Narcissists are actually very weak. A lot of people think that narcissists are powerful and strong as though they have a lot of energy and it may appear that way at times but they're actually very weak and I will prove this to you in this video. They're unable to withstand force, pressure and wear. They lack moral and intellectual power and they lack confidence and determination. They're easily influenced and worried by other people which is why whenever you're around them you will feel like you have to protect them as though you have to keep them safe from danger or harm. Like they're this threatened species because they are. They were never meant to make it this far because they're not independent. They depend on their sources of supply where they require and demand limitless special treatment, limitless admiration, validation and importance which feeds their sense of entitlement and self-centeredness which is why they will deliberately find or create situations where they are the center of attention. They will use a false character to manipulate people to bring them into their realm because what they're really seeking is support and assistance. They can't manage themselves successfully on their own and once you're involved with them you will find that they're too much to bear. They're more than you can handle. They're overwhelming. They're insupportable. They're like their own worst enemy because everything has to be about them. It's like you can't entertain anything outside of them even for a moment. They need constant attention because they never develop these emotional faculties from within to where they're able to sustain themselves. So when the time comes for them to be brave and tough to deal with a difficult or unpleasant situation it's too overwhelming for them. It's too much stress. It's too taxing for them mentally. It's too physically and mentally demanding even though it may well be the only thing they have to deal with in their lives because as we know they don't like too much responsibility but even if they just have a single task to deal with it's like they can't even do it. They feel mentally drained and it's not the result of anything external. They lack the mental and emotional capacity to deal with things so they end up being burnt out. They experience mental collapse caused by stress which they then take out on the person closest to them because they can't carry the weight on their own. They're too much to bear and even they don't want to deal with themselves. They want to pass themselves off to you and let you deal with it and while they hold you to such unrealistic expectations what you're demanding from them is relatively small in comparison and yet they just can't do it because they don't have the means. It's like trying to tow something in a small car with a small engine. If you're towing something heavy it's going to tax the engine. It's going to cause too much stress and it's going to damage it but with narcissists they can't even handle something small. They can't handle a simple task on their own. They can't even regulate their own emotions which makes them very dangerous people to be around. People who are emotionally strong are very safe people to be around but it's weak people who act nice and as though they can handle things. Who are actually the most dangerous because it's just a recipe for disaster. At some point they're going to explode and then you're left to deal with the consequences of their actions. You're left to clean up their mess because they can only pretend to be nice. They're actually not very pleasant or agreeable at all. There's a lot of things going on beneath the surface. Things which they haven't dealt with or resolved due to a lack of self-reflection and self-awareness they don't even know who they are. They haven't even taken the time to get to know themselves because they're too busy using external sources to regulate their emotions and it's like this elephant in the broom this thing that no one talks about because you know that they don't want you to talk about it but it's always there and you know it's there because you feel like you always have to sugarcoat things.  You're extremely cautious about your words and actions because any little thing could set them off so you end up holding yourself to these impossible expectations and the hopes that it will make them feel more comfortable.  You have to be in two places at the same time. You have to do two things at once. You have to be two steps ahead of them. You have to be the soul seeing eye. You have to be God. You have to be the all-knowing and all-seeing. You have to be present everywhere but at some point you learn that's what they want. They need you to be with them at all times. They need you to check in with them. They need you to tell them your plans. They need to know what you're doing and who you're with. Nothing can be unpredictable or unforeseeable where they may be left feeling uncertain or doubtful because their identity and sense of self depends on where you are and what you're doing. They see you as an extension of themselves so they need to have full control of you. They need to feel like they can pull on the brains when they need to which is why at times they will devalue you. They will try to keep you down and if it gets too much for them they will even discard you and this is all coming from their weakness and fragility. Even after they discard you they will try to find someone else to support them until they realize that person isn't perfect too and then they will hoover you. They will try to come back to you until they assume that it's all over for you.   They lack confidence and determination and they're easily influenced and worried by other people. It doesn't take much for them to see you as a threat because they're very weak and fragile people but they hold this stance of them being moral and righteous people when in fact they will cheat, lie and steal. They will deceive you. They will future fake. They will deny, project, blame shift and gaslight. They will keep a code of silence where they expect you to act like nothing is wrong and see them as perfect and they will do all of this because they are weak. All of these behaviors stem from weakness which is why it is only low value people who conduct these behaviors. High value people don't need to do that because they can advance by being honest, righteous and moral. Weak low value people cannot do that. They have to cheat, lie and steal. They have to deceive because they lack in the power to perform. They're lacking the mental and emotional capacity to achieve anything on the road. And even if you work your fingers to the bone on their behalf that still isn't good enough for them because they're easily threatened and intimidated. They feel inferior to you.  They will desire to tear you down because they need to domesticate you. They need to keep you in this box where they're able to control you. But it's not really you that they're trying to control. They're trying to regulate their emotions through you because they view you as an extension of themselves.   So everything they do is designed to protect their fragile sense of self. It's why they devalue you. It's why they have to keep you down. It's why they eventually discard you and then come back with a hoover. It's why they cheat, lie and steal. It's why they can't leave you alone. It's why they smear your name and build networks against you because they're emotionally bankrupt. They're emotionally void. There's no place from which they can draw love, kindness or empathy because they're broken damaged people, which is why they lack value, usefulness and normal function.  As though they're guided by some external control device, rather than being something real and authentic. So even when you try to talk to them and understand them, their communication seems rehearsed. As though it's nothing more than a public performance. As though they're just stating a list of points that have been made many times before, because they have these broken and balanced perspectives, these experiences that inflicted damage on their psyches to where they like steadiness and soundness and judgment. Because in their childhood, they were taught that these things are okay. They were taught that it's okay to be weak. It's okay to like the force of character to hold their own decisions, beliefs or principles. It's okay to like enthusiasm and energy, because someone else will take care of it for you. Someone else will be there to save the day. So they've never had to stand up for anything in their entire lives. Whether it's for someone else or for themselves. They've never had to step in. Because they've always been surrounded by enablers who protected their distorted reality, people who told them that they don't have to do anything, which resulted in them lacking character, discipline and willpower, this firmness of purpose towards something positive and productive, which every person should have within. But they don't have that. Instead, they have to cheat, lie and steal in order for them to survive. They have to build networks that support their narrative. Because the reality is that these types of people are not even meant to be alive. They were never even meant to make it this far. And deep down, they know it. Which is why they have to feed off other people. Because they can't generate anything life sustaining from within. They can't sustain themselves or they can't sustain you. Instead, all they can do is drain you of your life in an energy. Because they're weak. When you are around a strong and powerful person. You will feel strong and powerful. When you're around someone who feels weak and fragile. You will feel the exact same way. Unless your strength and confidence is great enough to pull them into your reality. But with narcissists, that's very difficult to do. No matter how strong and confident you may feel.  Because they are extremely negative and pessimistic. Deep down, they already know that they were never meant to make it this far in life. They already know that they are doomed. And when you're constantly around that type of energy, it's very difficult. It will suffocate you. It will cause you to feel trapped or oppressed. Because they've already given up on themselves. They gave up a long time ago. So instead of trying to manage themselves and become a better person. They choose to manage other people. When they were never meant to have any source of power to begin with. Because if you look at them, you will see that they're not doing anything productive. They're not leading people anywhere good. They're not inspiring people. And in fact, they're just bringing everyone down with them. Because that's all they can do. They can't uplift people. Because they have no fight left in them. They already gave up on themselves a long time ago. Which is why they're so weak. Because our power is meant to come from within. It's not meant to come from controlling other people. That's just an illusion of power. It's just something they're taken from another person and claiming it as their own. It's not something that they're generating from within. Which is why they have to isolate you and try to keep you to themselves.  