So if you've spent any time in the YouTube universe studying dating or relationship Videos that I'm sure you've overheard You have heard repetitively is what I meant of the concept of boundaries So today we're going to talk about boundaries, but I think it's really important to establish before we get into boundaries For those of us in midlife, I think it's really important to examine. What is a relationship to you and this morning? I was contemplating the idea of dating versus a relationship and now we all associate dating with the Period of time to get to know a person right to get to know a person decide if you want to be in a relationship with them But isn't it fascinating how many people have spent months?  It's certainly okay for people to have Situationships my channel is devoted to those people who genuinely want partnership in their life They want what I call a juicy delicious healthy relationship where it's built on a foundation of trust Commitment and a desire to expend your future with a person So how do we get to these places? How do we get to a point of being in a fully committed relationship? Well, I think boundaries is an important conversation to have Especially in the early stages of dating Now or in the early stages of dating a relationship and let me come back to this I believe dating is the period of time that you spend getting to know each other and At the time you decide to have regular sex with a person That's the time you enter into a relationship and I'm also going to use the terminology Exploring a relationship together because there are multiple layers of relationship. We'll talk about that in a moment But coming back to boundaries. I like the way Brené Brown Identifies boundaries and what she says is boundaries are what's okay and what's not okay for me That's what a boundary is but to really understand boundaries. You have to understand Standards, okay, so this is a boundary, but inside the boundary is a standard What is it?  Now I can tell you as a dating relationship coach who specializes in midlife and midlife is after baby making years and before retirement I Can tell you most women have no clue what they want that they all come to me Jonathan I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want in a relationship But what's interesting is after they go through my proprietary coaching program. Can you guess what they say every single time? They say why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this? I didn't know what I want So if you need some support in that check out the link right here to a free discovery call with me to see if working With a coach is right for you and there's a link below in the description as well Why I emphasize this is not just about knowing what you want but also How to vet the guy in a relationship because it's these days look at The days of just meeting someone at a grocery store because you lived in a small town or Let me backtrack you live in a small town. Everybody knew each other. You married your high school sweetheart That doesn't exist or barely Exists these days the idea of bumping into someone at the grocery store doesn't exist these days these days We spend more time on our devices Connecting with people Then we do out organically in the real world So the challenge today is choosing a suitable partner who has shared values with you a lifestyle that can blend with you and more importantly Emotional maturity being a relationship look at chemistry as many many of you feel like chemistry is the elusive piece Let me tell you something. That's the easy piece You know why because it's either there right in the beginning or not What's harder to determine is does this person really share my values? Does this person's lifestyle going to work with mine and is this person emotionally grown up to be in a relationship? This is why I teach this in my coaching to help you get fully prepared So you know who to choose to be in relationship with so you're not winging it and let's face it ladies Most guys are winging it out there. This is why I encourage you you are in charge of your relationship destiny Don't give that to the guy So coming back to the standards within a relationship We're going to lean into that in our conversation today because we're going to talk about the five must Important aspects of boundaries that I want to share with you today So you're not you're not operating from that naive place.  I know you all love the idea that you can just sit back in your feminine energy and let the guy claim you Yeah Really, how well does that work these days?  They're emotionally wounded. They're bitter. They're jaded. They've let themselves go I'm sorry to be that crass, but it's the reality Is that we're dealing with a population of men and women alike that are just not very intentional in the process of choosing a mate and So this passive approach that you can just sit back in your feminine energy and just hope that magic fairy dust We'll get a guy to claim you it's gonna require effort on your part And certainly it's gonna require effort on a guy's part. It is men and women can't be passive in this process This is why understanding your standards helps prepare you for boundaries I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses. I'm gonna show you my notes here really quickly for a second But I want to share with you something First you have to identify the type of relationship you want and when his intimacy is gonna occur Now what I mean to say is earlier I talked about casual relationships Look at I'm more devoted to partnership type of relationships and I recognize that these days casual relationships might be the most many of you can obtain Or many of you are capable of wanting Repeat that and I don't mean to be Dismissive here. I'm here to say is some people They're not capable of a fully committed relationship where you're actually Supporting one another whether it's financially or emotionally or physically Many of you are not capable of that many men aren't capable of that and many of you don't want that so casual relationships are quite okay Some of you're okay with friends with benefits You're aware that the person you're interested in is all he cares about his sex and you're okay with that and there's no disrespect for that But for those who want a fully committed relationship, I think it's important to know what does a relationship look like for you? What when does intimacy occur in addition? It's having an understanding about communication Folks, you know every woman I talked to says the importance of communication communication Communication, but do you realize many men and women alike? They simply vomit communication. They're talking at you I'm talking to my microphone. They're talking at you and not with you Mass majority humans don't know good communication skills. If you haven't read the book Definitely check this book out nonviolent communication by Marshall Rosenberg By the way, there's a link below to get all the books. I recommend By the way before I recommend any book. I got to recommend my own book What the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work By the way, the links below self-love the book calm Why I'm recommending this book in the book nonviolent communication as well as so many others today and there's again the link below is that I Got to tell you something Just because a woman believes just because a woman has a propensity to express her feelings Doesn't mean it's landing on a guy for her to be seen heard and understood and yes, we typically Characterized men is a motion unavailable. I can tell you Most men are good guys. They're just bad at the process And when two people one person is not necessarily good at expressing their feelings the other person's just vomits their feelings There's gonna be a lot of miscommunication. So communication is an integral part of a healthy happy relationship and last but not least is Identifying what commitment looks like for you. What does commitment look like for you? So let's dive into those five boundaries you must set with men, okay, because we've set the stage and first is the boundary around time Time and what that means is you have to set your standard as to how much time you're going to be spending together in a relationship now Or let me reframe that what? Identify how much time you want to spend in a relationship. Okay, how much time do you want? Most of you know my standard Prior to meeting meeting my beloved sweetheart right there Marie and mind you we were long-distance relationship But for those who live locally my standard was we'd spend on at my my standard was we spend three or four days and nights a week together Doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends traveling together Teamwork building skills both in our personal and our professional life intimacy both physical and emotional Intimacy that led to either moving in together or getting married. Okay. That was the standard I have and That's what I operated for people to live locally now She was long-distance. So my standard was a little bit different in this particular case. I said I was only willing to explore this relationship under the Understanding and