1. Uncle Wigley and the Sorrowful Crow Once upon a time, a good many years ago, there was an old rabbit gentleman named Uncle Wigley Long Ears. He was related to Johnny and Billy Bushtail, the Squirrels, as well as being an uncle to Sammy and Susie Little Tail, his rabbit nephew and niece. An Uncle Wigley lived near Jackie and Petey Bow Wow, the puppy dogs, while not far away was the home of the Wibble Wobble family of ducks, and across the street, almost, around the corner by the old stump, were the cat children, and netty and blacky stubtail, the nice bear children. One day, Uncle Wigley was not feeling very well, so he sent for Dr. Possum, who soon came over. Dr. Possum found Uncle Wigley sitting in the rocking chair on the front porch of the hollow stump house where he lived. Well, what is it, Uncle Wigley? asked Dr. Possum, as he looked over the tops of his glasses. I am sick, answered the rabbit gentleman. Sick, eh? exclaimed Dr. Possum. Let me see. Put out your tongue. Uncle Wigley did so. Ha! Hmm! exclaimed Dr. Possum. Yes, I think you are ill, and you will have to do something for it right away.  You will simply have to go away, said Dr. Possum. There is no help for it. I don't see why, exclaimed Uncle Wigley, and he bent one of his long ears forward and the other backward, until he looked as if he had the letter V on top of his head. But of course he hadn't, for that letter is in the reading-book, or it was the last time I looked. Yes, said Dr. Possum, you must go away. I don't see why, said Uncle Wigley again. Couldn't I get well at home here? No, you could not, replied Dr. Possum. If you want me to tell the truth—oh, always tell the truth, exclaimed Uncle Wigley quickly. Always. Well, then, said Dr. Possum, as he looked in his medicine case, to see if he had any strong peppermint for Aunt Jerusia Ann, the little, nervous old lady woodchuck. Well, then, to tell you the truth, you are getting too fat and you must take more exercise. Exercise! cried Uncle Wigley. Why, don't I play a game of scotch-checkers with grandfather Goosey Gander, the old gentleman duck, nearly every day? And we always eat the sugar cookies we use for checkers. That's just it, said Dr. Possum, as he rolled up a sweet sugar pill for Sammy Little Tail, the mill-rabbit boy.   Why, don't you remember the time I went off and had a lot of adventures, and how I travelled after my fortune and found it? That is just the trouble, spoke Dr. Possum. You found your fortune, and since you became rich, you do nothing. I remember the time when you used to teach Sammy and Suzie Little Tail how to keep out of traps, and how to dig burrows, and watch out for savage dogs. Ah, yes, sighed Uncle Wigley. Those were happy days. And healthful days too, said Dr. Possum. You were much better off then, and not so fat. And so you think I had better start travelling again? asked Uncle Wigley, taking off his high hat and bowing politely to Aunt Letty, the nice goat-lady, who was passing by, with her two horns sticking through holes in her Sunday-go-to-meeting bonnet. Yes, it would be the best thing for you, spoke Dr. Possum. Medicine is all right sometimes, but fresh air and sunshine and being out of doors and happy and contented and helping people, as Uncle Booster the old hog-gentleman used to do, all these are better than medicine. How is Uncle Booster, by the way? inquired the rabbit gentleman. Fine, he helped a little girl mouse to jump over a mud-puddle the other day, and after she was on the other side she jumped back all by herself and fell in, said Dr. Possum with a laugh. That's the kind of a gentleman Uncle Booster is. Ha, ha, ha! exclaimed Uncle Wigley. That's queer. But now, do you think it would do me any good to start off and have some adventures in my automobile? It would be better to walk, said Dr. Possum.  And I tell you that you must go around more, take more exercise.  I had much rather, said Uncle Wigley, I like my auto. Then, said Dr. Possum, I will write you that as a prescription.  I'll do it at once, said the rabbit gentleman. Uncle Wigley long years was quite rich, you know, having found his fortune of about a million yellow carrots, as I have told you in some other stories. So he could afford to have an auto. And it was the nicest auto you could imagine. It had a turnip for a steering wheel, and whenever Uncle Wigley got hungry, he could take a bite of turnip. Sometimes, after a long trip, the steering wheel would be all eaten up, and old circus dog Percival, who mended broken autos, would have to put on a new wheel.  So instead of going honk, honk, like a duck, it went moo, moo, like a bossy cow at suppertime. Well, if I'm going off for my health, I'd better start, said Uncle Wigley, as he went out to his auto after Dr. Possum had gone. I'll take a long ride. So he got in the machine and pushed on the doodle-oodle-um, and twisted the tinkerum-tankerum, and away he went as fast as anything, if not faster. Over the fields and through the woods he went, and pretty soon he came to a place where lived a sorrowful crow, gentlemen. The crow cone is a black bird, and it pulls up corn and goes, ah, ah! Nobody knows why, though. And this crow was very sorrowful. He was always thinking something unpleasant was going to happen, such as that he was going to drop his ice-cream cone in the mud, or that somebody would put whitewash on him. Oh, he was very sorrowful, was this crow, and his name was Mr. Caw-Caw.  Why, what is the matter? asked Uncle Wigley, curious like. Oh, something is going to happen, cried the crow. I know it will rain, or snow, or freeze, or maybe my feathers will all blow off.  You just come for an auto-ride with me, and you'll feel better.  So Mr. Caw-Caw got into the auto, and once more Uncle Wigley started off. He had not gone very far before all of a sudden there was a bangity-bang noise, and the auto stopped so quickly that Uncle Wigley and the crow were almost thrown out of their seats. There! cried the black crow. I knew something would happen, and he cried, Caw-Caw-Caw. It is nothing at all, said the rabbit gentleman, as he got out to look. Only the whizzicum-whizzicum has become twisted around the jump over-the-clothes basket, and we can't go until it's fixed. Can't go, asked the crow. Can't go. No, said Uncle Wigley, and he didn't know what to do. But just then along came old dog Percival, who used to work in a circus. I'll pull you along, he said.  And he did, by a rope, fast to the car. The crow said it was funny to have a circus dog pulling an auto, but Uncle Wigley did not mind, and soon they were at a place where the auto could be fixed. So Uncle Wigley and the crow waited there while the machine was being mended. And we will see what happens to us tomorrow, said Uncle Wigley, for I am going to travel on. And he did. And in case the jumping rope doesn't skip over the clock and make the hands tickle the face, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wigley and the schoolteacher. Uncle Wigley Long Ears, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was riding along in his automobile with a turnip for a steering wheel, and he had not yet taken more than two bites out of the turnip, for it was only shortly after breakfast. With him was Mr. Caw-Caw, the black crow gentleman. Do you think your automobile will go all right now? asked the crow, as he looked down from his seat at the big wheels which had German sausages around for tires. So in case old Percival, the circus dog, got hungry, he could eat one for lunch. Oh yes, it will go all right now, said the rabbit gentleman, especially since we have had it fixed. I think, if I am not mistaken, and in case the cat has not eaten up all the bacon, that I told you in the story before this one how Uncle Wigley had been advised by Dr. Possum to go travelling around for his health, and how he had started off in the auto. Did I tell you that? He met Mr. Caw-Caw, and the tinkle in column on the auto broke, or else it was the whittle waddle um. Anyhow it wouldn't go, and old dog Percival, coming along, pulled the machine to the fixing place. Then Uncle Wigley and Mr. Caw-Caw slept all night, and now it was daylight again, and they had started off once more. It is a lovely morning, said Uncle Wigley, as he drove the machine over the fields and through the woods. A lovely spring day. But we may get an April shower before night, said Mr. Caw-Caw, the crow gentleman, who had black feathers, and who was always sad instead of being happy. Oh, dear! I'm sure it will rain, he said. Nonsensicalness, cried Uncle Wigley, swinging his ears around, just like some circus-balloons trying to get away from an elephant eating peanuts. Cheer up! Be happy! Well, if it doesn't rain, it will snow, said the sad crow. Oh, cheer up, said Uncle Wigley, as he took another bite of the turnip steering wheel. Have a nipple, he went on politely. It may only blow. I'm sure it will do something, spoke the gloomy crow. Anyhow, I don't care for turnip. Have some corn, then, said Uncle Wigley. Is it popped? asked the crow. No, but I can pop it, said the old gentleman rabbit. I will pop it on my automobile engine, which gets very hot, almost like a gas stove. So, the old rabbit gentleman, who was riding around in his auto to take exercise because he was getting too fat, and Dr. Possum had said so, popped the corn on the hot engine, and very good it was, too, for the crow to eat. But even the popcorn could not seem to make the unhappy crow feel better, and he cried so much as the auto went along, that his tears made a mud puddle in the road where they happened to be just then. And the auto wheels, with the German baloney sausages on for tires, splashed in the mud and made it fly all over like anything. Then, just as Uncle Wigley steered the auto right away from the road into a nice green wood where the leaves were just coming out on the trees, the old gentleman rabbit heard someone saying, oh dear, oh dear me, I know I'll never be at school on time, oh what a bad accident! My! cried Uncle Wigley, what can that be? Oh, something dreadful you may be sure, said Mr. Kaka, the crow gentleman. Oh, I just knew something would happen on this trip. Well, let it happen, said Uncle Wigley. I like things to happen. This seems to be someone in trouble, and I'm going to help whoever it is. Then please help me, said the voice. Who are you? asked Uncle Wigley. I am the Lady Mouse school teacher, said someone they could not see. On my way to school I ran a thorn in my foot, so I cannot walk. If I am not there on time to open the school, the children will not know what to do. Oh, isn't it terrible? Say no more, cried Uncle Wigley cheerfully. You shall ride to school in my auto. Then you will be there on time, and the animal children will not have to go home and miss their lessons. I am so glad I can help you. Isn't it horribly jolly to help people? cried Uncle Wigley to the crow, just as an English rabbit might have done. Ha! It's jolly all right, if you can help them, said the crow. But I'm sure something will happen.  Nonsensicalness, cried Uncle Wigley, real exasperated like, which means bothered.  