Mark my words, this year Nintendo 83 will not only take home the crown, the championship gold medal for best conference we will see throughout the entire week, but it will be chucked field with new information and release dates for some of the coolest games we will see on the system in its entire lifespan. And sure, maybe that win is just by default since Sony isn't even rocking up this year and Microsoft is, well, Microsoft. Now, in having said that, it's still maybe probably going to be disappointing for a lot of people for one very big reason. I do not expect to see any new game announcements this year. Like maybe we'll get some kind of new port announce or indie game or something small that will release that day during the event that we didn't expect, but for the most part Nintendo are going to focus on all of these games they told us were coming this year or early next year that they've given us so far like no information on. Like I'm going to go through these games in detail one by one as I work my way through this video, but let me just remind you quickly what games we have coming very soon that we know very little about. Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3, Luigi's Mansion 3, Daemon X Markiner, Astral Chain, Animal Crossing, Weather Hex, Bayonetta 3, The Legend of Zelda, Link's Awakening, that Game Freak, Game Town that we know nothing about. In fact, Town is its working title still. And let's go ahead and throw Mario Maker 2 on that list since it comes out very soon. Pokemon Sword and Shield. So that is 10 and if you count Pokemon Sword and Shield separately, which no one does, 11 or we'll just stick with 10. 10 exclusive games that we're expecting from Nintendo and most of them, like 80% of them for sure this year. What else would they possibly come out with? You know, you only have like six months left in the year. You've got like 10 games to put out. That's almost two big games a month. You're going to start fighting your own sales at that point. So no, I don't expect any big announcements. Sure, as I said maybe a couple of small ones. I know E3 just the feeling of E3, it makes you want new. It makes you want new things, not just information on old stuff. That's the exciting thing about E3, but that's not overload things right now. So maybe if I'm right, there will be those out there that will be disappointed in that. However, there is so much cool stuff to look forward to in this E3 event. I mean, we know nothing about Luigi's Mansion 3. Essentially, we definitely know nothing about Animal Crossing. And I just want to learn more about some of these titles that we know nothing about like release dates even. Also, I do have some theories on some pretty cool surprises. So without further ado, since I feel like this has been the weirdest longest intro to a video I've ever done, let's just start working down my list of things I expect to see and we should expect to see at E3 this year. Hi, this is me in the future. I'm actually about two days ahead of this guy. And I feel really sorry for him because tomorrow he's going to go and get blood taken and they're going to take like five vials of the stuff. And he's going to really embarrassingly pass out in the chair and then spend the next three hours of his life throwing up barely able to speak. Yesterday sucked. Actually, my head really hurts and all this yelling is already getting to me. So I'm just going to power through this really quick. I'm here in the future because I actually have to fix a couple of things in this video as I go. You'll see me pop up here in there. And also I got a phone call this morning on my cell phone from Audible and they asked me if I could pretty please fit them in a video this month and I would love to because I love Audible. So if you want to start listening today with a 30 day Audible trial and your first audiobook plus two Audible originals for free, visit audible.com slash beta maps or you can text beta maps to 500 500. Actually, fun fact, not so fun for me, but it helped. Yesterday when I was feeling really sick and my head was spinning, I couldn't actually watch anything on TV or use my phone. So instead I put on audible. I just actually I just typed in the word relax and listen to whatever popped up. If any of this sounds good to you, see what I did there and it really should again make sure you go to www.audible.com forward slash beta maps or text beta maps to 500 500.  So I'm going to let past me continue from here. Look at this guy. It's got no idea. Let's get the big bad boy in the room out of the way so we can move on to the game's new Nintendo Switch hardware. Okay, so maybe Nintendo isn't announcing any new games this year, but something new they can announce, Nintendo Switch Mini. There has just been so much smoke that up here in this room I can barely even breathe in regards to a new Switch revision in the miniature form and where there's smoke, there's typically fire. Now yeah, Nintendo has previously denied working on projects like this, but that's not something that they haven't done before where they flat out said no, we're not working on X thing right now. And then, you know, three months later at E3 or a direct or something like that. It's like, oh yeah, we are. They just like to keep their surprises for when they want to unveil them. I mean, I can't blame them for that.  But I do expect to see some kind of revision for the Switch at some point because duh, Nintendo did that a bunch with the 3DS and I just expect to see it with the Switch. Whether it's in the next few weeks, I don't know. But hopefully if they do announce something like this, we'll get the specs, the price and the release date because I'm not in the mood to be screwed around with this E3. I don't want them to just be like, hey, this thing's coming. Okay, bye. So yeah, as I said, a couple of surprises I do expect. One is they always have their available now on the eShop moment. No matter if it's a direct or an E3 conference, I think last time was Fortnite. They did it in a direct with Blaster Master 02. They always just go, hey, here is something, go download it tonight. Hi, future me again. Wow, that was really loud. I got to keep it down. About that stealth game drop yesterday. Again, when I started to come to and watch some videos, I watched one of Spawnwave's predictions on E3 and he said Cadence of Hyrule might be that game getting that stealth drop. Apparently the release date for it's been shuffling around. People have datamined it. There's no real solid release date. And yeah, you think about it. We have two Zelda games releasing this year. They're going to want to space them out. Yeah, I could totally see that being the stealth drop. Indie games are very often the stealth drop. And that is very exciting. And then the other surprise is where about do for a new Smash character announcement. Honestly, be surprised if we didn't get that. Again, with me expecting not to get too many game announcements, even if they don't rock up with new hardware, a Smash announcement is probably going to be enough to carry the event for most people. I do expect Cuphead to be in Smash. It just it makes too much sense. I mean, it's just no holds. But at this point, Reggie himself said during the game awards that all these DLC characters are going to be off the wall, crazy, most likely outside of Nintendo characters. And with Cuphead on Switch and the creator of Cuphead going on record and saying he would love to see his characters in Smash, you can have Mugman as an Echo fighter or just a different skin, really. I think that would be really great. I don't expect to see it, but I do expect to see a new Smash character of some kind. Witcher three, we talked about this very recently in the last video on my channel. So go and watch that if you want more information on that as well as a bunch of other really