Lately I've been asked frequently, how can a woman tell if a man is a keeper? Am I a keeper? Yeah, I think so. Okay, well, I appreciate that. But you know, these days women get used, they meet men that are wasting their time. So today I wanna lean into a conversation about how to differentiate those men that are gonna waste your time, those men are gonna use you, versus the guys who are a keeper. Before we do that though, I wanna say something to you and to the group out there. And that is oftentimes people say, Marie's so gorgeous, she didn't have a problem meeting a guy. And your granite, you're an attractive woman, you had lots of men interested in you, but it wasn't that easy, was it, to meet me? Well, it wasn't easy because I knew what I was looking for. And there's not a lot of guys that are open and honest and that I was finding. And I took a while after my other relationship ended because I just, I needed to heal, I needed to heal from that. And I tried going on a couple of dates and it just didn't work. And living in downtown Chicago, there's just a lot of people that dating is a sport and that's not what I was looking for. But yeah, you still met a lot of different, when I say a lot of different men. I mean, it's not like you went from your most significant relationship to me. You did the meet and greet, you met, you had dates that were you like them, but they didn't like you or vice versa, they liked you and you didn't like them. So it wasn't as if you didn't have situations where you found yourself with guys that you thought that you had a great date, but the guys never called back, right? Oh yeah, oh yeah.  Like, okay, I did it. I used to talk to several people at the same time. You were texting with them. And maybe you found a connection with somebody else. I just wish people would be more respectful and just be right up front and say it. Like I had a line I would tell people. Okay, but where I'm really coming from in this regard is that, you know, just because someone's attractive doesn't necessarily guarantee any greater relationship success than someone who's maybe a little less attractive because while looks might gain you a little more activity, you're still dealing with the population of dysfunctional people out there. Well, and it goes the other way when like sometimes I would find a guy super attractive and then you realize that they're hot mess. Okay. So yeah, no, I didn't, I don't think it's any different, perhaps being attractive gave you more opportunities, but I was also extremely selective and it wasn't based on looks. Okay, so in fact, it's interesting because when I hear your backstory of how you screen men, vetted them, filter them, it almost mirrors what I teach in my private coaching. You did it kind of through some of your own trial and error, but you also intuitively knew how to read people as well. I think because of your experience working in the medical field and some of your past life experience. Yeah, I think so, I don't know. I just felt that I could read through the bullshit. Okay. All right, so we're gonna talk about how to kind of differentiate the men who are the keepers versus the guys that are probably, what's the term when you catch a fish, catch and release, you got them, but you throw them back in the ocean. We're gonna talk about that for a second. So the first thing, and I've got five signs to determine if he's a keeper, the first one centers around emotional maturity. Would you say you met men that weren't very emotionally mature? I met a little bit of both. Okay, talk about that for a second while I do something on my phone. Well, I remember I was just thinking of some of the men I met. I met a really great guy. He was emotionally mature and he was very intentional, but I just wasn't ready for somebody like that. And here, so I would turn off the dating apps when I would get to that point that I just thought, even though this guy seems to be all that, I just, perhaps I just wasn't that into him, but he was a really good person and I really liked him. And then there were also a different, from an emotional maturity perspective, you met some men, I don't wanna talk about, what's it, Matt Hinge, would he be considered emotionally? Well, I never, I don't know. By the way, we have nicknames. For anyone we dated, their last name was the dating site we met them on, whether it was Hinge or Bumble or Match or Millionaire Match or whatnot. I bet my name was Jonathan Match, right?  No, you were Jonathan and because I had already done. You met me through Millionaire Match. Yeah. By the way, folks, we both, we met on two different sites. One was match.com and one was Millionaire Match. So coming back to emotional maturity, and I was picking on this guy, you had met some people who acted immature. So I wanna talk about five, just, okay. So now we're gonna talk about the five signs he's a keeper. First sign is emotional maturity, but within emotional maturity, I have five signs for emotional maturity. So number one is actions matches words. Did my actions match my words with you? Oh yeah. Okay. I wouldn't be sitting right here. Okay, so that's a sign of emotional maturity is when someone's actions consistently match their words. Number two, they have what I call victor consciousness, not victim consciousness. A lot of people operate as a victim. They come from at it, but they're blaming their past relationships. Did you have experience in, have you ever experienced men who have victim consciousness? They're always complaining. Yes. And was that a turnoff to you? Cause I had just came out of a marriage. I wasn't sure yet. I didn't, I didn't have that knowledge yet. Okay. So you couldn't differentiate between men who were just garden variety complaining, but they were actually in this space of like blaming instead of venting. But a lot of men that have accumulated success, and then they get divorced, they, I noticed more than one man, they feel that they had to give away their money. Okay.  Okay. Nevermind that you had kids and you were together for, you know, I don't know how many years. Yeah. So that's a sign of victim consciousness. If they didn't look at the relationship on some level, they blame their partner. This happens a lot.  I think that's victim consciousness.  And what this is really about is conflict resolution skills. So we had a disagreement this morning. It was a discussion. Okay. Okay. But did we, but okay. But we, we had a different point of view on something. Did we fight fair or did we get a little triggered? Oh, I thought we were fair. Okay. So one of the fundamentals of emotional maturity is when you have a difference of opinion, you listen to your partner's point of view, you acknowledge their point of view, which I think I did or you did the same for me. And then you val, then while you might not, while you might disagree with them, you at least acknowledge that their point of view is right for them. That's, I think a huge sign of emotional maturity is when you can, what I call fight fair. Number four is what I call empathy. And empathy isn't simply feeling someone else's feelings. I say empathy is actually genuinely caring about someone else's feelings. So you weren't feeling well this weekend. No. Did I genuinely want to take care of you? And did I genuinely, did your, you were in pain, did I feel pain?  But my point is that's a sign of true empathy when you come back to me. I had a severe migraine and it was not fun. Yeah, that was not fun. And last but not least transparency. And transparency, if it's material to the relationship, an emotional grownup will share things that are material to the relationship. So if there's differences in agreements, you're going to share it. If there's something about the partner you don't like or I don't want to use the word don't like, but would like to get off your chest or just, it's about being transparent and sharing it. That's a sign of emotional maturity. And that's a sign you have a keeper. Did I? You know what? I want to throw something in there.  I think some people make mountains out of molehills. I probably do that. Well, you left the toilet seat open. No, I didn't. Did I do it again? No, I didn't. Oh my God, I try so hard not to do that. But you didn't tell me until just now, so you didn't pick in your battle. No, I haven't told you every time. Okay. Yeah. But I think I'm probably a little bit needier than you are is what I meant by that.  You know about it. I'm throwing myself under the bus here. Okay. Number two sign that he's a keeper is does he have a generous spirit? So earlier today, and this is what I'm about to share, isn't the first time I've heard this, but I was talking to a client where she went on a date with a guy and I guess they each had a drink and the bill was, his drink was $8 for a beer and hers was $10 for wine. And he split up the bill that way. I'm like, I'm not suggesting that's cheap, but I mean, a generous spirit would either be, you know, treating the whole thing or at least splitting it in half, but I am. That would have turned me off. Yeah. But I think generous spirit also like when we began dating, I, you know, I said, hey, look, I'll pick up the airfare a few times for you coming out here because I knew it was an expense to you. Or an extra expense, what? Actually, no, you didn't pick up the airfare, you upgraded me. Oh, okay. I forgot about that. Wait, I upgraded you to first class. Well, I felt bad that you were digging a really early flight and you had to get up really early in the morning. By the way, it wasn't that expensive to upgrade. It was only $150. Now that I remember it. Yeah, Americans cheaper and united. No, united, I forgot which one. That was American. That was American was cheaper because you had a status. So, but demonstrating does the man have a generous spirit? Be on the look for that. Number three, does he take care of himself physically and financially? Okay. I think taking, you know, the reality is there's a lot of people in midlife just let themselves go. Men and women alike. I would agree. And I'm assuming you met men that let themselves go. Well, actually you wouldn't meet them. Well, I did meet some that weren't in, that weren't in very good shape, but it wasn't about being in good shape. It's just their health. Yeah. You know, I was very health conscious. Yeah. I was very health conscious. And, you know, so I liked being at the gym. Okay. So I think someone who takes care of themselves physically and also financially. And what that means is they don't necessarily have to be rich, but they need to be able to take care of themselves. And I was reading with you earlier today, someone who just lost, it was a man who reached out to me and shared they had just lost his job and he's dealing with so many things in his life. I don't think he's a good candidate to be in relationship with until you get your house in order. And I think it's important to pay attention for that. Yeah.  And if you don't know what that side is like, it's, you know, some people there, you know, say they're millionaires, but it's not really four millionaires. It's just that because it's a little bit more expensive, you get people that are more intentional in, in dating. And, but I wasn't looking for a millionaire. I wanted somebody that was financially responsible. Yeah. Not to say that everyone on the site is that, but it tends to lend themselves for that. So I think it's important to look at, does he take care of himself physically financially? And I should say emotionally, but I already covered that in the first one. Number four, do you feel open to being yourself with him? Well, that's, that has to be, to me, that's way up there. Well, that's, well, these aren't in any particular order, but ultimately, have you ever gone out with somewhere where you just didn't feel like you could be yourself?  