volume 7 chapter 9 of Cecilia this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recording by Berenie Cecilia memoirs of an heiress by Francis Burney volume 7 chapter 9 a torment at blank they stopped for dinner Mrs. Charlton being too much fatigue to go on without some rest though the haste of Cecilia to meet Del Vile with time enough for a new arranging their affairs made her regret every moment that was spent upon the road their meal was not long and they were returning to their shays when they were suddenly encountered by Mr. Morris who was just delighted from his horse he congratulated himself upon the happiness of meeting them with the air of a man who nothing doubted that happiness being mutual then hastening to speak of the Grove I could hardly he cried get away my friend Moncton won't know what to do without me for Lady Margaret poor old soul is in a shocking bad way indeed there's hardly any staying in the room with her her breathing is just like the grunting of a hog she can't possibly last long for she's quite upon a last legs and tumbles about so when she walks alone one would swear she was drunk if you take infirmity said Mrs. Charlton who was now helped into the shays for intoxication you must suppose no old person sober lastly well said mum righty I rarely forgot you're being an old lady yourself or I should not have made the observation however as to poor lady Margaret she may do as well as ever by and by but she has an excellent constitution and I suppose she has been hardly any better than she is now these 40 years for I remember when I was quite a boy hearing her called a limping old puddle well we'll discuss this matter if you please said Cecilia some other time and ordered the pastillion to drive on but before they came to their next stage Morris having changed his horse join them and rode on by their side begging them to observe what hasty had made on purpose to have the pleasure of escorting them this forwardness was very offensive to Mrs. Charlton whose years and character had long procured her more deference and respect but Cecilia anxious only to hasten her journey was indifferent to everything save what retarded it at the same in they both again changed horses and he still continued riding with them and occasionally talking till they were within 20 miles of London when a disturbance upon the road exciting his curiosity he hastily rode away from them to inquire into its cause upon coming up to the place whence it proceeded they saw a party of gentlemen on horseback surrounding a chaise which had been just overturned and while the confusion in the road obliged the postillion to stop Cecilia heard a lady's voice exclaiming I declare I dare say I am killed and instantly recollecting Mr. Rawls the fear of discovery and delay made her desire the man to drive on with all speed he was preparing to obey her but Morris galloping after them called out miss Beverly one of the ladies that has been overturned as an acquaintance of yours I used to see her with you at Mrs. Harrell's did you said Cecilia much disconcerted I hope she is not hurt no not at all that the lady with her is bruised to death won't you come and see her I am too much in haste at present and can do them no good but Mrs. Charlton I am sure will spare her servant if he can be of any use oh but the young lady wants to speak to you she is coming up to the chaise as fast as ever she can and how should she know me cried Cecilia with much surprise I am sure she could not see me oh I told her answered Morris with a nod of self-approbation for what he had done I told her it was you for I knew I could soon overtake you displeasure at this officiousness was unavailing for looking out of the window she perceived miss LaRolls followed by half her party not three paces from the chaise oh my dear creature she called out what a terrible accident I assure you I am so monstrously frightened you've no idea it's the luckiest thing in the world that you are going this way never anything happens so excessively provoking you've no notion what a fall we've had it's horrid shocking I assure you how have you been all this time you can't conceive how glad I am to see you and to which will Miss Beverly answer first cried a voice which announced Mr. Gosport the joy or the sorrow for so adroitly are they blended that a common auditor could with difficulty decide whether condolence or congratulation should have the presidency how can you be so excessively horrid cried Miss LaRolls to talk of congratulation when one's in such a shocking panic that one does not know if one's dead or alive dead then for any wager returned he if we may judge by your stillness I desire now you won't begin joking cried she for I assure you it's an excessive serious affair I was never so rejoiced in my life as when I found I was not killed I've been so squeezed you've no notion I thought for a full hour I had broke both my arms and my heart at the same time said Mr. Gosport I hope you did not imagine that the least fragile of the three all our hearts give me leave to add said Captain Ayresby just then advancing all our hearts must have been a beam by the indispositional Miss LaRolls had not their doom been fortunately revoked by the sight of Miss Beverly well this is excessive odd cried Miss LaRolls that everybody should run away so from poor Mrs. Mears should be so affronted you've no idea I thought Captain Ayresby you would have stayed to take care of her I'll run and see how she is myself cried Morris and away he galloped really mom said the captain I am quite oh desispoir to a field in any of my devoir but I make it a principle to be a mere looker on upon these occasions lest I should be so unhappy as to commit any foe poor by too much empress more an admirable caution said Mr. Gosport and to so ardent a temper unnecessary check Cecilia whom the surprise and vexation of so unseasonable a meeting when she particularly wished to have escaped all notice had hitherto kept in painful silence began now to recover some presence of mind and making her compliments to Miss LaRolls and Mr. Gosport with a slight bow to the captain she apologized for hurrying away but told them she had an engagement in London which could not be deferred and was then giving orders to the pastillion to drive on when Morris returning full speed called out the poor lady so bad she is not able to stir a step she can't put a foot to the ground and she says she's quite black and blue so I told her I was sure Miss Beverly would not refuse to make room for her in her shades till the other can be put to rights and she says she shall take it as a great favor here for stillion a little more to the right come ladies and gentlemen get out of the way this impertinence however extraordinary Cecilia could not oppose for Mrs. Charlton ever compassionate and complying whether was any appearance of distress instantly seconded the proposal the Shays therefore was turned back and she was obliged to offer a place in it to Mrs. Mears who though more frightened than hurt readily accepted it notwithstanding to make way for her without incommoting Mrs. Charlton she was forced to get out herself she failed not however to desire that all possible expedition might be used in refitting the other Shays for their reception and all the gentlemen but one dismounted their horses in order to assist or seem to assist in getting it ready this only unconcerned spectator in the midst of the apparent general bustle was Mr. Meadows who viewed all that passed without troubling himself to interfere and with an error of the most evident carelessness whether matters went well or went ill Miss LaRose now returning to the scene of action suddenly screamed out oh dear as my little dog I never thought of him I declare I love him better than anything in the world I would not have him hurt for a hundred thousand pounds Lord where is he crushed or suffocated in the overturn no doubt said Mr. Gossport but as you must have been his executioner what softer death could he die if you will yourself inflict the punishment I will submit to the same fate Lord how you love to plague one cried she and then inquired among the servants what was become of her dog the poor little animal forgotten by its mistress and disregarded by all others was now discovered by its yelping and soon found to have been the most material sufferer by the overturn one of its four legs being broken could screams or lamentations reproaches to the servants or complaints against the destinies have abated his pain or made a callous of the fracture but short would have been the duration of his misery for neither words were saved nor lungs were spared the very air was rent with cries and all present were abraded as if accomplices in the disaster the pestilion at length interrupted this vociferation with news that the Shays was a gain fit for use and Cecilia eager to be gone finding him little regarded repeated what he said to Miss LaRose the Shays cried she why you don't suppose I'll ever get in that horrid Shays any more I do assure you I would not upon any account not get into it said Cecilia for what purpose then have we all waited till it was ready oh I declare I would not go in it for forty thousand worlds I would rather walk to an inn if it's a hundred and fifty miles off but as it happens said Mr. Gasport to be only seven miles I fancy will condescend to ride seven miles Lord how shocking you frightened me so you have no idea poor Mrs. Mears she'll have to go quite alone I dare say the Shays will be down fifty times by the way ten to one but she breaks her neck only conceive how horrid I assure you I am excessive glad I am out of it very friendly indeed said Mr. Gasport Mrs. Mears then may break her bones at her leisure Mrs. Mears however when applied to professed an equal aversion to the carriage in which she had been so unfortunate and declared she would rather walk than return to it though one of her ankles was already so swelled that she could hardly stand why then the best way ladies cried Morris with the look of a man happy and vanquishing all difficulties will be for Mrs. Charlton and that poor lady with the bruises to go together in that sound shades and then for us gentlemen to escort this young lady and Miss Beverly on foot till we all come to the next in Miss Beverly I know is an excellent walker for I have heard Mr. Moncton say so Cecilia though in the utmost consternation at a proposal which must so long retard a journey she had so many reasons to wish hastened knew not how either indecency or humanity to oppose it and the fear of raising suspicion from a consciousness how much there was to suspect forced her to curb her impatience and reduced her even to repeat the offer which Morris had made though she could scarce look at him for anger at his unseasonable forwardness no voice dissenting the troop began to be formed the foot consisted of the two young ladies and Mr. Gossport who were lighted to walk with Cecilia the cavalry of Mr. Meadows the captain and Morris who walked their horses of foot pace while the rest of the party rode on with the shades as attendance upon Mrs. Mears just before they set off Mr. Meadows riding negligently up to the carriage exerted himself so far as to say to Mrs. Mears are you hurt mom and at the same instant seemed to recollect Cecilia he turned about and yawning while he touched his hat said oh how'd you do mom and then without waiting an answer to either of his questions flapped it over his eyes and joined the cavalcade though without appearing to have any consciousness that he belonged to it Cecilia would most gladly have used the rejected shades herself but could not make such a proposal to Mrs. Charlton who was past the age and the courage for even any appearance of enterprise upon inquiry however she had the satisfaction to hear that the distance to the next stage was but two miles though multiplied to seven by the malice of Mr. Gossport Miss LaRose carried her