You're keeping them together. You're making them appear normal and sane. And this is why they have to keep a code of silence. Because they're terrified that you will come to this conclusion. And then you will recognize that they have no power of their own. Which means that the illusion will fall apart. And then they won't be able to manipulate you after that. Which is where their power comes from. Which is why they need you to pretend like nothing is wrong. They need you to stay down and keep quiet. They need you to see them as perfect. Which is nothing more than a feeling that they need you to have. Because a logical explanation would pose that they threat to the illusion. And there is nothing outside of the illusion. Because that's all they've ever worked on. They never worked on developing their true character. They never built the foundation or structure. One day they just decided that this is who they're supposed to be. They never did the work. They never felt the calling from a higher power or purpose. It's all self-serving. And it's self- serving because they're weak. Because they like character. Which is why they're so envious and jealous of you. Because they know that you have done the work. They recognize in you from the very beginning. And then knowingly to them it was your isolation that made you the person that you are today. That's why you're strong and they're weak. Because they're addicted to people. They constantly have other sources of supply. They never spend any time with themselves. So there's no time for them to develop their character. And because it's so underdeveloped. They wouldn't even know where to start. It's too overwhelming for them. So instead they target you and try to control you. As they take bits and pieces of your identity away from you. Which they use to construct their false self. And they use that to try to make you envious or jealous of them. When the reality is that they spend all of this time around you. It could only have ever come from you. Because you are their main source of influence. They have nothing more significant outside of you. They have no higher purpose. Their purpose is grounded in the false reality. Which is why by the end of it it's almost like they become the second rate version of you. Rather than becoming anything of their own.  They're just taking pieces of you with them wherever they go. They're not developing anything of their own. Which is why people in general are so weak and easily influenced these days. Because no one is stepping in to empower people's individual identity. People are telling you to be this or be that. Instead of telling you to find your own way and do what works for you. Which is exactly what narcissists do. Because they want to control you. They see you as an extension of themselves. So they want you to be just like them.  Because they understand that your true power comes from within. Which is why they need to keep you at their source of supply. Because they know that without you. By this point they probably would have gone insane. They can't survive without supply. Because they have no higher purpose or higher calling. There's no incentive for them to do what's right. Because they abandoned themselves a long time ago. So they already know they're doomed. They chose to be selfish and greedy instead of having empathy for other people. And that is what made them weak. Because what you give out is what you get back. Which is why they have to build these networks. Because their entire lives they were selfish. They only cared about themselves. So now they have to fabricate these stories to build a network where they are protected. Where they are empowered by other people. Who assume that they're telling the truth. Or who may doubt them but choose to go along with it anyway. Because it's the only way they can make up for an entire life of only caring about themselves. They have to build a false reality. Where they rob people of their identity. Where people become agents to a joint purpose and a false reality that doesn't make any sense. Because that's the only way that the narcissists can harvest their power. They can't generate it from within because they're like empathy. They don't care about anyone but themselves. As within so without. The outside world is a reflection of our inner world. So if we don't love and respect other people. It makes it impossible for us to love or respect ourselves. And narcissists have never shown empathy for other people. So they wouldn't even know where to begin. They would have to begin by taking accountability for the things they did in the past. But they have so many skeletons in the closet. They wouldn't know where to start. And they know that if they came out. It would get real and no one would accept them. So there's no incentive for them to act right. It's like they almost have no choice but to continue on this path. Because they already know that they shouldn't even be alive. They should never have made it this far. Because they only got this far in life by cheating and deceiving people. Rather than doing anything on their own. They manipulate and control people these tools or toys which they hold on to. Which they see as a source of power. When in actuality they are disempowered because they have to resort to manipulative tactics. Instead of being authentic and generating their power from within. But they see these tools as something that will protect their fragile sense of self. As something that will protect their weaknesses and insecurities. Where they develop these unhealthy Covid and defence mechanisms. Which results in them acting like an unruly child who always has to get their way. Even though they never did anything to earn it. So they placed you in this parental role. Where you are meant to help them to grow and develop. Where you are responsible for their mental, emotional, physical, spiritual and social development. Where you are left to give direction and pose rules to use discipline, set limits, establish and follow through with consequences. But at the same time they don't want you to have any power. Because they need to have the power in order to sustain their false character and the illusion. And if you had the power it would completely destroy it. Which is why they assign you to these character roles to try to take your power away from you. Because that's what they use to sustain the false reality. Without that the entire thing would fall apart. And then they would just be laying in the rubble days that confused. Which is why they hold on to it so nearly and dearly. To where it almost becomes like their religion. This pursuit or interest which they follow with great devotion. And they give a great deal of their time and energy to it. Because deep down I think they know it's the only thing they've got. They have nothing else outside of it. Because they never took the time to establish anything real or authentic. So after some time it's like the false character replaces the underdeveloped true self. It becomes who they actually are. And that's when it's like they can't even hide it. They become more overt.  Which is often the result of their network of flying monkeys and enablers. Because by that point they can do whatever they want and know they're going to get away with it. Because there's nothing to keep them in check. They never built a character which had the intrinsic values or morals. It was purely self-serving. And because they're so selfish and greedy there's really nothing they won't do. If they believe they're going to get something out of it. Because they're weak they lack discipline and direction. Which is why they have to direct control you. As within so without. When people lack control and direction within themselves. They feel the need to control and direct other people. If you feel strong and secure within yourself. You feel no need to control anyone. And that's what love is. Love is freedom. Love is about letting go. But these individuals have no love in their hearts. Because they lacked empathy from the very beginning. Which means that there was never anything for them to develop a work on. By default all they can do is take from other people to sustain their false character. And they think that's living. When in reality they're not even alive. They don't even feel alive. Which is why they have to build networks of flying monkeys. And have constant sources of supply. Because it's the only way they can feel like they are alive. They can't feel alive on their own. They lack passion and purpose. There's nothing keeping them together. Which is why we never got around them. It's like they fall apart. Because what you have is what they're missing. It's something they can't generate from within. But it's also something they can't receive or experience. And yet it's something that they still decided to be a part of. And it is for this reason that you have to be their parent. Because they lack direction and control within themselves. So they need you to guide and wreck them. But at the same time they have to control you. But whenever you're around them you will feel like you have to baby them. As though you're dealing with a child.  So they want to manage and control you. Which is why they don't like it when you question or confront them. Unless they can use it to get supply. They don't like it when you're looking for answers. Because they already know that they have something to hide. They cannot react logically. They cannot give you a reasonable explanation for their behavior. Because they already know that would expose them. So everything has to be about your feelings or emotions. They have to intimidate you or become passive aggressive.  Because a rational argument would completely destroy it. So they have no choice but to remain emotional whenever they're around you. Because that's the only way that they can get their rocks off. They can't do that if it's just two adults having a sensible conversation. They have to resort to feelings, insults and attacks. Because although they're heavily dependent on you. They're also seeking independence from you. They're trying to detach but they can't. Because they never fully attached to you.   And that is what they will hold on to. And they hold on to it for dear life because they need it. There's nothing inside of them. They have a void. And they need you to fill it so that they can feel whole and complete. Even if it's just for a moment. So that they can feel like they have a higher mission or purpose. But that doesn't mean that you can be their friend.  