Yo, yo, yo, just to take over Boss Talk Comedian Jesse McDonough and I'm here and this is, this is my take over now. Boss Talk has been tipping over by Comedian Jesse McDonough today. What we talkin' about? Me? Check it, check it, check it, check it, this is Unique House. This is your boy, your CEO, and I'm here with the lovely amazing official. Miss Jamaica, what's going on? None, none. You know my dad, we're all gone. I want you to stop what you're doing right now. Go like, subscribe, follow us on all social media platforms. You can mean our Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, Facebook, you name it, threads, you name it, we're on it. But if you want to see our visuals, you got to go over to our YouTube channel and not only subscribe, we want your subscription, but also we want your membership. Go ahead and sign up for our membership. How you do so is by going under any one of our videos and click the description section, and once you do that, you'll see a link that says sign up for our membership. Click that, follow all the instructions, and we thank you and we love you because y'all always say, how can we support the brand? That's how you can support the brand. Sign up for our membership. We love you and have a blessed day. Man, hey man, this guy right here, y'all. You guys know him. He's been on the show multiple times. Whether we was in Atlanta, well, we started out here with us in Dallas. He used to live here. He moved away. This guy is hard to keep up with. Always on the move, always working. Comedian Jesse McDonald. Yes, yes. Comedian Jesse McDonald. This is the takeover, baby. I'm back. In the building. Yes, without the beard. Without the beard, man. Grow man's status. You just got a little beard. Yeah, just a little beard. Just a little. Yeah, I couldn't have shaved it off. You know, I was going to shave this morning. I said, nah, just go with you. Man, hey man, it's live, man, to be able to see your move, man, and just what keeps you going? Like, you've been going to every city. You always on the road. I seen your stand up now. I know what it's about. You know what I mean? You real dope at what you do. Like what keeps you going? Man, to see the impact that I put on people, watching their faces once I come off stage and not knowing what a person going through, and to show people, hey look, just because you in a certain position or got a certain disability doesn't mean you can't do it. I sure may look. I can do it and try to hopefully motivate somebody else to do it. I had a question. So how many comedians with a disability are there? I don't know. I know it's Josh Blue. He got several palsy. Charles Walden, one of my favorite out of Philly. And them, not only two. Okay, because I've never seen, you're the only person I've ever seen. It probably be some more, but I don't know if they, I don't know if they're working like we're working or working like I'm working. Some of them get to that point where they be like, I'm disabled and I'm comfortable where I'm at. And you get some people that be like, they don't want to deal with the disabled because it's a liability. If they come on my show and they follow. That's what I was wondering. I was wondering why they don't get big because your comedy is amazing, right?  I was shocked. Appreciate it. But so I'm like, you should be so much bigger. I even said it to him. You should be a headliner. And I'm like, why is it that, why is it that you haven't gone to that stage? Is it because of the same thing when you just said, I'm like, is it because of the liability? They're scared that you might fall or it hurt yourself or it's different things like that. Do you think that, that can stop you from becoming that person? Yeah. But at the same time, sometimes you got to wait your turn. Sometimes God say, hey, look, it ain't your turn yet.  Then you, then it's your turn. Cause you look at it. I started off with Ali Sadiq. I moved from Ali Sadiq to Ricky Smalley. From Ricky Smalley, I was on the blues circuit. Then I went to the gospel circuit. Then I went back to the blues circuit. Then I linked with Kirwan Claiborne from Kirwan Claiborne. I linked up with Tim Bay and then I started linking up with other comedians to Carlos Miller's and stuff. But then it all came back. One of the biggest comedians I used to watch was Lavelle Crawford. Now I feature for Lavelle Crawford too now. Man. So it's building, it's building, it's just being patient and waiting your turn and just know when it's your, when it's your turn, you just be ready to go when you learn not to make the same mistakes that you made back then. Let me ask you this though. Let's go all the way back to what you just said. Ali Sadiq. Like I've been hearing this guy's name a lot lately. He's actually a friend of the show. I mean he's cousin. Cousin. Of a friend. Of a friend. Like my barber. Yes. This is his people. So Ali Sadiq, like how did you guys first link up and what, how did you, cause you said you went with him first. Yes. The first person never gave me an opportunity. How did you guys even end up linking up because you're from Arkansas. He's in Houston. Right. Yeah. He came, he's come to Arkansas every Monday night and host his comedy funny Mondays or whatever. And he was on stage one time and people was talking and he said, y'all think it's easy to come up here and stand up in front of you and talk or whatever. He said, you know what? I'm going to give y'all opportunity to come up here and let y'all see how it is. And if you ain't funny, I'm going to talk about you because people went up there. They weren't funny. He talked about them. I said, give me a chance. I was like, nah, don't let him up there. Ali said, nah, little handicapped dude ain't funny.  I went up there and I just talked about stuff that I went through in real life and it was funny. And they was like, wow, we're going to bring him to Memphis next week.  And that was my second show. And it was with Ali? Yes. Wow. Chestnut on the next. I would have thought that, that, that would have turned to that, that night. You didn't know. You wouldn't, you just went up there by faith and say, I'm going to try. Well, I was always funny. I used to always talk about people. You can get the business. So it was, it was always in me, but just to talk about my real life on stage, stuff that would hurt me. I can go on stage and talk about it. And you laugh at it. Now I'm able to get over it because I didn't got it off my chest. Wow. That's good. But you're talking about God. It's a reason that you were there that night because you could have been anywhere else. But that's that opportunity.  I'm lying in these streets now. No, but yeah, it's good.  And when you get to step out and try something new, then it's hard for you to grow. And you said it helps you when you make fun about the things that you go through in life and, you know, your disability and stuff like that. It helps you? Yes. Okay. And I like where a girl can tell me no for trying to talk to her.  Then she turned around. I see the same girl in the crowd over there and I say, can we go out?  Then I play the yoghati. I got a chick.  You know, so it's like where you told me, no, let me show you what you missed out on. I don't guarantee the income every at the first and the third of every month. No matter where I go, I can park up front.  He can't go out there hustle. I ain't got to get up and move. My chick gonna hit my man in the way drug dealer or anybody else that take you somewhere.  They got to park in the back. I parked directly in the front. If a handicapped spot ain't there, I can make a spot and they ain't gonna mess with me.  Girls are used to always like turn you down because of your disability? Well, I have a problem meeting. I was always a ladies man. Okay. When I say that, let me make it clear. I was always able to get along with the ladies. Right. I can get their numbers. I can go see them when other people would be scared to go over their house to see them. I go see them. I knock on the door. I say, mama, daddy, look, I'm here to see because if you can't get along with the mom and the dad, why are you going to go see her? I got to sneak to see you. I don't really want to be there, but I would a friend, but I never got no play like the like boyfriend or girlfriend. And it's funny because I would always get the number, but my cousin them or a friend be the ones that talk to them. I was like, but I'm the one that come and visit. Did you hate that as a kid growing up sometime? But then, you know, as you grow up, you live and you learn maybe, hey, that wasn't the one for me. That wasn't the one for you. I like that. So, but another thing too, okay. Just like you said, being disabled, you get a check every month. Okay. Getting as big as you are and getting paid. Does that affect that? Because you have a lot of people who'll be getting them disability checks and say, I can't go work because I go work. They take away my disability. Just the thing with me, I'm not comfortable with that disability check. So they can take it. I'm able to work. I'm able to grow. I love the check. I love to have the check. But I don't want to get comfortable with sitting on disability.  Right. Or you can't make this much money. Or you know what I'm saying? You can't stay in these type of houses. You got to stay in these type of places. In the places they want you to stay. It is low poverty. It's like they don't come and take care of the handicapped places where they live and make sure it's nice smelling good or anything. Sometimes you walk in there.  