Welcome to the Sports Playbook where we discuss solutions to issues that impact sports. I'm your host, Angela Hazelett. Today's guest is Skip Gilbert, the Chief Executive Officer for US Youth Soccer. We are here to discuss US Youth Soccer, the state of youth soccer. Welcome Skip. Well, thank you, Angela. Great to be here. Skip, I know you've played professional soccer as a goalkeeper for the Tampa Bay Rowdies of the North American Soccer League and in England, Holland, Hong Kong and Korea with the US Olympic Development Team and not to mention you are a college and high school Hall of Famer. So how has your experience as a soccer athlete informed your role as CEO of US Youth Soccer?  You can see how the play develops, how it comes at you. You can see where your competitors are going and what they're trying to do. And your charge is to make sure you can position your players from a defensive standpoint to be able to block what, you know, the other team is trying to bring at you. And then you're the first line of offense to be able to initiate all of that. So when you try to apply that to the business world, it works, you know, as the CEO of my job is to really oversee all the different departments, what the new initiatives are, how we, you know, exercise our evaluations of existing programs and how to watch the soccer system unfold in front of us. It's the vision on the field and off the field. So that's incredible. Good perspective. So that goalkeeper really has to keep their eye on the ball and the whole game. So the big picture. I know that USU soccer was formed in 1974, so before you took the helm and the organization really provides guidance and resources to its membership to advance the game of soccer for youth. And you serve age groups between six and 19. So what are some examples of these resources that you provide to your membership? Well, part of our chart, we do provide support for our 54 state association, 54 because in certain states, California, Texas, Pennsylvania, we have two state associations within the state. But generally speaking from a competitive environment, you know, it's being able to provide some of the educational material for coaches and referees to being able to provide the pathways. So whether a kid is at the start of their career playing within our, what we call League America recreational social format, all the way up to the elite programming where the kids that are the best from 13 up to 19, we're going to play either in our President's Cup tournament or for our national championships. So, you know, we try to position ourselves as really that community resource center. So anybody that has any questions, anything that they need from a youth soccer perspective can come to us and we'll kind of point them in the right direction. And let's let's hone in on that a little bit through resources for coaches. I know that there are different developmental techniques and approaches for different age groups. And your coaches are expected to have a kind of an age-appropriate license that's issued by US soccer. Can you talk a little bit about the purpose of this license? Sure. US soccer really controls all of the licensing for coaches, you know, whether it's your C license or at the very top of the game, the A license. US soccer is also, and it's more of a global phenomenon, you know, being able to create age-appropriate training so that the coaches understand that when you're dealing with a nine-year-old, it's a little bit different in size and scope than you would an 18-year-old. You know, there's a lot of different experience factor, the body control movements, their spatial and technical aspects of the game, what they can bring in. So, US soccer does a great job getting all of those licenses kind of together. Where we tend to get involved is more of the grassroots, almost the first-time coaching curriculum. And actually this week we just launched our grassroots curriculum with our partner Mojo. But what that is is if you think about, if you have a child who's six or seven years old and they're playing soccer for the first time, most of the time you're not going to get a paid staff coach.  A lot of times, hopefully, they've played soccer or they've been involved in sport, but many times they've never really taken the time to understand how to coach a player, you know, how to make that experience for the six-year-old fun so that they want to continue to, as we call it, you know, be a fan for life, you know, that they want to get that passion for the sport so that when they're seven, eight, nine, ten and all the way on up, that they continue to grow, they continue to have fun with the game, but to continue to just want to be a part of it. And realistically, that coach that for that six-year-old, you know, if they don't have the background, if they don't have some training, you know, they might not make it as fun of an experience. And, you know, for those kids, they're going to move on to either leave sport entirely or potentially go to a different sport. So when I was a youth, I know that they didn't have the same rigor as training and education for coaches. It was just the parents raised their hands and they got, we got thrown on the field. So, but I've heard some rumblings that that might be a barrier to getting parents to say yes to participation because of the time that it takes and the philosophies that they're trying to adhere to, to make it the best experience. So have you had a problem with parents signing up to be the coaches? At the lowest end level, not really.  The resources that we provide are the best way to describe it is one-minute clinics, you know, where you could be out on the field and say, hey, I want to create a plan or an exercise for my kids to learn, give and go. So you can go to your phone, you download the one-minute clinic and it'll tell you right there how to do it in a fun way. So we're really not there to take the time away from the parents' roles of being a parent or being a coach or working, you know, whatever they're doing. We want to be there just as a resource, you know, to help the parents just make it a little bit more fun, hopefully challenging. But again, we don't want to make it where it's so structured that the kid feels like at seven years old, they're becoming a robot where they have to do certain things. We want it to be a fun environment. We want them to just go out and play, but perhaps with a little bit of a twist. That's really cool that the parents and maybe they're stuck in the middle practice and trying to think of what to do next and they can just pull out their phone and find a new drill to use. So what about burnout? You mentioned that you don't want these players to be robots. They started six years old, they're getting more and more push for competitive play. So how do you prevent burnout in the sport and continue to have players develop that love of the game?  You know, whether you play soccer and then baseball or run track, you know, years ago I worked at U.S. tennis and I was out at mid-court for my first U.S. Open. My job was to oversee the professional side of tennis in the United States and part of that was to manage the U.S. Open. So I'm there with our chief medical officer and Andy Roddick was warming up and I said, why is it that our men have such a hard time cracking the top five? And his response was, well, watch Andy warm up. And you know, he's an unbelievable player, won the U.S. Open, you know, one of the one of the all-time greats in the American sort of history. But when you compare what he did in his career, which was basically playing tennis his whole life and how he ran and how he did certain things from point A to point B, and you compare that to Rafa Nadal, Novak Djokovic, Andy Murray, Roger Federer, who all played multiple sports, you could see the athleticism was different. And so realistically, what we're trying to ingrain in parents and coaches and within the ecosystem is that, yes, we absolutely want to find the best kids for our national teams, for Major League Soccer, for the NWSL as they get to that age. But at six or seven, they need to develop their bodies. They need to develop their minds. And if we just focus on soccer 12 months a year, it doesn't necessarily allow their bodies to expand to take in that athletic ability, because using certain muscles are different for tennis and volleyball and track than it would be for soccer. So if we have that mentality, hopefully the kids, you know, will be able to play different sports or, you know, play an instrument, you know, go do arts, do other things so that, again, you're a well rounded individual, but you don't get into that burnout factor after 12 months. What age group do you recommend where they should funnel into being maybe a single sport athlete year round soccer player? You know, I think all of the studies show as they get to that preteen teenage level, that that's really where most athletes will start to kick in. You know, and I think if you look around the world in soccer, you know, a lot of the international professional clubs start looking at 12 and 13 for the players that they might start to identify. You know, it's interesting because if you look at the NFL draft from this past, this past spring, I think I saw somewhere where something like 90% of all of the draftees from the first round played more than one sport in high school. So, you know, again, that kind of leads to that criteria that, you know, if the only reason the kids are doing it 12 months a year are for the economic engine of the sport, then that's not the right answer. You know, it's got to be absolutely for the kid. Soccer has always been popular internationally. Is it growing at the youth level? It is, you know, both at the youth level, at the adult level, the popularity of the sport, thanks to MLS and NWSL, you know, continues to soar. Now, we're all going to be watching the World Cup this year when the men play, next year when the women are back at it, you know, and we're keeping our fingers crossed that the men can live up to what the path that the women have for it. But you're doing some really interesting initiatives that's sort of taking the soccer beyond playing on the grass, playing on the turf. You are considering things like footsault, which is where a version of soccer where you play on a hard court surface kind of expands the opportunities of where you can play. Thinking about esports and really tapping into the virtual gaming. So, talk to me, why are you moving in that direction? Why are you expanding soccer to reach beyond the traditional pathways?  Years ago, when I was at USA Driathlon, I was down with our team at the Pan Am Games, checked into the hotel, went up to my room, looked out, looked down off the balcony, and there was a basketball court down there. I didn't think everything of it. After dinner, I came back, went back out to the balcony, looked down, just watch, you know, what I thought were going to be kids playing basketball. They were playing footsault. And I thought, right then, even before I got to US youth, you know, I was thinking, God, if we could have something like that in the United States where kids are going out to what were once basketball courts are in almost every city and they could play footsault, what would that do to the popularity of the game, the growth of the game, the connectivity of the game, you know, and kind of meets our vision of making fans for life, that, you know, even people my age could go out and play footsault and, you know, not limp when you try to get home. But again, being able to do things like that is terrific. And at the same token, look at what eSports is doing within, you know, kind of the global society. And again, back when I was within the Olympic movement in USA Triathlon specifically, Larry Proce was named the president of the US Olympic Committee, and he was the chairman of EA. And so myself, I was at that point the chair of the National Governing Bodies Council and ACEs, the chief executives of sport group, we took a number of CEOs to Larry's office to say, why would a video sport gamer want to be part of the Olympic movement? And don't you think that's going to have a negative impact on the Olympic movement in the United States? And he brought out more data to suggest that actually it opened more doors to people wanting to play the sport, you know, the game, and then they actually wanted to go out and try it. So not only did the video gaming make more fans, but it actually increased participation for markets that we never really thought there would be a market. So, you know, from those two, footsball and eSports, you know, it really kind of drives that, can we continue to move the needle for sport popularity and participation? Well, that is incredible. And I know you used to work for the Tennis Association as well, but in Harrisonburg, Virginia, where I'm at the Parks and Rec Department, put a video, a record error over top of the tennis courts to monitor usage. And they realized that more people were coming out with a soccer ball to use the tennis courts. So they actually converted it to a footsball court. So I think that's a great. And I love the fact that you're talking about how online gaming can actually convert people to becoming the physical athletes on the field as well, getting them excited about the sport. So that's definitely a great, great trend. I know for USU Soccer you have, is it two over two million members, I believe, and you've had great success with the history of women in the sport, particularly the US Women's National Team, the last two World Cup cycles in 2015 and 2019, all of the athletes that were playing on that team had been former members of USU Soccer. And what percentage of your membership are girls? You know, it's almost a 50-50 split.  