erritories Gaza yeah and the West Bank that's not good not good I have a good formula for our state now and geography creates a culture so there is a culture in the West Bank of Palestinians and there's a culture in Gaza of Palestinians and over time as I understand it Hamas came out of Gaza they certainly that's where their stronghold was they may have had some people in the West Bank I'm not sure but their stronghold was Gaza and and and like like any party at the beginning of a nation Hamas is a terrorist organization that does a lot of good and is a political party the same way that the Ergun when the when Israel was founded was a terrorist organization that did a lot of good the PLO became went from a terrorist organization to a political party people things do evolve I mean certainly Yuzhak Shamir and Menachem Begin were terrorists at one point absolutely the British had them on their on their list of most wanted absolutely and ultimately they evolved into world leaders and diplomats so people do that I mean there's certainly people who are in the founding of America who were considered revolutionaries and rebels and the British would consider them terrorists there's no doubt George Washington was considered a terrorist to the British he didn't fight fairly they hid behind trees they that's a fact they didn't go into field of battle and have this kind of kind of nice battle where we kill each other nicely and then you get off the field of battle and there's some kind of nobility involved or nobilities not the right word but the sense of like it's it's it's appropriate right right so I'm saying yes and things but that's where yeah and so is that history the history although we don't know if it's 93 or 90 our history we agree that from the mid to late 90s to the present that is the that's the situation right and also the east Jerusalem which you add into there which companies isn't that part of the west bank or not it's hard to say right now frankly I'm not really sure where it is yes it was contemplated that at one point that would be the capital of the palestinian state okay and explain the demographic nightmare the time bomb of of of what's going on in israel because after the catastrophe of 48 what's the what's the word nakba they call an arabic where they call it a catastrophe from the palestinian point of view it's a nakba from the Israeli point of view it's a day of of independence there were refugee camps set up after that in lebanon sure been there really yeah i'm in the sabr shatila really yes that's a whole okay hold on to the discussion that's another okay so there are palestinian refugees who spread out all over the middle east came to new jersey my dad came to bergen county new jersey of all the places yes like like seeds like like sort of holding up dandelion or so the lucky ones went to lebanon the unlucky ones had to go to new jersey it's a lateral movement lateral movement best for my dad going from for tour in middle east in new jersey so he was the first one who's found me to come here and then he brought the rest over like most immigrants down okay where are the refugee camps they're refugee camps in lebanon it's not like a camp like people think it's not tense and stuff we're not talking about what you're seeing now with the Syrian refugees in iraq or turkey especially turkey and jordan they're little community sabershetil is a thriving community with a lot of energy i mean their stores and people walking around it's not it's not this vision of a refugee camp of tense and people groveling for food on the ground okay there's a vibrant a little are they citizens of lebanon or are they my understanding no and they can't even get jobs unless no lebanese wants and if they get a job then the lebanese can throw them out of their jobs and they're identified as what then palestinians living in lebanon and were they were they put there after 48 or did king hussain of jordan send them there after what is it the black oh black septembers hold on my uncle's killed on that that's a whole different discussion there's too many topics here David why why where you're unpacking the entire you know it's all right my uncle was involved i'm doing a geography what i'm doing what i'm doing so my listeners know what so you know is people don't have a lay of the land right they don't see they don't they don't see the geography and without saying the geography they're not going to understand the situation you cannot understand we're talking about land we're you know it's two peoples fighting over a land so unless you can see the land and where the people are and why they are where they are you're not going to understand israel so so let me continue this interrogation sure but here's the thing i have no idea who was sent anywhere i can tell you in the case of my fiance that her family because they were in in what it was palestine but now israel proper hypha for generations when the war happened they fled to lebanon then they snuck back because you really couldn't sneak back if you had hypha hypha is by the sea it's it's it's it's on the western end of israel right so they snuck back because literally had to sneak back because if you had left you lose your land whatever you have it was taken by the new israeli government right so they were able to sneak back and then that's how come she was able she was ultimately born there you know decades later or something so um that's so no one told them to leave some were told to stay some were told to leave i have no idea what king was saying told i'm not sure you know i'm not denying behavior told them go there there's this kind of story told that the arab countries don't accept the palestinians because it's all some kind of strategy to destroy israel they don't accept the palestinians because they were taking the jobs away from the local people it's no different than america and donald trump telling the people unemployed in america you're losing your job to these people out of the country right jordan's done it i've been a jordan many times jordan's on its best now to embrace palestinians and have them become part of the fabric of their society it's really been great and queen ronius palestinian and king abdullo i've met it several times and i've been to the comedy festival in jordan for the king for like three years so you know i've been to jordan countless times it's different there they're doing it lebanon it's still a little bit backwards but the palestinians have gone everywhere and they've been welcomed and then thrown out in certain places after certain wars new jersey is a pretty good place are the palestinians their version of islam sheite suni no suni they're all suni that's the weird thing when iran helps hamas they they shouldn't be that's how desperate hamas is because these fundamental suni muslims don't like the shia they maxi they're going to kill them over their their sect of islam but they really have a different view of them it's not like in america where suni and shia i don't care i have friends who are shia that means nothing to me and that's a geographic thing suni is saudi arabia egyptian suni is almost all the muslim world shia has a very small sub sect predominantly in iran you've got parts of lebanon because hezbollah is there and you have other pockets of shia islam in iran in iraq you have some shia that's a big that's the biggest group right there that's when let's not change the conversation but when you get rid of a saying you've allowed the shias to get so so this gets back to what i'm saying Yemen, Bahrain, their shias saudi has some but it is geography it really is geography because the sunis grew up around saudi arabia that's where it emanated from there's no that's where it emanated from right the prophet muhammad that's where it emanated from and then shia was a split later on about who do you follow as the new leader of islam who's going to be the next you know caliph or the leader and that's Muhammad's brother or something the brother-in-law Ali the shia just means followers of ali that's the whole thing i mean and that's such a ridiculous thing well but it's geography because it it came out of persia which is far away right the shia no no no it's not they came out of the same place ali was there ali no he was the brother-in-law of prophet muhammad they were all in saudi this is a political thing this is they later divided and then the sunnis so how dare you shias have your own leader how dare you do this now it's in persia or oran it wasn't there then they were all together they were all in this little thing that you know then prophet muhammad dies and abhubakar becomes an x caliphate people like but ali should be it and they're like it should be not like a monarchy someone's like well that's like a monarchy but in order to select the person so but in order for my listeners to understand it it's a it is in many ways a geographic territorial which one the palestinian israeli conflict or the divisions within islam both i i'm not sure the palestinian israeli conflict is certainly a land dispute with religious undertones and overtones and but you can but saudi arabia and oran hate each other now that that's right this is all different because this is modern day because shia moved east they they have their realms because they have political disputes and they use religion just like the sunni leaders use it to oppress their people in other countries they use religion to divide each other and to rally around and that's why they're concerned about oran is in is imperialistic they want to export what they want as well as their buddy it works out great you have the game of thrones on playing out in the middle east like i've you've never seen before like siri is a horrible killing field because all these proxy wars going on there's very little part of me that actually believes that saudi and oran have promised because one is shia muslim and one is sunni they have promised because they both have different interests and they're using weapons to deal with those interests okay and they're fighting in yemen over the same thing yemen is a proxy war right now what's going on there were oran is supporting i think it's the houthis or marsha and the sunnis are in there and saudi isn't supporting them and yemen is attached is contiguous to saudi arabia and so the saudi arabians would want a sunni government and oran wants the shia government because it's more power it's more power this is their access to all political everything in the middle east is political religion plays a role but there are leaders in the middle east who use who will use islam to stifle dissent and say if you my friend bossam usif is a comedian he was the john strip the middle east and we're good friends you're just in town recently his whole story i i wrote about it many times the leader of is of each of the time morsey said you're making fun of me you've made fun of islam literally that was some of the charges islamic brotherhood muslim brotherhood yeah and making it so you're making fun of islam and he got arrested my friend it was detained for six hours ultimately released because he was famous so he was lucky if he wasn't now under cc who's very secular killing journalists just killing but you go to jail you're gone you make fun of the ministry you can't you're just gone it's it's i think potentially worse than brotherhood but i'm not sure because i didn't live there during that time these guys want power they'll use islam for power ices uses islam for power al-qaeda the biggest thing if anyone takes anything out of this conversation is that all of these groups use islam for their own benefit and for oppression for power for violence for terrorism and they will pretend it has to do with islam what it has to do with power the simplest thing so in america we're trying to believe that the split in the middle east is between secular government controlled by the military versus a free and open democracy which can only lead to religious oppression of one religious group over the rest that that in turkey and egypt we're brainwashed into believing and i believe this that you need the military in turkey and egypt to prop up a secular government because left to their own devices these people will always choose the religious mob they could they could i mean that we had in egypt that free election and they voted for the muslim brotherhood now my friends who live in kairu it's like red state blue states all my friends who live in kairu on the city all wanted the secular government they didn't vote for the muslim brotherhood you go to the rural areas and that's who got the muslim brotherhood when you choose the secular government you're choosing no i'm then this election