Well, hello everybody. Welcome to Brain Club. And for, for, I though I know all of you here, I will introduce myself anyway for YouTube video watching purposes for those joining asynchronously. I'm Mel Hauser. I use she they pronouns and I am executive director here at all brains belong for months.  And our topic today is going to be like literally one of my favorite things to talk about because it's like unpacking it is the key to the universe or like one of the many keys to the universe. And this is a topic that we covered at one of our early brain clubs we did this last in March. And hold on, I never do this just speaking of internalized ableism. I never quite know how to like make zoom, not block my screen area, I'll just make my face go away because anyway, that then we covered this in March, which was like a really long time ago in the big scheme of things and like not long ago at all in another way of looking at this. We went when I watched like five seconds of the video and it was really interesting to hear the me of seven or eight more whatever ago months ago, talking about like, well we just started talking about unlearning things here at all brains block We only started like it's just really interesting to think about because like that's all we do at brain club right all we do is like work together to try to unlearn these over rehearsing their old pathways or just kind of think about it really wasn't that long ago. You know that that that that we've been doing this work together. And actually before before without without further deal this will just be ground rules. So tonight you'll hear me and probably many other people using identity first language. And though, you know, I always encourage people to ask language that folks are most comfortable with. You'll hear me use words like autistic, because for me autism is part of my identity. We welcome all forms of participation, you can have your video on or off most of you have figured that out already. And even if your videos on we do not expect anything of you, you know you do certainly do not need to look at the camera. I can't tell you like how often, you know folks on zoom meetings are like oh you know I apologize I'm, you know I'm looking this way I'm doing that like in our culture, we don't even notice that you know just just do what needs doing walk, move, fidget, stem, eat, all the things. However, you're most comfortable on mute, shout it out type in the chat box mix and match. And, as always, safety comes first here so in addition to affirming and respecting all aspects of identity. One of the ways that we protect one another's access needs is to give content warnings, announce topics, if you are planning to share anything that you personally experienced as distressing or traumatic just so that others can listen with informed consent versus choose what they do what they need to do to feel safe like leave the room for a minute, or turn their sound off, and we'll let you know on the topics over. And that's a duplicate slide. Speaking of access needs to turn on closed captioning you can click the depending on your version of zoom, like the live transcript closed captioning button or more dot dot dot and she show subtitles. You could also do the same to choose hide subtitles if you change your mind. No Laura thanks very much.  I think that absolutely. Thank you for that. Because in fact, um, that's what tonight is about. And, and, and, and, you know, related related to to Laura's really helpful comment to prompt me to remind us all that like this, there may be some you know, you know, content or remain the topics all that, even if you're like prepared for the topic. It doesn't mean that you may not have no limbic responses to this, to your own thoughts, even that might come up during this topic and so please take care of yourself. You can leave at any time. And always, always at any of our programs, you can, you can take a break come back. This might just all be too much. This is because for, for, for many of us, these are really loaded and often really painful concepts. So, what are we talking about shame. And for those of you who know Renee Brown. This by the way this image of Renee Brown's book I thought it was just me but it isn't making the journey from what will people think to I am enough. This is one of my favorite books of all time. Renee Brown is a researcher sociology researcher who studies shame and vulnerability. And for me Brown says that that there are really all roads lead to shame shame is this universal emotion of feeling the profoundly painful negative emotional experience of feeling defective broken deficient. And in this book. I very much encourage reading or listening to it, but I will I will summarize it for you in this book. Dr Brown breaks this down into four, four buckets. The first thing is like learning how to recognize shame, because, often, some of our most intense limbic involuntary automatic responses. And we, when we recover and require access to our cortex to really think about the, the, the circumstances that led to these reactions. Almost always this relates to shame. So as soon as we can, or as, as soon as we can recognize shame, meaning it acknowledging it is a powerful way of coping with it. And then she goes on to say, well, step to tell someone, you know, I'm feeling shame. Because when you do that, almost always someone says, Oh, well that reminds me of that time I experienced this or in some other version of me too. And automatically that the secrecy, the perceived aloneness of that painful emotion is diminished, even just a little bit. Again, and these are like the complicated parts. This comes like way later, if you can get to step one, awesome step two, really helpful, but like advanced shame management step three, you know, doing the work of reflection of like why, why did this trigger this sense of shame or this discomfort from. And the bigger picture of you the zoomed out view how was I set up by my culture by my environment to be triggered by this thing. And I'm going to, I'm going to play a video I played this when we did this in March but I played this or some of our patients too and I will be interested to hear what what if if any of this resonates. I never do the thing where I click the share the sound button. Here we go. One, take a shower. You don't want to smell to pick out an outfit that will fit with the latest trends and won't make you the laughing stock of the school, more than you already are free. Put on some makeup so you can actually show your face in public and be a little bit pretty.   Four, don't forget to style your hair and elegant curls.  Five, shove your fat feet into those toe pitching blood blistering converse that everyone at school is wearing and you cannot be the odd one out. As you gaze into the bathroom mirror you see a stranger that somehow stole your reflection and replaced it with the completely different girl. Every part of your outfit is uncomfortable but even though you spend hours trying to look pretty you will never be as good as those other girls at school.  You can't let anyone else know that you feel otherwise they will never respect you the same way they used to. Or did they ever? Why am I not good enough? Beauty is pain. Six, get off the bus. Seven, find a group of people you can walk to class with because heaven knows you can't just walk alone. But you don't even like these people.   I'm curious. Anybody connect with any of that? Any chapter of your life past or present? Mel, I have a thought. Yeah. In the past few months I've been going through some struggles and it's been a help because it's allowed me to spend a lot of time thinking about my life and the fact that my learning disability wasn't diagnosed until I was 40. And so the main thing that I came up with and it's a strength based reframe of a struggle, you know, across my life. My life has been, had been filled with all of these moments where people asked me questions like why can't you learn? Why can't you do this? You've done this wrong. Why didn't you do this? And just maybe in the past day or so the idea hit me. It wasn't that I didn't or was unable to. It was because I couldn't. Because I didn't have the right kind of help. And what that has done for me has opened up a really deep well of empathy for that kid who worked so hard and struggled so much because I didn't know to ask for help. And people didn't know what I needed help with. And now as a 50 year old, 51 year old, the thing that I have, that I'm most proud of is that I'm becoming much better at asking for help. And so with the empathy for the child and the strength, Brene Brown talks about bravery not existing without vulnerability and the bravery it takes to ask for help in the normative world. I have in a way come home to myself and found strength that I didn't know existed, but always has. And it's really helped me reframe my moments moving through my day and, and, you know, all of this thinking started with you mentioning the term access needs, where I started to be able to form language around around how I could ask for help. So, you know, yeah, so that's my, that's my idea what it's not that we can't, it's that we couldn't. Oh, that is so powerful on Laura sharing in the chat. I agree. You know, this, this is so common right so like when little kids come up in the world.  Why can't you do that thing. As though there's one correct way to do that thing.  