Transcribe. Now listen to Father Knows Best starring Robert Young's father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Antisons. Brought to you by Crosley. Makers of pace-setting products for happier living. Crosley Automatic Television, oh boy! Beautiful Crosley-Shelvedore refrigerators, the world's most convenient. Wonderful Crosley Automatic Electric Rangers. Crosley-Shelvedore freezers, color-style radios, and many other leading home appliances. You've heard of Taylen Charlie, haven't you? You know, the youngest member of a family who lives on hand-me-downs and leftovers. Well, his lot isn't really so bad. But every now and then, Charlie decides it's time to rebel. And at a certain white frame house on Maple Street, a Charlie rebellion is underway. Only this Charlie's name is Kathy, like this. Turnbull! You see, Margaret? Well, I certainly prefer it to drop dead. You too, Betty! Kathy, come in here. She's been acting this way for days. I think we ought to take her to a doctor. You take me to a doctor, and you know what I'll tell him? Turn blue. Kathy, stop at this instant.  Little girls, little girls, that's all I ever hear. Betty and Bud get everything, and I don't get anything. Just because they happen to be born first. Kathleen, that's not true. There's no difference in the way we treat you children. Miss, that's so. Betty gets a brand-new green formal, and I get her old pink dress made over. If you don't like the color of your dress, why don't you give it the same treatment you've given us this morning? What do you mean, Daddy? Turn blue. Anybody want to go out and play catch, Kathy? No, I won't. You've got a brand-new mitt, and I've got your old one. Want to play catch, Dan? I'd like to, Bud, but I promised myself I'd clean the basement this morning. Hey, Mom, don't put that doughnut away. I'll eat it. Help yourself, Bud. Mmm. That is good. Can I have a doughnut too, Mommy? Oh, I'm sorry, dear. That was the last one. How about a glass of milk? Somebody else! The very idea you get is much if not more than Betty and Bud. Margaret, if she feels that way, let's be sure. We may be showing partiality without realizing it. From now on, let's bend over backward to see that Kathy is treated like the others. Well, who, Ray? Ray. Every time Betty and Bud get a present, Kathy will get the same thing, or something absolutely equal. Every time they're granted a privilege, Kathy will be granted an equal privilege. Is that a three-way deal, Dan? Certainly. There you are, Kathy. You're on equal footing with the others. Okay. If Bud goes to the movies, you go to the movies too. If Betty gets a new permanent, you get a new permanent. Oh, boy! If Bud gets a doughnut, you get a doughnut. If Betty gets a new dress, you get a new dress. Dad. If Bud gets a tire for his motor scooter, you get a tire for your bicycle. Dad. If Betty gets... I'll get it! If Betty gets the phone, you get it the next time. I'm serious about this, Margaret. Dad. Oh, hi, Jane. Now, what is it, Bud? What would I do with a permanent? For heaven's sake, Bud, I don't mean it that literally. Bud, weren't you going to play baseball? Okay, Mom. How about it, Squirt? Not until I get a new mitt. All right. I was going to get Joe Phillips in the first place. Oh, I know it would be all right with Mother. Don't think I don't appreciate it because I... Shall I explain our agreement to Betty? Just so I don't have to. Mother, I'm going to ask you the most divine favor. Oh, dear. All right. What is it, Betty? Well, there's just the most excruciating new boy in the dramatic club, and Janie says it's all right if I ask him to dinner tonight. May I? Oh, if it's all right with Janie, you'd needn't ask your mother. After all, who does the cooking around here, Janie? Of course not, Father. You don't understand. There is the understatement of the year. This is leap year week. All the girls at school are supposed to ask fellas they've never been out with for dates, and here it is Saturday already. What does Janie have to do with your waiting till Saturday? Well, I borrowed her evening wrap last week, so I had to give her first choice of date, and she planned all along to ask this new love bug, and then at the last minute she lost her nerve, and so she's going to ask Billy Smith, and boy, am I ever glad. Boy, am I ever glad that leap year doesn't come any oftener. Well, I suppose it'll be all right, Betty. Oh, wonderful. You'll love him, Mother. He's real, real George. That's a peculiar name. Father, that's just an expression. Betty, what makes you think this George will swallow the babe? Well, he's just dying to go out with me. Last Thursday when I left dramatic class, he said, good night, and it was obvious that what he really meant was, Betty, as soon as I get the nerve to ask you, I'll be taking you home on Thursday night. Well, he must be a splendid actor to be able to read so much into so little. All right, ask George, and I don't care. Good. Then I'll ask a boy to dinner tonight, too. What? Kathy, are you still here? Naturally. And I know a boy who's real, real George, too. What's she talking about, Mother? Dear, your father and I have promised Kathy that from now on she is to be treated just like you older children. If you can ask a boy to dinner, so can I. Daddy said so.  I can't have Kathy and Jimmy Woody at the same table. I'm not asking Jimmy Woody so fair. Kathy, maybe you'd have more fun if you waited until another night. After all, Betty and her friend are older. I knew it. Now I'm the youngest again, and you're going to go back in your words.  Just a minute, Jim. Betty, I want you to go upstairs and straighten your room. Kathy, you finish drying the dishes. Well, all right. But I have to call him soon, and nothing better happened to spoil my evening. Nothing better happened to spoil my evening, either. Jim, I don't think you had any right to side with Kathy like that. Margaret, we made a promise. But this is important to Betty. Kathy and her friend could be very embarrassing to someone Betty's age. Well, it's important to Kathy, too. Besides, she might decide to make it really embarrassing for Betty if we disappoint her. Unless Kathy promises to behave herself, she can have her dinner in the den. Say, that's the way out of it, Margaret. Let Kathy invite her friend, and the two of them can roast weenies and play games. Well, that might work out. Of course. And I think I'll join them. The side I was equal? Kathy, I asked you to dry the dishes. They were all done. It's all right, Kathy. You can invite your friends tonight. Can I, Mommy? Yes, dear. You'd better call him before your sister ties up the phone for the balance of the year. Of course. Go on. Leap while the calendar's on your side. Oh, Daddy, I couldn't. What do you mean you couldn't? Golly, he's so wonderful. He's so strong. He's got the biggest muscles of anyone in the playground. You call him for me. It was your friend, isn't it? But, Daddy, he can kick a kickball twice as far as anyone else. I just couldn't call him. Oh, for God's sake. Go ahead, Jim. What? This is your idea. Cupid is supposed to handle messages. All right. I'll do it. Never let it be said that Jim Anderson was afraid to face a few muscles, particularly over the telephone. Oh, Daddy, you're wonderful. Now where are you going? What a charming evening. One of our guests will say, wherefore art the potatoes, and the other will kick them at him. Hurry up, Daddy. I've got it. All right. I'm coming. Here it is. Maple, two, three, eight. Let's see. White. Mrs. Leap White. And your friend's name is Howard? Uh-huh. I'm Daddy. All right. All right. And whatever you do, don't say it was my idea. I just hope Howard isn't as bashful as... Oh, hello. Is this Mrs. White? Well, my name is Anderson. Mrs. White, my daughter and your son Howard are evidently pretty good friends, and my daughter thought, Daddy! That is, Mrs. Anderson and I thought it would be awfully nice if Howard had dinner with us this evening. That is, of course, if you allow him out at night. Fine. I can assure you we'll take good care of him. Yes, I'll hang on, Mrs. White. Oh, Daddy, is he coming? Howard's cleaning up the basement, but his mother gave her permission. She's asking Howard now. Oh, I hope he'll come. Maybe he'll come early and lend a hand with our basement. Oh, yes, Mrs. White. Oh, he will? Well, that's fine. Suppose I pick Howard up at about 5.30, and then I'll drive him home again afterwards. Are you sure he can get home safely? Thank you very much. Goodbye. Funny, his mother didn't seem the least concerned about how or when he got home. I certainly don't think a fourth grader should be out by himself after dark. A fourth grader? Howard White happens to be the assistant director at the school playground. What? He's in charge every afternoon from 3 to 5. It's part of his college work. Kathy, do you mean to say I've invited a grown-up physical education student to be your date? Why not? But, Kathy... Well, I've finished my room. Now may I have some privacy while I call my date? Go ahead. You sure you can do it yourself? Of course I'm sure. What do you mean? I've just played John Olin for Kathy, and I'll be happy to do the same for you. Father, I am perfectly capable of inviting Howard for dinner. Howard? Yes, Howard White. Howard White? Oh, no. Betty Anderson turned blue. Globally intelligent Hollywood star Margaret Lindsey. Good evening. You know, some of my friends are still missing all of today's wonderful, endlessly fascinating television entertainment. And when I ask why they don't own television, some say they live in neighborhoods where television reception is poor. Well, that simply is not too much of a problem anymore. Not when you own Crosley automatic television. You see, the exciting new Crosley sets automatically boost a weak signal to give you the clearest, sharpest, brightest picture possible, even in extreme fringe areas. And that picture automatically stays rock-steady and free from picture disturbances. Yes, and with Crosley, when the picture's right, the sound's right too. Your Crosley sees to that automatically. The only thing you do to enjoy the finest picture and performance in television is turn the Crosley Unituner to the station you want. It's as easy and accurate as tuning a radio. Then you relax in uninterrupted comfort as your Crosley adjusts itself automatically. Tomorrow you see your Crosley dealer. Admire the lovely, authentically styled Crosley cabinets. Watch Crosley automatic television in action. You'll say, here's the finest in television priced to make you doubly happy. It's an hour before the guests arrive at the Andersons on Maple Street for an unexpected yet very exclusive dinner party. All the guests are Howard White. Is dinner partner? Well, equality reigns, so take your pick. Like this. Just give me one reason why Howard White would be interested in you. Just one reason. I'm a girl. I set a reason, not an opinion. Betty. Howard's mine. He's mine. He's mine. It's a good thing Howard has enough biceps to go around. Honestly, every time I think of Father calling a grown man's mother to ask him to dinner. Father, how could you have done such a thing? How could you? It was quite easy. I used the telephone. Oh, come on girls. We'll all have fun. We'll share Howard. It's going to spoil all my plans for the evening. I thought we'd sit by the fire reading Romeo and Juliet together. Oh. Daddy said Howard and I could play games together. Well, he can't very well play kicking games with you while he's reading Shakespeare with me. Oh, I don't know. He could just kick his lines around. Anyway, we weren't going to play kicking games. Thank goodness for that.  