Good afternoon Fairfield parents and welcome to today's webinar We're all very excited to have you joining us today, and we're even more excited to have Harlan Cohen here with us He is a college life expert advice columnist New York Times bestseller, and he's here to give you some tips when it comes to navigating the college scene so without further ado, I will turn it over to Harlan and Take it away. Thank you so much. Hello parents Fairfield parents. It's great to be here with you I'm so excited to share at the next hour and Tonight depending when you're watching it. It might not be tonight, but tonight when we are presenting this I am going to be visiting with students so I'm going to have the chance to interact with many of your children and I'm gonna help them because right they've been telling you they need some help right some of them need no help They're gonna need help in the future, but I'm gonna help them now so that when the future comes They're gonna be prepared and you as parents are gonna be totally prepared So you can ask questions, and I'm gonna address these questions at the end of the hour So if there's something I share that you want me to explore a little deeper, you know make a note Send that in and Elizabeth is moderating and she's gonna help me to answer or address these questions All right. I have so much for you. This is five simple rules for college parents I am Harlan Cohen. Some of you are familiar with me. Some of you have no idea who I am So I'm an author. I'm a speaker, and I'm an advice columnist The book that most of you will know me by is the naked roommate and a hundred and seven other issues You might run into in college. It's in its sixth edition. It's On the New York Times bestseller list every summer Hit number five in the education list, which is pretty cool I'm also author of a book the naked roommate for parents only this digs a little deeper because I know as parents You're so involved and that's why I'm presenting this today And I wanted to give you even more information that I have a workbook as well I also travel across the country like I said, I'm gonna be talking to students tonight at Fairfield I was here in the spring and it went over really well So I was invited back again and now I'm here with you So one of the things I mentioned before is I love questions I love interacting this platform is always a little tough for me because I want to see you and I want to be with You and be present. So as much as we can do this, please feel free to share now The reason that I do this is because high school It doesn't prepare students and parents for what happens once students are on campus and once your kids are in college Now high school does a great job getting students into school, but when it comes to actually navigating the transition They don't do a great job. This is a video that I found that I want to share with you that I think really Is a great starting point for this conversation today And So maybe some of your kids know how to sew a button and they're great at boiling eggs And they can do a lot of these things but when it comes to life outside the classroom when it comes to the big issues I find that so many students have a really tough time navigating all these changes and The reality is for you as parents You are a partner in this experience and you have very few resources That's one of the reasons I'm so grateful to be here and one of the reasons that I love working with Fairfield University Is because they really recognize that you are The most important person in your child's life as important as the people here are you really are a first responder And I'm gonna get into just how important you are But the thing is you need to be supported and you need to be Individual who can support your friends as well I should also mention I have three kids. I have a Ten-year-old I have to remember it's been a really it's been a crazy week like how many kids do I have? What are their ages?    It's like they'll have many other names for you And the thing is I don't use any of those names What I do is I call you the most loving caring and supportive parents who are facing new and unprecedented Challenges and that's who you are the motivation comes from a place of wanting to take care of your kids It's just how can you be the best partner to support them and help them? So I want to help you that's why I'm here with you So I'm gonna move quickly because I have so much to share with you I Want to let you know before I get to the five things the five simple rules I have to set this up because the five simple rules are a product of where we are in terms of being parents and How college life has changed over the years? So what's changed? Okay? Communicating then okay, you'd have a phone connected to a wall, right? If you wanted to cry you had to like really strategize. Where am I gonna cry? Okay now? You could go anywhere not only do you get to hear it you get to see it You get to see that roommate doing whatever they're doing across the bed from your child You get to see it all so you are there in real time, which is crazy I was I have so many stories for you, but I was talking to a student who was saying that that she was crying and she was crying in public and Another student walked up to her and said why are you crying? And she said I'm feeling really lonely and homesick and the girl said I am too and she started crying and then they became friends because they were both crying and that's one of the the beauties of You know being able to communicate in a place where you're tethered and this happened to be one where people weren't tethered but this idea of Being able to share constantly you are in your child's hand You are literally holding hands and because of this instant communication. You need to be awesome at knowing how to respond Social networks then people would sit around and talk. That's how they socialize now It's out of control. You have Facebook. You have Twitter you have snapchat. I'm on snapchat. I don't think you're on snapchat But I probably well, you know your kid might add me on snapchat, which I actually like snapchat And then there's tumblr and there's Pinterest and there's LinkedIn There are so many ways for students to stay in touch Which is good and also not so good because they're getting a lot of feedback that isn't always representative of the true Experience people are having their friends are having so they may think that their experience isn't as good as everyone else is and Also, it's harder to make mistakes when you make mistakes online Everybody sees it. So that's another big issue. It's harder to make those mistakes a bit of advice And I'm a little congested. So if I clear my my you know self, please forgive me It's really great for you to be in touch with your kids via social networks Observing and it's better to observe from afar because if you're interacting too much They're gonna remember you're there But it's really great because you kind of keep your finger on the pulse of what's happening in your child's life You're not spying. You're just kind of a fly on the wall. Okay next News news used to come in paper form now It is everywhere and it is in your face when something bad happens You see it 24-7 boom boom boom boom boom boom boom Most of your kids the vast majority of your kids are gonna be incredibly safe Everything's gonna be wonderful in their life But news can be overwhelming and it can also change how we look at life The reality is most students are safe students are better behaved now than they were When you sorry about that when you were kids, okay, you guys were in college So here's the here's the bottom line here. You see more you hear more and that means you need to know more Parents are first responders, which means you need to know how to respond That's what I want to help you to do So these five rules that I'm going to present these are going to help you to know how to respond And I'm going to get deeper into each rule as we continue in this event Rule number one is get comfortable with the uncomfortable rule number two is don't panic think people places and patients Three their struggles belong to them, but their victories belong to you. Congratulations four apply the 24 hour rule And five ask them. What do you think you should do now? I'm going to give you a ton of information You're going to have access to the replay and I can also share some handouts that you guys can have access to Through email or through a newsletter as well So the five simple rules They're going to help you alleviate stress allow your child to struggle in college Struggling is a necessary important part of this experience Become a better listener and communicator empower your child to find answers and know how to respond when the unexpected pops up because I promise you it will pop up So let's get into these rules rule number one and get comfortable with the uncomfortable We stink and uncomfortable high school is awful and uncomfortable We don't want our kids to be uncomfortable because if our kid's uncomfortable, there's a problem There are two types of high schools those that are really great at allowing students to be uncomfortable and those who don't tolerate uncomfortable Usually that's a reflection of the parents So my problem is that no one told me college could be uncomfortable I went to uw madison an amazing school. Look at this picture. Isn't this gorgeous? Like who doesn't want to go to school here? And I thought I was gonna be an incredible time because that's what I was told and I've had brother eight years old A brother five years old or my parents went to college. Okay This is the same hill in the winter. This was like eight months of the year This was not on the front of the website and the reality is that college can be a storm It can storm socially emotionally physically financially and academically. These are the five big areas and high school Like I said, it's not about transition high school is about a destination Life is transition from birth to the end transition transition transition We're great at search and selection transition We're not good and students don't have the skills to navigate transition and parents They're not trained to be patient to help their kids navigate the five big areas of transition So the first thing you need to do as a parent is get comfortable to be uncomfortable And this means renaming the first year the getting comfortable year if you rename it the