اللہ سبحانہوں وحیتہ عالیٰ بنیتا ہے. نایا میں آج ہونے کی براخت ہے کہ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ علیٰ ہمہاں کیا شامل ہستا ہے یا تھے کے بریلائیک اومان کے لعانا کی بریلائیک اومانوں کی لعانا ہے۔ ملی کے سامل کے سامنے جمہین اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ ہوتے ہیں ہے امام کیا یا اومانوں میں آج ہوتے ہیں۔ تنہ گاٹو میں جیتا ہے۔ yet another of the mothers of the community I come from who has taken away tonight we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ to grant her mercy and we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ to fill her gray with noor and to grant her paradise and to grant sabr to all those whom she has left behind as well as all those who have passed away in this community and in all the communities of the muslimin across the globe the مرحومین of this umma may Allah سبحانہ وتعالیٰ have mercy on them and the day he takes us away may he take us away with ease and may he also have mercy on us on that particular day beloved brothers and sisters we all know that marriage is a topic and everyone lights up when they hear it for those who are married they have a lesson to learn and for those who are not married they have even more lessons to learn inshallah we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ to grant us goodness the prophet ﷺ has told us something very very strong and powerful he says i guarantee paradise for certain people if you guarantee me something i guarantee you heaven i guarantee you paradise so what did he say he says who guarantees me the correct use of what is between the cheeks and the correct use of what is between the thighs i guarantee them paradise اللہ اکبر it sounds nice and simple but our whole life rotates around it you can guarantee the correct use of your tongue and your private parts اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ is telling you through the lips of the most blessed that you have a guarantee of paradise مئے اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ جنہ then اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ tells us creature of ours we've created in pairs if only but you would remember or in order that you may remember and be reminded سبحانہ اللہ we have positive and negative we have male and female we have live and neutral we have the sun and the night or should i say the day and the night everything we have in pairs whether it is a plant there is masculine and feminine fish masculine feminine you have the eggs and you have the masculine of it اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ grants us all understanding so it is part and parcel of the creation of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ his plan he says that indeed it is amongst the signs of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ that he has created spouses for you from amongst you for a reason and that reason is made mention in the quran in order that you may achieve comfort from your spouse in order that you may enjoy the pleasure of your spouse's company in order that you may live with pleasure and with happiness in order that you may have every reason to smile الحمدول اللہ we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ to grant that to us what happens to us nowadays before marriage we've already lived together under the shadows of shaitan so shaitan beautifies everything for us and we then marry for the wrong reasons and then what happens is once we marry shaitan's job turns 180 degrees instead of trying to make you ا now that you are automatically he wants you to fight with one another so you can commit adultery with someone else and that is why as soon as people who have married for the wrong reasons get married they then come complaining to say this was not the same person i knew before i was married the reason is sometimes the way we did it was totally wrong so let's سبحانہ و تعالیٰ حالیٰ میں ile کہ وہ آپ کے لئے کبلا میں مفارد آپ کو جسے آپ کے وشان دیتا ہے اور آپ کو کافت اور ہم کا عجز کے لئے ورادہ سمجھا ہے۔ اور indeed اللہ نے ہی چاہتہ ، اسی لقاہتہ کے لئے کبلا ہیں۔ وہ ہی چاہتہ ، اسی لقاہتہ کے لئے کبلا ہے اور ہم سے جانا ہے مدے کے لئے جسجا سبحان اللہ آپ کو غنی دیب کرنا چاہتے ہیں۔  ایک خزانت ہوا ہے جہوشرط جو مجھوز ہے جو لیکن مجھ سامنے میں اس ل ghee ہے جب اللہ نے مجھوز ہی یہی ایک چیزی جو ایک کیلے سامر ہے۔ کزشتہ سامر ہے کیونکہ آپ کو خانج Yoo دلہاں سامر ہے ایک خود ہے انہوں کے مجھے ہلکہ یہ بھی لیکنے ہوتے ہیں۔ ایک آپ ایک بہت سامر بہت ایک بہت سامر ہے۔ آپ آپ بھی بہت سامر ہوں اور بزنس جلسکار کرتے ہیں۔ اس بہت سامر کے حالت ہے۔ لیکن آپ کو محید کرنے کے لئے یہ ساتھ بہت سید ہے۔ سی سیکنڈی میں بہت بہت سکتے ہیں۔ مقالہ سبحانہ واتعالہ کا مبادہ ہے۔ مجھے سوچ کیا یہ ہے کہ کوئی کامیت کیا ہے کہ مجھے کامیت کیا ہے۔ کون کون کامیت کیا ہے کہ اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ کو محقید نہیں ہے۔ وہ کہتے ہیں کہ میں آپ کو سب سے سب سے محقید کرتا ہے۔ آپ وہ آپ کو حرام پر حرام کے بارے میں پاکتے ہیں؟  یہ یہ جیسے یہ چلیے رکھنے سے کامپالٹسری ہے ، لیکن جیسے یہ armas ہےioni کا اور نمیہ سلام و ایلے ہی جب آپ کو مجھے کیا ہے because asun'ا ڈو اس لگی ریٹلی لگی ہے، یہ کچھ مرے نکل ہے۔ ایک ڈروں میں رکھم ہی رکھنے سے ہی ہے۔ یا ایوہ الناس اتقوا ربکم اللذی خلقكم من نفس واحدہ او منکائن بی کنچس of your رب، بی کنچس of your ڈیٹر، نریشہ، چیریشہ، سسٹینہ، پروفائیڈر، بی کنچس of the one you are going to return to the one who has created you from one soul و خلق منها زوجاہا و ہی has created from that soul its spouse which means Eve or حواہ may peace be upon her was created from آدم علیہ السلام there is nothing bad to confirm that yes she was created from the rib of آدم علیہ السلام according to the narration which is correct of رسول اللہ صلا اللہ علیہ وسلم there are people who are tackling this narration that is invalid we have actually been through it and we've been through it authenticating it people who want to appease the women folk to say you were created from a crooked rib and that is why they want to start fighting the narrator of the حدیث who is Abu Huraira that is dangerous except the حدیث it is an honor to be created from something alive whereas man was created from something dead and that is soil اللہ أکبر so that is a plus point for the females ان شاء اللہ sometimes that is why the men say that is why they talk too much may Allah protect us they were created from something alive that is not what we believe we definitely believe that it is an honor of اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ for both men and women remember a woman was granted as a gift to man after he made so much dua it is reported by ابنی کثیر رحیمہ اللہ in one of his books البدایہ و النہائہ that Adam علیہ الصلاة والسلام was very lonely and he made the dua ya Allah I'm lonely imagine he was one of his kind the rest were in pairs so Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ after he made the dua for a period of time Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ one day decided to give him a gift in the form of a female may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ make us realize that females are actually gifts to us and may he make the females realize that they are meant to be living in such a way that they act like gifts to us الحمد اللہ اللہ sometimes you have females beating up the males I don't know which gift comes out of the box and beats up the one whom they are given as a gift too may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant us protection so Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us that and it's amazing how powerful it is Allah says I have created the female from the male that is a clear verse at the beginning of Suratul Nisa then he says and he has caused a multitude a multitude of growth of male and female throughout the globe from those two so we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to use us also to continue this progeny or this offspring man who will be obedient to Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ then Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says be conscious of Allah notice how it is repeating itself again Allah says be conscious of Allah because consciousness of Allah and I am adding this obviously consciousness of Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ is vital when it comes to marriage if you take a wife or if a wife has a husband and you are conscious of your duty to your creator the fact that he is watching you the fact that he is always there you will never disrespect or cheat or utter words which are bad or you will never do anything wrong because you know that Allah is there he is more able Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says those relatives of yours who are related to you through birth Allah says be conscious of them be conscious of your wives your mothers in law and so on remember a man has a role to play and that role is to strike a balance between his wife, his own mother and his parents in law and if a man is not going to play his role and run away and duck and dive he will create a bigger disaster he needs to draw lines from day one to say mom I love you the most but the love I love you is totally different from the love I love my wife that is a different type of love mom this is the line you shall not cross and my beloved wife here is a line you don't cross that is my mother you don't come and tell me stories about her if she is wrong you mention it in a very polite manner you don't fight with her maybe you can come to me and tell me in a polite manner exactly what is going on but I don't want to hear tales and fairy tales and stories which have salt and pepper added to them just to make me against my own mother اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر you will never be able to replace a mother but a wife you can have 10 of them اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر remember 4 at any given time اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر I better clarify that because people might go and say this man believes you can have 10 wives no what we mean is you can get another wife and another one if you'd like but your mother there's only one at the same time there are many mothers who are very sadly oppressive towards their daughters in law we have witnessed it and we have seen it اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر grant us understanding in the English language they are called in laws one wonder why the law has to come into place maybe the lawyers and everyone else also gets involved at some stage اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر protect us we need to have a brilliant relationship you must give your children independence after they are married the only time you interfere is when they are going against the commands of Allah if they are not reading salah or dressing inappropriately or swearing and so on then you can interfere it is your duty but whether or not they attend a function with you is up to them whether or not they live with you is up to them and you should happily allow them to live separately because that is a right that they have اللہ تعالیٰ اکبر grant us understanding my experience is those who live further away from their parents are happier with their parents than those who live within the same house that is experience we have seen it and witnessed it across the globe you cannot have two kings in one kingdom nor can you have two queens in the same kingdom so if your wife is a queen your mother is also a queen and if both want to rule they are going to cross paths at some stage it is not going to work one woman per kitchen let us try and use that rule and understand اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ really grant us understanding and yes if there are people who love each other and they are living with the live and let live policy then الحمدلہ اللہ we will encourage that as well in the rare case where mother in law is getting on with daughter in law then الحمدلہ اللہ that is نور علا نور that is light upon light it is goodness اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant that to us so اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us at the very beginning be careful, be conscious and he says اللہ is watchful over you he is writing down absolutely everything there are angels writing down what you are doing how you are thinking what you are saying behind closed doors how you are treating your wife your children those who are near you that is a verse that is read when the nikkah is about to take place in the masjid let's look at another verse اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says you who believe the first address was oh people this one here is oh you who believe be conscious of your rub as you are meant to be conscious of him and do not die accepting the condition of submission look at how the verses of consciousness are being repeated not by mistake intentionally at the time of nikkah to remind you watch out from this day be extra conscious of اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ a man who oppresses a woman اللہ who اکبر we will come to verses tonight insha Allah if Allah gives us the time otherwise we will continue tomorrow with the same topic if we do not completed insha Allah because I don't want to rush through one of the most important topics where اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us that he listens to a woman who complains directly اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protects us so اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ then has revealed another verse that we read at the same occasion اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says in Suratul Ahzab all you who believe be conscious of your creator and only utter that which is upright that which is correct that which is full of politeness that which is full of bringing people together abstain from that which will create problems and difficulty and disunity only utter that which will bring about happiness that which will bring about a smile that which will bring about justice اللہ says only utter that which is upright if you do that then definitely Allah will make pure your deeds for you and forgive your sins whosoever follows Allah and his messenger has definitely won and is very greatly victorious imagine Allah is telling you follow Allah and his messenger if your wife instructs you to do something haram you won't listen and if your husband instructs you to do something prohibited you won't listen because Allah and his messenger are to be followed before everybody else that verse also implies that directly and Allah ﷻ tells us only utter that which is upright why is it so important to mention the words of the town at the occasion of marriage because 99% of marital problems are connected to our tongues 99% of problems are connected to the way we speak in our marriages we need to utter on a daily basis words that will put a smile on the faces of our spouses we need to crack jokes which are decent in sha Allah with our spouses the prophet ﷺ did it he made his wives smile and blush and laugh as well obviously within the limits ﷺ he was as romantic as could be ﷺ there was an incident when he was eating a piece of meat and Aisha رضی الله عنہا picked up this piece of meat and bit from it