Good afternoon, I can't hear you boys and girls good afternoon So it's a kind of heavy post-lunch feeling now everyone wants a little bit of a nap presumably Would that be okay? I don't see why not actually Should I just let everyone have a nap? but I've been asked to do this session we call the humans at work the theme is kind of collaboration and I've been guilty of running workshops about collaboration. How can people work together better? How can teams work better together and I knew The collaboration isn't just a thing. It's not a Uniform notion so I did a bit of research and I found there's a guy in Stanford who says collaboration is wrong for many activities How do you feel about that? Working together feels like a humanist marvelous thing and then actually we look at it more closely It may not always work for certain things as two people leaving already the upset by my My words where should ladies who are going out there? They're just going to the back Maybe they have maybe they want to sleep and those more snooze you those seats lady over there Hello, why didn't you want to sit here? There's lots of nice people here Anyway Who was a bit scared by Dan McCullen's poem? How much are we giving away so I took I have got a lecture in my house and I turn it off But is that enough? Should I should I sort of take off the plug from the wall socket?  Because I was having a very long meeting with some people recently at our top lawyers in London And I said we're talking about EQ and IQ and then this person about 50 minutes in I don't know what EQ is So for those of you don't know EQ was the shorthand for emotional intelligence Emotion intelligence is the thing where you by you understand how you feel How the other person might feel how you're having an effect how she's having an effect on you? Very roughly speaking, but a man wrote a book about it and make a lot of money from it But it's one of those things that's become a shorthand We don't always know what it means how it applies and I was asked to write a book about soft skills. I Put that on Twitter saying how do we feel about soft skills? What do you think happened? Lots of people said soft skills bad Because they didn't like those two words many of us who are in the world of leadership development communication training Soft skills sounds like it's undermining what really is going on. It's not really Extending what the truth of what our job is and somebody else said it's a very misogynist term as well So some people are decried because of their soft skills are lacking somehow. That's why they won't get promotion So in the end we called it seven steps to improve your people skills and the poor bookstore guy over there said please Would you mention your book?  You can buy it now, but I managed to get them all down to Seven chapters each beginning with L and I come from the world of improv has anyone ever seen an improvised theater show Okay, quite a lot of you some of you might be thinking I don't know what that means Isn't all comedy improvised Stand-up comedy. No, I don't do stand-up comedy. That's quite lonely. It's one person on her own his own I do group comedy group improv and I've done it on this very stage with the comedy store players and with Eddie Azar and a couple of others in a show called one word improv but I've been looking again at what a collaboration means some people Think it means or feel it means or scare that it means more meetings who likes meetings and It's one of those things where Working together the shadow side of it is Sounds like I've got to give up some control. I do all the work and you get all the Q-dos It's gonna delay me getting with what I really think I've got to compromise So I I've looked at a few things about collaboration. I wrote them down. That's why I'm going over here now we the worrying side of robots artificial intelligence is What we saw with Dan, but also soon will they become our masters and we're their servants We have been collaborating for quite a while with artificial intelligence, haven't we? We haven't had machine learning But we've had phones and computers and stuff Didn't you like the words Dan? I don't know if you invented them or I just hadn't heard them before machine Nick Technicity precarity I Loved those words. I'm good to steal them a lot now But the idea of artificial intelligence versus emotion intelligence, so let's just have a look Can we have a look at sure on that list of things? This was from? 2016 Davos the world economic forum They were asked a strategy directors HR directors were asked. What are the skills that be needed in 2020? And already people are slagging these off of being a bit outdated because I'm sure you've all been aware that 50 percent 15 percent of Jobs now won't exist in 10 5 years time and What will we need to do so look at those which of those do you think doesn't involve an element of people skill or an element of? Collaboration wish do you think? Hello Complex problem-solving is that better done on your own? Depends if it's complex. Maybe you need various different people. What about cognitive flexibility? I reckon between night everyone's shaking their heads because you all come here.  The real people out there doing proper jobs Might disagree, but actually I've worked with real people as well And nine nine and a half of those might be to do with people or that some sense of collaboration Because even if you do solve the problem number one, you've got to explain it to other people You've got to help them understand why it's a good idea Just coming in now. Oh, it's Andrew from the crew. Hello Cognitive flexibility Like any good workshop facilitator I now ask the rest of the audience What do you think cognitive flexibility means? Yoga for the mind that sounds a bit deep Presumable means you be able to change your mind in light of different data Do you does anyone have a better definition than that? My son has to do open home with us who where his school no homework or week You just got to do a thing which is an absolute nightmare for the parents But he's found that learning creativity is applying something you've just learned Alongside something you already knew perhaps that's a good definition But cognitive flexibility. What does that mean? I suppose being able to think differently see it from a different point of view perhaps That certainly is going to be helpful in collaborating Helpful in people skills Okay, so maybe those aren't the skills in 2020 Sean will lose that now. He's just checking his tinder Or was it grinder did you get my message Anyway So nowadays we have lots of tools for collaboration.  