Hello, I am Jan Reardon, and I am honored to be able to represent the Jennifer Reardon Foundation. Jennifer is my sister-in-law, and we had lost her tragically five years ago. And right from the start, my brother initiated this foundation with a group of board members that are, I think, unmatched. They're just an amazing group of people, and it's all being done for acts of kindness and keeping Jen's mantra of being kind, loving, caring, and sharing alive. And hats off to my brother, because it's amazing how, you know, five years later the foundation is going strong and the impact has been something that is just measurable and in such a positive way. So with the show, I get the opportunity here with town meeting TV to be able to bring in different guests, and make our resources for us in the Burlington community. And I have had a chance to really talk to some great people today. I'm really excited about, I'll introduce you to Jonathan Farrell in just one minute, but Jonathan is the executive director of COTS. And I just can't wait because as much as I thought I knew about COTS, there's so much more that is happening right here in Burlington. So let me just turn this over to Jonathan Farrell and say thank you so very much for being here, and congratulations on your almost one year right over at the executive director of COTS. But you have been with the organization for how many years? About a dozen years now. Yeah, what a great resource you are. Thank you so much for having us here today. My pleasure. And the reputation that you have, your team, and COTS as an organization is really fabulous. So I'm so excited to hear about what you're doing and any of the details and if there's volunteer support that is needed and on and on from there. But let's start with the mission. In your words, what you feel is though obviously the team is motivated to do and has been accomplishing. And then maybe just touch upon some of the different programs and services that you do offer beyond that emergency shelter that people think was COTS years ago. Absolutely. Thanks. So our mission really is to advocate for long-term solutions to homelessness while providing emergency services. So the overlap is there. And shelter to folks who are experiencing homelessness or who might be precariously housed. We really firmly believe that housing is a fundamental human right. That we believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every human life. And we also believe that emergency shelter is not the answer to homelessness. Which is great to hear because as much of a purpose that that has served and unfortunately for many, many years, there's such a cycle. And I do know just from conversations that once people do come through COTS and end up in more temporary to permanent housing, everything changes. And that's what we want in our community is to see people thriving. And then those people, just like when I worked at the Y, we'd have a membership for all and the people that would take part in that needed it. And once things changed and they were in a better situation, then they were giving back. And I mean, that's all you can hope for. If somebody goes through that has a positive experience. So, yes, thank you again so much for taking it out of that emergency shelter type of mentality. Right. I think our name is misleading. We were founded as the Committee on Temporary Shelter. Sure. Back in 1982. 1982, okay. That's what I was wondering, right? Yeah, a young guy by the name of Bernie was the mayor before my time with COTS. He didn't have mittens back then. Yeah. We recently sort of refreshed our branding and our website. And we are sort of leaning into COTS now as opposed to Committee on Temporary Shelter because we do so much more. Right. And while you're on that, Jonathan, just give us your website so that it's out there because it's a really nice website. Absolutely. Thank you. Thank you. It's COTSonline.org. Okay, perfect. Great. Okay. So you can find out a lot about us there. Exactly. Yeah. We're on the outreach and emergency services. So one of our flagship programs is the Day Station. And this is a drop-in center. We're open 365 days a year. It's for folks who are over the age of 18 and experiencing homelessness. And is that at your main site or where is that? That is right at 95 North Avenue. North Avenue, okay. It's on the North Avenue site. The Day Station is where we meet people often for the first time. Right. And how many people can be at the Day Station at a time? Well, right now we are consistently serving 60, 65 people a day as high as 80 or 90. Again, because we're open every day of the week. We don't close for holidays. We don't close for Sundays. We serve a noontime meal every day to folks who are visiting with us. We also offer showers. We offer laundry facilities to folks. We also bring a lot of community partners into that space. We don't require people to engage in services if they come to visit. Right. But we do maintain a substance-free space. And we expect certain behavioral norms within the space. Absolutely. We also implement harm reduction models. There's a huge opioid substance use crisis happening now. So we're aware of that and we take precautions. We don't check everybody at the door. We don't drug test. But if folks can come in, they want to be in a space that they can get away from that. Exactly. If you're living out sleeping rough, which about 40 or 50% of our visitors on any given day are, everything is right in their face, substance use, theft. They want a nice, safe space. Exactly. So we maintain that. But we bring a lot of community partners in Opportunities Credit Union to help work with folks. The Turning Point Center comes regularly to connect with our folks. That's fabulous. The Department of Labor comes. How long has it been structured that way? Have you had these collaborations? We've had these collaborations for years. Wonderful. Like a lot of things during the pandemic. Sure. A lot of that kind of just came undone. Right. We've been really trying to build back. We have a great relationship with Dr. Pepper Currig. They come serve lunch and offer job opportunities to folks. The Department of Labor is in there regularly. The Burlington Housing Authority comes because they can check on people to see where they are on a wait list for housing in person, as opposed to by mail. We also are the mail depot for probably 1,500 people right now. We have a post office box. So people need an address. They need an address. They need to get those important pieces of mail. Sometimes they're getting their checks in the mail. Right. Right. So we do our best to build relationships with folks in that space by offering those services and kindness. That's beautiful. And making people feel welcome. From there, we hope to get people who are interested into our overnight shelter program. And that definitely is a programmatic shelter. What are the hours of the day station? The day station is open basically 9 to 5. 9 to 5. Very nice. Right. And in the winter we open a little earlier and close a little later. So people have a little extra time to be out of the elements. Our way station shelter, we take an approach we call housing focused shelter. Okay. And where is that located? That is located on Lower Church Street. Okay. Right. We ask that people who are participating in that shelter, one, that it remain a substance-free space and two, that they engage with one of our housing navigators. And the housing navigator role does everything from getting a birth certificate, getting vital paperwork. All those steps that just bog you down too. All of those things before you can do anything. Right. And it's overwhelming. We connect people with that. And we expect that they're working on their housing plan to the best of their ability. So how many housing navigators do you have? We have three. Wonderful. One full-time. Yeah. Doing that work. And of course the shelter staff aids in that are staff at the day station aid in that. They're really sort of joint programs in a lot of ways. Right. Right. We're really happy to say that it's effective. Right? So the first quarter of this year, October through December, 12 people from the way station shelter moved into permanent housing. Permanent. Permanent housing of their own. Oh, that's beautiful. It's super perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That is fabulous. Yeah. And then the flip side of that is our family shelter program. So now we have two locations and room for 15 families. So excuse me for one second. Because I was thinking about this earlier. Yeah, sure. But say at the way station, are there families as well as strictly individuals? Okay. Okay. So day and the way station are all individual? All individuals. Okay. And so I was wondering if there was, you know, and I know the numbers, but if that was part of it. So now we move to the family shelter. Right. And where is that located? We have two locations. One's on Main Street and one is on North Winooski. Yeah, North Winooski. Okay. Sorry. North Champlain. North Champlain. Right. Yes. Okay. So it's one program, two locations. We have space for 15 families. Oh. And that's always full. And one location on Main Street houses 10 families at a time. The other five. And how long can a family stay? Is it all dependent upon the scenario that you're dealing with at that time? It's all dependent upon the scenario. We shoot for six months. Wonderful. And we've been hitting that mark lately. Right. But if somebody, again, if they're... But they could have at least six months. They have six months. While they're, if they're actively working, we are not going to... Right. Right. Terminate their stay on the right. Terminate their stay on the right. Right. Right. And remember, I'm sure, I mean, even though that's a gift to 15 families, at least from your end, you can keep track of things very well. Yeah. No, it's great. And in that programming, we've created a space that's very warm and inviting. We use a set of principles we call trauma-informed design, which involves the calming colors, soft lighting. Exactly. Right. And make it feel as relaxing. And it gives so much truth to that. As relaxing as it can be. Right. Because we all process our environment. Right. Yeah. I know with preschools, wherever I've been, boy, you change that paint. And it is, you know, you have to do some research. That's all I can say. That's right. Oh, yeah. That's right. But that is beautiful then. Yeah. It's great. And we embed in that team along with the shelter staff. And the families, of course, are working with a housing navigator on their housing plan. Yeah. We also have a children's education advocate on staff. No idea about this. This is awesome. The children's education advocate helps families navigate all things school-related. So if you were living in Shelburne and then find yourself in experiencing homelessness in Burlington. Right. You are allowed by federal law to stay in the Shelburne School District. Or you could go to the Burlington School District. So you have the choice. You have the choice. Right. And like everything, it's a lot, you know. Exactly. It's a lot to manage on top of. It's a lot to manage on top of. Whatever jobs they're trying to line up. Absolutely. And all the other moving parts. It also includes after-school programs, daycare for young kids. Lining that up. Lining that up. Helping the families line it up. Camps in the summer. Camps in the summer. Vacation. What do you do? Yes. What kid? And the nutritional aspect of it. Right. What kid doesn't want to go back to school and also share what I did on my vacation. Or what I did over break. Right? So we run field trips. Oh, really? So there's activities that go on. Yeah. Kids want to blend in more than anything. Exactly. Yeah. So that's great.  