He is not. He's mine. He's mine. Girls, I've had about enough of this. Go to your rooms and try to remember you're both supposed to be ladies. That thing a lady? She's a child. And she's acting like one, just like one. And you, Tallulah, are acting just a little too much today. Go on.  Girls, your guest, our guest, will be here in about 30 minutes. You'd both better get dressed. All she needs is a bruise. Margaret, what's wrong with us? It sounds like we're raising a couple of hair-pulling she-tigers. Now, Jim. Our own daughters ready to scratch each other's eyes out over a man. And such a man. I can hardly wait to meet him. Margaret, I'm worried if you're not, the least you could do is try to help me find a peaceful solution to this mess. Let's be realistic for a minute. Howard undoubtedly thought you were asking him to be Betty's guest. And it isn't logical that a boy of 20 would be interested in a girl nine years old. I guess you're right, Margaret. Then why don't you explain it to Kathy before Howard arrives? She'll understand. Oh, sure. Cajun to wear it. Jim, that talk... Daddy, Daddy, tell Betty I can wear her sweater. Tell her, Daddy. Imagine the nerve, Mother. My Christmas cashmere. My most prized possession. Why do you have Betty's sweater on, Angel? You have a new one of your own. Not one 10 sizes too big for her. Can't you see how good it goes with my green skirt? Can't you, Daddy? What green skirt? She's wearing it. Only it's under the sweater. It does seem to be a little large, Kathy. But sloppy joes are fashionable. That is not a sloppy joe. It is on me. Kathleen returned Betty's sweater. But she wore it yesterday. And what Daddy said this morning means I can wear it today. You know very well it means no such thing. Betty, I'll get your sweater. Please finish dressing. Yes, Mother. Sometimes I wish I didn't have so much acting talent. Thank you for the sweater, Kathleen. Okay, here it is. That's a good girl. Now, I better take a look at the dinner. You two don't need me, do you, Jim? Well... Something might boil over. Yeah. Wear my own sweater. Just because I'm the ugly one. Why, Kitten, you're not ugly. And your own sweater is very pretty. It is not at fifths. Anyway, Howard likes me. Sure he does, Kitten. In a way. Sit down, let's talk a minute. Okay. Been kind of rough around here today, hasn't it? I'm sorry, Daddy. But if Betty thinks she can take Howard away from me, just like that, she's wrong. The whole thing was an unfortunate mistake, Kathy. Betty didn't know you and Howard were friends when she decided to ask him to dinner. But she didn't ask him. You asked him for me, remember? And he likes me real well. Honest, Daddy. I can tell by the way he treats me at the playground. Well, suppose you tell me all about it, baby? Well, it kind of all started at second base. I tried to steal second, and Howard called me safe. So I wasn't even sorry I skinned my knee. Well, that follows. And then do you know what he did? He put a bandage on my knee. Well, that was nice. Did he ever bandage Betty's knee? Well, let's hope not. Look, Kathy, wouldn't you just as soon ask Jimmy Woody to dinner some other night? I don't want Jimmy Woody some other night. I want Howard tonight. Oh, Kathy, there's no need to cry about it. And I invited him first. Kathy, Howard's going to be here in a very few minutes. We'll figure something out. You don't want him to see those tears, do you? No. Well, then, why don't you just go put your sweater out for dinner, okay? Okay, Daddy. How'd it go? About as successfully as Stanford in the Rose Bowl. Oh, Jim, didn't you settle it? Margaret, look, Kathy's being silly all right, but she's quite serious. I just couldn't tell her it was no goal. I know, dear, but that doesn't solve our problem. Well, the problem can solve itself. The girls will share real George Howard, and that's that. We're going to stay a happy family if it kills us. Jim, he's here. What shall we do? We could water bag him from upstairs. But, Jim, he'll probably have his goods soon. The only other alternative is to answer the door and get it over with. But... Hi, Dad. What are you doing ringing the doorbell? I just wanted to see who answers it when I'm not home. Well, now you see. But I must admit it's certainly good to see you, but... Honest, Dad? Any problems? Want to have anyone to dinner? Huh? Your father means, uh, how was the movie? Tired. Turned out to be one of those sticky deals about two girls mooning over one guy. And you know how those things are, Dad. I'm afraid I do. Hey, nice to see you. Hey, nice to see you. Oh, Bud. Hey, what's going on around here? Bud, quit while you're ahead and don't ask. The girls are having a guest for dinner. A guest? Oh, you should have told me. I would have brought Joe home. We're supposed to have stuff equal around here, aren't we? Stuff is equal. We're all having the same guest. Oh. Well, who is he? Howard White. Do you know him, Bud? I know who he is. I just wrote past him about a block down the street. He's less than a block away? Yeah. Hey, you know what? I'll bet he's heading here. He'll walk right by if he's smart. He's coming. He's coming. I saw him from the window. Now listen, girls. One thing has to be understood. You're going to be ladies while Howard's our guest. You're going to share him equally. Now I'm sitting next to him at dinner. You are not. I am. Howard can sit between you. That looks silly, Father. The three of us on one side and Bud and the food on the other. I won't mind. Well, we'll have to change the table in a hurry, except for two on a side now. He's turned up the walk. It's really nothing with those muscles. Wait, Mother. Why don't we do it the fair way? Let Howard decide which one of us he'd prefer to sit next to. Betty. That's okay with me. Howard won't fail me. I'll get it. I don't want Howard trampled. You sure as bad as those goons in the picture. Good evening. I'm Jim Andis. How do you do, sir? I'm Howard White. Oh, let me take your coat, Howard. Thank you, sir. I can't tell you how happy we are to have you. All of us. Oh, thank you. Howard, how terribly nice to see you. Hi, Howard. Kathy, Betty. I didn't know you two were sisters. Occasionally. Margaret, this is Howard White. How do you do, Howard? Hello, Mrs. Anderson. I'm sorry I'm late, but Mother insisted I wait to bring some of these cookies she just baked. Well, thank you. That was very kind of her. How is your mother, Howard? I haven't talked with her since this afternoon. Why don't you come sit on the sofa, Howard, next to me? Look, Howard. I brought my kickball inside to show you. Kathleen, baby. You're not supposed to play kickball in the living room. I'll turn her blue personally. Oh, Howard, you haven't met, but... Hi, Bird. Say, I've seen you around. Sure, I rode past you five minutes ago. Oh, no. You're on the high school basketball team. I saw you play last week. You did? How nice. Howard, would you like to see my... You look real good out there, bud. Alert. I played a little ball myself. Hey, you're Howard White. Atta boy, bud. I like the fast break that Coach has given you, bud. It keeps you busy, huh? Sure, but it's fun. We're running through some new plays tonight. Get ready for the tournament. Oh, I'd like to see them. Would you like to see my electric football game, Howard? Maybe later, Kathy. I think we'd better sit down to dinner now. Don't you, Jim? Sure. Everyone's that? Of course. You bet. Well, good. We're a very informal family, Howard. No particular places at the table. Very casual, you know. You know. Well, that's fine with me.  That's a splendid idea, Jim. Well, Howard, who would you like to sit next to? Betty? Kathy? Well, Mr. Anderson, if it's all the same to you, I'd sure like to hear about this basketball play, so I think I'll sit next to Bud. You'll sit next to... Jim. Gee, if you're that interested in the plays, Howard, why don't you come to practice with me after dinner? What, you like to practice with me? What's so funny? Yeah, what's so funny? You two have been telling each other to turn blue all day. Well, you've done it. You know, friends, when you own crossley automatic television, you never have to jump up from your chair to fiddle with controls. No, sir. Once you've turned the crossley unituner to the station you want, that's it. Crossley does all the rest, automatically, to bring you the brightest, clearest, sharpest picture in television. While even in fringe areas, in places where reception is considered poor, crossley's picture and performance are the finest. For example, the crossley picture is the steadiest you've ever seen, and it stays that way automatically. Your crossley set automatically eliminates virtually all picture disturbances, too. And with crossley, when the picture's right, the sound's right, automatically. Compare crossley. You'll agree, feature for feature, here is the world's finest in television. Dollar for dollar, here's today's top TV value. See crossley automatic television at your crossley dealer tomorrow. The leap year dinner at the Andersons is over. The honored guest is at a basketball practice with Bud and proving that Misery Loves Company, two young ladies who leap too late at Howard White, have been turning blue together, aided by Shakespeare. Like this. But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the East and Juliet is the sun.  Oh no. Couldn't we have just one more good cry together before we go to bed?  Then see and hear crossley's color-styled radios, their tone engineered to provide clear, sharp radio reception without fading or blasting from stations near or far. And crossley cabinets are decorator design, sparkling beauties that add lovely highlights of color to any room. Choose your favorite crossley color-style radio from a variety of color combinations and sizes at your crossley dealer. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson with Roy Bargy's Orchestra. In our cast, where Norma Jean Nielsen as Kathy, Gene Vanderpile, Rhoda Williams, Ted Donaldson, and Roland Morris. So until next week at this same time, good night and good luck from the crossley division of the Avco Manufacturing Corporation. America's leading manufacturer of today's pace-setting refrigerators, television and radio sets, electric ranges, home freezers, and many other products for happier living. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Paul West with Fran Van Hardsveld and Callie Curtis. Now it's Mr. Keen, Tracer of Lost Persons on NBC.