getting comfortable year Expectations can still be big But there's a longer timeline and when there's a longer timeline to reach your destination It becomes much easier to be patient to navigate the change and it starts with you that first semester Is a storm it's a crazy storm of emotions And if you get that and if you can be more patient and tolerant and remind your kid about this And let me tell you fairfield's an amazing place. They've got so many resources College transition, it's not an amazing place. Okay, and it's a real distinction every school in the world It can be uncomfortable. I transferred from UW-Madison to Indiana because I didn't know it could be uncomfortable and it shocked me There are five big areas of transition that you need to understand as a parent These are the five areas of transition that we encounter throughout life Now i'm also a syndicated advice columnist and what i've seen is that so many students graduate with a degree and a job But they stink at so many of the other areas of transition. There's the social emotion So i'm sorry, there's social emotional physical financial and academic the acronym is sep fa, okay I'll say it again. I'm gonna look into the camera sep fa It's a horrible acronym But it's one that is True to all transitions in life social emotional physical financial Academic becomes professional sep fa. So if you could think of your own transitions in life This is what you've had to deal with. This is what i'm dealing with We're moving in the very near future. So that's social emotional and physical and financial Wow, we got four coming up. So when you're dealing with transition, you could either face it or you can fight it Now there are two types of people There are those who fight the uncomfortable and during transition your child might face the uncomfortable and you as a parent might fight the uncomfortable These are people who are always looking to blame hate hide Attack anything or anyone that makes them uncomfortable and these are not happy and these are uncomfortable students uncomfortable people So your job as a parent is to really help your child to get comfortable with the uncomfortable Or if you're a grandparent or if you're a guardian, whoever you are, it's really normalizing uncomfortable Now there are those other people in the world and they can face the uncomfortable and it's your job to face it Because when we face it, we can acknowledge the truth We can look inwardly can look outward We can seek answers guidance support And these people tend to be much happier and easier to communicate with So the goal is we want to help you I want to help you and you want to help your child to get comfortable at the uncomfortable Normalizing uncomfortable, but to do that You need to know what's coming. See if you don't know about uncomfortable, you can't prepare for what's ahead This is the equivalent of driving through a storm and not knowing what a storm is It's having no experience on the road and driving through snow. Okay. I've done this the white knuckler I travel around the country. It scares me to no end. I have years of experience driving I know how to deal with these changes, but imagine if you didn't and imagine if no one told you and this is the This is this is the real problem I get very upset when it comes to high school search and selection because we do an atrocious job when it comes to Helping students prepare for social emotional Physical financial it's mostly academic. Okay, and then when they get to this new place and they're surprised And it might not happen their first year could happen sophomore junior senior year Many of them struggle There are some real issues that students as a whole Are dealing with so many students are dealing with emotional issues Over 46.4 of students felt hopeless over the past 12 months Almost half of students half of college students in the most incredible time of their life feeling hopeless And then over 34 feeling so depressed. It's hard to get their work done Let me share a few more of these uncomfortable facts with you And the reason I share this with you they're not to scare you they're to help you to recognize What's really happening? One in four students will not return to the same school their sophomore year 66 percent of surveyed students frequently or occasionally felt lonely or homesick. So if your kid's homesick, yes, you win Congratulations, two-thirds of students feel this 46.6 percent had a hard time getting along with their roommate Over half occasionally were intimidated by professors And 86.4 percent of students felt overwhelmed now Some of you you might find this to be you might find this normal Others, uh, you might be a little surprised Well, here's here's the good news I'm going to give you a template and I'm going to help you and I'm going to help your kids tonight If you're watching this tonight or you know, I will help them depending when you're watching this I'm going to help them to Really get comfortable with the uncomfortable So one of the things that I like to do if you have a younger child or if you're in a place where your child's confused About what to do next I like them to rank which of the following transitions are giving you the hardest time right now Especially if you have a student who's struggling, you know, which of these if it's social emotional physical financial or academic You rank these one to five five being the hardest one being the easiest the ones that are five Well, this is where we need to identify. What's making you uncomfortable? Once we can identify what's making us uncomfortable Then we don't have to panic. We could think people places and patients It's the students who fight the uncomfortable who can't acknowledge you uncomfortable who end up in trouble And it's the parents who don't allow their kids to be uncomfortable that end up escalating problems. Okay You need to be supported as well. And that's why we're here. That's why the family resources are here This is why you as a parent need to make sure that you have your people in places and I'll get to that in the next one Everything is going to be okay. That has to be your mantra.  If you have a kid who's living on campus I was talking to someone else. Listen uncomfortable uncomfortable Yeah, that's part of it without a doubt living with someone when you've never lived with someone That's just bizarre. We we spend our whole lives avoiding strangers And then and then we're supposed to live with one and watch them sleep like look at this is bizarre It's just admitting this is weird and strange and uncomfortable But is it unsafe? You know probably not most of the time and if it is unsafe This is where you have a support staff to help you and your child can reach out to that support staff It's always your child being the advocate, but it's really important for you as a parent to distinguish Is this unsafe or is this uncomfortable and for everybody? It's a little bit different But I think it's pretty clear For you to determine Which one of these things it is and also to help your child to be more tolerant of uncomfortable Rule number two When you face the uncomfortable don't panic Right, you can't panic and your kids don't panic think places people and patients could be people places and patients could be patients places people The three p's the most important part of navigating uncomfortable So just to recap If you can give yourself permission to be uncomfortable and allow your child to be uncomfortable Then you think people places and patients. So what does this mean? Well You and your child need three places and if you are an empty nester you no longer have that place that used to be high school You need five people who could be in your corner and you need to give it a couple semesters Okay, your children should always know that you're in their corner. Here's the catch parents Your kids are not in your corner and I know a lot of you have children Where your best friends have great relationships This is not the time for them to be in your corner your stuff that you're dealing with Find other people who could be in your corner Who can support you and help you and I'm going to give you a great framework Of how you can find the places and the people and how you can be patient So let me go a little bit deeper and while I share this I'm going to talk about the places your children need, but you also need your places as well So Why do you need three places and the reason you need three places is because it always gives you somewhere to go It always gives you something to do and you always have options Students who have no place especially if the place is in the room with their crazy roommate Or their uncomfortable roommate They have no options and when you have no options, that's when you start to panic Without places you have nowhere to go your child will end up online at home or stuck in his or her room You'll end up texting calling visiting or moving in you need your places at home Your places have dramatically changed too my daughter the situation where she had some friends that weren't being so wonderful to her and I Reminded her of people and places. I said, you know, sweetie Where are the three places you can do things during recess where you can find things that will make you happy? um And she thought of the places and then she thought of the people and she told the girls who weren't being kind of her How she felt and she had a plan to put herself in other places every student should have at least three places academic Organizations spiritual. I'll get into that so that you can really be a great director Because if your child's not happy you have to say listen, where are your places at fear field? Where can you sweat play pray live learn lead work? It's a great little song Sweat play pray live learn lead work sweat play pray live learn lead work These are the places where you can do things where you can build relationships Where you can build friendships. No one even tells us how to make friends Right. Can you believe all this stuff that no one ever tells your kids? Like this is why so many students struggle It takes time So if they're if they're challenged remind them, where are your places? Where are your three places? Because we all need places and it's hard and it's uncomfortable But uh, that's what that's what it takes. It's time and putting yourself in places All right and amazing resources go to the website You can also be the person to go to the to the campus