That's been fantastic. So they engage the families and the kids in all sorts of therapeutic activities. Whether it's art, puppets in education has been in. Right. You know, all kinds of things. Cooking. Just the things that help. Right. And great skills. Great skills. And help the families learn how to regulate. And what do you do when you have to have a tough conversation with your kid. Yes. And all of that. And that is, you know, wrapping the families as much as we can with the goal that when they, as they move on. Right. It'll be a better blend. It'll be a better blend. At that time, skillset that they didn't have coming in. And they will know who to reach out to in the community. Exactly. Right. And it's all about those resources. Yes. Everybody needs them. We all have them and we take them for granted. Exactly. Right. Some people aren't even aware that it exists. I mean. Exactly. Exactly. And then the other piece, we have a motel outreach team. That's been active in the motels since 2020. So how many motels? Well, it was as high as 13. In the Burlington area? In Chittenden County. We're down to, I think, four now. Where most of the households are. So we have a team out doing that navigation work with them. So you take over the motel and have it in its entirety? Or are there certain rooms that you have access to? Yeah. There are folks who are experiencing homelessness who have been put up by the state in the motels. Okay. So we're connecting with those individuals. Oh, yes. Right. For the same sorts of services, housing navigation. Wonderful. Right. Otherwise, where does it stop? Right. And again, in the last three months, 19 households from the motels have moved into permanent housing. Permanent housing. Right. And that's our team working with them, but it's also collaboration with security deposits and funding from CDO and a lot of our community partners because it takes the whole community to do this. But we're really proud of that work because it's hard. Well, and the fact that you have developed those collaborations is where the success really can lie as far as sustainability. Because there's really not any surprises. You know, you have everything, the basics are all covered there to get to that next step without the uncertainty. So I mean, it's wonderful. Yeah. Such a gift for this community. Yeah. We've got another program we run in conjunction with the Howard Center. It's called Family Supportive Housing. Okay. And we started this as a pilot about 10 years ago. And it's now a statewide program. So that's great. That sure is fabulous. Yeah. So what we're doing is collaborating with families that have a significant issues. They have DCF involvement. They're experiencing homelessness. And we work to support those families. Do these people come to you or do you get to them in a different way? There's a referral system. Yeah. So they're on the radar for you to be able to then... Yeah. So we work closely with the Agency of Human Services, Economic Services. Yes. Yes. To identify the families. Wonderful. We're actively expanding that program now to a coordinator and five clinicians. So we'll be able to work with 75 households once it's up and running in its entirety. We're carrying about 15 or 20 on that program right now. So how many employees do you have? I mean... Small but mighty. And do you ever sleep? We're small but mighty. We're under 50, you know. Wow. That's powerful then for... Around 540 full-time, some part-time, some per diem shelter staff. Right. Right. So yeah. So we do a lot. We do a lot with that. We certainly do.  Right. So affordable housing. We currently have 90 units of affordable housing across the city and Winooski. And that's an aspect that we're ramping up. Fairness. We're ramping up supports within that. So we're finding these days that the acuity of need is higher than it's ever been. Yes. So being homeless is... And when you say like in this day, I'm just curious, like after the pandemic, did you see a big... That is on Main Street. So it's... In Burlington. Okay. It's adjacent to our family shelter location on Main Street. Wonderful. So how many will be housed in that building? 16 units. Going up now. Fabulous. Oh my goodness. And that's a great location. Right. It's perfect. It's across the street from Edmonds. It's near the library. It's downtown on the bus line. Right. Everything... Talk about pedestrian friendly. Exactly. Right. And it's a great example of both historic preservation because the shelter is in an 1806 building. Oh. It's a construction, you know, downtown where we need housing. Right. Right. I love it. Close to services. All of the units are dedicated to families that have experienced homelessness. Fabulous. We are going to see a lot of folks move from the shelter into the housing. We'll have a lot of folks, a couple of folks from the motels who are living in motels and are moving in. And that's all waiting lists based? Yep. Sort of.  Too many. Oh, absolutely. We have probably 16 or 17 on our wait list for family shelter right now. Right. It's a lot of people. And we have been earmarked. We have been prioritizing families that are in the motel system since June. Right. So about 30% of our referrals are folks who come right from the motels. Right. Into a more supportive environment. So that's what I was going to say. At the motels, there really are not services provided. Not so much. Really not at all. And that's what our motel team does. Right. They knock on the doors and try to meet people. Exactly. And get them connected. Right. Right. So that's fabulous in itself. That's wonderful. Yeah. So, I mean, this is a lot of moving parts and I'm just wondering from a, you know, financial point of view, how, where do the donations come from fundraisers? I know you have a big fundraiser coming up and you do very well with your fundraisers but let's talk about that aspect of COTS. Sure. Sure. COTS is a community-based and foundation donations. And that's, I can't emphasize how important that is. I can't. That allows us to fund a children's mental health advocate position. There isn't grant funding for that. That helps support our leadership team because federal and state grants pay salaries for shelter staff but never for supervision. There's always very little in those grants for the fringe with the things you need to support employees and keep them retained. Exactly. Right. Education, IT, all of that we have to supply. Absolutely. Right. Because it's retention that you need and certainly with what you're doing that retention in those relationships are key. So we have a few, one of our big ones is coming up, the COTS walk. Right. Right. So how many people typically attend the walk? It's upwards to 2,000. Oh, fabulous. Which is fantastic.  I think it may be. Yeah. A lot of organizations, nonprofits certainly do a lot of walks and I've never, you know, seen as big of a crowd as I have at COTS. And the idea behind that is really to sort of walk in somebody else's shoes. Right. And go past our locations. Yes. To see where the shelter is, where the family shelter is. And how long is the walk? The walk is about 3.1 miles. 3.1 miles? If you do the long version. Yeah. And we have a shorter version for the kiddos. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. And so what's the date on that, John? The date is Sunday, May 5th. Sunday, May 5th. Yes. And then what time? That starts at one o'clock. At one o'clock. Yeah. And then where do you meet down at the waterfront? We start and ends at Battery Park. Oh, good. Okay. Yeah. And there's Ben and Jerry's there. Oh. Thank you, Ben and Jerry's. Yeah. Oh, good. Yeah. And a lot of sponsorship goes into that. So the money that our walkers raise goes directly to our programming. It doesn't go to the porta-potties and the tents. Right, right. So you cover the event. Yes. And then this is money that you can actually put to services. Yes. So we have a lot of generous sponsors who help us with the logistics of that event. Beautiful. Which is great. And what's the history on that? How many years ago did the first walk take place? Oh, my gosh. I know it goes way back. It goes way back. We're well over 35. Yes. That's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. You think of all the walks that have come and gone. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot of history. And a lot of folks who have been at all of them, which is amazing. Whoa, that certainly is remarkable, definitely. Yeah. So that's a big fundraiser for you. That's a big fundraiser for us. And then what are other events or ways that, you know, people can, obviously they can go to the website and donate. Absolutely. But are there any other, you know, programs that they can support in some other way? Yes. Like even in trading, different services or things like that? Absolutely. We have a lot of volunteer opportunities. Everything from reading with kids in the shelter. Lunch at the day station is a big one. Sure. Because we serve that warm noontime meal every day. Every day. Up to 80 people some days. Most days 50. So that's a crowd, yeah. It's a crowd. It's not your backyard barbecue. Right. Right. But we have a lot of folks who do that as a team building exercise. Oh, yeah. Maybe with colleagues. So some business groups come in. We have some faith groups that come in. Oh, beautiful. We have some individuals, love and blessings as a group that comes in. And twice a month and does the meal for, and a dynamite Christmas dinner. So there are some really generous folks in the community that do that. That is, yeah. And it's an ongoing need for us to feed folks. Sure. So that's a biggie. We also have our phone-a-thon. That's one of our big fundraisers. And it's funny this day and age, you think it might not work, but we kind of adapted it and made it virtual and use cell phones. So yeah, how are you doing that? So walking through, and then when is that? And do you need volunteers for that? We always need volunteers for the phone-a-thon. That's just after Thanksgiving. Okay. Yep. We have, we need hundreds of people to make the calls. Right. Right. And the fun thing is we're calling folks who have donated to COTS. Exactly. So it's not scary. Exactly. They're very familiar with the mission and obviously the good that comes from this. Even in this day and age where people screen their calls and check their cell phone, people pick up the phone and they want to know about COTS and they want to know what's going on and they want to thank the people who are volunteering. Love it. Yeah, that's a community in itself, right? It's a fantastic event that you'd think maybe in this day and age doesn't work, but it still does. It still does, and we connect to a lot of supporters. So how much would you generate from a phone-a-thon? The phone-a-thon raises well over $250,000. Oh my goodness. In one phone-a-thon? In one phone-a-thon. That is very impressive. Yes. Yeah. And it's, again, it's well-established. Exactly. It's people who care about their community, who appreciate the work that COTS has done over the years. Beautiful. Yeah, which is wonderful. We have another great event that's good for volunteering. It's called, we call it now the Back to School Bonanza. Okay. So what we had, we used to do a back-to-school drive. Right. I remember that. We had school supplies. We'd have volunteers stuff the backpacks. Yes. We'd give them to the kids in shelter and kids at Lund and kids at King Street. What we've turned that around and made it a fun event. So the kids get to come. This year, we had a bouncy house. Oh my goodness. We had face paint. That's brilliant. We had haircuts for the kids. And they could go around, and all of the booths were staffed by volunteers. They could pick out their own backpack. Because like, you know. Oh, exactly. What if you get the yellow one? I love the yellow one. So the kids get to pick out their school supplies. There are no books. Just like they should. Cliff was there to give out books. The Ryberg was there to give out books and read stories. We had music. We had to get excited about school too. Exactly. And it's open to the public. It's not just people who are in the shelter. And everything we collect, it's not a fundraiser. Everything