Book 9, Chapter 7 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org, reading by Lars Rolander. Camilla or a Picture of Youth by Fanny Burney, Chapter 7. Brides and No Brides In the Hall of the Cleves Mansion, the party from Southampton was received by Sir Yug, Mr. Tyrold, and Lavigne. The Baroness greeted in particular the two nieces he regarded as bride-select, with an elation that prevented him from observing their sadness, while their confusion at his mistake he attributed to the mere bashfulness of their situation. He inquired nevertheless with some surprise why the two bridegrooms did not attend them, which he owned he thought rather odd, though he supposed it might be only the new way. The changing colour and starting tears of the two sisters still escaped his kindly occupied but undiscerning eyes, while Mr. Tyrold, having tenderly embraced, avoided looking at them from the fear of adding to their blushes, and sat quiet and grayed, striving to alleviate his present new and deep sorrow by participating in the revived happiness of his brother. But Lavigne soon saw their mutual distress, and with apprehensive affection watched an opportunity to investigate its cause. But come, cried Sir Yug, I shan't wait for those gentlemen to show you what I've done for you, seeing they don't wait for me, by their following their own way which however I suppose they may be with their lawyers. None of those gentlemen having been here, which I think rather slow, considering the rooms are almost ready, he would now have taken them round the house. But nearly expiring with shame, they entreated to be excused, and insupportably oppressed by their cruel discovery they had to divulge, stole a part to consult upon what measures they should take. They then settled that Camilla should accompany Mr. Tyrold to Edrington, but keep off all disclosure till the next morning, when Eugenia would arrive and unfold the sad tidings. When they returned to the parlor, they found Sir Yug in the innocence of his heart, had forced Indiana, Miss Margland and even Dr. Orkbon to view his improvements for the expected nachos, judging their disinterestedness of their pleasure by his own, though to the two ladies nothing could be less gratifying than preparations for a scene in which they were to bear no part and the doctor thought every evil genius at work to detain him from his study and his manuscripts. But was the oddest, cried the baronet, of all is nobody's coming for poor Indiana which I could never have expected, especially in the point of taking off little Eugenia first, whom her own cousin did not think pretty enough, which I can never think over and above good natured in him being so difficult. However, I hope we shall soon forget that, now for which reason I forgive him. Indiana was so much peaked, she could scarce refrain from relating the portico history at Lord Purvils, but the baronet not remarking her discomposure turned to Camilla and Eugenia smilingly exclaiming, Well, my dear girls, I shan't mention what we have been looking at in your absence because of your blushes, which I hope you approve, but we shall soon I hope see it all together, without any of your modest disminding it. I shall have to pinch a little for it the rest of the year, which, God knows, will be a pleasure to me, for the sake of my two dear girls, as well as of Mr. Edgar, not to mention the new young gentleman, who seems a pretty kind of person, too, though he is not one of our own relations. He was rather disappointed when he found Camilla was to go to Edrington, but desired there might be a general meeting the next day, when he should also invite Dr. Marchmont, for I think, said he, he's as little proud as the best done amongst us, which makes me like him as well, and I can't say but I was much obliged to him that day about the mad bull, as if he had been one of my nephews of nieces himself, which is what I shan't forget. In the way back to Edrington, Camilla could scarce utter a word, and La Vina, who had just gathered from her in a whisper, all is over with Edgar, with divided but silent pity, looked from her father to her sister, thought of her brother, and wept for all three. Mr. Tyrold alone was capable of any exertion, unwilling to give Camilla whom he concluded impressed with the thousand solicitudes of a impending change of situation. Any abrupt account of her brother's cruel conduct, he spoke with composure, though not with cheerfulness, and hoped by a general gravity, to prepare without alarming her, for the ill news he must inevitably relate. But he soon, however, observed an excess of sadness upon her countenance, far deeper than what he could attribute to the thoughts he had first suggested, and folly different from an agitation in which, though fair bears apart, hope preponderates. It now struck him that probably Lionel had been at Southampton, for so wide was every idea from supposing any mischief with Edgar, that like Sir Eub, upon his non-appearance, he had concluded him engaged with his lawyer. But of melmant less sure he had been more open in inquiry, and with inexpressible concern for his beloved and unfortunate Eugenia, gathered that the affair was ended, though her succeeding plan by her own desire, Camilla left for her own explanation. When they arrived at Edrington, taking her into his study, Camilla, he said, tell me, I beg, do you know anything of Lionel? An unrestrained burst of tears convinced him his conjecture was right, and he soon obtained all the particulars of the meeting, except its levity and flightiness, where directly questioned no sisterly tenderness could induce her to filial prevarication. But she rejoiced to spare her brother all exposure that mere silence could spare, and as Mr. Tyrol suspected not her former knowledge of his extravagance and ill conduct, he neither asked nor heard anything beyond the last interview. At the plan of going abroad, he sighed heavily, but would take no measures to prevent it. Lionel, he saw, was certain of being cast in any trial, and though he would not stretch out his arm to avert the punishment, he thought dessert he was not sorry to change the languid waste of imprisonment at home for the hardships with which he might live upon little abroad. A calamity such as this seemed causeful sufficient for the distress of Camilla. Mr. Tyrol sought no other, but though she wept now at liberty, very freedom from suspicion and inquiry increased her anguish. Your happy fate, cried he, is what most at this moment supports me, and to that I shall chiefly owe the support of your mother, whom a blow such as this will more bitterly try than the loss of our whole income, or even than the life itself of your brother. Her virtue is above misfortune, but her soul with shudder at guilt. The horror of Camilla was nearly intolerable at this speech, and the dreadful disappointment which she knew yet to be awaiting her beloved parents. Take comfort, my dearest girl, said Mr. Tyrol, who saw her suffering. It is yours for all our sakes to be cheerful, for to you we shall owe the worthiest of sons, and the piercing juncture when the weakest and most faulty fails us. Oh, my father!" she cried. Speak not such words. Lionel himself, she was going to say, has made you less unhappy than you will be made by me, but she dares not finish her phrase. She turned away from him her streaming eyes, and stopped. My dearest child, he cried, Let not your rising prospects be thus damned by this cruel event. The connection you have formed will be a consolation to us all. It binds to us for life a character already so dear to us. It will afford to our Lavenia should we leave her single a certain asylum. It will give to our Eugenia a counselor that may save her hereafter from fraud and ruin. It may aid poor Lionel when sometime hence he returns to his country to return to the right path when so widely he has strayed, and it will heal with lenient bound the wounded bleeding bosom of a meritorious but deeply afflicted mother. While to your father, my Camilla, These last words were not heard. Such a mention of her mother had already overpowered her, and unable to let him keep up his delusion, she supported her shaking frame against his shoulder, and exclaimed in a tone of agony, Oh, my father, you harrow me to the soul. Edgar has left me, has left England, left us all. Shocked yet nearly incredulous, he insisted upon looking at her. Her countenance impelled belief. The woe it expressed could be excited by nothing less than the deprivation of every worldly expectation, and a single glance was an answer to a thousand interrogatories. Mr. Tyrell now sat down with an air between calmness and despondence, saying, And how has this come to pass? Again she got behind him, and in a voice scarce audible said, Eugenia would the next morning explain all. Very well, I will wait. He quietly, but with palpably stifled emotions, answered, Go, my love, go to Lavinia. Open to her your heart. You will find consolation in her kindness. My own, I confess, is now weighed down with sorrow. This last and unexpected stroke will demand some time, some solitude, to be yielded to as it ought. He then held out to her his hand, which he could scarcely approach from trembling and scarcely kiss for weeping, and added, I know what you feel for me, and know too that my loss to yours is nothing, for yours is not to be estimated. You are young, however, and with yourself it may pass away, but your mother, my heart Kamila, is rent for your unfortunate mother. He then embraced her, called Lavinia, and retired for the night. Terribly it passed with them all. The next morning before they assembled to breakfast, Eugenia was in the chamber of Kamila. She entered with a bright beam upon her countenance, which in defiance of the ravaging distemper that had altered her gave it an expression almost celestial. It was the pure emanation of virtue, of disinterested, of even heroic virtue. Kamila, she cried, all is settled with my uncle, Indiana, you will not wonder consents, and already this morning I have written to Mr. Mel. With all her excitation her voice faltered at the name, and with a faint smile, but deep blush, she called for the congratulations of her sister upon her speedy success. Ah, far more than my congratulations! My esteem, my veneration is yours, dear and generous Eugenia, true daughter of my mother, and proudest recompense of my father. She was not sufficiently serene to give any particulars of the transaction, and Mr. Tyrol soon sent for her to his room. Kamila, trembling and hanging over her, said, you will do for me, I know better than I could do for myself, but spare poor Lionel, and be just to Edgar. Eugenia strictly obeyed, in sparing Lionel she spared also her father, whom his highly unfeeling behavior, with regard to Sir Sedley, would yet further have incensed and grieved, and in doing justice to Edgar, she flattered herself, she prevented an alienation from one yet destined to be nearly allied to him, and in time, she still hoped, would effect the reconciliation of Kamila with the youth, whom, next to Melmond, she thought the most aimable upon earth. Mr. Tyrol by this means gathered no further intelligence, than that they had parted upon some mutual, though slightly satisfaction. He hoped, therefore, with Eugenia, they might soon meet again, and resolved, till he could better judge what might prove the event, to keep this distress from Sir Eub. He then met Kamila with the most consolatory kindness, yet would not trust her ardent mind, with the hopes he cherished himself, dreading infinitely more to give than to receive disappointment. He blamed her for admitting any doubts of the true regard of Edgar, in whom promise was always short of