Hello everybody I'm evil rabbit. We're here on a set of course a driver car that I haven't driven yet and surprised I have not yet the new RTR of James Dean the right-hand drive RTR Definitely a very interesting car with those aero wheels and everything in the back But being right-hand drive is definitely fun I'm have my shifter on the right of me not the left me, but that's just what I'm used to So we're gonna go be taking this for a full rip in the mountains and see how much fun We can have makes you a supplement all social media all it's found in the description box below I'll leave the link for the car in the description box below as well. Let's get to it So I've had my fair share of right-hand drive cars before So we should be able to drive this car But this car is Insanely powerful as you guys know the RTRs are insanely crazy-powered and this car is nothing short of that Of course, you know why bring it to competition track? Why not just the full send in the mountains because that's more fun. I feel As we die Mmm, we didn't die we didn't die fully that would have been Not fun if we totally died already try not die as much as this episode So I think we need to take this car first like bikes peak See if we can drift bikes peak with this car because this car is insane Think I want to see maybe see this RTR first bikes peak Let me know down in the comments. We're digging dirt there Let me know down below if you possibly want to see that Wrong turn So the detail on this model is quite quite insane It does have you know Adam LZ and Chelsea Nova's and Monts and Marie But it is the right-hand drive version which only is true You know James Dean's car. I think we're getting Definitely ripping this car As much as possible On these tight twisties I think you need to take this car out on to FD circuits as well It's price is taking me this long to find this car and drive this car I wish going to fourth Every time I think we should go into fourth We hit these turrets, but if we just clutch kick it like that it should be okay It's a little dirt drop. We got it doing a lot of dirt dropping which you know is parts of the course In the last FD round going off the course, you know into the dirt But definitely don't want to be doing that too much. It's R12. It's definitely a Throwing down so much feedback. I've been absolutely loving the R12. Oh, man. There we go Like it's an illegal link for this car down in the scooch box Give this car shot yourself or you don't have this car yet How many twists are in this road? Right the tail of the dragon or deal's gap, you know 318 turns 11 miles. Not a big deal, right? Just a chill Chill Sunday drive here on the mountain roads in a 1100 1200 horsepower, you know RTR FD car No big deal, right? So other than that first off Not doing a lot of focus remember this track, but I think this might be a fun part to take Geez to play speak see if we can beat bikes peak with this car Because we didn't fail all Geez, we did fail bikes peak with the Luna Pegasus. We're testing out the KS. We all Unfortunately bikes peak with us there, but maybe for a drift car. We're trying to drift it Maybe we'll be able to accomplish it because well, I'm way better at drifting Sometimes that I am racing Think I remembered your entire world. Otherwise, we would have no time It's probably one of my favorite Trax to drive Some of these drift cars just in six of just sliding around corners and all install it should have been third there Just constant back and forth and drifting because It's such a fun map to drive on We're gonna go off.  We finished the run So if you guys enjoyed this all the different angles with the You know in car as well as the third person camera and chase so make sure you guys follow me on all social media I'll try on the description box below and as always I thank you guys for coming back and watching I'm EvilRabbit. I'll see you guys on the track


Pegasus, which has been used to monitor and track journalists, human rights activists, and dissidents. We immediately realized that this story would be huge. NSO was established with the ambition to make the world a safer place. It's a military weapon used against civilians. This is extremely serious for democracies. There is no control over how countries use it. And they have been using it in the worst way you could imagine. March 1, premieres Tuesday, January 3, 10, 9 central on Beyond PBS.


Thunder E here and today I got to check out the Surface Duo 2. Yes, it's finally here and Microsoft has done some major upgrades to this device. Now, before we go ahead, I also got to see other devices from Microsoft like the Surface laptop studio. If you wanna see more about that, definitely subscribe to the channel and check out my video on the Surface laptop studio. Now, the Surface Duo 2, this is fully revamped. We've got of course that nice thin slick design but it's gonna upgrade the camera, upgrade the processor a lot more. Meaning we have a Snapdragon 888 processor in this device. We've got eight gigs of RAM and 128 gigabytes of storage to start off with, which is great. What does that mean for you? It means, look, you can now do more, game more and of course, great, better performance. And speaking of gaming, Microsoft has gone ahead and showcased some new features in terms of gaming. Meaning you can use that second display as your controller for Android games, like Asphalt 9, you know, you can see the controller used there. You can also put it in tent mode and play our Xbox games on Xbox Game Pass, which is great playing Forza Horizon. And of course, I kinda wanna play the new one once it comes out. But the other thing is that you can also use the second display as a controller for your Xbox games. So you can map your controls there, you can use it and it felt really good. Now, I will give you my full gaming review once I get it in-house to play, but honestly, that was a really solid experience. Now, the cameras are improved. You have a 12 megapixel main sensor, 12 megapixel telephoto with a 2X zoom and a 16 megapixel ultra-wide camera. Microsoft has listened, they've improved the cameras on this device and reports at 4K 60 as well. So better cameras, we'll see how that works and how it pairs against its competition. But I like that there. Now, this comes with a 4,440mAh battery. The problem is all the battery life with about 15 hours of talk time, which is nice. It's also a 5G capable device overall. But I like what I'm seeing here from Microsoft. They've done a lot of things to reshape device, keeping some of that unique slick form factor from last year. Now, this supports the Surface Slim Pen 2, which means you can take the pen from your other Surface devices, you can use it here. And that pen is priced at $129. Works really well. It's got some nice full functionality on the device and it's pretty smooth overall. Now, the Surface Duo 2 is priced at $1,499. So, basically almost $1,500. And this is a very solid device in general for what I'm seeing. But I have to showcase it at home once we start gaming. So let me know what games you want to see, Android games, what games you want me to play on, Game Pass, Stadia and all that fun stuff. And also emulators, we'll try that out too on the Surface Duo 2. Got any questions, any comments? Let me know. Also, check out our Surface Studio laptop video and always enjoy entertainment.


But yeah, there's a 30 no one more to go after this 19 episode the semi-final of the finale Wow This is like Brandon Novak versus Bernard Tomik. This is tennis man. Where is that his name? Yeah, man to Bernard Tomic.  What's the joke? Hey, I got three minutes back.  Can't I literally release the shackles.     They've supported us, right?  Where's the package?   Have you used that? Yeah? Yep? I used this way away No, it's easy. There you go.   There you go.  There's over 200 videos on there now. They're all fucked There's gonna be coming up the nail gun video Dig a little gun so bad when we'll talk about that surely when Michael had to go to hospital Just all sorts of shit that we can't post social media that we post there If you want to have a look at the videos There's a 21 day free trial that we offer so you just sign up and then you can watch free for 21 days If you like it you're starting if you don't you leave free charge man.  Yeah, we went to Jackson's party Matthew well done. I like Matthew's fun when he's sober Is this the drunkest we've ever seen Matt Brown?  It's so fun to be around Oh, he's always smiling. He's like his posture changes. Oh, yeah He told me about that he's like yeah, like his neck was sticking out a bit and he was like very approachable posture like cute little kid Yeah, it was very beautiful just clapping a lot.   Yeah, you guys they said up to what 6 a.m.  That was a security room. There was no phones anyway for one Yeah, there was a phone in there and guess whose phone well No, let's save that for the end. So Matt starts picking up phones taking video. I found a couple of phones here and there Himself and then he just does a nine-minute clip just on a random phone Just talking to the screen hammer drunk at like 5 a.m.  He's on Matt gets drunk.  I don't know his friend. This is But I respect you It ends up being Bernard Tomics so Tomics own messaging Jackson the next time you know, do you know who this man is? We should put it in the UOM group and the only thing We'll put the clip on yeah, do you want to add the clip to the podcast maybe?  We'll put on the only fans. Oh, yeah, we'll figure it out Somewhere because we'll have to go to I've only put a tease up on the on the episode and then we'll put the whole thing on the only fans You reckon whatever you want.   I'll still piss Wake up at what? 10 10 a.m. And then I'm shivering.  Are you so I can tell we wake up and and yeah, it's called like it was a bit cold We wake up and Michael's next to me.  And I said yeah, absolutely and he rolls out of bed and goes the toilet and as I said that I said Oh, Michael, where's your keys and I my hand like went to his side of the bed and like splashed into a puddle a Pissed like he's bed Michael piss like he's bed new bed.   It's unbelievable Jackson pulled that was incredible.   Yeah, so the research was done.   So I got good distance ways to like 10 meters away Oh, he would have been five at the start for the first shot Very very ages away.   How did it do the game?  Did you take it out? Slipped out Anyway, so we weren't worried.    That would have hurt so much Again, we shut me down. We got lucky, dude. That was after that.  Oh, that's it. Back of the head. Well, where your kidney is.  Yeah, what if I got your spinal cord or something? Yeah, straighten the spine could have gone all a range of things could have gone wrong Anyway, I shouldn't do this stuff anymore. Anyway, obviously But we needed to figure it out because no one attested before if there's a safe distance you can fire an hour gun turns out There is no safe distance for those wondering. Anyway, video is gonna be on the website in a few weeks, but yeah, it's fucked Did you slow down the nails at all to see if they were actually spinning and just happened to spin and got you at the Correct moment. No, it's slow anything down. That'd be interesting to know because the guys What do you say the research said that they spin? Yeah, the research we conducted which was one tradie. I asked Wonder if they did spin still but just happened to land in the sound like they have that gas power. That's terrifying But yeah, anyway, I was fucked video Obviously, we won't be able to post that to social media and then fucking.  I feel like terrifying.  Holy shit We're doing pretty much two weeks work every week So we can have a break at the end of the year and we're getting fucked, but we're five weeks away That's a long time.      