Found her fingernails under your foreskin, man. There's no other choice. Just go turn yourself in, man. Man, are we live? We have wings.  It's episode number 24 and we've got a belt of stealtha coming at you right out of Michael's basement. We're downstairs. It's three stories straight down. You have to climb down a ladder.  There's cages. There's so many cages here, man. They're empty, though, for now. Mysteriously, every episode we come down, they're empty.  I don't keep them for too long. Exactly.  We're going to reveal a secret we've been hiding from the public. There's prank call at the end.  We got PO box. We should fucking, you know what I miss doing? Reading out people's crimes and secrets.  Oh, they can't really do it discreetly. Send it to the Marty and Michael Fully Actual podcast for Matt to get. Yeah, yeah, they send it to the Fully Actual podcast Instagram, because I get them. Yeah, let's bring the secrets back.  And we haven't done a new segment for a while.  Yeah, yeah. This is the Fully Actual questions in German. Or do we need a new segment? Something fresh. Well, we're at episode 24. We've got 16 to go. Season four, we'll completely revamp it.   We've been a bit lazy there.   Because when we left you guys, we thought we'd read out something. Jack can't see emails.   OK, so again, no lonely fans. It's mad arrived and we'll literally just still, we'd only just returned from filming for the day.  And I'm going to go home and edit after this.  But we did film the Jackass promo video today. OK, they were meant to send us the trailer like early before everyone. But everything's taking a really long time now with them, even though they wanted us to post it tomorrow. We're not going to, we're not going to slander them. But they've been quite difficult. But anyway, they're like, I was like, all right, well, we're filming this morning. Like we're going to go ahead and film it because I've organized the shoot. We've gone and bought a trailer.   I love you, Greg. So we've organized it. We can't wait any longer. We got to film this because like you guys want us to post this tomorrow. Anyway, we fucking, we do it. It's not our best. So yeah, basically after we filmed it, we get an email from them saying, look, can you keep it on hold? Because we don't know with our legal team can let this blah, blah, blah, blah. After we risk our lives.   Well, how do you get off cheap? We hire to use. Yeah, same. Anyway, we go down. It is terrifying because it's so steep towards the end. We didn't realize that if a trailer falls on you, you're probably going to die. Well, I guess we should tell them what the video idea is first. So they want us to help launch the Jackass trailer.  Do you get it? Yeah.  Very good plan words. Very good. You came up with it on the spot. And then anyway, so that's the video idea. We'll see if they want us to post it. We'll see if you, it should be out by now. By the time you're listening to this, it should already have been out. So hopefully.  We're going to do another take to make it more gnarlier.  Exactly. Cause yeah, it's scary. I couldn't believe how scary trailers are. Yeah. And you get a lot of speed a lot.   Anyway, we're fucking, we've been pumping the vids out.    What website video is that right now? I don't know. It's either Julian would choose Paintball or. Oh yeah. It's either Paintball or German versus Australian households. Anyway, it's good website video, which reminds us this podcast, okay, is brought to you by our subscription website. Okay. It's this that funds all this. Okay. So if you want to support us, you can click the link in the description, get 21 days free to see if you like the videos. And if you do, you can stay on and it's like 10 bucks a month. Okay. Now that helps fund everything. All right.   It's usually like a half hour episode every week of our lives. Isn't that great, Matt?  You haven't signed up. You never will. Do you guys even have a website?  Sorry.  Anyway, this podcast is also brought to you by manscaped.com. All right.  I'll say it.  And I'm like, fuck, that's a good idea. Just go have a look. Fully actual 20. That's it. If you use that discount code, you get 20% off everything that you buy.  Right? Plus, it arrives pretty quick too, doesn't it? It arrives within days. Yeah, it might come in like that. Yeah. So if you need one, get one. Help us out. We love you.  And force versa.  Darren's coming out for the prank all later on. Come on. What else has happened? What are we doing on the weekend?  Yeah, I got around a golfing. So I was having a long time. Oh, I acted a bit too. Yeah, Matt was fucking, we need it. We're like, cause Jillian's busy editing.   It should be out later this week.  And I know, I know it's a brand deal, but like, I don't know. We try and make it. We've got to do them. It's sort of, it's essential. Yeah, especially with our reach restrictions, which is over in 10 weeks. Yeah, that's pretty exciting. Countdown. But like other than that, we're going well, everybody. Things are going well for us, all right? Let's just hope this jackass thing comes through, all right? I got done for Red Joe yesterday. You didn't have a registration? Yeah, I always forget to pay it.  Yeah, they get pretty shitty. How out was it? 24 days or something. Ooh, do you have to go to court? No. Yeah, I think it's over a month. Yeah. Four days off court. Because it started because I pulled up in a taxi zone trying to go to the PO box. Did you pay it now? No, I haven't paid it yet. Oh yeah, I have paid the Red Joe. How much was the fine? 330. Yeah, wow.   And so you parked in the taxi zone and he fined you. And then you just went about your business? Yeah, yeah.  You've done it that many times.  And I just thought, all right, you know, he doesn't need me here. So I'll just go to the PO box, which is right there. It was three meters away.  What are you doing? Get back here right now. I was like, oh my, I didn't know if you were serious because I couldn't believe that someone be that mad. It's something so small. So then I was like, dude, okay, okay. Like, are you serious? He's like, yes. Why have you left your car? I'm not done with you. I was like, okay, calm down. And then once you sat down to calm down, that's when they start shooting.   