Okay. So it wasn't my proudest moment this summer, so I'm out. But I know there was something I said this summer to you. You probably don't remember. Actually, you probably do remember. Do you remember everything that I say? I remember what you don't remember. Yeah. But I remember the words coming out of my mouth at some point this summer. I don't trust you, which was really rare for me because I do trust you. You're my everything. You're my person, you know. But we had so much chaos this summer. So many things happened.  Each of them had just major stuff going on that just fell on us and our car was totaled and we just had a million different things going on. And I remember saying, I don't trust you. And I've thought about that moment since then. And I'm like, why did I even say that? It doesn't make sense. If there's any one person I trust in this world, it's you. So today I wanted to talk with the couples about the concept of trust because we have so many people reach out to us. I don't trust my spouse. And it's a really hard thing. And I feel like it's a loaded topic. It's a loaded conversation because it's so important. And without trust, what do you have? It just feels like you have nothing. That's how I felt. And I thought we should share a little bit with our viewers about talking about trust. And a little bit more about it. I remember when I shared it, and then I finally had time to calm down later. I was thinking to myself, wait a minute. When I said that, I feel that it was coming out of my own childhood wounds because as a child, I didn't feel like I had anybody I could trust. I don't feel like people looked out for me and really took care of my basic needs. I had a very chaotic childhood and sometimes I didn't know where I was sleeping that night. So I realized saying that I don't trust you kind of wasn't fair for so many reasons. But one of them being that that came from my world. It came from my pain. So that really had nothing to do with you.  And that's fair to say that I don't trust you for that. So I don't know. Let's just unpack this a little bit for other couples that might feel like they can't trust their partner. Yeah. So trust, there are various degrees of trust and I would say, what would you say, infractions of trust that are, that are, it depends on what they are. When you think of trust, you think about infidelity, things like that, which we'll address. But let's start kind of with like the basic level of mistrust. So the one thing is kind of like, as you're mentioning before that a lot of it's projecting our own issues on our partner. So if we have a story like your story, like nobody, I can't rely on anyone. I have to do everything myself. And that's my kind of theme song in life. And then I'm going to either attract someone into my life, a partner, a spouse who is not why I can't rely on either, or I'm going to project that I can't rely on them. Or maybe I'm going to provoke them to not be reliable. But I'm going to recreate that reality. Now, it doesn't mean that it's okay. Because you had a childhood experience of not being able to trust someone and rely on someone doesn't mean it's okay for me not to be reliable. But at the same time, the severity of it and the disproportionate response, as you said, I don't remember what it was, but it wasn't like anything like major breach of trust. It was it could have been something like I didn't give the kids their, you know, vitamins when one of them had a cold or something like something like that. I mean, it was probably a little more than that. But you know, it was something like that. So obviously, yes, maybe I you didn't count on me to do what you wanted me to do at that moment. But did it merit the reaction? So that's what we call the 90 10 rule. It's anything that really bothers us is 10% about what the other did to trigger us and 90% our reaction. Right. So in this case, 10% of it was you didn't give the kids their vitamins, and I was worried about them getting sick or whatever. But 90% of it was my huge response, which was I don't trust you. And at that moment, I felt like I needed to run because that's that would have been my gut reaction. It's like, for example, if somebody was in combat in Afghanistan, and they and all of a sudden now they're back to civilian life, they're walking down majors, Metropolitan City in America, and they hear, I don't know, like the really big, what do they call those things around a jackhammer? Not a jackhammer. But anyway, some type of really loud noise that you could hear in Manhattan or a city like that. So their instinctual reaction is to feel like they're back in combat, even though the reality is they're not. So this is something that's really important to us. I've been thinking about this a lot more lately, because over the over time, and we've been doing this work for a while, and it's all about getting into feelings and what are you feeling in your childhood? And I would say it's about your reality. It's about both of you have different realities. But what is your reality based on your reality is based on whatever you kind of your thoughts and what you're thinking about things. It's not necessarily an objective reality. So when there's a loud noise, it's not objectively, it's not objective reality that you're in danger. It's that subjective reality based on your trauma based on your past experience. And that's how we're living our lives. And that's how we were getting triggered in relationship. And that's how we're overreacting and causing ourselves a lot of pain.  Is Rabbi Slotkin saying like I'm overreacting when my spouse is being completely unreliable? Right. So we're dealing with some real, we're, we haven't gotten to the more like severe breaches of trust and everyone's entitled to their feelings and everyone's feelings are valid and everyone's feelings make sense, especially based on the reality. But, and it's never for us to challenge someone else and say what your feelings are just like, that's just your thoughts, your feelings, your problem. No, you have to take responsibility for what you're doing in the relationship to trigger your partner and to be sensitive to that. But for those of us that are listening who want to think about what can I do to work on myself? I know I want my spouse to do X, Y and Z or to be more sensitive. But what can I do to lessen the damage and to be more responsible and take ownership from my feelings and emotions? I need to start thinking about this. Wait a minute, is this really, you know, is this really real? You know, when, when someone doesn't give the vitamins. Right, that's kind of what I was thinking. Is it really like that I can't trust you and I think that you're just like not going to take care of me? Is that, is that really what I'm thinking? Or is this, I have this story that to become conscious and then when you become conscious, you can make a conscious choice of how to respond in that situation. And sometimes it will take time. Like it definitely took me a couple weeks after the fact when it was a quiet moment, nobody was home and I kind of thought to myself, why did I say that? Why did I feel that? And I remembered through the work we've done with Amago Therapy about the childhood story and I knew that's where it had come from. And I, and I, and we never really talked about this until right now. And of course it was hurtful to hear and I felt it was unfair.  I know that, you know, one of us tends to, you know, we'll talk about the turtle on the health storm that you have more stronger emotional reactions than I do. And you might say things that you might even forget about that I remember. But I realized that, okay, obviously you're having a bad day. There's something bother, you know, it's something triggered you. I don't need to get all wrapped up in it and fuel the cycle there. So we were able to get through it better than we would have 23 years ago when we first got married without having these tools. Yeah, for sure.  I mean, it actually was our first our first session was about when back to the story because I didn't fix the closet rod and I'm not much of a repairman, but I didn't fix the closet rod in our daughter's bedroom in her, in her closet. And that was our first in my therapy session. And it went back to, I can't rely on anyone and now I can't rely on you either. Yeah. And if you're curious about that argument, we have in our course, we have 14 of our fights. And that was definitely one of the best ones in there. But we work through it in the video so couples can watch that you can watch and see how we work through it. But I guess what you're saying, Slamo, is so I guess step number one in talking about trust, understanding if you can, when you're calm later, where is this coming from? What is my childhood pain around this? Right. And how am I projecting it onto? What is, what is the role that I play in this, in this? Right. So that I don't have to react as strongly. It doesn't mean you have to give up the pain that you have or that you should just let your spouse do whatever they want to do and not be responsible. It's not giving your spouse an offender, so to speak, an excuse. But it's helping you calm down so that you don't react. And when you react, you're going to provoke a reaction from your spouse. So the more that you can do to be aware of it, it's going to stop the escalation that's so common in relationships. So, you know, there's certain things that, there's a lot of things that could be happening. For example, let's say, let me give this example, if your spouse has their own business and they're having a slow month, so you could feel like, I don't trust you to support me and take care of me. And you can say such a comment, well, that's really hurtful to someone who works really hard. At the same time, it makes sense that you might be anxious because, you know, there's not much money coming in this month. So, you know, how do you balance that out? And it could be that you feel like maybe your spouse needs to work a little bit harder, they're being lazy or they're not motivated. You can have those feelings, you can talk about that in a safe way, not in blaming the other person, but a safe, productive conversation you can have about those things. But at the same time, when you start making grandiose statements that kind of tear away at the fabric of the relationship, that's not always fair for the right. It's important to have some center responsibility in how you deliver your comments because nobody should ever have to bear the brunt of, you know, verbal abuse. So that's, that was kind of like the lower on the totem pole, breaches of trust issues. And we have other videos on how to heal after a very large breach of trust, like an affair or financial infidelity. If we would go to the other end of the spectrum, slomo, you know, a quick word on larger breaches of trust and the process for uncovering more about that. Those are harder because when you get into a relationship and you commit to someone, what essentially by committing your life to someone, you know, whether you have val, whatever you say in your wedding vows or this idea of being married to someone is usually represents some type of exclusivity that I'm in relationship with you. And when you're, when there's infidelity, which means like not being faithful, you're not being faithful to that partnership, to that commitment that you made.  