ling to pay if they ask for that because this is something that is really important.  I mean, I know many international programs now that will accommodate schedules even if it's really late for them in different parts of the world, Pakistan, Egypt. I know people who use different services. I've used different services. I still actually use services for my children that are international and they're very affordable. But the point is to make sure that you really take it seriously to recite the Book of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala in the correct way. So tajweed becomes a priority. And then learning Dua's and, you know, supplications and litanies or al-rad, right, or Dua's, these are very important to commit to. I have written several posts on my social media about the importance of committing to a daily formulaic set of prayers. Again, this is all what our teachers taught us for many, you know, many, many years ago that we need to rely on the protective Dua's that the Prophet ﷺ left for us. All of it is from the sunnah. And throughout history, all of our great ulama had this practice. They were very committed to regular, you know, recitation of the Dua's that the Prophet ﷺ left for us. And we know, Alhamdulillah, our deen is complete. So from the morning, you know, time that we wake up in the morning until we go to sleep, throughout the day, there are Dua's to say at every point, you know, regardless of what we're doing, we leave the house, we eat, we get dressed and going into the bathroom, leaving the bathroom. There are so many different Dua's that we could, we should memorize and learn, right, waking up, going to sleep. So finishing our meals, drinking, right, all of these different activities that we do throughout the day. We should know those Dua's and really commit to them. And then the specific protective Dua's that will protect us from all the evils and harms in the world. So when we do these things regularly, you know, we recite the Book of Allah and try to really focus on its meanings or at least get in the practice of regular recitation. And then we recite the Dua's and the supplications of the Prophet ﷺ left for us. Obviously, all of that benefits us in more ways than one. But it also inculcates the sincerity because now our claim of faith is proven by the follow-up of our actions, right, where it's aligning. You know, a lot of people are nominally faithful people, right. In all religious traditions, you have many people who will, you know, claim to be a part of a faith. But the proof of one's faith is certainly in one's actions. And so that's how you want to think about it. And here, of course, the Prophet ﷺ is through these hadith that he's left for us is emphasizing the importance of learning the Qur'an and, of course, teaching it if you take it to the next level. If you do know the Qur'an, this is also an incredible way to gain many, many rewards is to teach the Qur'an. So those were the last or that was the last section of chapter 2. And so again, we're back to now the text. And so the chapter 3 is titled Practical Steps to Changing Our Conditions. So up until now, we've really been talking about it. I mean, if you look at chapter 1, right, we talked about Taqwa, its definition and benefits. Chapter 2 is about the heart and its treatments. So it's really starting from, you know, the foundational beliefs that we should all have about Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala how to inculcate, you know, Taqwa and then, of course, to prove our sincerity. So working on purification of the heart, working on matching again or aligning our deeds with our beliefs. So now we're getting into more practical, everyday, day-to-day activities that our beloved teachers here, Shahamza and Zaid have left for us in terms of really taking it to the next level, sustaining your faith, right? Because all of what we've been doing now is talking about how to purify and really try to maximize our potential in terms of our own devotion and our own beliefs. But now it's like, how do you sustain that? Well, let's look. Let's look at what the advice is. So chapter three, practical steps. So there are a lot of different sections in this chapter, which each section has a lot of, you know, just amazing advice. And I've gone ahead and made this, you know, slide just for us to kind of look at all of the different pathways, you know, practical things that we can do to again solidify, fortify, sustain, maintain our level of faith. And so let's, you know, just look at some of these, the five pillars, of course, we know this is, you know, Islam 101. We all know that you have to know what those five pillars are and know how to regularly tend to those every day, our prayers, our fasts, our zakah, our Hajj, of course, our testimony of faith. All of that is essential to the to sustaining your faith. But then also we look outward, right? Because that's very internal work. But then you want to look outward. So there's the active outreach or that way that we that we'll get into the focus cooperation, good character, right? Coming break. So you'll see this theme ongoing throughout the text where, especially from this point forward, whereas there's this back and forth back and forth this emphasis on outwardly, you know, doing things practically, you know, basically actions that prove one's faith that benefit not just you but other people, right? Being good stewards of the earth. But then it brings it back inward.  A lot of that is outward, right? Then we bring it back to the Quran. We bring it back to the remembrance of Allah, commanding, good and evil. Again, we are, you know doing that outwardly when we see injustices and things that are wrong we should be speaking up. Empathy. It's another very outward action, you know, to be empathic with people is to feel their pain and to try to remove burdens and to really be selfless and to think of others, right?  We bring it back to our own taking care of the Amana that Allah has given us. Being committed people, respecting time our attitude, devotion. So all of these really great topics are covered in chapter 3. And obviously we're not going to have time to go through all of them. So we'll just do the best that we can in this hour that we have. So let's start off right away with the first one, the five pillars. So this is again, remember the point of this chapter is for you to sustain your faith. It's the whole book is about agenda to change our condition. So if you've done all the internal work, or at least you're working on those internal things about, you know, purifying your heart, you need to also realize that burnout is real, right? Spiritual burnout is very real. And we also have a sworn enemy that will do everything possible to prevent us from moving forward, which is why we have to rely on the jamaat. The jamaat is very important in Islam. You know, we're not, we are a dean, we're pretty much everything we do in many ways. If you think about it, there is that group component to it, right? When we pray, of course, we have our own internal very deep dialogue with Allah swt when we're praying, but we're also encouraged to pray in jamaat as often as possible. When we fast, we fast in a month we should fast as often as we can. Of course it's very beneficial, but the emphasis of fasting in Ramadan is that we're doing it as a group and everybody's doing it together. We go to Hajj together. So the jamaat is very important in helping to sustain the momentum and to to take us to the next level, so that we're always growing. So right away, you know, the advice is that we form a serious study group to learn the 5 pillars and this is really good advice too for all Muslims. As I said it in the beginning that it's kind of 101, but if we're really being honest, this isn't just something that converts should be understanding, right? Every all of us can benefit from just reviewing and making sure that we have a clear understanding of the 5 pillars, the spiritual components, the benefits of them and really looking at each one and trying to perfect our practice of those things. So when we talk about the 5 pillars you don't have to simplify it as something that we teach in Sunday school or even in secular schools that's one of the first things they'll teach you about Islam. There's 5 pillars of Islam and you'll see a lot of references to that. That's not a very deep study of the 5 pillars it's just naming them, but when you form a study group this is actually looking at the more detail, the more intricate aspects of these 5 pillars and really getting a detailed understanding of it with guidance of course looking at what our great scholars of the past advised how to do the prayer for example, just a prayer alone, to have a haraqa on the prayer alone this would be impossible to cover in one session it would have to be ongoing, so you could break it up and there's many many different ways to do it, but the point is to take it seriously for yourself that I need this to sustain myself if I'm feeling those spiritual low points maybe it's because I'm trying to do all this by myself, but if I form a group with 2, 3, 4, 5 maybe just a small circle doesn't have to be a big giant group and I know there are many people throughout the country or world who are blessed to have a Sahaba, good companions that they can do these things with and maybe they meet with them regularly, you might already have a haraqa that you're a part of which is great and if you do alhamdulillah I'm sure you feel the weekly or monthly or bi-weekly whatever sustenance you're getting from that group, you feel the benefit of that and in its absence you also feel you know that the effect of that, so this would be really for people who don't have that and they may have never thought of doing that and I've certainly had many many instances where I've given this advice of creating haraqas and not to get intimidated by the idea that oh I'm not a teacher, I don't know anything, you know what do I what can I teach people and so a lot of people they get deterred because they think you'd have to be qualified with a certain amount of knowledge in order to do something like that but you don't, study circles are exactly what they are just like in college or in school when you are a student and you're learning and you realize hey I learn a lot better when I work with groups, it's the same idea so you're an equal member with your peer group or whichever group you get together and the purpose of it is to enhance the studying instead of just being on your own and getting burnt out or not being motivated so there's immense benefit of it and then of course you look to the the text that like Agenda to Change or Conditioned Purification of the Heart, all these other great texts that can offer you guidance on what to talk about, what to study together just reading a text together or even listening to I know people who've done that they will get together in a group but then their study is the Druze of another scholar so they'll listen to scholars and then they'll talk about it, it's like a discussion group so there's so many different formats but the point is take it seriously, take it to the next level make sure you have a Gemma or a circle that you study with and then here the second advice, once you reach adulthood it is required to learn the far behind the individual obligations which I mentioned earlier one of them anyway which was the Tajweed and the five pillars at a starting place