And then I got the phone out. I was like, yes, this is good.  He calmed down. I think he might have seen me use the phone after that. But fuck, man, very angry police officer. I'm sorry about your past. What did they say? You never tell anyone, no, in the history of calm down, no one's ever calmed down from being calm. It's never worked. But yeah, I wanted to hurt him.  I love how you're trying to go into the mailbox. Yeah, I knew, like, yeah, I dig down and knew he'd be like pissed off because I didn't ask for permission and I'm sorry. But anyway, we're good. Yeah, we're good. We're good. We're good. All right, let's fucking, let's read the diaries for the day. What's that? It's my secret. We have a secret to reveal later. Chewie will reveal the secret after the questions. Okay. Diary entry number 131 from Michael Corey Brookhouse. Today, I decided to throw my underwear in the bin. This particular pair had served me well over the last 50 days and had turned from bright red color to a dark brown color. It was stiff and there were crusts on it and it smelled of rotting snakes. Time to buy a brand new pair to wear for winter. And I remember that phase where Michael would buy a pair of underwear, wear them until they were no longer recognizable and cast them into the bin and buy another pair. What would your mom say? No, it was more socks that I'd do it with because I was not kicked out. I was, I had to move out at like 18 years old and fend for myself because my parents moved to another town and I didn't have a washing machine. So Greg's mom, God, she's such a lovely person. She would wash my clothes for me once every month or so. But yeah, socks, I just wear continuously and my girlfriend at the time, I'd go stay at her house with her family and her mom. She was such a cool, like she tolerated me so well.  The socks were that bad that like it just stick to my feet and then it would linger. They would literally become hard.  No. I think he is tinier. Tinier can't get tinier.  They should study your corpse. Because you seem to survive everything. But yeah, yeah, it's crusty socks. They'd be so crusty because I only had one pair of workshoes for the deli at Woolworth's and they had holes in them. So all the meat juice and chemicals would get up in through your socks and then it was just never good. How do you not have like gangrene or something because of beyond me? Cancer. Oh, I've got like cancer. Really tough feet. Yeah, now you do. Anyway, dietary number 100 from Marty. Today I found some sandwich crusts in the boy's toilet urinal while I was hiding there from the bullies at lunch. I smiled and my cheek muscles quickly weakened because they weren't used to smiling. I grabbed the crusts out of the urinal and there was only a little bit of piss on them. It felt good to have some food in my mouth again. Today was the one of the best days of my life so far.  That's so fucked. How old were you? Oh, that must have been early high school. Yeah, okay.  That's the best day of your life at 15. So far. So far. I said that. Shout out to that person who left the crusts soon. Dieter entry number 69 from Julian Tennyson Woods from Ashgrove 460 till I die. Today I'll start a fantasies about what's called tasting my own cum.  Fuck, that looks creamy.   Yeah, you stab, chug, push, stab, kiss. That is funny because that is what fucking... That actually occurred. Julian got to, wow, that's crazy. No wonder he was so keen on it.  I'm glad we could do that for you, Julian. Because yeah, there was some, I sensed a lot of eagerness from both him and Michael on that video. And that video is on the website, obviously we can't post that. But yeah, we tested to see if pineapple does make hot, spunk taste better. The results. We can't, let's not tell him. Maybe we told him last week, I swear my memory's all fish- It works. All right. Anyway, all right. That's a turn.  I guarantee you won't know about that. Well, it'll be, I like it.  Tell the PG version, please. I'm just gonna read it, how it's written, how you have written it personally. You, Matt Brown. He's like, I've got a tear.   Man, if I was a woman, that would be like, you'd be in jail right now. Well, you gotta wig on. Like a woman. Anyway. Dyer into number 888 from Matthew Gregory Brown. I belched into my pillow and lay my head exactly on the same spot. I smelled the subtle scent of the band-aids I was chewing earlier. I found them on a playground last night during my midnight stroll. As I was drifting off to sleep, my father bursts into my room. It's your brother. He's found us. Adrenaline shocked me into action and I immediately sat up, ignoring my swelling phallus. My brother had developed a strange obsession with me ever since I taught him how to masturbate when he was 10. He must have escaped from his carer and found us. I grabbed my emergency bag and followed my father downstairs. I caught a glimpse of our front lawn at the window and there, standing in the moonlight, was my brother, Queston. I fought, I fought to control my panic and ran to the back door. My father unlocked it and standing there was my brother, Queston. Queston, you need to leave! Shuttered my father. Queston pushed my father backwards and he fell onto his back. My brother stood over him and undid his fly. I had to intervene. Stop, Queston, it's me you want. Queston looked up at me and I saw that same familiar lust in his eyes. We started circling each other in the kitchen, not breaking eye contact. Looks like it's time for a fuckfest. My brother ran at me and I lowered myself and wrapped my arms around his waist and lifted him up.   He started slapping me hard. He slapped me over and over until I felt myself falling unconscious. I had to act fast.  