We've got emails. We've got Yammer slack. What's app Instagram chatting over coffee. Remember that one audio conferences teleconferences And so there's lots of tools for collaboration And even sending google docs to people you play your bit. I'll play my bit But it was interesting. I found a financial time survey of what employers want from mba graduates What do they want from these people have come out from that kind of course that poppy came out of Things probably have changed. I think in the last 10 years or so since the crash the there have been some thinking about what is purpose and Business isn't just about the shareholder value But the three things they were looking for were the ability to work in a team To be able to work with a wide variety of people The ability to build sustain and expand the network of people and they're looking for those Those are the three the three of the top five not just technical ability So these things are quite important, aren't they? And of course we talk about collaboration. We all should be singing from the same song sheet Anyone else got any other cliches we have we're all pulling together There's no eye in team Apparently there are five in individual brilliance So I come from the world of improv. It's all about collaborating. I don't know what you're going to say We work together. It all sounds great and I was interested to see that Mario this morning said that positive psychology is hijacked meaning and purpose Nevertheless, she sort of said well, maybe there is more in common than we think But it was interesting to see that meaning comes and goes There are ups and downs and meaning is often to do with the struggle So maybe that's something that helps us understand Meaning isn't going to be an easy thing straightforward thing But the kind of flip side of Working together singing from the same song sheet is group think anyone think of an example where group think went bad We're laughing but enron is one where people couldn't speak out A lot of the ones that actually lani had which I don't want to say things in case I upset The boss or upset the team upset the rhythm. I can't be a whistleblower. I don't want to look like I'm a bad influence The Bay of Pigs was a famous disaster for the CIA Somehow some obvious things hadn't been taken care of because we know about the wisdom of crowds. Does anyone believe in the wisdom of crowds? Lots of evidence that this is a good thing, but actually only if the guesses are independent Because very easily are we swayed by those around us? What's everyone else doing? I'll I'll say the same as them So the herd has a strong power. We don't want to deviate from that But I found a great study where they looked at People solving a logical problem, which may not be what we come across every day But this was a logical problem. There was one group that acted independently one group where they were constantly collaborating What are you doing? How's it getting what were your solutions? And one the third group were the ones who were went off to work on their own But checked in every now and again with the others they collaborated in to middle if you like And what happened was that the individualists reached the optimal solution more often than group two the constant collaborators But their average score was worse And group three the intermittent collaborators were the ones who Actually did just as well as the individualists, but also had a better average result so That seems obvious doesn't it? You all sort of nodded or didn't say anything or were asleep when I said Is there kind of a dynamic sometimes a man sometimes working with others? So sometimes we need a bit of space, but we need a bit of occasional collaboration There's a book Supermines by Thomas Malone of massachusetts institute of technology Three factors determine the collective intelligence of collaborating groups One is social intelligence a bit like emotional intelligence that I talked about ecu How good are we at rating the emotional states of others? Number one social intelligence number two the extent to which members took part equally in conversations Does everyone have a voice? And of course the more equal the better number three The proportion of women in the group How do you think that affected their collaborative intelligence? Higher more women better Hurrah We kind of know that so that social intelligence the extent to which members are listened to and the proportion of women Groups ranked highly in these areas cooperated better than others However anyone Feel this is okay, but I'm the one who everyone collaborates with and I can never get my work done What's the shadow side because I often work with groups and they'll say yeah, we want to be yes and we don't want to be yes But which is the improv ethos actually But they have a business review survey looks at 300 organizations And the distribution of collaborative work was lopsided Guess what in most cases 20 to 35 percent of the value add from collaborations came from only three to five percent of their employees I'm sure we know that's roughly true So some of you get known as the oh she he is a go-to giver. He'll help she'll help And it turns out that one single extra miler as we might call her or him Can drive team performance more than all the other members combined, but this becomes Dangerous because what happens then? We that we know that person. He's always prepared to help she'll help out. We go to her after a while. There's a bit of a bottleneck They get busy everyone's looking at them. Well, we can't go on until she's checked it or she's weighed in He's had her opinion his opinion And so it's interesting how what might become good then might become not so good So these are the shadows collaboration because I'm I'm actually going to write a book about improv called. Yes, but which is Improv may work on stage and in many cases, but when won't it work the improv mindset, which is yes, and I hear you I build on what you say How can I Have a true Dialogue with myself about what does that really mean in a day-to-day work environment? Because there are three types of collaboration These ring true to me certainly informational knowledge expertise that can be recorded hard Collaboration if you like information then there's social kind of awareness access to others Let's talk about it. You can might talk to him. You might talk to her Here's the thing and the third one is personal that really costs you time and energy Which is okay. I'll get down and dirty and help you with it So three types informational social and personal and what's the one we Least willing to give is our own time and energy, but often that turns out to be valuable and often the people who attract collaboration often get Overloaded so there's the phenomenon of the overburdened helper And of course after why they get too busy they can't help everyone people get cross Why can't you help me this time? I'm just being too good a citizen No deed goes unpunished as we might say So I want you now to turn to your neighbor. I know you might have to speak to somebody you've never met before Gastly as that sounds So just talk to her him Or maybe somebody you know well, maybe two or three whatever, but what does collaboration mean in your work? Some of you are like me sort of one man one woman bands What does it mean in your work? What have you observed in organizations and what's your collaboration style? That is information your expertise. Here's the answer try this or social well Let's talk about it or actually I'm going to try and help you build Solve the problem. So what's your collaboration style? What does it mean in your work? So just let's have some house lights as we discuss that okay so The fact you're still talking means the questions were okay anybody want to share What collaboration means for them working together does it have Some of the meanings I've talked about some of the applications some of the fears or delights Because I've been pretty negative so far anyone want to share their Insights it'd be great to hear The gentleman who said cognitive flexibility. What does that mean? What's your name? My name's Ian. Hello Ian The question was tell me what you just talked about it really was what's your collaboration style And what does collaboration mean at work for you? I'm just wondering because we're on