Hollywood, California, Monday, September 7th. Lux Radio Theater presents James Cagney in Is That Soul with Robert Armstrong and Boots Malory. Lux presents Hollywood. During the next hour, the makers of Lux Flakes bring you an entertainment headed by such famous Hollywood celebrities as James Cagney, Robert Armstrong, Boots Malory, Cecil B. DeMille, Dr. A. H. Giannini, Sheila Graham, and Louis Silvers. In the motion picture studios are found the greatest collection of costumes in the world, and we know of no higher recommendation for Lux Flakes than the fact that all the leading Hollywood studios protect these wardrobes by washing them in Lux. Order some tomorrow. You will find that stockings and all clothes that are washable last longer and look newer when cared for with these pure, gentle flakes. There's no harmful alkali, no cake soap rubbing with inexpensive, wonderfully effective Lux Flakes. And now our producer, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Yorkville, one of the frolicking sections of New York City, is famous for its fine German citizens and fine German food. It's burgers and it's hamburgers. Thinking of James Cagney coming from there is almost as hard as imagining Hitler, a native of Dublin. Yet it was in Yorkville that James was born, a harp and a German band. Before he started swinging his fists at various screen villains, Jimmy was a bellhop, a bundle wrapper, and a tearoom waiter. With the money he earned, he studied art at Columbia University. But the most remarkable thing he ever painted was a verbal picture of his career as an actor when he talked his way into a job in Vorderville. Some years later, Jimmy won his first dramatic part by a hair, in fact, a whole head of hair. They were looking for an actor to take the part of a swaggering hobo in a play called Outside Looking In. The first requisite for the role was that the actor have red hair. Other players were after the job, but Jimmy took his hat off to the producer and went to work. When his biography is written, it will probably be titled So Red The Head. To moviegoers, Cagney has since become the perfect example of a wise-cracking Irishman with muscles of steel and the heart of gold. In reality, there are a few more cultured gentlemen in Hollywood. His taste run to music, especially the piano, and art. He's quite accomplished in both. In tonight's play, however, he appears in the type of role that has made him successful on the screen. He is Hap Hurley, a prizefighter's manager. The unmanageable fighter being managed is Robert Armstrong, one of the stars of the play when it ran on Broadway for two years. We shall hear him as Chick Cowan, who rates as a lightweight, both mentally and physically. Our leading lady tonight is Miss Boots Mallory, who plays the part of Sue. And now the Lux Radio Theatre presents the first round of our comedy, Is That So, starring James Cagney with Robert Armstrong and Boots Mallory. We're in the dimly lighted dressing room of the Bronxdale Fight Club in New York City, where we find Hap Hurley and his fighter, Eddie Chick Cowan, the pride of Brooklyn. Chick, ready for the next bout, has just had his hands bandaged. But there's a dreamy look in his eyes, which seems to cause Hap a great deal of concern. Hap paces the floor nervously, offering last-minute advice. Now, Chick, now, Chick, just remember one thing, will you? Keep your mind on a fight. Don't think of nothing else. Just think about the fight. What? The fight, remember?  Hey, Hap, you think she'll be there? You're crying out loud. Will you forget James for a minute? I'm talking to you about a fight. Now, this is important. If we don't win, we don't eat. Gee, Hap, she's got such pretty eyes. Now, look, Chick, I'm going to tell you just once more.  Everything is riding on that brush that's not all of yours. Now, will you please, for my sake, for your mother's sake, will you please forget that, James, for a while? Boy, has she got pretty teeth. Just like, uh, just like corn on a cob. No kidding. I wish you'd have broken her leg before you went to that Brooklyn yesterday. I wish you was born on a hymen. Okay, you guys, you're on next. Okay, okay, we're coming right up. Now, come on, Chick. Now, look. Just like I was telling her. This guy's just sucking for a straight left, see? I wish I knew where she was sitting. I'd like to wave to her. I bet she'd like that. Oh, all right, all right. Don't listen to me.  I didn't see how much that day will think of you. Oh, is that so? Yes, that's so. And fight the one. Listen, you get this. Come here. You know the rules. Clean breaks and clean fight. All right, okay, rep. My boy always fights clean. Okay, Dan.  Now, come on, Chick. Come on. Now, sit down. Now, listen, just remember what I said. When he comes out, when it... Hey, what are you looking around for? Half. Ain't that her sitting over there? Will you stop thinking about that, Dan? Now, there's the bell.  Now, don't forget that left. Chick, Chick, get in there. Get in with that left. Get in to it. Stop looking around, will you? Chick! Come on, Chick, get off the grass. Huh? The grass. Get off it. What for? You dragged me out to the park and then I can't even sit on the grass. It's wet, you dummy. You want to catch your death the cold? Sit on the bench and I'll poke your one. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Since when was you me old man? Okay. Okay, stay on the grass. Crawl under it if you want to. I should grieve over a rosin bum like you. Bum? Oh, I have.  I'm done with you. You and your James. You mean I'm done with a fighting game? I mean you better go back to the Navy and leave Bach's fighting and Emma's can stand it. You a fighter. Gee. That's a hot one. You a fighter. Oh, Hap. Listen, I get you set up. A guy that couldn't punch a hole through a lace curtain and what happens? I bet the whole roll on you, that was the worst. And you deliberately self-get yourself knocked out.  Oh, gee. I told you, Hap. I could have swore I saw right there in my met in Brooklyn. Oh, James. James. Always looking for James. Where is she now? No dough? No dame. They're all alike. Oh, Hap. I'm sorry about that go tonight. Honest I am, Hap. No kidding, Hap. I swear I'll never look at another dame again, so help me. I wouldn't care if you started a harem. We're washed up, see? Oh, good evening, boys.  Oh, that's all right. It's perfectly all right. I meant to drop it. Better come back in the morning and get it. Say, you wanna fight? Sure, we wanna fight. I'm this boys manager and he fights anybody, see? All right. Tell him to take off his coat. Huh? Huh?  Hey, take it easy. Take it easy. Hey, you know who this is. I don't care who he is.  