Assalamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu Welcome to everybody who has joined us today for our talk on the Rahmah Foundation's Halaka. We normally have a Halaka tonight on Friday nights and given everything that's happening we have moved it to an online Halaka so welcome to all of our sisters who have joined us those who normally joined us at the MCC in Pleasanton and those who normally joined us from abroad and from other parts of the country and of California. Welcome all of you inshallah we look forward to having you this evening. Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem wasallallahu maala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam ajma'een. As is our norm for the Friday night Halakas we typically start with some Quran and Zikr because today we started after the Maghrib prayer normally if we were in the Masjid we would have prayed together in Jama'a but because we are online we are starting actually we'll jump into the Zikr portion of our talk tonight before we start our talk tonight inshallah. For those of you who have been part of the Halakas for some time you know how this goes I think given everything that's happening around us it's probably a really good idea to do some Zikr and the reason we do Zikr or remembrance of Allah at the beginning of our Halaka normally we do this in order to teach the the different forms of Allah or remembrance of Allah but today especially more so we want to make sure we do some Zikr because it's really a time to center ourselves there is a lot of anxiety and you know fear and a lot of trouble that people are feeling and rightfully so and I think this would be a great time to really do our Zikr together so for those of you who know the Al-Qad go ahead and start with me and those who have not heard them before please go ahead and listen closely normally what we do is we start with the Arabic and we usually have the translation and the transliteration so for today's sake since we don't have everybody together I'll start with the Arabic I'll do three of each and then I'll also explain what they are in English all right everybody let's start Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem the first is and this translates into there is no power or strength except through God and that is definitely something we're going to come back today in the topic of that there is no power or strength in all that's happening except by Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala number two the translation is Allah suffices me and he is the best to depend on and the best lord and the best helper and certainly something that we need to really hold on to today in these days because we do need his help and assistance in this time and always the third repeat with me inshallah be rahmatikan astaghifu aghithna ya hayyu ya qayyum be rahmatikan astaghifu aghithna oh living oh caregiving your mercy we plead for help us and number four there is no god but you praise be to you severely I was amongst the unjust number five peace the words of a merciful lord number six no one less than Allah can lift this and the seventh is Muhammad we send praise and blessings upon the prayers upon the prophet Muhammad peace be upon him so for those sisters who have been part of our holocaz before this is typically how we start our holocaz over the course of time we build from saying that I've got three times to five times to seven times and so on and really it is meant to be as a teaching lesson to learn how to say these beautiful different forms of of god or remembrance allah and also we say them together as a form of teaching so that we learn and also as a form of centering ourselves because by the time you get to Friday night of a busy week you have been here and there and so much has happened and especially in a week like this week there has been so much difficult news and confusion and things are changing so rapidly so quickly not even daily really it's hour by hour minute by minute nowadays and the idea of really centering yourself is really really important and so I hope inshallah the starting of the ticket is kind of our tradition and I was glad to be able to do it with all of you even though it's virtually over remotely before I begin the talk inshallah I'd like to just briefly introduce the rahmah foundation for those of you who've been with us for some time you are well aware alhamdulillah of our organization but for those of you who may not know us I wanted to share inshallah on the next slide you'll see a little bit about who we are the rahmah foundation is a nonprofit organization educational nonprofit organization dedicated to educating Muslim women and girls and we are very much committed to programs that we do like this virtually online and others similar to this we have monthly programs that we like to roll out through online system for everybody to take hold of but here we are located in northern California and we have a multitude of events that happen under the rahmah foundation organization through the year like these Friday night halakas for women that we have located at the MCC in pleasant in California along with all of our girls programming which happens on Friday night from toddlers all the way to high school aged girls youth groups that we run and a mentorship system for the teachers who teach those halakas for the kids for the girls they are then mentored into a teacher's halakas so it's a morabbia program that we host we also have a foundations of hipth program for the learning of the jweed for girls as an after school program and a variety of short intensives that we do through the year for women and for girls as well as summer camps that we host for our elementary middle school and high school age girls as well so alhamdulillah this has been our mission and dedication for about 15 years or so now and alhamdulillah may Allah bless us and accept from us and what you're attending tonight is what would have otherwise been our Friday night halakas for the women that we do and alhamdulillah it's been a really beautiful gathering that you know week in week out through the academic year on Friday nights and there's also a live stream for those who are not able to attend or come to pleasant in person so if you're new to us i'm glad you joined us tonight and i hope inshallah you'll be able to join us more regularly on Friday nights now i wanted to tell you that we have been for the last academic year since September when we started this year's halakas we have been covering the seerah or the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and the book that we've been covering is is called the prophetic narrative it's a two-volume translation of the seerah done actually by a woman author masha'Allah as the samirah and translated by a team of woman scholars masha'Allah into the english language and it's a beautiful seerah book and inshallah hopefully in the future you'll be able to join us for the continuation of that seerah halakah tonight though we have a different topic though related and we are going to touch on some aspects of the seerah tonight as well but we titled tonight's talk spiritual fortification in times of difficulty and really the reason for this as you can imagine is everything related to what's happening with COVID-19 or the coronavirus and all of the fears and anxieties and really difficulties that people are facing and dealing with which are very real and i want to touch on this both from as a mental health you know as a clinician as a psychiatrist but i also want to touch on this from a spiritual dimension as well and really bring the two worlds together but because i think that's inshallah hopefully going to give us some ease i hope and pray inshallah to anah before i begin i was really reminded how today we sit here today and kind of grappling with this news it's march 13th of 2020 and on march 15th of 2019 almost just about one full year ago you might remember that we were all grappling the muslim community and the worldwide community was grappling with other really devastating and difficult news i hope inshallah you probably all remember this and don't need a reminder but if you probably think back you'll remember christ church shootings in new zealand happened exactly a year ago today it was a friday it was also a jamar and you know when we reflect on the lives that were lost in new zealand and what happened to the muslim community throughout the world but particularly those of us who live in the west and the sense of safety that was taken away from us with the shootings and we had this reaction and very strong and necessary reaction that happened because we felt that we were transgressed upon because people were in their place of worship in the masjid in jamar on friday doing their obligatory jamar prayer when they were gunned down you know gunned down machine guns maleu protect us and maleu forgive those who passed away and grant them the highest levels of gender and accept their martyrdom and suprahanallah when we think about the difficulty of that i can't help but connect the two things because today is also jamar and a lot of the discussion that's been happening all around us is how do we how do we we're juma is our cancelled right how do we get to the juma prayers um and what does it mean for juma to be cancelled is this the first time in history has this happened the answer is no it's not the first time in history but maybe it's the first time in modern history or in the history of of your memory um in a place of safety in a place that is otherwise safe and not in war because if we were to pick ourselves up and drop us into syria for example then in modern history yes jumas have been cancelled for lack of safety reasons right so for those of us who are in non-war torn countries and in a place of otherwise safety you have a parallel between suprahanallah you know something like the terrorism that happened in christ church shootings taking away juma from us and today exactly a year later a virus that we cannot even see with the naked eye it is so tiny right microscopic that has also taken away our juma today and when we think about the feelings that that evokes right the anxieties that that brings about it's a very real thing and sometimes suprahanallah you don't appreciate a thing until it's gone and maybe at that point in time we didn't really even think a year later we too would be prevented from the juma but for a completely different reason than our sisters and brothers that were in christ church new zealand and it reminds us that we don't depend our islam and our dean is not dependent on a masjid it is not dependent on a space and location it is something that is a connection between us and Allah suprahanallah in our hearts and even though we may be sad that we can't go to juma and people are very much concerned and thinking about sarawih Ramadan is just around the corner next month inshallah we'll later in the talk inshallah hope we can get to back to the topic of juma and sarawih in more practical matters but people are also concerned about all the umras that were canceled we have dear friends of ours who were meant to be actually leaving for umrah right now and have been prevented from that and others who are planning for hajj and are really questioning whether or not they're going to be able to make hajj this year and we ask Allah suprahanallah to belligna well first we're in Rajab so