vide additional supports for things like supporting your program to navigate the QRTP kind of designations you may decide could you explain that so if your programs are already competitive the way and the joint commission that they have a really easy path to this they generally already have to meet all those requirements programs like a hard time are going to be your small programs and I understand most of your programs are small programs programs are a lot larger than foster care that is allowed under this I mean we have quotes that are under 12 yeah I know some additional advice coming on our QRTP status but in just consultation and support and navigating those requirements and maybe there are some options here for even co-ops or something I just think about how could those small programs pool resources together to have the kind of support they need without everybody having to do it themselves so if there is a way to support those agencies I would also, some states are choosing to think about how they research and develop evidence for programs who always have like these programs we know really work but then maybe you're never going to get on that list because that's a lot of help and that's the tragedy in some of this you've got some of these programs that are on for a long time on that list I mean the list so far is some great programs but it's disappointing because it doesn't represent the universe of things that we know work so we're always supporting programs getting to that level so we can actually then claim the money on those programs I looked for lists I didn't see on those the rumor is it's currently under review and I can't imagine it won't be on the list because we're strong evidence so you know they did some low hanging fruit I think in New Zealand right now there's no kids should navigate a program on this the two programs they want that don't have an evidence yet so they're looking at like two more now so there's some real challenges on that but you may want to provide some support at the state level with your programs and agencies to do that I think that's the main the other items you just have to decide how far you want to get involved like if you there's some you're even candidacy as in the question of the agency if you're determined, submitted a plan, get approved you can say you want a voice on that you know I think those are just things you've got to think about depending on the future of your working relationships and how far you want to go what do you people say have a voice and make a decision about whether or not to have a voice in Canada well so you I never served as a representative but I feel like I have because I spent a lot of time we had one time when our foster youth actually held a hearing of legislators and they actually had seats that seemed like their questions but I think one way to do that is by having your agency communicate with you about what they're thinking and have these kind of conversations so if you have any concerns about it then you can decide how involved you want to be from that and I would use hearings and things like that as a way of just keeping yourself in the conversation and talk to your advocates and show your advocates some kind of thoughts about this and really make sure just from an oversight standpoint that your agency is involving a lot of partners in this because there are lots of questions about who should be involved, who should be here from until you almost never hear from the birth families and youth have a voice but often in a limited way like share your story with us so I think how you can use the work that you do to make sure people are really engaged and the process is to ask your agency questions about who are involved and how and make sure it's meaningful because this is clearly there's no way of legislation for the agency to accomplish this alone there's another big message in this is that we're going to need the whole community to take responsibility for the safety and proper care of children and to answer your questions responsibly we've got to manage that we've got to think about collaboration we've got to think about even leadership occurring throughout the system you've had programs proposed to you today that people aren't looking at and processes today so I think you can put a major role in that I know if I was still in Missouri I'd have to be getting a lot of questions about this and then you'd trust my answers and I don't want to get involved to the extent that it's not going to be meaningful which I think is generally the better approach in most sense I didn't take too much time but that's one of your responses but this is all about questions the other information is we can does anyone else have any more questions I just have one one quick question it's kind of a big question but you mentioned that we should look at parts of the law that will advance our system for vision and that it sounds like it's a huge consideration in terms of what we prioritize and I don't know if you have any familiarity with the Vermont system but I'm wondering if off the back you have one or two take a look at this aspect something that's we're hanging through that you really think could move a lever significantly that we should really look at it and consider within that whole kind of new legislation it's kind of a tough question it's a tough one because I don't feel like I know the Vermont system I don't feel like I know the Vermont system well enough I can tell you what I've been looking at in Missouri and it would really be our Missouri's estate I'm going to look at your data Missouri's estate for instance has 8.9 children in foster care for the national average of 5.8 5.9 so I would be really trying to focus on prevention there because we were getting a lot of families because there was just no other option to support their needs including a lot of the behavioral health concerns and so forth so I would be really all about I mean prevention would be huge for me you know the kinship that's just on kinship and family-based placements I think would be huge I think Boston Missouri now would be trying to manage all the aspects of it and