website to help direct your student Read the campus newspaper campus newspaper here at fear field university. Read it get an idea of what's going on Check out the website look for info about activities fairs Now listen your kid should be doing these things But if your child can't find their people in places or if they're not into your recommendations, okay Then you can always say hey, why don't you investigate this? Why don't you investigate that? Find the people doing the things that they want to do they could talk to their RA if they live on campus They could talk to peer mentors They have a first year experience class where they have students who are actually in the classroom with them helping them Every week you can say hey, why don't during your first year seminar? Why don't you talk to one of the student leaders there and they can direct you talk to campus guides ambassadors and Again students who are paid to help or volunteer to help This is how they find their places and you as well should be finding your places Use parent and family resources as well take advantage of fairfield university's website take advantage of All of their resources take advantage of the individuals who are here who can answer your questions And instead of asking them to fix problems Ask them who are the who are the people who can help my child where the places my child can find help During um family weekend. It's a great time for you to just check in and actually see the people and the places here on campus So that you can be reassured and you can be a better director Five people why five people someone's always there you're never alone and you always have options I can't tell you how many students get to campus and they have no people and this is me I came to campus. I went to uw madison. I didn't have friends. My roommate needed to be my friend Uh-uh wasn't my friend tried to get into fraternity didn't get a bid everybody got invitations to join but me Uh-uh no friends. I did not know how to find people I had no people other than my girlfriend Then she dumped me her father compared our relationship to a dying puppy urging her to shoot the puppy It's a great wisdom you could use that one if you want um, and she shot the puppy and I was all alone and Had no people the reality is there's always people there's so many people who are on campus who want to help your child Uh The thing is they don't always know to seek those people out It's also very important that if your child's on a team ton of athletes here at fairfield They need to make sure that they have people outside of their team outside of that one place so that they have balance There are people who Volunteer to help there are people who are paid to help and there are people your child can enlist to help People who volunteer appear advisors student ambassadors teammates club and organizational leaders spiritual leaders current students students Um that they meet through social networks Where people they can enlist to help classmates peer mentors student workers Professors teaching assistants coaches experts advisors spiritual leaders leaders on facebook, you know, they can go to any club or organization They can find the students who are Members of this organization friends family and alumni from your high school You see that picture of the facebook page.  I mean this is great.  They just need to be the ones to Find these people and you can give them a little nudge a little push. Okay Then there's people to pay therapists doctors counselors nutritionists coaches tutors Advisors staff and support. I always tell students listen. You should have someone in your corner You should have a therapist. Okay, we should be born with therapists because really don't we all need people in our corner Right that we can talk to you should be able to walk into an office just like emotionally vomit just All over someone and then be like goodbye, right? Because you get emotionally vomited on all the time right and don't you think that you need a partner? So someone else who could be emotionally vomited on i do right i do you do So i think that's a wonderful thing if your child's uh dealing with big issues Making it very normal that you should have people in your corner also counseling services here are wonderful And some students want more And need more And for you it's always important that you have these people and that you have your places I could talk to you for an hour just about you you have to think who are the people in your corner Where are the places where you find connection in community? What are you doing to fill you up because the busier you are the less you're going to be consumed with your child's Well-being and you're going to be a much better at giving them the space Patience we are awful at patience. How much do you need? Well, it this this stuff doesn't just happen overnight It doesn't happen in two weeks and it doesn't happen in two months If you get to school and and you're visiting visiting with your child and they're uncomfortable you can be like that's awesome Okay, show them this all right Replay this because they're totally normal 66.6 of students feel homesick. The idea is what are you doing here? How can you be engaged here? Where are your places it could take a good two semesters it could even take a good two years Really, I think at least a year Two years if you think about change think about being on a job think about anything new in your own life It takes a couple years to really get comfortable That's almost half of this college experience and for students who have been in the same community their whole life That's really hard. So people places and patients. We're awful with patients. We're the worst Macaulay's life surprises your child don't panic Remember the universal rejection truth this idea that millions of people will give your child what your child wants Millions will not there's a truth of the universe It says not everybody's going to respond the way I want when someone doesn't respond I don't have to hate or hide I have to get comfortable with the uncomfortable And I have to think places and I have to think people And I have to think patients people places and patients and by the way that universal rejection truth I do a whole I do a whole workshop on college after dark That's about dating and relationships because if you look at dating and relationships big social and emotional risk that we're so afraid of And the thing we're most afraid of is rejection There should be a course on rejection when I retire, which won't that be never I will do a course on rejection because I think rejection is really the key To being incredibly successful, of course resilience, tolerance It's how great am I at no when I dream big how great am I at taking a step in the direction I want to go and continuing on that path knowing that not everyone and everything's going to respond the way I want But understanding that if I have people in places if I have people places and patients I can train to work to be the best so that I can tolerate the universal rejection truth and get wherever I want to go All right There's a lot I'm talking fast, but I got to get through it What's your story if your kid is struggling?  That's going to be what happens. Okay. I understand what's happening And I give you permission to feel what you're feeling And you shouldn't clap because that's going to piss them off. Okay. Don't do that. Let's let's be more Let's tone it down. Let's be more empathetic So yes, we I understand these things are all normal. These are these are it's hard to be where you are But you need to tell a story of how this stuff's going to really help you. So what's your may 2017 story? How did you change this? How has this helped you? How did you find your people? How did you find your places? What's your story and you tell the story as if it's already happened It's the end of the year and I had a bumpy start, but here's how I was able to find my friends Here's how I was able to write the things that were making me uncomfortable Tell your story and you as a parent it is so key You have to tell a great story and this is the hardest part Someone wrote me this letter Harlan i'm graduating high school my parents keep telling me they keep getting in awful fights starts with them yelling at me about Not being prepared for college which includes school friends parties laundry laundry. They're worried about laundry They also feel sad because they think they're the reason. Yep, because it's a parent who's worried about I didn't do a good enough job However, I think I'm prepared which is the most important part And them saying this stuff to me is stressing me out. What can I do to prove that I'm prepared? If you tell a story of doom gloom of not having big expectations of your child struggling That will be the story that runs through their head and you will not be in their corner Okay, I know you can be concerned and worried And yes, you want to be vigilant but you have to give them permission To go through this experience and at the same time telling the story of I know you're going to find resources I know you're going to find help.  