And then I'm going home and do the same thing to my sister's fiancé. Oh, now listen, chump. This is Eddie Chicao in a Brooklyn. If he's an admiral in full uniform. Come on, Mr. Chicken, who is this?  Oh, now listen, mister.  Sick? Oh, sick, huh?   He had kind of a bad fall a night. Oh, is that so? Are you really sick? Yeah, yeah. I ain't dying to feel very good today. Well, now, that's too bad.  Is that all right? Sure, sure, that's fine. Is that so? Who said it was fine?  I must manage a seat.  Yeah. Well, now, let me tell you, Mr.... Hoily, hoily, hop hoily. Quite so, Mr. Hurley. And this young man is... Eddie Chicao in a Brooklyn. Eddie Chicao? Yeah. It seems to me that I've heard that name somewhere. You have just told it to you. Oh, yes. That's where I heard it. I knew I'd... Oh, I beg your pardon, gentlemen. My name is... it'd be my car. Oh, thanks. Mr. C. Clinton Blackboyne. This is Mr. Blackboyne, Chick. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Blackboyne. You know, if my head would stop going around for a minute, I could think. Didn't I see you whip young Tierney last month? Ho-ho! And what a lacing he gave that bum. And when I think of what he did tonight, oh, that makes it even worse. Something go wrong? Yeah. He turned around to look for a dame. I'll lay you off, will you? Look, Cap, I'm awful hungry. How's forgetting a cup of hamburger, sir? Yeah. How about some nice breasted chicken on the glass? No, I think I'll get a nice soiler and steak. And what do you think you're going to use for money, slug? Pardon me, but do you boys mean that you're broke? Broke? Listen, mister, tomorrow we start borrowing from the church mice. Get it? Oh, that's terrible. I'll tell you what, you boys come home with me and we'll get something to eat. What do you say? Oh, that's all nice of you, but... No, no, no, not a word. We'll take a taxi. I live way over that way. In Brooklyn? No, no, no, no. Park Avenue isn't in Brooklyn. As well, huh? I'll get a taxi. Taxi! Hey, huh? You're supposed to show right? I think this guy is nuts. It's aces, you sap.  Come right in, boys. Thanks. Johnson! Oh, headache. Oh, you'll be okay in the morning. Johnson, where are you? Pretty swell joint, eh, Chick? I'm sorry, boys, but the servants seem to be out. You just drop your things over there. We'll see if we can find something in the kitchen. Hey, somebody's coming.  They're in the town again, weren't you, Clint? I was beautifully. Mr. Hamperley, Mr. Eddie Chick, Count of Brooklyn, my future brother-in-law, Mr. Robert Parker. I wish you'd make a little less noise, Clint. And you needn't bother calling for Johnson or anyone else. The servants have left. Oh, they've left, have they? Well, I don't have to ask why. Where's my sister? She'll be home, presently. Does she know the servants have left? What difference does that make? They left because I told them to leave. I hope that's sufficient explanation. When Sue comes, tell her I'll be in the library. Oh-ho! You will not guy get along fine, won't you, Clint? Yes, don't we? Oh, I wish I had enough nerve to do what I'd like to do. It's that bad, huh? It's worse than that. Say, I think you boys can do something for me, if you will. You want me to take a poke at that guy? Hey, you're always taking a poke at somebody. It's the one you wouldn't do it at the right time. And maybe you wouldn't hit the mat so often. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Is that so?  Leave him get through. Well, yeah, go ahead, Clint. Well, as I was about to say, I'm almost convinced that my brother-in-law to be is a crook. No kidding. Well, at any rate, he's made some insinuations against one who can't defend himself, one whom I, well, you understand. No, I don't understand.  I've never understood nothing in your whole life. Is that so? Yes, that's so.  Okay, Clint, go ahead. Thanks. Now, there's plenty of room here in the house. You boys might just as well stay here and I'll stake you until you're back on your feet again. All I want you to do is to get me into some sort of good shape again physically. Then I can attend to Parker myself. What do you say? Sounds good to me. Hey, Chick. Oh, it's no use. What are you going to do with a guy like that? Hello, Granny. Oh, Sue. I want you to meet some friends of mine, Mr. Hurley, my sister. How do you do? Speak to me to Ms. Blackpointe. And this is Eddie Chick Cowan, my sister, Chick. Hiya, babe.  Why don't you and Chick go into the kitchen and help yourselves? I want to speak to my sister for a moment. Sure, just don't mind about us. We'll be okay. The kitchen's straight back. Just keep walking. We'll find us all right. Come on, Chick. Clint, where on earth did you ever... Who are they? Now, listen, Sue, dear. They're going to stay here and get me into shape again physically. Stay here?  You know, perfectly well, Robert would make a terrible row. Well, let him. After all, this house is mine, or rather ours. You're not married to Parker yet, and I'll be darned. Clint, you know we can't afford to antagonize Robert. I'm not so sure anymore. I don't believe everything that Crook says. I don't care if he did handle the estate. I still don't think poor Jerry had anything to do with embezzlement or forgery or anything else. But, Clint, how can we afford to take a chance? Robert swears at Jerry for... I know, I know. But I'd be willing to bet that Parker took that money himself. You know as well as I do, that our brother never gambled, so how could he possibly have owed all that money? And forgery, Jerry never did anything crooked in his life. But what can we do, Clint? We can't afford to drag Jerry's name to the court. It'd be different if he were alive and here to defend himself. Well, he isn't. And Parker has enough evidence to blacken his name in ours too. We'll just have to keep on this way. Well, I still don't see why you have to marry the Crook. Well, you certainly don't suppose I like the idea any more than you. But he holds all the cards, Clint. We've got to play his way. By George's, too. I've got it. You've got what? An idea. A tremendous idea. Parker fired both of the men's servants tonight. Why not make Happ and Chick the butler and second man? Oh, Clint, you're talking nonsense. Well, why not? Well, because they know nothing about it. They'd be terrible. You know they wouldn't last a day. I'm not so sure. Oh, Happ. Happ. Well, right up. Hey, Clint. Why do you keep the ketchup around here? Happ. There's something I'd like you to do for me, if you will. Clint, please don't. Anything you say, Clint. You know me. Old faithful, happily. Good. Two of our servants left suddenly tonight. Yeah. My sister's fiance, Mr. Parker, you know, was rather fussy. So we thought perhaps that you boys would accept the situations just for a week or two. You have, uh, you could be the butler. Butler? What would I have to do? Oh, you know, sort of look after things. Manage the household. Oh, a manager. Oh, sure. That's a cinch. And what about Chick? Well, he'd be the second man. Footman, you know. Footman? Oh, that'd be OK for the kid. Footway swell. Well, then it's all settled. You see, Sioux? Yes, I see. Well, as long as you're going to remain here, you may as well begin now, Hurley. Straighten up the kitchen, then you may retire. I'll give you detailed instructions in the morning. Good night, Hurley. Good night, bottom. Boy, was that good or was that good? That was fine. Good night, Clenny. Good night, Sioux. Now, uh, in the morning, have... Hey, Clen, what have I found? Turkey legs. Don't drag them in here. You'll love them.  