trying to use it a little bit you know Senator Sears and I were talking about this our dual justice programs were really good it was very good to go to Harvard to work all that stuff our treatment programs actually in the contrast side for shovel for our art and your is good I think probably would be using it to try to focus on the quality of that programming that's just the nature of the foster care quality program I was looking at our dual justice I wouldn't be focused on that at all but I really would encourage you to look at your data because that's been telling you a lot actually I don't know what your number of care rates are here are sort of about 12% we have our 9 out of 18% so we want to get a lot to fire although those old-time goals I just felt like kids were sometimes there too long or as a first-placement whether it was just a matter or not so for instance if you really invested in family finding for instance on the front end and get that first-placement method relative to him with the support on the trauma removal that was always my dream and navigate some of that then you probably don't even have kids acting out as much but they need psychotropic and counseling so I really would focus on prevention and then I always thought I would focus on or if I had more time on a formal little moment right afterwards because I think that sets the trajectory for the entire case and I got really robust if I waited for those for an in-home intervention from just separation time so I had a home visitor come and work with foster parents and grandparents around how they could help the child navigate the separation and they threw things like how can we keep normal so I was just making choices about what time they go to bed even if there are routines we almost got that funded I thought it was safe there's a lot of money down the road in the trajectory of some kids winding up years in counseling and all the money spent on all that it's been a pleasure and I'll be happy to come back came back on short notice this time and now that I've seen the beauty of your study I think I've told my wife we've got to get back here where she is thank you very much thank you hi Nina get your new Nina you have her hand out okay folks we have our hand out from in San Jose and I've had the pleasure of working with Nina I've had the pleasure of her expertise at NCSL and some readings that I've fallen to and I'll have her introduce herself and go ahead Nina thank you so much good afternoon to the chair there's a committee as the rest of the staff my name is the Children's Examiner and I'm the general manager I understand that you all do have a paper handout so I'm going to go back a little bit and I will just say I want to like to like to like to like to like to like to like to get down we are a bipartisan nonprofit organization a region that provides service in the federal system and now every state is carrying forward an extension of your research staff and call upon at any time for any of your needs on any topic and we'll be glad to help you on that in part throughout the chair and in the next session with any of your research and by the way let's take policy or law in any way we think you provide objective and non-partisan information for you but if you take the handout of those steps and questions for long-distance and foster care care clothes, these opioid and substance abuse crime fly by the state I was invited to question the number of children of the age of one under an interim foster in 2018 and quite a high level shift in child welfare funding structure and see a lot of activity and interest for the legislative response to the country we've been given a lot of communication feeling a lot of the question and I'm going to give you a summary of that today like that it got to slide 8 going to our website, click on this bill we're going to provide a summary of my little picture of my relationship to the legislation with all of these and we anticipate the questions the legislative government has to incentivate the country foster care guidance to meet the few I already think are required in the court example some states have established foster care provision services programs others some guidance on the implementation process some states have required to teach a plan on a digital issue in the legislation and this is a screenshot of some of the magical ceremonies from our website they also require the analysis and cross projection to determine how they also require the accounting for the analysis of their in-home foster care provision services programs and funds will be added to the legislation as legislation in the case of needs that must be done in the RCT mayoral legislation also we have a new report role in the QRT requirement again the new report requires you to do the analysis on the specific time frame and double the state bill and that is such a miracle like a lot of changes the early introduction to the teaching plan has been created but it also requires an inventory of existing provision programs and taxes to provide the identification of a network of services providers now in this new example with the legislation we're tracking with two updated regularly we just updated again last week we keep the legislation on there so many people perhaps fail and again if you don't know anything about the legislation and we'll be providing more information on any of the bills state authorities are looking at guidance and what are the things we want to do is prepare a list of that because it's been a great interest to be able to use the two legislatures and also budget years program and a variety of pieces as well about like images just I want to I think if you are doing any compiling on like one sheet of definitions and things like that that would be very helpful okay please thank you alright, slide 12 is really good I'm sorry we're back we'll be talking about a lot of stakeholders including all kinds of folks in the court education Medicaid or child services health and provider communities and again also the state children's families we're seeing a lot of work and development on those outcomes but I'm sure what we care I think