That's right. Let them sit in it I marinated in my struggles. Their victories belong to you. I marinated in mine because I didn't have a cell phone I couldn't like, you know, terrorize my parents When I was I was so depressed that first year, but I marinated in it. I was a seasoned professional I got through it and that was the power their struggles belong to them But their victories belong to you and you should celebrate these victories You've done an amazing job and the experiences that your child's had in the past those are going to be what shapes their future and You can trust that they're going to make great choices And if they didn't make the best choices, you can trust that they're going to learn from the choices they make And they're going to need that freedom to be able to get to that next place A quick story about a mom who felt like a failure Following her daughter's first night at campus Mom came into this room crying The other parents were concerned. So what's wrong? She said my daughter Overslept She is hungover. We were supposed to meet for breakfast All her stuff still in boxes. She never unpacked and the mom was just she said I feel like a failure I feel like a failure and the other parents in the room said no, you're not a failure Your daughter's just going to live in a room with boxes and you have done everything right You are not a failure. Let your daughter live with boxes. Let her unpack when she wants to unpack Your job is done. Let her struggles belong to her and celebrate all her victories And I think that's such a hard thing and as a parent, I know But being a great parent is allowing your child to struggle Most parents will struggle give them permission. They're going to struggle in this beautiful campus Struggling is a gift and if they don't struggle now, when are they going to and if they can struggle Safely which is people places patients. They're going to learn. So our job is to create the dynamics So that our children Can take big risks healthy risks smart risks risks driven by what they want not what we want So that they can and to make sure that they have the dynamics set up people places and patients That's how they can get where they want to go and that's really this time in college There are a lot of people who aren't really big fans of college. You know, there's a lot of reasons why and you know the costs and And um, just students not having focus or direction and you know, what's the purpose The thing that I think is the most valuable part of this experience is this It's giving them the room To figure out what they want and then the social emotional the physical And working through the financial and giving them the room to do that so that they can get in the habit of thinking Okay, I've got a big dream. It's going to be uncomfortable at times people places patients But there's very few people who really give us that framework So that we can navigate those big changes and to me that transition piece That's the most important part of the college experience so There's a lot of articles you'll read about helicopter parenting giving birth to a generation of entitled victims This idea of if I do certain things I'm going to get this this idea of if I complete certain tasks People are going to want me and I love to turn this on its head.  You know, I think we get confused with entitled because we set it up that if you do certain things There are going to be other things that happen But I like this. What do you want to happen?  Certainly because you've done certain things You have to be great homesickness This is a big issue when students are uncomfortable Zoe's homesick steve is homesick. Pete is not homesick, right? The naked fact is that that is going to happen Um, it's a great exercise and how am I going to navigate uncomfortable if you bring your kid home and are like come on home Uh, that's like giving someone with an addiction more of what they're addicted to Celebrate that they love you and love home Make sure that they stay here and this is great that you'll be visiting soon Plan on when you're going to visit plan on when they'll visit and when you're here Make sure that you actually spend time here.  Hey, it sounds like hey And then you'll you'll say I thought you said you didn't have friends and they'll be like, well, they're not really my friends They're just people who say hey, you know, but that's weird. Okay. There's there's more happening So it's great. And then also for you if your child's struggling and navigating change Helping to find those people in places and reminding them. Okay Um, one of the resources I have um, and this is part of my my whole boot camp program I have a hope I'll introduce you to this boot camp program if you're interested But this idea of a naked plan and you could just use this slide When you're talking to your student about what's your story? What's your plan? These are great prompts. These are great questions To help direct them what happened Where are the places that you found help where the people helped you And then having a timeline and whatever they're dealing with whatever problem whatever obstacle This is a great framework to help them so that while they are struggling and while they're dealing with uncomfortable They can work through it with a plan It's easier to let them struggle when parents and students have places When they have people and when you can be patient see the importance of that people places and patients It's too hard otherwise. Um, and it can be really scary when they struggle Listen reserves resist the urge to fix listen. It's hard Ask them if they want help asking is always a shock because if you ask them they're like what you're asking me Um, some students just want to vent some parents are better to vent to than others But ask them do you want me to help you or just want me to listen? Help them identify places to find support help them to identify people who can support them help them to reach out And get help. This is so important. It's it's it's never you demanding answers. It's you Asking the people here on campus who are the people and where are the places? Where your child can get help they need to walk into those offices. They need to be the ones to Articulate what they're feeling and if they don't then they're just going to have to live in the uncomfortable. Remember it's not unsafe It's mostly uncomfortable. And if you're ever worried about safety, there are people who can do safety checks Uh, you can also depending on FERPA if you have a disclosure where you have access to medical records You can uh interact with a health professional if there are big issues that you're concerned about And then follow the next rule rule number four Apply the 24 hour rule Give everything 24 hours when you're giving your child permission to struggle and feel it relax Give the problem time to breathe like a fine wine And if you like alcohol you can drink a glass of wine because the thing is you're not going to uh, you're you're not going to Fix this and and and help them to learn how to fix their problems 24 hours is nothing Right, the problem is either going to be there tomorrow or your kid will come up with a solution Or there'll be a new problem and the old problem will no longer be a problem that you're so busy solving Can't tell you how many parents i've talked to who say I figured out the problem solve the problem. But then my kid forgot about it or there was a new problem We're really impatient. We're awful at patience Some things you can do to pass the time and this is where it's great for you as a parent You can redecorate their room. That's a great project. There's some we're going to be moving soon And gosh, there's so many great websites house and Pinterest Uh, it's so cool. It's overwhelming. And then there's these great shows on hgtv Skydive, I do not like that, but you could be an adventurous parent. Okay Uh, you might want to jump from an airplane with a baggie attached to your back That's not fair. I did do simulate skydive.  Um try yoga find something where you can sweat see a movie Um hang out with your friends. I think you should all have a group parents. You should all have a group where you Can get together with other parents and talk about what's going on If you are still involved with your high school, I love this idea of a year 13 club Uh a parent organization where you can all get together year 13 because it's a year after graduation Um, you could start that and have like wine and cheese or just have cheese or just have no cheese Just meets just go for a walk have a group have your places Of course, and this is really important in case of an emergency and a broken air conditioner is not an emergency Okay, someone actually called the president of the university because our kids air conditioner is broken Right. No, not an emergency.  Okay, because These five rules are all about this question. What do you think you should do and when someone doesn't know when child doesn't know And let me remind you give them time to answer. Okay You can ask where are the places you can get help for every problem There are at least three places and who are the people who can help you this idea of Developing a habit. There's a great book called the power of habit I'm obsessed with this book because it's amazing how we can program our brain To perform certain habit loops the deepest part of our brain This idea of this trigger of when I don't know what to do Asking myself the question. What should I do and thinking this is normal thinking places thinking people And then keep asking your children these questions So the relationship you have with fearfield and the relationship that you have with the individuals here on campus It's really about you being a great director so that when they don't know You can always help them They don't know the answer direct them to people in places. Let them be the ones to fix it A lot of you love fixing you love being necessary find other ways.  This is costing us tens of thousands of dollars. We're not celebrating the idea is you celebrate Because you give them the room to find their people in places so they can get help Because if they can address it now by the time december comes along they're going to fix the problem But if they're too afraid to address it with you then they're not going to use you as a resource So this idea of celebrating and uh being patient You know, we want our kids to be successful and sometimes Sometimes they struggle that first year is really hard. It's a really tough year Some students end up on probation Now I don't want your child to end up on probation But that moment of i'm accountable to someone else other than you mom or dad I cannot tell you how many people i've talked to who have faced that moment Who have come back from it more powerful and more intrinsically motivated than ever before Your students going to be successful because successful students are successful No matter where they go and no matter what their course is But this journey of really getting great at transition That's how they become like incredibly successful and self-sufficient And great leaders who can help others along the way Your job is to support listen and empower not overpower and I know this has been a very one-way conversation Parenting is so complex and your situations that you're dealing with with your child Are things I can't even always understand, you know, I can't I can't But I do understand that there's a framework that we can use To help and that's hard and it's a muscle for us as well as parents Rule number five can only be followed by parents who are comfortable with the uncomfortable Know the people in places on and off campus allow their children to safely struggle And are patient enough to apply the 24 hour rule So let me