I didn't understand Metal Gear Solid 2 when I first played it. I mean, how could I? I was only a child. References to politics and artificial intelligence flew over my head, fictional abstractions that distracted from the tactical espionage action at the heart of the game. I knew there was something profound there, though, a truth that could be grasped. And so as I grew older I put the pieces together. Hideo Kojima designed the game around the theme of meme, a term coined by Richard Dawkins in his book The Selfish Gene, which references a cultural replicator responsible for the transmission of information. We live in the information age and our currency is the meme. To convey this point, the game manipulates, contorts, and feeds information to us at its discretion. We play Snake, surely, in the sequel to one of the most heralded games of all time, but only for a few hours. Instead, we get Raiden. Kojima lied to us. The promotional material never mentioned this. This meta-context permeates all levels of the game. Not only will we fool, so too is Raiden. He is tasked with infiltrating the Big Shell, rescuing hostages, disarming terrorists. It's a conventional power fantasy, surely. But alas, the Big Shell is not what it seems. It is a front for a new metal gear. But wait, this too is a façade. Everything in the game is a design scenario for the S3 plan, Solid Snake Simulator. That's what it's called, right? This entire escapade is an experiment to put Raiden through his paces, to see if they can train a soldier as powerful as Snake. So Kojima is playing with us again. He's drawing parallels between the real world and his fictional one, of the military industrial complex, of the ubiquity of violence and war, and the complicity entertainment shares in reinforcing this cultural meme. The Big Shell is testing Raiden just as he is testing us. We are both playing a game, training ourselves to become soldiers of fortune. Revelations come thick and fast. Every character you meet is living a lie. Peter Stillman can walk. He is feigning his injury. Pliskin is not Pliskin. He is in fact the very Snake we have been trained to be like. What on earth is going on? Things get even weirder. Your primary contacts in the mission rose in the kernel. Start acting strange. Dispute gibberish and nonsense with increasing fervor. Then another revelation. They are AI. They are facsimiles replicating memes. But for what cause? The actual S3 plan. Selection for societal sanity. Memes re-enter here. The entire Big Shell incident was a testing ground to see if human behavior could be controlled, could be manipulated, by playing with information, by altering the context. Commandment by didactic decree will always inspire insubordination. Manipulation is the nuclear bomb of the information age. And so the game is a lie. It isn't what it seems.  Malleable identities, arbitrary goals. This is the domain of video games. Then there is AI of course. There is machine learning and algorithms controlling our actions. You are watching this video because an algorithm fed it to you. Search engines and advertisements and consumer goods and news and our very preferences are shaped by AI. We are awash in the information of others and we have now become the product. In 2001, the internet was in its infancy. But it is now ubiquitous. It is the air we breathe. When you grow up you learn about words. Words like metafiction. When text is aware of its own fictional nature. And postmodernism. A term off-sighted to describe Metal Gear Solid 2. Jean-Liotard proclaimed, postmodernism is incredulity towards metanarrative. There is no truth to be found, only your own meaning. This was the parting lesson of Metal Gear Solid 2. We can create our own memes. And so the game simply foregrounds something about the nature of games and play. It is also a lie. Why is play a lie? Gregory Bateson wrote about how play is like the liar's paradox. It is both truth and lie. When we attack someone while playing, this is not real. Just like how an animal snarling its teeth is not necessarily a threat. To do this, metacommunication needs to happen. We have to signal implicitly that we are playing. But games are also a lie. They are fictional constructions. They are designed artifacts. In fact, they are ones and zeros. They are actually the matrix we were so enamored by. With every game, we change our identities at a whim. In fact, we are actually new cybernetic circuits in games. We are algorithms in a feedback loop as we press buttons, as we stare at screens and as we slowly leave reality and enter the holodeck. We are already living a dystopian future where humans and machines have converged, where the truth of who we are is slowly eroding. So are video games inherently postmodern? Is Metal Gear Solid 2 simply revealing what was true of games all along? This can't be the case, right? Jean-Bapt Rihardt, one of the most famous of the postmodernists, critiqued the matrix because the movie suggested you could distinguish between inside and outside. The real truth of lie is only manifest when we can't tell the difference. But games aren't there yet. We know they are fictional. Except when we don't. Except when we get lost in games for hours because they fulfill our needs better than the real world. Jane McGonagall said reality is broken in her book of the same name, formalizing this inkling. The paradox of postmodernism is that it too is nebulous as a concept. It referred to a form of architecture that challenged modernism, but is more a perspective of skepticism towards grand theories of knowledge. It tells us to doubt what we know, because what we know is always in doubt. In literature, the author is dead. Authorial intent is not where meaning resides. In philosophy, values are relative. There is no objective moral truth. In science, our enlightenment drive towards the pursuit of a singular truth has led to warfare and misery and colonialism. Pick a flavor of postmodernism, deconstruction, poststructuralism. Unearth the lies that permeate your reality. Maybe games are the ultimate form of postmodern text. Are they the art form of our century, best reflecting the paradoxes of the information age? In his book, More Than a Game, Barry Atkins rejects this notion, arguing there is a structure to games. He suggests that there is a postmodern temptation to classify games as postmodern text, because they are interactive, ultrable, and played with. We are choosing, adapting, but just because the player is responsible for narration doesn't mean the designers aren't still narrating. We are co-narrating a story. The state space is vast in games, but it is mapped. We have heard all the jargon. Games are ergodic texts. They require work, but they are still texts that have observable properties. But if we look at Ahab Hassan's list comparing modern properties and their postmodern equivalent, games do seem to embody some of these. Modernism involves purpose, he says, but postmodernism involves play. Play disrupts, it creates, it challenges rules themselves. It is perhaps instrumental in the creation of culture itself. However, it also has a purpose, both in its design and expression, in different individuals and cultures. Modernism has design, but postmodernism has chance. In art, John Cage's 433 illustrates this. The music was the background sound. It was mediated by the chance of the surrounding environment. Games involve design though, but they are often designed to have chance. Contingency is why we even play games, argues Greg Kostykan in his book, Uncertainty in Games. Why would you start a game or a puzzle if you knew you would win? That the conclusion is predetermined. Modernism has an art object, but postmodernism is a process. Games are finished objects we sell as commodities, but as Brian Schrank argues in his book, Avangard Video Games, games and play are an extension of the Avangard traditions. They are about play as a performance art, as a vehicle for social upheaval. Performance art and play have been used by political movements, and so there is no defined game because we are a part of the game, we are a part of the text. Perhaps the way to solve this dispute is to recognize something else about Metal Gear Solid 2, that we are cybernetic systems in play. In his book Essays on Algorithmic Culture, Alexander Galloway argues that game structure how we behave through rules and processes of interaction, they dictate different allegory rhythms of play. When we play universal paper clips, the allegory rhythm is obsessive optimization as you try to make more and more paper clips. However, to break out of this design, we need to break out of the system and realize what we are doing will simply destroy the universe. Play is paradoxical, it is both modern and postmodern. It is both to submit to rules and to break the very rules that require submission. Tamer Tabit argues games exhibit a monstrous textuality so designers can pick and choose between both sides of this dichotomy. We can create linear narrative based games or allow for chance, uncertainty, and choice. We can have games like chess with perfect information or poker with hidden elements. We can author levels or we can use AI to procedurally generate experiences. We can tell players what to do or we can let them choose their own goals. We can let them define their own telos, their own purpose. But then there are games that revel in this duality between games and play, between submission and subversion. Undertale requires efficiently getting to the end as we do in all RPGs, but doing so leads to a bad ending, not to mention the murder of innocence. The witness asks us to obsessively pursue puzzles to seek enlightenment at the end of the rainbow, but does enlightenment truly lie at the summit of journey's end? In Bioshock, we submit to the designer's desires without question and the fictional character we inhabit is manipulated.  In all of these games, we have rhythms of play but are also given the capacity to break free of these algorithms. They allow us to truly discover the meaning of play. Metal Gear Solid 2 was the forefather of all of this. The first post-modern game is another way of saying the first subversive game, the first meta-fictional game, the first game that recognized itself as one. Its relevancy only increases as the years go by because we live in a world now consumed with the very half-truths that frame the game. Simulation and reality are finally starting to blend as the post-modernists foresaw. And so when Raiden rejects us, the player, he is exhibiting perhaps what we need to do in turn. He rejects the mandate of lies, of half-truths and of memes. He forges his own path. He understands that there is no real understanding that there will always be a facade that obscures our interface with what passes as reality. He is no longer submissive and is now subversive. Ironically, he later becomes a cyborg. Literally, he becomes the cybernetic vehicle that we are all slowly adopting, human and machine blending together to destabilize our identity. Play and games are not modern or post-modern. They are in fact paradoxical. Like we said, play is both truth and lie just as Raiden is, just as we are, just as I was when I discovered that the truth of Metal Gear Solid 2 is that there is no truth at all.


