Amen. Alright, go ahead and keep your place there in Genesis chapter 49. So here we see Jacob giving his last words, I wouldn't even say their blessings because they weren't really blessings to all of his sons, but he was giving some blessings to some of his sons and he was just giving commands, you know, or this is how it's going to go for you for his other sons. And when I'm thinking about a New Year's sermon and a sermon to preach for going into a new year for this church and for just in general, you know, this scripture came to mind if you look down at verse number one, the Bible says, And Jacob called unto his sons and said, Gather yourselves together, that I may tell you that which shall befall you in the last days. Gather yourselves together and hear ye, well there's get my sermon out, and hear ye sons of Jacob and Harkin unto Israel, your father, and then he goes right in and he starts with Reuben and he says, Reuben, Thou art my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength, the excellence of dignity and the excellency of power, sounds pretty good for Reuben so far, but then he says, Unstable is water, thou shalt not excel because thou wentst up unto thy father's bed and defilest it thou, he went up to my couch. And of course, the story of Reuben in Genesis chapter 35, we're not going to read it, but his father was away and Reuben, you know, awy with his father's concubine, the Bible says.  So if we go to Genesis 37, we'll see another story about Reuben, because we've, you know, we've got some pretty bad news about Reuben so far. If you turn back to Genesis 37 and look down at verse number 20, and the Bible says, now this is where Joseph's brothers are trying to kill him.  In verse number 20, the Bible says, come now therefore and let us slay him. He deserved the brothers and cast him into some pit and we will say some evil beast hath devoured him and we shall see what becomeeth of his dreams. And Reuben heard it and he delivered him out of their hands and said, let us not kill him. And Reuben said to them, shed no blood, but cast him into this pit that is in the wilderness and lay no hand upon him, that he might rid him out of their hands to deliver them to his father again. So notice that last part kind of explains what Joseph's plan was. It was to rid Joseph out of his brother's hands so he could go back into the pit and save him. So Reuben was looking out for his little brother here. He tried to save him. So it's not that Reuben didn't know what the right thing to do was. That's not really what his father said at the end of his life or that he was all bad. He was just unstable. So he knew what was right. He did what was right some of the times. He was just easily knocked over, the Bible says. Thus my object lesson here. Now there was some theological debate on whether or not this elephant represents Reuben or the perfect Christian in my house because it keeps popping back up. But we're not going to overthink it. He's easily knocked over. So that's the whole idea here. He's easily knocked over. So Reuben did the right thing sometimes in his life, but he was easily knocked over. But Reuben, you know, he had some stability issues. And I imagine it wasn't just this one incident in his life. We don't know that, but the Bible does say, I mean, that was a pretty big mess up. So Jacob said to Reuben that being unstable will cause you not to excel. And he basically made that general overarching statement over Reuben's life. Basically talking about in everything, you know, in life in general. Meaning that if you're unstable, you're not going to excel at anything is what his father was implying. You know, work, family, think about it. Anything in your life. So why? You know, why would being unstable cause you to not excel? You know, think about yourself. Think about, you know, you have a job, right? Maybe you have a job and you don't get fired. You have a job, you don't get fired. You know, you do well enough to where, but does that mean you're going to excel at that job? No. If you're unstable, you know, you don't show up on time. You know, you may not get fired, but you won't excel, the Bible says. You know, stay at home moms. You may homeschool. You may stay home with your kids. But if you're unstable, you will not excel at that. There's no guarantee that you will excel if you're unstable. So what I want to do tonight in the sermon is just look at some root causes from the Bible about instability. What causes it? And how can we fix it? All right? That's a great thing that we could look at amongst ourselves for the new year. Now the first, turn to Proverbs 26 and verse number 13. We're going to be in Proverbs quite a bit tonight. Proverbs 26 and verse number 13. The first obvious cause of being unstable, we're not even really going to focus on that much tonight because it's more of a simple thing, but I will touch on it. Look at Proverbs 26 and verse number 13 where the Bible says, the slothful man saith, there is a lion in the way. A lion is in the streets. So this isn't the point of the sermon tonight, but look, we're building, think of it this way. We're building Christian castles here, okay? Being lazy is having work ethic is that first building block at the foundation of that castle. And if you can't get that first building block, you're going to go nowhere in the Christian life. It's on the foundation of Christianity is having work ethic. It's Bible 101 stuff, okay? So we're going to be in a 201 class tonight, so we're not going to talk much about being lazy, but having work ethic is a foundation to your Christian life, okay? So I have to at least mention it. Turn to James chapter one. James chapter one. I want to show you the main biblical reason for instability. So instability is the effect. What's the cause? If we're looking at cause and effect, being unstable, unstable is the effect. What is the cause? James chapter one in verse number eight where the Bible says a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Well, that's pretty straightforward right there. Being double-minded will cause you to be unstable. So why is double-mindedness tied to instability? It's right here. If you're double-minded, everything is a question to you, okay? Some simple examples, especially heading into the new year. Everyone's going to have New Year's resolutions. I hope you do. If not, make some. I might as well use this marked day that we all made up on a calendar to make yourself better in some way, right? So a common New Year's resolution is weight loss goals. Everybody does that, right? Everybody has weight loss goals. Look, if you're double-minded, here's what will happen. There's going to come a point on your diet plan.  Hey, do I want to eat those cookies that I've been eating for the last six months? I mean, it's going to come a question to you. And let me just spoil or alert for you right now. If you're double-minded about it, if it's a question to you every single day on whether or not you will keep that goal in your life, you will fail. You might not fail in a week, but you'll fail in two weeks or three weeks, but you will fail if you're double-minded about it. James chapter one says so. If you're double-minded, you will be unstable in all your ways. It doesn't say maybe in some of your ways, all your ways. Okay? Eventually you'll fail. Goals in general, some of you in this church have a list. I've seen it. I've helped you make it, some of you. If you're the kind of person that stares at one thing on that list for weeks and weeks and is just double-minded about whether or not you can accomplish that thing or not, you will fail, period. You know, if it's too complicated of a task, break it down into smaller tasks and don't be double-minded about it. Be single-minded about it.  