2024 wedge here which means a Pac deer duel of FA cup, AFCON, and of course Premier League action. Beat the January blues and what every game with the atmosphere it deserves. Down at your local Green King Sports pub. Don't settle for a dodgy stream if it's on the telly, it's on at your local Green King across the huge HD screens. Ac rydych chi'n dweud y Gryngor Sportap, wrth ddweud 10% o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r llwyddo diwrnod yn ysgol. Ergynnu'n gwybod i'r ddweud o'r ddechrau ei ddweud, ac mae'r ddweud o ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud hwn yn ysgolodd. Felly dyma i'r ddweud o'u ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud o'r ddweud. Hello, welcome to the 1878 FM podcast myself, Perth. And we are delighted to say we are joined by Sam Avery, Comedian. Extraordinae, Evertonian can count to 10 quite comfortably, which is a big, big plus. So Sam, how are you? I'm good, thanks. I'm just looking out the window, looking at the snow that's trying to come down.  It's when snow's trying though, and it's just trying. That was the old thing here, like your mum would say. It's trying. It's trying to snow. What does that mean? It's trying to snow. What's the other one was? Did anyone say it's too cold to snow? Yeah. Oh, that was so, but yeah. As if like Norway or you know, Antares or whatever, where it's like proper ridiculous weather. So are we not a fan of snow then, Sam? No, I used to be, and I've got kids now, so I should still be, but I'm really not. Last time it snowed, didn't it about six weeks ago, and we didn't have a sledge. So I grabbed the top of the big Tupperware box that we keep their underpants in. Yeah. And we went down to what's it called, Allerton Towers, and we jumped down that hill. It really wasn't fit for purpose. No. First wheel problems, that feels like it. That's real first wheel. No darling, where's the sled? Yeah, but he could have got a sled. You can get that if you can. I mean, I'm surprised they're not in the middle isle of Aldi. I'm sure they are. But that is one of those things, isn't it? Like when something happens and you don't have the required thing for it. Not prepared. And why haven't I got one of them?  And we never snow. 98 degrees here one year, and it's why I've got it. You know that I say in families you do have one of everything. Fair play to you. And we'll be prepared. They're prepared. No, no. No, I'm not prepared. I'm not prepared for this podcast, so we'll see all this. That's the beauty of this podcast, mate. That's not a requirement. I feel at home is what I'm saying. That's the tall going. You're on the last leg aren't you of your tour now? Yeah, I've got five dates left. So I did Liverpool last year, but I did Ormsgate on last Friday. And it was really interesting actually because loads of people. I went to school in Magull. Loads of people from Magull from my old school came who literally have not seen in 30 years.  I'll be honest, Sam. I'm hoping you didn't look the same with the girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I had much longer hair. Yeah, I thought I'd just guessed that.  But it is, it is that thing. It was really nice that they came to see the teacher anyway. It was. Finally given the homework. So how's it been? How's it been? It's been great. It's been really good, thanks. Yeah, it's been great. It's been, I reckon it's the best show I've done. But I'm also looking forward to finishing it so I can then start writing the next one. Cos you get this weird, there's like a sweet spot where the show's firing on all cylinders and then you start to get a little bit bored of it. So it's a good time to put it to bed and start writing the next one. So I'm doing Leeds this Saturday and I'm filming it. I'm getting a film to that logo up on. Live at the Apollo vibes, that. There it is, innit? Has he not contacted you? Has he not given you the all, hello, Sam? Have you not been invited? I'm sure it'll happen to you mate. It's not what it will. Right, you're laughing. This can only help. This is it. This or Channel 5. It'll be Michael Macintosh or Channel 5. We've gone big, Sam, cos we now have an advert placed within David Siemens podcast. So we are going places. That sounds like a euphemism. That's why it's my coffee nearly came up the month. That's what he said. The best thing is if anyone has listened to the... Cos I'm sure everyone listened to this David Siemens podcast, right? Wouldn't you? With his lovely ice skating. Is she an ice skater? Is Mrs... Is she on her? Is she Frankie? No, no. It's not Frankie, is it? Frankie's with Wayne Bridge. Was it too Frankie? Believe it or not, pal. The two female Frankies in the world. Oh my God. But about 33 minutes in. I think she's from Manchester. I don't know. I don't watch this stuff or whatever. 37 minutes in or something. You hear and have it with milk. Ned's from milk and cats. Well, that was the truth. That happened on the podcast the other week. Imagine going from listening to David Siemens or anything. Swinging Frankie around. Which is literally how they met to be fair. He was thrown around everywhere. And the next minute... And that carried on apparently. Next minute you're hearing Ned talking about milk and cats. So that's where we are. That's an interesting Venn diagram, isn't it? Between the David Siemens aficionados. There you go. On this podcast then. If you do suddenly feel like there is a bump and loads of people are coming in with big tashes and really weird gloves. Gloves on. Then you know what's happening. That's where they've come on. An ice skate booth. Ice skate booth. That's a bit. Many goalkeepers in. Give me a cheer. I had a mate over from Australia last week. And he's a red nose. I'm not going to name check him. But he moved to Australia about seven years ago. And he started playing. What do they call it? Veterans football. Oh yeah. And he used to play centre half. You know as you get older you always drop back a position. And he said also drop back. I went what in goal? He went get him in goal now. And he said he was on the bus. And he was chatting to some fellow about goalkeeping. And this fellow on the bus said oh yeah. I'm going to give him a ring. So he rings this number. Turns out it's the goalkeeper for Perth Glory. Who's just retired. Nice. And this fellow says I had to get me number. He said also fell on the bus gave it to me. Anyway. He now goes to this guy's house once a week. And gets goalkeeping training. I'm not being funny. Your mate's taking it very serious isn't he? Taking up goalkeeper coaching. For the veterans. Exactly. Fair play. I like that. Well you know what? I like that. I like his commitment to it. That he's moving further back in the team. And he's gone. I need a little bit of coaching here. And he's gone to Perth Glory. It's a different level. I remember missing a penalty in the pits.  