it's just necessary that we get it being appropriately leveraged so when you're looking at value first you're looking at Medicaid you're looking at the budget you're looking at something about what the state should want for the children's families I think we know how to actually develop the value for the central subcommittee and the government's legislation and the current 2019 discussion like being oriented and after this on the next slide we're giving it something similar or the law makers how is the implementation work with they did an act of legislation and by the way there was representation for the legislative executive and judicial branch of the government on this monthly basis they've got the implications of it with the state so it took the design which we are trying to apply in Virginia to develop physical actors any around family firms there's no double work for it and they look at things like the weakest of efforts they also define the way the children are working here they work on determining the current residential treatment provider's ability to use QRTD requirements and other things, it's set to here to implement this October 1, 2019 but I understand they may be taking some of it away now in order to better prepare to be required and the prevention prevention fees as well so on that slide it says expected implementation date what are they implementing they're three branch team or the other things family first has done a review of the dates and the two major the major implementation date the first date 1, 2019 and that is the date when the dates can begin cleaning reimbursement for provision services if they have options to participate in the provision services provisions of family first and for the congregate care provisions which are a group team however, family 21 it will be in the congregate care procedure knowing that the dates would need time that this would be a heavy burden for many states for all those states such as Vermont states that don't have evidence-based provision services they need a heavy burden to be but they may not be accredited by the national body or by the state it doesn't, they may not have the requirements around 24-7 burden staff so and that's what that implementation is thank you Nina I just wasn't sure what you were referencing so that's clear now thank you thank you thank you starting where it would look like 5-10 years from now slide 18 to think about what the next steps might be when they get back to their home state what they knew about this meeting was in August but so it's no a new census date was moving forward 2019 implementation of this date was what to do when a census family first held a census date and we asked the number of male congregate here so Nina in identifying those four are those questions or assessments that NCSL and others think are important benchmarks for moving forward yeah we did work with the family program to come up with a question I put the Colorado quiet analysis on how many homes are available how many children are in care and how many foster homes are available what types of foster homes whether or not they're right in them what that number is how does that compare to the number of children in care and we believe that because family first is requiring that the group placement stage the line that the group placement should be for children with very specific diagnoses that there will be a need to put the children that don't need those requirements into family hospital so that they can critical to know what that count is Nina I'm going to need you I apologize we've delayed the call on you back I'm going to need you to wrap up I just got a note saying there's only has 15 minutes from this time now no problem you can just be like so I'm going to come up and make it count Nina thank you so very much and I appreciate your willingness to educate this group and take us forward so thank you again you're welcome bye sorry thank you I know just a little bit 4 5 to leave thank you thank you and thank you for agreeing and I realize that now is 15 minutes if not to talk with us yeah and I have an extra conflict about what the problem is okay I'm not sure we have the slides we have the slides we have got a bunch of information on what is family first so we we know right now a little bit about what is family first what we're really wondering about is what is our role as legislations okay without going into your slides given your time if you can focus on that that would be helpful well perfect if you have a question what I'm sure I'm going to give you the beginning of the slides here just provides a gather information about what you're currently working with you know we've begun to learn more about how some of the children are really glad to talk with them about for those younger for those with temporary things that they can have who's wanted to be quality but as you'll be provided for what the reason to talk with them for a number of reasons we're going to be early for a number of reasons but slide nine is sort of the first draft we looked at the data from Haan who's going to make these conclusions we looked at why children have to share that with Haan how might these terms be made and we looked at the reasons you know a lot of those reviews with mental health and care of the kids and the critical number of people who have mental health and care of what you're reading so we've gone through the issue of what you're going to do for how you're thinking about how you'll be at home while you're taking care of the children who are being provided to the children so slide nine is the reason you've done a lot of information on young children I think it's really cute that you understand that you at your parent and your children and your friends and your children and you've done a great job and since you've done a lot of information about children and your family you'll see that you've done a lot of things about that and you've done a lot of information on the child and so that's what you're going to do and you'll see it from the book what it was to say, but the real change just forwarded is that, well, if you have a mom who can't give her a baby to