performance, and whom he conceived displeased by unjust suspicions, or offended by undue expectations of professions, which the very sincerity of his rational and manly character prevented him from making. Kamila heard in silence suggestions she could not answer, without relating the history of Sir Sedley. No, Lionel, no, she said to herself, I will not now betray you. I have lost all, and now the loss to me is irreparable. Shall I blast you yet further to my poor father, whose deepest sigh is already for your misconduct? The story of Eugenia herself he learned with true admiration, and gave to her magnanimity its dearest mead, in her mother's promised and his own immediate approbation. But Sir Eub, notwithstanding all Eugenia could urge in favour of Melmont, had heard her account with grief and resentment. All, however, being actually ready for the double wedding, he could not, he said, answer to his conscience, doing so much for the rest, and refusing the same for Indiana, whom he called upon to accept or reject the preparations made for Arcasin. Indiana stood fluttering for a few minutes between the exultation of being the first bride and the mortification of marrying a man without fortune or title. But the observation of Sir Eub upon the oddity of her marrying the last, she was peaked with a most earnest ambition to reverse. Nor did Melmont himself go for nothing in this affair, as all she had of heart he had been the first to touch. She retired for a short conference with Miss Marglund, who was nearly in an equal dilemma, from unwillingness to dispose of her beautiful pupil without a title, and from eagerness to quit cleaves which she thought a convent for dullness and a prison for confinement. Melmont had strongly in his favour the received maxim amongst matchmakers that a young lady without fortune has a less and less chance of getting off upon every public appearance, which they call a public failure. Their joint deliberations were, however, interrupted by an abrupt intrusion of Molly Mill, who announced she had just heard that Miss Dennell was going to be married. This information ended the discussion. The disgrace of a bridal appearance anticipated in the neighbourhood by such a chicked, made Indiana hastily run downstairs and tell her uncle that the merit of Melmont determined her to refuse everybody for his sake. A man and horse therefore at break of day the next morning was sent off by Eugenia to Southampton with these words. To Frederick Melmont Esquire You will be welcome, sir, at cleaves where you will forget, but I hope every painful sensation in the happiness which awaits you and dismiss all retrospection to return with sincerity the serene friendship of Eugenia Tyrold. Mr Tyrold now visited cleaves with only his younger daughter and excused the non-appearance there for the present of Camilla, acknowledging that some peculiar incidents which he could not yet explain kept Mandelbert away and must postpone the celebration of the marriage. The vexation this gave Sir Eub redoubled his anxiety to break to him the evil by degrees if to break it to him at all should become indispensable. End of Chapter 7 Read by Lars Rolander Book 9 Chapter 8 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org reading by Lars Rolander. Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney Chapter 8 A Hint for Depters Mr Tyrold was well aware that to keep from Sir Eug the affliction of Camilla he must keep from him Camilla herself. For though her size she could suppress and her tears disperse her voice had lost its tone, her countenance its deity her eyes no longer sparkled, her very smiles betrayed anguish. He was the last to wonder at her sufferings for Edgar was nearly as dear to him as herself and he knew not that, added to his annihilation of happiness her peace was consumed by her secret knowledge of the blows yet impending for himself and for her ankle. Concealment always abhorrent to her nature had till now been unknown even to her thoughts and its weight from a species of culpability that seemed attached to its practice was a time more dreadful to bear than the loss even of Edgar himself. The latter blackened every prospect of felicity but the former still more tremendous to the pure principles in which she had been educated seemed to strike even at her innocence. The first wish of an ingenious mind is to anticipate even inquiry the feeling therefore that most heavily weighs it down is any fear of detection. While there were at breakfast the following morning the servant brought in the name of Dr. Marchmont. Camila felt nearly fainting why he was come whence whether Edgar accompanied him or sent by him any message whether he were returned to Beach Park or sailed for the continent where doubts that pressed so fast and so vehemently upon her mind that she feared to quit the room lest she should meet Edgar in the passage and fear still more to continue in it lest Dr. Marchmont should enter without him. Mr. Tyrold who participated in all her feelings and shared the same ideas gently committed her to La Vigna and went into his study to the doctor. His own illusion was there quickly destroyed the looks of Dr. Marchmont voted nothing that was happy they were not their customary expression the gravity of Mr. Tyrold showed a mind prepared for ill news if not already oppressed with it and the doctor after a few general speeches delivered the letter from Edgar. Mr. Tyrold received it with a secret shuddering where he said is Mandelbart at present I believe by this time at the Hague this sentence with the grieve yet still air and tone of voice which accompanied it was death at once to every flattering hope he immediately read the letter which conceived in the tenderest terms of reverence and affection took a short and simple though touchingly a respectful leave of the purposed connection and demolished at once every distant view of future conciliation he hung his head a moment and sighed from the bottom of his heart but the resignation which he summoned upon every sorrow was never death to his call and when he had secretly ejaculated a short and silent prayer for fortitude to his beloved wife he turned calmly to the doctor and began conversing upon other affairs Dr. Marchmont presumed not to manifest the commissuration with which he was filled he saw the true Christian enduring with humility misfortune and the respectable parent supporting the dignity of his daughter by his own to the first character complaint was forbidden to the second it would have been degrading he looked at him with veneration but to spare further useless and painful efforts soon took leave Mr. Tyrell shaking hands with him said as they were parting when you write to Mandelbart to assure him of my constant affection the world Dr. Marchmont is too full of real evil for me at least to cause one moment of unnecessary uneasiness to any of its poor pilgrims it is strange my dear doctor this is not more generally considered since the advantage could be so reciprocal from man to man but wrapped up in our own short moment we forget our neighbor's long hour and existence is ultimately embedded to all by the refined susceptibility for ourselves that monopolizes our feelings Dr. Marchmont who in this last sentence construed a slight reflection upon Edgar expressively answered our sensibility for others is not always dormant of course not apparent how much a worth and excellence may two characters separately possess where yet there are disuniting particles which impede their harmonizing with each other Mr. Tyrell powerfully struck so now the general nature of the conceptions which had caused this lamented breach he could not concur but he would not attempt to controvert opinion in this case must have even the precedence of justice if Edgar thought his daughter of a disposition with which his own could not sympathize it were vain to expatiate upon her virtues or her sweetness that one doubt previously taken might bother assimilating efficiency comprehending therefore the course at large he desired no detail the words of Dr. Marchmont though decisive were not offensive and they parted perfect friends each perceiving yet forgiving that each cast upon the other the error of false reasoning Edgar to the one and Camilla to the other appearing faultless in the separation but not in the tasks which succeeded were their offices as easily to be compared Dr. Marchmont wrote to Edgar that all was quietly relinquished and his measures were honorably acquitted while Mr. Tyrell shot up in his study spent there some of the severest minutes of his life in struggling for the equanimity he coveted to pronounce to his daughter this last doom pity for her suspense accelerated his efforts and he then sent for her downstairs his utmost composure in such an interview was highly necessary for both the pale and trembling Camilla advanced with downcast eyes but when he took her in his arms and kissed her a sudden ray of hope shot across her quick imagination and she looked up and instant was now sufficient to rectify her mistake the tenderness of her father were no air of congratulation it was the mere offspring of compassion and the woe with which it was mixed though mild though patient was too potent to require words for explanation the glance sufficed her head dropped her tears in torrents bathed his bosom and she retired to La Vigna while yet neither of them had spoken Mr. Tyrell contented with virtuous exertions demanded not impossibilities he left to nature that first grief which too early exhortation or control rather in flames than a pieces he then brought her back to his apartment he conjured her there to remember that she grieved not alone that where the tears flowed not so fast from the eyes the sources were not dry whence they sprung while sorrow was sometimes the most suffering alas, my dearest father to think you mourned too and for me will that lessen what I feel yes, my dear child via generous duty it will point out to watch that the excess of one affliction involve you not in another what a motive she answered for exertion if the smallest part of your happiness of my honoured mothers depends upon mine I shall be unhappy, I think no more a gush of tears ill accorded with this fond declaration but Mr. Tyrell without noticing them kindly replied let your filial affliction my child check the inaudiency of your affliction and I will accept with pleasure for your virtuous mother and with thanks for myself your affliction which beginning for our sakes may lead you to that self-denial which is the parent of our best human actions and approximates us the most to what is divine broken hearted as was Camilla her sorrows would at least apparently have abated from consolation so tender if all she felt had been known if no latent and lurking evil had hung upon her spirits defeating all argument all comfort by the cruel consciousness of concealed mischief which while incessantly she studied the best moment for revealing accident might prematurely betray upon this subject her thoughts were unremittingly bent till in a few days time she received a letter from Mrs. Mitten informing her she had just seen the moneylender Mr. Clikes who finding her so much underage would not undertake the business for less than ten percent nor without a free premium of at least twenty pounds the latter demand so entirely out of her power to ground gave to her the mental strength she had yet sought in vain and determining to end this baneful secret she seized her own first moment of emotion to relate her father the whole of her distress and cast herself upon his mercy I shall be happier she cried much happier as with tottering steps she hurried to the study he will be lenient I know and even if not