Welcome, everyone. Thank you for joining us for our program at Mechanics Institute online on Zoom. We're very pleased to welcome you to White Space, Essays on Culture, Race and Writing with author Jennifer DeLeon, poet Norma Liliana Valdez, and our moderator, Sara Campos. I'm Laura Shepherd, Director of Events at the Mechanics Institute. And we are very pleased to cosponsor our program tonight with Latinx in Publishing, the Mesa Refuge, the Puente Project and Cinnamon Girl. These are four incredible programs that offer resources for writers of color for all ages and backgrounds. So we're thrilled to cosponsor with these organizations and promote writers across the country. Before we begin, I just want to say we will have a Q&A at the end. So please hold your questions and put them in the chat. And also, if you would like to purchase books by our authors, White Space is available at Alexanderbook.com and also at any independent bookstore near you. So we're very pleased to welcome two acclaimed writers to talk about how to forge one's identity as an immigrant in the landscape of whiteness. And what it took for them to cultivate their creative potential as artists. Before we begin our program, I'd like to introduce our very special guests. Sara Campos is a writer, lawyer and program officer at a private foundation. Her work has appeared in a number of publications, including two anthologies, Basta, an anthology of Latinx and gender violence, and Wanderings, The Wandering Song, Central American Writing in the U.S., and also another of other journals and newspapers, including Porter House Review, Rat Valley Review, St. Anne's Review, Five Fifty Split Color Lines, Alternate Media, and the LA Review of Books, and also the San Francisco Chronicle. She has received an Elizabeth George Foundation grant and residences, and fellowships from Las Letras Latinas, also from Bono, Wakando, Hedgebrook, the Anderson Center, and the Mesa Refuge. Jennifer DeLeon is author of Don't Ask Me Where I'm From, and editor of Wise Latinas, Writers on Higher Education. DeLeon has also published prose in over a dozen literary journals, including Plow Shares, The Iowa Review, and the Michigan Quarterly Review, and is a rub street instructor and board member. She is a currently assistant professor of creative writing at Framingham State University and makes her home in the Boston area, and we're very pleased to welcome you, Jennifer, for the first time. Thank you. And with her, our poet, Norma Liliana Valdez is a member of the Wakando Writers Workshop, and a Kanto Mondo Fellow. And her work appears in The Rumpus, the Los Angeles Review, Tinderbox Poetry Journal, and the anthology, Latinas Struggles and Protests in 21st Century USA, among others. Norma earned her BA in Psychology and MS in Counseling and the Graduate Certificate in Ethnic Studies from the San Francisco State University. She is also an alumna of UC Berkeley Extension Writing Program, and has been awarded residences and fellowships from Hedgebrook, under the Volcano International, community of writers, and Vona, in addition to others. She is a founding member of the Chingonda Collective, a women's writing group whose mission is to nurture a sustaining writing practice for its members through mutual encouragement and writing retreats, and she also lives in the Bay Area. So please welcome our special guest. Thank you. Thank you, Laura, and thank you to the Mechanics Institute for inviting us to put together this program. I feel really delighted to be in conversation with these two fabulous writers to both Latinx, both women, both educators, SAS, although one is primarily a fiction writer of young adult fiction. And the other one's primarily a poet. Although their work is distinct, I think they share common themes involving womenhood, womanhood, and the immigrant experience. And these are themes that I want to explore today with them. Their work has a lot of power and vitality. And the narrators in both their books seek to gain agency over their circumstances. Something that I truly appreciate. I'm going to start with you, Jen. I think of white space as a journey. I think of it both in a real physical sense, because the centerpiece of the book is this trip that you took as a young woman to Guatemala. But the book is also a journey about the writerly life.  So I'd love to ask you just how, how formative that trip to Guatemala was, even if, you know, you didn't write that novel that you intended to write. How did they, how did the trip inform your writing and how, you know, tell me, tell the audience about, about what that meant for you. Yes, I'd love to thank you so much for, for guiding us in this rich discussion that I know we're about to have and thank you everyone for being here I feel so welcome by the mechanics Institute. I just want to mention briefly that I was born in Boston and grew up outside of Boston, but after college I moved to California to the Bay Area to do the Teach for America program, and I taught third and fourth grade in San Jose. And went to the University of San Francisco. So the Bay Area is just has a special place in my heart I know lots of people say that, but it's true. The white space, the essays, as you mentioned, are pieces where I really reflect on the white spaces that I've been a part of my whole life, friend groups, schools, workplace institutions like college higher education and even the gym as a white space that I write about but it's also about the white space of the page and how I learned to really take up space on the page fill that white space and grow into my identity as a writer and an author. For me, going to Guatemala when I was 28 years old is absolutely at the crux of my development as a writer. Growing up, I heard stories about Guatemala constantly both my parents were born there grew up there and they moved to the United States when they were 18. So my sisters and I were just like doused in stories growing up. And it was always this mythical place like wow what's Guatemala. I went there for the first time when I was nine years old, and that was a very impactful trip. And we would go back and forth. In the back of my mind I always knew that I wanted to live there. I wanted to go there alone without the invisible leash of my parents, and without their, their protection, because every time we traveled there. We, I joke but we would go on these living room tours, we would just go from one living room to another living room to another living room, and I'm like, there's a whole country out there, you know, and my parents just they wanted to see people, see the landscape, etc. So, when I was 28, I was in the middle of an MFA program and creative writing, and I was familiar with school, I was good at school, I had done school. I wasn't looking for any more, though, I realized after one semester in the program that what I needed to do was to fill the well to go to the motherland to take that route strip, and to really learn more about the history of the country, improve my Spanish and start a novel. My parents, their response was a little surprising, because they actually, my father was worried, he didn't want me to go alone as a woman, he thought it was very dangerous, even though I had lived in other parts of the world, like Vietnam and Nigeria and France and, but he, so he flew down a week before I arrived, and he met me at the airport, and for a week, he took me to great family members, and we took, we rented a car and drove to get something angle. And during that week, he was my guide, and he really introduced me to the country in a new way. I have never heard him talk as much, joke as much, share stories as much as he did that week. All of which is to say that I can't imagine being a writer without having spent that time in Guatemala. And it wasn't all roses, there were some thorns, but that was part of the experience as well. And I have so much to write about, I feel like I can fill books and books with essays after that trip. But this, this trip really is the center of the book. Wonderful. I wonder if you could open that book and read to us from that book. Yeah, so I'll read a short essay called a map of the world. When I was in ninth grade, my father ran away from home. One frost but in New England morning, he climbed into his great Toyota and drove toward Guatemala. He left a letter for us written in blue pen on a single sheet of my school notebook paper somewhere around DC, he turned back. I have always wondered how his life and mine would be different, had he kept driving his longing has haunted me ever since. It's why I am here in Guatemala, living day to day page to page. I want to understand how my father could possibly love a country, more than his family. I am sitting in a library in the Western Highlands, tattered spines of paperbacks line the locked doors of the wooden bookshelves, Paulo fray, the government to john up dykes rabbit run. The library is one room with three square wooden tables and posted on the white wall, a map of the world. On my down map, North America is in the southern hemisphere, Australia trades places with Europe, a window the size of the door places afternoon light in clean strips across the cool tiles. Outside clouds cast shadows over the mountains. The one librarian's name is Araceles.   Her shoulders over my desk examines the black marks I have scribbled between the thin tan lines in my leather bound journal. She leans in my shoulders tense. I have seen her before. I returned to this library like I returned to this country over and over. But today, it's as if my face has a sign that reads, tell me your story. My father lives in the United States in Arkansas city. And when I was three, he left Guatemala to work, but he always called and said he had gifts for us, my mother, my sister and well, my father for me. He was just everything hope a hero until one day when it was my sister's birthday and we had the cake ready the food everything and the telephone rings and it's him. She tells me in one long black hair of a sentence. She talks with her hands and her eyes dart left to right. She speaks as if we pencil this conversation in our calendar weeks ago, like she'd been practicing it while walking along the narrow cracks sidewalks in the pink light of sunrise and the orange light of sunset. So he says, look, I'm only calling to say that I have another family now. I don't love you anymore and I'm not returning. Aracelyce and I both nod, me side to side and she up and down. I didn't want to say anything to my sister. So I waited until my mother asked me what was wrong.  Maybe he was lying, I say, sometimes life is hard in the US. People can't find work. A man can feel like a failure. No. Aracelyce pulls down her sweater. After that, I didn't want to have anything to do with him. Joseph free. I even had to go to the hospital. Yes.  The shade from his cowboy hat hides his face. The high son has moved his attention to another latitude, another longitude seated at the wooden table. I want to cry, not for Aracelyce, not for her father, but for mine. He could not do what other men did. My father, who has been homesick for 40 years. But a feeling of gratitude swarms me. Thank God he didn't have the guts. Thank God my father came back, and that I, his daughter can relish the warmth of both sons. That is what I felt as I listened to Aracelyce that afternoon in the library, when I stared long and hard at the upside down map. Thank you. Thank you, Jen. It was really beautiful. And I'm really glad you read that part because it, it reminds me that throughout your writing, and I've read a couple of your books and some short stories. You've got this theme about family separation. And I, and I think I even recall you're saying in that you're writing in white space that the issue haunts you.  