And then when there's a breach of trust, when somebody has infidelity, when there is, even if they're lying, they're not being truthful in other areas or financial infidelity. But all the more so when you're dealing with another person, the emotional infidelity or a real full blown physical affair. It's very devastating to a relationship. In fact, you know, they say that around, I don't always believe in statistics, but because you can manipulate them however you want. But they say, you know, 70% of couples that had had whether there's infidelity, don't make it. But that's if they don't get help. We find them with the model therapy that if couples get help that they can be able to heal. It doesn't mean that it's easy, but they can be able to heal. So it's hard because you're already going in assuming that there is a commitment, and then that's broken. So you can never fully get back to that place from before the breach of trust. Because there's always, no matter what work you do, there's always that little voice that could potentially rear its ugly head and say, well, I wonder why he or she's not home right now.  Or there's that fear. And that's a valid fear. So what we said before about childhood, this also can come up. Besides, before we get to dealing with the, you know, here and now, people have childhood issues. A lot of times we see that people who have trust issues or people who came, grew up in a home where they saw one of their parents cheat, oftentimes they wind up marrying somebody who cheats on them. It doesn't mean that it's a, you know, a curse that's going to happen. But we do, we do notice that it's not uncommon. And therefore it makes it even worse. No one likes to be cheated on. But when people have that pain from childhood and living in a home like that, it makes, it really pushes their buttons even more so. So there's even a just more stronger reaction to. Right. Because I feel like probably I would imagine I finally got out of my childhood home. I finally attracted somebody who I love and, and I got out of that situation and then you enter marriage and it almost like it repeats itself. It repeats itself. And it's so devastating when that happens. And, and that's what we believe in Amago is you attract somebody who's going to repeat a lot of the things that you saw. Yeah, they'll push your buttons. And even if it's not, even sometimes they don't, they might not have an affair, but there could be other breaches of trust. But if you're already coming in with trust issues from childhood, you see it in the relationship, it makes it much harder. So you have that, that aspect. But even if you don't have that childhood aspect, it's still a devastating thing because it's the person that you devoted your life to that you committed to. And now you see that they have, it's not even what they did that is as bad as the deceit. Because now, well, if I can't trust you about that, can I trust you about anything? Now, if you're not home right now, can I assume that you're, you know, doing what you say you're doing or maybe you're up to no good. So there is that questioning. So there is a very specific process we do with couples to help sort out what happened, which means even opening up and sharing and answering any questions about the affair. Because again, it's, it's a lack of trust that that's the problem. Because people who have emotional infidelity, people who have physical infidelity, it's, I would say, it can be just as devastating, even if you never met the person. There's some online affair. It's just as devastating for the spouse who was cheated on because there is that breach of trust. So repairing that requires admitting what you did, answering any questions, transparency, right? Because if the idea is lack of trust, the only way to create trust is to have a relationship where there is trust. And even though you can't change what happened in the past, you can show transparency. And the more you can show, you know, what sometimes it means people here, take my phone, you can get my pet, I have all my passwords, I have nothing to hide. Of course, the more that the person who, who reached the trust goes out of their way to show that they want to repair, then that definitely expedites the process. But you can't force that. You can force that. But like, for example, if someone's like, but you know the person feels bad about what they did, and you know that they want to change and make it better. So it gives a person who has cheated on a little bit more faith in their partner and commitment. But if you see the person's like, Madam, they're not really showing much interest. They don't even want to complain. I mean, I would say they don't even want to apologize. Or like, I already apologized, what I have to keep doing it, you know, it's enough already, like get over it. Or, you know, maybe they're going to the bathroom with their phone, they're still doing behaviors that don't necessarily promote trust. Well, it's a little bit hard to really believe that they're want to be in the relationship. And how do I know that they're not still talking to this other person? Unfortunately, I've seen that happen, too, that people come even to a two day intensive to deal with the affair. And we find out later that they didn't stop speaking to the other person. And the other person's still feeding them the messages that they have to say together. So it doesn't really promote trust. It doesn't promote healing when one person is not really fully invested in showing that they want to change. So the more person can engage in the process of change, of admitting what they did wrong, of asking for forgiveness, and doing new behaviors to rebuild the relationship, the better it is, the more the process will be expedited, the more the couple can move on and build an even better relationship. And unfortunate as a breach of trust is sometimes it's the silver lining is that it actually can force the couple to really deal with their issues and to deal with the disconnect that kind of created that fertile ground where this where the where the infidelity happened so that they can actually make a better relationship moving forward. Yeah, we see that all the time. We've kind of become known as our intensives have become really known for couples that experienced affairs. Some of them we were just featured in an article and it was about how much will couples pay to save the relationship after an affair. And we have a workshop coming up in Costa Rica, a five day, four night couples retreat. And we we have seen many couples improve their relationship even better than it was before the affair, right, because so much is laid up on the table. And it's almost like they're reevaluating their priorities and their values and their vows and almost getting like a do over in a way. Yeah. Which you didn't ask for, you know, because it was certainly painful to begin with. But they're saying that the relationship also wasn't it's rough, but the relationship wasn't so great in the first place. Because nobody wakes up one morning saying, you know, I think it's a good day to go cheat. You know, it's usually there's some and it's it's not no, this is not to be meant to take that this is the spouse's fault, meaning the spouse who is cheated on his fault. It's whatever the situation is, whatever the baggage both people bring. But for whatever reason, the needs weren't being met in their relationship. And not just physical needs talking about emotional needs. There's a disconnect. They're not communicating effectively, whatever it was, there is the relationship was not in the optimal state. And then someone paid attention to the one spouse. And, you know, one thing led to the other. Yeah, so don't lose hope. If you your relationship did suffer from an affair, know that on the one hand, it's really hard to fix on your own. Like, it can be catastrophic if it's not dealt with, with a professional to help walk you through the immense process and the full transparency and everything Shlomo described. But on the other hand, know that your relationship can be much stronger and much more solid with after the aftermath. So if you're curious about that, we can definitely share resources with you. If not in person, we also have some worksheets for people to actually go through what happened and how to repair. So we can share that link in the description of the video. And if you have questions about trust and just anything related to this topic, definitely get in touch with us. There's still more to talk about trust and how to deal with feeling like you can't trust your spouse, right? What else would you say Shlomo for people who didn't have an affair in their relationship happened, thankfully, but maybe they just don't feel like they can fully rely on their spouse. Yeah, I think that it's a lot of people have issues with trust and it becomes difficult. I mean, I would say in society in general, like with all the upheaval in the last number of years, people have people have trouble trusting authority, trusting that, you know, that the authorities have their best interest in mind. There's a lot of, there are a lot of different permutations of this and how it erupts. And I think that, you know, as we get older also, I think that as we start hearing more about, actually, I would say not just because we're older, but also because of the information that we're being fed on a constant basis, we're learning more a lot about things that we wouldn't have known about in the past. So it's not just we're older, but how do you mean? I mean, it's just, I know like, whatever it scandals or, you know, things that have come up, we know about what's going on all over the world every moment, every second in the news, but even just like in our communities and the news about things, people that we thought were we respected and then turns out that they, you know, did some type of impropriety, so many different things. And it just, it makes it very difficult and it makes it difficult to really, to really trust. So on the one hand it, the, I would say the downside is it can lead us to feel really jaded and really like distrusting of everyone. And that doesn't really make for a nice life. Yeah.  And so, you know, you would hope at least you can trust your spouse.  So that is, yeah. I thought of after this whole summer, I think by the end of the summer and all the upheaval we had, I kind of feel like it's served to just strip away what was not important for me. And it just almost caught me to the core. And I realized, okay, what is important? Like the bare minimum. And I also realized that I needed to let go a bit. Like, I needed to let go a bit of my expectations for, let's say, the family. One of our kids decided he was done with school. I was like, I'm done with school. Well, wait a minute, you're how old? Like, you're not just done with school. Like, we don't do that, you know, but it was like that was not like 10 or 12. That was one of the examples that we had to quickly adjust our expectations of this child.  