So that ain't my living. I want to live better. And as long as I always say I want to live better, I'm going to continue to do better and hustle. That's so true because I was looking at a reel on Instagram today. And they talk about the power of the tongue and how much we talk about. You know, some people even with money, they'll be like, oh I'm broke because they don't want nobody to ask them for money. But there's power in the tongue. You should never speak certain things into the atmosphere that you don't want. So that's like what you're saying. You know, because you don't want to live there. So you're not going to say that. You know what I mean? I stayed there before. Because I needed somewhere to stay. And one thing one of my friends KB, Kevin Bryant out of Little Rock, Arkansas always told me. He said, if you grow, you need to have your own. No grown man want to stay with another grown man. So when he said that, you know, we used to hang around other people and people that used to hang around us, he used to say certain stuff. And the first thing he said, nigga, I'm grown. He said, when you're grown, get your own. I like that. What yours is that? I ain't probably certain. If you're grown, get your own. Yeah, so when he said that, you know, that just opened my eyes. And ever since then, I always wanted to have my own place. And when I had my own place, I always tried to hustle to make sure that my bills are paid. Whether I was selling dogs or whatever I had to do to make that income. So tell me about when you met your wife for the first time. Because we're talking about girls. So when you met your wife for the first time, how did you know she was the one and how, you know, what did you do for her to, you know, to get over that threshold? Oh, when I first met her, it was at a daddy birthday party. I think it was a daddy birthday party. She was dancing. And I asked my uncle, I said, who was that? And he said, oh, that's tiny. I like, well, introduce me, hook me up with her. And when it's like when she gave me a number, we come and say that I would go visit. And I knew I started getting in good. When I would go over there and I would get away over there and I would stay over there till her daddy get off work at three, four o'clock in the morning. And he would take me home afterwards or whatever. And then it got to the point where she got a vehicle and we moved in together and she would come and visit me. And she just never seen a disability. She seen me. That's awesome. And that love that we had 21 years ago, 21 years later, we got married. Awesome. Awesome. And I told her I never, regardless of what we went through, I never stopped loving her. And I always said to myself, even no matter who I was with, if she ever came back and gave me a chance, I would do it. And there was no disrespect to the other girls that I used to talk to. You know, some of them I think they just talked to me just because it felt good. At the time I was a band-aid. But with her, you really felt the genuine love. And she would tell you how she feels. And she don't care if she hurts your feelings. But it only made me a stronger man and for somebody to accept you. You know what I'm saying? Because of you and our family accepted me.  When we broke up, she was still visiting my family. I was still visiting her family. So when we did get back together, it was like a beat that never missed. Sometimes I always say, sometimes not all relationships, but some relationships, you need to break up so that you can see what you really miss. You know what I mean? Because sometimes when you're together all the time, people take each other for granted. They don't realize really what you do.  Man, this person does all this stuff for me. This person is always there for me. They're always telling me the truth. You know what I mean? Yeah. Sometimes people got to realize the things some people say, well, my wife don't do this or she don't do this. But sometimes you gotta look at it. What about the things that you don't do that she don't like? Exactly. And the things that she do or he do does it outweigh the things that they don't do. And the things that they don't do that I could talk about and get over it. And me and my wife, we had the conversation and we was like, look, I'd rather have the package and have something missing than not have a package with everything missing. But you had to grow into that because you didn't have that mentality at first. No, I didn't. And it took her brother talking to me. You know, I think he younger to me, but he act older than me or whatever. But just listening to him talk to me sometimes through relationships. I don't know if I can say this, but I'm going to say it. Go ahead. The women I dated were strippers and hoes. Okay. Dating strippers and hoes because that's all I could get at the time. Well, that's all I thought I can get at the time. Right. So when I broke up with her, that's all I was dating. So when you date them, their lifestyle is different. So over when you come back to a woman, when you're dating a woman, everything is different. Right. So your whole body change, your demeanor change, and it's like the stuff that you would do with the hoes and the strippers, you can't do that when you're with your wife. With your wife. Exactly. So having to adapt, and he was able to talk me through it because that was my first girlfriend ever. So dating my first girlfriend ever, coming back to her being my wife, now it's like you can't treat her the same way that you would treat the other ones that go to the same places that you would take some of these girls. Right. So. Man. I love your work ethic. I love the way how, you know, you elevated from doing just comedy and now you're into the movies. Yes. Holding the wall. We haven't gone into that yet. We haven't gone into that yet. I want to... But that's not the first movie he's been in. No. I want to... That's the new one that's out now. So we want to talk about that and just be excited with him for it. Two of them out now. Yeah. Departments. Departments with TI. Yes. I don't have no speaking role but TIPS. Thank you. Because I went and they say, look, we're going to have you as an extra. And me as an extra, they say, what can you do to stand out in the movie? You can stand out regardless. So when they sent me down, they say, look, the stripper's right here. We're going to give you money until you've got to do with TIPS. So I'm like, that's all I'm going to do. I'm like, no, I'll do something to make sure my scene is seen. So I put the dollars on top of my crutch and I was holding the crutch over to the girl tipping her like that. I couldn't get up. And TIPS said, man, look, we got to put that in the movie. So thank you. Even though I didn't have no speaking role, just the role that I did play the big part. And he gave me the opportunity and I thank him for it. You know, because he didn't have to have me in there like that. Right.  It was good because everybody pretty much knew me. A lot of people I didn't even know and no disrespect to him, but they knew me in the love that they showed me or whatever. They said, man, you the hardest this working, this able working comedian. I know. And some Ronnie Jordan always tell people, man, you let him on your show. He come with a whole swap meet because he got T-shirts, cuffs, key chains or everything, whatever you want. He showed it.  Comedy shows pay you, but merch pays the bills. Wow. When you think about just the movie, like to be in a movie, T-I-N and from the takers all the way to now being a rap star, you know what I mean? Till even now being in the comedy, like, have you been by his establishment down in Atlanta? Yes, yes. They got a stage and everything for stand-up in there? Yes. Have you performed there? Yeah. Ooh, you killed that. I know you get there. I love the energy, man. People don't know just because you go to places sometimes. It doesn't mean you have to hit the stage. It doesn't mean you have to be the spotlight. Sometimes you can be the spotlight from the back. Wow.  And when I go, I always make sure I speak the tip. I make sure I speak to everybody on the cast, you know, and just being there to show their support and being there to where when I went to his, um, his, um, the cafe, Trap Cafe, a girl was sitting down and she had an extra seat. She said, you need to seat. T.I. walk by, I said, Jesse don't need no seat. Man, he don't need no seat. He good. And when he said, this is my man. This is my partner, Jesse telling you good. I'm like, yeah, I'm good. And I was like, that made my day for T.I. to walk by. I was like, man, Jesse don't need no seat. That's my partner. Even though he said, I didn't need no seat, I really did. But just for your name, acknowledge me. You know what I'm saying? Without me saying that to him, let me know. Hey, look, I've been working and my heart working grinding is paying off. Wow, man. Like, uh, have you seen his stand up? Yes. How's, how's T.I. stand up when you see him? I know you being. I didn't watch them grow. I didn't watch them. I didn't watch them grow. And he's getting better within time. Nobody starts off good. You know what I'm saying? No, nobody rapper, whatever you do, nobody starts off good. But long as you continue to do what you're doing, you're going to grow. Wow. You're going to grow. And people, the first thing people say, oh, he ain't funny. He ain't funny. I'm pretty sure people thought I wasn't funny back in the day, but I never let it stop me. And T.I. never let it stop me. No. And one thing somebody told me, they said, T.I. really don't do it for the comedy. T.I. do it to help the comedians. They say he do it because some comedians are not getting paid with their work. He said, well, look, everyone, sure they're going to come and see me. Let me get out here and I'll do it. And the comedians that he got with him help him and they embrace him. And he'd take them on the road and he made sure they're good. So I appreciate him. I'm trying to be a part of that team. You know what I'm saying? You know, I and work with them as much as possible. But, you know, in the future, I can see me being that big person. I've seen, I met K-Dub yesterday. He looks so familiar probably because he's always been on TV and always been around in these different sets. Like you, you're familiar with K-Dub, right? Yeah. K-Dub, I used to, me, K-Dub, we all used to back in the day. Okay. Okay. So, and how, how is K-Dub? Like he's, he's one that's been around forever. Yes. K-Dub did a lot of writing on K-Dub. K-Dub is a legend to me. Why do you say that? Because I watch K-Dub when I first started on K-Dub was already that man. Okay. And I always stayed in contact with him no matter, when I called K-Dub, he said, what you want to look a glass, dude? What you want?  