Today we have come to the lab and we have a look at our time correlated single photon counting setup. In the setup that we are going to show you today the light source is a femtosecond pulse titanium sapphire laser whose output varies from 690 nanometer to 1040 nanometer and then we have something called a pulse picker which cuts down the repetition rate to the desired value and after that we have second and third harmonic generation arrangements by which we can generate blue and ultraviolet light. This light is used to excite the samples and then the fluorescence of the sample it goes through a time correlated single photon counting detection detector and electronics and then we generate the decay. So, today the purpose is to show you how actually a decay is recorded and wherever possible the components of the instrument itself. So, first let us have a look at the laser. This is our femtosecond titanium sapphire laser. Now unfortunately this laser is sort of a black box you cannot open it and show you what is there inside. We take a rain check for that and later on in an older model we will show you actually what is there inside a laser. Now the titanium sapphire laser gives us output as I said in the range of 690 nanometer to 1040 nanometer which is basically red almost near IR kind of range. This wavelength is not really useful for excitation if you are going to talk about a fluorescence experiment. Secondly the repetition rate at which the pulses come out of the laser is about 80 megahertz or 100 megahertz you can think which means the separation in time between two pulses is about 12.5 nanosecond and that is a problem because if you have a long decay which does not get over in 12.5 nanosecond then we cannot really record it. So, first of all we have to cut down the repetition rate and then we have to generate what are called higher harmonics about which we will study in detail a little later on. First let me show you what is there inside this box. So, what you see here is a lot of optics right and when you see it for the first time everything looks alive. So, just to give you an idea of how things work the light comes in from here red light and this slab that you see that is the pulse speaker. It is a quartz block on which we apply some radio frequency which gives it a variable refractive index and as a result of that we can chop down the number of pulses. So, that depends on what kind of radio frequency we give there and then the red light comes and is incident on a crystal that is placed there you might be able to see a little bit of blue light there that is where second harmonic generation takes place. Second harmonic generation means you can think two photons of smaller energy join up to produce a photon of exactly double the energy. Now this conversion is never complete maximum efficiency that you can hope to get is about 20 percent. So, out of this crystal we get say 20 percent of light is converted to blue and remaining 80 percent remains red that comes here and gets split this is a dichroic beam splitter. So, now blue and red lights take a different path and one of these is given a variable time delay using this micrometer screw gauge. Then both of them travel by the same path onto a third crystal which is kept here that is a third harmonic generation crystal. In third harmonic generation what we do is we mix one photon of fundamental frequency and another of second harmonic and as a result we generate third harmonic which is basically lambda by 3 and now to it is time to show you the output you might be able to see two blue spots here the lower one the brighter one is actually blue right now we are working with fundamental frequency of 885 nanometer. So, the blue spot this one is half of that 442 nanometer approximately and the one the upper one which looks blue to our eye is actually the UV light third harmonic 885 divided by 3 nanometer which is about 290 nanometer or so. It looks blue because the UV light is incident on the card which has a lot of proteins and stuff and they emit in the blue that is the fluorescence we see otherwise it is not visible to our eyes. Now we have to choose which one we want the blue one or the red one right now the red one is being used. So, the red light goes hits this mirror then comes to this mirror and gets reflected into the sample chamber where we keep the sample. So, we have kept our sample in this cuvette and that goes in here. So, excitation light comes this way hits the sample emission is in all directions, but we record in a perpendicular direction. Let me show you the detection channel the first piece of optics through which the emitted light goes through goes is polarizer that is kept here. This is a polarizer put it in here we have a monochromator which we have discussed in the theory class and this is a fast detector that we have it is a new kind of hybrid detector and you can see the output of the detector goes through this thick cable. So, you see that thick cable it has come out and it has gone to a small box there from there you might be able to see a small cable that comes out and goes into a terminal called start A that is the start of the time to amplitude converter that we have discussed in the previous class and before going there inside that small box itself we have the constant fraction discriminator. So, that is start what about stop you can see that there is another terminal there which says stop input from stop comes as a synchronous pulse from the laser power supply itself. Right now we are not trying to show it to you because it is a little too circuitous, but we do have a stop which comes from the source. So, here you see we are starting charging of attack by the fluorescent signal and we are stopping by the synchronous signal. This is called reverse mode and reverse mode is useful because especially when you do a high frequency kind of measurement reverse mode helps decrease the dead time of the instrument and recording is fast. Now, we will go over to the other side once again and we will actually record a decay. So, here we are this is where we record the decay after the signal comes from attack to the multi-channel analyzer. A multi-channel analyzer is actually a card nowadays it goes inside the PC which acquires it for us in our case all the electronics goes into the box that you see right here. So, on the screen you can see two counts one is stop and one is start. Stop is something like 7956074 and stop is start is about 7800 or so. So, this gives you the repetition rate of the laser we are working at a repetition rate of about 8 megahertz that is the number that you see here which means that the number of pulses hitting the sample is 8 into 10 to the power 6 per second and here what we see is number of emission events that are recorded per second 76527 you can see this number is fluctuating where the number at stop is not that is because the laser gives out pulses at a constant repetition rate whereas when you record the emission that is a more random event but we have kept the number of such random events as a very small fraction 1 percent or less no more than 2 percent definitely of the number of stop events this is required otherwise we get what is called a pile up effect and in our decay we get a spurious fast component. So, this is what we get per second before acquiring a decay it is important that we understand what are the parameters here you see it says time range is 50 nanosecond you might remember in the previous session we had discussed tack range this is tack range right here this means that the tack waits for 50 nanosecond for another signal to come. It also means that the full scale of our measurement in time is 50 nanosecond and you see there is something called coaxial delay you have to actually delay the start as well as stop pulses appropriately so that they all come in the region where we are looking. And now to give you a little better idea you can look at the start inputs and the stop inputs separately here the TCSPC source is custom because we are using a source that is not really part of the spectrometer we are using a titanium sapphire laser. Now this threshold and all generally nowadays for commercial instruments you do not really have to play around with these but if you are working with an assembled instrument you need to know what kind of threshold you have to set so that you get a good signal and it is not contaminated with too much of noise. This is the start inputs and these are the stop inputs you are seen already coaxial delay of 35 nanosecond and here one more thing that I would like to draw your attention to you to is histogram size. Here histogram size is 8192 bins which means that in the multi-channel analyzer there are 8192 channels. So, if you it is approximately 8000 but the reason why it is 8192 is that you will see in all these measurements it is always 2 to the power something. So, you can work out 2 to the power x is equal to 8192 if that is the case then what is x I leave that to you but these are whatever number you get here is always 2 to the power something and that is because computer works on a binary logic. So, this is something that you can change if you change it then