Welcome back. This is why in the morning, and of course, my name is Ram Agukko, if at all you're just joining us, this is the next conversation of the day. It's all about matters concerning your relationships today on this morning conversation. We are coming to you live from the broadcasting house. Keep talking to us. The hashtag is why in the morning at Ram Agukko at Y254 Channel. Today we are asking the question whether it is okay for a man to receive money from a woman that he is dating, from the girlfriend or from the wife, in regards to handling his affairs. Is it okay as a woman to take care of your man financially? As a man, are you okay being under her care? Let's talk about this particular issue. I am with Dennis Marsharia, who is next to me, Karibusana Dennis. And of course, to my far right, I am with Simon Imbugwa, who is an artist and a small-scale business person. Karibusana. Thank you, thank you. And of course, the hashtag as always is why in the morning, keep talking to us. What do you think about this particular issue? Is it okay for a man to be under her care? Let's talk about this. Let me start with you, Simon. What do you think about that? Is it okay for a man to be receiving money from the woman, the girlfriend or the wife? Mr. Ram, like I said, first of all, I think it depends on how many marriages you have. If you have a marriage, maybe the guy, maybe he has a job, you know, maybe he has a job in Portia. In that situation, maybe he is allowed in some way to come and be married. But if they are dating, like when you go to date, like I said, he has a wife. You know, he has a wife, and then the lady, I think he is allowed in some way to come and be married. In that case, it means that the lady has provided him with a job. But in terms of dating, he is allowed to have a job. But you guys are dating, that's your gulf, that's your, you're dating, so it is not okay if you have money. I think it depends on who I am, you know. Maybe there are some weird reasons, like maybe you don't have money when you get married, you know. Maybe, maybe when you get married, you know, you have a wife who is sick, you know. But you know, if you have a date, you can actually, when it's a date, maybe it makes sense, maybe we do just for fun. All right. Dennis? Actually, like he said, it depends, but personally, I wouldn't agree a lady would be giving me money all the time because according to the topic, it's being under the lady's care, completely, entirely. Actually, there are repercussions for this because one thing, there are different forms of respect, okay. And a man needs to have his own respect, you see, man's respect.  So, if you have a girlfriend, you don't have to say anything. Because maybe, you know, if you have a husband, you don't have to say anything. So, your respect for your husband is not to be hurt because you are not in the same situation as me because if you have a girlfriend, your friends, everyone seeing you as if you can't handle your family matters and everything, you know. So that's one reason why you shouldn't accept a woman to take care of you completely. So like, what, how much do you have? You don't have money. How much do you have? Exactly. Because you are not a woman. Exactly. Because you are not a woman, you are not a woman. So that's what I'm asking you to do. You know what I'm asking you. You see, you need to stand up as a man, look for something to do. Or at least one, two, three, on a pata. You see, this is a hand on a pata. And if this hand has, in case, let's say the thumb is not there, or maybe another finger, it's hard to grasp something, okay? And lay queen, all the fingers are there, okay? So you, as a man, you need to provide at least one to three, and then how she brings into the table for five, for the hand to become complete. In that, that hand supposed to put, to push your relationship and keep you going, you see? I love the example of Metua. It's all about being under her care. And you've said, a hand, five fingers. You bring one, two, three, and she brings for five. What if you bring one? She brings two, three, four, five. No, let me tell you, no. That's another thing. That's another thing. Okay, you bring one. Yes.  Okay, you've brought one today, she has understood. But why be bringing one each and every day, and you are a man. You are a man. There's a reason why you were born a man, and she was born a woman. Let's go back to the Bible, okay? Okay. At least, let's, let's be, let's go back to the Bible. Kiasi, man was created first. Woman was created after the man, okay? And, okay, I'm not familiar with the verses, but I'm certain, and I've ever read Mahalukwamba, a woman was given to a man for the sake of being a companion to the man, or rather the helper to the man, right? So, the moment you, you forget your roles, and let her take over your roles, you're not being a man, she's becoming the man. And honestly, to keep the chamber visual Simon, when you are under her care, does it mean that she becomes the man of the house and you become... Like a... Like a kitty. Like a kitty. Like a kitty. I was told that I had to get a job, and I had to go to the market. I was told I had to go to Jamma, because I had provided for people who had invested in me. I was told I had to go to the market, but the market was still a home safe.  You're going to sleep? Yes. You're going to sleep? Yes. Because when you see the house, you might not be able to come. Madam has a job. When you come, you might not be able to take care of your child. When you have a job, you might not be able to take care of your child. When you have children, you might not be able to go to sleep. When you have a job, you might not be able to come. When you have a job, you might not be able to take care of your child. Because you might not be able to work. So, you're going to be the housewife? Yes. So, for a real man, he might not be able to marry you. When he's married, he will marry you in a situation of poverty. When he's married, he might not be able to work and have a job. He might not have enough time to work and have a job. So, he might not be able to take care of her because he might not be able to take care of his child.    You're saying a man can do this and a woman can also do the same. Honestly, to be honest with you, that's next to abnormal. You see, let me tell you something. We have cultures. There are some cultures that we need to evade from, others leave them alone, but there are some cultures that we still need to cherish and continue living in them. Like the role of a man and the role of a woman. Not in that dimension. About saying the role of a man and the role of a woman, you're going to bring even the house chores there. Anyone can do any house chores, but we're talking about providing for the family. Or rather, maintaining your relationship as a man and a woman who are in a certain relationship. So in that relationship, as long as financial is being concerned, a man needs to take action. So the moment the woman becomes the breadwinner every time, that makes the person less of a man. But the good thing is that it doesn't happen to many relationships. Sometimes circumstances might allow. Maybe it's because this person had lost a job or something had happened. First of all, I would like to object to what my friend said. Because even in marriages, a man needs to stand up as a man. Do you know this can also be a reason of cheating? If you don't stand up as a man. Do you know why? Because, let me tell you something. Amongst the pillars of marriage, the pillars that support a marriage, money. No, let me not say money because that would be a bit of greed. But financial stability is one of them. Call it as it is. Let's call it financial stability. When you say money, you might be having money, but maybe the woman's very greedy wants you to have more money. So you are saying the reason why cheating is this? Let me show you how. So in those pillars that hold a relationship or even a marriage, apart from sexual satisfaction, there is financial stability. So if you can't provide for this woman, she is taking care of you. All your needs are to be at your feet. You are going to eat, eat, and drink. You will be at your feet when you are at your feet. So, I know I am your wife. Now let's talk about the sexual satisfaction. So how can you tell her not to cheat you, yet you can't provide for her? Apart from that, this woman might be having different sources of bringing income and other secret sources. So she is taking care of you. She is taking care of you. You don't have any command or authority over her. Because she is taking care of you. She is taking care of you. He gave an example. She goes to work, you remain with the kids, you take the kids to school, you pick them back in the evening, you clean the house, you do the house chores, and laugh on the picker so that when she comes back, she finds the food ready. Would you be in a position to do that? I don't see any bad thing in that. I don't see any bad thing in that. Because the house is yours, the children are yours, the husband is yours and everything else. We don't want to bring a situation whereby the house is filled with people who are working. People who are working are sad. But for how long? Is it supposed to be a killer or a cut? Let's talk about that aspect of cheating.  And are you losing control over her? I think the story of cheating is that maybe if someone is not satisfied, the story of cheating is that if she is financially stable, if she is able to do it, cheating and cheating are maybe in terms of attention. Maybe you don't give her attention.  She thinks she has attention. Maybe she will ignore it. If she complains about it, she will give her attention. She will appreciate it. So cheating is that if she is first of all with sexual satisfaction, she will pay attention and she will appreciate it. If she is not satisfied with her job, she is working class lady. If she gets a job, she will return home. But if she is too busy, she will have to make her colleagues work. Maybe she will be busy, but if she is not satisfied with her career, she will work. She will be satisfied with her job. So if she is not satisfied with her work, she will have to give her attention. She is like a flower. Will you be okay with that? This is my friend. But eventually, like he said, I come to the lady who wants to cheat on me. So, I... I feel sorry for her cheating. I don't want her to pay attention. Her compliments, her romance. She doesn't want to go to the apartment. Because she doesn't want to go to the stadium. That's the opportunity. But it's the same thing that men...  Just, you know, some men look at money as a source of control. That he who gives money controls the relationship. And that is... That is where the problem is. What he says is, he who brings money to control the relationship and gives it to her, she will provide it to her. So, she doesn't want to go to the stadium. Because she doesn't want to go to the stadium. I don't have control over her. She will cheat on me. So, she doesn't want to go to the stadium. She doesn't want to go to the stadium. That's automatic. So, it's about control. That's automatic. Because... When you say, if a woman takes care of you in every way, if she tells you to do something, even if she tells you to do something, it will be hard for you to not do that thing. But when you give her money, so you want to control her. Because here we're looking at a woman who gives you money. You're saying that if you give her money, she will give it to her. It's an example, I'm saying. That if a woman is providing for the family, it's hard for you to not do it. Now, it's hard. But now, if the roles were reversed, and she gives you money, she will give you money to control her. But she won't be commanding. Again, you see, as a man, you still have that authority in you. You still have that authority in you. First, in fact, the previous point that you said on cheating, it's like you didn't understand what I was trying to say. What you're trying to mean is that, once you can't provide, because definitely you can't provide for her, for the kids if you have kids, or if it's a relationship, if it's a marriage, you can't provide, you can't make the marriage stand, not unless by the sweet words and everything. Man, there's more than those words. There's more than those words. And a large percentage of these people who are in such a situation, most of them reach a point and they are fed up of it.  