Remember, a hallmark card when you carry enough to send the very best. Cards bring you an unusual true story on the Hallmark Hall of Fame. Welcome to the Hallmark Hall of Fame, where we tell you true stories about real people. Tonight we salute one of the most beloved men of this century, Lake Tom Mix. He's been called the greatest cowboy who ever lived. He was among his friends and was the outstanding man of our time. One of them was a man you hear called the King of Hollywood. And indeed, his name, Clark Gable. We are proud to have him join us tonight. This is Clark Gable. Tom Mix was one of the most honored motion picture stars in our entire history. He was a man of tremendous personal stature, who gave high inspiration to the millions who saw him perform, and to those who were privileged to know him. Tom was a matchless friend. I'm glad to say he was mine. Oh, thank you, Clark Gable. I knew Tom Mix, too. And so did the greatest cowboys of today, like Gene Oakley, and Roy Rogers, William Boyd, and Will Rogers, Jr. We'll hear from them all later in the broadcast. But now, here's Frank Goss. 365 days a year, hearts are lightened by hallmark cards. Happy days are made happier, lonely days become no longer lonely. And every day is a brighter day when the mail brings a hallmark card. For hallmark cards are more than just a message of cheer or sympathy or love. They are the right message, thoughtfully expressed in the right design, the right words, and that hallmark on the back shows that you cared enough to send the very best. Lionel Barrymore appears by arrangement with Metro Golden Mayor, producers of the new color picture Nights of the Round Table in CinemaScope, starring Robert Taylor, Ava Gardner, and Mel Ferrer. And now, Mr. Barrymore brings you, with portions transcribed, tonight's exciting story on the hallmark hall of fame. This was often cast as a sheriff of Marshall fighting for law and order in the Old West. Well, role fitted him well. For in the early 1900s, Tom Nex actually served as a United States Deputy Marshall in the Southwest. Although he later was to make 370 motion pictures, no film story ever written for him was more exciting or courageous than the one he lived himself, when he was a United States Marshall. And that is a true story, we'll tell you tonight. It began around a campfire in the North-Eastern Oklahoma Territory. What's the matter, old partner? Getting a little cold for you? No, it'll be coming pretty soon. Then we can give up this range riding for the winter. Sooner than anybody expects, I reckon, for tonight. We should travel quiet. We understand you've been selling some cows, Beckett. You took 30 cows over to Vanity yesterday. You sold them, didn't you? Get a Beckett. They gave you $280 for that beef. We want it. You do, huh? He's covered, Cass. Over, Beckett. Shorty. Get the money, Beckett. All right. Don't have much choice, do I? If you could tell me where I can find the sheriff's office around here. Hey, Bert Schuster. Glad to meet you, Deputy. I'm Tom Mix. United States Deputy Marshal. Oh, yeah. They're Shant's brothers, huh? Yeah. I knew it was a little help. You've got to be stopped. Yeah, we'll be stopped. Have a chair, Marshal. Thank you. I wasn't sure about that as you are. We've scoured this whole area. Can't find a trace of them. And this cold weather hasn't helped much either. My men don't like riding a horse when the weather gets below zero. Can I doubt if the Shant's brothers like riding in this weather either? You're new on this. There's something special about these two birds. They sure know how to get out of sight and stay out of sight. I've been trying to think where they'd go. North, south, east, west, any direction. Yeah. Well, my personal opinion is we aren't going to get them around here. I think they made it to Mexico. I thought those mountains were... I wanted to make it hard for anybody to get me. That's right, girl. One of them sudden blizzards come up. But I think you're wrong about the Shant's brothers wanting to hide up there. Just the same. I'd like to go up and have a look around. I'll get an hour. I'll fire to the crest. Oh, maybe not a mile. I'll tear it from here. But no matter if that overhang, it flattens off and shoots right on up to the top. And no horse can travel that. I haven't seen anything like a trail so far. Any use in going all the way? No. I haven't been able to feel them for two hours. For any other part of me, either. Never get cold? Somebody's going ahead of us not too long ago. There's no rust. Now let's keep going. Since I've been up here. It's a cast shot. Not all hold it. Hold it. Let's go, Max. It's a cast shot. It's a cinch. His brother Shorty's inside the shack. We came up here to get him. I want to bring him in alive, Sheriff. Alive or dead, it doesn't make any difference to me.  I'm just a local deputy and those two buzzards killed a man in my jurisdiction. I want him anywhere. That's a $500 reward. There's that, but there's more. There's half a dozen murders I want to talk to them about. Now us walking across that flat right now to pick them up isn't going to start anything but a lot of gunfire. You know that. I'm willing to trade with them. And I want them alive.  Get as many, many as you can get. Bring them up here. I doubt if the Shant's brothers would start anything if they see their art numbered. Gonna just sit here and wait for us? As long as I can. Huh? I figure I can last all about sunrise without a fire. But if you aren't back by then, I'll have to go in that shack and get warm. I'll get back as fast as I can. Good luck, Max. Yep. We're into the second act of the Hallmark Hall of Fame. Haven't you often envied the type person who will never forgets a date, the kind who not only remembers birthdays, but remembers all the special days in each friend's life. He'll probably wish that you could be as thoughtful and as loved for your thoughtfulness. Well, let me tell you a secret. There is one easy sure way that you can remember all the occasions you want to remember. Get a Hallmark Date Book. Actually, this little memory minder is more than a date book. It's a calendar booklet with space for your notes on every day of the year. It includes a listing of the gifts for each wedding anniversary and the birthstones and flowers for every month. There's a section for your Christmas card list, too. That means you have your friends' addresses with you whenever you need them.  Now, this handy attractive book is a gift to you from the fine store where you buy Hallmark cards. Make it a point tomorrow to pick up your Hallmark Date Book for 1954. And now, Lionel Barrymore brings you the second act of our true story of Tom Mix. In Cuba, with his close friend, Teddy Roosevelt, he was an inspiring and determined man, a brave man who believed in justice. But he also knew the meaning of Tom Mix, never knew its meaning more intimately than when he was the United States Deputy Marshal on the trail of the Chance Brothers. I remember the way Tom told it to me years later. Right after dark, one of those sudden storms come up. Temperature dropped way below zero. It snowed all during the night and when the first morning light appeared, I knew that Sheriff Schuster had been lost or he was dead or he was caught in the same blizzard and couldn't get down from the passes. I had to make a move or freeze to death. I began to ease down toward the cabin. Off to one side was a small corral in the shed. Jazz and shorty shots were no good, but they took care of their horses and sooner or later one of them would be coming out to see how the horses had fared the night. That would be my chance to get them apart from each other. My one chance. The posse gets here, we're leaving. Let me tell you something, Mix. They ain't gonna get here. I think we chose this place to hold up. First snowstorm of the year blocks the pass down below. It appears to me like it's going to snow a week. Yeah, you're stuck here, Mix. For the winter. By nightfall he was sitting up in bed cussing me. In shorty two I fixed him a splint and he lay back on the other bunk with his leg stuck out and watched me cook chow. And outside the shack in the gathering darkness, the snow fell steadily deeper and deeper. Look at him, Cass. Ain't he dainty? Hey, Marshal, be sure you put enough pepper in them beans. I don't like them less now. Ah, don't you worry, Cass. Oh, Marshal Tom Mix is supposed to do most anything better than next. Didn't you know he was the national rodeo champion? Why, sure. All them stories they tell about him bringing in the outlaws. The way he treats us, I bet they were just begging to be captured. Oh, he's the daisy the Marshal is. One thing bothers me, though, brother. Well, tell the Marshal, brother. What bothers you? You want your pillow fluffed up? No. What bothers me is this. He can play nurse maid all right and he can cook just like a lady and tell her stories about all them bad men he's took in. The real question comes down to one very simple thing. What's that? We can sleep all winter if we want to. But how long you reckon this Marshal can stay awake? Chance Brothers slept in shifts. One of them all was awake watching me, watching him. In spite of their wounds, they were rested men and dangerous men, waiting for the one chance they could to catch me off guard the moment I'd fall asleep. Well, good morning, Marshal. How's the war against crime and lawlessness coming? Morning, Cass. Still awake, Marshal? I'm still awake, Cass. What time is it? Breakfast time, shorty. Smell that cough. Mmm. Hey, Cass. Yeah? This looks to be a nice winter, Cass. My shoulder knits right it will be. Oh, now don't worry about your shoulder. Marshal here got shot out in three, four wars. Knows all about how things get fixed up. They say in China, he got his scalp blowed clean off. Took 66 stitches to put it back on. Wait up. Where you going, Marshal? I want to see how the horses are. Well, why don't you leave your guns here? We'll take good care of them. Pistol or carbine. How we going to work this? Just wait. How long? Couple of days, what would matter? You going to go to sleep sooner or later? When it does, we kill it. Don't want to try it before then, huh? You know how fast and good he can shoot. No. It's easy. All we got to do is just wait. I was all right for the first two days and nights. The second night, the snow stopped falling, and I thought, I got a chance now.  The posse is bound to get through if I can just stay awake. I drank gallons of coffee, but on the third day, it started to get me. I'd sit there in the corner by the stove, and they'd watch me. Sometimes together. Sometimes one of them would sleep while the other lay there. Just lay there, looking at me. I'd pass without a move in that little room.  Getting sleepy, Marshal? I'll buy another cup of coffee, Marshal.  It's nice sleeping, Marshal. It's all right.  You just let go and close your eyes, and everything goes spinning away. Okay, Shorty. Kill him. This rifle is... Drag yourself back into bed, Shorty. Sure. Sure, but it won't be long, Marshal. You can't last forever. Not without sleep. You wouldn't shoot me like this.   Sure, I can't last forever. Sure, I need help.  So help me.  I need to get sleep. Just five minutes. One minute. I was starting to hear things.  