Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the common reasons why men say, you're intimidating, why do guys say you're intimidating? Well, we're gonna dive into that. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if anytime during this video, the content resonates with you, I please ask you to hit that like button so it gets seen in the YouTube algorithms. And lastly, this is your explicit language warning. Yes, I do occasionally use expletives to enhance a sentence, not occasionally frequently. So if that is not your cup of tea, I highly suggest you logging off right now because there'll be some F-bombs thrown along the way. All right, our topic, the common reasons why men say you're intimidating. So let me share with you why I wanted to do this topic because I actually heard something very fascinating not too long ago from, I've actually heard this a number of times, but it really seemed to be prevalent recently, how some women have said, Jonathan, you're very intimidating. I couldn't be in relationship with you because you're intimidating. And I'm like, my first reaction is why? I'm just a big teddy bear guy. I mean, yes, I'm six foot two and I'm kind of big broad shoulder to whatnot. Why am I intimidating to someone? Because I really think I have, I mean, I have a hard exterior and I have a mushy exterior, interior. So why would someone be intimidated by that? Well, as I dug a little deeper with a few women and actually asked this question of some women, I know they said, well, a couple of things, Jonathan, many women might think that you might be because of what you do for a living because you're in personal development because you're kind of a therapist or a counselor that they might think that you might be analyzing them, that you might be analyzing them. And yeah, and quite frankly, that's true. I do analyze people. It's just kind of my nature to analyze people, to observe people because I'm fascinated with human behavior. So there's some truth to that. The other thing I heard in addition, oh, by the way, I'll get to men and women in the second, but the other thing I've heard is that a lot of women feel like I might know more about relationships than them and that feels intimidating. And I thought, well, why would that feel intimidating? The fact that I probably study relationships and know more to me feels like I could be a good guide to a person, but for someone to feel intimidated by that really leans into the conversation we're going to have today. What are the common reasons to feel intimidated by another human being? Before I share that though, I want to tell you two quick stories though, to illustrate something that I found very interesting when I've heard women say men are intimidated by them. So let me tell you the story about a woman I dated oh, about 12, 13 years ago. This was shortly after my divorce.  And it was interesting, we got fixed up by someone.  What is she doing with me? That was kind of my first reaction, but I kind of got over that. And she's rich, what is she doing with me? And I kind of got over that, but I did have a temporary feeling of insecurity, a temporary feeling of insecurity. But once we began a relationship together, I didn't feel any insecure about the fact that she was an attractive woman interested in me and I didn't feel insecure that she had more financial wealth than I did. I didn't feel insecure about that. But what happened is we went on to go, we went on to have a couple of months relationship and then the relationship ended. Now, why I'm sharing this story is what was so fascinating to me is she began to tell all her friends that the reason, and by the way, I ended the relationship. And she began to tell all her friends the reason why I ended the relationship was that I was intimidated by her. I was intimidated by her. That was the furthest thing from the truth. The last thing I was was intimidated by her because the real reason why I ended the relationship was she seemed rather selfish. She was quite controlling. She was condescending to me and she wasn't a really good partner for me. We were misaligned in who we are and what we want. So that was the reason why I ended the relationship. But because she was so financially successful, she went on to believe that the narrative was, I wasn't interested in her because I felt inferior to her financial success. Which was the furthest thing from the truth. So I see a lot of successful, highly successful women state this narrative on a regular basis because they might have more wealth than a man. And that the reason why the man ended the relationship because he couldn't handle the wealth. Well, it's quite possible that they had a lot more to do with behavior than the fact that someone was financially successful then. Now, I wanna tell you another story and then I'll get into the real common reasons why this happens. So I wanted to tell you the story about a woman. This was a couple of years back. I swiped, by the way, if you're familiar with dating apps, the swiping right and swiping left, I swiped right to a very attractive woman who happened to live nearby me here where I live in Los Angeles, California. And as I scrolled through her pictures, I mean, she was a jock. I mean, she was jumping off of mountains and her pictures were skydiving and snowing and climbing and every picture was a jock picture in my mind. I called it jock. And what I mean is she was incredibly athletic. And right off the bat, I was a little bit intimidated by that. Now, what I mean by intimidated was I was afraid I wouldn't be accepted because I'm not a jock.  And so I actually, we both swiped each other and so when she reached out to me because it was an app where she did the asking, I said, hey, look, I see that you're highly athletic and my instincts tell me that you probably would prefer to be with a man who's also highly athletic. Is that true for you? And she wrote me back and said, yes, that's exactly what I'm looking for. So while my initial reaction might've felt intimidation, it was really, I didn't think we were a good fit for one another. And so I actually expressed it early on and the beauty was she concurred what I had already thought and we didn't move forward in exploring a relationship together. So I'm trying to share with you what was going on inside my mind in two different cases where one woman claimed I was intimidated by her, which wasn't true. And another situation where I was a little bit concerned, we might not be aligned with one another. It felt a little intimidating. Oops, did you hear my voice? My pitch just went up.  Not to say I don't do athletic things, but it's not a constant in my life.  So now I wanna lean into those common reasons that cause someone to claim that someone is intimidating. And the most common reason of all is a lack of feeling accepted, a lack of feeling accepted by another person. Anytime we feel like we may not be accepted by another person because they might have something more than what we have to offer. I'm gonna repeat that. They have something more than we have to offer. That can actually feel intimidating up to a person.   It's a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work as a vaccination to emotional chaos, which is usually a basis based on fears and insecurity of not being accepted for who we are. Let me repeat that. Fears and insecurities of not being accepted for who we are. Because that's the most common reason why someone might feel intimidated. Somebody might have something more than what they have and there is a fear that they won't be accepted for who they are because they have less. It might be wealth. It might be physical. It might be emotional. Like in the case of a lot of women, they feel it's fascinated to me that they think that they're inferior to me because I happen to know more. But that's just, but that's not true. I haven't done, very rarely does a woman or a man actually do something to intimidate a person. I want you to think about intimidating. Like someone has a baseball bat and is about to hit you. That can feel intimidating because you might get hurt, right? But the reality is from an emotional perspective or from a dating perspective, very few people actually do something to another person. It's usually when a person feels lack compared to someone else, they might feel less, they might have a feeling of not, they're not going to be accepted because they have less. And that's the actual narrative that happens when someone says or when someone claims that you're intimidating. It's because you happen to have a little more than somebody else and they feel like they won't be accepted. Now, is it could be that they're actually truly intimidated by that or they might not, by the way, I'm not going into those egoic men who feel like they need more than somebody else to feel superior. I'm not talking about those kinds of men. When a man rejects a woman, I'm gonna use the word rejects, but ends a relationship with a woman because she might have more than him and because he has an egoic competitive nature, that's not intimidation that caused him to leave. That's his ego being in a competitive mode of I have to be better than someone. And a lot of times that's the narrative that's going on is a lot of women say that they're intimidated by a woman's success, but it quite frankly could have simply been is his ego isn't appreciative of your success because he believes he has to have more, but that's not an intimidation. That's a competition to be better than someone. And when people are in competition with one another, those relationships tend to fail most of the time anyway. So I'm trying to give you some perspective on what might be actually happening when we hear the phrase I'm intimidated by you or when a woman says he's intimidated by me. At least these are some examples that I hope some shed some light so we can come from a place of compassion. We can come from a place of love. We can come from a place of understanding because this is one of the books I highly recommend to be in this state of being is read the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. This is a great book to take out all the gender bullshit and expectations and we can start coming from a heart centered compassionate place of approaching the dating process with a lot more love in our hearts and a lot less ego. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Hit that thumbs up or write an amen in the chat box. All right, I think it's time for Q and A right now. So we're gonna shift to Q and A for those that are on the live chat right now if you're listening to the recording or you're watching the replay, just know that you can post a question in the comment section. Now really quickly, if you have a question write the word question and then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker or super chat. The super stickers and super chats and post your question inside there. All the funds go to a foundation I'm starting on behalf of my son Connor who passed away. Actually it's coming up on the anniversary of him passing away and goes into a scholarship fund for to help support people in personal development. So if you purchase a super sticker or super chat you can post a question or you can write the word question and post the question and we're gonna get started with Q and A in just one second because I forgot my drink and I have to go grab it really quickly. All right, I'm back. All right, let's see what we have in the Q and A board. Oh, by the way, my coffee mug says swear a little you'll feel better.  I feel so much better. All right, let's see what we have in the Q and A board. All right, Ouija writes question, how do I overcome if I feel intimidated by my partner? How to communicate with another human being? Great question, great question. So first off, I recommend everybody read this book called, hold on one second, read this book called nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg, it should have been called compassionate communication. This teaches you the techniques to come from a place of I statements, I statements. In other words, I feel this way or this is how I'm feeling and express yourself because here's the thing. Ouija, when you say you're intimidated by him, what are you in fear of? Because what is intimidation but fear? So what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of? Let's explore that, post what you're afraid of and let's explore that because to say the word intimidated is a blanket statement. Let's dig a little bit deeper as to what's going on on the inside that's causing you to feel intimidated. So Ouija, great question. Thank you so much and I invite you to post it, okay? All right, mystic with lipstick. Question, is it intimidating to be forward on how you feel about a person? No love bomb, just being frank and honest, cutting through the BS or is that a turn off? Okay, great question. So first off, let's differentiate between intimidating and a turn off. Intimidating is bump, bump, bump. I want you to think of it. Imagine you're communicating with a baseball bat and you're actually going to hit them. Is that what they're feeling based on what you're talking about? Or as you stated, is it a turn off? So going back to your original question, expressing how you feel to another human being is actually a turn on to most people even if they're not into you.  It is a turn on to most people. The only reason why someone might react in a turn off is because if they can't reciprocate the feelings, it could put them in an uncomfortable state of having to say, I don't have the same feeling. So it's not a turn off, it just puts them in an awkward state of having to say, I might not feel the same way. But I'm a, let me go back to this question. But being frank, being honest, so I'm a big proponent of everybody being authentic, excuse me, to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent with people. Let me repeat that, to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent with people. Going back to my book, What the Heck Is Self Love? Anyway, by the way, there's a link below to all my recommended books, scheduling a free discovery call with me, seeing if working with the coach is right for you. The link is below. Chapter one in my book though is called Speak Your Truth, Do It With Kindness. And then later in chapter nine, the chapter is if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So mystic with lipstick, let me just say this, when you're in the right relationship, you should feel safe enough to express yourself completely when you're in the right relationship. It's only when we're in the wrong relationship do we have fear of expressing ourselves. But let me tell you why we oftentimes end up in the wrong relationships. It's because human beings do a terrible job of actually developing friendships with one another, true deep friendship. And why I'm sharing this with you, I'm fascinated with how many women come to me for dating advice and they're absolutely afraid to speak to their partner. Let me say this, they're afraid to speak to their partner. Shouldn't the person that you're having regular sex with, you should, shouldn't you be able to communicate with them like they're your best friend? And what I mean to say is, shouldn't you feel safe enough to say almost anything? Shouldn't you feel safe enough to be vulnerable? Shouldn't you feel safe enough to be authentic? Shouldn't you feel safe enough to be transparent? If you're not feeling safe enough to be authentic, transparent and vulnerable with your partner, my suspicion is you two aren't really good friends. So why are you having sex with someone who's not a good friend of yours?  I'm saying the person you should be, you're having sex with should be the person that you could feel the safest to communicating with.  I talk to women who have been in one, two, three, four, five year relationships and they're not even friends with the guy. And what I mean is they don't feel safe to communicate with one another. And one of the best ways to create safety in a relationship, I highly recommend reading this book called, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. This is the foundational piece to build that level of safety and trust with one another so you can communicate at a much deeper level instead of the surface level most everybody is dating at because they've read the book, the rules, the rules. Everybody who read the book, the rules is dating at a very superficial level. It's all about let's just have a good time. I'm only here to have a good time. I want something casual. I just wanna have a good time. Let's just have a good time. You just sit back in your feminine energy and I'll do all the work as a man because I know what I'm doing. You just sit back and I'll do all the work and you just have a good time. You sit in your feminine energy because I'm the masculine, I'm gonna do all the work.    They're just sitting back and being soft and feminine because that's what men like is soft and feminine. No, men like women who speak up, real, oops, I almost said real men. Let me rewind that. Emotionally healthy men want women who can speak their truth, that can be vocal, that can be vulnerable, authentic and transparent.  Mystic, I went off on a tangent but I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Folks, does that make sense what I'm saying? Does that resonate with you? If you wanna be able to communicate with your partner, then you have to learn to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent. And I recommend reading these books that I've been suggesting to help you get there. All right, thank you for your question. Michael says, amen, thank you. All right, sunshiney says, mystic, great question, I agree, grace says, amen, I agree too, thank you. Okay, Purisitori's networks writes, question, is there something I could do or should I do differently if people constantly feel I'm intimidating? What do you think? Again, folks, all right, here's what I would do, Purisitori. What is it that you're intimidated by? What is the fear? I would ask him, what fear are you feeling from me? What fear are you feeling from me? Because what is intimidation? I'm scared, right? That's what intimidation is, you've scared someone. So what is it about you? What are you either doing or what is it about you that's scaring someone? So now you find out that you make more money from them. So my response to the person that says, oh, so you're intimidated by my financial success.  