I immediately turned and jumped on his back. I was in control now and my little brown sensed it. I had my brother in a headlock and from behind and my little brown started snaking its way out of my pants and into his. My little brown parted his cheeks and burrowed deep into his colon. I kept my grip around his neck tight. He was struggling and screaming as my hot, matte magma began filling him. After a few more thrusts, my nuts were completely emptied and I relaxed. Me and my brother stood, sweating and hurt. We shook hands. I will make you mine one day, said Queston. And with that, he left and ran straight back to his carer. I got lucky this time. But the day will come where Queston is more powerful than I. I need to move house as soon as possible. Goodbye, diary. For now, I must hide you. I shall return as soon as I am safe. He shook hands with me. His name is Queston. Hot, matte magma. Imagine that.  A gentleman's agreement. I don't remember, but dad didn't intervene at all. No, well, he got pushed over hard by the sound of it. Must have been unconscious. Queston sounds like quite a strong fellow. That was good. That was good. Very good. How long have we been traveling for my master? Oh, I've got 35 minutes on the thing, but it's probably, we're probably covered about 28. Okay, that is correct. Questions.  On our Muddy Michael Fully Actual YouTube channel. And the most liked questions will get answered first.  So ask it again next week, and hopefully we'll answer it again. Okay? So have a scroll through the comments, see which ones you like, and give the ones you like a like, the ones you want us to answer. Okay? Comment, comment, comment. Like. Show everyone. Please subscribe. Please. Please show us that you like us in some way. Please. Please. Please. Please. Just stop listening and give a like. And please subscribe. I want to see the numbers going on. Watch it twice. Yeah. Watch it twice.  I got to get back to you. I got to go. I got to get back to normal. Okay. Let's do the questions. Just a likes update for the golly bottle attempt. So this is, this is 24 hours after we posted. So yeah, what's it up to now? We're at 794. Okay. So we're nearly 800 likes after one day. And we'll probably get to like 1.2, 1.3 this week. So next week we need you guys that haven't to go back in like last week's episode. Okay.  And that is how long his golly bottle will be swelling with content. We added to it today. Oh man.  He's gag reflex. He's so loud and sensitive like. And he gets all drippy real quick. Yeah. Anyway. There was something I was going to say, but I've forgotten. Something important. Something after question time is when we're telling him about the secret. Oh, the secret. Oh, actually I can start with. We have a few guesses that might be. Oh yeah. Go on. What you think the secret is that we're keeping from you guys. Oops. There's some good. First of all, there's some good comments around around the golly bottle. Shane Wilson commented and said the background photo from last week's episode. Looks like Michael has gone 10 rounds with the golly bottle. Which got me a little giggly. And someone made a suggestion. Let me just find it. I can't remember who did it. Sorry, I can't find it. But they did say if the golly bottle doesn't get drank pretty much, you should put a little light under it and it can be the new lava lamp. I wonder if we could do that. Because you don't have to stop with one bottle. You can just continue to do this now for the rest of your life. It's a forever thing. How long has that taken to fill our bottle? I don't know.  After I got sick, I started it. That cup is starting to become really fucked. The cup that he uses to store it overnight, and then he tops the bottle up the next morning, it looks like someone's just broken an egg. Where is it? I feel like it's close. It's on that table there. Someone's broken an egg in it and the egg's dried. That's what it looks like. Oh, is that the cup? Yeah, it's the cup that he spits in at night so he doesn't have to open the golly bottle every time.   The cup looks worse than the bottle. The smell was honestly twice as bad. And it sounds like a carbonated drink when you open it. It's like, why is that happening? There's gases forming in there, man. Look at that atmosphere.  Well, I was going to hope it was all cancer. Yeah, yeah. Well, who knows? You never know until you try. Maybe it's the new Big Bang. Until you smear it on a bit of toast and pretend it's butter. Yeah, like, I'm 90% certain it would probably fix cancer. Anyway, let's continue. Oh, right. So, actually, I had four people try and guess it. So, JC Pablo guessed the secret reveal for the original footage from your brief TV show that you guys had. No, yeah, that would be cool. Some of that's on our website, some of those segments. Lake McBogan, they said the secret was that Marty and Michael would have Willy sword fights as kids. No. Not sure why that would be. No. That was just a daily thing. Nikki, she guessed that you two are secretly married and Mon is just an alibi to cover for it. And Eric Bongburger, he also guessed that it was your TV show that you were going to reveal. No, because that's not a secret. But good try, everyone. Good tries. You guys try and commend yourselves. Put your pat on the back. Put your cat on the back. Questions. Put your cat on the back. It was very good as well. Tony's trying hard. Put your cat on the back. Matt Brown.  Question. Question Brown. Is directing someone on the earth actually has that name? I hope so. More than anything in the world. Imagine if someone was actually called Question. Question? I could see that. It sounds like question with a lisp. It sounds like question with a lisp. Question. Question. Question. Question. Anyway, questions. First question is from James Byrne. Why did Marty get dealt such a shithand as a kid? Some people win. Some people lose. That's the way life flows. But now I'm a happy guy. I've got great life. I've got great people around me. And I'm just taking them day by day. Just getting it done. Getting the end of that finish line. Small on my face. I give myself a cat on the back. Cat on the back. Next question is from John Dandrea. Dandrea. It's Dandraya. Dandraya. Say it. Dandraya. He said it. Does Marty have dissociative identity disorder? Because every time I see him with a new wig, he acts different each time it gets crazier and crazier. Yeah, that's what Mona was saying. I have some sort of split personality disorder. So maybe. I don't know. Maybe we should show. There was a new one already tonight. That one that's sort of getting flustered and hitting the table a fair bit. He was new. We should get some of the footage to a psychiatrist for an episode and see what they prescribed me.    