little dog in her arms declaring she would never more trust him a moment away from her she acquainted Cecilia that she had been for some time upon a visit to Mrs. Mears who at the rest of the party had taken her to see house and gardens where they had made an early dinner from which they were just returning home when the shades broke down she then proceeded with her usual volubility to relate the little nothings that had passed since the winter flying from subject to subject with no meaning but to be heard and no wish but to talk ever rapid in speech though minute in detail this locosity met not with any interruption save now and then a sarcastic remark from Mr. Gossport for Cecilia was too much occupied by her own affairs to answer or listen to such uninteresting discourse her silence however was at length forcibly broken Mr. Gossport taking advantage of the first moment Miss LaRose stopped for breath said pray what carries you to town Miss Beverly at this time of the year Cecilia whose thoughts had been wholly employed upon what would pass at her approaching meeting with Del Vile was so entirely unprepared for this question that she could make to it no manner of answer to Mr. Gossport in a tone of some surprise repeated it and then not without hesitation she said I have some business sir in London pray how long have you been in the country business of you criety struck by her evasion and pray what can you and business have in common more than you may imagine answered she with greater steadiness and perhaps before long I may even have enough to teach me the enjoyment of leisure why you don't pretend to play my lady notable and become your own steward and what can I do better what why seek one ready made to take the trouble off your hands there are such creatures to be found I promise you beasts of birthing who will freely undertake the management of your estate for no other reward than the trifling one of possessing it can you know where meet with such an animal I don't know answered she laughing I have not been looking out and have none such made application to you why no I believe not fine fine no register officekeeper has been pestered with more claimants you know they assault you by dozens you must pardon me indeed I know not any such thing you know then why they do not and that is much the same I may conjecture why at least the place I suppose is not worth the service no no the place they conclude is already seized and the fee simple of the estate is the heart of the owner is it not so the heart of the owner answered she a little confused may indeed be simple but not perhaps so easily seized as you imagine have you then wisely saved it from a storm by a generous surrender you have been indeed in an excellent school for the study both of attack and defense del vile castle is a fortress which even in ruins proves its strength by its antiquity and it teaches also an admirable lesson by displaying the dangerous the infallible power of time which defies all might and undermines all strength which breaks down every barrier and shoes nothing in durable but itself then looking at her with an arch earnestness I think he added you made a long visit there and did this observation never occur to you did you never perceive never feel rather the insidious properties of time yes certainly answered she alarmed at the very mention of del vile castle yet affecting to understand literally what was said metaphorically the havoc of time upon the place could not fail striking me and was its havoc said he yet more archly merely external is all within safe sound and firm and did the length of your residence show its power by no new mischief doubtless not answered she with the same pretended ignorance the place is not in so desperate a condition as to exhibit any visible marks of decay in the course of three or four months and do you not know criety that the place to which I elude may receive a mischief in as many minutes which double the number of years cannot rectify the internal parts of a building are not less vulnerable to accident than its outside and though the evil may more easily be concealed it will with greater difficulty be remedied many a fair structure have I seen which like that now before me looking with much significance at Cecilia has to the I seemed perfect in all its parts and unhurt either by time or casualty while within some lurking evil some latent injury has secretly worked its way into the very heart of the edifice where it has consumed its strength and laid waste its powers till seeking deeper and deeper it has sapped its very foundation before the superstructure has exhibited any token of danger is such an accident among the things you hold to be possible your language said she coloring very high is so florid that I must own it renders your meaning rather obscure shall I illustrate it by an example suppose during your abode in del vial castle no no interrupted she within voluntary quickness why should I trouble you to make illustrations oh pray my dear creature cried miss laurels how is miss harrell I was never so sorry for anybody in my life I quite forgot to ask after her I poor harrell cried morris he was a great loss to his friends I had just begun to have a regard for him we were growing extremely intimate poor fellow he rarely gave most excellent dinners harrell suddenly exclaimed mr. meadows who seemed just then to first hear what was going forward who was he oh as good natured a fellow as ever I knew in my life answered morris he was never out of humor he was drinking and singing and dancing till the very last moment don't to remember him sir that night at vo Hall mr. Meadows made not any answer but rode languidly on morris ever more flippant than sagacious called out I really believe the gentleman's death he won't so much as say oomph and hey now but I'll give him such a hello in his ears as shall make him hear me whether he will or no sir I say bawling aloud have you forgot that night at vo Hall mr. Meadows starting at being thus shouted at look towards morris with some surprise and said were you so obliging sir as to speak to me lord yes sir said morris amazed I thought you had asked something about mr. Harrell so I just made an answer to it that's all sir you are very good returned he slightly bowing and then looking another way as if thoroughly satisfied with what had passed but I say sir resumed morris don't to remember her mr. Harrell mr. who sir mr. Harrell sir was not you just now asking me who he was oh I true cried meadows in a tone of extreme weariness I am much obliged to you pray give my respects to him and touching his hat he was riding away but the astonished morris called out your respects to him why lord sir don't you know he's dead dead who sir why mr. Harrell sir harrell oh very true cried meadows with the face of sudden recollection he shot himself I think or was knocked down or something of that sort I remember it perfectly oh pray cried mr. LaRoules don't let's talk about it it's a cruel listing I ever knew in my life I assure you I was so shocked I thought I should never have got the better of it I remember the next night at ran a lot I could talk of nothing else I dare say I told it to five hundred people I assure you I was tired to death only conceive how distressing an excellent method cried mr. Gosport to drive it out of your own head by driving it in to the heads of your neighbors but were you not afraid by such an emulation of pathos to burst as many hearts as you had auditors oh I assure you cried she everybody was so excessive shocked you've no notion one heard of nothing else all the world was raving mad about it really yes quite the captain if this subject was obsidian upon one part two there was scarce any breathing for it it poured from all directions I must confess I was onion tea with it to a degree but the most shocking thing in nature cried mr. LaRoules was going to the sale I never missed a single day one used to meet the whole world there and everybody was so sorry you can't conceive it was quite horrid I assure you I never suffered so much before it made me so unhappy you can't imagine that I am most ready to grant said mr. Gosport be the powers of imagination ever so eccentric Sir Robert Flawyer and mr. Marriott continued Miss LaRoules have behaved so ill you've no idea for they have done nothing ever since but say how monstrously mr. Harrell had cheated them and how they lost such immense sums by him only conceive how ill-natured and they complain cried Morris that old Mr. Del Vile used them worse for that when they had been defrauded of all that money on purpose to pay their addresses to Miss Beverly he would never let them see her but all of a sudden took her off into the country on purpose to marry her to his own son the cheeks of Cecilia now glowed with the deepest blushes but finding by a general silence that she was expected to make some answer she said with what unconcerned she could assume they were very much mistaken Mr. Del Vile had no such view indeed cried mr. Gosport again perceiving her change of countenance and is it possible you have actually escaped a siege while everybody concluded you taken by assault pray where is young Del Vile at present I don't I can't tell sir is it long since you have seen him it is two months answered she with yet more hesitation since I was at Del Vile castle oh but cried Morris did not you see him while he was in Suffolk I believe indeed he is there now for it was only yesterday I heard of his coming down by a gentleman who called upon Lady Margaret and told us he had seen a stranger a day or two ago at Mrs. Chalton's door and when he asked who he was they told him his name was Del Vile and said he was on a visit at Mr. Biddles Cecilia was quite confounded by this speech to have it known that Del Vile had visited her was in itself alarming but to have her own equivocation thus glaringly exposed was infinitely more dangerous the just suspicions to which it must give rise filled her with dread and the palpable evasion in which she had been discovered overwhelmed her with confusion so you had forgotten said mr. Gosport looking at her with much archeness but you had seen him within the two months but no wonder for where is the lady who having so many admirers can be at the trouble to remember which of them she saw last or who being so accustomed to adulation can hold it worthwhile to inquire whence it comes a thousand mr. Del Vile's are to Miss Beverly but as one used from them all to the same tale she regards them not individually as lovers but collectively as men and to gather even from herself which she is most inclined to favour she must probably desire like Porsche in the merchant of Venice that their names may be run over one by one before she can distinctly tell which is which the gallant gaiety of this speech was some relief to Cecilia who was beginning a laughing reply when Morris called out that man looks as if he was upon the scout and raising her eyes she perceived a man on horseback who though much muffled up his hat flapped and a handkerchief held to his mouth and chin she instantly by his air and figure recognized to be Del Vile in much consternation at this site she forgot what she meant to say and dropping her eyes walked silently on mr. Gasport attentive to her motions looked from her to the horseman and after a short examination said I think I have seen that man before have you miss Beverly me no answered she I believe not I hardly indeed see him now I have I am pretty sure said Morris and if I could see his face I dare say I should recollect him he seems very willing to know if he can recollect any of us said mr. Gasport and if I am not mistaken he sees much better than he has seen he was now come up to them and though a glance suffice to discover the object of his search the sight of the party with which she was surrounded made him not dare stop or speak to her and therefore clapping spurs to his horse he galloped