goes back into the community. So it's just such a great way to meet families, meet kids. It's beautiful. Oh, it sure is. So then, let's see. I'm going to just check my notes here real quickly and see if we have. Well, I guess with COVID and the pandemic, what has changed from your perspective and how has, like, what are some of the pros now, for instance, instead of always, you know, there's a lot of mental illness and a lot of sadness that came as a result of the pandemic. But can you point to anything good that you think your organization has been able to take away from that very uncertain time? Yeah, yeah, there's a number of things. One, just from operations and workplace standpoint, we're doing a lot more hybrid work with our staff. Interesting. And that's probably, you know, better as far as morale. I think so, yeah. You never thought it could work. And it does. And it's actually better. It's an improvement. So that's a good thing to bring up. It's really interesting. Yes. Really interesting positive. We're all more well connected with Teams and Zoom. Yes. So getting connected with community partners with our friends at the stage. Dreamline that process. You know, we don't have to all meet in Montpelier. Exactly. Or Randolph, you know. So you can, yeah, we can have more flexibility. More flexibility. So I'm finding some connections with other nonprofit leaders. Wonderful. Other shelter providers that we can get together and work on. We're really proud that we were able to keep people safe during the pandemic. Absolutely. Our shelter is a bunk room. There, you know, there's, there's a bunk room for folks who identify as male and a bunk room for folks who identify as female. And a pandemic comes along and like, that's not the greatest. Right. Right. So that's where the Motel program came in. And it was really helpful. Yes. We were able to reduce the number of folks in the shelter to increase personal space. So that was good. So long-term we're looking at sort of recreating our shelter for individuals into a less congregate model. Yes. That's a hefty construction project. Exactly. But it's on the radar now. Right. Right. As a way to. And how far out does your strategic plan go? Well, we look, we try to, we have a, what we call a framework. Okay. And then each. And yeah, we try to refresh it every five years or so. Five years. Wonderful. Yeah. We're looking for a big or new on the horizon for 24, 25. We're looking at one of our. Construction, you have a lot of, you know, development going, which is exciting. We've got the building about to launch. And we're just starting planning for one of our buildings that is a, what we call an SRO model, a single room occupancy. Oh, okay. So think boarding house. Right. Right. Cots remodeled the building in 1991, I think. And it's time for a refresh. But it's all single rooms with shared bathrooms and kitchen. And we're looking to, to expand the model we've used in other development projects to create efficiencies and studios. It really, it gives people, you know, one, the, the privacy should a pandemic arise again. Exactly. But more importantly, it's about the, the sense of dignity and importance. Right. So I have my own space. Exactly. My own bathroom. I have my own kitchen. Yeah. I close my door and. So we're looking at, at that right now. And that's exciting. Absolutely. And what would, you know, a typical building, I'm sure it varies quite a bit, but would it be in that 16 to 20 people range? Or do you, how much, how big are some of the, the buildings that you look at for housing? Yeah. Yeah. Well, this, this particular building is 24 units. Oh, fantastic. So it's, and it'll be, again, we're reusing the space and, and do a planning in addition to create those individual apartments as opposed to just a room. And so is there any federal funding? Like you said, I mean, there's not grants for a lot of things, but, but certain things you can, like construction style and development. Are you able to tap into that? Absolutely. Piece of the pie there. That's awesome. As it should be. Yeah. We do a fair amount of investment ourselves. So our main street building is about a third of the budget is COTS. And about a third is, is federal money that came through the Vermont Housing Conservation Board. That's wonderful. And the other piece is what they call the low-income housing tax credit program for that. So it's complex, but we have some good partners, especially in, And a lot of pieces, thankfully. And that's what you need. Absolutely. Yeah. So we work with, we're working with Evernorth on this, on this project and they help manage the, the tax credit. Right. Appliance. Bundling the funding. Right. Right. A lot of things that are available, again, that some people are not aware of. And then, you know, it just restricts what we do. And then here, this opens up great opportunities. Absolutely. Yeah. But we are done with our show. All right. I can't believe it. This is such a pleasure, Jonathan. Well, thank you so much. I'm so happy to be here. Thank you. I am so thankful for your time and for all the work that you and your team do. Well, we got kudos to the team. I know. Thank you so very much. You are welcome. Okay.


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Maybe what could be low probability but could be the biggest story of the year, maybe the biggest story of the decade is the rising protests in China. The protests are over zero COVID lockdowns and kind of the government's general response to COVID and the fact that some people died in a fire interesting the city in which the fire happened where people died is was in in the western part of China so it was close to where I think the Uighurs live so you know suddenly that region is important people are people are going out and demonstrating they're demonstrating they were yesterday demonstrating Beijing and Shanghai and it pretty much every major city in China there were according to the press there were demonstrations at 50 different universities in China and 50 yes or 50 different universities so really unprecedented for China we've seen demonstrations in China we've seen demonstrations around working conditions some places we've seen demonstrations around financial collapse runs on banks where people lost money and they demonstrated we've seen demonstrations when the stock market collapsed we've seen demonstrations around specific issues they usually are local they're not nationwide and they usually stop very quickly these are the broadest demonstrations in terms of scope in terms of number of cities in terms of probably number of people involved maybe since Tiananmen Square maybe since 1989 that is huge certainly this is the biggest challenge that she has faced since he took over as premier 10 years ago and this is the first big challenge to his basically ascension to dictator for life in China you know the the the the the the the vaccination rate in China is very low and to the extent that they were vaccinated they were vaccinated with very ineffective very ineffective Chinese vaccines early on in 2021 so so vaccines have not played much of a role in China I think the regime is really scared of COVID they're scared of what happens in the hospitals they're scared of what happens if a million people die of COVID they're afraid of the social upheaval that result from that and in trying to combat that they have fallen into the trap of of social unrest because of their measures to lock everybody down it we'll get in a minute to more of the demonstrations but the Chinese vaccines that are being used in other in other countries are being particularly ineffective so Chinese vaccines are just not being good in China has resisted using western vaccines partially because I think they view that as a sign of defeat their own companies which are trying desperately to develop mRNA vaccines have failed it's it's it's a complicated process it's not easy and they're still trying but they failed and the the condition under which China was willing to buy Moderna and Pfizer vaccines was if I said Moderna should their intellectual property with China which my understanding is at least Moderna turn them down I think Pfizer did as well and so China turned turn them down rejected them so I mean basically the what has happened is China is now vaccinated and and they're petrified of death rates they're petrified of all will happen but of course the lockdowns have resulted in the kind of social unrest that terrifies them it's not like the rulers in China care about the loss of life it's more about they care about the the social upheaval that might result from that loss of life what's really interesting about these demonstrations is that they are now not limited to just open up COVID stop COVID restrictions the demonstrators are brazenly calling folks she to leave office and they are brazenly calling even for the downfall of the Chinese Communist Party now that never happens so even demonstrations in the past that have happened in China usually limited to a particular issue a particular topic and focus on that and concentrate on that and the limited to that but here what you get is people actually demanding that the Communist Party stop ruling China I mean that is a revolution I mean it's a revolution if it succeeds but it's it's calling in a sense for real change and that again you haven't seen on a scale in China since you know since the since the 1989 Tiananmen Square I mean I wish I could communicate with some of the people who have brought me to China many times kind of the people who are have been fighting for liberty and freedom in China for decades the people who who were involved in promoting a man's ideas but also the ideas of free market economists in China would be fascinating right now to talk to them and find out what they are thinking and what how they view what is going on it is hard maybe you know what maybe I should look them up on Telegram so that's that's what I could you know I could I could try to look them up on Telegram and maybe see if I can talk to them through that I'm sure that Telegram channels with dissidents in China are expressing their views so this morning there were no demonstrations in Beijing and Shanghai and the reason for that is probably whoops what happened to my camera all right I think that's it's still not quite right but okay I mean it's moved around a little there we go that's better although now this is so the cameras tilted down which shows my mic that's fine so today there was no demonstration Beijing in Taiwan to a large extent because there was massive police presence in both places police have gathered around the places where last night they were demonstrations they are stopping people in the street they are taking their cell phones and trying to determine whether on their cell phones they have VPNs VPNs are for the most part illegal in China although most Chinese that I know at least use them constantly so checking VPNs on people phone they're also checking to see if they have Telegram app on people's phone again Telegram is not allowed for use in China which suggests that it's not allowed because the Chinese can't actually monitor it because of its strong encryption so you know that the fear of demonstrators in China is is very simple the Chinese state is a is to a large extent a police state it monitors it knows who you are the fear is jail the fear is you know jail for long periods of time can Google courts and of course because they have cameras and they monitor social media extensively they know who you are what you are their facial recognition software so the fact that people are going out into the streets the fact that people are expressing their opinions the fact that they are chanting suggests that you know people are desperate or less afraid than they used to be and now speaking up I think it's just a matter of time now just a matter of time could be 50 years but it's just a matter of time before the Chinese actually rebel against the powers to be I think