Well, if that's what the doctor says I need, then I should do that. I should be in one of those rooms. Shouldn't I do that? Shouldn't I listen to the doctor? Put on these heavy benzos. What do you think? What do you think about that? Yeah, right. That's a good excuse. They might give us fuckloads of vowels. Next question. Oh, cat on the back. Next question is from, stuff this up, Ronak Revankar? This question is for Marty, Michael and Matt. Can you guys tell us your top episodes of your podcast? He did ask for top three, but I would thought it would take too long. So I say your favorite episode each. It's so hard. It's so hard to remember because there's so many times. I did really enjoy the time Locky and Jackson came for the final episode of last season. That was a lot of fun. Yeah, that's like our highest viewed. And we're all sweating.  There's been countless heroic moments on the podcast. Some of the prank calls like the butcher prank calls made those episodes awesome. Pritchard was pretty cool. Some of the story times were pretty good. It was fun going out of those stories for you cunts. We should try and think of more because, there are more. I think we're too scared to say those ones.    Next question is from Haddon. Some of these last names get me. No, no, you got this. Pupsets. Pupsme. Pupsme. Anyway, it's from Haddon. What's the most disgusting, most foul product you've received via the PO box? Well, it depends on how you look at it.   It smelled so bad.   Yeah, it's different. Sometimes bad is good. I was still grateful. Do you know what I mean?  And that, it's interesting. It's hard to do.  Pat on the cat. Like, it takes time.  It gives yourself a cat on the back. Cat on the back. Back on the cat. A little cat on the back. Oh, that's what I was going to say. People want the segment name changes to come back. That shrill yell then reminded me. So we'll see. I might just throw them in every now and then. Yeah, when you're feeling it. Yeah, just when I'm feeling like it. Oh, what's happening? We're all laughing. We've stopped to have a laugh. Continue. Next question is from in the night, Andy. What's the long-term goal for this channel? Do you want to make it into a TV show? Continue to be a podcast? Where are you guys headed? It'd be cool to get this and just put it on radio. I don't know that radio would never play this. This is too fucked.  Imagine this on radio. It wouldn't be allowed. We just want to grow as massive an audience as we can.   Imagine the hunts. Yeah, the hunts. When you've got like 100,000 people. Yeah, just be like, ooh, and then we'd be so powerful. Imagine Spinks being so powerful you have a bad dinner at a restaurant and you say, everyone give them a bad Yelp review now.  And they're out of there. That's what we want.  No, no, I disagree. Next question is from Donut Films. He's the guy who sent us his toenails. Oh, Michael's had him in his car. Oh, has that been in my mouth? No, that was footskin. No, you put the toenails in your hair. No, I put him in my mouth. Oh, no, it was footskin. Sorry. So many things. We haven't been sent toenails to you though. Anyway.  If I send in my jar of urine, will Michael pour it into the golly bottle?  You've got to keep it all golly. Look, people, you can send in your gollies. We could add your gollies to the golly bottle, but it has to be golly. Understand that you guys probably don't understand that, but it's a science thing. Mixing the biologies of different substances in the bottle, it's not a pure, clean experiment. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it falsifies it.  So we're keeping it pure golly to see the health benefits. But do a P1. Do your own W1. Do your own different bottles. He did say a PS at the end, saying he hasn't opened the jar in two weeks. Yeah, see, I want to hear that when it's like two years. Two weeks is whatever.   Send it in. Oh, imagine how yellow it would get. It'd get orange, I reckon. It'd orange. I reckon it'd get dark brown. You should see Steve-Os. Oh. Did you watch that vlog where Steve will do it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Some of them were like dark brown. Wow.  Maybe we should do that. Anyway, next question is from Mad Matt, and it is about Matt. How long have you guys known Matt Brown and what solidified your friendship? We met Matthew Brown. How long ago now? Like 18? Was that 18? I don't know. I don't think so. 19? Yeah. I would have been like 23. So yeah, probably 19 or 20. But anyway. We met him through a good friend of ours, James. James worked with Matt, and then James was like, man, you've got to check this legend out, man. He's just finished. Stopped his stalking addiction. I think he said it the other day. How did James describe us? Oh, yeah. There he goes.  He goes, they're a bit like different. They like to make out with each other to impress chicks. It's a full-on. It's a full-on pass. It's not even. It's just fucking, oh, man.  They said they might try it with you. Just tell them no. Yeah, I remember that fucking. I was in the fucking, that night that we met in West End.  And then I got in the boot of the car. Yeah, I got a video of that. Yeah, fucking.  And next minute, here he is. Michael showed me his hemorrhoid the first time I met him. Yeah, Michael loves showing everyone that. New Farm Park. I don't remember that, but I have shown a lot of people hemorrhoids. So I believe it. Man, we are so autistic, kind of. The hair is fucking, it doesn't send you. The hair is there. Cut on the back. I watched last week's podcast and the Mohawk. There's literally two strands that would, as soon as you'd move them, go straight back to your eye. Yeah, and like, so you couldn't like get away from it and you just kept doing these over and over.  