Check it, check it, check it. It's a unique house. It's your boy, E-CEO, and I'm here with the lovely official Miss Jamaica. What's going on? Hey, man, we got a special guest today, but first of all, let me just say, man, we here, man, we over in Las Vegas. Las Vegas. Wow. Man, how did we make it here, huh? Right, man. We took a break. Oh, man, that's only God, man. Check it, man. Hey, man. Say, man, we here with Mr. Clint Sand. Mr. Clint Sand. Mr. Payback. Mr. Payback. Mr. Payback. You caught me payback for show. Man, so, man, how you doing, man? Man, I'm blessed and highly flavored, man. Man, so, hey. I didn't know where the payback come from. Mr. Payback. He must have owed somebody and paid them back. Yes. You know, from L.A., South Central, we had the racial profiling with the cops to pull you over for anything and whatever, and be just super disrespectful. Mm-hmm. Got pulled over, mistaken identity, guns drawn out, the felony takedown, the whole get-own. And then after they, we weren't the person they were looking for. We didn't respect them. We didn't care. Handcuffs. You think they all were sorry? No, you don't know how to hear that. You know what I'm saying? Mm-hmm. They said, sit on the ground. Made it sit on the curb. We on a freeway. Helicopter. We stopped traffic to hold get-own. It looked like a movie. And then he went, I was the last one in line. And then he was like, yeah, you in the gang? He asking to eat all of us, right? At the time. Like if you were in a game, you're going to say, yeah, I'm in the gang. Right. But if you saw us, you know what I'm saying? We are musicians.  You know what I'm saying? Like Princeton Revolution. Yeah, yeah.  You know what I'm saying? And so he went down the line asking you in the gang. You got a nickname. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He got to me. Mm-hmm.  You pissed on here? Yeah, I got it. I slipped up. You know what I'm saying? That's fine. You know what I'm saying? Bilingual. I go through any type of violence. You know what I'm saying? Like rickery.  Straight Outta Compton. Exactly. That's what it reminded me when they pulled them over and judging them and stuff like that. That's the era. That's the time. Oh, okay. It was 1990 when it happened to me. Oh, okay. And so he got down to me.  He said, reached for my shirt. See if I got a tattoo.  You got a nickname. So at the time, you know, my dad's a lawyer and my mom works for a city. She know all the little Congress people and mayors. Mm-hmm.  So you see you got a nickname. Wasn't he a white guy? He was a white guy, of course. Okay. It don't matter, but they have black ops, but it don't matter. Okay. And so it was the same day America's Most Wanted came out. Oh. So the first line I used to say is I heard paybacks are motherfucking niggas. Right. So I heard payback. So when he asked me, what's my nickname? I said, payback. But I mentioned like I'm going to pay you back. You know what I'm saying? Did you ever pay them back? Did you ever get them in trouble? Hell no.  No. Me and Pop, I told Pop he used to be the civil rights dude with the shotgun.  And so we went down to the police station. You got to file at least five complaints against the cop before internal affairs even looks at him. So we went down there. Had the gangster to get the complaint going. They asked the lawyer, they tried to run the game on us. Oh, who are you? Let me investigate your son. We ain't going to give you nothing. Blah, blah, blah. My dad ran the cold on him. No, on the cold. Blah, blah, blah, blah.  He realized Pop was the lawyer and he gave it to us. You feel that complaint? That was it. I never heard back. They never called me in for nothing. Nothing. I never knew that. You have to file five complaints. Five complaints. Separate complaints. Different people need to file a complaint against the cop before they leave. So it has to be five different people. So if you keep having to run in with a certain cop and it's five different occasions, that doesn't count. No, it does. He needs to have five complaints to get him peered. Whether it's me, he did it five times to me or five different people. Internal affairs says, okay, let's investigate them. Until then they run them up. That's why they do what they do. So people were like, so I got smart with the cop. He said, payback exhibition.  That's what I said to the cop. So my friends or musicians, they don't know that side of me. You know what I'm saying? And so they go, oh, payback. And it teased me. Payback, payback. And then through the hood everybody was like, hey, what's up, payback? And it kind of stuck. You know what I'm saying? So how is it like growing up in LA in that era? Because you talking about that's the era with Ice Cube and all of that. And you knew all of these people. Yeah. How was it like growing up in that era? It was vicious. Was it really like straight out of Compton? It was worse than straight out of Compton because you had the projects, Watts, Compton. Everybody would gang bang and shoot in Compton and Watts, who lives in Compton and Watts. Most of them didn't have cars. So when they started selling dope, now they got cars. Now they wouldn't come over to other parts of the city, Hollywood, Venice Beach. Probably just like, you know, that are tourist attractions.   So everywhere you went, I don't care where you went, turn into a shootout.  Terrified. Because in the movie, I remember to me the worst part in the movie was when after the police came out and all of the craziness started happening. So you were there during that time. Yeah. I mean, I ask you, who's my favorite rapper, one of the reasons is because the, when he rose what I saw, the police tripping or the dope or the gang banging or everything. And then they have riots and stuff like that? We had to, yeah, we had to ride in king rides. Toe a hole in LA. And you saw all of that? I was in there. You were trying to, I was in there. So you were really in there. But yeah, when it went down, I was watching TV the whole, the whole get down. The craziest part, I was watching the trial with Ice Cube. I was working in that time. So when the trial was on, me and watching. And then when they said, not guilty, we left the studio, we cut this session short. So now I'm going home because they're going to tear this mug up. And as soon as I got home, Reginald didn't get beat up on camera. And it was my homeboys live out from Florence Normandy. So they're telling me, they running in the stores taking stuff, maybe running in these stores, they end up police coming. And then they show the video the news did of the city is on fire. How did you meet him? How did you end up working with him? With Ice Cube. So let me go back. So it's a long story to get to Ice Cube. I think it's important because it was a valuable lesson I learned. Okay. So as a bass player, you want to have a baseline that everybody knows. You know what I'm saying? Like breakouts, boom, boom, boom, boom. Right? So I'm like, I want to do something. I ain't related to nobody. I don't know nobody in the music industry. So I'm just like, you got to deal. You got to deal. You got to do who? You know what I'm saying? Around the people wanting the money to work. Where did your music come from though? Was that your dad or somebody was also in the music? Why you ended up in the music? Oh, you just love the music. The school had a lot of musicians in it. And my mom was trying to keep me out the street because she saw where I was going. Oh, okay. So for us it was piano. And I hated it. So you weren't in sports. And then I saw I want the bass. I was in sports. Okay. But we playing in the streets too. You know what I'm saying? The park, second half park. You know what I'm saying? Thank you. It's all the homies. The second half park. I'm out of it. And getting fights and everything else. Getting fights. You know what I'm saying? A gang band. People initiating everybody. You know what I'm saying? My dad, he was a lawyer. He was getting kids out at juvenile hall. So he knew all the gang, everything. Where you go to the side, the colors, everything. She couldn't get that off of the house. But so I was dating this girl. Her dad was an entertainment attorney. So I got him in the court and pressed him. You know, I know you got somebody with a deal that you represent and that you can hook me up with. He said, don't look for the money to work. Work and the money to come. So I don't understand that. So I'm still walking up on people who got a deal, who got a deal.  So you can't get in that. They already got a bass player. You know what I'm saying? And then I finally gave up and I said, okay, I'm going to work for free and see what happens. So I told my neighbor, a dude named D.J. Donmu, he's well known in LA. And so I told him, I was like, yo, if anybody needs a bass on anything, I'll play on anything for free, you know, whatever. That's the key word, free. Free. So a couple of days later, he said, I got somebody wants you to play bass. They gave me the number, the address, all that. I went to the house. It's in the valley in LA. Nice part up in the hills. I'm like, okay, put up in the house, house and bomb. I'm like, damn, okay. This might end up with a check. But then I go in the house, they got a little eight track in the bedroom. So I just, whatever, man, I played five songs. And when I finished the five songs, somebody walked in the room behind me. So I'm sitting in the chair. There's a swivel with my bass. I can't turn around to see who it is. So they's like, oh man, play them songs. And she played one song. Who's that? It was him. He was like, are you tight? They play another song. They play all five songs. I was all him. He's like, yeah. He did that today. He said, yeah. He said, man, I just got off tour. He said tour. I said, hmm. He's like, I want to turn around and look. Wait a minute. And he said, yeah, we're starting a little group. You know what I'm saying? So you still didn't turn around and see who it was? I didn't turn around and see who it was. And he said, we're starting a group. Anything you'll play bass for us? And I'm thinking, here we go with some more free stuff. Turn around was Ron Devoe. Wow. New edition. I'm thinking BBD. How dope is that? So I was like, what? I didn't even knew exactly who it was. Yeah.  So I started, oh, looking at the plaques. And we're at his house. And the guys I was playing for were his twin brothers. Oh, so this was his house you were at. You didn't look at plaques before. I'm thinking, we were drawing.  And so now I'm playing for BBD. And how long did you play for BBD? Just like maybe a year. Okay. Six months. They had a short run. They had a new album. And they do it. Yeah. I remember that. And so, but my older brother, Jay, had a friend, Booker. You guys heard of the Booker T and MGs? Mm-hmm. They had them. We heard the song as a classic instrumental song anyway. Yeah. I know music. I don't always know. His son, Booker T Jones III was a big time engineer. He tracked and mixed Brandy's first album, whatever. He was a man. Mm-hmm. And so he saw me. He was doing the session. So he was like, I don't know. He was just good. You know what I'm saying? He said, if I paid you, back when we had pages. Mm-hmm. If I paid you.  Like I'm a little kid, right? I'm like, all right, man. Yeah. All right. All right. And he called me. Next session was Ice Cube. Wow. Mm-hmm. So I'm walking into the studio. Ain't no one who I'm about to. I'm like, all right, man. What am I doing? And I actually walk in. Huh? Already, man. Right there. He saw me playing.  