That's not good Sam. It was a bad penalty. Yeah. It must have been to be fair. I'm going to Wikipedia. Danny Milisavitch is the goalkeeping coach at Perth Glory. He was also the coach of the Australian women's team. I finished second in the Austrian Cup. I don't think he was in the Austrian Cup. I know Australia have gone into your vision now. I don't think they've gone into the Austrian Cup. In the Australian Cup. Big Danny. Big Danny. Big Danny gives his number to people who travel on buses. People turn up and have goalkeeper coaching. It's the Australian Gary. He's got a big pair of gloves with his number on. Give these out. Give these out. Any bet. I'm looking for a better word. Ned, I don't know whether you know this. Sam, Ned plays in a vet league on a Thursday. It's not supposed to be. It's just basically walking football but Ned runs. Therefore Ned looks like Kylian and Bapae. Playing with, if you remember the father Ted episode with the priest who were all 96. That is the level that Ned plays at but Ned's prince. Ned is a cheat code for that to be fair.  That's it. I think it's good for the soul. Absolutely. Without a shadow. It would have been a lovely little circle to complete it. Dave Vitty would have been with the Dancing on Ice. David Seaman, Frankie getting thrown all over the gaff. Cos of course. I don't know whether I think Dave Vitty was Frankie's partner on Dancing on Ice. Remember Dave. Remember Dave done the Al Pitillas. The three of them are back together. Would you feel a bit wounded? Strictly there's loads of couples that come together. If you're one of those people and you don't end up with a new missus. I think Dave was at the missus. He wasn't in between missus as he often says. That's normally... It's not really Dancing on Ice where that happened. Don't you normally go into Strictly with a missus and come out the other end with a new missus? Absolutely. That's all lawsuits cos that's going on apparently. He was Strictly at the moment. My missus did Strictly like a charity verse to Strictly. She was telling me about this dance teacher she had there partner. She didn't get him off a bus did she? No, she didn't get him off a bus. That was a different incident which I'd rather not talk about. No, no, no. It was a 86 bus that's all I'm going to say. Okay. I hope it was a driver. She kept saying this guy, he's dead old. He's much older. In my head I thought she's just throwing me off the centre. He's going to be some Greek god when we get there. Absolutely, yeah. No, but she was telling the truth he was a very old man. Right, could he move? He was alright, yeah, for an older man. Apparently, like boring dancing if you're an older man is a great way of, you know... Staying fit, isn't it? Oh, I was thinking I'd keep fit, but yeah, absolutely. Men don't retire and then die. They just don't do any hobbies, do they? Whereas if you leave learning to dance. Yeah. It's why Bruce Forsythe lives as long as he did. Absolutely. The price was right every Saturday night. The fella off strictly Lenny, I think. Len, Len. He had a great one. He had a guy who was still going. He went over to the states. And why do you think Rod Stewart's still knocking him out? Kids out at 80? I was really, really wondering what you were talking about. No, no, no, no, no. Rod, Rod, had all sorts of bits. Still impregnate. He has a side-rod, doesn't he? I'll be honest. He's all identical. They just want. He's one size fit. Cloning machines would make that match. And the 10% of his age, that's what he works on. But that's... Yeah. Probably a little bit more, I think. Maybe that's libelous. Yeah. Maybe 20% something like that. He knows what he likes. Like being at the caprio, isn't it? The caprio. The start of the day. Crack and start. Ex-G. Ex-G of the caprio. Anyone he's with now had to be born after Titanic. Yeah. That's the ex-giver. And I don't mean 1912. Yeah, cos I mean that. Cos 25 years after Titanic, that's the ex-giver. That's the ex-giver of the caprio. It's not bad. It's not bad. He loves it, don't he? He does love the youngs, don't he? The fair play. The youngs. Legal, but young, you know? He does. Loves Ashley. Oh, my God. No domain. It's all good. No helicopters around this house. No, my God. Lots of stuff going on there. Fair play. Let's come back to the random bit in a bit. Oh, is that the random bit? Well, I don't know. It started off, you're just asking Sam how we was. Ned's being involved. David, Seym, and Frankie didn't think they were in this today. We're recording this now. I don't know if Ned's press record. Let's move on to a slightly bit of depressing stuff for a bit. Sam, which is evident, of course. Although you can look at it both ways here. We can look at it and choose 2024 Premier League evident. Which are unbeaten at time of recording. Tremendous. Despite playing two sides in the top four in that time, out of the three games. But just overall, Sam, where we're obviously February at the moment, and Everton are involved because of the points deduction in the relegation battle, but real-time Everton, without points deductions, would have us mid-table and not too far away from the European play. It's a weird season, isn't it? Because you know that while this appeal is going on, and whether we get points back or not, you're looking thinking we should all be more relaxed than what we are, yet we are heavily involved in the relegation fight. It's weird, innit? It's really weird. I feel like it's like multiple personality syndrome as an Everton fan, because there's this battle going on internally when I'm watching us, when I'm looking at the league table, thinking on paper on results we should be 11th. And comfortable. And we're feeling really good about life, that John Deish has taken this utterly moribund club and turned it into something that's just a bit boring. It's a massive improvement. That's not even