Next question is from Demon Badger.  Demon Basher. What's an idea that you guys filmed and released that you weren't sure about, but it ended up taking off? Rock roulette? Rock roulette?   It's like whenever you... It's literally a drunk game that we used to play, a drinking game.  Drinking.  That's a drinking game. I remember that we had like little 10 year old kids sending us clips of them throwing rocks and sticks up and then landing on their own heads. And then one kid like fully had to go to an emergency and she had a full cracked skull. Oh, did he die? One kid is dead from rock roulette, so I really regret.    Oh, god. Alright, two more questions left. This is from Brie Firth. She's asking, what tattoos do you guys have and what's the story behind them? You have a lot, but... I won't show that. You won't be able to show it all, but you can just tell. Hang on. Okay, so here I have the HIV positive tattoo and a boy throwing a rock at a dog.  I've got a tramp stamp on my back. It's cute. It's a very cute pony. And a line up your leg. A line up the back of my leg also for a video. Oh, and the letters D, A on my eyebrow. The rest is scrubbed off. Oh, do you? Yeah. From that Daryl Slap video. Oh, yeah. I've got the shoes, a mate's name, an ex's name. I did that! A massive line up my leg. A love heart. And the fucking... What else? I can't think of the other one. A unicorn. Oh, yeah, unicorns on the shoe now. But yeah, the silly ones. It's too hard. We said it about last couple weeks ago. I'm thinking about just going... We don't know what sleeves to get. Didn't you just have hand and foot? My idea is crop circles. I'd get some crop circle related.  I'm thinking about just going into a tattoo and just being like, giving them a few things that I want it to look like and just being like, God, that's kind of... But everyone's got a sleeve these days. Yeah, they've got to be good now. I think I prefer now the look where it's patched tattoos. You should check out Angelina Jolie's Tattoos and Wanted. She has kind of crop circle-y stuff on there. Anyway. I might make a call. All right, last question. It's from James Kirkpatrick.  This is a tough... On the equipment. We coughed at the same. Watch this. Powerful. All right, this is a tough question, so be prepared. If you guys could choose to be in either Jackass or Dirty Sanchez, what one would you choose? I think Jackass, just because it'd be easier. Oh, dude. The Dirty Sanchez rips all over Jackass. So, yeah, I'd probably go and... What, Jackass did make a lot of money. So did Dirty Sanchez, but... Yeah, Jackass reached a higher level. Yeah, there's four movies on it now. It depends. Yeah. I think they're equally... There's good from both.  Well, it's just... But, like, there is a whole new level. Like, you can't... They're in a whole new grade. I think Jackass is quite... I find Jackass more entertaining. Just more for the masses. Jackass is more dumbed down for the masses.  And then Jackass of Production, which I like as well, 1%. But, yeah, Dirty Sanchez...  Dirty Sanchez just has a little level. It's like, not many people know about Dirty Sanchez. Like, they do Jackass, but they're good in their own different ways, but, yeah, probably money-wise Jackass. It's all about the money for you, isn't it?  Oh, fucking... It helps. Yeah. I want it to. That's it. All right, guys. What we're about to tell you... was shocky to your core. This will probably only... It's not even that crazy, but to our Australian fans, I think you'll understand, okay? I think you'll understand. But, um... Right before we were... We were poor as fuck, all right? Let me set the scene for you. We were poor. We were...  We were in a lot of debt. Life was shit, okay? Then, we met Justin Ryan, okay? He lived close by, all right? Like two streets away. I can't even remember how we met him. We met him at that event that we... Everyone hated us. Where I ripped the condom off. Oh, man. Yeah, we've told that story, right? Yeah. Anyway, that's when we met him.  But, I thought there was an untapped potential there with Justin Ryan, if only he had someone to guide him. So, for a while, okay? Justin Ryan would come over. I would have the video outline and then we would film the video, edit it, and post it. And then it was a certain type of video. Like, what were some of the things that we made him do to begin with?  You just use their photo. So, he was jam, jam, and Justin Ryan. Like, and pretended he was on Dr. Phil for an episode. He showed us how to make toast for an episode. He showed us how to fight for an episode.     I love the guy. He's a very nice boy.  He's just a really nice guy.  He's a great stirrer.  And he loves the hate. He loves it. He loves stirring.  We tried to steer him away from that a little bit, and then he even started doing music videos.   We went to so many, on so many excursions. There was one time where I was trying to find the perfect film location. And I was there walking through sewers with Justin Ryan, just me and him trying to find the perfect sewer walking through them. They're like proper head height. You can walk through it the whole way. Yeah. There was another time. I remember when he was, the whole video was about why he was trying to tell people that he's important because he's come back in time. He has a time machine. Remember the one where he was like, you were driving, and then he was just on the car, the passenger car that was up, and he was keeping up, being a cat or something?   And then we'd post it and see the people's reactions.   And it started working. It worked.   Posting his own stuff. He'd go live and call out other social media influencers, like people that were our friends and stuff, and we're like, no man, we can't. That's why we told him, don't ever tell anyone this. And because we thought we'd be, because we're just starting out on social media and we didn't want anyone else to hate us or think that we were associated with him, because you just get hated via association.  