to belligna shaban and to belligna Ramadan and to allow us to get to our juma and allow us to get towards sarawih and allow us to get to our umras and allow us to get to our hajj and may Allah suprahanallah facilitate all of these things because just like he was able to bring in this small tiny iri bidi virus that prevented us from all these things in a blink of an eye he also can take it all away right and this is kind of the state of a believer of a mu'mina of a mu'mina that even though you this is what we're feeling is kind of a band speaking of you know bands and travel bands and such um but we are not banned from the mercy of Allah suprahanallah even if we were quote unquote banned from our masajid our haram sharif right and um it also was a reminder to me you know this morning i want to share with you the story because it's hitting very close to home and i think for many of you in different ways the the coronavirus and you know coven 19 is hitting personal um hitting you personally in different ways for me personally my parents both of my parents are um elderly and they're both overseas at the moment and have been there for a few months and we're meant to travel back to the states um tomorrow and there is all this uh anxiety because not only were we worried about the new european ban because their travel from overseas they're going to pass through europe and there was all this discussion on will they be quarantined will they let them in if they are quarantined you know for how long and where is it better for them just not to travel all together but then is it safer there or safer here there's all these questions our family has been grappling with all morning supranallah but um in addition to that where they were located there have been these really i mean we're so busy with the coven 19 maybe we haven't even paid attention to some of the very difficult weather circumstances that have hit other parts of the world and where they are currently apparently there had been such heavy heavy heavy heavy rains and storms and floods that had all of the um that everything stopped because of the floods um juma was stopped not just because the virus that because of the sheer flooding and and rains that were happening that made it impossible for people to leave their homes water was seeping in even into you know closed doors and windows and um and electricity was lost so when we got finally got ahold of them they said we don't have electricity we don't have you know heat we don't have light we don't have um water running water uh other than the rains on the streets of course everything is kind of really um uh you know the pharmacies are close the we can't get to our medicine they had run out of medicine too and in the top of that all we're trying to figure out do they get on a plane or do they not and if they do are they going to be quarantined in some foreign country and we don't know how to get hold of them so this is our personal family struggles we've been going through today and I'm sure everybody has a story of some sort that they have been personally struggling with as well and when I reflect on these things I think deeply about the state of um our safety and how the blessing of things that we don't even appreciate until they're gone right we don't appreciate necessary health until we feel sick and we don't appreciate our massages until our they're taken away and we don't appreciate and we complain about them right we don't appreciate the electricity until it's cut off the water running water until it's cut off the toilet paper until it's gone from the stores you know and not to make light of any of these matters but it's a really deep thing to think about and then we're reminded see these these now it's not even epidemic that's the WHO the World Health Organization has called it a pandemic right and these pandemics what they do is they really help us in the silver lining of it is the empathy and in our in the field of you know psychology and psychiatry we talk about the difference between sympathy and empathy and sympathy is sitting back and going oh poor them they had their electricity cut in the water cut and they're quarantined right but empathy is putting yourself in those shoes and for so many people that doesn't happen until you physically physically put yourself into those shoes and I'll give you an example you see this whole thing that's happening with the coronavirus as difficult as it is you know the coronavirus at the end of the day is not actually as heavy of an illness as for example a different illness like the Ebola virus that happened in that had the outbreak you know in Africa and because Ebola happened on the other side of the world right it was over they talk about other riots I teach a class at Stanford called the psychology of xenophobia and in the last um and in the last uh final some of the some of the the students presented on the psychology of or sorry the uh the xenophobia of the coronavirus which I thought was a really interesting um concept of thinking about all of the the fear of the unknown and the fear of the other and in this case it wasn't necessarily a certain group of ethnicity or people or religion like a somophobia but rather it was the virus itself and anybody who was coughing and sneezing or anybody perhaps who looked Asian because that was the epicenter of the virus happened in China first so when you think about what that means and think about you know empathy putting yourself in those shoes so again Ebola was over there and we sympathized but now that coronavirus COVID-19 has made its way over here and we are literally stock stocking up on necessities dealing with school closures and message closures and being told to isolate and social distancing and being told to stay home from work and having to figure out how to work from home have kids at home you know make sure that there's enough essentials in the household in case we're quarantined voluntary or involuntary and all the fear that comes with it and all the confusion and difficulty that comes with it this is the definition of empathy right literally putting yourself in those shoes but Muslims we do this every year yearly by the command of Allah subhanAllah and the month of Ramadan right we're all year long we say subhanAllah the people who are poor subhanAllah the people who don't have enough to eat subhanAllah the food that they do have isn't nutritious and we try to give sadaqah and we try to give zakah and we try to help and make dua for those folks until we get to Ramadan and then we put ourselves in those shoes and we start to empathize with how it feels to not eat and drink consistently right and so subhanAllah the difficulty that we're feeling today we don't really know all of the all of the divine wisdom as to why Allah subhanAllah sent COVID-19 to us and people try to hypothesize why that is and honestly the best we could say is yes this is a tribulation from Allah subhanAllah but we are very careful to say that we don't know Allah whether it is a punishment from Allah subhanAllah and we don't want to be very careful not to get caught up in that kind of mentality because because we don't actually know one of my teachers would often say to us you know when something would happen bad would happen and you think back and say what did I do that possibly caused that she would say to us you know it is actually healthy to try to connect the dots however you can't say with certainty that it is because of x that y and z happened okay very very careful because only Allah subhanAllah knows whether or not this is actually a punishment and it may be or it may not be there may be some other divine reason why in his divine wisdom why it is that this is happening but it is a tribulation and when tribulations come to us we're told that we must tie our camel like the story that all of you know where the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam saw a better land who came to pray at the masjid and entered into the masjid and left his camel and entered in without tying it in any way and the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam called him back and said come here what are you doing and he said I'm going to go pray and he said what about your camel what about your camel and he said isn't Allah going to take care of my camel for me and the Prophet sent him back and said go tie your camel then to waqar on Allah tie your camel and then depend on Allah right and so the depending the the tying our camel in this case is is basically saying you know because people are saying things like you know if the virus was meant to come to you it's going to come to you and there's a boom projected here certainly in California but certainly all throughout the country at this point in the world perhaps and people are saying well if it's coming it's coming what are we going to do well yes in some respects that is a partial truth if it's coming it's coming if it's written for you it is written for you this is true however tie your camel then depend on Allah right so we don't just say well if it's coming it's coming and you know so on we actually do the very guidelines that are being sent and I know they're being sent all around and I don't necessarily have to go through them nor am I an infectious disease specialist in any way but I want to you know remind you the things that and all of you have been reading on this of like you know washing your hands frequently and not touching your face because the spread through the nose and mouth and being careful with social distancing keeping distances and not being in large crowds of people and you know take these things seriously right here in California at least in our school district schools have closed and the for for at least the remainder of the month and into the month of April and you know where I teach at Stanford they have shut all of the the classes put everything online so all of us are scrambling to learn how to teach online alhamdulillah alhamdulillah this is great practice for that but the but the reality is you know even into the next spring quarter we don't even know if they're going to allow students back onto campus right so there's all of this chaos really is what's happening all around us and probably for good reason but when this happens we do have to take the precautions seriously because Allah what's Allah what exactly is coming with all of this but what we definitely know is that when Allah sends an illness or a sickness or a tribulation in this way he's also told us that he sent the cure and he'll set he will send the cure and the cure may come instantaneously there's already a news report today that maybe they've isolated COVID-19 and can figure out what to do with it and maybe there's still some maybe this is months in the process or maybe it's very soon Allah but we know this for sure as believers because that is something Allah has promised the hadith says and with every illness Allah has sent down he's also sent us cure it doesn't say when and it doesn't say how it says that the cure is coming so we must believe that as mu'min or believers also we have a the hadith of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that says that sickness is a sign of purification in our religion right in Islam and basically the prophet sallam said the example of the believer when he is afflicted by illness or fever is that of a piece of iron and fire