was different this was an actual real election when they elected more that was a real election jimmy carter think was there this was a first and only probably fully fair election is in egypt's history almost and they chose the muslim brother that they did that and but if you did a map like an america red state blue state the cities were all voting for the other candidates who were not religious but there was more of the rural people in the red states the red part of the country who wanted this religious muslim brotherhood and the military as i understand it is against the muslim brother at first they let them have their government until things didn't work out and then ultimately they took power again and and the military to me egypt is using the turk the turkish model the ataturk model of the 1920s where you need a secular government propped up by the military to get rid of the religious influences is that a fair it's yeah but at the same time see we're not seeing this but cc will invoke islam for justifications for things i mean these guys all islam is intertwined in their daily life over there um it's it's part of their constitution it's part of who they are and so bill marr i believe we're getting back to marr well no no no no i'm talking about the brainwashing that goes on in the united states and part of my brainwashing is that you cannot bring democracy to the middle east this is the brainwashing i understand the it's it's ataturk we're not going to like the democracy they're going to have well it's gaza it's what happened in gaza hamas won they had elections in 2004 2005 in gaza and hamas won which is an extremist right almost like the muslim brotherhood i mean the muslim brotherhood gave us al-qaeda is that fair from my understanding yes they did the muslim brother today will tell you they're not a violent group at all they have nothing to do with violence but the ophthalmologist who was osama bin laden's business partner the hillman cohen who's the guy he's still alive um he's an egyptian doctor right i see him on tv all the time i can picture him with this turban and yeah i don't know but but he was bin laden's you know uh paul mccartney to his john lenin but they so they came out of the the muslim brotherhood uh in egypt right they were locked up by the the muslim brother i mean bin lad obviously came from saudi went to afghanistan fought there things didn't work out got really upset that there were you know western troops on saudi land and all that kind of stuff there's a lot going on there but the but the teachings the wahhabist teachings of saudi have had an influence in where we're going yeah and that we're we're the the saudis have exported wahhabist which is extreme it's not terrorism inherently it's not it's extreme form conservative form of islam where even islamic scholars have told me the best way of putting it that they are bringing people off into the doorstep of violence through the what they're teaching them there very us versus them mentality they exported that to build mosques in america the saudis they did in the 80s and 90s there's no doubt about it undisputed what do you mean they're funding it like people want to build muslims came here from other countries and there's no mod my dad when i was growing there were no mosques in our area so some people like we want to build mosques and someone would know from someone from saudis will give you the literally give you the money but then we want you to teach this conservative form of islam wahhabism exactly in your mosque in america that played a role in america at certain time there's a complete rebellion against that now i didn't know this yeah well that's why i'm here so most so i don't know most some mosques definitely were influenced by their the money was coming from saudis for wahhabists much more conservative and that's the kind of islam they want taught here because that was their view of islam it's not like the saudis think wow we're the most conservative form of islam no we're the right form of islam that's what they think and they want this form of islam taught everywhere that's their view like evangelical christian will tell you that's their view and disagree horribly will say a catholic who might be more like easygoing about stuff that kind of things um they they just view as the right form of islam the only form not right let me understand this about 300 years ago the saud family made a holy alliance with the wahhabi sect of islam in saudi arabia as a form of control right that's what it seems like so wahhabism was a partnership between the the saudi royal family to stay in power to stay in power and because wahhabism is a very oppressive form of the religion is i it's very certainly very extreme i can tell you that i mean they justify women not being able to drive they're the only muslim country that does that of 50s plus it's just insane stuff so the saudi family was able to keep its power with its own police and a religion that policed its own right yep using religion people in power using religion to stay in power the saudi's had a lot of money because of oil and about 300 years ago do they have oil in i'm not i'm talking about like in the past 100 years so when you have muslims coming to america they need mosques it just so happens that saudi arabia has so much money because of oil 80s this is actually what this is about 80s and 90s they were building mosques you know they were funding it and then my understanding was it the bin laden construction family it very well could have been but i i don't even know i'm not saying it is or it isn't but very well could have been who knows wow and they were funny so they would say and this was told to me by moms who were around at the time that the Saudis want okay we're going to give you the money you build this beautiful mosque people like oh this is great but we want you to have clerics who teach this form of so do we know how many shia mosques and how many suni mosques are in the united states i don't know if anyone's ever done that breakdown solely overwhelmingly suni i mean the shia's just a minority it's a minority part of islam um i don't know but it's going to be much smaller i but as i understand that islam a suni i'm pretty sure if i remember correctly it might be around there i'm okay it just comes to my 90 i could be wrong but i usually go to the trigger something like 90 i think that's right i'm not all right so a one state solution in israel would the fear that my generation has is gaza egypt morsi erdogan in turkey who kind of runs counter to otta turk right he's a little bit more religious now it seems they're having more he was very secular at one point seems erdogan has moved over and when they had that little coup he appealed to the religious people to come out in the streets again using religion for power this is a theme that i saw people well anything they think about the use of islam to keep power or take power is over and over and over again and it's accepted by people not for that part of the world because they're used to that you know the same way the crusaders use christianity to try to take land and take control well so i mean how how different is it when you see so it's not about religion religion is the rallying cry religion is the thing that religion is so powerful people give money for it they will give their life for it they will kill for it they will do horrible things the name of it all thinking they're doing something good when i was reading this really good book about the crusades i think it was pope urban who his rallying cry to christians the godly pope urban only lives in the country that's it he was the irony but when you read his plead to christians to go to crusades it's not they called the muslims infidels i mean that's where this term comes from infidels comes from them right if you are not a christian you are an infidel you are non believing christianity to go there hit the speeches you read and they were translated in this great book almost no different than the ices rallying cry right we're being a prayer they're taking our people we have to go there they're killing christians we have to go there and do this stuff it didn't matter what was really going on there was no internet there was no even news people like oh my god that's horrible let's raise money because pope urban needed the money and needed the power religion is used for the worst thing which i think religion can be great i like religion i actually think religion me too at its best brings out the best in people like when it's done unless your religion is really bad but if your religion is like about doing good things it's it's great um it's unfortunate is so how do you see a solution if you were oh in the middle east conflict palestinians really conflict i mean you know i think a u type of thing a federation i i think you can't even divide the land up anymore i don't even know how you do that there's too many settlements are you talking about israel israel palestinic i don't know what you can do i mean you can label some part of it palestine and in between you have israeli settlements and then you're like here palestin here's your land and it's it's these little you know like batastan's like there's a little sovereignty and it's not a contiguous state or do you do a federation and go look where israel and your palestine loosely we're going to have some common parliament we can elect people to that and so i'm i'm thinking out of the but i'm just trying to get out of the box because two states was what i was advocating forever like i don't know what people ask me all the time i go i have no and i have no answer anymore i have no clue what the answer is i don't think one states answer but two states i don't think practically be the answer so we have to think beyond that i mean with trump's like everyone who gets a state here you got to say two states where everyone you're in state you want your those eight million states it's gonna be huge trump film you know like my little condos that's what it seems like which i'm like you want a state you got two i don't care whatever state eight hundred thousand states why two three states like iraq why don't they just make a three separate states for the iraq yeah i think they effectively are aren't they and some level i mean i'm not sure but certainly courage of their own no one's going to Kurdistan and telling the Kurds what to do they got their own thing up there right and the she has to do their thing and as soon as they're look the middle east was drawn by western powers after war one and go here's this here's this here's this enjoy yourselves have fun this should work out well you know watch Lawrence of Arabia watch the very end with you know psychs and pico sitting there like we're dividing up the middle east but Lawrence of Arabia's Lawrence like i bet i told these guys they have their own sovereignty is like i shut up sit down right so the the middle east is not organically people coming together there are tribes of people living around this area and now it becomes a Saudi now it becomes a Jordan for transjordan and Jordan it becomes here's Palestine here's israel it's again the western powers going we're gonna have israel here now well intention after the holocaust makes complete sense i get it but without any regard for the indigenous people in all these places we're gonna here's lebanon let's draw it up here you have christians and muslims there they're not getting along did they even know that did the western powers that drew up lebanon even know that i have no idea i just don't know wow this is so interesting we had dan pasturnak on we know that name he's a network executive but one of the good ones all right he's how we only no because i have to go do comedy in your comic book at five o'clock i'm doing this first spot dammit i told him but no we don't like an hour and 15 minutes this is like the longest usually you get like a water break and call my lawyer after this point this long of interrogation how much time do i have with you like like well five or six because i'm like usually the first spot the show started five okay you know what the problem is we're on central time oh that's why i that's we never move the clock i honestly oh my god you actually thought that was but we've been here since i know but he didn't put he's supposed to say chicago oh and so it's not my fault alex it's always your fault all right then you'll you'll come back sure not after the show i got this but yeah i will come back another day we can mean scott or if you want to have a thing if you're in if you're daring enough i what and to have three like my friend may soon as i is a comedian very funny yeah um she's more she's more