And at the very end of the video, Justin goes to shake GemGem's hand and I took GemGem's hand and put Bosley's hand instead. And so he shakes Bosley's hand, a close-up of it, and that's the end of the video.  And he's like, dude, are you like making Justin Ryan's videos?  That plus he couldn't help himself. He was doing his own vids too much.  And I was like, no, sorry, we need to, yeah, we can't risk being hated by people. You know what I mean?  And I tried so hard to find the hard drive and I will again.  Comment if you ever saw any of those types of videos. Some of them, like, that was the fighting one.  Oh, yeah, dude. And I'm like, come on, come on. He's like fighting at the camera. That one got like a million views. Yeah, a few went viral. He was so happy. That's why he enjoyed it because he was going viral as well. And people were just genuinely laughing rather than hating it. It was good content.  We want people to know, Justin and Ryan, we fucking, we did some videos for him.  Yeah, we'll get him back on here. Yeah, we should get him back on. What's he been doing?  He messaged me throughout the years. Can you help me make Facebook videos again? But it was just like, we're just too much on now. It's just too much on. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But yeah, great guy. And yeah, comment if you have seen our past videos we've done with him.  But and fair enough, he's trying to get that reaction from you.  And yeah, he's a great troller. So fucking. He's very famous because he's so good at trolling. You've got to respect that. It's cool. He's cat on the back. All right. Time for the next segment, which has been renamed to... That was a good one. Yeah, man. My headset fell off. I'd say, you know, it's a rip. That hurt? Yeah, man. My neck's in cramp mode. My neck's fully cramped right now. So painful. This really hurts.  And we saw the outpouring of support, comments for the PO Box. So it remains. We will continue to open your gifts. Yeah. Live on the podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Here we go.  Christmas time. This is from Sabrina. Mark, do you want to work on this one? Christmas time. Something for everyone. Something for everyone. Matthew. Oh. The podcast is just gifts. Oh, yes. I literally was saying to Michael, do I have any more lollies left from Nicky's package? You know what? Now we're all out.   A big old block of milk. All right. You go first. All right. So I've got this little package as a big note in here. And it sent something, a Cooper torch. And it's got like these chains. I'm assuming that it's related to this letter. So let me just read this letter. Diary entry number 30,465 by Matthew Gregory Brown. Okay. So it looks like he's found one of your diary entries, Matt. How would he have one of my diary entries? That doesn't make any sense. Look, sometimes I email him around when I'm drunk. You're fucked. This message is from the future. It is I, Matthew Gregory Brown. Well, I haven't done that. So maybe this comes from the future as well. And I'm begging for your help, Monty and Michael. You saved me for myself for the safety of the women of Australia.  I discovered quite by accident that concrete enemas dampened my lust significantly. Unfortunately, wholesome decided the way I was using their equipment was unwholesome and fired me. Now I have relapsed and face de-browning at the hands and scalpels of the government. I took part in a charity golf tournament raising money that would be used to help capture sexual predators. They would never think to look for me there, I thought. But when I arrived at the team, my caddy was her, Olga. The rife heifer my loins have sung hymns of lust for for the last 24 years. My brown sprung forth like a hydra, growing three extra little brown heads as it dragged me across the green towards her.  I browned all over the green. The green was stained with my formally wholesome sponsored mints. She screamed and ran away. Would you like to get a cream cheese bagel with me sometimes? I bellowed as I wrestled with my writhing brown, needless to say I'm currently sat in maximum security as I write. Amazon now offers delivery to the past so I'm sending this parcel in the hopes you can change my destiny. You have my retroactive consent to hold me down and encase my little brown in this chastity cage. And whenever the need arises, PS, I've also included a handy rape alarm for me to activate whenever I feel the brown, levieth and rising from the depths as to warn nearby women.  This guy's sent a chastity belt from the future, Matt Brown. Can we put it on, but just for us to look at Matt? Maybe for the only fan. Maybe for the boys trip.  This is literally some sort of rape whistle.  Oh, wow. Look in there. Wow.  That's so work. That's pretty cool, Matt. This is for you. Right? You always like it when you get stuff in the PO box. Oh, there you go. Look, there's a lock. It's a chastity belt. That's sexy. What is a Cooper torch? It's sexy. Anyway, yeah.  Thank you very much for that. And who knows how many lives that guy just saved? Part two. This is part two of the first one. Remember? Yes. Oh, I've got a big old German hat. Yes. Big old German hat. Oh, wow. You have to wear that hat. Beautiful. I'm going to wear this everywhere. God, that is actually quite nice. I will wear that everywhere. There you go. Ooh. A coloring in book.  The Stone Activity Book. Oh my God. Would you get Matthew Brown? Thank you, Sabrina. And here we go. We've got letters too.   Here we go. Sabrina sent an actual fly. That's such a good sentence. Wow, a German fly. You want to see what a German looks like? Can I see it? Yeah. All right. We'll read the note. Letters in our spare time.  