I will get started then. So this is my talk. Thank you for sticking around to the last afternoon and coming to my talk. I'm only talking about license compliance in Embedded Linux. We'll focus on Yoktu Project. First of all, just a bit of an introduction. A little bit about me. I've been involved in Yoktu Project since around 2013. I do work across the whole embedded stack. So touch, U Boot, Kernel, everything, but often end up involved in release process discussions as well. That's why I'm talking about licensed compliance and I do consulting through B to 5 Limited, there's some contact details there. I just want to start off, as we're talking about licensed compliance with a little bit of a disclaimer for this talk not providing any legal advice on this at all. What I'm talking about is the best practice based on my experience as a developer, my experience as a member of open sourced If you've got any doubts about this stuff, consult an appropriate lawyer. By appropriate I mean someone who knows your jurisdiction and somebody who knows their way around open source licensing. So that said, what am I going to cover? I'm going to start off going through some fairly generic best practices which aren't very Octo project specific. Then I'm going to dive into the available tools that we've got in the Octo project. Look at some ongoing future work on that and do finish up with some comparison with other projects and point out some other relevant projects you might want to take a look at. There's a couple of things I'm not going to have time to cover. Not going to cover any of the DRM or TV organization concerns and not really going to cover how to interpret licenses and decide what you need to do. I'm going to focus on the tools and the practices. Let's start off with why should you care about this? Typically if you're selling an embedded device and distributing a physical device that has open source on it, that is an act of distribution. There is a risk of legal action here if you're not following license compliance properly. Doing things right gets you standing in the community and makes it easier for you to get the help and support you need from people. Another reason why you should be caring about license compliance is you really should be retaining full sources anyway, even for things where you don't need to distribute those sources to your customers. Things do disappear off the internet. You need to be able to step back to an old release of your product and rebuild with minor changes. You need to make sure that you are archiving all the source code that you're using even if it's things that you don't necessarily have to distribute copies of. Let's dive into this general advice and say this section is not really a Yokto project specific, so pretty applicable anywhere, really. The fundamentals of license compliance, really, is two things. You need to provide license text and notices, and you need to provide complete corresponding source code for things that are covered under copy left licenses. Looking at these, you end up with some questions. Where do we put this? Do we put the license text on the device? Do we put the license text in the documentation on a website? Do we publish the source code directly to our customers, or do we give them an offer letter and let them come and ask us when they want the software? Pretty much all of these are valid options. I would say personally I'd say avoid the last one, avoid using an offer letter. It's better off to actually publish this stuff to your customers straight away. Everything else, really, is a valid option. The thing I want to highlight early on is this thing I'm going to call the distributed image. Sounds pretty simple, but this is the image that you are actually distributing to your customers. This may not be the image that you build initially. You need to think about when you ship a device to a customer, what is the actual software that is on that device when it goes out the door. If you're uploading software to a website where people can download it, you need to think, well, what is actually in the file that the customer downloads? When I'm talking customer here, I'm not even just meaning paying customer.  Think about what are they actually getting. This, as we'll talk about later, this may be slightly different to what you're initially building. The first bit of advice I'm going to give is you really want to get to a point where you've got a single command to build your final image. This might not sound like licensing advice, but this makes it much, much simpler to audit what's going into your image, to reproduce what's going into your image, to not accidentally miss out the capture of sources in your build process and end up with an accidental failure of license compliance. So, yeah, a single top-level script that you run that kicks out your final image is also really important for licensing, as well as other things. And when you start to put this script together, you will probably find your build process is non-trivial. There will probably be a few moving parts here. And like any piece of non-trivial software, this needs tests. So I always recommend test your releases. Test what actually gets uploaded to the website. If you expect a certain image to come out with maybe a manifest next to it, test that the manifest appears. If you expect something to be in slash Etsy in the final image, open up the tab or see if it is there. If you archive a load of sources, check you can rebuild from them and automate these tests as well. That's going to make life a lot easier. The other thing I'll say is use the build system as far as you can, whether that's Yokto project, build route or anything else. Try to avoid writing a post-build script that unpacks your image, throws more software in it and repacks it. I've seen that done quite a few times. And when that happens, you lose access to the tools that are in Yokto project and build route to do this license compliance and auditing. You lose access to those in those modifications you've made with the post-build script. It's very easy to inject additional open source license content in this post-build script and not have it captured when you're grabbing all these things for license compliance. You can take an image you've built, move it, copy it, compress it, whatever you need to do, but I would say don't try and inject new content at this stage. Another form of post-build script is what I call factory test, but this is the process of programming an image into your device. You may also be programming some per-device configurations, some calibration data, whatever else. You might be running a test suite on your device to check that it's been manufactured correctly. I would say don't now start adding in new test software on the device. Don't start doing on-device package management in this process between the first programming and when it goes out in the door, because, again, you can end up installing some new software that may be open source licensed that then isn't captured in your main license compliance workflow. License compliance doesn't just mean making sure you've got all the license text and making sure you've captured all the sources for things that are copy left. It also means not accidentally distributing proprietary, the sources for proprietary software. You need some filter in here. You don't just want to grab every bit of source code that's gone into your image. You're probably going to need some filter in to pick out if you do have proprietary components. When you write in those test cases to make sure that, hey, we have grabbed this source code, make sure you haven't accidentally grabbed the source code for the proprietary component, write a test for it. I find it useful to have separate images here. If there's some proprietary application being installed on an image, you find it's really useful to have another image recipe next to that that produces a pure open source image that doesn't have those components so that we can do this audit in a comparison. Fairly obvious one here. You need to capture patches to the source code. If you're pulling something like Busybox Down and you end up patching this thing, you need to capture your patches as well for things that are copy left license. Watch out for hidden patches. These are things that aren't called a .patch file but also modify the source code. If you've got a script or a function that runs as part of your build that calls out to sed and does some transformation on some source files, that's just a patch under a different name. You also need to make sure you've got a copy of that in your license compliance archives. Another one is make sure the system records the patch order. This is handled by, build-root handled by Yocto project but if you're using anything else, make sure you don't just give someone a directory of 30 patches. Make sure you actually do say what order they get applied in. One here that has multiple different types of interpretation. For GPL version 2, it does say you should include the scripts used to control compilation and installation of the software. You could interpret that to say if you're building with Yocto project, your recipe for that application could be seen to be the scripts used to control the compilation. There are different interpretations here. I'm not a lawyer, not giving legal advice but this may be an area you want to look into and make sure you're doing things right here. Then I want to talk about a couple of pitfalls that people can fall into in terms of license compliance. One of these is just using a desktop or server distro installing Debian on a device and then shipping that to your customer. I'd say just say no to this. It's very difficult toward it what you've put into these images. It's difficult to provide all the required source code and you can easily end up with disparate versions of things if you run updates at different times. These really aren't the best solutions for putting on a product that's being distributed. Another thing I see a lot that causes endless problems is Docker. If you write a Docker file to produce a container that's going to go on an embedded device and it's going to be shipped to someone, the Docker file is not the complete corresponding source code for that image. You really need to make sure you're capturing everything. Be careful when you've got that fromline at the start of a Docker file that says what the base image is. You might not even know exactly what's installed in that. There might be things that are copied in rather than installed with packaging. I would say watch out when using containers in embedded Linux. Use something that builds the container images with something like Yopto project or build route rather than Docker here. Another pitfall where I see things go wrong is when using pre-compiled tool chains. You might be using the ARM tool chain or the older Lennaro tool chain which is pre-compiled to run on the host cross-compiled for your target. This will typically include GCC. That's only going to run on the host, but it will probably also include a C library. That's going to get installed on your target. You do need to capture the source code for this as well. That might not be an automated process. In the Yopto project case, if you pull in the metal Lennaro layer, enable the external Lennaro tool chain and then run the archiver to get all the source code, it's not going to get the source code for the external tool chain to my knowledge. This is something where you might need to go and do a manual download here. You may want to test out that it's actually capturing everything you need. Another thing that causes problems in which specific package managers, NPM, cargo, all these other things, I find that these are awful for license compliance. It's often not even clear what source code corresponds to the binaries that are upon the whatever website it gets from. These things may not support offline compilation. They may not support separate out dependencies very well. They may not support getting the license text and source for all those dependencies. One thing I've found with cargo specifically is there is no guaranteed map in between the version tag on crates.io and the actual tagged version in the Git repository. So you may not even know what version of the relevant source you need. It may not be an easy command to just say, well, download me this source code. This is an area you need to do a little bit of research, especially if you're writing applications in languages that use these tools. Do a bit of research, find out what the best thing is here. There's too much here for me to cover in half an hour, 35 minutes, about these package managers and license compliance. The other thing I will say is just other insane things that I've seen.  