Looking it up. Why? To see if it's real. A story doesn't have to be real to be true. And the truth is if you've got a gun, you've got safety.  If you're a man or a woman, the gun is the great equalizer. I thought the law was the great equalizer.  There's no stories about Francine Maplewood. Janelle! Her intercoms broke. What? I'm not thirsty. She's not thirsty! Trimmers. Not good for fixing small electronics. But he needed the job. His wife is sick. She had the stroke in the seat you're sitting in. She worked here 20 years. That's why I'm hiring a new secretary. Did you have any questions about my resume? Can I be honest? Please. I was confused. Because I'm overqualified? No, because your resume is confusing. What part did you find confusing? Under special skills, you list facilitating action. One of your hobbies is interrogating power structures. You got a degree in social justice, and you lived in a coop. Is that with chickens? It's a coop. I lived in a coop. A secretary can type. Can you type? Yes. Use a copier? Of course. Then why didn't you list those skills instead of dialoguing and agitating? I thought you'd want to hear about my passions. Get to know me on a deeper level. I'm hiring a secretary, not making a friend. Don't you want to know about my interests? I relate to being my secretary. Are you interested in making coffee? I don't know. What do you feel about life filing? I haven't thought about it. What about my company? Do you like guns? Is that important to the position? This company sells guns. That's our business. How we make profit. Under the moral opposition section of your resume, the first term you list is guns. The sixth is business and the last is profit. Most organizations appreciate different perspectives. Not this one. Then why are you recruiting me? I wasn't aware that I was recruiting you. I was told you were recruiting me. Who told you that? The office manager. Your sister. Half-sister. I put ice in your water like you like. April has the interview. Did you tell April I was recruiting her? No. She was asking about you. She just needs to feel wanted. I thought you two would get along. Are you not getting along? Can I be excused to the bathroom? This isn't school. I was being polite. April is so bright. Don't you think she's so bright? She could read before I could and I'm like ten years older. She reminded me of my daughter. Has she told you about her college on the east coast? She was really involved with protests and pretending to die. She spent a semester in Africa. Knows languages can talk about art. She would make an amazing secretary. I think she would be a distraction. Distractions are good. You have a problem with distractions. No, I don't. Did you get a hold of the high school? Not yet. I asked you to call the high school an hour ago. Were you distracted? No. Janelle? I called their phone. It's just ringing. Were you on that dating website? I'm not on a dating website at work anymore. Janelle? I called the high school. I did, but it's that secretary at the school, Shirley. She doesn't pick up the phone because she's occupied with gossip. Students, they plant at her desk. She bribes them with candy hole bars. So they'll gab about life. Call her grandma. She's a bad secretary. Main, needy, and old. She's not old. She's ancient. I went to high school with Shirley. Then you know she's lazy. Don't do a job. Someone should tell her you're the secretary, not the school tit. And I've given up dating. I bought the high school a football field. The check is ripped, the field is done. There's a game tonight. But I drove by and the sign says Ruby Ruth Memorial Field. Okay. Do I look dead? Is that a real question? Call the high school and make them change it. Ruby Ruth Champion Field. Where are you writing that down? I'll remember. Here's your messages. Why do I have so many messages? Did you forget to give them to me? No. People have been calling. See if we're hiring. They cut another shift at the muffler factory. How many? At least 40. How many people do you think will be able to bring on? Okay. I was thinking more like 40. But you have to. They were all crying or yelling over the phone saying they had kids or cancer. And I said you would.  After the grocery store closed and the bank went under, when the fertilizer plant left, we don't have enough orders coming in for all the people we got now. Maybe something will happen. We're praying for it at church. A big event with lots of casualties. What are you talking about? Just something people notice.  We get busy and lots of people get hired. Oh, like that guy last year, who killed all his neighbors over losing the Christmas lights competition. The Christmas miracle. Oh, that was a Christmas miracle. No. That was the name of the gun. For that gal who took down the shooter and then went into labor. What was the name of the gun? They were so busy you were hiring those stay at home moms to help out all those kids running around for me to watch. Oh, that little Colton kid. Pretended for everyone that he was the guy and all the other kids were the neighbors you remember. I've never had so much fun. It was a good Christmas. Bonuses. And we spin it together. You have that new gun. In the workshop, you could put it online and see if it sells. It doesn't have a name. There was that girl out in Oregon who shot her boyfriend over cheating on St. Patrick's Day and he was really short. How many times? I am not naming one of my guys the leprechaun.  And every gun we don't sell is another person we don't protect. We're going to get more calls. People looking for work. It's very distracting. Why don't I let April take care of it? She could start now. I want you to hire Lori. Excuse me? Lori Burnham as secretary. Hire her. We didn't like Lori Burnham. Remember, she lives on a farm. Doesn't have experience. She's got that secretary, her diploma. Her interview was disgusting. Rubber boots. No broth. But she was controversial. She brought a fetal pig. It wasn't a fetal pig. It was a runt and Lori was trying to save its life. It bled on her resume. She wasn't luster. And bottle-fed it throughout the interview. Multitasking. It died during her typing test. And she got a fine score. Hire her. What about April? I'm not hiring April. Why not? She picks fights. She talks back. She's just like my daughter. And she doesn't like guns. She's wasting my time. I am not like her. I did not get a degree in social justice. I am not accustomed to wasting my time. But this one would have worked in town. The gas station wouldn't give her an interview. And I'm afraid she'll go back to her husband in the city. I picked her up in the middle of the night. She didn't want him to know he's older. Kids my age. There's something not right about him. Since she filed for divorce, he calls my house. I say she's not there. But he doesn't believe me. Says he's coming to get her. And I don't know what to do. April has nowhere else to go. She's only got a sister. Half-sister. Oh, April. Janelle. I think you have work to do. I didn't tell her everything. Janelle. He's gonna hurt her. I am butting out. School, because that's what's really important here. I'm sorry that I am such a waste of time. Sit down. I don't need a lecture. I'm not giving you a lecture. I'm giving you a job.  But I have a concern.  It's about your divorce. Is that a problem? I don't want it affecting your job. It won't. Thank you for that assurance. But I've been around the bar a few more times than you and I'm not making any judgments. But I've seen perfectly cordial gentlemen become something else entirely when their wives finally get out. My husband's not like that. Ex-husband? We're not divorced yet. You drink? No. You on medication? That's none of your business.  No. Your neighbor's called? Our apartment has thin walls. You ever hit you? Of course not. Never. He's a professor. He has two doctorates. We live in a nice building. Men don't stop when you get it to breathe.  So before you can work here, I want you to get a restraining order. I've already filed for a restraining order. No. I want you to get the restraining order. That's one of our guns. I think a restraining order from the courts will suffice. I got an email from a lady last week. She had one of those pieces of paper from the court. But her ex kept walking right past it. So she got a restraining order from us. And when her ex-husband swung by in the middle of the night, drunk, holding a tire iron, guess which restraining order stopped him? I don't need a gun. I understand. You feel that way, April. And I respect that. I do. But I am not comfortable with you working here without a gun. So I have to make that a condition of your employment. You can't do that. I'm not getting a call at five in the morning because one of my girls can't come to work because her educated husband from the city broke in and strangled her. I'm not going to carry a gun. It's not negotiable. Then I can't let you work here. Good. Fine. I didn't want to work for a terrorist anyway. Excuse me? This entire company, it's a terrorist organization that sells fear and death. We sell peace of mind. No, you don't. You scare people with fanciful, impossible stories of violence and utilization. Those stories are real. More real than you know. A frenzied maple word. She's real. You made her up to sell murder weapons. My guns aren't murder weapons. That thing? The lone widow? It's a murder weapon. The lone widow is for protection and safety. You might as well make gashed, enlacerated, man-frenzied maple wood figurines for people to put on their curios. Remind them that at any moment they can be beaten, stabbed, invaded, raped, shot at so you can scare all the money out of their pockets. I'm not scaring anyone. I'm protecting people. Were you protecting your daughter when she shot herself? You ever needed a gun? No. I've got the school up the line. You never needed a gun? Of course not. Ruby, please.  You never needed a gun more than anything else in the world. No. Never. Have you? Yes, April. Yes, I have. Ruby, it's the school. I'm on the phone with one of the kids, Travis. He's a sophomore. He's locked in the principal's office. He said that there were gunshots and I don't know what to do. Is the shooter down? He's scared. Find out if the shooter is down. He's in the next room. Is the shooter down? He says there's a body and it's not moving. Find out if anyone else was hurt. I'm going down there. Where? The school. Ruby gets her glasses, grabs the loan window, and loads a magazine. I never wanted to hire you anyway. Because you don't hire people smarter than you? No, because April was my daughter's name. The secretary? Ruby, the school secretary? Hit or dead? No, he said it was her, the secretary. Shirley? Yes, Charlie, the secretary. She took down the shooter. End of scene. Scene two, the same models. Now, I was told that it started in the chair. But that most of the stroke happened on the ground. There. So, this chair is completely fine to sit in. It's not contagious. Strokes, they're not even... I know. Thank you. I can haul in another chair. I need to do my exercises. Okay. It's important to stay active. But Janelle told me that a secretary is supposed to make visitors to the office feel comfortable. You sure? Yes. Thank you. Because I can't lose this job. Is Ruby on her way? She's still in the meeting. Do you know when she'll be free? No. Can you please ask Janelle? Janelle's in the meeting too.  