they're in for a long period of economic stagnation and and if this zero covert policy continues economic depression which will wire people up and upset the Chinese dramatically I mean the trade-off Chinese have accepted historically has been as long as we have economic growth as long as we can become wealthier as long as the poor become rich or becoming a class as long as things are going well then okay we'll let you be authoritarian but if if part of that gap that deal is no the economy is not going to grow anymore then I'm not sure the Chinese people are gonna just sit back and accept the authoritarian nature of the regime I saw somebody tweet to me today saying China's always been authoritarian they're always gonna be authoritarian that nothing's gonna change I that's super defeatist the West was always authoritarian until it wasn't authoritarian and that took well into the 19th century for the West not to become authoritarian you know the kings were supposedly messages of God who could do anything and could rule you know anyway yet you had emperors you had anyway that culture change and I think the last 40 years a broad real change to China and people have real expectations about certain aspects of their freedom and I think those expectations are growing and as Chinese more and more and more Chinese educated in places like the United States and England and in Europe more generally they come to greater appreciation of freedom and liberty and at some point they're going to demand that the question is when is this the beginning one can hope but it's unlikely but it is it is heartening to see the Chinese people expressing themselves it's hardening to see the Chinese people going out there and and actually talking about this also to those of you and I know there are quite a few of you out there who believe that since COVID is a scam and COVID never existed and people don't die of COVID that the Chinese don't this is not really locked down over COVID this is really locked downs in order to control people well this is a bit of a backlash this is a bigger of a backlash against that theory of control also it is you don't understand China and you don't understand the regime and you don't understand the the kind of what's going on at China if you think that in the name of this kind of control which is you know temporary and and China already had massive control if you think that it is that China is willing to sacrifice its economy sacrifice it's well sacrifice its position in the world sacrifice its potential military buildup because it's going to become poor because of these lockdowns no I mean this is about a fear of COVID this is sure it's always about control it was controlling the west it's certainly about controlling China but it's fundamentally driven by a fear of COVID and using that fear China has the mechanisms of control it doesn't have to lock people up in their homes and it doesn't have to keep pushing and pushing and pushing for years when you know what is really being sacrificed other than obviously human liberty which really being sacrificed is massive economic success and no this is a combination of the of the regime fearing COVID outbreaks and what they will do and how they will be blamed of it after they have promised zero COVID and this is a regime that is comfortable and wants to maintain control and this is a regime that is struggling with now what's going to happen to the economy but it is more afraid I think of what happens if COVID spreads than it is afraid of of the economy and unfortunately there is a lot of mythology in the west about COVID and I think I think that that mythology exists less in in Asia I think they're much more realistic about COVID all right let's see so yeah this is exciting potentially we'll see where it goes we'll see how it develops something to watch first crack maybe probably not the revolution but maybe a first crack maybe you know the first indication that Chinese are willing to fight that Chinese are willing to resist maybe a first kind of warning signal to Xi that his position is not as secure as maybe he has thought it is and and maybe a push for some within the Chinese Communist Party to say huh maybe we've given Xi too much power maybe because I think the next step is not liberty in China it's not that they move from the political system they have today to political system freedom like that or through a civil war I think I think the real shift is going to be some kind of internal struggle which leads to Xi being replaced by somebody more liberal by somebody more open both in terms of economic freedom and in terms maybe of some political freedom and then an evaluation at that point of whether the population is push push push and then maybe gradual movement towards greater political freedom it's not gonna happen I don't think in China all at once I don't think it'll happen through a civil war but it could happen through internal strife within the Chinese Communist Party clearly there are people who are resisting Xi clearly there are people who don't agree with Xi's authority increased authoritarianism with Xi's increased insistence on controls increased insistence on on centralizing power around him most of those people have been I've been ousted from the Politburo from the governing body but they are there they're in the Chinese Communist Party and in these kind of demonstrations this kind of social upheaval could be a stimulus for them to take control but again we will see this is evolving and it won't all happen at once I think again this is a little crack and then there'll be maybe a future crack and there'll be more cracks and then maybe things will start happening faster but again I am inspired by people willing to fight for their own freedom they fight for their own liberty and and certainly some Chinese are willing to do that right now and taking real risks real risk with their life in order to do it so let's keep chipping away at the Chinese wall at the Chinese authoritarian state thank you for listening or watching the Iran book show if you'd like to support the show we make it as easy as possible for you to trade with me you get value from listening you get value from watching show your appreciation you can do that by going to Iran book show dot com slash support I go to patreon subscribe star locals and just making a appropriate contribution on any one of those any one of those channels also if you'd like to see the Iran book show grow please consider sharing our content and of course subscribe press that little bell button right down there on YouTube so that you get announcement when we go live and for you those of you who are ready subscribers and those of you who already supporters of the show thank you I very much appreciate it


That woman Would have gone on and on and she had once stopped to say thank you for your help I know you got a show to run on see that's that Only child Daddy can have a cookie daddy can have a cookie daddy can have a cookie daddy can have a cookie daddy can have a cookie daddy can Have a cookie daddy can she wouldn't have stopped and I need you guys to ask herself.  Why is all this have import because? Women in the danger zone want above average Women in the danger zone tend to want a lot of average men and I will tell you guys over here the high value. No Not gonna put up with that and I go deal with that not at all Not at all not at all not at all, but no, I will tell you what Lady sends her she said I was rude See you what you get with a lot of these women's you don't have a lot of women who are used to having a guy speak to hear a man speak But if you listen to she's in that woman if you're a big head on that same show I Had a woman call into my show Who called in last week who I checked her on some stuff too and what did she call in last week say Kevin?   I'm going to tell you shut it you can get on the show I don't want to hear you type in the chat room anymore.  You need to you need to get yourself together. I've called out men in the same regard, too But more often than not it tends to be I mean didn't that happen a couple of weeks ago Woman gonna tell me you're telling average women that they can't get high value men And I know plenty of rich men or high value men and what turns out that she's don't ain't married Don't know nothing ain't got nothing for Funny to me so come on Let's get the likes up man.  Thank you Can we get the likes of people? The truth is always rude Who can tell you the truth sisters? Who can tell you the truth it's always rude You so used to somebody kissing your tail The somebody who's trying to help why would I? Why would somebody why would somebody who spent 40 minutes of his time on this show? Huh, why would somebody who spent 40 minutes of time on this show? Why would you think that person's trying to what what do you think? Hmm. I'm sitting there being rude. Why need to be rude? Come on Come on, uh Bee chat rooms open. She had a lot to say earlier She had a lot to say earlier. Yeah Mm-hmm Had a lot to say if you type in all caps your message will be blocked sometimes It's A little goes a long way a little kindness goes a long way ladies Open up the chat room ask anything you want on the subject Here's a link right there right above your name. I'm looking for the link to call in it's right there Where's my favorite feminist go ask tiffany a little goes a long way You hear that woman sit on that room on that phone talk about These are good questions. These are good questions I've never had anybody ask me these questions before 33 years old and ain't nobody ever asked her these questions all these women in her life Ain't nobody ever asked her this question in one session. She got more for me for free than she's ever gotten for anybody To cologne our market today. You long You long, um, armani prevail. It's a new t-based fragrance.  Hi, can you see me near me? Yeah, what's your first name? Uh, so fia. Sorry. I would turns out I was using my work account. So essentially it has a different name No, no, but what are you in the chat room? Uh, yeah, so my question Hold on. What are you in the chat room? Oh, why am I in the chat? No, no, no. What what was your name? Okay, go ahead. I was waiting for somebody else to come in Go ahead Okay Sorry, I can't figure out how to change the name. Um, that's all right. It doesn't matter Okay, but yeah, my question is how to avoid Uh, I'm very young and I'm just starting the whole dating scene and I'm wondering how to avoid becoming Uh that Turning into that person that ends up in the in the danger zone I just worry like with all the statistics that you've listed. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hold on. Let me make sure Let me do this real quick. Let me do this real quick.  Hi, are you b? I'm bebin. Yes. All right. What's up big head?  Yeah, that's right.   I mean that means you're smart, right? Not not necessarily, but I am a smart woman though.  Well, I'm gonna tell you this one because I don't know because I'm not in your head. I actually like your show I just started viewing your show and I've actually sent out your information and videos to friends and family of mine So yesterday when I was watching the show, I was kind of like shocked. I don't want to say like To be honest with you mr. Samuel's a little disappointed because I felt like you were being kind of Rude to her when you call her what you call her a batch and you're like Other countries they'll be able to smack women for talking about first of all hold on hold on hold on I need you to make sure when you quote me You need to make sure you quote it in context. See a lot of times women just pull stuff out completely out of context What did I say I said in a state of nature when that female tries to dominate a male what would happen?  