past them see cried Morris looking after him how he turns round to examine us I wonder who he is perhaps some highwayman cried miss LaRose I assure you I am in a prodigious fright I should hate to be robbed so you can't think I was going to make much the same conjecture said mr. Gasport and if I am not greatly deceived that man is a robber of no common sort what think you miss Beverly can you discern a thief in disguise no indeed I pretend to know such extraordinary knowledge that's true for all that you pretend to is extraordinary ignorance I have a good mind said Morris to ride after him and see what he is about what for exclaim Cecilia greatly alarmed there can certainly be no occasion no prey don't cried miss LaRose for I assure you if he should come back to rob us I should die upon the spot nothing could be so disagreeable I should scream so you've no idea Morris then gave up the proposal and they walked quietly on but Cecilia was extremely disturbed by this accident she readily conjectured that impatient for her arrival DelVile had ridden that way to see what had retarded her and she was sensible that nothing could be so desirable as an immediate explanation of the motive of her journey such a meeting therefore had she had been alone was just what she could have wished though thus unluckily encompassed it only added to her anxiety involuntarily however she quickened her pace through her eagerness to be relieved from so troublesome a party but Miss LaRose who was in no such haste protested she could not keep up with her saying you don't consider that I have got this sweet little dog to carry and he is such a shocking plague to me you've no notion only conceive what a weight he is pray madam cried Morris let me take him for you I'll be very careful of him I promise you and you need not be afraid to trust me for I understand more about dogs than about anything Miss LaRose after many fond caresses being really weary consented and Morris placed the little animal before him on horseback but while this matter was adjusting and Miss LaRose was giving directions how she would have it held Morris exclaimed look that man is coming back he is certainly watching us there now he's going off again I suppose he saw me remarking him I dare say he's laying in wait to rob us said Miss LaRose so when we turn off the high road to go to mrs. Mears I suppose he'll come galloping after us it's excessive horrid I assure you to the petrifying thing said the captain that one must always be deguté by some wretched being or other of this sort but pray be not deranged I will ride after him if you please and do more than possible to get rid of him indeed I wish you would answered Miss LaRose for I assure you he has put such shocking notions into my head it's quite disagreeable I shall make it a principle said the captain to have the honor of obeying you and was riding off when Cecilia in great agitation called out why should you go sir he is not in our way pray let him alone for what purpose should you pursue him I hope said mr. Gasport for the purpose of making him join our company to some part of which I fancy he would be no very intolerable addition this speech again silenced Cecilia who perceived with the utmost confusion that both Del Vile and herself were undoubtedly suspected by mr. Gasport if not already actually betrayed to him she was obliged therefore to let the matter take its course though quite sick with apprehension lest a full discovery should follow the projected pursuit the captain who wanted not courage however deeply in vanity and affectation he had buried common sense stood suspended upon the request of Cecilia that he would not go and with a shrug of distress said give me leave to own I am parfaitement in a state the most accrablan in the world nothing could give me greater pleasure than to profit of the occasion to accommodate either of these ladies but as they proceed upon different principles I am indecy day to a degree which way to turn myself put it to the vote then said Morris the two ladies have both spoke now then for the gentleman come sir to mr. Gasport what say you oh fetch the culprit back by all means answered he and then let us all insist upon his opening his calls by telling us in what he has offended us for there is no part of his business I believe with which we are less acquainted well said Morris I'm for asking him a few questions too so is the captain so everybody has spoke but you sir addressing himself to mr. Meadows so now sir let's hear your opinion mr. Meadows appearing wholly inattentive rode on why sir I say cried Morris louder we are all waiting for your vote pray what is the gentleman's name it's do so hard to make him hear one his name is meadows said mr. Rolls in a low voice and I assure you sometimes he won't hear people by the hour together he's so excessive absent you've no notion one day he made me so mad that I could not help crying and mr. Sawyer was standing by the whole time and I assure you I believe he laughed at me only conceive how distressing maybe said Morris it's out of bashfulness perhaps he thinks we shall cut him up bashfulness repeated mr. Rolls lord you don't conceive the thing at all why he's at the very head of the tongue there's nothing in the world so fashionable as taking no notice of things and never seeing people and saying nothing at all and never hearing a word and not knowing one's own acquaintance all the time people do so and I assure you as to mr. Meadows he's so excessively courted by everybody that if he does but say a syllable he thinks it's such an immense favour you've no idea this account however little alluring in itself of his celebrity was yet sufficient to make Morris covet his further acquaintance for Morris was ever attentive to turn his pleasure to his profit and never negligent of his interest but when ignorant how to pursue it he returned therefore to the charge though by no means with the same freedom he had begun it and lowering his voice to a tone of respect and submission he said pray sir may we take the liberty to ask your advice whether we shall go on or take a turn back mr. Meadows made not any answer but when Morris was going to repeat his question without appearing even to know that he was near him he abruptly said to mr. Rolls pray what has become of mrs. Meadows I don't see her amongst us lord mr. Meadows exclaimed she how can you be so odd don't you remember she went on in the chaise to the inn oh I true criety I protest I had quite forgot it my beg your pardon indeed yes I recollect now as she fell off her horse her horse why you know she was in her chaise her chaise was it I true so it was poor thing I'm glad she was not hurt not hurt why she's so excessively bruised she can't stir a step only conceive what a memory you've got I am most extremely sorry for her indeed criety again stretching himself and yawning oh so I hope she won't die do you think she will die repeated mr. Rolls with a scream lord how shocking you are really enough to frighten one to hear you but sir said Morris I wish you would be so kind as to give us your vote the man will else be gone so far we shan't be able to overtake him though I do really believe that is the very fellow coming back to peep at us again I am on we a to a degree cried the captain he is certainly set upon us as a spy and I must really beg to inquire of him upon what principle he incommodes us and instantly he wrote after him and so will I too cried Morris following mr. Rolls screamed after him to give her first a little dog but with the schoolboy's eagerness to be foremost he galloped on without heeding her the uneasiness of Cecilia now increased every moment the discovery of del vile seemed unavoidable and his impatient and indiscreet watchfulness must have rendered the motives of his disguise but too glaring all she had left to hope was arriving at the inn before the detection was announced and at least saving herself the cruel mortification of hearing the railery which would follow it even this however was not allowed her miss the rolls whom she had no means to quit hardly stirred another step from her anxiety for her dog and the earnestness of her curiosity about the stranger she loitered stopped now to talk and now to listen and was scarce moved a yard from the spot which she had been left when the captain and Morris returned we could not for our lives overtake the fellow said Morris he was well mounted I promise you and our warranty knows what he's about for he turned off so short at a place where there were two narrow lanes that we could not make out which way he went Cecilia relieved and delighted by the unexpected escape now recovered her composure and was content to center on without repining but though we could not seize his person said the captain we have I hope therefore miss LaRose will make a revoke of her apprehensions the answer to this was nothing but a loud scream with an exclamation Lord where's my dog your dog cried Morris looking aghast good stars I never thought of him how excessive barbarous cried miss LaRose you've killed him I dare say only think how shocking I'd rather have seen anybody serve so in the world I shall never forgive it I assure you Lord mom said Morris how can you suppose I've killed him poor pretty creature I'm sure I liked him prodigiously I can't think for my life where he can be but I have a notion he must have dropped down somewhere while I happen to be on full gallop I'll go look for him however for we went at such a rate that I never missed him away again road Morris I am a beam to the greatest agree sir the captain that the poor little sweet fellow should be lost if I had thought him in any danger I would have made it a principle to have had a regard to his person myself will you give me leave mom to have the honor of seeking him part two oh I wish you would with all my heart for I assure you if I don't find him I shall think it's so excessive distressing you can't conceive the captain touched his hat and was gone these repeated impediments almost robbed Cecilia of all patience yet her total inability of resistance obliged her to submit and compelled her to go stop or turn according to their own motions now if mr. Meadows had the least good nature in the world said Miss Slurrols he would offer to help us but he's so excessive odd that I believe if we were all of us to fall down and break our necks he would be so absent he would hardly take the trouble to ask how we did why in so desperate a case said mr. Gasport the trouble would be rather superfluous however don't repine that one of the cavaliers stays with us by way of guard lest your friend the spy should take us by surprise while our troop is dispersed oh lord cried Miss Slurrols now you put it in my head I dare say that wretch has got my dog only think how horrid I saw plainly said mr. Gasport looking significantly at Cecilia that he was philoniously inclined though I must confess I took him not for a dog-stealer Miss Slurrols then running up to mr. Meadows called out I have a prodigious immense favor to ask of you mr. Meadows mom cried mr.  