Why does the narcissist treat everyone better than you? Why are they so kind and friendly to everyone, but so mean to you, whenever they're around you? They can seem so cruel and mean. They can seem so selfish and manipulative, so pushy and bossy, so overconfident and controlling. They judge you by your past rather than helping to build your future. They are unwilling to listen to you. They don't value anything you have to say. They withhold their kindness from you. They try to make themselves look great by making you look small. They look down on you without any intention of helping you up, but then they treat everyone else with fairness and equality. They give everyone else equal rights and opportunities while they just leave you out in the cold. They leave you in a bad position. They don't give you the right to advantages that they give to other people. Why do they do that? Why do they treat you this way? The reason why the narcissist treats you differently to everyone else. The reason why they treat everyone better than you is because they believe that you are better than everyone. They believe that you are better than them. They believe that you are more capable than they are. They believe that you have an unfair advantage and they don't like it. It makes them feel inferior to you. It makes them feel like they are beneath you. So they will try to level the playing field by taking away certain rights or advantages that you should be entitled to. They try to balance things out because you are more capable than everyone else.  You are different from everyone else and they can see it in the way that you walk and talk. You walk and behave in a very confident way. As though you recognize your importance. And in their minds that takes something away from them. Because they are looking at you and they are comparing themselves to you.  They feel like they are not at your level or standard. They feel like they are beneath you. And that is what gives them the motivation and desire to want to tear you down. To bring you down to their level. So that they don't have to keep looking up at you and feeling inferior to you. As Jim Ron once said. There are two ways to have the tallest building in town. One is to tear everyone else's building down. And the other is to build your building taller. But these types of people know that they do not possess the capabilities to compete with you. Which is why they feel they need to tear you down. And put everyone else above you. They will target your self-worth and self-esteem. And make you think you are not as good as you are.   Because that's exactly how they feel whenever they are around you. They feel like you are better than them. And it just makes them feel inferior. It makes them feel small.  To project their emotions onto you. To make you feel the way they do. To make you feel small. People can see how you feel about yourself. They can tell by the way you move. They can tell by the way you behave. They observe your speech, body language, facial expressions. And the way you groom yourself. It reveals your opinion about yourself. It shows that you are well looked after.  You have everything you need. You wear nice clothes. You eat good food. You have a nice home. You are provided with physical ease and relaxation.  You are physically relaxed and free from constraints. You are free from stress or tension. Free from financial worry. You have an adequate standard of living.  You've had it so easy. And people are seeing all of this. Even if they don't see where you live. Even if they don't see what car you drive. They see it in the way you carry yourself. They notice it in the way you feel about yourself. And it tears them apart. Because life hasn't been so easy for them. Their lives have been filled with challenges and difficulties. They may have been born into non-ideal circumstances. They may have lived in harsh conditions. They may have struggled to make ends meet. And they're looking at you. At how life has been so easy for you. At how everything just seems to fall into your lap. You quickly and unexpectedly achieve and obtain something desirable without effort. While they have to run themselves into the ground for nothing. They have to work themselves to the point of illness or exhaustion. While everything is so easy for you.  It bothers them. It causes them to feel worried and upset. They feel like they are being pestered and provoked. Because it triggers them to reflect on their own lives. It makes them realise how little they've accomplished in their own lives. They see you as being special. They see you as being better than they are. And it makes them feel less than you. Which is why they treat you unfairly. Which is why they treat everyone better than you. Because they don't want to entertain the idea that you are better than them. Even though that's what they think. They try to brush it off by acting like you're nothing special. They try to dismiss you. They try to treat you as being unworthy of their consideration. And they disrespect you. They look down on you. They try to make you feel like you're nothing. While they treat everyone else with kindness and respect. Because they want you to see that. And they want you to think that other people are more deserving of respect than you are. Because secretly they see your worth. They see that you're something special. They see that there's something different about you. But they don't want you to know that they see that. They want you to think that they don't see it. They want you to think that they think you're not a big deal. You're not as great as you may think. So they put other people before you. They put other people on a pedestal. They present other people as being perfect with no faults. They admire other people excessively. In an attempt to make you feel small. To make you feel like you're nothing. They always have to throw shade on you. They have to lessen your effectiveness, power and ability. They have to get under your skin. They have to irritate you intensely. They have to fill your mind in a compelling and a persistent way. Because all of these amazing things about you have captivated their interest and attention. It's caused them to obsess over you in a way where they just can't leave you alone. And the only way they feel they can relieve these emotions is by getting under your skin. By irritating you and making your life difficult. Because they're envious of you. That is why they disrespect you. That is why they ignore you. They have to treat you like you don't even exist. Because they see you as being better than them. And it makes them feel small. It makes them feel inferior to you. It makes them feel like you are attacking them. So now they have to get revenge.  In return for a perceived injury or wrong, they suffered at your hands.  But don't take this personally. It has nothing to do with you. And everything to do with them. It has everything to do with their lack of confidence and low self-esteem. How we treat people is a reflection of our own self-worth. They don't value or respect themselves. So they can't value or respect you. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.