recap this these are the five simple rules number one get comfortable with the uncomfortable Number two don't panic think people places and patients three Their struggles belong to them But their victories belong to you and there's could be so many of them celebrate them It's kind of tongue-in-cheek, but yeah those victories you're amazing apply the 24 hour rule Practice asking what do you think you should do and these are the rules that will help guide you so that you can help your child through this next Part of their life and beyond now. I don't know exactly why you're here Some of you might be excited or nervous about these changes Some of you might Have a child is the first one in the family to attend college. Congratulations. You might be worried about your child making mistakes Yes, they will make some your child might have struggled in the past And I think that's really scary when you have a child Who's made poor decisions in the past and you're really afraid of them making more poor decisions And the reality is they might they probably will but if they have people in places They're going to be okay Then you might have a child that's going far away the distance can be really hard You might be concerned about safety and security on campus It's a really very real concern and if you have any of these questions There are people who can address all of these concerns and it's important your child be aware of these things But I do know that there's one thing I hope that you know that parents, you know, what's coming they're better equipped to alleviate stress director children To the right resources and you can be patient during this time now. I want to be in your corner not just Today but in the future. I'm going to answer your questions in a minute But I want to introduce you to something that I created It's called naked roommate college boot camp for students and parents Because I've seen that high school really doesn't do a great job helping students to navigate Transition so I created this this boot camp and it's live events Just like this videos online resources and the goal is I want to help So that you and your child are supported and that you don't have to make the same mistakes that I made So the way this naked roommate boot camp works Is I run student and parent workshops I hosted one in august It was a pre-college workshop that you'll have access to it was about preparing and setting goals planning mapping out What needs to happen and navigating so if your child needs to be centered I think this is even a better time to watch this Because now it's like okay. I'm here. I get what's happening And that's the problem with so much of this is we don't know what we need till we need it And when we need it a lot of times it's too late But it's not going to be too late because I am proactively working to support you and your child Also parent workshops this workshop will be replayed But I also have a really great pre-college workshop that you'll have access to as well a little different than this But you'll have access to that 24 hour access I'm running some additional workshops. I'm going to be doing a college after dark workshop again Fix it workshop to deal with all of the immediate problems another fix at workshop later in the fall Addressing breaks Thanksgiving things of that nature winter break and then training for the support of taking risks I also have a financial workshop that i'm developing and then if you have a child who is younger Who's going through search and selection? I'm going to be hosting a lot of workshops to help them to really be directed There's modules and lessons that are part of this boot camp. These are additional resources You really don't need to do anything but just participate in the workshops and access the resources if you need them There are also amazing resources like this five parts of college transition This is a really cool worksheet that helps to guide you or your child through the big five changes And helps them to identify their people in places. So it makes it really easy I equate it to having a jar full of coins that are all mixed up and using this as kind of a filter to be able to organize thoughts into really manageable pieces Membership and naked room boot camp includes 10 live workshops college planning workshops track for students track for parents There's a naked roommate workbook I include a lot of that private facebook groups for students and parents And then there are also bonus videos and sometimes I even jump on a call I have a small group of people so I try to be as involved as I possibly can So you get all this and this is the only thing that I do where I charge people for this And you get access to all of the workshops to all the videos. It's lifetime access. It's for your family It's for your kids I'll create some new user IDs if you need those as well and just a one-time payment So if you're interested in this great I would love to be in your corner and continue to be in your corner I will be in your corner regardless And I'm here to answer your questions. Oh, we just added a bonus I forgot about my bonus I'll send you a copy of one of my books if you sign up as well and just mention that you're a fairfield parent And I'll be more than happy. You know what I could do.  It's really easy to fill out I'm gonna leave this up on the screen because I have time now to answer your questions They could be about anything. It could be about the bootcamp It could be about the issues we discuss. Do we have questions? We do have a few questions the first one writing your questions The first one, I know that you had said that you will do a more specific webinar relating to finances But one parent wrote in and just wanted you to kind of speak more a little bit about the line of College parenting with regard to finances how to kind of navigate that situation Where to draw the line, etc. Well, thank you for that and in this webinar It's so hard to just deal. There's so many issues and I am putting together a whole financial Planning webinar, which also is going to include budgeting and that's something that I'm currently putting together. So To answer your question right now The most important thing is that students should have a budget every student should have a budget And they'll say I don't know. I don't have a budget We'll talk to an upperclassman who has a budget the first year experience course remind me of the name of the course again FYE, you're correct. It's your experience. So it's FYE and in FYE Your student has access to other students and you can use that as a vehicle talk to a student in your FYE Ask them. How can I put together a budget? Where do I start? Because there are students who can direct them and they can go to the financial aid office They can talk to their advisor They can talk to someone who's a sophomore Now a lot of times they'll give you an answer of you know, they just don't know where to start Well, you can tell them that's where to start another thing to do Is when they go to the financial aid office is to talk to their advisor and your child needs to have a good relationship with their financial aid advisor If that isn't a great relationship, they need to find someone else. You need to find a match Because it's so important. They need to find someone who's like them. This is what I always tell high school students If money is an issue find someone who comes from a similar dynamic Who's a junior or a senior and talk to that person who's a junior or senior and ask them How did you do it? Okay, because everyone's going to give them the information They're going to share their story. Everybody's got a story. So they talk to those people So this whole idea of people, places and patients It's who are the people who have been there and done it? Who are the people who are paid to help you? Who are the people who could direct you to other people who uh, have gone through this and then places You know your classroom financial aid office Uh, also your advisor if you're in an organization talking to the other members that organization If you're an athlete talking to those individuals talking to the coaches Also, uh having a really good sense of what it's going to cost when I graduate in terms of of loans Of what that payment really understanding what that's going to be like when i'm a Graduate and how much is that going to translate to so i've kind of i'm sorry that i've kind of mashed this into like One little ball I would say number one is budget because the budget's the most important because when your child has a budget That's going to be a frame of reference to then be able to work on all of the other pieces beyond graduation And even if you're paying for it all you're helping budget first semester There are big one-time costs. This is why having someone who's been there and done it Especially a sophomore is incredibly helpful and also um, again you reaching out to the financial experts here on campus And also being part of communities on the facebook group my naked roommate facebook group reach out to other parents write a question Go to the facebook group and say one of the five best places where you were able to get financial guidance Who are the people who helped you most? uh, those questions of Where are the places and who are the people talking to people who have been there and done it? I find it's really the way of hacking. It's a shortcut to get to where we want. Okay I feel like I did a decent job with that. Yeah, great We had a few questions regarding the event tonight Some parents want you to speak a little bit more about that specifically one parent wrote I'm afraid that if I suggest to my son that he go to the Seminar this evening that he won't go because the parent has suggested that he Yeah, you know, isn't that awful when you when you suggest it How about this? How about suggesting they don't go? Okay, you could say I did this webinar this guy did this thing It's happening tonight. I know you're not going to go because I know you don't want to go and um, probably no one's going to go Um, but I wanted you to know so that when you don't go, you know Okay, that's one way like really focus on the don't go And then you could send them a link or send them a video and you could just talk about like and you could say The problem is here's the other you go don't go the thing that really bothered me and talk about what bothered to say You know, he was really honest and he talked a lot about um, like alcohol and sex and it really bothered me And I don't want you to hear this Okay Then now see what we're doing here Uh, but you can mention it in that way and mention mention it because you need to mention it But you could also mention that he also talked about how I don't have to be like how I I don't need to irritate you and you could say have I irritated you like am I being okay So if you also start from a place of asking am I being okay? Because um, I went to this webinar in harland who's doing this thing tonight He really told me all these things. I think I'm doing wrong.  