It's Lori. Lori Burnham. Can you tell Ruby that it's Shirley? That her friend Shirley is here? I know who you are. Well, can you tell her I'm here, please? Did you think I didn't know who you were? I'll let you in without an appointment. Why would I do that if I didn't know who you were? I didn't know I needed an appointment. Janelle says no one gets in without an appointment. No exceptions. And messages. And there you go. That proves it. Proves what? Janelle doesn't know everything. It's like I've been saying this whole time. You don't need an appointment when I'm in charge. Thank you, Lori. Lori Burnham. Thank you. I can't believe you think I didn't know who you are.  No.   Office. He was my cousin. Excuse me? That kid you shot. He was my cousin. My sister's outside. I'm not mad, Shirley. You should be worried. I'm not mad. I should tell my sister what's taking so long. His mom is mad. Calls me at all hours, crying, carrying on. Trying to get me to burn down your house. I had to stop answering the phone, but someone gave her my work number and she keeps calling here. Then Janelle's cracking my nuts about personal calls. I wanted to call her. I did because I know what it's like to lose a child. I do.  No. Well, it's all for the best anyway. That's what I've been telling her. Because you know, he had problems. Dustin. Dustin was his school name. We all called him Dusty on account of his never showering. Do you know about his problems? I filed the records at the school. I know all the problems. When he was little, he jumped off a tractor into the desk on my grandpa's farm while we were harrowing out a field. It tore him up. That's why he had a limp. Those scars all over. Why he could barely read or do math. Why he was always going to be ugly. Was that in the records? No. His mom hid a lot of things. They were living out of a camper in a corn field. She was always bragging about having a house built with her government money. But their boyfriends were always running off with it. So they never had food or good clothes. We were going to let them stay at our place. But you know how that goes. Am I keeping you from your work? Oh no. This is part of my job. Talking. Having conversations. Making visitors comfortable. I don't want to keep you away from me. How many guns did they let you bring to your job? I asked Janelle about getting me some protection from the office.  But the secretary is the first line of defense. They taught us that in my courses. A secretary keeps unwanted visitors from disrupting work. Lori. Lori Burnham. Very comfortable right now. That is why I do not exercise. I feel good. Can I get you something to drink? No. I've got some liquor in my desk. It's this conversation that's not making me feel very comfortable. I understand completely. When people talk about their jobs, my eyes glaze over too. You should see me when Janelle talks. It's like, uh... I should come back another day. We can talk about something else. And make an appointment. How many shots was it to take him down? I heard it was six. Shirley, I didn't know you were coming in. Why did you tell me she was here, Lori? I was just making her comfortable first, like Janelle said to do. We don't make someone like Shirley wait. She wasn't waiting. She was doing her exercises. I think she's scared of the chair. Would you tell Janelle to order a new one? I can take care of it. Janelle's the office manager. Ordering supplies is her job. I forgot.  I remind Janelle again to order a new chair. Thank you. It was good talking, Shirley. Lori, Burnham. I was just kidding about having liquor in my desk. Glad you're here, Shirley. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I wasn't getting your messages, but I came the moment I heard you were calling. I was worried about you. I'm staying at my sister's. She's taking care of me, so everything's fine. Except she's not letting me talk to anyone because my lawyer said not to. My sister says we have to do what the lawyer says, be her or else. That's why I shouldn't talk about what happened at the school. It's not personal. It's my lawyer. Are you sure you don't want to sit? I'm fine. Thank you. I can get another chair in here. I'm okay. I just got my intercom fixed. I have to stay busy. You understand. It's important. My sister doesn't think so. She makes me sit in a chair all day with a puzzle book. Word jumbles. Sudoku. I hate it. I need to be working or I don't know what to do with myself. And that's why I'm glad you called because you'll help, won't you, with work? Of course. I knew you would. But I can't count on anything ever, but I can count on you. You always have a place in my company. No, Ruby. I need my job at the school. Those are my kids and I have to be there to hear about prom and see who's dating and take tickets into basketball games, drive the bus to away games. That's who I am. I won't give it up. I can't. You're not being fired. They put me on administrative leave. Just until the investigation is complete. Well, they're advertising my position. My sister saw it online. She won't stop talking about it. It's probably for a temp until everything blows over. What if it doesn't blow over? It'll blow over. It depends on the investigation. That's what the lawyer says. And my sister thinks there could be a trial.  I could. Even jail. But everybody in town supports you. Someone spray painted my car on the side.  Facts speak for themselves. They don't, Ruby. That's the problem. Facts never speak. Only people do and people lie. Would you like me to call my lawyer? No, that's not it. I was thinking you could call the school. Tell them I'm coming back to work immediately. Surely I don't run the school. I work there. I know how it goes. The district is broke. Enrollment is sinking. But anytime they want something, they call you. A new gym? Call Ruby. New windows? Call Ruby. We all know who runs this town. Owns everyone. Even me. You call me and I'm here. Okay, Shirley. You'll do it? I'll get the principal on the line this afternoon. Thank you, Ruby. Thank you. But I need you to do something for me. I'm not going to therapy. It's not that. They make you talk and I'm not talking. I don't like talking. I'm not good at talking. Ruby, you have an appointment now. With who? With me. It's on the calendar. I'm talking with Shirley. She doesn't have an appointment. She doesn't need an appointment. Then what's the point of keeping a calendar? I can go. No, stay. We can reschedule. You said we'd talk about the problem. What's the problem? Lori Burnham. Janellis Territorial. I'm not Territorial. Yesterday I caught her crying in the break room because Lori used her favorite coffee mug. As a spit cup. For her chewing tobacco. You promised we'd talk about it. After Shirley leaves. I'm putting it on the calendar. Shirley. Ever since this all happened, I wanted to make sure you knew that you're brave. You know that, right? You're very brave to carry a gun. I'm not supposed to talk. You're not talking. I'm talking. And I haven't been able to stop thinking about kids and school. There's danger. It breaks my heart across the country. All the people, they should be looking at you because in every secretary carried a gun. I wasn't supposed to have it, my gun, at school. But you did. And good thing, because danger came and you stopped it. I didn't want to. Of course not. You had to. We had a company meeting. I talked about you. Told your story. Kid comes to school. Our school with a gun. Thinking he was a fox in the hen house. Until he meets the secretary. Hometown girl. Everybody's grandma. Who came to work prepared. So we didn't have a school shooting. Not here. Not us. Because we had a Shirley. That's not how it happened. People cheered Shirley. They screamed. And when I finished telling about you, it was pandemonium. We need more Shirley's. That's what they yelled. We need more Shirley's. And we do. The world needs more Shirley's. That's why I want to name my next gun after you. After me? Why? I have a new gun in the works. Ready to go into production. But I've been holding it back. Waiting for something that would give people hope. And backbone. To act when they must. And it's you Shirley. It's you. No, it's not me. I broke the rules. There's a woman out there. Sitting in an office. Right now. Drinking coke. Eating crackers. Sending emails. And she was too afraid to bring her gun to work. Then something happens. A kid. Crazy. An old boyfriend with a score to settle. How many people need to lose their lives? Because some woman in some office thought it was more appropriate to sit quiet. Say nothing. And follow the rules. Don't talk about this Ruby. It's not good for me. Then let's stop the talking and call Janelle in here so you can look at your gun. Am I going to be able to work at the school if I tell you no? Ruby presses a button on her intercom. Janelle? But the intercom is still broken. It plays loud music. Ruby presses another button. Janelle! Janelle! Get up down and sideways and he fixed my intercom. Did you check? I do inventory on all your guns every morning. Check it again. And call Eldon. Make sure he fixes my intercom. Call Eldon. Why not? He can't hear. Then write it down on a piece of paper and hand it to him. I put him in my office. The principal was busy. We were alone. He wanted a candy bar. He was kicking my desk. I ignored him.  He said it was a joke. It wasn't a joke to me. I'm not very strong. I have low bone density. I told the principal that I could press charges. I wasn't going to. I would never. An hour later he was back with a rifle and it never would have happened.  I just pointed my pistol at him. That's it. Said I cared about him. He loved him and he dropped his gun and he started crying. I think old Shirley eats oatmeal for breakfast. Born in Shirley. Saves a school. They'll rename the bleachers Grandma Shirley. Some hero. And then it went off. I didn't pull the trigger. I would never pull the trigger and he fell to the ground. Don't let anyone tell you you did anything wrong. He looked like my son, Ruby. He did, little and scared. Splayed on the floor bleeding on the carpet. He looked like my son. And that's all I've been able to think since it happened. I'm a killer. I'm a killer. I killed my son. He was hiding it behind her desk. Would you like to hold your gun? No, Ruby, no. Take your gun. No, we can't. You don't drop it. No, how to hold it. Take your arms like this. Support the body.  Gently. Gentle. Gentle. There. There you go. The secretary. This is the secretary. We thanked her after you. She's going to save a lot of lives. I'd make us a lot of money.  Of course, Ruby. You'll have your job back this afternoon. My sister didn't want me to come here. She said leave everything to the lawyer, but I can't sit around the house. I need to keep busy. There was this custodian at the school, ball of energy, always flirting, trying to date me. He retired last year, then dead in two months. When you're not busy, it goes. It all goes. And I'm not ready to go. Shirley can't go back to work at the school. But they're already advertising for a replacement. It's online. I'll talk to the principal. He'll take it down. Well, Ruby, no, you can't. Why not? April is putting in an application. She would make a great school secretary. I already asked the principal. He's going to give her the job. When my daughter died, a lot of people wouldn't talk to me. Shirley called. She didn't have to. We weren't friends. I didn't have money. No one knew me. I was a waitress at a truck stop. But she called every couple of weeks. See how I was doing?  