camera. Do you mind standing up? They'll give you a round of applause and I'll give you a free pen. So it's worth it Shall I face this way? So my name's Ian and I work at the bevy That was on that was on the screen before And so just while I've got the mic if anybody took a photo of when Jonathan was on the screen Uh up on the big screen that I forgot to take a photo of Can you swap that with me? That would be really handy I thought he's going to say all sorts of gdpr issues there, but no It's it's Jonathan cool with this. We we did gdpr at the bevy We had a discussion about it and then we said let's not do that But don't don't tell anybody But we somebody told me there was like the gdpr team is like two people in the uk What this to check on you mean there's two civil servants checking. Yeah, so when I heard that I just took that as red and said Let's not do gdpr. Well, also, uh Break the rules I heard from a lawyer that a lot of those emails telling you their gdr policy We're actually breaking gdrp Because they they shouldn't have sent you emails like that. So so Ian we're getting right off track. It's tremendous Sorry, so a collaborative style. So, um, uh, cam and I actually know each other and we collaborate together So what's that cam? Yes cam and do you work in? Yes? I've got that. Yeah That's my cognitive flexibility in and so what does cam do with you? Uh, so cam and I are we're we're community business leaders, aren't we? We're both community business leaders. Is that what you say? Officially, yeah, hello. I'm a community business leader. We did a course Did you yeah, we did a course in it.  Six Frankie moses. So yeah It was nine months. All right, Ian didn't turn up for most of it Same attitude to gdpr. Well, those three months are a bit dull wasn't listening I'll let cam though. Were they particularly difficult those three months that Ian didn't bother with or? No, I did go you did go but you just forgot it was that long. Yeah, okay. So nine months. Okay, go on then Yeah, uh, so uh, and and we're trying to collaborate further. So we met on the course And cam runs an amazing thing in in london. Do we want to say what it is cam? Yeah Well, you can say in as you might have be louder, right? Yeah, come on. Yeah, uh, so so we can get cam up actually Yeah, come on cam. Cam works with the most amazing thing called company drinks. Okay so I'm sensing cam doesn't want to come up. So Which is fine company drinks is an art project that does picking fruit and makes them into cordials and then They everyone talks together and they do intergenerational storytelling and Yeah, all that all just tell us again come. What's it called again? Company drinks company drinks. Yeah So if you ever need have an event and you need cordials for your for your event Or beer or beer so they make beer too. Yeah company drinks company drinks so for example There's people in east east bright east london where she works in barking in dagginham And they used to go hot picking in in the post war years as children And so they now the same mainly women Yeah Now go picking again and they go gleaning together And they take children with them and they swap stories and they connect and and at the end of all that They also make cordials Wow, bloody good idea isn't it? It's great. I love it so You're collaborating with company drinks possibly going to stock their drinks we would hope We don't do that. Do we I mean the baby they mainly we mainly drink alcohol But she does beer anyway. Let's not talk about The lack of Foresighted her poor sales techniques. So let's talk about collaboration, which you were keen not to talk about So so we discussed that we had we had slightly different styles cam feels that she's a social So she's a all those two people would fit together. Well, let's share values and that kind of stuff And I am a what was the third one personal So you get stuck in and do it yourself. Well, I like I liked Yeah, sort of help people do things Myself and hopefully not have to do them myself So I'll get them to do it is my style Well, it's interesting as anyone heard of David Ogilvy He was a kind of leading light madmen is sort of his era Leading advertising guy and he said my thing was I'd always go to a meeting give everything I could in the meeting But make sure as I leave I don't have any to-dos Which is interesting is the leadership style, isn't it completely committed in the meeting But make sure that the people there are empowered to do it You might characterize it that way. So you're you try and help people out. She's more connecting people. Maybe that's right Okay, I'll give you a Neil Malarkey pen and You can have one for cam as well There you go. These are giving them a round of applause. Thank you. Okay, so Anyone else want to give us an insight into their collaboration technique There are sort of two chaps here, but maybe we should have a female voice given that cam wouldn't give us hers There were the four four women here who are when I came over you suddenly shut up Which you know, I'm used to that so Do you want to say about your collaborative sort of insights? You look like you're about to speak so I'm going to give you the mic They give you a round of applause and it's great if you stand up if that's okay. Thank you My collaborative style was to um get social with a bottle of wine And then I felt that that kind of engaged people quite readily Okay, so it's kind of Off-desk as we call it. Yes. It's away from the real normal day to day of work It's let's relax because I characterised it in my book I think one of those things where when can you tell when somebody's coming for a chat? Is it a quick 30 second? Can you give me the answer? Is it a little five minute? I want to mull or is it we need to get a bottle of wine kind of chat and how many off How many bottles of wine do you have a week? Do you think what? What's your name by the way, sammy sammy and what do you do? I give boxes where they're kind of a Conscious theme to them. So everything is ethical sustainable, but kind of a luxury high-end Market, okay. Do you have cordials or beer involved? No, but I was actually thinking that was quite interesting and I could use those potentially Well, good boxes cam is here So company drinks so a bottle of wine you're saying that's kind of more informal It's outside the normal structures of meetings Putting meetings in your diary outlook iCal stuff relaxing relaxing, but it's a bit different from Having to knock heads together at 10 a.m. Every Tuesday morning. No, it's the head that bangs in the morning Because Dropbox Found they for two weeks a few years ago. They cancelled every recurring meeting To see if those meetings were really needed and of course they weren't many of them and for the next two years, although they Thank you round of applause What was your name again? Was it sam? Sammy and the next few years they found they had fewer meetings. They were much more efficient, of course This is the downside of collaboration is we have to have more meetings and I want to want to say They have a different collaborative style or they've found a way to do it or a little bit like studio time that amy said Some organizations have a period when you don't do your job, but you just work on other stuff Uh, those If you like what she called them the the cushions not the couch if you like Anyone find that they found things that work from that outside the mainstream type of collaboration Yes, hello, and you as well. So I come to you in a moment.   