They secretly admire and respect your independence. But it's you and not them so they want to destroy it. Because they want to prove to themselves that they are strong and powerful. Even though that may never be the case. But they gave up on reality a long time ago. So they will happily settle for a force reality where they are the price. But you will never be able to connect to them. You will never be able to get through to them. Even though it may seem like you're getting somewhere. You're actually not. That's still just a part of the game. They will never understand your perspective because they lack empathy. And they're more concerned with their own interests and needs. So they will never be able to understand. They may recognize that you are a healthy and productive person. So they will only use closure and validation as a means to further manipulate you and lead you astray.  Because that's all that they can do. They're weak. Strength is the willingness to accept other people's ideas and perspectives. To accept that other people have a different way of living. Which is something that narcissists cannot do. Because everything has to be all about them. Yet at the same time they have a fragile sense of self and they live in a false reality.  Because deep down they already know that their character and reality is not real. And they know it's not real because it doesn't produce anything good. If it produced something good the science will be there. It will produce success over time. But it doesn't because what they're doing is not right. Yet they continue to repeat the same things again and again. Because they've lost their minds. Creating a false reality is an extreme action to take. And it is done out of desperation. Desperate people do desperate things. And as Albert Einstein once said the definition of anxiety is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. But that's just where these people are in the minds. They're stuck on a loop because they're weak. Only those who possess great strength and willpower are able to break the pattern. But they lack discipline and control. So even if they could do that it would only last for a short period of time. And it would only be used to manipulate you. They just haven't got it. Then nothing like us. And deep down they already know it. Which is why they do what they do. And for these reasons you will never be able to connect to them. You cannot connect to a weak person. It takes strength and courage to face things head on. And that's just something they can't do.  They already know there's no hope for them. Which is why you will never be able to love them. And they will never be able to love you. Because they see love and vulnerability as a weakness. They can't be vulnerable.  And as though they're exposing themselves to danger or harm. Which should reveal to you exactly who they are. Because they're constantly seeking intelligence. They're constantly seeking to understand things that they don't understand. They're constantly trying to protect their fragile sense of self. By not letting them love. By not showing empathy to those who may be less fortunate. And it results in the becoming very paranoid and hyper-vigilant. Where they believe that people are able to get them. Because they already know they've done people dirty. It's why they build these networks. It's why they're constantly looking for new supply. Because they're just wondering when is it going to catch up to them. When is their ride going to come to an end. Because they know that what goes up must come down. They know that they will eventually experience a fall from grace. And they need to have something to fall back on. Because they already knew that what they were doing was right all along. They know that nothing good stems from weakness. Unless you're around someone who is strong. Which is why they're constantly in survival mode and they make you their parent or caretaker. While they become this unruly, rebellious child that you have to protect and take care of. They act out in an attempt to show courage and strength. But it never lasts because they want to take your power from you.  When it doesn't make any sense. Because although they demand and expect that you take on this parental role. And you give them direction and pose rules and use discipline. They don't want you to have any power or responsibility. They don't want you to respond to the best of your ability. Because they don't want to change. They want to stay weak. Because they're quite comfortable with the way things are. Maybe at one point in their lives they wanted to be strong. But they gave up a long time ago. They have no fighting them now. They have the chained elephant syndrome. Where they remain tied to bad past experiences. Which is the result of childhood trauma. They don't try again because they're holding onto negative experiences. Which holds them back from the real possibilities of the present. That could completely transform their lives. And this makes them very dangerous. Because although they may have given up on themselves. And doing anything with their own lives. They will sacrifice people for the sake of them giving them more power. But it actually results in them having less power. Because it's self-serving. So it's actually disempowerment. Because the power they take is also the power they give away. They're not using it for a meaningful purpose. So it doesn't last a result in anything good. Narcissists are weak. And that makes some very dangerous people to be around. Strong people are not weak. Because they don't give up. They keep fighting for what they know is right. They spread love instead of hate and animosity. But weak people are quick to throw in the towel. You do one thing wrong and they will devalue you and turn against you.   But you need to stand for yourself. By realizing that you can be better. And although you may be down right now it's only because you're around the wrong people.  If you were in the right environment you would be able to grow and develop. And that's where we differ from Narcissists. They believe that things cannot change will be better. They may have told you you'll never be anything. They may have told you you'll never be good for anyone after they're gone. And that may be true for them. Maybe they can't change. Maybe they can't be better. But it doesn't have to be true for you. They don't believe in you because they don't believe in themselves. And that is why they remain stuck. They stay weak. But you can find strength in knowing that we are not the same as Narcissists. We can change and grow and become the best versions of ourselves. And they're not going to like it. Because it just reminds them that we are different. It reminds them that we are strong. And they are weak. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit the subscribe button to receive notifications. If you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me.narc-survivor. You can book a one-on-one with me on my website. It's Narc-Survivor at the Cudit UK. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.


What's up everybody Jason here for jazby's case race comm this is our last filler We needed to sell out to give away the last 10 spots an optic choice baseball with this 2021 mosaic baseball Hobby one pack break number 24 random teams and first we're gonna do the break We're gonna randomize because my names and teams distribute the hits out then at the end of the break We'll take the original 30 names that I bought in Rerandomize them with a new dice roller and customers in the top 10 1 3rd of you guys get into the main break Which will be coming up next guys So good luck. Here's the dice roller roll up boom Four to one five times. Good luck. Here we go one two three four Five Joshua down at Daniel five times one two three Four of the Miami Marlins. I said six was you got guys number no trades. I mean just Alphatize it Order it up make it look good Jermaine Jared Kalanick. I guess let's switch scenes last hanging given away roll it Six and a four ten times. Good luck. Top ten get in one two three four five six seven eight nine Ten. All right, so Jonathan you're in James Carl Kevin Carl Daniel Brandon Jonathan Jonathan and Carl There you go. Oh There you go. Congratulations guys coming up next is the break itself. Good luck everybody


So, good morning to all of you and welcome to this next session on ISTE workshop on research methods and educational technology. Before we proceed, let us just do a quick status check. This is what we have 6357 participants who registered, but only some 4900 who submitted the first assignment. That 4900 has now come down to 2054 as this number of submissions for the current assignment which is the idea proposal submission. And subsequently we expect that many of you will continue to be there in the workshop and just get a quick feel of what are the exit points. The key exit point is submission of the study planning submission assignment which is one week from today about a week from today and that is the point where certification is possible and it is important to remember that not doing these intermediate assignments and directly submitting something for the study planning assignment is not good enough to earn a certificate. Okay, so with that let us move on to quickly recap what have we done so far. So, this workshop as we saw in the first session is about ET research and the workshop is about how you solve some teaching learning problem in your class. So, that is what the idea proposal and idea planning templates that you have been working with are. Okay, so quickly to recap what is educational technology, there are two aspects. One is the technology for education and the other is the technology of education and right now we are focusing more on the technology of education rather than building new technologies for education. And this workshop is a journey from being an ET practitioner who teaches students and facilitates their learning to becoming an ET researcher who conducts systematic studies to get data about whether the ideas are working and what route are we taking, recall that we said that there are no fast lanes or shortcuts, we cannot simply listen to lectures, we have to do the activities and finally we have to challenge ourselves to go beyond the obvious ideas. So, some of you may recall our mentioning the theories that are underlying this workshop because now you also have to start thinking in terms of the theories that are underlying your own work. So, the theories that are underlying are one is spiral curriculum which basically means that we will be revisiting the same idea in greater and greater depth throughout the workshop as we proceed along with the workshop. So, as a pre-workshop submission you submitted beginning of an idea as your idea proposal submission you have worked it out in more detail as your study planning template you are going to work it out in further detail and that same idea is going to go ahead and become your full-fledged paper. So, that is the spiral curriculum and the other one is active learning which is basically saying