But at the end of the summer, I kind of like just had a moment and thought about all the kids and I thought, okay, I had to reevaluate a lot of expectations and priorities. But at the end of the day, you know, everybody was safe, everybody was healthy, everybody was alive and in our home. And everyone's in the place where they need to be and are successful. Right. But we have to write, it's like, it's our idea, our thoughts about exactly the way things are supposed to be that gets us into trouble.  So having these expectations and I think this this replies in all relationships, especially in a marriage, you don't know what tomorrow brings. Nobody knows. And I think we learned a lot about, I mean, the world has changed so much, even the last few years, who would have ever thought we would have this, you know, global lockdown for I don't know how long it even went for. It's just, and I were kind of forgetting about it because it's, you know, it's over, we hope. But who would have ever thought of that?  I remember when we were just newly married. So we don't know. And it's a really about trust.  And the more that you can do that, the happier you're going to be because you can just live in the moment. And I think this applies, especially in relationships, you know, when people get married and they sit, you know, under the, when they're at their wedding, they're not thinking that their spouse is going to cheat on them, or their spouse is going to betray them in another way, or they're not going to be able to rely on them. No one's thinking about that. So, and hopefully it never happens. But just to realize we have no control. And the more we can give up that control, it doesn't mean that I'm just going to let you walk over all over me and do whatever you want. And now you both have to show up and be the best partner, the best spouse you can be for each other, to be reliable, to be faithful, to follow through, to be loving, to be safe, all those things we encourage you both, both people to do, and to do the best that you can. But in terms of being in control of the outcome, being in control of every incident that happens, you can't. And the more that you try to do that, the more miserable you're going to be. And if something bothers you, you need to learn the tools to be able to communicate that and work through it together. Yeah, and we would say it's not about letting go and then realizing, like, forget my partner, I want to be on my own, just going to lose him. In our approach, we would say that's a sign that you need to learn how to create emotional safety between the two of you in your space, right? It's not just about I don't trust you and I deserve better. So I'm going to go, it's, this is an opportunity that something could be worked on here. Something could feel safer emotionally for you. So you don't feel like I need to run or hide because the relationship doesn't feel trustworthy or safe. Right. So learning to ask for, learning to ask for your needs, not just say, well, okay, well, I'm just going to give up and whatever happens happens. No, learning or I'm going to leave learning to ask for your needs. And at the same time, not worrying about every little, you know, every little thing that we can, every can nitpick on about our spouse that creates this negativity in this environment of toxicity and the relationship. No, we need to give each other a break sometimes. Yeah. And now that we're talking about it, you know, this was the first time I ever brought it up after I said it. So I think when we go home and we don't have you all watching, we should, or maybe we should have you all watching. We should have a dialogue to, so I can properly apologize for making that seem and that I don't trust you. And we can work through what went on that really unnerved me and we can come even closer with going through that, if we feel like we need to and, and coming even closer after the, after that upset. So I'd be happy to do that. Yeah. I look forward to doing that, perhaps with you. And if there's anything you guys need, we're absolutely always available. This is another episode of Can This Marriage Be Saved. We have many opportunities to reach us through our website, TheMarriageRestorationProject.com. And like I said, if you've had an affair in your marriage or a breach of trust, please reach out. It's so much better to do it with professional help than by yourself because it's just too big. And you can come see us in Baltimore in November or in Costa Rica in October for a group couples therapy retreat. And then also always on demand for two days working with Rabbi Shlomo or any of our amazing Amago therapists that work on our team using our methodology. So it was a pleasure. Thank you for watching. Thank you. Stay tuned for the next episode. Take care.


Amen. First Corinthians chapter number 11. So we're going to be there for the entire sermon. This is going to be kind of a Bible study tonight. So I guess every sermon is kind of a Bible study because we're in the Bible. But we're going to kind of go detailed through the part of this chapter where Paul is talking about the Lord's Supper or coming together for the Lord's Supper because we're going to be doing this here in preparation for Easter. We celebrate the Lord's Supper every Wednesday before the Easter Sunday. I'm coming up. I'm going to explain to you why we do that. But I'm going to first go through the detail in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and kind of show what the Lord's Supper is, what it's not, and why we do what we do here for the Lord's Supper. So first of all, you know, what is, you know, I was raised, you know, Lutheran which is basically Catholic, and Lutheranism and many Protestant religions teach very close to what the Catholics teach in this sense is that the Lord's Supper or Holy Communion, they call it, is a sacrament. All right? And you say, what is a sacrament? A sacrament is kind of a, I guess you could say it's not a Bible word. It's a word that is basically, you know, sort of made up from the Latin word. And a sacrament, basically, if you look up the Catholic definition of a sacrament, I always have to write this down because it's so confusing, you know, but it says this. It says, sacraments are efficacious signs of grace instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church through which divine life is given. So a sacrament is basically something in the Catholic Church, there's seven sacraments. In the Lutheran Church, there was two sacraments, baptism and the Lord's, and Holy Communion were sacraments in the Catholic Church. I don't even know if I can name all seven. It's like, it's like the Eucharist or Holy Communion confirmation, I think is one. You got marriage is one. You got the anointing, I'm counting anointing of the sick. I don't know what the other ones are. Baptism is one. And then there's like Holy Orders, I think is one. Did I hit seven? I think I got close enough, okay, since they're all fake anyway. So sacraments are basically the way for the false Catholic Church, and then the Protestants kept it going out of the Catholic Church. The Protestants are very Catholic. You know, when it comes down to it, that was one of the shocking points of my life when I realized, oh man, I'm Catholic. When I finally realized what the Bible said, and because I was raised in the Lutheran Church of Missouri Synod, which was a very conservative Lutheran Church. It was like the small Lutheran Church. It was not liberal. And many of the pastors that I had in the Lutheran Church of Missouri Synod were very anti-Catholic. We are not Catholic. We're not fellowship with Catholics. And then imagine my surprise when I finally see the truth, see the gospel. I'm like, oh man, I'm Catholic this whole time I've been Catholic. So sacraments are this way of tying our works to salvation, all right? And this is why so many Baptists before, you know, in the 300s going into the Dark Ages, why so many Baptists were killed by the Catholic Church, just because they would not accept that baptism is part of salvation, because that's what was being taught, is that baptism is actually part of salvation. And Christians would not accept that rightfully. So, but that's what a sacrament is. It's tying our works to salvation. And we know that salvation is not of works, no matter how tricky you get with it. It's actually worse for the Protestants, because Protestants will teach that the sacraments, baptism and the Lord's Supper, is actually, they'll say, oh yeah, you're saved by grace through faith. That's what Protestants will tell you. This is why sometimes it's many times easier to get a Catholic saved than a Protestant saved, because you'll tell a Protestant, it's just, it's faith alone. They're like, yeah, I know. It's only through grace. Yeah, I know, not of works. But the sacrament is a means of grace. So the way you get God's grace is by doing these works. I mean, you're just like, but that's what they believe. All right? So look, it's, there is no sacrament. It's a made up thing to just, you know, come up with a works-based salvation. But I mean, it makes no sense, because basically in order to, I mean, what if you stop doing the sacrament? It doesn't make any sense. How long do I have to, how long do I, how many times a week do I have to do sacraments? How many times a month? How many times a year? What, I mean, every hour? What do I have to do here? There's nothing like that in the Bible. It's basically based on two lies. The first lie is that salvation is earned over time.  When we know that's not true from, you know, everything in the Bible, especially John 3.36, why, I think that's why I probably like John 3.36 so much, because, you know, it says, you know, that word half.  He that believeth on the Son, half, just like that.  Salvation is not earned over time. Once you trust on Jesus, you get it in a moment. So it's based on that lie, that you're earning this salvation over time, and then it's just, you know, it's a tie to works-based salvation, basically is what it is. Alright, so look, it is not a sacrament. As a matter of fact, in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, verse number two, the Bible explains what it is. Look at verse number two of 1 Corinthians chapter 11. So what is it? What is it? The Bible says in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 in verse number two, it says, Now I praise you, brethren, that ye, talking to the church, remember me in all things and keep the ordinances as I deliver them to you. So he's saying keep the ordinances. What are the ordinances? An ordinance is just an order. It's just something that you're commanded to do. That's all an ordinance is. Now, a Bible-believing Christian, a Bible, a fundamentalist who believes the words of the Bible, believes that there's two ordinances of the church, and those ordinances are baptism and the Lord's Supper. Things that we are commanded to do. Alright, go down to verse number 23 and let's get into the Lord's Supper and what it is all about and how it needs to be done and how we need to look at it. Alright, look at verse number 23. 