All right, so this is only this is only a short-term Special offer for those people who have already done it. We've had like over a thousand More have you had over a thousand now? Yeah. Oh, yeah, man Because at least 200 came through the fully actual and I think and fast send them to you So we're gonna attempt tomorrow and the next few days to send a thank you message to every single person who has voted for us Thus far unfortunately from this moment on we won't be sending the video messages because it's just too time-consuming But please continue voting a fucking love it There's so much beautiful support that the podcast awards have grown a fair bit to the Hamish Yeah, they've definitely doubled up. Yeah, so it's gonna the competition is thick and fierce and everyone put so many lovely Messages in there when they sent their screenshots through.  Well, this whole thing is them.    There's still more from the weekend. Yeah, but Newton died. Yeah, the new died at the party Actually, we were at the party when he died Seriously, Julie dude. He died on Halloween at like 12 o'clock. Hmm Sacrificed he must have been sacrificed.   Why I don't know but people go nuts Like the only time I want to be around a horse is to pad it or be like all the all works shut down I don't get it. Hey, it's the race.          All right, half an hour.  Yeah, yeah, 18 nuggets Cuz I was like, you know how you get meals your chips and drink Yeah, I just want bulk food cuz like I was poor so I'd be like, okay What can I get my bang for my buck?  That whole mess like that whole more and less shit, dude Hmm not spot-on man. Philosophical balance.   It was a pretty good day Why would it make you want to kill people? I don't know.  I might go see if there's any chicks hanging around the server.  Oh Darren Similar to Darren. That's what happened. That's what's happened to him He's been possessed by something a character like that and it's taken over his brain I feel it I feel Darren doing that to me sometimes and I don't want to go back to being me Sometimes, you know what I mean? I just want to stay as Darren.   We interviewed him today Right for the finale next week. Right.    I plunged my thumb deep into my excited father's ring.  I spat my dad's smooth testicles out and let out a moan. My father grabbed my cheeks and forcefully pulled them apart.  I felt his tongue aggressively shoot in and out, in and out, in and out. My sack bubbled with hot sticky mints. I arched my back and looked back at my father, drilling down into my core with his dry, cracked tongue.  We grabbed each other's faces and smashed our teeth together.   Then we parted lips. You have made a fool of my camera, dad. I feel stronger than ever, son, said dad, and he lent in and pecked me on the nose. We detangled ourselves and sat up and left our tent to stretch our legs. We were still on the mountains, waiting for choir and question to find us. The bears had clearly slowed them down.  Then I hear it. As quick as a bullet, a rock flies past my head and connects with my father's. He's rendered unconscious or possibly dead and his body drops to the floor. In the corner of my eye, I see choir reloading her slingshot. It was time. They had found us! Oh, dude. The battle is about to commence. We left it on a cliffhanger. Oh, man. That's exciting. A strange relationship with your father.   You'd be so upset knowing all your teeth are fucked. You'd be able to get in deeper, though, and there'd be teeth rolling around, make a funny sound. Oh, dude. You'd swallow bits of teeth. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Do you remember like at blue light discos or like discos when you were young and you'd kiss a girl and some of them were still new to kissing and they'd accidentally bump teeth with you and it was very off-putting. Yeah, really? A teeth bump is okay. You can get past teeth. Oh, no, I accepted it. But it's very like... But you were the teacher at the school. He was kissing the students at the discos.  Oh, I miss them, man. Oh, let's go to one, man.  Oh. Yeah, because in my head, I was just like... I'm a teacher, I should be doing this. I'm trying to concentrate on kiss, like make sure I kiss good. They didn't want to be embarrassing. In front of the other staff members.  Detention! On this day. It's over. In 1456, shelves were invented.  People would then trip over their belongings at night and actually end up tripping themselves to death. They tripped over so frequently that it very gradually chipped away their bodies until they died.   So the guy who invented shelves is a bit of a sick fuck, but thank God, man. Where would we be without shelves today?  See that? Ground curbside collection.  We'd be tripping over non-stop.  Literally on every surface is covered. We need more shelves. You need a spring clean. A spring cleaner. Yeah, very good, very, very good. Yeah, baby. That's it. That's the on this directory, baby. I think it's time for- Bomb break time. And we're back!  Oh, he's already fucking- Michael did two bombs. He needed asthma puffer. How are we going to house fire? Breathing in all that smoke. Imagine, right, imagine being in a house fire and the house is made of condensed, dried weed. Thick, pressed down. You can get a whole ounce to a sheet of paper size and it's a whole house made of it. Yeah, but what? See, burn the house down. Burn the house down and stand in it. No, I don't reckon- Probably. You'd probably die. Yeah, if you stayed in there. I reckon it'd be cool to do an experiment where we do have a shitload of weed and you can like put it in a room and then first one to leave. Yeah, fire chicken. We've spoken about this one. No, no, no, just weed, not fire. We've spoken about fire. Let's do weed. You can stay in a room and stay for as long as you can. Is that what you're saying? It's just weed. You guys need to blow your bones out of the windows more so I can feel it. You can taste it and smell it. We've got to learn how to open the windows. Why don't we just put a hole through the wall? Next question. All right. Top question went to- Billy. Jonah. Question for the cod- Okay.  All right.  No, the only things- The things we've overcut from the podcast is when people write us really nice letters and they ask for their names not to be mentioned. Other than that, we fucking- we show you guys. We don't say exactly what drug it is because we don't want to get into trouble.  What about that time we got sent shit? Yeah, that was a good time. So, remember how much fun that was, Matt Brown? No. Dude, that was a rough, like, night. We cleared the room out. Yeah, cleared the room out. Shit festers as it sits in mailboxes. We learned. Question. In second place came from Jonathan Miston. Question for the podcast. Who would win in a fight between Fortnight Julian, not Esha Julian, Fortnight Julian or Michael from Skull and Spin Part 2 where he stands up for himself? Yeah, great question. That would be a very close fight. I'm gonna say me. Just because. And yeah, Fortnight Julian would be the only version of Julian where he doesn't carry a weapon. He turns into something else. He becomes, like, a child. He becomes a child when he plays Fortnight. He gets so giggly. He jumps up and down and cracks like this. He starts feeling himself up weirdly. He scratches at himself. It's really itchy.  So, that'd be easy to put down. You just hit it, or kick it, or it's dead. Yeah, Fortnight Julian is basically an infant. It's so weird.  It's disgusting. It's so twisted up. It's like a rat. Like a rat in a hamster's shore. Dude, it's true. So, I would win. And, but if it was normal, I reckon, in a boxing match Julian would win, I reckon. Oh, you guys are just reminding me. Did you hear they found that little girl? Cleo Smith has been found. They found her here. Dude, I've heard a story about this actually. Here we go. Apparently, some news station has posted saying that it's the wrong face. They've used the wrong person and shown it on their TV.  So now that person's getting death threats threatened to be bashed. He can't leave his house. Oh, the guy who... They showed the wrong person. Oh, that is defamation. Yeah, so now he... Wow, really? Yeah, maybe. I did see a news app. I did see a news article before I left work saying that the actual guy has already been beaten up in jail. Oh, yeah, dude. He's in trouble. Sorry, let's continue. It's unbelievable. It's very low chance of that happening. How many days was it? 18 days? And then she's not only alive, but she's like, well as well.  We helped that. That was pretty much us that found her when we first went missing. So we were the people who actually ended up, I think, I think that we actually found her. Oh, yes!  You know, all due credit to everyone else. But I'm pretty sure that we found her. I'm going to say we did, too. Yeah, yeah, I put it on our regimen. Write it down and put it on our regimen. We found Cleo. Next question is from Swampbox69.  I don't watch either. It was more of a get out of the house alive in the mornings type thing rather than watch TV. Michael? What was the question? What's better, Pokémon or Dragon Ball Z, and who would you fuck? I reckon Pokémon when I was younger but then got into Dragon Ball Z when I was a later primary school. But now I'm not into either. I mean, exactly.  Clefairy. Which Pokémon would you fuck? Haven't we done a video about this? Do you remember that? Pokémon Go. Yeah, remember when that came out? We did a video because we thought it's trending so we'll do a social experiment. And we went out and your hidden camera just association went up to people who we saw were playing Go.  We go up to them with the game and be like I remember you did a really good take of you going up saying I'm squirtle.  Jesse and moaning after you'd say Pokémon's name. But anyway, it's a great video. Where is that video?  Hahahahaha.  We've pushed it mate, not shaking his head. Matt's disappointed. I get it baby. Our next Dis pugman isn't it? He's running it down there. He's actually running it down. It's for the porn on the region mate. Martin Mockel, Fik, Cleo, Smith.  I probably have a guard Pikachu man. Is that like speaking speak at your dude? Yeah I'm gonna go with What happens hey the magnet? What about that cat meow Oh Mewtwo, what's that big snore one? Snorlax.   Lap no come here. No It made him smile. Oh, yeah He likes the thought of it Just come we'll share the seat. Maybe for P.O. Box. Maybe sure. Yeah, maybe P.O. Box. I'm gonna read out the questions. Okay You slept next to me and pissed. Yeah, I know that's why I want you here now Yeah, he needs to piss next question is from David Michael.  Like a chair graveyard Should we let him in on the idea a hundred percent? No, I'll just say there's someone coming No, there's a project video that probably one of my favorite is videos Whatever, let's tell them the idea. I'm too excited.  I feel kind of protected in the middle. I know that's why that's why we have to see Should I come because well, yeah, we're gonna need you help I do it on a weekend It goes off the road and it's it's Crashes into a tree the force by the time it gets to you won't be that bad. Yeah I reckon it'll be like a it's like a slacker. It's a sponge. It absorbs the shock Yeah, exactly moves down the mountains.  No, I don't think that we should wear anything Do it naked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah road rash Anyway, that's what that's what the chairs are for all right. So hang in there.   Yeah, it's gonna be an expensive video. Yeah Next question is from Next one is a comment actually it's from Taylor Dow He just wanted to say he's kind of cute.  We love you so much. Don't ever stop.    We are we are the best We are very very loving and we give and we give and we give and we expect nothing in return Nothing except maybe a like and a comment And maybe you subscribe and a vote and a vote and sign up to the website and buy some manscaped stuff Yeah, and maybe you go like our Facebook page and watch our watch all the video follow all Instagram accounts that we have Follow Matt's as well and PayPal us some money if you need Send it to me. Definitely you guys send it to Matt's address. Which is 2029 Street 5 so To Avenue as well central remember that so it's upper park It's a real thing, you know, like there's the upper west side in New York I think he's just merged that to upper park. Well, that's that's where it is. It's upper park next question. It's from Fucking try and listen here Can you guys take us through the thought process behind choosing a background for the podcast Michael just sends Connor a bunch of versions and then we just pick the people on the They're assigned up to the website in the UOM chat They send through like all screenshots and then I just send them straight to Connor.  