She told me not to blame myself over and over. Because sometimes you just need to hear it from someone, anyone, but it's not your fault. So get the high school on the phone now. First, we have an appointment. It's on the calendar after Shirley leaves. We talk about Lori. End of scene. Scene three. Ruby's office. The largest all-weapon from the last scene, the secretary, is lying across Ruby's desk. There's a new chair replacing the chair where the former secretary has struck. Am I in trouble? No, Lori, no. Janelle said I was in big trouble. You're not in trouble? Is this because I ordered a new chair? I can't help it if Janelle had a deep personal attachment to the old chair. I just wanted to see how your first couple of weeks of work had been and talk about your desk. Janelle said I could bring things from home and put them on my desk. I think she was talking about pictures, figurines, little toys, things that make you think of home. Is this about my saddle? Yes. Normally I wouldn't keep a saddle on my desk. But I had to sell the land with the good barn to get the bank off my back. And my roof is leaking. My basement has mold. My husband can't fix it because of disability, which all the doctors say is just him being lazy. If my saddles get wet, they'll be run. And they're expensive. Janelle said to treat my desk like my second home. And if I had a second home, I would use it to store my saddle.  I already got two saddles in my truck. There's not room for a third. Does Janelle have a problem with a saddle on my desk? No. Then I don't see what the problem is. I have a secretary to make my life easier. Your job is to make my life easier. Then I'll do what's necessary to make your life easier. One way to make my life easier is to get your desk organized so I feel organized. Make sure you have small things on your desk. You have big things on your desk. This is product. We're rolling out a new product. I own a company and I need to look at the materials before sending them into production. Can I keep a gun on my desk? No. But you said in the last meeting that every secretary should have the secretary. You don't have room on your desk. If I sell my saddle, I will. We'll have to ask Janelle. But wouldn't it make your life easier knowing if someone broke into our office that you'd have someone in the front who could take care of that. You said it yourself. If Shirley hadn't I had a gun at work there would have been a massacre. That's why we do what we do. That's why we are important. And if an intruder enters our building what is the first thing they are going to encounter? A secretary. And who do you want out there? Janelle with her nagging attitude thinking she knows everything and we should just do what she says because she talks the most or me with a gun. Excuse me. You got a minute of your time that I could have? I thought I told you not to stop by my work. I'm not stopping by your work. My car just broke down nearby. She don't have a car. I do. It's borrowed. I'm Brandy. Did Janelle say you could come back here? There was no one out there. You are supposed to wait. That is why we have a waiting room. There was no one telling me that. Now you are interrupting and we are busy. You don't look busy. I'm getting chewed out. You are not getting chewed out. It's about my saddle. I thought you got to bring things from home. Me too. I'll be done with Lori in a second if you want to wait outside. Is that your new gun? Lori was telling me about it on the phone. The Shirley? Secretary. Lori said you are thinking it's going to be a big seller so you are hiring a lot of people. You need to talk to Janelle. She does the hiring. I don't need a job. I've got a job. She's a dishwasher. Waitress? Let me take tables when things get busy. Which is never. It sounds like you are going to make a lot of money but I just thought you might want to talk to me. About what? My son. Dusty. And doing stuff for me. Like you are doing for Shirley. I know you have other stuff going on. That's why you didn't reach out. And I don't blame you most of the time I'm too mad to talk or stuck at work so it's probably hard to know when I'm available. But I made a list of stuff you can do. I'm sorry Brandy. I'm very busy. I know that's why I made a list of just the important stuff. She doesn't want to hear your list. One. Name the football field after Dusty. You're disrupting our work. Two. A little assistance to help me move on to the next phase of my life. She means money. Three. Make Shirley apologize. Brandy. I'm not done. I can't help you. But I worked really hard on this list. I can't help you. I just think it's hypocritical of you to help Shirley. What kind of country do we live in where all the killers get rewards? I thought we were supposed to be helping the victims. Isn't that what this country was founded on, helping the victims? Your son was not a victim. Can you explain that to me? Because I don't understand that. Out of everyone and his whole thing he really seems to lose out while everyone else is cashing in. No one is cashing in. When you sell those guns how big of a cut do you give Shirley? Shirley's not getting paid.  I work in the restaurant business and everyone gets paid. Over the counter or under the table no one's doing things to be nice so how much money is she getting? Lori, would you please see Brandi out? No! Why don't I get a cut? It was my son, don't you think I should get a cut? I put everything I had into that boy. He could have been a scientist. A race car driver. There's no talent and Shirley swindled that from me. So now I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life and you're rewarding the person who did that. File a lawsuit. That's really easy to say when you don't have a bill for transport to the hospital. But he was already dead. Why do I have to pay $600 when they didn't even do anything? If I were to ambulance I wouldn't take money from people who just had someone die. It's not right, it's not fair. But I guess that's why I'll never be rich because I believe in sharing and fairness and helping. But if you want to get rich in this country it'd be fair because if things were fair we'd all be rich. Not just the greedies and the hoarders and the killers. Here, it's a check to pay your ambulance bill because I agree that's not fair. You should not have to pay that. Ruby hands Brandy a check. I'm sorry you lost your son. Thank you Ruby. I appreciate that. I do. But you're missing a zero. You've sinned $600. No, I said $6,000. Uh oh. The ambulance cost $6,000. You weren't listening. Get out of my office. Why? What did I do to you? If you come any closer to me. I'm not doing nothing. Brandy, you need to back up. I am just talking. That is my boss and she does not want you that close. You're on my property always on your property. Because you own everything. You need to back up. Are you going to shoot me? Step back. Or is your gun going to do it? Brandy? Because that's what I got told. When I drove to see Shirley this morning, ask why? But she couldn't say nothing. Because Shirley locked herself in the bathroom while her sister just kept screaming in my ear. It was the gun. It wasn't Shirley. I was in the bathroom with a pitchfork last night. So don't think I'm afraid to get blood on this glass. One day you need help. So bad. And you look around. And there's nothing there. Because then maybe you'll know what it's like. To be me. So, can I? Can you what? Have this. If I get rid of my saddle. Don't keep it loaded at your desk. Okay. I'll only keep it loaded when I'm carrying it around. End of scene.  Now he has three boyfriends and one lives in a mansion. So, Lori says I might have more luck getting dates if I would just post pictures of my fat gut. I guess she's out. Why would Lori be in her office and I could talk to her? She's probably down at the plant. April, I have never in my life been told I have. Calendar. Am I in the calendar? Yes. Do you find a job? Yes. And if Ruby isn't going to be here I need to go. What's your job? I'm helping Randy Randfeld. It doesn't pay. Then why did you take the job? No one's doing anything. Shirley's back at school like nothing happened. So I got in touch with Randy and said I would help her make things happen. You know her kid brought a gun to school, right? That doesn't mean he should be shot. His gun was loaded. He didn't fire. A girl was spitting on him in class. That was dried mucus all over the back of his coat when he came back from the morgue. But Dustin was the one who got in trouble and the girl doing the spitting was one of Shirley's favorites. So Shirley cornered Dustin and said if he ever came near one of her kids again she would kill him. And then she got him expelled. Who told you that? Randy. She's been telling everyone. But no one will listen. His whole life the boy was picked on but who was ever there to defend him? That's what his mom keeps saying. Who was there for him?  He was there to kill himself, Janelle. Look, he succeeded. You don't know that. You don't. It's what Brandy says. Brandy is a link. She is not. She calls here almost every day trying to extort Ruby. Victims can't extort anyone. Ever since we announced we were making the secretary and she doesn't want money. So she can buy cosmetic surgery. She wants justice. And rename the football field.  I'm sorry, I don't have the things you like. He drove by. Who do you think? Your husband? Are you sure it was him? Yesterday, he pulled into your driveway, smoked his pipe and left. April, call the police. He's not supposed to be anywhere near you. You need to call the police. I already called the police. They said I should move. Did you tell them that I'm the only one you've got and that there's nowhere else for you to go? Brandy said I could stay with her. April. All of nowhere. We're already working together and she has some extra room. But April? It's already done. We moved my stuff over this morning. Janelle. How many times do I have to tell you do not point your gun at me? I wasn't pointing at you. I saw you pointing that gun at me when you walked in. I don't know what you're talking about. Ask April. You saw her just now. When she walked in, pointing her gun. I didn't see anything. April? And there you go. She's always pointing her gun at me. When I turn my back or bend over or write an email when I'm in the kitchen at making popcorn. Ruby called and says you're supposed to be down at the plant. I'm getting there. She said you're supposed to be there 20 minutes ago. I had a visit from my sister. Half sister. And she's not on the calendar. Janelle? You were on the calendar. April? I swear. I put you there. Lori, she gets on my computer, hacks my passwords and changes the calendar behind my back. Do I look like I know how to do that? Stop accusing me of things I didn't do. I don't accuse you.  You did? I like the fax machine. I am good at the fax machine. Why would I use curse words? And she smacked it. It was beeping too loud. I need to go. No, stay. I'll be right back. We just hired 40 new people on the production line for our new guy and the secretary and Ruby has me give all our new hires a training session. About how to look busy. And it can't. I'd rather make an appointment with Ruby for later if that's all right. Okay, great. April? I'll look at the calendar and set up another appointment when I get back. That gut will fit behind my desk. True. What's true? What they said in my classes about the three kinds of people who create toxic work situations. The liars, the stealers, and your immediate superiors. Can you make sure Janelle puts me on the calendar? Okay. But I am starting my own calendar. That Janelle won't know about if you would rather be on that. When is the next appointment? Let me check my calendar. Sorry? So, you're the one helping my cousin. Randy. She been talking on the phone about you. It's an important cause. That's what she says. Getting a football field renamed after Dusty. Dustin. And we're doing other things. Football field is the only thing Brandy's calling and bragging about. Well, it's important for her process to have some good things to remember her son by. Do you think Dusty liked football? Because he didn't. It's Dustin. He goes by Dustin now. If Brandy wanted to call him Dustin, she would have made him shower more often. Maybe if her family would support her, Brandy wouldn't need to rename a football field. She would have made him shower more often. She wouldn't need to rename a football field to get people to say nice things about her son.  