Hey y'all, what's up? My name is Sonali and today I'm going to be doing a full face of Glossier products I am so freaking excited to announce that this video is actually sponsored by Glossier, but all the opinions are my own I've been using some of the products for a couple weeks now and some of the other products are going to be my first impressions I'm going to be including my top six favorite products from Glossier at the end of this video So if you guys are watching this video to find out what you absolutely must buy from Glossier Feel free to skip to the end of the video, but I will say all these products are so good It was really really hard for me to narrow it down So if you guys are new to the brand I highly recommend watching the whole video just to see all the products that they do have All right y'all, let's get started I have so many products to share with you all and I know this video is going to be long already So I'm going to try to get through the products quickly So the first product we are going to try is a face mask This one is called the moisturizing moon mask. It is the soothing face treatment So it says apply a thick layer to moist skin and allow to soak in for 20 minutes I am going to get started on this and then I might not wait the full 20 minutes But I'll try to wait at least 15 so we can you know see how it really sinks into the skin I really love using brushes to apply face masks because I Definitely feel like you can apply it more evenly So you can use like an old makeup brush or anything you have really lying around So my face is super duper dry. So that's why I did pick out the moisturizing face mask I know that they have another one. I'm not sure what it does But if you are more oily, maybe you could check that one out too So I'm gonna wait up to 20 minutes rinse it off come back and let you guys know how it feels So I actually went the full 20 minutes and a little bit over And I just rinsed the mask off It was kind of hard to wash off just because it almost felt like a jelly on my face So I feel like if I use like a washcloth it totally would have been like came off way faster But I was just using my hands. I can tell that my skin it feels a lot smoother And when I was looking in the mirror, I noticed that it also looked a little bit more even like just the color So next we're going to go into a serum This is the Glossier Super Glow vitamin C Magnetium serum this says it brightens and energizes dull tired skin I feel like I need this because it woke up super early today The next one is definitely in my top five favorites This is the future do oil serum hybrid if you guys are black Friday shopping you definitely need to pick this up especially if you are super dry and Honestly, if you are a little bit oily, it just gives you a really nice glow So you could probably use it too, and it's just beautiful packaging So good now that that is done we are going to get into Dang this might be another top five favorite of mine. Um, I haven't used this too many times But the times that I've tried this it is amazing. It's just they're rich cream So it's just a really really thick base cream and it smells so freaking good So the next product I have is the bomb calm. I've been hearing so many good things about this I've been using these for the past week, and I really really like them I mean my lips literally need hydration every like two to three hours And some people don't even have to wear chapstick like at all during the day I'm one of those people that have Chapsticks and little lip balm like everywhere so I got two so I can have one of my purse and then just like one in my house You're like one in the car or something I got the mint bomb calm and the mango bomb calm mince obviously just meant super normal and the mango It's mostly those high chew candies if you guys know what I mean So the first thing I like to do on my makeup routine is brows I like to get it over with because it just takes so long and I have to be so precise So I have the brow flick and brown I didn't want to get in black just because I didn't know if it would be too harsh So I just went with a brown, and then I have the white brow in black And we're gonna go in with the brow flick first I like to start at the arches and just fill those in then I go under the arch and Fill that in and I'm just doing like super tiny strokes because that is the best way to apply this product Next I'm gonna go in with boy brow And this just helps to keep your brows in place throughout the whole day because I know some of my hairs can go a little crazy sometimes So we're just gonna brush this through pretty lightly I kind of like brushing my eyebrows a little bit up just to give like that more natural look My brows might look a little bit dark right now But it's gonna get better when I start applying more makeup especially mascara So this product is the invisible shield daily sunscreen, and I'll be honest with you guys I've had this product for about like a month now, and I think I probably only used it once to try it out It's a great product, but it's just so hard for me to remember to put sunscreen on and I know it's super freaking important So I'm going to start making it a habit when I do my makeup and you know, even when I don't Some days I don't even leave the house. So Forget I guess So now we are actually getting to makeup the next product is the stretch concealer And I think this color is a little bit too light for me So I definitely could have gone up a shade this color is G7 So if you guys are my color, maybe get a shade darker definitely not my color and that is what we're gonna Use it under so I can hide my dark circles I'm actually just gonna apply this to my lids because I feel like this could be a really good eye shadow primer.  We do it that way rather than fingers, but Anything works next we have glossies perfecting skin tint, and I'm a little bit worried about this I have tried it once But I have more of a full coverage gal. I will say so anything just like light lighter coverage just like a skin tint to BB cream that all just kind of like worries me even though my skin's not that bad But I just feel like whenever I do, you know, take the time to do my makeup I feel like I want full coverage. So I'm gonna try to build it up as much as I can and see How that works, I think I'm just gonna use my fingers for this This is in the color g5, and I think this is a really really good match to my skin So if you guys are my color then g5 is the one I feel like I just have to get used to this lighter foundation because I Really only need my skin to be like evened out I feel like that's what I struggle with the most It's just really just random patches of lightness and darkness This definitely did the job of evening out my skin tone So I feel like this could be great for people who are Beginners at makeup or just don't really need full coverage if you're younger, too I think this would be perfect for y'all the next product is very very well-known at glossier and it is the cloud paint This is in the color storm. I do have the color dust It is more of like a peachy color, but unfortunately didn't really show up on my skin So I decided to go with the color storm this time I feel like it's super easy to Kind of go overboard, especially if you squeeze out a little bit too much of the product So be careful of that definitely make sure you don't put too much on your beauty blender or your fingers As you can tell I have a couple of glow spots Where I don't want them so I'm gonna go in with their louder and this is the color g5 through g7 So I'm gonna go in with a brush Just pat away my glow spots Now that I'm out of five from the water I have this little guy and this is the lid star in the color herb and I Visited the glossier pop-up here in Austin, Texas I was captivated by this color like it kind of like looks gold on camera But it's kind of this green color. It's so friggin pretty and I just felt like I would never wear it But I actually tried it out and it's kind of like more sheer. So it is very wearable I'm just gonna lay some brown matte colors on my eyelids and then put herb on my lid So I'm just gonna blend this out a little bit with a fluffy brush Next we have eyeliner and I have the newest product from glossier This is the pro tip and I'm obsessed with this this just feels so good when I lay it down on my lid I can't really explain it. I think it's just like the longer tip and it's a brush tip not a felt tip And it's just so good guys. It's very buildable. It doesn't smudge at all And this is definitely my top five um and then we have the color slide in brown And this is just a eyeliner pencil So I think I'm gonna have to go with the pro tip because it's my favorite and Because it is kind of just like a more dramatic look. So I think we're gonna go for this one I decided today's not the day to embarrass myself in front of y'all So I'm gonna opt out of doing a cat eye, but we are gonna move into mascara I'm gonna be using the lash slick from glossier. I love ones like this It just separates your lashes so so well and it applies a coat very evenly I forgot I need to curl my lashes before and then we can Next we have highlighters this one is the haloscope and this one is the night shine I feel like everyone talks about the haloscope But I am obsessed with the night shine because it's just a little bit more highlighting and I honestly never really wear Highlights, so I am going to swatch it for you guys There we go. So that's kind of like a sheer glow and then the night shine is some intense stuff so that's a little bit more intense and So I'm gonna go with the night shine because I feel like I want to be a little bit glowier today This product is really cool because it has like a don't put applicator and I feel like not many highlights do Right over here. We'll see we'll see what that looks like first and then we can add on I think I'm gonna do a haloscope on my nose. I don't usually highlight my nose I mean like I said, I don't really use highlighter very often. So just kind of playing around today I kind of like that Especially because I have not contouring my nose today. So That is a must. I feel like my nose highlight doesn't look oily at all. It doesn't feel oily. All right, so now is Lipstick time I have jam and I have Leo and I'm gonna swatch these for you guys too I'm sorry. I didn't swatch all the other products, but Kind of forgot All right, so this is jam I'm so sorry.  I did it right over lip start Okay, there we go. Trying again There we go. Okay.  I love love love this color So I'm gonna go in it with Leo today. It is a buildable lipstick because it is sheer so You might have to go over the lip a couple of times now it is time to set the face so I'm gonna use the soothing face mist in rose water spray and Bring it all over my face. It has a really faint spray So you kind of have to bring in a little bit closer The last thing is probably my all-time favorite glossy a product This is the lip gloss just in clear and it is so Moisturizing it's not really like sticky feeling. I don't know how to describe it I guess but it is just the perfect finishing touch and I Suss at this lip gloss. Sometimes I wear this gloss without any lipstick just because I like the look of it But we are finished with my look Gonna take my hair down. Oh, look at that. Hi This is my completed look using a full face of glossier products And the last thing I want to do is share with you guys my top five favorites of Glossier and things that you have to buy on Black Friday because they're gonna have a really really great sale And if you're watching this after Black Friday, still get these products because they're not good Just kidding. It's gonna be a top six because I couldn't choose So the first product you probably guessed it is the lip gloss. It is just so good. Like I said, it's not really sticky It's just so Moisturizing and it gives the perfect finishing touch my second all-time favorite from glossier is this future-do oil serum hybrid I feel like I can use this if I'm not really wearing makeup and just have a Super beautiful glowing look and also feel moisturized speaking of being moisturized My third favorite is this priming moisturizer in rich So there are two and there is a buildable hydrating cream and there is rich and I love Love love the rich because like I said, I don't know how many times I'm gonna say this but I do have really dry skin So having a rich cream on my face just really really helps me out My fourth favorite is the pro tip in black. This eyeliner is so freaking good I just feel like this eyeliner was made for me because it just rests on my eyelid so well I feel like other eyeliner tips are just maybe shorter I don't know what it is about this eyeliner, but it's just so good It's very very black and it doesn't smudge at all my fifth favorite has to be this bomb calm skin Solve and it doesn't actually just have to be used for your lips You can use it really anywhere else that you're really dry And this really gonna come in handy for the winter months last but not least my sixth favorite is the boy brow in black I really just enjoy this product because it just keeps my brows in place all freaking day So that wraps up this video if you guys live in Austin the pop-up is still open until December 8th this year So get to it. Also, if you guys are interested in any of these products They will be listed all down below So you guys can just click the link and shop and I'll be sure to put more info about the black Friday So they're having because y'all don't want to miss out Like if you guys are gonna buy glossier buy on black Friday because they're gonna have a really really good sale So I'll say I hope y'all enjoyed my full face of glossier and I will see y'all in my next video. Bye


