This is your first speaker as well as your host for the convention this year. He'll be the guy introducing all the speakers, managing the breaks, everything like that. Your go-to number one guy, the showman. His name's Robbie Kramer. He is a returning speaker to the 21 convention. It is his first time hosting. And I think in explaining very briefly why I chose him as a host, it'll also introduce him as a speaker. That makes sense. He is a very good, he's first and foremost the world's number one confidence coach. That's what I call him. I believe that's true. And he definitely proved that last year at the 21 convention in Florida. But in addition to that, why I chose him as a host is not only because he's a great coach. He's had a lot of success in his own life, et cetera. He's also a very good representation of what I think someone can achieve by attending the 21 convention, even though he achieved that on his own before he ever found out about the convention before he spoke. He's a good role model. He is very in tune with my thoughts with where the convention's been, where it's at now and where it's going. And he's in my opinion, hence he's here as a host. He's the best host we could have because he is such a good representation and a role model and almost like an archetype of what someone can really achieve in their own life by attending this convention and applying what they learn through the videos, interaction and so on. So that further do represent to you guys Robbie Kramer, your host speaker and host of the convention. Thanks, Robbie. Thanks, guys. Thanks for being up early, as Anthony said. I'm really excited to speak this year. Last year in Orlando was my first time speaking and I made the trip out to London. I'm also speaking in Austin and maybe even Australia if I can swing it. So I'm really excited to be here, like I said. And I've got a cool talk planned for you guys. It's entitled, if I was in better shape I'd be more confident and you'll see an interesting slide in a few minutes about how I used to not be in very good shape. If anyone saw the video last year, you may not recognize me because I've looked a little bit different, we'll say. So do that thing you know you need to do the most and get more of everything, including sex. Last year I spoke about dating and this year I've had so many interesting things happen in my life that I've really expanded what I coach people on, who I work with. And so I'm talking about three things this year. And it's really the big three, who's interested in health, wealth and relationships. Hopefully everybody, right? And I feel like if you have all three of those components in your life, just handled or at least to a level that makes you feel good, you're gonna be overall very happy. And for me, that's what I'm looking for. I'm looking for general overall happiness and just freedom, fun, living a fun life. And if any one of these three areas is lacking, you're going to feel discomfort. You're gonna feel a lack of confidence. So I'm gonna share three different stories from my own life today and there's a general theme I want you guys to listen for and I'll point it out at the end. But what I really believe is how you do anything is how you do everything. I learned that from a mentor a few years back and I really believe it to be true. So if you can accomplish anything in one area of your life, if you can become the world's best, Nintendo duck hunt shooter, you can use that same skill you became good at duck hunt to be awesome with women, to make a lot of money, to have an amazing body. So it's the same sort of process and that's really what I found is if you can look at what you've done well and replicate that in each and every area, you can just pretty much crush it in anything you want to achieve.  This was before I was a life coach. This was probably seven years ago and he was this long hippie looking, long hair hippie looking dude. Wasn't very good at golf and it didn't really seem like he had a job. He was just one of these people who was blown in the wind and I was like, I'll never be a life coach. It's losers. Now I'm happy to say I'm a life coach but what I really mean by life coach is I'm a lifestyle coach. I don't coach anyone on how to live their life.  I'm not gonna provide any value there but I can help you change your lifestyle in a certain area and I believe if you change your lifestyle in an area you'll have a complete transformation.  It's also for you if you wanna know the exact steps to become a champion or pretty much anything you wanna do. Doesn't matter what. And if you wanna stop procrastinating and allowing fear to stop you from getting what you want in life and really that's the big thing, fear. If it wasn't for fear, what would you be doing? Ask yourself that. It's really the main question. So today you'll learn the reason why the typical person fails and then quits. It's okay to fail, it's good to fail but if you fail and fail and fail and then you quit that's it. So quitting and how to avoid that. How to get into action and keep yourself motivated. The secret to turning a habit into a lifestyle. How to easily and painlessly face your biggest fears and what it takes to transform any area of your life and how it can be easy even if everyone's telling you it can't be done, it's impossible, don't waste your time. There's a gazillion other people doing it. When I started my business as a dating coach there were so many other dating coaches and everyone told me, the market's saturated, you can't do that, you won't make any money. You know, who are you to do that? And if I were to listen to them I'd still be working in finance and hating my job. So I'm glad I