My live audience with UFC superstar Padi Rebadi on 7 January in Lluverpool is now available on Skiddle. Padi will be doing his first live audience and what a night we have planned. We have a meeting greet and photo opportunity with Padi, you also can get to ask Padi some questions. We've also got special guests appearing. This is going to be a night not to be missed, and what a way to start off the new year. See you all soon. You can now follow me on all my social media platforms to find out who my latest guest will be and don't forget to click the subscribe button and the notifications bell so you are notified for when my next podcast goes live. I used to have so many registration plates in my head of cash-in-transits like doing deliveries at petrol stations or filling up ATM machines at different locations. I used to have sleepless nights thinking that's going to be there on Wednesday. I know it's a crazy story like having my brother shot and being in prison for such a long time but to me it was kind of normal. Where I'm around so many people like that who's been in prison for like 20 years and doing 30 year sentences it felt kind of normal. The first six weeks of being out I kind of wanted to go straight back in. It was nice, don't get me wrong it's so nice to be out and physically be able to call to my daughter. But I was thinking this is pretty odd out here to do 70 year sentences and to come out in debt. It wasn't great was it? To me I should have been there. I was committing on rubbery ways. Some people were doing like stabbings or shootings and you can blatantly tell they didn't want to be part of that. Some of them wasn't even the person who pulled the trigger. They didn't want to be there. Bum marwain! End of get back. Where's Clark? How about it? Back again man. Nice to see you man. Good to see you bro. First podcast. Nearly quarter of a million views. Phenomenal. Mad story. Form a bank robber. Change your life. Your dad's in prison. But you're out. Try to do the right things now. You've got your own YouTube channel which will plug straight away with that. Bigloo Jimboz. Also Instagram Bigloo Jimboz. How are you dealing with that? The kind of limelight social media side of things. Do you know what I just need to say? I thank you to a lot of people who reached out after the podcast with you. Loads of nice messages. Work wise. Come and work with me. Is there anything I can do. So to everyone who sent me their messages. I appreciate all of you. I think people see you are a good guy. We've remained friends. That's the important thing. These platforms can give people a leg up to create a better life for themselves.  It's difficult out there. What we want to do is survive. As you can tell I put on a bit of weight mates. I can see what is happening there mate. That's a proper bit of pudding there mate. It's cool that I'm Scotland mate. All I do is do a podcast and then go home and eat. I can say. But how are you dealing with the kind of life outside of prison? Do you know what I've been out a year next month? I'm still adjusting to things. My life's getting a lot more easier. I know which direction I want to go in at now. The relationship with my daughter was building up. We've been doing a bit of shopping together. I'm messing about. She's in secondary school now. Things are proper looking up for me. I'm really starting to enjoy life again.  Yeah I was and I wasn't because I know it's a crazy story having my brother shot and being in prison for such a long time but to me it was kind of normal where I'm around so many people like that who's been in prison for 20 years and doing 30 year sentences. I felt kind of normal. It's nothing to people that are reaching out to me and thinking oh my God. People actually care about me and that gave me a little bit more motivation to want to do better with myself. How's your dad getting on? He's doing so well now. He's life's going to change. I just know it. He's such a character and I'm looking forward to having him back home again. I want to use on the platforms as well.  I know we can laugh and joke but it's still mad to think that that happened. We've actually had a little talk about it and I promise you if we do we'll be on with you first. What about possibly getting a book out for the future? Definitely. I don't want to give away too many titles just in case I'm a nixie. I've got a few little headlines in my head I want to use. Is this down to dad really? I see out what he wants to do because he's quite a private man as well. How's your dad? Obviously he's been active for many years but how's it feeling this time about getting out? You going to see big changes? Do you think he could bend up back and save? I think my dad's out now. He's been doing open conditions and he's been he works every single day outside the prison grafting his ars of driving around forklifts and he seems like he's enjoying it. I think he just wants a peaceful life now and if we can get a little book out together and he can see the rewards and things now I think he might want to change and I want to see him do a podcast because he's got so much better stories than me to tell on that you know and he's such a funny man so I'd love to get him on here. How's it adjusting like you've been out a year now like I know you're saying it's still finding your ways but have you adjusted quicker than you thought? Yeah, I think I have like I said it'll be a year next month I love London Transport for some reason I'm not driving at the minute I've been booting around in my Mrs's car every now and again but I've been taking London Transport so I'm just jumping on the train from here to there and getting buses everywhere I actually enjoy it I've actually had a few people sitting next to me on the train and said oh Lou, I'll see you on a podcast and it's quite nice to have conversations with random people on the trains and that now It's mad, doesn't it? It's mad, doesn't it? Because of his podcast and how stories can get out there then people can look for inspiration even though people have done wrong in life you can also learn so much from that for people not to make the same mistakes for people then to go do you know what he has a good guy because if you go to a job they look at your record, you're not getting a job I'll tell you what as well I've been on a few jobs proper jobs by the way legit jobs so some fellas got hold of me on Instagram he's took me on a roofing job cleaning roof tiles the algae and the green stuff of it working's pretty hard isn't it mate he had some long pole with some jets coming off the top getting this algae off the roofs and that but he's gone to the top of the ladder I meant to be holding the bottom of the ladder for him I've took my foot off it for one second the ladder's come straight down yet he's landed straight on his back I was trying not to laugh he's landed on the floor but shout out Steve for that I appreciate that day so that was hard work half seven in the morning we've done a bit of a dodgy job to be honest we didn't get back to that and he kept doing messing up so better come back get some more bleach and stuff to bleach the tiles so I've done a day with him then I've done a couple of house clearances what else have I done I've done cleaning a patio I was doing some couples patio with the jet washers anyway he's like don't go too close with it cos it will take up the thing as soon as he said that I've gone too close and it's