Hey everybody, Lee Lowell here, smartoptionseller.com. How's everyone doing today? Today is Sunday, November 8th, 2020. Hey listen, if you're interested in selling put options or wanting to learn how to sell put options, I've got a great free video for you today. I've got your five step checklist on how to sell put options. So we're gonna get right into it today on how we do that, because at the smart option seller, that's all we do in selling put options is a great option trading strategy. For those of you who may not know what selling put options are all about, basically it's a way to obligate yourself to buy any stock that you want at a much cheaper price than we're currently trades. So you're basically putting in a low ball bid on buying a stock, not at its current price, but a lot cheaper than its current price. And you know what? Someone will pay you to make that transaction. It's incredible. We love selling put options. And I'm going to show you how to do that in five easy steps. So let's go right to our checklist, our five step checklist on how to sell put options. Number one, if you were going to sell a put option, the first step is you have to pick a stock that you wanna buy, right? It's all about buying stock. So you have to pick a stock that you wanna buy. And your second step is you have to pick the price where you wanna buy that stock. So let's just say you found a stock that you wanna buy, but you don't wanna buy it at its current price. You wanna buy it at a price cheaper than that. So you have to pick the price where you're willing to step in and buy that stock. Third step, you have to pick the expiration date. All options have an expiration date. So you have to pick the length of the trade. And I'll show you how you do that. We'll look at an example.  Now you just sell that put option and collect the cash. And that is actually called the premium. You sell the option, it's called, you're selling it and you collect the premium. That's the option price, the premium. Step number five, you just sit back and watch, wait and see what happens until the expiration date. So it's very, very simple. Selling put options is a five-step simple process. Now let's just go over once again what you're actually doing when you're selling a put option. And this is an incredible option trading strategy. Number one, you're interested in buying a stock, but you don't wanna buy it at its current price. What can you do? Well, you sell a put option at the price where you're willing to buy the stock. And you pick the expiration date, and then when you sell that option, someone will give you money. It's incredible. So let's take a quick look at an example here on how we can sell a put option. Now we're gonna look at a stock chart of AMD, advanced micro devices, great stock. We love AMD at the smart option seller. We play it all the time. So on Friday, November 6th, 2020, AMD finished today at $85.88. So market had a pretty good end of the week. So AMD is at $85.88. And you're saying to yourself, you know what? I love AMD. I wanna buy some shares of AMD, but I don't wanna buy it at $85.88. I wanna buy it at a much cheaper price or cheaper price. I wanna get a good deal. I wanna buy it cheaper than $85.88. What can I do? Do I wanna buy it at $82 and $80, $75, $70? Where can I buy shares of AMD? Now, in the open market, you have to buy it at $85.88 if you wanna get your hands on some shares. But by selling a put option, what you could do is obligate yourself for some time in the future to buy the stock at a much cheaper price. And someone will pay you to make that transaction. So where do you decide, where's the price that you should buy the shares of stock? What's a good value? Well, if we were to sell some put options on AMD, we would look to the charts to figure out, where's a good support area? What's a value area that we deem worthy of potentially buying shares of AMD? Well, by looking at the charts, we have our 200-day moving average right here, which is really what we consider the granddaddy of moving averages on stock charts because everybody looks at the 200-day moving average, very important number. So in this case, the 200-day moving average is sitting right around $62.50 right here. So we would, at first blush, we would say, okay, if we're gonna sell a put option on AMD, where would we wanna buy the shares of AMD? Well, it would be right at this 200-day moving average. That's $62.50, which is a nice $23 discount. It's where AMD is currently traded. So you'd say to yourself, well, how could I buy AMD at $62.50 when it's currently trading at $85? Well, you can't do that in the open market, but what you can do is put in a future obligation to do that sometime in the future. And for that future obligation, someone will pay you money today. So in our case, in this example, $62.50 would be the area where we would be comfortable buying AMD. It's a nice $23 discount. It's over a 20% cushion between the current price of AMD and here, right? That's almost a 30% cushion, right? That's almost 30%. That'd be a big drop. So anyway, so we've decided, hey, we wanna buy some shares of AMD. We don't wanna buy at its current price. Let's put in a lowball bid to potentially buy these shares sometime in the future. And $62.50 is our potential buy point. Now, remember, when you sell these put options, someone is going to pay you money, but you have to figure out, well, how much money can someone pay me? Well, now that your next step in the process is you have to go to the option chain and take a look at, you have to take a look at how much someone's willing to pay you, right? So we go to the option chain and we look at, we've got call options on the left, put options on the right. So we're only gonna concentrate on the right side of the option chain with the put options. And here are the strike prices. Here's all the levels where you could potentially buy, or at least contract yourself out to potentially buy shares of AMD in the future. So we're concentrating on the $62.50 level right here. And here's the put option prices. And all option prices, just like stocks, have a bid and ask market. And in this case, on Friday, November 6th, the 62.50 put went out at 45 cent bid at 69 cent offer. So whenever you trade an option contract, just as you would trade a stock, you wanna do something right in the middle, right in between the bid nests. You don't wanna sell right at the bid price. You don't wanna buy right at the ask price. You wanna contract yourself somewhere in the middle. So in this case, let's just say we sell that put option for 55 cents per contract. That's what you can do. And in the options world, every option contract consists of 100 shares of stock. It's called the 100 multiplier, 100 share multiplier. So you always have to multiply these prices you see here by 100, by 100. So if we were to sell this option for 55 cents per contract, you multiply that by 100, that's 55 actual dollars. So if you sell that put option, someone will give you $55 today for your future obligation to buy the shares of AMD at 62 and a half dollars. Now let's go back to the chart. So you might be thinking to yourself, is someone's actually gonna give me $55 today for the opportunity to buy AMD at 62 dollars and 50 cents? Yes, that's absolutely right. So someone's paying you to buy AMD at a discount somewhere in the future. And if we go back to the option chain, we're looking at the January 15th, 2021 options in this case, it's 68 days in the future. Now you could look at any expiration date you want. If you go out to March, the more time you give, the more money you get. So it depends on how long you wanna hold the trade for. Now let's look at the 62.50 puts here. That's $1.30 bid at $2.14 offer. Now, since the market is closed, these bid ask prices are very, very wide. When the market opens, a stock like AMD has a much tighter bid ask market. But in this case, let's just say, it's about maybe $1.70 per contract. So you'd get $170 by selling this put option versus $55 if you sold the January put option. So you have to choose the expiration date that jives with what you wanna do. In this case, we're choosing January, it's only 68 days in the future. So for the next 68 days, what you're doing is putting out an obligation to potentially buy shares of AMD for $62.50. So for the next 68 days, you're on the hook to buy the shares and someone will pay you $55. So let's go back to our document here, our cheat sheet.  What happens on expiration date in January? Well, there's only two things that can happen. There's only two scenarios that can happen in January, 2021. And that would be if AMD stock price is above the strike price of $62.50. If AMD is still at $85, that means the option will expire, it will expire worthless, it will have no value, it will just disappear from your account. And two things will happen at that point. Number one, you won't get to buy the shares of AMD, it's $62.50, that's life. You just don't get to buy the shares because AMD is still trading at $85. But you get to keep the $55 that you received on day one of the trade, of the transaction.  You can just repeat the process, do the trade again. The second situation is that if AMD actually does finish below your strike price of $62.50, that would have meant AMD fell from $85 all the way down to $62.50 in the timeframe that the trade was active.  