she had already agreed that she wanted to live in California anyway in Los Angeles in particular So we created a plan where within five months We actually moved into it with one another and during that time within a within of the five months of Prior to moving in together. I believe we cumulatively Timewise spent two and a half months were 75 days together out of a hundred and fifty days So that was actually more than my original standard. Okay, but coming back to time This is about you not me But why I'm sharing this with you is know the standard you want around time and my notes say here how much time spent together physically and Given that intimacy is the number one cause of breakups Knowing but by the way most marriages site intimacy as the primary reason why they got divorced And intimacy isn't look at folks. It's not spending all day on the telephone. That's not intimacy Intimacy happens face-to-face In fact, I continually say it takes about a hundred hours of face-to-face time just to build the first layer of trust So setting your standard around time how much time do you want to invest in a relationship? Now look it I know the first couple weeks of dating someone we're not applying that but once you've decided that you're going to explore a Relationship together know your standard around time and if this person doesn't meet that standard of time In other words, how much time you're going to spend together then you have to evaluate. Is this the right relationship for you? number two Communication your standard around communication now, there's face-to-face Communication and then there's non face-to-face communication. What is your standard around that in other words? How much time you're going to communicate in these two mediums? Okay, and what does that communication look like a moment ago? I talked about the book non-violent communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I highly recommend I highly recommend checking out this book I hear you the surprisingly simple skills behind extraordinary relationships by Michael Sorenson I highly recommend checking this out. This is a great book to get a better understanding of relationship and more importantly Communication is also about knowing how to resolve conflicts in relationship This is a critical piece And resolving conflicts all comes with your words with your mouth You have to communicate to resolve your differences. In fact, I want to share another book with you. Where is it? This is from from Pastor Calvin. It's called marriage ain't for pugs. He's on the show married at first sight He's one of the counselors there. I think he's just fabulous because his his His perception is all centered around a healthy relationship is all based on your ability to heal quickly when there's differences This morning my sweetheart and I we every morning we get together for breakfast or not breakfast for coffee We spend about an hour and a half chatting. I usually bounce ideas off of her and something I said triggered her and She immediately opened up about it That's setting her boundaries. She opened up about it And I and we we've discussed it and we end up having this amazing dialogue afterwards And one of the things she says to me is she said to me early on I am not going to do what I did in my past Relationships and that is stuff my feelings under the rug Folks knowing your ability your ability to speak your truth as I talk about in my book What the heck is self love anyway to speak your truth do it with kindness? In other words speak from a sincere place This is what's so needed and that's the standard you want to establish early on in the relationship number three This is one I haven't shared before but it's social media presence social media presence your boundary around this What I mean to say is let's face it most everybody has an Instagram or Facebook or some social media presence What is your standard going to be in relationship? About how you utilize these mediums with respects to your relationship or not Backed I was in a relationship with a woman who she created something called the social media pre-nup And this really relates to my my relationship because my sweetheart Preferrs that I'm not public on the social media and or like Instagram and Facebook about identifying who she is And the reason being is I got to be candid with you There's been some people out there my YouTube comments that have written some very nasty things about her I've had some people stalk her and it's very disappointing to witness the trolls out there and those That jealous personality type that wants to figure out who this person is and and delve into her life and do Background checks and whatnot. I mean, it's been disgusting some of the things I've read and why I'm sharing this with you is Social media plays a huge role these days in relationship. So I think it's really important to identify What is going to be your standard with with social media with respects to your relationship now in my case? Because I'm a public figure and because I want to protect her I don't give her last name out and nor do we establish that our names on our Facebook profiles Because I want to be protective of her and I hope you appreciate that I want to be protective of her It's not that I'm hiding anything But the same time You have to be you have to talk to your partner about how you're going to utilize social media In fact, I basically, you know I'm allowed to post pictures of my sweetheart and when I say allowed to she doesn't she's okay with that because she wants to protect her Privacy, but I think you should have a boundary with respects to your social media presence with respects to your relationship Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to the channel if you're brand new That's the third boundary the fourth boundary centers around what I call financial agreements the use of money is an integral part of a relationship and Given that the second most common reason for divorce centers around money I think it's imperative to have conversations about money sooner rather than later the minute two people Enter into a relationship. They call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. I think it's imperative But Jonathan men are supposed to pay for everything because that is this traditional standard Folks, we don't live in that world where men represent 99% of the workforce. Okay, right now women Women actually outnumber men in the workforce and while there might be a wage gap at the higher-end wage scales If a man makes 75,000 a year and a woman makes 74,000 dollars a year they both make about the same amount of money and these days at least here in Los Angeles It takes a million dollars to survive and that's just being tongue-in-cheek Reality is when it comes to money The vast majority of Americans here live paycheck to paycheck The vast majority of Americans barely have three months savings in their bank account It's going and by the way, we have an aging population where it's going to be much harder to retire So having Conversations around money sooner rather than later is an important boundary to establish because I've spoken to men Who have broken up with women because they thought the women that they were with were not contributors Financially to a relationship That's right. I've spoken to many men Their number one complaint was these are women that didn't contribute financially to the relationship They had an expectation that the man did all the work and these are men that have gone through divorce And they've got alimony and child support to contend with so being naive when it comes to round money is a very Let me just say being naive about anything is a is setting oneself up for disappointment and I'm drawing attention to it so having a financial agreement Once you've explored you're in exploring a relationship together and last but not least the fifth boundary Where's this relationship going? What's the purpose of exploring a union together? What's the purpose of spending time together? Is it casual? Is it?  Bottom line is this do you want to be? 50 and still dating do you want to be 55 and still dating do you want to be 60 and still dating?  Although. I have health clients in that capacity number of times But my point is is you have to be your own protector You have to be your own matchmaker You can't leave it up to the guy guys are relatively clueless men follow better are better at following directions And I know but Jonathan I want a confident alpha guy that does all that good luck finding that guy Those guys are insecure. Do you realize the number one emotional health issue for most human beings is I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. This is true of men and women alike and Dating triggers this number one wound You know think about it the average person by the time they hit 50 years old has had three significant relationships And if you've had three relationships that didn't work out that wears on our emotional well-being So don't count on guys being this sophisticated like all these these feminine energy coaches They're they're selling you on this fantasy of Prince charming who doesn't exist. Yes There are the broken clock in other words.  