Administering the oath of enlistment this evening is the 40th Chief of Staff of the United States Army, General James C. McConville. American paratroopers, American soldiers, then in this week is the Army birthday celebration protecting around the world. And the soldiers you saw jumping in today and the soldiers you'll see during this event represent the very, very best of the United States. Very shortly, I will enlist new soldiers who have raised their right hand during a time of conflict and said, send me. So we are very, very proud to have them join the Army. We are hiring right now for anyone else that's interested. So let's go ahead and get on with this thing. We're proud to be in the Army. We're proud to have you join us. Thank you. Okay, please raise your right hand and repeat after me. I state your name. Do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic. And that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. And that I will bear the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me according to regulations in the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God. Congratulations and proud to have you in the Army. Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, please join us in welcoming the United States Army's newest soldiers. The United States Army welcomes you to Joint Base Meyer Henderson Hall in this evening's Special Army Birthday Performance of Twilight Tattoo. Now taking the field are soldiers of your United States Army. Please stand and join us in singing the Army Song. The Commander of Troops this evening is Lieutenant Colonel Michael R. Thompson, Commander, Fourth Battalion, Third United States Infantry Regiment, the Old Guard. Ladies and gentlemen, our hosts for this evening's performance are the Secretary of the Army, Honorable Christine Wormuth, the Chief of Staff of the Army, General James C. McConville, and Sergeant Major Charles W. Albertson, representing the Sergeant Major of the Army. Ladies and gentlemen, please rise as honors are rendered. Please be seated. Ladies and gentlemen, we are honored to have special guests for tonight's ceremony, the Honorable Christine E. Wormuth and Mr. Andrew Kipper, Secretary of the Army, General and Mrs. James C. McConville, Chief of Staff of the Army. Sergeant Major Charles W. Albertson, representing Sergeant Major of the Army, Michael A. Grinston, Executive Officer to the Sergeant Major of the Army. Miss Alexandra Grinston, spouse of the Sergeant Major of the Army, Michael A. Grinston. General retired and Mrs. Eric Shinseki, Seventh Secretary of Veterans Affairs, Chairman, Army Historical Foundation. The Honorable Michael McCord, Under Secretary of Defense for Comptroller and Chief Financial Officer. The Honorable Gilbert Sinceros Jr., Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness. Miss Silene Mullen, Acting Assistant Secretary of Defense for Health Affairs. General and Mrs. Joseph M. Martin, Vice Chief of Staff of the Army. General and Mrs. David D. Thompson, Vice Chief of Space Operations. Admiral Steve D. Poulin, Vice Commandant of the Coast Guard. The Honorable Carl E. Spangler, Assistant Secretary of the Army, Financial Management and Comptroller. Miss Yvette K. Busico, Acting Assistant Secretary of the Army, Manpower and Reserve Affairs. Miss Veronica Valdez, Special Assistant to the Secretary of Defense for White House Liaison. Mr. Matthew Williams, Performing the duties of the Principal Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Legislative Affairs. Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Brannon, Deputy Assistant Secretary of Defense for Plans and Posture. Lieutenant General and Mrs. Walter E. Payett, Director of the Army Staff. Mr. Mario Diaz, Deputy Under Secretary of the Army. Chief Foreign Officer 5, Yolandria S. Dixon Carter, Assistant Executive Officer and Senior Warrant Officer Advisor to the 40th Chief of Staff of the Army. And we are pleased to have congressional staff members from the offices of Senator Catherine Cortez Masto. And Representative Chrissy Hulahan. Thank you for sharing your evening with us. Once again, welcome to Joint Base Meyer Henderson Hall in this evening's special performance of Twilight Tattoo! Army Strong! The origin of American military music can be traced to the pifers and drummers of the Revolutionary War. This musical heritage is represented today by the soldiers of the United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps. The soldiers of the Pfeifen Drum Corps wear uniforms patterned after those of General Washington's Continental Army. In order to be easily identified, military musicians wore the reverse colors of the regiment to which they were assigned. At that time, American infantry soldiers wore blue coats with red facings. Thus the musicians wore red coats with blue facings. The active duty musicians of today's Pfeifen Drum Corps honor the soldiers of the past while displaying the discipline, professionalism and precision of today's Army to audiences around the globe. For over 200 years, our nation's Army has been committed to upholding the United States Constitution and defending the values, traditions and liberties that define us as a nation. We as an Army stand today on the shoulders of giants who fought so bravely for our country. As they conclude their program, the Corps honors the legacy and the continued vigilance of today's soldier with the Corps' signature melody and troop step. Once again, ladies and gentlemen, the United States Army Old Guard Fife and Drum Corps! In the evening of April 18th, 1775, dispatch riders from Boston rode out to alert the Minutemen of the March of British Army Soldiers, known as regulars or redcoats, to Lexington and Concord. One of them, Silver Smith, artist and patriot Paul Revere, was later immortalized in Henry Wandsworth Longfellow's 1861 poem with the words, Listen my children and you shall hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere. The American Revolution was our eight year long struggle for independence. The conflict witnessed the birth of our nation's Army on 14 June 1775, though the raw militia units that comprised that force were severely tested in the early years of the Revolution. Under the leadership of General George Washington, a professional American Army emerged from the trials and tribulations of Valley Forge as a trained, battle-tested and highly organized fighting force. Sound assembly! Less than a generation after the American Revolution, the Army was again called upon to defend our hard-won liberties and national sovereignty in the War of 1812. In battles that raged from Canada to the Gulf of Mexico, American soldiers endured and persevered as our nation's capital and the entire Chesapeake region was threatened in the summer of 1814. A small force of soldiers and militia held out against an invading British Army and fleet at a small post near Baltimore, Maryland. It's an attack for the last two days. The enemy has pressed us hard and they've been shelling Fort McHenry almost non-stop. But the men endure the horrors of battle and the bombardment like veterans. The courage and strength of the regular soldiers and militia remains unbroken despite the hardships. We have a bond. We trust each other and our officers and we know we will prevail. This morning at dawn, the force commander ordered an enormous flag be raised to show the enemy that we will not be defeated. They say it can be seen for miles. That flag is our nation's symbol, our badge of honor, and it will not be lowered for this or any foe. Over 200 years ago, our national anthem was born as Francis Scott Key observed our glorious flag flying over the ramparts at Fort McHenry the morning after the battle. Please rise and join in singing The Star Spangled Banner. The Star Spangled Best Century America began to rapidly expand its borders. President Jefferson's negotiation of the Louisiana Purchase in 1803 had doubled the size of the young nation and the United States Army's core of discovery. Led by Army Captains Maryweather Lewis and William Clark explored these vast new lands. Tens of thousands of Americans followed trails that stretched from St. Louis, Missouri to Oregon, California and New Mexico. Army engineers and soldiers spearheaded expeditions that explored and mapped this great land from the Mississippi River to the Rocky Mountains, Grand Canyon and Pacific Northwest, through the ravages of the American Civil War and the building of the Transcontinental Railroad that connected the nation from coast to coast. The Army was able to transform itself to respond to the ever-changing needs of the nation. America's small frontier army would evolve into a larger and more complex fighting force that first appeared on the world stage in the Spanish-American War. Then in 1917, the Army was called upon to deploy massive formations overseas to defeat the armies of the German Kaiser in World War I. One of the most decorated units to emerge from World War I was the 369th Infantry Regiment known as the Harlem Hell Fighters. The regiment was composed largely of African-American soldiers from New York. Originally an Army National Guard unit, these soldiers had overcome many challenges to join the ranks of the American Expeditionary Force that deployed to France under General John Pershing. Private Henry Johnson, one of America's great heroes of the conflict, was a member of this proud, capable and hard-fighting unit. The French said that what I did was heroic or brave. Oh, they even gave me this medal, but I tell you I only did what I had to do. You see, Robert's not a restraining sentry in no man's land of northern France this past May. In the wee hours of the morning, we thought we heard wire cutters. And before we knew it, a hell of bullets came our way. We gave it right back to them, we unloaded our rifles and went after them with grenades. We both got hit, but Robert's went down and I just kept going. Honestly, two Germans taken him away. I turned my rifle around and I clubbed two Germans who were on top of me. I pushed through my bowler knife, got Robert's back and continued for the enemy. Reinforcements finally came and the Germans retreated, but now without paying a heavy price. Last week, when the French rewarded us to crowd a gear, all I thought was that I was proud we had done something to advance freedom. This time it wasn't as laborer, but as true American soldiers. Out the 20th century, American soldiers fought side by side with our allies to achieve victory over there. Over there, over there, send a word, send a word over there. That the yanks are coming, the drums rumbed tommy, so prepare. Say your gun, get your guns. Less than a generation later, the forces of tyranny and oppression aggrieved threatened our country and her allies with the outbreak of the Second World War. After the Japanese bombing of Pearl Harbor on December 7th, 1941, American forces waged campaigns in the European and Pacific theaters. Soldiers fought from the deserts of North Africa to the beaches of Normandy, the jungles of New Guinea and the Philippines. When General MacArthur said, I shall return back in 42, victory in the Pacific sure seemed a long way off. But just this past year, my division, the 77th Infantry, has helped take back Guam, the Philippines and now Okinawa. My brother hit Omaha Beach and France last year with the 1st Infantry Division.  