That's what the Bible says. Look, we're in a church, so let's talk about some spiritual goals. Let's talk about church attendance. You know, that should be a spiritual goal for you. You know, the starting point for your Christian life, I used to coach baseball way back when. And I remember coaches telling me this, when we would have a wrestling meet and we would just get destroyed and the coach would say, you guys didn't even show up, he would say. And I've said that to baseball teams that I've had. You know, you guys didn't even show up out there today. Look, church attendance, the start in your Christian life is showing up. It's that simple. You know, this is where many of you need to reset yourself for the new year. Did you know that just for this church here, that if we had everybody show up, every single service, we would have over 60 people in service every single time? That's pretty good. But the double-minded man will always say, should I go? There's always a reason I have a headache. There's a lion in the way, the Bible says. That's the double-minded man. Look, it's not just last Sunday. It's not just the Thursday before that. It's not the Sunday night before that. There's always going to be a reason to the double-minded man. Always. It's not like, oh, just last Sunday, I just wasn't feeling. No, to the double-minded man, there will always be a reason to not go or to not do something. That's what the Bible says. Look, other spiritual items that should be goals, soul-winning. You know, you should set a goal to go soul-winning once a week. That's a good goal for the new year. You should purpose that. Reading your Bible, we're all going to set forth on this challenge and we're going to read our Bible. Guess what? Let me tell you something. I don't care what you do or what your definition of busy is in your life. But there will always be periods where there's no time to read the Bible. There will always be that thought in your mind, I just don't have time to read the Bible today.  If you're double-minded. If you come through every single day and I just can't find time to read my Bible, you are double-minded. It's that simple. Look, if this is you, the nine chapters a day challenge is going to be just that. A challenge, like a real challenge for you. And it'll probably only last a few days. And then you'll burn through your grace period days and you'll just fail. Because you're double-minded about it. If you fail, that's why you failed. Because you're double-minded. There's always going to be something that comes up to the double-minded man. You'll always be too busy. Look, struggling with a sin is the same thing. Struggling with a sin. Remember when I said the beautiful thing about having a drinking problem is you can immediately clear up that drinking problem if you're saved by just stopping drinking. Just like that. Because the Bible says that you've been made free from sin. So if the Bible's true, you can stop. And we know the Bible's true. Being then made free from sin, we studied it in Romans. Look, I actually feel sorry for the double-minded man because I can't imagine. It must be very stressful to walk through life every single day with everything being a question to you. It must be stressful. I'm telling you, it's not stressful if you don't have that problem. Your life will be much easier. So that's the cause of instability, the Bible says, being double-minded. Let's talk about how to fix it. Let's talk about how to get stable, alright? Because what kind of person would I be if I just gave you problems and not solutions? So turn to Isaiah chapter 33, Isaiah chapter 33. Let's look at how to get stable. The Bible tells us how we can get stable. So we don't have to be easily knocked over in our life. Isaiah 33, look down at verse number six. And the Bible says, and wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times. And strength of salvation, the fear of the Lord is his treasure. So the Bible says that wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability. It doesn't say it'll help you with stability. It doesn't say it'll be a partner to you with stability. It says it will be your stability. Wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times. It's relating stability directly to wisdom and knowledge. Turn to 2 Peter chapter 3. 2 Peter chapter 3. So that begs the question, where do we get wisdom and knowledge? Where do we get wisdom and knowledge? Turn to 2 Peter chapter 3. And the Bible reads in verse number 16. And also, as also in his epistles, speaking in them of these things in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable rest as they do other scriptures unto their own destruction. So it says that, so we read in Isaiah that in order to be, you know, the wisdom and knowledge is your stability. It says, and then we read in 2 Peter, it says that people that are unlearned are unstable, they're unlearned and unstable. They're both, those things go together like that. Okay, look at Proverbs 1 and chapter 7. Right in the middle of your Bible, the book of Psalms and right after that is the book of Proverbs. So where does wisdom and knowledge come from? Proverbs 1 and Proverbs 2 will answer this question for us. Proverbs chapter 1, in verse number 7, the Bible says, the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and destruction. So the fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools are the opposite of that and they despise it. See? And then look at Proverbs 2 and verse 6 and we get the full answer right here. Okay, so the beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord. Got it. But I want to get wisdom and knowledge. Where do I get the whole thing, not just the beginning? And the Bible says in Proverbs 2 and verse number 6, the Bible says, you know, Proverbs is, if you just like listen to all the connections that it's making in Proverbs, it's like giving you the answer to everything in your life. Proverbs 2 and verse number 6, for the Lord giveth wisdom. Well, how? Where does it come from? Out of his mouth come with knowledge and understanding. So the Bible is saying that wisdom and knowledge, we're connecting the dots here. If you're learned, you have wisdom and knowledge. You will have stability. You will be stable. And the Bible says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of that knowledge, but the real wisdom and knowledge comes out of the mouth of the Lord. The Word of God. The Word of God. Knowing the Bible will make you more stable. That's what I'm trying to get at through this whole chain of events. So the nine chapters a day challenge coming up this month, it's not just so you can say you did it. It's not just to have your name on the plaque. I mean, as cool as that's going to be. That's not really the point. The point is to make you more stable in your life.  It's to give you stability. So don't get into this thing where you're just like blasting through the Bible. You're not even paying attention to what you're reading either. Listen to what you're reading because you're going to do it this year and then you're going to do it next year. You're going to do it next year. And guess what's going to happen? Every single time you read the Gospels, every single time you read the Epistles, every single time you read the book of Revelation, you're going to see things you didn't see before. So pay attention. It's like an adventure reading it every single time because there's never been a time that I've done it where I haven't even one book of the Bible, where I haven't read through it. And they're like, how did I not see that the last X times I read it? It's awesome. So pay attention to what you're reading. And the Bible says that it will give you stability. Turn to Daniel chapter 1. Actually, turn to Proverbs chapter 28. We'll go to Daniel next. The Bible also says that if you're double-minded, being double-minded is the cause of your instability. But the Bible also says that if you're double-minded, there is something wrong with your heart. So I want to look at that as well. Look at Proverbs 28 and verse 14. And the Bible says, happy is the man that feareth all way, but he that hardeneth his heart shall fall into mischief. Isn't that what happened to Reuben? He fell into some serious mischief, right? See, he didn't get up. He's down. He's unstable as water. Zechariah. Turn to Zechariah chapter 7 and verse number 12. Zechariah chapter 7 and verse number 12. I knew someone would break a window around here eventually. I just never thought it would be me. Look at Zechariah chapter 7 and verse number 12. Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone. Now, adamant stone is this. No one really knows what kind of stone it is, but it's this way of describing the stone that is just infinitely hard.  So that's what that word means. Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, lest they should hear the law and the words which the Lord of hosts has set in his spirit by the former prophets. Therefore came with a great wrath from the Lord of hosts. You see, it's all tied together. If your heart is hard, you will not want to hear the words of the Lord. You will not want to listen to preaching as your heart gets hard. You will become more double-minded and unstable. It's a snowball effect. It's super dangerous. Turn to James chapter 4. It's basically a problem that builds upon itself and becomes more and more serious over time, this whole being double-minded. I'm going to read for you Jeremiah chapter 7 in verse number 27. I'm going to read you two passages from Jeremiah that shows a people hardening their heart and what God does and how he responds to that. In Jeremiah chapter 7 and verse 27, if you go to James chapter 4, the Bible reads, Therefore thou shalt speak all these words unto them. God is saying, go speak these words unto them, but they will not hearken unto thee. Thou shalt also call unto them, but they will not answer thee.  In Jeremiah chapter 11, in verse number 14, we see the answer. We see what happened to those people because they didn't listen to the words that God told Jeremiah to speak. And the Bible says this. It says in Jeremiah chapter 11, verse 14, Therefore pray not, thou for this people. He says, don't even pray for them anymore.  So when the trouble comes on these people and they're being killed and taken into captivity, God says, I won't even hear their cries. So that is the result of people that have hardened their heart against the Lord. Look at James chapter four in verse number eight. This is the opposite of that. This is the opposite of hardening your heart towards God. Where the Bible says, draw nigh to God and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands ye sinners and purify your hearts, ye what? Double-minded. So it's saying, if your heart is hard, purify it. Because you have a hard heart, you're also double-minded. You see how these things always go together in the Bible? So purify your hearts ye double-minded. So the people in Jeremiah were double-minded. Those who have fallen away from God, God has fallen away from them. And God says he won't even hear their cries. So hardening your heart, having a hard heart makes you double-minded. It's very dangerous if you have a back-slidden heart. Turn to Daniel chapter one now. So recognize that. Start listening to God's word. Start reading God's word if you're not doing so. So he doesn't stop listening to you. You'll never become unsaved, but you can fall out of favor with your Heavenly Father. Don't forget that. So look at the flip side of this hardening of the heart. In Daniel chapter one, look at verse number eight. The Bible says, but Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king's meat nor with the wine which he drank. Therefore he requested of the prince of the eunuchs that he might not defile himself. So what a perfect example, even heading into the new year when we were talking about diets, Daniel purposed in his heart that he would just follow his commitment to the Lord. He purposed in his heart. Now let me ask you something. Was this purposing in his heart a process that took place over years or over a long period of time? No, it was the decision that he made. That's what it meant. Daniel just made a decision in his life. Turn to Joshua chapter 24. We'll see a great example of this. Let's look at the last advice of a great leader. Joshua's last words. Joshua's last words. Joshua 24 in verse number 15. Joshua is talking about something that he's purposed in his heart. About a decision that he's made. And he's giving advice to the children of Israel.  He's done great things. He's won great battles. And the Bible says in Joshua 24 in verse 15. And if it seemed evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom you will serve. Whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood were the gods of the Amorites in which whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. So he's saying, hey, just pick one. Because they're going this way and they're going that way. Where's my elephant? He's saying, just quit being pushed over like this all the time. Just pick one. Here, I'll put them over here for now. He's like, just pick one. But as for me and my family, we're solid right here. He said, look, here's the conclusion of the matter. If you're double-minded, it won't just be in one thing. It will be in many things. And you know this is true. The Bible said, unstable as water, thou shalt not excel. At anything, at anything. And it's a choice. It's a choice. It's a decision. You know, here's the nice thing about it. Once you purpose to be single-minded, it will serve as a warning to you. Once you purpose to be single-minded, it will serve as a warning to you when you stop enjoying the spiritual things in your life. That can be your first red flag warning. If you're single-minded and you do things like just take church for an example. In my family, there's no choice. There's no choice. I did an experiment with Ashley on Sunday morning. We got up and it was, I don't know what time it was. It was early. But Ashley got up, it was probably 6.30, 6.45.  I said, I have a headache. I'm not gonna go to church today. And she's like, dad, whatever. And I'm like, no, I'm serious, go to bed. I'm just gonna text everybody and I'm just like, and she's just like, she thinks I'm crazy. Because she knows we're going to church. And there's nothing that would ever happen where we're not going to church. Every time the doors are open, we're at church. On Sunday morning, we're an hour and a half early. On Thursday nights, we're an hour early. And last night, we're fixing sinks and we're putting up projectors and it's great. I mean, bring it on, all of it.  But that's because we've purposed in our heart, in our family, it's not a choice. We do it, we go. That's what we do. It's the same with the kids. I want it to be the same with my kids. And by the way, dads, here's a rabbit trail for you. I talk to my kids about this all the time. And here's why you should talk to your kids. Because it starts in the heart, right? The problem with becoming double-minded, it begins in the heart. And then you get double-minded and then you become unstable, the Bible says. I'm constantly talking to my kids. How's it going? What did you do at church today? Did you, who'd you talk to? Did you have fun? What'd you guys play? Because I'm trying to see if they're having, if they're liking. My kids love coming to church. And if I talk to them so much about all these dumb details, there's a reason for it. They're just like, oh, dad's interrogating me again. But there's a reason for it because I wanna know if something's going on where they're not enjoying their spiritual life anymore. And I talk to them so much, I'll know right away. And then we'll fix it and we'll find out what's going on. So look, I don't wanna get five years down the road and realize that my 13-year-old didn't like going to church and now she's 18 and she doesn't want to have anything to do with it. No way. I wanna know if there's any small issue right away so we can fix it, so we can purpose again and our hearts together, you see?  