You know, he always cracked his joke. K-Dub never changed. K-Dub back then, all the way now. And, and he always, he always supported me later, man. I said, how do I get to where you at? He said, don't give up. Wow. Don't give up. That's the best advice he can give me. Don't give up. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Just don't give up. You just got to keep pushing. Wow. Man, I just think that's, that's live, man, that you got this, this, this history, the long history with all of the different comedian world. Now, from comedians to movies to just all type of things that you're dealing with, man, you blessed to be, you know, set in that line. Like, now let's, let's get into the hole in the wall. Yes. How did you end up out on the road with D-Ray? Okay. Shout out D-Ray, man. I came to see you when you was on the stage. That's the first time I've seen you was with D-Ray and I came and you showed me so much love in Atlanta. D-Ray, man. D-Ray like a big brother. It's funny because I text D-Ray sometimes and be like, hey, how you doing? Um, how's your health? Who went to and show you that, man, I don't even know how to accept it, man. Another man asking me how I'm doing. How's my health? He said, man, I don't know how to accept it, but thank you. Wow. Because nobody never asked their friends how to help. You know what I'm saying?  I just call to see how you're doing. When I call D-Ray, I just call sometimes to see how you're doing because we're friends. And if we're friends, friends check on each other. I don't want nothing to happen to none of my comedian friends or anybody I work with. And I say, my friends, but I never call to say, hey, how are you doing? Hey, what you got going? Man, I just call to check on you. How are the family? We're friends. We're friends. That's hard. You know, so. Man, I thank God for putting me in my life. He gave me eight years. I mean, seven years. Yeah. And still, and still going. So this movie, is it something that, is he the headline owner? Is he the main character? No, the head, the main person on this one is, wait a minute, I see if I want to try to take his name. Baby Drew. Baby Drew. Baby Drew out of Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Yeah. That's the one. Yeah. And Milwaukee is listening, man. I interviewed Jamal Woodard and he is listening.  Like how was it? Like even working with these guys versus working with Tia on the apartments. The comedy show the whole time. The comedy show the whole time. We, we joining on each other. We, we, we bringing it. We shooting, we're not on set shooting content. We're taking that, that opportunity to work with other comedians and say, hey, look, let's shoot this video. What you got? All right, we're going to shoot this. All right, when you get done with that, hey, I want to shoot this with you.  That's hard. You know, we're working and we're working. But basically you find, you know, finding those opportunities and those opportunities open up for you. I know as God, there's only God that you would be able to keep that work going like that. Yeah, because the thing is the door has been open. I just never walked through them. I didn't understand it. The doors, the doors had been open. A lot of people are like, what you mean by that? Well, back in the day, people used to tell me, just come, I got you. Just come, I got you. But me at that time, I didn't realize what it meant. And I feel like I didn't have the money to get there. Or where am I going to stay if I get there? You know what I'm saying? So I went to church. And the preacher said, man, we scared to step out on faith. We scared to fail you. You know what I'm saying? But who's to say you're going to fail? We just scared of failure. Sometimes you've got to fail and some people have to fail in order to get better. Some people don't. But it was like scared to step out on faith. And he was like, when he said that, people said, come, I just took the opportunity to get up and just go. Man, I get it, man, because you got to have faith, man. Faith is the start of everything. You know what I mean? When people see you going and trying to help yourself, they don't mind helping you. But if you don't step out and try to help yourself, then why should I help you? Wow. I just, like I said, you ever been to New York? Yes. My hollocks. Shout out to raise your hand. What year was that? Oh, that's about three, about, my son, five, so about five, five. Yeah, about five years ago. Five years ago. Okay.  My daughter's mom at the time. Okay. And did you, were you ever apart from while you was there? No. Okay. Because you need to be careful in New York. When people were getting people, they got pd-dy. You know what I'm saying? For, you know, some old stuff that happened. And I was just trying to see how you fell in this category because all you niggas going up to New York and hanging out and partying and doing stuff that nobody think, nobody know about, it comes back years later and they just stop letting people come back with the charges from long time ago. So, You see, they should did that with Bill Codges being an archerly, pretty archerly.  You know what having to go back through these situations caused the past relationships that wasn't right Well, the thing is if it happened then you should have said something why wait so many years some women are hurt Jesse You were hurt when you were busting on windows. You weren't hurt when you were getting that money No, I get it, but I'm telling you some of these women don't know how to open up about it And just when it's open up when you tell your home girl he cheated on me Yeah, I got it. You know I'm saying you you open up for you you you open up to what you want to open up to that's what it is like Why if you if you got hurt if you got hurt and you could do something about it Why hold it in because when you hold it in it's somebody else going through the same situation right then But you you get to speak up to help them because you say look I got hurt this happened to me But this how I overcame it But when you hold it in guess what it's somebody else right up under you right close to you're going through the same thing and Then in this steady beating them up and then sometimes it beat them up to the bad to where it kills them But you could have stopped you by saying hey look this is what I did Wow, I just look at it cuz you see money. That's what they see Yeah, I just seen I seen another clip. I don't say they wrong or I ain't gonna say they right But you know what they got Jimmy I've been and they got a it's it's Jamie Fox to shout out to Jamie man They it's a lot of charges coming back on these brothers man And and he and he's charges is serious and they trying to get them back up to New York to prosecute them This stuff been going on this stuff been going you think about it Where did it first start off at Bill Cosby? Yeah You think about it if the Bill Cosby had to went through what he went through and all these women start popping up Do you think our Kelly would have popped up like that? Do you think you know I said did he would have popped up like that? I'm not saying it I'm not saying what they did was right if they did it.  I need to sue Yeah, I feel so I feel you it's just it's something else because you know I feel a lot of guys going through it Lot of women going a lot of these women are giving it to these guys because they want that stardom They want that fame when you go when you go to some of these people and you go hang out with them You already know what's about a woman. I already know she's gonna give you something before she leave with you Some of these women already say man. I give it to him.  You got called up. What happened?  He forced me to do it Yeah, that's so that's rain. I had to be careful because when I when I was doing the pimp game When I did that I learned a lot. That's right. You used to be a pimp. Yeah, yeah Bonafide bonafide certified But the thing is you learn from it But like that's when I would tell girls never when a guy comes I got I got sweet Let's smoke now cuz if I if you smoke with you then you're cheaper Cuz all I gotta do is say let's get high I get you hot the weed good enough You're gonna keep coming back to me and eventually I'm gonna get it.   We can get some money out of him.  