I sure hope victory ain't too far off either. I'm ready for the fight to end so I can get back to my wife, kids and the life I had left behind. From the country came together to support our troops, with most men shipping out more than 6 million American women stepped up and met the new challenges. America became the arsenal of democracy and millions of Americans were needed to keep the troops supplied. They worked in factories and workshops across the country, producing tanks, artillery, vehicles and aircraft. Not only did women help build the planes, they flew them to where they were needed, as members of the Women Air Force Service Pilot Program, the WASPs. 41, I was a civilian pilot instructor in Hawaii when I witnessed the attacks on Pearl Harbor from the flight deck of my plane. Watching that event moved me to join the WASPs when they formed a year later. In total, we flew over 60 million miles, transporting cargo, laying smoke and towing aerial targets. We handled every type of military aircraft available at the time and nothing makes me prouder than knowing I used one of my greatest talents in service to my country. In 2010, the WASPs recognized their invaluable service to the nation with a Congressional Gold Medal. Today, women now serve in all positions within the Army and are integral members of the team. America declared victory in Europe and Japan, VE and VJ days in 1945, and Americans looked forward to what they hoped would be a period of peace and prosperity, but the world order continued to change. The peace that so many had fought and died for in World War II lasted just a few short years. In June 1950, the Cold War turned hot, as American forces joined with the United Nations to resist communist aggression in Korea. The Army that deployed to Korea had begun to transform to look more like the nation it served. The desegregation of the armed forces by President Truman in 1948 created integrated units that fought at places like Heartbreak Ridge, Horkchop Hill and Sandbag Castle before an armistice which continues to this day was signed in the fighting came to an end. I fought across Europe against the Nazis in World War II. I never thought I'd be back on active duty again, but here I am on Horkchop Hill fighting commies. We've been ordered to hold this position at all costs, sort of messaged to the enemy, no matter how many assaults they launched, we won't budge. In a faraway land, these soldiers I lead are giving everything to fight off communist aggression. Like me, many fought in the last war. They are brave and the very best. We hope that the sacrifices we are making will give the people of South Korea a chance at lasting peace and allow them to rebuild their nation as they want to. Korea is sometimes called the Forgotten War, but the heroic efforts of American service members fighting side-by-side with our Korean and United Nations allies enabled South Korea to build the thriving democracy they have today. Less than a decade after the armistice in Korea, the army was once again called upon to confront our nation's enemies, this time in Southeast Asia. As the army entered Vietnam, it implemented innovative concepts that transformed warfare and medical treatment operations. Helicopter gunships mounted with machine guns and rockets rapidly delivered aerosol troops to the battlefield, where they could be supported by tactical air and artillery support. These helicopter units revolutionized medical first responder capabilities on the battlefield and beyond. Helicopter medical evacuations known as dust-offs, pioneered life-saving techniques that remain the benchmark in both military and civilian emergency medical care today. At the heart of all these innovations was the American soldier. I'm Sergeant Robert L. Howard and I'm on my third tour here in Vietnam. I couldn't wait to enlist in the army and become a Green Beret. To be a part of the best of the best was all I ever dreamed of as a kid. My A-Team has done everything from providing medical care to villagers up in the Central Highlands to advising and fighting alongside the Vietnamese. Once my team was attacked by enemy forces three times our size, my platoon leader was badly wounded and pinned down, so I crawled through enemy fire and pulled them out. Even though I was wounded too, I made sure my entire team got back to safety before I left the battlefield. They gave me the Medal of Honor for my actions, but I didn't do it for hopes of an award. I did it because I care about my team and because what we're doing here in Vietnam is important. I volunteered to be an Army nurse right out of college. Here in Vietnam, we work 12-hour shifts, six days a week, and this is the hardest work I've done in my life. Every day, we see about a dozen soldiers come through our field hospital and we do everything we can to help them heal. We're saving lives on the front line and performing procedures back home only doctors can do. Even on my days off, I go back to the hospital and try to comfort the wounded as best I can. My friends back home don't understand, but I know what I'm doing here is my calling. Not just as a nurse, but as a U.S. Army soldier and support my country however I can. We soldiers are trusted professionals in our nation's greatest military asset. We answered America's call to duty and served with honor and selfless service. Conditions in Vietnam. Commitment to the nation and each other. As we emerged from conflict in Southeast Asia, the world was changing in many ways. We asked ourselves, as the world evolves, how do we need to evolve to meet new challenges? The Army went to work on changes to our doctrine, equipment, organizations, personnel systems, and how we trained our professional soldiers. The revolutions in training and doctrine in the post-Vietnam era, as well as the movement from the draft to an all-volunteer force transformed the United States Army. Realistic demanding training, along with inspired visionary leadership is the bedrock of the Army profession. The Army instills individual and collective excellence. A commitment to a strong personal and team ethic and set of professional values. All this is represented in the soldiers of the United States Army drill team. The secret to our Army success was, is, and continues to be unit cohesion and trust. Nowhere is that more evident than in the drill team. Members of the drill team are from all corners of the United States, with a wide range of career fields. They have perfected their skills and are here to share them with you today. Ladies and gentlemen, your United States Army drill team. Today, the drill team is commanded by Sergeant First Class Jonathan Chappelle from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The drill team represents today's soldiers as well as yesterday's heroes who proudly fought in our nation's wars and continue to serve around the world. The total Army must be ready for today, modernized for tomorrow, and strengthened by close relationships with our allies and partners. Like the drill team, we build cohesive teams that are highly trained, disciplined, and fit, who are ready to fight and win in any environment. We sustain a culture of respect, trust, and discipline where everyone takes care of each other. Now, the most difficult maneuver of all, the soldiers will continue to march as members from the front rank toss their rifle into the air over the formation to be caught by the soldiers in the rear rank. This is again an exercise in trust as team members will have to put their safety in the hands of their fellow soldiers. This is the United States Army drill team signature maneuver since 1958, the front-to-rear overhead rifle toss. And the ambassadors for today's Army, yesterday's heroes, and tomorrow's soldiers, our United States Army drill team. After Vietnam, the integration of technology, planning, training, equipment, and leadership set the foundation for victory over the next three decades. It helped to bring about victory in the Cold War with the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, and the collapse of the Soviet Union in 1991. American soldiers also served with distinction in places like Granada, Panama, Somalia, Haiti, and the Balkans. No other nation on the face of the Earth could compete as America developed weapons like the Big Five, the Abrams Tank, the Bradley Fighting Vehicle, the Apache and Black Hawk helicopters, and the Patriot Missile. The first major conflict for the United States in the post-Vietnam era presented itself in August 1990 when Saddam Hussein ordered his armies to invade Kuwait. This was no ordinary act of aggression. Iraq's Army, the fourth largest in the world, the Bancin Republican Guard were well-equipped and battle-tested after the eight-year war with Iran. Still in just 100 hours of ground combat, the U.S. Army and their allies achieved a stunning victory over enemies, liberating Kuwait, professionalism, and high level of training of our soldiers. Added to the history books were victories such as the Battle of Medina Ridge, the Battle of Wada al-Bateen, the Battle of 73 Easting, the largest tank battle fought by American forces since World War II. America rallied behind its soldiers and their families as we achieved victory in the Gulf War. This spirit was captured in a memorable song of the era. If tomorrow I'd work for all my life and I had to start again with just my family by my side, I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today because the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away and I won't forget the ones who died and I gladly stand because there ain't no doubt in a shining sea Detroit down to Houston and it's time we... Added to the 9-11 terrorist attacks drawing up plans to send special forces teams to Afghanistan as part of an unconventional mission known as Task Force Dagger. American soldiers working in partnership with United States Airmen and the Afghan enemies of the Taliban known as the Northern Alliance struck quickly adapting as needed to engage in a new type of conflict. Their ability to adapt tactically, operationally and strategically was a testament to their commitment expertise and professional excellence. I'm Captain Mark Neuch Commander of the Fed Special Forces Group Operational Detachment Alpha 595 We were one of the first Special Forces teams ready for deployment told to start planning and to be prepared to use indigenous animals for transportation. I let an experienced team of soldiers served in Somalia, Bosnia or the 1st Gulf War but we never imagined we'd be riding horses into combat Once we arrived in Afghanistan on 19 October 2001 we had a lot to learn my men adapted well The horses give us the flexibility to get in, around and behind the enemy to cut them off from reinforcement and retreat The U.S. Army hasn't filled the cavalry unit on horseback since World War II they were fighting side by side with their Afghan allies In this fight adaptability and resilience meddled most From the mountains of Afghanistan to the deserts of Iraq where the Army waged war on terrorism by toppling a dictator and enabling the opportunity for democracy the American soldier demonstrated incredible versatility, perseverance courage and teamwork Today's Army is committed to innovation and new ways in one certain world strategic partnerships with industry and academic institutions as well as with our sister services and allies around the globe are propelling advancements in data centric operations and resiliency in the face of climate change As long as we continue to innovate modernize and put our people first we will remain the unrivaled world leader in ground combat operations and continue to redefine what it means to bring the fight to the enemy in 2035 and beyond in all domain operations Focus on a culture of commitment competence, character and caring Here we support a professional environment where everyone can thrive and excel as far as our talents can take them both as an individual and as