Hi, I'm Dr. Linsen Tixera, consultant obstetrician and gynecologist, women and child centre, KMC hospitals, Mangalore. Today I will be talking about cancer cervix. How to prevent cancer cervix? What is cancer cervix? Cancer cervix is the cancer of the cervix which is a part of the female genital tract. This is a slow growing cancer which can be detected very early. But the sad part is it is detected very late in India and that is why we have around 60,000 women dying in the year 2018 and it is almost around 25% of the disease burden in the world. And cancer cervix forms the second most common cause of cancer deaths in women in India. So coming to how this cancer cervix is caused. Cancer cervix is caused most commonly because of infection by a virus called human papilloma virus which affects almost 80% of women in the sexually active age group. Not all women infected with HPV virus have cancer cervix. There are certain strains of HPV which can turn the cells of the cervix into cancer. The good news for us is that cancer cervix can be detected early and that is why we have screening tests and as well as vaccine available to prevent cancer cervix. I will be talking about screening of cancer cervix. How do we screen? We have a test called pap test which has to be done in women after the age of 21 years or after they are sexually active. This test is done once in 3 years in women from 21 to 29 years and beyond 30 years of age women are offered pap test alone once in 3 years or pap test along with HPV test which is called co-testing which is done once in 5 years or else if they want they can do a HPV test once in 5 years. And for women more than 65 years pap test is not advised until and unless they have a history of a cancer cervix or they have not undergone any pap test previously. Coming to the HPV vaccine which is available this can be used very early in women and that way prevent the HPV infection especially the cancer forming strains of HPV. HPV vaccine is available in a biovalent, quadrivalent and a nanovalent form. This vaccine is given to girls between the age of 9 to 26 or any woman who is sexually active if she has not received HPV vaccination earlier she also can receive the HPV vaccine. HPV vaccine given to women once they are sexually active prevents genital warts but it does not prevent formation of cancer in these women. How do we give this HPV vaccine? We give HPV vaccine in 2 doses if the girl is receiving vaccination below the age of 15 years that is 0 and second dose after 6 to 12 months. And if the girl is receiving HPV vaccination after 15 years of age then we have to give her 3 doses 0, 1 to 2 that is 1 to 2 months after the first dose and the third dose after 6 months of the first dose. So this way we can prevent ca cervix from forming and that way we can detect any abnormalities or displace you of the cervix which can prevent cancer in the future.


The podcast is back, baby! That's right, Timbo. It's been a while. We literally, we had a little bit of a break for the summer. There's been a number of obstacles in our way that have stopped us from recording our highly regarded, anticipated podcast. Everyone we were so happy to hear was back on the internet airwaves, Jacko. There had been some requests of like, what I haven't known what to do on my Wednesday when the podcast that I was thinking at this point, Jacko, we need to quell any rumours that we have not fallen out. A few people have gone, what's going on? Have you guys had an argument? No, we haven't had an argument. There's been other live events have got in the way, like Jacko running far too far. Well, one thing I was thinking about in the early hours of this morning, not to, it's relevant. We're like a few statistics. I was thinking, I think we're in an A like this. I think this is episode 234 and we don't tend to ever have a break apart from at Christmas because, you know, you've got to go and deliver some presents. So we must have been doing 50 episodes a year. So if my math is correct, like we've been doing the podcast every single week for between four and five years. So I think that deserves it. And that's why people are, oh, God, something must have happened. We actually decided to have a little break. Yeah, just, yeah. People have been like, I could tell you've been doing it that long because you were not a content voice. We've had two months off to think of some new ideas of things that we can talk about. Yeah. So I've decided to go and run an ultimatum. So we've got something to talk about. I mean, that is the ultimate in scraping the barrel for content. We need to do stuff. So we've got things to talk about. That is the world. And I've definitely got something to talk about for you today. I'm interested to ask you, I am going to be question master today. And I'm going to quiz Jacko with the intention of bringing up some raw emotion and hopefully making him cry. Because I want to try and make you cry. That would be the real gem. No one's ever seen Tim cry. No, they haven't. It's, yeah, we'll talk about that. It's not about me today, Jacko. I don't even, do we want to roll a jingle or not? Yeah, of course, yeah. OK, we'll roll a jingle. All right, so let's not after that, but like a proper roll the jingle. Yeah, OK. So we're going to dive into a conversation today. It's all about Jacko's Ring of Fire, which is not an actual ring, not actually his ring of fire, but it's the Ring of Fire. It wasn't like I had a night out and went to Sapna's in town. Yes, usually imagination. So sit back and enjoy Jacko talking about his Ring of Fire. I can't take that seriously, but roll that jingle. Listen, players. You're listening to the movement, strength and play podcast by the School of Calisthenics. Here are your hosts, Tim and Jacko. Right, so let's have a conversation about the Ring of Fire. So, I mean, if you haven't been involved in our socials or Jacko's socials and you are wondering what indeed is the Ring of Fire, Jacko contextualized what it was that you decided to embark on this summer. Let's just clear up two things. It is number one is the Ring of Fire. And number two is what it is. It's a three day ultramarathon, which it does help if you know what you're doing is one of the things I've learned. OK, so let's start at the beginning. Why did you decide to do an ultramarathon? So like I'd started doing more running. Or I think actually it started in South Africa. Everyone says that's a long way to run. Now, as in the idea with we were we were in South Africa with you guys and Matt and Gemma, friends of ours. And I remember talking to Gemma, because I remember trying to separate my toes and I couldn't. And she was like, we're going to anyway. And so I got on to talking about marathons. Maybe she'd done a marathon or Matt done a marathon. And I remember thinking to myself, oh, yeah, you've always said you would have liked to do a marathon, but you never did because you was playing rugby, blah, blah, blah, like you're not allowed to contracts and what have you. And then I was like, oh, at that point, I think it'd been seven years since I'd retired. And it was like, well, what's your excuse? So I literally like the following week just signed up to a marathon. And then I really enjoyed the training. I enjoyed using the run as a chance to like get away, connect to myself. And actually it became a very good tool to actually like practice breathing better or train my breathing. And I was going down that rabbit hole at the time. So it was, yeah, it was good. It was almost like experimenting with my breath as I was running as well as practicing and honing it. And I had two rules for that marathon. One was enjoy it. And the other was you weren't allowed to stop yet to keep running. He did a trail based marathon, didn't he? It wasn't AM. It wasn't like a. It was a trail. Yeah, it was it was off-road trail in Suffolk. Bits fit on the sand on the beach. It was actually good preparation because the the ring of fire was 90 percent trail running around Anglesey Coastal Path. But anyway, essentially, I enjoyed it and wanted to enjoy it because I'd like the training. So I didn't want to like finish that marathon and be like, I never wanted to do this again because absolutely I've bodies ruined and hate it. And it did. I was pretty. I mean, I think I've talked about as far as pretty stiff and like walking was difficult the day after. But the following day, that's the first matter and like I actually trained again. I was like recovered pretty well and was pretty good. But what blew my mind was like the idea of running another marathon the following day. And so. I was looking for I was looking for a multi-day event. This one propped cropped up and it just ticked and were boxes round Anglesey in North Wales. Like my mum and dad are from that area. My sister currently lives on Anglesey. It was like to go and visit my sister and do some recces of the route. And that type of thing. It was just the idea of spending three in my mind. It was like, oh, running around the whole get to see the whole coast of Anglesey or the beautiful beaches all the way around across three days is going to be amazing. And what actually happened was I didn't see any of Anglesey other than just, you know, one foot square around on my feet were on the on the floor. And that was if I could see through the tears in my eyes. It started off as that would be a really enjoyable few days to actually like descend of the reality as I can gather from what I've seen so far was somewhat different. Yeah. You know, what's what's the worst that could happen? We're just going to like go around Anglesey. That would be nice. Yeah. So what I said, OK, so we've got so it's three days. Just just again, just finish this contextualization. It was three days. It gives us the breakdown of what you had to do each day. What your time cuts off. So then we can get into what you learned and the process that you went through. So and there's different levels to the learning. If anyone is going to go and take on some sort of challenge that they've never done before, I can give some surface level stuff. And then we can go as deep as you want to go. So it was one hundred and thirty five miles in total, which is two hundred and sixty kilometers on day. What they annoyingly, they don't spread it out evenly. And they they like squeeze it. So you start one o'clock Friday and you finish at three thirty Sunday. So you start one o'clock Friday. You've got thirty five miles to do and you've got nine hours to do it. So cut off ten p.m. at night. Day two, you start at six o'clock in the morning. My first one of my first mistakes was like, well, finishing at ten, starting at six. Eight hours. That's not too bad. Standard. And yeah, and it's not like you finish at ten and go to sleep and then wake up at six and start like there's a whole. Anyway, in your mind, you've got like blue blockers on. Get my red light. It's just like, okay. Might take you a bit of time to travel, but yeah, it was. And then anyway, so then day two started at six. That was then the big day that was like more than double. So it was 60 or about double sixty seven miles, one hundred and twelve kilometres or something. And you had eighteen hours to do it. That's a long way. So it's six in the morning till midnight. And then day three again, started six in the morning and then you finished at three thirty. It was only thirty three miles and they were nice. They gave you an extra half an hour. So you had nine and a half hours to do it, but that's. But that's because they gave you half an hour extra because you had to go over Holy Head Mountain, which is like it's not crazy high, but it's five hundred metres across the whole three days because the coastal path is quite up and down. You do four thousand metres of elevation. So it's like going up and down Snowden four times. And the thing that just one related to these timings is there was then like actually they were the cut offs. And this is where my poor preparation before the event started in the I saw those as cut offs.   