Item number SCP-420 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-420 is to be contained in Storage Locker 1014-420 at Site-3. Level 3 clearance is required to remove it from storage. Samples of SCP-421 not in use for testing should be stored in the container marked SCP-421-DECON in Locker 1014-420 until they lose potency, at which time they can be disposed of as biohazardous liquid waste. Please make note of the time and date in the attached log when samples of SCP-421 are added to the DECON container. Those infected with SCP-422 are non-contagious and should be contained in Standard Solitary DEClass Secure Confinement. On reaching Phase 3, infectees' rations should be doubled. Phase 4 infectees should be kept under constant surveillance for signs of advancement to Phase 6, in which case the infected must be destroyed by high temperature incineration.  When emptied, a small amount of whiskey-like liquid, SCP-421, remains in the bottle, appearing as liquid adhering to the sides. This liquid pulls back into a few millimeters of SCP-421 over time. Drinking SCP-421 will cause SCP-422, a non-fatal but consuming degeneration and mutation of skin and keratinous tissue, hair, fingernails, etc., in the infected. Cases of SCP-422 should be contained for further study. Early cases can be treated. SCP-422 has only been shown to affect humans. SCP-420 cannot be washed out. Liquid added in turns into SCP-421. When poured out, SCP-421 retains its properties for up to 48 hours. Chemical analysis shows no anomalies in SCP-421 before or after loss of potency. It is identical to brand whiskey when potent, and has all the same effects in addition to causing SCP-422. When it loses its potency, the chemical structure changes to that of concentrated urine. Your analysis of decontaminated SCP-421 shows that it belongs to a human male, approximate age 50, with severe liver degeneration. Further analysis using data expunged shows that the urine contains trace quantities of data expunged, consistent with SCP-422's infection progress varies somewhat from patient to patient, but can be described in several phases. Detailed descriptions for therapeutic purposes can be found in Medical Document 420-A4. Brief descriptions for containment purposes follow. Phase 1. Immediately to 12 hours after consuming SCP-421, the infected's mouth becomes dry and swollen, leading to slurred speech. Note that this slurred speech is NOT consistent with intoxication. Recording 420-C004, attached, contains a comparison of speech patterns, resulting from intoxication compared with SCP-422. Within 24 hours of consuming SCP-421, the infected's finger and toenails become extremely brittle, cracking up the finger and bleeding. Fingernail growth is at the same time accelerated. Ingrown nails are an inevitability. Infection of these ingrown nails and open sores is identical to uninfected subjects. The infected's hair exhibits similar characteristics. Phase 2. One to two weeks after Phase 1.  Like nails and hair, growth is also accelerated, replacing lost tissue and growing more and heavy, thick folds. Genetic analysis of keratinocytes shows mutations, similar to skin cancer. The tissue undergoes additional vascularization similar to cancer cell metastasis. Though apparently cancerous, these cells have not shown any tendency for detachment, resulting in systemic spread. Thus, Phase 2 is not malignant. Even if Phase 2 keratinocytes are injected into the blood, they will reattach to the skin layer or die. Intervention of the site is fully functional. Growth of the skin folds inside the infectee's mouth prevents communication. Although, growth progresses such that the infected can still breathe and eat. Infectees show a complete disregard for what they eat. Only one post-Phase 2 infected has been observed outside laboratory conditions. The majority of SCP-422 infectees die due to malnutrition or food poisoning, infection of open wounds, or alcohol poisoning from overconsumption of SCP-421 in this or earlier phases. Phase 3. Three to six weeks after Phase 2. The infected loses innervation of the skin and other keratinous surfaces. Nerves in the skin layer grow uncontrollably, but no longer send signals back to the central nervous system. Genetic analysis of skin samples from this time shows mutations in keratinocytes so severe as to no longer resemble human DNA. Though individual samples suggest the mutations are random, analysis of samples from different infectees shows a consistent mutational path leading to a final genotype with relatively little variation. In other words, the skin of the infected is a different organism entirely, possibly a different species, related only to other infectee's skin. At this stage, tumors may form inside the skin layer, analogous to several types of tissue, including muscle and secretory cells. Also at this stage, the skin slows its cracking and falling apart, although it never stops entirely.  Fingernails and hair grow out from the skin at apparently random locations. Phase 4. Three to seven days after Phase 3. The skin begins to twitch and writhe on its own in apparently random patterns. Differentiated tumors develop into whole surfaces of contractile and other tissues. Small throats begin to form, leading from the outside of the skin to the circulation of the host, but are mainly non-functional at this point. The host's mouth still does most of the eating, although the host itself doesn't appear to be eating now. The mouth is instead working on its own. Cat scans of the host's brain activity show panic and fear as the only dominant thoughts, and motor groups in the jaw-muscle area are not recruited. Rather, chewing and swallowing are forced by the motions of the mutated skin. Phase 5. One to two days after Phase 4. Phase 4 and 5 may overlap significantly, with different portions of the skin entering Phase 5 faster than others. The twitching, writhing skin activity gives way to organized motion. The skin can now be considered a separate organism from the host. It moves the body like a puppet, albeit slowly, and exhibits extremely rudimentary intelligence. It is a scavenger organism and opportunistic predator. The skin digests food by excreting a clear enzymaceous fluid onto proposed food, leaving it to digest, and then folding the food into itself. Ingested food is taken into folds lined with thick, heavy hairs, and caratinous plates leading down into the throats. Inside this mouth, a grinding net of caratinous plates breaks down food, which is then filtered and absorbed into the host's blood. Activity scans of the brain show many hosts at this stage have gone insane. Some, however, seem relatively calm, and are processing input from eyes and ears normally. Phase 6. Most of the infected remain at Phase 5 indefinitely. The trigger which causes a shift into Phase 6 is unknown. The skin begins rapidly growing hair and caratinous teeth, increasing in mass, and data expunged. Infected patients who appear to be entering Phase 6 should be destroyed immediately by total incineration. Treatment. SCP-422 can be treated in Phase 1 by aggressive radiation and chemotherapy, coupled with constant intravenous administration of Formula 420-A090-T174B. This treatment has a 73% success rate, full removal of SCP-422, and 21% fatality. From Phase 2 onward, constant administration of 420-A090-T174B will slow the progression by 2 to 10-fold, but rarely removes it entirely. Success rate at full removal of SCP-422 drops by about 25% per day after the onset of Phase 2. Additionally, 420-A090-T174B appears to be at least part of the trigger to entering Phase 6. 