Hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Johnathan Assey of JohnathanAssey.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, the four signs you can trust your boyfriend. And number three is a really important one. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms.  It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. Occasionally, I use expletives to enhance a sentence and if an F bomb or two isn't your cup of tea, I highly suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are merely my thoughts, my opinions, my perceptions. By no stretch of the means, so I suggest that this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself and I hope I expand your consciousness with what I'm about to share today. All right, let's talk about trust today and let's face it, trust is hugely important in a relationship and they say trust is something earned. And I've often thought is trust is something that you start with. And what I mean to say is you show up as a trustworthy person. In other words, ideally, wouldn't it be great if everybody showed up in the dating, mating or relating realm with a sense of integrity?  Wouldn't that be great? Because all those things create mistrust in a relationship and with trust, we can feel safer in a relationship. Now, you might have heard a moment ago, I said some things about being impeccable with your word, always doing your best. Well, that's because I think being a trustworthy person starts with the agreements you make to yourself. I'll repeat that, being a trustworthy person starts with the agreements you make with yourself. And why I'm leaning into this is because if you're not familiar with the book, the four agreements, the four agreements, I highly recommend reading this book and I highly recommend dating someone else who's also read this book because if the four agreements are the agreements you make to yourself, being impeccable with your word, always doing your best, understanding that other people's perception of you oftentimes is a project projection of them and also making assumptions. When we can eliminate from that in our life, we begin to start walking in, we start walking our life with a greater sense of integrity. And quite frankly, isn't this what we're really about? Because trustworthiness is a reflection of someone's character. Are they operating from a place of integrity? And let's face it, in the dating realm it can be rather confusing because it seems like so many people are mistrusting and most likely it's because, not because they're liars, not because they're narcissists, not because they're sociopaths, although there are people out there like that. I'm not discounting that. The reality is as most humans lie to themselves. I'm gonna repeat that. Most humans lie to themselves. We've created so many, our personality is like an onion. It's been layered upon layered over a thousand experiences in our lives that cause us to be rather kind of chaotic as human beings. I mean, human beings are emotionally chaotic. I'm gonna repeat that. Emotionally chaotic. I don't mean they're necessarily chaotic in their physical lives, but in their emotional lives. And so when people are chaotic, it's rather difficult to actually assess if you can trust this person. I mean, if they're chaotic on an emotional level. Ladies, speaking as a man, we men have a predisposition to think women are rather crazy because they can seem rather dysfunctional in their emotional life when it comes from the male perspective looking at women. I'm gonna repeat that. The male perspective of looking at women. So can you see why this is kind of a quagmire stuff? That when we look at the bigger picture, how can we determine if someone is really trustworthy to be in a relationship? And again, what I shared before would be the ideal scenario of showing up as a trustworthy person. You may have to check the boxes for yourself. So today I'm gonna lean into four signs to determine if the person you're dating is trustworthy. Okay. So I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses and by the way, these are my notes just to show you. So the four signs you can trust your boyfriend. Number one, he takes personal responsibility for his choices. He takes personal responsibility for his choices. Now, how can you really determine if someone takes personal responsibility for their choices? I think a great question to ask in the early stage of dating, centered around trying to get some indication of what happened in their past relationships. Let me repeat that. Try to get some indication of what happened to a person in their past relationships. Oftentimes how someone views their past relationships gives you insight into how authentic they're going to be in any future relationship, how honest they're going to be in a future relationship. And what I mean by, I said earlier, remember I said most people lie to themselves? Well, what I'm really piggybacking is how many people are really honest to themselves? How many people are honest to themselves and then reflect that honesty about themselves in the way they communicate. So great question, usually centers around trying to get some insight into someone's past relationships. Now, I told you, takes personal responsibility for your choices. So I'm gonna share a personal experience I went through just to illustrate this. I wish I had at the moment a male female. This is from the male perspective, but I don't have one right at the moment from the female perspective or from a woman's perspective. But I wanna give you something that happened to me. This happened some years ago. I briefly dated a woman. I think we went out for about six or seven weeks. And I remember our first and second date, I was just saying what happened in your marriage. She asked about my marriage, what happened in my marriage? And I asked her what happened in her marriage. And she said the marriage didn't work out because she was with a narcissist. I'm like, okay, I checked that box in my head. And I said, what happened to the last guy you had dated? And she goes, oh, he was a narcissist. And I'm like, what about the guy before that? Oh, he was a narcissist.  She had went out with eight narcissists from the period of her marriage till the time that we had gone on her first date. Maybe not eight, let's just say it was five, okay? So I'm thinking, narcissist, narcissist, narcissist, right? And I'm thinking to myself, well, I'm not a narcissist. I'll be her hero, because that's not who I am. So sure enough, we went out for six, seven weeks and I just realized she wasn't right for me on so many different levels. While there was physical chemistry between us, there just wasn't a lot of synergy in the other areas of our lives and our values, our lifestyles and some other things as well. While I'm sharing this story with you is when we ended the relationship, guess what I saw on Facebook the following day? The caption read, just dated another narcissist. And why I'm sharing this with you is when she was sharing with me her past experiences, she pointed the finger all at the guy's fault. It was all her ex-husband's fault. It was every guy's fault of why the relationship didn't work out. And that should have been a clue to me, especially as a dating coach. So that should have been such a clue. What I thought to myself, well, I'm not one so I must be her hero, I can be her hero. What I should have been paying attention was the fact that she took no ownership in what went wrong in her relationship. Now, for those who know me know that I was married for 12 years, I'm gonna publicly say this, I take ownership for my part in the ending of the relationship. Quite frankly, I was rather naive when I got married. I was rather unconscious when I got married. I was rather selfish when I got married, not selfish like from a narcissistic perspective but I was very tunnel vision when I was in my marriage. I was more focused on getting the career going instead of actually being a good husband. I take ownership for what went wrong in my marriage. That's the sign of someone taking personal responsibility for their choices. And so a great question to ask centers around past relationships and finding out does the person take ownership on their part or not? Because if they don't, that might be a sign that this might be a person you can't trust or at least go deeper into intimacy because if someone can't take ownership on their part then it's gonna be difficult for them to take ownership when something goes wrong in your relationship. Okay, that's number one. Number two, their actions match their words. Their actions consistently match their words. As I said about in the book, the four agreements and the four agreements be impeccable with your word. Now the reality is, is we're all going to make mistakes. There's going to be a moment where you said you were gonna text at four o'clock and you couldn't make it till six o'clock or it might be that you're gonna call one evening and something happens. It's the exceptions and not the rules. If you're consistent with your actions matching your words, that's demonstrated being not only being impeccable with your word and also doing your best. And that's a great sign to determine trustworthy behavior. Actions consistently matching words. Number three, this is one of my favorites. I think it's like the most important thing. In the early stages of dating, in the early stages of getting to know someone is being what I call radically honest, being radically honest. And what that means is talking about things beyond the surface level of dating, actually talking about the emotional effects of what may have happened in your past relationships and talking about the emotional, talking about the deeper questions that I think is more important in the early stage of dating because before you give your heart to another human being. You know what's fascinating to me?  I mean, sometimes on a first date, on a third date, even the 10th date.  