11. It has been quite a length of time since we left Mr. Thomas and his young friend facing an uncertain future. Since then he has not only been successful in building up a good business for himself but in opening the gates to others. His success has not inflated him with pride, neither has he become self-abashed and isolated from others less fortunate who need his counsel and sympathy. Generous and noble in his character he was conservative enough to cling to the good of the past and radical enough to give hospitality to every new idea which was calculated to benefit and make life noble and better. Mr. Thomas in laying the foundation of his education was thoughtful enough to enter a manual labor school where he had the double advantage of getting an education and learning a trade through which he was enabled to lie on himself without asking aid from any one which in itself was an education in manliness, self-respect, and self-reliance that he could not have obtained had he been the protégé of the wealthiest philanthropist in the land. As he had fine mechanical skill and ingenuity he became an excellent carpenter but it is one thing to have a trade and another thing to have an opportunity to exercise that trade. It was a time when a number of colored churches were being erected to build large and even magnificent churches seemed to be a ruling passion with the colored people. Their homes might be very humble, their walls bare of pictured grace, but by united efforts they could erect large and handsome churches in which they had a common possession and it was one of the grand satisfactions of freedom that they were enabled to build their own churches and carry on their own business without being interfered with and overlooked by a class of white ecclesiastics whose presence was a reminder of their implied inferiority. The Church of Mr. Thomas was a member who was about to erect a costly edifice. The trustees would probably have willingly put the work in the hands of a colored man had there been a sufficient number to have done the work but they did not seem to remember that white prejudice had barred the northern workshops against the colored man. That slavery by degrading and monopolizing labor had been the means of educating colored men in the south to be good mechanics and that a little pains and search on their part might have brought to light colored carpenters in the south who would have done the work as efficiently as those whom they employed. But as the trustees were not very far-sighted men they did the most available thing that came to hand the employee to white men. Mr. Thomas, pastor, applied to the master builder for a place for his parishioner. Can you give employment to one of my members on our church? Reverend Mr. Delomax asked the master builder. I would willingly do so but I cannot. Why not? Because my men would all rise up against it. Now for my part I have no prejudice against your parishioner but my men will not work with a colored man. I would let them all go if I could get enough colored men to suit me just as well but such as the condition of the labor market that a man must either submit to a number of unpalatable things or run the risk of a strike in being boycotted. I think some of these men who want so much liberty for themselves have very little idea of it for other people. After this conversation the minister told Mr. Thomas the result of his interview with the master builder and said I'm very sorry but it is as it is and it can't be any better. Do you mean by that that things are always going to remain as they are? I do not see any quick way out of it. This prejudice is the outgrowth of ages. It did not come in a day nor do I expect that it will vanish in an hour. Nor do I but I do not think the best way for a people to mend their pastures is to sit down and bewail their fate. No we must be up and going for ourselves. White people will. White people exclaim Mr. Thomas somewhat impatiently. Is there not a great deal of bosh in the estimate some of us have formed of white people? We share a common human feeling from which the same cause produces the same effect. Why am I today a social pariah begging for work and refuse situation after situation? My father is a wealthy southerner. He has several other sons who are inheritors of his name and heirs of his wealth. They are educated, cultured and occupy high social positions. Had I not as good a right to be well born as any of them and yet through my father's crime I was doomed to the status of a slave with his heritage of ignorance, poverty and social debasement. Talk of the heathenism of Africa of hostile tribes warring upon each other and selling the conquered foes into the hands of white men but how much higher in the scale of moral progression was the white man who doomed his own child bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh to a life of slavery. The heathen could plead in his defense the fortunes of war and the hostility of an opposing tribe but the white man who enslaved his child warred upon his hapless offspring and wrote chattel upon his condition when his hand was too feeble to hurl aside the accursed hand and recognize no other ownership but God. I once felt bitterly on this subject and although it is impossible for my father to make full reparation for the personal wrong inflicted on me I owe him no grudge hating his poor employment for any rational being but I'm not prepared to glorify him at the expense of my mother's race.  Heathenism and civilization live side by side on American soil but all the heathenism is not on the side of the negro look at slavery and coup-cruxism with their meanness and crimes Mormonism with his vile abominations lynched law with his burnings and hangings our national policy in regard to the Indians and Chinese I do not think so the minister that there is another civilized country in the world where men are lynched for real or supposed crimes outside of America the negro need not bow his head like a bull rush in the presence of a race whose records are as stained by crime and dishonor as theirs let others decry the negro and say hard things about him I'm not prepared to join in the course of depreciation after parting with the minister mr thomas resolved if pluck and energy were of any avail that he would leave no stone unturned in seeking employment he searched the papers carefully for advertisements walked from one workshop to the other looking for work and was eventually met with a refusal which meant no negro need apply at last one day when he had tried almost every workshop in the place he entered the establishment of William C. Nell an Englishman who had not been long enough in America to be fully saturated by its christless and inhuman prejudices he was willing to give mr thomas work and put tools in his hands and while watching how definitely he handled them he did not notice the indignant scowls on the faces of his workmen and their murmurs of disapprobation as they uttered their dissatisfaction one to the other at length they took off their aprons laid down their tools and asked to be discharged from work why what does this mean as the astounded Englishman it means that we will not work with a nigger why i don't understand what is the matter with him why there's nothing the matter only he's a nigger and we never put niggers on any quality with us and we never will but i'm a stranger in this country and i don't understand you well he's a nigger and we don't want niggers for nothing would you have your daughter mary a nigger oh go back to your work i never thought of such a thing i think the nigger must be an unfortunate man and i do not wish my daughter to marry any unfortunate man but if you do not want to work with him i will put him by himself there's room enough on the premises will that suit you any better no we won't work for a man who employs a nigger the builder bit his lip he had come to america hearing that it was a land of liberty but he had found an undreamed of tyranny which had entered his workshop and controlled his choice of workmen and as much as he deprecated the injustice it was the dictum of officiated public opinion that his field of occupation should be closed against the nigger and he felt that he was forced either to give up his business or submit to the decree mr thomas then thought my money is vanishing schoolrooms and workshops are closed against me i will not beg and i cannot resort to any questionable means for bread i will now take any position or do any work by which i can make an honest living just as he was looking gloomily at the future an old schoolmate laid his hand upon his shoulder and said how do you do old fellow i've not seen you for a week of sundays what are you driving at now oh nothing in particular i'm looking for work well now this is just the ticket i've just returned from the pacific coast and while i was there i did splendidly everything i touched turned to gold and now i have a good job on hand if you are not too squeamish to take it i have just set up a tip-top restaurant and saloon and have some of the best merchants of the city as my customers and i want a first-rate clerk you are always good at figures and if you will accept the place come with me right away since high license went into operation i'm making money hand over a fist it is just like the big fish eating up the little fish i'm doing a rushing business and i want you to do my clerking the first thought which rustin through mr. thomas's mind was is the servant a dog that he should do this thing but he restrained his indignation and said no frank i cannot accept your offer i'm a temperance man and a pro-business and i would rather have my hands clean than to have them foul you are a greater milks up than i gave you credit for here you are hunting work and find door after door closed against you not because you are not but because you are colored and here am i offering you easy employment and good wages and you refuse them frank said mr. thomas i'm a poor man but i would rather rise up early and sit up late and eat the bread of carelessness than to roll in wealth by keeping a liquor saloon and i'm determined that no drunkard shall ever charge me with having helped drag him down to misery shame and death no drunkard's wife shall ever lay the wreck of her home at my door my business said frank miller is a legitimate one there's money in it and i'm after that if people will drink too much and make fools of themselves i can't help it it is none of my business and if i don't sell to them other people will i don't think much of a man who does not know how to govern himself but it is no use arguing with you when you are once set in your ways good morning end of chapter 11 chapter 12 of trial and triumph by francis e w harper this libra vox recording is in the public domain it was a gala day in tennis court annette had passed a highly successful examination and was to graduate from the normal school and as a matter of course her neighbors wanted to hear annette speak her peace as they call the commencement theme and also to see how she was going to behave before all them people they were generally speaking too unaspiring to feel envious toward any one of their race who excelled them intellectually and so there was little or no jealousy of annette in tennis court in fact some of her neighbors felt a kind of pride in the thought that tennis court would turn out a girl who could stand on the same platform and graduate alongside of some of their employers daughters if they could not stand there themselves they were proud that one of their race could i feel said one like the boy when someone threatened to slap off his face who said you can slap off my face but i have a big brother and you can't slap off his face and strangers it may appear annette received more encouragement from a class of honest hearted but ignorant and well meaning people who knew her than she did from some of the most cultured and intelligent people of ap nor was it very strange they were living too near the poverty ignorance and social debasement of the past to have developed much raised pride and a glowing enthusiasm in its progress and development although they were of african descent