420-A090-T174B treatment should be halted in Phase 5. Recovery Log, 420. SCP-420 was found in the possession of an unidentified vagrant in the United Kingdom. Agents had been sent to investigate reports of a bridge troll, which was revealed to be the aforementioned vagrant in Phase 5 of SCP-422. The vagrant's skin appeared to be using SCP-420 to create and drink SCP-421 constantly through its mouths, although its primary sustenance came via refuse, local pets, and expunged. The vagrant was collected and designated SCP-420-A. SCP-420-A perished during experimentation on 2010 and was incinerated after autopsy. Item number SCP-447 Object Class Safe Special Containment Procedures SCP-447-1 is to be kept within a 50-gallon clear plastic container at all times, monitored by camera by a security level 3 or higher staff member to prevent overflow. Areas to be maintained at level 1 clean room status to prevent contamination by foreign matter at a site at least 10 km from any cemetery, morgue, or mortuary. Under no circumstances is SCP-447 to be allowed to come into contact with dead bodies. Because SCP-447-1 constantly excretes a viscous greenish slime designated SCP-447-2, at a rate of approximately 10 cc's an hour, a class D personnel in good physical condition is to be detailed to harvest the excreted slime at least once per day. SCP-447-2 can be harvested using any appropriate equipment, so long as safety procedures are carefully adhered to in order to prevent on-site fatalities. Slime can be transported in an ordinary sealed glass or plastic container through any standard mode of transportation, provided that there is no risk of the slime coming into contact with a dead body en route. Although malodorous, the slime harvested from SCP-447-1 is non-toxic, non-corrosive, and non-radioactive. It is, in fact, perfectly safe so long as it does not come into contact with a dead body. The slime is edible and reportedly makes a good salad dressing. Adding 10 cc of SCP-447-2 to 1 gallon of gasoline improves fuel efficiency by 150%. Furthermore, SCP-447-2 can be refined into a useful lubricant, approved for use in all SCP Foundation installations, so long as said lubricant is never used to lubricate dead bodies. All staff assigned to SCP-447 are to be screened by polygraph for any suicidal, necrophilic, or homicidal tendencies. In addition, all staff assigned to SCP-447 must be in good health and good physical condition, and must adhere to on-site safety regulations at all times. This is to minimize the risk of SCP-447 or its generated slime coming into contact with a dead body. Description SCP-447-1 is a green sphere, approximately 5 cm in diameter, with a spongy surface texture and a weight of 1.37 kg. The object is warmed to the touch, approximately the same temperature as a human body, although its core temperature is slightly higher. Personnel handling SCP-447-1 have reported no adverse effects, so long as SCP-447-1 does not come into contact with a dead body. SCP-447 was retrieved by Foundation agents in the city of California, United States of America. The incident clearly illustrates the danger inherent in allowing either SCP-447-1 unit to come into contact with a dead body. The dangers of allowing SCP-447-1 or 2 to come into contact with dead bodies have been clearly documented. Detailed eyewitness reports can be found in Appendix-447-B, prior incidents. To summarize, however, initial effects include data expunged per 05-level directive. Research into this field forbidden upon pain of immediate termination or demotion to Class D. Please contact your supervisor for more details. Addendum-447-A SCP-447 downgraded from Keter to SAFE, so long as security measures are in place to prevent SCP-447 from coming into contact with dead bodies. Please see Experiment Log-447-A for further potential applications of SCP-447. Experiment Log-447-A Experiment Log for SCP-447-2 Approved by 05 Project Head, Dr. A. Cleff Date Expunged Test Subject, SCP-882 Procedure SCP-447-2 was refined into a lubricant. SCP-882 was temporarily removed from its seawater bath and SCP-447-2 applied his lubricant to all joints and connections. Results Although SCP-447-2 was successful in reducing grinding and noise by 50%, it was also successful in removing rust from the structure. SCP-882 was immediately returned to its seawater bath, and staff on hand were placed in quarantine for examination. Notes Let's not try that again, shall we? Dr. A. Cleff Date Expunged Test Subject One guinea pig, purchased from Pet Shop Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. Care was taken to keep the subject's head above the level of the fluid to prevent the death of the test subject. Results Subjects fur became saturated with the fluid. Test item required several hours of grooming to remove SCP-447-2 from its fur. No further deleterious effects reported. Notes After careful washing to remove all traces of SCP-447-2 from its fur, subject was subsequently consumed by Agent Rui, who is of Peruvian descent. Said Agent reported that the meat was, in his own words, the best kuyi I've ever had. Approval for testing of SCP-447-2 as a marinade is currently on hold. Pending review of whether or not a steak constitutes a dead body. Date Expunged Test Subject One tablet, SCP-500 Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes. Results In addition to curing all diseases, subject now also leaves the patient's breath feeling minty fresh. Notes About what was expected. Seriously guys, what were you thinking would happen? Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-76-2 Procedure 500 ml of SCP-447-2 was added to 500 ml distilled vodka and two dozen ice cubes, shaken well, and strained into a pitcher. Approximately 0.2 liters of the mixture poured into a glass with mint and a lime garnish. Mixed was taken to SCP-76-2, who was told, A. Abel, try this, it's pretty good. Results SCP-76-2 agreed that the mixture was, in his words, refreshing, but immediately lost interest when told of SCP-447-2's interaction with dead bodies. Notes Because of SCP-76-2's tendency to become and or create dead bodies, further contact with SCP-447 is forbidden. Date Expunged Test Subject 1 Pentium-4 Computer 1.5 GHz With Data Expunged Procedure Subject was immersed in SCP-447-2 for five minutes with the power cord unplugged. Results Subject became caked in goo and no longer functions. Notes Whoever came up with this one should be caked in the head. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject SCP-63 Procedure Dr. W. W. W. used SCP-447 instead of toothpaste to brush his teeth with SCP-63. Results Given that Dr. W. W. W. doesn't need to use toothpaste to begin with, not much really. Notes What is with you people? Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject 1 Dead Body Notes Test was aborted. The scientist who made the proposal has been reassigned as class D personnel. Notes 2 Seriously guys, how hard is it to understand? No Dead Bodies None Nada 9 Don't think about it, don't joke about it, and most certainly don't do it. C.S. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject Dr. A. Clef Procedure Dr. A. Clef was ambushed in the hallway, dragged into a room with a bathtub full of SCP-447-2, and immersed for approximately 25 seconds. Results Subject became irate, and threatened to kill staff members carrying out the experiment if it were not for the fact that doing so would violate experimental protocol. Notes As soon as this mess is cleaned up, you will all be missed. Dr. A. Clef Date Expunged Test Subject Potassium Nitrate Sugar Mix Procedure A spoonful of SCP-447 was added to the mix of potassium nitrate and sugar in order to make a makeshift smoke grenade. Results Not only did the new mix slow down the combustion in such a way that the generated smoke was 10 times greater and lasted approximately 5 minutes longer than the original mix, but it also colored the smoke with a green tint and left it with a minty smell. Notes Not bad for a $3 smoke grenade. Although this wouldn't work so well in the field, the odds of the smoke reaching a dead body are just too high. Date Expunged Test Subject Professor Snyder Procedure Two drops One microliter each of SCP-447, one in each of Professor Snyder's eyes. Note that Professor Snyder has an astigmatism and normally wears corrective eyewear. Results Vision was clear and focused for six hours, though Professor Snyder reported to now see everything in a green tint. Subject's eyesight soon returned to normal, though both eyes are now a much more brilliant green than before. Notes Oh well, I look better with my glasses anyway. Professor Snyder Notes Two This might be marketable as vision correction, but people might notice the extra green. Regardless, I'd like to request a couple of leaders of this stuff for personal use. Agent Mar Date Expunged Test Subject Eight ounce 236 milliliter glass of skim milk Procedure Two teaspoons 10 milliliters of SCP-447 thoroughly stirred into milk Results Milk turned a bright green in color and was slightly thicker with a slight minty flavor. Chemical analysis later indicated that the concoction was now lactose free. Notes You know, we might be able to market this stuff. I'm pretty sure dead bodies don't drink milk. Professor Snyder Date Expunged Test subject 15 pounds 6.8 kilograms Quick dry cement Procedure Cement powder in five gallons or 19 liters of SCP-447 Rotated inside a standard miniature cement mixer Results Mixture took on a green tinge and solidified to a hardness 50% greater than normal concrete, though it took twice as long to dry. Notes It seems promising, but it's time consuming to make, and the risks of a dead body falling on a slab of this stuff is too high. Professor Snyder Date Expunged Test subject Two cups of water 475 milliliters Procedure One tablespoon 15 milliliters of SCP-447-2 thoroughly stirred into water Results Water turned a green tint, but is otherwise normal Contaminants reduced by 78% Notes This would