But, you know, when you start talking about the girls side of the sport, next month, one of our state associations, Washington Youth Soccer, had the first formal girls program. And next month is their 50th anniversary of creating a girls program.  So, you know, it's worked really well and, you know, again, we're trying to do as much as we can just to support the growth of the sport because we know that it's equal, you know, both, it's a great boy's sport, it's a great girl's sport and, you know, whatever we can do to help make it the best in the world, we will. Well, that's interesting that Washington is celebrating 50 years of the sport for girls that coincides with 50 years of celebrating Title IX, which has brought a lot of opportunity to girls and women in sports. But not all of that has been glorious or glamorous. We've had issues with sexual abuse scandals highlighted by USA gymnastics. Youth girls are really particularly vulnerable to abuse by coaches, medical support staff, and others in sport. Since US youth soccer is focused entirely on youth sport, this probably is a great concern to you. So, what can you tell us about your efforts to protect these vulnerable youth from abuse in sports? Yeah, no, we're, we're strong advocate for the safe sport programming, you know, to put every adult through background checks. You know, we have protocols in place, you know, coaches can't be alone with, with any child under the age of 18, you know, we don't want the coaches to drive a single player home by them.  We launched last year something called USYS University, and it really wasn't meant to create coaching support for on field programming. It was more to help the off field mechanism of, you know, of kids getting older and being able to understand, you know, mental health aspects. We're working with the US Center for Mental Health, is one of our university partners. Our friends at TrueSport, you know, part of the US Anti-Doping Group, is character development. You know, when it's all part of being able to provide those resources and I'll, and I'll go back to the mental health side of it, is, you know, if kids feel like they're being bullied or they're being sexually harassed or abused, you know, how can they communicate that to their teammates, to their friends, to their parents, to their coaches? How can coaches understand and really be able to recognize when a child is in trouble? You know, are they seeing behavioral changes that they need to kind of, you know, either bring others into the into the conversation or have the conversation with the parents? You know, so we're looking at all of those and how can we be that resource center? So again, it's not just, you know, how can we make people and how can we help kids become great players?  Absolutely. And SafeSport is a non-profit. They're committed to ending abuse in sports, so that is certainly a very valuable resource. So what about the parents on the sidelines? We have heard about abusive parents that are really making it difficult for the coaches, players, referees. Which age group do you find maybe the most difficult parents on the sidelines and what is being done about abusive parents in youth soccer? You know, and it's one of those that I don't stand here and say this is a soccer only issue. You know, my friends at, you know, all the team sports, actually all sports, you know, have the same behavioral problems. You know, we, in trying to describe it, you know, given, again, the costs of sport at the elite level, we kind of put parents into that being a general manager, that they feel that they put so much, they invest so much into their child's sport education, that they feel like they can direct and yell at the coaches, the referees, the players.  And so, again, we're through our university programming and working with truce board in the center for mental health with mojo and, you know, in our hospital for special surgery, being able to bring awareness to what some of the behaviors and the impact it has on the players and the entire ecosystem. Because, you know, it's not just the players that are feeling the brunt of it, we're losing referees. You know, we've got a lot less referees and soccer and across all sport than we did just a couple of years ago. And, you know, there's a there's a great saying it came out of the St. Louis Sports Foundation, which is no ref no game, you know, no ref no play. And, you know, that brings incredibly true that if you don't have a referee, especially as the kids get older, it makes it very difficult to navigate the laws of the game on field and be able to create a fair environment for, you know, a an outcome. So we're doing everything we can to be able to put behavior modification stories together. I will give you a shout out to my friends at Little League Baseball that just came out at the start of the World Series this August with a whole campaign against kind of parental behavior. We're looking to do the exact same thing. We're going to be pushing forward a little bit to the fall. But again, if we don't change that that that behavioral pattern, and it's going to have a huge negative impact on the game. Get those parents to sign up as the referees, right? Experience the taste of their own of their own medicine on this from what's happening. And that'll solve the official's problem as well. Let's shift gears a little bit and talk about concussions and how the impact is on soccer. So I know you have some restrictions in not allowing headers for the younger athletes, meaning they can't use the hit the ball with their head as part of part of forward play or backward play. So and then the coaches or referees are supposed to suspend play when an injury happens that might involve a concussion. So what else have you seen that concussion numbers change in recent years? Or what else are you guys doing to kind of combat this problem? We've seen an increase in concussion. And I don't necessarily think that is because there's a higher propensity for concussion, but I think the safeguards are in place. The education is out there for how coaches, parents, referees are able to see when there's impact and to look for changes again in player behavior or simply put if two heads collide going for a header, and they both go down to the ground. Well, we're going to pull them off the field and have them go through the concussion protocol. So again, we've pushed on the safety feature. We pushed on the awareness factor, but we've really made it so that if there's any danger to the child or to the player from a head injury, we want to make sure that they get treated as quickly as possible. And then once they're cleared to play, they'll be able to return to the field to play, ready to go. It's interesting because I think historically a lot of us thought that concussions only came if you actually hit your head. But two players, you mentioned two players going up and colliding, they could bump shoulders, and a concussion can be sustained from something like that. Do you provide any extra training or tips or identification measures if there doesn't need to, if there doesn't be any, if there is not any apparent head collision? You know, it really depends on the impact and then the reaction post impact. You know, again, a shoulder charge is perfectly legal in soccer.  And just because you have one, it doesn't mean that you have the concussion.  But you're absolutely correct. There are some times where players hit the ground and their head snaps, especially on, you know, if it's a hard surface, if it's, you know, it hasn't seen rain in a couple of weeks, or if it's a old turf field, you have to just, it doesn't necessarily mean that a player is concussed. It just means that the propensity of concussion might be higher than it was on, you know, a beautiful soft grass field and the player just kind of fell over. So, you know, we're getting to that point where the educational materials are out there. It's part of the training that people are more aware of, you know, what those injuries could look like, you know, what the post injury can look like with a player and they're acting according. So, again, I think we're seeing more kids getting pulled off for concussion protocol. But I think that's just because the awareness is at an all-time high. In addition to concussions, give me the top kind of two to three things that COVID has done to make you rethink or change the way your organization operates or the information and guidance that you provide to your members. You know, one, the first thing that comes to mind with COVID, everybody stayed home. And so I think that changed part of the pattern as you get more into the elite play of trying to keep games closer to your home base.  But because of the pandemic, you know, we're seeing a shift in that regard. So from that standpoint, you know, that's there. There's also, I think the protocols, the medical protocols for COVID, you know, if you're if you're sick, you know, and if you've got a fever, you know, here's what has to happen today, even though it may not ultimately end up with a positive COVID test, there's still protocols in place that if you've been sick, let your coach know, and then you collectively come to the decision whether this day you might want to stay at home, or yep, I think you'll be clear to play. So it's just again, raise the awareness level of what the youth sport ecosystem really should be doing. Well, Skip, it's certainly been a pleasure. I'm curious.  No, I've hung them up. I've come to the realization that, you know, as much as I probably could go out and play with some of my friends at my age, you know, when you when you got to a certain level and you played at a certain level, my body just can't move as fast. And I know that if I went and threw myself across the goal now, the next morning, I would, you know, not be getting out of bed quite as quick. So, you know, I'd rather play on the administrative side and just remember the fun days than actually go out there. Maybe you can transition to esports then, Skip. Yeah, I haven't done that yet, but maybe I should. Well, thanks for your insight into the US youth soccer, the state of youth soccer. Thanks to our viewers for joining us today on the sports playbook. In two weeks, our guest is Jen Nelson from the US Olympic and Paralympic Committee who will discuss coordinating sports travel for the Olympic and Paralympic Group. We will see you then. Thank you so much for watching Think Tech Hawaii. If you like what we do, please like us and click the subscribe button on YouTube and the follow button on Vimeo. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn, and donate to us at ThinkTechHawaii.com. Mahalo.