That's kind of the average. And yet, you know, really very little about the person because most of the conversation has been centered around, you like sushi, me too. You like stand-up paddle board? Oh my God, I do it every weekend. You like the Rolling Stones? My favorite band, I've seen them, you know, 10 times in my life. Oh my God, I know so much about you. That's not the deeper questions to be asking someone. I'm a big proponent of being radically honest right from the get-go to say something like, hey, you know, before we explore a relationship together, let's see if we're on the same page on what we're looking for. And I'm looking for a fully committed relationship that leads to getting married or getting married or living together. What are you looking for in a relationship? What does commitment actually mean to you? Whoa, wait, you can ask a guy what does commitment mean to him? Yes, you can, folks, and anyone. And by the way, this is how the person responds to radical honesty gives you a clue as to whether or not this is a person you can trust because people who deflect your radically honest questions. And I don't mean to vomit this stuff on the first or second date. I'm just suggesting before you really give your heart away and maybe before you give your body away to another human being. I don't mean you're giving your body away, but you give your body to another human being. You may wanna ask some deeper questions and how they respond to your deeper questions gives you insight into the person's character and actually gives you insight in determining if this person is quite trustworthy or not. Now, everything I've just shared to this point isn't an absolute, isn't a guarantee. However, let's think of it this way. If you operate the way most people date today that chemistry equals relationship success and that love will magically solve all incompatibility, you're living in fantasy land. Let me repeat that. You are living in fantasy land if you think chemistry equals relationship success and love can conquer all relationship problems. The reality is love can't conquer all relationship problems. Love is the icing on the cake when two compatible people get together and are actually more radically honest with one another from the early stages than hoping that magic fairy dust will transform an incompatible couple together. And if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg, if you're brand new to my channel, show this to my Instagram group. Here's my relationship iceberg. And above the waterline is attraction and you can see at the tip of the iceberg is chemistry and below the waterline is compatibility which is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. And as you start checking the boxes of shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity, the waterline begins to drop and you find yourself more and more attracted to this person from a long-term perspective. So when people don't share the same values, there's friction in the relationship. When people's lifestyles aren't blendable, there's friction in the relationship. And lastly, if there's a lack of emotional maturity, they're not grown up enough to be in relationship. This is why you have to vet for these things. And if you need some support with that, check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you. My area of expertise is teaching you how to ask the right questions based on your personality to determine if you're compatible with them and how to vet for emotional maturity. Check out the link below. All right, the fourth and final piece for today's broadcast to see if someone's trustworthy is transparency, transparency. If something is material to the relationship or potential relationship, then it's important to bring it up sooner rather than later. I'm gonna repeat that. It's important to bring it up sooner rather than later. Now, there's a lot of schools of thought on this because you might scare someone away being transparent. But let's explore this for a second. If somebody had an STD, when would you wanna know about it?  Would you wanna know it after the first date?  Would you wanna find out about it after having sex? You know, it's interesting to me. I think nearly one third of people who have STDs oftentimes don't tell the person that they're with until after they've had sex together. And that's not a very cool thing to do. So to me, if it's material to the relationship, it's important to be transparent about it. So let me give you another example. If a person was struggling financially, would you wanna learn about it after you've given your heart to them? Or would you wanna learn about it relatively early on? This is the tricky part. This is why radical honesty is a great gateway into seeing how truly compatible two people can be because I'll share with you all something. I was in a significant relationship back from 2011 till 2017, lasted six years on and off. We had our breakups in between. On our second date, I was radically honest with her. I was struggling financially. I was just building my dating coaching business. It was fledgling. I was in the brand new stages. I mean, I think my first year, I had only made 40,000 in income. Now, by the way, compared to most coaches, that's significantly more than 90% of the coaches out there. Even seasoned coaches don't make that much money and I now make five to 10 times that amount. But my point is, not that I gave the specifics to the woman I was dating, but I let her know that I was building a business and I was just getting started and I wasn't at the level I'd hoped to be. I wanted to be transparent with her. And actually I think I said this on the third or fourth date. Now, interestingly enough, she was dating me from the perspective of she didn't expect to be in a relationship with me. And however, the more radically honest I was with her, the actually closer we got together and the more she felt safer. Because isn't that what this is really about? So being transparent early on if it's material to the relationship actually builds deeper trust with someone. And when you build the deep roots of trust, if you do hit some bumps in the road, you're going to be able to navigate them a lot easier than shoving things under the rug. And that's not my invitation for you all. I'd like everybody to explore the dating, mating or relating process with a sense of confidence within yourself knowing no matter what you say, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. By the way, that's actually chapter nine in my book, what the heck is self love anyway? Because chapter one is if it's sincere and from the heart, or excuse me, chapter one is speak your truth do it with kindness, chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So all of this is my invitation for you to pay attention to, do they take personal responsibility for their choices? Did their actions consistently match their words? Can they be flexible and open to radical honesty? And lastly, are they transparent with you? Because if you find a person that's hitting off on all four of these cylinders, you've got a good chance of having a potentially trustworthy partner in your life. And I hope that helped today. If it did, please give me a thumbs up right now. All right, it's our live stream Monday here today. We are going to take questions. If you're listening to the recording, you won't be able to ask questions. This is only for those that are on the live stream, on the chat box on YouTube. So if you post a question, write the word question, then write your question thereafter, or you can purchase a super sticker and super chat to donate to, and actually all the monies from the super stickers, super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor for those who know me, know my son Connor right there with my father. That was actually just taking a few months before he passed away. And the scholarship fund is his name and the monies in that fund go to defray the cost of personal development and also is given to charities like Hoffman Process and Insight for those who are seeking to improve from the inside out. So I hope that helps. Super sticker, super chat. All right, let's jump in and take a look at the questions. If you have a question, post the word question and write your question thereafter. And let's scroll up here. Lolita says, my neighbor goes to massage parlors while he lived in a friend's stay at place, unbelievable, very sad. I'm not sure why you shared that, but thank you. Sherry says, Jennifer, like and hit subscribe and notification bell. You wanna be notified when Jonathan goes live. Thank you so much. All right, if you have a question, oh, here we go. All right, Jennifer writes, question. Do you have a schedule when you go live? I set up notifications, but oftentimes I'm busy. So for those listening, my lives are Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays, Monday and Wednesday at 4 p.m. Pacific Coast time and 3 p.m. on Friday's Pacific Coast time. Thank you for your question. All right, let's, do you have a relationship question? Post the word question and write the question thereafter. Catherine says, I agree, deep personal questions are so important. Yes. All right, let's see. Melissa, just first, just a super sticker. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. I know we had another super sticker earlier. Sky says, I'm currently reading eight dates in self love. Look at the two books, eight dates in self love. Great books, by the way, there's a link to all my recommended books in the below, Jonathan recommends and also selflovethebook.com. Okay, Nicole says, question, how many dates would it be considered to be more committed relationship? How many dates would it be considered to be a more committed relationship? That's an interesting and great question. All right, so this is first where you have to decide what does commitment look like for you? What does commitment look like for you? Now, for those who know me, I share what I'm seeking in a relationship and I invite you all to do the same. I'm gonna recite what I'm seeking relationship because this develops your standard. What is your standard? So my standard is I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, team work building skills both in our personal and our professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married. That's what I would like my relationship to look like. Now, let me be clear, that's not what I'm seeking on the first, second or third date, okay? That's what I want in the form of relationship. Dating, the purpose of dating is to vet the other person to decide if you wanna be in relationship with them. I better repeat that. Purpose of dating is a vetting process to decide if you wanna be in a relationship with them. So how many dates does it take to decide if you wanna be in relationship with them?  For some people, it could be as early as three or four dates to explore a relationship. For some people, it could be more, it could be 10 dates. For some people, it could be a few months. For some people, it could be six or seven months before they wanna explore a relationship.  