That's all I mean to God. Andrew Schultz.  Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website and gauges your audience and sell anything from products to content to time. All in one place, all in your terms. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial when you're ready to launch.   Let's start the show. Hazakaya Walker. What's up, sir? Man, we have a guest today, a man who we've spoken about on Brilliant In His Podcast on numerous occasions. He's given us so many hilarious moments over the years. He's one of the best standup comics alive. When did you ever, when did you ever? He's one of the best standup comics alive. When did you ever? One of the best standup comics alive. Best standup comics alive. Nobody fucks with him on that stage. Man, I'm going to tell you something else. One of the most naturally funny people alive. Naturally funny people alive. Seen him on Guide Code. He was a judge on Guide Court. People know him from being Ashie Larry on Chappelle Show. We don't know about that. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We've seen him as Ashie Larry on Chappelle Show and he's got a fantastic Netflix special out right now. Out right now. This is a new day. Out right now. Daniel Rowland. Rowland. Yay. Bram, bram, bram, bram. I really appreciate that. That is the most honest. I know why you foolish it, because that is the most honest. Damn, no, we can't even make it. He can't take love. You don't. Daniel cannot take love. Why can't you take love? I can't take love. Y'all, man, can you just tell him how you feel about him? He gives me all the time. And why is it so negative? Because he can't help it. That's just how he's wired. I don't know why. He wants to have this trauma. He wants people to think, oh, nobody likes me. You're hilarious, Donnell. Donnell. Let me show you. I love you. You can't lie about being hilarious. You've got a whole Netflix special. Everybody sees you. I feel like I'm getting jumped. All right. What you're saying? I love you. I feel like, no, y'all leading up at the same time and everything. We love you. We're leading into the love. Now you're leading into it. Can you lean back? Well, what I'm saying is that's the old Donnell. That the old Donnell was very sensitive. And I came here with a different attitude. And I want to show you love too. And I brought you a gift. I brought you a gift. You're re-gifting. No, I gave you a gift. I gave you a gift. I'm Bobbie and Mark on one of the biggest tours in the country called the Black and Mild Tour. There you go. And I wanted to give you that. There you go. There you go. There you go. And also, because I'm very, very mild. You're re-gifting. I'm not re-gifting. I gave them all of this stuff early. You're re-gifting. This is what I am. Yo, I just want to say. This is what I'm saying. You and a lot of people inspire me so much. And everyone knows I'm a fan of Mild Souls, right? So, Peggy, I have a collaboration idea, because a lot of people don't like things so spicy, Andrew. You know that, right? And it's safe as a black man to appeal to every culture. You want to keep it right in the middle. That's why I'm going to go on tour. This is going to be one of my sponsors. This is where you got into a fight in Pennsylvania. I did. Yes. And but it doesn't stop here, Sharron. But you didn't even think about that. I bought this for you because you got into a fight in Pennsylvania and it's mild.  That's it. This comes out after this club. All right. It's another thing. Got it! So, I got to say something, too. Oh, yes, please. This is more emotional. This is more fitting for where your life is right now. Oh, thank you very much. All right. It's a candle that I got. I would love a Donna Rawlings candle. That's not just a special one. What does it smell like, Donnell? You didn't have to do a sniff test and tell yourself. Oh, wow.  Look, look, DILF candle. Oh, I thought it said DILF. But look what it says. Dick, I love fucking. Why would you sell candles? That's almost kind of gay. I thought this was a place for truth. Gay is in, bro.  I only if you want to be in the movies.  That is so awful. That is so awful. It says, look, look. Dick, I love fucking. Go close. What does it say? Oh, it doesn't say. Oh, I thought it was serious. It don't say it doesn't say.   Yeah, I'm proud of it being emotional. He know you want to tear up right now. No, this is beautiful. It says dedicated, involved, loving father, DILF. And I did that. DILF, baby. And I started saying that acronym.   But, you know, first off, it was dope that you, when you got married, you did it the right way. You got married, and then soon after that, you had a kid. And you did reach out. And you said you were proud. I don't comment on too much or nothing, but I said that. That meant a lot. What did he say? What did he say?  I'm most proud of you four, though. And that was far.  You know, you could be proud of me for everything. No, I'm not. No, I'm just. Now we're getting to honesty.  Now we're getting to honesty.  You know, I don't want for me to say those things.  And then I was like, and then I was like this, white boys love this nigga, right? Get out of there. I saw a 50 cent tweet.  I was like here in my community, stay over there with Taylor Smith.  Get me the buttons and all them niggas. Next to you know, this.  But you was running. I got to say, I'm proud of you.  I was on Ganko too. Nigga, what happened about that? What you mean what happened to your career? You have a great career.   He went independent and did it all himself. I don't need the industry. Oh, no. Oh, no. You know what?  I'll do it on my own. And Netflix had to circle back and still give him a special.  He was sitting down. Why are you arguing with me? This is what I'm talking about. A lot of people around here making excuses. Here's an example of a Caucasian white man that figured out how to work the system and not wait on Hollywood. He's not sitting behind a desk talking about this person passed me, this person passed me. And this is what we need to do as communities and everybody, guess what he did? And this is a lesson for everybody.  But what did he use? What did he use, Donnell? His platform. What was the platform? It was a whole bunch of platforms. Oh, you guys, together. No. It's really influential friends. YouTube and podcasts. I never argued that. What are you talking about? Can you calm down? No, just earlier you said... Can you calm down?  