Book 4. What Life Is. Chapter 3. Towards Hotel Life. Part 1. One. Sophia wore list-slippers in the morning. It was a hammit which she had formed in the Rue Lord Baron, by accident rather than with an intention to utilize list-slippers for the effective supervision of servants. These list-slippers were the immediate cause of important happenings in St. Luke's Square. Sophia had been with Constance one calendar month. It was, of course, astonishing how quickly the time had passed, and she had become familiar with the house. Restraint had gradually ceased to mark the relations of the sisters. Constance in particular hid nothing from Sophia, who was made aware of the minor and major defects of Amy and all the other creakings of the household machine. Meals were eaten off the ordinary tablecloths, and on the days for turning out the parlor, Constance assumed, with a little laugh, that Sophia would excuse Amy's apron which she had not had time to change. In brief, Sophia was no longer a stranger, and nobody felt bound to pretend that things were not exactly what they were. In spite of the foulness and the provinciality of Bursley, Sophia enjoyed the intimacy with Constance. As for Constance, she was enchanted. The inflections of their voices, when they were talking to each other very privately, were often tender, and these sudden surprising tendernesses secretly thrilled both of them. On the fourth Sunday morning Sophia put on her dressing-gown and those list-slippers very early, and paid a visit to Constance's bedroom. She was somewhat concerned about Constance, and her concern was pleasurable to her. She made the most of it. Amy, with her lifelong carelessness about doors, had criminally failed to latch the street-door of the parlor on the previous morning, and Constance had only perceived the omission by the phenomenon of fragility in her legs at breakfast. She always sat with her back to the door, in her mother's fluted rocking-chair, and Sophia on the spot, but not in the chair, occupied by John Baines in the forties, and in the seventies and later by Samuel Povey. Constance had been alarmed by that fragility. I shall have a return of my sciatica, she had exclaimed, and Sophia was startled by the apprehension in her tone. Before evening the sciatica had indeed revisited Constance's sciatic nerve, and Sophia, for the first time, gained an idea of what a pulsating sciatica can do in the way of torturing its victim. Constance, in addition to the sciatica, had caught a sneezing cold, and the act of sneezing caused her the most acute pain. Sophia had soon stopped sneezing. Constance was got to bed. Sophia wished to summon the doctor, but Constance assured her the doctor would have nothing new to advise. Constance suffered angelically. The weak and exquisite sweetness of her smile, as she lay in bed under the stress of twinging pain amid hot water-bottles, was amazing to Sophia. It made her think upon the reserves of Constance's character, and upon the variety of the manifestations of the bane's blood. So on the Sunday morning she had arisen early, just after Amy. She discovered Constance to be a little better, as regards the neuralgia, but exhausted by the torments of a sleepless night. Sophia, though she had herself not slept well, felt somehow conscious stricken for having slept at all. "'You poor dear,' she murmured, brimming with sympathy, "'I shall make you some tea at once, myself.' "'Oh, Amy will do it,' said Constance. Sophia repeated with a resolute intonation, "'I shall make it myself.' And after being satisfied that there was no instant need for a renewal of hot water-bottles, she went downstairs in those list-slippers. As she was descending the dark kitchen steps, she heard Amy's voice in pettish exclamation. "'I'll get out you,' followed by a yelp from Fosett. She had a swift movement of anger, which she controlled. The relations between her and Fosett were not marked by transports, and her rule over dogs in general was severe. Even when alone she very seldom kissed the animal passionately, according to the general habit of people owning dogs. But she loved Fosett, and moreover her love for Fosett had been lately sharpened by the ridicule which Bursley had showered upon that strange beast. Happily for Sophia's amour-approach there was no means of getting Fosett shaved in Bursley, and thus Fosett was daily growing less comic to the Bursley eye. Sophia could therefore, without loss of dignity, yield to the force of circumstances what she would not have yielded to popular opinion. She guessed that Amy had no liking for the dog, but the accent which Amy had put upon the U seemed to indicate that Amy was making distinctions between Fosett and Spott, and this disturbed Sophia much more than Fosett's yelp. Sophia coughed and entered the kitchen. Spott was lapping his morning milk out of a saucer, while Fosett stood wistfully and amorphous mass of thick hair under the table. Good morning, Amy," said Sophia, with dreadful politeness. Good morning, Mum," said Amy, glumly. Amy knew that Sophia had heard that yelp, and Sophia knew that she knew. The pretence of politeness was horrible. Both the women felt as though the kitchen was sanded with gunpowder and there were lighted matches about. Sophia had a very proper grievance against Amy on account of the open door of the previous day. Sophia thought that, after such a sin, the least Amy could do was to show contrition and amiability and an anxiety to please, which things Amy had not shown. Amy had a grievance against Sophia, because Sophia had recently thrust upon her a fresh method of cooking green vegetables. Amy was a strong opponent of new or foreign methods. Sophia was not aware of this grievance, for Amy had hidden it under her customary, cringing politeness to Sophia. They surveyed each other like opposing armies. "'What a pity you have no gas stove here. I want to make some tea at once for Mrs. Povey,' said Sophia, inspecting the just-born fire. "'Gas stove, man,' said Amy, hostilely. It was Sophia's list-snippers which had finally decided Amy to drop the mask of deference. She made no effort to aid Sophia. She gave no indication of where the various necessaries for tea were to be found. Sophia got the kettle and washed it out. Sophia got the smallest teapot, and as the tea leaves had been left in it, she washed out the teapot also, with exaggerated noise and meticulousness. Sophia got the sugar and the other trifles, and Sophia blew up the fire with the bellows, and Amy did nothing in particular, except encourage spot to drink. "'Is that all the milk you gave to Fosette?' Sophia demanded coldly when it had come to Fosette's oven. She was waiting for the water to boil. The saucer for the bigger dog, who would have made two of spot, was not half full. "'It's all there is to spare, ma'am,' Amy rasped. Sophia made no reply. Soon afterwards she departed with the tea successfully made. If Amy had not been a mature woman of over forty, she would have snorted as Sophia went away. But Amy was scarcely the ordinary, silly girl. Say for a certain primness, as she offered the tray to her sister, Sophia's demeanour gave no sign whatever that the Amazon in her was aroused. Constance's eager trembling pleasure in the tea touched her deeply, and she was exceedingly thankful that Constance had her, Sophia, as a sucker in times of distress. A few minutes later, Constance, having first asked Sophia what time it was by the watch in the watch case on the chest of drawers, the Swiss clock had long since ceased to work, pulled the red tassel of the bell-cord over her head. A bell tinkled far away in the kitchen. "'Anything I can do,' Sophia inquired. "'Oh, no thanks,' said Constance. "'I only wanted my letters if the postman has come. He ought to have been here long ago.' Sophia had learnt during her stay that Sunday morning was the morning on which Constance expected a letter from Cyril. It was a definite arrangement between mother and son that Cyril should write on Saturdays and Constance on Sundays. Sophia knew that Constance set store by this letter, becoming more and more preoccupied about Cyril as the end of the week approached. Since Sophia's arrival, Cyril's letter had not failed to come, but once it had been nought-saved a scribbled line or two, and Sophia gathered that it was never a certainty and that Constance was accustomed, though not reconciled, to disappointments. Sophia had been allowed to read the letters.  There was no reply to the bell. Constance rang again without effect. With the brusque movement, Sophia left the bedroom by way of Cyril's room. "'Amy!' she called over the banisters. "'Do you not hear your mistress's bell?' "'I'm coming as quick as I can, mum!' the voice was still very glum." Sophia murmured something inarticulate, staying till assured that Amy really was coming, and then she passed back into Cyril's bedroom. She wainted there, hesitant, not exactly on the watch, not exactly unwilling to assist at an interview between Amy and Amy's mistress. Indeed, she could not have surely analysed her motive for remaining in Cyril's bedroom, with the door ajar between that room and Constance's. Amy reluctantly mounted the stairs and went into her mistress's bedroom with her chin in the air. She thought that Sophia had gone up to the second story where she belonged. She stood in silence by the bed, showing no sympathy with Constance, no curiosity as to the indisposition. She objected to Constance's attack of sciatica as being a too-permanent reproof of her carelessness as to doors. Constance also waited for the fraction of a second, as if expectant. "'Well, Amy,' she said, at length, in her voice, weakened by fatigue and pain, "'the letters?' "'There ain't no letters,' said Amy, grimly, "'you might have known if there had been any, or should have brought them up. Postman went past twenty minutes ago, I'm always being interrupted, and he tells me as if I hadn't gone enough to do. Now!' She turned to leave and was pulling the door open. "'Amy,' said a voice sharply, it was Sophia's. The servant jumped, and in spite of herself, obeyed the implicit, imperious command to stop. "'You will please not speak to your mistress in that tone. At any rate, while I'm here,' said Sophia, icily, "'you know she is ill and weak? You ought to be ashamed of yourself.' "'I'll never,' Amy began. "'I don't want to argue,' Sophia said angrily. "'Please leave the room.' Amy obeyed. She was cowed, in addition to being staggered. To the persons involved in it, this episode was intensely dramatic. Sophia had surmised that Constance permitted liberties of speech to Amy. She even guessed that Amy sometimes took license to be rude, but that the relations between them were such as to allow the bullying of Constance by an Amy downright insolent. This had shocked and wounded Sophia, who suddenly had a vision of Constance as the victim of a reign of terror. "'If the creature will do this while I'm here,' said Sophia to herself, what does she do when they are alone together in the house?' "'Well,' she exclaimed, I never heard of such goings on. "'And you let her talk to you in that style, my dear Constance!' Constance was sitting up in bed, the small tea-tree on her knees. Her eyes were moist. The tears had filled them when she knew that there was no letter. Ordinarily, the failure of Cyril's letter would not have made her cry, but weakness had impaired her self-control. And the tears, having once got into her eyes, she could not dismiss them. There they were. "'She's been with me such a long time,' Constance murmured. "'She takes liberties. I've corrected her once or twice.' "'Libberties!' Sophia repeated the word. "'Libberties!' "'Of course, I've really ought not to allow it,' said Constance. "'I ought to have put a stop to it long since.' "'Well,' said Sophia, rather relieved by this symptom of Constance's secret mind, "'I do hope you won't think I'm meddlesome, but truly it was too much for me. The words were out of my mouth before I—' She stopped. "'You were quite right, quite right,' said Constance, seeing before her in the Woman of Fifty the Passionate Girl of Fifteen. "'I've had a good deal of experience of servants,' said Sophia. "'I know you have,' Constance