I just shared with you my standards. So if someone can't meet that standard, I don't invest in dating someone who's only available once every other week because for example, they might be raising children, they might have a demanding job. It just doesn't fit into the lifestyle I have for myself. So I invite you to come up with your standard. Your boundary then is what's okay or what's not okay for you. Ultimately, you gotta decide what does commitment look like for you? Now, to me, commitment starts with the agreement of monogamy and exclusivity. I'm gonna repeat that, monogamy and exclusivity. So to me, if we're going to have regular sex together, I would prefer it to be monogamous. I repeat that, if we're gonna have regular sex together, I would prefer it to be monogamous.  And if they feel the need to date other people, then that crosses one of my boundaries because if I wouldn't want someone to do something, let me, how do I say this properly? If not, I'm not saying someone has to not stop dating other people, but if I'm going to agree to stop exploring the idea, exploring, see, again, if you're exploring a relationship with one person, but you're saying, no, I need to date other people so to keep my options open, when you've decided you wanna explore a relationship, to me, that's the agreement of being exclusive together. And that's really the first stage of commitment. And roughly these days, it takes about 100 hours of face-to-face time, 100 hours of face-to-face time to really get to know a person that's stage one. So if you've seen each other once or twice a week over the course of about six to eight weeks, you're probably gonna accumulate close to 100 hours of face-to-face time. And hopefully you've asked really good questions to determine if you're compatible. You've asked really good questions to see if your lifestyles are blendable. You've asked even better questions to determine if they're emotionally mature. And at that point, you may wanna explore a committed relationship. Now, that's the way I operate. Everybody has to decide for themselves what that means to them. The reality is is most people today are dating very casually without any intentionality. I'm gonna repeat that, they're dating casually without any intentionality. And I think this is one of the reasons why we're seeing this proliferation of starts and stops, starts and stops, starts and stops, relationships that take off like a rocket and then crash down to earth because they run out of gas, because there's a lack of intentionality. And it's because many of you, especially women, hyper-focus on the idea that men are the leaders of relationship and all you have to do is sit back in your feminine energy and everything will just magically work out because it'll clean you. Like really, folks, a relationship is a two-lane street. It requires mutual effort to have any chance for success. Yes, they're the exceptions to the rules, but the problem with the one up, one down dynamic, meaning the men are in charge of the relationship and you're the follower, is that you're basically at his beck and call of how he wants to do things. And if you're not on the same page, that's gonna create a lot of drama. And quite frankly, do you want a man in charge of your relationship destiny? God, I hope not. I hope everybody here wants to be in charge of their own relationship destiny. Folks, if when the number one search term for women is why are men commitment phobic, why do men ghost, why do men disappear? Maybe that tells you, you don't wanna give the job to the demographic that tends to be the one that doesn't want, I'm not saying men don't want relationship, but if they're struggling with it, I invite you to be in charge of your relationship destiny. So to come back to your answer your question, when does commitment happen? You have to decide that for yourself. I've just laid it out to you how I operate. And my hope is by what I shared, you might get some insight in coming up with your own answers.  If you have, please post a comment below, I'd really appreciate it. And if you need some help in learning how to ask those questions, yes, schedule that free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you, it's in the link below. All right, great question. I wanna thank you so much, Nicole, for that question. All right, the sunshine fee, right, question. If a man says he doesn't wanna get married anymore and it's your wish to get married in the future, should one cut off the relationship? If a man says he doesn't wanna get married. Okay, so this is a great question and this is really important for those of us in midlife. Okay, so let me just say why that is. So the thing is most folks in midlife, which I say midlife is after baby making years and before retirement, roughly 75% of singles who are actively looking for love in this age demographic are divorced. And a lot of people right after divorce are very reluctant to ever wanna get married again. I'm gonna repeat that, people that have just come off of divorce are very reluctant to get married again. I know after my divorce, it was a good five, six, seven. I said, I never wanna get married again, I never wanna get married again, I never wanna get married again. And now it's funny because now I so wanna get married, but it's been 15 years since the ending of my relationship. So one is oftentimes people that don't wanna get married, it's because they had a really bad experience in their marriage. Now that doesn't mean that they may not change their mind at some point, but I think ultimately what you might want to find out is why they don't want it to get remarried, why don't they wanna get remarried? Because if someone is really reeling from pain in their past marriage, it's understandable. I was reeling with a lot of pain from my marriage, the divorce in it of itself, because I want you to think about it. Divorce is an unraveling of the tapestry of an old life. And then you have to learn to create a new tapestry on your own. And a lot of people just go right back together with someone else. We human beings are rather codependent. In fact, if you're not familiar with the book, Codependent No More, people oftentimes gravitate to new relationships very quickly without healing from their past relationships. That doesn't mean that they wanna get married, I'll show the book one more time, Codependent No More. Doesn't mean that they may, just because someone wants to get into a relationship right away, doesn't mean they wanna get married. So going back to the original question.  I know my friend says, one of my dear friends says, what's the point of getting married if I'm not gonna share assets with someone? And that's a really good point. Ultimately, marriage is going to be about a commingling of assets. This is why I said to you earlier, I'm looking for myself, I'm looking to either get remarried or live with someone at some point because I don't wanna have a relationship where we're living in two separate houses. Now, some people can do that. Some people can live in separate homes and carry on for years in a relationship. Now, as I just said that, some of you might be thinking long distance. Let me just be clear about something. It's fun to do long distance when you're young and you have the energy, but I just want you to think 10, 15 years in the future. Do you wanna be constantly getting on a plane to see each other? At some point, if you're not either moving towards getting either in the same home or at least live close to one another, relationships are very problematic because how can you be there for a person during the tough times? For example, later today, I'm a dear friend of mine. She needs a ride home from the hospital and her boyfriend can't make it.  And she's blessed to have that, but her boyfriend does it nine out of 10 times and I just happen to be there. That's what proximity can do for you which is very difficult to do when you have distance involved but that's a whole nother conversation. I'm going off on a tangent. Anyway, go back to your original question. What was the question centered around marriage? Listen, you've gotta decide for yourself. Just because someone says they don't wanna get married, I at least ask a few more questions to determine if you're on the same page or not. And if you are, you may wanna explore it if you're not, you may wanna move on. Great question, sunshine. Thank you so much. All right, I saw another super sticker a moment ago. I wanna thank Nicole. Nicole, thank you. You're very welcome. I wanna thank Tim for the super sticker. By the way, if you purchased a super sticker, super chat, I'm so grateful. Thank you so much. Okay, Elaine says, question. Do you have to be exclusive to build a relationship? Do you have to be exclusive? Okay, so folks, everybody has a different opinion. I know a lot of dating and relationship coaches suggest dating multiple people. But I want you to think about dating multiple people. Okay, if you're dating three or four guys, and the guy is dating three or four women. First off, when do you have enough time to date multiple people? Now, I wanna differentiate between meeting people and dating people. Meeting people and dating people. So let's differentiate this. First off, listen, if you meet someone and you never see him again, that's just a meeting. If you meet someone on a Monday, never see him again. You meet someone new on a Wednesday and you never see him again. You meet someone new on a Thursday or Friday and never see him again. That's not dating three people. That just happened to be meeting three people in a given week. Now I want you to change this scenario. You're actively dating three people at the same time. How much, so in the other person, let's just say the guy isn't dating multiple people. Let's just go with that for a second. All right, he calls you up and says, hey, what are you doing Thursday night? You know, one of the guys, this guy says. And you go, well, I've got plans somewhere else.  