I have a Netflix special. That's what you said. What I said for. And who did I say it for? Corey Hogan. All right. Now we want to address it. You did it. I didn't. No, wait a minute. I didn't. I didn't. Yo, he's the funniest, bro. He's not the same conversation. He might be the funniest, bro. I'm telling you. He might be the funniest. What I'm saying is, that's a different thing. He's not the same conversation. He might be the funniest, bro. He might be the funniest. Yo. That's a different conversation. You can't... What I'm saying is... Oh. Y'all want to address it? I've been talking about the last 10 minutes. Yo. All right. Y'all want to address it? We can address it. What is it?  There is a difference. Yeah. Madonna, we're not about to sit here and do a Corey Hogan. I'm not. He asked me. Yo. I speak... I'm like a rapper. I'm shooting shots. Subliminal. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about. You're four foot two with a perm. You know what I'm talking about.  You know what I'm talking about. I'll hear you reading books. 4,000 books. 4,000 books. With a perm. I see you out there. Me at the track. I raised you, nigga. Boy, boy. I didn't say nobody name. That's true. I didn't say nobody name. You got no clue what you're talking about. Nobody knows what you're talking about. None whatsoever. I'm talking about the difference. All right. Okay. The difference is, let's talk about something else. But you... No, no, because you wouldn't round me. You got to let you do it. No, you ran that circuit. You ran that circuit. Right. You had a podcast under Joe Rogan's network. Yeah. What about it though? What are you saying? I'm saying you was in that same network. This is what you said. No, this is what you said. What was his name? This is what... Brett Chrysler. This is what you said. I can't remember. Brett Chrysler. I'm sorry. No, this is what... What you said was you... I didn't speak down on a person with a YouTube or a podcast.  And in this situation, I'm saying this situation, that's what they do. Right? That's what they do. They'll let it go. Yo, how many movies do you need... Okay. Well, the number is...  Two movies? I've never done that.   Like, you go to a club as a two-drink minimum, right? But in the world, if you go to a set, it's a three-dick minimum. Wow. You know what I'm saying? That's what the streets are saying. So you have three dicks in you to do one movie? No, no, no, no. And we're going to keep this very heterosexual, right? Yeah. Why? The reason why white people are very comfortable. Doing what?  So are you! Or even borderline of it, or even thought of it. They don't really care about you having the thought of it, whatever. But black people, it's a very sensitive issue. And why is it so sensitive?    Okay, the streets, what I'm saying is, they're going to say this, Andrew. They're going to say this.  They're going to say that. Like, what? No!   What?  I know. I know mans isn't them.  I know that. See? What? What?  You heard it? Yeah, I know. Them niggas is getting it popping, too. But, you know, that's the one we're here to talk about. But why do you think, why do you think just talking about cocks around you would make people... Damn! No, no. Yo. You've been a bit... The fact, the fact, this is what I know, that you have crossed over. And it's over. You're comfortable with it. Look, I'm still tight. That is true. He's like this. He's like, yeah, all right, so what's the problem with that? He talks about it more than me. He loves talking about cocks.  You went wet? I know. I got a... It's his long story. That is crazy. Yeah, he had a story. And it was some guy got a scorpion... Tell him the truth. The scorpion bit his balls. Tell him the truth. And then you went further to say, well, how about his balls? No. Tell him the truth about the week you spent in jail in Pennsylvania. And it was the guy that was in the cell with the scorpion tattoo on his balls. Donnell Scott. Tell him the truth down there. Donnell Scott. Don't try to put this on me. The streets are gonna say that Charlemagne was talking about cocks. The streets know Charlemagne was talking about cocks. Okay, so it's fine. Yeah, it's fine. So he doesn't get judged by that? I'm from South Carolina. No, but they just gave up. The game cocks.   Yeah, loves cocks. No, what it is, they just gave up. That's my wife on my model. The cocks.  Yeah, yeah. They gave up. Who gave up? The people that would get upset because they know that you're not going to stop. No. So they just gave up.   Yeah, but I'm not enjoying this.  I've already been in three movies, big. I can't deal with this. Before the podcast started, you said Palatio was on fire in these streets. You said it's a new black. You said Dixie. What did you mean by that? I said the conversation, like every reference, everything that has to do with success or anything, people associate that with you having to or somebody gave somebody Palatio or Palatio was involved with it. That's what I said. For the last two weeks, every story, especially in our community, has had something to do with Palatio. I think it's just you. Come on. I think it's you. Everybody will get it. Everybody will get it. Who is doing this? I think it's you. I thought it was Chris. Yo. I'm like, yo, Chris is. What's up? I need some headphones. I need some headphones.  Somebody set me up, man. Somebody set me up. No, it was you on TMZ. You went on TMZ. I didn't know anything about it. I want you to think about this for a second. I'm minding my business. I see my guy, Don L. Rollins, on TMZ. I watch. I have no idea what you're talking about. Support.  You've been in the movie.  Yeah, that's a good point. I didn't understand it. Why? What do you think about this picture right here? Do you think that picture shows the relationship that Charlemagne and I have? What picture shows that somebody's about to be in their third movie? I'm not going to say which one. One of them is waiting for audition. That's what that shows. Somebody's like this. I got to get this wrong. Somebody's like, I don't know. I don't know. Somebody's like this is the one. You think that's too tender? Yeah, that's tender. That's borderline three movies. Why is that tender? That's love, man. Yeah, I can't too far. That's tender.  That's love. You don't see that. You don't.  