1 Corinthians chapter 11, this is also in the Gospels, Mark 14, I believe, and Matthew 26, the verse of the week, explain Jesus' words here. These are words that Jesus said at the Last Supper when he commanded the disciples to do this, where he gave this ordinance, but Paul repeats it with much more explanation of why we do it, how to do it, and how not to do it in 1 Corinthians chapter 11, which is why we're looking at 1 Corinthians chapter 11 tonight. And you don't think that, oh, that's Paul. Look, Paul was taught by Jesus Christ himself. Paul knows exactly what Jesus Christ wants us to do and doesn't want us to do. Alright, look at verse number 23 and let's get into this this evening. For I have received of the Lord, that which was also delivered unto you, that the Lord Jesus, the same night in which he was betrayed, took bread. When he had given thanks, he break it and said, take, eat, this is my body which is broken for you. This do in remembrance of me. So I mean, this is not complicated. This is not complicated and it is so crazy when I look at my life from the perspective of what I was taught about the Lord's Supper and the Eucharist and all this stuff that, see the difference between the Lutherans, the Protestants, and the Catholics is the Catholics believe that it is actually Jesus' body and blood that they are eating when they eat the bread and drink the wine. And they drink actual alcoholic wine, which is another sermon in itself. Alright, but, and I've preached on that, I'm not even going to get into that point. The Lutherans believe that it's present in the bread and the wine, that the body and blood of Christ is present like spiritually or something. I don't even know what that means. Okay? Why do we do it though? Why do we do it? I mean, look, it is not Jesus' actual body and actual blood, first of all. And I'm not even going to get into that. I've preached on that extensively. If you believe that, it's foolish and I don't even know where to begin. You know, Jesus, I mean, explained this so many times to the, it was the Pharisees that couldn't understand this type of thinking. You know, I am the bread of life. What is this loaf of bread? What? I mean, that's not what we're talking about tonight. But why do we do it? Why is Jesus saying to, for the disciples, to do this? Or at least, look, he's just saying at the time of the Last Supper right now. Okay? So we don't even know if he's telling us to continue doing it. Alright? But look, he says, do this right now. Why? To remember me is what he's saying. Look at verse number 25. After the same manner, he also, he took the cup and after he had stopped saying, this cup is the New Testament in my blood. This do ye as often as you drink it in remembrance of me. So here he's saying, as often as you drink it. So this is implying that, you know, they should do this, you know, more often than just this one time. Why? Again, he says it again, to remember Jesus, to remember his sacrifice. Look at verse number 26 to kind of wrap it all together right now. He says, for as often as you eat this bread and drink this cup, ye do show the Lord's death till he come. What does that mean? Till he come. That means till he comes back. So it means that the church is supposed to do this until they're a raptured off of this earth. That's what this means. So he's saying, you do show ye, the church, talking to the Corinthian church here or talking to believers, you do show the Lord's death. What does that mean to show the Lord's death? To remember. Again, he's saying, do this to remember me until I come back. This is why we say this is an ordinance of the church. It is an order of the church to do this. He's like, just keep doing this until he comes back. So you say, why don't we do this every Sunday? We'll get to that. Okay. But we see that we're supposed to do this. We are supposed to do this. Why? To remember Jesus, to remember his broken body and to remember his blood that was shed for the remission of sins, to remember those things, to bring those back. I mean, doesn't that make perfect sense? Because what do we do as Christians? What do we do as human beings? We take things for granted. We forget things. We get involved in our lives and we take everything for granted, our eternal life for granted, our eternal security for granted. We get involved in all the blessings that God has given us and we do what? We forget things. So Jesus is saying, I'm implementing this so you don't forget what I did. Alright. Now turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 5. Just flip back a few chapters in 1 Corinthians chapter number 5. Let me explain to you why we do it once a year. Okay. Why we don't do it every week or why we don't do it once every other week or whatever. I used to actually gauge how conservative I thought whatever Lutheran church I was in on how often they did communion. So I was really against a church that only did communion like once a month. I'm like, that's a liberal church right there. But I'm going to show you why we just do it once a year. Look down at 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and look at verse number 7. There's a very specific reason why we do it once a year. The Bible says this. It says purge out therefore the old leaven that ye may be a new lump as ye are unleavened for even Christ our Passover is sacrificed for us. Notice what the Bible says there. It says Christ our Passover meaning Christ it doesn't say Christ during the Passover or Christ you know at the Passover it says Christ our Passover. The Passover was in the Old Testament the Passover was the actual lamb. Alright. It pictured Christ but the Bible here is saying that Christ is our Passover. Turn to Hebrews chapter number 8. Hebrews chapter number 8 and look at verse number 8. Jesus Christ is the actual replacement of the Passover lamb. It is what the Passover lamb was picturing. Alright look at Hebrews chapter 8 and verse number 8. The Bible says finding fault with them he sayeth behold the days come sayeth the Lord when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt because they continued not in my covenant and I regarded them not sayeth the Lord for this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days sayeth the Lord I will put my laws in their mind and write them in their hearts and I will be to them a God and they shall be to me a people this is Romans 2 15 right here and they shall not teach they shall not teach every man is neighbor and every man is brother saying know the Lord for all shall know me from the least to the greatest for I will be merciful to their unrighteousness and their sins and their iniquities while I remember no more in that day he sayeth a new covenant he hath made the first old this is why we call it the new testament and the old testament right here and now that which decayeth and waxes old is ready to vanish away so all that to say this every ritual and sacrifice in the old testament was a picture of Christ all of these things that were done in the old testament that was the old covenant but it all pictured Christ go to Numbers chapter 9 and look at verse number 14 this is also why so we see Christ is the Passover Christ is the Passover the Passover lamb that somebody in the old testament would have called the Passover when they said kill the Passover they meant kill the the unblemished lamb that was just picturing the real Passover which was Jesus Christ okay now this is also interesting look at numbers actually go to Numbers chapter 9 and look at verse number 14 because it's very interesting to see when a stranger would come into the land somebody that wasn't in Israelite this is just goes to show you that it was never about genealogies by the way because somebody could come in even in the old testament somebody could come into the nation of Israel and they could accept the one true God they could essentially get saved which is what I'm going to show you actually happened to that person and as soon as that happened they got saved they accepted the one true God they were treated exactly like the people that were born in the nation of Israel who had parents from the nation of Israel you know it's never been about genealogies the only time the genealogies were actually important was when God was just dividing up the land saying all right these people get this spot over here and these people get this spot over here that's that's the only reason it was really important because even strangers could come into the land Ruth was a mobitus they could come into the land and it was all about what they believed it was all about the where they put their faith but look at numbers chapter 9 of verse number 14 I'll prove it to you and if a stranger sojourn among you mean meaning a stranger comes into the nation and hangs out among you and look at look at what the criteria is here and what and we'll keep the Passover unto the Lord according to the what what is it the sacrament of the past it's an ordinance and keep the ordinance of the Passover and according to the manner thereof so shall he do he shall have one ordinance both for the stranger and for him that was born in the land so what did he have to do what are this stranger that came from Egypt or wherever have to do in order to be treated with all the same laws there was no he was under you know tribute or anything like that as soon as he did what he kept the Passover what does that mean that is implying that he knew about the coming Messiah that the Lord was going to send and they were saved in the Old Testament by looking forward to the promise of the coming Messiah just as we are saved by trusting and looking backwards at the Messiah that has already come the that's why numbers 914 that's why the strangers like oh they just it's not about just like oh he did it he's celebrated and he ate the meal and whatever no he believed he believed he believed in the coming Messiah it's talking about he was saved they were saved and there to be treated exactly as everyone else the Passover equals the Messiah the Passover is to the Old Testament the Passover is to the Old Testament as the Lord's Supper is to us is what this boils down to the Old Testament again Old Testament is just a picture of the coming Messiah versus a remembrance of the one that has already come for us it isn't that isn't I mean isn't that just amazing how well that fits together how well that that they they were just doing this they were doing this meal the picture Jesus coming and what are we going to do we're going to do this meal to remember that Jesus came it's it's poetic it's so perfect and that's why we do it once a year that's why we don't do it every week because it's replacing the Passover very simple now go back to 1st Corinthians chapter number 11 1st Corinthians chapter number 11 it's not that complicated if you just read the Bible it fits together perfectly it makes perfect sense so obviously who's to do it believers are to do it people that are just as numbers chapter 9 verse 14 you know it's people that believe in the Messiah people that have trusted on Jesus is to do the Lord's Supper to remember Jesus wouldn't make much sense to want to celebrate something to remember Jesus if you didn't believe in Jesus in the first place but how is it administered and received what's going on here in the Corinthian church because Paul has some pretty strong words for what's happening here look at 1st Corinthians chapter number 11 and verse number 16 the the Corinthian church is whatever they're doing they're not doing it right and Paul is rebuking them harshly what's going on here in the Corinthian church is the