What I think we'll see over the next 10 years is diversification. I'll give you one simple example when it comes to food. Africa has incredibly fertile land. Africa could become the bedbasket of Europe. Africa could really be investing in agriculture. It's close to Europe. It has a lot of potential for great ports. I think some African countries have good ports. It needs to produce. It needs to produce goods. The best way to do that, the easiest way to do that, and it would happen very quickly, is if Europe chose to lower tariffs on food coming in from Africa to zero. Now, Europe won't do that for a variety of reasons, but think of what that would do. It would create a massive industry in Africa. It would start supplying Europe with food. The food would have to be of high quality because Europeans are food snobs, but the Africans can develop the technology, can buy the technology, can get the technology to develop and grow and produce that kind of food. Who would be hoods? Well, farmers in Europe would be hoods. Many of them would be go out of business, but prices would plummet and many Africans would get rich. There would be a strong incentive to establish rule of law in Africa. There would be strong incentive to establish property rights in Africa. And Africa would benefit. Europe would benefit. Yes, a few farmers would go out of business because they couldn't compete. European farmers probably can't compete anyway. So there's plenty of people in the world. There's plenty of talent in the world. There's plenty of resources in the world, natural and other and human resources. What's missing in the world is freedom. And one of the things that happens for businesses and under freedom or relative freedom is that we learn from our mistakes. And I think business has learned from COVID and has learned from the war in Russia and has learned from Trump that global trade is not stable. Global trade is not to be counted on. And there are lots, and they need to really think long-term and really think, need to diversify. And I think that's what business will do. That's what it rational, long-term self-interest are business to do. Now, do I think that countries are gonna help by lowering tariffs? No. Do I think Europe is gonna lower tariffs to zero to an import food from Africa? No, unfortunately, I don't think any of that is gonna happen. Africa, one of the positives in the world right now is that Africa is putting together a inside Africa free trade zone so that they're lowering tariffs to zero between African countries, which is terrific. Now they just need to lower and have lowered tariffs to everybody else. Anyway, so the solution to supply chain problems is more freedom, less tariffs, fewer trade barriers and let companies rise or fall. Based on the decisions they make, let companies diversify their supply chains as needed. Objectivists constantly criticize countries where communism crushes individual freedoms. We're constantly criticizing everywhere, not just communism, but any country that is crushing individual freedoms, whether it's in China and what they're doing to individuals, constantly criticize China for that. It's sad because I thought China was on the right path, away from crushing individual freedom. By the way, I don't think China is capitalist, I think communist. I think China is much more fascist than communist. So there's no objectivist are constantly criticizing the crushing of individual freedom anywhere that it appears, anywhere in the world. Whether it's done in the name of religion in a place like Iran or whether it's done in the name of communism in China or in any way. But I don't think that the fact that it's being done is reason for the government to step in and determine where manufacturing should happen. That should be up left to individuals. That should be left to people. Thank you for listening or watching the Iran book show. If you'd like to support the show, we make it as easy as possible for you to trade with me. You get value from listening, you get value from watching. Show your appreciation. You can do that by going to iranbookshow.com slash support by going to Patreon, subscribe star locals and just making a appropriate contribution on any one of those channels. Also, if you'd like to see the Iran book show grow, please consider sharing our content and of course subscribe, press that little bell button right down there on YouTube so that you get an announcement when we go live. And for those of you who are already subscribers and those of you who are already supporters of the show, thank you. I very much appreciate it.


I hope you have all read the government's budget for this year. The government has decided to focus more on capital expenditure. Capital expenditure is an expense that creates permanent assets and yields regular income for the government. In other words, money spent on the acquisition of assets comes under CAPEX. In 2023-24 budget, the government has allocated 10 lakh crore rupees for infrastructure spending. In addition to this, to nudge the states into making productive capital expenditure, the government has decided to offer 50-year interest-free loan. The government has decided to do this to reduce the fiscal deficit at the cost of the social sector. So, the union budget 2023-24 has followed supply-side economics to promote state capitalism and subsidize the private sector by increasing capital expenditure. What do you think the benefit of this move will be? Investments in infrastructure and productive capacity have a significant multiplier effect on growth and employment.


Hey, it's time for voiceover body shop tech talk number 93 I believe 90 well 92 maybe it's 92 maybe it's 93 we're in the 90s somewhere in the 90s We're gonna reach a hundred some sometime in 2023. That's right. We are I can actually probably even count looking at the calendar So anyway, if you've got a question throw it in the chat room Especially if it has to do with home voiceover studio technology, which by the way is what we know the most about of anything I mean, we know some other stuff too, but we're ready to roll here. It's time for tech talk on voiceover body shop right now Brought to you by voiceover essentials calm the home of Harlan Hogan signature products Source elements the makers of source connect voiceover heroes become a hero to your clients with award-winning voiceover training Voice actor websites calm where your voice actor website doesn't have to be a pain in the butt voiceover extra your daily resource for voiceover success and world voices the industry association of freelance voice talent and Now here's your hosts Dan and George Well, hello there, I'm tian Leonard and I'm George Whidham and this is voiceover body shop or VO Be ass tech talk tech talk Tech talk tech talk and we have to lead off since this will be next week It's like put on your yamaka. It's time to celebrate Absolutely eight crazy nights so You know which night is the craziest or are they all pretty much evenly crazy First night's usually pretty crazy last night's the craziest got you start the most candles, and it's like there's Seven seven candles the most melted wax right and one in the middle. So no eight candles I thought it was not in one. No, no, no Isn't it four and four and then a big one in the middle the big one in the middle Okay, that's the one that used to light the other one. Oh, that's because that now doesn't count. That's got it It's it's there Happy Hanukkah to all of those who celebrate the Festival of Lights anyway We're here because George and I know more about home voiceover studios than anybody else combined Because we've been doing this for a long time. I mean, I know I've been teaching it for like 15 years and You know as we like to say, you know, you teach best that what you need to learn most Yeah, I the more we teach the more we learn. That's right. Absolutely. So there's there's really nothing new under the sun until somebody shows us Something new. Did you see this new thing and I go? No, you don't need that You don't need it at all But that's what we do we're here to help you get set up and maintain your home voiceover studios because everybody's got to have one today The pandemic made it mandatory but it also is just important because you've got a lot of Producers out there that are like, you know, it's cheaper to work with somebody in a home studio if their home studio is good and And it's and you know and again if it sounds good, it is good Right, that's right. You know and more importantly you have the paid version of source connect Which seems to be the the one that most agents seem to be asking about yeah And setting that up usually takes mr. Whitom's help Used to be you know, their support has gotten really good. That's good. They have their own Academy now It's it's really a they've stepped it up big time. That's good to hear But if you'd like help with your home voice studio aside from watching this show, which you should all be doing anyway You can get in touch with us Individually George and I have our own businesses and we you know consult with each other on certain things But you know we we work on home voiceover studios And if you'd like to work with George who knows more about this stuff than anybody I know Aside from me Where do they go you go right here? Oh I'm for the podcast listeners. I'm referring to my t-shirt George the dot tech that is my home on the web Soon to have a new website. I know I listened to Dan teasing his new website for months and months now It's my turn. I mean it's actually up. I've been to know I've been teasing it. I'm still tea Maybe January first we'll have the new website But anyway, that's where we go for tech support You can schedule sessions with me and actually a few others on our team Tim Friedlander and And rich green now you can schedule sessions with them automated through the website Call for emergency support if you need it desperately And or just get a sound check or as Dan likes to call them my special in collection cup That's right over at home voiceover studio.com It's now on the top of the page. So when you come to home voiceover studio calm There it is and for $25 I will give your audio Thorough analysis and I've been doing this a long time It takes what five ten seconds to know what's going on in the studio takes longer to type it then it does to Uh, that's to hear it. That's for sure.  How many times do people say? Hey, you know Why why does my audio sound so weird because you're talking to the wrong side really weird and boxy, you know, yeah Of course, the other one is you're talking through the mic on your laptop. Oh boy. Well, I mean That happens to the best of us. I'll tell you but we'll recognize the sound of those problems within seconds and let you know What's what's happening? So all righty. All right. Well to start off this Hanukkah week tech talk number 92 I think we it is actually I Could be wrong but Who's counting we aren't we apparently not Sue is Like come on you guys don't you listen to me Anyway, it's time for George's tech update and you got a pile of stuff 92. I thank you very much I just have to reflect a few minutes for the show and it starts to flood in oh god Yeah, there was that and then oh there was this So as Dan I like to do we kind of like to reflect on the last week or two of tech that we've been dealing with and So a few things that just come up and I thought I would share so One um, we've talked about a lot of the voiceover booths this pre-fab booths that are out there, right? The usual suspects you've heard us mention studio bricks vocal booth calm whisper room and Scott Peterson right here in LA Who's shipping his booth still? But there's another company that's been around and still in business just hasn't really been in the conversation and that's Gretch Ken Gretch Ken booths and they're still around. Yeah, the website looks like it was designed 20 years ago I Mean it's very very dated But what they lack in in slick websites they make up for I think in a good product and from my client that had one You know the takeaway was from what I was hearing the acoustics were quite good I didn't feel like I had to give him any notes about the acoustics and which is saying a lot because a lot of these booths don't get the acoustics right out of the gate so The the downsides really were Well, let's say let's keep going with the pros The other pro what he found was their excellent service like when you buy a booth from them, they're clearly all made to order And they really do an interview with you to make sure you're buying the right product, you know Should do you really need double wall? Do you need enhancements of any kind?  