So growing up as a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Because you were exposed to that life at a young age, but I'm sure that's not. Yeah, I had a good childhood and stuff, but I always thought about money. I always wanted money. I was like a gold digger just to keep it 100 and funky with you. I was born a gold digger with a shovel in my hand. So you know what I'm saying? I mean, my goal of 50 cent, you know, that's my main man. You know, may he hear this, you know what I'm saying? He told me, he said, can I was bragging to him one day. We were shooting the PRP video. I was here, nigga. Yeah, Pimp, Seth holds down. Nigga's biggest show ever, nigga. You know what I'm saying? You got the right nigga here and 50 looked at me said, can. Do it again. And I said, what do you mean? Do it again. He said, you only get one time to be that nigga. You know what I mean? So what I got from that is that you got to reinvent yourself. That's all right. So ever since I met him, I've been reinventing myself. And I think that that's the part of the game that a lot of nicks missed. You know what I'm saying?  I said, I got to go to the next level. You know what I'm saying? Then I started getting into real estate and today cares, you know, made millions in that game.  Then I said, man, let me go do something different. Then I went to Dallas and opened up me a store up there. Sure, then bought a lot of property in Texas. You know, bought a house in Richardson. You know what I'm saying?  You know what I'm saying? Came here and came to Atlanta, started to hip hop fraternity. So I'm always reinventing myself. You know what I mean? And that's how you stay relevant.  When you play out, you got to know how to flip and go to another level. And I think that that's, you know, one of the things that I learned. So when, you know, when I tell people about the game, it's about transition and showing like, yeah, maybe, you know, when I was payment, I got millions.  You know what I'm saying? When niggas went platinum, got platinum CDs.  You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying?  I'm the one that came through with the Rolls-Royce is the Maserati.  If you know what a hundred thousand dollar bus down was, I live like an NBA player off the game. So the game went bad to me.  You know what I'm saying? Because because they can't wrap their brain around it. A lot of motherfuckers got a ton of this.   You know what I'm saying?  And I said, man, that's what you do. Man, go in the strip club.   The bitch got to pad up feet on the concrete, man.  I don't want it, man. So I'm sending these niggas all the time. I'm giving them money, but they don't understand. Nigga, you know what I'm saying? Nigga, I'm trying to get you the game. You know what I'm saying? Man, and they just, they just, they couldn't take it like a fish can't take it to the earth. The hustle month. Yes. Man, you know, you went through a lot.  Was y'all married? I'm gonna leave that in the book. Okay. But I just, but, but I mean, just, just, well, give me a spiel on what, what can we talk about?  Cause. Oh yeah. That's how she do it. Yeah. Because. You know that already. Yeah, I know your story cause I got that out of you. I need your story. Me being exposed to the game. Everything growing up, you know. Yeah, but I don't, I don't feel sorry for myself. It's just, this is the cards I was dealt with. Like this is who I seen coming up. You know, pimps, players, baller, shot, where were you born? Sacramento, California, Sacramento, California, Northern California, with your mother, with my mother working three jobs, but I have brothers that are teenagers.  So I have brothers and sisters that are far apart. Yes. And a sister that was pregnant at the same time when my mom was pregnant, she was 18. But you would think that cause when your mom have you older, she has more tolerance. She know a lot about raising a child and so forth. But she was busy cause, you know, my father. Where was he? He was absent in my life, but he was there for the older teenagers. So I probably was like, keep that man by having a baby, but it didn't work. My dad, my mom and so you didn't spend no time with you. None. At all. But you knew him. You knew who he was. I knew who he was. He was just, I seen him like one time and it was, you know, he, it was crazy because how old were you when you saw him that one time? I was like about seven years old. And you remember that? And I remembered it so good, but my, my heart was crushed because he treated me different than the other children because he tried to accuse my mom for having a relationship and saying that I wasn't his child, but he knew I was cause me and my sister are ghetto twins. We 14 months apart. We look like twins, but he was doing that to mess with my mom, but not knowing that it affects children. Exactly.  Right. My mom didn't leave me with, you know, Pastor Jenkins down the street, you know, and, um, so I got a lot of game, you know, at a young age, I, I learned how to speak ism.  So as, so growing up as a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Cause you were exposed to that life at a young age, but I'm sure that's not, I was at a good, you know, childhood and stuff, but I always thought about money. I always wanted money. I was like a gold digger just to keep it 100 and funky with you.  You know what I mean? But this ism is a religion to me. You know, and, um, it's a religion. The ism is a religion to me, you know, because I was raised on it and seeing how much money came from it. And, um, it, you know, I had a good childhood. I was, you know, in drill team and cheerleader, but I always was a snooty, my duty, you know what I'm saying?  He's so funny because I saw a post on Instagram. I don't, I don't, I didn't share that with you. And it was a show. They were interviewing people on the streets and they interviewed this two young ladies and were asking them what kind of guys they would talk to. And one of them said, if you don't have money, well, for her didn't have money or in a gang because her brothers, like what you're saying is so just the same way. Spoil me. They give me this, this, this, this. So if you can't come with it, don't even try to step and rain. Exactly the same way. Rain wash. You don't get it. I get it. And I can, I can accept that. I don't need no sit down with Ayanna Van Zandt. You don't see him because I know who I am and I know where I came from. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Yeah. Some people always feel like the way how you turn up is always like they're looking for the traumatic thing that happened to you when you were younger. Nothing, never. I had my refrigerator stay full, but like some people, they would be like, I'll be like, come over my house to play. They'd be like, mm, mm, like they're going to walk in the door and just come out of home.  And but it was money and nice cars and everything. And it wasn't no raids at the house or none of that.  But you don't want to come to my house. And we can eat all the food we want.  But you talking about all of the good things are the things that you saw, which is the money and the cars and stuff that, you know, you glorified. You glorified it. Yes. But I'm sure with all of that comes the bad stuff, too. Yes. So did you not see all of that? Abusive relationships. Yeah. People get arrested. People passing away dying in a shot. But you didn't see that? You hear about abuse a lot of times. Of course we did. Of course I did. But you didn't care about it? That means I mean, like, it's where you live. You know what I'm saying? I was raised around pimps, ballers, hoes, boosters, scammers. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's what we looked up to, you know? It was some simps around there. There's some simps and trisics or resound is there. But you know what I'm saying? For the most part. For the most part. But that's what I seen. And that's what motivated me. So to want money and just break on boys.  But if he give you some money, he going to tell nobody that secret.  He invested. Yeah, we on boss talk one on one one on one. Yeah, we going to.


Chapter 4 of the Interesting Narrative of the Life of Alo Uda Equiano This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Interesting Narrative of the Life of Alo Uda Equiano or Gustavus Vassa, the African, written by himself by Alo Uda Equiano. Chapter 4 The author is baptized, narrowly escapes drowning, goes on an expedition to the Mediterranean, incidents he met with there, is witness to an engagement between some English and French ships, a particular account of the celebrated engagement between Admiral Boscoin and Monsignor Leclu off Cape Logas in August 1759, dreadful explosion of a French ship, the author sails for England, his master appointed to the command of a fire ship, meets a negro boy from whom he experiences much benevolence, prepares for an expedition against Belle Isle, a remarkable story of a disaster which befell his ship, arrives at Belle Isle, operations of the landing and siege, the author's danger and distress with his manner of extricating himself, surrender of Belle Isle, transactions afterwards on the coast of France, remarkable instance of kidnapping, the author returns to England, hears a talk of peace and expects his freedom, his ship sails for Deptford to be paid off and when he arrives there he is suddenly seized by his master and carried forcibly on board a West India ship and sold. It was now between two and three years since I first came to England, a great part of which I had spent at sea, so that I became enured to that service and began to consider myself as happily situated, for my master treated me always extremely well and my attachment and gratitude to him were very great. From the various scenes I had beheld on shipboard I soon grew a stranger to terror of every kind and was, in that respect at least, almost an Englishman. I have often reflected with surprise that I never felt half the alarm at any of the numerous dangers I have been in that I was filled with at the first sight of the Europeans and at every act of theirs even the most trifling when I first came among them and for some time afterwards. That fear, however, which was the effect of my ignorance, wore away as I began to know them. I could now speak English tolerably well and I perfectly understood everything that was said. I now not only felt myself quite easy with these new countrymen but relish their society and manners. I no longer looked upon them as spirits but as men superior to us and therefore I had the stronger desire to resemble them, to imbibe their spirit and imitate their manners. I therefore embraced every occasion of improvement and every new thing that I observed I treasured up in my memory. I had long wished to be able to read and write and for this purpose I took every opportunity to gain instruction but had made as yet very little progress. However, when