Nairobi one ballroom where you are seated it can be split into two it can take a maximum sit down of 120 and a maximum of 200 cocktail opening to the foyer behind you where you're taking the photographs. We are 11 kilometers from the center of Jomokenata International airport at the intercessory of the two key roads south and bypass north and bypass the ambassador road and now the expressway from Jomokenata to expressway we have five minutes you land at the southern bypass either from town westlands Yigiri you land at south and bypass whether you're from Jomokenata International Airport you still land at the southern bypass so it is as easy as that we are five minutes drive to the CBD which means if you have delegates in the CBD for conference either at KICC or even in Yigiri now Yigiri has become very close from here up to museum hill is four minutes and 15 minutes to be given so we are talking about 20 minutes maximum to be given so distance is no longer an issue for us thanks god to this project in in the government the hotel has two main restaurants one is the galaxy for bed and breakfast and it's a restaurant for the spa most of you know it for ribs okay so it is your choice if you want to have specialty food particularly the ribs you can take it either in the room or just visit the restaurant so two restaurants we can take bookings in advance and that would mean even bookings in advance in Eldoret as well so we now go from 167 this hotel gave birth to a new baby called Eka Hotel Eldoret with a total of 85 rooms 80 deluxe rooms and five suites we are located at the Rupert Mall with an expensive an extensive gym there including membership so if you want to be a member you are able to get membership at Eka hotel Eldoret at this point I would like to invite Eva to speak a little bit about Otukai then I will conclude on our product as our thank you Eva god is good and all the time thank you so much for honoring our invites I speak I'll just be brief Otukai Lodge we are located inside Amoseli National Park and I can say it is the best lodge in Amoseli those who have been to Amoseli can attest to that so we have 80 rooms and we have a three bedroom kimono villa that we sell on a different entity very soon you're going to have the pool you'll have your own parking of course you have our own parking in private you'll you'll you'll be served with a villa so it is one of another property that will be sharing the new rents that would like us to comment experience so for Otukai Lodge we have big grounds we have the view of Mont Kilimanjaro we have enough grounds for team building we have a chapel amen so anyone wants to come to Amoseli we have feet for everyone so we even do weddings we have a conference that can host around 50 to 16 with the covid protocols and all that yeah so I welcome you all to Otukai thank you so much for the display support for those who have not yet supported Otukai I'm sure you're going to support us thank you so much thank you Eva a simple example


Day in the life of Mariah Cove. What is she going to eat for lunch? I know, you're coming. What was that? Somebody stop. Are you stepping on cats now? There's somebody to stop. Maybe. Maybe it was my heart. I need your heart phone. Because you know you haven't kissed me all day. You literally have not. I have kissed you, I kissed you this morning. No, you did not. That's why I did. I always get each other kissing. I kissed you this morning. This morning, what time is it? Oh my gosh. Do you realize it's been exactly five hours, four hours since I have gotten.  Fine. No, I'm kidding. No. Come here. You can't bed and then, no, you know, yeah. You don't even make any sense. I'm thinking straight. I know, I know that. It's never thinking straight. Oh, okay, yeah, I'm gonna call her. I feel it, give me a kiss, come on, come here. By the way, that was me giving her a kiss. That wasn't her giving me a kiss.  Is that really necessary? Yes it is. So what is the Mariah Cove eating for lunch today? I want to get a little rundown. This might not look healthy. It's not. This isn't? No. Are you kidding? It's noodles, baby. I know, but this one. I know, but this is. I don't, because it looked good. Remember, you wanted good food. You didn't want healthy food. Okay, no, for real though, look at it. The only healthy thing in this is the green beans, but basically it's like noodles and cheese, and it looks bomb. It was healthy. But I guess I was wrong. But it tastes good. But it tastes, I haven't tried it yet, so. Oh, you haven't? It's just hot. Oh, I'm the one, I tried it. I think it's good. Hey, you said the noodles were soft, soft on this one? Yeah. Right, it's pretty good, right? All right, all right. What is that like cheese and like, it's like kind of like spaghetti. It's like an unstuffed, stuffed shells. Do you ever have stuffed shells? Stuffed shells? No. You've never had stuffed shells? No, baby, you should cook them for me. My mom makes it, but. Oh, maybe you should make it for me. Maybe I will. It would be an awesome dinner. I would do it. All right, I've got to keep it down a little bit. I'm currently in our closet. Mariah's in the other room as you saw eating lunch, so I can't talk loud. But basically, I just wanted to come in here and say I hope you guys are having a great day. If not, I hope this video makes it even better, because as you see by today's title, I am going to be getting a job at Hooters to see how my fiance reacts. And if you don't know what Hooters is like, it basically is a place of all girls where guys go to basically drool over girls as weird as that sounds while they eat food. That's essentially their whole business model. And I mean, I guess it works, but you already know Mariah's not gonna react to this one in the nicest way. So long story short, super quick. I was at Hooters with the boys the other night, and these girls came up to us like the workers there and they tried selling us like these $10 T-shirts that they had for sale. So us being the guys that we are, we all bought like a Hooters shirt. Now Mariah doesn't know I had this shirt yet and all of us came up with the idea. We thought it'd be funny if I told Mariah that last time we were at Hooters, a manager position opened up and they asked us if we wanted to have the job of a Hooters manager. So basically I'm gonna put on the Hooters shirt that I bought and tell Mariah that I accepted like a part-time job as a Hooters manager. And most of the time, all the managers do at Hooters is like talk to all of the Hooters girls there. So Mariah knows this, we've been to Hooters together before. Like the managers really don't do anything until the end of the day when they have to like clean up and stuff. But basically I'm gonna be telling her, like I said, I got a manager position at Hooters to see how she reacts. Now, me knowing Mariah the way she is, she's probably not gonna take this the easiest way, but you know what, screw it. I'm doing it for your own entertainment and for my entertainment. So let's get this shirt on first because I gotta hurry up out there before she thinks anything suspicious is going on. Woo! Does this look good?  I feel like I need a hat. Some sunglasses. Definitely a hat. All right, how's this? Some ladies. Yeah, I'm a Hooters manager. You already know what it is. This looks professional, right? These are literally the shirts that the managers were wearing. The Hooters merch, okay. That's not all though, hold on before I go out there. I also printed out a random employee application that I'm gonna be telling Mariah that I'm about to drive over to Hooters and give this to them personally so they have my contact information when I do accept the job. They have like, you know, all of the stuff that they need to hire me. But without further ado, I hope you guys enjoyed this video. I'm gonna get back up there and try to set up the camera somewhere and get this prank on a roll. Make sure to give this a thumbs up. Thank you so much for watching and let's go. Hashtag team bills coming back today. Hey, baby. I got a surprise for you. Really quick, can you close your eyes? Really? Yeah, close your eyes.  All right. I need to tell you something. It's important, all right? Don't look. All right, don't look, okay? No. All right, so I was thinking the other day. Remember when me and the boys went to Hooters? Yeah. So nothing bad happened, but I have like news that I wanted to share with you that I think would be fun. What? So, basically, the other day when we were at Hooters, these girls came up to us and they had like a manager position open, right? Because one of the managers quit. And I was thinking it would be funny, you know, if like I worked there part-time. What? And just like, yeah, you can look, but just to get some extra cash, okay? So before you freak out. What shirt is that?  That I'm a new Hooters employee. Oh, you're so funny. I'm about to go run over there and give them my application. I was gonna fill it out first. It's a manager position. I always wanted to be a manager. And Hooters? Yes, no, literally. They gave me this shirt for free. She said, you can have a job. Who is she? How old is she? It's just a employee. Who is she? It's not a girl. Why are you focused on the girl? I want to have a job. No, I want to be a manager. How old is she? Wouldn't it be cool to be a manager at a store? No. That would be sick. Why Hooters?  Why are you going to be a boss manager for Hooters?  Every time the boys come there, we get free drinks, right? I get benefits, more cash in our pocket, you know? And I can be cool friends. Maybe the girls can even become your friends. No. Yes. No, babe, I don't trust that. I don't trust, I don't like that idea. I don't like it. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Listen, listen, listen. No, I'm not going to freak out. What problem- I need to ask. What girl wanted to get you this job? I need to ask. Clearly, she's trying to flirt with you.  You believe me, though. No, I don't believe you. Are you blinded? No, do you, like, I promise. I ask- Okay, do you want me to support this? Answer my question. No, I don't want to hear it. Answer my question. I can start. I'll be through the night check. We don't film during the night. We don't film TikToks or YouTube during the night, so I think it'll be perfect. Listen, listen. Why? Answer my question, okay? Stop. And answer my question. How old was the girl? She is an employee there. She was just trying to hire people. How old is she? She was going around to everyone at her. How old is not my question? How old is she? Probably, like, 30s or 40s. No, she wasn't. Yes, she was. It has nothing to do with the girl. Well, I'm sorry, but why in the world would you want to work at Hooters other than the reason of wanting to see girls? Yes, that's not the reason. Yes, it is. Give me my application. I need that. I'm doing a job there. Listen, she said- Oh, it's weird.  Why would you work at Hooters? Do we film at night? It doesn't matter. So I can get the night shift there. I'd rather work than sit here and watch Netflix and stuff, you know what I mean? We can have fun and film, and I love filming. I will never quit filming. What made you say, oh, I just want a job? I love our followers. I love TikTok and YouTube and Instagram and Facebook. Like, let's film and do all of our fun videos during the day, and then at night, I can have a manager job. Can you let me speak? Wouldn't it be cool to be like, oh, my boyfriend's the manager at Hooters. That would be sick. Can you let me speak? What out of all places made you want to go to Hooters? I didn't want to go to Hooters. The opportunity presented itself. No. Clearly you wanted to be working with her. Clearly. You're not listening. You're not listening to me. All of the boys, we were at Hooters having a couple drinks. The girls were going up to people's tables and everyone was like, no, I have a job. I have a job. And no, why would you rip that? You're not getting a job at Hooters. No, it's a girl job. No. Babe. I don't need to be controlling, but no. It is not a girl job.  