so this is for our young children even, we should inculcate this in them that they should have knowledge of these things when they reach the age of adulthood and maturity and that they know that these are very important things and then back to again what we should be focusing on for our own development we should learn Aqidah or creed, what does a Muslim believe in what are the six articles of faith for example and what do we believe about Allah SWT what do we believe about heaven and hell what do we believe about the prophets and about the scriptures all of those things are very important and we should commit to studying them from sounds, traditional sources and teachers but making sure our understanding is solid and I would say just in my experience with working with the community and I say this a lot that I really think a lot of faith crises that we're seeing today is because people don't have very solid creedal understanding they may have learned just some basic things growing up or through their family or even in their local communities but they haven't formally studied it and there are Alhamdulillah texts available but I would definitely encourage you to look into studying it with someone who's qualified because there will be questions that you may have and you want to make sure that you get those answered correctly. I had actually someone reach out to me just earlier this week it was a very deep Aqidah question and it was on an Instagram direct message and so I just replied to her she was really struggling with certain faith concepts and I just told her the questions you have are very deep difficult to have a textual exchange about these things because they're very high level but I referred her to a clip of one of our teachers discussing the very issue she was asking about so there is great content Alhamdulillah online and there are classes being offered you just have to find out where people are teaching Aqidah and try to make sure that they're good sources and sign up because it will really help you to understand your place in this world and how to react accordingly because if you don't understand the design element for example of this world or that it's ephemeral and it's fleeting and you shouldn't attach your heart to it, right? You may be susceptible to things like the spiritual diseases like because you're not seeing it for what it is where when you study Aqidah deeply you'll understand the value of this dunya and especially when you contrast it to the Akhira and you start to just have a better grounded understanding instead of getting swept away so it's very important to study Aqidah of course the prayer making sure that you understand the Fiqh of Tahara, of Salah, of making sure you know how to pray and follow Madhab and make sure that you are doing it according to again how it's been done for hundreds of years and that there's a consistency in your practice making sure you pray on time and that you have that Salah inshallah and then Zakat fasting, pilgrimage, all of those again as we talked the five pillars that you have that you've studied it as part of your own journey that this is something that you really did formally study and then as you learn you practice what you learn pretty simple but you take yourself seriously and I think this is something I've heard our teachers say which is an important little note to make a little side note but you know we live in a time an era where there's just so much frivolity and everybody's just constantly joking around and entertaining themselves and eating and consuming and finding all of these ways to not take life very seriously you know watching sports all day watching movies all day listening to music browsing, shopping all of these things we do of course we have to live in this dunya but as Muslims we know to do these things in moderation and when you know necessary but that's not why we live we don't live to do those things we live to worship Allah SWT but we see that in the world that we live in there's so much running away from responsibility running away from serious subjects like death nobody wants to talk about death nobody wants to talk about things that are too serious you know because we're also conditioned to think that life is about fun fun fun well it's not it's about taking responsibility for yourself realizing you will be held accountable making sure that you watch what you say how you behave but holding yourself to a really standard than just being silly and trying to have fun all day that's not the purpose of life so you want to practice what you learn you know it's not enough to just learn something absorb it and then repeat it to other people you have to put it into your own practice so very important piece of advice and then when all of these things with regards to those five pillars are are solid and you really are practicing what you what you've learned to go on to other aspects of which are the rules of marriage you know buying and selling and any other sections that would pertain to you specifically you know there's different people in different circumstances but if you need to study certain areas that would be certainly something that you should look into and so that becomes your focus right that you're taking account of what you know what you don't know and you really are trying to better and that's how we should all be every day or every month every week we should look back and feel like we're progressing because we're doing something and that doesn't have to you know be a big monumental change you know we don't big changes are hard to sustain but doing smaller deeds as we know from the hadith is better right than just kind of going becoming very you know super super religious overnight and trying to or ambitious and taking on too much and then you go back to your ways or completely go the opposite direction because you've burnt out so certainly not saying that but you want to just keep yourself always moving forward and feeling like I've been doing better than I was right if you're the same person or relapsing to worse then there's something off and that's what should tell you I need to start doing something differently right and then to more advices about again related to the five pillars commit to studying Arabic so if you're able to again important to know how to read and write Arabic Arabic is a language it's obviously one of the the greatest languages if not the greatest language because it is the language of the book of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala but in terms of study you know many people who are subhanallah not even Muslim will recognize its beauty and its utility so there's so much usefulness studying Arabic if you can some people have an act for languages and it's easier for them other people maybe they're not very that's not easy for them but you can at least learn the basics and the basics in this case which would be the most essential part of learning Arabic is to do it to make sure that at least you know how to recite the book of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and if you want to take that further to the next step and learn grammar and all of that it would be great so then the next advice here we're going back to the slide show is to study at least one sacred text on purification of the heart so there are different texts on feski et al nafs and the one that we may have heard I've certainly referenced it several times because it's very much connected to this text agenda to change our condition is the book that was translated by the use of called which is book on the purification of the heart and did a translation commentary of this book and so I have it actually right in front of me I always have the books that I think are really you know just we should have them in every Muslim home library easy access for me because I do speak often and I like to refer people to them so hopefully you can see this but here it is again again I'm posting this for people who don't are listening for the first time or may not be familiar with this text this is the probably in my estimation anyway because I've seen it the most popular English written for the English audience book on the diseases of the heart and and it's an incredible text I love it I actually have several copies of it I just think that everybody should have this book and you can teach it to children I actually did a children's class on purification of the heart it's available through the MCC website if you go through the playlist you'll see up there it was I think we did it during Ramadan of this past year we did certainly did it this year but I'm not sure I think we did do it yes during the month of Ramadan but check that out for if you have children very important to teach these subjects to your children early on because you know you want to prevent your children from forming habits that are destructive and that's the reality of the human being we're creatures of habit and so once we start doing something over and over and over again especially you know in that those formative years right children before puberty are just kind of you know in their own world but once they come to maturity they do start to solidify the personality their temperament all those things come together and so you want to make sure that they are very aware of the potential you know shortcomings or spiritual pitfalls before them and recognizing the spiritual diseases knowing its signs and symptoms and then of course the cures is very important and critical to help them overcome their nefs because you know Majahid and nefs are the struggle with the self the ego is the lifelong struggle all of us have we all go through this every day every you know our minute of the day we're struggling against our our base carnal desires our you know our irascible self the part of us that is quick to anger that's just you know irrational or you know doesn't isn't thinking about long term you know benefits we have we all have our numbs the ego right thinking about immediate pleasures and it can be very indulgent and selfish that part of us is a barrier between us and Allah SWT so for us parents the best gift we can give our children is the tools that they need to overcome that part of us and the earlier you start the better if you wait for your teenager or child to reach you know mid teens or late teens or early adulthood and they've now have five or six you know years or seven years of bad habits it's harder for them to regulate themselves but if you enter you know introduce these things early then inshallah ta'ala you can really help them to learn to pay attention to their thoughts learn to pay attention to their inclinations their desires learn to self-regulate learn to control those impulses and inshallah ta'ala that will really tremendously pay off for them spiritually speaking as they grow older and so if you have never studied as an adult the diseases of the heart then certainly that's something that you want to look into and say I need to understand what they are what does Islam say about spiritual diseases because you know other traditions they have the same ideas about spiritual diseases but they may vary you know here and there but alhamdulillah our scholars identified 25 26 different main diseases and how they some of them are very subtle and you know unless you really know their definitions you may not know that you have that disease so once you are aware of it then it's like whoa I had no idea I had