Meadows oh melancholy the sink of all vice and depravity streets without light houses without air neighborhood without society talkers without listeners it is astonishing any rational being can endure to be so miserably immured Lord mr. Meadows cried she angrily I believe you would have one live nowhere true very true mom said he yawning one really lives nowhere one does but vegetate and wish it all at an end don't you find it so mom me no indeed I assure you I like living of all things whenever I meal I'm in such a fright you've no idea I always think I'm going to die and it puts me so out of spirits you can't think does it not you too here mr. Meadows looking another way began to whistle Lord cried Miss Lurrols how excessive distressing to ask one questions and then never hear what one answers here the captain returned alone and miss Lurrols flying to meet him demanded where was her dog I have the maubure to assure you answer he that I never was more onion tea in my life the pretty little fellow has broke another leg miss Lurrols in a passion of grief then declared she was certain that Morris had maimed him thus on purpose and desired to know where the vile wretch was he was so much discomposed at the incident replied the captain that he rode instantly another way I took up the pretty fellow therefore myself and have done more than possible not to derange him the unfortunate little animal was then delivered to miss Lurrols and after much lamentation they at length continued their walk and without further adventure arrived at the inn end of chapter nine recording by barony volume eight chapter one of Cecilia this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information auto volunteer please visit LibriVox.org recorded by Shulifa Mulligan Cecilia memoirs of an heiress by Francis Burney volume eight chapter one an interruption but here instead of finding as she expected mrs. Charlton and fresh horses in readiness Cecilia saw neither shades nor preparation mrs. Charlton was quietly seated in a partner and drinking tea with mrs. Mears vexed and disappointed she ordered horses immediately to the shares and untreated mrs. Charlton to lose no more time with the various delays which had already retarded them had made it now so late that it was impossible to get into London by daylight and mrs. Charlton not having courage to be upon the road after dark had settled to sleep at the inn and proposed not to proceed till the next morning half distracted at this new difficulty Cecilia back to speak with her alone and then represented in the most earnest manner the absolute necessity there was for her being in London that night everything depends upon it and the whole purpose of my journey will otherwise be lost for mrs. Delville will also think him extremely ill-used and to make him reparation I may be compelled to submit almost whatever terms he shall propose mrs. Charlton kind and yielding with a stood not this entreaty which is Cecilia made with infinite pain to herself from the reluctance she felt to pursuing her own interest and inclination in opposition to those of a worthy old friend but as she was now circumstanced she considered the immediate prosecution of her journey at her only resource against first irritating Delville by an abrupt disappointment and appeasing him next by concession which would make such a disappointment end in nothing the shares were soon ready and mrs. Charlton and Cecilia were rising to take leave of the company when a man and horse galloped full speed into the in-yard and in less than a minute Maurice bounced into his room. Ladies and gentlemen! cried he quite out of breath with haste. I have got some news for you. I've just found out who that person is that has been watching us. Cecilia starting of this most unwelcome intelligence would now have run into his shares without hearing him proceed but mrs. Charlton who knew neither whom nor what he meant involuntarily stopped and Cecilia whose arm she leaned upon was compelled to stay. Everyone else eagerly desired to know who he was. Why, I'll tell you, said he, how I found him out. I wasn't thinking in my own mind what I could possibly do to make amends for that unlucky accident about the dog and just then I spined the very man that had made me drop him. So I thought at least I'd found out who he was. I read up to him so quick that he could not get away from me, though I saw plainly it was the thing he meant, but still he kept himself muffled up just as he did before. Not so snug, thought I, my friend, I shall have you yet. It's a fine evening, sir, says I, but he took no notice. Those are like him more to the point. Sir, says I, I think I have had the pleasure of seeing you, though I quite forgot where. Still he made no answer. If you have no objection, sir, says I, I shall be glad to ride with you for the night's coming on, and we have neither of us a servant. But then, without a word speaking, he rode on the quicker. However, I jocked by his side as fast as he, and said, Racer, did you know any thing of that company you were looking at so hard just now? And of this he could hold out no longer. He turned to me in a most fierce passion, and said, Racer, don't be troublesome. And then he got off. For when I found by his voice who he was, I let him alone. Cecilia, who could bear to hear no more, again hastened Mrs. Jarton, who now moved on. But Maurice, stopping between them both, and the doors said, Now, do bray, Miss Beverly, guess who it was? No, indeed I cannot, said she, and the utmost confusion. Nor have I any time to hear. Come, dear madam, we shall be very late indeed. Oh, but I must tell you before you go. Why, it was young, Mr. Dalville, the same that I saw with you one night as a pantheon, that I used to meet last spring at Mr. Harrell's. Mrs. Dalville? repeated everyone. Very strange, he should not speak. Bray, ma'am, continued Maurice. Is it not the same gentleman that was at Mrs. Bedelves? Cecilia, half-dead, with shame and vexation, stammered out. No. No, I believe not. I can't tell. I have another moment to spare. And then at last got Mrs. Jarton out of the room, and into the shares. But scissor, before she could drive off, she was followed by Mr. Gosford, who gravely came to offer his advice, that she would immediately lodge an information at the public office at Bow Street, that a very suspicious looking man had been observed loitering in those parts, who appeared to harbour most dangerous designs against her personal property. Cecilia was too much confounded to early your reply. And Mr. Gosford returned to his party with his speech unanswered. The rest of the journey was without any new casualty. For late as it was, they escaped being robbed, but neither robbers nor new casualties were wanting to make it unpleasant to Cecilia. The incidents which had already happened suffice for that purpose. And the consciousness of being so generally betrayed, added to the delay of her recantation, prepared her for nothing but mortifications to herself, and conflicts with Delville the most bitter and severe. It was near ten o'clock before they arrived in Palmisle. The house to which Delville had given directions was easily found, and the servants and forward had prepared the people of it for their reception. In the cruel's anxiety and trepidation, Cecilia then counted every moment till Delville came. She planned an apology for her conduct, with all the address of which she was mistress, undetermined to bear his disappointment and indignation with firmness. Yet the part she had to act was both hard and artificial. She sighed to have it over, and repined she must have it at all. The instant there was a knock at the door, she flew out upon the stairs to listen, and hearing his well-known voice inquiring for the ladies who had just taken the lodgings, she ran back to Mrs. Jarton saying, Ah, madam, assist me, I entreat. For now must I merit, or forfeit your esteem for ever. Can you pardon, cried Delville as he entered the room, an intrusion which was not in our bond, but how could I wait till to-morrow, when I knew you were in town to-night? He then made his compliments to Mrs. Jarton, and, after inquiring how she had borne her journey, turned again to Cecilia, whose uneasy sensations he saw but too plainly in her countenance. Are you angry, cried he anxiously, that I have ventured to come hither to-night? No, answered she, struggling with all her feelings for composure. What do you wish is easily excused, and I am glad to see you to-night, because otherwise— she hesitated, and Delville little imagining why, thanked her in the warmest terms for her condescension. He then related how he had been tormented by Maurice, inquired why Mr. Moncton had not accompanied her, and what could possibly have induced her to make a journey so late, or was it so large a party, to be walking upon the high road instead of hastening to London? I want not, answered she, more steadily, at your surprise, though I have now no time to lessen it. You have never, I find, received my letter. No, cried he, much as struck by her manner. Was it to forbid our meeting till to-morrow? To-morrow? she repeated expressively. No! It was to forbid. Heard the door was suddenly opened, and Maurice burst into his room. The dismay and astonishment of Delville outside of him could only be equaled by the confusion and consternation of Cecilia, but Maurice, perceiving neither, abruptly called out, Miss Beverly, I quite beg your pardon for coming so late, but you must know, then stopping short upon seeing Delville. Good Lord! he exclaimed, if he is not our gentleman's spy, why, sir, you have not spared the spur. I left you galloping off quite another way. However that may be, sir, cried Delville equally enraged at the interruption and the observation. You did not, I presume, wait upon Miss Beverly to talk of me. No, sir, answered he lightly, for I had told her all about yet at the inn. Did not I, Miss Beverly? Did not I tell you? I was sure it was Miss Delville that was dodging us about so, though I believe, sir, you thought I had not found you out. And pray, young man, said Mrs. Charlton, much offended by this familiar intrusion. How did you find us out? Why, ma'am, by the luckiest accident in the world! Just as I was riding into town, I met the return shares that brought you, and I knew the postillion very well, as I go that road pretty often, so by the nearest chance in the world, I saw him by the light of the moon, and then he told me where he had set you down. And pray, sir, again asked Mrs. Charlton, what was your reason for making the inquiry? Why, ma'am, I had a little favour to ask of Miss Beverly, that made me think I would take the liberty to call. And was this time of night, sir? she returned, the only one you could chase for that purpose. Why, ma'am, I'll tell you how that was. I did not mean to have called till to-morrow morning, but as I was willing to know the postillion had given me a right direction, I knocked one soft little knock at the door, thinking you might be gone to bed after your journey, merely to ask if it was right house. But when the servant told me there was a gentleman with you already, I thought there would be no harm in just stepping for a moment upstairs. And what, sir? said Cecilia, whom Mingle-Chame and Vexation had his ito kept silent. Is your business with me? Why, ma'am, I only just called to give you a direction to a most excellent dog-doctor, as you call him, that lives at a corner of— A dog-doctor, sir? repeated Cecilia. And what have I to do with any such direction? Why, it was no, ma'am! I have been in the greatest concern imaginable about that accident, which happened to me with the poor little dog, and so— What little dog, sir? cried Delville, who now began to conclude he was not sober. Do you know what you are talking of? Yes, sir, for it was of that very little dog you made me drop out of my arms, by which means he broke his other leg. I made you drop him? cried Delville angrily. I believe so, you had much better call some other time. It does not appear to me that you are in a proper situation for remaining here at present. Sir, I shall be gone in an instant, answered Maurice. I merely wanted to beg the favour of Miss Bethelie to tell that young lady, that owned the dog, that if she will carry him to this man, I am sure he will make a cure of him. Come, sir, said Delville, convinced now of his inebriity. If you please, we will walk away together. I don't mean to take you away, sir, said Maurice, looking very significantly, where I suppose you have not rode so hard to go so soon, but as to me I'll only ride the direction and be off. Delville amazed and irritated at so many following specimens of ignorant assurance, would not, in his present eagerness, have scrupled turning him out of the house, had he not sorted and prudent, upon such an occasion, to quarrel with him. And improper, at so late an hour, to be left behind. Therefore only, while he was riding the direction towards Cecilia, in a low voice, that he would get rid of him and return in an instant. They then went together, leaving Cecilia in an agony of distress, surpassing all she had hitherto experienced. Ah, Mrs. Charlton! she cried. What refuge have I now from ridicule, or perhaps disgrace? Mrs. Delville has been detected watching me in disguise, has been discovered at this late hour meeting me in private. The story will reach its family with all the hyperbole of exaggeration. How will his noble mother disdain me? How cruelly shall I sing before the severity of her eye? Mrs. Charlton tried to comfort her, but the effort was vain, and she spent her time in the bidderest repining till eleven o'clock. Delville's not returning, then added wonder to her sadness, and the impropriate of his returning at all so late grew every instant more glaring. At last, throwing great disturbance and evidently much ruffled in his temper, he came. I feared, he cried, I had passed a time for admittance, and the torture had been suffered from being detained as almost driven me wild. I have been a misery to see you again.  