Then I knew what it was. When I was just so tired to get out of the chair, I pointed the carbine at the ceiling and pulled the trigger. Look at him, Shorty. Got himself a new trick for keeping awake. Yeah. Yeah. Come on in, shorty. It's all right. Aren't you forgetting something? Forgetting something? What? Came in this morning, and it's all yours. You sure? Yeah, here's a check. They got a mother who doesn't know anything about them. To do for them. I don't think they've ever done anything for her in their lives. She gets this, wouldn't you? In picture industry, sought out this remarkable man, Tom Mix, he quickly became the idol of millions of youngsters and adults, too. And not only an idol, but a very real flesh and blood symbol of justice and mercy. Now, the inevitable triumph of decency over evil wherever it's found. The number of Tom Mix's friends in Hollywood is legion. And tonight, we are pleased and proud to have four of the greatest western stars in motion pictures here with us to join in our tribute to Tom Mix. Hello, friends. This is Gene Archie.  He influenced and inspired my early life and my career, just as his real life and film adventures influenced most of the young people of his time. Well, this is Roy Rogers. The great cow punch and star Tom Mix was and is an inspiration to all of us. His influence for good upon the young people of his time was phenomenal. Tom was a great man, and I'm proud to say my valued friend. This is Bill Boyd. Well, you might know me as Hop along Cassidy. I knew Tom Mix. To me, he was one of the West great men. Tom was a man who dined with presidents and kings. And a man who rode the range with the roughest, toughest cow punches of his time. Tom was one of the greatest cowboys of all. And one of the finest. This is Will Rogers Jr. You know, my father always said that Tom Mix was one of the top cowboys of all time. Dad and Tom were close friends. It was a fine sight to watch Tom Mix and Will Rogers riding together along the bridal paths of Beverly Hills. And now, ladies and gentlemen, Mrs. Tom Mix. Thank you, Mr. Barrymore, for tonight's splendid hallmark presentation of a gallant story from the true life of my husband. I'm grateful too for this opportunity to express my sincere appreciation to Tom's close friends, Clark Gable, Gene Autry, Boy Rogers, William Boyd, and Will Rogers Jr., who have honored Tom here tonight, to the hallmark hall fame, and to all of them, thank you. So drop into the fine store where you buy hallmark cards and let them give you their New Year's gift to you, a hallmark date book for 1954. Now, that's not a pretentious sounding gift, I know, but the truth is that your little hallmark date book can be the means of a much easier, happier, and friendlier New Year for you. You see, it is a booklet of little calendars with enough space at each day for your personal notations. You can write in the birthdays and anniversaries of everyone dear to you. Make notes to remind you of special dates. Never again need you have that sinking feeling, ooh, I forgot, Uncle Harry's birthday, for your hallmark date book is small enough to carry in your purse for constant reference. Two would even suggest appropriate gifts for special days. List the flowers and birthstones for every month, the gift for each wedding anniversary, and your friends' addresses are written conveniently in the front of the book. So you see what I mean when I say you'll find it's easy to be the thoughtful, friendly person you like to be if you have a hallmark date book. And now here again is Lionel Barrymore. You know, that's a very good idea you have, Frank, to let a hallmark date book help us to a friendlier New Year. Because if there's one thing that would be an absolute guarantee of a happy New Year, it's a year when each of us individually tries to be a better friend. Our thanks for the appearance of Clark Gable to MGM, producers of the 3D color musical Kiss Me Kate, starring Catherine Grayson, Howard Keel, and Ann Miller. Remember, you're also invited to the Hallmark Hall of Fame on television every Sunday, starring Miss Sarah Churchill. Until next week then, this is Lionel Barrymore saying good night. Carefully selected to give you expert and friendly service. Remember a hallmark card when you carry enough to send the very best. Our producer director is William Frug. Our script tonight, with portions transcribed, was written by Wilbur James. John Daener was heard as Tom Mix. Also featured in our cast were Vic Perrin, Jack Edwards, Harry Bartell, and Lawrence Dufton. This is Frank Goss saying good night to you until next week at the same time. When we'll present a true story about William Allen White. On January 17th, we'll bring you MacDonald Carey starring in an interesting story about Mark Twain and the following week a true story about Robert Baden Powell on the Hallmark Hall of Fame. This is KMBZ, Kansas City, Missouri.


Okay, another creative glorious weekend with the inevitable blue professor Sam Vaknin. And today we are going to construct together a dictionary, narcissism to English dictionary.  This is not this kind of video. Today what I'm going to do, I'm going to connect some of the most common phrases, stock phrases of the narcissist with the dynamics of the relationship. So I'm going to map the narcissist's utterances, the narcissist's speech acts, the narcissist's words and phrases with what's happening in the relationship with you. Now this is a compilation, there are four parts. The first part is what I've just described. The second part has to do with victims. It is the outcome of monitoring forums and support groups of victims of narcissistic abuse all over the internet for several years. These are just my impressions, they are anecdotal. And the third part is a video about the speech of the narcissist, the hidden structures, the coded messages in the narcissist's speech. The fourth part is a general introduction to how the narcissist uses language in order to abuse and to accomplish other aims. So a very rich, smogged board, a buffet of narcissism, language and speech.  My name is Sam Baknien and I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love Narcissism Revisited. The first book ever about narcissistic abuse. I am also a former visiting professor of psychology and currently on the faculty of CIAPS, Commonwealth for International Advanced Professional Studies. Got it kiddos and kidettes, let us delve right in. First of all, before we start, why is it that you find it so difficult to decipher what the narcissist really means? Why is it that you have no problem with other people? They say things and sometimes you see behind the facade or the cascade of words. Very often you decode other people's states of mind. You understand their hidden motivations, their agendas. You manage yourself well in a variety of environments and settings and circumstances. You don't have any problem reading between the lines. Why do you keep failing with the narcissist? Because of the love bombing phase. In the love bombing phase of the shared fantasy, the narcissist introduces you to his dead inner child, the true self. It's the body of a child, it's the corpse of a child.  And this is heartbreaking. This is heart-rending, especially for women. And the second thing the narcissist does, it puts you in touch with his bad objects.  This assemblage of voices that want him gone, they want to take him down, want him dead. These are enemies, internal enemies. So when he introduces you simultaneously to the dead inner child, the true self, and the bad objects, the voices that conspire against him, it induces in you a maternal reflexive bonding. You bond with the narcissist as a mother, and this is not something you can control. You can't help with it. This is a reflex. It's instinctual, it's animalistic, it's primordial, it's atavistic, it's beyond, way beyond the veneer, the thin veneer of civilization and impulse control and ego and superego forget all this.  You pity him for his crucible, for the predicament of having to endure the bad object inside himself. And so this is a trap. This is a trap, and it blinds you. It blinds you to the narcissist's real state of mind. It blinds you to the narcissist's strategies to the shared fantasy. It blinds you to the narcissist's egregious misconduct and abusive behavior.  You idealize the narcissist.  You love the narcissist, you care for the narcissist.  And so you're not at liberty nor are you capable anymore. You're incapacitated. You're unable to truly listen to what the narcissist is saying. Not the words, the context, not the context, the meta text, the subtext, the hidden text as opposed to the overt text. Now in this channel, there's a video about overt text versus hidden text, and I recommend that you watch it, but the narcissist disables your ability to discern the former and exposes you only to the latter. You develop what is called concrete thinking. It's a form of autistic, it's a form of autistic defense. You pay attention to what the narcissist is saying, not to why is he saying it. You ignore the motivations and attitudes and goals of the narcissist, and instead you take him at his word, and this is known as the base rate fallacy, a variant of the base rate fallacy. Okay, enough with the with the background. What does a narcissist mean when he says the following seven sentences? Number one, I love you. I love you as a very common sentence actually. The narcissist keeps replaying this sentence and repeating it from day one, from date one, from meeting number one. Remember that the narcissist is incapable of positive emotions. He has no access to his own positive emotions because they carry with them a lot of hurt and a lot of shame from early childhood. Love is pain, so the narcissist avoids love. So what does a narcissist mean when he says, I love you and does he truly believe it? The answer is yes. The narcissist does believe that he's in love with you. He mislabels his true emotions, which are essentially a form of dependency. Now remember, love bombing is the first phase in what I call the shared fantasy. The shared fantasy is based on work by Sander in 1989. So the shared fantasy is coupled with a principle that I've discovered, the principle of dual mothership.  Even if the narcissist is the dominant figure, even if he takes over all decision making, even if he serves as your external regulator, he stabilizes your moods, regulates your emotions, it has nothing to do with it.  It's a form of parentifying.  I want you to love me unconditionally. I want you to accept me regardless of my behaviors or misbehaviors.   I want you to tell me what I want to hear about myself. I want you to reflect to myself. I want you to reflect to me my glory, my grandiosity. I want you to be source of secondary supply. I want you to fulfill your roles, the four S's, sex, services, supply and safety. Above all, perhaps safety.  It's a list of needs and a list of expectations and a list of demands. It has nothing to do with love. It's about using you.  