Thanks and what is the requirement of this society of late this issue of mental strength personality development as to whether they are correlated or not is always an issue which we everyone relies that it is important because I was talking to Mr. Nilesh outside the platform and with Mugdha ma'am and Dr. Harish Shethi also that how everything is related with the mind once the mind is strong then the personality is correlated they say that it's the mind as in fact the entire the seed which actually converts into a plant or a tree so therefore the mental strength of the mind is more paramount we have done a lot of webinars and invariably we introduce everyone but today I felt that it's wherein we are talking of the mental strength and the personality development so to introduce a person whose resume speaks for itself but sometimes you feel that you will not be able to do the justice the amount of what actually is the main key point and the google etc you find something special but the common point which as we say in the law also that the common thread running between these three speakers is that they are doing a tremendous job as to how the mind is to be strengthened up and irrespective of that fact it is directly proportional to your personality development amongst us we have Dr. Harish Shethi who is a well known person he has been contributing not as a psychiatrist but also in the legal affairs by taking petitions giving his drafts he's been teaching in the judicial academies then we have amongst us Mukda Bavre she has a she's a co-founder of Disha as well as mind sports I thought that the name was at least very good in the relevance of our theme it's beyond law so we said that the Disha could only be given when we are in the right direction of having a mind development and the mind sport is that because it says that all lies in the mind so when the mind is healthy the the sports of the mind if they are in the healthy perspective it gives a different direction therefore the Disha and the mind sports are interwoven to each other you cannot have a mind sports without a direction and there cannot be any direction without there is a mind sport which going in there then we have Mr. Nilesh Kulkarni who is a sports player 20 years of cricket and making his own niche as they say that it's even better if you have a one day of major highlights of the life which gives you a good days and years to live the first ball we will take from Mr. Nilesh Kulkarni first ball and the debut and taking the picket that itself gives the mind set a right perspective personality and I think he created his own niche in the cricket but he thought that he has one way of could be Mr. Kulkarni after having retired from the sports laying back saying that he could have run much much better there were many opportunities but he thought no the best way to pay back to the society is to contribute they say if you create good nurseries automatically the good plants come and when good plants come they invariably some of them also become trees and which gives the shade and as they say each one each one each one plant one so all three of them are contributing and planting different seedlings in their own way so that the society is better as I said that I will not introduce in the right perspective except for the trailer they say trailer picture so I will ask them to speak to two lines what are the best things what they put towards the society then we will ask each one to speak on the ma'am I'm not audible is it audible yeah yes yes Mr. Nitin you will have to check it at your end and rest can also pitch in as to whether it's audible or not yes Mr. Nitin you will have to log in again rest can also just send a text irrespective of any speaker when they are speaking if there is any audibility issue we will see as to whether it can be done I can also tell the speakers but I have receiving the message that it's audible and at least the three speakers it's a rare occasion where you are asking the speakers to listen to them it's the only moderation moderator that has the key to do that rest are all locked down with all everybody being muted so two things then we will ask everyone to have a different perspective how that mind development mind personality and personality development are different facets which are correlated with each other they'll they have their existence separately and also coexisting together I will ask Mr. Harish Sethi first to say two three things about his own project then Mr. Nugdha ma'am in the Nilesh then we will set the ball into motion what do you Dr. Shetty my name is Dr. Harish Shetty I practice psychiatry in Bombay I work with people and my patients largely I work with the youth I work in the community across the country with different groups and my main activity is to spread awareness of mental health in every Indian across the country yeah yeah yeah hello everybody it's a good opportunity to come here and talk to all of you regarding this topic so my my name is Nugdha and I am basically a sports psychologist but before being a sports psychologist I call myself as a counseling psychologist because that is how I started my practice 20 years back in the field of psychology but being an athlete being a sports person myself I thought that I should give back something to the sporting community and 20 years back it was it was a kind of a very new field so I thought of stepping into the field and taking advantage of being an athlete and contributing it to the field back so now currently I work with all the elite athletes especially who are into different sports as well as grass grassroots level athletes so that's where I am almost all the time with the athletes around me that's fantastic mr. Nilesh we can say that back to back it's like when I'm calling upon Nilesh to speak something I'm just reminded that it is like cricket all three balls effectively taking a wicket it's a enjoyment and once they are three speakers back to back having hearing them itself is a treat to everyone over to you Nilesh incidentally this is my batting order as well so I'm in the right order but hello everyone it's an absolute pleasure I've had a fairly decent career of first-class cricket playing for Mumbai and for India a little bit and then I've had a decent run of introducing India's first sports management institute which we have completed 10 years in our existence the reason I'm actually excited to interact here is I personally feel I'm actually qualified to talk about mental health and a failure acceptance because sport has given me that edge and the leverage because we have failed many a times before we have succeeded and our success percentage is less but what we've learned from our failure and how we've applied it in our workplace is something I'll be sharing with you which possibly will give you an understanding of how we think from a negative to positive and how as sports people you try and accept and overcome all these mental health challenges. Thank you Nilesh before we trigger off for the entire this thing I was just reading that Dr. Shetty is a psychiatrist and Mukda ma'am is a psychologist I was just thinking and even Google was saying there's so much overlapping between the two and it is very difficult to segregate the two we will during the course of the session we'll ask them to explain what is the subtle difference between the psychiatry and psychologists because invariably people say that if you are going to a psychologist you are under depression or he's understanding this and same as with the psychiatry what is the subtle difference between you of between both of you you will decide as to who will explain the difference or you will explain with me also. I think Mukda will explain the difference Mukda go ahead. Okay yeah there's I think yeah there is also a subtle difference or I would say a quite a big difference because especially when we talk about the qualification it needs a different kind of a qualification for both the fields because psychiatry needs obviously a medical background and then it's it's done as a at a master's level but psychology is where we have an arts background and then we do our post graduation in psychology that's a basic difference that I would say between these two fields another difference is a major difference I would say is obviously psychiatrists are qualified to prescribe even the medication and they do work with with maybe higher level mental illnesses whereas psychology or clinic counseling psychologists especially we work with normal day-to-day problems that everybody faces in in their workplace in their personal life so that's that's what I feel is a major difference probably Dr. Shetty saying he's not it's not audible okay okay it's fine so we will ask all three of you to just pitch in for around 10 minutes meanwhile we will have it's a more like an interactive session it cannot be like what webinars we have been holding it's not it will be an education in a different way as they say that sometimes you have to be just studying and sometimes it's an overlapping that you also learn while playing so today it will be learning in a subtle manner of while not playing in the right perspective but yes playing with the words playing with the thought processes how to make a good mind process and then how to make it a good personality development I would also request when three of you are doing this thing we would like that how you actually somebody who came down with psychologically or or was under depression or Mr. Kulkarni sports players also feel that they were doing well but on the D day when it actually mattered he failed that but how did he do well I will ask Mr. Nilesh to explain how that should uncle player marona to patu double zero then for this thing so we will all take all those questions but question and answers can will be taken up after around 30 35 minutes or do you Dr. Rashid well I would like to locate the challenges in today's era and that I think is very important I saw my parents at 5 p.m in the evening but my children see me at 11 o'clock at night that's the difference between the two eras and I used to walk back from my school and I used to see cycles and motorbikes stopping talking stopping talking I usually also see see bullet cards stopping talking stopping talking but now I cannot walk back to my clinic I have to take a vehicle I can't walk there's no place to walk the third most important thing which is very very big is I I I do not enter a house after entering three of houses I have to enter my house because I can't put any to anybody's house without giving a call without taking an appointment without going in so these are the big changes that are happening around us and we see this big change happening around us the most important skill for all human beings for any development that is delicious sports or anything is building emotional wealth what is depleted in the 21st century is the emotional energy you run here you run there you catch a train you go there you don't know what's happening and at the end of the day there's no energy for people to talk to each other who they love so what is very important is building emotional wealth is one of the most important keys to really helping you flower and helping you grow and that I think is important that's number one number two is that that as children 30 years ago 35 years ago we were connected very easily as I said uh if if if everybody understands and I'm sure Nilesh is from my state of Maharashtra and you understand that you eat and get out of there then what happened then that door on one side of one door it folded like this it did not fold like this folded like this then there's a bell that we can open it open that bell should open then what happened the second door came and there came a fuel that is a shift which happened across time and then what came was a man on the ground floor on the ground asking you so many times I would say my chore would allow me to go those days and then what happened which is extremely important is that the man down who's to who's who would stop you said my phone if they would allow you to come then came the camera so what has happened across time will be slowly became disconnected this connection is the biggest illness in the 21st century so first is building emotional wealth and second is building connectivity is the most important thing for personality growth as as both of them would always say that you need connection and and learning to work as a team in cricket or in life it is the the connectivity where you have to learn to work as a team in spite of having a lot of differences