Love it down in Newborough. I might go, it might go in the sea.  You're literally thinking you can have an half hour break if you want. Yeah. Whereas they are checkpoints not specific, not every every two hours, but roughly every two year showers, the checkpoints range from anything as short as like 11 K up to I think the longest might have been 18 K, 19 K, something like that. But that meant if there was a short one, you'd go, oh, brilliant. It's only 11 K. But then what that would mean is it would be like a horrendous terrain for 11 K. So and depending they couldn't do the checkpoint. It had to be a natural sort of break or place within the trail where you could actually get a car to in the support teams and all that sort of jazz. So, yes, I had very much had a love, hate relationship with these checkpoints, which started two weeks before the event when I actually decided to do some research and found out what the checkpoints were. And I was like, in all of my training, I'd never, ever, ever once ran for time ever. So it actually already started stressing me out. One that I didn't like being told I had to get somewhere for a certain time. And then the other thing was like, you could literally get you could you could get timed out after like literally 10 K. The first checkpoint, I think it was 11 K. But yeah, it just meant that you were constantly on the clock on the clock. And I, you know, I went into it saying it wasn't a race. Yeah. And it very, very quickly became a race. I mean, the other context is like. Day one was OK. Some basic sort of challenge on day one was this year they decided you could just do day one if you wanted, and they called it the fire starter. So you were like running along with people at the start and there's people going quite fast and then you're like, oh, they must be doing day one. Or you'd be you'd be trying all that was different was like when your number it was like a red thing rather than a black thing. So you'd be asking people, you know, is as you can imagine, quite excited at the start and you walk, I remember walking towards the tent for registration, the guy's like, are you doing the ring of fire?   Yeah, which, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, things. Yeah. I say, I'd the third is that run in a day before this was 30 miles. So one of the problems I had was like day one was actually a PB. Never done that before. Day two was like a double PB and then day three was another PB.   And OK, you've got you kind of know a little bit more about what you're going into. But your first kind of like foray into the marathon marathon world was always going to be quite difficult. What did you, because you managed to maintain a quite a high level of like a buoyant attitude. So I remember seeing you in the morning before the race and you like got his new shoes, got some like, like before you had everything going on. I was like, oh, it's great. Jaco's is ready to go. But like, were you at that point already bricking it? No, no, was it? Did you not did not hit home until you actually started the race? No, I was I was I couldn't. So it started Friday, Wednesday and Thursday night, I found it hard to sleep. I was excited. OK. And at that point, I thought I was well prepared. So I was like not necessarily I knew I was going into something I'd never done before. So I was there was a confidence is probably the wrong words. They just definitely knew I didn't know what I was doing. But it was like, I'm I'm happy with what I've done and I've done with what I've done. Something I'd something I'd said. Previously, it's like, if you can do half of something, I believe you can do all of it. And from a mindset perspective, it sounded a bit silly, but like also rationally, like, because you know, once you get halfway through something.  So, you know, you can do it type of thing.  And I just I didn't more so because I didn't have time in that type of stuff. And doing half of a marathon and then being able to get comfortable half marathons. Meant that marathon was all right. The trouble I had was I massively disrespected the challenge of the distance and what a multi-day event is like. So I thought by doing what I did manage to do in June in Xmore was a 40 miles over two days. There was this 30-mileer and then they had an extra 10 miles of a separate race on the sat on the following day. And that was good for me to like run the next day and actually feel like you're stiff as a board.  And actually, I felt better on the second day than the first day. But it was only 10. It was only 40 miles in total. What a top level or surface level sort of lesson for me is back to what I already knew, like you need to do half of it. Like, so what I needed was I needed a 70-miler over two days in and I feel like the. We've talked about this before with some of that like Gemma, who the who mentioned for the physio at British Athletics. You're most prone for injury when you PV, when you're at your best because your body's doing something it's never done before. It doesn't, your nervous system just doesn't know what it's like to experience that or fire like that or whatever. And I've definitely felt it now afterwards. It's like having done it and actually survived. My running now that I've recovered feels amazing. Went out for a run this morning. And I'm like, I've seen my old SNC coach, Joe Brun. We had him on pockets, actually. And he was like, he was like very clear on sort of like two things. He was like, well, what he was like, you've basically done probably six months of training and squeezed into three days. So he's like, if you let your body recover, yeah, you're gonna, you've got that those adaptations.  This was like once I'd finished. He didn't think I'd do it just being honest. And I actually really, there was two people that said that to me. One was my sister's neighbor. He'd never said it before, but afterwards he was like, he's a Jordy. He's like, I tell you what, Jocko. I didn't think he was gonna do it, man. Like, and he was like, don't take this the wrong way. He was like, just you haven't, like he'd know, I'll be taught quite a bit when I visited my sister. He was like, he knew how much training I'd done. He was like, he hadn't done enough. So you're not like, you can't. It was like, the body did, she did well not to actually like, get injured. But I feel like the nervous system needs to get an experience of a certain amount before you then wanna go and overload that. And I feel like a halfway point would be decent. I've got nothing necessary to back that up, if you know what I mean. But, and I definitely feel it now in the system, if I go, having recovered, run now, and it's like the amount of foot contacts I've got, like just my achilles and calves and things are just like bang, bang, bang, bang. It feels good. So yeah, that was definitely, that was definitely, it's weird, right? Because it's like, I wish I had have done that, but then some of the biggest things I've got out of it as an event was because I wasn't that and I wasn't ready and I wasn't prepared. But in terms of being excited before and buoyant, it's like, yeah, I was. I was almost like, I knew I was like letting myself be, because I was excited, I was letting myself be excited.  And it was like, it was getting all the food ready, it was getting all the drinks ready, muggins over it.  Yeah, she was absolutely like, we can get onto it later. So yeah, I think interesting though, because you say like, there's been a lot of experiences where you've not done something of that duration that's not going to be over quickly and your brain and system doesn't have the concepts. There'll be a lot of surprises that would have come up along the way. I've gone, well, I didn't expect that because you'd never done it before. Whereas that's when you see people with like experience of these sorts of things like you're going to go and do an event and things that happen, feelings that you get, your body's response, all that sort of stuff. You're like, I've been here before. And I guess that's probably where the challenge came from not having done that kind of amount of running, as you said, like half of it before. At what point when in the event itself, did you start to kind of go, oh dear, like I haven't either, I haven't prepared optimally for this or I'm in over my head or I'm like, when the word of the world kind of closes and go, okay, this is serious. It, so I say day one, I was hoping to do it in, what do we have here, nine hours to do it. And I think I was hoping to do it in about seven and a half and it's only eight and a half. So it was a bit slower. It meant we got back a bit later, to bed a bit later, had an ice bath. I felt better after the ice, but it was like, okay, that was harder than I was thinking it was gonna be. And day two is like, just don't know what day two is gonna be like. And it was the case of like, okay, lie down in bed. Alarm's set for half four because we had to get up and then drive half an hour to the start of the next checkpoint because I chose to like have the base and the sister's house because it was about half an hour drive from any of the checkpoint, any of the day's starting points. So it squeezed that time from like, okay, probably got in bed at about half 11, 12. Alarm's set at half four. System couldn't turn off. Brain, like all night, nervous system was just like, well, I don't know about you, Jacko, but I'm ready to go running. And I was like, so couldn't sleep. I reckon I slept like two or three times for 10 minutes, something like that. But again, there's a bit of an excitement of like, day two is like the thing. It's like, it's the double distance day. Well, if you can do day two, like your statistically history has shown that like only one or two people in the final day don't make it type of thing. If you make it to start day three, you're very close to doing it. And in my mind, I was very much like thinking that was the case and a lot of people talked about that. There's one person, Brian Keane, who's another fellow ultra runner that isn't an ultra runner. We had him on the podcast couple of times and he did say to me, I met him in Ireland, he gave us some very good advice. And we'll probably come back to this in the story that he was like, no, no, day two isn't your problem. He was like, day three is your problem. And he was like, what is that? He'd done marathon to Sabra and one in the Arctic. And he was like, you might not be able to get out of bed on day three. He said, he says, he remembers his mom and his sister, I think, or his daughter having to physically pick him up to get him out of bed because he couldn't get him going for that final day.  