Yeah Next one is from LXT. This was a video idea that really I thought was good because we've been kind of talking about something similar But he said had a video idea saying which Olympic sport item is the easiest to catch And then he listed off javelin discus shot put hurdle diving board We spoke about the job. Yeah, we see we talked about it. Then I was like, that's not a bad idea Catching all the different ones. We have a story. Yes. We have a story for you.  So I've just moved house Grass skin a bit long my little mole. We just broke hand. Do we want to talk about this? Yeah, cut all that Connor. I Think we should leave it in and replay it Little bit of it is all right, we're gonna tell the story So I've moved house grass gonna be along my lawnmower broke mocha gave me the number his gardener The first time he's coming over to my house.  I just don't touch the guy on the left. It's a bit broken He's like, oh, do you want me never got fixing it? And I was a guy.   And he was like quite calm But I could see in his face that something was wrong and he was like, oh, I've just hurt my finger And there was like fair bit of blood around And then um, he's like, oh, I've just called the ambulance as well.  And then he freaking went to the ambulance messages the next day And says that the tip of his finger had to be removed I'm like here Like your first knuckle. Yeah first knuckle. That's your second knuckle. Michael. Yeah, just just down from the first knuckle That's a knuckle too.  I never thought about that. That's a man. You got knuckles. Like that's a knuckle I thought that was a knuckle. That's a knuckle. I forgot that also the middle one there. That's a knuckle Yeah, I knew about and then on the other hand. It's a whole another story Dude, we're doing a podcast. That was so embarrassing. We got a knuckle here and there's more knuckles There's even three just in this finger. Is there any okay? It stops there The it meant no this continues on see there's another knuckle.   All things happen in bad things happen in threes. So we've we're done. We got it out of the way You mean the gardener We're a team You mean the gardener or one unit where the child um, we spiral out of control at times We lose limbs we spiral and get hurt badly, but at the end of the day, we will always come back with that gardener Yeah, he is our number one gardener. He is our unit Next question is from taylor doubt Um, have you ever had any fans wait outside the peer box address? Um, try and uh, you know, is there anything mean ever uncomfortable interaction at the peer box address when you're picking stuff up? No, it'd be whether it'd be cool if they'll imagine if we went to the peer box There's like a few people sleeping there. Oh, wow I'd bring them over. I'd bring them here for the podcast never happened with us I think that we have that that kind of sway that people would sleep on the streets for us Yeah, no, that's never happened.  Um, is there any day or night of your lives? Do you wish you had caught on camera that if you could you watch it back?  I wish we're basically most of most of our lives Before we've made start making videos.  I just realized we should wish it because we did get quite a few clips from our europe trip, right Dude michael's camera. Yeah, there's 40 jimmy shitting on the road.  Remember I'll ask him for it Yeah, I wonder it was a long time ago. That was like when we were 20. Yeah. Yeah, and like it would just on holidays in europe Next question is from dakota my man. Um Marty michael matty gregory brown. Is there one thing that the other person does often that generally pisses you off? Yeah, man. Look at him. Can't Wakes up in the morning.    Well, james would have a heap from the house.  Do you know where it is? Yeah, it's on my computer and the knife ones No, that one got lost.  No, just some photos just some unsavory photos I've got a imagine if we put that photo another one.  Oh, that's a night we met michael fallon sickening. Yeah, that's right Yeah, so there's what I don't even know what we're talking about.  You actually were my first words. It was a wall birth. Yeah Next question is from michael Yes, sir Um, marty, would you be willing to seal mon's diaries for the diary entry?  Well ask her. See if we can find her diary, huh? Okay. Okay. We've got three more. Um Questioning next words from hunter height height height. Yeah, sorry Will Matthew ever be in the video of Will Matthew ever be in the video of a podcast for the whole episode? Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, we've talked a lot in the next season matt brownwall His head will be in the shot. All right Yeah So, oh just here yeah in the middle somewhere. I want to grab it and do what I want. We'll talk about it. All right Make it like No, we could win. No, you get ahead. I've got an idea. It's not gonna work If you were here, right? If we did good things that you liked we got free matt brown Like rubs and it's good luck. It's considered good luck to matt rub brown to matt rub brown Like oily and we put oil on the head. I've looked at some of the early designs and I don't know if it's gonna work practically We'll see We can do that We can do the the thing those electric saws and go around in a circle here and cut a little hole out Right and your head a little sticking up like let's take this offline. Hey Who has gotten the worst injury conducting a science experiment? Marty or michael or markers had a broken rim and just had a needle completely enter his body So I'd say probably a michael has had the worst injuries.  Yeah, that was okay. It was like a little thumbtack under the skin.  Seriously That what are you laughing at matthew?      What murders we found smith Well, we got greg smith.  We founded him.        He put his thumb in there. Oh, Jesus. I really don't want to be touching I like that. That was a good prank Oh, look at this. I should have read this first. That's why I was like, no check the other one I sort of wanted one for myself. Dear marty on the other paper. I cummed in the drawn circle This is why I did it.  Oh, that's not a bad idea. It's a good concept.  Now we have someone send in cum finally. We got to keep that Yeah, no, we got cum that he got at me last week or two weeks ago. We've all right As long as we've had cum all right come in the jar.  All right.   This segment's going off at the moment.  Somebody asked I come why do I always play I always fiddle with things. I think maybe because I Have really bad anxiety and ADHD Yeah, I guess I do it too anyway, um Read a book Last segment Should we read a book? What's your favorite book somebody asked that question? I'm getting uncomfortable now It's too much. Are you this is your fault? Yeah, I know I want it. Yes.  Well, you've got the prank order. So I better go back. We've already filmed that man.   Um and to finish with I'd like to do a prank call if I may. Yes, please Well, it's time to get back to the classics. Well, we were thinking today and we thought what worked well last season and then we were continuing thinking and I said Well, why don't um look Why don't I do Arnold fine and try and sell some of my uh meat that I have Michael? Michael said, yeah, I was excited. I want to hear the butcher a new butcher Yeah, a new butcher started a butcher legacy started a brand new fresh one. See if we can Sell some of Arnold finds picked Okay Oh, what sorry Arnold fine Arnold fine Arnold fine fine fine Arnold fine Here we go Hello, my name, uh, Arnold fine.  I call some butcher.   So, uh, who who can I speak to about maybe selling a pig? Hold on Yeah, what's your heart? Hold on Hello, I dream thing. Hello Adrian.  So I try sell Another maybe three four pig some of the big ones. Maybe a little one. See maybe what you think You want to buy a pig? Um, mate to be honest with you talking to the wrong one here. Um, all of that has to go through the the owner pat He's not here at the moment But if you want to give him a call back tomorrow, you can have a chance for me for sure What about you? What if I sell you the pig? I can sell a very good price half price What I normally sell and then you can sell the pig to butcher make three four hundred dollar maybe five hundred dollar Uh, what you think the pig is a very large pig nearly I'd rather make more money on the pokies made. I'm all good. Thank you. What is the pokies, huh? What is that? Is that a pig? type of pig. No, no, no, it's the it's the rattle machines with the flash of lights It's up you might need to press a button and it could be down. Okay, so you say the rattlesnake You buy but not the pig Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay. Well, um, maybe I have a friend who also sell a rattlesnake Maybe he give I give him your number Yeah, go for it. I'll snap them up. Okay. What's your number? What's your number right down? I'm number one, mate. Always number one and what is the rest of the number? That's it. I'm just number one, buddy They make no sense, huh? Your number one Your number one doesn't make no sense. Do not lie to me. Do not waste my time. Excuse me. Hey, I am talking now I'm not fine. I am talking. You do not waste my time. Your number is not one Why you laugh, huh? My wife is sick. My wife is sick. I need to sell the pig.    It's so cute.      If you don't know what to comment comment comment. There's no excuse Matt Brown Vote for the podcast and don't forget to vote for the listeners choice award. Okay.  You can vote multiple times If you want Apparently a funny.  Thank you. And you know, you know why? Because we the best We're the best. We're the best. We're the best. We're the best best. We're the best. We're the best. Say it Matt Brown. Say it Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather. Weather what? We're the best. Say it. Say it. We're the best That's better Yeah, that's right, Matt


Previously on the Tour du Mont Blanc series we made our way towards Lac Blanc, a beautiful lake at an altitude of almost 2,500 meters. To get there we were facing one of the most famous parts of the TNB, the ladder section. Once past the ladder section we reached one of the most iconic viewpoints of the TNB at the Mirror Lakes. In 10 episodes we will take you around the Mont Blanc Massif through France, Italy and Switzerland. This is the Tour du Mont Blanc. Good morning it's our final day on the Tour du Mont Blanc. Yes in this morning we woke up at Lac Blanc as you can see right behind us and the evening was absolutely spectacular like on the white side we had an amazing sunset it seemed like the mountains were on fire and on the left side there were thunderstorms and right in front of us there were eye bags and it was crazy it was really really beautiful the hut though we wouldn't recommend it the hut was really beautiful but the food was really bad yeah to be honest it was really bad and the beds were really really small and we are really tiny Dutch people so you can imagine that like tall people can't fit in a bed but we were still really lucky because the scenery was beautiful so in the end we were very happy that we stayed there today like I said it's a final day to Les Houches where we started as well it's an eight kilometer hike to get there and the weather forecast is a little bit all over the place there is sunshine there is rain and there are thunderstorms predicted but there is an alternative route Petit Boconsult a beautiful trail which we hiked before that runs a little bit lower so if the weather turns bad we can do that hike but today first go to Flechère which is an hour from here and we'll check the forecast from there so an original route of the TNB goes via Prévent it's higher than La Flechère where we are going first and when it's tundering the cable cars won't go from Prévent so that's not the best spot to be in and