All I have felt me with alarm, and though I know not what it is I have to dread, I find it impossible to rest a moment without some explanation. Tell me, then, why you seem thus strange and thus depressed. Tell me what that letter was to forbid.  That letter, said Cecilia, would have explained to you all. I scarce know how to communicate its contents, yet I hope you will hear with patience what I acknowledge I have resolved upon only from necessity. That letter was to tell you that to-morrow we must not meet. It was to prepare you indeed for a meeting perhaps never more. Grace is heaven, exclaimed he, starting. What is it you mean? That I have made a promise too rash to be kept, that you must pardon me if, later, as it is, I retract, that I am convinced it was wrong, and must be wretched in performing it. Confounded and dismayed, for a moment he continued silent, and then passionately called out, Who has been with you to defame me in your opinion? Who has barbed as we wronged my character since I left you Monday? Mr. Moncton received me calledly. Has he injured me in your esteem? Tell me, but to whom I owe this change, that my vindication, if it restores not your favour, may at least make you cease to that once I was honoured with some share of it. It wants not to be restored, said Cecilia, with much softness. Since it has never been alienated. Be satisfied that I think of you as I thought when we last parted, and generously forbear to reproach me, when I assure you I am actuated by principles which ought not to disapprove. And are you then unchanged? cried he more gently. And is her esteem for me still? I thought it justice to say so once, cried she hastily interrupting him. But except for me nothing more. It is too late for us now to talk any longer. To-morrow you may find on my letters Mrs. Roberts—I'm that short as it is—contains my resolution, and its cause. Never! cried he vehemently. Can I quit you without knowing it? I would not linger till to-morrow, and this is spent to be master of the universe. I have told it you, sir, already. Whatever is clandestine carries the consciousness of evil, and so repugnant do I find it to my disposition and opinions, that till you give me back the promise I so unworthily made, I must be estranged to peace, because at war with my own actions and myself. Recover then your peace! cried Elvill, with much emotion. For I hear equity of all promise. To fatter, to compel you where too inhuman to afford me any happiness, yet hear me dispassionately hear me, and deliberate a moment before you resolve upon my exile. Your scruples I am not now going to combat. I grieve that they are so powerful, but I have no new arguments with which to pose them. All I have to say is that it is now too late for a retreat to satisfy them. True, sir, I am far too true, that it is always better to ride, however tardily, always better to repent than to grow callous and wrong. So for not, however, your delicacy for my family to make you forget, which is due to yourself, as well as to me.  The honour I have had in view is already known to many, and in a very short time, there none will be ignorant of it. That impudent young man, Maurice, have the affinity to rally me upon my passion for you, and though I reproofed him with great disparity, he followed me into a coffee-house, whither I went merely to avoid him. There I forced myself to stay till I saw him engaged with his newspaper, and then, through various private streets and alleys, I returned his ear, but judgment my indignation when the moment I knocked at the door, I perceived him again at my side. Did he then see you come in? I angrily demanded what he meant by thus pursuing me. He very submissively begged my pardon, and said he had had a notion I should come back, and had therefore only followed me to see if he was right. I hesitated for an instant whether to chastise or confide in him, but believing a few hours would make his impertinence immaterial, I did neither. The door opened, and I came in. He stopped, but Cecilia was too much shocked to answer him. Now then, said he, weigh your objection against the consequences which must follow. It is this covenant I attended you in town. It will be presumed I had your permission for such attendance, to separate, therefore, now, will be to no purpose with respect to that delicacy which make you wish it. It will be food for conjecture, for inquiry, for wonder, almost while both our names are remembered, and while to me it will bring the keenest misery and the severity of my disappointment, it will cast over your own conduct a veil of mystery and obscurity, wholly subversive of that unclouded openness, that fair, transpirited geniusness by which it has hitherto been distinguished. I'll ask then, said she, how dreadfully have I erred, that whatever path I now take must lead me wrong. You overwhelm me with grief, cried Delville, by finding you thus distressed. And I had hoped, O cruel Cecilia, had different to this did I hope to have met you, all your doubts settled, all your fears removed, your mind perfectly composed and ready, unrelectantly to retify the promise which so much sweetness accorded me. Where now are those hopes? Where now? Why will you not be gone? cried Cecilia, uneasily. Indeed, it is too late this day. Tell me first, cried he, with great energy, and let a good Mrs. Jordan speak too, ought not every objection to our union, however potent to give way, with that further hesitation to the certainty that our intending it must become public. Who that hears of our meeting in London at such a season and such a circumstances, and at such hours? And why? cried Cecilia angrily. Do you mention them, and yet stay? I must speak now, asked he with quickness, or loose for ever all that is dear to me, and adds to the misery of that loss, the hard-peacing reflection of having injured her, whom of all the world I most love, most value, and most revere. And how injured? cried Cecilia, half alarmed and half displeased. Surely am I strangely have lived to fear now the voice of Calumny? If any one has ever, returned he, so lived as to dare defy it, this bevelly is she. But those saved by the established purity of your character from Calumny, there are other and scarceless invidious attacks from which no one is exempt, and of which the refinement, the sensibility of your mind, will render you but the more so skeptical. Ridicule has shafts, and impertinent has arrows, which is though against innocence if they may be levelled in vain, have always the power of warning tranquillity, struck with the truth which he could not controvert. Cecilia sighed deeply, but spoke not. Mr. Delville is right, said Mrs. Charlton, and though your plan, my dear Cecilia, was certainly verges and proper, when you set out from Berry, the papers of your journey must now be made so public that it will no longer be judicious nor rational. Delville poured forth his warmest sangs for this friendly interposition, and then, strengthened by such an advocate, re-urged all his arguments with redoubled hope and spirit. Cecilia disturbed, uncertain, comfortless, could frame her mind in no resolution. She walked about the room, deliberated, determined, wavered, and deliberated again. Delville then grew more urgent, and represented so strongly the various modifications which must follow so tardy renunciation of their intentions, the terrified and perplexed, and fearing the breach of their union would now be more injurious to her than her stratification. She ceased all opposition to his arguments, and uttered no words but of solicitation that he would leave her. I will, cried he. I will be gone this very moment. Tell me, but first you will think of what I have said, and refer me not to your letter. But dain yourself to pronounce my doom when you have considered, if it may not be softened. To this she tacitly consented, and delayed it with fresh rising hope he recommended his cause to the patronage of Mrs. Charlton, and then taking leave of Cecilia. I go, he said, though I have yet a thousand things to propose and to supplicate, and though still in a suspense that my temper knows ill how to endure, but I should rather be rendered miserable than happy, and merely overpowering your reason by entreaty. I leave you, therefore, to your own reflections, yet remember, and refuse not to remember with some compunction, that all chance, all possibility of earthly happiness for me, depends upon your decision. He then tore himself away. Cecilia, shocked at the fatigue she had to occasion to her good old friend, now compelled her to go to rest, and decided the remaining part of the night to interrupt her deliberation. It seemed once more in her power to be mischievous of a destiny, but the very liberty of choice she had so much coveted, now attained, appeared the most heavy of calamities. Since uncertain even what she ought to do, she rather wished to be drawn than to lead, rather desire to be guided than to guide. She was to be responsible not only to the world, but to herself for the whole of this momentous transaction, and the terror of leaving either dissatisfied, made independence burdensome, and unlimited power a grievance. The happiness or misery which awaited her resolution, were but secondary considerations in the present state of her mind. Her consent to a clandestine action she lamented as an eternal blot to her character, and the undoubted publication of that consent is equally injurious to her fame. Neither retracting nor fulfilling her engagement could now retrieve what was past, and in the bitterness of regret for the error she had committed, she thought happiness unattainable for the remainder of her life.  Morning however came, and upon something to fix was indispensable. She now therefore finally employed herself, and briefly, comparing the good with the evil of giving Delville holy up, or becoming his forever. In accepting him she was exposed to all the displeasure of his relations, and which affected her most, to the indignant severity of his mother. But not another obstacle could be found that seemed of any way to oppose him. In refusing him, she was liable to the decision of the world, to sneer from strangers and remonstances from her friends, to becoming a topic for ridicule if not of slander, at an object of curiosity if not of contempt. The ills therefore that threatened her marriage, though most afflicting, were least as graceful, and those which awaited at Spreege, if Lazarus were more mortifying. At length, after weighing every circumstance as well as her perturbed spirits would permit, she concluded that so late a rejecter must bring misery without any alleviation, while accepting him. They followed by rest and reproach, left some opening for future hope, and some prospect of better days. To fulfil, therefore, her engagement was a final resolution. Cecilia, Memoirs of an Heiress by Francis Burnie Vol. 8 Chapter 2 An Event Scares less unhappy in her decision than in her uncertainty, and every way dissatisfied with the situation, her views, and herself. Cecilia was still so distressed and uncomfortable, when Delville called the next morning, that he could not discover what a determination had been, and fearfully inquired his doom with hardly any hope of finding favour. But Cecilia was above affectation, and a stranger to out. I would not, sir, she said, keep an incident suspence, when I am no longer in suspense myself. I may have appeared trifling, but I have been nothing less, and you would readily exculpate me of capris, if half the distress of my resolution was known to you.  