You get to buy your shares of AMD for $62.50. And it's called being assigned the shares. So if that happens, if AMD stock is below $62.50, your broker will assign you the shares and you have to pay for them in full at that point in time. And that would be basically mission accomplished. You got to buy your shares at a $23 discount, almost a 30% discount from where AMD was trading on day one. And that's great, that's what you wanted. So at that point, you will have to pay for the shares in full, and let's go down to this next step here. And I should say, and also with that, if you have to buy the shares, you still get to keep the $55 that you received on day one, so you still get to keep that money. So you get to buy the shares and you get to keep the money, it's a great thing. So how do you manage a trade between now and January? Well, you're just sitting there waiting to see what happens. Well, number one, you will be assessed a margin requirement by your broker. Well, what's a margin requirement? A margin requirement is just an amount of your free cash funds that have to be held aside while the trade is active. Now, your broker's not going to just let you sell put options at random willy-nilly just because you want to sell put options and collect this income. Your broker needs to make sure you have some skin in the game. And by that, I mean, they're gonna make sure that some of your money is held aside while the trade is active. Well, how much money, how does that work? Well, the margin requirement is typically 10 to 20% of whatever the full cost of the stock would be if you had to pay for it in full. So in this case, let's just look at the example. The AMD January 6250 put option, if you had to buy 100 shares at that price, it would be $6,250, right? 100 shares times $62.50 is $6,250. Now, you don't have to keep all that $6,250 on hold at all times. The margin requirement is typically about 10 to 20% of that amount. Okay, if you look up here, margin requirement is roughly 10 to 20% of the full stock cost. And that depends on your broker. It depends on who your broker is. You can ask them, hey, what's the margin requirement if I sell a put option? And it's typically somewhere between 10 to 20%. So what would that be? That would be roughly $625 to $1,250. That's the 10 to 20% of this number right here. So while the trade is active between now and January, your broker's gonna have you hold aside. You can't use this money. You're gonna have to hold aside $625 to $1,250. And that number can fluctuate higher or lower depending on which way the stock moves between now and January. So that's all you're doing, right? Between now and January, you're just waiting to see where AMD trades. It's currently at $85 and change. It will it fall down to $6250 before expiration? That's the goal here, it's to see whether it will fall that far. And I told you there's two things that could happen. AMD's either gonna be above $6250 or below it. And that'll determine whether you get to buy the shares or not. Now, let's just say, okay, well, you're halfway through the trade.  I'm done holding this trade. I don't wanna hold this trading more. The good thing about options that is that you don't have to hold until expiration. You could unwind the trade at any time you want, which means you'll just have to buy that put option back. Remember, you sold that put option. If you wanna get out of the trade, you have to buy that same exact put option back. And that put option will have a price at that point in time. And that price will either be higher or lower than the $0.55 that you originally sold it for. So let's just say the option's worth $0.20 when you say, yeah, I wanna buy this back. Well, if you sold it at $0.55, now you could buy it back at $0.20. You'd lock in a $0.35 per contract gain. That'd be $0.35 you lock in. So you make some money. Now, if you buy the option back, the trade is done over what you have no more obligation. But let's just say the option contract's trading for $0.85 when you think you wanna get out of the trade. Well, now you're looking at a potential $0.30 loss or $30 loss because you have to buy that option back at more expensive price than what you originally sold it for. So that's up to you. You have to decide what you want to do. You either hold it until expiration and see where AMD stock ends up or you can get out at any time. And if you get out, you may end up getting out for either a profit or loss. So that's up to you to decide what you wanna do. So let's go back to the chart here. AMD, it's currently at $85.88. You're waiting to see if it's going to fall down to $0.62.50. If it does, you end up buying the shares, great, you're happy, and then you just wait to see if the stock goes back up over time. If AMD doesn't fall that far, then you just keep the money that you received on day one, which is $55 in this case. And you know what? Now you turn around and sell another put option for another couple of months in the future and you collect another batch of upfront income. So theoretically, you can just keep rolling and rolling and doing this trade over and over again. And if the stock never falls to your strike price, you never get to buy the stock, but at least you're getting compensated with money every couple of months. You're taking the cash. And you can decide how many contracts you wanna sell if you're interested in potentially buying 500 shares of AMD, then you can sell five put option contracts and you can collect 55 cents times five. So you're making money depending on what's your risk threshold, how many shares you wanna potentially buy. So selling put options is a great way to get this current income and to obligate yourself to potentially buy a stock at a cheaper price. Now you have to choose the level where you wanna buy that stock potentially and you have to choose the expiration date.  So it's a very easy process, five step process, easy, easy, easy. And let's just go back so you can see and you have this on the video, you can always look at this. So it's all about, you know, collecting the income and then potentially buying a stock at a later point in time. You're putting in a low ball bid to buy a stock that you want. Remember, you wanna sell put options on stocks that you want to buy. You don't wanna sell put options on just any random stocks. That is what we call a no-no. You don't wanna do that because you may end up having to buy the stock and it might not be a stock you wanna buy. So, you know, just be careful. Make sure you stick to stocks that you want to buy quality stocks and potentially hold for the long term. All right, so there you go. That's your five step process. I hope you got this. I hope you understand what it's all about and, you know, give it a try. It's a great way to, you know, make yourself some current income and potentially buy some great stocks at cheap prices. So what else can we do today? Well, as part of our videos, we like to take a look at the charts. We call this our Saturday synopsis. And actually today, so it's a Sunday. It's our Sunday version of the Saturday synopsis. We'd like to take a look at some charts, see what happened over the past week in the market and see what may happen moving forward. We'd like to take a look at some individual stocks. I can show you some, you know, chart patterns, things that I'm seeing. And, you know, it's part of smart option seller. We look for these patterns so we can sell put options and collect the money, potentially buy these shares at our buy price. So let's go right into it. We always look at the general market first. We always look at the SPY and which is the exchange traded fund for the S&P 500. We want to see the overall view of the market and the SPY is what gives it to us. So what happened this week?  And finally, yesterday, Saturday, November 7th, it was decided it was called that Joe Biden will be the next US president. So, you know, this is big, this is big here. And we were looking at the market last week.  Just skyrocketed higher. And I think the market was predicting that, you know, Joe Biden was going to win as the week moved on. It looked clearer that Joe Biden was going to become the next president. But at the same time, US Congress was still going to be divided between Democrats and Republicans. So that will sort of lead to some gridlock down the road, meaning not a lot of legislation or new laws will be passed to reign in Wall Street. And Wall Street likes that. They like the gridlock because sort of the status quo, things aren't really going to change that much. So Wall Street on Wednesday, Thursday, Friday last week had a huge jump in the market. So let's take a look at the S&P 500. So at the end of last week, we were down here. And I had shown the support line right at the 320 level or the 3,200 level on the S&P index itself, that it looked like the market was probably going to test the, you know, the 320 level. And this was the end of last week, Friday. We closed down here on the lows. Let's stretch this out a little. So this bar right here was, looks like we thought it may test the 3,200 or the 320 level. But as the week progressed, here's our move all last week. And I had been talking about the, we needed the market to get back above the 20 day and 50 day moving averages. Those are very important as well. And, you know, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, these three days last week, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, each bar is one day's worth of trading, blasted higher and took us back above the 20 day and 50 day moving averages. So that's a really, really great thing. Now, today is Sunday, November 8th. The futures market opens up at 6 p.m. Eastern time. So I'm very eager to see what's going to happen tonight at 6 p.m. Eastern when the futures markets open up. I have to believe, and this is just my guess here, is that the market is just gonna go massively higher. Now that the election has basically been called, we know who the winner is. The market doesn't have that uncertainty hanging over it anymore. And that is a good thing. And that's usually very, very bullish. So I'm thinking tonight, the market is just gonna jump higher and just start on the next leg of its move higher. Now, I wanna show you these price patterns. So what's happening here on the chart is what we're seeing is the W pattern, the W pattern. And let me show you this. This could be a very bullish type of pattern. And I'm just gonna mark this out and then I will, I'm gonna mark this out and I'll show you why it looks like a W. Let me edit this a little bit so you can see what I'm looking at. As I said, sometimes chart analysis, it's a little manual labor involved. So I have to go through a couple steps here to show you what the pattern actually looks like. So