You don't want me to see them to see so This idea of approaching it from a place of being like, you know vulnerable And um and being loving And also you can be fun and direct them to not go But hopefully tonight they'll get people who who I think there's a lot of people who are going to go because Um, they're they're offering credit as part of their course um, it's it's uh, you know It's something that they'll be incentivized to go to so I hope they go. It's really fun and uh It's a really good. It's a really good time. This is my third time here in like three years I love this place. This is like I have a good vibe here. I like the students here. This is a good place So hopefully they'll go. Okay, cool. I can call them. Should I text them? Should I text your kid? They'll text your kid. All right. I'll be on snapchat trying to I'm gonna I'll talk about this how parents are so afraid to talk to you to get you to go because they don't want you to Not go so I'll mention this but I won't mention you because I don't even know you okay Two more minutes two more questions, but I'll group them together because they kind of really we had somebody right in They have a commuter student. We also had someone right in Living very very very far away Um and both parents just kind of wanted you to speak to what those experiences are like and Kind of just student engagement in general with these unique populations I think I might even break it into two only because the commuter part and everything I've mentioned is for commuters Okay, I mean the only part is roommates, but eventually they'll have roommates and a lot of times you're their roommate So that creates a bigger problem Commuter students they need to have their places if they don't have their places on campus If their place is in their car or just in the classroom They're not going to be connected and parents really need to understand especially first generation Students that they need to have their places and I'm always a big fan of if money is the issue Then figure out a way to live on campus next year And it's only the only reason to live on campus is because if you're attending these events at night If you're immersed in this world, you're going to feel much more connected Now if you're not living on campus, and that's just not an option Then really making sure they're anchored with that place. Maybe it's a spiritual organization. Maybe it's campus activities Maybe it's student government Then they might say, oh, I don't want to go because I have to work Find a job on campus find a purpose where you can get paid on campus Make being on campus as important as those other things that are pulling you off campus Because that's how they're really going to be immersed Connecting with other commuters being involved with commuter leadership I would say having a role on campus a leadership role gives you a place where you're anchored and it gives you a purpose It gives you something to say to people and it gives you a reason to interact. So that's really important And then being far away being far away physically you're far away But because of technology we're so connected and one of the risks is you want to make sure that you're Having boundaries, you know your child's going to be safe. Your child's going to be wonderful your child is going to be supported one of the risks that a lot of Long-distance students have to face is this idea of the fifth wall of tech technology the fifth wall is The internet cell phones. It's all these things that emotionally I can stay connected to you through technology But physically I'm on campus, but I'm not really here. So really encouraging that Having your communication be limited And at the same time for you being far away when you are here Is really walking around campus is really knowing the places Really being comfortable with these people so that you can be able to direct your child to these resources And the other part is a job jobs are great because jobs really give your children a place to go And people that they're surrounded by so I think that being far away That's one of the things that really force us to be much more patient because we're we're we're and I love greek life spiritual life Really having a connection where they can over time find their find their way so I love this. I hope you've enjoyed this. I'm so grateful that we can have this time together The the one part I love more than anything is interacting. So please visit my facebook page Harlan Cohen or it's facebook.com you you can see it right there. It's on the screen You can follow me on snapchat. You can follow me on twitter And if you're part of that naked roommate boot camp, you have access to me I'm like all over that and I really try and be as responsive as I possibly can Because I just want to help you guys and I want to help your kids. So Thank you all for being here. I look forward to continuing this relationship and thank you fairfield for having me It's been a wonderful hour with y'all. Thank you with y'all all of a sudden from the south. I'm from chicago It's been it's been a great time. Thank you all so much


Hey friends today We are hanging out in Disney Springs, and there's a new cookie of the month at Gideon's Bakehouse for November So I'm so excited to actually go try it and then also I want to do some shopping and see if there's anything new So we're gonna eat some food Maybe at one of the fancy restaurants do some shopping at the world of Disney and have a beautiful Disney Springs kind of day Anyhoo's Let's go do this It is such a beautiful day out today a little bit chilly though In fact yesterday was Halloween and the temperature was in the 80s and then this morning I woke up It's November 1st and it dropped down to the 60s. So I actually had to put a hoodie on this morning Honestly, I'm excited for it. It's always amazing to be able to come out and experience the parks when it's not so hot You're not a sweaty mess and plus finally I get to wear some like comfortable hoodies And this is a Roosevelt hoodie. This is actually monsters monsters. Thank these are all doors. Isn't that so cool? I always like to point out because this is one of my favorite hoodies, but yeah I'm excited for the day and it's gonna be fun.  I Figured I'd make my way over to Gideon's first to see if they have a Standby queue or if they're doing a virtual queue and it actually looks like they're doing Standby maybe oh, nope. It's a virtual. It looks like it's a very long line actually. Oh, yeah Oh the first day of the new cookie. Look at that. Everyone likes to come out Here is a look at the new menu for November and I like the artwork on the front here It actually looks really really cool and it's gonna be a nice little addition to my collection I like to save these I collect them actually and the cookie of the month November's limited edition flavor is the pumpkin bread Chocolate crumb cookie doesn't that sound amazing? And then I also found out that they have a pumpkin cake slice for today That they actually sell and it's not on this menu So I'm gonna be getting that too, but oh wow. Oh the French toast nitro cold brew Well, the wait time was only about 20 minutes and I ended up getting basically Everything pumpkin. I literally did I got almost everything pumpkin. I got the pumpkin cake slice I got the pumpkin cookie and I got the pumpkin cold brew. Look at that We're pumpkinly blessed. Oh, yeah, there we go the goods we need to get it all and now let me show you I Love how everything says limited edition on it and first I think we'll start with the pumpkin chai Spice cake. This is a flavorful pumpkin spice cake That's covered with candied pumpkin seeds and also chai buttercream and look at that Wow, it looks so good And I love how they do double frosting too, and then we also have the pumpkin bread chocolate crumb cookie. I'm gonna Wrap this Oh, it's upside down. Oh Look at that. Look at the crumb on top.  All right pumpkin first thing the pumpkin Crumb cookie how many times do you think I could say pumpkin in this video? Here we go, let's dive into the pumpkin Of course, you're gonna break the cookie the pumpkin the pumpkin bless. There we go. Oh wow. It's so soft Look at this. Oh boy. I gotta get a catcher. I'm sliding this end because it's gonna fall apart. Look at that Holy moly This cookie is knocking it out of the park what a combination Honestly the chocolate on the inside there. Can you see it and then the pumpkin? Oh wow It's like real pumpkin filling in there like real pumpkin pie filling in there. I feel like that is incredible that wow Enough of the pumpkin cookie business now It's time to get to the pumpkin cake slice and I'm excited because I want to make sure I get some of those Candy pecan slices in there too and the buttercream icing. There we go You guys know in the beginning when I said the cookie looks like it could be a contender for my favorite cookie Well, sadly, it's not. I mean the banana bread is just so good I can't you know, it's got to be something amazing to knock that out of the number one spot now This cookie is amazing. I probably put it in my top five, but the cake slice is my favorite cake slice I think I've ever had and I wasn't expecting the crunchiness of the candied Pumpkin seeds in there, but they are amazing. Look at that. Hold on. Let me soup in look at this that's in between the cake and the icing that is little like pits little like bits of Candy pumpkin seeds, I think or something or crumb or something that would oh my lord I love this cake If you're that type of person who loves pumpkin pie and not just love pumpkin pie because it's pumpkin season I mean you pray pumpkin pie. I think you'd love this cookie It could be the best combination cookie cake, you know, I would say this might be the best combination cookie cake I mean Honestly, I don't think nothing's ever gonna beat that banana bread