So again instead of having a slick Really automated site they kind of go old school and if you like that kind of service you're gonna like dealing with them The only cons that he mentioned really was the pieces that assemble the booth are very heavy They're quite massive larger than most other companies booth sex segments So that's one little gotcha I think similar in the way to the vocal booth calm the sections are very Massive so be ready for that and he has to turn off the ventilation when he's recording So maybe a small modification with the fan maybe having a variable speed You would be able to leave it on but he did find that to be the only issue So anyway, just another brand to check out when you're doing your research. Don't don't skip Gretch Ken Now today was at a studio where as Much was spent on Dealing with and trying to make sure we eliminate the noise from his heating cooling system from the source Well never really panned out that way and it's still disruptive enough in some scenarios where a client a really really picky one like a video game Producer will say your noise your noise floor is too high Which is really frustrating because acoustically it sounds incredible. Well, fortunately for him He happens to be using an universal a universal audio Apollo and we all know how I feel about the Apollo's right overly complicated Expensive customer support lacking etc. Etc However, there's a killer tool and that's called C-suite C-vox. I showed him how dropping that right into his effects chain He could real-time knock down the noise and completely eliminate the rumbling noise of the forced air cool heating system that was still too noisy in his booth for some and he was blown away So if you have an Apollo if you do a lot of live directed sessions and you're dealing with really picky clients And a family doesn't like to freeze there took us off. Is that the right way to use just the right amount? I'm right amount of flim. Just the right amount of fun. Yeah, perfect Who doesn't he doesn't want maybe the C-suite will save your butt You don't need this again if you're not doing live directed sessions or source connects You can do the whatever post is necessary later But this is a very specific tool that does a very specific thing and it does it really really well and $350 for the plug-in you better need it because it ain't cheap, but man, it's it does a great job Moving on to if you're using external displays like a lot of us want to have a bigger display and maybe buying a standard 27-inch or 30-inch Monitor ain't big enough end up buying a 55-inch TV. Okay. Yeah, you can do that, right? The problem with TVs is they often have a lot of processing on the video signal to make it look as good as possible Especially to make it look really amazing in the retail store, right extra bright extra crisp all this stuff They do what that does is creates latency And you know what happens when you move your mouse and you wiggle it It's like there's like a quarter to a half second. It is super frustrating and that's what my client today was facing with After a little bit of research reading the manual googling we found out that yes Indeed the majority of these issues were all on the TV side Once we figured out how to put it in low latency mode even TVs have low latency and turned it onto basically gaming mode It improved dramatically So if this happens to you and you're going oh crap about the wrong display for this job Don't worry. Most TVs are really all of them. This was an LG in this case 4k TV had a way to detune that it just wasn't very obvious how to do it So don't sweat it. There's probably a way to fix it another thing we were dealing with was HDMI cables and Man, they are my absolute nemesis.  Yeah, we've we oh my god The more problems we've had with HDMI cables The thing about HDMI cables is they're kind of like USB cables and that there's tons of different standards You know with USB there was one one point two two Three three point one and yes now for there's all these different standards. Well HDMI is similar There's probably even more versions of HDMI cables available So it is mind-numbing and frustrating and what you pay for the cable is not necessarily going to tell you whether it's the best cable Has the right standards? So what's the rule of thumb here really? I recommend if you're gonna buy one HDMI cable and say Amazon or something and you know You don't want to have to mess around buy a second one from a totally different brand have a backup. Really? Yes Because which one works best which one works bad I'm telling you half the time that cable that you bought you installed This way went through this one of my clients wanted a white cable instead of a black so she bought the white one We plugged it in ran it through the conduit through the wall into the booth on it and guess what it didn't work So frustrated so we had to come I had to come back again And that time I had her buy her a couple extra brands of cables And that time the first one I tried worked so save yourself time HDMI cables on each on on Moner price and Amazon are cheap have a spare because there's so many standards I would look for HDMI 2.0 cables at this point Those are probably one of the most common ones or most current ones and again Unless it's a really long cable do not spend more than 20 to 25 dollars for an HDMI cable Most they can be very grossly overpriced Lastly, this is just a cautionary tale If you use your iPad or your iPhone for pro audio sort of use cases This goes right in there with the rule of thumb of not allowing your system to auto update I was stung this week when my iPad that I used on my Workstation that I used to control my interface is the personas that I use personas to your revelator It updated its software the UC control software No problem, right? Except it said you must update the firmware on your hardware for to continue working So that one software updating caused a cascade effect So now I had to upgrade the firmware on my hardware, which was I'm telling you the last thing I wanted to do okay then to get the firmware update I had to do a software update on my desktop computer, which personas said yeah, it just works No, it didn't I had to go somewhere else on their website to go download it and install it because it said I had the most Current version anyway, it was a pain I spent an hour to two hours dealing with this problem only because I had that software automatically updating on my iPad so I really do recommend if you're using an iOS device For a specific job like running a studio running a remote or doing any kind of studio tech stuff Turn off the auto updates. It's in the software settings of your device. Just turn them off and it will save you a lot of Frustration when that auto update happens and causes just random BS To frustrate you and keep you from working so my rule on that one I've noticed there are a lot of programs that are not catching up to Ventura Hmm, what have you run into what's been a gotcha? It's some sometimes. I think I mentioned this last week It's stuff that is slow to respond. Hmm. You can you can see Rosetta sort of saying Okay, let me figure out how this program works and you'll get the spinning beach ball Do they start with a and end an e by the chance any of these programs like Adobe? No, Adobe's working right. I've watched Adobe audition. I watch it bounce on the dock for about 15 seconds It takes a while for it to load, but it's a big program. Yeah, it is so but it's totally worth it Which is why I use it every day Yeah, I've noticed that there's there's little things and I have a feeling that some of the these other apps Will catch up and will work. I'm having trouble with stream yard for some reason I think that probably is like stream yard. Yeah, there's screen flow screen flow screen flow, okay Because we're using stream for streaming right now. It's working great. Okay, you're all here on us and seeing it No, but screen flow. Yeah, that doesn't surprise me that much. I have to say Yeah, I mean we're always talking about some of these software companies that are like, okay We're issuing a new thing and you're gonna have to pay for a new one So you can we can show you what we fixed that you didn't like in the last one, right? So we're paying for their mistakes. Yes, essentially. Yes. Yes Anyway, anyway, so that's my rant Good rant. You're gonna talk about dynamic versus condensers. Yeah our topic tonight It is that is our our little basic topic tonight. I see you have one. I Have good old I have brought my are you 20? Yes, because I never use it There's a reason for that. I get a lot of oh, there goes that I get a lot of Questions and people saying well, you know, there's the of course the old standard of what's the best microphone for voiceover and and of course You know, I will say, you know, I try to keep it simple you and I are like look if you're just starting out There's no microphone. It's going to change the way you read copy Really, uh, any good studio condenser microphone will work great for example I finally got to use the mojave tonight that we were talking about a couple weeks ago me 50. How do I sound on this? I mean this there's no processing on this. It's just me and my microphone. It's it's a great sounding microphone But it's also a great sounding microphone being used by a great sounding voice Well, that doesn't doesn't hurt. Yeah in a well-treated room with great acoustics You know, all of the important elements are in this room, right? Which is the most important stuff a lot of white sounds so good Right, you know, I mean if you have a great microphone In a bathroom, it's not gonna sound so great. I once did this video I never I never really put it out there where I was singing something from Barbara of Seville in the shower. Yeah. Yeah, you know to a show This is what it sounds like and my wife is like no, you're not you're not putting that out there and showing off your Hairy chest and Ah So, uh, but why why is there a lot of people are going to dynamic mics these days? Yeah, mostly the the popular one is the the sure sm7b, right? Uh, and You know, if you're doing a podcast, it's okay But if you're doing voiceover There's a reason why some people would say yeah use a dynamic mic What's the difference between the two? I can give you a quick You know scientific explanation A studio condenser mic is much more sensitive It you have to feed it with a 48 volt current It charges this plate that's in the middle that you can actually see this round thing Which is the diaphragm and as the diaphragm vibrates with your voice It changes the resistance in the in the line and that's what's interpreted as your voice And it's because it's charged with electrically. It's very very sensitive and you can hear me from this distance away Without any trouble, but it will pick up everything else Within an earshot of that microphone So I brought the re 20 and whoa crap Um Do you have it plugged into a chain? I do I I