give me a second while I go through this. Change color, change the width of the line so you can really see the W pattern. Last step here. All right, so now there we go. Now you can see the W pattern really good and to know where the pattern will blow out or blow above. So basically you want the, here's the resistance line. So you have to know where the resistance is. So this is, the W pattern could be very bullish if it gets above the resistance line here. Okay, and let me go back to another chart. I'd show this before Intel had been making a W pattern before. This was a few weeks ago, made the W pattern. Here is the line in the standard resistance line. And you can see that Intel blasted through it. Once it blasts through it, it keeps going. Unfortunately for Intel, it had bad earnings come out and it just dropped it well below after that. It's unfortunate, but the pattern itself worked. Once it went through the resistance, it popped higher. So let's go back to the S&P 500. So I'm thinking, you know, if the S&P opens tonight, futures market and all day tomorrow, if it opens above it, it's just gonna continue on higher. So that's something that I'm looking for. Let's take a look at the NASDAQ. We'd like to look at all the indexes itself. NASDAQ, same thing. I'm not gonna draw it out, but you can see the W pattern right here. Okay, same thing. And here's the resistance line. So if the NASDAQ opens up tonight and tomorrow in the next couple of days above this resistance line, it's basically off to the races. So I'm looking at a very bullish environment here for the stock market. You know, Joe Biden has been declared the winner. Basically, we'll have a divided Congress which should still lead to somewhat of a gridlock. And so that is basically the status quo for Wall Street. Wall Street doesn't like big changes. So that could be very bullish. And let's take a look at the Dow Jones industrials. Look at the last of the indexes. Same thing. You can sort of see a W pattern coming on here. The end of last week, we talked about how the Dow bounce right on the 200-day moving average. There's the line right here. So it acted as major support and it just bounced. Look at that nice bounce right off the 200-day moving average. So this is very constructive for the market. I like what I'm seeing here and I think the next leg of this bullish move is going to happen. Especially since we're in a very bullish seasonal period. January through, I'm sorry, November through January is a very bullish three-month period. So we've got that on our side as well. Let's take a look at some individual stocks, see what happened there as well. We had looked at AMD. Let's bring the AMD up one more time. AMD, I had given the line of support right around the $74. I had put this line on the chart a couple of weeks ago, I think. And you can see that bounce, bounce, bounce at $74 every time. And sort of making a W pattern. Not so much, not as clear as on the other charts, but you've got some probably resistance here. But AMD just looks nice and strong. So I think it's going to keep going higher as well. Let's take a look at Apple. I like to look at Apple. Apple's been sort of meandering around. Come downs, come up. It's actually above the 20-day and 50-day moving averages, which is good. I'm bullish on Apple long-term. This is my long-term view. And I think now that it's gotten above the 20-day and 50-day moving average, and if we get some good movement tomorrow, I think Apple's going to start moving back up to try to take out its all-time highs. Amazon had a pretty good move at the end of last week as well. Here's where it ended last week, wasn't looking so good, then blasted higher. It's trading above the moving averages, which we like to see sort of a W pattern as well. I think a lot of these charts are going to be making this W pattern. And they're going to try to take out the all-time highs. What else do we see? Google, we look at as well. These are all these NASDAQ stocks that were major drivers from the bottom of the coronavirus. Look at Google. Once it had bounced off this 20-day moving average, back in September, it's just been off to the races. Also hit another all-time high again on Thursday last week. So Google, very strong. What else do we see? Tesla, we like to look at as well. Tesla, it's kind of been meandering around. We can also make the case that it's coiling into its triangle pattern. Let me show you what I'm seeing. You can sort of draw a triangle pattern. You connect the highs, you connect the recent lows, and now you've got the building of a triangle pattern here where the range just gets a little bit tighter and tighter and tighter. And once it reaches the apex of the triangle, it's going to blast off either upwards or downwards. I have to believe Tesla always has some bullish momentum. It's probably going to pop to the upside relatively soon. So that's some of the things I'm seeing. What other charts do we like to look at? Facebook is another driver. Facebook had a pretty good week. Had a good move Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, just like all the other stocks. Here's all-time highs for Facebook. So that's some of the things I'm seeing out in the market. I'm bullish here. I think this thing's going to go. I'm very interested in seeing what happens tonight in the futures market. So that's it. That's it for your Sunday version of the Saturday synopsis. Let's go back to the SPY one more time just so we're all on the same page here. See what we're seeing. We've got the W pattern. If it opens above the resistance line and the next couple of days stays above the resistance line, it's off to the races. We're on the next leg of this bull move. So be careful out there. This is just my opinion. And let's look at the VIX because I forgot to look at the VIX. We'd like to do that as well. The volatility indicator, VIX had a big down week. That meant that the market is going up, VIX goes down. So volatility is coming down again, getting cheap here. So I think that the, we still have the coronavirus cases going up around the world. That's unfortunate. We have these third quarter earnings still coming out. But I think the market itself is always looking ahead to brighter days. We've got vaccines that should be coming out relatively soon that could be put out around the world. The market, I think at this point with the US presidential election being over, we know who won, the market is happy. So I'm just, I'm feeling bullish here. That's just my take. It's not any kind of investment advice, but that's what I'm seeing on the charts. And I think that the charts are very telling. All right, so that'll do it here. Those are the charts we'd like to look at. Let me just show you one other thing here. I wanted to bring this up when we were looking at the AMD trade. I forgot to bring this up. This is a probability calculator. We'd like to see what are the chances of, the stock moving from point A to point B. And here's the AMD trade. So if we had sold that $6250 put option, what are the chances of AMD dropping from $85, 88 cents all the way down to $6250 in the next 68 days. And I'm sorry, I didn't bring this up before. But basically what the probability calculator's telling us is that there's only a 5% chance that AMD will drop the $23 in that time a lot. So if you're selling put options and you wanna know what are the chances that you'll get to buy AMD for $62.50, well, the probability calculator can tell you what that is. It's not a guarantee, but it's giving you a pretty good idea of the chance. So on here, the flip side is that it's about a 95% chance that AMD will stay above the strike price of $62.50. So you have your inputs up here. You put your strike price here and then you look at this box or this box. And it'll tell you what are the chances of AMD falling down to your strike price in the time allotted. Now you could change the stock price, change the expiration date, the future volatility number that you have to get from another source. And I wanna show you that as well. And that is on the iVolatility website. Let me just bring that up so you can see.  Now this is a volatility chart. The current volatility levels around 42, 43%. If you've got two different types of volatility, you've got historical and implied and you see where they both currently are right around 42%. So we go back to the calculator and I put in 45%. I just use a little bit of higher number. And if I had changed this to 42%, you'll see how the numbers at the bottom change, click go. So now there's only a 3.93, almost 4% chance that AMD will fall down. Conversely, there's a 96% chance that AMD is going to stay above $62.50. So there's not a high chance that you'll get to buy the shares at 62.50 because AMD is not gonna drop $23 in that amount of time. So it's very important. Take a look at the probability calculators.  If you wanna learn more about how to sell put options other than watching this video, go for any of you newcomers, download our put selling basics free guide. Tells you all about selling put options. You can click on this link. It'll take you to a different page or you can just put in your name and email address right here on our homepage. Lastly, we do sell put options in our newsletter. That's what we do. We have our newsletters. You click on the services tab here. Our smart options seller newsletter is all about selling put options. That's what we do here. We have our vertical spread trader newsletter. We sell put option credit spreads. It's just another way of taking advantage of the market. And lastly, our service of one-on-one coaching if you want some help, getting up to speed, getting your options trading game to the next level. Okay, well that's it for today. That's it for me. As you watch this YouTube video, don't forget to hit the red subscribe button in the bottom right-hand corner. Also, give me a thumbs up. Leave a comment if you wish. Send me a question, write a question below if you want. I'm always here to help. I'm always here to answer. Okay, so that'll do it for me. That is it. I hope everyone has a great weekend and I will see you all next week. This is Lee Lowell, signing off.