And at times they may sit, somewhere have a meeting with themselves and then say, this man, I've been with him all these years. He's done nothing for me. He's never taken me to dates. You know, ladies are very fragile, let me say. They would like to be handled with care. And what makes you be able to handle them with that care, it's also showing how you love them. By buying them some stuffs, taking them out and everything. But you don't do that. She understands you the first year, the second year, all those years that you've been together. And then it reaches a point and takes an example. It puts herself in a French show, who now she's in a better life. So she will end up leaving you because you're not giving her the attention she wants. Yeah, because come to think of it, she's a lady, she's beautiful, well-figured and everything. She deserves much better, but you can't provide for her. She ends up leaving you or cheating you. And if she's going to stay with you, then that will be out of sympathy. But again, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying everyone, but some of them who are normally in such situations. Let's talk about the family aspect of this particular issue. Will you have a problem when your in-laws see that your wife is providing for you? Because you're under her care. That's a very big problem and more than embarrassment to yourself. Especially to the in-laws, to your in-laws. In fact, some of these people will end up discouraging your wife or your girlfriend by telling her, I'm sorry, by telling her, so what are you in this relationship? Are you the man of the relationship? So that's total disgrace. All right, let me come. What do you think?  Your mother-in-law knows how to answer. Your mother-in-law knows how to answer. Because first of all, when you try to have a relationship with someone else, you might say, there are people who don't know how to deal with it. They don't know how to deal with it. They don't know how to deal with it. So the two things that I try to say are the same thing. Because in-laws, in-laws, most of the in-laws are in fact, they are the ones who contribute to this. My in-laws are the ones who do it.  That's the in-laws who are taking care of the dowry. So when you come here, do you see what I mean? I love the fact that you've brought in the aspect of dowry. When a man cannot provide, and the discerning was the money, how do you handle that part of dowry? When a man cannot provide, the discerning provides, how do you handle the part of dowry? So it's quite tricky. Because imagine in-laws, I don't have a family who has a wife or a father. So it's a difficult situation. Because those in-laws are in a certain class. Maybe they're two or three, or they're hustling. But those in-laws are in your class. So if you're married, what do you mean by that? That's the future. So if you're married, what do you mean by that? But regardless of class, dowry is still expensive. Regardless of class. Yes, dowry is expensive, but what do you mean by that? The in-laws, if they're in the same class, what do you mean by that? Because if they're in the same class, what do you mean by that? Let's say you're in the same class. You don't have the money, how do you get it? I think dowry has a story. People are in the same class. All right. What do you mean by that? How do you get dowry? How do you get it? And you're under her care. Now, you see, when it reaches a point that you guys want to get married, people who make the correct decisions get married to each other at the right time. Without rushing into things. Because personally as a man, I wouldn't want to start a marriage when I'm not financially stable. Because how am I going to pay for dowry? How am I going to handle the family? How am I going to bring up the children and everything? I will only get married if I'm financially stable. So personally, when I get married, I don't want to push too much. And then I don't want to focus. See how you are. Let's just pause. Because no one will loan you the money because no one will give you the money. Because no one will give you the money. That's why you're talking to a relationship. This lady, you won't have as far as you're all of the same, you love each other and it's supposed to be of the same class. No, I'm not talking of the class, but let me tell you. No one will be subject to the other. But deep inside, we know that the lady is subject to the other. She is subject to the other. She is subject to the other. So if she will loan you the money, and then you will give it to her, there's some things you will say. But first of all, she will not take your money. And then she will not give you the money. And then she will give you the money. But when she comes home late, she will say, I will give it to you, but she won't let me give it to her.  Ok, that's a good question. What kind of money do you have to give them? Let me tell you something, sir. Ok, let me now tell you what's true. One of the main reasons that I would even tell our viewers, note, what are you saying, actually, you should stand up as a man, and make sure at least at a comma your girl is providing you also bringing something home. You see, because once you guys split up, break, some of these ladies, some of these ladies are going to destroy your reputation for good. Ok, they're going to be speaking all bad things about you, not all but some of them. Because they will even speak of even pretty things.  This is why they're doing it. It's sad. It's sad. That's very important.  So you try to to get into a confrontation and the because it a beauty maybe you are going to this is a result it has it I said I am I am I am if you come so if a woman is providing for you it a beauty come and I I what can see what you guys are saying and of course some of your feedback just a few because I'm seeing some in the comment we are not able to read all of them let me just sample a few that I as much as I can OK so you imagine you are Beautiful Janet many we have these beautiful Men should hustle for their families, period. Hey, Jeanette, uh-huh. Lapa, hey, this, uh, uh, Cuisvas Lepaporits, that's the name. Anasamati, makes some, makes some take for granted the love, forget the place as a man and finally breaks the woman's heart a night of the cycle of imaginary love. All right, Braden Paul and I said, my women would strongly say no and give names to such men, but that's their woman, no more, that's their normal lifestyle. Uh-huh, Maureen Wamboro and I said, I had to nangapesa, CC. Preheh. Ponawake. No. Hehehehe. Pre-Presenter Steve Shanty, I didn't want to nangapesa out. As an Asama Hatchama student how do you get that tangle the tangle the tangible the visible the realgeny Heheheh. hmmm. Pres pretty I said hushed up in the morning Nuki Zuoritsehe He has a good taste dey Ford collisions and mobile Then coo, cooPanda affair. And I don't know And I don't know RЗдpanda They gra thing and I say, I will give you the money the next day, but to see India further the next day. Priskarji peno, good morning, mimi sikubalyani nahi soala, mon amke anam pah mume aw boyu ake pesa labda, amunulie yiyo hana, but asimpe pesa. All right, mon afal safah, huru mon afal safah huru, and I say, any man being fed by woman is doomed. Men should learn to hustle on their own. Myaka Francis, if the man is totally incapacitated, nisawa, all right? We have Mishi Muhammad, and I say, all this kiawapi, kwa ni mimi ni mamayake? I say, am I your mother? All right, Joram atola, and I say, Kampomboi following the show. Thank you so much, Joram. Dantela Didanti, and I say, I'm a part of love, all right? And I say, I'm watching from Sierra County, number 041. Oh my goodness, but we can't judge my pensy here, and as long as them, anahu wezo, then let her find the boyfriend, ends his a pesa namwanaume ni yawatuote kwa inyumba, naza mon amke, niza kivya ke zili pitu anawa kati. Adimi lo kingori wa manguban, I say, kupewa daw, skilla siku. But kupewa daw na dem simbaya. Kupewa skilla siku, iyo ni konnisha piya wewem wanaume ukona kasoro, and you need to go to a mental health facility, all right? Julius Maena and I say, maia ikosa wa piya, kama ana make effort na kutaftaiake, but ukipata na fasya kuji toa, kwa poverty take it. Bona uteseke na iyo inyawae out, live a good life. Hey, all right. Ongin wa sama, oh, he's not a man.  Aki kosa wa piwe piya? At the Evans human, masipua man ku, men wa aslo on their own. Wow, these comments are so many, but yeah, let me just leave it at that point. Let me give you time to comment kwa, kwa izo ni zajime, skya sofa. Let me start with the nano-kono mic. Oh, yeah, yes. What do you think about the things that are on the same map as you, Ntundaw? Kuna mo niya mese maa pwati, aw piya ni wanadam, okay. Like, ku providio asimba, letun kwa ni mese maa ku providio asimba, but, is kue like, is hendetwa next in that, wuna pata, wu jama piya na take advantage. Wuna wana. Kuna wana wana jwa ku take advantage sana. Nasi wana ume peke ake, like in human nature, wana pata nga, umtu, wansu siya patole mtu ani zaku patiya kitu, wesa like wuna take advantage. Wuna wana, wumtu sii ni muraisi, ni kimi tisha do fly na nani patiya. Inakwa sana ni kauna, manipulati mtu. So, wuna take to advantage, kwa zata toa, suta mutiata toa, dha mutiata kupatiya. Comment, kwa kue, uta mese maa ku ani, Facebook na kuna jima mo jama mese maa mato, okay. Haste, Godwin, Godwin asimba. A chain of evil. Jawa yami at wesa pewa pese na bae, sasa ni ni kitaku tangaza. All right, comment there. Okay, you see, some, some, some of those who have commented, haven't understood the topic of today, it's that entirely under the woman's care, entirely. You have those who are supporting it, ni wana dani it's like a one-time thing. A one-time thing? Yes. But just to tell them that it's entirely like, monamke ako chaini ako kabisae, ako chaini monamke anaku handling everything, you see. So, that, that, that's not good. In fact, it's not healthy for you as a man, you see. Do you know how? Not, not saying about psychological health and my physical health, but you're held as a man, you know. All right. You happen to be more of a boy than a man. All right.  Thank you so much. That is Dennis Machari, Asante Sanna, and of course to my far right, Simon Imbugwa, Asante Sanna, thank you so much for joining me today. Nashkuru. And of course that presents to the end, let's not to a cheer up with you, because muda me tu panini. Asante Sanna, that presents to the end of this morning conversation right here on why in the morning, keep talking to us, keep engaging with us. And of course that presents to the end of the whole show right here on Y254. On behalf of everybody, everybody that ensured this show was a success. Thank you so much. God bless you. May God bless the work of your hands. My name is Ram Aguko. This is why in the morning.