I went to London with my master I had soon an opportunity of improving myself which I gladly embraced. Shortly after my arrival he sent me to wait upon the Miss Guerin's who had treated me with much kindness when I was there before and they sent me to school. While I was attending these ladies their servants told me I could not go to heaven unless I was baptized. This made me very uneasy for I had now some faint idea of a future state. Accordingly I communicated my anxiety to the eldest Miss Guerin with whom I was become a favourite and pressed her to have me baptized when to my great joy she told me I should. She had formally asked my master to let me be baptized but he had refused however she now insisted on it and he being under some obligation to her brother complied with her request so I was baptized in St. Margaret's Church Westminster in February 1759 by my present name. The clergyman at the same time gave me a book called A Guide to the Indians written by the Bishop of Sodor and Mann. On this occasion Miss Guerin did me the honour to stand as godmother and afterwards gave me a treat. I used to attend these ladies about the town in which service I was extremely happy as I had thus many opportunities of seeing London which I desired of all things. I was sometimes however with my master at his rendezvous house which was at the foot of Westminster Bridge. Here I used to enjoy myself in playing about the bridge stairs and often in the waterman's wearies with other boys. On one of these occasions there was another boy with me in a weary and we went out into the current on the river. While we were there two more stout boys came to us in another weary and abusing us for taking the boat desired me to get into the other weary boat. Accordingly I went to get out of the weary I was in but just as I had got one of my feet into the other boat the boys shoved it off so that I fell into the Thames. And not being able to swim I should unavoidably have been drowned but for the assistance of some watermen who providentially came to my relief. The Namur being again got ready for sea my master with his gang was ordered on board and to my no small grief I was obliged to leave my school master whom I liked very much and always attended while I stayed in London to repair on board with my master. Nor did I leave my kind patronesses the Miss Garands without uneasiness and regret. They often used to teach me to read and to great pains to instruct me in the principles of religion and the knowledge of God. I therefore parted from these amiable ladies with reluctance after receiving from them many friendly cautions how to conduct myself and some valuable presence. When I came to Spithead I found we were destined for the Mediterranean with a large fleet which was now ready to put to sea. We only waited for the arrival of the Admiral who soon came on board and about the beginning of the spring 1759 having weighed anchor and got underway sailed for the Mediterranean and in eleven days from the land's end we got to Gibraltar. While we were here I used to be often unsure and got various fruits and grape plenty and very cheap. I had frequently told several people in my excursions unsure the story of my being kidnapped with my sister and of our being separated as I have related before and I had as often expressed my anxiety for her fate and my sorrow at having never met her again. One day when I was unsure and mentioning these circumstances to some persons one of them told me he knew where my sister was and if I would accompany him he would bring me to her. Improbable as this story was I believed it immediately and agreed to go with him while my heart leaped for joy and indeed he conducted me to a black young woman who was so like my sister that at first sight I really thought it was her. But I was quickly undeceived and on talking to her I found her to be of another nation. While we lay here the Preston came in from the Levant.  I was much rejoiced at this news and expected every minute to embrace him and when the captain came on board of our ship which he did immediately after I ran to inquire after my friend but with inexpressible sorrow I learned from the boat's crew that the deer youth was dead and that they had brought his chest and all his other things to my master. These he afterwards gave to me and I regarded them as a memorial of my friend whom I loved and grieved for as a brother. While we were at Gibraltar I saw a soldier hanging by his heels at one of the malls. Footnote, he had drowned himself in endeavouring to dessert. I thought this a strange sight as I had seen a man hanged in London by his neck. At another time I saw the master of a frigate towed to shore on a grating by several of the men of war's boats and discharged the fleet which I understood was a mark of disgrace for cowardice. On board the same ship there was also a sailor hung up at the yard arm. After lying at Gibraltar for some time we sailed up the Mediterranean a considerable way above the Gulf of Lyon where we were one night overtaken by a terrible gale of wind much greater than any I had ever yet experienced. The sea ran so high that though all the guns were well housed there was great reason to fear they were getting loose. The ship rolled so much and if they had it must have proved our destruction. After we had cruised here for a short time we came to Barcelona a Spanish seaport remarkable for its silk manufacturers. Here the ships were all to be watered and my master who spoke different languages and used often to interpret for the admiral superintended the watering of ours. For that purpose he and the officers of the other ships who were on the same service had tents pitched in the bay and the Spanish soldiers were stationed along the shore. I supposed to see that no depredations were committed by our men. I used constantly to attend my master and I was charmed with this place. All the time we stayed it was like a fair with the natives who brought us fruits of all kinds and sold them to us much cheaper than I got them in England. They used also to bring wine down to us and hog and sheepskins which diverted me very much. The Spanish officers here treated our officers with great politeness and attention and some of them in particular used to come often to my master's tent to visit him where they would sometimes divert themselves by mounting me on the horses or mules so that I could not fall and setting them off at full gallop by imperfect skill and horsemanship all the while affording them no small entertainment. After the ships were watered we returned to our old station of cruising off Toulon for the purpose of intercepting a fleet of French men of war that lay there. One Sunday in our cruise we came off a place where there were two small French frigates lying in shore and our admiral thinking to take or destroy them sent two ships in after them the Coladan and the Conqueror. They soon came up to the Frenchmen and I saw a smart fight here both by sea and land for the frigates were covered by batteries and they played upon our ships most furiously which they as furiously returned and for a long time a constant firing was kept up on all sides at an amazing rate. At last one frigate sunk but the people escaped though not without much difficulty and a little after some of the people left the other frigate also which was a mere wreck. However our ships did not venture to bring her away they were so much annoyed from the batteries which raked them both in going and coming. Their top mass were shot away and they were otherwise so much shattered that the admiral was obliged to send in many boats to tow them back to the fleet. I afterwards sailed with a man who fought in one of the French batteries during the engagement and he told me our ships had done considerable mischief that day on shore and in the batteries. After this we sailed for Gibraltar and arrived there about August 1759. Here we remained with all our sails unbent while the fleet was watering and doing other necessary things. While we were in this situation one day the admiral with most of the principal officers and many people of all stations being on shore about seven o'clock in the evening we were alarmed by signals from the frigates stationed for that purpose. And in an instant there was a general cry that the French fleet was out and just passing through the straits. The admiral immediately came on board with some other officers and it is impossible to describe the noise, hurry and confusion throughout the whole fleet. In bending their sails and slipping their cables many people and ships boats were left on shore in the bustle. We had two captains on board of our ship who had come away in the hurry and left their ships to follow. We shoot lights from the gunnel to the main top mast head and all our lieutenants were employed amongst the fleet to tell the ships not to wait for their captains but to put the sails to the yards. Slip their cables and follow us and in this confusion of making ready for fighting we set out for sea in the dark after the French fleet. Here I could have exclaimed with Ajax, oh Jove, oh Father, if it be thy will that we must perish, we thy will obey, but let us perish by the light of day. They had got the start of us so far that we were not able to come up with them during the night, but at daylight we saw a seven sail of the line of battle some miles ahead. We immediately chased them till about four o'clock in the evening when our ships came up with them and though we were about fifteen large ships our gallant admiral only fought them with his own division which consisted of seven so that we were just ship for ship. We passed by the hull of the enemy's fleet in order to come up at their commander, Mishir Laclu, who was in the ocean, an eighty-four gun ship. As we passed they all fired on us and at one time three of them fired together continuing to do so for some time. Notwithstanding which our admiral would not suffer a gun to be fired at any of them, to my astonishment, but made us lie on our bellies on the deck till we came quite close to the ocean, which was ahead of them all, when we had orders to pour the whole three tears into her at once. The engagement now commenced with great fury on both sides. The ocean immediately returned our fire and we continued engaged with each other for some time during which I was frequently stunned with the thundering of the great guns whose dreadful contents hurried many of my companions into awful eternity. At last the French line was entirely broken and we obtained the victory, which was immediately proclaimed with loud hussars and acclamations. We took three prizes, La Modeste of sixty-four guns and Le Temerre and Centaur of seventy-four guns each. The rest of the French ships took to flight with all the sail they could crowd. Our ship, being very much damaged and quite disabled from pursuing the enemy, the admiral immediately quitted her and went in the broken and only boat we had left on board, the Newark, with which and some other ships he went after the French. The ocean and another large French ship, called the Redoutable Endeavoring to Escape, ran ashore at Cape Legasse on the coast of Portugal, and the French admiral and some of the crew got ashore, but we, finding it impossible to get the ships off, set fire to them both. About midnight I saw the ocean blow up, with the most dreadful explosion. I never beheld a more awful scene, and less than a minute the midnight for a certain space seemed turned into day by the blaze, which was attended with a noise louder and more terrible than thunder that seemed to rend every element around us. My station during the engagement was on the middle deck, where I was quartered with another boy to bring powder to the aftermost gun, and here I was a witness of the dreadful fate of many of my companions, who, in the twinkling of an eye, were dashed in pieces and launched into eternity. Happily I escaped unhurt, though the shot and splinters flew thick about me during the whole fight. Towards the latter part of it my master was wounded, and I saw him carry down to the surgeon, but though I was much alarmed for him and wished to assist him, I dared not leave my post. At this station my gunmate, a partner in bringing powder for the same gun, and I, ran a very great risk for more than half an hour of blowing up the