What's up chat? What's up YouTube? Just need a podcast episode 115 Sorry episode 114 was cut off of YouTube taken down some type of music some type of blockage some type of Hateration in the world a lot of subs already in chat. This is a big-time podcast cuz we got some action We got some I mean, it's been a slow slow slow Slow slow year in the MCS So I would say this was probably our best type of games or the best games we've watched all All year, I mean, I don't know if you guys would agree or disagree, but let's get into it This is the podcast. We got some things to talk about as always as always boys. Here we are Episode 115 super excited Super hyped to actually talk about some Madden. I feel like this show started off as Madden Madden discussions breakdowns philosophies Monday morning quarterbacks so to speak But you know, it's kind of transformed it. Let's just make fun of people which is okay We're honestly better at that than we are better at Madden. I'm saying fresh Baldy I'm saying I got the fresh y'all fee right here for the evening I'm good to go. All right. I'm good to go boys. All right So some feeling it was a big week The first few carpacas we broke down game film we did we broke down some game film And now We'd make fun of people. I'll be honest because we can't sit around and wait for the MCS You know, if you make your content off other people then you're only gonna be as good as they put out contents So we had to make our own content which included Comparing people's bedrooms a little wild, but you know, it was good content see what's on their walls Someone once said somebody has a plain-ass room. That was once a joke told in a podcast plain-ass room That's how low we stooped sometimes the chat stoopes that low that you can't have a plain-ass room Nothing wrong with a plain-ass room. Maybe they just moved there, you know Yeah, like, you know, it's it's about growth You got to see where the show goes you have to see what the people want to watch, you know And you got to learn those things now Madden is always the cornerstone of the show. So today we get some great action Action and this was probably the best group of games we've seen all year I'll be honest the games because there's so little games we get so excited for them Most of them have been have been disappointing this year. You guys can tell me what was a great game this year. I Don't know You know at because I think the lead up to them and just in the anticipation other than this week I think this week had some good ones this week had some good ones for sure. It is Earl week This is the official Earl week. I Mean Earl vs. Salty was top five game of the year. We'll be honest Well, I'll penetrate the cat. Good question. We will get to that Let's talk about CP tools mail because I went to the mailbox today got some more things from the people now You guys gonna have to start tagging me if you're gonna send stuff you guys start tagging me now I got one of these onesies burn. I got the eagle onesie boom From the boys now forget which one of you guys sent this to me Because y'all didn't put no it was no tag on it. No, nothing. Which one of you guys sent me to Eagles onesie You know and I swear I talked to this person. I talked to this person fairly often too But I just don't have the DM anymore So I definitely got the Eagles onesie sent in the mail There it is for the CP3 now. This says six months, but honestly, this is like a little bit small You know saying this was you strike. I think you're cabin The Eagles onesie now I did get my boy does have the flyers gear He's got the Phillies gear and you know, he has the Sixers gear. So he's all four for four Uh Right So there it is boom Got the Eagles onesie JJ off say no more my man JJ. Thank you. There it is. I See, that's what I mean, man. Y'all don't y'all don't be putting enough notes when you send stuff There's not always notes from Amazon or from wherever, but he got a nice eagle onesie Like I said, this look like six months, but he might have to wear this this week. I'm saying now My man the goat Skomo himself also came through now last week we started CP2 males portion of the podcast talking about Skomo how he sent us a lot of champagne for the baby and for me and Sarah But he also sent me mad cards, dude.  Maybe in my homes I really don't know what the cards are then they told me only rookie cards are really worth anything So I said, let me maybe get my man a Herbert something like that because you know Herbert's my guy But Skomo sent me all these cards for a little CP to Jalen hurts rookies all the all the Eagles he got you got Jalen hurts Wants more Jalen hurts Jalen hurts all these a Panini rookie cards Jalen hurts We got Lane Johnson all the Eagles Jalen Rager rookie cards With Miles Sanders with this exact hurts more wence Quezz Watkins to shine Jackson's all over but all these different cards different colors I really don't know too much about him But he definitely sent me all these to give the CP to all these red cards blue cards green cards So he definitely sent the champagne and sent all these cards. So we're hooked up with the Um With the the Carson wences and the um in the Jalen hurts is so who knows maybe I'll show him these one day and say You know, this was the year you were born uncle Skomo got your this now I did see Skomo did What's him cause Skomo did? Announced that he's having a baby So we're gonna have to make sure we get him some tough when it's time for that So like I said my man hung like Shrek JJ with their Eagles onesie fresh bust out right there boom Put it on my boy, you know, he's got to be Eagles man. This is good I I only think I have about ten Eagles onesies this all black This is my style right here for sure so he's went rock this definitely and Skomo with the cards so I could add starter collection I already bought candle. I've been buying Eagles cards just Eagles players So I'll be able to show them that too So that's pretty dope. So like I said if you type exclamation point PO box, you can get the PO box Send whatever you like every week. We'll do one of these Barring something in them in the mailbox right there. That's the PO box right there. You send whatever you want We'll send Skomo something for sure You know, but that is the PO box a sentence something for CP to he's sleep right now Be honest, I was gonna wake him up, but my mother-in-law is here She's staying with us for the week to help take care of the baby and she was like no He and she's like, you know, I told you she's African after she's like, no, he can't he can't he can't wake up He's sleep. I was All right, so that's why CP to his sleep Maybe he'll wake up by the end of the podcast come and thank you guys my man Shrek JJ the legend and my man And my man Skomo of course Ah Where we are we are all right, but that was CP to his mail. Let's talk about joke um Now let's take a look at the brackets. Let's take a look at your I don't know where your brackets are I'll be honest. I mean, this is pretty much. What else is there to really talk about? You know Wesley kind of cheated Spoto. I see the Spoto man in the chat Wesley kind.   Let's take a look at what the brackets look like I don't know if you as anybody have a clean bracket yet, man Does anybody have a clean bracket now? Listen you listen you can't be mad at a person getting lucky now I heard some rumors and before we start all this I heard some rumors about Wesley being the luckiest player ever Does as anybody on that train is any a matter of fact, let's save the Wesley luckiest because that's part of that's part of My that's you see you see that's part of my topics That's part of my that's part of the topics is part of the topics now it's part of the topics So we will get to that. Okay. Listen We will get to that. So let's not start let's not start killing the I took first of all I preface everything I'm talking about. I told you about the west curry stock. I just told you guys All right, so let's look at the how the bracket how the bracket displayed itself What is this? What is going on right now? We are in shambles Uh, this is how the brackets turned out yesterday. This is what we watched we watched all these games Prodigy versus ice Um ice wins that game. No, we'll beat that boy. Um, I'll be real. I'm I'm I'm high on the noah stock I think I told you guys I was high on the noah stock going into it but You know Let's see. We'll see how it goes Um, tony and jeff tony obliterated jeff jeff looked like he bro that jeff looked like he he didn't play madden for three weeks, bro Or three months jeff jeff. That was the worst jeff looked in in any tournament really Expected we really thought jeff and tony was going to be a good fight jeff got pummeled Pavin versus madden elite. I felt like this was a kind of a good one Um, pavin once again moves on and then he beats tony. He moves on to the final eight with noah Uh, this is pretty much chalk how I don't know how you guys had your bracket But that's how I had it noah versus pavin. Um, I think I was right on every other game I did have prod you being nice. So I was one I was I got only got one game wrong in the top There it is cc in the building Cc the actual cc white badge 39 months All right, so then we go ahead to the bottom john b's first came back A lot of you guys had came back a lot of y'all were high on the k max stock I could pull up next week's video. I know what I have I remember my picks because I do this professionally.  I don't know we watch k mac play right k mac is a spread demon You know when he went in he went in there playing trips tight in Didn't look like k mac on offense. I'll be honest. That's not the k mac we know in love It didn't look like him right He was not sharp You know so but and john beast and I told you john beast is um, he's one of those players He's one of those players that's been grinding the game a lot the last couple years and he's definitely popping up I agree. I felt like k mac was not sharp. He was not the k mac. We know in love The spread isn't calm. Why why not?   I don't know.  All right. That's how I feel All right But for me, like I said I never liked mixing up my schemes for real for real But I said k mac did not look too sharp um He got popped John B's move on joke survive j s the best I know we were all rooting for j s the best but joke survived Crotobas raining put hands on crotoban. Wesley put hands on spoto, you know moved on Uh, but I mean, you know, we can talk about that. But let's talk about joke. That's why we're here Let's let's talk about joke because that's why we're here. This is why we want to let us why we want to watch, right? There's no other reason Love when joke loses I mean now The guts of the game. This is what we like boys the guts of the game, right?  It depends on what you want. It depends on who you are This is the guts. This is the guts. This is nickelodeon guts right now Is it not is this is the guts of the game right here? We got a Money drive situation now and I've been talking to journey the last couple days About Wesley game and everything and I'll tell you guts right If you ask joke First any player in the world joke, I'll give you a seven point lead Two minute warning. You're on defense. He has to drive the field to score on you joke would say sure no way I would take that 10 out of 10 times Right, honestly, I think most every player would take that scenario now, right? Even if you're not even the best defensive player because it is hard to drive down the field With the clock run run downs and everything like that and needing a touchdown It's tough Four is great. Just like journey was up If they need a touchdown, let's give him I would tell you obviously being up seven is better because Worst case scenario, we're going to overtime, right? Or maybe you might even get the ball back to get a field ball, right? I'm up seven Zero pressure on joke zero zero zero now John joke makes adjustments to win now dual sports. We will talk about some adjustments now. Here we move on Uh, now I will tell you john beast was scrapping. I'll be honest. Everybody was scrapping in this tournament I don't know if anybody looked good on offense Everybody was scrapping. I don't think I don't think anybody was really clean really fluid pause on offense Is there a bigger upset? Uh, I don't know I mean, obviously it's a huge upset.  