to the right than i am i'm left right what does right mean i'm liberal in everything she will give you views on she goes to west bank every year she runs a camp for disabled kids she has cerebral policy she will give you things that are going to upset people who are supportive israel they've never heard these stories i can assure you what everything she's saying is true but her opinions are definitely skewed much more she doesn't she believes in two states too but she doesn't believe it's ever gonna happen now so um i'm progressive in everything like i'm a true progressive i know progressives who are progressive in everything except for israel palestine and they their views change there maybe a little more hawkish or something bizarre way way to the left or something um i'm pretty consistent on my views but you can have her i'm treating another one whoever you you bring you bring it as george w bush said bring him on bring on and and you can generalize and i think your listeners will be challenged and hopefully informed and some might even be enlightened or at least some might be more questioning it's not it's not that it's the way it's sold to us a lot of times but you know my goal is trying to figure out ways that we can somehow live together yeah can i i'm gonna say something because i'm gonna let i'm gonna let you go i'm gonna let your people go right but and then you get the last word and and by the way thank you we didn't get to the stuff about trump it's about trump and this is what i want to end on trump and then you get the last word we both grew up in bergen county i'm the grandson of four immigrants who came to america and when you come to america you're supposed to leave it behind otherwise go back there human nature is to bring our grudges with us our grudges unfortunately define us but part of the american experience is leave it behind fresh start this is new the sin that trump committed the unamerican sin that he has committed is to dredge up the grudges and the resentments and it is the worst thing he could do you and i are americans and the role of americans is to be a beacon to the middle east to say how come a jew and an arab can get along so well in the united states there's something wrong with you look how well look look at all the look at how all the arabs in america are welcomed they're not terrorists there's no home grown islamic american terrorists there's white christian right we've had some some terrorists though but because of what we're doing because of what we do overseas that's the round that's not because of what we do yet right to muslims in america they're doing it because of what we're doing overseas after 9 11 they said to us i remember reading this the difference between america and europe is the muslims have been absorbed into the country that's very very true and they'll never be problems in america the way they have in england and france because muslims are not considered second-class citizens in the united states what trump is doing is he's creating homegrown terrorists last word i have to say that i agree with you that donald trump is destroyed what i think is the promise of this country which makes this country special the idea that it's welcoming regardless of your background your religion your race your ethnicity that donald trump is pitted people against each other in a sectarian form the same way i've seen middle east leaders do similarly do with the same power and keep control by turning religions on each other and saying we're the right religion they're not when donald trump said we're going to let christian refugees in and not muslims that is the mirror of what an isis person would say about you know the christians want to kill you and they're bad and the muslims are the ones we have to protect and it's stunning and it's scarier that so many americans i don't mean just in the election i mean opinion polls that almost half of americans agreed with a muslim band and i'm not talking about GOP voters i'm talking two-thirds of GOP voters agreed with the muslim band the overall muslim band almost half the time trump was talking about it sometimes when americans get afraid i think we lose our values at the end i think those good people will come back to it but trump is on earth something in this country that we have lost our standing in the world and it's a challenging time it's a challenging time i i i don't want you to go i want to stay i'm being pigished i just want to say one more thing and i'm sorry i thought i had the last word david i know you get the last word we're both from bergen county new jersey we both grew up with an immigrant community that could not shake its prejudice but we grew up at a time when you kept it to yourself you didn't celebrate your prejudice you didn't celebrate that when you went to school when you went to the public schools you were told to take your religion and shove it up your ass i don't care if you're christian muslim or jewish keep your effing religion out of the classroom and your prejudice it doesn't belong here and the country is changing for the worse and we have to stop it keep your effing grudges and your religious beliefs to yourself right you get the last word i promise i'm i'm getting and grab up the shop i think i know i i think the idea that all i could say is tearing people tearing americans apart and pitting each other groups against each other is something that i've seen when i've gone to the middle east and it's not something i ever expected to see in the united states of america by someone who's running for president and then ultimately became the nominee of a major party and then became president of the united states so if people know history and what donald trump has done in destroying credibility so much with the media although we had questioned before but the media then intelligence agencies and now congress is turning on when you go to the middle east the only thing they trust is the military and are we going toward a military coup that what is what is the groundwork that is being laid is for that right now and i have to be honest it's it's scary where we could go because i've seen in the middle east and i hope we don't get there i hope there's enough people in the military or we would not be trump supporters to listen to him and the only difference between the middle east and the us on this point is that trump didn't point his son or son-in-law to be the head of the military that's what you would see in syria in those countries if we had that we'd definitely be going towards a military coup luckily they're cowards the trump kids they would never serve america you're a lawyer the first amendment the genius of the first amendment is this if you really because that's the establishment clause the the genius of the first amendment is this you're free to say whatever you want the establishment clause is freedom of and from religion right so it's the built into the first amendment is freedom of speech that also says go believe whatever you believe but shut the f up about it shut the f up about your god damn religion that would be almost consistent with the first amendment but i know you're getting it it is the first amendment is freedom of speech and the establishment right well the establishment clause is not to establish religion the congress should establish no religion which means freedom from religion if you want to believe that sure i i think that church and state there should be a line i think there should be an absolute wall between religion and state i don't think any text of any religion should be used for laws and any in america but that's different but all right we'll give you this conversation i look forward to it i have to go make 12 people laugh at the five o'clock show at uh near your time well you just made 12 people think on my show i'm sure you have more than that we have a call here from philadelphia mr jk hello you're on with david feldman so thank you so much for taking my call to be before we talk about anything else can i set the stage sure it's 1959 i just am about to fight england bergman what can i middleweight bat kate smith would like to send the national anthem and somebody in the audience tells that kate smith is a fat fucking whore and he now says but nonetheless yes sir uh i don't like it i told him that joker one this sounds very familiar i i kind of know this voice i just can't seem to place it so david can i tell you about this event in philadelphia oh it's bill cosby it's bill cosby on the line from philadelphia how's the trial going so far so good this is a trial trial by era this dr catz dr catz is on the line how are you sir it's good to hear your voice yeah so this so this event is to raise money for an organization called art well they do wonderful work for kids young men and women having to do with uh they use art as their tool to help kids who are this is what matters is all kids are at risk for wonderfulness ah yeah so this is an event on may 7th at the philadelphia punch line hmm you need me to show up and kind of can i can i be on it yeah i'd love for you to be to me for you to be one of my guest patients wow and i need a couple i need a couple more if you have any ideas well nobody's sicker than i am so it would be dr catz helping me deal with helping you deal with what else you wow i would love to do that so it's a may 7th in philadelphia at the punch line and it's to raise money for art world dot org art world dot org so actually you know if you want to find it online it's called the art world dot org phd the art world dot org i'm sorry say that again the art world ph e a r t w e l l the art the art world dot org and it it's a benefit for children at risk in philadelphia and it helps them heal themselves through art they use art as a tool not simply use music as a tool or this is their specialty and they train other teachers in the in the use of it all began on my daughter julia wrote this paper about the art of growing up and that became the curricula at this curriculum at this place your daughter what does she do she's the program director of art world ah well i am on i'm telling you that that's certainly a coincidence why it would be an honor to oh last year they honored despite grievous i guess the runner we're going to need to find somebody who is we're going to find somebody else uh who else is on the bill so far but can we be named uh chanel james okay good wonderful yes and if you don't know who she is you will soon because chris rock is developing the series winner well and chris rock and chuck's law are developing it great do you know chuck i know chuck sclar of course yeah i'll see you may seventh at the punch line in philadelphia yeah what night of the week is it sunday night let me let me see if the dog let me ask the dog i doubt he can do it but maybe if i pick him up i'll ask the dog jonathan cats how do people reach you sir they can't and nobody can remember my wife is in front of me for 35 years i just keep people i just keep people at arm's length is it true your parents were communists yes well you know communists like they left me everything anything you left my parents online and on the fji website so that flood that destroyed all the family photographs you can just go to the fji through the freedom of information act but that's great what are we gonna do about the sad state of our country we're going to embrace it and know that this is a great opportunity yeah i mean i think as long as you're not black mexican arab female gay uh poor transgender transgender part of the 99 percent i think this is our finest moment you know it's you know it's on when i was younger my hero was the cisco kid and now it's al franken mm-hmm he is one of my heroes now he's definitely the funniest guy in congress james inoff is pretty good oh yeah yeah he's pretty funny he was the one who brought the snowball onto the well of the senate and said i don't see no global warman and i know so little about anything except uh except me you should do a podcast the way i do i don't know anything either and they have a very well-informed guy and i'm guessing you have many sources of news i get all my information from the artificial hip that was implanted in my brain i don't know what i'm talking about an artificial too hip for the room jonathan cats thank you for uh i'll see him i'll see you may 7th at the punch line in philadelphia yeah i'll i'll follow up with an email okay that'll be great thank you so much thank you okay bye bye okay please welcome the music of the insecure morons when i see someone i know walking beside me on the street i only use my peripheral vision and walk the other direction with my feet because the last thing i want to have happened