And, you know, it's also the issue in your, in your book. Don't ask me where I'm from is the setup for, you know, the, this girl whose father gets deported. So what is it about this issue for you personally, and that composure to write about it and, and has it changed since you've become a mother. Wow, that's such a rich question. Thank you. I mean, it does haunt me. It's, I don't know which famous writer said this, but there's this idea that writers all have wounds that we return to, and and try to process through our writing and try to address and I guess for me that is a wound, you know, I was young 14 years old when when my father just up and left to go to Guatemala and what's what's interesting is that I remember when he came back, it was just a few days later, and so maybe a week, and I was getting ready to go babysit, and I was downstairs and my younger sister was watching cartoons, and my father came back into the house, and he hadn't even taken his jacket off and he sat down on the couch. And my little sister was like boppy, you know and she was hugging him and cartoons are like blaring they're so loud and this is the first time I'd ever seen my father cry, you know, the tears were falling down his face and, and he was back, and we never talked about it ever. You know, we didn't go to family counseling like on TV, like none of that we just it was a hole under the rug that we just stepped over every single day. As I grew older I just wondered like how I was so fascinated actually by his quest to want to go home, and then by his pull of his family to come back, you know, and I think I keep writing about it because turning it over and under different light sometimes I really do feel bad for my father because he wanted so badly to go home, and he didn't. And then other days I think how could he even consider leaving the family you know how I wouldn't do that. But then I think about his own father and how he left his eight siblings when the eighth baby had just been born you know I mean, stories some of them are inherited some of them are sort of passed on and I think our job as writers is to kind of untangle some of those thoughts and make meaning from them. At least that's what I enjoy doing that's my art form so I'll be writing about it for a while. The main theme that I saw running through white space is the straddling of cultures that occurs between immigrants and their and their children and children often act as a bridge between mainstream culture and parents, address that kind of navigation. And, and do you see that examples of that as an educator. Yes, absolutely. This concept of being the bridge that went there is very prevalent I think many times for children of immigrants, which is the case by case you know both my parents, even though they became us citizens and spoke English and you know they bought a house in a neighborhood like that was great schools all of that. They still didn't have this fluency in the culture. And I think for my sisters and I that's a big part about of what we brought home.  Absolutely you will learn to drive you know these are. These are parts of living the United States and the bridge component doesn't ever end, I think I still feel like I'm operating as a bridge for my parents after they've been in this country for 50 years.  I love that. I love that we can go back and forth. I hate the idea that to assimilate means to give up, you know where you come from or the parts of history. And that's part of why I write to. I really want young people or all people I guess readers to see that we're not a monolith, you know that our culture has many different identities and traditions and it's exciting to me to open up that window through literature. So, Norma, I'd like to invite you to join our conversation and also to begin with, I'd love to hear, and for the audience to hear your, your writing journey and how you begin as your primarily a poet, but also an essayist. So first of all, Sarah Sarah, thank you so much for inviting me into the station. First as a as a writer and Amiga who I just have so much respect for, and introducing me to Jen's work. Actually, as a writer as a poet is very, it's a very non traditional path. I don't have an MFA I was not one of those young people who at a very early age knew she wanted to write. I grew up in a household where there were three different types of books in my home as a daughter of Mexican immigrants and I want to also say that because I think it was important with Jen said about, I was not born in Mexico but I was made in Mexico. My mother was six months pregnant with me when she came to the United States on a tourist visa and she was already married to my father. She came as a single person and so when she got on that bus from Tijuana with my father they sat apart they didn't want anyone to think they were a couple because she was entering the country as a single woman and she covered her belly to cover up her pregnancy. She was afraid to enter the country and for it to be known that you know she was planning for me to be born in the United States. And all that to say that you know the immigrant experience that I understand is, is that through my family through my parents, it's a very strong presence that is important to me. Going back to my trajectory as a writer. There weren't very many books in my house there were many that is which was a, the Cosmo magazine, you know, in Spanish is equivalent of Cosmo money that is there was a lot of bad my mom loved to read that. My father used to love to read these little cowboy western back pocket little novels that were always that were translated into Spanish they were originally like like these cowboy stories. And he always had one in his back pocket he had a closet full of these little books which none of us could read we were not allowed to like really read those stories. And then the third type of book was sometime when I was in like fifth or sixth grade my parents bought an encyclopedia, which was an investment. So I didn't actually realize that I really love to read until I was in college and I discovered novels, and I just could not get enough of novels, but I never saw myself as a as a writer or much less a poet. My trajectory into into poetry came much later in my life when actually in my late 30s, when I was doing a lot of personal writing journaling. As a way to try to navigate a very difficult time in my life, which was my youngest son was diagnosed with an incurable disease. And at that time, the only way I really knew to kind of process what I was feeling is to go into my journals and to go into my journals and at a point a professional development workshop.  No, I'm not he says yes you are and, and this was the first time somebody said, you should sign up for a poetry workshop I mean what is that I don't even know what that is where can I go do this, and this is how two years later or a year later I ended up taking classes that you see Berkeley extension to, and I found one of the most amazing instructors Laura Walker, and I've, and I studied with I've studied since then with many, many renowned poets, wonderful teachers and I still go back to Laura Walker as my true poetry teacher she taught me so much about how to read and write poetry, even poetry you don't like or you think you don't like how can you really enter poetry, even when you think you don't like it. And so, from then, this new creative life force another way to understand and filter my life experience came to me, and that's how I started writing poetry, you know, a little over a decade ago. Wow. So I, I'd love for you to read some of that poetry. Yes, thank you. I, I, and we should say you know this is you, you're a published poet. You've got a book called preparing the body and from yes yes books. So I hope people will run out and get it. Absolutely gorgeous. Thank you and you can order it through yes yes books, which is a wonderful indie press based out of Portland. You can also go to my website normalilyonabaldes.com and you'll find the link to where to order the book. And to start off, I think, I'm going to start with a poem kind of speaking to Jen, what you know what I resonate so much in Jen's work, which is this, oh my gosh, this desire for my motherland, which is Mexico, and a place I cannot really have the way I wanted. So I'm going to start with this poem titled De postlan blues. Orchids hanging from the patio ceiling. When no one is watching I will take one and put it in my pocket as if I could own something of this place. By morning, it will be dead.  The air will belong to firewood. Night will return cold to my bones. I'll be a little bit he have woman half moon on the feast of San Sebastian fireworks rise and fall like us all. Orchestras will be spark and ash. Nothing here is tame. I am high and disoriented pulled by my entrails. I'll dance miscal blues. His hand inside my thigh will be a hovering question. How can we do this and where. I don't know if I'll be enough for the way I want to swallow this country. Oh, the next poem I'm going to read was actually written in the postline the postline is in the state of more loss and I was at under the volcano international which is a wonderful writing residency and workshop you can look and look them up online and I was taking a class with a renowned Mexican poet who shall not be named. And I read this I am intriguing. And I read this poem I invited him to attend, but I gave it to him ahead of time so he wouldn't be shocked. I didn't want him to be upset at me. What you need to do when you're renowned Mexican poetry teacher points out exactly where in your poems, you sound like a tourist in Mexico. Go to the nearest taqueria and order three because the costilla and a Victoria by a tejuana we feel in cobalt and black. Make plans with your friend Donatio to eat more at a stranger's house on Friday night. Back the side of a mountain and visit an Aztec pyramid. Remember you speak Chicana fluently. Remember you shaken Dolores Huerta's hand and drunk mezcal with Sandra Cisneros read Gloria and Sardua again. Remember your grandfather was a Bracero, which means there was not enough food. Remember your pregnant mother wrote a bus for two days to get to the Tijuana border. Remember your father was deported at least once. You did not speak English when you started kindergarten. Remember you know how to clean the spines from no palace, how to palm corn into tortillas and tamales. Remember your unborn brother buried under the milpa. Remember your great grandfather, your grandmother. Say their names. Nieves or Nellas Romanita or Nellas say your name. Norma, Liana, but this who you come from Maria de los Angeles Ramirez and Juvenal Valdez and where. Thank you. Thank you. Let me read a couple more. Um, you know, one of the things the other things that I'm really drawn to you. I was writing in this book in a way a lot of a lot of death in Mexico that the narco violence that has happened in the last few years and and there's this. This really for a long time was really drawn to that. And so this next poem, how to search for your child. Colinas de Santa Fe, Veracruz, Mexico. Drive a six foot metal rod into ground with each click click clack of hammer dig the cross shaped bar deeper into soil. Pull out the rod. And close to your nose. Inhale. Wet earth or remains. Exhum 253 bodies, none of them yours. Yellow your skin. Grow your hair. Link waist link. This is this speaks to there's a group of mothers a story many years ago, a collective solicito in Veracruz, where the authorities were not in any kind of way helping them find their disappeared children and they developed this method of excavate or looking for the remains of their lost children. When there were rumors of mass graves. Okay, so would you like me to read one more, or shall we continue the conversation with Jen would you like to do. One quick one. Okay. Let me get a very, very short one which is very new. Very, very new. It's called Nacimiento, which means birth. Find the only hands my body knows wilderness, these thighs, these lips between my teeth, the grief beast moans hopes first snout and eyes. Beast is how I birth myself, again, and again. Thank you. The work is so sensual and achingly beautiful. And I, when I reach her poetry, I read a lot of pain, and it made me wonder. You know, and I asked this of both of you, like, what, what do you think it is about pain that serves as great fodder for writing. I think I will. The way I want to answer this is poetry has been a vehicle to really filter the understanding of that pain for me, right when I it's, it's in some way. It makes sense of these things. And it can become for me, both filter and microscope and self study, right, of these things that I that I consumed by these these whether it's my personal pain or, or universal pain. I'm feeling though, in my writing trajectory. I was, I have a writing mentor who I feel like, you know, my, my writing is changing.  