Some of the same chicks, I don't know. That's neither here nor there. But yo, my man walks in the spot, right? I made the mistake of telling him, I'm doing good. I got lean back, I'm cracking with Wheezy and all. So I'm good, good.  I gotta do something. He talked about it as a little bambi hosted the BT award. I know, man.  Fat Joe, yesterday's price is not today's price. They need to put that on the gas stations. Mm, that is hilarious.  I just had a brilliant idea. It's $5.89 in LA.  Oh, yeah. That's brilliant. I don't want to let you roll in with that internet. I might think of what this is. We got a Wheezy secret. Put a club house. How much is the gas here? Club. Shit, it depends on where you go. It's $5.89 in LA. $9.85. I just was out there. We bought a phone for $93. Yeah, I just was out there. Gas costs more than a happy meal. I'm already in there easily. About to be sick. Yeah, I like when the gas prices go up. Cause motherfuckers start staying home. They about to start talking back on the phone. When was the last time you been in a real-life trap house? When I was in Miami the last time.  I was watching Fighting Words. Mm-hmm. I love the story about your stepdaddy getting beat up. That is great. That was on Netflix. That's not all Fighting Words. I don't see. What's the, okay. See, I done watched them all. That's they ready. They ready?  In the rain? It was rainy. And I didn't wanna, cause that's my brother's father, so I let him live.  Keepin' beat up in the rain, man. Then shit's slippery, too.  That's the only defense you could say it after that.  You gotta live in that by, if it wouldn't have been raining.   Then you know that. Man, cap.   It was raining hard in the motherfucker. Every time you tell the story, you gotta increase the rain. By 20%. Damn flood.  They're fighting it, waist deep. They're probably shittin' that peace out. Don't put him on blast like that. Well, maybe he is.  I haven't been there, but. You been on the road and shit, man. You goin' up. Just like I told you you would. Yeah, it's more activity elsewhere, right? I told you first. You ain't nothing. I told you in that van. I told you in that limo. What you told? We had a long talk. I had to save me from goin' crazy on them posts in a night of time. Where? We had a different plan. Last time we standin' for real. We had a different plan. Yup. What you mean? We just weren't there for that. They don't understand that shit, though. You know what I mean? If you're like, man, you should have won. I was like, you don't kinda get how it goes. Right. He was really on survival that year. Yeah, we were. Y'all had challenges. Oh, let's try it. Y'all had challenges.  We were gonna turn on each other. And then we didn't even have to.  You had to vote. Yeah. And we never, he never turned on me, but them three crackers on that show, they. Carlos Smill on you. Oh, it was. I remember that. Hell no. I remember that.  And she's like, okay, Carlos. We got to the point where we wanted to go. And this guy.  These niggas, I already, he got a whole commercial. He got a whole commercial. And they kept, he kept telling us too, remember? He lost to the nigga from the Gackle ad.   Right. He already got a network deal. He ain't beat these motherfuckers. Yeah, that's why I'm here.  Bitch, you better get treacherous.  All right, you wanted bad enough? Stab one of your castmates. There are four of you left. There are three knives on the table. That's what we were. How bad do you want it? You hit the bell. Now that's how bad it is. Show what you know. We're gonna pick numbers for knives. Each knife has a number on the back of it. You're the most successful person of that season.  You are. Well, well. He's the most successful person from our season. Don't nobody know who Rodman is anymore. Like, he didn't get anything from there. Yes, he didn't be good, ain't he? No, Rodman was good. I thought he was still on the road. He's still doing it. Rodman. That's what he wanted. Yeah. Rodman, okay. Yeah, yeah. He good. I'm not saying that he's bad. I'm just saying that out of that season, regardless of who was one, two, three, four, five, you were more successful than all of them. Nobody knows who Jimmy Shuber is. Nobody knows who these people are.  He's the best. He's on the greens, bro. Oh man. Shout out to all of them comments who auditioned for Lance Cummings. And wait, let me finish. We don't know what I'm about to say.  Now you're down their band.  Like the first round, we had a hundred motherfuckers. Oh my goodness.  Give me an example. Just shock humor. Okay.     What's to make the crowd go, oh my gosh. Got into it with Roseanne. He told Russell he was a hack. Remember that? Yep. What? Russell Pena. I think I remember that. There's judges. There's judges. Oh, a few of those comedians. I remember that. A few of them custom to judges out. Yeah.  Oh, really, Roseanne?  Exactly.  Yeah. Comedy game treacherous, dawg.    Oh, man.   As a challenge? Yeah. The Scooby Doo Band, what was that? The Mystery Machine?  Yeah, it was like. After a while it just wasn't funny anymore. Six in the morning.  I don't think it wasn't funny anymore. Nigga, you ever woke up with J.B. Smoove in your room telling jokes? He said what?   And he would bust in the door, like he would just bust in the door. Yeah. He was the host, yo. Because I had Anthony just for life. J.B. Smoove, then? Oh, he got a key.  That's a wake-up call. That's crazy, nigga. J.B. Smoove got a key to your hotel room, to you and that sleep, that nigga. He bustin' in them jokes. That was his thing, like every single time we had, especially when they were eliminating people, he would just bust in the door just to make us more anxious. That's his hope, and he would slide in the room. It was.   All the night comments. Yes. You might fry some fish.  Yeah. And that gold. And that gold. And that gold. All right, I had to tell the truth, though.  What's funnier than watching J.B. Smoove read off the prompter? Oh, yes, sir. And then he would be in there forever. There was a pause. He would do a sentence and a pause. Chicken, chicken, chicken. Chicken soup. These are all things. The communities is on the road. But tonight, we're going to make a road. Take a look at that. Big potato. Big potato. Man, we used to be in that big crying last night. That's some of the most fun I ever had, though, man. Chicken potato. What? Right in the cell. Oh. Oh. Oh. Or J.B. Smoove funny is.    He might fight for fish. He might fight for chicken. He might fight for chicken. He might fight for chicken. He's reading them chicken tonight. Tonight, one of your asses is going home.  He was out. He was out. Assed?   One of these asses won't be here tomorrow.   You're going to be fit home. That is for him. Tonight.  I know.      They make you think you really leave it.  Yeah, they make you go to therapy. When you get eliminated, you go to the room and it's a psychiatrist. Everybody, are you okay? You okay? Damn.  I won, but I ain't never go. I don't want to go to see somebody. I needed some therapy.  You only make it. I didn't make it. They didn't even tell us though. It's the end of the world with me back.  I can't go back home.  I can't tell you about it. Make it back. You ain't going to look at me. It's a failure. I'm not like this. I'm for the gold man. Don't do it, man. I got to go back. Me, me, you. Chicken with David. Tell him. Tell him the truth. Crack it. 100 bucks. Chicken wing from club. 10 years too. But tonight one of your asses is going home.  No matter who asses.  I'll be here. That's what he did. Oh, he won though? No, he won. Jamie's won. He won. He won. He won. He was like, ate a booboo. You got to go home.  Come on. I'm trying to write some jokes. He was busting out, bro. So he was like a counselor. He was the host. You're going to be a tour guide. You want to make it in the business? You want to see if you really got what it takes. You want to see what it takes? You want to see what it takes or do you have what it... He tried to get it himself. Do you think you have what it might take to get it? It might take to get it. Man, I used to be in that motherfucker's tears just rolling down.   How many comments did you start out with? 100. Shit. We went down to 28. A hundred? Then what? 50. But our era was 28. Yeah, it go 150, then 20. Then I think we did like 30. Then it's 10. Yeah, it was one. Yeah. Yeah. Read your contracts, people. Yes. We think he going over 10. Read your contracts. 100 niggas. Read. The contract.    Y'all don't want to miss it, man. The return of the ghetto legends. So please. Please. Get your ticket at the85southshow.com right now. You don't want to miss Augusta Georgia. July 7th. Be there. Please. Don't meet me there. Beat me there. Yeah, it is. Balls in your face. What's up, y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's your girl, Joanna Cole. And we outside this summer. Y'all know what time it is. It's tour time. I'm so excited for the tour. And we are going to the number one and number two requested places that everybody been asking us to go. And you already know who on the list first, Atlanta. Atlanta, Houston, Dallas, Columbia, Birmingham, Chicago, New York. Y'all, we are outside. When I tell y'all this show, we have a lot of special guests coming. Y'all just going to be blown away. It's going to be so much fun. Let me tell y'all how to know when you're drunk. I don't know that. But if you start talking like crazy. So make sure y'all get your tickets right now. Go to poorminds.com. Y'all don't want to miss out. And you never know we might ask some more days. Oh, we definitely going to ask some more days now. So let us know if it's the city that we missing and y'all wants to come to. And y'all know they going to sell out. So don't be asking us when y'all going to come back. Get y'all tickets right now. Poorminds.com. We'll see y'all this summer. Blinking about y'all. Okay, they said y'all did. Y'all made enough noise the way y'all got people paid. I wonder who's that one? No, they didn't. The first thing I had to do was ask for food by my chick. Anybody in the game who know that. So what happened? What happened? What did they tell you? They were going to say money. You'll get your money three months from now. You told them not to miss the city. Hey, when I got through talking to them people, what did they say? Everyone, could you come downstairs and get your per diem? Yeah. They went and got their envelopes and had that lady right there make you sign your name. I'm talking about this. The first couple of times there was some money in an envelope.    I was like, damn, like. That was boot camp before y'all got there.  The contract was so crazy, right? They felt like, okay, since you're on this show, you can't go work none of these other shows in LA. This was all the comedy.   No net. So it's like, they want you to stay out here as long as you're on the show, right? But they're not going to pay you until you leave. You're living in the hotel.  