the number of points will change keeping the full scale the same. So, that will change your resolution. So, once again let me emphasize that you should not always work with 8000 points. Sometimes you might need more if possible sometimes it is enough if you work with less. You need to know what kind of decay you are looking at and you have to choose your resolution properly so that you do not end up spending too much of time recording the data, but you have data with sufficient resolution. With that background we can try to record a data itself. So, you can see here we have two options IRF and decay IRF means instrument response function we will record it later maybe before we do the analysis right now we are looking at the decay let us start acquisition. Here the y axis is logarithmic so you can see that the decay starts building right away and to our eyes it looks like all the points are going up at the same time but that is not correct because if you remember we are recording about 8000 events per second our eye does not work that fast our eye cannot really tell more than 10 or 30 events per second. So, it looks like it is happening altogether but actually it is not this decay is now being built point by point and what you see here is this is time 0 this here is the decay and it looks like this because it is logarithmic the advantage of having a logarithmic y axis is two fold first of all if it is a single exponential decay it will come up as a straight line. So, if it is anything other than a straight line you know for sure that it is not single exponential. Secondly another advantage of having a log scale is that you can see high counts as well as low counts together you can see from here to here it is about 10 from here to here is 100 here to here is 1000. So, that is why you can actually look at the smaller decay smaller count part of the decay as well along with the part where you have larger count. If I do not use a log scale then this is the decay that we actually get y axis now is linear and you can see the decay is practically over by the time we have reached 38 nanosecond which means that the scale that we have used is perhaps good enough but maybe there was no need to use 8000 points here. So, this is how you record a decay in TCSPC next we are going to record the IRF we are not going to show you that and we will show you a little bit about how to do data analysis right. Now we have recorded the decay we have recorded up to 5000 counts but actually it is better if you record up to 10,000 counts at least and we have zoomed in over a range of 15 minus 6 that is 9 nanosecond. So, you can see the decay is almost over there is a little bit more is there beyond it this is zero time and these are the points. The next thing to do is to record an instrument response function so that we can analyze the decay that is what we will do right now. To record the instrument response function we have replaced the sample via scatterer in this case LUDOX and we have changed the wavelength to the excitation wavelength. The earlier decay that we showed you was recorded at 350 nanometer. Now we have changed the wavelength to 295 nanometer and we are looking at scattered light and since we are looking at scattered light you can see the counts are really very high and even though we have actually decreased the band pass to we should reduce the band pass a little more it was 4 nanometer now we have decreased to 2 nanometer. Now we have about 11,000 counts remember in TCSPC you should not have too much of counts coming out of the photomultiplier tube that gives rise to pile up effect and can also affect your detector in the long run. So, now we go back and we record the instrument response function this will be done in a Jiffy because first of all counts are so high you can see this blue one coming up that is the instrument response function which means the laser pulse as the instrument sees it this is the plot with y axis in linear scale this is the plot with the y axis in the log scale. So, here you might see that there is a little bit of an after pulse that always comes especially if you use a very fast measurement and if you use ultrafast lasers but sometimes these are after pulses come as a result of poor alignment of the light into the sample chamber and that has to be taken care of by tweaking the mirrors right. So, now we have recorded the data your decay is here and instrument function is also there and you might remember that we have discussed that in order to fit a decay we have to do what is called iterative reconvolution we have to decide a fitting model and we have to convolute it with the instrument function that we recorded here and we have to see how good a fit we get and you might remember another discussion we had how many points we have how many points do we have in the instrument response function we had said that the number of points is infinite in principle but finite in practice because we are working at certain resolution. So, you see each of these points is going to act as a delta pulse and that is what we are going to use to deconvolute this data and extract the lifetimes right. So, what you see here is the result of fitting this decay to a bi exponential function. So, this range denoted by the two red two blue lines is the range that we have said for the instrument function. So, essentially if you remember for getting the intensity or at each of these points in time t we have to integrate the fitting curve multiplied by the instrument function at time t minus t dash over we had did not mine well 0 to infinity or minus infinity to plus infinity here for all practical purposes you want to set a limit within which the instrument function has non-zero values and this is the range that we have set. But for fitting the data the range that we have set is much larger from here all the way up to here and we have got the results of the fit here it is something like the first component is 1.299 nanosecond second component is about 5 nanosecond shift is a measure of the difference between the peaks of the instrument function and the decay that always happens because of something called color effect in the detector and the amplitudes will show up if you open this up actually they are here from here you can calculate the relative amplitudes of t 1 and t 2 and chi square turns out to be 1.16472 there is no need to go to so many decimal places 1.16. So, if you see a chi square of 1.16 you think it is a good fit more or less good fit. But now if you look at weighted residuals I do not think we discuss weighted residuals in the last class maybe in the next class we will discuss what it is. But if you look at the weighted residuals this give you a measure of how what kind of fitting we have in the entire range of fit. So, you see between say 9 nanosecond and 31 nanosecond you have got a good fit. But before 9 nanosecond at short time the fit is really bad which means that we have to play around with this range or change the guess values that we started with and see if we can get a better fit. Now, how do you choose a range that is to be fitted? So, see it is up to 31 nanosecond here we could have gone further if you went further then practically the data is all 0. So, you are fitting 0s that will always be a good fit. But that does not and since it is a good fit it will make your chi square look better but it makes no sense because what is the point of fitting a flat line that does not really give you any idea about the time constants that you get as a result of fitting. So, it is important that we cover the entire decay we go all the way up to some point where the decay has become 0 but it is also important that we do not go any further. And about the other one range of the instrument response function it is very important that we cover the entire range where the instrument function may have nonzero values and to do that it is usually better to look at it in a semi-lock plot so that you do not miss any after pulse that is there. So, we will do the fit once again with a little bit of different range and see whether there is any improvement or not. Now, what we have done is first of all I change the range I have increased the range of the instrument response function to make sure that I am not missing out on any point that actually contributes. And I also made this range of the decay a little smaller I started much later. So, you can if you can see I am actually missing out on this much of decay which is not good still my fitting is no better than what it was if you see still the initial part is not fit very nicely which means that perhaps my fitting model is not right two exponentials may not be the right function to use let me see what happens if I use three exponentials instead keeping the same range. Now, we have fitted to three exponentials keeping the same range and now you see the residuals are nicely distributed about the mean and chi square is as good as it gets it has a value of 1.03. But still I am not satisfied with this because you remember we are actually losing out on the initial part. So, I would like to change the range once again and see whether there can be an improvement here we go I have now