ॐूूृूूूू Practical Round of welcome ूूूूृॉ ूूूूूूॄ ूूूूू। ैुूूूू ूूूूूूूुूू organisations and who look forward to receiving this report and use the pointers provided in this report to plan their own media approach in the financial year to follow. Now, some of you have told us that, why do you wait till February to bring out this report?  अपसलुत ताम्स ad-ex has grown from 74,000 crores to 89,800 crores a gain of a significant 15,000 crores. अपसलुत ताम्स the second highest gain in the last two decades. अपसलुत ताम्स the second consecutive year that Indian ad-ex registered more than a 20% growth after a dismal year 20 when the pandemic hit us and knocked virtually three years out of ad-ex's life. अपसलुत ताम्स it is significant of course to know and many of us know this very well that as much as 58% of total ad-ex growth has been contributed by digital which has grown by as much as 35%. बात traditional media's role and performance in India unlike in other parts of the world is no less noteworthy it continues to grow year on year and has grown by 14% last year which is the second highest growth rate in the last seven years. आपसलुत ताम्स the second highest gain in the last seven years. आपसलुत ताम्स the third highest gain in the last seven years so in spite of two coven years and the Russia Ukraine war last year Indian ad-ex has grown by 33% over these last three years. अपसलुत ताम्स the third highest gain in the last seven years. च्हुड क्रटी अद्ँग leave ask company रिवे श्कद बक迎rians saw उस्ड groom से milyा combinations कह pouquinho से थुलuu तक ढउआanse अस softly Mm सत्raits से मा ऱौतате। जिः। कह enjoyable perpetual तो। earrings ठे घफॐक ही मोज़ दिंके। दिर न शुस समघनाय बग़ी भी नहीं होंगना बारना आप तो perfectly मुरٹर 4  tightening lower than quarter 4 of 21. से खेरास्तमेद , if not for the slowedown in quarter one . मनक्ста मैंनिती थे कवेद , adex in 22 would have registered सबinct Today of a phenomenal 29 percent Michael ute of twenty-four percent. From a historical perspective last year witnesses the second highest growth in the last one decade as this seven year review shows you. Now compared to Indian ADEX's growth of 21 percent, global ADEX, थो तुमक्ह फृएक भी यही भी क्ताईगी मरेए्टाउगी च्छीवाचा थी हुएक से च्छीवाचदा में जर आगा अख्चीवाचा थाईगी वे बच्छीवाचा आप वर्दاط तो समथ पूश़्टिवी ठी करदा कि सच्छीवाचा जो दरहे शिंच्छीवी ऻगी औ� ुरले साऔ कर सब कінभर तर्वीज श्लब अग़ुफुवुउथुग न deciding make scraping contributing 33% to global adx vors च 중요, और और खोँवी तर्वीझ, comentarios 14%. यहता happening, यहकर गर ज़चरी, Url agites आं और खरउझं बना यूँववाद कर को trolls at global adx stage वात देा साईज котा सर अधीथ वो टोन from the 13 aktivism markets more doubt the strengthening of the US dollar has played a role in subduing our share. A medium-wise comparison of shares across global ad-ex and Indian ad-ex shows up very substantial variations. एक ज refuses Rielbras is at 38%. अगड़ार उरी न अदा़ग के चिनमा फ़ल है एक बार रेए और होँ कर बजानिंग. अगड़िजो है को द मुआब आप उपी एक। और ग़ार के देखे आप चिक्डी कि किने थाउगड के आगड़्ार ख़गे के शूमबाद. जब कच्रक्क of work of work of work. यह द़ाय्ताताब उन्लग गईईईईईईईई और है जो गर वाग। the other hand is where there is a sharp difference. टिंगन यहि नदिया बऔट़ वो़्स of a 21% share, whereas in the globe it's just 4%. illon ी। नुँ। नॉ च्रुज़। नॉ. च्रूज़। नॉ। नु। दूच। च्रुज़्। तूँ। दृँ। थूँ। दूछ। ळिसु । । । नॉ। । आज। । दृट। दूछ। दूत। तुि Secrets Is. जिज़ मनीडिया में आनट़या कहनागा। तो फरु ता Of course पूच दोगनी नाँद़ी और सीस तुओष अच करोज तो धुवाई करोज तुढ़ तो जोचकी मजने तुछ के ख़ोमोग की था. लगँँँँँँउइँँँँँँँँँँ lost between the 12-21 Sat.।। । । । । । । सिनमा on a very small base and after two years of dismay grew more than 300% but by a mere 400 odd crores registering a share of only 0.6% TV the largest medium till 21 dropped 4% points last year unfortunately post COVID print also is losing its share year on year and now contributes 21% of overall addicts interesting print share till 2019 has always been more than 30% the combined share of minor media like cinema, radio and OH has gone up from 5% to 7% last year driven mainly by outdoor योगथा लग यूँट शीड़ा मेंगा देटा के से थ्वी अणद़ा विज़ान। योगथा बारी लिए आदा का, आदिच अदिश्नी को princinal media and that too excluding OH and Cinema ॐ। यी मग avaient मित कमटािनस् के �杯 दोंडमन। उनकादिक्य हूएत ब्वाया मु�orar मुद्ट मुऋनमानों चीऍत ह brain केक र Ой काईगे काह्रीम के ररव वाँ � applied के कोस्lar analog की कशक करनाअ रivamente करनाण सरियठर हूएत उससे सर्फेश् काते लगाक vegetables comes in ad. ex is reducing the top 50 now accountlen for 38% of adx in 21 compared 40% now quite a dramatic drop 8% bunch points Indian msm ease of first waking up तो तो आप प्रफ्वित प्रफ्विल्टी अब ब्रन्दीं और अद्ब्टाइशिंग रोल इन ख्रेटीं अब ब्रन्द अस्ट्र्मिच रवील तो आप तो तोड़ेज आदेख्स इस कोंट्रिबुटेद बाई सच्छ मेश्मेश आद दे आगेरें आप फो मों वी सी इनव बाई से घ्राएड़ा बADA रवीलगाम साभ म� husbands fraats.. अदिया। अदिया लिए at tenth the contribution of top-ten purple add-ex जम्मक जरने के ज़ठिचके düşृ। तो भक्ड biết छ़दौँ friends ख़ित आजिक घट शहको तो money दो on trackingलि � �ist और�서ं थी। मैं सेथ रआऐ प Dell थि तोぶ cam पा म। में दें दिया पको तो भी थ्बाश्याग रहादवाट्तुचा notes are the top advertisers who are counting for 87% of their total expense. नेक्स नेण संकि मेंन्साद्टट्चा थे अशीमादारं aton the next five brands in our elite list are Amazon, PNG, मारुती सूजूकी भी जुएकी और आप पासपार्डूएका। Payaju still, Mahruti Suzuki and Google. वीनी मी शो प्लिपकाथ टातदिज � Dell Vanzo games ु on Titan are some of the new names that make it to our list इसे आटानी इसके अदी, overlook tenur est met asmeni as sixeteen iz animation और तब room. टब धो कप. तब थब आटानytic un बहाुख North याटी आटी लिई बहान tener ni to try the  माय और ाटी साँघ ऒादí को ौख ॑टा Audio ॑च क mere ,spain सामसतर disregard लग्गनाए आदठल आदटक लीखदिया रहे।नासक अदट्रेखश मैं, आदट्यखश अद्टमत को देखाए की विगछे आगा आप से, दिखए यह औगा औगा आदिक साधष्र ख़रींगो चानछ़तकोंगाए, और थो आदटिक हूँ अदटीक से, एक आडवात्ताःज़, और प्योग कि देखात सर्फात, और कि आप मनखुं्ये ठीवे देखान। प्योग आप स्विर्ख्प्योग डरतीच। तुछ तोछ दर धाशाग़। से जवाँ एक आद आड़्ी कास दिस करना मजानें और छिगोंने ज हात आदा तें आदें भगत की लिए खु़बँा, यह अद यह दिज्टल आदेक्स दोगाल में अद आद्च दिज्टल शेर में यह दिटल आदेकस यह और आदेक्स गूँ,wehrados, छन्स दिजटोलच पर्यजना हो गढे के आद� station उटुर्श्टी शर्च़ू कूर ेट अटूएऔदूर ख़ूएड from last year's press conference was 29% compared to earlier years when it was 37% and 39% telling us, that digital ad-x after all is also not immune to an economic slow down. ..video, social, display, e-commerce and search drive digital ad-x. इसके अदोटर दीः़ा अस्चनousebut GitHub does not use the answer of the route. अदर थी ब्येश्सिए Storieswad University इसकता हः से प्योग़टिक है?, दिजछाते दीएक से वॉगरे है?, दिछछी क्लो आव Commun IMMEACLESS 45.6% of our nearly 90,000 crore ad-ex is spent by advertisers on the audio-visual medium. Social, the second largest contributor grew the most at 45% and increased share from 20 to 22%. Display has grown more modestly at 19% and has therefore lost 3% share points from 19 to 16. When Google started, it was all about search, but search today is 16% of the market. Coming to television, as I told you, TV has now moved to the number of two position in Indian ad-ex sweepstakes. TV grew by just 9% substantially lower than our forecast of 14%. In 22%, for the first time, we see a little stress in linear TV and its share has come down from 42% in 2020 to 38% in 2021 and 34% now. Now, possibly in 2022, TV also unfortunately witnessed some of the biggest new age clients beginning to pull back on sponsorship of big ticket shows because of fear of running out of money and on the back of raw material shortages and steep ride in raw material costs, which led many advertisers to spend advertising money with caution. The festival dominated quarter four, which usually sees a big spike was missing in 2022. For television, again quarter one was sluggish, quarter two showed promise on account of the full season of IPL, quarter three seemed buoyant and quarter four again didn't see any resurgence. FMCG, of course, continues to dominate TV ad-ex in a big way. Compared to the around 30% in total ad-ex, its dominance in TV is about 45%. But here again, it has come down from 52% in 2015 to 45 today. Also FMCG during the year increased their spend by just 7% lower than overall TV ad-ex growth of 9% and an all media growth of 21%. E-commerce, which only had a 5% share of TV ad-ex, today has a 20% share. Paradoxically, growth of e-commerce has helped a traditional medium. Education, including ed tech, dramatically reduced its TV spends by 24%. Ed tech accounts for most of this decrease and because of this education is now relegated to the fourth position with just a 4% share. Auto has taken over education as the third most important category. In terms of genre, Hindi GEC continues to lead the pack in terms of TV ad-ex. But significantly last year, more and more advertisers use more of second line GEC indicating that efficiency and not impact as we generally call it is top of their mind. Sports clearly is now getting the attention of more and more advertisers and despite very high CPRPs is finding favor with many advertisers. The number of advertisers on spot increased from 372 in 21 to 473 in 2022. My mind goes back to the 90s when I believe on cricket there used to be not more than 25 advertisers. Among the regional satellite channels, Tamil continues to rule the roost followed by Telugu, Marathi, Bengali, Kannada and Malayalam in that order. Hindi movies also continue to find favor amongst large advertisers to drive cost efficiency in their plans. But English movies, niche channels, infotainment and kids genre seem to be losing their relevance. Taking a deeper look at print, print ad-ex grew last year as I told you by 11% to reach a value of about 18,470 crores and is now