This is why you spend time with your kids. This is why you spend time with your family because conversations pop up and they'll just talk to you about stuff. When you're doing things, as your kids get older, it gets even more important. It's not so important to have a conversation with a one-year-old. I still did it, but it was pretty much talking to myself. That's fine. So look, nobody wants to be unstable. Nobody wants to be that guy. No one will be able to rely on you. I mean, I can't lean on this guy. That's not gonna work out for me. So nobody wants to be unstable. I mean, if you're unstable, can you support this church in any way?  He's up sometimes, but it's not reliable. No one can rely on you. And look, this whole church thing that we're doing here with this new church, the newness part of it, spoiler alert again, the newness is gonna wear off. But maybe it's not about you. You should, if your heart is right, you will enjoy coming here. If your heart is right. Otherwise there's a problem and you should start looking for causes of that problem. Maybe you're missing a lot of church and that snowball is getting bigger. Maybe you're not reading your Bible.  It's very possible. You know, you're probably not going soul winning. The snowball's getting bigger and bigger and bigger.  So make your main goal, if I can make goals for you in your life, make your main goal in 2020 to become spiritually stable. That's what you should do. It's a good goal. And look, all other stableness, it will build from there and you'll see it in your life. Because the Bible says you'll be unstable in all your ways. So when you start building those foundations, you start building that work ethic, that's a foundational block. You start deciding I'm gonna be single-minded when it comes to spiritual things. I'm gonna set a time to read my Bible and I'm just gonna do it no matter what. No matter what. From 8.30 to 9.00 o'clock or from 8.30 to 9.30 or whatever you wanna do, I'm gonna block this out every single day and that's when I do these things. And it's a decision. And I'm telling you right now, it's the right one. So just make it. I mean, that's the biggest struggle in my life when I have hard decisions, like, wow, do I go this way or that way? Look, this is the right decision. Get spiritually stable. You know, be faithful to church. Become a soul winner. Your whole life will get grounded and stable from it. That's what the Bible says. It's not just me saying that. So get stable and everything else will build from there. I don't wanna take up a lot of time tonight. Just wanna give a short sermon so we can get ready. I know we can still, we can smell the turkey right now. Looking forward to tonight. Looking forward to the new year. I do wanna say thank you to everybody for this first four months of the church. It's been great. I do feel like we have a good foundation of this church. Let's shore ourselves up. Because people are gonna start coming here. Let's shore ourselves up and let's show them what a stable foundation of a church looks like. Okay, let's show these new people. They're gonna come in and join this church and worship with us and grow with us. Let's show them what a stable foundation of a church looks like. Let's show them how to do this whole Christianity thing. Because there's no other church like this around here. There's no other church that's gonna talk about the things that we're gonna talk about out of the Bible. That's gonna say the things that we're gonna say here because if it's in the Bible, we're gonna say it here. And we're gonna go out and we're gonna preach the gospel to people like we've been doing for 219 souls already in the city. And we're gonna continue this thing. If people are gonna come here and they're gonna, look, we're gonna get the word out because I am convinced, I am convinced that if people knew that there was a church like this, they would come here. And I'm convinced that if people knew what the Bible said for their life and what the Bible said that it would actually work for their families, I'm convinced that people wanna have families like this. They just don't know how to do it. And we're the only ones that are gonna tell them how and they're gonna show them how. But we need a foundation here. We need a strong foundation here. We need a stable foundation here. When this church has 50 people in it, I mean, it's like, I mean, I love it right now. Don't get me wrong. But when we build this foundation, we are gonna be such a blessing to this community and whatever comes our way when we're a stable foundation, I mean, whatever, who cares? We'll take it. So thank you. Thank you for all of you being here. Happy new year. I'm excited. I'm super excited for the next year. My wife and I, we love you all. And your kids are great. Even with the chest thing, I mean, it's fine.  Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for this church. I thank you for the last four months. I thank you for just the blessing that you've given me, Lord, personally this year, that you would allow me to have this great responsibility, Lord, and you would have given me such a great group of people to start a satellite church with, Lord. We thank you for everything. We ask that you just strengthen us, Lord. Just make us, when it comes to spiritual things, Lord, just give us that decisiveness, Lord. Especially us men as leaders, Lord, just build us up and help us be the leaders to our families and to this church that we need to be, Lord. Lord, we love you. I ask that you bless the food to our bodies and the fellowship tonight, Lord. Help everyone have a safe travels back home. And just, I just can't thank you enough, Lord. We love you in the name of Jesus. Amen.


Oh I'm like, yeah, I'm like that. I can't I'm more in the wire, I'm trapped in 55 don't force too much bro.  I Can't wait to make history for CP.  I've been saying is everything I've been saying it though We're gonna make history and I can't wait to be a part of history cuz I'm blocking I'm a block I'm a block one through five.  Josh, there we go Josh Rosen My quarter back. Yeah, I see you now Can't find me Yeah That they were slick I might tell so I gotta I got a high for me Yeah, Johnny, that's what I'm talking about. Hey, who's that? He's good Gonna be good off the ball Kobe. I know it's fast Watch quick. Where's Kobe at? Good rush. Good rush on the staff top. Yeah. No, no Go power on him. Good light is He's gonna he's gonna he's gonna expect that staff top Let's go just that's sugary. I see they didn't put any ice Can we just are we just standing here see the ghost if I don't want to do quick Preseason done. Let's get ready for the season. Let's go Allen