radical cool gaming news. Okay, I wouldn't blame you if you didn't watch that video now. But we can maybe expect to see this. And this is the last thing on my maybe pile, Metroid Prime 4. Like maybe we can expect to see that everything else I'm about to talk about is my definitely I expect to see this stuff. But Metroid Prime 4 is up in the air, maybe. Purely because I feel like if they just ignore it and they don't mention it at all in any way, it's just going to be kind of weird and concerning. But at the same time, obviously it wasn't that long ago, just a few months, I lose track of the days that they announced that Retro Studios was taking over development. And then it was only like a month or two ago that Retro Studios was hiring people to work on the game. So I mean, I very much doubt they have anything to actually show of the game. But just like mentioned, like maybe an update on the progress, like what is happening with Metroid Prime 4 would be good. Just going to cut in here. Hi, sorry for the intrusion. I completely just spaced on Metroid Prime Trilogy. I feel like I want to at least mention it. But now that they have no idea what's happening with Metroid Prime 4, they have no idea when to release the trilogy, which is ready to go. And that is my personal theory. So I don't think anyone should hold their breath for that trilogy until we know what's happening with the fourth game until Nintendo knows what's happening with the fourth game. Because at that point, they can get a better understanding of when they need to release the trilogy or maybe they'll just release the trilogy. But I think they have enough going on right now where they don't need to. So holding onto it till it makes better sense makes more sense to me. So I don't expect to see it, but I would love to see it. And of course, Pokemon Sword and Shield is getting their own direct before the E3 events. So I doubt we'll see much more than a little trailer, if anything, during E3's conference. So with all that being said, let's just jump right into it, shall we? Luigi's Mansion 3. I absolutely, we will absolutely finally see something about this game. I fully expect that reason being it does have a released window of 2019 and, correct me if I'm wrong, we're getting pretty close to the end of that. If it's releasing around September, October, even November, now is the time to give us that release date and tell us about the game. Another game with just a loose 2019 window, Daemon X Markiner. I know a lot of you are really excited for this one. Personally, I played the demo and thought it was very air. But either way, when is it releasing? Hopefully we'll find out during this event. Not to mention I wasn't the only one that was kind of disappointed by the way it performed on Switch in that demo. So it would be good if they touched on that, if they talked about improvements or maybe even just showed us more of it, I suppose. Now, Astral Chain, which I am so beyond excited for, is one of those rare Nintendo Switch exclusive games that we actually have a release date for right now. And that's August 30, which for those of you playing at home, yeah, it's pretty soon. And apart from one really, really cool trailer, that's all, that's all we have. And since Nintendo's relationship with Platinum Games is so rock solid right now, I highly expect them to pimp the heck out of that game and really push it in our faces before release. And now is the perfect chance. However, I will say if you know me, I have this whole thing about once I'm sold on something, I don't want to see too much more of it before I get to play it. I'm ready. Oh, you ready for the big one? Animal Crossing. This one is like, you never know with Nintendo. You never know if they're actually going to talk about something they need to talk about. Remember when they didn't talk about Nintendo's online service until like the day beforehand? It's like they just refuse to give information sometimes. So with any of these things, as much as I expected to see them because they should be there and we need to know more about these games, I would not put it past Nintendo to not even mention Luigi's Mansion throughout the entire event. This is just what Nintendo does. I always say expect the unexpected and even on something as obvious as that, we still might not get it. But in having said that, you have to expect Animal Crossing. Like, it's coming this year. We know nothing about this game. Nothing. All we've seen is one trailer that didn't even reflect the game as a whole. It was just an announcement.  Bayonetta 3 for me is like the same boat as Metroid Prime, except this one hasn't been canceled and they've been working on it this entire time. So it has to be almost ready at this point. I don't need the plot. I don't need the story. I honestly, I'd love to see the gameplay because I'm excited, but I don't even need that. All I need right now from Bayonetta 3 is a release window for a game this big. It's really just been swept under the rug for the most part and not talked about. I think we should all expect to see more of the Link's Awakening remake. I'm not sure in what context. I don't think any of us really need to see anymore. We just need to be told that elusive release date that Nintendo hates to give on all their games apparently. But it is a brand new-ish Zelda game. So there's no way they're not going to shove it in our faces as much as possible and I'm completely okay with that. Speaking of a game that needs more information, Town is, that's not even its name. It's a working title. We know so little about this new game-free game that we don't even know its name. I feel like I'm a broken record in this video. Every time I talk about one of these games, we expect it's, hey, when's the release date? Can you show us any of the game? There's no room for anything else, Nintendo. And it's exciting in its own way. I love it. And it's crazy to me that a game that's releasing in 2019 doesn't even have a title halfway through the year. What the heck? It kind of reminds me of Monster Hunter Stories but like spliced in with Pokemon? I don't know because they haven't showed me anything. So Game Freak, uh, maybe at least give us a name? I kind of like Town to be honest. I wouldn't complain if they just stuck with that. Might be more information on Marvel Ultimate Alliance 3. I don't really know how I feel about that game at this point. I was excited at the concept initially but now it just feels like it's been so, like I wish it was, I wish it had come out already. With the really light release schedule that the Switches had at the first half of the year, it would have made sense for this game to come out in the last couple months. Obviously not if it wasn't ready but it would have filled a gap at a time when it was needed. And most of these games coming out this year, it's kind of hard to look at that release schedule with all these really cool games and then go Marvel Ultimate Alliance somewhere in there. I guess I'll get that too. Also would have capitalized on the hype around the end game movie which, you know, released like a month ago at this point which maybe that's why I'm already feeling kind of burnt out and over the concept of Marvel heroes. Maybe? I don't know.  