So why, why invest? Well, but beyond that, you know, I think one of the things we talked about very early on was we felt safe with one another emotionally speaking. And more importantly, there's a sense, well, our relationship doesn't have these significant butterflies and it's like skyrockets all the time. Our relationship was a little bit different. Well, I don't mean the way it started, but where it's at today. Like we said, the number one feeling that we experience is comfort, peace, ease. Like that's what it should feel like. So when I have women write me habitually about a man that they're in a relationship with and all I hear is unease, well, there's something there and it needs to be addressed. And that is, why do you feel so uneasy? And could it be, he's just not the right guy for you? Yeah, it's fear. I think it's fear because they're afraid if they show themselves they might not be, he might break up with them. Well, then he wasn't the right guy. So coming back to emotional maturity, transparency, that's a sign of emotional maturity. If a person isn't speaking up when they don't feel good about the relationship, that's like if for fear that that person will leave, then you're not being emotionally mature either. Correct. Okay. And last but not least, number five. Does he appreciate you even when you're at your worst? Okay, now I wanna clarify that. I'm not talking Amber heard worst, okay? I'm not talking about where someone has literally clinical issues and they have borderline personality and one minute they're your best friend and the next minute you're their enemy. I'm not talking about that kind of worst. I'm talking about what happened this weekend where you had this horrific migraine. Yeah, there was a time yesterday when I just, I just wanted to go to the emergency room. I just, it was a horrible, horrible feeling. And it's one of those days where you hang out in your pajamas all day and couldn't have looked worse, couldn't have felt worse. And he was there bringing me soup and helping me find ways to feel better. We binged watch too. But my point is when a man can genuinely appreciate you when he can be supportive of you, even when you're not your best, you don't have the makeup on, you're not looking, not that it's about looks but you're not feeling your best. That's a great sign that you're with someone. That's a keeper. So does that make me a keeper? I guess it does. You say that with reluctance. So I just wanna remind everyone, look at these aren't absolutes, what I just shared. What's most important though, was the one that where Marie said, this is the top of the list. How do you really feel with this person? Do you feel safe? Do you feel at peace? Do you feel comfort? Or are you feeling anxiety? Are you feeling uncertainty? Or be careful of feeling that limerence, that butterflies and whatnot because that's oftentimes just a sign of unhealthy anxiety. And a real keeper is someone where you can be your true self. You can be your authentic self. Would you agree? I would agree. Sometimes when you meet somebody and you're both trying to feel each other out to see if you would be a fit. Like, okay, we're gonna go back to Matt Hinge. Great looking guy and attorney. He just, he had a nice resume but all he did was go from bar to bar to bar in Chicago. And I thought, I'm not gonna be doing that. That's not how I wanna live my life. So this was really not feeling comfortable with his lifestyle. It wasn't kind of aligned with the way your lifestyle is. Got it, got it, got it. But I enjoyed hanging out with him that one day. Yeah. Well, he didn't make the cut and thankfully he didn't so I could come in and sweep you off your feet. So, all right, folks. That's our content portion of what we just shared. Now it's time for Q and A. For those that know what my format or our format, I should say if you have a question for Marie or I simply write the word question and post the question thereafter or you can purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat or Super Thanks if you're watching the replay. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box. All the monies from the Super Sticker Super Chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. He's my son who passed away almost five years ago and in his honor we donate to causes like the Hoffman Process and Insight Institute just to name a few. So again, if you have a question, write the word question or purchase a Super Sticker Super Chat. All right, let's see what we have here. Someone did ask a question related to generosity. I saw it a moment ago. She said, what is a generous spirit? And I wanted to identify that for a second. People with generous spirit are, like we were talking about givers and takers, you know? And givers are the ones that like, okay, we talked about even though the dating process, it's one thing when a man says I'd like to take you out. But it's another thing when a woman says, can I contribute? At least you're demonstrating that you have a generous spirit. If it's coming from a place of sincerity, if it's coming from a place of obligation, then it's not sincere. I'm using that as an example if a woman did that. But even the man saying I wanna take you out and treat you that at least demonstrates a generous spirit. It is and it doesn't only have to be with money, like I went out with someone that, you know, he stopped the car suddenly and crossed the street to help an old lady sweep up some leaves because the lady had a broken arm. And I thought, wow, that's a generous guy. Like he saw her pulled over, he didn't say anything, he just pulled over. So I have a client who, I'm sorry I interrupted you, but I have a client who met someone and she found out on their first date that he gave a kidney to a total stranger. They have a kidney to a total stranger. Like who does that, right? Or maybe on the shows we watch, the doctor shows. I guess I'm not that generous. But there's something, and by the way, right off the bat, she knew he had good character. At least that demonstrates good character, people that have a generous spirit versus takers versus the givers. So I just wanted to respond to that comment I saw earlier. By the way, Christine writes, hi, dynamic duo, second chances. Timing has a lot to do with things. Sometimes right person, wrong time. Can you revisit thoughts? Thank you for your transparency and guidance. So we've talked about timing before. Do you want to talk about that for a second? Yeah, so like right when I ended my last relationship, you know, you meet people and then once you've healed and you've moved forward and life happens, you always wonder had I met him when I was like totally healed, it would have been a better time. It wasn't that he... You talking about me? No, I was just, I'm talking about somebody that I met that perhaps if I would have met him two years later, I would have been more open to him. Well, I think even in our dynamic, we met technically what we connected, I should say we didn't meet. We could have met a year prior. Yeah, a year prior, actually six months prior. But I don't think when you came out to Los Angeles in November and we eventually met in May, I was going through some stuff at that time. Timing was off. So I do believe timing plays a huge role in the success of a relationship. So, Christiane, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Here's one of the members from my private group called Midlife Love Mastery. By the way, there's a link below to join my private group. This is a group where you can have direct access to me on a regular basis. This is one of our members who wrote in. I'm not sure that paying less to self is true for all. I'm 55 now. I'm more committed to taking care of myself physically and financially. I'm having my best life single and open. You're on point. Well, again, I do believe, you know, here's the thing. I know a lot of people aren't in a good place in their life, especially after COVID. I think most importantly, a man has to be in a good place in his life financially because if the ground underneath them isn't solid, I don't think it has to always be true for women so much so as it is for men because men traditionally have been the provider protectors. But at the same time, if you're meeting a guy whose life isn't solid financially or even physically, I don't think he's a good candidate. Yeah, absolutely. I'm just thinking of myself. Because I knew I wasn't ready for a relationship, I joined all these travel groups and I traveled the world and that filled me. So she's talking about being in a good place in her life because I thought, well, maybe I'll meet somebody in one of those groups and maybe it didn't happen, but I met a lot of great people and had a great time. I continued to live my life. And I actually, one of the things that I told people is having ended my previous relationship was the best thing that ever happened because I lived a better life after that. When I thought my world was falling apart when that ended. It's so much easier now connecting the dots going backward, but at the time you're in emotional chaos and whatnot, you think you're never going to feel great. I know I went through a period where I went to bed wishing I didn't wake up. We've all gone through that. And well, the thing is, until you actually go through it, I was in depression. Yeah, emotional pain, I think is worse than physical pain. Yeah, and so through that period of time, and now I look back and I'm like, how did I ever feel? Like now I want to live a lot because you're in my life now. I want to live as long as I can possibly, healthy, live healthily, healthily, healthy for as long as possible. Okay, thanks for that post. I really appreciate it. By the way, you know, here's what Medina says. Can you read that? Mr. Ashley is a keeper. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Thank you so much. I appreciate that. Oh, wait a minute. What does Leaf say? Jonathan's a keeper.  All right, let's keep going here. Mel says I absolutely agree with Jonathan. All right, let's keep going here. Natural says I feel this at ease, calming feeling when I'm around him. And he notices I finally came out of the clouds. I didn't notice it. I just felt how happy being around him. Yay, that's exactly how you should feel. All right, let's keep going. Okay, Becca writes question. If a guy want to meet you only once a week after two months of dating, is that a bad sign? I have a comment, but I'd like to hear what you think. Okay, I have a guy best friend that he's in his fifties, has a child, never been married, actually he's 60. He had, we would talk about all this stuff and he would say that some girls were only Monday or Tuesday girls and maybe every other week. And I used to get really upset at that. I'm like, why are you wasting their time? He was like, because it's a Monday or Tuesday. So I don't think that that's correct. If someone's really into you, they're gonna make the times, they're gonna give you their time because they wanna get to know you better. Okay, so this is gonna sound a little like a judgment, not of your friend, but if you allow someone to only see you once a week or at their beck and call, while shame on him, but shame on you for accepting it. Ladies, I'm here to encourage, be in your power. Ladies, many of you give your power away to men. It's one of the things I talk about in my private coaching incessantly. By the way, if you want some support with that, right? Here's a link to schedule a discovery call with me. There's a link below to schedule a call with me. Folks, I'm here to shift from this way of giving your power away to a man.  