And then like, we think was going to happen reading in the chat. Kelly saying once I considered things as access needs it gave me permission to explain my needs. Yes, yes. And, and, and thinking about you know anytime, you know we put the onus on the person to come up with their own accommodations for their access needs. That's not right. That's ableism. Like, things should just be offered in multiple different ways. Speaking of ableism, I'm going to play one more video. Because when I looked back to the last time we tackled this at brain club. I just, I think with with our, our grown village here. It'll, it'll be saying I know some of you are here tonight, we're here the last time, but it's really interesting to see the lens, very curious for your responses. And so, I think in the chat. Laura saying this all resonates with me to in different ways my experience as a kid, wanting to fit in and even being willing to change myself to do so, but not being able to fit in even when trying to change a lot of myself and then finally learning to embrace who I was, because I didn't seem to have much of an alternative, but I think I was lucky to have the resources to embrace myself. Oh, ultimately. Yeah, Matthews agreeing to Kelly saying I put myself in scary situation. I'm in scary situations trying to fit in. I have such a hard time reading people to even know what they wanted for me. Oh yeah. Yeah. Thank you all for sharing. Yeah. Here we go. It's an everyday language. The actions in everyday language the simple assumptions that are made about how like well everyone does this this way or everyone can do that or that's so easy. You think about how many times subtle privilege infuses into everyday life that is going to contribute to a narrative of brokenness. So how could it not when when we as kids don't know that the way we fundamentally like intuitively inherently are is a thing. We're going to make up a narrative. We're going to reinforce it reinforce it reinforce it and now here we are as adults trying to online that. And it's hard though it's hard though because it's so hardwired and especially when we're dysregulated we're going to default to those hardwired beliefs that narrative we came up with in childhood. So if you have this lens of just like recognizing it, it's the opportunity to like view your own everyday interactions differently. And I'll give some examples in a minute. Because that internalized ableism that fundamental belief of not being good enough being defective being broken. How is that not going to impact. You know not just self concept self esteem but like all the interpersonal relationships personal and professional, all of these interactions, and at least being able to zoom out and say, Oh, what's the story I'm telling myself. Where did it come from. And is it ableism. This is the story. I know guys if you can see this picture. This is me with chocolate syrup all over my coach and my pants and I used to have been wearing a dress I was on my way to work the other day, and I stopped at a restaurant to pick up some take out. I am dyspraxic, and I know that motor coordination when I'm stressed and running around and rushing and carrying things like I mean, it's going to take more brainpower that I did not have available so when I pick up the take out. I said hey, can I have a bag. You know what she says she says.  So, when I tell the story like obviously, I can name the thing, but in the moment me, even though I'm someone who has been with us all the day, I say, Oh yeah, I should be able to carry that. So I carry the thing. And I'm holding the bag and I'm holding the box and I'm holding the keys and like, what do you think happens. I am covered in sauce.   I'm in a child last week, who told me. Dr. Mel. I'm bad.   What do you mean I mean she probably just dysregulated every dysregulated it's all it's just right. No, it's me. She yells at me. She yells at me because I'm running around all the time and I can't stop moving. I say, Oh, sweet little love.  You have a kind of brain that actually when you're moving your little internal GPS in your ear actually processes auditory information better. Oh, you sweet little love you have figured out how to attend and regulate and learn. And he says, she gave me a frowny face for the day. What do you mean frowny face. Well, I get a happy face when I'm good for the day and a frowny face when I'm bad. What does it mean to be good and bad. And he says, Well, when I flip my lid. I get a frowny face.  Oh, sorry, the, I forgot this detail. Recess was taken away, because the work was not done, got to skip recess to do the work, you know the work that wasn't able to be done because the movement was inhibited and prevented and prohibited. You didn't do the work because the environment would not allow you to do the work in your way, and then punished by taking away the very thing that your brain needed.  And then you're told they were bad.  When we tell sweet little loves that the way that we are intuitively feeling in our bodies is wrong. Because there's a just so way to be. What do we expect is going to happen. You know that's such a touching story and I feel it's, it's so it's so sad because it's tempting the potential of so many amazing people.   That is not stressing anybody else you know so that they don't have to take care of themselves. It just really saddens me. And I'm working with some students at UVM you know that I can I see coming in my office and talking to them and I hear them repeat those negative stories to themselves. And I always write on the board when we talk and that that there's one student says oh it's so helpful seeing it written because I can see how it's not really me you know how it comes from outside. And so I just do that when the person talk I just kind of light on the board. And it's like, okay. And after it's let out and can move on but yeah that internalized ableism is like a big deal is that shared with me one time the picture of, or this idea of lifting yourself by your bootstrap. I never, I never realized that's something we hear all the time that's it's actually something that's impossible. And then it used to be to bring attention to something that was not possible and somehow we twisted it around to become this like wonderful thing was driving to do. I mean nobody can pull themselves up by their bootstrap see there's no like counter pressure right you can't lift yourself out of the mud you need like that.  So I think there's a lot of work to do with parents, future parents so they from the start you know, don't keep breathing that internalized chain. Right, but the tricky thing and thank you for all of that Lillian. The tricky part is this. One is most people with disabilities don't know they have disabilities. So you are given the message, you don't know you have needs. You're not doing the thing that's a lie. And so we become parents to maybe, and we have that internalized ableism, and we still don't know we have disabilities maybe, and we pass about that I mean we passed that and it's the intergenerational expectations, and that internalized and gets passed down so many parents that are really attached to the idea of being able to do the thing that comes from a place of being shamed for not being able to do the thing. And it's, it's, it's, it's like going to zoom way out and like we all the entire thing. Because it's not a matter I don't think it's a matter of like education, it's about you have like someone's gotta become self aware, and, and, and regulated and safe enough to take a look at their own self narrative. Remember we even have a chance at, at interrupting that cycle, as Laura said it's so much more core to the cell, because like, I, I like truly believe there's not one right to do the thing, but you know what happened today.  It came out from my upstairs brain it came from a downstairs brain.  And then we shame ourselves and we're more dysregulated and we still don't have access to our cortex and it just goes on and on and on. And I think the difference is of just like, this is going to happen. It's going to happen and it's just transparency is the way out of chaos. When my son was really young and like all of the in home interventions were happening. I thought it was great that he could take my hand and leave me over to where the cups were and pick out his cup and then take me by the hand and leave me over in the fridge and have me open the fridge and point to the drink that he wanted like, hey, that's awesome you wanted you know a drink you wanted and I thought that was like, wonderful. And then they were telling me well no, no, he needs to be able to verbalize that that he needs this drink so you know until he uses the sign for milk, or the word for milk you know you don't you don't get him the and I think my husband I lasted two days before we're like, this is an excuse my language shit show every single time this kid has a want that he's telling us what he wants and we're saying no you're not telling us how we want you to tell us and we're like why does he want override his need, like, because that's what it was was this, this narrative of this is where you live so this is how you communicate. And I was so I'm so frustrated and disappointed in myself when I think back of those early years because it was all stuff that I intuitively bucked up against because it was my own neurology that they were like insulting with these interventions.    And that's when we really started being like nope our kid is going to be authentically himself and these are the sports are going to go around that happening and we became those parents overnight. And we joke that there was an email going around the district about us to warn other teachers that we were on our way and we were coming with with pitchforks. And I'm not going to go on a tangented way off but narratives are are awful when they're harmful and so many of them are. Yes.   And the therapist would say, well crying in therapy is is normal. And I'm like, and like, again, same, same, very similar to Kelly like in my my limbic systems like no unsafe bucket but like I didn't know I got to have opinions about this anyway like it took me a couple weeks, you know, it was just on the order of weeks before like, you know, I allowed myself to like parent intuitively to be like, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, we're not coming here anymore.  Like it is taken for granted that like the sweet little loves have to have a traumatic vaccine experience that is a brain rule like that's our kids.  