what displeasure can I incur so severe as the eternal apprehension of doing wrong but her plan the well-formed had fixed upon an ill-time moment for its execution she entered the room with an agitation rather sought than shun remarked that some inquiry might make an opening for her confession but Mr. Tyrell was intently reading a letter and examining some papers from which he raised not his eyes at her approach she stood fearfully before him till he had done but then still not looking up he lent his head upon his hand with a countenance so disturbed that alarmed from her design by the apprehension he had received some ill tidings from Lisbon she asked in a faint voice if the foreign post were coming I hope not he answered I shall look with pain at this moment upon the hand of your unhappy mother Camilla frightened knew not what to conjecture but gliding into her pocket the letter of Mrs. Mitten stood suspended from her purpose what a reception he presently added is preparing for that noblest of women when her exile may end that epoch to which I have looked forward as the brightener of my every view upon earth how is it now clouded giving her then the letter and papers the son, he said who once I had hoped would prove the guardian of his sisters the honour of his mother's days the future prop of my own seek, Camilla, on how sandy a foundation mortal man builds mortal hopes the letter was from a very respectable tradesman containing a complaint that for the three years Lionel had been at the university he had never paid one bill though he continually ordered new articles and begging Mr. Tyrol would have the goodness to settle the accounts being closed the young gentleman after fixing a day for payment having suddenly absconded without notice to anyone the sum you see continued Mr. Tyrol amounts to one hundred and seventy-one pounds a sum for my income enormous the allowance I made this cruel boy was not only adequate to all his proper wants and reasonable desires but all I could afford without distressing myself or enduring my other children yet it has served him I imagine but for pocket money the immense sums he has extorted from both his uncles must have been swallowed up at the gaming table into what wretched courses has he run these bills large as they are I regard but as forerunners of others all he has received he has squandered upon his vices and tomorrow and the next day and the next I may expect an increasing list of his debts from his Hatter, his Ossier, his Shoemaker, his Taylor and whoever he has employed Camilla overwelled with internal shame yet more powerful than grief itself stood motionless these expenses appeared but like a second part of her own with her milliner, her jeweler and her harbour dasher which now seemed herself not less wanton in extravagance surprised by her entire silence Mr. Tyrol looked up her cheeks rather livid than pale and the deepest may of her countenance extremely affected him the kindness of his embraces relieved her by melting her into tears though the speech which accompanied them was to her consciousness but reproach let not your sisterly feelings thus subdue you my dearest Camilla be comforted that you have given us no affliction yourself say what we must feel for your own undeservedly altered prospects no unthinking imprudence, no unfeeling selfishness as ever for an instant driven from your thoughts what you owe to your duty or weakened your pleasure in every endearing filial tie let this cheer you my child and let us all try to submit calmly to our general disappointment Grace thus ill-timed rather probed than healed her wounds am I punished, am I punished she internally exclaimed but could not bear to meet the eyes of her father whose indulgence she felt as if abusing and whose good opinions him now but a delusion again he made her over to the gentle Avenia for comfort and fearing serious ill effects from added misery exerted himself from this time to appear cheerful when she was present his predictions failed not to be fulfilled the application made by one creditor soon reached every other and urged similar measures bills therefore came in daily with petitions for payment and as Lionel still wanted a month or two of being of age his creditors depended with confidence upon the responsibility of his father nor here closed the claims springing from general ill-conduct two young men of fashion hard-pressed for their own failures stated to Mr. Tyrol the depths of honor owing them from Lionel and three notorious gamesters who had drawn in the unthinking youth to his ruin and forced the same information with a hint that if they were left unsatisfied the credit of the young man would fall the sacrifice of their ill-treatment the absence of Mrs. Tyrol that this period by sparing her daily difficulty as well as pain was rejoiced in by her husband though never so strongly had he wanted her aiding council her equal interest and her consoling participation obliged to act without them his deliberation was short and decisive for his measures but long and painful for their means of execution he had once determined to pay though for the last time all the tradespeople but the manner of obtaining the money required more consideration the bills when all collected amounted to something above 500 pounds which was but 100 short of his full yearly income of this he had always contrived to lay by 100 pounds annually which some with his accumulating interest was destined to be divided between Lavina and Camilla Eugenia required nothing and Lionel was to inherit the paternal little fortune the portion of Mrs. Tyrol which was small the state of her father having been almost all entailed upon Mr. Relville was to be divided equally amongst her children to take from the little horde which with so tender a care he had heaped for the daughters so large a share for the son and to answer demands so unduly raised and ill-deserved was repulsive to his inclination and shocked his strong sense of equal justice to apply to Mr. Relville would be preposterous for though upon him dwelt all his ultimate hopes for Lionel he knew him at this moment to be so suffering and so irritated by his means that to hear of any new misdemeanors might incense him to an irrevocable disinheritance with regard to Sir Eugen nothing was too much to expect from his generous kindness yet he knew his bountiful heart had always kept his income from overflowing and that for three years past Lionel had drained it without mercy his preparations also for the double marriages had of late much straightened him to take up even the smallest part of what in less expensive times he had laid by he would regard as a breach of his solemn vow which he imagined himself bound to leave Eugenia the full property she would have possessed had he died instantly upon making it reason might have shown this attire of super-erogation but where any man conceded himself obeying the dictates of his conscience Mr. Tyrold held his motives to sacred for dispute the painful result of this afflicting mediation was laying before his daughters the whole of his difficulties and demanding if they would willingly concur in paying their brothers bills from their appropriate little store by adopting an altered plan of life and severe self-denial of their present decent elegance to aid its speedy replacement their satisfaction in any expedient to serve their brother that seemed to fall upon themselves was sincere was even joyful but they jointly besought that the sum might be freely taken up and deducted forever more from the horde since no earthly gratification could be so great to them as contributing their might to prevent any deprivation of domestic enjoyment to their beloved parents his eyes glistened but not from grief it was the pleasure of virtuous happiness in their purity of filial affection but though he knew their sincerity he would not listen to their petition you are not yet saidy aware what your future calls may be for money what I have yet been able to say without this unexpected seizure would be inadequate to your even decent maintenance should any accident stop short its increase weep not my dear children my health is still good and my prospect of lengthened life seems fair would be however a temporal folly as well as a spiritual presumption to forget the precarious tenure of human existence my life my dear girls will be happier without being shorter for making provisions for its worldly cessation but sir but my father cried Kamila hanging over him and losing infillial tenderness of personal distresses if your manner of living is altered and my dear mother returns home and sees you relinquishing any of your small your temperate indulgences may it not yet more embitter her sufferings and her displeasure for the unhappy cause for her sake then if not for ours do not turn away dear sir cried Lavinya what mother ever merited to have her peace the first study of her children if it is not ours oh providence benign said Mr. Tyrol folding them to his heart how am I yet blessed in my children true and excellent daughters of my invaluable wife this little narration is the solace I shall have to offer for the grief I must communicate he would not however harken to their proposition his peace he said required not only immediate measures for replacing what he must borrow but also that no chance should have lieu in founding his usual annual sum for them all he would accept was the same severe forbearance he should instantly practice himself and which their mother when restored to them would be the first to adopt and improve and this till it then was answered they would all steadily continue and then with cheerful self-approven resume their wanted comforts Mr. Tyrol had two frequent views of the brevity of human life to postpone even from one son to another any action he deemed essential a new general system therefore immediately pervaded his house two of the servants with whom he best could dispense were discharged which hurt him more than any other privation for he loved and was loved by every domestic who lived with him his table always simple though elegant was now reduced to plain necessaries he parted with every horse but one to whose long services he held himself a debtor and whatever throughout the whole economy of his small establishment admitted simplifying deducting or abolishment received without delays its requisite alteration or dismission these new regulations were quietly but completely put in practice before he would discharge one bill for his son to whom nevertheless though his conduct was strict his feelings were still lenient he attributed it not to moral turpitude his errors nor his crimes but a prevalence of inexample and to an unjustifiable and dangerous levity which irresistibly led him to treat with mockery and trifling the most serious subjects the punishment however which he had now drawn upon himself would yet he hope touch his heart but the depths called depths of honour met not with similar treatment he answered with spirited resentment demands he deemed highly fleditious cancelling those who sent them when next they applied to an unhappy family those calamities they had contributed to inquire first of its principles as well as its fortune made the hazards of gaming amongst its domestic responsibilities End of Chapter 8 Read by Lars Rolander Book 9, Chapter 9 of Camilla This is a Librebox recording or Librebox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit Librebox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a Picture of Youth by Fanny Burney Chapter 9 A Lovers Eye The serenity of virtue would now again have made it subode the rest of Mr. Tirold but for the constant wretchedness to which he saw his daughter appraise