The individual is now a personal newsroom. It's a media center in its own right. The individual can be an agent in how you mobilize and organize other people. And then the question becomes how do you enable people to do something that is relevant and useful? The primary driver of civic participation in any community is need. You do it because you see a gap and you need to address it. The secondary driver is a type of moral concern, the sense of global citizenship that characterizes many millennials. The three-year-old Syrian boy Ayon Khourdi who drowned generated such an enormous outpouring of public grief that within hours hundreds of thousands of people had signed a petition to put pressure on the prime minister whether or not people felt comfortable about that image being shared so widely. It has the potential to change policy. But most of the time there's that nagging suspicion that most people don't feel very connected to the issues they care about. The petition donating money are not particularly meaningful actually in terms of supporting frontline activists on the ground. What we're trying to do there is think about civic participation in a much more individualized way. Tap into the potential of these distributed networks that really characterize modern-day activism and are enabled by technology trends that come out of consumer markets or live video task-routing APIs from the on-demand economy, smart calendaring and say, why not make sure that's the tool you use to connect you to the civic participation that you care about? There's quite a rise of people who call themselves digital humanitarians and this is, I think, a very interesting space where you could see social media being very productive in humanitarian relief efforts. Civil society experiment with new forms of participation. Governments should embrace this experimentation as well because if governments do not do that it will happen just like the music industry. Innovation will be made in spite of that.


Welcome to our presentation titled Establishing an Open Education Community of Practice at a Bilingual University, Year 1 Reflections. Your presenters are Melanie Prené, Open Education Librarian, and Michelle Brown, Head, Learning and Student Success. We are both librarians at the University of Ottawa. The University of Ottawa is a public research university located on the unceded ancestral land of the Algonquin people in the heart of Canada's capital city, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. It is the largest bilingual French and English university in the world and offers 550 undergraduate, masters, doctoral, and professional programs. It provides courses, resources, and services in both English and French. There are about 44,000 students at the University of Ottawa. 70% of those students study in English, while only 30% of students study in French. The university provides courses, resources, and services in both English and French, but it is not in equal proportion. It is also important to note that the majority of teaching staff at the University of Ottawa are adjunct and part-time professors, rather than full-time and tenured faculty. This can sometimes pose a challenge for communities of practice and other types of group, since there can be a lack of continuity among the staff. We will now speak to the creation of the community of practice. Ottawa's Strategic Plan Transformation 2030 signaled administrative support for the promotion and development of French-language OER and open education in general. This was an important first step leading to the creation of the Open and Affordable Learning Materials Working Group, which found that the campus had pockets of innovation, but the larger university community lacked a cohesive vision for the use, creation, and dissemination of OER. One of the recommendations of the working group was to strike a community of practice on open education. The community of practice was meant to be a vehicle for awareness-building, information-sharing, and support, as well as to lay the foundation for a culture of open pedagogy at the university. The community of practice set out to recruit known OER champions on campus to become members. These included professors, students, and other staff who had demonstrated an interest and advocacy for open education, or those who had already created OER or used OER in their classrooms. After careful planning, the OER community of practice met for the first time in October 2021 and is open to all at the University of Ottawa. For this overview of the first year, we will focus on our membership, the themes discussed, and some of the benefits and successes we have identified. After a year, the community of practice had 60 members, with full-time professors and librarians representing half of the membership, with 15 members each. Staff, administrators, students, and part-time instructors made up the other half. The latter are the most underrepresented group, with only 5% of the membership, affecting two known trends at UO. First, part-time instructors are notoriously difficult to reach, even through official channels. And second, their working conditions are precarious. Finding out teaching assignments a week before classes start is not conducive to adapting a course around OER. By contrast, full-time faculty have the privilege of investing time in OER use, adaptation, or creation. Library employees represented 43% of the membership. Far behind were the faculties of arts, social sciences, and science, representing around 10% each. This overrepresentation of the library reflects the main center of OER support on campus. The community met nine times from October to June. All meetings were virtual, averaging 14 participants. The first two meetings were devoted to reviewing the terms of reference and planning activities for the year, while the others started with