like the banana chocolate chip cookie I just love bananas so much, but wow That look at that. That is the pumpkin filling and chocolate in there. It looks so good. I mean wow kudos Normally it's all about the cookie business, but the pumpkin the pumpkin cake literally stole the show today Now I got to go pumpkin cold brew pumpkin cake Mmm, I'm gonna need something with icing. I'm not icing though. That was literally just I Need some of the cake that was literally just a fork full of icing, but here we go Well, that was a pleasant way to start the day some pumpkin cookies a pumpkin cake slice and Pumpkin cold brew. I mean honestly, I'm all about that business. It's November now I can't wait for turkey dinner. In fact, we'll probably get dinner here somewhere I wish they had turkey dinner like you're around if there was somewhere here. I can get turkey dinner I go get it right now like I'm not ready for Thanksgiving and then also I want to go shopping I think we're gonna make our way over the world of Disney enough of the cookie business as I was walking through Disney Springs I wanted to point out did you know that you can actually come here and buy tickets to Disney actually at Disney Springs? They have a Disney ticket center here kind of cool. Just wanted to point it out. It looks fun in there They've got a castle and typhoon lagoon Speaking of typhoon lagoon. Did you guys know Blizzard Beach is actually opening up in November? They're opening up a water park in November like it's been closed like it's seasonal But it opens up in just a couple of days and I'm excited and also I like going there to actually renew my annual path a lot of Times like you could just renew your annual pass like online But I feel special coming down to Disney Springs are going to the Magic Kingdom and waiting in line and then you get up Then you're like hi, I'd like to renew my annual pass I don't know. It just feels a little bit different and if you go down to the Amway Center in Orlando They used to give you a free jersey like you actually when you went to the Orlando Magic at Amway There's like a Disney like ticket center if you go there They they used to be able to give you a free jersey if you renew your annual pass I don't know if that's true still that was a couple years ago But still a fun thing to point out the last time I was at Disney Springs I ended up buying a gigantic Mickey pumpkin or actually no the last time I was at Disney Springs was way cooler Like the last time I was at Disney Springs I got to hang out with Brian Cranston and Aaron Paul from Breaking Bad and it was cool I actually made a video. We actually were at Epcot earlier and we even rode Guardians of the Galaxy together That was so cool But what I was referencing was the last time I was here. I made a video I ended up going to the world of Disney and buying a gigantic Mickey pumpkin And I'm not buying anything today unless it's something really really cool But I want to see if there's any Christmas stuff in there. You never know. I mean, it's not too early Halloween was just yesterday There it is the world of Disney. I love coming in here and I love going shopping I never noticed the hidden Mickey's on the pillars up there though, huh? Always finding new things here in Disney. Oh Wow, look at this The Christmas merchandise has arrived Wow $79.99 Look at that. I kind of like the spirit Jersey a lot and they got the Crocs and slippers and backpacks They got everything. I mean, I Don't know if this stuff was here before like November. They just put this all out last night But they got a whole selection whole section a whole selection. Oh even a train too. Look it Wow Oh my lanta it goes on and on there's more over here. We got another spirit Jersey. I like the other one better I mean that one's nice. Oh, I do like this one because it's like a spirit sweater Jersey Oh, I want it at the same price $99.99 Wow, you don't say And then you've got some Bruno Christmas shirts.  Oh and then also I love this one with genie on there Dumbo Bambi Actually, I like this animation a lot. This this hoodie is really cool Wow. Oh, does it say Walt Disney World on the bottom there? I honestly might want to get this but I don't know if I should wait I don't think I'm ready to actually buy any of the Christmas stuff The whole entire Disney merchandise game has changed, you know used to be back in the day There was like a hot like item and everybody would buy that one item now Disney just like they keep on releasing more and more items You know, I mean like they put out this stuff But they're going to keep on putting out more stuff and you think that that item might be the hot item But the next one is going to be better. So they need to buy more So that's what I'm going to wait till I see more things come out and then maybe I'll start getting in the holiday spirit But I still want to keep looking around for non Holiday merchandise, you know something else that might catch my fancy I'm sure I'm probably not going to find anything in here. Everything is very expensive I mean, actually they have probably the most expensive. Oh my lord. Is that a gigantic spaceship earth Look at that $79,000 That's kind of cool though, and you can even buy the pylons too for uh Just around $1,300 does come with a certificate of authenticity. I'll let you know that this is spaceship earth If you thought the $80,000 spaceship earth was something wait till you see Cinderella castle $285,000 Almost $300,000 for this Cinderella castle Look at that. But look at the detail. Look at it. Actually just spin around. I'm going to try to focus in a little bit Isn't that amazing? I mean for $285,000, I really hope you get this whole entire stand And you get to like have it on display just like this I don't think I would want it any other way. Look at the back of the castle Look at all of the detail and it's just so shiny So shiny Does anybody else automatically think of timatura whenever they say shiny? As I was admiring the $300,000 castle, I looked to my left and look at what they got in the photo pass studio This is my first time actually coming in and getting to see this and Halloween was yesterday So it's actually going to be leaving soon and they're going to replace it probably with something for Christmas or the holiday season And I'm glad I stepped into it because now I want to take my photo That is just so awesome. I remember they just had like backgrounds like they had like You know your regular backgrounds, but they actually have like physical props now and this is all free You can actually come to Disney Springs And you can get your photos taken with these awesome props and soon Christmas ones And it's actually free even more if you have the annual pass or the memory maker because then you get those photos for free You know, I mean using the studio is free but you still have to pay for them unless you have the memory maker But that's awesome. Oh, look at this right here. Nice little frame I like that Oh, my mom would buy that especially if it had the year on it. She loves buying things with the year on it. I tell you I've got to hang out in the co-op more often I mean they've always had great things. It's one of my favorite places in the shop But like they're taking it to a next level. They've got Disney tales in here It's like the pet store and then they also have wandering oaks back there now Look at this. Yoo-hoo big summer blowout Wandering oak and straight in post. That's really really awesome.  You know, take a little gander here 25th anniversary of animal kingdom. You don't say at one point I bet you these were really hard to get now. They're buy one get 150 off They have the 50th anniversary hoodies too. Look at that. They have plus size. Look at plus two excel I never even seen that as an option. They have all sizes usually like that's that's pretty impressive They have all sizes available on most of these items in here.   I don't know how much it is. It doesn't have the thing This is a treat That was a fun shopping experience.  It's a little too maybe december december I bet she's gonna be our big holiday shopping month even though I kind of want to go home and put my tree up now But now I'm getting all excited about it, but we're gonna wait. We're gonna wait. We got to get to Thanksgiving Thanksgiving first Now I've got myself wanting to come down to the days of christmas store here at disney springs This is open year round the magic of the holidays never ends It's greatest of gifts our family and friends and also look at the Dalmatian Look at the Dalmatians they have here. I always like coming in right on top of the fireplace Gracie approves This one actually kind of looks like Gracie a little bit Except for she doesn't have the spots on the top there and a lot of spots a lot of spots missing in the Bat there it's never too early to start looking for christmas ornaments I think my mom uh, she used to shop for christmas ornaments all year round I remember that I used to be like, why are we buying christmas stuff in july and you know what I mean? But my mom had the uh, she had the right idea and they got plenty to choose from in here a lot of moana I actually like the moana ones. This one's cool because it's actually popping out a little bit Oh and the glass slipper Very very fancy, but these are expensive and I'm afraid that they break easily Like most ornaments 26 99 Holy moly it's 30 dollars for one ornament Man, you know that was always the biggest thing Wrapping and packing up the ornaments. We used to have to go around and collect newspapers My mom used to go make us go get newspapers so we can wrap up all the ornaments extra types so they don't break Now I know why 26 99 This was a big mistake and I should have never come in this store Because there are certain things in here that I am really contemplating on buying right now because I'm in love with them And I don't that's not this isn't the time As some of you guys are aware I am a very avid Disney collector. I like to buy, you know different Disney props original animation But take a look at this over here I saw this and I was in love immediately I love this these are the voice actors of Pongo and Perdita look at that signed by them I love it rod Taylor and lisa daniels and it is selling for $475 I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I thought I was going to do it, but I didn't do it And the reason why is because now now don't get me wrong I was going to say that it's not worth