So I have a kind of what I'm really looking more towards where a lot of my poems were looking more in a way like death. Right. I'm looking more towards life and how to refashion those wounds and to think about my writing in a different way. That's where I am right now. And what's to add to that. Well, even your answers are so poetic. It's amazing. I just love love love your hearing you read your work. And there are so many common denominators of like, are the, you know, themes in our work, the longing for that motherland and pain. What's inherent in pain is, is conflict and tension and drama, and that is fiction, you know, it's like that's the, the, the kind of bread and butter fiction in that way. And so I guess it helps to, yes, turn it into art and story but it's also on a practical level, very ripe for, for writing, you know, plot, I guess in essays it's a little bit different. The pain becomes more of like a hotspot in the essay that I kind of circle, and then slowly get the courage to like approach like a fire I guess. And it's in that process of essaying right like the French verb essay means to try. And that's why Montana named the essay essay. It makes sense. I love the essay form for that reason it's not like you start out with an answer. It's, it's a quest. And for that reason I think I'll always write essays because sometimes there are just these situations or questions or someone will say something in a reading and I think, Oh, oh yes.  I responded, but I have not stopped thinking about that question. So I'm like, Oh, okay, I have to bring that to the page, bring that to the white space, you know, and just kind of see what what comes of it. So I don't know if I answered your question, but it is so fun just talking about writing. I want to ask you both.  I read it in, is it tepots land blues I, you know that essay that you, you wrote, wrote and read just now Jen to about your father. You know, and I am just wondering what you think about that in terms of the immigrant experience is it something we all, you know as immigrants, children of immigrants. We, you know, we all we all have it and where, you know, how does it manifest so differently in people just what, what do you think about that. Is it inherently part of the immigrant experience I guess that. I guess the other question is like what, and does it get passed down to kids. You know, I think when when you ask this question I think of course the phrase that is commonly used media, media, you're neither from here nor there. And of course we can go. The liminal space right that we inhabit. One of the last few times I was in the postline my friend don't know who I mentioned in this poem who is a real person. You said to me, do it is the key idea. You know you are from here and from there. And that's the first time anybody have ever told me that. When I think about my longing for Mexico. It has, it has to do with. Something that feels, you know, so unattainable like in the way I want to experience and now it form both my Mexican that you'll get a say is as Mexican as I want to be and and inhabit that that that space. I'm never really going to quite understand it. And yet, when I think about what draws me to it. It's those experiences when, when I was a little girl and my we traveled to Mexico, almost every summer. And when I was like an elementary school and, and I remember the first time ever went horseback riding and my grandfather, I'm the oldest granddaughter, he put me on a horse and he just took me through down by the Rio and just, it was so different than the experience I had here in the States and they're like there is something else out there that is also mine. And I knew here. And I think that that's always what I'm, I feel like there is also that something there that is mine. And that I want to reach for, and I am continuously drawn to that. There's not a wholeness there, you know, to be only American. And as a, you know, light skinned Latina, I can pass as, you know, gringa, but that is not the wholeness or my identity so so to me the longing is a striving for wholeness. That's how I guess, speak to it. Yeah, yeah longing for wholeness absolutely. I always think about it as like, you know when you're when you're little and, or when I was little, I would have a sort of bedtime, you know, but I would go to sleep and then I would sometimes like sneak out of my room and creep down the hall and I'm like, I could hear my parents talking, laughing, eating panulse with their coffee every night, watching TV, maybe the phone was ringing like it was like life was still happening. And I felt like I had FOMO, like I was missing out. And I remember I would always tiptoe and I would just stand in the doorway I think I was like becoming a writer even at that age because I was like the peripheral narrator just like in the doorway looking at them and they could just be chatting, dipping the panulse, you know, and I felt this, like, almost like a jealousy like I want to be in there and I feel like that's what their whole lives before I was born, and their whole experiences in Guatemala. I felt like I want to go in there I want to be in there I want to know all about it. I want to to be the peripheral narrator for that experience or their, their, their upbringing in ways that are impossible to reach that I can't I mean I can't time travel all that. But through stories, I feel like those are those are some pathways that I'm able to go go into those spaces that I'm not allowed. And that's what so much of it is for me I just I maybe deep down feel like I haven't been allowed to be Guatemalan, or to be someone who can claim being Guatemalan, you know I wasn't born there. I have lived there now at this point I can say that I just like I write in the essays, you know, I always felt like I wanted to be more Guatemalan, more Latina, I just wanted more and the image that comes to mind is just kind of like their nostalgia. I was kind of wanting some of that like a bite of that. But not all immigrants of course have those sweet memories, you know, some of them are like shutting that gate and we are not opening it is iron tight. That sometimes is important to remember you know it's it's not all like we're leaving behind the beautiful countryside and coming here it's a lot of especially Guatemalan immigrants like flee violence and civil war and so much more so. I want to add just a little bit more to that this reminded me of my my oldest son, who is 21 now, when he was in high school he asked me, Mommy, do you think when people see me do they know I'm Mexican or do they think I'm white, and I looked at him and I'm like, oh baby, you do not look white.  And this to me like, how is it that my son is also picking this up and part of it is, is it's American society. It has some clear racial and ethnic divisions that no matter how I look, no matter that I was born in this country, how I speak that I am not ever going to be considered fully white American, even though I may look it. I am not, and I'm not going to be embraced by American society in that way and so I grew up as an other, I grew up in the margins, even though I may look a certain way. Where I grew up, where I live, where I work. No, there are clear divisions in this country as to who fits where, and no matter how much we would want to I actually never have felt like, Oh, I want to be white American and I want to fit in like that. It just has not been attractive to me, right. And so I think that that's part of also that identity, you know, knowing that you are also and you are more and you are whole in this other way. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, riffing off that I'll say to that like with students I don't know if you feel this way nor am I like with students in the point a program but now there's this generation, and there probably was before too but I'm seeing it more now, where young people who look Latino are seeing that right, and are therefore judged in that way or treated in the world as such. But they inside they don't they might not speak Spanish, or they might not know much about the country of origin that their parents or grandparents or great grandparents are from. It's this kind of conundrum, you know, and they say like, I'm, I want to know more about my family's history and culture and language but I'm embarrassed to ask where I'm ashamed, like people come up to me and talk to me in Spanish because I look like they speak Spanish and they'll talk for five minutes and then I just say like, I don't speak Spanish, and then they're like, and walk away you know and so they're like, how do I. It's a unique intersection of being right because you're being addressed and judged and stereotyped and treated for being Latin X Latino Latina and then. At the same time you you actually aren't even embracing or holding a lot of that culture and identity. So, it's interesting I'm curious to see what's going to happen but I think that's why we need more texts more, more, more, more stories to pass on. And in some cases to straight up like teach like this is, this is what it is like. Yeah, I think that it will be interesting, but I don't know like in point that are all the students. You can't of course, comment on all of them, you know, but in your experience working with my students like do you do you find that there's that longing to understand more about one's culture. Yes, absolutely and and I want to I want to shout out Michelle Gonzalez who's in the room and in the chat because she is one of our point the instructors you're at Las Positas Michelle I believe. Yes. And so, the point the project is a transfer preparation program there's also a high school component. It's at over 60 colleges in California, over 50 high schools in the state it's been around for over 40 years. And so now expanding to Texas and Washington states go sponsored by the University of California and the California Community Colleges. I've been teaching with the students.  