It's not up to a guy. So if you're a friend who, he's a good guy, but he could do that because women would let him do that. Well, he's attractive, he's wealthy. And so, but his thing was, okay, well, what about that girl? He goes, oh yeah, yeah, she's a Monday or Tuesday girl. I'm like, what does that mean? Well, it means that first off, he's non-committal and there's other things going on. I don't wanna throw him under the bus too much. But again, going back to your original question, Becca, if he only wants to see you once a week after two months of dating, then you have to listen, follow my coaching program called the rules of engagement. And by the way, I hope you're not having sex with him.  Ask him what type of relationship he's looking for, what does commitment look like for him? And also what does commitment mean to him? Ask him these radically honest questions. Lay your cards on the table. In fact, that's part of what an emotional, remember I said earlier about being with an emotional grownup, when you're with an emotional grownup, you can lay your cards on the table, you can practice radical honesty and you can establish the rules of engagement. And I'm a tough guy on this stuff. You know, a lot of women, I think, don't do that. And the reason they don't do that is because, okay, they give their power away. So they think, okay, this is a good looking guy or he's a good catch or whatever. If I just hang in long enough, he'll see my value. He'll see me and he'll want me and I won't be just a Monday or Tuesday girl. I might make it to Saturday. Well, listen, you're at the two month mark.  Okay, Becca, thank you so much for that question. Kathy writes, question men who say, wait, men who say he was blindsided by previous relationship breakdown, are they lying or deflecting or emotionally immature? Your thoughts, please. To me, it's a red flag. So they were blindsided by their previous relationship breakdown. Okay. Well, I think, you know, it's interesting.  I'm talking about- I wasn't blindsided. Okay, so someone who says they're blindsided means they're not paying attention to the relationship in and of itself. I mean, yes, there are people who hide infidelity and they might be blindsided by that. And certainly if a man is with a woman who ends the relationship, there's probably, hopefully she was transparent and said, why? But if she made a valid case for why the relationship ended and that feels like a blindside, then I would say how active involved was he in the relationship to be blindsided by it? Am I making sense? Yeah, but some, I just, I thought of something. There was a gal that worked for me and her husband, they had been married for 10 years or something. The husband came in to speak to my then husband to ask for advice, because his wife just asked for a divorce and he was clueless, like clueless. And her reasoning was he doesn't take me out. So it goes with emotional maturity. I don't know how long you- Yeah, you're together and he hasn't asked you out in five years and you haven't once spoken up. You haven't said, hey, we never go out.  I think a lot of couples are, they're almost robots in relationship. They're going through the motions, especially longer-term relationships, where they lack a sense of appreciation for one another. Now, one of the things I am probably a little bit adamant about with us is I continually reinforce the words, I appreciate you. And this is what I appreciate about you. I think it's why I'm saying this is you won't be blindsided when your two people are actively appreciating each other. You're giving each other attention, you're giving each other affection, you're giving each other appreciation called the three A's, do you have something to share? Well, she's asking when a guy says that. You know, the guy may have been blindsided, but he may have just been blind to what was going on in his household. It's exactly it. But it also may be like that gal that worked for me that she just never brought it up. And then one day she decided, oh, I had enough of this. Never mind, they had two kids, you know? So it's sad when people feel blindsided, but they're just as culpable. Exactly, exactly. All right, I wanna jump in. Nicole writes, there wasn't a question. Have you, when you have said there is an exit clause with older women, younger men, matchups, if the older woman is still able to have a baby for the younger man, do you think older women, younger men can work? All right, so what she's addressing is something you may not have heard me say this before. Why younger men like older women?    And by the way, please forgive me if that offends or triggers anyone.  But a younger man has what's called an escape clause. When he's used this person, he can go and say, I wanna have a baby with someone now and exit out of the relationship. Now, in this particular case, can it work? Absolutely it can work. I know many people who have met, I know a man who was 27, he met his wife, or now wife, and she was 17 years older than him. So it absolutely- My cousin in Columbia. Which one? The one that's pregnant. Oh yeah, what's the age difference? It's an eight-year age difference, but- 30 and she's 42 and he's like 33 or something? Something like that, 32. Yeah, and she thought she couldn't have kids because of issues she had had. And then a week later she was pregnant. Turns out she was pregnant. Yeah. So yes, it is absolutely possible. But I will tell you, some men, especially when we're dealing with men that are in their 30s with women in their 45s and 50-year-old, I'm talking about the women who can't have babies. That's a great exit clause for these men because they can always say, oh, I want to have a child with someone and he can end the relationship and there's not much you can do about it. But see, women can do that as well. Like, I've met- Okay. Way back, I met men that the first thing they say is, are you willing to have kids? And the first thing I respond is, I have four, I'm done. Yeah. My tubes are tied, I'm done. Okay. All right, so thank you so much for that post. Okay, Ren writes question. People always say I'm very beautiful and get very well, wait, and I get very well-known smiling at me. But they do not talk to me, but bad men, as it transpired, come to talk to me. I don't know. So, well, I'm sure you've had men that you, I don't like using the term bad men, but you've had men that you weren't interested come up and talk to you, right? Because you're attractive. Yes. Okay, and what would you say to someone if you're not interested? No, I was always very nice, but I don't know. You can tell when someone doesn't really wanna talk to you. I really enjoyed talking to people that would come up and they didn't rely on their looks. Actually, you told me a lot of men, when you used to go out every Monday night to win your Manola Blancos or whatever Christian Louboutin shoes, there was a raffle every Monday night at this bar in Chicago for a $1,000 pair of shoes, you'd go. But you said there were a lot of times men that weren't your type or weren't attracted to you would come up and talk to you.  Well, that's true, though.  I have a friend of mine. She, speaking of older woman, younger man, she was at, this was years ago, she was at a bar and she saw this really cute guy and she threw an ice cube at him. And he was like, what just happened? And you'd like, you know, she smirked a little bit. Well, they end up having a conversation. They end up dating for a few years and there was probably a 12 or 13 year age difference. But she threw an ice cube to get his attention. Hey. You know, so, yes, by the way, you emailed me first. I know you don't like that. I bring that up. By the way, Andrea- You weren't the only one, okay? I know you emailed other guys. By the way, Andrea says, I like your matching blue shirts. Thank you so much. Actually, mine is purple. It just looks- Oh, that's right. It's purple. I'm wearing blue. You see the difference here. Okay. Question from one of our face group group members. Question for Jonathan. After your divorce, at what point did you feel emotionally matured? IG, how long after your divorce? When you met me. Two weeks before I met you. I would say, so right after my divorce, which was right around the time the market crashed around 2007, I started to go in a downward trajectory that lasted about three years emotionally. Now I was actively dating during that period of time. And then about 2011, I met a woman and I started to come out of my emotional depression and we were together for on and off for six years. I would say it wasn't until I did the Hoffman process. It wasn't until I did Insight Institute, really, which was the impetus, which I'm gonna promote my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. It kind of outlines here in the book my journey of going from the dark night of the soul till actually getting to a place. And it really wasn't until Connor passed away that I actually did even a deeper dive into what does it really mean to love? Because when you lose a child, you're experiencing one of the most devastating things in life. And it really caused me to ask the question, what is love? And what would love do when you're in pain? And when I mean by what would love do, it's funny, we were watching a show about the passion of Christ and we're watching another one and about Christ and he was saying, he was just simply saying what would love do? Like that's how, so when I began saying that to myself, that's when I got out of my funk. So anyway, and then I met you. All right, thank you for that question. I really appreciate it. Let's see, Denise has a two-part question. Question two parts. You said that unless someone who clinically has BPD, blah, blah, blah, it took a lot for me to watch you with my boyfriend at the time. Now you say BPD. Let me see what the second part of this question is. Anyway, my boyfriend laughed at me just now because you said verified his negative behavior towards me. Will you please learn a little more about mental health before blanket statements? All right, I was saying something in jest earlier. So, but what I did say, yeah, I was joking about that. First off, that's not anyone who has a clinical, emotional health issue. I'm not, and it's diagnosed what I'm saying is I'm not here to even remotely say they're not capable of being in a relationship or not. What I was differentiating was people that might have a propensity to be your best friend one moment and your worst enemy the next moment versus someone that's just having a tiff that moment. That's what I was differentiating. So, to answer your question, let's see, starshine writes, hi, Jonathan and Marie. You two are lovely together. I agree with Marie that emotional, thank you. Is emotional pain is the most painful feeling I've gone through. It can lead to broken heart and heart problems indeed. Yes. Although losing a child is pretty bad too. Question for Marie. Before meeting your soulmate, Jonathan, did unhealthy men contact you from dating apps? Marie, you are gorgeous and sultry and physically fit.  I think all those men with serious mental conditions, they contacted me too. You just, you have to weed through the stuff. Not everybody was somebody that I would even contemplate. You know, in the beginning when you first start dating apps or, and I'm not talking about like the swiping type and where someone sent you a message, I would respond with a really nice message and a couple of times I got something really angry, sent back to me and then I didn't say anything that should trigger that.  So I don't, they're out there and it's learning how to stay away from those types of people. Well, it's interesting because I once had a woman write me an email and I remember reading it at seven in the morning and I looked at her profile and I wasn't interested in her, but I always made it a practice that if a woman emailed me, I'd always write a very thank you, no thank you email.  