make a good chlorine substitute for swimming pools All the cleanliness of chlorinated water without the bleachy smell or hair discoloration Too bad some swimmers are careless and turn into dead bodies Dr. Ray A Date Expunged Test subject One pizza produced by SCP-458 Procedure One small sauce cup of SCP-447-2 is held in one hand by Agent Palinuck while the other holds SCP-458 Results No outward change in the composition of SCP-447-2 is evident SCP-458 produced a hamburger pizza on a cheese stuffed crust After dipping a slice in SCP-447-2 and ingesting, Agent Palinuck noted the taste of the substance was like a creamy Italian dressing. Following his consumption of the pizza, Agent Palinuck's breath was said to be minty fresh. He then proceeded to hoard the pizza box to himself for a few hours. Notes Though this brings up new indication into the nature of SCP-458, nothing remarkable has come to attention from this, other than pal's tendency to overeat Slight psychological therapy may be in order Dr. Del Marino I'd suggest remarking this stuff as a dressing, but people eating lots of pizza on a regular basis tend to become dead bodies, so... Agent Palinuck Date Expunged Test Subject One cellular phone Procedure Phone is placed in one small plastic container holding one liter of SCP-447-2 and left to sit for five minutes with power off and battery disconnected Results Phone is ruined and subsequently destroyed in a nearby furnace. The ashes and fumes from the burning phone were reported to be green and minty in scent. Notes Hey, has anyone seen my phone? Agent Palinuck Date Expunged Test Subject One trojan condom Procedure Dr. A placed the condom on his data expunged and applied SCP-447-2 onto it. He then tested the SCP-447-2 covered condom by data expunged Results Data Expunged Dr. A reports that the procedure quote went really well Notes I could market this as that kind of lubricant, but I don't think a warning label is enough to ensure that some necrophilia doesn't use it on a dead body. Dr. A Date Expunged Test Subject Three cars One 2006 Honda Civic 106 Dodge Stratus 106 Chevy Malibu Procedure SCP-447 was used as liquids in each vehicle mixed equally with oil used as window washer fluid and mixed into the radiator. Results Each car had each liquid added individually. The various components of each engine performed with superb results. The Honda's radiator did not overheat until temperatures reached in excess of 340 degrees Celsius, more than twice the average temperature of a vehicle. The water seemed to be tinted green even after being drained. The Stratus' windshield was cleaned of factory new perfection and resisted dirt and grime after use. Side effect described as green tinted glass. The Malibu's engine components were lubricated to perfection and lasted over 160,000 miles on a dynamometer. Exhaust was tinted green. Notes Impressive, but given the intelligence of some drivers, the chance of dead bodies contaminating the sample is too high. Dr. Axe Date Expunged Test Subject One roll of duct tape Procedure SCP-447 was applied to the adhesive side of a strip of duct tape, which was subsequently attached to a cement brick. Results Tape had bonded to the cement with twice the strength expected of a normal strip. Cement brick was left with a green stain in the shape of the strip of tape. Notes This could be marketable, but with all the possible uses for duct tape comes the even greater risk of coming into contact with dead bodies. Dr. Slav Date Expunged Test Subject Nuclear Reactor at Site Procedure During the regular maintenance, leaders of SCP-447-2 were added to the moderator material in the reactor. Results The moderation of neutrons was increased by leading to very high thermal output and temperature alarms being activated. The reactor's chamber gained a green tinge and faint mint smell. Notes Effective, but the chance of an explosion in radioactive slime reaching dead bodies over a large area is too high. Dr. Kotska Notes, too. Dr. Kotska has been incarcerated and sent to a corrective facility for unauthorized and extremely dangerous testing. 05 Date Expunged Test Subject One Colt Python Revolver with an 8-inch barrel Procedure Gun was taken apart for regular cleaning. The cleaning cloth was put in a small tub of SCP-447-2 and soaked for 5 minutes. Cleaned as normally would. Lubrication replaced with SCP-447-2 Results Gun fired with a 35% reduction in recoil. Testing found bullets fired had their maximum speed increased by nearly 210% and acceleration increased by 55%. Accuracy was increased by 3.7% at close range and by 486% at maximum range. Max range was also increased by 40%. Gun smoke was green in tint. Interestingly, unspent ammunition put into the gun were stated to smell minty and had a green tint. Despite this, when these bullets were removed and fired from another gun, said gun did not receive any benefits. Notes The more testing we do, the more I begin to wonder how more advanced technology would be. If only this damned dead body cursed didn't exist. This stuff would benefit us in so many ways. This test shows that guns would become extremely efficient. But then again, guns are used to kill people, so you will run into a dead guy at some point. Notes too. I suppose we could use this in a combat situation but only as a last resort and even then we'd have to be careful. Dr. Clinton. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One liter of candle wax. Procedure. Wax was added to SCP-447-2 in a 2-1 ratio of wax to SCP-447-2. A candle wick was dipped into the wax to create a candle. Results. The candle gave off 50% more light at a distance of 10 meters and also gave off a strong smell of mint as it burned. However, the candle burnt out in roughly half the time of a candle made solely out of wax and was far more difficult to extinguish, requiring a CO2 fire extinguisher to put out. Notes While it may seem like a good idea to market it, the mint smell was far too strong to the point of being nauseating. The candle also burns out too quickly to be used as a source of light as well. I suppose you could use it as an air freshener, but seeing how dangerous fire can be and how hard it is to put out, well, let's just say there's a good chance of it coming into contact with the dead body somewhere down the line. Date. Expunged. Test subject. SCP-586. Procedure. 10 ml of SCP-447-2 was directly applied to SCP-586. Results. No noticeable cha-chas to structure, composition, or effect of SCP-586 were noted. However, SCP-586 became more violently luminescent in its shade of gray and was reported afterwards to smell strongly of mint. Notes. I see no point in continuing this line of zesting, but it is safe. Very little chance of dank bodies here. Dr. Date. Expunged. Test subject. SCP-914. Procedure. One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the rough setting. Results. 10 cylindrical glass containers. All exactly one-tenth the mass of the original container, each holding 100 ml of SCP-447-2. Notes. Well, what did you expect? Dr. Date. Expunged. Test subject. SCP-914. Procedure. One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the coarse setting. Results. One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container. All SCP-447-2 recovered in this manner gradually degraded to an unknown fluid with similar composition to Terciops truncatus with a half-life of two hours. Notes. After most of it is sufficiently degraded, I suggest this new fluid be run through similar tests as were conducted before. Dr. Notes 2. Agent R, Headcook at Sight, reports that this new fluid has a simple and rustic, yet surprisingly compelling flavor and has requested five liters for culinary use. Request denied. Date. Expunged. Test subject. SCP-914. Procedure. One liter of SCP-447-2 in a cylindrical glass container was placed in SCP-914 and refined on the one-to-one setting. Results. A dead body. Notes. Further cross-testing of SCP-447-2 with SCP-914 has been enjoined by order of 05-1. Date. Expunged. Test subject. Two liters of brand paint primer. Procedure. Two hundred and fifty milliliters of SCP-447-2 was mixed thoroughly into the paint primer. Results. The primer took on a green hue and started to smell minty. The resulting paint was approximately two hundred percent more opaque when compared to a different can of primer. Notes. This would be marketed in home improvement stores, but the chances of a dead body coming into contact with painted surfaces is too high, plus the smell of mint is overpowering when a whole room is painted with the primer. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One pair of Adidas brand running shoes. Size twelve. Procedure. Ten liters of SCP-447-2 was poured into a standard hardware store bucket. The pair of Adidas shoes were submerged in SCP-447-2 for five minutes and removed. Shoes were then applied to researcher Ortiz's feet. Results. Rubber and sole increased by 37% in density, allowing subject to run slightly faster. Shoelaces became 13% more rigid, slightly decreasing the chance of the knot coming unraveled. Shoes emitted a minty scent. Notes. We could market this as some kind of shoe conditioner, but I seem to be aware of the fact that many dead bodies wear shoes. Researcher Ortiz. Date. Expunged. Test subject. A variety of clothing belonging to Dr. Levy. Procedure. 100 milliliters of SCP-447-2 was used as a substitute for fabric conditioner and a washing machine. Dr. Levy's clothes were washed for 30 minutes, after which the clothes were dried and worn by Dr. Levy. Results. The clothing seemed more resistant to rips and tears, as well as shrinking. Dr. Levy reported that the clothes felt more comfortable than before. Clothes took on a slight green tinge, as well possessing a slightly minty smell. Notes. We could market this as a fabric conditioner, though some people might not like the green tinge and the smell. Plus there's the problem that dead bodies are often clothed. Dr. Levy. Date. Expunged. Test subject. Dr. Haykilla's hand. Procedure. A drop of SCP-447-2 was placed on the back of the subject's hand via an eyedropper. Results. Dr. Haykilla proceeded to slap a nearby researcher across the face. The researcher said that they had a minty taste in their mouth after being slapped. Dr. Haykilla proceeded to do the same to someone else, but the effect had worn off. Notes. First of all, why? Second of all, why did we let him do it? Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. A ballpoint pen. Procedure. The ink cartridge was infused with 0.5 ml of SCP-447-2. Results. Anything written with the pen became approximately 27% clearer and gained a greenish tint. A slight minty smell also started emanating from the ink. Notes. This could be great to market to children. Scented pens. And I don't think there's much of a likelihood of it coming into contact with dead bodies, although you can never be too safe. Dr. Aherna. Date. Expunged. Test subject. 111045 T5 wire stripper. Procedure. Metal portion of subject was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 seconds and used to strip 12 AWG copper NMS cable. Results. Any insulation was easily peeled off regardless of improper use of the tool, but stuck to the T5s and had to be removed by hand. Notes. This would make the lives of new electricians so much easier. Unfortunately, they could be careless and get shocked to death while holding on to this. Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One standard-sized tub of Legos. Procedure. Tub was filled and submerged in SCP-447-2 for one minute and used to create a variety of items. Results. Builders state that the directions just kind of come to us. We don't even need to look at the manual. Bricks also turned lime green and have a faint mint smell. Notes. The only reason I say we shouldn't market this is the fact that a small child could choke on it. Then we have an entire new thing to deal with. Dr. Markman. Formerly requesting this tub for recreational use. They're really addicting. Dr. Sanders. Accepted. Have fun. Dr. Markman. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One of each foundation security keycard tier leading up to four. Procedure. Keycards were left to dip in SCP-447-2 for one hour then tested on pre-made keycard testing doors. Results. All keycards had their numbers erased and replaced with the level two tiers above their own. All cards performed with their respective new numbers. Notes. Requesting an extra level four keycard and one liter of SCP-447-2. Dr. Sanders. No. Dr. Markman. Date. Expunged. Test subject. Two double A batteries. Procedure. Batteries were submerged in SCP-447-2 for 30 minutes, then inserted into Dr. Clinton's flashlight, which was then shown until batteries were out of power. Results. Both batteries lasted roughly 28% longer than usual and were tinted a light green. The light from the flashlight was also a light green. Notes. Alright. This we can probably use. Pretty sure dead bodies can't use batteries, but uh, someone may want to make sure that the green light doesn't have the same properties as the normal slime. Dr. Clinton. Nope. Batteries have a tendency to cause dead bodies when around babies. Dr. Engelhardt. Date. Expunged. Test subject. 10M202A1 Flash Rockets. Procedure. Rockets were coded in SCP-447-2 for 50 minutes, loaded into an M202A1 flash to test explosion size, flame duration, and accuracy. Results. The explosion size remained the same. The flame's post detonation lasted 10% longer, along with having a greenish tint. No temperature difference noted. No difference in accuracy. Notes. Well, the accuracy of it isn't improved because it's not the rocket launcher itself. It's the rockets. Weapons researcher person. Weapons researcher person. It is requested that you not do this again. Weapons have a way of creating dead bodies. Actually, wait a moment. How did you even get in with a weapon? Senior researcher. I have my ways. Weapons researcher person. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One urn. Procedure. Urn was polished on the inside and outside with a mix of polish and SCP-447-2 at a 3 to 1 ratio. Results. Experiment was interrupted just as ashes from a dead body were about to be put in. Notes. Ashes from dead bodies are dead bodies too. I don't care how curious you are, but no ashes from dead bodies. Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. SCP-999. Procedure. SCP-999 was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 2 minutes. Results. SCP-999 exhibited a green tint for 5 hours and, in addition to curing depression, gave the subject green eyes. Notes. SCP-999 looked pretty cool and we may be able to do this again. We could even reconsider marketing it as an antidepressant. Dr. Fall. No. Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One katana. Procedure. The katana was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. Results. The katana emerged with a distinct green tinge to the blade. Dr. Clef confiscated the katana before any tests could be conducted on its performance. Notes. Are you maniacs trying to give me a nervous breakdown? The whole point of a sword is to kill people. Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. One vial of SCP-447-2 aged 30 days. Procedure. The vial was submerged in SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. After that period of time, the vial was removed. The contents poured onto the top of the SCP-447-2 solution for 5 minutes. Results. Vial was tightly sealed. It's simultaneously easy to remove. The solution within the vial turned a bright green and gave off an extremely minty odor. Now designated as SCP-447-3. Notes. I really thought this was going to go nowhere.  Have the solution of 447-3 sent to my office. I would like to personally conduct an experiment with it. Dr. A. Clef. Date. Expunged. Test subject. Two $1 bills. USD. Procedure. One bill was submerged in a cup of SCP-447-2 for 5 minutes. The other submerged for the same amount of time within a cup of SCP-447-3, referenced above. Results. The bill submerged in SCP-447-2 became a US $100 bill. The bills submerged within SCP-447-3 became a US $2,500 bill, which, according to the US Hall of Records, never existed, yet is completely usable in a marketplace environment. The bill was removed from circulation shortly after by an MTF team by command of Dr. A. Clef. Notes. Why would you send that into circulation? Who knows what could happen to that bill out there? Dr. A. Clef. I wonder what we can do with this 447-3 stuff. Maybe we could make better and better liquid, like inception. Dr. Bright. Request denied. We're playing with forces we don't understand here, Jack. Dr. A. Clef. Dr. Bright. Date. Expunged. Test subject. A copy of the Phantom Toll Booth. Procedure. Book was immersed in SCP-447-2 for 20 seconds. Results. Book became green and gained a minty smell. Notes. I realized a bit too late that paper might constitute as the dead body of a tree. We really dodged a bullet on that one. Still, let's not try to push the envelope any further. Dr. Norms. Item Number. SCP-475. Object Class. Safe. Special Containment Procedures. SCP-475 is to be kept in a watertight containment locker in storage unit 45C of Site 36. All testing with para-religions requires permission from the Site Director. To prevent religious groups of interest from learning of the object's existence, knowledge of SCP-475 is to follow Level 3 Info Security Protocol. Description. SCP-475 is an ornate sculpture of soap, depicting an unidentified pope. Inscribed at the base of the statue is the phrase, cleanliness is next to