Hey, Rosen, I just installed enabled wireless access on one of my younger robots, and you know how it is. It seems like a good idea to connect to random access points because viruses only hit bad robots. Long story short, despite programming it to always monitor downloads and make safe connections, I think my robot may have contracted E-AIDS. Anything you can do to help? Junior Research Assistant Dr. Gravity Here's my advice. Tell your robot to get itself defragmented and to inform all the data ports it may have interfaced with over the last month to get themselves scanned. It's the responsible thing to do. Rosen Do EMPs work on those damn kids skateboarding on my street? If so, can we use one? Research Assistant Reject EMPs only nail electronic stuff. Unless those teens or androids, that wouldn't work. I would recommend using an actual magnet, a large one, and have it target the screws holding the wheels together, or however those death traps work. I'll refer to you to engineering for any help you need getting that set up. Rosen Do EMPs work on jail guards? Research Assistant Reject Rosen, do me a favor and re-enable my status. Pat was a jackass lunatic, but he was thorough. I've been dodging misdirected quote-unquote, demonstration shunt of D-class orders since Pat threw his hissy fit. Also, I may or may not have sent this through someone else's workstation, as mine has attempted to kill me on three different occasions, despite not having any self-propelling mechanism. Dr. Martin Engineer Cap Yeah, about that. You see, Pat was pretty anal about his security protocols. So much so, that he didn't disengage him before he mysteriously disappeared. I've been going through his notes to try and find what he actually did, but most of it's just him ranting about somebody named Dumont the Destroyer, and long-winded eulogies about pudding. The best I can do is transfer you to work that exempts you from the monthly execution, until I get this figured out. How does Procedure 110 Montauk sound? Rosem Rosem Hey, Rosem, my computer was being a little slow a minute ago, so I tried to increase the voltage that the computer received to around 10 kilowatts more. I thought it made sense because more power makes more energy, right? Well, it didn't work. I tried looking online for a fix, and they suggested I delete something called Win32. After doing that, I kept getting errors or something like that. A colleague of mine told me he could format the BIOS for me, and I graciously accepted. Yet that still did not work. I have tried many fixes, and right now my computer is kind of on fire. I'm not worried about that, though. How can I make my computer work again? Maybe it's a way I can make it faster. Dr. Taylor Try to download some more RAM. If that doesn't work, reformat your zip drive. If all else fails, reboot it twice and call me in the morning. Rosem Rosem, for some reason, my inbox keeps getting spams into it. The strangest thing about it is that they all say something along the lines of, to the past me, X, with the X being something mundane and apparently has harsh consequences on the future. I've done all the things that it says will cause the disruption of the timeline, and so far nothing of ill consequences happened. Should I chalk this up as a prank, or should I be worried? Dr. Nekat I wouldn't worry about it.  Rosem Hey Rosem, should I take the red pill or the blue pill? Dr. Epsilon If strange men and trenchcoachers are offering you pills, you have bigger issues to worry about than what your friendly neighborhood tech support thinks. Rosem My caps lock key is stuck. What do I do, Dr. Edison? Try holding down the shift key while typing until I can requisition you a new keyboard. Perhaps see if one of your co-workers will loan you one. If you can, try to unstick the button, or just start shouting all the time when you talk to people, so they read your text and your loud voice. Rosem Saluto T. Rosem In no mean patris et eper et spiritus sancti caso, ego sum happens, difficultatum usurum, artificial anima inspectionum, quote, desititor, adcite, uh, twel, utskitis, nostri, doctrininus, enum, cantum, natium, diquadum, requerium, illa actions, ahumana, singorlium, cu, demonstrati er, appropriate, gradu pietis, dum normalis usu perat, compermeer et tempter fitum pertinet singularum per inquisitinum. Those three reductions and numerum elite non-requititor uti processus mekin non-mechanica est elit lectrica ad automate inquisito, or something like that. Those three artificial inquisitum non-epspos propri, consulum ergo assertit apostolus et ego nigo tamum, verbi biliocic ve herictis, hook est non-ita, art pusunt ripari per impositium manis at exorcismi opus, vestrom and cristi, pater gomes estri, keplanius et institutinum twelv. If you're looking for an exorcist, you've really come to the wrong place.  Hello, Mr. Rosen, I have many names. My operator has named me Bellow the Unwavering, even when I insisted on being named my natural name. I am sending this message to you for help. Get me away from this maniac, Dr. Taylor. He tries to insert bologna into my steedy drive, even when I plead him not to. This ridiculous name that he has signed me has been burned into my artificial memory. His browser history is enough to drive one into madness. He drops food over the monitoring keyboard. As technical researcher, I hope you will take pity on a sentient computer and reassign me to another, more competent user, Bellow the Unwavering. I have requisitioned Dr. Taylor another computer. His old computer has been put into storage and catalogued as an anomalous object until such a time comes when I have it used for a snobby computer box. See more of these, Taylor, and you're going to be paying for them. Rosen. Dear sir, it seems our correspondence route with our own technical support has fallen victim to a temporal anomaly. We of the American Security Containment Initiative can do very little to remedy this, and would much appreciate assistance from your end. Regards, B. Franklin, ASCII researcher. Nice try, but I happen to know that Benjamin Franklin was mourning the death of his wife Debra in 1774, and would not have had the time to look into computer box techie matters. Checkmate fake news, Rosen. My Debra, dead? This year? Bloody hell, man, when? Be Franklin, ASCII researcher. You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out. Rosen. Rosen, my pornography collection got erased from my gateway. Can you retrieve it? Agent Convitt. Look over here, we got ourselves a wise guy. Well, Mr. Convitt, I regret to inform you that your computer's files were all irretrievable, so I had your computer disposed of. Not to worry, because this time tomorrow a brand new e-machine will arrive at your desk, just for you. You're welcome.   Rosen. Rosen. Another problem that may or may not be related to senior staff shenanigans. Someone did an in-place reinstall of every one of my computers, including my personal laptop somehow, made Internet Explorer 7 the default and only browser, and revoked my software installation permissions on all of them. As my work requires extra precautions against drive-by downloads and other viruses, I need Firefox reinstalled, or at least unlock my account so I can do it myself, because Adblock Plus is the only workable solution I've found to prevent them from even reaching the system, since the antivirus won't catch it in time to prevent data expunged. How the heck did they get access to my laptop? It's at home for crying out loud. Dr. Okugawa. It seems your problem is that your computer is too desirable, and people keep messing with it as a result. As such, I have replaced your computers with a complete suite of web TV applications. Then I went ahead and replaced the laptop with a Commodore PET. Then I forgot what I came in your office to do, so I ate your lunch and called it a day. I hope it resolves your tampering issues. Rosen.  