at 92% of pre-COVID levels. The newspaper industry saw an increase of 11% but I must confess our estimate last year at this time was 13%. What strikes me is that although the recently released ABC circulation numbers show that for most publications circulation has not reached pre-pandemic levels, this fact does not seem to have daunted advertisers to use print any less since both volume and value have gone up by 15% and 11% respectively. Print in India continues to surprise if not shock global print barons and defy global ad-ex trends because as I mentioned globally Vox estimate of print is 4% whereas in India it has a 21% share. Significantly in China print is virtually zero. In terms of absolute ad revenue to print followed other media and it had more than 5,000 crores in each of the two quarters of H2. H2 was good for print H2 contributing 58% of total revenue. In terms of categories though education de-grew marginally it emerged as the largest category in print. So it seems to have been preferred by education over television and has overtaken FMCG with de-grew by 8%. Two other large categories clothing fashion and jewelry and household durable also grew substantially by over 15%. In terms of languages English publications gained the most in terms of ad volumes and grew by as much as 19%. Hindi publications of course continue to dominate but English and Marathi are the next two on the list. English publications have almost reached the 2019 levels of volume using price in our view as a mechanism to attract more advertising. For one reason or another Oriya Bengali, Punjabi, Assamese and Urdu publications continue to get very poor advertising support. Now let's look at OH. OH in 22 became a 3600 crore medium and grew at 68% registering a 4% share. The Indian OH market with a growth rate of 68% and share of 4% has made one of the strongest rebounds and is only the second traditional medium after TV to surpass its pre-COVID level. Again looking at it quarter wise 800 to 900 crores came in each of the first three quarters. Quarter 4 surprisingly was a bumper quarter unlike the way it was for other mediums and revenue crossed 1000 crore milestone for the first time. Top 5 categories contribute 64% of total OH, 56% with real estate contributing 19% followed by retail FMCG and consumer services. Almost every category registered substantial growth except lubricants and energy. Radio also grew noteworthy by 17% as against our 10% projection and managed to cross the 2000 crore mark and achieve 90% of its pre-COVID level like print. Add volumes in radio again increased by a good 38% but ADEX increased only by 17% indicating that radio stations were not able to command the earlier established unit rates. Looking at it quarter wise surprisingly quarter 4 was the best quarter for radio. So real estate has emerged as the largest category in radio pipping FMCG followed by e-commerce and BFSI. Lastly coming to cinema after two years of degrowth due to COVID-19 cinema did not quite recover whilst it grew by 317% the actual increase because of its low base was only about 400 crores. Unfortunately cinema reached only its half way mark with the ADEX number at 568 crores compared to over 1000 crores that it did in 2019. This is possibly due to the lackluster performance of many new Hindi movie launches. Now it's time for me to share with you a growth forecast for 23. As the new year sets in we are reminded of an old Godrej shaving cream ad of the late 80s which ended with the one bright spot in a man's morning. India is certainly the bright spot in a gloomy, uncertain world. So says not the Indian government, not a patriotic ever optimistic Indian but the global CEOs of almost all reputed consultancies around the world. Having said that in today's world every country is interconnected with all other countries because of trade and commerce and therefore India is bound to get affected by the global gloom. Because of that our estimates for growth in 23 is a bit subdued at 16% compared to the 21% growth achieved in 22. For perspective walks forecast for global ADEX in 2023 is a growth of only 3%. With a 16% growth rate Indian ADEX will cross the landmark one lakh crore number and settle at one lakh four thousand two thirty. We expect traditional ADEX also to grow at a good rate of 10% in 23. With this growth of course share of digital ADEX will continue to lead and now be almost 10% share points higher than TV with digital at 41% and TV at 32%. Digital will continue to be driven mainly by the very large number of SMBs that use digital to drive their sales. On the other hand the number of advertisers on TV have not been growing and are only at around 10 to 11,000. In fact the number of advertisers on TV degroup marginally from 11,000 to 10,500. So why do we say 16 factors? Some of the key factors that will contribute to our growth are the upcoming major cricketing tournaments such as the new WIPL and the old IPL Asia Cup and ICC Cricket World Cup. New categories and new advertisers that are constantly emerging in India. Organic growth coming from the largest contributor to ADEX FMCG. Now that inflation has abated e-commerce marketing continuing its push. Many new launches planned in the automobile sector and recovery in print, radio and cinema. On the other hand we recognize that we will have tailwinds coming from... In fact we recognize that we will have tailwinds coming from growing consumer confidence, moderating inflation, rapidly rising SMB businesses who are getting more and more ambitious by the day and complete recovery from COVID. But we will get pulled down by headwinds from a global slowdown and low capital inflow to startups. ADEX should add over 14,000 crores in 2023. We expect in India no medium to de-grow unlike in global ADEX where TV, print and radio are expected to further de-grow in absolute terms. But we do expect that 60% of this growth of 14,000 crores will go to digital, 20% to TV and 12% to print. We do expect digital growth rate to now slow down to 25% mainly because of its high base and print and TV both to grow at 9% each but outdoor at 12% on a much larger base. With this growth all mediums will cross their pre-COVID levels except cinema. With these expected changes digital will further increase its share from 38% to 41% and TV and print will lose 2 percentage points each to settle at 32% and 19% OH radio and cinema share will remain more or less unchanged. Finally as usual we would like to end this report with some advice for my advertiser friends. First I would like to remind them to please use advertising budgets to build brands not by sales in the short term. Building brands we feel is the only way you can build a sustainable profitable company in the consumer business and remember investors are now sharply focused on companies future monetization ability. Also remember that mass media is the most cost efficient way of building brands in the medium to long term. A second piece of advice is to use digital to augment GRPs reach and frequency or whatever other parameters you use to light TV viewers to ensure you don't underservice them. Whilst advertisers seem to be agreed that TV continues to offer the best brand building capabilities because of a combination of creative and media factors. Light TV users are underserved and heavy TV viewers are overserved in a typical TV plan and this needs to be corrected or balanced. Our third piece of advice is to be constantly on the lookout for opportunities that mediums like outdoor radio and cinema constantly keep coming up with because these provide a good opportunity to offer to launch new brands, variants and test market them in limited geographies specially for brands with limited budgets. These mediums can offer you high impact and reasonable efficiency at low outlets and our final piece of advice there is no alternative to getting your creative strategy right and arrive at a creative strategy that is sustainable. We noticed that a lot of newer businesses focus only on a witty and wacky creative idea that at best can last a few weeks. So thank you very much ladies and gentlemen for listening to me.


Smoked a baby. Oh, really? It's possible. Welcome to episode number 33 of the Mighty Mokka Fully Actual podcast. Um, and here we are, our last turn of, uh, work for the year. And, um, it's a bit of a rough start. You'll probably hear some commotion in the background. Um, at the moment we've got the cracker milk boys here with a huge production crew, they're filming their pilot. And, uh, James, believe it or not, he's not, he's not, he's not trying to be funny dressed up right now. That's just what he's, we're all in it. You see, he's actually Jack Friller. I'm being acted tonight. Like, like I'm pretty, I'm a pretty big deal. I think, yeah. No, you are. Yeah, you're credited. I know I am DB. Hopefully it'll be on.  DB knows this could go massive. It could be bigger than rackers. Shit. Oh, imagine that. If Joe Rogan posts. Oh, that was cool.  Yeah, it'll be crazy. There's a chance. So, um, you know, we got our full days of work and then the cracker milk boys arrive at like, you know, five, six p.m. And then they need us here to like midnight, sometimes one, two a.m. So it's kind of like we're working two full-time jobs this week. And, um, it's our first week back and man, it's been fucking. It's been a last week we had a week off, which was nice. You guys saw us pretty low though last week. Yeah, we're sorry about that last week. But we thought like, you know, better to get an episode out, keep you guys in the loop rather than just go, sorry, no, podcast this week. So I don't know. Did Conor tell you, did Michael tell you what Conor said? What that we came up to a school and he was like, I think you guys should consider not posting that podcast.  