that we have to do the activities and that is when you can get the actual benefit. So, coming to our journey at a glance this slide may not be visible to most of you. Nevertheless we have thought it would be a good idea to just put it so that you can get to see all the stuff in one go. So, it will be posted on Moodle and each of these rectangular boxes are the items that you are creating and these ovals are the items that we are doing in the workshop or on Moodle. So, Feb 2nd workshop these are the guidelines that were given to you these are the in workshop activities that you did and these are the Moodle resources that were posted and as a result of which on Feb 2nd the main activity that you did was evaluating your own assignment for strong paper features. Similarly, today you will be starting to fill out the study planning template proposal of your idea and again there will be guidelines and in workshop activities and Moodle resources which are posted to help you with the same. So, this is a slightly more detailed summary of what happened on Feb 2nd. Once again I am not going to read this out it is just for reference for you later on when you go back and look at what did you learn in this workshop and all that. So, we did talk about what is a research paper how to evaluate a research paper for strength and weaknesses and we did talk about how to evaluate your own idea. So, workshop slides were posted on Moodle and the videos about reading research papers and doing literature survey was also posted on Moodle. Similarly, there is a slide for what we are expecting to do today. Once again you do not need to read this this is there mostly for information for ease of recall later on beyond the workshop ok. So, coming to stuff that you need to pay attention to. So, the key thing is what are referees looking for. So, we saw that referees are looking for these 4 or 5 items novelty positioning soundness evidence and so on. So, we looked at novelty and positioning in detail in the first session on Feb 2nd and there have been subsequent queries on this on Moodle also what is novelty, how do I do positioning, how do I find out if there is prior work and all that. So, we will take that up very briefly today before proceeding. So, what exactly is meant by novelty? So, if you look into the dictionary the definition is the quality of being new, unique, original, innovative or unusual. So, your paper or your idea has to qualify for one of these adjectives ok. So, what has to be novel or what has to be new or what has to be unique about what you are doing. So, there are 3 options that you can follow one is either your problem has to be new in which case you are asking an entirely new research question. So, one example of this could be that there is some new technology which has been invented and you are the first to carry out a study on that on its effectiveness use in the classroom ok. So, some of the cutting edge research work falls in this category. The other next category is the novelty in your solution. So, in this case the problem may be known, but your solution strategy is novel. So, you are solving the problem in a different way from the prior work and in the third case your domain could be new. So, both the problem and the solution are known and have been tried in some other domains and you are adapting that solution to your own context. For example, good example of this is the technique called peer discussion which we are using in this workshop. So, it was invented in a different domain in physics education research and we have been adapting it in various other disciplines have been adapting that same idea and trying to see how effective is that idea in their domain. So, the key point to remember here is that this is the degree of strength to weakness of your novelty. So, it is strongest if you are able to find a novel problem and it is weak if your novelty is in the fact that ok nobody has done it for this particular topic and I am going to do it for that topic ok. So, this actually leads to one of your Moodle queries which is can a non-innovative strategy be developed into a strong research paper. So, the answer to that is yes, but there is a big provided there and it is provided your idea is positioned well ok. So, that leads us to this question of what exactly is meant by positioning. So, now if you look at the dictionary meaning of positioning it states that it is a situation in relation with respect to others. So, how do you stand with respect to others? So, there are two things that you want to keep in mind when you do positioning you have to do both of these. One is you have to show analysis of related prior work to bring out the gaps. So, you have to find papers that have addressed a problem similar to yours, you have to find papers that have a solution similar to yours. And you have to show that there is a gap which these papers have not yet addressed and also show that your solution addresses any some of these gaps ok. So, once again the point to remember here is as the novelty of your problem or your solution decreases the accuracy of your positioning must increase ok. So, if you do not have high degree of novelty there and you do not have accurate positioning then the chances of getting accepted is very low ok. So, how do we ensure accuracy of positioning, how to do accuracy of positioning? So, that brings us to this recall from what we saw in the previous session you want to be able to explain the relation to other work clearly ok. So, these were the various categories and these were the examples that we saw of what is awful positioning to what is good positioning to what is desirable positioning ok. So, we should aim to fall in either the good at least the good if not the better category of positioning our work ok. So, we should be able to compare with existing prior work and to be able to say what is it slightly different that we are doing and how much improvement we are getting in our results what is it that that work is not able to do that our work can do and all those comparisons have to be explained in the positioning part of your work ok. So, let us come back to a one line summary of what is a referees job. So, as I mentioned in the previous session the referees job is not to find reasons to accept your paper or to say that you have done a great job or pat you on the back the referees job is to find reasons to reject your paper. So, not doing all the parts required for a paper that is novelty positioning soundness and evidence means that it is wasted time and effort for both of you both you and the referee mean you may have done three out of these which would have taken up 75 percent of your time not doing the additional 20 percent is going to prove expensive both to you and to the referee ok. The second thing to remember is that this order is important. So, even if your work is sound it can get rejected if it is not positioned properly ok. So, this is a very common pitfall that most beginners fall into especially at PhDs to stage we feel that we have done a lot of work have done this experiment we have ran there collected that data and we have spent an entire night analyzing the data and all of that and we get completely carried away and grossed in what work we are doing. So, the work may turn out to be very sound, but it may be work that others have done before it may you may finally find a known result. So, it could get rejected if you are not positioned the work properly. So, here is a picture to help you remember this. So, what is the referees job papers are submitted in this funnel set of conical filters and the referees job is to first see whether it passes the filter of novelty in the problem or in the solution ok. So, if your paper does not pass that filter it goes into the trash and subsequently the next thing the referee is going to look at is does it pass the positioning with respect to related work and once again those which do not pass are going to exit. Then only the referee comes to looking at soundness of procedure and even the soundness of procedure is not enough after the procedure is sound you have to also provide the evidence which is the soundness of your evaluation. So, only when all these four pieces are there and in this order will the referee be likely to recommend your paper for acceptance and here is something to keep in mind that the typical acceptance ratio for any good or decent conference will be around 15 to 20 percent ok. So, we have to put in the effort to make it into this 15 to 20 percent and that is what this workshop is all about this workshop is about taking your idea and working with you to get you to this 15 to 20 percent rather than have your effort getting wasted by having to be taking one of these exits. So, I will just give you a pause to catch your breath and then we will move ahead with today's session and what is going to come later. Basically the entire effort is towards paper acceptance now towards conducting a study rigorously and writing the paper in a way that the referees has no option, but to accept your paper. So, the first activity for today is a pair activity and this is called peer review of the idea proposal assignment. So, all of you have submitted the idea proposal assignment and I hope many of you have brought hard copies of the assignment of your own assignment. So, what you want to do is first form pairs and exchange your idea proposal assignment submission with your partner ok. Now, in case you have not brought you probably will have to explain to your partner what is it that you did ideally you should have a hard copy and what you are supposed to do with your partner submission is read your partner's answer to question 3. Question 3 was the brief description of the idea ok what you are going to do what your students are going to do ok and the partner is to answer these two questions yes or no. Are you able to understand the idea which the other guy has written in his or her proposal and second question is does the idea sound exciting to you ok. Once you have got past this step 2 then you move on to reading the answer to question 5 and see whether the gap that your partner has brought out in that answer is it clear to you is it making sense is it coming out clearly. Once again you do a yes or no and only after that you start talking. So, keep in mind that you do not want to discuss anything with your partner while you are doing steps 2 and 3. Once you have finished and got your answers to these questions then you start discussing where you explain to your partner what aspects of the answers are not coming out clearly. So the time is now 9.50 close to 9.50 so you have up to 10 o clock to do this ok. So most of you should have been done with the activity by now. So as the others are finishing let me make one announcement first there are many queries about not being able to upload the idea proposal assignment. So due to whatever technical problem as they call it. So what we will do is