I'm Sophia. Steve is a nickname. So if that comes up, that's my name. I also use she, her pronouns. Today we will be starting off with coming out stories if who should tell us your story. I will do that. That's a fun topic, isn't it? Coming out something every queer person dreads, even if you got a good family, you still dread it. It's just a part of it. My coming out was less than ideal. We can say it like that. The first time I came out at like different times for each person, officially. So I came out to my mom first, officially. And that was a really bad time because we would drive home. We went against food, we were driving home. And I turned to her. Steve's my mom. I turned to her. And I was like, Mom, I'm bisexual, by the way. And that was exactly her reaction. And she just laughed. And after that, after I turned to her, I just went back to the window. You're the window. I went back and I was like, Nope, we're going to hide now. And I just didn't say anything for the rest of the car ride. She didn't either. It was me coming out, her laughing, nothing. It's just silence. And I just wanted to get out of there. And obviously I couldn't because I can't jump out of a moving car. I mean, it could. It's not recommended. I don't think doctors recommend jumping out of a moving car. I don't think, yeah. Don't do that. So awkward. And then my sister, well, then after I showed my mom I was bisexual, she had told my father. And obviously I didn't want that because I was going to tell, my plan was to tell her, gauge her reaction and then from there build upon what I was going to do. So like, figure out from her reaction, if I should tell my dad, if I should tell my sister, if I should tell my less immediate family, I didn't exactly have that choice because on it, it was kind of my fault. I should have thought about it like, yeah, they're a unit, they're going to talk to each other. They're going to talk about their children. That's what, that's their whole thing. They got children together. They got converse. And then I asked my dad because I had the feeling that my mom had told him. And I asked my dad and he was like, Oh, yeah, your mom told me, but I already knew. How? How did you know? I actually know how he knew, a feeling, maybe, I don't know. And I never formally came out of my sister either. That was more awkward, if possible. So I had a while before I came out to my mom, officially, I wrote down a, on a sheet of paper, the different sexualities and tried them out.  So I didn't really know what I was going to call myself.  So my sister, I forgot about the paper I was doing in the bag. My sister needed to use my bag for something. And she dumped out the bag on her floor, used it, and when she came back, she saw the little paper on the floor, she picked it up, unfolded it, I assume read it, walked into my room and held it up and said, Jules, do you need to talk about something? And I said, no. And then I believed what she said afterwards was, it's okay, I thought I was pansexual too for a while. See, I don't think I kind of know. I didn't say that, afterwards I just kind of pushed her out and told, and just forgot about it, right? I wasn't going to deal with it, I just left it. That was my coming out to my immediate family, and I have more family to come out to. So I went to that, even more exciting and more awkward, because I can always make things more awkward, can I? That coming out store, I had to come out to my grandmother and grandfather. We went to a dinner with them, me, my dad, my sister, my mom, and my grandmother and grandfather. So my grandmother asked me, how's school been, what are you doing? I went into talking about a little bit about the GSA, and I don't remember exactly how it came up, but I think I looked over to my mom because I had asked her a few days prior about coming out to them. I looked over to my mom, she nodded, and I was like, okay, I guess I'm doing this. So I said, I'm tracking the girls and guys. And my grandfather was fairly silent during that, but my grandmother had a few words to say about it. I believe her first reaction was, yeah, I can see an attractive girl walking down the street and thinks she's attractive, any woman can. No, not exactly how I'm feeling. I actually am like attracted to the girl. So I had to explain that, which was weird to explain the different kinds of attraction to your grandmother. And afterwards, I think my grandmother looked at me, she'd be talking to my mom because my mom was trying to explain my sexuality to my grandmother, and she looked over at me, my grandmother, and she said, I don't want you to feel like you're forced into being queer. What? It's like one of the most accepting communities. What do you mean I'm being forced into being queer? I'm being forced into being straight. Just kind of backwards when you think about it. And my mother, I don't remember what lit up in her saying, but she said, Julia is, and I quote, boy crazy. No, not really, no. Even prior, I was not someone who was like romantic in general. Nor should I be because I was like 12, 13, I don't remember. And to say I'm boy crazy when I'm coming out as queer, what? It just baffled me and I was just silent and I was like, okay, thanks for coming out for me, mom. And then we left. So I come from a family of awkward people. I know. Would you prefer to go or would you like me to go? I just want to cover maybe a few like tips to learn from that experience. Yeah, so I think that timing is a very important thing when you're coming out or in any situation where you're telling someone important news. And so it's good to find a time where the person is in sort of the right mood. If you can, to tell them and probably in a place where you have somewhere to sort of escape. Run. So maybe not in a car is probably better if you're in your house or somewhere where you can leave the room and give them time to think or leave and have your own space if it's awkward. So I think those are definitely a couple things to learn from that. Yeah, I also think it would be best honestly to just come out all at once. Yeah, because like how what happened is I ended up being outed so I didn't come out all at once. So if I had just sat everyone down in my immediate family we would have been a lot easier because I wouldn't have to go through separate awkward experiences just one big one. Yeah, it's always going to be awkward. Like no matter what it's going to be awkward and uncomfortable, even if you have kind of an accepting family, they see you one way and then you're like, I'm actually this for anything. It's awkward. Also something like allies should think about a lot that someone should never be forced into coming out and if someone comes out to you you should always ask them who it's okay to tell or if it's okay to tell anyone at all because being outed can be dangerous and certainly awkward and probably puts you in positions you don't want to be in. So definitely if you're an ally or just anyone if someone comes out to you as anything at all just make sure to communicate with them about who they've already told and who you should tell because that's definitely important. I agree. Yeah and I also think for allies or anyone that is having someone come out to them know how hard it is to just say it out loud like how hard it was for me to say I'm bisexual even more bisexual and just like the courage that it takes to build up and then also without having to have that choice taken away from you when it's meant to be your choice who you come out to where when all of that that's meant to be what your decision because your life and who you want to share it with and then to have that kind of rip from you is like a horrible feeling. It's painful. Yeah it's like it's literally like something was ripped out of you what you didn't want it to be. I mean what you guys are saying is like it just really makes a lot of sense. I think it really does kind of really like one of the most important things is where and when you do it. Yeah. It's just the matter of like feeling comfortable when you do it and like feeling like you're ready to do it. It's all it's like it's about how you're feeling about the situations and or whatever it may be that you're nervous or unsure about. Yeah. I'm going to jump back to stories of coming out really quick. That could add one quick thing. Yeah go ahead. I'm sorry. So when I came out I did it very suddenly and abruptly and I didn't think about anybody's feelings but my own which is can be good where it's like you because you have to think of yourself every once in a while but it's also not so good because you have to have a healthy balance for it like you need to do it in a way that's not just so like abrupt and almost aggressive because like because it's it's it's hard for parents again to hear that their that their kid is what something that they thought like you think of your kid as one way turns out they're not and you have the future planned out for your kid so it's you also like especially when you come out to parents you do have to take their feelings into consideration which is something that I didn't do when I came out abruptly I was like this is me this is who I am if you don't like it deal with it and my family didn't deserve that they cared about me they didn't deserve to just have me come out so randomly and abruptly. I think that's a good point but it's also it's it's very good to consider other people's feelings but it's it's very important to remember that coming out is about you and their feelings while they are valid are not something that should interfere with you or your identity or your coming out so don't think too much about what other people think when you're coming out although you do have to make sure you're not putting yourself in a dangerous situation anyway but it's good to remember that it's about you and that they can't they shouldn't be able to have any effect on that yeah you want to go into stories um if you guys are