between each other in cricket you did not ask me why I said one color why the other why did you come running I got out so so so building connective that's the big challenge third thing which is again very important is beyond emotional energy and emotional connectivity is building emotional equity in that time everyone was talking to everyone watchmen or principal or hierarchy in my school we were all together I mean there was no hierarchy among people we didn't mind if somebody was rich or poor and there was an equitable equitable relationship there were there were hardly any any any barriers the number of groups was not many but as of now what has happened is the hierarchy of of of living how people of communities has has moved across time and building equitable relationship with people is something which is extremely important for building your personal but one thing which was bad at that time was we could not tell our parents I love you I don't want to know the kind love the kind of love I'm a little more open we started opening our emotions and now the kids of now will not sleep before they tell their mother that I love the expression of feelings also improved in the last 25 years 30 years and and the third most important fourth most important thing is we India started sharing its feelings and which is very important for personality good the next two things again which which which which are very very crucial is okay we learn to share feelings okay the we started the stoic generation in the era of struggle we came to the second generation consolidated in the obstacle and the third third PD is era of pleasure so as we started sharing our feelings we also started to learn that we can share our problems when we were young we would not share our issues about a family with friends so easily but they share the feelings so that they ask for help and the the the fourth most important thing to really build a personality is help seeking behavior I'm not ashamed to ask for that I think it's the most important tool for building personal the last thing is my complete you are incomplete you are incomplete you're all and if you have these five things inside our bowl in our mind and our mind and body you are you are reasonably a well-rounded personality you have the ability to relate to seek help to ask for help to share and also to give in life I think I think these are the attributes which are extremely essential to build somebody's personality thank you thank you doctor Harish in the era of sms there couldn't be more short message which was actually sweet which could hammer the point in the right perspective they say that hammering the nail in the right direction is important and I personally feel that the session has been set into motion in the right way the last mokda bhaavre what are her experiences and how she is what she contains and then or she also motivates by reading the psychology etc yes yes my experience yes being being as I said being a psychologist initially I started working with kids with adolescence and with adults so my experience was where I used to get more number of problematic cases that they call you know if the child is having some kind of an issue maybe a hyperactive child or maybe an autistic child so I started dealing initially with these kids but somewhere later on as I said I changed my field into coming into sports and today's topic what we are looking at today is mental training and personality development and then I got this kind of a connection is where sports is so much into where we start building our own personality and looking at my own experience when I was myself as an athlete for almost 16 17 years of my life how it changed my my way of thinking my my way of behaving my entire personality it's something an amazing picture which I saw almost 20 years later when I sat on the other side of the table as sports psychologist so I'm sure that as being a sport person it really gives a lot and it has a great connection to what kind of a person you've become ultimately because even as Nilesha said earlier that you know we face a lot many failures before we actually experience successes and right now in this scenario even as Dr. Shetty has said there's there's been a great change what kids and children are going through right now and unless they know unless they experience the failures unless they know how to handle stresses and tensions in life it's going to be very very difficult to actually face the world which is becoming so demanding right now in front of them so I'm sure sports has a lot to do when it comes to personality building and it's not only what we are looking at winning or losing but what we are looking at is even beyond winning and losing it's the kind of resilience that you tend to build it's the kind of failures you tend to focus on you learn how to bounce back from all of these things and you become a different person altogether so it's not that when thousand people are into sports not everybody is a winner maybe it's just five or six people who turn out to be winners or champions but there are rest of the people who learn the lessons of life and are able to better cope with these life situations or maybe stresses of life in a better way thank you ma'am the point well taken that as as in the newton law they say that to every action and to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction of the same strength now that is very relevant because as they say if you are you feel start depressing you will create negative vibes and the entire in and around the surrounding that if your positivity and positivity is just like it's like a bottle of perfume the moment you open you need not spread it it automatically spreads so go to negative while both travel but it is only the entire endeavor in the society is to build a better society and as mr. nish said sports is one activity like in academics you have quarterly exams monthly exam but sports wherever you are playing daily you are playing today you are out next day you succeed so so the success proportion and the failure proportion in sports is much much more therefore invariably the studies say that the sports player are able to cope up this thing whereas the academicians sometimes fail because I was reading one of the articles that said that a person who had been throughout gold medalist and he couldn't get promoted one point of time that was his first failure and that too at the age of around 35 he just couldn't go pop off that he couldn't realize that there could be concept of failure also whereas in sports even if you play start playing at 10 in the first month itself you will see success or failure rather than my speaking I would ask mr. Nilesh to put his inputs because he has seen everything they say straight from the hustle out thank you thank you for this wonderful opportunity and especially after to speak after Dr. Shetty and Mukda you know you're you're burdened enough in terms of your mental preparation what to say and how to say the good part is you know I come from a humble background and I am from vernacular medium so I studied all my schooling in Marathi so my first challenge was to understand English and then speak English fluently to communicate and I had to first I used to be shy person I always had this complex of how I can communicate but I had only two options either just become shy and stay shy for the rest of my life or I evolve start learning start bouncing back and then start communicating to make friends and I agree with Dr. Shetty when he narrated couple of stories when I started playing cricket from Mumbai we used to travel in train buses and used to share rooms so the communication always would have two ways two different perspectives whether we like it whether we accept it or not and whether we put a point across or not you would still have a communication the concept of single room for a lot of players now has been an absolute dampener than a killer because you cannot evolve whatever you do is you are thinking is right but the perspective which can give you some idea of your improvement gets stopped I'll tell you what you introduced myself that I got wicket on my first ball in test cricket but I fielded for three days to get my second wicket and I did not get a second wicket in that same test match and I fielded for 950 runs against Sri Lanka for me that was my learning not the first wicket first wicket was obviously is the satisfying thing for any cricketer making his debut for India and you know getting a wicket but the challenge was to put myself into a grind that I belong there at international level and make sure that I broke into Indian team by performing well and still you don't get a second wicket in the same test match and in two days the entire Indian team could not get a second wicket imagine the mental preparation the pressure and you're playing away game so all these things as part of our learning you know it's all about learning and I will narrate one beautiful thing which I always share with everybody RX president doctor APJ Abdul Kalam beautifully explained the definition of fail and Mukda will laugh about it the fail definition is first attempt in learning the moment we have a positive approach towards our failure is your crack into that making sure that you crack the code because that means you are not thinking about the negativity you are thinking about even if you fail what will you improve and for me the real-time sport thing and I always have this emphasis across all platform and I encourage that that sport is actually a real time because we don't have retakes in any sport live sport you play what's gone is gone if you drop a catch you are bound to get stick from the crowd from the captain from the players and if that catch is like a Herschel Gibbs catch in the World Cup you're going to get to more stick and it will be there for next 20 30 years how do you live with it because you can't change it what you have to find a way is the next opportunity you create and that's the definition of no lot of people talk about no is a negative thing but if you want to create your opportunity that's how Herschel Gibbs changed his perspective he made sure that he bring that positivity by getting the team to win a match against Australia in South Africa so how do you look at these perspectives and this is the edge what sport gives you as you're learning these are real times you don't have retakes like you were mentioning about academics you can correct the first semester and better it into second semester when in sport every single moment is a real time moment so the best part for all these things is your preparation work how well you prepare yourself how well you are handling all the different scenarios and situations before you actually go about doing that you know for example a Gagan Narang is shooting for an Olympic gold the preparation work for him starts four years in advance that he goes through multiple scenarios with multiple situations who he creates for himself before he's thinking about that so when he's actually doing that he's just going through the motion because the pre-context thought which he builds in with multiple failures to get that right bullseye is always a process how you think of approaching that and for me I'm not the expert about talking the psychology or the psychiatry but what I have experienced as a player I'm sharing my experience with you because this helped me see you will always be dejected you will always be down with your failures it's human psychology you and me cannot change it what is in our hand is how we think of quickly turning it around and it helps when you start playing sport it helps you overcome that in every moment you encounter and for me that is something you should encourage all that and as I'm part of one government initiative central government where we are coming up with the national sports education board as a policy and in which we encourage schools to start minimum two to three sport and one of them has to be a team sport for their overall development and their learning which eventually will help address the mental health and the post-natal development which is our topic because that's very very critical and for me because sport does not have retakes it allows you to prepare better and it allows you to execute that plan what you believe and what you back is right in a perfect manner you will still fail but at least you will be conscious enough to handle that failure better because the efforts in which we have given in are more than 100 percent thank you Mr. Nilesh what you said I was just like we are having