godliness. Analysis reveals the object to be composed of long-chain saturated fatty acids, CH3 minus CH2N, totaling 89.7% of its mass, with the remaining 10.3% corresponding to attached as the hydrophilic head. It is believed that the gives SCP-475 its unique properties, but all attempts to recreate this compound have failed. When SCP-475 comes into contact with water and is applied to the skin, all accumulated foreign contaminants are removed. Tested materials include dead skin cells, perspiration, bodily parasites, mold, dirt, and detergents. Post-test examinations have shown that 100% of foreign contaminants are removed, a statistical anomaly. This process only occurs when used on human skin. All attempts so far to use SCP-475 on non-humans have failed to produce its anomalous effects. Testing on anomalous animals, such as SCP-1845 or SCP-2050, is pending approval. Unlike typical soaps, the usage of SCP-475 does not damage it. SCP-475's secondary anomalous effects manifest when it is used on a professing member of an organized religion. Subjects universally report greater mental clarity, showing greater adherence to church doctrine, and rate at least 15 centiaciva more on the Brandon Spencer Piety Scale. These effects increase in intensity the longer the subject uses the object, culminating in local reality changes, signified by all bodies of water within a 5-meter radius, turning into an equivalent liquid that is considered wholly in the subject's religion. Examples of these changes can be found in Test Log 475. Addendum SCP-475 came under foundation containment when insubordinate elements of the Horizon Initiative relinquished control of it. These elements cited a desire to maintain unity and prevent infighting as to why the object could not be kept. SCP-475 was allegedly recovered from the residence of the Catholic Cardinal, who was found deceased from injuries consistent with upside-down crucifixion. The following materials were also provided. Access Memoirs of Access Granted I write this document to preserve the personal revelation invested in me. Over these past years, I have grappled with my faith. Having committed it to paper, the idea seems absurd. I, a leader of the faith. I, whose vote has determined the successor of Peter. I, who has undeniable proof of God's glory. The initiative, for all of its missteps and blasphemy, has provided undeniable proof of God's glory. Proof that has to be withheld from the world due to inscrutable agreements with occult forces, who do not have salvation in mind. Despite this undeniable proof, I wrestled with fears that God is not almighty. How can a God so glorious and almighty stand by as false idols exert their forces over man? By the grace of God, my fears have been quelled. The night before, I beheld an apparition of Mary. To try to capture the glory of it would be futile, but it is an experience too magnificent to withhold. We were out at sea. Below the waves, I could see the church penitent, awaiting purification. Further below that, deep beneath, there was creation. All around us were the gilded statues of saints, each linked to a church, far below us. The virgin mother herself was resplendent, situated atop a pedestal. The pedestal carried by a many-winged creature of fire. In her right arm, she held the savior. In her left, a block of marble. She confided in me, told me of my purpose. Encased in the marble were the keys of heaven, the church's magisterium itself, the authority to commune with saints. I was to take it, free the keys, and cleanse the church militant. Then, all will be made clear. When I woke up, there was a block of soap on my nightstand. Queer, but I do not question the machinations of God. Every day since that night has been hazy. I have worked with a fervor to accomplish this mission. Even to this moment, I have my doubts. But I am human. It is in my nature to doubt. If there is one thing I can be certain of, it is that I am a cog in God's plan. 1. Addendum SCP-475 approved for extensive testing with para-religions Test log, 475 Note, due to the scarcity of para-religion adherence under Foundation control, SCP-475 has been approved to create suitable test subjects. Test subjects' religion, Roman Catholicism, duration, 3 minutes, results. Water transmuted into a mixture of olive oil and balsam, consistent with the chrysalm oil employed in various Catholic rituals. Stigmata manifested in subjects' hands. Notes, subject was heard reciting Confiteor as anomalous effects to place. The stigmata healed over the course of the next three days. Test subjects' religion, Roman Catholicism, set a vacant list, duration, 5 minutes, results. Water transmuted into a mixture of olive oil and balsam, consistent with the chrysalm oil employed in various Catholic rituals. No overt anomalous effects observed. Notes, post-test interview indicated that the subject accepted the current pope as rightful pontifex maximus. Test subjects' religion, Pentecostal, duration, 11 minutes, result. Water transmuted into pasteurized grape juice. Subject began exhibiting glossolalia. Subject displayed xenoglossy in the post-test interview. Notes, subject made the following requests. Access to Site 36's sickbay. Access to any demonic entities housed on site. A pet snake. Requests denied. Test subjects' religion, Hasidic Judaism, duration, 60 minutes, results. Testing was aborted after failure to produce anomalous results. Subject vehemently denied any change in behavior or mindset. Notes, cant counters measured a 100% increase in ambient hume levels. Further testing warranted. Test subjects' religion, broken church, duration, 13 minutes, results. Water transmuted into machine oil. Subject began manifesting symptoms of SCP-217 infection. Notes, subject was placed under quarantine. Within 48 hours, the SCP-217 infection present in its system had been rendered inert. Subject transferred to Site 234 for further study. Test subjects' religion, cogwork orthodox, duration, 14 minutes, results. Water transmuted into machine oil. Subject proceeded to transform into metallic ovoid object, bearing numerous markings on the surface. Notes, resultant object pending classification as an instance of SCP-1564. Test subjects' religion, Maxwellism, duration, 15 minutes, results. Water transmuted into thermal adhesive. Testing terminated as subject began complaining about a splitting headache. Analysis indicates that part of subjects' brain had been replaced with cybernetics, inconsistent with standard Maxwellist augments. Notes, subject claims to have experienced a continuation of the signal, a hallucinatory vision all Maxwellists experience after undergoing implantation of their first augments. In this vision, data expunged. Test subjects' religion, neosarcosism, duration, 30 minutes, results. Water transmuted into blood. Subject began morphing into an instance of SK Biotype- Testing suspended and subjects sedated. Upon resumption, subject calcified into a roughly ellipsoidal object and began emitting thermal radiation in the microwave range. Notes, further testing with neosarctic cults suspended in order to prevent apotheosis events. Subject currently in secondary storage at site 10. Test subjects' religion, children of the Scarlet King. Duration, 45 minutes, results. Water transmuted into blood. Subject underwent a series of transformations, turning into progressively more advanced. In the divide-cast system, variants of the DV Biotype, transformations culminated with the subject becoming a colossal squid, Masani Chotuthis, Hamiltoni, and expiring. Notes, genetic testing indicates that the blood is from the common sperm whale, Phicitor macrosophallus. Test subjects' religion, 5thism, duration, 25 minutes, results. Water transmuted into 100 specimens of the subphylum Asterozoa. Subject melted into candle wax. Notes, suspected connections to SCP-1523. Test subjects' religion, church of the Second Hytoth. Duration, 30 minutes, results. Water transmuted into blood. Subject's forehead developed pigmentation in the shape of a seven-pointed star. Subject displays previously unknown knowledge of Hytothin rituals and the language of Hortothin. Notes, analysis indicates that the blood is from the common seven-arm octopus, Alephron Atlanticus. Test subjects' religion, children of the torch. Duration, 17 minutes, results. Water transmuted into an aqueous flame, similar to those created by SCP-2814. Subject then melted into a waxy substance, yet remained modal and cognizant. Notes, subject expired after 24 hours. Remains stored on Site-23. Test subjects' religion, Australian Church of Australia. Duration, 1 minute, results. Data expunged. Note, further testing with the Australian Church of Australia requires unanimous approval from the O5 Council. Research into preventing AU Class End of the