It's something my grandpa told me when I was little. That I will never forget. What? Stay away from Brandy. Unless you want something to happen to that baby. I don't know what you're talking about. You can't fool me, April. I've got the gift. I can sense it. We had our barn cat fix last spring. I've been saying the vet didn't do it right for months. And what do you think I found under the porch last week? Kittens. Gosh. Oh, even plus the intercom. They say the intercom is broke. But that's just what they say. So you don't think people are listening. I'm not pregnant. If you're worried I'm going to tell Janelle I won't. Because I feel bad enough with me stealing your job. You didn't steal my job. That's not what Janelle says. Everyday. I didn't. I didn't want to work here. Well, I didn't want to make my husband meatloaf last night. Like, I didn't. Anybody. And Janelle's right. You should have got this job if I hadn't used my personal connections. I went to school with Ruby's daughter. So I knew all the right buttons to push. You get what I'm saying? No, I don't. Like, I started my interview with her. I was sorry about what happened to her daughter. Then I gave her the look to say that I know I know She killed herself. But do you know why? She got knocked up. I've never heard that before. That's because no one knew besides me. Because I've got the gift. And when you have the gift you don't spread it around. People think you're crazy. When her daughter was pretty going to college she didn't have problems until she got pregnant. Did you find me an appointment? Yes. What time? Whenever you get here. In my calendar you just show up when you like. Tell Ruby that if we don't hear from her there's going to be action. Get as far away from Brandy as you can. For the sake of that baby. Because Brandy will sell you out. First chance she gets. She's doing it to my dusty. She'll do it to you. Lori pledged the intercom back in. I was just kidding about the intercom. End of scene. End of scene. Scene five. Ruby's office. Janelle hands Shirley a cup of coffee. You didn't have to do this for me Janelle. Yes I did. Ruby said Janelle. It's all my fault Janelle. My sister didn't make me coffee this morning. She wouldn't. So when Ruby offered I couldn't resist. It's just that I'm an office manager. I know you don't bring coffee. But I had to be particular. Said I didn't want my coffee from Lori. Burn them. I had to have Janelle bring it. Because we're old buddies. I'm happy to help you Shirley. But you also didn't make an appointment. We don't allow people just to show up. But I understand. Because you are having an emergency. She is so nice. And pretty. I always said that about you Janelle. I don't know why she's not married. She's dry. Can I get you anything else? I remember her in high school. I always said she was going to make something of herself. Because she always had that smile on her face. Even when your dad died. You wouldn't have known. She just kept that smile on her face. And I always respected that. I should get back to my desk. I hope we get a chance to catch up before I leave. We never catch up Janelle. She never visits me. I ask her. She never does. But after you're done with your emergency. So good. Janelle still has that smile. Even after all these years. She's abused. Did you know that? Her and her sister with the father. I don't know if it was sexual. We suspected of course. She was always so nervous in school. And we found her crying in the bathroom. But she would never say what. She kept that smile. How's being back to work? We got hit a few times. And probably the sister. I remember once. When Janelle came to school on the bus. And the principal had to drive her right back home.  And Janelle was so worried. I've never seen someone so worried. I always wonder if the sister actually had the flu. Or if something else was going on. You know. You never know with people what's going on in their homes. I always felt bad about that. With Janelle not speaking up. You're good. Yes, why? You said you had an emergency. Yes. I'm not good. What's the matter? My sister told me this morning. I hadn't even eaten breakfast. I can't stay with her anymore. Did she tell you why? It's my cat. Is your sister allergic? No. Of course not. She has five. All the time. Where's your cat? Where's your cat? You know how that goes. It's my cat but her tragedy. How long has he been missing? Who? Your cat. She. How long has she been missing? A few days. I really didn't think anything of it. Cats are always running off. But then my sister found her. This morning. Nailed to her mailbox. I couldn't live with my sister anymore. Did you call the police? Yes. And they were very kind. Until I asked to get my gun back. And they won't let me have it. The sheriff said something about a database. Put a note about me. Probably nasty. So I can't get a gun. From a store. Because of what he put in that database. Because I tried. I drove three hours away across state lines. It was humiliating. All the stores. They said they couldn't sell me one. But you're not being charged with a crime. I told the sheriff that. Pleaded but he doesn't like me. A few years ago I saw him take a candy from the concession stand at a football game. So I told on him. But the sheriff he just charmed everyone. Made me look small. Petty and nitpicker. So nothing happened. When he was leaving he leaned in. Put his hand on my shoulder. His mouth to my ear.  Then smiled like he just told a funny and walked away. Do you want me to go talk to him? He was just a candy. He'll probably forgot about it. About your gun. Getting it back. I couldn't let you do that. Well he'll think I can't stick up for myself. No. That's too humiliating. You have to let me help you. Okay. I will let you help. Good. The secretary. I want one for myself. I don't feel safe Ruby. You understand. I don't feel safe anymore. There's this old car. It's been driving by every day. Sometimes at night. My sister said it was nothing. But I don't know. Now I just don't know. Ruby, sorry to interrupt. I'm in the office right now. Were you listening to our conversation? No, Lori told me. How did Lori know? It's not my job to watch Lori. Yes it is, you're her manager. Then I'll look into it. But I'm sorry Shirley. We don't have the secretary up here. Well there's one in the display case. That's for display. We can replace it. I can't give it out. Why not? Is Lori listening in? No. I think it's a very good idea. Why not? When April came back here she told me that she was... Oh my lands! Shirley spills her coffee on the floor. Are you okay? I'm so sorry, Ruby the coffee was too hot. My hands are arthritis. I just spilled it. I'll have Lori come in and clean it up. I don't want to bother her. You can help me. Now, and I'll be right back Shirley. We'll get you all set up. Sorry I made you get the coffee in the first place Janelle. I didn't know that I'd spill it. You must think I'm a bird brain. It's perfectly fine. But I'm glad we can talk. I was going to stop by your desk. I brought you some candy. No thank you. It's your favorite. That's okay. No two whole bars. I'm fine. Good. She hasn't come to see me since she came back to town. So I don't know how she's doing. She's doing good. When she was in school we were very close. Did you know that? She called me mom. And gave me a mother's day gift on her senior year. A little swan. Still on my desk. On the bass it says love. Did you know she did that? No. So I was very hurt when I heard she got married to her college sweetheart. Professor. It was her college professor. I wasn't invited to the ceremony. There wasn't a ceremony. It was at a courthouse. She didn't tell a lot of people. When my girls get married I send them a quilt. Always. When you get married you'll get a quilt Janelle. But only if I'm invited. That's very sweet of you. April because she never invited me. They're getting a divorce. I don't believe in divorce. You don't know her husband, Shirley. He got in trouble at his job. Because April was in one of his classes. He said getting married was the only way to keep his job. But he'd already been fired. It was all a lie. She didn't find out until later. And it was too late. Is he why April's been so nasty? I don't know what you're talking about. She used to be sweet. Gentle. Calling me mom. You know April's been saying things about me. No, I didn't. Terrible things. All around town. Things I would never say about anyone under any circumstances. I'm sure she didn't mean it.  Statistically speaking I will murder again. I've been going to that man for 40 years. He used to bowl with my husband. I made him jello salad for all his kids' graduations or first communions. But this time he was rough with me, Janelle. I walked out of his office and my mouth was still bleeding.  It has to stop. I don't talk to her. I need you to more than talk to her. Shirley, you're hurting me. None of my kids at school will talk to me. I have to sit at my desk alone all day without any visitors and they whisper about me whenever I go to the hall.  I can't.  Yes, please let go of my arm. I need you to stop her. I'll talk to April. No, Janelle. You need to stop her because if you don't, I will. And here you go, Shirley. Secretary. Thank you. This should keep me safe. End of scene. The secretary was launched this morning. But order totals have been below expectations. It looks like it's not selling at all but I'll keep an eye on the numbers and let you know if sales start to pick up. Janelle, do you have something you need to talk about? No. No, no. It's nothing. Why are you crying? It's... I can't talk about it.  No. How many times have I told you that if they asked to meet at a hotel off the interstate, they're not looking for a relationship?  Then why are you crying? Janelle unplugged the intercom. What are you doing? Lori listens to what's going on in your office through the intercom. She pushes a button. Yesterday she listened to you eating your lunch. So now... See, Pager's going off. They said if I don't show up faster I won't get to drive the truck anymore.  Ruby! She's upset about the copier. Yeah, looks like something happened to her. Well, Elden, and get our... Is it loaded? Let me check. Yes. Unload it now. Am I in trouble? How about you tell me? No, I am not in trouble. Did you shoot the copier? No. You didn't accidentally shoot the copier? No. I can see into the office right now. There's a bullet hole in the copier. There are pieces of copier all over the floor. I can see a piece of plastic from the copier in your head. Someone shot the copier. I didn't do it. Janelle didn't do it. Did you do it? No. Then how did the copier get shot? The gun did it. The gun did it. It just fired on its own. You didn't pull a trigger? No. Can you explain that to me?  I was writing an email, not even being near it. And it just shot and hit the copier. So don't get mad at me. It's your gun. It's your fault. You shouldn't be yelling at me. You should be yelling at yourself. This gun's not right. And now we've lost the copier. I understand that dumb accidents happen.  And I understand they do dumb things.  