topic is the best of people. So what did you think when you read the best of people as a title? You probably thought, and I'm talking about those whom I interact with and I had the opportunity of asking the question to, you probably thought well you know we need a world with better people so we're going to be speaking about the best of people because the last time I interacted with so and so they were not good. The last time I interacted with so and so they were not good. The last time we did business with someone they cheated and they deceived. The last time we perhaps you know ate somewhere or did something some form of interaction with someone they were not good enough. But I'm going to change this today because in Islam Allah says in the Quran very clearly Allah is not going to change the plight or the condition of a nation until and unless every individual takes it upon himself or herself to change himself or herself. If you change yourself that is that that is the moment that you will be contributing towards changing community and society. If society has changed then many societies will change making it a whole country that would have changed. The values become better. The morals what we live by becomes of a high standard and we become the best of people. So today we don't want to look at you. I want to look at the other three fingers those that come to me. How can I listen to what the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him has said and I'm going to concentrate on the hadith. I'm going to concentrate throughout my hour the whole speech I'm going to deliver. I will concentrate on statements made by Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam and we will explain them and we will work around them because the package is what what is of essence. You know people think that as Muslims we are the best but they don't realize that we cannot just say we are best as Muslims just by name Muslims rather you need to live by Islam you need to understand what the messenger peace be upon him gave and what he taught what he instructed what he prohibited and this is the reason why we are gathered here in this beautiful east London masjid the house of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala we always say it's the house of Allah it's not mine it's not yours we're all welcome here no matter what background you come from the race no matter who you are you are welcome here it's the house of your Lord your maker and inshallah whatever we say will make you feel a better person a better Muslim a person who's loved by Allah there is always hope for all of us the world is filled today with much hopelessness so much is happening that frustrates us but we need to constantly remember the almighty is most merciful you can pick up a message that comes from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and distinguish it from a message that is from someone else by looking at the mercy within the statement within the message if you find mercy in the statement if you find hope in that message it is definitely the lofty the high message of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala so let's start off by saying every one of us undertakes to improve himself or herself in so many ways let's not think while I'm speaking today that yes I know someone like this yes I know a person who perhaps might benefit from this when we ourselves have our own weaknesses you know give good news of perhaps a place in paradise to the one whose own weaknesses keep him or her occupied from engaging or entertaining or looking into the weaknesses of others in a negative way if you have seen the weaknesses of another perhaps you would like to be positive about it try and help them try and say something to them that might encourage them to quit their bad ways and habits not forgetting that every one of us myself included we have ways and habits that need correction rectification improvement perhaps even eradication may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for us so I start off with a narration that I mentioned in the same masjid some time back when I spoke to my brothers and sisters here it was a lovely message that we mentioned I think it was during the month of Ramadan if I'm not mistaken and subhanallah it's the it was just prior to Ramadan just before MashaAllah just prior to Ramadan see my memory fails me but MashaAllah I have people to correct that's actually something very good my brother I thank you for correcting me because accepting correction is also part of improving yourself and community at large many people think you know I know in my field I'm so and so and I know what I've achieved who is he to tell me subhanallah the minute we think that we've already dropped we've dropped society community because we all need correction so much so that when the Imam in Salah in prayer is reciting and he makes a mistake it is the right of everyone who knows the blunder to actually correct that Imam because it's the word of Allah don't make a mistake in those words and a good person a good Imam a good person in the front would actually consider it an honor to be corrected by someone no matter who it is it could be young and old tall and short he could have yelled it and screamed it from the corner or wherever else so what it was a correction it was needed everyone will correct you but in a different way perhaps some might correct you in a way you may not you may not like it I would like to think if I were to correct someone I choose the best possible way so that they don't feel bad but sometimes even if you've chosen the best way they will still feel bad I'm sure you know what I'm talking about so my duty is to be the best when I correct and my duty again is when I'm corrected don't feel bad may Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala make it easy for us so I start off with a hadith I mentioned in this Masjid it's a hadith reported in Sunan in fact in by Adara Courtney he mentions this beautiful narration and it is a Sahih correct narration Khairu Nasi the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says Khairu Nasi that means the best of people who are they and fa'u humlin Nasi the best of people are the most beneficial those who benefit the rest of the people the most so if you want to know if you are the best if you want to know if you are a top person and usually in the Arabic language when we say Khairu Nasi we're talking about the best of people so you are in a category that is the best there might be 2030 qualities of those who are right of that at that top category but every single quality will make you from among the best from among the best of people are those who benefit other people the most now that's quite a simple hadith it's easy to understand so I need to close my eyes I need to ask myself how much do I benefit the rest of people if I benefit them more than others then I am a better person than the others but I must not start thinking that I am better than them which will result in a chip on the shoulder effect where you start looking down on people to say but I'm better than you because I help you you don't help me they could be benefiting you through dua through prayer through that which you do not see which might be more valuable than whatever you've done to them so part and parcel of the signs of acceptance of benefiting others is when it makes you more humble when I've helped you and I never talk about it then I've really benefited you when I've been of benefit to you and I've never bragged I've never made you feel like I was the one who Allah chose to do this for you some people will give you something and say to you if it wasn't for me you wouldn't be where you are today that type of a statement will nullify your reward where do we get that from ya ayyuhal lazeena amanu la tubatilu sadaqatikum bilman ni wal aza or you who believe do not destroy the reward of your charities by bragging about these charities or by harming people after you've helped them if you brag and if you harm someone and you think you have the right to do that because you had the seeming upper hand at some stage then you've lost it you lose the reward Allah says don't nullify your reward when you give a charity be humble when you give a charity it is better to give a charity in a way that your left hand does not know what your right hand has spent although it is permissible to announce it if by that announcement you are going to encourage others for example if we have a fundraiser