World scenarios deemed a Class 11 priority. Item number, SCP-505. Object Class, Keter. Special Containment Procedures. SCP-505 is contained in a 50 meter by 40 meter by 10 meter room at Site- SCP-505's containment area is to be sealed, other than one secure airlock, and a series of pipes allowing transport of SCP-505-1 to storage tanks in the event of SCP-505-1 reaching levels in which it poses a danger to containment. Sprayers for 4M-NAOH are to be available throughout SCP-505's containment area and the rest of Site- to combat a containment breach. In the event of a spill of SCP-505-1, the affected area should immediately be covered with an absorbent material. Commercial blotting paper is currently standard for this purpose and doused with alcohol or acetone if NAOH is not immediately available. NAOH immersion is the method of choice for SCP-505-1 containment, followed by incineration of affected material, if practicable. There are currently instances of SCP-505-1 points of secondary contamination outside SCP-505's primary containment area. Containment in these areas is variable, but efforts have been made to make procedures as similar to those of the primary site, if possible. Of these secondary contamination zones, they are unable to be fully contained at this time, resulting in the spread of SCP-505-1 throughout the environment. These sites are to be monitored at all times, and countermeasure development is of the highest priority. Description SCP-505 is a model of Faber-Castell fountain pen, produced in 2001. For documentation of its acquisition by the Foundation, see Addendum 505-2. It is identical in all respects to a standard fountain pen, apart from its association with SCP-505-1. SCP-505-1 is the black ink produced by SCP-505, which exhibits the property of self-replication. SCP-505-1 spreads at a variable rate, affected by the substance it comes into contact with, and the amount of SCP-505-1 present. Quantities of SCP-505-1 have been shown to increase at rates between 0.5 and 540 mL per second. Standard ink removing chemicals are able to partially remove SCP-505-1, and inhibit its spread. However, sodium hydroxide is necessary to remove SCP-505-1 contamination completely, and has shown to be ineffective in environments with particularly high SCP-505-1 concentrations. Fortunately, the growth rate of SCP-505-1 appears to be inversely proportional to its quantity at high concentrations. Whilst the observed effects of this are negligible in most cases, this inverse growth phenomenon provides the only explanation for the partial containment of SCP-505-1, despite a number of cases of large-scale environmental contamination, which were projected to otherwise lead to an NK-class end-of-the-world scenario. Whilst SCP-505-1 exhibits no unusual properties other than its constant spread and partial resistance to removal, it nonetheless poses serious difficulties for control. SCP-505-1 will flow across non-absorbent surfaces, and pass through porous surfaces in an identical fashion to normal ink. All liquid or solid objects or beings in contact with SCP-505-1 will be contaminated. SCP-505-1 will still adhere to non-porous surfaces such as metals, but newly produced SCP-505-1 will constantly flow off. Non-porous metals are thus catalysts for SCP-505-1 spread, and all SCP-505-1 contamination should be covered in porous materials, such as blotting paper, for this reason. It is not possible to permanently contain SCP-505-1 in a non-porous container, as said container's contents will gradually increase in quantity, leading to increased pressure and subsequent rupture. All containers being used to contain SCP-505-1 must, therefore, be drained periodically to prevent a containment breach. SCP-505-1's effects on its environment are identical to those of an equivalent quantity of standard fountain pen ink. SCP-505-1 exposure will inevitably lead to the death of living organisms. Plant matter will be killed due to inhibition of photosynthesis, whereas animals will be killed due to chemical poisoning. In humans and other mammals, SCP-505-1 contact will most likely be via the skin, where it will spread until it reaches an orifice or a break in the skin, and subsequently enter the vascular system through mucus membranes. SCP-505-1 will spread through the vasculature and have catastrophic effects on all organ systems it reaches, as it continuously replicates, and is unable to be excreted by the urinary system. Cause of death is generally multiple organ failure, although in most cases, affected individuals will be terminated and decontaminated prior to this. For containment procedures in these instances, see Addendum 5051. SCP-505-1 also has an increased rate of spread through non-viscous fluids, such as water, as would be expected of normal ink. Any contamination of the water table with SCP-505-1 must be prevented at all costs, due to the potential for an NK class end of the world scenario. It is unknown whether SCP-505-1's aforementioned property of an inversely proportional rate of spread will manifest in fluids, as experimentation with such high quantities of SCP-505-1 is strictly forbidden. Thus, any environmental SCP-505-1 contamination in water sources must be met with immediate damning and drainage into storage tanks of all affected areas. Addendum 5051. Procedures for dealing with SCP-505-1 contamination in humans. Administration of multiple-dose activated charcoal has been shown to slow the progress of SCP-505-1 contamination in humans, but is unable to halt the process. The only known methods of treatment for SCP-505-1 contamination in humans are by immediate excision of the affected area, or continuous application of ethanol to an affected skin region. Topical ethanol treatment will not prevent the affected individual from transmitting SCP-505-1 to other surfaces, and is thus highly discouraged, except in the cases of essential personnel. In which case, containment procedures must be observed, as in all other sites of secondary SCP-505-1 contamination. In theory, excision or amputation of affected areas would be the gold standard for treatment, but contamination of surgical instruments and personnel remains a problem. Therefore, all cases of SCP-505-1 contamination in humans, other than essential personnel, should be dealt with by termination, followed by standard procedure of 4MNAOH immersion and incineration of the remains. Addendum 5052. SCP-505 Retrieval History SCP-505 was acquired by the foundation from the town of Red in Oman, when the town in question was quarantined by the Omani government, due to reports of a black fluid beginning to seep out from the town's post office and causing the deaths of a number of its inhabitants. Fortuitously, the arid and remote location of the incident prevented wide-scale environmental contamination of SCP-505-1. The foundation retrieved SCP-505-1 with red casualties. No other anomalous properties of the town's post office or the town itself were detected. It was deemed necessary to terminate civilians who were deemed likely to be contaminated. The incident was reported as a non-extranormal chemical spill. Item number SCP-535 Object Class Euclid Special Containment Procedures SCP-535 is to be kept in a secure storage room at site Standard positive action defenses, explosive, chemical, biological, and memetic are to be in place at all times, according to standard operating procedure. SCP-535 itself is to be placed in its own containment unit, a soundproofed lead lined steel box, of dimensions 4 meters by 4 meters by 4 meters, and of thickness no less than 5 centimeters at all points. SCP-535 is secured to a pedestal in its containment unit, such that it is positioned in the center of the box. No memetic-based SCPs are to come into contact with SCP-535. No liquid is to come into contact with SCP-535, except under controlled testing circumstances. To facilitate this, the containment unit should be sealed and contain backup dehumidification apparatus. SCP-535 should not be handled directly, except under controlled testing circumstances. If the need to handle SCP-535 arises, it should only be performed by one personnel of level 3 clearance or higher, with no other individuals present in the immediate area, and with mechanical apparatus to prevent being within 1 meter of SCP-535. SCP-535 is not to come in contact with other anomalies associated with information transfer, such as SCP-606. Description SCP-535 appears to be an ordinary 250 milliliter borosilicate glass laboratory beaker. It was recovered from an abandoned storage facility in U.S.A. SCP-535's origin has been traced to a glassware factory owned by the F***ing Corporation. Save its manufacture of SCP-535. No evidence of any extra normal activity has been found in relation to said factory or