Nyongesa is the director of ReCEP, an initiative that is impacting the lives of young women and girls through mentorship and training programs. I come from western part of Kenya, that is Kaka-Mega County, Nomiya. I took my primary education in Halaba primary. I majed in the best in my primary school. I have scored 519 points out of 700 by then. Then I proceeded to Lubinu and post Lubinu high school where I took my form 1 to form 4. Then from Lubinu, I came to Nairobi, that was 89. After completing my form 4 in 89, I came to Nairobi. Then I happened to land in Korokocho, one of the informal settlements in Kenya, where I found a lot of challenges and scenarios I had never seen in my life. I caught a lot of challenges, especially among the youth. Most of them were not cooperative enough. And I realized they were involved in different fun activities and mostly mocking, snatching, stealing, stopping, all sorts of things. And the girls were involved in prostitution, supporting these young boys to carry some scared weapons to other destinations in the form of carrying the baby. So it was so funny and so scary that I felt I should go back home because I had never seen such kind of things happening. Today I'm still there from 89. Today it's around 30, 31 years. Remaining in Korokocho just to find out exactly what makes these young people behave the way they behave. So by remaining there, I just wanted to see what can change and what's happening that cannot make a change to happen. Then fortunately the Kumboni missionaries arrived in 1992. So they also felt the same when they saw these young girls getting pregnant and doing a portion prostitution and just doing things which were really ethical. So they also felt it and they came up with a pro-life movement. This movement was to protect these young girls from involving these activities and then engage in a protective way of doing things. So we were part of the team with the Kumboni missions deployed to find out exactly how many young people were pregnant, how many had done a portion and what effects that they were really undergoing through. So around 1994 they started Kuteteo High project. This Kuteteo High project was to bring on board these girls, unfortunately boys were not involved, but the girls saw those challenges in life to come and then create skills. Because some of them were using these contraceptives. We had three cases which were taken in Nazaret. They were using kopa tea as a way of family planning. Then when they were keeping path, unfortunately they happened to cut path when they were having those kind of devices in their body. So it stuck in the head. So they were undergoing operations at Nazaret at the cost of the missionaries because it was very expensive. Insession might be free but removing becomes expensive. Some were using bills which made them also have complications in the body. So after a certain time of doing this job, missionaries come and go. So they left around 2005, the most prominent ones, for Daleks, Sanuteli and mother Jutereo they left. After leaving those who came, they found that they cannot do any training in Kurokocho because people are very poor. And this cause entails a lot of materials, a lot of equipment and now our girls are coming to support the missionaries. So as a result, they relocated from Kurokocho. So it means the abandoned Kurokocho remained the way it was. So but because we had involved in the same process, we felt we cannot leave our young girls remain the same. So we took up the task and started a rescue on the Brooklyn Community Environment Program. One, we were a team of five. This was my wife, Patrice, who was really out. She was one of the teachers who was trying to transform these girls. Myself, we had Barasa, we had Patrick, we had Lilian. So we really came out and said no, we cannot leave our community parish. And then we went and registered a CBO, which we named it as Resept. That is Rescued and Improved Community Environment Program. So officially we registered in 2012 just to take up the task and now the government know that we have really come out strongly to bring out some change in our community Kurokocho. So when we started, it was a pretty challenging because we didn't know we could really pick up because missionaries had a lot of resources. We don't have resources. So it was a trial and error. For the first year, we had a massive recruitment of around 65, both teenage mothers, single mothers and girls. So when they came on board, we used spiritual guidance through the people, we used life skills, we deployed some experts in life skills who came and just brought about total behavior change for three months. And then after first year, 2012, official registered, 2013, 2014, then we picked up. After picking up, we could also make it, although with little resources we had, but with the good will of our community, the neighbors and some well-wishers, we started and after that, we are still transforming the same. From hairdressing to tailoring, the organization eclips their apprentices with various hands-on skills. We are going to address and beauty. We have been through this course because of the community, we have been working in a drop school, we have been a member, we have been working in a drop school for school fees, we have been working in a drop school for a month, and then we went and started to use social media for our kids, which in the end is easier now.  Na naninakama wana chao. Nkama wala nwa sabutuna pasikat umkwa. Sama, kutama su mafobu wa kha uchwa, kutama na indibuna kuchwa, hupia mafoduna kuhaduwa. So, uchwa nahoo mefru mafaduwa kuhadyuwa. Na za na chuduwa. We felt this was our target group, so we used to announce in the church those with young girls, teenage mothers, single mothers were doing nothing. They went to school maybe they never succeeded to complete class 8, formed 4 or they completed but they have no other way out. Instead of turning to ways which can ruin their life, we felt it's important they bring them to us. Then after that long process and also we used these village elders, the chiefs parasas also gave us a lot of support and when they gave us support they really came out strong and said what you are doing was very important and they send a word to the community members around in the chiefs parasas and we caught a number of them. Unfortunately they were not sponsoring them so when they came we felt you cannot return them away. So what we did, I remember for the first time we made an arambi where we involved the chiefs, the church community leaders and we cared some equipments to cater for them. What we do when we first engage them into our program, what we normally do is to


Ladies and gentlemen Tony gasses here want to pop in Me and wife was doing our dates early today had all of dates. So it gave me a little time tonight cuz she wanted to get some stuff done so I was able to take it pop in for a quick live tonight and You know in light of everything going on. I figure you know, I know it's some people that need to take their mind off a thing sometimes and Have issues right there in their home. That's still in their joy still in their life In addition to what's going on all around us. So I figure you know, let me do my part and Help relieve some of the stress or worry or what have you? So I'm gonna be on here. Hopefully for an hour. I think my battery got a little life. So I'll be on here about an hour Try to put a hashtag cue in front of your question if you can and I'll be looking see if I can Catch the questions in here When a man says, I think I love you. Is he genuine probably not unless his actions say I love you Now if his actions say I love you and his mouth says, I think I love you then yes, he's genuine Because sometimes a man don't want to sometimes hard for a man to say I love you So, you know, you have to realize that but one thing that cannot be denied is what a man is doing So if you hear right now here in this Sharon say she on the front line now. Okay. Wow. God bless you now.   How can you break a soul tie? in my head Together for 14 years and five kids, he's married and won't leave you alone. I just want to be free Well, he won't leave you alone because you won't let him leave you alone And so you get the dictate if he can reach you or not You get to dictate those things and so you have to take that stance to where you put a boundary between y'all five kids they probably old enough for for him to talk directly to them and the youngest That phone call with the youngest could be initiated or Moderated by the oldest so you got to put that boundary in there But 14 years together that that's a lifelong soul tie you most likely not gonna break it But you can weaken it I got played by a grown boy Any way I could have prevented it.  He cheated all those years now said wants to get back together He changed I said it's over am I wrong? Nope.  So now it's time to move on for good Why does a man show interest and ask you on a date but barely calls before the date even happens? Um, he's showing other things interest not necessarily women most likely it's women, but it could be some other stuff and It sounds like he's juggling women Is it good when girlfriend lets boyfriend cousin watch her child? Good when the girlfriend lets boyfriend cut. No, it's not good Can you do a video on dating in your 30s? All of my videos are for dating in your 30s That's why that's why the ones that I did that say um dating for I think 25 and under And dating for 50 and over That's because my audience is in between that. So all my videos apply to dating in your 30s And I think some people didn't realize that Ruby god bless you. I know I always say this but thank you for all you do tony Your yes to jesus has helped so many god bless you and your family jesus name.  Let me see. Uh, janet. I see you right there. God bless you now Tony, how do you feel on cheating? Sierra bless you. Um Now me being on here doing these questions How you you take a wild guess how you think I feel on cheating Um, you you take a wild guess on that one now What does it mean when I said when a man says you're too independent? It's really a compliment. It's really a compliment and a man actually Loves an independent woman An independent woman is always going to be more attractive than old begging woman than old needing woman So he says that but that's really a compliment to you.  I've been trying to get this question in since yesterday How do I introduce your information to my niece who will be 16 soon? Thanks.  How can a man break a soul tie with a woman? He has a six month old with and dated for one year. He's moved out of toxicity and she Isn't taking it well Um, I'm not sure who you you asking this for you or you asking about your man Um, because that's a little Awkward there But to be honest with you that that man really Men don't really break soul ties now. He could break it But the same way that a woman would break it, you know the same Things you will do getting separation getting distance Moving on with his life learning and growing But a lot of top men don't typically break soul ties Actually, god bless you now. I just wanted to send a blessing to you and your family be safe and god bless I appreciate you on that Now y'all hold on. Let me see if I can I'm trying to go in order there I see shon there. Okay. God bless you now What does it mean? Okay, I saw that one What goes through a guy's mind when he's been blocked? Disrespect a man feel disrespected. You know, he feels um He's gonna get angry and if he get unblocked he may be coming back for revenge So you got to be careful when you block a man, you got to mean it You got to mean it Tony I asked a guy if he was bisexual and he danced around the question. What do you think about this? Um Just like what your intuition is telling you just like what your intuition is telling you a man not going to dance around that question He is not going to dance around that question.  