They don't already, these comedians now, they want $500 every week for the deposit. So when they get your card number, it's a $500 hold, then a $500 deposit. They didn't tell you that it's $1,000 a week then just for your security deposit. You ain't paying for the room though. How long did the competition? How long did you stay there? That's the part they ain't paying for the room. They room paid for this, the security. They paying for your room. You can go incidental fee. They got incidental fee. $1,000 incidental fee. $2,000. Because maybe you don't even stay there. It's $500 every couple. It's a $500 hold. Right. But if you stay there another week, it's another $500 hold. Right.  Business days too. And you got credit card. Hey, my boy. I know. I made my per diem. Hey man, it's just so much fad print in this industry that nobody mentioned man. It was abusive. It was abusive. And then they just, it's so many motherfuckers that they just like, okay, somebody can be next.   No, that's the thing about it. They don't even do reality shows like that. It do. People would change. You know what I'm saying? Right. Put y'all in the house.  Well, they didn't put us in the house. Okay. But y'all had to do challenges every day. Yeah, we had to turn on each other. You said it had turned into survivors. And it was.    It was that thousand dollars. That was the last thousand dollars.  They had, they had conspiracies going. Like, there was the real going on. They were trying to turn on us, talking about. Man, they were figuring out what they can do to fucking. To make a TV show instead of making drama. To make drama.  Help comedies go at it. The first rally in the company TV show. They move us. Help me. I got you. You look out for me. I want to look out for you. They tried to get him to turn on me and he was on camera. He said, I ain't turning on her. That's my baby. That's the quote. He never turned on me.  That's what they said. Yes, it was bad. It was bad. They were like, man, do some jokes. And they were 20. They have been doing stand up for 25 years.  I knew, man, when motherfuckers like, I got, I'm booked. I'm booked.  I was like, man, it was like this though. It was like, okay, we shoot a segment, right? Then they're probably supposed to do an interview, right? You remember, everybody was supposed to do an interview. So say for instance, they're like, all right, I had to go do her interview.   Then they'll bring another motherfucker. And they might be up there for two hours. So now you been in this van. It's dark in the motherfucking images. Like, all right, send them back to the hotel.  What is this?  Yeah.  They might ask you one question.  You had fun? All right. See you tomorrow, man. You out early day for you, huh? Yep. Then you get back to the hotel. These motherfuckers come in two and three o'clock in the morning. I'm like, man, we had to shoot the other part. What other part? What is y'all, what are they doing? Y'all probably doing it tomorrow. Drama. He was a squid guy. So they were like, y'all are going to have a competition. But this is a real comedy. No, I'm telling you, it's like, some motherfuckers is really on the competition. These other motherfuckers, they don't cut a sad deal with cheap money. They're a reality show. They do the reality show part. That's why it's... I hope you got the jets. Oh, man. Bruh, these motherfuckers might be doing a... They got a whole other thing set up just for them. This whole date about them, everything else just... Yep. Damn. That's the interesting for your head, but read that fine print.  Right. To make it look like it's a real competition. They made me the bad person because the white dude said I was the Amorosa. Damn!  I was not... Did I start anything? I just was not about to let them write that. What are you trying to do? He was trying to boss us all around. We had to do these sketches. He just became our boss. And he was trying to tell us what to do. He was disrespectful. It would have been one of them days. But every time the camera goes off...  I'm just like, I'm sorry, man. I just... I'm not... Bruh, it's just... You don't understand, man. It's like...  Like, when I was five, my dad... Did they even add a shit? My dad pushed me off the boat. No, they wrote it. But when he was on camera, what would he do? He said he'd push them off the boat. I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I'm probably just gonna win because I'm a better comedian than all of you guys. That's on camera. That's what he was saying to us. It's like... I don't even understand why you guys are, like, on here. Yep. Because it's like... My type of comedy is so smart. Yep. If people don't like it, they're just dumb. Yeah? Oh, yes.    You will see. Yeah. It's okay. I'm smart. You anyway. Yeah, man. And still lost. Still lost. I don't want to see what he's saying when he got it. No way. I guess everybody was... I don't know where he's at. Right on.   Oh, well, I just... Oh, well, I just... I love the comedy and the camaraderie of the comedy game. And as soon as that motherfucker could be by himself, I can't stand these people. I think every last one of them are just... I think they're terrible. Mm-hmm. So this was the first reality TV show ever. No, this is... This is... Yeah. They never told me. They never told me. Did they air it? Yes, they did. Oh, this was old TV. They didn't air all the drama, but they aired the show. That's what I'm saying. They tried to get, like...  They'll find whatever piss you off and try to make a whole day about that just so they could get your reaction to it. Right. Right. Like, when I...   That's all they gave me. I would just order them food every day. Like, I ain't...  They were giving it to you. Every time they said you didn't want that. We would come to that bitch, it would be... Stuffed mushrooms. Ugh.  Like, quiche salad.    Why? Because we're having chicken.   You should eat the day we're having chicken. Then the fucking... I will tell you then the next thing you know. These motherfuckers will send somebody over there. Carlos, come here, bro. Yep. Is everything cool? Yeah. You think, Chris? Yeah. You said you totally chewed them out today. Yeah. So it's like, is it cool if I bring Chris over here? Yeah. Because, Chris, come here, bro. Yeah. Should Carlos have something earlier? Is there anything you want to say to him? Is there anything you want to say? Yeah. So if we do this show, nothing's going to happen. Good? All right, good. I like that Jerry thing. Could you... Now they're leaving. Come back ten minutes later. Carlos, listen. Can you sign this just saying that you're cool with working with Chris? Yep. I'm not signing it. Cool, cool. I feel you, bro. I feel you.  Carlos. Bro, we can't let you film anything else until you sign. Bro, it's just... It's damn, bro. You know, I know. But she was there.  Yep, he was crying. They still... Hey, man. Carlos, on camera, your energy is really low. Yeah? It's really low. Yeah. So it's...  Carlos, come here. Catch you. Yeah. Your hoodie, your hoodie. It's so dark on camera. Yeah. Could we get you to put, like... Can we get you to put this on? Yeah.  These motherfuckers that went shopping for everybody before... the night before.  It's literally...  Gucci and Prada and the...  Nigga, my rat, literally this is... Bro, that's a cold factor. Oh, the Gucci and Prada was with JB. You remember the shit?  And then when we bought our own clothes, they were like, you sure you want to wear that? Every time you bought your own clothes, they were like... Yeah. Well, tonight for the setting, it'll work, but we may have to dye it green. So we may have to dye it. I'm sorry. People understand, don't sit.   You know what? I got to see it. Somebody got to see it. Those reality producers are the devil. They are the devil. Oh, they're what I...  What are they? Piece of... Piece of... I'm telling you.  And you know what they did to me? What's that? They took my set and cut it up, cut it up to like a minute and a half, and they would air it. And I made it to the top 10, so everybody was like, she made it to the top 10 on this bullshit because they would not air my whole set.  Try to make it look like they... Why didn't you show your whole set? They just didn't get it real. There's no reason. You don't understand.  That's the thing about it. They have their people. What are you talking about? They have their people for whatever they say is just TV magic. They're going to play their whole time. They're going to get their motherfuckers in the dressing room. I'm so nervous. I don't know what to do. This is the whole episode.   That's crazy. You know that one in their life.  He basically hit on me on camera.   The one out of everything they had.    Oh, shoot. We went to the rap party. Roseanne pulled up on me with the biggest bag of weed. It was like, roll us up something champ. Mm-hmm. But they had her on camera looking like this. She was crazy.  Oh, let's do this. Man, we got a very special guest in the house with us today. We got a very funny lady, man.  What year was that? 2014. Since Elise. Yeah. Very funny lady, she got about it.  Fighting words. Tiffany Haddish, she ready? Come on. Mastery of comedy. Mastery of comedy. I'm on there too.  Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Ida Rodriguez. Ida Rodriguez. Welcome to the trap. You ain't here with the hood today? Yeah. That's so funny. It's so funny because you know where I come from? Yeah. Where? Miami. What part? Liberty City. Liberty City? Oh, yeah, okay. I grew up in the central part of Miami. My mom lives in Liberty City. I grew up between Liberty City and Overtown. Okay. I thought you were going to say something like Park and Beans, but... Well, the Park and Beans are Liberty City. See, that's what I'm saying, but... I don't live there, though. No. I lived in a regular building, but it might as well have been. There's an R&B group called Liberty City back in the day. I used to rob a good lady. Who? There's an R&B group called Liberty City back in the day. I was from down there. They got a song called Who You Love It Now.  You know what I'm talking about? She go out. She go listen to music? No, back then. No, he was thinking Aquiat earlier. He was thinking one of the hood, hood, hood, hood girls before. I thought he was musically inclined. Yeah, he was. I'm doing it. I will always be there for you. There are the song they sample. Yeah, you ain't twin sample with a... Bedroom. Bedroom moment. Yeah. I didn't even find all that music. I just be listening.  That's it. It's listening. Look at what he's like to me. I called a contact high. All right. I know. I've been here for a while. Who keychain? Yeah, we were. They don't keychain. For your old nigga, man. No, I got too many calls. I'd never be able to figure out. But they keychain right there. But they never my first keychain. It'll be like... Yeah. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one. Number one.  