Oh, maybe with, maybe we cut the second half and just have the Bosley explanation because we don't like if we have cut the second half, we are just downers. We are very, very sad. And that carried on to like, it's yeah, we'll just need to check it and review it. Yeah, maybe we should just put a moment of video at the front to explain. I'm sure it's explained. It's a legend. Yeah, our thinking was we'd prefer to just, you know, update you guys rather than just miss another week because we've missed a couple of weeks this season already.  Let's just, we just won't try and be funny. We'll just do what we're doing and then bang. A few fans are already on to it. They know next week's the Bosley. They've already sent me things. Yeah, yeah. So yeah, sorry about that. But this week we'll try to be funny again. But yeah, it's been, it's been rough.   But I've, I'm publicly announcing it. I am going sober now and only two occasions that I will not be sober is one is the podcast finale, which, which there are still tickets available to. Actually, I don't know right now because we've probably done the main feed post there is there's not many. So get on to it. So have a look because I have a look in that. No, have a look in the description. If the link is there, that means there are still some tickets. If not, then I'm sorry, we're all sold out. And the other event is obviously Michael's wedding.  I whenever I'd go away or even your box was like a distraction. But then it's like, come home again. And then it's just like worse. Yeah, it's like, it's like you got to keep reminding myself about it, otherwise it just gets worse and worse and worse.   Yeah, because just being at home just reminds me so much of of Bozzie.   But exercise time, we've got to get good at boxing. Yeah, this is day two.  It's not easy being sober and off everything. So let's smoke some weed. Yeah, well, I did get high. And I must say it's making me very cheery. But I haven't got high for like two weeks. Michael's been throwing mandarins at Crackamelt's crew as they walk into the house. Just pitch this. Sorry, Connor, by the way. You'll be cutting very good, though. But Connor's group of friends that film his videos. They were just coming over one by one from the cars. I go from the other side of the balcony, throw a mandarin and I got within meters of them. Like there was one. Yeah, it's so rude. The guy plays dad. It was so unwelcome. So unwelcome even girl. He stopped in his spot. I actually like made girls turn like the only used like the pieces, one piece of a man. No, not like a whole man. It's OK for girls to just do that. So but yeah, I made them turn and they were like sort of questioning what happened. And then I almost hit the father that plays the dad. So and it made him turn his back at land a meter behind him. One of them is pregnant. Michael threw an Amanda and at a pregnant woman. Michael. Yeah. Which that's the name of this podcast. Michael threw a man in a pregnant woman. It was just a piece. So it's OK.  And like it made Connor and Ryan laugh. No, Cooper and Ryan. That's always your your way of justifying your action. No, it is. Let's try to get it. It's like, you know, someone has to suffer in order to make others literally like our lives. We suffer to the greater good to bring happiness to others. But you made me suffer today for a bit of a laugh. Hey, yeah, I came home and he had just drowned my room in water all so he could have a drink. Oh, I thought you meant to take in the pouring. I got lazy with the pouring. So like I saw it was dripping on the carpet.  And half is going in the cup, half is going in the carpet. It's just dumb. I did notice some wet patches. Yeah, it's all just ripping apart the water. Yeah. So now Andy threw a vortex at your car upon arrival. I forgot about that. So it's been double bullying. But that's good. I feel like that. And you pretended that you ran into his car on Monday. Got the best prank in a while. Do we film that? That was very good. We did. Cooper did. Oh, really? I told him, I was like, film this, film this, film this. I think I took it pretty well, though. Yeah, you did. Michael got us all. I was like, giving him out of pep talk. I was like, don't worry. You got insurance. Yeah, well, yeah. James was like, it'll just be annoying. What I realized is he parked, he'd done, he'd washed his like bonnet out and he'd parked or his tray and he parked just behind my car. And I was like, he's going to think that it's real. If I hit him because it's like he's moved his car in purpose. How'd you get into the driver's seat so fast? Because you smashed the side of your car, right? What I did out the window. I turned the car on, backed out a bit, put my window down, smashed my door, stopped. It was loud. And then like, got out of the car and came and did the whole scenario. I was fully convinced.  I can help you. So there's a prank you can do on your friends. Just when you're backing out, when you've had heaps of drinks at like a party, just say, I'll be fine. And then get out, hit their car and they'll believe it. Yeah, and he's got to bang the car. And peg mandarins at them when they ride. Pregnant girls. And Ryan, Ryan, Michael threw one at your new favorite toy. So. But it's not going to damage the car. Yeah, I know, but that means the world to him. Sorry, Ryan. I apologize that you. But I did try and make you laugh by throwing that mandarin at the pregnant girl. And Cooper, he threw one at yours too. Yeah, yeah, true. But Cooper, your car's not as cool. So true. Sorry, Cooper. Well, Ryan's got a cooler car than all of us. Yeah, Ryan likes cars. Does he? Yeah, he does. Oh, yeah, he loves cars. I didn't know. But it's still, it's a mandarin. So he would have understood. I reckon in the end, if it did hit him. No, that's his free time sometimes. He'll just work on a car. Man, imagine having that skills.  Yeah, neither will I. I was like, pop the bonnet, have a look, and be like, oh, close it. I might be able to watch it a bit. It's so confusing. Yeah, I saw you hosing your tray.  I'd rather worms. Yeah. But yeah, so that's our life at the moment, guys. Fucking, what was I going to say? Is that everything? Oh, yeah. So did you guys tell buck stories last week? Yeah, I don't know. Because that's what I was going to say. I wish you'd hang the tales of Bethlehem. Oh, man, it was a dark, dark week. But yeah, I think what did happen? You've got a fresher memory. So you can tell. Oh, yeah, I've got some good memories. Oh, yeah, yeah. Because I don't think we spoke about it much. It's all a blur. I can't remember the Bosley podcast. Well, I remember one, like, it wasn't massively funny for me. But I slept in this room down this way. And my parents were away, so I had Jet here, which is that little dog that Michael really does. No, I got conned to cut that. No, I did, yeah. You shouldn't have. Because I was like upset that Bosley died, so I sort of just abused. Yeah, he took it out on Jet. And Jet's that cute little cattle dog. Anyway, so Jet was like sleeping in the room until, like, sort of 9 AM. And I could hear voices still. So I just, like, opened the door, just woke up because I was pretty fried as well. And I woke up, let him out of the, let him out of the room to go and have a wee and stuff. He comes back, like, a minute or two later and, like, sort of crawls up next to me in bed because I was just sleeping on the ground in mattress.  Is that, like, driplets all over him? And so, like, so I didn't think much of it. You didn't. I got up, I got up and went out, went out and sort of was, like, just standing there. Michael couldn't see me, and he was talking to Michael Angus who just got up, and Michael was, like, Michael, Michael, it's a secret, but I just pissed on Jet. Oh! And I heard, and I just went, good morning, Michael! I got a teacher finding out, like, you just, like, got in trouble, it was so terrifying. But the reason why I did it is Jet always, he's pissed on me and...  When I'm pissing out on the front of the walkway so I'm gonna walk in, so they always walk through my piss. You don't know this, but... Yeah, I see your piss, it doesn't bother me. Anyway, Jet pisses on me all my piss when it's happening and it's gone on me, so he's pissed on me, so therefore I knew he would be cool with me pissing on him. Yeah, it's like a respecting, I suppose. And we've got a bond. Like, he's cool with it. And, like, yeah, I do have a memory of Jaden and Austin just on, I've never seen Austin laugh hard. They pissed themselves. He was fine. Just as he was telling the secret, as soon as I said good morning, they both just lost their minds. I think they've all been up all night. Again, it comes down to worth it for the reward. You justify, someone has to be sacrificed for the greater good. And what else happened?  Yeah, day one was such a long day. Golf. Golf was pretty funny, watching the Henry and... Ryan. Ryan reversed that. Did you see that? You didn't see it. Yeah, I was on that team. So Greg's a member. Very nice golf club. Greg's a member of this golf course. And of course, Michael, in our group, was me, Greg, Henry and Ryan. So, like, some of the loosest dudes you can be with in Henry and Ryan don't, like, play golf or no golf etiquette. And they just, like, you go into these zones you're not allowed to with a golf cut and they just, they stop and you have to reverse out. And so they drive into one of these out-of-bound zones and start reversing out and just reverse, reverse.   I heard the no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, he was so stressed. Yeah. Oh, no, no, you can't do that. But it was a genuine accident from them.  I wish I saw that, dude. Man, was Greg genuinely concerned? Yeah, he was because he thought it was an intentional bet that I was like, no, no.  