Lord's Supper is not for eating and drinking all right look at verse number 16 look at verse number 16 there was problems here with the Lord's Supper in a verse number 16 the Bible says but if any man seemed to be contentious we have no such custom neither the churches of God now in this that I declare unto you I praise you not that you come together not for the better but for the worse so here we see that Paul is saying he says two things that are pretty pretty amazing here he says number one there's there's contentious people in the church what does that mean it means a person given to disagreeing a person given to arguing you know somebody who's just like this is a this is what pastors will call a troublemaker somebody that just is constantly just going against other people constantly just going against what the pastor wants to do just contentious all right just causing trouble and then look what he says in verse number 17 though he says there's contentious things going on here there's contentious people but he says it would be better that you come together he says you come together not for the better but for the worse you know what he's saying it would be better that you not come together than to come together like this isn't that a profound thing to say he's saying it would literally be better if you I mean look you know what he's saying if a content if a person is contentious it would be better to I mean just overall if a person was contentious and just wanted to cause trouble just wanted to argue with people want to cause all kinds of problems it'd be better that they didn't go to church isn't that a profound thing I mean I stand up here and scream at you all the time like you need to be in church you need to be coming to church the bible commands it but if you're contentious and you want to cause problems it'd be better that you didn't come to church I'm gonna explain to you why that is but that's what he's saying look at verse 18 for first of all when you come together in the church I hear that there be divisions among you and I partly believe it for they're almost there there must also be heresies among you that they which are approved may be made manifest among you so we got all kinds of problems going on here but then he gets more specific on what that's actually happening he says when ye again ye he's talking to the whole church here he's talking to a plural group of people talking to the Corinthian church when you come together therefore into one place this is not to eat the Lord's supper so he's saying you're not eating the Lord's supper it's like you're coming together as a church you say you're coming together to eat the Lord's supper but that's not what's happening here is what Paul is saying for an eating why now he's gonna explain it for means here's why here's why you're not doing you know you're not doing the Lord's supper he says for an eating everyone take it before other his own supper and one is hungry and another is drunken so everyone is going and they are just using the Lord's supper to just some people are just going and they're just gorging on food and drink and then some people just get nothing and Paul is saying this is not the Lord's supper this is not what is supposed to happen look at verse number 22 he says what have you not houses to eat and drink in or he despise you the church of God and shame them that have not what shall I say unto you shall I praise you in this I praise you not so specifically this was like this potluck where he had a bunch of people bringing like this great food and then other people couldn't bring much or anything and like the people that didn't bring anything got nothing and the people that brought the great food just ate way too much and didn't allow anybody else to eat their stuff I mean right now some of you are thinking like I'm glad it doesn't work this way in this church no I'm just kidding but just think about that for a second there is always going to be in Paul he's he's kind of he's an evangelical leader of this group he's rebuking these people but it's interesting because first of all they're using the Lord's supper to gorge themselves on food and he's saying that's what eating at your house is for it's not to actually get sustenance and to eat and drink it's it's not it's not a potluck period aside from the divisions part of it but then some went without and there's the there's the divisiveness about it and look it was you know you have to understand that I can relate to what Paul is saying here because like he's seeing something that only the leader of the church sees he's seeing something in every single church every single and this was actually much of what Paul preached on when he wrote the epistles to the churches he was constantly preaching on getting the church together getting the divisions out of the church getting all these people that especially the Gentiles I mean you kidding me the Gentiles are coming to church now they're nothing like the Jews even Peter had a problem with this even Peter had a problem sitting down and eating the things that the Gentiles wanted to eat and God had to teach him a lesson about that but Paul is constantly just preaching against this constantly trying to get these cultures broken down yet everybody just accept this one culture of the Bible and look I mean it's something that a pastor has to think about maybe you don't see it but it's one of the reasons that a lot of things are done the way they're done around here is because the pastor sees everybody so the pastor just can't have like two people in the church get to do something and then other people don't because it will cause divisions and contentions and things it'll cause problems so it's Paul looking out for everyone in the church because he has that perch he sees that view he doesn't want these divisions to be happening and I'm sure that caused many contentions but what Paul back to verse 17 he's basically saying that it would be better that you did nothing it would be better that you did nothing you didn't even attempt to have the Lord's Supper than doing what you're doing now like this is a mess this is a train wreck this thing that you're doing look down to verse number 23 verse number 23 so again what what are they doing some are going without some are getting too much and they're treating it like a meal they're treating it like a meal and then some are getting some and some are not okay look at verse 23 for I received the Lord that which I also delivered unto you that the Lord Jesus in the same night in which he was betrayed took bread I'm going to read this again we need given thanks he break it and said take eat this is my body which is broken for you this do in remembrance of me after the same manner also he took the cup and when he had stopped saying this cup is the New Testament in my blood this do ye as oft as you drink it in remembrance of me for as oft as you eat this bread and drink this cup you do show the Lord show the Lord's death until he come where for now look at this he says whosoever and this is why it would be better off if they did nothing then do it doing it the way they were doing it and this is why I preach a sermon like this tonight before we go into Wednesday it says where for whosoever shall eat this bread and drink this cup of the Lord unworthily shall be guilty of the body and blood of the Lord that sounds pretty serious right there but let a man examine himself and so let him eat of that bread and drink of that cup for he that eateth and drinketh unworthily eateth and drinketh damn nation to himself not discerning the Lord's body like damn nation what in the world you lose my salvation over what's good I'm not coming to church Wednesday night it's talking about I'm going to prove to you that damn nation here is talking about just punishment it's talking about punishment in a couple verses down he explains very clearly that our punishment as saved believers is much different than the punishment that the world will receive okay and he's very clear about that let's keep reading look at verse number 30 he kind of starts explaining it right now now look at this he says for this cause what was this cause that they were doing this wrong that they had all these contentions that there was all these divisions that they were doing the Lord's supper wrong they were just using it as a big party to just you know a bunch of people you know having just gorging on food and drink other people getting nothing says for this cause many are weak and sickly among you and look at this and many sleep you know what he's saying like people have died he's saying that people have literally been chastised to the point look did you know that that God's chastisement can take your physical life not trying to wreck your day but and look you're not going to accidentally stumble into something that's good where God's going to take your life okay but like people that are coming into a look people let me just tell you something judgment on people that come into a church to cause division and contention is serious I'm shocked how serious it is I can read this in the Bible just as you can read this in the Bible let me tell you something it's true and I'll just leave it there and I do not rejoice in the I do not rejoice in the downfall of of my enemies as the Bible says but God's judgment is God's judgment and I do not tell God what to do in cases like that but Paul is giving a pretty strict warning here he's saying look the reason you guys have so many contentions you're doing all these things wrong is the reason that you're having all this these health problems and people are dying in the church that's a pretty harsh letter what he's saying is contention in the church and causing contention in the church is a major sin is what Paul is explaining here look at 1st Corinthians chapter 11 verse 31 now he's going to tell him like how to fix it like how to like not have this happen anymore look what he says verse 31 he says for if we would judge ourselves we should not be judged he's like hey police yourself like stop doing this police yourself catch yourself then God doesn't have to step in and do these things I mean look that's general rule of thumb for a Christian right there police yourself or God is going to do it for you look at verse 32 now he explains you know what verse if you just kind of draw a line between verse 32 and verse 29 he explains here he says but when we are judged we are chastened of the Lord and look that can be bad as he just explained in verse number what was that verse number 30 we are chastened of the Lord that we should not be what condemned with the world so he's saying like when we're chastised we're going to be chastened of the Lord but we're not going to be condemned with the world he's saying you're not going to lose your salvation he's like but God's chastisement is real I mean if you die and go to if God takes you to heaven if God looks down at you as a Christian and he gets to the point where he's just like uh yeah I'm just going to take this guy to heaven right now that's not good I mean you're still going to go to heaven but that's not a place where I want to be with God ever but he is still very clear to say that condemned with the world that condemned with the world means hell means you know