And by the time I got back to my computer, like say an hour and a half later, there was this nasty message from this person. And by the way, she wrote me this glowing message of how she loved my profile and how great I am and blah, blah, blah. And then this nasty message saying, I can't believe you looked at my profile and didn't even have the time to respond to it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Well, that's someone I think has a mental health issue. I'm sorry, someone who, yeah. But the point is, the only reason why I didn't respond was I went for a jog. I saw the message. Well, I immediately sent a report to match because I didn't want someone who would be completely unhinged. Yeah, there are people that have clinical issues that can approach us online. That's a nature of it. We can have scam artists that approach us online. So one of the reasons why we talked about background checks in our last video, the importance to do that because we're meeting total strangers. And quite frankly, when you're meeting strangers, doing a little homework about the person makes sense. I know I'm going off tangent here, but let me just say whether it's men or women, there are a lot of people that lose it in the online data. Just to wrap that up, I didn't do background checks on everybody. Because sometimes I didn't even know their last names. Oh, okay, got it. Yeah, so I just, I went and I saw them, but if it's somebody that I'm questioning whether we're gonna go out again, I would do a background check just to see if everything they said to me matched up. And there was a guy that I went out with a few times and then I later, I'm not even sure if he was single. He seemed to be married. I had one woman who reached out to me. She claimed, she told me this whole story. She had a dream about a young man. Like she was describing my son who passed away and she's telling me a dream that she had lunch with a young man that was at Benny Hanna's and the man told her to date her father. And she's telling me this story. And I'm like, oh, by the way, we met through Facebook, Facebook dating app. That would creep me out. So I told Tammy that and she goes, do you know this person could have just been looking at your Facebook profile, noticed that you took Connor out to lunch. And all she gave me was her first name. But it was an unusual first name. So I did a background check on her. Everything she told me was like false. And all I had was her first name and I just did a general search. But so sometimes you have to be creative and use Google because it can be a great place. Anyways, let's move on from that one. All right, Powder writes, question, will a spender ever turn into a grower committed guy? He's 61 divorced once in widow. So a spender, the man who wants companionship, connection and sex, but he's not ready for commitment. Can that change? Yes, but I wouldn't hold my hat on someone who wants to take it slow, wants to see where things go. She's talking about a spender is it gonna change his way? No, a spender is in my coaching, a user, a spender and a grower builder.  I was thinking they spend their money. No, no, no, that's not a spender. A spender in my world, the users, the love bombers, the players, the growers and builders, they want a full committed relationship. They grow with you and the spenders are usually, they want companionship, they want connection, they want sex, but they're non-committal. Can they change? I wouldn't hold my hat on someone who clearly says, I don't want a serious relationship. That should at least be your barometer of someone who wants a serious relationship. And then what are they doing to progress the relationship forward? We talked about a guy you were with at one point that says, let's take things slow. While he was taking slow, another guy came in and I took you away. So anyway. All right. Let's keep swimming. Someone says she got pregnant at 48. Yes, that is absolutely possible. All right, let's keep going. Here's Tanya says, question for Marie. What advice would you give to an over 10 year divorced woman who has reservations on dating seriously again? Well, I think you have to figure out why you have reservations because do you want to spend the rest of your life alone? Are you okay alone? Do you have a good network of friends and you feel fine being alone? Then there's nothing wrong with that. I have relatives that we talked about it when it's just a huge network of women and they're all, some are married, some are divorced and they just have each other and they throw parties and they do stuff. And I admire that. If you're happy with that, that's fine. But if you want a relationship, you got to put yourself in the game. If you're not in the game, then you can't complain if you really do want to find a relationship. So I think of the show Golden Girls and they were still out there going out on dates and stuff and I guess it's not like it is today. Here's the thing. Whether we like it or not folks, we have to be strategic in dating today. You cannot passively do this. It's almost impossible to meet someone if you are either ambivalent about it, you're ambiguous about it, you have to have a strategy. That's what I do for a living. So check out the link below to a discovery call with me. And you have to be intentional. You were intentional. You put together a great profile. You took really quality pictures. You sent out emails to men that were of interest to you and you were intentional about it. Once I got the message, I took the ball and ran with it, but at least you made effort. And without effort, how is anything ever gonna happen in your life? You have to make effort to get a job. You have to write a resume. You have to go out on interviews. It's no different. And to be enough to think otherwise is not just naive. It's delusional thinking. I'm sorry to say it that way, but whether we like it or not, it requires massive effort to make a relationship happen these days. Yeah, and going back into the dating world when you've been out of it, it's a scary thing. It really is a scary thing. So you have to also make sure you have a great attitude because if you don't have a great attitude, it's going to show. And remember we talked about when I went to a match.com event and I had to leave because some women were just, they just didn't have a great attitude towards men. And you never want that either. I mean, I gave everybody the benefit of the doubt. And it didn't matter whether they were attractive or not. If they were nice, that was nice back to them. If they were jerks, I still smile and walk away. So it's interesting because I said this on a previous video with you. I used to go on dates and I could see, I could be sitting across from a woman at a restaurant and I could see every man that ever hurt her standing behind her. They were literally the ghosts of all the men because the energy she put out said, I've been hurt. Now, Tanya, I know that's not what you said. It's been 10 years.  Let's be realistic. Look at your significant relationship. It took you five years to meet me. And while you met some really nice men, you didn't have a significant relationship. My significant relationship ended five years before I met you. And it took effort. We went on dates. We met on meet and greets. We sometimes liked someone and they didn't like us. And sometimes they liked us and we didn't like them. And we made the effort to make it happen. Yeah. You still have to put yourself out there if that's what you're looking for. Yeah. All right, Tanya, great question. All right, we'll take one more before we wrap up tonight. Let's keep swimming. Oh, there's a lot of people having a conversation. All right, this will probably be the last for the evening.  That's a great question. So, folks, I'm going to read my dating vows for everyone just to give you some backstory. For anyone who's ever watched the show, The Big Bang Theory, I believe Sheldon and his girlfriend had something called the Relationship Rules. And he had a lit, this was a, you ever watched the show? I never watched the show. Okay, this is a guy who's a brainiac. I mean, the smartest of smarts. And he has his, he's like, he's kind of like the good Dr. Sean. Yeah. In that he had this list of like 50 things required in the relationship. Well, my dating vows is something similar to that.  And it goes like this. And by the way, anyone interested in this schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you? I will send you a copy of the dating vows if you schedule a discovery call with me. So it goes like this. I agree to explore the process of getting to know you with the intent to declare something serious in the next three to six months. I agree to be monogamous sexually while we have regular sex together. I agree not to actively seek and to meet and date others while we're in the dating process, including taking down our dating profiles. I agree to speak up if this isn't working for me versus ghosting, pulling away or disappearing. And I agree to invest regular time together in the process of getting to know each other, which looks like shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, traveling and that sort of thing. That's my dating vows, okay? Again, if you want a copy, schedule a discovery call with me. All right. And by the way, he read that to me on our third date. And? And at first I thought, okay, this is weird. I've never had somebody want me to sign a contract. You don't sign anything, but it felt like a contract. But then I thought, yeah, why not? I mean, that's... Well, all I'm saying is how did two grownups date? If, listen, ladies, if the man wants his penis inside your vagina, I know you're not a big fan of me saying that, but if he wants to have regular sex, you have every right to establish some rules of engagement. This is what I talk about in my coaching. So how successful is it? Well, I will tell you this. I had a client who just emailed me yesterday morning with a photo of her and I wonder if I should, I can pull that out. Oh, I already said that. Okay. No, she gave me permission to share the picture. I'll post a picture of it on the community page. I've had clients tell me they've read this to men and a lot of men are turned off by it because these men aren't serious, but the men who are genuinely serious go, wow, you just made my job easier for me. Like all the work I do with clients, my clients show the paperwork to the men. Like I have one client who's now has a boyfriend. He goes, can I call Jonathan to thank him for all the work he's done with you because he made my job easier? What? I was just thinking in my friend with one of his Monday or Tuesday girls, if she would have read this to him, he would have said, yeah, I don't think so, goodbye. Because he treats her like a Monday or Tuesday girl. So this is a weeding out process. 90% of guys aren't going to want to follow it, but these are the 90% that are dysfunctional users and they don't want a serious relationship with you. Anyway, all right, today we covered a lot about what it takes to keep, to determine who's a keeper. I'm grateful because I have a keeper in my life. Oh, thank you.  Oh, thank you. Folks, oh, folks, I think, I hope you had value in this. If you did, please hit that like button. Please share this video. Please subscribe to my channel. Go to the description below to schedule a discovery call with me to join my group called Midlife Love Mastery to check out all the books I typically recommend. We didn't recommend too many books today. As always, if you have something to say, post a comment as well. And we're gonna wrap up this video as I always do whenever you're my guest. Can I give you a big gigantic John the Bear hug? Yes, please. Can I get one back? Absolutely. Thank you, sweetheart. Folks, thanks a bunch. I wanna thank KB and Hillary and Andrea and Wanda and Denise and Jennifer and Starshine and Elena and Kahlua, if I butchered your name, Tasha, Jennifer, Lily, Hammond. Everyone, thanks so much. Have a fabulous evening. Bye now. Bye. We're going out to dinner now. Yay.