And so yes as Michelle is saying yes, went that they're the longing is real. I've seen a shift in it. In my students, you know, there's a lot of Mexican students but now there's more Central American students, a lot more students who have come from Central America as unaccompanied minors and have made their way, we're now making their way into my classrooms and so we can't as Michelle says in the chat we can't be scrutinized to this monolithic lens as Latinx peoples. And so that's the experience I'm having in Fuente as a point the educator. But for those that are like me, children of immigrants, or maybe those who don't speak the language there, there's such a longing and desire because again we live in a country that does not accept you as a whole person unless you are ex a certain type of person right. And so we have to seek our own survival and our wholeness in any many ways to our multiple identities this being just one one slice of that pie. I notice that there are lots of questions in the chat and we probably should transition to Q&A. But before we do that, I'd like to quickly say something about the sponsors for this program. And we've talked about point they Jen I'd love for you to talk a little bit about Latinx and publishing. And then I'll talk about miss and cinnamon girl. And then we'll go to questions. Okay, definitely. So Latinx and publishing is a phenomenal organization. It's a few years old. It started with a group of Latinx professionals and publishing just kind of hanging out after work networking. And it's grown into this 501c3 it's a wonderful organization that has mentorship programs, you know, conversations on Twitter social media, Instagram lives. And I think their main goal is to pull the curtain back on what it, what it takes and what it's like to be a professional in the publishing landscape right now for for Latinx people. The numbers of Latinx editors and agents are very low abysmal. So this program really helps to nurture and mentor this community so that you can not just survive in New York publishing right but thrive and really help pull your Latinx voices into the landscape so they're they're a great organization definitely check them out Latinx and publishing. And a couple of additional sponsors cinnamon girl is a leadership development organization that empowers girls to be visionaries in our for our world today. And cinnamon girls, cinnamon girl provides guidance supports girls of color to prepare for college and graduate school. And finally, Mesa refuge, which is a writing residency and beautiful point race station. It provides solitude and space for writers want to write about social equity and the environment and social justice, and it offers its own programs as well. So check them out. I just want to shout out to my condo and Vona, because these are writing programs, if there are young people or old people, whoever is out there who wants to write people of color, check out these programs. So I'm going to give you guys voices of our nation and that's where I met Jen, my condo is a writing program out of Texas where I met Norma and started by Sandra cisneros. It's a, these are wonderful programs to engage in, engage in writing, learn on and thrive. So I'm going to give it to Laura to, you know, to deal with some of the questions in the chat. Pam is going to read out some of the, all right, thank you. Great. We have a, we have a question from Elaine Ellison, as bilingual authors, how do you decide when to use Spanish in your English essays and poetry and English in your Spanish works. How do you provide enough context for readers to understand, or just assume they will, or should understand what goes into those word choices. I mean, I'll share that I, for me it's, there's a couple factors. One is the sound in the map of the world that I read tonight. It's clear that I am speaking in Spanish with Araceles in the library. And so but the text is all in English the dialogue, but there's a moment where she says, you're so free. And I thought about writing that in English, I suffered, but I couldn't, I couldn't commit to that in my mind and in my heart, it's Josephine, and the sound of that is what, what factored into that as well. Other times it's, for instance, if a daughter, if a mother is saying to her daughter, Miha, right, which is very common. I hear it as Miha, I can't be any other way and she says literally my daughter passed me the ketchup or whatever it is. It's like so literal that it just is like, it hurts my ears so I make choices off that and lastly I'll say that there will be times where I think readers who don't understand Spanish might not get it entirely. But I hope that from context clues they'll be able to from, but also, there are many times where I've read words in French or German or, you know, peppered into the English landscape that I, I don't get. But I feel like I still absorb the meaning of the passage if that makes sense. In poetry. Well, I'll speak for myself when I use. I, I, I very rarely will translate I speak English and Spanish and so when I write a poem. I write it as I hear it in my head. As it comes to me as a bilingual speaker and so, you know as a poem I wrote, I was thinking about the other day. Where, you know, and then he asked me about yes it is as if asking me, can it is right. That's how I hear it. That's how I write it, I do not italicize my Spanish, I think it's pretty clear if you're reading an English text that this next phrase is in Spanish I can italicize it for you. I'm more of a, as a poet, I'm thinking about words and the use of language and they how they sound. And as Michelle, again, my point they calling and actually Michelle's also writer she's a memoirist. She's the author of spit boy rule like you want to learn about her life as a female Chicana in a punk band. And she says, as she says, so, so right. I, if you, if you poetry requires a kind of engagement with it that I feel is different from prose. I feel like when I read a poem, even if it's half a page. It's, it's asking me to spend time with it. And some poems. So, I mean, it's going to require me to spend time with it. And if there are words in there in another language, we're going to Google them. It's going to be worth it for me to look it up and I do this often you know when I read Vietnamese poets or African poets or that these other languages are in there and they are just as valid and I don't feel any kind of need to translate because my audience is very wide. And, and I hope that if my poem engages you, you will spend a little bit of time with it and have curiosity for any words that that might not necessarily be familiar to you. But you know, but there's enough context that you'll, you'll get a feeling for it but that's my approach to using Spanish in my writing and using both languages. We have time for one more question. Well, could you talk perhaps so I know you did mention mention it earlier, but perhaps you could talk a little more about how your children or younger generation are dealing with these issues. You meant I think one of you mentioned son who felt like it sounded so he felt like he was worried that he did not look like he did not look Latino enough. Yeah, and is this something is this something that is that many do you think a lot of people in the younger generation field they feel defensive about who they are, how they identify. Do you want to guess that Jim. Yeah, sure. I mean, our older son older is eight years old and when when he was 15 months, we, we put him in an immersion Spanish immersion daycare preschool here in Boston, and we were so proud of this decision right we had researched people and all the teachers were mostly Latinas and we felt like so proud. He immersed in this language, and we were surprised because when he started all of the he was the only Latino boy there. And all the other kids were hot and red haired and white, and it was like, Oh, I didn't think about that, you know, because these were families who were really valuing Spanish bilingual children and their parents professors or doctors and use Spanish in the workplace and they thought we'll put our children in this Spanish inversion. So at that moment, I had to really think about how languages yoked to culture and identity. And I, I had never crossed my mind that my son would learn Spanish in the school and not be around Latino children. And that's when it kind of first came up for us. He and my other son do not look alike. Our eight year old has dark skin dark eyes dark hair like me, but our three year old looks like my husband, long curls, blue eyes, fair skin. And it's going to be very interesting. It already is to see how they both are treated and navigate the world. And, you know, I've been like looked at as my younger son's nanny, and but not the older one you know he's mine, and they're both mine. I was there, you know, so it just feels like we're to write about, but I don't know what you think. I mean, I don't think there's one clear answer to that. What is it, I can't speak for the younger generation.  And, you know, fortunately, California has now passed, you know, ethnic studies will be a high school graduation requirement the California State universities are making ethnic studies a graduation requirement community colleges are as well. Why because our previous generation is my generation current generation, we are still not seen. We do not see ourselves we do not see a mirror in our educational system. And so, you know, we, we, we have to create media to see ourselves and, and I do believe that that social media has created this opportunity for content for for everyone of any age not those young people. Who is who is pastor what's his name was on his roller skates I love him to create contact where we can see ourselves. I remember going to the library when I was in high school, I was a senior in high school and I had never read an author. Yeah, yeah. And I went to the Richmond public library in Richmond, California, and I went to the section that this was teeny tiny, and I the only reason I picked up this book was because we shared the same last name and it was this new suit. Right. And I don't know which book to pick of these 10. I'm going to go for the one that has my similar last name. I don't know where to start. Listen, as human beings. We have this desire to know self to explore and understand self, and we need those mirrors and if the mirrors are not there. We create them and a lot of young people are doing that. Now, the dreamers movement, the undocumented students created a very interesting narrative over, you know, 15 years ago, however long it was, they claimed American this because claiming American this meant maybe we can get a dream past may and here we are 20 years later and there still is no dream on the DACA is still in danger. Okay, so our undocumented youth are still fighting to say I belong here, I belong here. And so there's a duality in saying I belong here. That does not mean I don't also belong there. Yeah. Yeah, I love that both and not either or. Yeah. Great. Well, if there are no more questions in the chat, I just want to say this has been such a rich conversation and both of your writing is just gorgeous. It's such a treat and an honor to have you all with us today at Mechanics Institute. We are celebrating this month, a national Hispanic Heritage Month. And I think this has just been a great way to explore identity heritage that informs us in our present moment and our present selves and also moves us forward into the future. And this country has got a long way to go in terms of understanding and accepting the diversity that we are that we are a country of so many different groups, heritages and identities. And that's what makes us a great country as far as I'm concerned. I also want to invite the pointe students to come to Mechanics Institute we are the libraries open we do have tours and anyone that's new to us. I see a lot of names there on the zoom so please look at the website we do have in person tours of the Mechanics Institute we have this gorgeous library in international chess club we have ongoing programs, some of which are on site and some still on zoom, but we do offer free tours. And we'd love to invite you to come and see us and see our website and see what other programs we have for writers, and also for enjoying literature. And I want to thank Jennifer DeLeon from Boston, and Norma Liliana Valdez who's in Oakland, and solid compost from San Francisco, who's been our wonderful moderator today and host, and all of you out there that have joined us so thank you again, and we'll, we'll see you next time. Thank you. Thank you everyone. Bye.