The narcissist is instrumentalizing you when he says, I love you. Love in the narcissist's mind is a conditioning mechanism. It's a way to ascertain your constant presence in his life. The next sentence narcissists say a lot is, you have changed. You're not the same and there is a tinge of disappointment in their voice. A hue of disillusionment and disenchantment, you let them down. What does a narcissist mean by that? Well, remember coercive snapshotting. The narcissist, when he first meets you and firstly decides that you could be his intimate partner, he takes a snapshot of you. He creates a representation in his mind of you out there. Narcissists are incapable of discerning and interacting with external objects. They convert all external objects into internal objects and that's what the narcissist does to you. He has converted you into an internal object and this internal object, the snapshot, the introject in clinical terms is photoshopped. He idealizes you and then he expects you to conform to the idealized snapshot. He expects you to never deviate, never diverge, never contradict, never disagree with, and never conflict with the internal object, the avatar that represents you in his mind. He coerces you in multiple ways to conform to this idealized internal object and this is coercive snapshotting. He penalizes you if you dare to display agency and independence and personal autonomy and thereby deviate from the snapshot. And this of course, all this of course leads to devaluation and separation from you which is the aim of the shared fantasy. It's all been about separating from you as a maternal figure, completing the separation individuation of early childhood that had failed with the original biological mother. So when he says you have changed, this is in preparation for the devaluation and separation. This is the first phase in converting you into a persecutory object, an enemy, someone who threatens his internal stability, equilibrium and happiness.  The next sentence that narcissists are fond of repeating is I am. I am something. I'm the most honest person I know. I'm a winner. I am very good at what I do. I am trustworthy. You can trust me. I am.  I am. I am postulates the existence of a self. It is a form of self reporting and yet the narcissist doesn't have a self. He doesn't have an ego. The process of the formation of the ego and the constellation and integration of the self in early childhood up to early adolescence. This process has been disrupted by dead, bad parenting in a very dysfunctional, unhappy family environment or the absence of a family altogether. So this self reporting is false, is fake. It is a desperate attempt by the narcissist to pretend that he or she exists. But narcissists don't exist. Narcissism is about absence, not presence. So when this narcissist says I am, any sentence that starts with I am or I typically am is fallacious. It's misleading. Not intentionally. Again, the narcissist desperately attempts to, first of all, first and foremost, deceive himself. The narcissist's deceptive speech is first and foremost intended to self-regulate, to accomplish self-regulation. It's not about you because you don't exist. Narcissism doesn't care about you. Everything is about him or her. So I am is the kernel and the nucleus of grandiosity. Grandiosity is a misperception of reality. It's what we call a cognitive distortion, coffee break. And so when the narcissist says I am something, it's usually an self-aggrandizing, fantastic, inflating proposition. I am the most honest person I know, for example. So this is the foundation of grandiosity and this is where the narcissist begins to divorce reality, which makes it extremely difficult for you to understand what he's saying, what he's truly saying, because it's not grounded in the world. It's not grounded in the universe as you know it. It's grounded in some phantasmagoria that is unfolding and unfurling in his demented mind. Demented, yes, narcissism is a severe mental illness. The next sentence is they are, you are, talking about other people. So the previous sentence was I am. And the next sentence is you are or they are. This is of course projection. There are parts in the personality of the narcissist, in the disrupted self of the narcissist, in the self-states of the narcissist, their portions, their segments, their figments, their elements, their components, their ingredients that the narcissist cannot tolerate. There are parts of the narcissist that the narcissist, portions that the narcissist rejects because they challenge his self-perception, which is inflated and fantastic because they hamper his functioning. So if the narcissist is weak, he's going to reject his weakness.  If he is abusive, he's going to reject this knowledge that he's abusive and cruel and mean and sadistic. If he, if his self-image is a good person, he's going to reject these parts of himself. If he misbehaved, he's going to reframe it, he's going to reject his misbehavior. What does he do with all this trash?  What does he do with the parts of himself, the organs, the psychological organs that he cannot tolerate, that challenge him, that undermine him, that humiliate him, that shame him? What does he do with all these internal parts of himself, character traits, behaviors, predilections, proclivities, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, frailties, shortcomings, limitations, failures. What does he do with all this? It's unbearable. He takes these things and he throws them at you. He projects them onto you, he attributes them to you. He's not weak, you're weak. He's not being abusive, you're being abusive. So this is known as projection. When the narcissist starts a sentence with I am, this is grandiosity. When the narcissist starts a sentence with they are or you are, this is projection. The next sentence somewhat tangentially associated with this previous tool is this is wrong. The narcissist has a set of rules, rigid rules that he had come up with. He is a law unto himself, exactly like the psychopath, exactly like the psychopath. The narcissist is contumacious and defined, he rejects authority. He collaborates with teams, he is pro-social, is much less criminalized than the psychopath, but this is because he is a junkie, he's a drug addict, he needs to obtain and to secure a narcissistic supply from the environment, something the psychopath doesn't have to do. But exactly like the psychopath, he holds people in utter, unmitigated contempt and disdain and so he has these huge tables of what is appropriate and what is inappropriate what is right, what is wrong, how people should behave and how they should not behave, how should he behave and how he should not behave, etc. Everything is rigidly dictated and so when he says this is wrong, he means to say this doesn't sit well or comply with my expectations, with the rules I have promulgated, with the environment I have engendered, when he says they are wrong or this is wrong, it means they are useless, they are inefficacious, they are oppositional, they are stupid, they are obstructive, they are passive-aggressive. So wrong, when the narcissist says this is wrong, don't get it wrong, it's not about accepted morality, it's not about common, typical, ethical standards, it's not a form of self-recrimination, self-flagellation, remorse and regret, no it's not, it's like saying it's not going my way, this is wrong means in narcissism speak, it's not going my way, this is right, wow this is the way I want it to be, so this is very psychopathic in effect, it's a bit of anti-social type of speech. The next very common phrase or phrases that narcissists use in daily discourse, daily intercourse, intercourse by the way is conversation, get your minds off the gutter. So a typical sentence is I don't remember having done that, I don't remember having said that, it doesn't sound like me at all, you must be wrong, the truth is this. So when the narcissist says this, when the narcissist insists that he hasn't done something, hasn't said something, that there's no way he could have done or said these things because they don't sit well with who he is, with his self-perception or self-image. It's not typical, I would have never said that, I would have never done that, I never lie, I never steal, I never plagiarize, I never do these things, I never sleep with other people's girlfriends or wives, I never do these things, it's not like me, I'm a good person, I'm an angel, I'm a victim, I don't remember having done or said this and the truth is not this, this is the truth, this is because the narcissist dissociates and then he has memory gaps, he forgets things that he has said, he forgets things that he has done and to bridge over these memory gaps, he creates narratives, stories, fables and this is why it's known as confabulation, the narcissist bridges over the memory gaps by inventing stories or confabulations which are reasonable, make sense, plausible, probable or likely. He says, I don't remember having done that but probably I have done this, I don't remember having said that, you misunderstood me, I must have said this, this doesn't sound like me at all, I think you're mistaken but I may have done this, the truth is this, you're getting it wrong, the truth is this, these are all forms of compensatory confabulation trying to overcome constant amnesia, endless amnesia, an amnesia that wipes out something like 80 to 90% of the narcissist's life. When the narcissist is confronted with hard evidence of misdeeds, misbehavior, misconduct, hard evidence, receipts, recordings, you know, things you can't deny, the narcissist would reframe them, he would create a meta narrative, a hyper story in which he will incorporate the hard evidence in a way that is self-vindicating, self-validating, self-justifying and supportive of the narcissist's grandiose, inflated and fantastic self-perception. Finally, another very common sentence is, if you refuse to do this, it means that you don't love me, it means that you're not my partner, it means that we are not in this together, it means that you want to abandon me, it means that you're betraying me, it means if you refuse to do this, it means this is a form of course of verbal abuse and an integral part of intermittent reinforcement, a control mechanism which conditions the victim, an intimate partner in this case or could be a friend, could be a business partner, could be a family member, everything I'm saying applies to all types of interpersonal relationships that the narcissist has. So it's a form of conditioning you to not refuse because it's verbal abuse, it's penalizing, it's punitive, so you want to avoid it, it creates in you the incentive to avoid this outcome and so you comply, you become obedient, you become submissive, you begin to develop dissociation yourself. Narcissism is contagious as I keep saying. The narcissist uses, leverages his disappointment and disenchantment and disillusionment with you as a weapon, he weaponizes them, he causes you to want to please him, to want to conform, you want peace, you want to avoid conflict, he renders you conflict a verse and this sentence is one of the main instruments. Now, I spent the past two decades, actually, historically I'm the one who opened, the first opened, owned and moderated, the first, six support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse. I was the first to describe narcissistic abuse in the 90s and then I opened six support groups for victims of narcissistic abuse with well over 250,000 people as members and I'm talking about the very beginning of the internet. Ever since then I've been monitoring the gradual degeneration and deterioration in the ethics, ethos narratives in forums and support groups of victims of narcissistic abuse. Now, let it be clear, I've worked with hundreds of victims of narcissistic abuse as clients, I've been exposed to thousands in seminars and lectures and comment sections and so on and what I'm about to say in the next clip does not apply to all victims of narcissistic abuse. Of course, most victims of narcissistic abuse just want to move on, they want to heal, they want to understand what has happened to them but it doesn't become an obsession or a rumination, it's just a phase. I'm talking about the hardcore group of self-declared, self-described victims of narcissistic abuse who are online in forums that are steeped in vicious sniping, lack of empathy, sadism, cruelty, vindictiveness that lead me to believe that these so-called victims and especially the so-called empaths communities are actually covert narcissists, they are professional victims. What's happening there is competitive victimhood, it's a language, victimhood is a language, it's a form of signaling, deceptive signaling very often, it's a form of signaling that is intended to elicit from other people, concessions, benefits, special treatment. So, narcissists use victimhood, victimhood is a language and that's why I'm including this clip, this short clip in this video. So, bear in mind it applies only to a slice, the online vociferous malevolent slice of self-described victims of narcissistic abuse who I suspect extremely strongly based on literature, scholarly literature as well are actually not victims at all, but frustrated, collapsed, covert, in many cases, narcissists.