But it was good that we heard it. It was good that my wife heard that as well, most importantly. But yeah, so I'll come back to that. Cause day two or day one was the most of the route that I knew. We'd wrecked most, we'd wrecked half of day one. So day two, those bits of it we knew from just being around the area and whatnot. But just some really, really slow bits, really slow bits. And I came into the first checkpoint about 15 minutes early, which was okay. But wanted to start to build up a bit of a buffer for like, okay, I'm gonna die later. Let's have a bit of a buffer. And the next checkpoint, I'd lost five minutes. I was down to 10. And the next one I came in.  Yeah, yeah. So I basically was then like, it started to become stressful being that close. And I think before the third checkpoint, there was eight checkpoints on day two. Before the third one, Catherine started running with me. Completely unplanned. She'd run the last section of day one planned because it was in the dark. She was like, it's just nice to have someone with you in the dark. But she started running before the third checkpoint on day two, just because she could see that I needed it. They were worried that I wasn't gonna make that checkpoint because there was a tracker you could see where people are going into it.  And like, we'd started four minutes late on day two. And the guy in his announcement said, you know, we've never ever started late ever. But they were forming, say anyway, I get to the checkpoint at Beaumaris. No, the one before Beaumaris, I think Beaumaris was halfway, but the one before I got to the checkpoint, I was like, to Marshall, I was like, or just sort of, you get there and you're just like, you're trying to be as quickly as possible because there's eight checkpoints. If you spend 10 minutes at a checkpoint, you're wasting down 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. You ain't got that. So you're trying to be as quick as you can, have something to eat, fill up your bottle again, and like, go. And I was like, can someone confirm the four minutes that we'd like, you're giving us those back. And everyone was like, ooh, ooh, ooh.   I was like, those four minutes were like, and sorry, we don't normally swear on the podcast, but like, yes, it was raw. And that was like mega desperate. It was like four minutes meant everything anyways.  Well, that's stressful, right? Like you think about those, like we move from conditioned sessions, it's a bit of a, that's completely different context, but you set those up and it's like, right, we're gonna go every 45 seconds and it's like, you've got running to do whatever. And like, if you're the guy at the front, you get there with like 20 seconds of spare, you like just chill in, like, absolutely fine. You see the like, rugby context, you see the prop forward coming in, like literally on 44 seconds. Right? We're going again. So it's the least fast, least fittest person just gets absolutely shafted in those.  Like you are literally like running for your life in terms of staying in the event each time with minimal cushion, it's stressful. I sat down once at a checkpoint and that was the penultimate checkpoint on the last day. It's only to change the socks, it's the only time I sat down. But yeah, so as day two just got mingled, but you went through these different stages where it was like, actually would feel good to run all of a sudden, even though you felt absolutely gone. But essentially, my Garmin ran out of battery, flipping halfway through day two. It couldn't even last. So day two ended up being 17 hours, 45 minutes. Came in 15 minutes to spare, yeah. Shout out Garmin, sought me out with a better watch. Son, who's our mate that works with Garmin? Martin Yellin. Martin Yellin, he sort of said, anyway, is that why you just basically bought the cheap Garmin, didn't you, Jack? Yeah, but the GPS on the Garmin absolutely rinses the battery, on all of them, to be honest, like all trackers, it's the GPS track. Anyway, side note, keep going. What it ended up doing was it ended up being like, well, you don't know how fast you're going, you don't know how far you've gone, you don't know how long you've gone. It was a case of like, you've just got to get to that next checkpoint. And it was like, how long is it? How far, right, and that was it.  So she's probably done 50 miles that day. 50 miles. Just up the box.  But yeah, we got there and it was like, wow. And we're getting back, having the ice bath, because the ice bath helped last time. Ice bath nearly sent me into some sort of like, thermal shock. I was like shaking, shivering, got in bed, I couldn't get warm. I mean, by the time- The system at that point is like, don't put any more stress in. This is a bad idea. Like you don't stress many more. But my muscles and joints and like, my legs liked the ice, but just like the nervous system didn't. So probably got laid down in bed at like half one. And again, a alarm set for half four. And it was like, well, I know what's gonna happen, because I've just experienced it before lying, if I have to sleep and brain's just going like, let's run, let's run, let's run. Or when are we going running? I'm ready. It's like I'm ready, Jack. We're going, anyway. Again, Doze's offered 10, 20 minutes or something like that. I woke up and then that's, I knew it was bad on day two, but then this is when it just, so I wake up and I feel sick. I've got headache. And it was the same type of feeling and sensations I had from a brain injury. And I turned to Kathy and I'm like, I can't do it. I can't do it. And it was like, I don't want to do it. I feel sick. And she said, you need to try, otherwise you're gonna regret it. Because she didn't say, remember what Brian Keen had said to us, but she was remembering that. She was like, because I asked her afterwards, like, why did you push me? I'm surprised. Not push me, but join, just encourage me. I didn't expect her to encourage me. I was expecting her to say, yeah, like, this is ridiculous. Enough is enough. Like, you've had a good go at it.   And she came downstairs to just wish me good luck. She could hear me, wish me good luck for the final day. And I'm like, I'm like, sat there crying. I can't poo. I'm just a mess.  Like, I was actually disgusted with myself of like, because what I felt was like, like, because everyone there was so nice, like all the stewards, it's such a great event and all the other runners and everything. It was amazing. One of the amazing things about ultra running that I really loved was like, you know, you could look at me aesthetically, I'm thin and some muscle tone and blah, blah, blah. An ultra event like that doesn't care if you're 65 or 25. It doesn't care if you're like thin or not. It doesn't care. It doesn't care about any of that. And it was just, you had no idea. You'd look at someone and go, are they gonna make it or not? You're like, I've got no idea. And I disrespected like everything. So I felt like I shouldn't have, I felt like I was sorry that I'd signed up to it. And I was a bit scared like, because I didn't want to go and do it, but then I felt a bit ashamed and I was very, very negative.   You're not an ultra runner.  And then to add a bit of taste to it was like, with, there's two, like Vivo bear for an auction advantage at both, because we've approached them to like, sponsor, support the event, basically pay for two guys to come and film, to film it, to make like a documentary of it. Because in my mind, there was gonna be this nice story and out of it, whatever. And I was at that, I'm going like, See the documentary of Anglesey is gonna look beautiful.  And it was like, to add on top of that, you've got two people to come and film this and two companies to pay for it to be done. Like, what are you gonna say to them? What's the story now? Oh, we tried hard and we had a good go at it. And it was really hard the first two days, but we couldn't do the last day. But everyone likes to try her. Like, what do you mean? I was literally like trying to go through my mind. Like, what are you gonna do? Like, what's gonna be the story? Anyway, my little sister goes, just try and get in the car. That's the first step.  I was like, I'll try and get in the car. Cause it was like, I felt like it was a beautiful thing because I'd like, you know, I'd written down like I knew what the checkpoints were, how far to do, but I'd completely forgotten about the ability to literally get to the start. And there's some, there's definitely like a simple, what's the simplest actionable step you can take in something in life when you feel completely overwhelmed and out of your depth. Like there's something that you can do. You can take what is there, try and find that or get people around you that can support you to actually do that. And that's what happened. I didn't, I didn't think, she didn't challenge me. She didn't suggest anything other than try and get in the car. So I tried to get in the car, literally. I was then, I'll get in the car. My sister-in-law Sarah came, she was picking us up. She then sees me on the toilet as well. Like by this point, I've already done a poo in the middle of the street like on day two. Like you've lost, you've got no respect for yourself. It's not the same, but it makes me think if we're like, when Carla went through pregnancy, there comes a point where she was like gonna go and like I always picture the mind, it's gonna be perfect.  