didn't. So my promise to you, I'm gonna teach you guys as much as I can in the time we have and at the end I'll promise to show you how you can get more from me. And we're gonna do a Q and A. So hold all your questions and if anything comes up during the speech just write them down and we'll have plenty of time to go through those in the end. So, that's yours truly. This was me last year speaking at the event. Literally, you know, last July. So first we're gonna talk about health. And when I lost weight I kind of inspired a bunch of my friends to also lose weight and a bunch of my clients. I was working with guys in the dating niche and they saw me make this transformation and they said, well, I want that too. Can you help me? So here's a few examples of some of the other guys I've helped. So this is a friend of mine. These pictures aren't the typical Photoshopped ones you'll see in magazines. You know, there's a funny thing that I've heard about before and after photos is a lot of the time they'll take guys who are already ripped and they'll pay them to get fat. That way they'll take the before picture when they're ripped and then the after is when they're fat. So these may not look as good but at least you know they're legit. Here's another guy. So he was pretty chubby as well. And here is the last dude. So for me, my biggest insecurity and fear was that I'll never have the body I really want and until that happens, I will never be confident. I told myself this day in and day out from the age of 12 until 29 and a half. So the majority of my life, you know, almost 20 years I would tell myself this probably 10 to 50 times a day. Every time I walked past a mirror, every time I looked at a picture, every time I saw a beautiful woman, I would tell myself, you're too fat, she's probably not interested. And as you guys could see from the picture I wasn't huge, I was 50 pounds heavier than I am now. But in my head, it was such a huge deal to me. And I'm pretty sure that if you guys all just think to yourself, there's maybe one thing in your life that you tell yourself, if I could just get over this one thing, my life would be radically different.  So it may be something to do with health, it may be something to do with money, if I had more money then I'd be confident. If I knew what to say when I approached a woman then I'd be confident. So we all have this internal dialogue.  Now like I said, I had been coaching guys on how to improve their dating lives for almost six years before I lost the weight. And I got to a point where I was very good with women. But in the background I still had this big issue with my confidence.  So it's funny, I joke to my clients. I say, everything I've learned up until this point in my own personal experience was not necessary. I learned all the pickup lines, all the routines, all the crazy stuff to be like this master PUA. But I knew beforehand, if I go back in my mind, I knew that if I had just lost weight, it would have taken care of most of the confidence issues.  And I did everything I could to avoid it. So for example, I looked for good advice everywhere. And I found a lot of good advice. I found a lot of bad advice on dieting. And I tried just about every diet you can try. I remember when I was like 15, I tried the Atkins diet. And I didn't even know what I was doing. I just noticed my neighbor lost like 40 pounds. And I didn't even read the book. But I was like, well, I heard you just ate meat and cheese. That's probably not even correct, but I would just eat meat and cheese. So I, you know, Philly cheesesteaks for every meal, just no bread.  And here's the thing about diets, they all work if you stick to them. But I would go about two weeks on the diet and I'd lose a few pounds. And I wouldn't be satisfied with my results. I'd be like, I should be thin by now. And I wasn't. So what did I do? I said, this isn't working. I quit the diet. Only to start again later. And that process went on and on and on for years until I started listening to that voice in my head. I'm gonna be talking about that voice in my head, listen to the voice in your head as well. The voice in my head told me from the age of 13, when I saw a movie, I think the movie was Castaway, who's seen Castaway with Tom Hanks. He got really thin for that role, like stick thin because he had to play the part of a survivor on an island. And before that, he was just in normal shape. And I remember thinking to myself, you know, if I was an actor and I was forced to be in shape, I could do it, no problem. It was this, you know, bigger thing I could work towards. If I was forced to be in shape, it'd be easy to lose weight. But I figured I'm not, so, oh well. And it wasn't until last September when I finally put that own advice into practice. So what I did was I told my buddy that if I don't lose X amount of weight starting from September 1st to December 15th, that I'll pay him a lot of money in the high thousands of dollars mark. And I didn't have, you know, that was a lot of money to risk.  It was like either, you know, lose the weight or be financially crushed. And at that point, something shifted in my mind. I was like, this is easy. There's no way it's impossible that I'm not going to lose the weight. And losing the weight from then on was the easiest thing in the world because I had this bigger game I was playing. I had this motivation outside of myself to go for. And I dropped 50 pounds in 100 days. The what did I do? Like as far as the diet went, I just did a combination of what everyone said. Eight less food, eight less bread, eight less sugar, eight less salt and worked out. Played ice hockey, hit the gym four days a week. Did I do it the most efficient way? Definitely not. Am I in the best shape in this room? Hell no. There's a lot more people in here that are way more qualified to be talking about health and fitness than me. So I'm not talking about health and fitness. I'm talking about motivation on how to get yourself to stick to it. So that's what I call the all in moment. When I made that bet, I was all in. For you poker players in the room and watching this at home, you know what that means. It's like all your chips are on the table.  