Stop. Hey, Clint, what's that guy in the big picture in the hall? The one with all the braid all over him. That's my older brother, Jerry. He was killed in a plane crash several years ago. Say, didn't he used to be in a Navy? Yes, he was in the Navy when he died. I thought I knew that guy. I served on his ship once. It's well, fella. Yes, he was, wasn't it? Yeah. Well, I guess I'll grab a bucket of cake out there. Hey, come back here, you. What's the matter?  You got a new job. Oh, yeah? Yeah.  I'm a what? Well, maybe I'd better explain to him half. Won't do no good. All right, I'll leave it to you. I'm going to bed. You'll find your quarters right off the kitchen, boys. Oh, will you need anything tonight? Well, how about the loan of a toothbrush?  We'll be fine, Clint. Don't you worry about us. We'll see you in the morning. Right, you are. Good night, boys. Good night, Clint. Good night. Great guy, ain't he? Yeah. The dame's OK, though. Now, listen, mug, I'm telling you it was the last time. Cannot dame stuff. She's a lady, see? Oh, OK. I ain't saying nothing. You know, Chick, the only thing I don't like around here is that guy Parker. Yeah, me too. Say, Chick, don't you remember that guy from someplace? Sure. Here's the dame's fiance. Yeah, I know, but what else? What else? Let me see. Seems to me I met that guy someplace before. Yeah, met him when we come in. Yeah, but before. I mean before. Oh, before, yeah. Seems to me I seen him before, too. Hey, you shouldn't hate to live in Brooklyn. Oh, you and your Brooklyn. Brooklyn and James. Brooklyn and James. That's all you can think about. That's right. Yes, that's so. That's right. Yeah, that's so. That's right. That's right. In just a minute, we'll continue our presentation of Is That So? But first, a little domestic drama between the scenes. We're in the modern apartment of Jim and Elsie. They are dressing to go out in the evening. Elsie is putting on her stockings and pop another run. Just listen to Jim. What again? Oh, say, I thought I could cut down on those stocking ones. Oh, yeah? Well, put your mammoth brain to work. Say, it never stops working. I'm full of dope on the question right now. Well, spill it, big boy, but make it snappy. Oh, OK. Here's the first tidbit. You know, I heard Sis spilling a mouthful about runs the other day. Oh, I bet she was crabbing. That's why you're balmy, baby. She's got the runs problem licked. Come on, Sis says, I tell a guy how you do it. Elsie's runs are driving me nuts. And she says nothing to it. Hardly a run have I had since I switched to Lux. Say, that's an idea. Well, I'll say so cupcake. And here's another. Another what? Another juicy bit. Herdmer's secretary spilled this one on the phone. I suppose her stockings never pop or run. Right the first time. And you know why? She uses Lux, L-U-X. Well, I'm a smart girl, too. Here's where I switched to Lux. Clever women everywhere are learning how Lux cuts down on stocking runs. It saves elasticity, you see. Cake soap rubbing and soaps with harmful alkali weaken elasticity. Then even a slight strain on your stockings may snap a thread and start a run. Try Lux. You'll be amazed at how much longer your stockings wear. And once again, Mr. DeMille. We present the second round of our comedy, Is That So, starring Jimmy Cagney as Hap Hurley and featuring Robert Armstrong and Boots Mallory. It's one week later and all is not well. Despite the fact that they've tried their best, Hap and Chick don't seem to be cut out for domestic service. We find them preparing a buffet breakfast for Sue and her fiance, Robert Parker. Hap and Chick are standing at the buffet, clumsily juggling the hot plates as Parker glares at them from the table. Hurley, would you please hurry that breakfast? Yeah, sure. Come right up. Come on, come on. Step on it. Will you, Chick? I'm doing the best I can, and I... What do I know about cooking eggs? Oh, what do you know about anything? Look out! I, uh, think I dropped the plate. Pick it up, you dope. Pick it up. What for? It's all busted, anyhow. Oh, I ought to slug you. Give me that ham. If it's for Parker, season it with cyanide. Here's your breakfast, Miss Sue. Thank you, Hurley. Hey, Hap, I forget. Does that Parker guy get two three-minute eggs or three two-minute eggs? Cowan, would you please remember to place a mister before my name when you speak of me? Ah, keep your shirt on. You don't have to be lucky I talk about you at all. Come on, Chick, fix the eggs. Oh, wait a second. Help us. I'll show you. I've never heard of such impertinent, Sue. I don't see how you tolerate such servants. Oh, they're making such a change in money. I think we can put up with them for a week or two. Here's your eggs, Mr. Parker. Must you do that? Oh, stop beeping, will you? If you don't like the way things are done around here, why don't you do it yourself? I'm sorry, Sue, but I refuse to tolerate such treatment. When you've taught your servants more respect, I shall return for my breakfast. Good morning. Hurley, I'm afraid I must insist that you look careful of the manner in which you treat my guests. And after all, Mr. Parker is my guest. Yeah, but from what Clint tells me, that guy ain't exactly welcome around here. Please, Hurley, some fresh toast. Okay, I get it. Some more toast, Chick. Ah, gee, hap, I can't wait that toaster. No kidding. I've been myself three times just trying to wait it. Why can't they eat bread plain around here all the time? More toast, more toast, more toast. Okay, useless. Go on up to the gym and tell Clint he can come down for breakfast. I'll make the toast myself. Go on! I don't get no consideration around here at all. Always do this, do that.  Say, uh, say, uh, Miss Sue, can I speak to you a minute? Oh, yes, Hurley. Yeah, that's one of the things that's been bothering me. That's our Hurley business. I don't understand. I mean, you've been teaching me all that etiquette stuff and how to talk and say the right thing and all that, but I've just been wondering, is it etiquette for a dame?  