that disease forgive me but a lot of these things are again all available in this in these texts particular one purification of the heart so I encourage you to get that if you don't have it so do that you know at least once in your lifetime I mean you should in my opinion we should be studying this as often as possible and putting it into practice every day but at least try to get the book and read it through once so that you have some understanding of it inshallah and then in this case or the last advice here a qualified licensed teacher is always recommended but if not available find a study group on humility and the ability to say I do not know when necessary I love this advice because it kind of you know what I was saying earlier about starting you don't it's not required to have a teacher that is more knowledgeable or that has certain licenses in certain areas it's not required of course it's ideal certainly if you can find someone who has that join those groups but if you don't then you should just form that group with your friends or people that you know are committed and just agree to this philosophy that we have humility in this group and we're not trying to prove ourselves to anybody we're here to study together and if we don't know we don't know we can look to getting answers from again those who don't know as the Quran tells us right if you don't know ask those who don't know so this was the first section chapter three practical steps to change our condition the next section so again if you look at what I was saying earlier this is a lot of it's focused on oneself right again we're working a lot on improving ourselves now we look outward so it goes back to that you know inward outward so the this is active outreach first step here and again the advice you have to think about where you are on your journey this may not be right now maybe you just entered Islam and you're like wait a second I've got a lot to do this is all you know it's not necessarily in any particular order it's just giving us advice on how to move forward in our journey so some people they may have worked a lot on those internal you know just working on themselves internally so they're ready now to move forward or move outwardly but if you're not ready don't worry about this but it's still valuable to go over so first point here create an active outreach that program designed to produce results so if you feel like how that you've been practicing the dean consistently five ten years you have a really good rhythm you're really committed but you want to do more you feel there's this calling or something that's compelling you to do more for your community more outreach this is where you start so you may want to look to you know first of all your particular message have a program in place that is focused on outreach in that one and if so you know you can join them sign up as a volunteer and figure out what your part in that group would be are you going to take a lead position or do you just want to be called on for certain events but you kind of have to figure out what is best for you but if you do have that leadership you know impulse and you want to start sort of start things that aren't there then here's advice number two reach out to the non-muslim community through teaching doing community work and feeding others so you can start to you know take your again those those that feeling of wanting to do more beyond just yourself and look to what other community groups are in your particular area and see if there's a way to collaborate with them I know there are a lot of great interfaith groups and churches synagogues temples other groups that do do things together and this is really important I think in this day and age when religion and religious institutions and religious groups are attacked so fervently and you know there's a lot of unfortunately really negative messages that are directed towards religious groups I think it's important that we do band together on those things that we have in common shared values shared principles so obviously feeding people and just doing outreach is really important you know I was very fortunate when I first came into Islam I met some great pioneers in our community here in the Bay Area trailblazing women that I credit to I call them my sheroes but we have people like sister Amina Jandali who started the ING Islamic Networks group and I remember I was you know I believe I was either fresh out of high school or very like first year of college when I became aware of their work and I attended some of their sessions where they would go to churches or schools and speak about Islam and you know I was so impressed by seeing these very strong empowered Muslim women speaking to non-Muslim audiences about Islam but in a very just a beautiful way in a way of you know not their intention was not to convert people it was just to educate and so I was just really impressed by their skills and their knowledge and then a few years later or shortly after I actually ended up working for ING for a while and it was really great to learn you know on just be on the ground and you know as a speaker I spoke with them as well that's kind of where I started a lot of my public speaking but I learned so much not just from them and all of the other great speakers but also the non-Muslims that I had access to going to churches going to police stations going to different you know events that we were invited to high schools colleges it was really great because you just see it increased it increases your faith to do those things because you see this healthy pride you know that you start to have about being a Muslim and just really wanting to share your faith and so interfaith work it's not for everybody but if it's something that does call to you then look into it and see how you can start and I would absolutely say ING is a wonderful resource even if you go to their website ING.org they have so much wonderful content you can reach out to them and tell them if you're interested in learning more about how to get some of their resources and think about even opening I'm actually not sure if they still do that but when I was working with them they had chapters all throughout the country of different affiliates that were working with them so you can see if something is lacking in your community but you want to do it that's certainly an option for you but the point is to feel you know to do it right right to do it right so here point number three is something to talk about point number three and four relates to this so work to allay the fears of the dominant community and show them that we're not a threat to anyone's safety as we know because of Islamophobia it's real there is a very targeted attacks against Muslims and Islam to have that you know mission to say I'm gonna you know just do whatever I can work with my community work within you know my even if it's a school setting like sometimes maybe not connected to their local or the large scale but even working in smaller efforts like you know at your children's school but somehow making that part of your mission which is I'm going to make sure that you know people realize that I as a Muslim bring so much blessing because of my faith to whatever I'm involved in and so this is why it's so important that we work on ourselves because when you're part of a group you're in representing that group you should have the highest standards because not only is your person you know being represented but you're also representing your faith and so it's on doing things right so when there's school meetings or boards or committees if you belong to them doing it just with that intention I'm gonna show up on time I'm not gonna come in late I'm going to let these people know that I'm an asset to this organization and so I'm gonna hold myself to that high standard and inshallah make sure that they realize that I bring so much value and so that's a beautiful intention that we should all have in everything that we do because it's a slam you know just having like I said high a high standard is part of our is a big part of our faith so doing things correctly and in the the next point point number four when we present Islam at the institutional level whether again it's because we're doing interfaith work or just in our own private lives in our schools in our neighborhoods in our work that we do it with the aim of educating and informing not trying to convert people right because our faith is not one of you know where we go and prostilize or try to convert you know outwardly we invite people to see the beauty of Islam through our inshallah good character our care and concern our desire for the common will and really wanting to benefit people that they want to know more about our faith because we're representing it beautifully so that those are the intentions when we talk about outreach interfaith work any type of contribution you're making to your community that you do it with that intention and then back to a more intimate you know intention again in our personal lives we should be proud of being Muslim and we should be open to discuss and share our faith with others you know for example you know when you're I know many people have over the years and I have worked with non-Muslims I've worked in corporate settings so I know that things have drastically changed first of all like when I was you know much younger there weren't a lot of representatives or you know like mohajibah for example in my community it's grown exponentially since then but it was hard to be mohajibah when very few people knew what that was or what that meant and of course you know prejudice was real all those things were very real I experienced it so I know and I know others who have experienced it so it was hard to sometimes have open dialogue about religion and we know also in this society there's certain taboo topics right so and I would say it's still in place with certain things but you know you don't openly talk about politics or or religion and certain things that are very private affairs people tended to not really be receptive to those discussions but we've changed you know the society has shifted so much now that people are very open about their lifestyle choices they're very proud identity politics is real everybody's out and showing up with their symbols you know whatever those symbols are they're very proud of who they are and so we as Muslims I mean we didn't have to wait for all of this to happen we should have always had that you know sense of honor in our faith and alhamdulillah feeling like we do want to share it with other people but even more so now that all of those barriers societal barriers and norms have moved away and we can openly discuss things then why not why not talk about you know for example if you're fasting during Ramadan instead of shying away from telling your co-workers because you don't want to make them uncomfortable oh you know I've heard a lot of things over the years where people are you know just trying to navigate these things and they don't know how but it's a lot of it is you know I don't want to bother people I don't want to impose I don't want to impose well you're not imposing if you just tell your co-workers oh I can't attend the company lunch or dinner because I'm fasting and I need to break my fast that's not in position that way I think we need to reframe the conversation honest and truthful and you're being open and proud of who you are but also