announcements followed by a presentation by a guest speaker and a discussion. Students covered a variety of themes and external guest speakers were invited when expertise was not available internally, which contributed to making English the dominant language of communication. While slides were translated into French and participants could ask questions in either language, meetings with presentations primarily in English extended into discussions that were overwhelmingly in that language as well. However, some benefits and successes from our first year include the presence of students, administrators, and even a representative from the university press. These stakeholders were mostly absent from OER outreach activities until then and got to learn from each other. The participation of students was especially enlightening, providing professors with firsthand examples of how commercial textbooks are problematic. The themes were suggested by members and then curated by the organizing committee, which made for a program that reflected their interests and addressed the knowledge gaps they identified. The COP facilitated networking among members, especially with the professor-student co-creation panel that raised awareness about OER champions in different faculties. While the library is overrepresented in the membership, the community has served as a channel to promote the OER support available at the library, at the university, and beyond, such as Ecampus Ontario and Rebus Community. While members and meeting participants surveyed in July 2022 indicated being satisfied with the first year of activities, there are some challenges the organizing committee needs to address and some lessons learned. Since it started during the COVID-19 pandemic, the community has only met virtually so far, which is not optimal for networking among members. However, the vast majority of members are interested in maintaining the option to connect remotely instead of meeting solely in person. While the community still uses Teams to host its documentation and post updates, this platform proved problematic for external guests. The last three meetings were held and recording on Zoom, which was easier to use. The openness of the Teams channel, meaning anyone with a UOttawa email address can join, was also a challenge with some documents being deleted by visitors. A backup folder was created in a locked sub-channel as a solution. The focus on presentations has turned the COP into a sort of speaker series. Some presentations leaving little time for discussion, thus hindering exchange among members. Dedicated time for a tool to tab among attendees and questions shared ahead of meetings are being considered to encourage members to share their thoughts on different subjects instead of arranging to have guest speakers every month. The community is open to all at the university, wherever they may be in their OER journey. The first-year approach, leaning heavily on presentations by experts, may not be addressing more basic issues of interest to members who are new to OERs. Meetings were overwhelmingly conducted in English, in large part due to the topics and guest speakers who were invited to present. Efforts should be made to invite more francophone or bilingual guest speakers, although the persistent gap in the availability of OERs in French is an indicator of the state of open education in these two languages. Focusing on discussion topics rather than inviting experts may be more conducive to bilingual conversations. Finally, full-time professors and librarians representing half of the membership is not a coincidence. They are already OER champions and advocates. In that sense, the community is not necessarily raising awareness about OERs among the uninitiated when we know that most professors and instructors are not familiar with OERs. Thank you so much for your interest in our Lightning Talk.


Hello and welcome to the session in which you would look at basics of accounting for income taxes. What is the big idea? Corporations will have to follow basically two sets of rules when they are preparing their taxes versus when they are preparing their financial statements for gap purposes. For the IRS rules, when they fill out the 1120C, they'll can have to follow the IRS code, the internal revenue code. And when they prepare their financial statements for the investors, they have to follow gap, a generally accepted accounting principle. And as a result, the way we account for income, the way we account for revenues, the way we account for deduction, the way we account for expenses, which is basically the same deductions and expenses are the same, is differently between gap and IRS. Remember, the IRS, the purpose is to tax you. For gap purposes, the purpose is to provide relevant information to the investors and users. Therefore, we're going to be following two sets of rules. For the IRS, you're going to have to compute something called taxable income. And please pay attention to the terminology. Taxable income is an IRS language. So on the exam, when I refer to taxable income, it means we are dealing with an IRS number. Then based on the taxable income, we multiply this by a rate and we come up with income taxes payable. Then income taxes payable is IRS language. Income taxes payable is how much you pay. What's the check that you have to write to the IRS? What's the amount of money you send to the IRS? This is the, you complete this on 1120C. For gap purposes, for generally accepted accounting principle, you are targeting investors and creditors. Therefore, you follow gap. The rules are different. Then you compute something called pre-tax financial income, pre-tax financial income or simply put financial income is a gap terminology. And based on the financial income, you will arrive to your income tax expense. You have to be aware of the rules, the