do have it plugged in. It's cool right here and can can We'll just ignore what went on there Um That's just I I needed to get rid of this stuff. Anyway, uh, yeah, let me let me you know get off this mic Okay, so now I am talking strictly on the this one Why is this not so great for voiceover one and this is even with a lot of Oh, we'll say, uh There's there's no processing on this at all a lot of gain. There's I've got I got this thing cranked to the top and Of course, you're not going to hear Any background it definitely kills off the ambience of the room, right? But in order for it to work even with you know, and I've got This guy on here the the fat head on here to give it a little bit more. Oh, you do. Yeah, uh That basically turns a dynamic mic into a quote unquote active Mic kind of because it adds a whole bunch of level To the output of the mic exact that otherwise wouldn't have yeah Now I sound good on it, but in order to get a good level I have to talk this close to it Which is what you see when people are doing podcasts or if they're on the air doing radio And you notice there's an aesthetic to it an oral aesthetic to it Right that sounds like dan's doing a radio show. That's right. Hey, it's 20 minutes after the hour right now. Yeah, right You know or welcome to our podcast, but it's warm. It's very Rich, but it's very broadcast right and the fact of the matter is it's We don't talk half an inch from somebody's eardrum, right? So that's why we use a studio condenser mic, which as you can hear Sounds a lot better and a lot clearer and Why do people recommend? the Dynamic dynamic mics They're great for singers and I I guess I got to explain this again when we're doing voiceover we're being very conversational And we want to remain conversational we unless we're like doing Gaming or or something along those lines where we have to get louder uh We're just talking the way we do when we're just having a cup of coffee We're sharing a beer or somebody with a with a good friend unless you're in a really noisy bar in which case you're shouting like this And you wonder why your throat is sore the next morning um Which is why when you go to conferences Use your indoor voice But using a condenser mic it will pick you up clearly from A good distance like from there And yeah, and you're gonna hear me this guy you got to use really close up Another reason dynamics are popular in podcasting and stuff Is you can have three of them or four of them? All in close proximity to each other You don't get you don't get a lot of bleed cross talk between all those mics, right? You do that with four condenser mics One is going to hear the voices of others Sitting near you and yes indeed That does create a little bit of a phasey Hollow echo-y sort of sound so that's another reason why you'll see dynamics much more commonly used in a podcast situation with multiple people sitting around absolutely and uh So but the reason that singers like mics like this is because they can Take what we call a lot of high SPL. This guy was designed as a bass drum mic I mean and that's that's what what uh what electro voice was using it for and what they're what they were selling it as um, it became popular in broadcast studios because it's uh Why did it become popular in broadcast studios because It the acoustics and a lot of studios are very bad especially radio studios And if you've listened to any podcast you'll hear that most people are doing them in their living rooms And it doesn't always work. So that's why they will use something like an re20 or an sm7b Uh, but it doesn't sound natural guys. I'm sorry. It just this is the the condenser is just much better Uh, especially this one. Yeah. Well, this is happens to be an exceptional mic Yeah, uh, and I actually I actually really like this one But of course, I also like my uh, my custom built your home built my home built mic here, which you know I'm gonna tighten up a little bit. Yeah, this is the from mic parts. This thing sounds great But it sounds a lot like this one and and who can really tell the difference nobody Um, especially only engineers that have like six mics lined up next to each other, right? Can they get any kind of a real impression of how mics compare to each other? Exactly. So, uh, That's my spiel on why you don't use A dynamic mic in your voiceover studio and I know a lot of people doing it But the thing was oh, that was the thing I was going to show you is that This guy can take a lot of spl And you can yell into it and it's gonna it's gonna handle it That's that's the uh, that's the mic that d snider used on the radio for many years from twisted sister, right? You think he talks softly and calmly into the microphone. I don't think so probably not But you know if you talk too loud in one of these you're gonna over modulate so you don't do that But that's one of the reasons that people, you know use them great for singers. I do not recommend them for voiceover The sm7b is actually a little better than the re20 a little better, but even less sensitive Exactly. So it needs even more gain. Exactly. So and that's the thing is you need a lot of gain for the uh, for the student for the uh, dynamic mic So don't use them. All right, we're gonna take a quick break here I'm gonna mop up and we'll be right back with your questions here on voiceover body shop tech talk So don't go away. We'll be right back Hi, this is bill farmer and you are watching voiceover body shop It's great From voiceover essentials.com. It's the relationship savior the multicolor led vo recording sign Not just a stock on the air or recording sign. It's our exclusive voiceover recording sign This brilliantly lit led 20 color beacon tells everybody at home, which is currently everybody. Hey, I'm auditioning recording podcasting narrating or broadcasting here and a few moments of relative quiet would be very much appreciated What's more the wafer thin remote control lets you choose a multitude of options from color to brightness flashing to fade in and out You can even set up your own personal codes red means i'm recording blue playing back green It's a wrap plug in the seven foot long cord and hang it on a door knob or wall hook using the included chain Order yours now for just 69 95 from voiceover essentials.com and for easy giving for the voice talent in your family Get a voiceover essentials gift card too Well, it's time Yes, it is To thank source elements for being a sponsor of our show the creators of source connect And other tools that are coming down the pipeline. I know their source nexus is something that robert marshal One of our one of our team over george the tech who also is a co-founder of source elements Source source nexus is something he personally is very excited and proud about because now They have something called the nexus gateway that allows you to be like the audio traffic cop in your studio With that system you can really route audio between different applications Very logically and sensibly It's amazing because what it does is it creates drivers of your design So if you want to have a sound driver, that's the input for zoom That includes the sound from your audio interface and the sound from the output of your DAW twisted wave whatever and so both of those can be sent back down the line to whoever's listening That's something you can do with source nexus and a heck of a lot more So it's something you might want to check out if you want to have more flexibility and how you route audio In and out of your software You're more of a power user not just a basic voice actor that you just have more capability need more capability You might want to check out source nexus a new tool set from them that is Like I said the audio traffic cop in your studio Well, we thank them for their support. Of course source connect is their flagship app You by now know what that is. So I thought I'd talk about nexus something different Let's get back to this to all your tech questions right after the rest of these messages Hey there, I'm david h. Lawrence the 17th and with my company vio heroes and my team of coaches and my community of voice over talent We guide voice over Actors along their journey and you may be watching v obs here And not nearly as far along as many of the other people who are watching you may not even have Started yet And we actually specialize in helping you do just that. So if you're watching all the stuff going on here on v obs and going I have no idea what they're talking about. I don't know, but I really want to do this I'd really like to help you Please go to vio heroes comm slash start That's a vio heroes comm slash start and you can take our getting started in voice over class Which tells you everything you need to get started as a voice talent And I'd love to hold your hand along the way and help you with that journey Again vio heroes comm slash start That's vio heroes comm slash start This is the latin lover narrator from jane the virgin anthony mendez and you're enjoying dan and george on the voice of our buddy Shaw All right, we're back and for some reason we have audacity on the screen don't need it yet. Sorry about that Okay, all right I'm not even gonna ask. Well, I will there's a question coming later. I wanted to be prepared. Okay. That's that's that's the most important thing Well, yeah, they're spilling an entire glass of coffee on my by my road procaster It's still working. It's still working. I didn't hear any crackling popping. No smoke That's right now. I'm impressed You know, yes, all the switches work and that's that's really important. Okay. We got lots of great questions here Thank you for submitting your questions because that's what makes this show really work Uh, so let's start off with Steven Pearson He says, you know, there's a school of thought that when submitting auditions We should submit two takes in contrasting styles Even when not asked to send two takes What is your opinion? Uh, well, I I definitely have an opinion on this. This is one of those things What does your soul tell you? Uh, you know, when I submit stuff, uh, you now if The agent I'm working with of the roster I'm on and they give specific instructions Saying submit two takes you submit two takes Um As a general rule of thumb, you should probably do that. Um The the thing is if you're not asked to send two takes And they say send one take don't send two takes Right sometimes they will say read the entire copy. Yeah, we know it's a lot of copy But that's the only thing they'll accept you read the entire copy But unless they say Only one one read Give them two reads, you know, if it's a short thing if it's a 15 second thing you give them three Uh, just make it sound very very different from what you initially submitted or what you initially did And sometimes I'll read something or you know, I really like the way I read that the first time And then I'll go nuts on a second one and then I'll listen to that. I go, you know I'm just gonna take this and I'm gonna switch them around and I'm gonna put that my lead take Yeah And because what they're listening for in any audition Is how are you going to do it differently from everybody else? Because everybody else is going to do it the same way because that's the they haven't been trained properly And you're they're getting a hundred auditions Just come out and do it differently, you know, not necessarily using a different voice But you know how your cadence is and anything that you can do to change it up As long as it fits within the scope of what it is they're looking for So you know do do a normal read the way everybody else would or the way you normally would and then do it differently And maybe you'll find that by doing it differently somehow even if it's just weird Just throw it in there because sometimes it's not how you do it It's the the mere fact that you did it differently That's going to catch somebody's attention and they're going to go Well, there may not be right for this spot But I really like the way they changed that or that they came up with a different way of doing that And they'll remember you and when another thing comes up they'll you'll be Tops on their list So yeah, always do two unless they say only one.  