You give them direction You're the ones reading these books more so than men and I will tell you this if you haven't Everyone knows my rhetoric Before the penis goes inside the vagina you read the book eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman and at least do chapter One together at least read it for yourself. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know All right coming back to First off boundaries to set with men. They're all set on your standard your standard around time Communication social media presence financial agreement and lastly where's this relationship gone?  You want within those areas and you speak up because a boundary is simply what's okay, and what's not okay for you? Ah All right, I think this will be a great place to take questions for those who know my live stream format We're taking questions right now if you're familiar with it There's a little chat box below right the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat There's a dollar sign the chat box all the monies from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship On in the name of my son Connor Asley. That's him right there He's my son who passed away Four and a half years ago and his honor I've started a scholarship fund to donate to causes like the Hoffman process and insight Institute just to name a few Okay Sometimes I get choked up when I think about Connor. All right, so if you have a question write the word question and Then post the question there in also hit that like button. Please share this video as well All right, let's see what kind of comments we have so far Ah Andrea says great info. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Hillary says I'm reading it. I'm glad which book are you reading? Stephanie or a sue stars starshine says I can barely afford anything on my own without a partner My ex moved out a few years ago and he lives an hour away He also has another woman that he's involved in with this previous tax. I'm sorry to hear that Someone said root says could it be out of jealousy that they're mean to Marie? Yes I do believe that there are some significantly jealous people that are somewhat it's just disappointing to get hateful comments or or Jealousy type comments. So yes, that is the case and Pam says I'm disappointed in hearing that Thank you so much for sharing that. All right. Let's see if we go We've got a super sticker from Margaret of seven dollars and ninety nine cents. Thank you so much. Ah Adrienne says awesome. Thank you. You've taught me so much. Here's a question What are senior men really looking for great question? What are senior men really looking for?  Maybe sixties You got married you're married for 20 25 years, and it didn't work out You look you were you were married before there were smartphones, okay? You used to use a pager, okay, and you're just thrust out into the dating realm that I'm watching a show on Hulu called Fleischman is in trouble and Now mind you it's a 40 year old man going through a divorce But I think men that are in their fifth late fifties and early sixties going through divorce. They're shell-shocked It could be very for man or woman alike. You can be literally shell-shocked and It's difficult because the dream you had in your twenties and thirties before you got married Collides with this reality, and I think most people don't know what they want Because they don't know how to actually what's known as co-creator relationship co-creator relationship Co-create me it really means being two people Intentional in the process, and I think a lot of men and women men in particular are rather clueless doesn't make them bad guys It just makes them Human beings because nobody teaches this shit to us growing up You know all we had for role models is our parents which in many cases they were dysfunctional We had TV shows that glorified things In the fantasy realm, but we had nobody teaching us the mechanics the big basics of a relationship folks There's a book well two books. I want to recommend right now This book seven principles for making marriage work now why I'm recommending this book is that it gives you the mechanics? Whether you're in a relationship Whether you're married or just in a relationship with someone these are them This is the mechanics and another book is making Marie turning this on to me making your second marriage a first-class success These are great books to teach you when I talk about mechanics I want you to think of like you just bought a model airplane more of a guy's thing probably But you bought a model air. No, you're making a dress Okay, my mom used to make dresses and she'd get these patterns Well the patterns told you where to cut and where to do things and where to sew if we don't know the Pattern on how to make a successful relationship It's no wonder men are clueless and men don't buy these books at the same rate as women do So this is why there's nothing. It's not that they're bad guys. They just don't know how to make it happen So guess what's happening now? I have clients and many of you followers reaching out to me Oh my god, Jonathan. We're reading the book eight dates together. Oh my god, Jonathan We're reading this book together and it's like gold because now there's a blueprint guys are great once there's instructions So just help them along the way with instructions. Does that make sense? All right, I hope that helped. Thanks so much Debbie All right forgiven says hi John. I just blocked Hi, John. I just blocked on the second date because I didn't want to do more than kissing He was respectful, but then when I got home He didn't talk to me then blocked me for a week. I'm sorry that happened Ruth writes question Why are some men don't like it when you have normal boundaries like they want to use your Okay, they want I forgot by the way, I forget what the acronym is for SMH. So can someone remind me Why do men why why are some men don't like it when you have normal boundaries, you know Because there are a lot of childish men out there that you know that Are Incapable or they're dysfunctional at being in a relationship. So I wouldn't focus on those men who don't like your boundaries What I would focus on is attracting a man who wants healthy boundaries God universe spirit.  Okay, Ruth. Thank you so much for your question Hey, I want to thank Sarah for the $2.99 super sticker big hugs and appreciation to you Michelle writes question. I Set my boundaries. He disappeared and came back after nine months. Do I give him another chance? We've been on and off for two years Here's the thing if you are going to give him another chance then establish what your standard is going forward and actions matter most so what is your standards in This relationship what's your standard around time? Communication your social media presence your financial agreement, but most importantly, where is this relationship going folks? If you don't have a clear understanding of what commitment looks like for you Don't expect a guy to know it. We can't read your mind. You establish the standard. I told you my standard I use this frequently my standard was real simple Spending three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends Traveling together teamwork building skills both in our personal our professional life intimacy both physical and emotional intimacy that lead Leads to either moving in together or getting married. That's the standard You can deviate you can vary it a little bit But you know with respect to how often you see each other, but that's the standard. I'm recommending for all of you I'm serving it up to you But Jonathan, I'm in a long distance relationship and we talk every single day 42 times a day But we still haven't met yet and it's been three years. Oh my god the insanity some of you folks I'm sorry. I've got to call you out Not all of you But there's people out there that think they're in relationship with someone because all they do is talk on the phone and text each other all day long That's listen. That's called a cyber relationship.  Well, yes, it does.  All right, that's my rant. I'm done. Sorry for ranting All right, thank you Vicky says right on Sherry says Jonathan your sweetheart should start a dating matchmaking service that the one that used to be on TV We'll see about that. Oh You met you and my sweetheart and me. Thank you so much. All right Pam writes question My dating question my dating profile. I feel is good, but I don't get very much interest I have a lot to offer but sit alone. I'm 65. Do you think it's age-related?   