So all that parliament stuff I learned at the time, they were trying to replay samples from Parliament. They weren't trying to sample it no more. They weren't people to replay it. So I knew all them songs. So they played it. Can you play this? Something in flashlight? Like I've been playing that for about 10 years, but I ain't saying nothing. I was like, yeah, let me see. Like this. And like, damn, he figured it out like two seconds. I see a hit record. I play it down for five minutes. Like, damn. So everybody was tripping. So then Cube was like, man, I want you to play, you know, whatever I'm doing. So it was Lynch mob, whatever, whatever. Me and Cube in close in age. And I knew a lot of his people, his wife's people, his cousins and everything like that. So we kept seeing, kept hanging with each other. And then the studio is that he recorded that because he was a man at the time. Everybody tried to record there. So it'd be five or six rooms. So people would see me hanging with him and be like, oh, that's Cube's bass player. And then I saw playing with Deb. And that got you a lot of other gigs. Everybody on the West Coast at the time I played bass. How long did you play for him? Uh, from 93 on to now. So you still playing with him? Yeah. That's awesome. I'm doing a theme song for his big three basketball league. Yeah. How was that transitioning over into that outside of what he's already been? Because to you it's just music, right? So you could play, you get into it. It doesn't matter what's happening. You're more into the music, right? Yeah. So it can be basketball. It can be a movie. It could be anything but to you. It's all music. It's consistent. It's all music. He just came to Dallas the other day promoting that. Sure did. Because I reached out because I wanted to get him on a broadcast. I reached out but I wasn't very successful. We're going to keep working. Cube is usually a year. Behind. Ahead. Oh. He's planning his year. Like whatever he's going to do next year on this time he's already planning it out. So it's hard to catch him. And that's what kind of I learned a lot from him. Because he's always real organized and structured. And so he plans everything out. So he's planned out for a whole year. Wow. That's good. Always a year ahead. And I hit a date. I said they got a date wrong. I said nah. Like I got to do that next year. I was like damn. You planned that ahead. I love that. I can't plan a week ahead. I forget and that show up. Me too. See I wish I could. No. I would be that person that would be just like him trying to plan. But when you have people around you who don't do the same thing it's very hard. Yeah. Yep. Don't look at me like that. What you looking at me like that. Fuck. Yeah. So I'm playing with Ice Cube. And the plan for E4. I mean anybody in on the West Coast. And then it's like getting flown to New York. And that's our plan for Easy Mo Beaks brother LG. So it was like Illinois Scratch.  That they would fly me out because I'm Cubes. Quote unquote. But that's how I realized in this industry when you get to work with a notarite, a very popular person. It's a case where they label you because I was somebody else was telling me about Janet Jackson piano player. And I'm like that's how they know the person. Right. Not by their names. This isn't such player. This isn't such. And that's what helps them to get their gigs. Heck yeah. You know. I gave him and didn't charge him. I gave him all the rights to the big three theme song. Just to say thank you for my association with him. Bless me from nine to three on that. Wow. You know what I'm saying? That's big. The fact that you would be able to do that. You know a lot of people get to going and they feel like it's themselves who made it happen. So that's big. That's big character. But you know I definitely get it. Because when people help us or have helped us back he's a whatever. It's always love. It's always love man. Yeah. And he's never changed who he is. Same dude. Let's play some bones. Nigga was had it. No Hollywood. He's the same dude. He's the same. He's the same. He's never. He's even dressed the same. T-shirt, jeans, t-shirts. Yeah. I've seen that. You know what I'm saying? Because one thing it says a lot about you. To me it seems more like a brotherhood between you and him because for the main fact you've been working with him for such a long time. You know what I mean? Because it's hard to find people that you can you know really get along with. And they know exactly what you want.  You know what I mean? Because this business you can find a lot of people who get big headed. Oh yeah. I got some people I really want to put on glass right now. God right now. Let me ask you this. So playing or producing the song on Soul Plane that Jen and Juice, how did that transpire? You know like how did you guys, how did they, how did you come into that? Again work, do the work and the money had come. The music supervisor she's passed, Clara McCory was an intern doing something. I played bass on Blank Man with Damian Wands. And so she ended up trying to go into music supervisor and she was working on the movie and she needed some music but she didn't have a budget yet so I worked with her. And so she remembered that. And so they had a meeting for Soul Plane to get Jen and Juice instrumental from Death Row. Death Row waited forever to give a response yes or no or price. When he came back with the price he was way too much. So she knows I know how to do that kind of music whatever. She called me before. I need something that sounds like such and such but she needed the exact copy and she knew I can do it. So she called me before she called anybody. Wow. I did it right on the spot. You know emailed it to her the next thing in the morning she checked it and they placed it in the director and said you know give it a green light. Wow. You have an air for stuff. You know what being accountable and punctual goes a long way. Wow. They know they can count. If I say I don't do it, I won't do it. If I say I can't do it but then I realize I can't I won't say that too.  What is your weakness? We're the business concern. Whoa. It's exposing. The weakness. Yes your weakness. Everybody has a flaw. Everybody has a weakness. You have a strength and you have your weakness. What is your weakness? Where do you know that your strength is your accountable? Yeah. I had my weakness was trusting. Wow. And I got into it. It was an act that I was there in Inglewood. If you hear what I'm talking about without saying his name. In Inglewood when he was with a group. I was working with the group, grew up around the dudes. Everything. Then he started working with Ice Cube. I'm working with Ice Cube. So I'm with him every day. Ice Cube just interviewed me and him in the back. Sitting around talking to him. Wow. Right. And so then he did a single. I did a single. I played bass all over it. Right. Ho album. And then he got kind of big. Then he started signing groups from Inglewood. So he used to have me produce them and stuff like that. He's cutting me checks. But then I did a song for his album. And he forgot to pay that one. Wow. Then he was playing games. Call me tomorrow. Call me tomorrow. Page me this time. I know who it is. Just by your expression. He kept doing it. He kept doing it. He kept doing it. And I was like, hey, homie, you know what I'm saying? So then it got real bad. Then the album came out. And he ain't knowing that. He got people that want to take him out. Wow. And they're getting that media that know him.  I thought about it. So I'm sitting there contemplating it. I mean my manager's office is a white guy. Evan Forester. But he knows everybody. Evan does. So I'm sitting there contemplating. He said, but what you doing? And he knows the people that are after Mac 10. He knows the serious people. He ain't going to say their name. She goes to them when he has a problem. Oh, wow. So that dude got at me. And I'm like, I was thinking, oh, I can use that money. Maybe they don't know. He's what I was thinking about. But I'm sweating. I'm like, like this, man. He's like, what's going on? So, man, I got a decision I got to make, man. And I told him the situation. He said, no, man. That's not how you do it, dawg. You're grown.  Duh, duh, duh, duh. He said, this is how you do it. He called priority records. He knew the president. Called him. He said, hey, you got a song out there without a contract or a check. Wow. Win them out, whatever. And we can do a cease and assist right now. Exactly. Let's make it paid. And so he called the artist. The artist said, I'll be there in a half an hour with the check. They faxed the contract. He told me to be up there in a half an hour to have everything. I showed up, signed my checks on the contract and got a bottle there. Shout out to him. Shout out to him. My dad's an attorney. Of course. And so I know that accomplices do jail time, too. Right. They be like, how did you find his house? You know what I'm saying? He told me, boom. There I go. You know what I'm saying? I get locked up, too. So I avoided it. I mean, there's a lot of street stuff out there. So, man. I can imagine, especially when you're raised around that. It's so easy to just get that done. But you just think, we cool. Man, you cool. We ain't never done that. We cool. Man, you cool. We hang out. I see you about a month or two. I will work with this show. You blow up all that. Yeah. Payback. I need a theme song for my show. All right. Cool. Cool. I'm usually got to do like a dope deal with the money. You know what I'm saying? I'll shoot the money. Okay. Here's the track. Switch. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? I pay tomorrow. I pay tomorrow. And then I don't hear from you. And then you playing games on the phone. Call me one o'clock. And then you don't answer. Call me tomorrow. I'll be there in a few minutes. You know what I'm saying?  You know what I'm saying? So that was a learning lesson that I just... Everybody. I do business. I care about my mama and my brother. Anybody. You know what I'm saying? You want to do something? All right. Here's the contract. The contract and the check. All right. I move. I don't care who you are. So when you said that, you kind of gave away who it was. What was this during the time when they were all working together? For as... Yeah. So I figured that much, you know, because I remember that era. That was a good era, man. Me and him made up, we cool right now, you know what I'm saying? So I didn't want to put his name up like that. Otherwise I put his name up. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's love. That's good, but you don't do any work with him anymore. Yeah, you will. In direct, yeah, yeah. We talk about doing some stuff. Yeah. Okay, but you're just gonna make sure to contract everything signed first. Oh yeah, I ain't, I don't play with nobody. I don't care. No, he really helped you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it was a learning lesson. That's what I'm saying. It just helps us, because if I had problems, as people I can go to, like the guy who wanted to get at, you know what I'm saying? And I can get stuff done. But I, you know what I'm saying? I said, yeah, let me just go corporate. And I got a, my lawyer is a beast, so. Yeah, yeah. I'm cool with that. That's good.  He's probably about 15 years old, trying to figure out how to get out there. How would you advise him to move? What should he do? First, gonna be good at what you do, because I gets down. But when you just started, did you know you got down? Or it took time to learn it? What? Hell yeah. I mean, by this time I was playing for eight years, but I was playing at jam sessions at clubs. So it's kind of like your battle. It's like a freestyle. You're going to a freestyle club, ballin' everybody, like Eminem or something like that. We're the base? That's really? Everybody from, yeah, that, that, that, that. I didn't know that y'all had battles like that.  All right, next, you, hey, payback's here. Man, come, hey, payback about to get down. Now if you ain't, if you whack, you know what I'm saying?   So I, I, like the dudes I was playing for, I'm like them. I'm like an ice cube. I'm like a doctor's ray.  Pink shirts, you know what I'm saying? Like I'm wearing khakis just like they wearing. I look just like one of them walking in. What's happening? I was from the red team. What's happening? Black, you know what I'm saying? It was crazy. And I, but I was just like them. So it made it. Easy. Relatable for me to, to even hang with them, let alone, you know, play base. So then I listened to what they listened to. So what they're expecting me to play is what I, what I expect to play. So we're on the same page and I like describing something. And I'm like, no, I'm just reading music. I don't know. Parliament, who's that? You know what I mean? Like, I know you named a song. Oh yeah. But you didn't know as a kid that that's who you wanted to play for. No. It just happened. It, it just happened. I didn't target anybody. I just wanted to play on something. So advising the kid because what you're just saying is almost like they need to like focus on somebody and, you know, study them and be like, okay, set your goal really and say, this is who I want to play for and make it happen. I would say whatever genre of music you're going for, like I was going for R&B, rap, whatever, learn that music well and also work first and let the money come. Work for free. Work, play on everything you can play on because it'll lead to something. Wow. I don't care who it was. I was in a bedroom.  