Okay, and then, you know, that guy, okay, let's say the one guy calls you up on Friday and what are you doing? You've got something else going on because you're dating multiple people. Well, you might be missing out on a great guy who goes, look, you don't seem to have time to be in a relationship with me. So that's one of the challenges. Now I know a lot of coaches will tell women to date multiple people so they don't get attached to the wrong guy. Let me think about this. If you have a propensity to get attached to the wrong guy, maybe you might want to heal the wounds that cause you to get attached to the wrong guy. For example, a lot of women get attached to the bad boy and the player. I'm gonna repeat that. They get attached to the bad boy or player. There's predominantly two reasons why this happens. And if you're not familiar with the following two books attached by Amira Levine and Rachel Heller and Getting the Love You Want by Harbell Hendricks and Helen Hunt, okay? While you want to read these books as first, love attachment is when you get biologically attached to another human being based on three attachment styles, anxious, avoidant or secure, okay? So we can actually be attached to the wrong person because of a childhood wound that happened in our lives that causes us to get attached to the wrong people. In addition, Getting the Love You Want talks about the amago, the amago. So what the amago is all about is we oftentimes choose partners that are very similar to one or both of our parents and in their personalities. And usually the unhealthy aspects are one of both of our parents. So here's the thing, you're dating multiple people. You're not really paying attention. You get attached to the wrong person. You let go of a great person because you're dating multiple people and he loses interest in you. And then where are you left? One or two years down the road, heartbroken. I'm a big proponent of dating one person at a time once you've agreed to explore a relationship together. And again, most men who are genuinely serious about seeking a life mate, a partner in their life actually make time to date only one person at a time. So I think as a common courtesy, you wanna also date one person at a time. That's just my belief system. Everybody has a different opinion around this. You have to ultimately do what's right for you. I do wanna caution everybody on this because of the internet, because of swipe dating. We are in a unique period in our lives where we have this thing called perceived choice, perceived choice. In other words, because we have this belief that there's so many choices because we can swipe, we have actually now been desensitized by human beings. And if you're not familiar with the TED Talk, the paradox of choice, I'm gonna say it slowly, the paradox of choice, the paradox of choice. It's a TED Talk. I highly recommend checking it out. That 20 minute TED Talk will give you some insight. It has nothing to do with dating, but it has everything to do with the problem we have of dating, it's not dating at all, but the fact that this belief that we have all these choices. And let me just tell you this folks, you may miss out on a great guy because you're dating multiple people and you get hooked with the wrong person and you might let go of a great person because you're spreading yourself too thin and I'm not a big proponent of that. Look it, it only takes three weeks to decide if you like a person. If you see each other once or twice a week, over three or four week period of time, you'll ultimately know whether or not you wanna explore a relationship with them. And if you followed my principles in this conversation about being radically honest in the get-go, you might avoid the need to date multiple people to protect yourself.  I'm a big proponent of having an open heart, knowing yourself, having that self-discipline, knowing that you won't get attached to the wrong person because you've done the inner work to get there. And if you need some help doing the inner work, I highly recommend doing the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a great book to really heal the childhood wounds and traumas that cause us to choose the wrong people in our lives. This is a 50 hours of worth of work and I think every one of you is worth it. So that's my thoughts on dating multiple people at a time. When you come from a healthy place within, you hold space for the right person to come in your life and then you only need to date that one person and state in multiple people to protect your heart. Hope that helps. Thank you so much for that question. All right, let's go swimmin', let's go swimmin'. Okay, Judy says, question. Dating man for about six weeks and he definitely copied and pasted me in his future. Is this too soon or a good sign? I love this, copy and pasted me. For those who are not familiar with the work of, where is she? Allison Armstrong, Allison Armstrong. She's a very sweet friend of mine. She wrote the book called The Queen's Code.  Now I have a different terminology. I call it future rising or try it on for size.  And for those of you, everybody knows what lust is.  And limerence is extreme infatuation. When I feel extreme infatuation, I'm like, matter of fact, if I have a wedding to go to, I'm like thinking, how can I get her on the guest list? If I've got a trip planned, I figure how can I get her to go with me on that trip? If I've got an event to go to, I'm like, oh, how do I get that person to go with me? And I start describing it. And this happens very early on. This is because men, when we like someone and when we're enthusiastic, we wanna try it on for size to see if this person can fit into our life. That's a great sign when a guy does that. Now, for some of you, that might feel like he's coming on too strong. I'm gonna repeat that. That might seem like he's coming on too strong. And yet some of the nicest high value, high quality men do this. So is it a red flag that he might do it? And I know that wasn't the question. Red flags merely mean ask more questions. Just recognize this, ladies. When a guy is excited, that's a good thing. If he's more focused on the sex, that's not a good thing, okay? But when he's excited, that's a good thing. That doesn't mean you two are right for each other. It doesn't mean that you're the right relationship for one another, but that's certainly a good start. Don't we want to be excited? Don't we wanna get enthusiastic? Don't we want, by the way, women used to do this all the time. They would be going Catherine Asley, Sharon Asley, Tammy Asley, trying out my last name on for size.  But so it's very common to feel and want those things. So cut and pasting, I call it trying it on for size or futurizing. It's a very common thing men do. I just consider that a yellow flag, not a red flag, not a green flag, it's just a yellow flag.  And this happens too, because not everybody is compatible with one another. Not everybody shares the same values, has blendable lifestyles or emotional maturity. All right, great question. Thank you so much for that one. I really appreciate it. I want to thank Tin for the super sticker as well. All right. Bum, bum, bum. Carol says, thank you for the coaching. The seasoned man that I thought was a good match had threwed my interest in me, found out he wasn't transparent. Thank you again for the coaching. You're very welcome. Okay. All right, question. Jennifer says, do you think never married men in their late 40s and 50s will ever want to get married? Single forever, great question. So there seems to be a significant percentage of men and women in their 40s and 50s and 60s who have not gotten married. It's an, I say significant percentage. It's still probably only about 25% of the population have reached that point where they're 50s, where they're not married. I heard in a long enough timeline, 90% of the population gets married. So that's an interesting statistic there. So for those ones who haven't gotten married, there's still a 50-50 chance that they might. I have a friend of mine who didn't get married until he was 45, had his first child at 48 years old or 49, no, no, 49 years old. So it's certainly possible. Here's the way I look at it. Okay. Someone who's been married and divorced, what makes them any better candidate to be in relationship? What if they've been married two or three times? What makes them a better candidate to be in relationship? I mean, they've had relationships that ended. Well, by the way, a person who never married could have had three significant relationships that all lasted eight years. That's a pretty big deal. What you might wanna look for is what's their relationship history? Because tying the not-not isn't necessarily a guarantee of commitment. Let me repeat that. Let me reframe that. Tying the not means getting committed. Committed, like going to the hospital. No, I'm just kidding. Committed, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they're capable of being in a relationship. And by the way, can you think about this? We have seen a proliferation in the last 50 years of marriages of 20 years or longer getting divorced. What does that say about our ability to choose good partners? You've been married for 20 years and got divorced? That number is huge. So that doesn't necessarily guarantee relationship success. Someone having been married before. Yes, they made a commitment once. By the way, think about this. And this came back from a previous question. What about those people that have been divorced that never wanna get married again? So you're almost in a catch 22. Think about that. A big percentage of people that have been married and got divorced don't wanna get married again. And the people never been married. You're rejecting them because they didn't make a commitment once. So here's the bottom line. Let's not focus on what their status was. Let's focus on their character now. Do that, and let's come back to the four signs you can trust a guy. Does he take personal responsibility for his choices? Does his actions consistently match his words? Is he, can you have radical honest conversations? And lastly, can you be transparent with one another? That's a better way to approach the dating, mating or relating process than whether or not they've been married before. Because let's face it, a big percentage of the divorce crowd don't ever wanna get married again. So I gotta scratch my ear. Sorry. All right, great question. Thank you so much. All right. Theresa says, gotta go Jonathan. Tune in next time. Thank you so much. Nicole says, that's cool. Thank you. Nicole says, I'd rather date a great guy just to know him first than dating multiple guys. I'm the same way. Thank you. Well, dating women anyway. All right. Let's go swim in. Let's go swim in. Coffee, coffee, coffee has a question. The guy I've been dating for six months told me he killed a nuisance stray cat on his property. In your opinion, is that a deal breaker? Whoa. I don't even know how to respond to that. You know, everybody, you have to, well, the thing is, I wouldn't ask Jonathan that question as a deal breaker. I would be asking myself, how do you feel about that? Was there a good reason for doing it? I'm not a big proponent of that. I would prefer somebody capture it and give it to SBC. What's the place you go to stray dogs and cats? I suspect that person had a reason behind it. But ultimately, you've got to decide that for yourself. That's not something I find very attractive, but everybody has their own points of view on things. You know, I would certainly want to find out what was his true reasoning about it, try to get a sense of that person's personality. I do appreciate that he was honest and he told you about it. That's something that's at least a good sign of trustworthiness that he shared that with you because some people might be reluctant to share that with you. So that's in that sense, it's a good sign, but you have to decide that for yourself. I don't know if that'd be a deal breaker for me, but I'd certainly be going, hmm, what else have they killed in their life? I'm just kidding. I've killed ants, I've killed flies, I've killed lots of things, but I haven't killed an animal like that.  