So the Lady Mouse school teacher got in the auto and sat beside Mr. Caw-Caw, who asked her how many six and seven grains of corn were. Thirteen, said the nice Mouse school teacher. Thirteen in winter, spoke the crow. But I mean in summer. Six and seven are thirteen in summer, just as in winter, said the Lady Mouse. Wrong, croaked the crow. If you plant thirteen grains of corn in summer, you'll get thirteen stalks, each with thirteen ears of corn on, and each ear has five hundred and sixty-three grains, and thirteen times thirteen times five hundred and sixty-three makes how many does it make? he asked of Uncle Wigley suddenly. Oh, please stop! cried the Lady Mouse school teacher. You make my headache. How much is one headache and two headaches? asked the crow, who seemed quite curious. Stop, stop! cried Uncle Wigley as he took a bite out of the turnip steering wheel. You will make the auto turn a summer salt. How much, said the crow, is one summer salt and one pepper salt added to a mustard plaster and divided by— There you go! suddenly cried Uncle Wigley as the auto hit a stone and stopped. You've made the plunkety-plunk bite the whizzy wazzy. Oh, dear! cried the crow. I knew something would happen. Well, it was your fault, cried Uncle Wigley. Now I'll have to get the auto fixed again. Can't we go on to the school? asked the Lady Mouse teacher anxiously. No, I am sorry to say we cannot, said Uncle Wigley. Then I shall be late and the children will all run home after all. Oh, dear! I knew something, began the crow. Stop it! cried Uncle Wigley, provoked like. The Lady Mouse school teacher did not know what to do, but it looked as if she would be late. For even when Uncle Wigley had crawled under the auto and had put pepper on the German sausage tires, he could not make the machine go. But just as the school teacher was going to be late, along came flying Dicky Chipp-Chip, the sparrow boy, with his new airship. And in the airship he gave the Lady Mouse school teacher a ride to school, up above the tree tops, so she was not late after all. She called a good-bye to Uncle Wigley, who sometime afterward had his auto fixed again. And then he and the crow gentlemen went on and had more adventures. What the next one was, I'll tell you on the next page, when the story will be about Uncle Wigley and the candy. That is, if a little Montclair girl named Cora doesn't eat too much peanut brittle, and get her hair so sticky that the brush can't comb it. End of Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Of Uncle Wigley's Automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Jude Summers Uncle Wigley's Automobile By Howard R. Garris Chapter 3 Uncle Wigley and the Candy Uncle Wigley, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was riding along in his automobile, with a turnip for a steering wheel, and big fat German baloney sausages on for tires. On the seat beside Uncle Wigley was the crow gentleman named Mr. Kaka.  Where will I go? repeated Uncle Wigley, as he steered to one side so he would not run over a stone and hurt it. Well, to tell you the truth, I hardly know. Dr. Possum, when he told me to ride around for my health, because I was getting too fat, did not say where I was to go, in particular. Then let's go straight ahead, said the crow. I don't like going around in a circle. It makes me dizzy. And it does me also, spoke the rabbit gentleman. That is why I never ride much on a merry-go-round, though I often take Johnny or Billy Bushtail, my squirrel nephews, or Buddy and Bright Eyes, the guinea pig children, on one for a little while. But, Mr. Crow, we will go straight ahead in my auto, and we will see what adventure happens to us next. For you know, something was always happening to Uncle Wigley, as he traveled around. Sometimes it was one thing, and sometimes another. You remember, I daresay, how the day before he had nearly helped to keep the nice lady mouse school teacher from being late. Well, pretty soon, as Uncle Wigley and the Crow gentlemen were riding in the auto, all at once they looked down the road, and saw a little girl sitting on a stone. She had a box in her hands, and she was trying to open it. But she was crying so hard that she could not see out of her eyes, because of her tears, and so she could not open the box. My goodness me, sakes alive, and some roast-beef gravy! cried Uncle Wigley as he stopped the auto. What can be the matter with that child?  Then the old gentleman rabbit blew on the cow's horn that was on his auto to warn people kindly to get out of danger, and the cow's horn went moo, moo, moo, very softly, three times just like that. The little girl looked up through her tears, and when she saw Uncle Wigley and the Crow gentlemen in the auto, she smiled and asked, Where is the mooly cow? Only her horn is here, said Uncle Wigley, as he made it go moo again. Oh, dear, said the little girl, I just love a mooly cow, and she was going to cry some more, because there was no cow to be seen, when Uncle Wigley asked, What is the matter? Why are you crying?  What is in the box? asked the rabbit gentleman. Candy, said little Cora, I just love candy, and I haven't had any in ever so long. Now my papa gave me a box, but the string is tied on it so tightly that I can't get the box open, and my papa went away and forgot about it. Oh, dear, moo, moo, can you open it for me, Uncle Wigley? The rabbit gentleman thought for a moment. Then he said, with a twinkle in his eye, that matched the twinkle in his nose. Well, possibly I might untie the string, but you see my teeth are so big and sharp, and are so used to gnawing wood and bark and carrots, and I can't see very well, even with my glasses, so I might accidentally, when I bite through the string, I might, by mistake, also bite through the box and eat the candy myself. Oh, dear, cried the little girl. Then she added quickly, as she thought of her polite manners. I wouldn't mind, Uncle Wigley, if you did eat some of the candy. Only, open the box for me so I can get part of it, she said. I think I have a better plan than that, said the old gentleman rabbit. I will ask Mr. Kaka, our crow friend here, to untie the string for you. With his sharp bill this crow gentleman can easily loosen the knot, and that too without danger of breaking the box and taking any candy. Will he do it? asked the little girl eagerly. To be sure I will, said the crow gentleman, and he loosened that knot then and there with his sharp bill, which seemed just made for such things. Oh, what lovely candy! cried the little girl, as she took the cover off the box. I am going to give you each sum, she added. And she gave Mr. Kaka some candy flavored with green corn, for he liked that best of all. And to Uncle Wigley she gave some nice, soft, squishy squashy candy, with a carrot inside. And the little girl ate some chocolate candy for herself, and did not cry any more.  Perhaps we may have an adventure. Oh, I just love adventures, said little Cora. I love them even better than candy. But we can eat candy in the auto anyway, she went on, with a laugh, as she climbed up in the seat. Then Uncle Wigley turned on the tinkerum tankerum, and with a feather tickled the whizzicum wasicum to make the auto go, and it went. The old rabbit gentleman made the cow's horn blow moo, moo, and away they started off through the woods. They had not gone very far, and Cora had eaten only about six pieces of candy. When they heard a voice behind them shouting, wait for me, wait for me, I want a ride. Ha! called the crow. Who can that be? A look, said Uncle Wigley, and he did. Then he exclaimed, oh dear, it's the circus elephant, and he's grown so big lately that if he gets in with us, he will break my auto. Don't let him do it, then, said Mr. Caca. I don't believe I will, said Uncle Wigley. But would it be polite not to give him a ride? asked the little girl, as she ate another piece of candy. No, you're right, it would not, said Uncle Wigley decidedly. I must give him a ride, but he's sure to break my auto, and then I can't ride around for my health any more, and stop getting fat.  A predicament means trouble, you know. Then the elephant called again. I say, hold on there, I want a ride! and he came on as fast as anything. Uncle Wigley was going to stop and let the big creature get in, when the crow gentleman said, I have it! Well, pretend we didn't hear him! We'll keep right on, and not stop, and then it won't be impolite, for he will think we didn't listen to what he said. That's it, said Uncle Wigley. We'll do that. Pachy is the dearest old chap in the world, you know, but he really is too big for this auto. Pachy was the elephant's name, you see. So Uncle Wigley made the auto go faster, and still the elephant ran after it, calling, He's catching up to us, said the crow, looking back. Oh dear, cried Uncle Wigley, what's to be done? I know what to do, spoke Cora. I'll drop some pieces of candy in the road for him, and when he stops to eat them, we can get so far away he can't catch up to us. Please do, begged Uncle Wigley, and the little girl did. And when the elephant saw the pieces of candy, being very fond of sweet things, he stopped to pick them up in his trunk and eat them. And it took him quite a while, for the candy was well scattered about. And when the elephant had eaten the last piece, Uncle Wigley and the crow, and little girl, were far off in the auto, and the elephant could not catch them to break the machine. Even though, if he had smashed it, he would not have meant to do so. So Uncle Wigley rode on, looking for more adventures, and soon he found one. I'll tell you about it in the next story, which will be called Uncle Wigley at the Squirrel House. That is, if the clothes-ringer doesn't squeeze the rubber ball, so it cries, and makes water come in the eyes of the potatoes. End of Chapter 3 Uncle Wigley, the nice old gentleman rabbit, was standing one day in front of his new automobile, which had run away with him, upsetting and breaking one of the wheels. But it had been fixed all right again. I think this automobile will go fine now, said Uncle Wigley to himself, as he got up on the front seat. Now I am ready to start off on some more travels, and in search of more adventures, and this time I won't have to walk. Now, let me see. Do I turn on the fizzle-fazzle first, or the twinkum-twinkum? I forget. So he looked carefully all over the automobile to see if he could remember what first to turn to make it go. But he couldn't think what it was. Because, you see, he was all excited over his accident. I didn't tell you that story because I thought it might make you cry. It was very sad. The crow-gentleman flew away after it. I guess I'll have to look in the cookbook, said Uncle Wigley. Perhaps that will tell me what to do. So he took out a cookbook from under the seat, and left it over until he came to the page where it tells how to cook automobiles. And there he found what he wanted to know. Ha! I see! cried Uncle Wigley. First I must twist the dinkum-dinkum, and then I must tickle the tittle-come-tattle-come, and then I'll go. Well, he did this, and just as he was about to start off on his journey, out came running Sammy and Susie Little-Tale, the two rabbit children with whom Uncle Wigley sometimes lived. Oh, Uncle Wigley! cried Susie. Where are you going? And may we come along, asked Sammy, making his