six o'clock. First item is to approve the agenda. If I have any additions to the agenda. No, I don't. It seems like it's fairly full. I wanted to add an executive session to talk about legal matters. And that pertains to some of the literature I passed there. You had one already for personnel. So we'll have one for me as well. Yeah, one for personnel. I put that on there. We actually don't really need it at this point. We can strike that out. I would actually incorporate that into my staff report. Okay. Alright, good. So we'll strike the discussion on personnel issues. Executive session. It'll just be a legal matter. So I do have an item to add if you would like to. So I got late last week. I got a request from Green Mountain Power. One of the properties that we got during the FEMA buyout by the bridge out there by Gilead Barak. There's a property that we sprung. Yeah, right there. So it was a spring hollow? You said yeah. Anyway, because the bridge is being realigned out there, Green Mountain Power needs to have an easement across the property. Put their power lines in, their overhead power lines. And this is just an easement that they're asking for on that property. So it does require our signature by, I believe, everybody on the board. So everybody on the board got that on Friday? Actually, no, it doesn't. It would be just me, actually. But I would need to have an emotion about you. So if you would like to add that to the agenda. It's just an easement. Green Mountain Power needs to have a website. Make a motion that we add that item to the agenda. All in favor? Aye. So we'll add the Green Mountain Power easement discussion. We'll put that right behind the board manual discharge. We call it Green Mountain Power easement request. Is that a word for you guys? We will open it up to you. And now I'd make a motion that we'll accept the agenda as written. All in favor? Aye. All right. We'll open up to public comment or inquiry. Anything that's not on the agenda for this evening? Louisville. So just to kind of refresh, I attended a select board meeting back in October with some concern about excessive speed up in Monica the Woods and some bandwidth among my property with somebody who did some wheelies. And there was some, my request would have something posted for speed and there was some discussion about having a survey of town and figure out what's going on with speed limits. And then I attended the meeting in March and I had investigated a little bit and found out that actually that five mile on the verge of the Louisville is in the town of Ordnance, close to the 25 miles an hour. But there are no signs and there's still one of those signs. And in reading the minutes of the select board meeting, I didn't see any reference to any kind of survey having been done. There was some discussion about it. The numbers do a town survey. And I understand there's so much going on. You guys are really busy. But I'm good to just request it. I mean, let's get some 25 miles speed limit signs put up there since the ordinance does define the speed limit as 25 for that five miles road. Summer is approaching. I'm already seeing, you know, they're seeing their traffic. I'm sure very soon they'll start being those carrying hands of land brokers and jeeps that like to go up there on weekends and things like that. And I just really would like to see something designated for that stretch of road. A week ago we had a neighborhood cookie swap. So there were about 20 really little people that kind of got together and one of the things that I'm pretty sure everybody knew was that speed limit is 25. And most of the neighbors who were there were saying, wow, that would be good if we could get people to drive a little slower. So in the absence of a grand town-like study of speed limits, you know, maybe four or five 25-mile speed signs coming into Lilyville. The idea was not a town-wide survey. It was a survey not of speeds, but of where we are missing signs. And that's been ongoing. It has been ongoing. There's also been. We did talk a little bit about a town-wide speed study. I reached out to two rivers and they said we can't do a comprehensive town-wide, but we could definitely pick any number of roads that you'd like to focus on and we could do a speed study. That's a little different from what you're talking about though. It sounds like the ordinance is already established. We can see if we can round up some 25-mile-hours speed limit signs and we'll look at the new TCD book, which is our guiding book for that, and place them where we can. I'll talk to Alan about that, knowing that that speed limit could change if the speed study takes something. And again, maybe it would change in the future, but I just really feel like we need to get something out there. So where you typically see speed signs is where you have roads that come together. So do you see any signs at all as you come on to Lewisville? No. I mean, when I came in October, I handed out a hand-drawn map that I had done. Do you remember? Unfortunately, I didn't keep a copy for myself, but if you're coming up from the river road in turn right to roll out of your pressure in Stockbridge right then, then once you get into Bethel, there's no sign. When Brinkhill intersects with the Louisville Triangle, there's no sign. If you're up at four-quarters coming from either Stockbridge or from Rochester down on the Campbell Road, there's no signs. So there are no signs at all that doesn't make that 25-mile-hours. So I'll talk with Alan and we can dig through the signs that he has. If we have any 25s that don't meet the reflectivity requirements, if not, the budget starts over July 1st. Our signed budget has been exhausted, but if we can find some money, we'll find the money and get it done early. If not, July 1st, we'll definitely order some signs. My guess is that we can probably round up a few signs and get them posted about that. That's one of our challenges, why we wanted Alan to be getting these surveys, because once you start putting up a sign, you have to have one theoretically at every location where the road enters between towns and at every intersection of the road or during some stretch. If the road changes, if the speed limit changes from 35 to 25, you have to have a speed limit sign there. So it gets really complicated and expensive. So as much as your point is valid, we also have administrative bureaucratic requirements on our end. I understand that. It's time, it's money, it's manpower. I just don't want to let the issue die, especially if you're coming into the time of the year when we do see those speeds increasing with a lot of us. Just so you're aware how this is going to work, I've already went through the map. So I have a paper part that tells me where the signs need to be and the minimum. And then Alan, when he gets time, will go out and he'll actually inventory all the signs that we currently have in place and find out whether or not they need the requirements because there's reflectivity and all kinds of other stuff. But that'll be later on in the summertime. It's not going to happen in time soon. But I think if this road is for the ordinance, it's supposed to be posted and it doesn't have any minimum posting, then we'll see what we can do and at least give a few signs up in some key areas. But I remember back to the conversation we had in March, was we were a little unsure of exactly what the speed should be on the road. I remember, we knew what it was or what it had been in the past that there was some discussion about. We posted at a speed that is, say, too low. We were just going to say, I can't click on this window. I passed it anyways. And I know that we were going to do a speed study, which we've asked the two rivers to do the village. The piece that we had been thinking about, hopefully lowering the speed limit in the village, but of course we're going to have a study to do it. And we were going to add that to the piece when it came in to do it. Sure. Yeah, well, I actually spoke and I said, you know, maybe 25. 25 does seem kind of slow to me. It was funny though that the gospel was here at that meeting and spoke and said that, you know, he thought it was not a bad idea to have it posted at 25. It might keep people down to 35 miles an hour. So again, you know, I'm here just to kind of make sure that it doesn't get kind of lost. I'll look at the ordinance and see what it's posted at and we'll see if we can't round up some minimum signage. Because I don't want to go through and sign it exactly like it should be because it could all come out. And we're probably struggling to find the sign. But we'll get something done for you. And then maybe that's one of the roads that we look at a speed. The speed study takes into account a lot of different things. I read, I don't know where I read it. I don't know if it was statute or somewhere, orange book or something, but the state has actually made recommendations to not put speed limits on their roads because they can create safety hazards because people go too slow or people are going too fast or whatever. They get a kind of a sense of comfort. If they see a speed limit, they think, oh, I can do this. No problem. But I don't think that's what we want to do. Well, I just have an interesting, before I got here, I just was doing some research online and if I'm reading this correctly, if you want a poster road at less than 35 miles an hour, you have to have something to back it up. So when that road was assigned to 25 miles an hour in 1989, it was on the basis of the study by Mr. Frazier. Right. But a town can, a poster road at 35, and not have to have a study done. Correct. You're right. But if they want to move from that either way, there has to be some data to support there. Yes. Yeah. But for right now, we'll see what we can do. Great. I'm happy. Thank you. Thanks. We have been doing some things a little bit out of order this year with Public Works and in the past, one of our main targets this year was to get you downtown with the crosswalk painted and those types of things. Because it's been, in the last couple of years, the crosswalk hasn't been painted until August. So we kind of switched some of the priorities and the signage, being that we were pretty tight on the budget, pushed that to kind of get into the budget here. One other comment, I'm sorry, just really quite, love the bumpouts down the town. Okay, I'll note it. I'll note that. We've been accumulating comments both good and bad, so I'll add that to your question. I'll