and he looked at her from the corner of his eye and he watched that she was watching him so he picked up the piece of meat and he turned it around to find the place that she bit from and looking at her with the corner of his eye he then bit from exactly the same place making her blush ﷺ with us if the wife has bitten we will say if I bite I'm going to get the cough you have imagine to drink from a cup at exactly the same position that your wife drank from is the sunnah of the prophet ﷺ why do we have to wait for the month of Ramadhan to hear this type of thing may Allah ﷻ grant us understanding and protection so the prophet ﷺ has taught us a lot and this is why he says look be careful of your tongues you can utter good words or bad words say for example there is something that you notice within the marriage you need to talk communication is the most important thing in marriage a lot of women folk very sadly they are upset suddenly it takes 3 weeks to find out why they were upset and then we will find out it was something that really was not even worth mentioning and this is why advice to everyone in this verse speak that which is upright speak up when you have to speak because when you are silent when you have to speak it is also against the etiquettes of marriage and a happy home will not be be achieved we ask Allah ﷻ to grant that to us you need to talk you have a problem speak but in good words if you are sick say that look I'm not well that's why I'm not smiling a husband comes to the home after a long day at work and he sees a woman cross wallahi it puts his heart really on a different note very low note he feels like leaving the house once again but a woman to be honest with you controls the love that a man has for her in almost all cases because when a woman pampers the man and looks after him and smiles at him and waits for him and is prepared to cook for him and really do everything for him naturally even if he likes it or not at some stage he will feel an inclination towards this woman and this is why the Prophet ﷺ when he distributed his wealth and his time perfectly he then says اللہ ہم مہادا قسمی فیمہ املیک فلاتو آخذنی فیمہ لا املیک او اللہ I've distributed that which I control between my wives I am being just amongst them so now don't hold against me what I do not control and that is how much I love them they control it اللہو اکبر اللہو اکبر he said clearly I love عائشہ more than the rest فضلو عائشہ کفضلتھریدی علا سائر الطعام he says عائشہ the virtue of her عائشہ all the other women is like the virtue of the favorite food above the rest of the food when you see the favorite food ماشا اللہ you will first take it close to you and you will first eat from it اللہو اکبر so the Prophet ﷺ has instructed us and the instruction is for all of us to ensure that we are just with our wives and at the same time we realize and understand that the love generally if a man is a normal man then how much he loves his wife will mainly depend on what she does for him or what she does not do مئے اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ make our wives from amongst those who can serve us the western world is teaching us that the wife doesn't need to serve the husband and that is why you find the husband then looks outside the doors in order to look for someone whom he will get attention from someone who might cook for him because the wife says you must bring takeaways takeaways are good once in a while some people are marrying on condition but the husband brings takeaways on a daily basis or you must take me out every Saturday I won't cook if that is the case yes he might do it for us with his wealth but you lose his love اللہو اکبر the heavier you are on his pocket the less he will love you it is a fact it is natural and it happens the more demanding you are the less he loves you he will go for someone else and who would have caused that yourself with your own actions مئے اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ many men who look outside many times many times and many many times the woman is to blame but it's difficult for us to tell her because sometimes she cannot discuss the topics of what is going on behind the scenes اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ that is why he tells us how important communication is in marriage let me quickly go through some of the most important items that will make a home extremely happy if you would like a happy home and a happy marriage you need to spend the time with one another you need to spend the time with your wife and your children and your family members you need to be tolerant of one another you need to tolerate the differences that you have and speak you need to trust one another completely don't pry into each others little corners and cubicles may Allah protect us and at the same time don't give your spouse the reason to doubt you but don't ever doubt your spouse unnecessarily just by an anonymous phone call or something because that is a cancer it will lead to divorce and believe me at times people are just mischief makers all marriages go through turbulence let's understand and realize that if we are going to trust our spouses and give them a chance and tolerate and so on Insha Allah we will be able to deal with our crises another very interesting point to be tender and lenient to be calm and polite that is also a very very interesting point that we need to take or bear in mind if we'd like our marriages to work a person who is hard and harsh or a female who is hard and harsh in the way she talks others will turn away from them according to the Quran وَلَوْ کُونْ تَفَضْضَنْ غَلِضَ الْقَلْبِ لَنْ فَضْضُوْ مِنْ حَوْنِكْ or Prophet of Allah if you were hard hearted and if you were harsh they would have dispersed from you if that instruction was for the Prophet what about us with our own spouses they will disperse from us they will not like us their love for us will be reduced so let us learn to speak in a very polite manner with sweet words you have to beautify your voice when you are speaking to your spouse why do we tend to do that when we are speaking to others besides our spouses whom we are not even supposed to be talking to in the first place won't that then result in some form of negativity in the hearts of our spouses when they say our husband is good to all the women on earth but not to us مِ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ پروٹیکٹس a person who is excellent to other women on the street 9 times out of 10 when he comes home they fear him اللہ هو اکبر مِ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ پروٹیکٹس we need to be normal outside you don't have to be overly excellent normal outside but at your home within the house you need to be overly excellent مِ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ another very interesting point is we need to realize marriage is all about sacrifice if you are not prepared to sacrifice then your marriage will probably not work it will be void of love you need to sacrifice your time your effort your money your brains your mind everything needs to be sacrificed and there is no room for laziness in marriage many people are in love and then suddenly they get married and then the wife doesn't even know how to cook may Allah protect us and she sleeps until 11 in the morning if that is the case he will get lazy and he will get fed up and he won't or the love in his heart for you will begin to diminish very soon because there are other women who get up at 5 in the morning and make a hot cup of tea with a little bit of breakfast and bring it to bed may Allah protect us all I am not encouraging promoting or demoting any breakfasts in bed but at the same time we are saying that we need to think of this don't be lazy look after the children and you will earn the love of your husband insha Allah at the same time spoil him rotten and insha Allah you will protect yourself from being rotten insha Allah so Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us of how important it is to sacrifice in marriage to be thankful and grateful for what your spouse has done for you if your wife is looking after your children and is cooking for you and so on think about it for a moment how much time and effort that she spent behind you and at the same time when the husband is spending so many hours earning a livelihood in order to bring back a plate of food on the table thank him at times say I thank you I appreciate it Wallahi you've done so much for me I really really appreciate this and show it in every single way thankfulness is part and parcel of kindling your marriage insha Allah then Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us how important expressions on your face are always have a smile always try to be happy always show good expressions you know a wink or two is also quite romantic at times between husband and wife may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us use our expressions where they are most beneficial and not where they are detrimental outside the home Mashallah we have a smile stuck on our faces as soon as we come home we are frowning like we've never ever frowned before remember even if you'd like if you'd like to age slowly why I say slowly is because we have to age if Allah gives us life we have to age but if you'd like to age slowly learn to smile believe me you will not age as quickly as those who frown when you frown your forehead has a mark will become really engraved into your forehead even when you are happy they will still see that mark may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us so it's a reality لن اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ also tells us that we need to have an understanding between one another you need to draw your limits and your lines say what you want tell her what will make you happy and let her tell you what will make her happy and you need to know what is going to make your spouse upset and angry and stay away from it this is something that we need to understand another very interesting point we need to put ourselves in the spouse's shoes so a man must look at it from the angle of the woman and the woman must look at it from the angle of a man in order to come and try and understand where they are coming from that is extremely important another very interesting point the tone of your voice and the volume of your voice if you raise your voice in the house you will decrease your respect in the house when you scream you reduce your respect in the house immediately and when you do not shout and scream and you do not swear then insha Allah people will respect you the minute you scream your value has already been lost in the eyes of those who witnessed that if it was your children they will remember it forever and ever and this is why for husband and wife to swear or scream or shout or accuse or clean their linen in front of the children is extremely dangerous because as the children grow up it will haunt them forever and ever may Allah سبحانہ وعطا عالہ سبحانہ وعطا عالہ بہت ایک بہتے ہیں and also this is why it is important that we realize when we scream and shout we will sound like donkeys as the Quran says and who wants to marry a donkey may Allah سبحانہ وعطا عالہ really grant us understanding I know I'm using terms here to keep people awake at this time of the night الحمدلہ اللہ so we ask Allah سبحانہ وعطا عالہ really to make us from those who can use the best of words to select your word when you are speaking to your wife ہے کہ آپ بھی چیلرن کا محفظہ ہے işرم کے طرح ہستی۔  ایک سوچ پریشاب ہی دیکھیں۔ اللہ نے ایک اپنے بھائی کی خلی ہے۔ اس خلی میں ایککیوفر کرنکتے ہیں اور ہمارے خواہی دنیا نہیں بارے گا ہے۔ بھائی اللہ سبحانہ know what آنا لیئے، تو خالق اور ہماری حضہ دیکھیں۔ یہ عنہ میں بھی کسا بائییی دیکھنے۔ look at the topic ہلہ عکبر ہے۔ ہم س contradict ہے ، اللہ سبحانہ know what آنا لیئے، تعالیٰ ، یہ trap ڈیزک نہیں ہویا ہے۔ تو دور اس پاند سال کیتا ہے۔ یہر بارکی لگا ہے۔ کیا آپ کی جاتا ہے؟ یہاں مرحلت کو دائمی کیا ہے؟ یہاں جیسے الپیق ا پہنگ پہنچ پہنچ پہنچ۔ کیا اللہ کی شرطتوری ہے؟ حمر پہنچ پہنچ پہنچ جاتا ہے۔ چھوڑا سال сдہ ہے۔ کیا جسی عقبی ہے؟ جانا ہوتا عالہ when you are choosing a wife you are choosing the mother of your children if you forget that for a minute you will be failing in the long run because let me tell you the children generally are taught by the mother if the mother is a person who was not brought up but grew up like wild grass then there will be no upbringing for her children they will also just grow like wild grass may Allah protect us there is a very big difference between being brought up and just growing up we would like to bring up our children and we would not like to see them just grown up suddenly and who brought them up the street may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ protect us and this is why it is very very detrimental for a woman to give up her role as a woman because yes it might not be prohibited to go out to work within the islamic limits but you may just be giving up your obligation of looking after your children and nowadays we have a new generation of orphans with parents they are orphaned because the father and mother are not there whole day they are brought up by the neighbors and the school and the maids and then when they come home at a certain age suddenly the parents realize my son is already in love and my son already has aids and my son is already on drugs then they come crying but where were you my dear mother i was at work and where were you you my dear father i was at work what time did you go to work at six in the morning when did you come back at eight at night did you ever spend time with your children the answer is no who is to blame you allahu akbar this is why let's realize that it's a last resort for women to work is a last resort do not be upset believe me there are women in the west who are now fed up of working they've realized that this is all a fast men want to use us and abuse us may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ protect us if you play your role that Allah has kept for you wallahi i promise you you will not go wrong you will be happy when you see your children grow up and hug you and thank you for the upbringing a woman her primary role is to give birth and to look after the children and the home that is why Allah place the womb in her belly and not in the belly of a man and that is why Allah سبحانہ و عالہ kept feminine qualities of motherhood in her and not in a man may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ grant us the ability to respect our mothers and may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ make the mothers of this umma responsible mothers as well as the fathers of this umma may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ grant us understanding so when we are choosing a spouse we should realize if you have based your opinion only on beauty beauty will go if you have based your opinion only on wealth the wealth will go if you have based your opinion only on reputation reputation may be tarnished overnight but if you base it on spirituality the spirituality will only increase as time passes may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ grant us understand you so we are not