a webinar I was also looking at there was an interactive session with Mr. Vivek you would be doing JP Atresho and he was talking to Praveen Ambray they said what was your feeling that when you hit a hundred he said that that hundred one looks that it is of six hours but the grind behind that hundred was six six years behind that so any any success is not a fluke there has to be a lot of efforts behind it and what you said a point well taken that it's better to try and fail rather than failing to try so since we are going on a different interactive I will ask Mukda to ask Mr. Harish what is his key about it and we can ask Mr. Nilesh means we can also take the questions ma'am any question from Mr. Harish how to think positive how to contribute towards the society if somebody is depressed what is his major take in that you can take the questions in your way okay yeah I think that's the first time I'm answering a question I'm asking a question to Dr. Shetty okay so maybe from a sporting background I would say that you you also must have handled certain sport personalities so what would be your view when when there is a person a sport person even though he has handled many successes even experienced failures and still is in in a negative mindset or keeps thinking about failures a lot more than you know giving best at his processes what's the kind of approach that you feel as a psychiatrist that you would apply or how would you help him or her in this situation versus acknowledge the failure and respect the field it's important to respect the failure yes very important when you respect the failure you learn from the failure yes if you deny the failure you blame somebody else true this is the biggest thing so respect the failure maji largely sorry when when mr. Kulkarn is a little marathic automatically and look at this also and if you are able to respect accept acknowledge and laugh at the failure what is up because you how what sort of a brief I put Michael how did I how did I move my bat without moving my feet outside the obstacle and he understands that much better when you laugh it becomes the failure does not become part of you the learning becomes part of it's a point well taken like what you said like mr. Kulkarn you saying as a lawyer also you don't get a second opportunity that the preparation it has to be done at the first instance you have to argue you don't get they say life has only retakes in in the cricket matches when the player is out you can see two or three flashback all that there is there but in the life you have to just keep on moving you have to move on with the life and the challenges I'm not finished I'm not finished sir sure I'm not finished so if you remember Neelish and the book I will know there's a man known as Mohinder Amarnath and Neelish knows what I'm going to say everybody knows you have to bowl a shot ball to him because he cannot resist tempting the hook shot so so the the difference is when you respect the failure when you accept the failure you learn from that and you know how to position your back look around see the match at what stage it is should I hit the hook shot or not and you don't repeat the mistake Mohinder would repeat it again and again so that is a different one if you learn you don't repeat the mistake and if you still repeat the mistake it becomes a habit and that brings you down I think that is the most important thing for anybody for Harish Shetty, for Mukda, for Neelish, for a lawyer as you say Vikas and if we can we can teach young children in sports academies in schools that life for them lastly when Vivek Abhara shared the other day when his film flop Shashi Kapoor came to his house and said the film is flopped you're acting as you're not failed as an actor and and separating that also I think is the key to all change I though Mukda and Neelish see more more sportsmen than me but in all areas of life that would be as a cub cub as a cub lawyer the new lawyer when you go behind your senior lawyer and the the the senior lawyer says I'm busy in that code you please you please present this and you come back and instead of that you do you do exactly the opposite and come back you're fired in front of everybody else and that firing humiliate that that firing should spur you to do something more and that I think is the key attribute of for every human being yes because yeah I can I can actually share some things as sir has said that you know we need to especially when I work with sports people it's very important rather than even talking about success what I generally do is I I prepare them to handle the threats and adversities that any sport is posing in front of them because every sport in its own way has different adversities whether it is actually whether it is shooting whether it is swimming whether it is cricket we all have our own different adversities related to that sport and if you're not prepared to handle the adversities or the threats is going to be very difficult because when we are into sports obviously the first thing that comes into our mind is how will I win how will I come first how will I defeat this person how will I defeat the other team but rather than winning if we are actually focusing and try to shift the focus onto the excellent centered approach that's going to actually help players to even accept the defeats to even accept the failures and look at it as a kind of a way where there is an there is a room for improvement also considering what could be the adversities prepare for the adversities where I always give an example of Michael Fells when he was into 2008 olympics and he had already equaled the record of seven individual gold medals in olympic it was his last event and the fear that he always had in his mind was what if water seats into my goggles and that exactly what happened on the last day of his main event that was 200 meters butterfly but since he was along with his coach had prepared himself to train for this adversity three years prior to the olympics he could actually handle the situation very well because imagine the expectations the entire world was looking at that race and basically handling that kind of pressure working in those adversities and still breaking a world record and getting a gold medal is not an easy thing to do for an for a spot person if he or she is not being trained to handle the adversities beautiful the example now I can understand while I am hearing all three of you why are you three actually change that spirit within that rather I am feeling instead of moderated after this session I would have a good change thought process and that is required shubham asks dr. hari shethi isn't sharing feelings emotions lead to vulnerability and ultimately people use it against you what is your suggestion and take on this well you don't stand on the terrace and share the feelings with entire world or an entire city you share the feelings with people whom you trust love care and who are mentoring you because that is extremely important and and what is very important when you share feelings you build a bond for example if the shares is feeling for the son or daughter and so I am very angry that you really spilled all this she's building a bond she's not she's not she's not creating a wall so it's extremely important that when you build a bond with your mentor and a coach as as as Nilesh is running a uh sports sports sports management company who is the best came back fiercely so many examples we have in in different sports is it any came back and he said he said I will fight medicine we're not cool he said something very beautiful in all his interviews and that that I I quote for every profession every in any area it is good to do simple things though it is very boring every day keep doing simple things even if it's boring with that one and two also don't try the extra everything all the time and it was simple things well you learn how to do extraordinary things also better I think I listen to interviews of great people and I learn from every interview which is applicable to my own life and that I think is is is the is the beauty of people who have really done that there is no much much difference there is some they rewire their brain and they stay on the weekend even when the ball is turning whether the wicket of life or the wicket of cricket and that I think is the beauty I would want to hear uh I come to hear uh Mr. Mr. this time I will ask uh Dr. Shetty asking a question to Nilesh I want to ask you one thing you have seen cricketers before you with you and after you that's right what are the three most important things you have learned from from cricketers across you could name them which is very useful for every Indian at this point of time in life when we are surrounded by we have covid we have cyclone we have earthquake in bush we have earthquake in tally we have china and we have nepal I think my personal learnings and takeaways from the sports personalities is first and most important thing is control the controllables whatever you have whatever you can do and I have followed one uh learning from all these guys see you have the geniuses like Sachin Tendulkar and Brian Lara you know they are here to do some different service for sports like Michael Phelps and uh all the legends of Michael Schumacher what my takeaways and what I have what I want to share with you is every piece of learning I have acquired from individuals who have interacted with so coming from straight from Sachin Tendulkar I personally feel God has sent him to do all the miracles on this earth but when I asked him one question you know what is it that one thing you feel is is is required and his answer was very simple because his past was so brilliant and his future is so glorious which we all know when I was playing with him he said the toughest thing for him was to stay in the present and one of the biggest challenge we realize in today's world is we don't live in the present you only talk about past and you only think about future we don't think too much about our present and what do we need to do at that point of time and that's something which we need to overcome during this learning I will share one more beautiful incident about Steve Vaugh and I was fortunate to play against him and unfortunately never got a chance to get him out in a match I tried four to five times to bowl at him and never got him out and I asked him about uh what is it that you think he said my preparation starts that I know that I have my strengths and I have my weaknesses but I plan for my weaknesses better because I know I can always bank on my strengths but if I know about my weaknesses I will not touch upon those things which I'm not good at doing so like you were mentioning about the hook like Jimmy Paji which Steve Vaugh never could play a hook or a pull in 165 test matches of who he is he never played a single ball he got bruises on his body but he never attempted to play that ball so he had the ability the mental strength to make sure that he knew what he's not supposed to do so his supposed to do things were a lot easier and for me that's the beautiful thing the third example I will give about Anil Kumble like you absolutely hit the nail about Anil Kumble got criticized he's not a big spinner of the ball so what he's got 690 test match wickets for you without spinning a ball what more certificate do you want from a person who was criticized of not spinning the ball but he won matches for you and out of all the top wicket taker he's the only wicket taker who got a 10 wickets in any ninks for me that's a certificate you cannot buy in the market he believed in his ability he took criticism in his strides and he proved his detractors wrong by his performances for me that's a hallmark of a champion who never spoke and I'll tell you my personal experience when I was playing with Anil Kumble he was such a brilliant guide when I made my debut for India in that same test match Anil was part of it he would come to you and give you immediate feedbacks on this wicket this is happening and this is not happening so don't try it so like you were mentioning before giving your information and a positive information is so critical sharing is caring is the word in his case he literally practiced it for me these are the small things will actually bring a lot of change in our lifestyles and considering these covid scenarios the earthquakes the cyclones all these things what is hampering incidentally even the Sushant Singh Rajput's unfortunate suicide what is happening is we start thinking negatively we start becoming negative what is it that required