Even I think the worst case to have seen was something that had a manual page written in markdown and we want to convert that to a manual page. So what do we do? Well, we could use various tools to do that or we could just find someone who's got a web app running on Heroku that does that and in the make file we upload the markdown file and download the result using Curl. Brilliant. Yeah, how do you know that's doing what you think it's doing? How do you build that offline? How do you build that three years later when that apps disappeared? For a manual page, maybe not that important, but if this is a bigger part of the stack, that can be a problem and it can cause problems with license compliance as well. You may find make files that go away and download additional sources and they may use online tools as I say. So be careful with this, watch out. I advise doing completely offline builds to check this. Literally unplug the network cable from the machine and check you can still build and that's probably the only way to find these things. The last thing is metadata bugs. Metadata bugs do happen. The license metadata is just a field in a recipe file that says, what are the things under GPL version to or later? Sometimes that can be incorrect, sometimes that can be incomplete. The best advice I have is follow stable updates. If you're using a particular version of the Octo project, the one I know, we have stable release branches if we find incorrect license information that will get fixed in those stable branches. So follow these updates for major commercial projects where you're doing things on a larger scale. I would always recommend doing your own auditing here, do your own verification, use something like phosology. So that's where we are for the sort of generic advice that I think applies to wherever your build system is, you can apply those ideas. So now what I want to do is start to take a little bit of a deeper dive into what tooling we've got in the Octo project itself. So first of all, let's start with the simple stuff. The metadata that you find in a Octo project recipe. So license field is fairly straightforward. These days we're using SPDX license identifiers, which means things are standardized, which is a great improvement. There's this magic license files checksum that we have. What that's there for is to catch upstream changes in license so when you update from one version to the next. Upstream might have changed their licensing in some way. So by having a checksum of what the license file content is in the recipe, it means you don't miss these changes accidentally. And then you will get a warning that, hey, this has changed. You know you need to go and read it, see what the difference is and update it. A bit of advice on these recipes. We do have this magic closed as a license. I always say avoid this. If your software is distributed under a proprietary license, give it a name, include the license text in the layer you've got. This closed keyword disables that license file checksum verification. So you might think, hey, if it's closed, it's coming from within my organization, it's not going to change without me knowing. In a large enough organization, yes, other teams can change the license for the tool and something that was previously proprietary may now be released open source. Something that was released under a permissive open source license may now acquire proprietary changes and have a different license. You do want verification, even if this isn't coming from a third party. The other thing we have is for version control repositories, we have a source ref, which says what commit hash or version we pull from the Git repository, Mercura repository, whatever it is. We have this lovely thing for development called Autoref where you give it a branch and it will just pull the latest commit from that. Make sure you don't leave that on for releases. Again, if somebody pushes something five minutes before you do your release, you might end up building the wrong version. If you give this to somebody else three years later when they try and rebuild it, it will be pointing at a different hash. I always say avoid Autoref for releases. It's too easy to end up with a mismatch where you think you've audited something and then it's pulled a newer version and rebuilding the image later might give a different result. When I say give your license a name and include the text, there are a couple of ways that this is supported within the OXO project. The simplest one is for common licenses that apply across multiple recipes. We've got this license path variable. This is just a space-separated list of directories to search for these license files. Every layer can extend this. Just do license path plus equals something. Add a new directory. Put your license text in a file in that directory. Now it will actually be picked up as part of this. I would always recommend using this instead of closed or proprietary as a thing. It just makes it easier to track what's going on easier toward it. The other thing here is if you've got a unique license, this is a license that only applies to one recipe. It might not be worth grabbing that license text and putting it in the layer. We have this no-generic license variable that allows you to say, well, this just applies to this one package, so just go and grab the license text out of the source tree. If you call your license blah in this case, you can say no-generic license for blah is this file name. It's just a file name within your source tree. It might just be the license.md or something like that. This would be in a particular recipe. I would say use this rather than ignore in the warnings that say no-generic license text found for blah. I would give it something like this so that it can go and grab that text. Again, it just makes it a bit easier to find that text later and to audit it and to see what's going on. Say we've done a build and we want to actually do the first thing we need to do for license compliance, which is to capture what license text applies to the various components in an image. There is this temp slash deploy slash license directory which gets a manifest dropped in it and it gets all the various different license text dropped into that. You can copy that, you can tar it up. That is a good first step. I say do this after a clean build. What I mean by a clean build is if you've got two images and you build one then the other, the license text for everything in both of those images is going to end up in that license's directory. If you are just going to copy that whole directory tree, you want to make sure you've not accidentally built something else that's irrelevant first. This is just a directory tree full of one directory per package with some license text. You might need to do a bit of manual post processing on this afterwards. If you want to actually include the license text in an image so that you know when I give somebody my device, it's got the license text on it somewhere, you can set these variables in a distro comp for a local comp to say we'll copy and manifest onto the target, copy these license directories with all the license text onto the target. This will place all the relevant license files into this common license's directory within your final image. What I recommend is a slightly different approach, which is this license create package. This means for every package that is built, it's going to create a dash LIC package with the license text in it. This package will have some files in user cell licenses, and this package will be recommended by the base package. When you install Busybox, it will recommend Busybox dash LIC, and that will be installed into your image. What this does is it provides an upgrade path. If you use an on-device package management, this is the way to go because it means when you upgrade from one version to the next, if the license has changed, you'll get the new version of a license text. This approach is fine if you're not using on-device package management. If you use this approach though, when you upgrade a package, if the license text has changed, you won't get the new license text with this approach you will. If we move on to capturing the source code for copy left things, where you've got to distribute the full corresponding source code for the binaries that you provide. There's two approaches here within the OCTO project. One is we've got a download directory where all these sources that are pulled by the recipes as part of the build process are placed. You can ship that directory. That has the sources in it. Great. We also have an archiver class which provides a more flexible way of doing this. The archiver has filtered. You can filter by the license. You can filter by what's called the recipe type. This is... Is it a thing that's going on the target? Is it a part of the cross compiler? Is it a native package? This is configurable to fit your requirements. If you want to ship the downloads directory, the first thing you want to do is enable this BB Generate Mirror Tarballs. That says when we pull a git repository, tar up that bear repository, create a tar.gz file that can then be used for mirroring. Then you build an image. As I say, clean builds, you're not getting the downloads for unrelated things. Then copy the whole directory or tar it up. You can ignore the .done files that are placed by BitBake. You can ignore the version control subdirectories if you've got these mirror tarballs generated. That's fine, but as I say, you can end up... There's no filtering on this. There's no way to exclude things from that download directory. We'll come to the archive in a minute. One thing that's really useful is generating shallow mirror tarballs. If you've got a big repository, like a Linux kernel, the version you're actually using might be at an 80 or 100 meg tar.gz at the end of the day, but if you pull the full git repository history, that might be two gig. You can set this git shallow and generate shallow tarballs, and that will generate mirror tarballs that have just the commit that you're actually using. On a recent project, this got our mirror size down from seven and a half gig to just one gig. This can be quite