No, let's put that back together. You're not getting a job at Hooters. You don't need to get a job at Hooters. Do I not look good in this? You look sexist. Yeah. It's good for me. My eyes can see. I don't think you, no. No. I would probably make this. I don't care. If it was a job at anywhere else, there's, babe, the whole point of Hooters. Do we do anything after like five o'clock? Yeah, sometimes we do. Okay, yeah. I don't need you to be relying on Hooters girls all day. I'm not relying on them. I don't support it. Babe, you can eat them for free. I don't like Hooters. Oh my God. Hooters should, no. Babe, can you just level with me? No. It's not about the girls. Why are you so focused on me? It's not, I don't care about the girls. I don't like Hooters. Oh my God. I'm doing it. I'm just like, do you want me to be? I'm gonna print out a new one. I don't know why we would be so disrespectful to rip that up. You have to respect my choices too and how I feel. And if I tell you I don't feel comfortable with you working out, you're fine. No, clean that up. You're rude. No, listen. Why would you rip up my application? It is a dream. But you're not respecting me. Dream to be a man. No, it's not. It has always been my dream lifelong to be a man's advocate. Yeah, it's a benefit you can see all the girls during the day and talking to them. I feel like I would make such good friendships with all them. I don't believe it. I feel like they would love it. I don't believe it. I'm loyal to you. I'm loyal to you. Can you just trust me? No, I'm not gonna trust you. Hard time. Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays, boom, that's all. Five to 10. Perfect. Please, if you love me. If you love me, then you'll listen to me and respect me too because I don't feel comfortable with you being a man. Why would you want to be a manager at Hooters? Can you please? No, can you please? Can you stop being like this? Can you stop being like this? No, you're not working at Hooters because it's better than your dream. You never talked to me about how you wanted to own a Hooters to be a manager. Why are you dissing me? No, now I see why you go to Hooters all the time. That's true. And now you want a job there? That's not why I go to Hooters. When you go to Hooters just to like have fun and hang out with boys. How's the energy? What guy wants to be a job at Hooters for any other reason besides they want to go to a job all day and they're not working? That's just a benefit. That's what's a benefit. I told you, you get benefits there. I can hire you. Oh my God. No. You can be a dream team. No, I'm sorry. I'm not. Come on, manager, employee. Perfect. I'm not being an employee. No, absolutely not. Can you please just allow me? No. Come on. If you really want to do this, you have to accept that. And you have to accept the fact that I don't like it and you can't do what you want all the time either. All right, well, I'm still going to take the job. I'm still going to take the job. What do you mean? I'm still taking the job. All right, go ahead.  Maybe I do want to branch out and get more friends than our girls. It's not a bad thing, you know? Like, it's not. It's not. But what it is, it was a prank. No, they did offer me a manager position, but I turned them down because they can't take all this. Did they actually ask me for a man to be a manager? Yeah, she was like, you know what? You would look so good. We're never going to go to Hooters and you're going to tell me the world I did. I'm going to say, listen, honey, I'm a fiance. He's mine. You're not hiring him and he's never going to work with me. Do you think that's why she was trying to hire me? She actually- She wanted me to be her manager? They were actually serious. Did she actually- Yeah, she was like, you know what? You would look really good in one of these Hooters shirts. No, they did stop. Don't mess with my feelings with me. Why do you think I have this? Have you ever seen this shirt before? Look at it, she was like, I think you would look so good in that Hooters shirt. Be so real. Be so for real. Be so for real. Be so for real. That's not even a thing I'm going to say. Tell me where you know. Did a girl actually do that? No, she didn't. She didn't. I was about to go fight someone. But you know, if I was a Hooters, they'd be like, damn, look at that dude. No, they wouldn't make me mad. He's the best looking Hooters manager You've had like 10 years. I know girls that want it and I'm cool, I would be so mad. Right, you really think I'm not loyal to you? No, I never said you were. You were literally mine forever, give me a hug. I never said you were loyal, I'm just saying. You feel me? But I would make a pretty good damn good manager. You would, but not a Hooters. Okay, we're going to let that dream decide. Wow, this is the dream killer right here, right here right now. You never told me Hooters was your dream job, so that's a lie. Well, I guess I'm just going to cry myself to sleep because she ripped up my application and she won't allow me to work at Hooters, guys. You know what? All I need is y'all to put team Bill in the chat because I hope you guys enjoy this video. Listen, I respect any of the men who decided to get a job if that's like what they wanted to do, but the thing is, you don't need this job. I know I don't, but it's a dream, right? No it's not, a dream for your eyes. I promise you, I am so loyal to this girl, I would never, never not take this girl's consideration. Wait, now take this girl's suggestions into consideration, okay, we're a team. So if she has an opinion on something, I'm going to take that into consideration. If she doesn't want me to work at somewhere, I'm going to be like, okay, I understand. Oh, it's James, I'm sorry. But I hope you guys enjoy this video. We got Mariah, we got the Mariah code. Team Mariah is here compared to team Bill right now. No. You said yes? No. You said yes, you heard it for the first time, I'll stop, we're going to end out the video right here right now before she says anything else. I hope you guys have a great rest of your day and we will see you in the next video. But until then, peace, I love you guys. Love you guys, coming back is way more. You, stop. That is forbidden. That is forbidden. Team Bill is forbidden. Team Bill, coming back. See you in the next video, mom and squad. Peace.


We all go to our ruin. We are all the same in this. Welcome to Church of the Chair where I have somehow collected a bunch of books by an author I have never read before. I'm your host E, and today Laird Hunt is getting dark with his fairy tales. Yeah, so at some point in time I collected Zory, Never Home, and The Evening Road by this author. Today we are talking about In the House in the Dark of the Woods by Laird Hunt. I never read this author before. I picked up two of these books off of Book Outlet, the one that I'm talking about today, and Zory over here. The other two I got from a library sale, I believe they cost me about a quarter a piece. And I decided to pick this one up because I wanted something short, dark, and literary, and this seemed like the perfect deal. It is only 210 pages, something like that, 214 pages, and it blows by very, very quickly, and it is the perfect length because in my humble opinion this book makes absolutely no sense. Writing is for work and God, Eliza. Writing is for many things, goodie. That is not to say that this book is a bad book. What I consider this book to be is literally the journey, the experience, what the character goes through during this weird, wacky, mind-boggling journey into a dark woods. The main character really has, isn't named throughout the book, and I'm still by the end of the book wondering if any of the names that she was called was actually her name. She's called a pet name Goody. She is also called Eliza, but there are other characters named Eliza. There's a character named Captain Jane. There's a little girl whose name slips to my mind. And I honestly can't tell if this is a metaphor or an allegory for all of these characters being the main character, but I somehow doubt it. What I do know is I had an absolutely wild time with this book because it is so dark and grim. Basically, if you think of Grimm's fairy tales from an adult perspective, from a horror perspective, but this is definitely literary fiction. It is written in the same voice as its historical time frame. It's New England, I believe. I could be completely wrong about this. It is Colonial New England. It says, set against the eerie, dangerous world of bygone New England. In the house, in the dark of the woods, is a historical counter unlike any you've read and a novel you'll soon, not soon forget. I agree with all of that. I finished reading this almost a week ago, and I think about it quite often, especially some of the surrealistic aspects of it. I've been trying to piece together what the ending could mean, or nearly everything after the halfway point. There's a flying ship at one point. It all gets very odd, and it's very much a fairy tale in league with things like, I guess I would say Peter Pan-ish, because it is about someone going to a weird place and ending up in a flying ship, so that's a very loose comparison. But it's definitely a fairy tale, and there are some horror scenes, some very unsettling, subtle horror going on in this book. Like scenes, think of It by Stephen King, where Pennywise is the mummy, and Ben is looking off the bridge, looking down at that. Just that image, that static image of something standing there that shouldn't be standing there. There's a lot of stuff like that in this book. There are some illusions I think I caught with the character's mental health, what she was going through. But I would highly recommend if you liked movies like The Witch with the two Vs, The Vitch, whatever you want to call it. If you liked that movie, you were absolutely going to love this book. I see something. Can you see it? Lean close. Something stirs. My favorite part of this book is the mounting, increasing sense of dread. From the very first couple of chapters all the way to the end, there is this confusion in your mind, or at least in my mind about what is going on and what is going to happen next. There is a scene involving a well, and going down into the well, that the tension was off the charts for me. This isn't a thriller with thriller writing, but at the same time I was on the edge of my seat, waiting for what was about to happen, because nothing had happened like I thought it would up until that point. There are many scenes like that in this book, just one right after another, where you're questioning whether or not what you are seeing is real, what you are hearing is real, what you are feeling is real, and then you have very well described over the top sequences, like I said, like with the flying boat. I never knew exactly who was who, because like I said, several characters share the same name in this. And I wasn't sure once again if it was allegory or metaphor for all of these characters being the same character. Very well could be, so if you caught that also, if you've read this and you caught that, I would love to hear from you. But I was astonished with how unique this book is and how it is not written down in any way. It is very, I don't want to call it literate, but it's very literary and I think it captures the essence of the timeframe absolutely perfectly. What some might consider run on sentences, I would look more at like a Cormac McCarthy style of writing. Don't worry, there are quotation marks for what little dialogue there is in this book. But I would say if you look toward a comparison for what the writing style is like, it's definitely Cormac McCarthy adjacent. The plot is very straight forward, it's about a woman getting lost in the woods and experiencing some wild batshit crazy stuff out in the woods, like witches, strange men running from things. It's very surreal, like I've already said, but if you're into that kind of thing, I would highly suggest you check out this book, but I wouldn't read it if you're expecting answers. The same thing would go for like Jack Jemps, the grip of it. I got the same feeling from that book as I got from this book and I believe the confusion is on purpose. It's not supposed to be explained. There might be themes and things like that, but certain things are just left to be their creepy selves. And I absolutely love it about it. It doesn't overstay its welcome. It's only 214 pages. So if you want to give it a shot, please do. There's a link down there in the doobly-doo you can buy from that. It's an affiliate link. I get a couple pennies and you get the book. But that's all the time I have for you today. Have you read this book? What did you think about it down there?  But until next time, I'll hail the chair.


