What's happening party people? I'm replacing Robbie Kramer for a moment just to introduce our next speaker who's a pretty amazing guy If there were four things that truly changed my life It would be my experience in the seduction community what women taught to me and all that fun stuff It would be what I learned here about paleo and in having the you know What my physical body was meant to be and eating right now that sort of stuff Meditation we had speakers speak on that as well And then the fourth thing would be my experience with martial arts and finding myself through those things I've trained martial arts For forever for all my life, you know since I was a boy in many different styles and with amazing teachers and The guy who I'm about to introduce to you today is literally the best hands-down person that I've worked with and he's taught me the most about myself and Is a reflection in all of my life and what we do and probably one of the most dangerous guys that you will ever ever meet His name is Edward Akin. He runs a company called force dynamics with an x.com which he will tell you all about Ed All right, thank you So All right, let's see if I can do this justice here Thank You Steve. Thank you Anthony for for giving me opportunity to be here. I'm based out of Austin, Texas So I don't do a whole lot of these speaking things So we'll see how it goes But I do do a lot of teaching and I want to start with a little brief brief background of myself because it sets the frame for What we're going to learn about today. Okay, and it's a concept I call forcing the dark side and Before you start thinking it's about stalking ladies of the night putting them in the trunk of your car It's a little it's a little bit of that it's a little bit of that so there's a lot of useful things in here but we will define what this is and It's really more so if you guys aren't in martial arts, don't worry about it This is a concept that has changed my life in many ways and hopefully if you if we get to the point where I can You know define it clearly for you what it is why you should develop it and how you can develop that Given the time and you guys actually put in the applications. You will see some amazing results for yourself so getting back to Myself I've been doing martial arts for 30 some odd years. I'm 40 now so I started very early and The reasons I got into the martial arts are very similar to the reasons why a lot of people get in the seduction community Yeah, I was basically The the afc of the fighting world. I was a I grew up in rural Michigan. I had no Friends to play with so I had little to no social skills when I was younger and so by the time I got to a larger School I started getting my ass handed to me every day by this group of guys and it got worse and worse over the years so My mother bless her had had enough so but by the time I was about in sixth grade She decided to Enroll me in some martial arts and I had had some judo and some other things when I was a little bit younger But this was really out of a necessity to to stop getting beat up every day and so of course Back then we didn't really have functional martial arts, right?  Yeah, it wasn't good. So but that was the the Impetus for me to to get into the martial arts was really self-preservation Okay It was it had nothing to do with the traditional Tradition of the martial arts or that side of things which now I've come full circle to appreciate But it was really you know just much like the AFC out there with girls who who's shot down time after time after time I was getting beat up time after time after time and so what this this did to me is it made me After after training and I didn't want to give up my training To seek out a functional martial arts and it took me to about the age of 17 To actually find something and and it's an art called jicando concepts And it's really Bruce Lee's approach of how to train in the martial arts and really back then it's a precursor to MMA It's cross training these guys were boxing kickboxing using weapons doing some grappling And so it was finally at the age of 17 that I found a functional art. And so it was really through this self-preservation Journey the the really because all the all the philosophy in the world and in the martial arts at that time Did me no good when I was actually in school and after school and you know on the playground getting getting beat up it didn't help and This is one of those things that It's behind This this idea of killer instinct and what killer instinct is it's really it's an idea But it's the base of killer instinct is what I call primal driver And the reason that we have martial arts in the first place is out of that primal driver And it's very similar to the reason why we have the seduction community Which is also a primal driver and so when we start working with these forces, right? Which we'll get into a little bit more. They are universal forces out there This is why when people are in the seduction community and they really get into connecting with women Right, they're tapping into that primal source. And what is that primal source? Well, what drives the seduction community the very existence of it is for us as a species to procreate Right, we as men have that drive to go out and seek out women to ensure that we spread the seed to Make sure that the species survive so we can experience life Well, the same thing in the martial arts when we have killer instinct or self-preservation We need that to ensure that our family ourselves and our tribe are going to be safe, right when we started Going through warring times and we actually had tribes We had other warring tribes come in and if your tribe was wiped out we didn't survive So this is a primal driver to also experience life that we're tapping into and I call it forcing the dark side because We have to we have to get we're talking about life and death and we have to get in touch with that And it's not necessarily on the surface a good thing in many contexts, right? We don't want to just walk out there and be this this sadistic animal It doesn't work in the modern world, but as a result of the modern world We've lost touch with this many of us have you know and a lot of that is social programming A lot of that has to do with our environment, you know sitting in front of the computer. It limits our focus We don't get to express ourselves as men So I wanted to use this subject because I think it's a good theme for this this venue But I'm going back to myself right around when I was 17 and I started training in G I started turning the tides in my fight. I started having some results There were still fights where I would stalemate with people. I'd still get black eyes I still you know not be where I wanted to be I still didn't have the self-image that I needed years and years of you know Not having social skills would do damage to your self-image But it was through this that led me to go to California and start training with another JKD expert Paul Vunak And at the time I believe I was 19 when I started training with him He was just getting done with his contract with SEAL Team 6 out of Virginia Beach. Okay, and Vunak Is is one of the biggest influences on my life, but he's also has in the martial arts community At that time he kind of was a sore subject because he was just about fighting. Okay, he was in the streets Perfecting his his art, you know in actual bad situations. We're not talking about just you know Amano Imano with one guy he put himself in really bad situations to see what worked Okay, and that caught the eye of the government who then in turn wanted him to train SEAL Team 6 and how he got Yeah, how he got the eye of the government as a whole another story But so what happened was when he started training SEAL Team 6 in Virginia Beach Then these guys took his whole system and actually applied it in combat But they also would apply it into biker bars and the bars seen down in Virginia Beach and come back with infield Reports much like the seduction community, right? They're all what happened with this or this guy came out of blue So it was so very similar but out of this this idea of killer instinct evolved So it evolved to a point where when I started training with him. He still had government people coming to his house when we Had a lot of the SEAL Team so I got very intimate Got to see behind the scenes of this development of this because this is the key especially if you're talking about a Combat situation the SEALs have to be able to turn their killer instinct on and turn it off Okay, and that's part of what we're talking about We have to have the ability to go from zero to a hundred but back to zero to keep a calm head Right does no good if you're in a flung range firefight to be at a hundred Okay, you have to keep a calm head and this is the same thing in a street fight If we start out at a hundred and we're we're we're matched with a superior size Biker who's spent some time in prison.  If we go force on force with that especially me with my size, I'm gonna lose So there's a time and place to tap into this side of ourselves and when we do tap into it It is that killer Sadistic total disdain for that which is in front of you and that's a person who is trying to hurt you but I Want to go back and I'm gonna use the analogy of a street fight because I'm not I'm hoping none of you ever it has to street fight, but really the street fight is an analogy for life, right? There's struggle. There's opposition. There's stress There's hopefully sometimes when you're in trouble your friends will jump in but most of the time you're left to fend for yourself Okay, there's a beginning and there's an end and sometimes there are those that conspire against you So it really is an analogy of a struggle, but I don't want you to to Think of just this in the context of a street fight because when I break this down the killer instinct, right? We can put any context in there We can take out the word street fight and we could put pickup we can take out the word pickup and we could put you know Business negotiation so these elements in killer instinct are going to be there. It's just to what degree do we express them? We're not going to express this when we're in a business negotiation, but we may need that unspoken to get that Negotiation okay, and I'll share a story later on that fill one of my students shared with me before we got on It's a good demonstration of killer instinct, but I want to get into a little bit more of what this is And part of it is being able to turn it on and turn it off See the turning off part is just as important as turning it on because we do have to keep a calm head We have to assess We have to see when the opportunity presents itself so that we can go in and destroy that