I'm sorry. But that's the truth. You're fired. What? I said you're fired. May I ask why? You shot the copier. But I just told you very clearly I did not shoot the copier. I was alone with a loaded gun where the copier was shot. You could have killed someone. I could not have killed someone because I didn't do it. Your gun did. And I am not getting fired over your defective gun. Guns are not defective. People are defective. You are defective. Maybe that is a story where you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about what you do. Get out. You are going to be sorry. Are you threatening me? No. I am not threatening you. I am saying that one day you'll see I'm right. And that your gun shot your copier and you are going to be sorry about how you treated me today. Do not point that gun at me. I'm not pointing it at you. I'm not pointing it at me right now. If I was pointing it at you I would do this. But I'm not doing this. I'm just holding it. Like this. I do not allow anyone to threaten me with a gun. I am not threatening nobody. Is that what you think I'm doing? Just because I'm holding a gun while we're having a conversation. I'm letting you know that I don't want to leave my job. You're the one who's talking about shooting people. Not me. I'm having a rational conversation about an office disagreement. Ruby, there's ambulance and firetrucks and police outside. They'd like to talk to you. Did you call them about the copier? No. I didn't. Then why are they here? End of scene. Scene 7. Ruby's office. It was just a protest to get attention. For Brandy, it's called a die-in. You just pretend to die to make a point. Usually people don't think it's real. You should have thought about that before the whole town came to look. A lot of people around here have never seen a dead body. Do you know how scary that was for people? No, I'm scared. I'm terrified. And I've seen a body before. Then I made my point. I can press charges for trespassing. And then you'll be in jail. I'm fine with jail. Good. Because I'm willing to do that so that I know you're safe. It was fake blood. That's not what I'm talking about. Janelle saw your husband. He was in the crowd smoking a pipe, watching you. He's not going to do anything until he's gone. Really? Can he go away? You sure? If I don't engage, he'll move on.  Excuse me. Janelle told me about why you left him. Janelle doesn't know.  That's not why I left.     And then the only thing I could imagine that was worse than if I died was if I lived and had to explain to my child why I stayed. Does he know? No. He's going to find out. He comes after you. I'll call the police. Lock the door. Police take time and doors can be unlocked. I'm not going to carry a gun. Why not? Because when I murder, I like it to be more challenging. I'm going to give you a choice.  I know the sheriff. I'm friends with the judge and we can keep finding reasons to keep you there. That's not legal. Or you can take the other option. I've got a big house. I'm 30 acres. Outside of town. There's an apartment. It's attached for guests. All yours. You won't even have to see me. I'm not going to do it. I'm not finished. I make these cinnamon rolls. I call them stickies from scratch with the best frosting you'll ever have. My guests get those every morning and you'll be safe. My house is safe. There are cameras and fences and me. With a lone widow. I wouldn't have to worry about anyone getting anywhere near you. Brandy needs my help. Please, April. Please come home with me. Please. Come home. If I ever needed a gun. I did once. We all do at some point. My dad kept a pistol on top of the refrigerator. He used it to shoot things. It made him mad. A lamp in the living room. Squirrels from the kitchen window. Our telephone more than once. One night he shot my dog. He said we'd get a new one when he got work again. But I didn't want another dog. I wanted him to die. And that's when I needed a gun. That's not what I was talking about. I'm not finished. When my dad passed out that night I climbed on top of a kitchen chair got his gun. Walked into the bedroom and shot four times. First the headboard. Then the window. The third time I hit his pillow. By the fourth shot he was up and then my dad slammed me up against the wall and said that wasn't very smart. When I woke up I was so banged up I couldn't lift my arms or get out of bed. Janelle had to feed me for a week and carry me to the bathroom. My dad felt really bad though so when I turned ten he got us another dog. So please send me to jail. April. April! End of scene. Ruby's office. Elton is the only one taking care of her since the stroke. All the cleaning, bathing, cooking, feeding and all poor Carolyn can do is lay there but he won't let anyone help so he can do it but he's not sleeping eating right. I went over there to ask him about fixing the intercom again and found him in the garage arranging his tools I think he'd been crying. But the intercom is fixed. I think so. I can't get someone else in here to make sure it's fixed. You can't do that to Elton. We already got rid of the chair. Her chair. She was the one always believed in me. The only one said I would make a good office manager that I would find love that I could do anything I put my mind to. And if she found out that the copier got shot under my watch. Is this all you needed to tell me? No. Your appointment is here. Which one? You know, you're not the only one with things to do today. Brandy, Randfeld. Come in, Brandy. I'm not just here because you asked me. I'm also supposed to pick up Laurie's stuff. After the way you treated her she won't come back and get it herself. She didn't leave anything here. Yes, she did. Or why did I make this list? There's your secretary's diploma on the wall behind her desk out there. Janelle, will you get the diploma? Okay, but that's all Laurie left. There's also a bottle of Jose Cuervo in the desk. Really? Just give it back. Laurie wasn't supposed to have that. And she wants her spit cup. That's my coffee mug. If you're gonna fight with me over every item I can leave. Will you just get everything on the list together, Janelle? You better get a box because this here's a long list. I got my friend's car running outside and if I turn it off it might not start up again and I don't know how much gas it has so you don't got all day. I was thinking we could talk about helping you the football field, the money. Really? April's demonstration changed my mind so I'd like to help you grieve by giving you things. So you will do things when someone pretends to die but she won't do things when someone really does die. It's a business decision. I don't want any more of these demonstrations affecting sales. They don't. Janelle was bragging to me out there that your sales number on the secretary are going through the roof because of April. That if someone would pretend to get shot in front of the office every day you could get rid of the marketing department. My company is my family. April's half-sister works and April is family. And she has a husband who is making her life unsafe. I am worried and I want her out of your house. Camper. Excuse me? I don't have a house. I have a camper. I think April would be safer living somewhere else so I'm ready to discuss your list. I decided I don't really want those things on that list anymore. Why not? Because I found something I want more. Lori's not been answering the phone. And her husband's been calling everyone to come help out. She's not feeding the animals so he has to do it all by himself and you know he's disabled. So I had to go over there and me and Lori get to talking and she told me that you got a gun that malfunctions. We don't have a gun that malfunctions. Yes you do. The Shirley? Secretary. Yes. And you don't even have to pull the trigger. And I was thinking I could use a gun like that. I've had a lot of people in my life that didn't treat me good. A lot of people that deserve to get shot. I made a list. My mom. My pastor. I know that's why people who have hurt you so that you are protected from being hurt again. I'm not the kind of person who ever do the shooting. You don't have to worry about that Ruby. That is not me. I'm sweet kind. Generous. A vegetarian. I mean I can handle it knowing I killed someone and that's why your gun sounds perfect for me. We don't have a gun that goes off on its own. I don't like liars Ruby. I don't like them people hold out on me. Get out of my office. No. You asked me here. Ruby presses a button on her intercom. Janelle? Over the intercom, which now renders speech backwards. Irma? How did you get out of my area, Irma? Janelle? Ben isn't the one you have to worry about. He doesn't even know me and he called. Said he was sorry for what happened to my son. Said it was a terrible tragedy. And did Shirley ever call? Did her family ever stop by? No. But April's husband did. He stopped by. Gave me a hug. And he's a stranger. He doesn't know me. He didn't have to do that. What did you do? Just because I talked to a guy doesn't mean I'm trying to sleep with him. Sometimes people just want to compensate. I didn't lead him on. Why would she say that, Ruby? Because his son is the greatest gift you'll ever know. Did April tell you she was... Prayed it? No, Laurie did. She's got the gift. Am I going to be an aunt? Half-aunt. But April's husband didn't even know. April never told him. She was keeping it from him and that should be a crime.  Not if I can help it. Ruby gets her glasses, grabs the loan window and loads a magazine. Janelle? Bring your car around.  Brandy, you better hope nothing happens because if it does, you have to answer to me. You might be mad. You all might be mad. But you're all going to fight me for opening that camper door. Because if you've got someone who lives so bad, you should let him. Nothing. And you know what that did to Dusty? Thinking his dad don't like him? He was dead long before he got shot. He was dead for years. Oh, she's not. Are you the new secretary? Yes, that's me. The new secretary. It was nice to meet you. It's nice to meet you. I'm Shirley. I've heard a lot about you. Do you know where Ruby is? Oh, you just missed her. Can I help you or something? Well, I was really hoping to talk with Ruby. I need to return her gun. Is there a problem? Oh, no. There's no problem. I just think I got an effective one. It went off by itself. I've heard that happens with these guns sometimes. When I was at the school, a couple of kids broke into my desk. Into my purse. Into my candy. All of it. And I told the principal but he wouldn't listen. Said I was threatening the kids. I wasn't. That candy is for good kids. Not for stealers and liars. I was just trying to find out who took my candy. He told me to go home and calm down. That sounds like a difficult situation for you. Thank you. It was. And it gets worse. When I was driving home, I saw a girl running down the middle of the highway. Trying to get people to stop. People were swerving away. When I got closer, I saw it was someone I knew. One of my girls. April. I was her mom in high school. It had been so long since I had seen her. I pulled over to the side of the road. Even though I didn't have any candy. I wanted to know if I'd done something. Said something to make her not like me. But then, an older man was there on the other side of the road. He was April's husband who didn't invite me to their wedding. And he was dragging April into his car. And I didn't know what to do because she kept yelling to me, I'm fine. Everything's fine. Because he pumped her across the mouth when she tried to get out of his car. And no one hits one of my kids even if they don't love me. Even if they don't like me. Even if they want me to go away.  