cool with that um I would I'm gonna say I'm I feel lucky that it went the way it did because I know there's a lot of there's many much worse situations and um I actually I've only like told like in my immediate family like face to face like did it come up I've told like one person and then other times they just asked me and um they're like oh it was actually before I was gonna come uh film the first episode of this show that I was in um my grandparents who I live with right now um are they were like so just like a heads up are you gonna come out as anything on this show like are you gonna come out as like um trans or uh bisexual or lesbian and I'm like no and then I walked away awkward smile and then I came back and then I was like hey um more fingertips yeah yep yep bring up my awkwardness again um no I it's my doing um but then I was like oh hey yeah um that's a little gay just wanted to give you a heads up there yeah that's I lied and then the other person I I like to talk about what I'm doing like these shows and GSA and things like that like I love to talk about that stuff like it's my favorite and then I I'm surprised I wasn't asked this sooner like I was somewhat immediate family uh I was with that so person a few weeks ago and um I you were I was talking about youth leadership day and um I was just um we were just talking and they said they were like so don't mind me asking and they just went on and like it was really nice to just feel like because they were okay with it they were just wondering and I felt like it was I kind of hesitated at first but then I was kind of more okay with it towards the end of the conversation and then so that's that's uh immediate family which consists of my grandparents one parental and um another thing um yeah then there's um the other side of my family I mean I'll just say it right now that was I my mom knows my dad does not know he lives across the country um he's cool with it he's a pretty cool cat in terms of those things but he just he talks he does he tells my his mother everything like tells his girlfriend a lot of things not that I'm not cool with her knowing but I don't know how she feels about that stuff and I mean my his mother is also she's cool with it but it's her husband who I'm personally like really nervous for the time that that comes to have to or if I feel comfortable telling them because I know that he will just reject the whole idea like he's not cool with that stuff like I've talked with him I'd just be talking to my like other family members about it and he'll just say these rude and unnecessary remarks about it and like it's just not okay like so I am a little bit nervous to kind of come out to that side of my family because of him I know I shouldn't be scared of one say being but I don't want that to separate me from the rest of my family I didn't mean to ramble on I just wanted to put that out there but anyways it could be a lot worse and I'm okay with the situation I mean yeah things could always be worse but as an invalidate what's happening to others like you or other people like even though you're not in a entirely humble family it still sucks for lack of a better word it absolutely sucks to be afraid of your family members that's I mean that no one should have to go through yet it's really common to be afraid of members of your family and be afraid of what they have to say about you when and what Oliver said people shouldn't affect your ability to be yourself but they still do people still feel like family especially they feel like they have a say in your life when some may like your parents yeah they raise you they have a say in your life but like no one else really does like you get to choose who you surround yourself with and you you get to choose your own life you get to choose your identity and how you feel and all of that well you don't have to choose how to feel yeah it's just with like that side of the family they're like ridiculously conservative and so it's different it's way different than like thinking about it like how it should be but and yes I can surround myself with who I want to it's just like it's when you have these people who you know will not want you for who you are really really kind of sucks because you know that you just can't say anything because it's also not that it would affect my safety but it could affect someone else's safety like if someone was in a similar situation where they just like they didn't feel safe coming out it that's a big thing but like yeah that's not what I'm going through it's just that's a big thing and it's just like total rejection is a fear of probably everyone that I can think of like just anyone in general but especially when you're coming out it's just it's overwhelming it's just anyways oh yeah that one and what you said about danger it might suck again for lack of a better word it sucks to to know that if you come out you're in danger that's when you don't come out no matter like you hate to have to keep it inside of you because you like when you realize it it's a fantastic feeling and you almost want people to know because you can be you can just let it out because you kept it inside of you for so long but if it's going to put you in a place where you are danger and your safety is compromised keep it in it's horrible until you can get away yes but your safety needs to come first and always yeah always like if you are in danger don't come out if you're if you know your family will reject you kick you out do worse things they can do worse things don't say anything just it be that silent kid maybe find someone you can trust and talk to someone that's what i was gonna say like just people that you just surround yourself with the good people that when you can either don't care like what your sexuality maybe they're just looking for you like it's you it's not your sexuality it's not your like it's just your personality that's all you have to like just find those people that something you see a lot actual people are defined by their sexuality yeah like in media too it's like oh this character's gay you happy now lgbtq plus community don't give them any personality let them ever it just like oh they're gay that's a whole personality yeah that's it that's all you got yeah there you go that's it yeah it's like there's more to us you know we have personalities and feelings and all that we're not just gay there's more yeah i think the sexuality and gender is definitely like a great way to express yourself and it's a very important part of your identity but at the same time um it shouldn't affect how you're treated in any way and it shouldn't affect how your family feels about you yeah it shouldn't define you um and you can express it and be proud of it and that's great but at the same time it's not so great to be you know just like the token trans kid walking down the street like oh yeah that's the trans kid or that's the gay kid or whatever it is school too yeah and it's something where um a lot of like straight cis people think of it as like you know we're accepting them or we're like admitting that oh we have you know an LGBTQ person in our school community isn't that great but they don't actually go and talk to the people they don't um fully acknowledge that they're people not just labels and not just you know something you can put in um you know the description of your school website oh yeah we're inclusive of the LGBTQ community you're not inclusive unless you appreciate the people for everything rather than just the fact that they're part of a certain group and that goes for everything I told that's a great point I really think that was yeah so going back to coming out stories all of it if you're comfortable if I totally I'm gonna um we'll be having hopefully um in the near-ish future a trans specific episode of the show where I have some other um trans guests with me so yeah I think uh that would be a great time to go into coming out because it's um it's very different like coming out as trans it's you know similar experience but at the same time it would be difficult to go into that without talking about you know how to be a trans ally and all that so I think that would be a great thing to talk about as trans almost part of coming out as a sexuality well it's something that um I think if you're like if you come out as you know gay your parents can say you know oh you're not really gay and that's you know that sucks that really sucks but at the same time um that I mean it might affect how you express yourself but you can still be gay and be you know like well if you come out as trans and your family rejects you you can't make any changes to yourself or your name or anything like that and so that affects you a lot in terms of like self-confidence and dysphoria and all of that which is also something we'll go into in the next episode but it's definitely a different experience not to say it's necessarily worse or that it can't be completely awful to come out as um like come out with your sexuality but um it's definitely a different thing and I think we've talked a lot about the bad parts of coming out but like what Steve said would learn a pretty good place like we're lucky to be able to be this this way but there also are some really good aspects coming out because it's like it's freeing it's just like you get it off your chest and it's like there's this moment before anything happens and you just set it and it's like pause in like time where you feel amazing because you set it it's out there it's that people hurt it you're out it's out in the world and then people open up their mouths and it gets a lot worse but in that just like split second where you're just nothing has affected you yet it's just this best feeling of pure bliss in my experience could just like here you are we're all do with it what you please that's me and then come to the reaction which suck and it's not good but also um I mean that sort of getting it off your chest is great and um even though their initial reactions might not be what you expected or might not be great um that