Now, that was a joke, I'm just being silly, but what is it about you that feels inferior because it's not about me, it's about you? Don't forget, when someone says you're intimidating, look at those three fingers pointing back at them. There is a fear that's going on inside of them, so I invite you, Sitori, to learn what is it that they're feeling regarding you and then address that? That's my invitation when someone says, or friends, people say you're intimidating. Find out what it is that you're either doing or who you are that causes them to feel inferior about themselves. And you might even say, so what is it about you that feels inferior to me? Oh, I love that question. So, and I'm being rhetorical here, by the way, what is it about you that feels inferior to me? So anyway, great question, thank you so much. All righty, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Michael says, Jonathan's library, correct. Jacqueline, love this book, I'm reading it now. The sex chapter is amazing. She's talking about the book, Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman.  Okay, Ouija, I read the book you recommended, which also gives me a little fear of not practicing and demonstrating perfectly. Well enough as the book describes. Hey, you know what? Practice makes perfect. Keep doing something over and over again until you just get really good at it. That's my invitation for you. All right, let's see. Okay, this is the original, let's go back to Ouija. So what she says, I'm afraid of not, I'm not good enough. I'm going to make mistakes in the relationship that will lead to disaster. Okay, my voice and imagination with past experiences. All right, love this. Thank you, you've actually now expressed what your fear is, okay? Now, I highly recommend Ouija, after you've read my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, linked below, I highly recommend you read the book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process. This is a deep dive into healing childhood wounds and traumas, childhood wounds and traumas that causes to have negative patterns and limiting beliefs in our lives. Ouija, what you're expressing is either a negative pattern or limiting belief in your life that you're not good enough. This book will help you literally put a blanket of self-love around you, so it will shore up your, I'm not good enough, because these two books, my book and this book, I highly recommend is like a vaccination to emotional chaos because the number one a health issue, emotional health issue, facing almost everybody is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. This is why I highly recommend doing the inner work so that when you're actually in relationship with someone, you feel stronger and empowered to lean into, lean into the relationship.  Oh my God, what a great book this is. Now folks, I wanna share something with you. I just recommended the Hoffman process, you can see that. I got in the mail a couple of days ago a letter from the Hoffman Institute. I was shocked to get this, but I wanna read it to you. It says, dearest Jonathan, I wanted to write a note to thank you for repeatedly recommending the Hoffman process. You talking about it has helped me clean, has helped, or you talking about how it helped you clean up your childhood traumas, inspired me to start my own journey of self-healing and self-love. The words thank you, don't feel big enough to encapsulate the gratitude I'd like to express, but this will have to do. This was actually from one of the employees at the Hoffman process who's come across my videos. I am honored and I wanna say thank you, and what I wanna say is my pleasure. This book is a game changer, folks, and Weijin, this will change your life, so I highly recommend reading it. Thank you so much. All right, let's see what else we have. All right. And Michael says, Weijin, no, no, no, don't think like that, you're already good enough. Yes, I thank you, Michael, for expressing that to her. I appreciate that. All right. If you have a question, either purchase a super sticker or a super chat or post the word question. Donna writes, question, 20 years of no dating and now Mr. Wonderful comes along. He says he sees a future for us. Yikes, should I be running or relaxed and enjoy the ride? I'm 60, he's 71. Okay, I wanna tell you a quick story, Donna. This is a picture of the CD version of the book, A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Marianne Williamson is a very famous personal development speaker out in the world and one of the things she does in her seminars when she's out in public, she talks about chemistry and she talks about when two people have strong chemistry from one another and she goes out to the audience and says, folks, when she goes, she asks the audience, what do you do when you have strong chemistry for one another and the audience is silent for a second and then you hear everybody yell at the same time, pray. What I mean to say is first thing you wanna do is pray for guidance, pray for love, pray for, not for a successful outcome because the problem is most people are praying for a successful outcome instead of enjoying the ride, enjoying the experience, instead of actually leaning into what is this experience all about? What is this journey all about? Because that's what happens when we connect with human beings, it's just an experience or journey.  They've created these ridiculous expectations instead of enjoying the ride because ultimately, I have a thought, folks. I'm fascinated, and by the way, I'm a dating a relationship coach, I mostly work with women who are single and looking for love. If you're single and looking for love, check out a link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. That's my area of expertise to help you attract the right guy by teaching you how to vet for emotional maturity and my coaching program. We have this great emotional aptitude test to really determine is he really the right guy or is he the wrong guy? And wouldn't you like to know this before you even go out on a date by learning all this stuff over a phone call? I can help you with that. Check out the link to a free discovery call. But let me tell you what's fascinating to me, folks. And tell me if you agree with this or not.  He's pulled away, he's gone, he's ghosted, he's asked for space, all these things. And the women are lamenting as if the sky has fallen because if this man doesn't love you, doesn't love me, I have no self-worth. Sadly, here in the United States we are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself. But ladies, if you genuinely love the guy and he says I wanna move on, real love, real love says, I wish you well and I hope you find the love of your dreams if that's what you want. That's what love would do. But selfishness within ourselves saying, I need you, I need you to love me, I need you to love me, I need you to love me, that's selfish behavior when you need someone to love you so you can feel good about yourself. Folks, I'm here to say you do not need a man, you do not need a woman to love you for you to feel good about yourself. That's not to say that we don't need companionship, connection, sex and potentially partnership with someone. I'm a big proponent of that, but you don't need it for your happiness. If you genuinely love the man and he wants to move on, real love says, I wish you well. But sadly, we are here complaining about men. By the way, I coach women, so I'm only talking from that perspective, but men and women are like, complain, complain, complain about the opposite sex. He was controlling, he was a narcissist, he was selfish, he was dysfunctional, all this stuff. Why not look at your own behavior and say why did you wanna be with a guy who wore all these things and then throw him into the bus when you're not getting what you want anyway? I just invite you all to look at that, y'all. Am I from the South? All right, thank you for your question, Don. I appreciate it. Yvonne says, I'm leaning back, Jonathan, for my glass of wine and I'm leaning back to my swear little cup, you'll feel better. All right, let's see what else we have. Yvonne, thank you for that. All right, Jenny says, I like your yelling. Thank you so much, I appreciate that. Hello, Jonathan. To sit in your feminine energy is right, that wearing dress is part of being feminine to attract masculine men, okay. Dressing nice might be, if we wanna look at that, it's not feminine energy, that's femininity, okay? Let's differentiate between masculinity and femininity. It's not, when you're in your, okay, feminine, okay, a female human being and a male human being. When a man is in his masculinity, it's basically seen as strong, virile, confident, that's masculinity. Femininity is soft, it's engaging, that's femininity. But I wanna differentiate between feminine energy and masculine energy because feminine energy is basically receiving and masculine energy is giving. And a healthy human being has a combination of both giving and receiving because a healthy relationship is with two givers and two receivers, okay? Like it's really one person, both people, both people, this is a human being right here. They can give and receive and they can give and receive.  