which is trying to destroy us Make sense Okay, so let's talk about killer instinct a little bit more what I call Just for Demonstration purposes we're going to look at things as a scale Right and in the context of a street fight we'll call this the scale Of bad intentions right when it's not a street fight we can call it the scale of intent in action Because what I'm going to give you today is really It's really a way for you to tap into a part of yourself That's there everybody has it believe me I know because I was that introverted kid in fact my wife before I came here I told her she couldn't come because I get a little nervous right and so we have the luxury of going back home to see My family and and of course any time that happens your family has evidence of what you used to be right and I was the head geek I was actually the drum major for my band which you can imagine didn't help my fighting life very much But while I was there unbeknownst to me my mom had given her some plaques that I had earned as being the drum major in The band so she was bringing those out, you know because I told her she couldn't come she said well My you're talking about killer instinct. Just remember who you are And then I demonstrated this side of killer instinct and I let her live right took that So but that's part of it So it's something that the reason I'm sharing that is because it's something we can develop if I can develop it Anybody can and we need to develop it not because we're gonna go out in street fight But because as men we don't get to express ourselves We don't get to tap into this side often enough and conversely some of us are so much here We don't know how to do this Right where we're gonna we're gonna get more in touch with our friends. I'm more assessing and both are equally important Okay, and what happens is by going to these extremes you gain emotional mastery Okay, you're gaining a part of yourself. You're waking up that that sleeping giant within yourself because it's a primal driver Okay, it is it is key or she is life force that you tap into Okay, it's not something we can sustain a hundred percent of the time or even for very long because it taps our physical strength But when you go there and I'll show you how to do that more often you will get more things for yourself You'll be more assertive. Okay, and you don't even have to oftentimes say anything Because this is this is a primal mover of our species and when you tap into it Other people you will move other people. They will sense it Okay, and the same thing on this side and we're able to turn it down and we're okay with not being that Okay, makes sense so far Okay, so the scale of bad intentions killer instinct is knowing both where you're at and Where your opponent is at on that scale of bad intentions so that you have the both the ability and the knowledge to act accordingly In conjunction with that which opposes you Okay, so in a conversation. It's that perfect timing of when when to enter that close Okay, or when it went to interject whatever it is you need to get your goal Okay in a street fight And and once again, this is this is the analogy But most people when they when they want to fight you they're gonna do so out of anger Okay, some people they'll attack you for criminal reasons, but most of the time a street fight is Is somebody out of anger and I want to make this distinction when I talk about a street fight I'm talking about a life-and-death situation. I'm not talking about two guys going on the street and settling things Okay, because we have to treat it with the respect it deserves Okay, any physical altercation can turn deadly even it's a shoving match Someone can shove you you fall down hit your head.  They're dead and you have to treat it like that So if we decide to go to this our life is on the line in a street fight Okay, that's very important is it but this this is in a blind rage This is a focus focus state that I'm gonna teach you how to get that will help other areas of your life And you don't have to develop it through fighting, but this is what I'm what I'm talking about so We have this state and when somebody is going to attack you usually they're gonna be at a 10 Let's say it's a scale of one to ten. They're pissed off where we want to be is that a zero or one? Okay, we need to assess what's going on We have to open our focus and our awareness to see what's happening Okay, if we have the luxury of space if I if I'm if we're gonna fight and you're over there This is this is good for me provide. There's no weapons Okay, but I get the chance to observe both where you're at What's around you? What's around me? What your intentions are? Do you have a weapon right? What's my internal state and and your focus is on me? Okay, so we have to have this this difference of focus if we are to survive a Situation where this guy is much bigger than us perhaps more skilled, you know Whatever whatever the case may be if I go force on force, I'm gonna lose So I have to buy my time to get the right shots up with the right intensity Without taking damage because I don't want to take any damage if I can if I can help it okay, so When they're at a 10 we're at a zero or one and Then as we go through the fight and we pot shot we move we inflict pain they start going down We start going up and at the right moment We enter at a hundred percent so we have to have the ability to go from zero to a hundred But also back down to zero should my past not work Okay, make sense because it's really not the past that I'm talking about talk about the ability to turn it on turn it off Turn it on again and turn it back off Not because of what I want but because of what's actually happening in the moment and you cannot predict that You may do a pass and it doesn't work You have to go back to zero Okay This is something steep knees or Okay, so we have four components of the actual overall scale right and These are also on a scale, so we're going to define these First one is going to be and these are in no particular order our focus second is our intent third are actions and Finally our emotions Okay, so our focus Provided we have the luxury of distance Okay, and this is going to be true for conversations that you're in or whatever it is can be presenting right your focus When you're at this end of the scale has to be wide Okay, you have to take in the entire setting you have to know what's behind you where your possible dangers are where your exits are Right, who's friends with who are their weapons involved? So we have to turn down our Internal dialogue which we'll get to next is our intent or our thought process But our actual physical focus with our eyes Needs to widen and when you do this you put yourself in an alpha state Does anybody know what alpha state is? It's like a light hypnotic trance You're able to take in more information So you can process more without your conscious mind getting involved because if you overthink things You're not going to pick up the threats out there He may move in and now you're in danger city because you were thinking. Oh my god. I left the stove on Okay, when you're here, so that's one we will list this over here We have a wide focus actually I should reverse that for y'all Wide focus This is zero a hundred Right, so what's our focus when we when we make our decision? When we go in with our blast right where we actually make the decision that we can take this big guy out of commission With with our killer instinct our bad intentions our dark side, right? Where's our focus so if it's wide what do we have over here narrow? Right oftentimes when you train this sufficiently you will black out and this is this is actual physiological Function when people get into life and death situations something happens fast you become hyper focused so a lot of the peripheral will go away Not always, but a lot of times it'll go away So we want to take our focus and shift it to just that one thing that's right in front of us So if it's a goal that when we decide to go through and destroy their obstacle or to get our goal Our focus is on that and that's it. That's all that exists. Where's out here. We're assessing everything that we can We're open. We're assessing. We're not labeling. We're just we are just assessing what what is and what is happening We're not adding to it. We're getting out of the subjective mind right our focus becomes narrow our Intent or our thought process Well, we're over here our thought process is to be Assessing and observing right But we also want to be not rattled in other words you want to be safe on under under pressure You're gonna have blows coming at you right and in the context of a street fight, but we want to have a detachment It doesn't mean apathetic and this is true for conversations or for pickup or whatever it is Right when you are in this state of things and you're open and you're assessing what's going on It's like you're light and playful, right You cannot you have to have some sort of emotional attachment if you're apathetic Especially in conversation the other person will pick it up. You don't care at all. There's no emotional attachment It's gonna blow the whole thing unless that's your goal Right if that's your goal, then that's fine, but in a street fight We have to some element some emotional attachment So there's gonna be a little bit of fear there and a little bit of fear is okay, but we don't want that to overwhelm us Okay, so we want the thought process of being more of assessing You know nice shirt nice tie watch out for the traffic back there Hey, the cops are coming over there that lady's on her cell phone. This guy might have a weapon, you know what whatever it is It's assessing we might be adding a little bit to it But it's more in the language of hey watch out. This might happen Okay, we're assessing whereas this the intent thought process behind when we go to a hundred percent in our killer instinct is one or nothing Okay, it's one or nothing either you have no thought in that moment And we and that's hard to sustain if it's if we're able to sustain it at all, right?  I tend to not remember just well guys on the ground. Oh, okay Not always but you know That's that's the intent but the intent is one or nothing And when you we can go from this, right? We're just we're up and moving to this to go a hundred percent That's the thought when you can get and it's a feeling, right? I can demonstrate it, but it's the feeling when you can get that that intention More often you're gonna see a whole bunch of things happen for you because a lot of us are ADHD now Just by the very very nature of things. There's so much going on or we're too narrowly focused But we're over here Right focus should be here when we're intense But we're trained to be focused on our computer. We don't look at the peripheral So it's it's killing this over here the very fact that we have to stay in our cubicles So at my company, I have a saying that says kill your cubicle Because if we're training to be in this box, right?  