right now and I tell you who is going to donate a thousand pounds and you find two three guys putting up their hands and then you see others who think to themselves wow if he or she could put up the hand then I'm sure I can do better in that way there is encouragement so it would be permissible to do that in fact that it happened at the time of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him as well where some of the companions came up with so much and the others came up with more and others came up with more until the champion was Abu Bakr al Siddique who came up with all of his wealth I wonder how many would be able to do that may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make it easy for us so the best from among you those who are the most beneficial to others the question is why why didn't Allah say the best from amongst you is the one who stands in salah all day or all night and the one who fasts every day yes those are important pillars of Islam we cannot do without them but when Allah spoke about the best of people he started off by saying to us through the blessed lips of Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam that if you help others for the sake of Allah and you've helped them the most then you are definitely from among the best of people because by helping someone for the pleasure of Allah there are so many factors that come into play number one is you're not helping them because you want something in return from them if that's the case you're doing business with them it's a business deal I help you thinking that you're gonna help me back or I give you something thinking that I'm going to get something back in return that was a deal tit for tat I gave you you gave me all I'm expecting from you the day I don't get I feel bad but if I do it for the sake of Allah I'm not expecting anything back from you if it comes Alhamdulillah if it doesn't come and even bigger Alhamdulillah it's in the package notice it's the second time I'm saying it's in the package there's a reason I'm gonna get to that inshallah so it's in the package subhanallah you do good for the sake of Allah I'm doing good to you or you're doing good to me or to anyone else not because I think you deserve the good but because I want to please Allah you may deserve it you may not deserve it so when I'm doing good to someone who is good yes I'll get a reward but when I'm doing good to someone who is not good in that case I've plugged my reward in with Allah because that confirms I'm doing it for the sake of Allah because Allah loves those who do good so many places in the Quran Allah says and Allah loves those who do good so if I'm going to do good to anonymous person I don't know a person I don't introduce myself to they may not know you you help them in any means or way of helping any way of helping them whether you were on a journey with them and you facilitated for them whether you got up from the chair and allowed them to sit on public transport whether you help them up or across the road whether you gave them some money no matter what it was even if it were just with a kind word a word of goodness or just a smile that is kindness subhanallah many of us forget this we think okay when we talk about kindness it means money so I took out 20 pounds and I put it in the box I was kind that's not the definition of kindness that's a charity yes if you did it with the correct intention alhamdulillah but kindness extends way beyond that my brothers and sisters and charity begins at home and this is why the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ extends it further when he says the best from amongst you he uses the same wording and he uses a different category of people so he says khayrukum khayrukum li ahlihi the best from amongst you which means the best of people are those who are best to their family members you know the term ahl it starts off with the spouse and everyone else in the family now one might say well there's a contradiction here in one narration he says the best from among you are those who benefit the others the most and another he says the best from among you are those who are best to their family members no contradiction your family members are people they are the closest people to you you're going to benefit them to start with and then everybody else what's the point of me benefiting the rest of the world but when I come home we have this cat and mouse relationship with our own children as you knock the door or as they hear you open the door or as they hear your car just come into the drive if you have a drive or on the road and everyone is held the skeleton hidden and gone subhanallah why because dad is in that's okay but nowadays because man is in subhanallah may Allah forgive us I hope that's not the case but you know there's equality in the sense that nowadays we've got to speak about both subhanallah may Allah help us all mothers or fathers no matter who but may Allah make us from among those who can be kind to those we live with who can start the trend of being good to our family members wallahi if you want to be the best of people it has to start at home your children your spouses your parents your brothers and sisters and inshallah we will come across a few more narrations that explain this a little bit clearly further down but the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam also tells us in another narration a beautiful powerful narration the best from among you the best of people definitely from among the best of you are those who have the best character and conduct how do you carry yourself how do you walk how do you talk how do you come across to the people you interact with that will make you the best of the Muslims do you know that and this is why we say when you fulfill your salah when you give your zakah when you actually fast in the month of Ramadan and when you've gone for Hajj if your character and conduct has not improved there is something wrong with your acts of worship definitely something wrong but if your character has improved you've become conscious of Allah going back to the question I asked right at the beginning why why is it so important to benefit others why others because those others are created by Allah just like you are those others their Lord is Allah just like your Lord is Allah those others are the creatures of the same maker who made you the minute you recognize that you realize that you are just but a number subhan Allah you are a number if you were in need you would expect people to reach out to you who would put it in their hearts to reach out to you if you were drowning for example if you were in dire need we see across the globe people struggling and suffering we hear about what may or may not happen in Idlib in Syria may Allah help them and grant them goodness and ease our hearts bleed indeed we are Muslim in how do we reach out to them the minimum is through dua thereafter we may want to look at people who are helping and assisting in terms of humanitarian ways and we might want to consider helping in that way if possible for us and our pockets and that's not actually impossible it's very possible but if you did not realize who they are and the fact that they are suffering not just there but anyway let's take an example of Japan what happened in Japan a few days ago subhan Allah how many of us made dua for them it doesn't mean that just because they were non-muslim perhaps predominantly that you don't pray for them that is humanity have you understood what humanity is the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him made a great effort on humanity that is when humanity realized the high and lofty message that he was carrying and that's when they accepted the message many people think well you know if they are sinful I don't need to benefit them well