terminology, because it's different. In a sense that you have to know whether you are being asked to compute taxable income or income tax expense or income taxes payable. They're different things. So the first thing, be familiar with the terminology. So why would there be any difference between gap and IRS? The list is endless. Let me show you a few examples, which will discuss them much, much more in details. Depreciation. The way you book depreciation for tax purposes, for example, online 18 here, is different than your way you book depreciation for, for gap purposes. So if you have depreciation here based on selling general and administrative, the way you book depreciation is different. Therefore, it's going to give you a different financial income than taxable income. They will be different. The way you account for warranties, for example, remember for gap, you can accrue warranties. You can account for the expense before it occurs. For IRS, you cannot accrue a warranty. Same with bad debt expense. For gap, you estimate bad debt expense. For IRS, you have to use the direct method. Two different method, long term construction revenue, prepaid expenses, so on and so forth. There's a lot of rules that differ between how you account for the IRS income, taxable income, and how you account for gap, financial income. And as a result, you're going to have differences in taxable income and financial income. As a result, you're going to have to account for those differences under the third tax asset and the third tax liabilities. Now, the best way is to look at an example to illustrate this concept. Although this example is simple, you may think it's challenging, but make sure you follow step-by-step because I'm only changing one thing. I'm dealing with one difference, which is the third tax liability. I just told you this because I want you to focus. So Adam Company reported revenues of 130,000 and expenses of 60,000 in each of the following three years. For tax purposes, Adam reported the same expenses to the IRS in each of the years. So we have a three-year company. As far as expenses, no difference between gap and IRS. However, Adam reported taxable revenue of 100,000 in year X0, 150 in year X1, and 140 in year X2. For gap, they reported all the years as 130,000. So here's the gap numbers. Here's the gap financial statement. Revenues of 130, expenses of 60, financial income of 70,000. 70,000 times 20%. Well, don't worry about this. Income tax expense is 14. Ignore the rate. Same thing for year X1, same thing for year X2. Total 390 in revenues over the three years, expenses 280, 180 in pre-tax financial income to 10. And income tax expense total of 42. For gap purposes, the revenue that they reported for year X0 was not 130, was 100,000. Why? Because the way IRS want you to report revenue is based on cash. So if you receive the cash, you have revenue. Therefore, in year X0, they received $100,000 in cash. Therefore, they credited revenue 100,000 in total, they debit cash 100,000. So what did they do for gap purposes? They reported 130,000. Well, the only explanation I can tell you is there wasn't a crawl of 30,000. So simply put, for gap, they reported revenue of 130, of which 100 was in cash, which we know from the tax record, and the 30,000 must be an account receivable. So that's why I just wanna show you the difference. Now, the expenses are the same for both companies. If you notice over a three year period, the total revenue was 390, because it was just a temporary difference because eventually the customers will pay their bill, will pay the 30,000, and as a result, this 30,000 becomes taxable for IRS. So eventually it would reverse. And that's why it's called, it's gonna reverse. So that's why we're gonna say the third tax asset and the third tax liabilities will reverse. But here's what we need to do. And by the way, this is not income tax expense, this is income taxes payable. Because remember the tax language, I kept this on purpose, I wanted to change it to remind you that income tax expense is not the same thing as income taxes payable. Income taxes payable is an IRS language. Now what we have to do is we have to account for the difference between what we report as income tax expense for GAAP and an income tax expense for IRS or income taxes payable for IRS. And notice the difference in year one is 6,000. So we'll take 14 minus eight. The difference in year two is negative 2,000. The difference in year, I'm sorry, negative four, negative 4,000. And the difference in year three or X2 is negative 2,000. When you net out the differences, plus six, minus four, minus two, the net difference is zero. So just make sure you make a note of this because we're gonna be looking at the differences and account for them on the next slide. Before we proceed to the next slide, most likely if you are viewing this recording, it's because you are either an accounting student or a CPA candidate. Either or please visit farhatlectures.com for additional resources. I don't replace your CPA review course, you can keep it. I provide you with additional resources, lectures, multiple choice, true, false exercises that's gonna help you with your intermediate accounting courses as well as other courses and your CPA exam. My material is aligned with your Becker, Roger, Wiley, Gleam, Miles or any other CPA course you are taking. So it's easy to follow. I give you access to 1,500 previously released AICPA questions with detailed solution. If you have not connected with me on LinkedIn, please do so. Take a look at my LinkedIn recommendation. Like this recording on YouTube, share it with other. It helps me tremendously. Connect with me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit. And I started a CPA exam support group on group me. Please join us. I will be there as well as other CPA candidate. So let's examine the difference between