Like the cheapest thing you can buy to record on something and let me to BBD. Being a native from Los Angeles. Yeah, Los Angeles. And being that native and then coming to Vegas and living, how big was that?  What are you doing? I mean. Man, let that alone, man. I'm P.O. listening to nothing. Nah. So I had a doing music, I started producing music, I started licensing stuff like Gin and Juice. Every little black movie I got a song in. Wow. John's Family Vacation. Yep, yep, yep. I'm a big fan, whatever. That's dope, man. So I also wanted to get into movies. Okay. And so I felt like I have to I know a lot of people in Hollywood with different, you know, different backgrounds, you know what I'm saying? And so they were telling me that if I look, find and something, avoid in something, is in and exploit it. And so the Fast and Furious was like the street racing, but they exploited it. You know what I'm saying? And people didn't really know about it with the mainstream like that. And so I'm giving up something, but I don't care right about them. Blacks, brothers, brothers riding Harleys. There's no TV show. There's no movie. There's no nothing close. We came to was Biker Boys, but I was I loved it. Right. But I went in the 30s, right? Yeah, yeah, right. Which I like. Yeah, I like Harleys. I like Harleys. They're called Crotch Rockets. Yeah, we just call it bikes in Jamaica. They're like death, death traps. Harleys, you're like a Cadillac. That's right. That's right. Sportbikes you in between car poppies, hitting corners and dipping in those. I got a scarf from here to here from a sport bike. Wow. I got a Ducati, but I still, you know what I'm saying? I like Harleys. Well, I feel safer. You're tempted. Oh, I can do 160. I'm going to 50. Like how many people actually wreck off a Harley? Not many. They do, but it's very rare.  Sportbikes, you get tempted with the speed and you go in between cars. And then, oh, I did the such and such and 180, I flew past. You get caught up in all that. I remember one time back home in Jamaica, right? In Jamaica, you have rocks everywhere, right? And we driving down the street and this guy overtook us. But in Jamaica, they'll overtake you anywhere. So he overtook here and then went on a soft shoulder, which rocks were there, hit a rock and a bike and him went like that. Oh, you're crashing a heartbeat. If you hang around bike clubs, watched all the members, you'll see one missing the next meeting. We were such as that off, man.  You'll see. So I see the group smaller and smaller and smaller. Let me ask you this part because I got to ask you this. What? Top three artists of all time, dead or alive. Top three of all time? Of all time, dead or alive. Dead or alive? Injure. Injure. Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson, we get that. All the time. He killing the game. We had a guy that started as a kid. Yeah, but people say that Chris Brown better than him. Shout out to Trig Daddy. Hold on, not people. A person said. Trig Daddy, L.D. 300. They said Chris Brown came from Mike, so it's kind of. I know that. But Brown type. I'll give it to Chris Brown. He can dance, he can sing. He's probably one of the tightest dudes today. He used to Michael Jackson today. But if you put Michael Jackson and him on the same stage at their heyday, I don't think so, man. So who's your number two? I love Chris Brown, though. Me too. Prince. Of course. The only reason I say Mike before Prince they're kind of neck and neck. It's because Mike, but starting, he was a kid. Mike came number one, I was Prince. Right, but Prince plays all the instruments. He's, to me, is way more talented, but Mike's voice was so unique that it just took him to, whenever, he'd be under me. And number three? Number three, all time. That's hard, because then I'm thinking about rappers. The most influential that changed my life. Are you serious, bro? It's like, I'm looking for him to say that name.   No, no, let him say it. All right, all right. Is that thing about Luther or something? No, no, no. No. Palabelle. That's your number three? I could say Palabelle. No, who's your number three? I cannot believe this. No, hold on, hold on. He's gonna say Teddy Pinnagrand. No. Who's your number three? I want him to say, don't say anything. I know what you're thinking, but who's your number three? I ain't gonna say what y'all thinking. Okay, so who's your number three? Number three. I ain't gonna say Beyonce. Y'all looking at me crazy. Nobody, nobody young, nobody young. They gotta be, I don't know, I like, I'll say Palabelle, because I got to throw a woman in the mix. Palabelle. Palabelle. Palabelle. She killed it. You know who he's thinking? What, Ice Cube? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I was gonna go there, with Chuck D, then Ice Cube. Chuck D, dress on, because people say I look like him and I always go in his P hat, so did he for Public Enemy, but I'm gonna work my way for Payback. The Pittsburgh Pirate hat. But I wore the McDyne too. And then older brothers would hit me up. Hey, you know we invented history. You know we invented, you know what I'm saying? There was always some jewel they dropped on me. Yeah. And so that kind of got me out of wanting to hurt other blacks and educate them and love them and realize that we need to stop all that. Because right now I say cuss, blood, I don't care who I'm, ain't, well, all right cuss. Oh, you still doing it? You still talking about it? No, no, no. I might be talking to somebody who's a crypt that's grown, right, but I'll say cuss. People who are bloods, for some reason, they take that to their death.  You say cuss to a whole blood dude, 50, 60 years old, he be like, what you say to me? Bro, are you serious? Oh my God, so I'm gonna go. How old are you? I'm 52, man. Do you believe that? Okay, so that's a good subject. I like that. I want to talk about it. I was a kid, man. So you're 52. 52, man.  And you still talk to them? And get mad at me if I say cuss. What you saying? Because you grew up with them. Yeah, well, did you say they bloods? But when? Okay, cuss. If I talk to Crips, if I talk to OG Crips, who really is still into all that, and I say, all right, blood, they blood what? But when we go down to LA, right?  It's not like that anymore. No, blood, let me tell you, when in the 80s, during the Straight Outta Compton era, the late 80s, 90s, then it'd be 30 Crips from Nickerson's or something, like Projects and Watts will come to Westwood. That's like the West Side. UCLA is in Westwood.  It was off the chain, man. And so... I don't get it, man. I think everything in every season, and when you're... It ain't the same. It ain't the same, but they still doing it. Dude, we are older. And not only we're older, we have the next generation to think about when, because we are wiser. They trying to get them up into the game.  15. I get it. I could believe that. 15's the ones that initiate, and gotta shoot somebody, and shoot whatever. He all about the... That's the hardest motherfucker at 15. So around 17 pops. I used to, you know what I'm saying? Partake, you know what I'm saying?  But I couldn't do that crap.  And I go to school and change clothes, right?  One day I was tired, came home, forgot to change. Fell asleep on the couch. And pops came home. Like I said, he represent kids. He didn't tore your tail up. What?  He picked me up and threw me against the wall, fired from here to that wall about five, 10 feet. And I hit the wall right in the middle of the wall. I didn't fall to the ground. I hit the middle of the wall. Like in the movies. In like the movies. Like it was CGI or something.  He said, are you going to fight me or are you going to fight them? What you going to do? I'm thinking, hey, none of them throw me five feet in the air like that. They ain't free me off the ground. I'll fight all of them. So I went back to school and was like, man, I can't do this no more. And then he told me. I didn't let you out? I was down to fight. Did you fight? No, I didn't fight to get out.  So after he threw me on the ground, I'm crying and everything.  And it worked for me to mentally get out of it. And whoever I talked to, it worked for them too. Wow. What is that? So he told me Bloods and Crips were like the Black Panthers. I don't know if this is true or not, right? He said, the Crips stand for community of resourceful, independent people. And the Bloods were black leaders of our own destiny. And that we were like the Black Panthers. We provide jobs and protection from police and food if you need it and shelter, whatever, you know. And I was like, what? So yeah, we all used to stick together. He said, y'all got infiltrated by a Jaguar Hoover.  And y'all went to jail.  So they started fighting. Oh, you snatched on that. So what are they fighting? And so they said, okay. The people that we bust from the Blood, whatever that is Blood, put them in red jumpsuits and then the Crips put them in blue jumpsuits. So you wear bandanas and all of which your color is on. So when you get out of jail, you got Crips. Like you got 18 streets of Crips, rolling twins where I was from, it's Bloods, rolling 30 Crips, 40 Hustlers, five dudes brand, that's Bloods, 60 Crips. So it's just, if you look at a street in the map, it's not like a whole group of Crips here and Bloods there, they're like every couple of blocks is a different site. And he said, that's why you got different sets because they got out of jail and that's where they lived.  So now you're mad, so now you're wanna beat up people and then turn the escalator to shooting. So now the Crips and Bloods are at each other. That's so crazy because division, that's just really what I've seen, is that if you put, you see Blacks fighting against Blacks right now. You know what I mean? And we always ask, how can we bring our communities together? Why are we fighting against each other? Even some of these OG Crips or Bloods or whatever. Yeah, you have a lot of these because it's everywhere, it's not only in LA. That's spread all over the world right now. And the most active people in these organizations are the kids. And those are the ones who are getting killed. You know what I mean? The older ones are sitting back chilling because they did their time and they're like, yeah, you know, whatever. No, they got little dudes that run and do whatever crime the OG won't do. Right.  Let me ask this a bit. When I lived in Vegas, that was banging out here as well. Mm-hmm, let me say that. So it still goes down, right? I got gang banged on in New York. Wow. Really? And they don't even know how gang bang was a 20 of L. That's crazy. You know what I'm saying? I think it was a rapper in New York, his little people were Bloods. And their thing is, do you drink milk? And depending on that answer, you're either a Cripper or Blood. Really? So reveal that to me, because I know nothing about that. So in LA, you say, what's that you from? And you say, they get this 30-something Crip Cups, you know what I'm saying? Or, you know, BPS Blackstone Bloods, whatever, right? You say you're set. So being funny, they flew me out there. How did milk come into this? I don't know, I have no idea. So look, they flew me out there to play bass and I'm from South Central, blah, blah, blah.  They expecting me, oh, he's from South Central. And I think one of them asked me, Nori asked me, what are you gonna get? I said, yeah, kind of, this is the Bloods. So I guess he told his boys, oh, we got an OG Blood from West Coast coming out of here. So I get to the studio and it's about 20, 30 kids, 16, 17, whatever, you know what I'm saying? I think I'm late 20s. Okay. Maybe 30. So I'm sitting in there chilling and it's the one of them walks up on me all red rag, hat sideways, the whole gang banged out. Kind of, sorry, but he gotta be 15, 17, whatever, right? He walks up on me, he's like, what's happening, homie? I was like, what's up?  He said, do you drink milk? Well, serious as a motherfucker, do you drink milk? I was like, I looked around like, is he joking? Yeah, with my cereal? He said, no, homie, do you drink milk? You know, he bawled up like he bought the firearm. He set up and everything. I said, what is your doing?  Now I'm a blood, homie. Are you trying to gang bang? I was like, what you trying to do? That's a laugh at me, isn't it?  That's what you're doing to me? I said, no, nigga, this is what you do, homie. You have to set you from, nigga. Then you say the wrong thing and you bomb on him.   