you've lost it because if they are sinful you need to reach out to them in a bigger way so that they can understand perhaps they may be guided look at what Allah tells Musa aleyhi salam when he went to the Pharaoh and I said this in the same masjid the last time I was here and subhan Allah this time I'm giving you the same example but with a different point Allah says to him fa qulalahu qawlallainal la'allahu yata dhakkaru awyakshaa go to the Pharaoh you and your brother Haroon and speak to him in a soft way speak to him in a lenient way with soft words perhaps he may turn perhaps he may remember he may be reminded and he may become conscious of Allah go out and reach to the tyrant of tyrants this was an instruction to the messenger the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him when he saw Abu Jahl who was one of the worst of Makkah what did he do he did not just spit on his face no he never did that he actually reached out to him so much so that in the Quran and the Sunnah there is mention made of how much importance the Prophet peace be upon him gave the leaders of Makkah who were not Muslim when it came to reaching out to them with the noble message of Islam that some of the companions actually felt neglected as a result and the Quran makes mention of this and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala speaks about prioritization but never did he say subhanahu wa ta'ala that you should ignore people simply because they're sinful not at all in fact Ali Ibn Abi Talib radiallahu anhu was told that if you are if Allah uses you to guide a single person towards goodness it's better for you than whatever but then the most expensive conveyance that there is at the time subhanallah at that time the red camel Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness so the reason why benefiting others is so important is because the minute you have done that and you realize its importance you have now realized your link with the rest of those seated with you those who are not seated with you those who are outside who think similar to you and those who don't think like you subhanallah those who disagree with you as well reach out to them benefit them and that's why the Prophet says those who are the best from the people are those who are the most in terms of benefit to the rest of the people he didn't say Muslims he said the people it's amazing subhanahu wa ta'ala Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala has indeed blessed us and this is why another narration in Sunnah the tirmidi and I told you I'm going to mention hadith after hadith beautiful narration we need to know it the Prophet peace be upon him says another one also connected to character and conduct also connected to benefiting people the Prophet says the best of people the best of you is the one whom goodness is hoped from him and people feel secure from his harm they know they won't be harmed subhanallah when you walk past do people really believe that you're a person who can only benefit them you wouldn't harm them if that's the case you're one of the best of people subhanallah your expression says a lot even if you have a beard that extends to the ground but you have a lovely smile subhanallah it will melt even the hardest heart that may look at you and think for a moment what's this muslimic person doing here may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease the minute you break into a smile you reach out to help you try to communicate you greet you reply a greeting subhanallah it changes the perception of people because that's who you're supposed to be an ambassador of the dean an ambassador of Allah and his Rasul sallallahu alaihi wa sallam are we not a Khalifa on earth meaning are we not a vice gerent on earth have we not come here in order to do what Allah wills what Allah wants well Allah put with us a whole lot of people and our interaction with them determines how good we are our interaction with them definitely determines how good we are so that's why the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says the best of the people meaning the best of you are those whom only goodness is expected from them and we feel very safe from their harm in another narration the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam speaks about the Muslims now you know what happens today if you look at social media if you look at and I have to say social media because it's become the means of communication right your phones the messages the WhatsApp messages whatever else it may be a lot of it has much falsehood deception hurtful words abusive words insult refutations that haven't even given an opportunity to the one we've refuted the chance to explain subhanallah you know if you did something wrong and I want to refute you the minimum is I need to have an audience with you to explain to me what exactly you said and why you said it or did what you did and there will probably be an explanation if there isn't step number one is to help to guide to be able to communicate to benefit people are willing to accept their mistakes if we correct them in a beautiful way and like I said earlier we should be from among those who consider it an honor to be corrected but subhanallah when we interact with others sometimes we find people have the worst of words online so the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says do you know who is the best do you know who is the best from among you the best of the Muslims are those whom the rest are safe from the evil of their tongues and their hands if you're a good Muslim your tongue will never be used to abuse someone never your tongue will never be used to deceive if you're a good Muslim your hand will never be used to harm and when we say hand you know don't come to me and say I just used the gun no way don't say that not at all it means to harm someone in any way you're harming them so your physical abuse as well as verbal abuse this is what is meant by it imagine the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam more than 1400 years back is speaking about physical abuse and verbal abuse these words we hear about them only now in the last so many decades subhanallah people speak about emotional abuse physical abuse verbal abuse so much abuse abuse abuse abuse subhanallah and the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam has already said it another narration says which is more interesting a Muslim is a person whom the others are safe from the evil or the harm of his or her tongue or actions words or actions so this makes us the best of people ask yourself for a moment subhanallah are you part of the package subhanallah you know when I look like a Muslim you expect things from me if you're a good Muslim to be exactly as Islam has taught with the minute you see me you expect a truthful person a person who's of high standards high morals high values a person who helps others a person who's not judgmental of others are we really that way are we really that way it is supposed to be a part of the package the minute you speak to someone even if it's over the phone and the name happens to be Muhammad for example a common name the name happens to be Muhammad who are you you're an ambassador not just of Islam but even your name is Muhammad peace be upon him named after the Prophet peace be upon him right Muhammad imagine if you were a person who did not work on your bad habits if you harmed people if you never helped others if you never reached out to those who harmed you and what was the point of giving yourself that name or why did your parents give you that name subhanallah no wonder we call each other more and more because we're embarrassed may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease when I speak of the package you know we speak I've mentioned the word package four or five times