Oh This is delusion in my mind that people think that's quality But with that said a quality photo quality profiles should garner at least one or two Emails a day or swipes a day at a minute. No matter what your age. I have a 78 year old client. Oh my god She's she's got five boyfriends going on right now. I mean she's got oh, she's got some more opportunities She knows what to do with and she's 78 All right, that's my two cents on that Pam. Thank you so much Adolin says we have yes, we have had no teachings. I'm so glad you have explained so much to me I'm so into you into boundaries and it's a big difference way to go. Thank you Margaret says I think you are right. No one knows the mechanics. How can you do something if you don't know how exactly? Well, Jonathan, I like to live in this fantasy bubble because magic fairy does always works Okay, that's my doing my little kid voice Margaret says that's so important guides need instructions Exactly exactly Jade says please give us some points about healthy communication not vomiting or under expressing I just recommended two books these two books Because these books will explain here. Let's open up one of these books. Okay. I hear you Let's just let's just scroll bump bump bump Okay, let's use an example since you want one the comment is This this cold is annoying. I can't sleep. I have a hard time breathing and my throat is killing me So the partner is expressing frustration of having a cold an Invalidating response would sound like this. That's unfortunate, but you'll get over it I it could be worse my neighbor caught the flu last year and was bedridden for almost a month So that's an invalidating response a validating response would say oh that sounds miserable It's so frustrating not being able to sleep when you're sick and I can't stand sore throats That's a validating response. So one is invalidating their feelings and the other is validating their feelings By the way, men are terrible at validating feelings I would look by the way ladies you have a big you have a reason to gripe men would say that's unfortunate But you'll get over it. It could be worse my neighbor caught the flu last year and was bedridden for almost a year Yeah, guys are guys can be bad at validating feelings. I get that All right, I hope that helped Jade, but the book I hear you by Michael Sorenson one more time I hear you by Michael Sorenson. It's in the description below under recommended books By the way, Hillary says SMH Shaking my head. Okay. Got it. My my bad. I'm not good at all the acronyms Starshine wants to respond to Pam it depends on the dating site your profile is on some sites are for younger generation between 18 and 40 other sites are for singles over 50. That is a good point, but match.com is the predominant Most used dating site and in the United States anyway, Wanda writes question I think sometimes women and men should just find themselves for a while. What do you think find? Oh, great point folks the four stages of of Relationships starts with being in a healthy place yourself both physically your body and Emotionally being in a healthy place the second aspects of relationship hierarchy is knowing Who is compatible with you and how to vet for compatibility? The third is being attractive to be you know being attractive and having good flirting skills If you don't have good flirting skills, you're behind the eight ball I got to tell you some go to go on YouTube and watch flirting skills and last but not least coming back to why I Recommend all these books how to maintain and make a relationship thrive if you don't have those four components You're behind the eight ball.  I'm sorry to say this is why my my clients Oh my god I got a message this morning from a client who's just went off to Paris with her boyfriend I mean there she's like I can't believe What a difference it is working with you Jonathan because now I see the difference in how I show up And what I've attracted my life and folks I can't guarantee that that relationship of the many others aren't are gonna work out I just had a client get married this year. I've had clients in Alaska of all places Idaho of all places and I'm just saying they just seem like in the boondocks compared to those of us Who live in on maybe a city area? But if you want to make a difference in your life, you've got to become intentional That's why check out a link to free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you All right, let's keep going. By the way, am I making a difference in your life? Please. Let me know. Please post a comment Debbie writes Question I'm giving up trying to find a decent man. No John. They are not out there. That's not a question Debbie That's a statement and I can tell you I Know so many women who have met great guys But if if your belief system that you that there are no decent men then your belief system is true for you That's your belief system Marie She didn't believe that She didn't believe that she believed matter of fact. She attracted great guys. We've talked about many of her We talked about her to Significant relationship and some of the men she dated she dated quality guys They weren't right fit for her but she dated quality guys and it has nothing to do with their looks It's because she had standards and more importantly. She had boundaries But the one thing she had in her mindset was it's raining great men. It's raining great men It's raining great men. So what did she attract great men? So it's the difference between your and and Tigger your there's no good men out there. All men are assholes Men are users. They're narcissists versus bouncy bouncy bounce bounce. It's raining great men. It's raining great friend It's raining great men. Do you want to be ticker? You want to be ticker? Do you want to be your? And I'm sorry. I called you out on that Debbie, but I'm telling you that statement is your it might now I'm not saying it isn't true for you, but there are it's not an absolute. It's just a belief Thank you so much for posting Meeves Meeves says I love your rants. Thank you so much and I agree Let's keep swimming Question from Wanda Do you think it's fine to find you again after becoming single after years of marriage after it ends because they passed away? Yes, it is always good to find your true self. It's always good to do that All right Star shine says amen Jonathan. I agree with you humans need physical social intimacy over the phone doesn't provide that exactly Hey, corny cob is in the house Question as a parent what rules would you have in place for your kids when they begin dating? That's a good one You know with my son there's Colin He's gonna be 27 this year My only role for him was Be of integrity follow the four agreements Folks if you're not familiar with the book the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz I just want to share this with you. The four agreements are Be impeccable with your word number one Don't take anything personally Don't make assumptions and always do your best. I'm gonna repeat that be impeccable with your word That's what I taught my son Don't take anything personally believe me. I've grilled that into his head. Don't make assumptions That's a big mistake and always do your best if I had a son or a daughter Excuse me.  What the heck is self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work all the books I recommend are in the link below. Thank you so much horny cob for that question Oh Given that it's Valentine's Day How do guys feel about Valentine's Day if a woman wants to use it to show affection is it off-putting cheesy even though I'm not really into it and I use a tool to get closer By the way, I think my beloved and I will do a video tomorrow for Valentine's Day So personally she perfect she looked at me today.  We're not getting each other gifts, right? Yes We don't because you know what she said She said every day with you is Valentine's Day. I swear to God those were her exact words She said every day with you is Valentine's Day. We treat every day With a sense of love and romance and care and kindness attention affection appreciation And acceptance when you have that every day as Valentine's Day Most guys can't stand it because it's an expectation to do something to perform in a certain way They overcharge you at restaurants Make every day Valentine's Day in my opinion. Anyways, that's my two cents on that. Thank you so much Jan says question in your opinion. What's the best online dating apps for women over 50? I actually I like match.com just as a dating site and bumble and hinge We're too good. I think those were really good dating apps bumble and hinge Let's keep going Maya says what's an example of giving direction without sounding critical or demanding? So here's a great example of giving direction. I'm gonna use the sex conversation I'll be Marie You'll be Jonathan. This is Marie talking Jonathan, I just want you to know something when I'm Interested in becoming intimate with a man. I do so with men who want to be in relationship with me So my standard for intimacy physical intimacy is that I'm in a relationship with someone That's how I operate. How do you operate? See you're coming. Okay, stop now Jonathan Marie You're coming at it from a curiosity.  I'm not I'm not asking.   That's not my standard. Bye. Bye Anyway, I hope that helps Maya. Thank you so much for that question Question in your opinion, do you think a 15 year age difference is too much? Absolutely not I don't they can be there could be some issues But I don't think it it doesn't have to be can be but it doesn't have to be All right, let's see. Wow Let's go to the end Maya says good. Thank you. You're very welcome Jan says, ah, thank you for what you do. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. I appreciate that let's see Jonathan some good advice by by your girl of Valentine's Day gift We just went on a two-week cruise And I upgraded us to the fancy suite. So that was Valentine's Day Christmas combined and by the way We're not gifts is our least Is our of the five love languages if you're not familiar with the five love languages words it? Words of affirmation quality time physical touch access service and gifts gifts is our league both her and I it's our least You know, it's our least desired It's our least desired love language. So I mean we give each other We're practically give each other gifts every day by being of service to one another by communicating one another and as far as Valentine's Day I know for a fact and I know you ladies are saying go out and buy some flowers I could do that and maybe I will but you know what we talk every single day We have Valentine's Day every time Anyway, thank you so much for that Wait ocean, what does this say? Thank you for your response. I don't think it matters if at all Compatibility is there certainly compatibility is a necessity for a healthy happy relationship You know folks, I think this would be a great place to wrap up today Just as a reminder those five boundaries you must have are centered around your standards your standard around time Your standard around communication your standard around social media presence your standard around financial agreement and lastly your standard Where's this relationship going? In other words having a clear-cut idea of the type of commitment you want That's my invitation for all of you. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know Please hit that like button. Please share this video Please subscribe to me on my channel if you're brand new and I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off give myself a big gigantic shot the bear of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm actually turned to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow There's a teddy bear give either them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it We could all use more love in our lives. I Want to thank Andrea and Sherry and starshine and Margaret and Ocean Hugh and Pam and Maya and Jade and desert desserts Jennifer Leave corny cob Pam Carla Debbie everyone. Thank you so much. Have a fab evening. You be well. Bye now


So, anybody could be a mystic. Do you think, though, that technology is a good thing?  If there was one advice for the youth today, what would it be? I just love to know, like, how you define joy.  Can you describe what a mystic is for people who may not know? See, there are only two kinds of people in the world. Mystics and mystics. Those who have made a mistake with their perception, they are mystics. So much suffering happens because of that. If you perceive everything right, people will call you a mystic. So anybody could be a mystic. Of course. Wow, I love that. If it is… Do you think, though, that technology is a good thing or a bad thing? Technology is neither. The beautiful thing about technology is if you learn to use it, it works for you. But who you are will decide how you use it, isn't it? So what we need to fix right now in the world is, who are we? This is what we need to fix. We've all become many things which we are not. Essentially, we are born as life on this planet. Rest of the things are taught to us, isn't it?  Right now, do you want to keep your mind, your thought process, pleasant or nasty? Tell me, what is your choice? Ideally pleasant. Just tell me, pleasant or nasty? You're thinking about it, this is… No, I'm trying to think, should I fox you and say nasty? Say it. Okay, nasty. I'm going to bless you now. No, no, no. Okay, I'll take back my words. Okay. Any human being's choice for themselves is definitely pleasantness, isn't it? Body, mind, emotion, everything and surroundings, you want it pleasant. So why is it not pleasant? Surroundings are not pleasant because of many things. If your thought and emotion are not pleasant, it's entirely you, isn't it? It's like this, on a certain day a lady went to sleep, a lady went to sleep. In her sleep, she had a dream. In her dream, she saw a hunk of a man standing in that corner and then he started coming closer and closer and closer. He came so close, she could even feel his breath. She trembled, not in fear. And then she asked, what will you do to me? The man said, well, lady, it's your dream.   I'm saying at least fix this, at least let the dream happen the way you want it. I did this campaign called hashtag I pledged to be me, which was against body shaming. And I got so many emails but this one email stuck with me, it was by this nine-year-old girl who wrote to me saying she's suicidal because she's fat and dark. And her family used to tell her that you're never going to get married.  So I feel like, you know, this whole thing where you start becoming your own enemy in your own head, I think that has been starting pretty young for a lot of people. The level of exposure today is such that what happened to you at 14 is happening at nine. Yeah. It's like preponed everything. It is, yes. So what happened probably in my generation at 18 happened to you at 14. What happened to you at 14 is happening at 10 or 9 now. So this rush to live. Grow up. To live. Okay. Essentially to live early, you know, everybody wants to live, they think it's a race. If life is a race, you must win. If you must win, you must get to the finish line quick. That means what? You must be buried first head of others. If you win the race, you're finished, isn't it? Life is not a race. It is a certain phenomena. How profoundly can we experience this phenomena is all there is. It's not something that you have to do. It is happening. Life is happening, isn't it? Yes. How profoundly will you experience is all there is in your hands. Before coming to today's engagement, my 13 year old daughter was asking me, you know, could I ask a question? I'm like, sure. So this is from her picking up on this whole male female that she is influenced by given society and the narrative that has been played. And she said, I am curious to know if there was one advice for the youth today, what would it be? See, gender is a personal thing. I'm sorry, I'm putting it in a very basic way. Please. What is in somebody's pants is not my business or your business. It is only relevant in a few places like bathrooms and bedrooms and somewhere. In the rest of the places, your gender is irrelevant. It's a question of your competence, what you can do, what you cannot do, what you're capable of, what you're not capable of. We need to bring the world to this place that what kind of body you have is not my business. Only in bodily relationships, it matters. In the rest of the time, it's not my business. So I just love to know like how you define joy. Well, if you could define it, it would not be worth pursuing it. I love that. Because they're calling it by different names. Essentially, it is life if it's exuberant. In its exuberance, it may be joy, it may be blissfulness, it may be ecstasy. Well, if it's relatable, it may become love. These are all different manifestations of exuberance of life. Joy is not a philosophy that you take on. Like right now it's become in pursuit of happiness. Where are you chasing it? And why is it elusive? Because you think it's somewhere else. It's just that this life, when it functions in an exuberant manner, not in a depressed way, in an exuberant manner, that means if you open the cork, it is exuberant. If you close it and keep it, then it becomes depressed. In this mass of life that exists on this planet, for all of them clearly drawn out lines by nature, you can do this, you cannot do this. For you, lines are not fixed. So human beings are not suffering their bondages, they're suffering their freedom, because they don't know how to deal with it. Let's unpack that. It's the freedom that they're suffering? It's the freedom that they're suffering. What do you mean? Why do you think everybody's trying to bind themselves to somebody? Because they cannot be free, if they're free, they feel terrified. Somebody has to hold their hand all the time. See, I cannot live without you. Or I cannot. You taking that. Whether I say I cannot live without you or I cannot walk without a crotch, what is the difference, I'm not saying? See right now we made it very romantic and if I say I cannot live without you, that's supposed to be the best thing. No, I can live perfectly without you. Right. But by choice I'm having you here, isn't this a great thing? Right, absolutely. In many ways, a woman is like the flower of human species. A root is most important, but if a root doesn't flower it'll feel frustrated. The fulfillment of life will not happen. If feminine has to find a place, the right place in the world, we need to create a balanced society where the finer aspects of life are as important as survival. If in our education systems, music, art, aesthetics become as important as science, mathematics and technology, only them, feminine will find expression in a society. This must come into our education system. This must come into our social milieu. So in only making this happen, empowerment of the feminine can happen.