Let me know where room number you in you can say hey look up and go get some ice I'm from the run downstairs to the snack bar and grab me some you want something But who to say she not texting him saying hey look I'm at this door, you know saying she got the door And when she got door she leave, but you know she ain't got no key. So when you hear that You go back and open the door. It's a guy with a gun right there in your face That's real. So you're not thinking because I don't think you see it. It's pretty woman or she said look I'm gonna I'm gonna fight my home girl up here. She could face time a beautiful girl Yeah, she face time that beautiful girl tell her to come up there, but who's on the side of her? That you think that beautiful girl coming, but it's a dude right there. So that's what I was like Where you gonna leave here, I'm headed home I want to I want to ask some question about social media and then I let you get this about relationship Little bit not really. Okay. I want to ask you about Social media Dame Dash has been been doing a lot of lot of He has a new app that he's doing and I I can't think of the name of Before you go into that cuz I say one thing.   Nobody says nothing about little Tony.  So they might be hitting the small guys too. No, they're not hitting small guys Man, nobody nobody won't they say who gonna watch little Tony on TV talking about he hit all these girls The Tony got 12 kids They probably got 20 some kids, but it don't matter Because he's not in the limelight now what you saying I was just asking by Dame Dash is he he brought up a Scenario about YouTube and the CPMs and and the fact that when they pay us they pay us and you know They run ads and we get like say a dollar. This is on 85 soft show. I just watched it He's like they get $20. He says digital slavery the way that they're there.  He know how to deal with running ads. He got people that's buying ads He say right now he's small in it in 20 years 10 years from now He's he compared himself to Steve Jobs because Steve Jobs started with IBM And then he came 10 years later with Apple and got that respect eventually He just says there's a path where you should be pretty much Putting yourself in a situation where you can get it paid, you know at least 9500 percent of the ad revenue Because you think about it social media the internet is ran by us with without our content And the the things that we do on no matter what you do without your content People can't put ads on on your content So I feel like if you're going to put an ad in my content, you should ask me how much do I want to run that ad in my content Because We we get a million people we get a million views Now you can stuck all these ads in my comment. I mean in my thing, but But how much how much are you going to pay me out of these million views? For these ads, so I think they should ask us. Hey look, we want to run these ads in your um In your videos or whatever you're doing. We want to run these ads. How much you're going to charge me to put it in there Because you put it in there for free, but you're charging them Arm in the leg right sometimes sometimes it ain't even on the leg ten dollars or five dollars May not sound like a lot, but when you have somebody running 40 50 ads You know I'm saying or you know I'm saying so many ads at ten dollars Look at the money So you agree with dame that they're they're abusing the system and pretty much manipulating it.  You sign it up for it when you want when you go punch yourself in I'm gonna be on youtube You're agreeing to the terms that they've said that that you you're right That's the that's the problem when they say you don't read fine print You don't read the fine print, you know, but even with reading the fine print you think about it before they was paying us Before they was paying us We was out here. We was doing it. We was we were growing your platform Now that we can grow to a platform and we're making great content to keep your platform up and running You're making millions. What do you think? And I think you should you should um asked us about the ad you're going to run ads in our videos You should ask us But I have a question so um You jumped in so I forgot what my question was from early. Yes Wow We're gonna cut that part out. I know you've been to ask me You about to ask me Before I leave here today. How much how how much do I want 10 or a hundred dollars? I say, you know what? Two zeroes behind a one always sound better You know, I just remember what I wanted. Um, okay because you do comedy So you're always out at night. Um at the different shows and stuff like that So you see some of these people who'll be getting drunk Um and wasted because I've heard people say that sometimes when they walk and pass you like you set up your table and stuff Like that you can know that they're drunk when they're leaving the venues, right? Um, what you say about people getting so wasted and then going into their cars to drive To their destinations I I think they should have a designated driver Anytime I I'm my wife designated driver My wife don't she don't get drunk like that But when she drink, I I'm a driver But if she if I'm not there, she said look, I know I know what's my limit You know I'm saying and some people don't know their limits. They're just drinking You know I'm saying some people some people I've seen some people drive better when they drunk I've heard you know I've heard that But you know, I don't I don't advise nobody There's somebody about addiction so I I don't advise nobody to drink and drive because that's an innocent bystander somewhere Yeah, and you don't want to kill them or hurt them or hurt yourself because you know, thank god, there was no fatality but I saw where um Two chains was in a wreck last night. Well this morning at two something in the morning Um, it was a drunk driver Who had hit him from behind but it was three cars who was ended up in this wreck And luckily he only you know had like a neck and you know some bruises, but it wasn't that bad for him But then somebody else was um airlifted to the hospital So it's just is when I see stuff like that. It's crazy because he was in a um A drunk driver accident. He was one day We was driving he was driving down the road with his daughter in the car And do you believe a drunk driver coming and end up on his side of the road like playing chicken with him? so to say hit him The car you should have seen the truck he was in the truck the truck was terrible and the guy was in the Mercedes Benz The convertible the guy came out of the car looked on his car Jumped back in his car and tried to drive off drunk Oh, wow. Yeah I was in the rick one time. I was in the rick one time here. Somebody I got out. Oh, he's drunk I said no, I just walked this way I don't think that's right. I don't drink. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't like the pilling You know, um, I got that natural pilling They don't understand that they're taking other people's life in their hands when they go behind the wheel to go You know do something crazy like that. That's right. I mean I I wrote to a lot of people now They say the best thing to do is drink at home Exactly smoking home the same meter they playing in the club. You can hear it at home Half the people that's in the club you don't like anyway, so, you know Or you go there so often you see them every night.  I bought about all her friends and drinks You know, I try to pick up a girl take her home Yeah, that too and women women are going there to be picked up and took home That's that's rained on so many people in the in the position that they're in now That's true. Wow. I just you know when I when I look at you know, the whole limelight of You know going out there bringing it on the stage, you know getting booed maybe maybe getting out No, not boo, but they bumming on stage.    Keep going because I got another one and if you ain't funny. I I'm gonna keep loading Every time every time I already know exactly what I'm gonna say and I'm gonna hit you deep Wow, man.  You guys just performed here. Uh, y'all performing here tonight Yes, yeah, what where y'all at tonight? We're at the love lounge at the love lounge I'm at the love lounge with curl and clay born tonight. Man. Where's that? Where's the love lounge? It's in all the time. Okay So ladies don't come trying to get no love from me tonight because I'm married Man, thank you for coming on the show man. Tell us where we can uh, where how we can get a hold of you on cash out That's it. You give me on cash out. Shout out to Myron and his son too. Let's shout them out because they doing They thing together now. I haven't seen you on there with uh, with uh, uh, Myron He can't call us a Myron Myron Jules Jules now He's grown man now. He ain't seen as Myron I was about to say he bring him out every now and again.  He's Myron Jules. Actually Myron was in the movie too. The hole in the wall I had I The strip they sent me I learned my strip But when I got on set the strip that they gave me wasn't the strip that I read But the improv of it was so good So I got a couple of movies on live and in color. Wow. Um, that's that's I think that's getting ready to come out finding love um, it's called life um Departments is out now What else The hole in the wall is out now amazon prime On to be shout out to All the people that made that movie happy. Thanks for giving me the opportunity and anybody else need me You need to get me because I'll tell you I'm on my way up and I'm from the I'm from to be that I'm from to be that guy Man, um, man, thank you. Put me in the movie. Hey, we got cameras So we we definitely might do one ourselves. They don't do the movie. I got the tv show already written I got five episodes written tv show No cursing family show Funny with good good people that and not my actors are people that I see that fit the role and plays them I just got to get it in give somebody a spotlight Uh, one of the new and upcoming comedians that you like that you seen that you like man this kid He's he's gonna be special ISO ISO shot Comedian ISO out of Cincinnati Man ISO man, that's man ISO is so funny. He he funny in his own way Because he'll come up to me. He said jay. I got a new bit I like what is it? And he said hey so A man gets in the car drives down It's just a delivery, but he's so determined and he's he got that he He always pushing to do it if I say ISO And look, I need you to come down to Dallas tomorrow or later on the day And I need I got an interview for you for boss talk. He's gonna get on the plane.  