This one's for both of us. But I'll open it. Oh, wow, Matt. Matt's been sent. Is this from Sabrina? This got sent a little golf buggy to hopefully motivate him to get back out on that golf course and don't ever give up, Matthew Brown. I thought it was a bomb. And it is. No, it's not. Matt, you're going to get it. You're going to get it. It is. No, it's not. Imagine if it was. And that's how this podcast ended. No one would even know what we're talking about. Dude, perfect. Oh, it's perfect for the table. I know. She knows. That's hot. Thank you, Sabrina. I'll shove him down here with the little aliens in the middle.  That's how I want him.  We'll fix him up. That'll be good to show to them one day when we meet them. Marty and Michael love Cindy. It's an envelope, a big yellow envelope, and it's got something chunky inside. Imagine if she'd cut off her breast nipple. We have fake beer. It looks like real beer, but it tastes like dishwater. Oh, that's cool. Like a little prank. So you put this powder in a glass of water and it looks like beer. And then you say, hey, mate, would you like a nice cold beverage after a long day of harding, harding work? Sure.  Very ill. Perfect. That's a good prank. Highly ill. Thank you for that, Cindy.  They're good. That was good. I enjoyed that. Yeah. No, that's great. Let me enjoy some milker. Milker? Oh, speaking of milker. Reminds me of my childhood. Oh, that's a big bit. Big bit. I think it melted and reformed. All right, guys, it's time for the next segment of the German segment. Ach du lieber, ach du lieber. Dutch, Dutch, Dutch, everyone. Ach du lieber, ach du lieber. Dutch, Dutch, Dutch. Milker. And this is a segment where Michael will read out a very common German phrase as a normal German would. I'm going to try and guess what he's saying and then I'm going to read it out how an actual German would read it. Okay? It's very simple. Ola, dae, woe, klug, li. Fuck, that sounds... Ola, dae, woe, klug, li. Sounds like Irish. It sounds like... I've got to get angry. Wait. New sentence. Someone did comment, say, I think you're focusing too much on the anger.  Yeah, a soft, gentle person. Just give it a go. Just be loud. Or just, even just read it how you would read in English. And then I will correct it when I read it as an actual German. Das ist Dörrsplingen der Pankt. Again? I understand more of it.  Das ist Dörrsplingen der Pankt. Very deep. Husky voice for a German mother. Das ist Dörrsplingen der Pankt. Das ist Hörsplingen der Pankt.  Das ist der springende Pankt. Das ist der springende Pankt. Pankt. Pankt. Pankt. It's fun to say, isn't it? Which my alarm was this. Pankt. Pankt. Pankt. Pankt. Which means, the point which means the point. Das ist der springende Pankt.  Very good. Oh, Kabate. Yeah, man. See, I know. It came back to you. Boomerang, man. Fuck. Because it knows I'm German. German words attract to German. Ich kann nur Hör-us. What? What did you say? Ich kann nur Hör-us. I have no idea. That is like a really northern German dialect you're using there. Really? Ich kann nur Mischia-os. Ich kann nur Mischia-os. Ich kann nur Mischia-os. Which means, I know my way around this area.  You could say, ich kann nur Mischia-os. And they would say, be relaxed. Imagine German TV shows and German fucking, yeah, man, there's lots of them. There's plenty of German shows that I used to watch and you have to turn the volume right down. Why? Because there's lots of yelling and lots of screaming. It's German television, man.   There's cats on my back. All right. There's cats on my back.  That did sound a lot like my late grandmother.  Oh, my Margaret. Ich sehe schwarz für dich. Ich sehe schwarz für dich. Which means, I see black for you. Oh, we've read these before. Which means it's hopeless for you. So it's good that you tried it. People would use to say to us, ich sehe schwarz für dich. Just strangers walking by your house. Yeah. I would say that if they were German. Did Nikki send us some new ones? Oh, she did. She sent us like a German quiz. I think we've done them. I think we've done all the cards.   Let's do secrets.  I want to get back into that. Let's break some of these segments apart a bit.  Is that it?  Yeah, we just got prank call and then we're... Oh, we'll fucking... And fucking... Remember guys, comment, give it a like. Fuck, man. I know I'm begging, but...  And it's like, I don't want to watch this guy keep begging me. But it's like, come on. Just give it a like. Help us help you. Give it a like and give it a comment. And maybe, I don't know... Maybe subscribe, okay? And maybe go back to last week's episode. Give it a like so he has to try the gollybottle. Okay, that's all I'm asking for, man. That's it. And subscribe to the website. Subscribe though. It's $10 a month.  Come on. I'm not asking for... Come on. Follow us on Instagram. What? That's not much. TikTok. Like our page on Facebook. Share the videos. Do you know what? Buy... Buy Charmie's merch. Send us... Buy something. Make a memories merch, please.   Watch our TikTok videos. Share them to Instagram. Matt runs that. Buy some raffle tickets for the giveaway. Join our email list. Join the email list. Share anything on the... For the actual Instagram and I'll re-share it. Do you see us in the streets? Gives us a bit of money. Gives us just $5. Some coins. I don't know. Yeah, no coins. All right. Just coins. Matt will take your coins. He'll take the bottles. Yeah. All right.  No, I'm just joking. Anyway, here's prank call. And now the final segment. The prank... The call. I like that.  So Darren's coming out for this one.  And Michael's going to be the more Mrs. The moaning crying. The moaning Mrs. The moaning Mrs. You can hear more Mrs. Anyway. All right. Let's try. Let's try. Let's try. All right. So we have to be a little bit panicked, but not too bad. Hey, kiddo. How you going? My name is Darren.  And I've just started... It's okay. I just started using a couple with my Mrs. And one's just gone. Like I can't... I think it's gone all the way in. And like, I don't know what to do like right now. Like, I thought it's not meant to go all the way in. Like, I thought it meant a bit of it stays out, but it just went in straight away. Okay. So if that's okay. So you'll have to stay a little bit out. But unfortunately, the only way you're going to be able to get that out is through either transition at yourself or go to the ER. Look, I can't even see it. Like, I try to put my fingers in, but it hurts her.     