I'm going off on a tangent here. That one, you have to decide for yourself. But thank you for the question, coffee, coffee, coffee. Honestly, I just didn't know how to answer that. Julia Asley, nope, won't work. Jonathan sounds like a backdoor buddies. Nope, nope, nope, you're funny. All right. All right, let's see what questions we have. Post the word question or purchase a super sticker, super chat. Jennifer says, thank you for answering my question about marrying late in life. I'm interested in 51 year old, never married man, great guy, he's been engaged, but ended it. Then I would just keep going. Again, divorce men aren't necessarily any greater guarantee that they're gonna want a relationship. All right. Sarah says, what does it mean when a man says another person says they're going to get married to you as they're talking to you? What does it mean when men say another person says you're going to get married to you? I don't understand that. So since it wasn't a question, we're gonna pass on that one. All right, let's see. If you have a question, post the word question. It makes it easier for me to find, oh, here we go. Joy says, question. It's been 10 years now since my fiance ended things. He's single now. His daughter says he wants to contact me. I don't know why. We ended on a bad note. I moved out west, unsure what to do. Wow, that's an interesting question. So if I understand correctly, the daughter reached out to you saying he wants to speak to you. Here's my feeling on this. While the door, while the relationship is over, we still have an energetic connection to the people that we've been intimate in our lives. Certainly if we've been intimate, both physically intimate and emotionally intimate, we have kind of a tether with these people. And oftentimes for some people, there's unfinished business. For some people, there might be a need for closure. For some people, they might want to share an apology. Isn't it interesting? One of the things in the 12 step program is to make amends. And sometimes when we've gone through a period of time, like 10 years in this particular case, maybe there's been some emotional growth on his part and he wants to make amends to you. Now, you may not feel comfortable in having that conversation. That's okay. That's a boundary you can set for yourself. And if you set that boundary, I'm not interested in engaging in a conversation with you, then that's okay. He doesn't get a chance to make his amends or maybe he can make his amends in writing to you, which a lot of people do, is they send a letter making amends and that way it doesn't create that uncomfortable conversation if you're talking face to face or over the phone or FaceTime or that sort of thing. So in this particular case, you've got to decide what's right for you. I'm here to say most likely, there is this tether from his part or from your part that has the two of you connected. There might be some unfinished business. There might be the need to make amends. That's just one of the possibilities. If you have love in your heart and you know that you are loving on yourself, then it doesn't matter what he says, you feel in your sovereignty, your self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence, it's okay. Or you can pass on it, that's okay too. You just got to decide for yourself what's right for you. Enjoy, that was a great question. Thank you so much. All right, jazz mom says, question, I'm 35 and started dating a man 10 years younger. What's your thoughts or concerns on dating a younger man? So I once did a video on this. It's related to probably the over 40 crowd of women, but here's the thing about dating a 25 year old man when you're 35. I'm thinking of my son, where's Colin? There's a picture of him, he just turned 25. I hope to God, I mean, he just started dating someone. I'm praying for him, I'm praying for him, I'm praying for him. And what I mean to say is I hope it's something that has some potential because he seems like this great person. Here's the thing. Some men like my son Colin are very mature old souls. They might be, make good candidates for someone older. In fact, they might be better candidates to be with someone older from their perspective. A lot of young women for men that age are rather immature for men who are old souls and who are quite mature. So I'm a big proponent of that. If this person is rather an old soul or rather mature, it might work out fine between the two of you. The only thing is if you're past your baby making years, here's where it becomes problematic. I would say someone 25 is probably not ready to have children, when I say emotionally ready to have children, until he's been an adult for at least 10 to 15 years of adulthood. So that puts him at 28 to say 32. And if you start getting to the point where it's difficult to have children, then the scary part is he may end the relationship with you to go find someone he could have children with. So that's one of the challenges. If you already come to the table with children, a lot of men that age have a very difficult time taking on the emotional responsibility that comes with raising children. Now you didn't state that in your question, but if you do, that's one of the challenges. A lot of younger men aren't able to take on the emotional responsibility of someone else's children. It's hard enough to take responsibility for our own children, but someone else's children as well. So these are some of the things you might wanna consider. But on my gut, if he's an old soul and rather mature for his age, might be a good fit for the two of you. All right, great question. Thank you so much. All right. Oops. Again, you can purchase a super sticker, super chat to say thank you for the work I'm doing. That would really, I would really appreciate that. And again, the funds go to a scholarship fund. Here's our next question. How do you discover that men have held from their divorce? I don't wanna be their, or healed. Okay. How do you discover that a man is healed from their divorce? I don't wanna be the rebound or fun girl. Great question. So I wanna tell you the story about when after I, my now ex-wife and I decided to split up and I put myself out on the dating sites. In fact, it was six months into the dating process. And I was on Yahoo! Personals. Does anyone remember Yahoo! Personals? So I was on Yahoo! Personals and then eventually became match.com, or was it AOLpersonalsbecamematch.com? But on Yahoo! Personals, I met a woman and she said, how long have you been divorced? I said, well, I'm actually been separated five months. And she said, reach out to me in a year and a half, or excuse me, 18 to 24 months after your divorce and after you've had one to two transition relationships. I'm gonna repeat that one to two transition relationship. And I wrote her back. I go, no, no, I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready to be in relationship. Sure enough, a few months later I met this fantastic woman, great woman, three months into the relationship. I so wasn't ready for anything serious. And we ended it. That was my first relationship. And then about a year later, I had another relationship and I realized I so wasn't ready. And I was dating a lot. I mean, I was having some, I was serial dating and casually dating, but I realized I wasn't capable of a serious relationship. And then sure enough, two years later, that woman who I mentioned wrote me the message saying, reach out to me after 18 to 24 months or one or two transition relationship. This is when I actually became a dating coach at this time. I wrote her back and I said, I finally get what you meant. You are so right. I so wasn't ready for a relationship shortly after my divorce. I needed one or two transition relationship just to get a sense of my bearings. And quite frankly, the divorce was contentious. And the last thing you want is to deal with someone when they're going through a contentious divorce. So my feeling is this. It's very risky to date someone who hasn't healed from their divorce and hasn't healed from their dating process. So folks, I've been on a journey since my divorce for 15 years now. I've had a couple of relationships, significant. Well, I've had one significant relationship, a couple short-lived relationships. And a lot of that time I've been working on myself, a lot of work on myself. In fact, some people might be wondering why you're still single, Jonathan. Look, I've gone through a lot of trauma in the last few years of my life. My significant relationship ended four years ago. And then six months after that relationship ended, I lost my mother. There's a picture of my mom and dad. And then six months later, I lost my son. That's him caught it right there. I'm still probably healing from it. And there's fear in getting attached to somebody because I have a fear of abandonment now. I've been talking to my therapist about this. And while I feel rather secure in who I am, there's, I can't say that I'm not feeling a sense of fear. Have I fully healed? I don't know if I ever fully heal from the loss of my son. Does that mean I'm not capable of being in a relationship? No, that doesn't mean that. Healing is an ongoing process. What's most important is, are you catching someone? Here's the thing. I want you to think of they're going into the pit of despair. Are you catching them on the way down? Are you catching them at the bottom? Are you catching them on the way up? Are you catching them on the way out? I feel like I'm on the way out of the pit of despair. The tricky part is trying to figure out where they're at in this upside down belt, this bell curve, if you will. One of the reasons why I'm a coach is to help you ferret this stuff out sooner rather than later by being radically honest by asking tougher questions right from the get go, especially before the penis goes inside the vagina. You want to get a sense of how legit is this person? Healing is an ongoing thing for men and women alike. We're all healing in some way, shape, or form of abandonment, of trust issues, of fear. Everybody, the number one emotional health issue facing almost everybody is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable, and