Hello and welcome to NewsClick. Today we have with us Ambassador Bhadrakumar who's been a keyed follower of the developments not only of all international issues but particularly of West Asia, Central Asia and this entire geo-strategic part of this region. It's a pleasure to have you with us. It's always a pleasure for me also an old friend more than anything else and to be with you. I feel very comfortable talk chatting with you. As you know, the Iran-U.S. standoff particularly with Mr. Trump cancelling the nuclear deal which not only had the U.S. and Iran but also other states. It was not just a deal between Iran and the U.S. What are the ramifications of this in terms of what's likely to happen in the West, on investment? You see it has different templates at the core, very core. This has been a project which dates back to the Bush administration, Rumsfeld, Cheney and so on. The attack on the invasion of Iraq was not accidental and at that time the subtext was actually Iran. After finishing that they would turn to... So you know the project is about disposing of emergent powers in that region which would someday be in a position to challenge Israel's supremacy in the region and Israel is the main instrument for the American hegemony in the region. So stakes are very high. Now the project was completed in Iraq but then towards the second half of that occupation it took a very unexpected turn and it didn't happen and then the regime changed in Washington. You had Barack Obama who had a very different attitude towards engaging the Muslim Middle East and you know his famous speech in Cairo University in 2009. So the Iran part and he had a very different approach to Iran. So as I say it the project got actually postponed by 80 years and when history is written my feeling is that this would be coming up as a singular failure on the part of the Obama administration that the President Obama I don't know what prevented him. He didn't follow up the nuclear deal of 2015 July because if he had provided the underpinnings for the smooth implementation of this a certain new normal would have come to exist in the US-Iran relationship and so on. Like for example what he had to do was to implement the deal from the American side. Now therefore what these people have done is they have actually picked up the threats. Now this has to be clearly understood and the Iran nuclear deal rejecting it is a pretext for it. The real agenda is to my mind regime change in Iran. You know there have been a lot of arguments that even the Obama administration's agreement was essentially to dismantle Iran's centrifuge program and also remove as you know the fissile material which had been made up to I think 20% richness, enrichment had to take less than 20% and that all that material was taken out. There's a condition of the deal. I think 98% of the fissile material was removed potentially fissile material and most of its centrifuges from I think 18,000 they came down dramatically to much lower figures. So that was the intent but the Americans would never really going to be very honest in accepting their side of the deal. This was some of the arguments of the deal and the second part of it if you think of it that one of the reason that they did not go too far on implementation is the kind of attacks to receive from the Republican majority at the time in the Senate and the Congress that they that that was could be also part of the reason Obama was not really didn't want to get too far once he dismantled Iran's capabilities. You're right you know the I'm not blaming Obama. I'm saying that this will stand out as a failure because this part of it the epilogue should have been thought through because this deal otherwise didn't make sense. This deal should have led to a constructive engagement between the United States and Iran and that would have been the underpinning. You see Iran should have been made a stakeholder. There's no point in talking about a like Trump is demanding that Iran's regional policies are unacceptable. But the point is why is Iran Iran has not precipitated a single conflict in that region. Iran has had a role to play but why is it that Iran has pursued this politics of resistance. That is because it is been besieged it's under siege ever since the Islamic Revolution. So a construct only through a constructive engagement and I feel I was reading the other day again this Cairo University speech by Obama. I think left to himself. He apologized for the CIA overthrow of Mossadik. Now that was an extraordinary gesture you know. So he he was with his sense of history. He was quite aware of what the problem area was and then he was wanting to win their confidence and the irony is that you know that the ruling elite in Iran their demand is really that they want to be integrated with a western world. They want technology capital for building themselves up. I have no doubt in my mind that they are not wanting to develop nuclear weapons because knowing their system and their ideology and so on there is this fatha by Imam Khomeini and they attach that most importance to that kind of thing because it is linked to the legitimacy of the regime. So that's not the issue there. The thing is they want to develop their economy because there's a lot of pressure on that front you know the people's expectations and the this is a this is a regime which is characterized in a certain way by the western analysts in western media but which has a representative character whether you like it or not and just to take up the point that you're raising that they wanted engagement and therefore they wanted really the kind of economic sanctions to be lifted and the reason they built up the nuclear capability was more a bargaining attempt in order to bring the United States to the negotiating table rather than the route to nuclear weapons. This is I think the point that you would say is the reason why they developed this nuclear capability.  This could have been done actually by Bush they had made the offer Iran if you remember had made the offer at that time yes we'll cap the nuclear program you should normalize there are things we overlook for example they cooperated with the American intervention in Afghanistan in 2001 and they passed on very valuable intelligence to the American forces against Al Qaeda you know so you see the the the the the the the late motive for the the the the the impetus for the regime impetus was definitely in terms of a constructive engagement of the western world. You talked about Iran being besieged one of the reasons they intervened partially in Iraq also in Syria is also the fact that the forces which are rising there the basically the kind of Islam which was rising there ISIS Al Qaeda was inimical to the kind of Islam that is there in Iran and would also be a long-term threat to it do you see therefore that actually these forces supposedly the ones which also attacked the United States in 9-11 there was a common even a common basis for all the powers in the region to come together to prevent it but instead of that Iran is sought to be isolated these forces are sought to be turned against Syria and also lately against Iran would that be one of the also issues when when the west really played shall we say a more destructive card in West Asia well probably you know there is a lot of sophisticity here you know in the sense that you know that Al Qaeda's creation you have to point the finger at the United States there's no other way you know like I mean I worked for a long time in my career around Afghanistan and I have had access to a lot of privileged information and it's very clear that you know that there was American backing for Osama bin Laden and he was transferred from Africa to Afghanistan and they had at that time the CIA's favorite group was nothing other than this Hakanis group you know that group and they prevailed that they conducted him directly to keep him there so you know this is how it began and then one thing led to another you know and then you know it was bound to happen they spun out of American control and you know they got fired up you know and then they demanded the exit of Americans from Saudi Arabia and you know their problem with the Saudi regime all kinds of elements got into it and then they hit at the Americans you know now in the case of Islamic state virtually it is the same thing this all goes back to Brzezinski's brainwave to you know inject this poison of radical Islam in a through terrorist groups to serve geopolitical agenda starting from Afghanistan Caucasus also the other target it's Chechnya the same thing has done and I even fear that at some point you know they might even turn towards Xinjiang you know and in fact you know they are hundreds or thousands of them from Xinjiang are working with as Islamic state fighters and we're working in Syria and that is China's involvement in the Syrian conflict one major consideration for China and Chechnya being the other contingent Chechnya and the entire North Caucasus you know Dagestan Chechnya all this inkushetia all these places so essentially so you know try to use this against Iran as well as Russia even against China in China Iran's very important because the point is these groups are also subscribing to the Wahhabi ideology and they are anti Shiite and they are virulently anti Shiite you know that you know like the Hasara Shiites in Afghanistan or you know in their crosshairs you know this kind of thing is there so you can find a better proxy than this to hit at Iran Iran's involvement in Iraq is also very curious it is not in terms of these terrorist groups or anything it is that the Americans you know the New York cons there you know with their thing that they should you know make all countries democratic so they introduced democracy there in Iraq now these guys didn't know that you know that means you know empowerment of Shiites and also those Shiites which had been sheltered in Iran against Adam for a very long time and then this this Islamic state came now the the Iranians had a dilemma that if they hadn't intervened in Syria they would have had to fight this Islamic state on their territory in in so this why today we have the a major operation going on in southwestern Syria bordering Jordan and Israel Jalan Heights yeah now Dara province of Syria has been completely liberated and I read this morning that the operation is completed in about 70 percent of Conetra Conetra is the one which is straddling Golan Heights yes now that is it's acknowledged by everybody that they are Islamic state fighters it's a problematic area and it was supported by Israel yes now you see the the thing is you know we here in India particularly you know we have this notion that Israel is a very important partner for India our at least our ruling elite and our establishment you know claims that you know Israel is a very important partner for India in fighting terrorism now this is a country which is actually sponsoring Islamic state as a proxy absolutely in in Syria and you know lots and lots of weapons have been confiscated during these operations with Israeli markings and you know they provide hospital services yes that they're taken from Syria into Israel from to Jalan and this Iranian website this morning I was reading Fast News Agency they had a report