Look how he drinks water. Look how he drinks water. Ain't that a little gang? Just the way he drinks water. No, no, no. He's cut. Why you got to stand up just now? What are you doing? What are you doing, huh? No, no. You got to do a job. You got to do a job. Your hand is on his belly. I had to look. Your hand is being cupped, son. Because we were reenacting the Michael B. Jordan, Jonathan, Majors picture. Remember the picture? We don't need it. We just wanted love. And you were doing that. And then what was the feedback for that? So you wanted to follow that? Mm-hmm. That's the suit you want to follow? Well, you did a great job. It looks very... That's what satire is all about. Listen, Andrew Schultz went viral, right? I mean, he goes viral often. Yo, free meek, man. Stop bullying meek. You got upset because you saw 50 poster bottom. I didn't get upset. Let's shout out fifth. Yeah. What did you... Let's play the joke. I want to know as a comic, because you say comic shouldn't critique other comics. I'll tell you what I felt when I first saw it today. Okay, let's hear it. Let's play it for the audience. We don't got to play it. This is so awkward watching your own joke. Everybody hear it. No, it's not. No, it's not. And he was in Philly. Let's set the stage, yo. You said this in Philadelphia. I saw somebody say, Andrew and Meek don't have the same audience. Can I say this? Yes. All right, let's rewind it. Okay. Rewind it. And meek. I was getting crazy. Meek. Look at my hands. Look at the picture down there. I see it. All right, back it up. Okay. Back it up. Back it up. Me, we're in the locker room. All right. And I got to show you something. What I know is a lot of people didn't see this when it first starts. Go all the way in the back. Press play. All the way to the beginning. Yeah, press play. Press play. Press play. You'll be good. You'll be good. You'll be good. Press play. I was like, you need milk. It was hot. Stop it right here. Stop it right here. See that? I would fans, right? From hard work.   Andrew fucks with everybody. But I say you asked me to do it. I said first thing. I think he's doing a subliminal thing again. First thing you got to see. First thing you got to see. This is an audience.  Okay. Run into it. This is hilarious. Maybe the worst in history of doing this.  You don't get on Twitter though. You know what? Put these on watches. It's all juicy and light. It's my favorite thing to buy.  He tweeted that.  He thinks that's disgusting. And you know who else thinks that's disgusting? This is a gaze. A gaze. I stop it right here. No, hold on. Hold on. This is the funny part. I thought you don't like watching yourself. Well, this is the only part I like. This is me, bro. You're not here for me. This is me, man. He's done a lot of things. Right? You know what? I'm going to do it now. Right? You know what? I'm going to do it now. I'm going to do it now. Right? You know what? I'm going to do it now. We need them on the street. We want the bustin' cheeks. That's funny. But listen. Can I say what I want? That was white privilege. That was... You made that joke. Every dream Chasing in the world be after you. Not look at... I can do it. But look at what Meek said. Meek laughed at the joke. Meek didn't just laugh. What did he say? Meek added to the joke in a way that he Oh, I thought you were doing it. You know, but here at Great Synthy Humor, this is what we should be able to do, make fun of people. I'm with you. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. When you watch this comment who's sitting right here, first off, first off, it's easy. Let me say this. It's easy to come. It's easy just to riff on topical things. It's certain things that come out in the news. And you can just say, meek meals and everybody going to laugh. But he took it beyond that. He took it to that, to a structured joke with a callback, with a punch, with a point. You know what I'm saying?   This is hot on the news.  You're taking a chance. Fresh out the oven, yeah. You're taking a chance. You didn't go to a club or anything. It's like, I feel, I feel.  I'm going to stick to my guns. And I took a chance. Everybody's not fearless like that. And one thing I can say about your comedy is like, you have been through, I don't know what, the equivalent of white people mud is. You know. I don't know what y'all mud is. It's more like sand. Yeah, sand. It's a big sand. It's a bermuda or something like that. You know what I mean? I don't know what y'all mud is. But that's what I see with that. And then here's the thing.  No matter how hard it is to, if the joke is good, it's a good motherfucking joke. If you laugh, that should be the criteria. You can't, I don't like people who laugh and then think about it after and then start feeling offended. No, if you laughed, that's what it was to begin with. And that's what I thought Meek did. That's why I was like, OK, leave this dude alone. Why is this going so crazy? I'll give you an example. Give you reason Meek can't help himself. Look at that first line right there. Read that first line.  Like, god damn.  That's, he had to say that. There was nothing else to say. We know what he meant, Sharla. No, not at a time like this. That could work, man. Yeah, it's every word, man. No, but it's fun, but just like what you said, I understand that, and I had a similar situation with my special, right? It is something like, when you do something like that, you wonder like, oh, these motherfuckers, you're not, it's not going to stop you.  And then somewhere in the side of you say, if the motherfucking got a sense of humor, he'll know. He'll laugh at it. Pull that funny back up, Taylor.  Right?   I was like this. But I said, I was very, I was very like smart. I didn't go, and I can't bash him because a lot of things that he say are true. It's just one little thing that I disagree with him on. I said that I was like- Snow bunnies? Yeah, the snow bunny joint, right? Ah-ha, same. Yeah, ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha. Yo, Dr. Umar! He won't be swimming in the milk or anything like that. But the thing about it was, I was like- Ah-ha, ah-ha. When I wrote the joke, when I wrote the joke and when I put fun, I was like, man, I know this motherfucking is a serious brother. But I'm saying he got to understand funny is funny. And then they didn't take, I knew it wasn't going to take too long. Maybe two days later. He reposted it. He reposted it. And I didn't even know that he reposted of him Washington, right? And this is why I know he had a sense of humor because I did the serious stuff. 95, I did that. And you can hear him in the background. I said, oh, here it comes, here it comes. He knew the punch was going to hit. I hit it. But I'll tell you one thing about his timeline. That's the most smiley faces he's seen on his timeline like two years ago. Because it's funny. Funny is funny. I'm going to win, yeah. Funny's going to win. Now, this was crazy too.  But then he said, but don't with me in real life, I may swing. LOL. I know what he means because I understand that language. He's saying I may swing a punch. What if you're- No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. I didn't even know that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What he's saying? He's saying he's like, oh, yeah, like it's a joke. No. I understand. He's saying you're fast. I may swing. Wait a minute. Yes. Yes. Yes, man. Yes, man. That's what I'm talking about. No. Man, Kyle's and grandma matters, Meek. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This would have been a great- No, I was like this, hold up, wait, wait, no, no. Kyle, you did it four inches, he said. Hold on, hold on, wait, wait, yeah. Pause, Meek, pause. Yes, man. But I just assume, to his point and to your point. Free Meek. At first I saw it, when I saw, I may swing. Free Meek, bro. I thought like, swing. That's what he meant. No, he did mean swing. He meant that. But the top and the bottom of this tweet is gay, ironically. Okay, but the LOL, the LOL puts everything in perspective. No, it don't. Yes it do. You don't put the LOL on there, then it's a fight. Yo, what if you meant to do all this? Like what if this was done on purpose and the LOL was to let you know it's a joke? This is genius. Yo, Meek might be a marketing genius. I mean, listen, we can't stop talking about Meek. Hey. That's the thing, Meek knows how to use social media. Cause personally, I took Meek's phone away a long time ago, especially at a time like this. The best way to not feed into any sort of allegations about you when they not true is don't respond to me. You know what he should have done?  That's the hardest thing to do when you evoke, that's the hardest thing for me to do is not talk about who I don't want to talk about. I know it doesn't. You are perfectly over here. No, because I don't. You have shown us that this week. Yeah, but I like, like. You should have seen him in Becker's Club interview. He was like, he was like, and I know what you want to ask me. Like somebody who I'm talking about. He was like, what you mean, comedian's beefing? Nobody said anything about that. I already knew what was coming. No, it wasn't. But that's, I know. Okay, all right. We want to talk about your special. You're right. Your successes. So the gifts you gave me was you want to talk about new day. Listen. Why didn't you bring Meek here? Eight. Eight. You gave me eight. Just so you want to talk about my special, nigga. And I knew you was going to do it because I heard the episode before this. And you was talking.  I heard you, son. I was like trying to get ready for you while you were getting ready for me. You was on.  New day on Netflix right now. Go watch it.  I thought that was genius. I was like, yo, that's genius. When you kept hashtagging black and mild, I'm like, that's what he's doing. He should own it. You're leaning in. You're leaning in. So I said, I'm going to rip off the mild stuff.  What do you mean? They believe this bull shit's story.  What I did was I flipped it. Yes. I flipped it. And I thought that was genius. And you know I flipped it too wet. Okay. Let's get to it. All right. Get to what? Get to what? Get to what? So, you know. I just want to get to it. I just want to get to it. I just want to get to it. Get to what? And when they can do this, they get to it. You know. So, okay. Let's get this correct. So you knew the mild reference. Yes. What's reference? Let's get silent. Just got one of the steps. Come on. So you knew the mild, black and mild reference I was using was basically turning lemons into lemonade out of the situation. Right? And you know the situation was triggering to me. I know what that triggered. Let's just talk. Yo, I'm your therapist right now. Let me talk. Let's just talk. Let's just talk. Okay. You knew what's triggering to me. You knew what's triggering to me. You know I'm sensitive. We've had experiences. Yes, yes. Everywhere I go, people like, they say, why do you let them do that? And I, you're all right with me.  That's what I'm saying, because I don't want them to think that there's any chance of us having text messages outside of it.  You know the things that hurt me. You did it for seven years. You knew what my trigger word was. You knew what my trigger word was. I didn't know Miles was such a trigger word. It wasn't. Until it was. Until it was. You know, not funny, was my trigger word. Nobody said you wasn't funny. Earlier on. Earlier on. Nobody said that. You. I've never said that. Do I have to? Yes. You did all the things. I will please, please. Nobody said you never heard me say that. In fact, I said the opposite. I said I saw Donnell Rollins at Radio City with Dave Chappelle, Cedric and Natana, Marlon Wayne, and I said Donnell was the funniest person on the stage that night. All right, producers, just do this for me. Just go rewind when they try. Why would I ever say you're not funny? Because you were trying to trigger me. No. Listen. That never happened. Listen, this is how calm I am. I'm trying to explain. So you know that I said to Black and Mild to respond to a certain thing and what I thought was a classy way. You know where my trigger words are. You know deep down inside that upsets me to be called Mild. You saw me flip out on TMZ. So with that said, you know when it's a trigger. You decided to either doordash or instant cart a Easter basket filled with everything that said Mild on it. What y'all don't know is this is the bully that y'all don't know. This is not true.  You're the new one. You know that this was going to trigger me. No, I didn't. You said you love the green Mild sauce. I got you that brand. You didn't know I loved it until you triggered me. You didn't know that. So just stop with the shenanigans. You know what's so funny about the word Mild?  But see, he was calling basic bitches. He was calling basic bitches, basic bitches. Yes. I'm not a mal comedian. You know that though.  But I still can respond to it. You can. I know you're good friends of Michelle Obama. She says when they go, how we go low, all right? I don't know Michelle. You're good friends of Michelle Obama. Well, you know she's a, you know her. You know her? You've met her. Me and I met Michelle a couple of times. And the cat question, when you met her, how did you smile? How did I smile when I met her? I'm going to show you the look you did. Show me. That is not true. I actually was shocked she knew who I was when I met her. Everybody knows who you are. And I said, what do I call her first lady, whatever she said? Everybody knows who you are.  I don't want to say what she says. You're responsible. What people know, you're responsible for the things that you say. Yes.   Freaky, Zeke. Like, what do you mean?  