is some sort of awkward social interaction even if it's someone i like even if it's someone i really ought to talk to because i do terribly in most social interactions i just you know i can't i can't get any uh i can't get i can't get traction what do i say i just met you at the spa and i'm already saying weird things to you i just heard myself say where are you from like a town i don't know i love towns oh god jeez i just heard myself say i don't know if genders fluid i think it's more liquid where are you from again i just heard myself say no no no i'm not on instagram i'm on lexapro i just heard myself say i have this weird thing where i was rude for the bad guys and not in the movies in real life i just heard myself say everything gives me gas everything gives me gas everything gives me gas i just heard myself say well duh life is transient and glories and illusion when i go to the barber making small talk is tough what is there to talk about beside my unrelent and then dream i sit on the subway oh i always wear my headphones if you ignore the urine smell it's almost like you're home alone yeah when i go to the bank i always choose the atm but they'll be coming i have to be compelling with them and i do terribly and most social interactions i met you and i can't oh i already forgot the word i can't get i can't get traction i just heard myself say i don't want a name drop but i'll betty white block me on twitter i just heard myself say two truths and a lie harry ron her my knee i just heard myself say no i didn't mean like a guy in college i meant like a guy an ecologist yeah i just heard myself say what's that smell is that blood i hope so maybe i just heard myself say no my pin number is five five two one you think that's good what do you think about that i wouldn't tell people that i just heard myself say i mean technically speaking nine eleven was an outside job you look in my eyes and you realize i wish i was dead and i look in your eyes and i realize you wish you were dead too should be to shoot scooby-doo max azulay hello and alex mullen good don't confuse me are the insecure morons you can see their work on the huffington post or funny or die they do non-musical sketches as well very true and you guys are really great i've seen you with scott regowski and alex where you from i'm uh i'm from south of boston and max where are you from i am from just north of the city uh hastings on hudson oh yeah near scott we're getting near where scott is from uh so if you pick up a similar vibe that could be it or just the word jews and scott blakeman is also from hastings upon hudson i don't know scott blakeman but i i imagine he is it's beautiful up there it is it's very nice it's on the river i've been many times it's very nice yeah it's right up on hudson i performed with nancy jiles there it's gorgeous oh well and it has such a nice name to it Hastings upon hudson yeah it makes me want to eat like bread pudding yeah and ice cream and smoke dope and drink white wine and have unprotected sex that's what's going on up there it is i mean it's you nailed it you know the name max azule makes me want to do that as well how'd you guys meet we uh we attended college together we did went to occidental college in los angeles i know occidental college very well that's where the president of the united states spent his first two years yeah exactly got out of there it's true he left running when things are getting serious to be clear which president too it's not uh so president obama it is president obama yeah we met in college we were both film majors both studying uh the art of film uh and uh alex is making a short film a thesis film uh and ultimately what it was turned out to be was me in my underwear uh it was like a five ten minute film right yeah it was a long one it was me in in tidy whiteies as they're called as the kids call them and it was called dissatisfied man alone in a studio apartment and i read the script i said i have to do this this is this is born you read the script and you have to do i have to do this so many scripts are coming your way yeah well i didn't do my agent has said he i should i should really look into it uh he was 12 at the time um no but i wait i did i did the movie ten minute uh film in my underwear and uh and then it ended up being projected in front of our whole class the whole school just a giant version of him in his underwear close-ups on like a movie you're describing it as a series of pictures that create yeah so when did you guys graduate 20 11 2011 all right i was living in oh yeah we live together in in los angeles uh huh wow i know a couple of professors at occidental who do you know well we just had lisa wade on the show who wrote a book called hooking up where she studied you guys hookup culture hookup culture you know what i'm talking no no but i i can imagine do you know professor i don't know what it should do you know what she taught i mean hooking up it's an actual class at parties she was great she told me what class yeah she held a class she is living in new orleans right now but she teaches at occidental and she has written a book about the hookup culture which you guys were a part of we sure were barely and she studied you and she studied you how did she study occidental students or she studies the that generation of yeah yeah yeah surveys and like me she's a peeping tom did field research looking field research you walked around yeah just looking through the winter and uh so you met at occidental we we hooked up there one could say what'd you major in we both majored in film alex majored in film and max major in major in film so you both let me let me just see if i can deduct let me just figure this out yeah you guys both majored in close you were so close to us major in film it's true now they don't use film anymore do they no and that's why we did we didn't graduate because we because we were confused we you know no no no we we major we shouldn't say film they call it cassettes yeah lisa wade major in film but they don't make they don't make movies with film i mean we didn't use film no i shouldn't have said film but we they this it was called film although they did change the name of the major to media arts and gender something i it's true no i swear to god it is the guy who took it over had forced his uh you know ideology onto the department this is very true it couldn't be more academic i mean it is film history and filmmaking and now it's uh like studying gender studies through film or something okay so it's like lisa wade got in there yeah wade hooked it up 2011 the year of our lord yes all right i can i want to talk about hooking up the hooking up culture we could do that i want to talk about movies i want to talk about student loans student debt social media and why the conservatives are really right about college because your parents sent you off to occidental yeah it's a private school it's not a public college i sent my kids to you know Berkeley it was part of the uc program right you were living in l at the times yeah i wasn't going to spend money on a private college like i was that sounds a lot wealthier than i don't have the money where'd your kids go Berkeley well i don't like to talk about them but but you brought them up yeah my my one of my kids went to Berkeley and the one who recently graduated went to a very uh even more liberal college and i don't want to say the name well he went to uc santa cruise oh well and now he's out of the country thank god because what they teach you at santa cruise leave well i don't want this kid around when trump is president right i have a feeling it's either germany law i just think it's germany or gitmo for this yeah those are the choices you see gitmo he did go to cuba as a matter of fact recently right before obama lifted this and i just said to him don't go don't go please don't go no i have to see it it's a socialist eat and i want to get there before the capitalists destroy it right and so i you know i stalk him on facebook that's how you find out about your son and i why he's there with he's there with three beautiful women hello he's i see pictures of him swimming in the bay of pigs with three beautiful women and i'm not you know if you're the deal is hi cassey the deal is with parents you're not supposed to comment on facebook you can be their friends but you're not allowed to talk to them and uh i see him with these three beautiful women and barely i don't even know what they're called they weren't bikinis and i wrote uh how's that exploration of a socialist even going for you so he unfriended me oh wow and i went a year without getting to talk we're talking about my son cassey grimaldi hi cassey grimaldi that's me hello hello good to meet you brilliant oh jeez is a she writes and produces and has been published i'm going to embarrass you okay great i'm embarrassed because she usually doesn't like to talk about this no and it's you're all going to be impressed when i mention this okay all right i'm ready all right she brought down flight 106 wow over egypt in 2004 what happened so modest jeez i don't like to talk about it i mean somebody had to intervene she's been published in new yorker that's a big thing that that is a big thing yeah i guess so um and you're and you're a brilliant comedy writer and a producer and you don't really perform no i don't i hate it i feel like my body is collapsing in on itself i've tried it yes and that is a great virtue that alex brazil has that's why i fell in love with alex brazil when alex came to me and said he produces shows and manages and i said do you perform he goes no and i said please take my hand in marriage i dropped to me it's amazing it's amazing that just that lack of neediness too or something about it's it's appealing i'm glad i'm so appealing to all of you it's very appealing so kassie so yeah produce shows over the creek in the cave tell us some of the shows you produce so we know to suck up to you okay so i produce a show at the creek in the cave called creek bros it's like how i started producing um stand up and i produce a show called rent party at union hall and then i produce another show called bitch party party theme just i love to party point blank um they've been you called five bucks rock ship so yeah i book and produce them and make sure everything goes right and then i produce tv shows i guess whenever i get hired to do so so and you're a great producer i've worked with you thank you you are you are you're you're very calm and you don't panic that's um i don't know how true that is but you have excellent taste in comedy thank you and you know that it all turned out okay yeah i try to have that attitude what about you guys hi i'm sure you guys already did so in in a crisis you're you're cool uh i guess so i i think i project that on the outside world but um inside not so much maybe but i'm glad that everybody got that impression that's a huge skill for a producer director to to make people feel like nothing's wrong that it's all gonna be okay even if you're not feeling it have you met the insecure morons have you met us oh you no i haven't well these here we are insecure these are the insecure morons okay this is alex mullen to my left and this is max azule how are you nice to meet you nice to meet you one of them is jewish oh jeez the pop quiz here we go look at look at alex mullen this is alex mullen and one is max azule so i'm going to ask you three times during the show okay i'm first i'm just first snap impression yes and then a little bit of knowledge and then yeah and then know by the end and then what's your final decision of who's jewish of who's jew so this is alex mullen say hello alex hello there hey alex and this is max azule say hello shalom okay you threw this is interesting i couldn't be on throwing you off we don't know we don't know this is a game show that i love it this is let's pitch this i i'm ready i have it who's the wheel they've already done that on saturday or not a jew that's an snl sketch but not with us but now it's never been done with us but i pitched a sketch to the guys at snl jew or swede because like engmar bergman is he swedish oh because of the the man suffix yeah that's right that's right there are a lot of swedes that's interesting bergman is just two suffix so what would that sketch be it would be it would basically be a ripoff of it would be the exact same sketch but with sweets with sweets interesting i like that okay sweet into the mix okay okay this say hello alex hello alex that's alex mullen and that's max azule yep just snap impression who's the jew and no i'm not going to tell you whether you're right you're wrong i think it's max just because i feel like you said this is