we will extend the deadline for those of you who had these technical problems and maybe by a day or two not more than that because the next submission is also due soon enough ok. So then moving on for those of you who have completed the activity start thinking about this how many of you felt that ok there are immediately 2, 3 queries which say extend up to Monday night that is really not on I think. That means you have not worked on the idea submission assignment ok. So ok we will think about that I am not going to take any more requests regarding extension of the deadline right now let us come back to the activity that we are doing now. So how many of you felt that you have explained your idea well but your partner still did not understand either your idea or your gap analysis then you are sort of getting frustrated why this fellow is not understanding ok. So the coordinators can quickly poll and send the response by chat know how many people feel that your partner did not understand ok. I am getting 60 percent from somewhere else somewhere else everybody understood 30 participants clear with the idea 75, 65 percent, 64 percent, 70 percent, 40 percent, 55 percent, 20 percent, 100 percent. So 100 percent actually is whether people understood or did not understand it does not matter. So yeah so I will just give you half a minute 99 percent, 20 percent ok. So we can stop sending the poll results and move on to the next point which is what is the value of peer review ok. So the value of peer review is that it is always our responsibility to write our paper in such a way that the reader can understand and follow it easily ok. So typically we have a tendency to blame the reader saying that that fellow is not smart enough to understand what I am saying ok and that is the most common pitfall for early researchers ok. So the point to keep in mind is if your friend or colleague is having difficulty somebody who is friendly towards you is having difficulty in following your paper what do you think the referee is going to do with your paper. So that is the thing that you want to keep in mind. So whenever somebody is telling you giving you feedback saying that some aspect of your work is not clear you must take that feedback seriously and see how to improve that ok. So that is the value to writers every peer reviewer comment tells you what part of your paper you need to improve upon ok. What is the payoff for the person who is giving the comments ok. The payoff is every paper that you peer review is going to improve many things ok. One is it might improve your knowledge of the domain. Second it might give you clues to prior work or related work that you are not aware of ok. And third and most important it will improve your own analytical skills of being able to spot the gap being able to see whether there is novelty being able to examine an idea for soundness and that improvement in your own analytical skill will pay off when you write your own paper. So that is the value of peer review. So moving on now we will continue with the activity. So this is a slightly longer one it is for 20 minutes on the same idea now you want to read your partner's answer to question 6 ok which is the detailed description of the procedure and the data being collected and you want to imagine that you now have to replicate the study. So some study somebody else has described and it is your job to replicate the study means use that data or use that description to carry out the study in your own class ok. So what you want to look at is do you think the procedure is described in sufficient detail for you to be able to replicate? Do you think that the data being collected can give evidence that the idea works ok. So once again after you have gone through it take 5 minutes to go through it in detail and then explain to your partner what additional information you require to replicate the procedure of the study and explain to your partner what additional data you think is required ok. So I am guessing that many of you are going to feel that the answer is no ok. So that is why the other two items are explain to your partner what additional information is required and explain to your partner what additional data is required ok. So this activity is for 20 minutes starting at 10 we will go up to 10 20 ok we will reconvene at 10 20 now.


This morning we heard a wonderful message we all worship together as we listen to the resurrection life, the resurrection, the life of the resurrected Jesus. And on our program, the title of what I'm supposed to be talking about is family life. I'm just going to say a little different, life in the family. When I say life in the family, we're talking about resurrected life. The power of the life of the resurrected Jesus. The power, the law of life in Christ Jesus and our families. Let's start, let's read Psalm 128. It's a blessing to be here. This subject is a burden on my heart. It has been for years at home in Costa Rica. Most of our families in our church are all first generation believers. My family's not. Oh, my co-pastor, Antonio Valberto, they married a freezing. She was a second generation, but the rest are all first generation believers. Now we're starting some new families of second generation. But one thing that has been a concern to me is that we're not doing that well and bringing the children in the church. And that's been a burden on our hearts, and I'm sure it is for Brother Dale too. On the first generation Christians, we've... And so I have been seeking for answers and praying about this. How can we strengthen this in our people at home? So it's a wonderful subject, an important subject. Psalms 128, I'm just going to read it. This is a description in the Old Testament of a man that fears God. God's plan for a man who fears God blessed is everyone that feareth the Lord, that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labor of thine hands. Happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house. Thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord. The Lord shall bless thee out of Zion. The Lord shall see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children and peace upon Israel. It's got some Old Testament pictures here, but we can interpret that into New Testament. God's will is that we as families, we have united functioning families. We hear a lot about dysfunction families. Our families are one of the most powerful testimonies we have for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Families that function. We should not be ashamed of our families. God wants to use our families as a witness to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. It's a very powerful one. Now I'd like to say this quickly too. We're all a family. And if we have single people here, or widows, or widows, and we're people that are not part of a family, we are a family. And we're all together in this. Life in our families, spiritual life in our families. God is very interested in our families. And there's someone else who's very interested in that Satan. Our enemy is attacking our families intently with intention. Intensely. He's trying to destroy our families. And if we have the power of the resurrected Jesus in our families, we're doing well. The enemy can't even get in. Jesus is there. But if we give room to the enemy in our families, he will take advantage of that. The heart issue of a family. Yes, the family we're going to be talking about. And the heart issue of a church family is relationship, is love. You know that, your study, your Bible. Love, where there's love, all the requirements that God has for us are fulfilled. So the purpose is this, is relationship. Is being able to relate. And like I like to say, you know, I don't know, don't do it now. You don't need to do it now. But can you look at your wife, look her in the eyes and smile at her and she'll look at you and smile back? Or will she look down? Same thing is true for your children. Can you look at your children here in the church or outside and look at them and smile and they look at you back and smile open-faced? Or would they look down? The purpose of the families is to show the love of God in human relationship. The success of a man or a woman is his relationships. Not his money, not the car he drives, not the clothes he wears, not the show he makes in public, even in a church service. There's the ability to be able to have good relationships with other people. That starts with our wives and our children. The song of Solomon, which I've had people ask me, why is that book in the Bible? That's a beautiful book in the Bible. And it talks about a love relationship between marriage, between a couple, where there's a genuine love. You can look each other in the eye and smile. That's the purpose and that's what we're seeking for. And if you have that kind of relationship with your children, you have something strong going for you. But for this, how do we reach this? How did Brother Ken say this morning? I can't put it in words. He had an interesting way of saying it. But without the Spirit of God in our hearts, we cannot reach this. Without the Spirit of God in our hearts, you cannot have a good marriage, good relationship with your children, and a good relationship in the church. What is the problem when we have to have good relationships? You know, what the biggest problem we have is we blame others. My problem, my relationships, is my brother. It's him. It's him. My problem with my marriage, my wife. Problem with the children. I just heard about this recently again. It's a children's fault. The problem in our relationships is our own carnality. The enemy of your home is the person you saw in the mirror this morning. And we need to deal with that, and Romans 8 talks about this. They that are in the flesh cannot please God. And in our marriages, if I am in the flesh, I can't have a good marriage. Why not? If I have not experienced the life of Jesus Christ and a genuine repentance, Mark always does the same thing. He defends himself, he's proud, he reacts, he gets upset when anyone steps in his ways and makes it unhandy for him. My wife is a beautiful lady. She's the most wonderful lady in the world. I should say that, don't I? You say that about your wife. But when she's in the flesh, she can become hard to live with. And I'm still worse. To have a good where God is in our families and the blessing. What you want in your family more than anything else is the presence of God and the blessing of the Holy Spirit in your life. And for that we need to deal with our flesh. We need to crucify through the work of the Holy Spirit, crucify our flesh to where we can love, to where we can have a relationship. And I would really like to encourage all of us today. Sometimes we have problems in our churches. Sometimes we have problems. That's a big problem with divorce and remarriage. How many times I've talked to people and they said, we just can't make it.  