It's not normal and it's not okay. I'm just messing up in the chat. Jose saying learning to trust one's own body and system is such an important part. Right. And you know I think trauma physiology breaks that down. Right, so, so the brain body disconnect that happens from being invalidated. And not having your bodily autonomy respect there's all these things that go on that makes it really difficult to trust one's own body. Hi Judith. Hi. So, last year, no year and a half ago I learned that my daughter is autistic. And I always winches little follow her lead like she did really she loved preschool that was fine and highly social and highly interactive and very chatty and super friendly and really like set boundaries for herself I was like really proud of her even when a kid bit her she was like, we don't bite people like she was just so on it. Such a sweet person from the time she was born. And, but as she went on she struggled with the classroom sizes as classrooms got bigger and I just thought well she would say it's loud and I was like okay some people just have more, you know, better hearing. And so it just went on and on I just and she had really good taste in food like everything was like really specific. So I just she actually made me a better cook. After a while, I got a lot of feedback from the teacher saying that she's too sensitive and I was like well, she's actually really aware of people's underlying qualities. I was like that and then I reread the diagnosis, and I just, I cried because I sent my mom. And we, we all have same learning disabilities like with math and dyslexia. But over the years I just kept getting told that she was difficult. And I started to internalize some of that. And I know that I'm kind of spacey and forgetful and I tend myself tested and I didn't come out but I also wonder like, what are they testing for. But then I tried to back off on telling her social rules, because it would hurt her coming to me and then. But then if I didn't say it she would run into a problem and now she just is so angry with me, because I'm like telling her all the things all the time trying to help her avoid more pain. And my mom was never able to get a job or anything and she ended up destitute. So, I really, really worry about like her future like, is she going to be able to drive or right now I have she applied for a job and she won't do the follow up because of anxiety, and I've been trying to encourage her and giving her the lines like, Hey, this is how you follow up you were great like, and she gets angry with me for pushing her. And I feel like I have become able as where I wasn't, but then I'm like, where is that line where you help. And don't want to end up like my mother or in this too. It's just I'm terrified. I think she's got such a great personality and so intelligent but she doesn't. I can, I know she doesn't think I think highly of her anymore because I try to teach her things and I didn't subject her to the ABA. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're here. I'm so glad you're here. There were as you were speaking so many people were flashing their heart to motor cons and typing things in the chat. I hear you and and and the comments that your love is beautiful the witness. So here's the deal. I'm just going to be okay, because the way that you might hear me as an autistic 37 year old reflect on being a kid and being told that like, you know you got to do the thing. But still, no one's aware about that message being unhelpful the fact that you're like, you're like, oh well I gave this message because of this and I'm aware of my fear of my mom like you have so much more self awareness than like, like so many people and so so this is going to be okay. I think that your instincts about about the response to pressure or whatever the, you know, the, I don't know exactly the word I don't remember the word you use but I think that your intuitions as a, as a mama are so important right. So, I think, and I have the kind I have a I have an autistic child also, and there's so many things right that like now with self awareness I like really wanted to go differently and I'm like afraid of things not like going away that it happened for me or worse and like all of that and and when when I come from a place of fear like how could you not feel this way like how could you not like you're not going to not be afraid you're not going to not love your child you're not going to not want this to go well for you just not. And there are many people that when we want them to do the thing. That like many people who are like porous to energy they take in all that all all the energy can feel the vibe like they're walking to tell you know like, so it becomes, it feels unsafe when someone wants us to do the thing, even when the thing is helpful. And so I think, and like, I'm still working on this I work on this every day. I'm working on like, and I'll send you I'll send you a recording of a couple of brain clubs ago. Maybe it was. I can early October. We had an episode on creating a culture of safety at home. And we so so is and we had a pre recorded conversation between me and one of the members of our board of directors who's an occupational therapist. And we both have, we both have five year olds who anytime you want them to do the thing. So anyway, conversation about like, how do you queue safety for nervous systems like that. And basically what it was like, you know, and I think that what what what we came up with as a as a collective village here is you know whether you are self regulating bottom up like being in a body and like figuring out what we what you need to do to feel calm like I don't know like when I'm just regular I can't I can't be bothered with that like I don't I got too much for anybody disconnect but like I could be the top down thing. So for me. I have to remind myself that safety comes first, the relationship comes first. And so I could want to protect her from this that are the other thing social relationship. I have to pick literally all I can do is remember to not tell her what to do. And I, I cannot remember that, because I always want to do the thing and I always want to do the thing and I want to protect her from the things. I have to pick. Sometimes I literally make signs on the wall that remind myself the relationship comes first. It's so hard right it's so hard and I'm seeing a whole bunch of stuff in the chat about just wanting to help and offer care is love and just letting know you're there goes a long way and listening. Right. Yeah.  Of course, you know, that's what she thought was helpful. And with the lens of retrospection is I'm like, all the things make sense. And it's not too late, like the repair of of ruptures, like, there's still going on, you know, like this this relationship's going on it's here. And I think just like lowering the demand of, of, of just all Oh yeah, all right and so I'm Elizabeth has in the chat.  So just about like, how do you, how do you, how do you do this? How do you create that culture of safety? And, and Nita's adding in the chat, don't forget your mother most likely didn't have support of someone as aware as you absolutely could not agree more. Your work to learn how to support her will make a difference even if she can't take your input at this point there's so much room for her to grow when she finds her comfort zone but it's going to be on her own timeline and that's she can't control but often, you know, often want to and can't control. It's just, and Jose sharing softening softening the cycle. Yeah, so it's some it's, it's, it's, it's a process but like you know I think that, you know, the community, you know, for ourselves as parents is part of our own co regulation experience of like, yeah, like, yeah, I, that that dynamic you just described that is my house like often. So, so it's, I'm so glad you're here. Thank you. So much of what you described like, you know, resin resonates with me and I know resonates so many people because we talk about this all the time. And so it's just like you know you can't. You, you all, all you can do is form, form, you know, form, form community and I hope you do that here. And I think that for our kids. I think so much of this is about finding the people that you can show up authentically with. And when you don't have that, then you. That's when you need those, you know, like codes, which follow the goal would be that that's not your main social.  I've been like, you know, faking speaking neurotypical for 37 years like I like I like it, but it's a second language. But like the idea that if, if our kids can form relationships with people who love what they love.  Yeah, we did the first time we did a. We have a kid connections program where we connect kids with kids who love what they love but the first time we did a group of that. Last fall for two and a half months we did a Pokemon group. This is like a. Anyway, I don't know anything about Pokemon but here I was like, you know, in between patients like running a Pokemon group on zoom with kids, each eight to 10.  