Okay, so What's what's your name by the way? It's Amelia Amelia I'll stand over there. So you half look at me and half look at them. How about that? Okay, that sounds good That's good So I run a mental health charity and anybody who works in the voluntary sector is probably going to sign now But we do co-production and we have done for years which is taking very vulnerable people and going How can we help you have a voice? How can you actually decide how we serve you? um And generally what I do is I try and I have to translate information and then I have to step back But somehow encourage people who've never ever been able to express themselves To say what they want and need when they've never had a choice And that can be really difficult. So I usually get cake and tea out and kind of And a bit of music can get people playing guitars and stuff like that really I'm a basically a massive hippie Co-production so food and drink involved and somehow to relax people so they don't feel uneasy in Your presence can I have my pen now, please? Yes, do you know the gentleman over there by the way? No, I'll go and give him a thing. Thank you. Amelia round of applause So why do you come down here and then everyone can see your face? I expect and what's your name? My name is I'm rich. I'm rich. Can I say it again? I'm rich. I'm just rich. I'm rich. Oh, I'm rich. Yeah, sorry Thank you. You can call me amy All right. Why didn't you say that first of all? um Ami I like because I'm only I only only tell it to people who actually love me. Do you love me?  She calls me amy.  Oh, well corporate people Okay, because amy is such a good name is to me it sounds like french a friend Uh, I don't know they just called me with love Right Everyone's falling in love with you amy now. Thank you.  Tell us more. So I was talking to rosy and she sees into Frozen foods business. So she said to me that her thought about collaboration is Taking care of people who work with her And I I felt collaboration means more to me In today's corporate life, you know, you have so many things in your plate to do So everybody is like crazy busy. So I'll say If I want you to be helpful to me I should be equally helpful to you and that's the meaning of collaboration for me Okay, and how do you help people? Do you say I'll give you my time? I'll do the thing with you or I'll just chat you about it or I'll give you some information Time uh, is an important thing then Maybe In a way, I can be helpful to you. I mean, I'll get something done for you. You get something done for me Okay, that's that's probably the way of collaboration in in my thoughts And what do you do by the way? I mean, we know rosy does frozen food project manager for american express Yeah, I I do implement projects new setups Infrastructure related setups wherein we implement collaboration solutions When I say collaboration that is more towards network collaboration. I know but this is the interesting word is now Collaboration is more like a cyber thing. Yeah, and that's interesting, isn't it because we've got these collaboration tools Yet, I always say to people face to face Always wins over but it takes time energy money And it's interesting because you work in what I would describe as a real job for a real company You can say that and How do you make yourself? Give favors if you like to others help them out so they might help you later Do you are you visible? So I would say Like at this time I might be having some time And I can reach out to my folks that Okay, I see this project is critical for you. Is there a way I can be helpful to you? I have time at this time Tomorrow I'm crazy busy and I see this person is having a bit Less things in his plate and I would love to go to him and say hey, buddy. Can you please help me with this? Okay, if he does it, I'll feel that my collaboration with him is successful Okay, and you said you see somebody do you actually physically see people and they see you You so I mean We can easily make it out, you know if people are having time or not because They'll probably be hanging around if they don't have all work Okay, we get the idea of people just hanging around American Express Ah, no, no, no, no smoking dope No, that's not right. Okay. Thank you. Ammy round of applause. And there's your meal on your pen. Thank you Okay So does anyone know what nominative determinism is It means your name determines your job. So ammy works for American Express Isn't that marvelous? So collaboration we've heard about this. We think it's marvelous. Actually. Well, what are the shadow signs of it? I'm too busy to take this on. I need some help. You're busy How do we a lot our time and what about leadership and what's the Fact of collaboration right at the top they found for example that fashion houses who had co-heads weren't deemed to be as successful Himalayan expeditions where there was a co-leadership. There were more deaths. So of course leadership shouldn't be collaborative Should it you might say to me that well, not everything is like fashion Not everything is like climbing the mountains and also surely a leader's role is to make decisions Also to model collaboration. So there's this kind of dynamic, which is how much do I Be seen to be making my own way and how much am I sharing with others? And I think that's tricky because nowadays we have so much more Should we say demand and tools to collaborate? So that's why you can't go and hide in a corner so easily physically or digitally So collaboration people think is the same as consensus. It's not I've Seen an NGO person Say we collaborated with organizations. We wouldn't share all their values, but for this project. We did agree So consensus often. What's the thing that we least like? Anyone think about something in the news today that might be a bit like that Collaboration consensus can be the worst of all worlds or the least offensive Collaboration is taking on a clear target. Let's work on this perhaps um People often say to me they collaborated in things that weren't actually their job the the the company off-site The day where they went out to do a charity thing to help at a local charity some csr Uh Something that was that somebody's christmas party, whatever Often the collaboration is easy when it's not the actual job when it's not the real thing But of course the fact is and that's where complex problem-solving I noticed up there a lot of issues in organizations are so complex That you have to buy in get buy in ask for help across disciplines ideas people Different resources people have to share so co-production Is the name of the game But the problem is meetings so Nowadays people spend apparently 80 percent of the time in meetings or answering colleagues requests As I say Dropbox found an answer to that which is cut the number of meetings for two weeks and see which mattered But there the bad side of this is bottlenecks employee burnout And of course many incentive schemes don't incentivize collaboration incentivize individual targets so how do we make collaboration worthwhile and It seems to me that the interesting piece of information is the panel is an overlap of 50 percent between the top collaborators and the top performers 50 percent interestingly though Remember I talked about the go-to givers, but what about those stay-away sands that she or he is when you just don't go to her Don't go to him. He won't help He she is that type of person but 20 percent of organizational stars don't