they were americans whose thoughts were too much americanized to be holy free from imbibing the social atmosphere with which they were in constant contact in their sphere of enjoyments the literature they read was mostly from the hands of white men who would paint them in any colors which suited their prejudices or predilections the religious ideas they had embraced came at first thought from the same sources though they may have undergone modifications in passing through their channels of thought and it must be a remarkable man or a woman who thinks an age ahead of the generation in which his or her lot is cast and who plans and works for the future on the basis of that clearer vision nor is it to be wondered at if under the circumstances some of the more cultured of ap thought it absurd to look for anything remarkable to come out of the black Nazareth of tennis court her neighbors had an idea that annette was very smart that she had a great headpiece but unless she left ap to teach school elsewhere they did not see what good her education was going to do her it wasn't going to put any meal in the barrel nor any potatoes in the bin even mrs. Larkins relaxed her ancient hostility to annette and opened her heart to present her with a basket of flowers and that within the last year had become very much changed in her conduct and character she'd become friendly in her manner and consider it in her behavior to mrs. Larkins since she had entered the church during a protracted meeting and that was rather crude in her religious views but here again mrs. Lassette became her faithful friend and advisor in dealing with a young convert she thought more was needed than getting her into the church and making her feel that the moment she rose from the altar with rejoicing on her lips that she was a full-blown christian that to mrs. Lassette was the initial step in the narrow way left luminous by the bleeding feet of christ and what the young convert needed was to be taught how to walk worthy of her high calling and to make her life a thing of usefulness and faithfulness to god and man a growth in grace and in the saving knowledge of our lord jesus christ simply attired in a dress which mrs. Lassette thought fitted for the occasion and that took her seat quietly on the platform and calmly waited till her turn came her subject was announced the mission of the negro it was a remarkable production for a girl of her age at first she portrayed an african family seated beneath their bamboo huts and spreading palms the light steps of the young men and maidens tripping to music dance and song their past time suddenly broken upon by the tramp of the merchants of flesh and blood the capture of defenseless people suddenly surprised in the midst of their sports the cries of distress the crackling of flames the cruel oaths of reckless men eager for gold though they coined it from tears and extracted it from blood the crowding of the slave ships the horrors of the middle passage the landing of the ill-fated captives were vividly related and the sad story of ages of bondage it seemed as if the sorrow of centuries was sobbing in her voice then the scene changed and like a grand triumphal march she recounted the deliverance of the negro and the wondrous change which had come over his condition the slave pen exchanged for the free school the fetters on his wrist for the ballot in his right hand then her voice grew musical when she began to speak of the mission of the negro his mission she said is grandly constructive some races had been architects of destruction but their mission was to build over the ruins of the dead past the most valuable thing that a man or a woman could possess on earth and that is good character that mission should be to bless and not to curse to lift up the banner of the christian religion from the mire and dust into which slavery and pride of caste had trailed it and to hold it up as an ensign of hope and deliverance to other races of the world of whom the greater portion were not white people it seemed as if an inspiration lit up the young face her eye glowed with unwanted fervor it seemed as if she had fused her whole soul into the subject which was full of earnestness and enthusiasm her theme was the sensation of the hour men grew thoughtful and attentive women tender and sympathetic as they heard this member of a once despised people recount the trials and triumphs of her race and the hopes that gathered around their future the day before annette graduated mr. thomas had met a friend of his at mrs. lasette's who had lately returned from an extensive tour he had mingle with many people and had acquired a large store of information mr. thomas had invited him to accompany him to the commencement he had expected that annette would acquit herself creditably but she had far exceeded his most sanguine expectations clarence luzern had come because his friend mr. thomas had invited him and because he and mrs. lasette had taken such great interest in annette's welfare and his curiosity was excited to see how she would acquit herself and compare with the other graduates he did not have much faith in graduating essays he had heard a number of such compositions at commencements which had inspired him with glowing hopes for the future of the authors which he had never seen realized and he had come more to gratify mr. thomas than to please himself but if he came through curiosity he remained through interest which had become more and more absorbing as she proceeded clarence said mr. thomas to his friend noticing the deep interest he was manifesting are you entranced you appear perfectly spellbound well i am i'm really delighted and indebted to you for a rare and unexpected pleasure why that young lady gave the finest production that i've heard this morning i hardly think she could have written it herself it seems wonderful that a girl of her age should have done it so well you are a great friend of hers now own up are not your finger marks upon it i wouldn't tell it out of our ranks but i don't think she wrote that all herself who do you think wrote it for her mrs. lasette i do not think so mrs. lasette is a fine writer but that nervous fervent and impassioned style is so unlike hers that i do not think she wrote one line of it though she might have overlooked it and made some suggestions but even if it were so that someone else wrote it we know that no one else delivered it and that her delivery was excellent that is so why she excelled all the other girls you know what was the difference between her and the other girls no what was it said mr. thomas they wrote from their heads she wrote from her heart and that has begun to think she has been left a great deal to herself and in her loneliness she has developed a thoughtfulness past her years and i think that a love for her race and a desire to serve it has become a growing passion in her soul her heart has supplied her intellect i think from what you say that i get the true clue to the power and pay those with which she spoke this morning and that accounts for her wonderful success yes said mr. bluzern it is the inner life which develops the outer life and just such young people as annette make me more hopeful of the future of the race mrs. lasette witnessed annette's graduation with intense interest and pleasure grandmother harcourt looked at the very impersonation of satisfaction as she gathered up the floral gifts and modestly waited while annette received the pleasant compliments of admiring friends at his request mr. thomas introduced mr. bluzern to annette who in the most gracious and affable manner tended to annette his hearty congratulations which she modestly received and for the time being all went merry as a marriage bell end of chapter 12 chapter 13 of trial and triumph by frances c w harper this liberal box recording is in the public domain chapter 13 what a fool he is to refuse my offer thought the saloon keeper what a pity it is mr. thomas to himself that a man of his education and ability should be engaged in such a cursed business after refusing the saloon keeper's offer mr. thomas found a job of work it was not a job congenial to his feelings but his motto was if i do not see an opening i will make one after he had turned from mr englishman's workshop burning with a sense of wrong which he felt powerless to overcome he went on to the levy and looked around to see if any work might be picked up by him as a day laborer he saw a number of men singing joking implying their tasks with nimble feet and apparently no other care upon their minds than meeting the demands of the present hour and for a moment he almost envied their lightheartedness and he thought within himself where all men are born blind no man misses the light these men are consented with privileges and i who have fitted myself for a different sphere in life and chafing because i am denied rights the right to sell my labor in any workshop in this city same as the men of other nationalities and to receive with them a fair day's wages for a fair day's work but he was strong and healthy and he was too high spirited to sit moping at home depending upon his mother to divide with him her scanty means till something should turn up the first thing that presented itself to him was the job of helping unload a boat which had landed at the wharf and a hand was needed to assist in unloading her mr thomas accepted the position and went to work and labored manfully at the unaccustomed task that being finished the merchant for whom he had done the work hired him to labor in his warehouse he showed himself very handy in making slight repairs when needed and being ready to turn his hand to any service out of his routine of work hammering a nail adjusting a disordered lock and showing a general concern in his employer's interests one day his employer had engaged a carpenter to make him a counter but the man instead of attending to his work had been off on a drunken spree and neglected to do the job the merchant vexed at the unnecessary delay said to mr thomas in a bantering manner i believe you can do almost anything couldn't you make this counter mr thomas answered quite modestly i believe i could if i had my tools tools what do you mean by tools mr thomas told him how he learned to be a carpenter in the south and how he had tried so unsuccessfully in the north to get an opportunity to work at his trade until discouraged with the attempt he had made up his mind to take whatever work came to hand till he could see farther the merchant immediately procured the materials and set mr thomas to work who in a short time finished the counter and showed by his workmanship that he was an excellent carpenter the merchant pleased with his work and satisfied with his ability interested him with the erection of a warehouse and strangers it may appear some of those men who were too proud or foolish to work with him as a fellow laborer were humble enough to work under him as journeymen when he was down they were ready to kick him down when he was up they were ready to receive his helping hand mr thomas soon reached that tide in his affairs which taken at the flood leads on to fortune against the odds which were against him his pluck and perseverance prevailed and he was enabled not only to build up a good business for himself but also to help others and to teach them by his own experience not to be too easily discouraged but to trust to pluck more than luck and learn in whatever capacity they were employed to do their work heartily as unto the lord and not unto men anxious to do what she could to benefit the community in which she lived mrs lissette threw open her parlors for the gathering together of the best thinkers and workers of the race who choose to avail themselves of the privilege of meeting to discuss any question of vital importance to the welfare of the colored people of the nation knowing the entail of ignorance which slavery had left them she could not be content by shutting up herself to mere social enjoyments within the shadow of her home and often the words would seem to ring within her soul my people is destroyed for lack of knowledge and with those words would come the question am i doing what i can to