true spiritual damnation this is the difference in verse number 32 that's the difference between the saved and the unsaved right there all right we won't go to hell but we'll be chastened of the Lord in this life sick dying I mean severe something that we should take very seriously look at verse number 33 so what's the answer what's the answer look at verse number 33 the Bible says where for my brethren when ye come together so he's like hey you know you should do this so we're going to come together on Wednesday night what does he say he says tarry for one tarry one for another what does that mean that means like look we do this even not with the Lord supper so we do this we tarry for one for another in a very specific way in this church and I don't know if other churches do it this way many of the churches I grew up in and and I know Verity Baptist Church did it this way but we tarry what does that mean we wait we wait so what do we do here we the the men wait the men tarry for the women and the children to eat first just in a potluck not at the Lord supper we don't you know bust into line and just try to get the food first like I'm the pastor give me the hamburger first you know I could do that you know but we tarry one for another and by the way just like just for the record like it's really annoying like if people don't tarry for one another that irritates me because you should follow the program of the church and tarry one for another and I believe just like as a servant leader I believe it's Christian that the women and the children should always eat first and when the last of the women and children have eaten that's when the first of the men can start to eat but we tarry one for another so same thing at the Lord supper we're not just going to be like you know we're going to wait when we do the Lord supper that the ushers are going to pass out the bread and we're all going to wait we're not going to be like but we're going to wait and we're all going to eat together right and then same thing when we pass out the wine the non-alcoholic wine we're going to wait for one another and then we will all partake together all right so look what does this mean for us look at verse number 34 it says if any man may hunger let him eat at home so again don't like go on a you know 50 hour fast or whatever and then come to church on on Wednesday night and expect us to just like feed you and don't come up after the service and be like where's the rest of the bread I'm hungry I'm joking but I mean it's not for eating it's not for getting filled up and getting it's not for eating and drinking if any man hunger let him eat at home that he come not together under condemnation and the rest will I set in order when I come what does this mean what does this mean for us how can we be sure that we partake of the Lord supper properly as Christians what it means for us is that the Lord supper is for us personally to remember the broken body and the shed blood of Jesus Christ not to eat and drink to fill ourselves up and the second thing is as Paul says we need to examine ourselves you need to come to the Lord supper with a clean conscience particularly towards your brothers and sisters in the church so there shouldn't be you shouldn't come to the Lord supper with contentions between your brothers and sisters if you have contentions if you have any you know problems with anybody in the church you I mean here's from this morning let it go that's the first thing to do but you can also confess things you can also get things right you can also you know just before Wednesday though or you know don't do it is what Paul is saying you're in danger of chastisement of varying degrees as the Bible is saying here this is not difficult to understand here it's an ordinance it's an order it's a command Paul just doesn't want he's just talking about the divisions that were going on in the Corinthians church it is something that we should do it is something that is good to do it is a good picture and to remember our Passover as we look back on Christ he's just saying don't do it in these ways and we would never do it in these ways I mean this you think about this situation in this church it's completely out of control as you see this and you know you had the haves and the have nots which should never be you know the thing about a church is this you're always going to have people that have more money than other people in the church but none of those things should affect how the church does things and who has things in the church and who doesn't have things in the church it's not like I've literally had people tell me that I give a lot of money to this church I've had people say that to me I mean that's a real thing and people think I mean so but that's kind of a proof that some people are kind of obsessed over that type of thing that you know they're going to get more say or they're going to get a favorable opinion from the pastor because you know I go through all the the the tithing statements by this guy or make sure I talk to him longer than this guy or whatever I mean but people it's it's ridiculous and you're laughing but people think this way people think this way that's what was happening here and we don't ever want stuff like that going on here you should never if you think that way like shame on you nobody thinks that way but I mean it happens is all I'm saying these crazy things happen contentions in the church people that literally just come into the church and and just like they get to the point maybe they didn't come in like that but they get to the point where they're just like that's all they're about is contention and trouble you're just like what it happens it's real and it's serious God takes it very seriously thank God we don't have any of those problems now but I just want you to see how serious these things are and I want you to see why we do the Lord's Supper so we can all do it correctly so look confess your sins to the Lord get things right you got something you know you offended somebody and you're feeling bad go tell them I mean tell them get things right somebody said something to you to offended you you can't let it go go talk to him about it or you know it's easier just to let it go because like that's you can you can unanimously do that just yourself right just don't be offended and have no divisions and everything's going to be great let's bow our heads and have a word of prayer


We're so glad you're joining us on Hope Today because we are all talking about God stories and we're super excited what story you're gonna hear today. I'm here with Matt and Anna and Matt. We are so excited to learn more about you and your journey. Yeah, you know, usually I'm not good about just talking about myself. But what's so cool is just really when you're forced to reflect on the things and where you've been and who God has ordained in your life and the opportunities or even challenges that he's really helped to navigate through it really blows you away to realize like, wow, only God could have got me to this point. So I'm really excited to just kind of share about different opportunities and people that are along my journey that helped to get me to where I am today. Yeah, it's such a cool privilege to be able to share our stories because it is our God story. Yeah. So the way that we have been able to operate in this lifetime is really all praise and we're lifted in Jesus' higher. Right.  We're like all celebrating right before we went on air the TGIA. So we hope that you're having a good day wherever you are. And remember that next week too is the entire week is the rest of the host God stories. So I'll be sharing on Tuesday but all of our other team will be all throughout the week. So thank you for being a part and just listening to how God has worked through our lives. Yeah. It's like such an honor and privilege when we're able to share our stories because we feel like some of you we don't see you every day but you are so part of our lives and so it's a blessing that we're able to open up, we're able to share. And we hope that as we're speaking about some of the hurdles that we've walked through some of the things we've had to navigate how we've had to hold on to God really encourages you.  Like does he sit up in heaven and he's just like right now he's having so much fun of like how creative he is and so just being able to listen to the different host stories like I know Amy shared yesterday and her Tom and I was able to share last week. It's just, it's amazing like God is, he's very creative with these stories. Yeah, absolutely. And you know, we're in the middle of our 21 days of prayer too. So you'll want to make sure that you stay with us all the way to the end of the program because we're going to be praying for more of the fruit that we're going to be sharing of the fruit of the spirit in our lives. Like we should be very fruity people and we are in Christ and it's always makes for a fun conversation to talk about like patience and self-control and things like that. Patience being a big one that we all need, right? Especially nowadays. I'm just thinking my two oldest are in school and now that they're learning all kinds of different things, you know, picking up all types of new slaying and lingoes and whatnot. I'm just like, I need a lot of patience, God, to be able to deal with these questions that are coming my way for my kids. So it's definitely crazy. God is with you. So Matt, without further ado, tell us about your journey and what God has carried and walked you through. Yeah, absolutely. So I'll start with some of the basics first. Just to show people where I am today in case for those of you that know me or don't know me or only know so much about me. First off, I'm married, been married for 12 years now and they'll show a picture of three amazing kids. Levi is my oldest, who is going to be eight. Estelle is going to be seven. And Micah, I don't want to say he's the troublemaker. Let's just say he's a lot, very alive and active is our youngest. So they're in second and first grade and preschool. They're amazing. I'm so blessed to have a wonderful family and I'm in the ministry full time. I do marketing, graphic design and I'm a worship pastor. But to get me to this point has been quite the journey and really reflecting on my life and what God has done.  Kind of like you were saying it's like he's writing this script, but he's so intentional with the details and with the people he put places in our lives, the different challenges that he helps to navigate us through. And so I really want to share on just some strategic people that have been through my life that have really seen something in me that I never saw myself and if I would have walked away from or ignored them I probably wouldn't have made choices that led me to where I am today, right? So, okay. 37 long years ago was born in Virginia and I'll share a picture here of my parents. There they are. My mom's from Korea. My dad's from right here in Pittsburgh. There's my older brother Alan and my younger sister wasn't born quite yet. So, all right. 