if you need to pray you know how many people don't pray in their workplaces because of fear that they're going to be misjudged and you know there might be consequences oh I you know might affect my relationship with my boss or my co-workers you know if I have to keep taking breaks I don't want them to think I'm slacking off I have heard every excuse that people have but fundamentally it comes down to you know you're not praying because maybe there is a hesitancy to share aspects of your faith with people you want to address that and figure out you know what is it is it really you know is there a shyness there that I need to work out and actually if you study the purification of the heart you'll find that one of the diseases of the heart is what we call blame worthy modesty where there is a sense of feeling embarrassed in certain circumstances when you shouldn't and you become shy or you know it can manifest in different ways but there is a bit of cowardice and it's considered a disease of the heart so if that's the case you want to have honest conversations with yourself and then say well you know if I change that if I start to be more proud of my identity as a Muslim you know you wear hijab or you have a beard you wear a kufi their brothers masha'Allah who represent who are out there very proud of their identity so they're outwardly clearly Muslim but then also they're happy to tell people oh I don't drink alcohol yeah we don't we don't shy away from topics like that and then if you do that guess what your children will also learn from you so that when they're in high school and it's prom or some other social event and someone asks them why they can't attend or can you come to this party it's a mixed party they can be very strong to say yeah I don't do parties I don't date I don't do those things I'm a Muslim and there's no conversation beyond that that has to be had you know they don't cower when those conversations come up so it's so important that we have that understanding of real just pride in who we are not pride in the sense of we think we're better out of another people but that we are very honored you know right it's the dot that we should say every day thank God for the blessing of Islam that we're so honored to share our faith with people and to talk about things openly Ramadan Hajj you know not to minimize conversations I've been in those situations where I can see the discomfort that some Muslims have around non-Muslims when talking about faith and it's sad because you know they shut down the conversation sometimes oh let's not talk about that it's okay don't worry about it and it's like no maybe that person genuinely wants to know but you've assumed or you've projected your discomfort onto them and then the whole conversation is gone and that person could have maybe benefited maybe they would have you know learned more and and been interested more or they would have helped to counter all of these lies against Islam and Muslims because you gave them the knowledge to do so so the point is is in our own personal lives let's have let's show up more be more courageous to talk about things of course with decorum with proper understanding time and place for everything you know you don't want to take over a board meeting or an important staff meeting just to do that one that's not what we're talking about but it's more not shying away from those conversations for any reason but being proud of your Muslim identity and then you know the sixth point here which is also really important is that we should try to be collaborative people you know instead of just starting something on our own just because we like control you know we just want to do things our way it might cause further problems and how many you know communities have suffered in that way because there were people who may have had initiative but they didn't have that that foresight to see hey you branching off and doing something on your own may actually affect you know an existing group or an existing organization or something that's doing that work already how about reaching out to them first and seeing if there's an opportunity to collaborate and being that's the spirit with which we should do things you know it's not about me and then I think we have to get away from centering individuals in these types of efforts you know it's not about the individual the greater good and the case of starting up an initiative whatever that may be if you think it's something you want to do always look to see what's already you know in existence in your particular area and see if you can work with them first so this is again great summary great guidance on how to actively do outreach in the best way with Hikma and with real you know just an order or an organized way of doing things now in the time that we have I'll try to do the last one here that I had prepared because I only I knew we weren't going to get through all of them so we'll do this one focus so now it's bringing it back to you know it's kind of bringing it back to oneself but also focusing on the work that we're doing but just giving us guidance on how to focus our intentions here so the first point and it's an extension of the previous slide but it's it's a let's look at it so find an area of concern that instills a passionate response and begin to work to alleviate the respective obstacles to produce change in that area so there's a lot of people and I would say maybe you know new Muslims may feel this a lot or just parents who are looking to get their kids involved you know I work a lot with parents and families so I know sometimes around those teen years parents are like oh gosh I don't want my kids to get caught up in all those terrible you know things that behaviors that a lot of teens can get risky behaviors that teens can get caught up and so I want to preoccupy them I want to get them involved in the masjid I want them to start volunteering do you know any things that they could do well whether you're doing it for that for your own self there are people who've retired and they may want to you know use their time they've worked they're now in those you know comfortable years of life where they have ample time and so they want to start to do more outreach or do something with their time so this is really good guidance for all of those different you know people or if you're a young professional there's some people who are students college students or you know even high school students who are working towards building their experience you know their their CV and they want more experience so whatever your ania is and whatever phase you are in life you want to make sure that there is whatever you get involved in it's passionate to you you know and there's some people who are very politically active so they an organization like care may be right up their alley because they're politically activated they as soon as something comes up about politics that you know they perk up other people are more oriented around relief work so if you find yourself wanting to do you know local relief work soup kitchens you know all those things you know pantries helping build rentries and feeding you know working with immigrant communities within your community to try to help new immigrants or the things that are relief oriented how did it there's a lot of potential there some people love education you know so if there's a way to teach and to go out into offer people you know workshops and different you know ways of teaching them something you can do something orphan relief you know there's so many different organizations but you want that the where you give your time to which whatever organization or group it really does come from the heart and it's something that you're very passionate about and then figure out again what you can offer in terms of time resources money guidance knowledge whatever you have inshallah those organizations will benefit from but pace yourself don't don't again go overboard always be aware of that there's a lot of people who post to do too much too fast too soon because a lot of times those are from from shaitan he knows that it's like a pendulum you know push push us into something really fast then it'll overwhelm us and then we just back away and you see people do that you know they'll just want to do it all and then also they disappear so this is where being aware of yourself is important recognize the power the wonderful organizations that we have even the masajid alhamdulillah in our community often times if you go back and you read the history of that organization it's usually one or two people who were grassroots bare bones had nothing very limited resources but had so much high him right had a lot of ambition and Allah subhan Allah gave them to feel and now they're you know have multimillion dollar organizations or groups or businesses or whatever but the point is they started with that strong intention and with that trust Allah subhan Allah and so never let shaitan take that away from you and make you think oh I can't do anything because there's a lot of people who have great ideas but they don't really go far with it because they let these thoughts of it's not going to happen deter them you know but there is immense power in one and of course Allah subhan Allah is proof of that right he is one so that and it's mentioned here in the book as well about focusing on that they said let me try to find that section we should remember that the greatest oh wait sorry that's not the right section it is Allah's number and everything good in this world of human endeavors was initially one individual's intention action and vision when there is commitment with sincerity creation moves to serve the purpose and we must keep in mind that actions are judged by intentions right in them and I haven't been yet so very important to remember that also we must work on changing ourselves so now look the advice even subhan Allah within the advice is bringing it back to ourselves you can do all this outreach do all this focus try to find every cause or any you know a cause that speaks to your heart and have high ambition but you have to commit to changing yourself first you know if you're trying to go out there and make the world a better place but internally you haven't done the work at all or aren't really doing the work regularly then you know you don't really have a lot of weight in your words right or as they phrased it little moral authority in demanding of others what we ourselves fail to practice we if you don't have those changes that you're speaking about you're trying to go out there and you know inspire other people with if you're not even doing those things and you have no authority to speak so focus on improving oneself committing to making those lasting changes constantly this internal and external you know dialogue it's always about what do I need to improve what can I do to improve the world but make sure that they are always at play and you don't leave one the other then the greatest struggle is speaking the truth in the presence of unjust authority we know that this is a you know it's very difficult most people struggle with this all people I would say struggle with this but I love how they took a different direction using this very commonly understood idea right that it's it's one of the greatest things to do is to speak to someone who's unjust but here what do they say this includes unjust authority at our own lower self when it disobeys Allah