ship. For when we had taken the cartridges out of the boxes, the bottoms of many of them proving rotten, the powder ran all about the deck, near the match-tub. We scarcely had water enough at the last to throw on it. We were also, from our employment, very much exposed to the enemy's shots, for we had to go through nearly the whole length of the ship to bring the powder. I expected there for every minute to be my last, especially when I saw our men fall so thick about me. But, wishing to guard as much against the dangers as possible, at first I thought it would be safest not to go for the powder till the Frenchmen had fired their broadside, and then, while they were charging, I could go and come with my powder. But immediately afterwards I thought this caution was fruitless, and cheering myself with the reflection that there was a time allotted for me to die as well as to be born, I instantly cast off all fear or thought whatever of death, and went through the whole of my duty with alacrity, pleasing myself with the hope, if I survive the battle, of relating it and the dangers I had escaped to the dear Miss Guerin and others when I should return to London. Our ship suffered very much in this engagement, for besides the number of our killed and wounded she was almost torn to pieces, and our rigging so much shattered that our mizzen mast and main yard, etc., hung over the side of the ship so that we were obliged to get many carpenters and others from some of the ships of the fleet to assist in setting us in some tolerable order. And notwithstanding it took us some time before we were completely refitted, after which we left Admiral Broderick to command, and we, with the prizes, steered for England. On the passage and as soon as my master was something recovered of his wounds, the Admiral appointed him captain of the Etna fire ship, on which he and I left the Namor and went on board of her at sea. I liked this little ship very much. I now became the captain steward, in which situation I was very happy, for I was extremely well treated by all on board, and I had leisure to improve myself in reading and writing. The latter I had learned a little of before I left the Namor, as there was a school on board. When we arrived at Spithead the Etna went into Portsmouth Harbor to refit, which, being done, we returned to Spithead and joined a large fleet that was thought to be intended against the Havana. But about that time the King died, whether that prevented the expedition I know not, but it caused our ship to be stationed at Cows, in the Isle of White, till the beginning of the year sixty-one. Here I spent my time very pleasantly. I was much unsure all about this delightful island, and found the inhabitants very civil. While I was here I met with a trifling incident which surprised me agreeably. I was one day in a field belonging to a gentleman who had a black boy about my own size. This boy, having observed me from his master's house, was transported at the sight of one of his own countrymen, and ran to meet me with utmost haste. I, not knowing what he was about, turned a little out of his way at first, but to no purpose. He soon came close to me and caught hold of me in his arms, as if I had been his brother, though we had never seen each other before. After we had talked together for some time, he took me to his master's house, where I was treated very kindly. This benevolent boy and I were very happy in frequently seeing each other till about the month of March, seventeen sixty-one, when our ship had orders to fit out again for another expedition. When we got ready we joined a very large fleet at Spithead, commanded by Commodore Keppel, which was destined against Bell Isle, and with a number of transport ships with troops on board, to make a descent on the place. We sailed once more in quest of fame. I longed to engage in new adventures, and see fresh wonders. I had a mind on which everything uncommon made its full impression, and every event which I considered as marvellous. Every extraordinary escape, or signal deliverance, either of myself or others, I looked upon to be affected by the interposition of Providence. We had not been above ten days at sea, before an incident of this kind happened, which whatever credit it may obtain from the reader made no small impression on my mind. We had on board a gunner whose name was John Mondell, a man of very indifferent morals. This man's cabin was between the decks, exactly over where I lay, a breast of the quarter-deck ladder. One night, the twentieth of April, being terrified with a dream, he awoke in so great a fright that he could not rest in his bed any longer, nor even remain in his cabin, and he went upon deck about four o'clock in the morning, extremely agitated. He immediately told those on deck of the agonies of his mind, and the dream which occasioned it, in which he said he had seen many things very awful, and had been warned by St. Peter to repent, who told him time was short. This, he said, had greatly alarmed him, and he was determined to alter his life. People generally mocked the fears of others when they are themselves in safety, and some of his shipmates who hurt him only laughed at him. However, he made a vow that he never would drink strong liquors again, and he immediately got alight, and gave away his sea-stores of liquor. After which, his agitation still continuing, he began to read the scriptures, hoping to find some relief, and soon afterwards he laid himself down again on his bed, an endeavour to compose himself to sleep, but to no purpose, his mind still continuing in a state of agony. By this time it was exactly half after seven in the morning. I was then under the half-deck at the great cabin door, and all at once I heard the people in the waste cry out most fearfully, the Lord have mercy upon us, we are all lost, the Lord have mercy upon us. Mr. Mondal, hearing the cries, immediately ran out of his cabin, and we were instantly struck by the lynn, a forty-gun ship, Captain Clark, which nearly ran us down. This ship had just put about, and was by the wind, but had not got full headway, or we must all have perished, for the wind was brisk. However, before Mr. Mondal had got four steps from his cabin door, she struck our ship with her cut water right in the middle of his bed and cabin, and ran it up to the comings of the quarter-deck hatchway, and above three feet below water. And in a minute there was not a bit of wood to be seen where Mr. Mondal's cabin stood, and he was so near being killed, that some of the splinters tore his face. As Mr. Mondal must inevitably have perished from this accident, had he not been alarmed in the very extraordinary way I have related, I could not help regarding this as an awful interposition of providence for his preservation. The two ships for some time, swing alongside of each other, for ours being a fire ship, our grappling irons caught the lynn every way, and the yards and rigging went at an astonishing rate. Our ship was in such a shocking condition, that we all thought she would instantly go down, and everyone ran for their lives, and got as well as they could on board the lynn, but our lieutenant being the aggressor, he never quitted the ship. However, when we found she did not sink immediately, the captain came on board again, and encouraged our people to return and try to save her. Many on this came back, but some would not venture. Some of the ships in the fleet, seeing our situation, immediately sent their boats to our assistance, but it took us the whole day to save the ship with all their help. And by using every possible means, particularly frapping her together with many housers, and putting a great quantity of tallow below water where she was damaged, she was kept together. But it was well we did not meet with any gales of wind, or we must have gone to pieces, for we were in such a crazy condition that we had ships to attend us till we arrived at Belle Isle, the place of our destination, and then we had all things taken out of the ship and she was properly repaired. This escape of Mr. Mondo, which he, as well as myself, always considered as a singular act of providence, I believe, had a great influence on his life and conduct ever afterwards. Now that I am on this subject, I beg leave to relay another instance or two which strongly raised my belief of the particular interposition of heaven, and which might not otherwise have found a place here from their insignificance. I belonged for a few days in the year 1758 to the Jason of fifty-four guns at Plymouth, and one night, when I was on board, a woman with a child at her breast fell from the upper deck down into the hold near the keel. Everyone thought that the mother and child must be both dashed to pieces, but to our great surprise neither of them was hurt. I myself one day fell headlong from the upper deck of the Aetna down the after-hold when the ballast was out, and all who saw me fall cried out that I was killed, but I received not the least injury. And in the same ship a man fell from the mast-head on the deck without being hurt. In these, and in many more instances, I thought I could plainly trace the hand of God, without whose permission a sparrow cannot fall. I began to raise my fear from man to him alone, and to call daily on his holy name with fear and reverence, and I trust he heard my supplications, and graciously condescended to answer me according to his holy word, and to implant the seeds of piety in me, even one of the meanest of his creatures. When we had refitted our ship, and all things were in readiness for attacking the place, the troops on board the transports were ordered to disembark, and my master as a junior captain had a share in the command of the landing. This was on the 8th of April. The French were drawn up on the shore, and had made every disposition to oppose the landing of our men, only a small part of them this day being able to affect it. Most of them, after fighting with great bravery, were cut off, and General Crawford, with a number of others, were taken prisoners. In this day's engagement, we had also, our lieutenant, killed. On the 21st of April, we renewed our efforts to land the men, while all the men of war were stationed along the shore to cover it, and fired at the French batteries and breast-works from early in the morning till about four o'clock in the evening when our soldiers affected a safe landing. They immediately attacked the French, and after a sharp encounter forced them from the batteries.  