Uh, to call a guy a man, uh, uh, by his last name, to me, it just don't seem right. You mean it doesn't seem right, Hap? Yeah, yeah, it doesn't seem right. Sounds sort of cock-eyed. Well, it's the custom, Hurley, to call servants for their last names. Yeah, but gee, it was I, no Simon, you know that. I'm a fight manager and a good one. I'm only doing this to help Clint out. And you, too. I bet I couldn't have stuck it out this long if I hadn't been so keen about you. Clint. We really appreciated, Hurley, and I'm sure that... Oh, there you go with that hurly stuff again.  Well, suppose we compromise. What's your Christian name? I'll call you by that. I'm sure Hap isn't what you were Christmas. Nah, that's only short for happy. Well, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll tell him your right name, and I'll make you a promise. My right name is Alfred, and my middle name is Boitrum. And the promise is I'll sock anybody in a nose that calls me Boitrum. All right, suppose we settle on Alfred. That's the idea, and I'll call you Sue. Oh, I'm afraid that wouldn't be more quite the thing to do. After all, someone might hear you. All right, then. Susan, how's that? Well, Miss Susan would be better. Huh? Well, after all, you are supposed to be the buffer here. Oh, that's only a gig. I know, but as long as you're here, you'll have to act like a buffer. Okay, okay. I'll call you Miss Blackburn or Miss Susan or anything you want.  All right, Clint, three more. One. So. Three. What's that at work? How do you feel? Great. Yeah. Lifting weights is good for you. I make chick do it every day. Hand me that towel, will you? Here you are. You know, I didn't tell you. I like to arrange a bout for chick. That is, if it's okay with you. A fight? Where? Right here in the house. Oh, I get it. You want him to bounce that parker guy around, huh? No. No, I'll be able to bounce him around myself soon. No, I'd like to arrange a regular bout for you for a week from Wednesday against regular fighter. Who is he? Ever hear of Johnny Duffy? Duffy? Yeah, I know him. Well, he's driving a car for a major fit Stanley, a friend of mine. We got to talking. We thought it might be fun to have a bout right here at the house. Chick versus Duffy. At the house? Yes. We could ring up a ring out in the garden and have some friends over. I thought it would be good training for Chick. Yeah, it'd be kind of a workout for him. But if a look like Johnny Duffy, you know much of my boy. I'll let someone take it easy. Chick's coming around all right, eh? Coming around. Right now, he could lick nine gorillas. Hmm. Well, of course, this is just sort of a friendly match with Duffy. But, uh, Hap, do you think we could trust Chick with a real bout? What do you mean? Can we trust him? Say, I seen a guy open him 2,000 bucks to throw one of the Navy championship fights and Chick nearly tore him up to both. That isn't what I mean, Hap. I don't doubt his honesty. I'm talking about women. Is he likely to repeat that last fiasco? I don't know, Clint. But I'm pretty sure we got a real important battle with his mind on it. You really think he's ready to go? Oh, I just dropped my hat. All right. Hand me that phone. What are you going to do? I'll show you. Do you know Pat Kelly? Yeah, sure. He manage a soccer goodman. He'll be a heavyweight champ. Yeah, I know he does. That's why I'm calling him. Hello. Hello. Uh, Mr. Kelly, please. This is Mr. Blackburn. Just tell him Clint Blackburn. He'll know. Hey. You mean to say you're going to... Hey, Chick! Hey! Chick, come up here. Hello, Pat. How are you? Well, that's fine. Say, Pat, are you Chick Cowan? Well, I've acquired an interest in the boy. How about doing business? No, no, no. I mean for a bout with soccer, of course, for the championship. Oh. Oh, you do. Uh-huh. Well, uh, how much? Wait just a second, Pat. Say, Hap. Yeah? Is it the usual thing for a champion to demand a guarantee before agreeing to fight for his title? Yeah, that's right. Just on a line. Oh, I see. All right, Pat. It's a deal. I'll be down with Hap early tomorrow, and we can discuss the thing in detail.    About four? Right. See you then, Pat. Well, Hap, it's in. Yeah! You hear that, Chick? We fight the champ. No kidding. We sign the papers tomorrow and post a guarantee of $10,000 for Goodman's end of the purge. $10,000? Of course. Why not? Yeah, but $10,000, that's a lot of dough. Well, I've seen Chick work out, and I think he's worth the gamble. You see that, Chick? A match with the soccer laid right in your lap. That damn it, Brooklyn. She'll be tickled at death. Listen, listen now. You ain't calling no James.  No, I ain't. You ain't. Who says so? I say so. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Hap, did you get the ring fixed up? Yeah, yeah. It's all set and ready for the slaughter. Chick'll murder that dummy guy. Fellow Hap, not guy. All right, all right. But he murder him anyway. You know what? I can't get used to that fancy language. I've been doing some heavy wrestling with it, too. You know I don't correct you out of meanness, Hap. It's only that, well, I do want you to improve yourself. Oh, yeah, sure. I know that.  Why not? What's the matter with being a prize fighter's manager? There's no future in it. Future? What do you think you ever want to stop fighting? But it's now that you've got to look ahead to what you intend doing. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. That's something I want to talk to you about. You know, Chick meets the champ in three weeks now. Do you think you'll have a chance? A chance? Yes, and he'll put the soccer out like a light. And when he does, well, that's what I want to speak to you about. What? I'm afraid I don't understand. Well, well, Chick the champ, that sort of changes things around. You know what I mean? I'll be in a big dough, and as soon as I get this English gag licked, I'll be a couple of different guys, see? Now, what I mean is, you see, I'm no good at this sort of thing. What on earth are you driving at? Well, look. Look, here's how it goes. We're going to lose a draw. We're quitting a night, me and Chick, right after the Duffy scrap. Quitting? But why? Well, we've got some heavy training to do, and we can't do it wrestling caught me parts.  And when I ain't a servant, that's a horse in a different garage, see? When I'm a sock peddler's pilot and I'm in a dough, well, then, uh, then, uh, how about it? Do you realize, Hap, that you haven't said one thing yet that makes any sense? Yeah, yeah, I guess not. Well, it's only this, Miss Sue. All my life, I've been hating women. I've been steering Chick away from them. I've been giving them the cold shoulder to myself. All they was bad medicine anyway, that's what I thought. But I was wrong, see? I was 100% wrong. Um, well, here we go.  What happened?  