There's no way to get out of it at that point. And that was vital to my success. That changed everything. And what happened after that all in moment was I knew I had to change my lifestyle. And it takes 21 days, the experts say, to create a new habit. That's three weeks. And if you do something every day for three weeks, at the end of that three weeks, it'll feel like something you've done for your whole life. It won't feel like this new thing you're doing. It'll feel like this is part of you. And if you don't do it after that, you'll feel like something's missing. And then what happens after 90 days is even more special. After 90 days, it becomes your lifestyle. And for a lot of you guys, I look around the audience, I see a lot of sexy guys in here.  You're gonna feel like something was missing because you didn't get to exercise. So that's what I mean by creating a lifestyle. So next, I wanna talk about wealth. Insecurity and fear there for a lot of people. What do I do to make money? Coming out of college, I had no idea what I was gonna do to make money. So I got a job in finance. And it wasn't really a job I liked. In fact, I hated it. I hated working in an office. I hated working for somebody, answering to somebody. But it paid pretty good money. And I quickly had the golden handcuffs on. And by golden handcuffs I meant the money was so good I didn't wanna get out of that job. And the problem was it wasn't my passion. Now, who in this room can say that what they do for a living is their passion? That's awesome, like almost 50%. And when your passion is your job you never work a day in your life. It's the greatest thing in the world. Every day is fun. Every day you're doing what you love to do and you're getting paid for it.  You'll love to talk about it. People will listen. People will be engaged by it. And there's a lot of advice out there. Learn to be a PhD student in this thing you don't care about and you'll make good money. Get your MBA in business. You'll make good money. Become a lawyer, become a doctor.  And if we spend 40 hours a week working that's a huge amount of time that we're not enjoying. So if your life, if your job is not your passion I would highly suggest figuring that out how you can turn your passion into a job. And it's really not that difficult. There's a million articles, blogs on the internet on how to do that. So as I was saying the all in moment for my transformation from working at a job I hated to working at my favorite job in the whole world which is doing this came in 2008 when the markets collapsed. I was working for a private equity firm and when the markets tanked everyone else at the company I was working for was devastated. They're like, oh my God, I'm out of a job. And up until that point for the past, the six months prior to when that happened I was blogging, building a side business on this stuff, on confidence, on dating, how to meet women. And I kind of saw it coming. They stopped really, they stopped calling me in to show up to work. It's like this is awesome, they're still paying me but I don't have to go so I can spend even more time blogging. And I could see the writing on the wall. I knew I was going to get laid off. I knew the company was going under. And while everyone else was praying that that wouldn't happen I was starting my side business. So when that happened it was do or die. I was all in again. Either make this dating coaching thing work or find some other job that you hate that's gonna get, that you're gonna make less money than the job you were just at. So it was a no brainer for me. And once you're in that position where you have to do it, same thing would happen when I made that bet you're gonna succeed. You guys don't know how amazing you are.   It's the hardest thing to do in life to be all in, to have no outs. But you'll always figure out a way. I've never met somebody that has been in that situation and hasn't at least figured out a way. Now worst case scenario my dating thing didn't work out. Maybe I'd be on the streets. But is that really gonna happen? Ask yourself, am I really gonna be on the streets? Do I have no friends? I can't crash on their couch. I don't think anyone in this room or watching this video is really worried about that. But our biggest fears are what stop us from going after our dreams. And they're completely irrational. They make no sense but they run our lives a lot of the time. So that was the all in moment. And what happened very quickly after that was my lifestyle changed. I was forced to blog every day. I was forced to make sales calls to build my practice, to find clients. And after the first three weeks, becoming good at sales and making those calls, they were scary. But they became easier and easier. And now I love sales. And I'll tell you guys right now, if you can't sell, you're in for a rude awakening at some point in your life. At some point you'll always have to sell. You'll have to be able to sell yourself to women. You'll have to be able to find clients. To get a job you have to sell. And the only reason why people are scared of sales is because they're scared of, it's an irrational fear. You don't wanna look bad. You