max that's max okay so okay i'm gonna come back to you that's it i say nothing it's got a semitic air to him okay then then later in the middle of this segment i'm gonna ask you and then okay great that'll be great great so yeah so you produce shows and you're and you're very calm i yeah i try to be yeah and what did your parents say this is i'm not trying to embarrass you okay i'm not trying to embarrass you okay but of course not what did your parents say when you called them and said that flight that i that was i what did you what did your parents say when you got published in the new yorker they the their first question was if i got paid really also the first question after the flight and bringing it down yeah yeah if i was paid and if there are benefits do they really say that yeah i guess that's a good question if you're i guess that's why you're funny that they would ask those not that's fantastic that's incredible nobody gets published in the new yorker that's amazing i don't know i don't think do you mind if i ask you these questions no it's okay totally they're very practical yeah i guess uh i don't think they really like my dad has had the same job for like 35 years so was this a shouts and murmurs piece it was yeah your dad had the same job for 35 years he's the green river killer in seattle yeah good work consistent work it's the career yeah 35 years yeah okay so yeah but i mean i would assume they know that being published in shouts and murmurs is not winning the lottery it's not luck but it's like no nobody gets published in shouts and murmurs right um i don't think they did know that i don't think they really get do they read the new yorker no i don't really wow no they don't live in new york uh they're smart they like listen to npr i don't like to think that like people who like wouldn't i don't read the new yorker really i read it i read it you write it i no but i i read like pieces of it i'm sure they've i'm sure they're familiar with it i don't know i just don't think they really get what i'm doing okay like they don't get that you don't really get paid to do comedy how does it feel to be published you know hosay you know i don't know if you know who hosay or royo is he's there's a brilliant comedy writer there i always say there are two people who threw osmosis also jim there are a couple people but one hosay or royo is one of those comedy writers you just be around him and then you learn how to think differently how to think i learned how to think in visual puns by hanging out with him he great writer who writes on kona now he took up cartooning oh well and suddenly his cartoons were in the new yorker he just picked it up later in life is a he decided he had a cartoon in him and he started cartooning and got published printed what do you what do you i don't know what it anyway you got in the new yorker well it's great i wish i could cartoon yeah so it gives you the seal of approval i think internally i think it's why it was like extremely validating yeah and i had been i like right before it i it happened i had been dating a comedy writer who really really wanted to get published like get a show published and we both did and i it was very important to me that i got it first which i did so like it was extremely you get it before you broke up no after so like double double whammy double feeling great very validating i'm happy yeah what was the time period between your acceptance and his acceptance and who got first he still has not been accepted oh oh he i thought you yeah he's he'll never be accepted we know it oh i i misheard you i thought you both got i mean he's doing fine he's got a he's got a late night job he's okay but but you janitor he's the shouts and murmurs of janitors he's actually just that's great and for one second all right it's so great i'm with the nbc late night program they're they're training me to be a janitor it's great yeah is that been done already just make that up i i read it i don't know i saw in shouts and murmurs what do you mean that that's a great joke really good joke great joke publish me give me benefits well that's great because i i cannot tell you the number of times i've been sitting on the subway and hearing people go well i'm applying for the nbc late night program and as somebody who's you know there's i have i go f you know we didn't have late night program yeah i was a kid yeah we were pages yeah we were we slipped jokes underneath the door not i was never a page but so no no that was true no no but we slipped jokes under the door we didn't have a program to learn how to do this stuff you just were desperate and frightened and beaten but now they have programs that you apply to and then they but so that's a great joke the late night i'm curious that your parents wanted to know if you got benefits for one piece like that seems rather rash they're like yeah i don't know how that would work in like from like an administrative point yeah they write the benefits i don't know i think they're fair i think it's really important to them that i am stable and i don't think i will like ever be stable so like they're i don't know like i said he's been working at the same job for 35 years and i don't know they want me to have a say you are stable i guess so i'm not homeless i think it's a generational difference of you know like no one has the 30 year one company yeah or that's like a they you know that generation might not necessarily understand it's just changed and we accept that as a good thing but it's wrong it's just greed yeah it's a form of control to tell people hey you're not going to have a job for 30 years anymore that ship has sailed and by the way you won't have health insurance i don't mean to get political on you but this is no i totally agree this is this is you have 20 families in america controlling half the wealth and until you guys under the you're all under the age of 30 right oh yeah okay so you guys very young you got to wake up man thank you really do and you got to understand that you're being controlled by literally 20 families who are telling you get with the program the idea that you're going to have a job at the same company for 30 years that's gone and health insurance your employer provides that with you so you better just be a slave dentured servitude yeah so get with the program so this is the same as what our parents all this is the same conversation you had with your parents uh yeah i was like you guys got to wake up now they're right you have a job for 30 years there's no need i don't know if i'd want to have the same job for 30 years but um what do you want to do what do i want to do i don't know i i don't know i think happens i think the form of control that my generation has put on you is we don't pay you right we don't give you health insurance we don't give you jobs we give you the lottery ticket to become the next zuckerberg or seth rogan or judd apatow we say to you okay you're going to you're really going to suffer all of you but one of you will take one of you into the richest little bit of yeah one of you can enter the kingdom of heaven the rest of you are serfs stressful yeah well it's like the silicon valley genius idea is the destruction of yeah like union and like you know standard pay and that's like the genius that came out of silicon valley and all those uber and all those short-term working things it's not innovation that's just exploiting the work but anyway well the revolution will be podcasted thank you i guess so i don't know there's like also that mentality in silicon valley where they like because they rely on like venture capitalists and stuff they can fail and not face any repercussions and you're answering to a venture capitalist not to your customer yeah great okay who do you think's the jew now i would still save but he had a rant a bit of a i what he just said makes me think he's a jew i think maybe does this end well don't answer for her don't you explain that it's so yeah that would also back up my argument that it's still max thank you okay he got round number two yeah i'm sorry what are the other other other tests or is it just all like so just her her judar she has judo i do have good judo i have one of us lactose intolerant or something yeah neck can we please have some milk milk alix do you want to do a little your Torah portion though uh yeah a little bit just the just the segment the good part the one we practice you do realize that if she gets it right she gets accused of being an anti-semite you're too good yeah wow so we were talking before you showed up cassie we're talking about they went to occidental college oh i don't really know what that means well from context clues can you guess well i don't have any context yet but tell college part what it means what you don't know much about the school no was it named after the hammer the guy arm and hammer the guy owned occidental oil it could have been you don't think so it definitely wasn't using the name of the college accidental i thought occidental was like an adjective it is it is it is okay but it's also the name of the school that we we like question it we met at and yeah it's it's in la it's in eagle rock uh california it's a great great it's a great private college you really know you know occidental what do you know about it there are these colleges where the wealthy send their kids okay and it's under the radar you know the if you're really wealthy really really really wealthy you pay a publicist to keep your name out of the papers so when this country during the gilded age and after when there was like real money there was harvard the ivy league and then they the really wealthy invented these colleges that no one would know about like amherst and williams oh the little ivy's the little that only the secret club would know about right occidental is one of them oh wow for the people who started princeton started occidental yeah that's like for the very very wealthy who have idiot kids who couldn't get into wow i started feeling good about this at first and then we were idiot kids yeah and then they said why don't we pretend this is like a secret college that nobody knows yeah there was we had a classmate who uh she was from i think malaysia and her family was like the richest you know like they owned like all fast food companies there or something and one time yeah and one time she told me about how she had a growing up a pet dolphin and uh i kept it in a pool and i guess uh dolphins don't survive in small pools and she told me a sad story about how her uh her pet dolphin died that poor girl that was the story that was the occidental story we used to we used to chant that about the doll about the dolphin by the way i have my pet monkey is finally ping standing up i did i should mention that i would pet monkey congratulations after three years i finally got him to peace he's a cappuccino i wanted a bonobos because they just sponsorship bonobos i've learned a lot about recently yeah bonobos have no inhibitions right sex for them is a handshake yes did you know that i did know that and i know that when they have sex they gaze into each other's eyes oh wow they do gaze yeah gaze not just look yeah like a loving gaze you have a pet monkey yeah interesting i'm fascinated and he pees standing up that is the good but only if he's gazing in my eye oh all right that is a deviant monkey no it's just it's just it's a moth and so anytime we make eye contact he pees so well the bonobos are very interesting because they don't consider sex to be that important and yet we had maryl marco on who is the greatest comedy writer in the history of television and she was saying about relationships that once sex is introduced it becomes complicated but my generation tried to believe that wasn't true my generation said no it's just sex that we are not my yeah the 70s yeah and now we're finding from professor lisa wade and her book the hookup culture that your generation has sex on its mind but you're not having the kind of sex that we like to think you guys are having but you take sex very seriously despite everything we what do you what do you what is the what do you think yeah what are the conceptions of your generation of bonobos level well i thought i had three bonobos you think we're gazing at you that bonobos is more they're they're like really in a free love society like it's a matriarchy they're like a hunter gather not even hunter i would just say gather like they don't hunt they're extremely peaceful and i wouldn't say that's like i would say that's an ideal right i don't think we're at that so it's a matriarchal society yeah are they violent no no violence whatsoever no not really um at least not in the book i read about