It was the niggas. Hold on. No, you're just fingering guys in the snow. Freaky, freaky say the niggas over here with the hammers. Oh, hey, yo, yo, yo, what's going on, Donnell? So I put, you're spiraling. This is crazy. You're spiraling. This is crazy. I put, it was two niggas. I put one niggas in a full Nelson. It was huge. Wow. And I was blocking it. And then niggas over here was shooting, right? And then I was blocking it. And then it was two niggas over there with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the, with the ratchets. No, you want to say hammers? It was two over there with the hammers. And they got the hammers. And then everybody got the hammers. And then I pulled out the hammer. And they had hammers. And I said, that does seem like. This is a wow. Oh, it seems like a great thing. It does seem like it. It does. What I'm saying is, you have a responsibility. You know that you were going to trigger me. I did not. Yes, you did. A whole Easter basket filled with Mauser. I gave you a gift because you got a special out. This is crazy. Well, this year started off the year of the truth, right? It does not feel truthful in here right now. Why not? What do you mean? Because he's lying. But is he lying about thinking you're funny? Because I've never once heard him say that you weren't one of the funniest comedians alive. I genuinely have not ever wanted to hear that. He can't accept love.   But he's never once not said that. He said that you're one of the funniest human beings alive as facts. He said that after, and I knew what was going to happen, after he saw me eat the audience up. And this is how it started. This is how it started. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was crazy. That was nuts. Eat them up. He's an audience up. He doesn't eat them. Eat them up.     These man and women.  Y'all eat them up. Gays. He was going to go great. Was the audience member that you ate up male or female?    This is a gay ear to rule.  Huh? Huh? Huh?  I don't even know what you're saying. Huh? What? What? What? What? That's why the niggas hit the streets. When you was younger, when you was younger, when you was younger.  No, did people tell you they were proud of you? No. Did people encourage you? Damn. The reason why? The reason why? I'm not saying they were. The reason why? Because I didn't do anything for them to be proud of. Nothing? When I was younger, I know I was a troublemaker. Now, I wasn't like, we proud, you made the basketball team. I was the water boy. You know what I'm saying? I wasn't proud. And then they didn't know I was going to be a comedian.  But they never said we're proud that we can come and get you out of the land out of the lunch room and roast. Like, when it was time to fight, they never came to get me for fights.  We got them. But nobody, I don't, I think. Is that when you felt appreciated? I didn't feel appreciated in high school. I didn't feel, I was nothing to be proud of me for. My mom always was proud of me. That's good. She said follow your dreams. But I think, I know this is crazy. But the first time I felt somebody, people being proud of me, is when I joined the military. And they were like, we're proud that you served. But they tell everybody that, though. I know, but I was like this. And when I, they work. No, it is.   And you just cut the legs right from that. No, I didn't mean it like that. He's not a triggering motherfucker. No, I didn't mean it like that. You're not a trigger. Look at that. That's young Donnell in the Air Force. Because what I'm trying to get to the bottom of is why can't you just accept love? Were you a red tail or what? No, I was a military police. I was a police. You look wow young in that photo, yo. How old are you there? Right there, I was 17. I was so, when I was stationed there. You were 18?  I literally had to get a permission from my mother to join the military. You have to be 18. But if you're under 18, your mom has to sign for you. And that picture right there, I was 17. The first base I was, it was Cool Song Korea. That picture over to the left. Right there with me in that CJ5 Jeep. I was 18. And people thought, people thought I was a general son. They thought I was a dependent. They didn't think I was in military. The Koreans used to call me Egi-ai. Egi-ai is Korean for baby. They shouldn't be talking about nobody's eyes. I say Egi-ai. That's crazy. Chanyeol shouts in foreign language. Translate, Chris. Universe English is difficult. No, he isn't.  Oh. Right. Is he Korean? No, it's Taiwanese.  You said he's Asian, so he should speak Korean? I didn't know what you were saying. That's right. Cancel this show right now, son. You just said... I'm just dumb. You said he's Korean, so I... You said...  What were you saying? You said he's Korean, so I know he could cook Chinese food. That's what I heard. I've never said that. I think they can do it. Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, Iiwa. Yo, yo, come here, come here, Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, Yobaseyo, Iiwa, yo, come here.  Beat it. That's what that means? Listen.   Money Isso, Hapshi Da, that was the theme song for the horse downtown. Got you. What does that mean? I just told you. It means that...   You got to say all that for that one sentence? Yeah. I'm just dumb. I'm just dumb. I'm just dumb. Got it? I'm just dumb.  I hung on my little chokum. I speak a little Korean. I hung on my little chokum. He probably just bullshitted me. We don't know him. Aigoo, aigoo. Shikara, shikara. Iptakcha. Shikara is be quiet. I would talk to you like that and you have respect. Iptakcha.  Iptakcha. Tonseng. Yaima. Like if I don't have beef with you, I'm like, Yaima, Idoaba, doi. And then I would tell you to get away from me. Any Korean looking at me right now, they'd be like this, they fathered. Yaima, you doaba. How did you not get on cameo and fresh off the boat? This is great. You don't even know what the next move I'm about to make. I'm going to manifest it right here. And this is going to happen. My next special I'm going to do in Korea. I have a story.  Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody. Show somebody.  Show somebody says something to me earlier today, right? They said they were talking about joke thieves and these people that steal jokes and stuff like that. And I always thought like this.  Even beat them up or leave it alone. Write another joke. And if you really think about it, show. If you really think about your community around the circuit. When a lot of times we hear these stories about somebody stole a joke, it's not. It's a joke that can easily be stolen. A common idea would probably be the truth. or the world of something people thought of. Parallel thought. Thought. I think that's what the Internet has showed us is that like, you're not the only one capable of having an idea. Your original idea, there might be someone else with it. Someone else's original idea. This happens all the time on Twitter. Somebody says a funny nickname for somebody.