You hesitate no more? cried he, almost breathless, at the sound of those words. And is it possible—oh, my Cecilia, is it possible your resolution is in my favour? I'll ask, cried she, how little is your reason to rejoice, a dejected and melancholy gift is all you can receive. Here I take it then, cried he, in a voice that spoke joy, pain, and fear all at once in commotion. Tell me, if your reluctance has its origin in me, the die may rather even yet relinquish you, than merely owe your hand to the selfishness of persecution. Your pride, said she, half-smiling, has some right to be alarmed, though I might not to alarm it. No, it is with myself only I am at variance, with my own weakness and want of judgment to die quarrelled. In you I have all the reliance that the highest opinion of your honour and integrity can give me. This was enough for the warm heart of Delville, but only to restore peace, but to awaken rapture. He was almost as wild with delight as he had before been with apprehension, and poured forth his acknowledgments, with so much fervor of gratitude, that Cecilia imperceptibly grew reconciled to herself, and before she missed her dejection, participated in his contentment. She acquitted him as soon as she had power, to acquaint Mrs. Darden with what had passed, and to assist in preparing her to accompany them to the altar, while Delville flew to his new acquaintance, Mr. Singleton, the lawyer, to request him to supply the place of Mr. Moncton in giving her away. All was now hastened with yet most expedition, and to avoid observation, they agreed to meet at the church, their desire of secrecy, however potent, never urging them to wish that the ceremony should be performed in a place less awful. When the chairs, however, came, which were to carry the two ladies' scissor, Cecilia trembled and hung back. The greatness of her undertaking, the hazard of all her future happiness, the disgraceful secrecy of her conduct, the expected reproaches of Mrs. Delville, and the baldness and indelicacy of the steps she was about to take, all so forcibly struck, and so painfully warned at her, that the moment she was summoned to set out, she gained also resolution, and regretting the hour that ever Delville was known to her, she sunk into a chair, and gave up her whole soul to anguish and sorrow. The good Mrs. Darden tried in vain to console her. A sudden horror against herself had now ceased her spirits, which, exhausted by long struggles, could rally no more. In this situation she was at length surprised by Delville, whose uneasy astonishment that she had failed in her appointment was only to be equaled by that with which she was struck at the side of her tears. He demanded the course with the utmost tenderness and apprehension. Cecilia for some time could not speak, and then with the deep sigh. Ah! she cried. Mrs. Delville, how weak are we all when unsupported by her own esteem! How feeble! how inconsistent! how changeable when our courage has any foundation but duty! Delville much relieved by finding her sadness sprung not from any new affliction, gently reproached to breach of promise, and earnestly untreated her to repair it. The clergyman, cried he, is waiting. I have left him with Mr. Singleton in the vestry. No new objections have started, and no new obstacles have intervened. Why, then, torment ourselves with discussing again the old ones, which we have already considered till every possible argument upon them is exhausted! Tranquilize, I conjure you, your regitated spirits, and if the joyous tenderness, the most animated esteem and the gratefulest admiration, can soften your future cares and ensure your future peace. Every anniversary of this day will recompense my Cecilia for every pain she now suffers. Cecilia half soothed, and half ashamed, finding she had in fact nothing new to say or to object, compelled herself to rise, and penetrated by his solicitations, and ever to compose her mind, and promise to follow him. He would not trust her, however, from his side, but, teasing the very instant of her renewed consent, he dismissed the chairs, and, ordering a hackney-coach, preferred any risk to set off her again wavering, and insisted upon accompanying her in it himself. Cecilia had now scarce time to breathe, before she found herself at the porch of blank church. Delville hurried her out of the carriage, and then offered his arm to Mrs. Jarton. Not a word was spoken by any of the party, till they went into the vestry, where Delville ordered Cecilia a glass of water. And having hastily made his compliments to the clergyman, gave her hand to Mrs. Singleton, who let her to the altar. The ceremony was now begun, and Cecilia, finding herself past all power of retracting, soon called her thoughts from wishing it, and turned her whole attention to the awful service, to which, though she listened with reverence, her full satisfaction in the object of her vows made her listen without terror. But when the priest came to that solemn adoration, if any man can shoe any just cause, why they may not lawfully be joined together, a conscious tear stole in to her eye, and a sigh escaped from Delville that went to her heart. But when the priest concluded the excitation with, let him now speak, or else hereafter forever hold his peace, a female voice at some distance called out in shrill accents, I do! The ceremony was instantly stopped. The astonished priest immediately shut up the book to regard in the intended bride and bridegroom. Delville started with amazement to see when the sound proceeded, and Cecilia, aghast and struck with horror, faintly shrieked, and caught hold of Mrs. Charlton. The consternation was general, and general was the silence, though all of one accord turned round towards the place when the voice issued. A female former at the same moment was seen rushing from a pew, who glided out of the church with a quickness of lightning. Not a word was yet uttered. Everyone seeming rooted to the spot on which he stood, and regarding a mute wonder the place of this former had crossed. Delville at length has claimed. What can this mean? Did you not know the woman, sir? said a clergyman. No, sir. I did not even see her. Nor you, madam? said he, addressing Cecilia. No, sir! she answered in a voice that scarce articulated the two syllables, and changing colours so frequently that Delville apprehensive she would feint, flew to her, calling out, let me support you. She turned from him hastily, and still, hoarding by Mrs. Charlton, moved away from the altar. Wither, cried Delville, fearfully following her. Wither, how are you going? She made not any answer. But still, though tottering as much from emotion as Mrs. Charlton from infirmity, she walked on. Why did you stop the ceremony, sir? cried Delville, impatiently speaking to the clergyman. No ceremony, sir, he returned, could proceed with such an interruption. It has been wholly accidental, cried he, for neither of us knows a woman who could not have any right or authority for the prohibition. Then yet more recklessly pursuing Cecilia. Why, he continued, do you thus move off? Why leave the ceremony unfinished? Mrs. Charlton, what is it you are all about? Cecilia, you beseecher, return, and let the service go on. Cecilia, making emotion with a hand to forbid his following her, still silently proceeded, there drawing along with equal difficulty Mrs. Charlton and herself. This is insupportable, cried Delville with vehemence. Turn, I come to you! My Cecilia, my wife! Why is it you thus abandon me? Turn, I implore you, and receive my eternal vows. Mrs. Charlton, bring her back! Cecilia, you must not go! He now attempted to take her hand, but shrinking from his touch, in an emphatic but low voice, she said, Yes, sir, I must, an interdiction such as this, for the world, could I not brave it? She then made an effort to somewhat quicken her pace. Where, cried Delville half frantic, where is this infamous woman, this wretch who has this wantonly destroyed me? And he rushed out of the church in pursuit of her. The clergyman and Mrs. Charlton, who had hitherto been wandering spectators, came now to offer their assistance to Cecilia. She declined any help for herself, but gladly accepted their services, for Mrs. Charlton, who, thunderstruck by all that had passed, seemed almost robbed of her faculties. Mr. Singleton proposed calling a hacky-coach. She consented, and they stopped for it at the church porch. The clergyman now began to inquire of the pew-opener, what she knew of the woman, who she was, and how she had gotten to the church. She knew of her, she answered nothing, but that she had come into early prayers, and she suppose she had hit herself in a pew when they were over, as she had thought the church entirely empty. An hacky-coach now drew up, and while the gentlemen were assisting Mrs. Charlton into it, the will returned. I have pursued and inquired, gritty, in vain. I can neither discover nor hear of her. But what is all this? Where are you going? What does this coach do here? Mrs. Charlton, why do you get into it? Cecilia, what are you doing? Cecilia turned away from him in silence. The shocks she had received took from her all power of speech, while amazement and terror deprived her even of relief from tears. She believed Delville to blame that she knew not in what, but the obscurity of her fears served only to render them more dreadful. She was now getting into the coach herself, but Delville, who could neither brook her displeasure nor endure her departure, forcibly caught her hand and called out, You are mine! You are my wife!  I will follow and claim you. Stop me not, gritty, patiently so faintly. I am sick. I am ill already. If you detain me any longer, I shall be unable to support myself. I have then rest on me, gritty, still holding her. Rest but among me till the ceremony is over.  Crowd now began to gather, and the words of Bride and Bridegroom reached the ears of Cecilia, who half dredged with shame, with fear, and with distress hastily said, You are determined to make me miserable, and snatching away her hand, which Delville, out of those words, could no longer hold. She threw herself into his carriage. Delville, however, jumped in after her, and with an air of authority, ordered the coachman to palmar, and then drew up the glasses with the look of fierceness at the mob. Cecilia had neither spirit nor power to resist him. He had offended by his violence, and shocked to be thus publicly pursued by him. Her look spoke a resentment far more mortifying than any verbal reproach. Inhuman Cecilia cried he passionately, to desert me at the very altar, or to cast me off at the instant the most sacred rites were uniting us, and then thus to look at me, to dred me with this disdain at a time of such distraction, to scorn me this injuously at the moment you unjustly abandoned me. To how dreadful a scene! said Cecilia, recovering from her consternation. Have you exposed me?  