But if you do that film it give it to me I want to use it. Okay, but I'm talking about the cubicle in your mind because we really do Physically when we're here and I'm not saying you can't have you know, great things don't come from writing or all that But me personally when I spend too much time on a computer. I can feel it I have to go back out and physically Change my focus go through the routine. I'm going to show you guys so I can remind myself that of that That I have this this motivation side of me that I have the ability to do what I want Versus I don't even know that exists. I Gotta pay the next bills. Okay, so that's our intent One or nothing or more of observing and assessing actions Well in a street fight actions are more of a lateral type of footwork. We're responsive We're not a hundred percent defensive. We're side to side. We're moving. We are going to inflict damage over here But we're in long range. We're moving. We're assessing this guy. Does he have a boxing structure? He's have a tie boxing structure is in the MMA fighter. What is it? I was friends involved so but at the same time We don't want to be passive and we do not want to be a hundred percent defensive We may move back because we have to but then we want to go off to the side so our actions if you can get the analogy are going to be more playful, right?  It's not that you'll black out and go. Oh my god I just destroyed this guy you will have if you have any sort of moral code It's not something this is focused, but the intent behind it should I need to go there? It's there for me make sense If you need it, it's there. Hopefully you'll never need it's the gun. It's a 45 in your back pocket Never pull it, but you know you have it and they can sense you have it Right that's when you start getting killer instinct when people can sense that and I'll share what Phil shared with me Phil's one of my students back there and he's he's was just sharing a story with me that at his work In his new job he blew away the guys the guys who have been there for a while I blew away their numbers the last two weeks that right so these guys Little bit jealous of him. They started messing with him in a call during a call. They unplugged his headphones Okay, so Phil wanted to kill them and fill trains so he wants to straight blast these guys But of course he can't do that so Phil. What does he do is killer instinct is just as much about This over here calming himself right in the face of The feelings that he wants to kill these guys. He has to control his reaction to those feelings Okay, and all he gave them was a look Maybe you said to what'd you say? No Don't know It wasn't no don't do they got like it was the nonverbal. No Like they could sense there was something else there because he he trains He you know when when guys can and you don't have to train but you can still get that feeling You know a father will do it to his child. No, but but it's that when you're doing it to another man Right, and you have that there's that innate thing that we've we have fought and bled and died for that pecking order All the all the all of that that we've earned as a species is there and when you have that other men Will notice it's not about being alpha or an amog or any of that, but it's having an emotion tapping into an emotion that Can be used for very bad things and other men will notice that But like I said, it's not a while round. You don't show it off when you choose to show it off.  I was the remember I was a drum major you guys so I'm not Believe me.   Or there even with training we see the whole reason for PTSD is because of the emotional side Not the whole reason but that has a big impact upon it, right?  We don't control our emotions But we can get to the point where our emotions don't control us So we control our reactions to our emotions and that in turn will help to dispel the emotions Okay, so when I get out, you know, was I nervous before when I first got here? Oh, yeah, I was nervous was I nervous before that? Yeah in street fights when I and I've had plenty of street fights bad bad situations the buildup of the street fights Was I ever nervous?  I can dissipate it It's a high-level state control, right? It's just like approaching anxiety same thing But with time and with practice people can start to control that approach anxiety There are top guys I'm sure always have it never goes away or or you know sometimes it does it's not there But sometimes it is but it's your reaction and how you react to that that will determine help determine the outcome Okay, so our emotions when we are out here When we're non-rattled, right? We want to have some sort of detachment, but we want to I Almost be aloof Okay, we want some sort of emotional attachment, but it's more in a voluthiness. You don't care You don't you're not attached to the outcome, but yet you are Attached to the process Right, you care about the process. You're involved. You're present, but you're not attached to any outcome Right in the fight.  That was a nice shot. Oh, watch out for that.  We decide to kick in it's every bad intention you could imagine you have utter disdain for this person in front of you It's rage. It's fear. It is commitment Right it is is just pure destruction It is chaotic because you need it at that moment because if you don't have it, you're gonna be overwhelmed Or perhaps you will die So you have to kick into it But if you do that without this You may not have control and this happens to people all the time They're in their box and they've never experienced this and all of a sudden they get fired And all of a sudden their girlfriend breaks up with them all of a sudden their dog gets run over all of a sudden They find themselves here without ever having been here and now they're popping off rounds in their old workplace Right because it consumes them. They don't know how to deal with it And that's not what we want. We want the ability to turn it on and turn it off On and off so our emotions are whatever to the ump degree when they're expressed We have to feel it so we have to conjure that up So I think I've got like 25 minutes So I'm going to try to get to the how-to of each of these because we can do that We don't have to do martial arts martial arts is one of the best way Ways to develop this but we have to do something physical and I think everybody here almost everybody here is in the health and fitness So there's some form of exercise that you can do to help develop this You can't develop it to the degree that I'm telling you without something physical It's impossible. Okay, a lot of this is mental But it's the physicality that will will bring it out of you doing something physical in conjunction with all these Okay, so let's look at the focus This is just an exercise in widening our focus using our peripheral vision and narrowing it Okay, so all we have to do is something physical when when we are assessing the room look at my posture I'm looking up and I'm using my peripheral vision and I'm using this this anchor this kinesthetic anchor to look around Okay, so you can literally walk around and practice your focus, but what happens when we want to zero in on something?  I'm thinking about Yeah, there's a little sexual energy over here But that's you know, it's a it's that feeling but the squinting See when we focus in on something so you want to practice Oscillating between the extremes and each one of these that's the secret when you oscillate between the extremes And you can do it at will You don't need a cue. You don't need to get pumped up. It just happens Okay, and you'll see with fighters You know, they have to get to a certain state Before before they do that before they get in their fight. That's something a little bit different Okay, and they have the luxury of time see of MMA fight or cage fight is not a street fight And so we don't have the luxury of preparing for it other than our training outside of it But when it happens, it's gonna happen Hopefully it never does but if it's going to and it happens we'd have to have the ability to respond instantly to it Otherwise you're fucked Right if somebody jumps out From a bush and is intent on attacking you and you don't have that in your mind and no training You'll you'll have some fight or flight But most of the chances if you don't have that ability to you know Guy actually physically grabs you and throws you and you can't kick into that. It's it's gonna be a tough night for you Okay, but you don't even need it for that, but it's that ability to go from zero to a hundred that is the secret Okay, so we want to oscillate back and forth from wide To this so you can just pick one thing out in the room look at it and go wide Look at it, right and this can be used in seduction Actually, I told Steve a long time ago because I occasionally look at some of the stuff I'm married now, but I occasionally look at some of his stuff, right and when he does his rapport cycling What is that? That's like a fractionation. Did anybody familiar with your his rapport cycling? So what he's doing is he's taking the state from a light open playful and he's turning up the intensity And he's focusing and then you go back and it fractionates the subject See so this phenomena exists in everything Right, so our focus we want to go from wide to narrow so our intent our thought process Remember we want to have as little internal dialogue as possible We want to turn it down because we don't want to get caught up caught up in the subjective mind We don't want to get caught up with what's in here of what we think should be out there because we need to assess Especially in life and death situation, you better know what's going on around you If you don't know whose friends with who that's your fault because you're too focused you need to open your awareness So we need to have a type of This type of hey look at that. Hey look at that. Hey look at that We take the peripheral and we're pointing it out to ourselves. It's a mentally like nice blue shirt nice light That lights bright, you know things that we're observing Right to me that are in our peripheral and then we want to focus in on one thing and just that's the one thing that exists So candy Right, but it's an oscillation. So we want to do this as an exercise focus Exercise focus exercise have focus right we want it like that.  