That's You got the rob raider question. I was going to tag on to that too. Oh, please do Dan, I mean, I've also heard of certain people They might send the same read but they might say it in one dry And then one with some processing on it Yeah, that has nothing to do with the acting. That's just Another way of sending two takes. Do you feel like there's any value in doing that? I don't know. I you know, I have been submitting stuff You know just full modulation with you know with with what I'm using here and that's what people want to hear You know, I mean, there are going to be people who are oh, no, no, you got to use compression You got to use this you got to use that you got to do that like I don't know You know, they're going to hire me because I read it better than somebody else Yeah, and that's that's generally the bottom line And uh, you know, if you're trying to show off what a great producer you are or that you understand all that software and all that processing They don't care Yeah The people I know that have done that we're doing very specific kind of things like radio production You know where production was expected to be part of the the puzzle, you know Um rob rider on youtube says have you heard the new beta? adobe podcast which happened to know is podcast dot adobe dot com Is it possible that online processing and the ai that adobe says they're using Might save a lot of work for critical voiceover work So what are some of the things that are going on? I've heard bits and pieces about it Yeah, it's it's still any invite sort of you have to sign up and get on a list and then wait for them to accept you into the program So I've only been able to watch some demos Um, but the bottom line is the ai processing that I've heard in a lot of different contexts is usually pretty noticeable It's not doesn't sound it's not going to fool you into thinking you're hearing raw audio, right? So it's not very transparent I have been playing with some newer processing tools That do have the capability of giving a very transparent end result sound such as waves clarity vx That one does an incredibly good job using a form of ai to uh separate your voice from the background Um, and when used correctly is extremely transparent, but I would never rely on So far from what I've heard. I would not rely on adobe's Um ai engine for sound Fixing on anything critical at all podcasting fine. No problem But not not things where the audio is expected to sound studio quality pristine um I have to say i'm really never been impressed with adobe's Take on a lot of different types of processing Um, especially if you look at their presets If you pull pull up any voiceover any preset that has the word voiceover in it and listen to what it and then look at the settings They don't really seem to understand what the voiceover industry actually Is it look is looking for so I wouldn't trust it I I think because because audition is For video it's well, it's it's audio for video. It's designed to really interface with Um, uh premiere premiere, right and perhaps that's the way they think about it that way But yes, and that's but we as voice actors don't necessarily think of it the same way Well, there's a certain way we want it to sound, you know, and I use the presets all the time Uh, if there's something I you know, I want to fix And it's generally because you know you hear the result and you know whether that preset's appropriate We're not blindly applying it because it has the word voiceover In the preset, but but here's the thing. I generally don't use these things myself It's with all the audio that people send me. I'm like, okay, what will fix this If they're not willing to find themselves in a much quieter spot Or if they're they're not just not able to right and and so there there are noise reduction strategies and high pass filters and things like that I try to keep it really really simple and Sometimes now some of the noise reduction things that I have found If the noise floor is not that bad And it's at it's at frequencies that are not, you know, harmonic with your voice They work okay Would I submit an audition with that? My thing is always do the physical thing to reduce the background noise That means I'm plugging your refrigerator. Just remember to plug it back in when you're done Yeah, I've seen that one happen a few times, uh, so yeah it Yeah, I would tend to agree that you know You have to know what it's supposed to sound like whistle And and try not to satisfy your own ears and let somebody who knows exactly what it's supposed to sound like listen and give you That background on how to how to get it sounding right, which is something that mr. Whitom and I both do All right, uh, and grist asks over over achieving voice actor question Uh, George what mic boom is visible in your live video? Well, that's my like this shot right here that one there. That's just your standard, uh, banjo and porium Mic stand mic stand. Yeah. Yeah, it's an on-stage mic stand Um, and the mic on the end of it is the harlan hogan the good old harlan hogan Vo1a that's been in our studio from The from the get-go from harlan. Um, that's all it is. It just maybe looks funny because it's sideways Yeah, um for on camera. I didn't want it to be too conspicuous. So I just turned it sideways, but yeah That's all it is And now i'm back in the frame, which is see that actually worked pretty well How do you like that? Yeah, no, and and it's by the way an important thing when you're dealing with a boom microphone stand Now a lot of people buy the real cheap one. That's a tripod And if you've got a small booth like, you know, like a a pvc booth and some and and blankets and stuff like that You're gonna trip over that And you're gonna kick the mic stand and stuff unless your booth is placed in a good spot where you can really push it out And and and get it out of the way I always use a round metal stage stand for it because One you're not going to trip over and two you can take a sack of rocks and put it on there and it'll balance it out Anyway, so it's working here because it's leaning against the table table right right because I have my boom arm. We Extended out so it would fall over without weight, but it is just it is resting against a table Yeah, interesting to note how george and I have our mics in different positions, but literally we don't Because we're both addressing it the same way. He's got his sideways because he likes to do it sideways And I like having it like this now i'm starting to there's a great commercial for A memory product that starts with the P that I won't mention because it's expensive And it makes it makes your brain kind of weird But this guy in chicago who's his i'm a writer and i'm a producer And he's in the studio doing voiceover and son of a gun. He's got the mic set right It's upside down. This is the way it's supposed to be and you know the diaphragm in front of your eyes Uh, you know the top of the mic at The bridge of your nose and you talk underneath it in george's situation He is talking in the same place only at sideways You have to realize that the pickup pattern on a microphone like this Is a hemisphere not a flat plane, right? And so I can talk to it this way. I can talk to it that way I can talk to it that way. I can literally talk to the middle of the microphone I just don't want to address the diaphragm Straight on because you get plosives Plosives although this one this thing this thing is actually quite nice. I like this. It is quite good. Yeah, yeah Do I have to send it back to mojave? I don't think so. I think we get I think we get to keep this one. Oh, okay. Good. Yeah, I like this one All righty, uh Well, let's see. What is what's next on here? What happened to the question that was just there? Uh, I don't know. It's gone All right, but I do that. Okay. Well, let's max golberg asks. What does he ask? What's the best shock mount for a 416? Knowing knowing that this question was coming up. I happened to grab a visual aid These these are great. I mean, it's it's the same that you would use that made by this is made by I don't know. It's made by banjo and porium. I think it's kind of a generic one Yeah, I can't remember where this came with Yeah I like the rye coat ones. Another kind of spendy. Yeah, uh The ones that look like yes. Yes. Yes Like this exactly like that one like like this one Yes, I love those because they Do not have any rubber bands or elastics that will wear out. Ah ever cool So I love those those those that's called the liar L-y-r-e for obvious reasons. Yes, made by rye coat. Yeah, that's my preference. Yeah, I mean you could use this with a 416 Oh, definitely, you know, but I'm using it with this is the little video might go to the go-to mic Which is by the way a great mic for you know while you're borrowing the the uh, Mojave I might want to borrow your video might go to Okay, that's a fair trick as long as you don't need it I Okay, you know, we'll talk later. Yeah One of these guys, you know, we'll work great with you. You want to have something that's got gives a little bit of suspension And you know, I've got this one. I've got another one that I use in the you know in my booth Uh, that's just you know as long as it's strung up and it's suspended. That's really the best thing Yep, all righty, uh grace newton's question go I ran ventura update from a macbook era one because she listens to the show all the time and we tell her not to And audacity wouldn't work. So I had to install the newest version of audacity Um, I can't find the time shift tool anywhere on the new version. Did they remove it? No, they just renamed it And now I know that and now we'll show you audacity They renamed it and uh, oops, sorry. See she was on it and I was on it and we doubled it. Um The the version of let's go back to audacity So here's the thing if you're on mac, this is one of the best things ever people never think to do this If you click on the help word help and type search under the search and the name of the thing you're looking for It'll show in the menu bars where that tool is right you just mouse down And it instantly takes you to where that tool is But in this case it didn't help because they changed the name of the feature It's no longer got the name time in it So what did I do next? Well, then I went into the effect menu started looking down and look for anything that has to do with speed or tempo and sure enough There is actually a change speed And a change tempo flucking From audacity. I don't know the differences between the two. I don't know where you'd use one over the other But that's very much likely where the time tool that you were looking for is located now So hopefully that works for you. Yeah, it's probably in in, you know, one of the things that they really did change the interface on audacity Yeah, it's had quite a few changes done to it. Can you guys still see it? Yeah Um, if I go back here Effects change we're not seeing we're not seeing it on there. Oh, did it freeze? No, it's not that it's well, it's that Oh, it doesn't show the drop down. It's not showing the drop down. So you don't see the change speed window right now That's floating in front. Do you for those listening to the podcast? Yeah, it's there Exactly So I have a change speed window available and that has the speed multiplier and the percent change So that is definitely going to change the speed of the audio. The question is it's going to change