a team The Army's 150 unique career fields and 8 broad specialty areas highlights the growing numbers of opportunities for Army recruits The Army is its people People are the Army's greatest strength and most important indicator of our readiness People mean soldiers in the regular Army National Guard Army Reserve Army families and Army civilians as well as veterans and retirees who remain soldiers for life and part of the Army family It takes people from all walks of life serving in many different ways to remain the world's premier My name is Staff Sergeant Dante Grafe from Los Angeles, California and I serve as the infantry soldier I am Specialist Max Hoslet from LaMoure, California and I serve as a search and rescue soldier My name is Specialist Logan Bostrom from Muskegon, Michigan and I serve as a cyber specialist My name is Specialist Harding from Fort Charles, Florida and I serve as an Army medic My name is Sergeant Tatterson I am Military Police K9 It is my military working dog Fargo Four years from all backgrounds, talents and geographies to sustain the all volunteer force and enhance the future of our Army to win the next fight Sir, with the joint forces our partners and allies and the unwavering support of you the American people we will thrive through the nation's first run of defense for another 247 years I'm just trying to be a father raise a daughter and a son be a lover to them no business in my suit yeah, I'm dressed up for success from my head down to my boots I don't bills that I can't pay I don't do it for the glory I just do it in future it's my responsibility yeah, I'm real good under pressure being all that I can be called and sick on Monday I just work straight through the holidays sometimes all night long when you know that I'll stand ready growls at the door hey, I'm solid yes, I'm steady yeah, I'm true down to the core Army to present Twilight Tattoo Thank you for coming out to celebrate the Army's 247th birthday service of American soldiers past and present our soldiers will remain on the field to speak with you and pose for photographs enjoy the rest of your evening people first, winning matters are


A fiery horse with a speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty high old silver, the Lone Ranger. When the Civil War drew to a close, a new wave of settlers swept into the western United States. Many miners and prospectors were attracted to the Black Hills by the promise of gold. When the hostile Indians drove them out and whenever effort to deal peacefully with the savages had failed, the President sent General Custer to make the country safe for the pioneers. That great leader found the mashed rat of the plains ready and anxious to help him. And the part which the famous champion of justice played in the expedition is one of the most exciting episodes in the history of the West. Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear when adventure lay at the end of every trail. The Lone Ranger rides again. Come on, Silver! We're heading for the Black Hills! Settles waiting on the trail ahead! A pale moon shown down on a solitary rider in a tattered army uniform. The lean, haggard face of the man and the broken gate of the horse were evidence that days and nights had been spent on the trails. Both were on the verge of exhaustion, but still the man urged his mount forward over the broken ground. It can't be much further, old horse. It can't be. If it is, then heaven help us. Heaven help the army, too.  That looks like it might be the woods ahead. That's where we're told to meet the mask man. Steady, steady, boy. We've got to keep going. We've got to find the mask man. Steady! We've failed. Well, there's a limit to what a horse can do. Ain't they, old boy? Come on, Silver! Let's shout. Maybe that's him. Oh, good Lord, in heaven bring that man to me. Oh! Oh, there's someone! Oh! Tell us, there was a horseman you saw from our camp. He's holding. How bad him hurt. I don't think he's been hurt. I think he's simply gone to the limit of his strength to reach us. This must be the soldier we were asked by those friends to meet here. Steady, soldier. Here, drink this water. Take a look at his horse, tell us. Then wipe his nostrils and try and pour some water from your canteen into his mouth. Oh, no, fix him. Are you hurt? Me? I don't count, mister. I had to find a mask man. I can't see so good. I'm wearing a mask. I got to be sure. Dead sure I got the right man. There can't be no mistake. My general... The general who sent you here knew me. He knew one man. Take a look at this if you can. Let me hold you sitting up. Here, please, bullets are silver. The lone ranger. He would have bring an important message for me. Important stranger. The whole future the West may count on you. The general wants help. You may have anything I can give him. The general who sent you is the one man on earth who knows my identity. General Custer? Yes. Where's the message? It's here. Shirt pocket. Sealed. Where is Custer now? To the north of here. Here's the message. I could do with some more water now.  Here. The men with Williams, Colonel Williams, they need you. Custer sent word to Williams. Oh, that water helps me plenty. William should be looking for you. Very well. That message will tell you the whole thing. They're light enough for the moon to read it. Yes. He's addressed me by name. I wouldn't know. The general said he would never use my name unless more than his life depended on it. That's the case right now. The president wants a West made safe. It's the president himself that's needing your help. The president. He was told by Custer. Told him he could count on you. Can you make out the message? I'm reading it. Your horse be all right soon. I'm sure glad of that. This can't be possible. The Indians have rifles. Oh, they have. They sure enough have. And heaven only knows where they got them. That's going to make it harder than ever to conquer them. I don't suppose Colonel Williams know they got them rifles. If he don't, they'll wipe them out long before he can get to Little Bear River. Where the white folks need him. The Colonel is supposed to take troops to Little Bear River? Yeah, that's right. And you gotta show him. You gotta show him the pass through the hills. If he don't go that way, he'll meet them black. With the rifles? Yeah. If they didn't have the rifles, he might be able to wipe them out, but they won't have a chance now. How did Custer learn this? From Indian scouts that's on his side. Soldier, I'm going to take you to our camp. You can stay there until you have your strength back. I ought to get started right back. A nice rest and food, and you'll be ready. I almost forgot when I ate last. We can supply you with food enough to take you back to General Custer. You'd better sleep till morning, then start. Is there any reply to the message? Reply? What could there be? He knows what he wants me to do, and he knows it will be done. How will I prove I brought the message to you? Here, take this. The bullet. The silver bullet of the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger and Tonto returned to their camp with the messenger and made him comfortable, but they stayed only long enough to pack their horses. Then they started for the garrison commanded by Colonel Williams. Throughout the day and into the night, they raced across the plains, pausing only to water their horses. The Lone Ranger was riding, riding at the request of the one man who knew his identity, riding to carry out the desires of the president of his country. Come on, there's silver. We're most there now. We'll arrive at the port soon after sunrise, Tonto. Get him up, Scout. General Custer said that Colonel Williams was going to start for Little Bear River as soon as possible. The Indians know it, they'll try to stop him. I hope we're not too late in reaching him. Are you silver away? I think being the commander of the fort, you could at the other men handle things. I'm sorry, Sarah, but right now the Indian situation is too critical. I'll have to go with my men when they start for Little Bear River.  Not yet, son. You'll be in the army when you're older. Can I be a colonel like you? Well, Uncle Sam will have something to say about that. Do you think Billy and I will be better off here in the fort if we try and start for the next town east of here? You'll best stay right here, Sarah. How long do you think it will take to fix things up over at Little Bear River? I shouldn't be gone more than a couple of weeks. Where's Captain Mills? I told him we'd report here first thing in the morning. But they just sounded revelry. Then why isn't he here? There you see, you always fret for nothing. Good morning, Captain. Good morning, Captain. Sit down, Captain, and have a cup of coffee. Are the plans all made for the movement to Little Bear River? Yes, sir. Good. As it stands now, sir, we leave here at midnight and get to that Blackfoot camp to take them by surprise at about three tomorrow morning. Will you fight them? We'll take care of them, son. I wish there was some way to circle them. And lead them to move in on the fort? No, sir, they must be wiped out before we go on to Little Bear. The battle shouldn't be a stiff one, sir. We'll take them by surprise, and it'll be army rifles against bows and arrows. Of course. Now some coffee. No, thank you, sir. I'd like to speak to you privately. Yes? A scout came in during the night and brought a message for you. From whom? I'd like to speak privately, sir. Oh, yes, yes. Step this way. Mom? Yes, sir. When I get big, I'm going to do something about these Indians. Bless your heart, Billy. We're all hoping and praying there won't be need for fighting. What do you mean, Mom? It's a fight for things, just fighting and killing. If only there was some other way the Indians could be reasoned with. Our President wishes there were. His heart aches all the time because the soldiers must use force and arms to make the country safe. We hope that by the time you're a man, the Indians and white folks will make their peace just as the North and South made theirs and all live for the good of the nation. It's best to keep it quiet for the time, Captain. Yes, sir. Sam, what is it? What's happened? What do you mean? You look so strange. You've had bad news. There's nothing that directly concerns us, Sarah. What's this? Who are we? Yes? Colonel, who is this flashback? I've come for a personal word with you, Colonel Williams. He wouldn't unmask or hand over his weapons, sir, but he's got it carefully. How are you? Tell these men to put away their guns. He said you were expecting him, sir. That is not true. Haven't you had a message from General Custer? Concerning you? Yes. I've had no message of that sort. There, now take off that mask and hand over your arms. Stand back. I heard that white men were working with the Indians, Colonel Williams. Yes. State your business at once. I was given the message from General Custer. He sent me to you, the Blackfeet of Rifles. And if you proceed as you had planned, you'll be trapped. Rifles? That can't be true, sir. If it were, one of our scouts would have reported it. Where is General Custer? He sent a messenger to me. He was moving toward Little Big Horn. And said what? That I was to come here and show you a mountain trail that would take you around the Blackfeet so you could move in the Little Bear River without being wiped out in a battle against them. They know your plans and will be waiting for you. It's my belief, sir. This is a trap. Where is this letter you say you received? I've destroyed it. Destroyed it? The only evidence that you come here in good faith? General Custer used my name in addressing