Is there something like... He's got like lube or something that I can run in, get. And maybe like I can lube it up or something and then try and pull it out and then... You could give that a shot. But again, like if that's not totally going to be at ER. Yeah, look, it's...  Yeah, look, what would I even say to them?   Look, don't they have to like... Don't they have to tell their guardians and that? That she's in there? Like, I can't... Is she a minor? No, no, no, no, no. She's 21. She's 21. So, no, no, it's all G, but like I just don't want her parents to find it. Okay, right.  Like, I can't go in there like that.  I'm going to have to bring her in. I'm going to... Oh, Tracy, we're just going to have to go in, all right? Derek, can you be able to sit in the car? Yeah. Okay. We're just going to have to come in, all right? Maybe if you can... Is there something like... Has this ever happened before? Like, do you guys have something there that can maybe help us get it out or something? Sorry. What do you mean? How can you sell these butt plugs and like, it's just gone like that? Like, I put a bit of pressure on with my thumb, right? And gone.   I haven't seen it for like five minutes.  There's no even like, warning signs and that on the butt plugs, right?  It's gone.  Can't see it no more.  Sorry, it depends on the size, unfortunately. Like, that's not something that we can just fight for you. He's got to start putting warnings on these butt plugs. He's got to start putting warnings on these butt plugs, right? That's the first time we've used one.  Like, that's the first one I've used. And it's just gone.  I'm just saying it's just that it's not my fault. I know it's not your fault. I'm saying maybe the place you work for, the corporation, right?  Bet it doesn't even pay taxes.  Like, they're so slippery. Like, I touch it. I nearly drop it. It's so slippery, right?  To stop it getting sucked all the way in.  You know what I mean?  I don't know how I'm going to get her in the car.  And we'll see if we can get like some lube or some other. Do you have like a pair of tongs or something there? The sex tongs or something? No. I believe we're going to do the only thing. I believe we're going to start to stop at the end. Yeah, it's all right. It's not that bad. And then there's a little sort of skink that the lube should stop before that skinks. Okay. So, but if it's gone, like if it's gone right up her, like surely, surely she'll just like pull it out eventually, right? And like 12 hours or something. Like worst case scenario, if I can't, if I can, like there's a chance of tearing, you would have to go to the air. Oh yeah. Fuck.  All right.  Let me see if I can dip my fingers in.  One second. Well, Trace, come here.  Stop moving around. I'm going to get out at one second. All right. Fuck. Hold still. Hold still. It's going to start fucking.  It's gone.  All right. We're going to have to come in. Hello. Are you still there? Yeah. So again, there's nothing that there's still can actually do for you. You're going to want to call in. Mate. I might be able to treat it, but we can't. I cannot call. It is so embarrassing. Right. I'm going to, I'm going to, we're going to come to the sixth door right now. Right. I'm lighting her up in the truck and we're going to come right in. All right. So get ready in the next five minutes. You sold us this. Right. You've got to help me fix this. All right. You guys got to, I don't know. Like my fingers. My fingers are massive. Right.  Maybe some more petite fingers or something. Help her get, put your blood, pull it out. Do you know what I'm saying? Like get your little fingers in there. Maybe you can grab it. Because I touched it just then. I felt the end of it. Right. But I think I pushed it in. Do part. You got gloves. He's got gloves, but I've seen the gloves in there. I don't know what else to do. I'm going to have to come in. All right. I'm sorry. I'm coming in first. Right. And if you can't help, if you can't help get it out, then I'll call the paramedic. I will do that. All right. Because I'm responsible, but I am not going to embarrass myself. Like that and call the ambulance right now.  Right.       Fuck. Again, unfortunately, legally, I can't help. All right. Okay then. All right. Well, I guess I'll call paramedics. Okay. Thanks. No worries. See you. Do you think they thought that was real? Yeah.  What did she do? What's going on with the screaming? It was the sickest screaming. I was trying to do your scream and talk as me at the same time. Yeah, I know. Yeah. I fully dribbled everywhere. I think that was me. That was probably one of the best.  It's supposed to be real. It's supposed to be real. I'm a meth. An actor. And that concludes episode number 24 skin. Guys, don't remember. If you want to see Michael, attempt to do the same thing. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know what I mean? If you want to see Michael attempt to do a shot from the golly born episode number 23. Last week's episode has to get to three k. Likes. Okay. I'm not going to give up on this. We have to get that video to 3K likes so the Mark 살짝 sh . Shortly goalie bottle. I don't want to see it, but I do want to see it. Yeah. I want to do it. I don't want to. I don't want to be here, but I want to, I want to be here. Yeah, dude, you know what I mean?   He can't We're the best. We're the best.   They're watching it twice I'm gonna show it to their sisters Yeah, watch man. It's a little hack. So please I'm begging you man. I'm on my knees I'm on my hands and knees right now. Really? Yeah. I'm honestly. I'm literally on my hands and knees right now Okay, begging you guys to please watch it twice. Oh, yeah, we're the best.  Oh god We're good, please. This is a queen wave with a sex toy All right, we're the best No, actually watch it a third Oh