nice to save wasted space. If we look at the archiver instead, the archiver has a few benefits over just grabbing the download directory. The archiver has multiple modes. It can grab the original source files. This is pretty much as it is unpacked. It can grab the patched version. This is a tarball with all the patches already applied, so you don't need to worry about them separately. There's a third mode, which is after you've run configure, which I don't really see the use for myself, and there are other options. You can create a single diff.gz between the original source and the patched source. That wraps all your patches into one, and there is an option to capture the recipe files using the archiver. That one I personally would say avoid because it doesn't follow, it's not recursive. If you include some other .inc file and that .inc file includes another .inc file, you're going to grab all the way down that hierarchy, everything that gets pulled into the recipes. So you could end up with an incomplete recipe file. What the archiver has that's really useful is it's called copy left filtering, but really it's just license filtering, and this has an include and an exclude. I'm not sure what happens when they overlap. I didn't get a chance to look into that, but generally they probably won't. By default, the archiver is going to grab all the source code for things that are GPL, LGPL, AGPL based. You can extend that with other things as well. Personally, I throw in all pretty much anything that's open source licensed even if it's under an MIT or BSD license, I might not have to distribute the source for it, but I think it's a nice thing to do. It makes life easier for customers, so I extend this most of the time. That copy left license exclude can be extended if you've given your proprietary license to think it's own license name. You can whack that license name in here, and then you know it's not going to get the source code for your proprietary application. It also is filtered by recipe type, so it defaults to target, which is basically when you build something for installation in your final image. But there's all these other recipe types as well. There's native, there's native SDK, there's cross, and a few other ones. I'll grab the source for, let's say, you build nestdk. You might want to extend this to capture some of those. So other things we want to do, providing layers, I think the best way to capture the recipes, the scripts that used to build things, the patches, everything else is just to release your whole Yocto project layer. And I would say publish as much of this as possible. Either as a tarball or preferably I would say some nice version control repository. If it is open source, you can add that to the layer index and open embedded so other people can make use of it. If you've got some recipes that build proprietary components, some recipes that build open source components, I would subdivide those out into separate layers. You've got one that's the open source stuff that you can easily release. When you provide the layers that watch out for changes in configuration, I've seen this a few times where some things have been added by just extending image install in a local.conf. So you can end up with modifications to the build process that aren't captured in your layer. They're just in bblayers.conf or local.conf. And there's two solutions here. You can version control local.conf so that it's part of a repository. Then you're not going to get accidental modifications that you know you've got it. The other thing is you can write a bit of script that captures that as part of your build process. And as I say, you might modify a source URI for a package in your local.conf. You might modify what gets installed into an image. It's worthwhile capturing these files just to make sure you don't have these accidentally. I'm going to skip over a couple of these. There's more slides than I have time for, but the slides are attached on Shed so you can download them. They're just all the bits and pieces we have within Yocto project to control licensing. And then I'm just going to move on to talk about recent improvements and work in progress. So one thing that's been added recently is we've got this incompatible license flag which can be used to exclude things like GPLV3 license things if you want to. That can now be configured per image so you can have a development image that has these GPLV3 components in and a release image that doesn't if that's the way you want to go. Dev tool and recipe tool have got much improved license handling than they used to have. And in the last couple of releases of Yocto project we've fixed several metadata bugs where licenses were incomplete or incorrect. So the things I've been working on I've been working on adding a new mode to the archiver. So the archiver is great, it's got this copy left filtering but the output of it can't be fed back into a future bit bake build. So what I've been doing the reason for wanting to extend this is I want this to be testable. And I think the best way to test how we grabbed all the relevant source code is can we rebuild the whole image. And yes, so this requires that you grab things in a way that can be fed back into a future bit bake build. So this is probably going to end up in the 3.1 release of Yocto project. We missed the 3.0 cut off for this. And this supports creating either a directory per package or a single directory mirror with all the source code in there. And just uses the existing fetcher within bit bake to look at each source your eye entry say well what's the local file for that and grabs it up but it's like grabbing the download directory but it's got this copy left filtering you can apply to include or exclude things it uses s state and it won't accidentally pick up sources for things that went in an image you built previously. And we've got an extra filter on here as well. So if you're providing your layers you can say well just exclude any source with a file prefix at the front because that's going to be in the layers we provide anyway. And the other thing that's on my agenda is if you grab that license directory it's just a big directory of all the different license text that applies. What I'd like to have is just a single license info artifact per image that's in a neat format that's easy to just put on a website, put in documentation put on an image. So I'm going to finish up with a bit of a comparison with other projects and some pointers to other projects that may be useful here. So the other major build system that we see used is build route and build route's got a pretty good license compliance story. It's got this make legal dash info target you can run. It's documented. It's less configurable than what's in the Yocto project but it's still pretty good. It grabs the sources, the patches, the license text and on a per package basis you can set this package name underscore redistribute equals no on your thing for a proprietary component to have it excluded. So this is maybe a little less configurable but it's still there. Another thing I've seen used in products is openwrt. I've looked everywhere for this. I cannot find any documentation how to do license compliance if you're shipping an image built with openwrt. I think this really needs some improvement because people do use that to build products and I don't know how they're doing their license compliance. So the last thing I want to do is just shout out a couple of other projects that are in this space that are useful. The first of these is phosology. This is a way of running license scans so looking through the headers for C files and seeing well the top level license says GPLV2 but do you have a file buried somewhere that says GPLV3? It's got a web interface and a command line so you can do manual correction and auditing. Lawyers like this quite a lot. We've got integration with that for your project. Another one I just want to shout out is openchain. So openchain are focused on standards and providing advice for people to handle the software supply chain. So if you get something that's got open sourcing and your vendor didn't do their license compliance right, when you redistribute it you're not going to have much luck. So they want to look at the whole software supply chain and fix this to define a specification, training, curriculum and a conformance process for that. The last one I want to shout out is the software heritage foundation. So they focus on collecting and preserving software source code over a longer time. They grab individual source files and are searchable by the hash of the source file. They allow submission by a web interface or API and they're actually a project of Inria which is a French National Research Institute for Digital Sciences. So yeah, those three projects I would highly recommend to have a look at. Thank you very much for attending my talk. Not going any more time here but I'm going to be stood around afterwards so if you want to follow up have a chat with me or drop me an email. Thank you very much.


Good after morning, pil pilonim and pil pilonot. Now, don't look it up, let me show you. This is a pil pilon. Okay, shoshanim and shoshanot, pil pilonim and pil pilonot. Today we are going to discuss a very, very tough, unnerving, unsettling, destabilizing, triggering, devastating, ruining topic. You have my word on it. I know that now you will not be able to disengage from watching this video. Indeed, today we are going to discuss self-soothing. How victims of narcissistic abuse soothe themselves, comfort themselves. And they do so by lying to themselves and deceiving themselves. It is my favorite topic. And who the heck am I? My name is Sam Vakny. I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love. Narcissism revisited the first book ever on narcissistic abuse. I'm also a former visiting professor of psychology and currently on the faculty of CIAPS, Commonwealth for International Advanced Professional Studies, Toronto, Canada, United Kingdom, Cambridge and Outreach Campus in Lagos, Nigeria. Okay, enough chitty chatter and banty banter. Let's get to the point.  There's nothing like it. Victims of narcissistic abuse emerge at the other end, devastated, literally, on the point of vanishing, mentally eradicated. And so in a desperate attempt to make sense of what has happened to them, they try to cope with a monopoly of injuries that they've endured. Narcissistic abuse comprises every possible form of maltreatment. And so the victim of narcissistic abuse experiences a harrowing smuggles board, buffet of pain and hurt, including narcissistic injuries. Yes, everyone experiences narcissistic injuries, even healthy people, even normal people. How come? Because everyone has narcissistic defenses against injurious, painful, hurtful reality. How come? Because everyone has healthy narcissism. Everyone has a dose of healthy narcissism. It is the foundation of self-esteem, self-confidence, the regulation of one's sense of self-worth, and the evolution or development gradually of a realistic self-image and self-perception. So the narcissist subjects his victims to such harrowing coercive experience that they react with narcissistic defenses. The narcissistic defenses are triggered. And so they endure multiple narcissistic injuries. And they resort to fantasy, the famous fantasy defense. And here are some of the things that victims of narcissistic abuse keep telling themselves in a desperate attempt to self-soothe, self-comfort, self-recompose, recover somehow and move on. All these narratives are fallacious. They're not true. But they're very, very, very common in communities of narcissistic abuse victims among unscrupulous or simply ignorant coaches, self-styled experts with and without academic degrees and so on so forth. They all mislead victims knowingly or unwittingly, mislead them into believing the following statements. Again, all of them untrue. Statement number one, the narcissist has chosen me because of my qualities. Because somehow I'm special. I stand out or simply because I'm empathetic and kind and a nice person. That's Bollocks in British slang, total nonsense. The narcissist has chosen you because you could provide him with the four S's. Two of the four S's. Sex, supply, sadistic and narcissistic services and safety. Any person who provides a narcissist with two out of the four S's qualifies as an intimate partner.  