subhanAllah so when you're enough takes over you and prevents you from obeying Allah subhanAllah it is an unjust authority and so you have to speak against yourself see so actually being able to admit that you make mistakes and that you do wrong and you don't have to go out and scream it at the mountaintops you know on the mountaintops or confess your sins to other people but when you look at yourself in the mirror or when you're sitting there on the prayer rug hopefully with your head you know a hung low and humility that you recognize with internal shame before Allah subhanAllah where you've gone wrong and you are willing to rebuke yourself to really take ownership of those things and then the last point they made here is that the internal struggle or greater jihad is really purifying ourselves so constantly reminding ourselves that that is life long we need to be doing this we're never going to get to a place where you know we're done with mojahed enough it is an everyday process and that's why we have to revisit toil away work hard and it's so important to have these continuous conversations and ajama that we can work with so wow we are almost at the end of the hour here mashaAllah so let me stop share and I will go ahead and open up the facebook page here I don't know why I closed it sorry and I'll see if there's any questions but inshaAllah again for those of you who are joining us thank you this is we're still in the early part of chapter 3 there's a lot more sections to go so when we resume inshaAllah after this break and in the new year we will pick up with chapter 3 from where we left off so let me just quickly see if there are any questions oh I realized I forgot to share the this on my page today I'll share it afterwards but bear with me while I open up this page and then in the meantime I can also go to YouTube so I hope you enjoyed today's session inshaAllah and let people know if you have any non-muslims who are looking for a group I hope inshaAllah that they can benefit so please feel free to share with them sorry let me so I see some questions here I need help learning the rules of marriage mashaAllah so there are classes on fiqh classes I think I would certainly look at groups the rahmah foundation because they offer regular classes for women on a variety of different topics and fiqh is absolutely included in that so I can post their name for you inshaAllah it's called the rahmah foundation they are here in the Bay Area but they have online programs that anybody can join so inshaAllah you can benefit from them sorry I'm at the MCC page looking for the live video but I don't see it I don't know if it was posted this talk I hope it was but I don't see it on youtube hmm that's odd it's usually here yeah I don't see the live feed on youtube so brother salman if you are listening I don't know if you're there is it available on youtube today because I don't see a link for it I don't know if brother salman is there okay well if you're on youtube I am sorry I cannot find the link on youtube it's not up or I don't see it so I apologize if you are there and I don't see your question but inshaAllah may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reward you and thank you for being here you can always send in your questions if they're urgent or you have any you would like if there's a specific thing that you need just let me know you can check with MCC's info I think email and inshaAllah they'll get it to me but for facebook I only saw that one question so I don't see anything else but I do thank all of you at MCC Sunday evening it's 9 o'clock so inshaAllah we will end in dua and I look forward to seeing you guys next year after the new year inshaAllah in health optimum health the best of health I hope all of you are stay safe stay safe you're you and your families inshaAllah and that we resume inshaAllah in a better condition I'm sorry one second I'm sorry give me one second now I feel bad because I just got a message from brother salman brother salman I saw your whatsapp but where's the youtube link because I don't see the youtube link but are there any questions no questions ok ok he said there's no questions thank you brother salman we'll go ahead and end in dua inshaAllah we'll see you guys next year I know that sounds like it's a long way off but it's only a little over a week so may Allah protect all of you and your families and your loved ones and I hope you'll be safe stay safe and take care stay safe stay safe thank you so much everyone inshaAllah again we'll see you guys next year I know that sounds like it's a long way off but it's only a little over a week so may Allah protect all of you and your families and your loved ones inshaAllah have a wonderful remainder of your year and we'll see you inshaAllah soon for those of you who are joining we are covering a very important text called agenda to change our condition which I have right here in front of me and what I'm going to do inshaAllah is screen share because we're going through some slides that I've created so let me go ahead and share my screen if you just give me one moment alright so as I'm just going to do a quick summary because some may be joining again and I want to bring them up to speed so we're on we're in this we're reading this text together called agenda to change our condition by Sheikh Hamza Yusuf we're on chapter three which is titled practical steps to change our condition and we've covered so far let's see here we have the five pillars active outreach and focus that's what we and I'll go back to the slides here so we covered these three slides last time so it was about two weeks before right when we met so we have these three that we went through for today we're going to continue with chapter three and actually let me go back to this slide in this chapter this is all as you know there's several sections in this chapter and so these are all the different sections so that's where we cover the five pillars active outreach and focus and so now we're going to inshaAllah do the next four sections here and we'll talk in depth so go ahead and read from or get to that slide so the slide for today we're going to do is cooperation so this is for those who do have the book it's on page 29 so if we read this particular section of the chapter it talks about the and I'll just go ahead and read this religion is based on recognizing the abilities of the believers that constitute the umma the Muslim community and facilitating the use of their respective gifts we need to understand that if one person focuses upon an area that differs from our own area of concern he or she is complimenting our own work and not detracting from it by not joining us so this is again practical steps to how and how we can change our condition right so we need to understand the importance of working together with our fellow community members the people around us so that we have mutual goals and we don't see one another as in any way a threat or a competition but rather we see that we all have the same basic desire which is inshallah to do the work the good works that will please Allah and that can be in many different forms there's people who are very politically activated there's other people who do relief work there's other people who enjoy teaching and grassroots work working within the community so everybody has their own niche or their own calling and we should respect that and also see that inshallah we're all part of a larger body the ummah and we have to respect one another and so this chapter or this section is really about cultivating that and so again if you continue point three here to not see individuals or organized groups as competitors or antagonists but rather again as brothers and sisters it goes the same purpose and really they go into a lot of detail about just the importance of the inculcating that love for one another you know through the all of the sunnah that we're taught you know we smile smiling is a sadafa so when we see one another whether it's in the masjid or at events or just you know in the grocery store when we know that people are working for the cause of Allah that we wish them well success but that we're genuine in our love for them and that we really are about seeing one another as part of again one body that ummah and there's so many hadith that reinforce that idea to always write that the ummah is one body if one part of the body hurts the entire body hurts all these had either to remind us to really see one another as being part of something great and not to in any way let those divisive feelings enter our hearts where we start to compete or maybe even do worse than that right to to deter people or to ruin or somehow affect the progress of other people's works there's you know people protect us from those diseases of the heart that would lead to that but there are some people who you know may sabotage another person's efforts just because they don't see them as as their brother or sister but rather as a competitor so really trying to rid your yourself from that and they go on to say so there are many paths to Allah and he guides those who struggle with themselves for his sake alone we should not see other Muslims either individuals or organized groups as competitors or antagonists rather we should see them as brothers and sisters and either work with them or work separately with amicable relations the least of which is giving them the greeting of peace with a smile right our communities suffer from an unhealthy competition viewing another's failure as our own success we should all hope and pray for the success of any activity that is good in nature and beneficial to the aims and purposes of sacred law so for example competing massages or you know organizations or even businesses you know somehow like you have you know a restaurant business that you don't see another Muslim who has a similar business or restaurant down the street or in another part of the city as being your competitor but rather as another believer who inshallah is providing you know the community members with halal risk and is inshallah you know putting halal income back into the community so you always see the fruits that these fruits will reach everybody instead of just looking at your own personal maybe you know your own personal issues that you may have those we have to work out right so really getting rid of those feelings in the heart and then they go on to say Islamic work through diverse organizations should never be the basis for negating the bonds of brotherhood and sisterhood established between us by Islam when that happens we are no longer doing Islamic work but are engaged in politics so you know really may Allah protect us again from fitna from in any way being a part of fitna because we may be part of you know some organization or a masjid or other you know school or something else but if we allow politics to enter you know the community and to cause divisions and you know parties and a lot of breaking up then obviously we're not doing much you know to please Allah we may in fact be held accountable for our part in all of that so we should really seek refuge from that we should speak well of other organizations or be silent about them you know instead of trying to take down or discredit or you know just cast a negative you know opinion or perpetuate maybe gossip never do that right just with with anybody let alone an entire organization right once we recognize that most of them are