a criticism. I think he's doing a great job. Of course, he's got areas he can improve on, but he's done a great job with his hands tied behind his back. But then the other side of it is that the points deduction means that that reality is not the case. So now we're looking at this situation after those four victories on the bounce just after the deduction. It felt like, well, we all felt kind of like invincible, didn't we? We were like, we're just going to keep moving up the table and keep taking points of office. We'll keep winning and there's this great, and then obviously that's stopped. And it's a good job we got those when we did, because otherwise we will be in real hot water. But then the third sort of personality is, well, what if some of the points come back or all of them come back or what if more get taken off? There's this dead element of unknown, and it totally ruins the enjoyment of watching football, because there's other stuff going on. There's not part of being a football fan or watching a football team. It's really depressing. So I'm constantly trying to just compartmentalise and the game on Saturday I was just thinking, I just want to enjoy the match. I just want to watch the match and just enjoy the match. Because it was too infrow, it was equalising and then getting another goal. And then the goal at the end was just joyful. But both goals going to VAR, so even that's taking off. So as a football fan, you're thinking, where is the joy? Where is the joy? The simple joy of scoring a goal, which doesn't matter how many teams do, when you score a goal, the minute the ball is to the net, the back of the net, you're all hugging strange. It's just up there waiting for five minutes. So I don't know, I feel demoralised, but weirdly not as demoralised as I have felt over the past three or four years. It is weird, because it's almost like a state of confusion at the moment. Like Sam just said, we've got the points thing going on. So the lead table, it's great when I look at a different lead table. They've understat the adjuster's table where everything should be. It's got everything on 29 points and this, that, and then you go, that's actually what we're doing.  Then there's the takeover stuff. And then all, as well like Sam just said, apart from all that, when you actually sit in your seat at the match, you're kind of like on Saturday. I was waiting, the minute I was seeing, I was like, don't medder in. I was thinking, that must count because it's come back to me and he said, I did it in. So you celebrate and then you see the referee giving it all this, so it's like, what's happening? It's going on and on and on. And then the second goal, you just lose it because I'm thinking there's no way they can look at that because I saw it come off the defender's head. And yet they're still saying, that's what they've took unless you score a dip in 30 yard volley with no one there yet. Even that's gone at the moment, innit? No, it's weird like Sam was saying. It feels like we're in like a football simulator rather than a real one. Everything that happens doesn't feel quite real. You look at the table and you go, yeah, but that's not real, we've got 29 points. But you haven't got 29 points. There's almost like a little voice in my head saying, no, we're going to get 10 points back. Not believing it or such, but it's just there going, we're actually on 29 points and again as Sam said, you're doing a good job on one hand, but on the other hand, you look at the table and go, that's the reality. And we said loads of times, when we got the 10 points taken off us and then we appealed straight away, what mentally would that have done if we hadn't had the 10 points taken off us and Luton were looking up and seeing this and it was them who were dreaming of us losing 10 points rather than us dreaming of putting 10 points back. The mental side of Luton having something to chase, I think has aided them. I always say this, it's like if you've got something to chase in the league, if a team above you has 3 points, that's something to get over first, at your first challenge. But when you look and see a team 10, you just go there and like, you might get that. Look like Sheffield tonight at the moment, they must be, every time they lose, they must be like dying, just going, look how far away the 10 points from Luton, I think it is, fall from bottom. You need something to catch and I think that that's where we are, is really give everybody else a boost and you just can't sort of quantify that and that's, people will dismiss that, but that's a real thing. But the altered the conditions, didn't they? The minute they took the 10 points, I mean Samard, I know it's hard because we're Evertonians, but you know this like taking the points straight away, do you think it should have been, listen, you have got this points deduction hanging over you? As in, when you've appealed, if that appeal isn't successful, you lose 10 points basically. Now, like Pets just said, right now we'd be sat there going, they've just done the appeal, but we'd be on 29 points and we'd be waiting for the outcome now. Is it worse to then drop into that position? Or, would it have been better for Everton's you think to have kept the points up to now because that may well, like Pets just said, may well have affected our Luton. Luck that a day might not have won as many games and we would have played with a little bit more freedom, I think, in some of the games where we have more. Don't you think it makes any difference? No, I think it does make massive differences but it's really difficult to quantify what those differences are because it's almost like the space-time continuum has been affected, isn't it? It's like the buzzerfly affected what, one thing affecting another. I think that the appeal process should be complete before any points are removed and that should be just a blanket rule for everyone in any case because otherwise, if they're taken away and then re-instated that's farcical because it's given Luton that kind of boost that thing to climb for like Pets was talking about. If we do get our points back Luton have climbed the table, we'll then leapfrog a bunch of teams and then the teams just above Luton could quite rightly say well had Everton not taken those points off them then Luton wouldn't have been able to Palace might drop down, Brentford all