So that's an example right there that you could see And and I've seen other guys. It really doesn't affect the man like that it now If the man was if the mom was there like that and then Had three sisters or something like that. I've seen guys It affected guy in that way, but on average Men do they do their own thing anyways? So that's that's it's different then because the mom she's not Him she they don't got the same body parts. So that influence is going to be a little different I let two guy friends view your about men dating video and they were heated afterwards one friend said why didn't Tony do this video Before he got married Hey that when a when a guy get heated by one of my videos, that's what let you know It's the truth Like grandma say only hit the old holla hit the old holla Tish God bless you. Now. Thank you for your video today I had to stop the video a few times and meditate on it because I felt like you were speaking directly to me I felt it in my spirit. I am worthy.  Hey, you are worthy and I was talking directly to you So i'm glad you got that one Meeting long distance for the first time He comes here or we meet in the middle. I'm on the west coast. He's on the east thinking of meeting in texas um He needs to come to you, you know Because he's the man. So he needs to be courty You know, he needs to come to you and then he needs to get a hotel And then when you go see him you meet him in the lobby Then y'all go to the areas that's that's open that you could sit out in your social distance space but You also need to be thinking about that because now he could be bringing the 19 to you And coughing in your face. So you really want to think about what you want to do and if that's really what you want to do Gina god bless you now What do you think of a man who posts half naked pictures? Of his wife for other men to see could he possibly truly love her? Uh, no, he does not love her right now. He is not capable of love He's been hurt so bad and hurting so bad so lost and confused He is not capable of love Because man never going to show men are so territorial That if a man has any feelings for his woman, he's not going to be showing her off like bait Deonti god bless you now is a man insecure possessive territorial And unequally yoked because he doesn't agree with his partner Having male friends They talk and know everything about each other and tell each other they love each other No, you're not insecure possessive territory and all those things Now you may be unequally yoked because if you are with a woman who feels it's okay to have a male confidant that she Telling it all her business to and saying I love you to him You may be unequally yoked. That's that's not your woman and to be honest with you She she do she does love him and he loves her And that energy is just bad energy. She she can't be all she need to be In a relationship and vice versa a man shouldn't be doing that either you cannot be married and in a healthy relationship and having Confidence of the opposite sex outside of your spouse It's just humans not built for that And so that that'll be a that's a disaster waiting to happen If both people in a relationship didn't have standards and didn't heal from past experiences which lead to breaking up Is there a chance it may work out in the future if both people do the work Anything is possible anything is possible But the likelihood of two people two broken people doing the work and getting back together Is is almost slim to none. That's almost slim to none. I never really see that happen in my You know Work of being a relationship coach. That's that's almost slim to none because once you deal with a person and You learn how to speak a language with that person That's the language that you speak with them.  To be honest with you you kind of want to do about 12 sessions Um, just because it takes some time to get all the lessons and get all the knowledge in there and and Something like that is it's okay. Once a month You know to just stay fresh Tonya joining god bless you now. Thank you so much for your godscent wisdom and clear pov. Hey bless you Bless you I see caramel kiss is working hard in the in the chat She's trying to keep the chat clear for me.  Not necessarily You know not necessarily because he could be in a space of healing. He could be in a space of growth It's a red flag if his life is still a mess Like if he's still all over the place if he insecure if he's looking lost like upside down gps Then that's a red flag But if he looked healthy and whole And focused and driven and all of those things then it's not a red flag Some people take that time to themselves to heal and grow She's golden god bless you now. God says I am not ready for a relationship And I only flirted with you to let you know.  You don't have to take my courses other courses out there Mine probably is the least expensive The price goes up on monday So today and tomorrow your last day to take the life coach certification at the current price For those of y'all who are interested it's on tonigashonsacademy.com Coach chris God bless you now besties husband told her he's in love With someone else She wants to stay but it's petty about the other woman To him talks down on her looks past choices. I told her that's a turnoff to be That's a turnoff to her husband and may push him to her correct um If the husband told her That he's in love with someone else then that means he's already gone It ain't nothing she could do that's gonna push him to her. He already going to her So the fact that she's staying trying to compete She's wasting her time. She's playing she's playing herself. He's leaving. It's just a matter of time He's just getting his ducks in a row. But yeah, he leaving now He definitely leaving and if he don't leave he definitely gonna be cheating Going forward a man will never tell a woman that he's in love with another woman Until he completely done with that woman Kim marino God bless you now talking to a guy during the 19 we only met one time Talks about sleeping together and then stops when I don't reciprocate now. He's pulling back He's 45 never married but had a long-term eight-year relationship thoughts He's not looking for a relationship He's looking for a friend with benefits and he sees that you're not with that Being a friend with benefits. So he's pulling back so he could go and find somebody else He's not looking for a relationship especially after being in relationship for eight years And then come in to the next woman and just want to talk about nasty stuff. He's not looking for love Have a male friend for two years now and I have told him How I feel but he says he is not ready for a relationship and neither am I He says I need to work on myself love Myself love, etc.    You're giving him money That's honestly You you're gonna have to work on that and by working on that mean you're gonna have to let him go Let me see now. I'm looking for some good questions. Some of y'all asking three stream of conscious questions That really don't have an answer to Day to three months both in our fifties He asked to sleep together. I said i'm not ready He didn't like the answer and I broke it off fast forward four months. He calls to say he can wait Game or can I give him another chance? Well, I mean, it's like how many options do you have? You know, if you got if you got me and wrapped around the block didn't know But if you don't have any other options and he's saying he could wait He could have had a come to jesus moment. He could have realized that. Whoa, this is a real woman If I want to find somebody I could grow old with right into the sunset This might be the one because all the other women I don't want to try and try to get them in the bed They don't jump in the bed.   She tried to change him and later dumped him He thinks she cheated and is now trying to talk face to face waste Now y'all got to ask questions for y'all You see what I'm saying you and the blessed tribe So your friend your friend don't even Want your answer because the friend didn't ask the question And if your friend want to ask the question then your friend could join the blessed tribe Okay, so y'all ask questions by yourself because this is a waste of my breath to be giving you an answer That your friend ain't even asked and your friend don't even want So y'all understand that now my time more precious to be asking for somebody to answer the question for somebody who ain't even here All right If he has a female friend he won't introduce you to because you said something bad about her What is that about they used to be roommates, but now we live together and have a child Um It's about what you think it's about Him and her got a little something going on It's a little love there a little chemistry there He's protecting her. She's essentially like his side woman, but in the guise of a friend And like I tell you, you know Men really don't have women friends Not heterosexual men Not down low men Men who like men they have women friends, but Heterosexual men who are in a relationship don't have women friends So if a man got a woman that he called a friend and he heterosexual and he in a relationship Him and that woman got something going on and I make sure even with my clients a lot of times I don't have women clients who say Tony, but you my friend And I stop them and I correct myself. I'm not your friend. I'm your life coach I don't have women friends. The only woman that's my friend is my wife That's the only woman. That's my friend. So and I'm 100 straight 100 straight men do not have women friends If that woman over there, she a love interest and y'all don't like to believe that But you ain't got to believe me because I know what I'm talking about and the grown boys They're gonna deny it but they deny it because they know I'm telling the truth And if they deny it it probably because they also like men's so the woman might actually be a friend It seems we are communicating and agreeing only to find out he was only agreeing to please me This has happened more than once is their hope for our communication to become better That's not a bad thing, you know, because to be honest with you, no two humans Really are gonna agree on everything So sometimes you got to agree to disagree and what that means is just not arguing and it's like, okay You can have that and so that's actually smart of him instead of arguing about stuff that does not matter So don't think that communication means that A person has to express every Disagreense they have and they have to tell you everything that they don't agree with because y'all will be arguing all day long So understand that there um New guy in my life. I'm attracted to him new guy in my life. I'm attracted to him Mentally not physically We discussed and he's willing To work on physical by taking care of his health Will this hinder the dating process am I being vain? um, well the bad part about that is when you don't When somebody is not who you want them to be You can't expect a human to change for you So if he doesn't want to if he's not that size or he's not that person Because he doesn't want to be that person He could change and then y'all get married have a child and then you five years down the line he go right back to the Unfit person that he was because that's truly him. You know, that's on the inside of him so You being You're not being vain, but you're unequally yo So if you want somebody that takes care of their body a certain way then wait on that person Because you don't want somebody to try to change their body for you When that just may be how their body sits it may be they could eat anything they could be eating Vegan and still be putting on weight. Just you never know New day to see god bless you now Boyfriend is locked up been reading make it work together answering the questions and he wrote in depth letters about the chapters He says he's starting to understand and it feels different and better.  So you gotta Don't knock them, you know, don't doubt them. Don't don't say to him what i'm saying to you But don't get your hopes up. Don't get all too excited. Don't drop your guard Just keep working out the y'all read make it work.  Have you seen where? Guy and a woman are friends for years, but they never dated years go by and the two end up marrying settled No, I don't really see that not on a You know not For me to bring into my work as the rule, you know as a part of the rule There's exceptions to some rules. So of course that happens, but not enough to Catch my eye, you know, it don't really Happen enough to catch my eye and typically when it does happen. Yes, it is settling Because it's like, hey, we done been friends all this time.  