all of us who are part of this have always got that few positives which we choose to put that into back burner because our negative thought always comes I have experienced something like that and that's when we require Dr Shetty Mukda to guide us in that yes negative thoughts will always be there and that's when sport gives us an edge to forget about the negative and think about the positive and for me I have learned one small last incident I will share it's a slightly elaborative one Sachin Tendulkar we all know is a god gift he can do anything and everything what cricket can ask for but it's a public domain and that's why I'm sharing it it's all available on a public domain and he has quoted so has Raul Dravid in a Sydney test match he was struggling with his tennis elbow and he was getting out caught behind because he could not grip the ball with his top hand and he was getting out in slips and caught behind the day before the match in the nets he said that to Raul Dravid Raul I'm not going to play a cover drive tomorrow saying is one thing he actually said that day before the match that I'm not going to be playing a cover drive tomorrow when I go to bat he went on and did that not a single cover drive he played and he got 240 plus runs so the control over mind of not doing and not getting tempted to do is a brilliant example he gave as a case study to me personally to learn purely because you know it's about controlling your controllables he controlled that he doesn't want to do that and he went on and did not do it is a brilliant execution of what he thought and what he went on for me this is what cricket gave me as a learning and I like you said I must I'm still a student and I like to learn and observe and understand all the legends who share their incidents because this if you start applying it to your day-to-day practice you know sky is the limit for you Mr. Nilesh the point as you hammered that Mr. Kumle used to guide I was just correlating that invariably I talk talk in the offices that they say I is illness and we is wellness so as long as we are not working together so wellness will not be there the only difference between I and V is that it changes the entire perspective of the time thought process I will ask Nilesh to pose a question to Mukda so that what does her take because it's a different platform at I myself I'm at least enjoying the transition so I have I have one question to Mukda and to Dr. Shetty also in different context you know a lot of time we sports people face challenges of handling pressure and the word is loosely used in a psychiatric term and in the psychology term how do you help people deal with handling pressure you know overcoming anxiety you know anticipation all these norms in a sporting environment are day-to-day life but to compare that into a non-spoting environment and then give sport analogy and perspective to overcome that how do you deal with that and how do you overcome these things yeah Mukda first okay yeah so I think I would like to just relate this to against sports because I am as I said 24 by 7 I am with sports people and I have a sporting background myself so first of all yes because I myself giving an example about me I was an extremely anxious person whenever I was a swimmer myself so standing on the blocks I literally used to shiver and that was just because of pressure because if you would have seen me in practice sessions my coach used to say you are completely a different person when I watch you in the competitions and that kind of for changed personality it could be like a split personality that used to say and that's only because of the kind of pressure that I used to go ahead with now being again as I said on the other side of the table we definitely need to understand where is this pressure coming from and that's what I initially do with my because sports people who are approaching me one of the main reasons is because they're not able to handle pressure and they're getting too anxious and because of that they are not really achieving or reaching their own potential so first and foremost being a sports psychologist for me I definitely understand that understanding where that pressure is coming from is the most important point is it an internal pressure is it internal expectations is it the pressure which is coming from external sources be it your coach be it your parents and once we identify the root cause as psychologist we tend to work in a better manner I'll again give you an example my own example when I was just 11 years old and I went into my first ever national and I again had just last event to win to get a national championship and I was into the finals where I had already broken the record of the nationals in the heats itself and that's the time just 10 minutes before my finals there were two girls who approached me and they said you know this is the kind of timing that you clock in the heats and you've broken the record that's really good but you know what do we clock I mean this is what in the heats we just swam very slow let's look in the finals we are definitely going to defeat you and that's where I immediately came under pressure and my my confidence level was completely broken at that moment but fortunately my coach was standing behind me and I think that is where if there are any coaches maybe or even parents that's where I feel you know the message that should come from the external sources especially your coaches that's where he actually helped me and he said whatever even if you come last I will not regret or I will not scold you being a coach because I know the efforts that you have put in up till now so forget about the results whether you're coming first or last just concentrate on the process that you need to do just to complete a 50 meter race and luckily I broke the record I came first so this is where I you know I every time I related to the pressure where did that pressure suddenly came from where 10 minutes before I was a confident swimmer going for the finals and just 10 minutes before that my confidence was broken and that's just because the external sources brought pressure on to me so yes Nile so answering your question my duty as a sports psychologist I always believe and I'm always curious to know where the pressure is coming from rather than just telling my athletes just relax never mind just you know be tension free and just approach your race I think what you have done is you have answered two of the questions which are coming here I can read the questions Sujit Patak says lawyers are facing stress related issues any change in the mindset or mental exercise to reduce the stress level I understand the stress would be there in the legal profession how to cope up I need to I need to answer that that earlier question three things which which we also ask the people is as as as you all said and actually Nile has answered that mindfulness breaks pressure and mindfulness does not start by big practice first is don't watch TV while eating your food start by that and start with food I see the food I touch the food I smell the food I taste the food and and and I completely mindful of it and simple acts of of mindfulness listening to people who are speaking to you completely with all six senses not five six six is the emotion so first is mindfulness the second most important thing is self-talk I have done my well I have practiced under Nilesh Kulukarni I I I have cracked a lot of things around me and I know that I am good and talking to yourself rewrites or overrides a program in your own mind and external pressure that time are not able to penetrate you they are they are they are filtered and that I think is very important third is feedback externally a coach sees you you are you are succumbed to to pressure the coach comes and says see your body did this because pressure has four components thoughts that's the kind of English so self-talk and and feedback feedback is important and the fourth most important thing is that uh are you aware of the sensations which are happening in your body if you reward the sensations your pressure will go down and visualization as as Mukta would know yes for the event visualize your victory visualize the six which have hit to marshal marshal or visualize something you have done I still remember Gavaskar we need an innings in Bombay when India lost that test when he hit 82 in the evening if you remember he was without a helmet without a helmet and and visualize the entire experience a successful experience in slow motion in slow motion and let it penetrate your unconscious so these are the other tools which you can help to understand the to break the pressure thank you for asking me I'm so fortunate to be with I should I should read your name in the newspaper thank you so uh at least you two have been interacting out of three two had a common block try to understand my my excitement that three not known but through a social platform staying connected and so there was no overlapping but uh the as they say that all all rooms are built on four four four walls so I feel that I am I am one of the pillar to make the room complete for the thought process there's a question from Radhika Kulkarni also the first I will read as a uh suede question I thought we answered Mukda yes sir Radhika yes yes I I have okay I'll have to just wear my specs to ask read the question yeah please please please yeah what we will unmute Radhika Radhika can ask the question directly uh Radhika we have unmuted you can ask the question directly the participants who want to get unmuted they can uh post it in the chat box Radhika very good evening first of all while we are talking of this thing you would have to show the video so that I can see that after one hour that there's a confidence exporting within the mind because that would be one of the very sorry I'm very sorry my device is not supporting a video right now so I I'm sorry you will just have to hear me talk yeah Radhika yes go ahead uh yes it's very exciting for me to be on this platform because two of my biggest mentors Mukda ma'am and Dr. Shetty are here but I also um want to share this experience because my brother is an international chess player I'm slightly louder uh yeah is this better yeah yeah yeah yeah so very another interesting thing is that my brother plays chess internationally and I had introduced him to Mukda ma'am so he was training under her also for quite some time so very interestingly what we discovered through his sessions with Mukda ma'am is that uh so he although being you know practicing a lot like how all of you are talking about uh building ambition uh getting into a lot of practice and working very mindfully towards the game he used to do all of that but um you know he he met success very late so he used to be often very dejected very demotivated and you know most of our childhood talks used to be like oh I don't want to do this is to call me a cow we speak Canada at home so you know he's to be very dejected oh what do I don't want to play this tournament I don't want to do this I don't think I'll do this so I've spent a lot of time you know kind of trying to motivate him help him so uh ideally my question here is that okay some who do well who do really well all that they push through but then what about this pack who you know you who need that kind of motivation and guidance what kind of the what like how ma'am was talking about pressure what kind of pressure that sport also negatively play which often puts their um um puts their passion down or you know makes them so dejected that they don't want to continue we have a lot of lost talent also that they can see in most places what would you want to say about that who is this question directed to I anybody I mean nothing like that anybody Dr Shetty can answer this question I think I think I think I would like uh because he he watches he sees a lot of people in his own sport going up and down and and I would add if necessary yeah Dilesh okay I will just add a couple of points you know see what sport teaches you is to handle failure and a person is actually not coming up to that like Mukda have mentioned there are a lot of layers of thoughts which actually leads to that thought process of him or her not being able to cross the line I will tell you from my personal experience I will relate that you know coming from don't really I never experienced playing in front of the crowd you stop thinking how do you get it back on track the focusing part the exercise there are a lot of tools which are available for you to get your concentration going and Dr Shetty and Mukda are