The men are the givers, the women are the receivers.   Yes, yes you do. Well, that means he has to be in his feminine energy and a healthy relationship, a healthy human being has a combination of both.  The book, The Rules, set all you folks up for failure over and over again because it's a manipulative game playing game against men and women. It's just game playing against men and women using terms like that masculine and feminine as if that's going to be relationship success.  Rich, how do you spell, how do you say that? Rico, this is what I highly recommend reading instead of using this narrative about, but that's a bit going back to your question about femininity, I'm a big proponent.  In fact, folks, I actually, I want to show you a diagram I created. Let me see if you can see this. This is an iceberg, okay? This is an iceberg. Is iceberg one word or two words? Hey, hey, Google, is iceberg one word or two words? In dictionary, word forms, icebergs. Okay, so I wrote two words there, but it's one word. Okay, so I want you to see this. Right up top, you see that? That's chemistry, that's up top. It's the first thing we see, okay, is chemistry. What's below the surface is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. That's the bulk of a relationship. That's the compatibility piece. This is the attraction piece. Attraction is the smallest piece of the puzzle, but it's the first thing we see.  If they don't share the same values, if their lifestyles aren't blendable, and God forbid they're not emotionally mature, either one of them, your relationship is fucked.  You're screwed. So folks, look at that, look at that. The most important pieces are shared values, emotional maturity, and blendable lifestyles. And if you're not asking good questions right from the beginning, you're screwed. So this whole feminine energy movement, yeah, it gets you this much of the relationship, but you better have this going or you're screwed. I'm yelling. Okay, does this make sense? Please let me know, hit that thumbs up button. All right. Mystic says, I feel like I'm too open because if something bothers me, trust that I will confront it. If I like someone, I tell them, it feels like a lot of people don't like it in general. Okay. So I like the word, instead of confronting it, I like addressing it, but here's my feeling about addressing some, if you, okay, here's the problem with addressing how you feel because one of the things human beings do is what I call toxic advice. And what I mean to say is they don't invite curiosity, they actually just tell how they feel instead of starting with a simple narrative. Hey, there's something I'd like to share with you, is that okay? There's something about our relationship I'd like to share with you, is that okay? Oftentimes people confront the other person of what's wrong with them instead of expressing how they feel about themselves. So Mystic, I'm not suggesting what you're doing is that way, but what I've observed with human beings, they oftentimes confront people instead of actually addressing what's coming up for them in a healthy way, speak your truth, do it in a kind way. And that actually is a big turnoff in relationship. And I consider that toxicity. What I mean by toxicity is, you know what, unless you're having a dialogue with someone, I think it's absolutely okay to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent. Just do it with permission. That's all, just do it with permission by inviting a conversation instead of vomiting how you feel. And sadly, I noticed a lot of women just vomit their feelings and it's all over the map.  We have no sense of what you're saying because you're vomiting your feelings instead of actually expressing yourself from a confident, self-assured, self-aware place. Now, I'm not suggesting this of you, Mystic, but that's just something I've observed and I just wanted to draw attention to it. So thank you so much for sharing that. Okay, Melinda says, hello, Jonathan. My last boyfriend loved to admire my strengths until we lived together. Then he flipped and kept saying, I need to be submissive. What the what? Why would he, and he now, and he now, and now, and ex? Okay, so look it. Human beings are riddled with flaws, okay? Riddled with insecurities, riddled with inconsistencies. It's very human. It's very human for people to be inconsistent when they've done little or no personal development work. They show up rather inconsistent in relationships. So I'm not surprised that he might appreciated your strengths. The fact he wanted something submissive because he was really a covert control freak, he was attracted to you in the beginning, but he was actually a covert control freak if he wanted you to be submissive later. How do we identify that? Do me a favor, check out a link to a free discovery call with me in my private coaching for those women single and ready to search for a relationship. I teach you how to vet for emotional maturity or at least do a better job than most people because what's the definition of insanity? Doing the same things over and over again expecting different results. And I see women do this habitually. So there's not much you can do from that. And he's an ex and say, thank yourself for the experience and go, what did I learn about my? Here's my invitation for you, okay? Melanie, ask yourself, what positive things did I learn about myself in this experience? What positive things did I learn about myself in this experience? Does that help? I hope so. All right, Ouija writes, what's the difference between feminine energy versus female energy in your dictionary? Okay, again, going back to what I said, feminine energy is receiving, masculine energy is doing. Femininity is soft, masculinity is strong. That's it. That's as simple as it comes, folks, but be careful of this whole narrative because the feminine energy actually creates what I call princess energy, which also creates submissive energy. And let me tell you something, submissive energy will always backfire in a relationship. It temporarily works in the beginning, but it always backfires in the long run. At least that's my perspective anyway. Vanessa writes, love, love, love, watching you, best advice ever. Thank you, Vanessa, I hope I pronounced your name right. Please forgive me if I didn't. Everyone lean back, amen. Oh, someone just wrote, I just got the book, Radical Awakening by Dr. Shafila. I butchered his name. Her work is interesting, it's spiritual. Good to know, thank you. Paula says, I'm not sure I need balls, but I do have big ovaries, baby. Yeah, Paula, way to go. Jenny says, I lean back when I have no interest in a man, amen. All right, bear with me everyone. Oh, I wanna say, Kay, thank you for the super sticker. I really appreciate that, thank you so much. All right, we have a couple, if you have a question, post the word question. All right, Chrissy, Chrissy, Chrissy. Oh, if I butchered your name, I apologize. Question, I'm a politician and so is my man. We both could be crustal, vixen, wait, and crush, wait, I don't know what that word, crush on each other in debate, but we choose not to. Is it possible that one can avoid appearing intimidating? Again, folks, the word intimidating, instead of saying the word intimidating, let's get to the root of what intimidation is. Fear, what fear could the other person be feeling by your actions or by who you are or your status? What fear could they be feeling? So I do know that when I debate someone better than me, I do feel inferior. That's what I feel inferior. And I'm less likely to debate someone who is better at debating than me, but quite frankly, I don't like debating. I'm tired of debating, I'm tired of debating. I'm all in favor of expressing opinions. A healthy way to express your opinion with someone looks like this. The person listens to my point of view. They accept my point of view as being true for them. Then I listen to their point of view. I accept their point of view as being true for them. If our points of view differ, that's okay, but I don't like to debate why my point of view might be right because that's egoic, selfish, narcissistic behavior.  Because here's the thing, two people can have opposing points of view. It's not about being right. And in relationship in particular, it's definitely not about being right. It's about being happy. So I'm a big proponent of not debating things, especially from a place of I'm right and you're wrong because the minute you do that, that's unhealthy communication. Now, if you express your point of view and the person goes, oh, that's interesting. I didn't see it that way. Then they have an opportunity to shift their point of view. But if they don't shift their point of view, let it go folks, it's not debate.  