I'm not likable. So we're all dealing with emotional stuff. I'm a big proponent of doing work, whether it's therapy, whether it's personal development, whether it's self-help or spiritual work. It's why I wrote my book. It's a journey of personal development, self-help, and spiritual work. That's why I recommend all the time getting my book so you get started on this process. Do you have to be with someone who's going with therapy? No. Do you have to date someone who's going through personal development? No. Have they done some healing from their past? Those are some questions I'd want to have answered to determine if they may. And by the way, remember I started this broadcast off. The biggest challenge of all is most people lie to themselves. This is why you have to become a great detective, and this is why I teach everyone in my coaching how to pre-qualify your prospects. So if you need some help with that, again, schedule a call with me. All right, great question, thank you so much. Zenlife Balance, thank you for the 999 Super Sticker. I appreciate that. All right, there we go. Oops, wait, I'm going here. NJ says, I've been divorced for five years. I've had my two rebound dating situations, but most of the time has been spent healing and becoming my authentic self. Way to go, love that. Yay, all right. All right, we're gonna take, let's see. Ask the word, okay, here we go. Beth says, can we go for a latte next time on LA? I already feel like we're besties. Thanks for being so vulnerable and there for us. Oh, thank you, Beth, I appreciate that. Yes, for those of you that happen to be in Los Angeles, and if you happen to be in Redondo Beach, that's where I live, and if my schedule works out, there's a great coffee shop right up the way. I would be happy to treat for that cup of coffee if you happen to be in my neck of the woods and the timing works out, so thank you so much, Beth. Linda says, Jonathan, I understand you, Jonathan, you've been through. It's also doing so much better now, bless you. Thank you so much, folks. Listen, I don't preach anything I haven't done. The reason why I'm such a big proponent of doing personal development, self-help and spiritual work is because my hope is now I can show up as a better boyfriend, I can show up as a better partner because I'm more emotionally mature, because I'm capable of communicating my thoughts and feelings in a way that's seen, heard, and understood instead of dismissing my own feelings, but worse, dismissing someone else's feelings. When we dismiss our own feelings, we oftentimes will dismiss someone else's feelings, and at the end of the day, our feelings is what matters most in relationship other than the outside world, unless you are in the need to be in a co-dependent relationship where you need someone to financially support you, you might have to endure a lot of pain and suffering is the trade-off. I'm not a big proponent of that. Show up self-confidence, self-reliant with your self-esteem, your self-worth, do your best to show up that way.  Let's see if there's one last question. All right, this is gonna be the last question of the day. Question, how do I lovingly release someone who's not in the same space and who you care about, but it's not progressing, hope to remain good terms and friendly? Great question. So how do you end a relationship? I highly recommend reading the book. Conscious Uncoupling, Conscious Uncoupling by Catherine Woodward-Thomas. By the way, I'm on page 220, I'm on page 220 in this book, me and my ex-girlfriend, you have to read it to find out. The idea to lovingly say someone is just, first, do the Oreo cookie, do the Oreo cookie, start with a positive, then share what, you don't have to share the specific, just simply say this relationship isn't working for me, and end with something positive. You don't have to go into full detail what's wrong. Now you may have to share some of the things that are going up, start with something very positive, give the filling, and then end with something positive. Read this book first and that will help prepare you, okay? All right, this is gonna be our last question of the day because it was a super sticker, so bear with me. This is our last question of the day, everyone. Question, why does everything written from women say to stand back because men only want women they have to chase? It's so confusing, I don't chase, but the do nothing and wait is confusing. Okay, hold that thought for one second, everyone. Unfortunately, this book ruined it for many of you. This book is a, the book, the rules. It's a manipulated way of approaching relationships. So the idea is when you create tension, by keeping space, by keeping distance, a man will chase you and chase you and chase you because there's this belief that from a biological perspective, men love the hunt, men love the hunt, okay? That's the belief system that men love the hunt and men are natural hunters and natural chasers. Now let's think about the word hunt. What were men hunting in caveman days? Were they hunting, I wanna be in a relationship, I wanna be in a relationship, I wanna be in a relationship?  And they were competitive with their friends, okay?  Hunting has nothing to do with whether or not your relationship is gonna be successful because let's get real here, ladies.   He sees you as more worthy. That's not worthiness doesn't come from that. Yes, men are competitive oftentimes with other men. Men are territorial, they'll claim you, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're gonna make a great partner. So the reason why I don't like a lot of this dating rhetoric is because it temporarily hooks a guy, temporarily hooks a guy who is either emotionally immature or emotionally stunted or he's driven by his testosterone and not necessarily by the desire to be in a fully committed relationship. So I'm a big proponent for someone like myself. If you really wanna read a great book, thank you for the super sticker, I would read the book if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated.  That's the way I am encouraging everyone to look at, to look at a relationship like a two lane street. If he makes effort, you make effort. If you make effort, he makes effort. It's about mutual investment. This is one of the reasons why I love Matthew Hussie. I'm gonna talk about one of my contemporaries, Matthew Hussie. When you listen to one of his videos, he continually talks about mutual investment. When two people are mutually investing, you have a greater chance of forming a bond with someone other. You're mutually investing. If he's investing, and you're pulling away, he might temporarily capture you because he's doing it from an egoic space and not from a health centered, healthy, emotionally healthy place. So both mutually invest and then create a bond with one another. That's my invitation for everyone. I would rather you read this book than the book, The Rules, which is all manipulative and game playing. And that's what leaning back is to me is oftentimes a can be, I'm not saying is, but can be the idea that you're manipulating the guy to get him back. And that only works temporarily, but it doesn't necessarily guarantee longevity. And that's what I want for everyone is those longevity type relationships because they approach it as a grownup. And here's what I would recommend. I recommend purchasing two copies of the book, eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman.  These are eight great conversations to have to determine if you're compatible with one another. And that will go a long way to creating a healthier, happier relationship than leaning back. Who's with me on this? Can I please get an amen? All right, this would be a great place to wrap up today. All right. Folks, I wanna thank you so much for allowing me into your life today. Just as a reminder, the four signs the man is trust. What is it? Four signs you can trust your boyfriend. Number one, he takes personal responsibility for his choices. Number two, his actions consistently match his words. Number three, he's not afraid of radical honesty. And number four, he's transparent if it's material to the relationship. And those are great signs of trustworthiness. And I hope you start paying attention for that in the future. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below. I do my best to read all the comments and questions in the comment section. I wanna thank all those that you're on the live stream both on Instagram and on YouTube. Thank you so much. And I'm gonna wrap up today as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye.


The City of Cleveland has actually been great. They've really embraced us being here. They've really opened the doors to us. We are gathered here today at this memorial to remember that we are one nation with one flag. We are all proud to be free Americans that live in a free society made up of many people. I am a Bolster family member that came to Laier East in memory of the fallen. Bolster family member is a person who has lost a loved one serving in the military in combat. I lost my David. It's a great thing. I'm here for everybody, every name on that wall, but also for my David. My mission in life now is to keep his memory alive. And I think this is one of the little things which is a really huge thing to be able to continue to keep his memory alive. We've been out here, you know, 14 hours a day doing this and it's still, every one of the ceremonies we do is very emotional. If you happen to see a tee or I blame it on the wind blowing down the pier.


T-D-T-R-O-D-O-T-O-X-I-N, tetrodotoxan T-D-X is a potent neurotoxan. Its name derives from tetraodontiforms, an order that includes pufferfish, porcupina fish, ocean sunfish, and triggerfish. Several of these species carry the toxin. T-D-T-R-O-D-O-T-O-X-I-N was discovered in these fish and found in several other aquatic animals, e.g., in blue-ringed octopuses, rough skin nudes, and moon snails that is actually produced by certain infecting or symbiotic bacteria like Pseudoaltyrimonas, Pseudomonas, and Vigrio as well as other species found in animals. Tetrodotoxan is a sodium channel blocker. It inhibits the firing of action potentials in neurons by binding to the voltage-gated sodium channels in nerve cell membranes and blocking the passage of sodium ions responsible for the rising phase of an action potential into the neuron. This prevents the nervous system from carrying messages and thus muscles from flexing in response to nervous stimulation. Its mechanism of action, selective blocking of the sodium channel, was shown definitively in 1964 by Toshio Narahashi and John W. Moore at Duke University, using the sucrose gap voltage clamp technique.