Who? This nigga's truck. This nigga's a shrapagin' when he call. He be actin' like he don't get a call. You got a ram, right? What you got? Pitch 800. Learn me. What you want? You got the uh... I love those guys. You got the uh... The T-Ray moment. Yeah, it's big like that.  So I got a question for y'all. Okay. When I was coming here, everybody was like, be careful. Atlanta is dangerous. It is. It is. Everywhere is dangerous. Right. They're wrong.  No, they's robin' people.  She like that. They're robin' people on Melrose. They say Melrose. They like Beverly Hills. That's what I'm sayin'.   Motherfuckers are still you're coatin' your shirt. No.  These fans.  No, no. They stole somebody's shoes off of their feet on Melrose a couple of weeks ago. I believe it.  I've seen a nigga took a nigga girl from him. Literally. Come here. She went with him. Give me your number.   That's still your food out the car. Oh, that makes somebody hungry.    You have to be shot out of the hood. You walk up to your car coming out the gas station and pay for your gas.  Eat your wings. I just got two. You killed the right boy. I wasn't gonna take the whole thing. Oh, boy. These ain't yours. We stole a lot of wood from this. This ain't yours. No, this is... No. No, but you're straight, though. No, I'm not worried. Yeah. You just gotta act like you from down here. That's the whole thing. Like, we can't even tell you who from down here. Welcome to Florida State. And I used to be... My baby daddy is from Griffin. Oh, from Griffin. Oh, yeah. You got country in you. What's up? Literally. You got country. Griffin, you're a... Ain't nothing but the sun and the dirt. Yep. You caught it. But what was the idea? What made you get into comedy? You know what I mean? I always wanted to do it. Really? Yeah, you know, I'm not one of those on comedians. Like, people never believe I'm a comic until they see me on stage. But I've always wanted to do comedy. I love Richard Pryor. When I was little, I used to watch him. And I always said I wanted to do it. And when I got to L.A., Chris Spencer pushed me on stage. And it was like, you were a comic. That's the OG too. And then, you know, my mentor is Corey Holcomb. That's the day. That's the OG right here. That's Chris. So, he likes Carlos. He thinks Carlos is funny. That nigga, Corey, is one of the funniest niggas ever.  I'd be like, I want to see him do it. Because I know he's been amazing. I love when he's been amazing.   Yeah, he walks people all the time. It's interesting to watch who gets mad at what Corey says. He had a fight with audience members in DC. In DC, I remember that. Yeah, they got mad at him. Jesus was a side baby joke. And they got upset. And they ended up in a fight. I love watching that. He's brilliant though. He's one of my favorite comedians. Yeah, he always been one of them ones that can just like... He can tell a joke, but he can tell it. Captivated. What?   This is the thing about Corey too though, man. It's like people watch the jokes and they just see like... They get this perception of him. But Corey was one of the most humble, realest-nigger, depth-wood that you will ever come in. And you're like, don't nobody ever say that about these niggas. Yeah, he is a good person. All the way. He's the first person that ever paid me to do a show. First person that ever put me on a plane to do comedy. First person that ever paid me over $100 to tell a joke. It was Corey Hopper, man. It took me out there to Addison and Pryde with him. Let me open up for him. Shout out to the OG, man.  Yeah, he will laugh. He'll laugh at it though.  Yeah, he'll be like, stop. What about all that good shit? One of the most interesting things to watch about Corey is that you'll see him go up after all these comedians who are up here. Uh-huh. And he'll get on a plane. And he'll get on the stage and just stand there with his drink and bring everybody to him. Perfect. No, he don't ever raise his voice. He does not ever get excitable. He's so brilliant. It's really awesome to watch him. Y'all want me to come up here and do all they've got there? Yeah. Give it up for the ladies.  Yeah, he's... So my comedy is very confrontational and he feeds that.  You can go further. You can go uglier. Because he said they don't expect that from you. So take it there. And I think that it's created a monster now because now I'm really confrontational on stage. And now people walk out of my shows and that feels good. Because Paul Mooney used to tell me until a motherfucker walked out to a show, you're not a real comedy. Yeah. I mean, I've never had the pleasure of punching somebody in the face. I mean, I know. I mean, I had a win for Camille's everywhere. And I was like, yeah, she got to do the ultimate. Cleen always talking to me out of... Well, Cleen.  You said what? I said, every time I wanted to hit a motherfucker, you be like, man, come on. It's not worth it. Cleen, let me call.  And I see the niggas they came with and they nodding and they do it.  I don't know. It's going to make me feel better eventually. Look out. Some point. Some point. Because these niggas have been a tell-tale. Yeah. They don't think it's a tell-tale. They don't think it's a tell-tale. They don't think it's a tell-tale. They're shooting this suit. Look at what. Take a look at him. Shoot this suit. When the niggas laid out after the fact, the niggas, he been fine until you leave and he laid out.  It's like Brisa Key, you said. Hello. And not to hit your threshold. I'd like to call it an assault. If you attacked me, I would be forced to defend myself. What's the grass you? What are you going to call it? I'd like to call it an assault. Then he can lay it down like he was on the roof. He's screaming for no reason. Ow! Ow! He's got a room! He's got a room. I want to call it an assault. He hit me. Oh my God. Smile when you laugh.    Man, you getting sued, man. Bro, that's why I was glad that Cardi B wanted that lawsuit. Because now it's like, my workers keep suing you and then they end up getting sued. They don't know court fees and lawyer fees.  You trying to sue me because you got your hands on me. Wait a minute.  It ain't good. It ain't good. It ain't good like you said it was. Yes, I did. What's the verdict? It ain't better. It depends on what we got it for. Three $0s, I already made it. And I ate two halves, which was a whole piece. So technically, I did. You see how he did all that?  That looked like pieces that kids don't like done. What's up? You want an earl? Exactly. We'll end up earling.    I'm trying to take that. That's the bite that's going to do it.  Turn my EA two halves.   It's got a spongebob. That piece that they had in 1994.  It's sad where we got a goldware.   It's not good. It's delicious. It's delicious. I think I should take another bite.  You put it down.  You got to keep taking bites.    I had three Dumbledore pieces already, buddy. It don't matter.  What you want me to do? I thought that was the best. I ain't got pieces already.  I'm full. Dumbledore pieces made with real ingredients.  They don't have ingredients. Nigga, they got toppings. No toppings. Domino's got ingredients, nigga. I thought ingredients went inside. Nope. Anything could be ingredients, nigga. No, ingredients is what make up the sauce. No, no. It's all here. Yo, we want it. We want it. We want it, guys. You want a piece of it? You know? Get a cup of it. No. You two have it. Put these bluffs out for the next 15 minutes. I'm scared. Yo, I had a real hash. You're going to start speaking Spanish now. A little bit, bro. I want to hear it. I'm there. We'll be cool. You need to speak Spanish. I do. What if she did the rest of this interview in Spanish? We need that.  Come on, say you have my mom. Come on, you have my wife. What do you want me to say in Spanish? Shit, you said too much. No, I'm not. I thought you were going to give me your name. No, no, no. They put a really Spanish name. How you say DC didn't really like that piece of hers? DC no le gustola pisa.  No, no, my man. It was delicious. Delicious your soul. DC's your soul. That's too funny. I think I should just have another bite of pizza. I always hear people say, you know, talk about the struggle between female comedian and how difficult it is in the game.  Yeah, it is about three different minorities. Well, you know what? Yes, yes, but I think when you come from where I come from, nothing is going to keep me from going where I got to go. So I've had people, you know, say the only way, the only way I could go on the road with them is if I stayed in their room with them.  And when I'm like, no, I have to fly myself home. But I'm better than them in comedy. So I'm, you know, I'm good. You're better than human beings, too, don't you? Yeah, yeah, but it happens all the time.  And I can't be a victim in comedy. It's just, it's not going to change overnight and it's not going to change for me. So what Corey told me was, write better than them.  It doesn't matter. You're going to always, now they call me and ask me if they can open for me. The same dudes. Yes, one of them. Oh, yeah. You think you got a little, you got a smith in the car. I know what you're looking for. You know how to do a skit. You know how to do a skit. That's an old dude. An old dude. Let me do a little skit, Corey. You got five minutes. You got a little skit. I just want to put you in a skit. Hey, I got this joke for you. Oh, my God. That's the life of a woman comedian is everybody got a joke for you. Let me write for you. Let me tell you how to do this. You should say this all the time. Because men that are like that want you to perform per their perception. They want you to be who they want you to be as a woman and not as a comedian. And it happens all the time. But to me, the hottest pen will always win. It's all about just writing. Let's go. Let's go.  So don't forget them off. I could be funny. And I ghost write for some comedians that I'm in. So I know that I'm a good writer. So what's your thinking process of writing? Because that's what I'm in the game at. And now I'm like, I want to go back to the drawing board. And I want to sit down.  I want to go write. Get it together all over again. What story you want to tell? When you prepare, for me, every set is a story. And you feed the story with the jokes. But what is it that you're trying to say?  The expectation of you is not. Because you have visibility. You have fame already. You know, you batch stuff. You got to prove yourself more.  So you've got to come back and say, this is a story I've got to tell. Where are you from? It's very important. Because a lot of people don't know really where you're from. You just emerged and became this sensation that everybody became fascinated with. But they don't know your backstory.  They know you come from somewhere real. They should know about that. And so for me, I think personally I would start with origin story because I think it's important for people to understand where you come from because then they understand why you think the way you think. And like where I come from, I grew up on wig food stamps.  