I don't mean you personally, but I can't stand politics because quite frankly, I think most politicians care about themselves and don't actually care about the people they represent and you know why? Anyways, I'm going into politics and I shouldn't go there. That's just how I feel. I can't stand politics. You know, when a politician is lying, when they open their mouth, that's how I feel. Please forgive me. I apologize. This isn't related to you. That's just how I feel about Washington DC. All right, only Washington, everything else I'm cool with. All right, thank you. I appreciate that question. Um, all right, bear with me. Jacqueline, question. What is the best way to discuss taking the relationship to the next level? I've been taking things slow and have, and have, I've been taking things slow and have to have a solid foundation. Now we need to move to gain deeper intimacy. All right, I love this question. I want to tell you a backstory on this question. So a couple of years ago, I got a call from a woman coach, she wanted a coaching session with me and she's telling me about her relationship. And she says, Jonathan, I want more commitment from my guy. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? Well, Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him. I'm like, great, what does that look like for you? But Jonathan, I just want more commitment from him.   What does that look like for you? What does the next level look like? Is it moving in together? Is it getting married? Is it buying property? Is it going on vacation together? What is the next level for you? And you simply do this. Speak your truth, do it with kindness. Chapter one of my book, you simply say, hey, this is where I'm at in this relationship and I'd like to move to this level and this is what it looks like. How do you feel about that? You start a conversation. It's as simple as that. But Jonathan, it might scare him away.  I'm being dramatic because ladies, here's the thing. If you're having regular sex with a guy, you have every right to ask for what you want in relationship, I just wanna stretch. You have every right to ask for what you want in relationship, so why are you afraid? I'm not suggesting you, but why are you ladies so afraid that you're gonna scare a guy away? You only scare the wrong man away when you ask something sincere and from your heart. Let me repeat that. You only scare the wrong guy away when you ask for something sincere and from the heart.  That's my invitation for you. Stop being afraid. But first off, find out what that next level actually looks like for you. By the way, I see my hair is kind of, well, anyway, nothing I can do about it. Oh God, that's bugging me now. Do you guys see that? All right. All right, next question. Michael, am I boring you? Melissa says, amen. Sarie says, I'm butchering your name. Question, told my boyfriend of six months I loved him. He didn't say it back, but we have discussed since and said he feels strongly for me, but it'll take a lot to say it. What's the next step? I need to hear it. So to me, for many men, the words I love you feels like a promise of some future commitment. I'm gonna repeat that. The words I love you feels like a promise to some future commitment. And when a person can't commit to the future, they're reluctant to say the words I love you. Now, when I say the words I love you, this is what it means to me. Okay, when I say, when two people say I love you to each other, this is what it means to me. I'm here. You matter. We are important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere and I only want you. So let me repeat that. I'm here. That means I'm present to this relationship. You matter. That means you matter to me. I care about you. You matter. We are important. That means the relationship is a separate entity and I value the separate entity. I've got your back. That means we're part of a team. I'm here to help you. You need me to pick you up from the airport. I've got your back, honey. I'm gonna be there. Number five, wait. I'm here. You matter. We're important. I've got your back. I'm not going anywhere. That means I'm committed to this relationship. And lastly, I only want you. Now, what's probably missing for this guy is the last two pieces. He's not sure he might not leave you and he doesn't know if you're the one.   You're not exploring a relationship together. I've got to tell you something. The minute two people decide they want to have sex together, that's the time to have a real serious conversation. Are we exploring a relationship together?  I got to tell you something. I got an email the other day from a woman. I got an email the other day from a woman. She said, Jonathan, thank you so much. I bought two copies of the book, eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman, link below to Jonathan recommends books. She said, I gave it to the guy. We just started dating where we were, I think she was in, they just were prior to sex, but they were in the fourth or fifth date and they're starting to do the work from the book. Now I've had multiple emails. Now one story I heard from a woman, she said the minute he read chapter one, he ghosted me. Wow.  And the other woman said, the guy loved the book. He was like, oh my God, why didn't someone tell me about this before?  Men are thirsty, actual real men. I was going to use the word real men. Emotionally mature men are thirsty for knowledge and ladies, all you have to simply do is spend 15 bucks or 30 bucks on two copies of a book to change your life. Are you willing? By the way, is everybody willing to invest $30 to change your life? If you are, buy a super sticker right now and give me 30 bucks. $30 can change your life, your love life in a positive way. Can you make an investment in yourself? Would you be willing to do that? If you say yes, please hit that thumbs up button. By the way, my hip is feeling a little, ah, anyway. All right, we're going to take one more question before we wrap up today. Siri, thank you for that one. Ah, all right. Michael says, amen. Robin says, amen. Hoffra says, me too, yay. I'm butchering names, by the way. All right. Donna says, I think some women think sex will pave the way to a relationship or hope it will. Asking where the relationship is going opens women up to rejection that they may not be prepared for. Yeah, that's true. Folks, children, male children think they're rich. They think that sex might open their heart up to love. And let's face it, sex is part of the decision-making process. It is part of the decision-making process.  By the way, my hair is really, that spot in my hair is bugging me. I want you guys to vet each other by asking better questions before you have sex. Because by the way, I'm not a big fan of the site eHarmony, but eHarmony said, when you take compatibility and spark it with chemistry, watch out. You have the makings for a great relationship. Ladies, right here, the iceberg, which is one word, not two words. Shared values, blendable lifestyles, emotional maturity. When you take that with chemistry, which is attraction up here, you have a greater chance for success. Asking where this relationship going isn't the right question. The real question is, do you want to explore a fully committed relationship with me? Wait, Jonathan, what? Yeah, do you want to explore a fully committed relationship with me? That's the question you want to ask, not where is it going? Because the minute you say where is it going, you're giving your power away to a man. Don't ever give your power to a man. It's not his job to decide where it's going.  Is this sinking in because I swear to God, I'm blown away by how few of you really get this ship? I highly recommend reading the book, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff, Spiritual Partnership by Gary Zukoff. This will change your life. Ah, all right. I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Listen, I've got a webinar to do tonight, so I'm gonna be wrapping up a little bit early. Yes, there is an audio book of many of these books, so I am the prize, thank you for asking. Melissa says, exactly thank you, Jonathan. Lexi says, perfect way to answer, thank you. If this is resonating with you, hit that thumbs up button, hit that like button, let me know if this is sinking in, please let me know. All right, let's see. You know what, I think this is a good place to wrap up today. Folks, I wanna thank you from the bottom. Oh, we have one last one from Woojin. We've got $30, way to go. She gets it. I see the value of all the books I purchased and read and all the joys and education, connecting and the love here, $30. I'm not hesitant to give specifically to salty scholarship. Oh my God, that just, oh my God, my heart just is, oh, thank you, Woojin, thank you so much. That really is very sweet of you, thank you. It's just to illustrate a point, folks. Invest in yourself and you have a greater chance of finding what you truly want in this life and that is love and love starts from within. And whether you find a mate or not, the most important relationship you're ever gonna have is the relationship with yourself and my invitation for everybody is to love on themselves so much that you don't have to worry about whether or not a man is loving you because you're loving on yourself. Can I get an amen to that? And Vanita, thank you so much for that $4.99. I really appreciate it. Robin says, way to go, Woojin, thank you. Kay says, thank you for cracking our heads or asking ourselves if he or she is the right candidate for a committed relationship before having sex. Way to go, yes, thank you so much. Jennifer says, or Jacqueline says, amen, thank you. Faith says, you're an amazing gift. I am in, thank you all so much. I think it's time to wrap up today. So, hold on one second. All right, I'm gonna wrap up my videos as I always do first off, giving myself a big, gigantic shot to bear a hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thank you so much for joining me today and I wanna wish you a super-duper, wonderful, fantastic day. Thanks so much, bye-bye now. Angela says hugs, Jenny says hugs. Make them wait. And Maria says amen, amen, amen. All right folks, thanks a bunch, bye now.