equipped to share that but what I practice I'm sharing and narrating that get him to do all these practices you will be dejected you will be going to pull down it's it's sport end of the day one person wins one person loses and you have to first start accepting that how consistently you become a winner is a process it has to start by you start believing that you can achieve and you relate that to any normal day-to-day life it applies in the same same context what sport gives you is the preparatory work how well you prepare for those moments how will you train yourself for those moments helps you overcome that anxiety helps you overcome handling pressure to understand that you know there are gods have created legends and geniuses and there are average sports people the good part is you can talk about you say and what he's a genius people who believe in being are genius because they knew they're up against the wall to beat his time they actually believe that they can beat for me they are the champions and he should start referring to those and if he starts focusing on his aspiration should be getting on him for me that should be the goal he is doing the preparation starts half the battle is of handling pressure and the negativity and the dejection and demotivation he will start overcoming that actually I agree with you I agree with you but also I deal with a lot of actors who because in in films you have 50 roles and you have one lack of aspirants I mean beyond that and everybody will not get a role they go for auditions hundred times and I have actually helped actors leave acting and go to some other profession because they can't hang on for a long time with this the example of Nawazuddin is very rare after 14 years but what is very important there is even if you have not become a champion the learnings across this last five years is going to help you across your life and build your life but if you stand dejected and sad and ashamed you block all the learning there is no event which has not taught you so that is the crucial difference for every person I remember an actress who wanted to make it big she had everything but she failed so I had to sit down with her and help her ask what did you learn in all this she said I really became very strong I'm very resilient I can I can I can work with people I can work with people I can sit and hear shit but I can think through and then respond to it so any experience in any field which you may have lost which you may have gained and everybody will not become number one Neil Armstrong was the only person who landed the moon we don't remember somebody who who landed after him we don't remember any name anymore but I think every experience every struggle be aware of your your learning that gets transferred across life in your other other professions in rearing your children in rearing your family and in helping the community I think that is something that is very important yeah one of the things which I would like to add here as Radhika has said that you know we have so many lost talents and one of the biggest reasons I suppose for that is the the reason why are sports people or why are why the parents are putting their kids into sport because I'll give you one or two examples where I had one father bringing his son along and the son was playing cricket and usually the first session which we have is an intake session a detailed history session and by the by the father said that I want to make my son a Sachin Tendulkar okay now look at the pressure that the child is actually going through that one sentence and we as psychologists I think we are now trained enough to hold on to all these you know those one-liners also give us a lot of meaning to the session in life in life in the film you only remember the one line we don't remember exactly exactly so out of that one hour session we remember that one line and that's where the actual problem lied because the the cricketer the player was not reaching up to his potential because the pressure from the home front okay because the father wanted him to play like Sachin Tendulkar and not like what he or she was at that moment that's one secondly why we have lost talent because I usually write from mca I don't know whether Nilesh also knows I take sessions for our players especially for under 19 and 23 because they are they cannot see anything beyond cricket and that's the biggest problem with all our cricketers because as we always say that you know there are 11 lakh cricketers practicing daily out there but there are only 11 getting into the team so what happens to the rest of them so please prepare for plan B and that's that would be another reason where you would reduce the pressure you will start enjoying the game once you start enjoying the game obviously your performance is going to go up and that's the key to that's the key to the whole thing of mental toughness I think Nilesh wanted to add something yeah I just wanted him to unmute me because I was I suddenly went on a mute that's what I saw I saw where Mr. Nilesh then I saw that he has okay Mr. Nilesh your insights see like I always say I believe one and I have actually practiced that if you know your strengths that's your asset which I believe which every single person needs to think and practice even at a workplace or even a sporting environment because you know you will always feel rejections you will always feel rejections you'll always be you'll always find a super who's you know probably more smart would want to be down it's the ability that you have within you whether it's in the courtroom in your day-to-day life or into sporting environment how you learn to apply that is the key for your success rather than you know you will always find any references for you to learn from you'll always get and I always relate that from a sports perspective Mr. Nilesh Wi-Fi probably yeah that is that is one of the key to be taken that sometimes the way it does what Mukda ma'am said that you have to be always be ready with the plan B so either you had a Wi-Fi or another connection I will ask him to connect again meanwhile we are unmuting Bhavna Khemani she wants a question to be posed directly to Dr. Shethi so meanwhile one has asked what is mindfulness Nilesh is back I think he should answer that Nilesh is back he's unmuting him we are unmuting him yeah yeah Bola sir Nilesh Dadha Bola I think it's raining in Mumbai so even the internet is giving me a trouble we lost you in between I know so I'm just saying that the problem lies in you know taking that decision lot of people ask the question about the anxiety handling pressure situations handling difficult adversities I think the key thing is like Dr. Shethi mentioned is let's first start accepting that you have made a mistake let's first start realizing that look this is which is not which is not on the way I intended it to be the moment you have that as your acceptance half the battle is overcome then you're thinking about correcting it then you're thinking about bettering it and when you think about that then you're thinking about the improvement I think that's where a lot of time you will see a lot of sports personalities if you get out you think about not repeating that if you think about dropping a cast you think about not making the same mistake because if you dwell upon that negativity you will not think about what's coming better for you to correct it and improve it for me that's the biggest takeaway sport can give and for mindfulness and the improvement and the first study development these are the two elements which you can learn to apply and for me real time is sport and there are two fields which gives us the real time experiences one is sport and second is our forces unfortunately forces people lose our life in sport we still get another match if at all we are lucky but you still have that chance it's not a retake but in your lifetime in your courtroom you can still think about correcting it you have an advantage think about that as a positive so before we unmute bhabda a common one person has asked Gaurav the Goyal what is mindfulness they said that time and again we have repeated the word of mindfulness what are you what are you in the present being in the present so start very early unfortunately the the the families of today are very scared of even a simple tantrum tantrum is an opportunity to build values without tantrum there are no values there's no changing to start young even your two-year-old child dhamal kept always the dhamali comes back to you and again starts eating and as he enjoys the eating as he enjoys eating he's in the moment as enjoying with being with the mother he's in the moment slowly when he starts focusing he'll be in the moment it's in the moment that can be enhanced by meditation that can be enhanced by yoga vipassana is the hallmark of mindfulness and our bhagwan buddha mental health professional thing the two biggest psychiatrists on the earth was patanjali and bhagwan buddha and the west patented it broke it into pieces and and had and they have modules vipassana is free of cost but mindfulness we go for a class you're paid mindfulness is being completely in the present being the present and i'm here i'm with you in the show complete independence so that can be practiced through simple methods as a challenge not a big technology well americans convert every aspect of life into technology workshop and a project but eastern philosophies use it mindfully mindfulness and they have been practicing across time across time so i'll advise every family even if they don't like you or any form of meditation just sit down without without doing anything for 15 minutes without reason just watch your thoughts coming and going watch your feelings which come and go watch the sensations is happening and that is slowly shut down and you'll you'll you'll improve the ability to be in the moment it's a long journey it's a long process that's what it is so for example the devil starts saying in the in your workshop take a small grip it's mindfulness in this era it's a era of distraction you can't do multiple things at a time in that era mindfulness has gained more more more momentum it also helps your mind and the body to align with each other it also helps your health to be to be normal thank you doctor we have unmuted ma'am you can ask the question directly and you can ask to whom you have posed that question good evening sir dr shetty yes ma'am hello i suppose you won't have that same problem of video no video problem is not there you can hear me sir yeah no we all want to see you that's what he's saying okay so we say that the self-esteem that confidence to come across that's important i put on my video sir i put on my video so actually i have a granddaughter two years old i want to know how can we train that child right from small age so that she can face the adversities like you know what the children are going through now the pressures of studies and other competitions like you know what are there's just one or two tips where you know the parents can inculcate in their children right from this age if you could slightly enlighten me on this aspect sir this is the brightest person to answer this is mukta mukta please ma'am mukta you're frozen again mukta i think it's frozen no anyway mukta hello yeah actually i i couldn't i hello how can she know i couldn't hear it clearly i don't know everyone is frozen on my screen mukta can you hear me now can you hear me hello anyway hello i'll answer the question yes yes now i can yes mukta she's a grand active grandmother who wants two tips for a two-year-old uh grandchild how to be positive and how to face life in the future hello ma'am the two-year-old yes how to train her to how to train her to be positive hello can you hear me uh yes ma'am you're audible mukta ma'am you're audible hello ma'am hello hello ma'am i'm sorry i think there's a network fluctuation i can't hear anyway i'll i'll i'll answer this if you're not around allow that you are old to be okay sir allow that you're old to be you are a grandmother you're taken care of children you now rest and relax enjoy your grandmother life and allow the child to be that's very important okay see that the child is not given too many rules and too many too many guidelines allow the child to laugh cry play and be himself or herself and what is very important is don't make him street smart huh you all want to make our kids streets Marta ki this cut in dunia may walk out for a zindagi keep that leaf will face kagya jaga make him compassionate the world will make him street smart if you can teach