them i think i think them a lot of people say the main difference between bonobos and trims is that chimps tend to be a little more violent when they're male other male yeah dominant and so is so the bonobos made there it's matriarchal yeah so what when you grow up to be a man how are you treated in the bonobos equal as an equal yeah but you answer to the women well i don't know if they really well i will say i know bonobos can't talk so i don't know if there's really any question or answer but what how does a matriarchal society manifest itself in animals yeah it's because i don't know is it like gentle so like a gorilla gorillas for example gorillas um they're like so it's a harem society so like the gorilla there's like one silverback and he just like takes and he like captures the females but because there was no say this again a gorilla is a harem society so he'd like essentially like kidnaps the female gorillas and they're a lot smaller so like the silverbacks evolved to be like really huge and the female gorillas are really small but be since there was no competition amongst the gorillas their uh penises are really really tiny because they didn't evolve so like these huge bodies with small interesting wow kind of like like hungarian man yeah like dude to go to the gym a lot i guess no it's hungarian man yeah it's a hungarian man what is this book because it is sound interesting it's called sex at dawn sex at dawn tells us about gorillas and bonobos yeah and and humans and oh they're humans and the beginning of world war one it's a long but sex at dawn it was it was written by i think barbara typhoon yeah and it's about the bonobos of folly yeah barbara tugman wrote it because the hungarians the austral hungarians had small penises and a big army and they wanted to fight oh wow so you didn't tell me about that yeah okay so the bonobos so moving on so my point is don't move on i agree with everything you're saying we are not in a matriarchy we are definitely in the patriarchy as we all know like right in this room in the world in this room new york city the u.s. large this room the microcosm yeah we're not a matriarchal society uh no iceland has become one really yes meaning what that they woke up and discovered that the economy was crashed i think it's in michael moore's movie oh michael moore where to invade next yeah he talks sicko see it yeah that the michael lewis book or something and talks about iceland somebody named michael there's a michael joint you know is michael nesmith from the monkeys he wrote a book yeah about bonobos because he's a monkey he's hungarian penis yes we're just this is just i'm confused but i i'm interested i feel good well we need we need a matriarch first of all i have to ask you for permission to talk about this it's fine okay i'm comfortable because i do believe that we need to have a matriarchal society i agree with you because i'm close to retirement age i don't give a damn what happens to men i got mine right i got my slice of the pie yeah so i don't give a damn what happens to men either and i am not yesterday without new yorker benefits no boy i read something from eve densler the other day from the vagina monologues otherwise known as my first marriage dear god so call me an uber alex and the the anger the right and they're right what do we do guys right what do we do what do you do i've brought this up before i always maintain how old are you 27 you're 27 so i've said my listeners are gonna get sick of hearing this but this is what i say to you guys you're 27 you are the white man in 1859 in alabama who inherited his father's plantation seriously and you're the idiot son this is who you are this is who you are what about him there's there's two here why are you just talking to me the two of you inherited thank you thank you your dad's plantation and you're going 1859 why is everybody so angry at me i i i have to keep the plantation going yeah you called us an idiot plantation owner and the son of of rich we're an idiot son of rich people a lot of metaphors revolving around the word idiot do you do you sense that the world is changing i hope so you do you do and you want it he's a big trump guy changing for the better yeah great again you want your confederacy back yeah he loves them i get it do are you aware of this i mean and or did you what do you mean of of like social more is changing and i mean what's your problem are you aware that they're changing are we all or am i i don't know what do you this is an intervention it's not yeah and are you okay with it absolutely yeah what what but deep down i'm like i don't know for pretend nobody's listening all right pretend this is our commerce pretend this isn't i need to present myself as a you know socially responsible millennial you know i want to know i mean i mean i'm on a male level on a male level well i mean obviously would you want a level playing field if you could benefit from it deep down inside what i want you're sorry you're asking would i prefer the the benefits of of the patriarchy and yeah hegemonic structure as is versus now we're talking more like equitable yeah that's an oxidant of shit yeah no i want to keep going buddy this is good i like this i want a more equitable society cashier malty do you mind if i ask your question yeah go for i'm ready do you want me to benefit do i want do you want a level playing field or do you want absolutely not as right now no i don't i want you want to tilt i want a quota system i'm like i want i want women and minorities to benefit more yeah i agree with you because like it shouldn't be an equal playing field because it never was an equal playing right because like i feel like it's more a time thing it's like time's up wait man yeah you know it's tough for me because my dad was a progressive liberal fought in world war two and in d-day he killed so many americans it's an old joke it's not coming i know he's not coming no no he was an american he just fracked fragged he fragged he was a fracker he did fracking too he fracked and fracked my dad it was a d-day he killed a lot i'm just trying to work the joke because it's a you got killed a lot of americans because he he fragged his he didn't like his you know what fragging means me yeah i don't think i do it's when in vietnam right the american soldiers would kill their supervisors so they wouldn't end up getting right right this guy wants to become a colonel if we don't kill them we're all going to be dead so they would frag them got it this has nothing to do with what we're just talking about right but that's kind of like overthrowing power over mutiny yeah so i was very ambitious in high school i wanted to get into harvard because i'm a douchebag right and i know that i'm not really i'm being serious i knew that i wasn't smart so i needed something like harvard to cloak myself in so when i walked into a room i would have credentials because i don't have the goods and i remember a dinner saying to my father you know they were going out of their work because i went to white mara high school which was half african-american and the other half was black and the wow and i remember they were it was a time of affirmative action in a dinner i was going dad it's not fair yeah they're going to take these and my and my father would say good i said you your own son is not going to get into good you care more about them than your own blood yeah as i got older i realized he was right because it doesn't because it's all bullshit it's all bullshit that stuff and yeah i mean it's oppression people are all people are smart you know well i don't know about that thing they are all people are smart all people have a specific specialization that's fair that's go ahead i'm sorry no it's okay i was no you're right you mean all people generally are smart you're talking in general say not everybody is smart i think we invent harvard's as it's oppression oh yeah it's a total like construction of whatever but it's a way to keep people in line it's a way for people to say i i have this sheepskin you won't get pregnant wait that's a different type of sheepskin that's lambskin or no that's a lamb okay honey you don't have sex i'm going to go take care of the lamb yeah but it's a form of what's lamb sex like is that in the bad good bad touch yes and it gets worse cassie it just gets worse it does it really does this this show just goes it just it just gets horrible by the way the comedy writing rooms have gotten better because it's no longer yeah yeah i don't know what is a matriarch do you mind if i go yeah a matriarchal writing room as opposed to a patriarchal like a transparent or i don't know i guess like a matriarchal writing room would be like so like a woman would obviously be a showrunner and a woman would be head writer maybe those are different jobs so that more people can get paid um i agree with you go ahead there's lots of different voices and sort of like if you talk over people you're sent social signals that that's not an appropriate thing to do and you're shunned like what social signals can be like so like if you were to talk over me i might which i did and you said earlier and i yeah i am really sorry yeah see that that was a social signal and now he's he's groveling and i but also you said it was you how you built you did call it out as jewish it's sorry i'm sorry i did that um but do you see what i mean now i've just deserted my female spirit over the job yeah do you mind if i pursue this yeah go ahead okay because there are two schools of thought that i've witnessed one is some people believe that you don't need to transform the writing room the or a business that it is what it is i happen to believe that it needs to be transformed oh yeah totally but not everybody agrees with that um i think it depends on what you're writing about and i think from being having been on both sides of the getting of writing packets and also seeing submitted packets i will say like a blind submission you're more well number one there's like more white guys submitting all the time always because of the way everything is set up because people i don't know just for some reason there's more white male comedians comedy writers whatever and because they're more represented and whatever well i i think the reason is if you're part of the ruling class yeah you're gonna that sensibility is going to appeal to you no matter what even you're going to choose you're going to choose it you're going to choose comedy writing because you have a safety net yeah that's true and that's the worst kind of comedy comedy that has a safety net is the worst kind totally agree with you and i think sorry i misinterpreted what you're saying but i think people like people who are choosing the writing packets if they're most likely going to be like a white guy who's like 42 ish whatever like an 80 miles whatever um and so they're going to pick the sensibility that speaks to them most which is they're picking it blindly yeah and even if it's blind it's most likely gonna be somebody who looks like them okay that's interesting i think you're talking about a spec script or jokes yeah like a late night packet or whatever your your color and gender will shine through i think so yeah and does that mean so that means it reflects the taste of the person reading it yeah so is it is it gender and color or sensibility or does color and gender have a sensibility yes it does doesn't it does sometimes i think it depends on the individual but like i don't i don't think people should be pigeonholed as being like a black comedian or a female comedian or whatever i just think people do that because uh we've pigeonholed white male comedy as comedy so you know that's interesting so if if this were i don't even want to say writing room i'm just talking about a business the criticism of Cheryl sandberg right also that's a for my game show jew or swede yeah she's not a jew did you know that did she are you sure sandberg i'm pretty sure sandberg is a one of those sounds like a boy yeah deceptive yeah she's been criticized because as i understand it she's part of the patriarchal system that her idea is learn how to handle the oppressor deceive them work with your man don't overthrow the system is that a fair statement um i think she's also criticized because she's like super wealthy and she's like you want to be a feminist you got to get childcare and like you know i mean uh i think she's like very like white and wealthy and i think her scope is limited to that um i didn't i don't know i didn't realize that like people criticized her because she's just like i guess it's true though she's just like a cog in the machine to use a really dumb phrase but yeah that's it's like the avanka