The Damcon, straight out of Camp Beeringham Way, January 15th, 2023. The Damcon stands for Danish Contingency and we've been doing this march for 50 years. It usually is about 25 kilometers. Today we did 22. And you need to wear a backpack, weighing 10 kilos or 22 pounds. The first marcher came across the finish line with no one close behind. A little while later, the first female finisher arrived. Wherever Danish personnel is deployed, you can do the Damcon march. With muddy boots and plenty of enthusiasm, more than 500 participants wrap up another Damcon.


Hey, good morning once again. Thank you all for joining. I'm good to see you. I hope you all are doing well Nina, hi. You're doing well. Okay Great We've come to the last session a section of The chapter of the course holiness You can Turn in your notes to the last section called the overcoming life Or overcoming the flesh document the PDF that you have We concluded with The chapters on repentance and the last class So we again we've started with the content of the holiness of God understanding his holiness his desire to see has as holy And then as a passing Passing section to this main section the overcoming life. We looked at Repentance the importance of repentance. How do we repent? Etc. Etc. Right so all of that is God's desire To see as holy to walk in holiness Right. So this section overcoming the flesh is a more Practical way on how do we live a holy life? Right. How do we live a holy life and the importance of that? because from section one and section two especially in Including the topic on repentance. It is God expressing his desire To us and again, you see the beauty of God and this is that we see that he is holy and In the first section we saw that he wants us to be holy He desires us to be holy and he's expressed his desires through repentance But it's just and again, he doesn't stop at expressing his desire now a lot of us can express our desires saying, okay This is my desire for you And not do anything about it Right, but God is not like that. He said this is my desire for you and Here I have made so many ways for you to you know Walk in that walk in holiness And so he has made he has made it absolutely possible for us in is not like He's He said, okay live a holy life and not given us any You know pathway to live a holy life. So but that's what the section is all about. Okay. Are you all with me? Yeah, okay But today by the way will be the last lecture and most of the points that we look at today is very fundamental very basic Is like something that you would have all heard and been taught on you yourself would have taught About this thing. So it's that fundamental and that's it's that basic but I I think this has been added here as a reminder, you know and Sorry You want pen Okay And so there's a pastor's pastor Ashish also has a sermon series on Called the overcoming life From two years ago, I think if I'm not mistaken But you can just if so we are going to swift through these Chapters, okay, we're not necessarily going to go too deep into it But if you would like to go more much more deeper, please refer to the sermon notes That is available on the website and also the sermon series on Overcoming and there he addresses a lot more in depth in terms of overcoming anxiety overcoming emotions that destroy What do I mean by overcoming emotions that destroy for example like anger? Right those are anger without any control or unrighteous anger You know So he's spoken about topics like that and the sermon notes are much more in detail but But we are not going to go in depth of all those things, okay, but simply because it's it's very fundamental We all understand it And hence so okay, let's go the overcoming life the living victorious Lee over the flesh the world and the devil, okay the overcoming life I had written something down long back This is I thought I'd read it So it was birthed out of this question I have failed God Is this going to stop me from experiencing God? That was the question I have failed That means I have backslidden or I have sinned and You know, I have done something that does not please him. Is this going to stop me from experiencing? God, okay.  We come to God because he perfects us His presence is not a gift for those who that are holy. It is a gift that makes us holy Coming to Jesus quickens us with love for him makes us able to hear him It makes us able to obey him Independence Independence is the root of all sin when man fell is because they lack the power to overcome Many times the desire to overcome both are symptoms of Independence it is not being dependent on God Abiding in Christ is the issue If we depend on him we will be free from the symptoms of independence Empowerment to love him our empowerment to obey him our desire to desire him our desire to want him and obey him comes from our dependency on him Language of dependency is adoration do not let the failure block you from coming to Jesus. I don't know why I wrote this I kept it but I Didn't know it would come in handy today, but anyways the point is Overcoming right overcoming life overcoming the flesh overcoming the world It's very important that we immediately understand that we need to be dependent on God Not independent Right, okay, I am going to try this by myself. I'm going to know in my own strength I'm going to overcome the issues of the flesh and the issues of the world or this temptation. I'm struggling with this addiction I'm going to you know Go, you know Seeking professional help is always advisable You know, you will never hear that, you know, any of the associate pastors at APC say, okay, don't go to doctor Don't go to professional You know therapy sessions and whatnot we advise that so all of that is good, but at the same time Strike a balance Never forget the importance of depending on who Jesus is right and who God is right. We have a medical condition Go to the doctor And continue taking the medicines that has been prescribed to you at the same time believing for a miracle Right believing that he is Jehovah Rafa that he's still our healer Understand what I'm saying, right? And so while we do what we can You know That doesn't mean we don't make an effort to overcome the flesh I want you to understand the difference between independence and Making an effort Okay, I want you to clearly understand the difference between independence in the in independence It's there's a sense of arrogance there. I can do it by myself like I don't need you Right I'm financially independent. I don't need to ask my father money anymore This is like, why should I why should he give me money? I am earning now, you know But at the same time as a son You have this posture in your heart that there's a privilege and an honor in in knowing how to receive from the father Particle son understood that The old son was a little, you know, he he didn't quite get it You understand what I'm saying and so that's what this whole chapter the section is all about is that first thing We need to know is that overcoming a life we need to be dependent on God When I say God and all the trinity, right? The Holy Spirit empowers us and strengthens us to overcome life And so but that's what we're going to be looking at in this the section The first point you might see there is everyone who was born of God are over overcomes Everyone who is born of God over comes as simple as that first John chapter 5 Always remember this verse first John chapter 5 verse 1 and verse 4 it says whoever Believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God Right, if you could just take that first section whoever believes that Jesus is Christ Those first that that section has been used so many times in the scriptures in the New Testament, right? If you believe you're going to in Jesus Christ You're going to have eternal life if you believe in the Jesus Christ and believe in your heart and confess with your mouth You will be saved All right, you have salvation you've been justified by faith etc etc, right? And now here we see that who believes that Jesus is the Christ we are born of God Okay, and And everyone who loves him who begot also loves him Who has begotten of him verse 4 says for whatever is born of God? Overcomes the world and This is the victory that has overcome the world our faith Our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, okay, again, you see we are dependent on him Right, we are his heir right born of God with the children We are his children and and just by that fact by that truth We are overcomers of the world, okay? So overcome means to conquer to have victory over to gain mastery over. That's what overcome means to conquer Okay, another verse in another translation or version sorry in CEV and GMB says every child of God can defeat the world and Our faith is what gives us this Victory is so beautiful, isn't it every child of God can defeat the world and our faith It's so crucial right our faith is so fundamental to so many other aspects of Christian life right again Romans chapter 5 verse 1. We've been justified by faith, right? Ephesians chapter 2 verse 8 it is by faith again and grace that we are saved, right? And here we see it is our faith that gives us the victory It's just simply believing or a childlike faith GMB version because every child of God is able to defeat the world and we win the victory over the world by means of our Faith okay, so a very simple point to remember is that if you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ Do you guys believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? Okay, very nice Good otherwise we would have had to have a little bit of a discussion after class An or to call or something okay It simply says we are overcomers and you we need to realize that Right if Jesus with you in you and you know you are overcomers There is nothing impossible You know for you to that you cannot overcome Right, we are more than conquerors a greater is he that is who is in me than he that is in the world Right that means we are overcomers We are children of God and that should give us the courage to overcome the flesh the world our addictions our shortcomings Whatever it is that is not of God Are you with me? But okay, let's move on our salvation includes abundant life Our salvation Includes abundant life. Okay, so now we know we've realized and we've learned that if you're born of God, we are overcomers Right and so when we give your life to God We called it salvation right that moment, right? We've made that prayer and whatnot So at that moment you're accepting the Lord Jesus Christ into your heart and when you do that You are saying okay to abundant life that has been made available to us through Lord Jesus Christ Right John chapter 10 verse 10. It's a I will never forget this scripture not because it's easy to remember John 10 10 But it is one of the first scriptures that was I Was taught to me or emphasized during my teen. I used to attend the teens fellowship Eight standard nine standard 10th 11th, but I don't know what 14 or 15. I think I was The teens fellowship teacher. His name was a Rishi. I still remember John 10 10. He said, you know The thief comes to steal kill and destroy But he came to give life life in abundance and the word life that is used there is the Greek word is Zoe All right, that means God kind of life God kind of life that should mean something to us Every time we read those scriptures. We have to be very careful not to lose the significance and the wonder of these words It's absolutely fine to just pause and think God kind of life What does that mean? Right we Can we fathom something like that? But that's what the scripture says that he came to give life life in abundance life in abundance So one John chapter 5 verse 11 and 12 says and this is the testimony That God has given