others who may follow later. Welcome to Jenkins documentation and development mentoring for Shekot Africa Contributon. Oninye and Esther, we're grateful to have you both here. Kristen is joining as well. We're being recorded, be kind to each other, and we'll go ahead. So what I'm going to do is share my screen, and we'll use that as a way to outline our agenda and be sure we agree on and choose the right topics, etc. So here's what, whoops, here's what I've got. How's it going? First question, and then there were some questions from Monday, the docs chat group, bios and photos for the blog, code of conduct. I think we've got covered no issues there, but just to be sure, and Slack channel. And then I think those should all be fairly brief. And then it's, what questions do you have? And let's provide some answers. Let's see ways we can help you identify barriers, identify issues, resolve those issues, etc. Does that sound good to everyone? Yeah, good evening. Good evening. Thanks for joining. Thanks very much. Okay, so how about on Union? Do you want to give us the first status? How are things going? Are there things that have been in your way? Are there things where you were surprised? Cases where, oh gee, this was a problem that I didn't expect to be a problem, etc. Okay, thank you. So far, it's been going well. And it's been challenging because most of the things we're doing here, most of them have changed to me. So I have to keep on going through the materialized and the provided. I make sure I do through the over and over and over and over again. So we don't really understand what we're talking about. Yeah, but it's so fast of you, too. It's been a wonderful experience. You mentioned that it's taking multiple reviews, and that's certainly must be challenging. So I think what that's saying is the task list was not detailed enough or not detailed enough for someone with who hasn't worked in this particular project before. Good. Okay, excellent. Any other insights you'd like to share on things that things that could have made your initial your initials beginning easier or smoother? Everything is fine. I didn't really say the tax list was not detailed enough. It's they are well detailed, but then we still have to I still have to go through them over and over again. Yes, they're detailed. And that's why we're making progress. Yeah, good. Okay. Yeah, very, very point. Good point. So multiple cycles through the tasks. And I think we've seen that for others as well, is that there are times when a task that I thought was sufficient turned out many people have bumped into a problem in that task. So it just we're just learning. That's okay. I have I don't mind at all that that if we have to go through multiple times, that's great. Thanks for for doing it. And thank you for helping us learn together. All right. Thank you. Great. Esther, would you like to go ahead? Okay. So far, it's been it's been fine. Although I've been having I had issues with Docker, and I had to do a lot of research. So most of the issues that I've been bumping into, I've had to, well, I just solve them on my own intuitively. So it's been, if I find so far, I think one of the issues that I felt like something has been really disturbing is the whole restarts of Jenkins. The last time it had the whole I had the whole restarts issue, and it never restarted.  And then my laptop died. And then again, today, I was, I saw that I had to this Jenkins, I had to upgrade, not great updates, some plugins. So I tried to update it. And then it restarted. And then it never restarted in the end.  So I think that's the only that's the only thing. And then my assigned plugin, I'm not, I don't think he has enough documentation, except maybe I didn't go to the right page, but those the page I went to, it didn't have anything in it. And there does that is that no documentation. So was that a case of, hey, what should I do next? Tell me more the it was the case of okay, but I didn't really think much about it because I've not gotten to that part. I'm still building a pipeline. So, so I was like, okay, when I get to this part, then I can start asking questions. Let me just finish what I have to do first. Great. Okay, now back to the to the restart. This is this is a really good information as well. So what kind of operating system are you running on your computer? And tell us more about your computer so we can understand if it's if it's likely Oh, this the system is small or something else. Okay, it's a 12 gigram. Oh, wow, that's okay. Yes, yes, it's very fast. I love it. Yeah. And um, okay, it's a gigram. It's called i5. It's a Windows 10 home. Okay, which should absolutely work just fine. Okay, is it 64 bit or 32 bit? 64. Okay, all right. So it's got it's got access to those 12 gigabytes of memory as well. Okay. Huh. And and what Jenkins configuration were you running? Were you trying to run Docker then? No, I was trying to update a plugin. So it said Jenkins will restart after the update or something. And there was no way for me to tell if the update was done. So I'm just waiting. Okay. I wasn't clear enough, I think with my question. So when you're running jank when you install Jenkins on your Windows computer, did you install it using the Windows MSI package? Did you install it using the Jenkins war file? Or did you install it using a Docker image? No, I used the MSI. Oh, okay. Interesting. So you were using the MSI to install. Use the MSI to install. And that should have should have found a 64 bit JDK. So can you confirm that and you can do it after the after our session, confirm that your JDK is 64 bit and not 32 bit? Okay. Because it should the the failure you're describing sounds like it's might be starved from memory. And and that's possible. But with with 12 gigabytes of memory, I don't know how it could be. That's that's that's quite a lot. Okay. So so how about if we put here action, confirm that 64 bit JDK is being used, not a 32 bit JDK. And I thought that the JDK is default to 64 bit. So that would surprise me if it weren't Kristen, any, any other things you might suggest to investigate that might be causing crashes like that? Oh, man. Because I know most of the time, whenever I work with Jenkins, I just use the war file. Right. But this is actually a good test. I don't know if anyone has tested the MSI installer recently. So yeah, like that could be something that we just need to investigate. But in the meantime, if you could say like I've used the war file, just to get around the MSI problems. But we can look into this. I haven't used MSI in a really long period of time. And that's a good suggestion. Try running a Jenkins war file from a command prompt window on the same computer, just to see to see if it behaves the same way. Right. And I know that that will have a different Jenkins home than the MSI. So if you've tried to install like custom plugins or something, it might not show up, but it will put it in your folder. It's like it will be in like C users, whatever your user is, and then dot Jenkins. Yeah, it goes into percent home drive, home drive, percent home path, dot Jenkins. And that's a big use in the war. And then you can see the plugins that are installed there. It just is a little bit easier, I think. I think the MSI like routed somewhere in local data. 100%. Right. I think it might be easier to use the war file if you're running a different problem with the MSI. And then actually, this is something that we should investigate to see if the MSI maybe has an issue. Right. Good. So now I wasn't aware that Docker could run on Windows home, but you have been successful, Esther, in getting Docker to run on Windows home? Yep, I have. Good. Okay. Very good. All right. Yeah. Excellent. Okay. That's great. All right. Who else do we have with us? So Kristen. Ah, okay. So how about we take Cynthia next? Hi, everyone. Hi. For me, it's going well. So far, I've been able to create two poor requests. What has been, what has been challenging so far is understanding the, some of the arguments, what they are trying to do. So also like for the Git plugin, I tried to check the arguments that were missing the online help, but I couldn't find one. So I was not sure what I have to work on on my assigned plugin. So yeah, maybe what I could request is, are there new resources or any tips on how we could understand more on what the arguments are or are trying to do? I think that's what has been challenging so far. Yeah. My apologies for that one. That is, that, that effectively sets you up to fail on the Git plugin. I maintain the Git plugin and I've tried very hard to have documentation for all of its arguments. So, so my apologies that that's a plugin that we hope is, is a good example of how to document things. And when it isn't, we try to fix it. So, so my apologies. Yes, you're right. What we probably ought to do is assign you a different plugin for purposes of doing the, the argument work. Are you, are you willing to do that?  