don't want to be the guy that people hate because you try to sell them something. So becoming good at sales was probably the biggest thing that created just the most abundance in my life when it came to career, money. And not only that, but being able to be good at sales, like transforming that area, gave me so much confidence in all the other areas as well. So next, let's talk about relationships. And my biggest fear and insecurity when it came to relationships was, I'm not good enough for the women I really want. Who can relate to that? Probably everybody on some level, right? Be like, most of the time, you see that girl and like, oh yeah, I can get her or whatever. But then you see that smoking hot girl and you're like, oh, what would she want of me? Why would she want me? And then the next question you probably tell yourself is, well, if only I was ex, then she would like me. For me it was, if only I was ripped, then she would like me. Or for some of you it may be like, well, if only I knew what to say. Or when do I go for the kiss? If I had that stuff figured out, then I could get her. But we always have these excuses. If I didn't have approach anxiety, then I could go talk to her. And there's, I don't even know how much advice on the internet now about how to meet women. We're in London, so how to pull the birds, I guess they say it here. But when it comes to advice, listen to yourself. The best dating advice you could ever get is to answer that question for yourself. When you say I can't get that girl because of ex, if you transform ex, you'll get the girl. That's it. It's very simple. And the easy way out is to say, oh, well, I need to study this other stuff. So you start studying and studying and studying, but you avoid that thing you need to do the most. I studied this stuff for years, and like I said, if I would have just lost the weight in the first place, it would have been that much easier. So approach anxiety. What's that? It's just a fear. How do you get over a fear? You do it. There's no other way. There's no other way to do it, but you put yourself in an all-in situation. If you wanna get over a fear, my advice, put yourself in an all-in situation. What I did for that with dating and relationships was I started taking boot camps from a company called Pickup 101. This was back in 2005, 2006. And I took three different boot camps, and at the end of those three boot camps, I still had approach anxiety. I still didn't know what to say. I still didn't know when to go for the kiss, but I had a lot of information, and I didn't know because I hadn't practiced it enough. Like just getting the information wasn't changing anything, but I knew if I could just practice it enough, if I was forced to change it, I would. So what happened in that situation was kind of lucky. They asked me if I wanted to be a coach for them.  For sure, right?  So my approach anxiety completely disappeared when I had to do it. If I was working with a client, they said, oh, will you please demonstrate going up to that girl? Well, okay, I have approach anxiety, but I'm still going because if I don't, I'm dead, right? I lose everything. So as I repeat, you put yourself in that situation, you'll be fine. If you figure it out, if you're forced to figure it out, you'll figure it out. And very quickly, my lifestyle changed dramatically. I went from having no dates. I don't even think I went on a date, like an official date until I was 24 years old. I had two girlfriends leading up to that that I just met through friends, but I hadn't been on any dates. I didn't know anything. And very quickly, as I changed my lifestyle, I created just a really fun abundance of women in my life. Like now if I wanna go out and meet a girl, it's not a question of whether or not that's gonna happen. It's which one am I gonna meet that night or that day? And that's a great place to be. It's like one of the best things, a great gift you can give to yourself. So becoming a champion, this is basically the order in which you can succeed at anything you wanna do. First, you have to listen to yourself. What is that little voice saying? What is the fear? That's the very first thing you have to answer. And you have to face it. After you listen to what it is, you have to face it. And don't waste your time. This is the biggest thing I can give you guys is work on the thing that you need to work on the most. We all wanna procrastinate and work on something else because it's easier. And really what's happening is we're just stalling. Eventually you'll go back to it. I tried for 20 years to lose weight and I kept quitting and trying again and quitting and trying again. And finally I went back to it. If I would have just done that from the beginning, it would have been great. But hindsight's always 2020. So once you face your fears, you're gonna ingrain new habits. And what will happen as you're ingrating new habits is you're gonna start collecting wins. Now who is confident that tomorrow, the sun will rise. Why are we confident about that? Very simple. It's not because we feel good about ourselves or we've recited mantras or positive affirmations. The sun's coming up tomorrow. The sun's coming up tomorrow. It's because the sun has come up every freaking day since the beginning of time. There's no question whether it's coming up. And there's also no question that all of you guys could take out that cup of water and pour yourself a drink. You guys are all confident in your ability to do that. Why? You've done it a million times. You know you can. So what stops us from saying, well I'm not confident enough to approach that girl. Or I'm not confident enough to start a business based around my