I think those people- The enemy just made me want some king vitamin. Ooh! Yes! With the little cars and milk. The kicks and couples. Those people deserve their stories to be told. And when we get in this comedy game around these white people, they'll start saying oh that's that ghetto comedy. That's that urban comedy. That's why you gotta write some jokes for the white people too, man. You gotta go into the whole- So what? You know what I mean? As a writer, do you think- Which one do you enjoy more? I was actually doing- I was with my co-stress this morning and I was going up and just seeing what you can come up with on stage. Like- I do both. I enjoy it like you said when we met in LA or when you saw- Oh my God, you went on that stage in the belly room. And just went in on all the comedians. Yeah, you know what I mean? For me that was what happened when I walked in- And dressed nice. When I walked in nobody spoke to me. Except for one dude and he knew I would have said something to him if he didn't speak to me but I wasn't tripping off everybody else. But that's what I was talking about because when I got on stage everybody was like oh Jiko, man, nice to meet you.  They couldn't remember you. Like- So competitive. Yeah. You were in LA too. Yeah. All the way. I was in the belly room. Then she go- Choco. Yeah. Cocoa Loan. That's Cocoa Bean I think his name is. Yeah, it's Cocoa Bean. Lime and Dean. Thank you. Just being out there that's what I always said. Hey, Beanie Beenerson. Aren't you? I have a theory. Beanie Beenerson. Beanie Beenerson. Beanie Beenerson. Most people that you meet in the LA area are hungry. It's literally- It's my theory. Physically hungry. Not hungry for success. Hungry for a meal. I ain't eat today. It's a lot of I ain't eat today. You can't get caught up in the mix. You have to go out there and work. But it's hard when you're in the entertainment industry because you go out there. It's hard when you're still in LA. I mean that's what I'm talking about. Out there specifically. Corey, speaking of Corey. He was one of the dudes that gave me the game. We were staying out in front of Worcester Club that's right by the Roscos. The comedy. Oh, the comedy union. Yeah.  Of course. And you know I'm just out there just waiting to go. I was going to audition for something to do say something to me and I just kind of brush it off and another comedian was like oh, you just going to the nigga talk about you like that?  Corey came up as that was happening and pulled me to the side and said let me tell you something about out here man. Let these niggas just talk. He said because once it's over if you stay long enough you go see a nigga looking around and just start walking down the street. He said his niggas ain't got no friends out here man. You know what I mean?  Do your thing.   Just walk off. Yeah. Don't even say nothing. Yeah. Just walk down the street. Competing for one spot because they have let these white people convince them that there's only one spot at the top. And if you understand economics then you know that that's not the case. You know that if there is an Amy Schumer and a Whitney Cummings and a Nikki Glazer I don't know. But they're all eating right? They're all making money and there's room for all of them just like there was a Dane Cook and I mean there are multiple white comedians who make money but they've convinced the people of color to believe. It's only one time. There's only one. I gotta fight each other. And then everybody else is scrapping at the bottom instead of focusing on how, what you did. He left last comic standing. He created a following. He made a mark at the clubs and people were, he's undeniable. So it doesn't matter like, it doesn't matter what they say. They know when he goes to a club people are going to be in the seats. But people are not focused on that. They're so busy trying to topple each other and be everybody else instead of being themselves and everybody's miserable because if you think there's only room for one person at the top you're going to be miserable all day long because Kevin Hart ain't going nowhere no time soon. You know what I'm saying? You wait for a follow up. I'm an artist. I have no desire to ascend into celebrity culture. They goofy to me because of where I come from loyalty is more important than love.  Me and him bonded during last comic standing and it was me and him against the world because I don't come from that. I'm a true artist. All I want to do is create and for me, God always takes care of me. I'm always fine. I'm never struggling. I'm never... But I don't participate in that. For me it's just about the art the integrity of the art because if you're good they will come. You know what I'm saying? Clayton knows. Clayton is one of those people that those white comedians be like he's really smart like he's really funny. Like they love to... But they wouldn't say that about everybody.  Yeah, they do that too. He's not supposed to know that. How did you know? Yeah. How did you find that book? Little bitch, what you mean?   Yeah.  Encyclopedia.  Yeah. Like that Slumdog Millionaire. I just know the right answers at the right time, sometimes. Yeah.  But it doesn't matter where we come from, we're just as smart as anybody else and we're still here.   Like that's so not us, bro. But whatever.  Dude, we have nothing to do with education, bro. It's just so not us, bro. Like we're in charge of like racism and that's it, bro. Like all these other industries. These industries about racism and that's it, bro. That's capitalism. We don't even like it, bro. Racism is bad, but you like it as you like it. Capitalism is like racism. On steroids. Yeah. It's racism. It's not me, bro. It's the same white people holding me back too, man.  I mean, I'm white, but I'm not like white. White. But that's true though. But those people don't know it. Man. Like that's the truth. That's actually facts, but they don't know that they're being held by the same people that are holding us down. It's the same. Because they think that one day the white, the right white people gonna see them and be like, dude, you're not in yet? Why didn't you say so? Yeah. We thought we were doing a, you mean a temperature of poor white people ever? Yeah. This is injustice. We can't stand this.  We're waiting for you to come along. Dude, you're not in yet. You should have said that at the convention.  They were supposed to distribute it, but they just kept all the money. They probably could. They're the hot niggas here. Like what if they always picked just one nigga that everybody would like and be like, make him a billionaire. See if he helps his people. Ah. You don't think that already happened? They'd rather keep them scored. We're up and we're summing it up. I mean, we've given the resources away. We're going to give what they give to each other. Maybe gave it to them right here. They gave it to nobody who all the way to one. Absolutely, because we got them. What if they gave all the reparations to Oprah and she was supposed to pass them out. In Tyler Perry, what if they gave it? I'm like, all right. OK. Oprah, come to the bed. OK, OK. Tyler Perry Tyler Perry He gon' do the right thing. He gon' do it with a little bit! He did a little bit. He bought that studio deal. We got Claymore there.  This nigga went home to school. Did he know it? Did he know it? Shoot, we're supposed to do it.  Did he do it? What did he do? Did he do it? Did he do it? What did he do? Roy Mayweather. What? My brother did it. He did it in the school in Africa. They don't count. We just don't see it. They don't count. They do? No, they don't. Maybe that's the thing. They don't count. Maybe the rule is you can spend as much of this money as you want to on your people. We just can't nobody ever find out about it. We see, we need JZ because he political.  But LeBron's not a billionaire. So keep it out of the table. LeBron's a billionaire? Yeah, yeah. He will be. He's close. He's not a lot. He's got a lot of time to contract. He's got a lot of time. I know that's not going to lie, just because it's not being televised. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.  What if they're doing some shit? They're going to do GK. That's crazy. A little bit by a little bit, they're scared to do something major all at once. Of course. I mean, anybody who comes for capitalism in America gets murdered. Yep. Right. Because you know Martin Luther King was fine until he started talking about capitalism. That's when they killed him. God damn, I shouldn't have never brought it up. Fred Hammond, you know, he was 21 and they killed him because he knew exactly what the problem was and they took him out early before he even became. So, that's the problem. You could talk about, you could talk about racism your whole life. Look, Jesse Jackson is still alive. But the minute you start talking about their money, that's when they come for you. Probably a phone that rings somewhere with a white man. Hello, Martin. What do you say? Hello? Is it who? Don't drink Coca-Cola. We're on the way. Who's the thing that's going to drink then? No, man. What? What's your favorite place to perform? New York. What? The audiences are not forgiving. If you're not funny, they will let you know.  I like performing in places where there's balance. I don't like performing where there's all white people. There has to be us because we don't laugh easy. But if we laugh, we laugh for real. Yeah. You know, white people will be like, oh, that's funny. That's so clever. But that's not a laugh. I want to see you laugh. Ha! Do another one. Tons of people take some kind of multivitamin and it's important to choose one with high quality ingredients that your body will actually absorb. Right now it's time to reclaim your health and arm your immune system with convenient daily nutrition. It's just one scoop and a cup of water every day. That's it. No need for a million different pills and supplements to look out for your health. To make it easy, Athletic Greens is going to give you a free one year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and five free travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is visit at letitgreens.com slash 85 South. Again, that is at letitgreens.com 85 South and take ownership over your health and pick up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance. Applause ain't laughs. Yes. Applause is not even a laugh. It's identification of something clever. All right. Yeah.  I be like, that's not what I want. That's the standard I want.  That's what I feel like. Yeah, but it ain't always better when you get a clap.  But I'm saying that. But he's saying, give it up for the troops. Oh, yeah. I'm saying that. That's like one of them jokes that you can tell that were funny to somebody and then they enjoyed that joke. They were like, whoo! Yeah. Yeah. You don't call a cup of love. Yeah, I know. Absolutely. But. Not just claps. The claps without the laugh is. Those are performance claps. That's good.  