me, Colonel Williams. He's the only man who knows my identity. And why do you choose to conceal your identity? I've found that I can accomplish more in helping to build the west if I'm unknown. Colonel Williams, sir. Speak orderly. You men keep this stranger well covered. Yes, sir. Just before he rode into range, one of the sentries saw him through an opening in the woods to the north. And at that time, there was an Indian with him. Is this the truth? It is. Who's the Indian? His name is Tado, and he's my friend. I thought it best for him to stay back so your men wouldn't open fire. All Indians are looked on as enemies right now. And most of them are. But this is wasting time, Colonel Williams. If you receive the message, General Custer would descend you. You must know your orders. I told you I received no such message. I've never known Custer to break his promise. General Custer is dead. Dead? The general? Word came during the night. He was led into a trap, perhaps just as you're trying to lead me into one. General Custer. He met 6,000 Indians, and every one of his men were wiped out. You must have known about this, or you wouldn't have used his name to try and win our confidence. You chose a man who couldn't deny what you said. That's why I know word from you. You came here hoping to lead us into the just the same trap as Custer must have. I did not. Colonel Williams, what can I do to prove I'm telling you the truth? Here, these silver bullets, do they mean anything? Silver bullets? No, why should they? My horse, Silver, have you heard of him? No. Isn't there a man in your detachment who has lived for some time in this part of the country? But no, if there were, you wouldn't have required me as a guide. Put this man under arrest. Colonel Williams. And take off that mask. You're under arrest. Wait, stand back. Put down those guns. I'm not going to be taken where I won't be able to help carry out the last instruction I received from General Custer. Hand over those guns or we'll order you shot down. Colonel, wait just a moment. Pa, I heard about Silver. Be quiet, son. There will take Billy into the house. If this man starts shooting... You needn't be afraid of that, Colonel. Pa, that's the man old lefty told about. There will take the boy away. Won't you listen to your son, Colonel Williams, the fate of your troops may depend on it. Give this man five seconds to drop his guns, then open fire on him. I'll not take five seconds. Come on, Silver. Stop it! Stand clear. I'm not being taken away. Come on, Silver. Away! There's Colonel writing to me this. We can count on him. Get him out of the house. Tell him that just the Colonel won't trust us. I destroyed that message. Didn't think I'd need it. But we do now. We've got to get into hiding with the time. Then we've got to find a way to get those troops a little bare in safety. Come on, Silver. The curtain falls on the first act of our thrilling non-ranger drama. Before the next exciting scenes, please permit us to pause for just a few moments. Now to continue our story. The Colonel suspected a trap, and when the lone ranger rode away, he gave no order to follow. The day was spent preparing for the march at midnight. The march that would end in death for every soldier under Colonel Williams, unless the masked rider could find a way to stop them. That evening in the Colonel's home, his wife said... Billy has told so many stories about the masked man, Sarah. Why did you let the boy talk like that, Sarah? That old scout you used to have told him about the lone ranger. He has an Indian friend named Tonto and a horse named Silver and Silver Bullets just like that stranger had. Perhaps he was sincere. I'll take no chances. Custard sent word all right, well and good. But he didn't. Billy getting ready for bed? Yes. I want to say good night to him and goodbye. Yes, dear. We leave here at midnight. And if things go according to schedule, I should be back inside of ten days or two weeks. We... We'll be waiting, Billy and I. Well, son, we won't see each other again for a few days. Why, sure. What's the matter, little soldier? I... I don't want you to go away. What? Now, see here, son. You wouldn't want us to let these redskins make a lot of trouble in Little Bear, would you? No, sir. Now, come on. I... I'm afraid. Afraid? Now, what sort of talk is that for a soldier? We're going to make short work of this trip. And I'll... lie down. My prayers. Oh, sure. Sure thing. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. God bless the president of the United States and God bless mothers and papa and the Lone Ranger. The Lone Ranger. I wonder. At the stroke of midnight, the bugle was sounded and men and horses fell into the ranch ready to push forward to Little Bear and the Indian trap ahead. Meanwhile, the Lone Ranger and Tonto drove near the fort and the Colonel knew those Indians were waiting in ambush and knew they were armed with rifles before he led his men right to the place. He had time to sound a retreat. That's right. He might be able to find his way through the mountain trail and get past the savages if he were warned. Him not listened to warned. He can't help hearing the warning I'm going to give him. But Tonto would be far better if he had a guide to take him through the mountains. That's why we're going to separate here, Kimosami. Where we go? We know about where the Indians are waiting. I'm going to ride a half a mile ahead of the troops. When they get close to the Indians, I'll charge the camp. The Indians will have to start firing and that'll warn the army men. What happened to you? That doesn't matter. Tonto, go. Not you. No, Kimosami. You've got to stay back. The Colonel will need you as a guide. You stay back. You go. You'll not come back alive. Neither would you. That's not matter. Maybe Tonto...  Tonto, make them fire. Tonto, you and I have ridden a long trail together and shared everything. This is one thing I'll not share with you. Tonto, ride to India. There's one thing that can never be changed. You were born an Indian. It isn't justice that you should be the one to be killed by your own people to help the white man. Them, bad Indians. Not bad, Tonto, not always. They just haven't learned to think and live and understand things as white folks do. They must be taught. Tonto, go. You will not get killed. General Custer sent that message to me and I'm the one to go. Now, army, find way through trail alone. What? We go together. But there's no need. Only few red men get chance to die to save army. I understand, Kimosabi. Long time we ride same trail. Now, we go to end at same time. There's just one way that I could stop you, Tonto.  If you want it so, we'll attack the savages together. Not keep good. Army, come this way. Plenty soon now. We'll wait right here. Oh, Tonto. As soon as the horses or the troops are heard, we'll start again and keep ahead of them. But if you're determined to go with me, we'll have to tell the Colonel how to get through the mountain trail. We'll wait and let him overtake us just before we make the break to attack the savages. The lone ranger and Tonto waited in the saddle, firmly convinced that this would be their last ride together. But both of them were ready to meet the end with the same great courage they had shown through all their travels and adventures. An hour passed. The troops could be heard in the distance. Then the masked man and his Indian companion rode on. Now and then Colonel Williams at the head of his column was able to see the two faint shadows on the trail. There's that couple again, Colonel Williams. Yes, I see them. Curious? I wonder who they are, sir. They seem to keep just that same space between us. Almost like an omen of some sort. Do you give any serious thought to what that masked man said about the Indians having firearms? I have tried to consider his remarks from both angles, Captain. He might have told the truth, but it's equally likely that he was sent to lead us into a trap. That was my conclusion. It's hard to say. After the little big horn massacre, however, we can take no chances on following strangers.  Exactly. Those two seem to have hold it, sir. Well, perhaps we'll learn who they are. Out of our own scouts, I'm sure of that. It's true. Huh? Oh, I was a bit lost in thought. They have hold it. They're waiting for us. If I can only have been sure. Sure? Sure of what, sir? They have hold it. If he had only had the letter. I beg your pardon, sir. Or of someone other than my son knew of him. You were speaking about that masked man again. And I'm hanged if that doesn't look right. A head? Yes. That horse appears to be white. It is the masked man. He's holding up his hand. He wants to speak to us. Colonel Williams. Pass the word to Holland. Go there. Holland! Holland! Holland! Two guns in his hands, and the fire of the first move to capture me. Who? Who? You again. Colonel Williams, I gave you Custer's message. They're Indians camped on the valley just beyond. They know you're coming and they're waiting for you. You tried to tell us that before. They're armed with rifles and they're plenty of ammunition. You'll circle to the south and take the trail through the mountains. You'll get past them and reach Little Bear in safety. More likely we'll run into the Indians. You mentioned on the trail in the mountain. I'm addressing your Colonel. What you say may be true, but we're going straight ahead. In case you have reason to change your mind, Colonel, let me advise you about the mountain trail. Do south from here. You'll come to a pile of huge boulders topped by a pedestal of stone. Turn there and break into the mountains heading due west. In three miles, you'll hit a stream. And the trail runs alongside this to the top of the range. Then a northwest course will take you to Little Bear River. This truth has ended. We have no intention of taking your advice. Colonel Williams, we're riding ahead of you. The firing you'll hear will be the rifles of the Indians. If that doesn't convince you that I've told you the truth, then I'll have done all that's in my power to do. That sounds big. I suppose you're going to ride in the midst of these Indians and attack them single-handedly. No, Captain. I didn't think so. Not alone. Tother was with me. Do you mean to say... I mean I've done all I can do, except what I hope would not be necessary. Come on, Silver. Come, Tother. Get him up, Scout. Tother, Silver, how are you? Then, Tother, many fools. I hope this isn't going to be in vain. Engine in valley. Just head. Make as good a fight as you can, Tother. Make those Indians fire guns. Let the army know we told the truth. There's the valley. Me knocks the engine. But they'll be there. They kept the place dark. We find them. There. Look. Oh, now, Tother. Help them, Tother. Let the engine have them, Silver. Help them all, boy. Engine get horse. They look for an army. We took them by surprise. They're all turning out now. This is it, Tother. This is the end. The Indians, routed from their hiding places, were compelled to attack the lone Ranger and Tother. But taken by surprise, they barely had a chance to leap to their horses before the mighty Silver was among them. The white horse reared high, then whirled, sidestepped, and spun, using all that tricks the masked man had taught him. The sharp Silver shot hoops rose high, then lashed down at the enemies who crowded close to him. In such close quarters, the Indians had difficulty bringing their rifles to bear, and many of their shots brought down their own men. Keep fighting, Tother. Keep it going as long as we can. Engine all round us now. To leave no chance for escape, but let them know they're fighting. Finally, the savages drew knives and tomahawks and fought close to the masked man and Toto. The lone Ranger and Toto were both wounded. Then, when the end seemed close at hand, a new sound split the night. The clear tones of a bugle, a new burst of firing accompanied by a thunder of 600 horses hoos, announced the coming of the troops. Colonel Williams had given the order to charge. This was no army taken by surprise. It was a battalion of grim men plunging to the attack and to the rescue. Slashing, hacking, fighting their way to the lone Ranger and Toto, the soldiers carried them to safety. Then the fight was short. The Indians realized they were beaten, and those who survived took flight. Good fight, men. But where's the masked man? Here he is, sir. He ain't hurt bad, sir. Nothing serious. You... Will you accept my apologies? That's all right, Colonel Williams, but you were to take the mountain trail.  Toto, where's Toto? Me, me here. How live. Toto, I didn't think we'd see another sunrise. My wife and son, I must send word to them. Your son, sir. He's the one who told you. He is. Let me take the message to them. The word that you've met and conquered the Indians. Billy would be glad, Lone Ranger, if it were you who brought that message. Toto, we've kept faith with General Custer. That's right. And our President's confidence in us has been justified. I'll see you. The story you have just heard is a copyrighted feature of the Lone Ranger Incorporated.