help others at all So are there people who are best in that environment? Or can we harness their abilities or is it just we just recognize That it's an uneven playing field There was a huffing and post survey 2013. They found that men are 36 percent more likely to share knowledge information expertise That's number one the informational collaboration Women were 66 percent more likely to assist others in need In terms of giving more time and energy And it was interesting that A new york university survey found they they did an experiment They found that a man staying late to help earned 14 percent higher ratings than a woman who did the same 14 percent, but when neither the man or the woman helped the woman was rated 12 percent lower than the man Isn't this Staggering that somehow it's expected different genders will behave in different ways So the problem comes when it's this informal collaboration People begin to find that they are being asked to collaborate. They can't say no So perhaps leadership is as much anything as organizing the collaboration Eliminating some work distributing the work Making sure that the collaboration is to a good end So this article in the Harvard business review said why not have a chief collaboration officer? Her job his job is to make sure collaborations are helpful and useful Rather than just adding to our burden and are they helping the right person? Is that person is not a great collaborator? Are they best? Working in a different way So I said I came from the world of improv I'm going to tell you how we use yes and We use yes and as a metaphor and as an actual drill Because we think Saying yes and as opposed to yes, but is more generative will create more and better ideas Of course sometimes by saying yes and to lots of aren't lots of requests You're saying no to the future requests, but it feels like we should have a go a little exercise Amelia amy Sammy do you want to come play Ian? Give them a round of applause It'd be great if you had a few more anybody else want to play, you know, there's a Neil malarkey pen to be to be had You can get another one Okay, thank you. Who's this gentleman Jed James right, thank you big round of applause for james. Okay, so come here so This idea of yes and does anyone ever played yes and in workshops or whatever Yes, and is the idea of improv because it's basically saying yes I hear what you say and I build on it It doesn't mean you actually say the words yes and always, but imagine that an improv scene. Hello james. Do you know amy? Do you love amy? Okay Yet we'll come to that soon So in improv we might ask the audience for suggestion And the audience might say hospital then two actors have to create a scene And we might say one might say good morning doctor and the other person might say good morning nurse And we talk about the idea of an offer the offer was doctor the offer was nurse anyone come across this concept Very simple actually improv started with a social worker in chicago in the 1920s Viola Spolin she was helping children non-native speakers in inner city chicago in the 1920s to feel more confident to speak up in class And her son said these exercises are great. They work as a form of theater in their own rights So by 1959 he had created second city theater company has anyone ever been to chicago or heard of second city I'd heard of second city because I loved the blues brothers And I'd heard of saturday night live many alumni go on to saturday night live Mike Myers Had come from second city canada when I met him in 1985 And we formed the comedy store players and that's why we're in the Guinness book of records We're apart from Mike. We're pretty much the same people who started 85 86 still doing the show so we're the longest running comedy troupe in the world with the same core cast So there we are hurrah and I didn't know Amy was going to tell you that but anyway, I thought I should clear that up And in fact, you thought it was something else that eating the most doughnuts or something but I'm in a group that's been around for 33 years So Mike told me about improv. I didn't believe it I thought they had cheated. No, he said there's a whole ethos and rule one of improv is to listen Treat what the other person says as an offer and offer is something somebody gives you can do something with a very interesting collaborative idea Good morning doctor And this person then might build not by saying good morning nurse. They might say Good morning, mr. Johnson. So I'm giving the offer of patient I see your leg is better Giving the offer of leg then this person because in improv our job is to make our partner look good How can I make her have a good time? Not can I win at her expense? So I go, yes, my leg is better and I'm playing football again Then my job is to make my partner look good football. Yes, and I heard you saw three goals at the weekend You see how we go one step at a time. We're not prejudging We're not trying to go three steps ahead of our partner. We're trying to make him her look good However, compare that with this. Good morning doctor This person says I'm not a doctor We call that a block Does anyone experience the block at work? or at home Your wife, am I? No, yes, but uh, of course, they don't mean to be nasty cruel, whatever It's just they see the world differently. But actually, uh, a friend of mine wrote a book called everything is an offer Robert point and po y Point and everything is an offer. There's always something happening Your colleague in the market in technology. How can I use this to go forward? So that's the interesting thing you start at point a point b moves Even as you try to find it in improv you can see why improv is a great metaphor For organizations because point b changes So good morning doctor I'm not a doctor I've got to go yes, and my job is still to make my partner look good I've still got to work with what she he gives me What can I do? Good morning doctor. I'm not a doctor Oh, really? Well, I'm not a patient either I come here to the hospital every day just to hang out I see you in your white coat So I've taken the offer of I'm not what I appear to be and made My partner right How often are we listening to our colleagues but wanting to show that we're better? Than them they're wrong or they've got a cold. Well, we've got a Malaysian flu The humble brag So that's what it is. So yes, and so why don't you give us over here the first line of a story? The dog ate my homework.  I should get the mic What have I done with the mic? Have I given it back given it back to somebody? What have I done with it? It's over there, right Give me a round of applause to cover this But I think you could hear James couldn't you nonetheless. He has a good voice James. Are you from show business? Are you an actor?  Good, but you could have said yes and Yes, and Yes, and we didn't give him proper food last night Yes, and he's a hungry hungry dog Yes, and I wish my dog was hungry too Yes, and actually my friend's dog did his homework for him Okay, well done ammy that was particularly good from you Another version of this and you can try this with your colleagues is to do that's good because That's good because so just give me a very simple easy sentence Anything Pardon the sun is shining. Okay, we'll go from this end Uh, so it goes the sun is shining.  