And I wanted to tell Ruby because she'll understand. I'm Shirley. Sweet Shirley, old Shirley. I don't do things like that. I understand. You do? Of course. It was your gun. It does the shooting, not you. Yes, that's it. Let me help you.  I know where we can put that gun. Are you sure? It lives to help. Thank you. I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. Brandy. Rand fell. I think he knew my son. His name was Desti. I'm sorry, Brandy. It's out of bullets. The gun shot them all with April's husband. And you'll see. A woman from church was telling me that her son was running late for school just this past week and when they finally got out the door the bus was pulling away. But just then the tire on the bus blew out and her son caught the bus. One of those everyday miracles you pray for. But when the bus driver was changing the tire he said it looked like it had been shot. And even though this woman always carries the secretary she swore on her mother's Bible that she didn't pull the trigger. I guess it just must have gone off on its own. The secretary does not go off on its own. I'm just telling you what people are saying and it looks like it's not just the secretary that's going off on its own. Now it's all our guns across town. One of the lunch ladies at the school her gun shot the hot lunch bar. My neighbor's gun shot my other neighbor's gun and someone's gun shot the ATM and money flew everywhere. Someone should call the police. But their guns are going off too Ruby even though they're trying to fix that. Is everyone okay? Well, yes except Brandy Randfeld she got a hold of a gun that malfunctions real bad. She showed up in the town square and her gun was just popping off, shooting everything cars, signs, buildings, trees, birds.  What do you want me to do about it Janelle? Oh no one's asking me to do anything.  Why would you do that? Sales are through the roof. The more our guns go off the more we sell. Copy your jammed. Do you have to treat it gently April? It's new? It's five o'clock. I'm supposed to be done for the day. Can you hold up a minute April? I'll go fix the copier. How was your first day? Fine. Did you learn anything new? No.  Are you living alone or do you have roommates? Alone. That will be nice for when the babies comes. Are we done? No. Sit. I know that you think your job is temporary and that you're going to leave once you've gotten back on your feet and I'm fine with that. I told you I was fine with that when I hired you but I have certain expectations while you're at my office. Okay. Like pictures I expect to see pictures.  I expect to see it. April pulls out a small picture. Oh this is adorable. I've decided I'm not revealing that yet. Oh so it's a girl? I didn't say that.  I never said it was a girl. She's making a gun. She takes after her Nana Ruby.  That's what they told me when I walked in from my appointment.   I can't help what happens to our guns once they leave the plant. But they're going off all the time. They're not my guns any longer. Why aren't you taking down the website? Figuring out why? Because April Francine Maplewood people like Francine Maplewood they need my guns. Francine Maplewood isn't real. She's a lie. You made her up to sell the long widow. You're right April. You got me. I made it up. The whole story. It's a big lie I've been telling to everyone. I thought so. Francine Maplewood wasn't her name and she had a daughter. So she wasn't alone when the three men broke into her house. And after she was thrown down the basement stairs she didn't come up with a gun because she didn't have one. So when she crawled up broken and bleeding she had to sit there in the dark and watch the men while they took turns with her daughter. So you can imagine I like Francine Maplewood's ending much better. It's not your fault April. It's mine. Ruby opens her coat and pulls out a small gun from her pocket. This is the last resort. It's the gun I always keep with me. I want you to have it. I've told you I don't I don't need a gun. I'm sure you don't. You're smart. Nothing will ever happen to you or it does. Sorry, I can't. Please April.  I'm never going to use it. Good. Nothing would make me happier in all the world than if you never had to use it.  Have a good night. See you tomorrow. I just got a call from Alyssa. That's Elden and Carolyn's daughter. She said that Elden can't come in to fix the intercom. Carolyn's gone. She passed away. Can you send flowers from the company? I knew she'd been getting worse and worse since the stroke and Elden was having trouble taking care of her. So it's not unexpected. But Alyssa said when she found her mom she'd been shot in the head and Elden kept saying he didn't know how it happened but Alyssa found a gun hidden behind the refrigerator in the garage and she showed her dad and asked him what was going on and he said maybe the gun knew she wanted to go and I thought that it's kind of a lovely thought that the gun did it. It's the gun's fault, not the person because that means everyone's good and happy and your daughter didn't kill herself. The gun did it. She was happy. It was an accident. Like a tornado or cancer or love. It just happens. You better get home for the night. I'll go lock the door. Let me know if you need anything. Thank you, Janelle. Ruby works. Ruby taps her pen. There's a sound in the next drone. Janelle? Ruby pushes a button under intercom. Intercom is still broken so it causes all the lights in the office to go out except for a red emergency light. Janelle? Janelle, the intercom is still broke. Janelle? Do you want me to call Elden? Lori, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore? My last paycheck never came so I was coming to check on it. Did you ask Janelle? She couldn't find it. We'll mail it to you. There you have my address. It's on file. It's good seeing you. You too. I want you to know that it was the gun that did all the shooting. It's defective. I want you to know that. No, Lori. It wasn't a gun. You have to believe me. This gun is defective. It just goes off. It does. Ask my husband. Go look at Janelle out there. Then you'll understand.  Lori? Burnham? It's you. It's you. It's you. It's not me, Ruby. It's the gun. And I am going to prove it to you if it's the last thing I do. Because we are going to sit here. We are going to wait. Quietly. Not doing anything. Until it goes off. Because it will. You'll see. Again. And again. And again. Don't worry. It won't take long. Lori stands there pointing her gun at Ruby. The lights don't go down. The curtain doesn't close. The audience waits for another gun to go off. End of play. End of play. And what is your... The top of your response. You don't have to be analytical. You don't have to justify it at all. What are you thinking about right now? The liar stillers from your media super rush. Good one. Yes. Serious subject handled in a very entertaining way. Thank you for that very much. What else? The dialogue was good. The performers up here have any emotional connection to a gun related issue? So this is a question that comes to your head. First thing, right? I promise you'll get a chance to ask that. But for now we're just going to have another ride off the top of your head. But really honestly a question off the top of your head is a good thing too. What else?  So if you thought like a good commentary. Oh yeah. Okay good. What else? Really good. And everything with craziness going on. No one got killed but the cat image was too real. It took me a long way. That was too much. So that's what's hanging with you right now. Cat image? I hear some groans about that. Yes, we related to the cat image apparently. That's a lovely comment. What else? The announcement go look at Janelle or take a look at Janelle was sort of it was it was passed over. And that was really upsetting. It was upsetting for you for that? Just that that was foretelling it. It was sort of glossed over. Okay good. What else? Lots of craziness. Anything else? Yes. I didn't realize there wasn't going to be an intermission. So I was always sort of wondering. Okay. That's a very compelling comment. I mentioned there's not an intermission. That was you know that in the beginning. It just seemed like I kept waiting for it to kind of go down and then there'd be an intermission. So actually my devious plan to keep you on the edge of your seat was thank you for that. What else? There were so many wonderful lines but the most powerful one and I thought about the whole play is when we say my guns are not effective. People are effective and says to poor Thank you. Laurie Garner. You are the best. Okay. And so that's what's really sticking with you right now. The first time the secretary has the gun in hand and it's being cradled like a baby. Say that louder. And it's being cradled like a baby. It's been cradled like a baby. It's a very interesting image isn't it? It's for me what sticks is that people are too vulnerable and reactionary to happen. Oh, interesting comment. Yes. The first time when April came for the job interview Ruby says I had a daughter by the name of April and then later on when she said please come home, come to my place I realized that she and this is only my opinion but I had a sense that she really really wished that the daughter was still alive and that April could come and stay and well she even thought that the baby was going to be her grandchild. So nodding heads but other people will go along with that comment and gather down. What else? It's an interesting topic for all women cast. Yes. Interesting what they did on the character of the secretary because you know here you like her also and then there's this huge twist that we don't know everything. Thank you for that. All of them was incredible. Like we're bringing in the stories and getting a real sense of what the town was like as well. It was very, very well said. Thank you for that. The guns kept going off and Ruby never acknowledged it that they could be defective that didn't prove as a smart business woman that she seemed to be. Did anyone else have a feeling about that? How do we feel about Ruby denying that they were going off? Did that ring true?  I felt like that was the excuse to do what she wanted to do. Yeah. Corporate America. Corporate America? What do you think? Were they going off or was it the people shooting what they wanted? I'd love for you to talk about a little more. What do you think? Did you feel like there was anything that tilted you one way or the other? That it was the guns or people? I sort of thought that when Lori's character brings up that it could be possible that it just went off that everybody else was like ooh, wow, that's a good excuse and that's why Brandy wanted to get one of those guns so it could just go off and all the people she could list and that it was sort of sounded convenient that well, I'll get one that just goes off like that. I think you want a t-shirt to just stay away from Brandy. There's no one who will know what it means, but I'll tell you that. Yeah. I saw it back here, sorry. Was it somebody else who was going to say something? A lot of self-absorption by most of the I was a middle school counselor. Yeah. A lot of drama. Self-absorption. Lovely gray. Something on a different topic was the fact that I kept thinking of the school secretary that shot the kid but I kept thinking of that one school secretary that talked the kid down and had a gun. I just remembered that image of that woman who talked the kid down and made the kid put the gun down so he didn't get shot contrasted with the secretary just went off and shot the kid. Interesting. But didn't she say that the gun just went off too? That was the first time there was a defective gun that just went off by itself. It just went off? Did he say that? Six times. That's right. That's right. Yeah. I wonder if I can narrow your thoughts for a moment about the characters themselves. Especially Ryan your bell. Who stood out? Who has something that... I hear some lorries. Something from the internet? Yeah. Andrew Kramer's joining us. Lauren first. Laurie? Andrew is now my friend.   