that some of the prominent commanders the Syrian forces knew these commanders they have escaped actually into Israel Israel will send them away later to Jalan they have escaped now into Israel so this is in fact the numbers are about some thousands I'm told yes yes the numbers are pretty large and then the Russians have been saying this all along that this American special forces on eastern border of Syria Syrian Iraqi border one of their main tasks is to give shelter to the Islamic state fighters and keep them incubate the future yes yes yes so coming back to the issue that you raised earlier when President Trump says that Iran's foreign policy is not good they have to change it what they're leaving out is the fact what the US foreign policy in the space area has been and if they don't really intervene on the side of what I would call larger secular policies they're endangering their own country as well no you see the thing is what is taking place can be very very simply put this way that the this project starting from 2011 regime change project in Syria Israelis got into the act in a big way and they had this notion that it's a walkover you know he in no time Assad will flee from there he dug in he fought and now he won that I am not getting into the detailed Russian intervention and all took place but the point is the balance sheet today that battle has been lost now the thing is in that theater that is Syria Iraq together anywhere around 200,000 strong militia who were aligned with Assad's government forces and also with the fighting in Iraq they were trained by the Iranians and the battle harden seven years they've been fighting I know this militia is there now this is a hybrid war no country is attacking Syria it's a hybrid war you're sending in proxies now in this hybrid war Israel's military superiority Israel has been the dominant power because of the sheer military superiority outstripping all other countries in the region that has become irrelevant so you see something like what took place after the 2006 war in Lebanon they went in and then the hospital are resisted and then they didn't know how to withdraw in fact you know and now since then the Israelis have never gone anywhere near Lebanon they don't attack you know because they know that now the same kind of situation is developing in Syria and now look at that country it is in terms of social formation one of the most advanced countries in the Arab world an elite with a cosmopolitan outlook staunchly secular and a plural society that is you say that you know that an al-await minority is disproportionately there but it's not that the regime is just al-await there is a substantial social base even among the Sunnis and so on Christians and so on now you see this kind of a country you know with all the warts and all it was worth preserving in my opinion and it could have been a situation now this young man who was trained as a doctor in UK and he was a westernist his first visit after becoming president of Syria was actually to Paris you know he had a very special feeling towards France and the western world like this so they could have nudged him towards you know opening up and all that and he was in fact he had already embarked on that kind of a thing now they have destroyed this country so his father Hafiz didn't go for any trouble with the Israelis just accepted the occupation and was marking time but I think Bashar will now demand vacation of the occupation so there is a resistance movement going to shape up there this is actually the problem and that is why they have to the force behind it is Iran and that is why Trump has got into the act this is basically a dishonest plea the old argument this I told you this is sophistry this is completely because they have argued about missile which is not included in the nuclear agreement their missile range is far lower than Saudi Arabia and the basic problem they have is missile distance reaches Israel and that's one of the problems they have but still is not a very long-range missile so this whole missile technology is bogus it was not there in the agreement the talk about foreign policy is bogus so it really rests on extra considerations now extraneous considerations none of these this is to bring back the balance of forces in that region in favor of Israel which is shifting otherwise against it is completely shifting and also the core issue of the Palestinian issue is lying there and when this balance shifts like this there is going to be trouble all around then the Israelis will come under compulsion to address the Palestinian issue and you know the whole ideology of Israel and the whole geopolitical agenda behind the creation of Israel everything is this you have to put a question mark there Mr. Wadukumar the other issue really historically looking a country which has a Jewish population of a six and a half million forget for the time being the internal dissension another six and a half million Palestinian population leaving that out can it even hope to control an area today which is a population of 300 million and with countries like Iran population of 80 million just the sheer economic size of these countries are so much at variance does it not change the geo-strategic it is it is it is absolutely that case you know the point is it is only the blank check from the Americans but now they are also there is a problem they are no longer going to be able to come and fight wars and there is a certain kind of retrenchment taking place there and with that you know it's Israel has to really address a very bleak future in my opinion this is all the last act of the bravado the swagger you know this is you're absolutely right this is not sustainable you know the other geo-strategic balance which has shifted post 90 all of soviet union soviet union or the following state Russia the state that takes over russia has withdrawn literally from west asia all of these places now with Russia facing the kind of pressure it has in Crimea and Ukraine it's sort of coming back into international at least into international play shall we say and Syria has been the first test case where they have forced Libya where they did not do much that Syria they have learned lesson and after Libya they didn't want it to fall you know it is it is not because of the not only because of this threat of radical islam and terrorist groups and all that along the russian underbelly it's not only because of that you know you must also probably see this that russians do not want to be caught on the wrong foot like in the cold war era that is ideologically communism versus islam you know this sort of a propaganda by the west it really got entrenched there and therefore they were the antithesis so now what they what they're doing is therefore without being prescriptive they are engaging even islamic countries there number one number two this is a system the russian system today they are avid globalizers you know they are globalizing in a big way so they are picking up for instance railway projects in saudi arabia and they are negotiating s 400 missiles yes and with the ue and now they have a deal with captain of OPEC with saudi arabia on oil oil production and so on you see the the russian involvement is is something that they have brilliantly worked out with a view to seeing that the mistakes of the cold war era are not repeated and today you take syria for example it's a it's a test case they are the only power big power which is on talking terms with all the protagonists that's true they have been talked to israel very closely israel saudi arabia given concessions saudi arabia turkey iran katar even the countries which are supporting the islamic state they have brilliantly managed the relationship so you know the the americans have a problem there also now you know the the thing is and then there is the other player who has appeared on the horizon but with immense potential that is china so you know the when you look at it on the chess board you find a hopeless situation from the american point of view there is a you know basically once you know this kishore mohani said in a in a piece about three four years ago that the basically the problem is the american intellectuals are still unable to reconcile with this thought you know it's surprising because you know in the financial times with the thought that you know that sort of capacity to influence and dictate is no longer there for the americans financial times edward lucas had a lunch with ft it was kissinger on thursday and kissinger mentioned this kissinger mentioned that you know that he would induce you know what trump is doing in certain ways because the point is it is not possible now for the united states to do it all this previous way this is the reference to hilsinki summit but that's the point you know that there you find today also that you know that there is really there is great reluctance to accept that the world is changed that the locus of power is shifted and they don't have the kind of western alliance system any longer operating like this it was actually evident as far back as 2003 when germany and france said that they are not going to come into iraq you know and they had to settle with just uk you know the coalition of the willing so these are all playing out you know they say it's actually markers for the yes that's why i said in the beginning that you know that there are many layers the core is this that they have to dismantle uh they have to firstly they have to stop roll back and destroy iran that is at the core if they want the geo strategic dominance of israel to continue last question do you think it lead to a shooting war with iran do you think that's possible or this is a prelude to coming to a negotiating table and this is an opening gambit by trump let's restart the negotiations but on a different footing you know when you look at that part of it i have extensively dealt with iran you know when they are so many times and i know they are elite you know their mindset and what drives them they are very pragmatic mind you something like half of rohan is cabinet they are people who are trained in american universities and zarif you know he is on twitter with nancy pelosi and others you know and so you know they are all over the place you know as i briefly mentioned earlier their driving force there is this that they want to have their economy revamped and put it on a stable footing because the regime faces a challenge there and they don't want to be caught in a situation of rising expectations that they are unable to fulfill and thereby the legitimacy of the regime getting undermined this is the this is the central issue for them they are not projecting power into other countries and they have not created these situations you take emin for example emin's conflict didn't even like trump and all say that iran is behind it it didn't start yesterday or day before yesterday this is going on for a long time you know this is the second or third time that the saudis are militarily intervened in emin you can remember saudis and the hooties of the same side absolutely so this is yeah they're shifting sands you know so the point is this that the when you come to iran therefore uh to answer your question yes they will deal but the point is they should there should be