They just were in the space with the thing that they love and the dopamine flowed and, and it was like, that's how it's supposed to go. It's just that most of the time it doesn't go that way. And it's not until it goes that way, when you when someone has the experience of safely showing up and feeling safe, like feeling safe and authentic. Then you can recognize the environments that aren't that way, but until you have, you can't really discern, you know, safe or not safe and I think that is the way out of this cycle of you know intergenerational internalized ableism is that like you know how I had like an authentic social experience I probably would have recognized all the inauthentic social experiences. Mm hmm. Thank you. Thank you everyone to I think this is really helpful you said this thing and I think people are flashing things about co regulation and. You know it's, it has felt like when I would say something at times, it was traumatizing to her even if it was said gently and I was like, what is this why is there trauma I kept wondering did someone harm her when she wasn't in my care you know and I kept, I would think she was verbal, you know, try her you safe as anyone ever you know. And so, no, no, no, because I was really really careful and we got lucky and. But it is I think there's a piece about how can I identify and create safety before I make a statement and really tuning into what is she meeting. at that moment which is ever changing for all of us right like at every stage every every week even for all of us. So, thank you. You're welcome. And I think for so I'm reading in the chat Stacy says we can raise children who can navigate that hardship without compromising their own needs and vulnerability. Right and they the way we do that is is is is queuing safety. Right that's, that's all we can do. Lillian saying in the chat my daughter would always say mom just listen don't try to don't try to find solutions, her hurt was so hard for me to hold. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious for, for, for anyone, anyone in the group, you know, because I think this like hypersensitivity to energy demand thing I bet that is well represented here. Both I, you know, personally, and or as a parent.  Hi. You know the challenge that I've had the past couple weeks I've been supposed to go to this conference that is in a different state and I like there was like planes involved. And it was like sending me into complete overdrive like I genuinely feel bad for my husband right now because he has had to live with me in this very elevated frantic state. I mean, making dinner tonight putting things away I put the avocado, the cut avocado in the cupboard, the bag of peppers on the dining room table in the other room, and the tortillas just on the counter by the stove because that's apparently where all of those things are going to be put in the microwave and then I had to basically go around and gather dinner leftovers and put them away for realsies, but so I kept trying to like find accommodations for this conference like okay, I'm not flying there's no way it's going to happen. I will drive there. Okay. I hate driving like because for a long time because the distractions just become too much and it becomes very energy sucking to drive. My husband was like, Hey, your parents live by nearby will pack up the kids will take the week and will drive there and so I was like, Oh, well that's something like I'll have my family so I won't be worrying about my kids I won't be worrying about the husband. I've slept at my parents house before I've been there so I'll be in a place I know like will bring all of the same foods like will be good like this is a plan. But then I was like crap, I'm going to actually have to leave my parents house to go to this conference like that's that's the actual thing is going to the conference.  And I just kept getting told, don't worry, you're just going to jump right in and have a fun time you're going to have a blast and I'm like sobbing at the other end of this email being like, And it made me just very much connect with the day we pulled our son out of public school to homeschool him. I made the realization, all of his time, all of his goals, all of his supports were spent on helping him tolerate being in the environment, none of it was learning none of it was curriculum none of it was anything I was in realization there was nothing but learn how to be in this space without freaking out and leaving the building and climbing a tree like that's nothing like and I realized that that would be me at this conference that would be me it would be me trying to tolerate this all this dead time or they're like, Oh, you just have two hours to go to lunch somewhere like I've never been in this place how am I supposed to go get lunch, where I'm going to find food that I'm going to eat like, are you kidding me right now I'm going to die in DC on the sidewalk like that was essentially my end scenario in every single thing. And so finally I like five days before the conference was like, I'm not going. And then I got all angry that they didn't plan for those people in this group that weren't going so only those going have an assignment that week and I'm like, Well, where's my access to this curriculum like how am I supposed to be learning if I'm not accessing this conference and you know got the. Oh, yeah, we'll have to pull something together and I'm like, Oh, once again fit in at the last minute instead of being freaking thought of with the rest of the people. And I think that's where a lot of my internalized able as a man Shane comes from is I'm always trying so hard to keep up with the rest of the people and he is so frustrated when I'm not thought of when I have no regard being put back toward me when all I'm is regarding everybody around me so I can just try to keep up with them, and nobody tries to keep anybody up with people and it's just, it blows me away sometimes how people just think that you can dive in and have fun is my end sentence. And it messages sent. This is, you know, everyone's doing the thing, you're not doing the thing like so you know how could we possibly be surprised when, but like me anyway I actually Sarah says it a lot better than I do she's going to chat. I feel a lot of times that when someone tries to share their access needs, they're told by those in power. Don't worry. Yeah, and yeah, exactly so it's just that it's it's you know. It's it's it's just, it's invalidation. It is, you know, like, as though there's one correct threshold by which something should be worrisome or not, like, who are you to tell me what is unsafe. Yeah, you know, like this, this is. Yeah. So I think that you know these are the conversations that are are going to allow this next generation to grow up in a world's where that we actually the cheese and it's hard. And it's not just like, oh yeah, I know about it. Like, that like ends the, you know, the long standing intergenerational cycle, but I do think you're coming. And yeah, and being, you know, being told don't worry over and over and over and over leads to shame, unless it can be sure what others in team that's so well said Sarah. And, and Lillian's adding to that you know don't try to meet your needs you're asking too much you're a burden and then we back up and try to do everything by ourselves without asking for help. Right, because you shouldn't have to ask for help because you should just be able to do the thing that is, those are the messages and so I think just being aware that like, we grew up with these messages, we are going to predictably default to them when we're isolated, it's like a completely predictable enterprise. And so just, yeah, how could we not, you know those pathways you lay down, you know, in early childhood, you know, like before the age of eight, like those are the ones that they're there, we're always going to default to them. And Travis is giving a great example telling a crying child it's okay. You know it's not the tears and the crying or the absolute and the only proof that it is indeed not okay. Yes. Yes. All that.  Yeah, so gross. They agree. Yeah, you're okay. Great. And I can tell you that as a parent, when I buy that. When I am dysregulated, you know, and I'm like trying to sue like what comes out it's the stuff that was told to me to try to sue me that didn't suit me like it just comes out it just. Yeah, well as Laura said I'm that parent who says these things without thinking no way because upstairs brain did not like way out you know should I say that terrible thing or not say that terrible thing this is downstairs brain it's automatic speech. It just comes out it's you know it's it's those over her pathways. So, some levels it seems like ableism is almost synonymous with invalidation. You know, you're fine. You can do this. I don't need to help you help yourself. Yeah, and you think about you know you know like think about how the that that is trained right so you know like all all that you know like that. That's what goes on I know it's it's and we talk a lot here about. You know the, the, the over glorified independence thing, whereas like interdependence like the idea of being connected and rely on other people like there's nothing wrong with that that's the goal the goal is to be interdependent, you know, with with other humans or like these are relations it's a point of having relationships. It's like part of being healthy. Laura says that I said the other day that one way to detect someone in downstairs brain mode is when they start using those scripted phrases and repeat the phrases we hear from them a lot oh yeah. Yeah, that's a. That's what goes on. Yes. Well, I, I'm so grateful to all of you for for for being here and you know being part of one another's journeys of like doing all of this really hard on learning, and we'll just keep practicing. And I hope to see you next week, where we are going to be discussing low demand lifestyle, the idea of letting go of of of these expectations these demands with applications for ourselves our relationships. So parenthood like all kinds of applications of this, and, or it's a, and I look forward to seeing you then have a good week. Oh, and by the way, next Tuesday is our actual birthday, it's a bbs one year birthday next Tuesday. And I look forward to seeing you on birthday day. Bye.


Patients with progressive fibres in interstitial lung disease, PFILD, experience a variety of symptoms and impairments which affect their quality of life. These include shortness of breath on exertion, fatigue, and cough, as well as physical limitations such as difficulty performing activities of daily living and emotional distress. Existing patient reported outcome measures, PROMs, need further modification and validation before they can be used in clinical trials to measure the effectiveness of treatments for PFILD. This article was authored by Marlies Wiesenbeek, Maria Molina Molina, Olivier Chassany, and others.