Our men now proceeded to besiege the citadel, and my master was ordered on shore to superintend the landing of all the materials necessary for carrying on the siege, in which service I mostly attended him. While I was there, I went about to different parts of the island, and one day, particularly, my curiosity almost cost me my life. I wanted very much to see the mode of charging the mortars and letting off the shells, and for that purpose I went to an English battery that was but a very few yards from the walls of the citadel. There indeed I had an opportunity of completely gratifying myself in seeing the whole operation, and that not without running a very great risk, both from the English shells that burst while I was there, but likewise from those of the French. One of the largest of their shells bursted within nine or ten yards of me. There was a single rock close by, about the size of a butt, and I got instant shelter under it in time to avoid the fury of the shell. Where it burst, the earth was torn in such a manner that two or three butts might easily have gone into the hole it made, and it threw great quantities of stones and dirt to a considerable distance. Three shot were also fired at me, and another boy, who was along with me, one of them in particular seemed winged with red lightning and impetuous rage, for with a most dreadful sound it hissed close by me and struck a rock at a little distance, which it shattered to pieces. When I saw what perilous circumstances I was in, I attempted to return the nearest way I could find, and thereby I got between the English and the French sentinels. An English sergeant, who commanded the outpost, seeing me, and surprised how I came there, which was by stealth along the seashore, reprimanded me very severely for it, and instantly took the sentinel off his post into custody for his negligence in suffering me to pass the lines. While I was in this situation I observed at a little distance a French horse belonging to some islanders, which I thought I would now mount for the greater expedition of getting off. Accordingly I took some cord which I had about me, and making a kind of bridle of it I put it round the horse's head, and the tame beast very quietly suffered me to tie him thus and mount him. As soon as I was on the horse's back I began to kick and beat him, and try every means to make him go quick, but all to very little purpose. I could not drive him out of a slow pace. While I was creeping along, still within reach of the enemy's shot, I met with a servant well-mounted on an English horse. I immediately stopped, and crying told him my case and begged of him to help me, and this he effectually did. For having a fine large whip he began to lash my horse with it so severely that he set off full speed with me towards the sea, while I was quite unable to hold or manage him. In this manner I went along till I came to a craggy precipice. I now could not stop my horse, and my mind was filled with apprehensions of my deplorable fate should he go down the precipice, which he appeared fully disposed to do. I therefore thought I had better throw myself off him at once, which I did immediately with a great deal of dexterity, and fortunately escaped unhurt. As soon as I found myself at liberty I made the best of my way for the ship, determined I would not be so foolhardy again in a hurry. We continued to besiege the citadel till June when it surrendered. During the siege I have counted above sixty shells and carcasses in the air at once. When this place was taken I went through the citadel, and in the bomb-proofs under it which were cut in the solid rock, and I thought at a surprising place both for strength and building, notwithstanding which our shots and shells had made amazing devastation and ruinous heaps all around it. After the taking of this island our ships with some others commanded by Commodore Stanhope in the Swift Shore went to Bass Road where we blocked up a French fleet. Our ships were there from June till February following, and in that time I saw a great many scenes of war and stratagems on both sides to destroy each other's fleet. Sometimes we would attack the French with some ships of the line, at other times with boats, and frequently we made prizes. Once or twice the French attacked us by throwing shells with their bomb vessels, and one day as a French vessel was throwing shells at our ships, she broke from her springs, behind the isle of Ida-Rie. The tide being complicated she came within a gunshot of the Nassau, but the Nassau could not bring a gun to bear upon her, and thereby the Frenchmen got off. We were twice attacked by their fire-floats, which they chained together, and then let them float down with the tide, but each time we sent boats with grapplings and towed them safe out of the fleet. We had different commanders while we were at this place, Commodore Stanhope, Dennis, Lord Howe, etc. From hence, before the Spanish War began, our ship and the Wasp's loop were sent to St. Sebastian in Spain by Commodore Stanhope, and Commodore Dennis afterwards sent our ship as a cartel to Bayonne in France. Footnote. Among others whom we brought from Bayonne, two gentlemen who had been in the West Indies, where they sold slaves, and they confessed they had made at one time a false bill of sale, and sold to Portuguese white men among a lot of slaves. After which, note, some people have it, that sometimes shortly before persons die, their ward has been seen, that is, some spirit exactly in their likeness, though they are themselves at other places at the same time. One day while we were at Bayonne, Mr. Mondal saw one of our men, as he thought, in the gun-room, and a little after, coming to the quarter-deck, he spoke of some circumstances of this man to some of the officers. They told him that the man was then out of the ship, in one of the boats with the lieutenant, but Mr. Mondal would not believe it, and we searched the ship. When he found the man was actually out of her, and when the boat returned sometime afterwards, we found the man had been drowned at the very time Mr. Mondal thought he saw him. We went in February in 1762 to Bell Isle, and there stayed till the summer when we left it and returned to Portsmouth. After our ship was fitted out again for service, in September she went to Guernsey, where I was very glad to see my old hostess, who was now a widow, and my former little charming companion, her daughter. I spent some time here very happily with them, till October, when we had orders to repair to Portsmouth. We parted from each other with a great deal of affection, and I promised to return soon, and see them again, not knowing what all powerful fate had determined for me. Our ship, having arrived at Portsmouth, we went into the harbor, and remained there till the latter part of November. When we heard great talk about peace, and to our very great joy, in the beginning of December, we had orders to go up to London with our ship to be paid off. We received this news with loud hooses, and every other demonstration of gladness, and nothing but mirth was to be seen throughout every part of the ship. I too was not without my share of the general joy on this occasion. I thought now of nothing but being freed, and working for myself, and thereby getting money to enable me to get a good education, for I always had a great desire to be able at least to read and write, and while I was on shipboard I had endeavored to improve myself in both. While I was in the Aetna particularly, the captain's clerk taught me to write, and gave me a smattering of arithmetic as far as the rule of three. There was also one Daniel Queen about forty years of age, a man very well educated, who messed with me on board this ship, and he likewise dressed and attended the captain. Fortunately this man soon became very much attached to me, and took very great pains to instruct me in many things. He taught me to shave and dress hair a little, and also to read in the Bible, explaining many passages to me, which I did not comprehend. I was wonderfully surprised to see the laws and rules of my country written almost exactly here, a circumstance which I believe tended to impress our manners and customs more deeply on my memory. I used to tell him of this resemblance, and many a time we have sat up the whole night together at this employment. In short he was like a father to me, and some even used to call me after his name, they also styled me the black Christian. Indeed I almost loved him with the affection of a son. Many things I have denied myself that he might have them, and when I used to play at marbles, or any other game, and won a few half pens, or got any little money, which I sometimes did for shaving anyone, I used to buy him a little sugar or tobacco as far as my stock of money would go. He used to say that he and I never should part, and that when our ship was paid off as I was as free as himself, or any other man on board, he would instruct me in his business by which I might gain a good livelihood. This gave me new life and spirits, and my heart burned within me, while I thought the time long till I obtained my freedom. Although my master had not promised it to me yet, besides the assurances I had received that he had no right to detain me, he always treated me with the greatest kindness, and reposed in me an unbounded confidence. He even paid attention to my morals, and would never suffer me to deceive him, or tell lies, of which he used to tell me the consequences. And that if I did so God would not love me, so that from all this tenderness I had never once supposed in all my dreams of freedom that he would think of detaining me any longer than I wished. In pursuance of our orders we sailed from Portsmouth for the Thames, and arrived at Deptford the 10th of December, where we cast anchor just as it was high water. The ship was up about half an hour when my master ordered the barge to be manned, and all in an instant, without having before given me the least reason to suspect anything of the matter, he forced me into the barge saying, I was going to leave him, but he would take care I should not. I was so struck with the unexpectedness of this proceeding, that for some time I did not make a reply, only I made an offer to go for my books and chest of clothes, but he swore I should not move out of his sight, and if I did he would cut my throat, at the same time taking his hanger. I began, however, to collect myself, and plucking up courage I told him I was free, and he could not by law serve me so, but this only enraged him the more, and he continued to swear, and said he would soon let me know whether he would or not, and at that instant sprung himself into the barge from the ship to the astonishment and sorrow of all on board. The tide, rather unluckily for me, had just turned downward, so that we quickly fell down the river along with it, till we came among some outward bound west in DMN, for he was resolved to put me on board the first vessel he could get to receive me. The boat's crew, who pulled against their will, became quite faint different times, and would have gone ashore, but he would not let them. Some of them strove then to cheer me, and told me he could not sell me, and that they would stand by me, which revived me a little, and I still entertained hopes, for as they pulled along he asked some vessels to receive me, but they could not. But just as we had got a little below Gravesend, we came alongside of a ship which was going away the next tide for the West Indies. Her name was the charming Sally, Captain James Duran, and my master went on board and agreed with him for me, and in a little time I was sent for into the cabin. When I came there, Captain Duran asked me if I knew him, I answered that I did not. Then he said, you are now my slave. I told him my master could not sell me to him, nor to anyone else. Why, said he, did not your master buy you? I confessed he did, but I have served him, said I, many years. And he has taken all my wages and prize money, for I only got one sixpence during the war, besides this I have been baptized, and by the laws of the land no man has a right to sell me. And I added that I had heard a lawyer and others at different times tell my master so. They both then said that those people who told me so were not my friends. But I replied it was very extraordinary that other people did not know the law as well as they. Upon this Captain Duran said I talk too much English, and if I did not behave myself well and be quiet he had a method on board to make me. I was too well convinced of his power over me to doubt what he said, and my former sufferings in the slave ship presenting themselves to my mind, the recollection of them made me shudder. However, before I retired I told them that as I could not get my right among men here I hoped I should hereafter in heaven, and I immediately left the cabin filled with resentment and sorrow.  I had about nine guineas which during my long seafaring life I had scraped together from trifling perquisites and little ventures, and I hid it that instant lest my master should take that from me likewise, still hoping that by some means or other I should make my escape to the shore. And indeed some of my old shipmates told me not to despair, for they would get me back again, and that as soon as they could get their pay they would immediately come to Portsmouth to me, where the ship was going. But alas all my hopes were baffled, and the hour of my deliverance was yet far off.  I followed them with aching eyes as long as I could, and when they were out of sight I threw myself on the deck while my heart was ready to burst with sorrow and anguish. CHAPTER V The author's reflections on his situation is deceived by a promise of being delivered. His despair at sailing for the West Indies arrives at Montserrat, where he is sold to Mr. King. Various interesting instances of oppression, cruelty and extortion which the author saw practised upon the slaves in the West Indies during his captivity from the year 1763 to 1766. Address on it to the planters. Thus, at the moment I expected all my toils to end, I was plunged, as I supposed, in a new slavery, in comparison of which all my service hitherto had been perfect freedom, and whose horrors, always present to my mind, now rushed on it with tenfold aggravation. I wept very bitterly for some time, and began to think that I must have done something to displease the Lord, for he thus punished me so severely.  