The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert read for Librebox.org by Bethany on the 1st of May, 2020. A magnet hung in a hardware shop and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for iron the magnet felt no whim, though he charmed iron it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can riddle a knife or needle, I not a silver churn. An iron and steel expressed surprise, the needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pin knives felt shut up, no doubt the scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettle they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, parapetetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavor can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert. Read for LibriVox.org by LGPug. A magnet hung in a hardware shop and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for iron the magnet felt no whim, though he charmed iron, he charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can riddle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic lover he lived to learn by no endeavour can magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert. Read for LibriVox.org by Andrew Bedford on 29 April 2020 in Yorkshire in the United Kingdom. A magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed iron it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While dyspagnetic, peripatetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour could Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibriVox.org by Bruce Gachok A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron, the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can wedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The needles they voiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibriVonx.org by Craig Franklin A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a lovely crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can wedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they voiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour, can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibriVonx.org by Chad Horner From Ballyclair in County Hunter, Northern Ireland Situated in the northeast of the island of Ireland A Magnet hung in a warehouse shop, and all around was a lovin' crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt, shut up, no doubt, the scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, tis said, while every nail went off its head and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour could Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by David Lawrence. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd churn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this churn. If I can wheedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt, shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, tis said. While every nail went off its head and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W.S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by Dominique van der Voerlen. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop. Off scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can wedle a knife or a needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt, shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage this had, while every nail went off its head. And hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic, parapetetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by Emily. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? An Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt, shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage this had, while every nail went off its head. And hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home, while this Magnetic, parapetetic lover he lived to learn by no endeavour can a Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by Newgate Novelist. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head. And hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic peripatetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by Florence Short. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he'd charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turned, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can wheedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic, parapatetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can a Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert, read for LibriVox.org by Garth Burton. A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he'd charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic, parapatetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert. Read for LibriVox.org by Graham Scott Cheltenham, England. GrahamScottAudio.com A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pen-knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic peripatetic lover he lived to learn by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibriVox.org by Leanne Howlett A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can weedle, a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pin-knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic, parapetetic, lover he lived to learn by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. In Dev Poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very Magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can wheedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron is still expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pin-knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this Magnetic peripatetic lover he lived to learn by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. In Dev Poem this recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibraryVokes.org by MaxD A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic, fancy took his turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes. The pin knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and tither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, parapetetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavor can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibraryVokes.org by Patrick Wallace A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crock of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no wind, though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he'd set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife for needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, peripatetic lover he lived to learn by no endeavour, can Magnet ever attract a silver churn? End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Read for LibraryVokes.org by Phil Shempf A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crock of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic, fancy took this turn. If I can wheedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic, parapetetic lover he'd lived to learn, by no endeavor can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Red for LibriVox to R. G. by Samuel A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving home of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic, fancy took his churn. If I can needle a knife on a needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and steel expressed surprise. When needles opened their welshel dyes, the pen knives felt shut up, no doubt. The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam, till a hammer came up and drew it home. While this magnetic, very pathetic, lover he lived to learn, by no endeavor can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain. The Magnet and the Churn by W. S. Gilbert Red for LibriVox.org by Thomas Dorrington Hardeen A Magnet hung in a hardware shop, and all around was a loving crop of scissors and needles, nails and knives, offering love for all their lives. But for Iron the Magnet felt no whim. Though he charmed Iron, it charmed not him. From needles and nails and knives he'd turn, for he set his love on a silver churn. His most aesthetic, very magnetic fancy took this turn. If I can weedle a knife or needle, why not a silver churn? And Iron and Steel expressed surprise. The needles opened their well-drilled eyes.  The scissors declared themselves cut out. The kettles they boiled with rage, Tiz said, while every nail went off its head, and hither and thither began to roam till a hammer came up and drove it home. While this magnetic peripatetic lover he lived to learn, by no endeavour can Magnet ever attract a silver churn. End of poem. This recording is in the public domain.