He said man. I lost my whole bit book with all my jokes I said garlic. We're trying to tell you that was garbage. He wants you to start over Shout out ISO man He laughed at it, but I I would just tell him, you know saying we lose something That's just God saying I got something better for you. It's something better that you can do Get rid of it. Well, all the good stuff you'll remember if it ain't good Don't worry about it. I got something else for you. So man comedian ISO comedian ISO Yeah, man. Thank you so much for coming on the show man. We love you jesse. You all got me and like we We ain't playing about jesse, right? But yeah, thank you. I'm on all social medias. Appreciate it I'm on all social media. It's comedian jesse Donald And you know what? I'm so I'm so out here. I put my phone number on everything. That's hard. I like the reason Mike Jones The reason I learned from him Mike John He used to put his number. He used to say his number all the time<PHONE_NUMBER> Yeah, I think he still got that number. Yeah. Yeah, that's my guy But the thing is when I put my number on everything when you can't get me I mean when you can't find me on social media, you see that number you call me like, hey, this jesse. Yeah, this is me How you doing? Some people just call me just see how I'm doing some people just call to see if it's my number Yes, that's my real number. And you know, you never know who you touching who who just them to say Hey, look, I talked to jesse mcdonald. What's the number? 501 popo two 8674 man, check it man. That's how I write y'all down Yeah, you didn't like it 501 popo two 8674 Hey man, ain't got the zero zero Oh man, thank you so much for coming on the show man. We love you It's been another great segment of boss talk 101 where the boss is talk and we that way


Okay, bonbonim and bonbonot.  It's a transition from a real self, a true self, to a false self. The world is suddenly alien and horrifying. Familiar figures like mother and father attain almost supernatural dimensions. Everything is disoriented, dislocated. The child is trying to navigate this labyrinth of unfamiliarity to a new terrain, the terrain of his narcissism, the terrain of her borderline. Before you start again, I'm using he and she, but the pronouns are interchangeable. Interchangeable. Every he can be a she. Every she can be a he. Isn't it fun? Gender fluidity? Yes, borderline and narcissism are equally diagnosed in men and women. This is not the 70s. Okay, Shoshanim. My name is Samvaknim. I'm the author of Malignate Self-Love. The narcissism revisited. I'm also a former visiting professor of psychology and today I'm going to take you on a tour of the budding mind of a narcissist. The first signs, the nascent signs of a borderline. How does a child who is often younger than two years old, how does he perceive this incredible trip into the unknown, into a new world with an imaginary friend in a poracossum, a virtual reality, an artificial one, an alien planet? Did you ever stop to think about the mind of such a child? Today, we're gonna do exactly this. But before we do, I recommend that you watch the video Freud and Jung reintegrating the narcissist self. Description, link, click and you're there. I want to start with a quote was written by Hazen and McFarland in 2010. When alarmed, the child seeks proximity to a caregiver. The proximity to frightening caregiver increases the alarm. Emotionally depriving mothers, dead mothers in the in the in the lingo of Andre Green, 1978, these kind of mothers frustrate the child. They withhold and this is a form of passive aggression. Some of them proactively abuse and that's a form of aggression. So we have two types. The emotionally unavailable or depriving mothers, they are simply absent. They don't provide the child with what he needs. Nurturance, love, caring, attention, compassion, holding containment, understanding, acceptance. They don't provide any of this. They're depressed. They're selfish. They're narcissistic. They're immature and childish themselves infantile. They expect a child to parent them. They use the child as an instrument. They idolize the child in a process of co idealization. The child is ideal. They are ideal, et cetera, et cetera. The myriad ways. And the mother is not there. The child perceives it as a form of aggression. Frustration, withholding, avoidance are aggressive in adult relationships and even much more so in early childhood. Both types of primary caregivers, both types of primary objects, both types of mothers in short, do not allow the child to develop boundaries. They don't let the child separate from them because if the mother is absent, how can you separate from an absence? Intimate partners of narcissists know what I'm talking about. How can you interact with an emptiness, with a schizoid empty core? How do you talk to the void? How do you navigate your way when there are no signposts and hallmarks, when it's all one huge deep space, a black hole? So the absent mother does not allow the child to develop boundaries and separate because you can't do this with an absence. You can do this only with a presence. Similarly, if the mother is a terrorizing presence, it's difficult to separate from her. It's difficult to let go. It's difficult to set boundaries because any attempt to set boundaries, any attempt to separate, any attempt to let go is punished.  So mother who is proactively abusive, physically, verbally, sexually, otherwise, a mother who is proactively abusive, retards, inhibits the possibility of separation and boundary setting, exactly as does the absent mother, but for different reasons. Now remember that well into the 18 months of life, the child is in a symbiotic state. It is difficult for the child to tell with any certainty where he ends and mother begins. As far as the child is concerned, they're a single entity, kind of hydra, an organism with two heads. They're one and the same. They're merged, they're fused, and this is known as a symbiotic state. Oh, it's no longer known as a symbiotic state. It used to be known as a symbiotic state.  Think about it for a minute.  You are one and the same.  So if you're one and the same with the aggressor, any aggression comes from you as well. It's perceived as self-aggression. The mother and the baby are one and the same, and the aggression is misperceived by the baby as internal coming from the inside. Now, this has lifelong severe implications because it creates confusion between external and internal objects. A form of energy, aggression, sometimes even violence comes from the outside but is misperceived as coming from the inside because the child is one with the mother, the infant is one with the mother. He can't tell the difference. So any aggression is self-aggression. So he gets confused between internal and external. And this is the beginning. This is the inception of the lifelong confusion between external and internal objects in narcissism and to some extent in Baudelaire, but mostly in narcissism. The mother is also not perceived as a secure base. Of course, she's not a secure base. She's terrorizing. She's capricious. She's arbitrary. She's absent. She's withholding. She's frustrating. She's depressive. She's punitive. She's not a secure base. She's not a base. Definitely not a secure one. And this leads to insecure attachment, insecure attachment, lifelong. It also leads to other mental health outcomes, ambivalence, love and hate, and splitting. The child needs the mother, but also dreads her. So he loves her and he hates her. Because it's very difficult to love and hate at the same time. It creates dissonance. The child splits the mother. We'll discuss it in great detail in the continuation of this video.  We'll deal with it a bit later. But the child also learns that he should dread his own needs. Whenever the child expresses a need, whenever the child seeks comfort and love and caring and compassion and attention, the child is penalized. The child is reprimanded, chastised, beaten, molested, abused, something happens. Every attempt to assert himself as a separate individual entity is every such attempt goes punished. So the child learns that his needs lead to punishment. And he begins to dread his needs. He begins to be afraid of his needs. Even when he doesn't express his needs, the very thought, I need something, terrifies him because children have magical thinking. They believe that their thinking affects the world. Many adults still do. So as far as the child is concerned, a thought, a cognition is an objective ontological external entity. So whenever the child considers a need of his, he gets terrified. And so whenever the child perceives a need, a wish, a hope, at that moment, the child becomes terrified and perceives it himself as an aggressor. Because only someone aggressive makes you terrified. Only an aggressor makes you afraid. Only an aggressor scares you. And so whenever the child thinks of a need, a wish, a hope, he becomes terrified. And he perceives himself as having aggressed against himself. Otherwise, why would he be terrified? He's terrified because he's aggressing against himself. So suddenly needs, hopes, wishes are suffused, infected, suffused with aggression. That's why narcissists are entitled. They demand, they coerce. There needs a paramount. And everyone else should pay the ultimate price to reward these needs and cater to