She knew she was out of place. Did you not hear that? Yes, I heard that she so so if two men were talking to one another, right? Two men talking to one another, right? And you got one guy that's here one guy that's here and then one The smaller guy starts trying to over talk the larger guy What do you think would happen in that situation? That's going to come a point in time where it would escalate to something physical. Yes or no Yes in nature. Yes, but we're we're we're we're hold on man. We're human animals. We see men know this men Self edit and moderate ourselves because there is always between men No matter where we are a low level threat of violence There are lines between all men that you can't cross between a president between a police officer Between a firefighter between two guys on the street. We know that eventually we take this civilian stuff over here but see with women Especially western women.  So women are right or wrong to do that Knowing they cannot deal with the violence that comes if it happened so I think I've heard collars over talking be rude to you. I have Women women women are right or wrong to over talk a man push a man Do things that they know are rude to a man just because a man's hands are tied behind his Hands are tied behind his back legally What's he meant? Is that right or wrong man? Say it's wrong Exactly and that's my point if it was a man and he did it There'd be a problem, but see women can do that. I was watching video the other day Uh The chipotle thing right The two black women the pregnant white woman with the gun. Did you see that thing? No, okay.    Of course not. But why would she talk to him that way? Because she knew that the that there's no threat of violence and that's my point, ma'am When women talk to men in such a way you're trying to punk a man And that's not cool. We see it happen all the time So I wanted so that's why I say we and that's the and the point I'm getting to that over here is That's why I was saying that she knew what she was doing So it wasn't rude that I told her you're being rude and you're lucky we live in a civilized country because if we lived in a Muslim country That wouldn't happen We lived in some other countries. That wouldn't happen and you know that Yeah, and I'm grateful to be here But I I agree with you on the examples you gave I had mr. Sam this I totally agree with you don't have to tell me Mr. You're coming Kevin. It's fine Well, that's the way and anytime in my comments. I was right you because you're older man. Thank you, but But what I'm saying is I've heard women on your show and I've heard them be snippy and rude and they were being rude and snippy And however you responded back it was deserved, but I'm think I don't want that thing and the context is listening to her She just seemed like she talked a lot. She didn't come off to me. It's trying to be Rude to you. I've heard some people where they were like, yes And like I've heard some women and they were strictly really trying to be rude to you And the fact that she still kept asking for your advice still kept asking even though you were saying like look, you know what? Nobody's gonna take you at this time ma'am. You just she still kept coming. So somebody that was trying to be purposely rude to you Wouldn't still keep coming for you for help And so I think that there might have been a miscommunication.  I asked her point blank Would you would you speak to it? She's like, no, would you talk? Would you talk to another? Well, and she would you talk to another I forgot exactly what I said And she said well to somebody that I had respect for no, I wouldn't talk to somebody I love and I think she said She only had male supervisors. She didn't only have female supervisor bottom bottom line is this Here's the bottom line. Here's the bottom line I'm very careful with the words I use I did more than my level best to that woman was on my phone for 40 minutes and would not stop I agree with you and and look at 33 years old if she has that little impulse control That that's how she walks around through life No wonder And if no one is and apparently no one ever told her this is a problem Great, that's why she sat there and said these questions good. No one's ever asked me So I find it a bit hard to swallow that you saying I'm being rude when she sat there having her eyes open How should a man talk to her then how should a man be direct to a woman? And and please tell us because I'm I'm curious to hear this one Well, it's again to like the point I said I've heard people be snippy with you intentionally And and what you said back is deserved. I'm saying because like I agree with you She's kind of all over the place and kind of that I can tell that's a personality thing It's like maybe not take this so personally. I know you're very masculine man I love very masculine. It's not a matter of taking you personally ma'am. She's I don't if she were 23. That's one thing She's 33 Yes, she's 33 And this is a this is a show and it's a business I have to mute her four times Mm-hmm There is no mute button in the real world I see what I don't think a lot what I think a lot of times women you give each other the benefit or doubt even when they act wrong What you what you have not said is that woman? Well, what do you think the way she was behaving was appropriate? I think I think she was all over the place. I think that was her personality I'm not saying it's the best personality. Okay. So I ask again Do I do you think the way that her personality do you think the way she was behaving was appropriate? Uh, no, she should have read the social context clue. So it was time to get off the phone All right. So why didn't you write that in the chat room? Why didn't I write that she should have read? Why didn't you why didn't you why didn't you I didn't read any critiques you had of her? Okay I I do critique everybody. You just read the one about you. I said I did not I didn't say I did I didn't say you didn't but I said I did not Okay, so what did you say about her?  There you go, ma'am There you go. So again the business owner the professional Doing his level best to give her give do something for her For free that she normally would have to pay for that she could pay for which owes not to I told her to book a session. She still kept going.  Samuel, I think you're generalizing things. I'm not I'm being very specific with you I know you're also Cut me off anytime. I'm trying to make a point and you see I'm being quiet when you're talking All right What but what I was just saying that's the way and it could be like you said women give people the benefit of the doubt and all this Think women give women the benefit of the doubt But I also see a lot of comments in the chat and a lot. I can't worry about the chat room, ma'am I'm running the show. I can't worry about the chat room. I got a program Well, you worried about my comment So your comment is highlighted because you're a member of my show I can see that because you actually paid to have your comment highlighted That's why your comment was there So Where's your head? So I called your show like a week ago. I told you I was divorced I actually call it I need to let me make this let me make this up Public service announcement weak content creators Sleep, I can't know all the people thousands of people that call my show remember all that stuff Yes, I know mr. Samuel. So I still want to hear You give that woman some some critique Okay, so my critique of her would be She needs to kind of pause when she's when she's speaking and kind of think before she speaks because she is kind of all over the place She kind of rambles She seemed kind of overly excited for your feedback and help and maybe Again pause with that also reading the social social context clues are realizing she did talk take up a lot of time She did keep asking questions Um, and she wasn't getting the hint when you kept saying hey, you're over talking me again That means positive. I think like thought kept popping in her head And so she was so eager to like like hey, I got mr. Samuel's on the phone I need all the time. Are you an only child? No, I'm not the only child. Okay. Do you know many only children? I don't know the percentage. I mean personally, do you have many friends that are only children? Oh, do I know? No, I don't know a lot. Okay only children. I am one and I know lots And that's part of the only child syndrome. That wasn't innocent what she was doing It was manipulation okay I mean again I'm good at what I do and if I say something If you watch me, I find it interesting you say that this one that I'm being rude. Well, guess what?  That's what your comment said I have a problem with that I've also made a lot of comments and I've also again, I'ma move on to the next one. If you like my work Then understand some understand something if you like what I do understand something You're lucky you get me Because what a lot of guys would love to tell you women When you act the way you do even this challenging stuff I mean to be honest with you that woman don't If I wanted to say what I really wanted to say she didn't pay me for my session She called the show for free and took up an hour of my time and would have continued to take more She was lucky that I didn't hang up on her So I'll put it to you this that's as nice as I'm going to see it and I will tell you another black There's a reason that so many of our sisters are by themselves. You cannot take criticism The truth is rude. The truth is negative. Who can criticize black women? Black men certainly cannot who can criticize you and not catch hell Are you saying I can't take criticism?   Okay. Give me some specific people Uh, let's see uh, you heard it's Somebody I know where somebody famous you can think about just the 50 cent comment the other day. So Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.  No, ma'am. I asked a very specific question Who can criticize? I think everybody does I think everybody okay again I'm I've given you multiple times to answer and you can say everybody but you're not telling me who I think anytime somebody's criticized all right. All right. All right. All right. And and how old are you? 35 35.   What's going on? Are you in the danger zone? Hey, I just found you today, so I'm so happy I got through Me and saraya go back like babies with pacifiers. Oh dirt dog. No lie. What's going on?  Okay But when I meet new guys I never tell them my real age.  Well, um guys are used to women lying about everything honestly Um, but the bigger question is why do you feel compelled to have to not be truthful about your age? Because I want them to get to know me and not judge me for being single at my age And they believe me when I tell them the age anyways. All right. Well, I understand But you know, so guys step back and say you want to start a potential relationship With deception That's not a good thing. How old are you? 29, okay.  So no, you don't need to lie about your age That's not a good thing because if you start out with deception you open yourself up to be deceived Are you are you looking to get married? Yeah Any children? No, all right At 29, what's the longest relationship you've ever had?  Yeah, we're in the same city. So when we went on our first trip together I had to give him my birthday. He found out and he just thought it was funny, but all right It's just like, I don't know. I hope he doesn't think I'm lying about everything Well, I didn't get but I gotta ask does he want to get does he want to get married? Yeah But he's older. He's like 50 something. So I so it wasn't that big of a deal My age, I mean, no, no, no, no, no, no What I'm asking does he want to get married? And does he want to marry you? Well, now he's talks about it. We just hit two years like a moral day weekend. So now Baby girl, it don't take that long when you're that old Oh Really? Six months is all it takes I got a fraternity brother met his girlfriend They're gonna be married inside six months. Look, it don't take that long two years So I should so I should meet someone new and not lie about my age. Well first off Let me not let me not make it personal.  