I know I ain't good enough for you. I know that, but then nobody is. Nobody or nothing. Well, I hardly know what to say. Well, I'll do anything for you, Miss Sue. I'd even stop picking on Chick. I ain't no good at telling things like this. There's a lot of guys got more brains than I've gotten and more dough and better looks and all that. But there ain't nobody in the world could think more of you than I do. I'm terribly sorry. You feel that way, Hap? Fine. Ain't there no chance for me? Well, how can there be? Well, we live in different worlds. It's just impossible, Hap. Well, why is it impossible? What makes it impossible? Oh, hundreds of things. Family? Physician? Family? Huh. What's the matter with my family? I go with the nicest families you've ever seen. I'm Irish, see? Straight to where I'm Irish. And I've got the blood of kings in me. Back in Ireland, my family were the tops. From way back. And all we ain't got now is money. You make it so terribly difficult, Hap. Is that all you've got to say? Make it difficult? What can I say? Okay, okay. I get it. Oh, I don't know where I've got the idea. I stood a chance with a girl like you anyway. Must have been ought me nut. Oh, please don't feel that way about it, Hap.  I like you a lot. Really, I do. It's just that... Oh, well, sure, sure. I know. Well, don't let her worry you. We just forget the whole business. Hap. Hap, come back. Oh, skip it. Skip it. Hap, listen. Hey, Hap. Get a look at the old one, too. One, two. One, two. Boy, when I land down on Duffy tonight... Hey, Hap. What's the matter with you, Hap? Can't you pay no attention to me? Huh? Huh? Sure you have. I ain't never seen you like this before. What's eating you? Oh, nothing. I mean nothing. No. I mean nothing. Oh, that Susie dame, huh? You just keep your two cents out of this.  They'll be waiting for us up downstairs. Okay. I, uh... I guess she's stuck on that Parker guy, all right, huh? Uh, in a pig's foot. That cooking got her in four per minute. Say, Hap, are you sure that guy Parker ain't never lived in Brooklyn? I could swear I've seen him before. Yeah, me, too. Me, too. But there's one thing I'm telling you. I never want to see him again, or Sue, neither. I was never any good at that dame where I get... And now it goes double. What does, Hap? It wasn't good enough for her. Just a prize fight manager. A family wasn't good enough for her. I guess she didn't know that, did she? Mm-hmm. Well, just let her wait. That's all. Just let her wait. She'll see that, that, uh... Gee, Hap, I didn't know you felt like that. Oh, stop it. Well, you stop it. Ready, boys? Yeah, in a second, Clint. Fine, we're all set outside. Make it as fast as you can. Vic, I see Clint. It's all set, Vic. Chick's coming down now. Is your boy ready? Oh, quite, quite. But I see about that little bed of ours. Still on, right? Right. Did I hear you say something about a bed, Vic? Oh, hello, Parker. Is betting the order of the day, Clint? Well, Fitz and I have a small bed, if that's what you mean. Why? Just that I thought I'd like to place a small rager on the boat myself. What are the odds? I'm giving Fitz 5-to-1 on Chick for 100. 5-to-1? Hmm. Do I get the same odds? If you want them? 5,000 to 1,000, shall we say? I see, Clint. That's a bit stifter, do you think so?  All right, Parker. It's a bet. 5-to-1 for 1,000. Right, you are. Well, I'm going in the house for a moment. See you later, Clint, old boy. Duffy. Yeah? You want to see me, Mr. Parker? Come in the library a moment. Sure. Well? Duffy, I've got all the 5-to-1 on you tonight. How do you feel about the fight? Okay, okay. But this guy's cowing. He ain't no pushover. Listen, Duffy, you've got to win. You went to a clinch out there, and they cow and listen to reason. Huh? There's $1,000 in it for each of you. If he laid down and let you win. A thousand bucks? Oh, gee, Mr. Parker, I'll try.  All right, get out there. Okay. Feeling okay, Chick? Sure, I'm swell. All right. But remember this. There's a lot of James here tonight.  Remember what happened to you once before, but turning around? Don't worry about me. It's in a bag. Oh, I say quiet, please. Please quiet everybody. Well, here we are, Gallard Hill's evening, to learn the relative merits of two stalwart pugilists, my chauffeur, Duffy, and Clint Blackburn's footman, Chick Cowan. In that corner, ladies and gentlemen, it's Mr. Duffy who weighs something in the neighborhood of, I think, 175 pounds. Yes, thanks. Well, thanks very much. And in the other corner, scowling furiously for no earthly reason at all, is the other sportsman, Clint's footman, Chick Cowan. He weighs roughly the same as Duffy, but you can see he's not nearly as well-constructed. Righto, let's get over the old hostilities. Are you ready, boys? Show it. Righto, Clint. Say, Chick. Lay off the chatter and fight, Duffy. No, listen. Listen a second, will you, Chick? Let me click a second, will you?  You're going out just as quick as I can put you out. Now, wait a minute, wise guy, will you? There's that brand in it for you. Let me win a decision, see? There is, huh? Hey, listen, Chick. You don't have to get sorry about it, see? Oh, I don't, huh? Listen, I was only doing what Parker told me to do, see? Oh, Parker told you to tell me that, huh? Yeah, Parker. I got it. I got it. Hey, Hap! Don't turn around, you sap! Snap out of it.  Snap out of it so I can take a pocket to myself. What hit me?  Why that? Let me at him. God, sit down. You always want to fight after it's all over. Well, what were you looking for this time? Christmas? Hey, Hap. I remember him. Oh, his nibs. Parker, I remember him now. That's why I wasn't paying no attention to Duffy. All of a sudden, I remember who this Parker is, and then... Well, now isn't that just dandy? So you remember him, huh?  No, you don't get me, Hap. Parker, we've been trying to figure him out all this time. Well, listen, he's the guy who tried to slip me 2,000 bucks for throwing the Navy championship fight. Why? He is, I tell you. He just tried to do the same thing tonight. Duffy told me. Well, then that makes him the guy who was ticked out on a Navy Honor forgery rap. Sure, Parker. Holy smoke, that's who it is, huh? Oh, boy, this is terrific. Clint will be tickled, huh? Oh, he was just about to kiss us all around for luck. Oh, boy, so he was the guy in San Pedro, huh? Sure, it was Parker, all right? And he offered me 2 grand to hold up. Kid, you're okay. Oh, Mama, I could do a little dance without news.  Yes, it was very clever of both of you. Oh, say, Clint, we were just talking about you. I know. I admire your cleverness. In fact, you're too clever to be wasting your time here. Well, Clint, Chick just told me to... Yes, I heard. And as soon as both of you can dress for the street, please go, throwing me down for a few measly dollars. Hey, wait a minute, Clint, you got this all wrong. Oh, for your own sake, you ought to listen, Clint. Chick, just remember to... There's really no discussion necessary. If you leave an address, I'll send your wages to you. And the fight with the champ? That's off.  