So we're going to start lightning talks and if you organize a conference, get to go first. So Dean had to leave so I'm going to do a talk as Dean.  Hi, I'm Dean Hudson. I go by Dean Earle on Twitter. So I'm Dean Hudson. I go by Dean Earle on Twitter. I look like this. I work for Subhawk. Shane and Ben asked me to give some music for the party. So I did and I'm a nerd so I wrote a shell script and gave it to an adjust. And it's about 16 hours worth of music from our S3 account. That's the URL which is hard to remember so Shane made a redirect URL. And you all can go download that music from not right now. So just save that URL and there's 16 hours of awesome Subhawk changes. This is what a ladle looks like that can be used by anyone. I'm just saying. Hey guys, I'm here so I'm going to actually talk to you today. This is going to be quick though. So yeah I'm just going to paint the library that I wrote which is called Katchy which is supposed to be Japanese for catch. Take that with a grain of salt. It's basically a port of a really really excellent Ruby tool. It's a dev tool that someone would call Mail Katchy. I don't know if you guys read about it but basically you set it up. It's a local SMTV server essentially.  It's really cool it comes in handy as a tool. So hitting on the advice I think that someone said yesterday hey if you see something see you can write it into something else. So this was written using Gidette machine and Ruby and it was great. And I was like yeah this sounds like a cool project, a cool note project. So I rewrote it. I ported it to notes called Katchy. It's an open source. It's on GitHub. And just putting a little demonstration so this is it. And I just wrote I'm using a little Ruby. So having me writing mail in JavaScript is hard. The mail chat that we have in Rails world is super freaking awesome so we'd be happy about that. So yeah I don't know if you saw there was a little ground modification and the active zoom here.  I'm Dave. This is Adam. I met many of you last night. I apologize. We were first substantial and we want to tell you about a tool that we built and we'd like to share with you and maybe you'd be interested in it as well. Anyone care to try to pronounce this? This is an alibis. The Never New Code Analysis Tool. It's a professional twice over video. Basically it uses some gems to do code metrics over time. Basically a read plus vlog of a git. It uses the same syntax you're used to for navigating the git graph. And it runs in Ruby 1.9. You guys have seen this before. My computer is called strudel. I don't know why. How do I run it? You might ask. Well you just type in elephants. And if you don't give it any arguments it will just run against basically whatever your current probably topic branches and it will run against a origin master. Or optionally you can give it a git name or a revision by name, a shah, or any one of those sort of ref finder syntax phrases. Alright so this is probably a little hard to see. It's small, but just an example of the Nautifest output. Total score. Lower is better. Like golf. It shows new problems. These are problems that have been introduced since whatever the previous revision is that you're diffing against. So in this case we're diffing Nautifest's version 0.4 versus 6 commits before that for whatever reason because it makes a nice output. Then we'll also see problems that were removed or solved. Basically code that was made better by the metrics of rick and flog. Nautifest itself is actually just a glorified script so it couldn't do anything that it does without two awesome tools rick and flog. Ryan I'm sure it can tell you about flog and rick is also something awesome that you should check out. We're trying to make analogous better. There's a few things that we could do right now that just runs against app and live. It would be nice if we could, you know, tell it to run against this folder or that folder. If we could use things like Rails with practices or any sort of other metrics we could get. The scoring right now is for the arbitrary, adding plugins, output formats. And even better would be having other people help us build this thing. So that's pretty much it. Like I think it just happened. Now we're going to go dig a hole into this Christ the Lord. Yeah. So I'm here to talk to you about chutes showing you my first slide. It's not what I wanted. Not what I wanted at all. I'm really good at keynote. Alright, so, short and somewhat accurate history of this thing that we're doing right now. I'm Ben. I do stuff. You may remember me from such conferences as this conference. Once upon a time there were these guys. They were in some states south of here. And they thought, you know what, we should have a conference. We should totally do this conference. We can get people from Oregon and Washington and maybe California could screw those guys to come and hang out and we'll talk about Ruby and maybe we'll drink some beer. Maybe we'll have a really good time. And so they put this whole thing together and it was called, well it was a great idea, and it was called Ruby on Ants. So later, in San Francisco, there were two other guys from some other states. You know, not Oregon. Well, I love Oregon and it's great anyway. And this happened. I said, I want to do a conference, and Shane said, hey, go get Ruko. It was really cool, right? And I was like, yeah, tell us.  All right, cool. So, some time passed. And I'm talking like months. Yeah, and we slacked off quite a lot. And then it was March.  So, get all the sponsors. Playing a party. And wow, this is really damn hard. So I want to take a moment because I want to show you what got me, oh man, I'll explain. So this is Karin. You may recognize her from the registration desk. She's doing a face here. I'll get to it in a second, but she's eating, you know, those sushi kits that came out recently that you like to make your own sushi candy? They're gross as hell. Do not try. They will make you make that face. This face. The official emoticon of Cascade.  So suddenly, I get this alert.   I'm out of time. Conference starts in 15 hours. I should point out, if I didn't already, this is my experience. This was not Shane's. I'll let him tell you this. So I got 15 hours left. What am I going to do? I was also making the face the whole time, but I couldn't really fit it on the slide. So hold on a second. You know what? I don't think else I can do. I'm done. I'm not done. But I can't change anything. It's inevitable. So, all that happened. Fast forward to tomorrow, when we start planning this next year. In my house, I have many labor-saving prices. I've got some washing machines now, right? I've got a dishwasher. I've got a microwave. I've got an oven. But it's gas and convection though. But it's also the future. And we've got cool things in the future. We've got robot cars. We've got pocket computers. And we have network play switches.  I use Insteon. And so they've got these switches and dimmer things. They've got control pads. They've got IO kits. This is up in my garage door. So I can open and close it wherever. And if it's open for too long, it goes and says, hey, I'm still open. I've got outlets. And, uh... You've got a break. And so to control all this stuff, I use this software called Indigo. It's made by Perceptive Automation. This is a bunch of all the switches in my house and other stuff. Got a fireplace up there. Now this deployment is on the legs. It's actually the toilet lights way. You can set up scenes in this. So this is a scene to turn off all the lights that are not upstairs. It turns them all off. You can also set up, like, I want it a little bit on for some moonlight. You can do triggers. I copied this. I don't have a hot tub. This guy's got a hot tub, so you can email his hot tub and have it warm up when it's going off. This other guy has a long. I don't have a long, so he's got a sprinkler. And then there's also with the Indigo software as an iPhone. So I can, you know, I can go and change lights in my house.  And so, you know, like, when I'm watching TV, I don't want to go fiddle with dimmers, so I've got a thing for that. I want to go take a shower. I want the fan to turn on and then turn off after I'm done. And if it's dark, all the lights will turn on, so I've got a lot of stuff. You know, if you burn something at the kitchen, you can turn all the fans on and bed stuff. You can turn on the fireplace from your, like, private rooms. It's going to be cold. You can turn the fireplace on. And then, you know, one for bedtime, so you can turn everything else and then off that I don't want to do. But there's still some stuff that I don't have to set up right. I still want to do. I don't have a thermostat for the fireplace, so I've got all this stuff. And one of these days, when I'm done doing the conferences, I'm going to actually figure out how to stick the piece together. I've got a receiver, so the Indigo can also control my tunes. So I'm going to set that up to go and say, hey, turn on my receiver. Send it to the AirTunes thing. And, you know, set the volume right so we can play stuff. I have a lot of integration, so it'll better know when I come and go. So I can turn on lights if I get home and, you know, dark out. And then also, let's do some watering. So I've got some balconies and I want to go in kind of like a little bucket, you know, an aquarium pump, and then there's out the controller so you can go and water the plants that are up to go and carry the watering can around everything. And so I bought all this stuff at my home store. They've got great customer service and the control stuff is at the second automation. So if you want to know anything else about that, you can ask me. Thank you. Hi, I haven't rehearsed this at all. Hold on. Hold on. So today, Rich and I were doing some calculations at lunch. We just wasted $60. Thank you. My name is Aaron Patterson. I work for a company called ATT. My title there is Senior Software Engineer. Please steal this joke. You're allowed to use it both with a word of warning as it doesn't work in foreign countries. Some foreign countries, it doesn't translate in Japan and if you say you can't really just think you're Mr. Software. You can find me on the internet is at Tenderlove. Evie, my fiance, says that everybody needs to have their Twitter avatars put on their badges because you can't recognize anybody. So if you're seeing me on the internet, this is what I look like on the internet. And that, I don't actually have them look that as a wig. I wanted to point out something about the Cascade review website that I really like is if you highlight all these, they turn pink. It's beautiful. I don't know if Shane did that on purpose or not, so I love it. So, we got three minutes. So they asked for honest feedback and I noticed the trends throughout the talks today that we're all like talking about our feelings and I want to talk about ladles. We need to talk about the history of ladles and then as we move forward through time, America was invented. And then after America was invented, being left-handed was invented. Those came from Europe. 