Oh my God. That was so good. I never saw it coming. It tricked me. Right. Where does that voice come from? I don't know. I do a lot of voices. The last time I was standing, applause breaks were hilarious. I know. Because those were the weirdest people, man. They was just bringing me out of the bus. They were laughing around the weirdest times. Them people. What you mean, man? Good night, everybody. Because these were some different kinds of drinks. These are why people drink milk for dinner. Yeah. There were parts of my jokes where people would laugh and I would be like, that's funny. I didn't know that. That was not the punchline. Yeah. But it was. They were laughing at the way I looked. Did you really say it?    We say dog. We say a dog. Yeah. He called a dog. Did you really say it? He said ketchup. We say ketchup. He said ketchup. Hey, Carlos, you won't smoke. Ketchup. What did you call it? What did you call it? What did you call it? We call it ketchup. The animal. What did you call it? Oh, he said it's a dog. We say dog, right? Dog. Dog. We all say dog. Say it again. Dog. Hey, what's up, it's me, Carlos Millan. I'm here to tell you that. 45 South Shore is coming to Savannah, Georgia. July the 3rd. That's right. Get on, ladies. Unfinished business tour. She keeps smiling at me, showing me them guns and licking her tongue out. Oh, auntie. Hell nah, auntie. Me, Chico, DC, the whole gang. Get tickets at 85SouthShow.com. That's right. 85SouthShow.com. That's where the tickets are. So that's where you need to be. Let me say it again. The 85 South Show is coming to Savannah, Georgia. July the 3rd. You know I'm going to lose me. Get the tickets. Get the website. 85SouthShow.com. That's why I've been looking at some of the flyers for the LA shows. And I be like, this is...  They got everybody you can think of on these damn flyers. Oh my gosh, the flyers.  And they going to, people going to watch the show. Oh my God. Well, right now, because everything was locked down, so now everybody's clamoring for comedy because they need to find out that... It's just the five of the most random as people you can think of. They were trying to do diversity, right?  Everything don't need to be diverse. But that's what happened. They would do...    But the shows would not have a... Well, we want to carry it to everybody not coming to the show. That's the thing about diversity. You can accommodate for motherfuckers who are not there. Just in case. Right. Well, put funny first. That's why I like this side. This side of the country just feel like it's funny first. On the east coast to south. Like, if you're funny, you're going to get put on to something. Somebody else. It's easier to tool on the east coast. Out there, they don't care about funny. They want to know what else you got going on. What you doing? How hot is y'all right now? They script you to roll. But that's just not late though. Can you see them? Can you see them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go to San Francisco. San Francisco is a good comedy market.  See, that's the thing about comedy though.   Yeah. It's supposed to be different. And it's like, you can't be catering to what you think comedy is, bro. That's what makes the show dope. It's like, everybody don't need to be on the same.  I wrote this. I wrote this. Look how good I can remember.  It's like, if you watch a comedy show, nigga, all these motherfuckers who come up there are supposed to be different in some aspect. And it's like, we losing the nuances of comedy, bro.  Motherfuckers don't tell jokes from the side no more.   But you know, it's not real. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like you see them embodying somebody else. Right. And that's why they, you know, like, I'ma be me. I don't have to be anybody else. I don't have to walk around tap dancing for jokes. It's just not my personality, right? It's just who I am. But I'll see somebody else. And I just saw somebody do me on stage and it was amazing to watch because they weren't getting no laughs and I was like, because you're not being yourself. You can't be me.  You mean actually doing your material? Yeah. No, not doing my material, but doing my style of comedy in a way.  Yeah, I wasn't thinking like that.  Yeah. Like if I could go in the club and I could do a motherfucking rhinoceros joke and I been knowing you ain't got no rhinoceros joke. The next time I see you, you talking about elephants. Yeah. Nigga, you ain't talking about rhinoceros, but Nigga, when you start talking about elephants. Yeah.  Right. Yeah.  Right.  No, it's not. Right. Where you get it from? Right. Right. You know, you already know. And it's just, it doesn't work.   So you can't even start there. Right. And we don't believe you.  No, no, we don't believe, we don't believe you got a man. You got no heart.  You know what I'm saying? So, and then you watch the people do it and it just, it's really sad to watch because you're going to, you're going to burn out because you can't do somebody else for a long time. Eventually you got to, because you're going to follow me around and see what I do all the time. Yeah, that's what, that's what D-Ray told me one time. He said, they always restricted to whatever you think if they doing you.  That's another one who's been doing his, he's been doing him forever. Right. And now everybody caught up to him because at first he was too cute to do comedy or he got the green eyes. I feel like anybody could learn confidence from D-Ray. Oh, absolutely.  Yep. Okay. That's absolutely right. He was the first, he was the first mother to took me on the road besides the OGs when I first got on he was like, come on the road with me.  Woo, woo, woo. And before you know it Tiffany Hatch was on the show with us and six months later she blew.  When I was on, I was on the Shack All-Star Tour and D-Ray was my keeper like D-Ray was be the one to be like, come here because you know what on that tour I had to prove myself because it's Michael Blackson Tony Roberts D-Ray Tommy Davidson and I would be the only woman every week and earthquake and every week I would have to prove myself and they would, they would test me. They would, they haze me and D-Ray would always be the one that was like doing that now since you come from that type of background where people kind of grew on you that you do that with being in LA I know you see so many people that do comedy that you reach out and say, okay I see something and you come here and let me give you some advice to help you out.  Right.    What is it?  Big Titty GD student.   The Big Titty GD student fucks a white man at work.  Yeah, she can still be primitive. Right. It's been, well, I mean, the fascination with it has started during slavery.  Come on, some of them. Who they want to be? Who they want to be? Who they want to be? Who they want to be? And they go to the tanning booth? Like, it's amazing. They want to get their skin darker.   They said she was channeling her inner black woman. What inner black woman? Let that black lady out.  Let her come home.  I don't even think you can say that publicly, to be honest. I was trapped in Kim Kardashian for two years. You'll get crucified in a moment because you're inner Jennifer Aniston.  But it's like nobody wants to channel better.    It's impossible. A lot of people say that, but this is an argument on both sides. I mean, let's just look at what you're talking about. We can be bigots. We can be friends. We can be bigots. We can be friends. We can't be racist.   His folk probably did something to our folk. But leave him alone now, bro. They got to get it every time. You feel him? You be like, bro, you trippin'.  First off, we ain't... When the water pops off, I'm gonna need you to do it.  The people in the woods with the guns.  You know what I'm saying? That was a question.  Like, if I wasn't this directly affected by local racism, what I could have possibly have been exposed to? Back then? Shit, right now. Like, I was born in the 80s, right?  We know this is for a fact. We know this is for a fact. You get what I'm saying?  Like water and flint. At some point of our life, we're going to find out that these things were not good for us in the long term. We didn't find that out. That was so...   We don't know.   Exactly. Washing the type of head last time coming out. 66% of Tesla owners have cancer now. If you are anyone that you love has owned a Tesla from 1999 to 2020, you may be in competition with Large Love Summercash for real. I just heard them folks saying Zantac is on a trip, right? If you took Zantac, I was just glad it was awesome. Nah, they still showing Zantac commercial. If you've ever had an Archdeluck super-sized when it was 39 cents, please call this number immediately. You already know that. Archdeluck with the round bacon? If you ate a McRib from 2005 to 2026, please call this number and contact your local poison center. What was that Canadian bacon on it? Niggi, it wasn't Canadian bacon, it was some hickory bacon, but it was a circle.  Archdeluck's, I don't even remember that one. You don't remember the Archdeluck's? They made a sandwich that was targeted for grown people. Where was that? McDonald's. They had an adult sandwich. It was supposed to be like a quarter-pounder-type Big Mac minus the Mac sauce. It was like an adult sandwich with everything. Not just a ketchup mustard burger, it was like mayo, lettuce, tomato. They had this different, that's when a different bread started. I never ate a McRib sandwich. I ain't no McRib fan, that's this guy. That Michael Jordan sandwich they had. Yeah. What was the Michael Jordan sandwich? I think it was just a quarter-pounder with some bacon and some barbecue sauce.  Give me some bacon and barbecue sauce. If I go to McDonald's, I don't go. You stay at Eat Bowl? If I'm forced to? I eat Bowl. There's no shame in it. You eat Bowl? Yeah, yeah, yeah.    That's the living there rhetorical question. Come here. You eat pork. Well, what? Come here, po-mo. That's because you don't want to eat a knife. Stop eating pork. McDonald's had a rat. What po-bee do you? Hey, what's up? It's Carlos Miller, Memorial Day Just Pass, which means summer is here. If you want to be ready and standing at attention when the time is right, blue chew can help. That's right. This episode is sponsored by Blue Chew. Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra and Seattle's. But in chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost. The process is simple. Sign up at BlueChew.com. Consult with one of the licensed medical providers. And once you approve, you'll receive your prescription within days. You can take them anytime, day or night, so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The best part is all done online, so no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in line at the pharmacy. So if you can benefit from some extra confidence when it's time to perform, Blue Chew can help. And we've got a special deal for all our listeners. Try Blue Chew for free. When you use our promo code 85South at checkout. Just pay $5 shipping. It's BlueChew.com, promo code 85South to receive your first month free. Visit BlueChew.com for more details, for more important safety information. And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast.  