an enlightened leadership in america not this one dimensional hollow men like at the leadership level like that country has caught today but the saving graces here is that this man is also a businessman president trump is finally realistic tycoon and businessman and uh i doubt if uh you know he will overrule the pentagons advice and order the troops as the commander in chief to go into iran and it's a big country it's you know it's two-third the size of india it's land mass and it's very difficult terrain and going there and occupying that country unthinkable and then not only that before they enter uh iran can be trusted in fact you know to hit back in a way that there are going to be huge casualties there's going to be disruption in the world economy this all these gulf countries they've already said that if they are intimidated they will stop the flow of oil into the world market can you imagine a situation that you know there's oil shortage like that western economies and everything there'll be you know entire global economy absolute global economy will be in turmoil so that the fact that uh trump is there's maybe a possibility in a second term unless this is settled that he may do something like that and i don't think also that the pentagon will really go along with an agenda to wage a war on iran so i think a constructive engagement can take place now if you look back six months back this is not the rhetoric towards north korea yes that you hear today so uh it is quite possible but the main problem is uh then israel will have to understand i that is the main problem because understand means what that it has to address the palestinian issue you see it has to you know behave like a normal state like every month it is going and attacking some with us gaza or debi for yesterday they went and shot they sent missiles into gaza again then to syria so you know this kind of thing cannot happen cannot work that is the main problem is it possible to deal ink israel and iran issue is the challenge and as of now they seem to be linked at least in the us view of the west asian scenario that's a key problem that is that is that is that is where the uh the whole thing has become such a knot you know and of course you have the other issues that despite of the best intentions of people not to go to war war can still take place after all that first world war i think still we should we should not look at it like that because we should there is always a possibility a margin of error is always there but in this particular case i refuse to contemplate a war because simply because it will be such a catastrophe consequences the world will be horrendous thank you ambassador badrik bar to be being with us today and we hope to see you more though your visits to delhi are now infrequent thank you thank you very much it's been my pleasure


For most of us, our childhood home maintains a certain level of mythology, alongside a whole bunch of sentimental attachment thrown in for good measure. As we grow older, most of us tend to move out of our first home, and if we're lucky, maintain a keepsake of it in the form of a picture or something of the sort. For the rest of us, the best we can generally do is pull up what it used to look like from our memories and be reminded of simpler times. All that being said, let's be honest, celebrities aren't normal people. For instance, comedian and actor Mike Epps. Thanks to his monumental success in the field of comedy, he's earned enough money to buy up multiple residences in his hometown of Indianapolis, Indiana. This includes the home he was born and raised in, while also ensuring that the neighborhood that helped shape him benefits from having done so, by repurposing an abandoned crack house and renovating it into a place that's perfect for a young family just starting out. Of course, just because Mike's never forgotten where he came from doesn't mean he isn't willing to shell out a pool million or two, or even three for a quintessential Hollywood home located in the LA neighborhood known as Encino. And with an estimated net worth of over $6 million, it's clear that Mike can afford it. Hey guys, it's Cara the Vampire Slayer back with another exclusive house tour here on Fumas Entertainment, and today we're seeing the properties of Mike Epps, both in Indianapolis and Los Angeles. Don't forget to like, subscribe and hit me up on Instagram if you want to chat. Now let's get into this video. Mike Epps was born in the city of Indianapolis, Indiana on November 18, 1970. As a young kid, Mike would generally split his time between two family homes in the state of Indiana. First, his mother's house in the capital city of Indianapolis where he spent most of the year alongside his eight siblings on the east side of the city along Carlton Street. And his grandparents' home located in Gary, Indiana, which is where Mike would spend his summers as a kid. Over the years, Mike has said that being part of such a large family would lead directly into his career choice because in order to compete with his eight other siblings for his mother's affection, he was always trying to goof off and make her laugh. Eventually, however, this willingness to do anything for a laugh transformed into something a little bit seedier. By the time Mike was a teenager, he was dropping out of high school so that he could start dealing drugs. Considering the fact that his neighborhood held an active crack in in the middle of it, Mike's falling in with the wrong crowd shouldn't come as that much of a surprise. But after spending some time in prison, Mike finally recognized what everyone else around him did from the start. He was a born entertainer, so Mike entered a stand-up contest at an Indiana comedy club to restart his life. Epps was an instantaneous hit. Driven by his success, Mike finally left his home state of Indiana only 80 bucks in his pocket and moved to Atlanta, Georgia to launch his stand-up career. The rest is, as they say, history. But the great thing about Mike is that his difficult upbringing ensured that he never once forgot about where he came from. Even after earning himself some millions, Mike took that money with him back to Indianapolis to reinvest it into his community. For instance, remember that crack house I mentioned earlier? Well, as an adult, Mike bought it up for the low price of $49,000 and immediately set to work renovating it, transforming it into a lovely home that's the perfect place for a new family looking to get themselves established. Upon its completion, Mike took to social media to let everyone know what he had accomplished and challenged other celebrities to hashtag a buyer blockback so as to pay forward all the blessings that have come their way. And he didn't just stop there. Back when Mike was still a relatively young man, his mother lost their family home in the 80s. His family was so heartbroken over what had happened that Mike promised his family he would one day buy it back for her. Well, guess what? That's exactly what he did. After finding success in Hollywood with films like Next Friday and Bait, Mike put some of his first big paychecks towards buying back his original family home right around the year 2000. Since then, Mike has totally renovated his original residents which he intends on leaving to his daughters as a piece of their family legacy. In the meantime, he appears to have turned the spot into a mixture of dance club, movie theater and a fully functional home style kitchen. To be honest, I'm not completely sure that's his place but it definitely matches Mike's personality 100%. Of course, it's not only his family's original block that holds special memories for Mike. Whenever he's in Indiana, he also likes to stop off at the home he used to spend his summers in. His grandparents' old place in Gary. It's unclear if Mike owns this property but looking at how he's situated himself on the fence there, my best guess is that he was stopping by for a look and wanted to remember the moment. Though, it's pretty clear that few celebrities maintain such a strong relationship with where they're from. And that makes everything that Mike's done here all the more refreshing to see. Alright, now that we have a taste of what Mike's original home and neighborhood was like, let's see what he upgraded to after becoming one of Hollywood's most prolific comedians. Mike bought his first big mansion in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Encino for $3.4 million in the late 2000s with the intent of sharing it with his then wife, Michelle McCain Epps. But, what he really wound up sharing it with was his $3 million car collection. Originally built in 1990, this home features an open floor plan that includes not only a media room with a web bar but two libraries alongside five bedrooms and six bathrooms. For those of you keeping track at home, that's a bunch of rooms spread out over 6,828 square feet of space and two different levels. Taking a look at some of the rooms individually, the absolutely gigantic family room seems like it would be better suited for something like a Swiss chalet with its breathtaking wooden beam ceilings. When it comes to the dining room, the interesting fabric of the wallpaper alongside those coffered ceilings are bound to generate some conversation. Then the kitchen is just as nice with a culinary space so massive that nearly every appliance within it comes in pairs. Seriously, it's got two cooktops, two refrigerators, and even two sets of double ovens. Even the master bedroom is about as grand as they come with stylish furniture and a seating area set into a wall of windows that's just perfect for curling up with a good book. Meanwhile, Elkback gives the interiors a run for their money. This is where you could find the swimming pool and spa combo surrounded on all sides by a gorgeous flagstone and some very well-manicured lawns. Now, as gorgeous as this home was, unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be Mike's forever, nor was his wife for that matter. After close to a decade of marriage, Mike and Michelle filed for divorce, offloading this property in the process and selling it for around $3.5 million, which was only the slightest of gains. But Mike wasn't meant to be a single man for long. He found love once more with Oprah Network Executive Kyra Robinson and married her in 2019. While speaking with the Breakfast Club recently, he told them, It did look fast, but you know, I like to be married. I don't like being single. I'm one of those guys. I like to come home to something structured. Some food, a little something, someone to share my day with. Since then, Mike and Kyra have had two children and they even named their daughter after Mike's home state, Indiana. Between that and buying up all those ties to his former home city, is there seriously any comedian that reps their home city harder than Mike Epps? There is, I'd be hard pressed to find them. Alright guys, that's going to bring this latest house tour to a close. What did you think of Mike Epps' former homes? And where do you think the funny man spends most of his days now? Be sure to leave us your thoughts in the comments down below and don't forget to like and subscribe. My name is Kyra. Feel free to follow me on Instagram and I will catch you all in the next video. Bye!