dispel the darkness which has hung for centuries around our path i've been blessed with privileges which were denied others i sat mid the light of knowledge when some of my ill-fated sisters did not know what it was to see daylight in their cabins from one week's end to the other sometimes when she met with coldness and indifference where she least expected it she would grow sad but would not yield to discouragement her heart was in the right place freely she had received and freely she would give it was at one of Mrs. Lassette's gatherings that Mr. Thomas met Reverend Mr. Lomax on whose church he had been refused to place and Mr. Thurman a tradesman who also had been ousted from his position through pride of caste and who had gone into another avocation and also Charlie Cooper of whom we have lost sight for a number of years he is now a steady and prosperous young man a constant visitor at Mrs. Lassette's rumor says that Mrs. Lassette's bright eye and lovely daughter is the magnet which attracts him to their pleasant home Reverend Lomax has also been absent for several years on other charges but when he meets Mr. Thomas the past flows back and the incidents of their latest interviews naturally take their place in the conversation it has been sometimes since we met said Mr. Thomas hardly shaking the minister's hand how has life used you since last we met said Reverend Lomax to Mr. Thomas are you well perfectly well I've had a varied experience since I met you but I have no reason to complain and I think my experience has been invaluable to me and with this larger experience and closer observation I feel that I am more able to help others and that I feel has been one of my most valued acquirements I sometimes think of members of our people in some directions as sheep without a shepherd and I do wish from the bottom of my heart that I knew the best way to help them you do not set the minister somewhat anxiously ignore the power of the pulpit no I do not I only wish it had tenfold force I wish we had 10 000 ministers like Oberlin who was not ashamed to take the lead in opening a road from Banderos to Strasburg a distance of several miles to bring his parishioners in contact with the trade and business of a neighboring village I hope the time will come when every minister in building a church which he consecrates to the worship of God will build alongside of it or under the same roof perish buildings or rooms to be dedicated to the special wants of our people in their peculiar condition I do wish Brother Lomax those costly buildings which you erect will cover more needs and wants of our people than some of them do now what would you have in them I would have a parish building to every church and I would have in them an evening home for boys I would have some persons come in and teach them different handicrafts so as at least to give them an opportunity to be more expert in learning how to use their hands I would have that building a well warm and well lighted room in winter where all should be welcome to come and get a sandwich and a warm cup of tea or coffee and a hot bowl of soup and if the garage shops were selling liquor for five cents I would sell the soup for three or four cents with a roll I would have a room reserved for such ladies as Mrs. Lisette who are so willing to help for the purpose of holding mothers meetings I would try to have the church the great center of moral spiritual and intellectual life for the young and try to present counter attractions to the debasing influence of the low grog shops gambling dens and houses of ill fame part of our city ought I can find myself too saying part of the city has not the whole city been cursed by rum but I now refer to a special part I have seen church after church move out of that part of the city where the nuisance and curse were so rife but I never to my knowledge heard of one of those churches offering to build a reading room and evening home for boys or to send out paid and sustained by their efforts a single woman to go into rum cursed homes and teach their inmates a more excellent way I would have in that parish building the most earnest men and women to come together and consult and counsel with each other on the best means to open for ourselves doors which are still closed against us I am sure said the minister I am willing to do what I can for the temporal and spiritual welfare of our people and in this I have the example of the great physician who did not consider it beneath him to attend to physical maladies as well as spiritual needs and who did not consider the synagogue to holy nor the Sabbath day to sacred to administer to the destitute and suffering I was very sorry when I found out brother Thomas but I could not have you employed on my church but I do not see what else I could have done except submit that was all you could have done in that stage of the work when I applied and I do not wish to bestow the slightest censure on you or the trustees of your church but I think if when you were about to build had you advertised for competent master builders in the south that you could have gotten enough to have built a church without having employed Mr. Hoog the master builder had you been able to have gone to him and said we are about to build a church and it is more convenient for us to have it done by our citizens than to send abroad for laborers we are in communication with a colored master builder in Kentucky who is known as an efficient workman and who would be glad to get the job and if your men refuse to work with a colored man our only alternative will be to send for colored carpenters and put the building in their hands do you think he would have refused a thirty thousand dollar job just because some of his men refused to work with colored men I think the greater portion of his workmen would have held their prejudices in abeyance rather than let a thirty thousand dollar job slip out of their hands now here's another thing in which I think United effort could have affected something now here is my friend Mr. Thurman he was a saddler first in both branches of harness making for a while he got steady work in a saddler's shop but the prejudice against him was so great that his employer was forced to dismiss him he took work home but that did not heal the dissatisfaction and at last he gave it up and went to well digging now there were colored men in that place who could have as I think invested some money in buying material and helped him not as a charity but as a mere business operation to set up a place for himself he had the skill they had the money and had they united both perhaps today there would be a flourishing business carried on by the man who is now digging wells for a living I do hope that sometime there will be some better modes of communication between us than we now possess that a labor bureau will be established not as a charity among us but as a business with capable and efficient men who will try to find out the different industries that will employ men irrespective of color and advertise and find steady and reliable colored men to fill them colored men in the south are largely employed in raising cotton and other produce why should there not be more openings in the cell for colored men to handle the merchandise and profit by it what hinders said Reverend Lomax I will not say what hinders but I will say what I think you can try to do to help teach our young to dedicate their young lives to the noble service of devoting them to the service of our common cause to throw away their cigars dash down the foaming beer and sparkling wine and strive to be more like those of whom it was said I write unto you young men because you are strong end of chapter 13 chapter 14 of trial and triumph by Francis C. W. Harper this LibriVox recording is in the public domain chapter 14 grandmother Harcourt was failing and that was rising towards life's summit her grandmother was sinking to death's veil the hours are rifting day by day strength from the walls of living clay her two children who were living in AP wished her to break up her home and come and live with them they had room in their hearts and homes for her but not for Annette there was something in Annette's temperament with which other members of the family could not harmonize they were not considered enough to take into account her anti-natal history and to pity where they were so ready to condemn had Annette been born deficient in any of her bodily organs they could have made allowance for her and would have deemed it cruel to have demanded that she should have performed the same amount of labor with one hand that she could have done with both they knew nothing of heredity except its effects which they were not thoughtful enough to trace back to the causes over which Annette had no control and instead of trying to counteract them as one might strive to do in a case of inherited physical tendencies they only aggravated and constantly strengthened all the unlovely features in Annette's character and Annette really seemed like an anomalous contradiction there was a duality about her nature as if the blood of two races were mingling in her veins to some persons Annette was loving and lovable bright intelligent obliging and companionable to others unsociable unamiable and repelling her art was like a harp which sent out its harmonious discords in accordance with the moods of the player who touched its chords to some who swept them it gave out tender and touching melody to others its harshest and saddest discords did not the psalmist look beneath the mechanism of the body to the constitution of the soul when he said that we are fearfully and wonderfully made but the hour came when all discussion was ended as to who was to shelter the dear old grandmother in her declining years mrs. Harcourt was suddenly paralyzed and in a few days Annette stood doubly orphaned grandmother Harcourt's children gathered around the bedside of their dying mother she was conscious but unable to speak occasionally her eyes would rest lovingly upon Annette and then turned wistfully to her children several times she essayed to speak but the words died upon her lips her eldest son entered the room just as life was trembling on its faintest chords she recognized him and gathering up her remaining strength she placed his hand on Annette's and tried again to speak he understood her and said very tenderly mother I will look after Annette all the care faded from the dear old face amid the shadows that never deceived flitted a smile of peace and contentment the fading eye lit up with a sudden gaze of joy and wonder she reached out her hand as if to meet a welcome and precious friend and then the radiant face grew deathly pale the outstretched hands relaxed their position and with a smile just such a smile as might greet a welcoming angel her spirit passed out into the eternities and Annette felt as she had never felt before that she was all alone the love that had surrounded and watched over her born with her perverseness and sheltered her in its warm clasp was gone it had faded suddenly from her vision and left in its stead a dull and heavy pain after the funeral mrs. Harcourt's children returned to the house where they quietly but earnestly discussed the question what shall be done with Annette mrs. Hansen's house was rather small that is it was rather small for Annette she would have found room in her house if she only had room in her heart for her she had nursed her mother through her sickness and said with unnatural coldness I've got rid of one trouble and I do not want another another sister who lives some distance from AP would have taken Annette but she knew that other members of her family would object as they would be fearful that Annette would be an apple of discord among them at length her uncle Thomas decided that she should go with him he felt that his mother had died with the assurance on her mind that he would care for Annette and he resolved to be faithful in accepting what was to him the imposition of a new burden on his shoulders his wife was a cold and unsympathizing woman she was comfortably situated but did not wish that comfort invaded by her husband's relations in household matters her