We might as well make this thing work um And what does it mean when a guy says you must miss me because you're irritating today After a minor disagreement and says call me if you want to should I um That really don't mean nothing any It really don't mean nothing Do you have to submit the certificate in order to set up the profile on my mentor? Uh, yes, so you should be able to at the end of the life coaching certification course You could download a certificate and um, then you upload that certificate when you create your profile And if you take somebody else's they should also email you a certificate And remember the price go up monday night. Let me see I dated a guy for almost Six years and he never was ready for marriage. He said that he was a christian And we did not sleep together Why did he not tell me he didn't want to marry me? well He was using you as his hold me down And so that's why I try to help y'all understand that as humans humans by nature Look out for themselves Now you got other type of humans that they care for others and how others feel and what others think And they they are like that but on average humans will be selfish And so he didn't want to be alone And so you being with you were better than being alone But see the thing about it is is you didn't know the rules Of engagement So you gave him four years too many Now that you hear when you move forward, you're not going to be with a man longer than two years Unless marriage on the menu if he hasn't gotten engaged to you within them two years You're gonna move on with your life and so You don't understand that right there Let's see Tony this guy from my home country keeps inboxing me. He's friends with some older cousins I don't want to be rude, but don't want someone possibly wanting citizenship. Should I still speak to him? um No, don't speak to him Because if if you can't look at him and and be attracted to him enough to talk to him And you don't get no feeling like hey, this could be something then don't force it Just ignore you too busy. You got too many people in inbox. You don't even see his messages um God bless you on my mentor for a week Transparent with bio written blog posts post regularly on social media any suggestion to book clients Where it's going to take longer than uh A week, you know, you have the clients going to come on there. They want to see They see you in the back pages. They know you just join So it'll take time to build that trust, you know to be there They may pop back in look at you two or three times in the rules of marketing A person has to see an ad three times before they buy So a client may come and visit your profile three times before you buy So, you know with the amount of coaches on there, you can't really expect to be booked in a week It could take up to six months, you know, but at the end of the day You're still supposed to be marketing yourself outside of my mentor. Don't just depend solely on my mentor. So get your link Your profile link and post it on your facebook Post it on your instagram bio post it on your twitter post it on your link then because you may have people in your network That don't even know you're a coach and then those people will come and book you and They didn't know you were a coach, but now they see they got a place. They can go and read your blogs They can read your bio. They can see your calendar and they could book you right there So don't just depend on the you know the drive-ups A list of god bless you now. Hi, Tony going through a divorce and the loss of my mom all within A few months. I'm a believer in Jesus and have never felt this storm like this any wisdom you can share For someone who can't see light at the end of the tunnel um I don't know if it's affordable, but we got a coach on my mentor She's on the homepage named Amy and I believe she lost her mom her husband And maybe her dad too or grandfather all in the same time period And she wrote a best-selling book called 13 things mentally strong people don't do And she's on the homepage of my mentor named Amy Um, I booked her to do a session with her to talk about mindset. I got my session with her on monday actually Now y'all ain't y'all ain't know that now I booked coaches on my mentor to do me a session Okay, coach be the coach. So I'm gonna be working with Amy, but you know, she's $500 an hour But she also she has a book Oh, that's the other one. I got her book 13 things mentally strong parents don't do but I would say get go through something like that and read the Stories of people who've gone through something similar to you and get that knowledge and sit with it You know and then start to turn the pain into purpose to understand that every step that you're taking It's somebody else that's crawling You know as you start in the walk and you you got to wear with all to be here tonight You got the strength to get up and be here tonight Guess what you stronger than somebody that's laid out in a bed and don't want to do nothing Who going through what you're going through so also start to be a light, you know Post the quotes and the thoughts that come to you As you're strengthening and ministering to yourself because you're going to be Inspiring and pulling other people along and through your pain You start to find purpose and when other people start to say hey I saw what you were going through and when you shared that and when you said what you said to yourself I was on I was On the verge of giving up and it inspired me You know, so keep feeling your mind keep being around positive people and hearing positive things Toni says so many men are dishonest about their status What are the signs that a man is already in a relationship? You know today the guys they getting good So it's going to be hard to tell but the one way you're going to be able to know Is by his consistency and how much time of his that you get If you if you're not getting if a man calling you every other day Then you know he got somebody else If he is available, he's going to call you every day and sometimes that still don't tell the whole story So especially if y'all in the same city what it's going to look like is he calls you every day And he sees you every week. So y'all going on a date every week and he calling you every day That's what it's going to To look and feel like you want you won't be confused about it Hello, how do I move from a calm and quiet separation to speaking about divorce? Divorce talk been separated for nearly a year Um, you know, it just takes a conversation, you know in a time of peace you prepare for war So it's peaceful now. It's calm now.  You know a man is not god You know, you can't be afraid to just speak your mind to a man. You're not yelling You're not cursing. You're not screaming. You're not doing any of that But you can't be afraid to you know, say what you feel and what you think Dean of god bless you now x broke up with me He posted in facebook clean your old clothes To make room for the future. Don't be afraid Clean your old clothes and make room for the future Don't be afraid also post pics wearing new clothing and posting Getting out of my comfort zone. Why is he acting this way? The more important question dina is why are you watching your ex? So you watching your ex and you wasting your time and you taking up your day trying to understand What he's going through When nobody really knows that but him and god So what you need to do is unfriend him on facebook or block him on facebook So you could break the soul time move on You cannot move forward with your life if you still looking backwards. That's your ex and he left you So if he left you that means he doesn't want to be with you So if he don't want to be with you, that's the ultimate form of disrespect So you doing yourself a huge disservice by watching somebody that don't want to be with you And wondering what is he doing? Because he's he's sounding like he don't make no sense to me to be honest with you He's sounding a couple fries shorter a happy meal to me Shawana god bless you now bless you. All right now. Shawana you your phone glitching now. I see you up there two time Does it matter who says I love you first? Shawana, yes, it does matter Um, the man should always say I love you first and the reason being is the man is the one who has to court you The man is the one who has to get on one knee So as a woman if you tell a man that you love him first, but you don't know that he loves you Then you say yourself up for failure because now you didn't gave you didn't gave yourself up You didn't gave away your strength So a man has to being that he's going to be the one to get on the knee Being that he's the one that has to court you always want to let him say I love you first But when he says I love you first, you don't just say I love you in return You let him say I love you then you let him show that he loves you Then when he says it if he continues to say it and you say wow, thank you so much that you know That really means a lot to me. He may ask do you love me? but If you feel it and you honestly love him because of him showing you love then that's one thing to say You know I think I do I do love you But I don't really say it like that because for me It's about showing more so than telling and you just leave it right there. You know, you just leave it right there and see what he does Let me see now How long to wait for a boyfriend to get back on his feet financially? to consider marriage um You shouldn't wait on a boyfriend to get on his feet financially Because to be honest with you unless a man until he becomes a multi multi millionaire You never really on your feet So it's like think about this the stock market went down at 1.40 So that means if a man had a hundred thousand dollars He went down to 60 thousand now. Yeah, it came back a little bit but Probably not for him if when it dropped he panicked and he sold So then he lost 40 thousand dollars And so I say that to say any given day a rich person could be broke Any given day just depends on how bad things get And that same man could have lost his job due to the situation we in and had to cash out You see what I mean? So a man is never really going to be truly In the sense of the word financially stable For him to feel comfortable about marriage If you don't feel comfortable about marriage when you broke Or you just making you working hard and you ambitious you're not going to feel comfortable about marriage when you get money Like money not going to say oh, yes I want to get married so I can risk being in the 50 percent to losing 50 percent of my financial stability No man is saying that so if he don't want to be with you and marry you when he doesn't have much to lose He's not going to feel like being with you when he has everything to lose So understand that when that comes from man, that's really an excuse It's really an excuse Y'all let me scroll up a little bit because I All right, Tony dates x for a month now says he's back with x Doesn't want us to be intimate but wants us to be friends If I need to chat or help with my projects, he's there for me thoughts Let him go He's trying to add you to the roster just in case things with him and his ex don't go right He wants you to be there So he wants you to wait in the wings so if things don't go right he could come back to you So essentially he's a man that is afraid to be alone He hates to be alone and he want to be able to go from woman to woman And he wants you to be right there in the wings and need him and call him and keep it in touch So that when him and his ex argue, which he know they're going to do they're going to argue They're going to fight they're going to fall out. He want to be able to come to you He don't want you to be free and have moved on with your life And now he doesn't have anybody Ace in the hole basically so When a man asks you to wait on him or or hey, you could reach out to me Hey, we could be friends, but he's moving on with his life with another woman You got to wash your hands of him and you got to move on with your life So understand that done Both cheated ready to separate got own apartment hubby mad didn't think I'd leave Says we didn't try to make it work says i'm not humble Not sorry don't care about his feelings can't communicate Is this ego? It could be the truth You know, it could very well be the truth. It's not just that his ego both of y'all cheated so Both of y'all ought to be mad at each other And y'all don't have enough love and so maybe he