Have a look at whatever you need to. Whoever needs to come in can come in. I don't care anymore. Yeah, yeah, definitely. So then, yeah, literally, I was like, get in the car. So like, got, I mean, Sarah, Sarah was picking us up in the car. I literally got my stuff together. I couldn't put my left, I kicked it. I've still, my toe is still bruised now. I don't know if I broke it or something, but I kicked a big rock on day one. And that toe had been annoying me on the left foot like the whole time I was limping. It was weird. I was like walking when you see some of the footage, you're like, I'm limping when I walk, but like running's a bit better. It was like worse for me to walk. My walk was very slow. It helps to have a good walk if you're gonna do an ultra. Cause you're gonna walk at some points. It helps to be faster walking. Anyway, I couldn't even get my left shoe on. So I'm like in the car, I think Sarah gave me some paracetamol. I'm thinking, oh yeah, paracetamol, that might help. And I'm just saying, I can't think. Catherine's like got all of my, like I didn't even have my race bib. I didn't have nothing. Catherine got all of my stuff together. Bearing in mind, she'd run 50 miles the day before as well. And she was thinking, you know what I'm saying? She's like, yeah, I didn't think I was gonna be able to run on day three. Felt horrendous. And she was like, then I saw Dave and felt better. And then she said the other thing, she was like, well, and when I saw her I was like, okay, once we'd got to the start line, she was like, well, this ain't gonna last very long. So yeah, I'll start with it. But yeah, we get to the, we get there. I finally get my left shoe on, hobble out. And I'm thinking, I'm thinking I've done an amazing job to get here. And I'm like looking for who's, who are the other guys and girls? They're absolutely fast. Where's my community right now? I need my other, where's the other people that can, you surround myself with yourself and feel better. There's one, there's one guy sat down in this village hall. He's about 65 years old. He might not have even been doing the event. I don't know. Everyone else is like walking around. I'm sure they were stiff and stuff, but walking around, laughing, having a smile. And yeah, I am a bit stiff. Like, but everyone's like doing all right. And I was like, it just sent me into just a pit of just like. Excuse me, I'm here for the pity party. I don't know where, directly to wherever that's happening, please. I was like, literally sat. So I found a chair to collapse on. I was like, again, my hair is just over my face. Cause I didn't want to look at anyone. I didn't, I didn't want to look at anyone in the eye. Cause I'd like, you know, by disrespecting the event, I was like disrespecting all these people who'd come prepared. And I still did. I don't. I don't think cousin it was going to be doing the. Yeah. And it wasn't like, it wasn't like, you know, to cut a long story short, like we completed it. I say we not I, we completed it in the end within the time for anything, but it doesn't change the fact that I disrespected every single person there and the event. I don't know. Why do you think that? Why do you think you disrespected other people by rocking up to an event and having a pop at something that was outside of your comfort zone? Because I can't describe to you how far out of my comfort zone. Like I'm there as a grown man, just crying my eyes out in this room, literally like, like if someone had offered me, if God had just come out through the door should we just go now and you can be dead? I'd have been like, oh, thank God you're here. Like let's go. Like I don't want to be here no more. Like, and we walked out of that door and there was one guy.  I mean, the good people are like ridiculously good. And they, when we're finishing at midnight, they're getting in at seven o'clock in the evening. Fish and chips like a pub. Yeah. But anyway, everyone runs off. I can't even remember Catherine, Mrs. Jaco being with me at this point in that it was just dark and I was like, gingerly walking. I was literally hobbling as I walked out. And one of the marshals was like, great energy Dave. Like, and I remember thinking like, you're taking the best, but I had no energy to like do anything. And we had for the first two hours, they'd warned us in the rave briefing there was like a storm with like 20 mile an hour winds and rain. So we come out and I'm like, in my mind, I'm going, well, at least I'm moving. I've started. Didn't think I'd get here. Best case scenario. We'll walk to the first checkpoint, get timed out. All my family's here. We'll just walk the rest of the day. How long is it going to take to limp around 33 miles? I was trying to wait. I was like, I don't know. Will we finish before midnight? I was just trying. And I was thinking, at least I can say I've done it. There's something there. Like I did it, but not in the actual event. I finished the route. It took about 20 minutes to do the first kilometer, which is like, try and think of a word of, how slow it's slow. And the rain was just like hammering that this 20 mile an hour like wind into our face. And you were literally like, this is so bleak now. Let's just get it over with a bit quicker. Like if I can, can we just move a bit faster? So just tried running. And it was like my foot was less paint, like my toe was less painful running and just started running. And then I remember shouting to Catherine. I was like, Catherine, I'm running. And she was like, I know. And I was like, I don't know how. Like it was, that was a pretty cool feeling. It was like, there's this override that makes no sense physiologically. Like it happened a few times. The last 300 meters, I sprinted. And I mean sprinted, fastest I've ran because I haven't done any fast running for a long time. Just sprinted the last 300 meters of the whole thing with it's like, how is that even what's going on there physiologically? It doesn't make sense. Do you think there's a piece there in like the realization of the system? So it's obviously like people have talked about this at length in terms of like the physiological capacity and there's almost like a rate limiter. You've got the whole kind of very simplistically the fight or flight type of response to extreme stress in that sense.  Like, and the faster I can get this done, the sooner it's going to be. So you're in a place of where it's like, I don't want to do it versus I just want to get this done. And the quicker I get this done, the quicker this is going to be over.  It when it ended up for me being a case of like, and like I believe in positive mental attitude and positive thinking definitely helps. But it was not a determining factor for being able to achieve something in that I was so negative, I completely given up. There was not a single ounce of positivity in my body. And actually thinking was just like a waste of energy. And it was literally going to like those thinking of like what my sister said to me like an actionable step. And it was like, for me, it was just, it was like don't think about anything. I didn't like try not to think about anything. I just ended up like not thinking about anything. Yeah, what's the next step? Was it literally like what's the next step?  And that's literally, literally all it was. But you know, the whole time I had, so Catherine ran that all 33 miles at the end. So she'd done over 80 miles across the three days. And she was navigating, yeah, like navigating, drink, water, encouraging, just literally like dragging me through that thing. And. What a Mrs. Jaco. Yeah, yeah. I would not have got anywhere close on my own for sure. Mate, what a story. So it's just, I don't know, let me share a reflection. And I want to give you a little bit of an open platform because I think we could probably talk about this for a couple of hours. But so you hear those stories where people have been to that kind of place. And like the one that reminds me of is, I don't know if you've seen not much of a movie guy, are you? But like there's one called Touching the Void. Whereas it's the guy who basically gets cut off of a climbing line on K2, falls into a crevasse and then like completely busted up and then crawls himself back down to the base camp on K2. And his mindset is like, can I get to that rock? Get to that rock? Can I get to the next rock? And this guy's like same place in terms of absolutely broken. But there's definitely that thing that I'm interested on your reflections on this of going, like you can hear all those stories and you can watch all the motivational movies around that, but what's the difference of actually finding yourself in that situation to what you are now, like two or three weeks later from a reflective perspective? Has what's changed as a result of being there that you're now in your perspective of life, hardship, resilience? What's the difference? That's a good question.  