The only solution is to get out of it. Why does Jesus not allow divorce and remarriage? Because he does not accept that statement. If we all repent and have the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives, we can change and we can have good relationships. The problem is, and the problem we have in our relationships is, and I don't know, group this size. I'm sure it's here. Maybe the truth of it is I have my struggles with relationships. But again, I would like to encourage us today. If you're having struggles with your church, if you're having struggles with your wife, your husband, if you're having struggles with your father and your mother, just let the other person go and you work on being able to love the person yourself. That needs the cross of Jesus Christ and the power of the resurrection. But it works. And that's what Jesus wants in our homes. He wants families that stand out.  I remember when I was young, remember one time especially, we were, we still lived in Virginia. I was less than 11. I was pretty young and we had nine children at that time. My parents had nine children. I was about 10 years old, I think. And I remember walking down the streets of Charlottesville. And I think we were getting our paperwork to go to Costa Rica or something. We were in all the whole families in town. And dad was up front and there was these nine children and mom in the back and keeping this little herd of chicks together, you know. And my brother, Tim, he was my oldest when he said, I'm ashamed of this walking to town, this big family. And dad Grandin says, I have struggled with not being proud.  They're wonderful. And if you can have a family where God, where the spirit of God is working, it is evidence. We need that more than ever. Our solution, our world is going from bad to worse. Just the last few years, Costa Rica just fun. Two years ago, just two years ago allowed the homosexual marriage. Our culture is going backwards fast. What do we do about it? Don't waste time protesting and trying to change the government. You won't want to accomplish any help. We need families that show, that show. I had the opportunity of inviting a young European into my family in our home while he stayed there a few days. And he was from Europe.  And he said, I have never believed in God. I believe in fairy tales. That's where he was brought up. But when he saw our family, he had been with other families. He said, I see something. I see something. Because my parents never, they're always squabbling, always arguing, never get along with each other. And your children sing as they work. Your daughters are washing dishes and singing. Because I see something. He was there a few days and we talked, I had so much fun. I enjoyed it so much telling him stories about Jesus and about God. And when I left, I asked him, what's happening to your faith? What's happening? He says, I think it's coming. I think it's coming.  Don't waste time trying to change the government. You realize during the time of the Roman Empire, abortion was also allowed. It was practiced.  Some of the emperors were homosexuals. And what does the New Testament talk about? It's clear on homosexuality. It's clear. It didn't even mention abortion. In the year of 100, they wrote this, it's called The Teaching of the Apostles of the Didache. And in that, it says, we Christians should not murder and in mentions unborn babies. That's about the extent of it. It's rest, it's all clear. But there was no, the New Testament waste no time trying to change the Roman Empire. Trying to get in there and protest and marches and write letters and trying to change the Roman Empire. Don't waste time doing that. But what we can do and what we should do in our calling from God is keep our families intact. Mom and dad love each other. The children love to be at home. There's life in our homes and the families, and the world says, wow, wow. Satan knows that and Satan is attacking our families.  I would like to encourage all of us to be very alert to the work of Satan. I've seen so often where fathers and mothers are worshiping God and praising God and they're neglecting their children and the children sitting back here maybe with a smartphone on the internet. Mom and dad don't even think about it. And Satan's standing back grinning. Just give me a little time. Just give me a little time. Mom and dad will let them go on but just let me keep working with the children. Satan is trying to destroy our families. We need to be alert on that. I encourage you to pray about that. Now, I'd like to talk a little bit about the relationships in the home. What is the problem? When I married my wife, oh, it was so exciting. Wow. But after some months and a few years, what happens? What happens that we lose that freedom of looking each other in the face and smile? What happens? First of all, we're human. We fail. We make mistakes. But one of our biggest problems, one of my problems is I was 27 when I got married and I'll just make this confession here in public. I thought I was sort of mature. I thought I'm probably by 27. I'm surely ready to get married. What do you think? You know what marriage did? My wife says the same thing. Marriage revealed to me my tremendous selfishness. I learned a level of dying to self that I didn't realize was even there. But our problem with our carnal nature, fathers, please listen to me. And I know why I'm saying this.  You hurt the most. Just the other day I was talking to a young man. I've been witnessing to him for a while and he was sitting on my porch and he said, you know, I'm so glad. I left. I was able to I'm thinking a Spanish word, the visu of smoking. I was able to get rid of smoking and I was able to quit my habit and the lottery. I still have some things to work on and knowing him a little bit. I said, you know one thing, we often hurt the people we love the most. And then he said, yes, you're right. He started shedding tears. He's bigger than I am, but he sat there and started shedding tears. And then he told me this story. He had bought two glasses. I'm not sure was it glasses or some kind of containers drank without. And he said, I had one day and I really thought they were nice and I had one sitting beside me and my little daughter, she was about 3 years old came running by and kicked it and broke it. And he said, I'm ashamed, but I got so mad, I got up and I whipped, I lashed her and I scolded her. He said, later I felt so bad that glass wasn't worth much. Then a little later the girl, I don't know what she was washing it or what, she broke the other one. And I don't think he was there to hear it. I'll just, mommy, please don't tell daddy, please don't tell daddy, I'm scared of daddy. Please don't tell daddy. And he said the tears and his eyes says, Mark, I don't want to have that kind of relationship with my daughter. I think probably every father sitting here tonight understands that. Our anger, our frustration, our carnal nature. We hurt the people we love the most. We hurt our wives with harsh words. And then is when distance starts. The wives can do the same thing. Mothers can do the same thing, of course. Mothers and other carnality can also hurt their children. And I would like to encourage us to look at some of this seriously, because if you build a wall between you and your child, your child's not going to want to be where you are and not going to follow the church you're in. And we've all done that. My daughter, Darkis, is here. I'm so glad. My wife knows that I have done things that I have failed enough that she could be bitter at me. But I praise the Lord that she has forgiven me and we love each other. I fail. You fail. I've wished I could be a perfect father. Though all the power is there, the Holy Spirit and power, the resurrection is there, but we still fail. I've decided, well, at least one thing I'm going to try to do is to show them what a struggling father, is to make things right. And so in my family, it's pretty common to be asked each other forgiveness and make things right. I'm sorry for getting upset. And I want them to see, I want them that nothing else they can learn from me how to handle their carnal nature and submit to the Spirit. And I hope my children can see that Dad is growing in these areas. He's getting better. But our need, our problem is, and wives too, is our carnal nature. Our defensiveness. And when you men have the trouble I sometimes have, my wife wants to give me a word of and say something that she thinks is not quite right and inside me I feel this thing like my heart is going just easy, turn away and walk away from. Is that the right spirit instead of opening my heart and listening? And so I would like to encourage us in this and that we learn how to walk in the Spirit to make the Spirit a reality in our life we need to repent, we need to accept our pride, we need to accept our frustrations.  In front of people I try to show you I'm a very spiritual man that I really worship the Lord and I really know what I've seen some men doing that and look back and I do this sometimes.  But if you're a spiritual man at home everyone will see it. You don't need to make oppression in front of people but we need to start at home I'd like to encourage you to start at home. Okay, well let's start this course now, tomorrow, when Monday you go home again. We're going to start this course I'm going to start taking care of some husband and wife both, these carnal areas that come up, these frustrations, these moments of anger, these moments of conflict. Why do we have conflicts in our marriage? Hey, it's not your wife's fault, it's not the husband's fault, it's your fault, partly your fault. Once you can forget the other person and say, I'm going to work at this Lord, help me, I'm going to work at this. Let my wife say the same thing again and again and again until I learn to respond right until I can humble myself and not defend myself and be humble. Start working that way and you'll see your marriage will change fast. We need to all do that that our children can see that in us. The basic responsibility of a husband and we're very good at trying to I'm sorry, I keep thinking Spanish words, we're very good at trying to win over a woman's heart. There's another better word for that Brother Dale, what is it anyway? When we're young and we're dating, we're very good at winning the woman's heart. Conquer, conquer the lady's heart. Isn't that a challenge? Hey, that's married men. Then it's not as easy quite when we're married. Then we get sort of hardened and we sort of harden our hearts. And there's sometimes a reason, you know we sort of harden our hearts, but we should have a heart and my daughter's present I've been working at that. You know what, it's like to get upset getting ready to go to church getting on time in church. The husband goes out and sits in the car beep beep beep I had one case where the wife ran out and said, hey, let me blow the horn. You really put the drastic children. Let me blow the horn. That was a good idea. It's been a while back that I haven't struggled with that as much anymore, but there's still this inner thing and I've been trying Lord help me and I don't mind, my wife is very possibly listening to this right now myself. I don't mind them knowing that I'm trying to learn the power of the resurrection of Jesus Christ in a moment of conflict that I can humble myself and listen instead of hardening my heart. I'm sorry, but that happens sometimes.  