What Chris Brown said, pig in the chrome in there. Sam Hill. I can do it. Once I saw a pig, like they don't have no pores. And then all of the fat, all of the secretion comes out of the hooves. I couldn't have seen it again. You know how you do that? You turn the heat up on half. No. I should make my body eat. I can do it. I never even knew about a Michael Jordan sandwich. I remember that.  We're the fast food generation.  What about the hamburger?  Oh, the hamburger?  That's how he had her looking like. The hamburger?  Rubble, rubble. Y'all stop talking about Kanye. Because I told you I got a theory. Kanye West watched this show, man.   Man. What? What do you mean? I had to sing it.  But we on to you, bro. We on to you. They going to have me looking like a tramp, man.  I can't stand in the right time. I know, Cap.  Time machine to get some regular clothes. He got all homeless gear now. I got some regular clothes. Yeah, you're walking around in a jazz band. You know, I want to know what you had on in the documentary. Shelter blanket. He pimping them people. Shelter blanket.  What's the thing about that was a fashion genius. Yeah, he was spitting them in. When they out there, they'll spin anything. You got on the shoes? Yup. I forgot what I was doing. Y'all got them, you know? Oh, yeah, one thing about it. I'm going to support his craze. That's what I was talking about. His homeless clothes. I rethought my whole stance on it. Because I feel like at some point, I'm going to go crazy, too. Okay. And I ain't going to want you all to throw me away when I have my episodes.  I'm going crazy. I'm planning it. You think we can kind of... I'm not going to do that. You know, if I can go crazy, I just don't want you all to turn on me. You sure think that because when you do it, I've been waiting, y'all. No, I want to hit... Who you been saying fuck?    And I just want y'all to be...   I'm like, Tico, clear. Y'all got that wrong.  Nigga, make sure we're straight. Where did that get mad at him from? Or the Donald Trump... I ain't never been mad at him.  That's what I'm saying. I don't want that freedom.  He said slavery wasn't... It was a choice. It was a choice.     We would feel the same way about... Oh, no, absolutely.  Hell, yeah.   But I know that we need them people. See? You know what's even crazier? I do.   Watch me be the only one to get canceled for this. He said it's a bad thing, but not the one that's a dick.   We trust...  I'll just have a look.  He ain't only livin' everything.    Right.  You will see his yoke in Newport. I see you. I see that on the tube. It's okay. That ain't crazy. You see the feeling before you go in. I see that on the tube. I'm here. Bro. And it... As it enters. It's teeth in there. That's true though. It's everybody's hat.  That wasn't even about homosexuality. We're general. No, no. I know what you're talking about, but what I'm saying, they indoctrinate us to be homophobic and then they penalize us for it. And it's like... And it not... When we grew up... It wasn't cool. No.  I know this nigga. We would tell about women. We would tell about ladies. We would tell about ladies. I didn't say people though. He said people. I said people though. I didn't say people though. I don't believe nobody. You're right. I'm about to say...  You ain't saying... You ain't saying nobody. Somebody put it there. It ain't about...  That's everybody, man. You said we need the people. We do. Because I'm not speaking for me, like, not us in this room. The people on the other side who don't put dicks in their mouth. Dick Olas. Niggas these people.  We got to go into this much depth. To make sure. Then we're not offended about it. We was... No, we were gonna do it until they all do it.  Yeah, that's right. We're in that time. We got to be able to talk about it. She said we got all the people. We don't know everything. We got all the people. That's the reality of our community.  All the people who don't. On this side. Whoever on this side. I'm not delving you. But all the people on this side. I know that y'all accept that they do this. We can let y'all know.   Because there are lots of people who do that. And then there are some people who enjoy doing that. Right. And you enjoy... I ain't... I understand.  They can't. I don't know the niggas on the side that accept cookie lips. I wouldn't judge y'all just for eating pussy too.    Anywhere. You saying that now.  And that's exactly the point.     Right.   You were right. Put it on my face. You don't cry.  Yeah, though. But you don't know pussy's other duties. That's a dude.  Man, what is this? I don't like Jesus Christ, Jesus nigga. I think we got about now. Other jobs are the same. I don't like these niggas got me sitting here and talking about pussy's other jobs. Real life. I can't wait to read your comment. The comment is going to be crazy.  She be like... We're not judging nobody. You can't kick shame. No. Right? No, of course not. Do you have a problem with that? Like do you find yourself censoring yourself on stage? Hell no.  No, I'm just asking. I washed it plenty but I'm just saying you don't say that you could say that you know you could like I can take this bitch to the... I'm working on it. Listen, I feel like I looked out. I go back and I rewrite.  Like I was on the breakfast club last week. I said when they asked me about Joe Rogan I said nobody should be able to tell black people what they can be offended by. That's a word that's connected to trauma and pain for black people and I don't think that I as a Puerto Rican person, Puerto Rican Dominican, Afro-Latina whatever you want to call me, I don't have a right to say, hey man don't be, he cool. You should be all right with him saying that because some people did do that. Man, they came from me talking about because I said black, that's one thing that black people own that belongs to them, whether they reappropriate it, whether you want to say it or not is something that only black people should be able to say, right? Because it's connected to their trauma and pain. Oh my God, this lady sent me a sermon.   I just said it's not my place.  Well let me say something to all the black people.   If you think these white people not out here saying niggin' they free time, you get life fucked. That's what I heard someone say, show me a white man that hasn't said the word niggin' and I'll show you a toddler. What's up y'all? It's your girl, Lex P. And it's your girl, Drayna Cole. Now y'all know the for richer for poor tour is going on and we had to come home, Eddie. Had to come home. Yeah. Partly home, but always free. So July 9th, we're going to be at House of Blues y'all. House of Blues. But ain't that crazy y'all? We're at House of Blues and y'all, let me tell y'all something. We have some special guests that are coming to the Houston show. Y'all are not going to want to miss this. It's on performing too. Oh, you know what I'm saying? So the show starts at 8 p.m. So get your tickets right now at poormines.com, the VIP. Y'all know everything is going to sell out. So get y'all tickets right now. Y'all complain if you miss out, because we saw a dream. No kidding. They see it at the crib. Absolutely. And that's the thing that for me it's like where I grew up, everybody said it. Because we were all told that we were all right. My whole family is like with you look at some of my relatives you wouldn't know that they were Puerto Rican.   They're not even black people. We couldn't even take a nice good black people family photo.  I had a whole bunch of old folks in my family. No, they were some small family niggas. Ghetto and project and country. Third road shot. We got a few bougie motherfuckers but they just as terrible as the rest of us. I'm not terrible. My family is all the groups in the motherfuckers man. You know what, do you sense it yourself? There's no point anymore. It doesn't matter what you say you're going to offend somebody.  I do have to speak. I keep in mind the element of the world that we live in today. You got to be understanding that people are a whole lot more soft in regards to what they offended by today than it was 10, 15, 20 years ago. And I think that's just because it's so easy to get everything down. You got all the answers in your pocket. You got everything that you need.    You're still not comfortable with what you do. But if you do a comedy show let's say you go to the improv, right?  So now you're not making fun of black people. You're not making fun of Latinos. You're not making fun of Asians.  You can't say anything about disabled people. All you're going to do is an hour of comedy making fun of white men. No. Every time I've done a show myself and it's been like some disabled people in there they love what you make.   It's a right and wrong way about comedy and that's why it's a right and wrong way about being offended you make them laugh at their trauma you make them know they love.  I don't bet women what does that mean?  Yeah all those Chinese dogs, those Chinese dogs, they used to be food, like the Sharpeys, the Chows. It used to be food for them. That's a great day. That's a great day. That's a great day. The big one. That's a great day? Yeah. What's bigger? Great day or St. Bernard? Great day. Great day is the biggest dog. You talking about a great day here like a hunch in his back? No, the great day. Bro. And what's those big eyes dog? Stick it on the great day and it was a cat. Big eyes dog. And now it's dead. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at that.  Look at that. It's so many breeds of big-ass dogs. What's the one that do that?  Man, they're my husband.  I thought one of those.  See, that's the thing.  Yeah, they got one. What you say? A mastiff. A mastiff, I suppose. He was talking about a Russian dog. A Russian dog. I can't say that. I'm not sure. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He was talking about a Russian dog. There's a Russian dog. See, a cankhis is a.. That'srs a handkerchief. No, that's a Kudos. I know a Kudos, but it's a russian BRID is. That was like the bomb in a bolt. It's like that. It's like some type of shirt. I'ma get me a cankhis, but I'm going to use them just to stud them. But I'm going to get me a black cankis. And I'm going to do his ears.  I'm doing it too well in my life.  A border collie? Lassie? Bro, I grew up watching Lassie in black and white. That's a collie, right?  Nick, you remember Flipper? Yeah. Yo. White people had a head dog for him, man. What about Air Bud? Well, what was he? He was a motor retriever. That can't even be a retriever. You don't see it on the motor. X-Tink. X-Tink? Yes, X-Tink. X-Tink. But not... Yeah.  I saw one today. A golden retriever. A golden retriever. Now they're breeding every day. I wouldn't approve them, Nick.  