So yeah, it's obviously a huge upset You know, I just I feel But so we have joke now listen, I ain't got time for all this I just want to get to the guts of the game a little that underneath somehow sand mills is in the game As I hear nick As I hear nick talking, I just want to preface all those by saying great job by the ea staff everybody They do a great portion of the tournament so far. We're still getting underway, but nick is awesome Uh, which my man t davis is awesome user of course is is the best ever.   There you go.  Let's mix in a little run get the clock going Now this is where champions are made This is where this is where I mean bro. What do you even call?  He only rushes four I I mean not a bad not a bad toss. I liked what I saw.  What are you getting mad at? John beast is saying what do I cook up? I got a third and 13. This is damn. They're third and impossible third and impossible What do you go to looks like a lot of cornerouts? A lot of action He's got playmaker. He's looking for Gonzalez or camara He's got one-on-one throw it now He he high key got cheated right there now this play this play Joked in like that But joked didn't like that right That play struck fear into his heart that play struck fear into his heart.  Then Gonzalez almost got him and he knows bro. I kind of got lucky right there I kind of got lucky now This is what For me So what does jokes say now? This is something I might say Yeah, this is how he's like.  I got lucky and john beast is the same way damn now. I have a fourth and 13 now check Give me the probability of a fourth and 13 from the 20-yard line. What's our probability? I'm thinking about 10 percent Maybe less 10 j. Dubbs is right with me 10 westley says one seven five.  You know I feel like if they blitz they kind of give me a shot Right. Does anybody else feel that way? They kind of give me a shot if they blitz everybody Right. Does anybody feel that way? They kind of give me a shot make a read Uh, somebody's going to be open at least so to speak somebody's going to be open now Here we go But this is this is when I didn't like the call right When he goes when he goes Not because listen you can blitz. Oh damn. This is how we were and listen This is how we all were when we realized joke was going to win. This was really we were all like this Everybody in the chat everybody at home in the stands. This was our feeling. We were bad It was rough for us okay, so He says y'all lost like I'll be I we don't all been in madden games. I've been in mad games I say y'all lost We can we can sit here.  Keep your eyes on the prize. Stay confident. No when that happens. I lost I'm not going to get a chance like that again.   All right. I ain't got nothing to lose now Right now.  I'm just a tad as john b's used the time out You got to give him a little you got to shock him a little bit now once you use that time out This is the whole game right here. So you got to give him a little bit of surprise Now when I get to the line and I see this You haven't ran this all day Right, you haven't run this all day So to me there's one bro. He's blitzing everybody He's not bluffing me. Why would he come out on this if he's bluffing me? There's zero bluff to this Right, I don't get listen.  There is no bluff at all. There's no bluffing this. I'm coming to get the quarterback And john b says, okay, let me do this. Let me go over here.  I guess it is god. Why is shitty zone? That's a quarter I'd be pissed Are y'all sure that's a quarter This is a quarter Yo I feel like it's a per I feel like it's a cloud or something I don't know boy. Y'all tell me y'all y'all y'all the experts when it comes to that's this zone Skimbo knows bro with a skimbo. Oh, well, he's on his left foot slanted to the right So that's definitely a cloud It's kevin king. It's kevin king I don't know what it is That's a cloud So I Fourth and 13 Now I think quarters suck But I think if I if I was blitzing everybody I think I'd go quarter there. I don't know you guys like naturally That's what I would do if I was blitzing everybody.  A bluff blitz Bro and then john bees blocks everybody Because he has playmaker he can actually do that because this guy is actually three routes He's three routes not one Man, he made the right. Yeah, he made the right guess. He made it pretty obvious.    Yeah, he went crazy, bro. He went crazy And I honestly that that was probably one of the worst defensive plays of all time Especially for a man that has six points But it gets better It gets listen just when they thought we were done Just when we thought we were done it gets better Now let me tell you something As a madden player Right after you give this up, right? You have this like natural human A human Mental thing that you know what let me make up for this.  There you go. Okay That's the new profile pic now.  I just did some bullshit, right?  I just bit so you're your frustration and like anger and like I don't know sorrow. I guess from from calling that shitty defensive play Translates into your next offensive play or your next couple minutes of the game Uh, the rage blitz that same type of vibe exactly now Joke does come out here and run stretch because you know if you pop a good stretch This is some real nfl stuff. He calls a timeout. We have 18 seconds on the clock You know, we have the super kickers you can kick from what the 30 40 something like 38 40 So you need a good dot Um, so for me Jokes not high powered. He's not a high powered player But one that is capable. I would certainly try for one dot As we see him with a little motion here.  I'm okay with overtime, right like, okay Okay madden. Thank you.  All right You say, you know what that's enough.  Listen.  He said hold my beer madden He goes with this Now We got 10 seconds now. I will preface this play Now I will preface. I will preface this play, right? The likelihood of joke throwing an interception All the way down the field and it being returned in field goal range in 10 seconds is kind of slim Does anybody agree with me on that like it's kind of It's kind of slim that he would throw a pick To get picked off not only not a short pass, but a pretty deep pass to get picked off and ran back You know what I'm saying like and ran back in the field goal range Now I will tell you the probability of that is probably higher than the probability of him getting points in this situation Right, there's not that big. There's no the risk reward here. Not that great No, but here goes joke motion this guy motion that guy Five man rush here from john beast.  What else is he gonna throw here? He's trying to get points Like he stays on his feet catches the ball at four seconds now in front of him Bro that I might get in the field goal range right here I might I might get I might get uh in the field will range right here Now I'm not gonna say I might have tried to score there might have failed, but you know Yo, was he doing a wiggle?  Was it oh watch his chair hold on No, bro. What's his chair? No, he's doing a wiggle, bro.  You can't do this No No, I gotta hear the audio, bro We gotta hear the audio I think he's not I think he was doing a wiggle, bro. I don't know. I think he was wiggling Oh better little now. Oh Come on, bro.  You got at least tuck your sheets in on the come on, bro This is this is bro. You bro the chair hurting a little bit john beast, bro There bro. We got let let her row row row bro See look at the chat We start talking about bedrooms and the check gets riled up and they wonder why we don't talk about madden players anymore Look at the chat now.   Is this tree branches like what is this shit?  Don't they like venom when he like transforms?  Oh, it's not his room.  Why have you been to this room? I don't know all I know is this the room I saw him in so therefore it's his room Did he go to his cousin's house? Is he at the motel six? They're anthony right there with the 50 bomb mid podcast. He's back The yifty yam See there I see that when we start talking about bedrooms And things of that nature and the shake that john beast did things change my man anthony with the yifty yam Whoa No, anyway back to this plastic wrapped bed frame. This is a nasty bed There's a lot of nastiness right now when I can't lie this whole setup is just What's the paneling on the walls? Big anth is back. Yeah, and you can't bad last night and bro I mean, but but He said he'd be back He he was in my DMs. He said listen, I'm a regroup. He said, oh, we will I will regroup and I said, okay I'll take a man for his word at least once right boys. It's the guest room How are you gonna put a guest on this? How is the guest room the guest is supposed to come over and sleep on this?  You got some nasty guests.  That's some nasty guests Hey, yo, this is where you sleep bro Yeah Don't put no guests in this room.  Yeah, I see it. Yeah, I see it for a room Yeah, I see it. Yeah, I see it. Watch watch.   What are we doing? What are we doing? Yeah, that was funny. So John Beast did anybody had John Beast Did anybody have him be in joke moving on my man wapa in the building with the three months my man D miles is in here with five months SVC Whoo security brain security brains Drenny blitz the crib and lost to yeah What we're gonna get to Drenny. We just had to talk about joke now I feel like everybody killed joke after this game, bro. The competitive players in particular now. Be honest I'm not the biggest. This is how I feel bro like If I lose I'm not going to be happy when the next person wins. I don't know I feel like if I lost I can rule for people, right?    I feel like if I had it if I couldn't do the job I can rule for somebody but I feel like I can't publicly troll no more, bro And I think problems different cuz problem I mean has super accolades and they've obviously gone back and forth.  Chat that's a good question for the chat baiting. Why is joke so hated?  There's not like Problem look at problem. Listen. No, see listen problem has the most accolades ever, right? But does he ever say that? Does problem ever get into argument say I won X Y Z does problem ever say that? Skimbo has three belts. Does he ever like bring that up? Like seriously bring that up Drenny I don't even know what Drenny talks about Drenny doesn't even talk You know saying if joke didn't have Twitter we would like him.  Who knows? Drenny doesn't have social media. Do we like Drenny now? I mean, you know what he got social media But he doesn't really have social media He did go he did go against the then you don't go against the then In fact, I've learned in my man career the more time I've spent in the den The bet the more success I've had I try to spend at least, you know 10 to 15 minutes in the den per box stream just being honest Not only take too much from it. I just like the atmosphere, you know, I like the vibes. I learn a little bit No You the more you embrace the den the more success you'll have You don't cross the day ride the den rides. Oh, they ride I mean, I the den has not grown on me thrown. I would not go that far But I appreciate the time I spend in there See then listen We talk about man all the time. That's enough skimble says bro The more you proclaim your accolades the less bright they get or the the less Strength they have, right?  So this would be definitely a disappointing year and is the year over To be determined right boys, if you were asked right now, do we get another man tournament? Would you bet your life on yes or no if you were asked right now? What would you do?  