them. So narcissists from an early childhood phase, perceives needs as forms of aggression, because he feels bad about if it's terrified, if it's horrified about being needy. And so he wants to force other people to fulfill the needs. As an adult, such a person perceives himself as source, a source of acute ego distnary, depression, anxiety. This kind of person is not his best friend. He's his worst enemy. As an adult, this child grows up, becomes an adult. Such a person perceives both himself and significant others, all of them maternal figures, the dual mothership concept. So he perceives everyone himself and others as sources of discomfort, as sources of unease. And in extreme cases, depression and anxiety. This is why the idealization, devaluation, discard cycle is always an also self applied. When the narcissist idealizes someone, he is also idealizing himself, co idealization. And when the narcissist devalues someone, in a way, he is also devaluing himself, self devaluation, and self discard, translating to self defeat, self destructiveness, self harm, and self trashing. And this is especially prevalent in borderline personality disorder. So because the narcissist perceives other people as threats, as sources of extreme and acute discomfort, he needs to idealize them to get rid of the threat. He needs to embed them in a shared fantasy where he is in control is the script writer. In order to eliminate the dread attendant upon being dependent on other people. Similarly, he perceives himself as a threat. So when he idealizes the external sources, those outside himself, who may harm him, punish him for needing them for being dependent on them. He idealizes them in order to render them harmless and loving. And so when he does this, he also idealizes the other source of threat himself, because from a very early stage of childhood, he perceived himself as an, as an aggressor. He perceived himself as self aggressing as an enemy within. And he uses other people. He idealizes them so that he can also idealize himself and reduce his anxiety. It's an anxiolytic process. At some point, because of the need to separate from the mother and individuals, I discussed it in other videos, at some point, the narcissist is compelled to devalue his intimate partner and discard her. And when he does this, he perceives this as a form of self aggression, self destructiveness, self harm, self traction, self defeat. When he does this, when he devalues his intimate partner and discards her, he is aggressing against himself. That is why he tends to preserve the interject in the idealized state. When he discards the intimate partner in reality, he perceives it as threatening, life threatening self aggression. So to reduce the anxiety, he preserves the internal object that represents the discarded external object, and he preserves it in its idealized, pristine form. The idealized internal object is supposed to isolate the narcissist from his own self aggression. So it's like the narcissist says, I'm discarding only an external object, but the important object is internal, and it remains my friend. It remains a lover. It cares for me. It's compassionate. It's perfect. It's ideal. It's not going to hurt me. The narcissist perceives even the need to separate and individuate which rules their lives and the approach avoidance repetition compulsion, which is essentially their relationships. This need to separate and individuate from a maternal figure is also perceived as threatening, because the narcissist learned in early life that whenever he expresses a need, he's punished. Needs are threats. And to express a need is to self-aggress. To express a need is to self-destroy. Because when you express a need, you are punished. Why provoke the punishment?  You love yourself. You want yourself to be punished. The narcissist perceives any expression of his needs as self punitive, which is why he needs to manipulate and coerce people around him. He needs to control them. And he needs to idealize the internal objects that correspond to them in order to avoid the inevitable punishment that is attendant upon expressing his wishes, hopes and dreams and priorities and whatever. It's a very convoluted mechanism. I hope you understood what I said. Okay, so this is the first part of the video. Those of you who are not interested in deep psychoanalytic theory, you can stop now. I won't be angry. You can go away and I'll block you so that you can't watch my future videos. I'm joking. Those of you who are interested in deeper psychoanalytic theory, here we go. Freud and Jung. Let's delve deeper into the psychogenesis of narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder. The individuation separation phase of our early childhood development predetermines or determinants the emergence of defenses, which are essentially narcissistic or fantasy defenses, common both in narcissism and in borderline. Prior to the phase of separation individuation, the infant begins to differentiate between self and everything that is not self. The infant tentatively explores the world and these excursions bring about a differentiated worldview. The world breaks apart. It's a very traumatic experience.  Now the world initially is the primary object in his life, normally his mother.  There's no other world. But still there's the baby and the mother.  To the infant, this is revolutionary stuff. Nothing short of a breakdown of an erstwhile unitary universe and its substitution with fragmented, unconnected entities. As I said, it's a major trauma. Moreover, these images in themselves are split. The child has separate images of a good mother and a bad mother, respectively associated with the gratifications of his needs by a good mother and his desires met by a good mother and the frustration of these needs and desires by a bad mother. The infant also constructs separate images of a good self and a bad self linked to the ensuing states of being gratified by a good mother because you have a good self or being frustrated by a bad mother because you've been a bad boy, a bad self.  At this stage, the child is unable to see that people are both good and bad, that an entity with a single identity can both gratify him and frustrate him. The child derives his own sense of being good and bad entirely from the outside. The good mother inevitably and invariably leads to a good satisfied self and the bad, frustrating mother, withholding mother, avoidant mother always generates the bad, frustrated, punitive self. But the image of the bad mother is very threatening. It is anxiety provoking. Who wants to have a bad mother when you are dependent on her for life?  The child is afraid that if it is found out by his mother, she will abandon him. In short, if the mother discovers the bad self, she will dump the child somewhere in the nearest trash bin. And this persists into adulthood in borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, where the bad object is very threatening.  So she pushes away approach avoidance. The narcissist has an internal bad object and tries desperately to compensate for it by pretending to be the perfect good object externally. I discussed this in my previous video. So the image of the bad mother is threatening. It is anxiety provoking. The child is afraid that it will be discarded if the mother finds out how bad he is. Moreover, the bad mother is a forbidden subject of negative feelings.  Bad mommy. Why is mommy bad to me? Child is full of rage, aggression, anger, even hatred. But one must not think about mother in bad terms. It's a no-no, should never do this as a child, so that creates dissonance. On the one hand, the child is angry, on the other, is not allowed to express his anger, and the child splits the bad images off, uses them to form a separate collage of bad objects. And this process is called object splitting.  When still used by adults, it is an indication of a serious pathology. Narcissists have object splitting, so do borderlines. Now all this mess is followed by the phases of separation and individuation between the ages of 18 and 36 months. The child no longer splits his objects, bad objects to one side, repressed side, and good objects to another side, a conscious side. Child no longer does this. The child learns to relate to objects, to people, as integrated holes with the good and the bad aspects coalesce. An integrated self-concept inevitably follows. If every object out there is both good and bad, the self can also be both good and bad.  He acquires what we call object constancy. He learns that the existence of objects does not depend on his presence or on his vigilance. Mother always comes back to him after she disappears from sight, so he can trust this. The same way we trust that the sun will rise and shine to more morning. A major reduction in anxiety follows, and it permits the child to dedicate his energy to the development of stable, consistent, and independent senses of self and introjects internalized images of other people. This is the juncture at which personality disorders form. Between the ages of 15 months and 22 months, there is a sub-phase in this stage of separation and individuation, and this sub-phase is known as raportement. The child at this stage is still is exploring the world. This is a terrifying and anxiety-inducing process, even for adults, let alone for children. The child needs to know that he is protected, that he is doing the right thing, and that he is gaining the approval of his mother, that he is not going to be punished for trying to separate, explore the world, and become an individual. The child periodically returns to his mother for reassurance, affirmation, and admiration, as if making sure that his mother endorses his newfound autonomy, efforts, and independence, and accepts his separate individuality.  