I didn't say a word but I just but anyway, this type of thing I would like to encourage you to make this an issue, each one of you yourself. Don't worry.  No, I'm shouldn't say that. The Lord doesn't want anyone to be on her. But anyway, maybe the Lord will anyway, if she does or he does, the Lord can use that to develop you. You know, the power of the Holy Spirit is more than is sufficient to always respond right and respond love, respond humbly and kindly. Now, the basic responsibility in the Bible, you've studied your Bibles, I don't need to spend much time with this but the Bible, I have read a lot some books on marriage and I have a bunch of them but basic issues in counseling marriage and helping marriage and my own marriage is what the Bible says. The husband should love his wife and cherish her and care for her and the wife should submit and respect her husband. Those are two basic issues. Most marriage problems are related to these two issues. It might come into finances and some other issues but still that's the basic problem. As a man, we need to learn to become like Jesus to where we can listen to the heart. You can hear her heart and our women are very emotional, you know that? Yes we do. They'll cry easy and they look at things from an emotional perspective and sometimes we think it's silly or whatever but listen, open your heart to your wife, listen to her care for her. If she has fears listen to that. You heard me say that? Darkest? Darkest heard me say that? Listen when the wife has fears that I think are not reasonable. Care for her.  You probably still can't, can't you? The wife's responsibility is basically to respect and honor the husband. To submit, to respect and honor him. And here again it's one of the problems in this issue of respecting and honoring and loving is we tend to focus on the other person's problem. As long as I focus on my wife's weaknesses and she's a wonderful woman but she has them. I'm focusing on those and I'm focusing on those and I think it's her fault. We get nowhere and she's focusing on mine. We get nowhere. When I start seeing my own mistakes I'm going to work in my own heart in my own problem. So wives you need to submit to your husband even if you think sometimes he's not worthy of submitting to but if you can submit to him at all times and love him and respect him and honor him you have a power I've heard my brother Phil say not long ago he says women have a power that a lot of women don't realize they have and it's not the power of complaining, it's not the power stomping their feet and raising their voice and defending their rights. It's the power of submission, humbly honoring and respecting and trusting the man to make the decisions and wow then all the people once we listen wow. So I would encourage all of us to work at that each to our part in working at that each to our own responsibility that can get so bad that's where divorce comes in that the person says if I would only have another woman it would be easier I really doubt that I really doubt that listen with the power of the resurrection Jesus you should be able to live with whichever woman you have and love her and honor her in spite of how she mistreats other is true too and so what I'm trying to say is we need to focus on our own and not focus on the other and we need to accept our weaknesses and our differences my wife and I and Dorcas my wife is a perfectionist she's detailed I mean when I leave home I have everything in the suitcase I'll need and more she thinks of everything and when we go to church she some of you probably do that too she goes around make sure the iron is disconnected that the oven is off she makes sure she has saved me so much money I mean she has been such a blessing her carefulness you know what she's told me because I don't I'm careless I mean I'm looking out I'm ready to go and leave things behind me that are not the way they should be she is a tremendous blessing but that can cause friction when I'm in a hurry to go hey let's go it's time to get to church and then she starts checking this and checking that and doing this and doing that and I say come on honey let's go and she has a struggle if he would only be a little more careful if he would think about some of these things but what I'd like to encourage today is this accept and appreciate our differences my wife's over I'll just say her carefulness has been a tremendous blessing to me darkest and hoes I mean I need her and I need Dorcas too she's keeping in line now no she does it in the right way she's not nothing wrong but my family's concerned about my getting enough rest of my just having COVID recently so she's supposed to watch me if you see her pull up my elbow it's not that she's bossing me she's simply saying dad you need to go rest but we need to accept the differences between us you know one of us is always pretty well all of us is more careless the other one is more detailed the other one is more spends the money more the other is more careful with the money we're all different I'm glad we are can you imagine if my wife would be like me I mean maybe you can but dark is good if my wife would be the same wow we'd have problems but I have some strong points she has some strong points and together we can make a pretty good team look at it that way your wife's differences your husband's differences appreciate that I have a son the same he's like his mother he's so careful he does things so right one time we were unloading a load of blocks he meant blocks you know we're unloading them and I just get in there and I like to do it so I was grabbing these blocks and my son we'd get two of them at a time and he get them down carefully he get the next he set it down carefully he set it down carefully inside of me I was like come on Caleb let's just do it but when our stack was about this high his was standing real straight real good mine was just about going over so appreciate our differences you know instead of resenting some things that have been bothering us we appreciate it my wife has been a tremendous blessing to me I appreciate that so much remember this the single relationship with your husband wife is not only about you it's about your own feelings it's going to affect your children really I know darkness can tell you it's not that hard for my wife and I to get conflict conflict conflict conflict I've had my son tell me dad it's about time you take mommy for a hamburger take mommy for a date why did he say that my dates I do the cheap thing but dad he sees there's conflict going on and I appreciate my son reminding that I wish I would have been ahead but he's told me dad don't seem to be good to take mom for a date go get a hamburger because you know it's it affects the family when there's conflict conflict we can you know when your carnality you can conflict about anything we separated over an egg what was it over an egg and super glue I have no idea what the argument was but dad it was the dumbest thing you can imagine but we got so mad we held on to this no one would give in and we ended up one way and one another at least for a few days I'm not sure if it's permanent I forget now but you know what I mean you can conflict about anything what's the problem it's my carnal nature and like Tim like brother Ken remind us this morning we need to power the resurrection to humble ourselves and ask for the spirit of God to lead us so I would encourage you with that and like brother Dale said if you have your family has been through a lot and you feel like you failed you feel like you've blown it you can never recuperate it that's not true and the first the best thing you can do is humble yourself surrender that yourself and ask for the spirit of the Holy God to come in you to be a kind gentle loving husband or wife some people some of us have had long years of habit of griping griping griping complaining complaining complaining but to the power of the resurrected Jesus that can change first of all you need to accept your own problem you have to repent and call out to God and he can help you and if you have a marriage maybe your children are older and you've lost them I have seen so many cases where a man has young children he's in the church and he's happy and he's praising the Lord and all at once when the child turns 12, 13 to 14 he's shocked all at once he realized he's lost his father his children's heart and they try so hard to recuperate it and it can be but the damage is often done there's so many families here with little children I've been blessed to see all your little children and these young couples I love children and I love your I like to see that but I would really like to encourage you and one of the main thing is that you be a father despite you be a spirit filled man that the spirit of the Holy God is really guiding you you're a humble man you can listen to accusations you can listen to problems without getting upset without getting all worked up and raise your voice and bang on the table you ever try that? I hope you didn't but I know one man got so upset and he wanted to impress his family he turned around and he started robusting the siding on the wall did it in that? No, we lost it but we can learn to be humble be quiet, listen when the Bible says in 1 Peter 3 that we men should use our heads we should think with wisdom about our wives when there's a problem stop and think before you talk pray and ask God to help you how do I as a spiritual father help in this situation and if you have blown your home and you have things have not going the way maybe you came to Christ just recently and your family is already in dysfunctional the best thing you can do is you find you humble yourself you have that broken heart that brother Dale talked about yesterday and you have the Spirit of God in your presence and your children see he's a different man and the wives too now, I'd like to talk a little bit wait a minute what time am I supposed to end it's time to quit almost the same thing I'd like to talk a little bit about parent-children relationship I would please like to encourage you I see you couple here with young children please may I say that as an older man with white hair I still think I'm young but my look in the mirror I have to accept that I'm getting older but please please young couples young those all these little children and then you know take time for your family they're the most important thing God has given you your wife and your own salvation but those children please don't