Here is the, here is an application you can say of the use of mixed strategies in a zero sum game from a tale from a Sherlock Holmes novel. So the story is as follows, Holmes is leaving from London and he wants to eventually get to this place called Dover. Dover is the point from which you can, if you know the gates on the coast of England from there you can actually get a ship to go to the European continent. He wants to get to Dover, now that is where he was planning to go but then as he is leaving he sees on the platform that his nemesis, this man called Moriarty actually sees him on the train. So the train is pulling off, pulling out of the platform and Moriarty is on the, on the platform and he sees that Sherlock Holmes is on the train, ok. Now Sherlock Holmes has a ticket till Dover, he can go till Dover that is one option or he can get off at Canterbury, so which is an intermediate stop, the only intermediate stop, ok. Now he knows that Moriarty is going to follow him, alright and now there are two possibilities here, either Moriarty himself also goes to Canterbury, takes another train to get to Canterbury or he takes another train and gets off at Dover, ok. So based on what actually happens, here are the, here are the probabilities that will work. Here are the various things that could work out. If Holmes reaches Canterbury and Moriarty also reaches Canterbury, the payoff for Holmes is the probability of his survival, ok. In which case now if he does not, if Holmes reaches Canterbury, Moriarty also reaches Canterbury then Holmes is killed for sure, so the probability of survival is zero for Holmes, ok. Holmes is looking to maximize this particular number, the probability of survival. If Holmes reaches, if Holmes reaches Canterbury and Moriarty reaches Dover, then in that case Moriarty can retrace himself back from Dover to Canterbury and find Holmes somewhere in the, in, you know, in the, in the country. So in that case Moriarty basically, we will assume that Holmes gets killed with probability 0.5 in that case, ok. So his survival is, probability of survival is 0.5, then the payoff therefore for Moriarty is minus 0.5. Now if, if Holmes reaches Dover, but Moriarty gets off at Canterbury, in that case Holmes survives for sure, ok. So his probability of survival then is, is one, so, ok. So the probability of survival, so the payoff that Holmes then receives is, is one and the payoff that Moriarty receives is minus 1. So actually I should, I do not need this second digit at all, let us remove this second digit. Probability of survival for Holmes here is 0, probability of survival for Holmes here is, is 0.5, probability of survival for Holmes here is, is, is 1 and if they both reach Dover then the probability of survival again for Holmes is 0. Moriarty wants to reduce this probability as much as possible and Holmes wants to maximize this, ok, alright. Now if, let us think of the following situation. Suppose Moriarty knew what Holmes would do, ok, then what is the probability of, of survival for Holmes, 0. If Moriarty knew where Holmes is headed, he will just follow him there and, and kill him there, right. If he knows he is going to get off at Canterbury, he will go, he will go till Canterbury and kill him there. If he goes, if he knows that he is, Holmes is going to Dover, he will go, he will go to Dover and find him there, alright. So, so if, if Moriarty knows what Holmes is going to play, then Holmes is killed, is killed for sure, right, ok. So, now here is where the mixed strategies become useful, ok. So, Holmes now, instead of doing this, what Holmes is going to do is. So, Holmes rolls a dice, ok. Now and if it, if it comes, if it shows, ok, a fair dice, if it shows one or two, then he will, he just goes to Dover, ok. And if it is any of the other numbers, he goes to Canterbury, ok. So, he goes to Dover, else he goes to Canterbury. Now if it is one or two, which means with, so he is going to go to Dover with probability one-third and he goes to Canterbury with probability two-thirds, alright. Now the, the, here is the thing, ok. What is, ok, let us, let us now calculate what is the probability now of survival for Holmes, ok. Let us look at the two options for, from the point of view of more reality, just, ok. So, Holmes was going to play Dover with probability one-third and Canterbury with probability two-thirds, ok. So, he has Canterbury with probability, the two-third probability of Canterbury and one-third probability of Dover, alright. And what was, let us write out the payoffs once again. So, it is 0 for 0, 0 and 0.5, so 0, 0, 1 and 0.5, ok. Now let us look at the, let us look at the payoff that, that more reality now sees from this, ok. What is the payoff? Now that, if this is what Holmes is going to play, alright. He does not know where Holmes is now headed, ok. He just knows that Holmes is going to go to Dover with probability one-third and to Canterbury now with probability two-thirds. More reality just knows that, ok. See, so, so I think I was not very clear, I was getting a little hassle with this. See the main point is, see if more reality knows what Holmes is going to play in the sense that he knows where Holmes is headed, then he will just follow. Now also more reality, let us assume more reality knows what Holmes is going to play, but what is he going to play? He is going to play a roll of dice. He knows that Holmes is going to do this, that he is going to play, he is, if it is going to turn out, if the dice shows 1 or 2, he is going to go to Dover. If it is going to, if it is, if the dice is going to show 3, 4, 5, 6, he is going to go to Canterbury. So, ok. So, what more reality knows is that Holmes is going to play Dover with probability one-third and Canterbury with probability two-thirds. Now with this, let us see what the, what are the payoffs for more reality now in this case. So, the payoff that more reality sees is going to be two-thirds, two-thirds into 0 plus one-third in the first row. So, here what the payoff for more reality is going to be two-thirds into 0 into one-third which is just one-third and what about this one? It is again going to be one-third. So, what has happened as a result? More reality has no, has, has actually now is, has been left ambivalent. He does not, even if he knows the probabilities with which these things are being chosen, he does not know actually which one is going to be played and both are now equally good for him. Ok. So, now what is the best response for more reality in this? What can he respond with? He can go to Canterbury. He can go to Dover. He can go to Canterbury with probability 0.5. He can go to Dover with probability 0.5. He can go, he can do whatever he wants basically. All of them are equally good. Right? So, what more, what Holmes has basically done is he has made him himself, made more reality ambivalent or indifferent between his alternatives. Ok? All right. Ok. So, this is, this is 0.1. Now, what is now the probability that, so therefore more reality can, now, now ok. So, he is the best response for more reality. He can play whatever he wants. All of those are best responses. Ok? Now, keeping this in mind, keeping that this guy could, you know, have a certain best response, if suppose now Holmes who had to decide what is the probability with which he will, he should, he should pick one-third and what is the probability with which he should pick, what is the probability with which he should pick Canterbury and what is the probability with which he should pick Dover, what, what Holmes would effectively be doing is, is doing, is trying to find the max followed, max, max min of this particular value. He would look at the worst case best response