19th century by a San Franciscan monk. His name was, his name was Alexander Layle. And because back in those days everybody drank beer but they drank it out of barrels. And the only thing that they could use to drink beer out of these barrels was spoons. So all of them would gather around the barrels and drink out of them with these spoons and eventually they along gave it the handle and then made the bowl bigger so that they could drink more out of it. But if you notice from the timeline like left-handedness hadn't been invented yet so they came up with these which helped them drink more because it's got a little spout on the end of it and it looked like it would go like this they would put the beer in So in the year 1, 2, 3, 4 the San Franciscans moved to California and then America was invented after that and ladle became ladle so it's felt like that and then in the year 2005 left-handedness was invented and if you read on Wikipedia you'll see that these ladles can create difficulties for left-handed users so I want to show you a demo which is like so I'm left-handed and I have to use it like this so my beer it's like it's very inconvenient where I own beer like this but it's very very difficult anyway they asked for honest feedback so I gave them my honest feedback which was all the ladles here are right-handed ladles I can't use them for anything they were very kind and they replaced every one of the ladles with ambi-handed ladle that made me very happy so even though I had to talk about my feelings there are happy endings here there's one more happy ending that I want to share it's between the I don't know if you're at the party last night it was between the cutest couple that I saw at the party last night and I wanted to rename them like celebrity couples so I think that their name is Next Cascade so I want to talk about how am I going to do that to you guys one of them is constantly bitching about left-handedness and the other one's constantly bragging how awesome all this shit is or I want to talk about Gem Sandbox Gem Sandbox is a plugin that I released recently it extends RubyGems to provide a theme private install for command line tools things like flog and flay they have dependencies they're compiled to C and they have versions skew eventually a flog and flay don't because they're friends and so what this does is it installs everything including dependencies and the private repos and it gives you command line wrappers and you can put wherever you want so you can run these things and not have all those gems and their dependencies in your global gem list so here is an example of Gem Sandbox install play and it installs all those things into a private place and tells you what to do to get that into your path here's an example where a gem has plugins that go along with it and one goes installed with the other separate gems CSA Gem Sandbox plugin I'm going to talk about those in a second and it installs all that shit into a private place and you copy that into your path and you don't have those in fact in your global gem space that's it that's all it does so Omifocus is how I get shit done and it is a wonderful tool how many people know and ever use Omifocus people with their hands up with the ones who get shit done so this is one view of Omifocus I'm focusing in on my whole project and you can see that I've got tasks in there and some of them have little tags on the front like RF and some number those are tickets from Rubyforge and we've got plugins for Rubyforge GitHub Redmine Aja wrote one for RT and Bugzilla and is there a zero one maybe I don't know I haven't gotten a working for work because God I hate you so here are some of my tickets for working on Ruby and here are some of my tickets for working on RubyGems on GitHub and this command line tool I have called Omifocus syncs all of these things into my Omifocus so that I can categorize and work on things in one place so all of those tickets come over automatically and fucking rules because it just works and here you can see we're running it and it's scanned through like a zillion projects on GitHub and then Redmine or Rubyforge and it added a ticket two of them one from Rubyforge one from GitHub and you can see that here and it's got a link back to the original system and it just works so if you have Omifocus you want this and if you use things I just want to put this idea out there that it's totally possible to write a things plugin for Omifocus and make it sync to your things and so on and so on and so on all you need to do is this Gemsnetbox plug in Omifocus on Omifocus GitHub talk to that stuff off and you're good to go thank you well we're waiting for that my name's Lee I work for One Hub do anything special to get this to show up on the screen that's like a keynote so by infinity there we go my god sorry guys there we go my presentation's called Backbone.js Looks Cool I just haven't had a chance to mess with it yet that's what I've been hearing from a lot of people who writes a lot of JavaScript in their job in addition to Ruby excellent I've found that I've been writing about 50% or more JavaScript per day and Backbone.js is awesome and it makes my life way easier and I'm going to show you a little bit about it what is Backbone it is a small JavaScript library it's got minimal dependencies it's only hard dependency it's underscored up JS which I'll touch a little bit more on a little bit later optionally it also depends on jQuery Zepto or sorry jQuery or Zepto and JSON too and those are only if you want to serialize stuff to and from the server what it does it provides basic MVC on the client what it isn't is a monolithic JavaScript framework like Sproutcore Cappuccino where you need basically total buying for your application so you can add it to an existing application pretty easily you don't need a rearchitect or a whole entire app in order to use it also it's not MVC what so the idea of MVC is different than what you're probably used to with Rails but don't let that deter you they actually rename the controller section to router because that's basically what it does in the new version you don't need to worry about that you can only use the parts you need I personally use the collections, models and views extensively and I will show you what that looks like so this probably looks pretty like a paragraph tag you've got an anchor with cool stuff in it and you've got a script tag right on your page with code that does things what are you doing so you know you click this toggle is blind whatever so how do we make that better well what we're doing here now instead is creating a cool stuff view and that's basically a backbone view object that encapsulates all of the behavior for that view and it doesn't necessarily look a whole lot better but you start to see real dividends when you end up with lots of code in that view that's manipulating different DOM elements and you don't exactly know where the code lives where to go to each one of your partials in order to actually edit it so where did the code go so what we do is we create a cool stuff view that's a backbone view object and observable events so if you define click cool stuff and then the second part of that key value is show cool stuff that's actually going to automatically find a click event on something that matches that selector to my method show cool stuff right here and you'll also notice that I've got this dollar sign you get a nice little convenience method which is a scoped selector so you know if you've got a much reusable templates you can name things with classes and it makes things a lot easier to deal with why is that better so like I said the benefits stack up you've got lots of view code you know where your code lives and it's cashable so we use jammit which is a really great tool they're also you know putting sprockets somewhere else three ones these files end up getting concatenated when they go to the server the user downloads files.js they can live on a cdn close to them we can set far future expires on it they cash it forever and their pages are a lot lighter they only have to pull in what they need so there's also models and collections they allow you to keep your model state separate fetch and push state to the server I've bound change name event to a method called change name and right underneath here we create a new widget we set its name to bar and like magic we get a little console output that tells us the name is now bar so let's see we're doing this in our view now we've actually created a widget interview and when someone actually changes the name of widget when someone changes the widget name something actually so we can change the representation on the view and to show you what that actually looks like we're using this in our one hub application so we've got this link indicator right here and I've enabled the link if I click disable right here you'll notice that this guy goes away and what it actually did was it pushed something up to the server that serialized the state and everything and also I'm able to reflect that and it makes doing stuff like that super super easy you can see again right here we've got this button in two different places and it gets reflected in both of these places with almost no effort on my part so that's cool I need my keynote again alright hi alright other cool stuff collections can event views can render themselves models can easily sync with the server also underscore.js is awesome and you get that free try it you'll like it thanks I'm talking into the mic now oh there we are alright I'm Jeff Lembeck working at UI evolution I'm here to talk about jQuery mobile show some of the features real quick quick example of this first here's a built-in button and here's a built-in list view that they have here's their built-in collapsible feature you can just click things and show up it has it's built off of a lot of ideas that jQuery UI has and so you can use its theme ruler capabilities I tend to like this theme right here because it's yellow shank it also has other things in it many of its form elements in it that are built in and set for touch UI so it's not set for clicking like normal so you can use things like this slider alright so it's not that impressive to see that stuff alright so that first page the first couple of pages put together here are just a matter of saying be good upon so I just throw a literal button on a link and it automatically creates that button element for me at that point I don't have to worry about writing the styling for it and it fits it fits any page and that you put it on it will fit on any type of well a majority of good mobile browsers out there anything from iOS to Android Opera Mini Blackberry even Blackberry um if you'd like to do something like the