children, it's going to be quite a detail. I don't know if it's going to be a lot of talk about it, but I think it's a comment on what you can do. I'm going to say there's a lot of people who don't know about it. So I kind of just forwarded, I don't know if it's going to be a lot of talk about it, but the power of the baby is moving forward. Twenty years ago in Texas you said you were So that said, and once you decide to move forward, you need to correct those questions. How do you make it seem to be a good thing to do where it's going to become a good deal and not to be taken away from the kind of space that you're staying on? What are the best ways to do this in a kind of effective way? How do you make it into a better question? You need to answer those guys. What are the same thing? Same thing. How do you make it into a better way? So make sure that we'll continue on our way to get back to the stuff. Your families and children. We've got a fair amount of talking with them. We'll be able to make it to help them. Truly, think through what is the best way to do it. Do you have strategies at another time? If one of our goals is to talk to families and children, how do we get families and children, or how do we get two families and children without going to the usual and customary advocacy and organizations that provide services? Boom. We see they need to have a solution of their own conversation. And you, I mean, if you rate it as, we ought to be able to figure it out because of what's going to be for, what's it going to be, how do you know who your families are? A lot of people don't need to know what they're doing and what their department is doing. There's a lot to gain by doing it with the department around getting things from child protection. So if we're trying to look at it, we need to check with some of the families that we now don't need to complete. And so some of the places that we see those families that we've got a couple of other places to play in, in games, don't go to work, we have several classes on two terms, for example, because they realize they don't need to come in and have competition. It's not possible. Okay, thank you. Sure. You know, the next piece of this is, and the fact that you're also in the military and you're looking for this talk about, that you're actually acting with, you know, you're not, you're not, which is half of what you're doing without the aid of the ones that you've got to get together. Well, I know that the issues that are all so important and the ability that you all have to get together, the ability that we have to be in the first place, how to get together, how to get together, how do you get together, for example, what are we going to do? What are we going to do? What's going to play? And then what are we going to do? So we're going to make this show right now that we're also going to be in the second place. We're going to be playing polka, the terminal stage. And then you can't be done by the time we're 11. That's when we're still not 30, so try to be able to be, a group that's in there to really get together and be a couple of times. And that they will really take a picture of a band in an early, un-way, as well as making sure that I'm kind of bringing all the ideas to the table and all. One right now, the block, the what do you want me to think about? Well, it certainly was. And I want to be respectful of the fact that you have another meeting right now. So you may need that in contact. And this is really very helpful, especially the summary of it and the role of legislators. So thank you very much. Thank you. All right. Well, thank you so much for coming to this meeting. Thank you again so much for talking to me today. Thank you. Bye. Can I talk to you? We've been having a few minutes to write it. Yeah, we've been having a few minutes to write it. We just read it, so I can't write it. In the next minute, before we all onto one app, because every one day, our point is kind of self-improved. We have two more minutes. One is to write by the end of August. October 31st and November 21st. Oh, we have three more. Yes. Oh, OK. Oh, a few. 17, yes. And the one on the 31st is going to be across the street at the tax building on the 4th floor. I'll send an email up over to the floor. Did I ever tell you guys that? Yeah. I didn't. Well, I'll send it again as we get through it now. Well, what I'm certainly thinking about while we all are being in the room is that we start out the next meeting with a conversation about where are we and where do we want to go. And we also, I'm sorry, maybe you were on email. Maybe it was just me and I and Katie that were on the email. But we promised to have the back representation center come in and have an opportunity. I've also shifted. It's not on the SO side. Oh, OK. OK. Oh, to come in. Yes. And you know, people have the department the opportunity to come in as well. And then if there are other things we want us to make sure we put on that day, we both guess we'll start there.


The kills in this movie are really good. Bigfoot just walks up to some guy sleeping, try the thirteenth, muster board from this, picks up the sleeping, ahhh, there's a little swing in it, ahhh, then throws him on that branch, and spiked branch. There's also that one with that guy that, riding that motorcycle, and he gets off the motorcycle to go take a leak, and Bigfoot all comes out and chairs his way. Awww.  He throws that guy on that big saw, takes that guy's face and puts it on the stove. Aftermath is like, ho ho ho. Yeah, it looks good. Yeah, it looks good.