I don't know if you care what you said. She tells the truth. She tells the truth? Yes. Anybody else? Who else? He's writing the voice. They also gave kudos to the actresses because you know you can know the way. Cool. I'd love for you. Are there any questions that are unanswered? Either that makes you happy or sad. Do you know what I mean? A lot of questions came up a second ago about were people versus guns. Are there mysteries about this story that you're intrigued about? Did you ponder this? Did you get it? All of the characters have a lot of sadness in their lives and so they're all connected through these tragic stories of trying to find each other in their stories crossing over. It's a sad story amongst all of them in the place that they are in their lives. Anyone want to piggyback on that? Would you agree? Yes? I saw it's a nod. Yeah? Good? It's time. Maybe we brought the playwright back to life and let him come to stage and talk to you about it and you get a chance to ask him questions. Evelyn O'Neill Brush I'm Kristie Berryessa. I'm Erin Parker. Liz Walsh. I'm doing fantastic and I also want to point out my director, Helena Kayes. And my stage manager, Taylor Russell. The play began germinating for me when Sandy Hook happened and that was when a lone gunman stormed into an elementary school and shot dozens of people and I started and I was really moved and affected by it and I was stuck to the news all day and one of the things that I always do whenever something happens I always go on Facebook and I like to see from this really small town in Iowa I always like to see where how people there are interpreting events and how things are happening there and so I got on Facebook and everyone in the days that followed was talking about overtime and they have so much work to do and they weren't going to have their weekend and in my hometown a gun supply company the world's largest supplier I think ammunition and gun supplies and they sold in the weeks after Sandy Hook and the three weeks after they sold more AR-15 magazines than they would in three years so it was this weird moment for me where I was like this tragic thing happened but business is booming in my town and I love this company they sent me to yearbook camp and they gave me a college scholarship and when the recession happened and all those things they were the ones who were hiring, they were expanding and so they've always been a very big part of the community and I've always respected the people who were there and worked there so I felt very torn by this and I started thinking a lot about what I feel about guns and I started thinking about my mom who might be watching right now so hi mom and my mom's in elementary school or was an elementary school teacher and she also really loves guns and some years ago an Olympic marksman came to town and taught her and her friend Marge how to shoot in a goat pasture and this really happened and my mom got really into guns and my cousin's here right now too and she could attest that my mom got really into guns and and it became this funny thing for me because I was calling her granny guns and it was kind of this weird joke that as the guns piled up in our house that we had in our family so there was this other aspect of guns and then they also they took on this also this very kind of emotional thing when I think about guns in my mom because I the first Christmas that I brought my now partner home and it was the first time I'd ever brought anyone home and that was the Christmas my mom got a shotgun that she really wanted so I have this on video and it's amazing because my my partner's sitting next to my mom on the couch and my mom's unwrapping this gun this huge shotgun and she's just like whooping and hollering because she's so excited and then she starts showing him her gun and talking about her gun and they spent half an hour like of her like showing showing him how to hold it and me and my siblings were just making fun of the entire thing because it was such a weird thing but it was this weird moment where I was like oh everything's okay in life and like everything's really good so to all of this I started thinking about when I was thinking about guns they became this kind of kaleidoscope where I was like they're they can be these objects of terror but they can also be these tokens of love and they can be these things that that protect you and they can be these things that like when my mom started shooting it got her out of the house and like it got her around friends and it became this like new social group so it becomes this other thing and that's kind of where this play started for me because I was like I think when we think about guns they're such an American cultural icon and I feel that we get very narrow like everyone narrows in on one thing that they associate with guns and I wanted to see what happens when I guess all of those things get layered on top of each other and people have to have that that talk because I'm not sure if we enough people from enough different perspectives actually have adult conversations about it about why they have a gun or why they don't have a gun so yeah did you know that was going to be a comedy when it started coming together for you? I didn't the thing was like I said I'm from this small town and whatever people talk about they have hunting stories hunting stories are always really funny and they always have some weird like thing like you're in a ditch and there are like pheasants flying all over you but you're like shooting and everything's funny so I think that when I started the deeper that I got into the play and the more that I thought about it, I was like oh but guns are really funny too in some ways and they're really, they can be terrible objects and they can be these things that begin stories and that people tell around when you're sitting at breakfast so I think the more that I got into it the more and that's the thing even and especially coming to this every month for lab that's when I I was trying to figure out what the tone was and I don't know there was a month where it just kind of all fell together and I was like oh this is the tone and this is what it is and I just kind of have to accept that and roll with it so I have one more question did you did you only from the beginning that it was needed to be an all female grouping or did that also just come from the source of your idea? Well it kind of did because a lot of my source was like was my mom and but also when I started thinking about this gun company and I wanted it to be about a gun company and I didn't have a clear image of the guys who run it's a family business it's like three generations of gun company in my town and I didn't actually have a very clear idea of who they were and I couldn't grasp them but there was another woman entrepreneur in my town and she ran a model airplane company and she when she was younger she was a dental hygienist and like there were stories about her around town that she would just ride her motorcycle with her husband and they used to like fly these trick planes and when her husband died she took over the company and she always drove around in this hot red car and she always drove it way too fast and I remember seeing her and she was an older lady and I worked at this restaurant and she would come in every Saturday at five and she would have a filet and she was always there and she became this mythical figure to me and it was just kind of an amazing she was and so I had a very clear image of who she was and I kind of transferred that on to the play and I was like okay this daredevil woman who is really tough and strong and runs this company and has this really fast car and I was like that's my lead character that's great all right you have something you'd like to find out from? this isn't a question so much but I did want to say that whenever this kind of gun debate comes up I tend to classify myself as an environment liberal because my politics are extremely liberal but I grew up in the sticks there is a police force about five miles away only within the last ten years so if something were to have happened where I grew up to us or our chickens or horses we needed the tools to be able to handle that situation so I grew up seeing that side of the story and I think there is a very important middle ground because there is that way of life and then there is the crazy gun nut argument and so I find myself in the middle between some of my right wing friends and my liberal friends and so I just wanted to commend you I felt you were really striking the balance that I see as the important kind of American thing about guns cool thank you it's actually been a great year well yes similar to what your story of your hometown was my stepfather started a company that made cleaning materials for guns and somebody in PR said if you put that in a really pretty package charge double you'll sell a whole lot more which turned out to be the case and when he retired from it his son took it over and of course his son immediately went into gun production and his stepfather was a hunter and everything and now they do make AR-15s and it's like now his sons are spreading that forward they sell out to the military and you can get one you will make it special for you it's months and months behind now because it's so popular but it is interesting to me that they are no longer interested in a rifle which was quote the reason but now everybody's got the huge guns I understand protecting yourself but it's just where we've gone and how we've ever come back always crazy to have some but you handled it really well and I thought the dialogue was super sharp thank you I really appreciate the way it is thoughtful on a politically charged issue but it really isn't a very political play at all because it stays away from satire for one thing it's a very traditional classic comedy structure very character driven structure and by not being satirical it actually kind of mutes the political ideas a little further but they're still still resonating I find that pretty fascinating it's kind of like I kept thinking Steel Magnolias meets thank you for smoking I was telling them because I didn't add my sixth character until March, like the last lab that we had and I was like now we can run this in repertory to Steel Magnolias all the characters line up and then we can just do one and then the other so can you talk a little bit about that it was Brandy and Monday night because we come to labs on Thursdays and then we read whatever we've got and on Monday of that week I emailed Nate and it was like two in the morning that's when I have all my great ideas and I emailed Nate and I said okay I think I'm going to add a sixth character and I've got this idea I think it's going to work and I was like can you get another actress and I think he was going to say no and I was going to be off the hook and I was like this is great but then he emailed me Tuesday morning he was like I got you another actress and I was like oh great so then I like freaked out for three days because I thought of this poor person who was going to come in and I didn't have anything for them and I was really worried about it and then again three o'clock in the morning the night