it's defects vanish and it's good remains that we believe as mu'min as Muslims that when we have illness or sickness it is a felt heat it is actually a purification for us and as much as this is difficult for people to to sometimes think about and people are dying what do you mean some are yes of course dying and may Allah have mercy on all of those who are afflicted and ill and those who have passed away may Allah grant them the highest levels of jinn and forgive their sins and help us as well inshallah tzana but there are many who are getting the virus but also surviving alhamdulillah that's the majority but i think what's important here is to remember this concept of sickness or illness is something that actually does what is purifying to us right also the the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that no calamity befalls a muslim except that Allah removed sins from them because of it even if they were pricked by a thorn right so every every discomfort that we feel it's actually a expiation of sins so the sense of anxiety that we feel is is is a well known and study thing and it should not be something you're embarrassed of or something that people say to each other no you shouldn't feel that way i actually don't think that's useful whatsoever it's actually something the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam acknowledged and he saw amongst his his companions and actually told them how to deal with their emotions so who are we to say to everyone else ah don't get all worked up that's not proper and nor is it from the sunnah nor is it from the adab of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam rather rather what we're supposed to actually say and remind each other is that the sense of anxiety is a normal feeling and it is something that Allah gave us he actually put into us the sense of fight or in flight kind of um system that happens in our bodies for a good reason and part of our core beliefs is to really understand the and reflect on the wisdoms as to why it came and to know that we're going to be we'll see the light at the end of the tunnel because of it so no calamity befalls anyone except but this is from the quran directly and no calamity befalls anyone except by Allah's permission and whoever has faith in Allah he will rightly guide their hearts through adversity and Allah has perfect knowledge of all things right so we have to put this trust in him that he has a purpose and a wisdom and that you know even when we don't understand it that he knows what he's doing that he is boss capital B right that he knows why all of this is happening you know i'm going to take a moment here and just pause because whenever i say that i am reminded of you know when the when the the war in Syria broke out and many of you may know that i studied in Syria and my in its beautiful glorious days when it was still intact to me i love bring it back to better than it was before and bring all of its people and all of our teachers to safety amin you're up and i mean but i early on in the complex early on um my last trip to Damascus was in 2000 and 10 and the conflicts as you know the war started in 2011 and very soon after maybe in 2011 or 12 i was very sad and grief-stricken like so many others of course and i complained to my teacher and i said to her um this is so terrible i can't believe this is happening you know just i was devastated and and i'm not syrian of course and she is and her family is syrian and all of them and this is where she lives and she was had to leave and and her response to me was so amazing she said ania do you know how all of us um those of us who are syrian love syria so much i said yes you guys are very very proud of people i love your country so much and she said especially those who are at a dean the people of knowledge and we uh were so attached to syria you know it takes you know moving mountains to be able to to tell us to move from syria and to go somewhere else and i'd say yeah that's that is a true reflection i mean there was never a possibility of them going to somewhere else and us as students visiting it was us always coming to them always you know the shamashiri right one shovel and um and she said you know now that all of us are kind of this this war has happened whether we liked it or not it's like a lost product and it picked up all the people of knowledge and there were so many people of dean of knowledge not just of the men and the scholars but of the woman scholars too men and women are like scholars and she said it's like a lot picked us up and and and threw us across the world everyone in every which country and she started naming off countries in which fellow teachers had had moved to i mean places as far as like you know greenland and people as far as you know you know very far of places and i thought subhanallah and she said this could be a reason why the knowledge that we all had so so coveted and kept only in Damascus is now going to be spread across the world right because each person that moves in more we'll start teaching there and we'll start you know bringing knowledge there and here there and that will grow and that will grow and that will grow and she said and soon you'll see the the result of that and i just sat back and listened to this and was like in disbelief like how could somebody who was so directly affected by this the war you know have such a response but that is the depth of the iman that is faith right and sometimes like i said we don't know the wisdom of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and these things and this was her kind of interpretation of making the seeing the silver lining and something so terrible right and so like this too we may not fully understand all the wisdoms behind the adversity and the hardships and the universal change that is happening and the moments of struggle every day every day we keep hearing little bits of knowledge and news and we're going to talk about this attaching ourselves from following the news so closely honestly and it has a negative effect on the soul it really does it really does but in these moments we also start to understand how Allah is in charge and he is boss and he knows what he's doing even if we don't comprehend it and know why such things are happening right and so we learned right that that our really our selfishness right so much so much of COVID-19 has to go back to human selfishness honestly i mean as you're looking at the illness spread you know it being a you know a zawaric spread as in to say it goes from animal to human and you think about the cruelty we have dealt to the animal kingdom right and you think about the laws of Islam and the laws of Allah in what is considered to be halal and permissible meat and what is not what is considered to be animals that are meant to be safe and kept away right versus messing with them and getting that into our systems right with human beings you think about so much of COVID-19 you think about how much we in the heart of the rules of Islam how much we wash i was telling the Stanford students yesterday in their holocaum think about how much we wash as muslimin you know you have wudu you have five daily prayers in which you make wudu so you are washing your hands and washing your face and washing your limbs at least five times a day just about right we have washing in istinja we wash after we use the toilet forgive me but this is very important considering the toilet paper chaos and craziness that's happening out there someone said they haven't seen more um advertisements for the biday you know like the the the water hoses the the lotas if you know as they have since this outbreak has happened with with toilet paper it's like the first thing people think of oh i need you know toilet paper and for us as believers we're like uh no actually what you need is this water you know and you could dry off with a towel if you're out of toilet paper but you need water right we wash in istinja we wash in wudu we wash in wudu we wash the sunna washing before we eat our food and the wilson are washing after we eat our food we are constantly washing right right but the khada is shatr al-iman right the the cleanliness is half of our faith right it is constantly happening and when you think about the recommendations that are happening it's like wash your hands don't touch your face and nose and in the mouth um what's it called don't shake hands i'm like considering the right we as believers we but with the office of gender issue of shaking hands i mean all these things you're like right and then all the rules that Allah has put in place whether they are the rules of halal and haram or the rules of etiquette and social etiquette and interaction i mean we really shouldn't just not but not only for ourselves but we should be role models really for all of humanity subhanAllah really thinking about these things um but despite all of that everything i just said i still want to affirm to everybody that definitely there is still a sense of anxiety and difficulty in all of this that we're feeling and i want to tell you why some people are asking why is this hitting us so hard why is this hitting us so hard and um of course there is the piece of we don't know what's coming like we don't know what this is and and we think about this tiny little bidi microscopic virus and Allah says there's different ayats in the quran where he's drawing parables and comparisons you know there is the ayah for example where he draws a comparison to you know um to the the wing of a moth right a tiny tiny little thing and another verse he draws the comparison of this one the ba'udah right and here he draws the comparison of the mustard seed a tiny tiny little tiny little seed the smallest of all and he draws comparison to these little things and how they can have such a big effect and you think directly of COVID-19 tiny little thing and having a massive effect on people bringing us down to our knees literally you know in prayer um but the anxieties around it are not just because of the fear of the unknown and the fear of what's coming and the changes of circumstances around us staying at home to work and keeping kids at home and being quarantined but also you have to think about really a couple more things i started off the talk talking about christ church really the reality for the modern muslim you know the effects of the of the trauma and the anxieties that we're feeling are cumulative like it's it's not a month or week goes by that there isn't some terrible news right i mean just the other day i saw this and i was so appalled and speaking of teaching a course on xenophobia and the coronavirus and everything else the the the front page of the new york times article on trump banning uh doing the european travel ban of basically people not coming from europe unless they're american banning them the picture that they had was a picture of a mestre in turkey on the asian side not even on the european side like i mean talk about the mix of xenophobia and soma phobia and corona virus all mixed in together so kind of like you know it's like you can't help but see soma phobic attacks one after another after another right difficult you know difficult traumas maybe personal things but also communal things also global crises that we see ourselves in you know you think about the you go muslims you think about yemen and all the difficulties and people