the income tax expense, which is GAP and income taxes payable IRS. And as I just mentioned in the prior slide, there's a difference of 6,000 and X0, 4,000 negative and X1 and negative 2,000 as a result over three year, the difference is negative. Now we need to know why, why did that happen? Why do we have a difference? Well, the difference is, if you remember for GAP, we had an additional 30,000 included in income. This 30,000 not taxable was not taxable in year X0. Why not? Because the customer did not pay it. They bought the product, but they did not pay it. Therefore it's not taxable. As a result, we need to tell the users of the financial statement. Okay, we need to tell them, yes, we are paying $8,000 this year, but please pay attention. In future years, customers will pay us an additional 30,000 and we are responsible for paying 20% taxes. Therefore we have an additional tax bill of 6,000. This is what we're saying. We're telling the users that in future years, we're gonna have additional tax bill. Not now, in future years, why? Because we have an account receivable on the books, that's not on the IRS, on the tax record yet. So we must account for those temporary difference in the financial statement. Now this 6,000 is a liability. Specifically, we're gonna call it a deferred tax liability. It means in the future, we are responsible for an additional 6,000 based on the receivable that we have on the books for financial accounting. This is what we're saying. Therefore what we do is we create a T account telling, I'm gonna abbreviate D to L, telling the users of the financial statement, please pay attention. We have additional 6,000 in the future, which is not bad because we're gonna be receiving cash. In year acts two, notice here what happened to this, what happened to this liability, the difference reversed. In year acts one, which is year two, which is this is year two, in year two or acts one, what happened is we paid the IRS 18,000, but our income tax expense was only 14. Why? Well, it appears that we are starting to receive the money from the customers. As we receive the money from the customers, we have more in taxes to pay, but for gap purposes we already accounted for that account receivable in year X zero. So our D to L is reduced by four. Then in year acts two, in year acts two, also we have a negative difference of 2000. Well, why? Because the customer kept paying and as the customer paid, we have to send more money to the IRS. And why don't we account for this under gap when the customer paid? Because we already accounted for it in year X zero when it was an account receivable. Therefore by year three, the deferred tax liability is fully reversed and we'll talk about what fully reversed is in a moment. But let me show you how things are reported on the financial statement. For year X zero, under liabilities, we're gonna have the third tax liability of 6000, which is this number here, the difference. It means in the future we have to pay, we are responsible for an additional $6,000. Income tax is payable, this is the money that we're gonna have to send to the IRS 8,000. Our income tax expense is 14,000. Now, this is no coincidence. The 14,000 is composed of two numbers. We have to pay the IRS, the current portion, because you have to know the current portion, the current portion of the taxes is 8,000. We have to pay to the IRS. And we have 6000 the third. The third means we have to pay in the future. So your income tax expense is always composed of two components, the current portion, which represent your income tax is payable, and the third portion. Now, the third portion here happens to be a liability, or increase in liability. Sometime the third portion could be an increase in the third tax asset, which could decrease your income tax expense. I know I'm jumping the gun now, but I just wanna make you aware that you could have the third tax liability, an increase in that, a decrease in that, an increase in the third tax asset, and a decrease in the third tax asset. Don't worry, we'll discuss this later on. But the point is your income tax expense has two components, a current and a long term, and we'll discuss this later on. So why are we doing all of this? We have to go through all this problem, because we had a temporary difference. What is a temporary difference? It's a difference between the tax basis of an asset, or a liability, as it's reported, and the financial statement that would result in a future taxable amount in future years. What does that mean? What does the statement mean? It means per books, per gap, for the purpose of this example, we had an account receivable of 30,000. Per tax return, we cannot account for the account receivable, because we don't have account receivable. We only have taxes when we receive the cash. So as a result of this difference, we have a third tax liability. We have a taxable amount in the future. Now, the temporary difference could result in a deductible amount. The deductible amount means you're gonna have more tax savings in the future rather than a tax liability. Therefore, the temporary difference could result in the third tax liability, D2L, represent an increases in taxes in future years. This is the example that we saw as a result of a taxable temporary difference existing at the end of the year. Or the temporary difference could result in the third taxed asset, which is the opposite, represent the increases in taxes refundable or saved. So sometimes the difference could result in a future tax savings, which we'll see that later on in a different example, where we have the third taxed asset that exists at the end of the current year. Let's go back and look at this full picture and see what happened in year X1 and X2. Because in X0, basically, we know that we're gonna be receiving $30,000 in cash. In year X1, we receive the 20,000. In year