This is the, let's put, if we were to take the, where is my pivot table? Here it is. Okay. So here's my, here's the pivot table I've been using to track who's working on which. So build step on Yenya. I believe you've started on that as well. Did I get that correct? Yes, yes. So then the next one would be workflow basic steps. And so if we put you on workflow basic steps, Cynthia, would that be okay? So that that would be your second plugin that you work on. And if something isn't needed in the Git plugin, you apply it to workflow basic steps. Yeah, that's fine. Great. All right. So let me, let me get that into the notes so that we know who's got which assignment. Okay. And so, and this is a pattern that I would propose. We follow in general is when, when we run out of tasks on a certain plugin, we give you a second plugin. Now some of them, for example, SCM step is a good one that, well, let's pick this one workspace cleanup may have an awful lot of work to be done on it. Whereas Git, not much. And so how long each of you spends on a particular plugin will be widely variable. So don't, don't be dismayed if you feel like others are going faster. That's, that's not the point here. We want everyone to learn and we're confident that you'll add value as you go. Okay. So Cynthia, back to you. Go ahead. Oh, yes. Go ahead. Oh, sorry. On my own, I'm still seeing a SCM pipeline. I'm supposed to walk also on the build step. So are you not supposed to add this there? The document I was coming back from. Sorry. Could you, could you ask that again? Was that Lucy? Who was that? That's Aninye. Sorry. Oh, hello Aninye. Okay. Go ahead. Sorry. Ask your question again. Forgive my not catching it. Yes. On my doc, the document where you are at the moment, you're supposed to add that. Yes. Thank you. Yeah. Is it, are you okay if we put build step there for you? Because I have a suspicion that you're going to be done with SCM step kind of improvements pretty quickly. Or would you rather wait until you're done? You tell me what you would prefer. Great. All right. So let's do that. Let me get the link to that. And it is build step. Very good. All right. So excellent. Thanks. Okay. So Cynthia, back to you. Yeah. Also, I had a question. So are we meant to add online help also for the parameters? If yes. How do, like, how do we do that? Because I saw for arguments, we have to create a new HTML that matches the path with a Java folder. So I was not sure how to do that for the parameters. That is an excellent question. So I'm going to illustrate if it's okay for everyone. I want to illustrate what's behind your question because that's a question that I'm delighted you asked. And let's look at it. So if I look on the Jenkins documentation site in the pipeline steps reference, and a recording of this, this will be available if you need to refer to it later. So when I look at the pipeline steps reference, and let's look at the clean workspace plugin, WS, there it is, the workspace cleanup plugin. So when I look at this, this is where Cynthia's question is perfectly suited to it. Clean WS has very little description here. And the arguments, it's a common complaint from people, hey, I don't know what each of these arguments means. What do they clean? What do they, what do they do when they do it, etc. And what Cynthia observed is, hey, there's no file already existing to create this. Where do I put it? Cynthia, did I correctly describe your question? Oh, yeah. And so, so what has to be done is you find, you go into the plugin source code and find this keyword. And when you found that keyword, you create a help file, an HTML file to match that keyword in the, in the plugins resources source directory. So let's see how can I illustrate that probably best. Let's go to the, the git plugin. That'll let us see some examples of this where we've got in the source directory main resources. Notice that it's resources, not Java. And then in this Jenkins plugins git and under get step here, okay, this is the thing that describes the step named git. But the step named git has an argument change log. It has another argument credentials ID, another argument poll, and another argument URL. So the naming pattern is find the correct directory or make the correct directory is probably more likely, make the correct directory in source main resources to match the Java code that you're writing for, and then create in it a help dash and the argument name. So in our example, it was, it was clean. Hang on. What was it? It was clean. Seriously. I'm sorry. I'm having difficulty finding my window again. It was here. No, too many windows. So sorry. Okay. So it was, I'm sorry. I'm lost. Okay. So the arguments are here. Add them as help dash and then that word and oh, it was workspace cleanup. Here it is. Clean when aborted. So it would be help dash clean when aborted.html. And inside that, you would put text something like this text here. So a div to open it, a div to close it, and then a little bit of text to describe what you've learned about that particular argument. Cynthia, did that help at all? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It did. Thanks. Okay. Excellent question. Thank you very much for asking. Any other topics, Cynthia, that you'd like to highlight or things where, oh, there was something that was a challenge or got in the way? Yeah. So I say that something that was challenging is trying to understand what the arguments are trying to do. So I don't know if you could provide any tip on how we could understand the, what could help us to understand more what the arguments are doing. Very good. And so for me, I would think run the pipeline syntax generator yourself in the local Jenkins that you've got and look at what it offers, what it hints to you about what that argument is doing. The second would be use the plugin documentation if it exists. For instance, on the workspace cleanup plugin, I was quite impressed. It's got some really excellent documentation on the plugins page. And so that already tells many times then the other is make a guess. And if make a guess and explore doesn't work out, then ask a question. Ask questions in the Slack channel. Kristen, any advice from you in terms of is, are there other ways of exploring this that you might suggest or other things that would be more effective than what I've described? Right. These are really good suggestions. And also, I would almost say you could probably reach out on the main Gitter channel, the Gitter channel for Jenkins as well. Oh, yes. Ask the general community because there could be someone who is a type plugin maintainer or who uses it on a regular basis might be able to answer some questions as well. Because some of these plugins, we don't see them every day or we're not, maybe if you're not using them as well, there could be other people who would have some insight into what the parameters mean. Excellent. Thank you. Good suggestion. Yeah, the main Jenkins Gitter channel. Another might be the Jenkins users mailing list. The Gitter channel tends to be much faster response than a mailing list post. Listen, it's either fast or not at all. If you ask a question that people know the answer to, they'll answer immediately. If they don't know the answer, it may never get an answer. Right. So it's a good chance to ask and just know that there might not be anything else. But we'll try to get definitely like searching the regular documentation for the plugin. They probably, I would say about 99 times out of 100, the information's there, just not in the help file where it should be to help everybody else. Because, you know, again, like make it a little bit easier. Other people don't have to do the same level of digging that you're doing here. It's just to be able to use the steps. Right. And now the ultimate reference is the source code itself. If you read Java before, you're certainly welcome to use the source code. If you're not comfortable with Java, that's okay. That's the very last thing. And by then, we should have found another way to help you get the answer. Right. Yes. Anything else, Cynthia? All right. Should we move on to Lucy? Oh, Lucy's not here. Sorry, my mistake. So Sharon, I think you're next. Hello, everyone. Hi. So far, everything hasn't been bad, though I'm a bit behind. So I had problems with the installations, but I'm trying to sort them. So the major problem was with the docker, but I'd asked for way of consultation and told me that I can go ahead. But when I was stuck, I could search for solutions. Then I could find some comments below the Jenkins page, which some people had already sorted. So it has been helpful.  Is it Windows Home? Is it? I'm using Ubuntu Linux. Okay. All right. And how much memory do you have on your computer? It's four gigabytes, then 64 bits. Oh, good. Okay. All right. And is it 18.04 or 20.04 or a different one? 20. Okay. Good. All right. Very good. Okay. So Docker should be relatively straightforward to install there, but there were issues you encountered. Do you want to share some of those with us? So was it downloading that was a challenge? Was it that it failed to start? Tell us more. Okay. The issue was when I was running the pipeline on the Blue Ocean with Jenkins. So when I was running, the last command was failing, and it was something to do with Docker. So I had to restart. And then I had to restart, start again. And then, for example, when I could run the Docker machine, I could see that it is there. But at the same time, it's saying it is not a different machine is available. So that was the main issue. So the way I interpret what you said is you had Docker running well enough that you were inside the Jenkins tutorial using Docker to run the Jenkins tutorial. And there was a Docker related message inside the tutorial. So what that probably indicates is a bug in the tutorial. Not a bug anything that you could actually fix. Okay. That's good to know. So which tutorial were you running? Were you running the Node.js tutorial or the Maven tutorial or a Python tutorial? The Node.js tutorial. Okay. Good. And that one, good. So there's a real bug there. And if you'd be willing to submit a description of it, that would be great. If you're not comfortable submitting a description of the bug, I'm okay with that as well. But the issues or the GitHub site for the Jenkins.io pages would be a great place to