My name is Sam Bhatni. I am the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisible. So is pathological narcissism a blessing, or is it a curse? The surprising answer is, it depends. Start with healthy narcissism. Healthy narcissism is a mature, balanced love of oneself coupled with a sense, a stable sense of self-worth and self-esteem. Healthy narcissism implies knowledge of one's boundaries and a proportionate and realistic appraisal of one's achievements, strong points and traits. Pathological narcissism is often wrongly described as too much healthy narcissism, or too much self-esteem or self-confidence, but healthy pathological narcissism are two absolutely unrelated phenomena, which regrettably came to bear the same name. Confusing pathological narcissism with self-esteem or self-confidence betrays a fundamental ignorance of both.  The sick narcissist's sense of self-worth and self-esteem derive entirely from audience feedback. The narcissist has no self-esteem or self-worth of his own, he has no such ego functions coming from the inside. In the absence of observers, when the audience disperses, the narcissist shrivels to non-existence, he feels dead, he feels that he is disintegrating. Notice the narcissist's predatory habits in his constant pursuit of narcissistic supply. Pathological narcissism therefore is also an addictive behavior, without which the whole precariously balanced house of cars known as the narcissist tumbles down. Dysfunctions are reactions to abnormal environments and abnormal situations. Abuse, trauma, even smothering and doting. All these are abnormal situations which normally produce abnormal reactions. Paradoxically, the narcissist's dysfunction allows him to function. It compensates for lapses and deficiencies by exaggerating certain tendencies and traits.  When you can't see, you overcompensate through the sense of touch, or through the sense of smell. It's the same with the narcissist. Pathological narcissism is a result of over-sensitivity, the repression of overwhelming memories and experiences, and the suppression of an ordinarily strong negative feelings such as hurt, envy, anger and humiliation. There is all these, deep inside, and then springs forth in the form of the false self to help the narcissist to function somehow. That the narcissist functions at all is because of his pathology and thanks to it. The alternative is completely compensation and disintegration. In time, the narcissist learns how to leverage his pathology, how to use it to his advantage, how to deploy it in order to maximize benefits and utilities. In other words, how to transform his curse into a blessing. Narcissists are obsessed with delusions of fantastic grandeur and superiority. As a result, they are very competitive. They are strongly compelled, where others are merely motivated. Narcissists are driven. They are relentless, tireless and often ruthless. Sometimes, narcissists make it to the top. But even when they do not, they strive, and they fight, and they learn, and they climb, and they create, and they think, and they devise, and they design, and they conspire. Face to the challenge, the narcissist is likely to do better than non-narcissists simply because he cannot afford not to. Yet we often find that narcissists abandon their efforts in mainstream. Give up, suddenly, punish, lose interest, devalue former pursuits, fail, or slump. Why is that? It's because narcissists are prone to self-destructive and self-defeating behaviors. First, they are the self-punishing and guilt-purging behaviors. These are intended to inflict punishment on the narcissist and thus to instantly relieve him of overwhelming anxiety which accumulates along the way. This is very reminiscent of the obsessive-compulsive behavior or disorder. It starts when the narcissist feels guilty.  Whatever it is, in early life, the narcissist internalized and introjected the voices of meaningful and authoritative others, parents, role models, even peers, that consistently and convincingly judge him to be no good, blameworthy, deserving of punishment or retaliation, bad or corrupt. They kept telling him that, and he kept believing them. This normally forces a sense of guilt. The narcissist's life is thus transformed into an ongoing trial, permanent trial. The constancy of this trial, the never-adjourning tribunal, the proceedings, this is the punishment. This is a Kafkaesque kind of trial. There's no meaning in it. It's undecipherable. It's never-ending. It leads to no verdict. It's subject to mysterious and fluid laws presided over by capricious and sadistic judges, the narcissist, erstwhile parents or role models. This type of narcissist masochistically frustrates his deepest desires and drives. Obstructs his own efforts, alienates his friends and sponsors, provokes figures and authority to punish him, to demote him or ignore him. Actively seeks and solicits his appointment, failure or mistreatment, and relishes them, incites anger and rejection, bypasses or rejects opportunities, and engages in excessive self-sacrifice. In their seminal tone, Personality Disorders in Modern Life, Theodore Millen and Roger Davis describe the diagnosis of masochistic or self-defeating personality disorder found in the appendix of the DSM-3 revised, but excluded from the DSM-4. While the narcissist is rarely a full-fledged masochist, many a narcissist exhibits some of the traits of this masochistic personality disorder. But this is only one group or category of self-defeating and self-destructive behaviors. There are others, for instance, the extracting behaviors. People with Personality Disorders in general, and narcissists in particular, are very afraid of real, mature intimacy. Intimacy is formed not only within a couple, but also in a workplace, in a neighborhood, with friends, while collaborating on a project in myriad other circumstances. Intimacy is another group, which is the result of interactions in constant and predictable, safe, propinquity. Personality Disorder people interpret intimacy as counterdependence, emotionless strangulation, the snuffing of freedom, a kind of death in installments, slavery. They are terrorized by intimacy, and to avoid it, the self-destructive and self-defeating acts are intended to dismantle the very foundation of a successful relationship, the S, the essentials of a career, the rudiments of a project, the underlying friendships. Narcissists feel elated and relieved after they unshackled these chains, having been abandoned. They feel that they broke a siege, broke through a siege, that they liberated, free at last, and then there is the default behaviors. We are all to some degree inertial, afraid of new situations, new opportunities, new challenges, new circumstances, new