put in, and I'm convinced that it never pays to stand any source. Servants don't understand kindness and forbearance, and this sort of thing grows and grows till you can't call your soul your own. "'You're quite right,' Constance said again, with even more positiveness. Not merely the conviction that Sophia was quite right, but the desire to assure Sophia that Sophia was not meddlesome gave force to her utterance. Amy's allusion to extra work shamed Amy's mistress as a hostess, and she was bound to make amends. "'Now, as did that woman,' said Sophia in a lower voice, as she sat down confidentially on the edge of the bed. And she told Constance about Amy and the dogs, and about Amy's rudeness in the kitchen. "'I should never have dreamt of mentioning such things,' she finished, but under the circumstances I feel it right that you should know. I feel you ought to know.' And Constance nodded her head in thorough agreement. She did not trouble to go into articulate apologies to her guest for the actual misdeeds of her servant. The sisters were now on a plane of intimacy where such apologies would have been super-rogatory. Their voices fell lower and lower, and the case of Amy was laid bare and discussed to the minutest detail. Gradually they realized that what had occurred was a crisis. They were both very excited, apprehensive, and rather too consciously defiant. At the same time they were drawn very close to each other by Sophia's generous indignation and by Constance's absolute loyalty. A long time passed before Constance said, thinking about something else, "'I expect it's been delayed in the post.' Cyril's letter, oh, no doubt, if you knew the post in France, my word.' Then they determined, with little size, to face the crisis cheerfully. In truth it was a crisis and a great one. The sensation of the crisis affected the atmosphere of the entire house. Constance got up for tea and managed to walk to the drawing-room. And when Sophia, after an absence in her own room, came down to tea and found the tea all served, Constance whispered, "'She's given notice. And Sunday, too.' "'What did she say?' "'She didn't say much,' Constance replied vaguely, hiding from Sophia that Amy had hopped on the two great profusion of mistresses in that house. After all, it's just as well. She'll be all right. She's saved a good bit of money, and she has friends. But how foolish of her to give up such a good place! "'She simply doesn't care,' said Constance, who was a little hurt by Amy's defection. When she takes her thing into her head, she'd simply doesn't care. She's got no common sense. I've always known that.' "'So you're going to leave, Amy,' said Sophia that evening, as Amy was passing through the parlour on her way to bed. This was already arranged for the night. "'I am,' answered Amy, precisely. Her tone was not rude, but it was firm. She had apparently reconnoitred her position in calmness. "'I'm sorry I was obliged to correct you this morning,' said Sophia, with cheerful amicableness, pleased in spite of herself with the woman's tone, but I think you will see that I had reason to. "'I've been thinking it over, Mum,' said Amy, with dignity, "'and I see as I must leave.' There was a pause. "'Well, you know best. Good night, Amy. Good night, Mum.' "'She's a decent woman,' thought Sophia, but hopeless for this place now. The sisters were fronted with the fact that Constance had a month in which to find a new servant, and that a new servant would have to be trained in well-doing and might easily prove disastrous. Both Constance and Amy were profoundly disturbed by the prospective dissolution of a bond which dated from the 70s, and both were decided that there was no alternative to the dissolution. Outsiders knew merely that Mrs. Povey's old servant was leaving. Outsiders merely saw Mrs. Povey's advertisement in the signal for a new servant. They could not read hearts. Some of the younger generation even said superiorly that old-fashioned women like Mrs. Povey seem to have servants on the brain, et cetera, et cetera. "'Too.' "'Well, have you got your letter?' Sophia demanded cheerfully of Constance when she entered the bedroom the next morning. Constance merely shook her head. She was very depressed. Sophia's cheerfulness died out. As she hated to be insincerely optimistic, she said nothing. Otherwise, she might have remarked, "'Perhaps the afternoon post will bring it.' Gloom reigned. To Constance particularly, as Amy had given notice and as Cyril was remiss, it seemed really that the time was out of joint and life unworth living. Even the presence of Sophia did not bring her much comfort. Immediately Sophia left the room. Constance's sciatica began to return, and in a severe form. She had regretted this, less for the pain than because she had just assured Sophia, quite honestly, that she was not suffering. Sophia had been sceptical. After that it was, of course, imperative that Constance should get up as usual.  Besides, there was the immense enterprise of obtaining a new servant. Worries loomed mountainous. Suppose Cyril were dangerously ill and unable to write. Suppose something had happened to him. Something she never did obtain a new servant. Sophia, up in her room, was endeavouring to be philosophical, and to see the world brightly. She was saying to herself that she must take Constance in hand, that what Constance lacked was energy, that Constance must be stirred out of her groove. And in the cavernous kitchen, Amy, preparing the nine o'clock breakfast, was meditating upon the ingratitude of employers and wondering what the future held for her. She had a widowed mother in the very picturesque village of Snade, where the mortal and immortal welfare of every inhabitant was watched over by God's vice-regent, the busy counters of Cyril. She possessed about two hundred pounds of her own. Her mother for years had been begging Amy to share her home free of expense, but nevertheless Amy's mind was black with foreboding and vague dejection. The house was a house of sorrow, and these three women, each solitary, the devotees of sorrow. And the two dogs wandered disconsolate up and down, aware of the necessity for circumspection, never guessing that the highly peculiar state of the atmosphere had been brought about by nothing but a half-shut door and an incorrect tone. As Sophia, fully dressed this time, was descending to breakfast, she heard Constance's voice, feebly calling her, and found the convalescent still in bed. The truth could not be concealed. Constance was once more in great pain, and her moral condition was not favourable to fortitude. I wish you had told me to begin with, Sophia could not help saying, then I should have known what to do. Constance did not defend herself by saying that the pain had only recurred since their first interview that morning. She just wept. I'm very low," she blubbered. Sophia was surprised. She felt that this was not being a bane. During the progress of that interminable April morning, her acquaintance with the possibilities of sciatica, as an agent destructive of moral fibre, was further increased. Constance had no force at all to resist its activity. The sweetness of her resignation seemed to melt into nullity. She held to it that the doctor could do nothing for her. About noon, when Sophia was moving anxiously around her, she suddenly screamed, I feel as if my leg was going to burst! She cried. That decided Sophia. As soon as Constance was a little easier, she went downstairs to Amy. Amy, she said, it is a doctor sterling that your mistress has when she's ill, isn't it? Yes, ma'am. Where is his surgery? Well, ma'am, he did live just opposite with Doctor Harrah, but latterly he's gone to live at Blake Ridge. I wish you would put your things on and run up there and ask him to call as soon as he can. Oh, well, ma'am," says Amy, with the greatest willingness, I thought I heard Mrs. Cry out. She was not effusive. She was better than effusive, kindly and helpful with a certain reserve. There's something about that woman I like," said Sophia to herself. For a proved fool, Amy was indeed holding her own rather well. Doctor Sterling drove down about two o'clock. He had now been established in the five towns for more than a decade, and the stamp of success was on his brow and on the proud forehead of his trotting horse. He had, in the phrase of the signal, identified himself with the local life of the district. He was liked, being a man of broad sympathies. In his rich Scotch accent he could discuss with equal ability the flavour of whisky or of a sermon, and he had more than sufficient tact never to discuss either whisky's or sermons in the wrong place. He had made a speech, responding to the learned professions, at the annual dinner of the Society for the Prosecution of Felons, and this speech, in which praise of red wine was rendered innocuous by praise of books, his fine library was notorious, had classed him as a wit with the American consul, whose post-Prandial manner was modelled on Mark Twain's. He was thirty-five years of age, tall and stoutish, with a chubby, boyish face that the razor left chiefly blue every morning. The immediate effect of his arrival on Constance was miraculous. His presence almost cured her for a moment, just as though her malady had been too fake and he a dentist. Then, when he had finished his examination, the pain resumed its sway over her. In talking to her and to Sophia, he listened very seriously to all that they said. He seemed to regard the case as the one case that had ever aroused his genuine professional interest. But as it unfolded itself, in all its difficulty and urgency, so he seemed, in his mind, to be discovering wondrous ways of dealing with it. These mysterious discoveries seemed to give him confidence, and his confidence was communicated to the patient by means of faint sallies of humour. He was a highly skilled doctor. This fact, however, had no share in his popularity, which was due solely to his rare gift of taking a case very seriously, while remaining cheerful. He said he would return in a quarter of an hour, and he returned in thirteen minutes, with a hypodermic syringe, with which he attacked the pain in its central strongholds. What is it? asked Constance, breathing gratitude for the relief. He paused, looking at her roguishly from under lowered lids. I'd better not tell you, he said. It might lead you into mischief. Oh, but you must tell me, doctor! Constance insisted, anxious that he should live up to his reputation for Sophia's benefit. It's hydrochloride of cocaine, he said, and lifted a finger. Beware of the cocaine habit. It's ruined many a respectable family. But if I hadn't a certain amount of confidence in your strength of character, Mrs. Poovey, I wouldn't have risked it. He will have his joke with the doctor, Constance smiled, in a brighter world. He said that he should come again about half past five, and he arrived about half past six, and injected more cocaine. The special importance of the case was thereby established. On this second visit, he and Sophia soon grew rather friendly. When she conducted him downstairs again, he stopped chatting with her and a parlor for a long time, as though he had nothing else on earth to do, while his coachman walked the horse to and fro in front of the door. His attitude to her flattered Sophia, for it showed that he took her for no ordinary woman. It implied a continual assumption that she must be a mine of interest for anyone who was privileged to delve into her memory. So far among Constance's acquaintance, Sophia had met no one who showed more than a perfunctory curiosity as to her life. Her return was accepted with indifference. Her escapade of thirty years ago had entirely lost its dramatic quality. Many people indeed had never heard that she had run away from home to marry a commercial traveller, and to those who remembered or had been told it seemed a sufficiently banal exploit after thirty years. Her fear and Constance's that the town would be murmurous with gossip was ludicrously unfounded. The effect of time was such that even Mr. Critchlow appeared to have forgotten, even that she had been indirectly responsible for her father's death. She had nearly