Maybe some of the games I talked about today will find their way in this montage but we'll probably get a bunch of really cool Nindy games either in a montage or in their own montage or I'm sure there'll be a couple of really big ones that I want to focus on since games like, you know, Dead Cells and Cuphead and all of that, they do really well for the system. And that is definitely a highlight for me. I love my Indies and I get just as excited for those announcements as I do the big ones. Either way, it's all gonna be non-stop. It's all gonna be crazy even if they don't announce a single new IP or single new game other than maybe a port or two. It is still gonna be non-stop brand new information and release dates and just really cool stuff to get excited for and we're gonna end up walking away. Hopefully, if they do this right, with a bunch of new information on a bunch of games we're really excited for. Again, like Animal Crossing, Luigi's Mansion and blah, blah, blah, blah. It was such a weird position, but it's really cool. Nintendo blew their load on announcing all of these games with just, you know, title cards and really nothing announcements years early. It kind of put them in this position where now, where these games are actually getting into close proximity, they can't announce anything. They've already blew their load. They already announced it all. And here they are just kind of scrambling to give us all information on it. And again, that might be disappointing. That might suck because it might feel like we don't get any really fresh new news on video games that are coming to Switch. But at the same time, it's a really cool position where they have these 8, 9, 10 exclusive Switch games that we're gonna be getting all this information that we know nothing about at once. And it's all for the next six months. Like, okay, maybe the last six months on Switch has been pretty slow. We've had to deal with a lot of, you know, ports and stuff like that which have been fun and tied us over. But as far as big releases, we've been really waiting for this last six months.  So get your wallets ready. Let me know what you expect from Nintendo this year at E3. Let me know what you thought of this video. And also let me know by liking it, hey, let me know over the subscribe button. Click on top of this video right here. If you want to watch more Nintendo Switch news, I talk about the Witcher 3 coming to Switch in that video as well as a bunch of other stuff. And with all that said, everyone should go to Twitter, follow me while you're there, but type in RJT.  Can't hear me.


Good morning everybody. I'm so excited to be here opening a conference dedicated to the human side of software. I think because computers are built with advanced physics and chemistry people like to clothe the work of software in a suit of science to think that it can be reduced solely to bits and registers. And this leads to myriad problems from dubious ethics to the failings of meritocracy. And I think the way to counter this reductionism is to do what we're doing here today, talking about our humanity, re-centering that experience in the industry. And it seems to me that most of the speakers here are talking about really one thing. And that's kindness and ways that we can make ourselves and each other better. And I can't wait. This is going to be amazing. I'm going to talk about the complexities of our emotional system and I'm going to use some software metaphors to do that. And it's going to focus a little bit on the way they affect my life and the lives of other developers, but the principles apply outside of technology just as easily. And I'm going to be using a couple of software metaphors in this talk, but there's only really two that you need to understand for it to make sense. The first is an API, which is just a contract between two software systems about how they're going to communicate with each other. So it could be two servers at different companies on the internet or two different systems within your computer exchanging information. The second bit of, second concept is of what's called a middleware, which is a layer of software that translates from one system to another. So commands will come in one side, they'll get transformed and then sent out the other side, sort of like a software adapter. And that's really it. That's all you're going to need to know. Also a quick content warning. I'm going to talk about divorce and the death of a loved one. And if you need to step out for any reason, please do so. My name is John Sowers. I've been coding professionally for more than 20 years. And in addition to being a CTO founder and developer, I've also spent many years working with people as they delved into their deepest and most intense emotions. And from that work, I developed this API, this metaphor to explain how emotions work because people don't really understand that very well. And so I'll walk you through the metaphor. I'll talk about why that work is important. And then I'll also dive into a number of techniques that you can use to level up your skills in this area. But first, I will start with a quote. It's pretty funny. And I think we can all relate to it. And I started wondering, well, how come we all feel this way that we don't really understand what's going on here? And I think a lot of it comes down to how we're raised. I think even as children, we're given a lot of instruction about what not to do. Don't run, don't yell, don't make a scene, lots of not, not, nots. But what we're never given is a list of things that we should do to stay emotionally healthy to process our feelings in appropriate ways. Our parents probably didn't give us this info, probably because they themselves didn't know. Schools don't do this. They'll punish you for doing it improperly, but they don't have any classes on how to get good. So each of us is on our own to figure out how this thing works on our own. And because of that, success is uneven. So I've put this talk together because I want to help everyone improve in this area to help everyone populate the list on that previous slide with a big number of things that they can do whenever they need. And this talk is built from my own experiences. It's one way to think about how feelings work, but it's not the only one. So if this doesn't work for you, that's completely fine. I hope that you can find a model that does work. So let's talk about our emotional API. These are our core emotional endpoints. They panel all the basic emotions and they're hardwired in. But these endpoints don't get called directly. We have this layer of emotional middleware that takes events happening to us and translates into feeling reactions. And these mappings are created over the course of our lives. We start out with none, but we end up with a lot. And they're very flexible and they vary between people. We see in this diagram one event triggering one feeling. And that can sometimes be the case, but often there can be a lot of complexity in this middleware. There can be large chunks of code that actually send a lot of traffic into that core API. So let's look at an example of what that might be. We'll start at the top. That's sort of losing your job example. The code for that might look like this. That's 100 calls to your fear API, 20 calls to your sadness API. That's going to be a very intense experience for someone. There's also some bad news. It's a public API. Anybody, anywhere, any event can call any of those endpoints at any time. But it's okay because by practicing some of the tools I'm going to tell you about today, you can rewrite that middleware. You can refactor the code so that you get to choose what responses you send when those events happen to you. And that's my metaphor. It's a framework for understanding and processing your feelings. What I like about this model is that it takes as big sort of ill-defined, messy thing called feelings, breaks it down into some smaller ideas that are easier to talk about, easier to explain and understand. And I'll segue into the next section with another quote. I don't like working with emotions. You probably don't either. And unfortunately there's nothing I can do about that. So what I'm going to do now is try and explain why it's worth going through that work to get through that discomfort and make things better. And I'll talk about some of the surprising and not so surprising ways that emotions are impacting our life. So I'll start