With a binninessed pity he strode to revive her a pity unabated by any wonder unalloyed with any blame His wonder fell all upon Edgar whom he considered as refining away mortal happiness by dissatisfaction that it was not divine but his censor which he reserved fully for vice exonerated them both Still however he flattered himself that ere long to her youthful mind and native cheerfulness, tranquility if not felicity would imperceptibly return from such a union for exertion of filial and sisterly duties that industry would sweeten rest virtue, guilt, privation and self-accruence convert every sacrifice into enjoyment But peace such as this was far from her bosom while the desertion of Edgar had told the death bell to all her hopes An unremitting contention disturbed her mind whether to avow or conceal her situation with regard to the moneylender The reflections of every night brought a dissatisfaction in her conduct which determined her upon an openness the most undisguised for the following morning but timidity and the desire of reprieve from the fearful task again the following morning regularly postponed her purpose In the first horror occasion by her father's distress from the bills of her brother she wrote a supplicating letter to Mrs. Mittin to entreat she would endeavour to quiet her creditors till she could arrange something for their payment and while this produced a correspondence replete with danger, difficulty and impropriety a new circumstance occurred cruelly embedded her conflicting emotions La Vigna in the virtuous eagerness of her heart to forward the general economy insisted fully to relinquish for this year her appropriate allowance declaring that by careful management she could dispense with anything new and that the very few expenses she might find utterly unavoidable she would demand from time to time as they occurred Camilla at this proposition retreated in agony to her chamber to make the same was impossible for how then find interest for the moneylender yet to withstand so just an example seemed a disgrace to every duty and every feeling La Vigna who in her countenance and her abrupt departure read the new distress she had in cautiously excited with a thousand self-reproaches followed her she had considered but the common cause when she spoke without weighing the strange appearance of not being seconded by her sister but her mind was amongst the last to covet the narrow praise of insidious comparison and her concern for the proposal she had made when she saw its effect was as deep as that of Camilla in hearing it though not attended with the same aggravations Mr. Tyrol remained utterly surprised the generous and disinterested nature of Camilla made it impossible to suspect her restrained by a greater love of money than La Vigna and he could not endure to suppose her late visits to public places had rendered personal or economy more painful but he would make no inquiry that might seem a reproach nor suffer any privation or contribution that was not cheerful and voluntary the purchases for the wedding of Miss Dennell being now made that young lady came down to the country to solemnize her nuptials accompanied by Mrs. Mitten who instantly visited Camilla she could settle nothing she said with a money lender without the premium but she had coaxed all the creditors by assuring them that as the debtor was a great heiress they were certain of their money when she came to her estate Camilla could not endure to owe their forbearance to a falsehood though to convince Mrs. Mitten of her error in contradiction to the assertion of Lionel was a vain attempt the business however pressed and to keep back these but to just claimants her present most fervent desire Mrs. Mitten was amongst the most expert of expedient mongers and soon started a method for raising the premium she asked to look at what Camilla possessed of trinkets and the price earrings of Tunbridge the earrings and necklace of Southampton and several small toys occasionally given her were collected the locket she also demanded to make weight neither that nor the peculiar gifts as keepsakes of her father, mother or uncle consisting of a seal, a ring and a watch would she part with what she would relinquish however Mrs. Mitten disposed of to one of her numerous friends but they raised only when intrinsically valued sixteen pounds Lavigne then insisted upon coming forward with a contribution of every trinket she was worth save what had the same sacred motives of detention and the twenty pounds without any ceremony of acknowledgement were delivered to Mr. Clikes who then took into his own hands the payment of the hundred and eighteen pounds for which he received a bond signed by Camilla and witnessed by Mrs. Mitten and another note of hand promising ten percent interest for the sum till the principal were repaid these two notes he acknowledged were mere pledges of honour as the law would treat her as an infant but he never acted without them as they prevented mistakes in private dealings this important affair arranged Camilla felt somewhat more at ease she was relieved from hourly alarms and left the mistress to make her confession as circumstances directed but she obtained not for nothing the agency of Mrs. Mitten who was not a character to leave self out of consideration in her transactions for others and at every visit made at Edrington from this time she observed something in the apparel of Camilla that was utterly old-fashioned or too mean for her to wear but which would do well enough for herself when vamped up as she knew how her obligation sending an experience made it impossible to her to resist though at this season of saving care she gave up nothing which she could not have rendered useful by industry and contrivance during this unhappy period at Edrington a brighter though not unclouded scene was exhibited at Cleves Melmont arrived he was permitted to pay his addresses to the fair Indiana he'd felicitous celestial according to him even upon earth but this adored object herself suffered some severe repining at her fate when she saw from her window her lover gallop into the park without echipage, without domestics and mounted on a hired horse the grimacing shrug so Miss Marlin showed she entered into this modification and they were nearly conspiring to dismiss the ignoble pretender when a letter which he modestly sent up from his sister inviting Indiana to pass a few weeks in Grossmaner Square once again secured the interest of the brother she suffered therefore Suryukh to hand her downstairs and the enamoured Melmont thought himself the most blessed of men the sight of such eager enjoyment and the really aimable qualities of this youth soon completely reconciled the Baronet to this new business for he saw no reason he said in fact why one niece had not as good a right to be married first as another the generous and sentimental Eugenia never ceased her kind offices and steadily wore an air of tolerable cheerfulness all day though her pillow was nightly wetted with tears for her unfortunate lot nor with all her native equanimity and acquired philosophy was this a situation to bring back serenity the enthusiastic raptures of Melmont elevated him in her eyes to something about human and while his adoration of Indiana presented to her a picture of all she thought most fascinating his grateful softness of respect to herself was penetratingly touching to her already conquered heart Indiana meanwhile began her long to catch some of the pleasure she inspired the passionate animation of Melmont soon not only resumed its first power but became even essential to her no one else had yet seemed to think her so completely a goddess except Mr. MacDursey whom she scarce expected ever to see again with Melmont she could do nothing that did not make her appear to him still more lovely and though her whims thus indulged became almost endless they but kindled with fresh flame his admiration if she fretted he thought her all sensibility if she put it all dignity if her laughter was unmeaning she was made up of innocent gaity if what she said was shallow he called her the child of pure nature if she were angry how becoming was her spirit if illiberal how noble was her frankness her person charmed his eye but his own imagination framed her mind and while his enchanted faculties were the mere slaves of her beauty they persuaded themselves they were vanquished by every other perfection Mr. Turald had not yet related Edgar's defection to Sir Yu though from the moment the time of hope was passed he wished to end that of expectation but the pressure of the affairs of Lionel detained him at Edrington and he could not bear to give grief to his brother till he could soften its effect by the consolation of some residents at Cleves this time now arrived and the next day was fixed for his painful task in which he meant to spare Camilla any share when Jacob begged immediate admittance into the study where Mr. Turald and his daughters were drinking tea his scared look instantly announced ill news Mr. Turald was alarmed Lavina was frightened and Camilla exclaimed Jacob speak at once he begged to sit down Camilla ran to get him a chair Is my brother well Jacob cried Mr. Turald who I pretty well considering sir but these are vast bad times for us oh if my uncle is but well cried Camilla relieved from her first dreadful doubt all I hope will do right why a mace said Jacob smiling I knew you'd be master's best comfort and so I told him and so he says for that matter himself as I've got to tell you from him but for all that he takes on prodigious bad I never saw him in the like way except just that time when Miss Jenny had the smallpox they all supplicated him to forebear further commons and then gathered that a money agent employed by John Lindmer had just arrived at Cleves where with bitter complaints he related that having been duped into believing him the heir to Sir Duke Turald he had been prevailed with to grant him money from time to time to pay certain bills contracted not only there but in London for goods sent thence by his order to the amount of near thirteen hundred pounds without the interest of which he should give a separate account that he had vainly applied to the young gentlemen for reimbursement who finally assured him he was just disinherited by his uncle and hoped therefore remained to save him from the ruin of this affair but in the compassion of the Baronet which he now came to most humbly solicit While Mr Turald in silent surprise and concern listened to an account that placed his brother in difficulties so similar to his own Camilla sinking back in her chair looked pale, looked almost lifeless the history of the depths she already knew and had daily expected to hear but the circumstance of the moneylender and the delusion concerning the inheritance so resembled her own terrible and yet unknown story that she felt personally involved in all the shame and horror of the relation Mr Turald who believed her suffering all for her uncle made further inquiries while La Vigna tenderly sustained her Don't take on so dear miss, said Jacob for all our hope is in you as Master and I both said and he bid me tell your papa that if he'd only give young Squire Manlva to jog to Egimon that he might not be so surely shally as soon as ever the wedding is over he'd accept his kind invitation to Beach Park and by there till he got clear as one may say Mr Turald now required no assign motive for the excessive distress of his daughter and hastened to turn Jacob from this too terribly trying subject by saying my brother then means to pay these demands like yes sir his honor pays everything as anybody asks him only he says he don't know how because of having no