hiding when the thunderstorms come exactly so that's why we go first to La Flechère and then just see from there so we just had a little brunch break at La Flechère which was amazing and gave us a lot of energy yeah and now we have a three hour window for going to La Prasse yeah so we are going to push it to there and then we'll see from there so far the weather has been perfect actually nice and sunny but we see some darker clouds rolling in but so far we're really enjoying it and there are a lot of escape routes so either way we're good to go today you're free just me how are you feeling good it's good again the cloud was pretty technical there were some staircases and like not apart but without like the security so it was a little bit scary and a little bit like wobbly knees but we did it and yeah um for the people who are technical climbs there is also an easier route to Prévent there's even a cable car to Prévent so there are multiple options so we're now at the top at Prévent which is at 2500 meters maybe a little bit more and from here no more climbing after 12 days of climbing 11 days or 12 i can't remember it's only a downhill it's a 1500 meter downhill the longest downhill so far and then we're at the trailhead again at the finish line wow well deserved yeah and so here we are at the end of our Tour de Montblanc adventure a journey that took us 170 kilometers through three incredible countries France Italy and Switzerland we had our ups and downs along the way with thunder and rain being some of the low points but the stunning mountain passes and the beautiful views we encountered more than made up for it and of course the trail magic thanks thanks for saving our lives yeah you're welcome we were challenged physically with a lot of climbing with over 10 000 meters of elevation gain but the reward was worth it in the end we encountered some amazing wildlife on the trail like marmots, ibex and mountain goats and we met some amazing people the snow capped peaks of the Montblanc massif were a constant reminder of the magnificence of nature and its power the fresh air the silence and the fastness of the mountains were a welcome escape from the hustle of our daily lives the Tour de Montblanc is a test of willpower a celebration of nature and a chance to connect with the world around us it's a journey that will stay with you forever and we hope that you too will have the chance to experience its magic this was the Tour de Montblanc luckily we found some shelter so we have to be careful it could be better quickly better yeah it was pretty cool right yeah i loved it what what


Hello everybody, I am Dr. Shikha, I am 41 years old. I want to share my experience with Manipal Hospital during the birth of my second child. I was consulting Dr. Tasneem, so I was a high risk pregnancy as I was suffering from chronic hypertension. My age was also in a higher site and during pregnancy I have developed gestational diabetes and I was on medication as well as on insulin to control my sugars and during third trimester I have also developed colostasis. So with so many factors I was a little spectacle to undergo normal delivery. We managed her pregnancy very well, though she had a little bit of risk of BP going high and sugars going high. She had a normal delivery and baby and mother was doing good. During her pregnancy we also noticed she had intrauterine growth restriction but close monitoring was done of the baby's growth and we are happy to tell that she had a normal delivery at the age of 40. Dr. Tasneem has boosted my confidence and she has been very detailed in answering all my queries during consultation with her. I am also thankful to her and her team of doctors and all the labour room staff who has taken care of all my needs during my labour process. I would like to thank Dr. Tasneem. She was very descriptive and patient in all her conversations with us. It was all the comfort and the confidence that she gave to my wife which enabled her to go for a normal delivery. Overall I would highly recommend Manipal Hospital Whitefield and Dr. Tasneem. Manipal Hospital Whitefield is a safe place for you to have even if you're elderly it's a safe place to have a normal delivery here.


Hello and welcome to Pookie Ponders, the podcast where I explore big questions with brilliant people. Today's question is, is there really always a reason behind bad behaviour? And I'm in conversation with Susie Heyman. Yes, my name is Susie Heyman. I am an Agony Arnt, a relationship counsellor. I'm the author of 31 books. I write about Agony Arnt-ish stuff, step families, teenagers, having a happy family, all those sorts of things. I'm a step mum. I have a son.  And I have a granddaughter. When they were pregnant, they announced it by saying, I'm not going to be a step granny. I'm going to be a granny. Yay! I've got a lovely husband. I've got a cat. I live in Lake District. And I broadcast and I talk about families and relationships and young people and all that sort of thing. I'm the trustee of a national charity called Family Lives, which is a sort of family, you know, general. And I'm also, I was, I'm retired now, trustee of the charity Become, which is for kids in care. So I have a particular interest in kids in care and a patron of a local charity called Unikids, which is helping kids with autism. Wow. Do you ever sleep?  I love it. I love it. That's, that's a lot of stuff that you're doing. So how, how did you come to become an agony aunt?  Absolutely not. Absolutely not. I worked for the Family Planning Association and then for Brook Advisory Centers. And I was the information officer, press officer, doing a lot of writing. I was sort of aiming towards journalism in a way, but I got very caught up in the whole thing about sexual health, young people, families, things like that. And when I was working for Brook Advisory Centers, we had a fabulous wonderful woman called Dr. Faye Hutchinson.  Delightful woman. And I was once approached by 19 magazine suggests somebody to be their agony aunt. And I suggested Faye. The thing about Faye, God bless her, was that she couldn't, she didn't know a deadline if it hit her in the face. But anyway, I could get her to actually, you know, submissive every month was to sit her down and do it with her, which Medaille sort of gave her a bit of a training in journalism. And she gave me a training in counselling and, and in agony aunting. And I really tasted it. And then sometime later, I had the same thing happen to me that magazine called, goodness, I was so long ago, which one was it? But they went to, to the FPA and said, can you suggest someone? And they suggested me. So I began, that was a monthly magazine. And then I was headhunted by woman's own and then moved to one. Wow. And are there kind of particular issues that people come to you with as an agony aunt over the years that are your kind of preferred niche, if you like, are there particular areas that you feel you're especially able to help with or that you've enjoyed? I suppose I've got a particular expertise in step families that particularly interests me. Families generally because the family lies, I suppose, and kids in care because of kids generally in families with, whether it's conflict because of become. So I suppose there's sort of an expertise in, in step families, having done it, a t-shirt, know what it's all about and that sort of sense. But you can't necessarily advise better just because you've experienced something. And often the sort of help you're giving people is not to tell them what to do. You might be unpicking their story. You might be reflecting it back to them because they may not really have heard themselves and quite understood, you know, what are the real issues. So it's a generalist and that's why I did my relationship training because it's a generous sort of experience in counseling. That's the important thing to help people work out their problems because you're not telling them what to do. You can never tell something. You help them arrive at a problem, a resolution to a problem that can work for them. And so really what you're trying to do is to get them to understand as well as, you know, you understand what is going on and what's really there and then work out the solution that works for them. I see. And the question that, you know, we came to for today's episode was about whether there's always a reason behind bad behavior. And I suppose this feels like a moment segue in there because it looks like you're looking for reasons behind things and helping people to actually understand the problem. Yeah, always because the three stages of counseling are exploring, understanding and taking action. And so in exploring what you're looking at is not just the presenting problem. You're coming to me and saying, this is my issue. And you explore that. But you also explored behind because you have to know what's underneath that makes that particularly difficult. I'll give you one of my sort of classic explanation, one of my classic illustrations of this was I helped a family who came to me with step family issues. A man with his children, woman with her child got together. And the problem was that they presented it to one child. His daughter was the problem. Sons were okay. Her son was okay. Everything was fine except this one child was the problem and making things difficult. Because all of a sudden she'd be kicking off at school and being sort of cheeky and not doing her work and things like that. She was the issue. Solve her, cure her and we'll all be okay. And the question I asked, and this is the question I think you should always ask, which is what happened? If somebody starts doing something behaving in particular ways that are difficult, what happened? And the what happened may not be immediate. It may not be last week. It can be five years ago that something's triggered that off. And I discovered with this girl, okay, her mother had died. Well, yes, they knew that. But that was years ago. Surely we've got over that. Recently his father had died. His father. Hang on. That's her grandfather. Her grandfather was died. That's the last link she had to her mother's family. Oh, and recently her best friend's mother had died. Oh, wow. And the dog got locked and knocked over and killed the couple of days before she started. And, you know, when you actually looked at that, what happened? There was a list of things that this child had experienced loss over a list of things that were really upsetting her and worrying her and triggering her off. And it was as if nobody had actually looked at, but it was a list of things that were really upsetting her and worrying her and triggering her off. And she looked at the what was happening and seeing how much this was affecting her. That in a sense, the losing the grandfather and the grandmother was triggering off her feelings about her mother being lost. And even the dog, everything was culminating in this child feeling upset and un... And she couldn't necessarily tell me. She couldn't necessarily herself put her finger on what happened. It was that she knew she was restless and happy and nobody was paying her attention. And so she was kicking one. So that when you unpacked all that and started looking at it, actually the answer to the question was, why wouldn't she be behaving badly? So I think that's often what happens. If you actually look at the what's happened, you start realizing why people are behaving in particular ways. They're kicking off about something recent in the past, recent that has triggered the past, all those sorts of things that they may be angry about. They may have experienced loss about. They may have affected their self confidence. They're feeling of where they were in the world, where they were in a family. I mean, step family is one of the thing about step families. Of course, one of the things that upsets with you is that it upsets your place in the family. You might have been the youngest child, and all of a sudden you're no longer the youngest child. You may be the oldest child, and all of a sudden you're not.  