I'm serious. Don't do that chat room stuff Yeah, I'm just reading the Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm running the show and I'm not in the comment section turn that off I'm trying to talk to you your picture's not up there, but you're 27 you spent two years You look back over there one more game. I'm gonna hang this up No, I'm focused.  Why why are you wasting time? Well, I didn't know That I needed to do it within six months. I mean, you know Now it's like, okay, maybe if if that's the time to why I should be looking at then it's like Well, I'm saying all it here's what I'm saying is when a man wants to get married You going over there? Close the ipad put knock the computer down. I can tell when your eyes go over there I'm serious. I'm no understand something you look back over there. I'ma go to the next person Are we clear? I'm serious. I won't all right Or you can always book a session and pay for it and you can look wherever you want to seriously though You're 29 You got two years into this and you're hoping he decides to marry you No No Because if he wanted to marry you at 50, whatever, he knows what k jeweler's is gordon's He would have produced a ring and locked you up inside six months He's going to continue letting this go as long as you let this go Uh, if you know, you want to get married peace Why is that so why is that so hard to hear? I just need to give them all to me. I mean, I don't know. No, no, no, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no Make clear you don't give any ultimatums You make a decision That you want to be married and say We are and end it see if you give him an ultimatum and he doesn't want to marry you. What do you think he's going to do? Let's play this out and if and then And you're still where you are Give him an ultimatum.  Is that the kind of marriage you only want? No, I wasn't going to say it like that Well, that's where you're at And i'm trying to talk to you and talk to a lot of other women when you Men know from the get go whether or not we want to marry you Okay Okay Do you believe that or don't you believe that? I do believe that. What's what city are you in? Miami Okay, all right Yeah, you got a lot of player stuff happening in Miami. Uh, but then you Yeah, how tall are you? I'm five five You know what's coming next dress size.  I have all my my serums on I have no makeup. I'm not going to I'm not going to but she's a tractor guys You can you can find another man Yeah, I'm not worried. It's just it's just by Join my group to mix join my facebook group to mix Because look, I don't know this man.  He's 50 you didn't tell him your age and you guys just been kind of How long have you guys been one-on-one monogamous? I would say a good six months. Okay. So for a year and a half y'all this yeah join my group I gotta get to the net call you need I need to bring you on the show have a one-on-one Join my facebook group come back on for a one-on-one. We'll hide your face though. Okay Fine. All right. Thank you. All right.  You didn't get anything wrong I was just calling because I had I'm not hit. I have not hit the wall yet. Um, actually 23 however, uh I just wanted to know like well to me. I want to get married in two years Okay, and I don't know where I go wrong when it comes to meeting or Voting men. I don't know if it's my looks. I know my mom Would say that I dress very conservatively So I don't wear the So what's the ultimate question? Why you can't get a proposal? Yes. All right. Uh, were you raised by mom and dad? Yes Mom and dad married Yes Is your dad still alive and in your life? Yes. All right, and what's the longest relationship you've had? Yeah About four years And you're 23? Yes. All right. Uh, why didn't you guys? Uh formalize it so He just turned 50.  Let me back up You met a guy When you were 19 and he was 50 Yeah, he just turned 50. He was about like 40. He was 46. Did he meet your father? He recently met my father. He met my father Last year and we met him again this year. He met who? He He met my father again this year. Okay When did your father find out about this man? This year So you had a Okay So you were dating a man 27 years older than you and you kept it secret from your father Yes What's the problem with that? Well, I always thought it was an issue Um, I wanted to expose the relationship. But no listen what I'm trying to say You were too young. Okay Uh, why were you dating a man at 46 years old? Uh, was he wanting to get married? He didn't state that he wanted to get married. Right. Okay. Yeah Okay, so there are a lot of moving parts here first of all That large of an age gap um You really should have been dating that man and and did you know you wanted to get married? At the time, no. Okay. Okay. All right. So All right, that makes sense You were just kicking it Yeah So and you didn't want to tell your father because you knew it would be your problem Yes All right, but you ladies need to stop kicking it for so long. You don't kick it for four years.  Dating other people But due to the All right, um You got a lot of things going on man. I can't in a bullet point number one, you can't not you can't not involve Your father or men because i'ma just tell you it doesn't sound like you make the best decision when it comes to men Dating a 46 year old man just to kick it Uh, no, and then if you got a lot of other guys going on Guys of marriage minded men are going to run your cat facts And they're gonna and they're gonna look at your relationships and they're gonna say why in the hell are you dating a 46 year old guy over here 25 year old guy over here just over here and your daddy don't know too much problem I'm gonna get over here And they got nothing to do with the way you dress it has everything to do with the way you approach the market and your character So first things first, uh, I always say Everybody needs some therapy I don't know what your home life was But keeping something like that so big from your father for one two three you hit this man for two plus years three years Yes, I just now Let my father And it went and and are you guys still together or are you broken up?  Um Yeah, uh, I don't know why you didn't trust your father. Um to help guide you through this process But that would be something I would look at number one number two Um That sounds like some underlying issues there, man. This really does and then number three, uh, when you say you want to be married inside two years It goes back to the question of why do you want to be married? Do you want to be a housewife and all these other things? Oftentimes young ladies like yourself would touch a chaotic kind of dating history. You really don't know what you want You just want what sounds good And that's why it's hard to find anything because It's make believe Got it Got it. Thank you sweet Come on back Unmute yourself Money world.  I'm going to ask you to unmute yourself one more time And if you unmute yourself you can go ahead and speak So, yeah Let's talk about this a lot What I noticed a lot of times with these dangerous zone kind of women. They have these long Long relationships that go nowhere If you know you want to be married, why are you dating somebody two years three years five years? Knock it off, man. You're not gonna Okay, sweet. So you're not doing what you're supposed to do.  Yeah, I liked her man She had long hair pretty nice hazel eyes nice smile. Yeah. Yep. Yeah, I'd love to Yep Yep Uh wasting your time. No sis 27 The way the way in which just your avatar Miami's a really competitive city, but you got no real problems Uh, as long as you clear that mess out Yeah, hey guys leave that. I'ma leave that one alone. Um, I try not to I try not to get too deep in that that was a big gap Too big a gap for me to be comfortable with especially Especially when you uh Especially when you I don't want to hear from you guys man Guys, I'm not asking for guys to call in. I'm not asking for guys to call in so no See Take something from here's what I want you guys to take from a one That danger zone thing is real You get to 27 and you know, you want to be a wife stop playing games.  Well, she got played like that because she didn't tell her daddy She didn't she wanted to get played That's just not cool.  I'd be dating a woman at age. No, no not 19 Uh That's that's just She's legal, but it's not for me nothing. It's legal not for me. Um You ladies need Men in your life that can tell you the frank honest truth And yes, you need men in your life that can risk being rude Let me say that again. You need men in your life that can risk being rude Uh sugar pea up adriana strickling your necks and then sweet. So you still uh, what's going on sugar pea? You need men in your life that can risk being rude as to unmute yourself Sugar pea, how are you? How are you? Yeah, I can good. How are you good? You're in a marriage market. Yes Yes, do you know?  I let them know like when I meet them like I discuss what are their goals like, you know, and the guys I've been meeting they also let me know that they're not Look wait looking away Sorry But she says she lets in up front when you're discussing goals and what you want to this uh, this is a first date Session, this is a this is a predate conversation as far as I'm concerned I don't even I would suggest to women. You don't even go out with a man without letting it with As soon as possible But thank you. That's why I want you to call in and how's that and has that how many men are that scared Has that scared any guys off? I mean There are some guys that might stick around. I think if and I have like let's say they stick around when they Play games. I feel like I probably vet by just seeing by their actions and not being played by words That they're serious and but they're I mean the men that I since I moved to hueson I'm on a break now with this coronavirus, right? But they're Dating that um, you know, they agree they stick around. They're very consistent And I mean, that's their goal too.  How are you? Another day that hey, uh, you need to go ahead and unmute yourself I can't hear you. You got on blue. There you go There we go. You're you're go. What's going on? Hi How are you? What did I get wrong? How are you? Um, nothing. I just can you hear me?  Can you hear me? I can't hear you fine Hi, so, um I am 28 Um, I I don't know where to start. I'm just trying to figure out why I'm single. So I'm gonna figure out why you single Let me ask you some questions Okay, okay. Uh, will you raise a mom and dad? Yes, both parents. Uh, were they married? Yes Any siblings? Yes, too Uh, and your dad was in the house until you graduated from high school Yes, okay. Um, and what was the last what's the last relationship you had? Um, my last relationship was last year last year and how long was that Not long like maybe a year six months a year. It was after grad school. Okay. Uh, oh What's the longest relationship you ever had? Um A year and a half he was french. I was when I was living in france. All right. What'd you go to grad school for? Um speech pathology. All right. What's your undergrad in? Um, french and speech pathology. All right So and you spent time in in france for how long? Two years All right, and what city are you in now? I'm in los angeles Los angeles All right. Well one the competition is high in los angeles Yeah, I've been getting I just joined this app called the league and it takes they say six months to like get on but I got on like I applied yesterday and I got on today. All right, well the competition is stiff in los angeles It is. Yeah a lot of beautiful women in los angeles. And do you want to be a housewife? Um, yeah, I do I think yeah, and how many children do you want to have? Two mac two. Yeah Mm-hmm and do you ever want to have to work to pay significant bills? Um, no I don't not really okay. So you want I want to create okay. No. Okay. So I don't in LA How much does it how much do you think a man would need to make? To be able to take I know I know I've looked this up. Okay. I want my friends um, well to be comfortable in LA you need at least 100 and um 30 but that's not that's but to take care of two children. I would say Probably like whoof like 400 Yeah, all right. So I gotta I got a hard question for you ready for it Buckle in yeah buckle in Are you a $400,000 a year woman? I've been dating men in that range Um, but the problem is they haven't proposed they haven't dropped the ring No, they have not they have not because I haven't I wasn't sure what I okay I wasn't sure what I wanted So I just started working because I just graduated. So I just started like working last you skip the question I asked Yeah Are you a $400,000 a year woman? I think so. Yeah, I think so What would you rank yourself on the scale from one to ten and you cannot use a seven on the scale of physical facial beauty I would say um an eight nine nine. Yeah nine. Yeah an LA nine or uh An LA nine Because LA is different It is it is Um, I model.  