Okay, okay. Come on, Chick. Let's get going. Well, I don't want her go letting Clint think that way. Oh, come on. He knows what he's doing. The blackbirds always know what they're doing. Wait a minute, Hap. Here's Sue. She'll fix it for us. Where are you boys going? Listen, Sue, you tell Clint for us, will you? Make him listen. Oh, come on, Chick. There ain't no use.  What is it, Clenny? What's wrong? Parker bribed Chick to throw the fight. I don't believe it. I can't doubt my own eyes and ears. I heard Chick telling Hap he was offered money to throw the fight. Then they danced around like a couple of lunatics. I saw them. I heard them. I still don't believe it, Clenny. I'm sure there's some mistakes. Gee, Clen, if you'd only listened for a second, I didn't even talk to Parker about this fight. I was telling Hap about... I'll be inside if you want me, Sue. Well, I guess that's that. Come on, Chick. Hap. Hap, I'm awfully sorry about everything. Oh, that's all right, kid. But I do wish you'd tell Clint that we never done nothing crooked in our lives. Tell him that, will you? And if he wants it, we've got some news that ought to interest him. Come on, Chick. Let it go. This is for station identification. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System. The playword is famous for its good-looking girls, but they're not all in the movies. Walter Winchell recently termed tonight's guest the prettiest newspaper woman in America. An English debutante, she was presented at court a few years ago to the king and queen, but gave up a whirl in society to whirl on the stage. After dancing in the chorus of London musical shows, she became understudied to Jesse Matthews. Then she jumped to fame with a leading part in Noel Coward's play, This Year of Grace. As a dancer, she was noted for her ability to kick. In fact, it was one of her kicks that started her off as a columnist. A newspaper published an article about chorus girls to which she objected, and she's been writing ever since. She came to Hollywood a year ago, and today her gossipy news about picture stars syndicated by the North American Newspaper Alliance is read daily by 20 million people in newspapers all over the world. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Sheila Graham. A very nice introduction, Mr. DeMille. After all, Sheila, you have 20 million readers. What would you like me to speak about? Your job? Nothing about luck. Well, luck speaks for itself. I wish more stars spoke for themselves. For example, Jean Arthur, star of your new picture, is extremely shy. She sincerely believes she has nothing of interest to tell a reporter. The silence is golden. But not on the radio. You'd be in a spot if I followed that advice right now. And let's discuss talking stars. Or shooting stars, like Gary Cooper. I saw him on your set yesterday doing some fancy work with a sick shooter. Incidentally, he's the only star I've seen in Hollywood who's even better looking off the screen than on. Is that so? I've never regretted giving up acting and running my career into a newspaper column. To me, reporting is much more exciting. Still, I can't forget my chorus girl days abroad. In every studio I visit here, I bump into Lux Flakes in the wardrobe department, just as I found it backstage in England. In that respect, they're just as advanced as Hollywood. But that's not news, Sheila. Can't you give us some facts that aren't so well known? All right. Here goes. One of the biggest money makers on the screen is the radio star Bob Burns. But Bob still drives a $25 automobile. He's convinced his success is just a dream and that any minute he's going to wake up. Maybe that noise we've been hearing isn't a bazooka after all. Perhaps it's just this snoring. Perhaps. But the champion sleeper in Hollywood is Ned Sparks. Ned can take a nap any time and any place. Merleau-Bron has a most considerate figure.  Eating is probably Louise Reiner's favourite habit. She loves to visit friends' iceboxes. So does Fred McMurray. Incidentally, Simone Simone, the new French star, also has her weighty problem, but has shed 10 pounds since coming to Hollywood. Paul Muney tells me he's anxious to leave pictures and get back to the stage. Paul, by the way, has a curious habit of lying down on the floor when he's eating or being interviewed. Ronald Coleman will do anything to prevent his picture being taken, but is the only male star who doesn't powder his nose for photographic purposes. Your star tonight, James Cagney, just told me that women can take a sock on the nose of pictures, that is, much better than men. Clorette Colbert is the most superstitious star I know of. She always leaves a building by the same door she entered it for good luck. Leslie Howard seldom looks at the person to whom he's talking. He prefers to play with his pipe or the heel of his shoe. And as for me, Mr. DeMille, I much prefer to play with a typewriter than a microphone. But before leaving, I'd like to ask one question. And that is? Is it true that the fan mail for this programme is sometimes addressed to Cecil B. Deluxe? Is it true that you're going to publish a book of witticisms like that last one known as Graham Crackers? Ow! I think I've said enough. Good night. We raise the curtain on the final round of his at-so, starring Jimmy Cagney as the unhappy Hap Hurley and featuring Robert Armstrong and Boots Mallory. A month has passed and Chick has won the championship. In the library of the Blackburn Home, Sue has arranged a meeting with Parker, Clint, Chick and Hap. The fighter and his manager have still not arrived and Parker serves restlessly in his chair. My dear Sue, might I ask exactly why I'm here? Please be patient, Robert. I'm afraid too my patience is rapidly being exhausted. Wouldn't it be just as well if we postponed this gathering of yours until some more practical time? Oh, I couldn't think of putting this off any longer, Robert. This is something I've dreamed of for years. Clint, will you answer that? I suppose I'll have to. Hi, Clint, old boy, old sock, old pal old boy. Hiya, Clint. Come in. Oh, thanks.  Good evening, Hap. Hiya, Sue, making a new world's champ. Congratulations, Chick. Ah, it was nothing at all. Hiya, Parker, old bean house tricks. So what is the meaning of this, Sue? Sit down, Robert. I'll explain everything. Yeah, sure. Pull up a chair, Parkie. Well, Sue? Well, first, Robert, I'd like to make a public apology. I've made it privately several times. I think I'll feel a lot better if I make it again here. Oh, now, Sue, listen. Listen, you're not... See, Tap, I want to.  