the reason is we're supposed to be Muslim the minute I'm a Muslim you know you need to know what's inside I give you one little example in the form of a light statement okay so they say there was a teacher English teacher the English teachers asking the students to make sentences with words okay so the teacher says make a sentence with sugar in it so someone says I had sugar in the morning another one says you're as sweet as sugar someone else says something else and one boy puts up his hand he says I drank tea in the morning so the teacher says where's the sugar you know what he says it's in the tea it's in the tea that's a package subhanallah I had my tea in the morning where's the sugar sugar is inside didn't you say make a sentence with sugar in it well the sugar was in it subhanallah may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness the reason I say it's a package is because with us you're a Muslim well where's the sugar it's supposed to be in you the problem with us is we're on artificial flavoring mashallah sweetness may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make us sweet Wallahi to be sweet is a good quality to be sweet especially to the right people here we are speaking about Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wa sallam his words his actions are all there to prove his words that's why he says the best from among you are those who are best to your family members and I am the best to mine from among you I'm the best subhanallah which means he lived up to what he said many of us preach one thing and we live another and this is where we falter and this is where we actually go wrong then the Prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam speaks of another hadith also in Sunan Ibn-e-Majah he speaks about the best of people he says doleqal bil makhmumi doleqal bil makhmum a person who has a heart that is makhmum I'll explain the word makhmum in a moment right and the person who has a tongue that is sadiq well listen a sadiq a truthful tongue and the heart that is makhmum so the sahaba the companions are already Allah they asked what is the meaning of al-qalbal makhmum because listen sadiq we've understood it truthful tongue you don't say abuse you don't say wrong words false words no deception no false witness etc etc we understood that but what about al-qalbal makhmum you know what he said he said it is attaqi annaqi it is that heart which is conscious of the Almighty that heart which is pure and clean the heart which is free from sin transgression and jealousy if you are free from jealousy you have already arrived at a level that is very very high how many of us can say we're free from jealousy free from jealousy work on yourself my brothers my sisters work on it hard you see someone with something better than you thank Allah for what you have you're supposed to be looking at those who don't even have what you have the problem with us we're quick to look at what others have that we don't have and he said oh wow but we didn't look at those who are looking at us and saying oh wow subhanallah they are wowing themselves at you and you're wowing yourself at someone else and you don't realize two or three letters and you get to ya subhanallah you know my jokes are quite dry they actually take a little bit of thinking to to catch but may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us all ease may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala open our doors and make us from those who appreciate his favors upon us and then we have a problem of greeting people don't greet have you noticed that we're in a masjid here right now right now do you know people will attend a function they wouldn't have greeted each other even the person next to you they wouldn't be greeting each other i think we can spend a minute shaking hands with the person next to you inshallah and saying salam and saying your name inshallah we give you 30 seconds to do that inshallah it's for the sake of Allah it will increase the love between us i'm sure the sisters are doing that as well as the brothers mashallah it needs to be an environment of love when people come to the masjid my brothers my sisters there was a time when i was young i used to look at some people who were a little bit older nowadays maybe inshallah i hope it's not there i need to say that okay so we used to look at some of them they used to give us dirty looks at times just because of you know perhaps they might we might not have been dressed how they wanted us to be dressed brother i've come to the masjid come on man you need to smile at me make me feel at home tomorrow i'll come inshallah in a better position in a better way but if you chase me away for what are you doing here you're lost here today where do you want to go the pub is that side brother stop for Allah may Allah forgive us these are the type of words that chase people away from goodness this is the house of Allah anyone who makes others comfortable here and creates space for them is actually from among the best of people do you know there is a narration i came across today when i was actually going through the ahadith for this topic that the prophet says the best from among you inshallah is the one who has the softest shoulders and you know what that means what's a soft shoulder you know when i'm standing comfortable in ramadan and then you have the guy who wants to cross the red traffic light he budges in and what happens what do we do by default we just push him push him further push him further right that's what a lot of people do and they and they make sure they make his life a misery when he goes to sujood they're there before him and there's no space for him to go in subhanallah the reason why you're laughing is because you know what i'm talking about yes so you want to be the best of people the prophet muhammad peace be upon him speaks about the same thing in the hadith he says the best of you are those whose shoulders are soft in salah in the soft what that means someone comes you create space for them so what make space for someone perhaps Allah will make space for you in jannah amin amin amin the next time someone barges in make space for them subhanallah like i say and say to yourself and say to Allah that oh Allah you know i might just have been disturbed a little bit but you make space for me in in paradise amin and then when you're done with your salah you tell the brother brother do you do this every day or is it just today you know because we need correction as well say today you're welcome my brother alhamdulillah but try to be here early tomorrow we can both stand in the first of and the next day you'll come early and guess what will happen a third guy will come and do that you know why because you're being tested by Allah are you ready to give others a space are you ready to give a lift to someone are you ready to reach out to someone if you cannot reach out to someone in your prayer do you really think you're going to reach out to people in anything else it's not possible here you are you need to love for others what you love for yourself i want to be in the first sub you know the hadith speaks about the importance of the first sub if people knew the value of that first sub you know they would do a few things in order to make sure that they were there they would draw lots put everyone's name in a hat because we're all here first we all want to be in the first let's see whose name comes up to stand there subhanallah but with us mashallah we are taught to come early and you make it if you haven't you stand in the next sub by the will of Allah so remember that hadith you know it did something to me when i read it today because after a long time i was reminded of this it had already slipped my mind the soft shoulders the hadith says the best from among you in salah