ripped a bit of the patio off a bit of it's come straight off I was trying to plug it straight, pushing it straight back in the floor on that and he said Lou did you do that? I said nah it's already there so apart from now I've been trying to concentrate on my youtube stuff cos I feel I've got somewhere to take you and I've got a good concept I just need to get a little bit more confidence a little bit put a bit more thought into it cos I know it can actually happen and that's what really what I want to do I really want to get my youtube stuff on the go and hopefully get a book out for next year as well but like you say you're just adjusting so many years in prison all the shit that you've done to then it's like both totally night and day to try and make an honest living to be cleaning up ladders to be fucking jet washing and part of your mind we're thinking this is so hard for to do whatever it is you get and you're thinking secure the cord drive it's easier they seem to be absolutely everywhere at the minute it is a test sometimes I walk past and I see them loading up at an ATM machine or walking into a bank and I'm sure you lot are doing this on purpose now but I'll be honest it's not crossed my mind once to grab one of them cassettes and go it's not crossed my mind once cos I miss his build of money double treble now the money's there but I don't want no part of it anymore I can actually see doors opening for me and I can see opportunities there do you know what doing these podcasts has really put a lot of confidence back into me and that you know I've got so much better in front of the cameras, so much better at talking to people I believe next year is going to be a pretty good year for me best year of your life possibly when you're in prison you're thinking man I'm just going to go straight active again but then to come out and really go for it and that's just for anybody watching that people can change your inspiration to be then staying solid because it's fucking hard to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it to do it staying solid because it's fucking hard out there it's hard to survive, it's hard to put food on the table but how good do you feel with just okay knuckling down and going for it and that belief system, the belief is important cos what you believe you certainly can achieve as cheesy as that is, it's so important to believe that but how do you feel within that you've stood your ground you've been out a year and you keep chipping away to then preparing yourself for bigger things basically yeah so when I was away I used to write down all my little ideas and my goals and set myself targets I've actually achieved everything within my first year what I've put down, what I want to get done so it's about setting goals and hitting your targets so I need to get some new targets and that written down for next year now anyone who else is watching this please if you're getting released from prison just make sure you've got some goals and that ready make sure you have a plan come out with a plan, don't just come out don't know what you're going to do you need to know what you can be doing before you get released so when you're what was your thought process coming out at prison for your last time from this sentence coming out, the first six weeks of being out I kind of wanted to go straight back in that was, it was nice don't get me wrong it was so nice to be out and physically be able to call to my daughter but I was thinking this is pretty odd out here my routine started slipping away getting up at half six in the morning getting my free flow out of the way at half eight getting back for 12 o'clock I started losing a bit of routine that's one thing I did actually like about prison and put me in routine but I'm back on it now getting up early, getting to the gym getting work done and I've been up and down I've been up and down in the UK with a fella called Silky he's on tour at the minute he does a lot of house music so I've been up and down touring with him he's got Silky so you're keeping busy you're connecting now to bigger names more positive names legit money do you ever wake up and think what the fuck is this about why did I not choose this path sooner I've messed up man I've messed up, there's so many opportunities there's so many opportunities out there and you just got to keep knocking at these doors you're going to get turned away from three or four doors but please believe the fifth or sixth door is going to open for you you've just got to be consistent with what you want to do and just keep knocking on these doors they will open, I promise you has anybody ever came forward and tried to get you back into the old leaf though I've had one or two people said Lou, you fancy this and I said definitely not and it's pretty easy for me to walk away from that sort of life I still see a lot of people I've grew up with who's still involved with certain things but I love them from a distance now it's not like I turn my back on them I still see them say hello still care about them but I'm on a different path to what they run do you feel as if they could turn on you because they feel as if you've turned on them no, they fully respect what I'm doing see that's a good thing that's important because a lot of people feel peer pressure but they feel as if I've not turned my back against you I'll show you and before you know it they'll stop back into life and you're doing another big stretch do you know what I mean one good thing is my circles got smaller which is a lot easier whereas before I went to prison I found myself helping so many people out now there's literally about six people around me genuine people they've all been helping me out on that as well giving me motivation how you sleep lately? I had a terrible sleep last night so I'm in a shared accommodation at the minute and this geezer next door to me he's got mental health problems bless him but last week he was standing naked outside my house and it's raining he's got his willy out and last night he was having a great time he sounded like he was having a party and then the fellow is living above me all he can do is his footsteps so I've got to sleep about five in the morning so I had a couple hours sleep today cos I know you struggled with sleeping that back now my sleep is getting better that was a rubbish sleep last night how's the shared accommodation and stuff? it's not great I've been in there seven months in a mapper hostel and I've been in there about seven months now so I'm waiting for an opponent house how long have you got to do? six months? twelve months? yes, six to twelve months in the temporary and then surely I should get an opponent maybe after Christmas but you're hustling it out mate you know how easy it is to get sucked back into crime when you're struggling but you're more confident now than you were the first time because you believe I can see it now is that for you? because at the start it's hard to see things when there's so much darkness so much clouds, so much negativity the pain of the past when these clouds started moving how good I feel was that? it's wicked, it's just getting things done one at a time at first there's so many clouds this in my way I can't see nothing right now but I've been out a year now and things are slowly opening up for me and you know I had a lot of people messaging me on Instagram a few from Scotland shout out to the Scots a lot of people suffering