So the principle of an aniscopic skull base is why to use why user aniscope is that you just can cover it with angled optics or zero-degree optics different areas of midline of the skull base that means not only the cellar region but you can always also go to the clivus or cranial or a cervical junction you can go to their cranial base and but we are focusing really on the cellar region because it's a good advice that really if you start an aniscopy you do it on straightforward cases like pituitary like perhaps and well circumscribed CSF fistula and you can mentally stage your surgery in three stages that is the nasal stage so try to get access to the anterior face of the finished sinus the finished stage where you deal with all these anatomic variations that means intrasphenoidal septi and there may be an intracellular or intradural stage but it all depends on these two stages that you're doing a good job on that. Again it's all about repetition so this is the region we're dealing about it and there are some landmarks you really have to memorize it's really that you just see that there's the medial surface which is just quite flat but you have always a kind of septum deviations so there's a big variety and that you really say okay I have the inferior turbinate the middle and the superior and the anterior wall of the finished sinus and these are the structures which you have to memorize and try to identify during surgery because it's just an unusual and if you start with the anoscope and this is just the bony view it seems to be quite simple because the number of structures are not that big but during surgery it's all mucosa covered this is a view into the maxillary sinus here's the crest on the the bony part of the nasal septum this is the vomere and these are the openings of the sinusinus during surgery of course the view is different because everything is mucosa covered and you might have tried traces of blood on your anoscopic optics and so this only the the bony substrate of your surgery and what you have to think of is that there the optic you use in anoscopy it's not microscopy microscopy is perfect in terms of geometry or it's a real image while with anoscopic surgery you have a kind of fish eye optics so it's a kind of distortion you get a quiet or a good adapted to it but you have to remember that the image is distorted it's not real image and it's good to have a certain method if you start anoscopic and a nasal surgery it's always about orientation yeah because there's some varieties it's good to to have a look at this preoperative CT scans to get clear about the individual patient anatomy and the first step is always to orientate from the flaw of the nasal cavity and to identify all the structures because it you will be surprised what you see if you stick in an anoscope you get lost because we don't use in general we don't use x-ray even navigation it's not of big use in that stage of the surgery look at the flaw of nasal cavity yes it sounds simple but it's a good advice then identify medial and lateral the inferior terminate then and the middle terminate and you see it's you don't have there in the sphenial you make you have a panoramic view but in the nose itself it's quite limited and if you go along the flaw of the nasal cavity that's the first stage of the surgery always go really quite at the base then you enter this region and in general it's quite easy possible without moving a lot the inferior terminate you see the nasal septum you see the quenna you see the nasopharynx and the tubal evaporation yeah and this is the first step of orientation and if you now have this the first step then you can go upwards from the quenna and it's about 1.5 centimeters above you may see the ostium of the sphenous sinus or you may see it not in most of the cases it's hardly visible without mobilization of the superior terminate but for example with suction you may feel a loss of resistance yeah if you tap against it and what's also very important is that there's an ostium of the sphenoid it's not in the middle or lower part of the sphenous sinus it's in the upper part so if you're happy to to find it yeah success first stage then don't go upwards but your direction of dissection should be downwards to visualize the flaw of the sphenous sinus that's quite important yeah not to do like this cluck cluck cluck cluck cluck and you end far too up in the ethnic cells you remember of course the mucosa itself may bleed yeah that may be sometimes a problem with the endoscopic optics but you have this sphenopalatine artery which it's origin just behind the superior terminate about here and which gives its branches up to the same nasus septum and which crosses your line of dissection and then it's you may sacrifice yeah it's possible but if you plan that's not the beginning but if you plan to raise a so-called nasus septum flap if you create a larger CSF fistula or you have to reconstruct the skull base it's not allowed to sacrifice this branch of the sphenopalatine artery but you have to memorize that you need a vascularized particle flap and you have to mobilize the mucosa with the artery inside so this is one beautiful picture from the Rotom collection just to give you the perspective at the coronal view of the entrance in the sphenocyanus and again this is the view we know from the inside of the skull and this view we also where we really see if we remove the entry of surface of the sphenopone we already have this nice view with endoscopy yeah it's not something exceptional you may see and this is not about doing surgery on these structures it's just to remember what if pathology extends more lateral or more superior to the pituitary gland when is there a risk for injury to the ath to the carotid artery or to the cranial nerves and you see if we respect the borders of the cavernous sinus and it's really impossible to do a major damage to the cranial nerves but as soon as you have invasive tumor and you're dissecting blind for example with a curret they may be in structures as risk especially the ocular motor nerve once again this is the panoramic view with a zero-degree optic if you have removed the surface of the ventral surface of the sphenocyanus and this is cadaver section from fresh frozen cadaver we just see what is behind all these bony structures so in general we only deal with this region yeah of course this is not a pathologic cellar so there's no tumor behind it it's quite flat but it's always important to verify your orientation that you identify this a cellar that you have the clival recess yeah you don't really visualize that if you have a microscope that you have the carotid prominence and that's so important was more it said is it may be really even very thin bone covered yeah and that makes pituitary surgery may lead to to lethal consequences if you just stick in your endoscope you see much more you try to work on all these structures it's really easily with a drill you're slipping or stuff like that that you may put the carotid at risk and you may imagine that this it's very difficult to control and even the optic nerve may be very thin from bony coverage and it's just good even if you only do pituitary surgery when you start endoscopy that you just with every case try to identify is the reason why it's so difficult is I don't know if you have our standard your navigation with every case we only have one machine and sometimes it's reserved for spine surgery and we don't use x-ray if you don't identify the structures yeah you may be really misled by the asymmetric intrasphenodal septi to complete a different trajectory because you're coming from one side perhaps you don't find the midline exactly and we saw cases where inexperienced people identified for example this region as seller and stopped surgery because of some bleeding and without getting some histology yeah it's possible it sounds so but if you have an endoscope at the beginning it's so unusual to use it you have some bleeding you are a bit stressed and really if you work on a very strict method just to identify your structures to know the individual patient anatomy with all the septi deviation and stuff like that and that makes you able to make a good job even if you're not an advanced endoscopist in general these are the structures what you call the medial optical kerotic a recess and the the lateral this is leading to the optic strut and which is part of the anterior climate process just an escopic picture yeah you see with a zero-degree optic this is the the seller with the this is kerotic prominence you see even in a specimen we made some damage when stripping off the mucosa to the bony surface of the correct prominence this is a also very large lateral critical optic recess and this is the the clival clival recess seller and it's just good to make a preoperative CT scan even if you have an excellent MRI a substrate for your surgery just to identify what regions are parameterized what regions how their intracranial septum is going to in general one side and even in general to one kerotic artery thank you