more money being so hard run with all our preparations we have been making this last fortnight Camilla with every moment increasing agitation hid her face against La Vigna but Mr Turald with some energy said the interest at least I hope he will not discharge for those dangerous vultures who lie in wait for the week or airing to encourage their frailties or vices by affording them means to pursue them much severer punishment than merely losing a recompense for their iniquitous snares this was quite too much for the already disordered Camilla she quitted her sister, glided out of the room and delivered herself over as a prey no longer to sorrow but remorse her conduct seemed to have been precisely the conduct of Clermont and she felt herself dreadfully implicated for the sake or airing, guilty of frailties or vices that an uncle so dearly loved should believe she was forming an establishment which would afford him an asylum during his difficulties now every prospect of that establishment was over was so hard piercing a circumstance that to her father it seemed sufficient for the whole of what she endured he made her over therefore to La Vigna only he hastened to Cleves for Jacob when he had said all he was ordered to say all he had gathered himself and all he was able to suggest finished with letting him know that his master begged he would set out that very moment the time of his absence was spent by Camilla in an anguish that at his return seemed quite to have changed her he was alarmed and redoubled his tenderness but his tenderness was no longer her joy he knows not she's thought whom he caresses knows not that the wounds just beginning to heal for the son are soon to begin open for the daughter yet her affections were all awake to inquire after her uncle and when she heard that nothing could so much soothe him as her sight all fear of his comments all terror of exertion subsided in the possible chance of consoling him and Mr. Tyrold who thought every act of duty led to cheerfulness sent to desire the courage might fetch her the next morning he passed slightly over to Camilla the scene he had himself gone through but he confessed to La Vigna its difficulty and pain Sir Eug had acknowledged he had drawn his bankers dry yet had merely current cash to go on to the next quarter when she intended to deduct the further expenses of the weddings nevertheless he was determined upon paying every shilling of the demand not only for the debts but for all the complicate interests he would not listen to any reasoning upon this subject because he said he had it upon his conscience that the first fault was his own in letting poor Clermont leave the kingdom without clearing up to him that he had made Eugena his exclusive heiress it was in vain Mr. Tyrold pointed out that no future hope so wealth could exculpate this unauthorized extravagance in Clermont and no dissipation in Clermont could apologize for the clandestine loan and its illegal interest the poor boy said he did it all knowing no better which how can I expect when I did wrong myself being his uncle though if I were to have twenty more nephews and nieces in future the first word I should say to them would be to tell them I should give them nothing to the end that having no hope they might all be happy one as another all therefore that was left for Mr. Tyrold was to cancel him upon the best and shortest means of raising the sum and for this purpose he meant to be with him again the next day this affair however with all its reproach for the past and all its sacrifices for the time to come by no means so deeply affected Sir Eugena as the blow Mr. Tyrold can no longer spare concerning Edgar it sunk to his heart dispirited him to tears and sent him extremely ill to bed the chairs came early the next morning and Mr. Tyrold had the pleasure to see Camilla exert herself to appear less sad La Vina was also the party as he meant to stay the whole day Tutinia met them in the hall with the welcome intelligence that Sir Eug, though he had passed a wretched night was now somewhat better and considerably cheered by a visit from his own jokester friend Mr. Westwin nevertheless Sir Eug dismissed him and everybody else to receive Camilla alone she endeavored to approach him calmly but his own unchecked emotion soon overset her borrowed fortitude and the interview proved equally afflicting to both the cruel mischiefs brought upon him by Claremont were as nothing in the balance of his misfortunes when opposed to the sight of sorrow upon that face which hitherto had so constantly enlivened him as an image of joy and with her every self-disappointment yielded for the moment to the regret of losing so precious a blessing as offering refuge in a time of difficulty to an uncle so dear to her Mr. Tyrold would not suffer this scene to be long uninterrupted he entered with a cheering countenance that compelled them to dry their tears and told them the Westwins could not much longer be left out though they remained well contented for the present with Miss Marglant and his other daughters Melmont and Indiana added he smiling seemed at present not being of this lower swear nor to have a moment to spare for those who are that my dear brother answered the Baronet is all my comfort for as to all the rest of my marrying you see what it's come to who could have thought of young Mr. Edgards turning out in the same way I can't say but what I take it pretty unkind of him letting me prepare at this rate for nothing besides speech parks being within but the stones throw as one may say as well as his own agreeableness however now I've seen a little more of the world I can't say I find much difference between the good and the bad with respect to their all doing alike the young boys nowadays whatever's come to them don't know what they'd be at they think nothing of disappointing a person if once they were mine to change their minds all once preparations go for nothing which they never think of Mr. Tyrold now prevailed for the readmission of Mr. Westwin who was accompanied by his son and followed by the Cleaves family the cheeks of Camilla recovered their usual you at the site of Henry from the various interesting recollections which occurred with it she was seen herself with their original admiration both by the father and the son though with the former it was now mingled with anger and with the latter no longer gilded with hope yet the complaints against her which upon his arrival Mr. Westwin meant to make were soon not merely relinquished but transformed into pity upon the view of a dejected countenance and silent melancholy the baronet however revived again by seeing his old friend whose humor so much resembled his own that in Yorkshire he had been always his first favorite each the children of untutored nature honest and open alike in their words and their dealings their characters and their propensities were nearly the same those are you more self-formed had a language and manner of his own and Mr. Westwin of a temper less equal and less gentle gave way as they arose to such angry passions as the indulgent baronet never felt my dear friend said Mr. Westwin you don't take much notice of my hull though I'll give you my word you won't see such another young fellow every day however it's as well not before his face for it might only make him think himself somebody and that while I'm alive I don't intend he should do I can't bury young fellow not beautiful I've always a bad opinion of him I can't say he pleases me my dear Westwin answered the baronet I'm no doubt but what Master Hall is very good for which I'm truly glad but as too much of a rejoicing now upon the score of young boys it's what I can't do seeing they turned out so ill one after another as far as I have had to do with them for which however I hope I bear him no malice they've enough to answer for without that which I hope they'll think of in time why to be sure sir you if you said about thinking of a young fellow by the pattern of my friend Clermont I can't say I'm much surprised you don't care to give him a good word I can't say I am I am pretty much of the same way of thinking I love to speak the truth he then took Mr. Tirolde apart and ran on with the history of all he had gathered while at Leipzig of the conduct and way of life of Clermont-Lynmer he was a disgrace said he even to the English name as a professor told me that I can't remember the name of it's so pretty just long but if it had not been for my son he told me they'd have thought all the English young fellows good for nothing except extravagance and eating and drinking they'd all round have got an ill name Sesi if it had not been for your son were his words which I shall never forget I sent him over a noble pipe of Madeira which I just got for myself as soon as I came home I took to him very much I can't say but I did he was a very good man he had prodigiously the look of an Englishman he said hell was an ornament to the university I took it very well of him I wish he had not such a hard name I can never call it to mind I hate a hard name I can never speak it without a blunder Sir Yugna who had been talking with Henry called upon Mr. Westwin to beg his pardon for not speaking of him more respectfully saying I see is quite agreeable which I should have noticed from the first only being what I did not know which I hope is my excuse my head my dear friend not getting on much in point of quickness though I can't say it's for one of pains since you and I used to live so much together but to no great end for I always find myself in the back however it happens which your son Master Hal is I see quite the contrary Mr. Westwin was so much gratified by this praise that he immediately confessed the scheme and wish he had formed a marrying Hal to Camilla only for her not approving it Sir Yug protested nothing could give him more pleasure than such a connection and significantly added he had other nieces besides Camilla Why yes said Mr. Westwin and I can't keep from looking at him I like him all mightily I'm a great friend to taking from a good stock I choose to know what I'm about that girl at Southampton hit my fancy prodigiously but I'm not for the beauty a beauty won't make a good wife it takes her too much time to put her cap on that little one there with a hump which I don't mind nor the limp neither I like vastly but I'm afraid Hal won't take to her a young man don't much fancy an ugly girl he's always hankering after something pretty there's that other indeed miss Slovenia is as handsome a girl as I wish to see and she seems as good too however I'm not for judging all by the eye I'm past that an old man should not play the fool which I wish somebody would whisper to a certain lord that I know of that don't behave quite to my mind I'm not fond of an old fool nor a young one neither they make me sick Sir Eug heard and agreed to all this with the same simplicity with which it was spoken and soon after Yorkshire becoming their theme Mr. Tyrold had the pleasure of seeing his brother so much reanimated by the revival of old scenes ideas and connections that he heartily joined in pressing the Mr. Westwinds to spend a fortnight at Cleves to which they consented with pleasure End of Chapter 9, read by Lars Rolander Book 9, Chapter 10 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney, Chapter 10 A Brides Resolves With every allowance for a grief in which so deeply he shared Mr. Tyrold felt nearly bowed down with sorrow when he observed his own tenderness abate of its power to console and his exhortations of their influence with his miserable daughter whose complicated afflictions seemed desperate to herself and to him nearly hopeless He now began to fear that rigid economy and