X2, we receive the 10,000. Now, as we receive this money, it becomes taxable. It becomes taxable. So let's take a look at how we prepare the journal entry for year X0. Listen to me carefully. This is how you prepare the journal entries. The first thing you figure out in the journal entry is what is my income tax payable? How much do I have to pay the IRS? Well, that's basically a function of your taxable income. Notice the language is very specific times the rate. And we already did this on slide two. And taxable income times the rate gave us $8,000 of IRS bill. So we credit income taxes payable, $8,000. The next thing we figure out is whether we have an income, the third tax asset or the third tax liability, an increase or a decrease. Well, we have a third tax liability. The prior balance was zero and now we book $6,000. Therefore, we credit the third tax liability, $6,000. Now we compute our income tax expense. What is our income tax expense? Our income tax expense is a function of how much you're paying now and what's the changes in the third tax liability. Well, income tax expense now is a plug. Yes, it's a plug, simply it's a plug. Well, you have two credits of 14, the debit must be 14, but you need to understand why, you need to understand why. So I'm writing a check for $8,000. This is part of my income tax expense. And in the future, I'm gonna have to write another check for $6,000. Therefore, my income tax expense for this year is $14,000. Simply put, if you're the third tax liability, increases, you have a credit, how does it affect your income tax expense? Well, if you're the third tax liability went up on the credit, it's gonna increase your income tax expenses. As you're the third tax liability went up, you're saying I'm responsible for more taxes. You have to write this as taxes, like you are accruing an expense. You credit a liability, you debit the related expense.  And once again, where that $6,000 came from, well, I have a receivable on the books. Eventually I'm gonna be receiving the money as a result I have to pay 20% on it as a result I'm responsible for $6,000. So this is X zero, year X zero. So let's take a look at what happened in year X one, in year X one, when I actually start to receive the $20,000. When I received the $20,000, now I have to write a check to the IRS, my taxable income becomes $18,000. If you don't know where that $18,000 coming from, scroll back or pause and go back and see where the taxable income coming from. So I have to write a check to the IRS for $18,000. My income taxes payable is $18,000. Now what happened, the check I'm writing is reducing my deferred tax liability. Why? Because now I receive this 20,000, 20,000 times 20%, now I reduce my liability by 4,000 because I receive the money and I'm paying the cash for it. Therefore my liability goes down. Now if you have a liability called the third tax liability and it's going down and the corresponding account is when you created this liability is income tax expense, if this is going down with a debit, what's happening to your income tax expense? If this is a debit, this must be a credit. It means your income tax expense is going down. Therefore you're gonna debit the third tax liability because now you receive 20,000, you paid the bill, your liability is going down. As a result for that year, your income tax expense will go down as well. So as your deferred tax liability goes down, your income tax expense goes down. Notice we credited income tax payable 18,000. My liability went down by four and this becomes a plug.  Now if I look at my T account, this was X zero and this is X one, I still have a liability of 2,000. And this is when I would receive the 10,000. Now I receive the $10,000, my income tax is payable. I have to write a check to the IRS for 16,000. That's the first thing you do income tax is payable 16. My liability went down, my deferred tax liability went down by 2,000, why? Because if I receive the money, I have to pay 20% taxes on it. I satisfied that liability that I set up initially. Remember I had 6,000 initially, went down by four X one. Now I paid the remaining 2,000, went down by two. My deferred tax liability went down to zero. Remember when my deferred tax liability goes down, it reduces my income tax expense. Now my income tax expense is 16 minus two. 16 minus 2,000 is 14,000. Remember my income tax expense is a function of my current portion of the taxes. And the deferred, now the deferred is going down, not going up. Therefore I'm paying 16, of which 2,000, I'm reducing my deferred, therefore my current, my income tax expense, my total income tax expense is 14,000. So this is what happened to my deferred tax liability after everything is reversed. It means it went down to zero. Now this is how things will show on the balance sheet on the financial statements. For X zero, I had 8,000 of income taxes payable and the third tax liability of six, eight plus six equal to 14,000. And this is my income tax expense. In year X one, my income tax payable was 18 and my liability went down from six to two. So 18 minus four is 14,000. And this is my income tax expense for year two. For year three, my income tax payable is 16 and my liability went from 2,000 to zero. So it went down by two. Eight, 16 minus two equal to 14,000. So notice as my liability goes down, I'm deducting it from my expense. When my liability went up from zero to six, I took eight plus six, gave me the 14,000 in year X zero, which is year one. So this is X zero, X one and X two. What should you do? This is just an introductory session about this topic. I'm gonna have future sessions, but you should go to farhatlectures.com, work MCQs, look at additional resources. This topic is challenging. I'll try to simplify, demystify it as much as I can.  Give me a try, I can help you do better. Good luck, study hard, and of course, stay safe.