nose twinkle like two stars on a night in June. I'm going off on a long journey for my health, and to look for more adventures. Said the old gentleman rabbit. I am tired of staying around the house, taking medicine for my rheumatism. So Dr. Possum told me to travel around. I don't know just where I'm going, but I'm going somewhere. And if you like, you may come part of the way. Hop in! Sammy and Susie hopped in the back part of the auto, where there were two little seats for them. And then Uncle Wigley turned the wisdom-come- wism-come around backward, and away they went, as nicely as the baby creeps over the floor to catch the kitty by the tail. Only you mustn't do that, you know. Indeed not. Oh, isn't this great! cried Susie in delight. It certainly is, agreed Sammy, blinking his pink eyes, because the wind blew in them. I hope Uncle Wigley has an adventure while we're with him. And then, all of a sudden, a doggy ran across the road in front of the auto, and the doggy's tail was hanging down behind him and sticking out quite a bit. And as it was quite a long tail, Uncle Wigley nearly ran over it. But, of course, he didn't mean to, even if he had done it. Look out of the way, little doggy! cried the old gentleman rabbit kindly. I'm looking as fast as I can! cried the doggy. And he ran to the sidewalk as quickly as he could, and then he turned around to see if his tail was still fastened to him. That came near being an adventure, said Susie, waving her pocket handkerchief. Yes, almost too near, said Uncle Wigley. I think I will go through the woods instead of along the streets, and then I won't be in any danger of running over anyone. So he steered the auto toward the woodland road, and Sammy cried, Oh, I know what, let's do. Let's go call on Johnny and Billy Bushetail, the squirrel boys. Then we'll have some fun. All right, we'll do it, agreed Uncle Wigley, for he liked fun as much as the children did, if not more. Well, as they were going along the road, all of a sudden they heard a little voice calling to them. Oh, please don't run over me! the voice cried. Please be careful. And looking down, Sammy saw a little black cricket on the path just ahead of the auto, which Uncle Wigley was now making go very slowly. Why don't you get out of the way if you don't want to be run over? asked Susie politely, for the cricket just stood still there, looking at them, and to not making a move. Oh, I'm so stiff from the cold that I can't hop about anymore, said the cricket, or else I would hop out of the way. You know I can't stand cold weather. That's too bad, said Uncle Wigley as he stopped the auto.  So the old gentleman rabbit kindly picked up the cold and stiff cricket and gave it to Susie, and Susie gently put it in the warm pocket of her jacket, and there it was so nice and cozy-ozy that the cricket went fast to sleep. And then, in about forty-eleven squeak-squawk-toots of the big mooly cow automobile horn, there they were at the home of Johnny and Billy Bushetail, the squirrel brothers. Toot toot, tooted Uncle Wigley on his tooter-tooter mooly cow horn. There, I guess that will bring out the boys if they are in the house, said the old gentleman rabbit. And then, all of a sudden, something happened. Susie and Sammy were looking at the front door, expecting Johnny and Billy to come out, when Susie saw a great big bear's face up at one window of the squirrel house. Oh, look! Look! She cried. The bear has gotten in, and maybe he has bitten Johnny. And just then, Sammy looked at the other window, and he saw a wolf's face peering out. Oh, dear! cried Sammy. The wolf has gotten Billy! My gracious! exclaimed Uncle Wigley. I'm going for the police right away. Hold on tightly, children, for I'm going to twist a tinker-come tanker-come and make this automobile go very fast. Oh, how sorry I am for poor Johnny and Billy! But just before Uncle Wigley could start the auto, there was a shout of laughter. The front door of the Bushetail home swung open and out rushed Billy and Johnny jumping and skipping.  Ho, ho! they shouted together. Did we scare you, Uncle Wigley? We didn't mean to, but we were just practicing. Was that you boys looking out of the windows with your false faces on? asked Uncle Wigley very much surprised like. That was us, said Johnny. And wasn't there a real bear? asked Susie, flapping her ears. And wasn't it a real wolf? asked Sammy, wiggling his paws. Not a bit, said Billy. We're just getting ready for Halloween tomorrow night. And those were our false faces, you know. And I wish you'd all stay with us and have some fun. We will, said Uncle Wigley. I'll put my auto in the barn and we'll stay. So they did.  And of Chapter Four Chapter Five of Uncle Wigley's Automobile This is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Anita Sloma Martinez Uncle Wigley's Automobile by Howard R. Garris Chapter Five Uncle Wigley's Halloween Fun Oh dear, I wish it were night, said Susie Little Tail. So do I, exclaimed Sammy, her brother. Then it would be Halloween. And both of us wish the same things, said Johnny Bushy Tail, as he and his brother Billy went skipping about the room of their house. Oh, don't wish so hard, or night might come before I'm ready for it, said Uncle Wigley Long Years, the old gentleman-rabbit. I've got to decorate my auto yet and get my fall space, you know. What kind are you going to have, asked Susie? Oh, I think I'll dress up like an elephant, said Uncle Wigley. But what will you do for a trunk, asked Mrs. Bushy Tail? For you see, Uncle Wigley and Sammy and Susie had stayed at the squirrel's house to have some fun. This was the first place the old gentleman-rabbit came to, after starting out in his auto for his help, and after some fresh adventures. What will you do for an elephant's trunk, asked Mrs. Bushy Tail? I will take a long stocking and stuff it full of soft cotton, so it will look just like an elephant's face, said Uncle Wigley. Then I'll go out with the children in my auto, and we'll have a lot of fun. So all that day they got ready for the Halloween fun they were to have that night. Johnny and Billy had their fall spaces, you remember. Johnny had a wolf's face and Billy a bear's, and they were too cute for anything.  I think I'll dress up like a wild Indian, said Sammy, at last. And I'm going to be a pussycat, said Susie. And if any dogs chase you all growl at them and scare them away, said Billy, who is going to be a make-believe bear. Yes, and I'll tickle them with my stuffed stocking elephant's trunk, said Uncle Wigley. Now I must go out and put some oil and gasoline in my auto, and see that the frizzle-frazle works all right, so we can go Halloween riding tonight. Finally the animal children were all ready, and they were waiting for it to get dark so they could go out. And pretty soon after supper, when the sun had gone to bed, it did get dark. Then the four animal children and Uncle Wigley went out in the auto. Say, I just wish you could have seen them, really I do. And I'd show you a picture of them, only I'm not allowed to do that. And besides, it was too dark to see pictures well, so perhaps it doesn't much matter. Oh, but they were the funny-looking sides, though. Billy Bushytale acted like a real bear, growling as hard as ever he could, though, of course, he was polite about it, as it was only fun. And what a savage make-believe wolf Johnny was. And there was Susie, as cute a little pussy-cat as one would meet with in going from here to the moon and back. And as for Sammy, well, say, he was so much like a real undead that when he looked in the glass, he was framed at himself. Yes, really he was. And he had truly feathers on, too, not make-believe ones either. Uncle Wigley was dressed up like an elephant, and he sat in the front of the auto to steer it. Only his stuffed stocking trunk got in the way of the steering wheel, so Uncle Wigley had to put it behind him over his left shoulder and have Susie hold it. I mean, she held his stuffed stocking trunk, not the steering wheel, you know. Here we go!  Then he twisted the tinkerum, tinkerum, and away they went in the automobile. All at once, from around a corner, came a big clown with red, white, and blue all over his face. He had a rattly bang-banger thing, and he was making a terrible racket on it. Oh, I know who that is, cried Susie. You're Jimmy Wibblewobble, the boy duck. That's right, said the clown, making more noise than ever. Along went the auto, and by this time there were a whole lot of animal children, prancing and dancing around it. Uncle Wigley had to make the auto go real slowly, so as not to hurt any of them, but they were all over the streets.  Bright-Eyes Pig had on a cow's-fall space, and Billy Goat was dressed up like a Chinaman, while Nanny his sister was supposed to be a lady with a sealed skin coat on. Oh, I couldn't tell you how all the different animal children were dressed, but I'll just say that Bully the Frog, with his tall hat, was dressed like a football player. An antletty, the nice old lady goat, made believe she was a fireman, and much she trot was a pretend policeman, and such fun as they had. Uncle Wigley steered the auto here and there, and squeaked and squawked his tooter-teeter, so no one would get hurt. There were about forty-eleven tin horns being blown, and the wooden rattling bang-bangs were rattling all over, and someone threw a whole lot of prettily-colored paper in the air, until it looked as if it were raining red, pink, green, purple, blue, yellow, and skilly-gimmick colored snow. And then all at once, out from the crowd, came a figure that looked like a bear. Oh, it was very real looking with long teeth and shaggy fur, and that bear came right up to the auto that Uncle Wigley was steering. I've come to get you, growled the bear away down in his throat. Oh, he's almost real, exclaimed Susie, and she forgot that she was holding Uncle Wigley's stuffed stocking trunk and let go of it, so that it hung down in front of him. I am a real bear, growled the shaggy creature.  You're jack-o or jumbo kinky-tail dressed up like a bear, just as my brother Billy is. You can't fool us. But I am a real bear, growled the shaggy creature again, and I'm hungry, so I'm going to bite Uncle Wigley. And would you ever believe it? He was a real bear who would come in from the woods. He made a grab for Uncle Wigley, but the old gentleman rabbit leaned far back in his auto seat, and the bear only got hold of the stuffed stocking trunk. And then the bear pulled on that so hard that it came all apart and the cotton stuffing came out and got up the bear's nose and made him sneeze.  