neglect your children for work for money when you're on your deathbed you don't care what happened to your money what about your children I'm not going to ask of course not but if I go around and ask a lot of these young people how many of you felt like your father neglected you because he was so busy making money if I'd ask him to raise their hands you think anyone would raise their hands a lot of them will sometimes there's a father in the home but there's not a father for the heart be humble take time listen oh they can talk oh they talk and they ask so many questions listen to those silly little questions talk with them do it now when they're little so you can keep on doing it when they're 12 13 14 listen to them take time take time with your family and do activities together you know what I told someone I told two men just last few months I said please take time when I'm looked at me a little funny and I said that would help you develop some things in your life take time and play games with your children I've been doing that a little more I've been playing what's that on the room at Q I can't even pronounce them right there's some games that we've been having a lot of fun we've been playing Chinese checkers with my children my age at one time there was a home that was dysfunctional and one of the oldest son is now my co-minister at that time he was still in the world his father was a member of the church and the home had serious problems some of the children some of them had not talked with each other for getting out with it two or three or four years living in the same home some of them had not talked with their father for two or three years and they lived in the same home they were working with him helping him we had a meeting where the father first asked forgiveness you wouldn't imagine the tears there was one daughter that sat there and just bawled she sat there for about half an hour and just cried and cried and cried but you know what I told them to do later I took a memory game you know those little games of memory those little memory games that children like to play you want to have a good time with your grandchildren you want to play memory with your grandchildren I enjoyed that but then I took this memory game and they had an old house that's been some years ago Tonya was still single he was still in the world they just had candles in around and they had this old wooden table and we set out the memory game on the table and there stood dad there stood the children around the table and oh they were laughing and having fun as they were flipping these cards and oh they laughed it was one of the memory game how it works and I just sat back and just smiled take time play games with your children take time most important one of the most important things you have to do is to win your children take time with your children show interest in their interest and you know making money you need to make we need a certain amount of money yeah we need a certain amount of money to make a living to cover the costs but it's much more important to win your children's heart and to provide all the clothes and all the things for them take time with your children and as a father we need to discipline disciple them we need to teach as a father we're responsible to take the children and teach them this is what you do this is what you don't do I've been reading through Proverbs recently and we see that a lot in Proverbs the thing of listen to your fathers do this, don't do this, listen to your father listen and anyway love anyhow your children need your approval father do you realize that might be 3 years old, might be 5 years old don't wait till they're 12 and try to do it or 14 when they're already rebelling against you your children need to have the smile of approval and if you ever see me, I haven't known for a while if you ever see me look across the crowd and wink you'll know that over there is either one of my daughters or someone there I can look at her and wink connection here take time for your children build that relationship and because we are sometimes harsh we cause and mothers too or because we're so busy making sure everything is just right and we lose the hearts it's not worth it and your children need to have the approval from dad and we're talking supposed to do it in 7 minutes tonight how to love the father listen what the impact this is an introduction to that by the way but children should have need desperately need the approval of a father and if you don't have a father we'll talk about that tonight maybe briefly but that is much more important than buying another car hey, drive the old car again another few years if you have to spend time and if you've blown it and your children are older and your children hardly have don't respect you anymore try to plan something you do something together go fishing with them now I don't believe in wasting time fishing just wasting all kinds of money and time on fishing but I've went fishing and I should do it more but I'm fishing from my boys' hearts I'm fishing from my boys' hearts and if you have lost your thing do something with your boys or your girls that they enjoy, have a grill do something together they feel the love of a father but your children need that real love, real communication take time and help children to learn I need to wrap this up have children to learn relationships some of us, we have a hard time getting along with our church one of the best things you can do for your children is show them how to relate to difficult circumstances and humble yourself and love and meet, if you have someone that has a hard time invite them over I remember one time, it blessed me so much there was a sister that I knew was having struggles with me and probably had reason and what was I I was going to be leaving somewhere and she and her husband came over with a big pizza she knew that I like pizza and I knew what she was doing she was trying to build bridges and build a relationship take time to build relationships remember, the success you have in life is the relationships you have not the money you have it's the relationships three years old 15, 25, 26 30 years old spend time to heal and restore I'll just say this briefly we need to also learn how to minister, Lord help us we need the spirit of the living God in the world we live today some of our children are going to get into things they shouldn't some of your children are going to get into pornography and I'm all for doing all you can to avoid it we have a pretty strict control on our telephones and our laptops I appreciate so much EMI people let me see what was the one I was talking about this afternoon there's another one Compass I appreciate them so much they're providing for the conservative people a way to control that but in spite of that you might have a child or have with someone in your family that has a fall, that has a downfall serious problem friends, when fathers start pulling their hair and what do I do you need the spirit of the living God if your son comes to you and confesses it to you, that's a wonderful thing but that's not enough that's a good start we need to take time and help him work through this problem we need the spirit of the living God to help us, mothers too to help our children even when they've messed up and they've failed and they feel like a failure can you imagine the little baby used to hold the little three-year used to play with and now he's 15, 16 and he's failed and he feels like a dirty mess what should dad do what should dad do, scold him oh, you can tell him that he should have been more careful but there's a time when they need the arms of death maybe what you don't do is we Latin Americans we like to hug each other we like to put our arms around each other but they need time they need dad to say son, I care son, I love you, I want to help you our daughter I feel like I've just barely touched a few things but the main thing we need in our families is the spirit of the living God and when the spirit of God is we have a humble broken heart broken heart that can communicate you've had a son that you have years of conflict, conflict I've seen that conflict, conflict, conflict, conflict what can you do to change that you can the spirit of the living God have a humble heart a sensitive heart I heard my dad my oldest brother's not a believer I heard my dad just six months ago he's done it many, many times over and again I heard my dad say again I heard him say son I'm sorry, forgive me forgive me for the times I hurt you when you were young my brother's older than I am and dad's a 91 he's done that again and again and of course my brother says oh dad that's alright but we need to do that sometimes forgive me for my anger forgive me for my frustration and so many other things God bless you, what we need is the spirit of the resurrected Jesus in our homes in our hearts God bless you


Hi, my name is Marilyn Savard from Lac-Magantic, Quebec. You've probably heard of my town, right? I'm here today to tell you that there are two things I need you to know. The first thing is that your decision is about securing safety of the people in this room and their families. Because, you know, there is nothing abstract about another train disaster. I know because July 6, 2013 is a night I will never forget. I will never, ever forget the sound and the smell of the explosion. Trying to comfort my three years old son while not knowing if my friends were dying downtown. The second thing you need to know is that once an oil train derails and catches fire, you and your town will never totally recover. We lost 47 people that night, and since then we've lost many more who have struggled with the consequences of that terrible night. Can you imagine how many could it be in your own community? Half our downtown was destroyed. 40 buildings. The rest that didn't burn was highly contaminated and was raised to the ground. Nothing left. You know, there is no emergency response for an oil train fire, except to move the survivors away and wait as the crude oil burns totally out of control. Afterwards, the railroad moves quickly to rebuild the track, but your town remains a shadow of itself. Lake Megantik was a beautiful and peaceful community, just like San Luis Obispo. I think that's all you need to know before you make a decision. Thank you for your time.


Welcome to Unit 4 of Sailor.org's HTML and CSS for beginners. I hope you've enjoyed this course so far. Now that you've created a simple one-page site, you'll learn how to create a more complex webpage with multi-column layouts, menus, and navigation bars. Fortunately, with the skills you've already developed, creating a contemporary multi-column website is easy. You just need to learn one or two new tags and keep experimenting with CSS, and you'll soon be able to create many of the most popular website layouts on your own. You've mastered most of the skills you need to begin building websites. Good luck!