What he needs at this stage is approval, admiration, reassurance, you're doing well, you're doing okay, you should separate from it, you should go out into the world, you should explore everything, you should learn of the existence of others.   The child in turn develops mortal fears of being abandoned, separation in security, of losing his mother's love and support, that's the message she's sending, that's the signal she's giving, you walk away from me, don't bother to come back. The child's unspoken dilemma is to become independent and lose mother, or to retain mother and never to have a self, never to become an individual, these are the choices.  The child is anxious, is fearful of losing mother, the child feels guilty for being angry at mother and the child is attracted to mother and repelled, drawn to her, terrified of her, in short the child is in a chaotic state of mind and so whereas healthy people experience such eroding dilemmas now and then, to the personality disordered people, these dilemmas, these dissonances are constant, a characteristic emotional state to defend himself against this intolerable vortex of emotions. The child keeps these emotions out of his consciousness, the bad mother and the bad self, plus all the negative feelings of abandonment, anxiety, frustration, rage, withholding, all of them are split off, but they're buried in a way, but the child's over reliance on this primitive defense mechanism of splitting off everything that's bad, ignoring it, repressing it, burying it, this mechanism and over dependence on this mechanism, over reliance on it, it obstructs the orderly development of a child. The child fails to integrate these split images, he remains unintegrated, the bad parts are so laden, so burdened with negative emotions that they remain virtually untouched throughout life in what you call the shadow, they remain there as complexes. It proves impossible to integrate such explosive material with the mobinine good parts, and so the adult remains fixated that this earlier stage of development, he can't move on, he can't integrate, he's unable to integrate and is unable to see people as whole holistic objects, good and bad, people are either all good or all bad, idealization, devaluation, this kind of person is terrified unconsciously of abandonment, actually feels abandoned or under threat of being abandoned, and subtly plays it out in his or her interpersonal relationships, but is the reintroduction of split off material in therapy, for example, is it in any way helpful, is it likely to lead to an integrated ego or self or whatever you want to call it, a unitary being, to ask this is to confuse two issues, and many many mental health practitioners are doing exactly this, they're confusing the issues, with the exception of schizophrenia and some some types of psychotics, the ego the self is always integrated, that the patient cannot integrate the images of objects, both libidinal and non-libidinal, does not mean that he has a non-integrated or disintegrative ego, don't confuse the two, the inability to integrate the world, as is the case in borderline personality disorder, in narcissistic personality disorder, this inability to put the world together, good and bad, relates to the patient's choice of defense mechanisms, it is a secondary layer, the crux of the matter is not what state the self is in, integrated or not, but what is the state of one's perception of the self, meta-self, if you wish, and so from a theoretical point of view, the reintroduction of split off material does nothing to increase or enhance the ego's integration, because it's already integrated, this is especially true, if we adopt the Freudian concept of the ego is inclusive of all split off material of course, but does the transfer of split off material from one part of the ego, the unconscious, to another part of the ego, the conscious, does this transfer in any way affect the integration of the ego? Confronting split off repress material is still an important part of many psychodynamic therapies, it has been shown to reduce anxiety, cure conversion symptoms, somatization, and generally have a beneficial and therapeutic effect on the individual, I'm not disputing this, yet this is nothing to do with integration, it has to do with conflict resolution, that various parts of the personality are in constant conflict, is an integral principle of all psychodynamic theories, dredging split off material to our consciousness reduces the scope or the intensity of these conflicts, this is so by definition, split off material introduced to consciousness is no longer split off material and therefore can no longer participate in the war raging in the unconscious, but is it always recommended, I'm not so sure, consider personality disorders, personality disorders are adaptive solutions in the given circumstances, it is true that as circumstances change, these solutions prove to be rigid straight jackets, maladaptive rather than adaptive, but the patient has no coping substitutes available, no therapy can provide the patient with such as, which are substitutes because the whole personality is affected by the ensuing pathology, not just an aspect of the personality or element or figment, bringing up split off material may constrain or even eliminate the patient's personality disorder, but then what? How is the patient supposed to cope with the world without his personality disorder, a world that has suddenly reverted to being hostile, threatening, abandoning, capricious, whimsical, cruel, devouring just like it was in infancy, before the patient stumbled across the magic of splitting, so we need to be very careful with it. This was Freud, what about Jung, his erstwhile student and then rebel? The famous no controversial psychoanalyst C. G. Jung and all the quotes are from his collective works, so published by Princeton University Press between 1960 and 1983, shows you how much he's written a lot, so he wrote the following, complexes are psychic fragments which have split off owing to traumatic influences or certain incompatible tendencies. As the association experiments prove, complexes interfere with the intentions of the will and disturb the conscious performance, they produce disturbances of memory and blockages in the flow of associations, they appear and disappear according to their own laws, they can temporarily obsess consciousness or influence speech and action in an unconscious way. In a word, complexes behave like independent beings, a fact especially evident in abnormal states of mind. In the voices heard by the insane, they even take on a personal ego character like that of the spirits who manifest themselves through automatic writing and similar techniques. This quote was lifted off the structure and dynamics of the psyche. Another quote, I use the term sedum, I use the term individuation to denote the process by which a person becomes a psychological individual that is a separate, indivisible unity or whole, this is from the archetypes and the collective unconscious. Another quote, individuation means becoming a single homogenous being and in so far as individuality embraces are innermost, lost and incomparable uniqueness, also implies becoming one's own self. We could therefore translate individuation as coming to selfhood or self-realization, this is from two essays on analytical psychology. And the final quote, but again and again says Jung, I note that the individuation process is confused with the coming of the ego into consciousness and that the ego is in consequence identified with the self, which naturally produces a hopeless conceptual model, I fully agree. Individuation is then nothing but ego-centeredness and auto-erotism, but the self comprises infinitely more than mere ego. It is as much one's self and all other selves as the ego. Individuation does not shut one out from the world, but gather the world onto one's self. And this is from the structural dynamic of the psyche. So to Jung the self is an archetype, it's the archetype. It is the archetype of order as manifested in the totality of the personality and as symbolized by a circle, a square or the famous quaternity. Sometimes Jung uses other symbols, the child and mandala etc. Jung wrote, the self is a quantity that is supraordinate to the conscious ego. It embraces not only the conscious but also the unconscious psyche and is therefore so to speak a personality which we also are. There is little hope of our ever being able to reach even approximate consciousness of the self. Since however much we may make conscious, there will always exist an indeterminate and indeterminate bone, amount of unconscious material which belongs to the totality of the self, two essays on analytical psychology. The self said Jung is not only the center but also the whole circumference which embraces both conscious and unconscious. It is a center of this totality just as the ego is a center of consciousness, psychology and alchemy. The self is our life's goal says Jung for it is the complete expression of that fear-faithful combination we call individuality to essays on analytical psychology. Okay, in his essay Puer Aeternus, the narcissistic relation to the self, Jeffrey Satinover sums up the differences between Freud and Jung this way. Freud considered that all people begin life in a blissful state that he called primary narcissism. In this state, no distinction between self and world exists. Hence, no painful tensions in the form of as yet unfulfilled desires of the subject for any object, and therefore no conscious experience of drives and frustrations. As the infant develops our