us eternal life and this life is in his son and He who has the son has Life and he who does not have the son of God does not have life simple as that right It's not complicated isn't it we have Jesus we have eternal life We have got kind of life through his son and if you don't you don't Okay, that's one John chapter 5 verse 11 and 12 We know this chapter of the verse in John chapter 1 verse 4 and 5 it says in him was life and the life was the light of Men and the light shines in darkness and the darkness did not Comprehend it. Okay in him was life and the life was the light of men very interesting See how life is likened or synonymous with light Okay, give me some of the scriptures That the Bible uses or tells us And how it defines God What are some of the scriptures used in the Bible to define God? Okay, not in the context of light some of the scriptures that says God is Where? Okay, where where? So, okay, let's do John chapter 4. We see that God is spirit Right in one John 1 8 we see that God is light One John 4 8 say God is love Actually, right God is true, right Okay, so things like that in one John 1 8 is a God is light And then also one of the I ams in from Gospel of John Jesus is I am the light of the world In other words, you could also be saying he is the life Right, so in him was life and that life was the light of Men, okay, can someone read probs chapter 16 verse 15, please 1615 The light of the things faces life Thank you in the light of the Kings face Is life Probs chapter 16 verse 15. Yeah in the light of the Kings face is life That's just the first half of the worst. I even like the second half. It talks about the latter rain, right? He will come like the latter rain, I think it says I'm not sure His favor is like the Loud of springs, right? Okay This awesome, but we look at that Later, okay, so but you see the first half it says in the light of the Kings face is Life again light and life. Okay, and then it goes on to say the favor, right? His favor Thank you, so in numbers chapter six ends the whole chapter ends with what is known as the Aaronic blessing May the Lord bless you and keep you and make his Face to shine upon you, right and give you and give you He's that ends with that. Okay. May his may lift up his countenance So you see again may is May is May's favor that and it goes on to say like that, right? So may the Lord bless you and keep you and cause his face to shine And because someone understood that in the light of the Kings face His life Okay You're with me. Okay. So here we go once we understood that if you're born of God, we are overcomers And because we're overcomers Abundant life has been made available to us through Jesus Christ, right? And then our salvation includes victory as we are still talking about salvation But our salvation also includes a life of victory. Okay, so Romans chapter five was 17 It says for if by one man's offense death rained through the one Much more those who receive abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness Will rain. Okay will rain. So that's the other word for Overcome and overcomer, right? He's he's a conqueror Conqueror simply means what he's raining. Okay, Alexander the great He conquered half the world they say right that means he had he was raining over Half of the known world back then right so that's what rain is Sovereign Sovereign is what? Sovereign Single rain That's what it means When we say God is sovereign that he is single rain That means there is no other rain after him. There was no other rain before him His kingdom reigns for ever and ever Right in Christology you'll learn more and beautifully about The throne of God right he will give he will give his son the throne of David and his kingdom will last forever and ever And ever right so beautiful and so and and you see that when it says that we've been given God kind of life And our salvation includes a life of victory in this abundant life that the scripture is talking about that has been made available to us There is this component of the gift of righteousness That helps us rain in life through the one that's very important through the one Jesus Christ right we're constantly dependent on him Okay, it's very interesting to in this in this version of the Bible and KJV for it says for it for if by one man's offense What is offense by one man's offense death rained Sorry Okay offense Have you been offended with someone so that's what I'm asking what does that mean Okay, so we all kind of understand what offense means in a ways that okay at some point in time in life we've been offended by someone Yeah, okay, so Or you took offense by what was said to you or what by what was done to you Right and and that led to bitterness and whatnot so the Hebrew word for offense is two words It is trap and trip Trap T. R. A. P.  It's that means you've been caught Okay, and it also means another word used for offenses trip Like if someone is running hasn't have you been tripped Has someone tripped you and then you fell down Right it causes what a sense of not just falling down in pain. It causes a sense of embarrassment Right, okay, no, oh his fellow fellow and everybody loves it like hey, he fell You know, it's not just hurt. It's the shame of falling down, right? And so when Peter tries to tempt Jesus says they don't go to the cross Jesus looks at him and says, you know, why do you offend me? That's the word used there.   Okay So be careful with Satan's trap Okay So this is booked by John Biver called offense It's bait of Satan You know what a bait is b a i t bait is something that they when they were fishing In here we use a bait like worms, right? We put to the hook. That's a bait Is it like that mean you're learning the fish in and the fish also comes Thinking other like wow nice meal Little does the fish know it's a bait like a trap You're following. Okay. Let's move on In all of this In all of this living and overcoming the world overcoming the flesh or living a victorious life Jesus is our model Jesus is our model. It's it's wonderful to have role models in life It it's nice. It's important. I think To to look up to an individual or a man of God and whatnot, but not so much in a That you put them in a pedestal that you worship them and that you think that they cannot fall Right. It can happen to anyone Yes How many great men and women of God that we know of and so well So they're successful in their ministries Right is I haven't had a great fall to say the least Yes, but Jesus Very clearly says I have overcome the world And so there's nothing can go wrong Looking up to Jesus and keeping and making him our role model Right. He walked in absolute mastery Right and in command over the world and the flesh and John 14 30 He says I will no longer talk much with you for the ruler of the world is coming and he has nothing in me and simply means to say that He has nothing against me. He has no offense against me.  There was nothing that was available, but it's just the message Learned the song and six standard my first youth camp or teens camp that I ever went Sources your walk talks and your talk talks, but your walk talks louder than your talk talks It simply says accent means it speaks louder than words. That's what it is. Isn't it? Okay, so let's move on to keep so in this section we've learned that we are born of God if we are born of God We are overcomers and then we also in at salvation. We've been given this abundant life this God kind of life Right and in that we see that Jesus has overcome the world and that is the kind of life we have and we accept him That we've been offered we've been given and so we've been encouraged to live a God kind of life That means a life that is overcome the world or good Following any questions? Let's move on to the second chapter So we have established that every believer can live an overcoming victorious life over the flesh the world and the devil And what is the basis to live that life off? Okay, now again, I keep emphasizing this so many times. So forgive me for being repetitive. Okay So salvation we've been justified Our legal position has been changed from a sinner to been set free We are set free. We are no longer under the bondage. Yes But we have to continue to live this life We're living in this body So I still have the capacity to commit the acts of sin.  So don't go to sleep. Okay, like okay How many times I've heard about the cross of Jesus Christ? Why do I need to learn about it again? You know, on the time I was born in a Christian family. I know there's one cross in my church I cross in my ears is a cross on my neck You know, why do we have to talk about it? But the cross of Jesus Christ The old rugged cross Not to not too long ago. We celebrated good Friday, right? Yeah, I mean We talk about the cross so much we we we again, I'm not sure how many of us actually pondered about it What did it take Jesus a man who was absolutely flogged He was ripped he was flogged right and if you've seen the movie passion of Christ, they show like to a certain extent The accuracy of the flogging and that the equipments that was used Where the end of the hooks it had nails that can pull the flesh apart And and and most of our crosses that we have in our churches are very very nicely smooth and with polish And you know that like okay, there's no flaw at all But if you've worked with wood a little bit of an old wood as well if any of those small quick goes in It's very painful and it takes a long time for you to remove just a small piece of wood Right and we don't know I don't think the cross that Jesus carries was so smooth It will have been very very heavy right and and him being dehydrated from everything from the flogging the pain and what not To know that that is what Jesus went through so that you and I can have a God kind of life This fundamental thing can never get boring it can never get outdated No wonder that there is power in the cross of Jesus Christ They are with me right just if we could just understand what it what was accomplished on the cross You know we can spend time talking about just those three words it is finished The Greek word for that I want you to actually explore that I want you to actually explore that in the Greek word again has three meanings to it Okay, which we're not going to look into it now yeah it starts with T so the cross of Jesus Christ So there are two important basis that is established or two things that I emphasize on the cross of Jesus Christ Is our identity in Christ right and the who we are so what what is the power of the cross and and our identity in him So very quickly on the cross the power of sin was broken I want you to write this down or highlight it okay on the cross the power of sin was broken Satan was defeated and we were redeemed three things Okay on the cross the power of sin was broken sin where are your shackles death where is your sting right the power of sin over us was broken Satan was defeated and we were redeemed okay redeemed that's what that word is again Deemed is simply bought redeemed is we bought again redeemed right he's a redeemer if you read about the story of if you read the book of Ruth Kinsman redeemer we see that right okay he comes and redeems and so yeah he is a redeemer when we say the Lord is our shepherd We are also saying that he is a redeemer why because a sheep was an asset okay a sheep was an asset that means it's a property And if property is not given to you freely unless you get it from the next the you know they're a descendant or you're inherited You have to go and purchase it right and so a sheep was purchased and here when we say the Lord is our shepherd that means we are also saying I'm his sheep That means I have been purchased brought at a price redeemed right so those are the three things that happened a few scriptures that's