in idlib there's humanitarian crisis crises everywhere around us right and then there's at home kind of a soma phobic attacks and and eating you know personal difficulties so this is a cumulative effect so when you're feeling really really anxious and really really your your stress levels seem really really high this is part of the reason why right there's also a fear for many of for many here i mean this is a typically a friday night holocaust for women and for many of the women they're also moms and for the moms and dads too of course there's also the fear for the kids right there is people hearing about how this virus really affects the immuno compromise and many of you are caretakers of the young and of the many of you are in between generation where you have your parents or in-laws and you have your children and you're in between taking care of you know two different generations and those extreme ages are the ones that tend to be affected the most some of you are carrying children emotional at pregnancy and and immuno compromised in that way as well so there's all these different aspects so there is the fear for our safety right the cumulative effect of trauma there is the fear of the unknown there is a fear of how to help the elderly and the children there is the fear of that our safe places like our massages and our gathering places like our holocausts are taken away from us so when when these things happen don't um don't say to yourself oh this shouldn't be the case i shouldn't feel this way no rather we say to ourselves that this is a common reaction and there are ways to cope in a healthy manner with these reactions so let me tell you a little bit about this you know first and foremost i really wanted what we're doing tonight for example is healing in the fact that we are what talking about this bottling all up it all up doesn't ever help it's really important that you actually talk about your thoughts and your feelings particularly with loved ones and people who you trust right share with each other be vulnerable with each other and actually share because once you say to a friend hey i'm having a really rough time with this the other person might say me too and then you have a common ground and you're not feeling like you're the only one and ashamed of the feelings that you have right you find that actually everybody else or many many other people are also feeling this way too and therefore it's safe it feels safe to actually be able to talk and it takes the load off so i really actually encourage this i also encourage you to remember those who are having difficult times this helps a lot of people you know thinking about those who are in more difficult straits for example i have been thinking and later when i talk about practical tips i really want to talk about those you know many people so many people are i don't want to use the word hoarding but it feels like that but they're stockpiling right they're really building up their essentials because we don't know what's happening next in terms of quarantine and voluntary are we going to have what happened to italy happened to us a voluntary quarantine and so on so they're kind of like building up and stockpiling on the rice and the beans and this pasta and the essentials and so on but then i think about those who don't have the ability to do that i think about in california here we have a lot of homeless people a lot of people who live in the street because it's normally throughout the year for the most part it is warm and there's not that fear of freezing to death on the street although of course it still happens and i think about people who work hourly jobs or people who are dependent on tips because they work in like a restaurant business and so many people are not going out to eat and so many people that have hourly jobs are not being you know the jobs are not happening because people are not going out and they're being severely impacted and although they had a roof over their heads now they might be homeless too and i think about all those people that are in a lesser situation or a more difficult situation than what i am in i think about my folks for example today and think about the lack of electricity and water and running and so on and yet still saying it hamdulillah despite the very confusing situation they're in it helps to remember what other people are going through too but never to minimize your reality because your reality is your personal reality and i see this in therapy people do this a lot they say well at least they have a very difficult thing happening in their life and then they'll say well at least i'm not like a refugee that's in such and such country and i say well it was being a refugee ever your reality and for most of them they've never been a refugee and so i say then why why are you comparing that right this moment you have your reality and it's a big difficulty happening so don't minimize that right but it does help to also remember the reality of other people as well and for some people this is very helpful for other people they're very action-oriented and so i said i would talk about action-oriented practical things especially now that we have the kids kind of with us they're the most part many of you have your kids are going to be home for the next foreseeable future and so you know taking actionable things like all the extra things we bought maybe we have a little too much toothpaste or a little too much rice or a little too much whatever and making little bags honestly like little ziploc bags you know that you could actually hand out and they should see you too also hand out to the guy or the lady on the street who's asking for money or who's begging or who's homeless even if they're not asking for anything right taking action and that helps calm some people too right um taking action could also be making sure that you check in on those who are the most vulnerable in the community like the elderly who no one is checking in on or maybe they're your own elder family members they live in their own place and you don't want to keep because of social distancing you don't want to keep visiting grandparents for example and so you're doing a lot of face timing but you're constantly checking in and maybe they're not your own biological parents or grandparents but they're like the unto your uncle in the community who don't have children you know or maybe their children were far away or maybe they're alone and so you FaceTime them as well and that helps right that all helps also I want to say you know seeking support is really important like all these things that we're talking about could help to an extent but for some people the anxiety is even deeper and even more helpful and of course as a mental health professional I'm going to have to say this which is definitely seek help from professionals if all the resources we mentioned aren't quite cutting the anxiety enough right and now a lot of the mental health professionals are doing therapy online you know at the Khalil Center for example which is where I'm sitting today we're actually doing therapy now through the online system and it's much more easily accessible without having to even leave your home so seek out the help from people from the professionals who are able to help you even further right on your own than being on your own and lastly with the part about coping with the reactions I really want to say you know taking time and taking time and SubhanAllah it's like Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala gave us nothing but more time in this these next few weeks I mean think about it so many people are working from home yes you may be working but you're home which means you've cut out the commute you've cut out the socializing with the peers you've cut out the talk around the water you know dispenser you've you've cut out the extra meetings right so so you know or the social gatherings you know you've cut out all not even work related just does just social gatherings right you are home a whole lot more SubhanAllah right or in very very small groups and not in large gatherings anymore even like this the cutting out of whatever the rise have been our Friday night halakha and the kids halakhas and so on at the Friday night at the masjid all of that is cut out which means there's actually more time and time is actually a blessing of Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and something we need to again we don't appreciate something until it's taken away from this we don't want time to be taken away rather we want to appreciate the time we're given so how do you actually make use of that time well for example I asked some homeschooled kids who are close to me and I said you know you guys are homeschooled so you're home a lot so for all the kids who are staying at home these days and are going to be staying at home soon and are kind of really unhappy about this what advice would you give them and they said this is a time to consider it like an extended spring break because for many people spring break is about to come it's like a long spring break and you get to do all the things you didn't get to do before and I said like what they said well going into pulling out all toys you haven't played within a long time or maybe something new that you craft that you wanted to do but you couldn't get to because you're always busy and maybe you wanted to do something with family members you know your folks but they were always so busy too and now it's like family time right and I thought what an interesting answer right because it could have been like we're so bored you know as the answer and maybe they will get there and that's probably part of the reality of all of this that Allah has given us more time so really reflecting on what can you do with that time particularly since Serajah and Shabbat is around the corner and al-Muban is also right around the corner and this is that time of the year where we would definitely be talking about come on everybody don't don't wait until al-Muban to jump head first into it because then you'll just crash right we always talk about Serajah and Shabbat al-Muban being the marathon right kind of don't try to sprint into al-Muban but take it slowly as a marathon and part of that is start upping your fasting and again as women mostly in the class right now we probably have many of us still have fasts to make up perfect time to start fasting right for reading al-Quran if we've neglected it and the mushaf has collected dust over the year this is the time and Allah has given us more time to let dust off that mushaf and start reading and to get ready for if you really want to try to do a khatim al-Muban get through get try to get kind of practice and get going before we enter in Sura Muban this is a time of vikad and remembering this a lot of this this again this little itty bitty thing that's bringing us down to our knees right and the whole world is getting shut down because of it this is the time to turn to the one who brought the disease this virus to remember that the virus in and of itself can't help anyone and can't harm anyone unless Allah wills it truly you may have been already exposed to i mean there's very all the scary news about which is reality but scary news never will us about you know you may be infected but not even know it because you may not show symptoms for so many days and you think about like