All right, so that's what we want. We don't want to look too crazy But we want to be able to be crazy when we want to so our actions If you're talking about footwork side to side right so I can just literally jump rope And then when I go to this sprint forward and go back to jumping rope Sprint forward back Emotions So once we get all these things in sync because we want to shift our focus our intent and our actions All at the same time Our emotions have to go with it. So what's one way to? Start to control emotions observe them breathing Breathing and you will observe them. You will you'll feel the initial and then you'll observe where they go through your body Breathing so when we're here Easiest way is brief for every diaphragm Just that Remind yourself breathe from your diaphragm more often as we carry our emotions to a large extent up here Especially when it's life or death So we can purposely guide our emotions up here I always like to make that like it goes up your thing because it comes from our base from here to here And usually when you're exerting yourself you're gonna breathe from there anyway if it's a hundred percent It's a sprint a burpee something like that Yeah, where you're going a hundred percent you're gonna breathe from up here Okay, so what's an exercise where we can use all these that I can give you guys Well one thing I'll suggest and I Think hitting stuff is one of the best ways, but since some of you guys probably won't do that Hitting other human beings is even better right it's probably the best thing But what we'll do is we have our focus, so what is your focus one of the best things very simple easy I'm gonna just put right this down To Bada rounds who knows what to Bada rounds are Anybody what's a to Bada round? Right, so 20 seconds in the solar you pick an exercise can be squats. It could be can be whatever right? What are these types of squats called? Yeah No Never mind You can do jump squats, but whatever okay, so So whatever you act as it can be push-ups it can be burpees whatever it is But in my opinion it's got to be something where you're exerting yourself Where where you're you know your whole body's involved almost okay, but we want to Bada rounds You said was 10 20 seconds on of intense exercise with 10 seconds off So we change this and say to Bada rounds with random intervals but your Your exertion interval doesn't exceed the 20 seconds Okay, because you're talking about everything you have energetically and physically and mentally and emotionally all line Going forward at a hundred percent.  We can't sustain it That's why you don't see guys just chasing each other around the ring. Yes human beings. We can't sustain that So maybe around five ten seconds but what you want to do is get an interval timer where the rest period and the rest period can be as long as you want You'd be five minutes Okay, because we don't know the opportunity when it presents itself And I'll go back to the analogy of a street fight if I'm moving around in a long range Right now click this guy's eye doesn't kind of work. I have pot shot in there It doesn't quite work and on the next shot a neum in the groin and I see it reacts. I have to go then I'm waiting but that whole scenario might take two minutes to to happen So I have to be patient because I don't want to be in the kitchen with this guy when he's swinging So I want to be in long range. I want to inflict damage, but I don't want to go in so I have to be patient So this side of things I have to maintain that cool head and the wide focus the observance for for as long as it needs to be but when I go in This hopefully won't take any time at all. Hopefully I'll just grab Take him out one shot. Boom. He's done. Hopefully that that's what happens If I have to chase this guy with intensity and he's starting to get away from me. I have to go back So it teaches you patience So when we have the Tabata rounds Right You can pick your interval your rest interview is just lightly jumping rope like this moving on your feet Right, anyone can do that.  It sucks It really does because you don't know it's ideal if you get the timer set so that you don't know when the intervals And don't set it up yourself. Just have somebody randomly set and there's plenty of apps for it Fortunately, I don't know what app I have We do it just out of sparring That's one of the best ways because when somebody's trying to take your head off and you have to remain calm And you're actually getting hit and even when you get hit you're talking about observing where that pain goes through your body You know and still keeping a calm head and reacting to the other person You know that that's where it's at, but we don't want to get hit. I don't like I spar all the time I don't like getting hit. All right. That's for Steve Steve likes to get it so That is it as far as What we're talking about how much how much time do we have? Anybody Okay, 10 minutes. So let's let's have some Q&A and then we'll have some T&A Hi first off a really cool speech this goes a lot with it's stuff I've read but um, I'm someone who Just growing up. I was just emotionally desensitized to a lot of things just like let stuff roll over and not like worry about it Like I played football and it was I played linebackers really hard for me to get in that like killer Instinct that you were talking about which my linebacker coach talked about all the time What would you suggest to try and tap into this for someone like me who has that past? Well, I would suggest You probably need a coach you probably need somebody who is Can calibrate to your emotions to see when they come out Okay, and me as a coach. I have I have a couple guys I work a lot with with people who have very is very similar to ptsd And so your emotions are you don't want to let them out because you're afraid of what's going to happen Or it brings back the abuse again, right? It triggers all that so we keep it aside So remember the trick is to oscillate between the extremes Okay, and so if if you're stuck here and do are you a sensitive guy? Like can you feel emotions? Can you can you like do you ever cry at movies? See I can No, but that's a see you're so you're kind of stuck in the middle Right, so we need to oscillate isn't it? It's okay. We want to be able to cry at movies We want to get in touch with your friend inside and we want to be able to express ourselves and our anger right so For me to just give you an exercise this will help start to move that a little bit Okay, even if you're just just hallucinating that you're mad And that you have killer instinct will start to move it a little bit But force yourself to go through the physical part of this And and pretend at getting the feelings and that will start to move things Me as a coach like when I have a guy who's Physically he's a monster and he's had he's had some some PTSD in his life and So it's not that he doesn't have emotions actually compassionate guy But what happens is when he gets here he stops because I know he's afraid that he's gonna he's gonna kill somebody and won't have that control Okay, so what I have to do as a as a trainer is elicit those emotions out of him without him actually snapping And then the borrow that moment of when they come out and have him turn tune it back down Yeah, I need to get him mad So I see it in his face and he's like this and then I say okay Now breathe because he has to get comfortable with it and he has to know he has control Because that's that's the fear You know your fear may be that you're afraid this is going to re-trigger whatever You know from your past and so you don't want to go there. It's just something that didn't serve you in the past You know, whatever it is. I don't know but but simply doing the exercise and Trying to conjure the feelings We'll start we'll start to move you a bit, but it's not, you know, this isn't a fix-all for everyone Just this physical part. This is a very deep subject that has many implications That took me years to you know, and luckily I was exposed to the the culmination of this A guy's actually using this in life and death Death situations, but it brought me out of my shell. And so it's not This is something to help you in the limited time we have but This is the starting point for you Um for myself personally, um, I've always struggled with my killer instinct to actually just fear of it Like, um, I used to be boss around with my best mate and nearly killed him when I snapped Um, so it's always been an issue that I want to tackle I've I've sort of been about experience it in football in Australia. We don't wear the gears Just tackle and I love that Now I've done like a bit of boxing, but like if I'm with a female partner, I'm scaring the shit out of it I'm looking at a martial art to do. I think would you suggest that would be the best way for me to sort of like Tackle into it experience it and then be okay. Yeah, anything you're going to spar with Here's the thing like you um, for example on Fridays I have a ritual of wrestling with um, uh, my chiropractor. Yeah, some racket that guy has right He used to wrestle. Where do you wrestle in the brass or some Omaha something something? He's like 265 and he used to be 300 pounds a guy's strong. He's a brown belt. I'm a black belt Shit, right with this guy. So on Fridays, he and he wrestles all the time He's very good. We we go. So there is what I'm 180 right now. So whatever that disparity and weight is Plus his skill So I spend the day being on the bottom trying not to to panic like a bitch, right Because he's yeah, he can do whatever he wants to me and occasionally I'll catch him You know, I'm not that bad, but but what I do is I use that opportunity For this side if I can remain calm why I'm underneath and still keep a calm head and it's like, okay He's moving his foot there.  Because jiu-jitsu is a lot of jiu-jitsu is this side of the game There's killer instinct in it, but you don't get to express it that often You know you will more with nogi and with MMA But um anything where you can stand up and and even when you're standing up You you the you may not express this see to me jkd where we we get the helmets out And we can go full bore with with armor.  I like to you steep. I love to hit steep. Where is he? I love to hit that guy You know like he says because he'll hit me and then it pisses me off and then I get to practice all this stuff, right? So does that answer your question? Okay, good Hi Ed. Thanks for for your talk. It was very good. It seems like you do this every day So anyway, I wanted to ask what's the role of diplomacy? Like if what's the role of diplomacy? So let's say that shun su was still alive and he came and he came across the situation I wouldn't see him, you know fighting he would probably, you know, try to You know disturb his opponent or try to frame him remember. What is my definition of a street fight?   