Y'all got it wrong. Y'all need to read the gang bang. You know what, you know what I'm saying? It's black and yellow, how to gang bang for days. Out of your community streams all of these people from L.A. calls the whole world to be crypts and bloods. In every neighborhood, no, Texas, it's everywhere. Like Louisiana, Shreveport, it's any, when you go up to St. Louis, it's everywhere. Y'all really permeated the world with that. And I say, y'all, because you guys neighborhoods, these guys don't even rep the neighborhood. They just rep the color. It was about a neighborhood as you spoke, but down there, they was doing it wrong.  You know what, I realized that it was, it's like the bringing it to the music was super bad. Because remember Dolores Tucker, everybody was like smashing CDs back in the mid 90s. Yeah, yeah. It was terrible in the end. It was like, oh, we just trying to, yeah, we just trying to, you know, represent our neighborhood. That's what we see, change what we see. We'll rap about something different.  They had the Raider hats on and the big black jacket and the Swatmeat, chat khakis and t-shirt and the all white, I forgot the tennis shoes they wear, but looking like NWA. Like you from Cali? Yeah, you know what company is? I'm like, yeah, do we, how do we look?  Halloween or something? She said, no, no, we try to be, we try to be gangsters.    I'm like, are we wearing the right, dude? You know what I'm saying? Like, I said, damn, so you got them on that. Wow. Wow. I was like, oh, that's what they're talking about. We're influenced in place to it. They have no idea about gangs or being hard or what to look like or even talk like. And now they're watching these videos and wanting to be like them. But I got to do some research to see if what your dad said was true. Because if that's the case, that right there is what all of the Bloods and Crips supposed to be passing on to all the different generations. I speak on what I can. So let them know really where it came from because people are repping something that they don't know nothing about, really, if that's the case. Yeah, because some OGs tell me that Bloods came from Chicago. The Black Disciples started the Bloods, blah, blah, blah, but you know. Yeah, all these different things. Because somebody did a documentary in Dallas not too long ago talking about Bloods and Crips and where it started. And it came to Fort Worth and all of that stuff. And yeah, because a lot of the killing and all of that sort of stuff. So they did a documentary on that. But what I, you have on, is that Lokes? You have one? Yeah, I got on Lokes. That's also a thing of California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know what I'm saying. What's that about? But this, I'm wearing these as a favorite to one of my friends. I always promote black stuff. So I got my brother's stuff that's positive. Positive, hey, positive wear, I stopped playing. Yeah, I love positive wear. And so, this guy named Percy worked side by side with Snoop Dogg. Wow. So I don't know if you can, I don't know what sign it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I see it. You can pause or whatever. Yeah, I see the pause. So this is their brand of sunglasses. Wow, so you always give it back. I'm always promoting. You always give it back. So what's gonna do it? Who else gonna do it? So it's not me. So is that Lokes or is that his brand? So these are, these are his brand. Of Lokes, yeah. Okay. Yeah, but the style is Lokes. The style is Lokes. Right, oh, check it, man. Check it, man. Yeah, it's just a little bit different. But one, I do wanna touch on something before we get off is, oh, sorry. You were telling me earlier about the movement to help bring awareness to diabetes. Tell me about that. In 2005, I had built a studio in my backyard and people would just like brothers would come hang out every day before they went doing whatever. We were all complaining about the same things, but I was the only one that had health insurance. Wow. Because a lot of people who were seven-employed don't have health insurance. It costs like $700 a month.  And I go get a physical. So I got a physical, finally I had diabetes. Wow. And so I told seven brothers to come complain about the same something. I said, those are diabetic symptoms.  And then you drink like crazy.  And then you drink like crazy, right? And so it was like. So it wasn't a weight gain. It wasn't the light headed. It wasn't any of them. It was a weight gain. I gained 50 pounds, but slowly by gaining 50 pounds. But all those things lead to, but the symptoms that we were all talking about. So I said, I told them, y'all need to be checked out. If y'all got diabetes, man, you're probably gonna, you know, have a diabetic coma. Right. Let me tell you the story when I found out. So I went on a Friday to get a physical, the doctor, the doctor said, oh, well, let you know in two weeks what it's gonna be. The doctor went in on Sunday for some whatever reason and found out my sugar was like five, six hundred. Wow. That's crazy. I didn't know what that meant. I'm making it to all diabetes, right? At that time. So he called me, I was at Kennington Park for my LA folks at a barbecue. He took me about an hour and a half to park on a Sunday. So I just parked smelling the barbecue. I'm looking at the barbecue pit and walking toward it and the doctor called. He's like, look, where you at? I'm like, what's this? This doctor said, what do you have right now? I said, man, I'm at the barbecue, let me call you back. He was like, no. I said, man, why not? He said, because you're gonna have a diabetic coma. What? I heard it was a coma. What? He said, yeah, but I just checked your results. You know, I don't come into the weekend. Go to, what's the nearest pharmacy? It was one on Slawson and over here, though. Go to him right now. My wife was with me and she's walking to the place. I'm here to go. She was like, look, like, why? Like, I was like, I'm about to have a diabetic coma. We house in my car like the Dukes of Hazard. She's just across the hood, we took place out.  Yeah, so I told her, I said, man, I'm gonna have a diabetic coma. So all seven went to get checked out for diabetes. Six of them came back and they were diabetic. And they went and went to the hospital period or a doctor there if I wouldn't have said nothing, right? So I felt like I helped save them, you know what I'm saying? And so- But let me- Let me touch you one second on that. How much is having too much sugar in your diet growing up have to do with diabetes? If you're not working out, that's one. You're eating, we eat a lot of sugar that we don't know. We eat Kool-Aid, it's got a cup of sugar in it. We eat macaroni and cheese. The noodles turn into sugar. We eat spaghetti. Anything white turns into sugar. Yeah, we eat birds. All day long. Lies, everything. Hot dogs, all that sugar, right? Then we eat mad candy. Grandma'll give you candy growing up.  It's sugar diet, that's all we eat in sugar, you know what I'm saying? So you don't work out, after a while it's like beating your body up. And you put sugar in the water, it turns into syrup, right? So your blood's supposed to be real thin, thin in the water for your heart to hit bone and then blood to go all the way down to your feet, come back up.  Now all your organs get strained, now you're tired. Now you don't wanna work out, now you're getting fat. Now you're sleepy all the time. And then, you know, your body's looking for nutrients and looking for something.  You gotta drink it again, cause you're thirsty again. So all these symptoms, right? And so I got diabetes, most diabetics after a while you get fatigued cause you're surrounded by non-diabetics or people who have bad eating habits, unhealthy eating habits. So if I go to dinner with a nice young lady, you know what I'm saying? She might order cheesecake for dessert. I ain't supposed to have it, but you know what I'm saying? It looks all good. They put two spoons on the plates, it's all good. You can get your sugar-free ones. Yeah, but you with people who are not diabetic or don't know the diabetic, they're not getting the sugar-free one, okay? So that kind of environment, then the cigars came out. So I'm smoking and drinking that, really tripping. What does that have to do with diabetes though? It kills you. The smoking clogs your blood, you know what I'm saying? It's not your organs are struggling, not your heart's struggling. That's how you have strokes and heart attacks and all that stuff, right? It affects your eyes. Your eyes have blood supposed to float through them. They get swallowed up and clogged up. Yeah, I cycle bad. It's nothing with diabetes, you know what I'm saying? And so last year, when my mom died in 2018, I was stressed out behind her. We didn't take care of myself. And trying to cope with the stress of her dying, I'm drinking and smoking and partying and working late and not getting no rest, not doing nothing, doing the opposite of what I'm supposed to be doing. So now I'm getting out the results of that bad diet and the bad habits. So last year, I had got an infection. Like when your diabetes is bad, your feet are numb. So you can step on a nail or get bit by a spider and I know it. So you stepped on something? Had an infection. Shit went out of control. So I got two of my toes amputated. Why amputated? At the same time, now I'm going to our doctors to get all fully checked out. I had veins growing crazy about the Christ my retina. They came later because they might hit your resume.  That's why people diabetic go blind. Yeah. The ice they get bad. And then I started having heart problems. I started feigning. Wow. I walked from the elevators here. I'm out of feigning. By the time I got to that door. Wow. Because my dad had diabetes and he ended up having a quadruple bypass after years. Because the doctor would always tell him, you got to walk, you got to walk, you got to take some weight off. And he did. And even after the quadruple bypass, he probably lasted about four more years. And eventually, you know, yeah. But see, that's what I'm doing right now. There's a website called www.checkyourrisk.org. There are eight questions that you answer. You hide, you wait, you don't have to put your name and email address, none of that stuff.  And the eight questions you answer and then evaluate if you're at risk for diabetes and then go get checked out. And the resources there can have insurance.  Yeah, if you're pre-diabetic, yes. If you're pre, you're almost there.  Number two is a lifestyle, but you can be pre-diabetic is almost being type two. Right? But if you're type two. Type one and you're born like that. Type two is lifestyle. So type two, you can't just work out and eat right and get off the medicine. If you're pre-diabetic, if you're almost fully diabetic, you can reverse it. That's why I'm trying to get everybody to go get checked out now, you know what I'm saying? Cause brothers, we don't go to the hospital, unless we have to, we don't go for checkups and you know, whatever, like we're supposed to. Even when we have diabetes, we go, when I found out, cause I was doing it too, I'll go to the doctor just to extend my medicine prescription. I wouldn't go get the full blood work, check out my feet, my eyes, blah, blah, blah.  Okay, we did write a prescription here and you go fill it. You got another six months, but you're not getting checked out. So your feet can be getting numb, your eyes can be going bad, your heart can be going bad. You're not getting that checked out. So the campaign right now, I'm getting a lot of friends and family and stuff, just saying check your wrist and go get checked out. You need to get checked out on your own or if you're too lazy to do that, you don't know cause a lot of times we don't know, or we know something's wrong, but we don't know what it is and we won't get it checked out until we have to.   Like I have friends die and they sleep. Wow. Man, we're pretty sure. 45 years old.  Yeah, I'm done. Okay. We'll appreciate you, man, hanging out with us, man. Man, you got cool, man, you got cool. Hey man, anytime we come to Vegas, we're coming back in six months, we're doing another interview. Check it, man. We're gonna be right here. I might ask some more to talk about. Hey, man. I'm active out here, man. It's about to be my city. Say, man, we love you, man. We thank you for coming on the show, man. Hey, man, it was a pleasure, my pleasure. Man, it's been another great segment of Boss Talk 101. Boss.