compassion if you can teach the child to live with others and cohabitate if you can help the child understand what is just and what is not there if you can help the child eat well sleep well and play and laugh loudly you have made it no one need to do anything more mrs. kemani kasu karuk karwanu gharaj nati ben etlaj karjotame the way dr. shethi you have given the inputs and i was reading on your t-shirt i'm just reminding that actually when it was discovered it said yureka and that's the key what we have but found today but i'm i'm i'm really happy that she's a very aware aware grandmother and she has mental health awareness as of now at this point in life she would not want to make the same mistake which she has made with the son which is also the thought behind the question because this is everybody likes interest more than the principal so that is why on the grandchildren one tries to pull up to jai ghandi in a life of an employee many times the situation arises where he's expecting more salary than what he gets this remotivates the employee how to stay on course in the right way mukta illish i can answer if mukta you want to answer that yeah yeah nilish please no no no please go ahead i get i get this question even from my students so i'm used to handling that you know there are times where that's the reason you are a best person to answer this no i get a lot of my students come to me and tell tell me that you know they believe that they can manage virat koli so i ask them a question does virat koli believe that he trusts in you to actually manage that part is the answer you need to find first in terms of if you believe and if you equip yourself to be that ready of increase of salary promotion you know change of jobs multiple way if you believe that you justify the expectations of a company or a boss half of the things will be ironed out there because it's not about you are talking and they are listening it's about them seeing it and there's a beautiful story i learned when i was playing cricket by sunil gavaskar sir and i'll narrate it here when i was dejected and frustrated i got five wickets against australian visiting team and i was dropped from the indian team so it was at cci where australian team and mumbai team if all you remember sachin tenukar got his first wounded in that match and after the match got over i was sitting there was a party arranged i was sitting in the corner and very obvious gavaskar sir saw me sitting quietly so he called me nilesh come here i said what happened i said sir just feeling bad but i got five wickets against australian team and i was part of the indian team and i still i got dropped from the indian team he said do one thing knock the door with your performance knock it once if they can't hear it knock it louder with your performance make sure you knock it louder in spite of your louder performance if they can't hear it third time make sure you break the door so even if they can't hear it they bloody will have to see it so that's the mantra you should be following that if you believe in your own ability by your performances even if your boss or superior boss or the higher boss someone will always notice it even if you think that your immediate boss has missed out your performance will speak volume for yourself so you don't need to talk about it eventually you will get rewarded mukda ma'am your insights because the way that when we had asked you to come on the platform i said i had read shreyas sir saying that the entire thought process changed after he was associated with you the insights how do you build that confidence how that person comes to that level just on that mukda ma'am is there i think she's facing a lot she's facing some challenge because she's trying to break the door i would like because you're done with a lot of actors said sir it's like this nobody can stop the sun from shining there is no no or no group can stop any sun from shining you focus on your performance maybe you're not not visible on day one but it's impossible for the world not to see you your biggest skeptics your biggest critics will become your lobbyist and that's how it is i think i echo the same answer which sir gave no sir the fact that's one of the keys but since i was reading that large number you have been treating a lot of actors and as you said that just like cricket 11 lakh people applying even for an iit or medical you have 500 600 but in sports there are only 11 play 11 players ultimately making it so it's more more tough so this depression part would definitely come among actors sir all those have succeeded have certain qualities one is they persevere persevere and and persevere they are not ordinary sir they continue persevere they they continuously reinvent all the time they take feedback from everybody and change change change themselves they improvise improvise and improvise and all those who have done extreme let's let's let's let's look at this difference i should not say this i will not talk about the difference of cricketers today or yesterday but day before yesterday brijesh patel mr kulkarni yeah about brijesh patel in karnataka he could hit sixers in the in in in the first class matches but he but he could not manage his test matches can you have you have sandeep patel was extremely talented extremely talented but but there was no there was difference between vishwanath and gavaskar there was difference between sachinjan rukal and kambli and the and the difference is their ability to work on themselves continuously they did not rely on raw talent all the time and that that is the that is the difference between all great actors and others uh and all those who blame see in life you have you can be a blamer or you can be a bloomer simple simple and if you if you become a sir jindagi i met one man long ago if you break it at the age of 25 you will grow otherwise you go down blamers or bloomers that is the word you need to chew in your mind all the time for all professions for every profession uh some uh saloni gotham has posed a question which will go for all they say that in a profession you are required to be very socially active for that matter any sports or this thing but if you are an introvert uh a personality how to change that mind perspective is it true you have had you to be active so socially i do not know i do not know the great CEOs of the country are very shy and introverted a lot of great skills are very shy i'll i'll share with you an example of from the book emotional intelligence in that in that book there's an experiment which was which was conducted in a in a classroom i suppose muddam joined in a in a you're you're listening to this in a classroom they were asked kids to pair two kids based on on the relationship the kids would have the most shyest kid could pair the the the groups properly and they said this is the girl who will become a CEO she was not about being extroverted by the way extorted people they don't share their feelings up they may look extorted but but but the issue is that uh that introvertedness is a trait which they can have they have skills enough they have skills enough to work work within their limitation there's no need to be socially active and be seen with a glass of wine in all parties i know i know great md's who run companies which are which are which are global they are not seen in the media at all yeah i think one of the points that i would like to make even dr shetty would agree is uh being introvert uh being shy these are all personality traits and at times we are born with these personality traits so rather than getting into changing the personality which is going to be at most a difficult thing i generally what i work with my athletes is accept the kind of personality that you have and manage it and let's work towards it so rather than making a shift from introvert to extrovert which is going to be a very very difficult task except that you are an introverted person and what else can you do so not maybe i mean when i'm talking from sports perspective it doesn't need you to be an extrovert person i myself i'm an introvert so it doesn't really make any difference whether you are an introvert or an extrovert when it comes to performing at a competition or a tournament so it really doesn't matter what kind of a personality you have but yes it's very important that you express your feelings to somebody rather than keeping those feelings bottled up inside you and that's where i see last 20 years of my journey being a sports psychologist i'm seeing so many athletes coming and opening up to me because they know they cannot turn out to their parents or even the coaches so they need to have somebody who they can share certain things so uh what we call it as cathalsis so just open up to somebody and that itself is a therapy so went out your emotions went out your feelings and that is where the therapy actually starts working out for them and they feel so relieved when they are there on the ground and one one one difference is just because you have to make a difference between introvertedness and anxiety anxious people are essentially not introverted introverted people may not be anxious at all right right can i just add one more thing in from a sporting context your performance is your biggest tool whether you are an introvert or an extrovert and it will always stand out and it will be visible so if you believe in your own ability and your performance being introvert or extrovert does not matter does not matter of the day performance matters of course so after hearing all three one point is continuously coming that they say they are three piece of life to succeed that is persistence performance and perseverance so that is required i was when uh somehow mukta ma'am couldn't answer that question the way that i just i said that i had on that phone also had said that i had read that shreyas agya says that he's a lot of he owes to him and even on your website he says so what is let's assume everyone out here is a shreyas agya they have that point that how to come up better what is the mantra you would like to give to everyone on this platform how to develop that sense of confidence to do better then i will ask both of them also on this aspect yeah one of the things as you rightly said uh especially when we looked at sport the first thing that comes to our mind is confidence but i always say as sports psychologist that cell building self-confidence is not like taking a medicine pill and then your confidence grows it actually builds into your everyday training practice and that's when i would suggest everybody those who are there on this platform is concentrating and focusing on the process on the things that you're putting into your everyday practice is what is the key to building up to your self-confidence so stick to your process stick to the routines that you're doing every day and that's where it is going to take you to your ultimate potential to your building up onto your performance and that's where you know one of the tips that i've been giving even shreyas and the other elite athletes as well is your process so concentrate on the process i remember one of the books that i was reading about rafa nadal and he had mentioned in his book when he was competing at the wimbledon against federer and he had broken his his finger he had actually fractured his finger just before the finals of wimbledon and that was a great chance for him to win the wimbledon against the great legend that's federer and he was into grueling pain just before the finals but the moment the finals started he actually forgot about that pain he actually forgot about the kind of grueling pain that he was going through and for five hours the way he has fought in at that moment and that actually helped him to win the wimbledon finals against federer and that's where i call it as process which he has mentioned in the book at that moment if i would have actually focused on the pain i would have definitely lost the finals so that's where i talk about the process concentrate on the feelings concentrate on your breathing process concentrate on your basics these are certain things which will help you to remain in the present and focus on the process that's important for your game thank you ma'am point well taken i am also reminded that they said somebody asked uh sharok khan what is the key to success mantra he says focus on the aim the peripherals like car uh koti servants they are automatically which flow out of them so just focus on the main goal and then these are the peripherals which automatically flow mr nilesh what would be your uh let's