They don't do kind, they don't do empathy and they don't do intimacy. So who cares? Number two, myth, self-soothing myth. Number two, the narcissist was obsessed with me. He was really into me. Even if he is incapable of love, he was addicted to me. Nope, he was not. The narcissist was into the shared fantasy. He may have been obsessed with the shared fantasy. It's a very common reaction.   That's how much you've metered. In the minute your role was over, you were over. Narcissus has never been obsessed with you. He couldn't care less about you. He never dedicated a second thought to you once your utility has been over. Your expiry date of the shelf you go and another product takes your place.  Myth number three, self soothing, self comforting, lie or deception number three. The best revenge against the narcissist is to have a good life. If I have a good life, if I'm happy, if I'm healthy, if I'm in a new relationship, it will drive the narcissist insane. Nope, it will not actually. The overwhelming vast majority of narcissists couldn't care less about you, about your life, about your intimate relationships, about your state of mind, about your happiness or lack thereof, about your health or lack thereof, about anything about you. The narcissist couldn't care less. The minute your functioning is over, the minute you can no longer provide, this too, of the aforementioned four S's, you do not exist in the narcissist's mind. You've never existed by the way. You've never existed as an external object. You were interjected, you were internalized by the narcissist, converted into an internal object, snapshotted. You were merely a representation of yourself. You were an excuse and very often a poor excuse.  The narcissist is concerned with other issues, which I will come to, but this is not one of them, and no, it's not a revenge. The narcissist has moved on a minute after he has discarded you and has replaced you with a much better, newer version of you. Next, the narcissist keeps obsessing about me, not true in 95% of the cases. In 95% of the cases, the narcissist would have difficulty recalling your name or anything meaningful about your biography, your family, your friends, your history, things you've done together, common pursuits, common interests, common values, beliefs, anything. You've been erased, you've been deleted from the narcissist's memory, you've been disabled and deactivated as an internal object. The narcissist is so highly dissociative that he can't put together more than a few minutes of the time you've been a couple. I once made an experiment and I could recall the equivalent of one hour out of my first marriage, which lasted eight years. This is how much you matter to the narcissist. So the narcissist doesn't keep obsessing about you in 95% of the cases. But in 5% of the cases, there are types of narcissists who are comorbid, narcissists with borderline, narcissists with psychopathy. These kinds of narcissists might still be interested in you for revenge sake. They would seek revenge on you. And many narcissists would attempt to hover you in the future because you could be of some use. More commonly, narcissists would talk about you in a disparaging way, usually, in order to pose as a victim and attract new mothers, new sources of supply into the shared fantasy. That's the extent of your usefulness to the narcissist. Once you have been devalued and discarded, the narcissist disables you, erases you from his mind, out of sight, out of mind. Now your introject is left behind, the snapshot, the hidden object, the internal object. And in due time, the narcissist reactivates it, re-idealizes it and tries to lure you back into a new shared fantasy, a process known as hoovering. But in between these two points in time, the discard and the hoover, you might as well have never existed. Next, the narcissist regrets having lost me, you keep telling yourself. No, he wasn't, he isn't. He is relieved, he is elated. This was the aim of the whole exercise. This is the purpose of the shared fantasy, separation, individuation. The whole thing was aimed at devaluing and discarding you at the end. That's why you have no hope in any relationship with the narcissist, because narcissists are hell-bent on re-enacting early conflicts with their mothers, the real mother, the biological mother, and attempting to recreate the separation, individuation phase. They need, the narcissist needs to devalue you. He needs to discard you. He doesn't regret having lost you. He regrets having to hoover you. He regrets the fact that you have consumed and wasted so much of his time and scarce resources. So you have become a secretary object. How could anyone regret having lost an enemy? Next, next myth, next self-deceptive narrative or story, which victims tell themselves and coaches and self-styled experts help them with this self-deception because it pays. Okay, next, I did nothing to deserve this and I've contributed nothing to this predicament happening. Not true, of course. This is a form of splitting. The narcissist is all bad and I am all good and utterly innocent. I enlarge upon it in the second part of this video. This is a form of splitting. It's a defense mechanism falsifies and reframes reality counterfactually. It's not true.  You did nothing to deserve the abuse. No one deserves abuse, period. There's no justification, no excuse for abuse. I agree with this part. But to claim that you have been an angel, that you have contributed nothing, that you have never reacted abusively to the narcissist's abuse, is a lie in the overwhelming vast majority of cases, maybe in all cases.  It's equally truthful. Next, I have learned so much and this experience has taught me a lesson. Not true. You're going to repeat. You're going to do it again and again. This is called repetition compulsion. Your next partner is nine times more likely to be another narcissist than a non narcissist. If you don't take care of your own issues, if you don't own the situation, if you don't accept your responsibility, if you don't own yourself accountable, you're going to repeat this. It's going to happen to you again. You're going to make the same bad choices, flawed decisions. You're going to end up exactly in the same place that you have started. This is known as repetition compulsion. Your cognition is improved. Now you know things. Your knowledge is improved. It has taught you things. But in the absence of an overall, emotional overall, in the absence of therapy, in the absence of healing, in the absence of transforming yourself, all the knowledge in the world is not going to help you. And you're going to find yourself time and again exactly in the same quagmire and conundrum and swamp and predicament that you're here, that you're in right now. Last thing, go to therapy, attend therapy. It will empower you. It will heal you and it will set you free. The truth is that taking action of any kind would improve your state of mind and induce recovery and healing. Going to therapy is taking action. So I'm not against it, of course.  It will have zero impact. It may even regress you and make your condition worse. You need to work on yourself before you attend therapy. So don't listen to those who tell you therapy is the solution. Therapy is a superpower. Therapy is equivalent to healing. Therapy is recovery. Therapy is guaranteed to work. Mysteriously, these are the very people who are selling courses, provide coaching and therapy. Isn't it a bit suspicious? Isn't it a bit self-interested? Isn't it a bit fraudulent and deceptive to make this claim? Because studies have shown conclusively that therapy is effective only in certain situations and only if certain conditions are met. So it's not a panacea. It's not a silver bullet or a magic bullet. These are the lies, prevarications, false narratives and deceptions that victims of narcissistic abuse use, deploy to salvage themselves and solve their wounds to somehow self-sooth and self-comfort. It's like the kind of stories children tell themselves in the dark. But there's an army of coaches and self-stunned experts who for lack of a better world a world malevolently tell victims that these are not lies and not deceptions. These things are true. They are blameless and they should look no further. They have been victimized and this is what they should do that they have been special that they have been chosen that they have been targeted and so on and so forth. These are all grandiose defenses grandiose lies. You have never been special to the narcissist. You have been instrumentalized, it's as simple as that. You have meant nothing to the narcissist and you mean nothing to the narcissist right now. And no, you have not been blameless. You have contributed to your own situation and predicament. And no, therapy is not going to help you unless you prepare yourself and acquire the right state of mind and if you don't do anything about your own involvement in what has happened to you you are going to repeat you are going to find yourself going through identical cycles with people who resemble your ex to an uncanny degree. What do victims of narcissistic abuse really want? But first before I answer this question what qualifies me to discuss it at all? Well I am the guy who first described narcissistic abuse in the early 90s coined almost all the language in use today I have spent 28 years studying narcissistic abuse I have had the first website on narcissistic abuse published the first book on narcissistic abuse and moderated and owned the first 6 support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse and for 10 years for 10 years until 2004 I have been the lone voice online until people discovered the money element the money potential and there was a flood of gold diggers so these are my qualifications I feel pretty comfortable to answer these questions What do victims of narcissistic abuse especially those online want? Here is what they want They want to be told that they are angels that they have had no contribution to their predicament that they are not responsible and should not be held responsible for their choices and decisions they have made for their made selection that in general they are blameless guiltless blemishless impeccable and perfect immaculate in effect They want to be told that the narcissist is demonic narcissist is evil the narcissist is wicked, skimming cunning, monstrous reptilian, horrible non-entity that they have fallen prey to a supernatural force that they have just been innocent bystanders who were swept away by a malevolent malicious person They want to be told