list that I was showing you just put that you want data roll list view and it sets it up if you want it to be inset like mine was where it gives the board to surround it data inset equals true if you don't want that if you want a far stretching sign you just take that away you put hangers on the links and it will give the indication that it is a clickable item for a theming you just put what theme you'd like it has as I said before it has something like jQuery UI theme roller set up so you can set up to 26 different themes that you would like for your elements and for your attributes sit down talk with the designer write out everything you'd like and then you can just sort of data theme equals certain letter that you set up for it it will automatically know where to go in the CSS when it draws the page to grab that in order to set up the whole field contain and then you just throw in the range and you create a dialogue just click data rel dialogue on a link and that doesn't change the hash this is all set up and hash navigation the interesting highlights thanks for the work done the interesting highlights are that every you have the ability to donkash any page that you bring up so if you cache a page right there and then you go back to it several times over which I have to do with the pages that have static content on them from that point forward you will be able to access that page without having a request to your back end severe severe speed increase that is going to be a feature that is selectable soon because right now that is something that they force on all pages and it's kind of like hash all the things where it had 70 something around or around to it and took down the app after it had 70 pages cached on the DOM but there's a lot to talk about with it get a page and where the project is they have an actual page itself I live in the IRC room for it I have submitted several bugs and talked about and worked on the project quite a bit and hacked my own versions of it if you have any questions about it coming by me come around thanks pretty much everyone here in ruby is going to have something on the web at some point basically yeah so basically everyone here who uses ruby there's a good chance you're going to be on the web at some point and there's some people here I was talking to that were a bit interested in site monitoring so there is a type of site monitoring uptime cover issues software issues performance we're going to talk about the top ones performance you need to use something like your logs or develop so the uptime is can you reach the site to the gatherer pages is it timing up and the best way to monitor this is internal services site uptime is fantastic it'll SMS you it'll email you ping them unfortunately you can also have customers telling you so the one thing you have to be careful of is when you choose monitoring age we don't all want to use the landing page because we have some customers who have landing pages that pull multiple RSS feeds they take 30 seconds to render they're pulling in sports scores they're pulling in Twitter feeds if you have the site monitor hitting that it can be very expensive and you can actually denial of service your own start up website because you're monitoring it so and you should also be caching your landing page so you have to pay you put in is nothing cash you have to remember that there's going to be a load balancer so ping don't actually will ping and if it gets a 500 it will ping again and if it gets two in a row it'll signal you so it's you know you might have a problem with a load balancer so if you get to an alert you might want to look into it as I mentioned with internal feeds RSS hospitalization people use Facebook connect or the LinkedIn if those sites go down they can sometimes interfere it's not your site that's having the problem it's an external so one of the things we recommend is something that Core built sooner or later basically install it there's also an engineering version and we have a little doc on it but if you're not using Rails that's fine we love that right camping who uses camping just you know couple lines something simple remember that a lot of these type of time tools use head so you have to have a special case head shouldn't be turn anything otherwise the rack will blow up in your face to not track you know sent them as well so you can have errors in your code mismigrations locked databases server issues external network issues and such a track record and you won't tell me to catch this you do not mention want to anything that but you sometimes want to set up monitors for APIs externally like maybe hit Facebook or hit the API for LinkedIn because you want to know when something you're relying on go down so that you know if people start calling up you say okay it's because Facebook's down you know the world's ended you guys work for companies with beautiful websites and corporate identities and they make their custom 500 pages well make sure they do not make a custom 500 page you do not want to have a single 500 page you want to have multiple 500 pages so that you can show something if it's a server error so you know it's an application if the series is not available if you're doing a deploy maintenance that means the web server is going but the way all that behind it is stuck a lot or something like that and at the time out again that gateway the way all that is down and that gateway it's stuck and so you can do something like you know you have your page and then for you know 5002 have it in a different color when customers fill it up you can say we have an error page what color is it or you know what does it say and you know it looks nicer than you know having a big you know gateway time other whatever but if you can get the customer to send you a screenshot of the URL it makes debugging a lot easier because there's so many different causes for our site to go down so there's a lot of gray areas that you have to watch out for so one of the things that you'll also run into is that you go to the site it's up other people go to the site so there are a few services all the way you can go to type in your domain name and they'll hit a few different locations you just saw the presentation in reverse hello I thought no conferences complete unless I guilt you about documentation no no conferences complete I've learned this now this year about presentations tests are documentation we say that a lot and Wikipedia even says that I noticed that of course when I was preparing the slides I thought I'm going to Wikipedia to make me sound more intelligent and it helped look at this I mean these characters can name you yada yada right so our tests are documentation but our tests are not in our documentation not at all and it says again if you read a little further on Wikipedia you could if you didn't click on the first link and you're now reading a little further which I always click on the first link but their narrative documentation is more susceptible to dripping so like all that stuff that you write above and document that's wonderful what about the tests that we're writing but the tests again that we write are not in our documentation we have some cool documentation tools I use the art thanks to a friend that pointed out to me a while back and I started learning how to do some templating for it and things like that but I noticed again like when the documentation passed into my documentation it's like it just keeps on driving past it says I can't I can't pull on this documentation for you let me give you a little side of how to do the Ruby I'm a quality assurance or I was a quality assurance engineer and then I became an SDED and I started working on this cucumber test suite to test this Java Grails application and so I started dealing with a lot of cucumber test suites and features but what was really cool about it was presenting documentation for product owners like the idea that I'm writing tests and then other people can see them but upon this cucumber those guys they thought okay product owners are going to use VI to write the features or to view them are they going to check out from the repository I don't know if they thought that through I still haven't thought that I don't know if they thought it through some guys did so people can push their features and show them up on the web what I started working on shortly after kind of building this huge test framework this feature set was a yard plug-in for a cucumber so it pulls in all your feature files and it will actually map them all to like their step definitions and you can actually visualize your features that you've written so you even get things like the step definitions the transforms that they're using you get it or switch my steps step definitions all these things that are normally there in the upper right-hand corner you can remove a few things those are a little extreme I wouldn't use all these things check it out if you're using it it saved this one guy's life when I talked to him at a conference before and if you have any suggestions they'll totally add them I've kind of left the project because I left the company but anyways so I started playing with RSpec as well to say like can I pull that in the documentation man this is awesome look at this I can write a spec and it sits there like a declaration like look that's really cool it says it should be a pig and then it shows an example that's like a living breathing example sitting right next to it I can play with even playing in test results so it isn't finished but I got the idea that some tests are in the documentation so I brought some of the stuff in there and I thought that was cool and I would really love if other people like this idea to help out with it like shouldn't we have more test frameworks be parsed and then pulled into the documentation and merged in such a way so cool I'd love to talk about it more maybe this is a bad idea maybe it's a good idea but I'd love to talk about it because I just thought of this idea when I started working that way and just thinking about product numbers and then I thought wow I'm using code too I'd like to see documentation that's actually the tests then I thought whoa there's also other files that we use that are really cool that I'd love to see some documentation for so I even went further with that wrong picture so I started playing with even like your your gem file and it would actually parse it and pull it into your documentation I even pulled in like a little graphic image that you can actually see the visualization I thought that would be kind of cool although the image is really wide but it also pulled in like your gems it gives you links to like your version numbers your documentation the project you have GitHub some last few commits even like issues that are perhaps open for the project and stuff like that I mean they're static but the idea was I thought we should move anything like into documentation anything at all and if you guys think that's a good idea I'd like to talk about it more and maybe help out if you have some ideas so thanks my name is Jonan and sometimes my slides pop up on you sometimes I pretend to be LeadBop on the internet because I am a little bit ironical and definitely anonymous don't tell anybody this is top secret but that's my website leadbop.com I am going to talk to you that you probably know already you're all going to die eventually perhaps not by Jonan the presentation is by Jonan but I am not actually in fact if you believe this gentleman here this is Ray Kurzweil for those of you who don't know it turns out that we will all be silent someday he has these pills available for sale on