Have you come across? Debono's thinking hats There are six ones. This is kind of I think it's the green one. Isn't it where? Everything goes you think of good ideas. I did this once with an oil firm and they said, oh, well, there's just too much Yes, and in our organization. We never get down to real decisions interestingly so sometimes leadership saying yes, but so James you can stay with the next one.  Yes, and because I think There's a mathematical equation, which is the number of people involved Makes it more difficult to collaborate I don't know what the ratio is It may be a similar ratio to how slow people are to come back after a meal break because if it's five of you It's quite easy if it's 50 it's relatively 500 is almost impossible Because we don't reach the tipping point, isn't it? There should be a maths or physics phd on this So we're going to play the game. Yes, and okay similar idea. Yes, and okay So give me an opening line or an offer actually to start We should always try and start our improv scenes with something bold So just give me a an occupation. Give me an occupation, please a job What's that A Brighton town counsellor. Okay, did you feel that sort of venom? A Brighton town counsellor. Okay, James. Do you live in Brighton? No, okay, so we may get this horribly wrong So why don't you start with I'm very excited about the pro about the the project by the pier that can be your opening line We always try and start our improv scenes with something positive and something bold How many of your meetings start with oh, this is a bit rubbish, isn't it? And then the energy goes down so we try and create some up energy. So what was the first line again? Okay, let's go with two town counsellors I'm very excited by the project by the pier. Yes, and I feel encouraged lots of young people to find work Yes, especially those immigrants. We love them in Brighton Yes And we welcome people from all over the world Yes, especially when they come bearing gifts Yes, and we've had an influx of people bringing cordial frozen foods And luxury ethical items Yes, and that is a party waiting to happen Yes, and that's it We could have a party there invite all the people who feel disadvantaged and get these so-called ethical people to sponsor it Yes, and then Brighton will be a mecca Can Brighton be a mecca? Is that okay mixing? Yes, and That's why I think I should be the leader of the town council Yes, and I would vote for you. Yes And thank you very much. I uh I'm glad I can count on your vote. I'm sure you can persuade Phil as well Yes, Phil Vote for Neil. He's my hero Yes, and the problem is Phil doesn't like me. He wants to be the count the mayor as well the leader Uh, but I think you'll find that Phil Has good days and bad days On his bad days, he wants to be leader on his good days. He wants you to be the leader, Neil Yes, and thank you very much round of applause There you go By the way, James, I've asked everyone else. What is it you do in real life? I work with Rosie. Okay, so Rosie frozen foods. We work for Kamri Cook Cook. We make nice. Oh cook. We've heard of cook good Good. Yeah, and what do you want sales pitch? Um, so your email. I send you some free food Okay, um But what do you think you're gonna get from today? Is your first time at meaning? Uh, no I came about four years ago. Oh when I did my thing Did you do I did in 2014? Oh, I can't my I'm bad for days short-term memory. Yeah, exactly. Exactly You were great though But Rosie, do you have to collaborate with James? Oh, don't ask and well you have to collaborate with suppliers and distributors. No, you have to collaborate and how does that work? Uh, good because uh, we try and make sure everything is a wonderful relationship in which we both will But how do you do that just give the money by being wonderful people and and and just by trying to get a genuine honest, um That this is what we want to achieve together We believe this is going to take us to a good place together not just in terms of us taking Thank you, James. Thank you, right so Everyone raise your left hand and you have to point to somebody nearby who isn't the person you came with And she he is your partner. Okay find her him now Okay so Now's your chance to play yes and so I'd be good if everyone stood up don't you just If you don't have a partner Wave hands at me. Okay wave your hand and you'll find one. Okay. There's two ladies here. You have to mix You can go with each other. That's fine. Okay. There's gentlemen here. There's late There's a gentleman there in the red. Can you find each other in the red? Go find one another anyone else Doesn't have a partner Okay, because it doesn't work as a threesome honestly, so you're too You're two people you are two police officers Two police officers and I want you to say I've arrested wilkins again, then it's yes and yes and okay off you go. Okay let's uh Let's pause for a second and uh Why do you sit down next to your new partner if you if you dare? So the two ladies at the front You were laughing uproariously just to say an interesting thing who found yes and difficult Why because it's not how we speak is it who wants to go yes and but Yes, and say again Oh, hammy not you again, so You're working with james Who found that they got into a yes and where the other you didn't want to go where they wanted you to go Yes, but you can control it a little bit like I think Amy talked about that area where i'm not quite sure it's going i'm not sure Where it'll lead where it'll end up. I didn't know about the 45 day thing. Did you? I didn't know that that record stood for any 45 days roger banister And yet he's got the fame Because he broke through it and he found a way Didn't think he's going to do it and look how beaty was afterwards, but it's that thing. Yes, but Means you tend to go what you already know Yes, but I can see problems with this and you might say there are times I've got to say yes, but when something illegal is happening when something dangerous is happening or something You feel is not within the confines But what about yes and and what are the yes ands you can do? We can do lots of yes and in those moments of rapport Social those networking things those time when I just need to listen to you I just need to be there for you. So the the beautiful yes and remember poppy's story About the person who sat with her on the stones at the beach the yes and was yes, and you just need time Yes, I'm here for you and she said he held me in his hands Sort of but didn't touch at all. It was one of those moments where you felt the exact response was to be silent Just to check are you okay and be with you for those moments until you could move on There were lots of yes ands from richard, for example her boss when she said, I don't think I can do it I'm not qualified now. Yes, and we'll get your qualification And you could see how she could run a business having done their MBA amazing huge Story she had there anyone else find themselves. Yes, and was a bit difficult You want to go yes and but because I work with one big consultancy and I said, oh this guy Yeah, I've heard about your workshop Neil. Yeah, you say you say yes and when you mean yes, but Yes, and that's a bad idea. Yes, and I don't like you As if it's a trick it's not a trick But if you if you think about the yes and ethos it's about I'm accepting your offer I'm building on it and it may be I didn't go with what you expected Because the offer is the unit of currency for example when I said Good morning doctor the offer was doctor I lied What are the offers in good morning doctor? Good morning and doctor. Well done. Uh, good morning doctor morning. Really? I've been up all night Good morning doctor. Good. It's terrible. I've killed three people already So this yes and isn't just acquiescence It's fully getting in the moment with the other person those tiny moments of collaboration Those tiny moments of meaning actually which I so enjoyed What mario said about those tiny moments of meaning sometimes it comes and goes the week maybe up maybe down meaning may be more diffuse So those tiny moments of yes and so think about the people who see you as a yes, but It's people who are more yes, but and they're worried about your yes anding too readily Is that right you're laughing is that who you've seen as Okay, but it's true those of us who are naturally yes and might be frustrating to those who might want to get yes But it's a I don't know where it's going to lead So you need to yes and the offer of I need some safety here so That's what I talked about really the impact we have on one another. What are you yes anding? What are you yes butting? so Yes By me, this is profound stand up.  