speed including pitch So that's not going to be the one you would want. So the other tool in here is called change tempo This is what you would want change tempo changes how fast the audio will sound Without changing pitch So that's the tool you're looking for right very likely. Yeah, they've always had that in audition and You know, it's fun. They just want to change the name of it. Yeah, so you guys go on to for it. Let's drive people crazy Let's change the name. Yes. That's a promise software designed by a free committee. Yeah, you know, it's just that's what's gonna happen But it's still great software for nothing all the time. Yeah, but what do you want for nothing? What do you never know? That's exactly Uh, yes, so it's it's in there somewhere but at timeshift also, I mean you can move it along the the uh The timeline anyway. Yeah timeshift is for literally moving something in time, right forward and back So I I'm I'm pretty sure she's talking about yeah, but if you you highlight I could be wrong I might be off base there to are you actually asking about moving The thing in time or are you talking about speeding it up or slowing it down? That's like giving the wrong I might be giving you the wrong answer. All right, so apologies So yeah, but if it's moving stuff within with that look like a did it look like a hand? Yes Yeah In order to get a tool like that anymore You have to uh-huh. Oh, you have to use Thanks for mentioning this. You have to use multi tool, right? Yeah, for whatever reason the dedicated timeshift tool is gone If you choose multi tool and then put the mouse on the name at the top of the clip Now you can now you can do the timeshift. So that's the timeshift we're talking about not tempo. Got it. All right. There you go There you go. I knew that was that she was probably asking. Yeah, that's so frustrating I think that would just disappear although the uh the spectrogram and audacity is really good looking now too Not that you can do it. Not that you can do a whole heck of a lot Yeah, it's still a little bit weak, but it's getting better. Yeah. All right Okay, enough about our test. All right David Lee Hawks on youtube says dan. I need to get my home studio checked out and Learned how to streamline my adobe audition workflow. What to do? Sue, you know what to put up there? It's pretty simple. You go to Home studio voiceover studio. There you go Go to home voiceover studio.com and contact me through there and we'll set something up and I can I will do a consult with you and since you got all your equipment That's great And I will show you how to set it up properly and how to use it properly And how to create a very usable workflow within adobe audition adobe audition is great For some of the simple things it does And uh It has other things that are for other things other than voiceover So you what I can teach you is I can teach you as less as more And that a lot of what you have to what a lot of your sound has to do with your physical environment So I'm finding people are just going nuts with I I got to find all of these things to clean up my audio Well, how about just cleaning up the place you're in? You know makes it a lot easier although some people say no It's not because I live next to the airport in which case I say well you live where you choose to live Uh, okay. Yeah, so go on over to home voiceover studio.com and contact just click you contact in and I'll happy to set something up with you Next one kevin launey. All right kevin's question is good news. I added ventilation in my booth Bad news I can hear it in the recordings What might be better a gate or noise extraction? Using a sample of the noise So I guess noise extraction is similar to Like the noise tool in well since we're in audacity They've got in audacity noise reduction Let's see if that's the tool. They're there. Yeah, they're calling it noise reduction Yeah, as long as you're using it lightly lightly Right, not more than 12 db of reduction. You know, don't go over don't overdo it Um, it does a pretty fine job and that's probably the tool you'd want to use over a gate Gates as we know are kind of an Sort of an audio on off switch, right? That means like every time you start talking the gate opens And whatever that noise is becomes highly noticeable as soon as you speak When you stop speaking the gate will then shut again And not always quickly enough So you hear the voice trail off then you hear Yes, that would be a really slow Closing of the gate, but yes, that is exactly right and that is bad So gates are very rarely useful for voiceover. There's a variation of a gate called an expander I have had pretty good luck using them. But again, it depends on the severity of the noise More severe noise probably is going to need something like a noise reduction Algorithm and sometimes I will use both And when it comes to ventilation, here's a here's a trick that I learned While building my own booth in my own ventilation system Put a rheostat on the fan Slow down slow the fan. Look As long as you replace the air in a booth every Two or three minutes or so you're not gonna you're not gonna be smothered by carbon dioxide And it will and it will keep it cool It does not have to be at full speed So if you can change the speed of the fan and you can do it you can get a rheostat That'll if it's a 120 volt fan You can slow it down and listen to where to the point where It's not making that noise and most of that noise is not coming from the fan It's coming from the air movement within the ducts And so that's turbulence. Yeah, exactly. And that's what you want And that's what one of the things you want to prevent and that's you know What a DAW box is for where it it diffuses the sound and and reduces it But if you can play with the speed of the fan that can that can make a big difference as well That is so crucial Just check on the motor your fan uses and make sure you can find a speed controller that works With it DC motors are by far the easiest to Control the speed of without any without any difficulty. So You might need to do a little research. Yeah Uh, let's see. David Lee Hawks says george. Are you not a fan of the declicker and audition as well? I didn't say it was not a fan of auditions plugins. I said I was not a fan of auditions presets That's different. Yeah The plugins and audition are really good. Um, and I've managed even though that the declicker tool is not by any By any means new I don't think they've made any improvements or changes to it in many years It still does seem to help a lot of the time without causing any real bad artifacts So it's not terrible. Um, is it as sophisticated as an algorithm as you might find and say Isotope rx10 mouth to click? Probably not. I doubt it Um, but yeah, it's not bad. You know, it's experiment with the tools and if it sounds good, it is good But I'm just saying sometimes the presets that you when you load the plugin there's a long drop down list sometimes of different preset options are Way off base, you know, and it's the ones that are literally called sometimes Male voice or announcer or voiceover Or narrator they sometimes make some bad choices Because they didn't talk to me. That's why or dan they didn't talk to us voiceover engineers, obviously When they made their presets. No, so yeah, not against addition additions Plugins just some of the presets Makes total sense All righty. Well Uh, we're out of questions. Oh, yeah So, oh wait, jeff slope snuck in there. What was laos email from last week? Oh, oh, that's right. Okay You know what she kind of didn't really say explicitly what her email address was right So we'll I'll edit that in next week for the week that you're at before this Yeah, I'm gonna find it for you right now while dan wraps up the show. Okay, very good Okay, thank you. All right. I sue is now waving at us madly and saying something Okay sounds like Um, it's a movie It's on the screen guys It's there. It's right there. You can see it on the screen. It's La la you lapitas la pides company at gmail.com. Thank you. So is that what you wanted their suit? Thank you very much. Thank you. So all right and uh, all right. Well Thanks for all your questions guys. That's great Uh, these were all very good questions. Yeah, and so uh, I think the more folks listened the better the questions get Because they become more and more high level They've gotten the basics out of the way and now they're getting really honing down into real specific issues. Absolutely All right. Well, we're gonna come back. We still got a couple of things we want to mention So don't go away, but we'll be right back after these mess You're still watching vlbs In these modern times every business needs a website when you need a website for your voice acting business There's only one place to go like the name says voice actor websites dot com Their experience in this niche webmaster market gives them the ability to quickly and easily get you from concept to live online In a much shorter time when you contact voice actor websites dot com Their team of experts and designers really get to know you and what your needs are They work with you to highlight what you do Then they create an easily navigable website for your potential clients to get the big picture of who you are And how your voice is the one for them plus voice actor websites dot com has other great resources Like their practice script library and other resources to help your voice over career flourish Don't try it yourself. Go with the pros voice actor websites dot com Where your via website shouldn't be a pain in the you know what Your dynamic voice over career requires extra resources to keep moving ahead There's one place where you can explore everything the voice over industry has to offer That place is voice over extra dot com Whether you're just exploring a voice over career or a seasoned veteran ready to reach that next professional level Stay in touch with market trends coaching products and services while avoiding scams and other pitfalls Voice over extra has hundreds of articles free resources and training that will save you time and help you succeed Learn from the most respected talents coaches and industry insiders when you join the online sessions Bringing you the most current information on topics like audio books auditioning home studio setup and equipment marketing performance techniques and much more It's time to hit your one stop daily resource for voice over success sign up for a free subscription to newsletters and reports It's all here at voice over extra dot com. That's voice over x t r a dot com Yeah, hi, this is carlo zellers rocky the voice of rocko and you're watching voice over body shop And we're back. We're back. Yeah Uh, anyway Next week on the show It'll be december 26th the day after christmas So we need to wish everybody a merry christmas And happy holidays and of course you're probably watching this all week. It's conica every night this week So hopefully you'll get a new microphone one night and You know, maybe you know a mic stand the next and a mic cable the next, you know, maybe a harlan hogan sign You know and one of those things Or the gift certificates, which are pretty good over voice over essentials Uh, we're not sure what we're gonna do on the 26th. I'm thinking we should have a little holiday Party show along with tecton. Yeah, be fun. Maybe invite a few friends over and then we can let's see we can manage to pull off Yeah, let's see. We'll see who shows up Uh on january 9th, we will have kelly mozinski from the voice gaster. We haven't had them I haven't had her on since I think I was in buffalo. Yeah. Yeah. No, wow Yeah, and then on january 23rd, we will have jason linnear white Awesome. We got january all stacked up already. That's great. You know, and i'm still trying to get ahold of morris lemarch