from mental health and that is and thank you for your story but you're still checking with each other on Instagram give them a little message whenever I can sometimes I can't get back to all of them but I'll get back to as many as I can so I'm glad they reach out you can reach out whenever you want as well just don't fill up my DMs please it's hard though because everybody's always because people watch these things truly are engrossed in what people's got to say that's when you know the world's a good place as well I know a lot of people we hear a lot of badness on the news and the radio but people genuinely care that if bad things happen the first thing a human being wants to do majority of the time is help so if you're tearing your story and people go ah you know what, I like him, there's an opportunity it's all down to the individual I says to you when you first come on the podcast and you're going to get a big wave of people and then it kind of dies down, it kind of fizzles but thankfully you're on again you've got your own show on YouTube but you've got Danny Simpson coming on oh it's shout out to Danny Simpson absolutely nutter I say to Danny every time he's on the podcast I agree with absolutely nothing he does but there's something about him he's got I don't know, it's hard to explain he's got character but I says on the podcast just there with Danny I would never need him for anything but if I ever did he'd be down the heartbeat he's actually that person even just seeing him there a minute guys nice to see him as well we've got a little gym workout ready for next week make sure you're ready Dan what do you think when your dad will come out do you think he'll adapt easier because he's open home leaves he's been out on home leaves and he works outside the prison he's going to be absolutely fine he can do either or he's built for prison a lot more to being outside obviously back in the day you were involved I know the title of the last one gang leader I know you didn't like that but it's clickbait titles and you were properly involved you've done a lot of shit you were involved with big names and a lot of the friends around prison thankfully you're still here but how hard is it to cut away from that gang culture so like I said I still see a lot of my old friends today and I'm just going to love them from a distance and they all respect me enough now to know I'm not going to get back involved with all of that you know and even after the last podcast someone from the other side who we used to have dramas with growing up said like I really respect what you've done on this podcast and that and this is someone we used to have a lot of trouble with growing up so we exchanged a few messages and we just left it there but not friends or nothing but if there's something we've got left there it's dead now you know that's a good thing man it's wicked as Api actually reached out I'm not going to say his name but Api reached out and we kind of lifted there I've seen a few other people and I used to have trouble with from Brixton and that and we're all at the majors now we look at each other's technology each other and don't have to be friends we just keep it moving I think anybody with a common sense though that can see you get older first of all but you can also see that they're making a change a lot of people don't change as well and a lot of people still have that anger or frustration from the past and don't really let go of grudges but it just ends up killing your own soul nobody wins just fucking each you alive it's proper it's absolutely tiring man I've got loads of friends still doing 20s and 30s one of my friends got released last week he went prison 2000 he's done 22 years he's done 7 years of that in isolation I'm hoping to get him on air soon he's got a great story so hopefully we get him on air soon but he's changed his life around as well he's trying to do something different and even after doing 22 years you realise it's so long your family's missed you and no one wins Seem you're in that life of crime and you feel as if it's normal for many years of your life Seem you come out and you step back you look and start questioning everything does it make you sad in a way what you think fuck me you've not wasted your life because you wouldn't be getting the things you're getting now if you've never done the shit that you've done so you can't really have much regret but do you question it now and think if only I had somebody to guide me better because you're not daft man you're a very likable character but it's just sad that people it's all to do with guidance but do you question how far you could have been had that guidance on your teens yeah I was pretty good at football and boxing growing up to be fair if I stuck up one of them I'm pretty sure I'd have been either or I don't have a lot of confidence growing up and like I said Dad's been in prison majority of my life anyway so I had my mum to look up to really whereas kinda needed more of my dad there but it's not too late I'm 36 now it's not too late so I'm going to make it happen over the next 5 years I'm going to get busy Do you think it's because your dad wasn't there that the confidence comes as well Do you know what I can't even blame my dad for all of that because I don't know where I was going to be because even my friend group used to do robberies or sell drugs so was I always going to go into selling drugs or doing robberies because all my friends did or did I follow in my dad's footsteps I think I was always going to be around that sort of stuff I don't know on one of hershaws Bounce? What fighting?  Mum's great she literally lives five minutes down the road she's sweet as she's probably watching Old Emmerdale or something like that does she watch your podcast? yeah she does watch it she really enjoyed she done a little sit down with me for my little youtube channel as well I spoke to her mum I said I'm sorry for what I put you through and I was like what did you what did I put you through she let the stress, depression like I mentioned she went to a mental hospital for a little while and she's come out of the other side of it I said mum I love you and she just says I'm proud of what you're doing and stuff how hard does that Lou when you think about that and it's the effects of that what's happening to family what's that with the shape that we do yeah now do you know what is it the biggest reason why I do these podcasts as well as it's helping me on my youtube channel and instagram and stuff I'm just hoping it reaches to some of the youngsters I don't want people to just think I'm just doing it just to get my face out there which is helping me for what I want to do but at the same time I'm trying to reach out to a few of the youngsters just so they see a bit of sense when you're in prison how many different prisons were you in again? over 10 what was the worst one? probably a young offenders called Portland back in 2005 that was absolute chaos that was Belmarsh yeah probably Portland and Belmarsh have any of the screws up I came forward and spoke to you yet? oh yeah a few of them have messaged me on instagram I'm not going to say their names and get them in trouble but yeah one of them is from Scotland so yeah she reached out said she's proud of that and yeah a few of them have it's nice because I've actually gone with some of the screws some of them are wankers but some of them are actually alright and they want to help you what about your own training now? because you are very big on training I've got a bit of a dodgy shoulder I've been seeing like chiropractors and getting sports massages like training and working out it's my only hobby and I've not been able to do that since I've come out of prison I've been getting in the gym like once every couple weeks and this shoulder problem just don't seem to be gone away how does that fuck with your mental health though? it ruins me it's my only hobby it's the only thing I enjoy doing so at a minute I'll literally just go for walks and runs what were you at your biggest? 