the other teams that are down there. The idea of the points deduction affecting us, I mean one, certainly there's like a freedom that we've not played in and I think both you've brought quite a lot of sounds on the channel and I totally agree with it. Some of the misses that we've made, some of these ex-geast stats that we've got and goals that we probably should have scored perhaps that pressure has got to the players. I mean there's also an argument to be made that we don't have a very good strike force on an attack on the team which I think you can't understand that as well. A couple of those goals go in, six points more in a different state of mind. The other thing is that I think if the the points deduction, those four victories that we've talked about afterwards I do feel like that was like a the points deduction was like a fill-nevel tackle on steroids wasn't it, for a short time and it just galted that way of galvanising has been overused but it did bring it certainly made the fan base angry and I think probably within the camp the players that seem to be like it gave them an extra 5-10% in those games we're all winnable games but who knows what would have happened so we might be on 29 points we might not we might be on 23 points with a 10 point deduction it's it's a really good point and that's why when you hear people talking about like possible scenarios of everything could get sued by clubs for this and for that and you're just like we've just had a 5 minute conversation about all those different scenarios it's impossible isn't it to say because this happened and that happened that meant the team got relegated there's so many different factors of how it all plays out we are where we are and it could affect us negatively at the end of the day if we get some points back I think we're at that point now we were like if we get some back rather than going no we demand 10 points but at the end of it all and we just want something back almost to justify what we've been saying for the last couple of months I think you're right as well there's such confusion around the club though Sam because obviously as well as this appeal and then there's this charge in the bleeding distance as well but also with that this takeover stuff as well and it just seems to me I don't know what your take on it is Sam but the Premier League are just literally dangling us they took the points they're keeping quiet about the likes of Man City and Chelsea what's happening to them but this takeover as well not making a decision on this takeover whether we are going to be grateful or whether we think they're terrible for us the fact that this should have been concluded or was expected really to be concluded early December and we're now mid well we're in early February then and we still don't know when that decision is going to be if these people are right for everything, bin them if you're the Premier League, bin it but it just feels to me like they're just keeping us on two fronts just dangling without a conclusion and I think that's massively affecting the football club as well which plays into these results as well because I haven't won a game of football since December the 16th in the Premier League at Burnley so I mean what do you take on that in terms of like the takeover and stuff well it's similar to looking at how the team's doing and being able to assess it in that I don't know where to direct my anger because there are about eight different points different fronts I'm fighting this anger war on about nine fronts because I've got huge anger with the current current owners and previous boards obviously and I think a lot of other fans from other teams don't appreciate how angry the fans still are and where and demonstrated against so that when we're complaining about the situation we're not just complaining about the Premier League taking the 10 points up or complaining about the way the club's being ranked well you could argue for like the last 40-50 years it's just you know you go back through like ever in the history and you just think well there was a moment there where we could have elevated and become more consistent never built so there's an anger there there's an anger you know with the Premier League obviously there's an anger with little dicky masters as you guys have quite rightly labelled him because he's an absolute muppas there's an anger at the lack of transparency with all of that process there's an anger towards the lack of movements on Man City and Chelsea there's an anger towards the way the Newcastle takeover was done because although that shouldn't affect me as an evident fan I'm annoyed because there seems to be blocks in the way of these new owners coming in but there's also an anger towards these new owners who aren't even in yet because you look at some of the things that he's done and you just think what are we getting ourselves into here? We're jumping out with a frying pan and into like another frying pan? Yeah definitely I feel like I don't have enough emotion and what I used to love about being a football fan being an evident fan I always say when an evident fan faces the formers in a football fan second is pouring over all the different parts of the club the youth team that has saved League when that was the thing that was coming through the ranks I don't have the mental capacity I don't have the bandwidth for it because there's so much other nonsense going on around the club and around that situation that I'm just I'm just I'm just spent I'm the same I'm absolutely the same as your mate It wears you out doesn't it? It wears you down to the point thinking of what's the point of getting invested in other parts of football or finding joy finding joy in other parts of football because the joy will never surpass the anger that you feel right now we're all carrying loads of anger How many shows do we do about bleeding finances? I couldn't care less I want to know about the team you know what we're chasing this fella in Europe he's passed these scores and all of that and yeah we sat there going oh what's our PSR for this and oh what did we spend four years ago it's a load of bollocks now and then when you do throw VR into it and all that you do start going my god what is happening here because we do need we need some close it but we need we need decisions very quickly I think close is the right word