retirement of their present lives might add secret disgust or fatigue to the disappointment of her heart He sighed at an idea so little in unison with all that had hitherto appeared of her disposition Yet remembered she was very young and very lively and thought that if caught by a love of gayer scenes than Edrington afforded she was at a season of life which brings its own excuse for such venial ambition He mentioned therefore with great kindness their exclusion from all society and proposed making an application to Mrs. Neddam, a lady high in the esteem of Mrs. Tyrold to have the goodness to take the charge of carrying them a little into the world during the absence of their mother I can neither exact nor desire, he said, to sequester you from all amusement for a term so utterly indefinite as that of her restoration since it's now more than ever desirable to regain the favor of your uncle Relville for Lionel who has resisted every profession for which I have sought to prepare him though his idle and licentious course is so little fit him for contentment with a small patrimony he will one day inherit The sisters mutually and sincerely declined this proposition Lavigne had too much employment to find time every slow of passage and Camilla joined to the want of all spirit for recreation had a dreed of appearing in the county she should meet with Sir Sedley Clarendall whose 200 pounds were amongst the evils ever present to her The money which Eugenia meant to save for this account had all been given to Lionel and now her marriage was at an end and no particular sum expected she must be very long in replacing it especially as Jacob was first to be considered though he had kindly protested he was in no haste to be paid Mr. Tyrold was not sorry to have his proposition declined yet saw the sadness of Camilla unabated and suggested for a transient diversity a visit to the grove inquiring why an acquaintance begun with so much warmth and pleasure seemed thus utterly relinquished Camilla had herself thought with shame of her apparently ungrateful neglect of Mrs. Arbery but the five guineas she had borrowed and forgotten to pay while she might yet have asked them of Sir Yub and which now she had no ability anywhere to raise made the idea of meeting with her painful and thus overwhelmed with regret and repentance for all around her spirits gone and her heart sank she desired never more except for cleaves to stir from Edrington had he seen the least symptom of a revival Mr. Tyrold would have been gratified by her strengthened love of home but this was far from being the case and upon the marriage of Miss Dennell which was now celebrated he was glad of an opportunity to force her abroad from the necessity of making a congratulatory visit to the bride's aunt Mrs. Arbery the chariot therefore of Sir Yub being borrowed she was compelled into this exertion which was ill repaid by her reception from Mrs. Arbery who hurt as well as offended by her long absence and total silence wore an air of the most chilling coldness Camilla felt sorry and ashamed but too much disturbed to attempt any paliation for her non-appearance and remissness of even a note or message the room was full of mourning visitors all collected for the same complimentary purpose but she was relieved with the respect to her fears of Sir Saddley Clarendall in hearing of his tour to the Hebrides her mournful countenance soon however dispersed the anger of Mrs. Arbery what cried she has befallen you my fair friend if you are not immeasurably unhappy you are very seriously ill yes no my spirits have not been good answer she stammering but yours may perhaps assist to restore them the composition of Mrs. Arbery had no particle of either malice or vengeance she now threw off therefore all reserve and taking her by the hand said shall I keep you to spend the day with me yes or no peace or war and without waiting for an answer she sent back the chariot and a message to Mr. Tyrell that she would carry home his daughter in the evening and now my faithless fair cried she as soon as they were alone tell me what has led you to this abominable fickleness with me I mean if you had grown tired of anybody else I should have thought nothing so natural but you know I suppose that the same thing we philosophize into an admirable good joke for our neighbors we moralize into a crime against ourselves I thought said Camilla attempting to smile none but country cousins ever made apologies nay now I must forgive you without one word more answered Mrs. Arbery laughing and shaking hands with her a happy citation of one bon more is worth any ten offenses so you see you have nine to commit in store to clear of all damages but the pleasure of finding one has not said a good thing only for once then to be forgotten and die away in the winds is far greater than you can yet a while conceive in the first pride of youth and beauty our attention is all upon how we are looked at but when those begin to be somewhat on the wane when that barbarous time comes into play which revenges upon poor miserable woman all the heirs she has been playing upon silly man our ambition then is how we are listened to so now cutting short reproach and excuse and all the wearing round of explanation tell me a little of your history since we last met this was the last thing Camilla meant to undertake but she began in a hesitating manner to speak of her little debt Mrs. Arbery eagerly interrupting her insisted it should not be mentioned adding I go on vastly well again I'm breaking in two ponies and building a new phantom and I shall soon pay for both without the smallest inconvenience except just pinching my servants and starving my visitors but tell me something of your adventures you are not half so communicative as rumor which has given me a thousand details of you and married you and your whole set to at least half a dozen men a piece since you were lost at the groove amongst others it is search that my old Lord Valhurst was seriously at your feet that prattie mrs. mitten who fastened upon my poor little niece at Tunbridge and who is now her factutum pretends that my Lord's own servant spoke of it publicly at Mrs. Burlington's this was a fact that being thus divulged a very few questions made impossible to deny though Camilla was highly superior to the indelicacy and ingratitude of repaying the preference of any gentleman by publishing his rejection and what in the world my dear child said Mrs. Arbery could provoke you to so wild an action as refusing him could heaven Mrs. Arbery oh what you were not in love with him I believe not but if he was in love with you take my word for it that would have done quite as well it is such a little while that some love lasts even when it is begun with that you have but a few months to lose to be exactly upon a par with those who set out with all the quivers of Cupid darting from heart to heart he has still fortune enough left for a handsome settlement you can't help out living him and then think about how delectable would be your situation freedom, money dwell, the choice of your own friends and the enjoyment of your own humor you would but try me my dear Mrs. Arbery for you cannot I'm sure believe me capable of making so solemn an engagement for such mercenary hopes and selfish purposes this is all the romance of false reasoning you have not sought the man but the man you you would not have solicited his acceptance but yielded to his solicitation of yours the balance is always just where force is not used the man has his reasons for choosing you you have your reasons for suffering yourself to be chosen what his are you have no business to inquire nor has he the smallest right to investigate yours this was by no means the style in which Camila had been brought up to think of marriage and Mrs. Arbery presently added you are grave yet I speak but as a being of the world I live in though I address one that knows nothing about it tell me however a little more of your affairs what are all these marriages and no marriages our neighborhood is so busy in making and unmaking Camila returned the most brief and quiet answers in her power but was too late to save the delicacy of Eugenia in concealing her late double disappointments the abortive preparations of Sir Eug having travelled through all the adjoining country poor little dear ugly thing cried Mrs. Arbery she must certainly go off with her footmen unless indeed that good old pedant who teaches her that vast quantity of stuff she will have to unlearn when once she goes a little about will take compassion upon her and her thousands and put them both into his own pockets this railery was painful nearly to discuss to Camila who frankly declared she saw her sister with no eyes but those of respect and affection and could not endure to hear her mentioned in so ridiculous a manner never judge the heart of a wit answer she laughing by the tongue we have often as good hearts a and as much good nature too as the careful process who utter nothing but what is right or the heavy thinkers who have too little fancy to say anything that is wrong but we have a pleasure in our own rattle that cruelly runs away with our discretion she then more seriously apologized for what she had said and declared herself an unaffected admirer of all she had heard of the good qualities of Eugenia other subjects were then taken up till they were interrupted by a visit from the young bride Mrs. Listen jumping into the room I'm just run away she cried without saying a word to anybody I ordered my coach myself and told my own footmen to whisper me when it came that I might get off without saying a word of the matter dear how they'll all stare when they miss me I hope they'll be frightened and why so you little cheat why do you want to make the money see who I don't mind I'm so glad to have my own way I don't care for anything else dear how do you do Miss Camilla Tirold I wonder you have not been to see me I had a great mind to have invited you to have been one of my bridesmaids but Papa was so monstrous cross he would not let me do hardly anything I liked I was never so glad in my life as when I went out of the house to be married I'll never ask him about any one thing as long as I live again I always do just what I choose and are you quite sure Mr. Listen will never interfere with that resolution oh I shan't let him I dare say he would else that's one reason I came out so just now on purpose to let him see I was my own mistress and I told my coachman and my own footman and my maid all three that if they said one word I'd turn them all away for I intend always to turn them away when I don't like him I shall never say anything to Mr. Listen first for fear of his meddling I'm quite determined I won't be crossed anymore now I've servants of my own I'm sure I've been crossed long enough then turning to Camilla dear she cried how grave you look dear I wonder you don't marry too when I ordered my coach just now I was ready to cry for joy to think of not having to ask Papa about it and today at breakfast I dare say I rang twenty times for one thing or another as fast as ever I could think of anything I went to ringing again for when I was at Papa's every time I rang the bell he always asked me what I wanted only think of keeping one under so and what in the world said Mr. Listen to so prodigious an uproar oh he stared like anything but he could not say much I intend to use him to it from the first that he may never plague me like Papa with asking me what's the reason for everything if I don't like the dinner today I'll order a new one to be dressed for me on purpose and Mr. Listen and Papa and Mrs. Mitten and the rest of them may eat the old one Papa never let me order