17 stone I was lifting some mental weights I used to squat 200 kilos bench press 180 kilos I was massive my arms were like 8.5 inches I'm only like 14 now I was just under 14 that is a load of porridge loading up on porridge every day what do you eat now? I'm still eating the same food because I enjoy eating tunas and crackers or tunas and couscous the misses have been cooking a lot more so I'm grateful for that but I'm still eating things like mackerel mackerel and toast I bang that at least 3-4 times a day still pot noodles pot noodles oudies despite you just get your noodles quick source of protein and you're ready for your day again so you've never really come out that? I'm still stuck in it and I don't mind the food I actually still enjoy eating tunas my missus had a guy at me the other day because I had mackerel on toast for breakfast she's come to give me a cuddle and she's like you stink of mackerel how's your admissies in that dealing with it you coming out making changes staying on a path that you find that's a benefit having some support no, she's very supportive and she always says she's proud of me I think she even messaged me this morning saying she's proud of what I'm doing and things are just looking up for us that was the last thing you claimed I feel I watched a film with a missus not so long ago I can't even say it I can't remember what film it was now it's pretty sad though it's a sad film I don't even know I can't even think about it now but me and her looked to each other and I was like because you seem more emotional today but in a good way you seem freer, lighter I feel like I'm coming out of myself a bit more I don't feel so closed off anymore like before I was in two minds with the come on and tell my story now I just feel open I enjoy talking to yourself even we talk on whatsapp and stuff it's this nice amount of people that reached out to me I just feel so appreciated do you feel as if you're coming into your true self and who you should have been when you were a kid where you don't need to put on the privado and do the bad things to try and pretend that you're okay basically that's exactly it growing up I used to be this person I wasn't I was a very very angry person now I'm just like I like being silly I've got my serious side when I need to be but majority I like to be silly and people have a good laugh because it's a lot of laughter mate it's all about laughter and it gets you through your day don't it because obviously I see your old prison videos and you seem to put up for the crack and just fucking have a laugh did that get you through your sentence I swear to god in prison I used to make the prison hooch I used to get pretty good at it so every cell mate I had I would make sure we have a party that following week I would get the hooch on the go and we'll have some crazy parties and stuff or we'll have little work at one time I got the whole wing drunk at least 15 litres of hooch one day I need the video because I had the whole wing going absolutely crazy I gave everyone a litre of hooch each for Christmas the whole wing was jumping going absolutely mental How did you make the prison hooch? I used to get like the bread we used to have to soak it in the water extract the yeast from it put the sugar in it let it cook over I started getting really good at it but the hangovers from that are mental you'll be hanging for a good 3-4 days at the prison hooch at the time it felt wicked we're having a sick day out today did you not put potatoes on that? no, no people use potato skins I never used to use potato skins but I used to get some little sachets my friend Thomas called champagne yeast he literally just poured it into a tropical juice and left it for a week and it used to turn the tropical juice into alcohol but he used to sell that for like 20 quid a little sachet so your friends treat you the ones that are doing leafels are they happy for you as well? I was still in contact with the genuine ones still like sending them letters and stuff or if they want some advice because some of them want to come and do podcasts and they want to change their lifestyle and that around as well so they just ask and advice one of them come out the other day and finish to 14 life sentence hopefully get some one soon as well I think I'm going into school next week I'm not sure what the school is yet I'm waiting for the information to come back in the next day or so but I'm going into school next week to do my first talk I can see you doing that the more you do these talks the more you're out there everything's just to do with consistency the confidence grows you'll be setting in 2-3 years time thinking fuck me what a journey I had a moment I'm in a little boxing gym they help with a lot of youngsters for our own estate so I talked to quite a lot of them now I play a little mentoring role so next week I've got them all lined up for a workout in the gym we're going to do a little podcast a couple of the old a lot have a little discussion then I'm going to put them through their paces so I want to do a lot more of that stuff for them you see a lot of yourself and a lot of these younger kids some of them are really some of them ain't got no manners whatsoever they're really bad but there's a few of them I do see myself in and like me they're lacking confidence they don't see that those possibly could be opening for them so I'm only trying to help them see that do you think that's what all comes down to not having the confidence to believe that you're good enough to do these sort of things because having the little boys just attitudes it's all enact it's all enact do you see their faces the other day I brought hard hitters UK down to the boxing gym it's a little punch machine that goes around the UK they keep asking for you as well actually I brought them down to boxing gym and if you see all the little kids' faces light up and it's like a little day out for them and it really made my day just to see them all smile so if I can just go down there once a week and just do some sort of circuit with them give them a good little talk into feel like I've achieved something have you got yourself a 5 year plan like you're planning for the future or are you only planning day by day I've been planning day by day I've finished all my goals and I've set from prison I've done I've accomplished so I'm going to set some new ones within the next couple weeks for the next year start getting things in place again it's a good thing man to be here again and just the things that have happened over just what I asked for 5 months was it dry? and just kept going but like you say it's just putting yourself outside that comfort zone and then you go fuck me like that wasn't as bad as it was it wasn't as bad when I thought what have I done and then when I started to see it I was