we are using a triple exponential model and you can see the fitting has started here almost at the top and throughout the decay is quite good. So, is what that tells me is that by exponential model is not all that good and you have to use a triple exponential model which actually makes sense in this case because the sample we are looking at is a protein. The emission of the tryptophan moiety of protein is what we are monitoring here and it is well known that tryptophan even free tryptophan in water or some of the solvent always has a triple exponential decay. Time constants we are getting are 1.7 nanosecond 5.6 nanosecond and it is 2.8 into 10 to the power minus which is a very small component which actually may be believable. What we have seen here is that how we fit the data and while fitting a data it is not something that gets done by itself actually does, but then it is not believable. What you need to do is while fitting data you have to spend considerable time work with a model that makes sense because you know if instead of try exponential model if I use an 6 exponential model or 5 exponential model fit might be even better because there is something called over parameterization. While fitting data if you use a larger number of parameters the fit is always better, but that may or may not make sense. So, we must use a model that makes sense for the system that we use. So, the take home message here is that the fitting process might look very mechanical, but actually it is not. It has to be done keeping in mind what kind of system we are looking at what it is that we expect to see. Of course, that expectation might cloud our vision that danger is always there, but you cannot do it without thinking what kind of a system we are looking at right. That is what we wanted to show in this module. We get back to the class after this and we will start a discussion of the different fitting models one can use. We have already talked about single exponential and multi exponential models, but not every decay has to follow one of those rate laws. We will see what are the other situations that can arise while fitting a data. That is it for today.


Good evening and thank you for joining the future forum tonight for our discussion on women in leadership We are all of us here in this room and LBJ's words the doers of today and the builders of tomorrow And that's exactly what the future forum represents The future forum is an organization that brings together individuals with different backgrounds experiences and points of view to have informed and bipartisan discussions about the local statewide and national issues that affect us today in Short we talk, but more importantly we listen Our events are made possible by our incredible members and our sponsors if you are not a member Strongly encourage you to sign up today before you leave or at the very least visit lbjfutureforum.org to learn more You can always find one of our friendly board members later if you have any questions and And we are grateful to have the support of Vella wood PC who is a generous sponsor of tonight's discussion Change can be hard, but it can also be an incredible beautiful and powerful thing And we are thrilled to have these change makers here with us tonight who are doing in building Incredible and powerful things here in our community and beyond Please keep in mind there will be time for questions at the end of the panel And I hope you all join us after to continue the conversation and enjoy the reception And now I'll turn it over to Megan Cripe digital managing editor for Texas Monthly to introduce our guests and get the conversation started Thank you so much Ryan I'm gonna hope to get the mic controls here right bear with me It's an honor for me to share the stage with this group of women tonight Each of them is dedicated so much of herself to helping create more opportunity and a level playing field in our society our businesses our politics I had a chance to speak with them briefly yesterday on the phone, and I can assure you you're in for a great conversation I was blown away by the power and the vision of all of them and my plan here is for the most part to just stand back and let them talk So I'd like to start by just giving them each an opportunity to introduce themselves. Amanda. Do you want to go first? Absolutely. My name is Amanda Ballard. I am the founder and executive director of a nonprofit here in central Texas called flow code We provide free access to menstrual products of those underserved in the community Not just central Texas community, but now within the entire state of Texas, and I also am a freelance digital marketer Okay, hard to follow up. So I am Keanna Hall. I do prefer to go by keto so voicing that in the room I serve as the curriculum development and training coordinator for Wendy Davis's deeds not words we're organization whose mission is to empower students through Organizing policymaking and voting and I have a unique role of also leading our movement You had his fellowship program which trains women of color across the state Which is really exciting by the way My name is Jane Hervey. I'm the founding executive director of an organization called boss rooms ATX We're a nonprofit based here in Austin that develops spaces and programs to create visibility financial opportunity and accessible education for women and non-binary creatives business owners and entrepreneurs we are interested and invested in using creativity and Entrepreneurship to flip cultural narratives and build more resilient communities and a lot of that looks like working with people in states of emergence and finding ways to be creative with our resources and give people access Outside of that. I'm an artist and a writer and work in communications Been doing that for a while, and that's what got me started with this was being frustrated By seeing cultural narratives play out in my field I make lunches for my children. I Mean I do that too, but my name is Mooner Hussaini and I'm a senior manager at PayPal But I guess you know with these ladies up here. I'm an activist by night I have a day job. I am a board member for interfaith action of central, Texas I am a board member for Muslim space. I Serve on the city of Austin Travis County hate crimes task force And I got put on this road to activism when I became a victim of hate crimes, but we'll talk about that maybe later That segue was incredible, Mona. I actually was going to ask each of you to talk about If there was some moment in your lives that you could pinpoint that really led you down this path because the work that you're doing is not easy It's the kind of thing that requires all of you and can be very emotionally tasking And I just love to hear, you know, what was that point for each of you that led you into, you know The work that you're doing Anyone can jump in first Okay, absolutely So what let me just start with flow code actually dates back to me just being young I've always kind of been into philanthropy always wanted to help other people because I've been that child that came up with nothing I mean literally nothing. I remember living in Section 8 housing in National City, California Mom couldn't provide anything for us and I was depending on the church to be there and kind of be my support system That where that's where my role models came from So I moved to Austin about three years ago And of course still wanted to help other people volunteer downtown or front steps for a couple of months Realized that one of the directors was complaining that they never get enough Minstrel products for their women and so for me it was like, oh, well, that's something I can do with some friends like it's nothing just a Gather a couple of dollars and go buy some pads and tampons and I was like, oh well, let me just see who's out here already doing that kind of work and so I reached out to a couple of nonprofits across the States and Homeless period project got back to me. And so they were like, well, you're an Austin. Why don't you just go ahead and start a chapter? So I was like, okay, I think I can do it like, you know, I mean, I guess it's a thing I can do so started Started homeless period project ATX Jane was one of the first people to ever donate to the organization I mean, she don't mean that was the community of boss babes. I should go made hundreds of pads and tampons We ended up creating about 730 I believe Minstrel kids that was distributed not only to just front steps but Trinity Center safe alliance And we only had about 30 volunteers and the next thing I knew two months later I had 115 people packed out in the Austin area Urban League and I had no space for them to volunteer And at that point Hurricane Harvey happened Ended up collecting. I'm a digital marketer like by all means and so I ended up collecting 18,000 dollars within a couple of days Through online donations and we collected about I want to say about 150,000 Product donation.  