My, it's a good thing I didn't have on a real elephant's trunk, said Uncle Wigley, or that bear would have bitten it off for real trunks or fasten on tight. Yes, indeed, said Susie, so after everybody got over being scared at the real bear, they had a lot of fun, and Uncle Wigley took all the children to his store and treated them to hot chocolate, and then he and Sammy and Susie and Billy and Johnny went home in the auto and went to bed, and Uncle Wigley had another adventure next day. I'll tell you about it on the page after this, when in case it doesn't rain lightning bugs down the chimney, this story will be about Uncle Wigley going chestnutting. End of Chapter Five Chapter Six of Uncle Wigley's Automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. According by Jennifer Painter, Uncle Wigley's Automobile by Howard R. Garris Chapter Six Uncle Wigley goes chestnutting. Where are you going this morning, Uncle Wigley? Asked Johnny Bushy Tale of the Old Gentleman Rabbit the day after the Halloween fun. Oh, I'm going to take a ride and see if I can find any more adventures, said Uncle Wigley, as he went out in the barn to look and see if his auto had any holes in the rubber tires, or if the whatchamacallit had gotten twisted around the who's this cantankerum. May I go with you? Asked Billy Bushy Tale as he followed Uncle Wigley. We don't want you to go away from our house so soon. We'd like to have you pay us a nice, long visit. Hmm, well, I'll think about it, said Uncle Wigley, slowly and carefully. I'll stay as long as I can. But as for you squirrel boys going for a ride in my auto, why? I guess you may come if your mama will let you. Yes, it's all ready for a spin, he went on, as he saw that the tiddletaddlem was on straight and that the wheels had no holes in them. Oh, goodie, come on! cried Billy to Johnny, so into the house they hurried to ask their mama, and she said they might go.  Are you going off in the woods? asked Johnny, as he saw the old gentleman rabbit steering towards the tree forest. I think I will, answered Uncle Wigley. I want to see grandfather Goosey Gander, and if we go through the woods, that is the shortest way to his house. Perhaps we can stop and gather some chestnuts, said Johnny. There may be a few left that the other squirrels haven't yet picked up, and I heard Papa saying to mama the other night, that we need a whole lot more than we have, so we wouldn't be hungry this winter. Oh yes, let's get chestnuts, cried Billy. All right, answered Uncle Wigley smiling, and then he had to turn the auto to one side very quickly, for a fuzzy worm was hurrying along the path, on her way to the grocery store, and Uncle Wigley didn't want to run over her, you know, much for not squashing me flat like a pancake, said the worm as she wiggled along. Oh, pray do not mention such a little thing, said Uncle Wigley politely. I am always glad to do you a favour like that. Then he turned the handle, so some more gasoline would squirt into the Pizzle Fossilium, and away the automobile went faster than ever. Pretty soon they came to the woods, and Johnny and Billy began looking about for chestnut trees. Squirrels, you know, can tell a chestnut tree a great way off, and soon Johnny saw one. Stop the auto here, Uncle Wigley, said Johnny, and we'll see if there are any chestnuts left. So the old gentleman rabbit did this, and surely enough, there were quite a few of the brown nuts lying on the ground, partly covered with leaves. Take a stick and poke around and you'll find more, said Billy to his brother, and pretty soon all three of them, including Uncle Wigley, were picking up the nuts. Of course, the automobile couldn't pick any up, it just had to stand still there, looking on. I guess you know that anyhow, but I just thought I'd mention it to make sure. Oh, here is another tree over there, cried Johnny after a while, as he ran to a large one. It's got heaps and heaps of chestnuts under it too. I guess no squirrels or any chipmunks have been here. We can get lots of nuts to put away for winter. So the two squirrel boys filled their pockets with nuts, and so did Uncle Wigley. And they even put some in the automobile though, of course, the auto couldn't eat them, but it could carry them away. And then all of a sudden Billy cried, Oh, I know what let's do. Let's build a little fire and roast some of the chestnuts. They are fine roasted. I guess they are, said Uncle Wigley. And so we'll cook some though. As for me, I'd rather have a roast carrot or a bit of baked apple. Maybe we can find some apples to bake while we're roasting the chestnuts. Said Billy, we'll look. They looked all around, and in a field not far from the woods, they found an apple tree. And there were some apples on the ground under it.  Uncle Wigley lighted it, for it isn't good for children to have anything to do with matches.  Now put the chestnuts down to roast on the hot stones, said the rabbit gentleman after a bit to the two squirrel boys. And I'll put some apples on a sharp stick and hold them near the blaze to roast. Why, boys, this is as much fun for me as a picnic. He exclaimed joyfully. But listen, something is going to happen. All of a sudden, as they were sitting quietly around the fire and wishing the apples and chestnuts would hurry up and roast, all of a sudden a man came along with a gun. He stood by the fence that went around the field where they had picked up the apples, and that man said in a grillery, growlery voice, aha, so those squirrels and that rabbit have been taking my apples, eh? I can smell them, sniff, sniff, snuff. Well, I'll soon put a stop to that. I'm glad I brought my gun along. He was just aiming his gun at poor Uncle Wigley and also at Johnny and Billy Bushy Tale. And the rabbit and the squirrels didn't know what in the world to do, for they were too frightened to run when, all of a sudden, there was a tremendously loud bang bang in the fire, and something flew out of it and hit that man right on the end of his nose. Ouch, ouchy! The man cried, went something again, and this time it flew over and hit the man on his left ear. Now what do you think of that? Ouch, ouchy! The man yelled again, bang! He made the noise for the third shot, and this time the man was hit on his other ear. Ouch, ouchy! He cried again, they're shooting at me, I'd better run! And run away he did, taking his gun with him. And so Uncle Wigley and Johnny and Billy weren't hurt. If that was a narrow escape, said Johnny, what was it that made the bang noise and hit the man? It was the roast chestnuts, said Uncle Wigley. I forgot to tell you to make little holes in them before you roasted them, or else they would burst, and burst they did. And I'm glad of it, for they scared that man, but I guess we had better be going now, but he may come back. So they took the apples, which were nicely roasted now, and they took the chestnuts that were left and which hadn't burst, and away they went in the auto and had a fine ride before going home to bed. And now I'll say good night. But in case the cow jumped over the moon, doesn't kick our milk bottles off the back stew, I'll tell you, in the story after this one, about Uncle Wigley and the pumpkin. End of Chapter 6. Chapter 7 of Uncle Wigley's automobile. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Nam Dodge. Uncle Wigley's automobile by Howard R. Garris. Chapter 7. Uncle Wigley and the Pumpkin. Well, said Uncle Wigley long years, one fine, fresh morning. Just after the milkman had been around to leave some cream for the coffee, I think I will be traveling on again, Mrs. Bushetail. Oh, don't go yet, big Billy, the boy squirrel. No, you haven't made us a long visit at all, spoke his brother Johnny. Can't you stay a long, long time? Well, I promised Jimmy Wibblewobble the boy duck that I would come in my new automobile, and pay him and his sisters a visit, said the old gentleman, as he wiggled first his left ear, and then the right one, to see if there were any pennies stuck in them. And he found two pennies, one for Johnny and one for Billy. Oh, please stay with us a few more days. You can go visit the Wibblewobble family next week, said Johnny. Can't he, mother? Yes, I really think you might stay with us a little longer, said Mrs. Bushetail, as she was mending some holes in Johnny's stocking. Besides, I thought you might do me a favor today, Uncle Wigley. A favor, exclaimed the old gentleman Rabbit, making a low bow. I am always anxious to do you a favor if I can. What is it, Mrs. Bushetail? Why, I thought you and the boys might like to go off in the automobile, and see if you could find me a nice, large yellow pumpkin, said the squirrel lady. Oh, good, he cried Billy, I know what for, to make a jack-o'-lantern for us, eh, mama? Sure, cried Johnny, jumping up and down because he was so happy, and we'll take it out after dark, Billy, and have some fun with bully the frog. Oh, no, not a pumpkin for a jack-o'-lantern, said Mrs. Bushetail. What I need a pumpkin for is to make some pies, and I thought you might like to get one, Uncle Wigley. Yes, indeed I would, exclaimed the old gentleman Rabbit. I am very fond of hunting pumpkins for pies, and also eating them after they are baked. I like pumpkin pie almost as much as I do cherry pie. Come on, boys, let's get into the auto, and we'll go look for a pumpkin. But don't go near that man's field who was going to shoot us the other day because we took a few apples, said Billy, and Uncle Wigley said he wouldn't, so Alte went to the barn where the auto was kept, leaving Mrs. Bushetail in the house, mending stockings, and getting ready to bake the pumpkin pies. Here we go, cried Uncle Wigley, when he had tickled the tinkerum-tinkerum with a feather to make it sneeze.  Pumpkin pie is mighty light. I eat it morning, noon, and night. It's very good to make you grow. That's why the boys all love it so. If I could have my dearest wish, I'd have some cherries in a dish, and then a pumpkin pie or two. Course I'd save a piece for you. Perhaps if we are good and kind, a dozen pumpkins we may find. We'll bring them home and stew them up, and then none pumpkin pie will sup. Well, after he had sung that song, Uncle Wigley felt better. The auto felt better also, I guess. For it ran along very fast, and all of a sudden they came to a place where there was a field of pumpkins. Oh, such lovely, large, golden, yellow pumpkins as they were. Hooray, cried Johnny. Woopty doodle-doo, cried Billy. Dear me, humza's dud, cried Uncle Wigley, it couldn't be better. But I wonder if these pumpkins would mind if we took one. Not in the lease, not in the lease, suddenly cried a voice near the fence, and, looking over, Uncle Wigley and the boy saw Grandfather Goosey Gander, the old gentleman duck, standing there on one leg. This is my field of pumpkins, said Grandfather Goosey, and you may take as many as you like. Then he put down his other leg, which he had been holding up under his feathers. Thank you very much, spoke Uncle Wigley politely, and may we each have a pumpkin to make a jack-o-lantern, asked Billy? To be sure, answered Grandfather Goosey. So Uncle Wigley took a very large pumpkin for a pie, and the boy's squirrels took smaller ones for their lanterns. Then Uncle Wigley took a few more, to be sure he would have plenty, but none was as large as the first one. I will send you some pumpkin pies when Mrs. Bushetail bakes them, promised the old gentleman rabbit, as he got ready to travel on with the boys in the auto. I wish you would, said Grandfather Goosey, as I am very fond of pumpkin pie, with watercress salad on top. On and on went the auto, and Billy and Johnny were talking about how they would make their jack-o-lanterns and have fun, when all of a sudden out from the bushes at the side of the road jumped the big bad savage wolf. Hold on there, he cried to Uncle Wigley. Stop, I want to see you. You want to bite me, I guess, said the old gentleman rabbit. No, sir, I'm not going to stop. Then I'll just make you, growled the wolf. And with that, what did he do but bite a hole in one of the big rubber tires, letting out all the wind with a puff, so the auto couldn't go any more? Now see what you've done, cried Johnny. Yes, and it was a nice new auto, too, said Billy sorrowfully. Fiddlesticks, cried the wolf. Double fiddlesticks, don't talk to me, I'm hungry. Get out of that auto now, so I can bite you. Oh, what shall we do, whispered Johnny?  