dreading looking through my DMs and getting looking at the messages and that the worst thing I'd say to anyone doing podcasts don't read back your messages lads don't go back on NSU who's writ what that's the hard thing but again it's 99% love it was I've got a lot of support from that and I didn't go through all the message but some of them I replied back to that's how I support on that as well I appreciate you look man but people like I said Ella people genuinely care me especially for people everybody loves that bad boy end of the day you are proper back today still be proper now if anybody is step forward but that's life and people respect that people respect somebody that's lived their life you got this and that and fucking daft I got a lot of people on here talk pure shit just let them talk shit it's not my job to confront our challenge it's not my job just to guide our story but you're proper man you're well like and well respected and you're trying to make changes so for anybody that's watching to try and maybe give you a helping hand like come forward with all your social media platforms on that yeah so my instagram is bigluegymbars that's doing alright I'm at 14k now so the numbers have been creeping up and YouTube's bigluegymbars I've got a lot more content to come out I've got a lot of ex-offenders going to be done I've done a few already I've not released anything yet I've got a lot of ex-offenders taking part little quick interviews, quick 15 minute interviews 15 minute circuits and they've been nominating the next person to go next but that's all it is man it's just consistency and chatting them away and having people real live stories and I believe fitness is a key to any sort of great mental health and belief system like mine's just slept to now but I still feel good to me we've got to sort this out mate what are you doing next week I'm down mate what do you want to do we're going down to our gym mate we need to make this happen I'm not having you walking around like that this time of year mate for the last 15 years something happens to me and I go fuck it it's like a 6 week, 8 week blowout and in January I'll sort it for 6 weeks, 8 weeks, I'm back on the path again until I hit Christmas as it excuses me I'm looking forward to Christmas guys see in prison did people put on me at Christmas it's a chocolate not really nothing changed nothing changed, not much we all had the same diet but that's the best meal of the year in prison the turkey the turkey and the little bacon sausage all the muslin boys they gave me all their pigs in blankets so shout out to you boys cos I enjoyed them mate that sounds like a question but do you mind saying anything about being in prison I get sad when I think about some of my friends who are still in there I do miss the conversations we have there's a lot of them who's come out now and we used to have these discussions what we're going to do when we leave prison and the genuine ones have all stuck to what they wanted to do like myself, a few of them have messaged me the other day saying you said you was going to do all of this and you've done it just want to say I'm proud of you but then you get a lot of fucking shit talkers as well they've gone back to doing what they're doing and some of them have gone back to prison within a few months I've done pretty well I've been out a year now last time I've done, I think it was six weeks or something and I went back to prison for setting weed so I've done pretty well this time that's the longest you've been out the longest was 2009-13 four years but now you've matured a lot you've came a long way now and it's seen the light and how are you dealing with your negative days? negative days I'll just tell myself we're all going to get these negative days they come and go it's just making me a stronger person and when I'm feeling down like that I know I'm going to snap out of it within a day or so so I'll just tell myself it's not going to last forever how are you dealing with the pushing through the darker days longer than the positives are you more positive and just believing I'm so positive and I just believe so much in what I'm going to do and stuff where I can see things happening now most of my days are just positive I'm really looking forward to next year because I just feel something big is happening I know it is big things have happened that you've learnt that make you sad as well when you see what it can be like just living a normal life but a peaceful life I appreciate everything to my friend today walking through the park looking at these trees I appreciate that tree just being there walking along the river Thames I see a seal on the river Thames I thought it was a little blue staff so I'm walking down the Thames a little seal pops his head I thought it was a staff in the Thames I wasn't going to jump because it was freezing that day but I wanted to jump in and try and save it and then it's not until I see him go back under and come back up and it was a seal I wish I'd take talk for people to get involved my TikTok is I think it's big blue gym bars as well I'm not that active on there but I need to start getting busy on there I've been making little skits, little funny videos on that they're doing pretty well actually on my YouTube channel as well I'm just like re-enacting certain situations what have happened in the past but trying to make a positive out of them as well like the one I've done the other day was about I was peer-pressing another little kid to go and do a shooting but I kept having little subtitles come up during the little film saying it's not too late to turn back now saying no and then I'll keep tapping it just you're going to shoot him you're not going to do it and you're going to shoot him he ends up being the one who gets arrested and I get away and these times he's the one who didn't even want to do it in the first place so I started up on my YouTube channel and it's not got crazy views but people they like that sort of content Do you feel as if that's real life that happens on real life? A lot of people who are doing these life sentences they don't even want to do it in the first place and it's the ones who did want to do it then they get they're at home If you see a lot of our friends unpleasant they shouldn't be there There's a lot of kids I shouldn't say kids there's even people my age in prison I'm thinking you shouldn't even be here you can tell you're actually a good person me I should have been there I was committing arm-rubbery whereas some people were doing stabs or shootings and they didn't want to be part of that some of them wasn't even the person who pulled the trigger but you're seeing you're working on your confidence but to do an arm-rubber you've got to have the most confidence out of anybody James I'd be honest I'd look forward to it I'd think that one's going to have 40 grand in that one or that one's going to have 25 in that one let me get them on the third or fourth run you start having sleepless nights I used to have so many registration plates in my head of cash-in-transits like deliveries at petrol stations or filling up ATM machines at different locations I used to have sleepless nights thinking that's going to be there on Wednesday I can do that one Friday morning if that one doesn't turn up How long would you take it? It's gone cold with the money Did you save? I would just love it in a high life James see with this one it was a