because like I have noticed personally I think other people may have noticed I'm actually a lot calmer then even though we're in a bad situation but since the board has gone that last board the anger that it produced in me and how it affected how I watched everything and how I viewed some of the plays and how I spoke about some of the plays was there for everyone to see because that was anger that I was carrying at these people that I perceived as basically destroying our football club you know it okay it hasn't been great for years as you said but it's been going along with it's own thing but it was never like if it was in a relegation battle it was because we didn't have money and we had poor players it wasn't because of incompetence and really bad mismanagements at every level and swapping managers I mean as a football club and as fans of our football club we've seen pretty much a massive continuity in managers for years haven't we not swapping and changing every year like other clubs are doing that so I think there's been a general release in myself anyway but it's still not there because those people haven't been replaced and we're still just bobbing along while we are literally in the biggest storm this club's ever faced so it'd be nice if we could just parachute some people onto the boat to just stare us out of it because it's not going to take not just about the Premier League making a decision it's about people in charge getting older the situation as well and going out of this situation and that's just not there at the moment there is grim and it needs something you just touched on it before Sam obviously going you know I thought the game last week against Spears I thought Evan did alright I thought it was decent and if you're going to draw 2-2 then you want to be the team with that late injury time because at least you leave the ground thinking we've got something out of that even though it's another home game Evan's home form shock on the season 3 and we're in February but we go to City this week and this is probably the toughest game we could have right now isn't it but in some respects get it out the way is that how we're looking at it and just see what happens yeah it's like a free hit isn't it I mean it kind of always is for us really but you go there and you're not expecting anything and a point would be but we've got a point there so was that last season on the season before into Marey Grayscore? It was only last season about 13 and a half months ago it was New Year's Eve wasn't it New Year's Eve right so I was lying on my bed next to my wife listening to it on the radio and not on what was going on no no no Sam I don't think Evan really put me in that mood no no She was on her phone looking for dance coaches and Sam was looking for sleds we were one little down maybe in the goal went in and I was still half asleep and the goal went in and I just jumped up and I think she thought it was having a heart attack because I just went like that that was the nice memory but that was a great result on the lampards and you're like was it that manager or was it this manager or yeah so I think you just got to go to the city and they've really hit form having the full phone looks unstoppable at the moment so I don't know how that will play out but I think at least that 2-2 draw against Tottenham a team we were doing quite well someone had to go and me felt like being quite exuberant at the end of the game I said well we're 17th therefore it was a 95th minute equaliser c'mon that's when you celebrate because like we said the joy is getting sucked out of football if you can find some kind of way to enjoy it that's really important so yeah I mean I don't hold up much effort for the city game but we'll see what happens it is that isn't it Pad you're right in games off because it's a game of 40 and Everton proved on the lampard that if you go there and things go your way and you defend well you know we went behind midway through the first half and we just stayed in the game had one of those days where he pulls a weldie out the fire and we end up getting a great result out of it but Saturday will be tough for the simple reason that Luton have got chef united at home that's it isn't it and you'd expect them to win so we could be kind of like 4 points to drift on Saturday no we're not though are we because we keep on looking at Luton and Forrest are right there as well so we are literally right there No Forrest are next to us I'll be honest with you right I'm not even looking at Luton I think Forrest are the ones they're getting the points deduction and they're right next to us as well I honestly think people Luton are almost like a redheading in this whole situation now because I think it's not I'm not saying they'll get out of it but what I'm saying is sometimes you can fixate on a team and you don't actually notice that that are other teams really close No I'm noticing some Forrest and Palace and Forrest are right there so Newcastle have just started to it I don't think Newcastle are going to go down No but they're at Forrest and Brentford go to Wolves Wolves are absolutely flying I think it's just one of that and again that goes back to what Sam was saying before it's really hard to enjoy football when you're having to look out for other teams results like you go out it's like the last couple of seasons I've been made so much worse by you'll have a bad result on a Saturday and you think you can cheer out on a Sunday and then you see who's playing for other teams I don't want to but I know I'll be looking at my phone every five seconds to see what their result is Well we've got Saturday obviously we're early so our game's done by half two isn't it Burnley go to Anfield so you'd expect Liverpool to win that Sheffield United go to Luton and expect Luton to win that and Forrest are at home to Newcastle which you know Newcastle need a win early to keep that and Brentford go to Wolff's and then on Monday night Palace of our own to Chelsea I mean Crystal Palace have got 24 points don't score goals Ezzy and Elise out for a while the best two players this is the I said on me after my stuff last week next week might be a dark afternoon that we just all have to go right that's out the way now and then we start to try to claw it back and who knows by the time we play Palace we might have some points back and then if we were