G'day mate, Forty here on the Manley Fast Ferry. All right, we're getting ready to rock it over to Manley from Circular Key, which is by the Sydney Opera House. There's the Opera House. Here we go. So Fast Ferry takes about 14 minutes regular ferry. It takes about 24. And we're off. Just love being on Sydney Harbour. How could you have a negative view of life when you're in a place like this? It's funny, I brought my laptop with me and there's this tiny pinprick of light. It's just bugging me. So when I watch shows on my laptop like I like to chill out at the end of the day, you know, walking about 10 miles a day. Oh, Phyllis Carlisle, influential talent manager and producer. I interviewed her. Okay, she just died. So I did a book with about 60 interviews of Hollywood producers and she was one of them. She started out as a casting director. So most of the producers I interviewed, they started out as lawyers. So she managed the careers of William Defoe, Gina Davis, Melanie Griffith, and you go see a John Malkovich. She produced films including Seven and The Accidental Tourist. She was just a great interview. Just so raw. She says, Ayn Rand said something once in a book that stayed with me my whole life. You know everything you need to know about somebody in the first 30 seconds and you spend the rest of the time, you know, the learning that you were right. So first producing Credit was on the Accidental Tourist. Remember that movie from 1988? It was just really frank. So I talked to her around 2003. And I'm looking through my my Apple iPhone and it had this article on nine phrases you can use to brighten someone's day. I really wanted to share this with you because like brighten someone's day, that's just the perfect article to accompany some video Sydney Harbour. They're having purpose in life as associated with greater life satisfaction and better health. So here we go. Use these nine little phrases to instantly brighten someone's day. I think what's more important than the words is your state.  But it's true. We do underestimate how happy we can make other people, particularly when we give them a compliment. So say, I am proud of you. Yeah. So you can use this with big achievements like a promotion or graduation, but there are all sorts of little things when people make progress when they try something for the first time when they demonstrate good character. Right. You can say I'm proud of you. Another one is I see your gifts. I remember in my days as a worker, like how much would mean to me at times. And I was struggling. But someone would appreciate me and see my gifts. Tell me more about that. Ask people to tell you more about their interest, feelings, and experiences. Find out what's important to them. Ask them to elaborate on their experiences. Invite them to go deeper. Share their perspective. Tell me more about how you interpreted that feedback. Right. So here's the picture.  I just feel lucky you're on our team. I admire you. Love spending time with you. I am grateful for you. The expressions of gratitude start a positive upward cycle. Thank you for cooking dinner. I'm grateful for your insightful comments in that meeting. Thank you for a great phone call. That you are making a difference. Remind people the ripple effect of their actions.  You inspire me in the way you show up for your friends and your family. It's made me think about how I can be a better friend. You can do this. All right. We've all struggled with gaining confidence so there's someone close to me who my father would inspire and help to get through law school and get telling her you can do this. You can do this. Help them to reframe the obstacle into a challenge. Point out a recent win. Remind them of past successes and you changed my life.  Okay. Want to sound and feel more confident. Ditch these 11 phrases from your vocabulary. Say psychologists. People who are good at small talk always avoid these seven mistakes. All right. I want to go for that one. Assuming that nobody wants to talk to you. Yeah. I've often gotten into that kind of slump. All right. Out and about just feeling awkward in a social interaction. I just assumed that no one was to talk to me. Interrupting or intruding upon an existing conversation. I have done that a lot. Start talking without having something to say. Broaching controversy or topics. Being hard to follow. Talking too much about yourself or about the other person. Nobody likes to feel interrogated and I've done that a lot. You sense that your questions aren't welcome back off. Yeah. This is something I need to hear. Instead tell a story. Offer an opinion. Otherwise relieve them of the burden of performance. Wasting someone's time. Then stare at the floor. Look over their shoulder. Put your phone away. Be present. Okay. 11 common grammar mistakes that make people cringe. Yeah. I didn't realize there was all this good stuff on CNBC. Oh it was funny. On Twitter I have an acquaintance like an online friend who routinely sends me about 20 messages a day on Twitter. And I enjoy looking through them. I respond when it's something that speaks to me. So yesterday after getting the latest batch of 20 messages that I didn't respond to I suddenly find I'm blocked. How is that? Like you have a friend who's like sending you or online friend I've never met. Sending you all these pictures of himself and you know all the places he's going. Which is fine. Like there's a lot of you know there's some good quality content in there and boom you get blocked. Okay 11 extremely common grammar mistakes that make people cringe. Okay apostrophe is in the wrong place and necessary apostrophes. Okay every day as one word is two days confusing I, me. The manager told Riley and I should be the manager told Riley and me. It's versus IT apostrophe S of course less of fewer. So fewer is for numbers less is for things that can't be counted. Use less with numbers when they are a single or a total unit that measures distance amount or time and less than 30 percent of us bothered learning these rules. Lie or lay. I could just lay down and go to sleep. Wrong. I could just lie down and go to sleep. So to lie is intransitive which means it doesn't have an object and doesn't do anything to anyone or anything else. The lay is transitive which means it does have an object. Okay I get this wrong so it's something or someone the verb is doing something to someone. I lay down my head. So you can say I lay myself down. Confusing loose with lose. Alright that's obvious that and who. The people that reach their sales target will get a reward. The people who reach then versus then. Use then T-H-E-N when you're talking about time. Use then when you're comparing things. Okay there is a location T-H-E-Y apostrophe R-E is a contraction and T-H-E-I-R is a possession is a possessive meaning ownership. You and you. Okay most of these are pretty dumb. Getting closer to manly. So if you get anxious about traveling I know I do but it's a lot better when you have friends and community like when there's a synagogue that you can go to or if you go to a church or a mosque or whatever your community is there's a there's a community there wherever you're going makes everything so much easier. Friends community they teach you how to navigate new surroundings. Normally I can travel all around Sydney for just like a dollar a day but I didn't realize the fast manly ferry costs ten dollars fifty Australian. So if this was the regular ferry it cost me nothing. So now I'm out seven dollars American. Live and learn and this fast ferry has not been particularly fast. Manly is north Sydney. It's got the second most famous beach in Sydney after Bondi. Scrolling through Apple's News Plus ten dollars a month. You get subscriptions essentially to 100 different magazines and I was so excited this morning when Australia got an opening goal on France went up one mil till France answered in the 26 minute and kicked three more goals to win going away 4-1. Just like I was so excited when the USA got an early goal over Wales and then surrendered a late goal for a tie. Everyone gets wrong about protein man I regret my lifetime as a vegetarian. A lot of people have ill effects from being vegetarian that really wrecked my health. So here's a story when Kerry Forrest Steak arrived in the spring of 2014 she looked around nervously she had a vegan blog with a very successful app she had a master's degree in nutrition she ate plenty of beans and soy for protein yet she was exhausted. She'd been low energy for months ever since she'd switched to being vegan in 2010 inspired by the actress Alicia Silverstone and a love of animals and the hope that she'd give up those stubborn five pounds that kept coming back and she realized this isn't working I felt ashamed this is my health have to make a change so she searched for words how to tell her audience June 14 2014 she had published on why I'm no longer vegan and in hours she had hundreds of negative comments such as no true vegan would ever listen to their body and eat animal products she got bad reviews of her app on the app store so many people unsubscribe from her email list she received an auto email from Mailchimp saying her account had been suspended because the company was afraid she'd been hacked she was alone except for her husband and a therapist but she held on eating beef and chicken steak and two years later the first email came from a negative commenter saying she too had given up being vegan apologized emails began to trickle in and turned into a small steady stream and she she published a post how to reintroduce meat after being vegan or vegetarian so many people think a high protein diet causes kidney problems and healthy adults not true says this article in women's health


the narcissist parent will ruin your life part two the narcissist parent will create fantasy they will do this because they want to be seen in a different way it could be someone they want to be more like or it could be something that they always wanted a large muscular man a successful music artist or a beautiful woman you may desire one of these yourself and this is why the narcissist parent plays the part it is also because they feel like they're not good enough as they are they are slaves to their desires which can never be fulfilled narcissists are often very successful people in the beginning look at any narcissist who is famous and you will see that this is true after their initial success you see them holding on to it for the rest of their lives never really progressing just holding on to what they once had they are not capable of long-term success in anything and this is why you will find yourself holding on to what you saw in the beginning because you know that they are not capable of further success this is it this is as good as it gets with them and that is why they don't even bother trying to make it work they won't even waste their time think about it if they really believed they were capable of making it work they would at least try to make it happen that is another reason why they become narcissists they want so much more but they know they cannot do any better so it results in them self-sabotaging becoming hateful angry and envious of your progression or success on the surface they sing they seem so self assured and confident but this is nothing more than a mask the real person has no self-belief at least not long-term they can pretend and put on an act for a short period of time but most of it is just words and they have no ability to follow up with action they don't want you to help them they just want you to try to help them that gives them narcissistic supply they are willing to destroy themselves and sacrifice their own future if it will emotionally and psychologically damage you they see themselves as much greater than they actually are but they see their lives as being less valuable than your feelings your emotional state is everything to them it determines everything they do and everything they say because their lives revolve around provoking a certain emotion within you and then obtaining a reaction from that emotion this is a form of narcissistic supply and it shows how greatly they value your life if they are willing to invest so much time and effort into trying to destroy it the saddest thing about the narcissist parent is that although they all end up alone and miserable in the end they once actually had all of the tools they needed to create everything they always wanted they just didn't see it they were too busy taking advantage of their scapegoat