What is going on guys welcome back to channel critical older here It's time I scream six in this video here again today talk about Dewey Riley and his Potential return how he can be factored in this is going off mostly just David Arquette's recent comments as it pertains to an interview He did with Empire not too long ago so I do want to just jump in jump on right into it because I've been seeing just a lot of stuff going on when it pertains to Do we having David having something different compared to what I know was said by radio silence a few months ago And now apparently something something different all together stated on the commentary for the film So just to jump right on into it talking about Dewey's death from screen five really quick when speaking to Empire Dewey David Arquette has stated they had not given me a heads up So I was like mine stumbling up through the script Wow Dewey's got some good stuff to play this time and then oh that's why I had to put Put it down. I had to walk around kind of process it I understood where they were coming from as far as gutting their audience It was hard. It's been such an ongoing film series throughout my life 25 years in my life So it definitely cut deep. He then went on to continue to talk about how he did the scene He washed off the blood afterward how he kind of going to a zen space because he was of course angry about the fact He was betraying Dewey for the final time and then he kind of made some comments about how Wes affected all of them and how radio silence were the new ghost faces But then he read himself He said no, you know what guy and Jamie are the new ghost face because they're the ones who wrote this this new movie Now I've been seeing what people have been saying about this new interview and I just want to say this We don't actually know what his demeanor was when he was saying this going off of some of the videos I see if David Arquette and how he's been promoting this movie He seems to be someone who's very bubbly all the time when it relates to how he was being presented in a lot of these Interviews so if there's ever an actual I don't know how this video was or how this interview was conducted with Empire But I don't think that we should instantly get into a headspace that David Arquette is is mad when he's saying these things He's so hate. He's he's got all this pence of anger and aggression towards radio silence I don't think that's what it is. Could it be sure, but I don't think that's what it is by just reading words I think you can put yourself in that mindset to think that if you're someone who wants to just be closed minded on How Dewey Riley's death was actually necessary as it pertains to the script They were given to work with and the certain progressions They decided to take as it pertains to certain characters and their lives and where they were in life And how one particular important character made it very clear. She was not coming back to Woodsboro She had no intention of setting foot in town and Then just to jump to something else really quick what I don't understand there is that He says that he was not giving a heads up, but then a few months ago During an interview with fandom When asked about the death were they talking to radio silence, and I'll leave a link to both of these interviews One of them stated because I don't recall really if this was Matt or Tyler But one of them stated are we really going to be this crazy and actually kill Dewey?    So then What they end up saying is that Dewey's death? It just felt like on a story level we have to have it because it's what brings Sydney back And it's the emotional engine of the entire second half of the movie It just does so much for the story in the structure of the actual movie and then on a larger level It does a lot of what the Drew Barrymore scene did yada yada yada So just to cut that short The thing they went on to say is that they had a conversation with David and that the producer one of the producers Scott Or William Sharac our producer teed it up when they sent the script to David like listen He dies in here. We don't want this to be a surprise We want you guys to know that going into it there it is and our first conversation with David David understood that he got it He loved the script and he was like I don't want Dewey to die But I understand why he has to die that sucks, but I'm in so David himself has also stated in interviews not saying that this couldn't be him just putting on for the cameras He stated that he is he understood where they were coming from He did make it clear at times without spoiling that there were some things he had a problem with But at the end of the day, he still agreed to do it My point here with this is that when it comes to the character of Dewey his death was not unnecessary It was not meaningless it actually served a purpose in relation to bigger things that happened as a result of his death His death is not meaningless when comparing it to other characters deaths like Rachel from Halloween 5 her death had adds No value to the overall film Dewey's death adds value to the film. It's honored People actually take time to respect the character and what he had brought to the fold for the flash for movies We see people mourn him. We see people go out and get justice for him. His death adds weight to the narrative It is the target or the the motivation behind what brings Sydney Prescott back His death was not meaningless You can think it's meaningless from the basis of just not wanting to see how important it actually was to the overall narrative But it wasn't meaningless. The other thing I just wanted to talk about also was that David Arquette was joking in that interview as well About being in a multi-verse Dewey Wiley showing up and you know just the idea of being in screen six The only way this character is coming back at this point is by flashbacks or other hallucinations With relates to Gale Weathers if it's actually a Gale Weathers centric Narrative where we can learn about their time in New York and some other things that might deal with a ghost Fist killer that has a motivation tied to Dewey and Gales with time in New York or something like that And how they played a factor and then breaking up maybe But yeah, the two different scenarios that or the two different things that have been stated from radio silence and David Arquette It's like okay Well, who who is telling the truth the other thing I need to point out is that while he's saying he wasn't giving a heads up And they are saying that they are I don't think that that also means that that means that this man signed the dotted line And then read his script. No, no, no, no I believe wholeheartedly that David Arquette read the script for screen five had some gripes with it Talk to them about these gripes Understood where they were coming from like he said and he agreed to still do the movie and then he signed the dotted line despite him Not necessarily agreeing with at first about Dewey dying and not necessarily thinking that was what he would prefer to do He understood where they were coming from and still want to help these two Filmmakers make their movie. He understood the narrative. He understood why it had to be done He read the whole script and then agreed to do the movie if he didn't want to do the movie He had the opportunity to not do it right there And even then if he had signed on prior to reading it There are still things that could have led to him just ultimately not doing it He is still the one who decided to do this his death in the movie is far more important than a lot of people are giving it credit his death at so much weight to the Progression of certain characters in the film it adds another cushion under this bond That's been developing between Sydney and Gale and I feel like just a lot of people are overlooking How important that character's death was and I think it's so Kind of disrespectful in a way to undermine what his death does it wasn't useless It wasn't unnecessary and it was not rude if anything. Okay, okay, maybe it could have been done better Okay, I'll give you that but other than that I just wanted to come on here and talk about all this stuff I've been seeing with David Arquette because I don't know who to believe anymore But let me know what you think about this down in the comment section below if you haven't already make sure you subscribe turn on Postification and there's a video in the description. I've links in my social media accounts on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram You can message me there of course to limiters any movies and news or reviews you'd like me to cover in the future I don't mind guys. I will see you in the next video


And then you don't even want to talk about the freaks that linebacker in the middle. So it's like it's hard. I mean, every game is going to be hard. That's what this is. I mean, we're the cream of the crop when it comes to football, and you got to approach it that way. So, I mean, really, and truth is being out here in the elements and doing what we do, you try to work as hard as you can to give yourself a chance, because you know as well as I do, you've probably been watching football for a long time. I mean, anything can happen on a Sunday. You just want to try to give yourself the best chance. Yeah. When you say fit in, I mean, at the end of the day, that's going to be me. I don't really try to step on people's toes. I don't really try to do too much. A lot of guys probably say, wow, Lamb's kind of quiet. But like for me in a way, like I feel the room, I feel the presence, I feel how guys are. You know, when I first got to Cleveland, not to, you know, go back to it. But I mean, it was the same thing. I mean, even when I was in Houston, you know, I have to learn everyone.  Like you're going to see my personality, but at the same time, I mean, there's more things to do. I'm learning.  So learning all this stuff, learning these terminologies, learning my teammates. I mean, that's what I'm trying to do. And then, of course, if you see a little bit of personality, if you see a smile, a little joke here, you get that. But I mean, first and foremost, you got to learn it. So, oh, I mean, it's great. I mean, Taylor, Ben, I've played with Ben in Houston before, been with DQ in Houston. I'm known Nate Davis for Charlotte. I'm born and raised in Charlotte, North Carolina. So I've run into Nate a few times. They're great guys. And I mean, they really and truly helped me along. Roger's a great guy. Really, our whole room from top to bottom, even the young dudes, I mean, they're great guys. So it's like when you have that, and then you start to mesh out here and you put it on the field, I mean, you have the ingredients in my opinion to be a very good old line. But that takes time. And we'll see when it comes. I mean, Luan's Luan, at the end of the day, which I have a lot of respect for. I mean, that's the OG in the room. Like Ben, Roger, Luan, I mean, that's their room in a way. Now, I know it's our room. But I mean, those are the OGs in there. So I just kind of go in there and learn their ways and, you know, fit as I can.  You know, I've played swing. I've had a going at a pinch at right, going at a pinch at left, fourth year in Houston, somebody got hurt. I had to play right the rest of the season.    Like, that's just what it is.  And you know, for me, we've got a long camp ahead. So whatever comes, whatever spot I get, whatever role I, you know, I define now, it'll come. But I don't necessarily, you know, try to put too much on the plate. I mean, right now I'm going to be focused on talking to y'all as soon as I go in there taking the night then going to get in the cold tub and keeping it moving. So just being frank with you. I mean, that's how I approach things. So yes, sir.  Like, I mean, let's not kid. Like you play the game. I don't think anybody ever played football not the one to start. I mean, since I was eight years old, I wanted to start. But at the same time, am I going to sit here and focus on that in the back of my mind possibly? But I mean, I have period 10, period 11, period 12, and we've got 30 days. Or I don't even look at the days to be honest. What is it Thursday, Friday, Saturday? It's every day is the same day here. So it's like, I don't really focus on that. Like I said, I'm about to go use the restroom, get in the cold tub, and keep it moving. That's all I really worry about. I mean, I'll say this, you know, I caught a pass in Houston my first year as a rookie. You know, I don't really speak about the pass last year, but I caught a pass last year. And I mean, if it comes or comes, you know, I played heavy tight end.  You'll blink, you'll be in year seven, eight, nine, 10. And I mean, that's what I try to do. So if you want to throw me a pass, if you want me to go out and, you know, motion out, I've done that before too. In Houston, I mean, whatever you ask, I try to do. So yes, sir.


بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم والصلاة والسلام على سيدنا محمد وآل بيته طيبين الطاهرين بس بي أخونكم ورسبة لكم ورحمة لكم ورحمة لكم بشيعة كالندر معي علي معاش today is the 18th of Rajab it is a sad event as we send our condolences to the Imam of our time المهدي المنتظر بس بي أخونهم on the remembrance of the passing of the son of the messenger of Allah peace be upon him and his family ابراهيم ابن محمد peace be upon him the coinciding event that also falls on this day is the day on which the tyrant يزيد ابن معاوية grasped usurped, caliphate and took rule we will focus on the important event by shedding light on Ibrahim the son of the apostle of Allah peace be upon him and his family the apostle of Allah on the sixth year after Hijrah announced and began to propagate his divine prophetic message to the world inviting all of creation to the religion of submission the religion of Islam thus he began sending a group of Muslims as his ambassadors to the various rulers and kings around the vast continents he wrote a letter to each of them and invited them to Islam and announced to them the ruling associated with those who submit to Islam of the various points that was mentioned in the letter the one who submits to the divine message will be safe, protected at taking care of by the Islamic authority the content of all letters somewhat contained the same message he sent the likes of حط ابن أبي بلتع to Egypt to deliver the letter to the ruler of Alexandria المقاوقس when the ruler of Alexandria read the letter he took it with respect and stamped it and gave it to his maid to take care of it he replied to it with all respect and he sent it with the messenger along with the gift he the ruler of Alexandria knew that Muhammad is a prophet to be respected so he wanted to retain the favor he sent maidens as gifts to the apostle of Allah and that maiden was Maria the Coptic القبطية and her sister Serene and also a bond woman named Jaria to be servant to the maiden however it is important to note that although the ruler of Alexandria responded with respect he never did convert to Islam Maria or can be uttered as Mary or Maryam was from Hafen in a region located in Al-Zaqa she was not a Muslim at the time but she belonged to Ahl al-Kitab people of the book thus the prophet accepted the gift of المقاوقس Maria who is known to be from the daughters of the Simon by historians is reported to have converted to Islam by the apostle of Allah the prophet peace be upon him and his family chose her as his own wife and as for her sister Serene he gifted her to his poet Hassan ibn Thabit and he married her and from this marriage Abdulrahman was born Maria who was from tribe called Copt the Coptics and for that reason she is referred to as by the historians and tradition as Mary the Coptic peace be upon her she was a pious lady and sincere in her religion she was highly respected by the apostle of Allah and was generous and honorable in his eyes he paid and placed a lot of attention upon her after the loss of lady peace be upon her the prophet peace be upon him and his family placed a lot of attention upon her after lady peace be upon her she was the second one of his wives to bore him a child and because of this some of his other wives used to carry envy and jealousy towards her such as Aisha and Hafsa who even came to the point where they accused her of adultery when lady Maria peace be upon her came close to the end of her pregnancy the midwife who was Salma the wife of Abu Rafah informed her husband to inform the apostle of Allah about the birth of his child who was Abraham peace be upon him the prophet was so happy of this good news that he gifted Abu Rafah a servant as a sign of thanks for informing him of his son's pure birth this beautiful and auspicious occasion took place on the 8th of Dhul-Hajjah 8th year after Hijrah on the 7th day he sacrificed a sheep for him cut his son's hair and he gave silver equal to the weight of his cut hair these are general practices enforced by the prophet peace be upon him and his family which have become a sunnah till today the birthday of Abraham made the other wives of the prophet jealous and as a result they put lady Maria through a lot of pain and suffering unfortunately we do not have enough time to go through all of these details in this short episode this son of the prophet did not live for a very long time and he passed away on the 18th of Rajab 10 after Hijrah while he was only 18 months old he was buried in Al-Baqi'a and the prophet was in an intense grief over this loss in a report it is narrated that he said this grief will make everyone cry and render the hearts in sadness but we say nothing that makes God discontent in this tradition the prophet is teaching us that when facing a tragedy the one to return to is Allah سبحانه و تعالى because all souls will eventually return to their Creator on the night on which Abraham passed away a solar eclipse occurred and everyone thought that it was because of the loss of his son Abraham but the prophet had corrected them and informed them that this eclipse is a natural phenomenon and it is not related to his son's death the prophet wanted to rid the minds of all superstitions and ordered his nation to perform a special prayer when witnessing an ayah son from Allah this prayer called صلاة العيات my dear viewers to conclude we will report a couple more reports from the holy household which speak of the passing of Abraham these reports will give us an insight and from it examples and lessons can be extrapolated which we mentioned briefly earlier narrated on the authority of Imam Sadaq peace be upon him he said when Abraham passed away the prophet cried and said the eyes are crying and the heart is rendered however we do not say anything which discontents God he then turned to his son Abraham and said oh Abraham we are in grief over your death some of the companions of the prophet saw the prophet was weeping and was in grief and were surprised by this action hence they began to object this and said you told us not to cry for the dead yet now you are crying for the death of your loved ones the prophet said I had never told you not to cry for the death of your loved ones as these emotions show the sympathy and kindness and a person who does not sympathize with others is not blessed by God Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib peace be upon him the commander of the faithful took care of the gusl of the body of Abraham and shrouded him a group of Banu Hashim performed the funeral processions with the prophet and buried him in the cemetery of Al-Baqia that is what we have for you today for Abraham the son of Muhammad peace be upon him and his family we pray that you benefited from this program and we ask Allah to grant us the divine guidance so that we may continue to serve him by serving you peace be upon you وسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته


All right. Hello, everyone. Welcome to this slideshow karaoke So I don't know if you all know about this But we'll be presenting some random slides for no particular reason which means fun And I'd like to thank for a thank to Amita for submitting the thing feeling of a submission and to Patrick about for helping me with the slides Anything bad in this place. That's his fault, of course So we have very simple rules We'll have ten slide decks that are presented by people from the audience Five slides each and you won't see them before and I'll be self-advancing. There's 15 seconds for each slides and I think we have our first volunteer right here so I Guess I'll just give Steven the mic and let's start. Oh boy So I want to tell you about our new product. We are selling pork heads They are top quality ripped straight from the animal never and never This is our this is our new packaging facility you can see each one of these is a cage containing a containing one of the pigs Actually, no, sorry those ones on the side of containing the pigs those ones contain all the people that have to deal with the pigs I've got nothing on that That who's been messing with my slides? And here and here we have the boardroom you'll notice that we have no board members and that is because they were all eaten by the pigs It Interesting now though. They didn't leave a much of a mess our first customer. All right working for a second volunteer. There we go I should be a totally random Yep, yeah So after Steven and talk about the pigs things in the head We decided to go with ours is because it seems that people prefer also versus big so We decide which we came with a model then we asked for designer to come with our speed of And then we try with Fedora Because we needed to automate the whole thing like we wanted to buy to build a complete pipeline And of course it had to be running container because Adam was involved as you can see So clearly there was something going on and because Adam was involved of course what happened? Fire fire it was panic all the place container were on fire everything And so we had to call the fire brigade has the CP team just to come to the rescue But we were just too busy enjoying Drinking and and of course having banana split With ice cream because that's the second thing we do first before we want to extinguish Fire we need to be sure that we are just ready in a good mood So that's what we do and this is off fire brigade truck that we use Coming onsite because we do also onsite support of course when things go completely wrong and especially Next time we just want to have Adam sitting there and sleeping there. So thank you All right who wants to be next? It's just recorded no pressure Go for it All right, so in a world in the future where the Linux and you know Linux Windows macOS have all merged with the human app evolved to a state where we look like a little bit like these monkeys so it's a little bit of maker of the you know planets of the hips and humans and We've started writing codes to get us to the state of mind. So we are no longer needed to keyboards We can just think about it You've seen how we look so we know much more than we are today And we are able to do to come with this with this kind of codes which look all nice and forget But you know at the end of the day it's all ends up blowing up in your face And then you get protest all over the place and you know, it's fun. So you get protest anyway so Before we turn into the previous monster we did end up with code blowing up our place So we need to wash it and that's the place where you end up Bringing your your code and you get to keep having clean up and you get to you know Bring did the nice elephant back to the to