been highlighted About the cross where the power of sin is broken as Romans chapter 6 verse 6 to 7 and 14 it says knowing this that our old man was crucified with him That the body of sin might be done away with that we should no longer be slaves of sin For he who has died has been freed from sin verse 14 for sin shall not have dominion over you for you are not under law but under grace Okay we are no longer we are no longer under law but under grace Okay so once again that that scripture that verse that the last second half of that verse is so important Now in the old covenant as we know it we were given the law Right it was a bunch of the do's and don'ts Okay what started off with 10 commandments in Exodus chapter 20 and Deuteronomy chapter 5 it's a repetition right then commandments was given At the end of it by the end of doing Malachi times there were about 613 laws did you know it right 613 that's all inclusive of mosaic laws as they would call it it just kept building and building and building 613 laws and the laws was simply to say that more than to just tell people that not to do these things It was to show that how it is impossible for you to attain righteousness by yourself It's said that okay you're going to be dependent on you for you to do certain things On your works but grace comes and says like no work is finished it has been done for you on your behalf And so you we don't earn salvation it but it is a gift right of grace that has been that's been given to us so The power of sin is broken our old man is crucified with him Okay Satan is defeated Hebrew chapter 2 verse 14 in as much then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood He himself likewise shared in the shame that through death he might destroy him who had the power of death that is the devil He himself likewise shared in the same that through death he might destroy who had the power of death that is the devil So on the cross the power of sin was broken Satan was defeated we've been redeemed Colossians chapter 1 verse 13 and 14 He has delivered us from the powers of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the son of his love In whom we have redemption through his blood the forgiveness of sins Right and the word redeemed is elaborated in the notes it goes on to say that a ransom was paid for the purchase of our complete freedom Okay that means someone came and paid a ransom or your debt and that you are set free My wife she's a she's a Hindu convert and you know first her sister got saved and then you know she started going to church because the sister started going to church But then she always tells me that how the song Lord I lift your name on high You know made her think and caused her to actually give her life to God And the Lord I lift your name on high is a song that I've been listening I've heard from my childhood like third standard fourth standard But again it's like a to a normal person who was born into this Christian family who's her worth There's so many songs that we lose the wonder we lose the significance And the value of those songs or the message of the cross is sometimes most often seen by those who've lacked it all their life The chorus of the song says you came from heaven to earth to show the way from the earth to the cross My debts to pay from the cross to the grave and grave to the sky And Lord I lift your name on high you know it's such a simple message of the gospel and we see that in Romans chapter 1 verse 16 You know the gospel doesn't need any help it is the power of God and Paul says I am not ashamed of the gospel but it is the power of God Of salvation Yeah, we don't need to spice things up. We don't need to add anything Right it is it is what it is and that has brought us our freedom our redemption Forgiveness through his blood and forgiveness of sin, right? So we have been So this is the basis the cross of Jesus Christ is our basis to living an overcoming life to know just to know that sin has no power over us The devil has no power over us. He's been defeated We got to live out of that an identity in that way from the place knowing that he has no right over me No, right over me.  Right, okay And finally the last section of that chapter emphasizes on our identity right our new life in Christ So second Corinthians chapter 5 or 17 says therefore if anyone is in Christ He is a new creation all things have passed away behold all things have been come new That is our identity We are no longer subject to sins right we are no longer subject to any bondage or any addiction All of that is a lie. It's an offense. Remember it's a trap and trip Okay that the devil uses So we don't have to live our lives of false identity So this is one of the keys these are the keys to living an overcoming life Okay, I will pause here. We'll take a break and we'll resume the next hour Thank you


Hi and welcome to the session. I am Asha and I am going to help you with the following question which says find the domain and range of the following real functions. First is fx is equal to minus mod x. Let us now start with the solution and let us define a function gx is equal to mod x which is defined as x if x is greater than or equal to 0 and minus x if x is less than 0. So the graph of this function is this is x axis while x is this is x dash this is y dash. So the graph of mod x will be this will be a given a function x is equal to minus of mod x we have to find the domain of f and range of f. Now as we can see here fx which is minus of mod x can be written as minus of function gx. The set of all those values which x can take and that is set of real numbers and range the set of values which the function can take and that is from minus infinity to close to double 0. So this completes the solution hope you enjoyed it take care and have a good day.


Satchin Deshmukh working as assistant professor in the department of civil engineering of vulture and stuff technology of Solapur. Today we are going to learn the impact of jet on stationary flat plate and as well as inclined plate. At the end of this topic you will be able to find the force exerted by a fluid jet on stationary flat plate and inclined plate. The application of this impact of jet is particularly in the pelton wheel we can see. But before that we will go through the introduction of this impact of jet, a jet of fluid emerging from a nozzle, nozzle when the diameter is reduced and a jet is coming out. The nozzle has some velocity and hence it possesses a certain amount of kinetic energy. If this jet strikes on the obstruction placed in its path, it will exert a force on the obstruction. This impressed force of that particular jet is known as impact of jet. In this session we are going to see two different cases of force exerted by free jet on flat plate normal to the jet and flat plate inclined at angle theta to the jet have been seen. Now just I told that one of the application of the jet impact is used to generate electricity. Impact of jet is used to rotate the turbine particularly the pelton wheel in the generator. The water jet is applying force tangential to the wheel, see here tangential to the wheel, the tangential forces of the water jet generate moment, generate moment it rotates generate moment or torque on the wheel to its maximum value and therefore increase the mechanical energy of the pelton wheel. The rotational energy when it is going to rotate the rotation energy of the wheel is then converted into electrical energy, this figure of the pelton turbine, this jet which is going to impact on these cups mounted on the wheel and it rotates. The main parts are given penstock, runner, then casing, bucket, nozzle, then the hand of the wheel, spear and water jet. Here also you can see this figure how the jet is applied clearly and it rotates. To predict the output of a pelton wheel and to determine its optimum rotational speed we need to understand how the deflection of jet generates a force on the buckets and how the force is related to the rate of momentum flow in the jet. So particularly when we are going to experimentize it, we measure the force generated by jet of water striking flat plate or inclined plate and compare the results with the computed momentum flow rate in the jet. First of all we will discuss about the flat plate normal to the jet. See here it is a pipe to the pipe, nozzle is fixed and from this nozzle the jet of water which is striking to this plate, this is the normal plate. Now we can see here after striking the water goes along this plate, normal to this plate is the v is velocity. Now we will find the expression for this, d is the jet diameter v is the velocity issued from that nozzle of the jet, a is area of cross section, w is specific weight of the fluid, m is mass it may express now it may express as wav upon g, mass is wav upon g and discharge is area that is pi d square by 4 into velocity. Then the force exerted by the jet on the plate in the direction normal to the plate is determined as minus f because the negative sign shows the force exerted by the plate on the jet on the opposite direction x direction.   Second condition see here same the pipe, the nozzle then the jet but the plate is inclined but the plate is inclined. Now here the jet goes over here this line here we have to find out fx and fy two different see here fx and fy two different forces we are going to find out this is a v sin theta v sin theta this is the inclined plate. Here theta is the angle between jet and plate m is the mass of the fluid wav upon g where all the notations are same as defined in the previous one. The component of the velocity of the jet v sin theta this one v sin theta therefore by the applications of the impulse momentum equation the thrust exerted by the jet in the direction normal to the plate is expressed as now f is equal to as previous one as we have taken for the normal that is wav upon g here the velocity component v sin theta and the final is 0. So f is equal to wav into vv square sin theta upon g keep in mind f is equal to wav square sin theta upon g but we have to calculate the fx and fy as these are the two different components see here fx and fy these are two components that we have to find out. The dynamic thrust f is resolved in two components that is fx which is parallel to the direction of the jet and fy normal to the direction of jet when it is parallel it is sin theta induced f sin theta that is wav square sin theta upon g and when it is normal to the direction of jet it is f cos theta so wav square sin theta cos theta upon g we will see the one problem on this we will solve one problem that is a jet of water 75 millimeter diameter having the velocity of 20 meter per second strikes a normally flat smooth plate and find out the thrust on the plate at rest. The normal thrust on the stationary plate f is equal to wav square upon g so area of jet it is pi d square by 4 75 upon 1000 it is 75 millimeter that is why it is divided by 1000 converted into meter so area of jet is 0.00442 meter square velocity of jet it is given to us that is 20 meter per second put this value 9810 g 0.0042 into this v square upon g we get 1768 Newton that is 1768 Newton force or you can say thrust on the plate which is at rest. Similarly we can solve for when the plate is kept inclined angle is given to us we can put this values and we can find out fx and fy also. Now these are some objective type of questions for you take a pause and go through these questions very important questions these are the answers for these questions for this you can refer books which are related with fluid machinery where you can study pumps where you can study turbines so you can refer many books also you can refer the Modi set you can refer also you can refer Bansal you can refer Rajput also go through these books also thank you.