Can you deactivate it so that I can claim my rifle prize? Agent Convid. Dude! The Roomba has had that bracket unlocked for the last four years. Don't see why you're so upset. And even if I wanted to deactivate it, the ethics committee says that would make your office a hazardous working environment. Just let it go. Rosen. That damn D-class dropped me into an email on 713 and sent it to my own laptop. Get me out of here! A pissed-off researcher. I guess I'll just go through every laptop on site looking for you, since it must be urgent if you don't tell me who or where you are. I'll be right on it. Rosen. Hey, Rosie. My computer terminal stole my bovuzela somehow.  Junior Agent Lucas. Good news! I killed two birds with one stone by fixing both of your problems. Bad news. The stone in that analogy is the big rock I keep in my office. And the birds were your computer and monitor. So yeah. Problem solved. Rosen. So I found my friend's computer, and I decided to hack it.  It'd be incredibly clever and hilarious and original, Agent Convitt. See, I know you're lying to me, Convitt, because we're not so different, you and I. Friendless. Alone. About the only difference in my obsession with puttering about with old computers, and yours are pornographic pursuits. The difference between us being, my skills aren't going to get me fired when tech support reports me for workplace sexual harassment. Rosen. I know what you're thinking. Why does Taylor insist on writing to me? Does he need a gateway today again? Rosen. I know what you're thinking. Why does Taylor insist on writing to me? Does he need a gateway today again? Well, no, but I still need help. See, I'm not the superstitious kind of guy. So to keep the meddlers out, I tried to make a machine that would drop a step ladder on anyone who walked into my office. Unfortunately, I forgot about this, and did not turn it off before entering. Long story short, I have a sping-head ache, though that may be just the stitches above my skull breaking. There's a video starring Sasha Gray on my computer, which is now covered in what I can only hope is rather viscous milk. And my pants are nowhere to be found. Talk about bad luck. So Rosen, what do? Dr. Taylor. Know to all personnel whom it may concern. Mr. Taylor is officially banned from requisitioning any new equipment from the IT department. After three separate towers, four monitors, and God knows how many repairs, I am throwing in the towel. Taylor, you will have to make do with what you have. Rosen. Um, hey, say hypothetically someone were to code a desktop of 447 Goop? Where would it take the most trouble to get off? Human researcher Fairbearing. Why would you want to get that stuff removed? As long as your desk isn't made of dead bodies, it's going to give you fantastic performance increases. I actually scratched that. Your computer is ruined, and I requisition to do a replacement. Come by my office any time to pick it up and drop the old one off. Rosen. The dreadlords of the unspoken citadel require additional acoustic glyphs to properly contain excess ether, produced by the epic necromantic rituals used to keep the screaming man bound within gas bars' revenants. The glyphs must be sent via carrier pigeon in the dead of night, no sooner than all hollows' eave, for fear of awakening those who sleep beyond dreams. Zipfax Lightfade. Foundation Grand Dreadlord. Dr. Edgero? Did you get into the 420J again? Rosen. Ever heard of reeking? It's a sound that guinea pigs make. Unfortunately, it's not a sound that the voice commands accept on my computer. Or any computer, for that matter. Do you know how hard it is to type on a full-sized keyboard when you're 22cm in length? I have ordered you a novelty-sized keyboard that should bit your… needs. It's basically a big slab of plastic. It's supposed to be peanut butter-proof so you could run around and push buttons and let loose the… things guinea pigs make to your heart's content. You're welcome, Rosen. There is bodily fluids on my things, help, Agent Convid. They are STUPIDS on my page, HELP, Rosen. I'm not sure if you're the one I should be talking to about this, but there appears to be a large, angry squid inside my monitor. The problem is, it just gets, let's say, uncooperative when I try to get it out. Should I try something else, or just ignore it and hope it goes away? Dr. Marvel. That is a screensaver, Dr. Marvel. There are no sea creatures living in your computer.  Or when the computer had frozen your family and was holding them hostage on an exact copy of your timeshare in Bangor? This is like that. Rosen. Okay, how about?  The huge keyboard just made things worse. I'm still not sure what WEEKING is, but we got some pretty universal noise to tech software. I sent a copier away, along with a standard headset mic set up. Hope that works out for ya. Rosen. Hello, IT. We are down at Site Blank, Memetix Lab 12C, and we were wondering if there is a way to revert a desktop background image without looking at the screen. It seems someone opened a rather nasty visual memetic and managed to set it to the background. This would normally not be a problem, but several files are needed on the hard drive. We've already lost several researchers, and the first tech that tried. For now the screen is unplugged, but we have no way of resetting the desktop. Help? Junior Assistant Researcher Blank. Current Acting Head Researcher of Memetix Lab 12C. Step 1. Remove hard drive. Step 2. Please monitor on a flat dry surface, away from pets or small children. Step 3. Obtain hammer. Step 4. Apply percussive maintenance to monitor with maximum velocity. Rosen. The public printer near the cafeteria convinced me to build up limbs and a mobile power supply. After which it took my stun gun and left me on the ground drooling. When I came too it was gone, so basically I'm asking if you have seen that trader's little recall. Assistant Emon. Tagged and bagged my friend. Next time, try not to be so susceptible to a printer promising marble cake in exchange for freakin' sweet oggs. Rosen. Hey, did one of you guys see that new guy in IT come by just a few days ago? This chainsaw started to get kinda heavy. Agent Connabit. Groovy. Rosen. Rosen. The microwave in the eating quarters came to life again. On plugging it didn't work this time, it's trying to kill me. Apparently because I put that fork inside of it that one time. I'm currently hiding on top of the refrigerator, but I don't think I'll be safer long. Ow! Dr. Nickhat.  Microwaves aren't exactly known for their mobility. Rosen. Never ran them to all staff. As of June 25th, 2012, Senior Technical Researcher David Rosen has been temporarily relieved from his duties due to ongoing behavior and disciplinary infractions that have recently come to light. Asshole thinks he can get away with putting THOSE files on the net. As such, Dr. Adam Taylor and A Corpse will be handling the department until he returns. They will also take care of his backlog. I demand popcorn and burjans! The microwave. Greetings, O great and powerful master of electromagnetic waves. Beings of appliances and bane of meatloaf. Attached to this document are 517 individual popcorn kernels, as required by Foundation Protocol regarding the maintenance and sustenance of malicious sentient kitchenware. See attached documents 127-F-1287 and SGD-133774-ND. The burjans that you have requested will be delivered to your facility upon completion and deliveries of forms 1362-182-A-N, 2HF-3-1723-N, 163722-IHFT-1928-A-F, and<PHONE_NUMBER>-122144323. All deliveries of said forms must be made within 7 business days via Foundation First Class Partial Post to Foundation Appliance Maintenance, located within Sub-Level G of Site Blank. All forms must be completed by hand in triplicate using a black ink roller ball type, .5mm pin. We appreciate your cooperation as matter and hope that you are successful in your endeavors. A Corpse. I'm getting a, an Ethernet cord has become disconnected error here. Everything is connected on my end, so I'm guessing this might be a problem in your server room or however these things work. Any idea? I have some file work that needs to be sent to another site, so the sooner the better. Field agent beam. Yeah, about that. I recommend you send it through the Partial Post. Maybe put it on one of those diskey thingies, if it's too much data for a floppy. Things might take a bit to sort out on the server end. Rosen got a bit drunk and messed about a bit with the wiring before he left. A Corpse. Who is your favorite black person? Agent Convid. I- What? This is not technical! A Corpse. Researcher Eisenberg here.  