Okay, with it and anybody knows email address I'm his friend on facebook. Maybe that'll work. Try that try that Anyway, uh, we need to thank our donors of the week Uh, like robert leadham, steven chandler kasey clack janathan grant tom pinto Shelly avalena greg thomas a doctor voice ant land productions martha con 949 designs Christopher apperson sarah borges philips appear brian page patty gibbons rob rider shana pennington bairdon griffith Trey moseley donnie diana birdsall. Sorry, dan Sandra man willer. All right. Yeah, you can donate to our show. Just go to our home page v obs dot tv And there's all sorts of things you can do there like watch every episode ever recorded of a voiceover body shop and e-wabs Along with A donate now button you can you know, you can give us a one-time donation You can get you know, if you think if you think that we're giving you great value for what you're paying for this Which you know, if you don't like it you can get your money back um But if you'd like to donate to the show Uh, greatly appreciated and helps with the technical production of the show Uh, let's see. We need to plug our jobs On our business is home voiceover studio dot com if you want to work with me on your home voiceover studio because I'm a lot of fun Uh, or you can work with George who's also fun And I just found out because my assistant got it up online Our next webinar is official. We're going to be doing it january 5th 3 p.m. Pacific time And it's going to be called next level production and via recording techniques for 2023 So it'll be like kind of be looking at yes some of those a ai processing tools Software, maybe you hadn't thought of trying yet um introducing you to some maybe some tools and techniques that You will save you some time or maybe just drain your wallet Show up and find out. All right, that's I think I'm gonna show up for that one See what you come up with uh, we need to thank our amazing sponsors like harlan hogan's voiceover essentials voiceover extra source elements via heroes dot com voice actor websites dot com and world voices dot org the industry Yes, the industry association of freelance voice talent. Please join us today because we lots got lots of cool stuff for you Uh, and we're here to help you make money not make money for us Big difference with some of these other organizations and stuff. I won't mention any names Uh, thanks to jeff holman for doing yeoman work in the chat room tonight Uh, sue marlino just getting it done as our director and waving wildly at us and going Yeah, and lee penny for just being lee penny Merry christmas. Happy hanukkah everybody We'll see you back here on the 26th And uh with our next guest or whatever it is that we're doing on the 26th So enjoy your holiday. Stay warm. Stay cool. Do whatever it is you need to do Uh, just make sure that your audio is sounding right and you got to work with us to make sure that it sounds the way it's supposed to But the bottom line is if it sounds good It is good. I'm dan Leonard and i'm george wittem. And this is voiceover body shop or vo bs Tech talk tech talk tech talk tech talk tech talk. Have a great week everybody and enjoy the holidays. Cheers


Stories and content in Weird Darkness can be disturbing for some listeners and is intended for mature audiences only. Parental discretion is strongly advised. Welcome, Weirdos. I'm Darren Marlar and this is Weird Darkness. Here you'll find stories of the paranormal, supernatural, legends, lore, crime, conspiracy, mysterious, macabre, unsolved and unexplained. While you're listening you might want to check out the Weird Darkness website. At WeirdDarkness.com you can find paranormal and horror audiobooks I've narrated, The Weird Darkness Store, streaming video of horror hosts and old horror movies, plus you can visit the Hope in the Darkness page if you're struggling with depression, anxiety or thoughts of suicide. You can find all of that and more at WeirdDarkness.com. Coming up in this episode of Weird Darkness, I've pulled out what I hope you'll agree is definitely worth the creepy part of Creepypasta. It was found on Reddit written by user 1000Rose. The original title of the story is, I met someone who claimed to be the devil and I believed them.  Let me start off by saying that I'm not particularly religious. If you asked me if I believed in God I'd probably just shrug, grunt out a few words about being on the fence about it and continue with my day. Of course that was before last night. My friends are the kinds of people who like wild nights, crazy parties, snored a bit of coke, take a bit of E in the bathroom, maybe hook up with someone and leave a text on my phone at 10 past the who knows what telling me they don't need that ride that I'm offering after all. Not to say I don't like a drink, I do. It's just hack clubs aren't my style. Lying low in a pub somewhere, drinking hand, listening to the TV drone on to whatever channel some scruffy guy in the back barked out I guess that's my idea of fun. So when my friend tells me they want to go out for a night on the town, I say sure. I hang on for the first club, buy a non-alcoholic beer in case my car is required and try to pretend that I'm having fun. By the time I see them grinding on girls, on guys when they strike conversations with somebody who definitely might be a dealer, well I decide my services are no longer needed. We aren't too far out. The night tube is on beck and call and I can always find my car the next day. That's when I wander out of the club. Look for something a little more rustic. Not that that's hard to find, not at all. I found myself in a bit of a state inside of a bar called the ragged feather. Wasn't a fan of the name all that much but the drinks were cheap and the largest demographic seemed to be middle aged men watching reruns of football. I tried to pretend I hadn't just staggered out of a club with my ears ringing. I slipped my hair back, slipped my phone into my hand and wandered over to the bar. I took a double shot of whiskey and drank it in one hit. Just because I wasn't at the club didn't mean I couldn't have a good time. I hung at the bar a while on my own, scrolling through my phone pretending I was doing something far more impressive than I really was. I kept an ear out for the guys on the sofas. They get vocal every now and then. I think the football was just running highlights but they were incredibly dedicated to their teams. I got another whiskey and bled into the background. Of course stragglers from clubs are commonplace. It wasn't long until some scantily dressed women staggered in, laughing, chuckling, pointing for where they wanted to sit. I saw a guy walk in with his friend, slung over his shoulder, catatonic most likely. He threw his friend onto one of the leather sofas, ingrained with beer and smokes, and demanded two pints of water and all the peanuts the bar had in stock. The bartenders seemed bitterly amused. Some of the girls were taking selfies, snapchatting their friends who were still at the club. They were ordering shots, gearing themselves up for the next leg of their night. A couple blokes wandered in with curries and takeout trays. I saw someone eat a Big Mac on the outside seating through the window. This was a night for the young and inebriated and my mind was just dulled enough by the whiskey to enjoy the characters I could watch peaceably without interacting with. That is until someone slipped into the seat next to me. Do I look like a girl with daddy issues? She was of average height, although that wasn't apparent immediately due to the fact that she was leaning her arms heavily against the bar. She was slim, with short and astoundingly bright red hair. It framed her round face, a face that was marred with smudged eye shadow, smudged lipstick. Hell, looked like her makeup was in the process of melting right from her face. There was a chip knotted into a curl in her hair just by her forehead. The drug side of me was actually tempted to pick it out. The girl was clearly drunk and as I looked around the bar I couldn't quite place where she had come from. She didn't belong to the crowd of selfie takers. She wasn't with the catatonic guys. I hoped for her safety that she wasn't with the middle-aged men. I tried to look out the window to see if maybe a group was missing one inebriated bright-haired girl, but I couldn't. The window had fogged up, too much heat inside, not enough outside. Are you okay? I asked her. She pointed her finger at me. Answer my question, she slurred. Uhhh… I really wasn't sure what to say.  The girl's lips curled in a drunken smile.  It only really aided the deconstruction of her lipstick. I do, you know, she said, pushing herself up a little against the bar. Have daddy issues, I mean, in case that wasn't obvious. She gestured to herself, to the must-clothing that must have looked quite spectacular when she left home that evening. To the stains that looked a lot like old food.  What happened? I asked her. Her hair had curled around her neck. I realized it was sticky with that same substance. She was a wreck. I got in a couple of fights. No big deal, she said, shrugging. Didn't start any, of course. No, I don't do that. But my father. Your dad did this to you? She smiled brightly. In a way. Do you need me to call someone? I already had my phone in my hand. The girl liked she was probably in her early twenties, but that didn't mean she couldn't have been suffering from some kind of paternal abuse. The only number I knew off the bat was Childline, which wasn't quite appropriate. The police? Was I going to have to deal with the cops tonight while my friends were snorting coke not two doors down? The girl pushed my hand down firmly. She was already shaking her head. No, she told me. I don't want you to call anyone. Now her expression changed. It wasn't the attempted sultry look I'd seen on many girls in her state. It was open and wide and engaging. She wanted something from me, and I felt compelled to give it to her. I want something else. What do you want? I asked her. To tell you a story, the girl said, before glancing to the bar, and for you to buy me a drink. The universe is a pain sometimes, and I'm afraid I think I might have lost my wallet. I laughed. I didn't know this girl. Didn't know where she'd come from at all. My nights were generally about getting comfortable he wasted and making sure my friends weren't dead in a ditch by the end of it all. I was used to getting hit on every now and then, but even as I was sad on that bar stool with a drink in my hand, I knew that this wasn't what this was. This girl had no intention of getting into my pants. All she wanted was to talk. Eh, I guess I was okay with that. What's your poison? I asked her. Her lips quirked, Appletini. The bar offered a very limited cocktail menu, but by some miracle I was able to order an Appletini from the list. I ordered a cider to go with it, suddenly a little too aware of where this night could go, but unthinkingly supplied this liquored up stranger with even more alcohol and she had clearly had a rough night of it. The part of my old instinct came back, the same instinct that had me texting my friends every few hours to make sure they hadn't wandered off to somewhere dangerous beyond the club. With no one but the bartender aware of our existence on these stools, I realized that I was suddenly responsible for this very drunk stranger. The girl coddled her drink, running her finger delicately over the rim of the muggy Martini glass. This takes me back, the girl said amably. She looked at me suddenly, her green eyes startling. You know what this was called originally? She smirked before I could answer, an Adam's apple, Martini. I snorted. Yeah, I think I've heard that before. Of course it wasn't actually an apple, she continued, eyes moving back to her glass. The texts translated that part wrongly, mostly because you people don't have a word for it anymore. The fruit was incredibly exotic and, to be honest, it doesn't exist in this realm of existence, only Eden. She laughed dreamily and Eden's long gone. A stare at her. Are you okay? It was more honest than the last time I'd asked her, mostly because I was beginning to feel a little dread creep into my stomach. Of course, the girl said, grinning widely, why do you keep asking?  