to beat Palace at home which we have to really Well as Sam said there it's Man City and they've gone they're in that zone now and they could go top of the league but I was walking down the road yesterday walking the dog and some our fella just literally stopped me and went I bet you would beat them and hand a title to those bastards so you know who knows I don't even know the fella Sean Dice is good away from home he's got a decent record That would have been strange and given that he was a Liverpool family you've said that I don't know I just thought yeah I don't know there is that sort of thing amongst us but the way you said it was the latest but if you can't even say joy out the fact the hypothetical equation that we may beat Man City at the Etihad you can't even say joy out of that fictional future that probably won't happen anyway he's still annoyed about that you've just got to get on board it was just a way We might beat City and I barely might go to Amfield I didn't even know him and he was a doglet my doglet he just walked over to him and started and he just looked at me and said I bet we beat dog and we hand a title to those bastards you've given me no indication that you know who I am and the next minute you're basically a Nostradamus and you're fuming over it and he's fuming in February there's still weeks to go what are you fuming this early for no title's ever been handed out in February Mr Eamon Borrable, yeah, yeah, yeah well we'll see, we'll see it's a tough game but when we reconvene next week I'm looking forward to Ben Goffrey versus Harland well who isn't there's something joyful about a Ben Goffrey sliding tackle now isn't it and I think his sort of development lack of developments at Everton does that just play into like a wider bit of the club we sign these promising young players sometimes for quite a lot of money because Goffrey was like 20 million and then five years later they are if anything slightly worse all the same nobody ever seems to develop but that is I think that's indicative of what's gone on Sam and that's one thing that has got to change now when we bring these players in they've got to come out to the side better players with more money I mean we've done it, they like to have a brand to it obviously you look like you're going to be a top player anyway but you have to get those kids in and you have to develop them and when you do that's where you come out to the side but let's see what happens anyway that's enough there was a lot of Everton but there was a lot to get through and we've got through it felt like Sam had been in some kind of coma and we've just woken up I'm metaphorical and we've had to bring him up to speed even though just because he hasn't been on the podcast for a while and I'm sure he knows it's like you've been on tour we have to tell you what's been going on Sam have you heard the news from Goodison? it's like you were Charlton Heston and you've just found a massive statue of Michele in the sand and you go nooo you damn bastards you did it I wanted to because last time when Sam was on it last time a lot happened I wanted to just get Sam's take on where he is right now he's sold us some we've had some quite revealing stuff today you should have long air for one I don't believe that I need proof of that a nice picture just staying on the depressing thing I've seen this with the long hair go on go on just sticking on the depressing thing because Evan can do that to you sometimes I've just seen a story this morning most depressing town in Britain named and it's a five hour drive from London it's not at Homsgate no it's at Homsgate the most depressing town in Britain has been named after a public vote and it's a place many London has flocked flocked to every summer for a seaside break it's a seaside town in Cornwall where the average house price is 395,000 has been named the most depressing place place to live it's Falmouth it's clinched it due to it being deemed as bland, boring soul destroying mediocrity with a gaping cultural void that's quite a lot of things to hit it with isn't it did it have all those things before the people from London came are interesting it might have done but local people just thought but local people can't afford to live in these places anymore can they if you're up on your if you're up on your Cornwall news you'll be aware you'll be aware that a lot of people I get a letter on my phone cultural void bad enough but a gaping a gaping one is a me the Devon massive just bulls their tits off at them absolutely what's the most depressing place you've been to well I haven't been to Falmouth but the pictures I've seen doesn't look that depressing I'll be honest that's where we holidayed when I was a small child around those areas not Falmouth when you part of the did you make the gaping hole bigger the joy left when I found when I found planes the joy was to rip the way the joy got on a plane but if you live in Cornwall's like a mesh isn't it it's a place of the rich from London go there and buy up all the homes but half the time there's no one there and people who live there can't afford to live there so you can understand why there's a gaping hole the gaping hole is all the fucking tories less of the F-bombs I mean a maths exactly but a maths in living where it's been named depressing would you have to have a hard look at yourself you would wouldn't you is it like Taylor Swift is it me am the problem but all the beaches and stuff they all look lovely there don't they it's all like pitchy risk why is it the most depressing surely like concrete jungles are more depressing it'd be great if you could hack into the zoom meeting that's going on for Falmouth County Council right now we're having this complete kind of like evaluation of how this has happened saying it's a gaping hole we've got to make it we've got a little we've got two posters we've got a guy who sells knock-off DVDs in the pub what more do you want add a leg of lamb from the butchers meet and batteries to get it in the same bag just in the bag I mean Sam you've been round the country on so you must know where all the gaping holes are I leave the gaping holes I'm like a meteor that just explodes and when I leave it gets listed on things like this the worst place I've been to and I've said this when I was there so this is not like I'm slagging a mock bear although I am