Have a plan From there I think the chapter real or the organization realized that they couldn't quite manage me here in Austin and then managed them in South Carolina and all their other chapters And so I applied to become a 501c3 and made the org what I wanted it to look like and we've been flow-codes since January 2018 And already donated over 370,000 products across the country And that's something actually I want to get back to later in the conversation is just scaling You know when you're successful, that's a great thing But that can also be a terrifying and very difficult hurdle to cross and I know Jane you've had experience with that too Yeah, I mean that's how I ended up with hundreds and hundreds of pads and tampons to give to you so I'd say my pathway here has been a Meandering pathway, but one out of necessity and survival which I think for anyone who gets into this work without strategy and resources It's for that reason alone that you're trying to figure out how to survive You said something along these lines on the call yesterday As well, so I feel like it kind of unites us in a way, too I grew up in a really small town in South Texas called Rojondo Grew up 2,000 people live there. It's one of the poorest towns in America I didn't know that when I lived there and I didn't realize that I was living in one of the most underserved areas in the United States and so the Access to education that I had around my options within my career within my options as a woman working in the workforce Sexual harassment and assault were actually like applauded it within my community and still are today I didn't really realize what I was up against and all the barriers and the educational I guess Missteps that I was gonna have to unlearn until I came here to UT in 2011 and Had a very hard time navigating college despite graduating Salutatorian of my class at UT. I mean at real hondo and that was very frightening for me but you know having Having my own wits and my own resources. I was able to figure out college. I was really depressed the first three years and Someone told me, you know, once you figure college out, it'll be great. You get to your career and everything Yeah, you know, that was the message that had been fed to me through these college preparedness programs all throughout my You know pre-education or pre higher education years and so I kind of get emotional talking about this sorry so Yeah, I realized that was not the case when I actually got out of school And I also started to witness the Intersectional barriers that were keeping me back, but also my peers back And also people who were from my hometown trying to navigate work life and career Back and then I was watching that replicate across I'm an artist as well I was seeing all these patterns between my experience in academia then my experience in the workplace trying to work it as at a tech startup and then also navigating these same things being a musician and All of those things were intersecting with my socio-economic background my gender my access to resources and education and my access to capital And I'm you know intelligent and have the ability to figure these things out But there's plenty of people who are also intelligent and camp for other reasons, right? And also realizing that intelligence is a construct in some ways, too It's about access and that was very frightening for me my first year out of college So I engaged in a research study I had one credit left at UT and used that to create my own course and started interviewing people and creative industry who fit my Same profile You know different racial identities and sexual identities Along that and started to see all the different patterns and that led to the very first meet-up for the nonprofit in 2015 and the vision was very simple if we can get each other in the same room in Spaces where we can be honest and candid about our struggles and not be shamed and judged for those struggles What could possibly happen from that and now I'm here? So, you know over the years now we serve about 17,000 community members per year. We have 1500 creatives and entrepreneurs and leaders in our programs. We estimate that our programs generate about a million dollars in impact per year for the businesses and creatives that we serve and That's been really transformative, but also really difficult and interesting Coming from my background as well. So yeah learning along the way, but that's what got me here and keeps me here honestly It's because I don't see any other I don't see any other choice But yeah, I have to go after that again It's amazing. You chose your seat mana. I know I did I did it's my own fault. So You know, I'm hearing a lot of common threads with what you said and Jane what you said In the sense that I'm a daughter of immigrants and my parents Worked their tail off to get here. I think my father grew up literally with dirt floors and no plumbing in his home and He is the American dream. He was able to lift himself up by the bootstraps go to college Somehow figured out right there was no Google in 1970 when he got here, right? He left his family behind, you know, I think he spoke English before he got here but so it's a brave new world to navigate right and you know, I Went to college. I graduated in May of 2001 moved to Colorado lived in Boulder moved there two weeks before September 11th happened and Was a victim of several hate crimes? Won't go into the laundry list, but I was 21. I was by myself I didn't even have friends or family there But I was lucky that I had a manager who saw that I was dealing with mental health issues and pulled me aside and gave Me some time off to deal with my issues and you know, I'm a type A personality I'm strong never been afraid of anything never let anything get me down. So I just kept going Nothing was gonna get me down and I'm not gonna live my life afraid Went through therapy kind of put things in a little closet in the back of my head 10 years later moved to Austin and accidentally was invited to come Speak at a circle. They There was a group that was trying to learn about victims and how to how to handle reparations how do you help restore people who have been hurt and through that effort I got involved in the city of Austin hate crimes task force and I Guess I'm comfortable being vulnerable in front of a group of people and they asked me to tell my story because apparently there's some Pew study that says something like 65 percent or 70 percent of Americans have never met a Muslim and You know while I joke about making lunches for my kids That's not something ever associated with Muslim people the the lines that you hear about us on the news or never You know, we're struggling to get through the day and like laundry is my nemesis, right? and so Just having these conversations with people I've I've been in churches and elementary schools in hospital rooms Just telling my story and I didn't realize this But putting a human face to Muslims because the narrative out there has nothing to do with me and no Association with me by the way, but I've gotten blamed for things other people have done And I'm happy to make that vague statement and anyone can take it out of context if they want to Yeah, I went there so Anyhow over the years I've done this work on my own. I didn't have an organization to be part of right just having friends or Posting on Facebook and having people say can you come to my school? Can you come to my church and just talking and I think I've I've probably spoken to Thousands of people and an exciting moment for me was I was on Southwest Airlines the other day And I got on the plane and there were there were people I always feel uncomfortable traveling right and there were people who were looking at me funny on the plane and turned out that The air hostess is that the right word? stewardess By the tenant. Thank you audience Was someone I had spoken at I think her child school and she stopped me and started talking to me And it just felt so good to have someone I knew on the plane just because of the community work I'd been doing but I will also say in this journey It's been interesting to me how we find allies and I'm just gonna pivot a little bit in the sense that For several years, I was a diversity and inclusion practitioner at PayPal and it's funny We tend to limit ourselves thinking I'm not qualified to do that like I love your story and how you were saying I guess I could figure that out right like I Was offered to to do this diversity inclusion role in an interview for it And I thought I'm not qualified to do that my background is technical right Anyways, I ended up getting the job and through this work. One of the things I was tasked to do was help underrepresented groups Be more promotable be seen as leaders be seen as executives because let's be honest people are judged Before they even open their mouth right and through my work. I ended up working. Actually, there's there's two people here in the room Oh Okay, so it's a Pat Kirkland leadership and Lucy frost you'll see here.  