here we are this tiny little thing that we can't even see and that some of us could actually be carrying it but not got sick and that's the will of Allah and the next person right next to us our family or next to us can be carrying it and get sick and that is the will of Allah so this is the time we really turn to Allah right the one who gave the virus and gave it its ability to either hurt or harm us only he had that ability subhan Allah those of you who have been in the sida class with me you have been through the year you remember now this is where i'm going to quiz you a little bit but you remember for example the life of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and how he was very very much affected by the idea of illness and disease from his earliest days before he was even born do you remember since i can't hear you guys i'm going to have to i'm going to have to just tell you inshallah but i hope you by quizzing you remember this that the what is the cause or reason for the prophet's father's death sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and we learned in the sida that the prophet's father before he was born his mother aminah was still pregnant with him when his father traveled to go visit his family members in the city of yathrib which is down modern day madina and there was the fever of madina that affected right it was a contagious fever possibly a virus alohu anam but it was those who were not from that area when they went into madina they would often get ill be fallen by the illness or sickness of the fever of madina and unfortunately his father caught that illness and because of its succumbed to his death and died before the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was born now fast forward just a few more years in the sida of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that we learned about together and what is the cause of the prophet's mother's death do you guys remember the prophet was about roughly six years of age his mother took him to go and travel to visit his father's uncles in the city of yathrib madina and she too caught the fever an illness of yathrib and also succumbed to her death and was buried on her way back to mecca and the prophet was then twice orphaned because of this illness so you think about how directly that impacted the life of the prophet himself sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and in the prophet's lifetime of course there were sahaba who passed away from different illnesses but then in the he foretold he prophesied that there would be a major plague that would take the life of many of the sahaba and the sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and this he prophesied this in the ninth year of hijrah and truly this happened that in the caliphate of Sayyidina Umar radiallahu anhu in fact a plague came in bilaad-e-sham that actually claimed the life of many of the sahaba at that time so when people say hey is this the first time these kind of epidemics or even pandemics happen in history that in that case it was epidemic the answer is no and therefore islam has rules that govern all of these different things right it actually governs therefore when people are asking questions like how is this the first time in history there hasn't been a juma and the answer is no in fact the books of fiqh in the chapter of prayer discuss this that today there was a viral tweet and message going around about the levin in different countries across the world who were calling the call to prayer and in the call say and pray in your homes and that is exactly verbatim what it says in the books of fiqh that we study in the chapter of prayer it says under the section of inclement weather things like heavy heavy heavy heavy rains and mud for example or storms or heavy heavy heavy winds right and different madahab or different schools of law have different opinions on what qualifies but it'll actually the levin will say that and then we'll say and pray in your homes stay in your homes right this is something that is aslam is a religion for all times and all places all people and all weather and all circumstances so it's built into it laws and rules that encompass all of this masha'Allah right so we have to also remember this kind of thing and so the whole thing with juma you know granted the message it all around we're closing because of the recommend cancelling rather juma because of the recommendation to not have large gatherings or even even even smallish gatherings however um the concept of not praying juma all together is something again we said what did Allah give us he gave us a lot of time what did he give us a lot of time with our families and so when next friday comes around probably my message will still be closed however if you have the minimum requirement for a juma pray a home-based juma right it has to be you have to have the minimum of like the imam and the you know and anybody by the way can be an imam anyone can give a chutzpah and and do the juma that knows how to but if you have three um men who have reached or even boys have reached the age of puberty right and onward right and you have the imam right the quorum of three plus one you can pray this so i you know think about it like you have your you know husband who's working from home and you have your brother in laws and you have a maybe your brother is your father or your grandfather or whoever right and there's a you know basically enough to pray and maybe the the muslim neighbor next door right and so on and you can have kind of like a home-based prayer and even if you can't even if you don't have the quorum and can't do the full-on juma and by the way the basic requirements are super super simple but even if you can't quite do this and you just have maybe your kids with you right you can still do a prayer together like take that time of juma that otherwise would have been in the message listening to a khutbah to turn on a lecture and listen to it right and then pray your four dachas of puhut together right as women we are fairly comfortable with the idea of either praying juma or a place that's praying juma in a space of juma or praying puhut right it's it's the men who are kind of like whoa this is new for us right and it is of course new for them because of the obligation of the Friday prayer for them but a lot of people are having similar worries about Ramadan and specifically related to you know tarawih and gatherings for for many people in their mind the Ramadan is communal breaking of fast and communal prayers and you're right that is kind of some of the biggest highlights of the Ramadan and now as we think about even if thought is even inviting family members over and friends over and social gatherings and these big of thoughts I am so thankful those of you have heard my lectures before related to Ramadan or Ramadan prep and getting the spirituality for a woman out of Ramadan you know how much I did test large if thoughts because I feel like the burden always falls on the shoulders of the woman right I always I'm baffled by how many women do not get to experience the spiritual aspects of Ramadan because they do these large if thoughts and they feel pressured or their families expect them to and I always talk about how you know it takes several days to prep and in those several days you're not doing your put on you're not doing your if you're barely getting to prayers you're certainly not doing subtle we're you know you know prepping prepping prepping and then the day of the thought you're and I have talked to a woman who swear to me that in Ramadan and in fasting that they are so busy with the prep they have literally forgotten to pray Haji you know it's it's mind-blowing they're home it's not like they're out right and so all because they're getting ready for this big mass of the thought they're about to put on and then the thought comes and people eat in exactly like 15 minutes they're done eating and then what do the men do rush off to Farawih and where are the women cleaning up the mess right and for the next right two days you're kind of cleaning up the mess so there goes effectively your entire five days right and every time you do one of these that's another four to five days worth of Ramadan lost and by the time you count four or five of these that's your entire month of Ramadan and for so many women that is all that Ramadan is they're like well at least I said people yeah Habib the the idea of feeding people the the hadith that talks about the the reward of breaking someone else's fast literally says and even with a half of a date you get the reward of the other person you broke their fast not a feast inshallah so you know how I feel about this so I'm already saying Alhamdulillah we're going to have less of these large iftar right because honestly for women they really do not get the most out of their Ramadan because of this right and then there's other lectures on the Rahmah foundation you can access them inshallah I won't spend more time on this topic but to say that we talk about the spiritual aspects of Ramadan and fasting and how to curtail and minimize you know the loss of time in food prep but still of course making sure that there's you know everybody who's fasting is eating well inshallah and so on but really honestly um you know the communal feasts at one time there was a news reporter that was trying to report in Ramadan and she was trying to say it's the month of fasting but somehow she got it all mixed up and she said on the news report and Ramadan is the Muslim month of feasting and I was like no no no and then you know what I was like actually for some people that's all it ends up being subhanAllah and it's not the point of the month and for other people their worries about Ramadan are about sarawih and communal prayer because that's such a kind of a trademark or hallmark of the Ramadan but I hear it too well speaking of Sida since you know we've been doing Sida I've shared with you a little bit about this topic as well and how when the Ramadan sorry Sarawih was the command of Sarawih came to the Prophet ﷺ it actually came down and in his own lifetime this is where people get very very most people don't even know the story it's kind of like unfortunately lost in our history but when the Ramadan was when Sarawih was brought to the Prophet ﷺ in Ramadan on the first night that it came the Prophet ﷺ prayed it in his Masjid after Asha and some of the companions noticed that he prayed something extra so they thought oh there's a new prayer that's been commanded by Allah swt and so he was praying and they joined him the next night more people joined him and they told other people hey the Prophet has a prayer that he's praying after Asha how exciting let's pray and by the third night more people came out to you know join the prayer but the Prophet prayed in his home and later he came out and he said to them it's not unknown to me it was not unknown to me that you all were here waiting for me however I chose to pray in my home because I feared that you would take this Sarawih to be a fard instead of a sunnah and therefore and until the the the Prophet's death ﷺ he prayed Sarawih in his home and so did all of the companions and it continued this way through the Khilafah of Abu Bakr al-Sattiq and it continued this way into a portion of the Caliphate of Sayyidina Umar radiallahu anhu until Sayyidina Umar felt like the