My name is Kaye Felix and I will come you to Kaye Felix Inspire. Always remember if you're coming here for the first time please don't forget to subscribe. Hit the bell icon so that you get notified whenever I post new videos. Please do stay tuned for more details in this video. We believe in courage. We believe that without courage there's nothing you can achieve. It doesn't matter what vision, what dreams you have, you need to have courage. So we are courageous, we are not intimidated by anybody whatsoever. Whether the source of possible intimidation is our political opponents in the opposition or the government of the day and it doesn't matter whether that government of the day is the patriotic front which left or the new government which is the UPND administration. We are not intimidated and we shall never be intimidated. So if there's anybody out there who has any ideas to say we are going to intimidate the patriots for economic progress in general or we are going to intimidate Shuntembo they should forget about it. Yes. All right well a bunch of incompetent people is what you call them but of course the minister of youth sport and arts of course according to the daily nation paper today has warned you Mr Shuntembo do not take the freedom of expression for granted. What is your reaction to that? Before we get into the reaction of the presidential radio engagement and interaction that happened with what's your reaction to? You know Shisha there is this misconception by the UPND administration that people of Zambia exercise their freedom of expression, freedom of association, freedom of assembly because the UPND government is actually giving them those freedoms and I want to say this I'll say it once that is absolute nonsense total nonsense. The freedom of expression freedom of association freedom of assembly that we enjoy as citizens in this country is something that is given to us by the constitution of the republic of Zambia you understand by the constitution of the republic of Zambia. The narrative which president Ichilema and his ministers have been driving that the reason we speak the way we are speaking right here is because he has given us these freedoms is total nonsense absolute nonsense and I want to make it clear I want to make it clear Shisha that we do not need to get any permission and we do not need to receive any permission from the current government for us to be able to express ourselves we don't and we shall never and if they think that we express ourselves because they allow us then they should disallow us tell them to withdraw their permission for us to exercise our freedoms tell them to withdraw it right here and right now tell them to send the police to come and arrest me because I'm speaking about their government I'm explaining to the people of Zambia how incompetent their government is tell them to withdraw that freedom if they feel they are the ones who actually give it to us yeah so I do know for a fact that yesterday is back by law but would you enjoy the same freedoms in the previous vision we've been speaking since time immemorial if the pf during the pf regime when the pf tried to stop us by sending the police we took the police to court and we won the cases so if the upnd administration wants to stop us they can send their police and will sue their police also and will win in court and I want to tell the president right here and right now I want to tell president Ichilema if he thinks he is giving us he is the one giving us the freedom of expression that we are enjoying right here and right now let him withdraw that freedom of expression right now let him send his policemen to come and arrest me and I want him to do it tonight let him withdraw we don't need his permission we don't want him to give us any permission to express ourselves since he thinks he is the one who gives us that permission we don't need that permission all right let's let's let's go to the assessment of the radio engagement that the president did have on Wednesday uh you know on the 13th of October 2021 he did have a radio engagement at statehouse on a particular radio station what's your assessment as patroads for economic progress and as shuntembo the president that's leading that political party well for us in particular situation we find it extremely regrettable that the president is spending a lot of time talking and very little time you know making his talk reality realizing the promises that he made so far he's been in office for some time and he hasn't realized a single promise that he made not a single one of them he's always talking when he was in the opposition like any opposition leader he was always in the media he was always making promises uh all sorts of promises no one ever compared him to make those promises it was him and him alone who was saying that when he sown in in the morning in the afternoon the dora who appreciate it is him and him alone who was saying if he's voted into office in the morning in the afternoon you sell the presidential budget and use that money to pay new allowances for students you understand it is him no one put a gun to his head no one did that it was him out of his own volition it was him and him alone who told the farmers the zamdan farmers that the moment he is actually elected into office he is going to buy their maize at 250 kwacha it is him not anyone else not shuntembo no i didn't compare hh to make those promises so today when we wake up and we tell the zamdan people to say this man the promises he made to you he's not fulfilling them he's running away from them each one of those promises then why should he come to us and tell us that you are abusing the freedom of expression which hh is giving us hh doesn't have any freedom of expression to give to any zamdan he doesn't have any freedom of expression we've moved from the freedom of expression we're looking at the assessment so so so on that particular on that particular speech uh you know at the end of the any president will learn their presidency in the manner and fashion that they see fit so it's not for me really to tell hh to say look uh you need to spend so much time in office with your cabinet ministers so that when you go out there you you are not speaking different languages whereby one is saying kata as i encourage you you are saying no others are saying roadblocks are cancelled you you are saying they need to be brought back spend more time with your cabinet agree on the police of government so that when you go out there if a minister makes a ministerial statement it should be based on the discussions they had in cabinet you understand it's not for me to tell him that he needs to be able to figure it out but me as an opposition leader it's my job to hold him accountable on the fulfillment of his promises you understand and uh our point is that he's spending more time making additional promises instead of him actually fulfilling the promises that he has already made to the Zambian people take for instance what he was talking about on radio phoenix a few days ago the president was talking about how wonderful his 2022 national budget is going to be and he's been talking about that for a long time he started with that narrative and then uh at some point his minister said no the 2022 budget will be a pf budget with a few adjustments from the upnd you understand that shows inconsistence then again the president comes and says no the 22 budget will be our budget uh and when we implement the new budget then we'll begin to fulfill the promises we made to the Zambian people so there is chaos there's confusion uh uh in the upnd administration you understand and uh you know if i make a statement to say this government is a bunch of incompetence i make that statement with a free conscious because the evidence is there for all to see provided you are not someone who is indoctrinated you've got objectivity and an independent mind you can see that this government is totally you know uh it's got no direction it's not going anywhere it's not going to take the people of this country anywhere