equates you cheating with You not being humble and not being sorry and not caring about his feelings And not being able to communicate which all of those things are true for a cheater So it's true for him as well as it's true for you because both of y'all cheated Shakita Harris god bless you now lord point and unlike now. I see Shakita facing him a whole lot Lord need to bless you Bless you. Do you have to be in a relationship? Do you do you have to be a relationship coach? To get in with my mentor or can you be a coach of a different? niche uh carolin They let me know you ain't been to the site yet. Is it? So go on my mentor right and then click on hire a coach And then you'll see a thing that says filter when you click on that filter You'll see one of the filters says subject when you click that subject you will see 100 different coaching areas of different coaches we got on there. So it's it's all kind of subjects on there and so You know, everything is not allowed on there because we coaches Princess diamond. God bless you now. God bless. I appreciate that Date of the man a y'all got about 15 minutes left about 15 minutes Shout out to my moderators. I thank y'all for keeping the chat clear y'all could rest Y'all could take the night off. We made it I got a lot of questions in the night. We got 15 minutes left Date of the man for four years. He'd get angry and move out. We broke up for three years. We got back together Date it got married. Then he got mad again and moved out over nothing What is his problem? um, legend he really doesn't have a problem because He has a woman that he can leave Anytime he wants and he could run in and out of your life And he can do what he wants to do with you. He can use you drag you along So he really don't have a problem. He has the life He got the life the problem is your problem because you Tolerating it you sitting there. So see that's we we asked the wrong questions And the same would be if it was vice versa if you were running in and out of his life And he's standing there and he keep taking you back It ain't your problem is his problem So the problem is is that you're not setting standards and that you Have a soul tie and you're not breaking the soul tie And you standing still so that he can come and go as he pleases So really the problem now rests with you So you've got to realize that and say look, what am I doing?  That means y'all done So y'all kept coming together out of a soul tie. That's why y'all were together for years broke up Winter separate way came back some more years got married then he leaves again for nothing That's because y'all were done the first time y'all broke up after being together for years Now that's a lesson for everybody if you get this thing You know three four years and it don't work out keep going about your life Do men prefer a woman with a lot of friends or a woman who is low-key but busy? Uh the latter You know Men understand it's nothing wrong with having a lot of friends But if a woman is focused on her her business her grind And she chill and she buy her business that represents more maturity It represents more self-love. It represents more independence So a lot of times when we need too many friends, that's because we don't like being alone That's because we made it ain't just about being out going and bubbly It's just because we feel lonely It's because we screaming for attention for love for somebody to be there And when you have people that can't never do anything by themselves Always got to have a bunch of friends always got to be loaded up with with all these friends That's not a good sign the person who can step out by they sell The person who can be about their business mind a business be low-key that represents strength It represents independence and represents confidence And that's always going to be attractive to a man because the more friends we have the more open we are You know the more open we are to outside opinions and them opinions could be wrong And so when we have a small circle and we focus about business That's when we become more attractive Andrea God bless you now. I'm just saying thank you to Q&A keeps me grounded. I'm glad it does Some of these questions don't make no sense to me, but I'll be trying to answer them anyways Never knowing that somebody getting something out of the answer, but I appreciate you and that's why I tell folks Everything in for everybody But when it's for the person that needs it it make all the sense in the world So I just answer them even if it don't make much sense to me because I know somebody on the other end might you know hear it Um, Alyssa God bless you now God bless you your family and your ministry I've been soaking up your wisdom these past couple of weeks from your videos God knew what he was doing when he called the gaskins a God bless you I appreciate that blessing you sent there now He saw me talking to my God brother and later text and asked me if If I was a popular person What was he trying to imply? Um If he was trying to imply Do you get around if if that's one way or he could be genuinely Curious if you're a popular person If you got you one of them online boutiques and a lot of instagram followers and people just know you But on the other side of it if he's seen petty then he asking you Do you get around? How do you kind of let someone know it ain't going to happen?  This a grown man His mama customized his daddy customized his coach customized his teacher customized He didn't been there so Never ask or ask yourself. How do I say this to a man? Without hurting his feelings you just say it Long as you're not yelling screaming cursing when you're saying something you know Unless you got to yell and scream and curse because he's trying you physically or he's going too far sometimes you might have to do that But don't worry about how he tastes it.  I really appreciate everything you do I got saved this year. Thank you for reintroducing me to christ. Your work is not in vain Hey god bless you now. I'm glad you came near the cross Let's see bless you.  Thank you for all you do.  I see you in there bless you I had an ex who was very critical about my bedroom skills. I don't have much experience He always expressed how bad it was yet. He always came back. What is that about?  He wants to debase you.  So One thing I want you all to focus on is stop asking Just what does it mean about him and also ask? What does it mean about me? Ask yourself. What did this say about me to be dealing with somebody and putting up with somebody who's talking down to me Breaking me down and keep using me. What does that say about me? And then tap into self love and self respect and start to move forward Wow Some blessings big blessing came in. Wow. God bless y'all not Natasha. God bless you. Thanks, Tony For all you do. I just received a copy of a woman's influence and missus, right Can't wait to soak up now.  Michelle wiles. I see you now Michelle wiles Bless your lord bless her bless her pour out in a life lord Now I'm only on his six more minutes. I might need to get a six minute these last two that came in here not my thoughts All Michelle God bless you now No amount of money or words to let you know how much of a blessing you have been to me through your messages Too much to write but I pray God continues to use you and to have a beautiful Wife Allowing you to share your encouraging messages to us slash me along with your funny jokes and truth God bless you Michelle Hey, I show thank y'all now Natasha Y'all came in right at the buzzer beater and sent me a blessing And that's your old touch my heart now a Bless you and the new members I see the green up there Let me see Jill Okay, I see Jill mariah I missed some of y'all Okay, and Natasha just join or rejoin feel like I've seen Natasha named before All right. Now I got five more minutes. I'm gonna answer some of the Got a few more questions never dated a wealthy guy before Whereas a lot of designer clothing Into finance any precautions worried about the love of money Hey, that's a good thing to be worried about now But you got to now to know if he's into the love of money you got to look at what he does and see if it's you know Equivalent to what he spends So now if he makes a whole lot of money that means him buying designer stuff He can afford that no different than somebody who makes a little bit of money And buying walmart clothes So if the same if it's the same percentage of his income then it's no different than somebody wearing walmart clothes But making a lot less money So that's what you got to look at now if he say I work in customer service I make ten dollars an hour But you always see him in gucci and louis and you know that he bring it home You know five hundred dollars every two weeks six hundred dollars every two weeks And he and he got on six hundred dollar t-shirt from gucci now, you know Some is up the other thing about men who enter all the money and designer and they single It's sometimes that attract a lot of ladies and sometimes guys who did not get their money with a woman Don't know how to handle that attention So that's the other parts you've got to worry about Been engaged three times, but never married. Is that a red flag for a man? Well, they don't have to be really expressed to a man You can just say well i've been through a relationship You don't have to say you've been engaged because a guy may not ask that specific question Have you ever been engaged? He said have you been married? No, I've never been married Because unless you've been married nothing else counting engagement don't don't count Engagement really does not mean anything. It just means like hey, I'm I'm thinking about marrying you. So here's a ring But you don't get any benefits for engagement. So really that's just a glorified dating It's a glorified relationship. So that's not anything to You know put on your resume and say well, I've been engaged three times because now if you say that That is gonna Raise some concern because the person gonna be like so all three times it was his fault all three times Uh-huh. Yeah, uh-huh. And with all these videos that's out here today that's going against women He went yeah, uh-huh three times. It was all it was all they fault So now so you bringing up stuff that really don't even matter that you didn't have to bring up So I would just you know leave that right where it is Um veggie girl. I'm glad I answer your question now before you get to ask them Hey, I sure appreciate y'all now you got to keep Let me let me um I ain't gonna answer no more questions real quick.  Let me talk to y'all about this because I noticed the theme of the night is women standing still You standing still what you gotta remember is that love is the Greatest gift to mankind Love is the strongest force in the world So when it comes to love you will never have to debate and worry about love Like you will never have to wonder if it's love if you got to wonder if it's love It's not love if you got to Fight and toil and go back and forth and y'all break up the makeup three four five six seven years That's not love See what you have to understand is that love is pure All relationships are not pure but love is pure So if you're operating from love and the person you're dealing with is operating from love Then the relationship is going to be happy But it takes two people that want to be in a healthy relationship For the two of you to operate from love Like i'm be honest with you I operate from love That's how I could be on here tonight and been married 13 years and me and my wife We crazy about each other every single day we looking to go on a date every single day We looking to spend time together reason why is because we both want to have a happy healthy whole relationship And we're operating from love and we're looking to be a blessing to one another So like I bless my wife and we spend quality time every day. That's something that money can't buy But then with our earnings that we earn she'll take and I bought her some stuff this week It came in little purse little shirt and then yesterday she bought me a nice watch You know, so she it's like I'm trying to love her.  I got to go. I got to go So y'all understand this stop standing still stop wasting your time stop wondering and worrying about love And just how love Hey, I got to go. I'm only doing um an hour tonight. God bless y'all I'm gonna try to do a lot of tomorrow night. It's the last day of the month If we'll finish out this tough month lot going on in our world We'll finish out this tough month. Hopefully if I can make it now Lord. Well, if I can I'll post it at least 15 minutes before and typically if I'm gonna go live it's gonna be between 7 30 p.m And 9 p.m Will be the start time. So if you check, you know 7 15 and you don't see nothing about 7 30 Then you might check, you know 8 7 45 in between there between 7 30 and 9 if I'm gonna go live I'm typically that's when I'm gonna go and I'm gonna post it if I do something outside of that It's just gonna be a surprise and it might be me and three people on here But thank god bless y'all to the moderators I thank y'all so much to everybody that sent me a blessing and everybody in here in the chat in the That means you a member to bless try So I really appreciate y'all appreciate y'all equally And for those of you who made that extra sacrifice and and you went above and beyond a I appreciate you And y'all remember now monday the life coach certification. It does this next Increase so you got the day in the mar to go to Tony gasses academy dot com And get that life coach certification at that rate. God bless you. We'll talk soon