demands, and in general afraid of the new. Being healthy, being successful, getting married, becoming a mother, someone's boss, becoming a father, all these often entail abrupt breaks with the past. Some self-defeating behaviors in the Narcissist are intended to preserve the past, to restore it, to protect it from the winds of change, to self-deceptively skirt and avoid promising opportunities while seeming to embrace them. Moreover, to the Narcissist, a challenge or even a guaranteed eventual triumph are meaningless in the absence of onlookers. He needs observers, he needs spectators, he needs audience to render everything he does, everything he accomplishes, of some meaning. The Narcissist needs the audience to accord a firm, recoil, approve, admire, adore, fear, detest, in short, attend to him. He needs attention. Narcissist craves the attention and depends on the Narcissistic supply that only others can provide. The Narcissist derives sustenance only from outside.  The Narcissist's enhanced performance is predicated on the existence of a challenge, real or imaginary, and of an audience. So this linkage, north of two theoreticians since Freud, is what underlies the Narcissistic pathology. Ultimately, most Narcissists end up failures and losers.  His sense of entitlement, his haughtiness and innate conviction of his own superiority, and his aversion to routine. Start with the sense of entitlement. The Narcissist's sense of entitlement encourages his indolence. His laziness. He firmly believes that he should be spoon-fed, and that accomplishments and honors should be handed to him on a silver platter, without any commensurate effort on his part. His mere existence justifies such exceptional treatment, he says. Many Narcissists are underqualified. They lack the skills necessary because they can't be bothered with the minutiae of obtaining an academic degree, a professional training, or passing an exam. The Narcissist's arrogance and belief that he is superior to others, or whom he typically holds in contempt. In other words, the Narcissist's grandiose fantasies hamper his ability to function in society. The cumulative outcomes of this social dysfunction gradually transform the Narcissist into a reckless and an outcast. The Narcissist is shunned by colleagues, employers, neighbors, erstwhile friends, and finally, even by long-suffering family members, who tire of his tyrants, rants, and grandiose skills, which never come to nothing. Unable to work in a team, to compromise, to give credit where due, to strive to towards long-term goals, the Narcissist's skilled and gifted as he may be finds himself unemployed and unemployable, his bad reputation preceding him. Even when the Narcissist is offered a job, or a business opportunity, he usually recalls bolts and abstracts each and every stage of negotiations or the transaction. But this passive-aggressive, negativeistic, and masochistic conduct has nothing to do with the Narcissist aforementioned indolence and laziness. The Narcissist is not afraid of some forms of hard work. He invests, for instance, in ordinary amounts of energy, thoughtful, planning, zest and sweat, in securing Narcissist discipline.  The Narcissist's sabotage of new employment or business prospects is owing to his abhorrence of routine. Narcissist's field trapped, shackled and enslaved by the Cotiguille, by the pedestrian, by repetitive tasks that are inevitably involved in fulfilling one's assignments. Narcissist's hate, systematic, methodical, step-by-step, long-term approach. Possessed of magical thinking, Narcissist would rather wait for miracles to happen than just make them happen. Jobs, business deals, and teamwork require perseverance and tolerance of boredom, which the Narcissist so relaxed. Life forces most Narcissist into the hard slog of a steady job or a succession of jobs. Such unfortunate Narcissist, coerced into a framework that they resent, are likely to act out and to erupt in a series of self-destructing and self-defeating acts, as we've described above. But there are other Narcissist, luckier ones, those who can afford not to work. They laze about, indulge themselves in a variety of idle, trivial pursuits, sick entertainment and thrills wherever and whenever they can. And why are their lives away? This kind of Narcissist are at once content and bitter. They're content with their lifestyle and the minimum demands it opposes on them. But they're also bitter, because they haven't achieved more. They haven't reached the pinnacle of their profession. They haven't become as rich or famous or powerful as they deserve to be. They lack the recognition which they seek. But this is the Narcissistic Paradox, a life of absurdities, approach avoidance, seek and defeat yourself when you are found. This is what it means to be a Narcissist.


Aunga equniai nohwag wedi zenglian dain zessa aunga i nama ballwain te iakwai. Ucau organi i nama i Wikia New Zealand. Cadst brillo, ments, ira ni cognile piawis aunga i warnu. Ia gudu priamara nina. Ia New Zealand, ii ngama i nama i bladau, aunga i rai. Iau rai i rugby, iai i soca, ia ngama i — Ia gudu i gandzi piawis aniziaumpi, ia New Zealand idu i ka direnau i woi. o'r skol, o'r girl's school, usually, a' they stream the classes and they give you a whole lot of tests and I managed to get in the class that seemed to be at the top. We were a very baddy Behaviour class, I'm afraid, Microbiology and Biochemistry and Physiology and the like. A' did Anthropology as well, it was quite interesting. A' the two classes I really didn't like, the two lecturers that were the worst were Microbiology and Biochemistry, so naturally in year two I took those two courses. I thought Microbiology was fascinating, small organisms could take over enormous organisms and kill them and control them and I thought that was fascinating. So that was great, I did that in the second year and in that second year I also won the Lions New Zealand Youth of the Year. So I got sent to America for two, three months and I had someone take notes for me who was very good at taking notes. So I came back and I passed with flying colours, I think because the person who took the notes