the previous picture on the everything's growing up So once we have we're done with this we do bring Ourself to karaoke place because this is the evening events and we get some nail in place we get Adam singing on the back in his nice as your end costume and And that's six for me, thank you I Working yeah Okay, so we have this room and it's chloride It looks like we will play some basketball But we don't know what the where is the ball. It's not seen anywhere So we ended up using bananas instead of ball We tried to make them look like a dolphins because why not It's easy to make them look like a dolphins and it's fun So and then we forced them to write through a subway. So they are They are trying to make it more Okay, so and then we told about the types and the relations What are the relations between the bananas and the subway and? We end up with frock and and some cupcake. So I think we give it a great job and I Think we figured out something that is not really clear to anyone Alright, we need mobile volunteers On behalf of the IBM committee, I'm here to inform you about all the changes We're going to be making to red hat as a result of the acquisition. I Swear I didn't plan this I apologize So there's going to be some minor changes in the way that we do business going forward There is going to be a new dress code that we're going to be imposing. I Hope you're all going to be very open-minded about things But ultimately I think that at the end of the day when you see the package that we've put together here You're not going to be worried in the slightest It's going to be fine everybody just hang in there, okay, just this hang in there, right? Thank you all so much and welcome to IBM And the more news from everyone about other events. I think Mohan has He got the best light for that maybe Okay Is that a this is on Frisbee new kind of frisbee that we will play with when we got drunk and see how that helps and I think it's missing a red hat branding and Huh, this is where from we jump off while playing that frisbee and and Interesting, I hope there is some snow below there and This is where will be our new motor everyone will say like I'm fearless because we are working for We are working on open source and we'll be very fearless on working on stuff For the world Okay, I Don't know I guess we are all developing these things for for the world To make it a better place Okay, I have no idea what to say about this Sorry, I Made that slide deck. I guess we need three more volunteers or four if I can count correctly Maybe oh, thank you Matthew for coming as a as a volunteer Um No, you haven't So that's kind of the look that we all have at five in the morning after reviewing a lot of bucks probably Especially the hair color since that it looks like me without my blow. Oh right So That's what happens if you Try to communicate with anyone in the community. They just start peeling you layer by layer by layer telling you that you need more and Probably you can make a rocket with all the pain and suffering from solving box and fedora Maybe you just need to run away to another country or another planet is not enough. See you just need to run away from all of it Multanically just That's how code looks to me. I don't even understand it Ah and That's us the signers trying to make everything yummy and tasty and beautiful just to have another layer of pain on top of it Yeah, I hope there is nothing more in there. Thank you All right. Thank you for coming All right, so these are gonna be my ideas for next flock so We're gonna start by going to an aquarium because you know, we just need to let loose sometimes before before we go to all these meetings and presentations and So we're gonna go to a planetarium and and watch some jellyfish and then We're gonna have our first official meeting in in in this railway system or whatever I'm looking at here And we're all gonna stand around and And then in between sessions, we're gonna eat. I don't even know what this is We're gonna eat it because it looks good, right? So our snack time sessions are gonna be replaced with with that. I don't know what I'm looking at You know, we really want you to get your hands dirty with fedora and and have fun hacking on it and enjoy all the sessions Nothing, I have nothing You know after the conference we can let loose the pool and have fun Do have more volunteers Thank you for volunteering so This is how to stay fedora project leader for five years without burnout The first thing is that you know the burnout is always lurking there behind In front of all of the fruit and plants. It's like glow glowing there in the back of your mind and yeah, but As long as you get your hands, you know in into everything and Keep keep making sure you're staying in touch with things and you're getting all the color all over your hands And it you keep involved with everything is an important way But sometimes the stress of it just kind of makes you want to just start a dream of kind of floating off And not worrying about the weight of all the problems maybe just soaring off to the moon in a Physically impossible balloon But you know that overall there's kind of a glow from the project and from all the wonderful people in in this community Who helped support and make everything work together so that is always important and Wow So you also have to make sure you know to keep things light and do some exercise as well While you're you know doing all of the farm work that people who want to work in fedora always And the last but not least will be thank you So why should we collaborate and not just an open source project? You know This might be a roller coaster But why isn't it because somebody forgot to put rails on it and You know why did it happen because this was a proprietary project and We all have just one brain we cannot think of everything so You can't fit Everything in this world just into this small hat. You know, I have it you have it everyone has it and and We all should use it but ideally together because our brain is just a tool like the spoon and You can fit about this much on a spoon of the food. You can't eat it all at once with such a small spoon of course, you don't really need the spoon and You can think bigger You can for example put ice cream on the spoon and now you have more food on the spoon that normally would fit in there But somebody has to think about it So next time we eat thing about how to make your day better somebody else's day better and share


Wow, that's amazing any way she did it I give her a lot of credit because it's incredible to lose that amount of fat Is either by surgery or by exercise and diet anyway? She did an excellent job, but unfortunately the skin is like a rubber band once it's been expanded for so long and so much time It won't retract so the only way to help her is to do extended gastrectomy or 360 body lift and somehow that all that skin has to be excised


Hi everyone and welcome along to another episode of LVSA conference television I'm Colm Cronin from the adventures in advising podcast and today I am delighted to be joined by a repeat visitor dr. Chris Polly Chris. How you doing doing good? Thanks Colm a little bit tired after a busy day, but yeah always great to chat with you Well, I am I'm really intrigued. I want to hear more. Tell me about day one Tell me how did it go and tell me we talked just a couple of days ago about the gather town environment the advising hub I want to hear I want to hear about that Yeah, so day one was was busy as you would expect we had we saw well We think we interacted with almost everyone who's registered with the conference by now, which is great Everyone's got some set up and understands hopefully how to get into the our sessions Which is always a bit of a you know a question mark for technical You know Experiences of our members is not always uniform so trying to get everybody where they need to be is a bit of a challenge and Then we've seen about 50% of our members in gather town at some point today as well we had our poster session and We also spotted a bunch of people just having an explore getting to know the space and the really nice thing about gather town is Is you can't see everybody all of the time, but as you walk past a group of people you can see that they're chatting You can't hear what they're saying, but it gives you a little animation, which is just you know, it's so Yeah, it's so cuz I like as we would say in in Dutch, right? It's so cozy to make to know that there's people they're having an in-depth conversation About the conference and what's going on, which I think it's just it just gives the whole place a really nice feel Yeah, because that's exactly what you see at Any in conference that you go to in person as you see groups of people having conversations And you don't know what they're conversing about but you could see people interacting So it's great to hear that that is Working well in in the advising hub and I think as probably more people come in from you the UCAT side tomorrow It will just continue to grow and expand So we have just finished day one, but what what else is in store over the coming days? Yeah, so the program as we talked about earlier in the week is is pretty diverse, but it's also Empty ish so we recognize that the you know, people are mostly working from home. There's still kids in the background So at a low pace we we have a bunch of events now Which which really focus on the connection between UCAT and LVSA so we have a couple of nice sessions planned one on Thursday With Eve and Melissa E from from to you Eindhoven and Melissa from Sheffield And they're really going to discuss with the advisors who go there about what what now have we learned after a year of this This bizarre situation. What can we what can we keep and what can we throw away? And I think that's a really interesting conversation We were really mindful when we were designing the program like how much do you talk about the pandemic? How much do you give people a break? But I think in this flavor, maybe we give people the best of that without dwelling too much on the negative side So I'm really interested to see that conversation and really actually bring the voices of the participants together Because yeah, that's that's the whole point of calibrating Tomorrow we've also got the the big annual meeting of LVSA So there there'll be conversations with the board of the of the organization setting the vision for the future about what what the organization will do And maybe some of the ideas and some of the inspiration will come from the members about their experiences from this week And and what they want to see LVSA doing and more in 2021 and 2022 Fantastic. Yeah, the Melissa and Eve's session I've spoken about it sounds like it's going to be fantastic And kind of a lovely follow-on to that UCAT LVSA crossover event in December as well. So it's all coming together and Chris I want to thank you for taking the time to chat to me this this was Unscheduled when we initially put the list together, but Chris very kindly Agree to jump on and talk about the first day and for people who are looking for for more Information on either the the UCAT side of things or the the LVSA you can see they're the conference hashtags the Twitter accounts the Facebook pages you can see the LinkedIn group So please do keep the conversations going and get involved in the advising hub on gather town Chris I want to wish you the best for the rest of the conference I hope it continues to be as busy and as productive as day one has been and I look forward to it getting the opportunity to get Into the advising hub and chat to people there myself. Yeah, see you around. Thanks for the chat