it separates itself from its surroundings, it begins to experience needs for other things. As it grows these needs put pressure on the developing ego to acquire the skills necessary in order to fulfill these needs, and so the ego adapts to object reality, objects out there. All the energy which in infancy was bound to the subject in this way slowly extends out and becomes bound up in the subject's pursuit of objects, and this process is normal development. Freud originally described the essence of neurosis as an interruption in this smooth transition from subject bound to object bound libido. The childhood libido reaches out, fascinated by the objects of its desire. But being as yet insufficiently adopted to succeed, it fails to attain its goal. To compensate for this failure in adaptation, and for the consequent lack of gratification, an alternate, easier form of gratification is sought, one with which the ego is already familiar. The libido regresses and reactivates an earlier form of adaptation. It reactivates the blissful state of narcissism, now called secondary narcissism. In this view, narcissistic neurosis consists of the habitual seeking of gratification through self-stimulation, and the consistent refusal to take the more difficult path of adaptation or work. Narcissists are lazy. The grandiose fantasy is preferred to the modest accomplishment. The brief idealized affair, or masturbation, are preferred to the rocky long-term commitment. Jung's modification of this idea is that the retreat to earlier forms of psychic life and behavior, to secondary narcissism, is not only or even primarily an alternate means of gratification. It is rather the necessary way that as yet unused instinctive modes of adaptation latent within the psyche are released, and so the retreat to the narcissistic state releases archetypal fantasies, and these fantasies are the representations in consciousness of inherited, but as yet unused, adaptive behaviors. The regression, therefore, is not in itself neurotic, but rather it is a sign of a compensatory process of the psyche whose purpose is actually enhanced adaptation. Early in his career, Jung equated narcissism with introversion. The general notion that introversion per se is pathological stems from the early Freudian idea that narcissism is a substitute employed where adaptation to object reality or extraversion had failed. In consequence of his expansion of Freud's conception, Jung separated the two terms and the general turning inward of libido introversion was recognized as a servant of psychological development, rather than as an enemy to it. In his book Psychological Types, Jung suggested that introversion does not occur only in response to failures of extraversion, but that the habitual turning of attention inward to the self is a normal function of the psyche, which in some individuals actually predominates in degree over the habitual turning of attention outward to objects. To summarize, narcissism or introversion can be one, a pathological state, or two, a compensatory response, regression in the service of the ego, or three, a normal form of psychological development. And this last idea of Jung, that it's a normal form of psychological development, this idea means that there is such a thing as normal narcissism, healthy narcissism. It implies that to some extent narcissism or introversion is a necessary aspect of all individuals, and that like adaptation to the outer world, there is such a thing as better or worse sorts of adaptation to the inner world. That neurosis can develop, which are narcissistic, not in the sense that the narcissism per se is the neurotic response to failures of external adaptation, but they're narcissistic in the sense that they are failures to develop healthy introversion, failures to develop a proper form and degree of narcissism. In short, according to Jung, narcissistic neurosis, like narcissistic personalities or that, they're simply an exaggerated healthy state, a malignant form of a healthy state. And this is how we see it today. We are more Jungian today than Freudian. Jung postulated the existence of two personalities, actually two selves, one of them being the shadow. Technically, the shadow is a part, though an inferior part, of the overarching personality, one's chosen conscious attitude. The shadow develops this way. Inevitably, some personal and collective psychic elements are found wanting or incompatible with one's personality, one's narrative. The expression of these elements is suppressed, and they coalesce into an almost autonomous splinter personality, and this second personality is contrarian. It negates the official chosen personality, though it is totally relegated to the unconscious. Jung believes therefore in a system of checks and balances. The shadow balances the ego, consciousness. This is not necessarily a negative thing. The behavioral and attitudinal compensation offered by the shadow can be positive. So don't listen to self-styled experts who tell you that shadow is all negative and you need to do shadow work. That's not what Jung said. Jung said, the shadow personifies everything that the subject refuses to acknowledge about himself, and yet is always thrusting in itself upon the subject directly or indirectly, for instance, inferior traits of character and other incompatible tendencies. This is from the archetypes and the collective unconscious. He continued, the shadow is that hidden retraced for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors, and so comprise the whole historical aspect of the unconscious. If it has been believed either to that the human shadow was the source of all evil, it can now be ascertained on closer investigation that the unconscious man, that is, his shadow, does not consist only of morally reprehensible tendencies but also displays a number of good qualities, such as normal instincts, proprietary actions, realistic insights, creative impulses, etc. Listen to Jung not to self-styled experts who peddle shadow work for monetary gain. It would seem fair to conclude that there is a close affinity between the complexes, split-off materials, and the shadow. Perhaps the complexes, also the result of incompatibility with the conscious personality, by the way, perhaps the complexes are the negative part of the shadow. Perhaps they just reside in the shadow or closely collaborate with the shadow in a feedback mechanism kind of thing. Perhaps whenever the shadow manifests itself in a manner obstructive, destructive, or disruptive to the ego, we call it a complex. There may really be one and the same, the result of a massive split-off material and its relegation to the realm of the unconscious, and all these amazing processes happen in the brains of children, infants, toddlers, and babies between the ages of six months old and 36 months old.


Dahmer fed sandwiches to his neighbor Pamela Bass. The woman who lived next door to Dahmer was Pamela Bass. She liked him a lot and didn't have many doubts about what he was doing. She was not cast in Netflix's limited series. Following Dahmer's arrest, Bass confirmed that Dahmer was pleasant and sharing. She even admitted to his feeding her sandwiches. When the brutality of Dahmer's act was revealed, Bass expressed her concern that they may have contained human flesh. I've probably eaten some of his body parts, she said in the documentary, The Jeffrey Dahmer Files. Dahmer did not drink bags of blood while working at the Milwaukee Blood Plasma Center. The fourth episode followed Dahmer when he started working as a phlebotomist at the Milwaukee Blood Plasma Center. In an unsettling turn of events, he brought home a bag of blood to consume. According to real-life accounts to police officials, Dahmer attempted to consume a vial of blood off the center's roof but ended up spitting it out.


So much of the health issues that our society has are based off of a broken food system and what has passed off as food. Our current food system is built on forcing the planet to grow what we want when we want. Jesse Smith and his partners at the Casitas Valley Farm are developing regenerative ways of farming with the planet instead of against it. You apply chemical fertilizers on the scale that conventional ag has for as many years as they've been doing it. It's harmful to the environment and the extraction of soil nutrients without its replenishment. Lack of biodiversity which results in reduced native pollinator habitat. Commercial ag put a high premium on the input of nitrogen, potassium and phosphorus, which are the three elements that make up fertilizer. We now have food products that are almost impossible to segregate from the chemicals in the soil that they were growing in. The value of permaculture principles and their scalability within our food system is they can be implemented as appropriate. A better understanding of natural patterns or biomimicry is key to understanding how to best harmonize with nature. One example that sets Casitas Valley apart from other farms is how we build soil and how we increase biodiversity. What we have here is a system of expediting the natural process of degrading organic material. We need to actually be regenerating all of the systems that have been broken for a long time and not just sustaining them the way they are. It's something that we feel is necessary for the long-term viability of this operation. By interacting with your local food system, by interacting with your local landscapes, by observing how that can benefit your brothers and your sisters and your neighbors and the world, the natural world that's around you, then you're going to benefit not only your system but all the other systems that are intertwined with it.