add it to your comment. Both good and bad. Any more positive and positive comments? All right. That's seven. Yeah. That's a bit of a kind of a mix of bad. Yeah. We'll add it to your comment. We won't forget about that. Okay. Any other comments? Any other comments? Yeah. You're next up. Good. All right. One minute. Okay. Great. We'll go to the floor. Okay. My name is Richard. I serve at the World War I. The Catholic School of Society wishes to donate a minor week to the town of Bethlehem. I'm in Bethlehem residence that serves at the World War II. We would like to place this monument on the site of 442 for the blessing of the select committee. It will be at least a year before we are ready to go ahead with this project. And we will keep the select board in place of our progress and present the select board with the final design. We're going to donate a minor week to the town. And we'd like to put it over there back on 442. We're a tournament guy here at the United Fairness Building. We're going to run into a historical... I don't know how to start with this stuff. That's the historical... Be sure to sign over there to get that. The clock is working. It's going to take a lot of money to do this stuff. But we'd like to walk... There was a monument parked out here. All the way out of the park. Oh, that's cool. You thinking a stone monument? Well, we have a... In a slag, we're going to mount it on a stone. That's the general idea. We don't know if it's going to be marble or if it's going to be... That's the grandest thing to do. So, we're still... We're pretty much still in the process of doing it. We've been raising money for about a year. And we're almost halfway there. The clock itself is going to be in the case of $3,000 to $5,000. And that's the end of the day of the stone. What do we know about the process of putting up a monument on our municipal properties like that? That would be the only thing I would wonder. Well, it would... Whether or not we have a blanket authority... I mean, it would be... We can kind of create a... We can treat it as like an outdoor sign. And it would have to meet some of those requirements possibly, but I don't really foresee it being a large issue. I don't... I just don't want to say, yeah, go ahead and then find out that all you guys should have done... It would be an administrative permit anyway. So, if you just put me on it, we can get... Yeah. Yeah. It's just the legality part of it. Yeah. But it would be an administrative thing anyway. So, we'll be fine. Just you and me. Yeah, the board approves the location. Yeah. Okay, thank you. Well, I think Fort Fortitude is an appropriate place, particularly, you know, you think that the idea might be to recognize other veterans events and services. So, I don't know whether it needs to be a motion at this point in time, or whether we just need agreement from the board, or I mean, it's all in sort of in preliminary planning stages. I mean, it would definitely have to be something that we... that the board saw the plan to the design. I mean, I think we're all on board, you know, and I don't want to speak for everybody, but it seems like a lot of heads are nodding. So, I mean, usually, typically, on this is we, kind of like what we've done with the RI and groups like that is, you know, get behind and encourage and then when the final or right before the final piece is ready, then maybe come back that way and make sure that Yeah, when you get a final design location, just bring it back. That's why I was mentioning about the administrative part, just to make absolutely sure that it's something that can be... From a zoning perspective, I'll look at it, but they'll look at it from a aesthetic perspective, I guess. I think I'd like to...this is more to the board and Greg than anybody, I love the idea and I think that I sort of see for fortitude as this underutilized piece of our downtown and I think that we as a town can be bringing some more attention to it in a way that will get people into it, get people using it and I think this is kind of a perfect intersection of that, so I think my one request to the board is that sort of as we're looking at this, we're also thinking about what are the alternate uses of that space that we want to see or could see in the future is in with the visioning committee or the planning commission, you know how that works, but I think we should kind of roll it all into the discussion as we're making some decisions about monuments. It is a public space, so what authority does the conservation commission have over things like... I know they had the public for us and things like that, I don't know if they could do it. Yeah, they're all only pertaining to conservation issues, so there were the resources or something like that. The planning commission, no. No, I think we're good. It's another part that I'd like to just say is an educational as well, you know. I mean they can bring the kids to the school. Sure, I think it's a great idea. It has to meet certain requirements like everything else, you have to make sure it's within those parameters. Okay. Yeah, just get it ready. Get the final design stuff ready, and I'll show you the permit and all that, and we'll just let them look at the final design and we'll go from there. Thank you. Just to go over the the physical year, 19 tax rate for approval. This is... I'm not sure if that's what's waiting for. I'm not sure. Okay. Okay. I wonder if you were going to make it. Does that adjust the grade at all? It did over the last time. Yeah, I can look at the one you've had in your packet versus now. Oh, I'm sorry. So it does a little bit. You can see our code on your smart information. It also looks like it's a $7,001 increase from last year's Grand Lesbian Hubway taxes to now. So I think that if I look at the town report, I think that we had come up with a number like what, 0.990 maybe? Yeah. So obviously just a little explanation too is the local agreement rate is when you give like a veterans discount, you can do $40,000 I think a year a year on the veterans bills, off the tax bills, and if you gave another exception, like say, have an American Legion or something, you vote on those every three to five years at the town meeting. So when voters agree to do that, that's great, but we still are liable for the school tax. So that's what makes up your local agreement rate. So that's obviously the school tax I call the state, we're not going to see that number until she's dead. She said, oh, it's not the best for July, which is tough for Bethel because you have to get your tax bills out, you don't have to be at 30 without 30 days prior to the due date. So that's hard for people, so we're certainly waiting on that, but these are the numbers I waited for, that's where I was, where she did help with this, and this is not going to change obviously if anything goes through the state of the process, and you don't base your tax rate on that. Some of the slight change due to the added amount that went to human services that was on top of the warning. I did change. You have to see that the general fund amount 194407 was increased by $500 because they totally added that town meeting to increase the budget that we just put forward by that. So that's increased there as well. Basically, that's all the math, right? It's just the cost of my bioretical list, and there's a number. I'm not sure how you can in the past. Of course, Chris, you're well much more involved in school tax than I am. Are you thinking that Bethel's going to see a significant decrease over last year in the school tax? It started off that way. I think the final version is not going to be nearly as high as we envisioned, but I think I heard somewhere in the still waiting for the state's law to come out. Somewhere in the 6th, 8th census. Yeah, so you will see. Which started off at, well, 14 more than doing it. So you'll see some sort of decrease. Which is nice to the taxpayers so well that the municipal tax is not going to be a little bit of a decrease in the school tax. Which is obviously a large portion of your tax bill. Anyways, this is so the two rates that we have is it's 99 99.87 cents on the homestead tax rate and 99.53 cents on the non. And of course the local agreement rate could change a little bit and that just depends on, you know, if you have maybe a 5, someone moved out of town or moved in, so this is obviously based on last year's budget. So I would entertain a motion to accept the rates which is 99.87 cents on the homestead and 99.53 cents on the non residential tax rate. Okay. Second. All in favor? All right. Who's seconded? Both. Not maybe next year. Moving along, Greg's got a few different policies that we're going to back up. Let Greg take us through these most of, well, I think all these are, they're all financial policies. So this is a follow-up on the plan that Trice talked about moving forward with some of the recommendations from the accounts. So actually, Trice put these policies together. I don't know if you have anything, really just for your review at this point, if there's anything in them that you want to discuss. Actually, there's nothing to discuss and you should adopt. Right. I mean, they're pretty well ready to go. Yeah. We use the, based on the the LZT model financial policies that they put out, obviously a treatment for free time, you know, depending on practices. And of course, if you had any signs of audit, there was a letter obviously of, you know, no real significant deficiencies, but certainly fixing burdening management responses to anything they found and then things going forward that's actually covers a few of them. And we have some others that are gone here. So if you have questions, I'm happy to go with you. I mean, I think the policies, I mean, I don't know if we're ready to adopt policies tonight, if you have to the board, but you know, I just barely had time to go through and read through them all, which I think is a really good step in the right direction. And actually the settlement powers, some of the comments they've had the last couple of years have would mainly be fixed through these policies, which is good. I mean, I just hate to rush through policy acceptance based on not really been through it thoroughly, unless the board members feel that they've had enough time to go through them. I can certainly answer any questions on anything and I can talk a little about them. I think there are trees about getting the representative from the settlement powers to come out and we need to go through the audit with us, which I think would be helpful. He always, you know, comes in and you know, basically will answer any of your questions and come up with outlines and things off and call, right, and if we're able to schedule with him, he will be here for two days, I think next week, next Monday, Tuesday we all, you know, they come for two days before you close the list of the year and just great preliminary work. But I'll talk to Fred, he always is excited to speak to someone. Yeah, sounds like a great idea. I know we've had the settlement powers audit every year. But it wouldn't be good to have, you know, get a time slot for the next meeting. I'll talk to Fred then. That's the fourth. Yeah, it's his time when you're, you know, he doesn't know what his schedule is. He's just coming out, I can ask him. Yeah, it'd be nice to have him, if you can ask me some questions. Yeah, I went through the whole thing. I don't understand most of it, but I've seen a lot of figures with parentheses around which