Your place in that family has been upset. Your place in the world has been upset on top of all the things that have led you to being in that particular situation. So whatever, step families or anything, the question everybody needs to ask when something happens, when something's a child or an adult is feeling unhappies. And do you think there's always something? Do you always find something when you begin to pick it apart? I think so.  I made a somewhat sarky comment on Twitter you might have seen about, you know, that if I had the time machine and could go back and change things, the usual one is, you know, go back and assassinate Hitler. Well, actually no, because somebody would have stepped in this place because that was the whole point that was happening in the political situation at the time. Trump, I think he's pretty unique. Let's get rid of him. Yeah, exactly. Really, really triggered. Anti-vaxxers have been around forever, but there's one particular man, and I will not mention his name, who in a sense gave them the excuse of, well there you are, a doctor said, remove him. Yeah, that might be a good idea. But somebody else remarked quite rightly, knowing me, yeah, but you might have changed them if you've gone back and done something about their upbringing. And it's quite true. Look at somebody's upbringing, what their parents were like, what their grandparents were like, whether they had parents and grandparents, that affects them. I mean, even somebody who is psychopathic or sociopathic, something triggered it, whether it was physical illness, physical brain chemistry, or whether it was an event or a succession event that actually has done this to them. And this is what counseling is often about. It's unpacking, it's telling the story, and then starting to see, shaking that spider's web, all those things that have led that person to be where they're at the moment, and starting to understand. And so many times I've been with people where you go through this, and you'll get somebody saying, oh, oh, I never thought, I never realized, oh my God, when you say it, I get this uprush of emotion and I can now actually put my finger on what, in a sense, is underneath all this, that is triggering off a lot of my feelings and a lot of my actions. And once you know, often, it rather melts away, not always, but at least sometimes you can help people to take different decisions, make different choices when they understand what might have triggered off the behavior that they are now showing. And how do you go about finding that out, because that's something that scares a lot of people, isn't it, opening up these kinds of cans of worms, when you're not quite sure what you might discover? Exactly, exactly. And not just you, but the other people around you may actually find this very frightening, because often, it's almost as if they, you know, they don't want the blame to attach to them. So if you can say it's that person, then it's their fault and it's nothing to do with you. And sometimes when you start unpacking stories, people start thinking, well, maybe it's me. It's interesting, you know, when people come for counseling, sometimes the person who is very keen on coming to counseling may not be the one who actually wants to do most of the work in it. And in fact, what they want you to do is say, oh yes, you're right, it was the other person's fault. And then look at me, I've come to counseling, I'm open to change, but in fact they're not. So that counseling can often be a very, you know, it's a very tricky type roping situation, because you are trying to help people tell their story and start understanding their story and understanding where it fits in with everything else. But often what you're dealing with is these different agendas. I don't want to be to blame. I want to blame them. I don't want to be involved. I want to, you know, I want to say that I'm doing the work, but I'm not. It's a lot of work. And so the answer is, okay, yes, it can often be very, very tricky and very difficult. And sometimes it's even painful with the people involved. If they go through with it, the results can be transformation. Yeah, but it's hard work. It's hard work for everybody. And I really admire people who come. I can, the particular family I can think of is I've kept in touch with that I did television series with. And my goodness, did they grab it and run with it? And they really did want to know, they understand what was going on and want to make changes. And when the two adults concerned were doing this, the younger one started to get into it too. And what are we talking? God 10 or 15 years on, my goodness, what a changed family that is because they did the work and understood that they had to do the work.  It's 50% path, what you're bringing to it, insights you may have, the understanding you may have, the ability to put your finger on what's going on here and explain it back. But it has to be 50% of the other person. It's the actual person who's problem it is, they have to put in 50% of the work. And if they don't do that, you are very unlikely to get anywhere. If they do, poof, as I said, transform. And how does it work when you're supporting families where the child is in care? So you said that's a particular interest of yours and it's a particular interest of mine as well. But potentially there, you're in a situation where it's a lot harder to get the full picture or to get everyone on board. I mean, how does that work? It's going to be difficult. It's one of my, one of the things that I feel very strongly about, and I don't think it happens enough, which is when kids are taken into care, I don't think enough help is given to the people whose children have been taken away from them for reasons.  And again, and you have some people where this is a succession of pregnancies where the child is taken away. Because what they're desperately trying to do is they want somebody to love and to be loved by. They want to succeed, but they're not being given any help to do so. And I think we do invest enough attention and help into people who have had children taken away from them. A hard job.  And so it can be extremely hard to offer help because you can't change other people. They have to change themselves. They have to be invested in doing something about it. But as I said, I don't think as a society we do enough in helping people in that sort of situation. We help the kids. But you see, this is it. And I've got a couple of people, you probably know them as well on Twitter, who there's one particular man who's written some very, very good stuff about being in care.  He's broken that cycle. And my goodness, he deserves to feel proud of that. Absolutely. Because it is often a cycle, because that's what you've learned. You haven't learned how to love and look after or be loved and looked after. You've learned in a sense to be disappointed and to be angry and be all sorts of things. And so that's why you get those cycles. If it's broken, isn't that wonderful? So yes, I would like to see a lot more invested in helping people who have got issues around. And I don't think we put nothing to it. What kind of help do you think that those people would really benefit from? What are the, you know, is there a sort of, I don't know, particular sort of skills or understanding that you think, I'm guessing there's not a one-size-fits-all, but what do you think we will? Well, I think parenting skills. I think understanding also what maybe you have lost out on, recognizing that if you haven't had the training to be a parent from your own parent, then it's very difficult to learn how to do it for yourself. One, I thought was very interesting thing. I know that I'm a triple P accredited parenting expert, whatever they call it. This is the positive parenting program from Australia. And I know that was it around them, they did some work on what had better outcomes if you offered parenting skills training to people, or if you offered relationship skills. But if you're having a family come forward, they've got issues, they've got difficulties, conflict, there's all sorts of things going on. And what you do is you put them through a parenting course and what were the outcomes of that? Or you put them through a relationship course and what were the outcomes of that? And what they found was actually the parenting course did better. Okay, it's transferable skills. And because when you think of it, what is the best basis for being a parent is to be somebody in a loving relationship knowing how that works, able to relate to your partner and therefore able to take those skills to relate and understand to your own children. And so I think, you know, maybe what we ought to do, I mean, if I was the Empress of the world, what I would do is make sure that what school started off on. I mean, yes, it's absolutely lovely to know the, you know, the data that Spanish aren't modern, boiling point of nitric acid, all those sorts of things. Fascinating bits of information that you might use in the future. Although, let's face it, you can now Google and you don't have to learn them in school. What we ought to be learning in school is how to relate and how to understand ourselves and why do we do certain things and how to be friends and what is friendship and what, you know, what are the ways where we can be confident about ourselves and be confident about other people and have respect for other people and ask them to have respect for us. All those things, that to me should be actually the basis of any education. It's now being bolted on. I mean, it's an extremely good parenting course, family courses going around in schools. Very good ones.  And they do help. But necessarily they're coming in late. They're coming in bolted on to where there is a problem rather than starting right from the beginning. And it seems to me we're all recognised.  They're things that you learn. And of course you learn them from the people around you. And if you don't get a very good, you know, skills based in parenting from your own parents, how on earth are you going to be able to do it yourself unless you have some help and support and understanding what goes on? And do you think that that is worsened by the fact that in today's age, you know, the thing we might be comparing ourselves is to the stories that people present online rather than actual real life and communities? I like to say in a sense, you know, what goes around comes around. It's all the same. I mean, the sort of problems that I get, I can be patient for the last 20 years to a certain extent can be very, very similar. People are more prepared to be explicit maybe than they used to be. And they've got more information now than they do. But on the whole, it's sort of the same. But, yeah, I think that there isn't enough talked about these sorts of issues. There really isn't. We don't do it enough. Yeah, I think, you see, one of the things I find challenging as a parent with the online thing in particular is that kind of everyone else's perfect lives thing. And you always feel like you're failing. Well, this is the point, it's the airbrush. It's the fake news. And so that what you do tend to get online, of course, yes, is, you know, and I was like, Dastli Man some time ago actually printed his daughter's school report on. You know, I was a wonderful parent, look at how well my child has done. I mean, let's not go there and I don't know what the situation is. But even if he did, did she understand what was going on? But it's the attitude of, you know, that the success of my parenting is shown in her marks, not necessarily. But it does set up a situation where everybody else feels jealous and they don't actually know what really is going on. Because airbrushing occurs. And you could tell I'm not airbrushed. I don't airbrush. But you do, to a certain extent, compare yourself to the people who are presenting a picture which may not be entirely accurate. It's, you know, it's written. It's curated. Isn't it fascinating watching the backgrounds of people? Mine's fairly, there's not much in there. But if you watch a politician or, you know, a lot of people doing zooms, it's a wonderful wall of books.  