engaged in a different aspect of the same struggle we come to respect their efforts now there does you know there's some space here for thinking if you feel that an organization or an individual may be Allah doing something wrong of course that's a different situation right so if some appear to be or actually are misguided then we should offer counsel and pray to them if they have deviant positions or beliefs then we should request that qualified scholars clarify with clear proofs what those deviations are in doing so such a scholar must not use personal opinions but rather those of the rightly guided scholars of our tradition who are recognized by the scholars of the past so when there are again those people who may be doing something questionable you want to always have casting people out or what now is very popular which is cancel culture is it's really tragic because you see communities being really affected by that and I personally spoken with community members who have a hard time with their faith when they see fitna or people being canceled or entire organizations almost being shut down because of some scandal or what have you and most of the time it's because you know the approach to these situations is off we should try to always seek to fix the situation with good intentions not just to want to see something go down just because we're unhappy or upset or angry about it but rather thinking of the collective benefit or the collective harm and that's where we make our decision so if there's going to be a collective harm then of course we should be very careful make sure that we approach the individual or the organization with discretion request meetings privately try to approach them that way first and then however the consensus is to proceed at least doing it that way inshallah the consciences are clear and we can avoid some really horrible things from happening so just to make sure that we know that there's protocol and that protocol we should follow that always with the best of intentions inshallah rare opinions of one or two scholars that stand in disagreement with the majority of scholars on a given issue must not be used at the cost of unity through diversity though the opinions may be valid if it turns out there is a difference of opinion among our scholars regarding the issue then we should leave it for the sake of unity not argue or fight over it however if it is indeed wrong by consensus then we can bring it to their attention wisely and with a sincere desire to help them so you can see the intention and the council here is to always seek to do things without causing bigger problems right to have the most minimal effect you know that you can possibly have give the council try to of course you know make sure that the right opinion is issued and is understood but not to argue not to fight and not to let it you know have ripple effects that affect the entire community we ought to keep in mind that Musa alaih salam was commanded to go to Firaoun and speak to him with a gentle word which is of course chapter 20 verse 44 and this is advice for all of us really because giving advice is something that not everybody can do it really isn't we should learn how to I should say you know just because you want to correct someone doesn't mean you're the right person to do it because if you don't have the gentle or right approach it could actually cause a further a bigger problem so you want to make sure that you're somewhat aware of the art of giving to see how how does one do that being gentle again not having not being accusatory right off the bat you want to approach it very just in doses and steps and make sure that you're aware of how to do that in the best way possible and so this reminder is good for all of us just in general but especially those in the community who may be charged with this responsibility to correct another individual a public figure a teacher someone in the public eye or an organization on an issue that's controversial that person should absolutely know what approach it and here's the advice right to be gentle but of course firm and try to not cause further problems and then they go on to say that remembering that we are not more righteous than most of the salam and that our brother or sister is certainly not farther astray than found we can approach the matter with gentle humility and a genuine desire for the well-being and guidance for all and that again is the mutual benefit right the collective benefit inshallah for everyone we have an example of this gentle approach when Imam Ali sent Ibn Abbas to reason with the seceders Ibn Abbas succeeded in guiding thousands of them by providing clear proofs this mass repentance lessened the severity and length of the complagration when the two forces met on the battlefield such as to you know from history we cannot view other Muslims as objects of hatred no matter who they may be if they are Muslims they have the sanctity of Islam and their name is to be honored unless a situation obliges us to condemn an act or position that is in contra distinction to the sacred law and tenets of universal Islam as opposed to sectarian views of Islam and then moreover we should not listen to or partake in backbiting Muslims or people of other faiths and I think this is also a very important council that you know backbiting or any negative quality lying in and of itself they are blame worthy they are wrong, they are haram it is not a matter of the object sometimes people think oh well if it is non-muslim why does it matter or they are kafat or they are this you are reflecting the disease within yourself and the target of it is irrelevant at that point the fact that you do it, the fact that you backbite the fact that you lie is the problem it is not who you are lying about and so this distinction that we should not harbor negative feelings towards Muslims but also we should not allow these habits to extend to people of other faiths is very important it is just wrong in and of itself if it is necessary to point out deviations to clarify them we should do as the messenger of Allah did on occasion he declared what is wrong with the people who do such and such so when the Prophet said he would want to correct something or someone's behavior he would never out them he would never mention their name in public in any way embarrass them or humiliate them he would always focus on the issue and so this is a very wise way of addressing the problem without speaking directly to the individual so that is certainly acceptable and of course we should be tactful and mindful of how the phrasing and the words we use you want to make sure like our teachers would remind us not to use identifiable or identifying language if you are speaking about a specific situation or incident or organization you don't want to in any way reference things or give clues that would lead people to know who you are speaking about or which organization you are speaking about so you got to be tactful and very general in your delivery so that people can't draw their own conclusions because otherwise you are just contributing to further maybe suspicion and unwarranted suspicion or gossip and those things so you want to just keep it to the issue itself we should also be vigilant in avoiding stale and sterile debates that have persisted for centuries and produced little benefit and much harm really argumentation is there's plenty of hadith and proofs against arguing it's really blame worthy it's something we should avoid at all costs healthy, productive discussions are different than argumentation in addition we should avoid labeling people or groups such as Salafi Sufi, Wahabi for example as these in gender animosity name calling is condemned in the Quran if the intention is contempt so if you are referring to a group of people in your delivery it's clear that you don't like them this would fall under this and may Allah forgive us because sometimes again we think we are in the right sometimes you see something that maybe deviant or you just don't agree with and you feel justified why do they do this to anybody who's been to the sacred lands for example you may have seen things or heard things that really bother you or trouble you but if you are using those labels again in this way this is what they're speaking about that we have to be careful from that if the intention is to elucidate a position that we must examine our intention and also our level of understanding most of us are not capable of debating with any legitimate authority whatsoever and he said disputation is detestable for scholars and those close to Allah so what is to be said of the argumentation of the uneducated and foolish consider the words of Allah to his prophet so Allah said to him we said debate with them with what is most excellent this is in chapter 16 verse 125 so this is all still we're still talking about cooperation they've given Mashallah more than two pages almost three pages to this section and it's because there's so much fitnah that we already see in our community but also to hold ourselves accountable so that we're not in any way participating or condoning or blind to what is behavior that would be blamed more than on us so all of this is really important to consider then they go on to say that thus Allah did not permit the prophet's life to them to dispute without stipulating that it be with kindness in a beautiful manner over Allah describes the prophet's life to them as being a vast ethical character and disparages argumentation in his words this is chapter 43 verse 58 they did not say it except to argue and in another verse Allah says from among humanity are those who argue about Allah without knowledge or guidance or an illuminating book that's chapter 22 verse 8 and then always they say advice of Allah if you find those who ignorantly discuss our signs then turn away from them that's chapter 668 verse 68 and Imam Manik said he said disputation is not from our religion so this all of these verses all of these proofs all of these quotes are to reiterate the point of not falling into disputation argumentation especially when you don't have the knowledge and you're not in the position of authority to do that may Allah forgive all of us and you see this a lot now maybe not so in the masjid or in the community per se but a lot of it is online you can go to anybody's any of our scholars pages online and you'll see trolls people who are that's all they do they just go around picking arguing they've lost adab they may even address the scholar it's really lacking basic adab because they think that they have a position that's superior or better or they found some mistake the scholar made and they're ready to just cancel the scholar you see this all the time online it's very very toxic behavior and this is demonic behavior it's not part of our tradition so may Allah protect us from that behavior and when we see it we should certainly not encourage it you know you see some people liking these comments it's just vitriol it's just pure poison and you'll see a bunch of likes and you're just like subhan Allah so the one who's doing it at least they were able to speak up and say whatever they wanted to say even if they were wrong but the cowards who don't say anything but then fan the flames by liking and forwarding and sharing and spreading the fitna those are also we have to you know because that's the it's just as worse that just potentially even worse because you're spreading this right