masajid had become empty and people weren't taking tarawih seriously and they weren't doing the sunnah of tarawih altogether and then he commanded that Sarawih be brought back into the masjid as a communal prayer and it is he who instituted the 20 rakahs so some people even call it a sunnah or mariya because he because Sarawih can be as minimum as two or as maxes however many and people say well what was the sunnah of the Prophet you know because really tarawih what it is is part of a qiyam night it's happening in Ramadan and so 20 became the you know the consistent number that was prayed for many many generations and it fluctuated all throughout Islamic history that number would change slightly right but and nevertheless the idea here is the idea here is for Ramadan for tarawih that it was first and foremost a sunnah that was prayed at home and yes there was a strong sunnah of what praying it communally however just because we're prevented from praying it congregational or community in Jama'a it should not prevent us from praying it so when you pray at home by yourself or with your small group family praying it then you say Alhamdulillah I'm adopting the sunnah the Prophet himself sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who prays at home so all of that anxiety see if we knew our seerah if we knew our history if we knew the the back story of things we wouldn't necessarily feel as anxious and have this difficulty right with with some of these worries that we're coming through with the back worries but granted nevertheless it is something we are considering and thinking about but I wanted to share with you that back story that has stored the part of our history that we've lost and don't know anymore also here you know for for those of you who attended the holocaust before you know that one of my very favorite topics very very favorite topics in which there are recordings on this at rachna foundation as well is the concept of the aftikaf or spiritual seclusion for a woman and this too is something people are anxious about saying oh we always do aftikaf in the month of Ramadan and for the men they will be more impacted by this because men can only do aftikaf in the masjid the woman can do aftikaf in their homes right and they are not limited by Ramadan because the sunnah the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was he would do aftikaf yearly which was Ramadan he would do aftikaf monthly right in certain times of the month he would do aftikaf weekly particularly on the night of thursday into friday he would do aftikaf daily in certain times like between maghrib and aisha right the kind of time we're in right now or um uh you know at the fajr time and so his sunnah was to be constantly in a state of throughout the the year he was doing aftikaf and he was not limited to just Ramadan and so many people try to finish in whole aftikaf to just Ramadan now i had just said earlier what did Allah give us with this pandemic that we're dealing with he gave us time and when you have time what do you need for aftikaf the most important ingredient is what time and often people do not have the time to sit and reflect and go into a spiritual seclusion now i encourage you inshaAllah we don't have time to go for all the rules and maybe we'll do a different recording or you can access the ones on the rahmah foundation previously on the woman's aftikaf because it's very very simple very very simple because it's only a matter of saying your intention and blocking out the space in your room or your home for your spiritual seclusion your aftikaf and if there's ever a time for spiritual seclusion and really contemplating on why Allah has sent this pandemic to humanity it is now right to do aftikaf and i think about how you know this hadith where the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said how wonderful is the monastery of a believer is his home right and this concept of doing aftikaf or there's another word we use of khalwa you know being in seclusion is a beautiful thing and for the woman's aftikaf it doesn't have to be days on end it could actually be even just minutes hours portions of the day short bits of time is sufficient enough for aftikaf right and you intend to go on aftikaf and you spend some time in that spiritual seclusion on your prayer rug or the space of aftikaf that you designated in your home and you do prayer you do the kid you read Quran you do Tafakkur Tafakkur Tadabpur what those translate into is contemplation doing the kid or remembrance of Allah right doing thinking about the blessing Allah has given us like as much as we are anxious about all of what's happening and worried about it the reality is we actually still have electricity and running water as of now and how did he know right unlike my parents who I called earlier and had none of that and for example we still have a sense of safety even though we can't enter into our masajid at the moment or have juma's rather into enters them still we can't have juma in them but we can have these small congregations in our homes still right we're not prevented like those who are in dictatorships in which they will not allow you to go into a muslim space or if you do you get hit into a prison underground right there isn't that persecution right think about those blessings do you think about the blessings of those of you who are those of us who are still healthy and even if we're carrying the virus but not immunocompromise right and for those of us who may get sick but recover alhamdulillah right and for those of us who may get sick and for it is an expiation of our sin and may Allah help us recover alhamdulillah right and for those of us who are our children in health and blessings around us alhamdulillah and that our elders are still well and alhamdulillah right there's so much to be thankful for right my teacher would say that one of the best ways to do acts of ibadah to do in a tika is to start from your head and go to your feet and to thank Allah everything from Allah these eyes that you've given me right if i had this this quarter i had a student who is visually disabled had a visual disability in my class and she always had her dog with her and and it was the first time i had a student in my class who had a visual disability and it was so interesting to me to teach a student who um i would have you know either i was writing something on the whiteboard or had a you know the powerpoint running the slides and every so often i would point to something and then i remember she couldn't see it or i would want to play um you know play something play uh like a ted talk or something and alhamdulillah she could hear it but she couldn't see it and i would make references to and did you see on and i'd remember oh i have a student who so like really made me like reframe the way i was teaching by one student in the class and i think about what if that was me held my life drastically change right these are the kind of blessings we don't know the blessings we have in the meaning of them until they're gone right this is the point of spiritual seclusion that's the point of tika that is the point of doing this step would answer fuck with concept because you don't it's to thank Allah for what you have before it's gone like Allah says remember me in times of ease i will remember you in times of hardship right but as most as people as human beings our very nature is that we take things for granted we don't think about them until they're gone right so that this that Allah has given us a sunnah that we we learned from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and it is said it is so much one of his strongest sunnahs that it said about him that if there was ever a sunnah that was so close to footed because he never left in most sunnahs we know there are sunnahs because sometimes he would do them sometimes he'd leave them to teach us they were sunnah not footed however atika was the one sunnah one of the sunnah he never ever ever left so the scholars would say if there was ever a sunnah that we would have thought it would have been a footed it would have been atika right my teachers describe it as you know the pressure cooker those of you who ever used a pressure cooker you know that a pressure cooker has a valve a steam valve and it allows the steam to go out and if you forget to turn that on or if you especially the old ones you know right builds builds builds pressure anxiety pressure anxiety difficulty pressure stress stress right builds builds builds and if there is no valve to let the steam out what happens the whole thing explodes and that is exactly like us and so my teacher would often say atika is your valve your steam valve that otherwise you're going to explode or implode right without it you must have atika in your life and woman and hamdiden now we can have atika in our very homes and now we have even more time than before yes you may have kids at home and yes you may have your spouse at home working and yes you may have and you're trying to juggle all of this strangeness that hasn't been there before but nevertheless by and large there's just more time right and so with that I just want to really you know kind of emphasize the use that we can get being again that we're mothers there's one more major thing that I wanted to make sure that we talked about today and that is kids there are a lot of people who are who are really concerned about you know anxious about being quarantined with their kids or their kids just being home from school for extended periods of time and they're just worried and thinking you know wondering about their sanity levels of sanity you know mashallah because after a first it's like yeah we're on vacation but the problem is you can't really go anywhere and you can't really have sleepovers and play dates right which otherwise could have distracted the kids there you know because again as Muslims we're following the precautions that are put in place and you can't have the friends over and the cousins over is on the whatever you know mashallah so like and then your alternatives are like tech which we really want to discourage using it intensely you know this is the time to really connect on a person to person level for some extent so this is where the board games come out of the puzzles come out and the all the all the crafty things if your kids are interested in crafting right the knitting and the sewing and the and the you know the what do you call that the um you know the whole big bucket of Legos it comes out in the building together right and really using your creativity and it does require more of you but you know we're often told by experts in the field that children even though they may say no no I rather watch a movie no no I want to play this video game no no I want to do this whatever um that there is actually no substitute to the direct interaction of parent and child and again this is a different topic for a different day we talk about the rahmah foundation we also have the raising of spiritual child series and this concept of like getting to their level and being with them and listening to them and listening to their fears too because by the way they're scared also last year in christ church when this happened we did a whole webinar in a whole article that's on muslim matters that you could read about how do you talk to your children about difficult and fearful and anxiety driven