assume you are in your institute uh you had an open class and you had to tell your students what is your key that the students should uh learn from on this platform i think one of the key takeaways i would like to park for everyone is every problem has a solution we just have to look at it differently we start discussing about problems more than thinking about the finding a solution i think uh one of the key thing which i always believe that we discuss a lot about the problems without really realizing that we do not focus on trying to find a solution for problem acceptance is one of the key things for you to start thinking about solving a problem lot of times we face this challenge when you're on the field now i'm in my institute lot of times impossible but why is it impossible there must be some point which can give you solution to overcome that have you thought about it have you given a different perspective because you will if there are problems created or problems existed there is always a solution around the corner we just need to have a different perspective different analogy different analysis to think about addressing that problem you will nine point nine out of ten times you will find a solution to this there's always one percent which is controlled by god but the rest of the things are controlled by humans and if you don't think in that direction you'll always be challenged yourself and that's when the negativity start that's when the challenging situation starts that's when you think that oh i'm the only one who's not getting it the rest of the gang is getting it they're benefiting it so this is where we start thinking differently and i always believe that is one key thing we should always think about try to solve a problem rather than discuss a problem yes discussing is important but approach the problem with ability to solve it which apply to sport which apply today to the life if you think about it you'll always overcome that and do not fear about failure because failure is part of your life if you think about failure and remain in failure aspects you will never think about overcoming that before we will ask dr. shetty that question with mr. nilesh had read somehow in the flow we didn't even realize that question was never answered but gujar anxiety problem is becoming a global pandemic sir i request you to please advise us on the same as to reduce it madam your advice too will be helpful sure so he wants a double mommy i think sir would be better because if he's talking about anxiety it would be uh yes better if sir answers yeah so but he says then uh double one answer first him and then he says cherry on the top of the cake you start you start book i'll i'll end it yeah basically i have when he's talking about anxiety yeah i would say it's a little uh a next step towards fear i would say a next step i mean beyond fear because of the range problem there is dr. arish you can take up then ma'am take over this so go ahead what that word yeah yeah am i the audible because i just the screen throws yeah so one of the things is identify where the anxiety is coming from and then identifying the solution for the anxiety related issues would definitely be better so i'm sure dr. shetty would be able to speak a lot better than on this i would i would like to add to that i think she's perfectly right in the brilliantly way of putting it please look at our eastern practices americans are making big money through yoga abhiyas brings down anxiety it calms down your sympathetic nervous system and brings a balance between sympathetic and parasympathetic it helps the mind to sing with the body it does not make it play a jugal bandi and the jugal bandi mind and the body gets destroyed so that is number one number two is beyond behind your anxiety is a is a is a story and behind that story there are many stories a lot of anxiety in adulthood starts from childhood it starts from childhood so there are a lot of practices by which you can bring down the anxiety please anxiety travels much faster than the influenza virus or the corona virus so if you know if you have an environment which is very anxious in the house so we need a lot of anxious sentences they might say it out of frustration once but that that sits in the head that is number two number three's anxiety is an artifact of the globalized world because they're all looking around our shoulder when you think about your journey on this earth and you want to you want to enjoy this journey well anxiety goes down when you're in your scoop when you're I still remember this I would I had a bike when I was a doctor I come from very ordinary background in English and I had to go and park this bike at the hospital go and see a patient so that watchman said I respect my vehicle because important respect whatever you have in life I have to park and I'm a doctor I have to visit this for doctors and I was not ashamed that I was on a bike and that brings down anxiety so many of friends all your viewers respect what you have around you your spouse your table your kursi your banana if you can't afford the arm perfectly all right anxiety goes but when you think to banana but you're so important to accept respect and love what Allah has given you I think that I think is the most beautiful thing for being there exactly and I completely agree with Mukta when he says that for players the course of anxiety has to be so Varsha Wasave sir I'm a student and having been and having been in the hostel since I was seven years old and the purpose of asking my question is since I belong to a tribal community people often judge me because I'm a villager and manage them to answer back but inside I feel empty so what is that thing which makes me empty though I answer them back I feel low when I'm alone well tribal communities are indigenous communities there are a lot of wealth which others don't have realize that first research your tribe research all the practices and the folk folk songs and all the other things which you have well I have I've worked with tribals at Danu for a short time I've seen the party in Maharas sir as a president of biome india we have a lot of friends in the northeast they are richer than all the other folks around you discover that first tell the world what is the most fascinating thing about your tribe across time tell them that most of the tribal kids which I have seen in Jamshedpur I've been to schools in Jamshedpur they are very calm because they are close to nature all the guys who live in concrete are not close to nature they are restless in the class they're restless in the class they make a lot of noise go to the school tribal school they are they're climbing trees the mind is fertile if they get in the posture they do much better than everybody else so discover your ancestry be proud of your ancestry share the good things about your tribe with others you'll be fascinated and you'll feel that you are one and what is also very important is your belief in your in yourself your acceptance of yourself and when you open your shoulder and look up and share the world will change around you there's no need for you to become like them remember that okay I always tell boys and girls as I meet them in the in my in my workshop you can never be Aishwarya Rai but Aishwarya Rai can never be you and that I think is extremely important for him you may have been in the college and you may get other facilities which others don't have you deserve that it's not it's not it's not a charity for you you deserve that for being in that state and it's just a mechanism of bringing the society on the same ground so that they can compete equally so be proud of your tribe and learn more about your tribe when you learn English don't don't don't forget your tribe and share those insights to everybody around you are an indigenous community which is very rare across the world in America they destroy the indigenous community in Australia they've already been destroyed Indians they are still India they are still still so that that I think is very important I will take a question from the Facebook Viva Shukla what what to do when most of the time a person becomes a culprit of every worse situation that occurs is it possible that only a person is at fault every time or is it because the person straightforward said the actually things without being sugar coated grantees what to do to modify the behavior or handle these situations in a peaceful manner hello but a better question and you you tell me Mr. Mr. Kulkarni will answer Mr. Kulkarni can handle because the players are always ready to gear up at a speed ball coming at a speed of 150 kilometers also so their time reactions will always be faster no you are the best part about sports people is you are preparing for unknown and in a sporting environment if you are preparing your planning is in for unknown you are better equipped to handle multiple situations I think the simplest thing is to do simple thing right and a lot of time we make a mistake of doing simple thing right we do not we start thinking about the big goals and the big achievements but doing the simple thing and in in sport I always say and we always follow that you know put in that one percent extra that one percenter makes the huge makes a huge difference are you good in putting that extra effort is up is in your hand it's up to you if you believe in that you will definitely get the results in your mind absolutely absolutely so the session at least I am finding it very interesting as Mr. Mr. Shetty was saying that he was trying to press we can continue with the session because I just would like to add one thing ma'am you can close the video otherwise probably there's a difference of the bandwidth yes yes it's on from my side mukta close your video so your audio will be better output yes yes you can see me suggesting close your video because of the internet challenge and you have a I just wanted to add one thing what Nilesha said that usually we we uh hello yes ma'am it's audible it's audible yeah yeah can you hear me yes ma'am yes hello yeah yeah I've closed I've closed the video what yeah I've closed the video yeah ma'am it's audible we are we are able to hear you yeah you can hear me yes ma'am yeah yeah yeah no I just wanted to I think you just she's finding it difficult on the net connection it's raining it's pouring yeah it's pouring down it's pouring down so I think this time it is more because of happiness that people are actually getting the issues settled down the rain is trying to settle down the dust which is actually in the minds because of the inputs from all three of you the insights as they say impossible it's a common word they say impossible would mean I am possible and then they say improve what means I have to prove and the proof that Mr. Kulkarni said that the proof has to be by performance only uh so we uh one question is from Farhan asked I faced a lot of suppressions and subjugations kind of very tortured childhood because of which I still remain underconfident and nervous can I ever overcome this past that haunts me even today facing anxiety what is the way forward audit your life with the help of a counselor meet a mirror who will help you to reflect and repair life is full of stories problems are stories going wrong counseling is repair of the story sir Nileji what is your call then what take value give to the society as we initially started off meanwhile I will try to connect with Mukda ma'am what is sorry sorry sorry I just lost your question sir I said that it's again as we said in time and again that in cricket also as you said it's sometimes hello is it audible Nileji is it audible sir large number of though we have we have been a cricket buff you had been on the other side that you have been always playing cricket and then putting the things forward sometimes normally in at least in cricket as you rightly said that around 11 lakhs people trying to perform for a cricket and 11 make it but sometimes that mr shethi said Rajesh Patel was performing in domestic large number of players Raman Lamba was one of the players who have actually performed you could only feel that they could only perform they could never perish but as life has its own vagaries and life has its own challenges what do you believe that once an opportunity given just you have followed more marwan at about you just give that illustration that we were discussing in the morning that he he makes it after five years two ducks then duck and zero you remember that of marwan at but two of Sri lankan captain marwan is a very good yeah so if you remember him that once he came