Good morning guys, it's 8 a.m. I am dressed to go on a run. I was hoping to go earlier this morning, but that didn't happen, I'm actually just gonna get some work done. I have a FaceTime therapy session at 9, so it's 8 now, gonna make breakfast, do some work, send in a video, do the therapy session, and then go on a run, and then get my work day started. Today is a pretty productive day, it's actually pretty exciting. I'll talk about this a lot more later, but I have an anti-racist workshop for my management company. It's been like, we have to do two a year now I think, which is really cool. So anyways, we'll talk about that later. We're taking fits to meet my mom, my stepdad tonight. It's gonna be a good day. I've been loving vlogging lately.  So anyways, gonna head downstairs. So a nice out today, nice and gloomy, which is why I couldn't get up at 6, because you lay them out at gloomy in the morning, so it's literally the law. Might even have the store open. The absolute best yogurt, literally ever. Also, best granola ever. Wait, okay, I have a question. What, if you guys get this, what flavors do you guys get? Because I've been seeing, like, I think about people on the screen, salty one or something like that, that's really popular. Beautiful, beautiful. Also, this is a very niche group of people, but anyone who's gotten their hardwood floors redone in Dallas, give me a go to Rex, because I want to get hardwood all upstairs, especially now with the puppy. I probably can't, like, I shouldn't be sending money like that for a while, but I just want to know, like, how much you guys think it will be, what I should do, where I should go, if you guys have good recommendations, and then just because I'll be getting that down there, it'll probably have to be, like, restained or something. But, yeah, that is the plan, and I also don't know what color I want. Like, I had light gray in my LA house, but I don't know, I kind of like, I don't know, I used to think I would hate this, but I just don't know what I want, so. Also, kind of the fact that, like, I just totally forgot I was even going to ever read you that backsplash, just totally forgot, honestly, and I like the counters, so like, I won't read you those, but I still need to get handles on the cabinets, which my brother-in-law can do for me, so I actually just need to hire, not hire, need to order the handles, and then that will be done, and that will look so much better, because my mom told me that this should happen, but, you know, my mom's are always right, she's like, you need to get handles because you'll start chipping, and like, this is the one that we use the most, and of course, it started chipping. Terrible is getting in trouble yet again, guys. Anyways, I'm exporting a vlog that I need to send in, it's 8.58, I have therapy in two minutes, but it's on FaceTime today, so I need to go out to my office and my phone on the phone charger, I actually made coffee that I'm going to drink, amazing, love this, and then after I'm gonna go to run, so I need to finish this now, because I don't want to drink it right before. Also, I never put milk in it, so it's just the whole experience, it's weird right now. So Coco's downstairs, and she has this new toy I'll show you guys later, my dad showed it to me, and like, literally, these dogs are obsessed, you can't, she's not even gonna let me show you. Coco, can you show them the toy? There, you guys can kind of see it, okay, well, whatever. Anyways, she's obsessed with it, and my dad's dogs are as well, so I'll have it linked down below in case I need you guys, her dog parents. All right, guys, just finished therapy, it was so great, I'm about to head to my dad's, I want to go run on the treadmill. I'm honestly running outside, I feel like it's just harder. So I want to go on the treadmill today, because today is, I think, a hard run. I don't know, I haven't really, I've been a little bit off my game the past week just because my friend was in town, so I missed, actually I only missed one run, not that I think about it, but I'm going out of town on Wednesday. So I'm gonna run today and tomorrow, and figure it out from there. I'm about to listen to this podcast, Monique is doing the anti-racist training today, and she gave us some podcast to listen to. So, anyways, I'll give you guys an update, I'm really, really excited for this. Basically, my management company requires us now to have anti-racist training twice a year, so I'm really excited, I think that's like the best thing ever. Anyways, gonna listen to this, head to my dad's and go run. All right, guys, I'm back. Like, I want to get a treadmill for my garage. I wish that I had a three car garage now, but I feel like it will just be so crammed, and I kind of like the drive, the separation, you know what I mean? Guys, the actual golf cart looks so funny to me. It looks like a carriage. Like, why does it look funny to me? Maybe it isn't funny, it just looks like a carriage to me, I don't know. All right, guys, I just finished. I am gross, it's 35 minutes. Ooh, the lighting, um, Harley came to join me. Girl, is that me? Hi. This is our labradoodle, my dad's, which is like my puppy growing up. I love you so much, you're gonna meet Fitz. And then we also have another golden doodle, but he doesn't have the curly hair. He has like a really weird coat, but when Harley's hair grows out, she's like the labradoodle of the year. Best dog ever. She seriously was the easiest dog to train and just the best dog, and I love her. All right, guys, she's showered, did my makeup, got ready. I didn't Instagram live during my makeup, so if you guys want to see that, it's on my IGTV, full, get ready with me. I've kind of changed up products that I've been using recently, and actually been doing a little bit more makeup than normal. I'm wearing my favorite girlfriend denim jeans, and then this long sleeve top from Princess Polly. It's originally the Rager Priest though. And then just my normal jewelry. All right, guys, it's noon. I'm eating some lunch. I made salmon, vegetables, soup potatoes. I'm gonna get some editing done. I have a big to-do list today, so I'm gonna get as much done as ever. This is gonna be like a power two hours, basically. The other day in a vlog, I asked you guys when I was going into Halcyon, I showed you guys Val's because it's just like next door on Greenville Avenue. So many of you guys said Val's is so good, and I love cheesecake. And then to make matters even better, it's a block on business. So if any of you guys are in Dallas, you guys need to go. I really, really want to go. Maybe I can talk Q or Sav into going today, because it just looks so good. I'm so excited. All right, guys, so it is almost 3 p.m. It's 2.59. I'm on my Zoom call. Obviously, the workshop is on Zoom, but it's really cool. It's an anti, oh, gotta go. All four farms are petulating white supremacy. So it can look like where it happens. That's saying, make America great again. It can look like having the Confederate flag outside of your place of employment or your home. It can look like not believing the experiences of people of color. This is why when people of color say something is racist, it's racist. It's not open for debate. It's not open for negotiation. Our land experiences are not an intellectual endeavor for you.  I'm the one who gets to decide that, not the white person, not the one who's in the position of power. And there are multiple ways. There are multiple ways. These are just some examples. So I encourage you to look up to find us and to do some time, take some time and looking into that. Even celebrating the Fourth of July, as you get ready to go into the Fourth of July this weekend, understand that the Fourth of July is a holiday that many black people do not see as a holiday in a time of celebration because understand that when the Declaration of Independence was signed, there was literally a black person who was enslaved in the room at the time it was being signed. Thomas Jefferson when he was signing that, drafting that. Also understand that for nearly a hundred more years, black people are still enslaved in this country during the time where white folks were celebrating independence. So to watch, to see so many white people celebrate the Fourth of July for a lot of black people, it feels like another way in which you are weaponizing your whiteness and reinforcing white supremacy and erasing the pain and ignoring the pain of black people that specifically black people, but as well as people of color, indigenous folks as well. Also remember, we just came off celebrating Juneteenth. How many of you did not acknowledge Juneteenth, but are so excited and ready to promote the Fourth of July and celebrate? Finished the workshop. It was about an hour and a half. It was really incredible. First off, I just want to say I feel like, I mean I haven't heard of any management companies doing this so I'm really grateful to be a part of my management company. So like I mentioned before, we now have anti-racism workshops that we're doing, which is really cool. We did it. I'll show you it with me. It's Monique Melton. She's a podcast shine writer together.  But anyways, I listened to three of her podcasts earlier, really helpful, and she also does workshops and stuff. I think it's really important, obviously there's a lot of free content out there to learn about this stuff, but I think it's really important to actually sign up for workshops and buy the books and kind of just invest financially where you can, even if it's like a donation or whatever, because it's like such taxing work. Also it's their job, so don't just take advantage of like all the free resources. Anyways, my management company has made a requirement that we do anti-racism workshops. We have to complete two a year, and like if I would have missed this one, I would have had to make it up within the next month, and like paid for it on my own and all that stuff, which I didn't miss it, but obviously like always sounds to do more classes. It was really awesome. So I'll have her, specifically Monique, linked down below. She was really great. I love the workshop, but I really encourage any of you guys, especially if you guys are like an influencer management company of any sort. That's watching this, or if you guys are influencers, I would definitely recommend sharing it with your team, because I think it's really important. Like my manager was on it, all of the team was on it actually. There was like 50 of us total. So anyways, that was really incredible. It was just, yeah, it was really good. So I'll link her down below. I would definitely recommend. I am about to go film a few things. It's 4.37. I want to be, I wanted to leave my mom's by 5, but that's just not going to happen. I think we're going to leave around 6. So I'm going to go curl my hair really quick, like literally do five minute curls, and then film an IGTV video for bookrex, and then like a few things for TikTok. It's like such a ridiculous thing that I'm like, I need to go and film for TikTok, I know, but we're going to get that all situated. Also, there is a bonus episode of the podcast this week with Maddie and Lauren Orlando, cutest girls ever. It was like a sister episode. We also did like a what I wish I knew at 16, 13 different ages, because Lauren's a lot younger than us. Maddie and I are actually the same age, but I think she's like maybe one year older than us. Anyways, it was a really cool episode because it's also the youngest guest I've had, and we also talk about TikTok on there. Go check it out, link down below. So I changed them to swats officially. I'm just going to show you guys how I curl my hair with this curling iron. I know I've recently showed you guys how I've been curling my hair. Okay, this is so painful. I know I recently showed you guys how I've been curling my hair with my Drybar 3-Day Bender in another vlog. And this is honestly like the same kind of idea, so it's nothing crazy. But just wanted to show you guys how I've been getting like a lot looser waves. I also just think it ends up like second day. It just kind of looks like I got a blowout, which is kind of nice because typically, I would have already like brushed it all out by then.  