What's your name? Peter I'm just wondering about the the yes bit of but because it sounds if it's actually a no You're not really agreeing. So you're saying yes Which seems like a no. Yes, you're going very deep there. Peter. Am I the opposite of yes and is not yes, but The opposite because if I yeah, let me give you an example If I say let's paint the room blue What's what's the big yes to that? Let's paint the room blue. Let's paint the whole house blue. Let's paint bright and blue. I'll paint myself blue I love you I'll paint everything on my body blue. Okay. There's no end to the yes What about there's no end to the no. Let's paint the room blue No I don't like paint. I don't like blue. I don't like decorating.  So just for the exercise Yes, but of course is a no if you want to go profound no, but could be quite a big offer though No, but how about this? Or even yes, but how about this? It's almost the energy. That's why I go back to the offer Yes, and is almost one word in itself. We're yes anding you anyone know tina fe by the way tina fe of 30 rock and saturday night live the first female head writer on saturday night live Lots of stories about her in that misogynistic world of comedy. I'm afraid it is But she's got two pages on yes and in her book called bossy pants Why wouldn't you say yes? She says and you've got a responsibility to contribute. What's the and you're giving? So yes, but as an exercise. Yes, it's done. You can go yes, but down you can go yes, but up That's the idea of really listening and in my book. I call it just listen and link Can you link what you say to what the other person has said what she cares about what matters to her Listen and link those are really what yes and is you don't want to say yes and all the time Am I listening really to what you're saying? Am I linking to what matters to you? That's what collaboration is Okay, I hope you found this amusing I want to say a big thank you to my volunteer Amelia. You're there. Thank you Amelia. Thank you Ian. Thank you cam Thank you Ammy of course. Thank you sammy and thank you James big round of applause for them So we uh, we take a tea break now until 3 15 I'm going right now to my book stall and I'll sign them for the chap who's trying to sell them Otherwise he's got to take them home on his own. So, uh, see you at 3 15. Thank you


It's a very it's a tricky trap to fall into where you just work get on the piss on the weekend watch the footy and that's essentially like that's it what your life is one one thing I noticed and I'm not I'm not about to shit on sport but but sport is another example of escaping reality I mean playing it's one thing playing is one thing but watching it and I've like got a number of friends who love their footy you know that's amazing but it's it's a very it's a tricky trap to fall into where you just work get on the piss on the weekend watch the footy and that's essentially like that's it what your life is that's it and you're like you go into like fantasy footy or footy tipping and things like that sports betting which is a pet hate of mine I'm not a fan to be really honest yeah


I'm staying again at the friendly bike house in Portland. You've seen me make videos here before, particularly in the basement, and I just finished recording my review of Eclipse, which I'll post shortly. I wanted to show you the bookshelves at this place. They have an interesting collection of books. First, though, at the top of this shelf is a vintage scrabble board. It's a copyright 1953 on here. It's an authentic vintage scrabble. There's just a variety of books here, which you can see. This shelf here, in particular, I found interesting. This book had fallen behind the others. I could feel it back there, reach back and got it. It turned out to be Encyclopedia of Gods. This second edition of fictions looks like a textbook. It has a really impressive collection of fiction here. There's Borges, whom I've talked about plenty of times. John Cheever, Arthur Conan Doyle, William Faulkner, Nathaniel Hawthorne. I just mentioned Young Goodman Brown last week. Joyce Carol Oates, Shirley Jackson, D.H. Lawrence, Kurt Vonnegut, Eudora Welty, and Garrison Keelor. A lot of history books here. Girl Interrupted, not something I read. NASA, Skeleton in the Closet, Running with Scissors. What is this here? Double Day Dictionary. This is a collection of Silverstein books. Rebel of the Sands, I don't know what that is. There's these Time Life Artist collections. Cezanne, Titian, Rubens. Let's look at the shelves downstairs. And here we are, we're going to look at this shelf first. There's the Sword and the Stone. Person for Beginners. Best American Essays, 2000-2001. There's a lot of books in this series here. Secret Life of Bees, Island of the Blue Dolphins. I don't know what that is. It might be interesting.  I doubt that. Heroic Camus, The Fall, Homer, The Iliad. There's more Best American Essays. More Best American Essays. There's more of these Time Life Artist books. More Essays. Best Short Stories. Calvin Hobbs, Fifth Anniversary Books. Hardbound by the library, it looks like. There's Kipling. Stories by Kipling. There's another Kipling book over here. We'll look at it in detail. There's a book by Sarah Vowell. I've heard of her. I've heard people say that she's an excellent writer. I don't know anything about her books. The Devil in the White City, The Bear in the Attic. Here we are, Many Inventions for Rudyard Kipling. Let's look at this Kipling book. I think it's a great vintage dust jacket. You can see a purchase from Loma County Library. This is something I would very much like to read. The names of these stories here. The rest of this video will be pictures I took at one of the local Goodwill shops. I mentioned how there was a very large Goodwill store down here with a huge science fiction section. Here's a picture of it right now. The rest of these are pictures from that store. At the end, there's a few pictures from another smaller Goodwill store nearby. They had two or three shelves of science fiction books, and what little was there was great. You'll see it. You all seem to enjoy these book collection videos. Here you go. Bye. Please remember to press that like button. It helps my videos get seen. And then subscribe so you can come back next time. I do science fiction books, TV, and movie reviews all the time. And please consider becoming a patron. There's a link in the description below.