have a bug report there that describes what you saw, how it failed. Because if you saw failure, others are very likely to see the same failure. Okay. Thank you for finding it. That's great. And my apologies. Those tutorials are, they're interestingly complicated, but because they're interestingly complicated, they tend to break on occasion. Okay. Thank you. All right. So let's see. I think we've had everyone that's available. Any other questions from any of the four of you on topics that you'd like to be sure we discuss? Questions from me. Okay. All right. And Kristen, any, so Kristen and I did a review yesterday of the documents that you've been creating of the documents created as part of the task list, right? And glad to see your progress. Glad to see progress for each of you. That's great. Keep going. I think we've probably got some surprises yet that will happen where you realize, oh, tried to do this thing and it didn't work. What do we do next? And on the bios and photos for the blog, I think I have what I need. I made a mistake. I didn't include the open graph image. And I've got to get that fixed. Actually, I've got to show it to you. Hang on. I really should show it to you because I'm proud of this. I think it's a lovely image. Where is it? Is this it? Yes. Okay. This is the page that I intend to show as the image when people click this on Twitter. Any objections from the four of you that we use this as a sort of an image cover? No, I love it. Okay. Now, danger, warning. I am not a designer. I don't know how to do good designs, et cetera. But so you're okay with that? No objections? It's wonderful. Yeah. Oh, I think my name, there is a, you forgot to add a Oh, dear. Okay. I misspelled. Oh, yeah. It's actually, you know, Dukonda. Oh, yes. I spelled it wrong.  I will fix that. I R A D A. Okay. I would, is there more misspelling? I R A D A. No, that's A should be U. I R A D U. I R A D U. A D U. Oh, yes. Yes. So I've misspelled it twice. There are two character errors. I can fix that. Yeah, it's fine. Well, thank you for catching it. I'd much rather fix it now instead of having the humiliation of publishing one more time this image that I failed on the first time I tried just a minute. So let me bring that up and let's let's fix it live because you just as well see it being fixed. That way, when I make a mistake, we can, we can find it quickly. Okay. So here is the page and let's see if I just search for Cynthia. Okay. Now I R A D U. Did I get that correct? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. I did. Very good. All right. Now I have to drag that just a little to make sure it's okay. Excellent. All right.  Very good. Anything else we need to discuss here before we end today? See, so you're all on the Slack channel, right? That I think we've got working reasonably well for you. And it feels to me like that's working better than having you do it in the Gitter channel. I'm comfortable with it. Kristen, I think you're comfortable with it. It seems to be working for Meg. Anyone, anyone not comfortable using Slack for communications? Great. Then we'll continue with that. All right. Next session will be next Monday, and it will be Monday morning. Thanks very much. Thank you. Thank you. Have a great weekend. Thank you. Thanks. Good weekend, everyone. Thank you very much. Thanks. You're


After a traffic stop Friday, two Bemidji people were charged with first degree controlled substance crimes after they were allegedly caught with 61 grams of meth. According to the criminal complaint, 23 year old Rice Dean Weiss faces additional charges because he was also found in possession of a firearm. 23 year old Beth Marie Rorick is charged with first degree possession of cocaine or methamphetamine. The criminal complaint says that a Bemidji police officer pulled over their vehicle after noticing it did not have license plate lights. The officer spoke with Weiss who had a felony warrants out for his arrest and noticed a handgun case in the back seat of the car. After detaining Weiss, the officer discovered a revolver in the handgun case that had been stolen from a Texas residence. The complaint states that Rorick was asked to step out of the vehicle and while doing so, her purse opened and the officer saw a large baggie that tested positive for methamphetamine. Court appearances for Weiss and Rorick have not yet been scheduled. If you've enjoyed this segment of Lakeland News please consider making a tax deductible contribution to Lakeland Public Television.


Hello everybody, Andrea Mayesca here with Dental L. So I'm actually just about to see patients in about actually 25 minutes. So I might have to cut the video short. So you might be wondering, how do I prepare for when I have patients come to my home office? So what I do, which I will actually show you guys around my webcam here. So I'm just gonna take that to just kind of show you guys around. So here we go. I don't know how long the cord is, but let's kind of manage. So can you guys see this okay? So this is the patient chair. This obviously stays here because I do have my mobile practice as well where I have my own chair. So this one obviously stays here. These are just to make the patient feel more comfortable. And I do put those in the laundry after every single patient. I'm seeing a four year old and a five year old. So that's why he is here. So we can count the teeth together. We can polish them. And my cord doesn't go far enough, you guys. So I might do another video later to show you guys what that's about. But behind you here, I have my air, water, the suction. I have the piezo, which I will not be using for kids, but I just have that out anyway. And then let's see, I have my tray. Oh, it looks like some of these out the door already. I have a toy box, laptop. Okay guys, I'm just gonna stop the video for one second to have somebody coming. Sorry guys, that was just Amazon. Anyway, oh, and while we're here, look in my cool light. How neat is that, eh, guys? Yeah, that is in my office. So if you guys can see, oh, sorry, it's starting to get blurry. I know this is not the best video, I apologize. But that is my tray set up here. I'll actually show you guys around my office right now.  I have my like cubicle areas for like odds and ends. I try to keep tiny. I have my like oral hygiene aids up here. I have one of my water. My iPad is there for them to watch Netflix. But actually, I'm gonna put that away because I decided to put Netflix on my computer. So that way it's just easier for them to see. There's my cool computer. So now you guys can see kind of where I sit when I do the videos. And here's my chair. So actually, let me go in the corner here. So this is what it looks like in the corner. So a little stool for somebody to sit in, a chair obviously, patients chair, and all the goodies. Okay, so I'm coming back here. Sorry guys, this is not the most organized video ever I apologize, but so what else do I do? I put Netflix on my computer. I used to have it on my iPad, but it just makes sense to put it on my computer because it's a bigger screen. So they have something else to listen to. So the kids have something in the background. I clean out everything actually in my hall. So I should actually do another video to show you guys that. I might just take a video of it with my cell phone or something. But I make the hall completely patient friendly. So I take away my coats, my husband's coats, my boots, shoes, all of that. So it's just sort of more inviting for patients to walk in. They don't actually sit there because I see like one patient at a time or a family. If a family comes in, they're normally in the room anyway. The dogs, I have four dogs. I keep them downstairs in the basement. They're perfectly fine doing that. I have a washroom too that my patients can use. I put clean towels in there. I do have a salt lamp in there too. Like just for some extra light, they can obviously turn on the light as well. I make sure it's clean, which is probably self-explanatory, but hey, what else do I do to prepare? I just kind of tidy up. I try to make it as, you know, home like as possible, but so they don't know that I just spent 20 minutes getting ready in the bathroom before they got there. Like I keep it clean, tidy, but obviously for patients to use. My home office, I keep it as clean and tidy as possible so that patients can come on in and they have room to sit and do all that. I talked about Netflix. I have my laptop over there with my charting with the schedule. I do have Square. I'll show you guys that. So if patients wanna pay by credit card or interact, debit, this is amazing. It just makes it so much easier. I can leave the link for you guys on the bottom there. If you use the link that I provide you, if you need this for your own business or something, you can get actually free transactions for a couple months. I forget exactly how long but I can do that for you. What else do I do? That's kind of it you guys. I have everything kind of set up where I give them like toothbrushes and everything but I can show you guys that in another video too. So I might do that with my laptop actually. So that way I can carry it around and show you guys around. So again, sorry for this unorganized video but you know what, this is real life. I'm not a YouTube star where I spend half an hour editing an hour's worth of video I don't do that. I don't edit as you guys probably know. So this is it. Thank you guys so much for watching. Let me know though if you have any questions and I'll talk to you guys soon. My patience should be here any minute. It's now 11.41. Thank you guys so much for watching and I'll talk to you soon. Bye.