I recollected that on the morning of our arrival at Detford, I had rashly sworn that as soon as we reached London, I would spend the day in rambling and sport. My conscience smote me for this unguarded expression. I felt that the Lord was able to disappoint me in all things, and immediately considered my present situation as a judgment of heaven on account of my presumption in swearing. I therefore, with contrition of heart, acknowledged my transgression to God, and poured out my soul before him with unfaigned repentance, and with earnest supplications I besought him not to abandon me in my distress, nor cast me from his mercy for ever. In a little time my grief, spent with its own violence, began to subside, and after the first confusion of my thoughts was over, I reflected with more calmness on my present condition. I considered that trials and disappointments are sometimes for our good, and I thought God might perhaps have permitted this in order to teach me wisdom and resignation. For he had hitherto shadowed me with the wings of his mercy, and by his invisible but powerful hand brought me the way I knew not. These reflections gave me a little comfort, and I rose at last from the deck, with dejection and sorrow in my countenance, yet mixed with some faint hope that the Lord would appear for my deliverance. Soon afterwards, as my new master was going ashore, he called me to him, and told me to behave myself well, and do the business of the ship the same as any of the rest of the boys, and that I should fare the better for it, but I made him no answer. I was then asked if I could swim, and I said no. However, I was made to go under the deck, and was well watched. The next tide the ship got under way, and soon after arrived at the mother-bank, Portsmouth, where she waited for a few days for some of the West India convoy. While I was here, I tried every means I could devise amongst the people of the ship to get me a boat from the shore, as there was none suffered to come alongside of the ship, and their own, whenever it was used, was hoisted in again immediately. A sailor on board took a guinea from me on pretense of getting me a boat, and promised me time after time that it was hourly to come off. When he had the watch upon deck, I watched also, and looked long enough, but all in vain. I could never see either the boat or my guinea again. And what I thought was still the worst of all, the fellow gave information, as I afterwards found, all the while to the mates of my intention to go off, if I could in any way do it, but roguelike he never told them he had got a guinea from me to procure my escape. However, after we had sailed, and his trick was made known to the ship's crew, I had some satisfaction in seeing him detested and despised by them all, for his behaviour to me. I was still in hopes that my old shipmates would not forget their promise to come for me to Portsmouth, and indeed, at last, but not till the day before we sailed, some of them did come there, and sent me off some oranges and other tokens of their regard. They also sent me word they would come off to me themselves the next day or the day after, and a lady also, who lived in Gosport, wrote to me that she would come and take me out of the ship at the same time. This lady had been once very intimate with my former master. I used to sell and take care of a great deal of property for her in different ships, and in return she always showed great friendship for me, and used to tell my master that she would take me away to live with her, but unfortunately for me a disagreement soon afterwards took place between them, and she was succeeded in my master's good graces by another lady, who appeared sole mistress of the Etna, and mostly lodged on board. I was not so great a favourite with this lady as with the former. She had conceived a peak against me on some occasion when she was on board, and she did not fail to instigate my master to treat me in the manner he did. Footnote. Thus was I sacrificed to the envy and resentment of this woman for knowing that the lady whom she had succeeded in my master's good graces designed to take me into her service, which had I once got on shore she would not have been able to prevent. She felt her pride alarmed at the superiority of her rival in being attended by a black servant. It was not less to prevent this than to be revenged on me, that she caused the captain to treat me thus cruelly. However, the next morning, the thirtieth of December, the wind being brisk and easterly, the away-less frigate, which was to escort the convoy, made a signal for sailing. All the ships then got up their anchors, and, before any of my friends had an opportunity to come off to my relief, to my inexpressible anguish, our ship had gotten away. What tumultuous emotions agitated my soul when the convoy got under sail, and I a prisoner on board, now without hope. I kept my swimming eyes upon the land in a state of unutterable grief, not knowing what to do, and despairing how to help myself. While my mind was in this situation, the fleet sailed on, and in one day's time I lost sight of the wished-for land. In the first expressions of my grief I reproached my fate, and wished I had never been born.  Fool that I was, inured so long to pain, to trust to hope, or dream of joy again. Now dragged once more beyond the western main, to groan beneath some dastard plant's chain, where my poor countrymen in bondage wait, the long enfranchisement of lingering fate. While ere the dawn of day, roused by the lash, they go their cheerless way, and as their souls with shame and anguish burn, salute with groans unwelcome morn's return, and chiding every hour the slow-paced sun, pursue their toils till all his races run. No eye to mark their sufferings with a tear, no friend to comfort, and no hope to cheer. Then, like the dull, unpitted, brute's repair, to stalls as wretched, and as course affair. Thank heaven one day of misery was o'er, then sink to sleep, and wished to wake no more. Footnote. The Dying Negro, a poem originally published in 1773. Perhaps it may not be deemed impertinent here to add, that this elegant and pathetic little poem was occasioned as appears by the advertisement prefix to it, by the following incident. Quote, a black who a few days before had ran away from his master, and got himself christened, with intent to marry a white woman, his fellow servant, being taken and sent on board a ship in the Thames, took an opportunity of shooting himself through the head. End quote. End footnote. The turbulence of my emotions, however naturally, gave way to calmer thoughts, and I soon perceived what fate had decreed no mortal on earth could prevent. The convoy sailed on without any accident, with a pleasant gale and smooth sea, for six weeks till February, when one morning the o'erlass ran down a brig. One of the convoy, and she instantly, went down, and was engulfed in the dark recesses of the ocean. The convoy was immediately thrown into great confusion till it was daylight, and the o'erlass was illumined with lights to prevent any farther mischief. On the thirteenth of February, 1763, from the Mast Head, we described our destined island Montserrat, and soon after I beheld those, quote, regions of sorrow, dullful shades, where peace and rest can rarely dwell. Hope never comes that comes to all, but torture without end still urges. End quote. At the sight of this land of bondage, a fresh horror ran through all my frame, and chilled me to the heart. My former slavery now rose in dreadful review to my mind, and displayed nothing but misery, stripes, and chains, and in the first paroxysm of my grief I called upon God's thunder and his avenging power to direct the stroke of death to me rather than permit me to become a slave and be sold from lord to lord. In this state of my mind our ship came to an anchor, and soon after discharged her cargo. I now knew what it was to work hard, and I was made to help to unload and load the ship, and to comfort me and my distress in that time two of the sailors robbed me of all my money, and ran away from the ship. I had been so long used to an European climate that at first I felt the scorching west India sun very painfully, while the dashing surf would toss the boat and the people in it frequently above high water mark. Sometimes our limbs were broken with this, or even attended with instant death, and I was day by day mangled and torn. About the middle of May, when the ship had got ready to sail for England, I, all the time believing that fate's blackest clouds were gathering over my head, and expecting their bursting would mix me with the dead, Captain Doran sent for me ashore one morning, and I was told by the messenger that my fate was then determined. With fluttering steps and trembling heart I came to the Captain, and found him with one Mr. Robert King, a Quaker, and the first merchant in the place. The Captain then told me my former master had sent me there to be sold, but that he had desired him to get me the best master he could, as he told him I was a very deserving boy, which Captain Doran said he found to be true, and if he were to stay in the West Indies he would be glad to keep me himself. But he could not venture to take me to London, for he was very sure that when I came there I would leave him. I at that instant burst out a crying, and begged much of him to take me to England with him, but all to no purpose. He told me that he had got the very best master in the whole island, with whom I should be as happy as if I were in England, and for that reason he chose to let him have me, though he could sell me to his own brother-in-law for a great deal more money than he got from this gentleman. Mr. King, my new master, then made a reply, and said the reason he had bought me was on account of my good character, and as he had not the least doubt of my good behaviour I should be very well off with him. He also told me he did not live in the West Indies, but at Philadelphia, where he was going soon, and as I understood something of the rules of arithmetic, when we got there he would put me to school, and fit me for a clerk. This conversation relieved my mind a little, and I left those gentlemen considerably more at ease in myself than when I came to them, and I was very grateful to Captain Doran, and even to my old master, for the character they had given me, a character which I afterwards found of infinite service to me. I went on board again, and took leave of all my shipmates, and the next day the ship sailed. When she weighed anchor I went to the water-side, and looked at her with a very wishful and aching heart, and followed her with my eyes and tears, until she was totally out of sight. I was so bowed down with grief that I could not hold up my head for many months, and if my new master had not been kind to me I believe I should have died under it at last, and indeed I soon found that he fully deserved the good character which Captain Doran had given me of him, for he possessed a most amiable disposition and temper, and was very charitable and humane. If any of his slaves behaved amiss, he did not beat or use them ill, but parted with them. This made them afraid of disobliging him, and as he treated his slaves better than any other man on the island, so he was better and more faithfully served by them in return. By his kind treatment I did at last endeavour to compose myself, and with fortitude, though moneyless, determined to face whatever fate had decreed for me. Mr. King soon asked me what I could do, and at the same time said he did not mean to treat me as a common slave. I told him I knew something of seamanship, and could shave and dress hair pretty well, and I could refine wines, which I had learnt on ship-board, where I had often done it, and that I could write and understood arithmetic tolerably well as far as the rule of three. He then asked me if I knew anything of gauging, and on my answering that I did not, he said one of his clerks should teach me to gauge. Mr. King dealt in all manner of merchandise, and kept from one to