because they won't be watching this well who knows a lot of them listen to the David Sheehan podcast of their pub welcome over they ice skating latest so it's where? Swindon Swindon and so I mean it's a bit hack but if you're a comedian on stage it's kind of an easy laugh at some point in the night to just make a little jive about a nearby place and I try not to do that because it's a little bit easy but in Swindon the place that's like off if you want a laugh is Swindon because there's no there's no rivalry they have a rivalry with themselves it's just so grim it's really bad for Swindon and Swindon isn't that the whole M4 corridor sort of like slaw and Swindon and all those places I feel like if you got on stage in Springfield you'd start having a go at Shelbyville Sam I've got a gig coming up in Springfield actually there you go would anyone want to take the title of the most depressing sign or do you think that's a title a form of want to keep hold of is anyone going we want that next year there's a lot of places in the UK in 2024 that are fighting it out for that title you know you only have to say it on the news and they show somebody's shopping town centre and they're still bordered up JJB sport let's go back just let's stick with Falmouth because that is the undisputed champion at the minute what culturally could they put there that would fill that gaping hole fountain a fountain you know one of them ones where you can throw pennies in that gets things started there is one of them and maybe put some lead light in it showing the night it looks I think they need to tempt people in with the idea of something that's coming but never turns up so like no lead ones has missed the blobby world or something say that that's a real thing now once you make a big deal you get on BBC Northwest BBC South I'm just going from my cultural reference I'm not a traveller like Sam what Sam is a traveller very enough I mean there's a lot of stuff flying around on here today he had long hair now he's a traveller and he listens to everything laying on the bed with his missus and he listens there's a lot going on I'm going to show you my cultural hole maybe maybe just announce that something's coming and never live up to the promise but that just gets people in a monorail a monorail coming soon a monorail it looks like a lovely place apparently it's depressing okay we'll move on it's got a lighthouse that looks like a concrete lighthouse well that's the ranch maybe just paint the lighthouse that's my question you've only got a question in the source is it the rival town is it like the native people just trying to drive property places down so more well it was a poll by I live here and a lot of people who live in Falmouth because it's owned by property people in London do you think it was like the next town there's a chance Falmouth might be the bleeding King of Cormor life for all we know life for places dance let's take over this poll not like I ask my fans what we seem to do very much like rage against the machine back in the X-factor days let's make sure we win it they've had a poll like that they've got a delight in the seeds on in the park because you did sound exactly like it I honestly thought I just got off there mate there you go I've just bit on a phone call can you write the next England song be deal and skinner and act the door over there or apparently the fella off bake off and some other fella mau presenting fantasy football nowadays but anyway sorry go back to go back to where you were fantasy football on skies actually quite funny it was on last night I watched seven minutes this is your issue you watched seven minutes of programs it's not be deal or skinner but you're thinking about a time in a place I've just watched I've just watched what's the baldy fella's name out of the fashion on all that out of the fashion not the fashion the other kid who don't bake off as well I forgot his name the award winning actor who's recently spotted in Wonker and such film him yeah what's his name George Dawes Matt Lucas Matt Lucas staring no Sam yeah but anyway he's not I've watched I think it's alright anyway because they did a skit on it and Ned was in the skit but what if the next time we've got a chance to knock these off they've got everything these places they've got a Thorntons so their cultural gap has actually been filled they're actually good they've got like a Thorntons on the high street they've probably got 302 and Vodafone they've got costa there costa's everywhere they might actually have not only costa but they might have a starbucks as well but it's a drive through you get your track there and you drive through if you can get underneath the barrier and I think it might be the next time that's trying to have them on maybe it is well there's another story that was a story we just made all that up when they went away passengers before they board flights so Finnair passengers will be asked to step on the scales at the party Finnair not Finnair cos Finnair would make sense if they wanted to go away I thought you said Finnair I thought this was a deceiving plan to find out who was fit enough to go to war Finnair won away their passengers at the gate that's why I thought they were Finnair so that they get they can balance the plane better allegedly New Zealand there there's 10,000 passengers flying in New Zealand there done this last year and South Korea's largest airline Korean Air have already done it every passenger can increase safety and cut the environmental harm caused by each flight airlines used assumed mass estimating the total weight of passengers by using set figures if you're overweight then will they give you less food on the plane this is the thing how are we feeling about this if they say just do your favourite step on the scales are we okay with it? there are lots and lots of jokes I can make about this but I won't no don't that just mean in general generally if you're doing something to make me safer in the air then I'm all for it I mean they already scan you and can see your bollock out I mean that's a blag for the start oh we've got a look at you naked cause you have me you've got these things what airlines do you go on? bollock out here the stem scanner machines they can see everything but it's not photos no it is it's not you know what it's like it's like the baby 4D photo where you can see the