saying don't look at what she looks like no you need to look at what she looks like you need to look at all the other aspects as well but if there is no deen no religion no spirituality you'd rather go for someone else and you'd rather go for a third person or a fourth or a fifth and continue trying until you get to the one who has the deen as well as the beauty inshallah something that is acceptable to you may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ grant us inshallah happiness within our homes i see a lot of people are looking at me quite gloomy i think they married and they feel they might have already made mistakes may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ protect us all really please don't give me those looks inshallah we ask Allah سبحانہ و عالہ to enhance our marriages inshallah there is always an opportunity to rekindle a marriage if you would like to do that may Allah سبحانہ و عالہ help us to resolve and solve our problems and disputes i mean so Allah سبحانہ و عالہ then informs us of how we should not marry those who associate پارٹنز with Allah سبحانہ و عالہ because those who associate partners with Allah سبحانہ و عالہ they are on a different page altogether imagine people come and tell us that you know i'd like to get married to this person they're not muslim and they don't want to become a muslim well to be honest with you i want to give you an example if you are a vegetarian completely you you are you cannot have anything else and there is a woman who only is on a seafood diet i don't mean seafood as in whenever she sees food she eats it but i mean seafood as in fish if she is only on a seafood diet and you are only a vegetarian you might get on for one month or two months maximum after that the cracks will appear you will get fed up of seeing fish when you can't eat it and she will get fed up of seeing vegetable when she can't have it so if people whose difference in food will cause a split in marriage then you should realize religion is far more important you are on two different pages that marriage will never ever work i don't know to this day of a single marriage of people of different religions that has worked in the manner that marriages are supposed to work unless they are really forcing themselves to be with one another at some point down the line it has broken or there are huge cracks and if there is anyone who it hasn't cracked yet believe me it's coming wait for it may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us all so let us not look for those outside our religion because if we as men want to marry women outside our religion who will marry our women the men from outside our religion as well and that is completely prohibited we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ to grant us a deep understanding so if we take a look at what اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ says he says don't ever marry one who associates partners with اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ outside the fold of islam until they accept islam اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ says a slave girl who is a مؤمنہ is better than a free lady who has a high ranking who is not a مؤمنہ even if she amazes you and impresses you by her wealth or her looks and what have you اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ says it's better for you to have gone for a slave girl who was a مؤمنہ who was a believer than one who was not a believer and who was high in ranking in social ranking اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us and the same applies to the females اللہ says do not marry the non muslims until they accept islam that is the address to the females اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ grant us all understanding really so if someone is ready to accept islam yes we will welcome them into our religion insha Allah and we will open our arms and accept them into this religion and into our homes اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ help us to choose spouses who will be the best for us insha Allah now let's get to something else sometimes a person who enters the fold of islam is actually at a later stage a better muslim than those who brought them into the fold اللہ اکبر and we've witnessed that and we've seen it a lot as well so if a person comes into the fold of islam sometimes and sometimes they might come in because of the marriage but later on اللہ گرنسنم the true guidance where they begin to obey the instructions of the religion in a deeper manner than us because they've seen the other side of the coin we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ to make us as strong and even stronger ان شاہ اللہ و اسکر اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ to help us understand and اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ says you are not allowed to marry those whom your  primoفاتم блиہ نے معام named any way ولا تنگی ہوmannی کی کام قام من انڈسا جو ہم 라고 ماذا اللہ مساعدتی اور جب حروح baik AlexandVERY�突inب اللہ سرف نار tôiم these are999 یہاں جمCommentary ہیں آپ جو موبط جاتےہ Tae Tara تو آپ کو جانا ہوں گے ، آپ کو نہیں سرvereیں گے ، اللہ سبحیونہ ہم کے لئے سمجھ لیے جانا ہے ، Then اللہ سبحانہ ہم اٹاائلہ تیلے کے ساتھ ہوتا ہے اور episode مجھے جانتے ہیں ، ہمیسے اس طرح کے ساتھ ہوں جانتا ہوں ، م easier جانتے ہیں کہ میں نے کہا کہ آپ ہے جو بہت معاہمہ ، جو زیادہ چیزت کے بارے کے ساتھ آنے کے لئے ، ایک خود کو، آپ کو نیزوں کے لئے یہ ممارہ کا ایک دن् ساغی are حیاء یہ ہے اور میٹر میں اور یہاں تب انہوں کے بارےہ سے دولہ ہے کتاؤہ اس کے دروں کے ایک حالت ہے جو اور اسی بہت ساتھ جانتا ہے اور اسی بارےہ سے ساتھ آگاتا ہے اور اگرہن میں ایک ہم چکلی ہی نہیں ہے؟  When the creases start coming below the eyes, people begin to turn for others, may Allah protect us. But if you marry them for the heart, for what you love inside that will only increase and develop as the years go further, may Allah ہم جانچا۔ سالہ سبحانہحو حالا تیلس قصصہ ہموں سے مجھے留 کی جانہ ہے.  If they want to get back and if they want to marry them or re marry them in the case where it is allowed, then in that particular case if you block them, then you will be a major sinner because Allah سبحانہ و�� ڈالیہ ستا don't block the females from marrying whom they would like to marry unless obviously there is an islamic reason for you to block it like the man is a drunkard or he is a drug addict or he is extremely oppressive and so on but if there is اسلامی کا جانتا ہے جو آپ کو بہت اپنے سے نہیں کیا ہے کہ آپ اپنے بہت نہیں مجھے ہوا ہے ، اللہ سبحانہ ہوں اور اللہ سبحانہ ہوں اور اپنے بہت افرادتہ ہے لہذا اللہ سبحانہ ہوں اور اللہ سبحانہ ہوں کہ جو اپنیcile نہیں پڑھائے اور اپنیcile نہیں پڑھائے۔ عقل میں کہ انھاروں نے بہت leaves کیا بہت سوچ جاتا ہے۔ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ اگرمن سانبو۔ اور اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ اگر آپ سے پہلے گئے ہیں کہ ہم کو اچھا ہے خطب مناہمیں۔ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ اس لگاتے استخالام خطب ہے ، کیا یہ ہم کے لئے اچھا ہے کہ اسلام کے لئے اچھا ہے ہے کہ اچھا ہوادھائی ہوں۔ کہ جو میں سے نامنگ لازی ہے۔ ان controlling پر بات psychiatric ہے۔ آپ تاکہ درم Club tell کے بار میں کیکے کیا ہے؟ ان weightsoria şöyle کریں بھیتی کے بار رہو میں ہم چیلی ہوتے ہیںگی۔ انہ الوں pick fique پیون لاتھ سائنہ جنگ م گ him حیوہ اور ہے جو اتنا ہوں گی۔ شانم بدعتنہ مجھے بائنی جب انشاء اللہ اللہ فہم ہیںudo inviting م shouting be guides all that is accept جو ہے کہ کے اُونے حصول اللہ تعالیٰ lot ہے ، بھی بی意 ہوتا ہے۔ ولہذا یہ poner بے کی تک انہوں ہے کہ ہم کیا ہم مجھے ہیں کہ ہم جونان سمان گیا ہے۔ اسی طرح بھی ہوں گے گا. تو تو تاہی تک ہم شناہت نہیں ہے۔ مجھے ہم بلیئے مجھے ہے ، کیونکہ آپ مجھے ہے تو آپ کی پیکت دروھ کے لئے آپ你的 کلاپ کھوزت کين مجھے ہیں۔ اللہ از اکبرbellا ہے۔ اور تاہی تک انہوں کو کلاپ کون کلاپہ کنے یہ بہت کتے ہیں۔ ق ничего اگر اگر فroscop آئی مجھے بیاتوں آپ یہ صرف کا Parents برقی ہوتی ہے ویکBox بní کے一 پ� than گھونے پزی drama نکر ہے صور پہلے اور کے حدیث آپ jej تاک کے واقعی پ幹嘛 بھیسارون آپ بap القانفلی اپنےanoor�烙ستویں不能arded ah صور پہلےsti ہے می verlierموٹم ہے جھو براہToday شاہد one سناس تصنی ہے یہ کیو Нетہ ہے کہ حالفت وکلیما کی پاب لگتے ہیں تعالی م votes ڈیفہکس thanتر معطا posture بھی بڑے کر دیا ہے کہ58 کیوں کہ آپ میں جانب آپ نے دیا جو مجھے لگا if you would like to have it in a manner that will please شیطان فید two people at your house that is enough فید the poor in an orphanage that is enough but if you would like to have gatherings where everyone besides Allah is going to be happy only sheikh will be worshipped then that is not the way to celebrate half of your ایمن we ask Allah subhanahu واتالہ to open the doors for us مارج is one of the most important thing everybody looks towards and looks forward to from a جو سکتے ہیں اور یہ لیے لہذا یہ ریالتی ہے ، ہمیں security کیا تھا کرتے ہیں اور ہمیں جو آپ کسی fehفظہ کرتے ہیں ۔ لہذا ہمیں ہمارے تحدث ہمارے اگر ہم نکسو اس جب ہمارے تو ہمارے جانے دن میں مردانت ہمارے ہمارے ایک معلوم کرنے میں ہمارے جانے دن ہمیں ایک خراب کرنا اور ہمیں ایک خراب کرنے گے لے Dodge چیزہ ہے سوار ہمارا ہے اور اس حال میں جانے رہا ہمارے جانے میں اللہ سبحانہ واتعاللہ کے فرصہ پر بہت سے ہے۔Like we are in the Masjid we are totally separated that is also an act of worship which is celebrating half of your iman.We lose it and we think it's a party immediately after the party they go on honeymoon they come back separated me Allah protect us so it is increasing because most people even the most religious of people when it comes to their functions sometimes what they do they compromise what is right and wrong and if that is the لئے برائج اور alguienู่ لید بڑقوں لگا کام بڑی وہ شخص کے لائے تو یہ £aisse ، لیکن یہ پ entsرت سے کیا اور نحن جبcreamہ اور نحن جبورویозяر میںا ،�ن ل buzzing لہذا یہ شرطہ ہے کہ دائیجیسٹنہ ہے۔ وہ صلح ہیں، وہ عقصوری ہیں اور یہ سب سے اوکاہیت ہے۔ حیث انہوں نے اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی میں نظر سے بہر ہوئے تھے۔ حطہ ہے ایک فرمہ ہے۔ یہ آجی جو ملین ہے۔ انہوں نے ایک بہنے پاسا ہوتا ہے ، سے محمد صلحہ اللہ علیہ وسلم کو اُن کے لئے آپ کو اگر کے بارے میں بہت سے ہوتا ہے۔ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی ہوتا ہے۔ بہتر تک آئے اور ہمیں بہتر ہے۔ رؤینا ہے کہ آپ نے دھوڑے برامارت کو کہتے ہیں تو میں جو اپنی راکھنا بخورتا ہوں۔ اللہ بہت کرنا ہوں motorcycle تھا اور اس پسائر کھا ہستیخ فار؟ اللہ سے جو پر سیجھےande ہے۔ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالی اللہ جو پر سیجھےande ہے، مرسی پر سیجھےande ہے۔ لہذا ہمیں اور نفسی پورئے جیسے بحاغw سکتے ہو۔ جو اپنے اپنے اپنے حالات پر پیتے ہیں۔ مھینی کثیر چاہتے ہیں۔ حالة لیکن امام جرانا تکیار ہے جو شیطان کے کی صحیحہ ہے۔ اللہ Спасибо رساللہ기가 پرکا ہوں ہمارے کی طرح ہمارے کی ہوتے ہیں۔ اللہ ہم ہیں دیا جیش کرنے کے لئے خالص کیا بہت ساری ہے جس ہم مرنانی ہیں لیکن ہمارے کی انگرانی ہوتا ہے جب تھی بہت ہمیں آپ کو ماننے کی بناورہ کی tears ہے۔ ہمیارے بھائی اور خوبت مرمی کو آپ کو حافق ہے۔ اللہ新ی پرکا ہمارے کی ویڈال کرنے کا صرہ ہے۔ اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سو اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ then tells us about the days when it is prohibited to consume or to be intimate the times and the seasons when it is prohibited to consume and to be intimate we are in ramadan اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says during the nights of ramadan yes it is permissible you are permitted to be intimate during the nights of ramadan but during fasting during the day light it is prohibited you abstain from food drink and permissible sexual desires we are saying permissible because that which is prohibited is prohibited inside and outside ramadan but even that which is permissible for that moment you abstain from it so that you can appreciate it when it becomes permissible once again we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to help us appreciate our spouses and to keep us with blinkers such that we look only in one direction and our eyes do not wonder left and right اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us all so اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ tells us about that in surat البقر اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says the eves or the nights in ramadan you are permitted to be intimate with your spouses اللہ و اکبر اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grand us a deep understanding during Hajj also it is prohibited اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says فَمَا فَرَضَ فِي اِنَّ الْحَجَّ فَلَا رَفَثَ وَلَا فُسُقَ وَلَا جِدَالَ فِي الْحَجَّ whomsoever Hajj is incumbent upon or compulsory upon they go for Hajj from the moment you don your احرام that is the two pieces of cloth right up to the time you make your ڈوافوز زیارہ for the Hajj itself or right up to the time you come out of a حرام for the case of عمرہ in that particular time you are not allowed to be intimate with your spouses اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grand us understanding another point اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ speaks about is the menstrual cycle whilst a woman is on her menstrual cycle اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says قل هو ادن فا اتزیل نساء في المحید you are allowed to do absolutely anything you want with your spouses during the menstrual cycle besides the act of intercourse besides being intimate with them you are not allowed to be intimate with your spouse whilst she is in the menstrual cycle during that particular period it is prohibited and اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ has instructed us in this regard then اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ speaks about how important it is to live with this with your spouse listen to what اللہ says especially about the women folk اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says in سورة النساء و عاشی روھن نبی المعروح live with them with total goodness live with them in a nice manner in a polite manner live with your wives in a beautiful manner and اللہ says you might dislike one or two things you don't have to divorce because you don't like one or two things if you don't like one or two things there are another fifty things that are good that might even come out of the same one or two bad may اللہ protect us you might not like for example the way she looks so much but the way she looks after your children and the way she brings them up and what she teaches them and the time she spends with them your children may be the coolness of your eyes you did not realize it came to you through the same wife may اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grand us understanding and this is why immediately after telling us to be very polite and very good to our wives and for the wives obviously to the husbands as well اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says فَئِنْ کَرِهْ دُمُونَّ فَعْسَاءَ تَکْرَهُ شَیٰٓا وَ يَجَعَلَ اللہُ فِي خَيْرًا کَثِيرًا if you dislike them you might be disliking one thing but اللہ will create a lot of goodness even through the same thing so when you dislike one thing two things five things if you were to divorce your spouse because of five things that you didn't like she might have had five hundred things that were good that you won't realize except after the divorce and you might get to someone else who might have ten things that are wrong with her or she might have five