Draid on my guy with five months, man. What would you pick? That's what I'm saying. So it was the year over skimble. I disagree one million percent with that This is the worst year to be a pro player via the MCS But there is a thousand dollar tournament three times a week Do you I like MCS wise? Yes This is the shittiest format to just live off the MCS Players lounge knows a thousand dollar tournament every week Players lounge does it to players lounge mud head these nights tournaments, bro There are events every single week period. There are So from it from a EA standpoint, it is the worst year because of one tournament one opportunity But from a overall standpoint, I think There are opportunities to win tons of money really Yes, yes MCS wise trash, but all in all the rest of the world is growing and I Hope we are starting to lean realize bro Like and a lot of the man players are here start realize like bro like we can make money off these other events and shit like that Warner, what's up? I don't know. That's what we're asking Zeus. Is there going to be a MCF draft champs? I mean Why would they I'd be real? What as we've all been doing our own watch parties and just what I felt like the the EA event the EA Viewership on this tournament has been trash. I Mean as in boss for that way, I've gotten to the point where I've gotten to the point where if Me skimbo and problem did one big watch party. We could beat them. I Feel like we could beat them. I Feel like we could beat them bro Or we the least fight or we the least fight with them We the least fight No, they don't need anybody They don't need anybody and the Fox bro. We got the Fox on board. Oh, we would flood we would flood EA Yes, so for me, it's like why would they throw another tournament? You know Let's ask ourselves that why Why would they draw another tournament? Think about it. All right, that and that's what I asked. Why would they in fact? Why would they even have MCS next year? Somehow they are getting tons of sponsorship. I don't know where this money is going, but Why get a commemorative? That's a good question. Thomas Jeff Jeff is alive and well shout out to Thomas Jeff being alive and well. That's good, buddy. That's good It's easier to run while people are at home. Do you think that I Don't know about that one there partner. I don't know. I haven't won anything to do one of these at home live events I haven't done one of those Pizza Hut Yeah, they have a lot of sponsors and I guess what you're selling the sponsor on is Viewership you have to as I've got in this world. That's what you sell people on. You know, that's what we get paid for Okay, give me your razor controller.  So EA selling point is what I'm wanting to do a tournament And I'm one of there's gonna be 5,000 people watching it You know, so they You know, I don't know how 10k. I don't have that. That's not what I seen That's not what I seen. I don't know. I don't know what they do. But Listen, they're better at their job than I am.  What are they doing? Well, the next level tournament had the front page of twitch 20k, right? The next level alone had that. How do you not at least have the front you are EA? How do you at least not have the front page of twitch? That's crazy to me. I don't know what they're doing. Who knows what they're doing Who knows what they're doing?   I don't know Anyway, let's get on to the so deemed luckliest madden player ever That's what they've been calling my man West West being the West being West Curry Wesley Gittens Tacla squid Joe Rice. I told you guys about Joe Rice Did I not tell you guys a week ago on this show? My stock is high on Joe Rice. I told you guys this I Told you guys this Now do any of you guys feel like he is the Like he is the What's my car like he is the Luckiest player ever does anybody feel that way cuz for me it's still books 1 million percent. It's still books 1 million percent But Wesley is passing them up books when a whole club on a black field goal to the crib like what like that's Amazing that's amazing. I Told King I told you I was high on the Noah stock I told you I was high on the Noah staff Wesley stock and the gold stock.  Honestly, I Was I was um What you call it? Well, I say I was gonna call it.  Come on, bro Like y'all can bugs is not even close like come on, dude Books is not even close. It's not even close. It's not even close. Books is so far. He's so far luckier than Wesley. It's not close bro for real Yeah, Wesley caught a couple passes maybe but block kicks to the crib to win a whole club We're on side kicks, bro. You cannot gauge this stuff Yeah, come on, bro. Don't give me a oh, he lost somebody. He's lucky. Come on, bro Your onsides were labbed All right, so Wesley Probably had the toughest two games chat Spoto former Club runner-up former man bull runner-up Spoto, right?   I'm asking you guys chat Has anybody started buying the Wesley stock because I told you last week get it while it's hot Now it might be a little bit too hot to go get John B stock. Oh, no Spoto start I'm told you I had the Wesley stock and the gold stock. Those are my stocks All right.  You don't count, bro. Come on Hi on the fancy stock. I feel like the winner of Henry verse ghost wins the NFC So I feel So I feel and my is there's something to break down in Wesley verse Drini Drini gave up flat routes to lose the game Povin stock is gone. I feel like pop and stock was always high It's like a favorite, you know, the Wesley was like a mid-tier, right? Wesley wasn't what oh we ain't talking about Wesley wasn't a high favorite. He was more of a mid-tier player, right?  Hear me on this it goes one or two ways Earl loses 35 to 10 Or he wins by three in the clutch if it's a tight game if it's a tight game I'm telling you that from them. Listen All games are winnable Why do we let the plebes in here boys? Why why? Earl's eating spaghetti the night before Earl's got a big spaghetti. He's got a big spaghetti Um, the spaghetti meal already on deck. Earl's got spaghetti on deck. I don't mind if I'm no matter five running back five wide Where Earl is he banned? Is Earl banned? Jesus Christ.  I mean Will master be with D croft now I can I I see a little bit master in D croft D croft might be the six five match their gamer. I don't know it's salty too good for bot wars. I Listen, the next let me tell you this as people ask about bot wars all the time The next format is in development right now. Okay boys. It's in development. How about I tell you guys this Next week we have an announcement. Okay when bot wars is going to be next week We have the official announcement on the format boss bot wars part two on the format on the contestants and The date next week. Okay, because it's on it is it is in the works I'm telling you guys behind the scenes the hamsters are spending the bot wars formats. Okay We've talked about squad bot wars We've talked about the same format with secret bosses. We've talked about Get five bosses get a couple new contestants a new challenges We've talked about a bunch of different people could possibly be in bot wars and To me and you know, I've taken all these suggestions Everything you guys have mentioned I've taken it and I've took it in and I've said, you know, what can I use that? That's what I think when an idea crosses my plate. I say, can I use that idea? Do I do I store it away for later? Do I use it immediately? But listen, I see them all I Taking all the ideas so squads bot wars You know what I don't want six people on the mic You know, I don't want that I'm trying to find my way To do a squad bot wars The best way really No, we're not announcing tonight. It's not happening tonight. It's not it's not in it's not entrenched yet So let's take a look at what you can call it Let's take a look at the the NFC bracket. All right because Let me go over here. We can look at the top first Like I said, this is probably the game of the first round is ghost first Henry, right? You know, I I picked ghost in this one. I picked ghost. I think the winner of this Wins the NFC for me. That's that's how I feel Ghosts is a belt winner on this side. Is there any other belt winners on this side stiffmeister? That's it All right, see now dense says why don't you put people in pairs?  See dense. What is that? Why don't you put people in pairs, but let them play single player against like some like league play thing? That's what I mean That's one of the ideas that crosses my desk and I just bundle up and throwing the trash There's nothing that I can gain from my man dense's comment right there. You know saying that's all but But I read it You say and I read it. I thought about it.   He beats fancy if goes when why why can't fancy be why can't ghost be fancy? Why everybody's down on the gold stock. I think I'm I'm high on the gold stock, bro Brown bros are little bros. See poppin. There you go brown Madden Brown Madden Now this is the question is pop is brown Madden over black Madden now. That's the question We already know which Madden is the best but Second place is it brown Madden or black Madden just saying I mean Brown Madden has ghosts with a belt poppin with a belt. I'm just saying Fancy is Asian Madden So ghost has never beat fancy. Oh, I like ghosts. I bro I'm yeah, yo the TNCers, bro. They gotta show me a little run, right? I'm beyond they got to show me a run. I Saw them asking show me a run Henry showed me a run Ghost and showed me a belt and some more runs Y'all high on the TNC. I broke can I at least get shown a run?  He was top Madden and Madden's 18.  Yeah blockies definitely TNC.  I'm already in contracts He he signs a one-year contract with his crew and just goes to the next one I mean D croft definitely did his thing for sure. I feel like D croft is he's not that you know I don't know. He's he's he plays different than he's got different offense different defense. I feel like he's a little bit different D croft definitely bought out So we'll see fancy is Asian, dude We know how TNC did the one black member We know how it happened, bro Someone call Uzi bro Do Madden crew's profit share? Yes Yes Madden crew's profit share Yes Bro, do you know how much money?     I gotta pay. I gotta pay.  Come on, dude No, I will tell you when we did when skimbo did win When skimbo won, uh, the cash in north carolina He broke bread with me and but he gave me a buzz money when he won like that He probably won like 15k or something like that Out of like that 30k maybe 17k something like that.   Bro, it was 30 madden players And it had 30k cash Bro, that was a money laundering a money laundering tournament if I ever saw one, bro The money laundering that happened there. I don't know who where they got 30k Yeah, I don't know what happened that look at that that drug dealer must have got that drug dealer must have got locked up Handle another one of them bitches But henry goes fancy evil. Oh evil. Oh almost pulled the upset over henry last year Now evil. Oh was in the same position last year. Whereas he was a heavy underdog And almost honestly should have beat henry, but he lost to henry So I think we're all overlooking my man evil. Oh, we're overlooking him, you know It was in Raleigh Or Fayetteville was in Fayetteville Yeah, they were definitely laundering money, bro 30k cash. Yeah, that was a laundering deal And then we have collin versus chicharito Decraw versus niner I mean this top this top group right here. I mean, this is the bottom and this one is a lot of A lot of names.  