Then he spoke to the savage creature, saying, if you are going to eat us up, I suppose you will. But first, would you mind taking one of these pumpkins down to the bottom of the hill, and leaving it there for Mrs. Bushtail to make a pie of?  Give me the pumpkin, but mind, don't try to run away, while I'm gone, for I can catch you.  All right, said Uncle Wigley, giving the wolf a little pumpkin and pretending to cry, to show that he was afraid. But he was only making believe, you see. Well, the wolf began to run down to the foot of the hill. Now, quick boy, suddenly cried Uncle Wigley, will roll the biggest pumpkin down after him, and it will hit him and make him as flat as a pancake. And then he can't eat us, lively now. So, surely enough, they took the big pumpkin out of the auto and rolled it down after the wolf. He heard it coming, and he tried to get out of the way. But he couldn't, because he was carrying another pumpkin. And he stumbled and fell down, and the big pumpkin rolled right over him, including his tail. And he was as flat as two pancakes, and part of another one. And he couldn't even eat a toothpick.  And they had plenty of pumpkin left for pies. And they were soon at the squirrel's house, safe and sound. So that's the end of the story. But on the next page, if the milk bottle doesn't roll down off the stoop and tickle the doormat, I'll tell you about Uncle Wigley and the pumpkin pie. End of Chapter 7 Chapter 8 of Uncle Wigley's Automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Nan Dodge Uncle Wigley's Automobile by Howard R. Garris Chapter 8 Uncle Wigley's Jack-o'-lantern I really think I must be traveling on today, said Uncle Wigley, a nice old gentleman rabbit, one bright morning when he had gone out to the bush-tail barn to see if there were any slivers sticking in the rubber tires of his automobile. I have been here quite a while now, boys, and I want to pay a visit to some of my other friends, he added. Oh, please don't think of going beg Johnny Bush-tail the boy's squirrel.  Johnny and I are going to make Jack-o'-lanterns tonight from the pumpkin you got us, and you may help if you like. Oh, that'll be fine, said Uncle Wigley. I suppose I really must stay another night, but after that I shall have to be traveling along, for I have many more friends to visit, and only today I had a letter from Jimmy Wibblewobble, the duck boy, asking when I was coming to see him. Well, never mind about that. Let's get to work at making Jack-o'-lanterns now, and not wait for tonight, suggested Johnny. We'll make three lanterns, one for Uncle Wigley, and one for each of us. So they sat down on benches out in the backyard, where the pumpkin seeds wouldn't do any harm. And they began to make the lanterns, and this is how you do it. First you cut a little round hole in the top of the pumpkin, the part where the stem is, you know. And then you scoop out the soft inside where all the seeds are, and you can save the seeds to make more pumpkins grow next year, if you like.  If you can't do it yourselves, perhaps some of the big folks will help you. So that's how the squirrel boys and Uncle Wigley made their Jack-o'-lanterns, and when they were all finished, they put a lighted candle inside, and say, my goodness, it looked just like a real person grinning at you. Only, of course, it wasn't. Won't we have fun tonight, exclaimed Johnny, as he finished his lantern. We certainly will, said Billy, dancing a little jig. What are you going to do with your lantern, Uncle Wigley? asked Johnny. Oh, I don't know, answered the old gentleman rabbit. I may take it with me on my travels. Well, after the three lanterns were made, there was still plenty of time before it would be dark, so Uncle Wigley and the boys made some more lanterns, and along came Lulu and Alice and Jimmy Wibblewobble, the Duck Children, and as they had no Jack-o'-lanterns of their own, Johnny gave Lulu one, and Billy gave Alice one, and Uncle Wigley gave Jimmy one. And, my, you should have seen how pleased those Duck Children were. It was worth going across the street just to look at their smiling faces. Well, pretty soon after a while, not so very long, it was supper time, and there was pumpkin pie and carrot sandwiches and lettuce salad, and things like that for Uncle Wigley, and nut cake and nut candy and nut sandwiches for the squirrels. Uncle Wigley was folding up his napkin, and he was just getting out of his chair to go in the parlor and read the paper with Mr. Bushy-tail, when all of a sudden there came a knock on the front door. My goodness, I wonder who that can be, exclaimed Mrs. Bushy-tail. I'll go see, spoke her husband, and when he went to the door there was kind old Mrs. Hop-toad on the mat, wiping her feet. Oh, is Uncle Wigley long ears here, asked Mrs. Toad? If he is, tell him to come back to the rabbit-house at once, for Sammy Little-tail is very sick, and they can't get him to sleep, and the nurse thinks if he heard one of Uncle Wigley's stories he would shut his eyes and rest. I'll come right away, said Uncle Wigley, for he had gone to the front door also, and had heard what Mrs. Hop-toad had said. Wait until I get on my hat and coat, and I'll crank up my automobile and go see Sammy, said the rabbit gentleman. I won't wait, said Mrs. Toad. I'll hop on ahead and tell them you're coming. Anyhow, it gives me the two oodles to ride in an auto.  Just as he was going, Billy Bushy-tail cried out, Oh, Uncle Wigley, take a jack-o-lantern with you, and maybe Sammy will like that. So the old gentleman rabbit took one of the pumpkin lanterns up on the seat with him, and away he went. And then all at once, as he was going through a dark place in the woods, in his auto, the wind suddenly blew out all his lanterns, all the oil lamps on the auto, I mean, and right away after that a policeman dog cried out, Hey there, Mr. Long Ears, you can't go on in your auto without a light, you know. It's against the law. I know it is, said Uncle Wigley, I'll light the lamps at once. But when he tried to do it, he found there was no more oil in them. Oh, what shall I do, he cried. I'm in a hurry to get to Sammy Little-tail, who is sick, but I can't go in the dark. Ah, I have it. The jack-o-lantern. I'll light the candle in that and keep on going. Will that be all right, Mr. Policeman? Sure it will, said the policeman dog, swinging his club, and wishing he was home in bed. So Uncle Wigley lighted the jack-o-lantern, and it was real bright, and soon the old gentleman rabbit was speeding on again, and all of a sudden out from the bushes jumped a burglar fox. Hold on there, he cried to Uncle Wigley, I want all your money. And just then he saw the big pumpkin jack-o-lantern, with its staring eyes and big mouth and sharp teeth, looking at him from the seat of the auto, and the fox was so scared, thinking it was a giant going to catch him, that he ran off in the woods howling and he didn't bother Uncle Wigley a bit more that night. Then the old gentleman rabbit drove his auto on toward Sammy's house, and he was soon there and he told Sammy a funny story, and gave him the jack-o-lantern, and the little rabbit boy was soon asleep, and in the morning he was all better. So that's what the jack-o-lantern did for Uncle Wigley and Sammy, and now if you please you must go to bed. And on the page after this, in case the basket of peaches doesn't fall down the cellar stairs and break the furnace door all to pieces, I'll tell you about Uncle Wigley and the lazy duck. End of chapter 8 Chapter 9 of Uncle Wigley's automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org. Uncle Wigley's Automobile by Howard R. Garris Chapter 9 Uncle Wigley and the Lazy Duck The day after Uncle Wigley had scared the bad burglar fox with a jack-o-lantern, the old rabbit gentleman and Lulu and Alice and Jimmy Wibblewobble went for a little ride in the automobile. For it was Saturday, you see, and there was no school, so they went along quite a distance over the hills and through the woods and fields. For Uncle Wigley's auto was a sort of ferry machine, it could go almost anywhere. Pretty soon they came to a little house beside the road and in the front yard was a nice pub where you could get a drink of water. I'm very thirsty, said Uncle Wigley to Jimmy. I wonder if we could get a drink here. Oh yes, said Lulu as she looked to see if her hair ribbon was on straight, a duck family lives here and they will give you all the water you want. Right after that, before Uncle Wigley could get out of the auto to pump some water, there came waddling out of the duck house a duck boy about as big as Jimmy.  May we get a drink of water here?  Why, I wonder what is the matter with him, asked Uncle Wigley. Why does he act so strangely and speak so slow? I can tell you, exclaimed Lulu, and she got down out of the auto and picked up a stone. That duck boy is lazy, that's what's the matter with him. He never even wants to play. While at school, he hardly ever knows his lessons.  I never heard of such a thing. Pray, what is his name? It's Fizzy Wizzy, said Jimmy, who also knew the boy. Why, what a strange name, exclaimed the rabbit gentleman. Why do they call him that? Because he is so fond of Fizzy as he's out of water, said Alice. Oh, let's go along, Uncle Wigley. No, said the rabbit gentleman slowly, if this is a lazy duck boy, he should be cured. Laziness is worse than the measles or whooping cough, I think. And as I am very thirsty, I want a drink. Then I will think of some plan to cure this boy duck of being lazy. So Uncle Wigley went close up to the boy duck and called out loud, right in his ear, so as to awaken him. Will you please get me a cup so I may get a drink of water? Hey, what's that?   You had better go in the house and get it for yourself, and then he was going to sleep again. But all of a sudden his mother, who worked very hard at washing and ironing, came to the door and said, oh dear, if Fizzy Wizzy hasn't gone to sleep again, wake up at once, Fizzy, and get me some wood for the fire, quick. Oh, ma, I am too tired, said Fizzy Wizzy. I will do it tomorrow. Oh, so, and he was asleep once more. Oh, I never saw such a lazy boy in all my life, exclaimed the duck boy's mother, and she was very much ashamed of him. I don't know what to do. Do you want me to make him better, said Uncle Wigley? Indeed I do, but I'm afraid you can't, she said. Yes, I can't, said Uncle Wigley. I'll come back here this evening and I'll cure him. First let me get a drink of water and then I'll think of a way to do it. So the duck lady herself brought out a cup so Uncle Wigley and Lulu and Alice and Jimmy could get a drink from the pump, and all the while the lazy chap slept on. How are you going to cure him, Uncle Wigley? asked Jimmy when they were riding along in the auto once more. I will show you, said the old gentleman, Robin, and you children must help me, for to be lazy is a dreadful thing.  