doesn't mean your chances at being accepted in your family or wherever it is are ruined and a lot of people are just uneducated or um they speak really quickly because they're shocked or they say something they don't mean or they don't they don't understand what you're saying um so a lot of the time it's just really important to make sure you're giving people resources and it's not your job to educate them but they might come to you with questions anyway and it's good to um it's good for allies too to make sure just that you're educated and that you understand and do research if someone comes out to you because um that definitely helps to be more accepting so and yeah what you said about it's not your job to educate them I was at a family dinner so many family dinners in this episode I was at a family dinner and um we got on the topic of uh sexualities and all of that and then people were just coming at me with a thousand questions so much and they just expected me to know everything and I'm like guys I've been a part of the gsa for like a few months I don't know everything and it was just so many questions and they weren't almost they weren't even like posed nicely like if you pose if you say the questions nicely it's not as bad but in my household questions are asked through screaming and very loudly and very loudly and not the best way so it's just this overwhelming feeling and like it's not your like like you said about being labeled I was in that moment I was labeled as the queer kid I was the one who's supposed to know everything I don't know anything I know very little about this community and like if I said something wrong that could change their whole outlook on it and it's just terrifying because but people didn't get that you can find better resources than just a 13 year old kid and it's like it's not our it's not my job as the one queer kid in our family to explain to you everything because I don't know everything yeah sorry I'm not trying to like rush us along we need to cover um some more things just really quickly we can always come back if we have time um so um Oliver if you're cool like just do you want to give us just a little bit about the Trevor project right yes so I have to admit I don't know a whole lot about the project but we'll probably um go into detail about that another time um we're hoping to have like um a suicide specific episode um later but we just wanted to read off a few uh phone numbers for you so that uh if you're questioning your sexuality or um have questions about your gender just anything like that um there's a number you can text with questions and um just any problem you might be having this is not like an emergency number the one I'm reading so uh if you're having an emergency this isn't the one to text but uh the text line is seven two four eight eight eight seven two seven seven yes and if for immediate help I'm pretty sure this is the line you can call it's eight six six four eight eight seven three eight six and I think we'll have that number that is the suicide one no that that or that's not the national hotline the national hotline is one eight hundred two seven three eight two five five and suicide can't be an option I'm just we just can't have that it's so be so common it's so common it's just this number is like life saving so even if you're just hearing about someone who's having issues or contemplating call it's there for a reason so not going to get into a huge discussion but just that that's important yeah it like it doesn't also have to be if you're contemplating suicide it can be if someone you know is contemplating suicide that's yeah that's what you were talking about yeah and also just a small thank you about that if you are feeling depressed or like you don't want to live anymore I've dealt with something like that where I just felt like oh I'm just being dramatic I'll get over it I'm just being a teenager don't feel like you're being dramatic just text the number they don't there's no judgment there because they it's for you it's for you to get help yeah on like even if you don't think you need it but like I thought just crosses your mind you can still just like shoot some of the text to be like it doesn't have to be like a situation where you're I'm gonna do it now yeah just like I'm yeah you don't have to be you don't have to be in a situation like where you don't call until you're very sure you're going to commit suicide it's something that if it's if you're thinking about it or if it's something like your friend is thinking about or just whatever it is it doesn't have to be like you don't you shouldn't wait to call so if you're thinking about calling or texting just do it rather than waiting yeah and um it's like don't always wait until the last moment like they were saying because sometimes like it takes a little bit of time to get relief or help or something like if you're feeling not immediate if you're yeah if you're worried about your safety like call after you like are really having some like and you just don't feel like you want to go to anyone it's just I mean do what you need to do not that's suicide don't do that yeah no don't do that no that idea absolutely not um but go to someone if you can before you call because that's for absolute emergencies but if you're just feeling down or just feeling like you could maybe talk to someone first and if you just need instant relief that's what the numbers for and I think we can get more to that's about the specific episode yeah I'm just gonna ask them really quick nowadays suicide has become so common that it's glorified and you will see kids online just be like oh my god I'm gonna kill myself and you can't tell if they're being serious or not it could be a joke because I hear kids in class being like oh I want to kill myself and I'm like should I be worried and then it's like no and I'm like why did you say it it's not a funny topic and like you'll see shows like nothing to bring an example 13 reasons why they glorified suicide and that they showed graphic the script like things of suicide and they almost like literally gave you a step by step on how to commit suicide not I mean it's because it's a good show but society comes so glorified now it's just not kids see it as something like oh yeah you can do that just it's basically just giving tips like no absolutely not and you'll find the weirdest things about suicide are blind and like the darkest things and it when you see that stuff and you're thinking about committing suicide that doesn't help yeah it's play that I play or anything about it you just don't want to just it should I uh I'm sorry I can't afford words right now okay I mean if I think we should save that because I think that's a great topic for an episode so I think the plan is for in two months it'll probably be keeping coming at you but I think what we should kind of try and fix a little bit about now um is kind of like kind of makes kind of topic but like reactions to coming out and the it's just a phase issue that's a fun sentence yep um I'm sorry I'm gonna rub you for a minute I feel like everyone any queer person has once in their life heard subversion of that it may not be directly it's just a phase but it's there yeah and um it's I think what we should kind of talk about is like a if it if you like your thoughts on it and then like other things like if you have like stories or anything like of either like seeing it or but whatever you guys want to do I just think that might be let's start with thoughts on it so yep Oliver yeah thoughts on it's just a phase so I personally hate that and I hate when people say that and I think um it's just irrelevant honestly um I think it doesn't matter whether it's a phase or not because if it is parents and friends should be supporting people through their phrases as long as it's not harmful to that person or other people it's not it doesn't matter if it's a phase or not so um I think that if that most of the time kids who are trans or who are queer when they come out they mean it and it's coming out is a big thing as we talked about before so um you definitely wouldn't come out unless you're almost completely sure so I think um it's that's not really that's not the most sensitive good thing to say when someone comes out to you at all um and that phases if it is um lead to sort of realization and it's good to have um sort of periods where you're exploring yourself or your identity or different terms or pronouns or whatever it is and that um there are different stages along the way to realizing what labels or what terms or what fits with you best and then like I talked about before how much courage it takes to be coming out and then to be hit with it's just a phase you'll get over it yeah yeah you'll get over it is almost like still crushing because like it's rude what do you mean it's just a phase it's so rude it's it's literally not also like it like you may go through like a little like with bubble I'll say of just being like like exploring things but experimenting it if someone tells you like what their gender is or like if they're telling you something brand new information like when just yeah someone comes out to you someone says the pronouns they want someone says the sexuality they want you respect that crap it doesn't matter if it's a phase you respect what they said about their self and their identity because you nobody knows your own identity better than you so who are you to tell me just a phase yeah like maybe it is who knows maybe it is and that's fine it's okay if it just to be a phase but doesn't matter if it's a phase if I come out to you respect it and respect me yeah I think um people also ask kids to be sure and ask kids to pick labels okay and sure um or just people in general regardless of age and I've been asked several times you know do you think this is permanent which is something that I think is kind of a stupid question to ask honestly because um I I don't think I have to admit that I don't know if you know what's permanent and what's not I thought I was female for you know