Oh, man. Yeah, but no, it was all good. And fuck, it was a fun day.  You've got, that's why, because if you can't hit one good shot of short, like, of course you're gonna hate it. Yeah, you didn't even play. I stopped playing after 10th. It was boring. No, you've got to play the shot because you live for the ones that are amazing.  I've gotten three hole in ones at Pitch and Park. I'll give it to you. 18 holes is good when you have nothing to do afterwards.  Dude, I could do 36 holes and still bend as hard as I did that night.  Yeah, you're not from this planet. But anyway, it was fun, play golf for your bucks, but yeah, definitely just, you pay the price. You pay the toll at the end of the night. At the end of like few days.   Yeah, that was actually, that got out of control. And there was a lot of crying. Yeah. Yeah, well, everyone's crying. Taunting, I was the thing I was looking for. Yo, did we get up each other? Like it got serious. Oh no, we're just getting each other's face. I remember I had a big bulge in my pants and I kept going, yeah, Jaden, yeah, bruh. And I just get every time he missed. I really remember then he scored like three goals. Yeah, actually he did pull through in the end. He won it. Yeah. Yeah, it was fun. We had fun, but then, yeah, we got sad for that. And then back to reality. But yeah, I just remember even just the last sort of five days of the holidays, just kind of drinking and doing drugs just to feel normal. And then that's when you know it's bad. You went away? Yeah, went away. And that was good.  But then just came back and then fucking, we went out for dinner. And then it was a footy night and then bloody, yeah. It was drinks every night. Yeah, and just not a smaller manny. That was just, anyway, let's just focus on. New leaf. Exactly. And turning it into a positive and, yeah, not allowing it to destroy our lives. Heavy bench press, six a.m. tomorrow morning. Exactly right. Did you say you've got this new love for Nimbin now that you've... I've always had a love in my mind. But like it's even more now?  It's like this wooden tent and it's completely isolated in the hills. And Nimbin was like an hour and 10 minute driveway. So I was like northern New South Wales. I don't even know the name of the place where we were. It's like Kyogle was the closest town, which was like half an hour away. No internet, nothing.  So you literally in this wooden tent in the middle of the mountains with just no one around you.  But God, it was creepy at night because like Mon had passed out by like 9 p.m. because there's no screens. There's nothing to do. I'd just be out on the deck smoking a joint and just looking at the stars.  That sounds good.   Especially when you had too much. Full of adrenaline. Full of adrenaline.   So I wanted to get in and someone wanted to get in because it's like all it is is just me and Mon out there. Like I knew I would have had to do the killing if someone attacked us. Cause like you can't call for help. You can't pick up the phone and call the cops. Cause you know that they're like an hour away.  And you're in the one spot with light. So they can see you, but you can't get in. Exactly. So I went inside, turned all the lights off and then just slept with another guy. For your eyes to adjust. Slept with a knife next to the bed.  I was only on one night that happened. That's okay. One night of terror.  Probably the owners just having a laugh. But God, it was good like, cause there's no barely on the internet out there either.   Distracting your brain. But did you see any shooting stars? Yeah, heaps. Oh, that's my favorite of two now. Did you have a little pool? And I, yeah, yeah, there was a little pool. Was that cool? Yeah, yeah, heated too. But you can see why they were obsessed with stars back in the day. Cause by like the third night, you knew the way the stars were gonna move. So I'd come out, the moon would be up here and then in like three hours time, the moon would be down here. So the sky was just constantly moving all night.  You were mapping. Yeah, yeah, literally. That was my TV, just staring at the stars and hoping for aliens, but nothing. Oh, so you didn't get any glimmers? I don't think so, no. Okay. I was hoping you'd get so high that you just sort of make your own up. Yeah. Man, that one that me and Luke saw? Yeah, I told you guys about it, didn't I? Oh yeah. After your place? Yeah. Like it may have just been a jet from Riverfire, but it was like four o'clock in the morning. Recently, yeah.  But anyway, we'd like put the windows down where the lights only turn the engine off and listened. Couldn't hear a thing.  It was going so much faster than the plane. No, not that fast. Like let's say this is like the whole sky. It was literally moving this fast.  It's still fast. That is so fast. Did you try film? Did you do any different movements? No, because I was driving and Luke, I think Luke was too drunk to bother filming, but I was like, is that just me looking to this thing? Is that way fast on the plane?  That's weird. There's three little dots tiny close to each other just going so fast. They love their little triangle formations too. Have you ever seen any for climbers? Yeah, I've seen a few funny things in the sky. And wow. Yeah, I don't know.  Jared, you never look up. He's always on screen, then drive home and bed. And I was like this. He's never looks up at the ceiling or anything. Even when you're driving, you're like this. Well, yeah, I'm a bit on the screen when I drive. Slightly glancing down a little bit. But, oh, now I forgot what I was going to say. Jared Wright. Yeah, he always was. I've seen his story. Yeah, he's had like seen heaps of sightings. Just these shiny orbs in the sky. Apparently, some people just attract them as well. So maybe he's just one of those. Yeah, well, he's pretty cool. Isn't that what your thing said when we went to Stan thought was to let them into your consciousness? Yeah, yeah, yeah.  And that was that was very cool. Yeah, because we all actually tried. Yeah, which was fun.  Oh, yeah, yeah, it's still we did sort of fine.  Yeah, yeah, vlog. There's a vlog on the website. But anyway, let's jump into the sponsors. Hey, here we go. Whistled. Yeah. Whistled sigh. From your nose. No, from my throat. That was crazy. Beautiful. Didn't wait that time. A little bit. Spray that in your mouth, Michael. Anyway, manscaped. Go to manscaped. A little bit. Can I have a look at this? Like alcohol. All right, manscaped. Right.   But like I I haven't read the whole email yet. But like it's good, man.   I always think I come back around to this business model. Since we get it for 20 percent less, you buy it. You sell it for the normal regular price. You're making that 20 percent. So if you want to run it as a business, you can do that too.     Manscaped.com. So fully actual 20 for 20 percent off. That's for free. Come in. I don't think anyone knocked at that. Do you know I just saw a shadow? You know the nose trimmer? They're going to get demonetized on that. It looks like fucking. And you know that you said something and you know that. Where is the bottle? It's just behind jams. Let's let's let's put it in a box and put it back. I hate that we're that's not here anymore. Yeah, the room feels emptier. Less kid like what I wonder if we just wrapped it in some newspaper. Yeah, there's a little box over here. Should we wrap it in newspaper for the nose? Trimmy, you can basically use it for your ears to manscaped. Yeah, back to women. Last week, we said not for women just because we're really down and low. So we had to take it out on like someone it's a for client and basically anyway, manscaped.com and also a G one for the last two days.  I've put my body through hell. And the only thing I had on Monday when it all hit me violently and it became very ill was athletic greens and it helped. OK, and I've had athlete greens today. It's great for your gut.  OK, your body is is deficient in many things. I let a G one help you with that, man. You feel better and you outsource your health. It's like it's a subscription or rocks up at your front door. You just have some powder, put in a cup and have one a day, man. And use our use our code fully actual. There's a link in the description and you go free travel pain, man.  Now you can take it on planes. It's green, too.  I don't know, probably.  You just put it in and whizz it up. It's foamy yummy. It's very good. And the vitamin D and K drops are unbelievable. Yeah, they are good. It's the tiniest little bottle and it lasts so long. We just need one drop. We just put one drop in a day and it's confirmed when I back when I had all the heart share the start of the year, they did heaps of blood tests.   Yeah, also for women, women, women can be healthy, too. If you want to be if they choose to be. Yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, we're not forcing any woman to do whatever that you didn't want to do. But women get it, get it, women.  Like you got like less. I recommend two for the girls. Yeah, might help. Yeah. Maybe we should just cut them. No, no, that's all right. That's all right. You feel as strong as us. No, well, they're not.      And guess what happens? Fucked. Have you seen George Mazadel when he gets asked that question? He's like, I could take on like, like an infinity number. He reckons that. Oh, man, that would be rough to watch. Just a thousand every day women. Well, no, he said a man, a man. He reckons a man to noon and as he reckons like a thousand of them, he could still beat them all. Oh, my God. I don't know about that. I disagree. Yeah, but like, you know, but anyway, let's let's steer clear of that. A.G. one. A.G. one. Always for women. Anyway, and of course, we're just kidding. Obviously, women are very, very strong. OK, very strong. Fuck. Exactly. Fucked.  