I actually have gone on a few walks. I just didn't really vlog them. I've been doing that obviously a lot with a new puppy slash. I also just like, I actually love that I just got a puppy because while it's already in my routine to go on a lot of walks, even though Fitz can't really like walk yet. Like he's not really, he's not really there yet. You know, also he's just, he's so small. It's hard and we don't really want to bring him to like highly populated areas. So we like take him outside really. I really like that because I think just going on walks throughout the day is really helpful for me, especially when I work from home. That's something that I really, really think is important, just like mental health wise even. So this is the Babelist Pro Baby List. How do you pronounce it? My sister's a hairdresser and says Babelist, I think so. I'm gonna trust her. Also a lot of you guys have been asking in our Dallas Facebook group, if you guys didn't know, we have like the big Facebook group, which is so much fun. And we also have a Dallas one. So if you guys are a Dallas girl, we're moving to Dallas or whatever. I've seen a lot of you guys are moving to Dallas and a lot of you guys have like made friends and it's really cool to see. But a lot of you guys have been asking for hairstyles in Dallas. My sister does my hair, she's the best, but she's in Frisco. So if any of you guys are looking for a new hairdresser, she's super fun. She's in North Dallas. Frisco's in North Dallas, obviously. So yeah, I just changed into company clothes to go to my parents for dinner. So I was gonna meet us. They all really wanna meet Fitz. Of course, our angel, love him. Um, yeah, I'm like really, I feel like more inspired than I have been in a while, which always happens right before I'm going out of town. But there's so many like IGTV videos. Like just, I wanna take things to like the next level, not even necessarily like, or really produce or anything like that. I feel like you guys don't really like that in my videos. Let me know if you guys would like them to be edited better or whatever. But I feel like most of the time from what I've gathered from you guys, you guys have really liked them to just be like a little bit more chill. But there's just like so many videos that I really wanna do that I'm excited about. Even like videos with other people in Dallas that will be cool. I'm just like really looking forward to it. And like podcast stuff, guest. All right guys, here's my outfit now. Here's the thing. These are my favorite outdoor voices sweats. These are in a size, I wanna say small. The size I need is a small, yeah, these are so small. My gray ones, but perfectly, the only problem is that like in these, I feel like there's just extra fabric in the butt. So it like, do you see what I'm saying? Like at the top? I don't know. So it ends up looking like I'm wearing a diaper sometimes. But this is my look. I'm just going to my parents' house so it like doesn't matter. Also guys, isn't this just so peaceful? I love this. I actually really want to replace my bed and my nightstands already, which I hate that I wanna do that already, but so annoying. Also, I still haven't returned my parachute home shams that came. I got the wrong kind. So need to do that. All right guys, finished filming my IGTV book influencer video. Also, some TikToks don't mean to chew my own horn, but kind of a TikTok star at this point. So me with my 4,000 followers, but yeah, here's what I'm wearing. About to take the dogs to my parents. I'm actually really hungry. So hopefully there's a great meal awaiting us. Guys, we're about to leave. Fits! We're just hanging with Dolly. I literally cannot wait for the day that I actually take a photo here and my caption is working nine to five. But hi, my baby boy. Hi, I love you. Just woke him up from a nap. He went on a walk with Q. I think while I was on that session, right? Did you? I think that's what you did. So Coco is just running around. Favorite song he just shared with me. Okay, so we're on our way. Coco is just chilling in the back. I feel like I've already updated you guys so many times on how Coco is doing. I've already updated you guys on how Coco is doing so many times. But truthfully, she just couldn't care less. She's already very independent. And I feel like I'm smothering her with attention to make sure, because obviously we have to give a new puppy a lot of attention. Hey bud. And she just doesn't care. I don't know. She's always been a girl who just likes her time alone and she's just chilling. Okay, so anyways. Wow. Guys, did you know that Quintin can actually sing? Fun fact. Okay, but what I would say, both fits is, wow, what are you planning on doing here? Anyways, I was doing an Instagram Q&A just now and people kept asking about mean Q breaking up and I jokingly said, like, we didn't break up. We just were social distancing for six weeks. And a few people got so angry. Not you guys, but they were like, oh my gosh, you said you broke up. But I was just kidding. I was being so sarcastic. We literally broke up for six weeks. It was literally a joke. But anyways, yeah, people were mad. So you win some, you lose some. I thought it was funny. Guess not. But a lot of you guys, my real true friends on here messaged me and you thought it was funny. Wow, you look so cute. Look at this beautiful view that you have in the great state of Texas. You are so lucky to live here. You know that? Aw, he's really ready to get out of the car, which is a little bit frightening because we're going on a longer trip with him this week. And, uh, you know, we're gonna do our best. Good thing he sleeps most of the day. Like, guys, are you joking? And just look at this angel that we have here. Fits the angel, not fits the terrible. Fits the angel. Don't forget it. Right? Yeah.  Let's see it's half. Uh-huh. Yeah. Yep. Ooh. This is a weird pizza box. Why is this like this? Something about this is just all. Wow, looks so good. Chicken parm. Wow. Okay, okay, guys. Just me and the pups. I'm in the car because I'm waiting for Sav and Q. We're actually gonna go over to my sister's house really quickly. It's really sad because my sister, well, it's actually not sad for Coco. Coco is staying with my sister for the week because Q and I are going on a little road trip.   So Fits is going on the road trip with us, but it's just too much to bring two dogs right now. And Coco already, well, Maddie was already planning on watching Coco with her dog for the week. So that's what we're doing. I'm actually gonna have a very hard time being away from Coco for a week, regardless, because we spend every second of the day together. Hi, how are you? So yeah. It's what's best for Coco. Coco was not gonna want to go on this road trip and like there's really big dogs, Sav's going, meeting us there. There's really big dogs where we're going and it's just like it's not ideal for her, but it is pretty ideal for him. So that's what we're doing. I'm gonna like actually be so sad when she, it's not even gonna be a full week, but we're just gonna drop her off tonight because my family lives like 45 minutes away and I don't really have time to drop her off tomorrow. So, oh Coco, I'm gonna be so sad. I'm gonna miss you so much. I'm like really getting emotional guys. This is kind of ridiculous. Fitz, you're so crazy.  And you and Kobe are gonna be great pals because you guys have similar energy levels. So, Coco, I'm literally gonna cry. I love you, girl.  I'm gonna cry. We're gonna have so much fun. Oh my god, please. I need you to, Maddie's watching Coco for the week. The thing about Maddie is that you just have to catch her on a good moon and it's just... She did. She got a little bit of Fitz action. Yeah, it's really hit or miss, but I'm actually gonna cry even, Coco. I wanna show this to my little nephew. Oh no, she's on a good moon. Oh, say I love my aunt Maddie. I know. I know, okay. Wow, okay. Coco, where'd you go, girl?   You're gonna have the best time ever, Coco. I love you, girl. You're gonna have so much fun with Kobe and Maddie. Oh my gosh. Guys, I'm having a really sad time with this leaving Coco. My bestie. I know I'm being so dramatic. I don't know why I'm actually so emotional about this. It's kind of embarrassing. Also, I just wanna say I know I'm gonna get hate comments because we just got a new dog and then Coco's going to stay with my sister for the week, but this trip had on her watching Coco had already been planned and then we just happening it fits. We were trying to get fits or just whatever dog we were getting after, but then we ended up getting him before the road trip and obviously I'm not gonna ask her to watch her puppy. All right, done here. Obviously I'm not gonna ask her to watch her puppy because one, that's just a lot even though she would have done it, but two, also like we need to be with him and train him and all that. Coco is really easy to take care of and train and I also wouldn't want Coco because we're going to see Quentin's family and there's big dogs and all this, like a lot of whatever, it's just a lot of added hassle. We wouldn't even be taking fits if fits wasn't so little. Oh my gosh, we're gonna hit him right now. Oh my gosh, I miss Coco already. Guys, I'm sorry I'm being annoying. We're gonna miss these days when we're holding him. I know.  We're gonna watch these vlogs so many times. We never watch vlogs either. We're gonna show these vlogs when Fitz gets a girlfriend one day. Yeah. Little girl pup. Little girl pup, we'll make them watch. All the baby videos when he has a big belly. Guys, we haven't even gotten to the car yet and I already texted Sav because Sav's there to see if Coco's okay. So anyways, I also want to say these vlogs are not only gonna be about my dog parent lifestyle, but that's currently what's happening in life. So that actually feels really great out right now. Summer in Mickey. I miss Coco. Guys, oh my gosh. I'm dying. He's so cute. Little angel. So tired. Wow, busy day. Guys, I wish I was recording because I didn't know that this was gonna be the package. Quinton. She just freaked. She totally freaked. Guys, I'm dying. Oh my gosh. Let me get the part out. Guys, it's a dolly part in Coosie. I'm literally dying. Kelsey Ann Designs. This is the Entho, her business card, but it's just Kelsey Ann Designs on Instagram. Oh my gosh. No, guys, I'm literally like losing my mind. Wow. Guys, this is just absolutely not real. I have another package. I will have this Instagram link down below, but they actually made me, I believe I want to say I've logged it, but maybe it was on the one day that I wasn't vlogging. I got it in the mail. They gave me an IOSM little embroidered crew. Which is so cute. Then they gave me a tank top, and then, guys, I had no idea this was even coming. It's a pink dolly part in fan club. Like, this is just not real. This is literally the best thing that ever happened to me. Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed. I just love these. That's so cute. I'm truly feeling on top of the world because not only did I come home to not one, but two, you know what? This lighting is so much better. I just posted an Instagram story saying this, but like not only did I come home, not only did I come home to not one, but two packages in like some sort of dolly part in fashion. My license arrived finally, and so this is a big end of a chapter of my DMV series for the past six months. We are done. I finally have my, like, not, I finally have a working ID that is in Texas and is not expired and is actually up today with my current everything, you know? So it's really truly been my week. Also, let's just go back and look at these cute dolly part in koozies. Guys, I said this in a vlog where I talked about how I was getting these in the mail soon, and I don't drink anything with the koozies. Oh, you know what? My recess drinks, I love those. I need to order some of those. That would fit these. I feel like anything that I drink that's in a can, like my macho ones are also like really fit. You know what I mean? So recommend drinks down below that would fit in these koozies because obviously I'm gonna have to make a lifestyle change just to use these. Like, are you kidding me? Best thing ever, seriously, wow.  I've been loving vlogging lately and just filming and I feel like I have so many video ideas and so many things I want to do, but I love you guys so much. I hope you guys enjoyed today's vlog. Subscribe, comment down below. I love you 46, you guys made it this far. Love you guys, bye.


New series new series alert ladies and gentlemen welcome back to the channel. My name is Jack the Buster I should know me we are beginning a brand new adventure today a very highly requested show and one that I myself have wanted to Watch for quite a while mob psycho 100 now if you know me you know that one punch man is one of if not my favorite anime of all time It's what literally got me into anime in the first place And I know that mob psycho is by the same creator So I'm super excited just to see I mean remotely what we're about to get into because I don't know a single thing about it Just think that the kid with the bull cut named mob That's that's pretty much it if you're new to the channel drop us up and hit that big boy Bells you won't miss this adventure with us and let's hop into episode one called self-proclaimed psychic Reagan Reagan or a taco and and mob. I like how and mob has like a little Did I click on the right episode? Oh Is this the intro? Dang Rose fight demons What is the demon? Animation looks pretty slick. Maybe this isn't an intro. It's like an intro hybrid It's counting up. Is it counting up to a hundred the like how colorful these like monster looking things are so heavily contrasted to the like they look crazy so contrasted to the environment Is that the moon from Zelda?  All right, we just get into a baby show me what you got Oh, I believe it This reminds me of curses from JJK I Like it's like a spike Reagan is it Reagan? This feels like Ghostbusters play big column in Is different plenty of certifications All out Of course, she's gonna buy option C Harbin dioxide this art style is not what I expected. I'm into it. Maybe I just expected something like one punch How kind of him she getting scammed Yeah, I feel like he's he's I'm charging her just for fun z's just because he can well, this is gonna exercise I guess she can find another psychic Besides me Wait, oh my gosh They Reagan got no chill, bro Is he about to flex a little bit? Yeah, I love how over the top it is The soundtrack is kind of it's different.  It's is very high energy.  That's the lighting That's what I was saying. Oh my Well, yeah, the ghost is real. They found it go Reagan go. Oh, maybe he's not a scammer Just throwing salt at it Violently This is such a polite ghost What do you mean only imagine Ultimate weapon. Oh Was that mom?   I said Reagan is the flashy part of the business dealings He can only got an intro. Okay, I'll mention. All right. I think we got the world sort of established good idea of it at least Are they gonna count up to a hundred seen all the promo of anything I've ever seen mobs like I've always seen pictures of mob But never Reagan. I don't think it looks like they're they're the dynamic duo of this show though But yeah mob has the it's an affair smooth as head mob has the title role Why did that turn into broccoli? God that mob at the very beginning. I'm guessing that this is like a flat forward of maybe I can look into How powerful he becomes the 100 must be like a power level he reaches or something. I don't know spirits in such This is a really different art style than what I'm used to What you're scamming my boy mob Ain't no way man That was a lower level You can't even take care of a lower level himself Okay, buddy Really So it appears mob is a bit naive Oh my are you teaching him What do you have to teach if he's the strong one? And some other people so you can use them against people at Orgos Where's mob's explosion? Okay, we're just gonna skip over that I guess Yeah, that's just your casual sign of puberty That's his brother That's incredible. This is a shonen and both their parents are here and the siblings get along. This is This is something else seasoning city salt middle school Okay, dude What the why are they like vegetables? Oh wait, he just sees them like that Does he just see here is that beautiful that they look like vegetables next to her No mob go he's kind of adorable Hey don't laugh at him Oh No Well, this is me for real though in sports So he's really powerful but lacks a lot of regular kids stuff it appears We're almost getting called into work too, but I mean you were gonna on-call job in middle school You're bound to be stressed and he's not getting paid what he should be Like this is so ominous. Why is he gonna explode? Oh neighborhood council This seems like tourist trappy isn't like a paper like that The ringer like oh what brought a man God dang ominous The new star of the paranormal world, oh no, oh no He's watching the aunts Mom is so adorable man.   Okay. He know this one. He looks much bigger a Wrestler. Oh, no, you've offended him. Oh Gosh No, he wants it.  Oh wait Is that Reagan on the mob presented him never mind, maybe Reagan was come a man He's cast spitting for a bit. Maybe I got taken more seriously He has the salt again Let's go Wait, it actually hurt him nice Reagan pulling some weight Oh Well, how did he protect himself? With that Being forced to do this. Oh wait, that's kind of sad Wait, those weren't was he just pretending that those were his powers. There's another Whatever spirit is deeper is trying to keep people from something like they had a really sad death unfortunate death Who are you to say God artist? Exactly what I was thinking maybe it's gonna have mob flex a little bit show how strong he is Yeah, no, there's was just really unfortunate and he saw it happen whatever spirit is deeper down Bob log forward. Oh fear man. Oh, you're working overtime.   It's so pretty Oh, it was just a culmination of a bunch of trash Bob really OP The student is a great The gang Oh That's so sad all right episode one done and done so he kind of a freed them to an extent so it's entirely It was the the whole gang it looked like that was encapsulated into one sort of ghost. Oh Great question mom The question is does mom really realize that Reagan's kind of a fake He's like barely skirting by without him figuring it out seasoning station seasoning station seasoning city Salt what was at high school? No, we're going up a little more 27 okay, I'm guessing the whole explosion percentage thing is going to be over the course of the season no pun intended I guess but a very interesting story threw us into this world pretty quickly and got us really accustomed with who mob is and Especially who Reagan is seems like they're going to be the sort of to duo Protagonists with extremely varying personalities to say the least I think both are likeable for their own reasons Especially because it seems like although Reagan does kind of short mob on pay and whatnot He still builds them up. He's like you're you're so powerful and we will be together But like I said, I think the only teaser thus far Towards an overarching thing is whatever was in the beginning of this episode Which in fact might be the explosion that it's working towards and the count up to the explosion Those are the two overarching things I sort of noticed because that has been it for episode one of our mob It's like a 100 reaction do drop us up on the channel if you are new Let me know down in the comment section what you thought of episode one if it's your first time If not, let me know what you thought of my reaction to the very first episode and I'll catch you guys in the next one This base


Everybody forced here ripping 2021 eminence football hobby case number 31 a random hit style Bryce and we'll type in the hits as we go. We'll do the random at the very end to see who gets what 10 spots 10 hits Good luck everybody and again. I believe this is our last case of eminence Yeah, it's it should be the most one of the second most recent random hit one All right, here we go y'all Let's see some platinum. Let's see a shield Living dangerously guys throw I'm throwing knives.  All right foam time. Okay. What is going on here? Is that supposed to be the top? All it is It is the top though Seal What up Luke? This was what 1700 a spot? Yeah Okay, here we go y'all Here's diamond guarantee for one maybe two cards in here No, we can't see the bottom. Let's start at This one it is an Eric Dickerson auto number to five of ten Eric Dickerson auto five of ten gilded graphs Hall of Fame running back to start us off Yeah, that must be right around at least release Lamook. Just make sure you put auto And then do like all caps to and then you want to be descriptive. So like this one will be a Jerome bettis patch auto six of ten Jerome bettis patch auto six of ten The boss another Hall of Fame running back Hall of Fame patch auto actually nice the boss He's got such a nice thing. I Mean they all that Dickerson does too.  