with one unpleasant truth, and that is that you can't actually avoid your feelings. In studies where they ask people to suppress a negative emotional response, we see them fail. Well, the participants thought that they were doing fine. They're like, yeah, I got this. Nobody can tell. When we peer into their nervous system, we can see the effect is still there or it's intensified. So pretending that you're not feeling something can make it worse. So emotions are unavoidable. Let's look at how they affect us when we're sitting alone just writing some code. So unprocessed feelings make us feel powerless. And the powerless as I'm talking about is that feeling of not being in control of your life or your career or not being able to handle whatever comes at you. And so think about the last time some vague emotional event happened to you, like losing your job, for example, in that situation, you probably didn't feel powerful. But even in less intense situations, that same effect can be what happened to us. And in studies that looked at this effect of powerlessness on people, they saw a specific deficit in what's called the executive function. Now executive function is our ability to control our attention, to focus in deeply on things, organize and keep details in track. And I think that sounds like what most of us do all day. So when that's impacted, we lose our ability to focus deeply in on code, to find bugs and to design new complicated systems. It also affects our short-term memory. So think about how much of a system you can hold in your head, what you're tracing through and trying to find the source of a bug. It also affects our ability to handle stress. So think about the last production outage you are a part of, or a demo before executives, or even just crunch time before a release. Do you want that stress to affect you this much or this much? Conversely, when you have a good framework for handling your feelings, you get back that sense of control of power. You reverse all the problems I just mentioned. When children were trained in these techniques of what they call emotional hygiene, their behavior improved, as you would expect, but their grades also improved. It was a measurable increase in academic achievement. And when adults were trained in these same skills, we also saw a measurable increase in long-term health outcomes. Think about that. You actually, your body works better when your feelings work better. So being a developer isn't just about slinging code though. We're part of a community and in many ways the non-coding aspects of software are becoming more important than the coding ones and they're more of them. So whether it's an open-source project, a large corporate team, or a two-person startup, thriving in a diverse community requires us to develop skills in communication, empathy, and understanding. So let's look at how feelings impact how we work with others. Interestingly, when you develop an understanding of your own emotions, that work automatically translates into ability to understand and empathize with other people. And in his book Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goldman talks about the correlation he's found between career progress and emotional skills. Basically, you get better jobs and you get promoted faster when you have these skills. And when we regain that power, we are less self-centered and we increase our ability to empathize. We rarely intend to cause harm with our words, but empathy helps us keep an eye out for how they're going to come across to other people so that we can avoid accidentally doing things that are going to hurt people. I got a chance to see Laura's talk earlier this week that's a Harry the Hedgehog talk. It's at 1 p.m. today and it really delves into a lot of practical ways of keeping track of this in your communication. It's really great. So let's go into some detailed scenarios that illustrate how this can play out in day-to-day life. From my perspective, you're a better developer if your emotional state isn't impacting your ability to think clearly. If you have the confidence to express your ideas and advocate for them without thinking incorrectly that nobody wants to hear from you. If your comments are full of empathy and understanding and don't make your team dread getting your input. If you're not distracted by difficult emotional situations outside of work, you can deal with coworkers that push your buttons so that your work performance isn't impacted by someone else who doesn't have their act together. If you can fight an imposter syndrome and more importantly, if you can realize when you're being gaslighted, when you can see a situation clearly enough to realize that actually is unfair. If you can keep your cool during job interviews or if you can be fired without saying or doing something you'll regret. And let's talk about leadership for a moment. These skills are critical for managing and mentoring a team of developers.  A while back, frontside.io ran an article about what they look for in a senior developer and talks a lot about these issues. You'll notice pretty much everything in all of those circles has a huge emotional intelligence component to it. Even the technical capability circle talks about behavior, not whether you've got 10 years of job or not. Curiosity, discipline, fearlessness. These are emotional skills. So those are some of the reasons why I think it's important to do this work. I think it has a huge benefit on us. Now I'm going to talk about my toolkit for dealing with emotions so that you can get better at handling them. I've broken it down into four levels of difficulty. Level one are new ways to think about emotions. Level two are techniques that you can use by yourself to practice and get some more fluency with how your own emotions work. Level three skills are applying those level two techniques but with somebody else. This is a little bit harder because it involves being open and vulnerable with another person. And level four skills are the most powerful and also the most difficult because they involve being open and vulnerable in a group of people. Let's start with easy stuff in level one. So changing the way you think about emotions can actually have a huge impact. Because we get no formal training in this, a lot of us have misconceptions about how feelings work. So I'm going to clear those up and explain it all. The first thing to realize is that our emotional reactions are not set in stone. They're legacy code that's built up over our lifetime and it can be rewritten. And we get to decide when and where we process our emotions. We have this great background job queue available. It lets us find the best time and place to process our feelings so if now isn't a good time, we can place that feeling on a queue and come back to it later. And this queue is actually the same thing we've been using since we were children. We were told not to do things and we learned how to not have an outburst in the middle of denies. But the problem is we have never been given those skills for bringing jobs back off that queue and running them. So this queue has probably been just building up our entire lives. And people get really caught up in what it means about them when they have feelings. But I want to tell you, having a feeling does not mean anything about you. Now feelings are very personal and they can mean a lot to you but they don't define you in any way. If you're feeling angry, it doesn't mean that you're an angry person.  