u give them a fair price in order than the other side thank you how we can do it because we're not how you've been doing it not how you're going to do it how we have been doing it is that we we have a supplier we have a middleman right a fruit mixer because we have about 15 different fruits in each in each little glass bottle right so we have to use a fruit mixer who buys fruit and then mixes it and then shifts it up to us right and what we can do is that we can tell them we can make a contract with them a pre-preferential contract that's what it's called saying if you can get the fruit from a lower mangoes you can get their bananas do it then he has to do it that's how we can do it we can't do any kind of contract farming or direct sourcing so that we say that we have to buy from them we're way too small we have 15 different kinds of fruits so how it's working is that we have to make a contract with him saying you buy from there and then we have a very close dialogue between me us we have the the supplier the middleman and then we have the farmer's self a little triangle okay I think his question was though how you arrived at a price how do we arrive at the price well it's again it's it's the the requirements that we set in preferential agreements is a matter of price and quality so you have to meet those requirements and if we have an issue with a farm who which we haven't had but if we would have an issue with a farm who cannot meet our price and demand for that type of quality then we go into a kind of of compromise we have to okay all right we're gonna save a few one last comment you all right you have to yeah just a comment from Malawi yes I know Malawi mangoes yeah and I've been there we've also taken our farmers to just learn about the plantation yeah but then the other issues especially because I know Malawi mangoes as a company and then we have like places some community members who work in the company in the farms so the issue would be that probably Malawi mangoes would also try like places some other initiatives how to make sure that the small holder farmers are benefiting from let's say the whole setup because in some ways it's like you know being a company these small holder farmers are left out and that's why probably you'd see that in those issues of like how do we work together there have been like some of the NGOs that are directly involved in those there have been like some resistances so yes so that that issue of how do we make sure that the small holder farmers or the rural community is really benefiting from the initiatives probably that has to be well I think I think as a as a very very basic and primitive answer because again I'm not I'm not there on the ground and you would know a lot more about this if you talk to the small holders there I've just visited numerous times but I think I think just the fact that you actually can you can make agreements and contracts with at least 6 000 farmers I think that is definitely benefiting them and the fact that it's spreading that fast I've seen other other cases particularly in Ethiopia where it's been really hard to convince the small holders to change their crowds particularly into passion fruit because it takes a while it takes longer for it to actually to actually grow and be able to produce it and like females have divorced their men for making that decision so on like big big big issues here but I think particularly in Malawi the fact that you can you can you can convince so many people within such a little time I would say that that the mechanism is that it's that it's that it's worth it whether there are people outside of that that would like to get into it I think that's very interesting and I think which you know that's a that's just a good potential yes for sure okay thank you very much okay excellent funnily enough I'm not going to sum up and present any conclusions here I'd just like to ask you to please fill in our form here for evaluation of the seminar and and then after you've done that job then we would like to invite you to a sandwich wrap a lunch mingle here outside the room but that's your meal ticket okay and a big thanks to everyone and all of you that were online too and we streamed too for attending today I think all of us have gotten renewed energy and will move forward with nutrition issues in the future thank you okay yeah I have to fill it out


What's good y'all? It's Chris from jessuscasebrakes.com doing our first of two fillers for the Bowman Baseball 2022 hobby case break People I'd see a rena division number four. This is 2021 top's chrome platinum anniversary one box break rena team number five With at the start giving away our six free spots. We'll do a few randomizers here We're giving away six spots at the top then we'll do our teams and our Our players and then at the very very last we'll give away those two top Spots in a For the Bowman rena division. All right, so let's start off with our our players So here is our list from Matthew Michael Taylor Matthew and Simon pretty sure y'all getting this done. We'll start off this six Top spots will get the last six spots in this break. Good luck two and two four times So here we go with this one first four times. Good luck. Here's one two Three and last one for member top six names Times so Matthew down to Taylor Appreciate y'all get involved y'all. Oh, let's go Simon gets in Matthew gets in Michael gets in Matthew again Taylor and Matthew. So everyone gets a free spot nice Our four players get in. Thanks again y'all our arrows. Now. Let's grab All 30 now our fresh dice Our players now Matthew Taylor Matthew Michael Matthew and Simon getting in and then our team. So this dice roll This fresh one will be for both. Good luck three and two five times five times now For both. Good luck again. One two three four and last one five That's five times Matthew down to Taylor My biggest personal pole. I hit that as I come. That's a few some pretty good ones Our fifth our second randomizer in this one five times again. Good luck one two three four and last one five You know five times The rays down to the D-backs Grab this you go from Taylor down from the tail in the D-backs down to Matthew with the nationals The last about which from Simon getting the man next nice Um, I hit that Super Bowl gems Payton Manning here. That was a pretty cool one one second. It's like why isn't it popping up?  That was a really really cool one I think those are kind of the two those two are my my big big ones. Let's print it out though and here is Our box platinum anniversary. It's the hobby Chromado It's a very nice product Hobby or late. I think they've both been pretty good Fair list number five Taylor in the D-backs Down to Matthew and the nationals, but I would say probably the Peyton. Oh Or the Josh Allen shield logo auto from flawless, I was I was doing pretty well with the flawless on here And on me and on the Instagram, you know, I think it's kind of hard to miss on flawless But thanks again to all those who got in on this break Remember at the end We do one more randomizer and those top two names Get into our random division Bowman baseball hobby case break number four Craig Kimberland night here. It's too else those two five. I'm fine with Craig in the three We're on a lead another guy on a potentially dangerous Orioles team in the next couple years All the prospects the guys called up now Mountie Adelaide Donner Henderson Whole Some sneaky guys like What do you want to have Devontae Smith? That's the wrong sport All right, good luck our chrome on the box Gregory Soto red cracked ice 84 out of 100 for the Deirdre Tigers Matthew Shera 2021 All-Star for the Tigers Silver Johnny Damon Mike Trout. He's your Sanchez Decent rookie. Wow. Nice Victor Robles On the gold seven out of ten The sharp-looking card here with the black background and the gold border very nice Washington Nationals Matthew Shera once again It's a slick looking card seven out of ten Mac silvers with the branding would drop there in the Nick Heath snack here. Oh I mean, I think they're gonna. I think they're gonna resign Juan Soto is a Ryan Mountcastle Bought some more Orioles nice work you from last year Matthew Shera once again Gold auto nice Brad Keller gold auto for the Kansas City Royals Gregory Soto. Oh, yeah, definitely 23 out of 50 on the Brad Keller Royals that is going to Michael Oceum. I thought the Tigers were gonna be Decent maybe a third-place team, but I don't know hitting is pretty anemic There's only so much rather than green can do what he had called up silver rod crew to mess up the card Ryan Leather's rookie Mitch White rookie Marcello Zuna My bird coin going Kim Billy Williams Old score for the Cubs Hall of Famer Those are the non numbered parallels silver Roger Maris This last time down here, then we can do the giveaway at the very very end and a silver Bobby Dolby We'll see that one up to still has got some good pop for the Red Sox. All right, that's the box Let's get to the one fun stuff though. Yeah Let's grab our names from Taylor down to Matthew our fresh dish Dice and our fresh list Top two names in this are going to go into our bowman hobby break. Good luck everyone. We roll this Five and five ten times Good luck y'all. Thanks again. Here's one two three four five halfway six seven eight Nine and last one ten top two spots on the y'all. Good luck ten times So from three down to 30 Not so happy time. Thanks for getting in. It's gonna be Matthew S at three number two is Taylor with a spot that they won and Taylor Wow Taylor Now owns four of the six spots Taylor Congrats again Matthew Michael and Simon. Thanks for getting in y'all very much appreciate it I'll be one of what we wrote this get the other filler on the website right now And we'll be back with more breaks very very soon just because breaks.com. Bye. Bye


Still looking for a song? Still looking. Ow. I'm going through the Guardians of the Galaxy playlist. Oh, that's a... I'm waiting for just a super good, just a big song. I'm wanting to do a handstand in 2021. It's a resolution, so I'm just doing it against the wall to get my arm strength. I haven't done this test before. This is a new one. Oh. The things we do these days compete. But it's worth it. What'd you have for breakfast? I had eggs on toast, hummus, avocado, then a bowl of cereal, and then I'll... Oh, nice. One hit at a time, brother. Stay nice and small in the air. Be aggressive.  How's this going? Yeah, good. Scotty should be good. But I've got to get to work. I'll see you guys in a little bit. Settle some stuff, brother.  That was great. A little sketchy off the start. I was like, I have to recover. I know it's a lot.  Thank you. Definitely nervous. You lose that feeling. I know. Right? And you got it back, man. You earned it.  So it in the work. Welcome back.  So we're on this COVID testing line. It's going to take a minute. Do you want to go to the Vogue and get the ingredients for the banana bread? So we're in the line. We tested two days ago. Got our test results back so we could register. And now we're doing another test now, a rapid test, just so it stays updated throughout the week, so they know, obviously, we're not positive. So we can keep riding the contest. This is the line. It looks like they are going up the nose. Easy work. Thanks again for everyone for calling in for our pre-event COVID safety training. But we still need to make sure we're all being careful, avoiding all forms of physical contact, whether it be hugs, high fives, handshakes, etc. And making sure to always wear masks. Usually in cold weather, I'd eat my sandwich with my gloves, but I've been using my gloves as protection from COVID. I'm coming up in the public spaces, touching everything. So I can't do that today. My hands are freezing.  F*** no! And somebody threatened the mountain to close it down if the competitors didn't keep their face masks on. So all day they were looking for people to f*** and just make an example of and stuff. And apparently the Canton is really threatening locks to shove it down. We will hold this TC meeting every night at 6 o'clock through this online platform. This is due to the restrictions we have from the county government. She's got my text message from my test yesterday. COVID-19 urg-ness. Negative. We're clear, ladies and gentlemen. So this situation doesn't fly anymore. So we have to use these certified face masks. See how it feels. I might not even have to put it over my head, let's see. So you have to wear this mask in the contest? I think they want us to wear it up in the start area but we can't really breathe in this thing. So when we're doing our competition runs we're obviously breathing pretty heavy.  As long as I'm covered. That's fair enough. I've just been given a lot of basically dos and don'ts of filming the contest and it's going to be really hard. Because of COVID there's a lot of restrictions on where I can go and where I can't go in terms of filming. So it's going to be very difficult but we'll see how we go. There you go. Do less. I've said that before, right? Do less. Yeah, I mean basically it really is going to be like you just sit into it and just be like... ... Ready? Yep. Yeah, just get used to the light. Get off me, man. Bingo. Where you gotcha? I gotcha.  Imagine if I trained this year. No, I know, dude. It's just what we talk about, right?  No, I was expecting it.  I mean, they got the tricks and we've got work to do and I'm actually really pumped. Check one, too. Hello, my name is Scott. We just finished the lights open. I was second. I was first loser, but that's okay because now I'm fired up. Thank you. Cheers, boys. I'm obviously still great exactly where we're at. Yeah, nothing better than going into an off-season and feeling the way that I am. I mean, we've still got stuff to do next week. But that's the great thing. Thank you. Thanks for my half pipe lesson in there. Scott was teaching me to ride the pipe, James. Paul's getting up there.