That's cool. It has like a silhouette right there I don't know if I've ever noticed that before Kurt last case finally noticed something apparently Got a Tyreek Hill patch auto two of five the Lamarhaan afc patch That's sick. Tyreek Hill patch auto two of five That's pretty it's always so cool the chief's guards have that patch So unique cheetah Dude is a beast. It's cool to see him and my home is both do like super well That just shows how great they both are Without each other Maybe I'll be reunited again one day my homes of the dolphins confirmed and I don't know if this was supposed to be on the top part. This is a big card though You look at this NFL shield quad diamond Zach Wilson One out of one Holy cow. Good luck on that you guys Quad diamond NFL shield Zach Wilson you just put Zach Wilson NFL shield Yeah, we saw five cards. That was up top. Holy cow, man That was up top for some reason and remind you when when they packed out this product Zach Wilson was like You know this is last summer. That's insane, man. Good luck on that one, man Yeah, regardless what you think about him that that's still that's still a seller right there. That's that's a nice one. Oh Yeah, that's right I pulled the I'm at Wilson shield redemption. I can't stop pulling his shields apparently 2022 impeccable we are at 2022 impeccable Here we've A Troy ounce of fine silver, this is an Emmett Smith silver bar auto five of eight Emmett Smith silver bar auto Five of eight E. M. M. I TT and packable 62 is tomorrow night Yeah, it says Monday in the description Disgrace that says auto though. It's like not all the way like where it should be he like signed it kind of sloppily unfortunately I'm trying to find I'm packable number 62 is supposed to be 1115 p.m. Eastern Monday night 1115 p.m. Eastern Monday. All right moving on to John L. Way diamond auto two of three And again all diamonds and eminence are jumbo diamonds That's it's like single diamond John L. Way diamond auto two of three So this is getting tougher. Yeah, it's getting tough, man One Troy ounce of 14 karat gold Joe Montana auto one of two a Troy ounce of 14 karat gold one of two Big-time card there. Good luck on this one Montaignea Super Bowl 24. This is a really good box two more cards Mac Jones one of three Laundry tag auto Michael McCorkle Jones Man that's sick Mac Mac Mac one of three Patch auto Mac. John. Well laundry. I guess just laundry tag auto Mac Jones With the swoosh on it building up to this one, too It's hoping for a relic on this but It's him. It's him. It's Trevor Lawrence Rookie auto seven of ten a Three rookie QB box Trevor Lawrence rookie auto seven out of ten Return of the Mac Trevor Lawrence with the Zach Wilson shield the gold bar Montana auto diamond autos of Elway. Oh my goodness, man Trevor Lawrence rookie auto seven of ten That was man. There's some there's there. There's a lot of good hits to be had here in this random Give me just a second No, sorry, the players is good. That's the way to do it. You don't have to do anything I'll do it Take some badass All right. All right Let's do the random. Thanks for joining everybody and best of luck here one and three four times Four times names four times hips put them side by side to see what everybody's got names first one two three and four Scott H down to Jim D and it hits y'all best of luck Here we go one two three and Four and Trevor Lawrence auto down to the Tyree kill patch auto There you have it Scott H with the Trevor Lawrence auto Bren and G the Zach Wilson shield Hilton T The Montana gold auto Robert S the Eric Dickerson auto Rob H the Bettis patch auto Adam K the Kurt Warner diamond auto Greg M with the Emmett Smith silver bar auto Joseph B with the Mac Jones laundry tag auto to three Hilton T with the Elway diamond auto and Jim D with a Tyree kill patch auto Very good box. They're very good case. I'll get those results posted talking in just a moment


My name is Sam Vaknim and I'm the author of Malignant Self-Love, Narcissism Revisited. Codependence are people who depend on other people for their emotional gratification and for the performance of ego or even daily functions. Codependence are needy, demanding and submissive. They fear abandonment, they cling and they display immature behaviors in an attempt to maintain their relationship with their companion or mate upon whom they depend. No matter what abuse is inflicted upon the codependent, she remains in the relationship. By eagerly becoming victims, codependence seek to control their victimizes. There is a type of codependent called inverted narcissist or covert narcissist. It is a codependent who exclusively depends on narcissists. Or we can call it narcissists codependent. If you are living with a narcissist, if you have a relationship with one, if you are married to a narcissist, if you are working with a narcissist, that does not mean that you are an inverted narcissist. To qualify as an inverted narcissist, you must crave to be in a relationship with a narcissist. Regardless of any abuse inflicted on you by him. You must actively seek relationships with narcissists and only with narcissists. No matter what your bitter and traumatic past experiences have been. You must feel empty and unhappy in relationships with any other kind of person who is not a narcissist. Only then, and if you satisfy the other diagnostic criteria of dependent personality disorder, only then can you be safely labeled an inverted narcissist. Pay attention, inverted narcissists are narcissists. It is clear that either to there is a neglected type of narcissist. It is the self-effacing, the introverted narcissist. This is a narcissist who in many respects is a mirror image of the classical narcissist. The psychodynamics of the inverted narcissist are not clear and the development roots are not certain. Inverted narcissists may be the product of an overwinning and domineering parent or caregiver. Or perhaps excessive abuse leads to the repression of the narcissistic self-defense mechanism. We don't know, but what we do know is that inverted narcissists are self-effacing, sensitive, emotionally fragile and sometimes socially phobic. They derive all their self-esteem and sense of self-worth from the outside. They are pathologically enraged. They are likely to intermittently engage in abusive and aggressive and violent behaviors. But they are more emotionally labelled than the classical narcissists. We can distinguish three types of narcissists. One, the offspring of neglecting parents. The children of such parents default to narcissism as the prominent psychological defense mechanism against abuse and trauma. Then we have the offspring of doting, smothering and domineering parents. These children internalize their parents' voices in the form of a sadistic, ideal and immature conscience. And they spend their lives trying to be perfect or knowing or nipotent and to be judged as success by these parent images. And then we have the offspring of abusive parents. These children internalize their abusing, demeaning and contemptuous voices. They spend their lives in an effort to elicit counter voices from other people. And in this way to regulate their self-esteem and fluctuating sense of self-worth. It is possible to compose a set of criteria for the inverted narcissist by simply translating the criteria available in the diagnostic and statistical manual for the classical narcissist. So criteria number one would be the inverted narcissist possesses a rigid sense of lack of self-worth. The inverted narcissist's sense of self-worth does not fluctuate as opposed to the narcissist's. The inverted narcissist is rather stable, but his self-confidence and self-esteem are very low. Whereas the narcissist devalues others, the inverted narcissist devalues herself as an offering, as a sacrifice to the narcissist in her life. The inverted narcissist preempts the narcissist by devaluing herself, by actively berating her own achievements or talents. Inverted narcissist is extremely distressed when singled alpha-praise or when her actual accomplishments are acknowledged or when her superior skills are demonstrated. She is afraid that this might endanger her relationship with her narcissist. The inverted narcissist is compelled to filter all her narcissistic needs through the primary narcissist in her life. Independence or personal autonomy are not permitted by the narcissist. The inverted narcissist feels amplified by the narcissist's own accomplishments and successes. She lives vicariously, by proxy as it were.  Criterion two would be the inverted narcissist is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance and beauty or of an ideal love to be accomplished through the narcissistic partner, mate or spouse. Again, the inverted narcissist lives through the narcissist's life.  It is through his successes, accomplishments, standing in society that she feels enhanced, buttressed and well. Criterion three, the inverted narcissist believes that she is absolutely not unique and not special. Actually, she believes that she is worthless and unworthy of merger with the fantasized ideal which is the narcissist. She believes that no one at all could understand her because she is innately unworthy of being understood. The inverted narcissist becomes very agitated the more one tries to understand her because that also offends against her righteous sense of being properly excluded from the human race. She feels an outcast. Criterion four, inverted narcissist demands anonymity in the sense of seeking to remain excluded at all costs. She is intensely irritated and uncomfortable with any mention being paid to her with any praise, with any attention actually. In this sense, inverted narcissism is very similar to the schizoid personality disorder. Criterion five, the inverted narcissist feels that she is undeserving and not entitled to anything. Remember that classical narcissists feel entitled to everything. Inverted narcissist is a mirror image. She feels not entitled to anything. She feels that she is inferior to others lacking, insubstantial, unworthy, unlikable, unappealing, unlovable. Someone to scorn and dismiss and to ignore. Criterion six, the inverted narcissist is extinguishingly selfless. She is sacrificial. She is even anxious in her interpersonal relationships. She avoids the assistance of others at all costs. She can only interact with others when she can be seen to be giving, supportive and expanding an unusual effort to assist. So she is sacrificial. She sacrifices herself, but ostentatiously in full view. Criterion seven, the inverted narcissist lacks empathy like the classical narcissist. She is intensely attuned to others' needs, but only insofar as it relates to her own need to perform the required self-sacrifice. She needs to self-sacrifice in order to obtain her narcissistic supply from the primary narcissist. She sacrifices herself to the narcissist, and that's how she gets her narcissistic supply. But to do so, she must be attuned to his needs. So this is her restricted use or leverage of empathy. Criterion eight, the inverted narcissist envies others. She cannot conceive of being envied and becomes extremely agitated and uncomfortable if even brought into a situation where comparison might occur. She loves competition. She avoids competition at all costs. If there is any chance of actually winning the competition or being signaled out, she will stay away. The last criterion, Criterion nine, the inverted narcissist displays extreme shyness. Lack of any real relational connections is publicly self-effacing, is internally highly moralistic and critical of others. She is a perfectionist. She engages in lengthy ritualistic behaviors which can never be perfectly performed, so in this sense she is obsessive-compulsive. Notions of being individualistic are anathema to the inverted narcissist. In many respects, the inverted narcissist does not exist, except through her primary narcissist, her narcissistic spouse or mate or companion. In his absence, she is just a shred of waiting for the main body.