is negative stuff. Wait till you see next year. Once you're done throughout the video, I found coffee again. It's nice to have it on. If you have any questions about the audit, if you want to come in and sit down with me, I'm happy to sit down and talk to you about it. And certainly, Fred can answer questions, but I'm always happy to answer questions. I wasn't happy when I saw it, but lost another 90,000. That was it. I was hoping for better, obviously, but this budget current year is tight, but same. But can somebody just talk briefly about these? I had a question about the fraud prevention just at the very beginning. It clearly is a mechanism for employees and officers of the town. I'm curious why there wouldn't be a mechanism for voters or residents to exercise the same kind of concern to bring reports of regularity to even though they typically may not have the same kind of exposure, but if one or was to get that kind of exposure to see irregularities, what kind of mechanism would be in this policy to provide for a voter or a resident to bring this concern? I think that and the resident has always had the opportunity to bring this. They're not listed in here. No, but I think obviously anyone would bring that. I think this is more in line with pulling the whistleblower thing so that somebody couldn't get in trouble down the road if they brought something in a regular area. But it also controls the way we respond if someone blows a whistle then the chair of the select board or the town manager, whoever is the person who's been reported to has to follow the protocol. If we don't include voters in that they can be told thank you very much we'll take that into consideration. And they don't have any recourse to say I brought this report and nobody took action on it. I think it would be worth thinking about it. We could add something for voters or for residents. I think it was more to protect employees as well as public officials. It's more of an internal policy. We'll look at another policy for I just see why it wouldn't I don't care if it does or not I'm just curious why it wouldn't but particularly in this case I do know like in the past we've had you know people can bring concerns to an officer or an employee of the town in that place that you can create the report. It's just the veracity in something like that so it's not necessarily backed up by a land to command. It could be that the policy was not inclusive because it was triggers what could be a costly investigation so maybe there was something else to it as far as my name was designed since it was more of an internal but let me look and see I can certainly reach out to BLCT or Fred and ask what do you see other towns do as far as including past payers recourse so I can happily I think you know obviously I mean you need to say that mostly there are recourses they hope that when they come to report to someone else that someone will follow it up but unfortunately I guess the history is not much longer but it says shall investigate and that is I think really important and it's part of this basically the teeth of this there are reports of the regulatory there's going to be there's going to be an investigation and in the past we haven't had this policy but we have taken action on similar issues and because we know that we need to do but in the case of a of a policy I just want to make sure unless there's some reason why we cannot I can see the statute about that case and that report so let me ask because I agree that I think it was obviously I think the assumption is that officers and employees are going to have the exposure that's going to allow them to the observation of these kinds of regularities and the public generally isn't absolutely I can look into that particularly somebody notices a lot of piece of I I I think it's other than that I get it just basically outlines what people get for financial authority which is what you get now what the department has to get you know cash receipts I took out a conversation with Tim because he does the you know a water sewer it's about having you know non accepting payments and money for the cash receipts the other thing we wanted was to return to that one check the transfer station wanted because you know we will be depositing the check but then it's you know collecting it it costs you money but then it starts to come down so that was something he wanted as well so he was happy to see that but yeah I'm happy to look into the other person and have any questions certainly and I think it's really pretty good I mean some of these policies you would think would kind of go along with the whole common sense of business but you know just like looking at the debt the debt management policy I mean you know you always want to move your debt to a long term debt and however one of the big issues that we just had in this town was we didn't do that and we kept it on the short term and now we're paying for that I mean some of these do seem you know a little petty but in the long term will be beneficial for the town I think that's why BLCT I mean at one point Saddus is the one was the investment capital of the United States and so that's shortly after all of that was coming out that's when BLCT started updating and creating these these model financial policies and sent them out to the town common in town so especially if the treasurer is going to have an axiary relationship or you know with the recommendations that are made in here for some of the things that we noticed exactly it's no different than you know annual audits which again would think that you would do that annually but there was a three year period where we didn't do that so I have to say I thought the management letter would be a lot more painful but when I saw it I was like okay I just figured we'd take to the workshop which was fine but it wasn't as bad as I thought so other than the concern that I raised about voters or town townspeople or the fraud prevention I don't see any I think it would be I'm fine with at least making a motion to accept the other three policies or even that one as long as there isn't some something we're overlooking on that you know I think I can go along with the other and look into that amazed that we didn't have this place are we we've talked about it for three or four years it could be amazed by a lot of townspeople in Vermont I had said this before we were in another town a couple weeks ago and they only had a purchasing policy you know no guidelines to I mean I think to say that we're further headed in most of the smaller towns you know anyway there's still a lot of smaller towns that are split up here doing things in the whole pipeline but you know at some point they'll probably be in a situation that we were in I think the policies are great I think they keep our promise to the taxpayers which is to make sure that these types of issues in the past don't reoccur and policy usually is the way to go to put the information out before employees to follow so Carl's got a motion out there yeah I made a motion okay what was the language of the motion? to accept these policies the three policies which were to implement the accounting, auditing, financial reporting policy and the cash receipts and return checks policies okay and and then the fraud one we were going to the fraud one based on some research on to make sure we weren't overlooking something you did those? yep okay okay okay I have one here what's the cash receipts one? verify the debt management one, the accounting one and the cash receipts policies as written and then the fourth one there's a fraud policy based on evaluating whether or not we're overlooking something okay I answered my own question well done and the next step is the policies the next step is the FY19 municipal roads grant application which we talked about last year and this conforms with the municipal roads general permit so the state came up with this general permit a stormwater permit that basically has mandates that that all the next few years we have escalated requirements for our hydraulically connected dirt roads. And to help with some of these mandates, they've two rivers in the state have come out with this, the roads. It's the Granite aid program we did this last year. The work actually is going to be completed this probably next week for last year's grant. But this is just a funding mechanism which kind of helps with some of those mandates. It allows us to install best management practices which include things like knocking down berms or rock lining ditches, all sorts of different things. Cutting ditches, things like that. Things that we would do anyway, sort of routine maintenance that we would do anyway. But it's a funding, it's funding through them to do this additional work on these hydrologically connected roads. So we have to by the end, or by June 22nd, we have to return the letter here saying that we are interested in the program that will automatically be enrolled into it. We'll get, I think we got, last year I want to say we've got like $18,000 I think, I don't know if you remember. I think it's about $18,000 in funding that we got. And it's an 80-20 deal and what we do is we basically do majority of the work anyway. We have our end kind is covered, no problem. Then we get reimbursed for anything over that 20%. So a really good program allows us to kind of keep up with some of the mandates and to move forward with our roads that need work done to them. So what I'm asking for is a motion to sign this letter. To let our ventures to participate in the Municipal Roads grant aid program. This is that same thing we did last year. Well, from the looks of it, the schedule will get the maximum payout, which is $19,500. We're eligible for that, depending on how much we spend. Yes. And our end kind would be 4,800 records. And that's what we did. Same thing, we were eligible for the max last year too or this year, I guess, whatever you want to call it. It all just depends on how much we spend, right? Yep. And this is for roadway maintenance and so forth. This is not the grant that we would apply for for the bridge. No, this is not. That's a structure's grant. Yeah, this is just to do road, just to do maintenance under roadways that are hydrologically- It's my block. Yep. So I make a motion that we sign the letter of intent to participate in the Municipal Roads grant aid program. Excellent. Any other favor? All right. Is that just for your design or? There's three blocks, but everybody's free. I left them. You guys can fit on the line with me. We can all hang out. Hold on, I have to take up a whole line. I'll leave you the whole time. I'll leave you the whole line.  It's automatic. Maybe I should just send it anyway. Yeah, she'll just email me and say, Rita, will you email me and say what project do you want to do? Let me know. We'll take a look and move forward on. So the next item is the boardroom loan discharge. Great for you to take us through that, right? Just a loan that was paid. But looking at my audit, I was doing some work and realized that she's the boardroom and paid off the loan. So when it was really paid off, we had to discharge the loan.  So she's paid, you know, paid the note of the audit and she's gonna keep it just to make a motion to authorize the town manager to sign the contract. So moved. Sure. All in favor? All right. Unfortunately, this is the burned out diner, isn't it? Mm-hmm. It's open for...  No, no, I just mean it. Unfortunately, it's nothing for her to celebrate if she's home. No, so then write us on it and we'll put it in the land right. Unbelievable.  