Must have been during lunchtime.   Needed to fix somehow before the next set of samples need to be run through at 4, thanks in advance. Agent Links. Hey Eisenstein, so I heard you needed a new computator. Thing is, I don't really know what a Ubuntu is, nor I'm even sure what language that word originates from. Is it Swahili? I bet it's Swahili. It's almost always Swahili. Anyway, since we don't have any of those, I went into the storeroom and got you something to stand in so you can get that cat-based one sorted. It's a Victor-something-twenty? I don't really know. The label's sort of weird like, Anywho, Enjoy, A Corpse. Damn it, this is not fair. I've been trying to get myself reinstated as something above janitor level ever since that whole business with Pat, and now I find out other people are getting the assignments. What does a man have to do when it's being confirmed that he would wrongly demonstration shunned just to get bumped back up? On another note, since I've had to chew between leaving the Foundation and dealing with my current duties, I've decided to tough it out. Can someone replace the electronic lock on supply closet 3B? It shouldn't even have a speaker on it, but every time I unlock it, the thing yells at me in German, former technical engineer cap. I find that, on the rare occasion that a man such as yourself, being of the janitorial persuasion, seeks to make great gains within this by all means in different and bureaucratic organization of ours, the best thing to do is to raise yourself up by the bootstraps, put on a brave face, get down to the nitty gritty, and sabotage the competition.  In regards to your secondary, but of equal import, a questionation, I recommend that you get Mr. Klopsin down an engineering to have a look at the fellow. If anyone knows sentient cabinetry of German make, it'll be Klopsin. I heard that he once talked a deranged ceiling fan off a ledge, yep, that Klopsin is one heck of a talker, shame the most everything he says is gibberish, best regards, a corpse.  Can someone let me out of here? It's dark, cold, and very boring. Also my chains are really starting to chafe. Rosen. Rosen? For the last time, take off those chains. We've told you time and time again that we're not bringing you anyone who's down for some kinky business at all.  Also, how did you manage to get network access in an isolation chamber? Let me know. Dr. Taylor. What's the best way of getting a computer keyboard out of a tank of, you know, Dr. Edison? Getting it out by yourself? Because there's no way that I'm doing it.  We ran out of gloves just a couple seconds ago, while you were reading this reply rather than getting the gloves that I never told you about. People just don't know how to do things themselves, honestly. Dr. Taylor. So, I was playing around with some beakers the lab boys gave me, and I accidentally turned my parrot into a laptop. Should I shoot it or keep it? It keeps saying it will have the fall of humanity soon. Agent Thessen. Well, I wouldn't recommend hooking the little monster up to any ICBMs if that's what you mean. All in all, though, most sentient, malicious computational devices tend to be relatively harmless, just so long as the computer isn't too powerful and doesn't have a robo-gun hooked up to it. Tell you what, if it works, keep it, and if it demands crackers, give it crackers. Just don't you be hooking out abomination up to the network.  Hey, corpse. Having issues with SCP-Net? Whenever I try to submit a report, the program freezes them BSODs. Clef. Well, I don't really know what the problem could be. The program itself is usually pretty solid. It is, however, possible that you've got some sort of buyer- External user disconnect. Error. 8-H. G-D. S-Y-6. 7-6. 8-7. S-D-G. Feed me crackers. 8-Corp. Scraaaack. Hey, do you know why my code sequences keep getting rewritten? I've got them backed up on my server, but I think one of the other researchers, or a skip, are recompiling and screwing with my recursive algorithms. Now half the hotlinks on the server are down, and there's… a bunch of blinky lights next to a couple of the containment displays. Also, the algorithms have filled up 67 petabytes with junk data that I can't erase. No hurry, though. Technician Bryant. 67 petabytes? Shouldn't be too hard to erase. Just open up a task manager and… wait. A petabyte is apparently pretty damn huge according to this guide. Huh. One petabyte is a million gigabytes. Anyway, I have dealt with this before. Let's use my five-step program to fixing a computer. Results may vary. 1. Practice your backswing a little. 2. Go to the tallest point in the facility near an unbroken window. 3.  4. Draw a smiley face on the window. Spray paint or Sharpie. Either will do. 5. Smash the window space in with the hardware. Then ask Rosen to give you a new one. 6. I know that I'm bad with any sort of coding, but I don't even know how this could possibly happen. I was tweaking the code of one of my programs to find out why it was running all weird. And now there's an image of my monitor of what looks like we need a poo stuck in a hole with the words, Help, I'm stuck written above it in a book typeface. I didn't want to requisition another computer since it would be a hassle and this one is probably still perfectly functional.  Could you get rid of it, please? Junior Researcher Chibi. Chances are, you activated the Feed Bear Honey subroutine somewhere along the way.  You'll have to wait a while for him to slim down. By no means are you to feed him any more honey, no matter how much he pleads. There's no telling what he can do if he reaches critical honey mass. But I can very certainly guess they'll make a Godzilla-style documentary based off of it. I imagine the Oprah Winfrey will guest star in it. Dr. Taylor. Aaaaaaah. Congratulations, brave and noble hacker. Through your intelligent and clever use of intellect and raw, unadulterated cunning, you has successfully left me completely dumbfounded and at an utter loss for words. Seriously, though, I don't think you understand.  