like more than a decade and that wasn't permanent even though I thought it was but everyone else accepted that as permanent exactly so if so I don't think it's good to assume that something's permanent but it's not good to assume that it's a phase either I think you should just be open to anything and people changing their mind yeah and I think if if I'm sure then you should be sure and that goes for everything and um and if I'm not sure then respect that and just support support people whether they're sure or not you were talking about like is it permanent or are you sure I wasn't sure when I came out as bisexual I was wrong I use different terminology now no I wasn't sure no I might not ever be sure that doesn't that's that does not matter if I say I come out to you was I come out to you as bisexual one day the next day I say no actually I think I'm panicked the next day no I'm just queer it doesn't matter if it's flip flopping all over the place that happens it's just how you feel comfortable yeah and like you can change the terminology you use yeah because like you might one day find something that fits you better than what were you previously using and some people take that like when I figured out that I was queer I didn't want to say it because I think I was lying and I'm doing self-retention but it shouldn't be that way you should be able to change terminology yeah they shouldn't be such a big deal when someone uh isn't sure and um if someone comes out to you and then you know however much time later comes out to you something different don't use that as an excuse to say something like see you know it is just a phase or you are just um you're never sure of anything stuff like that it just that's not a fair thing to say and it puts us in a position uh when you're asking if something's permanent that is kind of vulnerable if someone asks me is this permanent or are you sure and I say no they're not going to respect my pronouns or my identity and if I say that I am sure and then later I tell them I'm not or that I'm using a different term they're going to be confused so I think it's just good to accept that things come in stages and it doesn't matter yeah and one thing that I you could find almost funny in a sense is that what I was straight people was people accepted that immediately they were like oh yeah she's straight she's sure she's positive she's straight it's just social norms yeah it's like heteronormative yeah bugs because straight and straight insist are the default when in reality personally I think everyone or when they're born pansexual then you come out as the specific genders you like so that straight isn't the norm anymore anything is the norm just where is the norm and then you could from there you could say mom and only attracted to females mom and only attracted to males and just that way it wouldn't be such like everyone would have to go thick coming out that would be good because then everyone would get an understanding of it yeah it's just like the expectation when you're born it should be like yeah okay you figure it out for yourself like we're not going to talk to you about it not going to influence your decisions force anything down your figure it out like deal with it just go over there deal with it you're two you can you can do it you're two you can know what a fracture is just go play with the other little kids and figure yourself go eat the dirt it's okay it builds your it builds your it builds your but I think I don't think I somewhat agree with what I definitely agree that straight shouldn't be the norm straight insist shouldn't be the norm but that's just it just how it is like I know what I said it's never gonna happen yeah um yeah I think it's kind of idealistic of course yeah I'm not uh you know when you said like the norm should be pansexual and then you come out yeah I think I think they're um they're just it shouldn't be coming out shouldn't be a thing you shouldn't have to come out you should just be able to live your life without people assuming either way or asking you because it's private information and it's asking a lot for people to share that um and I think that it shouldn't be a big deal I think my kids should be able to just come up to me and say hey I'm using these pronouns now without it being a huge deal and I'll just say okay I think it should be able to talk to their parents and just tell them whatever they're feeling yeah without it being coming out I think the biggest thing is just just tip your parenting right here from a child here's how you parent um oh god what was it was like make it easy for your kids to talk to you just listen just yeah just don't have to say anything just set up let them talk just and like because like I think a lot of kids find it really hard to talk about their parents without anything like the sex talk people find it harder to talk about that that shouldn't be a hard thing to talk about coming out shouldn't be a hard thing to talk about they should be a hard thing to talk about especially with your parents someone who is so close to you you should be able to tell them everything give anything hopefully should be able to discuss anything with your parents because they have the closest blood relationship with to you that anyone will have yeah that's definitely a good tip I feel strange giving tips to parents because I'm 13 well like 13 year olds like years like a parent but at the same time it's also just about being an ally and um I think it's okay I don't I don't want to run parents lives but I do think it's okay for kids to be telling their parents how to have a better relationship because it should be something where you give each other feedback and say hey I think we need to talk about this more and it's great to be open but um also kids should have a right to their privacy like Steve we were saying um people asked you whether you were queer which is probably not the best approach they were just like straight out with it they were just like kind of hinting at it but like so are you yeah I think yeah yeah I feel like I also feel like with my coming out experience how I used to relate it back to you guys I might have made it dramatic because like I ain't no from my parents perspective they might be like oh yeah as you came out I've been to me it's like so crushing and I'm probably being entirely dramatic right now but that's how it feels in the moment it feels like feels like a big thing when they do it's like you almost just want it like you're like confident going into it then you're just like deflated oh it's like a balloon fizzling out yeah it's just not it's like roller coaster of emotions this is what a roller coaster looks yep yep it's totally what it looks that looks like an octopus okay okay that works too an octopus of emotions there you go so many levels so what a kid okay and we're moving I mean we can talk about octopies I mean that I'm down honestly okay octopies is that a thing I mean probably okay okay okay we're getting off dropping we've digressed a lot so we talked slightly about tips from allies yeah I think I know I'm just saying like I think maybe we should cover just a few of our like personal tips for allies just in the topic of like coming out because there's a lot of things that allies should know from us and maybe we'll just cover part of it and then I think to end the episode we can just go with our takeaways on what we have like our main statements take away so personal tips for you I would say just make sure that you have or that you try to have as positive a reaction as possible and make sure to praise the person and tell them like how much courage it does take for them to come out even if you're not sure exactly what that means or you need to ask them later hey what does that actually mean to be pansexual you know it's still um it's still yep it's still something or go it's a question I yeah I think it's are you trying to go that's what I got yeah when I was having a pansexual they were like seeing uh trying to do goats anyway anyway like animals yeah you still need to be like supportive and um just friendly kind to the person whether or not uh you have a different thing to say later because initial reactions are very important and um it gives people a lot of confidence if you react positively and it's okay to ask questions later but that's one big tip um I think also just don't bring up the it's just a phase topic in any way just don't say anything but even like just be cautious of it because as we discuss like it doesn't matter and that's just an irrelevant point that you don't need to make so um yeah just be kind and supportive and don't bring up it's just a phase thing yeah read so tips for me I guess is at least in my personal experience you can ask questions as long as you ask them in a respectful and kind manner like don't over like don't drown them in questions about sexuality because you don't know I don't I didn't know how to answer it like especially with sexuality or gender you don't know you don't know anything of it like teenager dumb is the part where you just don't know anything you don't ask questions just don't just well you can't ask questions just be just be kind about it and know that they might not have an answer yet your turn be patient okay that's a good one yeah patience is key in these situations something I don't have uh I mean sometimes questionable um no you just sorry um I I think like just just if you have any things that you think like may come off badly or like affect the person in some way just save questions until a separate time when things aren't heated and frazzled and when you're hyped about a general yeah like yeah like just wait to ask those questions like they may or may not have an answer just be ready for whatever may come at you just like be aware of like the like like you guys have said like how hard it is and how like difficult it is to like work yourself up to that stuff and like just be cautious of like how it could bring someone down even if you ask like a question that's not intended to be bad just just think about timing again here comes timing but like it's important to end off the episode why don't we do final statements and take away and start back the line all of us okay um um I think probably one of my biggest takeaways is um just to be like aware of other people's feelings as an ally um and that when you're coming out yeah yeah when you're coming out it's good to be aware of other people's feelings but mainly just as an ally be aware when it's like to come out um even if you don't fully understand so react well be positive and supportive and um don't like belittle people by telling them um it's just a phase or you're too young or anything like that so I think that's my takeaway my takeaway was just something that actually I said um respect people doesn't matter who they are doesn't matter what's going on respect them like their opinions and not affect you hopefully um just be cautious and plan out your stuff what you're gonna say when you're gonna do it it's all about the plans and yeah is that anything else no there's one announcement about there's um I don't know if this whole this episode will come out in time for this to be effective but there is a youth march on saturday the 24th um from 12 to 2 p.m at the state house so lgbtq plus ally whoever you are just show up and give some support thank you so much for watching this has been all things lgbtq plus youth edition and we'll see you next month