37 long years ago born in Virginia. My mom always had us go to church, but like many of us just because we're in the church doesn't necessarily mean we're walking with God, you know? So, we moved from Virginia around when I was about eight years old or nine years old and we come to Pittsburgh. Now, when we come to Pittsburgh it was a major culture shock for me and the reason why is a couple of things. First off, I went from a wealthy neighborhood, a private school, uniform and all to the city schools and not so good area in Pittsburgh. So, complete, like just shock from dynamics there. And fourth grade all within the first month of my first year this girl comes walking up to me in the hallway, hands me a note. This letter, I'm like, wow, this cute girl give me a letter first day or like first week of school. I'm like, this is going good. I open the letter and says, hi, I'm your cousin, Cassandra. And I'm like, I'm your cousin. And she's like, I'm related to your other brother. I'm like, hold up. I don't have any other brother. We talk about my brother. Alan, I grew up with at my younger sister, Ashley. Come to find out. I've got another brother from my dad's side. So, all within like the first year of moving a culture shock after a culture shock and shock, you know? So, sounds crazy but it was just one of those moments to where I think my parents had to wait for the right timing to kind of explain that. They didn't know it was going to happen now, right? So, all of the first year, that kind of happens. We go to a Korean assembly at God Church, completely different cultured period. The Korean culture is very different. So, with that, it was just a smaller church, a very traditional type of church. And because it was smaller, the pastor knows everybody by name. So, in this church, it was really kind of thinking back on a defining moment when God really started to reveal a couple things for me. I didn't know it at the time, but thinking back on it was. So, because it was a smaller church, and he knew everybody, he would do this thing during his messages. Sometimes he would call anybody out by random out in the congregation to stand up and read the scripture for his message. Like, would make me sweat. I'd be sitting on the edge of my seat and just be like, please do not call on me. Until one day he did, read the scripture. At the end of the service, I go walking out and we had a guest pastor there that day. She pulls me aside, just out of the blue and she goes, hey, I was listening to you quote that scripture.  Doesn't know me. I'm like, gosh, I'm like 10 years old. I kind of look at her and I'm like, yeah, okay lady, whatever you're saying. I've got dreams to be like a super star here. What do you mean I'm going to be a pastor? I ain't no way.  That was like one moment, like the first moment somebody had ever really spoken something into me. You know, in regards to being ministry related or not. A couple years later, the drummer of the worship team pulls me aside after service and says, hey, you're going to start to learn drums. For no reason. I don't play an instrument, never showed interest in it. And I'm like out of all the kids here, why in the world is she picking me to play drums? And so she starts teaching me. A few months goes by, I'm on the worship team at the church. I point those out because it's amazing how there was two people already in that church that saw something in me that I never noticed about myself. And if it weren't for that, well, then the next few years, I'm like, okay, well, I feel like playing guitar. So I learned how to play guitar. Then I'm like, I feel like singing. So then I learned how to sing. And so if it weren't for that drummer kind of seeing maybe that gift or that calling or whatever she might have saw in me, I never would have had a desire to pursue after some of these talents that God has instilled in me to use to this day. So a couple more years goes by. We end up leaving that church and going to another church. And when we started sending this new church, I'm in 11th grade.  Like, you got to leave all your friends. Now you're making new friends as a teenager. It's just an awkward season. And so I finally, throughout my junior year, make some new friends at this new church. My senior year comes around and then there's this thing called Fine Arts. And so I don't know if you guys have ever heard of Fine Arts or anything like that. But if you haven't, it's a big kind of talent competition within the assembly's got throughout the whole United States. And so since it's my senior year, I've never heard about it. Just caught one of them. Like, okay, cool. I'll give it a shot. Sounds fun. I'm going to give them for 10 different categories. Like, large and small ensemble, acting, songwriting, worship, and rap group was one of them for sure. So I joined these. We go through the first set of competitions and then not think anything of it. It ends up going to states. And I'm like, okay, cool. We get the states, go through that competition. It goes, moves on to the nationals. And I'm like, oh my gosh.  But all 10 of the categories I signed up for are going to nationals, which are held down in Austin, Texas that summer. So we get down to nationals. And again, I have no, there's just no, really no goal with like doing this competition besides just signing up for it. We get down there and only one of them makes it to like the top three. Guess which one it was? Rap group. It was rap group. Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. Okay. So which was cool. You know, you get your rewards and certificates. I'm like, well, that was a really cool experience. Well, senior year is wrapping up and probably like many people watching at home. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.  And I'm like, okay, golly, I'm literally, I remember sitting there asking like, what am I supposed to do? Like my senior year is going to end here. And I have no plans on what I'm supposed to do. No idea, no desire, no nothing yet. And then long behold, it's again, this is amazing how God uses something for our good. Little did I know because all my categories in fine arts made it to nationals, they earned me like thousands of dollars in grants towards a Christian college. I had no idea. It just randomly came up and I get this letter and I'm like, oh my gosh. Well, God, this, you just helped me with something and used it for an opportunity to now go into a Christian college. So I go to college, go to school, after college, I leave, still not knowing what to do. I'm like, what am I going to do here? So the only thing I do is I go back to some of my roots that I had a desire to do was like, I really want to be in a band. So me and my friends start this band, which I'll show you a picture here. Oh yeah, it's not called NSYNC, but I pulled this up because our band got to be one of the opening acts for NSYNC when they came in town.  So I'm in this band for about four years and I'm thinking like, wow, this is going to be like, God instilled all these talents in me to one day be in this band that's going to tour until one day that comes down to a crashing halt and then just like nothing afterwards. So just like anything when something kind of ends you're left wondering, okay, like God, like literally what is next here? Like what am I supposed to do? And what's so cool is as I'm looking for this job, I'm searching, I'm asking God, I'm like, okay, God, I need a career, but I got a very little experience in anything. I'm working out the gym one day. A guy out of nowhere comes walking up to me. I've met him maybe like two times, barely had any conversation with him. And he goes, hey, by chance, are you looking for a job? And I'm like, God? Like what? Like looking at this guy, like are you serious? He's like, you know, I'm in need of a marketing director for my company and you just seem like you'd be a fit. I've got no marketing experience. No, you know what I mean? Like nothing, like, I don't know, it qualifies me to be in this position at all. So I'm kind of looking at it. I'm like, sure, yeah, why not? I get this job and it was amazing because I learned so many different things within the next eight years of working for this business. I mean, literally this guy yet another person that I meet that God ordains sees something in me that I didn't see myself. You know what I mean? And gives me this position that I feel like I'm not qualified for ends up making me over this department for the next eight years in his company. And I'm just like blown away the fact that this happens. So, okay, so eight years goes by with that business and the grace has kind of lifted off of me at that point. I'm like, okay, I feel like something, you know, there's got to be something more outside of this because I feel like there's got to be something more outside of this. So, after that job ends right before that actually is when my wife and I started to attend a church. And it was like perfect timing because there's like a transition happening to where they needed like a worship lead. So, I'm starting to fill in and help out with worship, but yet there was still like nothing unfolding from it. You know, whether it be a career path or anything like that worship. And then all of a sudden I start getting this desire to want to start so my wife and I start praying for three different things strategically about one, it being like a coffee shop to me running the business and three, looking like something certain for salary. So, I pull up the church one day for a staff meeting and my pastor looks at me and says, hey, I want to meet with you right after staff real quick. So, I'm like, okay, they have no idea what that's supposed to be about. Right after staff meeting, I go to the building, put this idea on my heart for you.  And just so you guys know, I never once told him these three things I was praying for, ever had a conversation with him about this coffee shop, me running the business and it looking like X amount salary.  