I'm glad I got it electronically. Yeah, plus a lot. Well, your left right shoulder not to photocopy the audit. I'm like, just send them the link. Yeah, that was great. I'm just fine. If the other one's the final copy of the audit. That's really good. I was like, don't do that to them. Pages. Keep the letter part down or do you want to have it too? All right, great. Take us through here. Sure. So my packet, yeah. Where are you? Report is in your packet. So just a couple. You're in Green Mountain, Eastman? I'm sorry, we have to... Oh, we have to get that. Yes, yes, yes. We have to get the Green Mountain Power, Eastman. So again, this is just an Eastman's for some overhead lines for the Gilliambrook Bridge with the realignment of the bridge coming next summer, I believe. Green Mountain's gonna be required to move their lines.  And this is just a paperwork for that Eastman so they can do their... All around the west side of the road now and they're gonna move east side of the road. Right, right. So they're just asking for a Eastman for those overhead lines. So I just need a motion to allow me to sign this. Yep, so it would be just for sign. Make a motion to authorize Greg to sign for the Eastman. Sir? Hallitator. All right. So yeah, staff report. Just a couple highlights on this real quick. So Theresa and I have been looking over some of the job descriptions of some of the people in town and kind of analyzing where the rad and how valid they are and putting together what we think is a more valid job description. And one of the positions that kind of shook out is was to bookkeeper position. So we went through and really, and she did the majority of this but did a lot of research into what is that position really doing at this point? What are the tasks that make up that job description? And when we got done looking at it, there was a revised job description that was put together and it ended up being after we quantified the tasks that were in that it looked like we were looking at about 15 hours per week. So we really feel that that's a valid number. The person that's doing it is gonna look and see if there's maybe other things that we missed possibly. But we think that all the tasks have been involved that are all included in that new job description. And it looks like it's a part-time position at this point. So unless something significantly changes between now and then, we're gonna move this to a part-time position in July, I think is our window for that. And I think the public keeper position was a part-time position years ago until we had, we were down one and a half people in the office at one point and then we came forward. Right, right. And now that we're kind of in full staff now, there's just, we just don't see that the job that the workload is there to justify a full-time position. So it would be moving to a 15 to 16 hour a week position. This is July 1st, but that may take a little bit longer than anticipated. How does that tie in with the work with the rec department and the pool and all that? That's to be separately evaluated. I just wanna go back to that today with them. So I'm gonna talk to Greg about that tomorrow is to see if now I've listed those duties which did not exist before. We're not in any of these job description. So now we have a breakdown of that. I got this afternoon and haven't had a chance to sit down with Greg. That's kind of morphed into the. It kind of morphed into that position because somebody left and there was nobody left to pick up. So whether or not that would be the same person or someone else who morphed into the pool director's job is to know something that right. But the bookkeeper job itself has a new job description with the actual tasks that are involved now. Yeah. And the recreation would have its own job description and whether I thought of that, we don't know what the model would look like. Town hall painting, I got the grant agreement back. So we're all good to go on that. That should happen in July. They're scheduled to be here in July to paint the, all the way to the top. All the white will be white again, all the way up. That was a quick thing. It only took three years. It only took me. It only took me one year. Sorry. Water master plan. Tim and I will be meeting with the engineers in the state next week. I believe it is to go over the water master plan. We're about 80% complete on that. We should be at about the point where we're starting to see some of the capital improvement stuff start to kind of show up. So we'll see where we're at. We'll kind of see what shakes up with that. Preliminary, preliminary, I can't say that word, but initially they were saying that, I can't understand that word. That the well, the tank is probably not gonna need to be rebuilt from the ground up. So if that holds true, we think we'll just be, yeah, it could be just as simple as a liner and some work on the outside, some very minimal type stuff. Say this a ton of money. But we'll see what other projects kind of shake out of this too. See what else we have as far as high lights for you. Bridge number 33. This is the bridge out there that we're having, that we have a structures grant for. The final design is, I got a copy of the final design for that and it looks good other than there's an S, an area on the, I believe it's the northeast corner. I'd look at the plans again, but there is an easement acquisition that we have to look at. Part of the project for some of our long-term maintenance and some of the construction itself goes into private property. So I'm gonna have to deal with the adjacent property owner and see if I can't get an easement from them.   Well, I knew the owners. Okay. But it wouldn't be a... It's just a sliver, but it's just another piece that we have to do before. Yeah, I mean, it's just basically down the bank there. Yeah, exactly. So I'll be working on trying to acquire a little easement for that small piece of property there. We've been working on the pool. I don't know if you've been by there lately, but we've been working diligently on the pool, doing a little bit of maintenance here and there. We were seeing significant water loss. So we've been doing some patching where we can find places we think might be the culprit. We think we've found it. There was a lot of holes around the drain pipes and the return pipes, actually both. So all the plumbing had some surface cracks on it and some rusting areas that we siliconed, all those drain pooled down, siliconed it all back up and we've brought the pool back up. So we're gonna see how she holds. So all the lining, coating and painting that we've done over the last... That's okay. This is not... This is the piping, the actual plumbing we're in. Does the lining meet those? Yeah, it's the penetration through the walls and things like that. It's just weathered. It's probably, you know... So the actual concrete... Yeah, it's the actual piping itself or even the glue or the grout or whatever they've used around it. We siliconed all that up and we siliconed the bubblers or the little things on top and hopefully we've got it. We were losing about 7,000 gallons a day, which we've been doing. And I think over the years they've lost about an inch a day. So we wanna... Nobody qualified. Yeah, sorry, I should have told you the numbers. An inch, just think it's an inch. But over that surface area it's about six to 7,000 gallons. So we think we've solved that though. So typically through evaporation and all that based on some other factors we should be losing about a quarter inch to a half an inch a day. So we're hoping to get to that number real soon. So anyway, we've been working on that real diligently. They've done some painting. We've done some deck work trying to make it smoothed up and kind of make it look really nice.  So we'll be working on a dry hydrant. There's an up on Campbell Road. The fire chief has been working with a landowner up there, the pond. And he's gotten a grant for this, like we did last year. It's again, I think it's a 75, 25 grant but it's in kind and we do, we get our bike back easily. We get our in kind work, no problem. So I'll be putting that out a bit. I'm hoping this week to get that installed for the next month or so. Got the truck. I'm sure you've seen it around town. The truck in the trailer has run around town where I'm shopping sanders. We'll probably end up getting a sander just right down the road here. They seem to be the most reasonable. So yeah, that's my report. If there's any questions, I'd be glad to answer them for you. No, it looks like rec center looks like it's okay. Yeah, there's, yeah, you know the girls have done a really good job of coming up with some marketing plans and getting some programming out there. I think it's going to make a big difference. There's a, I don't know if you've seen any of the panelists or anything. I'll just point out that there was a flyer that was posted on social media talking about a yoga class, I think, and it made no mention of where it was going. It was a poster posted on the counterbethyl and referenced the recreation department but the poster itself said nothing about it. This is a work in progress. That's been one of the points I've been trying to work on because a lot of that programming is not necessarily pool oriented and everything was about the pool, the pool, the pool. But we're trying to shift that to more of a right facility as opposed to just the pool. So that's good to note that we need to put that location on there. Yeah, all of that. Put that location and that address out there as much as we can, but we're referencing that out there. We're referring to that now as the rec facility, not the pool, necessarily. Because there's a lot more to what we're doing is just the pool. Yeah. Anything else? And I think you have the financial statements there too. Oh, the SNS owner, you were talking to them about the numbers of vehicles that they've got over there? Yes, I haven't really gone too far with that at this point. I know that they're getting, they're more and more and more. Part of that is because we're trying to use them to test our water and don't only want to piss them off. We are required by the state to test the first service after the chlorine. So our chlorine comes out and goes in and they're called a chlorine contact chamber and then we're required to test the first service line. Well, we're not technically, what we're testing now is not the first service line. And I think SNS is gonna be the first one. So we've been trying to get in the door there because that means we have to get keys from them and we have to access our building every day. So that's been part of the hold up with that, not the whole thing, but you're correct. They're in violation of their permit, yes, because they've got too many cars there and they're in the surface water. Right, they've got a lot of protection there. They've got a lot of protection, right? Yes, yes, yes, down. I think Tracy's has faucets. Tracy's plumbing they're there every morning at six o'clock. Damn, damn. We're still not 100% sure that's the first location. I'm trying to figure out how, because things tie in right there, it's a whole lot of engineering going on, but that is potentially the first one. And that's something that in that letter of the state gave us, one of the requirements was to change and verify, even town hall or the town office, that's not. It has to be the first. The first one on the line, the first customer