was so good at taking notes, but anyway, passed really well and eventually got through my bachelor's degree and what you can then do is you can do an honours degree, one year of research and that was great. I mean it was scary because you're going into the lab and you're doing something no-one else in the world is going to do and you don't know what the answer is, a beautiful thing is there's no wrong answer. So that was quite an inspirational year for you, it was really fantastic and so I worked in the fourth year of university, I worked in a lab that worked on viruses that attacked bacteria and it was just really classic microbiology. But it was inspired to Toronto and the guy who we went to work for, we were working on how HIV got around the immune system. So this is a really important problem, you know, HIV attacks the immune system and you know, how does it actually do this? And if we could sort of unlock that code, could we now release the immune system for us? We had this guy in Fraser Metis at the old Brisbane airport, which was a shed I think in those days, and we started working at the Princess Alexandra Hospital. What we weren't to know at the time was that Ian had been working on a vaccine with his colleague Jan Zoo and while I had doubled at the side in terms of experience and I went on a few trips with Ian to the companies that were interested in pushing the vaccine, most of the work had been done at that stage and what occurred in the end was, you know, the story goes that Gardasil was licensed to Merck and that became the first cervical cancer vaccine and it was an incredibly interesting experience seeing something go from bench to bedside. We're still working, so the vaccine is essentially going to stop people getting cancer because they haven't yet been infected with the virus. Now, that's going to take a long, long time to come through, so we still have a whole pool of females and now males who are on the road to cancer caused by this virus. So we need a therapeutic product or therapy for those already on that. So we've been working on that now for quite some time. We've got some repromising drugs that we think will cure people of both cervical cancer but also head and neck cancer so I've watched about a third of it caused by papillomavirus and so there are other sorts of cancers we can cure. Of course, eventually the vaccine will wipe those out, hopefully, as long as everyone gets vaccinated. So we've been interested in that. I've also been interested in some of the other causes of cancer, viral causes of cancer. So we've worked on myrchal cell or working on myrchal cell carcinoma which is the deadliest skin cancer. It's quite rare but it's more deadly than melanoma. It's caused by virus. So we're interested in how that works and it's a great job. Come to work every day. I don't know what my students are going to bring to me but it's fantastic to see when discoveries are made how excited they are.


Welcome to Toffy TV, here is the maths reaction. Eviton 2 Brighton and how well being 3. Another defeat for Eviton and quite frankly an absolutely abysmal display from the Blues who looked like, they didn't only look like they hadn't played for two and a half weeks, they looked like they'd never played together before. Absolutely appalling performance. The manager got it wrong as far as I'm concerned. Five at the back at home to Brighton who'd won one in 12 games is pathetic to say the least. To then persist with that with a flat back five, which is what it was for most of the game, is embarrassing. Domino Calvert-Lewin was back in the side and was isolated. He just made so many mistakes today. It set the tone really, Seamus Coleman at left back. The lad struggling to play right back at the moment and he was left back. Moving players around is embarrassing. He had Luca Dean on the bench quite clearly. I can't wait to see the back of Luca Dean. That's how it looks like because if you've got your first choice left back, sat on the bench, then there's quite clearly a problem.  It doesn't look like you're giving him a game at right, but it's embarrassing. It's stubbornness to the extreme, which is fine if he's got a decision to make and he doesn't think Luca Dean's being professional or whatever it is, then at least play someone who's got experience of playing left back in Ben Goffrey. There was no need in my opinion to play five at the back today. None whatsoever. We were up against Brighton. Brighton, I like the way they play football, they're a decent football side, but they don't warrant you coming and being worried about them. They've won one game in 12 before today. We've just again done what we've done numerous times under them this season and worried about them, which is embarrassing really. The game got off to the worst possible start. The team who's come out, it was a lot of people scratching their heads and then the game started and very quickly, you were like you knew in the first couple of minutes. Already Mason Holgate, right? There's a stupid back pass that almost put us in trouble and then Brighton went ahead and it was a good goal actually, a good ball in. Chested off beautifully and finished by McAllister. I couldn't understand why they took so long because McAllister made the run from deep. It was a nice finish, but apparently it was, I think he might have been mawpised, chested, he was looking whether he was offside. It stood, Brighton were up, and Everton just never really did anything. Never got going in the first half. Went soon enough down for it. I mean the referee, I won't go on too much about him, but he was appalling. He was absolutely appalling. Booked John Joe Kenny for a decent tackle. Day he was throwing tackles in, getting away with it. It was a foul on Dominic Alvalumin on the halfway line, should have been given. Drag to the floor, the referee allowed play to go on. Beshwmur, then went on a great run. Everton made the two easy four and he got a corner. Corner comes in flick on, it's 2-0. The game's looked over, ultimately was over. 2-0 down. We then get a penalty, which was a penalty. I don't know why the referee didn't give it because he was embarrassing the referee. But it was a stone wall penalty. The lad didn't play the ball, didn't attempt to play the ball. Stupid from his, I mean, if I was a green pot, I'd have been ffuming with him. Because there was no reason to shove Gordon in the back when he was going away from goal. Dominic Alvalumin had the perfect chance to mark his return with a goal. And he blazed the penalty over. Short run-up blazed it over the bar instead of just making sure he hit the target. 