Is it worth it to go here or do I need to but then again? Shit can happen I could I can be nice to this guy and slip and fall and hit my head and now he's he's raping my wife Or whatever or now I'm dead just because of this guy So you have to treat it with the respect it deserves, but that is an individual choice. That's how I reconcile it is you know, this is this is a serious situation and You know a lot's going to have to happen in order for you know up to that point in order for me to actually fight Not always but You know to this level to this level Yeah, thanks Ed for your speech I've taken martial arts and I kind of wanted to ask you the question about Like in my in my situation you kind of taught like if you're in a fight You want to make sure that you can do what you can to stop the fight? So I haven't had a lot of training and going to like that You know as far as possible go as far as possible No mercy and and like take it there. So I was thinking for me. How do I? How do I figure that out in myself and say hey, okay? This is if I have to go there I'm able to go there even if out never trained to do that you have to train to do that Because that will give you a choice You see that's the thing is this isn't this is now a choice for me I can I have this at my disposal But that does not in any way dictate that I'm going to use this in all of my fighting experiences But I have it if I need it If you don't if you don't train it in some way, you know, if yours is specifically for martial arts Then then it may or may not be there for you You don't know because a lot of people have killer instinct. It's inborn in us But but whether whether you have the the tenacity and the skill and all that You know to express it when it needs to come out in the right way You won't know until you actually explore it. So you have to do it, but it's a choice This is not something that I believe me I've used more nlp and more hypnosis getting out of fights and I have actually fighting Right, there are plenty of ways to avoid fights That's why I have Steve and and those guys for now I just teach them and I live vicariously through them when they go in their pickup scene and I like this guy was eyeballing He's amok. I really would you do? He didn't like that. So anyway guys we're out of time So if we I'll be available available for questions or anyway, I really enjoyed it I I thank anthony and all that stuff. I hope you got something out of it and thanks. We'll see you again


Also going everyone Caleb here with late and sports cards next up tonight. I have boxes five and six for Taylor S This is gonna be here the all max sports card multi sport edition This is volume number two of the personal boxes edition box five box six. Good luck and thank you Yeah, I think so Stephen. I think so. Yeah for sure. We are on pace to you. We just grind. Yeah. Oh Wow, that's cool 2019 flawless, it's gonna be a PSA eight that is David Robinson 13 of 25 Great Bible inscription down there as well Star swatch auto patch auto there PSA eights The Admiral yeah, she's about to say Just about to say card Very cool. Like I said, it does have the Bible inscription down there as well PSA eight from flawless that is 1920 flawless Yeah, beautiful The star is kind of like a sport. It's a good point legal. I like that. Here you go, man One more here box six Bad started all see See what sport we got this time. It's the funnest part about this is the most fun parts The multi sport factor. Oh, yeah, you never quite know what you're gonna get. Yeah You never quite know Here we go. Oh nice. It's gonna be an SGA era parents. It's gonna be from 2018-19 Pineda court Kings PSA mint nine is a rookie autograph Numbered to 25 very nice rookie auto their SGA It is it's a basketball night for you. There you go see No lacrosse yet forest. There was some bowling for us. You missed that one nice And there you go. Thanks again so much. I do appreciate it. We'll have them all well protected up and right out to you Thank You Taylor


Amen. So Ephesians chapter five, of course, talking about the relationship between Christ and the church there at the end of the chapter and how that reflects on a marriage and the relationship between a man and his wife or a husband and his wife. So this sermon, similarly to the last week's sermon, is going to be a sermon that you're not going to hear too many other places. And ladies, let me just say this, if you haven't noticed, I'm pretty hard on the men in this church. And there's a lot of yelling and screaming and pounding on the pulpit, really directed at the men. And the reason for that is because when it comes to the family, when it comes to the roles in the church and the family especially, the men are the, you know, they have the leadership role. They're the responsible party. So if you're not hard on the responsible party and you're not teaching the responsible party on what to do and how to lead, you know, you're going to realize that things will go south pretty quickly. Look down there at Ephesians chapter five and look at verse 22. And the Bible says, why have submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord? For the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church. And he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. So last week I gave the ladies, the wives a pass. So you have to turn in your pass for this morning's sermon. This morning's sermon is about the submissive wife and how to be a biblical wife according to the Bible. And this is not politically correct today. So you are not going to hear this taught in the world and this is pretty much the opposite of what the world today is teaching. Turn to 1 Peter chapter three. So we see in Ephesians chapter five ladies that you are to be subject, the wives are to be subject to their husbands in everything it says in verse number 24. You say, what does that mean? Well, in everything the Bible says. Now look at 1 Peter chapter three. 1 Peter chapter three, look at verse number five for now. The Bible says, for after this matter in the old time, the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves being in subjection to their own husbands. Now turn to Colossians chapter three.  It's a direct comparison in Ephesians chapter five and the Bible says in Ephesians chapter five it's in everything, in everything, in all things. But you say, what if my husband who I'm subject to is asking me to do something that's against the Lord or against the Bible? Well look at Colossians 3 18. The Bible clarifies in a little bit more detail in Colossians 3 18. It says, wives submit yourselves under your own husbands as it is fit in the Lord. And this is of course, you know, as it is fit in the Lord. So your subject, we can take these verses together and wives, you are subject, you are to submit to your husband as it is fit in the Lord. You say, well it doesn't say that in Ephesians chapter five. Well it's talking about a direct comparison from the church to being subject to Christ, which means that it's Christ is the Lord. Okay, so as it is fit in the Lord, you are to be submissive, you are to be a subject to your husband, you are to follow your husband's leadership in everything the Bible says. So I mean, what does that mean?  Like, wives, I mean, first of all with spiritual matters, it means that you are to follow the spiritual direction of your husband. You know, so as long as, of course, as long as that spiritual direction is in line with the Bible. This is the same concept, by the way, as Romans chapter 13 being subject to the higher powers. So we are always subject to the higher powers and God is obviously our highest power. So we're to, you know, listen to the government, follow the government as long as it doesn't violate what the Bible says. If the Bible, you know, says something that the government is telling us to go against the Bible, then we don't have to follow that command. It's the same idea here as wives being subject to their husbands as it is fit in the Lord or as the church is subject to Christ. So look, ladies, wives, your husband should define the spiritual direction for your family and you should follow it. You should, I mean, it's very simple. Now here's the thing, you say I don't want to.  But here's the thing about, about subjection that you have to understand. Subjection itself means you follow somebody else's way. Means you do something that's not your way, that's somebody else's way. You may agree with it, or you may not. The Bible, I mean, look, if, if you could not be, look, if, if anybody, men or women, you know, cannot be in subjection to anyone in their life, you're going to have a very difficult life. Let me just go ahead and tell you that right now. Because, look, if you, if you can't put yourself, this is for men and women. If you have a man or a woman that can't put themselves in subjection to anybody, you're going to have a tough go at life. Let me, let me tell you that.  You say, well, you know, I don't think so. Well, I don't care what man is in this room. He is in subjection to people in his life.  You're in subjection to that leadership when it comes to matters of the church. I guarantee every single man in here, whether he owns his own business or not, is in subjection to people in his business that he does. You say, well, I own my own business. Well, don't you have customers? I mean, the customer is always right, right? You're in subjection to your customers. You're in subjection to people you do business with. Look, every single man in here would be a complete failure in his life if he could not put himself under subjection or under authority. So it's not something that your husband can't do, so why can't you do it? So look, your husband's in subjection to plenty of people.  And in his life, he's in subjection to God. Everybody is in subjection to God. So you say, here's what a lot of people will say today. Even Christian churches will teach this today. They'll say, so why can't we both, the husband and the wife, why can't we both be in subjection to God and just have this thing be 50-50? Why can't we do that? Well, here's the reason why. Okay, here's the reason why. It's because the Bible, the Bible doesn't define every specific detail of every specific situation you're going to be in. The Bible gives doctrines. The Bible gives examples of historical stories and different doctrines and philosophies and how God, look, with the Bible, we see the mind of God. We see how God feels towards us and we see how we are supposed to act on this earth. But we must apply the Bible to specific situations in our life. The Bible does not have a specific story covering every single situation you are going to run into in your marriage. You must apply doctrines of the Bible onto the situation. Example, where are you going to go to church? What church in Fresno are you going to choose to go to? The Bible does not have a list of churches in Fresno that in telling you which one to go to.  