on the line. We may end up having to do like a yard hydrant somewhere because it's the first customer. So, but I'll revisit them and see what we can do about getting them down to the number of cars that they should be at. Just like the potential leakage and arrivals, kinds of things going on so close to the water. Yeah, and we've got, I've got a map that shows that, that ground water protection area, the latest date. Well, I think the other part of it is just the, the degree of emphasis that we've placed on, on bylaws and zoning and development in not only in the town, but in that particular vicinity. Right. And making sure that if we're asking people to accept the decisions of the DRB and accept the limitations of the permits that it's only fair that everybody plays by the same rule. Yeah, I'll put that back on top of the pile, for sure. Anybody have any questions in regards to the budgets? Yeah, I think the only question I had was under the sewer portion. There's some engineering requirements that you had identified. It also goes right to that. So has, are we still waiting on that grant money or is that grant, or is that? It's not in the other above, I think. It doesn't balance within the, well that was, yeah. Yeah, we could be waiting for a. Yeah, there's one reimbursement, I think, left. Okay, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I think there's one more, I can't remember myself, but that was for the sewer, the asset management plan that we got to grant for. And it was probably, I'm sure there was a match. There was probably a 20% match for that, too. Oh, that would be if it was a match. Yeah, I bet there was. A sewer. I'll take a look here, so make a note. And now that we are getting very close to the end of the physical year, it's interesting, our bookkeeping is much better for this past physical year than it has been. It's probably not where we want it to be if you guys haven't been in place the whole 12 months, but there are these items that get budgeted for zero or little that end up having 20 grand out of that in the end of the year. So those are things that during the budget process, we're going to have to look at things like other. And so that's a thing. I wouldn't know if it says out there that's a match. Yeah. So that's a whole year, I'm just like, if there's not a bunch of them out, it's going to be something there or not. Could you explain the, in the sewer, the solid waste expenses, there's a provision for bad debt? Sewer transportation. No, solid waste. Okay. There's a provision for bad debt. Yeah, so that's fantastic. And over on the side, it says, we're often collected debt, but I don't know what the rest of it means. P-U-B-E-T-S. Oh, that's a joint board. That's a joint board. That's a board. That's a board. So yeah, they have agreed to write off. I want to make up for a grand worth of debt. And so then we could write it. Well, we took it off the books. Well, we took it off the books. Took it off the bills, though. Yes. So we didn't create a revenue line for that on the fund because then if you see it triple in later, there may be some of it, but we're not collectible. We just collect all the money from here. Yeah. And you'll see a little bit. So I'm going to put a journal which I want to give you a collection of. Good. So, yeah, and there will be revenue points but some of that don't want to see. So here's to the budget. Here's to the good gentlemen. This is not more complicated than I see it here. Here. Absolutely. Well, we tried to write notes. It helps me because I look at them, too. And I don't have to keep looking up on them. That's what that was, you know. All right, come here. So what's in that column? Yeah. I know. I don't know. So then I don't remember to make a note. Trust me. Yeah. I don't know. It'll be nice once we have a full year. Yeah. Next year at this time we'll have, hopefully, everything coded correctly. Well, we'll have some bucks out, too.  So we do the best so that we can help with some extra to be better but the year after that will be even better because there's stuff now that we've seen that's come up. We should have budgeted for that. And, but you know what you know and then you're trying to look at, basically, we're trying to build a budget about the actuals that weren't correct. So I feel good about the budget but I doubt you will feel better about the one after that. Right. You know, or just like we talked about with like legal and honoring ends, you know, just for so many years, every year we budgeted the same amount, knowing that it was going to run every single year.   You know, when the water got to a hole other when they were going to touch that. So, but a lot of times you don't see those passive legal credits because you would have been covered. Well, plus on the aligning thing, you know, they feel comfortable with us again so that they offered us to reduce, you know, rates for the next three years, which is good. So is that all good savings going on? Yeah, I think it's a pretty significant savings. Yeah. You know, in the things you just don't know. You could go a year in a passive legal issue and then you could have $80,000 you could just don't know and it's hard to plan for that. It is, and it's unusual that you see them that aren't covered by your insurance. So that's unusual. I can figure that out in person. Talk to Brian and talk to Andrew. Yeah, well, we must share it with you. I don't know if you're looking at that, but we had a sizable human resources legal bill that we had no way to judge in what that was going to be. Right. But we're on the constable report. He's, again, I've seen out about the re-opening. He's still getting quite a bit of action down down that Pleasant Street section. 67. So he's, you know, there's some people flying through there. Yeah, we can talk to Mark about putting up a poll or even Alan putting up a poll and they've moved more of the speed signs. You know what I was thinking? We can have speed limit signs if we move around, too. If you can find a 25 mile an hour speed limit sign, we can move it. We can spend a week out in Willysville and then we can move it.  Say, you do a funny double duty with it. But there's balance. Okay. But the radar sign is. Yeah, it's up on North Road and there was, I think it was a hot area for a while but I think it's probably time to move it. I think it's being, you know, combination of a lot of youth pavement in this area, you know, in the town. Plus now that it's nice, you know, the bikes are out and all the tourists are in here. And yeah. People are open. So these work zone signs were they left over just because we had to work the cones out in that spaces? They were. Just as a pre-warning. Yeah, no, it's good. But I just was curious, I didn't see any active work, they were up all weekend and I'm. They were there as well? Yeah, they were. They were working on it. Yeah. But they were left over the weekend just as a kind of a pre-warning. They were just paving the whole line. So yeah, it should be good to go now. Yeah, they're doing both of them. And that was good. But I mean, even, you know, we talked about it, you know, a couple of years ago about how to reduce speed in the town. And you know, of course the common things come up with speed signs and you know, so what was it? Three years? We did a whole lot of work on it. Speed signs to the budget. You know, then it was, you know, we've increased the cost of those presents. And even with all that, you would think that people would slow down, but it doesn't seem like people are going any slower than they were three years ago.  I didn't. Not like you get anything. People are gonna go what people want to go. Yeah. Whatever they're comfortable driving. Maybe if they have a continual work zone down there. We could. We'll just put, yeah. We'll just put permanent flags up to say, you know. You can put a permanent work zone back over there. I like it. I like it. If they don't let us reduce the speed, we can just have it be a work zone. You can put orange cones, permanent orange cones, and we don't do that all the way. What would you do? What about the cost life of that? Take Mark's cruise or leave it over here on this side of the mountain and just park it out there with nobody in it. It's a very effective sweet to time. You would think, but Paul Feeney used to park his cruiser there at his house and the trucks come blasting across that bridge. It's unbelievable. And the cruiser doesn't seem to make any difference at all. Well, it's like a majority of the people he gets are out of state.  I don't agree with that people out there. Well, I mean, it's scary because some of those, you know, like we're saying those 67 and the fifties that it's a questionable 50 to begin with where that stretches and he's given that 67, so. Power film, he's been slowing me down. Everybody take a look at the select board minutes for May 23rd. Oh, okay. What was that? What did you do that? May 21. Okay, on the agenda, it says 25. Is it 21st the correct date? Would the 21st be the correct date Okay, so I need to correct the date. No, no, it's correct in yours. It's the correct date, that's 23rd. So I just. Oh, okay. Can't really make a great date. Next, let's meet. I'm going to read this. So we're good. Okay. So I can only show her. She's not here. I haven't seen anything in the minutes that stuck out to me. Motion makes up the news. All in favor? All right. All right. Lisa, the spirit for another two weeks. Take it easy on that. Thank you. I'll have to get Paul to look at it. I'll get to it next time. It's nothing to care about. Oh, yeah. Paul, first.   Luckily we have this, too. That's great. Yeah, the work is great. As we found out, as we will find out. Yeah. Yeah, so the DRB, the view of the... Eight minutes. The DRB reviewed the restaurant experiment. Seems like they're compromised, I guess. We're working progress with the, with revisiting the issue at the end of the summer season. Yeah. I noticed that it's November 6th, public meeting, public hearing around to reduce the results. Yeah, that's what it was called. It's just gonna follow. Yeah, I think that they are giving them conditional permits to make sure that they follow and that it's success. You know, sometimes these things are theoretical. You can say that it has, the music has to be done by 10, but does it actually get done at 10 and is 10 too late? You know, maybe in practice, they'll have a better idea of whether or not it's legitimate or not. I think it's a great idea, everybody do it. You can see the procedure on the aspects of the DRB. None of us will see it. Also looked like the Ford Festival Committee has been active again. So there's meeting minutes there. Make your hair plans, you know. Does everybody like this? Nice. I think the cue picture there, I can hear people talking. Evidently, there's a bed spot going back into the... I can hear better too. Yeah, I can hear better too. It's funny that I eat so much better. I think it's a, yeah, I think it's so good. I wonder if we pull the curtains down with them. I feel like we're closer to them. Oh yeah, you're right. I think it's much better. It's much better. It doesn't, it doesn't... Yeah, well, we'll keep it this way until... Otherwise, not a thing. So I'm told otherwise. I'm told otherwise. No, I'm told. So October home. All right. Any other business done before the board? I thought I could say. I'm gonna do a little entertaining motion to enter the executive session in regards to legal matters. Sure. Nothing? You don't want to pay for it? All right.