forgotten it herself. When she happened to think of it, she felt no shame, no remorse, seeing the death as purely accidental and not altogether unfortunate. On two points only was the town inquisitive, as to her husband, and as to the precise figure at which she had sold the pension. The town knew that she was probably not a widow, for she had been obliged to tell Mr. Critchlow, and Mr. Critchlow in some hour of tenderness had told Maria. But nobody had dared to mention the name of Gerald Scales to her. With her fashionable clothes, her striking mean of command, and the legend of her wealth, she inspired respect, if not all, in the town's folk. In the doctor's attitude there was something of a maze, she felt it, though the dull apathy of the people she had hitherto met was assuredly not without its advantageous side for her tranquillity of mind. It had touched her vanity, and the gaze of the doctor soothed the smart. He had so obviously divined her interestingness. He so obviously wanted to enjoy it. "'I've just been reading Zola's downfall,' he said. Her mind searched backwards and recalled a poster. "'Oh!' she replied, ladly barked. "'Yes. What do you think of it?' His eyes lighted at the prospect of talk. He was even pleased to hear her give him the title in French. "'I haven't read it,' she said, and she was momentarily sorry that she had not read it, for she could see that he was dashed. The doctor had supposed that residents in a foreign country involved a knowledge of the literature of that country. Yet he had never supposed that residents in England involved a knowledge of English literature. Sophia had read practically nothing since 1870. For her the latest author was Cébulier. Moreover, her impression of Zola was that he was not at all nice, and that he was the enemy of his race, but though at that date the world had scarcely heard of Dreyfus. Dr. Sterling had too hastily assumed that the opinions of the bourgeois upon art differ in different countries. "'You were actually at the Siege of Paris?' he questioned, trying again. "'Yes. And the Commune?' "'Yes, the Commune, too.' "'Well,' he exclaimed, "'yes, incredible. When I was reading that down for a light before last, I said to myself that he must have been through a lot of all that. I didn't know I was going to have the pleasure of a chat with you so soon.' She smiled. "'But how did you know I was in the Siege of Paris?' she asked, curious. "'How do I know? I know because I've seen that birthday card she sent to Mrs. Pauvi in 1871, after it was over. It's one of her possessions that card is. She showed it to me one day when she told me you were coming.' Sophia started. She had quite forgotten that card. It had not occurred to her that Constance would have treasured all those cards that she had dispatched during the early years of her exile. She responded as well as she could to his eagerness for personal details concerning the Siege and the Commune. He might have been disappointed at the prose of her answers, had he not been determined not to be disappointed. "'You seem to have taken it all very quietly,' he observed. "'Oh, yes,' she agreed, not without pride. "'But it's a long time since.' Those events, as they existed in her memory, scarcely warranted the tremendous fuss subsequently made about them. What were they, after all?' Such was her secret thought. Schirach himself was now nothing but a faint shadow. Still, were the estimates of those events true or false, she was a woman who had been through them, and Dr. Sterling's high appreciation of that fact was very pleasant to her. Their friendliness approached intimacy. Light had fallen. Outside could be heard the champing of a bit. "'I must be going on,' he said at last, but he did not move. "'Then there is nothing else I am to do for my sister,' so far inquired. "'I don't think so,' said he. "'It isn't a question of medicine.' "'Then what is it a question of?' so far demanded bluntly. "'Nerves,' he said, "'it's nearly all nerves. "'I know something about Mrs. Povey's constitution now, and I was hoping that your visit would do her good. She's been quite well. I mean, what you might call quite well, until the day before yesterday, when she sat in that draught. She was better last night, and then this morning I find her ever so much worse. "'No worries,' the doctor looked at her, confidentially. "'What can she have in the way of worries?' exclaimed so far. "'Well, that's to say, real worries.' "'Exactly,' the doctor agreed. "'I tell her she doesn't know what worry is,' said so far. "'So do I,' said the doctor, his eyes twinkling. She was a little upset because she didn't receive her usual Sunday letter from Cyril yesterday, but then she was weak and low. "'Clearly youth, Cyril,' mused the doctor. "'I think he's a particularly nice boy,' said so far eagerly. "'So you've seen him?' "'Of course,' said so far rather stiffly. "'Did the doctor suppose she did not know her own nephew?' She went back to the subject of her sister. She is also a little bothered, I think, because the servant is going to leave.' "'Oh! So Amy is going to leave, is she?' he spoke still lower. "'Between you and me, it's no bad thing.' "'I'm so glad you think so. In another few years the servant would have been the mistress here. One can see these things coming on, but it's so difficult to do anything. In fact, she can't do anything.' "'I did something,' said so far sharply. "'I told the woman straight out that it shouldn't go on while I was in the house. I didn't suspect it at first, but when I found out, I can tell you,' she let the doctor imagine what she could tell him. He smiled. "'No,' he said, I can easily understand that she didn't suspect anything at first. When she's well and bright, Mrs. Povey could hold her own, so I'm told, but it was certainly slowly getting worse. Then people talk about it,' said so far, shocked. "'As a native of Bursley, Mrs. Scales,' said the doctor, he ought to know what people in Bursley do.' Sofaya put her lips together, the doctor rose, smoothing his waistcoat. "'What does she bother with servants at all for?' he burst out. She's perfectly free. She hasn't got a care in the world if she only knew it. Why doesn't she go out and about and enjoy herself? She wants turning up. That's what your sister wants.' "'You're quite right,' Sofaya burst out in her turn. That's precisely what I say to myself. Precisely. I was thinking it over only this morning. She wants stirring up. She's got into a rut. She needs to be jolly. Why doesn't she go to some seaside place and live in a hotel and enjoy herself? Isn't anything to prevent her? Nothing whatever. Instead of being dependent on a servant, I believe in enjoying oneself, when you've got the money to do it with. Can you imagine anybody living in busily for pleasure, and especially in St. Luke's Square, right on the thick of it all, smoke, dirt, no air, no light, no scenery, no amusements? What does she do it for? She's in a rut.' "'Yes, she's in a rut,' Sofaya repeated her own phrase, which he had copied. "'My, what!' said the doctor. Wouldn't I clear out and enjoy myself if I could? Oh, sister, as a young woman!' Of course she is, Sofaya concurred, feeling that she herself was even younger. Of course she is. And except she's nervously organised and has certain predispositions, there's nothing the matter with her. This sciatic, I don't say it would be cured, but it might be by a complete change and throwing off all these ridiculous worries. Not only does she live in the most depressing conditions, but she suffers tortures for it, and there's absolutely no need for her to be here at all. "'Doctor,' said Sofaya, solemnly impressed, "'you are quite right, I agree with every word you say.' "'Naturally she's attached to the place,' he continued, glancing round the room. "'I know all about that after living here all her life. But she's got to break herself of the attachment. It's her duty to do so. She ought to show a little energy. I'm deeply attached to my bed in the morning, but I have to leave it.' Of course,' said Sofaya, in an impatient tone, as though disgusted with every person who could not perceive or would not subscribe to these obvious truths that the doctor was uttering, "'Of course. What she needs is the bustle of life in a good hotel, the good hydro, for instance, among jolly people, parties, games, excursions. She wouldn't be the same woman, you'd see. Wouldn't I do it if I could? Strath-pairful! She'd soon forget her sciatica. I don't know what Mrs. Povey's annual income is, but I expect that if she took it into her head to live in the dearest hotel in England, there would be no reason why she shouldn't.' Sofaya lifted her head and smiled in calm amusements. "'I expect so,' she said, superiorly. "'A hotel? That's the life. No worries. If you want anything, you ring a bell. If a waiter gives notice, it's someone else who has to worry, not you. But you know all about darkness' scales.' "'No one better,' murmured Sofaya. "'Good evening,' he said abruptly, sticking out his hand, "'I'll be down in the morning.' "'Did you ever mention this to my sister?' Sofaya asked him, rising. "'Yes,' said he, "'but it's no use. Oh, yes, I've told her. But she does really think it's quite impossible. She wouldn't even hear of going to live in London with her beloved son. She won't listen.' "'I never thought of that,' said Sofaya. "'Good night.' Their hand-grass was very intimate and mutually comprehending. He was pleased by the quick responsiveness of her temperament and the masterful vigor which occasionally flashed out in her replies. He noticed the hardly perceptible distortion of her handsome, worn face. Then he said to himself, "'She's been through a thing or two, and she'll have to mind her peas and queues.' Sofaya was pleased because he admired her, and because with her he dropped his bedside jocularities, and talked plainly as a sensible man will talk when he meets an uncommonly wise woman, and because he echoed and amplified her own thoughts.  For a few moments she mused solitary in the parlour, and then lowering the gas she went upstairs to her sister, who lay in the dark. Sofaya struck a match. "'You've been having quite a long chat with the doctor,' said Constance. "'He's very good company, isn't he? What did he talk about this time?' "'He wanted to know about Paris and so on,' Sofaya answered. "'Oh, I believe he's a rare student.' Lying there in the dark, the simple Constance never suspected that these two active and strenuous ones had been arranging her life for her so that she could be jolly and live for twenty years yet. She did not suspect that she had been tried and found guilty of sinful attachments, that of being in a rut, and of lacking the elements of ordinary sagacity.  