the price in there But it is worth the price because there is no better trusted source Then disney themselves when you're buying original animation signatures anything like that like that is the certificate of authenticity right there But you could buy it at a lower price They have signed plenty of different You know prints before in the past and I do know a couple of people that are very trustworthy So I'll look for them elsewhere, but I like that whole setup. It is very nice and I definitely will get it I will just not for $490 It's probably a good idea for us to start trying to figure out where we want to go have some dinner at I mean, there's lots of great spots here at disney springs But I kind of want to do something I haven't done in a while or something I've never done but I don't think that's possible here at disney springs I feel like I've been at every single restaurant here I am so torn right now because I love going to eat at the boat house And I know there's going to be an amazing sunset tonight But like I said, I want to try something different I feel like I eat at the boat house at least once a week But look at that sunset imagine city on the dock. I wonder if there's another place Oh, it looks like the car is about to actually launch off too. Oh fancy this Ah, look at that This is one of my favorite things Oath house is definitely one of my favorite restaurants But we're gonna keep to something something just we have any in ad like a lot, you know I mean, it doesn't have to be the first time just something we don't go to that often Enzo's hideaway is a restaurant I feel like I haven't eaten at a lot and I really like the idea behind it It's a little tunnel bar and restaurant below this whole entire complex It's really cool because all of these restaurants connect You have Enzo's hideaway. You have ponte Pizza pizza ponte Then you got maria and Enzo's over there the Edison all of these like connect and I always talk about it So I think we're gonna actually go down there I think we're gonna eat at Enzo's hideaway and I'll show you like the secret passage way That you have to take to actually get over to the Edison and the other parts. It's really cool In fact, maybe we might eat outside if they let us because this is like a nice little area to sit and dine Look at you can sit by the water underneath the bridge and you can watch the sunset I don't know. I kind of like both ideas Over here. This is the entrance. Look at this It kind of looks like a speakeasy and then as you walk in You'll notice like you're kind of like underground in a tunnel We're gonna actually walk through all the restaurants right now so I can show you what I was talking about And it's cool because right now we are in Maria and Enzo's no right now we are in Enzo's hideaway But I'll show you how we get to The Edison it's actually over here. It's a really cool passageway If you walk all the way to the back of the restaurant You'll see this little area where they have like a table and a bunch of bottles of wine And you just go to the left of it and I I've showed this before and you come back here and it's not backstage This is open to the public And you come in this hallway See there it says cast members only and you take this hallway straight down Let's see restroom and this takes you into The Edison look at this How cool is that? We're in a different restaurant now. This is like the steampunk restaurant next door It's kind of cool, huh? And like I said, you can just walk in and out that door right there In fact, it actually shares the bathroom the bathroom that's in between that's in the hallway Where we were walking is the way to get to the bathroom Like that's why I said restroom ahead because it connects by the restaurant So I think it's just kind of cool It reminds me of the beginning or reminds me of the Goodfellas scene from the movie when they're walking through the The back of the restaurant. That's what that reminds me of Look at that. It's kind of cool Now that I'm here I kind of love it and I think I'm just gonna stay I think we're just gonna stay here and actually eat here. It's so awesome And I think they have an outdoor seating area even though I love seating like on the inside And it's two stories so you can sit upstairs or downstairs But I really do want to sit outside. It's such a nice day You know what I mean? I think it's right over here. They have the outdoor seating If I wasn't sitting outside, I'd love to sit over in that couch area there. It's got a nice little lamp But I want to catch a sunset We made the right decision. This is beautiful out here. I mean, I liked I liked uh Enzo's hideaway because it was under the bridge But you wouldn't be able to see the sunset but this view you can see the sunset and so much more I love it and the Edison's food is pretty good. They got very fancy bacon Which they told me if I want to get the fancy bacon I got to go inside because they let it on fire or something like uh, they do some fancy with I had it before It's pretty cool. Uh, but I could just order the food at the bar and then come sit out here. It's it's literally perfect Just look at this view I mean honestly Wow It's like kind of right behind like the balloon is right in front of the sun right now So it's almost like an eclipse and uh, it's time to head inside real quick I'm gonna grab a table.  Look at that Holy moly you torch it. Oh, wow Now I see there's a show It smells good, right I feel like the show is necessary for this bacon. I mean the bacon looks fantastic It's thick and I love how the fire made the grease come down. Uh, but it is 18 dollars 18 dollars isn't that that's a lot Holy moly that's almost five dollars a slice of bacon five dollars Five dollars. Oh, wow. I got to see what this five dollar bacon tastes like I have had this bacon here before but I can't remember. I remember it being really really good So here we go I can tell you this bacon is definitely some of the best bacon I've ever had Like I don't eat bacon like, you know, all the time like I don't eat bacon like as a side like for breakfast But this is amazing and I probably would pay five dollars for it just to be able to eat it with this view Bacon with the view is worth five dollars or twenty dollars. Look at that It's so beautiful On top of the bacon. I got myself a short rib and it looks gigantic Look at that and also I got myself a little Pellegrino little Pellegrino. Put it right in there Pellegrino short rib bacon sunset Ah That's what I'm talking about I'm just loving this natural lighting. Look at the color. It's like so orange out right now Everything's golden Oh stay golden pony boy You guys know where that's from. Let me know in the comments Stay golden pony boy And let's look at this short rib. Why am I having this? You're trying to unwrap my napkin. I'm just trying to eat my short rib There it is. There it is There we go We'll do a little short rib Uh pulls apart a little mashed potatoes all in one bite To you the Edison Have a wonderful night Wow, the food here is amazing. They definitely redid the menu They definitely redid the menu because I remember they had prime rib here, but look at this short rib just falling apart So tender Wow in a good portion of mashed potatoes and green beans there I'm all about it Well, the sun is just about all the way set look you can actually see some of the uh the boats in the water behind me Look at that Isn't that so cool? But anyway, the sun is just about set and I think they're starting live music on the inside My meal's all done. Everything was fantastic. I loved this whole experience But I think I'm going to go inside and show you guys the live entertainment and then we got to go to sprinkles We got to get ourselves. Uh, we got to get greasy or a pup cake Wasn't that just great I feel like tonight has been so fun Like I feel like I've just been having a great night hanging out at disney springs and just kind of like just Bringing you guys along with me And I don't know maybe we'll walk around a little bit, you know, maybe check out a couple more stores and uh, who knows Maybe mine end up getting something but oh We got to go get greasy her pup cake. That's what we got to do. So that's where we're going off to sprinkles Also, it's kind of cool to be able to show you guys what the springs look like at night It gets so nice and majestic and beautiful Oh, we're gonna make our way over on the complete opposite side. You actually see sprinkles straight ahead there That's where she's at. Oh, I got my Pellegrino with me still Pellegrino, I don't know why I love it, but I do Is like 67 degrees out tonight right now and I'm kind of really cool Like I'm walking through the springs right now and I'm I'm shivering Even though I got the hoodie on I'm still pretty cold. I can't believe it Gracie loves sprinkles. Yes, she does. Yes, she does Got to get her her little sprinkles. Hey, how are you? Oh, they got a pumpkin one and then they also have a chef series Oh, you know what? I'm gonna add a couple. I'm gonna add a couple. I mean, I'm gonna add a cupcake Let's see. Where's Gracie's? No, I don't see any here Nope There it is the pup pack Done Do you want pup cup? Who wants a pup cup? Huh? You want one? With that, we are done here today If you couldn't tell I am back on my old camera just temporarily until I can find a new camera Only because this one is literally on its last leg like like I said, I was talking about this in my last video I have tons of different Canon G7 X's. They just don't make them anymore. I tried to get my best buy I looked on Walmart Canon all these places. They're just temporarily unavailable Some places you can get them But I don't trust those sites and I've bottomed from there before and they usually end up coming like with Dead pixels in them So I tried the sony zv1 mark 2 and I didn't like the audio wasn't that good And I don't like wearing external mic The Canon G7 X mark 2 is just good enough on its own that I don't need to wear a mic So why would I buy a camera that I need to buy an accessory to use when I had a camera that could do it all So hopefully I could just find a camera that's just kind of similar to it And well, you know test it out see how it goes But thank you to everyone that caught on and let me know that the audio was bad But as soon as I was editing I was like, oh, yeah, I knew it. So I agree with a lot of you So anyways, I hope you enjoyed the video. I enjoyed making it and we'll see you next time. Bye