husband generally deferred to her judgment but here was no other alternative than that of taking Annette under the shadow of his home or leaving her unprotected in the wide world and he was too merciful and honorable to desert Annette in her saddest hour of need having determined that Annette should share his home he knew that it was advisable to tell his wife about his decision and to prepare her for Annette's coming well said Dr Harcourt's wife after her husband's return from the funeral what are you going to do with Annette she is coming here said Dr Harcourt quietly and firmly coming here said Mrs Harcourt looking aghast i think at least you might have consulted me that is true my dear i would have gladly done so had you been present when the decision was made but where are her aunts and where was your brother John why didn't they take her John was at home sick with the rheumatism and sister Jane did not appear to be willing to have her come i guess Jane is like i am got enough to do to look after her own family and sister Eliza said she hadn't any room no room when she has eight rooms in her house and only two children she could have made room for her had she chosen maybe her husband wasn't willing oh it is no such thing i know John Hansen better than that Eliza is the head man of that house and just leads him by the nose wherever she wants him to go and besides Mrs Lord's daughter is there pretending to pay board but i don't believe that she pays it one half the time she is company for Alice and they all seem very fond of her i do get so sick of that girl man being and jam being about that family calling Eliza and her husband ma and pa i haven't a bit of faith in her but i confess that i'm not very much pre-possessed in her favor she just puts me in mind of a pussycat purring around you well now as to Annette you do not want her here not if i can help it but can't she help you to work she could if she knew how if wishes were horses beggars might ride your mother made a great mistake in bringing Annette up Annette has a good education but when that is said all is said why my dear mother was an excellent housekeeper did she not teach Annette your mother was out a great deal as a sick nurse and when she went away from home she generally boarded Annette with a friend who did not as your mother paid her good board exact any service from Annette and while with her she never learned to make a loaf of bread or to cook a beef steak and when your mother was at home when she set Annette to do any work if she did it awkwardly and clumsily she would take it out of her hand and do it herself rather than bother with her and now i suppose i am to have all the bother and worry with her well my dear oh don't come during me and bringing me all this trouble well my dear i don't see how it could be helped i could not leave Annette in the house all by herself i couldn't afford to make myself the town's talk maybe things will turn out better than you expect we've got children of our own and we don't know when we are gone how they will fare that is true but i never mean to bring my children up in such a way that they will be no use anywhere and no one will want them well i don't see any other way than bringing Annette here well if i must i must she said with an air of despondency dr harcourt wrote over to his sisters where Annette was spending the day and brought the doubly orphan girl to his home as she entered the room it seemed as though a chill struck to her heart when her aunt bade her good morning there was no warm pressure in the extended hand no loving light in the cold unsympathizing eyes which seemed to stab her through and through the children either inquisitively as if wishing to understand her status with their parents before they became sociable with her after supper annette's uncle went out and her aunt sat quietly and sewed till bedtime and then showed annette to her room and left the lonely girl to herself and her great sorrow annette sat silent tearless and alone grief had benumbed her faculties she had sometimes said when grandmother had scolded her that she was growing cross and cold but uh what would she not have given to have had the death created silence broken by that dear departed voice to have felt the touch of a vanished hand to have seen again the loving glance of the death darkened eye but it was all over no tears dimmed her eye as she sat thinking so mournfully of her great sorrow till she unfastened from her neck a little keepsake containing a lock of grandmother's hair then all the floodgates of her soul were opened and she threw herself upon her bed and sobbed herself to sleep in the morning she awoke with that sense of loss and dull agony which only they know who have seen the grave close over all they have held dearest on earth the beautiful home of her uncle was very different from the humble apartments here she missed all the freedom and sunshine that she had enjoyed beneath the shelter of her grandmother's roof can you so said her aunt to ennet as she laid on the table a package of handkerchiefs yes ma'am let me see how you can do this handing her one to him and let him the handkerchief nicely her aunt examined it put it down and gave her some others to him but there was no word of encouragement for her not even a pleasant well done they both relapsed into silence between them there was no pleasant interchange of thought and that was tolerated and endured but she did not feel that she was loved and welcomed it was no place to which she could invite her young friends to spend a pleasant evening once she invited some of her young friends to her home but she soon found that it was a liberty which she should be careful never to repeat soon after annette came to live with her aunt her aunt's mother had a social gathering and reunion of the members of her family all dr harcourt's children were invited from the least of the greatest but poor annette was left behind mrs lissette who happened in the house the evening before the entertainment asked is not annette going when mrs harcourt replied very coldly she is not one of the family referring to her mother's family circle a shadow flitted over the face of mrs lissette she thought of her own daughter and how sad it would be to have her live in such a chilly atmosphere of social repression and neglect at a period of life when there was so much danger that false friendship might spread their lures for her inexperienced feet i will criticize she said to herself by creation i too have some social influence if not among the careless wine bibbing ease loving votaries of fashion among some of the most substantial people of ap and as long as annette preserves her erectitude at my house she shall be a welcome guest and into that saddened life i will bring all the sunshine that i can end of chapter 14 chapter 15 of trial and triumph by frances e w harper this libra vox recording is in the public domain chapter 15 well mama said mrs lissette's daughter to her mother i cannot understand why you take so much interest in annette she's very unpopular scares the any of the girls ever go with her and even her cousin never calls for her to go to church or anywhere else and i sometimes feel so sorry to see her so much by herself and some of the girls when i went with her to the exposition said that they wouldn't have asked her to have gone with them that she isn't our set poor job mrs lissette replied i'm sorry for her i hope that you will never treat her unkindly and i do not think if you knew the sad story connected with her life that you would ever be unkind enough to add to the burden she has been forced to bear but mama annette is so touchy her aunt says that her tear bags must lay near her eyes and that she will cry if you look at her and that she is the strangest out of creature she ever saw and i heard she did not wish her to come why my dear child who has been gossiping to you about your neighbors why do you thomas well my daughter don't talk after her gossip is liable to degenerate into evil speaking and then i think it tends to degrade and belittle the mind to dwell on the effects and imperfections of our neighbors learn to dwell on the things that are just and true and of good report but i'm sorry for annette poor child what makes her so strange do you know yes said mrs lissette somewhat absently if you do won't you tell me again mrs lissette answered in the same absent manner why mama what is the matter with you you say yes to everything and yet you are not paying any attention to anything that i say you seem like someone who hears but does not listen who sees but does not look your face reminds me of the time when i showed you the picture of a shipwreck and you said my brother's boat went down in just such a fearful storm my dear child said mrs lissette rousing up from a mournful reverie i was thinking of a wreck sadder far sadder than the picture you showed me it was the mournful wreck of a blighted life whose life mama the life of annette's grandmother we were girls together and i loved her dearly mrs lissette replied his tears gathered in her eyes when she recalled one of the saddest memories of her life do tell me all about it for i am full of curiosity my child i want this story to be more than food for your curiosity i want it to be a lesson and a warning to you annette's grandmother was left to struggle as breadwinner for a half dozen children when her husband died then there were not as many openings for colored girls as there are now our chief resource was the field of domestic service and circumstances compelled annette's mother to live out as we called it in those days we did not look down upon a girl and try to ostracize her from our social life if she was forced to be a servant if she was poor and respectable we valued her for what she was rather than for what she possessed of course we girls like to dress nicely but fine clothes was not the chief passport to our society and yet i think on the whole that our social life would compare favorably with yours in good character if not in intellectual attainments our dear old mothers were generally ignorant of books but they did try to teach good manners and good behavior but i do not think they saw the danger around the paths of the inexperienced with the same clearness of vision we now do mrs harcourt had unbounded confidence in her children as my mother thought gave her girls too much rain in their own hands our mother was more strict with her daughters and when we saw mrs harcourt's daughters having what we considered such good times i used to say oh i wish mother wasn't so particular other girls could go unattended to excursions moonlight drives and parties of pleasure but we never went to any such pleasure unless we were attended by our father brother or some trusted friend of the family we were young and foolish then and used to chafe against her restrictions but today when i think of my own good and noble husband my little bright and happy home and my dear loving daughter i look back with gratitude to her thoughtful care and honor and bless her memory in her grave poor lucy harcourt was not so favored she was pretty unattractive and had quite a number of admirers at length she became deeply interested in a young man who came as a stranger to our city he was a fine-looking man but there was something about him from which i instinctively shrank my mother felt the same way and warned us to be careful how we accepted any attention from him but poor lucy became perfectly infatuated with him and it was rumored that they were to be shortly married soon after the rumor he left the city and there was a big change in lucy's manner i could not tell what was the matter but my mother forbade me associating with her and for several months i scarcely saw her but i could hear from others that she was sadly changed instead of being one of the most light-hearted girls i heard that she used to sit day after day in her mother's house and wring her hands and weep and that her mother's heart was almost broken friends feared that lucy was losing her mind and might do some desperate deed but she did not i left about that time to teach school in a distant village and when i returned home i heard sad