those with soft shoulders mashallah a lot of us the hard shoulders you know i've been to the gym today mashallah subhanallah so you're standing there the guy must feel that you know i'm tough subhanallah soften up a little bit humble yourself it's salah may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease so the other narration says you know when you're when you're passing someone there is an explanation of who should greet first the one who's passing should greet the one who those who are seated those in small numbers should greet those in a bigger number and so on the young should greet the old but sometimes people don't greet they just walk past so what happens we look at them say they didn't greet look how arrogant stop saying that what about you you could have greeted but i didn't need to greet because i was older than this guy the hadith says the young supposed to greet the old that whole discussion is irrelevant because the hadith says the best from you the one who starts with the salam you say asalamu alaykum whether they reply you or not is irrelevant you did it for Allah so your reward is written when i say to you asalamu alaykum you say wa alaykum asalam or you don't say wa alaykum asalam my reward is written it's now up to you to get a reward so why must i be bothered whether you replied me or not you may not have heard me and this is why the best from amongst us are those who think good and who develop good excuses for others who might be doing something we haven't understood it's called husnu dan you see someone do something you see someone hasn't replied you think to yourself maybe they haven't heard me maybe they perhaps have a bit of wax in their ears okay even that's a little bit derogatory but anyway maybe they haven't heard me maybe i didn't say it loud enough perhaps i didn't greet properly maybe they thought i was greeting someone else all those maybes will take you to paradise why because they are good maybes but the minute you see no he heard me loud and clear he didn't want to greet he arrogant that uncle i've known him for the last so many years he's always like that look at his face all that will lead to more and more and more the next time you see him you would just look at him and you wouldn't even want to greet it happens with the sisters as well i'm talking about uncle uncle what about the aunties may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease may Allah grant us goodness sometimes it becomes tough you know we attend religious functions and we're like strangers to each other we make people feel so unwanted we make people feel like they're in the wrong place why you're welcome mashallah it's your place we're all part of one huge family just like if calamity were to strike we would reach out to everyone whether they were muslim non-muslim tall short this race that race wherever we would reach out to them just like that in goodness we should reach out to the same crowds same this in the same way which means no matter what race no matter what ethnicity no matter where they come from what language they speak how wealthy or poor they may be no matter what religion they belong to etc etc all that becomes irrelevant make sure you are the best when you do things do it for the pleasure of Allah you know why if it is acknowledged by mankind that's a bonus but if it is not acknowledged by man you need to know it was always acknowledged by Allah you did it for Allah i greeted you for Allah i helped you for Allah i don't want when we feed we feed for the pleasure of Allah we don't even want a reward we're compensated from you nor do we want you to say thank you to us no acknowledgement i don't need an acknowledgement today when we finished our talks we deliver what's known as a vote of thanks if one name is missed by error the brother becomes so upset he's depressed for three days and after a week he writes a letter to say guys i gave you x you didn't even say my name but you mentioned the other guy's name because he's a top shot it was a mistake yes i do know to thank people is gratitude gratitude is a sign that is taught to us by Allah it is in fact an an attribute that is taught to us by Allah to show gratitude if you're not going to be grateful to mankind you will not be able to show gratefulness to Allah that's what the hadith says the reason is the people who did good to you you can actually see them and you haven't even acknowledged them how are you going to acknowledge the unseen subhanallah so while we are taught to be grateful we're also taught not to expect that gratitude from people but rather from Allah so two sides of the coin we should thank people but we shouldn't expect people to thank us if they did alhamdulillah if they didn't Allah already knows it and this is why you keep on going i see people and you know development takes years it takes a long time and it takes many reminders and it takes working hard on yourself to develop yourself you will not be able to develop yourself if you don't work hard on your character your conduct i remember back in the day i used to feel so offended if one person said one negative sentence about me now they can write a whole book it doesn't bother me doesn't they can write a whole book i know what i stand for those who are close to me know what i stand for those whom i interact with they know what we stand for and the same applies to every one of you i'm sure you are brilliant people those who know know and those who don't know don't the problem is when those who know know otherwise then you have a lot of correction to do mashallah i'm wording it so carefully notice mashallah may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us all the ability to develop ourselves and to grant us goodness and ease so the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam speaks about greeting he says the best one among you those who start off with the salam i already mentioned that hadith then he says the best from among you are those who feed others feed others food wow amazing feed others those who feed others so it means you reach out to those who don't have as well as sometimes to those who do have but you sit together sometimes you eat let's go for a meal once in a while not that we are going to waste but sometimes a group of friends come together good buddies those who take care of the type of company they interact with and mix with and associate with are also the best of people the best of people are also those who are careful about the type of people they mix with and careful about the type of people they are so that others who are mixing with them would consider themselves mixing with good people that's a very powerful point one is for me to be in good company but what am i doing for others to consider me good company many times people say did you know what yeah the best of people like when i started i said the same thing we look at others and say they're not the best they're not the best how many of us could easily say well i lead my life in a way that i hope those around me do believe that i'm making an effort to be from among the best of people do you lead your life in that way if not you need correction and if you are it's a constant improvement constant improvement we require so feeding food which means reaching out to those who are poor looking for them searching for them hunting for them making sure we give them and don't just give throwaways to them sometimes we give things that we wouldn't eat ourselves and we say well they're hungry they'll have it no something reasonable something decent something packed in a good way they would take it from you and smile wow i remember a beggar in mecca to mukarrama i saw one of the hujjaj one of the the pilgrims in mecca purchase a large number of al-bakes you know what al-bake is sorry not al-bake al-bake there's a