Welcome folks, we had the Dow industrials finished down 87, NASDAQ off 113, S&Ps down 20, volume wise out here, what you had, I mean percentage wise, you had the Dow down three tenths of 1%, S&Ps down seven tenths, NASDAQ down 1.4%. Now inside the NDX100, bottom line, SMHs, bottom line did get an ABC structure on the way down, this just blew away the B point, you needed 17.6 million shares coming into the close, guess what, you get 17.9 and they just loaded it up into the close, yeah folks, they blasted in the 1.5 million shares and about a heartbeat coming into that close, so those SMHs are going to lead the market down, right now the SMHs are at 101, these babies here are going to make their way down to the 85 to 86 number and if we take a look at this on a longer basis what you're going to see is that the SMHs had made the test of their highs as did the transports bottom line, now it's wide open as the lows that were established out here in December, so big number, some of the other indices out here we had gold up about 40, gold's going to need a lot more strength than it has had, what gold did do is it rejected lower price, had lighter volume, closed at 12.77, 12.79, 40 is what you want to see it over, silver up 6 cents that also rejected lower price, $14.45, notes and bonds, 10-year note down 6 ticks, 124.10, 30-year bond off 10 at 1.4912, they both back down, had light volume, building cause, they also want higher price, lower yield, I don't think we're going to see that for a few more days, but bottom line that's how they're setting up and king dollar, king dollar failed at a tie out here today, down 44 ticks, 97, 780, king dollar bottom line has continued to higher price, you had volume dying on the vine and I expect that king dollar now will back down each and every time that would be higher, king dollar can't handle price, each and every time that we back down, there's no sellers also, so the bulls and bears are going to continue fighting over king dollar. We're going to take a look at the spy, what you're going to see is that they're backing down on the swing point, your volume's contracting, that's still saying you can get another bounce out here, 283.96 in the spy, stay right there folks, come right back.


Why is the Narcissist obsessed with us? I believe that this issue is mostly to do with them, although there are some qualities of us which cause them to become obsessed with us. I have done a series of videos on the Narcissist harassing and stalking you and Narcissists are possessive and controlling. These videos time very well with this topic so please check them out. The reason why Narcissists become so obsessed with us has more to do with them than it does to do with us. They are insecure and have an inferiority complex. They have very low self-worth, self-esteem and self-belief. At the beginning of the relationship they specifically chose us for our empathic qualities. In their minds they were thinking, yes this person will give me the attention, validation and approval I crave. This person will make me feel strong and confident. They cannot validate themselves from within. This is why their self-worth, self-esteem and self-belief is so low. They require an external source to do the validating for them and that's where we come in. The problem begins once we start to see through their bullshit. We realise that they are only with us to obtain narcissistic supply and once you realise this fact you are going to find it very difficult to continue validating them. They have got it in for you right from the first narcissistic injury. Once they see that it's game over they will never see you the same way ever again. From this first narcissistic injury they are going to do whatever it takes to destroy you. They become obsessive stalkers doing everything they can to devalue, humiliate and exploit you. A normal emotionally healthy person does not experience a narcissistic injury. If you do something that hurts or offends them they will acknowledge this and then want to resolve it with you. The narcissist does not know how to do this. They cannot self reflect and they cannot resolve anything. They will become bitter and resentful. They will hold a grudge for years and never let it go. The reason for this is because the narcissist's injury creates intense hate, anger and envy within them. They don't know how to deal with their emotions so they take it out on you again and again for as long as you are around them. They don't know how to stop. They have the maturity of an emotional toddler so they will react and retaliate in a similar way. They are so competitive and think you are better than them to the point where there is not enough room for both of you in this life. So now you have to die, you must be destroyed but suddenly you realize that this tough confront and charismatic exterior was really just a mirror and an imitation of your good qualities but they don't want you to shine. They want to see you crushed and broken with nothing and no one because they are extremely hateful, angry, envious and jealous individuals. They hate your good qualities because they cannot have them. They cannot sustain them for long periods of time. This then makes them very frustrated and resentful towards you.  It doesn't matter if they have one of the same things that they are trying to destroy in your life because they are always comparing what they have with what you have and they can never measure up. They always see you as being happier and more fulfilled than they are. They see you as being more motivated and satisfied with your work than them. You have more money, your friends are genuine, your relationship partner is better looking than theirs, whatever they have it does not matter. They can never be fulfilled or satisfied with anything in life, no matter how great something is they will always take it for granted. It's like giving a hundred dollar bill to a toddler. Do you really think that toddler is going to understand and appreciate the value of that one hundred dollar bill? No, of course not. They are just going to tear it up and then move on to play with one of their toys. And it's the same thing with the narcissist. I recently did a video on how the narcissist is like an emotional toddler. They cannot be fulfilled or satisfied with anything for long, no matter how great it is. They do not have the capabilities to be generally happy or experience a deep emotional connection. But we do have the capabilities to do this and that's what makes them so mad. That's what makes them so envious of us.  They know that we have the capabilities, all of the good qualities to live a happy and fulfilling life. They know this. They are also very aware that they do not have the capabilities or good qualities to do this. So they become obsessed, trying to sabotage and destroy everything in our lives because they know that they can't build anything great in theirs. The narcissist knows that no matter how much they focus on their lives, no matter how much time, energy and effort they put into it, they will never amount to anything great.  If they knew that you would never amount to anything great, you would never find a real love and partner and have a great life. If they knew that you did not have the capabilities within you to do this, they would just leave you alone but they have no light, they cannot shine. So you should neither, that's how they see it. The narcissist has no ability to shine on their own, their light comes from external sources such as attention, validation and admiration. Well they will shine at the expense of someone else by tearing them down, they have to do this because they cannot generate their own light. All they can do is reflect back our own light, like the moon reflects the light of the sun. They know that we are different in a good way and we stand out, it is a reminder to them that they are nothing special and it triggers their inferiority complex.   That's the whole point of the fly monkeys, smear campaigns and controlled environments. To regulate the excessive attention, validation and admiration you would otherwise be receiving. Remember they are very hateful, angry and envious people, they do not want us to shine, they do not want us to be validated and admired, they have seen enough of your good life, positive qualities, hard work and attractive partners in the past. The whole purpose of their obsession and control is that they are trying to prevent this from continuing, they will become obsessed with your past and begin rewriting it. Now you are being told that you never had a good life, positive qualities, you never worked hard or had any attractive partners. Good example of gas lighting. Yes, they want you to see yourself differently, they know that you have deep self-love, they know that you self-validate and approve of yourself, but they want it to stop and that's why they will become obsessed with you to dig up any dirt they can find. Anything that makes you undesirable or not good enough, they will do everything they can to project their negative emotions onto you. I am sure you lived a good life and had many good things going on before the narcissist came in and got mad and envious. There is nothing the narcissist hates more, they remind them that they are not attractive and they are not receiving as much admiration and validation as they would like. This is why they will do whatever they can to prevent you from attracting anyone or obtaining any admiration. They develop an obsession with you so that they can find something undesirable or flawed about you or they enforce their fly monkeys and create smear campaigns. These are all designed to isolate you and prevent you from becoming your best self.