cash-in-transit rubber you know you take the cassette when you're filling up so there's filling up an ATM machine usually they hold about 100 grand in I've took the last cassette which contained 45,000 but I've taken the cassette and obviously a set off the money is covered in die I've got out of 45 I've got about 3 grand out of it so I don't get much money from it anyway and what happened after that I've got an extra year of prison for that money for 45,000 so I've got a confiscation order for money that I didn't even get to spend anyway and I'm still paying it off now so I've paid off 18 grand and while I was in prison it gained £10,000 interest so at the moment even though me and my co-leys split the confiscation order 22 grand each I still owe them £16,000 so it went up £1.7 a day that I was in prison so the money you've stole it was done with ink you didn't use it but you still had to pay it back I've got 3 grand out of it there's no way to get them off not really it depends some notes were worse than others you can get them in sweet shops but it's just great I went caught for it the other day for the outstanding amount like I said I gave them £18,000 so I still had another £4,500 to give them but while I was in prison I got £11,000 or £10,000 interest I thought we can get that over time that's what I'm trying to talk to Slycer about in a minute I get paid £11 a week in prison to clean the wing I was either a wing cleaner or a jimboddly where I'll get £15 a week was that part of your sentence pay it back, get a list of sentences so I paid back £18,000 and that got me it got me like 10 months off my prison sentence or something like that so I had to phone a couple of lads listen, borrow me a couple of quid borrow me a couple of quid and I was like yeah of course so I got to £18,000 that's what got me out for a lot of Christmas because it would have been fucking cheap I would have done it 10 months I wanted to get up to my lads funeral my lads funeral was literally the next day I said lads you've got to be done that's why I've done it, yeah and the lads come through for me but I've still got to give them another £15,000 but at a minute I'll give them £20 a month so I told them that's all I can afford right now and they've accepted it so yeah but at least you're paying it back what's you there? were they inking them but there's not inking everyone how did they choose what they put in the inking so I'm a droid dymor I'm a droid dymor is that? yeah I'm a droid dymor so see when you're opening is there a ways to open them without busting the ink um there is ways in that yeah a lot of the youngsters they just come and grab them and smash them open with sledge hammers there probably are ways of opening them up in that how hard does that if you think you've done a good done you open it up with those old ink it's pretty devastating to be fair all of that to do a 70 year sentence and to come out in debt it wasn't great was it but I'm not even stressing it do you know what I'm not stressing it whatsoever I don't know if things are things are working out just fine for me do you have moments in your head when you think about that you've done us having stress you've not been paid and you end up having to pay back money back money that I haven't even got so the system gaining off you so the system are winning now they're winning from me now so I'm giving them money that I've not even got at a minute has that happened with a lot of people doing robbodies when I was in prison that was like when I was telling the lads I got a conversation order for it that's the first time I've heard of anyone to get a conversation order for one of them cash and transits I see some fellas got caught the other day on Google actually they got about 400 grand of money over a space of a year but I think they're going to get a hefty conversation order that's a lot I think there's about 12 codies though that's a lot who was the guy UFC fighter again Murray where did they do? I was aware of his codie I was aware of his codie Daverly who's the boys in the wheelchair? Paul is it Paul? Paul that's on point as well I think I've got him on my instagram now I think I've got him on my instagram now he's training well he's doing his thing so Lee Murray's codie Lee Murray has movies of a codie Lee they have a short stocky one I think he's got like a 20 year I think he's got a 30 year sentence to do 15 or something crazy like that he should be drew for his parole any day now and Lee Murray's still in Morocco he's still in Morocco man I don't think he's getting out it's a shame man you weigh it up in question but if somebody's got a turn there I think they had to leave containers they had to leave containers though it seemed like a good bit of work to begin with and then you start hearing how they found 5 million pounds there and 3 million pounds there then I think some woman's going to try and deposit money what ain't even been taken off the tags the tags ain't even been taken out of it seemed a bit messy after there was so much money they didn't know what to do with it after that there's too much though innit there's too much yeah I'd be alright if I have a million quid I'd be do you know what I mean sweet mate to set you up innit that set me all lovely but I don't stress about money as I used to anymore this is all going to come see when you see it all but he's in that in the papers and then you're like there's your eels per cup though have a little butcher to see what's going on in that but it doesn't excite me to make me thinking do you know I've got one more of me I've not thought that once do you think it's hard done though so many cameras there's so many cameras now and grasses yeah so why do you think there's so many fucking snitches now do you know what some people just grass for no reason there's nothing even innit for them yeah I think it's getting worse as we are innit that's why I thought an honest life is the best life and you hear it people saying it that they can sleep at night do you know what there's what I'd say here if people are from my sort of background if it's a straight girl somebody works a 9-5 and they don't live my sort of life and they grass you know I've got nothing against them that's their life that's how they live but if you're from my sort of background and you're grassing you are a proper rungant but if you're a 9-5 girl and you're just a straight girl and you grass I don't hold it I'll be pissed with them but that's their life that's the way they live they're not doing both how's your friends at an in-prison doing the big 20s 30s she's infected does she sleep or do they struggle with her mental health of the just accepted kinder that's her life they just need to deal with it they've just got theirself into a proper prison routine they've made prison their home I've got a few friends out in another two years they've got 19 wrecks they've both done come up to 17 years both for them now if they went away 06 or something like that so they're out in a couple years and they both seem headstrong and like I said my other pal came out last week he's just done a 22 but everybody's head strong especially for that mentality to come out in a fast paced noisy everybody want a PCA like do you think it's more draining out here actually as an in-prison yes very draining out here I find myself buying myself a lot even though I've got quite a lot of friends I'm always buying myself after here I'm going