tidings of poor lucy she was a mother but not a wife her brothers had grown angry with her for tarnishing their family name of which they were so proud her mother's head was bowed with agony and shame the father of lucy's child had deserted her in her hour of trial and left her to bear her burden alone with a child like a millstone around her neck poor lucy i seldom saw her after that but one day i met her in the park i went up to her and kissed her she threw her arms around me and burst into a flood of tears i tried to restrain her from giving such vent to her feelings it was a lack of self-control which had placed her where she was oh anna she said it does me so much good to hold your hand in mine once more it reminds me of the days when we used to be together oh what would i give to recall those days i said to her lucy you can never recall the past but you can try to redeem the future try to be a faithful mother men may build over the wreck and ruin of their young lives a better and brighter future why it should not a woman let the dead pass periods dead and live in the future for the sake of your child she seemed so grateful for what i had said others had treated her with scorn her brother thomas had refused to speak to her her betrayer had forsaken her all the joyousness had faded from her life and poor girl i was glad that i was able to say a helpful and helpful word to her mother of course would not let us associate with her but she always treated her kindly when she came and did what she could to lighten the burden which was pressing her down to the grave but poor child she was never again the same lighthearted girl she grew pale and thin and in the hectic flush and faltering tread i read the death sound of early decay and i felt that my misguided young friend was slowly dying of a broken heart then there came a day when we were summoned to her dying bed her brothers and sisters were present all their resentment against her had vanished in the presence of death she was their dear sister about to leave them and they bent in tearful sorrow around her couch as one of her brothers who was a good singer entered the room she asked him to sing vital spark of heavenly flame he attempted to sing but there were tremors in his voice and he faltered in the midst of the hymn won't you sing for your dying sister again he has said to sing but his voice became choked with emotion and he ceased and burst into tears her brother thomas who had been so hard and cold and had refused to speak to her now wept and sobbed like a child but lucy smiled as she bade them goodbye and exclaimed welcome death the end of fear i am prepared to die a sweet peace settled down on her face and lucy had exchanged i hope the sorrow and pain of life for the peace and rest of heaven and left annette too young to know her loss do you wonder then my child that i feel such an interest in annette and that knowing as i do her anti natal history that i'm ever ready to pity where others condemn and that i want to do what i can to help round out in beauty and usefulness the character of that sinned against and disinherited child whose restlessness and sensitiveness i traced back to causes over which she had no control what became a frank miller you say that when he returned to ap that society opened its doors to him while they were close to annette's mother i don't understand it was he not as guilty as she was guilty or i think if poor lucy failed as a woman she tried to be faithful as a mother while he faithless as a man left her to bear her burden alone she was frail as a woman but he was base mean and selfish as a man how was it that society received him so readily all did not receive him so readily but with some his money like charity covered a multitude of sins but from the depths of my heart i despised him i'd not then learned to hate the sin with all my heart and yet the sinner love to me he was the incarnation of social meanness and vice and just as i felt i acted we young folks had met at a social gathering and were engaged in a past time in which we occasionally clasped hands together some of these plays i heartily disliked especially when there was romping and promiscuous kissing during the play frank miller's hand came in contact with mine and he pressed it i can hardly describe my feelings it seemed as if my very veins were on fire and that every nerve was thrilling with repulsion and indignation had i seen him murder lucy and then turn with blood dripping hands to grasp mine i do not think that i should have felt more loathing than i did when his hand clasped mine i felt that his very touch was pollution i immediately left the plate or off my glove and threw it in the fire oh mother how could you've done so you are so good and gentle mrs the set replied i was not always so i do not hate his sin any less now than i did then but i think that i've learned a christian charity which would induce me to pluck such as he out of the fire while i hated the garments spotted by his sins i sat down trembling with emotion i heard a murmur of disapprobation there was a check to the gait of the evening frank miller bowled in bad as he was looked crestfallen and uneasy some who appeared to be more careful of the manners of society than his moral said that i was very rude others said that i was too prudish and would be an old maid that i was looking for perfection in young men and would not find it the young men sew their wild oats and that i was more nice than wise and that i would frighten the gentleman away from me i told them if the young men were so easily frightened that i did not wish to clasp hands for life with any such timid set and that i was determined that i would have a moral husband or none that i was not obliged to be married but that i was obliged to be true to my conscience that when i married i expected to lay the foundation of a new home and that i would never trust my future happiness in the hands of a libertine or lay his foundations over the reeling brain of a drunkard and i determined that i would never marry a man for whose vices i must blush and whose crimes i must condone that while i might bend to grief i would not bow to shame that if i brought him character and virtue he should give me true manhood and honor in return and i think mother that you got it when you married father i'm satisfied that i did and the respect and appreciation my daughter has for her father is only part of my life's reward but it was my dear mother who taught me to distinguish between the true and the false and although she was not what you call educated she taught me that no magnificence of fortune would atone for meanness of spirit that without character the most wealthy and talented man is a bankrupting soul and she taught me how to be worthy of a true man's love and i think you have succeeded splendidly thank you my darling but mother has become used through compliments end of chapter 15 chapter 16 of trial and triumph by francis e w harper this libra vox recording is in the public domain chapter 16 i do not think she gets any more than she deserves said mistyla said entering the room she is one of whom it may be said her children arise up and call her blessed her husband also and he prays of her many daughters have done virtuously but thou excelest them all i do not think you will say that i am excelling if i do not haste about your supper you are not home to dinner and must be hungry by this time and it has been said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach oh isn't that a libel on my sex papa said laura less said after her mother had left the room did you know frank miller mother was telling me about him but she did not finish what became of him now you ask me two questions in one breath let me answer one at a time well papa i'm all attention do i know frank miller the saloon keeper yes he is connected with a turning point in my life how so well just be patient a minute and i will tell you i was almost a stranger in ap when i first met your mother it was at a social where frank miller was a guest i'd heard some very damaging reports concerning his reputation but from the manner in which he was received in society i concluded that i had been misinformed surely i thought if the man is as vicious as he has been represented good women while they pity him will shrink instinctively from him but i saw to my surprise that with a confident and unblushing manner he moved among what was called the elite of the place and that instead of being withheld the tensions were lavaged upon him i had lived most of my life in a small inland town where people were old fashioned enough to believe in honor and upright conduct and from what i had heard of frank miller i was led to despise his vices and detest his character and yet here were women whom i believe to be good and virtuous smiling in his face and graciously receiving his attentions i cannot help thinking that in their case evil is wrought by want of thought as well as want of heart they were not conscious of the influence they might exert by being true to their own womanhood men like frank miller are the deadliest foes of women one of the best and strongest safeguards of the home is the integrity of its women and he who undermines that strikes a fearful blow at the highest and best interests of society society is woman's realm and i never could understand how if a woman really loves purity for its own worth and loveliness she can socially tolerate men whose lives are ashamed and whose conduct in society is a blasting withering curse but papa tell me how you came to love my mother but i don't see how you could have helped it that's just it my daughter i loved her because i could not help it and respected her because i knew that she was worthy of respect i was present at a social gathering where frank was a guest and was watching your mother attentively when i saw her shrink instinctively from his touch and leave the play in which she was engaged and throw her glove in the fire public opinion was divided about her conduct some censured others commended her but from that hour i learned to love her and i became her defender other women would tolerate frank miller but here was a young and gracious girl strong enough and brave enough to pour on the head of that guilty culprit her social disapprobation and i gloried in her courage i resolved she should be my wife if she would accept me which she did and i've never regretted my choice and i think that i have had as happy a life as usually falls to the lot of mortals end of chapter 16 chapter 17 of trial and triumph by frances c w harper this libra vox recording is in the public domain chapter 17 papa said laura la set all the girls have had graduating parties except annette and myself would it not be nice for me to have a party and lots of fun and then my birthday comes next week now wouldn't it be just the thing for me to have a party it might be darling for you but how would it be for me who would have to foot the bill well papa could you not just give me a check like you do mama sometimes but mama knows how to use it but papa don't i know how also i have my doubts on that score but let me refer you to your mother she is queen of this realm and in household matters i as a loyal subject abide by her decisions well i guess mama is all right on this subject mrs. la set was perfectly willing to gratify her daughter and it was decided to have an entertainment on laura's birthday the evening of mrs. la set's entertainment came bringing with it into her pleasant parlors a bright and merry throng of young people he was more than a mere pleasure party he was here that rising talent was encouraged no matter how humble the garb of the possessor and mrs. la set was a model hostess who would have thought her entertainment of failure had anyone gone from it smarting under a sense of social neglect shy and easily embarrassed and net who was very seldom invited anywhere found herself almost alone in that gay and chattering throng and that was seated next to several girls who laughed and chatted incessantly with each other without daining to notice her mrs. la set entering the room with mr. luzern whom she presented to the company and noticing the loneliness