oh yeah avanka you know work with the oppressor and if you're being harassed or manipulated leave and go find work elsewhere just just yeah which is i mean easier said than done sure i think that is number i don't know that's like way easier said than done and uh sorry i'm like really distracted about being mad about avanka trump now but what's the what what what are you mad about avanka trump is uh she like for example at the republican national convention she did a speech about how her father would provide paid child care and how she's just kind of like patching these holes and like obviously politicians never follow through on these promises for things like paid maternity leave paid child care whatever and she's just enabling this like hot air balloon by like patching the holes in it and she's uh she's awful and she and she claims to be like a feminist and empowering to women and yeah and she's anything but she's disgusting yeah she creates problems for women yeah exactly as yeah she's holding up the thing that is holding women back style glamour oh yeah that possible aspirations yeah she's awful she's an oppressor a traitor she is she's a we would call them copos in the yeah and with back to comedy i always say comedy is like dissecting a frog yeah eventually i'm going to get an erection but that's it comedy is aggressive yeah for sure like i think like if you do stand up people are like i killed i crushed i yeah whatever it's like it but female aggression is different than male aggression right yeah i guess so right i think they're both testosterone based what way well i mean how how is it different i i i think on the page i don't mean to traffic and in stereotypes and maybe it's because i'm in a certain place emotionally now but i talk to maryl about this i think women their their first instinct isn't violence they don't think violently men think violently women therefore their writing is a hundred percent vicious whereas a man's is 50 percent vicious because there's the there's violent there's physical there's a little brawn so when it comes to wit and sarcasm i think women are all in in the viciousness on the page i guess so is that a fair statement i don't know about that i think i don't know about writing but i think like i think i like like i guess roasts for example i'm much more interested in watching like women roast each other because men are just like who looks like and brazil and women will say something like maybe more truthful but i guess yeah yeah way more cutting like way more mean maybe like borderline not like too true um but it's much more i don't know it's more interesting and i think i don't know well what was i gonna say oh i guess gone girl are you familiar with gone girl so it's one of my favorite books properties whatever oh the aflec movie yeah oh yeah so in the book there's this whole passage about how um men i guess like when men like men are like the biggest threat to women on earth right so like if a man kills his wife it's going to be like in the heat of passion like he's just gonna like hit her too hard and she's gonna fall down stairs and die but if a woman wants to like kill her husband she's gonna plan it for like a year and like buy a tarp to hide the body like three years out so it's like untraceable and undetectable that it was like part of this huge like conspicuous murder so i guess that would be a difference in female what about variation which is also like a huge stereotype and also fiction but i think it's one of the my favorite things i've ever read yeah yeah who wrote it i know the movie gillian flinn i heard it on tape i just want to throw that out there i walked around the city listening to it okay so let me let me understand this this is very important to me i'm 58 wow yeah and about three or four years ago i said on the show there's this awakening going on where women let me i'm beginning to understand something about me i said and i think i was wrong that women are waking up that men are the they're finally realizing that men are their oppressors and they're no longer expecting men to help them they have to just help themselves and they're not going to explain it to a man anymore because they're just not going to get it they're moving on it coincided with my divorce so you young guys how old are you i'm 29 did you sense this awakening among the the diss staff among the women three or four years ago when i started to get my divorce or did you just did you know or was there no well it coincides with my divorce oh did you really get it no i didn't get oh did you but did you because i always blame external factors i mean i have it down to a science of and it's all a defense mechanism well you know in the 2012 election they didn't know right that women get pregnant from rape they have you know that guy aching or somebody said yeah but women have these juices that prevent their and i thought well women have just woken up to how stupid men are and david's getting a divorce that's what was that did that predate but there's so many white women voted for trump no i'm asking you a personal question okay well i don't think i knew the you know world as well i don't know i was just discovering i had nothing to compare it with or something you know when did you know that men were a problem when did i know that men were a problem when did you when did you know that men are a serious problem like cassie just said the biggest threat to women are men yeah and that's true yeah and that we're aggressive and we're dangerous and we cause war and we're violent and and uh going having a relationship with a man has the potential to be physically dangerous when did that occur to you how many victims did you have before you said most no when when did it occur to you i i guess it yeah it's like the past few years for me of you know looking more critically at this and yeah i don't know would you say in a moment when obama how old are you 27 okay so how old were you when obama was president oh 20 19 18 yes yes around okay so you were just losing your virginity i would assume i mean about that time okay did you know how bad men were i don't think so i don't know i i it's hard to put myself in the that perspective what about you did i know how bad men were when obama was elected yes max uh it's a good question i mean there are bad men i don't think all men are bad i've i've uh i don't know i've been in therapy a long time i feel like i've been aware of my okay who's the jew ding ding ding ding ding ding i've known answer my question i'm being serious i don't understand the question i'm asking did you did i know men were a problem men are a problem they're a problem men are a problem and because of my narcissism i i realize men were a problem at the same time the divorce started and i always say it's not me right right it's not me and it's not her it's the culture women are changing the ground is shifting out from underneath us women have decided that men can't be changed no matter how much you work with them i want a divorce but it's not david feldman's fault it's because rush limbaugh looked at sandra fluke and and who wanted obamacare to cover her birth control pills and and and rush limbaugh went on the radio and said i'm not going to pay for her pill every time she decides to have sex and women said he doesn't even realize how birth control works and this senate this guy running akon said women produce a juice when they're being raped and they don't get pregnant and that's it it's 2012 men don't understand women david feldman has to get a divorce yeah i well right did it come was it 2012 for that was about the year i realized so it's not a generational thing for us men no it's 2012 seriously i i have a sister i have i mean i've always been sympathetic to to women i mean i don't i don't as you get older sure you're more aware that that uh men are very difficult and you know now trump is president and you just you look at a lot of men and you hate them so was it 2012 so something it's was there an awakening if you study american history they'll talk about these awakenings these periods in american history that they call awakenings where these christian evangelical awakenings right happened because of climate was 2012 the year your divorce is that what you're to be honest with you i would say it was 2012 for me too because i think i was like in college doing like a women's studies class for the first time and i think the discourse in general probably started to open up and change because like what we were reading about probably got different but i do i have always hated men so like so have i but so so i'm i apologize putting this through the prism of my own experience but i think we all do that yeah sure because i i i think we're all connected in a culture and when the culture changes we all start thinking differently it's like a wildfire yeah and divorce happens or people get sick i think people are depressed now because of trump and they're waking there's an awakening going on right now where we're going you know what this country has the potential to be amazing and it also has the potential to do terrible things and a lot of people can't get out of bed because of that because they're waking up and discovering that not only is this country capable of doing horrible things i as a citizen have been doing horrible things and i'm complicit just through my silence or ignorance and 2012 for me and a lot of men was the awakening right i guess so yeah i mean i think it's definitely been happening for a lot longer than that i think it's probably when it tragically like got to the mainstream like uh i was reading this book from 1971 uh it was like a book of essays about uh it was edited by Angela Davis and it was like political prisoners and it was like letters they wrote from jail or just essays or whatever like 1970s like radical thinkers whatever and like i like the first essay i read from it was all uh it was just like chilling because it was like all about just it was just echoing what we're all saying about Donald Trump right now and it was just i can't recommend it highly enough well 71 was when era yeah the urn run average amendment was and it never got passed it never got passed and when you go back and read because people don't think it's real it's so insidious they're like you have equal rights when you go back and read about my heroes from the 60s the men yeah yeah they had they were neanderthals right yeah some of it also probably has to do with the internet and 2012 you know the ongoing dialogue and cultural emotional you know voices being heard on on the internet that's probably a proliferation of that in 2012 for sure when you know you hear more points of view uh suddenly yeah you're both of you are new to this show have you seen this no have i i've never been on here i listened to an episode to prepare right and that explains the gaping hole in your head yeah where's the gun wow and you still showed up i did yeah so we're the the promise to the listeners is that we address a problem and then we offer a solution it just can't be negative i have to give marching orders to the listeners and because we're all trying to behave better as human beings sure what i'm getting out of this is my wife might take me back no uh that it reinforces it reinforces what i believe and that is that mental illness or sadness depression hostility anger rage comes from within but the vessel is filled from without there's a there's a vessel we're all vessels and we respond to external stimuli we get filled up with stuff and then the mental illness is how we release what's inside of us that society pours into us yeah and i i kind of feel that we're waking up again and four or five years after the last awakening i think trump there's a new awakening of the not just men yeah but america is a toxic brew of so what do you think so you cast you were pretty spot on you you say we have to shift to a matriarchal you have to be like the bonobos we absolutely have to be like bonobos in every way i need to wait excuse me for one second you say it jokingly but i you mean it i do me yeah and you're giggling it okay so well like there's like a huge also in this book is that there's a huge misconception that like early humans were super violent but they weren't they were like and like uh they would like kill each other for resources or whatever but they didn't they just like moved they were like nomadic and uh what i want to use the appropriate phrase because i'm saying foragers they were foraging societies and they like just i don't know they were they were foraging society and they moved that they were nomadic yeah they were nomadic and they like didn't kill each other and everybody got along and just