that, worst case damage that more reality could do to him and then try to minimize that worst case damage. Right? Ok? Now, what, now what we know is that this max min is actually equal to min max. That is what we just, we showed in the previous, in the previous class. In other words, this and, and therefore, this, you will get a saddle point of this would be one where, would be a distribution for more reality such that when more reality plays that distribution, it should be optimal for Holmes to continue to play his distribution. Ok? So, what I will show you now is actually this two-third, one-third is in fact, the max min or equivalently his own security strategy. Ok? So, you can actually check this. So, suppose more, so as you see that everything, all of these strategy, any strategy is the best response to, any strategy is the best response for more reality, but you can take a particular, so therefore, more reality can respond with anything. Let us take this strategy for more reality. So, suppose more reality chooses this. Ok? So, he plays Canterbury with probability one-third and Dover with probability with probability two-thirds. Now, let us see what is the, what is the probability of survival? His is one-third into, one-third into 0 plus two-third into 0.5.  So, with, so what has happened as a result of this? You see, Holmes has come up with a coin toss, Moriarty has also come up with a coin toss or a roll of dice. Essentially, both have come up with mixed strategies such that given one guy's mixed strategy, the other guy becomes indifferent between what to choose. Right? Now, because the other guy is indifferent, you can pick any best response, but that best response has to also match up with, with, with what the first guy considered as their, as your security strategy or as your worst case. So, you may as well pay the worst case, therefore each of them may as well play the worst case. Ok? So, effectively what has happened is, this two-third one-third and one-third two-third becomes a saddle point for this particular game. And this is the nature of saddle points in a zero sum game. Then one, when a player, what it, what a saddle point tends to do is, is it tends to make the other player indifferent between a bunch of strategies. In particular, even a pure strategy becomes a best response, but that does not mean the player will actually play a pure strategy. It for the other player to play a pure strategy, it all, the first strategy that you started with also has to be a best response to that pure strategy. Got it? So, two-third one-third for, for Holmes, two-third one-third for Holmes is, is, if two, if Holmes plays two-third one-third, Moriarty can play whatever he wants. But then, if Moriarty plays whatever he wants, will Holmes continue to play two-third one-third? No. If it is only when Holmes, if it is only when Moriarty plays one-third two-third, that Holmes would want to play two-third one-third. Ok? So, this particular, this here now is a, is a saddle point or a Nash equilibrium of this particular game. Ok? Two-third, the, this, this strategy, so the two-third C, one-third D for Holmes and one-third C, two-third D for Moriarty is a saddle point. Ok. Ok. So, we found a saddle point now. No. No. Greater than equal to. What is, what equality was? Yeah. Yeah. So, there are, so, so you can argue this in many different ways. So, what is, one of the reasons is that it equalizes the upper and lower values also. So, one-third, two-third gives you the exact same lower value of the game which is one-third and likewise, two-third, one-third for Holmes also gives you that exact. That is another way of justifying that this is a, this is a saddle point. Ok. All right. So, so now, let us calculate what is the, now given this is what they are going to do in the case of a coin toss, ok. What is the probability of survival now for Holmes? So, probability of survival is basically now just the average payoff of this, right. And you can compute that. So, what is that, that is going to be, so, he survives with probability, how much is this? This is 1 by 3, right. So, this becomes 1 by 3. Ok. So, this is 1 by 3 into 1 by 3, you can, so, this is, this 2 and 0.5 will cancel off. So, this is 2 by 9 and this is 1 by 9, that is 1 by 3. Ok. All right. So, this is, so, this probability is 1 by 3. So, in short, by doing this particular mixed strategy, now Holmes survives with probability one-third. Earlier, he was surviving with probability 0. And remember, the point is that he survives with probability one-third even if, even if Moriarty knows that this is what Holmes is going to do. Ok. So, even if Moriarty knows that Holmes is going to cross a coin or roller dice and choose to go to Dover with probability two-thirds and go to, sorry, probability one-third and go to Canterbury with probability two-thirds, even if he knows this whole plan, still he survives with probability one-third. And the reason, what is the reason for that? And the main reason for this is the inherent nature of randomness. When you toss a coin, Moriarty may know that this is the probability with which various things are going to play out, but he does not know actually what will play out. Ok. This is, this is a manifest, this is exactly what mixed strategies are doing. Essentially, in fact, why Moriarty, even Holmes does not know where he is going to go, when he is going to roller dice. Right? He only knows that with certain chance he is going to go here, with certain chance he is going to go there. And because he, because you do not know the outcome, because Moriarty does not know the outcome, Moriarty was also forced to, in turn, you know, you can say he can also do the same thing and therefore they both, they both effectively try to fool each other and fool each other to the point when they have no preference over their pure strategies anymore. Both pure strategies are just as good for both, because then you have really made them indifferent. The ultimate, you know, ultimate sort of ambiguity you can, or, or, yeah, ambiguity you can create, right, in a game that you, a player, the opposing player has no way of, has no sort of way to distinguish between whether this is better or that is better. Right? So, this is, this is effectively what has happened here, that by doing this roll of dice, you, Holmes has ensured effectively that, that he, he survives with probability, he survives with probability one-third and that is because even if that, even if, you know, even if the mixed strategy itself is known, the exact action that he will be taking is not known, okay? So, this, this, that is the smoke screen that you know, a randomized, that randomization basically creates, okay? All right. So, there are, you can, so this is, this is just, this is one more example of, of why, you know, you should, you can say is, so how players can use randomization and also of why you should allow players to do randomization, because you can see that there is a, there is a, there is an actual, you know, strategic benefit involved in randomization. All right? Okay. Okay. Now, this, let us just play this thing out a little bit further and see where, how this, this shapes up. So, one of the things we just saw was that when, when a player plays his, a mixed strategy, the opponent has any, you know, any pure strategy is as best as one. Now, technically, what really happened is, what is happening is actually this here, is, this is a result that we have seen before. See, remember, we wrote this out that when we wrote, write min over of y in y, max of z in capital Z, y transpose A z, this was the same as the min over y of max over j, y transpose A j, right? So, what, what is the reason? The reason for this