and social isolation of annette gave him a seat beside her and was greatly gratified that she had found the means to relieve the tedium of annette's position mrs. la set had known him as a light-hearted boy full of generous impulses with laughing eyes and a buoyant step but he had been absent a number of years and had developed into a handsome man with a magnificent physique elegant in his attire polished in his manners and brilliant in conversation just such a man as is desirable as a companion and valuable as a friend staunch honorable and true and it was rumored that he was quite wealthy he was generally cheerful but it seemed at times as if some sad memories came over him dashing all the sunshine from his face and leaving in its stead a sadness which it was touching to behold some mystery seemed to surround his life but being reticent in reference to his past history there was a dignity in his manner which repelled all intrusion into the secrecy over which he chose to cast a veil and that was not beautiful but her face was full of expression and her manner winsome at times lacking social influence and social adaptation she had been ignored in society her faults of temper made prominent her most promising traits of character left unnoticed but this treatment was not without some benefit to annette it threw her more entirely on her own resources at first she read when she had leisure to beguile her lonely hours and fortunately for her she was directed in her reading by mrs. Lassette who gave and lent her books which appealed to all that was highest and best in her nature and kindled within her a lofty enthusiasm to make her life a blessing to the world with such an earnest purpose she was not prepared to be a social favorite in any society whose chief amusement was gossip and whose keenest weapon was ridicule mr. Luzern had gone to mrs. Lassette's with the hope of meeting some of the best talent in ap and had come to the conclusion that there was more brilliancy than depth in the intellectual life with which he came in contact he felt that it lacked earnestness purpose and grand enthusiasm and he was astonished to see the social isolation of annette whose society had interested and delighted him and after parting with her he found his mind constantly reverting to her and felt grateful to mrs. Lassette for affording him a rare and charming pleasure and that sat alone in her humble room with a new light in her eyes and a sense of deep enjoyment flooding her soul never before had she met with such an interesting and congenial gentleman he seemed to understand as scarcely as any one else had done or cared to do in the eyes of other guests she had been treated as if too insignificant for notice but he had loosened her lips and awakened within her a dawning sense of her own ability which others had chilled and depressed he had fingered the keys of her soul and they had vibrated in music to his touch do not smile gentle reader and say that she was very easily impressed it may be that you have never known what it is to be hungry not for bread before human sympathy to live with those who were never interested in your joys nor sympathized in your sorrows to whom your coming gave no joy and your absence no pain since Annette had lost her grandmother she had lived in an atmosphere of coldness and repression and was growing prematurely cold her heart was like a sealed fountain beneath whose covering the bright waters dashed and leaped in imprisoned boundary oh blessed power of human love delight and human suffering well may we thank the giver of every good and perfect gift for the love which gladdens hearts brightens homes and sets the solitary in the midst of families mr. leuzern frequently saw annette at the house of mrs. la set and occasionally called at her uncles but there was an air of restraint in the social atmosphere which repressed and chilled him in that home he missed the cordial freedom and genial companionship which he always found at mrs. la sets but annette's apparent loneliness and social isolation awakened his sympathy and her bright intelligence and good character commanded his admiration and respect which developed within him a deep interest for the lovely girl he often spoke admiringly of her and never met her at church or among her friends that he did not gladly avail himself of the opportunity of accompanying her home madam rumor soon got tidings of mr. leuzern's attentions to annette and in a shout the tongues of the gossips of ap began to wag mrs. larkin's who had fallen heir to some money moved out of tennis court and often gave pleasant little tease to her young friends and as a well-spread table was quite a social attraction in ap her gatherings were always well attended after rumor had caught the news of mr. leuzern's interest in annette mrs. larkin's had a social at her house to which she invited him and a number of her young friends but took pains to leave annette out in the cold mr. leuzern on hearing that annette was slighted refused to attend at this supper table annette's prospects were freely discussed i expected that mr leuzern would have been here this evening but he sent an apology in which he declined to come did you invite annette said miss croaker no i did not i got enough of her when i live next door to her well that accounts for mr leuzern's absence they remind me of the siamese twins if you see one you see the other how did she get in with him she met him at mrs. leuzern's party and he seemed so taken up with her that for a while he had neither eyes nor ears for anyone else that girl is quite as she looks as just as deep as the sea it is not that she's so deep but we are so shallow miss booker and miss croaker we're sitting near annette and not noticing her and we girls were having a good time in the corner to ourselves and annette was looking so lonely and embarrassed i think mr leuzern just took pity on her and took a special pains to entertain her i just think we stepped our feet into it by sliding annette and of course as soon as we saw him paying attention to her we wouldn't change and begin to make much of her i don't know what he sees in annette with her big nose and plain face my father said laura less said says that annette is a credit to her race and my mother is just delighted because mr leuzern is attracted to her but girls had we not better be careful how we talk about her people might say that we are jealous of her and we know that we are taught that jealousy is as cruel as the grade we don't see anything to be jealous about her she is neither pretty nor stylish but my mother says she is a remarkable girl persisted laura your mother said mrs larkin's always had funny notions about annette and saw in her what nobody else did well for my part i hope it will be a match it is easy enough for you to say so laura you think it is a sure thing between you and charlie cooper but don't be too sure there's many a slip between the cup and the lip there was a flush on laura's cheek as she replied if there are a thousand slips between the cup and the lip and charlie and i should never marry let me tell you that i would almost as soon court another's husband as a girl's a fianced lover i can better afford to be an old maid than to do a dishonorable thing well laura you are a chip off the old block just like your mother always ready to take annette's part i think mrs larkin's it is the finest compliment you can pay me to tell me that i am like my dear mother end of chapter 17 chapter 18 of trial and triumph by francis e w harper this libra vox recording is in the public domain chapter 18 good morning said mr luzern entering mr thomas office are you busy not very i'd just given some directions to my foreman concerning a job i have undertaken and had just settled down to read the paper well how does your acquaintance with miss harcourt prosper have you popped the question yet no not exactly i have been thinking very seriously of the matter but i've been somewhat shaken in my intention how so said mr thomas laying down his paper and becoming suddenly interested you know that i have had an unhappy marriage which has overshadowed all my subsequent life and i cannot help feeling very cautious how i risk not only my own but another's happiness in a second marriage it is true that i have been thinking of proposing to miss harcourt and i do prefer her to any young lady i've ever known but there is a depreciatory manner in which people speak of her that sorely puzzles me for instance when i ask some young ladies if they know annette they shrug their shoulders look significantly at each other and say oh yes we know her but she don't care for anything but books oh she is so self-conceited and thinks she knows more than anyone else but when i spoke to mrs larkin's about her she said annette makes a fine appearance but all is not gold that glitters by this time my curiosity was excited and i asked what is the matter with miss harcourt i had no idea that people were so ready to pick at her she replied no wonder she is such a spitfire well said mr thomas a little hotly if annette is a spitfire mrs larkin's has a lot of combustion i think of all the women i know she has the greatest genius for aggravation i used to board with her but as i did not wish to be talked to death i took refuge in flight and so you showed the white feather that time yes i did and i could show it again i don't wonder that people have nicknamed her auntie talk forever i've known annette for years and i know that she is naturally quick-tempered and impulsive but she is not malicious and implacable and if i were going to marry tomorrow i would rather have a quick hot-tempered woman than a cold selfish one who never thought or cared about anyone but herself mrs larkin's mouth is not a prayer book don't be uneasy about anything she says against annette reassured by mr thomas clarence lou zern decided that he would ask dr harcourt's permission to visit his niece a request which was readily granted and he determined if she would consent that she should be his wife he was wealthy handsome and intelligent annette was poor and plain but upright and character and richly endowed in intellect and no one imagined that he would pass by the handsome stylish girls of ap to bestow his affections on plain neglected annette some of the girls who knew of his friendship for annette but who never dreamed of its termination of marriage would say to annette speak a good word for me to mr lou zern but annette kept her counsel and would smile and think i will speak a good word for myself very pleasant was the growing friendship between annette and mr lou zern together they read and discussed books and authors and agreed with wonderful unanimity which often expressed itself in the words i think as you do not that there was any weak compliance for the sake of agreement but a unison of thought and feeling between them which gave a pleasurable zest to their companionship miss annette said lou zern do you believe that matches are made in heaven i never thought anything about it but have you no theory on the subject not the least have you yes i think that every human soul has its counterpart and is never satisfied till soul has met with soul and recognized his spiritual affinity affinity i hate the word why because i think it has been so wrongly used and added to the social misery of the world what do you think marriage ought to be i think it should be a blending of hearts an inter communion of souls a tie that only love and truth should weave and nothing but death should part lou zern listened eagerly and said why miss annette you speak as if you had either loved or were using your fine imaginative powers on the subject with good effect have you ever loved anyone annette blushed and stammered and said i hardly know but i think i have a fine idea of what love should be i think the love of a woman for the companion of her future life should go out to him just as naturally as the waves leap to the strand or the fire ascends to the sun and this said lou zern taking her hand in his is the way i feel towards you surely our souls have met at last annette said he in a voice full of emotion is it not so may i not look on your hand as a precious