Also, our subscription website, there's a 21 day link in the in the description. We have a competition going at the moment. We're giving away $25,000. We've already given away $15,000 of it. So you potentially could still win, even if you sign up right now, but probably not because you're listening to this in two weeks time. So all the money's gone.  If you want to watch videos from us weekly and from Kylovik and Zach, us weekly, then jump on board. Twenty one day free trial link is in the description. You can see if you like the videos. If you like him, you can stay if you don't.  Free of charge, man. It's crazy.   That had quite the reaction on the website. Yeah, no wonder. Yeah, it was a tough day. That was intense. We put a smiles on their dials. Who do you think is going to be the first to get dementia here?  Why? As if you will, James. Probably. You can never find your keys. Yeah, it's true. I'm think I'm as bad as you are with that. Oh, but neither of us, neither of us as bad as Mon. Mon is like something like I've never seen before. It's not going to be Luke. Luke's memory is unbelievable. You can remember everything for five mil right now. Would you have dementia at 60? Five mil. No, not five mil right now. It's terrifying disease. It'd be like being caught in a bad trip. Seventy. You get age 70 at age 70 and you live to 80. But you lose your marbles properly when you're 78. Give me a better amount. That's not a good enough. 80 and you get three mil. No, I rather not have it. 80 is pretty good. Man, I'd consider the 70. Oh, wow, OK. Because like 100 mil at 60 years old and you get 100 mil right now. So for 28 years or 30, 10 years for Brown, he can have the best story. I'm going to live to 100.   Man, you do it. I'm 36. Yeah, 14. So you've got 24 years left for the 100 mil. So you could spend two million. You could spend four mil a year or something surely. That'd be a pretty good life, wouldn't it, for that time? You could spend four mil a year, but you get 24 years of bliss. Imagine what you could do. Imagine how many basketball cards you could buy. You could probably buy a basketball player. He's putting him in your house. Well, he's for a year. All the stickers? You'd have a house just stickers. It would be like six months now. Every wall would be filled with stickers. You'd bring back Blockbuster. You'd bring back VHS. You could video shops. You could buy New Knee. You could buy a whole new knee and a metallic one. Made of ribs, dude. Maybe some hair. So you maybe do it. Come on, man. Please get dementia. Oh yeah, one of us are going to go, aren't we, first? I guess so. Hopefully we're all just old and weird together. It's weird getting old together, because imagine when we're in our 40s, it's going to be so weird. Yeah, it's going to be strange. No, 40s will feel the same, I reckon. Mate, I'm 40 years away and I'm dressing like this. Come on, four years.  At least, I thought he was 108. I feel pretty good for 108.  Okay, 100 mil, 60. Look, it's hard to choose because I probably wouldn't do it. No, I don't think I would either. Yeah, it's a scary disease, because it'd be like being caught in a bad trip permanently, because you'd be so confused constantly. 100 mil, 80, sign me up. Yep, yep, I'd do that. Yeah, okay. Because by then too, you'd think surely they'll have... What if it came on the first day you're 80, like full scale? You don't remember anyone, it's not a decline. It's like a bed screaming.  I'd consider just having a bomb timer that goes off one second before you actually turn 80. What if you plan ahead and write everything down? You have to be a round dice to it.  You get to always family there. It's Christmas. That's why you spend your money on it. He's laughing like that and you just hear...  Oh yes, yes. Yeah. Anyway, let's move on. Do you know that show on Netflix called Wednesday? Oh yeah, Esther and Mon really like that show. That's just completed that. Oh really, is it good? I've never watched it. Oh, I started watching Bear, the one you suggested. Did you like it? Yeah, it was not too bad.  Oh dude, it gets better.  Anyway, we're talking about movies and TV all of a sudden. I did it! All right, done, man. Matt vs. Michael, here we go. Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael today. Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael, it's Matt vs. Michael today. Yay. Come, come, come. Oh, who wants to come? Come have fun. Come have fun. Come have fun today. Bottle of come. Fuck! All right, I don't know what the score is. I'm going to be honest. We didn't do it last week. I think it's 16.50. Yeah, I saw a comment 16.15. But we need to be checked because I don't know if we're... That's frightening. I don't remember seeing that. Well, man, we should put it on a board, wouldn't we? Yeah, we should. It's all right at the bottom of that. We're not very good at telling and remembering things. No, look, let's just say it. It's 16.15 to Michael. I'm going to set an alarm and I'll sort that out tomorrow. 16.15 right now.  And the winner of this overall segment will get to keep the contents of this box. Matt's mints to do with whatever they want. And the season finale, where Will and Powerfish will be there as well. It's going to be a wild, wild night. And it's so close.    You were getting bent by him. Fucked hard by him. Remember the first, like, I just made him all really sexual.  That's right. That's right.  Sex positions on each other. We had to wrestle at one point. We had to wrestle at sex position. One was very good.  Dancing. Angry at Matt, because he farted during sex. Yeah, he was pushing on my stomach. Oh, yuck. Oh, yuck. Oh, that is close. Gross image.  Oh, man, I don't know. A strong no. No. OK, that's good. That'd be scary. Yeah, that'd be not on. Yeah. But anyway, so today's competition. Today's competition is... How would you even explain this, James? Yeah, the title's a bit tricky. Can we be archaeologists? So today's competition is who has the better vocabulary, kind of? Oh, no. All right, so this is a primary school... No, you'll see. I told Marty this game. This is a primary school game that James taught me. And so it goes something like this. We'll pick a sentence and we'll say something like adjectives, which is a describing word. So the sentence might be, Michael's cat is... And then Michael will start at the beginning of the alphabet. So letter A. Michael's cat is awesome. And then you have to say, Michael's cat is brave. B. Michael's cat is cold. But the kicker is that it's on beat. So it's like, Michael's cat is awesome. Michael's cat is brave, because otherwise you can't just use a sit there and think. Oh, this is... You've got to be quick. Wow. Yeah, I'm not good at thinking quick. You've got to stop telling yourself that because you block yourself.   Think about what your next letter is? I want to see the world. Yeah, panic the whole time until I get there. Right now, he's already thinking of words. Well, it depends who goes first, right? Well, all right, well, Papus is rock. Well, what are we doing? Is that what is going to be? Yeah, let's go to Michael's cat. I like that. All right. So we'll start the beat. And then when Michael chooses to go, you go with the letter A. I just realized there is no word for K. Killer. Mm-hmm. OK, Michael's cat is killer. Like, it's awesome. OK, but that's not really grammically. King can technically be an adjective. Yeah.   Like that. X is going to be tricky, but that's not the way we get to it. Good luck. All right. OK, it is hard.  We just gave you two. You wait. There's way more harder. I've gone so far down the alphabet. I've gone past Z. Well, Michael's cat is king. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, like, that's awesome, you know. If for some reason we get to Z, we go back to A, but you can't use the same word from the start of the alphabet. We won't get that far. Double trouble. All right, I'll start. Depends who goes first. No, you didn't get to start. All right, paper scissors rock then. Because then whoever ends up at K is fucked. Scissors paper rock. I'll start. You can use the ones that we've already said. Yeah. We get in the rhythm of the beat. Kinky. A kinky cat. Slower. You got to, what are you doing? Get ready, Matt, because once he starts, you don't stop. We're speeding up. Michael's cat is awesome. Michael's cat is brave. Michael's cat's a c***. Michael's cat is dumb. Michael's cat has a coal eye. What? What? Oh, yeah, E is right. Not a descriptive word, technically. Yeah, and you put an A in.  Man, that got hard real quick. I can't keep up with what comes after each letter. Dude, I thought we were up to F. Oh, man, that's so weird.  So I'm thinking of, fuck's sake. Michael's cat has E-cola.  Technically. You can say, Michael's cat's a c***. Michael's cat has a coal eye. It's like it's infected. So I just basically said it's infected. He's going to read it. Yeah, I don't know. I think we have to give that one to Matt, but there is another one now.  So that was English. This is maths. So now this is a doubling competition. So Michael's start at the number one, and then one double number one is white mat. That's two. And then Michael has to double two, and then you have to double four, and then so on and so forth until you can no longer. And no rush on this one. Yeah, you've got 10 seconds. You just speak, you know? So if you need to do a bit of maths in your head and think for a while, I think that's fine. All right, let's start. 20 minutes. Let's start because Michael's already working it out. All right, so Michael's paper scissors rock to see.  So you start with the number one. One, two, four, eight, 16, 32. You got time. Oh, he can't think that high. It's too much. 64. Mm, got it. 128. This is where it gets tricky. Oh, it's hard, dude. I'd give up. I would have given up by now. 252. Oh, close. I know it. It's 256. 