Yeah, I think we were beaten by the better team today. I thought Melbourne were very good. I thought we were very bad, and that's not a good combination when you're planning against a team that's informed. So sometimes you have to accept it when you're not at their races or you're not playing to your levels. We didn't play to our levels today. They obviously did, and they got the three points. Do you think you were bad for the full 90, because you did take a leave early on and you seemed to have an idea of what you were trying to accomplish, but it was the full 90 for you? Yeah, I think we showed glimpses. I think this season we showed glimpses of being a good team, and other times we've gone away from doing what we're trying to build here. And from the first few minutes, I know they're going to put you under pressure at certain times because they're a good team. When you get your noses in front, that's important. You probably get to half time, and that's probably the frustrating thing was we were unable to get to half time from a free kick, if it was or it wasn't, and a wonderful finish. Okay. No? No. Your view, just not a free kick, or unhappy that Craig Noon was allowed to take it as quickly as he was? Well, I don't know what has been Craig Noon and the referee have agreed. I don't think you've seen a goal like that for many, many years in football, because I think you're under the impression that you have to wait for the whistle or something like that. So I don't know. It's a wonderful finish. We should be switched on. Let's not take anything away from that, from the goal, because that's what you want to see is good goals. I don't think it's a free kick. If you look at the free kick, if it's a free kick for a push from Ziggy Gordon on the player, the players will go that way, but my players this way, so no, it's not a free kick. But two minutes earlier, there was another incident of a non-free kick as well, which annoyed me a little bit more, and it was two or three in a row. Just to clarify for a second, so you didn't hear the ref by the whistle or your players did? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, no, I can't hear from over there. I haven't. You looked as if Noon spoke to the ref, so they can take it. I mean, I'm sorry. Yeah, no, of course. And if that's the case, and that is allowed, which I'm not sure it is, I don't know. It's a good goal. It's a good finish. Forget whether there was a whistle or not. I don't know. It was a great finish by the boy, but we should be switched on. We stand on the ball, and he kicks against us. Does he give us a yellow card or not a yellow card? Do we wait? Yeah. Yeah, so there's so many permeables to it. Well, it did sort of spark what looked like a fair bit of a blow-up between yourself and Penny Kislopo and the sidelines. Trust me, that's not a blow-up. Just to stay in bed? Yeah, I think there's difference of views, difference of opinions, views that you have as coaches, as players. It happens on the pitch. Sometimes it happens. You know, we're both passionate people, strong-minded people. You know, when you're new into management, you have your own ideas and that lot, so no problem. When City took the lead, 52nd minute, they go two and up, three minutes later, it's three-one. They have another goal disallowed after that. Did they go to another level at some point? Did your side, because we've seen them do that in the past three or four games, I've had these 10 or 15-minute spells. How did you stop that? Well, you've probably got to break the game up. That's the reality of it. I was tampering with thinking of making a substitution prior to it going to two-one, and then by the time we're about to get it done, it goes three-one. They score goals in bursts. You're at your most vulnerable, either when you score or when you concede, because literally the mindset of players is a negative one rather than a positive one. It's like the old adage, you wait for a bus and it doesn't come for 20 minutes and two come in the next two minutes. They scored two goals. The fourth goal is, I think he was offside, but more importantly, my player's got a cut on his eye and he's got a concussion, which is why I think the ref should have stopped the game immediately, like he did for the boy Jameson or one of their players, because any head injury, you've got to take this stuff seriously now. So is that what's happened to them? Yeah, concussion, head injury, which is why he didn't move for the 35-40 seconds when the goal was scored, and then taken off, but again, another heated example of two benches in motions. Just deal with it, deal with the head injury, stop the game straight away, end off. It didn't happen. I mean, that was, and unfortunately it ended up in a boot. People take the bounce off him. Yeah. Is that actually a crucial difference? We saw City beat up the car for the other night here and Ante Militius just said they're just too big, too strong, too powerful, too quick. Is that essentially what the difference between them at the moment and everyone else is? Yeah, I think that's fair. I think that's a fair assessment from Ante. I think when you lose a game of football, you're always looking for the reasons why. My players fought today. They hung in there, they dug in there. It's not easy when you can see the goal or two goals away from home. It's our first away victory defeat we've had this year in six or seven games. So I won't fault their effort. It might be an off day for us because we didn't get into our rhythm. And sometimes the other team plays better than you. When it does play better than you, and that does happen, you try not to lose the game. Unfortunately, we lost the game today to a very good team who's in form. But I wouldn't say they beat us up. Yeah, I think there's a conversation going on at the moment with a lot of people saying that Melbourne are the best team. Central Coast is sitting top. I think that's a little bit unfair on Central Coast. And it happens quite a bit and people are saying it because they've won five or six games in a row. Well, the first four or five games, they lost three or four in a row. So give some respect to Central Coast. They're a good team as well. We're a good team. There are other good teams. MacArthur, you mentioned Sydney have won the league the last two years. These are the good teams. So I just think it's... Sometimes people want to start little storylines and things like that that they're the best team. But, you know, have some respect for the other teams in the competition. That's what I would say. Well, then how tight do you think it is? Very tight. Obviously Melbourne City have put themselves in a really good position today with victory. You have to accept that. You've got to follow up. Whenever you lose a game, you've got to bounce back. If you can bounce back and not get into a rut of losing, it helps. And when you're winning, you try and keep that momentum going on and on, which is what they're doing at the moment. Unfortunately, our hours come to an end tonight, but we'll move on. We're in our chance to win the league. But aside from Melbourne victory, do you think, you know, we're still in a situation where the team that's going to form any side of the league can still do damage come from the start? Yeah. Well, again, that's your storyline. If Melbourne victory win a number of games and sneak into the last playoff slot and win the finals then, I'm sure they'll have an argument to you. So, again, listen, it's football. You know that. Do I think they're a good team? Yes, they are a good team, but there's lots of good teams in this league. And anyone can beat anyone on their day has proven. There you go. I think someone said that Tate's being able to bounce back, but they didn't have one in their last six. How do you turn it around to the next side of that? You just get back to basics. We'll rest up over the weekend now. And we'll analyze it on Monday. We'll get back and we'll move forward. We've lost three points at the end of the day with a disappointing performance from us and we know that it's my responsibility. I'm the manager. I'm the coach. But we'll look forward to next week. We've bounced back when we have had defeats. We lost to the opening day of the season and we bounced back with a couple of mini-game, three-game run. We've just been on a very good run at the moment. The boys have been exceptional. Today wasn't our day and you have to accept that sometimes, but you move on because the sun always shines the next day. No, no, probably you probably know more than me being on the internet, so I don't know. So as long as everyone's safe and healthy. Thank you.