And he's like, and I feel like I'm in the business. He's like, it's going to be a coffee and donut shop and it will be X amount salary. I mean, I literally sat there and my jaw dropped. He goes, take a couple of days and pray on it. He's like, can you let me know? And I'm like, pastor, you don't understand. I've never once talked to you about these three things that I'm praying for. And yet, you just answered all three of them. So, I have to say yes in this moment. So, I'm going to open up a door to lead to opening up this business. You know, running this business. So that a couple years goes by from there. And again, this all sounds random because I'm a worship pastor now and it's just like, I'm banking and electrical at school and this and that and the other doesn't seem like it makes any sense to where it is today. So obviously I'm always wondering why did I have all these different jobs and opportunities and if it weren't for them, it wouldn't have developed me to getting to where I am today. To be the worship pastor I'm running this coffee shop for about two and a half years. My pastor, he goes, listen, he's like, the church is growing. He's like, we really need a full-time worship pastor. And never once asking them about it, he just goes, would you want to do it or do you still want to keep running the donut coffee shop? I'm just like, pastor, whatever you need to do, obviously inside, I want to be the worship pastor. And then, long behold, a door of opportunity opens up for me to be a worship pastor full-time. And it's amazing how God strategically ordains relationships, opportunities, and situations in our lives that we could either ignore and run from or we can run to them. And I'm like, sitting here, like, what if I would have said no to a lot of these different opportunities? Like, what could have happened? What would have unfolded if I would have said no or ran from a lady speaking into my life saying, one day you're going to be a pastor or this drummer that pulls me inside and I literally would have ignored them. I feel like I would have missed a lot of what God had in store for me, especially up until today. So it blows my mind and I hope that encourages some people just knowing that God will do certain things in your life. And not every opportunity obviously is God opportunity, but when you're open to the fact of realizing that, wow, this might not be my dream job yet. This might not be my desired opportunity. It could just be a stepping stone to set you up for God to get you where you need to be. And thinking back on it, God did that so many times in my life and it amazes me still to this day. That was phenomenal. Thank you so much for sharing that. When you were talking the whole time, it's just like, God, I just think he is El Roy. He is the God that sees me and he used people to say, I see my son Matt and you're going to speak life to get you to the next place. That is truly incredible. God opened the door. Yeah, every one of them. And it seriously sounds crazy, right? And this doesn't have to be for anybody that's just in the ministry full-time, right? Well, ministry can be a lot of different things whether you're a teacher, lawyer, whatever it might be in the banking. The point being is that God will literally open up avenues for you to get you there. It's up to us to realize, okay, I need to say yes to this because if I don't, I may never get to where God is calling me to be. I think that's what highlighted like how you just kept saying yes. Yeah. And did you ever like battle fear and like, oh my gosh, I can't believe I said yes or was it all pretty easy and natural? Okay, so this is what's wild. When it's God, it seems like it's easy. It doesn't mean you don't go through your rough patches, but when it's God, he literally, it's honestly, it's like he's just laid these in my lap. It sounds so crazy to think about and that's why early when I was saying this, it could only be like how is a guy gonna walk up to me in the gym out of nowhere and say, are you looking for a job by chance and not just any job like a job that you don't have any expertise in and now you're gonna be over this part of my company, only God. It's so cool. God is awesome and Matt, thank you so much for sharing your story today. It's powerful and we are gonna take a quick break, but remember, we're in the 21 days of prayer. We've got a scripture out the fur to the spirit. We're gonna pray for more of the fur to the spirit in our lives. So make sure you come back after this. Every now and then, life gets the best of us and we need a reminder to keep calm and trust God. Simple but striking, the keep calm and trust God box of blessings provides messages of reassurance to help carry you through tough and challenging times. These small cards fit into the palm of your hand and will turn your focus to the one full of everything. Inside, you'll find 51 colorful double-sided cards featuring a combination of inspirational scripture verses and faith-based quotes. Add it to a get well basket or use it to encourage a teacher, family member or friend or save it for the times you need encouragement. Be sure to ask for the keep calm and trust God box of blessings when you give today. It's our way of saying thanks as you encourage others by providing life changing Christian television through TV. Call us at<PHONE_NUMBER> or give at ctvn.org slash donate. Welcome back to Hope Today. We are in the middle of our 21 days of prayer and remember that as you are going through these 21 days if you have an experience with God if he is speaking into your heart as you pray as you seek him as you sit in his presence we want to hear how God is moving in your life as you come and sit and be with him. He is such a faithful God to be working in the details of our lives and so today we are talking about the fruit of the spirit and as believers we have the Holy Spirit working in us to develop this beautiful fruit that is the characteristics of God himself and that the more that they grow and develop in us then they just like as if we have these limbs it just goes off and we can shake this beautiful fruit onto the people around us and the scripture comes from Galatians 5 22 and 23 it says but the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace forbearance or patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness and self control against such things there is no law and you guys each fruit you know I think about love and joy and peace and how our nation our world is so void of these things and yet how much in need our world is of those things and how God wants to use us to be able to share that and to have it overflow you know and as you were just talking about you know our world you know what's not said in here it's like a fruit of the spirit money success influence you name it whatever the world is saying these are the things like these accolades that we have this is what matters is like the things that in our spirit of what we exude and what we show and I just have this fruit you can't I mean it's not about it's you can go and church all you want but it's really about having a relationship with God where you're just in his presence when you're seeking his face when you're reading his word when you have to walk out these things and so just want to encourage you today I think a lot of times in our world we think it's like if I have in all these likes or if I have this that shows the forefront of our mind of really it is plugging into him connecting to the source and allowing him to move in us that's what the Bible says not by power or by might but by the spirit says Lord I was just praying with this couple a couple months ago and she had like forgive what it was she had issued where she had to it was like a brain sorry like a clot like a blood clot and she had immediately going for brain surgery it's scary and it's kind of tragic and so her boyfriend calls me up I go and I pray for them and as I'm just kind of sitting down talking with him the entire time she looks at me at one point she goes you're just so happy and I just think you know even in the midst of like a situation that's chaotic and scary and I just said to her I just said well you know that's just because that's just the spirit of God you know and because I lean on God and out of it is the fruit of the spirit you know joy peace happiness gentleness self-control which is a big one I think we all need you know but the point being is when you're full of God when you're full of the spirit of God when talking about prayer when you have an everyday and a life of prayer and you're continually conversing with God well what's naturally going to happen is you take on a situation you walk into or encounter you're filled with peace despite your circumstance you're filled with joy regardless of how large or difficult the trial might be you're full of self-control no matter how much your flesh comes in and desires that money or that thing you know so it's important to understand if we want to be able to navigate through this life through all the ups and downs good, bad and in between man we've really got to reach but it's by the spirit of God you know which in return has fruit that is everlasting in our lives it absolutely is you know that's such good timing for talking about the through the spirit like I know some of you at home are just dealing with some really hard stuff where your peace is being threatened or somebody is righteous anger within you and yet we need that fruit of the spirit of self-control to know how to respond in those situations because it is not glorifying to God when we lose our temper and we act out and it is through and only through the power of the Holy Spirit that we can have that self-control and that when we lay our things down we so want to carry them we so want to have full control and that gives us so much anxiety but if we remember to just lay it at the heart of God at the feet of God that he will take it and in place of all that he will give us his peace he will give us that joy because he is steady even when the world is shaking around us so today pray for the Holy Spirit to infuse you with that fruit just as you were speaking I just heard God saying I'm pruning your tree you know the way that fruit grows I was like you can put all the water and the sun on it but the way that you know you grow the plants is like you gotta sometimes cut off of you I know it's hard I know sometimes you just wanna give up and you're like I am so tired of this but do not grow weary and doing good because in due season you shall reap and it is harvest time and so we are so glad that you joined us on this show of hope today we pray that this inspired you that it encouraged you to draw near to the heart of the Father because he is drawing near to you we love you so much


Today we're gonna talk about two robbers craft hard seltzer. Hey there, njrew22.com. I'm out of focus. I'm having camera trouble these days. I don't have time to fix it. I hope I am clear. We're talking about two robbers craft hard seltzer. It's from a company called the Rittenhouse Seltzer Company. And it's all they do is make a seltzer. I didn't look them up. I didn't do any kind of Googling on these people. I just picked these up because there were some interesting benefits on their box. They said zero sugar and zero sweetener. I mean, it doesn't have any of the artificial sweetener, even if it's the good sweetener, like erythritol, xylitol, or monk fruit. And it's 5.2% alcohol and it had two grams of carbs per 12 ounces. The one thing going forward, it had nice regular size cans, sort of like the natural seltzer we talked about a couple of weeks ago, and not these skinny girly hand cans.  They're too small and they tip over. But anyway, I had hope for these. They had a lot of interesting hand drawings on their box and it had a pretty decent amount of alcohol, 5.2% and a funny skulls on their package. But I picked up this pineapple ginger and I tasted it straight. I did not like it. It was almost disgusting to me. And even watered down, I water it down with lemon juice and powdered organic ginger. And it really wasn't all that good, in my opinion. I probably won't buy these again other than to try a different flavor if I can find it. There are a lot better seltzers on the market than this. Maybe if you're somebody who likes drinking them straight, like I don't, you might find some merit in these seltzers. But I don't recommend these, or this flavor at least. They're new to the market, so we'll see how long they last. But taste usually plays a role in whether they survive or not. But we're not going to buy these this flavor again. We'll try maybe one more flavor later on. And that's about it. Please subscribe, hit the bell, check our page, three new videos a week. Have a good day.