was basically for a fixed y, this inner objective was actually linear in z. So, all you had to do was pick out the element in the row, which had the largest weight and that is what this max over j does. Now, what this is effectively saying is that if I fix a y, even if I fix the saddle point y, right, the security strategy y, okay, the best response to that is going, can, is going to be any set of pure strategies, which give you the, which have the, the way, where y transpose A is the largest, right, a y, any j for which y transpose A j is largest is the best response to that. And in particular, any mixing over those j's is also a best response, right? So, so which means that for any y, so once of, once you fix one player strategy, the other player's strategy, the other player has, has a, he, the, for the other player, the problem becomes linear and he has to just pick the one that is, you know, the weight that is largest. So, any j that maximizes y transpose A j is a best response, is a best response of the column player, okay. So, like, and the same is true also for the minimizing player, okay. So, if you, if you, the same can be written also for, if I write it, this is still max over z, z, is this clear? Okay. But that doesn't mean that you can restrict to pure strategy best responses. A best response is j, a pure strategy best, so a pure strategy j is a best response to a mixed strategy y. A pure strategy i is a mixed, best response to mixed strategy z. But that does not mean that i and j are going to be best responses to each other, okay. So, so the, so a saddle point will be, therefore, necessarily a saddle point will be one, will have this property that it, so clearly a, okay. So, now if, if, if j is a strategy that maximizes y transpose A j, okay. And if there are multiple such j's, then in any saddle point, what would the, what would the, the, what would the column player be playing? Can the column player play a z? So, any, so column player z mixed saddle point strategy has to be a best response. So, so, so let's say y fix y at y star, okay. Okay, which is one component of the saddle point. Now, any pure strategy j that is a best response to this, that maximizes this is a best response. Now, what about a mixed strategy? What kind of mixed strategies will be best responses to this? It will be a combination of those j's that maximizes, right. Because if, if a j is not amongst the larger, if for that j, this is not amongst the largest, right. If it, if it is a little bit less than the largest, then it doesn't make any sense to give that, that component a positive weight, because you are unnecessarily reducing your own, reducing your own pure. What you would want to do is randomize over the best pure strategies, correct. So, the, so if, if I take y as y star here, if I make y as y star, then the best response z's, there will be a best response z star to this, in which the player has randomized only over those j's that maximize this, okay. And likewise, out of those z's, that also there will be multiple such z's. And out of those z's, there will be one such z, such that if you take, fix that z, then the maximizing y in response to that would be a y that is supported only on this, only on the i's that minimize this, okay. And then a y, a pair y star z star that basically keep each other in equilibrium in this way will therefore be a saddle point, okay. So, in other words, in any saddle point, no player is going to give weight to a strategy that is giving the giving, give weight to a pure strategy that is giving anything less than the best, the best, best possible response. So, each player basically distributes his probability of distribution over the pure strategies that are a best response to the other guys, given the other guys strategy, is this clear? So, in other words, if, if, so in short, in summary, if, if y star is what is chosen by the row player, then Z star will be such that it is supported on these j's, the j's that maximize this. And y star in turn will be supported on the i's that maximize this with Z replaced by Z star, with Z star here, the ones that, sorry the ones that minimize this with Z replaced by Z star, okay. So now, so let us, let us actually see an application of this now. So, how we could use this particular fact.


Did you see how all of the homeless in San Francisco disappeared when Xi came to visit? And that's something that China stipulated. They said they don't want if Xi Jinping comes to San Francisco. All the homeless must disappear. There can't be any graffiti on the walls and there can't be any Chinese protests like Tibet, people from Tibet protesting China or anyone that's anti-China protests. So check this out. The government, some people say the dictator of China, I don't know if you want to call it a dictator.  But the leader of China dictated terms to California, San Francisco, I will only visit you if you take American citizens that are homeless, that don't have anywhere to live, that are living on the street, which is their right. This is as an American citizen. Well, I'm not American, I'm a Canadian citizen. If I don't have a home to live in as a Canadian, I can go live on the street. Americans can do the same thing. So the leader of China told the governor of California to gather up American citizens, take away their rights and clean up all the graffiti and prevent people from demonstrating if he was going to come and visit San Francisco. Who rules over you? Who rules over you? Who rules over you?


Good morning everybody I'm Tommy O'Brien coming to you live from TFNN 10 a.m. Eastern Time Friday morning 30 minutes into the trading day and we got markets with some volatility right near flat territory S&P's posted by eight points trading at 2789. We had been about 20 points higher coming into the opening bell though because the NASDAQ right now negative by 21 points trading at 84.73 the Dow Jones where are we now up 13 points trading at 23,529 getting the charts let me pull them up there there we go we got oil up $1.02 at 1751 we got the gold contract right now flat at 1745 notes and bonds basically flat as well the tenure at 139 the 30 year at 181 15 and the dollar index of 24 ticks at 104 12 start things off let's jump over to the charts we'll start it off with the Dow 23,426 you see the sell-off beginning at about 930 we were up at 23,600 we've lost about 175 Dow points from that price level NASDAQ 100 little bit of a sell-off since about 830 really 86 67 we're currently trading at 86 01 there's your S&P 500 dropping off about 20 points we were trading at 2809 as of 930 currently trading at 2791 crude oil maybe the story of the week crude $17.40 almost made it back up to $18 right it around the market open missed it by about 6 to 7 pennies crude 1742 there's your gold contract was about 1760 as of 7 a.m. This morning we're also above that level yesterday morning at 1766 I believe was the high where are we 1763 gold dropping a bit in the last half hour at 1742 with the market and the euro US dollar back above 108 we'll call it 108 exactly on the euro US dollar terms of what else we have happening checking in on the week we've had in crude quite the week indeed there's your action starting off Monday in the 24s you see the fall off early Tuesday quite a collapse now Monday is the day that we got crazy action in the May expiration to crude contract things translated quickly to the Jew contract $6.50 on Tuesday a steady increase since then at 1731 stay tuned folks come back after the program we got Tom and I coming back at 10 o'clock fast market by teeny Ameritrade thinker swim at 11 basil Chapman Steve Rhodes Dave White Tom O'Brien all this afternoon stay tuned folks will be right back