She had thought herself a fairly sensible kind of creature. III The sisters had an early supper together in Constance's bedroom. Constance was much easier. Having a fancy that her little movement would be beneficial, she had even got up for a few moments and moved about the room. Now she sat his sconst in pillows. A fire burned in the old-fashioned ineffectual grate. From the sun vaults opposite came the sound of a phonograph singing an invitation to God to save its gracious queen. This phonograph was a wonderful novelty, and filled the sun nightly. For a few evenings it had interested the sisters in spite of themselves, but they had soon sickened of it and loathed it. Sophia became more and more obsessed by the monstrous absurdity of the simple fact that she and Constance were there, in that dark, inconvenient house, wearied by the gaiety of public houses, blackened by smoke, surrounded by mud, instead of being luxuriously installed in a beautiful climate, amid scenes of beauty and white cleanliness. Secretly, she became more and more indignant. Amy entered, bearing a letter in her coarse hand. As Amy unceremoniously handed the letter to Constance, Sophia thought, if she was my servant she would hand letters on a tray. An advertisement had already been sent to the signal. Constance took the letter trembling. Here it is at last! She cried. When she had put on her spectacles and read it, she exclaimed, Bless us! Here's news! He's coming down. That's why he didn't write on Saturday, as usual. She gave the letter to Sophia. It ran, Sunday midnight. Dear mother, just a line to say I'm coming down to Bursley on Wednesday, on business with peels. I shall get to Nipot five-twenty-eight and take the loop. I've been very busy, and as I was coming down I didn't write on Saturday. I hope you didn't worry. Love to yourself and answer fire. Yours, see. I must send him a line, said Constance, excitedly. What, to-night? Yes, Amy can easily catch the last post with it, otherwise he won't know that I've got his letter. She rang the bell. Sophia thought his coming down is really no excuse for his not writing on Saturday. How could she guess that he was coming down? I shall have to put in a little word to that young man. I wonder, Constance is so blind. She's quite satisfied now that his letter has come. On behalf of the elder generation she rather resented Constance's eagerness to write in answer. But Constance was not so blind. Sophia thought exactly as Sophia thought. In her heart she did not at all justify all excuse, Cyril. She remembered separately almost every instance of his carelessness in her regard. Hope I didn't worry indeed, she said to herself, with a faint touch of bitterness, apropos the phrase in his letter. Nevertheless she insisted on writing at once, and Amy had to bring the writing materials. Mr. Cyril is coming down on Wednesday, she said to Amy, with great dignity. Amy's stony calmness was shaken, for Mr. Cyril was a great deal to Amy. Amy wondered how she would be able to look Mr. Cyril in the face when he knew that she had given notice. In the middle of writing on her knee, Constance looked up at Sophia and said, as though defending herself against an accusation, I didn't write to him yesterday, you know, or today. No, Sophia murmured, ascentingly. Constance rang the bell yet again, and Amy was sent out to the post. Soon afterwards the bell was rung for a fourth time, and not answered. I suppose she hasn't come back yet, but I thought I heard the door. What a long time she is! What do you want? Sophia asked. I just want to speak to her, said Constance. When the bell had been rung seven or eight times, Amy at length reappeared, somewhat breathless. Amy, said Constance, let me examine those sheets, will you? Yes, ma'am, said Amy, apparently knowing what sheets, of all the various and multitudinous sheets in that house, and the pillowcases, Constance added, as Amy left the room. So it continued, the next day the fever heightened. Constance was up early before Sophia, and trotting about the house like a girl, immediately after breakfast Cyril's bedroom was invested and revolutionised. Not till evening was Alder restored in that chamber. And on the Wednesday morning it had to be dusted afresh. Sophia watched the preparations and the increasing agitation of Constance's demeanour, with an astonishment which she had real difficulty in concealing. Is the woman absolutely mad? she asked herself. The spectacle was ludicrous, or it seemed so to Sophia, who's career had not embraced much experience of mothers. It was not as if the manifestations of Constance's anxiety were dignified, or original, or splendid. They were just silly, ordinary fussinesses, they had no sense in them. Sophia was very careful to make no observation. She felt that before she and Constance were very much older, she had a very great deal to do, and that a subtle diplomacy and wary tactics would be necessary. Moreover Constance's angelic temper was slightly affected by the strain of expectation. She had a tendency to rasp. After the high tea was set she suddenly sprang on to the sofa and lifted down the staggered eave, engraving. The dust on the top of the frame incensed her. What are you going to do? Sophia asked, in a final marvel. I'm going to change it to that one, said Constance, pointing to another engraving opposite the fireplace. She said the effect would be much better if they were changed, and his lordship is very particular. Constance did not go to Berstley's station to meet her son. She explained that it upset her to do so, and that also Cyril preferred her not to come. Suppose I go to meet him, said Sophia at half-past five. The idea had visited her suddenly. She thought, then I could talk to him before anyone else. Oh, do! Constance agreed. Sophia put her things on with remarkable expedition. She arrived at the station a minute before the train came in. Only a few persons emerged from the train, and Cyril was not among them. A porter said that there was not supposed to be any connection between the loop-line trains and the main-line expresses, and that probably the express had missed the loop. She waited thirty-five minutes for the next loop, and Cyril did not emerge from that train, either. Constance opened the front door to her, and showed a telegram. Sorry! Prevented last moment. Writing! Cyril! Sophia had known it. Somehow she had known that it was useless to wait for the second train. Constance was silent and calm. Sophia also. What a shame! What a shame! Thumped Sophia's heart. It was the most ordinary episode. But beneath her calm she was furious against her favourite. She hesitated. I'm just going out a minute, she said. Where? Asked Constance. Hadn't we better have tea? I suppose we must have tea. I shan't belong. I want to buy something. Sophia went to the post-office, and dispatched a telegram. Then, partially eased, she returned to the arid and painful desolation of the house. Book 4, Chapter 3 Part 2 of The Old Wife's Tale by Arnold Bennett This is of LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For further information, or to volunteer, please go to LibriVox.org. Reading by Andy Minter The Old Wife's Tale by Arnold Bennett Book 4 What Life Is Chapter 3 Towards Hotel Life Part 2 For The next evening Cyril sat at the tea-table in the parlor with his mother and his aunt. To Constance his presence there had something the miraculous in it he had come after all. Sophia was in a rich robe, and for ornament wore an old silver-gilt neck-chain which was clasped at the throat, and fell in double to her waist where it was caught in her belt. This chain interested Cyril. He referred to it once or twice, and then he said, Just let me have a look at that chain, and put out his hand, and Sophia lent forward so that he could handle it. His fingers played with it thus for some seconds. The picture strikingly affected Constance. At length he dropped it, and said, Hmm! After a pause he said, Louis XVI there, and Sophia said, They told me so, but it's nothing. It only cost thirty francs, you know. And Cyril took her up sharply. What does that matter? Then after another pause he asked, How often do you break a link of it? Oh! Often, she said, it's always getting shorter. And he murmured mysteriously, Hmm! He was still mysterious, withdrawn within himself, extraordinarily uninterested in his physical surroundings, but that evening he talked more than he usually did. He was benevolent, and showed a particular benevolence towards his mother, apparently exerting himself to answer her questions with fullness and heartiness, as though admitting frankly her right to be curious. He praised the tea. He seemed to notice what he was eating. He took spot on his knee, and gazed in admiration at Fosette. By Jove, he said, that's a dog that is, all the same, and he burst out laughing. I won't have Fosette laughed at, Sophia warned him. No, seriously, he said, in his quality of an amateur of dogs, she is very fine. Even then he could not help adding, What you can see of her! Thereupon Sophia shook her head, deprecating such wit. Sophia was very lenient towards him. Her leniency could be perceived in her eyes, which followed his movements all the time. Do you think he's like me, Constance? She asked. I wish I was half as good-looking, said Cyril quickly, and Constance said, As a baby he was very like you. He was a handsome baby. He wasn't at all like you when he was at school.  He's very much changed since he left school. He was rather heavy and clumsy then. Heavy and clumsy, exclaimed Sophia, well, I never should have believed it. Oh, but he was, Constance insisted. Now, mate her, said Cyril, it's a pity you don't want that cake cutting into. I think I could have eaten a bit of that cake. But of course, if it's only for show, Constance sprang up, seizing a knife. You shouldn't tease your mother, Sophia told him. He doesn't really want any Constance. He's regularly stuffed himself. And Cyril agreed. No, no, mate, don't cut it. I really couldn't. I was only gassing. But Constance could never see clearly through humour of that sort. She cut three slices of cake, and she held the plate towards Cyril.  Come, she said obstinately, I'm waiting. How much longer must I hold this plate? And he had to take a slice. So had Sophia. When she was roused, they both of them had to yield to Constance. With the dogs and the splendour of the tea-table under the gas, and the distinction of Sophia and Cyril, and the conversation which on the whole was gay and free, rising at times to jorigarulity, the scene in her parlour ought surely to have satisfied Constance utterly. She ought to have been quite happy, as her sciatica had raised the siege for a space. But she was not quite happy. The circumstances of Cyril's arrival had disturbed her. They had in fact wounded her, though she would scarcely admit the wound. In the morning she had received a brief letter from Cyril to say that he had not been able to calm and vaguely promising or half-promising to run down at a later date. That letter had the cardinal defects of all Cyril's relations with his mother. It was casual, and it was not candid. It gave no hint of the nature of the obstacle which had prevented him from coming. Cyril had always been too secretive. She was gravely depressed by the letter, which she did not show to Sophia, because it impaired her dignity as a mother, and displayed her son in a bad light. Then about eleven o'clock a telegram had come for Sophia. That's all right, Sophia had said on reading it, he'll be here this evening. Then she had handed over the telegram, which read, Very well, we'll come same train to-day. And Constance learned that when Sophia had rushed out just before tea on the previous evening, it was to telegraph to Cyril. What did you say to him? Constance asked. Oh! said Sophia, with a careless air. I told him I thought he ought to come. After all, you're more important than any business, Constance, and I don't like him behaving like that. I was determined he should come.  Constance had pretended to be pleased and grateful. But the existence of a wound was incontestable. Sophia then could do more with Cyril than she could. Sophia had only met him once, and could simply twist him round her little finger. He would never have done so much for his mother. A fine sort of obstacle it must have been if a single telegram from Sophia could overcome it. When Sophia, too, was secretive, she had gone out and had telegraphed and had not breathed a word until she got the reply sixteen hours later. She was secretive, and Cyril was secretive. They resembled one another. They had taken to one another. But Sophia was a curious mixture. When Constance had asked her if she should go to the station again to meet Cyril, she had replied scornfully, No, indeed. I've done going to meet Cyril. People who don't arrive must not expect to be met. When Cyril drove up to the door, Sophia had been in attendance. She hurried down the steps. Don't say anything about my telegram. She had rapidly whispered to Cyril. There was no time for further explanation. Constance was at the top of the steps. Constance had not heard the whisper, but she had seen it. And she saw a guilty, puzzled look on Cyril's face. Afterwards an ineffectively concealed, conspiratorial look on both their faces. They had something between them, from which she, the mother, was shut out. Was it not natural that she should be wounded? She was far too proud to mention the telegrams. And as neither Cyril nor Sophia mentioned them, the circumstances leading to Cyril's change of plan were not referred to at all, which was very curious. Then Cyril was more sociable than he had ever been. He was different under his aunt's gaze. Suddenly he treated his mother faultlessly. But Constance said to herself, it's because she's here that he's so specially nice to me. When tea was finished and they were going upstairs to the drawing-room, she asked him, with her eye on the staggered eve, engraving, Well, is it a success? What? His eye followed hers. Oh! You've changed it. What did you do that for, Mater? You said it would be better like that, she reminded him. Did I? He seemed genuinely surprised. I don't remember. I believe it is better, though, he added. It might be even better still if you turned it the other way up.  