straight home whereas before I probably go and see who's on the estate and stuff now I'll just go straight home from here do you think it's safer though I'll be honest I still worry when I go home I know I've not done anyone wrong but sometimes when I get home in the evening and it's dark I'm thinking who's waiting there and I still take my time or I might still run my house twice before I go is that always a concern that's always a concern for me I don't think that will ever go no matter how I'm always confident at seeing you becoming what you're doing life because it's not just people enemies out there full stop it's just I don't see it in London though I don't see it it's hard obviously hear about it read about it but I've been everywhere and obviously listening you're always going to get some I'm also testurising that but it's still a fucking good place down here there's still a lot happening but there's a vibe about London the now man it's not sicky but there's something it's not a good vibe about it don't know what that is do you ever feel that I feel at home no it doesn't feel at home with me anymore see yourself moving I have to yeah I don't really live around London at the minute I'm out just on the outskirts so hopefully they keep me out there because I don't I literally I like coming London just to come and see my door and come back out again but it's a bad vibe round here it's not how I grew up I think it's got a lot worse I think it's everybody's out for themselves now young kids smashing car windows and stealing watches and there's a lot of watch threats what would you do if you've seen somebody doing that trying to rub something for their watch it's none of my business if it's a handbag or something I wouldn't have it I wouldn't let someone rub someone's handbag but all the watch threats and that I'm not getting involved is any of the young kids I've come forward to try and ask for advice I've tried to give a few of them advice and they all looked to me like just gave me that look especially when I first come out you lot can't be doing this anymore and then there's like how about they've been round our block and done this and so we need to go up there like one of my little friends lost their life the other day in Brixton and a delivery driver got shot also at the same time when I think he's on his moped or something no one wins man like I spoke to you I see his dad as well it's heart breaking to even look at his dad in the face who has it about us in Blackstone it's mad you've got Clapham Junction then you've got Battersea you've got Clapham, Brixton, Stockwell it's just like in this little circle it's like loads of little blocks a link top with each other and them two blocks will be for that block over there I'm just too old for all of that How did it make you feel when you see young kids losing their life? It makes me feel sad because one of them lost their life like a couple weeks ago I was with him the other day in the cafe I was swimming off there in the cafe I was asking him what's going on with the music you got any new music being released got on the news and someone's been shot Do you feel lucky about life yourself though? Yeah very lucky I've nearly been shot like five times I've been in very close encounters like my brother's been shot so I've been very close to like having one in my head How about your brother? I don't want to say it but he's in prison at the minute I don't think he's silly so he had his dog with him the police were trying to stop him when he's got his dog my brother said to the police let me tie my dog to the railing because he's going to go for you if you put your arms on me and the police kept coming forward one of them jumped to my brother and my dogs grabbed the police officer so they put him away for that Where's the dog? He's in the dog station Do you know what? He went caught the other day and even the judge said he wants the prosecution to re-look at the footage because he deems the dog as not vicious whereas he's on video camera and my brother said let me tie the dog up before you arrest me and he didn't allow him to do that so the judge was saying it looks like he's protecting his owner and he didn't give him another option So that's cool man Do you know what I'm saying? He's a lovely dog as well He's a lovely dog as well He's a half American bulldog something but he's got a really fat head on him really beautiful doggie he's really friendly but like I said the police are jumping on my brother so he's protecting his owner He's back in six He's in one's fat a minute man He's doing better as well because he come on camera the other day I've done a little documentary just walking around my estate and my brother's not really one for the camera I was like come and tell come and just say a few words on that on the camera about you being shot he comes in a few words he's done really well maybe out hopefully before Christmas anyway ah shape man he's good he's sweet as man I'll send him a couple of quid the other day How's he doing he gives me loads of motivation says he's proud of that as well we haven't had a sit down and actually spoke about when you got shot because we never had a sit down and spoke about how you fought because we don't get no help or nothing he didn't even get no help after that so we actually had that sit down and it was really nice he spoke about that when the first podcast they say that you needed that sit down actually did you just get emotional doing that yeah we did and he tries to hold it in I think we all do the one we all do like me and my brother always trample it it was nice to get it out of the way and to know how we both fought do you think that's why you feel lighter though Fria because you are speaking now about the mad shit that you never spoke about for so many years there's so many stories I didn't even go through there's loads of other shooters I forgot even to mention and stuff but obviously that's the main one where I've let it go my life's got a lot easier are you still getting jump if you hear like exhaust busting on motorbikes I still don't like bikes loud noises and keys jingling I always feel like the officers at my door are in prison how important that is to speak about your past you have to I really do believe just get everything out there once it's out it's out you can move on with your life it's sadden as well because I've got many friends up in Scotland in prison there's so many talents to do anything they wanted and I always say that you're not a bad person because you do bad shit you just caught up in that fucking loop where it just seems as if it's your only way out you've not got the confidence to make better changes I feel as if you're good enough to do that job because you look at other people and think that I couldn't do that you're just selling yourself short because you can do anything listen if you can do 10 stretch or 20 stretch in prison you can fucking do anything and that's the thing for the people need to believe man and I found prison was pretty easy for me if I didn't have my daughter I probably could have just sat in there you know but there's so much more so much more to life than prison how much do you become out of close because you have spent so many years in prison like when you you're kinda kept away from everything where when you came out you feel like it's calmer more peaceful when you are yourself even though you've got so much you can do it's