before lab happened it came together and I had this very clear image of who this brandy person was and how she talked and that she had these things and then that day Aaron came in and I was like bam character stage so I mean that's somewhat of a reflection of what the lab process is like for you right for playwrights working in that it's a lot of pressure and it's amazing because then you throw yourself into this pressure cooker and it doesn't come out because you're like I've got X amount of weeks and these people are counting on me to create something new or make this play make more sense and so there's a lot of yeah which was always great yeah and it's Nate going what do you need yeah exactly I'm like I need ideas I like watching the stage reading proves that a good play depends on a good story development and actors that can pull it off very quickly forgot that they were reading there's no movement there's no set and the proofs of a play are in the writing of the actors and the timing, beautiful timing yes so I like that she spoke about Brandy being the last men in addition because she and her desire for the gun was the one that was authentic you know what's even funny about that that just happened like a week ago like that last scene yeah it was like we got together at the end of April and I didn't have the last two scenes and they were just in pieces because I kept putting at the end like oh this some stuff happens here and they kept like what happens what happens I was like oh I'm holding it bad and then like a really crazy week went by and that scene came out of it so it was like again the pressure cooker of knowing that this festival was happening and you guys were going to be here forced me to write that scene or else I'd be publicly shamed so thank you you could thank yourselves for that scene that's right all of these actresses worked with you? yes well we had a number another amazing thing about this process and this has been since September I saw so many people read each of these roles and the most amazing thing about it is that each one of them left an impression on it and so like you see six actresses right here there's like there's 20 people up here who helped develop this play and everything like that and it's the fascinating thing about it was just what people brought to it and showed me what the play was and the limits of what we were looking at and I honestly will like thank you guys so much like I could not have done this play without you guys we're about out of time it's a burning question now it's time so you just mentioned about writing the end of it pretty can you talk a bit about that last beat of the stage direction in particular the curtain doesn't go out of the lights don't go out, the audience sits and waits just that was really interesting to me how that ended so I would love to hear your process of that happening and how that actually would happen in production my thought is and that actually has been there since about the middle of the year I was always trying to work towards that but I always thought that I wanted it felt weird on this play because there's so much things that happen and that's such like we're talking about all these subjects it felt very weird for all of a sudden we stop and it's like it's a show and like we've been fooling you and so I I didn't when I was thinking about this show and I always thought I had a long conversation with Nate about this in January I was like I was like I feel like I need to make a decision about what I feel I feel about guns and I need to make a decision about what this play says and we talked a lot about it and he said he's like you don't have to make a decision or your play doesn't have to tell the audience is smart you guys are collectively much smarter than me and probably individually much smarter than me and I think me telling you what I feel about guns is not helpful for you and it would be probably embarrassing for me so I wanted that ending to leave people with something but also let it sit because I I didn't want to tell the audience that it ends because I don't think that the end it ends I don't think the question of the play ends because I don't think that we as a country have have I don't know fixed guns or we've talked about guns or something there's a conversation I feel is missing in American culture right now and I think it's what gentlemen back there was saying it's like this people on I think that there's a middle ground somewhere and I feel like people can have conversations with each other but I don't think those conversations are happening and that's what I wanted the play just to like let it lead in and bleed out into the into the world so so I guess I'm imagining it's just you know that's it it's the final image and then you leave when you want to and when you're done processing the play you can get up and walk out and it keeps off yeah I'm totally fine with that and you want them to bow in my ideal production there isn't a bow and it's just that those actors just stay there until the house is empty for hours hours there's no end this play never ends I think that's a lovely go to end on I think we should get more


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Dear colleagues, ladies and gentlemen, with that kind of goodness, I have a great pleasure speaking to you about Interpol Global Legislature on this occasion. The Interpol Global Legislature, or ICA, as we call it, is now in the process of the technical development and expected to be operational this year. So today's speech is focusing on the background of the Interpol Global Legislature and its functions. The trade, whether national or international, has been a common thread throughout the human history. The power of trade and endorsement is placed in our daily lives, is embodied just like how there is a way by kind of a plan. Unfortunately, we're there is a trade, there is a easy trade. To date, the estimated cost of the easy trade to the global economy is between 1 and 2 trillion USD. While many individuals may think that buying a number of land at the local market cannot cause any harm. The impact is a trade, and the main source of the funding for many criminal and terrorist organizations. Generally, 2.1 trillion USD, which represents actually 7% of the total value of the vast budget, according to the doubt here. Easy trade is capable, like the team, adapting to the market conditions and cat-actress national boundaries. Before the anticipated product launch, such as new model of iPhone, market has seen it with cat-office point weeks in the heavens. Generally, yet it is a three-trade item we should follow. The shared adaptability and complexity of this market means that it is inherently challenging to fight. Initiative and the technical solutions developed by the countries, regions, and industries remain highly documented and even be product-specific. The challenging, therefore, the lack of interoperability among various technical solutions to fight against this trade, which is, in fact, the challenge that Interpol will see to overcome. Earlier this year, Interpol secreted the general Mr. Nobo had an idea familiar with complexity of the easy trade. From his time as undersecretary of the Treasury of the United States, he believes that to effectively fight against this trade, one must empower everyone, law enforcement, distributors, private industry, and the general public. With this idea in mind, Interpol decided to create the Interpol Rural Register, or IGR. The IGR will be gateway to existing verification solutions, giving access to the information from the product that have been registered and being accessible by the product like always. Through one single channel of information, users of IGR will be able to access appropriate product information, such as images and descriptions of security solutions to help them identify whether the product is the issue. The details of the information provided on the town will be determined by user's profile. For law enforcement, the IGR will be intruded and you will get a tool that will help officers on the street distract the networks involved in the trafficking of AC goods through the identification of the goods themselves or the trafficking trends identified by the IGR as a user. What is more, IGR will be available 24 hours a day during this week, meaning users will be able to receive information when they need it, regardless of their geographical location and time zone. Unfortunately, I do not have enough time to go into the depths of the system architecture of the Interpol Global Register. However, you can find information in the Interpol Global Register pursuers which are available in the helpful list of the next room, which is a decision room, both in English and in Spanish, just like this. And also, the same information can be downloaded on the Interpol public website. Mobile application design. The IGR will be accessible through mobile application as well as web application. Users will simply to scan the product, a product by default, by enter appropriate information which is usually under the medical information or the product registered in the IGR. The application will be designed to be compatible with all of the major mobile operating systems Apple, Backpacking, Windows, and Android to ensure that maximum of users are in a position to benefit from the IGR. The users will be instructed on how to identify the correct information to be entered into the verification field on the product or its application. At this point, one of two responses will be given. One, your product could not be verified. It's a negative. And the other one, your product has been verified for this request. In this case, by one of the IGR partner companies, Amazon Security, more information about the product including images and the distributions with details of the visible disability features. And associated news and a lot which also will be available to certain users. We believe that IGR will have a significant impact on instant trade including the frequency of its detection. We also believe that it will accrue significant benefit for the variety of stakeholders. For consumers, IGR will heighten their awareness of instant trade and potentially prevent their use of these products. Overall, the IGR will improve the safety of consumers whether by identifying potentially dangerous items before they are used. Or, more globally, by cutting off a principle funding source of criminal organizations. For industries, or likewise, we have very significant national and international regulations regarding instant trade. The IGR will in many places allow right holders to duly confine their obligations while offering role of our industry and close to efficient method to counter instant trade on their product. And just also my benefit, or the sum of benefit that we have identified for the consumers and the right holders, is that I have not yet attached to our potential benefit, but on force. The IGR will provide us with high impact too. That can distract the funding of criminal members that's having no effect in areas of crime that do not have seemingly have a great connection with the instant trade. I would like to stress once again that IGR will have a significant impact on instant trade in terms of prevention, detection, investigation, and prosecution. Thank you for your attention, my colleague Eugene So, and I will be available to talk to you if you have any questions. Thank you.


We are not in a global warming scenario, but rather in a global oiling scenario. And this requires leadership. It requires commitment to listen to science and take action at the scale which is needed.