256 is correct. OK, so one on all. Big. This is huge. I love this. So we should probably do a separate subject. Yeah. Do you want me to look up countries and they have to say the capital city or something? Yeah, yeah. It's hectic. Yeah, Matt likes geography. Maybe just in the alphabet. Doesn't look good as well. So they will go back to the alphabet and you can either come with a city or a country. Yep. A city or a country or a country. Because once you start cities, it gets out of hand. Well, we'll see. OK. I reckon let's do countries. We can do countries. Let's do countries. All right. So countries, Michael, you start. And go because no thinking. Austria. Bolivia. Colombia. Denmark. England. Can we pause for a second? F. Is England country or is it United Kingdom? Just England's a country. England's fine. F, France. Germany. I was about to say it in a day. Hungry. Ireland. Jamaica. What am I up to? OK. Shit. I thought of one. Kenya. Yeah. What are we up to? OK. L. L. I did it. Lithuania. Can't believe it. Oh. Macedonia. What's after M? Maybe city N. Oh, there's no such thing. Um, N. Nigeria. Oh. Oh, there's no such.  And if there is, it should be terminated. I can't think of one. That's fucked. You got time. I'm sure that there is.  Oh, my God, there's only one. No way, really. Yep. Is it hard? No, not really. OK, there you go. An obvious one. Your five seconds starts in five seconds. I'll give you one hint. I can say. So TEM did say Japan. That was hard. I didn't get it. No, I didn't want to be too nice. OK, and time. Enormous. Oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, I spelt it like oh, man. Oh, man. Yeah, in Africa. Fuck. That was hard. There you go. All right. Brown steals it. Where's it up? 16 all, potentially. Oh, my God. The Brown has come on back. There's a new boy in town.  And he's driving me brown. Oh, he wants to hit you so much right now. Hey, put it there. Hey. What's he doing? He's checking the cameras. Why? He needs to get up and walk. Anyway, guys, we're going to have a very hard and fast break and we'll be right back with Matt's Tinder adventures. Yeah. I'd have coffee. And then I was like a four shot coffee.  You did not have a four shot coffee. Well, four of the little tube thing. What? Oh, my God. Went just now. No, when I was at work. Oh, OK. And then I've had the mother. You have a lot of caffeine. Your way to get off that is to have endones before you go to bed every night. Ooh. Ooh. But I know what you mean. Have endones every night. Yeah. And then you'll fall asleep. Yeah, I just need to come off of everything. Dude, yeah, that sounds like a problem, man. It is. You're addicted to caffeine. Indeed. Matt. And sex. Sex and caffeine. Sex and caffeine in bushes. Imagine if you had caffeine in powder form. Going through bushes. High on caffeine. Caffeine is a new drug of the century. Anyway, Matt's Tinder adventures hit it, Brown. T-I-N-D-O, we have Matt's Tinder. Ha, ha, ha. Matthew Brown has lost control. Now these women will lose their souls. All right. We all know what this segment is. Matt is like in his mid 40s. And he just is just so lonely. Correction, 36. It's really sad to see. So we've gone and helped him and made him a Tinder account. And I do all the hard work for him. All right. And I speak to these women exactly how I know Matt would speak to them. All right. Well, do you want to make an announcement, Matt? I met someone. Oh, my God. So we weren't, yeah, we were just going to let Matt mention this in his time. But Matt has actually been seeing someone, Matt, haven't you? Yeah. And I found them myself. Yeah, he did. What's his name? His name. No, I'm not going to say his name. But, um, but, uh, special, special. So, so you're, you're, yeah. So you're officially off the market. Yes. So what do you want us to do with the Tinder girls? I don't know. So I've spoken to him about it and. I have an idea. And I think we just continue it. I reckon we keep trying to get you sex on the side. Yep. And perhaps we know another man in this house who could pick up some of those ladies potentially. Yeah. And he looks like me a bit. Yeah, I'm going to take him up. So, I mean, we'd have to ask him, but that could be the way to transition out of me and into him. Maybe just use my, I don't want to use my photos, but. But anyway, look, so Matt is, we thought this might become a problem.  Okay. Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. They, I found, I found her on my own. Yeah, I know, I know. And you need to know I will say you gave me the confidence. Yeah, that's what I was going to say before you really come in. Some credit. Yeah, I would look. But you didn't find her. I found her and you gave me the confidence. Yeah, we gave Matt the confidence by throwing him woman after woman after woman. And then Matt got his mojo back and now he's found his future wife.  No, I did not say that. But I've met her. Oh yeah, James has met her. Yeah. She's really cool. I will say, yeah, hopefully it works out for the best. Yeah, look, Matt, we're very, very.  We're very happy for you, Matt. But give him something though. Tell him something about her. Doesn't have to be her name, but something cool about her. I don't know. She just makes me happy. We're very. Do you hold hands? Yeah, that's cool. They're quite cuddly. I'm going to put that out there.  The most affection.   Oh, anyway, she's never watched the podcast. And I hope she doesn't watch this one. But she's going to see that. But yeah, she's she's really cool. And yeah, we're just we just communicate well. And it's really she makes me happy. It's good. There you go. Browns, Browns. Browns, Browns. Look, it's very good, Brown. We're very happy for you. But look, out of respect to these women that we've been speaking to on Tinder already, we will continue these conversations until the end of the season. There's only like five episodes left before the finale.  And because it has been a crowd favorite and we will all wish you the best in the future. All right. Anyway, here we go. Matt starts a conversation with this girl. Hmm. I could see us misbehaving together. Your trouble. I can stink it. Is that right? Yeah, I can stink it up your gash flops. Sign me up. I want to taste. Where are you?  I'm not sure if I like it or not. My mouth usually gets me in trouble. But then it gets me out of trouble if you know what I mean. My head spinning around in circles. My vertebrae is coiled up. My mouth usually gets me into trouble too. But then my p**** usually gets me out of trouble. Oh, is that what she said? Or is it the other way around? Well, there's only one way to find out. And that's by meeting up and joining our troublemakers together and see what happens.  Whoa.  And here I thought I was f***ed up.  I like it. I am, but I'm not shy about it. It weeds out those that can't handle it. So then when I do find a mate, the f***ing is so intense and dirty that I'm banned from nearly all the churches in Brisbane. I want to feed you like 30 donuts until you're sick.  Gluten and fat free, I hope. Whatever you want, my sweet, sweet hag.  You won't regret it. Oh. No! No! Is that right? You might when I break you.  I'm actually soaking to have me snap off in ya. Got any kids? No! Sounds like you want to take a s*** and snap it off in ya. Why do you want to know? I really hope for society's sake you haven't procreated. Yes, s***, don't knock until you've tried it. Seriously. No, I just want to know if you've had kids so I know if you've been stretched or not. Oh. Do you have a tiny s***? Only someone with a micro s*** would ask such a question. Be careful with that one. I have a f***ing girlfriend. You did not say that. Oh, wow.  Oh. And that's an ongoing conversation. She is lovely. I love her. Dude, that was intense. I feel like she's Rhonda's f***ing younger sister. Is she hot? Is she actually hot? I'll show you later. I need a face to that one.  I know, but I really want to know where. It's about what's in here, Matt. The words that just came out, the words that have come out, they're just... I need to see what face they came out of. Marty's vocal presentation didn't help. Made her sound pretty rough. But she was pretty rough. She dropped the C-bomb. That's why I thought she was a bit of a... She could use Mansgate. Yeah, maybe. Anyway. Thick, wiry. So, this s*** has... She studies law in her bio. By the way, some of these conversations are very short, and I just started doing Tinder yesterday again, so some of these conversations aren't very long. I didn't do any Tindering during our break. Anyway. So Matt opens with... What law do you do? Maybe for our first date, you could give me some legal advice on something. Oh, dear. What have you done? Lol, I just realised I probably shouldn't have opened with that. You're probably going to think I'm crazy, but I swear it's not as bad as it seems. I poured house paint into a pram while I was drunk. I genuinely thought the pram was empty, and it got like chemical burns and s***. It's totally recovered now, though, thank God. I'm actually a nice guy. I just got a bit looser after a couple of pints. Well, probably closer to 20 pints. No way! That can't be legit. It was on the local news like two months ago. Very embarrassing. I really regret opening up with this story, actually. Yeah, wow. Why would you do that, even if it was empty? I literally thought a homeless woman... It was a homeless woman pushing an empty pram Turns out she was just going for a late night walk because her baby couldn't sleep. The baby was so f***ing loud. It's like, that's why you put the page on it? Because it kept screaming? Oh, and that's it? Yeah, yeah, that's it. Oh, man. It's going to be good. I can't wait to see where that goes. Can you stay really genuinely asking for advice with that situation? Yeah. Alright, so this girl opens a conversation, and I don't know why she says this, but she says, No much about horses? I don't know. I know most things about horses, yeah. Do you have one? I used to when I was a kid, but it broke its ankle in a pothole and Dad had to shoot it like 15 times. Have you got a horse? Jesus Christ, I did want one before I saw that message. That sounds traumatising. Yeah, it was tough to see. The worst part was that its ankle didn't even look broken. Dad just kind of said it wasn't started shooting its body. Why its body? Are you okay?  