How the other way up, Constance queried. Then as she comprehended that he was teasing her, she said, Get away with you! And pretended to box his ears. You were fond enough of that picture at one time, she said, ironically. Yes, I was, Mater, he submissively agreed, there's no getting over that. And he pressed her cheeks between his hand and kissed her. In the drawing-room he smoked cigarettes and played the piano, waltzes of his own composition. Constance and Sophia did not entirely comprehend those waltzes, but they agreed that all were wonderful, and that one was very pretty indeed. It soothed Constance that Sophia's opinion coincided with hers. He said that that waltz was the worst of the lot. When he had finished with the piano, Constance informed him about Amy. Oh, she told me, he said, when she brought me my water, I didn't mention it, because I thought it would be rather a sore subject. Beneath the casualness of his tone there lurked a certain curiosity, a willingness to hear details. He heard them. At five minutes to ten, when Constance had yawned, he threw a bomb among them on the hearth-rug. Well, he said, I've got an appointment with Matthew at the Conservative Club at ten o'clock. I must go. Don't wait up for me. Both women protested. Sophia the more vivaciously. It was Sophia now who was wounded. It's business, he said, defending himself. He's going away early to-morrow, and it's my only chance. And as Constance did not brighten, he went on. This has to be attended to. You mustn't think I've got nothing to do but enjoy myself. No hint of the nature of the business. He never explained. As to business, Constance knew only that she allowed him three hundred a year and paid his local tailor. The sum had at first seemed to her enormous, but she had grown accustomed to it. I should have preferred you to see Mr. Peele Swinnett and hear, said Constance. You could have had a room to yourselves. I do not like you going out at ten o'clock at night to a club. Well, good night, mate, he said, getting up. See you to-morrow. I shall take the key out of the door. It's true my pocket will never be the same again. Sophia saw Constance into bed, and provided her with two hot water-bottles against sciatica. They did not talk much. Five. Sophia sat waiting on the sofa in the parlour. It appeared to her that, though a little more than a month had elapsed since her arrival in Bursley, she had already acquired a new set of interests and anxieties. Paris and her life there had receded in the strangest way. Sometimes for hours she would absolutely forget Paris. Thoughts of Paris were disconcerting, for either Paris or Bursley must surely be unreal. As she sat waiting on the sofa, Paris kept coming into her mind. Suddenly it was astonishing that she should be just as preoccupied with her schemes for the welfare of Constance, as she had ever been preoccupied with schemes for the improvement of the Poncian Frenchman. She said to herself, My life has been so queer, and yet every part of it separately seemed ordinary enough. How will it end? Then there were footfalls on the steps outside, and a key was put into the door, which she at once opened. Oh! exclaimed Cyril, startled, and also somewhat out of countenance.  Thanks! He came in, smoking the end of a cigar. Fancy having to cart that about, he murmured, holding up the great old-fashioned key before inserting it in the lock on the inside. I stayed up, said Sophia, because I wanted to talk to you about your mother, and it's so difficult to get a chance. Cyril smiled, not without self-consciousness, and dropped into his mother's rocking chair, which he had twisted round with his feet to face the sofa. Yes, he said, I was wondering what was the real meaning of your telegram. What was it? He blew out a lot of smoke, and waited for her reply. I thought you ought to come down, said Sophia, cheerfully but firmly. It was a fearful disappointment to your mother that you didn't come yesterday, and when she's expecting a letter from you, and it doesn't come, it makes her ill. Oh! well! he said, I'm glad it's no worse. I thought from your telegram there was something seriously wrong. Then when you told me not to mention it, when I came in, she saw that he had failed to realise the situation, and she lifted her head, challengingly. You neglect your mother, young man! she said. Oh! come now, auntie! he answered, quite gently. You mustn't talk like that. I write to her every week. I've never missed a week. I come down as often as you miss the Sunday sometimes, Sophia interrupted him. Perhaps, he said doubtfully, but what? Don't you understand that she simply lives for your letters? And if one doesn't come, she's very upset indeed, can't eat, and it brings on her sciatica, and I don't know what. He was taken aback by her boldness, her directness. But how silly of her! A fellow can't always. It may be silly, but there it is. You can't alter her, and after all, what would it cost you to be more attentive, even to write to her twice a week? You aren't going to tell me that you're so busy as all that. I know a good deal more about young men than your mother does. She smiled like an aunt. He answered her smile, sheepishly. If you'll only put yourself in your mother's place. I expect you're quite right, he said at length, and I much obliged you for telling me. How was I to know? He threw the end of the cigar with a large sweeping gesture into the fire. Well, anyhow, you know now, she said curtly, and she thought, you ought to have known it was your business to know. But she was pleased with the way in which he had accepted her criticism, and the gesture with which he threw away the cigar end struck her as very distinguished. That's all right, he said dreamily, as if to say, that's done with, and he rose. Sophia, however, did not stir. Your mother's health is not what it ought to be, she went on, and gave him a full account of her conversation with the doctor. Really? Cyril murmured, leaning on the mantelpiece with his elbow and looking down at her. Sterling said that, did he? I should have thought she would have been better where she is, in the square. Why better in the square? Oh, I don't know, neither do I. She's always been here. Yes, said Sophia, she's been here a great deal too long. What do you suggest, Cyril asked, with impatience in his voice against this new anxiety that was being thrust upon him? Well, said Sophia, what should you say to her coming to London and living with you? Cyril started back, Sophia could see that he was genuinely shot. I don't think that would do at all, he said. Why? Oh, I don't think it would. London wouldn't suit her, she's not that sort of woman. I really thought she was quite all right down here. She wouldn't like London. He shook his head, looking up at the gas. His eyes had a dangerous glare. But supposing she said she did. Here, Cyril began, in a new and brighter tone. Why don't you and she keep house together somewhere? That would be the very—he turned his head sharply. There was a noise on the staircase, and the staircase door opened with its eternal creak. Yes, said Sophia, the short-sleeved head begins at the plaster-la-concorde, and then—is that you, Constance? The figure of Constance finalled the doorway. Her face was troubled. She had heard Cyril in the street, and had come down to see why he'd remained so long in the parlour. She was astounded to find Sophia with him. There they were, as intimate as cronies, chattering about Paris, and doubtedly she was jealous. Never did Cyril talk like that to her. I thought she would embed a sleep-sophire. She said weekly it's nearly one o'clock. No, said Sophia, I didn't seem to feel like going to bed, and then Cyril happened to come in. But neither she nor Cyril could look innocent, and Constance glanced from one to the other apprehensively. The next morning Cyril received a letter which he said, with no further explanation, forced him to leave at once. He intimated that there had been danger in his coming just then, and that matters had turned out as he had feared. You think over what I said," he whispered to Sophia when they were alone for an instant, and let me know. Six. A week before Easter, the guests at the Rutland Hotel in the Broadwalk, Buxton, being assembled for afternoon tea in the Lounge of that establishment, witnessed the arrival of two middle-aged ladies and two dogs. Critically into her examine newcomers was one of the amusements of the occupants of the Lounge. This apartment, furnished in the Oriental style, made a pretty show among the photographs in the illustrated brochure of the hotel, and though draughty it was of all the public rooms the favourite. It was draughty because only separated from the street, if the Broadwalk can be called a street, by two pairs of swinging doors in charge of two-page boys. Every visitor entering the hotel was obliged to pass through the Lounge, and for newcomers the passage was an ordeal. They were made to feel that they had so much to learn, so much to get accustomed to, like passengers who join a ship at a port of call, they felt that the business lay before them of creating a niche for themselves in a hostile and haughty society. The two ladies produced a fairly favourable impression at the outset by reason of their two dogs. It is not everyone who has the courage to bring dogs into an expensive private hotel. To bring one dog indicates that you are not accustomed to deny yourself small pleasures for the sake of a few extra shillings. To bring two indicates that you have no fear of hotel managers, and that you are in the habit of regarding your own whim as nature's law. The shorter and stouter of the two ladies did not impose herself with much force on the collective vision of the Rutland. She was dressed in black, not fashionably, though with a certain unpretending richness. Her gestures were timid and nervous. Evidently she relied on her tall companion to shield her in the first trying contacts of hotel life. The tall lady was of a different stamp, handsome, stately, deliberate, and handsomely dressed in colours. She had the assured hard gaze of a person who is thoroughly habituated to the inspection of strangers. She curtly asked one of the page-boys for the manager, and the manager's wife tripped rapidly down the stairs in response, and was noticeably deferential. Her voice was quiet and commanding. The voice of one who gives orders that are obeyed. The opinion of the lounge was divided as to whether or not they were sisters. They vanished quietly upstairs in convoy of the manager's wife, and they did not reappear for the lounge tea, which in any case would have been undrinkably stewed. It then became known, by the agency of one of the guests, to be found in every hotel, who acquires all the secrets of the hotel by the exercise of unabashed curiosity on the personnel, that the two ladies had engaged two bedrooms, Numbers 17 and 18, and the sumptuous private parlor with a balcony on the first floor, styled C in the nomenclature of rooms. This fact definitely established the position of the new arrivals in the moral fabric of the hotel. They were wealthy. They had money to throw away. For even in a select hotel like the Rutland, it is not everybody who indulges in a private sitting-room. There were only four such apartments in the hotel, as against fifty bedrooms. At dinner they had a small table to themselves in a corner. The short lady wore a white shawl over her shoulders. Her almost apologetic manner during the meal confirmed the view that she must be a very simple person, unused