six clerks. He loaded many vessels in a year, particularly to Philadelphia where he was born, and was connected with a great mercantile house in that city. He had besides many vessels and droggers, of different sizes, which used to go about the island, and others to collect rum, sugar, and other goods. I understood pulling and managing those boats very well, and this hard work, which was the first that he set me to, in the sugar-seasoned used to be my constant employment. I have rode the boat, and slaved at the oars, from one hour to sixteen in the twenty-four, during which I had fifteen pence sterling per day to live on, though sometimes only ten pence. However, this was considerably more than was allowed to other slaves that used to work with me, and belonged to other gentlemen on the island. Those poor souls had never more than nine pence per day, and seldom more than six pence from their masters or owners. Though they earned them three or four pesterines. Footnote. These pesterines are of the value of a shilling. End footnote. For it is a common practice in the West Indies for men to purchase slaves, though they have no plantations themselves, in order to let them out to planters and merchants, at so much apiece by the day, and they give them what allowance they choose out of this produce of their daily work, to the slaves for subsistence. This allowance is often very scanty. My master often gave the owners of these slaves two-and-a-half of these pieces per day, and found the poor fellows in victuals himself, because he thought their owners did not feed them well enough according to the work they did. The slaves used to like this very well, and as they knew my master was a man of feeling, they were always glad to work for him in preference to any other gentleman, some of whom, after they had been paid for these poor people's labours, would not give them their allowance out of it. Many times I have seen these unfortunate wretches beaten for asking for their pay, and often severely flogged by their owners, if they did not bring them their daily or weekly money exactly to the time, though the poor creatures were obliged to wait on the gentleman they had worked for, sometimes for more than half the day before they could get their pay, and this generally on Sundays when they wanted the time for themselves. In particular I knew a countryman of mine who once did not bring the weekly money directly that it was earned, and though he brought it the same day to his master, yet he was staked to the ground for his pretended negligence, and who was just going to receive a hundred lashes, but for a gentleman who begged him off fifty. This poor man was very industrious, and by his frugality had saved so much money by working on ship-board that he had got a white man to buy him a boat, unknown to his master. Some time after he had this little estate, the governor wanted a boat to bring his sugar from different parts of the island, and knowing this to be a negro man's boat, he seized upon it for himself, and would not pay the owner a farthing. The man on this went to his master and complained to him of this act of the governor, but the only satisfaction he received was to be damned very heartily by his master, who asked him how dared any of his negroes to have a boat. If the justly merited ruin of the governor's fortune could be any gratification to the poor man he had thus robbed, he was not without consolation. Extortion and rapine are poor providers, and some time after this the governor died in the king's bench in England, and I was told in great poverty. The last war favoured this poor negro man, and he found some means to escape from his Christian master. He came to England, where I saw him afterwards several times. Such treatment as this often drives these miserable wretches to despair, and they run away from their masters at the hazard of their lives. Many of them, in this place, unable to get their pay when they have earned it, and fearing to be flogged as usual, if they return home without it, run away where they can for shelter, and a reward is often offered to bring them in, dead or alive. My master used sometimes in these cases to agree with their owners, and to settle with them himself, and thereby he saved many of them a flogging. Once for a few days I was let out to fit a vessel, and I had no victuals allowed me by either party, at last I told my master of this treatment, and he took me away from it. In many of the estates, on the different islands where I used to be sent for rum or sugar, they would not deliver it to me or any other negro, he was therefore obliged to send a white man along with me to those places, and then he used to pay him from six to ten pisterines a day. From being thus employed during the time I served Mr. King in going about the different estates on the island, I had all the opportunity I could wish for to see the dreadful usage of the poor men, usage that reconciled me to my situation, and made me bless God for the hands into which I had fallen. I had the good fortune to please my master in every department in which he employed me, and there was scarcely any part of his business or household affairs in which I was not occasionally engaged. I often supplied the place of a clerk in receiving and delivering cargoes to the ships, intending stores, and delivering goods, and besides this I used to shave and dress my master when convenient, and take care of his horse, and when it was necessary, which was very often, I worked likewise on board of different vessels of his. By these means I became very useful to my master, and saved him, as he used to acknowledge, above a hundred pounds a year, nor did he scruple to say I was of more advantage to him than any of his clerks, though their usual wages in the West Indies are from sixty to a hundred pounds current a year. I have sometimes heard it asserted that a Negro cannot earn his master, the first cost, but nothing can be further from the truth. I suppose nine-tenths of the mechanics throughout the West Indies are Negro slaves, and I well know the Coopers among them can earn two dollars a day, the Carpenters the same, and often times more, as also the Masons, Smiths, and Fishermen, etc., and I have known many slaves whose masters would not take a thousand pounds current for them. But surely this assertion refutes itself, for if it be true, why do the planters and merchants pay such a price for a slave, and above all, why do those who make this assertion exclaim the most loudly against the abolition of the slave trade? So much are men blinded, and such inconsistent arguments are they driven by mistaken interest. I grant indeed that slaves are sometimes, by half-feeding, half-clothing, overworking, and stripes, reduced so low that they are turned out as unfit for service, and left to perish in the woods, or expire on a dung-hill. My master was several times offered by different gentlemen, one hundred guineas for me, but he always told them that he would not sell me, to my great joy. And I used to double my diligence and care, for fear of getting into the hands of those men who did not allow a valuable slave the common support of life. Many of them even used to find fault with my master for feeding his slaves so well as he did, although I often went hungry, and an Englishman might think my fare very indifferent, but he used to tell them he always would do it, because the slaves thereby looked better and did more work. While I was thus employed by my master, I was often a witness to cruelties of every kind which were exercised on my unhappy fellow slaves. I used frequently to have different cargoes of new negroes in my care for sale, and it was almost a constant practice with our clerks and other whites to commit violent depredations on the chastity of the female slaves. And these I was, though with reluctance, obliged to submit to at all times, being unable to help them. When we have had some of these slaves on board my master's vessel, to carry them to other islands, or to America, I have known our mates to commit these acts, most shamefully, to the disgrace, not of Christians only, but of men. I have even known them gratify their brutal passion with females not ten years old, and these abominations some of them practice to such scandalous excess that one of our captains discharged the mate and others on that account. And yet in Montserrat I have seen a negro man staked to the ground and cut most shockingly, and then his ears cut off bit by bit, because he had been connected with a white woman, who was a common prostitute, as if it were no crime in the whites to rob an innocent African girl of her virtue, but most tenuous in a black man only to gratify a passion of nature, where the temptation was offered by one of a different colour, though the most abandoned woman of her species. Another negro man was half hanged and then burned for attempting to poison a cruel overseer. Thus by repeated cruelties are the wretched first urged to despair and then murdered, because they still retain so much of human nature about them as to wish to put an end to their misery and retaliate on their tyrants. These overseers are indeed for the most part persons of the worst character of any denomination of men in the West Indies. Unfortunately many humane gentlemen, by not residing on their estates, are obliged to leave the management of them in the hands of these human butchers, who cut and mangled the slaves in a shocking manner on the most trifling occasions, and altogether treat them in every respect like brutes. They pay no regard to the situation of pregnant women, nor the least attention to the lodging of the field negroes. Their huts, which ought to be well covered, and the place dry where they take their repose, are often open sheds, built in damp places, so that when the poor creatures return tired from the toils of the field, they contract many disorders from being exposed to the damp air in this uncomfortable state, while they are heated and their pores are open. Disneglect certainly conspires with many others to cause a decrease in the births as well as in the lives of the grown negroes. I can quote many instances of gentlemen who reside on their estates in the West Indies, and then the scene is quite changed. The negroes are treated with lenity and proper care, by which their lives are prolonged and their masters are profited. To the honour of humanity I knew several gentlemen who managed their estates in this manner, and they found that benevolence was their truest interest. But among many I could mention in several of the islands, a new one in Montserrat—footnote, Mr. Dewberry, and many others, Montserrat—end footnote, whose slaves looked remarkably well and never needed any fresh supplies of negroes, and there are many other estates, especially in Barbados, which, from such judicious treatment, need no fresh stock of negroes at any time. It is the honour of knowing a most worthy and humane gentleman who is a native of Barbados and has estates there—footnote, Sir Philip Gibbs, Baronet, Barbados—end footnote. This gentleman has written a treatise on the usage of his own slaves. He allows them two hours for refreshment at midday and many other indulgences and comforts, particularly in their lying, and besides this he raises more provisions on his estate than they can destroy, so that by these attentions he saves the lives of his negroes and keeps them healthy and as happy as the condition of slavery can admit. I myself, as shall appear in the sequel, managed an estate where, by those attentions, the negroes were uncommonly cheerful and healthy, and did more work by hearth than by the common mode of treatment they usually do, for want therefore of such care and attention to the poor negroes, and otherwise oppressed as they are, it is no wonder that the decrease should require twenty thousand new negroes annually to fill up the vacant places of the dead. Even in Barbados, notwithstanding those humane exceptions which I have mentioned, and others I am acquainted with, which justly make it quoted as a place where slaves meet with the best treatment and need fewest recruits of any in the West Indies, yet this island requires a thousand negroes annually to keep up the original stock, which is only eighty thousand, so that the whole term of a negro's life may be said to be there but