O heaven! cried he with horror! If any crime, any offence of mine has occasioned this fatal blow, the whole world holds not a wretched so culpable as myself, nor one who will soon allow the justice of your rigor. My veneration for you has ever equaled my affection. And could I think? It was through me who have suffered any indignity. I should soon abhor myself, as you seem to abhor me. But what is it I have done? How have I thus incensed you? By what action, by what guilt have I incurred this displeasure? Whence, cried she, keep that voice of which it still vibrates in my ear? The prohibition could not be on my account, since none to whom I am known have either right or interest in even wishing it. What an inferences of this! Over me, then, do you conclude this woman had any power? Here they stopped at the lodgings. Delville handed both the ladies out. Cecilia, eager to avoid his importunities and dreadfully disturbed, hastily passed him and ran upstairs, but Mrs. Darden refused not his arm, on which he lent till they reached the drawing-room. Cecilia then rang the bell for her servant, and gave orders that both chairs might be sent for him immediately. Delville now fell defendant in his turn, but suppressing his vehemence, he gravely and quietly said, Determined as you are to leave me, indifferent to my peace and incredulous of my word, dain at least, before you part to be more explicit in your accusation, and tell me if indeed it is possible you can suspect that the wretch who broke off the ceremony had ever from me received provocation for such an action. I know not what to suspect, said Cecilia, where everything is thus evolved in obscurity, but I must own I should have some difficulty to think those words the effect of chance or to credit that their speaker was concealed with our design. You are right, then, madam, cried here resentfully, to discard me, to treat me with contempt, to banish me without repugnance, since I see you believe me capable of duplicity, and imagine I am better informed in this affair than I appear to be. You have said I shall make you miserable. No, madam.  On whatever they depend, said Cecilia, I am too little at ease for discussion. I would no more be daring than superstitious, but none of our proceedings have prospered, and since that their privacy has always been contrary both to my judgment and my principles, I know not how to repine at a failure I cannot think unmerited. Mrs. Charles, and our shares is coming. You will be ready, I hope, to set off in it directly. Delville too angry to trust himself to speak, now walked about the room, and endeavoured to calm himself. But so little was his success, that though silent till the shares was announced, when he heard that dreaded sound and saw Cecilia steady in her purpose of departing, he was so much shocked and afflicted, that clasping his hands in a transport of passionate grief he exclaimed, This, then, Cecilia, is your faith. This is a felicity you bid me hope. This is a recompense of my sufferings and the performing of your engagement. Cecilia stuck by these reproaches, turned back, but while she hesitated how to answer them, he went on. You are insensible to my misery, and impenetrable to my entreaties. The secret enemy has had power to make me own you's in your side, so for her enmity I can assign no cause, though even her existence was this morning unknown to me. Ever ready to abandon, and most willing to condemn me, you have more confidence in a fake conjecture than in all you have observed of the whole tenet of my character. Without knowing why you are disposed to believe me criminal, without deigning to say wherefore, you are eager to banish me your presence. Yet scarce could a consciousness of guilt itself wound me so forcibly, so keenly, as you're suspecting I am guilty. Again, then, cried Cecilia, shall I subject myself to a scene of such disgrace and horror? No, never! The punishment of my error shall at least secure its reformation, yet if I merit your reproaches, I deserve not your regard. Cease, therefore, to profess any for me, or make them no more. Show but of them, cried he, the smallest accessibility, show but for me the most distant concern, and I will try to bear my disappointment without murmuring, and submit to your decrees as to those from which there is no appeal, but to wound without deigning even to look at what you destroy, to shoot at random those arrows, that are pointed with poison, to see them fasten on the heart, and corrode its vital functions, yet look on without compunction, or turn away with cold disdain. O, where is the candour I thought lodged in Cecilia? Where, the justice, the equity, I believed a part of herself? After all that has passed, said Cecilia sensibly touched by his distress, I expected not these complaints, nor that from me any assurance would be wanted, yet if it will quiet your mind, if it will better reconcile you to our separation. O, fatal prelude, endreptity, what an earth can quiet my mind if that leads to our separation! Give to me no condescension with any such view. Reserve your indifference. Persevere in your coldness. Drive still in your power of inspiring those feelings you can never return. All everything is more supportable than to talk of our separation. Yet how, grouchy, parded, torn asunder as we have been, how is it now to be avoided? Trust in my honour. Show me but the confidence which I will venture to say I deserve, and then will that union no longer be impeded, which in future I am certain will never be repented. Could have and what a request! Faith is so implicit would be frenzy. You doubt, then, my integrity. You suspect? Indeed I do not. Yet in a case of such importance, what ought to guide me but my own reason, my unconscious, my own sense of right? Pain me not, therefore, with the reproaches.  And now it you.  Be patient, I beseech you, and attempt not to follow me. This is a step I cannot permit. Not follow you? And who has power to prevent me? I have so. If to incur my endless resentment is of any consequence to you. She, then, with a nerve of determined steadiness, moved on. Mrs. Charlton, assisted by the servants, being already upon the stairs. Oh, tyranny, cry-ty! What submission is it you exact? May I not even inquire into the dreadful mystery of this morning? Yes, certainly. And may I not acquaint you with it, should it be discovered? I shall not be sorry to hear it. It you. She was now half-way down the stairs. When losing all forbearance, he hastily flew after her, and endeavouring to stop her called out.  My beloved Cecilia, speak to me at least one word of less severity. Look at me once more, and tell me we part not forever. Cecilia, then, turned round, and while a starting tear shooed her sympathetic distress, said, Why will you thus oppress me with some dread as I ought not to gratify? Have I not accompanied you to the altar, and can you doubt what I have thought of you? Have thought? Oh, Cecilia, is it then all over? Pray suffer me to go quietly, and fear not I shall go too happily. Suppress your own feelings, rather than seek to awaken mine. Alas, there is little occasion. Omicidal will wear a connection opposed by no duty, and repugnant to no friends, where it is tendered by no impropriety, and carried on with no necessity of disguise. You would not thus charge me with indifference. You would not suspect me of insensibility? Oh, no! The joys of my heart would then be its glory, and all I now blushed to feel I should openly, of its pride, acknowledge. She then hurried to the shares, till Phil pursuing her with thanks and blessings, and gratefully assuring her, as he handed her into it, that he would obey all her injunctions, and not even attempt to see her till he could bring her some intelligence concerning the morning's transaction.


for another chit chat video and girl I was in the middle of doing a review of the umbrush that was I was unimpressed so that video I'm so petty that review is coming but with this chit chat I'm gonna be finger detangling my hair and basically section my hair off yeah I was unimpressed by that umbrush and I know it's been a while for it's been a while around for a while y'all know how we do this I talk about what's going on in my personal life what I'm watching on YouTube and what I'm watching on TV girl a lot baby house of the dragons we're gonna get into this so y'all what's going on in my personal life my husband has been home for eight days he's gonna be back I mean sorry he's gonna be here for another few days and we've been enjoying him why he's here right so we went out to eat um last no Saturday we're gonna go out to eat again on Saturday next Saturday and so just to spend some quality time with each other um and so yeah we've really been enjoying him yeah I told y'all he saw my hair blown out and he would not stop looking at me first of all everybody's losing weight everybody's losing weight but my fluffy ass JB's down seven pounds my husband's down 15 pounds and he was already like but now he's lean going on and so my husband's like well maybe if you you know eat some you know salads and eat more eggs and work out maybe that's dumb as hell he's right though but we'll get to it point being everybody's losing weight everybody looks good and shit I look good but I'm still chubby and it is what it is um and like I said child he came home with abs like you're 50 years old with abs y'all know how I am with older men you're 50 years old with abs inside abs and I told him when he was in here getting ready I said you're disrespectful this is disrespectful he started laughing I said no it ain't even funny you're disrespectful coming up here with abs girl y'all pray for me I'm out of pocket so yeah enjoying it but speaking of I have been working out I've been working out almost every day you guys even if it's 15 to 20 minutes I've been walking on an incline on the treadmill I'm giving myself some time so I ordered me some headphones so I could start walking outside I like to walk outside you get a little air yes so that's it y'all ain't nothing that's going on JB had a mental day today what I mean about that is that let me say that what I mean by that he's not it's nothing that's going on but I have always told JB I don't know this is just us of course he has days where he's sick and he stays home but for every school year I remind him baby I'm going to give you three mental three mental days that means that if you're just exhausted if you just feel like you can't you need a time off I do that with my child I said I'll give you a day off and I go a step above a step forward to me and I'll actually go get his school work because he goes to a private school we're able to do that and so I'll go collect his school work and so that way he doesn't get behind so he has his school work here and it's a mental day and I told him I said unfortunately you've used all your mental days and he's like I have I say you have you've used all your mental days I'm so sorry and it is what it is and so when he woke up this morning it was a lot I mean he was tired he was yawning it was a lot to get him out I mean it was about 30 minutes of him yawning and I was like you want to have a meal today he's like I need to know today I have to understand you know just because kids are not working you know they don't have jobs and you know responsibilities as adults it doesn't necessarily mean that they're not exhausted mentally they just need some time to themselves and sometimes he just wants some time to himself like right now I know he's in his room he's so cute he's looking at some of his old books I caught him in there looking at stuff he was drawing like five years ago and the thing I like about JB even though he's 11 years old and there are some 11 year old children that are very very like grown my child is so innocent still and we have done that we have kept him in that child like bubble but I know that soon we're going to have to not necessarily expose him but let him know about some real life you know world stuff and there's some things that he do know but there's a lot of things he has no idea about like I told