so all of this is on the section on cooperation now we go into the next slide here which is on good character and this is just a shorter section but of course reminder for us all right we must inculcate good character in our daily lives and always display courteous behavior with Muslims and non-Muslims alike this is again reinforcing what was previously said about just being a good person and not falling into bad character flaws with anybody Muslim or non-Muslim doesn't matter we should rid ourselves of those character flaws and really display the best character inshallah the most effective outreach is good character this is if we want to do effective dawah to our family members you know there's people who have non-Muslim family or secular family people who are just not practicing you know giving them lectures is not really effective you know you can guilt I've seen it unfold in front of me but I've also seen people really get worked up because you know so-and-so doesn't pray or they're not fasting and I get so mad I can't help myself and they get really worked up because they feel so justified to correct our family member when they're you know when they're heedless or they're disobeying Allah but we have to be very careful from that because everybody's at different levels and there's also this is where going back to the point I made earlier about nasiha not everybody is able to give nasiha because it takes patience it takes understanding it takes emotional intelligence to know where people are at are they emotionally stable are they even listening are they receptive are they having a faith crisis you know there's something going on if you're not aware of that and you're just you know caught up in your own self-righteous indignation and anger and frustration then you may very well push them further away from Islam instead of you know what you may think is this tough love approach so within our family when it comes to Muslims who may be not practicing we want to be very careful and then of course outside of that our neighbors our co-workers the people that we meet in this markets or wherever we go we want to remember that the best dawah is not you know we're not people that you know go and force our faith on people we don't prostrate everywhere we go we're not preachers we invite people right we invite people with good character we're kind or patient or gracious we are you know generous we're hospitable we have all those inshallah qualities we try to inculcate them in ourselves and we display them so that when people meet Muslims they are impressed and then they may inquire like oh wow you know or they're just curious like why are all of these people so kind or why do they treat their elders with so much you know respect or their children or all the beautiful things that we learn from the Prophet so I said this will hopefully make them want to learn and that's how we can do effective dawah and then they go on to say that with good character people achieve levels of proximity to Allah but even those who are persistent in praying and fasting have a hard time reaching Subhanallah that's really you know just a powerful reminder for all of us that the ritual acts of course they're far they're important we have to do them but they are many times you know they're self-serving they're more fulfilling our obligations to Allah and they benefit us but when you you know suppress your or when you're patient with people who are difficult or you're displaying these beautiful character qualities that may require restraint that is harder often times to do right it's a sacrifice you're actually it's more of a Mujahidah so people who have really great characters MashaAllah they've gone through they're disciplined people and they often times do suppress themselves for the sake of you know the good the sake of the other and that is why there's so much immense reward in that so that's the point here is that you could really advance in your relationship with Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala by having really beautiful character because the Mujahidah is so sincere and it's really truly difficult whereas some people pray in fast but they don't work on their character and they don't really excel they don't get as ahead because they may be impatient or rude or just you know we've all I'm sure had incidences with people who outwardly look practicing but they just didn't really leave us feeling good you know and that's that should be a sign when you're with a believer someone truly sincere you should feel good in their presence you should feel positive you should feel their light you should feel love genuine sincerity we have the love all those beautiful qualities but if they constrict you and they make you feel bad they chastise you admonish you or they speak ill or other things even if they outwardly look the part then clearly there's a problem there right so good character is very very important this is the most important thing that we should be working on every single day to achieve so then he goes I'm sorry then they go on to the next section so good character again very short section this is on page 31 now for those who are following along with the text the next section is on kinship so we should strive to maintain excellent kinship bonds and forgive the shortcomings of our relatives for the sake of Allah and hope that he may forgive our shortcomings the sacred bonds of blood must never be severed one of the greatest of the major sins is filial impiety which is prevalent in modern society so we know what filial piety is right that's good serving our parents well this is the opposite right relationships are a trial from Allah and the Quran reminds us we have made some attribulation for others will you show patience this is chapter 25 verse 20 and they say family is difficult subhanAllah right family is difficult but the rewards of kindness toward family are immeasurable in this world and only realized in the next moreover the least harm that is accrued from severing kinship bonds is a life of pinery so you know the fact that and I guess because in my work I deal with this quite a lot actually you know people have complex relationships with either their parents or their siblings or you know mother in law father in law or someone in the family and a lot of times they feel that the only thing to do is just cut that person out of their life and you know they don't have time for them and there's a lot of just intense emotions and you know they want to they're protecting their own interests and so it just seems like the easier route to take right to just say I'm done I'm not going to care anymore I'm cutting this person out and that's it we'll remind it over and over again that you know cutting ties is one of the combat is actually considered you know a grave sin and so we really an enormity we really want to ask Allah to protect us from that but also to just remember that you know the Prophet told us in a Sahih hadith and this is related in the Muslim that the believer who mixes with the people and endures their harm has a greater reward than the one who does not mix with the people nor endures their harm so this is a really powerful reminder for us that you know in some cases the family member who gets on your nerves who maybe asks too many questions who's you know just you know prying and always you know into your business and orgies don't really like to be around so much not coming around causing you know problems with the family because you just can't handle that person you don't like that person is actually you know less there's it's you're not getting it you're losing out on so much reward here the hadith is clear if you go and you sacrifice your comfort for an hour half an hour however long it is just for the sake of your parents let's say it's an uncle or an aunt or someone that is close to them but maybe you have no connection to and you're there and you're just going to take a little bit of that discomfort for the sake of your parents just imagine the immense reward in doing that right first of all you're pleasing your parents but then on top of that as this hadith reminds us that you're enduring that hardship and so the process is promising that the reward is greater right so remember that if you have to be around people that are challenging to be around instead of just wanting to take the easier route because you know again it's very in this society if you look at the you know the breakdown of the family bonds it's just everywhere you know people don't talk to family members for decades sometimes or they've lost touch with aunt's uncle's grandparents and they don't really think twice about it but then you know you'll know the value of your family over other friendships or other relationships that may come and go even marriages are not sometimes they don't last right we know that divorce divorces are very common so you know sometimes people think that giving up their family is worth whatever they're going to get you know peace of mind or because of this relationship I want I need to you know give up my family but the reality is is those relationships are oftentimes conditional and you know they may not may or may not last whereas with family in many cultures traditional cultures anyway there is this unspoken sort of understanding that even if you don't agree even if you have very very different lifestyles and just beliefs or you know you just don't see eye to eye on a lot of things the bond of family keeps you together and so you'll be able to call on your family when God forbid you're you know facing some hardship maybe you have a debt or a health problem that you didn't know about and all of a sudden you're in need you know how many people have had their lives saved because of a family member who stepped in not because of that friend or that roommate or that coworker that you maybe yes enjoy a rapport with and you get along with and you you know everything is fine but again when the going gets tough that's when you really know right who's there for you and who's not and often times it is your family so we have to really appreciate appreciate our families and not take them for granted and so this is the reminder and I apologize I just realized there's a little typo here on this slide it should be kinship bonds I don't know what happened here I was like clearly missed that but so that's the this is the slide on kinship and then right after this particular section is it follows up you know kinship of course has to do with extended family members but now we get bring it a little bit more closer with regards to the actual family right and so the next section is called families so here they mention that we're obliged by sacred law to treat our families and especially our spouses with the utmost respect and dignity the Prophet said the best of you are those who are the best to their families a man is judged in this religion by the honor and love he shows his wife and children wives should treat their husbands with respect and flexibility for most women the spiritual struggle of this life is within the confines of home and family according to the tradition to bear this with patience and righteousness is to obtain the reward of a warrior for the sake of Allah no room whatsoever exists in the Islamic tradition for domestic abuse or violence a home is a sanctuary and if the wife and children do not feel safe it is not a Muslim home but a jahili house and jahili means