I mean, the Bible does not tell you which homeschooling curriculum to use. The Bible has very clear doctrines and very clear teaching that you should be teaching your children and teaching your children at home.  It gives you the doctrines on how to do that, but it doesn't tell you specifically which businesses and restaurants and places that you should go to and should not go to according to the standards of your family. Someone is going to have to define these types of details. Somebody has to apply these biblical concepts to everyday life and make these decisions. There needs to be a leader and look, no situation, no situation in any organization has 50-50 across the board. Everybody is in charge.  No one would even do that. Think of secular organizations. There is not a singular organization out there where everybody just has equal say in everything all the time. It's ridiculous to even think about it. A business couldn't run that way. Somebody has to be in charge. That's why men, when you go to work, you have a foreman and a superintendent and a manager and you have this hierarchy of leadership because even secular organizations have figured out that you can't just have everybody in charge of everything. It would be a disaster. It would be a mess. So look ladies, spiritually, if you have a husband, I mean churches, think of it. Church, even God, the organization that God has defined has specific leadership set up. There's entire traptors in the Bible talking about the organization of a church and who's to lead the church and who's to help the leader of the church and what can be done and what can't be done and even who the leader can be. Can the leader be a man? Can it be a woman? Can it just be anybody? No. It has to be a very specific person with very specific qualifications. So God even understands, of course, understands that organizations need leadership and in the family that leader is the man. So look ladies, if you have a man, a husband, who is leading and choosing the spiritual direction for your family, you have a gem on your hands, first of all. Embrace that. Here's the thing, at least after today, you're going to know what the Bible says and it wouldn't be submission or subjection if it was just all your way. That would be you leading. If it was just everything that you wanted to do all the time and that's what you did, that's not submission. That's not subjection at all. That's leading and the Bible says that's your husband. Let's look at matters of the home. The husband should define the vision for the household. Remember last week, what is his vision for the household?  He doesn't have one. Well, maybe you should encourage him to get one. Look at Proverbs 31. You should encourage him and then when you get this vision, his vision for the family, you should support it and get behind it. Look at Proverbs 31 talking about the virtuous woman. Now here's the thing about the virtuous woman. Look at verse 11 of Proverbs 31. We're talking about the virtuous woman, the woman that the Bible is teaching about here that all women and all wives should strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman. Look at what the Bible says about her in verse 11. It says the heart of her husband doth safely trust in her so that he shall have no need of spoil.  So as your husband is leading the family, let me tell you something about leaders. Every single leader needs people that he can trust. Every single leader needs people he can count on. He needs someone as your husband's leading his family. He needs a spouse. He needs a wife that he knows has his back and that's this man in Proverbs 31. He knows that his wife supports him. She has his back and his heart is just completely trusting in her. As I told you with the leader, you know, last week a good leader will take somebody who's weak and make them strong. That's what a good leader will do. A good wife a good wife will strengthen her husband even when he is weak. That's what a good wife will do and that's what the wife of Proverbs 31 is doing. Look, a bad wife will attack her husband in moments when he is down.  Is your husband going to make every single decision in the correct way? No, he's not. He's not. Which means that, you know, he's going to make mistakes. There's going to be times when your husband is up and there's going to be times when your husband is down in his role in leading the family. But look, a bad wife and a wife who is not the Proverbs 31 woman is someone who would attack in those moments. Who would push him down. He would be in a weak moment and she would push him down further. But the Proverbs 31 woman was someone who would take her husband when he was in a down situation and lift him up. You know, maybe, I mean just practically speaking, maybe his business is not doing well. Maybe he did make some decisions in business that just things just aren't going well with the way he decided to go. You know, a good wife would encourage and support him in those times. And guess what? Guess what? As a man who's been down times in his life before, he will remember those times. He will remember this is how men operate. Here's a window into the mind of men. Men operate. First of all, I appreciate the times in my life. Looking back, I didn't appreciate them at the time, but I appreciate the times in my life when I was down. My wife and I talk about this a lot, that we're glad we had those times where maybe finances weren't good. We're glad looking back on those times that we were going through difficult situations. But let me tell you something about men. Men will remember who was with them and who was not with them when they're down. Because guess what? It's easy to be supportive and follow somebody who's just up all the time. That's why you find all these rich celebrities. They just have tons of friends all the time. All these super rich people. They just have tons of people that want to be around them all the time. Because they're up. But look, when people like that get down, there's nobody there. Everybody flees. What's important and how you know who you can really trust. And this is a super important point for a marriage. As your husband leads and he leads through spiritual matters and he leads through supporting the family and he leads through all these situations, there's going to be times where maybe he gets laid off. Or maybe finances are really tough and maybe he can't find a job where he made as much money as he used to make and maybe things are really struggling right now.  Just as Proverbs 31 says. Because that's who you find out. That's who men find out who they can trust. And that will draw him closer to you. This man in Proverbs 31, he knew that his wife was with him through thick and thin, no matter what. Up or down, she's with me. That's where his heart was at. And he's like, and this guy, he's like, keep the rubies. She's priceless. That's what he was like. And that's, look, that's the power ladies that you have.  So that means that, no, that is a huge role for you to support your husband and to be that force that can prop him up through tough times. That is vision for the family. He is to define the vision for the children. He is to define the vision for their schooling. He is to define the vision for the provisions for the finances of the family. Down to what we eat for supper, your husband can define this level of vision. Help him realize this vision for your family. That's your role. See, the world out there, especially today will tell you to compete with your husband.  But look, the things that you do will show your support for his agenda. And for, you know, or you could be bitter at his role and see how that works. And try to take it away from him. That's not what the Bible teaches. That's what the world teaches. This is not like what the world is teaching is not God's plan. It's against it. And look, here's the thing. I don't know how many times I've said this and how many different sermons, but you know, you're best if you just do it God's way. Just do it God's way. Get on his plan and help him with it. If you have ideas, look, if you have ideas, ask him. Ask your husband. Hey, I have ideas. That's support. That's supporting him. You know, don't just take matters into your own hands.  There's leadership here. You know, you can't just take matters into your own hands in the church. Look, it's the same at home, ladies. If you have ideas, bring it up to your husband. He's in charge. It will show, and that's another thing. That will show your submission to his authority. That will show your, you know, respect for his authority. Look, ladies, it's a heavy burden to be in charge. It is a heavy burden to be in charge, especially in difficult times. Help him with it. And show that you are submissive to him and you are subject to him. He doesn't need to have this burden of leadership and also have a wife that is not subjected to him and competing with him. That's not supporting him. That's weighing him down. Turn to Ephesians 5. I really have two points.  Period.  He is in charge. And as it is fit in the Lord, you are to just do what he says. It's very simple. Help him. Support him. Look, you can be very good at this. And you can help him succeed. Turn to Ephesians 5. My second point is this. It's the verse of the week on your bulletin. Look at verse 33. Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself. And the wife see that she reverents her husband. So the second point I want to make tonight or this morning is that ladies, you are to reverence your husband. Not only you need to be in subjection to him, but you are to reverence him. What does that mean? Reverence. The definition means a deep respect for someone. Look, the position of the husband, of the leader of the family is a position that the Bible says the wife is to reverence. You are to reverence your husband. And now look, it's super interesting because I've heard this said so many times, like just a secular statement that I don't know if you've heard this before, but women desire love and affection, and men desire respect. I mean, I've heard that said so many times, but isn't that interesting that Ephesians 5.33 that statement that I've heard so many times, it's true. Women want to feel loved and they want to feel like their husband cares about them and their husband is focused on them and is affectionate towards them. This is what women want. Men want respect. That's what men want. That's what you will see men hunting their whole life for. That's what you'll see men out in the business world. They want respect. And most men out in the business world, they want respect so badly and it drives them crazy because they can't get it. They don't know how to get it. They're out there and they're demanding that people respect them. This is the boss that gets the job and in two weeks he's saying you have to listen to me because I'm the boss. Don't you know I'm in charge here. You know look, if I have to tell you that I'm in charge here, that means I've completely lost control of the situation. You don't demand respect, but the Bible says that your husband that a wife is supposed to respect and reverence her husband, which is interesting because what Ephesians 533 is telling us is that we're to do these things that our conscience already wants. Our conscience as a man, my conscience wants my wife to respect me. That's what I want. That's what my need is. As a woman, the Bible says my wife wants me to love her. To show my love for her. The Bible is telling us exactly what we want in Ephesians 533. It's actually giving us the medicine to feed what we actually are wired to desire. Does that make sense? So Ephesians 5 means it's another perfect example of the Bible being a miracle. That it just completely fits what we need. But here's what's interesting. Women, you're to respect your husband. Show reverence towards him. And look, this means that you're to do that whether you feel like it or not. Turn to 1 Peter 3. So let me ask you this. Let me ask you this in two ways. First of all, let's talk about your speech. Let's talk about your speech because the Bible actually is very specific on this in 1 Peter 3 and starting in verse 1. Let me ask you a question ladies. How do you speak to your husband? How do you speak to your husband? Do you speak to your husband in a respectful way? Look at 1 Peter 1. Look at what the Bible says here. Likewise, you wives be in subjection to your own husband. Same thing we've been talking about. That if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. Now, when it says if any obey not the word, that's talking about the husband. We'll get to that in a minute. But it says that there'll be won by the conversation of the wives. While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear, just underline every time there's something that says something about speaking here. Verse 3. Who's adorning? Let it not be the outward adorning of plating of hair and a wearing of gold or putting on of apparel. But let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible. Even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is the right sight of God of great, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner, in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection onto their own husbands even as Sarah obeyed Abraham. It says she was in subjection to Abraham. And then what kind of example does it give here? Calling him Lord. Whose daughters he are as long as you do well and are not afraid with any amazement. It's super interesting here that we are talking about holy women that are in subjection to their husbands. And it is almost completely focused on their conversation. It is almost completely focused on how they speak to their husband in 1 Peter chapter 3. The words that these women speak is brought up like five different times in the passage that I just wrote you. It's used as an example as the example in 1 Peter chapter 3 of showing that these women are in subjection to their husbands. Meaning that if you speak to your husband in a certain way, it can be viewed that you are not in subjection to him. Meaning that the holy women who are in subjection to their husbands. Think of Sarah. I mean Sarah, do you think that Sarah in her life, do you think that she did any great things for the Lord? I mean I'm thinking probably. You know I mean she probably did some amazing things for the Lord in her life. But what is the thing that the Bible brings up? The one thing that the Bible brings up about Sarah here in the New Testament is that she was respectful to her husband. She was subject to her husband and she spoke to him in a tone of reverence calling him Lord. I'm not saying your wife needs to call you Lord or you need to call your husband Lord but that is the example that the Bible is using to show that Sarah was in subjection to Abraham. How she what? How she spoke to him. So how do you speak to your husband? Let's talk about how do you speak to your husband ladies. Does this sound like you? That you're just super respectful to your husband as the church is subject to Christ. Is that how you speak to your husband? I mean is that it? Because look I'm guessing that this is the problem with becoming casual with each other by the way. This is the problem as you're married for years and years and years. This is a problem with dating by the way too. A huge problem with dating. These teenagers or young people that date they get too casual with each other. And pretty soon before they even get into marriage this reverence is lost already. It's lost. So I mean back to husbands and wives don't get too casual with each other. Because you know don't act because pretty soon you're going to start treating each other like your roommates and buddies. And the problem is that being too casual first of all being casual in general is pretty much always a bad thing. It's always better to be more formal. Always better. But in a marriage here's the problem with being too casual.  You'll start to lose this reverence. Your husband will stop feeling this reverence. And look your marriage will suffer from being too casual with each other and your husband will not even know why he's unhappy with you. But if you're just speaking to your husband like he's your buddy or you know he's like just your friend or something like this and you're getting way too casual with him. He's going to start thinking that you're not reverencing him. You're not being subject to him anymore and look he will not like it. He may not even know why he doesn't like it but he will look at it. He will begin to look at it as disrespect. And ultimately he'll think that you don't appreciate him. You're saying oh just being casual. Yeah I mean just being casual with him like you know you're not ever surprised to see him or happy to see him or anything like that. You speak and the way that you act. Look on the contrary ladies you should treat your husband.  That's how you should speak to your husband and that will keep that level of respect that you're supposed to have for him. Let me give you an example. When is the last time ladies men relax. Ladies when is the last time for your husband to get home and you met him at the door and you gave him a hug and a kiss and said I appreciate you working so hard for us. How long would that take? I don't know three seconds. When's the last time that you did that? When's the last time that you got up in the morning when he got up early and you got up and you gave him a hug and a kiss goodbye and said thanks for working so hard for our family. When is the last time that you did that? Look those I'm telling you for your husband those are those priceless moments. That will define his entire day. That is where the husband will be like forget the rubies my wife is priceless. The wife that makes that effort to have that type of conversation those type of actions that show that reverence towards her husband. But look it takes effort. It takes effort. It's not just accidentally that that's going to happen. You have to actually have just like it takes your husband effort to show his love towards you. Your husband is not showing love towards you by being to himself like man I really love my wife thinking to himself. No he's going to go out and take some action that shows that love towards his wife. In the same manner also to show reverence to your husband it's going to be some work. It's going to take some sacrifice. Look it takes effort for your husband to lead the home. It takes effort. It's the same thing for you. It takes effort for your husband to find a good church for you. That takes effort to define the boundaries of the family to define standards to support and define the visions that it has for you and the kids. It actually takes effort in the same way to show reverence to your husband. Are you making that effort? Is the question this morning. Are you making that effort for your husband? Because look these things look these things these things are not going to happen on accident. This is what it takes to have a great marriage folks. This is what it takes. I mean you I mean get married forever. Get divorced. I can stand up here. Divorced is bad. But how about this? How about we not shoot for the lowest common denominator. And we actually try to as men do what we're supposed to be doing as men and realize that the Bible what the Bible is telling us to do as men is go out and take some effort that would not naturally come to us if we weren't reading the Bible.  But the Bible says I should do this so just do it. How about we strive for great marriages and we not strive for just hey I've been married for 75 years and it was a nightmare the entire time. I know people like that. At the funeral they're like they didn't get divorced. They were miserable and they tortured each other for 70 years. How about we try to have great marriages. I mean it's not rocket science but it takes effort. That's the problem. That's the problem. It takes effort on both sides. You may not feel like doing it all the time. You may not feel like reverencing your husband. You may not feel like showing love to your wife but that's what you're supposed to do if you want to have a great marriage. And you know what just as being married to somebody for 50, 60 years and it being the most miserable time you could ever have on any planet anywhere just as that could be the case a great marriage could be the best blessing you'll ever have on this earth. I mean what in the world? Path A, path B. Who would not choose this? But it takes a little bit of effort. Just do it God's way. It's not going to happen on accident. So singles I don't want you to feel left out. So we see that you need to be in subjection to your husband. You just need to follow his leadership. You need to encourage him to lead.  He's not really leading in this area. Maybe bring it up in a respectful way and say hey could you help define a plan for us here? I'm really struggling here and encourage him to lead in the areas that he's not. Lift him up in areas where he's weak. Make him strong in areas where he's weak. By supporting him. By having his back no matter what he's going through. Just be supportive of him and be in subjection to him and then show him reverence. It's not a feeling that you have.  