It's how do you show up? How do you show up that people so people see you? For you and that you shine with your light the brightest it can be and it's just something that keeps coming up for me And we were talking about this on our call yesterday is You know for our leadership to be effective We have to tune out we have to help people tune out the noise So they can hear our message and I feel so lucky to have worked with Pat and Lucy in this training, right? And I just have to give them a shout out. So anyways, I've been able to talk to a lot of groups through the work that I do and Just really excited to be on this panel with you all and being part of this community with you all Thank you your turn. Yes, my turn. Alrighty, so I'll pop right in so I don't think that there was a moment that radicalized me because Being a child of a 14 year old mother your life is always at the intersection of very complex systems So I will say that I've been organizing professionally since I was 15 years old. I'm now 25 So I have 10 years in the game I came from an under resourced community if you're familiar with Dallas Then you know of Eau Cliff or you may not if you do know of Eau Cliff You probably are only aware of the negative narrative and connotation associated with our community Our community leads the state for child poverty So if you're a 14 year old a child of a 14 year old mother If you have an absentee father and you're raised in a community that leads with child poverty Then what is the hope for you, right? So I go to college as a first-generation high school graduate I go I prevail to become a first-generation college graduate earn two degrees and I'm now working on my master's degree at the University of Texas, right? During thank you. So during this time I'm organizing and what does that mean? It means that I'm organizing for my community and I'm organizing from a place of survival from necessity and from scarcity So what that looked like for me was in high school actually starting a chapter to help students just like me to earn scholarships a Group of maybe 11 students who are was helping earned over a million dollars in scholarships So we were able to go to school almost debt-free Right. So that's what it looked like at that point in my professional career post high school I go to college. I do an internship in Congress, which was an amazing opportunity I didn't have to pay anything out of pocket. I was provided a Superior stipend stayed on Capitol Hill whole nine yards loved it phenomenal experience Get there and realized how disconnected people are from the true issues on the ground So I come back to my community. I hit the ground running like oh, yeah I'm excited here are some awards that I've received you did a great job at this You did a great job at that But what does that translate to for my community if people are still in the same predicament that they were in when I live So I come at that point and I get home. I'm just like I don't know what I want to do I don't know what my impact can be or where I can be the most useful But I'm going to seek out opportunities every single weekend and I did so I volunteered with a different Organization every single weekend just whatever you need me to do all hands on deck plug me in you need me to sort Menstrual products. I'm there. You need me to pack lunches for your children. I'm there. You need me to type up memos I'm there. Just plug me in. I want to be a resource So from there I narrow down what I really am interested in and I'm really interested in seeing women of color lead So I noticed from volunteering all the weekends that I would see the women of color in the back of the room So we would be doing the heavy lifting of making sure that the events are successful of making sure that the memos look great Of making sure that things run as smoothly as they possibly could but we weren't being highlighted So I step into a more at-the-front role and I help a couple friends to create a Community hub or what now serves as a community hub. It started very moderate Lee as just a back-to-school festival and has now grown I've stepped away from a more in the front role in that organization But now I'm doing work with deeds in a curriculum and training role So training our next generation of change makers our next generation of policymakers our next generation of organizers and Steal hoping to make the impact that I've been making the ten years before I Have a question for all of you I told you it's generally better if I just let them tell their stories. They're incredible I Wonder if you all could speak a little bit to the word activist and to how activist How you identify as an activist versus the work that you're doing are they? Just you know ineffably intertwined is there are there ways that you separate those things out You know in being business women and being activists or you know, how do you how do you find that separation? And I think that's probably gonna end up going to self-care, too But well, let's start with that sort of that term. What does activist? What does that mean for you? The term activist is so politicized. I mean is for me at least If we're looking at like the spectrum of how people identify it is one of the most politicized terms that I see in the Community that I come from In conservative communities that I have access to as a result of where I come from And I I often see that word weaponized against people more often than not but in truth My relationship to that term is very positive. I think we should all be activists Why don't you care about what's going on in your community? You know, you should care because if I'll give you just kind of a dire example, but Hurricane Harvey is a I mean not a great example But I mean the ramifications of Hurricane Harvey on the state of Texas and which communities were able to pull themselves back together Was directly related to capital was directly related to race was directly related to the kinds of people and the kinds of work and the amount of resilience and when I say resilience, I mean Communities that have like faith structures Communities that have cultural Responsibility to each other in some way all of that impacted those communities ability to survive So for me being an activist is engaging directly with your community to provide Support to provide access to change things that don't provide access that don't provide a quality And so I have a very positive relationship to that term I do think though. I've had to be personally very careful about when and how I use it Because it does at least in the community that I come from I'm not gonna be able to Hold space with the young women coming out of my high school if I put that term into the room So I'm very mindful about the language that I use and where I am But I think that's along the lines of what you're asking I personally think that we should all be activists and if you don't identify with that term You should really ask yourself why? Because if we don't care about our communities, we are our communities then we don't care about ourselves You know self-care and community care go hand-in-hand you can't just take care of yourself and not take care of those around you We live in we live in systems that have to be influenced and changed and protect all of us So yeah, that's my my Thoughts on that Does anyone else you don't need to speak up if you don't want to I mean that that was a great answer to So I think you covered a lot, you know the weaponization of that term I think it's that's a very interesting point, you know It's weaponized in the same way that feminist has been weaponized who thought of the word social justice warrior when you heard the term Activist that pop up for anyone you hear like SJW like from conservative Groups, I mean it's very very common to get conflated and it's it's weaponized very often So yeah, I can also just say that I chose a long time ago to be who I am and show up How I want to write somebody else has politicized This is just a piece of cloth on my head that someone else has had a whole lot of meaning to and I Don't get to separate who I am right and I I can't even if I take my scarf off I can't rip my skin off And I want to show up who I am how I am every day in every way and let what's inside of me Be the same person that's outside of me, and I believe that's radical just by itself I'll also say that being a victim of hate crimes is something I don't want anyone else to go through ever Ever and if that makes me an activist, I will wear that proudly But I just think that's being a human being a mother being a sister Being a daughter being all of my identities. I think that's common for all of us So whether you call yourself one or not, let's just be honest about who you really are I don't know where we I'm sorry.  