It's just a feeling. But strong emotions can be kind of scary because they feel like you might lose control. Anger in particular does this because it's a very energetic emotion. And notice what I just described there. You're now feeling afraid of feeling angry. And that's pretty complicated but it can go deeper than that. Imagine for example you're angry at your mother but the way you were raised that wasn't something you were really allowed to do. So you now feel ashamed about feeling angry about your mother. Further, imagine that you're now aware of this cycle, this reaction that you have but you haven't quite broken out of it. So maybe you feel discussed about the shame that you feel about the anger. And maybe that makes you angry. So you can have these multiple conflicting feelings about a situation and people always want to know which is the real one. The answer is all of them. They're all real feelings. There's no such thing as how you really feel. And the feelings that arrive in a situation don't have to make sense. Think of that losing your job example from earlier. You can react to that with relief, with anger, with guilt, with sadness are all four of those mixed together. There's no one thing you should feel in that situation. And even if the feeling doesn't make sense in the situation, it still has to be treated as valid. For example, you can feel like a situation is unfair. Then think about it some more and realize, no, it's probably fine. And sometimes that will remove the feeling. You're like, oh yeah, sorry, it's fine. But sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes that feeling is still there. And even though it doesn't mesh with reality, it's still a feeling that needs to be handled on its own. You still have to feel it and process it. When you do it, it'll go away. And then you'll be all right. Also one last piece. Many of us have had the experience of feeling like a feeling is so big that if we let even a little bit of it out, that it's never going to stop. If I express this anger, I will never stop yelling. If I express this sadness, I will never stop crying. But that will not happen. Experts tell me that feelings really only last about 20 minutes. And this matches my experience over and over again, that they just will not go on forever. It feels like they will, but they won't. So that's level one. Level two actions are things that you can do on your own to start building an understanding of yourself and your emotional reactions and to start having some experience of understanding the concepts level one. Now feelings begin in your physical body. They're not just mental processes and all they want to do is move through you and out. It's like when you've had too much coffee, your body really wants to move. And so actually doing the movement can help those feelings come out and be expressed. So you can dance, run, sing, exercise, any of these things will help. In fact, sometimes the first thing you notice about a feeling is actually just a physical sensation. You don't actually know what the feeling itself is and doing these, you know, moving your body can help that come out and then you can realize what's actually going on. But to make real progress, you have to feel the feeling. You can't just go for a run and hope it goes away. So I'll do a quick aside here about rubber duct debugging. And if you haven't heard about that, I'll do a quick summary for you. So if you ever have this experience where you're banging your head against the problem for a long time and eventually get frustrated enough that you're going to go ask a co-worker to help you figure out what's going on. So you get it from your desk, you walk over there and you start explaining the problem. And as you say the words, boom, a flash of insight happens. And this is such a common experience that a hack has been developed to short circuit this process. Keep a rubber duck on your desk. Works with a cat or a dog too.   And that's often enough to trigger that same burst of insight. So being aware of your emotions, talking about them, naming them is really helpful. So I'm going to give you some tips about talking about feelings. Now you may have noticed that we're currently in the section about things that you do alone. Let me explain. This is where the duck comes in. The same trick works when talking about feelings. You can talk to nobody. And it still has a lot of the same impact. So sometimes talking through a feeling is all that's really required to process it. Just by exploring it verbally, you can feel it enough that it will be fully handled. So think of it as a process of like verbally exploring a feeling space. Like you're trying to find the right word for it.  And sometimes you'll even discover that you don't know what the feeling was until you hit upon that one word for it that describes it.  And it can be fine to hard to find the right word because we don't have a lot of practice in this. So this feel wheel will help you pick a good word. It was developed by Dr. Gloria Wilcox back in the 80s. And it's not exhaustive and you might not even agree with some of the ways that things are set up in the hierarchy there. But it's a great way to start talking about feelings and trying to find precise words to describe what you're feeling. Come up to me after the talk. I can give you a copy of this if you'd like. So the language we use when we talk about feelings is really important. Typically you say I'm angry. But I would suggest that instead you say I feel angry. It's a small change in words but the meaning is actually drastically different. When you say I feel angry you're saying I'm currently feeling angry. And because we have that earlier slide we know it's not going to last very long. When you say I am angry you're saying anger defines me. And that's a little bit hyperbolic but the truth is really in there. And so I suggest making that switch in even in casual conversation. So talking through a feeling is basically just calling your own emotional API endpoints over and over again. And like anything you practice you get better at it. You start getting a sense of what it feels like to feel that feeling. And so I suggest doing this at a regular cadence like a weekly emotional retrospective like a sprint retro where you can just look back on your week and like catalog the feelings that you felt and you can do it as simply as just naming them and just having a list there where you can spend more time and delve really into them. What was the underlying feeling? What was the cause? Maybe where that came from deeper into your past but even just writing down a list of names is really helpful. And taking time to practice this on the day-to-day feelings of things that are just here and there and little things can make it a lot more helpful when you have some big intense emotional experience in your process because you've already started knowing what it feels like to do this. So you can develop a lot of skills on your own doing this. Things get a lot more powerful when you've got another person there. In addition to helping you process your feelings to help you give you back input and feedback in what you're talking about it strengthens relationships to talk about feelings with people. It makes them feel trusted and included increases their trust in you. And it can be as simple as sharing your emotional retro with someone just a quick catch up or just a simple share here and there maybe answer honestly when they ask you how you're doing but emotional sharing isn't helpful in all situations. Imagine at work a co-worker gets credit for an idea that you proposed and that makes you really angry. What you want to do is figure out what you're angry about. Are you angry at your boss or at the co-worker at the situation and then you want to feel that anger you want to express it alone or with someone unrelated to the situation. Once you've done that once that feeling is mostly gone then you can start thinking about resolution about what would make that situation better. You can decide well I don't feel angry anymore maybe there's nothing I want to do now about this right now or you can decide I want to go talk to this person and you can say to them this thing