Like one is one's connection in that I went into the event thinking it was gonna be a challenge for me and I was gonna do some like, you know, personal inner work, let's say. What it turned out very quickly to be was like a need and a desire like for other people and to connect. That, and then the second thing being that override and that override that was kicking in for, because Catherine had it as well because she'd not trained for the further she'd run before this was 15 miles and then does 80, like, but that for us, I believe that override was just coming out of love and a need to help someone, support someone. I sort of think about it like this, if you fall over down onto the floor and you need help getting back up, I pick you up. I don't pick you up and throw you in the sky. So I can only help you and show you as much love as you need at that time. I don't recommend it and it wasn't, I wasn't trying to talk to you about this, but I was out in my depth, I was literally at the bottom of wherever and I needed a lot, but when you, I was just forced into that position of being just totally vulnerable and just totally at the mercy or just at the need of Catherine. And it's made me understand some stuff about myself in that, like, you're like this because you will have described me as an awkward hugger, right? Yeah, that would be a fair thing and it's like, I didn't know that it's going into this type of thing, but when I was like, you'd get to the checkpoint, you'd get to that next checkpoint, and one of the things you're gonna get at that checkpoint is some people there cheering for you and if anyone there that I, like, if I saw you, you're getting hugged. It was like, I just desired that, like, physical contact. It was almost like I got energy from the physical contact and there was no awkwardness in it. It was just like, I need you. Like, come in here and give me, give me, it's like I need it. And I've understanding for myself that, like, there's a desire and a want to, like, connect deeper with people, but an understanding that, like, I've an awkwardness to me when I don't know someone. Like, it takes me a long time. So it's not that anything's necessarily changed now in that, like, I'm still gonna be, like, socially awkward around someone when I don't know them, but I'm aware of that much better and I'm aware of, like, what things can I start to do or think about that's gonna help me connect with people without having to, like, absolutely bury myself on an ultramarathon. Yeah, yeah, that's really cool. I'm glad that actually 135 miles are running means that we can actually have a normal hug now. That's gonna be good. Well, if you were there, you would have got one, but what I'm saying now, I'm still awkward at the moment, I'm still working, aren't I? Don't worry, when I see you next, we'll get in there. We'll have a kind of practice in a safe space. Right, so we're 45 minutes in, Jack, and we're gonna bring us in towards the landing, but there is so much in here that you could probably unpack and I could continue to do an excellent job as a question master as I feel like I have to do it. Yeah, you have been, yes. So if you had a platform now, which you have for the next few minutes, what are you sharing? Like, if someone says, like, and obviously it'll be different for different people, but like, what is the biggest thing that you would want to pass on from this experience to other people? I was like forced into vulnerability, but got an experience out of that that I wouldn't swap that for it. So it's this weird, it's this difficult thing of like, I haven't got a David Goggins message for you of like, just hammer yourself and kill yourself because it's not recommended as far as I'm concerned, but I experienced a level of like need and reliance on someone else, like a baby being reliant on the mother or father. And as an adult, we don't do that and a lot of our society will tell us that being strong is that, you know, you can do it on your own. And for me, it's completely flipped up on its head. And there was a bit of a strange parallel that I'll share, but it comes with a caveat of like, I feel bad saying it because it's unfair. It's just, it's not proportionate, but there was a parallel that came out when we were filming some reflections where, you know, when my dad died early this year and I was living at home, helping my mum look after me, he passed from Canton. The last four weeks, like I saw his health deteriorate, but his reliance on my mum, like increased as his condition deteriorated. And it was like the saddest thing I've probably seen, but at the same time, the most beautiful thing I've seen in that I saw a side of my dad that not sort of really seen before. And all he had, he had nothing. His life was just literally stripped down to nothing. He can't do anything. But all he wanted was my mum. I literally remember him sat on the couch and saying that and all he wanted was my mum. But then, and the beautiful thing was all he needed was a, that was it. And there was that parallel for me, which I'll say it's disproportionate because you know, that we're talking about my dad's life, but there was a, there was an, there was, yeah. It's actually, I didn't, you know, I signed up to this event way before my dad got ill. So I didn't sign up to the event to help with the grieving process, but the experiences has given me that out. I felt like I've went to that, went to a place of vulnerability. And I haven't got the answers for people, but I'd encourage people to like, where can you allow yourself to be vulnerable? Because some beautiful things can happen if you go there. Just go there with someone or with people. Good, I'm going to add no comment on that because I think you said everything that needs to be said. Well, we haven't actually, it's finished the story, Jaco. Did you finish the Ring of Fire? Yeah, yes. In the time limit. We're at 15 minutes to spare. There you go. Third from last.  And I was like, no, can I have some water? And then literally there's like, Marshal was like, looking around, he's got all this beer. And he's like, I don't think we have any water. I think it's got water in it, is that okay? But I sat down, literally hugging everyone, and then once we've stopped hugging and stopped crying, I sat down with Catherine, and I said to her, why do we do these things? And not in a, when I said we, not just me and her, I meant we, everyone here, but I'm just people who do events. It was like, why do we do it? Because I had, I didn't have a sense of achievement at the end.  Like, it doesn't matter. Like, why does it matter? Like, why did we, why did we do that? It was interesting. But the biggest sense of achievement I had, was coming into checkpoint one. This will be the last thing I'll say. The best sense of achievement I had was coming into checkpoint one, about 200, 300 meters before checkpoint one on day three.  Right, so 106 people started the whole event. 106, 87 got to day two, 56 got to day three, and then 53 people finished. And they said, statistically, if you get to the day three, your chances are you're gonna finish. So only three people didn't.  So I don't know who those people were, but what happened to them? But yeah, I was like, I remember coming into that, and I was like, I literally felt like I'd come back from the dead. I was like, so boy, like the energy, yeah, the guys filming will have that one.  You don't like the, they were like, there was bacon and egg sandwiches there.  I'm like, bacon and egg, but it was no, they meant John bacon or do you want egg? And I was like, both, both. And they were like, okay. And then it was so, and then it was like, John red or brown sauce? Both. Just, but it was that feeling of, it was that feeling of like, I don't know how I'm here. I think that person in front of me, Catherine was like, but I'm here. And it was like, if we can make one, we can make the next one. Yeah, yeah. And then it would literally chip in, chip in them like that. And there was plenty of twists and turns along, along the way. So that, but, but generally speaking, it was like follow Catherine. She's about 1500 meters ahead. Come on, Dave. Come on, Rio. And anytime I was like, yeah, yeah, it was, yeah. Not recommended. Yeah. Amazing. Let's leave it there, mate. Well done. Congratulations on a fine achievement of human performance, resilience and stupidity. Yeah. I was going to say it's none of those things until he says stupidity. It wasn't, it wasn't, yeah. I think, yeah. I mean, it's, yeah, it is, it is all of those things. Because I think it's all relative to each individual. And I think that's what you went in for. Like, well, we maybe didn't know that when you started, but going into these things as an unseasoned marathon athlete with no context of what you were doing, like it was always probably going to be about what you were going to learn. And the fact that you finished it in hard conditions is no joke, mate. So well done for that. And you should be very proud of yourself for completing the Ring of Fire in such a fashion. Yeah. There was so many people we met. You're running along, you're like, is this the first time you've done it? I think I've met one person that hadn't done it before. Everyone else. It was like, oh, tried last year, got timed out on day two. I mean, I remember speaking to someone on the first day. Sorry, I'm divergent.  On the first day, I was like, oh, have you done it? And he was like, yeah, there's three of us. Last year, we got timed out at the first checkpoint on day three. And I was thinking, this is day one, I'm like fresh thinking, what idiot? Like, as if you'd get to day three morning and then struggle in the morning to get to the first checkpoint. So what did you know? Yeah, yeah. So what I mean is, by that is like, I don't have to go back. And you know, if you'd not done it, you'd be going like, oh, I can see how people got. Cause I was like, why is anyone coming back? But I could see how, yeah, I'll go back as a spectator. For sure, it's a wicked event, but yeah. All right, so we might be, we're going to wrap this one up for today. Thanks, Jaco, for sharing all of that, going a little bit deeper. We may have a small break again. So if you waited for next week's podcast and it might be a week or so, but bear with us, there's just a few things to navigate in our going on, but we are going to be coming back. We are not going anywhere. Jaco, well done. Good stories, sign us off into whenever we're going to be here next. Well, just one thing I'll say is there is, there is a successful documentary to come out on it. Can people still donate as well? Yeah, people can donate. Yeah, I'll put the link in the show notes for the Pettles charity, for the Just Giving page. Thank you for everyone that's already donated. Tell people about it very quickly. What is it, Pettles charity? So it's for families struggling or like dealing with the process of going through miscarriages. Great charity. Very, very important charity. Yeah, so if anyone can donate to that, put the link in the show notes. And yes, the documentary will be out hopefully sometime in November, but we'll keep an eye on sort of emails and socials for any announcements about that. It'll come up because it will be the number one recommended film on Netflix. So everyone can see it, I imagine. I'm excited to see it. It's gonna look great. No, just massive thank yous. I mean, I had so many messages and I didn't even look at social media for like three days. And it was like afterwards, like so many messages from people just wishing me good luck throughout. And it was amazing, amazing, amazing to see. So thank you to everyone that did. Good job. All right, shall I sign this off or are you gonna do it?  Until next time, keep exploring your physical potential through movement, strength and play. And don't try and do things you can't do. But redefining impossible sort of is that, isn't it? But you know what I mean, do it in a progressive. You are right, you are right, you are right. Do it in a progressive approach to your training. Make sure you do at least half of something. Yeah. Class dismissed. I need to go to parents' eat.