things right and this is a really important concept but one of them is listening to them because they're they're picking up a lot of what you're role modeling and they're picking up on so if you're really getting really anxious about this they are too and if you're kind of like okay this is a strange circumstance that we're in la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah right you know hasbi allah wa na'am al wakil you know you're going to find that by and large they're kind of also sort of be like la hawla wa la quwwata illa billah you know I had a friend that I have to say this and I'll give her credit for this later that she posted on one of our threads that their family did a family jumma today at home and um and uh and they they try to they try to mimic what would happen in jumma so you know like after the Friday prayers usually somebody gets up and does announcements right for the and so as kind of jokingly you know they said you know who wants to do announcements for jumma uh kind of like what would have happened in the message and she said her son got up and she said without even missing a beat he said a little son he got up and he said there's a block sedan that's parked illegally in front of the parking lot you know all of them just dissolved into laughter because that's usually the announcements that would happen in jumma and um and there are little moments like that that are just precious and they're worth it and they require more time from you whether that time is in crafting or in creativity or coming up with imaginary scenarios in worlds if for little kids for them to play in or if they're older kids you know really trying to get into some deeper discussions and not just 100 tech but I'm with you this is going to be hard I don't know exactly what to do being vulnerable with you too mashaAllah but I think like Allah's path Allah tells us you know if you ask me I will give you and if you thank me I will increase you right that if you um thank me I will increase you mashaAllah so if we thank him for the many things that we do have still right he will give us openings and give us more inshaAllah ta'ala and so with that you know um I'm going to share with you a couple of the things that I a couple of the ayaat of quran that I and and I'm going to end with these that I have really benefited from that I hold on to in times like this and just a reminder for me myself first and all the view inshaAllah that in surat al-baqarah Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala reminds us you know la yuklifu allahu nafs an illa wa saaha that Allah does not burden a soul more than it can bear and so if Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sent us this difficulty and this tribulation this trial that he sent to us and clear clearly there is something from it that he wishes from us to take away from it um and maybe many of us will not get ill alhamdulillah but what is the wisdom in all of this you know that is the and maybe some of us will get ill and may Allah protect us and um and bring us to shifa dam you know full and complete remission of the illness inshaAllah ta'ala but I think about this as a believer as a as a faithful person a person of faith and when you think about things when they become really overwhelming like this you have to always remember that Allah has told us that when times are tough he's made us tougher and that whatever he brings our way he will make it go away and that if he brought us a philosophy that brought us to it he will bring us through it inshaAllah ta'ala and I think that's really really core I mean those are words I hold on to because the Quran is clear and Allah has made that oath right that he will not burn in the soul more than it can bear and he reminds us you know um you know right that he will not actually nothing will happen to us except what is written or ordained for us and so it's true like I said earlier the part that the truth of what Allah has written for you is going to come to you but we also tire countless inshaAllah and the hadith that I really the hadith khutzi of the prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam that I think is really really powerful and I'm going to read it to you because I think this is key to our discussion where he says sallallahu alayhi wasallam he says be mindful of Allah and Allah will protect you be mindful of Allah and you will find him in front of you if you ask then ask of Allah and if you seek help then seek help from Allah and know if all the nations were together together to benefit you to bring you good they can only benefit you with what Allah has already prescribed for you and if all the people nations were together to harm you they can only harm you with what Allah has already written for you the pens have been lifted and the ink has dried and that is powerful powerful powerful you know that if you're going to ask for help ask of Allah and if you're going to seek out that help seek it from Allah and know that nothing can harm you except that it's already written for you and nothing can help you except that it's already written for you and this is the place of a person of faith they are mindful of Allah they are God conscious and God centered right and the other hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam where he says be mindful of Allah and you'll find him in front of you and recognize and acknowledge Allah in times of ease and prosperity he will remember you in times of adversity like we said earlier so alhamdulillah these are kind of things that with victory comes patience relief with affliction hardship with ease these are all parts of the hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam told us about and i hope that inshallah some of these words remind us of where of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala stands with us in these moments that he sent us lessons to learn but he sent us also you know inna ma ala usra yusra with every difficulty comes ease and sometimes people mistranslate this and say you know after every difficulty comes ease and it's not it's ma'a it's with it's with every difficulty comes ease and with this pandemic this is a tribulation and difficulty but with it will come ease and each person will see that in his own way subhanallah how that ease comes so i pray for you and me that inshallah shows us that ease um and this tribulation that we're all kind of collectively entering into that we come out of it with tawheer and part of that is tawheer of that purification is asking Allah for repentance for forgiveness and wouldn't it be neat if each and every one of us went back into our you know our khaluas into our atikafs and did our just not our remembrance but also did our forgiveness our asking Allah for forgiveness and in that we each did a full tawba ya Allah you sent this difficult thing to us you know and what is your wisdom in it is it for us to ask forgiveness for you how we transgressed against humanity how we transgressed against the animal kingdom how we transgressed against each other how we can transgress against the environment what is it ya Rabbi what is the wisdom in which that you're teaching us the plagues that have come before us and the illnesses that have come before and the mass diseases that have come before this one is affecting so many people at once across the globe right and because we're also connected you hear and you're so quicker much quicker than you ever had in history before right so it's scarier so when you think about this pandemic that's happening ya Allah what is the wisdom you're bringing with us and and with that you know I'm really reflecting on how um uh the repentance asking Allah for forgiveness because should it be transgression that's bringing this iptila this tribulation then wouldn't it be neat that if each and every woman and each and every man each and every person did a personal tawba that there would also be like this communal tawba like here those of us from california this like san francisco bay area tawba and this la tawba and this california tawba and this you know eventually different states this american tawba and then it's like a worldwide tawba and it's like tawba across the world to make this go away maybe it's time for a collective tawba and repentance globally um and so I hope inshallah that we're going to take that very very seriously and thinking about why Allah has sent this to us but also knowing that with it will come ease as well and inshallah connectedness alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin I hope this was on a useful discussion for all of you I hope inshallah ta'ala that uh I know some of you have had some questions here on the panel on the side and I believe we do have a couple of minutes for some questions that I will read you know from the chat box that you've written here but I do encourage you as well to um join us inshallah in our future make sure that you're signed up with us at the rahmah foundation so that you know when we're having our halakas and classes and join our live streams and join our um you know monthly sessions that go out with uh for sisters throughout not just locally but throughout the country inshallah ta'ala alhamdulillahi rabbil alamin um there's definitely and and I do have to put in this one last thing um you know I've heard some of the imams talking today and in the last you know on our kind of scholars lists and threads people are saying oh one of them it's interesting different people are worried about different things and so some of the leadership is worried about how in Ramadan we won't have our collective uh get-togethers and so therefore no fundraising and so subhanallah that's what they're one of the things they're worried about which makes sense because funds are what allow institutions to run and programs to run and Ramadan is the time of the year when that really funnels in and so um so the imams were saying you know we'll still do online fundraisers so with that inshallah but also say the rahmah foundation is a non-profit that also runs on on your donations and please do um you know donate to that effort inshallah ta'ala so we can continue these types of programming and so inshallah and you're seeing all kinds of wonderful slides there is our link to donations inshallah ta'ala um a couple of you have asked some questions I'll answer them very briefly before we close off for tonight um some have asked questions related to the ar-tikaf and inshallah hopefully we'll actually do an entire lecture on this we have some recordings but maybe we'll do a fresh one to really go through the rules of ar-tikaf for a woman and um some have asked can a woman do ar-tikaf while she is menstruating on her height and the answer is um the ar-tikaf requires purity it requires you to be in a state of tahadah and so even though you can't formally be in a state of ar-tikaf when you're on your period there are so many other types of ar-tikaf that you can do while you're on your period and that is an important lesson and discussion that we should also have as women um and this last several weeks I've been doing this course with girls women still untangled and we have outlined how the vast majority of the things that you can do on your period and it's only the minority of things that you can't do while on your period inshallah we'll try to have that um we'll have that you know kind of talk coming up