No, let me log out of this Okay, back. All right. Well, I mean All right. Do you date are you only into black men? Um, no I date other entities. No. All right. And what dress size do you wear? Um, eight two what to say you like you're kind of thin you're like a two a zero two so The the amount of american men that make wrong the amount of american men that make like Well, $400,000 or more. What percentage of men do you think make that in this country? Oh, I don't know maybe like Like three or four percent, maybe perhaps No, it's like one percent One one percent. Okay. So you're looking for one percent of men And one percent of men I gotta be honest They typically marry their own race unless She is beautiful or gorgeous Right and I went to an image consultant for like my acting And of course I had straight hair and stuff like when I go with an image consultant I went to an image consultant for acting as well And he was white and he just he told me he was like you're the He was like, I'm the woman that women love to hate and um, he told me that I look like I'm gonna be upscale and I'm gonna do like attractive careers And he also told me that I would be like the second wife, whatever that means Okay, yeah Okay And the long relationship you had was like a year and a half To yeah year and a half too. Why didn't he propose to you? Oh, well, it really wasn't what did a year? Let me see. I was 21 And I moved back to america Okay, so that's what happened. I moved back to america. That was my longest. We were supposed young He was like 23. I was 21. He was getting his master's in engineering. Why didn't he ask you to marry him? Um He didn't really have anything. He was like a student. We were both young and I moved back to america I don't I don't think it was that long because let's see. I went to okay, baby girl, baby girl.  How do you 28? I am it's too big of it's too big of an ask for a woman.   Yeah, do it do it. All right.  No, okay. Don't do now. Don't do now. Okay. Pam Greer Here's some women to check Pam Greer Uh dorthy dandridge Diane carol Uh Jane kennedy Yeah, these are all women back from the 70s.  They were not fashion models. So you're very slight So you can model a lot, but you're really thin and uh, that's why I would I would say you probably wear two The more anything else a two or zero Um And then how tall are you? 58 Okay, so you have a model's physique um, I don't I mean you can get guys who will be attracted to you with Speaking french How many languages you speak Two one bilingual. Yeah, so I would say your best bet honestly in LA would be to work with a matchmaker Yeah, I um was going to do that a one woman contact That's gonna be that's gonna be just trying to meet somebody off the rip Because you're your particular set of market Benefits aren't for the rank and file American you you're very different. You spent time in France Matchmaker um, okay And that will allow at least allow you to be put in proximity With men who have the kind of means you're talking about who who would need a wife Who could be bilingual and those kind of things those are selling points Um, okay, but as far as if you just got to just straight up compete on just physical beauty The stakes are too high in LA. I mean because you're you're not there. You're not in LA nine You know, we're kind of right there in the middle. Okay Okay, that would be my suggestion Okay Join my Facebook match maker. I'm on it. I'm on it. I gotta get to the next thing. It's almost one o'clock. Thank you Okay, thanks. Bye. Bye Yeah guys, see she's uh, when you when you built like a model, you know They're in LA man. You gotta understand LA is a different place. LA is like new york city um and Being bilingual Yeah Is a selling point for a lot of guys. Hello tamara Hello one two Hello Yeah, don't be rude in the chat room guys. Be nice tamara. What's going on? Oh, hi. Um, I'm just calling this first time that I'm calling and I've been watching for a while And I'm in the danger zone. All right. Well, what did I get wrong? I don't think you got anything wrong. I was in the the chat and um, it's unfortunate, but uh, I was raised with predominantly my filipino family And a lot of them they Warned me from marriage and they scared me from it. So I'm 34 now And I realized probably within 31. I was like, why did I wait so long? Why didn't I get into Finding somebody? Um, and I just focused on my career working your career. You're 34. Yes. What do you do for a living? I'm a consultant for a hospital. Okay um And in your background, did you say latino was it? Uh, filipino. I'm half filipino and half black Are you one of the people that stabbing it?  So, uh, all right. So, uh, any children? No children Uh, and how tall are you? 53 Uh, what's your size? Uh, 14 Lost some weight recently.  Uh, 190 Okay Obviously, uh, that's that's on the upper side and if you had to rank yourself on the scale from one to ten On your face and you cannot use a seven. What would you put it? I would say a six and I know because I'm older. So I would say a six. All right. Well, um, Have you won the last time you were a normal healthy weight? Uh, I was 229 And how much did you weigh then? 160 and I'm I was an athletic build that did power lifting and things like that. All right. Uh, So you're five foot three? Yes So a normal healthy weight for five foot three is right about 120. When were you when last time you were there? that size I I can't even tell you not not even high school. I've always been athletic Okay, but you didn't come out of the womb and just go athletic. No, no, I but I don't think when I was younger I was weighing myself. So I started weighing myself probably in high school. That's why I try to use dress size and everything Yeah, but but uh, obviously Um, do you want to be a state? Do you want to have children? Yes, how many? At least one At least one. Okay. Uh, and then do you want to work? I do Okay, so you don't want to be a stay-at-home mother? No. All right. Uh It goes to say that And I and what northeast southwest what region of the country? Oh, I live in california. All right Northern california or southern? all right I wish more women would take care of their physical weight in dress size because this has more to do with your ability To find a man than anything else um When you say when you tell women where they prepare to be wives And and I asked myself that question as you asked them and I wasn't right. I was prepared to take care of myself Um to make my own money. I wasn't marriage minded Okay, and as a consultant up in for hospitals, uh, because the bay area northern california is rather expensive You have your own place. Do you have a roommate? I do? No, I live by myself on my own house. Okay. Um Because I weigh 200 and I'm like a foot. I'm a foot and inch taller than you That's a big that's a big issue What are you doing to get that weight down significantly? This year I've started doing keto Um, or in the last couple months and and I I work out almost every day Um, do you have a personal trainer? I did I did until COVID started and um, you know, I have several clients who are personal trainers. That doesn't stop you Yeah, that's true. Do you have a nutritionist? I don't have an image consultant I don't I think hearing you was the first time I've heard of that happening. All right. Have you ever sat down with a therapist? Yes, okay How long ago was that? I started last year And it's but it's interesting because again not being marriage minded. I focused on a lot of work stress Um, and so I I I definitely want to steer my conversations into relational stress Well, I mean So obviously if you waited late in life and you never prioritized it you're gonna have to make much more realistic marriages is Doesn't sound like it, but I just want to go ahead and say this. There is no disney romance There's no soulmate. There's nothing that in your future. Yeah in your future It's going to be much more of a partnership that doesn't mean a love that does not mean a a passionless sexless contractual agreement but But men are visually stimulated Yeah So you may so everything that you worked on means nothing to a man And that's a hard pill for a lot of women to swallow because you're proud of a lot of women like yourself are proud of what you've accomplished You own a home. You have a career, but that does nothing for a man I know and I've been told the opposite What you what you've been told That if you have if you're independent woman, right, you know that feminist messaging But who told you have your own house who told you that?  They they praised me for right focusing on school because they didn't Right and see I want to do a show on how often uh Older women jack up younger women Yeah, lying to you and here's the thing I guarantee you None of them would have given up their their their husbands and their children for what you have I would agree If you really want to have your best shot, I'ma tell you need to get down to address your five foot three You need to get down to dress size six and it's possible Yeah, uh, you did not come out of the womb As a stocky power lifter right, so Focus on getting your weight down like the way you focused on getting your career Because you are be amazed at how often how much your romance prospects will Improve as your dress size decreases Yeah Kevin can I ask you one more question? Go ahead. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah, uh, so, um Um, I'm also celibate and so I find that recently as I've been Celebit, yeah, I'm waiting till marriage not a virgin wait, but waiting till marriage. Okay. Um, why how do you? Uh, I've always felt that I should be doing that for my religious beliefs But I didn't um, and I wanted to really just really ever you christian. Yes, sir Who's the last time you had sex? Six years It's gonna be a hard pill. It's gonna be hard to sell tamra.   I'm gonna tell you right now Unless you're a virgin it's hard to sell that Because here's what men here you're celibate, but then they sit and look at your career path And then how you and then your body and things like that and they're like, well Being celibate is not hard if you're not really means sought after by a lot of men That's what that's how a man might as that's how a lot of men's minds process See, it's harder to be celibate when you're a little victoria secret model Or a hot little piece, okay Um I'm not saying it's impossible, but Finding a man who's a virgin in his late 30s Oh, no, it doesn't have to be a virgin But that's what it's gonna. No, because I'm not a virgin But but again, that's what it's gonna kind of retake Most men are sexually active Yeah, and they're not going and I'll be honest most men are not going to marry you without knowing how you are in bed At this advanced age Yeah, it is unrealistic Yeah So I don't know how important it is for you, but basically what you're doing is you're you're making it to where you're going to die alone Let me go ahead and put I'm take out. I'm gonna put a fine point on it.  