things that are wrong with her which are even greater and which are more serious than those other five or she might even have just one thing and the same applies to the females any small thing i want to divorce i want out anything i want out because the man looked at you and his eyes were a little bit red and he seemed to be angry no i'm going home allahu akbar if that's the case how are we going to work didn't i tell you at the beginning of this talk that marriage is a sacrifice no room for laziness you have to learn to sacrifice in marriage a woman sacrifices almost her identity اللہ و اکبر she gives up her house she gives up her home she gives up her family she gives up her brothers and sisters she travels she gives up her whole lifestyle she comes into your home into your custody she obviously misses her mother her father she misses her parents how dare you keep her away from everybody may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ ڈراندس protection ان شاء اللہ yes if they are dangerous and they are bad and they are an evil influence you need to talk to her and convince her and you need to realize and understand she then herself will minimize it may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ not make us dictators in the home who are ruling with an iron fist such that when people look at us they feel so scared and worried the marital home is not supposed to be a home of a dictatorship it is supposed to be a home of comfort and solace a home of peace and tranquility a home of understanding and tolerance may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us stand up for our responsibilities ان شاء اللہ so this is why Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says you dislike one or two things concentrate on the other matters that you love and you like you might want to think my husband he might be this way and that way or he might not be able to speak to me with a soft tone but he reads his صلاح five times and he is a truthful upright person اللہ اکبر that should be a reason for you to stay ان شاء اللہ may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grand us an opening i have not yet crossed a quarter of the verses that i have written and i'm noticing that the hour is almost up and therefore ان شاء اللہ we will continue a part two of this particular subject tomorrow by the will of Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ seeing that it is such an important subject we need to learn we need to teach and we need to put into practice as well we all want happiness the answer is in the قرآن and the sunnah of محمد صل اللہ علیہ وسلم we will never ever be able to achieve happiness until and unless we surrender to what Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ and his messenger have taught because if that is not the case we will not be able to arrive at what is known as happiness it might just be short term explosion of of happiness but it will not be a real meaningful bliss in our lives we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us every form of goodness we to see happier homes across the globe we need to know what we are taught by the creator of myself and yourselves as well as the creator of entire creation regarding how we should be living insha Allah we had mentioned many points yesterday i am not going to go back through them we spoke for almost an hour we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to accept the words we've uttered and to let them ring in our ears so that whenever we have a problem or whenever we have even a day of happiness we will be able to bear in mind the decree of the creator insha Allah the issue that i'm going to commence with this evening is the issue of problems and difficulty in marriage it is normal and natural that two people who are brought up in totally different homes with totally different likes and dislikes sometimes with entire different schools they've went to and different communities they've lived in it is only normal and natural that they have at times differences and these differences are not unnatural they are something that really we should understand we need to prepare for and keep ourselves equipped a winner is the one who knows how to handle اپنیان دفرنس the first rule the golden rule always listen that is why it is reported that you have two ears and one mouth we would have had two mouths and one set of ears or should i say it doesn't even want to come out of my mouth to be honest with you one ear it's impossible to have had that we need to listen more than we actually speak and let's listen to the opinion of our own spouses our children our parents our in-laws at least lend them an ear listen to what they are trying to say if they come up with something better than what you have which is closer to what the pleasure of Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ لائیز in then definitely give up your opinion and surrender to theirs it is not a match where it is a where people think that it is my view or i will definitely not surrender no they say my way or highway we don't want to listen to that type of statement انشاء اللہ we want to listen to what others have to say we want to listen to their views and at the same time where it is reasonable where it is understandable الحمد للہ بی برود مائند and at the same time be tolerant for as long as it does not earn the wrath of Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ we ask Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ to grant that to us now when there is a problem or a dispute between husband and wife the first step the quran speaks about in surat النساء اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ tells us that it is important that the two of them open the doors of communication and communicate with one another as to what is the problem yesterday we spoke about the importance of communication in marriage and i remember very clearly mentioning that it is very important to have an open relation between husband and wife you need to be able to speak sometimes one of the two might be more jocular than the other adjust to the other انشاء اللہ sometimes one of these spouses likes to joke a little bit more than the other and the other gets offended that's not good enough try to understand the other let the doors of communication be open انشاء اللہ if there is a matter a problem you have faced a difficulty you have an issue you'd like to address address it as soon as possible don't leave it for the next day because that is detrimental in the evening what happens it hibernates and it grows and it multiplies by the time the morning comes the problem is double fold or triple fold اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us so that is why it is important we speak and we speak with respect without using abusive words without using vulgar language we ask اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ to grant us understanding and this is why اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ بتاؤز اس انسورت نساء وائن امرأت خافت من بعلها نشوزا او اعراضا فلا جناح علیہ ماء ان يصلح بینہما صلحا وصح خائیر و احضرت الانفس الشح و ان تحسن و تتقو فا ان اللہ کان بی ما تعملون خبیرہ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ سیز when a woman is fearing that her husband may become evil or is being bad and so on at the time of a dispute where you find the man is turning away from you then it is best to arrive at a solution between the two of you resolve it in one way or another there are certain details mentioned in these verses which i'm not going to go into but the crux and the message we need to take back is where it is better for you to resolve your matters between the two of you and we went through quite a bit yesterday i told you i'm not going to repeat it but let me say one word insha Allah that it is very very important that we understand one another and put ourselves in each other's shoes last night someone came to me after i said that and told me my wife wears high heels if i go into her shoes i'll probably drop the reality is that is on a lighter note we know what is meant by this that we need to try and look at it from their angle and see what they are trying to say may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ help us to resolve our matters remember one thing never ever discuss your marital problems with the public because tomorrow you will solve your problem and the whole public will be talking about how you are not getting on with your spouse they won't know that the problem is solved a fool is the one who can discuss his own problems of the house with the general public sometimes even your closest friends do not need to know what is going on in your own house because they will not know how to handle that news and information sometimes people are waiting for you to have a problem and then when you tell them they start saying الحمد للہ من اللہ protect us those are hypocrites those are not proper Muslims sometimes people are happy at your loss and they are sad at your gain so therefore keep your happiness and your sadness within your home insha Allah if you'd like to share happiness with those who are genuine الحمد للہ but as for sadness even those who are genuine keep them out of the picture initially as per the instruction of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ resolve it between the two of you سبحانہ وتعالہ سبحانہ وتعالہ سبحانہ وتعالہ help us do that remember one thing let's not be petty in our marriages some small item a small little thing possibly a little mistake and so on that might have repeated itself once or twice don't become petty learn to forgive and forget forgiveness begins at home we know the English saying charity begins at home but it does not end at home as well you know that just came to my mind now insha Allah i will get to that but to start with when we say charity begins at home you'd like to smile start smiling at home first you'd like to be good you'd like to forgive start forgiving at home first may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ help us and don't miss interpret that saying as though it would now mean that i need to be good only in the house and the rest of the places i don't have to be good or i should help only within my closed circle and i should not broaden the circle no then slowly but surely the circle should then become bigger may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ help us be good to absolutely everyone insha Allah as far as possible then if the matter is still not resolved sometimes it's a bigger problem it is something that the two of them cannot solve themselves because of some reason اللہ says in the quran and i've just read the verse before you وَا اُحضِرَتِ الْفُسُ الشُوحِ a simple translation of that is man pulls towards himself all the time man is very miserly when it comes towards his own things quite stingy if i can use that word شُوحِ is the highest level of stinginess may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us when it comes to you and someone else you are always right and they are always wrong that is the general nature of man so the winner is the one who can look at the other side and learn to say look i'm wrong i'm sorry and really i won't i won't repeat that again so what if you have to say that once twice three times so long as the problem is resolved and it's your own spouse سبحانہ اللہ your own children your own parents what's wrong with that اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ help us if the problem is not resolved we are allowed to take it further how can we take it further now say for example if a man has a wife who doesn't listen at all who really doesn't want to fulfill her role who doesn't want to understand anything at all may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us from such women we spoke about that yesterday where we said it is not a competition who is more powerful in the home that's not the competition the competition is who can fulfill the role better than the other اللہ اکبر be a good mother in the house be a good father in the house let the father not try to be the mother in the home the decisions of what formula to feed the children let it be the mothers ان شاء اللہ that department leave it for her let her go and try and find out unless obviously the husband is a pediatrician where اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ grant us understanding and thereafter there are other decisions you need to leave for the males let them be the males of the home it is not about or a battle اللہ اکبر it is some competition with one another in order to see who fulfills their role better and not who is more dominating and more powerful believe me when you fulfill your role in the correct manner you will be able to succeed both in this world as well as in the life after death so اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ then tells the man کہ if you'd like what you could do to resolve the problem is show a slight bit of disinterest maybe you can turn away slightly not so much that it will compound the problem but you need to employ your intellect and this is why اللہ gives us options and اللہ says look there are three four things that you could do employ that which is the most effective in your house sometimes if you turn away a little bit she might turn away completely so that shows who dominates may اللہ protect us all but if you were for example maybe not to speak as much as you did possibly not to smile making it clear what the problem is not just arrive at home and suddenly you stop talking no one knows you know جبریل علیہ السلام stopped coming he doesn't come to us anymore we are not prophets don't expect revelation from the heavens to drop down to tell them what is the problem you need to speak communicate look this is the issue i'm not very happy about it and you know would like to see what we can do about it try and resolve it if it's not yet resolved at least they would know why you are upset a day is more than enough one simple action which shows disinterest is enough for a female who has a brain ان شاء اللہ and for a male as well who has a brain اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ grandeur us all understand then اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ مباہ được ہوتا ہے۔ مرے اللہ سبحانہ والہ تعالیٰ پر خود تصمیم. فرماک ملی ہے اور یہ ہے یہ کیسا ہوں کہ میں نسبہ یہ مقاعدہ اور نسبہ یہ شرح ملی ہے گا جب اس ایک اٹخادیت کی حقیہ ہے جو اِنہیں لوگوں کا نظر باتناتے ہیں مرے اللہ سبحانہ والہ تعالیٰ گراندہ خودت تصمیم ہے اور اُن کے بارے میں جب ہمارا ہوتا ہے ہوتا ہے کہ ہمارا ہوتا ہے ہے جب جب یہ پرنس بہت انجازت کرنا چاہتے ہیں بات جانتے ہیں اور ایک مجھے فائرہ موجود ہمارے یہاں گا جو دیکھتے ہیں۔ ایک رپریزنٹیو سے ایفا ساید کے بارے میں ربہا ہے۔ انہوں کے بارے میں اسا مجھے ایک بارے میں بھی کہتا ہے تو یہاں ، ایک رپریزنٹیو کے بارے میں مجھے بڑا ہوں اور ایک سلوشن کے بارے میں ورائے جو ایک یہاں جانتے ہیں۔ کیونکہ اپنی کیا ہے کہ آپ کم جب ایک کامید کسی ہے جو ایک دیکھنے کے دوز ایک دوسر ہے اور وہ کہاں ، اور چاہتا ہے کہ آپ کو جان لگتا ہے ، جب ہم امید آپ دے گا ہے ، یہاں سب حالہ کو پرکتا ہے۔ لیکن اللہ tellہ ہے ، فَبْاْعَ ذُو حَكَمَ اُنْ مِنْ اَهْلِ الح۪ۮ عَقْبَ عَقْبَامٌ وَحَكَمَ اَنْ مِنْٰ وَحَك۪مًا مِنْ اَهْلِ حَعَمَرِ الْحَکْلِ فَا با عَدہ فَبْعَ اُنْ رَپْرِسْرِ فَمْ ن палہ اسر طور پراندہ ، ربانی ، اور اسر طور پراندہ اور اللہ سبحانہ اللہ تعالیہ آپ کو سوال کریں گے ، but if your intention is to prove who was right and who was wrong you are not going to solve your problem you will end up proving who was right and wrong may be without solving the problem. Remember when you are married when you are living together there is no point in trying to find out who was right and who was wrong sometimes. Sometimes you just need to help resolve solve the matter start and you leave turn and new chapter begin on a clean slate. اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ ہوتا ہے تو اللہ کہتا ہے کہ if you really intend to resolve the matters then you will be able to resolve them ان شاہ اللہ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ make us genuine those who might have problems if you are listening tonight remember one thing open your heart and ask yourself am i just trying to prove who was right and who was wrong سبحان اللہ we once had a bit of a problem with a couple and by the will of Allah after explaining to them that you are not supposed to be trying to look at who was right and who was wrong here turn a new leaf and stop discussing the past because if you bring back past issues what happens is you will go back to square one so mashallah they both agree husband and wife were both walking out mashallah and as they were walking out wife says you see i knew i was always right and the problem started they have to turn back and come back for counseling once again اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ grant us protection and understanding really there is no point in going back to square one let us try and sit and think do we want to solve do we want to help especially سبحانہ اللہ when اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ has kept you with such goodness with so much blessings of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ we have children we have offspring we have in laws we have relatives by the will of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ why do we want to mess it up overnight اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ grant us understanding and may he grant us an opening then اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ tells us that definitely اللہ is high the two people if they still cannot resolve the problem there are two people from either party one person from each party if they still cannot come up with a solution then اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ says now i will have mercy on you i won't force you to live in that situation you may now come out of that marriage because you've tried everything you've left no stone unturned now it is a blessing of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ that he has shown you a way out without oppressing the other party زاوی جبناتا کتقیم اِن احبہا اکرمہا و اِن ابغضہا لم يظلمہا get your daughters married to people who are conscious of اللہ if they love them they will honor them if they do not love them for some reason and there is a problem they will send them home in one piece without oppressing them it is a blessing and a gift when a female has been sent home without being beaten and broken her bones without being oppressed the man fears اللہ اللہ سبحانہ وتعالیٰ help us resolve our matters may not get to that today for the smallest of issues i know of an incident and a true incident and i'm going to say it here even if those involved happen to be listening where there was a woman a bride who could not pass the salad to the groom on the occasion of the wallima and he issued the word طلاق immediately in front of everyone and he divorced his wife he told her if you can't pass me the salad here now what are you going to do for me later on may Allah سبحانہ وتعالیٰ protect us such people are definitely the comrades of shaitan may Allah سبحانہ وتعالیٰ protect us that is not how you play with the laws of Allah that is a very sacred word you do not utter it and you need to know something that is very very important and that is it is farad and compulsory upon every one of us to learn the laws of divorce before we marry if you are married and you don't know the laws of divorce you better know them tonight before tomorrow morning because it is foolish to have a gun and you don't know what the trigger is all about اللہ عقبار so many people own guns they don't know what the trigger is all about so they face it squarely to their forehead and they fire two three shots then they say you know what i didn't know what the trigger was all about اللہ عقبار you want to marry without knowing the laws of divorce you are a fool you will crack your skull into ten pieces then you want to come to the علماء and ask for help why didn't you find out what that trigger was all about اللہ عقبار so we need to realize when we come to weddings the علماء are invited to give talks masha Allah they cannot talk about divorce on the occasion of marriage because that will spell doom for those who are getting together they will say i'm never going to call this علم again اللہ عقبار he wants to talk about divorce when we are getting married but the reality is we need to know the laws of divorce before we marry before you drive your car you need a license you can't just have a car jump into it and not know what the red traffic light is all about اللہ عقبار that's what we are doing every time youngsters are getting married it is our duty to take the rules of divorce in a booklet form or cd form and give it to them and say brother before you even go there please read this because you might terminate your marriage and you don't even know there are three things when you are joking about them they occur and when you are being serious about them they still occur they have nothing to do with your underlying intention even if you are joking when you are joking about nika you will get married when you are joking about طلاق you will be divorced when you are joking about freeing a slave the slave will be free these are the laws of اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ so don't ever joke about divorce because it is actually valid and it will occur may اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ protect us in the same way that you don't joke with a live ammunition by facing it to people you never ever do that not even jokingly because you might pull the trigger by mistake and then you've had it the same applies to these laws of اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ may اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ help us understand the laws of اللہ they are sacred laws you do not threaten a female to say i'll divorce you i'll divorce you tomorrow you're going home and the following day you might and you will this and that may happen and this you don't use that as a threat you either resolve your problems or you send her home in one piece may اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ grant us all protection and understanding so اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ then says that if you really have to divorce how do you divorce you issue one talk just one only one and you make sure you ask the علمہ before you utter any words or before you write anything you make sure you utter one and you utter one in a condition where the woman has been cleansed after a menstrual cycle and you have not touched her after that in terms of you have not been intimate with her after the last menstrual cycle then you issue her with one talk and that will be an irrevo sorry a revocable talk known as رجلی you will then have the chance to take it back or if a period of three menstrual cycles passes after that and you have not yet taken her back in that particular case she is now no longer your wife she is free to marry someone else or she is free to also get back to you in the new نکاہ because you only issued one طلاق you did not issue a second or a third so you would be allowed to take her back if you took her back for the second time then what happened is say for example within that period of three months you took her back you had another problem you sent her home again you issued her with another طلاق then within the within the three menstrual cycles you took her back again then اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ says that's the last time you can take her back now if you are to give her a third طلاق then you are not allowed to get back to her again because now it doesn't make sense for her to keep on trying with you twice is enough اللہ says in the quran اطلاق مروتا فا امسا کن بمعروف او تسریح بحسان divorce is twice after that you will have to make up your mind you either keep her with goodness or you release her with goodness so اللہ سبحانہ واتعالہ tells that to us and it's amazing how powerful that law is because after you have now issued the third طلاق after trying twice properly when you issue the third one she can no longer marry you until and unless she has without your interference married someone else and naturally normally could not get on with him now if she is divorced from that second person naturally she might have been comparing while she was there she might have now understood and realized now it would make sense for her if she came back to you with a totally new concept of what marriage is all about appreciating who you are so now she can come back it is not just an old folk law which says if you divorce a woman she must first marry someone else before she can get back to you that is a foolish understanding it is a deep islamic well rooted foundation that is definitely from the creator himself he says you divorce her with one طلاق this business of a person issuing three طلاق is extremely dangerous it is like a person who comes up and has three bullets and fires them all at once and then tells you look i didn't mean it اللہ و اکبر then they want to go to the علمہ to find out now what is the story here now اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ protect us and grant us all understanding you never issue three you only ever utter one three is out of the question a lot of us when we are young we hear the words طلاق طلاق طلاق والاہی those words are dangerous that's not how you divorce a woman that is more full fear than an animal اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ protect us really you've lived with someone you married them you took them with the name of اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ how can you release them even in a way that dogs wouldn't release their own opposite sex اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ protect us really then we want to come and cry and do this and do that اللہ و اکبر اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ have mercy on us you release her with one you try to resolve if you happen to resolve الحمدلہ اللہ let her get back if then second time it happens and the problem repeats itself or a new problem and she goes away with another طلاق and you happen to bring her back even the second time the third طلاق that is issued now renders that طلاق مغللہ which means it it arrives at a high level it is a serious solemn طلاق you can't get back to her just like that let her now carry on in her life if somewhere down the line and it is very rare for this to happen that she would then get married and then she would be divorced once again from that man as well now she has an option together with you to say do you know what if we'd like to get back i really appreciate i understand and so on and now i can compare its chalk and cheese and what have you now you can get back to اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ renders protection and understanding now if اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ has stipulated this اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ then tells us when you are divorced properly he says don't engage in mud slinging nobody must start saying you know she was like this and she was like that and you know he did this and he did that and he was like this if that is what you are going to do your future in your life is going to be a disaster that is اللہ's instruction or اللہ has said that that is what will happen if you are engaging in mud slinging after you have after you have been divorced or after you have divorced then definitely you are not a good muslim because a true muslim اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ سیسا سُور حدت لکھ three times찬 فیہ اللہ فیا اللہ when it comes to talking about the spouse who is divorce or who has been divorce اللہ سبحانہ و اتعالہ protectors and اللہ سست if you are going to be conscious of اللہ he will open your doors very quickly listen to what he says in ومن يتق اللہ يجعل لہو مخرجا ویرزکہو من حیث لا احتسب ومن يتوکل على اللہ فہو حسبہ إن اللہ بالب امره قد جعل اللہ لیکن کل شیء قد را جو تک جامل اندیادی بیسیدCalabal بر این و اپنائی کا ایک بارے کے لئے اپنائی کا اطلب فقیار ہے دونانہٹار کے دربتیان کے عمل ہے یہاں جا رہا ہوں گاینر ہے نکاہ جو ایک باری ہے اوہ نکاہ جو باری ہے م被ر تاکہ اس اس کے بارے کے لئے کی ایک باری ہے اِسِ جو ایک باری ہے جو ایک باری ہے ایک باری ہے جو وہ جو ایک کنی سے جو باری ہے۔ اس کیای جب سباہات پر بات دنیگا تھا بھی کمی میں اس کی تبدیل کی ساتھا ہے۔  جب چاہتے ہیں اور وہ کہا ہے ، لیکن ایک募ان ہے کہ ہم تک بہت پر بہت منصر سے ہوتا ہے ہمارے آپ کو اللہ کے ذاقہ میں آگ دکھ رہا ہوں ۔ اگر وہ اس وائفوں کے ذات میں کہا ہے اور 4 مام کے ذات میں خارجی ہوتا ہے۔ محافظ Moving لن ایک حجم کوارکا ہے جب ایک محافظ ہے۔ آپ ایک کنہ جو جانتے ہیں آپی شریعوں کو مرد ہوں جو، سبحانہ عالیٰی ہم نے لپنے نام سے حقید کرنا پڑھا ہوں ہم آپ سے دیکھا ہوں گے کہ میں کسی بہت نہیں سکتا ہوں گے جو آپ کو مرد ہوگا ہے کہ یہ محبت ہے تو کیوںں آپ کو مرد ہی نہیں کیا؟ اگر ایسا ایسا پر ایسا پر مرد ہے تو ایک مرد بھی ساری ملیفائی ساری معا علماء کے لئے ہمارے اور موسمہ دننا ، بایاد پکار ، ورال پانگو ، بایاد پاکار ، ہمارے اور بیشار پاکار ہوتی ہیں ، ہمارے سے ہسند ہیں ، ہمارے گا ان کے دریتا ہے کہ stayفہ نہیں ہے۔ کامیت نہیں ہے ، مح اور ایسی مح شہ پر ساری ، محوالت کو اہم اک ہمارے کے ترائی طرح انسان 돋 ، شرائی طرح دنیا جانتا ہے ، جب در کو، نو know ، سکنے کے بارے کا ہے۔ اورIf the two parties have not been intimate for a long long time if they both are OK with it, there's nothing wrong. The marriage is intact, but where a man comes after a problem or for whatever reason and swears by Allah, that he is not going to be intimate with his wife, in that particular case, if four months have lapsed, she has the right to seek nullification of that particular marriage. May Allah ﷻ grant us an understanding! This brings me to yet another point. When a woman complains about the husband, even Allah سبحانہ وتعالى listens and he responds and retaliates on her behalf. Listen to what he says. One day there was a woman who came to Rasool Allahﷺ known as المجادی لہ. The one who came to talk to the Prophetﷺ to try and tell him to dispute to say look my husband is being vulgar. He is doing this to me. He has told me that you and my mother are equal. So now you can go away. You and my mother are equal. What a statement that is known as ذیار. ذیار is a very very dangerous statement in the شریع. When you make your wife similar to a محرم of yours and you tell her look I am not interested. Now you can carry on. That is very dangerous. So she says look I gave birth to his children. I looked after him. He used me. Now when I am old and now when I am bent and what have you now he wants to throw me and discard me. And the Prophetﷺ was in the process of comforting her and telling her that okay you know what let's try and see what can be done and what have you and so on. And as she was walking away verses were revealed from Allahﷺ. And the whole surah is named after this lady المجادی لہ. The beginning of the 28th part of the Qur'an. Allah says Allāh has toward the woman who came to you, complaining about her husband and complaining to Allahعلوح ما corrantwortائی سر!. Allah has higher your discussion and here as solution for your problem. And the solution was presented. Doesn't this show us that when a woman complains about her husband. Sometimes she does not have anyone to actually help her 그리고 مculالی دالش سے ندارہا ہ flaming one. اپرسی کیا جو اسی حالہ کے موجود اور گایدنسی کیا ہے تو ہے کہ وہ اللہ سبحانہ الخاص بنا تو یہ مجھے نحواری کو حیرت致 کرنا ہوں کے لئے اللہ سبحانہ خاص سکتا ہے. ومنٹو کیا پریزلت کے بعد اللہ سبحانہ خاص بنا بار ہے کہ کبھی کچھ کسی بہتر than مجھے نظر کو خیلی کرنا نہیں ہے جب آپ ان کو ان کو سماریں است وضعой 감사합니다 and some types of divorce you can get back to her i've explained that partly i i'm not going to go into great debt because of time but that having been said when you've issued one or two you can still get back to her the minute you've given a third one you cannot get back to her انتے عawia gutes look sorrow區 one and if she is Gospel be ran and normally without your interference if she is one day devoster from her too she may want to consider if you are also considering getting back may Allah سبحانہ وَ Ratعالwright open the doors then there is one TYPE OF SEPARATIONWhen you can never ever get back no matter what happens and that is the separation after, what is know as کہ اللہ نے اس نے such وقت ایسا لیا ہے اور اس لئے ہے کہ اللہ نے اس ہی جانتا ہے جو سے رو پہلے بارے جانتا ہے کہ آپ جو آپ میں آپ کا نだけ دینٹکہ کیا ہےتی اگر اللہ ہماری خود پر نکتے ہیں اور سےنہوں کیا جانتا ہے؟ مکنوں کے احیام پر نمیہ خود ہے جانتے ہیں کہ وہ پھر جانتے ہیں اگر کھو جانتے ہیں کہ ان شوہی ہم کھونے خود ہے جو ان شوہی پر نمیہ خود ہوتا ہے جانتے ہیں اگر یہ جو سُچنے سے بارے جمھے پیدا برائے سالان پر اس کے لاؤئے that you see she was impregnated by someone else. so that's why the husband divorced. top protect her from that statement tell her look for 3 complete menstrual cycles. you will remain without getting married and you will remain indoors as far as you can. you will only come out for dire necessity during daylight hours otherwise you must remain indoors and you must not make up you must not wear clothing that will display joy because لوگا ہی شاہے ہتا ہے کہ دن یہ ایسا ہے جو جو بہت ساتھ رہے ہیں کہ وہ ایسا ہے کہ پھر جو آپ جانا ہے کہ وہ شاہے ہوتا ہے لیکن آپ کو ایک واقع کیا چکھتا ہے لیکن آپ کو آپ کو کسی اوپر کرنے سے پر آپ کے لئے رومہ کیا ہے کہ اس میں بہت ساتھ مطلب ہے اللہ سبحانہ واتالہ کہتا ہے لیکن آپ کے لئے مینمم 3 مانٹ کے لحظہ ہوتا ہے۔ لیکن وہ ساتھ بھی میننسٹرال کے لحظہ کیا ہے۔ بہل اپنے ایسے کیا ہے ، کیا تو تکہ حان کے لئے مشاہ پر نکلتے ہیں کہ اگر ان کو گھاتے ہیں اگر آپ اگر بلک کللاٹ کا لئے اس لئے جانگے کا لحظہوں کو کیا ہے لیکن ہم죠. جلسے ہمome اللہ سبحانہ ہے کہ یہ ل clears اندرس بھی بہت ہی افرادتے ہیں جائےہ چاہتے ہیں۔ جو آپ کو اگر شکر پرکیت تاکر اور اللہ سبحانہ کو جانے۔  چھوڑیں اللہ سبحانہ وتعالی کی تھی پر ساتھ مجھے کیا کہ آپ تلاظ کے لئے محاملی کے آپ ایک người کو پرکوی کسی مدہزائے کیا جاناں کسی مدہزا تھا۔ انہوں کو اوٹے صلاح یا اُن آجا کرتا ہے ۔ اللہ تعالیٰ ایک بر. جب آپ ایک قریبی ایک رہے ہیں اور میں اس کی قریبی بہت معدال ہے کیونکہ آپ ایک بہت ہوں کہ اس نے ایک وقت جب ایک پرکوی نہیں ہے انہوں کو مدہزا ہے گوہا میں اللہ کو ہے مضال کیا جلو ہے۔ اگر آپ بھی کسی بہت斷 شاہرے کے Animقی علیہ میں مباشتی ہے تو ہمیناہ ہوتا ہے, آپ ہمیناہ کے طرح پر لاکتوا ہے۔ آپ دوسرے ساتھ اگر یہ ہے کہ ایسا دیگا ہے تو کم کوزی کیا کہ آپیں بہت ہی تلخ مجھے گیا ہے جس آپ تلخ مجھے کرنے کے لئے انہوں آگا ہے۔ اکہ انہوں ایسا واقعہ اگر وہ دوسرے ساتھkookتا ہے تو آپ کو ایک دوسرے ساتھ مجھے کادی کرنے کے لئے اور اکل کو ایسا آپ کی ایسا پر چھوڑے کرتے لہذا آپ اس کا صرف کسی بارے پر اگر بھی جو گلیک ہے کہ Fang لگتےہ ہے کیونکہ if she wasn't not , it would be rape if she wasn't not , it would be rape . تو مصالح بين the two ہے کہ sometimes when a man is imposing himself and the woman does not want it then it is rape. او بھیسیں بھائیسے کہ آپ کو یہ ریپ کوا سکنے لگی۔ لیکن اللہ سب ہانہو کا علا س Circ�ہ سے کہ انہوں کے ساتھ بھی کم جو انہوں کو ایک بارے میں ایک بارے میں ایک بارے میں نہیں ہے اور یہ لیکن وہ بہت ہی ہے اور یہ لیکن اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سیس ہے کہ یہ جو ہر مدالکہ علاہ المؤمنین ہے یہ حرام ہے جو اپنے بیلیوز کے لئے now some translations say that an adulterer will not marry a woman except if she is an adulteress او را مشریکہ او او او اور یہ نہیں ہے because many men who have committed adultery then go and marry women who are virgin's اللہ او اکبر لے are innocent that can happen so it shows you that the translation of that verse is not accurate when it comes to the the English translation of it if you see the word marry you must excuse the individual who translated that Quran and you can cross it out and write the term had sexual intercourse with or was intimate with those are the terms you would actually be able to substitute that word marry with we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us understanding then one might ask so why is the term مشریکہ لے the term مشریکہ is there because Allah is telling you that when a person is committing adultery he is only committing adultery with an adulteress who is equally guilty of the crime or a مشریکہ who does not even consider it حرام so she'll tell you I'm not adultery it's not adultery that's my partner اللہ او اکبر you can use the word partner or what have you if you don't have a نکہ it is حرام and it is adultery so Allah says when a person commits adultery they are one of two people they are committing adultery with either someone who considers it prohibited but is equally guilty of the crime she would then be an adulteress or a person who is a مشریکہ who does not believe in the Dean who considers nothing wrong with it and is also in involved in it may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us and really we need to understand this this is something that many people have failed to understand because we have not gone into the books of تفصیر and looked into reasons of revelation and seen deep what the صحاب رضی اللہ و عنہوم have understood and this brings me back to that initial point I raised at the beginning of this talk about بارہ بیادریبو it does not only mean to beat it could mean to strike it could mean to tap just like when you are making your تیمم or when you are striking the earth some say you strike it some say you tap it some say you touch it and all of it will get you to that تیمم we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protection and understanding marriage it is a very very important topic in fact the response I have got via email is immense and intense we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us protection it shows how many difficulties and problems people are going through and how much misunderstanding Shaytan has allowed to creep in especially between husband and wife remember try your best never to allow a difference of opinion to creep in when it comes to your marriage may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ a grant us understanding try to be on best behavior at all times because that is what will definitely enhance and promote a happy home happy generations to follow Insha Allah also we need to realize that Shaytan the devil Satan one of the prime aims one of the biggest plans he has is to differentiate is to differentiate or to cause a split between husband and wife and this is why he goes to get his prize after he has split between husband and wife and he is awarded a huge and handsome reward by his leader ڈبلیس مے اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us all that having been said we also need to realize and understand that we spoke about appointing certain representatives from either side when there is a problem and the problem cannot be resolved by the two of them we need to know that sometimes yes family members at times are not qualified enough or their hearts are not clean enough to be able to help you sometimes family members themselves create the problem because they have something against the other party we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to open our doors of understanding and this is why it is important that when we select a representative the Quran says من احلیٰ or from his family or from her family either party together with that let us select those who have intellect who have experience who have a genuine feeling and not someone who is going to tell you break the marriage if there is anyone who tells you just break the marriage they are not genuine you need to try and try again and try a third time and try as hard as you can before you even discuss the issue of splitting and separating and each time you go to a new counselor may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant us the ability to go to those who have sound knowledge of the sharee together with experience you need to know you are going to have to start all over again may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ give us the heart to turn a new leaf and to forgive those who are our own spouses and to try as hard as we can then obviously we mentioned the fact of divorce being a gift from Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ at times to get you out of a situation and to get you out of oppression and to get you out of that which might result in your mental downfall as well as emotional may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us all it is also important that we realize that really nowadays we have a very very great proportion or ratio of people who go through divorce very great but the reason why they go through divorce is sometimes very basic very small a minor issue something very small they allow it to grow and to blow out of proportion this is why it is important to resolve a matter as soon as it starts when the fire starts you would be very intelligent if you actually extinguished it as soon as possible rather than to wait for the whole house to catch and then you want to bring the dowser to come and now extinguish it even if you bring the whole fire brigade they won't succeed your house will be burnt when you see a small spark immediately try and resolve it instead of waiting for the whole house to catch fire may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us this evening i have chosen to go through three very important examples in the quran and really they are so deep and so beautiful and they show to us the beauty of marriage the beauty of our spouses and the beauty of the life when we are together may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant us understanding the first example is that in surat البقرہ i'm sure many of us know the verses of by heart where Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ describes a husband and a wife Allah says ان لباس لیکم و ان تم لباس لہن they are like clothing unto you or men and the men are like clothing unto you the wives so the wives are like clothing unto their husbands and the husbands are like clothing unto their wives it might seem a very light verse when you skip when you like whip through it as you are reading the quran but believe me today if Allah grants us the acceptance you will see the depth or some of the depth of this particular verse what is clothing clothing beautifies you that is the first quality of the spouse they are meant to take the good out of you inshallah which means expose the good in you inshallah and they are meant to beautify you and they are meant to give a good image of you inshallah you will not wear clothing that is that of disgrace the same applies your spouse is not meant to disgrace you may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant us the first understanding there after your clothing changes with the changing of the season in the cold weather you will wear warm and in the hot weather you will wear a little bit cool this shows us the reason for this is to protect you from outside environment your spouse is supposed to protect you from outside environment when رسول اللہ صل اللہ علیہ وسلم was faced with جبریل and revelation for the first time he felt quite heavy and he rushed down to his wife خدیجہ تب انٹی خوالد رضی اللہ عنہہ سین جمیلونی جمیلونی کفر می کفر می and his wife comforted him to the highest degree that is also the term clothing سبحان اللہ providing comfort providing warmth when warmth is needed and providing the cool breeze when it is needed الحمدلہ اللہ so clothing also changes with the changing of time and it fits into the situation a person who is wearing a hot clothing on a on a hot day will not like that clothing they would sweat and perspire may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ قراندس an understanding and may he make us from those who can look into this example let's move further into the example when it comes to clothing if you have for example an operation where you have been medically operated on your belly or anywhere in your body what would clothing do to you it would cover the scars that you have اللہ عقبار your spouse is meant to cover up for you and not to go and tell the whole world you know my wife is like this and my husband is like that no you are meant to cover up you are meant to be clothing over and above that clothing is there in order to cover your private parts and your shame as it were so your husband or your wife you as a spouse are meant to be protecting them and you are meant to be looking after them and you are meant to be covering up wherever you can may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us promote the good and look at the good and concentrate on the good whereas when there is something negative yes we do know inside that there is something negative but at the same time it will not be exposed in public do not clean your linen in public may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ protect us let's move further down that example when you want to buy clothing you first go to a shop that your that fits your pocket you will not go to a shop where the cheapest clothing is 10,000 rands when your salary is only 500 rands which means when you are looking for a spouse look for someone on your level look for someone on your level don't look for someone whom it is going to be so expensive to look after them the marriage won't really work may Allah protect us let me take the example further when you walk in to say for example the store what size do you buy do you buy your size or do you buy a bigger size or a smaller size even if you happen to weigh a little bit more you will still buy clothing that is your size even if the clothing that is small and tight fitting looks very nice maybe if you were to buy that it might look beautiful once you wear it it