passion. Well it's very simple. You just haven't tried enough times. You haven't done it enough. So that's the answer, is do it more. Do it more, you'll collect wins. Every time you collect a win, your confidence increases that much. But your confidence will never increase unless you stack those wins up. And you can't stack wins up from not taking action. You have to take action. As you do that, your confidence grows and your new lifestyle emerges. Eventually you'll feel like, you know what? I can approach a girl anytime I see her. It's not even an issue. I used to have approach anxiety. It's weird, it's gone. I can just do it every time. Just like I can go pour myself a glass of water. That's when you know you've really changed your lifestyle. So how do we turn the information that I'm giving you guys into transformation that'll last? Well first, you gotta devise a plan. That's the first step. Now what goes into a plan? First thing is setting goals. And this is the part that everyone hates. This is the part that I hate.  Everyone's like, ugh, this is the boring part. But this is the part that makes or breaks people from becoming a champion in any endeavor. And it's that whole planning part. Some of us love to plan.  It's like the worst thing in the world for me. But if I don't plan, I never succeed. And after failing numerous times, I've finally learned that I should plan. So what goes into a plan? Well, the first thing is goal setting. And goal setting is extremely important because if we set the wrong goals, we won't achieve what we want. For example, if you say to yourself, well, I wanna get more confident. What does that mean? More confident in what? More confident in sales, more confident with women. And what does that even mean? What does more confident with women mean? Does that mean I wanna get 10 women's phone numbers this week? There's a problem with 10 women's phone numbers. The problem is can you do that for sure? Can you go out and get 10 women's phone numbers? The answer is no, because they have to give it to you, right? But you can ask for 10 women's phone numbers. So that is an example of a goal that works. Can you physically go out and ask for 10 women's phone numbers this week?  So that's a great goal. But if your goal is anything other than something you can do for sure, it's terrible. Next thing, you can't improve at something you don't measure. You have to be able to track it. It's easy to track things that have to do with math, money. It's easy to know how much money you're making if you're improving in that area every year. How do you track whether or not you're improving your health and fitness?  You may have to track how much weight you can lift doing a certain exercise. But if you're just going to the gym every day and not tracking everything or anything at all, which is what we typically do, we just go, we don't track, we don't know if we're improving. And what happens is we're all our own worst critics and we'll tell ourselves, oh, I'm not improving. Nothing's getting better, even though we are. When I used to diet and fail and diet and fail, I would never track. The only thing I would track would be my weight. But I didn't even know that maybe I ate Chipotle before I weighed in and 3500 milligrams of sodium and I'm four pounds heavier when I weighed in, even though maybe I'd lost five pounds on the scale only said one. So I would quit, even though I was succeeding. So tracking is so huge because it keeps you in a very positive or it'll show you exactly what you're doing wrong. So if you don't track it, you won't get better at it. Next thing is accountability and carrots and sticks versus integrity. Now what I mean by carrots and sticks is a really cool TED talk. If you search, I think it's called the power of motivation. He talks about this concept of carrots and sticks. Now me making a bet and forcing myself to lose weight was an example of a stick. Meaning if you don't do this, you're gonna get hit by a stick and that stick was losing thousands and thousands of dollars. Now it could have been if you don't do this, you'll get something for free. I know somebody who wanted to lose weight growing up and her parents offered her any car that she wanted. Any car, she could have gotten to Bugatti. Her family was loaded. All she had to do was lose like 50 pounds. But she couldn't do it. And the reason why was the carrot wasn't big enough. It wasn't juicy enough. And the problem with carrots and sticks is that sticks work a lot better than carrots. But our fear will often stop us from putting that stick into place. Now carrots and sticks are great. Rewards and punishments are great.  And I learned this from a coach and one of the most valuable lessons I ever learned was that if you wanna be the most powerful version of you, whenever you say I want this or I want to do this, you just do it. There's no lag time between the thing you wanna do and you actually taking action on it. So I would say you see the gorgeous, Burnett walking down the street. First thought, I like her, I wanna talk to her, you just go. There's no hesitation. And what happens when you have that relationship with your own word, when you say I want X and you do X or I'll show up on time and you show up on time or I'll finish this thing for my friend and you follow through, is you develop a relationship with yourself where your word is everything. And people will respect you, people will give you everything you want. It's unbelievable what happens when your integrity is in place. And I like to think of integrity, your relationship with your word, not as something good, bad, right or wrong.  