the dinner at home he always would know what there was himself and have what he choose I'm resolved I'll have everything I like best now every day I could not get at the cook alone this morning because so many of them were in the way though I rang for her a dozen times but tomorrow I'll tell her of some things I intend to have the whole year through in particular current arts and minced wheel and mashed potatoes I've been determined upon that these three years for against I was married then taking Camilla by the hand she begged she would accompany her to the next room saying pray excuse me Aunt Albury because I want to talk to Miss Tyrol about the secret when they came to another apartment after carefully shutting the door only thing she cried Miss Camilla Tyrol oh my marrying Mr. Listen at last pray did you ever suspect it I'm sure I did not when Papa told me of it you can't think how I was surprised I always thought it would have been Colonel Andover or Mr. MacDursey or else Mr. Summers unless it had been Mr. Wigan or else your brother but Mr. Listen never once came into my head because of his being so old I daresay he's seven and twenty only think but I believe he and Papa had settled it all along only Papa never told it me till just beforehand I don't like him much do you I have not the pleasure to know him but I hope you will endeavour to like him better now I don't much care whether I do or not for I shall never mind him I always determined never to mind a husband one minds once Papa because one can't help it but only think of my being married before you though you're seventeen years old almost eighteen I daresay and I am only just fifteen I could not help thinking of it all the time I was dressing for a bride you can't think how pretty my dress was Papa made Mrs. Mitten buy it because he said she could get everything so cheap but I made her get it the dearest she could for all that Papa's monstrous stingy this secret conference was broken up by a violent ringing at the gate succeeded by the appearance of Mr. Listen who without any ceremony opened the door of the chamber into which the ladies had retired So, ma'am, said he visibly very angry I have the pleasure at last to find you dinnerous weight till it is spoiled and I hope therefore now you will do us the favour to come and sit at the head of your table she looked frightened and he took her hand which she had not courage to draw back though in a voice that spoke a sob near at hand I'm sure, she cried this is not being treated like a married woman and I'm sure if I'd known I might not do as I like and come out when I'd a mind I would not have married at all Mr. Listen with little or no apology to Mrs. Albury then conveyed his fair bride to her coach Poor simple girl, exclaimed Mrs. Albury Mr. Listen who is a country squire of Northwick will soon teach her another lesson than that of ordering her carriage just at dinner time the poor child took it into her head that the course upon marrying she might say my house, my coach and my servants instead of my papas and bring her bell for she pleased and give her own orders that she was to arrive at complete liberty and independence and that her husband had merely to give her his name and lodge in the same dwelling and she will regard him soon as a tyrant and a brute for not letting her play all day long the part of a wild school girl just come home for the holidays the rest of the visit passed without further investigation on the part of Mrs. Albury or embarrassment on that of Camilla who found again some little pleasure in the conversation which at first had so much charmed and the kindness which even her apparent neglect had not extinguished Mrs. Albury in two days claimed her again Mr. Tyrell would not permit her to send an excuse and she found that lady more kindly disposed to her than ever but with an undisguised compassion and concern in her countenance and manner she had now learned that Edgar was gone abroad and she had learned that Camilla had private debts to the amount of one hundred and eighteen pounds the shock of Camilla when spoken to upon this subject was terrible she soon gathered she had been betrayed by Mrs. Mitten who though she had made the communication as a profound secret to Mrs. Albury with whom she had met at Mrs. Lissens there was every reason to suppose would whisper it in the same manner to a hundred persons besides Mrs. Albury seeing her just uneasiness in this particular to obviated herself by a conference with Mrs. Mitten in which she would represent that her own ruin would be the consequence of divulging this affair from the general opinion which would prevail that she had seduced a young lady underage to having dealings with a usurer Camilla deeply coloring accepted her kind offer but was forced upon a confession of the transaction though with a shame for her trust in such a character as Mrs. Mitten that made her deem the relation a penance almost adequate to its wrong End of chapter 10, read by Lars Rolander Book 9, chapter 11 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burney Chapter 11, The Workings of Sorrow The visit of the Westwinds to Soryug showed La Vina in so favorable a light that nothing less than the strong prepossession already conceived for Camilla could have guarded the heart of the son or the wishes of the father from the complete captivation of her modest beauty her interesting worth and the cheerful alacrity and virtue self-denial with which she presided in the new economy of the rectory But though the utter demolition of hope played with Henry its usual part of demolishing also half the fervor of admiration he still felt in consequence of his late failure at his taste of any similar attempt and Mr Westwind unbridled by the high praise of his son which had won him in Camilla left him master of his choice each however found a delight in the Tyrol society that seconded the wishes of the Baronet to make them lengthen their visit The retrenchments by which the depths of Clermont were to be paid could no longer nevertheless be deferred and Mr Tyrol was just setting out for cleaves to give his counsel for their arrangement when his daughters were broken in upon by Mrs Miting Camilla could scarcely look at her for displeasure at her conduct but soon absurd she seemed herself full of resentment and ill-humour She desired a private interview and Camilla then found that Mrs Arlbury had not only represented her fault and frightened her with its consequences but occasioned though most undesignedly new disturbances and new dangers to herself For Mrs Miting at length learnt in this conference with equal certainty, surprise and provocation that the inheritance of Sir Yu was positively and entirely settled upon his youngest niece and that the denials of all expectation on the part of Camilla which she had always taken by force conveyed but the simple truth Alarned that she should incur the anger of Mr Clikes who was amongst her most useful friends she had written him word of the discovery with her concern at the mistake and Mr Clikes judging now he had no chance of the gratuity finally promised for honour and secrecy and even that his principal was in danger had sent an enraged answer in Peer's declaration that he must either immediately be repaid all he had laid out or received some security for its being refunded of higher value than the note of a minor of no fortune nor expectations Mrs Miting protested she did not know which way to turn, she was so sorry to have the sublige so good a friend and broke forth into a vehement invective against Mr Dubster who knew the truth from young Squire Tireld himself long as was her lamentation and satisfied as she always felt to hear her own voice her poor still came too soon for any reply from Camilla who now felt the discovery of her situation to be inevitable compulsory and disgraceful self-appraiding that she had ever listened to such an expedient assailed her with the cruelest poignancy mingling almost self-detestation with utter despair in vain Mrs Miting pressed for some satisfaction she was mute from inability to devise any till the coachman of Mr Lisin sent word he could wait no longer she then in a broken voice said be so good as to write to Mr Clikes that if he will have the patience to wait a few days I will prepare my friends to settle my accounts with him Mrs Miting then recovering from her own fright in this business answered oh if that's the case my dear young lady pray don't be uneasy for it grieves me to vex you and I'll promise you I'll coax my good friend to wait such a matter as that for he's a vast regard for me he'll do anything I ask him I know she now went away and LaVenya who ran to her sister found her in a state of distress that melted her gentle heart to behold but when she gathered what had passed this disclosure my dearest Camilla she cried can never be so tremendous as the incessant fear of its discovery think of that I conjure you and endeavor to bear the one great shock that will lead to after peace and ease no my dear sister peace and ease are no more for me my happiness was already buried and now all that remained of consolation will be cut off also in the lost good opinion of my father and mother that destroyed and Edgar gone what is life to me I barely exist and is it possible you can even a moment doubt their forgiveness dear as you are to them cherished beloved now not their forgiveness but their esteem their confidence their pleasure in their daughter will all end think LaVenya of my mother when she finds I too have contributed to the distress and disturbance of my father that on my account too his small income is again straightened his few gratifications are diminished oh LaVenya how has she strolled to guard her poor tottering girl from evil and how has her fondness been always the pride of my life what a conclusion is this to her cares what a reward to all the goodness of my father in this state of desperate wretchedness she was still incapable to make the vow well which was now become indispensable and which must require another loan from the store her father held so sacred LaVenya had even less courage and they determined to apply to Judea who though a softly feeling as either mingled in her character a sort of heroic philosophy that enabled her to execute and to endure the hardest tasks where she thought them the demand of virtue they resolved therefore the next morning a note to cleaves for the carriage and to commit the affair to this inexperienced and youthful female sage far from running as she was want to meet her father upon his entrance Camilla was twice sent for before she could gain strength to appear in his presence nor could his utmost kindness enable her to look up the heart of Mr. Tyrell was penetrated by her avoidance and yet more sunk by her sight his best hopes were all defeated of affording her parental comfort and he was still to seek for her revival or support he related what had passed at Cleaves with the accustomed openness with which he conversed with his children and his friends Clermont he said was arrived and had authenticised all the accounts with so little of either shame or sense that a character less determined upon indulgence than that of Sir Yu must have revolted from affording him so cool if merely to mortify him into repentance the manner of making payment however had been the difficult discussion of the whole day Sir Yu was unequal to performing anything though ready to consent to everything when he proposed the sale of several of his numerous horses he objected that what remained would be hard-worked when he mentioned diminishing his table he was afraid the poor would take it in as they were used to have his ords and when he talked of