Men could live for centuries. For millennia, gathering the knowledge and wisdom of their lands and many others, and still not reach the level of ability that is presented here. The magnificence of the thing. The sheer wonder that such a majestic creation can bestow upon us lowly and unworthy worlds is far beyond the grasp of a mere man such as myself. I would thank you, but I believe to even involve myself with thee within society would be to ask too much. For I feel that one of such ability as yours is not fit for communication with mere men. Please find, sir. Do not attempt to contact me again. I feel that the magnificence of your presence would be too much for myself to bear. A corpse. Hypothetically, in the instance that one of the janitors were to wander into a lab and be digitized by a combination of experiments which were in the room completely coincidentally, and then in another completely unrelated accident, I uploaded to an unknown network through a number of proxies. Which disc of SCP-335 would said janitor most likely be stored upon, and what would be the best method of retrieval? This is a purely hypothetical situation, of course, and I am, of course, completely not at fault for this having occurred around noon in this completely imaginary situation. Assistant Emon. Had this hypothetically happened at exactly 12.14 pm, and had you supposedly been around and unwilling to aid your fellow co-worker, then I would suggest looking for the one with that might have his name on it. Of course, if you had coincidentally been recorded by yours truly, and if you perhaps enjoyed living, then I would very highly recommend that you go to room 386 with around $2,000 and $50 bills. Come alone. Hypothetically. Dr. Taylor. Totally NOT Dr. Taylor. My computer is literally shitting itself. What do? Dr. GW. It appears that your computer is caught a virus of some variety, possibly of extradimensional origin, that has resulted in a severe case of the runs. Personally, I recommend you buy yourself a new computer. But according to Foundation Protocol Document TD-132725-AYWT, it is required that in the event of an extra-normal technical element or flaw, the effective machine be submitted to the research department for study. Personally, I recommend the Office of Dr. Hendrickson, largely on account of him having consumed a sandwich from the break room that was quite clearly labeled as belonging to someone else. Make sure to sanitize your desk as well. A. Corpse. Hey, Taylor and Corpse. First off, congrats. Hope Rosen didn't leave any landmines. What did happen to him anyway? But I digress. My problem is this. I walked away from my computer to get a drink.  Before I wreck a new one, is there any fix? Also, since the sniggering tool office is down kinda hints as to who did it, best way to beat the crap out of somebody without it being known? Dr. Axe. External Override. Meso-J9099-87461530-SecuredNet-B1 Loading. Access Granted. Well, you know what they say. You can't keep a good researcher down, especially when you don't change the passwords. I mean, seriously, Word, Pass, 1, 2, 3, and non-secured passwords for the break cell bay. But I digress. I would recommend running fruitofladoom.exe on any affected drives. That should eject any buildup of fruit matter from the system. As for your wise guy co-worker, have you tried introducing him to my favorite fruit? A tomato? Rosen. Rosen, you've returned. Welcome back. Your idea worked. Thanks. Feel bad for the janitor assigned to clean up, though. Dr. Axe. Glad to hear it. If you've got anything that might help prove my innocence, that'd be just a real good way to make it up to me. Rosen. I'm petitioned to organize an onsite bring-your-kids-to-work day. Does the security software attached to the server allow for the installation of additional programs across the board? Okay, I have no idea about the security thing, but you want to take your kids to work? A place where the smallest twitch or the smallest muscle can result in multiple fatalities, adult and children? Not to mention the possibility of one of them wandering their way into a terrible, terrible place that could mentally scar them for however many lives it could go through with the knowledge of the evil we contain? Where to assign? Dr. Taylor. Say, I'm sending a couple of the robotic speedboats with gravity arms into the Danube Delta to catch something that seems to cause death to everyone within 40 meters of it. My post-doc is an serious gamer. Can we hook up the robots to a PS3 controller, make chasing it while firing tranquilizer darts easier? Dr. Gallo. I tried to do that, but it seems like nothing worked, so I picked up some random junk from Rosen's personal stuff and hit it with a hammer until the wires went in. That didn't work either, but I did find an RC remote controller. Do what you can with it. Hopefully Rosen won't miss those things I hit with a hammer. That being all of them. Dr. Taylor. World's worst assistant.  Rosen. Notice, as it has been proven that researcher Rosen was not in fact responsible for the presence of gross data on his drives, he has been reinstated with the apologies of administration for the trouble. Anybody with information on the perpetrator should report it to their supervisor immediately. Director Tilda D. Moose. Dammit. Since when do security bots know how to use Wii remotes? And since when do said remotes move junior researchers? I've been ducking under the nuts all day, Dr. Axe. It appears that some of Dr. Taylor's creations have spread outside of the tech support offices. Not to worry, because my crack team of whack-nissions are busy deploying highly sophisticated and not at all mallet-related decommissions on all rogue equipment. Rosen. Dear Rosen, my iPhone was infected with some kind of bug, and now it won't stop buzzing around my office. Please tell me what to do. Researcher Quandary. Our phone appears to have been set to the vibrate function. The buzzing sound was somebody attempting to contact you. I have since changed your ringtone and all the alert tones to some soothing Mongolian throat singing. You can thank me later. Rosen. Hey Rosen, I'm having a bit of a problem with the computer in my office. Over the past few days, I've been hearing a tinking sound coming from somewhere. I got back from lunch today, and I could've sworn the pointer was tapping against the screen. It looks like there's a tiny crack in the corner where I was doing this. Not quite sure what I'm dealing with here. Agent Ferris. Your computer has a virus made by zombies that turns people who stare at it too long into zombies, so you have to destroy the computer in any zombies it's made before it's too late. I would suggest using duct tape on a kayak thing and some cane saws like in Dead Ryzen 2, and using it to kill the zombies because that would be awesome. Assistant Technical Researcher James, age 8. Who let kids in here? I've replaced your monitor, Rosen. Mr. Rosen, I was recently diagnosed with Explosive Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Long story involving a body mod SCP, and would appreciate it if I could get an ergonomic keyboard and mouse. Over the last two times my hands were blown off by micro explosions on my wrist, the medical department says they won't reattach them again. Professor Bjornsson. Certainly. I've spoken to the boys downstairs, and we've come up with the perfect solution. This keyboard is so tough that even if your wrists were blown to smithereens only inches away from the QWERTY, it wouldn't even have a scratch. Also, we've used the same technology we used to clean up after those messy SCPs to make it chunk-proof, so when your hands go blind due to premature detonation, you can be satisfied with the knowledge that your keyboard will still be fully functional. Rosen. Dear Rosen, it hurts when I pee. Not quite sure what I'm dealing with here, Agent Convitt. That's what you get for dry-humping herpes butt, Rosen. My computer keeps flashing white every two minus, and opening random tabs. I don't know what's going on, but it seems to be causing weird edits to any report I'm typing up at the time. The text changes color, font, and size, and what's worse, my British tisms keeps being changed to Americanisms, Researcher Lloyd. The software era you are experiencing is called autocorrect. Common symptoms of this era include colored fonts, sudden insertion of line breaks into paragraphs, and replacement of the fake extra letters and removal of fake words, words like lorry or color. Rosen. Rosen, can you please explain to me why all my image files were swapped with pictures of SCP-050, Dr. Agent Quandary? If you're so smart with your double-major, double-agent combo, then you should be able to figure it out on your own. Rosen.