How do you respond to that? Especially when you don't know what you're doing I Think one up Okay, I think one of the biggest things that I had to take with me is like being mindful of where I live Because I feel like if I was doing the same exact thing back in North Carolina It my nonprofit will probably still be in that struggle boat like every other nonprofit But because Austin is so receptive to things that they know will actually make a difference in the community It was like oh, okay Well, I don't really have a strategy outside of well. Yeah, we just take donations or yeah we'll just take them to these different places and I had to take that with me like well now you have businesses I want to work with you now you have people who want to give you you know six figure Grants at this point. What are you going to do with that type of funding? What's your business plan look like? What's your your five-year plan look like and I just I didn't sign up that for a business I got signed up for something I could do when I get off work And I think the hardest part was I had to take the fact that like my nonprofit is my brand that this is my organization this is my baby and I have to create a team like you can't do it all by yourself And so outside of funding because I think all nonprofits we struggle with funding no matter how big or small you are I realized that I had to build a solid team So now I have a group of about 10 women in the state of Texas who currently helped me with the aspect of building my nonprofit I have marketers on my team over there I have my education director who's helping me build a new program for the nonprofit where we're now focused on Like really infiltrating not only just a sex education program But creating a menstrual program because I mean we need to teach girls about your actual menstrual cycle What are you gonna experience not just girls trans boys as well? And so I realized like I had to create an an organization that the community was going to be willing to embrace Sad part is you can't please everybody and I get emails about complaints all the time I get Facebook messages people are just met. Well, why didn't you do this for your nonprofit? Well, why don't you start your own nonprofit? Let's start there This is my baby This is what I created and this is what I'm proud of and I have people who support me because they believe in what we're doing Of course outside of that challenges. We just don't get enough money. I mean, honestly, let's be real Well, and Jane I read an interview with you where you talked about this problem and about failure as data I'd love for you to expand on that a little bit I mean when I say I have failed so hard in the last four years, that's not an understatement. Um, I I think the the thing I've struggled with I mean I started this organization with a hundred dollars working at a tech startup and I was Mildly depressed at the time of that the time of you know Starting boss A's ATX because I had just gotten out an abusive Relationship and had just gotten out of academia, which I also had an abusive relationship with I feel and I was really I was really struggling to navigate the workplace in some of the these patterns I was observing right it is very difficult to unpack your own traumas considering the amount of privileges I have to in in my own Navigation of the world right as a white woman who's cisgender. I mean, that's very very real But to do to build an organization to impact your own traumas and then to grapple with white privilege as a pattern Was very difficult for me. I'm just being completely candid and honest That it was very difficult for me to observe White privilege at scale if that makes sense Not because it was hard on my spirit or it challenged my identity But because I think for the first time in doing this work And in watching how our programs have grown in watching who succeeds and gets through them And who doesn't and watching whose businesses are patronized and whose businesses aren't in seeing certain artists receive access to other things I've become keenly aware of the barriers that I'm up against and The barriers that many people are up against and that has been difficult for me to watch scale because I mean aside from my own personal my own personal struggles and being a leader and my own personal struggles and you know Filing our taxes and hiring staff and making conscious decisions about our budgets Watching that repetitive repetitively play itself out year over year and feeling defeated by that and understanding the ramifications of that That's probably been the most difficult part of this work because I I personally I Personally want to see that change right and many people do and so that's been my struggle I think in the scale is realizing that as you scale your nonprofit the problem also scales and That that I just I don't think I truly understood the The Context of what I was trying to accomplish from the beginning and I'm kind of glad I didn't because I don't think I would have started and I Think that we need that But yeah, that's that's been very interesting Interesting is my word I use when I do when something's very unpleasant for me And I don't have a good answer for it, but it's like necessary. So I'm like that's interesting, you know but I don't I I guess I just mean to say that I watching problem scale has been very very frustrating and Finding myself up against the same problems at a bigger capacity is also very frustrating And is there is there something you can do? I mean, how do you step back and address something like that if you realize? You know that those patterns are repeating as you're scaling. Is there a strategy you've used to? Emergent strategy, baby. I'm a winking because we we both read this book but Yeah, I mean, I Really think that we have to recognize that as a as a culture as living organisms and people We are at the forefront of even beginning to understand what equity looks like and so there are many different strategies And someone will probably invent a new one within the next ten years and it's definitely not coming from From someone like me, you know, and I think that's To me you have to listen to the people that you serve you have to listen and uplift Identities that fall the very very intersection of every single system. You can't imagine so to me. That's a strategy. I guess But yeah, as far as my own personal strategies, I mean, I'm figuring this out. That's what every leader is doing, right? That's what we're all in this room doing I think Mona You spoke a little bit about the training that was provided was that within PayPal or or someone else? Basically this training that that would identify people who were who were of high potential but may not succeed because of the barriers of Background perception whatever else and I wonder if you could talk a little bit about that and what that training looks like and Anything you you personally might have learned from that, right? So What I was tasked with at PayPal was increasing the number and proportion of women in leadership roles and technical roles So that included hiring but that also meant keeping the women that we had and helping them move up In that process right like I was supposed to focus on women But I tried to being the activists that I am spread it around and focus on lots of different groups And I think that was in line with our our company values With that said what we were finding is that certain people were deemed smart But not promotable they weren't seen as having leadership skills or they weren't seen as being executive level material and so Just by chance There's a yearly conference that happens called grace hopper and it's the largest Organization of technical women that gathers in the United States and then they have one I believe in India every year and one of my colleagues had attended a session that Pat and Pat Pat is here. Pat is back in the room Pat had done and she came back to me. She said Muna you have to bring this woman in for training I whatever it is. You're trying to do. She's it and you know, I called her we talked I kind of just took a leap of faith and invited her and at this point I think Pat's trained over a hundred and fifty people at our company including some C-level folks and for me It's been phenomenal. It's not a how-do-you-give-a-speech training because people are already smart They are experts in their own right, but one of my colleagues Kip Harkness basically said that You know, it would be great if we lived in a perfect world, but we don't and Pat's training basically Helps to Helps you show up and helps your message come out without the detractors without the biases, right? And then there's things that we do, you know, for example a lot of women I can't do it myself, but like, you know, you play with your hair, right? Like I'm gonna be cute being cute is the way I survive, but then some we apologize, huh? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry, right? And it detracts from your Authority and you don't even realize you're doing it and how do you show up in a way where you're seen as competent and You're seen as likable at the same time and you're not undermining yourself And you're not letting other people's judgment get in the way of how you show up, right? And so for example for me, you know, I didn't realize this when I hired Pat But she lives in Austin and we were flying back from San Jose to Austin and we were at the plane and you know at work and in training I'm cool. Everybody likes me and I'm everybody's friend and then at the airport. I think I kind of was like Very uncomfortable and obviously uncomfortable and she was like, oh no, this training isn't just for when you're at work This is how you move through life and she was awesome She was just like we're doing this right now and she was like, you know, this is how you engage This is how you show up and you know, then I realized like I have to put the energy out into the world That I want to receive right and then making friends with people and talking and engaging and how you show up and how you move through the world It's Helps people's mirror neurons, right? Like if you're putting that energy out then they pick that up and they give it right back to you And I just own that all the time and it's amazing How people receive me and are shocked, right? Because if I let myself show up how I should Then it's confusing to them and that same training helps people see Your leadership and the potential that you have and you know blocks out like the whatever stereotypes they have like angry black women angry Latina angry whatever right and You can just be effective and you can be yourself and it's really a gift to have I think I said this earlier the voice that's inside you match the voice that's outside you and you walk through the world with integrity I think people see that and they can recognize it That's really cool I was just gonna follow up with Kita because this is so relevant to what you do Please thank you. So just wanted to pop in and offer First of all, thank you for the work that you do I did want to also voice into this room that the experiences for black women and Latinx women Navigating spaces is a whole lot different than it is for other women of color Navigating the same spaces So I want to voice that as we talk about the work that I do in particular with our moving me headers fellows across the state So we have 25 women of color that deeds not words and jolt our training To with the end goal of getting them into positions of power Those positions of power could be in philanthropic spaces in the nonprofit leadership spaces And or in elected leadership So right now there is a wave right everyone's on this wave of getting more women in power That's just the goal bottom line. Let's get more women in power Whatever power structure that looks like cool. Let's get more women in power The problem is that when we ride this wave of let's get more women in power women of color get left behind So what do we do to challenge? This push for women in leadership while also like saying yes, we do need more women in leadership But no, we don't want to leave women of color behind Moving me headers is a unique opportunity that trains these 25 women on how to show up as their authentic self So as you said I want to push though a little bit to say that I show up in all spaces as my authentic self Having never been trained to do so So however I show up and however I speak and however I look if I have braids if my hair is blue if my nails are hot pink I'm still going to be the same keto that you have right now And if the world isn't ready to accept me then that's okay, too And so the beauty of this program is that we're no longer asking for a seat at the table But we've just brought our own table. We're building it. We're bringing our own chairs right And so the piece that has been missing is that women of color are Invited into these spaces. We're invited to be on your panels. We're invited to lead sessions We're invited to lead the I so those diversity and inclusion workshops, but then we're pushed to the back We're not promoted We're not picked to be your executive directors. And so what does this program do? We change the piece of our axis So we train these women strategically To go in and to say hey my experience it may have been volunteer experience, but it's experience nonetheless Because other people are taught from childhood how to build out a resume that says I've done this for 15 plus years, right? Or because other people are taught to go in and to lead with an elevator speech that says I have this background I came with this experience And the reality is that women Particularly women of color do not go in as upfront We go in more apologetic about the skills and the brilliance that we always already have And the unique thing that I think about myself is that I go in with my light And I like to say that I stay lit Like literally because I'm going to show up and I'm going to shine this light regardless of who's in this room The same light is going to be there If it makes you uncomfortable then we can unpack that uncomfort together Can I also can I gas up this program a little bit? So one of the things I want to say about movement muheris. It's very interesting. I have no affiliation to this program whatsoever have just studied it and researched it But one of the key indicators and whether or not something succeeds and I'm talking generally speaking whether we're looking at a cell succeeding all the way to All the way to a business succeeding all the way to a government or a country succeeding Is that there's three primary components. It's access to capital. It's access to resources And it's also access to visibility within your environment Like those are the three factors and the patterns are everywhere. I'm obsessed with patterns But that's something that movement muheris does really well I think that's a strategy and I just want to point that out to your question earlier Like that's a strategy like starting with 25 25 people and saying all right, we're going to prepare you for leadership We're going to give you all the things that you need to get there Like that that's a pretty airtight strategy in my opinion for changing systems So I just wanted to point that out And everyone should look into movement muheris because it's a really cool model. Um, yeah Thank you guys. I think are we is it time for questions? All right, um, we're going to open it up to audience questions and sarah is walking around with a microphone So just raise your hand if you'd like to Ask something of our panelists We've got one in the corner So I would love to hear the best advice each one of you got Okay, I'll go first Best advice I've received is um If you think so then it is right and so Whether you think you can't then you won't right and so if you believe like just Think so and you will right be that positive and put one foot in the front in front of the other and just keep going Because the only thing stopping you is you Thank you The best advice I ever received ironically Is take the stairs. Um, I had this professor in In college that I found very interesting. He used to walk from his apartment all the way to his Office at ut it was about four miles.  Like like people are here to help you out a little bit. Um And I was doing the kind of immersive reporting thing on him and he was like, I don't trust people who don't take the stairs You know at first you just missed something like that and I was like, okay All right, and I don't think I he told it to me like two more times until I finally realized what he was trying to tell me was that It's not always about getting there the fastest. Um, it's oftentimes about Finding people along the way who are going slow and thinking intentionally and putting in The work and that's just something I've always held with me. I don't even know if that's really what he was trying to tell me But it's something You know, it's like something I picked up is just a very, you know, young person at ut really trying to figure things out and It's something that I've just held with me is that it's okay to go slow. It's okay for things to be hard. It's okay for things It's okay to fall down It's okay to take the stairs, you know, it's it's okay if you don't have the fancy elevator in your building You know, I think all of those things Is just what that statement means for me And I want to meet people who take the stairs too, you know, like who's on the stairs with me like let's do this, you know Let's get our steps in, you know, that's that's been my best piece of advice. I think I'm wearing my apple watch. So I'm counting my steps. So I'm taking the stairs But I think the best part point of advice I've ever heard is actually a Ralph Waldo Emerson quote And so it says do not go where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail And so I take that with me every single day into every single meeting into every single space Because that is literally how I want to show up in this work and how I want to show up in the world So I'll leave that at that The best advice that I've I've ever received Is to show up in spaces that make you uncomfortable And the reason for that is just simply because you can't grow if you're constantly comfortable with everyone who's in the room And I'm always looking for a challenge I'm always looking to learn more especially when it comes to my professional aspect of my life and then my nonprofit and If I don't show up in these spaces, whether that's with a politician or whether that's with other community leaders like you all Then I won't be able to grow as an individual and that's what I'm looking for through my own journey Thank you any other questions We'll get the mic to you Catherine. You mentioned um briefly about self-care and obviously the work you guys are doing is so You know, uh, activating But how do you also make space for yourselves to sort of make sure you're not being emotionally drained doing the work? um I'd be curious. I want to know what y'all are doing So we can share notes. I think on this one. Um So At least for me, I have a deratically restructure my entire life and my relationship to my work I struggle with anxiety and depression. I didn't know that until um, I was about 21 and I'm 25 and um I know I'm turning 26 in like three weeks. All right But um I mean, how do you And we're gonna be really really honest, right? There is um, there is a modern and a contemporary narrative about self-care that is That is rooted in like concepts of massages and getting your nails done. That is a form of self-care.  