sixteen years. footnote Benizay's account of Guinea, page sixteen end footnote and yet the climate here is in every respect the same as that from which they are taken, except in being more wholesome. Do the British colonies decrease in this manner? and yet what a prodigious difference is there between an English and a West India climate? While I was in Montserrat I knew an negro man named Emmanuel Sankey who endeavoured to escape from his miserable bondage by concealing himself on board of a London ship, but fate did not favour the poor oppressed man for being discovered when the vessel was under sail he was delivered up again to his master. This Christian master immediately pinned the wretch down to the ground at each wrist and ankle and then took some sticks of ceiling wax and lighted them and dropped it all over his back. There was another master who was noted for cruelty and I believe he had not a slave but what had been cut and had pieces fairly taken out of the flesh, and after they had been punished of us he used to make them get into a long wooden box or case he had for that purpose in which he shut them up during pleasure. It was just about the height and breadth of a man and the poor wretches had no room when in the case to move. It was very common in several of the islands particularly in St. Kitt's for the slaves to be branded with the initial letters of their master's name and a load of heavy iron hooks hung about their necks. Indeed on the most trifling occasions they were loaded with chains and often instruments of torture were added. The iron muzzle, thumb screws etc. are so well known as not to need a description and were sometimes applied for the slightest faults. I have seen a negro beaten till some of his bones were broken for even letting a pot boil over. Is it surprising that usage like this should drive the poor creatures to despair and make them seek a refuge in death from those evils which render their lives intolerable while, quote, with shuddering horror pale and eyes aghast they view their lamentable lot and find no rest. End quote. This they frequently do. A negro man on board a vessel of my master while I belonged to her having been put in irons for some trifling misdemeanor and kept in that state for some days being wary of life took an opportunity of jumping overboard into the sea. However he was picked up without being drowned. Another whose life was also a burden to him resolved to starve himself to death and refused to eat any victuals. This procured him a severe flogging and he also on the first occasion which offered jumped overboard at Charlestown but was saved. Nor is there any greater regard shown to the little property than there is to the persons and lives of the negroes. I have already related an instance or two of particular oppression out of many which I have witnessed but the following is frequent in all the islands. The wretched field slaves, after toiling all the day for an unfeeling owner who gives them but little victuals, steal sometimes a few moments from rest or refreshment to gather some small portion of grass according as their time will admit. This they commonly tie up in a parcel either a bit worth six pence or half a bits worth and bring it to town or to the market to sell. Nothing is more common than for the white people on this occasion to take the grass from them without paying for it. And not only so but too often also to my knowledge are clerks and many others at the same time have committed acts of violence on the poor, wretched and helpless females who may have seen for hours standing crying to no purpose and get no redress or pay of any kind. Is not this one common and crying sin enough to bring down God's judgment on the islands? He tells us the oppressor and the oppressed are both in his hands and if these are not the poor, the broken hearted, the blind, the captive, the bruised, which our Saviour speaks of, who are they? One of these depredators once in St. Eustatia came on board of our vessel and bought some fowls and pigs of me and a whole day after his departure with the things he returned again and wanted his money back, I refused to give it and not seeing my captain on board he began the common pranks with me and swore he would even break open my chest and take my money. I therefore expected, as my captain was absent, that he would be as good as his word and he was just proceeding to strike me when fortunately a British seaman on board whose heart had not been debauched by a West India climate interposed and prevented him. But had the cruel man struck me I certainly should have defended myself at the hazard of my life for what is life to a man the suppressed. He went away, however, swearing and threatened that whenever he caught me on shore he would shoot me and pay for me afterwards. The small account in which the life of a Negro is held in the West Indies is so universally known that it might seem impertinent to quote the following extract if some people had not been hardy enough of late to assert that Negroes are on the same footing in that respect as Europeans. By the 329th Act, page 125 of the Assembly of Barbados it is enacted quote that if any Negro or other slave under punishment by his master or his order for running away or any other crime or misdemeanor towards his said master unfortunately shall suffer in life or member no person whatsoever shall be liable to a fine but if any man shall out of wantonness or only of bloody mindedness or cruel intention willfully kill a Negro or other slave of his own he shall pay into the public treasury 15 pounds sterling end quote. And it is the same in most if not all of the West India Islands is not this one of the many acts of the islands which call loudly for redress and do not the assembly which enacted it deserve the appellation of savages and brutes rather than of Christians and men it is an act at once unmerciful unjust and unwise which for cruelty would disgrace an assembly of those who are called barbarians and for its injustice and insanity would shock the morality and common sense of a Samaid or a Hottentot shocking as this and many more acts of the bloody West India Code at first view appear how is the iniquity of it heightened when we consider to whom it may be extended Mr. James Tobin as Ellis laborer in the vineyard of slavery gives an account of a French planter of his acquaintance in the island of Martinico who showed him many mulattoes working in the fields like beasts of burden and he told Mr. Tobin that these were all the produce of his own lines and I myself have known similar instances pray reader are these sons and daughters of the French planter less his children by being begotten of a black woman and what must be the virtue of those legislators and the feelings of those fathers who estimate the lives of their sons however begotten at no more than 15 pounds though they should be murdered as the act says out of wantonness and bloody mindedness but is not the slave trade entirely a war with the heart of man and surely that which is begun by breaking down the barriers of virtue involves in its continuance destruction to every principle and buries all sentiments in ruin I have often seen slaves particularly those who were meager in different islands put into scales and wade and then sold from three pence to six pence or nine pence a pound my master however whose humanity was shocked at this mode used to sell such by the lump and at or after a sale it was not uncommon to see negroes taken from their wives wives taken from their husbands and children from their parents and sent off to other islands and wherever else their merciless lords chose and probably never more during life to see each other often times my heart has bled at these partings when the friends of the departed have been at the water side and with sighs and tears have kept their eyes fixed on the vessel till it went out of sight a poor Creole negro I knew well who after having been often thus transported from island to island at last resided in Montserrat this man used to tell me many melancholy tales of himself generally after he had done working for his master he used to employ his few leisure moments to go fishing when he had caught any fish his master would frequently take them from him without paying him and at other times some other white people would serve him in the same manner one day he said to me very movingly sometimes when a white man take away my fish I go to my masa and he get me my right and when my masa by strength take away my fishes what me must do I can't go to anybody to be righted then said the poor man looking up above I must look up to God mighty in the top for right this artless tale moved me much and I could not help feeling the just cause Moses had in redressing his brother against the Egyptian I exhorted the man to look up still to the God on the top since there was no redress below though I little thought then that I myself should more than once experience such imposition and read the same exhortation hereafter in my own transactions in the islands and that even this poor man and I should sometime after suffer together in the same manner as shall be related hereafter nor was such usage of this confined to particular places or individuals for in all the different islands in which I had been and I have visited no less than fifteen the treatment of the slaves was nearly the same so nearly indeed that the history of an island or even a plantation with a few such exceptions as I have mentioned might serve for a history of the whole such a tendency has the slave trade to debauch men's minds and hardened them to every feeling of humanity for I will not suppose that the dealers in slaves are born worse than other men no it is the fatality of this mistaken avarice that it corrupts the milk of human kindness and turns into gall and had the pursuits of those men being different they might have been as generous as tender-hearted and just as they are unfeeling rapacious and cruel surely this traffic cannot be good which spreads like a pestilence and taints what it touches which violates that first natural right of mankind equality and independency and gives one man a dominion over his fellows which God could never intend for it raises the owner to a state as far above man as it depresses the slave below it and with all the presumption of human pride sets a distinction between them immeasurable in extent and endless in duration yet how mistaken is the avarice even of the planters are slaves more useful by being thus humbled to the condition of brutes than they would be if suffered to enjoy the privileges of men the freedom which diffuses health and prosperity throughout Britain answers you, no when you make men slaves you deprive them of half their virtue you set them in your own conduct an example of fraud, rapine and cruelty and compel them to live with you in a state of war and yet you complain that they are not honest or faithful you stupify them with stripes and think it necessary to keep them in a state of ignorance and yet you assert that they are incapable of learning that their minds are such a barren soil or more that culture would be lost on them and that they come from a climate where nature, though prodigal of her bounties in a degree unknown to yourselves, has left man alone at scant and unfinished and incapable of enjoying the treasures she has poured out of him an assertion at once impious and absurd why do you use those instruments of torture are they fit to be applied by one rational being to another and are you not struck with shame and mortification to see the partakers of your nature reduce so low but above all are they no dangers attending this mode of treatment are you not hourly in dread of an insurrection nor would it be surprising for when quote no peace is given to us enslaved but custody severe and stripes and arbitrary punishment inflicted what peace can we return but to our power hostility and hate untamed reluctance and revenge though slow yet ever plotting how the conqueror least may reap his conquest and may least rejoice in doing what we most in suffering feel end quote but by changing your conduct and treating your slaves as men every cause of fear would be banished they would be faithful honest intelligent and vigorous and peace prosperity and happiness would attend you End of Chapter 5