to the world and its ways. The other continued to be imperial. She ordered half a bottle of wine, and drank two glasses. She stared about her, quite self-unconsciously, whereas a little woman divided her glances between her companion and her plate. They did not talk much. Immediately after dinner they retired. Widows in easy circumstances was the verdict, but the contrast between the pair held puzzles that piqued the inquisitive. Sophia had conquered again. Once more Sophia had resolved to accomplish a thing, and she had accomplished it. Constance had fallen out thus. The advertisement for a general servant in the signal had been a disheartening failure. A few answers were received, but of an entirely unsatisfactory character. Constance, a great deal more than Sophia, had been astounded by the bearing and demands of modern servants. Constance was in despair. If Constance had not had an immense pride, she would have been ready to suggest to Sophia that Amy should be asked to stay on. But Constance would have accepted a modern impudent wench first. It was Mariah Critchlow who got Constance out of her difficulty, by giving her particulars a reliable servant who was about to leave a situation in which she had stayed for eight years. Constance did not imagine that a servant recommended by Mariah Critchlow would suit her, but, being in a quandary, she arranged to see the servant, and both she and Sophia were very pleased with the girl, Rose Binyon, by name. The mischief was that Rose would not be free until about a month after Amy had left. Rose would have left her old situation, but she had a fancy to go and spend a fortnight with a married sister at Manchester before settling into new quarters. Constance and Sophia felt that this caprice of roses was really very tiresome and unnecessary. Of course Amy might have been asked to stay on just for a month. Amy would probably have volunteered to do so had she been aware of the circumstances. She was not, however, aware of the circumstances, and Constance was determined not to be beholden to Amy for anything. What could the sisters do? Sophia, who conducted all the interviews with Rose and the other candidates, said that it would be a grave error to let Rose slip. Besides they had no one to take her place. No one who could come at once. The dilemma was appalling. At least it seemed appalling to Constance, who really believed that no mistress had ever been so awkwardly fixed. And yet, when Sophia first proposed her solution, Constance considered it to be a quite impossible solution. Sophia's idea was that they should lock up the house and leave it on the same day as Amy left it, to spend a few weeks in some holiday resort. To begin with, the idea of leaving the house empty seemed to Constance a mad idea. The house had never been left empty. And then, going for a holiday in April, Constance had never been for a holiday, except in the month of August. No, the project was beset with difficulties and dangers, which could not be overcome, nor provided against. For example, we can't come back to a dirty house, said Constance, and we can't have a strange servant coming here before us. To which Sophia had replied, Then what shall you do? And Constance, after prodigious reflection on the frightful past at which Destiny had brought her, had said that she supposed she would have to manage with a charwoman until Rose's advent. She asked Sophia if she remembered Old Maggie. Sophia, of course, perfectly remembered. Old Maggie was dead, as well as the drunk and amiable Hollins. But there was a young Maggie, wife of a bricklayer, who went out charring in the spare time left from looking after seven children. The more Constance meditated upon young Maggie, the more she was convinced that young Maggie would meet the case. Constance felt she could trust young Maggie. This expression of trust in Maggie was Constance's undoing. Why should they not go away and arrange with Maggie to come to the house a few days before their return to clean and ventilate? The weight of reason overbore Constance. She yielded unwillingly. But she yielded. It was the mention of Buxton that finally moved her. She knew Buxton. Her old landlady at Buxton was dead, and Constance had not visited the place since before Samuel's death. Nevertheless its name had a reassuring sound to her ears, and for sciatica its waters and climate were admitted to be the best in England. Gradually Constance permitted herself to be embarked on this perilous enterprise of shutting up the house for twenty-five days. She imparted the information to Amy, who was astounded. Then she commenced upon her domestic preparations. She wrapped Samuel's family-bible in brown paper. She put Cyril's straw-framed copy of Sir Edwin Lancer away in a drawer, and she took ten thousand other precautions. It was grotesque. It was partial. It was what you please. And when, with the cab at the door, and the luggage on the cab, and the dogs chained together, and Mariah Critchlow waiting on the pavement to receive the key, Constance put the key into the door on the outside, and locked up the empty house. Constance's face was tragic with innumerable apprehensions, and Sophia felt that she had performed a miracle. She had. On the whole the sisters were well received in the hotel, though they were not at an age which commands popularity. In the criticism which was passed upon them, the free, realistic, and relentless criticism of private hotels, Sophia was at first set down as overbearing. But in a few days this view was modified, and Sophia rose in esteem. The fact was that Sophia's behaviour changed after forty-eight hours. The Rutland Hotel was very good. It was so good as to disturb Sophia's profound beliefs that there was in the world only one truly high-class pensioner, that nobody could teach the creator of that unique pension anything about the art of management. The food was excellent, the attendance in the bedroom was excellent, and Sophia knew how difficult of attainment was excellent bedroom attendance, and to the eye the interior of the Rutland presented a spectacle far richer than the pensioner's friendship could show. The standard of comfort was higher. The guests had a more distinguished appearance. It is true that the prices were much higher. Sophia was humbled. She had enough sense to adjust her perspective. Further, she found herself ignorant of many matters which, by the other guests, were taken for granted, and used as a basis for conversation. Prolonged residents in Paris would not justify this ignorance. It seemed rather to intensify its strangeness. Thus, when someone of cosmopolitan experience, having learnt that she had lived in Paris for many years, asked what had been going on lately at the Comédie Française, she had to admit that she had not been in a French theatre for nearly thirty years, and when, on a Sunday, the same person questioned her about the English chaplain in Paris, lo, she knew nothing but his name, had never even seen him. Sophia's life, in its way, had been as narrow as Constance's. Though her experience of human nature was wide, she had been in a groove as deep as Constance's. She had been utterly absorbed in doing one single thing. By tacit agreement she had charge of the expedition. She paid all the bills. Constance protested against the expensiveness of the affair several times, but Sophia quietened her by sheer force of individuality. Constance had one advantage over Sophia. She knew Buxton and its neighbourhood intimately, and she was therefore in a position to show off the sights and to deal with local peculiarities. In all other respects Sophia led. They very soon became acclimatised to the hotel. They moved easily between turkey carpets and sculptured ceilings. Their eyes grew used to the eternal vision of themselves and other slow-moving dignities in gilt mirrors, to the heaviness of great oil paintings of picturesque scenery, to the indications of surreptitious dirt behind massive furniture, to the grey-brown of the shirt fronts of the waiters, to the litter of trays, boots and pales in long corridors. Their ears were always awake to the sounds of gongs and bells. They consulted the barometer and ordered the daily carriage with the perfuncturiness of habit. They discovered what can be learnt of other people's needlework in a hotel on a wet day. They performed cooperative outings with fellow-guests. They invited fellow-guests into their sitting-room. When there was entertainment they did not avoid it. The fire was determined to do everything that could with propriety be done, partly as an outlet for her own energy, which, since she left Paris, had been accumulating, but more on Constance's account. She remembered all that Dr. Sterling had said, and the heartiness of her own agreement with his opinions. It was a great day, when, under the tuition of an aged lady, and in the privacy of their parlour, they both began to study the elements of patience. Constance had ever played at cards. Constance was almost afraid to touch cards, as though in the very cardboard there had been something unrighteous and perilous. But the respectability of a luxurious private hotel makes proper every act that passes within its walls, and Constance plausibly argued that no harm could come from a game which you played by yourself. She acquired, with some aptitude, several varieties of patience. She said, I think I could enjoy that, if I kept at it, but it does make my head whirl. Nevertheless Constance was not happy in the hotel. She worried the whole time about her empty house. She anticipated difficulties and even disasters. She wondered again and again whether she could trust the second Maggie in her house alone, whether it would not be better to return home earlier, and participate personally in the cleaning. She would have decided to do so had it not been that she hesitated to subject Sophia to the inconvenience of a house upside down. The matter was on her mind always. Always she was restlessly anticipating the day when they would leave. She had carelessly left her heart behind in St. Luke's Square. She had never stayed in the hotel before, and she did not like it. sciatica occasionally harassed her, yet when it came to the point she would not drink the waters. She said she had never drunk them, and seemed to regard that as a reason why she never should. Sophia had achieved a miracle in getting her to Buxton for nearly a month, but the ultimate grand effect lacked brilliance. Then came the fatal letter, the desolating letter which vindicated Constance's dark apprehensions. Rose Benion calmly wrote to say that she had decided not to come to St. Luke's Square. She expressed regret for any inconvenience which might possibly be caused. She was polite, but the monstrousness of it. Constance felt that this actually and truly was the deepest depth of her calamities. There she was, far from a dirty home with no servant and no prospect of a servant. She bore herself bravely, nobly, but she was stricken. She wanted to return to the dirty home at once. Sophia felt that the situation created by this letter would demand her highest powers of dealing with situations, and she determined to deal with it adequately. Great measures were needed. For Constance's health and happiness were at stake. She alone could act. She knew that she could not rely upon Cyril. She still had an immense partiality for Cyril. She thought in most charming young man she had ever known. She knew him to be industrious and clever. But in his relations with his mother there was a hardness, a touch of callousness. She explained it vaguely by saying that they did not get on well together, which was strange considering Constance's sweet affectionateness. Still, Constance could be a little trying at times. Anyhow, it soon became clear to Sophia that the idea of mother and son living together in London was entirely impractical. No, if Constance was to be saved from herself there was no one but Sophia to save her. After half a morning spent chiefly in listening to Constance's hopeless comments on the monstrous letter, Sophia said suddenly that she must take the dogs for an airing. Constance did not feel equal to walking out and she would not drive. She did not want Sophia to venture because the sky threatened. However, Sophia did venture and she returned a few minutes late for lunch, full of vigor with two happy dogs. Constance was moodily awaiting her in the dining-room. This could not eat, but Sophia ate and she poured out cheerfulness and energy as from a source inexhaustible. After lunch it began to rain. Constance said she thought she would retire directly to the sitting-room. I am coming too," said Sophia, who was still wearing her hat and coat and carried her gloves in her hand. In the pretentious and banal sitting-room they sat down on either side of the fire. Constance put a little shawl round her shoulders, pushed her spectacles into her grey hair, folded her hands and sighed an enormous sigh. Oh, dear! She was the tragic muse, aged and in black silk. I tell you what I have been thinking," said Sophia, folding up her gloves. What! asked Constance, expecting some wonderful solution to come out of Sophia's active brain. There is no earthly reason why you should go back to Bursley. The house won't run away, and it's costing nothing but the rent. Why not take things easy for a bit? And stay here," said Constance, with an inflection that enlightened Sophia as to the intensity of her dislike of the existence at the Rutland. No, not here," Sophia answered, with quick deprecation. There are plenty of other places we could go to. I don't think I should be easy in my mind," said Constance, but with nothing being settled, the house. What! Does it matter about the house? It matters a great deal," said Constance, seriously, and slightly hurt. I didn't leave things as if we were going to be away for a long time. It wouldn't do. I don't see anything that could come to any harm. I really don't," said Sophia persuasively. Dirt can always be cleaned, after all. I think you ought to go about more. It would do you good. All are good in the world, and there is no reason why you shouldn't go about.  Why shouldn't we go abroad together, for instance? You and I. I'm sure you would enjoy it very much. Abroad! murmured Constance, aghast, recoiling from the proposition as from a grave danger. Yes, said Sophia, brightly and eagerly. She was determined to take Constance abroad. There are lots of places we could go to and live very comfortably among nice English people. She thought of the resort she had visited with Gerald in the sixties. They seemed to her like cities of a dream. They came back to her as a dream recurs. I don't think going abroad would suit me, said Constance. But why not? You don't know. You've never tried, my dear." She smiled encouragingly. But Constance did not smile. Constance was inclined to be grim. I don't think it would, said she obstinately. I'm one of your stay-at-homes.  We can't all be alike," she added, with her tart accent. Sophia suppressed a feeling of irritation. She knew that she had a stronger individuality than Constance's. Well, then, she said, with undiminished persuasiveness, in England or Scotland, there are several places I should like to visit, Torquay, Tumbridge Wells. I've always understood that Tumbridge Wells is a very nice town, indeed, with very superior people and a beautiful climate. I think I shall have to be getting back to St. Luke's Square," said Constance, ignoring all that Sophia had said. There's so much to be done. Then Sophia looked at Constance with a more serious and resolute air, but still kindly, as though looking thus at Constance for Constance's own good. You are making a mistake, Constance," she said, if you will allow me to say so. A mistake, exclaimed Constance, startled. A very great mistake, Sophia insisted, observing that she was creating an effect. I don't see how I can be making a mistake, Constance said, gaining confidence in herself, as she thought the matter over. No, said Sophia. I'm sure you don't see it. But you are.  Instead of the house existing for you, you exist for the house. Oh, Sophia!" Constance murmured awkwardly, what ideas you do have to be sure. In her nervousness she rose and picked up some embroidery, adjusting her spectacles and coughing. When she sat down, she said, No one could take things easier than I do as regards housekeeping. I can assure you I let dozens of little matters go rather than bother myself. Then why do you bother now?" Sophia posed her. I can't leave the place like that. Constance was hurt. There's one thing I can't understand," said Sophia, raising her head and gazing at Constance again, and that is, why you live in St. Luke's Square at all. I must live somewhere, and I'm sure it's very pleasant. In all that smoke, and with all that dirt, and the house is very old. It's a great deal better built than a lot of those new houses by the park," Constance sharply retorted. In spite of herself she resented any criticism of her house. She even resented the obvious truth that he was old. You'll never get a servant to stay in that cellar kitchen for one thing," said Sophia, keeping calm. Oh, I don't know about that, I don't know about that, that Benion woman didn't object to it anyway. It's all very wealthy you, Sophia, to talk like that, but I know bursely perhaps better than you do." She was tart again, and I can assure you that my house is looked upon as a very good house indeed. Oh, I don't say it isn't, I don't say it isn't, but you would be better away from it. Everyone says that. Everyone? Constance looked up, dropping her work. Who? Who's been talking about me? Well, said Sophia, the doctor, for instance. Dr. Sterling, I like that. He's always saying that bursely is one of the healthiest climates in England. He's always sticking up for bursely. Dr. Sterling thinks you ought to go away more, not stay always in that dark house. If Sophia had sufficiently reflected she would not have used the adjective dark. It did not help her cause. Oh, does he? Constance fairly snorted. Well, if it's of any interest to Dr. Sterling, I like my dark house.  Sophia persisted. He may have mentioned it, Constance reluctantly admitted. When he was talking to me he did a good deal more than mention it, and I have a good mind to tell you what he said. Do! said Constance politely. You don't realise how serious it is, I'm afraid. Said Sophia, you can't see yourself. She hesitated a moment. Her blood being stirred by Constance's peculiar inflection of the phrase, my dark house. Her judgment was slightly obscured. She decided to give Constance a fairly full version of the conversation between herself and the doctor. It's a question of your health, she finished. I think it's my duty to talk to you seriously, and I have done. I hope you'll take it as it's meant. Oh, of course, Constance hastened to say, and she thought, it isn't yet three months that we've been together, and she's trying already to get me under her thumb. A pause ensued. Sophia at length said, There's no doubt that both your sciatica and your palpitations are due to nerves, and you let your nerves get into a state because you worry over trifles. A change would do you a tremendous amount of good. It's just what you need. Really, you must admit, Constance, that the idea of living always in a place like St Luke's Square, when you are perfectly free to do what you like and go where you like, you must admit it's rather too much. Constance put her lips together and bent over her embroidery.  Sophia gently entreated. The summer was light-bersly. Black as it is, said Constance, and Sophia was surprised to detect tears in her sister's voice. Now, my dear Constance, she remonstrated. It's no use!" cried Constance, flinging away her work and letting her tears flow suddenly. Her face was distorted.  It's no use. I've got to go back home and look after things. It's no use. Here we are, pitching money about in this place. It's perfectly sinful. Drives, carriages, extras, a shelling a day extra for each dog. I never heard of such goings-on, and I'd sooner be at home. That's it. I'd sooner be at home." This was the first reference that Constance had made for a long time to the question of expense, and incomparably the most violent. It angered Sophia. We will count it that you're here as my guest, said Sophia loftily, if that's how you look at it. Oh, no! said Constance. It isn't the money, I grudge. Oh, no, we won't!" Then her tears were falling thick. Yes, we will, said Sophia coldly. I've only been talking to you for your own good. I—well!—Constance interrupted her despairingly. I wish you wouldn't try to dominere over me. Dominere!—explained Sophia, aghast. Well, Constance, I do think. She got up and went to her bedroom where the dogs were imprisoned. They escaped to the stairs. She was shaking with emotion. This was what came of trying to help other people. Imagine, Constance! Truly Constance was most unjust and quite unlike her usual self. And Sophia encouraged in her breast the feeling of injustice suffered. But a voice kept saying to her, you've made a mess of this, you've not conquered this time, you're beaten. And the situation is unworthy of you, of both of you. Two women of fifty quarrelling like this, it's undignified, you've made a mess of things. And to strangle the voice she did her best to encourage the feeling of injustice suffered. Dominere! Constance was absolutely in the wrong. She had not argued at all.  How difficult and painful it would be the next meeting with Constance after this grievous miscarriage. As she was reflecting thus, the door burst open, and Constance stumbled as it were blindly into the bedroom. She was still weeping, Sophia!  I'm like that. You can't alter me. I'm like that. I'm silly, but it's no use." She made a piteous figure. Sophia was aware of her lump in her throat. It's all right, Constance. It's all right. I quite understand. Don't bother any more. Constance, catching her breath at intervals, raised her wet, worn face, and kissed her. Sophia remembered the very words, you can't alter her, which she had used in remonstrating with Cyril, and now she had been guilty of precisely the same unreason as that with which she had reproached Cyril. She was ashamed, both for herself and for Constance. Assuredly it had not been such a scene as women of their age would want to go through often. It was humiliating. She wished that it could have been blotted out as though it had never happened. Neither of them ever forgot it. They had had a lesson, and particularly Sophia had had a lesson. Having learnt, they left the Rutland amid due ceremonies, and returned to St Luke's Square. End of Book 4, Chapter 3