Our next speaker up is Robby Kramer who up to this point at the event has been doing the introductions I'm doing is now of course because he's a speaker at this specific point This will be his third speech at the 21 convention last year in Orlando, Florida being his first Just about seven weeks ago at the time of filming here now He was in London, England hosting the event just like here as well as giving a speech actually the keynote address pretty big job His speech this time around is going to be merging intergame and outer game as you can see here at the tip of my cane It's gonna be awesome So without further ado I guys I present to you guys your host emcee and speaker Robby Kramer the Hebrew Hammer of Confidence I love I love my new nickname That's great. So you guys have gotten to know me a little bit throughout the the conference and It's great being an emcee because I'm kind of already warmed up in a cool way That's why I do it So my speech today is on merging in an outer game as Anthony said a lot of you guys have been coming up during the course of the weekend Asking like are you in her game? Are you at her game? And my answer is always there should be no difference It's all just confidence in my opinion So I'm gonna tell you my story first how I got into all the stuff I'm growing up. I was a golf and poker geek. This is me right here in College I played golf for UC San Diego up until I was 18 my life was Wake up Turn on the golf channel before school go to school go to the golf course Come home watch the golf channel go to bed. So as you can imagine I didn't have much of a social life I was kind of Not really an introvert. I feel like I'm more of an extrovert, but Throughout my time in you know high school middle school My life was golf and then in college. I picked up poker as well And if any of you guys play online poker, which you can't anymore in the US But back in the day you can basically spend hours clicking a mouse and if you're making money it's pretty good pretty good thing to do except once again not very social and I realized at the end of college that I wasn't good enough for the PGA tour I didn't want a career as a professional poker player just because I didn't feel like that would be much of a life other than easy money and I didn't really know what I was gonna do, but a Buddy of mine got a job working for a venture capital firm and This is this is me at the VC firm Got my suit on selling these products here and The job was to raise money for startup companies. I'd never done any sales before in my life I had no idea how to sell anything And I never thought of myself as a salesman, but I did know that if I learned to sell that probably be a really good thing You know a good life skill to have so I said whatever I'll take this job. I have no other prospects. It sounds good So I started sales and at the same time Another friend of mine introduced me to the book the game. Who's read the game? Most people and I think a lot of people this is kind of our introduction Into personal growth. It was for me as a guy. I was never interested in personal growth I was like, yeah, that's for girls and gays, but hey yeah, I'll read a book about picking up girls that sounds great and At first when he showed me this book. I'm like, yeah, I don't need that stuff I'm I got game. Not really, but I pretended I did and he's like no trust me. You want to read this book So I've you know, I turned it open Read it within like a day and a half. I think I stayed up all night. I guess I'm not that fast of a reader Some people like yeah, I read in two hours. Okay, so Reading the game was really cool because to me it it was like a The first time in my life where I realized that there was actually a way to improve yourself In an area that was really important to me It's like wow I could get better with girls because up until that point the only women I had in my life were you know Meet a girl at a party make out with her.  I'd never even gone on a date until I was 23 after reading the game I had no idea what a date was even like so it was it was great to just be able to to realize that I had the power to improve and I remember the first night after reading the game I put it down and You know after reading it. I was like, okay, there's some stuff in here. That's cool There's some stuff. That's a little bit weird, but I'm willing to try anything I had no idea what was good. What was bad So I was like, whatever I'll try it went out and I remember one thing really stood out for me I remember if you call a girl a cartoon character She'll like you like okay. I'll give that a try. So I see this hot brunette.   I'm gonna go to the bathroom. So Go to the bathroom come back. I'm like, hey Minnie Mouse. You want a shot? She's like, yeah Okay, cool. So I go back to the bar.  I come back.   This girl likes me. What do I do now? Then I remember from the game There was this I think they called it like the evolution phase shift Where you make out with the girl by segueing by getting her to like, you know bite your arm and bite your neck and Do this other crazy stuff?  She's biting me. We're making out a minute later And then she got all turned on so I was like, hey, let's let's go drag her into cab went back to my place And we hooked up and the whole interaction was maybe 15 minutes in the next morning. I remember oh my god I found the holy grail.  Maybe there's something else going on here. So That's when I decided to become a pickup artist now. I don't really I No longer consider myself a pickup artist when I was trying to be a pickup artist. I certainly wasn't picking much up at all more of a I don't know failure artists whatever you want to call it But these are some of the things I tried on my endeavor to become good with women I tried faking it till you make it. So when I give a girl the look She knows she's coming home with me So Trying that like yeah, I'm cool. I'm confident. I'm alpha. I'm like walking around like this That didn't work so well.  Okay, I'll try it That didn't work out so hot. I tried memorizing canned material. I just put me in my head Didn't do much for me at all. I Tried trying to entertain and impress Magic tricks locking up like being this court gesture this big over-the-top guy And I got a lot of attention that way, but that's about all I got and after a while. They're like, okay. See you later I tried Next the woo-woo years. So after trying all this outer game stuff, you could say It wasn't really working so hot. I was because I was going out and doing stuff. I was getting better I was getting over approach anxiety I was you know, definitely improving because the ultimate thing you can always do is get experience Like there is no substitute for experience So just a sheer act of going out and trying a lot of stuff was amazing and then I heard about this stuff I call it woo-woo, but you can call it new age things, you know Different modalities to build your confidence because I realized that I didn't feel confident I felt like I had to be this guy. I had to put on this act and I learned or I heard that You can do this inner work and then be really confident like after you do all this inner game stuff You'll just feel like a million bucks