child and their emotional state sabotaging their future rather than focusing on building a life that they could be proud of and focusing on progressing in life so they will feed you something to dream about years go by and nothing really changes you might develop an awareness of this and realize that after so many years nothing has changed so they will point out things they have done for you like they have given more than you have but think back to the beginning all of the things they told you all of the plans for the future did any of that ever happen no they were all empty promises that they never planned to fulfill so focus on the present did you ever dream for any of this i can bet that this was never what you expected and it was never what you wanted it was also nothing that the narcissist ever mentioned in the beginning remember everything they promised you think back and remember it all when you do that and then look at your current situation with them you will have every reason to no longer view them as a credible source they don't want to do the work to help you improve your life and to be honest they don't even want to see you progress anyway so what do they do they give up that's their mentality if they feel like they're not capable of doing something they won't even try they just give up as you are becoming a teenager and finding your identity the narcissist parent will put you down they will make you feel as though you have no right to be happy the narcissist parent does not want you to have a relationship i always noticed my father was very angry and insulted when i started being around girls every girl i have ever met who knew of him has said the same thing he didn't like me talking to or being around girls yes narcissist parents are extremely envious of their scapegoat child and any relationships or even friendships which they may have it's because the narcissist parent didn't meet as many girls as they wanted to at that age or did meet any it's because the narcissist parent didn't have many friendships at that age and felt alone and isolated so now any relationships or friendships you have will be met with hate anger envy and sabotage they will target your self-perception try to make you see yourself differently using devaluation tactics they will criticize the way you look the way you talk the way you walk how you dress anything you are interested in if you ask them what they actually do like about you they would struggle to name even one quality but you know what there are good qualities in every person so that is how you know that they are intentionally only looking for the bad in you they aren't looking at you from a balanced perspective so they could never see anything good about you even if they tried so they will target and distort your self-perception and only see what they want to see from a negative view they will also distort your perception of the people around you this could be other people in your family your friends or a partner anyone who likes to spend time with you is instantly devalued by the narcissist parent if they like you or want to spend time around you the narcissist parent feels like they are taking you away from them they are losing their pet their slave their primary source of narcissistic supply the narcissist parent does not want to share your attention and validation of them with anyone else they are also extremely envious of you having any friendships or relationships because of their post-traumatic stress response ptsr from when they were around your age anything you obtain which the narcissist parent felt limited in as a child or young adult automatically triggers their ptsr if the narcissist parent struggles to change your perception of the people around you and you continue to spend time with them they are left with only one other option to create a smear campaign the purpose of the smear campaign is to make everyone around you see you the same way that the narc parent sees you this is designed to isolate you and prevent you from establishing any new friendships or relationships this can have a highly damaging effect on your social circle and potentially the community in which you live in the smear campaign promotes narcissism not only will everyone see you the same way but everyone will soon begin to act in the same way as the narcissist parent it will seem as though everyone is developing narcissistic traits and unfortunately they are just ask yourself what kind of person will change their beliefs of you before you've even met they base their opinions and impressions of you from what they have viewed from the narcissist parent this means that they are fly monkeys apaths or enablers they enable the abuse and manipulation to take place it's all about isolation and prevention of financial resources the narcissist parent wants to keep you all to themselves forever and any awakened individual who tries to come between that will be devalued along with you the narcissist parent is an exhibitionist sometimes they want to be the star the center of attention other times they will want the scapegoat child to be the star and take all of the attention this isn't attending for the scapegoat child to shine though the narcissist parent wants to exploit and humiliate the scapegoat child the narcissist parent is laughing behind the scenes thinking yes now you know how it feels to feel like an alien isolated struggling now you have to experience everything I had to go through but for you it is a hundred times worse now I feel relieved from my post-traumatic stress of what I had to experience as a child they want to recreate all of the misery which they had to deal with just so they can watch the scapegoat experience it again and again their stress doesn't seem so bad now because what the scapegoat child is going through is far worse than anything the narcissist parent ever had to deal with the scapegoat slight has to appear worse to the narcissist parent so that the traumas from their youth doesn't seem as bad the narcissist parents behaviors stems from someone who never had a proper childhood and never had the chance to experience many relationships or friendships the narcissist parent likely struggled financially alone and isolated so now they want to take their most fortune out on their scapegoat child who could possibly grow up doing the same thing to their child it is a sick twisted thing to do robbing your own child's youth it's worse than any physical or even sexual abuse the psychological damage and effects on their life are far worse yeah you can heal from both physical and sexual abuse but this this goes on for life because it is an endless effort to stop you from healing the narcissist parent knows that if they stop abusing you or stop using their manipulative tactics you will recover eventually you will escape from their web of misery find new relationships and even have a career you will soon become a reminder of everything they never were everything and they never got to experience and that is just too much for the narcissist parent to bear i've noticed they never want you to leave the abusive situation they will give you what you need so that you can remain in the same circumstances giving them the opportunity to continue the abuse but they will never give you enough to leave if you are working or receiving money from somewhere and you do have enough to leave they will steal it from you or trick you into giving that money to them they will even put restraints on you to make it impossible for you to leave and they will give simulations and illusions of love as though they are given to you but the best way to know if you are dealing with someone that ever cared or loved you is to look at what they give to themselves and then compare that with what they give to you a narcissist will never want any form of equality in a relationship whether it's friends future relationships or material things you must always have less than what they have they will always be the priority and you will never be deserving of any equality for many victims this lasts for their entire lifetime it is their entire conscious experience all they will ever know their life to be once you become a teenager that is when the envy begins they get they didn't get the chance to meet girls or boys at that age it's when you do it's like how dare you how dare you meet those girls how dare you meet those boys i never got to do any of that when i was your age so you should not be doing it you should not be experiencing that from that point on they basically just want you to die because you have reminded them of everything that they never got to do the main reasons why they don't kill you is because they need you for narcissistic supply you are somewhere for them to dump their toxic shame to shift their blame and project insecurities you are their emotional punching bag someone to carry their emotional baggage which they are too weak to deal with honestly what the narcissist parent does is far worse than murder they are sick twisted calculative sadistic emotional predators everything is designed for you to fail and they will set a backup just so they can watch you fail again and again because they failed when they were around your age they messed up really bad and they never found a way to resolve those traumatic events so now it's your turn you must feel the pain the narcissist parent fell back then but you're not going to feel the pain just once no you're going to feel that pain and experience their misery every day for the rest of your life because anytime you are not miserable or failing is a reminder to the narcissist parent of all of the calamities they faced in their early lives and while all of this is happening to you the narcissist parent feels tears of joy thinking yes relive it for me so i can watch you suffer just as i once did but once is never enough for the narcissist parent it has to be done again and again with no end just as there is no end to their pain trauma or misery there will only be an end if they find happiness in themselves there will only be an end if they find truth in themselves but no they rather project their past traumatic experiences onto you they choose to project their emotions and insecurities onto you yes the ultimate example of a coward and while they're doing this they will still play the victim role while they abuse and manipulate you with no end they could be stabbing you with a knife while crying and asking you why are you hurting them that is how ridiculous their thinking is they live in denial because reality is too painful for them to accept the narcissist parent will tell their scapegoat child you are not good enough for anyone or anything but when they say this it doesn't say anything about you because they're just projecting how they feel about themselves they know that they're not good enough and that's why they cannot be their true selves so as you begin your path of bettering yourself and finding your true identity the narcissist parent cannot handle this they will tell you that the real you is fake that's not who you are you are the weak low confident person that they made you yeah that's what they want you to believe only you will know when you are on the right track and becoming who you really are and they will try to put you back in your place try to get you to be the person that they want you to be they feel more comfortable that way but you need to find the real you your true self develop your self-esteem self-worth and self-respect rebuild your boundaries and practice self-love rather than the self-hate you were taught as a child by the narcissist parent self-love is your greatest defense against the the narcissist parent thank you


The United States Navy and Major League Baseball Chicago White Sox celebrated a long-standing partnership on June 14th as the White Sox hosted their 32nd annual Navy Night. Rear Admiral Stephen C. Evans, Commander, Naval Service Training Command, issued the oath of enlistment to 82 Chicago area young men at U.S. Cellular Field prior to the White Sox game with the Detroit Tigers. The Navy's newest recruits form a division at boot camp sponsored by the White Sox and will display a White Sox flag during their eight weeks of recruit training. After swearing in the Navy's newest recruits, the Admiral moved to the pitcher's mound and threw out the first pitch of the game to White Sox pitcher Carlos Rodin. A perfect beginning to the game and perfect beginning to the Navy journey of 82 sailors. From U.S. Cellular Field, I'm Todd Willebrand.