You've been much in our thoughts these last couple of tough, rough days. Thank you, all right. Constance, you've done the right thing. I hope so, yeah. Tough. We hope so, we hope so. Mr. President, there's a couple of things I just wanted to check with you quickly what we've been doing. Number one, I'll send over a talking paper today that might be about use of background for your visit with Nehru. Last night, it our urging finally, and I haven't got the final language, the UN issued an international appeal for more contributions to help India. That language, you had caused us some problems. As I say, I've got to call into Gilbert to get the final language. We will add to it, which I don't think it has now, and you might want to take this up with Nehru. Something, some kind of procedure whereby nations could report in the UN would announce the additional items and amounts that they might be willing to contribute. So I'll send that language over for you. Number two, I know that you've been thinking and so far about some kind of a sharing formula that would be workable. There may be a question as to whether you might want to talk about that before you see the Indian Prime Minister. In any event, there are two possibilities here that we thought about. I'll put them in to talk to Paper 2 that you may or may not want to review with Nehru. All right, I think that's good. I'm getting awfully skittish on the Indian thing, because I get any contact, a burnt child reds of fire, and any contact I have on it, I'm misunderstood. I'm imbi-implication committed to underwrite the famine, imbi-implication committed to give them 10 million tons, or imbi-implication committed to do it all between now and first of May, or imbi-implication this. Then I get 14 memos from everybody in the government. It starts with bowls, and then it goes to the state, and then it goes to every Indian lever in town, and then it goes to all the Duke of Colomys, and then the agriculture, and then Bob Comer, and then Bundy, and so on and so forth. I don't do it that way. And that makes me immediately, just to save myself, I feel kind of like they're getting ready to rob my bank. I have to put up the bars, and close the doors, and wait until it all dies down, or until I can get it started. Now, what I'm gonna tell Nehru today is very simple.  I'm going to say to him today, just what I said a long time ago, I'm waiting to see what kind of a foreign policy we can have with your people. I just wanna see what, it's not gonna be a one-way deal. I'm not gonna just underwrite the perpetuation of the government of India and the people of India to have them spend all their goddamn time to dedicating themselves to the destruction of the people of the United States, and the government of the United States. Now we're gonna sit down and have a little good free discussion. I'm ready to do it for Shastry. I'm pretty sensitive about your trying to bludgeon me on account of the visit. You were wrong on that, and I don't like it. And you didn't help yourself a damn bit with it. And if you want to go to Russia, nothing I'd welcome more. I just give you a certified check and publicly applaud it, just like I did the cash-can agreement. I'm not the slightest concerned about your, you're getting help from Russia.  This business that the communists might help you a little. Therefore I've got to give you everything I've got that doesn't appeal to me. Now maybe I'm wrong, but if I am wrong, I'm gonna be wrong for three more years, and that's that. We're just gonna need to get into it. Now, I'm waiting for that, it's not my problem. Whenever y'all can come, I won't talk about it, and I won't try to meet you halfway and fairly. I do think you've got a problem, I do think you need help, I do want help. But it's not gonna be a unilateral thing when I do it. When I do it, I'm going to say to the Congress, I think they have a bad situation here, I think these people need help. Now I want the Congress to join me if they agree, because I'm getting enough hell right now trying to keep up a treaty that the Congress passed 81 to one. And reaffirmed by a resolution of 504 to two. I'm catching hell about it right now from the very people who handled it. And I'm gonna make them get out here and tell us what to do in the amount, in dollars, in commodities, in time. And if you want to get 5 million tons, you just better get ready to get to Congress to say we here buy appropriate X dollars for our Y tons to buy Z date. And we understand what we're doing. It's not gonna be one of these under the table transactions.  He can't do it for Canada, and he can't do it for Germany, and he can't do it for Japan, and he can't do it for anybody else, but he can do it for the United States. But if you can't be a drop anywhere in the world, but us, we want to be damn sure, A, the people of the United States know that, and B, the people of India know that. And then we'll let them debate it. They always want to debate up in the Congress, and we'll let them vote on it. And I have no superpowers as an executive, just mash a button and say, here I'm gonna give you $300 million worth of wheat, or $400 million worth of O-10 for that matter. I just, I'm gonna have that approval. And I don't think they're going on that basis at all. I think they just assumed when they walked out of our office because I was courteous, and I don't wanna apologize ever for being courteous, that's all I was to sub-grain him. They just walked out on the assumption that Johnson's gonna give them $10 million. I see our own mission out there. Your people out there, you saw the story written from out there, that it's just kind of soon that we're gonna do that. Now I don't wanna get that stuff around, and for that reason I'm just as shy as a high school girl that's been jilted. I feel very much like a burnt child red as the fire and I'm scared of it. So I want to say to Nehru today, A, I want to see your people very, very much. B, we want to do anything we consistently can to be helpful. C, whatever we do is going to be on a shared basis. Not only with self-help on your part, but with other nations, because we're not the only nation in the world that's compassionate, and we're not the only nation in the world that's got resources. Now we may be the only one that a bunch of cooks that just insist on giving it away and run up and volunteer and rat-rope somebody and knock them over to give it away, but you get busy on these others and then we'll get busy with our Congress and then you come up here and let's let the Congress see what's the rest of it, because they're just giving me hell on Vietnam and I'm just very honestly, I agree with the Liberals. I don't think we ought to be out there by ourselves. I don't think this is just our fight. I think it's Australia's fight. I think it's New Zealand's fight. I think it's Malaysia's fight. I think it's the United Kingdom's fight. I think it's a German's fight. If the Communists take over there, I think it'd take over Berlin. They can. And I think it's everybody's fight, but they're leaving it to us. Now, I think the Indian food problem is 114 nations' fight. And if none of them are interested but us, well, then that's something we got to at least let the Indians know, because the Indians really don't know that. Anybody that treats their president as the Indians treated your president is not a very compassionate, understanding person, because I'm trying to help them. I'm trying to get a bill through Dirksen. I'm trying to get a bill through Passman. I spent two hours and a half with him down here night pull-ast at the end of a very tired day, trying to convince Otto Passman and using George Mayhon and getting George and his manager and his newspaper man and his wives to come down my home to get enough money for India. And when I'm trying to help India, then I'm just getting one denunciation after the other by those folks. Now, that's all right. I'm not gonna be quorum and do the wrong thing because denunciation. But I want to find some way for the people of India to know that the people of the United States are the ones that they have to A, look to, and B, the only ones that respond if they are. Now, we haven't got it in that perspective. When a man comes my office, he says, I think now I'm really honored for you to do a good job now. You better get them out one million tons right quick between now and tomorrow. And if you'll do that right quick, when we'll last for another third day and we'll be back for another million, two times. Well, now that's not, we're not gonna act that well. And what we're gonna do is, as far as I'm concerned, we're not gonna make them all these economic grants and that we've been making. We're not gonna make them these loans.  And if all they got to propose to me is a way for me to deliver some money to them, then I'm not gonna be interested in. I'm interested in their helping us too. Now, how can they help us? What can they do to help us? I don't see any of that in this hard ball of trade. And I want some of it. And I just don't know, I know how they did help me. They said that I was a dirty lowdown so and so because I asked them to wait till I got to Vietnam and my foreign aid bill out of the way because I couldn't commit them a dime.  As Congress got out of here last August when we got my foreign aid bill ready and I said I'm ready any moment and they didn't come, now I would get come. But they just found a lot of reasons why they don't come and I don't know any reason why I was sending a man out there to shovel it on them. So I think it's really, as far as you're concerned, there's two things we have to do. First, we have to quit leaving the impression and I know we don't do it deliberately. I know it's accidental. I know though the Phil Potters and the sympathetic reporters get a sympathetic response from sympathetic bureaucrats and I can understand that and I'm not critical of it. I just don't want it happening. I think we got to say that we just don't know what our future is with India until our two leaders talk. We just can't shoot in the dark. We just have no commitments, whatever. We have no agreements. These agreements ran out and the president cannot go there and he told them and he told me he's ready to receive them whenever they come, we'll have to develop a new agreement. We'll have to negotiate a new agreement. And what we'll do, I've got to pull in somebody else now and say to them, I got I want you to go make a trade for me. And I want to see what you're gonna do for the United States. That's what I'm interested in. Now you're interested in what we're gonna do for India. But I won't see how this balances out on the scale. When I put my wheat down here, it cost me a few hundred million, I won't see what you're putting on the other side.  And I think that what you can do than your group can do is try to evolve, which I'm afraid we haven't given much thought to it and now assuming that the world is a decent world and we got a community chest operation going on, we've got to see what we can expect from the Biggiver's Fund and what we can expect from the doctor's fund and what we can expect from the labor fund and what we expect from the rest of them. And I'd like to see how that is proportionately divided number one, number two. And I'd like to see what it is that we ought to give if it's wheat or fertilizer or something. I'd like to put that down, number two. And the total amounts, number three, I'd like to see on what condition we base that on what she does and on what the rest of the nations do. And number four, I'd like to have a message written to the Congress and a bill introduced and passed, which will be known as the Indian Food Bill or Indian Relief Bill, or for the relief of the Indian nation or something of that kind. And I'd just like for them to take it and go to Foreign Affairs Committee and maybe the Agriculture too and let them have joint sessions and let them have hearings and let them tell why it's needed and go the same thing in the Senate. And then when they get through, I want to put the money in the bail. If they want to appropriate money, or at least I want the record to show that next year they're going to have to add to the commodity credit corporation, $700 million, for this money that we have spent on India. I don't think anybody has any conception that that's what we want to do, do you? No, sir. Well, that's what we do. That's it. I think they felt we could just have kind of a back room to go and shove it out. What, I'm against it. Your timing on the message in the bill is what? Well, I just, the quickest she gets here, I don't know. I don't know when she's coming. I asked her to come. I thought she'd come the latter part of January. There's some indication she's coming the early part of February. I'd like to have it today, but I don't want to send it up till I get some kind of agreement out of them. What are they going to do for the United States? Do you know? No, sir. What do you think we ought to? The one thing, Mr. President, that they can do that I think is the top of your list, it would be on mine, is to get along and work out something with Pakistan. I know that's what you want, and that's not something obvious. I can articulate with them very well for obvious reasons. Only you can do that. Outside of that, President, I'm not sure what they can do to be really frank. We want to help them. There isn't a hell of a lot they can do for us outside of what you've already said. That is to behave themselves in the world. And only you can carry that. Well, what I think we ought to do, I think we ought to get somebody that we can get maybe Arthur Dean's man to figure out. Now, what is it that the 600 people in India, million people in India could do to help the United States? I would think they could help us if they could understand our objectives in the world and our viewpoint and point it.