People don't understand. These are birth defects. A dog and a little pet thigh. That is a stupid-ass doodle. We should get it in the bathroom. They got a pet doodle too? Yeah. We should get some pet doodles. It's called a doodle wilder. We should get some pet doodles. A pet doodle. Sell them to all the niggas in the B-game. Pet doodles. Pet doodles, yeah. There you go. They got to be big, because they poodles bite. They're known to bite. The big ones is good.  Them little dogs aggressive.  They have to tell them by theyself. The Dalmatians have the worst bite. The Dalmatians? And I'm just saying I want me a Dalmatian.       But it's hard. We're like, oh my god. You got to check it out. Look at the pet doodle.  Oh, he looked at it.    That looks bad. He looked like I ain't before you here.   But you know what the French are here, right? Yeah. You know the little dog, the pig, the pulled dog. Pug. The pulled dog. That's on many minutes. The black dog. It's a pulled dog and a master. That a how. Bruh, who hit who? The pulled male hit the master female. Oh, OK. People don't know that French bulldog birthed the fit dogs.  And they just killed him. Yeah, all dogs. And before you know it, they just got to your own breed. Get their genetic modifications with them. I don't know how we got here, but it's interesting. Bruh, it's interesting because you got money, too, though. Like, it's a big meaning. Like, people love animals.  Now, Mastiff and Pug. I'm looking all up at the dogs.   You looked it up? Yes. A French bulldog. The pulled? Yeah. Oh, my God. The one that they put up, Jay. Oh, my goodness. He just looked like a boxer now. You should have just got a boxer almost at that point.  That's crazy. Look, Pug. The box dog. Look how big and small this one. His head's so small. Big and small at the same time. Why would you do that to them dogs? Beetlejuice.  It's a lot of dog. Why would you see it for a while? I wanted you to brought up Beetlejuice because it's like, now looking back, just knowing what that movie was. Man, that dude, Michael Keaton was funny. It's a motherfucking dog. He said that's his favorite movie he did.  He was my favorite Batman. He was my favorite Batman.  Beetlejuice. Out the ghost with the most babe. They're doing another one. Well, that's going to go. I feel that way. That's going to be dope. You remember the Beetlejuice cartoon? Yeah, yeah. I had the Beetlejuice game, man.  That little girl was not of age. Was Lydia and Beetlejuice. She was a teenager. He was a ghost. He was trying to get married. So he was still trying to throw something up. But hey, it's a ghost or not. That was inappropriate, right? He was trying to get married. Yeah, he was trying to marry her. Well known a writer. That's so funny.  He'd be like, yeah, they can get away with that stuff.  Man, so much, so much. It was him, man. I love Lydia. Check this out. She loves me. One of the most popular shows. Motherfucking Mr. Wizard. I remember Mr. Wizard. Old white man. You should just have kids over at his house doing science experiments. Mr. Wizard. He's smart. He should be a little dangerous, too.  Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's standing right next to you. I remember Bill. It always ended up with Mr. Wizard wanting to turn the lights off and show you something. It living color wouldn't be able to, could it be already? I ain't no way. I was watching the living color. The racist realtor. No.  Shit, it's a real racist realtor. I mean, like I'm saying, but the way that they did that sketch, you know what I mean? Men on film, bro, you can't. No. You can't. This is one of my favorite sketches from the latest season of Living Color when Jennifer Lewis was on there. You remember that she was on there at the end? She was a cast member? Yeah. She had this character she used to do when she was the mama, but she was on the phone the whole time. Like she used to be on the phone all day.  She'd be like, but all through the sketch, she'd be on the phone. So even that night, it'll be like her husband here roll over. He was like, baby, that was great. Then she'll just pop up and be on the phone.  She would literally be on the phone all day. Yeah. But Damon Wands, man, on that one.  Handyman. Oh, no. The way he do it. The little lady was his sad kid. The tiny, tiny, um, the tiny Avenger. She was the little, uh, she was a little person. Yeah.   You ain't got nothing. You can't get me, man. Dennis DeVito. You remember that? Oh, the world's strongest woman in the world. That was Jim Carrey. The head detective was funny, man. The head detective was funny. But I don't know who that was on there. Bro, when he flipped him over, had to pun him. Do it. David Allen Greer. 1975 for real. David Allen Greer is one of the funniest people on the planet. Man, that is hilarious. I got a feeling.  David Allen Greer. Oh, gee. The 90s. Oh, yeah. He's over there. Of all the comedians that did guess the person in the 90s on sitcom, David Allen Greer, man. Don't get no better than Slim. Every time you see him on anything, he was hilarious. Where is the guest role? I don't remember. He is moving around. He was more smooth on boomerang. But when they thought that he was bringing the jacket back, he was like, did you think that he wore the jacket and stacked it up to be damned and brought it back? Like, who says that? He is brilliant, y'all. His improvise is magnificent. Well, he was Joe from... What was the principle? Lean on me. Mr. McAfee. Oh, Mr. McAfee, yeah. With the fake shoot. Mc, Mc, McAfee. My favorite. That show used to go so hard every week. That's a good question. If it was any show that, as a comedian, like, if you could have been on any show, what would you have picked to be on a cast member? Oh, you know, it would have been Martin. Martin, me too. I love that show. That's the best show in the world of me, Martin. Timeless, man. So funny. I'd sit right here and watch rerun.  There's a football game back. I don't know why I'm meeting Martin. Everybody, even, like, the smallest characters on there became your favorite comedian. They all did it. You see?        Man, the way she sounds, we got to recognize the artwork and take a einshark shot... Hey, you drunk? I'm on medication. She's that... I'm starting to do... You know, that's what it said. Look, yeah, sometimes I don't even brush my teeth. Hey, you know what? Martin, I don't think people would realize this, but I put this it's a sitcom. But it's actually a sketch show disguised as a sitcom. But you mean... Yeah, All Them Kids It's a sketch comedy show.  Like they going for the funny and the jokes. Martin might play a character at the beginning that has nothing to do with the rest of the episode. It might just be a character that pop in and it's just a vehicle for this character.   Like even the other motherfuckers.   You know what I'm saying? It's me. Look out. Tracy had his own little. And he said he had his own little joints in there man. And it's just great. Man one of my favorite episodes of Martin is when Jerome and Cole was arguing over Pam. Oh Pam. Oh man.  Yeah. No. It's Martin. I wonder about the other thing who used to uh, a 50 car. I got a little show on here. Oh yeah. Uh, don't you know her? Don't you know her? Don't you know her? That taught me her episode though. Oh my God. That one. Come on man. Martin's CD player. He sat on that couch? Yeah. Yeah. He was crazy. He was just that show way. I don't think you even remember. White Bob from the county. White Bob from the county. Yeah. This party's out of drogue. She was out of control. This whole party's out of control. He was only on a few episodes. Yeah. That's a classic character though. They all have different characters but they all, you all respect them as their own characters. Yeah. They became their own. They're their own thing. Shalini and Shalini. I can't wait to take you home. Oh, oh. Oh, this is oldest. All this. Dragonfly Jones. His mom is his mama. Dragonfly Jones is Dragonfly Jones. I didn't lie. King beef. Like all the different dudes that he played. Yeah. Like it would definitely be Martin. It's really. If you could go to N.C.Con, what would you pick? It's hard to say today after that but uh, let's see, N.C.Con. I don't know why. They don't have to be a show. They don't have to be a sitcom.  And like my little brother reruns.   That was not a night court. What? They re-making night court? Night court?  Let me get on there. I just thought about another one, bruh.  Favorite supermarket suite. Yeah. My nigga. I don't want to be on a supermarket suite. So I'm grown right now. I still wanted some of them hands that was wrapped up in butter. You know what I mean, man?  It's on the game show network. So you mean to still come, they making new ones? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm A. Leslie was hosting that show. Oh, I wanted to. Leslie Jones was hosting it. When you hear the sound of the beat, you're on supermarket suite. Then they had another one in the mall. What was that one? I think, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, but what about this?  Those shows are horrible for poor people. Very bad. You watch it. You be like, oh. Y'all remember the KVToy store? No.  Oh, KVToy. Was that born? No, probably not. It might not have been. But all it was was you ran through the store. I can tell y'all having like a little 80s moment right now. Real 80s. Real 80s. This one is the head toy store.  Do you know what guts is? I know what the Flintstones are. I mean, but you ain't never seen the show guts. They came on Nickelodeon when you were... I see Andy Griffith. Bruh, they had this one show where Nintendo was popular. They used to come on in the morning where motherfuckers used to play Nintendo games and like you would have to just play all these Nintendo games and try to like beat the game.  That's great. All them shows. Double dare, guts, legends of the hidden temple. I was about to say, what happened on Nickelodeon? Bruh, you are there. That's it, that's it. Oh man, none of you think about that show dare.  Wait, that's your... The whole show is like they ask two teams questions and if you don't know the answer you can just dare the other team to answer it. And if they don't know the answer they can double dare you to answer it. So if you don't know the answer you can just take the physical challenge. Right.  It was like physical challenge. Oh yeah, right. Just to go crawl through the slime and see if you can find the slag. It don't be fun about that third time. They be moving different. That first, that first with them is going hard about that third with them. See I wouldn't even want to be on the comedy show.  Like all my children. I would be on Lord of the Sun. That's that one. I wanted to be on one of those movies that came on on like season nine. I done grew up in everything. Season where I went to jail.  I was a troubled kid. I done grew up in front of these folks. I don't know what they just take all them cases from real the real life. Because they had the cases. I remember they did that on Kelly case.   