will look at that so when you get someone who is not on your level of spirituality or on your social level it might look nice it might look beautiful as soon as you get married it tears may Allah protect us the marriage won't last it won't work because the hadith teaches us about meaning to look for someone in your social standing to look for someone whose likes and dislikes will be similar to look someone on your spiritual level to look for someone who will not be a burden upon you in any way and who will not be so low or so high that you will not be able to reach below or to reach above in order to reach them may Allah سبحانہ واتحالہ great us understanding so tight clothing no one buys if you are a size 10 and you were to buy a size 6 you would have to keep it in your cupid and closet you won't be able to benefit from it may Allah protect us and if you were for example to buy clothing that is too big say for example you are a 32 waist and you buy a trouser which is 38 believe me it will embarrass you in public you might need a belt to hold it up and when it comes to marriage we don't want to talk about a belt may Allah سبحانہ واتحالہ great us understanding look at how beautiful the example of clothing is the most intimate relation you have whether you know it or not is with your clothing اللہ اکبر ماء اللہ سبحانہ واتحالہ great us protection and understanding that is the power of the quran we've only been through a segment of one verse the power of the verse when Allah speaks about the spouse and Allah says اُن لِباس لِكُم وَا اَنْتُمْ لِباسٌ لَهُمْ they are like clothing unto you and you are like clothing unto them now do we see that in that verse he is teaching us how to select a spouse how to marry the spouse and how to live with the spouse as well سبحانہ ربیہ الأعلى let's move on to another verse if we open the verses of the quran in surat al faqir we will find just before surah yasin اللہ سبحانہ واتحالہ makes mention of the fact that he has created us in pairs listen to what he says والله خلقكم من تُرابٍ ثم من نطفتٍ ثم جعلکم از واجہ it is Allah who has created you from dust or from sand or from soil and thereafter from the seed and thereafter he has made you pairs he has made you into pairs let's listen and concentrate he is telling us that he has made us male and female and then he is showing us immediately after that other creatures of his whom he has also made in pairs and he is drawing to our attention that nothing goes wrong in the other creatures because they go according to Allah's plan and if you were to go according to Allah's plan nothing would go wrong in your union as well سبحان اللہ have you ever seen anything going wrong between the sun and the moon between the night and the day and so on never ever because they listen to what Allah says to the tea the lesson is if you were to listen to what Allah says to the tea nothing would go wrong as well and this is an example given in Surat Fatir many of us think that we will receive and achieve happiness by undressing in public or by uncovering our hair if that is the case it is like the sun saying that today I really want to fight this moon I'm going to come out at night the sun has never had a dispute with the moon because it obeys the command of Allah but with us with our minds and brains اللہ is showing us that look there is only one way to succeed and that way is to adopt what Allah the Creator of yourself and every other creature of Allah سبحانہ و تعالی has dictated there is no other way to receive happiness you know when you have a Toyota for example wouldn't you be a fool if you arrived at the BMW showroom and you told him I'd like to sell my car or I'd like to service my vehicle you want to take a Toyota to those who did not make it they will laugh at you now that is a simple example we don't see anyone with a Toyota taking it to the BMW showroom why do we see human beings who are made by Allah taking themselves to others besides Allah to look for goodness and happiness and to service them اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی has a great understanding simple example for the brain for the one who wants to know imagine if your motor vehicle is not working and you were told that you need to put oil here and you suddenly think that you are too clever you want your car to work the professional told you where to put oil and what is wrong with your vehicle and you take the oil and you put it where the petrol is supposed to go because you think you are clever what will happen your car will stop functioning that is what we are doing with ourselves on a daily basis on a different level where we have problems Allah gives us the solution in the Quran He tells us what to do and where to do it and how to do it and we go further and we don't want to do it the way Allah decides that is why our spiritual vehicle will halt it will come to a halt it will grind to a halt we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی not to do that to us and we ask اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی to grant us understanding so after اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی says he created us in page he gives us a few examples and all of them are to draw our attention to how well they get on and to draw the lessons they are from listen to what اللہ سبحانہ و تعالی says he says the two oceans are not the same they are two totally different oceans this verse he says it immediately after telling us that he has made us in page he tells us look even the oceans we have created them they depend on one another they are two to two they come in page اللہ اکبر and this is why they are not the same but they hold each other up if one ocean did not exist the other one would collapse the two oceans are held together one cannot call itself an ocean unless the other one is there it will not be there one might be green and one might be green one might be blue one might be sweet one might be salty and سبحانہ اللہ not only the colors one might be warm the other might be cold but they are holding each other up اللہ says we have kept between the oceans a barrier they will not cross the barrier mother and father husband and wife you have a role to play do not cross the barrier a wife is not a wife unless she has a husband the husband is holding her up a husband cannot go out on the street a man without a wife cannot go and say If you want to leave them then the husband is not in my opinion brother and sister they will take you to the mad hospital you have to have a wife in order to call yourself a husband so that is why the oceans are only called oceans when the two are holding each other up though Allah says they are not the same a man is brought up in a totally different home and a woman is brought up in a totally different home but the two of them together will help enhance one another ہی حیثت ہی جب ہمینا کرو اور بلکی ایک ہی حیثایی کی حیثیت کی جو لگاتی ہی ہوتی ہے۔ لہذا اللہ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ بہت ہی دیکھوئی براتنیوں کے دیшихزیدوں کی ملحاڈشت نہیں ہے۔ جو کہا تھا hablando، اوان میں سامانھوں کے ن سے سارے ہوں کہ آپ بھتنے کے ساتھ اس کا معلوم آپ پر اپنے لطفے پر بکرہتے ہیں اور اپنے لطفہ پر بہنے بحالاہ کیا آپ بھی ملحاہ کیا ہونا ہے جو آپ کیا ملک ہے کیا دنگا جس نےانیت آگی کردے۔ جس نےانیت بہت ہوں varios ہمارے جاتے ہیں۔ عمل میں آپ کو اسکھانے کیزاہر کھولی کیا با ہے۔ ایک طرف جس کے لئے آپ کو یہ بیش کے لیے آپ کے لیے water کو پہلی مالی کے لئے آپ کو فیل مالی کے لیےی مالی کے لیے سالٹ کھولی کا لیے اور اللہ سبحانہukkh جیسے کے لئے ہوں نحوز کے لئے آپ کی ایسی نکل ہوگا ایک بیش کردے گتا کے ساتھ وہ کہوں کو کے دنگہ فرم ہی پرخواسی ہے۔ امینکلن تککلونَ لحما ڈاریہ آج کام کریں گے آج کام نہیں جانتے ہیں ایک نمی خوش ساکتے ہیں اگر آج کام کریں گے آج کام کریں گے امینگی کے ساتھ neuro دنیا ہوں لیکن امینگا چاہتے ہیں امینگو کیا پارتا دھوکستار اور کہہ کوسی کودتے ہیں ماشا اللہ نہیں ہے کہ آپ کیا حیث نہیں ہے کیا کہ آپ آپ کو حزین by مرکز کیا نجوب کرنا پتا ہے اور آپ آپ کی ایسا کے لئے ہمارے جانجان کیا سکتا ہے جو آپ جانجا آپ کو مرکز کے ایسا کو ایک opportunity کے لئے اس کو جس ل کے ساتھ یہاں گھو قاہت کرنا رہتا ہے اورdot کلوز اور طنز ہمدول اللہ اور آپ کے بعد بزنس پیشتا ہے جیسے لیے اللہ حمدول اللہ Dilیٰ سبحانہ اللہ سبحانہ ہوتا ہوتا ہے اور ایفت اور ایفت if you want to achieve benefit from your spouse and effort is required if you would like to fish it won't just come to you the same way if you want to see the positive points in your spouse you need to definitely work hard you need to understand you need to try you need to think carefully you need to make an effort and insha Allah you will find that benefit the benefit of pure meat insha Allah you will be able to benefit from it insha Allah let's move further Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ says what استخری جو نحلی تن تل بسونا ها if you want to make a bigger effort you will be able to extract pearls from the deepest part of the oceans that you will then be able to adorn yourself with so if you are ready to make a bigger effort in your marriage you will be able to then see the shining of your spouse the good quality of your spouse insha Allah but for that of a deeper effort is required a great sacrifice is required ask those who die for pearls they stay almost risk their lives but when they come up they come up with the pearl mashallah and they are so happy it is worth a million other commodities of this dunya سبحانہ اللہ so that is why if you are ready to put on that oxygen mask and go into the deep oceans you will come out with the pearls الحمدلہ اللہ in your marriage if you are ready to sacrifice even though it might seem to you that it is almost broken that's not true i beg to differ if there is an effort on both sides insha Allah you will be able to extract those pearls and you will be able to come out with them don't worry about the adversity as you are diving they might be sharks in the path you might be scared you might be bitten you might this you might that but it is only that effort that you will then be able to adorn yourself and to be honest with you husband and wife they are adornment for one another سبحان اللہ it is important that a wife dresses up to the tea for her husband if she does not do that there is a chance and possibility that his eyes may wonder may Allah protect us all and the same applies it's no use to say the wife must dress up for the husband the husband needs to be proven prop as well insha Allah meaning he must not come home smelling and filthy and then he expects mashallah to be intimate in the condition where nobody can tolerate the scent or the stench that is coming from him may Allah protect us to keep yourself clean is part of islam and the man it is part of your faith and we need to realize that the religion we are following has stressed on cleanliness more than anything else we need to cleanse ourselves spiritually to start with and then even physically insha Allah so if you are to make a bigger effort insha Allah what will happen you will then be able to dig deeper and go deeper and you will be able to receive insha Allah the goodness and the benefit of your marriage may Allah help us insha Allah in every single way let's move further insha Allah through these verses after speaking about the oceans the fact that they are not the same the fact that if you are to any benefit you will get fish from both sides there are different types of fish on either side you will find a certain type of fish in one ocean and you might not find the same fish in the other ocean so it does not mean that there is only one type of fish in the world so many different types of goodness insha Allah if one thing might go wrong another 10 things will go right in your marriage insha Allah and if there is one negativity there will be so many other positives that you will not find elsewhere that is a solid point that you need to think of may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us appreciate our spouses then Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says اللہ says when you see the ship it cleaves through the waves when a ship crosses from one ocean to the other دو you notice that you've crossed into another ocean the answer is no it crosses it cleaves through the waves for us there are many lessons to draw from that سبحانہ اللہ i will only come up with one or two the reality is you may be totally different but when you are together when the others members of your family and so on and the broader society happen to see you you need to realize they must not notice the differences you have do not clean your linen in public you will they will sail straight through like a ship sails straight through the different waters it doesn't mean that now you crossed and suddenly the ship starts rocking and so on unless an expert will tell you we've crossed into the next ocean سبحان اللہ without that you wouldn't have known is that not true yes it is true so the same applies there might be certain people who might know that we might be going through turbulence but as i said a few days ago that you do not tell your sadness to others do not relate it to your friends or family for that matter to start with you need to make sure you have tried your best to make that marriage of yours work ان شاء اللہ we ask اللہ سبحانہ اللہ to soften the hearts ان شاء اللہ so as you have the ship moving across in order to benefit from the ocean the same applies to us if we'd like to benefit from one another we need to abstain from cleansing our linen in public when you have a problem don't scream and shout such that the neighbors can hear you and don't scream and shout in front of your own children may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ protect us after that the next verse اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ gives us another example the other example is that of the night and the day he says the night goes into the day and the day goes into the night that is the plan of اللہ listen very carefully what do we learn from that for our marriages when the night goes into the day if the day is short the night automatically becomes long and if the night is short the day automatically covers up and it becomes long سبحان اللہ when there are shortfalls from your spouse you need to make that extra effort to cover up ان شاء اللہ if for example there might be one shortfall this side you need to be extra good ان شاء اللہ to cover it up and if there is one extra point on this side ان شاء اللہ then you may be relaxed may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ grand us protection the same way that is the system of Allah if Allah wanted he could have kept day and night exactly equal all along but he says no that's not what he does when one changes the other one exceeds or increases or decreases accordingly what we need to learn from this is you need to be tolerant one day you might have to exercise more patience than the other something might happen in your house maybe someone might do something that you didn't really like that day you need to have more patience and another day when you do something that requires their patience they also need to be patient and forgiving ان شاء اللہ so there is a give and take in marriage سبحانہ ربیا اللہ and look at how the night and the day never ever fail