Welcome to Mahasivarathri 2024. For thirty years ago, the Shivaratri night we have, we were little over seventy people and here we are after thirty years as probably the largest event on the planet. This is a rare moment of my life, an absolute privilege and honor to be part of Mahasiv 3 celebrations at Isha Yoga Center. These celebrations are unique, these celebrations are unforgettable. This is the moment I will cherish all my life. I'll carry this energy to be in service of Bharat Mata. The wonderfulness of life is not determined by what we eat, what we wear, where we live. How wonderful our life is determined by what's happening within us and this is a day. Let this night not just be a night of wakefulness, but a night of awakening. This is a blessing truly and I am very very happy to be here. I thank the Isha Foundation, thank Sadhguru and all the people who have organized this and given me this opportunity. The science that Adiyogi offered, yoga is not about bringing gods down. It is about raising human beings to their divine possibility. The grace of Mahadeva has been insesently upon us. So this cascade of grace, Adiyogi here, all of you intensely focused on this great night. We will chant Mahamantra. It's a day that is the most important day of the year and the only place I would like to be to be is the Isha Yoga Center. Today this is my first time at the Mahashe Vratri celebrations. It's been absolutely energy in the crowd and the air is just beautiful. It's surreal. So super happy to be here. This level of enthusiasm and aliveness, probably the only full night party on the planet without alcohol and drugs.


Down the long path of history, trampling across centuries and continents, and the graves of kings and the necks of dictators, seeking always a way of life where the people have their freedom, believing, praying, fighting, dying. We came this way. The NBC University of the Air, a public service feature of the national broadcasting company and its affiliated stations, presents We Came This Way, a new historical series for our listeners at home and overseas. With Clinton Utley as narrator, we present Chapter 6, the story of Giuseppe Garibaldi, the hero of two worlds in We Came This Way. There's a flame that has been burning a thousand years, or maybe a thousand thousand, and no one has ever been able to put it out. Kings and emperors and tyrants and despots and demagogues and dictators have tried to extinguish it. It burns more fiercely today than ever before. It burned in the souls of the men who went to Spain to fight on the side of the loyalists in 1936. It burned in the men who joined the Chinese when they stood alone against the Japanese. It burned in Benito Juarez, in Costusco, in Lafayette, in George Washington, in Abraham Lincoln, in the souls of millions who, except the gods, shall be forever nameless. And it burned in the soul of Giuseppe Garibaldi. He is an outlaw and a coutron. He's a pirate who knows who'll follow him by the dregs of the human race. He's an early tongue politician, if that's what you mean, but Garibaldi is no blacker. That's the way they were talking about Garibaldi in the diplomatic circles of Europe in 1860. They raised a rabble of a thousand bandits and they stayed out of Genoa to intervene in the Sicilies, is that enough? And under whose authority? He is an anarchist. The people of the Sicilies, as the island of Sicily and the lower part of Italy were called in those days, had risen against their bourbon rulers. In 1860, Italy was a house divided against itself. Some parts were ruled by Austria, some with a pope, and some by local princes. For half a century, the people of the Sicilies had suffered oppression under the bourbons. They had been deprived not only of their civil rights, but also of their human rights. Why was not Garibaldi stopped? He sailed with his ships out of Genoa inside of everyone. Everyone knows he's a desperado. The Sicilians have every right to help. I say he should be stopped. But the rule of the bourbons in the Sicilies is degenerate. Why, what right does he dare intervene? Fortunately, there's a regular force of more than 20,000 troops on the island of Sicily to face him, and many more on the mainland. Ah, he has been a notorious rebel all his life. Rebel. Mark that word. And Mark Husevich, a Prussian minister representing one of the most autocratic royal courts of Europe. In Garibaldi, he saw danger. In Garibaldi, he recognized that eternal something which since the beginning of history has inspired men to rise against oppression. If dreaming of freedom is being a rebel, then Garibaldi was a rebel. Italy can be a rebel. He said that when he was 27 years old. He was a sea captain, a shore at Tagongrov, Russia, on the Black Sea. If we can row with the spirit of young Italy, then unity and liberty are ours. Over coffee cups in the Padre Cafe in Tagongrov, he and a young Genoese named Cunio planned their part in the coming maternity uprising in Italy. Garibaldi, understanding the scene, would undertake to win over the male content in the plate of Genoa. Mr. Serti, you'll work with me, Cunio. The soldiers are following me. What fortune did you have? None. Did I look back? Do they know why you are here? They suspect. Were the men of the fleet to join us? No. They feel like we do, but they will not cry. The soldiers like gaming on us do not hurt. And the next corner, you will come to the dead. I will come to the right. Agreed? Agreed. Genoa was alert with soldiering. Martini's invasion has failed. Garibaldi cruelly walked through the street to the home of a fruit seller. His cousin's woman made his way out of Genoa beneath, from there to Marseille. And there, for the first time, he saw his name in the newspaper. Deceptic Garibaldi, who was implicated as one of the leaders of the abortiva uprising, has been outlawed from Italy and condemned to be shot. The warrant was signed by Charles Alder, king of Cadenia. Garibaldi shipped out of Marseille as a seamen under the name of Deceptic Panne. For two years, he dodged from port to port, clearly alluding the agents of Charles Alder. In 1836, he sailed to South America to Rio de Janeiro in Brazil. Why are you Italian to change? We are prisoners of the Portuguese. Why? I'm not talking from the God. Send back there! Send back! Garibaldi watched his countrymen being brought ashore under heavy guards from the Portuguese vessel. The province of Rio Grande de Lisboa was in rebellion against the Portuguese rule of Brazil and the flame within Garibaldi blazed. In the new world, men were fighting oppression the same as in the old. And those who fought it were in chains. Or, like him, were fugitives on pain of death. The Italian refugees who were not in chains and the sympathizers with the new republic of Rio Grande de Lisboa provided him with a fishing vessel. We would fit it out as a private ear. We would arm it with all possible guns and we would name it Maxime. Garibaldi with a handful of men with his non-descript vessels sailed down the coast. Hail, home! Hail, home! That is the coasting vessel. Overholly! Aye, sir. Make all clear! The carrier to Cargill of Posse had never supplied it. Garibaldi captured it without difficulty. We will take this vessel in place of ours. Transfer all arms and supplies from the Maxime to the Louisa. Aye, sir. Make plans to the Louisa. And plan for home! They sunk from the finish. And with the flight of the new republic of Grande de Lisboa flying from the Maxime to the Louisa they sailed to the River Plata. Their enemy, the Empire of Brazil. Hail, captain Garibaldi. Two launches off the port bow. Garibaldi raised his long blast. They are flying no flag. Finger length. Aye, sir. Give them the signal of the republic of Rio Grande de Lisboa. Aye, sir. They're not replying, captain Garibaldi. Break the arms out of the chest and stand by for it. Aye, sir. The two policy launches gored down on the Louisa. They're full size and ornament now visible. Whether there had been free men on each boat suddenly they were 30. All heavily armed. The two precision boats gored down the long sides and let go of fissile out against the Louisa. Get a boat. Garibaldi, Leon, punches on the deck for an hour while the battle raged. The precision boats hauled her off the feet of their deck lifted with death. Aboard the Louisa they were all so dead and many wounded. In his intervals with the lilias with the bullet in his neck, Garibaldi directed the navigations of the Louisa. Still greater trials lay ahead. Louisa was lost. But Garibaldi would not die. In the thundering hurricane, he tried to save comrades floundering in the water with him. They shined before his eyes. With a few naked survivors, he reached the shore. You are Garibaldi? Well, thank heaven you are safe. We are marching on the port of Laguna. There's a Brazilian fleet at anchor in the lagoon. A Brazilian fleet? But we hope to capture the city anyway.  We will go with you. We do? No, no, you are... We must not let the fleet escape. Come, my men! All of you! We will march on Laguna with the Republicans! And still bleeding, Garibaldi and his men joined the march. They stormed Laguna and took her. The Brazilian fleet surrendered and Garibaldi became his commander. They aboard his flagship, the Itabarita, Garibaldi sand the nearby hills with a long glass. Near the picturesque house, he spotted a young woman. Through his glass, he watched her. She was brave and gifted and courage in all the other things that he had yearned for. Load the gig! I'm going to charge! Alone, he made his way to the house where he had seen her. The place was empty. He walked from house to house, looking for her, but he found her nowhere. A native invited them to his house for coffee. And there she was. What is your name? I need to read that. I understand the Garibaldi. The statement Garibaldi had spread throughout the village. She stood there, her heart strolling in her throat. Frankly, the very hit extraordinary presence. A man of little height with broad shoulders and a square chest. A blonde, heavy mustache. A blonde beard ending in two points. A blonde wavy hair hanging down to his shoulders. Blue eyes, changing like the evening sky to barren. Thoughts went racing through her head. He stood there. He looked like a lion, a mountaineer that he took. In battle, she had heard, his eyes flashed and his blonde hair bristled like that of a lion. You said you liked her. I am sure. But he knew, as well as he did. But henceforth, they would belong to each other. He carried her off to his ship. They were married in Montevideo. They sent their honeymoon together and together, they committed their lives to the flames that burned within them both. Anita fought the sad Garibaldi in sea battle after sea battle. And when Garibaldi left the sea to command the guerrilla band ashore, she rode with him. Sometimes they rode alone. Sometimes with thousands. They carried their children with them on the road to their status. Sometimes they were