From the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California, it's theCUBE, on the ground, with Accenture Labs 30th anniversary celebration. Hello everyone, welcome to the special CUBE coverage of Accenture Labs 30th years of celebration here at the Computer History Museum in Mountain View, California, the heart of Silicon Valley. I'm John Furrier with theCUBE. Our next guest is John Walsh, who's the Northern California Office Managing Director, as well as the General Manager of the P&L of Telecom, Hi-Tech and Meat Entertainment, three big P&Ls, plus running the whole territory. You've got a big celebration here. Thanks for joining me. Thanks for coming, John. It's great to have you. So first of all, Northern California, you got the Warriors in the backyard. I'm sure Accenture's got a box, schmoozing customers. You guys working with them at all?  We are working, we're pretty close with the Warriors as it turns out. As you know, the Warriors are building out their new stadium right down in the dog patch in San Francisco, and so we've been working with them to really design the fan experience before, during, and after the game, what that experience is going to look like. Being here in Northern California, you can imagine that's going to be a very, very tech forward experience. Hopefully it's going to kind of define the state of the industry. And we're proud to be a partner of the Warriors and part of that design. And what better topic to kind of, as a backdrop to the labs, Accenture Labs, 30 years here, looking forward to the next 30 years? I mean, the Warriors are the poster child, kind of like the Patriots are in football with respect to a culture, but they're innovative tech geeks too. They understand how to use technology for an outcome, not try to get an outcome out of their technology. They really understand that, and that's really kind of the ethos of the labs. I think that's exactly right. And obviously, you know, we can talk about the Warriors as much as you want, because I'm a huge fan, but you know, the way they've thought about actually changing the game through technology and embedding it in part of the way they actually build that experience out is one of the reasons why we partner well with them. Obviously, we'll leverage our labs capabilities and a lot of our labs practitioners in order to actually innovate, co-innovate with the Warriors. And I think all of us here in the Bay Area are going to be able to appreciate that in the coming years. Well, when the NDAs are expired or maybe even sooner, we'll have to come up to your office and get a deeper dive on the Warriors situation. So it's worth a bigger feature. But here at the labs at the Computer History Museum, better place to kind of talk about where the industries come from, where Accenture Labs has come from, and where it's going. So I got to ask you, you know, Arthur Anderson back at Big Six Accounting from 30 plus years ago to Anderson Consulting to Accenture really kind of was the ways of innovation that everyone talks about. Now, the next 30 years, we're looking down the throat of AI, blockchain, internet of things, using data at scale, cloud computing, quantum computing, really changing how companies are executing their business architecture, not just IT. I mean, it's a complete transformation, disruption. For sure.  I actually joined Arthur Anderson 30 some years ago. And I think we've always prided ourselves on being on that leading edge. And sort of our objective was to actually incorporate those new technologies, apply them to our enterprise client base and sort of be able to do that, you know, kind of be there and then be gone before our competitors get there. I think you'll see some of that tonight as we sort of walk you around the showcase here. But there's, you know, and you've heard this 100 times, John, there's never been a better time to be in the tech world to be able to actually look at kind of the breadth of technology opportunity that's here, how to apply that to our global enterprise base to create advantage, differentiation and change and change is what drives our business model. Yeah, and we were just talking with Mark, one of the senior directors of the labs, you know, talk about accounting firms and those kinds of data, way back in the day, they would instrument business. Now, as you guys are now in more 30 years, plus years later, the instrumentation's all in the data. So literally for the first time in the history of the world of business, you might not need accounting with blockchain and everything's instrumented. So there's no more questions that can't be answered, some level. So this is going to be like a complete new generation, next 30 years, pretty significant. Everything's instrumented and all kinds of disruptions around how a company organizes themselves. What is a sensuous vision? How do you guys talk to customers? Because not only is it mind blowing, it also is fear. Yeah, I don't adapt and move on, I can't get there. Yeah, well, I mean, and again, that is, I mean, that's kind of the nature of competition, that's always been the nature of technology. And right now, I think it's a combination of, the digital natives have been the ones that have kind of been pushing the envelope and putting pressure on every industry, every business model. And I think they've been out in front, we're seeing sort of our whole global client base adapt and respond and start to incorporate all of these and re-engineer their processes with the benefit of digital at every one of those layers. You mentioned analytics sort of and data is at the core of I think what will define success in the future for every enterprise in every industry. And that's really where we're spending our time with our customers. It's like, how do you take advantage of the data and the insight and the knowledge that you have to run your business more efficiently and to better serve customers, empower your employees to serve customers and to allow customers to better serve themselves with all these tools. We're here at the Computers Museum in your backyard, your territory, so you're obviously going to crash the party but I find it really compelling and rightfully so to be in Silicon Valley, but the world's changing. And they're going to help with the next 30 years. It's got a magic show here. So I got to ask you, as someone who leads the business who've been through the organization, how do you hire the next generation talent?  What's the profile? Is there an algorithm? Is there a formula that you have as you build out and continue to scale out your people? You got the innovation DNA in the culture. We do. We see that. We get the labs pumping on all cylinders. We see that. What's the people strategy? Diversity is key. We're seeing more women coming in the workforce certainly in Silicon Valley art territory. Has been great news lately for women. Right. What are you guys doing? So let me start last first with the diversity comment. I think we've been pretty public in terms of communicating sort of what the profile of our employee base looks like. All the statistics top to bottom from diversity, ethnic diversity, and gender diversity. Our CEO has recently made a commitment to be at 50-50 gender diversity by 2025. I don't think there's any other company that's sort of on our size and scale that's made that level of commitment. That's a moonshot. That's a moonshot level. Mars shot, what do you want to call it? It's a moonshot for sure. But the way we're looking at it is 50% of the IQ actually is there and we need to be able to be tapping into all of that. And for those folks, they're in the marketplace, they're just not at Accenture and we want to create an environment that actually brings all those folks in. Other than that, it's just, you know, it's basic. More data scientists. More data science. More engineers. More engineers. More computer science. And more people that are good at problem solving and naturally curious. And we have a pretty rigorous recruiting process and we also have a brand that I think attracts talent. We build deep relationships with universities, which helps kind of give us early access. I was talking to a couple of our interns who are here tonight like, wow, this is awesome. You know, and that's always been the recipe for Accenture. What do you say to the young college grads that are graduating undergraduate or a master's degree? Man, I'm going to land the job at Accenture. Good, it's a dream job at some level. What do you say to them? What do you look for? I'm looking for fill in the blank. What do you, when you say answer that question? I mean, for me, I'm looking for people that, you know, that love problem solving, right? That are naturally curious that like, you know, working Accenture's hard, right? So having that work ethic, that ability to be persistent on hard. You got to be skilled. You got to be skilled. You got to be skilled that you don't even get the interview if you don't have at least that much on your resume. But beyond that, you know, it's how they interact. We're a client, we're a client focused business as well. So, you know, having people that are actually able to, you know, to work as part of the team and work with clients is pretty critical. John, congratulations and the event's starting. Thanks for coming. I really appreciate it. John Walsh who runs the California, Northern California Managing Director as well as the P&L responsibility for telecom, high tech and meat entertainment. Here at the CUBE coverage of Accenture Labs, 30 year celebration at Computers Museum. I'm John Furrier for theCUBE. Thanks for watching.