But yeah, I don't really talk to my dad anymore.  Especially in front of me. I was only seven years old. But anyway, how's your week been?  Seven years old. That's nuts.  Oh, man. My week's been good so far. Just live, laugh, surviving.   I'd have huge hickeys at school.  Yeah, cool. What do you do for cash? Oh, God, he has issues. Sorry you went through that. I'm just to stay at home mum at the moment. You? I thought that was normal and how you bonded. I thought everyone's dad just did that. But it was just my dad. Brown dad. Brown dad. I work at a pub managing it. It's pretty hectic. Oh, wow. I could imagine. Especially on a hot day. And that's the end of that. That's an ongoing conversation. Oh, man.  And that's the end of the Tinder to the Adventures this week. Sorry. Sorry. Oh, it was James's birthday on the weekend. Oh, yeah. 36.  Welcome to 36. Thank you. Not 40. I'm 36. God, birthdays. Yeah, they get sadder and sadder, unfortunately.  So that was sick. And how close did you come to Breaking One? Not that close. I looked at the white handle. I really like it and stuff. Is there a chance in three years one might get broken? I would like to think not. Because once I have something like my putter I've tantrummed on it once. But I never throw it or anything. I hit a ball with it once. Didn't you bend it by hitting it with a ball? Yeah, I hit a ball with it. And I hit the handle and I bent it. But other than that. You just bent it back.  Steal, treat him with respect. No, you don't.  I stopped playing with my driver. I was just hitting every longshot with a four-iron and they were flying.  So much more accurate. Seriously, just thinking about never driving again. Yeah, I've been there before. Anyway, golf and movies can be disgusting. Sorry, guys. Sorry, everyone. I just realised we don't have a prank call idea. Oh man, let's just wing one. I reckon we call... Connor. Let's call Connor. Yeah, we'll prank tell everyone to get out of the house. Say some shit's gone down and we need everyone out. It's an emergency. Does Connor know that you're in here, James? I guess so. We could call and put him on loudspeaker and then we could abuse everyone. And you just know how awkward it is for us. Oh no, I have to stay here tonight. Tomorrow night's coming so crazy. That's the prank call. We'd have to film the reactions. We've got a few questions and then we have to open up that letter and that's a perfect idea. Alright, let's move on to the Q&A. If you want us to answer... Well, we've got a jingle.  You have all the questions and we have all the answers and we've got lots of dances for you. First question from IMZpeak1. And he says... Michael, which of Marty's split personalities torments you the most? What torments you the most? I know which one. It's not right to touch people. It's not right to touch people. You shouldn't be able to feel safe without someone's... without someone groping you. That's just... That's not a character. That's just Marty. Surely it's that Kiwi guy in the laugh. I can't imagine the Kiwi guy. But in the loud, obnoxious laugh in the shop. That in the shops is rough. It's the sort of nerdy guy that will say a joke and then just laugh so wildly at it. It makes me laugh when that happens. But getting felt up is like rough. You've never liked being touched. I just thought of this when we were younger. Every time Michael would order food at some kind of shop.  Oh, yeah. That's good. I'm going to bring that back. I channeled that out. Physical touch. No one's really a fan. I think I've got a photo on this computer of you doing that at the pizza shop. I'll bring it back. Please. Have a shot of that, Matt. You won't have a big swig for us. And then have some maple syrup after. For king and country. More, more. If you want to sleep tonight, finish it. Oh, sh**, we didn't even have that during the box. Yeah, it's survival. That's all right. Take it to the live with us.  That's a good idea. Next question is from Geek and Vans198. Oh, yeah. He says a big thing, but basically his question is when you filmed the scariest sports events and you did the tennis one that didn't work out, will that footage ever be released? I'd love to. No, just when he's retired, we'll post it. Yeah, maybe, but he might want to do work with the agency afterwards. That doesn't matter anymore. But yeah, anyway, we'll see. Even if we have to blur him. I've never been hitting the head that hard with the tennis ball. He was on the baseline, we're standing in the net and he can serve well over 200km an hour. And he f*****g got Michael squaring the head. So I was like, it's harder. You can't really hit much harder than that. Dude, I want to watch this. I don't think I've ever seen the footage. I'd love to watch that again. It's so depressing when he... I'm so excited about that episode. But anyway. So yeah, you will, but we'll blur it. Let's actually... That could be an unreleased episode for the Faklainers. Yeah. That was cool. Next question is from MarmiteKrompets2944.  We're staying here. He added more.  Are you scared? I've been all around the world in the wrong places. I made that up, by the way. It's going to save that question turn very quickly. But yeah. No, we definitely want to. We want to go to Bali now. All morning going up to Cairns for a f*****g weekend. Do a pub crawl down and f*****g meep switch card. So yeah, we will. And we do go to Aussie World. We do go to Aussie World. We go to Aussie World. That vlog will be out on the website soon. So we're kind of like branching out. Yeah, we're traveling a bit. We're moving out and about a little bit but not too much yet, hey? Stick to your roots. Where do we speak about going recent today or yesterday? We do New Zealand soon. No, we actually spoke about like a video idea soon. We want to go to Suicide Forest. Yeah, I want to go to Japan. There's a reason why we haven't splashed out and gone on a big trip which we will announce in a few, probably towards the end of the year. But yeah, there's it's coming. And next year, by all means we will be setting around the globe. So yeah, I get it. It is weird that we don't have a leave. It is weird that we don't have a leave. All right, final question is from Matt Crown. Brown. Remember when you made me Matt Crown? I can't remember when. But he made it. What was that from? You made me up as Matt Crown. I think it was a name in a prank call. That's right. He wants to know how you guys came up with the name Fully Actual. My memory of this is you just, I walked through the door and you guys just said, we're going to call it Fully Actual. It's just something that Michael used to say. Yeah, Fully Actual. It's like when you say something for client or anything. It's just Fully Actual. It's Legitness. It's Fully Actual. It's Fully Act. It's to the brim with actuals. It's actually full. It's just how everyone used to say Fully so you add actual with Fully and it's the best. It makes sense. Did you really hit that person? Yeah, Fully Actual. It's the best. I reckon everyone should use it. Try it. Try it now. Say it now. Stand up and yell it to the moon. Call it to the moon. Call it cops.  Fully Actual. I'm surprised it hasn't been taken because it is like the best thing ever said. You made it up. We haven't even spoken about how we had to call the ambulance because I was like, we called the ambulance recently for Julian. Remember? Have we spoken about that? He pulled his back out. There is a good clip of him just yelling out he's crazy. In the back of an ambulance screaming I'm not crazy. He just had the green whistle. Yeah, dude. As they're closing the door. I'm not crazy. I would have loved to be in that position. Yeah, it was good to watch. Oh man. Very nice.   Oh man. It's amazing how that just takes him out.  He was so angry.  He was just so angry at Michael. I was getting a bit touchy-feely. I was just filming him. I was trying to get like good footage thinking this would be so funny. I expect you guys to do it to me. Would we? We're nice, man. Yeah, it just makes me up when I'm not even parallel. It fills you up. He's trying to make you feel better. Yeah, I'm trying to make you feel better, bro. Some people like that. A little bit of a fraction. Yeah, I'm not one of those people. Well, how am I meant to know that? You've never made it clear to me. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! That's how I envisioned like old German women laughing. A hundred percent. Quite German. That's an old German woman laughing, a hundred percent. Yeah. Oh, it was good. Thank you. All right. Oh, I'll just open up that letter.  We have no idea what's in here. Probably pews. Rip it in half. Probably pews in here. This is to Matthew. So I'm just going to give it to you, Brown. Is this for me or is that his name?  And we will open everything live on the podcast.  This thing needs to be huge, remember? Yeah, well, it's always like at least like some haves each week. Oh, no. Yes. I was worried we weren't going to get enough pubes. We're getting enough.  