corporation. All liquid touching the inner surface of SCP-535 will immediately transform into a pale translucent liquid of viscosity 1.511Cp, approximately the viscosity of Mercury, from here on designated as SCP-535-1. Other forms of matter are not affected. Analysis of SCP-535-1 has revealed that it is composed of approximately 36% water. However, the remaining 46% encompasses 14 previously unknown substances. It is fit for human consumption, disregarding the nonchemical effects of SCP-535, and produces no visible reactions. When SCP-535-1 is poured out of SCP-535, and comes into contact with a solid or liquid surface, it instantaneously evaporates, leaving no discernible trace. One various forms of information storage or transmission comes within 1 meter of SCP-535-1. SCP-535-1 will activate and change color depending on the nature of the source. The following colors have been observed. Red, all digital media, computers, compact disks, etc. Orange, radio waves, yellow, sound waves, lime green, photographic film, blue, text and physical visual imagery. The precise hue of blue has been observed to change depending on the medium the texture images are transcribed on. Purple, magnetic tape, white, the human brain, black, data expunged. Analysis of activated SCP-535-1 shows it to be chemically identical to inactivated SCP-535-1. SCP-535-1 appears to absorb information from its surroundings. If activated SCP-535-1 is poured out of SCP-535, it will subsequently transmit the data it has contained to whatever it lands on. If it is compatible in some way. For example, if activated SCP-535-1 comes into contact with a computer and is then poured onto a different computer, the information from the first computer will be copied to the second. If activated SCP-535-1 was poured onto any non-digital device in this case, there would be no effect. In both situations, SCP-535-1 would evaporate and disappear. The amount of SCP-535-1 utilized appears to have no effect, and multiple transmissions of data can be made by conserving the contents of SCP-535. Pouring activated SCP-535-1 on the device which initially activated it has no effect. The various forms of electromagnetic waves able to activate SCP-535-1 will be retransmitted to the surroundings, regardless of the object SCP-535-1 is poured on. Physical text and images will be transcribed onto any solid surface in the areas where SCP-535-1 is poured onto. Note that text displayed on a digital screen is considered digital media, rather than print. This is invariably in the same medium the text was originally written in. Any large collection of text is usually unreadable, as it is resized to fit inside the area in contact with SCP-535-1, and only a relatively small amount of SCP-535-1 is available at any one time, due to SCP-535's small size. When a living human comes within range of SCP-535-1, SCP-535-1 turns white. However, human memories and thoughts are not retransmitted with the same efficiency as other information. The effects of pouring active white SCP-535-1 onto another person are highly unpredictable. In benign situations, the subject may acquire a minor fact or memory. Far more common, however, is mental illness, including but not limited to schizophrenia, disassociative identity disorder, severe anxiety, or generalized hallucinations. Schizophrenia is also a common effect. In the most extreme cases, coma, followed by death, may occur. So far, no pattern has been discerned as to the potential effects of active white SCP-535-1. Further testing with caution is warranted. The mental contents of other beings do not affect SCP-535-1, with the exception of data expunged, resulting in data expunged. Addendum. Dr. Ward has suggested using the replicative properties of SCP-535 with regards to physical media to reproduce substances of value to the Foundation. This proposal has been approved by O5-2, and preliminary experimentation has been scheduled. Item Number. SCP-545. Object Class. Euclid. Special Containment Procedures. SCP-545 is considered to be three individual parts, and thus, each part may be stored differently. SCP-545-A is to be kept in a two-room residential containment unit at Site-17, furnished to her liking. To date, she is not requested a TV, radio, nor any contact with the outside world beyond a walk through a park or woods at least once per week, available to her upon request. During said excursions, she is to be accompanied by a team of four armed security personnel, and at least one researcher familiar to her. SCP-545-A is allowed to leave her containment and spend time in level zero and common areas, provided that she notify two level two security personnel ahead of time, and is supervised during the duration of her leaving her room. SCP-545-A poses no immediate threat to any personnel, provided that they are reminded not to make assumptions about her strength, speed, or intelligence based upon her appearance. All samples and bottles of SCP-545-B are to be packaged and placed in the appropriate storage unit under lock. Only authorized level four security personnel or hire may be allowed to handle, transport, or study SCP-545-B. Drinking SCP-545-B is strictly forbidden and punishable by immediate termination, unless under testing protocol. All requests to study and test SCP-545-B must be submitted at least a week in advance and approved by a head of site research, if not a no five level operative. SCP-545-A's unit is also able to contain a small garden under sun lamps, available for her to work in. No poisonous plants are allowed after incident 545-6-B. SCP-545-C is to be locked in a quad locked secure storage vault in site 17's precious items wing. Description SCP-545 may be determined as three separate parts. SCP-545-A appears to be an elderly woman, presumably of Eastern European descent. 1.5 meters or 5 feet in height and 73.9 kilograms or 163 pounds in weight, giving her a short plump build. Her skin, although deeply tanned and heavily lined, is devoid of blemishes or liver spots otherwise common with age. Her hair is thick, completely white, and past her waist when let down. Although 545-A prefers to keep it up in a tight bun, her eyes, despite her age, are a bright clear blue and devoid of cataracts or fogginess. As a reward for good behavior and cooperation, she has been allowed to choose a wardrobe of simple and traditional dresses and eyeglasses. Despite appearing to be 80 plus years old, 545-A is an exceptional health with no weakening of the heart, bones, or respiratory system. And although of average human strength, her senses are noted to be above average, and she scores a general 115 on a standard IQ test. SCP-545-A claims to be over 800 years old. This claim has yet to be disproved. SCP-545-A prefers to be called a number of names, and dislikes the SCP designation number. She will respond to Granny, Beatrice, Ms. Widow, and has taken a liking to Dr. Watt's nickname for her, Tochenkinder. She displays a generally pleasant personality and enjoys activities such as sewing, cooking, and gardening. SCP-545-A often requests conversations and walks outside as well. Despite SCP-545-A's penchant for acting like a kindly older woman, she displays no remorse for her use of SCP-545-B and C. SCP-545-A also displays a pathological fear of death and an addiction to SCP-545-B, and she complies with Foundation personnel under threat of being deprived of her supply of SCP-545-B. As the only known long-term user of SCP-545-B, 545-A's information is considered invaluable. SCP-545-B is a colorless, odorless, liquid extracted from the body via 545-C and bottled. It is often dubbed liquid life due to its properties. Under examination, 545-B appears to be slightly more viscous than water, but varies in direct texture and taste. 