had bonobos acts and there was no and it was matriarchal yeah so so let me understand this so you're saying that a nomadic society yeah it you're hunting you're gathering you're not farming no farming is a root cause of a lot of issues creates dependency and alcoholism and drug addiction oh for sure yeah but the many people maintain that men discover seriously when men discovered alcohol beer and wine the hunting and gathering stopped and we became farmers yeah barley beer yeah there was like a whole like the 19 teens i don't know the temperance of it was all like women like all like early feminists who thought like alcohol made men horrible which they're not wrong but okay so if you're if you're nomadic the why would the women then control the culture if you're traveling um they have purses yeah that's exactly versus and purses and they can carry i think it had it had something to do i want i don't know i really don't know i would assume i think just everything is better but i would assume it's matriarchal because if your hunter-gatherer the men are out using their brawn to kill things and bring it back to the women who have to be smart enough to cook it prepare it say we need a little let's plan for the future with this idiot man over there may not be able to kill another lion or whatever whatever we eat i don't know i have to go so we would require planning ahead yeah thinking about the future i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna be impregnated i have to have a baby i need a place to protect it this guy is a murderer the men are murderers they don't they only think they operate on adrenaline they don't think past the thing they have to kill or be killed by i guess so and if women are gathering it was a lot it came that's like that's definitely i want to say that was like a simplistic way to look at it but i'm simplistic well i i'm i'm simplistic so i can't remember exactly what it was but i know that it was much more than like gender roles because i weren't gender roles really yeah there were there were male gatherers i'm sure female hunters i'm sure that huntresses yeah female huntresses and i would assume that the female huntress was able to kill the deer without a rock or an arrow just with their mordant wit that's exactly right they would just say something to the deer it's a roast battle and they would the deer would go oh god you really are going to bring that up about the size of my antlers really you're gonna do that she's right she's right oh my god just i'll walk you back just i'll walk back with you to the fire you can start burning me let's plug some gigs this was interesting so bonobos is that's what we're aspiring to be like that's what we're learning that's exactly bonobos yeah interesting you should i'd like to read that book sex at dawn sex at dawn i got it at the strand you got at the strand yeah a plug the greatest place how much i think it was like 1295 that's good it's about 300 pages what would you like to talk about what would i like to talk to you if you had if you were controlling the situation here oh man what's what's pissing you off what's pissing me off lately or does it have to be what's pissing you if i always approach it by what's pissing me off i just i don't know i don't have a lot going on i'm for it right now you're working full time i am working full time i think it's the change of the seasons i i just finished a dresser you made a dresser i did uh i just finished a cleanse i'm like extremely boring i'm like just sorry it was a it was like a anti-inflammatory it's very not interesting no i don't want to talk about it i'm interested in that for sure um it was an anti-inflammatory diet wow is it working yeah i lost like i don't know i can't do math i lost close to 20 pounds whoa that's amazing i think like 12 to 15 and how long a month and what did you live on uh meat through vegetables paleo yeah like a bonobo wow this is your this is your well paleo is meat and vegetables right yeah uh no added sugar no alcohol no grain no dairy and is that the paleo diet that's uh it's a stricter version of the paleo diet my listeners are going to hang themselves but i tell you this oh my god but i had the inventor of the paleo diet on my show dr cot i and i have a block on his name that's okay i feel like all these people who in like atkins and the guy who invented uh hot yoga they're all a little bit off no this guy i'll take i'm bringing it back to wrap up the show okay okay i i talk about him all the time on the show and i don't know why i don't have him back he's like jody armor this law professor who i always quote and then people said well why don't you have him back on the show gee okay he invented the paleo diet he went to harvard medical school and while he was going to harvard medical school he noticed that he had extra time so he got a phd in anthropology while he was going to harvard medical school very as you do yeah i mean yeah brilliant guy so he combined anthropology with medical science and helped develop the paleo diet well and studied ancient cultures and he wrote a book called women after all oh man i gotta read it and he concluded that women hold men's life's life's lives in their hands you could you can only have a healthy relationship men with a woman if you worship her that was his conclusion yeah that that's true that and the whole conclusion is that women are not supposed to be like men women are supposed to be like women and men must worship women and if you don't worship them you will not have a healthy relationship that you don't try to understand them don't try to don't argue there's you it's like arguing with another species just worship them i don't know if it's like necessarily true that you need to worship them but i think men are maybe a little slow on the uptake that you would need to use a hyperbolic word like worship to get what's wrong with that baseline respect baseline wow that's how they interpret the word worship you just woke up alex brazil but but why not why not worship them i don't know maybe i feel like i might need to unhealthy tendencies but women on a pedestal yeah and and so when i sacrifice animals right you don't want to you don't exactly yeah that's not a good thing no hmm but appreciate you need to appreciate appreciate respect respect respect i would say it's the main thing how about be kind to kind love it that's one of me well if you approach it from a martin buber i vow which i do you do yeah if you worship all humanity there's nothing wrong with worshiping women right if you find god in all people maybe with women you can have a god that you can worship more if you're not i'm losing my mind i really am so i thought we were going somewhere huh yeah okay i'm gonna wrap it up okay because i'm going off i wanted to talk i went off the deep end i'm off the deep end that's let's uh plug some gigs okay max azulea sir you are the jew ah the reveal the whole time i knew it and she knew because i cut her off you circumcised the conversation i'm the model of this and max azulea and alex mullen are the insecure morons thank you for coming on the show thank you so much for having us well thank you for thanking me and thank you and come back and we can see your work on the huffington post every time you're a die and the insecure morons we're on uh scott regoski show running late on monday when is this come out this will be yesterday oh okay this will be tuesday all right so that already happened how was it oh my god we crushed or you know we should use more feminine language i don't know do you have a suggestion i would say crushed okay i was like kassie grimaldi yes when you're not in america you go back to monaco to oh yeah with my royal family i am the heiress of both the mona monican yeah yeah the monican royal family you came into this country illegally you're from monaco that's true and i started a pizza empire which i rule over wow the grimaldi grimaldi what kind of name is that italian but but but the prince of monaco yeah you said the last name is grimaldi yeah it is i don't know i i'm going to say yes we are related even though i don't know okay and let's plug some gigs for kassie when is this i'm doing i'm roasting a friend on april 12th i don't remember where but okay now when you roast here when you roast yeah do you single out the thing that they're ashamed of or yeah okay sure everything no stone is left unturned is the friend of men or woman she's a woman so she is i like that you know woman yeah she's a woman it's for her birthday she asked me to roast her so i'm gonna do that that's april 12th don't remember the name of the venue but i'll be there uh april 13th bitch party at prime box rock shop it's very fun um and you should have the insecure morons uh for sure we'd love to i would love to have them uh april 15th april 15th is tax day or as donald trump calls it no touch just a day just a normal day just a regular day um it is a creek bros and i'm sure i'll be doing a lot more i don't know i don't know what my schedule is i take it one day at a time okay cleanse is over though cleanse is over okay we also have a show on the day after this do we have wednesday at the pit at 7 p.m oh nice first i'm hearing of it it's not okay and where is the pit it is on west 20 or east 23rd street east as opposed to this show which is the pits thank you guys i'd like to welcome everyone to the david feldman podcast everyone's favorite show i like social media and the good things that it brings reconnecting old friends and the arab sprang but social media makes me feel inferior i am lake eerie everyone else is lake superior oh look wendell travers got a job at the white house i mean good for wendell travers i'm doing fine myself oh look tanner fisk has a supermodel girlfriend i brushed up against a woman on the train today and oh look teddy rider let's is getting married my mom really wants me to get married to her and oh look cherim i cross just got funded for his digital novel if shame were money i'd be bill gates it's like you're competing against everyone you know and everyone can somehow forward to vacation in bordeaux it's like a mythological greek punishment where every day in every way you feel incompetent and oh look craig burns has a kid who seems to love him i have all the psychological issues of a child actor in spite of having never acted he's never acted before and oh look holly peterson just reached eight years of sobriety oh that's so weird i haven't talked to holly in like exactly eight years is that a coincidence i wouldn't overthink it man okay well all right bian jones just took a picture of a wonderful italian dinner my behavior towards women has been described as italian most of bennie and oh look lina ain't finds a picture of a cat amusing the only thing i find amusing is society i exist everybody come on join in join in i exist all my david feldman heads out there sing along sing along i exist everybody's tired of what the fuck waymark baron exists everyone who's ever masturbated using chapstick come on everybody thinks lincoln had it coming thank you very much that's our show david tell on april seventh through the eighth will be at comedy club on state in madison wisconsin then he goes to my favorite comedy club in minneapolis the acme comedy company that would be april 20th through the 22nd then he's onto the stress factory april 28th through the 29th and if you live in boston catch them at the wilbur theater on may 13th may 18th he's at the crapshoot comedy festival in las vegas and then may 19th through the 21st cobs comedy club in beautiful san francisco dina bedia's radio shows on sirius xm please listen to it and if you live in the philadelphia area we'll see a may 7th of the punchline in philadelphia for dr catz's special benefit please share this program with all your friends copy and paste the links and share it we're putting out an album it's called pay what you want and you can literally pay what you want every month we're posting anywhere between seven to ten minutes of new stand-up material that's going to be used for an album we're going to put out around Thanksgiving of 2017 each month we're putting up about five to seven minutes go to david feildman show look for the banner click on it and pay what you want you can give us a penny or three billion dollars and you'll get the first seven minutes of my comedy album and then next month we're going to post another seven minutes please go to david feildman show dot com and check out a comedy album that is in the works and you can listen to the first iteration of pay what you want by paying what you want anywhere from a penny to whatever you want from the show briz studios in downtown Manhattan that'll do it for us