You got stiffmeister returning from the grave Uh, you got j wall versus hated by many been around a long time Uh, so I feel like j wall is the super favorite of this bottom. Uh, what this bottom 16 people Right So I mean and then you got dany the moner. I'm the dany Tell them to you Gucci black madden. Nobody's shouting out gucci yet. What's up? How do you stop pa boot over mellow? First of all, you take 10 minutes and you think if you really want to be part of this Show or not, bro It will gucci get an interview. I don't know will gucci get an interview Good questions a lot of questions here going into the tournament this week Gucci is the only dude that has no interview Um, I'm not going to say it's a racial thing, but you know, that's where you guys are going with it We'll see we'll see if gucci can get an interview. He plays mr. Football This is a big game for for uh, you know the race wars of madden Mr. Football um versus not gucci Danny versus mono poison versus stiff What offense is stiff gonna be and I wish we could take channel point bets right now and we could put some bets Will he be in the ant cap stack y gun or whatever he did to absolutely filet canes Did you guys see him absolutely filet canes with that huddle gg game plan? Did you guys see it? We were here Absolutely fried canes with the huddle gg The stack Yeah, so this will be fun to watch. Um, like I said, I got ghost one and all I got who I got ghost fancy D croft. I think I picked kylan over chicharito. I don't know philly kylan Um j wall. I got poison. I got manu. I got uh Gucci, I think But I did have poison upsetting and poison actually making it all the way to the final four Losing the ghost. That's what I got. I don't know what you guys got That's why you filled out your brackets and put them below my tweet last week. Hopefully you did that I'm telling you he was lasering with that huddle gg my man re re do it all the real re is in the building my guy Picture that Cheat everybody's tnc, bro. Everybody's tnc Everybody's tnc There's like, you know, that's why I like 818. I respect the 818ers. They don't go outside adding people They they're not just going to add a free agent I feel like they're a tight-knit group of friends that you know play together and they don't really look to add new people Maybe not we'll see Right, we'll see maybe 818 add somebody new in off season. Maybe they go after somebody else, you know They added they added a kobo Are they adding people?  That boy was until he won So am I smart to just go pick him up after he wins? Is that how you build a comradery and build a foundation of trust and friendship and loyalty? Just by liking people that win. Is that how it works? Mmm Mmm, we do kind of need some white guys, bro We have we have leans heavy towards but I put a lot of stock in black madden and I'll be honest You know I And voles Voles like negatives are like all our good vibes and and all our good like we look cool Like we're the best crew that you guys would want to kick it with right like come on, bro Right, maybe because we're older. We've been around right, but if we had voles, bro We had losers are only that's our only caught up to the popularity We have been outside Right Niner come on, bro. I really don't know bro. I really don't know Then I feel like I still feel like we have the most money the most belts The most everything, you know, I still feel that way But we're kind of washed now We gotta get back to the promised land. Do we need new blood? You know because we're getting caught we are Clash of clans we go crazy on the clash of clans The next class We don't have the most hair. Is that cool to have hair? You think it's cool to have hair. Just be honest bike I went went is next up, bro When is see prop wint needs to know if you want to be a Shooter guy or a madden guy. We need we need white madden, bro. I'm gonna be honest. We gotta reach out We gotta reach out I don't know Need John Cena. Who do we reach out for bot wars today? No wint wint is my guy I told wint all he gotta do is keep grinding streams, bro. Y'all have to realize man. I'd be wanting streamers I want streamers.  They don't make nobody no money. They don't build anything For real. I needed ward was next up then he quit Bro, I told jrini today, bro. I told jrini. He got to get rid of the complexity, bro Once he broke jrini and we're gonna add jrini instantly But he's bullshitting ciabatta Mitch Jrini really squad for real for real You got fox the fox No, jrini's really squad We we might buy nfa because one we're gonna buy we're gonna we're gonna what's it called? When you in court when you like buy a company what is it called? It's not called buying We're gonna buy nfa Yeah, buy them out. We're gonna buy them. We're gonna buy them out, bro. We already bought them out, bro They're already squad bro Absorb, yeah, we're doing absorb them That's all the problem is i'm competing with complexity, bro.  All right Nick nick mercs do we reach out to nick mercs is nick mercs it Is nick mercs Do we put the tweet off for nick mercs? No, it's not a merger.  We're absorbing We're absorbing. It's an acquisition. Yeah, there it is It's not all right, dandy. It's not hostile. All right Yeah, all right. Yeah, we're we're we're we're gonna acquire nfa. All right, but that's already like squad, but y'all like I don't know Oh, so do we reach out to doc? Do we reach out to doc? Some versace on the ps4 Skimbo did bring up some versace in the uh in our in our meetings You know so so listen our radar The radar is up at all times, bro The radar is up and i'll be honest. I've been looking outside of madden I've been looking outside of madden.  That's what's attractive. It's somebody grind.  I feel like dudes that are going to grind are then aren't going to expect like This not going to help you You know, it's not going to help you become your peak You know, it's all about your motivation and your work ethic essentially Doesn't matter if you have nike support if you're on team nike Doesn't matter if you're not putting out effort and you're not grinding yourself Then you're not going to take things to the next level honestly listen Needed aiden I didn't see too much of this aiden guy. I hopped in there Shit was a little wild. I was on my phone. I wasn't at the desk I was running a lot of errands yesterday, but I hopped in the stream And uh, people told me he was popping. I didn't know who the kid was I didn't know what was going on honestly, but I was on my phone sometimes when you're on the phone We aren't honestly when you're on the phone twitches ass on the phone bro I'll be honest speaking of unbanned requests. I was watching skimbo play today and I dabbled in the skimbo unbanned requests Skimbo don't skimbo don't have no leash.   My man flower Yo andy No, we're andy at check it. Yo andy be going crazy with the bands in the skimming room.  I think he won but he was getting popped and you could tell he was hot And when skimbo was getting popped, he ain't look over at the chat the whole time Bro, he ain't look at the chat. Yo, he's getting nice. Yo, he's learning Bro, you can't look at the chat when you're getting popped He that ass was blinders to the screen for the whole three quarters until he started winning Bro, he don't look He's just stay like this That's what I look at the chat the most Oh, I definitely read chat, but what I blew that's where it is, bro Yeah No, skimbo did not look at all and the worst part was trey was over here like I'm gonna get him Let me troll him. Let me hop in there. He was like he was like, uh, if he gets stopped again I'm dropping I'm hopping in there trey start typing there to skimbo was like Trey was like, he doesn't see me. Let me try again Am I gonna play Jesus?  I go down all the time for content Big pause now. Oh damn.  I made the new one witness. I made the new one I might make it my emote.  It was a great emote Let me let me DM it to myself. So I got it. I deleted it.    I said this was it I said I said, bro, this would be the best emote on twitch I'm telling him just just ride with it lurking jerk All right All right, stop banning these people, bro Stop banning Just saying it's a good emote It's a good emote That's all I'm saying. All right, let's get to these unbans where we got was speaking of bands Let's get to these young bands.  Oh 12. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay Just got banned. All right, let's do it. Let's do it Boom Just got banned my man. Dix Dix for Dix for he just got banned that fast I don't know how you get banned that fast, but it happened I told you stop banning people bro. I swear to god Actually keep banning people free this guy Dix for Bro, this is like the hardest thing to bring up on on your display All right, there it is Free this guy right here free him Dix for He only put it one time. He only has one chat all time What? All right, yo You got chat more than that My man dark pina This my guy Pena is my guy, bro Tyler help people. What should I use on regs chiefs or bucks kills? Was this worth the ban? Was this worth the ban? Like this is a timeout.  Yeah, this is bro I but still bro.  It'd be funny He robbed me my man. Tyler 6 6 7 6 a lot of sixes and sevens Lou got game I won my 1v1 in the guli. Is that his is that his request? Is that all he has for request is lou? That's all he has Oh, I feel like this is ass, bro 12 bans Lou been through it Lou got a rap sheet. He got a rap sheet Lou is out though, man bane bridge Who been I banned this guy? Oh my god, he's there. Where's Khalil?   This is ward or somebody 1 million percent Look at his time. He checked in the chat right here.  No more games go to practice Free me He don't have enough energy bro. We're chase it. The last time I went sledding.  Oh, hold up.   Yo Thanks from usc boy That kid is golden Yo, this dude is the worst.   I don't like this guy.   You feel me What's it? You feel me?   You dukey.    You know he did a moment. He did a moment.  Hi poppy you looking sexy as always? Oh like No, I'm cool, bro.  All right. All right.  What?  Y'all really about to look bro This one don't have mods bro.  Y'all too y'all y'all y'all too piece this guy.  I don't know what happened, bro. Yeah. Kelz was going crazy, bro He might need a time out on the sword. I mean he'd be doing a lot of work But he went a little too crazy tonight, bro. I'll be honest. He went a little too crazy tonight mod tryouts Who can type the fastest? Mod tryouts you guys ready? Give me a paragraph about why you want to be a mod and what you can add to the stream and why you Would be a better mod than the next guy you got 30 seconds by the end of the podcast I want those paragraphs in the chat below. Okay, let's see who really wants it who needs it. Okay All I'm saying you got about 30 seconds till we end the podcast I'm just saying Vogue's really about to be like, hi, my name is vogue. I'm a streamer I know what it takes to run a stream because I have my own and I can go ahead I can see trolls from a distance. I know which ones need to be banned and which ones don't I think my opportunity is is more than verified and I think I can really hold down the stream very well When I'm not in my own stream, I'd be a good mod because I care about the needed community. Okay, the paragraphs are going. Okay. Okay Okay, okay Easy your vip bro Okay, who do I pick? Who do I listen to youtube? Who do I pick to be mod?  