545-B has no unique properties, until ingested. Drinking SCP-545-B extends the life of the user, slowing the process of aging, and often either slowing or completely ridding the body of disease. It may even be used to heal major wounds if drunk quickly enough. Repeated use of SCP-545-B may prolong life indefinitely, but results in a strong dependency upon its properties, and many frequent users show borderline sociopathic tendencies in regards to the creation of SCP-545-B. To date, the SCP Foundation keeps a limited supply of SCP-545-B and allows for production only for study of SCP-545-C. SCP-545-C is a thin, weathered sheet of yellow parchment in surprisingly good condition. Carbon dating places it to be at least 600 years old. SCP-545-A claims to have copied SCP-545-C from the original document, containing SCP-545-C's instructions. For lack of a better term, SCP-545-C contains a recipe in Middle English for extracting and distilling SCP-545-B from the human body. Full contents of SCP-545-C are undisclosed in order to prevent unauthorized personnel from creating SCP-545-B. Key portions include ingredients list, including such materials as live leeches, skullcap seeds, chicken fetuses, snakeskin, ginger root, mandrake root, lily of the valley water, spider eggs, and nearly two dozen more items in varying amounts. The most prominent ingredient appears to be a living human being, preferably a child. Multiple ingredients on this list have been noted to match the ingredients used in instances of SCP-2077. Supplies list, including a boiling pot large enough for a child or other human, along with water and many ingredients, and a strainer made from fresh spider webs, among other things. Instructions list, detailing rather elaborately the exact amount of materials and timing needed to successfully create, distill, and bottle SCP-545-B. SCP-545-A is able to recite and act upon SCP-545-C by heart. The exact mechanisms of the process that creates SCP-545-B are still unidentified. Magic is not an acceptable answer. There has to be some sort of process here that allows for this to happen. It can't just happen because it works. Dr. W... Addendum. SCP-545 was located in a small Midwestern town, under the guise of an elderly woman with mild dementia. The woods her residential neighborhood were located in led to an area near a river that was prone to sinkholes, and had a small history of children becoming lost or dying in the woods before. Her neighbors described her as kind and caring, and had no suspicions that she may be anything more than a lonely elderly widow, with a penchant for giving neighborhood kids small treats in return for collecting their used glass bottles. She was located and captured by data expunged. From SCP-545-A's own memory, she has been repeating the same process for quite a while. She buys a small house in a relatively dangerous area, and keeps the supplies for SCP-545-C with her, or manages to find and produce them. She collects glass bottles via the neighborhood, and over time gains their trust. She describes the process of capturing children for SCP-545-C as being relatively easy. She simply goes for a walk and pretends to be lost, or talks kids into accompanying her home, under the promise of food and candy. She admits to doing this at least once every five years or more. She claims to have been using this process for at least 800 years, but has admitted that even though her aging has slowed to a crawl, it hasn't stopped completely. No matter how much SCP-545-B she produces and ingests, SCP-545-B is not to be used or distributed, even in cases of emergency. Failure to comply will result in termination. Lesson complete. 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Hey coach, what's up? Welcome back to our channel. In today's video, I'm going to be answering the question of should I charge for an evaluation session for my business? And this is a question I've got over and over again and today I wanted to go in detail about why you should have this set up. Now, I'm going to give you a great example. So personally for me, back in the day, what I used to do was I would talk to parents over the phone and when we get to the end of the conversation, I would invite them to a free trial session. And here's what ended up happening. At the beginning, parents would bring their kid. They'd show up to the session and then at the end of the session, I would have to sell them my program, which is very uncomfortable doing at the field, especially if their kid is there. It's just not a comfortable conversation to have with parents like outside, like that. All that stuff should be happening over the phone. But I also realized something else. A lot of the times parents would not be committed to that session. They said they would come Tuesday at four o'clock and then at Tuesday at three fifty nine, they would text me and say, Hey, Ben, we can't make it to the session. Or, Ben, can we come tomorrow at this time? Or, Ben, can we come next week? Something came up. And what happened was I was attracting uncommitted parents and uncommitted clients. And that was happening because I was giving something away for free. And I'm a big believer in having parents just be super committed before you ever see them. And the way that happens is you get them to register online and invest into your evaluation session before they ever see you. And this way, you're not doing what I used to do, where I would head out to the field and anxiously be looking at my phone. Like, are they going to text me today? Are they going to cancel? Like, now I have it set up to where I have one phone call. That phone call is very simple. I have a script that I follow where I ask parents questions. I qualify them into my program and then I have them invest into the evaluation session. That's step one. And then from there, I know they're committed. I know, all right, they're going to be coming to this session. There's nothing I have to do. I don't have to chase them down. There's a no refund policy. So if they can't make it to that session, well, guess what? They already invested. So I don't have to worry about it. If they cancel last second, well, they already invested. But what this does is it makes your clients committed before they ever see you. And I'm telling you, you have way more peace of mind waking up in the morning, going to that session, when you know they've already registered like two or three days before that online. This is not going to work if you're still accepting cash or checks at the fuel or at the park or at the gym, wherever you train. That is not going to work because it still puts the clients in full, they're really in charge of paying you or not because they could show up and not have the money or they could just say they're going to be there and then not show up. But when you have it set up where they pay, they invest for the evaluation session, that solves all of your problems. And what you have to do, it's very simple, is you have to put a price tag behind that. My evaluation session, it's a hundred bucks. I can command that fee based off of the results we have in our program with the clients who worked with over the last 10 years. But what you have to do is think about, well, how can you set this up to where you have a confident price, a confident investment that you're asking from parents. So when they sign up, you know they're committed before they ever see you. And if you want my help with that, all right, very simple. All you have to do is you're going to see this phone number right here. You just need to text that number. I'd love to get on a call with you this week and walk you through how that's set up. Walk you through how to get clients who are committed to your program for six to 12 months to where they're investing between $400 and $800 per month. That is what I do. That's why I created this channel. I want to help you out. So again, text me at that phone number and I look forward to hearing from you.


I think doubles is definitely the biggest area of focus for us and we've spent a ton of time in practice and in some sense just getting back to the basics, really serving, returning, making our volleys, putting easy balls away, sort of trying to take it piece by piece. We're not installing totally different technique or totally different philosophies. We're sort of going step by step and wherever we're at this weekend when we're playing Salisbury, we know that that's not where we're going to be two months from now. We can take a little, improve on the little things that we're focusing on for this weekend and then get those squared away and then move on to the next thing and by April, conference play, we should be set. Just our potential, really, I mean again, us being so young and a lot of, even with our freshman, a lot of them went through high school tennis being some of the best players on their team, but because of the way high school tennis works sometimes in their state or in their county where they don't get the chance to really play doubles and singles. So a lot of them, doubles, really the whole college doubles game for them is new. So again, it's sort of like we were saying earlier, as good as we are this weekend in doubles, we're going to be way better, come match nine, ten, when we're in August or sorry, when we're in April. So I'm really looking forward to seeing how much we can grow, how quickly we can absorb and pick up the doubles philosophies that we teach and preach here. Hopefully they're coming over to watch history. We want to win the conference for the first time, you know, both teams. The girls haven't, you know, we haven't been as competitive of the top teams of conference in a number of years. We're looking to make the conference playoffs for the first time in a number of years this year.