for the first time he makes two double ducks then he's dropped for good 21 months he comes back makes zero and one then again dropped comes after 17 months again double duck then he comes after three years then he performed century then in 5000 runs 16 centuries and six double centuries one way i was reading that article it said one way for atapa to was to drop that six years is a very task but he continued to persist with that and ultimately so yes sir so it is only we are learning the answers from you and i will say learning will also not be there i would like that you to put across and since you are a psychiatrist also how to overcome all this and to make big in the real perspective not to be getting done i think you try and compete with yourself all the time audit your life all the time that is the memorable ticket for for millish he will never forget it it is like he'll share it with his family his family will share it with their children so so indians as they were they should also learn to appreciate themselves because indians do not appreciate each other so easily i i think i think let millish only answer that because he has seen marwin is his best friend and the good part is what marwin did that he never stopped believing in himself that he belonged there and when every time i i had a conversation with him and you know a lot of people again put him down but he believed that he had in him to belong at international level and he can be successful at that level a lot of times you will get success immediately there are times you will get success little late but eventually if you have like dr shetty mentioned perseverance and a patience and the ability and the belief you have for yourself the moment you believe in your ability and what you can do you will definitely succeed in life it may take some time it may take immediately it may take slightly longer time in marwin's case it took him longer time to deliver what was expected within himself in front of the stage because you know he always believed that he could get 100 playing against australia playing against india he believed that he could do that it took him longer time to deliver that which is part of your journey you and me don't control the journey we control the process we control the entire thing what we can control i think that's the beauty of what we start believing in he never stopped believing in and a lot of questions are coming in that direction i would like to tell them that you know the moment you start doubting yourself you start have a question whether i'm good at it that means your downfall you're starting thinking differently if you believe that you can win against if i can uh if i can compete against the top lawyer in the world i i don't fear i don't worry about it but preparation and process should never deviate that's the most important part during the journey i think i think that sentence is is a billion dollar sentence the journey is not in our hands the process is in our hands so that's a fantastic way and the fact mukta ma'am is also trying to log in and log out probably she has just logged in and she has written that she's not been able to hear i will ask her uh we are trying to unmute her uh ma'am probably you're logged twice because two names uh you are being reflected twice in the street but you can try to unmute yourself we are unmuting you yeah can you hear me yeah yes yes it's an uh we can say it's an inspirational story ma'am is actually liking the show she goes out comes back but with more vigor the participants are more keen to hear her also yes ma'am yeah i think i've lost the initial conversation so just just i think uh try to help me out where we were uh that dr harish chet he's a connecting point because i've lost a yeah i think uh we were he was just asking about marvin a tapper to continuously for for many years then he then he shined and uh and what uh what mr kulkarny said is that he never his belief never wavered and he continued believing in yourself along with that he worked hard if you can add add something there yeah yeah so that's i think one of the major characteristics when we talk about mental toughness in sports uh so there are two three things that i would really like to say quickly is obviously yourself confidence or yourself believe your positivity and accepting the situation the way it is and concentrating on the things which are under your control i think these are the four things which not only sports people but even otherwise outside as outside the sporting background also if you really implement and look at these four things i think that's that's going to be uh the best thing which can help us in our usual life as well whether it is your workplace professional life personal life so these are the four things i think i always say these are four mantras for your life to be uh to be not really not stress-free stress-free life we can uh since we are touching sex we have i'll just small story i'll just add one small story yes sir nilesh type dada bola bola bola i'll just add one beautiful story which i read in england early 90s where pete sampras narrated this story pete sampras legendary uh tennis player he wanted to turn major from a junior tennis player so he requested evan lendel the number one player that time that uh can i train with you to be competent enough at the highest level so evan lendel after a lot of perseverance agreed and he said that let's start the training but no questions asked so the first day of the training was given to him that you decide what you want and very voluntarily because he was young 17 year old he said let's do endurance training so evan lendel's girlfriend was sitting in a car and he said pete you have me when you feel tired and it's about physical as well as mental so they ran for good kilometers kilometers and at a point where pete sampras felt tired and he said evan i think that's it i'm tired in his mind he was thinking that he can drive back to the starting point but evan lendel said no we have to finish at a starting point so the tiredness in the mind and the physical part that took overcome with the mind sharpness so he made sure that he allowed him to reach to a point where his body felt tired in the endurance and he wanted him to finish at a start point and that was the beautiful story which i read which actually helps you understand how you can train yourself Dr. Harish your inputs the way the session is going i will all request you that we can have another session on a different perspective today we had only on the mind and personality building as we come to the close i completely i've learned a lot from both mukda and and nilesh and what is very important for us to understand that india is at crossroads and it's on the threshold of a great tomorrow our children are very aspiring very aspiring and between aspirations and and and victories we need to build the process which i think i think nilesh that is beautifully we had no no facilities for sports during our time a hockey time a big ball the football time ground now i i think indians indians build too well they're aspiring and the most important thing is the yoke of being ruled has gone now the sehwag and Dhoni they say who the hell cares sehwag 300 and i think it's a great tomorrow i'm sure that these young boys and girls will give us a great tomorrow we will leap much faster than what we actually believe india is on the threshold of a great tomorrow let's also build the the mental software with eastern philosophy and western science and that i think is the bottom line closing remarks by nilesh and then mukta ma'am but before that i will just tell that those who have participated have got enraged with the today's session we are having dr harish shetty again on 20th but the topic will be entirely different so it shows his inputs on a different issues on a different perspective today it's on mind and personality development then that day we are having gender violence and workplace harassment so it shows the spectrum of knowledge the insights the way he can do and then on 21st we are having having on mental health law and disability law and that day we have convinced mukta ma'am to give her insights along with dr shetty so the way mr nilesh has the vast knowledge after the session i will request him to join on any of those two sessions because he has also had workplace as well as the disability disability to uh thought to law accept other issues also so two inputs from nilesh and then mukta then we will wind up the session for today and we will catch up i don't think you are interested to close the session at all that's what i'm saying so we are winding up i'm through i'm over yeah just just one quick thing i would like to say to everyone including sports people is uh we generally tend to really uh keep on holding on to whatever has happened in the past we keep saying that you know this shouldn't have happened that shouldn't have happened so my only say as a sports psychologist generally i say is uh have great learnings from what you've experienced in the past take the takeaways from the past and past is something which you cannot really change but what you can change is is your future so take the takeaways work on those and try to change your future because that is something in your hands rather than feeling sad and getting depressed about what you couldn't change in the past so that's just one maybe takeaway for all of you which i can give yeah nilesh on to you so i think the best part is uh never say never again you know it's always that you know in sports you always believe that there's always an opportunity around the corner and remember one thing you know those who think that you know we can start pointing fingers there are three fingers pointing back at you if you start taking that as a responsibility you will stop pointing fingers at somebody else because start taking the responsibility of the rights and the wrongs what you have experienced for your own improvement for your own betterment and the moment we realize that you will start becoming a different person for your own improvement and this is what sport taught me this is what sport has given me and i always looked at failure as an opportunity to learn and improve upon which has helped survive sustain even during this pandemic because if a lot of people get negative thoughts but it's sport which has given me remembering those good moments and making sure that i want to repeat those good moments the moment we resume and that's for me is an opportunity for all of you to start thinking positively rather than thinking about the negative aspects thank you everyone as Dr. Shetty said that Dr. Shetty is clapping probably i don't know for the fact that i'm closing it that he's feeling so excited that we are closing it at last or whether he enjoyed the session but as mr. Nilesh and after the session i felt one thing that you have to look the positive so i think that he has enjoyed it i will not ask him to say that probably he's saying clapping thank god it's closed so tomorrow we are having a session back to law as we say that invariably we take one session in the in our sessions which is beyond law that is why we have kept the topic of beyond law tomorrow we are having honorable mr. justice prathipa m singh on intellectual properties rights and its relevance during a pandemic everybody knows on intellectual properties right as a lawyer she was a par excellent lawyer everybody used to try to engage her and now having insights from her would be a different this thing in 2021 as we said we will be having Dr. Harish and Mukda and i'm quite convinced mr. Kulkarni has said never think of no no means next opportunity we will take him on the board on 2021 thank you everyone and i will say Dr. Shetty to give a vote of thanks from us because i feel that he's a part of us thank you i think that getting diverse people across the country to debate on one issue makes the topics very rich and as my teacher said once that for mental health that mental health is too important to be left to mental health professionals alone we need the we need the entire country to join hands and share insights and that i think what you have done beautifully and i'm really grateful to you for inviting me i'm so happy to hear from from Nilesh and Mukda Mukda with me very often in Bombay but i think i think i've been i've become richer with all this insight i i bless your your effort and i feel that more diverse people from diverse the backgrounds should be invited so that the the the learning becomes a very very broad and very insightful thank you so thank you