What's up everybody? Jason from JasperJasperCaseBrace.com. This is a team random for 12 teams in absolute football picker scene number 10 So fills up the break and that'll be doing that after this. So again 12 spots What we're doing here is we're gonna randomize just the names and then you're gonna match them up So number one gets to Jets number two gets to Eagles all the way down to number 12 gets to Washington football team But everybody does get a guaranteed team So here's the dice roller. Here's the customer names again from Mark down to Michael and again We're just gonna match it up with those team names right there perfect roll it Five and a one six times. Good luck one two three Four five six Boom Six times Corey at the top down to Josh boom boom There's everybody right there So Corey congratulations, man. You just won the Jets George with the Eagles Tony with the Packers Josh with the Rams as well as the Lions chat with the Seahawks. Donald with the Panthers chat with the Colts Josh with the Raiders might go with the Saints last Bob Mojo mark with the Giants and Josh with the Washington football team So there you go everybody now coming over next in a separate video is the break itself. Good luck everybody


I get irritated at games that can't make up their mind what their real title is. Here we have Doomtroopers, or is that Doomtrooper? Or Mutant Chronicles Doomtroopers or Doomtroopers Mutant Chronicles? Whatever it is, believe it or not, this game is based on a card game called Doomtrooper as part of the Mutant Chronicles franchise, but this plays like any other side-scrolling run-and-gun game. And for the purposes of this video, I'm just going to refer to it as Doomtroopers. Once you know, that's what the box says, while the Mutant Chronicles is just kind of tucked into the corner there. One glance at this game gives off a distinct impression, hey sweet it's Donkey Kong Country but with automatic weapons and explosions and gore. Well kind of, it's clear they're going for the same pre-rendered look that Donkey Kong Country had, but it doesn't always work. The second level here with the spotlight and the missiles firing at you from the background is a cool touch, but everything looks kind of blurry. And check out this boss fight with this skeleton dude puking on you, but he only has a few frames of animation, as opposed to one of your two playable characters who move fluidly. In fact, most of the enemies in this game have shoddy animations, so the imbalance here really sticks out. In addition to that, Doomtroopers really starts out poorly from a gameplay standpoint, like the first level for instance, share the animations of enemies losing their heads and then exploding into a mess of blood is pretty cool, the first few times you do it. But it's the same enemy type over and over, there's hardly anything else to do, and there's none of the platforming or exploration that comes in games like the Contra or the Turrican series. It's just move from enemy to enemy, from station to station, shoot to kill, it's pretty boring. There is this morbid section here where you jump on dead enemy vessels to cross this waterfall, but it's still just stand there and shoot. It kind of reminds me of the Super Nintendo version of Robocop vs Terminator. Everything feels sluggish and the action is monotonous. They do throw in these hidden areas now and again, but sometimes, like in the first level here, it sends you all the way back to a previous area and you got to work your way all the way back, destroying the same enemies, boring. But hey, the second level introduces two kinds of enemies, how about that? The idea of this level is cool, but enemies can fire at you from off-screen, and that's a cardinal sin right there. There's eight total levels, but even when the game starts to get a little more interesting from a level design standpoint, the platforming here is pretty stiff, like the third level here that makes you do a lot of jumping, and a lot of these jumps are a bit dicey. This is one of those games where they felt the need to have your knees bend before you jump. So there's always a bit of a delay, it's really annoying and I wouldn't be surprised if this is the point where most people decide to turn this one off. But this game isn't totally broken, the button layout is at least handy, with the R button serving as an aim lock so you can fire in all directions, and the L button functioning as a punch so you can push enemies off ledges, you know so you don't have to stand there shooting them a hundred times waiting for them to finally die, or you can use up to ten missiles that you can find here and there. There are two playable characters, but I'm not sure there's much of a difference between the two, or at least not enough to recommend one character over the other. And there is two player co-op here, which is nice. You start out with only one continue, but you can earn more as you progress, and there is a password system to save your progress. I'd have to say that Doomtroopers is a good example of a contra clone that plays much better on the Sega Genesis than it does on the Super Nintendo. For one thing, the wider resolution on the Genesis allows you to see more of what's ahead, and gives you more time to dodge projectiles. Also the game just plays faster, so the action is way more intense instead of a slog like it is on Super Nintendo. Yeah, there's still the same enemy types throughout the game unfortunately, but it's just a better experience on Sega Genesis. So yeah, Doomtroopers is pretty flawed. While the death animations are cool, the sound design is pretty well done, the music is decent, it's multiplayer, and the backgrounds and environments are nice looking. Doomtroopers plays like a bad version of Earthworm Gym. It's okay as a game if you can get past how stiff the platforming is, and you get used to holding the R button down to aim, but it's really not any better than stuff like Time Slip or Realm, both of which I looked at a few months ago. And honestly, I think I'd rather play Realm than this one. Doomtroopers may look like Contra meets Donkey Kong Country at first glance, but don't be fooled, keep your expectations in check here.


Hi everyone, welcome back to Prime 5, the 5 biggest news stories for Nintendo in the last 24 hours or as our Monday episode does is sort of the 5 biggest stories from over the weekend. However, a lot of this stuff is actually quite fresh in our minds. We have huge ones today from Splatoon 3 leaking, Nintendo employees actually paying attention to what fans are doing and saying on the internet and proof of that and so much more. More stuff on Zelda as well. What are you doing? If you enjoyed this video drop a like, subscribe and let's get into the news. Well our first story deals with hey, you know what, another Switch game has leaked on the internet. Now look, brand new Switch games leak on the internet all the time and this week we have Splatoon 3 coming out on Friday, so of course some retailers have broken Street Date and because Street Date has been broken we now have this game out in the public, people have been buying it for extra money online, some people have just been lucky enough that their pre-orders are here early, it's going to be leaked all over the internet. Everything about the single player mode, the whole story is going to leak, it is what it is. Splatoon 3 is just the latest victim of every Switch game in the world leaks. Yeah, I don't know what's going to happen when Breath of the Wild 2 leaks, I think it might actually break the internet. We now might know the actual title for the Super Mario Brothers movie. That's right, remember that Mario movie that's coming out next year starring Chris Pratt and a whole bunch of other star-studded cast members. Well we probably know the name of the movie and it makes some sense, it's quite simplistic. Technically, it was originally leaked through a new UNO set coming out for the Mario movie that's just called the Super Mario Bros movie UNO, right? That's just the name of the set, that's already been leaked, we already know that's true. Well on Illumination's French website, it turns out that they actually have the movie listed there by title as Super Mario Brothers. Now, this title hasn't actually been updated on that website for a while because it still has the December release date listed, it doesn't have the new release date happening in 2023. Still, the original Super Mario Bros movie that released way back when was just called Super Mario Bros. We had the Super Mario Bros. Super show at one point as well, so this movie just being called simply Super Mario Bros. Yeah, I guess it just sort of makes sense, it's really simple and I mean come on, they just called the Sonic movie Sonic the Hedgehog. So, sure, yeah, this just makes sense. Now today I'm happy to talk to you about a brand new game called World of Atenna. So it's coming to Switch and other platforms in 2023. It's an open world RPG inspired by Skyrim, however you see it's kind of a sprite style. It's creative at 81 monkeys who have the game on Kickstarter. It's already reached its Kickstarter goal with 18 days to go. Everything in their stretch goals, however, they claim will be their day one. They're not planning for far-off content that could need more money down the line to finish and if you were wondering if this is one of those Kickstarter scams like it's just an idea of a game, they've actually already been working on the game for three years. Now here is how they describe the game. They say a diverse and living world, explore a vast world with oceans, continents, regions, castles and towns, mountains, caves and dungeons.  NPCs live out their lives following daily routines, while also responding dynamically to events in the world as well as the player. World of Antara is built to be explored freely and at your own pace. It has a deep and inspiring non-linear story. The story inquests follow non-linear divergent paths. So you can go where you want and talk to whoever you'd like. Your story will unfold naturally based on the paths you choose to follow. It has conversational dialogue, a unique way to converse with NPCs that allows players to have a more conversational experience. With every character in the game, we ditch the overly wordy, linear dialogue experience of modern games and design a completely new retro-inspired system. It has fast and fluid party-based combat, leveraging our vast experience across many genres of gaming, including casual and social games. Combat is designed to be fun no matter how many hours you put in. With streamlined UI and engaging feedback, satisfying and accessible user interface. Our design skills really shine here. We have designed an interface with the least amount of UI and words as possible. Instead of menus and lists, we've leveraged true-to-our-world items and intuitive icons to create a wonderful user experience. Our interface is so much fun, it could be a game on its own. I was really excited about it. You've seen some footage. This really excites you to kind of put this one, maybe jot it down somewhere, something to look forward to next year. Now, have you ever wondered if Nintendo employees are paying attention to us? I know I have. I know we know all about the Nintendo Ninjas that supposedly go out there and shut down certain things that they don't like being out there in maybe some very interesting ways. But we're not talking about the Ninjas. Actual, high-end Nintendo game producers are apparently paying attention to what the hell we're saying. How do we know about this? Well, thanks to none other than Emily Rogers, famed insider, she used to work at a place called Reset Era, which was a spin-off board from NeoGaff when NeoGaff's owner was going through some controversies. And at Reset Era, all of your accounts have to be approved manually, and you have to verify who you are.  