I think it's powerfully important that we keep telling these stories because as the next generation arrives on planet Earth and these stories are not told, there could be a tendency to forget. I was born in 1935 when the Nazis were already four years in power. I came to England on the Kinder Transport in 1939. I can remember being very shocked at the huge size of the boat. I remember being frightened that the boat would sink too many people and too much luggage. I experienced it as my being so bad that my parents didn't want me any longer. The truth is that genocide can happen anywhere, at any time to anyone. Unless we take the messages from the past, we won't be able to recognise the signs of genocide and we won't be able to stop it. History tells us that stronger communities, communities that don't create an other, communities that don't fracture into them and us are stronger communities and therefore these sorts of things are less likely to happen. The lessons of the Holocaust have not been learned. The fundamental lesson that all human beings are equal as human beings. We are a long way from accepting that. The important thing is to learn for a purpose, learn from genocide for a better future.


Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you've been investing in a relationship with a man only to find him pulling back, pulling away, starting to bread crumb and that sort of thing?  It is a common occurrence. And I wanted to dive into this a little bit and share with you where I see that women make some mistakes. I think men make some mistakes and how you might want to approach this in the future if you find yourself where a man is pulling away. Now, let's think about the early stage of dating. When two people are physically attracted to one another where you feel a sense of chemistry, a sense of connection, oftentimes it's this emotion, it's not the emotional, it's the physical that's driving the bus. And in during this period there is a bit of emotional connection that happens between two people. When you feel like you're connected to someone. In fact, when I was preparing for this video I was thinking about the TV show, Love is Blind on Netflix. And this is an interesting dynamic where they feel there isn't a physical connection with one another, a physical attraction with one another. They feel an emotional connection with one another. So this kind of in some levels contradicts what I'm about to say but I want to tie this together. So just give me a second. So many cases we meet people out in the real world and it's a physical connection where two people connect. And then the TV show, Love is Blind, it's an emotional connection where two people connect. Although quite frankly these days a lot of people are connecting on that emotional level in the beginning if they're spending a lot of time talking on the phone or a lot of time texting. Okay, let's put this in a box to understand this. And then why would someone pull away if you've made this connection? First off, and a physical attraction is quite necessary to feel a sense of attraction for someone for a relationship to work out. That's a necessity. In addition, an emotional connection is required for a relationship to work out. It's important to have this emotional connection. The reality is is most people on the emotional level are only connecting on a surface level, on a surface level or worse, they're connecting at a trauma level, trauma level. And what I mean to say, especially for those of us in midlife, most of us have childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that are unhealed. So when two people are connecting on a trauma level, what I mean to say is they're sharing their past experiences, how that may affect them. And it feels like emotional intimacy. I'm gonna repeat that. It feels like emotional intimacy. And why I say it feels like it versus it's true emotional intimacy is because when you're connecting at the trauma from an unhealed place, you might feel a bond with this person, but it's not a true connection because it's built on, I don't know exactly the word I wanna choose, but it's built on the negativity. It's not built on the combination of our pain and maybe our joys, okay? It's not built on it. So when it's built on this level of pain, it feels like you're really connecting with a person and yet quite frankly, it's still a weak connection because it's not built on the joys. Okay, so now we put this in a box to understand this. Physical attraction oftentimes drives the bus in most dating scenarios. In some dating scenarios, especially when people are involved in long distance dating or cyber dating, as I call it, they feel a sense of connection on an emotional level. And in many cases, it's based on trauma, building a relationship through traumas. Okay, so well, Jonathan, how's this, what's this do with pulling away? Well, the reality is, is a relationship also needs what's called the meat and potatoes, the meat and potatoes. And that is the day in, day out aspects of your life and the day in, day out aspects of his life and not the talking about the day in, day aspects, but the actual experiencing the day in, day out. This includes social activities. This includes hobbies. This includes spending time with family and friends. This includes traveling together. It is through the doing where two people bond with one another. And while you begin doing life together, you might find that you're incompatible. I know one of our members in the group posted how she's recently connected with a man who's a little bit overweight and physical activity is critically important to her. Physical health is important to her and he's not in the same space. And she asks herself, would this person fit into my life because hiking and walking and doing sports is important to her as an example? And she's thinking about that. And she might consider that this person might not be