That's not gonna do any good. I think of integrity more as workability. So if you picture a bicycle wheel with spokes, you've got your circle and you've got spokes, every time you break your word, you can look at it as one of those spokes is being removed from the wheel. And if you break your word enough times, eventually what happens? Wheel collapses, right? Once you lose 50% of those spokes or even a little bit less than that, 60%, the wheel's gonna collapse and that's when you have unworkability in your life. That's when you quit, that's when you stop. So you can use carrots and sticks, you can use that all-in type of motivation to get yourself to a place where your word is everything. That's what I've really done. And I think that was the best kind of stepping stone for me to do it in. And the last part is making it fun, right?  But the thing you want to accomplish is fun, otherwise you wouldn't be doing it, right? So just realize that if you go through the trouble of devising a plan, you're eventually creating fun in any area you want. Cause it's never fun to fail at stuff. It's never fun to not get the results you want. So, but in order to have fun, we may have to plan a bit. And if any of this stuff seems hard for you guys to do or you're feeling a little bit overwhelmed by how do I go through this process? I created a free podcast where I mapped this all out in extreme detail. It's almost an hour long where I go through all of these steps and I wanted to give it to you guys as a thank you for showing up at the event and for watching online as well. So if you want that podcast, send an email, I'll leave that up for a second, to ic21convention at aweber.com. If you have your phone on you, you can do it now. Just send an email with your name and you'll automatically be emailed that. It'll go out by the end of the week. So, the last thing I want to talk about is what I call the dream team. Now, if you want to succeed in any area of life and build confidence, you can't do it alone, I promise. You can't even go to the bathroom alone. Someone had to build a toilet, right? Unless you take a dump in the middle of the street, you cannot accomplish that goal of going to the bathroom. But we get into these silly conversations with ourselves where, oh, I can do it alone. I don't need anyone. I like to try to do everything alone. But the problem with that is I know I'm not going to succeed. So, I've learned to stop doing that. And instead of doing that, I develop a dream team for any area I really want to succeed at. And here are the components of a dream team. The first one is a mentor. A mentor is just somebody who's done the thing you want to do. So, if that's losing weight, go to somebody who's lost weight, right? If that's getting good with women, go to somebody who was like you and is now where you want to be at with women. Same thing with, well, same thing at anything. Like take advice from somebody who's been in your shoes and now is where you want to be. That's a mentor. The next one is a critical eye. And a critical eye is somebody who can give you feedback.  And maybe you didn't know that. You didn't realize because you were too worried about what you were going to say. So that's a critical eye. The next one is a cheerleader. Cheerleader seems like the lamest one on this list, but it's actually by far, I would say, the most important. Because a cheerleader is somebody who cheers you on for taking the action you want to take, regardless of the result.  Because all you're going to see is why you failed, why it was hard, and eventually you'll quit. So cheerleader is huge. The last thing is accountability, buddy. Somebody who will hold you accountable. It's a great example of a stick, right? If you know that if you don't approach those three girls that you said you would, you're going to get a phone call from your buddy. Hey, how'd it go? You're probably 100 times more likely to do that thing you're scared of than otherwise. So, Seth, can you pass out those sheets real quick? So on this sheet, there's six steps to succeeding at pretty much anything you want to succeed at. And this is the process that I take people through when I coach with them. All of my coaching takes place over a long period of time, at least 21 days, because that's what it takes to ingrain new habits and a new lifestyle. And let me go through the six steps real quick. So step one is creating a game. That could be the game of getting better with women. It could be the game of turning your passion into your career. Step two, devise a plan to crush your fears, because the first thing that'll be in the way is a fear. Step three, execution, following through. Step four, looking at what you're doing. All right, I'm taking this action. Am I getting the results I want? Yes or no? If the answer is no, tweaking and fine tuning. That's where a critical eye comes in very handy. Stacking up wins, that'll happen after you've tweaked and fine tuned.  So that's what I do with my clients. And if that is something you guys want to look into, if you think that would be a good idea, the way I coach people is through four live calls. You can do it anywhere in the world on Skype. And I record all the calls, that way you can listen to them again, obviously. I also have 10 clients at any one time. I never work with more than 10 people. And all of those guys are in a private forum. And we all bounce ideas off each other, we all hold each other accountable. So you get access to that. And another thing that comes along with it is an image consultation. Because you want to make sure that whatever you're working on, when you're changing your confidence, it also matches the presentation that you're putting out there. So if you guys are interested in mentorship with me, it's a 30 day program. I charge 2,000 for this per month. But it's a special deal for today only. Only have two spots, because I've got eight clients right now. It's 997. So that's number one. And also throughout the event, at nights and during lunch breaks, I'll be doing in-field coaching as well, when it comes to dating. And if you want to work on a different area, like let's say growing your business, or putting a plan together for devising a way to get in better shape, we obviously wouldn't have to go out for that. But we would do a session on that as well. So this is only for while I'm here until Sunday. And that's a two hour session with me. And that's for today only. That's 397. And I think I only have three spots left for that.  