his website these are silent pills if you take them you will live long enough to become silent but that is neither here nor there assuming that you sit for your living it is most likely an ominous black monster is going to come and kill you this is part of an infographic that some of you may have seen somebody posted it to our camfire one day and I read through it because I just love statistics they are always 100% true and this is a good example so I am going to explain to you the exact nature of this this monster here today sitting increases your risk of death by up to 40% if you sit 6 hours per day you are 40% likely to die within 15 years then someone else who sits for 3 hours or less a day this doesn't it doesn't really matter if you are an ultramarathon and you run 100 mile marathons over mountaintops even people with vigorous physical activity outside of work who sit greater than than 3 hours a day have a double effectively risk of cardiac injury sitting makes us big bone I myself was not always as svelte as I am today and this is an example of where that came from that O.K. City doubled exercise rates roughly stayed the same between 1980 and 2000 and you could attribute some of that perhaps to diet or something else but like I said statistics are always fact and sitting time increased by 8% therefore we had found the cause how sitting wrecks your body the electrical activity in your leg muscles shuts off your leg stop functioning the muscles quit working your calorie burn for your entire body goes down to just incredible I'll explain a little bit more go back to the chart in a second after 2 hours your cholesterol drops by 20% over here you see that people this is the hand of the ominous black monster people with sitting jobs have twice the rate of cardiovascular disease you are twice as likely to die if you sit before you're living your insulin effect in this drops for 24% and risk of diabetes rises if you sit for 24 hours straight like that one time you drank all that jolten college this is me sitting I do not look happy I used to have hair and this one time I had cornrows and then I cut it all off and gave it away but this is my office I work at G5 in Bend, Oregon and this is from Luke's perspective Luke Sheridan over here since opposite me took this photo for me this is when I was sitting and looking angry I was mostly just posing with my bad ass hair view but this is me standing which is a good mediocre solution to the problem right if you go to a standing desk you're not sitting and it is significantly better for you actually to stand than to sit this is a walking desk of my own design I bought a treadmill and I took it apart and I put the base of the treadmill underneath my desk and I put this huge wonky control panel on top of my desk it turns out that this is about 90% plastic and metal and 10% electronics if that so I ended up taking apart all the metal and the plastic bits and now I just have the control panel up on my desk and it's quite handy this is the chart that I wanted to go back to that standing you can increase your energy burn by a small amount slightly less than chewing gum so if you sit and you're considering standing get some gum instead it is to work right so that really timing stairs is about as good as it gets for cardiovascular exercise they discovered that if you really want to get some good exercise run up and down a staircase a couple of times that's hard right we all know that so walking is pretty close to that hard but it really doesn't strain you in the same way I I invite you to try and code running up and downstairs I think it is less likely that you'll be successful so these are treadmill desks and you can purchase these at walkandcode.com it's just an arbitrary site I am not affiliated this I liked because they had the pairing version so and the problem of course is that these are very very expensive and I am very poor so what I did instead was I built my own and I can actually get out of here for just a second and I'll show you all my video that's me I have an immense small one for programming people so I had the luxury of pairing for about the past five years I don't actually work in Hashtag anymore it's a whole slab deck deal with it so two developers literally sitting side by side one piece of software at the same computer that's what their programming is right mostly so what it is today is something more akin to two developers actively consciously collaborating to develop piece of software at the same time and the reason I say that is because there are slow transitions in my slide deck but it can be one developer and this rubber duck this is actually surprisingly useful if you have some sort of token that you can talk to and get the idea out of it it works it's great two developers one keyboard one mouse no cups driving an alligator style two developers two keyboards two mice and a shared display this is what I've done most often and two developers two machines and a network connection actually works out really well remote pair programming so you need some sort of token it can be a living breathing token so this is two developers one machine two developers one machine and beer three developers so there is a rate of return that falls off eventually we try to work one time not so much so we were always a big fan and a cash rocket of everyone together and everybody carrying two humans live sitting side by side but then I wanted to go on vacation and I wanted to go up to Wisconsin which turned out to be a long-term thing whatever we did some remote configurations so what we needed were access to the view changes in real time the ability for you to develop the ability to communicate try to share the screen sharing get to see exactly what the other person sees high bandwidth requirements screen letting video team viewer get to see exactly what the other person sees high bandwidth requirements not free so downsides pluses I'm running low on power go quick keynote wants me to know I'm running low on power thank you keynote thank you


Hi there, this is James Swanik and you're listening to the Alcohol Free Lifestyle podcast where you learn how to take back control over alcohol and live a life of health, wealth, love, and happiness. Warning! You do get better looking when you quit alcohol. I'm telling you, don't, excuse me, I'm not warning you. When you quit alcohol, the toxins leave your face. They leave your skin. You have more clarity and energy and focus because the toxins stay in your skin for 7 to 10 days after you have a glass of wine or a beer or whatever your alcoholic drink is. And then when you eliminate those toxins, your skin starts to look the way that nature intended your skin to look and you just naturally get better looking. I'm James Swanik from the Alcohol Freedom Formula. Down below there's a free guide for you to get started in reducing or quitting alcohol. I'm telling you, I could put the whole moisturising skincare business out of business if everyone, or if I was able to communicate to everyone that the best way to have beautiful looking skin is to not drink alcohol and drink lots of water instead. That's it. You don't need to be buying these fancy moisturisers that Jennifer Aniston and Charlie's Theron and all these Hollywood stars are promoting with their Neutrogena or whatever it is. They're expensive moisturisers, oil of Yulei, I think it is. Honestly, you don't need any of that stuff. Truly you don't. Just reduce or quit alcohol and your skin will start to glow. Drink lots of water and your skin will start to feel hydrated and look hydrated and you will start to glow. Your body's largest organ is your skin.  Your skin starts to look weathered. It starts to look dry. It starts to look flaky. People start to notice you've got bags under your eyes. You start to age. They did this study in the UK that showed that people have more visible signs of wrinkles and crow's feet after a night of drinking. It makes sense because you're not sleeping well so you're not rejuvenated. Plus you're dehydrating your body's largest organ, your skin. And of course your skin's going to look dry and weathered. You're going to look old before your time. Do you want to look older than you need to look? Or do you want to look fresh and vibrant and rejuvenated and feel good all the time? I'll tell you, when I quit alcohol back in 2010, it was amazing. Within 30 days I lost 13 pounds of fat. People started to say to me, wow, James, you look great. What's happened if you lost weight, which I had. But a lot of it was my skin just looked really, really good. And it doesn't even have to look more than what nature intended it to look. It just looked the way that nature intended it to look all along. It's just that we're putting so much toxins and crap into our skin every time we drink that our skin looks more tired and more weathered and not as good as nature intended it always to look. So you do get better looking. It's amazing. Is it before and after photo somewhere here that maybe it's already come up or I'll show it to you. You can put it right now. Have a look at the before photo. Have a look at the after photo. See in that before photo my skin's tired, weather got bags under my eyes. I've got a double chin and I'm just unhappy and I just don't look good. Look at the photo next to it. Look at me now. I look the way nature intended me to look. It's not any more than what I should look but it's not any less.  It's showing up on your body. It's showing up in your face. So you want to get better looking, you don't need plastic surgery, you don't need fancy moisturizers, you don't need a nose job, you don't need any of those things. You just need to quit alcohol at the very least reduce it and start drinking a ton more water. It's incredible the transformation that you will have in your life and your energy clarity focus in your looks when you just give up the poison that is alcohol. There's lots of free resources down below to help you get started with that. Just the alcohol, cut out the alcohol, you will get better looking. Warning, you get better looking when you quit alcohol. All right, go get it done. Thank you so much for listening. I have some free stuff for you. If you go to JamesSwanick.com forward slash guide, I will send you my formula for reducing or quitting alcohol. If you'd like to watch the video versions of these episodes, then you can watch them at my YouTube channel which is at JamesSwanick. If you'd like to send me a direct message on Instagram, you can do so at JamesSwanick. If you would like to try a three day challenge, a free three day challenge, you can go to JamesSwanick.com forward slash three day challenge. If you would like to try the 30 day no alcohol challenge, you can go to 30 day no alcohol challenge. If you would like to schedule a 15 minute exploratory call with one of my coaches to see how we may be able to help you in your alcohol free journey, you can go to JamesSwanick.com forward slash schedule. And my request is if indeed you enjoyed this episode or you have enjoyed the podcast, would you please go ahead and rate the show in iTunes? And would you please write a review? A review might just be a sentence saying, great, listen, hey, this was fantastic. Oh, I really enjoyed this.  So yes, while it does help me to get ratings and to get reviews, you will actually be directly contributing to helping someone's life by having them discover this podcast. So if you are open to inspiring others and to helping me in the process, would you please go ahead and give this episode a ranking and would you please write a review? Thank you so much for listening and I will catch you on the next one.