Yeah, not even yeah Well, I thank you Kevin. I know there's a lot of women that give you flack, but I appreciate Again, I didn't you didn't ask me, but I wasn't raised with my father. So you're just you're very honest You're to the point Um, and I think too many times we're told the disney story and we need to hear Honest feedback and it's not harsh. It's just honest and it may feel bad But it's honest, but you have choices that you can make and if you make choices and do something about the choices Then you can greatly improve your outcomes. See, yeah I also the question is How can you live a happy life? Because you may have things, but I don't hear happiness Yeah, and happiness is in human interaction and connection Not I mean we all want human beings want an emotionally profound Relationship, but we also need us a network of things as well And too many of too many people in this country have been taught to go out and get a career And get your house in it and we're all sitting in our houses like this with coronavirus happening like this ain't it Okay, thank you tamer. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Bye. All right guys I'm gonna try to get through these And I'm gonna get out of here. Oh Three more people calling. All right. Let's try to get this done Who's just getting late? Hot topic though, I guess All right sweet Hello Hello Sweet soul going once Sweet soul going twice Sweet soul Out of here All right So here we go Sounds nice. Yeah, she sounds pretty nice. Uh Hello need to unmute yourself Money world Last two people in the trying to get in look man there's The more things we put on our situation the more people we put on our uh The more things this is what rebecca lampo was talking about, you know Unrealistic standards, we don't have to have these things Uh Let me go ahead unmute yourself full law All right, you unmute yourself Hello Hello, can you hear me now? I can Excellent. Um, yes. Thanks for taking my call I'm super nervous. Uh-huh. You're super nervous. Yes. Don't have to be Yeah, I'm to be well, um I've been listening to your show for a week before we get started. Can I get your first name, please? Sorry, folla. Fola. How are you folla? I'm well. Thanks. How are you? I'm good. All right. What can I do for you? Okay, so I am um over the wall. I suppose I'm 40. All right Um never been married. So really just looking for some advice not had Uh, secure family, which is I think is kind of part Definitely part of the reason and that's just even more pertinent listening to you um been in therapy And uh looking to see how I can move things forward Okay, so you said you've never been married You said something about a secure. What would you mention about your family? Um, not a secure family come from a very disrupted family. Oh, okay. And uh, how's therapy progressing? It's good. It's it's it's been on and off for the past like year and a half Okay, um, but I've really learned a lot about myself, which is why I think I'm ready to actually have a relationship All right, and and you see your therapist how consistently? um It's not being so consistent at the moment, but I was going like I've been seeing somebody weekly. Okay. Um Just need to make sure the finances are in order so I can keep on All right, and where are you and are you in the are you in the states? No, I'm in london. So I actually stayed up to speak to you. I've been I actually emailed you as well Oh, cool. Shout out to people in civil law. London actually was on my possible to move to cities I will I'm trying to I would have loved to be there on civil row. So you're 40. Okay. Yes. Um, So let's get some preliminary.  I did Uh, and what did you go to school for? I went to school for law Um, but then I actually moved into fashion. So I was then working in fashion pr Okay, all right. All right, but but that love thing boy. I know I know what you're gonna say Are you in fashion? Uh, how tall are you? Five six. I'm a uk uk dress size 10 to 12 which is a us six to eight Okay, and this is the biggest I've been I've actually put on Um, I've put on about half a dress size in the last Eight to ten months. All right. Uh How social are you when when there is no cobit? Not as social as I need to be as I say I think I was going through so much else with regards to my personal life that my social life Just was on the back burner, which is part of the reason that I know that I'm single But I think the other part of the reason that I'm single is because I just wasn't I know I wasn't kind of socially equipped to to maintain. What was the longest? When was the longest relationship you ever had? When I was in my early 20s. I had a relationship for two years and then Okay, after that, it's just been Okay, not much dating so so and that ends when you were what 24 25 21 24 24 Yeah, so for 16 years you've been out of it Basically, yeah. All right. So first thing I would say is Uh, you're gonna your your social skills or interpersonal communication skills Are rusty an image the b and the c part you may have the a part uh The behavior and the communication that's where really uh And this happens far too often with people who really tend to go turn inward I focus on career and things like that. What are your what are your plans to actually start getting out and being coming more social? as We start as the pandemic starts to wind down Well, this is the trouble that I was having because obviously I don't want to go to clubs because that's not necessarily going to be the best thing So I was looking at you know, I go out to dinner with friends and you know, I I socialize with people that I feel are That would introduce me to or hang around with the kind of people and men that I want to meet But I'm just really mindful of not just trying to go from one bar to another Well, so here's the thing. Do you have would you have a group of friends that are unmarried? Most of us Most of us are yes, so so so Have you considered working with a matchmaker? That's what I'm looking at after speaking after listening to your show is getting an image consultant Well, I mean because if you work in fashion Our businesses should really put us in Improximity with people, but that's a harsh part. You don't know what you're going to get It just don't I mean you can have creatives and you can have crazies And then at 40, you know Your particular the particular things that you may need or want You're more set in your ways matchmakers are Are going to have more of a list of people like-minded people Then you could just go into a bar that's you don't have time to do exactly And that will be what I would say You're already in fashion Get your own image consult from don't do your own work Get get a second opinion. I did it myself if you go back on my channel I actually had two people I work with and I Don't do your don't do your own stuff number one number two personal trainer and matchmaker Because you want to look good in your little black dress regardless So you got to keep yourself in shape fit to give yourself the best chances up period And see matchmakers also Tend to have suggestions of things to do to help you become More socially adroit in a non-pandemic situation So that would be my suggestion, right London London provides a place For it's a lot of singles in London It's like a new year. It's like a difference. It's like I think of another new york city But It's not uncommon to find people You know in their late 20s 30s 40s who are single over there And it's like it's not like being over here to be in Fayetteville, arkansas That's a death sentence here over there. Not so much Just different But keep me posted Yeah, I feel that I feel that there's a culture of of not Of not getting married in london. That's what they're like not not everyone not everybody but It's not so I maybe it's I've been in the states for a while as well Um, but they seem to be more of a cohesion to want to get married Whereas here it's that's why you go to the people. That's why you take out That's why you take out that part of it and you go towards the matchmaker that kind of stuff the people who raise their hand because The culture the culture is a hook-up culture right now the culture is Marriage is on the decline, but there are people who still get married Uh, and those people are having to do things differently than than our parents our grandparents and our great-grandparents Absolutely, so I'm gonna wrap the show up though. I appreciate it. It's getting almost one o'clock. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye Oh joy. Oh joy. I'll give you three minutes Joy is the last person Joy joy joy Oh joy Joy Hello Hello Hello Hello, can you hear me? I can what's your first name? Joy Joy What can I do for you joy? Kevin forgive me. I can't stay that long just because of the time difference but I wanted to call in because Just like the other guy that was saying that she's 23 as a uni student I wanted to thank you for the advice that you do give because even though it's a bit uncomfortable It's nonetheless wise and it's grounded in balance And I really wanted to thank you because it's helped me to change my perspective and yeah So I just wanted to say that and I let you go because I know there are others that want to ask questions But thank you. Thank you very much. You have a good evening. Bye.  I'm damn sure far from it But It always helps women to hear what the men The kind of men they say they want are thinking My clients are the very guys that a lot of you ladies would like And that's what it really comes down to We're in the blue blazes is going on with this. Um That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool Oh, that's what it is. All right guys. It's late. It's getting late. This was a good show But remember you need to ask yourself a question if you are If you know, you're you know, you're in the danger zone stop acting like you're not Jumping in that cold water and shake yourself off therapy personal training image consultant matchmaker Women who are really going after the things they say they want in a serious way Change their prospects Let's say what I'm saying is complete crap Let's say you never find the guy or you never get found by the guy What's the downside of having your head on right having your heart in a clear space Being able to look good in that little black dress and having a broad network of friends and living a happy life I'm not I'm not making any promises to the change this world. It is what it is. We got what we got But here's the thing Just like I was talking about my facebook group the mix it's been going for less than 45 days less than 40 days and one couple has already met one couple met inside of two weeks People are meeting If they want to meet and I want guys to be living the best version of the best version of themselves and living a happy life and ladies men want women and part of living happy life is living a life of Of of significance if and when you choose to get with somebody You do yourself no good by acting like it does not exist. So It has been a good show. It's been fun. It's been good But we got to get up out of here. Wait till tomorrow night show. I cannot wait till tomorrow night show I don't want to tip my hand But if I tell you now You be like I got to get in here. So tomorrow make sure we check out tomorrow night show But until then peace We are Gone Yes The playlist is coming out this week. Yes, I've heard you I'm gonna put together a playlist that you can drive to Displies it You can groove to That soothes you Call me on patreon Videos you will only see there Monday 6 30 east and center time live stream Join me on ig open the front room for videos that are Every day behind the scenes. Can I wait till my drone comes in in the morning drone footage Email me at buy kevin samuels.com with your show ideas things like that You want to book your one-on-one session for the buy kevin samuels.com Even business the look style or life or the personal profession You can level up and be your personal best each and every day If you're interested in any of that do us both a favor Follow the link in the description and book your one-on-one session with me details down in the description. Peace