made me angry but you don't want to be angry when you're doing it. That's often very counterproductive it puts the other person on the defensive makes the discussion about everybody's feelings right then and there and not about the resolution that will make everybody feel better in the end and sometimes need to bring in a consultant. There continues to be this judgment that therapy is only for people that have big emotional psychological problems or that they who can't handle their life but working with a therapist should have no more stigma than bringing in a consultant to architect your next integration. Having a subject matter expert on call to help you spot the pitfalls that are coming up to be a resource to ask questions for or to see your blind spots can be really really helpful. For most people the thought of burying their deepest and most intense emotions in a group is completely terrifying and it was for me and until I did it I had no idea how powerful it could be. At the urging of someone I trusted I went to a workshop called purpose passion peace p3 for short. I had literally no idea what was going to happen to me for the next two days but I just trusted that it was going to be good and there I found an amazingly safe space a space that was safe enough for me to face all the big intense feelings that I've been avoiding my entire life and I don't have any and I had such an amazing experience that I went back every time they did the workshop to help other people go through it so and I well eventually we started supervising and organizing the weekends because it was so valuable to me and so gratifying to help other people go through that same intense process and I don't have any psychology training but I learned so much from that direct experience both in digging through my deepest feelings and seeing other people go through that same process and seeing the commonalities so I'm going to tell you about my experience with anger I do this for several reasons first it's a vivid example and it illustrates some of the level three and four tools that I'm talking about but secondly and more importantly I want to model the behavior I want to show you what it looks like for someone to talk about these things and a room full of people as a child I was not allowed to get angry other people used up all the anger points and there were none left for me so my only option was to just be pleasant all the time and I did that for 30 years once I was into my late 20s I started realizing how much anger had been building up over my lifetime and I was deathly afraid of it at the time this is my this instruction list for dealing with anger there's nothing there I was working with a therapist at the time and she was trying to get me to get in touch with it but she had this tiny little office and I was convinced the moment I really started to let it out the furniture would be broken the books scattered around like it would just be a disaster so I was stuck I had no way to deal with that anger and it wasn't until I was in that room with p3 that I finally felt safe enough to express it and so I did I raged I screamed and I threw the biggest fit of my entire life and it was amazing and nobody died and nothing broke and nobody was upset with me it was so cool and I did it again and again like multiple times not every time I went back but every time I felt like I needed to and every time I did it I felt like I lost 50 pounds it was so great so throwing a fit is actually a really great way to express your anger and I'm pretty sure most of you have already done it a few times in your life but the trick is getting back to doing it because we spent so long repressing that urge so there are a couple of tricks that you can do to get there first of all you need to set aside time and space make something really comfortable like a big mattress or an air mattress and then just lay down and start kicking punching and yelling as loud as you can but the trick is that it's hard to do that because because we don't really aren't in touch with that feeling from deep long ago so once you start moving your body in that sort of anger motion it'll start letting the feeling come up it you will start feeling the anger even if you didn't when you started and but the trick is that until you start feeling it you feel like a complete idiot because you're sitting there doing this thing that's like a toddler thing and it's really uncomfortable but that feeling will come and when it comes it'll bring so much energy with it and you'll just be able to put all your effort in and you're only going to go for five ten maybe 15 minutes before you're completely exhausted and then don't make any plans for the rest of the day so you can do this alone you can do it with a trusted friend or you can find a group like p3 and do it with 20 people you've just met supporting you in the most amazing way and i've done this a lot and things still make me angry today it's not like i've stopped being angry about things that's never going to happen but the anger i expressed today is not the anger from when i was 12 or five that's all gone so when i do have a big angry anger thing that i need to work on and i don't always have my act together enough to do this it's it's hard work takes a lot of effort to get myself there even when i know it's so good for me but when i do when i when i can really put it together i set aside some time and throw a fit so let's move on to sadness this simple series of api calls describes a huge part of my life each one of these api heads was devastating and each one multiplied upon the others you see the different versions here these are the different ages i was at and i'll show how that plays out in just a minute so when i was five my parents got divorced i felt so many different feelings fear and sadness and blame and grief and all these things and the five-year-old mind is very self-centered so even though everyone told me it wasn't my fault i knew that it was and when i was eight i found out my father had cancer and it triggered those same there's a bunch of new feelings about loss and grief and those triggered those same older feelings from before and they all got sort of mixed in together and those older feelings are more primal they're harder to process and of course i was only eight so i didn't really have any tools for this and then when i was 17 my father died and again those same feelings came back again and again and they started multiplying together into this huge mass i was faced with all of it and i had no no idea what to do i just held on for dear life and hoped that it would blow over but it didn't blow over 15 years after this it's a regular thursday afternoon i'm releasing some code to production and a couple of bugs slip through now we don't like releasing bugs to production but maybe it's not the end of the world if there's css is a little wonky at the bottom of the FAQ but to me it felt like panic i was thinking my boss daddy is going to leave me this is all these feelings all over again this is a stack trace of what that feeling might look like if we see these highlighted lines those are code i wrote when i was five have any of you written code when you were five was a really good code so i was reacting to something happening to my adult self with a script written by a child and that's what these old unprocessed feelings do to us they trap a part of us at the developmental age we're at when the trauma happens so that those feelings are processed by the most primitive and damaged parts of ourselves so i did what you do with sadness in the safe space of p3 i cried and i cried until my muscles hurt and i did it again and again over the years and eventually i got it all out if you remember this slide there's so many feelings stacked on top of one another so i worked through each one in turn first the sadness