that narcissists are all bad and they are all good and this is a pathological it's a pathological I repeat defense mechanism known as splitting who else does splitting narcissists do borderlines do splitting is a hallmark of cluster B personality disorders victims online the vast majority of them engage constantly in splitting I am all good the narcissist is all bad I am not responsible for anything that has happened it's all the narcissist's fault he is 100% to blame and so on the next thing victims of narcissists want is to learn how to destroy the narcissist torture the narcissist kill the narcissist ruin the narcissist they are seething with vengeance and vindictiveness and if I have ever seen evil this is it this precisely is it the overwhelming wish to destroy another person's life is evil period regardless of who that other person is well except in cases where grave crimes have been committed and so on and so forth but generally among normal people people in daily life vengeance and vindictiveness of this caliber are indicative of serious mental health problems and a modicum of evil so this is also what they want to hear and there is a crop of coaches and self-styled experts with and without academic degrees who cater to these needs they cater to the victims newfound victimhood status the victims engage in signaling they signal to each other I am entitled to special treatment I am so fragile and so vulnerable and so damaged and so broken and so mistreated and so subjected to injustice that I now have rights I now am entitled entitlement is a hallmark of narcissism and these coaches and self-styled experts cater to this victimhood signaling by the way manipulative signaling competitive victimhood it's a phenomenon recently described in literature and these coaches and self-styled experts they tell victims what they want to hear and they laugh all the way to the bank and they make frequent trips to the bank, believe me one last thing what is it that victims don't want to do they do not want to learn they do not want to study they do not want to go deep they do not want to understand what's wrong with the narcissist of course but also what is wrong with them they do not want to soul search they do not want to assume responsibility they do not want to be held accountable they do not want to acknowledge their contributions to what had happened to them they do not want any of this they want to be told you are all good the narcissist is all bad it's not your fault, none of it your victims and I will teach you how to get back at the narcissist how to torture and destroy and ruin and take revenge on him that's what they want and that's what they are getting online not a pretty picture either with the narcissist or with other ostensible victims so hello everyone we have a special guest today some of you may know him if not I would like to introduce him it's a professor Sam Vaknim the author of Malignan Self-Love Narcissism Revisited and Professor of Finance and Psychology in SIAAS SIAAS Centre for International Advanced and Professional Studies Hello Sam Hello, just two corrections I'm visiting professor of psychology and now I resigned my post as a professor of psychology I'm only a professor of finance so psychology is in my past but still on my mind okay then so today I would like to ask you some questions about how narcissist is affected us and how narcissist voice is becomes ours I think it's really important to understand in the healing journey for everyone who was affected by narcissist so yes, maybe let's start by describing like a typical profile of a victim of narcissist abuse Narcissist team up they create couples and we are talking only about intimate relationships but actually everything they are about to say applies to friendships the workplace studies all relationships with narcissist are structured the same way because narcissists don't recognize or experience intimacy as far as the narcissist is concerned there is no such thing as intimate relationship all relationships are the same and the goal of all relationships is narcissistic supply and the intimate partner provides also services sometimes sex sometimes other things but generally the narcissist doesn't have a preference for any specific type if you provided the narcissist with what he needs then you are good to go so many narcissists team up as psychopaths for example many narcissists have borderlines as partners co-dependence or just normal healthy regular people it is a myth it's not true that narcissists have a preferred preferred type narcissists couldn't care less if you have empathy because I go online and I see many victims and self-starved victims so called empaths they keep saying the narcissist chose me because I'm a good person because I have empathy narcissists couldn't care less if you have empathy he doesn't have empathy he doesn't need empathy he needs supply and services so the narcissist is indiscriminate he is promiscuous but it is true that certain types of people are more attracted to narcissists and that people with borderline personality disorder would be more attracted to narcissists and the same goes for dependent personality disorder also known as co-dependency co-dependence and borderlines are the most attracted to narcissists because narcissists provide them with the illusion of safety and external regulation borderline cannot regulate her emotions she cannot control her moods she has mobility she has dysregulation and she outsources her mind her internal processes to the narcissists so he becomes a part of her mind this is known as external regulation the co-dependent teams up with the narcissists because the narcissist is delighted to take over all the daily functions to control the life of the co-dependent because the narcissist feels grandiose he feels like he is godlike so the co-dependent allows the narcissists to feel godlike and the borderline allows the narcissists to feel like her best friend her rock the one who calms her down the one who gives her inner peace the one who reduces her anxiety the one around which she feels stable and safe and wonderful so that's why they are attracted to narcissists okay I understand so how is it come that narcissists voice is becoming ours like how would these processes look like the narcissist does what Joseph Goebbels said Joseph Goebbels said if you repeat a lie often enough people will believe it's true the narcissist secret source his secret technique is repetition the narcissist simply repeats he has a limited repertory of sentences some of these sentences are highly positive they are sentences of idealization so in the love bombing phase the narcissist would repeat the same sentences but they would be positive sentences they would idealize it and also has a repertory of negative sentences and when he abuses you he will repeat these negative sentences now we have known since 2006 that if you repeat the same sentences again and again they have an impact on the brain they somehow affect the brain it's very similar with music it's the same with music and so on but we didn't know how it's done and now we know how it's done it's a process called entraining it means that if you repeat the same sentence again and again and again and if you are a figure of authority if there's an asymmetry of authority or perceived as an authoritative figure or if the other person is dependent on you so there is an asymmetry of power or asymmetry of trust then these sentences would synchronize your brain waves with the abuser's brain waves there would be a synchronization of brain waves literally physical brain waves so your brain would become a replica of the abuser's brain it's terrifying it's much more than brainwashing it's much more than brainwashing it's simply taking over your brain and making your brain an extension of the abuser's brain and that is known as entraining now we discovered entraining in music we found out in experiments conducted 10 years ago that when people play music together their brains become one brain all the brains of the members of a rock band or a pop group all the brains of all the members the drummer, the bassist the singer all the brains begin to emit simultaneously identical wave patterns they become essentially a single brain like a colony, like a hive a single brain and this is what happens in abuse the abuser creates a single brain with you so effectively this is merger and fusion from that moment on the only voice is the abuser's voice you don't have a voice anymore because the abuser has taken over your brain his voice is the only voice of course his voice synchronizes your brain with his brain and so gradually his voice silences all the other voices in your mind now just to be clear all people including healthy people they have internal voices these internal voices are known as introjects these internal voices belong to very significant people in your life so you have an internal voice of your mother, internal voice of your father an important teacher peers, influential peers even media figures even role model even politicians, even influencers they create inside you an introject, a voice when you are exposed to narcissistic abuse via the process of entraining all these voices without exception they are silenced and the only voice in your head that resonates in your head is the abuser's voice now sometimes the voice of the abuser will collaborate with other voices inside your mind in order to accomplish some manipulative goal so for example if you have a voice of a mother an introject of your mother and this voice is telling you you are not good you are bad, you are failure you are worthy so the abuser will collaborate with this voice his voice will create a coalition with your mother's voice and will amplify it so ultimately what is left in your mind are only the negative introjects only the introjects that put you down only the introjects associated with what we call a bad object the abuser convinces you gradually that you are bad inadequate, insufficient failure, a loser, ugly stupid and so on and so forth and he does this by creating these alliances of similar voices inside your mind and this is why when the abuser is done his voice remains inside your mind so after this this process and when we are you know after relationship, any kind with a narcissist can we become NPD then after this kind of abuse it's well documented that people who suffered from complex trauma CPTSD begin to display narcissistic and even psychopathic behaviors they acquire some superficial psychopathic and narcissistic traits their empathy is reduced dramatically the capacity to empathize is dramatically reduced this is common to all trauma by the way all trauma victims have difficulties with empathy and so for a little while a few months up to a few years your behavior is a victim of abuse prolonged abuse could become indistinguishable from the behavior of a narcissist or even or even a psychopath and this is but luckily this is reversible as the effects of the trauma wear off as you are exposed to therapy which you should if you are a victim of narcissistic abuse you should attend therapy then these traits and behaviors gradually disappear so this is artificial this is superficial, this is not life form okay so after this when we decided that we are going to the therapy any kind what we should do first before we start any kind like gestalt internal family system psychodynamic doesn't matter but what is the most important thing to do with this especially with