discharging some of his servants he was sure they would think it very unkind his heart continued Mr. Tyrell is so bountiful and so full of kindness that he pleads his tender feelings and regretting wishes against the sound reason of hard necessity what is right however must only in itself seek what is pleasant and there when it ceases to look more abroad it is sure to find it he stopped hearing a deep sigh from Camilla who secretly ejaculated a prayer that this sentence might leave hence forward in her memory he divined the wish which devoutly he echoed and continued there is so little in fine that he could bear to relinquish that with my utmost efforts I could not calculate any retrenchment to which he will agree at more than a hundred a year yet his crouples concerning his vow resists all the entreaties of our disinterested eugenia to either sell out for the sum or cut down any trees in Yorkshire these difficulties too potent for his weak frame were again sinking him into that despondence which we should all seduously guard against the most prevailing of foes to active virtue when to relieve him I made a proposal which my dear girls will both I trust find peculiar pleasure in seconding Camilla had already attempted to raise her drooping head conscience struck at what was said of despondence and now endeavored to join in the cheerful confidence expressed by La Vigna that he could not be mistaken the little horde into which already we have broken for Lionel he went on I have offered to lend him for present payment as far as it will go and to receive it again at stated periods in the meanwhile I shall accept from him the same interest as from the bank for this I am to have also security I run no risk of the little all I have to leave to my two girls he now looked at them both expecting to see their future even in Camilla that what was destined hereafter for herself could prove of the smallest utility to Sir Jung but his disappointment and her shock were equal too true for the most transitory disguise the keenest anguish shot from her eye and Mr. Tirold amazed said is it Camilla who would draw back from any service to her uncle oh no! cried she with clasped hands I would die to do him any good and oh that my death at this moment she stopped affrighted for Mr. Tirold frowned a frown upon a face so constantly benign was new was awful to her but she instantly recollected his condemnation of wishes so desperate and fearfully taking his hand resort his forgiveness his prow instantly resumed its serenity I have nothing said he my dearest child to forgive from the moment you recollect yourself but try for your own sake to keep in mind that the current sorrows however acute of current life are but uselessly aggravated by vain wishes for death the smallest kind of is better proves affection than any words however elevated the conference here broke up something incomprehensible seemed to Mr. Tirold to be blended with the grief of Camilla and though from her birth she had manifested by every opportunity the most liberal disregard of wealth the something not to be understood seemed always to have money for its object what this might be he now fervently wished to explore yet still hoped by patient kindness to receive her confidence voluntarily Camilla now was half dead La Vina could with difficulty sustain but by no possible means revive her what a period was this to disclose to her father that she must deprive him in part even of his promised solace in his intended assistance to his brother to satisfy depths of which he suspected not the existence when forced downstairs by summons to supper Mr. Tirold to console her for his momentary displeasure redoubled his caresses but his tenderness only made her weep yet more bitterly and he looked at her with a heart rent with anguish for La Vina for Eugenia he would have felt similar grief but there far less gay though equally innocent natures would have made the view of the reflection less strikingly oppressive Camilla had hitherto seemed in the spring of joy yet more than of life anxiety flew at her approach and animation took its place nothing could shake his resignation yet to behold her constant sadness severely tried his fortitude to see tears trickling incessantly down the pale cheeks so lately blooming to see her youthful countenance wear the haggard expression of care to see life in its wish and purposes seem at an end ere in its ordinary calculation it was reckoned to have begun drew him from every other consideration and filled his whole mind with monopolizing apprehension he now himself pressed her for change of scene to accept an invitation she had received from Mrs. Burlington to Grosvenor Square with her Indiana was going in a few days to spend a fortnight or three weeks before her marriage but she declined the excursion as not more unseasonable in its expense than ungenial to her feelings the following morning while they were at their melancholy breakfast a letter arrived from Lisbon which Mr. Tyrell read with visible disturbance exclaiming from time to time Lionel, thou art indeed punished the sisters were equally alarmed but LaVenia alone could make any inquiry Mr. Tyrell then informed then their uncle Relville had just acknowledged to their mother that he could no longer in justice conceal that previously to his quitting England he had privately married his housekeeper to induce her to accompany him in his voyage and that during his first rap upon the detection of Lionel he had disinherited him in favor of a little boy of her own by a former marriage whom they had brought with them to Lisbon Mr. Tyrell though it had been his constant study to bring up his children without any reference to their rich uncles had never internally doubted but that the bachelor brother of Mrs. Tyrell would leave his fortune to the son of his only sister who was his sole near relation and Lionel he knew in defiance of his admonitions had built upon it himself rather as a certainty than a hope he will now see said Mr. Tyrell his presumption and feel by what he suffers what he has earned yet culpable as he has been he's now also unfortunate and where crimes are followed by punishment it is not for mortal man to harbor unabating resentment I will write a few lines of comfort to him Camilla in this concession experienced all she could feel of satisfaction but the short sensation died away at the last words of the letter of her mother which Mr. Tyrell read aloud you I well know will immediately in this evil find for yourself and impart to our children something of instruction if not of comfort shall I recollect this without emulation no I will bear up from this stroke which at least permits my return to Edrington where in the bosom of my dear family and supported by its own achieve I will forget my voyage, my painful absence and my disappointment in exertions of practical economy strict but not rigid which our good children will vie with each other to adopt sedulous all around to shoe in what we can most forbear I hope all must immediately to claim my share in these labours which such motives will make light and such companions render precious in agony past repression at these words Camilla glided out of the room the return of her mother was now horror to her not joy her shattered nerves could not bear the interview while under a cloud threatening to burst in such a storm and she entreated Lavina to tell her father that she accepted his proposal for going to Mrs. Berlentons and there she cried Lavina I will wait till Eugene has told the dreadful history that thus humbles me to the dust Lavina was too timid to post reason to this suffering and Mr. Tyrell already cruelly apprehensive the obscurity of their recluse lives contributed to her depression and believing she compared her present privations to the lost elegances of Beach Park side heavily yet said he was glad she would remove from a spot in which reminiscence was so painful this was not indeed he added the period he should have selected for her visiting the capital or residing at Mrs. Berlentons but she was too much touched by the state of her family not to be guarded in her expenses and the pressure of her ever augmenting sadness was heavier upon his mind than any other alarm the conscience struck Camilla could make no profession no promise nor yet though ardently wishing it refuses offered advance of her next quarters allowance lest she should be reduced again to the necessity of borrowing this step once decided brought with it something like a gloomy composure I shall avoid she cried at least with my mother these killing caresses of deluded kindness that break my heart with my father she too would soon discover there was something darker in my sadness than even grief she would be sure that even my exquisite loss could not render me ungrateful to all condolment she would know that a daughter whom she had herself reared and instructed would blush so unceasingly to publish any personal disappointment let her feel it how she might oh my love mother how did the delight of knowing your kind expectations keep me while under your guidance in the way I ought to go oh mother of my heart what a grievous disappointment awaits your sad return to find at the first opening of your virtuous schemes of general saving that I as well as Lionel have involved my family in debts that I as well as Clermont have committed them clandestinely to a usurer Lavinia undertook to give Eugenia proper instructions for her commission but news arrived the next day that Sir Yu would take no denial to Eugenia's being herself of the party this added not however to the courage of Camilla for staying and her next determination was to reveal the whole by letter Mr. Tyrell will not send her to Cleves to take leave that her uncle might not be tempted to exercise his wanted but now no longer convenient generosity nor yet be exposed to the pain of withholding it you will go now my dear girl he said in your pristine simplicity and what can so every way become you it is not for a scheme of pleasure but for a stimulus to mental exertion I part with you when you return your excellent mother will aid your task and reward its labor remember but while in your own hands that open economy springing from discretion is always respected it is false shame alone that begets ridical weeping and silent she heard him and his fears gain ground that her disappointment joined to a view of gay life had robbed Edrington of all charms to her bitterly he regretted he had ever suffered her to leave his roof though he would not now force her stay compulsion could only detain her person and might heighten the disgust of her mind the little time which remain was given folly to packing and preparing and continued employment hid from miseterled her emotion which increased every moment till the carriage of Sir Yuke stopped at the gate lost then to all sensation but the horror of the avowal that must intervene ere they met again with in certitude if again he would see her with the same kindness she flew into his arms rather agonized than affectionate kissed his hands with fervor kissed every separate finger rested upon his shoulder hid her face in his bosom caught and pressed her lips even the flaps of his coat and scarce restrained herself from bending to kiss his feet yet without uttering a word without even shedding a tear strangely surprised and deeply affected Mr. Tyrrell straining her to his breast said why my dear child why my dearest Camilla if thus agitated by our parting do you leave me this question brought her to recollection by the impossibility she found to answer it she tore herself therefore away from him embraced Lavina and hurried into the coach End of Chapter 11 Red by Lorsch Rolander