then the grief and the anger the machine if we look at a diff of what that code might look like now it's been refactored now of course if my father died today i would still feel a great amount of grief but it wouldn't ripple out with massive problematic effects for the next 20 years i'm not running that outdated code anymore and you like this sometimes you can completely rewrite the method if you look at that release from earlier this is what it looks like now it's basically a no op so that's some of my baggage and you can see some of the effects it had on my life so i'd like you to think a little bit about what baggage you might have that you could be bringing to your relationships at work or at home are there parts of you that are reacting to things like a five-year-old or a 10-year-old or 15-year-old and that's my toolbox the ultimate goal of all of these tools is to get you to a single place feeling a feeling not denying it not analyzing it not stopping it not indulging it just feeling it now since forever these skills have been called soft skills and i really hate that it's so incorrect it takes a lot of time and effort to build up your skills in this area far longer than it takes to learn singing or ruby or docker or whatever and that's why i'm here speaking because i'm hoping that this framework will help you get there faster so as we start wrapping up let's talk about best practices and next steps so you know how you read that one blog post about best practices for whatever your framework or language is you get really excited because oh this is going to make my code so much better so you run down your editor and you pull it up and you think yes i will do the thing at about five or ten minutes later you completely give up because you realize that the inertia of your code base is going to resist any sort of big architectural changes on any short timeframe that's how it's going to go with your feelings so don't try doing everything in all the levels all at once pick just one thing that resonates you from this talk and try and incorporate it into your daily life just keep in the back of your mind think about how it's applying to your interactions once you feel like that's well integrated into your thinking watch your video you can find it on my website and pick the next thing and then integrate that one and then the next and that's how we build up these skills also a note of warning as you start leveling up in this area it's tempting to judge other people that don't have the same skills to think that you're better than they are that you're more advanced and i want you to fight that feeling fight the part over your ego that says you're better than they are because you're not you just have a few more tools and if you can use those tools to help that other person help them go through what they're going through and then teach them the tools so that they can get better at going through things in the future and that's how we make ourselves in our lives in our world better okay everyone let's take a big deep breath thank you so much it's been absolutely wonderful talking today come up get a feeling wheel i have them for you you can see the slides here videos at emotionalapi.com you can sign up for my mailing list follow me on twitter and if you're curious about references to the studies i talked about there's this you can take a picture or just pull it off of the slide deck it's been wonderful talking to you


into me. I feel like this happens every maybe like six months or it used to happen to me when I was making YouTube videos like years ago. I would go through faces where it was like harder for me to talk to the camera and this morning I was trying to film like a quick intro to this vlog. I was just stumbling over my words and I could not string a sentence together for no reason.  I was quite busy on site and I was like I'm just gonna like take videos and put some music over it and then chat with them after the match. As you guys probably already know we're at the Indian Wells Tournament and I'm very excited to be doing a full-blown tennis vlog for you guys this week. I'm also working quite a bit this tournament which is really fun.  The next tournament guys in terms of tennis I have a very big exciting announcement so I'm very excited to officially announce that with you guys soon but I spent a lot of time on the site yesterday. I had a meeting and I wanted to shoot this look that you guys might have seen on my Instagram and I had an editor come to my New York City pop-up from Forbes and I wasn't sure if she was gonna write an article about the pop-up but we just invited her to come to our press day and she ended up writing something about Dairy Boy and we've been in touch with her and she's gonna be writing a piece that's going live tomorrow in Forbes about my new office opening and Dairy Boy and the look that I did with Miu Miu and New Balance so I will leave the link to that article. Just really cool to be recognized by an amazing writer and an amazing publication so that was really cool.  Probably our biggest drop ever. We are launching our woodland white camo set that we've been working on for so long. I'm gonna vlog the whole launch day tomorrow. I also asked you guys on Instagram what you wanted to see this week in the vlog and a lot of people said they wanted to see like more behind-the-scenes content of the tennis tour. I'm gonna give you guys a little tour tomorrow more in depth of like the players lounge the dining area. I'm gonna go to bed and I will see you guys right in early tomorrow for our Dairy Boy drop. Okay, it's 10. This is insane. There's 6,000 people on the website right now.  Bro, bro, bro. I don't need that.  This is insane. That was so hard. How did I do that? I haven't even been able to see it. Dude, screw this tournament. I know, right? You don't need to play tennis anymore. Dude, what am I even doing? Running around, grinding out there? He just goes WTF. I'm just in complete shock right now. I cannot believe what just happened. And like the drop was just insane. We've never ordered that many units before and we ordered a lot. Not expecting it to sell out. Honestly, we were just trying to get a gauge on like sizes and how many sizes to order in each thing, but everything sold out. So it's insane. I am so, so grateful. So thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. I'm emotional and in shock. Just thank you. Okay, vlog. We're about to run out to the match for the day. It is a doubles match, so it's just like fun and pretty casual. I am wearing this little skirt from Tank Air. Very comfy and cute. And then this tank is just from H&M. Liv, have you said hi to the vlog yet? Briefly. Liv, we're going to head to the doubles match and hopefully grab a drink and maybe, oh. So yeah, we're going to head there now and I will give you guys a little behind the scenes tour of the players lounge, the players dining area. I'll do my best without getting kicked out. But it's actually really gross. The doubles match. I really like this. I'm making a lot of chicken parm tonight. So this is going to be how I'm going to do it. I just have parm, parsley, garlic powder and panko. And then I do a layer of just flour and then this breading. I'll show you guys. I'm actually having a good day. So it's like 12 right now and he's going to be on suit. This might be one of my favorite outfits that I've worn all weekend. My whole outfit today is from Reformation. Little gingham shirt. This is one of my favorite shirts that I've worn in a very long time. Like, it's just so cute. I feel very comfortable in it. And this little mini low-rise mini skirt. And then I'm wearing Lisbeck sunglasses and I'm wearing Reformation shoes too that I will show you guys what we need to run there because I'm running a little bit behind today. Good match. He played against a really tough opponent today. We have some drinks. We're just going to watch.  