And apparently several Nintendo employees, high-up Nintendo game producers, are on Reset Era because Emily Rogers herself had to approve and verify those accounts.  Now, this is because naturally the Nintendo employees didn't want it to be known publicly who they were. This is just to create that degree of separation between the fans and Nintendo, and obviously make sure that anything they say can't just be traced back to Nintendo, and all of a sudden Nintendo looks like a bad guy. So yeah, there was a degree of separation, but still, Nintendo employees were directly and still are directly interacting with fans on Reset Era, but also it was hinted that that's not the only place that Nintendo's doing this. They're doing this on Twitter, they're doing this on YouTube. They're watching YouTube videos and commenting on those YouTube videos and responding to comments on those YouTube videos and reading all of those comments as well. And not just on the big boys, like say Beat'em Ups or GameXplain or whatever, they're actually going all the way down to sub 100,000 YouTube channels. I've actually heard all the way down as low as 10,000 subscriber YouTube channels. They are whatever comes across their way, they are well commenting and paying attention and listening to what content creators have to say. Now how much of an impact all of us have collectively on the direction of games? I don't know, but if it ever sounds like, oh man, Nintendo is listening to us, maybe it's because they were listening to us when they give us something that we want. Kind of crazy, right? So imagine that we're talking right now about Nintendo employees watching videos as they're watching my video right now. That's pretty crazy, isn't it? Maybe next time you're arguing with someone on the internet about Nintendo stuff, realize you might be arguing with somebody who actually works at the big end. And our last story deals with a brand new batch of rumors surrounding Breath of the Wild 2. All of these rumors come from Game Over. Jesse, and yeah, put your tinfoil hats on, do whichever you need to do. I'm not even saying believe them, they're rumors. I can't verify any of this. Heck, it doesn't seem Jesse can verify any of it. So let's dive into what he revealed in his latest video. So Breath of the Wild 2 will have a trailer at the next Nintendo Direct that'll have new gameplay and cinematics, showing off new abilities, items, and locations from the original Breath of the Wild that have been updated or changed. The ending of the trailer will have the official title and a release date. They will tease more information that will be coming soon. So supposedly this information that we're getting in September was supposed to happen in June. There's actually gonna be a second Direct in January with a new trailer, new game updates, and new Zelda amiibo. They claim this would be a Zelda only Direct, though the Direct hasn't been finalized yet and could just end up being turned into a series of social media drops throughout January. However, they are planning a Treehouse Live event showcasing the game at the end of January or early February. Now the source on this for me is Game Over Jesse, but he actually went and gave his opinions on this and what he admitted to is that he combined multiple sources to gather on this. Some of them are known and reputable, such as Jeff Grubb. Obviously we know about this since he's the one who told us about the game title possibly getting revealed, but he does note that he does think that all of this combined is just too much exact information for it all to be real in his mind. Not that some of it doesn't hold some truth. Rumors are what they are. It's just important to remember in situations like this that Jesse is just sharing the information that he's seen reported out there, combined with some people contacting him privately. He doesn't really know if any of it's real. He just thinks it's interesting to talk about. We should start seeing a ramp up for Breath of the Wild if it is coming this spring very soon, maybe even starting with this direct. So this information could all be cool. It could all be real. It could also be fake. I have no idea. Anyways, guys, thank you so much for tuning in. I am with Andrew Roblojans from Nintendo Prime. Guys, thank you so much for supporting the channel and enjoying these episodes. I'll catch you in the next video.


Okay, so qualitatively, at least, we understand the condition that a reaction should obey when it's at equilibrium. That should be when its free energy is at a minimum. So more quantitatively, we can say that when the rate of change of the free energy as I change the extent of reaction, if I move a little bit forwards or a little bit backwards, if that rate of change of the Gibbs free energy is zero, when I do that reaction at constant temperature and pressure, then that's our condition for being at equilibrium. So in order to understand how to use that in an actual chemical system, let's see if we can understand what this condition, equilibrium condition means. We can start with the fundamental equation for the differential change in the Gibbs energy. That's going to be minus S dT plus V dP. And since we have a multi-component system, I need terms that look like chemical potential times the change in number of moles for each of this species, each of the components in my chemical reaction. We've specifically talked about the change in the free energy at constant temperature and pressure. So that simplifies this equation a bit. When I'm at constant temperature and pressure, dT is equal to zero, dP is equal to zero, and I can say that dG is equal to just the chemical potential term, some of the chemical potentials times the change in number of moles. So let's see what this looks like for an actual chemical reaction so we make sure we understand what that equation means. So if we stick with our chemical reaction that looks like H2 and Br2 reacting to form HBr. So the species we're talking about are H2 and Br2 and HBr. So the sum over species, chemical potential times change in number of moles, that's going to say the differential change in the Gibbs energy is going to be chemical potential of one component H2 times the change in number of moles of that component, plus chemical potential of Br2, change in moles of Br2, plus chemical potential of HBr, change in moles of HBr. So that's just a literal interpretation of what this equation says. But of course, when I undergo a chemical reaction, H2 and Br2 forming HBr, the change in moles of H2, change in moles of Br2, change in moles of HBr, those are all coupled to one another. I lose one mole of each of the products, of each of the reactants each time I gain two moles of product. So that's encapsulated in the fact that as we talked about when we define the extent of reaction and define this reaction notation, the change in number of moles is a stoichiometric coefficient times the change in the extent of reaction. So again, that feels a little abstract so let's make sure we understand what that means for this concrete specific case of this chemical reaction. The change in moles of H2, change in moles of Br2, change in moles of HBr, those are all related to one another. If I have some particular change in extent of reaction, the extent of reaction shifts a little bit forwards, a little bit backwards by some amount d-squiggle, then the stoichiometric coefficient for H2 is negative one. It's a reactant. So every time the reaction goes forward c times, I lose negative that many moles of H2. Likewise for Br2, change in moles of Br2 is its stoichiometric coefficient negative one multiplied by the change in the extent of reaction. With product HBr, I gain moles of HBr every time the reaction proceeds forward. So this notation, number one, couples these amounts together. They're all proportional to one another using the stoichiometric coefficients. It also allows me to define the change in extent of reaction. I can shift squiggle forwards. I can make the reaction go forwards in case I'm losing reactants and gaining products or if dc d-squiggle is negative, if the reaction is going backwards, dc is negative and I'll be gaining reactants and losing products. So with those substitutions, I can insert dNH2 is equal to negative d-squiggle here and this equation becomes muH2 times negative change in extent of reaction and then a negative change in extent of reaction times mu of Br2 and then a positive two mu of HBr times dc. That now that I've written all these in terms of change in the extent of reaction, I can rewrite this equation factoring out those dc terms. So I've got minus muH2 minus mu Br2 plus twice chemical potential of HBr. All of those multiplying dc, that's my change in the Gibbs free energy. Now remember the reason we started talking about the change in Gibbs free energy is I know that at equilibrium change in Gibbs free energy with a certain amount of change in the extent of reaction, that derivative is equal to zero. So now this equation I can just take that derivative, I can divide dg by dc, do that at constant temperature and pressure, which is when this equation is valid. At equilibrium dg, dc will be equal to zero and that derivative dg divided by dc is just negative muH2 minus muBr2 plus twice mu of HBr. All right, so that's what this equilibrium condition looks like for our specific reaction, the H2 and Br2 reaction. If I switch back to the general case, so maybe now it won't feel as abstract with this example to keep in mind, if I insert this dn into this expression to find that dg is equal to sum of mu times dn, but dn is equal to nu times d squiggle and that squiggle I can pull out of the parentheses just as I did over here, that's enough for me now to take this derivative dg with respect to dc and learn that that derivative is equal to zero when this quantity in parentheses is equal to zero. Sum, and I'll actually switch these around because I like them better in the other order, stoichiometric coefficient multiplying chemical potential. That matches the form I have it in over here, stoichiometric coefficients of negative one, negative one, positive two, multiplying chemical potentials of each component. Same thing is true here, I'll put this equation in a box because it's relatively important. This is our condition for chemical equilibrium. This statement says when the sums of the stoichiometric coefficients times the chemical potentials all add up to zero, the reaction is in equilibrium. You can look at this specific case and see that that makes a fair amount of sense. I am at this equilibrium point, my free energy is not going to change when I shift the reaction a little bit forward, a little bit backward as long as the amount of chemical potential that I lose when I consume 1H2 and Br2 is exactly balanced by the amount of chemical potential that I gain when I create two molecules of HBr. That's all this equilibrium condition says is the total change in chemical potential when I generate products and consume a stoichiometric amount of reactants, that doesn't end up changing the net total chemical potential or the net free energy of the system. This equilibrium condition, we can use that to identify when we're at equilibrium. If the sum is equal to zero, then we know we're at equilibrium. We can also use it to predict when a reaction will reach equilibrium, in particular we can predict what the extent of reaction will be that will result in this condition being true. That will get a lot less abstract when we do a particular example, so that's what we'll consider next.