I'm ready to work. I am engaged in the action. I'm a worker and born leader Okay, Michael word. Okay, my man tropical I think I could definitely support the channel in many ways keeping it clean but dirty They need someone to hold down for the fort. I know when it's shown. I know when they cross the line Okay, okay Listen, listen All right. It's a lot of that's a lot of mods right here I've had sex unlike that sad obese neck beard I've had many encounters with the opposite sex models and actresses are like People who cannot attract women are inferior and less intelligent There's a reason some people will never reproduce survival of fitness. I do MMA I can lift 330 pounds while still being able to read books about quantum physics I have to go now. I've got a date with two lovely birds who cannot wait to go for a ride But before I leave mod me chow I'm in james with the nine months I mean romo is romo is a loyal viewer name is kind of trash I mean, y'all I can't lie Paragraphs might have been a dub Paragraphs might have been a dub.  I'll be honest banning tits was the low point The banning of the tits was a low point of the stream tonight guys We've taken a step backwards in quality content We have We have It's okay It's okay Earl be a mod, but then he gets popped like and he gets banned and then it goes away All right, I'm turning this podcast off, bro. Shit is getting really nasty right now. Oh, I didn't even turn this bro. What? That's why I don't do studio mode That's why we don't do studio mode Hi, my name is Owen vows on the net dough I've been a version for 17 years. I've endured all the insults possible I know when someone has crossed the line because I've seen it all mod me for quality monitoring of your lovely stream Is that the real vows? Was that the real vows paragraph or is vows still typing his paragraph? That was a pretty good. That was a pretty good paragraph for vows. I'd be really pretty good Vows on the net no Oh, shit Reem that's a strong that's a strong paragraph Peniel you already know bro easy You can't be modder than chat. You can't Can't happen, but boys. This was the needed podcast episode 115 Listen big games this week. I told you I'm high on the west being stock I'm high on the ghost stock. Let me know in the comments. Who are you? What stock are you high on?  It's been a long time


UPCON North America 2020 virtual. This is a maintainer track session with you, Andres Vega. I work at VMware as product line manager for TANASU Foundation Services. I also happen to be a contributor to the Spiffy Inspire projects. I worked alongside the maintainers, helping out in aspects of project, product and program management. I'll be talking to you today about the term we've recently started referring to the Spiffy Inspire as, which is the production identity control plane. And along with that, recommended practices for Spiffy Inspire at scale. To start out, I'd like to thank the group of people from the community that recently got together as part of the Spiffy Inspire Bookspot. These are leading practitioners and subject matter experts that over the course of two weeks, wrote a 200 page book on deploying and operating Spiffy Inspire at scale. Among the people, Emily Fox from Sick Security, Evan Gilman from VMware, the crew at HPE, Dan Feldman, AmeriCon, Max Lambert, Agustin Martinez, Ian Haken from Netflix, Fred Coutts from NSM, Brandon Lum from IBM, Eli Nesteroff from Bite Dance and Michael Wardrobe. In terms of the agenda, we're gonna start off with motivation for production identity. We do a quick recap of fundamentals and concepts of Spiffy Inspire, move into deployment primitives for Spiffy Inspire at scale. Once we've gone over that, we're gonna move into day one aspects of managing registration and identities, managing registration entries and managing identities. How do you enable your software applications to be Spiffy ready, be it natively or through a proxy and get into how do you actually roll out or stage out Spiffy Inspire in your organization, throughout your organization? To set the stage, the problem that Spiffy Inspire solve is that of secure introduction. If you look at the landscape of modern applications, these are composed by a larger number of smaller pieces of software. Managing secrets at scale requires effective access control. Implementing that access control requires a strong bedrock of identity. Proving identity has required possession of a secret. Now, the challenge is protecting one secret requires coming up with some other way to protect that secret, which then requires protecting that other secret and so on. Ian Hawken from Netflix likes to allude to infinite regression as an analogy to the problem or solving the bottom turtle. If you think of turning on access control to a resource, be it a database, be it a service, that will require a secret such as an API key or password. Now, that API key or password needs to be protected. So you can protect it with encryption, but then you still need to worry about the secret decryption key and how do you secure that? You could put that into a secret store, but then you still need some other form of credential like a password or API key to access that secret store. Ultimately, however you end up protecting access to that secret results in yet another secret. Secret stores are great, but they do present a challenge once you have to prove who you are to enter the secret store and then seal something from there. There are a number of other PKI and authentication pain points and modern applications. You need to ask yourself the question, how are certificates and passwords generated and who's responsible for that? How are those securely distributed to the applications that meet them? How is access to private keys and passwords restricted? How are the secret stores stored such that they don't leak into backups? How are these secrets stored such that they don't leak into backups? What happens when a certificate expires or a password must be changed? Is that rotation process disruptive? How many of these tasks necessarily involve a human operator today? So with Spiffy Inspire, we've proposed with the Spiffy specification a standard set of interfaces. By interfaces, I mean APIs and documents for proving, validating and obtaining a service or a workload identity. I will be using service and workload interchangeably. Now, Spire is the software implementation of this as specifications that creates a tool chain for establishing trust between software systems. There are a number of reasons why you want to use the Spiffy Inspire. Spiffy can be used as the basis for a product you're developing and requires transport layer security. Those transport layer security features and the user management unauthentication can be dropped in through Spiffy in one fell swoop. You can replace the need for managing and issuing API tokens or platform access bringing rotation in for free and eliminating the burden from storing and managing access to those tokens. You can deliver MTLS across untrusted environments without the need to exchange secrets. Security and administrative boundaries can be easily delineated and communication can occur across those boundaries when and where policy allows. To reduce the likelihood over breach through credential compromise, Spire provides a strongly attested identity for authentication across the entire infrastructure. And Spiffy Inspire address security needs by enabling pervasive MTLS to deliver communications between workloads no matter where they are they deployed, anywhere in a heterogeneous environment. So let's take a look closer at the Spiffy spec. Spiffy in a turtle shell since we're talking turtles all the way down and reaching to that bottom turtle. The Spiffy ID is the representation of a service name that's the identity software is going to be issued. That is going to be done through a S-fit, a Spiffy verifiable identity document that can either come in the flavor of a JSON web token or a X509 certificate. Then there's the Spiffy workload API which is the interface that services will obtain their identities without any prior secret being required. There's the trust bundle which is a collection of public keys given by an issuing authority for a service to cross authenticate to others. And then there's the Spiffy Federation which is a simple mechanism by which trust bundles can be shared. One additional construct that will be useful to know when we reason about Spire deployments is that of a trust domain. A trust domain corresponds to the top level root of trust of a system. This can be modeled after a individual developer working on a Kubernetes namespace carved out for themselves. It could be an entire team or larger organization. It can be an environment such as Dev, Stage or Prod. It can be an entire business unit running their own independent infrastructure. Now all workloads in the same trust domain will be issued identity documents that can be verified against the root keys of the trust domain. The workload identifiers portion of the ID identifies a particular workload within a particular trust domain. So that's for Spiffy. Let's look at some of the Spire components once this is actually running. We've got the Spire server and the Spire server is responsible for managing all the identities in the trust domain. Think of it as a global identity directory. The server also happens to be in possession of the Aspect signing keys and it is considered a critical security component. Special considerations should be paid when deciding where does the server go. The server uses a data store to keep track of its current registration entries as well as the status of Svits it's issued. There are a number of backing databases that are supported. You should refer to the official documentation for what those are. Now, all the Svits in a trust domain are signed by the Spire server and these are signed by default using a self-signed certificate unless there's an upstream certificate authority that exists and it's been configured through a plugin interface. In many cases, a self-signed randomly generated key is fine. However, for larger installations and production environments, it might be desirable to take advantage of pre-existing CAs and the hierarchical nature of X509s to make multiple Spire servers. Then we got the Spire agent. The Spire agent serves a very simple function but a very important one and that is to expose the workload API to workloads. There is no active management required to operationalize agents. They require a config file and that config file tells the agent what trust domain it's part of and what workloads can call directly to get identities. The entire architecture of the system for both server and agent is based off plugins. There is the upstream authority I mentioned. There's like node attester plugins, node resolvers, data store plugins, key managers, whether for disk or in memory. The agent has the workload attester plugin. So these are perfectly extensible. A deep dive from the plugins is outside of the scope of this presentation. I do encourage you to check the official documentation on spiffy.io to learn more about those. Now, node attestation is the process of establishing trust from the server to the machine and agent fronts. In a cloud environment, it is considered a best practice to verify that node against metadata available from the cloud provider. Spire does provide custom node attestors designed specifically for the cloud that you may run on. Most cloud providers have an API that can be used to identify the API caller. Node attestors and resolver