Is that a scene? You are presenting an image of yourself that you want other people to understand. And that's one of the problems about, you know, how parenting works, that an awful lot of people are presenting a picture and it's not entirely accurate. And particularly with celebrities. And if you look at the, you know, where the sad record of so many celebrities in how well their relationships was eaten, how well their parenting proceeds. And even when they're probably limiting how much information you get, you can see behind it. It's not very good. Because what they're looking at is the external show rather than actually what's going on underneath. And I think, you know, this is what we need to recognize. Parenting is difficult. It's hard. You have to learn how to do it. Actually, you do learn how to do it. Whether you learn it from your parents or the people you see around them, or whether you'll be lucky enough to actually sit down and say, okay, you know, this may be a way of doing it. How can I do it better? Let's learn. It's one of the things I find myself telling schools is about when they're engaging with parents and families about how much the schools have got to share that sort of value. Because sometimes I think that there's this fear that it will seem condescending because parents are experts in their children. But actually, when you work in a school, you've parented hundreds of children and often you've got really good practical ideas about how to get this right, don't you? Absolutely. And you're not necessarily an expert in your own child. You might have been an expert in your young child, because your young child shares things with you.  This is the task of adolescence is to pull away, is to become your own person, is to actually look to your friends for who you compare yourself to and who you learn from than your parents. So when it was with your parents, you would tell your parents things and ask your parent questions. When it becomes your friends, you share things with them and you tell them things. You don't necessarily tell your parents. And I'm afraid whenever I get a parent who says to be confidently, oh, my teenage daughter or son tells me everything. I, you know, warning signs go off because if you think that you're not listening and you're not realizing what's really going on because in a sense, properly you shouldn't. Properly speaking, your adolescence shouldn't be sharing. And in fact, that's why the teachers probably do know more about your adolescent child than you do because they see the adolescent child without the filter that you've put on with this fond idea that you know all about. And also interacting with other people in a way that actually reveals a lot more, you know, what comes out maybe in there. Parents will often feel like they've done something wrong if they're finding out for example that their child is self- harming and they've told the school before they've told a parent. What's your view on that? No, no, no.   You haven't done anything wrong. What you may want to look at is what, again, is the what's happened. What's going on in the family, what's going on in my child that they've chosen this as a solution. That's one of the important things I think we need to recognize that when young people start doing something weird, self-harming, dabbling in drink and drugs and anything like that, arguing, whatever, to them you see it as a problem and so what you might want to do is let's solve the problem of whatever it is they're doing. They see it as a solution. They're doing it because it's a solution to whatever it is that is bothering and so self-harming, cutting, that's a solution. It makes me feel better when I do this. It releases something. Drinking, drugs, all of these things are from the child's point of view and for anybody who is doing this sort of thing, it's part of your coping mechanism and your solution and so therefore what you ought to be looking at is not the thing itself.  What may be going on in their life that this is their way of trying to cope with, solve whatever answer this particular problem in their life. Do you think that's true of a sort of wide range of behaviours that we're kind of looking at, the kind of why and then maybe looking how else might one manage? Absolutely, absolutely because behaviour comes out of feelings and you have the deep feelings which is the need for love and attention and a feeling of self-confidence, feeling of self-esteem, that's what's the underlying thing and then on top of that you then have the feelings of need, of anger, of pain, whatever, love, those sorts of things and then you get the behaviour that comes out of that and so if you look at the behaviour you have to dig down into the initial thing of why they're doing this and then right down into what's actually at the bottom. To a certain extent right at the bottom it always is a wish for acceptance, a wish, a need for feeling good about yourself, all of those but how have they come up into the next level of feelings and then how do they actually emerge in the behaviour? How do you go about defining, it feels to me like maybe there's different roles that the different adults play things, we talked about the difference between school and home for example and how do adults worry about a child for whatever reason, seeing some behaviour that's interesting that's different how do we work out what we should be doing and what our role is within that child's life? Sometimes I ask in the question what can I do and that's always in a sense where you begin with rather than saying you should be doing this or I don't like this so I disapprove of that, it's what can I do to help it seems to me there's an issue carrying on there's a problem going on here, what can I do to help? Is there someone else you'd like to talk to? I think it's having the courage to also realise you can't be all things to your child and therefore you do need to actually harness other people, could be teachers, could be counsellors, could be youth club, there could be an important add out, sometimes things like the child I mentioned about what had gone on in their background, all these things, why wouldn't that child be actually showing, if I mention the actual, the other thing was that her best friend's mother had died as well in a litany of horrible things that had happened to her, but the point there was that the best friend's mother was very important to her because her own mother wasn't there and I think that's the thing that sometimes there's a chosen adult in your child's life and it might be maybe not quite realised that they're there but it may be a teacher, it may be a relative, it may be the next door neighbour, it may be a friend of a friend, parent of a friend, something like that, there may be that adult that you could in a sense say to, can you help, not you tell me what my child has been telling you, not you tell your child what I want you to say, but just do they come to you and can I encourage them, encourage you to feel it's okay to actually help the child but you also have to understand about sometimes confidentiality so that you are saying maybe to your child yes, please talk to a teacher, talk to a counsellor, talk to a chosen adult and I'm not going to ask them what you've said because that's your way. So it's about having a bit of trust and letting go a little bit almost very much so and that's when I talked about the task of teenagers is pulling away, the task about lessons is to pull away from your parents and become eventually an adult in your own right and it goes in and out so you want to sit on their lap and suck your thumb one day and be the adult the next day but basically that's what you're an apprentice adult working your way through that but I think also that it's about your recognizing you have a task which is to let go as you said, it's letting go and that's what lessons with your child is all about is them pulling away and you letting them go and it takes an enormous amount of courage to actually say I am no longer the central person in my child's mind, what a loss and you know if we're talking about losses that's a loss that every parent needs to actually recognize and encompass you are losing being the central person in your child's life. If you let them go they'll struggle and take the first sort of way out as soon as they can it's about having that courage to say I'm here for you, I will whatever you want I'm here my love is unconditional, I may not like exactly what you're doing but my love is unconditional I'm here for you if you need me but I'm not going to insist that you do it this way that's hard isn't it I mean I'm very lucky I mean again you know sort of walking the talk here I have this boy who is my son although I'm not his mother and I adore him but I can remember times when I could sort of sit back and say well okay but that's his mom and his dad that deal with that I don't have to now with my granddaughter she's my granddaughter so maybe I sort of feel more part of that but that's a bit you know that's that's likely more of a distant relationship than with your own child with your own child your own child's successes and triumphs and miseries are a reflection on you and so it's very hard to actually lose control of that and say go and do your own thing and I'm there for you but I'm not going to steer you because I shouldn't but my goodness how many parents find that very very hard I remember someone saying to me when we're going through a challenging time with one of my daughters that you're only ever as happy as your least happy child and it was so true and it's hard though because you can't fix things for them can you you can try and create an environment in order for things to improve but you can't fundamentally change how they feel I think that's the point it's the fix you know that when our children are young we do feel that we're there to fix things for them we're there to solve the problems to make it better to kiss it better to resolve any arguments to smooth the path when they get to be teenagers that is actually the very wrong thing the very worst thing you can do is to try and in a sense curate their life and if you keep interfering they're never going to learn and they're always going to feel I'm not good enough if I can't do it for myself if I can't make my own mistakes making mistakes is fine it's just failure I really do think we ought to be much more open about failure is good because it allows you to see what did I do wrong how can I do it better but we're so frightened of the idea of failing that we call people losers or failures if they make a mistake we ought to see it as a natural progression and it's the same with young people we need to let them fail and make mistakes and we as parents need to fail and not think it's the end of the world we can't be right all the time we can't be passive of our teenage children not the absolute guides and certainly not in children so we should be wrong modelling that mistake making that's right I think so, I think showing damn I did that wrong how am I going to get it better next time that's okay not hiding failure or making excuses or being in denial good grief America at the moment is taking such a seminar I lost it's the most ghastly model that you're being given it's like a little child toddlers are allowed to have toddler tantrums when they do something wrong because that's part of learning how to deal with it and to show your horror and displeasure that it didn't go your way you have a toddler tantrum and then you get up and you try again and you can have an argument or you can have a display and slam doors and all sorts of things as a teenager to do eventually as adults is when something goes wrong and doesn't go our way to say okay try again do that and do it a different way but you know models you say I think the model thing is so important we should model to our young people how to have an argument and resolve it how to look at things and do it differently you know how not to do the definition of insanity which is try the same thing again and again and again and be quite surprised if it results in the same thing again and again it's always trying to get different with models are so important how we do it that's what we show our children and loving them is an incredibly important model I mean I'm so pleased in the last few years the way that men have come into the family instead of being the better earners the people outside there who don't show weakness and failure and happiness and unhappiness they're now just with women as well being with toddlers and being hands-on I think the disgeneration of the teenagers now are so much more fortunate that ones let's say 50 years ago who only had one person in their family who was showing that you could love and you could cry and you could do all those sort of emotional things men didn't do it, only women did it now they're getting the example in so many families of men do it as well that is so much better for the men and for their children and for their partners Absolutely, it's one of the things I'm constantly blown away by actually when I do youth engagement work is the emotional literacy of our teenagers right now it's phenomenal I mean I learn from them every time I work with them Exactly, same here looking at my granddaughter talking to her and about her friends absolutely brilliant, it is actually quite and I'm not sure where exactly that comes from because I'm sure there are fantastic schools that do that sort of misuse but it's also what they see around them and it's the models that they are seeing far more in their families of being able to show emotions deal with emotions but all sorts of things Absolutely Is there anything that you have had to significantly change your mind on obviously you've been agony arming and advising for a while you've written many books is there anything that you do very differently now than you might have advised I think it probably begins through the training it's understanding bad people who do bad things that actually usually it's because bad things have happened to them so it's being much more understanding about people who behave badly and understanding why and understanding what's going on and seeing how people can be redeemed I think that's the important thing one of the the organisations under the umbrella of family lives for some time was one that helped families who had a partner in jail and one of the things we know is that particularly men particularly men if they are plugged into the family if the family are still keeping up a connection they are so much less likely to come out and go back to crime and they are so much less likely to have mental health issues if they're still in the family and they come out to their family it's so much better and yet again we don't support that enough in this country we tend to have this feeling that if somebody is committed to crime and goes to jail they need to be punished rather they need to be changed helped, supported and one of those supportive things is looking after the family as well the families themselves often are serving just as much as a sentence as the person who's actually in the jail and usually less supported in a sense than the person who's in the jail so it's seeing the importance of actually helping people who've done the wrong thing and this is again back to the families who've had children taken into care helping anybody if all you're saying is they did a terrible thing they were abusive to their child get rid of them but understand why they did that what was the failure, where was the failure what was going on there and help and support now that doesn't mean to say that you put all the attention on that person and this is the baby pee scandal because I think the social workers were so concerned with the mother what was happening to the child and so sometimes you have to be as a social worker or a counsellor, very good at splitting your attention, making sure that everybody in the picture is actually getting full attention but it's about that therapy and that support going to everybody in the mix in order to have better outcomes absolutely and one of the things that I'm working hard on at the moment with schools and it's still an earlier area for me in terms of understanding is thinking about our trauma informed work and how so often those issues are hugely intergenerational and if we're trying to support a child through trauma informed practice, actually often there are traumatised adults there who've never had this kindness and caring and love and support that the child is receiving and unless they can receive it too often it's very hard to sustain because if that what you do then is send the child maybe to the same situation in an additional level perhaps of the adults feeling why did they get all the attention and what about me which is actually quite justifiable because things tend to come in families because these sorts of things do as you say they are intergenerational we need to actually extend that help not just to the next level up even to the next level above that as well that there needs to be support for anybody involved in that sort of situation and care and concern and that's why there is a problem not because I mean I have an absolute committed deep belief that people do not behave badly because they want to be behaving badly because they're bad people they behave badly often because bad things have happened to them and they react to it act to it in ways that are not helpful to them or anybody around them because they don't have the insight because they haven't had the help in doing something about it and so you know if you've got horrible things happen look up why and put some I mean if you think about it financially speaking we would actually be saving so much money if we were putting a lot more money into therapy and help and support than we do at the moment because the end result at the end of the line as it were of people not being supported is crime and suicide and illness mental illness physical illness all those sorts of things which are far more expensive be far better to absolutely sink our billions into supporting and helping people absolutely and do you think that in terms of supporting those adults like whose role should that be because again you know I find myself doing this work with schools and there does come that question where does their job end you know we expect them to do everything and yes I mean teachers I started a teacher myself that's what my initial training was and this is one of the things that I was seeing was that you can't teach if people are traumatised or someone who is coming from a home with issues they're not receptive to learning so if you want to do your job you cannot say my only job as a teacher is to teach is to impart information because actually what you should be doing anyway is not imparting information but imparting the ability to find out information for yourself to inspire to give confidence to people to guide them in learning which is not in parroting what you've got to say to them so you're starting off already with an idea of learning is not just sit there and I'll tell you things it's a bit more than that I think to a certain extent therefore we should recognise that we have to extend it sideways people can't learn if they're in conflict situations if they're in traumatic situations if things are going wrong in their families and they often can't learn from themselves but they also stop the people around them learning because these are the kids who kick off and are disruptive so when you have a kid who is disruptive and where should we be putting that and if it's not the teachers actually doing it the teachers maybe should trigger it and we should have teams of counsellors available to schools to do this sort of thing if it became something that everybody knew was okay and was taken for granted it wouldn't matter a shame or a matter of you know I mean they'd always avoid to a certain extent because again it's a question of personal denial there's nothing more than me it's all about you so it's always going to be hard to get people perhaps to access help if we had it as something that was always there and everybody used it I think it would become a little bit more acceptable for people to sort of say I've got a broken leg I've got a doctor I've got a broken heart I've got a heart Yeah it feels like we're moving a bit more in that direction but there's always that issue around resources isn't there and I think that you know those yeah that support is available if you can afford to pay for it or if you've got time if you can wait for a very long time to talk about today are perhaps in either of those situations and that goes back to my argument it would save money in the long and it's a great pity that we look at budgets as discreet so in other words you have a school budget you have an educational budget you have this budget you have that budget instead of seeing actually it's all society what is happening society and what is costing money when you look at it that way and you start saying well okay people in prisons people doing crimes people doing hooders people committing suicide people getting ill that budget that you know that we have to expend to help people at the end of all of that actually could be you know we'd save a lot if we put that budget in at the beginning and didn't let them get to that situation right at the end we you know them all for the past as it were and it would be cheaper I think that they have worked out there's some ideas about how to put money into counseling how much would you I think it's something like for every one pound you save 11 pounds billion pounds you save 11 billion pounds I mean it's asinine that we have to expend that amount of money in a sense on bandaging people instead of preventing them getting the damage in the first place it can be hard with those sort of prevention strategies though to get people to invest in them it's very you know you're working on the long term and you're preventing something you don't know who it was going to be it's very hard isn't it I remember when I was doing my PhD trying to work out outcome measures for prevention it's very very very difficult but yeah my wholeheartedly agree prevention is always going to be better thank you it's an attitude to society I mean it seems like if you look at for many many years I think the figures are not as bad as they used to be but looking at teenage pregnancy and you know you looked at because what they ended up realising is in fact aspiration is what prevents kids getting pregnant if they have a life to look forward to they tend not to get pregnant so if you raise kids as young people their aspirations that does actually take a cut out of the teenage pregnancy but if you were comparing let's say you know the Netherlands to England at one particular time I think it was something like eight times the number of young people in this country got pregnant then out there because what they were doing is having explicit sex education in schools for decades and you know and teenagers would talk to their parents far more than our teenagers would because the whole area around sex and relationships was so much more sensible was so much more open was so much more understood now we're getting there and our teenage pregnancy rate has dropped yes fantastic but I'm just thinking about you know so many other things are also better in the Netherlands and it is things like mental health and teenage suicide and things like that because young people feel they have a voice they're being respected to be given information about which they you know so they can make choices in their lives that shows a respect which I don't think we have enough of in this country we still tend to rather have you know young people need to be looked after and told what to do we can't trust them and I think that trust actually you know ends up with better behaviour what do you think would need to happen for that to change Good question we need to import the what's that wonderful lady who's the PM in New Zealand can we have her please who run countries you know Scandinavia I think it's about attitudes that we though we still seem to be having our country run by men who went to public school know what their attitudes tend to be about sex and relationships you know not terribly healthy I suppose we need to have more women at the top we have to have more women making decisions about budgets and not feeling that they have to do it the way that men have always done it more mums I suppose more dads who actually are hands on dads the ones who separate themselves off from being parents I have a phrase which is think like a parent if there are so many decisions you make in society as a politician if you thought as a parent you might actually do something which is different and kinder and more respectful and more helpful if you were thinking in terms of would I want my child to be in this situation and I mean you look at kids in care the care system is shocking absolutely shocking that you can still have in this day and age a situation where children are being sent from one home to another to another not because it's actually to save money to get still going on you have kids who have 13 placements in a year nothing to do with them or their behaviour because the authority is saving money by sending them to these different places would you want your child to go through that if everybody who was running childcare organisations or anywhere in this country was thinking in terms of I want my child to be in that situation I think you'd have better outcomes but I think it's also in a sense you know running banks, running schools whatever I think this is why teachers can often be so good because what they're also doing is looking at these are my children and I do for them what I would do for my own child because that's because you're face to face with those kids if you're in a political situation in the office you may not be thinking in that way you're many steps removed aren't you and you don't think of your own child in that sort of situation and I think we need to start doing that we need to start running our countries for our children yeah and I I think the one thing that worries me though is hit the nail on the head there my experience of why teachers school staff are so brilliant with our children is because they treat them like their own and they care so deeply but I think that's also sometimes their detriment I mean right now I'm really worried about the well-being of staff in our schools because they seem to have had to hold it together for everyone during the course of the pandemic and how do you I mean you must have to do this you're taking on other people's problems all the time how do you protect yourself when you're doing that and you care the brief and this is why I have a bit of a boring thing about agony people who are not trained because part of my training as a relate counsellor I started being an agony aunt before I was actually trained by relate although as I said I was trained by the psychosexual so I was already trained in the recognition that for a start 50% the other person and you have to let go but when I did my relate training what was really really useful was to recognize this ability to stop at the door as it were I work from home but I still have this idea of at the end of the day I close down and I leave it and while I can offer help I suppose while I can offer information while I can offer insight in the end it's that person's decision and it has to be that person's responsibility because I can't be there all the time saying do this do that they have to take responsibility themselves and so I have to be handing it over so whether I'm doing face-to-face counselling or whether I'm doing radio work telephone work writing work it's always with the aim of handing it over and that means that I have to recognize the limits of my help terribly frustrating sometimes as an agony aunt and even as a counsellor you know this you get to a certain point when you have to say go off and go on writing your own story and I don't know the end of the story first one all you have is one letter and you don't know the end of the story you don't know whether they took your advice you don't know if they did something that made you better you don't know and you have to live with that and you have to let go that sounds really hard don't you just find yourself wondering absolutely absolutely and I suppose this is it that I dealt with in step families in the series who I kept in touch with afterwards yes it was lovely to see the development, to see the end of the story was so good but yes you have to get used to that and you have to know to step back and so you have to debrief yourself at the end of the day you know in a sense rituals are lovely so generally at the end of the day it's a bath and you know take my kindle in a bath and read and that's the separation between the working day and the evening and it absolutely separates it and so I do let go and that was one of the things that I think is incredibly important whether I'm as I said Agony Anto or Counselor whatever you draw that line and step away from it and know that you have to let it go and I really worry about some of the people that I see doing some of this work when you know they haven't had that training to start they're getting hooked so you get yourself in a situation where you're talking with somebody it's an issue perhaps that actually speaks to you and so you're giving advice for yourself not necessarily advice for that person you're seeing things that in fact are not really there because you're seeing your own story rather than their story training helps you not do that if you're doing counseling having a supervisor where you could discuss things where you can do that having somebody else's eye helping you untangle what's really going on incredibly important anybody who gives advice who does not have that sort of background that sort of support I think is dangerous for themselves and dangerous for the people that they're helping wow that's a big and I think this is one of the things that many of the people I work with worry about is how much is it safe for them to do because there aren't enough trained professionals out there for the number of problems that there are and so many people find themselves stepping into the breach and needing to be that person but not feeling qualified to do so absolutely and when they get to the point where maybe they've got burnt out because there's a limit to how often you know how long you can do this being able to say I have to step back I can no longer do this or I need to take a sabbatical I need to take some time off that is very hard to do and you can yes I think you can get pulled in to continuing when you shouldn't and as I said it's then affecting you or you're trying to help other people in a way that you actually are actually you're trying to help yourself through them you need them more perhaps than they need you yeah yeah and I suppose that's a really useful touch point isn't it, is am I doing this for me or am I doing it for them yeah who is really being helped here who's cup of coffee is that the lovely sort of thing that we have in training I'm trying to think it's a relate or is it family lives but it's about who's cup of coffee is this there's a cup of coffee there is that my child's cup of coffee and I'm trying to deal with it thinking it's mine or is it actually mine and it's your problems then you need to deal with your problems if it's theirs you have to say this is yours and as the adult do you think it's ever okay to share your problems with the child that you're trying to support if they feel kind of relevant pertinent familiar I think it's extremely important and I think very advisable to recognise that for them to recognise that you're a person with problems that you're not divorced from all of this that you're not perfect so to have some insight into what might have happened yes but if you're leaning on them if you're using your child as your therapist or your friend no that is an absolute no no I think it's terribly important however much respect to teenagers letting them take charge of their own decisions and their own feelings and being able to have opinions of their own that's incredibly important but you are the parent not the friend and that's another of my red flags that people say oh yes with my daughter we go out and we're like sisters and we're deep friends she doesn't need a friend she's got friends she wants you to be the parent and occasionally as a parent you need to make yourself very unpopular by saying no and you don't say no in the same way to a friend as you do to a child and you need to hold on to that but when that person is a teenager yes to know that you have fallibilities and problems and have had problems I dealt with it this way perhaps this has happened to me I can remember that and this is how I dealt with it or this is how I did not deal with it well and I'd hate to see you going through the same problems that can be quite valuable but leaning on them using them to help you or just doing it as a hey look at me I've done the same thing I mean that's an awful thing where the child comes to you with a problem and you instantly think oh I have the same problem they don't want to hear that they want to hear you saying oh dear can I, that's tough what can I do to help you they don't want just to have you one-upping them with I've got problems even worse than you and they don't want you to lean on them they really don't need that there's an important role there wow we've covered a lot do you have a kind of closing thought you would like to leave people with um be kind I think it's incredibly important listen yes be open about your emotions and feelings but don't lean on your children in that sort of way don't invest them they're not your therapist for a start and you're not their therapist you're their parent and their helper and sometimes you need to pull in the therapist to help them properly I think it's just about listening and that's really the most important thing listen and communicate


G'day guys Duncan here with your monthly pick. What's the number one issue that we probably all struggle with when it comes to training a cutting horse? It's cattle and it's cow supply. We would all love to have a fresh supply of cattle but we don't and that's just the reality of it. It's too expensive. So this month I've gone with Phil Hansen who has come up with an ingenious way to work rerun cattle without being pushed on or without the cattle lying to your horses. He puts a laneway which is only probably 20 feet wide. He puts a turn back horse in there with one cow and they just go through a simulated type cutting. It's a wonderful video for all of us to learn from because we all have limited access to cattle and it's a great way to keep working cattle, keep the mechanics but have a live cow in front of you without threatening your horse or lying to your horse. If you have limited supply on cattle you need to watch this video because it's a wonderful learning tool.


A post office in central Minnesota has been shut down due to health and safety concerns from water damage and possible bacterial growth. The post office in Bolas, which is just west of Royalton, has been shut down until repairs can be completed. Spokeswoman Kristi Anderson says the building shows damage to the walls, ceiling, building materials and floor coverings. Anderson says that a firm will complete an evaluation and suggest the needed repairs. The post office location has been closed until further notice. The temporary and retail services have been relocated to the Royalton post office. If you enjoyed this segment of Lakeland news, please consider making a tax deductible contribution to Lakeland PBS.


That was a hard book, but that was... I was like, why? Yeah. Good old days, I see. I'd say it's kind of difficult. I'd say investment. Nah, he was on the bench. I was on the bench. I was on the bench. It was really hot, but I'd say it's kind of difficult. It's like investment. Nah, he was on the bench. I was on the bench. That's guys. That's my Davis, you know.