So my relationship to self-care has been one of honesty About what this work requires and what it requires for me to personally do it and Recognizing that that looks different for different people. Some people might have a fancy elevator But I have stairs, right? So if I'm walking stairs every day, I've got to be mindful of my knees And that's you know, that's something that I'm trying to be more cognizant of Is that my strategies for taking care of myself have got to be Directly responsive to my lived experience and I have to honor my gut and my intuition And I have to honor my truth and sometimes that truth is difficult to put out into the world Because it causes you to be honest with someone you care about or love or You know, for me right now what that looks like. I'm an artist. I'm a musician I've had to put my Creative work on hold for four years for the purpose of rectifying my life and getting into a space where I had a healthy relationship to this project I started and Not doing music although it's like my biggest form of self-care was A form of self-care for four years. I think it's just like you have to really listen to yourself and Um, I really hate when people are like you're just so busy or you just need to stop or whatever that looks like I think we have to give people who are struggling with self-care the space to determine their own strategies and the tools and support that they need By just listening and showing up So I think you have to start on yourself with people who are going to do that for you But that's what self-care looks like for me now. I'd love to hear the thoughts of the other ladies on the panel as well I would drink but I don't drink I don't know I got tired Well, so moona if you have you have a full-time day job You have kids And you also have this pretty heavy Extracurricular engagement that you're doing. I mean had Where do you find the time and how do you set boundaries for yourself? I'll be honest and say that My self-care is doing this work Because if I didn't I won't know how I send my kids to school every day And what I'm doing to make sure that other kids don't get beat up at the playground or whatever It's what helps me go to sleep.  You're so selfless and I'm like, no I'm purely selfish And so I wish I wish that I you know Like my sister lives with me and she came home and she was like, do you not ever just watch tv? Like why are you always doing stuff and um Yeah, I don't I don't get to turn it off Right, so um, I'm I'll be happy when I get to turn it off. I think all of our work will hopefully be done one day But until then I think I'm doing pretty good with self-care right now. Um, right now, right? So there's a book by an honor I know what was a 45 degree angle. What are you doing? That was that question Self-care requires an accountability buddy Emma is mine Emma's definitely mine But there's a book by an Anna Paris Harris who that's a weird last name. I know but the book is amazing So she points out that we need to prioritize our critical needs As self-care needs and so in this book it has like these four categories and one of the most critical needs is obviously eating So I make sure to eat like that is a self-care act That is a radical act because so many people don't even have access to food. So how can I show up for this work? How can anyone show up for this work if we are not feeding our body? So that's one thing that I try to prioritize. I tried meal prepping it lasted maybe a month So that was out the window my next Self-care strategy is one that you hinted at and it is like I go regularly for pedicures I don't take my phone with me. So I'm like off to the world for whatever that 35 minutes is but that is self-care for me Also, I am now in a place of like hardcore boundaries So I need at least two hours to myself each day And I also turn off my emails and auto reply text messages As well as emails like the world one thing that I've learned and that my mom has really like instilled in me forever Is that the world will go on And it absolutely will go on Even if I step out for two hours And then a part of it is also leaning in on community. So folks like emma or folks like jane or anyone Right in this room knowing that you are also leading this work forward And so I rest comfortably in those two hours to myself even if that's just like binge watching law and order But I rest in that time knowing that the world is going to go on and that there are so many amazing Activists fighters proponents advocates whatever name you want to give yourselves bad ass women bad ass men Doing this work and that at the end of those two hours The world will not have ended And I will just pick up and continue doing this work replenished at that point All right, so I mean my routine is kind of similar I think I'm one of those people where I'm always so busy I mean there are a lot of nights where I don't get home till 10 11 o'clock at night And my day starts at 4 45 because I have a trainer now and he doesn't allow me to sleep but I have care Is it because I think it's abuse, but that's another conversation But I think for me I had to learn that um Like when I don't have non-profit events on the weekends when I don't have friends that I have to have to support Um, I just want to stay home. I lock myself in the house. I don't want to talk to anybody My phone is I call it dnd weekends Meaning my phone is on do not disturb if you've contacted me.  You see that she may be streaming something. It's like it's because I don't want to be bothered It's because I genuinely just want time to myself that I don't get during the week Um, and I think the biggest thing for me mill prep actually is a part of self care for me because It's like, okay. Well, what am I going to feed my body this week?  That's a part of taking care of myself making sure that I'm eating properly making sure that You know, I'm avoiding cancers and things like that. And so for me, it's like it takes for me to disconnect I had a tv in my bedroom at one point. I made the guy who installed it take it out and told me to have it I no longer want to tv in my room when I go to bed at night My phone is in the living room. I'm in the room to sleep like that's what the bed is there for So yeah, for me, it's just disconnecting and allowing yourself time to be with yourself because if you're not then you're constantly Scrolling on social media. You're constantly, you know texting your friends and you realize that I don't really have those moments to myself like I don't have time for me and for me my bedroom my apartment All the things I do during the day is my me time. And so yeah, that's that's my routine I don't know how we're doing on time One more question and we've got a question the woman with the glasses on her head their hand raised there The glasses are a new part of my life My question is for lamanda Would you please speak to the expansion of flow code across texas? Yeah so flow code initially we started off as a non-profit in austin right um that was back in 2017 and The goal was just to donate menstrual products to local shelters organizations churches whoever needed donations We wanted to make sure they had them. Um, we are partners with communities in schools So we service over 70 schools in central texas But the long-term goal was to grow. I mean the first year we donated over 100,000 products 2018 we made our goal of 330,000 and it's now may of 2019 and we've already donated over 370,000 70,000 products we have chapters in houston texas now We have a chapter in dentin that's collaborating with dallas. Um, and now we're serving all of central texas So our goal is to just basically take over texas as much as we can I know like there's other non-profits that are doing similar work and they have chapters, you know in different states But I think one thing I learned by running a chapter and having that experience with someone who was saying like I can't manage you I don't want to put my ambassadors through that And so I created this entire year like six page welcome kit for them This is the things that you're going to need these are the people you need to contact and I'm here as a resource for you And my team is here as a resource for you. So Just making sure that we're showing up for our ambassadors across the country and we're still growing So if there's a city that you know that, you know, you may want to see flow code in Get in contact with us that we can get an ambassador that wants to work We will work with them to make sure that they can take over their own city And donate make sure you stop by the table before you go I got you All right, I think we are out of time. Um, thank you ladies so much for being here and for being such inspirations to all of us