plugins are available for AWS, Azure and Google Cloud. The attester plugin, the purpose it serves is to attest the node before issuing an identity to the spire agent running on that node. Once it has verified the integrity and authenticity of the machine, the spire server will have a resolver plugin installed which allows selectors to be created that match against the node metadata. The available metadata is cloud-specific. If an environment does not provide a hardware root of trust or ability to attest the node, it is possible to bootstrap using a join token. However, doing so provides a very limited set of assurances depending on the process through which that be done. As a second stage, we have workload attestation. Workload attestation is the process of determining the workload identity that will result in an identity document being issued and delivered. That occurs whenever a workload calls and establishes a connection to the spiffy workload API and from there on is driven by a set of plugins on the spire agent. Each attester plugin is responsible for introspecting the caller and generating a set of selectors for it. This happens out of bound. One plugin will introspect the kernel details and look at information such as user and group that the process is running as. While a separate plugin will communicate with Kubernetes and generate selectors such as namespace and service account that the process is running in and a third plugin may communicate with Docker to get Docker labels, Docker image ID and container environment variables. Now that we've done that recap, let's look at some of the security boundaries of a spire deployment. The first boundary is that of the workload to the agent. The agent does not trust the workload to give any kind of input. The attestation is performed through out of band checks as we covered in the previous slide. Any selector whose value could be manipulated by the workload as it itself inherently insecure. It is expected that a security mechanism beyond spire would exist to provide isolation between Linux user permissions and containerization. Then we have the boundary between agent and server and explicit design goal spire is that spire will survive node compromises. Agents have the ability to create and manage the identity on the workload behalf, but at the same time limit the power and agent to do so strictly to complete that task. And in order to mitigate the impact of an eventual compromise, spire requires knowledge of where a particular workload is authorized to run. A node cannot just get information for any workload unless it's been designated to run there. Agents must be able to prove ownership of a registration entry before they can obtain an identity to it. And as a result, they cannot get arbitrary identities for something else in the trust domain unless it's supposed to run there. It is important to note that communication between the spire server and the spire agent can use TLS and mutual TLS at different points in time during the attestation process. Once trust has been established, TLS takes over and all communications are secure. The last boundary is in environments that have been horizontally scaled and you have more than one server where you have two, three, four spire servers to manage load. Spire servers are trusted only to issue SVITs within the trust domain they directly manage. When spire servers federate with each other and exchange public key information, the keys they receive remain scoped to the trust domain they were received from. Unlike WebPKI, Spiffy does not simply throw all the public keys in a big mixed bag. Their result is that if a compromise in a foreign trust domain will not result in the ability to issue SVITs in the local trust domain. It should be noted that spire servers do not have multi-party protection. Every spire server in a trust domain has access to signing keys with which it can issue SVITs. The security boundaries that exists between servers are limited to servers in different trust domains and does not apply to servers within the same trust domain. Having covered that, let's start to look at some of the topologies and building blocks we can build large scale deployments. Eventually, we wanna get to something like the picture where there are objectives for compliance and regulation where you have multiple teams, where you have multiple platforms and you have varying requirements. So start off with the most basic deployment which is a single trust domain. You may wanna do this where there's no administrative boundaries, where you want to have one large big trust domain and it will reduce the total number of distinct deployments to manage. On the right hand side, you can take a look at how this would look in Kubernetes. You can have multiple Kubernetes clusters all managed by the same spire server. As mentioned previously, servers can be horizontally scaled be it for redundancy or for distributing load. All servers in a given trust domain will read and write to the same shared data store. Now as deployments grow in size and number of deployment grows and there are multiple administrative boundaries and perhaps multiple cloud provider environments, you wanna look at a nested spire deployment. A nested topology allows for communication between the agents and the server to occur within their own data center or their own region. In this particular configuration, the top tier spire servers hold root certificates and keys and the downstream servers, the ones you see for the two regions will request intermediate signing certificates. If the top tier happens to go down, intermediate servers continue to operate. So there's quite a bit of resiliency in here. Again, this is well suited for multi-cloud, multi-region deployments where replicating a data store across regions would be cumbersome. Due to the ability to mix and match noted testers for different platforms, the downstream server can very well reside and provide identities for workloads that have different selection and identification criteria when it comes to attestation. Another primitive is that of a federation. We talked about federation to spiffy spec a little bit, but federation allows you to establish trust between multiple spire deployments or from spire to any other spiffy compatible CA. When deployments have multiple root of trusts based off like different companies trying to establish a business relationship and don't wanna create a VPN connection from one to the other, you may leverage something like federation. Now, that is one of many use cases, but again, interoperability between a spire deployment and a service match that uses spiffy may be another motivation to do so. Now, from putting this into applications, there's two ways to go about it. The first is enabling software natively. It will require making modifications and it can be introduced through a common library or framework used across application services. The native integration is the best approach for data plane services that are sensitive to latency or services that want to utilize identity directly at an application layer. Spiffy does provide libraries for the goal programming language and the Java programming language to facilitate development of spiffy aware or spiffy enabled workloads. You can find the links to the respective language libraries here on the slide. Now, places where the native approach may not be feasible, be it because the cost is high or the service is running third party code that cannot be modified, a approach there as to front the application with a proxy that supports spiffy. That could be something like Envoy proxy or that could be a spiffy helper that will watch the API and reconfigure the workload as certificates change. Certainly Envoy through the secret discovery exchange it's a popular approach for adding spiffy, for enabling spiffy to the application without having to make any code changes to the application. Also popular when you have polyglot environments. Now let's look at managing registration entries. So the Spire server supports two different ways to add registration entries via the command line interface or the registration API. The API allows admin only access. Once we have a deployment in place, there are no registrations in there. So a bootstrap process is needed. That is often done by an operator or a deployment process. In practice, that doesn't really scale for scale deployments or high growth deployments. You want to remove manual processes from the picture. You also want to make sure that if dynamics are dynamically scheduled or elastically scaled, you can keep up with those changes. So you can see here in the picture why an automated process of a particular like opaque entries or a particular schema you came up for modeling of the identities gets handled by the workload orchestrator and automatically creates on the server the registration entries as workload since the shake. I like to credit Michael Wardrobe for the mental model of reasoning about rolling out a deployment between independent islands and rich islands. The independent island model allows for individual trust domains to operate independently of one another. This is often the assist option when you have multiple apps and you have to start by what can you target that you can turn spiffy on and evolve from there. However, these islands may not necessarily have knowledge of each other. There may not be any communication in between those. Another model that occurs is independent spiffy deployments get bridged by Federation and enabling services from each island to trust each other, but there's still no communication between spiffy and non-spiffy islands. As this continues to grow like the bridge islands model can also use like a gateway to talk from a non-spiffy service to spiffy service. D-Diaphone on this subject is outside of the scope of the presentation, but certainly something to check out and solving the bottom turtle book where we go at length and to how to reason about this different models and formulate a strategy around it. There are many other considerations for scale. Certainly haven't covered them all. Apologies for the typo on that comma first bullet point in the section. There is low testing and capacity planning to be performed. You may want to choose the security over availability trade-off when determining what's going to be the time to live with certificates. How are those if any revocated or renewed? It's important to keep in mind that short TTLs reduce the time window of a credential being exfiltrated, the utility time someone could use that, but do require a quicker response against an outage. You may want to reason about failure domains and blast radius and picking one to apologize over the other. You may want to consider using HSMs and looking at logging and monitoring. That said, great place to go for additional information is spiffy.io, check the docs. If you're ready to get started on the project, have any questions are eager to contribute. You're more than welcome to join the group on Slack. Check out the code on GitHub. It is a very active and vibrant community around the project and we're always looking for newcomers and new participation. Awesome. With that said, I wrap it up. I think I am right about time, few glitches during the presentation, but I think despite my rinky-tinky set up I managed to do all right. Hopefully you find the talk informational and you enjoyed the rest of the event. See you all online. Thank you.