How am I going to explain that to? Oh, yeah. Maybe just don't tell. I'm not going to. I'm just going to just let that one play out. Let that one play out. Is she going to be at the finale? She might like it, you know? Yeah. You with hair, it looks good too. Anyway, stop. It might be a bit wispy. Oh, you got pitches. Oh, wow. There's no pubes, unfortunately. Oh, it actually wasn't for you. It actually is a man called Matthew.  Oh, wow. That's beautiful. That is amazing. Show the people. Michael, can you get into the right camera? Oh, wow. That is nice. It's me and Bozy. And then there's Michael in a pot. And then there's Julian. Look at that neck. Matt Brown is spot on.  Come on, hold that right out of the camera before. Well done, dude. Matthew, thanks, dude. Thank you, dude. That looks really nice. Bozy looks really spot on there. Is that from a photo? Doesn't he look so cool? Yeah, that is. There's a photo of you and Bozy in the car. Maybe we're at the park. Even the German flag in behind us. You're also very realistic, Marty. It's like bang on. That's exactly what you look like. The neck could be a bit longer. But I guess it just ran out of page. All right, here we go. G-Day, G-Day fucks, my name is Matthew. And I'm a massive fan from the USA. I've loved all of your content for years.  I've sent pubes for Matt's shiny head. Oh, where are they? They must still be in the envelope.  All right, so that's the loveliest. We're missing the pubes. Maybe the customs got. Yeah, maybe it was sealed back up. So, yeah, Marty, maybe the pubes didn't make it, brother. It's so good if customs have your pubes, Matt.  We probably are, too. They probably think we're asking for it, which we are.  I thought you might find it funny. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I did one. I did one. Finally, I was really hoping you boys could all sign that small photo for me. Where is that? Are we missing stuff? It's under the baby. Yeah, just under its head. No, it's not. I opened that perfectly. Damn it. Dude, they must have taken the photo as well.  Yeah, there's no photo here, man. Yeah, Marty, there's some stuff missing from your package and it does look like it's been resealed. Over there somewhere? I opened it here. Damn.  Well, maybe we could sign that letter or is that shit? Oh, here's his address. Yeah, I've got it here as well. Oh, look, they've taped over his address. They really... Yeah, it's very weird. So, yeah, he says, finally, I was hoping you'd sign the small photo for me. It would mean the absolute world to me, but I fully actually, oh, man, I fully actually understand if you can't.  Oh, wow, I forgets it. That's how you use that. Thanks for the years of laugh and Matthew. If you're able to send the signed photo back, this is my address. Sorry, I don't know how much postage is over there. I'd love to come to the live show, but I know I can't this year with college. Dude, what I'm going to do, yeah. Should we send in Matt? Oh, dude, if you've got Instagram, DM us on Instagram, we'll send you a video. I'll take care of it. Matt, I've got your address and I will sort out a signed photo for you. And I may show up at your door at some point in the future. Ask a favor.  Another man. Matt to Matt to Matt to Matt. You know what we should do for a segment, I realize. Kill someone?   Well, we could set up maybe... What about it's sort of like a new segment where it's called fully actual with a ring one. Or just I'm outside your front door. Or I'm in your house. Yeah, and then we just film. And we'll sing Christmas Carols. It could just be, I guess, like an interaction with them. We'd have to travel a bit. It'd be hard. Sorry. Yeah, we don't want to leave. Yeah, only if you're in prison or the Brisbane area. We don't travel. Bali's going to be our biggest trip ever, OK? We're not going to Bali. We're going to Japan. Then we've got to keep Switch Down the Road and Cairns. Yeah. Sorry. And Blaine. Blaine. Blaine nine. Blaine nine. We're Blaine nine. Which is in Germany. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, sorry, Matty. They've taken your photo on your pubes. But yeah, do what Mat says. And before we forget. No, for fuck's sake. So last week we got, oh, last time. You can't just keep using the same book. I'm not. I haven't used this one yet. If you took notice of me ever. What about your other book? You ripped it. Sorry. Yeah, I did. You're just taking me everything not to rip that page. Yeah, I know. Shit, James is going to rip it. Oh, thank God. All right, so anyway, I'm using my Spider-Man book. My Spider-Man book. And I got this little Spider-Man sticker. And that was from the person who sent the spider, the stickers in. And I'm going to add that one to it now. Why are you talking like that, man?  Sorry. And that's the sticker segment. Fuck, man. Anyway, mint collectibles, trim side open recently. Go check them out. You stole that from the post office, man. You stole from the post office.  Actually it was another one. Yeah, true. You did buy that one. That one was sent in by a fan. Anyway, let's move on. I have a sour taste in my throat now. Let's have a very hard and fast bong break. And we'll be right back with a prank call. Breathe deep. Your time is there for us to waste. Yes. Picking up your phone was your first mistake.  It's prank call time. This is brought to you by my mother.   Mother's where mother embasses.  Mother, mother, mother. Energy, mother, mother. Energy, energy, energy, energy. Anyway, that's. Is that what we have to say?  Anyway, here we go. These have all been drinking by James. Your time is there. Very good. That sounded just like it. Yep. We've got a guest again. Yeah. Hey, Garnt. Look, I bought a pack of. JPS Blue 20s. Yesterday off you guys, right? And there's meant to be 20th pack, right? And I'll open it up. And not only when I open it up, I saw a lock. There's a little crack in the plastic and that. And when I opened it, one was missing. So there's only 19 in here. And I'm off talking further on that to prove it to you. But yeah, look, I need like. I need to get like. You bought it. Yes. Yes. I would have bought it. Finished up work about 2 p.m. And it would have stopped him maybe look 230 and that. So like user sold me a dodgy packet, right? And I've got proof because I've got further on that. Yeah, you can. There's no ifs or buts about it, mate. He's got to do something about this. Do you know what I mean? Like you can't be selling like it's a packet of. JPS plutonium. So I'm not sure. I'm not sure. It even says 20s. It even says 20s in it and lock. He's done. You know, that's not right. That's not like I'm. I came in this evening. So I'm not sure. Right. Right. Yeah. But look what I'm saying is your establishment and that lock. He's done dog. Me. One. Smart. Right. And I'll pay more fair money, mate. I'll pay more money.   Flocking myself out in the sun and that. And you just can't give me shorten that lock. I know it's only one smoking. That's only one city.  Like it's all about affix and that. No. Normally the pack comes field. So we are not supposed to open it. Yeah. No, mate. Yeah. Look, I didn't look. I didn't look down. And I know like he's might not have done on purpose and that. But what I'm saying is like maybe one of your staff. Like guys around like flogs on every now and then. No. And try to take my hand. Right. And then try to close it and that because it looks pretty good. Like, but like, I barely noticed it. Right. But if there was like a little, like a little, a little hairline, little fracture through the plastic of it. Right.  JPS blue 20s. And he's, he's flogged me one short. No, actually the pack was filled or not. Mate, look, I don't like look down 100% in that. But I don't think it was properly sealed. No. That's what I'm saying. Maybe one of your staff is flogging. Yeah, I can understand, but normally the cigarette pack, it will be always like sealed. Yeah. Once you open it, you can't, you can't like, fix it. You can't fix the sealing back again. Yeah. Well, I know. I bought my first year of JPS blue 20s. You can, the lady who sold you, you can come down tomorrow and talk to us. Yeah. Yeah. Like, look, make a lock or not.  So if he's good luck, just fix me up. I'll show you the file that I got, what? Or open the pack up straight away. One gone. Fluff, fluff in the air. Gone. I could tell it was gone because like, it wasn't all neat in that lock. It is usually in my packet of JPS blue 20s. And there wasn't anyone there. Okay. Tomorrow you can come down and she will check the camera and she can tell you what happened and all that stuff. Yeah. Well, what if she checks the cameras and sees me just walking out with me pack? Because I didn't know until I got home in that. So it's lock. You know what I mean? Of course, looking at the camera is going to do. You just need to make sure I get calm and say, I don't want to come down and waste more and more time. Come down tomorrow, right?  You know what I mean? Lock. You don't want to come down and promise me. You need to promise me, bro. I can't do anything because I'm not the person who sold you the cigarette pack. Well, you need to have a word to your boss or something because someone's flogged, smacks out these cigarettes. No, I can't. And I reckon it's you. I can't get my bag. I reckon it's you, mate. You can. Oh, oh, oh. I'm coming. Fuck. Oh, I've got a gun. Oh. Damn it. That's okay. Look, I enjoyed the, I enjoyed it. So have a station. The tenants really didn't have the time. Maybe not. Should we go down there and bash him? Where's more smoke? Where's more smoke? We just got a mouthful of tobacco. One seat.  Four of us rock up. Dressed like this. I don't know what he thought when my voice changed all the time. Big good old blue 20s. Yeah. Sorry. Not the best prank call, but you know what? We are still the best. Best. Best. Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. Use a five star review on Spotify.  The best. Where? The best. Where? Best. So. Where? Where? The best.   You can't.