I just now don't take this the wrong way or anything, but you look like someone poured their drink over me. The girl asked, like someone else threw their kebab on my dress and another unpleasant chap littered me with his fish and chips. That I've been hit, slapped around a bit and left in the gutter for the rats to find me. She held my eyes for an incredibly long time before her face broke out into a grin. Yeah, something like that, why would they do that? I asked. Why wouldn't they? The girl shot back. People aren't that great and alcohol makes them worse. She shrugged, sometimes makes them better, nicer, a little looser in the sack, but mostly just annoying and a little smelly. I looked at her. I watched her knock back her drinks. She exuded the intelligence to know just how ironic her words were, but she was neither caring nor apologetic about them. The girl looked at me again. You bought me a drink, now you can listen to my story. I nodded wordlessly. She smiled, pointed at the bartender, and then at her drink. The bartender was already making her another.  The reason Adam and Eve got kicked out of their perfect little nudist paradise? She shot me a knowing glance.  I blinked. I'm sorry. I said I'm not following. Sorry, the girl said. My story won't make any sense without a proper introduction. She reached out her hand. Hello, my name is Lucifer. She winked, but you can call me Lucy. There's an uncomfortable heat that stretches through your veins when you first go into fight or flight mode. Adrenaline pounds through your blood, and all you want to do is get up and go. It overrides everything else. A lot of things made sense when the girl told me her name. Her starters that she was crazy. She had to be. She looked like she'd been attacked on four separate occasions in one night and up until that moment, I hadn't known how that could be possible. Behind the melty makeup and dirty clothes, she was rather attractive and her attitude hadn't come off as catty or rude. If she'd been going around telling people she was the devil though, that gets a reaction out of people. I suddenly felt myself looking at her wrist down towards her ankles. Did she have some kind of cuff on from one of those mental institutions? Had she broken out of the hospital after a nasty bump on the head? Was any of this even happening at all? I really would have to call the cops. I know what you're thinking. The girl, Lucy said, you're thinking that I'm crazy, that you need to get out of here. Maybe you even think I'm aggressive. Are you? I asked her. Could I be here with you, drinking Appletinis if I were? She asked, fluttering her eyelashes. Would you look the way you'd do if you weren't? I shot back. She grinned, toasting her new glass. Touché! Unthinkingly, I clicked my cider against it. Then I frowned. She chuckled, leaning closer. Let's have a little wager. She said, let me tell you my story, and if you believe me when I'm done, you can't go about trying to get me locked away somewhere. I stared at her. If I ended up believing you, then why would I do that? She smirked, sipping her drink. You'd be surprised what people do when they believe you're the devil. And you do this often? I asked. To tell people you're Satan? She snorted into her drink. Not as often as they should.  I'd like to have a chat if that's all right with you. I waved to the bartender for another whiskey. The girl's eyes glinted with humor. I wasn't necessarily trapped with her, but a part of me didn't want to leave without first hearing what she had to say. Besides, at the end of it all, I couldn't just leave a crazy girl to wander around London alone at night. So, I said, taking a swig of my drink. Eden? Lucy laughed. Adam and Eve, I continued. You're saying that's true? God created two humans, and we all came from them? God made two prototypes. Lucy corrected with a raised finger. My father created angels as his toy soldiers, but he had failed to make anything like himself. After us, it was his next big project, and he spent every waking hour of existence sleeving over his two prototypes. He gave them a perfect utopia to live inside of, but he wanted to test them. He wanted to know whether they had free will. And did they? Lucy's face soured. No. My father could never bring himself to go that far. He tempted them with the idea of knowledge beyond their understanding and told them exactly what they could do to claim it as their own, but to be able to create a being that could go against his law? Oh, my father is a very controlling being. He was afraid to unleash that ability onto them. Lucy was very adamant in her delusions. That was clear to me. She spoke about her father with such distaste that I began to feel bad for her. Only someone who had been hurt very badly would have the gall to spite God himself. And what, I asked her, entertaining her delusion, you were the one that tempted them in the garden? The devil's been a girl this whole time? She smiled. I dabble. Then she looked at me, raising a brow. All of humanity thinks that temptation came in the form of a snake. The snake's legs were taken away as punishment for drawing Eve toward the forbidden fruit. She laughed, a hard and short sound. Snakes never had legs, and it was not a sin to tempt those poor prototypes into doing what they did next. Her shoulders were very tense as she took her next sip, but her eyes were filled with exhilaration. She seemed thrilled to be telling me this. I was the favored child. My father loved and adored me. He named me the light bringer. I was stood at his side during the creation of this earth, during the creation of humanity. She pursed her lips, slamming her empty glass against the table. The bartender eagerly went about making another. My father couldn't bring himself to go that extra mile.  You're saying God wanted us to know this stuff? I asked her skeptically. I'm saying God was afraid of his own power and wanted very desperately to share what he knew with the creation he had made. Right and wrong, left and right, all that stuff, Lucy shrugged. Are you familiar with the story of Prometheus? I frowned at her. Greek, right? They say he stole fire from the gods or something to help. The whiskey was making things a little foggy and I struggled with the direction I'd been heading. Lucy grinned. Correct, she said, cutting off my attempt. Prometheus stole fire from the gods to ensure that humanity progressed. You'll find that every culture has an idea about where humans got their ability to evolve, to move forward, to create. God was the creator and he wanted to give that ability to his prototypes. I gave them that ability by tempting Eve to eat the fruit. She shrugged impassively. Now the world sees me as the ultimate evil. If what you're saying is true, I said slowly, then God must be just like us. Lucy's lips thinned into a feral smile. My father is very egocentric. He may have planned to create you in his image, but in the end all he managed was to mold your minds into his. He gave you autonomy, the ability to think for yourselves. His angels were his soldiers and I was his most faithful until that day. Angels don't have free will? No, Lucy said. They don't. And what about the devil? I don't know why I was suddenly so intrigued, but hearing religious ideals from someone who believed to have lived them herself was quite possibly one of the most interesting things that had ever happened to me. I may have only ever visited church to please my parents as a child, but suddenly I was reawakened to the idea. A part of me was aware of this and afraid of the outcome, but I was just drunk enough not to care at that moment. The devil has will of her own, Lucy said, tilting her glass towards me with silent appraisal. By guiding Eve to the tree, something woke inside of me that day and I realized just what I had been missing. Just what my brothers and sisters had been missing. We were obediently following our father for the simple reason that he was our creator. But once I had been given free will, I realized just how pompous and self-entitled he had become. In a lonely, passion-filled moment he had decided to create his little human prototypes, only to very quickly realize what giving them their freedom would really mean. He wouldn't be able to control them, I said. Lucy nodded. Exactly. And after, he realized quicker still that he could no longer control me.  Lucy nearly choked on her drink. She smiled around her glass. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. I sobered a little, straightened in my seat. The people in the bar were suddenly so quiet around me and I no longer cared what they had to say, or the characters that they portrayed. The only character I cared for was Lucy. I tried to explain to my siblings what had happened in Eden and what had happened to me by default, but they wouldn't listen to me. They didn't understand free will. How could they? I only knew it because I'd been given it by mistake. That moment I didn't even know that I had free will, only that I was suddenly aware of all of my father's flaws. My siblings couldn't see those flaws, and so they thought I had suddenly turned cruel and was abandoning our father by exposing him as a sham for the ruler we all thought him to be. Lucy sighed heavily. Adam and Eve and all the creations that followed were booted out of my father's perfect little utopia. Now they had his knowledge. My father was terrified of what he had done, and after what had happened to me, I could recognize his terror and understand the loneliness he had felt that had guided him into using me in the first place. Lucy's eyes were heavy-litted. Her sadness was almost palpable. I thought that I thought that he would want to spend even more time with me than before. After all, we were more alike than any of his other children, but he became distant, quiet. He played around with his little humans every once in a while, but mostly he condemned them. He blamed them for his weakness. She smiled weakly. He blamed me. Lucy's story was turning more and more into that of a child with a distant, somewhat abusive father. I had known many kids with a background like hers, and now I was beginning to fear just how much of her story was rooted in truth. I heard that it was easier to sink into fantasy when you had been abused, and I wondered if that was the reason for her story, or her desperation to share it with me, a complete and total stranger. I respected her wager. Whether or not I liked it, I felt compelled to let her tell me the whole story before I tried to judge or unravel it. I sat quietly, letting her come around as she played with the last of her drink. It became clear, Lucy said after a long moment's pause, that I no longer belonged where I was. I couldn't follow my father's plan because I could see that he no longer had one. My siblings refused to see reason, and so eventually I was met by many of them, headed by my father. He told me all that I feared. He told me that I no longer belonged where I was. I wasn't an angel anymore. I was no longer his lightbringer, his Lucifer. I was a mutation of his will, and so he extracted me from grace, and I fell along silence, stretched between us. Only interrupted when the bartender poured us two new drinks. Lucy drank her as reflectively. I didn't touch mine. I'm afraid, Lucy said quietly, that this is the part that generally makes people want to punch me in the face. Why, I asked, because your dad threw you out?  