for the rahmah foundation classes if you're interested in learning more about that also um some people have asked what about creative ideas and suggestions about supporting people who are vulnerable and needy in the community really this is where your creativity and and brain power is going to have to come in um I was really thinking earlier you know looking at the things that have been stockpiled right um and thinking about well do we need every single one of these bags of rice every single one of these bags of beans or maybe things that are those who are for example homeless maybe that's not going to be very useful necessarily to give them the things like the toothpaste and the deodorants and the warm blanket and the someone especially at times where they are probably even more susceptible to COVID-19 than anyone else where we can isolate in our homes they don't have a home to go isolate in right so even more susceptible and vulnerable so how do you help and in what capacities um and so this is where it's going to take creativity but if anything especially the up children kind of like hunkering down with them and have them think about what are the best ways and maybe each pulling something you know of the extras that are around in the house of pulling together these kits right to give people I've been seeing different things online where people are pulling together um little ziploc bags and putting the hand sanitizer and the wipes and the you know and the um bar of soap and so on in these little care packages and giving them to those who are unable to get out like the elderly or like the um the homeless and so on so I would encourage you to to think about um those creative ideas as well inshallah to ana I think there's been a the last question inshallah that I'll take um some people have been asking um uh the how do you I mentioned something related to Juma prayers and I want to clarify that and uh I want to be be very very clear that when I mentioned the Hanafi ruling on praying um you know with the imam plus three and imam of course can be like your husband or your son who has reached the age of puberty um plus three more people and then everyone else who'd like to join like if there are other women in the family or kids in the family that can join that I want to be very clear that the rule in the Hanafi school of the musallah which doesn't have to be inside of a masjid but can be a musallah or place of prayer um that's non-mastered so think about people who are like the kids who are in high school who pray and maybe there's just a small group of them they may borrow the or take the Hanafi opinion and pray and like a classroom for example and they call it a Juma and that's taken um and accepted because the quorum is only three plus one um but I also want to say that the rule for that is of that musallah space is that it's accessible so when I say home what I mean by that is that it has to be something people can access so that's why I mentioned not just the members of the family but maybe also your muslim neighbor or friend who are not ill okay and also people and also for a very short period of time Juma does not have to the khutba does not have to be very long in fact the minimum can just be liquid and I'm sure there are other resources out there that you can access if you really would not like to know how to do this and as I mentioned if you can't do this like there are alternatives of course the alternative is praying the fordakas of lukhut and doing other things on the friday on the day of juma of friday to still keep up with the friday concept like listening if you otherwise would have listened to a khutba then if you're not in the masjid listen to it online for example it's not going to be a khutba but it'll be you know an online lecture in the space of time that you would have listened to it or doing a vikot for example together with your family keeping up with the reading of you know sort of said kaaf for example things like that shouldn't be disrupted even though the juma itself is cancelled so I hope that kind of clarifies that a little bit inshallah to aida all right with that inshallah abarak allahu feekum inshallah I hope this was useful we hope inshallah that we will see you all very soon again make sure that you're part of our rahmah foundation mailing list you can go to our website and and and join it there on our facebook page or on our twitter account online and again we ask you inshallah to keep us in your du'as keep each other in your du'as and with that we'll do our closing du'a alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen wa sallallahu ala sayyidina muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sahbihi wa sallam ajma'een ya rabbiya kareem oh allah oh rabbil alameen oh merciful shower your mercy down upon us oh lord of the world oh lord of the small and the unseen that has brought us to our knees we ask ya rabbil alameen to lift from us this balaa and this difficulty ya rabbi lift it from our family members and from our friends and from our relatives and from our neighbors and from the people in our neighborhoods and the people across the nation and the people across the country and globally and the people of the umna and the people of humanity ya rabbil alameen we ask you to be people who are god-centered people who are god-conscious people are connected to you people ya rabbil alameen who do not lose faith or shaken by difficulties like this ya rabbil alameen we ask you to keep us steadfast on the straight track until the last day ya rabbil don't let us fall or falter off of the straight track ever ya kareem ya rabbil we know loved ones or family members that have strayed from it we ask you to bring them back ya kareem rudduhum ila deenaka muraddatan muraddatan jamila ya rabbil alameen bring them back in a beautiful and gentle manner ya rabbil let us be a reason why people come to this deen and never flee away from it ya kareem ya rabbil let us be like lighthouses in the darkness who cast their beams into the darkness and attract people to the light ya kareem ya rabbil let us be people who benefit from what we have taught us and implemented in their lives ya rabbil never let us be people who ya rabbil people who um uh who learn but do not do upon what they learn but we do not let us be from the hypocrites ya kareem ya rabbil we ask ya kareem to guide us and to help us and to uplift us and to to bring us closer to you ya rabbil we ask you to fill our hearts with love of you and love of the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam we ask to be beloved to you we ask ya rabbil alameen that our children be beloved to you and have the love of you and the love of the prophet filled their heart ya kareem ya rabbil we ask you to guide us and to guide our children and ya rabbil to help us raise them in the best manner possible ya rabbil we ask you to be people who are on the straight track and our progeny ilayon min deen until the end of time ya kareem ya rabbil alameen we ask you in this time in the tribulation ya rabbil that we are people who don't remember you just in times of tribulation but also in times of ease ya rabbil remember us in times of ease and in times of hardship ya rabbil help us and help our brothers and fellow sisters and brothers in humanity ya rabbil let us be people who help others and not and they're not self-centered and selfish yakinin ya rabbil alameen we ask you to honor us with islam and to increase us in iman and to bless us ya rabbil with ihsan ya rabbil alameen we ask you to be people who remember our sisters and brothers in faith and across the umna and sisters and brothers in humanity ya rabbil help us help them with our time with our energy with our knowledge with our money ya rabbil let us be people who are always in your service in the khidmah of this deen ya rabbil use us in this deen ya rabbil let us be those who are in khidmah of this deen ya rabbil yakinin we ask you to forgive us our sins the small and the big ya rabbil this tribulation you brought to us we do not know whether it is because of sin or whether ya rabbil it is because of a test or whether ya rabbil it is simply what you have said in the quran that we will taste a loss of life and loss of wealth and food and fruits and people ya rabbil we ask you that this tribulation that you lift it from us ya rabbil you have guaranteed that with every illness you'll send its cure ya rabbil you ought to be sending the cure you ought to be sending the cure in the hands of those who are working on it now yakinin lift this from us and help us and help those who are elderly and those who are young and those who are pregnant and those who are who are who are immunocompromised those who are already unhealthy in different illnesses and diseases yakinin we ask you to strengthen them and give them health yakinin and those of us who are not ill yet we ask ya rabbil alameen to protect us and to bring and to put a barrier between us and the illness yakinin ya rabbil alameen we ask you to relieve our anxieties and our pain and our difficulty ya rabbil we ask you to guide us and to help us ya rabbil alameen we ask you to be from people of light ya rabbil people of nur ya rabbil that on the last day that we are clearly identified from the ummah of Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam because of the nude on our faces and our limbs from our prayer and our wudu ya rabbil on that day when people run every which way that we are clearly shaded under the shade of prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam and then on the day that you ask us ya rabbil the questions that you will ask us that you are happy with our answers ya kirri ya rabbil on that day that we go straight into jannah and have nothing to do with jahannam ya rabbil protect us from jahannam ya kirri ya rabbil grant us and our parents and our teachers and our children and our family members the highest levels of jannah ya kirri and the shuhada and the ambya and the prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam virus and forgiveness and honor us ya rabbil uplift us and protect us and make us ya rabbil from those who are beloved to you wa alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen wa sallallahu hadi muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa sallam najma'een wa alaniyat al-kubul wa al-hidayah wa al-nasr wa as-salami fi kulli makan free with me sisters for acceptance of this dua surat al-fatiha I mean barak allahu fi kun we ask you inshallah that you keep us in your du'az and we'll see you in very close times barak allahu fi kun wa as-salamu alaykum wa rahmat allahi wa barakatuh


These accusations of toxic masculinity and all this bulls**t, I say I'm 100% toxic. My masculinity is extremely toxic.  Women need to listen, right? If men just speak, even if they're bold and brash, and they even care, even if they're sincere, right? Ultimately, most of fatherhood is mansplaining. A father teaching his young daughter how to be a woman, how to be a good woman, this fundamentally is mansplaining. And when they accuse men of mansplaining on TV and in magazines and on the news and all this crap. Ultimately, a lot of that just, it comes down to not just culture-wide, silencing men and suppressing male voices, suppressing masculinity. It's even an attack on fatherhood, but it's covert and it's multi-layered and it's hard to understand that. It's hard to detect.