Family Theater presents Cameron Mitchell and Gigi Perot. Virtual network in cooperation with Family Theater presents Survival Mechanism, starring Cameron Mitchell. And now, here is your hostess, Gigi Perot. Thank you, George Crowell. Family Theater's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives if we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families, and peace for the world. Family Theater urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now to our transcribed drama, Survival Mechanism, starring Cameron Mitchell as Russell. In the sea, oh Captain, there's nothing, nothing I can think of that scares me quite as much as the idea of being down in the sea. One man down in all that ocean. And he might not be, that's what gets me. You mean his last call? Yeah, that's exactly what I mean, that last call. He said he saw an island and he was gonna try and make it, didn't he? That's what he said, but, well, the mind plays tricks on a man, you know that. Yeah, sure, but for a reason usually. How could I? Sometimes you see what you wanna see, Gil, what you think you need to see. I mean, a guy could be saying to himself, what I need is an island that mean it so much he'd see it and knock it up, would ya? Never spend a day thirsty and dream about water that night? Yeah, what you're talking about is, well, it's a subconscious defense mechanism. Like you use well to keep your sanity. Are the part of your being considered the most important? Well, there's no island in these waters. Maybe you got something there. Let's see how long it's been since Russell's left. Hey! What's up? Bank the starboard. All right, you see something? Bank, will ya? I can't be sure. Where? Might be a bird. Look, there! That's no bird. That's a man in the water. Let's go get him, boy. Hold him, sir. I'll get him and give you a hand. There, there, I'm up. This is one heavy man. But more than half of it's seawater. Okay, can you get his legs? Got him. Okay, onto the stretcher. Man, I'm glad I don't have to do this for a living. That does it. Boy, it looks bad, doesn't it? Still breathing? Yeah, break out some of those blankets. Hey, Russ. Russ! Hey, let's catch you on your side. Share the blankets, sir. All right, help me roll them so they can cough out some of that water. Yes, sir. Hey, that's better. God heard me and hath attended to the voice of my supplication. Blessed be God who hath not turned away my prayer, nor his mercy from me. Huh? What's all this? Delirium? You got me, sounds like a prayer. How are we going back here? We got him, Commander, he'll make it. What's wrong? I don't quite know. This guy looks, well, he looks like Russell and he sounds like Russell, but Ernie, he sure doesn't talk like Russell. At least not like the Russell I knew. Maybe we better get going, Captain. Looks like he's real sick. Things in focus here? Hi, Ernie. You better sit down. You'll tip this crate over. Yeah, mind it that. Who's minding the store? Gil, Gilberg, you know him.  How do you want your coffee? Oh, you got it. In a cup? Good enough. And watch your cups hot. Right. You have any trouble, Ernie? I mean, get me a board? Blake had to go in the water to pull you out, but he spent time with the captors anyway. It's all stuffed to him. Had to go into the water? Yeah. To get me off a raft? Now, wait a minute. Off a raft? Oh, so you were on a raft, rubber? Oh, bamboo. What's the matter with you? Say, what's this they were telling me about you getting religion or something? What do you mean? You came out of the water quoting scripture.   War's over. The one. Both of us. God in me. Everybody won. I'm glad to hear it, Russ. Even if it did cost my boss an airplane. Uncle Sam's airplane's not being wasted, Ernie. In fact, I don't think it could have been put to better use. Wait a minute. Slow down, boy. You lost me. That island back there, Ernie. That's what I'm talking about. The island? And the people who live on it. What happened? Well, the people now give it to me from the beginning. From three or four days ago? Well, nothing. Well, as you know, I was flying the exercise, part of the war games at Okinawa. Well, you know all that. I'd finished my share of the work, had used up all my ammo, and I was headed back to the carrier. Everything was going along fine. Plenty of fuel. In fact, I had an excess, and I figured to use up as much of the excess as I could. Climbing. But it was while I was climbing that it happened. I guess you could say I saw it coming. You hear about infantrymen being able to see an artillery shell or a mortar shell coming. Well, for just an instant, I saw something that seemed to be coming at me. It was a bird, I think. And I saw it, white and gray, getting suddenly bigger in front of the ship. Then I didn't see it, but I knew where it went because the ship started shaking itself to pieces. I cut my engine, set my speed brakes to lower the vibration, and then I called home. Queen B, this is Red Wing 3. Queen B, this is Red Wing 3. Over. Come on, acknowledge. Queen B, this is Red Wing 3. Emergency, do you read me? Over. Come on, come on, I'm in trouble. I got a bird in my intake. Queen B, this is Red Wing 3. I don't hear you. I don't read you. My planes had a bad shaking. My receiver may be out. If you read me, I am ditching approximately 75 miles, 75 miles southeast of you, and route from the exercises to your position.  There's an awful lot of ocean down there. Only there were an island. Something. Queen, this is Red Wing. I'm losing altitude fast. I'm ditching the plane about 70 miles southeast of your position. Over.  My receiver's out. I'm probably not sending either. Just talking to myself.  Let's see, check and shoot harness, good, good. People want to fall or get me when I can drown. Drown. Flight. Life jacket. Life jacket. Won't have to drown. No, can die of exposure. Okay. If there was a God, maybe I could ask for a miracle. What's the agnostic's prayer? Oh, God. If there is a God, save me. If you can save me. There was only an island down there. Only an island. Now the next step, blow the canopy.  Hey, wait a second. Russell. Hello, Queen Bee, this is Red Wing Three. I see an island. I'm going to try for the island position. About 60 to 65 miles southeast of your position. Over. An island. You might make it yet, Russell. Secure that speed brake. You gotta stretch your glide. We might make it yet, boy. We might make it. When the plane came to rest in the jungle, I just sat there. I hurt all over. Maybe that was the reason I didn't try to move. If you've ever been in a crash or hit on a battlefield, maybe you know how I felt. At first, surprise.  And then the second feeling you get. Well, it's a kind of fear. You're afraid to try to move. Or for that matter, you're even afraid to look down at your body for fear you'll find too much wrong. That you'll find a wound that can only mean death.   That's what I did. I studied the pain in my neck and shoulders and across my lap and I knew it was all right. They'd be from pulling against the safety straps and the too rapid de-acceleration of the crash landing. My knees hurt, but I knew that couldn't be too much because I could work the muscles of my legs. There were no other pains. So I broke out of the harness and stood up and looked around at the path my plane had cut through the jungle. That was when I first saw the people. They were standing at the edge of the clearing, smiling at me, smiling as if I were a little kid who'd done something to be proud of. Then the light started to close in and I saw the ground rushing up to meet me and I was out. You're awake at last, Mr. Russell. Hello. Can you speak English? And read it. Oh, let me get off my back. I will help you. Thanks. Oh, it's dark out. You've been asleep for several hours. I have. Not unnatural for someone suffering from shock. I don't know. Maybe I'm still out. Or this seems like a dream. Perhaps a little walk in the air. It would be all right. I think so. Let me help you up. Thank you. Oh.  Yeah, we'll take care of that, Mr. Russell. Watch that step. Yeah. You knew my name? The metal tag you wear around your neck. Dog tags. I forgot. Well, I'm afraid I don't know your name. My name is Sebastian. My real name is Sebastian Kwan. But here I am known only by my first name. Well, that's good enough. The terms you used, you a doctor? I was a doctor. But then I suppose I am many things. Looks like we're coming to the village. Doc, what's the name of this island? The name? The name. What do you call it? I'm afraid. I'm afraid it has no name, Mr. Russell. If there were only one person in the world, would he need a name? No, I suppose not. To the people who live here, this is the only place in the world. Only one man on this island has ever seen any part of the rest of the world. You mean that? I do. But chips, let's stop here. What do they call your island? That has never happened in my memory or in the memory of the oldest man here. Oh, man. Shall we continue? A wall. I want you to see our city. Oh, yeah, yeah. By all means. By all means. All this is a little confusing. If you have any questions. Well, you bet I have.  And a while back, you said something. Father, father. Mary, here. Hey, what's this? My daughter. I didn't want this to happen, so I had a chance to speak to you. Oh, Mr. Russell is awakened, I see. Yeah, I have. Thank you. Mr. Russell, may I present my daughter, Mary? It's a great pleasure. You've brought a great miracle, Mr. Russell. A great miracle. You must be a very holy man. Miracle? Holy? Mary, my dear, it grows late. Perhaps a. But, Father, this is such a special day.  I only came back to ask if I might stay and watch a little longer. Please? Perhaps a little longer. Oh, Father. Run along now. Oh, may I walk with you? Well, sure. Sounds like a fine idea. I think not, my dear. We have things to discuss. Run along now. Oh, all right. God be with you, Mr. Russell. Same to you. Look, Doc, I was confused before, but now. I can imagine what you must feel, Mr. Russell. Some explanation is in order. Some? More than 30 years ago, I came to this island in almost the same manner you did. I was a young doctor going home to China after studying in the United States. The ship on which I was traveling sank in a storm. I have no memory of arriving here. They found my boat grounded on the beach one morning, and I alone survived. At that time, there was a custom on merchant ships. Each lifeboat contained in its ration chest a quantity of tobacco and a copy of the Bible, the New Testament I read and reread during my convalescence. Just while I was reading it, that my answer came to me. I knew how I might repay these people. How? How was that?  