We're just going to watch and then head back to the house in a little bit. Yeah. We're going to go shopping for my mom. My mom was only planning on staying for like a day or two and I've convinced her to stay. So I think we're going to run to do a little bit of shopping. I'm probably not going to do any shopping but I'm there to support her shopping. You don't shop much either at all. I don't. But this morning Tommy and I went to a friend's house for breakfast and they're staying at this house that has horses and it was so nice to see some horses this morning. We had like a little bit of a brunch. Today is Tommy's off day and yeah. So we're just chilling. He's going to be going to practice. So we're just hanging out today and he has a match tomorrow. Which we're very excited about. Friends are done for the day. I think we're just going to head back to the house now and make probably a little snack and then start thinking about cooking dinner. It's so fun. The weather's been so beautiful. Which is honestly kind of nice. Good morning vlog. Today is the quarter finals and I'm really excited. We have been here for a while now. This tournament is just so special. So being able to be here until the quarter finals is just such a treat. I've also been so busy recently. That this week has felt like just almost like a vacation in a really nice way. It's been a very relaxing week. This place is pretty relaxing and the weather's been so nice and the tennis has been really nice. And just spending time with Tommy and his team, who I love very much and my mom. We just had a team meeting actually while I was doing my makeup. We had weekly touch base meetings. We just had a great meeting about recapping our drop which just blew us all away. It was absolutely incredible and amazing and I just couldn't be more grateful for you guys and for anyone who supported that drop. But we had a really great meeting. We touched base on things that we did well things we could have done better products launching soon and just a lot of very exciting things to come. So my makeup is all done. I'm wearing my hair up today. I'm wearing a little plex in my hair, a little mask bun situation. I actually need to run out the door very soon so I'm going to show you guys what I think I'm going to wear. So I just went with this tank. This is literally my favorite tank top and this low rise denim skirt. We are on the way to the match now and every single day before Tommy goes on he has texted me the same exact message. Hey babe, I'm going to get ready. I love to see you out there with two exclamation points and I feel like he's copy pasted the same thing. He's not the most superstitious tennis player I wouldn't say. After a week of wearing heels I have blisters. This is a reality at this point in the tournament where I've worn heels to the matches all week and I have blisters. So, sneaker girl today. Okay vlog, about to start the semifinals today. This week has just been so incredible. I'm so proud of Tommy for just for this tournament. It's his favorite tournament and to have accomplished this is just incredible. It should be a good one. We need to go run there right now. But I will see you guys at the site. We are just packing up now actually. We're going to go back to LA tonight to my apartment and then I'm going to quickly pack my stuff and then we're heading to Miami for the Miami Open. I'm doing something very exciting with the Miami Open so I have to be there right when the tournament starts. I'm going to do an announcement for you guys on all of that. This has been in the works for a long time so I'm really excited to announce that but I'm not going to be in LA this week so I'm going right to our place in Florida. We're driving back tonight because I think Tommy's going to take a flight early tomorrow morning and then I'm going to leave later in the day once I run a few errands. But this week was so amazing guys. I can't even really express how amazing and special this week was. I just feel like I spent really quality time with Tommy and my mom and Tommy's team. Also Tommy just had an amazing week. Obviously making it to the semi-finals of an 1,000 level tournament is a huge accomplishment but he also did play really, really well tonight in his match. Your ankle's okay? Yeah. That's what people are going to be wondering. Yeah, it's fun. Tommy rolled his ankle literally in half in the tiebreaker. Did it hurt in the tiebreak? Not not the best time to roll your ankle but anyways I'm very excited for next week and just to be back in Florida I have not been back to Florida in a minute and then I'm really hoping after Florida I can make it to Connecticut I have not been spending much time in Connecticut and I really missed it so much and it's starting to warm up at home and this is my favorite time to start riding again when it's not so cold. So anyways I will see you guys next Sunday.


Stevenson back in the wing column. They beat Albright tonight, 77 to 70 here at Owings Mills Gymnasium. Glenn Clark with Coach Gary Stewart. Coach, needless to say, this one feels good, I'm sure, for you, your entire program. It wasn't easy, but that was a good team on the other side of the floor. And you guys were able to hold on and get the win. How'd you do it? Well, we got off to a good start. And we got a contribution from a lot of different areas. Cornelius Bobo, I thought, played really well. Defensively, Damien played well, but it was a team effort. And I'm really proud of the guys. I thought two of our better practices in the last month, Monday and Tuesday. And that led into what we were able to accomplish tonight. Glad you mentioned Damien, because I wanted to bring him up. I also wanted to bring up in the second half, Evan Joseph. Some of the little things, the pump fake, letting the defender go by and knocking down a big three. I thought those two, maybe it doesn't stand out necessarily in the box score, but I thought those two were really big. Yeah, we need Evan to make plays for us in big moments. And he did tonight. He's got a tough assignment. He's guarding one of the best players in our conference. And to be able to do that on the defensive end and then come and provide some offense for us, we stood around and kind of got stuck in the mud there for about 12 minutes. And the ball stuck. But I thought at the end, we moved the ball better than we have maybe in the first half and got more concerted effort to get the ball inside. It seemed like the other thing that jumped out to me in the second half is this wasn't worm bailing you out, right? Like, he was struggling from the floor in the second half, and yet you were able to find answers. And Jalen, in particular, really soon just seemed to force the issue and say, all right, I'll put it on my shoulders. I got to be that guy. Yeah, we thought that he could get in the paint and create some things. And he was able to do that tonight. And how about him? He's got the torn labrum and just playing through that. That's a great, great lesson for our young people, for anybody in our program moving forward. And it was a really good effort by him tonight. Everything your team has been through to get back in the wing column, to get this feeling again, do you have enough time left that you still think this team has a push in them? Well, I think until you're out, you're in, right? And so we've just got to obviously go one game at a time. We're going to have a good weekend this weekend. We're guaranteed to that with the buy. And we'll get started on Wednesday. And I think if we come with the right attitude, the right energy, and the right focus, we've got a chance against anybody that we play. Coach, enjoy the week off. We'll see you next Wednesday. Thank you, Glenn. He's Coach Gary Stewart. I'm Glenn Clark for GoMustangSports.com.