Then he and the wibble-wobble children got in and they went to the house of the lazy boy duck. Is he in, asked Uncle Wigley of the boy's mama? Yes, she said in a whisper. Well, when I throw a pebble against the kitchen window, tell him to come out and see who's here, one on the rabbit, gentleman. Then he opened the package and in it were four false faces, one of a fox, one of a wolf, one of a bear, and one was of an alligator. And Uncle Wigley put on the alligator false face, gave the bear one to Jimmy, the fox one to Alice, and the wolf one to Lulu. Then he gave Jimmy a handful of beans and he gave Alice a rubber ball filled with water to squirt and Lulu the same. They knew what to do with them.   Go and see who is there, said the duck boy's mama to him. I don't want to, the lazy chap was just saying, but he suddenly became very curious and thought he would just take a peep out, and no sooner had he opened the door and stepped on the warm stones that he began to run down the yard. For he was afraid if he stood still he would be burned. And then as he ran, up popped Uncle Wigley from behind the bushes, looking like an alligator with a false face on.  Then up jumped Jimmy looking like a bear with a false face on and up popped Lulu looking like a wolf and Alice looking like a fox.  Then Alice and Lulu squirted water at him from their rubber balls. Oh, it's raining. It's raining, cried the boy duck and he ran faster than before. Then Jimmy threw the beans at him and they rattled all over. Oh, it's snowy and hailing, cried the lazy boy and he ran faster than ever.  Oh, mother, he cried. I've had a terrible time and he spoke very fast. I'll never be lazy again. I'm glad of it, she said. I guess Uncle Wigley cured you. And so the old gentleman rabbit had for the duck boy was always ready to work after that. Then Lulu and Alice and Jimmy went home in the auto and went to bed. And that's where you must go soon. And if the pussycat doesn't slip in the molasses and fall down the cellar steps, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wigley helping Jimmy. End of Chapter 9. Chapter 10 of Uncle Wigley's automobile. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Elizabeth Holland. Uncle Wigley's automobile. By Howard R. Garris. Chapter 10. Uncle Wigley Helps Jimmy. Old Percival, who used to be a circus dog, wasn't feeling very well. Some bad boys had tied a tin can to his tail and had thrown stones at him and done other mean things. But Uncle Wigley had come along and driven the boys away, and Percival had come home in the automobile of the old gentleman rabbit and was given a nice warm place behind the kitchen stove where he could lie down. But I don't feel a bit good, Percival said to Uncle Wigley. I don't know whether it was the tin can the boys tied to my tail, or the leaves they stuck on me, or the bone they put in my mouth, or the molasses they used, but I don't feel well at all. Perhaps it is the episodic, said Alice Wibblewobble, the duck girl as she untied her green hair ribbon and put on a pink one. That may be it, said Percival, and he blinked his two eyes slow and careful like, so as not to get any dust in them. Perhaps if I made you some dog biscuit soup it would make you feel better, said Mrs. Wibblewobble. I'll cook some right away. So she did that, and Percival ate it. But still that night he didn't feel much better, and the only trick he could do for the children was to stand up on his tail and make believe he was a soldier. But he couldn't do that very long, and then he had to crawl back to his bed behind the stove. Poor Percival is getting old, said Mr. Wibblewobble. He isn't the lively dog he used to be when he showed Petey and Jackie Bow Wow how to do tricks in a circus parade. No indeed, said Uncle Wiggly, and then the old gentleman rabbit played Blind Man's Bluff with Lulu and Alice and Jimmy Wibblewobble until it was time to go to bed. Well, the next day, poor old Percival wasn't any better, and when the duck children started for school, their mama told them to stop on their way home and tell Dr. Possum to come and give Percival some medicine. We will, said Jimmy, and just then they saw Uncle Wiggly putting some gasoline in his automobile. Oh dear, you're not going away, are you, Uncle Wiggly? Asked Lulu Wibblewobble as she picked up a stone and threw it even better than the lazy boy duck could have done. No, said the old gentleman rabbit. I'm just going for a little ride to see Grandfather Goosey Gander, but I will be back here when you come from school. Don't forget about telling Dr. Possum to come and see Percival. So they said they wouldn't forget, and then the three duck children hurried on to school so they wouldn't be late, and Uncle Wiggly tickled the flink and flank of his auto, and away he went whizzing over the fields and through the woods. Well, as it happened that day, Dr. Possum wasn't home. So all that Jimmy and his sisters could do was to leave word for him to come and see Percival as soon as the doctor got back. I'll send him right away, just as soon as he comes in, said Dr. Possum's wife. Oh, I am so sorry for poor Percival. Well, when Lulu and Alice and Jimmy got home from school, Dr. Possum hadn't yet come to the duck house to see the sick dog who was much worse, and Uncle Wiggly hadn't come back from his automobile ride either. Oh, dear, exclaimed Mrs. Wibblewobble. I don't know what to do. The doctor ought to come, and Uncle Wiggly ought to be here. Perhaps Uncle Wiggly has met with an accident, and Dr. Possum had to attend to him first. Oh, I hope not, Mama, said Alice. I know what I can do, said Jimmy, the boy duck. I can hurry back to Dr. Possum's house to see if he has come back yet. If he has, I'll tell him to please hurry here. I think that would be a good idea, spoke Mrs. Wibblewobble. Go quickly, Jimmy, and here is a molasses cookie to eat on your way.  So Jimmy said he would, and off he started eating the molasses cookie that his mama had baked. He was thinking how good it was, and wishing it was larger, when all at once he stepped on a sharp stone and hurt his foot so that he couldn't walk. Oh dear, cried Jimmy, what shall I do? I can't go get Dr. Possum for Percival now. Well, he was in great pain, and he was just wondering how he could send word to the doctor when all at once he saw a pony horse in the field nearby. The very thing, exclaimed Jimmy. That is Munchie Trot, the pony boy. And he'll let me ride to the doctor on his back. So Jimmy took a stick to use as a cane, and he managed to get right close up behind the pony horse who was eating grass. I'll surprise him, thought Jimmy. I'll fly up on his back before he sees me. So with his strong wings he flew up on the pony's back, and he cried out, Surprise on you, Munchie! Please gallop and trot with me to Dr. Possum so he can make Percival well. And then a funny thing happened. All at once Jimmy noticed that he was on the back of a strange pony. It wasn't Munchie Trot at all. Jimmy had made a mistake. Think of that. And the worst of it was that when he flew so suddenly up on the pony's back, Jimmy frightened him. And the next instant the pony jumped over the fence and began running down the road as fast as he could. Oh, stop! Stop! cried Jimmy. I'll fall off. The duck boy had to take hold of the pony's mane in his yellow bill, and he had to hold on so he wouldn't fall off. Faster and faster ran the pony, trying to get away from what was on his back, for he hadn't seen Jimmy fly up, and he didn't know what it was. Maybe he thought it was a burglar fox, but I'm not sure. Anyhow, the pony went faster and faster. And though Jimmy cried as hard as he could for him to stop, the pony wouldn't do it. Jimmy was almost falling off, and he thought surely he would be hurt, when all of a sudden down the road came Uncle Wiggly in his automobile. He saw what was the matter. Hold on, Jimmy, cried the old gentleman rabbit. Hold on, and I'll be up to you in a minute. Then you can fly into my auto and be safe. Well, the pony was going fast, but the auto went faster, and it was soon up beside the little galloping horsey. Now jump, Jimmy, called Uncle Wiggly, and the boy duck did so, landing safely in the auto, and he wasn't hurt a bit. Then the pony galloped on until he looked back and saw it had only been a duck on his back, and then he was ashamed for having run away, and he stopped and said he was sorry, so Jimmy forgave him. Quick, we must go for Dr. Possum for Old Dog Percival, said Jimmy, and he told Uncle Wiggly how the doctor hadn't yet come. Then Uncle Wiggly told how he accidentally got a hole in one of his big rubber tires, or he would have been home sooner. But it's a good thing I happened to come along to help you, he said to Jimmy, and Jimmy thought so too. Then they went for Dr. Possum, who would just come home, and they took him to Percival in the auto, and Dr. Possum soon made Percival all well, and I'm glad of it. Then the doctor cured Jimmy's sore foot, and everybody was happy, and I hope you are. And next, if the dried leaves don't blow in my window and scare the wallpaper so that it falls off, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggly helping Alice. End of Chapter 10 Chapter 11 of Uncle Wiggly's automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Elizabeth Holland Uncle Wiggly's automobile By Howard R. Garris Chapter 11 Uncle Wiggly Helps Alice One day the postman bird flew down out of the sky and stopped in front of the Wibble Wobble Duckhouse. Uncle Wiggly long years, the old gentleman rabbit was out in front, cleaning some mud off his auto, for he had run it very fast into a puddle of water the day he saved Jimmy off the pony's back. Does anybody named Alice Wibble Wobble live here? Asked the postman bird as he looked in his bag of letters. Yes, Alice lives here, said Uncle Wiggly, and just Lulu Wibble Wobble. Yes, of course. And Jimmy too? Certainly, said the old gentleman rabbit. Then this is the right house, said the postman bird as he blew his whistle like a canary, and here is a letter for each of them. So he handed Uncle Wiggly three letters, and then he flew up into the air again, as fast as he could go, to deliver the rest of the mail. Humb, I wonder who can be writing to Lulu and Alice and Jimmy, said Uncle Wiggly, as he looked at the letters. Well, I'll take them in the house. They look to me like party invitations, and I wonder why I didn't get one. But I suppose the young folks don't want an old, dramatic uncle around anymore. Oh, well, I'm getting old. Getting old. And he went slowly into the house, feeling a bit sad. Here are some letters for you children, he called to Lulu and Alice and Jimmy. The bird postman just brought them. Oh, fine, cried the children, and they opened them all at once with their strong yellow bills. Goodie, cried Lulu as she read hers. Jenny Chipmuck is going to have a party, and I'm invited. So am I, cried Alice. And I added Jimmy. I thought they were party invitations, said Uncle Wiggly, sort of sad and thoughtful like. When is it? Tonight, said Lulu. Then we must hurry and get ready, said Alice. I must iron out some of my hair ribbons so they will be nice and fresh. Oh, that's just like you girls, cried Jimmy. You have to primp and fuss. I can be ready in no time, just by washing my face. Oh, cried Lulu and Alice together. Make him put on a clean collar anyhow, Mama. Yes, I'll do that, agreed Jimmy. Well, pretty soon they were all getting ready to go to the party, and Uncle Wiggly went back to finish cleaning his auto, and he was wishing he could go. But you just wait and see what happens. Pretty soon it became night, and then it was time for the party. Lulu and Jimmy were all ready, but it took Alice such a long time to get her hair fixed the way she wanted it, and to get just the kind of hair ribbon that suited her, that she wasn't ready. You see, she had so many kinds of hair ribbons, and she kept them all in a box. And really, she didn't know just which one to take. First she picked out a red one, and she didn't like that. And then she picked out a blue one, and she didn't like that. And then she picked up a pink one, and then a green, and then a brown. And finally, a skilligamene colored one, but none suited her. Hurry, Alice, called Lulu, or you'll be late.  