because that is the plan of the creator سبحانہ ربیا اللہ they listen and obey to the the instructions of Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ if we are to listen and obey do you think something will go wrong may Allah سبحانہ وتعالہ grant us all protection from shaitan and protection from the devil so these are some of the examples اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ has given us in سورت فاطر amazing let us now move to another سورا سورت یوسف where اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ also speaks of a different example altogether remember when the examples are given in the quran they are the examples of the creator himself اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ there can be no mistake or no error when it comes to the plans or the examples sorry of اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ no mistake so اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ speaks of a dream in یوسف علیہ الصلاح تو السلام سورہ the سورہ where it his story is mentioned اللہ سبحانہ وتعالہ teller says that یوسف علیہ الصلاح اizable because says ا grease my father i have seen the son and the moon and eleven star prostrated to me in a dream کیا ہے اور besides ایسی ایسی لیے بارے کا عمل کے ان pelo لوگوں کو بھائی ہے گی مجھے حقید ان opposite لی debut حراری بہت تھی نائی ہے کیے لیکن ایک صرف یہ اوہی بہت سورے کیا اس کے لئے بھاہ رہا ہے اللہ سبحانہ علیٰ علیٰی جیس کہ شرط پر ایک نام کے بروم کیا اس سے کیا جہاں یہ ب try کے بروم کیا ایک نام کیا ایک نام کیا اس جس نام کے بروم کو بہت ہیں جائے اور انفرش یوسف علیہ السلام's فادہ یعقوب جی کوب may peace be upon him so the son was depicting the father the moon was depicting the mother and the stars were depicting the children or the brothers of یوسف علیہ السلام the children of those parents now if we take a look at that example and we analyze it it is a biblical example it has no errors in it it is a flawless the relation between the son the moon and the stars is exactly similar to that of the mother father and children of any successful home سبحان اللہ now let's go into that the son the qualities of the son are those qualities which are meant to be found in the father of any successful house so the son is very strong masha Allah very powerful in the home الحمدلہ اللہ the son shines it gives a sense of security when the son is out masha Allah that is when you find the plants will photosynthesize there is growth there is blossoming there is blooming whilst the son is out when the son is out the stars are there but you will not notice the stars because you cannot look at the son directly with your naked eye doesn't that depict some form of respect between the parent between the father in particular and the children not to say that you cannot look him in the eye but to say that he commands a greater respect in the house that is the role he is the bread winner is that not supposed to be correct in our homes it is supposed to be the case may Allah سبحان اللہ help us rectify that insha Allah the father is supposed to play that role of being the bread winner in the home he is the one who is the the final decision maker what that means is its the father's duty to listen to the opinions of the mother and the children and others and so on and on merit he must then make a decision according to the best opinion that was presented to him or if his was even better then he he can make the decision according to his own opinion now we have the son let's speak about it a little bit more the role of the son is so great and so powerful اس dangerous ڈار کو آپ بہت as we go out on a gloomy day where the where there is a lot of cloud اور wear is no sun what happens on that day you feel more like going into the bed and going to sleep اللہ کاکبر at times depending on how dark and windy it is here in cape town مashaAllah in one day can have four seasons  tornado اللہ کوzejد sometimes it is as freezing as you can ever think of in the morning and then مجھیک سے جانتے ہیں ان کے بعد انہوں کو فرمہ ہے لہنہوں کو اکبر مئے اللہ سبحانہ و آتا Weil اس کیا کیا کیا ترمی You'veا ایک جوب ہے راہمان کیا جو سامنے ہم مجھے اراتک ہے گے اور دے لہذا آراتی ہمچنے کے بارے کیا ہے کہ ہم اوانیتوں سے مجھے اراتک ہمیں مجھے ہی ہم ہے نای بات جانتے ہیں اور جانتی ہم بات جانتے ہیں جو spectacular یہاں لے جانتے ہیں اور ایسا ہمارے کے پاس عام دینا چاہتے ہیں۔ یہ مطلب ہے ، یہ جیسے ہوسا گھڑتوں کے جانتا ہے۔ مئے اللہ سبحانہ وطعالہ بھی سیارتہ ہے۔ لہذا دنوش بہت ہی کالیٹس کی نظروں میں کم گھڑتے ہیں تو بھی کچھ ہوا ہی بھی بھی پامر ہیں ، ان شاء اللہ ، جو ہم جانے کے مانات کو ، کیا حق لہذا کالیٹس ہیں ، دنوش ہیں ، دنوش جاتے ہیں ، ان Zhiha اللہ ہی نظر آپ کیا تھی ، آپ یہ جانتے ہیں اور آپ اس سے مباد کریں جنوارہ کھولی مجھا اللہ اور آپ جانتے ہیں جو쪽εις کرتے ہیں اور اللہ سبحانہ وحل اللہ ، اس کے لی workforce نقصیفوں میں مجھوڈ گرے زیادہ سclear the house میں اللہ سبحانہ وعطا علا بارٹت ایک لئے آپ ایسی اسے جانتا ہوں ایک و業 جو اے لئے ایک کام جانتا ہوں عمین ایک لئے آپ نے ایسی سے نہیں جتے ہیں کہ یہ مون مانا جانتے ہیں جو ایسی own بارٹنے نہیں ہے ایک لئے the light from the sun so the stronger the sun the brighter the Moon اللہ اکبر the more you play your role in in a stronger manner in a more fulfilling manner the stronger the role of the mother will be in the house if you yourself are not a solid father what do you expect of your own wife being a mother مے اللہ سبحانہ و جالا protect us so you have the role of the moon beautiful what happens to the stars when the moon is out you find the کوCare아아ااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااااا但是 اسی طرح پر جب Today ہم سی کچھ آلے حیث میں ہے اس جانوین ہے ، کاریں آپ کو کام ہے ، کیتے ہے ، مینeko ، حیث ، فرم後 ، اسی ب significاہائی ، لوگوں کہا سمجھیں ، وہ اس ذکر کییاں رہاں سا جہاں ہوتی ہے ، یہ ایک باراریی کہہتے ہیں ، کہ ایک باراہ میں حام ہے ، ہم آپ own بھی کرم پر다고رت سکتے ہیں۔ آپ کرنے کے اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اندر اٹھان کی حالتے ہیں ، یہ سب سے سوچ سکتا ہے۔  انہوں نے ہم کو مجھے راقہ جانے کے لئے بہت سن یا انہوں کو مجھے راقہ کرنے کے لئے آپ مجھے دعا میں سłam��ے کے لئے ہمارے دعا کے لئے آج مجھے اُن سلام اُنہوں کو اے آخر ہمارے گئے اور آپ یہ مجھے رہا یہ کھو ہے۔ آپ مجھے بہت صصی اللہ پر because it is indeed a sign from amongst the signs of Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ because one day the sun will rise from the west and set in the east and that day it will be a major sign of qiyamah some of the scholars make mention of an eclipse and when the sun and the moon are eclipsed then the sun will move in the other direction as it is coming out and this is why we are کہوڈ by the Prophet ﷺ to engage in dua and to engage in the تکبیر of Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ and صلاہ until the sun returns or the moon returns to where it is supposed to be that we know there is a whole صلاہ known as صلاہ of the eclipse صلاہ تل کسوف or صلاہ تل خسوف now what happens is we've heard a little bit of the roles of mother and father in the house when mother wants to be father and father wants to be mother what would happen they would be a clash of roles and this is why i have been saying for the last two days that it is not a battle as to who is more powerful it is definitely a battle as to who is fulfilling their role in the best way when mother wants to be father and father wants to be mother there will be a social eclipse there will be chaos in that home and do you know who will suffer the most the children will suffer the most because they are grappling and they are searching and hunting for guidance for light for love for comfort if they cannot get it from mother and father they may then turn elsewhere which might become extremely dangerous may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ grant our children inshallah the acceptance to see the benefit of both mother and father amin we also realize and understand that when a man wants to be a woman and a woman wants to be a man the hadith of the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم has cursed such people and he says it is a sign of tiyama it is a sign of the end of times we find nowadays may Allah protect us all we hope it is not in our homes but in many places you find people have mixed their roles Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ has left the role of a female the role of a female and the role of a male is indeed a masculine role we need to assume these responsibilities and we need to execute them in the best way possible so that we can achieve the mercy of Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ and this is why it is important that we look at these examples in the quran and we extract the jewels and the diamonds from these examples they are not coincidences they are carefully planned by Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ and really if you open the books of تفسیر they will come a time when you will come through so many different examples of the quran just the parables just the similitudes of the quran where you can derive a lot of benefit there from take a look at this dream we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us benefit from this dream insha Allah and we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to open the doors of all of us in this dunya and in the after remember to fulfill your role remember the qualities that are required of a male remember the qualities that are required of a husband in the house and the qualities of a wife in the house we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to make us really from those who can uplift and uphold and at the same time when it comes to the children we need to have a very good link and relation with our children the doors of communication need to be open 24 hours of the day if your child cannot communicate with you and cannot tell you exactly what is in his or her heart then probably your relation with them is not ideal because then they will go to the neighbor they will go to their friends at school they will go elsewhere and they will want to get help from people who are not qualified enough nor do they have a genuine feeling nor do they sometimes have parents who have looked after them rather they will be educated by the television so it is important to have a very open relation and an open relationship does not mean you must let them get away with murder no where they are wrong you need to speak to them convince them talk to them tolerate what they are saying but then utilize your mind to convince them the reason we say convince them is if you were to use the stick in order to make sure that whatever you say goes then for as long as you are present they will listen to you the minute you go out they will be on the other side may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us protection but if you have convinced your child to do something then naturally the even in your absence the child will know i've got to read my salah why because of this benefit that benefit that benefit i've got to tell the truth not because my father is going to beat me up no because i have a responsibility to my creator i need to be a good loyal lawful muslim may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to grant us understanding so the idea or the issue of communication both within the marriage between husband and wife as well as the children is extremely important and we'd also like to open one more door of communication or the importance of one more point of communication is between the parents and the children the in laws and the sons or daughters in law that is also a very very important door and remember one thing whenever you want to correct someone don't hold back whenever you want to correct someone even if they are going to feel bad for as long as you are polite and respectful سبحان اللہ if they are decent human beings they will understand it if not today then tomorrow you are not allowed to leave back correction where you feel that someone is going wrong you need to address it as soon as possible because if you don't they will plunge deeper into the disaster and it may have a ripple effect or a سکتلیں ایفکٹ whereby so many other people will be harmed by the damage of you not having corrected the individual or the person so even if your parents are going wrong your children are going wrong your spouse is going wrong your in laws are going wrong and so on you need to with utmost respect open the doors of communication and speak to them insha Allah and through this communication we will achieve and receive goodness insha Allah if we are سنسیہ and we are good there is one more point before i end for this evening and that is many times many times as human nature as human nature people think that they are the only ones who are right and what happens is you sit and you listen to an opinion and you say no ways this is out believe me the criteria is whether or not Allah has commanded it if Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ and his messenger have instructed something yes then we will shut off and we will listen to that insha Allah but when it comes to other opinions of this world your spouse your children your parents your in laws believe me it cannot be overstressed for us to say that we definitely need to listen to others opinions and give up your view giving up your view at times when it really is just a worldly opinion is sometimes a very great act of worship and it will help resolve and solve so many problems in your marriages and in your homes just by giving up your opinion you definitely dearly think and believe that things must happen this way believe me for once please try and turn and see another direction where Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us in every single way i've decided to keep it a little bit shorter today as it is the second last night tomorrow insha Allah we will be completing the quran in this masjid we ask Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ to benefit us all and to grant us all the acceptance to have listened to every single word of the quran and at the same time tomorrow evening we hope and pray that we can go through some of the supplications and duas that Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ has made mention of in the quran with the idea of benefiting from it starting with the fact that we need to make a dua that Allah grant us spouses and children who will be the coolness of our eyes listen to what Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ says in suratul furqan describing the believers the true believers he says the true believers are those who make a prayer to say oh Allah grant us from our wives and our children those who will be the coolness of our eyes and make us leaders of the righteous سبحانہ اللہ so this dua we need to make it on a constant basis the reason is if you are not married Allah will grant you a spouse who will be the coolness of your eyes together with righteousness and if you are married Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ can help improve your condition as well as the condition of your spouse through the same dua and supplication may Allah سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ سبحانہ و تعالیٰ help us help one another and at the same time may he really help us to enter جنہ through his mercy و صل اللہ