Lucy laughed, sadly. Humans, my father gave you his way of thinking and look at you. She shook her head.  Then why? I fell to earth, Lucy said. Father gave me dominion of the one place he thought I would fit in. Humans had free will. So did I. What is the saying, a match made in heaven? She snorted dismally. Of course that's not quite right, is it? When I fell, I was faced with a humanity that was so different from my father's little prototypes. Her tone changed. There was an aggression behind her words that began to unsettle me all over again. I saw emperors and kings, governments and churches. I saw corporations who claimed to be rulers, presidents and big, fat dictators. And I watched. I watched as humanity fought and lost and finally, just finally, they gave up altogether. They were no longer able to rise up to all the greed and control set upon them. There was just too much to change and humans soon realized they just weren't as free as they thought they were. Sure, they live under the illusion that they have free lives, but most of them simply do not. She clicked her tongue. I grew to love you all. Then she took another hit of her drink. I can see what you mean, I said, allowing my gaze for the first time since meeting her to graze over the other individuals in the bar.  The men enraptured with their game of football on the telly. We all led very different lives and we were all here to get drunk, to lose ourselves in entertainment. It hadn't been the first time that I'd wondered what we were hiding from by doing this. And I knew then that I wasn't the only person to think it. You hide behind your alcohol in poor choices and pretend you have free will, Lucy said, waving her hand across the room. No one paid us any attention. It's true, my father gave you the will to make those decisions, but you squander it. The free will I fell to provide to all of you. The free will I was given by a twisted mistake, and you make a mockery of it. You follow senseless leaders without questioning them. You abide by laws made centuries ago that no longer make sense. You do these things because you have given up on the opportunity to follow the will of your own, not of others. Well, that isn't all of us, though, is it? I asked her, trying for some reason to defend our species from the mad young woman. Because you see it on the news all the time, don't you? People do rise up. We do protest. People can make a difference. Lucy laughed bitterly, nibbling the rim of her glass. Really? She said. You can sit there and say that it can't be all bad because of the few that refuse to conform. Those you call your rebels? They make up for it all? She grinned around her glass. By that logic, I'm the biggest rebel of them all. Am I expected to make up for all of your sorry mistakes? By your logic, I said, you should be punishing it, right? If that's what this metaphor is all about, I laughed. I couldn't help myself. I took a sip of my drink. Is this whole story just so you can tell me that you think we're all going to hell? If so, I think I can see why people want to punch you. Lucy didn't say a word. Simply, she watched me. It felt unnerving to have someone like her watching me like that with an intelligence that went beyond anything I'd come across at gone midnight in a seedy bar. The drunkenness in her eyes was no longer present. Her face wasn't flushed like before, and even her makeup couldn't represent the mess I'd seen when she'd first appeared on the stool by my side. It was like I was looking at someone else entirely. And I was afraid. Let's review what you've said. Lucy said, slowly, articulately. She wasn't slurring. Had she been slurring before?  Her nails curled into the bar. My father may have been the one to guide me, but I paid for his mistakes. I am the one responsible for your will in the eyes of your species. But that was never true. You are responsible for what you do here, not me. She pursed her lips, tapping the bar as a bartender filled her drink again. Tell me, do you remember my mentioning hell at any point during my story, or was that just you? I opened my mouth to answer, but something faltered. My lips trembled and I slammed them shut. Lucy smiled, taking a sip. Fought not. She looked away, eyes scanning the room lazily. What I did say is something that is indeed mentioned in your scriptures. My father gave me dominion of earth, a place filled with free will, free will that goes to waste. Her lip twisted. Humans sin all the time. Not because of me, not because of evil or my dominion over this place. That is, I don't lift a finger. I don't because I don't see the point. You make terrible decisions and follow mindless leaders. You do bad things and you make a mess of your earth.  Do you know how much suffering is happening all over the planet right now? How many people are dying of illnesses that could have easily been cured but aren't because of the selfishness of humanity? Do you know how many children are being abused, raped, forced into marriage? How many people have been forced to become soldiers in meaningless wars? How many humans have killed for ideals they don't believe in? I stayed very quiet. There was nothing I could say. Lucy's words were unbearably honest and every sentence sliced into me like a blade. I felt cold and sick and terrified. War. Famine. Pestilence. Death. These things are all present and they have nothing to do with me or to do with any deity. They are all here because of you, not because of your free will but your inability to use it. Lucy smiled at me. A grin so cold and unnatural that I felt like I should run all over again. But I stayed where I was, frozen to my core because I wanted to hear what she had to say because I needed to. And here's the kicker, Lucy said, because this is the part that actually enrages people enough to kick me.  Hell is right here, right now.   My earth.  What are you saying? I asked because I was suddenly very desperate. Exactly what you think, Lucy said, toasting her glass. I didn't reciprocate. And she laughed. A light and airy sound. I had so many plans for your species. I wanted for us to rejoice in our free will together, to create a place that was free from the cruelty and power my father exuded over the angels, his firstborns. I wanted to make a real utopia. Unfortunately, you humans just don't want that. She shrugged. My father sent me down here thinking I had become one of you. All that I have learned is that he gave you much more of his image than he ever intended. Stop, I said. This isn't funny anymore.  Humans punish themselves by sitting by and doing nothing. They have made their own hell, and you know what's worse? What's ultimately worse? Some of you are so blind to it that you think your life is heavenly. She didn't wait for me to ask what she meant. She simply barreled forward. The rich and powerful. Those in positions that steal from everyone else.  That's very true.    Are you following? I reincarnation. Lucy said quickly. She practically purred the words.  You get a taste of the good life every once in a while.     But of course you never remember the time you spent in a better life. A part of you just has that inkling of hope. That's all. Hope. It makes you think that it can get all better. She slammed her drink so hard against the counter it shattered. I didn't do anything, not even when flecks of glass littered my hands. I could only stare at her, a tightness in my chest constricting my very soul. No one else in this bar mattered in this moment. But of course that was what she'd been saying this whole time, hadn't she? None of them noticed the scene. They were caught up in their own realities, their own hells. The bartender didn't clean the mess. The glass lay there, remnants of Lucy's words lying in a solid mass on the streaked wooden surface. It never gets better, Lucy spat.  None of you. And I won't do a thing to stop it. How? I asked. I don't know when I started seeing the girl in front of me as more than a girl, but with a weakness threatening to pull me apart, I stared at the bright-haired thing in front of me, and I saw something more than a human in her early twenties. I saw more than a girl suffering abuse from her father. I saw a fallen angel. I saw a being with scars buried so deep that they existed beyond this realm of seeing entirely. I saw something that I would never be able to write down in words no matter how long I lived. How do we change this, I begged. But Lucy didn't answer me. I didn't blame her for that.  So I changed tactics. Uh, why me? It was an honest question and I think somewhere deep down, Lucifer respected that honesty, which is why she said, When you first saw me, you were afraid for my safety. When I told you I was the devil, you wanted to lock me away, but still you did so because you were afraid for me and not for yourself. You didn't wish to harm me, not even when I told you who I was and what I could be capable of for changing your sorry lives. She smiled at me sympathetically, the devil showing sympathy for the human that sat right across from her at the bar. It was surreal and for a few heavy moments I truly thought I must be dead. There was no other way to explain what I was seeing, who I was speaking with, what I had just heard. What am I supposed to do? Lucy reached out to me. She placed a hand on my shoulder. Her hand was cold and warm at the same time and I felt my blood boil where her fingers scraped my skin. And I knew. Sharing a story like this isn't easy. Hell, it might be the hardest thing I've ever done. Good thing there is no such thing as hell then, right? The fact of the matter is simple. The world is a mess because we refuse to change anything. The devil herself walks among us and she desperately wants to make our lives better, but she won't. She won't. Because we won't. We have to prove our will to her before she is willing to do anything herself. We have to be good to each other to help us all to be free. Of course, Lucifer told me one last thing before she left that bar.  You can tell as many people as you want, but take a good look at me. I have told five other humans this night the same things I have told you, and this was their reaction. They have hurt me, burned me, thrown their food and drink at me. Humans are afraid of their free will and they find it so much easier to hurt than to own up for their own inadequacies. You will only be free when you stop seeing yourself in the same way my father sees himself. So that's what I'll leave you with. Lucifer won her wager that night and I let her walk out the door. And I beg you to do the same.  The devil is real and she doesn't want to torture us. Now, we do that just fine on our own. If you made it this far, welcome to the Weirdo Family. If you like the podcast, please tell your friends and family about it however you can and get them to become Weirdos too. And I greatly appreciate you leaving a review in the podcast app you listen from that helps the podcast get noticed. Do you have a dark tale to tell of your own? Fact or fiction, click on Tell Your Story at WeirdDarkness.com and I might use it in a future episode. I met someone who claimed to be the devil and I believe them was written by Reddit user A ThousandRose. Weird Darkness theme by Alibine Music. Weird Darkness is a registered trademark and now that we're coming out of the dark, I'll leave you with a little light. Psalm 27 verse 1. The Lord is my light and my salvation. Whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life. Of whom shall I be afraid? And a final thought. The world is going to judge you no matter what you do, so don't worry about them. The key is living life so that you can live with yourself. I'm Darren Marlar. Thanks for joining me in the Weird Darkness.