a fit even though he's a good man, okay? That's one example where there might not be a synergy or an alignment in certain areas of your life. The more complicated things that happen for those of us in midlife is that we might have contentious relationships with people in our lives. Maybe it's our children. Maybe it's our parents. Maybe it's the next spouse. And this contention might cause some friction in the relationship, okay? That's one component. What about personality, okay? You might find that you feel a connection with someone early in the dating process but as you get to know them, they might find your personality grating on them. They may find it on you. You might find it on them, okay? This is where the true aspect of a relationship begins to get birth is when you're in the doing each other and also when you're in that space of being vulnerable, being authentic and transparent with one another in the building of intimacy, okay? So there's the doing of life and then the building of intimacy. And why many men pull away is because there's some level of friction between the two of you on some level. It's a misalignment. We call it, he's just not that into you as terminology but most likely there is some level of friction that is unknown to you, certainly, might not even be known to him. He might be feeling something where he starts to pull back, okay? Based on friction. There's another reason why men pull back is the reality is sometimes love it's an unpredictable tangent. You might like a person, you might like a lot of things about the person, you might get along with them, you might get along with family and friends and such like that. But that feeling of love, it doesn't transfer to a feeling of love. Now, many people are confused about the feeling of love. They actually have a wounding from their childhood that makes them believe that when they're with a dysfunctional person that is love, many of us experience love attachment style from a familiar place that relates to our childhood that might be dysfunctional with this new person, okay? But let me bring this back to the point I was about to make is sometimes a man starts to pull away because he's not feeling genuine love for you, not the kind of love he thinks it's supposed to be. And this is where it gets tricky because some men have a grandiose idea of love, some men have a dysfunctional idea of love and some men have a secure idea of love. And it's tricky on your part because it might be difficult to ascertain where he lies. Okay, so I said in the title is, don't chase them, do this instead. Ladies, many of you believe if you give more to the relationship, if you make yourself more available, if you just giving more to the relationship, it's actually going to strengthen the relationship.  And I recognize that's a challenge. This is why it's critically important in the very early stages of dating is to have deeper conversations, deeper conversations centered around emotional intimacy real emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy, what does that look like? It's being vulnerable, it's being authentic, it's being transparent, it's being radically honest with one another, it's laying your cards on the table with one another. It's also establishing the rules of engagement which simply means what are your standards for a relationship and determining if he shares those standards. Many of you are unafraid, you are afraid, excuse me, to speak your truth. I'm here to say when you're with the right person early on, when there's just a bit of attraction for one another and then you build intimacy outside of that trauma bonding, you have a greater chance for success. Now some men are incapable of crossing over from liking you to loving you. These are men typically that have had significant traumas in their life, mostly adult traumas in this particular case and in many, well, I shouldn't say mostly. There are childhood traumas that makes them doubt love but there's also adult traumas. They've been hurt, they've been cheated on. Beware of the men who have been cheated on and beware of the men who have been hurt by women. It makes them very, it can be a challenge for them to cross over into love. They might like you but crossing over into that space of love. So what do you do in these cases? You read all the books I recommend. Why do I recommend book after book after book? And by the way, you can go to jonathanasley.com forward slash book recommendations to check out all the books I recommend. I share this with you because being better prepared prior to joining or prior to putting yourself out there puts the odds in your favor. That's what you should be doing instead. By being better prepared to be in relationship by healing your own childhood wounds and traumas by addressing some of the past experiences you've had that might have been unpleasant and coming to a place of peace with all of that that puts the odds in your favor. Because many of you are chasing men by believing that if you put more effort in it's gonna make the relationship succeed. And I'm here to suggest start from the very beginning in the dating process to build intimacy. So you have a foundation of real friendship. And so if it doesn't work out, it's gonna be okay as well. You can part on a very loving heart centered way instead of the calamity based way. It seems like it's happening these days. Is this making sense? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know. Please post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. As always, if you find value in the group please tell your friends about midlife love mastery send them to my website, jonathanasli.com have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm gonna sign up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow. Give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye bye now. Bye.


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