difference between the two although they sound similar mashaAllah al-bake is a restaurant there in mecca in that part of the world so he must have liked the food there he purchased so many and he decided to distribute it among those who are considered you know the cleaners and the others and you should see the smile on their faces subhanAllah giving a hot meal full closed sealed in a packet mashaAllah that's for you that's for you and i'm thinking to myself you know we're used to just giving leftovers here is someone giving a proper meal may Allah strengthen us may Allah strengthen us how many people there are out there who would dream of going into a restaurant and having a meal perhaps down the road as we were coming here today i was telling one of my colleagues i said you know what there are enough restaurants here to feed the whole world he told me you'll be surprised people from the whole world come here to eat is that true is that quite true yes it is there goes subhanAllah so now i'm thinking to myself i'm sure there are people who cannot afford it and i'm sure there are people who can afford 20 meals so have you ever considered take two people who can't afford it or a little family take them out for the meal and tell them here it is do it for the sake of Allah you don't want to clock brownie points with them but with Allah you fed and you can say to yourself that oh Allah i heard the hadith that the Prophet ﷺ said that those who are the best they feed people here i am i'm just making them happy one day one might argue well you know that amount of money could be spent better elsewhere it could be but once in a while this is also not a bad thing subhanAllah this is also not a bad thing and the second part of that hadith is even more important for me moments ago we said the best from amongst you the the one who greets first right this narration says the one who feeds and the one who replies the greeting wow subhanAllah the one who replied look at how comprehensive the sunnah is talking of the best of people you reply the greeting you're the best of people reply why reply Allah says when you are greeted with a greeting respond with a better greeting which means oh people when someone does good to you do more good to them and if you cannot do more good to them then at least equate it someone said assalamu alaikum which means may peace be upon you mashaAllah what a great dua you need to reply to them wa alaikum assalam minimum try and add to it may peace be upon you as well the blessings of Allah the mercy of Allah you were better to them than they were to you do you know today we look at people and we see how people harm each other and we start saying you know what friends used to be those who helped you and benefited you today friends are those who at least do not harm you if someone doesn't harm me he's my buddy i promise you he's a good guy i don't need anyone to benefit me anymore that's the the age where living in is if you are saved from the harm of someone else he's a good man subhanAllah so ask yourself are you from among those the hadith and the Quran speaks about doing better to someone else than what they did to you but i want to tell you we've become so low that even if you just equated it or even if you didn't harm them as a result you would still be considered in today's world as a reasonable chap subhanAllah a good person may Allah make it easy for us so this was to do with the responding of the salam then we have a very beautiful hadith narrated in sunan in musnad al-imam Ahmad and sunan at tirmidi the prophet says the best companions in the eyes of Allah are those who are best to their own companions that wording is superb superb how amazing is that wording those of you who know the arabic language the best of companions in the eyes of Allah is he who is best to his own companions your buddies your friends your circle your companions if you are the best to them in the eyes of Allah you are the best companion and the hadith continues to say the best neighbor in the eyes of Allah is the one who is best to his neighbors this hadith goes to show that islam doesn't teach you to look at others and worry about how good they are but islam says your value is based on how good you are not how bad they are did you get that your value is determined by how good you are even in the face of harshness in the face of bad in the face of evil don't look at your values someone swore you don't swear them back because that was not you they showed their true colors it's your opportunity to show yours you don't stand for those values you don't believe in that derogatory way of life you believe in something much loftier so if they were to swear you if they were to laugh at you if they were to mock at you if they were to try and abuse you verbally etc you don't have to be the gangster type of person to say what did you just say here you know i've avoided the salt and pepper in the statement but you know what it is right but that's what they do hey bro what do you say say it again no you heard it you did you did you just got to look at them in love especially if you're a big guy big guy and they look at you they're probably you know when you turn around to look at them they'll turn around to look at the air behind them subhanallah because they know if this guy just blows i'll be gone man may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us ease but this is what it is learn to calm down learn to calm down look at the life of the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him salallahu alaihi salam look at what he did here's the prophet salallahu alaihi salam telling us that in the eyes of Allah the best neighbor is he who is personally best to his own neighbors forget about what they're doing are you good to them if you're good to them you're the best of the lot so that's also a beautiful beautiful narration another narration the best of people those whom when they owe others money they pay on time when you owe someone when you owe someone you pay on time you become the best of people and when you pay you pay properly you might want to give them a bonus that was not preconditioned if it was preconditioned it becomes usury interest if it was not preconditioned it's acceptable it's okay give them a gift no harm why they helped you but it was not a condition the minute it's a condition it's a problem so that's a hadith the prophet says that the best of people are those the best of those who when who give back on time there is another narration that the prophet salallahu alaihi salam speaks about it's the other side of the coin remember islam is comprehensive it says if you have given time to a person who owes you money extended the time because you know that they cannot manage to pay you back and you do not desperately need that money in that case Allah will create time for you on the day of judgment subhanallah if you made it easy for someone you're a wealthy man the guy owes you a thousand pounds and you're a multi-millionaire and you know he owes it to you and he told you i'll pay you next month and you know he's struggling and you say don't worry my brother you pay me as soon as you get that money and don't make him feel cheap you go he won't even come to the masjid at some point why he owes money the minute he enters and he sees you in the first soft and you're just looking back he's already looking the other way you know why i owe him a grand man i owe him a k what do they call it here yeah a k so subhanallah but they're supposed to look and greet you know you're a wealthy person yes he owes you you know what the hadith speaks about a man who was given jannah and he was asked what is it that made you get into jannah into paradise he says i can't really think of things but i do know i had a messenger i used to send him to all the debtors and tell