y'all he just figured out who Nicki Minaj was just a couple of years ago so anyway nothing that y'all YouTube baby all I've been hearing on YouTube is about Monique let me say this and this is all I'm going to say about Monique I have no issues with Monique let me get some of this one first off my husband was like have you seen the Monique uh interview with with Shannon I said no why don't you tell me about since y'all has clearly have seen it two hours long baby and Shannon his team they are milking it because they're breaking up the interview my personal opinion is let me say this I have not seen the interview I tried to get into it after 30 minutes y'all I couldn't I think that there is a lot that Monique says that it's that is true it's her truth but I also feel like she's a type of person that says certain things to fit her agenda wherever that means again there's some truth in what she says and you can't deny her truth because she lives it but I also feel like Monique lacks in a lot of ways she she lacks accountability um she's also nice nasty which could be cute sometimes but she does these backhanded compliments like she'll say oh and she gets away with by saying sweet baby oh hey hey sweet baby I love you and then say you should wear a girdle you know what I mean like hey precious you you so cute but um did you gain weight just very very and she's not passive aggressive like to me I don't view her as a passive aggressive individual but it's that nice nasty type of I'm a pray for you but I love you and that that's what I can't get behind so again she's speaking her truth all I'm saying is that I didn't watch it and I'm not going to watch it but everyone's apparently talking about it um now I agree with her that look anything behind Oprah is trash when you get to that level that Oprah is you really don't give a damn let's just be honest she doesn't she doesn't care what anyone thinks about she's Oprah Winfrey she has a billion dollar industry she's the 1% you think they care about that she's friends with freaking Harvey you think she really cares you think you would think they will but she doesn't care the people I am worried about that are going through it it's like Taraji who they've been shown you know sharing these clips of her which I really I really wish they wouldn't do that so she needs to really she needs someone to really cover her y'all I just but yeah not really paying attention to it I keep seeing it I'm not looking into it um what else is going on YouTube child I saw real quick that somebody apparently went to Joel Osteen's church shot up the church show and they took her out like baby you ain't gonna be able to do anything in Texas are you serious they loaded first of all Texas is y'all I'm a true crime fanatic Texas Texas baby blaming on the alcohol Texas is the reason why we got the concealed weapon and it was Texas is the reason why we got the concealed weapon pushed and it was due to that um that massive that mass shooting at Lubies yeah I don't even I can't remember if that was Fort Worth but it was here in Texas and it's a backstory um a victim so sad her parents were there and the woman who actually helped to get that law passed her parents were killed so they were all three there in the Lubies and the Lubies I think there was like close to 20 people were murdered in that poor Lubies so sad and so I just remember when they were interviewing her and her father was shot and she was trying to tell her mom let's go we gotta go you know before he guns back and her mom was like I can't leave him oh my god so she stayed and the gunman came around and shot her so I guess my point is that Texas is so big on guns you ain't gonna be able to get away with mass shooting to that which is why I'm so amazed that not necessarily amazed I'm shocked that all those kids were killed like that in Texas a couple of years ago because typically so many people have guns just everywhere um that's a school though so that's a little bit different so anyway y'all another youtube what I'm watching on tv let me tell you something for the past week Game of Thrones had me in such a choke haul I was watching it while I was asleep watching watching it while I was working when people were getting on my nerves at work I would call them peasants I mean my one manager he was talking to me he was like I said look I'm watching I'm I'm binge watching Game of Thrones and he was like oh let me talk like he started talking I said my grace because I ain't calling nobody my lord because I got one lord in heaven so I had to respond back with my grace because um no we ain't gonna do that so anyway y'all Game of Thrones but why my ass didn't realize that Jamie and his wretched ass sisters were twins so y'all Game of Thrones I'm gonna try not to give a lot of spoilers spoiler alert Game of Thrones baby this is flowers in the attic meets lord of the rings let me tell you so this teacher just emailed everyone so anyway y'all um I loved it I enjoyed it and I binge watched all of it now I had started Game of Thrones years ago so I started at season three and I know at the time that a lot of people were a bit upset about the season finale and I'm so glad that I was able to catch with all the noise you know what I mean I had no problem with the season finale I actually liked it um but there are just so many scenes and everything and this is the thing now that I'm watching I'm starting to notice people out in real life they look like the characters I've been watching so when I was at the dollar general a couple of weeks ago there was a guy there restocking he had red hair a beard crazy um facial expression so you already know what he looks like right so I go up to him I say I'm so sorry but I'm currently watching Lord of the Rings no Game of Thrones I'm sorry and I say you look just like that red head wildling and he started laughing he said I get it all the time I said oh my god then I was at Panera bread the young boy at the front who got my order I said I'm so sorry I'm currently binge watching look I have to let you know this because you're gonna be like why the hell you what took you so long I'm currently binge watching Game of Thrones you know you look like he starts laughing he starts smiling already I he's like who I say you like thing on aka a reek baby he that took with him he started laughing so hard he said I haven't heard that before I say yeah you you you look like thing on so yeah I really enjoyed it there's so many classic scenes from it but let me tell you something you can't be eating looking at this movie when uh series excuse me when that freaking red witch took off that necklace and she was looking at her she was like and then she's scooting over to the bed and getting under bed like a classic oh I'm like you don't sit your ass down and put that choco back on child and I did see the scene where she finally decided to take it off forever and go out in the dust I'm like serve your ass right she was evil but she was not bad as the one who was torturing Theon when I tell you I could not stand his ass I could not y'all he's he was my most hated like but then there were some people who died and I was like what do you do that for like the unique you know the one that didn't have no dealing like why they kill him I was like yeah Lee so I'm now I'm on the house of dragon at first it was slow um I'm on episode three but I'm feeling it I'm gonna try not to get a lot of spoiler give a lot of spoilers but girl they got a black black people in there I just don't understand why do the what do you call them the valerian why do they have white hair why but what's so crazy is that you know I'm on episode three and the king is telling his daughter about the secret that shouldn't be you know communicated basically shouldn't be shared there basically there's this um prophecy of this ending of mankind which is going to come with the coldness and we know winter is coming child when my sister told me that y'all the reason why I started watching name of thrones like I'm shared on my community page last month when we had that winter storm I was telling my sister we're gonna come visit y'all she's a girl you can't come up here it's gonna be a snow storm winter it's coming the white walkers I like white walkers my sister silly like me y'all anyway um the father tells you know his daughter this prophecy that the end of mankind is so there has to be an air there has to be somewhere there because they are pivotal they are very important when it comes to saving mankind we know that in the game of thrones maybe they have the actual what do you call it the seat with all the swarps and stuff they show there but there's a lot more there which i'm assuming is because house of the dragon is approximately about 150 plus years before the game of thrones right let me tell you something I can already tell who's crazy when the brother came in her uncle damon first of all his name is damon right you know we already know he's got 666 someone and then all that blonde hair or white hair his name is damon he's looking like an elf and king he's just he's just petty and evil for no reason he wants to get two wives spoiler he's trying to get two wives and I was laughing my ass off because when they weren't meeting about it and they were like who's the second wife and someone shot it the whore I'm like yeah Lee wow so damon got upset because the king did not declare him heir to the throne but his daughter because he's been waiting for a son I'm not gonna give a lot but he's been waiting for a son since it didn't happen he went ahead and made the daughter oh damon was upset child damon was like give me that give me that um that dragon egg and let me go back let me go back home is she gonna show up though the daughter showed up I was like oh yes I'm here for this so yeah I'm really gonna join it like I said at first it was kind of slow but I'm enjoying it another show I'm watching that is so good it's true detective let me tell you something true detective is it's a crime show but it has a supernatural feel and it starts from season one season one definitely has a supernatural feel the the ending towards it is really creepy I'm not gonna give any but it starts season one starts Matthew McConaughey y'all know me I have a hate love relationship with Matthew McConaughey I know people that went to school with Matthew McConaughey and I just feels like he plays up that accent but he does what he wants to do anyway Matthew McConaughey and the other one he's also from Woody Harrison he's also from Texas too um very good we're on season four with Jody Foster so y'all y'all don't think I'm funny so I was watching Jody Foster and I just noticed something like y'all like she's little every scene she looked like she's like two feet under people I'm thinking she has to be like four eleven four twelve she is so tiny why do I look up and she it says she's five three and I'm like do I appear that small to other because she looks like a damn midget on screen you know what the screen get makes you appear ten inches smaller like it gives you 20 pounds more that's yeah that's what it is so so good it has this other sister on there she plays I have Native Half Black I think in real life she she's Dominican or something so good you guys and the supernatural field starts off right away with the season season four I have HBO Max but on YouTube and it's very cheap it's less than $10 actually it's less than $8 I think you can get it for like $6.29 a month get it girl it's on HBO Max through YouTube true detective season four I am here for it I'm also watching um House of Dragon through HBO Max so y'all I'm getting a little lit I'm gonna fix JB his biscuits look y'all look this baby is eating like I'm gonna go in here and fix him biscuits he wants one pancake and eggs but you're still you're still losing weight if I eat that I'm gonna gain 20 pounds it is what it is all you guys thank you so much for watching take care bye