possession to hold till death does depart why mr lou zern said annette recovering from her surprise this is so sudden i hardly know what to say i've enjoyed your companionship and i confess i have been pleased with your attentions but i did not dream that you had any intentions beyond the enjoyment of the hour no annette i never seek amusement in touring with human hearts i should deem myself a villain if i came into your house and stole your purse and i should think myself no better if i entered the citadel of a woman's heart to steal her affections only to waste their wealth her stolen money i might restore but what reparation could i make for wasted love and blighted affections annette let there be truth between us i will give you time to think on my proposal hoping at the same time that i shall find favor in your eyes after mr lou zern left annette sat alone by the fireside a delicious sense of happiness filling her soul with sudden joy could it be that this handsome and dignified man had honored her above all the girls in ap by laying his heart at her feet or was it only a dream from which would come a rude awakening annette looked in the glass but no stretch of imagination could make her conceive that she was beautiful in either form or feature she turned from the glass with a faint sigh wishing for his sake that she was as beautiful as some of the other girls in ap whom he had overlooked not thinking for one moment that in loving her for what she was in intellect and character he had paid her a far greater compliment than if she had been magnificently beautiful and he had only been attracted by an exquisite form and lovely face in a few days after mr lou zern's proposal to annette he came for the answer to which he looked with hope and suspense i'm glad he said to find you at home yes all the rest of the family are out then the coast is clear for me there was tenderness and decision in his voice as he said now annette i've come for the answer which cannot fail to influence all my future life he clasped the little hand which lay limp and passive in his own his dark handsome eyes were bent eagerly upon her as if scanning every nook and corner of her soul her eye fell beneath his gaze her hand trembled in his tears of joy were springing to her eyes but she restrained them she withdrew her hand from his clasp he looked pained and disappointed have i been too hasty and presumptuous annette said no rather faintly while her face was an enigma he did not know how to solve why did you release your hand and avert your eyes i felt that my will was succumbing to yours and i want to give you an answer untrammeled and uncontrolled by your will mr lou zern smiled and thought what rare thoughtfulness and judgment she has evinced how few women older than herself would have thought as quickly and as clearly and yet she is no less womanly although she seems so wise what say you my dear annette since i've released your hand may i not hope to hold this hand as the most precious of all my earthly possessions until death us do part annette fixed her eyes upon the floor as if she were scanning the figures on the carpet her heart beat quickly as she timidly repeated the words until death us do part and placed her hand again in his while an expression of love and tender trust lit up the mobile and expressive face and annette felt that his love was hers the most precious thing on earth that she could call her own the engagement being completed the next event in the drama was preparation for the wedding it was intended that the engagement should not be long together they visited different stores and purchasing supplies for their new home how pleasant was that word to the girl who had spent such lonely hours in the home of her uncle to her it meant one of the brightest spots on earth and one of the fairest types of heaven in the evening they often took pleasant strolls together or sat and chatted in that beautiful park near their future home one evening as they sat quietly enjoying themselves annette said how happened it that you preferred me to all the other girls in ap there are lots of girls more stylish and better looking what did you see in poor plain me he laughingly replied i chose you out from all the rest the reason was i loved you best and why did you prefer me she answered quite archly the roses red the violets blue sugar is sweet and so are you i chose you because of your worth when i was young i married for beauty and i pierced my heart through with many sorrows you've been married said i met with a tremor in her tones why i never heard of it before did not mr. thomas or mrs. lissette tell you of it they knew it but it is one of the saddest passages of my life to which i scarcely ever refer she my wife drifted from me and was drowned in a fresh it near or leons oh how dreadful and i never knew it does it pain you know but it astonishes me well annette it is not a pleasant subject let us talk of something else i've not spoken of it to you before but today when it pressed so painfully upon my mind it was a relief to me to tell you about it but now darling dismiss it from your mind and let the dead past bury it's dead just then there came along where they were sitting a woman whose face bore traces of great beauty but dimmed and impaired by lines of sorrow and disappointment just as she reached the seat where they were sitting she threw up her hands in sudden anguish gasped out clarence my long lost clarence and fell at his feet in a dead faint as mr. lucerne looked on the wretched woman lying at his feet his face grew deathly pale he trembled like an aspen and mermaid in a bewildered tone has the grave restored it's dead but with annette there was no time for delay she chaffed the rigid hands unloose the closely fitting dress sent for a cab and had her conveyed as quickly as possible to the home for the homeless then turning to lucerne she said bitterly mr. lucerne will you explain your encounter with that unfortunate woman she spoke as calmly as she could for a fierce and bitter anguish was biting at her heartstrings what claim has that woman on you she has the claim of being my wife and until this hour i firmly believed she was in her grave annette lifted her eyes sadly to his he calmly met her gaze but there was no deception in his glance his eyes were clear and sad and she was more puzzled than ever annette said he i've only one favor to ask let this scene be a secret between us as deep as the sea time will explain all do not judge me too harshly clarence she said i have faith in you but i do not understand you but here is the carriage my work at present is with this poor unfortunate woman whose place i was about to unconsciously supplant end of chapter 18 chapter 19 of trial and triumph by francis e w harper this liber vox recording is in the public domain chapter 19 and thus they parted all their air castles and beautiful chambers of imagery blown to the ground by one sad cyclone of fate in the city of ap arresting place was found for the stranger who had suddenly dashed from their lips the scarcely tasted cup of happiness mr lucerne employed for her the best medical skill he could obtain she was suffering from nervous prostration and brain fever annette was constant in her attentions to the sufferer and day after day listened to her delirious ravings sometimes she would speak of a diamond necklace and say so beseechingly clarence don't look at me so you surely can't think i am guilty i will go away and hide myself from you clarence you never loved me or you would not believe me guilty but it linked the good constitution and careful nursing over master disease and she showed signs of recovery annette watched over her when her wild ravings sounded in her ears like requiems for the loved and cherished dead between her and the happiness she has so fondly anticipated stood that one blighted life but she watched that life just as carefully as if it had been the dearest life on earth she knew one day as annette sat by her bedside she surmised from the look on her face that the wandering reason of the sufferer had returned beckoning to annette she said who are you and where am i annette answered i'm your friend and you are with friends poor clarence she murmured to herself more sinned against than sinning my dear friend annette said very tenderly you have been very ill and i'm afraid that if you do not be very quiet you will be very sick again annette gently smoothed her beautiful hair and tried to soothe her into quietness resting careful nursing soon wrought a wondrous change and marie luzern but annette thoughtfully refrained from all reference to her past history and waited for a time to unravel the mystery she could not understand and with this unsolved mystery the match between her and luzern was broken off at length one day when marie's health was nearly restored she asked for writing materials and said i mean to advertise for my mother in a southern paper it seems like a horrid dream that all i knew or loved even my husband whom i deserted believed that i was dead till i came suddenly on him in the park with a young lady by his side she looked like you was it you yes said annette as a sigh of relief came to her lips if clarence had wooed and won her he had not willfully deceived her oh how i would like to see him i was wayward and young when i left him in anger oh if i have sinned i have suffered but i think that i could die content if i could only see him once more annette related the strange sad story to her physician who decided that it was safe and desirable that there should be an interview between them luzern visited his long lost wife and after a private interview he called annette to the room who listened sadly while she told her story which exonerated luzern from all intent to deceive annette by a false marriage while she had a legal claim upon him i was born she said in new orleans my father was a spanish and my mother a french creole she was very beautiful and my father met her at a french ball and wished her for his companion for life but as she was an intelligent girl and a devout catholic she would not consent to live a life by which she would be denied the sacrament of her church so while she could not contract a civil marriage which would give her the legal claims of a wife she could enter into an ecclesiastical marriage by which she would not forfeit her claim to the rights and privileges of the church as a good catholic i was her only child loved and pitted by my father and almost worshiped by my mother and i never knew what it was to have a wish unfulfilled if it was inner power to gratify it when i was about sixteen i met clarence luzern people then said that i was very beautiful he was scarcely thinks so now but i suppose he thought so too in a short time we were married and soon saw that we were utterly unfitted to each other he was grave and i was gay he was careful and industrious i was careless and extravagant he loved the quiet of his home and books i loved the excitement of pleasure in the ballroom and yet i think he loved me but it was as a father might love a wayward child whom he vainly tried to restrain i had a cousin who had been absent from new orleans a number of years of whose antecedents i knew not scarcely anything he was lively handsome and dashing my husband did not like his society and objected to my associating with him i did not care particularly for him but i chafed against the restraint and ensure waywardness i continued the association one day he brought me a beautiful diamond necklace which he said he'd obtained in a distant land i laid it aside intending to show it to my husband in the meantime a number of burglaries have been committed in the city of b and among them was a diamond necklace my heart stood still with sudden fear while i read of the account and while i was resolving what to do my husband entered the house followed by two officers who demanded the necklace my husband interfered and with a large sum of money obtained my freedom from a rest my husband was very proud of the honor of his family and blamed me for sustaining its record from that day my husband seemed changed in his feeling towards me he grew cold distant and abstracted and i