this voice because if this voice is affected us then this voice can take any method any experiment any exercise that we can learn to use this against us isn't it yes very true this voice co-ops it uses anything you learn especially anything you learn about yourself and then uses it against you it's like you know when you are arrested in the United States they tell you anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law so this is the thing the first thing you need to do is stop considering yourself a victim you have been victimized it doesn't make you a victim in other words don't adopt victimhood as an identity don't become a victim as a definition of who you are you are not a victim you have been victimized that's the first thing the second thing you must recognize your contribution to what had happened if you deny that you have had any contribution if you say I was a perfect angel I was a perfect angel and my abuser is a perfect demon is the devil you know and so it was an accident it could have happened to anyone I did nothing wrong I did not contribute anything to it then you will never heal and you will repeat the same mistake again and again and again all people who are victimized by abusers especially by narcissists and so on do contribute to their own abuse and they need to ask themselves what did I do wrong for example maybe the way I am selecting intimate partners is wrong maybe I had psychological needs and the narcissist fulfilled his needs in the wrong way maybe I wanted to be abused in some way this is known as projective identification because I consider myself a bad object which should be punished maybe I have self destructiveness and self defeat and the urge to self punish because I self love or I don't love myself enough maybe there is a self love deficit so the first stage I am not a victim that's not my identity I have been victimized the second stage I contributed to my predicament I contributed to the situation that I find myself now how did I do that and how not to do this again the third phase and this is before going to therapy the third phase the third phase is to say I have voices talking to me inside my head which is totally normal by the way every human being I have voices for example if you have a conscience whenever you want to do something your conscience tells you don't do this this is wrong it's not okay to do this so your conscience is a voice inside your head that tells you what is right and what is wrong it's an example of an introject the third step is to ask yourself which of these voices are mine and which of these voices are not mine which of these voices are authentic and which of these voices are inauthentic and how would you identify how would you know that was my another question how to recognize which voices which there is actually a very simple way you have a voice of a mother inside your head and to prevent ego-distony to prevent discomfort to prevent inconvenience you lie to yourself and you say this is not my mother's voice this is my voice so very often we adopt the introjects as us we identify with the introjects the process is called identification we identify with the introjects to prevent ego-distony to prevent extreme dissonance to prevent anxiety we say these voices are these are my voices these are authentic voices and actually they are not they are your mother's voice they are your abuser's voice they are not your voice how do you know how can you tell I'm going to give you one simple rule if the voice criticizes you all the time never gives you a compliment tells you that you are bad inadequate, insufficient unworthy, failure, stupid ugly and so on if these are the messages of the introject if these are the automatic thoughts generated by the voice this voice is not yours simple a voice that is yours will be reality based reality tested and balanced it would be a balanced voice so this kind of voice sometimes will tell you bravo you did a good thing you should congratulate yourself you deserve a glass of wine or a new handbag or this kind of voice will tell you you see how he is looking at you you are beautiful or this voice will tell you look at how much you have accomplished and sometimes this voice will tell you you really screwed up you didn't think to the end next time think to the end so a voice that is yours is like the voice of a good friend or like the voice of a truly loving mother or a truly loving father it's a voice that is reality based and balanced voice that is 95% of the time negative and wants to pull you down and put you down and destroy you and criticize you harshly and so on is sadistic voice that is never ever your voice never so this is stage 3 stage 3 is to identify the voices that are not your voices and stage 4 and the last one before you go to therapy is to silence this voice whenever the voices which are not your the inauthentic voices begin to criticize you or use bad object characterization of you you silence them how do you silence them you say shut up that's all you say shut up now if it's not working this shut up it does work if you intervene early in the voice you don't let it speak you use your voice to silence it you say shut up I don't want to listen to you I know you're my enemy I know you don't like me so you don't let the voice speak you flood it with your own messaging in the beginning it's not going to work but after a while these voices will be silenced because they will not be able to express themselves we have a principle in psychology a principle of mental economy anything that cannot be used will atrophy and die so if there is something inside you that you cannot use you will lose it it's called use it or lose it if you have voices inside you and you keep silencing them all the time finally they will die because they are not needed anymore this is the principle of mental economy and this is what we do in CBT in CBT in cognitive behavioural therapy we identify negative automatic thoughts automatic thoughts such as I will always fail or I'm very fat or I'm ugly no one would want to date me these are negative automatic thoughts and then what we do in cognitive behavioural therapy we demonstrate to you that these voices are wrong and how do we do that we force you to use other voices we force you to use other information this other information contradicts the voice and whenever the voice comes up you use that information so for example if the voice says you are ugly no one would ever date you you say but it's not true I dated 5 men in the last 10 years and this is a voice this replica this response to the negative voice is like another voice so gradually the automatic negative voice shuts up and disappears CBT is the most successful treatment modality in the world it's the most most efficacious most efficient treatment there is and this is exactly what it does it silences automatic negative thoughts so you should you should apply self CBT to some extent then when you finish with these 4 phases you are ready for therapy if you go to therapy before you finish these 4 phases the narcissist inside your mind will take over the therapy will dominate the therapy and will abuse the therapy against you and this is why victims or people who consider themselves have been victimized they complain that the therapist becomes a friend of the narcissist the therapist is compromised by the narcissist and it is quite true it's true when the narcissist is there because the narcissist is charming and manipulative and so on but it's also true when the narcissist is not there the therapist will react very strongly to the narcissist voice and so the therapist needs your help also the therapist also needs your help because if you come to the therapist and you are still contaminated adulterated infected with the narcissist voice it will make it very difficult for the therapist as well and very often the therapist will make a mistake and believe that voice not you and begin to collaborate with that voice against you even a well trained therapist everyone knows in the field in the profession everyone that the most difficult patients to treat are lastices and borderlines everyone knows this and the reason it's very difficult to treat them is that very often they corrupt the therapy they contaminate the therapy they infect the process of therapy and so the process is destroyed from the inside because the narcissist corrupted the therapist corrupted the therapy and it's no longer helpful so don't bring the narcissist with you to the therapist even if the narcissist is inside your head don't bring him with you to the therapist that's all I'm saying now I'll put my glasses back I do agree especially what you said before that what I can see when I'm working with people that the main problem is a lot of them they don't want to take their responsibility for what was their impact there and this is the main point where they stuck they cannot move when they will not take this responsibility I can tell even in my own therapy the first thing that I made was like yes I'm taking my part and I'm taking responsibility and I can say that that was the most important thing on the beginning I think there are two problems yeah please go ahead yeah go ahead I think there are two problems if you don't admit your role if you don't admit your contribution maybe it's not responsibility but if you don't admit your contribution to the abuse there are two problems with that first of all it means that you are an object you're objectifying yourself if you didn't do anything if you didn't contribute anything then you are like an object the narcissist comes and he uses you like an object and he goes so you are objectifying yourself you are taking away your autonomy you are taking away your agency you are you don't have so this is the first outcome the narcissist wants to objectify you this is what the narcissist wants to do he wants you to feel like an object and you're helping him when you say I'm an angel he's a demon this was an accident you're helping him because that means you are not a human being human beings make choices decisions human beings are responsible for their actions human beings are responsible for their inaction human beings are not just there things don't just happen to human beings that's why I don't like the phrase and magnet you're not a magnet magnets are passive magnets do nothing they're just there you're not a magnet you're a human being you're an agent so don't collaborate with the narcissist to convert you from a full-fledged human being to a magnet the second problem if you don't admit your contribution your role the second problem is learned helplessness if you were abused to this extent and you could do nothing about it and you did do nothing you're helpless you're absolutely totally helpless you're impotent so this is called learned helplessness so if you are helpless your helpless means you can be abused again and again and again it will happen to you endlessly until you die because you're helpless there's nothing you could do there's nothing you did do you were just there waiting and the abuse came from nowhere you had nothing to do with it so if this happened to you once maybe it can happen to you again when we interview survivors of car crashes airplane crashes and natural disasters this is the biggest problem there is nothing you can do when you are in an airplane and the airplane crashes nothing you could do so these people learn that they are totally helpless and so at that moment they develop PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder happens only when you feel that you are a thousand percent helpless if you believe that you can do something if you believe that you have agency you will never develop PTSD never as long as you believe that you can still do something still affect your destiny still make choices that will determine your life as long as you believe this you will not be traumatized trauma is when you are a helpless object like a baby like a six-month-old baby so the narcissist infantilizes you he makes you he regresses you he makes you like a baby and then when I go to forums of victims and so on like big babies there is nothing they could do they were just like a baby and someone came and slapped them beat them up, I don't know it's not true these people are not babies there is a lot they could have done many choices they could have taken many decisions they could have made they did not make them and they made other wrong choices and decisions that they refuse to face this fact how will they ever heal how will they ever get rid of a trauma and how will they ever avoid making the same mistake again yes thank you for this and thank you some for these four steps before therapy what people should do before they start looking for a professional or whether they want to work with because I think it's really important to understand that this is different kind of abuse than the other one so thank you so much for this have you got any advice or would you like to say something to people because I don't have any question about that narcissistic abuse is a unique experience and that is a reason that I coined the phrase narcissistic abuse because people ask me immediately a special type of abuse why don't you just say abuse why do you say narcissistic abuse what's so special what is special is this typical abusers they want something from you they want to take your money they want to have sex with you they want to humiliate you they like to humiliate you they enjoy causing you pain but they are very goal oriented and highly focused that's why we have financial abuse legal abuse, physical abuse verbal abuse, psychological abuse because abuse is narrow abuse is narrow is like unique like a tunnel narcissistic abuse is total total the aim of narcissistic abuse is to kill you mentally to deprive you of autonomy agency, independence to take over your mind to inject into you powerful introjects that you will mistake and you will think they are you to prevent you from diverging or deviating from an idealized image inside the mind of the narcissists to cut you off family and friends and support networks to deny you the opportunity to travel, work or gain any form of independence it's a total attack I compare other forms of abuse to conventional war while narcissistic abuse is nuclear war no one survives no one survives except the narcissists so this is why this is why you cannot think of narcissistic abuses just another type of abuse the damage is total to your body, to your mind to your ability to think to your ability to feel to empathize, to survive to function, everything is damaged completely, massively you need in other words to rebuild you need reconstruction while other forms of abuse not narcissistic abuse you need recovery after narcissistic abuse after narcissistic abuse you need reconstruction not recovery recovery is not the most you need reconstruction because you can recover from some effects but you will still be destroyed demolished you need to rebuild yourself that's true thank you so much for the phrase that you coined thank you for your knowledge because it's priceless good to see you thank you bye


Ronnie crypto drop decently just now. Yeah, money's starting to pour into South Asia. Is it going to South Asia post-apocalypse? safe haven gang anywhere outside of war zones safe havens and a crypto gang just might take We might see a serious drop in crypto Bitcoin might might might do a pop-up, but might hit 30,000 might go all the way down to 18,000 even. Okay, if not lower, okay We'll see it might pop up to 60. It could go either way, but there is serious shifts happening So for example silver is below It's 22 now, I believe 22 something now, right? It broke the fifth 200-day moving average hard. Boom, right? Because interest rates are about to go through the roof, right? You


So it turns out that the famous pool rooms level, level 37, has a couple of secrets that I didn't know about, and maybe you didn't either. Specifically that there are two hidden sub-levels that are accessed through the pool rooms. That's right, two entire sub-levels, and I had no clue. And in this video, I want to dive into them, you get what I did there. Anyways, if that sounds interesting, stick around for the explanation. But first, check out my second channel, man, for more of your boy. Alright, now, let's get into the video. Also, the last couple minutes of the video, I'm going to be explaining to you all about the Brugley Summer Spectacular, where I'm going to be uploading over 50 videos from May to June. I'm going to be detailing the content, going over the schedule, all that good stuff, just stick around for the end of the video. You won't be disappointed. The first secret sub-level of the pool rooms is called level 37.3, or forest luxury. This level is located between 37 and 38, obviously, that's why it's called a sub-level. You can get to the sub-level by wandering into the pool rooms until you find a modern looking house. And this house will look like it actually belongs in the pool rooms, because it kind of blends in, it has the same tile on the outside and that kind of stuff. But if you open the door to it and you walk into it, you'll be sent to the sub-level area, which itself is classified as a Class 1 difficulty, so it's pretty safe, and it's split into two different parts. The interior, or the inside of the house, and the exterior, the front and backyards. The interior of the house looks like a nice modern house. New appliances, new decorations, and it smells like air freshener. There are actually bedrooms here in this house, and all the rooms are furnished with decorations and amenities, you know, like tables, chairs, beds, mattresses, blankets, all that stuff. And you can actually sleep in the bedrooms, and it's recommended to, because they're comfortable, apparently. The exterior part of the area is the front and back yard, like I said, and also the porch area. This is a big difference from how the main part of the pool rooms looks, because there's grass here, and there's water in the pool rooms. So you actually might be happy to stumble upon this sub-level, so you don't have to keep swimming. It's kind of like a good resting area.  And it took Meg a bunch of tries to get into it, and when they did, they found a ton of supplies, stashed away, like almond water, food, and other stuff. And weirdly, there was a note there that said, quote, Good job on opening the garage door. I didn't expect anyone to open it. So here's some rewards. Now, after all the supplies were searched, the door itself was looked at thoroughly by Meg scientists. And it turns out that it's made out of titanium, which is extremely strong and overdoing it for a garage door. So no one knows why the garage door was so thick and strong. There's also a pool in the house's backyard that gets deeper and deeper the further you go down through it. It's actually thought that the water might take you back to the main pool rooms level, but that's not confirmed right now. In this little area, there's actually a couple of friendly colonies that permanently live here.  You can enter this sub-level by finding that modern house in the pool rooms and walking through the door, or you can exit by walking out past the front yard of the house. And that will send you back to the main part of level 37. So that was the first secret sub-level of the pool rooms. Now it's time for the second one, which is sub-level 37.5 or the pool of the hotel. It's classified as a class zero and is the safest area throughout all of the pool rooms domain. It's got the lowest classification ranking. But an interesting thing is, is that it's not exactly known where the level is. It's somewhere between level five and 37. We know that for a fact, but it's thought to be right after the pool rooms main level. The level itself is a tiny-ish pool area at the bottom of a slide. The pool itself looks really similar to the pool rooms with the tile and stuff, but inside of this pool's water is fish. Interesting. And this area can only be gotten to by going down that slide to get here. The only entities here are the fish in the water and this bat creature called the rollers. They're both harmless. And they'll just let you swim in peace, man. To get to this area, you got to go down that slide, like I said, but the slide's entrance is from level five, which is a sneaky way to get to the pool rooms. To exit to this hidden pool area, you can go through a door hatch down there that leads you to the pool rooms, or you can walk back up the slide the way you came, but it'll take you to level negative five instead of level five. So you get to pick your poison. And that was the second secret sub-level of the pool rooms. It's not as much a level as it is like a secret location, but it's rarer to get to than the first one I talked about. So I'm counted as a sub-level. Hope you enjoyed. That wraps up the pool rooms deepest secrets video. Hope you liked it or enjoyed it or both. Thank you for watching the full video. If you're still watching, I appreciate you. And if you don't mind comment, BSS 4 because the Brugley summer spectacular starts in four days on Monday, May 2nd at 4 p.m. Eastern will be the first upload. Now, if you don't know what I'm doing for the BSS or the Brugley summer spectacular, I'm going to explain it here, but I'm also going to release a short on Saturday to go in-depth with the schedule so you'll be able to see my uploads. Pretty much the Brugley summer spectacular is a movement that I'm doing this summer from May, June to July where I'm going to be going over backroom levels 13 through 50. I'm going to be making other level videos, other fan-made levels videos, joke levels videos and even some non-backroom related content. So that's going to be over 60 videos in May to June alone. That's not even counting the July videos. There's going to be a ton of videos going up, so make sure you got your notifications on and subscribe. So the videos will show up in your sub box, people. There's going to be so much content coming up here. Levels 13 through 50 explanations, fan-made levels, the normal type of videos I do, entity shorts, new shorts, and like Reddit mysteries type stuff. It's going to be awesome guys. I mean, it's literally going to be so fun and that doesn't even count my second channel this summer, which is Tugli, which I'm going to be streaming on and uploading so much over there. Minecraft videos, roll blocks, backrooms, maps, rants, tier lists, story times. It's going to be a really fun time and it's all part of the Brugley summer spectacular. It's all part of the same thing. Hope that sounds cool because it's going to be. Thank you for watching the video and supporting me. I really appreciate you. Thank you all very much for everything. The channel is just growing insane. We're on the road to 500K. Thank you all so much. Thank you very much and I'll see you all on Saturday with a short explaining in detail the Brugley summer spectacular. See you then. Peace.