them if you cannot pay it's okay you pay me when you can so Allah looked at that quality loved it so much and chose to give me paradise it's a hadith sahih it's a narration of the prophet sallam and that narration is not there just for us to look at and say wow it's there for us to look at and ask ourselves do we give people time do we actually excuse people sometimes someone might tell you i'll do this on this day yes sometimes they have a bad habit what's the bad habit a lot of us have it maybe i may have it at times where we become a little bit complacent we become a little bit you know not so regular or punctual with certain things but we need to improve don't make it a habit become punctual when you say six o'clock it's six o'clock when you say eight o'clock it's eight o'clock you know subhanallah when we say Greenwich meantime it's supposed to be Greenwich meantime subhanallah don't change it to mean something else that just allows you to to take a little bit longer may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala grant us goodness and ease now let's move on to something very important when it comes to spirituality when it comes to closeness with Allah do you want to know who's the best from amongst you the best of people who are they they are the ones who learn the Qur'an and teach it to others no doubt the best of people are those who learn the Qur'an and convey it to others now like i said at the beginning there's no contradiction between any of these narrations the reason is all of this is connected to character and conduct when the Prophet peace be upon him's wife aisha radiallahu anha was asked about the character of the Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him what was he like she said his character was the Qur'an he was an embodiment of the entire Qur'an he lived by it he lived with it he lived exactly like it was he was a moving Qur'an subhanallah his character his conduct everything was meticulous proper subhanallah so if you learn the Qur'an and you practice it and you convey it to others you become the best of people from every aspect because it will correct your link with Allah which is of prime importance and it will improve you as a person and your character and conduct which is a sign of the link with Allah the link with Allah important it's the most important thing but a sign of that link is your character and conduct that's why when the Prophet peace be upon him was asked about the characteristics of the people of jannah you've heard this hadith i'm quite sure before if you haven't well he said the characteristics are the people of paradise will enter paradise predominantly with two qualities one is the consciousness of their maker and two is their character and conduct the greatness of their character and their conduct so this is something important let's make an effort to learn the Qur'an let's make an effort to learn how to read it recite it understand it put it into practice convey it to others have you ever sat with anyone your buddies your children your family members your anyone else and spoken about one verse of the Qur'an have you have you a lot of the young boys and girls will say no some would say yes i'd like to see that number grow who say yes i have we have we spoke about one ayah and the next week we spoke about another ayah and then my friend came up with a third ayah what are you doing you learn the Qur'an and you teaching it you're talking about it to others you are becoming from among the best of people if you don't understand the verse go and learn go and ask go and seek knowledge and don't get trapped by those who have a warped understanding of the words of Allah they don't have that knowledge where they would be able to explain to you the meanings of the verses that may not be understood so easily there is a context to the revelation of the verses the understanding of some of the verses would require a person of knowledge otherwise you may just go astray so if you have a question and if you really do not understand something please ask those of knowledge as Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala teaches us then we have another narration and i have a few more minutes i've spoken for a whole hour but i still have a few minutes inshallah and we will call salatul adhan for salatul isha as soon as i'm done inshallah i'll try not to delay the hadith the prophet sallallahu alaihi wa sallam says two more narrations i will mention soon in the tirmidi he says the best of people are those whom Allah gave a long life and they did lots of good deeds in that long life and the worst of people are those whom Allah gave a long life and they did very bad deeds in that long life what that means is if Allah gave you a long life and you used it to do good deeds oh you're one of the best of people but if Allah gave you a long life and you did not do good deeds the hadith says well then you're a bad person but it's not late you can always seek forgiveness at least you'll be forgiven by Allah and the one who has achieved the forgiveness of Allah has won the race they've won the race what that means is last minute you turn to Allah the problem is we don't know when is last minute right if we knew when last minute was if you and i knew that we're going to live for 50 years 49 years and 350 days later we say oh Allah forgive me for what's happened five days boom when we're done just before the whistle blows five goals mashallah we won five one but we were losing one all along subhanallah so that is a very important narration to say as Allah gives you life do some good do good with it so you know you've actually banked a lot of good deeds in the bank with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and the last narration speaks about the worst of people why am i ending with this because when we want to talk about the best of people we must give a comparison and we must look at who is the worst if you want to see who's the worst you've got to understand what the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa ta'ala has said and that will make you realize the value of the best so here goes the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa ta'ala says the worst person in the eyes of Allah is the one whom the people have left the people have gone away from they stay away from because they want to save themselves from the harm of that person which means the person has so much evil so much harm that no one wants to even interact with them no one wants to mix with them no one wants to be with them people want to go away wallahi my brothers and sisters we're doing this in our own houses we're doing it with our children we're doing it with our grandchildren our daughters-in-law sons-in-law and vice versa we're doing it all over it's at home where i know of children who don't want to go home why you know what's going to happen at home they're just going to do this and they're going to say that and you don't even want to go home that means someone at home is bad there's something or we are bad something's wrong we should be such the best of people are those whom when they walk past everyone wants to associate with them everyone is brought into a good mood there's a positive vibe that comes out those are the best of people they are helpful they have a good expression they talk well they don't deceive but if we are bad the hadith says that the worst of the people are those whom everyone wants to stay away from in order to be protected from the harm that comes from that person may Allah not make us from those may Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala bless every one of us it was quite a tough topic it was a very good topic it was more of learning and i really pray that Allah help me to become a better person and Allah help every one of us to become a better person