They did Michael Jackson. They did Michael Jackson too. I didn't see the Michael Jackson. It was the white guy. But all the kids. Movie producer, that's the name of the episode. I saw the Chris Brown Rihanna one.  They got to start letting niggas like us on some of these shows. But I think they don't know what we want to be on them. We know now. We watch it. We love it.  Don't put me on those air files.  I would love to be on the X-Files.     It was the last time I watched the X-Files. If you watch the X-Files, you remember this. They came on. And it was a dude in the bathroom. So he was using the bathroom. But somebody was like on his little.   Like a little Dolly type. But the nigga ain't had no legs. And he came in with a nigga in the bathroom. He killed the nigga in the bathroom.  The nigga with no legs. Came in and killed the nigga.  Too much for me.  Oh yeah, that music.  Why was it coming out of all that fog? It was fogging in the mud. Unsolved mystery.  That was what we did. If you have any information. Leading up to the capture room. John Whitfield. Whitfield. Last scene in the Nevada area. Yeah, I can't watch those. Even now, like those shows. Right now?  You be on the road. They can show pictures of real dead bodies on TV. No, I know. People always think this is the 80s.   Like a show for it. You remember the Freddy Krueger series? Yeah. They had Freddy looking crazy on that motherfucker. They just had a cold case for it. Jason had a TV series. I couldn't watch Swamp Thing. That was a good ad show.  Swamp Thing was about the monster.  Fucked around and ran to the swamp.    But he still was a genius though. Yeah. That's the cold part about Swamp Thing.  He would come up out to swamp and help people.    When he turned into that, he started Oh, oh, oh, oh. He started falling apart before even transformation just everything there fall out. That was just that thing.   We'll be here all night.  Hop into a whole boy. See, what you get? You started it. You're supposed to be here. You got there. I appreciate it. I'll just be in myself. I'm not trying to match your... I love watching you talk. This one right here. This one right here, that's my peoples right there.    I bought it.  Yeah, it was... But look, look where we are now. Right, I love to ask you what you got coming up next. What we aspire to be. People always want to know what you're about to do even though you did a whole bunch of stuff already, what you got going. So it's funny because I always talk about how I'm not big on Atlanta because of my past trauma here. But I booked a movie today that's shooting in a couple of weeks. And I'm doing a show out here with some of the... some of the greatest women in comedy that I respect. We're doing a show here at the beginning of April. But... So I'm writing a book that for... I got a book deal. Appreciate it. Take care about the special. That was before. Yeah, I got it. And you know I don't really celebrate my wins. I kind of keep them to myself, but I appreciate it. There's you got more good news than a motherfucker. Yeah, and I have an animated series than a motherfucker. I ain't clapping no more. I'm tired. Hey, they told me they told me I wasn't going to do shag, I was told I would never get a special. I was told everything that I've done I was told that I couldn't do. They treated you like a teacher's tree. Oh, absolutely. When I was... They know who they are. The shag thing, they always say they're not about to put no Puerto Rican woman on shag. Yes, they are. They did. That was a loud one.  I appreciate it. Man, don't forget about us when you blow up in Spain. I have so many cars. I need to get old... the old key chains. They all have the same keys. They all have the same keys. We don't even know who Pime Park is. You got to go to the bank to get a license. The car was sold at originally with that stick and that came with the original parts of the car.  Watch what's about to happen. Now, you about to blow up again.  That's my dream. And then they're going to be like, bro, was she on the show? I'm like, bro, she is out of here.  I like the drama stuff better than the comedy. Because comedians... Because we have our own voice in comedy so they try to plug us in comedy and it's like, hey, dude, and it's corny. But dramatic stuff, most of us can do it because our comedy is rooted in drama. Right here. Like, Dave Cook is a really good, dramatic actor. He's very good. I'm still trying to do some work with Lou Dan and Phillips. Word. Young girl. Animilio Estevez. I don't like it. You know Charlie Sheen real name ain't Charlie Sheen. I saw a book where they had where they used to have what a celebrity is real supposed to be real names. Did you know Chuck Norris first name is Carlos? His name is Carlos Norris. Damn. And Charlie Sheen is half Mexican. That's why Martin Sheen. So they changed... Yeah, that's the name of your Estevez brother. Yeah, he kept his last name and the other one changed.  Well, I'm one. I'm one. Hey, I'm white. My name is Colette Black. My name is Colette Black. My name is Colette Black. My name is Colette Black. My name is Colette Black. Well, drop your social media so they can follow you. Funny Ida, A-I-D-A. I don't read comments and I don't battle rap with bitter balls on the internet. Don't waste your time. Don't waste your time. That's the truth though. I don't waste your time. So a lot of people doing paragraphs doing the little permit thing. I see four to three words and I'm like, yeah, life is too short. Ida? It's A-I-D-A. It's not Aida, it's Ida. The funniest video on your page is your cousin pulling up with the material. With the what? No, the video is so funny. It's like everybody's got a cousin like that. That ain't even my cousin. That's just a Mississippi cousin. When you have some smoking in Mississippi and your cousin pull up. Get in the machine. What a frown cup! That's so funny. Hey, shout out to King Salve. If you don't know King Salve, there's a nigga on there. Leica!  We got to get him on here. He funded. Him. Couple more motherfuckers. Sister, I appreciate y'all. Thank you. Make sure you watch Five D Words, streaming on HBO. Yeah, yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. So, I had to grab the biggest.


Welkom back again from the next question. In today's video I want to respond to someone or ask a question and tell about the driving what you call the driving license. I know most of you have driving licenses from your country but remember when you come to this country you must have possessed what you call a GCC driving license. For people who have worked in Dubai, for people who have worked in Saudi Arabia, in any of the Gulf corporation countries you stand the higher chances to get a driving license. Yes, you may have a driving license straight away from your home, from your home country or whatever maybe but you need to get a driving license in this country and you need to be approved such that you are allowed to drive that is by issuing you what you call a driving license and for you to have a driving license here in Qatar definitely you need to go under what you call a driving test depending on which kind of category that you are driving let's say you are driving a light vehicle or you are driving what you call a heavy vehicle or you are driving a medium or mini bus or bus or depending on which kind of capacity the passengers that driving license has to accommodate in one or the other. Even people are driving ambulances or driving folk lifters they definitely also need to have what you call approved or driving licenses that must be issued by the government of Qatar which you must definitely know as you are looking for a job that you are coming this country you will have a driving license for yourself then someone ask how can you get a driving license definitely for the question that you need to definitely understand you cannot get this Qatar driving license when you are outside Qatar you must be in the country you must take the test in the country then you must get the driving license in the country something that definitely I need to let you know or something that you need to understand there are people or different countries that have what you call different categories of allowing to drive let's say for example international travelers but it will definitely depend on which kind of country you are coming from and each country has its own requirements for you to get a driving license some people may have what you call undergo what you call a direct testing of which they may be because of their countries or the countries the cooperation with Qatar or the countries offer them that kind of gravity within their minds for them to get that driving license with what you call direct testing and then those that need to go under testing for a given month let's say for example two months for you to be tested until you pass the exams and you find it for you to get the driving license for it all but you cannot get test daily and for people who have worked in the GCC before or people who have had driving jobs in the GCC before I think you stand a higher chances a very higher chance for you to get the driving license because it is within the same corporation and within the same category that you can have the license for yourself now to some extent the licenses for my own information from the information that I can give it to you right now is that I think it costs around from around four thousand four thousand eight hundred to around to around six thousand depending on which kind of test and which kind of driving schools that you driving school that you have to go we have a couple of number of driving schools here in Qatar that you can go to they can take the practice they would take the exams until you are approved and taken and you pass the exams and given a driving license you know most of the time I think they give to a maximum of two chances if that chance was you failed then they cannot issue you have to wait until a given period of time for you to get a driving license so most of these for people who have got a driving license directly like for example I'll tell you as personal myself I got a driving license because I was recommended by the company that is also another issue that definitely we need to understand that I was recommended by the company that I go for the driving license and all the issue I didn't take too much test I only took two tests that is for a couple of two weeks I passed the test and I was given the driving license so that scenario also appears in any way so if you are looking for a job as a driver or what you call driving license definitely all those kinds of things I also need to put in consideration and you need to put them into and you should know something that definitely that will apply and you have to forego that in one way or hope I try to share something for you and thank you so much see you again in another video