2-0 down. That half time. Expected to come out and have made changes at half time. Expected because he was warming up after about 25 minutes. He didn't, he left it as it was. We got a goal back, Anthony Gordon. He was probably Evan's brightest player, but was Evan's brightest player on the day. Scored big deflection and got us back into the game. We'd come out and in all fairness, we had a real go at them early on. The crowd got behind the team. We got a goal back and we were looking like we were going to equalise. They were all over the place a little bit. A couple of the wrong choices at times, but we were getting in behind. Damari Gray really come to life in the second half. Alan forced a good save, Aras Sanchez. We had other moments where it just didn't quite come off, but we were the team press and they brightened and didn't do anything. And then out of nowhere we make a hash of clear in the ball and McAllister pops in in the top corner to brilliant strike for 3-1. But they come from nowhere really, but for me the most frustrating bit was you could see that when Brighton did break, they were outnumbering us in a couple of times, they played the wrong pass on the counter, but we needed another man in midfield and he sat on his hands, the manager. Totally nutter, he sat on his hands. We had Gobarman on the bench, we had Andre Gomez on the bench, Tyler on Yango, all midfield players who could have maybe come into that midfield and put the extra body in there. We could have gone four at the back, we didn't need five at the back. They had Maupai up and that was it. It just didn't warrant five defenders on the pitch and yet he left it. To me it just complicated things. It wasn't as if Coleman and Kenny were raiding up and down the wing. Kenny was trying to get forward. Sheaim was blessing us to turn back because he hasn't got a left foot. It was poor. We 3-1 down and he brings on. We got a goal back and he scored and it was a good goal actually, a really good goal. It was a good ball in. Kenny played it in. Gordon played it in. He held it up brilliantly and played around the corner to Kenny, put it back and Gordon swept it home. It was a nice goal, really well worked and it was no more than Gordon desired. Then Anthony Gordon had an opportunity to make a 3-3 and go play for him and cut it back and he just couldn't get it beyond Sanchez. Rondon came on and offered nothing, let's be honest. We huffed and puffed. We could have got a draw in the end. They were at a few close moments. They were scrambling things away. We had 17 attempts at goal today at 12. They nicked the possession by, I think, 51% of 49. I don't really think they can make a case for fully deserving the victory but they scored the goals and that's all that matters in the day. I don't want to sit here and try. It wasn't a hard book story at all today. We were absolutely terrible and it's another. We've won one game of football since September. I think it was the 26th when we beat Norwich. We've had one win, it's January. It's embarrassing, it really is. One win in 12 games is absolutely scandalous and I don't know what we do because these players aren't good enough, end of. Lads who come in are not good, no one near good enough. The manager is making a mistake after a mistake. That team he's picked today is shocking, really, with that formation. It's absolutely shocking.  Have the thing to go. Don't be so stupidly locked into your ways that you think this is what I've gone with and this is going to work when it quite clearly isn't working. I've just listened to his post-matt interview and he's on about what we know. We're disappointed with the goals we can see. We weren't focused and we work on it in training and all that. It just sounds like Martinis, when people were telling him that he had to worry about defending and it's just pathetic, really pathetic. But these players have got to stand up and be counted.  Battling for everything. When you're in that team, you give everything for it and there's too many players in our side that just don't want it enough for me. The core and Alan are not accusing those two, those two being quite good, but I thought they were terrible today. A pair of them give the ball away so much. Alan tries to drive the team forward. He needs another player in there with them. Shedder all season, those two aren't good enough, and it's true, especially when you haven't got people like Retialas in the side, taking it forward or Townsend doing lots of work. Just all over the place. The manager has really put us in trouble today with that side. I'm not correcting it. You can sometimes think of a formation, think this might work, not doing anything about it when it isn't working. It's shocking. Fair play to Brighton. We are in a relegation fight now. I didn't think we were going to be what we are. So what can we do? We need seven wins and I don't know where we're getting them right now. It can change, of course. It can very quickly. We need all our best players fit and available right now because we are in a little bit of trouble now. Man of the match, Anthony Gordon. I think the only one there. I think Damari Greig, come to life second half, he worked this. He's the one who gets on the edge of his seat. Though Dom don't know what I can certainly hasn't played for four months. But man of the match, it was Anthony Gordon. So there you go. Another disappointing home to FIFA Everton and that fifth year on the run we've lost the opening game of the new year. So boss. We are boss for the first game of the season. First game of the new year. There you go. Let me know what you think in the comments. Have a good night. Happy new year. And there you go. See you later.