felt that my presence was distasteful to him i could not enter into his life and i saw that he had no sympathy with mine and so in a fit of desperation i packed my drunk and took with me some money i had inherited from my father and left as i sit in a note forever i entered a convent and resolved that i would devote myself to the service of the poor needy for life had lost its charms for me i scarcely entered the convent before the yellow fever broke out and raged with fearful intensity i was reckless of my life and engaged myself as a nurse one day there came to our hospital a beautiful girl with the wealth of raven hair just like mine was before i became a nurse i nursed her through a tedious illness and when she went out from the hospital as i had an abundance of clothing i supplied her for my wardrobe with all she needed even to the dress she wore away the clothing was all marked with my names soon after i saw on the paper that a young woman who was supposed from the marks on her clothing i'm a general description of her person to be myself was found drowned in a fresh it i was taken ill immediately afterwards and learned on recovering that i had been sick and delirious for several weeks i sought for my mother inquired about my husband but lost all trace of them both till i suddenly came across my husband in bright side part but clearance if you have formed other ties don't let me come between you and the sunshine you are free to apply for a divorce you can make the plea of willful desertion i will not raise the least straw in your way i will go back to the convent and spend the rest of my life in penitence and prayer i've sinned it is right that i should suffer clearance looked eagerly into the face of annette it was calm and peaceful but in the end he read no hope of a future reunion what say you annette would you blame me if i accepted this release i certainly would she is your lawful wife in the church of her father you pledged your faith to her and i do not think any human law can absolve you from being faithful to your marriage vows i do not say it lightly i do not think any mother ever laid her first born in the grave with any more sorrow than i do today when i make my heart the supple career in which i buried my first and only love this clearance is the saddest trial of my life i'm sadder today than when i stood a lonely orphan over my grandmother's grave and heard the clouds fall on her coffin and stood lonely and heart-stricken in my uncle's house and felt that i was unwelcome there the clearance the great end of life is not the attainment of happiness but the performance of duty and the development of character the great question is not what is pleasant but what is right annette i feel that you are right but i am too wretched to realize the force of what you say i only know that we must pardon that means binding my heart as a bleeding sacrifice on the altar of duty do you not know who drank the cup of human suffering to its bitter dregs before you arm yourself with the same mind learn to suffer and be strong yes we must part but if we are faithful till death heaven will bring us sweeter rest and thus they parted if luzern had felt any faltering in his allegiance to duty he was too honorable and upright when that duty was plainly shown to him to weekly shrink from its performance and as soon as his wife was able to travel he left ap for a home in the sunny south after luzern had gone annette thought i must have some active work which will engross my mind and use every faculty of my soul i will consult with my dear friend mrs lecette all unnerved by her great trial annette rang mrs lecette's front doorbell somewhat hesitatingly and walked weirdly into the sitting room where she found mrs lecette resting in the interval between twilight and dark why annette she said would please surprise i'm so glad to see you how was clearance i thought you would have been married before now i have your wedding present already for you mrs lecette annette said while her voice trembled with inexpressible sorrow it is all over mrs lecette was lighting the lamp and had not seen annette's face in the dusk of the evening but she turned suddenly around at the sound of her voice and noticed the wand face so pitiful in its expression of intense suffering what is the matter my dear have you and luzern had a lover's quarrel no said annette sadly and then in the ears of her sympathizing friend she poured her tale of bitter disappointment mrs lecette folded the stricken girl to her heart in tenderest manner oh mrs lecette she said you make me feel how good it is for girls to have a mother annette my brave and my noble girl i'm so glad glad of what mrs lecette glad that you have been so true to conscience and to duty glad that you have come through your trial like gold tried in the fiercest fire glad that my interest in you has not been in vain and that i have been able to see the blessed fruitage of my loving labors and now my dear child what next i must have a change i must find a relief in action i feel so weak and bruised in heart a bruised reed will not break murmured mrs lecette to herself annette said mrs lecette this has been a fearful trial but it must not be in vain let it bring you more than happiness let it bring you peace and blessedness there's only one place for us to bring our sins and our sorrows and that is the mercy seat let us both kneel there tonight and ask for grace to help in this your time of need we are taught to cast our care upon him for he careeth for us come my child with the spirit of submission and full surrender and consecrate your life to his service body soul and spirit not as a dead offering but a living sacrifice together they mingle their prayers and tears and when annette rose from her knees there was a look of calmness on her face and a deep peace had entered her soul a strange trial was destined to bring joy and gladness and yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness in the future mrs lecette wrote to some friends in a distance southern town where she obtained a situation for annette as a teacher here she soon found work to enlist her interest and sympathy and bring out all the activity of her soul she had found her work and the people among whom she labored had found their faithful friend end of chapter 19 chapter 20 of trial and triumph by franca c w harper this liberal vox recording is in the public domain chapter 20 luzern's failure to marry annette and re in statement of his wife was the sensation of the season some pitied annette others blamed luzern but annette found as a teacher opportunity among the freedmen to be a friend and sister to those whose advantages had been less than hers life had once opened before her like a fair vision enchanted with delight but her beautiful dream had faded likes and raised mingling with the shadows of night it was the great disappointment of her life but she roused up her soul to bear suffering and to be true to duty and into her soul came a joy which was her strength little children learned to love her the street gammons knew her as their friend aged women blessed the dear child as they called her who planned for their comfort when the blasts of winter were raging around their homes before her great trial she had found her enjoyment more in her intellectual than spiritual life but when every earthly prop was torn away she learned to lean her fainting head on christ the cornerstone and the language of her heart was nearer to the even though it be a cross that raises me in surrendering her life she found a new life and more abundant life in every power and faculty of her soul luzern went south and found marie's mother who had mourned her child is dead tenderly they watched over her but the seeds of death were sown too deeply in her wasted frame for recovery and she wasted away and sank into a premature grave leaving luzern the peaceful satisfaction of having smoothed her passage to the grave and lengthened with his care her declining days turning from her grave he plunged into active life it was during the days of reconstruction when tricksters and demagogues were taking advantage of the ignorance and inexperience of the newly enfranchised citizens honorable and upright luzern preserved his integrity among the corruptions of political life men respected him too much to attempt to swerve him from duty for personal advantage no bribes ever polluted his hands nor fraud nor political chicanery ever stained his record he was the friend and benefactor of his race giving them what gold is ever too poor to buy the benefit of a good example and a noble life and earned for himself the sobriquette by which he was called honest luzern and yet at times he would turn wistfully to annette and the memory of those glad bright days when he expected to clasp hands with her for life at length his yearning had become insatiable and he returned to ap laura lisette had married charlie cooper who by patience and industry had obtained a good position in the store of a merchant who was manly enough to let it be known that he had negro blood in his veins but that he intended to give him a desk in place in his establishment and he told his employees that he intended to employ him and if they were not willing to work with him they could leave charlie was promoted just the same as others according to his merits time had dealt kindly with mrs lisette as he scattered his silvery crystals amid her hair and ever it might be said each silver hair each wrinkle there record some good deed done some flower she scattered by the way some spark from love's bright sun mrs larkins had grown kinder and more considered as the years passed by mr thomas had been happily married for several years annette was still in her southern home doing what she could to teach help and befriend those on whose chains the rest of ages had gathered mr lucerne found out annette's location and started southward with her fresh hopes bringing up in his heart it was a balmy day in the early spring when he reached the city where annette was teaching her home was a beautiful place of fragrance and flowers groups of young people were gathered around their teacher listening eagerly to a beautiful story she was telling them elderly women were scattered in little companies listening to or relating some story of annette's kindness to them and their children i told her said one that i had a vision that someone who was fair was coming to help us she smiled and said she was not fair i told her she was fair to me i wish she had been here 15 years ago said another one before she came my boy was just as wild as a colt but now he is just as steady as a judge i just think said another one that she has been the making of my lucy she's just wrapped up in this annette thinks the sun rises and sets in her old mothers whose wants had been relieved came with the children and younger men too to celebrate annette's 31st birthday happy and smiling like one who had passed through suffering into peace she stood the beloved friend of old and young when suddenly she heard a footstep on the veranda which sent the blood bounding in swift currents back to her heart and left her cheek very pale it was years since she had heard the welcome rebound of that step but it seemed as familiar to her as the voice of a loved and long lost friend or a precious household word and before her stood with slightly bowed form and her tinge with gray luzern purified through suffering which to him had been an evangel of good he had come to claim the love of his spirit he had come not to separate her from her cherished life work but to help her end up lifting and helping those among whom her lot was cast as a holy benediction and so after years of trial and pain their souls had met at last strengthened by duty purified by that faith which works by love and fitted for life's highest and holiest truths and now in conclusion permit me to say under the guise of fiction i've essayed to weave a story which i hope will subserve a deeper purpose than the mere amusement of the hour that it will quicken and invigorate human hearts and not fail to impart a lesson of usefulness and value end of section 20 end of trial and triumph by francec w harper