Realistic goals unrealistic goals. Oh my days.   Okay, and then I stumbled on this movie Wall Street money never sleeps and I was watching Shire a buff that's his name. I think yeah, and he had this really nice condo in New York was driving a BMW He just got a bonus from keller's able that was the name of his investment for those of you Training fanatics you probably watched the movie he was working for a phone called keller's able and His the MD the managing director the CEO of the company had just caught him a check of Excuse me of 1.2 million US dollars.  I need to you know, I need to start trading a FX wasn't even the first thing I wanted to start reading what stocks because I saw Charlotte both trading stocks in the movies.  You see I put a really nice project Ferrari there And then the next thing you start thinking that oh, I can make this fortune as well And then for some strange reason people make you believe that you can take something as little as 500 pounds and make I don't know 50k with it. That's absolutely impossible. Okay, so this leads you to making a series of series of unrealistic Expectations. Okay, but I said the example taking $1,000 to $10,000 in one month is a big typical thought process of a new trader Okay, what actually happens in the real sense is that they over leverage? Okay, you over leverage those trade because it is literally almost impossible for you to use Properest management and take $1,000 to $10,000 in one trading month.  Okay, so what actually happens in the real sense is that you over leverage Over trade and eventually your $1,000 is gone That's the truth. Okay, so If you're listening to this today, you wanted you wanted to get me to this market because of probably what seemed from other people Probably what you've even seen on my social media You have to remember that I have been trading this market for eight years It took me a while to get here. I'm not trying to say it's gonna take eight years to achieve success It took me eight years to get here because I didn't have any mentor anybody to guide me any coach and all that Until I got to the UK and I was able to get in contact with a couple of investment investment Some traders who work for an investment firm will actually show me the ropes. Okay, that's why it took me this long But you know, it's literally impossible for you to come into this market. I want to make money right up the back You need to take a course. Okay. I'm not saying this because we have a course. Yes We do have a course, which is quite affordable But if you don't take the cost, you're doing yourself a great injustice because you're gonna fall for all these traps Okay, it's impossible for you to take one grand to ten grand literally impossible Okay, so, you know, like what I was saying if you're looking at what's happening on my Instagram. Yes, you can achieve that You can achieve that but you're not gonna achieve that in a month. Actually, you're going to achieve that But you can't achieve that in one month. It's not possible Okay, it's not possible. I've looked at this market for years and years my eyes Literally, I'll sleep over my desk like this I'll literally sleep over my desk because I was looking at charts. Okay But yeah, unrealistic goes one of the biggest killers of Traders and you need to factor this into your trader psychology kick it out the way you kick it out the door. All right The next on my list is opening multiple positions. Yes opening multiple positions I used to be I used to do this a lot, especially once I got the hang of technical analysis May I was a very I'm telling you once I I finally met my mentor of London. Yeah, so this this really good FX trader who used to trade for the hedge for an investment investment firm Okay, the guy taught me how to use a trend line support resistance Fibonacci and so on and so forth all the stuff that I Talk about with on my analysis of my weekly analysis that I drop here on the course as well So once I was able to let all that stuff that he taught me really well, you know every child I opened I always had you know, I was able to turn the night I was able to analyze it and For that I was able to analyze it I was not able to see a whole lot of trading opportunities that I wasn't able to see on a normal day Okay, so I saw these are all these really cool training opportunities I like, you know what I'm just gonna take all of them I mean if I can make 10% of this one all I need to do is take 10 Take 10 trades and I flip my count. Okay, and it makes sense to me because I was still keeping my risk management intact Okay, I was still keeping my risk management intact. Listen to this I was keeping my risk management in touch because I will listen risk just 3% I make 10% of my count risk 3% to make 10% Make perfect sense. Okay However, I couldn't I could I could make that process a lot faster if I did that If I did that 10 times in a row, okay? That was the plan, but somewhere along the line. I see I see so many trade opportunities Open the screen click click click click click. There was literally time. I have 15 open positions. Okay, 15 open positions I'll tell you how that went You know the outcome of that towards the end of this slide anyways So three of us easily get carried away with number of instruments at the disposal now guys They're over 25 financial instruments. You can trade at any given time from your effects broker Okay, it's very easy for you to get carried away. Okay, you can achieve occasional success from this. However, it is not Sustainable why because each means you just got See how stress he looked this guy looks so freaking stress. Can you see how many screens go? You don't want this to be this guy's blood pressure is probably pump boys through Okay, because each trade requires undivided attention. Okay, each trade requires It's on the like this. Can you drive two cars at the same time?  Okay, he doesn't guarantee more profit. Okay guys number. This is still on the trader psychology This admit that you to get out of your head opening multiple positions Opening multiple positions does not guarantee profit It actually reduces your ability to give undivided attention to each and every trade Okay, now when the market starts to retrace When the market starts to retrace it becomes very tasking to efficiently manage more than three trades at the same time Good Tell you the story now.  I was probably of 18,000 pounds. Okay, 18 18,000 pounds like I was gonna take the account of 24 30k if those trade have continued the way when I did them to vote So I left my computer and I went in for a meeting. So I was having a coaching session Okay, I went in for a meeting to teach a couple of traders how to you know trade and stuff And by the time I got to the meeting and right before my meeting right before my meeting this What's the name Jenny Yellen? She was the Fed chairman of the She was she's the Fed chairman. I don't know if she's still the Fed chairman now But you know, she was due to speak but I couldn't believe what she was due to speak at the time So, you know, I had all these positions open up was plus 18 grand hours feeling so cool Guys, you wouldn't believe when I was coaching this cost Just imagine you're coaching a class you're up 18 grand and right before your eyes on the big screen Now you're coaching this car, you know, you just you see you log on to your trading platform Now you're trying your charging software you put it on the screen and then right before your eyes You're seeing the market He was tanking now guys I had 18 positions open 18 or 15 I had so many I can't remember how many but I had so many positions open Guys, I just tried I tried not to look they could tell like it was I was distracted But they didn't know exactly know what I was going on Yeah, so I was like, oh my days this coming happening So I closed it open it again, and then the market just kept on bleeding this market I mean bleeding in reverse so hard Mate You know what happened? So then give me a moment. I'll be back. I dashed to my desk Try to salvage as many as I could but guys when I was going through this trade I forgot where what stop loss was where what what I wanted to do with one trade Bottom line was that I was unable to efficiently manage those trade Okay, so I was literally up. I went I was up 18 grand by the time That day was over by the time Jenny Ellen was done speaking. I was down minus three grand It's not big loss, but from going from that means I lost 21 K literally 21 running one day. I was up 18 K by the time the whole thing does click and that was because I was quick I was just excuse me, sorry about that. That was because I was quick I was just closing up If I didn't do that, I'll probably find my come back there you can imagine so open multiple positions is quite dangerous Because you isn't possible for easy I will usually ideally out advice that you keep only three positions open at a time Especially if you're not a professional in this market, okay, because your brain is it's not a computer Okay, your brain is not an hour Don't be greedy guys. Do not be greedy three positions at every given time is fine You can efficiently manage this. Okay, or hi guys now. Thanks for watching that video For those of you who stayed till the end means absolutely the world to me I hope I've been able to impact you guys with enough value for today. Now you you you know You basically get a clear picture of why a lot of traders tend not to be successful in this market They're just little things that just clean up in their head as to why they are able to you know Consistently make money this market I hope I've been able to connect some of those thoughts that missing been able to paint a better picture for you guys for all the Upcoming traders out there who are damn you mean messaging me put us to you guys put us to you guys who want to take your life to the next level You know, and I'm actually really excited to see a whole lot of very young traders now for those of you who want to contact me I'm gonna leave my Instagram handle In the description of this video and obviously for those of you who already know my Instagram handle this I am I am on the school that will hit me or follow drop me or follow DM me tell me your this is the challenge I'm going Book a phone call with me. I'll get on the phone to you. You know, everybody has access to me All right guys, that's it for this video on trader psychology Please don't forget to like and comment if you'd really like this video really helped you please like and comment That's how I'm able to prove this challenge. All right guys, I need to get my sobs up Yeah, I mean I need to get my sobs up. I need to get my sobs up guys Catch you later. Bye