And what I do in the strategy session is I sit down with you one-on-one. Takes about 50 minutes. And you tell me what's going on. And I very easily can pinpoint the fears, what's stopping you. And we devise a plan. I take you through that whole process on what you need to do to get better. And at the end, all you have to do is implement it. And for that, I only have five spots. I just don't have more time to do it than that. And it's 77 if you want that. So if you guys are interested in any of these things, at the end of my talk, fill this out and hand it to Seth. He'll be in the back. And now we're going to do some Q&A. Actually before that, I wanna talk real quickly about the reasons why most people fail. Cause failure is the thing that we're all avoiding, right? So the first reason is a fear, right? I have approach anxiety. I'm scared to talk to girls. What do you do? Well, you don't do anything. You have no plan. Because you have no plan, you take no action. And there's obviously no follow through as well. If you're not taking action, there's nothing to tweak. There's nothing to say, am I improving? Am I not? And your lifestyle will not change. And if you have an area of your life where you're just not seeing results and you're not taking an action, the odds are it's not a priority for you. I talk to people all the time, this is what I hear over and over and over, is I wanna get better at whatever, X. Or I wanna, let's just say dating, right? I wanna work on approaching women. They never make it a priority. They never create that all in moment.  They never improve. And the reasons are always I'm busy, I'm broke. What if it doesn't work? Well, you don't know if it'll work unless you try, right? So if you can eradicate these things, you'll succeed at anything. Fear is the number one thing. So who has questions on anything to do with confidence? Anything to do with confidence? Yeah? Oh, one sec, let's grab the mic. Yeah, you were talking about this dream team. Is it necessary that you have four different people or can one person have different roles in that process? Okay, good question. So one person can be all four. For example, when I work with clients, I fill all four roles. Now if you can get more people, the more the better. If you have 20 cheerleaders, that's amazing, right? But as far as a mentor, you only want one. If you listen to two people give advice on the same topic, odds are they're gonna have conflicting views and conflicting views will cause confusion and confusion will lead to not taking action.  So when it comes to a mentor, just have one. When it comes to a critical eye, it's okay to have a few there. Just want to make sure that they know what they're talking about. And accountability, the more the better. So a mentor won, the rest unlimited. Hi, could you give a few more details about how you improved your health in the last way? What advice you took and why? What you did, work size, nutrition, et cetera? Sure. So details on how I lost the weight. What I did very specifically was I downloaded an app on my phone, which was a calorie counter tracked by exercise, tracked everything I ate. So after every meal, I would either scan the barcode or put in exactly what I ate. And after every workout, I would enter that information as well. And I set it up to where I knew that I would lose three pounds per week if I followed this exact formula. And I knew if I lost three pounds per week, I would win the bet. Because I knew I had to lose 50 pounds within 100 days. So I ended up doing better than that. I ended up losing, I guess I don't even know what the math is, but that's irrelevant. So I figured out to a T what I had to do and I tracked it. Next, I eliminated sugar completely from my diet. I would eat less than 10 grams of sugar a day. My diet was awful. It was chicken thighs, vegetables, fish, egg whites. Repeat, repeat.  But I knew I had to lose weight by a certain date. And that's all I ate. And I actually really enjoyed it after the first three weeks. Now my diet is very similar. Like I cooked every meal. I ate out a total of five times in that 100 days. Cause when you're eating out, you don't know what's in the food. And on top of that, I exercised pretty much every day. I either played ice hockey or I went to the gym or I went running. But I found that the exercise was almost irrelevant to how fast I lost weight. It was pretty much 95% diet for me. And would I recommend following that diet? Probably not. Super hardcore, right? Like it was the most, oh, and I never ate more than like 1700 calories, which is nothing. And everyone told me, oh, you're not gonna be able to stick to it. You can't follow it.  And obviously that didn't happen. I lost the weight by December 15th. It's now June. And I'm in better shape now than I was then cause I put on some muscle. I was a skinny twig after the diet, but I had to be. And that was the other thing. A lot of people talk about like cutting versus bulking and all that stuff.  