Okay, better like that. So we have done this and now we have in it. This is what we can hear. It's too easy, right? One line and we have two lines, one export, one import, and we have now all your documents from the MongoDB inside MySQL. So let's query it to see what it looks like, right? So here you can see I'm using JavaScript inside the shell and I do restaurant find. It's a bit long because I will receive all the 25,000. So let's limit it to one. So I will do this, restaurant find limit one, and we have the first document in the collection. This is MySQL. MySQL 8, you can have this, right? More example, so you do, okay, restaurant find, and I want to see the name and the cuisine, and I want to limit to two records. So two documents. I have this first one, so cuisine Irish, this is the name of the restaurant, and this is cuisine American, and another name, right? All that without any single line of SQL. So documents, not using SQL, this is what people want. So we go there, right? We can add criteria. So we can say, okay, restaurant find, I want no Italian cuisine, and it runs, and we have Italian cuisine. I can use in, I want Italian or Spanish cuisine, right? And it does. Of course, here you have the first two are only Italian, but it would work. So what means for developers? So for developers, NoSQL, NoSQL is MySQL 8, and this is what you can have and this is some, I tried to jump again in PHP that I did a long time ago, so this was my best design I was able to do, right? The code is on GitHub if you want to see how it works, right? So this is what's behind the form you just saw, right? So we use MySQL X, we get the session, so we connect using the new X protocol, because MySQL 8 has two protocols, the standard protocol and the X protocol. We connect with the login password where we connect, then I say, okay, I want the schema, I want to get that collection, and then I run the search I was adding here, right? And then for each result, I can show them, and this is what we see here, right? So I was able to do this form in web form without any single line of SQL. Easy, right? We only use credit operation. This is an example. This works for the credit operation that you have seen, works for all the documents, but it works also for normal tables if you want. So if you have standard table and you want to give the possibility to your developers to only use credit operation on tables, it's also possible. So these are the different type of credit operation. So we have the add, remove, and this is the syntax, right? Modify, it's cool because you can say, okay, I want to modify the name and I put the name, I will bind with the new value, or you can also use the patch function and you can patch your JSON document like that. So all you need to know is here on the user guide with all the credit operations. But like I said earlier, in MySQL, we also do care about your data, right? So the MySQL document store is fully ACID compliant. So it means that it relies on InnoDB. So your data, it's stored on InnoDB. It's not yet another engine behind MySQL. No, it's the InnoDB, which is the most, let's say, powerful engine and robust that we have, right? So by default, you have flushed lots at transaction commit. So every time you do a transaction, every time you're going to insert document, it will be flushed also on disk. Double write buffer. So if you have an issue writing a new DB page, we're going to find it. Sync bidlock equal one. So it means that every time you write a new document, it will be written also synced on the binary lock and sent to the slave. So all that works with the norm, everything you have in MySQL now, you have it with the document store. So your replication, all that, group replication, the isolation, all that works, but with documents. So we do care about your data, as I already said. So if you care about your data, but if you want to use credit operation and if you want to have documents, MySQL document store. More. So this is transaction support that we are just saying, oh, I don't use transaction when I do document store, but it's possible. So we just do star transaction. We add what we want. And then we can see it. And after that, we can roll back, check again. It's gone because we haven't committed the transaction. So it's possible to play with transaction inside the document store. So it's cool, right? So we have document store. We can store our documents. We have credit operation. So we can add, remove. We can use all that data without playing with SQL. It's ACID. Perfect. We have the durability that it's missing sometimes on the older document store. But what makes the document store of MySQL that unique, right? A challenge. I like challenges, right?  If I want to ask you, OK, now, some of you are developers, I want to have the list of the best restaurants of each type of cuisine we have. And show me, so for each type of cuisine, I want the best restaurant. And then I want, of course, that the best of all of them is the one on top, right? So for example, if the best restaurant ever is an Italian restaurant, I want Italian, then the restaurant, and then the average rate it has. But don't forget, behind that, so in the background, this is only documents that we just imported right now. How do you do that? How easy it is to do that in using Mongo? Sorry to point you, because you said you're using Mongo, so how do you do that in Mongo? Will you be able to do this in Mongo easily? Yeah. This is the point I wanted to go, right? So when most of the people, when they do that, they give to the developers, OK, please play a prototype and make me a product that stores data. Then they say, yeah, but we need now to make some queries on that, reporting, whatever. How do we do that? And what I saw when I was doing consulting is that people extract data from the document store, put it in a rational database to do the queries. So they copy the data on two different systems, and they need people to maintain the document store, they need people to maintain the relational database, and they need to copy the data tries and all that kind of stuff. With the MySQLA document store, just use SQL with your NoSQL data and aggregation. So we make a common table expression, SQL is powerful. We do some Windows function, and here we are. So we have the cuisine, juice, mousse, fruit, salad. The name is Juice I.T. Health Bar as an average of 75. So for all the juice, mousse, fruit, and salad restaurants we have, this one is the best, and it's the best of all of them. Then the second best cuisine is Chinese food, and this is the restaurant. So you don't need to copy all the data somewhere else. You don't need to transfer your data. You don't need to use to maintain another system. It's all on the same system. And this system, it might escalate. So, and of course, exactly the same way we were doing the crowd operation, at a certain point to, let's say, to answer one of the requirements that we need. For example, I need to make this report. You can say here, okay, now in my session, I don't do add, remove, delete. I will go back to SQL and do SQL. And if you see, and if you follow the document stores, the leaders in the document store, they are trying now to do that. They are trying to say, oh, we should use SQL also because we need that. But it will be very complicated for them to have SQL because they don't have the backend that a relational database has like we do. So good luck to achieve that for them. So what's for DBA? For DBA, in fact, all the secret of what we have seen now is just the JSON data type, right? So this is, we can also add columns that we could index. So if you see all, our query are too slow, DBA can add indexes for your JSON queries. And for example, like this. So this is virtual columns. So the index is materialized on disk, but the data is still in your document, in the JSON data type. It's not that it didn't create a new column physically, so you don't copy the data. Just the index, extra index you have. And you can validate, but I have just some few time left, so I will pass this. But the slides will be available. So what can we do all that? So all these indexes is also then to speed up. For example here, we do full scan of the table. When we create some indexes, we do the same queries and we use the index. So it's possible to do it inside of the document store or outside. You can have this index to speed up everything, right? Yeah, this is how it looks like. A table for the DBA. But the developer doesn't need to care about that. It works, right? Here you can do a race. I can have the first one, the last one, and see whatever you want. It's very easy to use. Okay? This is a new... There is a plenty of JSON function in my SQL, and this is one that it allows you to extract the document and shows it and use it like it was a normal table. So what do I gain? I gain the best of the two words in one product. Data integrity. I am completely ACID compliant. I have my transaction. I can use SQL if needed. But I'm also schema-less. I have also flexible data structure and very easy to start because I can use crowd operation. All that in one single product with all the benefits, with all the ecosystem around MySQL we have seen, so you can use the ProxySQL or you can use Ghost if you need to do changes, whatever you want, all the ecosystem of MySQL, it's still compatible with this. So again, the cars against humanity. So they said that the MySQL document store is the best thing since the sliced bread. It's a quote of Dave, my colleague here. So thank you very much. Do you have questions? Yes.