I resolved to give them something I'd come to value even more, faith. Now, that's given nothing for something. Even then, they were a people rich in charity. A charitable soul is fertile ground, Mr. Russell. Yeah, I suppose. They had even learned English that they might read the book themselves. To these people, Christianity is not a religion. It is a way of life which, Mr. Russell, is the way it should be.  I'm not trying to change your thinking, Mr. Russell. We are nearing the village, so I will say only this. You have been the instrument of a miracle for which we have all prayed for a long time. As such, you are an honored guest here. Be honorable, Mr. Russell. Their souls are the souls of children, full and happy. I only ask that you do not show them the emptiness, the sadness of your own. I knew what he meant when we walked through the village, because wherever I looked, the people were happy and laughing with each other very much like kids at a game. And then I saw what they were doing. These people are taking my plane apart. Will you have any further need of it? Wherever I looked, the people were working on parts of my plane, breaking it down into parts of steel and aluminum. There was an old lady separating threads of nylon from insulation and rolling it on a spool. A young man and a girl who could have been his wife taking the copper wire off one of the radio's transformers like they might have taken yarn off a skein. I watched an old man disassemble my turn and bank indicator using his teeth for pliers while his wife separated the strands of my control cables. I think everyone in the village was working. And wherever we stopped to watch, the people would stop. And they would smile and thank me for my part in it. And sometimes they would ask me to remember them to God. Sometimes they would tell me their names and ask me to tell God they were grateful. And sometimes, especially with the older people, they'd smile and their eyes would fill with tears and they wouldn't be able to speak at all. When we got to the end of the village, an old man approached us. The doctor introduced him as Philip. This man is the oldest here, Mr. Russell. He has something for you. It is nothing. The place to rest, I offer you my house. Your house? I don't know what to say, sir. Look, if I take your house, where will you sleep? I have many children. Oh, no, sir. I can't do it. Perhaps it is not good enough. No, no. It's fine. Fine. I could gather my children and build a big... Oh, no, sir. It'll be fine, really. I couldn't ask for anything better. Thank you. My thanks to you. I'm a little tired now, if you don't mind, sir. Of course. You will remember me to our creator. Oh, sure thing. Happy to. Good night. God be with you. That's what I meant. God be with you, sir. Doc. Doc, can I have a word with you? Thank you. For what? For being an honorable guest thus far. Come on inside, will you? Well? What's going on? Don't you know? What do you mean, don't I know? Those people out there taking my plane apart, piece by piece, thankin' me, treatin' me like an angel sent from... from some... some deity you've got him believin' in. You don't believe he exists? Let's not go into that.  Now, Doc, now, I don't know what to believe. Oh, when I was younger, I had faith. Nothing else, but I had faith. I knew my scripture and I used to pray for things, too. I did. I prayed to meet the right girl. Nothing. I prayed to pass the bar examination, missed by one percent. I prayed the reserve wouldn't call my number. Nothing. Perhaps you were not ready for these things. Ah, please knock it off, Doc. I lost my faith in good riddance. Perhaps your faith is not lost, but only buried under disappointment, which comes easily to the young. Mr. Russell, the people on this island must fish and hunt until the soil to live. At one time, there was flint on the island, but has all long been used up. But few hunting tools we have left are generations old and constantly in use.  I don't follow you, Doc. They prayed, Mr. Russell. They prayed and have been praying for a long time for a miracle. God has given it to them. Now, wait a minute. You mean me? Your aeroplane will provide enough raw material to last 100 years, Mr. Russell. There is nothing these people need that they cannot make now, thanks to your aircraft. An accident. A miracle. Perhaps two miracles and a great gift. How do you figure? If you had gone down in that sea, you would have died. Yeah, that's likely. That's your second miracle? Where's the great gift routine? It could be the means of finding your faith again. A man who flies through the sky should be close to its creator. Nuts. Pardon me. Those people out there, they think I came directly from God. Directly or indirectly, it makes no difference. I came to save my own skin, Doc, because something just happened to go wrong with my plane. That's a fact. Fact? Are you sure, Mr. Russell? Are you very sure it just happened? It took me a long time to get to sleep that night. I kept telling myself it was because of the strange surroundings, because my neck and shoulders still hurt, or because I'd slept too long after the accident. But every time I'd think of the slight ache in my neck and shoulders or of the accident, I'd start wondering if it really had been an accident. And then when I got to sleep, a little before daybreak, I had a dream. I was flying through an empty sky, and suddenly a bird flew into my intake and my plane went down, but there was no island. No island, just the sea, the cold, green sea. I woke up in a cold sweat. I'd given almost anything then for a cup of coffee. But I took what the villagers gave me instead, some fruit I'd never seen before and some cooked fish. And then Mary, the Doc's daughter, came for me. She was as excited as a kid with a brand new scooter. She insisted I take a walk with her. She took me down toward the beach. Most of the people followed us. Hey, wait a minute. I got a bad knee, remember? Oh, I'm sorry. Does it pain you? No, no, but it could. Oh, come, you must see what they've been doing. They were working by firelight most of the time. Working at what by firelight? You will see, you will see. I won't see quite as soon as you'd like. A little slower, please. The doctor said you were his daughter. I am his daughter. Oh, no, no, no, look, look, can you see it? A raft. It's a raft. And look at the people. Well, everyone in the island must have turned out. I hope you will not think we are eager to see you leave, Mr. Russell. It does seem a little that way. When you were at my home, while you slept, you spoke of a search for you. But your friends would be seeking you. They would be distressed if they do not find you. But on the island, they... Mr. Russell, you and I are the only ones who ever found this island. They will not find you here, but you will be found. I wish you could stay with us. We will meet again someday, Mr. Russell. We will. I'd like to stay. I'd like to know all of you. And perhaps someday I will. I mean to come back to this island. I do hope so. But I think not. We have what we prayed for, Mr. Russell. And you have your miracle and your gift. Yeah, I guess so, Doc. I guess so. You asked for scrap, and I turned a million-dollar airplane to scrap in your backyard. And it sure wasn't my idea. I called for help, and body and soul got another chance. But, Doc, I'll see you again. I'm going to try to come back. God be with you, Mr. Russell. The doc gave me the compass out of the plane, and I got on the raft with the provisions they'd put on board. Oh, they'd done things in wonderful style, sunshelter out of leaves, pots full of water, fruit, just about everything a man could ask for. Well, I'm a little vague, Ernie, about how long I spent on that raft. I don't think it was more in a couple of days, and you guys picked me up. Yeah, and we picked you up. You know the rest. You got your faith back, Russ? I'm pretty sure I have, Ernie. Russ, you ever hear the expression, the instruments of God are strange? Yeah. That he, meaning God, might use a man's own mind as an instrument? What are you trying to say? When did you last see this seaplane? At, uh, at Okinawa. At the exercises doing rec photo work. You know why the carrier didn't hear your call? My radio was working perfectly. Your call was lost in combat directions for the war games. So I forgot to change frequencies. So what? Somebody heard me, or there wouldn't have been a search? Sure. We heard you because we were nearby, on our way back from the war games. There wasn't any island, Russ. There wasn't any island? You nuts. We heard you go down on your own radio, and we got you out of the water less than an hour after you went in. There wasn't any island, Russ. Sorry. Ernie. Yeah? There was an island, all right. Maybe there isn't one now, but there was one. Gone now? Sure. I don't need it anymore. That's right. Well, I'd better get back up front. See you later. Right. Oh, oh Ernie. Yeah? God be with you. This is Gigi Perot again. In the program you just heard, the doctor spoke of the Bible, which the merchant mariners included among the things in the survival stores of a lifeboat. And in a way, we do the same thing. Relegate the things of God to our survival stores, and then only bring them out when we're in trouble. It's, well, it's a little like storing away food and only eating when it looks like we're about ready to die of starvation. That too would be a very bad idea. No one could stay healthy with a practice like that. Eating at regular intervals, keeping the body supplied with its needs is just common sense. Family theater recommends daily prayer as a means of keeping spiritual health or against spiritual starvation. And we recommend family prayer each day as a means of keeping the families of the world healthy and rich in God's love and His blessings. For through family prayer, you can actually bring God in your family. He promised it when he said, whenever two or three are gathered in my name, there will I be also. Prayer does not belong in a survival kit. It belongs in use among the members of a family for still another reason. The family that prays together stays together.  But Family Theater has brought you transcribed survival mechanisms starring Cameron Mitchell and featuring Philip Ah. Gigi Perot was your hostess. Others in our cast were John Stevenson, Barney Phillips, Lance Avatt, and Jill St. John. The script was written and directed for Family Theater by Robert Hugh O'Sullivan, with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. This series of Family Theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program by the mutual network, which has responded to this need and by hundreds of stars of stage, screen, and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our Family Theater stage.   Join us, won't you? Family Theater is broadcast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is Mutual, the radio network for all America.