It's not just oh I respect him. No you have to show that. So singles. Single ladies. Let me just say this. Single ladies. First of all your future husband is going to lead you. Your future husband is going to lead you in everything. As it is fit in the Lord. So you need to remember this single ladies. That you don't need to just be out there looking for a pretty face. Or looking for a good job. Or whatever that you think that you should be looking for. Because look you're going to be according to the Bible.  And here's a problem with single ladies. Single ladies have this disease or whatever it is. This chronic condition that thinks I can fix anything. They'll find some guy and maybe they really want to be married and they're like yeah but you know he's got a drinking problem or he doesn't go to church and all this. But you know I can fix him. You know let go of this. Let go of this attitude. You need to find one. Here's some risk management for your entire life. Single ladies. Find one that's fixed already. Because ladies they have this idea that they can fix him. And that could cost you your entire life. Because look you're to follow. You're to be in subjection to the person that you marry. You're not in subjection to him yet. In subjection until you marry him. But look. Marrying them and then deciding to not follow them because they're not getting fixed like you thought that they would. That's not an option. That's not an option. Which leads me to you know my last point here is that what if my husband is not doing his job. What if you marry somebody that you thought you could fix and he's not fixable. The point is this you are to do your job anyway. That's why single ladies you need to be careful who you marry. You need to marry your spiritual equal. You need to be equally yoked the Bible would say.  To be in your role anyway. Notice as we talked about husbands and wives there was never any clause in these statements that says as long as he does his part or husbands love your wives as long as she does this. Or wives reverence your husband as long as he does this. No there's no clause like that. As a matter of fact go back to 1 Peter chapter 3 as a matter of fact quite the opposite is what the Bible says. The Bible actually gives an example of a husband who's not doing what he's supposed to do and tells the wife what she's supposed to do anyway. Look at 1 Peter chapter 3 and look at verse number 1 likewise he wives be in subjection to your own husbands that if any obey not the word. Look this is a husband who's not doing what he's supposed to do. It says if any husband obey not the word. They may also move out the word be one by the conversation of the wives. The Bible here is saying is that hey if you want to help your husband get right if he's not following the Bible you want to help him get right here's what you do. You still be in subjection to him. You still you know have reverence towards him in specifically conversation here the Bible is saying and that that will win him over. That is your best chance at winning him over yet here's what you'll see women do. My husband's not doing what he's supposed to do so I'm going to nag him to death.  You know what you're going to end up with?  You're going to end up with a husband who's in the attic of the house. You say where's my husband well you know he ran away you say he's not doing the right thing he says you know still have reverent conversation still be in subjection to him. You do your job anyway and that goes for the husbands too. That goes for the husbands too.  You still love her. You still show your love towards her. That is your best chance at getting her to get right with God. You do your job anyway. You do your job anyway. Which brings me to finally just the last thing I want to say here. You have to forget and I think that even us even us I can see it in certain places but I think even us in this church as much as we teach separation as much as we practice separation I think that we're still influenced by the world. That's what I think. I think that we're still influenced by the world you know because the world teaches here the world is like the world is going 120 miles an hour against what I'm teaching you this morning in the opposite direction. They're teaching that you need to compete with your husband that you need to have control of your husband.  What they're really teaching is that the woman should be in charge. The Bible says it's your husband. The media I mean in a world I mean just think of the media. Think of the media the world in this media from TV shows to movies to whatever you see on TV or YouTube. It's the man is always the bad guy.  He's a weakling.   He's the butt of all the jokes. All this stuff is a worldly attack on the male headship of the home that the Bible is teaching. It's very effective. Then the woman in all these sitcoms or TV shows or whatever she comes in.  There's entire shows that are just based on that right there.  But here's the thing folks, it's not about intelligence. My wife is way smarter than I am. It's not about intelligence. It's about the position that God has put you in in the family and the structure of the family. I mean it has nothing to do with intelligence. God wasn't like the women aren't as smart as the men so the men need to be in charge. No. No. He made the man in charge and then he put a support structure in there for him because being in charge takes a lot of support. To the point where if you have no support many times leadership will fail. It's a super important role. I remember there was a news story ten or more years ago and I remember just showing my wife this news story it was a secular news story. It was like a 60 minutes or a date line one of these hour long shows and it was this story about this family it was about this husband and this wife and they were constantly the story was this. It was not religious.  Nothing to do with the Bible nothing to do with anything. Just a secular marriage where it was about to fall apart and the woman just said you know what she's like I can't handle it anymore I'm just submitting to his authority. She came to this conclusion by herself and the news story the 60 minutes news story it was like it was just like they had found a unicorn and she decided to just follow everything that this moron you know wants it to do in their marriage and it's like in this story the story works out like the Bible said it would work out these people weren't saved but here she submitted to the authority of her husband the marriage just flipped on its head just like that and like suddenly the marriage was way better and but the news story was still like how could she do this? But you talk to the couple they interview the couple these things are great we're just loving our marriage we're just falling in love again and all that I mean the whole thing and they're just like but she just listens to everything that he says you know the reporters like can you believe this I mean it was just this huge bias story against this because they couldn't believe that some woman would make this decision look that's what the Bible says she just accidentally made a choice that was in line with the Bible and it basically saved her family and all of a sudden his business went around and all this stuff and it was funny because it wasn't the point of the story at all but I recognized it as you know just being the right thing that she needed to do but I mean to the world this is crazy when I'm teaching you this morning when I'm teaching you this morning she just decided to submit and to let him lead and the story was just fascinated that they now had a happy marriage you know I mean it was crazy look folks try it God's way try it God's way because when you get outside God's plan it's all gonna come apart when you get outside that plan it's a major theme in the Bible that applies to most things I say from the pulpit here but here's one last thought for you ladies one last thought for you this morning this may shock you but did you know that your husband did not write the Bible you're like what your husband you say what do I mean by that first of all what I mean by that is that your husband did not write the Bible so at any point in your life at any area in your life where you're saying you know what I agree 90% of the time look first of all if you're just doing things that you agree with that's not submission I've already said that and this 10% area I'm just not going to go along with him on your husband didn't write the Bible you're not disobeying your husband you're disobeying God I mean that look you're all saved you all believe the Bible I just want to throw that out there something to just think about you are not in every single area where you are not submitting to your husband by the way I don't think that it's a 5% area I think that if you're not submitting in 5% or 10% of the area you're not submitting at all because you're going along with everything you agree with and then the areas you don't agree with you're not submitting meaning you're not submitting at all because submitting means you know what they want to do it that way I don't agree but I'm in submission to this we're going to do it that way as it is fit in the Lord so your husband didn't write the Bible you're not disobeying him you're disobeying God keep that in mind you know what the Bible says everybody here knows what the Bible says doctor it's not your husband you're disobeying so reverence your husband being in subjection to your husband but look support him it's a hugely important role look if it wasn't an important role ladies and that's another thing that really really irritates me about what the world is teaching because they teach that being in subjection to your husband is some low thing no no the woman who is supporting her husband the children and teaching the children and putting this look she's saving the next generations she is she is sealing the next generations of Christians in this world what is the most important thing to you husband and wife it's probably your children it's probably that they grow up and they get saved and they have children who get saved I mean this is what a supportive wife who's in subjection to her husband's vision will produce it's impossible for a man to go to work every day and support his family and lay out a vision and have a wife who won't support that vision and get generational results it's impossible it's a hugely important role there is nothing low about it you can argue that it's the most important role that she's at home and she is the one that's going to make those generational decisions and she's going to do that work and that labor of carrying that vision through to the next generation look it's huge that's why Proverbs 31 says it's far above rubies it's priceless is what the Bible is saying you are priceless to your husband but you have to do it God's way let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer