Welcome to poem city. Well, here we are three quarters of the way through Enjoying Ten years. This is the 10th anniversary of poem city. We owe it to Rachel Sennichal who works for Cali Coburn library I work with Rachel. My name is Michelle Singer and I'm her program assistant for poem city And every year it's our pleasure to put this festival together and get the artwork organized from the elementary school kids and Pick the placement of the poems and otherwise just enjoy poetry to the maximum We are so happy to be here today for welcome for integrating personal and political a reading with Sue Burton and Carol Potter I would like to thank our poem city sponsors National Life Group Foundation Vermont Humanities Council the Hunger Mountain Co-op Vermont College of Fine Arts and the Poetry Society of Vermont They give us really important financial backing to make all this happen We are so happy to have Carol and Sue with us today Carol Potter's most recent collection some slow bees was awarded the field poetry prize from Oberlin College Press She teaches for the Antioch University Low Residency MFA program and lives in Tunbridge Sue Burton's collection box is a nut 2018 Indies finalist in poetry and was selected by the by Diane Seuss For the two Sylvia's Press poetry prize Also released in 2018 is her book like poem Little Steel from Foamite Press She has an MFA in writing from Vermont College and lives in Burlington They will have a Q&A session after and have books for sale for cash or check. Welcome to Sue and Carol Well welcome everyone on this terrible day of the usual rain I want to thank that Kellogg Hubbard Library for well for Hosting us and also just for poem city, which is fantastic. So Relay our thank yous to Rachel and Thank you to Michelle Singer who has been a sort of our to-go person and she's been wonderful. So It's really great It's such a delight to be reading today with Carol Potter I first heard her read several years ago at the Norwich bookstore and I was taken with her work Especially her heroic crown of sonnets called the Miss Nancy Papers, which is based on the 1960s TV series romper room It's a wild poem It's in the book back there So a heroic crown is 14 sonnets and the last line of one sonnet becomes the first line of the next and then you and then There's a 15th sonnet where you take either the first lines or the last lines of each of the first 14 poems And that becomes the 15th sonnet got that Okay Anyway, I heard Carol read and I said oh I could do a crown sonnet for Nettie Nettie was my great aunt who died of an illegal abortion in 1902 I've been working on a poem or maybe an essay or who knows what for several years And it was just stymied by my reams of information Family history the legal legal status of abortion in Ohio in the early 1900s a Year's worth of 1902 Columbus Ohio newspaper clippings and my own history because I've worked as a physician assistant in women's health centers My friends were saying sue you should write a novel So it was a little crazy to think about Nettie as a sonnet sequence But there's something to be said for structure and these little 14-line boxes for controlling material So later I'll read some of the Nettie sonnets Carol and I are billed as reading poems incorporating personal and political details At first we thought we were billed as political poets Which seemed either a minefield or a big role to fill You know political poetry has had sort of a tenuous reputation in this country the US The present US poet laureate Tracy K Smith describes her experience as an MFA student in the late 90s Which is when I went back to Vermont College and got an MFA The attitude in the 90s or the attack on political poetry was couched in terms like Didacticism and slackened craft and artistically questionable Good poetry was personal lyric and still based on the old Iowa Writers Workshop mantra of show don't tell Of course, there are always undercurrents just as there have been trends in the other arts of the media or culture as a whole But in the last maybe 10 years there's been a shift We have political movements now like black lives matter and me too and pride fun to end gun violence And at the same time our country's politicians are heading us towards fascism Right now there's a need for poets for everyone to speak out So political poetry has reemerged although the old term is still may be suspect Political poetry is now often referred to as poetry of engagement If you're interested we can talk about this in the Q&A Okay, after all that I'm going to start off by reading a poem decidedly not political As part of the Palm City Celebration it's posted in the window at the three penny tap room. I decided to come back next life as a cocktail a Marilyn Monroe of a drink plum lipstick see-through skirt. Yes. I love being irresistible Drink me drink me but wish to become a martini with Kurosawa and lemon twisties or champagne with crème vette Aromatic seeds wide wild violets brandy dash with cloves. Oh Life is such an adventure today's installment a librarian with a transplanted heart of a biker starts to crave beef and true story Goes out and buys a Harley My drink is the color of a heart has cravings Serialized romances card tricks and show these would you drink me drink me if I'm infused with violets Petals tickling your throat. Oh, oh, it's metaphysical the night sky fizzing Stars like gold canaries cognac chartreuse the cadence of the moon all that frog song I'm the story you'll pick up and never put down You will become thirsty The title of my book box refers to the magicians box in which the woman who is sawn in half is sawn in half Get that so the magicians box is sometimes referred to as the celbit box after its inventor. So here's a description for your edification about the celbit box The celbit box the bloodthirsty hair raising celbit box in which a woman is sawn in half was introduced in 1921 By the magician PT celbit with the prototypical ever-smiling magicians assistant Betty Barker inside London the roaring 20s when this sawing took place crowds lined up for blocks Selbit stagehands dumped red and water into the gutters behind Finnsbury Park Empire Nurses stood in white caps by the exits and ambulance parked out front as a publicity stunt PT celbit offered suffragette Christabel Pankers 20 pounds a week to be his permanent sawing block She declined I Think many of you know how the trick works the sawing in half trick But for those of you that don't I'll do a little demonstration Well first of all there to the box it has two parts so it can be pulled apart But it's initially closed and there are two women So one woman walks in lies gets into the box lies down puts her feet up The one end of the box and her head up the other Meanwhile, there is another woman in the second half of the box crouching like this underneath, okay, so The one woman lies down the magician twirls his cape. They turn the box around And meanwhile the woman who's in the front pulls her knees up to her chest the woman who's down below goes her feet up The trick is you have to have the same size foot All right The house of illusion She'd say some day you'll go on without me She worked the back of the box from underneath Where the saw couldn't reach? Her name was Ruby. We had nothing in common, but our long skinny feet She was down there in the dark like Nijinsky's fawn in a cream-colored body suit little goat horns that nobody could see Bobby pinned in hair that nobody could see red streaked in kinked and of course the silver shoes same size as mine at the end of The box that everybody could see She was always talking down there. I'm inside Nijinsky's dead brain She get louder when Jack started with the saw inside the cloven soul The whole box thumping like a stance Jack sawing away.  I Would go up to Oliver sacks at a party and he wouldn't settle away when he asked what do you do and I told him Oliver sacks at 80 Mercury on the periodic table Now I'm in love with Adrienne rich or at least in love with the poem that says I touch you knowing we weren't born tomorrow Is it better for me to love the Adrienne rich who built the poem or the Adrienne rich inside the poem? Oliver sacks doesn't remember faces, but he would recognize me in a poem Oliver sacks is happy to be mercury solid when it's cold. He can turn on the heat whenever he wants When I am 80 I will still love my box My box is a tooth and I am the root my box edged with gold Why am I lying in a box? Because it fits me like a ruby slipper Because taking up snakes is illegal in every state, but West Virginia The box is my gift horse. Don't look it in the mouth But what if things son-in-half makes nothing happen? What if I click my heels? What if I click three times? I'm deathly afraid of death by regret and of the mad and their lousy weather So I'm going to read a poem in the voice of the box The box gets on in half as well After hours the box all lacquer and gold locks fortells has an epigraph the monarchy to survive Must put on a show for the people Low the future has five sides in a lid on the top of the lid is painted curtains on the underside sky Sky and the Greek blue like an empty coat egg persisted as a battlefield My mama was a gypsy wagon my papa a pine box draped with a flag as is always was ever will be Once I watched the gypsies carry the saint down to the sea I was a baby and they wrapped me in flowers and a sequin shawl I'll show you the king said but I saw his fate in the bottom of the cup Low the populace will vote in a new king Low he will provide for us another war And we're back now in the voice of the woman herself son in half Once a God painted a sky blue like the sky to be invisible above the battlefield And there is referring to Amman the Egyptian God who's invoked at the end of Jewish and Christian prayers I paint myself red Like Gabriel's copper-tinted wings in the window of the sealic Sandini the light would pass through me and I'd color I change everything The magic of course. I always say is not in being son in half, but in the rebirth Climbing back on stage night after night the ritual of it all Or I paint myself red like Matisse's red room to plant an idea Something like that. He said something like that Or maybe the red and Picasso's girl before a mirror where the red holding the mirror is the color of the box My box my twin curled up inside There is always another girl hidden in the mirror the mirror is always red Red has many values the troubadours rose the whore of Babylon's red hair The red you're waiting to see spill across the stage when I'm son in half. I Like the idea of planting an idea in China red is the color for brides and in the Renaissance Mary wears red under her cloak Some gods are painted red Visible in the blue sky above the cannons, but not on the battlefield Okay, I'm going to switch gears for a few minutes to another battlefield I have another book Called Little Steel Little Steel is a long poem which is written in sections. So it's a little tricky You can't just dab here and there into it. So I'll read the first couple sections It's based on a skill a steel strike that took place in my hometown of Maslin, Ohio in 1937 It's a strike that affected the town for decades and really still does When I was growing up no one in my family talked about the little steel strike We didn't learn about it in school. It was a strike brutally put down by Republic Steel But it set the stage for recognition of the union and for labor reforms These days in mass and the mills are gone and the town is dead. I mean half more than half the town has boarded up I think if you're Talking or thinking about political poems or poems of engagement something to think about is audience to whom are you speaking? Do you expect to make things happen to kind of paraphrase Odin? I started working on this poem in the 80s in the 90s, but I really didn't find my audience until a couple years ago I was writing about the strike because of a need in myself, but I Wanted it to be heard, but for various reasons it was sitting in my drawer for years But a couple years ago. It's a long story But Burlington's wonderful for my press encouraged me to publish it And then I was invited to read my poem in Maslin at an event of the steelworkers organization of retired active retirees It was the first time these folks had heard a poem about themselves telling their story in Some place maybe it's analogous to how African-Americans or the LGBTQ community feel about the recent brilliant outpouring of poems by their peers Someone putting words to their experience Acknowledging it although there still aren't too many poems about steelworkers So I'll read the first two sections it the poem features Some 1937 immigrants steelworkers two of whom got were shot In this during the strike When I read the poem in Ohio Trump was trumpeting against immigrants I mean he still is but I said to the steelworkers group were all immigrants some of us Just got here sooner than the others and they broke into rousing applause.  Oh, but the strikers threw a rock and That is plays praise Nick Vafias or Vodious or Vodlas gun down at the door to the strikers kitchen excusable homicide Praise the Union who took up a collection causadas VB blasted four-foot crosses over near the fence But what's become of Vodious's cross so we could check the spelling? Praise the eerie street cemetery that dips and rises for acres gray slabs Smack-deb in front of black marble monuments the size of mobile homes I'll far cry from Rose Hill where my father is buried dead level Cowfield on the other side of town Where the great equalizer has stomped the graves heel printing identical flat metal plaques and pop-up metal vases But behind eerie's mausoleum the footstones of four section four are flanked by lumps and sags Even in death the worst town the west border plunging to rambling defunct Republic Steel So praise Betty Betty the furnace and Betty my best friend in high school Ten million dollars fired up in October 1926 Hundreds of steelmen in attendance gaping like medieval bumpkins at rems Cathedral big Betty once while lady processed 6.5 million tons of iron before she was banked for the last time in 1965 Raised in 1974 Praise the girders the pilers pilings the stainless pots and pans the roller bearings The handrails the chassis's the gears the road signs the crankshafts the tankers the halls the kitchen sinks the bread knives The bed springs the train tracks the lorries DC threes praise steel praise Maslin steel Marion Red 25 years from high school last night's hold that tiger still reverberates We stood and ridiculously sang before the buffet and then again at midnight I can't decipher this eerie street cemetery map So follow a hillbilly Virgil a kid with an orange mustache with a twang I got knocked out of me when I was 10 we keep her up by selling graves. He says What if you run out of plots? I say He waves toward a new section across the street fresh dead maintaining the old the infallible formula of social security Section four he says is the only place where the fill has sunk the forehand side. He says kicking at one of the moms They came from Italy from Greece from Slovakia from Spain They came up from West Virginia. My mom said don't let on that's where your dad's from They came from the south though blacks had to settle in the bottoms The mill the mill blood brothers. They married the mill Marion Red wish yourself Battalions of smokestacks keeping them true big shotguns on end Marion blue Vale of ash of unremitting heat acres of soot gritty wedding cake basilica a Promise big as a city brick looming separated by a moat the Tuscarawas River from the good side of town Some days the sun cut red through the haze Some days she didn't bother. Oh But it was a dream in 1937 they fist to cut for $5 a day a 40-hour week by 1986 $600 a week time and a half over time if Interview with Uncle Bob. I did a number of interviews with people in town Of course you have your foreigners that did the rough jobs down there like chipping and scarfing which is real bad for your health They lived on the other side of town over in Columbia Heights They'd come in by the hundreds and they'd be 20 25 of them living in one house's size They'd have bumps in the basement and little cupboards for their bread and they'd save every dime and send it back to Italy Then when they'd made enough money, they'd go home without any teeth They'd all lose their teeth from the acid fumes and the soaking pits If they didn't quit young they were dead because it killed them sure as you're a quick tall Okay, I'm going to go back to box and to his other thing which is abortion I Worked for over 25 years at the Vermont Women's Health Center in Planned Parenthood And I'm going to start with a villanelle Which is on page 2 a Villanelle is a form that it repeats lines throughout the poem So it's great for obsessive themes or for obsessive personalities And there are references to the poet priest Gerard Manley Hopkins and his poetic technique of sprung rhythm in the poem and I wrote this poem after Dr. George Teller an abortion provider from Kansas was shot in the head He usually wore a bulletproof vest though I'm not sure about that day because he was killed in his church just before a Sunday service It's called today it's Hopkins and his obscure spiritual contraptions Everything I read is heart-corseted like a concealable vest police surplus good as new Some fanatic is packing a gun.  Even Hopkins the beauty of the body is dangerous Wrestling with God that obscures spiritual contraption Last week. I read we're wired for God blessed evolution. We're spring me wired to control oil water sex God help us tonight a fanatic is packing a gun Another doctor shot the killer thinks he's one bodies ourselves mere rhetoric Beauty is the spirit fleshed. I mourn I get ready for work. I put on my contraption It presses on my heart Some fanatic is packing a gun Okay, so I'll read some of the netty sections Um They're prose poem sonnet So what I had was a set margins and then just when I got to end of 14 lines for one That was the end of that one, but it sounds easier than it was It's kind of a complicated story netty died of an abortion, but she probably wasn't even pregnant There's secrecy incompetent doctors She was taken to a dicey neighborhood to convalesce at a boarding house run by a midwife mrs. Beatty The author of netty's ruin as them as they called him in the newspaper skipped town There was a big trial headlines in the paper for months Netty's brother who'd help her get who'd helped her get the abortion could have been sent to jail as an accomplice Legally in 1902 there was a controversy whether a woman who had an abortion was a victim or a perpetrator of a crime Hard to believe that we're back at that place again today Okay, so I'll read a few of the sections It's called box set For my great aunt Antoinette netty vote boat 1880 1902 One netty in a pine box the family Bible says died young Erased then written in again a scandal my mother says botched back alley in all the papers My mother's name is moon. He took advantage got her drunk My great grandma netty's mother Susan. I'm named for her saw a bell of fire in netty shoes left out on the landing Why did you go back to teaching? Names begotten a line of heroes toting the muskets bugles our ticket to the D. A. R. Proper netty's name erased who wrote it back Mu says our people didn't slight Men's names doing muskety things no family tree for Antoinette Antoinette netty boat Frenchified Ohio My mother's name is Mu. She told me everything she knows My name is sudy sudy. Don't brood. No one likes a gloomy puss Netty has a lovely tombstone down in Thurston Then I'm gonna switch to three Is it true netty wasn't pregnant, but she thought she was did she try one of those mail order concoctions? The parsley seed cure did it screw up her hormones? Everybody took them ads in church bulletins for blocked menses, but she was seen by doctors Hoskins and cooks Did they even know how to do a pelvic exam? They inserted implements bent smooth bent spoons pen holders wire attached but can't repeat 1968 Baltimore X waiting in a bar while I go to the doctors to get a rabbit test to get a phone number so somebody could drive me someplace in Pennsylvania Unfolded exit had a few beers by the time I got back to the bar The doctors waiting room was standing room only thick with smoke, and then I'm switching to 11 Netty died not knowing tell me it was a blessing sudy sudy Howl was mrs. Beatty was she motherly?  I call to her. It'll be perfectly safe in the car She shakes her head and takes hold of the clasp with both hands the boats are right here. She says 12 Right here moves says again clasping the boat family headstone frowning slightly her other grandparents were her favorites The boats were a nervous bunch. She said and the sisters fought like barn cats, but they were loyal to each other Netty's tombstone a few feet down slope from her parents graves faces away from the churchyard in the direction of the old farm a polished granite square wreath with scraggly brown grass Antoinette daughter of WW and SL Boat July 7 1880 May 30 1902 It's a beautiful marker moves says now. Do you feel better? Back in the car. She looks tired small. It's starting to drizzle As we turn north from the cemetery out into the main road. She looks over her shoulder in size She fumbles in her purse for her compact didn't you ever want children and then I'll read 15 the last the composite poem but what I did is I did it as an erasure poem So it started off with the 14 lines and then I Erase most of it. I mean because her name was erased in the family Bible. So it made sense to me And it also made it easier 15 erased Netty died not Guilty they dug the grave Okay, I'll end with a poem called American pastoral American pastoral Autumn house of no need Death at the door and you drowsing in the sun. Oh Rocking chair rocking chair freckles corn stock here House of no-seek corn drying So many lacquered afternoons and now another Bees bees why bother messing on the golden rod? America and fine fettle while the fields burn So glad to be reading with Sue and thank you for everybody for coming I'm going to read some newer poems and oh Thank you many that were There's a series of Have a series of poems that are based loosely on some kind of pop science Evolution and my question has been as human beings how much have we actually evolved that we like to think we've evolved but This is palm is called a common misperception It's quiet like that Bukalic looks like nothing's going wrong anywhere at all Bear trees rocking back and forth three crows chasing an owl across the field into the woods Yesterday men appeared at the top of the drive Rifles orange vests big boots at the same moment dog ran at them marking in a 350 ton C-5 Air Force cargo plane grazed us all It's 200 foot wingspan at treetop the noise of it making each of us hold his or her breath for a moment Dog didn't bite the man the man didn't shoot the dog Plane didn't crash of course. They were puzzled by the woman shouting from the doorway of the house. I Wasn't shouting. I was swearing at dog at men with rifles Cargo planes forest one week after San Bernardino the inexplicable mother and father It gets confusing Which was which when and where hands up or down on the ground on a bike in a car We heard the shots saw someone fall the plane boots on the ground dog barking one thing blending to another Link which linkage disequilibrium. Yes something vestigial in us all You might be the enemy you were fighting from the air What you know might be useful information if you could shake your own self down Could remember what country you came from what language you were taught to speak if you were the men in the plane Or the men the plane had come to take if you were the plane or if you were the bolts on that plane or simply a passenger What feeds us what we feed on the men faded back into the house The men faded backs use me they've been faded back into the woods the plane disappeared dog came back into the house That's a Massachusetts poem actually and I'm going to move on to a couple of post poems that I have a Gotta call it animal Cedarium. That's all a through Z sort of five illistic poems that were begun into 216 after the election and there seemed to be no other response Because it again it all kind of blends together In this poem is called anaconda and in fact I did not have an anaconda. I do know somebody that did have a bow constrictor This anaconda In the house It felt very Trumpy in that there was something then then just we couldn't see it But it was squeezing us around the middle Oh anyway When we brought the anaconda home from the pet store as things seemed to be okay My sister insisted on carrying it around with her though. She could barely walk the snake was so heavy We were accustomed to that sort of extra load Something a bit cool around the neck and the shoulders bowing down I told her to put it back in the cage because we hadn't named it yet and didn't really know If it was a him or a her She put a sock on the snake's tail that night because she was certain it would get too cold in our house The heat hardly working and our father gone missing the next morning the snake was gone too There was no food in the house either and clearly the snake had rummaged through the cupboards had opened the fridge and drunk the milk We saw beads of milk and a ribbon of crumbs on the floor Something we got used to hearing rustle around in the walls of the house all night long It was like there was some extra muscle in our lives One night my sister Was giggling in her sleep and the snake was there around her middle pretending to tickle her This is something that happens to girls the thing wraps around you you giggle you forget in the next poem is written Exactly around the time of the coffin hearings and the confirmation and it's I did have a dog that did this but This is sort of sort of exaggerated and the pumps called woodchucks are the girl in need of some murder You do not want them in your fields the holes they make Places your animals could step into and break a leg Mounds that could tip a tractor over if the kids were driving and weren't so smooth letting out the clutch And yes, this is a farm story Which is what those of us who grew up on farms have always secretly known is the only story The death the sex the birth the father beating on the cow the pig getting its throat slit How you watched whatever happened to be happening and you didn't flinch To brand new hooves poking out the back end of the cow then the wet muzzle the face Then the whole calf body slipping out thumping onto the ground.  She had murder in her. It's true I liked that I was a girl in need of some murder The sharpshooter that was my dog I was a girl in need of something running fast fuck down the field and shaking it by the neck I'm Actually going to be reading something called the blow-through floor and in other manifestations, it's called with a good math and it's inspired by It begins with a with a video from National Geographic of a skater skating on black ice in Norway and Sweden and most beautiful Christine ice and the sounds that the skates made were uncanny and gorgeous and so it begins with that and into this also comes Into this also comes the fairgrounds of the Tumbridge fairgrounds that are filled with ice That first winter I was living there and actually it repeated this winter and Some references to to Bill Bryson's at home. It's our crazy architect that he talks about and also coming into this in the This fabulous story and video that I saw about the blow-through floors in the high-rise buildings in Chicago in the 83rd floor it was or something like that where they have a wide open floor So the wind will blow right through the building and not make the building sway and it Became for me, you know seemed to me like it was something that we needed personally, you know blow-through floor in the body So this begins with a with a quote from Kidritch and it is it is another sonic crown I wish to bastardize sonic 14 lines And and again the last line begins the first line of the next poem The blow-through floor I Learned to walk on that time as if it was ice every so often getting out a little farther Before the surface sagged and creaked in the cracks radiated from the place where I stood for another day That's from a hole in the sky bike of Kidridge The song wild ice makes Skating on the thinnest most pristine ice when a lake has its first cover thick enough to bear your joy is Both an art and a science the man gliding across the black lid of the lake tells us the cracks beneath the skates Making laser like other worldly sounds the thinner the ice the higher the tone High sea means it's about to break There's a mathematical equation to it as there is for so many things You've got your water pressing up from below and the sides of the lake supporting the ice as in a dome You've got the weight of a man and the air in his lungs and the sky on top of it all The math is horrible. He says so don't try it.  The floor is made of glass these pages to Yesterday the field was covered in glass a thin layer of ice the snow crackling as dog and I poked our way across it Both of us pocking through now and again. Nothing mathematical about it random dog post-holing in my skis getting sideways No way to predict what would hold and what collapse We'd like to imagine we can control it the breakage in some of the tallest buildings now They build a blow through floor so when the wind smacks the building the building won't sway it passes through Otherwise the occupants might get nauseous might need to get the hell out of there If it was a closed office a taped up box of a building Sometimes you hear it the thought of wind against a house a tree a car a body My body in plain light in summer standing in a screen door looking at the lake ear pressed to the phone My brother telling me about the cancer. He's being treated for a breeze riffles the lid of the lake Grass between us and it There's leaning into the earpiece to hear there's someone cooking dinner in the kitchen behind me There's always a phone call some kind of notice being given He was speaking softly after all he says I'm 73 After all after the wind some sky some learning and I thought of the blow-through floor and those high rises When a blast of wind punches the building it passes through In olden times when wishing still helped one actually each one of these is Has got a title, but it's easier to not read the titles. They're all from various And olden times when wishing still helped one It doesn't break nobody falls down Maybe the blow-through floor is the same as the let it roll off your back floor. It's the don't let it get under your skin Floor it's the nothing and nobody here floor no doors to knock on no carpet floor No year-round report no evils no boss floor. It's the water over the damn floor. It's that it's not me It's you floor. It's the nobody any window floor staring down at whatever boulevard floor Waiting for who knows what to happen floor. It's the no crying over spilt milk floor. It's the nobody gets broken floor You could be the body that breaks things the one who walks on the cold frame in the drying yard You could be the one who held the clothesline and thought she could walk above the small heads of lettuce Across a pane of glass you could be that light child the magic girl You could be the one who thought the glass was magic the sneakers on your feet magic of course It breaks you could be that girl crashing through you could be the one who came screaming out of that yard Bleeding you could be the one marked the skin broken the cold frame broken the clothesline broken glass shards in your hands Inches you need are everywhere around you. That's from Every other Sunday or something like that Shards of glass in my hand mother in the driveway leaning on the horn get up hurry up get going an Accident I said my hand just flew through the window by mistake and the brothers Cutting holes in the ice to test to test which of them was toughest which could hold his head in the water longest Like there was a hole in the world one could play with pretend to die and come back It's a radiant moment really a building half demolished doors opening into the air Chairs sofas sitting at the edge of the room six stories above the street and most of the walls gone No walls left nobody home as in a war roofs windows all the people gone How we carry what gets broken forward? Sometimes it's there is sometimes not what my father saw in the war what he brought back After or doof he wrote to my mother I'm not sure how a man can come through this and have normal feelings and reactions ever again I wish to God. I were home now We never knew which door he might blow through how fast what he heard sometimes in our voices teenagers breaking things I've often wanted to break things in the office. I worked in next to the lake There were some betrayals some who said what to whom one score at a time All my life I've known girls who score their own skins little criss-crossings and hatchings as if the skin below The skin needed air as if not enough was broken Beyond the window the frozen lake people skating across it Scritch of blades little windows cracking fish beneath the surface Studying the sounds the crackled sky above them was making you can walk across it drive on it You can cut holes into it Sometimes someone or something broke through as if the ice or a door a roof a glass wall I didn't mean to do that How the wind cracks the door makes gaps and trees whistle in landscape Like blowing across an empty bottle like my father singing when he did head tilted back We could trust that voice his face radiant the song's corny, but nonetheless Sometimes it's all we need Somebody forgetting what needs to be forgotten Tonight the wind sounds like it could fly a person one end of a field to another one town to the next the body Being a closed office. No windows in it. No blow through There's some beauty to it what the wind can do to a landscape Something opening up where everything had been closed children breaking through what needed breaking Sometimes something needs some breaking we broke the doors on horseback Broke into the abandoned school careened across the wooden floors of the gymnasium Broke some signs two trucks one car if the parents looked at us mad we broke that too Sometimes you just need things to go whack like the river did this winter Packed with ice bullying itself out of its banks it filled up the fairground barns Sledges of ice planks broken floors trees Something magical the way it moved in and stayed all the doors of the barns left open the animals of last summer long gone All the animals of last summer long gone oxen pigs sheep the four-legged breath of it all I Would have liked to see the river do its work here the sound it made shoving its baggage into the barns Filling them up floor to rafters the building side-by-side with the river Doors left open as if to let flood waters pass through no harm done Now and again a structure makes some sense unlike the boat house a man built with no doors and The house with a door that opened into a wall I think of the people patting around the boat house corner to corner another man walking into the wall behind the door Nothing mathematical about it. Not the good math One could be wary of the math of the possible failure of it the rides in the midway That tilt the world teak up the lunge and plunge the cogs and gears and nuts and bolts of it all Someone has to factor it do the math put it together the wheezing machines churning lights blazing screams laughter From up on the hill above one wouldn't know if that was fun. You were hearing or something horrible Children getting heaved into the air then dropped flung sideways upside down Strap tight to the ride the doors of their bodies wide open lights passing through them The elasticity of children terrified pinned against the night sky Tickets in hand ready to go at it again Ready to go at it again and again the ponies next day yanking concrete sledges across the ring Handlers shouting crowds cheering the inordinate math of it pulling until one of the team falls to its knees Nothing my own horse would have done Bucking me off heading back to the barn. She did what she did until I learned to hang on I was a 10 year old on the back of an animal 10 times my size You can learn to ride whatever needs riding Those icebergs this winter shoulder to shoulder in the stalls like some kind of Translucent creature a person might saddle up and ride away down We need it something that can hold this weight take us out of here number 14 How much the world can hold we don't know but we've seen it break and break and break again There's children's fascination with dinosaurs. This was what was this is what disappeared Apparently Jefferson didn't believe anything had gone extinct on the American continent So sent men out to find the woolly mammoth Perhaps we're still out there looking for it Want to see it rise up out of the plane's tusk by tooth with a mastodon's giant beavers short-faced Bears we'd like to see something walking toward us field by field street by street Shining sea telling us nothing got broken anything can be repaired Here's the number 15 You're skating on the thinnest most pristine ice a white field covered in glass this body in plain light a building That could so easily fall You hope it doesn't break though sometimes. Yes, you be the body that broke things Nonetheless shards of glass in your hand smashed windows no walls left nobody home It's an office. You get born to or not wind cracking the door open that gap Sometimes something needs some breaking though so much already packed up and gone Wary of the math the possible failure of it. We'd go at it again and again one more time How much the world can hold we don't know Does anybody have any comments or questions or I just I love different But yeah, there were these themes that Especially in your poems that was fun to see that There's so many things in both of your work And hardly formulate questions But I Yeah, I don't usually use form but it tends it when there's a tremendous amount of material it tends to be you One way to convey it, you know and contain it I just Nothing That I think Sometimes sort of legitimate criticism of some of the political writing is that it's just kind of a rant and this kind of Deep inside and so that's just it wasn't Just If there's an argument about it, it's kind of a whole shit I agree when I hear political poetry, I want to run a mile because I assume it's going to be a rant or Someone's making a point more than writing poetry.  She would have rented billboard But you make you embody you know metaphor and landscape and and the thing is it's a political does move inside of us I mean it does shape us no matter what However, you know, we might want to pretend it doesn't but it does shape who we are and You know, it's been woven into my work forever Yeah It shows up, but you know it's helped to go away I'm curious. I think you mentioned that Started that work in the 1980s, maybe and how long has the the box series Know the woman the box kind of been on your I started. Okay. I look The information about many Mike, you know, I worked at an abortion clinic's women house clinics for years And it wasn't charters in my 40s. So my mother had gone to it a senior's Autobiographical writing workshop or something, you know, and so she came back and she had a letter that was written by one of the classmates To her granddaughters explaining about that she had why she had an abortion. This is an older woman and Mother's move said, oh, here's something you'd like to do and I of course I think she didn't want to be undone and she said well Nettie and Nettie had died of an illegal abortion. I mean, you know, she never told me I've been working, you know I said it for a planned parenthood for years So I was and she said it was in all the papers and I don't know anything about it So I didn't in a library loan search then and I and this was Well, that was after I Would say that was in the 90s.  I mean, you know, the writing was very Victorian And so I thought this baby had done the abortion. So I was writing these long things up in Nettie's voice And you know, this is baby and of course I identified with Mrs. Beatty, although of course Nettie had died but you know, it was a tricky thing and then a few years ago I was visiting some friends and my friend Clyde went out to her She was in Toronto. You don't have internet access at her house. So she was it She went into town and was had it where they can have internet access and she was just she punched it I think I had written read some of my Nettie stuff to her and she punched it and she said she came back Sue I punched Nettie Bope into the internet and it came out with these doctors had in work. There's a big trial So it was one of those things that had been gone on for years of just sort of stewing about the material That's partly what happened with little steel, too. I was doing I was interviewing people I was amassing all these details and then didn't know what to do with it And that's actually how I think it what did I meet you three years ago? I Had was trying to do some I was asking people for advice people people coming right a novel, you know and then I Put it aside and that's when I started doing the box poems like get me away from this project I can't stand it anymore. The box poems were sort of escape us for me You know and then I heard Carol Reed and it was time to come back to the Nettie thing So once I came back to it. It was still I would say Over a year that I put it together, but I had a lot of that stuff was already written But it was a snippets That's right, we have a state reading of the little stuff people could summon. I forget who you played My mother's role in Like to have the actual the machinery is a character And I think it's really interesting because you know if we go up and we do a lecture on you know union and some labor You know, but you can shut out you can disconnect So when you when you tap into the emotion of how it would have felt about that piece of machinery I was if you weren't in that Way for You said they've never heard of anything being about in their story told right now you celebrated all those objects that they'd make I Love the description of all the farm Right My uncle will actually help account you first one time and that you know trying to haul the calf out The description of the two hooves appear Because the cow was having difficulty just to push the calf back I love the way The thing I really loved and this is my own I liked all the anger in it, you know Something needs to be murdered Kill those woodchucks, you know Much have repressed that in my life In poetry, too, yeah, I really thought that was wonderful energy. It's a powerful section No, they have heard people Astonishingly the people I've heard have said things that were like, you know, murderous, you know Give given our recent politics Oh geez Yeah, yeah You really wanted to write that poem about your man the Supreme Court Canada and it was just I was just I would bring it back and I think it was I was reading Jeremiah, you know, it was so bad I mean finally and then I went and I testified at the State House because on my age 57 I you know, there's a belt trying to Make abortion legal and Vermont in case the Supreme Court Wipes out Rovers this way and I find and I heard the people on quote the other side quoting Jeremiah So finally I just I let I got rid of Kavanaugh and I And then I have these these characters at sand and ostrich who are a couple wonderful mineral and bird And they talk about their poet and their word because she's all set about she's reading an Old Testament prophet Oh


Hello everyone, I am Narc Survivor, welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin, please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. Hit subscribe and click all notifications to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you would like to book a one on one coaching session with me, just go to my website, it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. Narcissists are the definition of nothingness. They are the definition of nothingness. There's nothing there. There's nothing inside of them. They are the absence and the cessation of life at existence. They're completely worthless, insignificant and important, pointless and useless. They're non-existent, non- being, non-life, blankness, a void. They are a force that impedes any form of existence. They're a lack of being, an omission, a black hole, a vacuum, an empty world where you will experience the state of no longer being seen, heard or felt because there's just nothing there. And even when it may seem like there is something there, it exists only in your imagination. It has no basis in reality because they are the void of empty space. They view themselves as operating independently with no outside influences and with nothing affecting them as though they don't affect anything else regardless of their actions, even though they do everything in their power to affect the world around them which results in them becoming very controlling. They don't believe that their actions impact the world around them and that is why they're so controlling because they feel powerless and helpless. So they're unable to understand that their actions influence how people see and react to them. They believe that their thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviors, choices and decisions are caused by and controlled by other people and they believe that it's the same process for you which is why they try very hard to influence you and it's why they believe that you're constantly being influenced against them by outside forces or that you're influencing outside forces against them but they don't see that their actions affect other people even though they're constantly claiming that other people's actions affect them because they feel powerless so they constantly seek in power and they see you as having the power to affect them which is why they try to control you because they want you to affect the world on their behalf for their benefit and support because they don't feel effective on their own. If they did then they would go out and do it themselves. Narcissus of the definition of nothingness it's not just that they don't want to take responsibility or that they don't care although that is a part of it it's that they can't even connect their actions to how people see them or react to them they don't even have the ability to do that which is why they will often see it as though you took action against them for no reason because not only do they not take their behavior into consideration they don't acknowledge that it even happened so if you explain to them that your actions are a consequence to their behavior it's just going to confuse them because they don't understand that their behavior influences that way people view and react to them which is why even if you tell them they're not going to believe it and they're not going to care because they lack self-awareness they're disconnected from themselves so they're unable to form a mental image of how they appear to you because their conscious attention is primarily focused on themselves and their thoughts needs desires and emotions so they're not concerned about how their actions affect the external world they're unaware of how they come across to you and they lack empathy so they're unable to understand your perceptions of them but they will try to come across as intelligent confident and self-assured even though to you it may seem as though they're just causing problems worry and even embarrassment and lacking grace skill and ease in their performance to where it may make them look less than ideal but they won't recognize that until you point it out to them because they lack self-awareness so they don't know or even care about how their behavior affects other people and even if they did it wouldn't make much difference because they have an inability to even see it in the first place so they're just mindlessly doing things without an intentional objective and because they lack self-awareness and they're disconnected from themselves they don't believe that there should be any consequences for their actions because they may not even understand that their actions create the consequences even though sometimes they may say that they do they can't grasp the concept of cause and effect they don't understand that there is a direct relationship between an action or event at its consequences and results so they don't believe that they should have to do anything that they don't want to do or anything that makes them uncomfortable which is exactly what consequences are and they can't deal with any form of criticism because it triggers their shame so they would immediately deflect the shame onto you because it's too painful for them to deal with and the discomfort they feel will take precedence over anything they may have done to you but they're not feeling discomfort because they hurt you they're feeling shamed because they feel exposed because they've done something people might disapprove of or something that might cause people to view them in a negative way because they experience themselves through the perceptions of other people so if a person has a negative perception of them the experience of themselves through that person will be negative and then they will feel angry or upset and they will blame the other person because they see us as a reflection of themselves and because they don't have any separate independent perceptions or experiences of themselves they can only deal with these things externally by influencing our perceptions of them or by forcing us to see what they want to see but even then it's not even about what we see because we're just mirrors reflecting back to them what they want to see it actually has nothing to do with what we see we're not important at all what is important is what they see through our perceptions of them because they're only concerned about themselves their conscious attention is directed on themselves and their thoughts needs desires and emotions you don't even cross their mind as a separate person they only see themselves so even when they're doing hurtful things to you with the intention of affecting you it's still all about them it's so that they can experience feelings of reaction to what they're doing to you but sometimes they do things because they don't even see how it will affect you because they're only focused on the feeling it will give them so they have no capacity to even consider anyone else which means that it really has nothing to do with it be intentional or unintentional because in their minds they are the only thing that exists which makes them very dangerous because they're completely absorbed in themselves and all of their thoughts and actions are based on regulating themselves through other people because their daily life experiences are too difficult and painful for them to deal with but just because they did something to you it doesn't mean it was personal or that it had anything to do with you because the truth is they don't even see you they're not even aware of your separate existence so you are nothing more than a tool which they use to make themselves feel better because they can only see themselves which means that they can only consider themselves because they can't see anything else and there is nothing you can do to help or change them because no matter what they will continue to work against you and they will continue to work against themselves thank you for watching if you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up share your thoughts in the comment section hit subscribe to receive their applications if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash NARC survivor you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it's NARC survivor.co.uk thank you for watching and I will talk to you soon


Okay, welcome back everyone. We will continue the end of Acts chapter 2. I'm looking at the chat here and Elisha has asked, does verse 38 subset that without baptism one cannot be saved? Okay, so Elisha, I think we've talked about this earlier. Though it sounds like that in this passage, we know that that is not what that wouldn't be right to say because nowhere else we see people being asked to be baptized in order to be saved. But people are told to believe in the Lord Jesus, confess that He is Lord and that is how they are saved. But as an act of their public proclamation of their faith, they are asked to be baptized in water. So even later, we'll see that the apostles are sent to places where people put their faith in Jesus and then you know what a baptism happens. Okay, so based on verse 38, we should not look at water baptism as a requirement for salvation. Water baptism is not a requirement, but it's an act of obedience after salvation. Okay, I hope it answers your question, Elisha. Okay, thank you. Thank you. Yes, Christopher, I see your hand raised. Christopher, I can't hear you. Yes, I can hear you now. Yes. Yeah, no, I'm just referring to verse 44. Now, all who believe were together and had all things in common and sold their positions and goods and divided them among them, among all, as anyone at need. We just wanted to understand, are you aware of any churches that operate like this? I mean, how has it worked?  What actually comes to mind also is that maybe in the current time, you know, churches that operate like this would be considered like a cult that is working with people to give up everything.  So I just wanted to understand your view on this. Okay, so your question is, do I know any churches like this? What I would say is though it's not like a typical culture of church, I do know that there are occasions when believers do things like this. And I know personally, I know of times when some believers have had a need and I know of a certain believer who in fact sold what they had to give the others. So I think based on the situation and circumstance, this still happens. But it's not taken as a general rule because later on, you know, you would see the apostles. In fact, Paul the apostle, he writes later about everyone needing to work in order to sustain themselves.  And that's the life example that Paul gave also because he was a tent maker himself. So what is enormous to be able to take care of yourself? And apostle Paul also says that one must be able to take care of his immediate family.  So sustaining oneself, sustaining your immediate family, it's a responsible thing to do. But in the case of, you know, an untoward incident taking place or some calamity or some distress, there is or this is applicable, you know, people sharing so selflessly with one another. I do know that it happens in churches, but it is more, it's not, how do I put it? It's not like the culture that you can observe, but it happens, right? Like quietly people do it without making a big noise. Does that answer your question, Christopher? Yes, in a way. So basically you think that it's at an individual level or, you know, maybe a group within a church. Where I'm coming from is really the church, you know, dictating this or not dictating, it's not probably not the right word to use. But, you know, making this as a sort of a foundational kind of approach to, you know, to share within the community or to believers in that particular church. Okay. So, Christopher, see the thing is if we make it a rule or if we make it mandatory that people have to even sell their own possessions to give into other people's lives, it can be dangerous. Because one is we're imposing it on everyone. So, when need arises, if, you know, it warrants for someone to sell and give, well and good. But otherwise, what I feel is happening these days is the church of Jerusalem, we'll see later, even next at the three, we'll see it was not well to do. It was, if you want to call it poor. So, they had to sell in order to give. But these days, when we want to give, we may not need to sell. We can give off what we have. You know what I mean? So, that also is actually happening. People give from what they have. So, you don't have to go to the extent of selling. Okay, great. Yes, thank you. Yes, Charles, you have a question. Yes, thank you so much, Pastor, for the opportunity. I am continuing with Elisha's question about water baptism. When you read from the book of John chapter three, verse five, Jesus answered, Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. And now you said that the water baptism is not a requirement. So, what was Jesus meaning with water and spirit to see the kingdom of God? Thank you. Okay, thank you, Charles. So, see Charles, we have to interpret scripture based on scripture. Okay, so here verse 38, it appears as if water baptism is a prerequisite or a requirement for salvation. But we know from other clear passages in scripture that when one believes in their heart and confesses to Lord Jesus, they are saved. It's a work of the spirit. But we affirm that work through our act of obedience, which is water baptism. Now, coming back to John chapter three and verse five, where Jesus says that one should be born of water and of the spirit. See, what he was talking about was two births. One is the natural birth, the other is the spiritual birth. So, waters of birth is how we refer to those of us who know how exactly birth takes place, the water breaks and the child comes out. So, those are the waters that John is talking about. So, he says one should be born of water is the water of birth. It's not the water of baptism, John's baptism at that time. That's not what he's referring to at all. And in fact, yeah, anyway, I'll leave it at that. So, it simply means the waters of birth, which is your first birth, and then you have to be born of the spirit, which is your second spiritual birth or being born again. So, does that help Charles? Okay, I didn't hear you, but I saw your mic unmuted. So, yes, Shri Kumar, please go ahead. Thank you, Pastor. I just want to, you know, it's connected with Brother Christopher's question. So, maybe I just fell to something as he was asking that, you know, Jesus said this thing that you should take, you know, in the Luke chapter 2235, that, you know, he says that he gives this instruction to the disciples not to take the post and other thing. But even in the, if you read, you know, 35 and 36, it was as you said, it's like nowadays we are not, you know, we are not supposed to sell the things, and I agree with that. And when Jesus said those things, here it very clearly says that in the 35th word, Luke 2235, and he said unto them, when I sent you without purse and the script and the shoes, let you anything. And they said nothing. And then 36 words he says, and then he said unto them, but now he had purse, let him take it. And likewise the script and he had no sword, let him sell his garments and buy one. So it means that it was on occasion to occasion when God actually led the people and it cannot be a doctrine. I just wanted to say that. Thank you. Yeah, sure. Thank you. So that added more clarity to the discussion. So yes, we must not make this doctrine and mandatory and say, you know, if the church is not this generous that people go to the extent of selling their positions and goods, you're not a giving church. That's not true. And moreover, this concept of giving to other believers can be abused. Sorry to put it very plainly, it can be. So we must not make it mandatory. But yes, of course, we will promote a culture of sharing and loving and upholding one another. And as and when required, if something like this needs to be done for people to even sell their own things and give to others, it can be done under the guidance of the leadership. Okay. All right. Oh, okay. Yes, sister. You have a question. Srupa. Ma'am, shall I add points to what has been asked first thing about this community which started sharing all that they had, they sold and kept it the Apostle's Feet. Nobody has asked them to do that. It was initiated by the Spirit of God in their hearts and they obeyed the Spirit's guidance. You never see any Apostle saying, please sell everything and bring them and put them at our feet. That is the first point I wanted to say. Okay. And the other thing, even now, there are certain communities in the world which live by this principle, acts to principle, and it is working out. And also, as believers, we have to love the people more than the whatever material things God has given us. Sometimes God may test us by asking us, no one can, Paul has clearly told in Corinthians, please, no one should give because somebody is forcing them. But they should give with their complete heart. And David also says, this heart is given by God. It is not something we put on. This is a heart which we give completely unto the Lord, which is given by the Lord. It's a great blessing. So I just wanted to add, nobody has forced them to sell their positions and give out of the love of God when they saw the people, the body of Christ in pain, in need.  They were all happy. Thank you. I just wanted to add. Yeah, thank you. Thank you so much, Mrs. Rupa. Makes complete sense. So it was voluntary. And of course, it was temporary, what we saw here. And praise God that the love of Christ was seen in what the Holy Spirit was doing in that community at this time. And we recognize that. So, yes, we will. Kennedy has something to share. Kennedy, yes, please. Just to add up on that, my dear sister Rupa said, I think they did it out of compassion. David Christ was very compassionate with us. So if there's a demonstration of how they hold their lives for being transformed. Thank you. Yeah. So true. They did it out of compassion. They did it because their lives were transformed. That also goes to show us the power of the gospel, how the gospel changed the people to such an extent that they were willing to love and give selflessly and to such a great amount that they were willing to give to one another. So yes, so very beautiful, isn't it? So we see the birth of the church. We see the empowering of the Holy Spirit. We see the boldness through the Holy Spirit. We see the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. We also see the manifestation of the spirit in the community. So there is unity. There is commitment to the word of God. There is commitment to the remembrance of what the Lord Jesus did. There is commitment to prayer. There is commitment. There is also the manifestation of the supernatural. There is a good reputation that the believers have among all the people. The believers are honored. The apostles are honored. It is only possible as a work of God. And it is very evident on the day of Pentecost. It is very evident in the first believing community. So verse 46 it says, So continuing daily with one God, again, unity. There is unity among the people. How often did they meet? Now again, these are all questions which people ask and they want to impose the same pattern on our communities today. It may work. It may not work. We have to really tailor the way we plan for our believing community or church as per our times. So here daily they met. It says continuing daily. So they met daily and it says one God in the temple. So they had a heart of unity. But even in practice as a gathering they met daily. They met in the temple and breaking bread from house to house. So they practiced communion in their small groups. If you want to call it their house groups. And they ate their food with gladness and simplicity of heart. So such was their coming together.  And the Lord added to the church daily those who were being saved. So since then, since the time of the day of Pentecost, every day these people are practicing their faith. They are standing strong in their faith. And what happens when believers are like this daily new people are being added. So it's a glorious time. We would desire to be in a time like this where every day people are being saved through the gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. So Sister Rupa, I can see your hand raised. Is this the previous comment or do you have something new to share? I forgot but one point I would like to add. Every day they used to gather and that way most of them there are proselytes coming from different parts of the world during Pentecost. It is somewhere I have read and they were all through this first church by meeting together every day. They were nurtured and discipled before they went back into their own countries. So I just wanted to add that man, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for that. So that's also powerful that people who were saved were discipled. They were equipped to go out and do God's work in their time. So we don't read about people going out but that's a fact. So those who came in and who were saved some of them went back to their places but some of them stayed on. And that's how that's what we refer to as the church of Jerusalem. So there was a gathering in Jerusalem that continued and that became the representatives of God in that city. So far we have seen the birth of the church. We've seen the birth of a loving and a powerful community. Now let's move on to Acts chapter 3 and see what is happening over here. Okay, are you all with me so far? It's going okay? Yes. Okay, nice. Sony, one person is fine with... Okay, all right. Yeah, I have some more responses here. Asha, Kong. Okay, all right. Christopher, Pratik, Abhishek. Thank you so much. Okay, good that you are in sync. So Acts chapter 3 says, now Peter and John went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. Okay, so what does this tell us? This tells us that the apostles continued in their Jewish traditions, some of their traditions, the good ones. What are some of the good ones? Prayer. Even Jesus had his times of prayer. So the Jews had certain periods of the day and they would go to the temple and worship. So that's what Peter and John are doing here. Peter and John are apostles. So you will also begin to see the leadership in the church kind of evolve. So we only heard Peter's name in Acts chapter 2, even in Acts chapter 1. End of that passage, it was Peter. Now it is Peter and John. Okay, Peter and John, they went up together to the temple at the hour of prayer, the ninth hour. So, you know, somewhere around afternoon time like 3 p.m. is when they had gone there. And a certain man, lame from his mother's womb was carried whom they laid daily at the gate of the temple, which is called Beautiful. Okay, so here was a person. What is the description of this person? He was lame from birth. So it says, lame from his mother's womb. Because he was lame, he was carried and he was laid how often? Daily at the gate of the temple, which is called as Beautiful. Okay, let me quickly show you a picture. Yes, come. My mistake. Okay. All right, showing you not quickly though. This is some navigation issues there. But I hope you can see this. Are you able to see a class? Okay, nice. So yeah, here you are. You can observe. So this is the temple and they go into the temple. And there are different sections of the temple here. This is on the temple mount. And a particular gate is called as the Gate Beautiful. And this is where, you know, you would have people begging for arms seated. The next section here is called as Solomon's porch. So during prayer times, you would have this entire space. You know, it will be filled with lots of people coming in for their routine prayer. Okay, so this is how it is. So you have the beautiful gate, beautiful. And then you have Solomon's porch over here. So why is this place termed as Gate Beautiful? Okay, so it was obviously a huge gate. It had some incredible artwork on it. They had put some silver and gold and made it a grand gate. So that is the reason it's known as the Gate Beautiful or the Beautiful Gate because it had nice art on it and silver and gold sort of covering the surface. So at this gate, obviously people would notice beggars sitting there as they went for worship. So along with the beggars, other beggars, is there this lame person who is lame from his birth? Okay, then what happens next? So called Beautiful to ask arms from those who entered the temple. So this was his regular practice. And Jews being generous as they were and going by their culture, they would give something to these beggars. Verse 3, who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for arms. So he saw these two men. He had no idea who Peter is, who John is. He just thought, okay, two men are going, let me ask them for help. So what kind of help will a beggar need? He is not able to work for himself. So his minimal expectation would be some money. His minimal expectation would be some food. That will help me sustain myself. So that's all he was looking for. If he got anything more than that, he would have been blessed. So with that expectation, he reached out to Peter and John. So he, okay, where are we? Verse 3, who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked for arms. Verse 4, and fixing his eyes on him with John Peter said, so now the beggar is asking and both John and Peter are looking at the beggar. They're giving the beggar the attention and they ask for his attention. So in verse 4, they say, look at us. So now what will happen to a beggar, a poor beggar? His expectation will rise. Why are these people asking me to look at them? Maybe they want to give me more money or maybe they want to invite me home. Maybe there is something more that is coming my way. So his expectation rises. And verse 5, so he gave them his attention. So the beggar looks back at Peter and John, expecting to receive something from them. Then Peter said, silver and gold I do not have, but what I do have, I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. So the first part of what Peter says is quite disappointing because that's the expectation of the beggar to get some money. At least, and Peter says, silver and gold I don't have. And as I told you, the early church as an organization, as an institution, they were not rich. They were probably a few weeks into the life of the church and they don't have big resources. So compare them to the established Jewish society there and the Jewish religion and what they possessed. Peter and John as a community had nothing. So they were honest with the beggar. They say, look, we are at Gate Beautiful. You see all the gold and silver, but this is the reality. Silver and gold I don't have. But what I do have, I give you what they had was actually better than these earthly resources. And that was the power and the authority of the name of Jesus, which they carried and they used it. So what do they say? They say in the, or Peter says, in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk. He gave of that authority. He gave of that faith in the name of Jesus and he commands this man to rise up and walk. Now think together with me. This man has not walked since birth. How can someone have the courage to say in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, rise up and walk by the Holy Spirit. And also, you know, when we read about the gifts of the Spirit, there is something, one of the gifts, it's the gift of faith. So we see there that unusual faith arises in us by the Holy Spirit when we can expect God to do things that cannot be done otherwise. So that gift of faith was operational in Peter, no wonder. He talks to a man like this and he tells him in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth. See the boldness again, introducing the exact person who was controversial up until that point.  And he makes it more specific of Nazareth in the name of this person because he's the Messiah, rise up and walk. So he issues a command in the name of Jesus, verse seven. And then what does he do? He's continuing to operate in that gift of faith, verse seven. And he took him by the hand and lifted him up and immediately his feet and ankles, ankle bones receive strength. Wow, that's a miracle. Peter just gave some support and scriptures tell us immediately his feet, his ankle bones receive strength. So he leaping up and stood and walked and entered the temple with them walking, leaping and praising God. Wow, that is amazing. Somebody who has, who was carried, you know, at that point to sit at the gate is now what he is leaping. He stood up, he walked, entered the temple with them. Again, it says walking, leaping and praising God. So a supernatural work of God was done in the sight of all the people, verse nine and all the people saw him walking and praising God. Wow, it would have been, you know, unbelievable for them to see this man and it says daily. So these people must have seen him for weeks, if not, you know, they probably would have even seen him for months or years. And here he is finally walking and praising God. So a great work of wonder was done in the midst of the people on that day through Peter and John, verse 10. Then they knew that it was he who sat begging arms at the beautiful gate of the temple and they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. Now we, I know that your batch has completed that course called the keys to supernatural ministry. And why is the supernatural important? You see here, one is it expressed the compassion of God for that lame man. But at the same time, what's happening? It draws the attention of the people. So the people saw him walking and praising God. And then what, you know, they were filled with wonder and amazement at what had happened to him. And so they were interested in this God and what he can do. So let me just come back here and look at the chat. Okay, so Elasha says there is a need power in the name of Jesus. Say, is that a comment or a question that you have? An observation or more like a comment. Should I wait or? Sure, sure. Please go ahead. Please go ahead. I just, I just, I just wanted to comment based on what you said. So that I think it's something that we should not miss. Because in the church circle, somehow, somehow people have just used Peter's statement as a justification for remaining broke or just encouraging poverty, you know. And I like the context you brought in. They had left fishing, church has just started, you know, they weren't doing anything much. So they didn't have much per se, you know. So when he was saying it, it wasn't saying it as a justification that, oh, as Christians, we can't have, we can't have money. We can't have savings, you know, and all that. It was just basically because at that moment, you know, they were not just really financially buoyant at that moment. So it wasn't a justification that, oh, you can be highly anointed, and you don't need to have material wealth and all that, you know, and all that, and all that. So I think it's a very good observation you just brought up. And I just wanted to buttress that again. Thank you. Thank you so much. Yes. Thank you. Thanks. Thank you say glad that you observed that. And, you know, it is said that the statement Peter made was a good statement when he said, silver and gold, I do not have but what I have I give you in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and work. Now, what if he said silver and gold I have, but I don't have anything else to give you. And he couldn't demonstrate the power of God. Right. So, having well, not having well, you know, that is one part of it. And as you rightly pointed out, we are, we need to be good stewards of the resources that God gives us. And even as a community or a church family, we can, you know, grow in these things and develop ourselves. That would be good. That would be ideal. But the other side of it is we have to grow in the anointing and the power of God. And we should always be able to tell people who come to us in the name of what I do have. I do have the authority. I do have the anointing. And in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth rise up and walk. You know, that second part should never be taken away from the church. If we are a church who cannot say that and we have silver and gold doesn't make any sense. There's no meaning to a church like that. That has the resources, but does not is not able to exercise its authority in the name of Jesus. Okay, so just adding to our discussion here and Elisha says in verse seven Peter helped the lame man to rise any lesson in that for us. Okay, so the lesson is when the gift of faith takes over, we do as we are led by the Holy Spirit. Can I imitate what Peter did? Can I go and help a person who has never walked, help him rise up and say, you try to walk now? Well, nothing wrong with it. But let me, it's important for me to be led by the Holy Spirit. You know, I cannot copy these styles of ministering as a formula. It will never work. Sometimes, even in the ministry of Jesus, we see he spoke a word and people were healed. He said stretch out your hand. The leper was healed. He went and touched somebody. They were healed. He rebuked the fever. The fever left. So he was doing different things as led by the Holy Spirit. So there is no formula, Elisha. So though we observe Peter helping the lame man rise up, yeah, it's just the way Peter did it. So I can't say that we can follow what Peter did every time. On this, we are led by the Holy Spirit. Okay, so I hope that answers your question. Christopher, please go ahead. You have something to say. Yeah, just two observations.  Again, I think I'm not, I mean, I'm not trying to point out something that possibly is obvious, but there are nomination churches that are that take a vow of poverty. That means they don't earn any money for any services they provide, they provide, or even, you know, they, they're not, they should not be taking any money, you know, in the case of someone. Now, a relative of theirs who was, you know, build some money to them, they will not, they will not take that money. But on the other hand, there are churches, obviously, the nomination churches that are, that over the years are rich and able to, you know, you know, sustain and take care of the, of the, of the, of the priests in that ministry, or in that church. So, I mean, this is just an observation, maybe, you know, that maybe beyond that. The other point is actually with regards to the miracles that were performed by the apostles and even later, where I'm not sure about this, but I don't know, I don't think that they even, you know, spoke to the people who had, who they had healed, to tell them that they should not, you know, talk about it.  So I just wanted to get your view on, on that part, on, you know, the difference in, in, in how this was communicated, what this was minister, not minister, but how this was actually done, you know, during Jesus, by Jesus and subsequently after, after, afterwards by the apostles and later. Sure, sure. Sure, Christopher. Yes. So your first observation about the vow of poverty, we don't see any such vow in scripture. We do know that, you know, there were occasions when Jesus said, okay, don't take a lot with you, you just go with what you have.  So that, that was not the point that Jesus was making. It was about depending on him in that particular scenario. So this vow of poverty for an entire lifetime, I mean, I don't know, I don't see any basis in scripture for it. But if people are led to do something like that, it's their own call. And yes, of course, you know, the, when people do take such a call, they sometimes are part of institutions that can sustain them, right? So technically, they're not receiving an income for their services, but they still have the bare minimum taken care of by an organization or something organization. So yeah, we, we observe all this around us. And yeah, I don't know what we can take from it. But yeah, there is no scriptural basis to that, as far as I'm concerned, of poverty. Okay. The next thing that you said is Christopher, could you please come again? You said miracles. No, I would just say that Jesus. Oh yeah, I remember. Yes, thank you. So in the case of Jesus, there was, you know, something often uprising, starting off where people were already opposing him, questioning him, the Pharisees, the Sadducees, they were greatly troubled by Jesus and his ministry. So Jesus was just trying to be wise and not, you know, create more trouble for himself, which is why quite often he used to tell the people, okay, keep it to yourself. Just go report it to, you know, the temple priest, but don't go and spread the word because it would become very difficult for him to minister in that space. So that was his intention. However, when we look at, you know, something like Peter and John ministering to the layman here, they're not worried about, you know, being caught and all of that. So the context is different in that sense. Is that okay, Christopher? Yes, I mean, I think, I mean, it may not be there in the Bible, but there may be times I think that possibly even, you know, the apostles, you know, did the same thing because I mean, the uprising and the sort of protest that were there during the time when the apostles actually performed these miracles. I think it was also there, you know, I mean, they were threatened, they were put in jail and so again, I just wanted to get something glad to be on. Sure. See, another reason why I compared it in that way is you will see later coming up in Acts chapter four, when these people are threatened, they actually pray and ask God to help them do more in the name of Jesus, let more miracles take place, let more signs and wonders take place. So, you know, you somehow see them going very boldly and continuing the works of God as opposed to, yes, Jesus was also doing it, but he did instruct people not to go and spread the word just to, you could say delay what was to happen to him, you know, as a trial and all that. So, anyway, we'll leave that discussion there. I'll come to Kennedy. Yes, Kennedy. Thank you. Thank you for giving me this chance again. Well, what I'm going to ask, how would you compare this beggar in the case of Peter and John in relation to these people who preach prosperity gospel? Okay. How would I, how would I compare? Yeah, these people who preach prosperity gospel. See, how would I compare is that whenever we use the term prosperity gospel, we call it prosperity gospel because it's kind of extreme. It does the word of God say he will bless us, he will bless us financially, he'll prosper us. Yes, he does. Okay, so being blessed is part of the gospel, but when it is taken to an extreme, that is prosperity gospel. So, one thing that we can say from what Peter and John did is, yes, even if you don't have resources, when you walk by faith in God, mighty things can be accomplished for the kingdom of God. So, in that sense, you know, it is different from the prosperity gospel because the prosperity gospel would say, no, you need to have.  But whether or not you're rich, you can still flow in the anointing and in faith. That's what Peter and John are teaching us through their example. Okay, so I hope that would answer your question. Kennedy, does it make sense? Yes, no, yes, no, yes. Okay, alright, so maybe I just initiated the answer and, you know, because that's the way your brother said, they used that one to people to be poor, you know, as church leaders they're supposed to be poor. But when you hear the prosperity gospel, you can claim anything by faith and get it. It does it contradicts you. Yeah, so both are extremes, no Kennedy, that's what I'm saying. There is a balance in God's word. So prosperity gospel, I don't know if there's a term called poverty gospel, but, you know, both are extremes, poverty gospel, prosperity gospel. We are in between. We have the balance of, you know, living a responsible life, being accountable, being good stewards and being blessed, being prosperous. So we'll stop here and we'll continue in the next class. Let me just pray and close for today. Heavenly Father, we thank and praise you for Lord, your presence with us and Lord, thank you Lord for giving us the understanding today Lord, as we went over the book of Acts. Father, we pray that you will continue to strengthen us. Lord and help us learn many things that we would can live for you Lord the way people lived in the Acts of the Apostles Father God. Thank you once again Lord for this time in Jesus name we pray. Amen. Thank you everybody and bye for now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. We'll connect in the next class. Thank you. Bye.


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Item number SCP-1970 Object Class Save Special Container Procedures Item is located at Storage Site-23, Room 3. Although SCP-1970 requires minimal security, it must be isolated from other anomalous objects. Item is to be under constant audio supervision for the purpose of recording its vocalizations, and the items should be visually inspected at least two times daily. Objects classified as SCP-1970-1, 1970-2, and 1970-3 are to be kept in sealed plastic bags in separately locked containers within Room 3. Description SCP-1970 is a television set similar to a Zenith model L092Y. Examples on its back indicate that the device was manufactured in 1979. However, the piece was recovered in 1972 from Russell Fowth of Yonkers, New York, who had owned the device for at least four years, according to recovered journals and letters. SCP-1970 was able to function as a normal analog television and can still receive analog signals, although it is no longer capable of displaying an image, following Test 1970-AE-34. Conducted on March 1, 2009, Test AE-34 required the opening of SCP-1970's outer casing, which produced distressed vocalizations from members of SCP-1970-1, 2, and 3, all of whom appeared to asphyxiate shortly afterwards. Their remains are now stored separately from the item. No mechanical moving parts were discovered within the casing, and the test was aborted before the separately enclosed speaker casing was opened. SCP-1970 does not require any power source, and will begin functioning as soon as it is switched on. When turned on, an internal light would eliminate a tightly packed group of thousands of humanoid figures pressed against a screen, ranging from 1 to 1.5 milliliters in height. The skin color of the humanoids were distinctly blue, red, or green, and they were capable of rapid movement, climbing across each other, or disappearing deeper into the item, or the purpose of displaying whatever broadcast image SCP-1970 was tuned to receive. A fourth group of white and gray-skinned humanoids can occasionally be observed within the speaker housing, and their vocalizations mimic the audio broadcast. The number of designations of these humanoids are as follows. SCP-1970-1, Red, Population-1982, SCP-1970-2, Green, Population-3946, SCP-1970-3, Blue, Population-1979, SCP-1970-4, White to Gray, Population Unknown. The humanoids exhibit individual features and sexual characteristics similar to human beings, but no infant or young examples were recovered after Test AE-34. When SCP-1970 was not in operation, it was possible to hear movement within the casing, as well as occasional whispers and breathing noises, including snoring. Following Test AE-34, breathing can still be heard from within the speakers, and an audio broadcast will still be produced if the item is exposed to a proper analog signal. When not in use, SCP-1970-4 will often call out in Taiwanese in an attempt to communicate with the other population groups of SCP-1970, or to vocalize distress at the lack of ambient analog television signals. Addendum, Russell Fowth was a diagnosed schizophrenic and committed suicide in 1972. Although research was exposure to SCP-1970 indicates that his condition was neither triggered nor directly worsened by SCP-1970's acknowledged properties, however, due to his condition he was living alone and unable to convince any family members or caretakers that his television set was quote, filled with tiny writhing men, unquote.