babies so everything now it's basically a photo and do you think there's a category on a well-known site for this? Ned told me on porno it's this the latest security cameras that niche it's very niche it's one of the few neat things Ned tells me these screens on porno what are we thinking? not at all no not anymore I've lost a stone since Christmas so I'm all for this most of the time in the year I'd be like I'm already stressed I don't need to be thinking cause what would you do would you have to like predict your weight and then you check you weren't lying when you go bungee jumping and you say how much do you weigh and you go well I'm not going to lie about this cause this could cause death they're just saying a tea towel like it appears that they do on your legs I'm saying I'm 15s though how do they announce it do they have a guy on a mic going on and it is Brenda she's 15 stone get on the back the row of shame the row of shame a bingo calle when I was in Florida when I was in not in Aquaticer the ad literally one of the rides you have to get on the scales or you can't go on it I was ok I was standing on my tip toes I was fine but you go to it and the scales there and obviously some Americans are a bit larger than others chunky faties most of them a bit larger but a few of them were turned away they don't seem any shame in it though but I'd be a bit like that's how we are brought up we do have a culture in this it's not the same in America it's your mum your mum has no issue mine certainly doesn't go on you need to lose some weight my mum asks me every week am I still running I'm not just going to stop unless I fall down at ill of course but she goes you still running because you need to not like I need to you look terrible you were dead you were overweight so you need to keep it up otherwise I'm kicking you out of the family so if we got any have we got any issue with being weighed before we get on the plane no you close more delays do you have to take your pants off well I mean apparently if you go on the scanner side take your clothes off those chippendale keks with the velcro down the side that would be good that would be a quick way to do it wouldn't it that would be a quick way to do it what would you call pop a pants or was that something else that's what you were watching sticky vichy that was peds moments take your clothes off and put them on top of mine so what's the airline called finnay it's finnland it's the airline of finnland getting weighed in Helsinki is that a real place that would open the door for a fat air where they don't weigh yet and they make their big PR campaign so the fact doesn't matter what size or shape you are get on our plane have a biff there leave your pants on sit wherever you want take your pants off what they're not telling you is they're landing water well fantasy iron I'm just saying because of the weight what depends just have less people on still saying weight more it drives through it drives through I don't think you get turned away it's just to balance the plane really have you ever been moved on a plane for weight reasons because I have and I was flying to the Isle of Man it was one of those little flights going to see your accountant going to see me accountant it's on my way to the Cayman Islands to see me on the one there's a lot of money from Gigan in Swindon I love you absolutely I remember I was waiting probably 2009 because I remember wearing this Everton third kit that I just bought and I remember Moise was still there and everything was good it was a great time we were like sixth it was brilliant and the woman gets on the flight and she goes can you move she went just to redistribute the weight I said why have you picked me you seem a bit taller than over there that's very diplomatic 10 minute flight I've been moved for and this is the worst thing the movie last time I went to America I think we were only we went to Ireland and I think they might have moved us because we looked more responsible than the people that were currently sitting in the aisle that has the emergency exit me more responsible they wanted me sitting by the emergency door and she was quite insistent about it which is like why are you insistent that I sit near the emergency door and then when you look at the stuff recently about doors just blowing off planes you're like once she's been giving the nod by somebody but that's not good when they're saying will you look more responsible will you be by the wing I'm not John McLean you're just going to save everyone on the front there's a handle there if you could just grab it just hold it you look strong I'm not sure I'm not sure this is pre-running I'm just not sure that's the safety element I want I'm not sure I want to hold that plane shut the door or maybe the other I'm a bit more worried about the people these have got history these have got form for opening doors mid flight the door opened and they just sat there and looked at it sometimes people are too polite to do the right thing it's like oh I don't know if I should bother with that the door's open it's easing up my hands just being sucked out into the Atlantic oh sorry I didn't know I should have done something you should at least give me money off what if your nang gets sucked off well it's sitting sucked out sucked out sucked out of the plane but at least you get another meal well that's true an extra meal if it's before the meal then you've lost that haven't you and you now if you're going to go up the door go early don't go late that's what it is that's what it is this has been a boss segment this is going in the David Seaman tell you what Sam here we go big time nang getting sucked off put that in your ass Seaman put that in your seaman before on before on after the nang got sucked off let's leave it there for this descends even much like a large A plane big thanks to Sam let us know in the comments section below any of your funny sucked off stories of planes get some random questions in for us we will do our best to answer them but make sure you like, subscribe give it 5 star watch Sam in Swindon recommend Sam to live at the Apollo exactly I'm not going to comment great second debut by Sam very much Duncan Ferguson when he came back just don't do what happened to him he got kicked and he was out for 7 weeks no he will be back cheers Sam cheers everybody thanks for watching