I'm sorry, Hap, really. There, now, I do feel better. You didn't hold this little party for that, did you? Patience, Clint. We now come to a second vital point. My engagement to Robert Parker is here, and now I'll brought definitely to an end. I'm telling them, touch.  Well, that's the first good news I've had in weeks. So the engagement is broken, is it? Definitely. Now, that's too bad. I was hoping there'd be no necessity for something ugly. Are you quite sure, Sue? Quite sure. I imagine we shall have to go to the law about a little matter of embezzlement and forgery after all.  Oh, I don't think you'll be bothered with courts much. Stop beating about the bush, Sue. What have you got up your sleeve? Well, as a matter of fact, Clint, I don't think that Mr. Parker's going to remain this country very long. Do you, Hap? Well, personally, I think he's going to find it kind of hot around here. Of course, if he wants to stay, that's up to him. What if he's wise? He'll scram and scram quick. South America would be nice. Don't you think so, Chick? Yeah, it's all right. But a lot of guys like Canada better. Pardon me, Sue, but aren't you a little premature about my plans? You're forgetting about your brother. He was involved in little difficulty, as I remember it. I think his memory should be considered. It's being considered, Robert. I assure you. Now comes the third vital point. Robert Parker, it gives me the greatest pleasure possible to inform you that we know you to be a liar and a thief. What? And a double-faced water rat in a bargain.  We've got the goods on you, Parker. I took it on myself to do a little investigating for Sue here, and I found out plenty. The way I understand it, you showed Clint and Sue proof that some dough had been lifted out of their estate. Then you showed them notes their brother was supposed to have forged and some records of gambling losses. But you didn't hand over the notes, did you? No. You kept them to hold over their heads. Well, that's called blackmail.  Yes, blackmail. You've known all along that I've hated you and that Clintie hated you, if you used our love for our brother Jerry just as a means of marrying a portion of the blackburn money. It doesn't work. I'm going to marry Hap Hurley. What? Sue, you mean it? Sue, think what you're saying. Well, I have thought. I love Hap just the way he is. And I wouldn't change him for anything. Oh, gee, Sue. That's too bad. Think of the shock when members of the social registry read that Jerry Blackburn... Don't worry, don't worry. There won't be nothing to read. We've been looking into your past, Parker, and we got you all lined up for a nice room in a bed in a state prison. Really? Yeah, really. You was in a Navy for a while, wasn't you? I, in a Navy. Yeah. You were a quartermaster on a Texas. And that's where you met Sue's brother. Quarter-Rot, Sue. I've never been on a battleship in my life. Ah, yes you was. But you was using the name of Collins then. This is all preposterous. Really, Sue, I'm not going to... And you were dishonorably discharged when a Navy aide was found that you had forced a senior officer's name to some important receipts. That's correct, isn't it, Sue? Check. I think you've carried this far, far, far enough, Sue. I won't argue with you. The whole thing is too silly.  Oh, can't I? Chick Quinn was the first time you saw Mr. Parker. Well, I'm the favorite to win the Navy championship in a light-heavy division, see? And this guy Parker, he was a quartermaster on our ship. He comes up to me and offers me two grand to take a dive. Wait a minute. Listen, Hap, is that what you and Chick were discussing the night of the fight with Duffy? Yeah, sure, Quinn. Sure. That's what we tried to tell you. I was telling Hap that I recognized Parker. That was the reason I turned around. He told Duffy to offer me a thousand bucks. And all of a sudden I put two and two together and it spelled Parker. Well, I don't know what to say, boys. I've never been so ashamed in all my life. Oh, forget it, forget it. It just took you a little time to get on, I think. That's all. But the fight, I've been wondering about that all night. Who provided the guarantee for soccer Goodman? Well, it was Sue. Sue? You mean you put up $10,000? Yes, and it proved to be a very good investment. I now have a half-interest in Chick and a full-interest in Hap. Then, then you and Hap really? Oh, she was only kidding me about that, Clint. You've got nothing to worry about. Did I say anything about being worried? And did I say anything about not being serious? Oh, now, wait a minute, Sue. I can take kidding just so long. Now, it ain't kidding no more. But Hap, I meant it. Of course, if you've changed your mind. Oh, gosh, no, no. I just, I mean, I was... Well, I just... Dames, all the time, Dames. They ain't no good, says him.  When I want any help, I'll ask you for it. How is that, Sue? Yes, that's Sue. Yes, that's Sue. If you always settle your little difficulties, I'll see to it that Mr. Parker gets safely through the front door. Come, Mr. Parker, you are leaving. Say, Clint, just one poke at him first, huh? Oh, no. No, I'm going to show Mr. Parker out alone. Come, dear, Mr. Parker. You all think you've been very clever, don't you? Go on, Scram, before I take a poke at you. Can you imagine that, Hap, letting that crook get off like that? Like what? Tell me, did you hear that sock? Ha, ha, ha. Well, I still wish I could have punched a couple of his tape out. Listen, you do know more punching around here, you see? Only when I tell you that. I mean, I and Sue. Oh, Hap. Yeah, and you ain't going to be making so many trips to Brooklyn either.  Oh, but Hap. No trick, no argument. You do just as Hap tells you. Oh, is that so? Yes, that's so. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Is that so? Yes, that's so. Tonight's star, James Cagney, returns to the microphone shortly. Though you have never seen him on the screen, though he has never credited with a single film, no man exercises more significant influence in Hollywood than Dr. A. H. G. N. N. A., banker to the motion picture industry. Son of Italian immigrants and subject as a boy to all the struggles besetting people in straightened circumstances, this man who loans millions of dollars yearly to the picture studios began his professional life in medicine. As an intern, he once volunteered to treat a man dying of typhus. The victim lay in a pest house in San Francisco confined with lepers. Dr. Giannini and the nurse went to his side, but it was too late. The patient died. Forty-eight hours later, the nurse was dead. Dr. Giannini himself stricken. Another doctor came to treat him. That doctor died. But the young intern survived. During the Spanish-American War, he again volunteered to administer to 1,200 Negroes, desperately ill with smallpox. For this service, San Francisco publicly honored him. Dr. Giannini left his practice to follow his father and brother in a small banking business. Today, practically every major studio in Hollywood owes its start to him. He is now directly connected with films as president and chairman of United Artists Corporation and trustee of both Columbia Pictures Corporation and Universal Pictures Corporation. His presence is distinctly an honor to the Lux Radio Theater. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. A. H. Giannini. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. It's a pleasure to appear in the Lux Radio Theater. The importance of the motion picture industry in the world today is second to none. Lately, there has been a tremendous interest in films abroad, particularly in England. Its significance cannot be underestimated. Foreign nations realize that if a country acquires a permanent monopoly in this field, that nation will eventually dominate the world. In a sense, Europe today is governed by the slogan, I care not who makes the laws of the nation if I can make its motion pictures. Trade used to follow the flag. You mean now it follows the films? Exactly. Girls in foreign capitals constantly keep their eyes on Hollywood for new ways of dressing their hair and new styles and clothes. More and more American phrases are found in English publications. Our traditions, culture, language and social values are gradually Americanizing the globe. The end result is that the profit element in pictures abroad has become a secondary consideration. Their prime consideration right now is to maintain their own tradition and history. 25 years ago, doctor, banks not only refused to loan a penny to motion pictures, but I know of one bank that said they preferred not to have the account of any motion picture company. You ended all that. But what prompted your participation in pictures? First, I realized that the motion picture was the only commodity in the world for which people were willing to pay sight unseen. Any merchandise that can influence people to that extent must, I concluded, be worthwhile. Second, motion pictures have an almost limitless field. They are made to be enjoyed by everyone. Third, they appeal to children. To me, that was and is yet the best assurance for the future of any business. I've seen what children can mean to banking. Many years ago, I started the first school savings system in California and later in states all over the nation. These accounts, which began with pennies, have since increased into the millions. Yet, when I entered the motion picture field, I was not entirely alone. A new bank in Hollywood was beginning to give recognition to movies. Mr. DeMille was its first vice president. Not because I had money, but because I knew pictures. But to you, doctor, goes the distinction of being the first man who definitely made out a respected security for a loan. On one occasion, I was criticized by bank examiners for putting half a million dollars in a company distributing Charlie Chaplin's picture the kid, instead of investing that money in guilt-ed securities. Several weeks later, my loan was repaid, but the guilt-ed securities tumbled from $100 a share to $80. In 1929, when the country was plagued by depression, Hollywood again limped to Dr. Giannone. Largely through his help, not a single studio closed its doors throughout those trying times. Production, in fact, actually increased. Tell us, doctor, how do you determine if a picture studio is a good risk? By applying practically the same principle I used years ago in New York City. At that time, Mrs. Giannone and I often had young guests at our home, school girls and boys. They loved to visit us because I always show them motion pictures. On that purpose in doing so, I wanted to see what photo plays they applauded the most. It was the studios whose films these youngsters like best that got the help they needed. Today, the only difference is that I make my decisions by the applause of the nation. And in so doing, Dr. Giannone has been the financial rock to which motion pictures have cast their anchors in every storm. A rock with anything but a heart of stone. It's been a long time since I've been in medicine, but I haven't forgotten that a doctor must know not only the body but the man as well. In a similar manner, have I made character as well as a man's business the real basis for my confidence in him. Thank you, sir, and good night. This fall, you will see James Cagney in a new film released by a new studio. The picture is titled Great Guy and is being produced now at Grand National Studio. As Jimmy comes to the microphone, I know you all joined me in wishing him and Grand National all the success in the world. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. Great Guy is the tentative title of a story of a civil service employee who reforms the city government by exposing political corruption. What I like about it, chiefly, is that the lead is a grand, honest character. To me, the all-important need in pictures today is for better stories. Stories whose characters are real honest people and the same applies to the air. And it's your careful choice of stories with the Lux Radio Theatre Congratulations to you and good night. Thank you, Mr. Cagney. The Lux Radio Theatre has arranged a particularly fine program for next week. Mr. DeMille tells you about it in a moment. Assisting Mr. Cagney, Mr. Armstrong and Ms. Mallory in our cast tonight were Kenneth Thompson, Lionel Pape, Frank Rowan, Lou Merrill, Frank Nelson, James Eagles, and Ross Forrester. Mr. Cagney appeared tonight through courtesy of Grand National Studios. Mr. DeMille Paramount and Mr. Silver's musical director, 20th Century Fox. Robert Armstrong will be seen shortly in the new MGM picture, All American Chump. And here's Mr. DeMille. The talents of one of England's finest dramatists and two of Hollywood's most distinguished performers are combined next week in the Lux Radio Theatre when we bring you Sir James Barry's Quality Street starring Ruth Chatterton and Brian Ahern. This charming story has been told many times on stages the world over and in motion pictures. The story of a prim little school teacher who waited 10 years for her soldier sweetheart to come back to her. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, together with Ms. Chatterton and Mr. Ahern, join me in inviting you to be with us next Monday night in the Lux Radio Theatre presentation of Quality Street. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. The announcer has been Melville Rulick. This is the Columbia Broadcasting System.