And I had tried that in the past and that involved me like eating and eating and eating. And then when it came time to cut, that wouldn't happen. So I just got fat. So does that answer your question? Cool. Yeah, right here. You also mentioned carrots and sticks. And you mentioned it more or less as being separated. But what you mentioned carrots and sticks and integrity. And you more or less discuss them as being separated. But this are also a possibility to combine both. And what are your views on that? Well, if you have, if your integrity is at a really high level, you don't need carrots and sticks. Like if you say tomorrow I'm going to run a marathon and when you say that to yourself, you know you're doing it for sure. There's no question in your mind. A carrot and stick won't really change anything. But if there's even the tiniest doubt in your mind that you won't do it, a stick can be extremely valuable. And that's kind of the measure that I have with myself when it comes to whether or not I need a carrot and stick. If I ask myself, right tomorrow I'm going to do my taxes. It's something I always put off doing my taxes. I always file late extensions. I know I can't trust myself to do my taxes.  So I put a stick in place. I call up a friend and say, if I don't have my taxes done tomorrow, cash out this $100, I just sent you on PayPal. If I have it done, send me the money back.  Money works amazing for using sticks. You know, if you're scared to approach a girl, give your friend $100 and say, if I don't approach a girl in five minutes, keep it. You'll approach a girl. I promise. That's all it takes. And no one ever does this. It took me so many years to adopt that very simple thing. And now I do it for everything. Like money, the fear of loss of money is huge. Now don't say if I approach that girl, give me $100, because first of all, who would do that? Second of all, you won't approach her. Your fear is worth more than $100. So does that answer your question? And I have an additional question. Is an integrity related to being unconsciously competent? So the thought of approaching a girl, for example, doesn't even register, you just do it. So unconsciously competent? Competent. Competent. What do you mean by that? Because you mentioned integrity as being in tune with your internal dialogue and seeing a girl and just doing it. And is it some kind of automatic mechanism you have to achieve at a certain point? You'll achieve that automatic mechanism when you've done it enough times where if you see that girl, you know you're going. Like I've been in New York for the last month and a half. And when I first got there, I wanted to meet women. The easiest, cheapest and fastest way to meet women is during the day. You don't have to deal with dudes. You don't have to deal with bar tabs. New York is expensive and it's free. You walk outside, there's girls everywhere and no one's hitting on them. So I would literally walk out the door and I would just walk around. I saw a girl that I liked and the second I saw her, I knew it was like, okay, here we go. Go chase after her. And it almost got to the point where I was like, oh, it's annoying. I hope I don't see a hot girl because I know I have to talk to her. Like there's just no getting around it. So when you can get to that level, it becomes that unconscious competence that you're asking about. So does that, I think I answered it, but okay, cool. Over here? One minute, is that what you said? Oh, okay. Hi, do you recommend getting a mentor in person or is it okay to listen to a mentor, I mean, someone you respect online or if you read about them or do you actually recommend getting someone in person as well? If you're just looking for information and you know that all you need is that information, then I would say that's fine. And if you're also looking for feedback from the mentor or if there's something that you need coaching on that has to be in person, then I would recommend working with somebody one-on-one. The benefit of working with somebody one-on-one is that you develop a relationship with them versus just some guru you're listening to. And a lot of the times advice, like when people package advice, they have to package it for many different people, obviously. So it may not 100% directly relate to you and obviously it may not be as pinpointed. But you can improve it a lot of things by just finding excellent resources and following them. So it's not necessary, but it's just a little bit easier if you can afford to invest in that sort of thing. So it basically comes down to a cost decision for most people, I think. Does that answer your question? Cool. All right, guys. Well, thank you so much. And I'm really looking forward to hosting the event. You'll hear a lot more from me throughout this thing. And I'll see you guys out during the breaks and come chat me up and I'll be going out every night as well. So if you guys are out, let's do it. Let's party. Thanks, guys. Thank you. Thank you.


The love of God is often thought of as being similar to parental love, but no metaphor is perfect. Parental love is not a free choice. Deeply embedded biological programming, powerful hormones, and the subconscious communication of our limbic systems drives us toward affection for our offspring. And parental love is not only biologically conditioned, it is a social obligation. By contrast, God has no biological or social imperative for loving us. God does not love out of any obligation, but for the pure joy of it. In this way, God's love is not parental. There is another metaphor which better conveys what God's love is like. Geeky.