so much easier just to be myself and and I just feel so light when I'm walking I was not walking with any weight on my shoulders I'm just enjoying walking down the roads things that seem so much clearer to me how about when people stop maybe one I thought or the watch speak to you about I'm all for it listen I'm all for it the other day I was at the train station this happens a few times that the fella on the other side oh hello big loo shouting out from the other side I'm just playing like oh yeah you're right mate sweet like maybe for really good cos there's a young lady there so she must be looking for you so it's quite nice people recognising me yesterday someone took a picture of me on the train he's into podcasts and that he said to be honest I've not watched anyone's podcast before I've not even watched I don't even watch my own ones back it's a mad life but and it may look where it comes from that people that can just have a discussion but the biggest things on Netflix and stuff is through crime people won't hear about it but even though some it's fiction this is real life this is a shit that goes on no matter who you are or what you are you can't escape from people's decision making and life what you can learn from is what they did from the past what they're doing now and how they made changes making changes is the greatest thing you can do in this world for the better that there's people on good paths that slip off and end up in a bad path there's people on bad paths that slip in and do have good paths like there's so many people struggling now with alcohol drugs and think that are not good enough there's many people caught up in violence and robberies and they think that's the only way there's other options there's other choices it's all down to you what you want to do and it can be hard especially if you're conditioned into a life where you think this is the only option it's not you've got many many options but it's about stepping back from that circle of life you're actually looking at the bigger picture and taking advice from people who's lived that life it must be when your friends are in there thinking fuck me let a fluo can change I can change that then become an inspiration for your friends and that's an important thing you probably never thought that would be the case 5 years ago never never how does that then make you feel that when you look back you think fuck me what I hear so would there be like 5 years 10 years if you keep just chipping away whatever you want to do in life you have to be consistent with what know what you want what do you want to achieve out of this within a year or two years what do you want out of it I've just been so consistent with what I'm doing James it's going to happen man it's going to happen I really want to move your role someone needs to come and get me I need to play a movie role for someone but just keep doing it just keep doing it you're doing your own lad baby you're on here again we've got other things and the pipeline you've got your own youtube channel you've got everything just small steps the only thing is we concentrate on a big finishing line we want this now tomorrow yesterday doesn't happen that way because there's got to be something when you achieve something there's got to be something to try and achieve again or else you just stop dead there's got to be new goals, new visions, new beliefs and then once you start gaining that confidence once the ball starts rolling what it already is then you can achieve anything you can be wherever you want to be you can be surrounded by however you want to be surrounded with no matter you can be sat in the fucking anywhere with my people you've never thought you'd be sat in the world I went to a Channel 4 launch party the other day and people was recognising me like Steve Odomadman he's quite big on Instagram and he'd come over and say it's good to be on this side isn't it and I was like yeah come and shake my hand a few other people come and say the last this is crazy, this is a bit of me not that I was showing off for anything but I was thinking this is where I'm meant to be that's your life, that's your partners and even though a lot of misery in the past you've still got to thank it because it's led to who you are I see you and your dad having books and films and I've seen them being a partnership there even the family life with your brother and again let's just all pass over the maybe your brother will go fuck this man what am I doing back in here my brother's been doing so well up until they come and got him the other day for the dog incident which wasn't even his fault like that he's been doing so well I've even had my little brother out at the house Alfie's been out at the house had a table tennis thing with him not so long ago he actually come on camera and done a little bit of my documentary for me I said to Alfie what's it like having your big brother out and he was like well we've not had the police here so good I suppose listen how about your brother getting on Alfie's doing right he's just in his room with his Chelsea top on just playing his computer and that he's a wicked character but you're doing well mate so I'm proud of you as well six months is a long time obviously five months, a year you've been out but five months since you were on this the first time and everything you've said you've stuck to and you've only got stronger you've got more confidence, you feel lighter, you feel freer so whatever you're doing is working the confidence is such a big thing man I've had a few people like messaging me saying I didn't talk like this on the James English thing well let's say that to that you learn to adapt to people you're around and I'm quite a good at adapting to certain situations or some people don't realise I'm doing skit sometimes on Instagram I'm missing about I may think I'm being a little rude boy from off this day it's actually a mess around thing right lads so stop abusing me but people are just like them on bro but like I say if this is what happens after a year then what's it going to be like in three years, five years, ten years for anybody that's maybe wanting to help you get involved with that, how can you get in touch yeah please feel free to message me on Instagram and subscribe to the YouTube channel I've got a lot of stuff coming look forward to having you in the gym soon I'm there brother Simpson as well, can't wait to see a few boys in the gym man for anybody that's struggling mate what advice would you have for them for anybody struggling man the first thing I say is be yourself learn to open up if you've got a friend you can go and talk to just go and talk to them and I always enjoy long walks I get people sending me videos on Instagram just them just walking Lou I've gone for a walk today so listen just appreciate some scenery go for a little stroll and if you're feeling that low just go and ask for help that's just getting that catch up for what you're doing, what you're achieving and how far you've come we'll get involved with in the next few weeks we'll go on to the more nitty gritty side of things but today's just a kind of catch up see how you are, which you're flying mate I'm proud of you listen for coming on again I'm proud of you for anybody that's want to get involved we'll leave the links for your social media in the description proud of you brother, keep going man I look forward to seeing what you're doing in the future