ignorant violence toward family is clearly prescribed prescribed in the sacred law and the blight of domestic violence must be uprooted from our communities this is a really important section also to think about because you know there's so many homes where there's immense strife and conflict and you wouldn't know it because we've gotten to a point where people are very consumed with their image right so social media of course adds to that but even prior to social media reputation right you want to have a good standing with your community members you know I'm an upright citizen I go to the masjid I do this I do that I volunteer at my child's school so you have parents who are very concerned or very good about keeping those appearances and making sure that they look put together and everything's fine they'll show up at weddings and events and parties and other things and you would never know that behind closed doors is a completely different reality and this of course is troubling just hearing something like that should trouble anybody but also for the people who are living that lie you want to think about your standing with Allah you know that if everybody in the community sees you with respect and they come to you and maybe they ask you for advice maybe you have that position right of status and importance and people turn to you and so you are feeling the benefit of all of that but then in your home you are a different person you know you are a tyrant or you're abusive and you use foul language and you curse and you you know just threaten and you withhold and you're very harmful you're not going to weaponize your words your actions are harmful then where do you think your reality is is it because the people all praise you and you have their esteem is that who you really are or is it that your spouse may be displeased with you may not may have issues with you your children may be afraid of you think about that think of what your family feels about you how they would describe you is really I think a good indicator for all of us to evaluate where we are with Allah like if you're inshallah your family members of course are upright and good but if someone were to ask them what do you think about this person are they kind are they compassionate are they patient are they you know do they care are they genuine are they sincere all those beautiful qualities that we readily display to strangers you know subhan Allah some people it's like a switch they can go outside their house and their neighbor they can be so kind and just engaging and really chatted up and generous and willing to help their neighbors or willing to help their family members I've worked with many couples where this has actually been really big complaint in the marriage that other people my spouse is so gracious is so kind and everybody thinks that he or she is just an angel you know has the best character and they all sing his or her praises all day long but in the house it's a different story and I always you know that's to me very it's just subhan Allah we should all really wake up to that to the fact that what what does it matter we are good actors you know what does it matter how does that say anything about who we are if we've managed to impress everybody outside our home or at work or in the community to assume that we are upright and kind and this and that if to the people closest to us we are the complete opposite and this is actually a reality that's why we have you know domestic violence is a very common problem unfortunately in our society and certainly in our community we have shelters we have and it works both ways I actually know of you know males who have been abused or have been in situations that are incredibly toxic and they have had they've been threatened and they've had their rights taken or you know those things have been threatened against them so they've been forced in really difficult circumstances forced to accept conditions that they wouldn't normally accept because of a threat that was a real threat to them their finances their their standing you know stuff for a while there's a lot of very addictive behavior that can happen in marriages sometimes and or in divorce situations and we have to really all the ask a lot to protect us from falling into that type of a delusional state where we you know think we can get away with it these things you know within our because nobody knows about it right and and then go outside and present ourselves as something else now Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sees everything and we should fear Allah in that you know every injustice every harm a harmful word every harmful action is accounted for and he you know will certainly take us to task over those things so not to get too comfortable especially for anybody in a marital situation who has more power you know we really want to think about what that means because it's not just about physical power anymore a financial power is also very big you know that this is probably more of an issue in many marriages that the one who has more financial power tends to wield that power and they can sometimes unjust because of it right so you want to be really aware of these things that how your spouse your children see you is really telling about who you really are and if you feel that there's been complaints you want to work on those complaints because like I said if social media you have a great following and you're getting all this praise or in the community like I said people are just always turning to you and they feel like you're just the greatest thing ever but in your home that's not consistent then none of that is relevant because they don't have rights over you right community members and strangers but your family your spouse your children they absolutely have rights so those are the people that you want to prioritize and make sure you're impressing them and that your the best of you is to them and this is why the processor tells us right here the best of you are those who are the best of their families he didn't say the best of you are those who are the best in their communities or have the most friends or have the most titles and get the most praise that's not what the hadith says right and so really important to hold ourselves accountable inshallah and then this last comment about domestic abuse violence you know inshallah I've worked with so many couples and sisters over the years it's certainly I agree 100% with the wording here it's a blight in our community in our world and we have to do everything we can to remove it so one of the advice or something from my experience I'll just share is making sure that if we know that someone is in a situation where we think that they are either being emotionally verbally or God forbid physically abused that we don't give them that advice of oh just be patient it's okay be patient where we don't take their pain seriously or maybe we are so uncomfortable with the situation somebody may turn to us with their deep secret and we just are really uncomfortable knowing that information and so we take that quick exit out of the conversation and say hey you know it's okay he'll change or maybe she'll do this and you just kind of give some you know general advice because you want to move along from the topic you're not thinking about the persons well being or their safety or what if you know there's children involved in your own safety or excuse me your own comfort and this is wrong that's not Islam if someone confides in you you should really help them to get help you may not be the right person you shouldn't feel obligated to counsel them and check on them and do that because that's not for everybody to do but the very least you can do is one of them to turn to the professionals inshallah in the community or the services that are provided in the community where they can figure out what their options are it doesn't mean that you're pushing them into divorce and the family is going to fall apart and now you're going to bear the brunt of all that that's I think the line of thinking that a lot of people think oh I don't want to be a part of that I'm just going to stay out of it because I don't want that on my head I don't want to be the right person the poor kids and everybody kind of takes the story to that extreme and so they recuse themselves completely and want nothing to do with it but then they leave that poor brother or sister or you know situation they leave it they just completely leave it and wash their hands clean of it and then subhanAllah there's so many ways that that story can end we've certainly seen horrible because nobody wanted to step in and do the right thing. So if we become aware of a situation of violence or any type that would even lead to that, young couples, you know, if you know of a new couple where already red flags are present, encourage them please to be brave enough to speak up, you know, and that can be to their parents, to the people that, you know, are there appointed mahram if there's someone, you know, a convert, for example, or the community members that are doing this type of work, whether they're a therapist or a spiritual counselor or someone who has the background to be able to advise them, but not to just turn away and be like, oh, no, my problem, you know, sakhfirullah, because you could very well help, you know, that couple, inshaAllah, save their marriage instead of, you know, let it go down into a really horrible, worse situation. So anyway, you know, just an advice there about really being responsible with information that comes to you and putting the needs of the other people before yourself, inshaAllah, in the advice that you give. So alhamdulillah, that concludes this section. So, okay, we're sort of right on time. I'm gonna go ahead and stop here so that I can see if there's any questions. But again, I'm just looking over if there's anything else that I missed. So chapter three, we covered five pillars. I'll active outreach focus, cooperation. Yeah, so alhamdulillah, the rest, the next section will be on charity and we'll continue with the remainder of chapter three, inshaAllah, but let me go ahead and stop the screen share here. All right, alhamdulillah. So now if you just permit me, I'm gonna try to go on here. And again, I'm doing this solo. Brother Salman, inshaAllah, was had a previous engagement. So he was not able to facilitate tonight, but inshaAllah, he'll be back with us, hopefully next time around. So let me look and see if there are any questions. And if there are, please do feel free to, I'm on, by the way, I'm not sure if this is broadcasting live to Facebook. I have no, or excuse me, YouTube, I have no idea. But I'm on the Facebook page. So let me reload here and see if there's any questions or comments. MashaAllah, as-salam. I see some lovely comments from some of you here. I just see, this is interesting. I see one, two, three, four comments, but it's saying there's nine comments. That's odd. I've never seen that before, but let me see if I switch this around. Do I see any more? No, I don't see any more comments. Okay, so I don't know where the other four comments or five comments are. I don't see them. But if there aren't any questions, then inshaAllah, we can conclude.  Of course, of course. We can always ask someone to make a dog for another person. There's nothing wrong with that, inshaAllah. I don't, you know, you don't have to give the details, you know, if it's a private matter.