Hey, this is Brett, and this 2018 Chevrolet Colorado Crew Cab 5.2 foot short box LT is stock number 13859Z. I am here at Summit Automotive in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin. You're new and used light-duty truck headquarters. This 2018 Chevrolet Colorado has the 3.6 liter V6 engine, which is a 305 horsepower. This truck has been fully safety and inspected by our service shop. It has a fresh oil and filter change. All the fluids have been checked and topped off. It has four brand new tires and brand new brake rotors all the way around, and it is 100% ready to go. Black clear coats of color. I shoot all my videos in 4k, and if you like the video, you can subscribe to my YouTube channel, which is youtube.com slash Summit Auto. Click the bell notifications to get updates on the videos I do each and every day, as well as having to access one of the largest catalogs of vehicle, and specifically truck walk rounds on YouTube. Looks really good down that side. This one comes with these 17 inch painted silver alloy wheels, and it has brand new Goodyear Wrangler Territory HT tires. These are 255, 65, R17s. They are brand new. Still have the little wear knobs on them. We put those on in our safety inspection. Frame and underbody up front looks really good. For a 2018, front fender is in fantastic condition. I didn't see any dents or dings on there. Headlight lenses are nice and clear, and the front bumper is in fantastic condition. I didn't see any scuffs, scrapes, cracks or anything on there. The hood is in really nice condition as well. Didn't see any major dents or dings on there. And the passenger side front fender looks really good too. The only thing I really noted on the truck is this passenger side front wheel. There's a couple little scuffs right there. I'm probably gonna have our wheel guy take care of that later this week. As you go down this side of this 2018 Chevy Colorado, take note of how clean that body is, how reflective and mirror like that paint is. I take these HD videos so if you're far away or even if you're close by and you just cannot make the trip down but you're still interested in purchasing the vehicle, you can see the truck, hear the truck and have confidence in the vehicle that you're looking at before you even get here. So when you do get here, there's absolutely no surprises and you can make a smart and informed buying decision from wherever you're at. If this video helps you make that buying decision, let your salesmen know that you saw the video, that it was helpful and that Brett sent you. Back wheel is absolutely perfect. You can see those new break rotors in there. We put those on in our safety inspection as well and the back tires are brand new as well. Frame and underbody looks really good on this truck. It's like that all the way underneath. Looks really good for a 2018. Lower rockers look good as well. Didn't see any corrosion on them. And the passenger side box, no major dents or dings in there. Coming around to the back you do get the rear bumper steps, the towing package with the receiver hitch and seven pin wiring back here. Rear bumper is in pretty nice shape and the tailgate is in excellent condition as well. Does have the locking tailgate and an access soft roll-up tonneau cover. I didn't see any rips or tears on there. That looks really good as well. The bed does have some light duty usage, but nothing a bed liner could not fix. It's definitely been used as a truck, but that's what trucks are for, right? Going down the driver's side just as clean as that passenger's side. No dents or dings in the box. And for full disclosure, there's back wheel. Absolutely perfect. Does have the capitalist fuel fill, which is a really nice feature. Never get gas on your hands again. And the cab and doors all look really good as well. So look how reflective that paint is. Very nice condition.  No rips or tears on the seats. They're in really nice shape. Power driver's seat, factory floor mats, auto headlamps, turn dial four-wheel drive, power windows, locks and mirrors. Take a quick look at the back seats. They are just as clean as the front seats. You get the latch child safety system for any child car seats you may have. These headrests do fold down for better visibility. Factory floor mats back here, two USBs and a 12 volt power point. And these seats need two hands for this. These seats go up like so. There is a little bit of storage underneath there, and then they lock into place. And then this handle is how you get them back down. Inside and bottoms of the doors all look fantastic. Hop inside, check out the miles, the radio and everything that this truck has to offer on the interior. You can see that this one has 78,735 miles. You do get the digital speedometer on there, and we're going to start it up. Starts right up. No check engine lights or anything like that. And yes, we are going to be putting some gas in this truck right after this video. Instrument cluster is very nice and clean. Get that digital speedometer on there. Leather wrap steering wheel. Blue tooth and information center controls on the right cruise controls on the left. You do get audio controls on the back of the steering wheel. This one comes with the Chevy MyLink system. You get AM, FM, and serious satellite radio capabilities. This one also has projection manager where you can project your cell phone to the screen via Android Auto or Apple CarPlay. So if you have a NAV system on your cell phone such as Waze or Google Maps project it right to the screen, then it's like you have Navra in the screen because this one doesn't have the factory navigation system. And you can check out your backup camera right there. And that is working nicely. Down here are your volume tune and climate controls. Stability control. That's for your cargo lamps and then tow hall mode. Automat or AUGS and USB hookups there. And then your automatic transmission. I believe this is a six speed automatic in this truck. Passengers side, floor mat and seat are in excellent condition. The headliner is in really nice shape as well. I didn't see any rips or tears on that. And you do get map lights up there. This one does have on-star and SOS buttons in the mirror. And we'll take a quick look under the hood. I would personally like to thank you for checking out the video today. And hopefully from this HD video you've been able to verify the quality condition options and of course cleanliness of this truck all the way around inside and out. Under the hood we have the 3.6 liter of the 6 engine. Engine bay is very clean, runs very smooth. Once again this truck has been fully safety and inspected by our service shop. Has a fresh oil and filter change. All the fluid tab been checked and topped off.  It has four brand new tires. Brand new brakes all the way around. And there is the emission sticker. And this truck is 100% ready to go. I would highly recommend it from a quality and condition standpoint. And to see more pictures of this truck or one of our other 550 new cars, trucks, SUVs, minivans, Wranglers, halftones, three-quarter tons, one-tons, you name it. We've got to go to that website right there, summitauto.com. Full pictures and descriptions of every single vehicle. All at summitauto.com. And if you'd like to check out more HD videos you can go to youtube.com slash summitauto. Click the bell notifications to get updates on the videos I do each and every day. As well as having access to one of the largest catalogs of vehicle and light duty truck walk-arounds on YouTube. 8,000 videos and counting. In fact in a second you will see a link to subscribe to my YouTube channel on the upper left. It links more Colorado videos I've done in the upper right. A link to this vehicle on our website on the lower left and a link to one of our latest YouTube videos in the lower right. Click those, check us out. And we're super excited to help you with this ultra clean 2018 Chevrolet Colorado LT Crew Cab 5.2 foot short box in black clear coat. Thanks again for checking out the video. Remember to like, subscribe, and share on the YouTube channel. I really appreciate it. Thanks again.


Hey everyone, it's Missy. Thank you for watching. Today's tutorial is this crown braid hairstyle. This is one of my very favorite hairstyles to wear during the summer because it's a great heatless hairstyle. Make sure to subscribe to my channel if you're new or if you haven't yet, and let's begin. For this style, I've got my part on the right side, and then I'm just going to create a zigzag part down the back of my head to divide my hair into two sections, a left side and a right side. Then I'm just going to clip away the hair on the right side. Now with the hair on the left side, I'm going to divide out a section of hair to frame my face. Then I'm going to pick up a section near the hairline to start my braid, so I'm dividing this into three smaller pieces, and I'm going to cross the side strands under the middle strand for the first stitch of the braid. Then I'm going to cross the right strand under the middle and start incorporating new sections into the braid, so I'm picking up a piece and crossing it under the middle strand. Then I'm crossing the left strand under the middle strand, picking up a new section of hair and crossing it under the middle strand as well. So once more, I'm crossing the right strand under the middle, picking up a new section of hair and crossing it under under it into the middle strand. Then I'm crossing the left strand under the middle, picking up a new section and crossing it under the middle strand as well. So I'm just going to repeat those steps, continuing to braid the hair on this side of my head and a Dutch braid. And as I braid, I just wanna make sure to keep this braid lower on my head closer to my ear because we're going to wrap the other braid above this one. So keeping this one lower will help the braids lay more smoothly together. Now once I've added all of the hair from this side of my head into the braid, I'm just going to continue braiding the section in a regular three-strand braid and then secure the bottom with two bobby pins so it doesn't unravel. Now I'm going to let down the hair on the right side that I clipped away and I'm just going to repeat the same steps and braid this section into a second Dutch braid. So again, I'm picking up a section near the part, dividing it into three smaller pieces and I'm going to start by crossing the side strands under the middle strand and then begin incorporating new sections into the braid. And as I'm braiding, I'm going to make sure to keep this braid a little bit higher on my head because the braid from the left side is going to be wrapped and pinned underneath this braid. So I just want to make sure to create a space for the braids to lay smoothly next to each other. So then once I've added all of the hair in from this side of my head, you just want to continue braiding the section down to the ends in a regular three-strand braid and then secure the bottom with bobby pins so it doesn't unravel. Once both braids are done, I'm just going to spray the hair with hairspray and then I'm going to go back over each braid and gently pull on the edges. This will make the braids look wider and more full. This is an extra step and you can skip this if you like to keep your braids nice and tight, but I like to make my braids look as big as I can and this will also help hide any gaps in between the two braids once they are pinned in place. So then once I've pulled them apart a little bit, I'm just going to take the braid from the left side of my head and wrap it underneath the right braid. Then I'm going to slide some bobby pins into the middle of the braid, pushing them along the length of the braid and this will pin the braid against my head while also hiding the bobby pins underneath the hair and then I'm just going to pin down the ends of the braids of the top of my head, removing the bobby pins that were at the end of the braid. Then I'm going to do the same thing with the braid on the right side and this one I'm going to lay along the top of the left braid, pinning the braid down the middle to hide the pins underneath and then use more bobby pins to secure the end of the braid at the top of my head. That wraps up today's video, make sure to click the thumbs up if you want to see more heatless hairstyles like this one and make sure to subscribe to my channel if you're new or if you haven't yet, that way you won't miss out on any future videos. Thank you so very much for watching and I will see you next time.