separated. Sometimes seen. The real grandeur was being overrun by Anita. Grands had been scattered. Happy loss. Our fight can never be lost. But we must leave Rio Grande this year. We must leave. Yes. We will go to Montevideo. But we shall never give up. Our toxicity was riding high. But the flame that burned in Garibaldi burned in the souls of countless others in South America. The fight for Rio Grande's desire was lost. But the cause of freedom and liberty and justice was not lost. In Montevideo, Garibaldi learned the silence of Argentina was threatening Uruguay. And as he had committed his life, the fighting of oppression wherever he found it, he took up the sword against Argentina. Famous Italian legion of Redskirt. Italian patriot, adventurer, soldier's accordion would come to South America to search for and fight for that freedom which to them was greater than life itself. Inspiring Garibaldi. Redskirt for blood and sacrifice and freedom. Now, certainly that. A few men wearing red looked like many men, especially on the battlefield. And the color of red dances in the rifle-fighting enemy and makes them live. Are they not more visible on the battlefield? Yes. But the colors of in a Redskirt can be the retreat for height. And over Garibaldi's region of Redskirt posted a black flag with a volcano in the air. It is the symbol of Italy, mourning with that stateless flame of her heart. At the head of the Italian legion, with an impact aside, Garibaldi rode out to meet the enemy who were driving on Montevideo and overfell in force. Here we must pass the meeting here. You must go back to the village. Children are in good hands and much of the day. The enemy is closing in on us. My officers are waiting for me at San Antonio. You have stopped the enemy before it begins the month of the day. But this... I know Giuseppe, but I am going with you. Anita. Please. Then let us be going. General Gomez with seven squadrons of cavalry and a quart of infantry twice the size of Garibaldi's force bore down on the Italian legionnaires like a flood. The battle started back and forth. Garibaldi waited for each attack. Then counterattacked. Garibaldi's death were buried in a common grave atop a hill overlooking the battlefield. And over the grave, Garibaldi raised a cross with the words to the Italian legion and the native marine and cavalry. Montevideo was saved. But now a greater duty called him home. Once again, his people were rising. Again, the flame was blazing throughout Italy, throughout the peninsula the Italians were rising against their will. In Lombardy, Garibaldi raised an army of 3,000. With Anita at his side, he flung himself into the battle. The uprising was crushed and Garibaldi had to flee to Switzerland. But now the flame had stirred all Italy. The Romans set up a government of their own and words spread with the wind that Garibaldi was back. I demand the proclamation of a Roman republic. When it was reached Paris, then a French army was set against it. Sprinked by street, Garibaldi defended Rome. General Garibaldi, a message. I have no time to read. What did you come to stitch you on December? The assembly. Yes, yes, the members urgently require your presence at once. Garibaldi sprang to his horse, galloped across the Tiber and with his face drenched with sweat, his clothes covered with dust and blood presented himself to the assembly of the new Roman Republic. Only three choices are open to us. To surrender, to die fighting in the streets or to retreat to the mountains. We ask you, General Garibaldi, for your counsel. Surrender, I will not discuss. To die uselessly in the streets is folly. We will retreat. And take with us what is left of our government and army. Wherever we go, there Rome will be. Garibaldi walked out, mounted and rode back to his men fighting in the streets. We must fight our way out of Rome and marching to the wilderness. I offer you new battles and praise glory. I can give you no pain, no rest and food will have to be eaten when it can be found. Whosoever shrinks from these conditions let him remain here in Rome and surrender. Five thousand swore to follow him. Five thousand and Anita. Giuseppe, we will come back, Anita. We will come back. Where you go, Giuseppe? There I will go. But Anita was failing. With one devoted friend, Garibaldi carried her aboard a boat. But Garibaldi's force was shackled, his boat wrecked. He reached shore, carrying Anita in his arms. As he carried her into the house of a peasant, she died. You must bury her. I must go on. Alone, Garibaldi pressed on into the night. All that he had hoped for and fought for were gone. His beloved Anita and the Roman Republic. His name was reviled. He traveled to Tunis and was turned out. He traveled to Gibraltar and was turned out. He sailed to America and found Haven. In oblivion, he struggled as a workman. The flame flickered, almost out, but it still burned. It's time to die. These were his words. He was not to see his beloved Italy again for five years. He sailed from New York to Lima, Peru. Again became a sea captain. Sailed to China, to Australia, to England. And at last to Italy. Give time to time. He bought the northern half of the little island of Caprera off the coast of Sardinia. And there, with his motherless children, settled down, tended his goats till the soil and taught his children to read. Give time to time. The call came in 1860. The people of the Sicilies have risen against the Bourbon rule. They asked that you come and help them. Hey, same. I wish. The time had come for Garibaldi to strike out against all kings and dictators. All that he had experienced in the years of his struggles now became priceless. His buccaneering off the coast of South America, his guerrilla warfare in the pompous. While he fitted out a small fleet of boats of Genoa, Italian statesmen appealed to King Victor Emmanuel to stop him. Let him go. We will not help. Officially, we know nothing of his wild folly. And if we should succeed, then we shall be in a position to act as we see best. With arms and ammunition and supplies, Garibaldi and his thousands destined to become immortal in history. Sailed from Genoa for Sicily. He's an outlaw and a contraught. He's a pilot. You follow him or the drags of the human race. Why must he not stop? Fortunately, there is a regular force of more than 20,000 on Sicily to face him and many more in the mainland. To King Victor Emmanuel, Garibaldi left a letter. My sovereign, I embark on a perilous enterprise, but I put confidence in God and in the courage and devotion of my companion. If I fail, I trust Italy and liberal Europe will not forget that it was undertaken from motives free from all egoism and entirely patriotic. With his thousand red shirts, Garibaldi shaped his course from Masala on the island of Sicily. Thank you, my general. At Masala, Garibaldi and his thousands went ashore to be received with acclaim by the people. He turned fiercely. Garibaldi's armies swelled to 12,000 as he began his march on Palermo, the capital of Sicily. The heights of Cacolofimi are strongly held by the Neapolitan's, my general. We will storm them. Yes, sir. Your Majesty. Reports of the Sicilian campaign reached King Victor Emmanuel. Your Majesty, Garibaldi has taken Palermo. Against General Lanza? Yes, General Lanza surrendered after three days of fighting in the streets of Palermo. General Lanza had 20,000 well-trained and well-equipped Neapolitan troops. He surrendered them all to Garibaldi and Garibaldi is now driving across Sicily to the streets of Messina. From King Victor Emmanuel and his statesmen, Garibaldi received orders not to cross the streets and land on the mainland of Italy. But Garibaldi had had enough of kings and counselors. He landed at Milito and drove northward. Dr. Fortress fell before his onslaught. The retreating Neapolitan's are leaving great stores of arms and ammunition and supplies behind them. Take them all. We will use them. We must not lose the momentum of our drive. Led from Neapol's... To the wonderment of the entire world, Garibaldi took Naples, the capital of the two Sicilies, less than four months after he had landed at Massala. King Victor Emmanuel was now, indeed, king of all Italy. When King Victor Emmanuel came, Garibaldi went to meet him and let his red shirts in his acclimation. Garibaldi, the king is ignoring you completely. He does not see. But he has not even acknowledged that you... He's going to speak to me. I have come here to restore order. Your troops must be very weary. Mine are fresh. Your Majesty, I... He has slighted you, my general.  We will show Victor Emmanuel that we can crush him the same as we... No, no. Trust me. I shall do what is best. Victor Emmanuel, though we had been handed a nation by Garibaldi, could not at once appreciate the greatness of this indomitable warrior. When at last he did, he invited Garibaldi to ride by his side as he entered Naples. You shall be amply honored and rewarded, my dear Garibaldi. When the shouting had died and the Sicilies had been joined with the other parts of Italy ruled by Victor Emmanuel, the king summoned Garibaldi. He offered him the title Prince of Cattelathini, the rank of Marshal, the Grand Cross of the Initiata, pension of 500,000 francs. Garibaldi declined them all. I have only one request to make of your Majesty. I ask that my thousand red shirts shall never be forgotten and left to poverty. Then he went to his red shirts. You cannot leave us now, my general. We need you. Italy needs you. No. No. I shall go back to my island of Caprera to the quiet of my hills and valleys. My general. My... general. Thank you. My brother is in arms. You have done much with scant means in scant time. But more is yet to do. Farewell. And the flame blazed so that all the world was lighted with its deathless glow. Would you like to know more of the life and times of Garibaldi portrayed in the program you just heard? A handbook containing life stories of 13 great leaders in the struggle for human liberty and prepared as an interesting supplement to the broadcast series. To obtain your copy, write for We Came This Way. Address your requests to Columbia University Press, Station J, New York 27, and enclose 25 cents in coin to cover costs of printing and mailing. Tonight's script was written by Arnold Marquis and directed by Norman Felton. The original music was composed by Emil Sodastrom and conducted by Joseph Galicchio. It was the narrator and the role of Garibaldi was played by Wilms Herbert. Other members of the cast were Sidney Breeze, Helen Malone, Howard Hoffman, Jim Goss, Claire Baum and Kurt Kupfer. This series is presented each week as a public service feature of the National Broadcasting Company and its affiliated independent stations. Here is a message that concerns all able-bodied men between the ages of 17 and 50. Today, the United States is engaged in the greatest transportation job in the history of the world. The numbers of tons of cargo and troops must be transferred to the...