All right, they answered, and they started off. Mr. and Mrs. Wibblewobble had gone across the street to pay a little visit to Mr. and Mrs. Duckling, and so Uncle Wiggly and Alice were all alone in the house. You had better hurry, Alice, said the old gentleman rapid as he was reading the evening paper. Oh, I don't know what to do, she cried. I can't decide which hair ribbon to wear. Wear them all, called Uncle Wiggly with a laugh, but of course Alice couldn't do that. And she was in despair, which means that she didn't know what to do. She laid all the ribbons back in the box, and she was just going to shut her eyes and pick out the first one she could reach, and wear that, whether she liked it or not, for she didn't want to be late to the party. And then, all of a sudden, in through the open window of her room, the old skillery-scallery alligator put his long nose, and he cried, Hair ribbons! I must have hair ribbons! Give me hair ribbons! And then, what do you think he did? Why, he grabbed up the whole box full of Alice's lovely hair ribbons, and before she could say Scootum Scatum, if she had wanted to, that skillery-scallery alligator ran away with him in his mouth, taking his double-jointed tail with him. Oh! cried Alice. Oh! Oh! And she almost lost her breath. She was so surprised. What is it? cried Uncle Wiggly, running up to her room. The alligator! He has taken my hair ribbons! Quick, run after him, dear Uncle Wiggly! I will, exclaimed the brave old gentleman rabbit, and out of the house he hurried. But the gator with the double-jointed tail had completely gone, and the rabbit gentleman couldn't catch him. Oh! whatever shall I do! cried Alice when Uncle Wiggly came back. I have no hair ribbon, and I can't go to the party! Well! Uncle Wiggly thought for a moment. He didn't tell Alice that she should have hurried more, and worn a pink ribbon, and then the accident wouldn't have happened. No, he didn't say anything like that, but he said, I can help you, Alice. Down in the yard is some long grass, green with white stripes in it. They call it ribbon grass. I will get some for a hair ribbon for you. Oh! thank you so much, said Alice. So Uncle Wiggly quickly went down, pulled some of the ribbon grass, and helped Alice tie it in her feathers. And she looked too cute for anything. Really, she did. Now, quick, run, and catch up to Jimmy and Lulu, and go to the party and have a good time, said Uncle Wiggly, and Alice did. And what do you think?  Oh! Uncle Wiggly! cried Sammy. Jenny Chipmunk was so frustrated about her party that she forgot to send you an invitation. But she wants you very much, so I've come to take you to it. Come along with me. Then Uncle Wiggly was very glad, for he liked parties as much as you do. And he jumped into the cart with Sammy, and they went to the party and had a lovely time. And the next day Uncle Wiggly went out in his auto, and he made the alligator give back all of Alice's hair ribbons. And none of them was lost or soiled the least bit, I'm glad to say. Now, no more at present, if you please. But if the picture book doesn't read about the Sandman, and go to sleep on the front porch, I'll tell you next about Uncle Wiggly and the Doll Doctor. End of Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Of Uncle Wiggly's automobile This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.  I wonder where I had better go. I have it. I'll call him grandfather Goosey Gander and play a game of Scotch Checkers. And off he went. It was generally that way with Uncle Wiggly. He would start off pretending he had no place in particular to go, but he would generally end up at Grandpa Goosey's house. There the old rabbit gentleman, and the old duck gentleman, would sit and play Scotch Checkers and eat molasses cookies with cabbage seeds on top, and they would talk of the days when they were young and could play ball and go skating and do all of those things. But this time Uncle Wiggly never got to grandfather Goosey's house. As he was going along in the woods, all of a sudden he came to a little house that stood under a Christmas tree. And on this house was a sign reading, Dr. Monkey Doodle, Sick Dolls Made Well Ha! That is rather strange, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly. I never knew there was a doll doctor here. He must have moved in only lately. I must look into this. So the rabbit gentleman went up to the little house, and as he came nearer, he heard someone inside exclaiming, Oh, I'll never get through today. I know I won't. Oh, the trouble I'm in. Oh, if only I had someone to help me. My! What is that? cried Uncle Wiggly, stopping short. Perhaps I'm making a mistake. That may be a trap. No, it doesn't look like a trap. He went on as he peered all about the little house and saw nothing dangerous. Then the voice cried again. Oh, I am in such trouble. Will no one help me? Now, Uncle Wiggly was always on the lookout to help his animal friends, but he did not know who this one could be. Still, said the rabbit gentleman to himself, he is in trouble. Maybe a mosquito has bitten him. I'm going to see. So Uncle Wiggly marched bravely up to the little house under the Christmas tree and knocked on the door.  I'm head over heels in work, and I'll never get through. In fact, I can't work at all. Oh, such trouble as I am in. Well, maybe I can help you, said Uncle Wiggly. At any rate, I have no doll that needs mending.  There was Dr. Monkey Doodle sitting on the floor of his shop, and scattered all about him were dolls, dolls, dolls, all sorts of dolls, but not a good, whole, well doll in the lot. Some dolls had lost their wigs, some had swallowed their eyes, others had lost a leg, or both arms, or a foot. One poor doll had lost all her sawdust, and she was as flat as a pancake. Another had dropped one of her shoe-button eyes, and a new eye needed to be sewed in. One doll had stiff joints, which needed oiling, while another, who used to talk in a little phonograph voice, had caught such a cold that she could not speak or even whisper. My, what sort of a place is this? asked Uncle Wiggly in surprise. It is the doll hospital, said Dr. Monkey Doodle. Think of it. All these dolls to fix before night, and I can't touch a one of them. Why must all the dolls be fixed tonight? the rabbit gentleman wanted to know. Because they are going to a party, exclaimed Dr. Monkey Doodle. Susie Littletail, the rabbit, is giving a party for all the little animal girls, and every one is going to bring her doll. But all the dolls were ill, or else were broken, and the animal children brought them all to me at once, so that I am fairly overwhelmed with work. If you will kindly permit me to say so, remarked the Monkey Doctor. Of course I'll let you say so, said Uncle Wiggly. But if you will kindly pardon me, why don't you get up and work, instead of sitting in the middle of the floor, feeling sorry for yourself? True. Why do I not? asked the Monkey Doctor. Well, to be perfectly plain, I am stuck here so fast that I can't move. One of the dolls, I think it was core and multiplicationable, upset the pot of glue on the floor. I came in hurriedly, and not seeing the puddle of glue, I slipped in it. I fell down. I sat right in the glue. And now I am stuck so fast that I can't get up. So you see, that's why I can't work on the broken dolls. I can't move.  Oh, what a time I'll have. And the Monkey Doctor tried to pull himself up from the glue on the floor, but he could not. He was stuck fast. Oh, dear, he cried. Now don't worry, spoke Uncle Wiggly kindly. I think I can help you. Oh, can you? cried Dr. Monkey Doodle. And will you? I certainly will, said Uncle Wiggly, tying his ears in a bow knot so they would not get tangled in the glue. But how can you help me? asked the Monkey Doctor. In the first place, went on the rabbit gentleman, I will pour some warm water all around you on the glue. That will soften it, and by and by you can get up. And while we were waiting for that, you shall tell me how to cure the sick dolls and how to mend the broken ones, and I'll do the best I can. Fine, cried Dr. Monkey Doodle, feeling happier now. So Uncle Wiggly poured some warm water on the glue that held the poor Monkey fast, taking care not to have the water too hot. Then Uncle Wiggly said, Now we'll begin on the sick dolls. Who's first? Take Sally Jane Ticklefeather, said the Monkey. She needs some mucilage peels to keep her hair from sticking up so straight. She belongs to a little girl named Rosalind. So Uncle Wiggly gave Sally Jane Ticklefeather some mucilage peels. Then he gave another doll, some sawdust tea, and a third one, some shoe button pudding. This was the doll who only had one eye, and soon she was all cured and had two eyes. And then such a busy time as Uncle Wiggly had, he hopped around that little hospital sewing arms and legs and feet on the dolls that had lost theirs.  Only by mistake he got in one brown eye and one blue one. But that didn't matter much. In fact, it made the doll all the more stylish. Oh, but there were a lot more dolls to fix, cried the Monkey Doctor. Never mind, said Uncle Wiggly. You will soon be loose from the glue when you can help me. Oh, I wish I were loose now, cried the Monkey. He gave himself a tremendous tug and pull, Uncle Wiggly helping him, and up he came. Then how he flew about that hospital, fixing the dolls ready for the party. Hark, suddenly called Uncle Wiggly. It's the girl animals coming for their dolls, said the Monkey. Oh, work fast, work fast. Outside the doll hospital, Susie Littletail, the rabbit girl, and Alice and Lulu Wibblewobble, the duck girls, and all of their friends were calling. Are our dolls mended? Are they ready for us? Not yet, but soon, answered Uncle Wiggly. And then he and the Monkey worked so fast. Dolls that had lost their heads had new ones put on. The doll that had spilled all her sawdust was filled up again, plump and fat. One boy soldier doll, who had lost his gun, was given a new one, and a sword also. And the phonograph doll was fixed so that she could sing as well as talk. But it's almost time for the party, cried Susie Littletail. Just a minute, called Uncle Wiggly. There is one more doll to fix. Then he quickly painted some red cheeks on a poor little pale doll, who had had the measles. And in a moment she was as bright and rosy again as a red apple. Then all the dolls were fixed, and the girl animals took them to a party, and had a fine time. Hooray for Uncle Wiggly, cried Susie Littletail, and all the others said the same thing. He certainly was kind to me, spoke Dr. Monkey Doodle, as he cleaned the glue up off the floor. And that's all there is to this story. But in the next one, if the goldfish doesn't bite a hole in his globe and let all the molasses run over the tablecloth, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggly and the flowers. End of Chapter 12. Chapter 13 of Uncle Wiggly's Automobile. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Jude Summers. Uncle Wiggly's Automobile by Howard R. Garris. Chapter 13. Uncle Wiggly and the Flowers. One Saturday, when there was no school, Charlie Chick was playing soldier in the chicken coop and beating the drum that Uncle Wiggly had given him for Christmas. And Arabella, who was Charlie's sister, was playing with her talking doll. The little chicken girl was teaching the doll to recite that piece about once a trap was baited with a piece of cheese, but the doll couldn't seem to get the verses right. She would say it something like this. Once a trap was baited with a twinkling star, Twas Christmas Eve and Santa Claus was coming from afar. A little drop of water was in Jack Horner's pie. When Mary lost her little lamb, old Mother Goose did cry. Oh, you'll never get that right, exclaimed Arabella. Uncle Wiggly, can't you make my talking doll learn to speak pieces right? She gets them all mixed up. I'll try, said the old gentleman rabbit, and he was just telling the doll how to recite a poem about Little Monkey Jack upon a stick of candy, and every time he took a bite it tasted fine and dandy. Well, the doll had learned one verse when, all at once, there came a knock on the door, and there stood a telegraph messenger boy with a telegram for Uncle Wiggly. Oh, something has happened, exclaimed Mrs. Chick. I am so nervous whenever telegrams come. Wait until I read it, said the old gentleman rabbit, and when he had read it, he said, It is from Aunt Letty, the old lady goat. She has the episodic very badly from having eaten some billboard pictures of a snowstorm, which made her catch cold, and she wants to know if I can't come over to see her, and tell Dr. Possum to bring her some medicine. Of course I will. I'll start off at once. So Uncle Wiggly started off in his automobile, and on his way to see the old lady goat, he stopped at the doctor's house, and Dr. Possum promised to come as soon as he could and cure the old lady goat.  So he hurried on, with his long ears flapping to and fro, and he hadn't gone very far before he came to a shop where a man had flowers to sell, roses and violets and pinks, and all lovely blossoms like that. The very thing, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly, as he saw the pretty posies. Sick persons like flowers, and I'll take some to Aunt Letty. They may cheer her up. So he bought a large and kept on toward the old lady goat's house. Well, he hadn't gone very far before, all at once, as he was going around a corner by the prickly briar bush that had berries on it in the summertime. All at once, I say, out jumped a big black bear. At first Uncle Wiggly thought it was a good bear, and he stopped the auto to shake paws with him. But all at once he saw that it was a bad bear, whom he had never seen before. Oh my, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly, surprised like. I guess I have made a mistake. I don't know you, I beg your pardon. You don't need to do that, growled the bear. You'll soon know me well enough. You and I are going to be very well acquainted soon. You come with me. And with that he grabbed hold of the old gentleman rabbit and marched off with him, pulling him right out of the auto. Where are you taking me? asked Uncle Wiggly, trying to be brave and not shiver or shake. To my den, answered the bear, in a grillery, growerly voice. I haven't had my Christmas or New Year's dinner yet, and here it is the middle of January. Brrr, wow!  What makes you so cross? Just look at my feet, and you'll see why. Answered the bear, and Uncle Wiggly looked, and as true as I am telling you, there were a whole lot of walnut shells fast on the bear's feet. That's enough to make anyone cross, said the bear.  Talk about corns. These are worse than any corns. I have to walk on my tiptoes all the while, and I'm so cross that I could eat a hot cross bun and never know it. Brrr, wow, woof! Oh my, exclaimed Uncle Wiggly. Then I guess it's all up with me, and he felt quite sad like. You may well say that, growled the bear. Come along. And he almost pulled Uncle Wiggly head over paws. What have you in that paper? asked the bear, as he saw the bag of flowers in Uncle Wiggly's paw.   Brrr, wow, woof! Don't talk to me about sick goats, growled the bear. I'm sicker than any goat of these walnut shells on my feet. Brrr, wow, woof! And then Uncle Wiggly thought of something. Gently opening the paper, he took out one nice big sweet-smelling rose and handed it to the bear, saying nothing. Brrr, wow, what's this? growled the bear. And before he knew what he was doing, he had taken the rose in his big paws. And then, before he knew, the next thing he was smelling of it. And, as he smelled the sweet perfume, he seemed to think he was in the summer fields, all covered with flowers, and as he looked at the rose, it seemed to remind him of the time when he was a little bear and wasn't bad, and didn't say such things as, brrr, wow. And then, once more, he smelled of the perfume in the flower, and he seemed to forget the pain of the walnut shells on his feet. Oh, Uncle Wiggly exclaimed the bear, and tears came into his blinkery, inquiry eyes and rolled down his black nose. I'm sorry I was bad to you. This flower is so lovely that it makes me want to be good. Run along now, before I change my mind, and get bad again. First, let me help you take those walnut shells off your paws, said the rabbit gentleman. And he did so, prying them off with a stick, and then the bear felt ever so much better, and he hurried to his den, still smelling the beautiful rose. So you see, flowers are sometimes good, even for bears. Then, Uncle Wiggly hurried on to Aunt Letty's house with the rest of the bouquet, and when she sought, she was quite some better, and when Dr. Possum gave her some medicine, she was all better, and she thought Uncle Wiggly was very brave to do as he had done to the bear. And on the next page, in case the egg beater doesn't hit the rolling pin, and make the potato masher fall down in the ice cream cone, I'll tell you about Uncle Wiggly and Susie's doll. End of Chapter 13


We are gathered here as one, one people. What grows from our Mother Earth, as we too are like the flowers of this creation. They've asked me to say the opening prayer. Which I will do so in Malakota language. We are gathered here as one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one. We are gathered here as one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one, one. To doctor people is strong in me because I've been doing it over 30 years.  A ceremony, a pipe ceremony is one night in the eagle's way. The week is to go four nights to heal somebody. But in our eagle's way we have just one night of ceremony. And of course that's not enough. The miracles do not work that way. The older the sickness is, it takes that much more time to heal. When you address a sickness right at the start you can heal it quickly. And with ages too you can doctor a baby and you'll be healed right there. But with an old person that is brainwashed in the mission schools and elsewhere, the government way and all that, he has all of that doubt in his mind and it takes a longer time to do a doctoring there. We initiate the different parts of the sacred rituals that were given to us. The sweat lodge, the pipe paths, the Sundance and the pipe ceremonies that we have. I know that good things will come about. The Indian prayer is always for the pipe paths. It consists of the real pipe paths, it's for days. The Sundance is for days also. Also it pertains to four consecutive years, four consecutive summers. So that Indian prayer is that long. When I was young I had to stay away, I had to run from the thing, I had a sacred dream. I had to run from that. Doing hard work in many states, Colorado, Wyoming, Nebraska. And working hard. I even became a councilman. I worked five years for the church too in trying to get rid of this. And that's how I became a medicine man gradually. The great spirit doesn't forget anything. If you do something on a slide, you can't get rid of it. If you do something good without telling about it, he will know. A good medicine man works in his own community and the people know. Know that he is doing good. Trust is the greatest thing there is along with truth and honesty. And I don't see that in the outside world. My eyes have seen that and I know. I would like to talk about Ojete Wakana. Which translated it as the sacred fireplace. The purpose there is to have a treatment center that deals with the alcoholics and drug abuse. and when it get it to functioning, we would like to infuse in there the sacred rights of our people that the Great Spirit gave to us. We want to use the sweat lodge, the bypass, the Sundance. And using these I know that we can deal with that greatest of disease that is assailing us. We urge that they remain there. If they really truly want to get cured, they will remain. Anything that is good is hard to attain. Anything in the world, when we say something to the Great Spirit, we should adhere to that. We should remain at that. We are talking not to people who are one on one. We are talking to a great, powerful being. When we tell him something, we should not change it. This continent was abundant in grass and all that was virgin, on it, beautiful, pure and so good even to look at. This one old buffalo, it was a windy day and he was up in age and I suppose he was a little hard hearing but he seems to be hearing some voice crying, crying bitterly.  It was a blood cloud. It was this blood cloud that was crying out. I am cold. I am hungry. I am weak. So the Great Spirit put in the mind of the buffalo to have pity on this blood clot and he said, look at me. I am big and strong. So when the blowing north wind blows, I can walk to it, not feeling cold. And I can gallop, a slow gallop all day long. So I am that strong. I will give you these and much more.  So at that moment the buffalo adopted the Indian, the Lakrota as his younger brother. Together we will walk.  Trust is the greatest thing there is along with truth and honesty. In my own and God loves me for that. I am a humble man. I am a poor man. So when I ask him for something, he grants me to the sacred body. And I want goodness in the people, especially those that seek my help. That's all I want to say.