You're nervous? That's a good sign. No, I'm not really. Oh, damn it. I was hoping you would. I want to be good. I want to be good because I listen to a lot of podcasts and I'm thinking... Joining us from San Francisco, Mill Valley, are you in Mill Valley? I am in Mill Valley right now as I speak to you. In God's country, Mill Valley, Mark Pitta, let me introduce Mark Pitta to my listeners. You might remember him from a couple of years ago. He played the Federal Reserve. We interviewed the Federal Reserve. Mark Pitta as Al Pacino. As Al Pacino. And I ask questions about the Fed because you're not allowed to audit the Fed. You're not. And that's why he kept saying, I'll let you ask this one time. This one time, I will let you ask. And you kept calling me Kate. Oh, you're Kate. Kate, Kate.  Did you? And he goes, no. He says no from that point on in his life forever. No. Mark Pitta... You know, I hope he never dies because that's my best impression. Mark Pitta, and I started together in San Francisco.  You have been on all the television shows. You became a local hero on television in San Francisco. And I have a bone to pick with San Francisco. This is my introduction. San Francisco. Okay, great.  I'm angry at San Francisco. I lived there for... Why, David? It cured me. It turned me into a man. It gave me everything I have. And then I left. And like everybody who leaves San Francisco, I resent it because it's so beautiful, so idyllic. And I can't go back there. And you stepped off the pedestal that was created being successful in San Francisco to out in the real world where no one knew who you were. But you achieved many highlights of a career when you left. So don't shortchange yourself. I know, but the thing about San Francisco, now on today's show we have Jeremiah Tower. Remember Starz Restaurant? Funny guy. You're thinking of Jim High Tower. Jeremiah Tower, Starz Restaurant, Shea Pines, he created modern American cuisine. And he left San Francisco as well and said it's a little too proud of itself, San Francisco. And I have a problem with the comedy community, something you addressed and fixed. But it's too big. It's too big a problem now for you to fix it all by yourself. You created comedy at the Throckmorton Theater in Mill Valley, California. It is... 11 years ago. The best comedy room in the Bay Area. If you're visiting San Francisco, you have to go to Mill Valley. It's over the Golden Gate Bridge. And go see comedy at the Throckmorton. And hanging out there is Mark Pitta. And Mort Saul. There's a lot of famous comedians that have come through. And the reason it all started was because when I finished my TV morning show I had here for five years, I really missed comedy. But Live Nation owns the Punchline and Cubs. I couldn't even get back into my home clubs. So I created a comedy night on Tuesday. And that was very strategic, as you know, because comedians are available on Tuesday. They're either done with their week or they're about to prepare to go for a new week. And it was one of those things that, hey, let's try a weekly show. But having Dana Carvey and Robin Williams as your friends, and they would show up, then a buzz was created, then the audience thought they were going to maybe see Dana or Robin. But when they didn't, what was on stage was a lot of my friends who were hilarious that don't have TV shows or are not famous. And it became a really cool, core comedy audience. So they weren't there to see the famous person. They were there to see comedy, exactly what we went through in the 80s. People just went out to see comedy. Yeah, and it's still going strong. Woody Allen has played the Throckmorton as a musician. He's told one joke. He says, you know, we love coming here and playing for you, but we do it anyway. It's like that old joke where a man comes home and his wife is in bed with his best friend, and he says, Phil, I have to, but you? So he said, we would play anyway. Yeah. Woody Allen speaks. That was so funny because I got to meet Woody Allen. I got to meet Woody Allen and I have, well, I say I have in my position, but when you go through a divorce and you don't have your belongings yet, you may not have this item anymore. Anyway, if I could do it quickly, take the money and run with shot in San Francisco. That was his first movie. I happen to have a neighbor who is in SAG and he's in the famous scene where he cries to rob the bank and the note. Well, he ended up with a gub note. I have a gun on you, is that gub? You know, the famous scene. He ended up with it and he showed it to me and he actually had the note in Woody's handwriting. And when he passed away, I convinced his wife that he always wanted me to have that. So I framed it. Yeah, thank you. I framed it with the lobby card of everybody pointing at the note and my neighbor in the scene holding the note and I had it framed. Thank you. And I said, I'm not giving it to you. And he turned into Woody Allen and he goes, you know, I'm sorry. People give me things that didn't need to take for granted. This is mine. So I have a Woody Allen story out of that. That's cool. That's great. And were you there with Mort? Was it backstage at the Throck Morden? That was actually, Woody and I were the only ones in the green room at that time. Mort performed earlier in the day, early in the evening, and my favorite thing was they're playing and I go into the lobby and Tommy Smothers is in the lobby during the show and I go, Tommy, what do you do in the lobby? And he goes, it's like he's blowing a kid's whistle. That is the worst clarinet. I remember it. And I said to Tommy, I said, so now we're just talking about stuff. You know, the Cosby thing. He goes, that guy's been like that forever.  So, Cosby's... Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Yes! Yep, remember that? Well, we never knew why. We never knew why. I think Cosby thought he did a joke of his or something like that, you know, on the Smothers Brothers comedy hour. Something along those lines. Who would hit Tommy Smothers? It was so much fun to talk to Tommy as an adult, you know, because you grow up watching him as a teenager and one time I had the opportunity at dinner to talk to him. Listen to this dinner, David. Mort Saul, Robin Williams, Shelly Berman, Tommy Smothers, Sammy Hagar.  And I was at the other end of the table, like, why am I sitting away from the legends? And I said, Tommy, and I go, before the entrees come, I go, Tommy, when you were at your height, I hope he doesn't mind me saying this, when you were at your height and the Smothers Brothers comedy hour, who'd you have sex with? He goes, Terry Gar. Wow! She was really hot. He goes, and then one time, it was six months later, I was at a party and she was there. I was trying to pick up on her and playing his loyalty there and confidence that I would never repeat that.  That's the whole purpose of this show. I listen to a lot of podcasts and I'm gonna just go against the grain here. I love Jean Garofalo. I don't know her that well. The last time I saw her was at the gym on Beverly Boulevard. We call the butts on Beverly because they always had the Stairmasters and the Stairmasters and the Stairmasters and the butts were in the window. I liked Jean because she would always call me by my full name. A lot of times on your show and other podcasts, people invariably will talk about, well, I haven't had a drink in 18 years, so I'm just letting you know I am having wine during this podcast. I'm not much of a drinker, but if I get a little tipsy during the podcast, it makes for a better podcast. I used to do a monster party. Matt Winehold and he talks about horror films. And he always get you drunk on that show. Well, Jared, you're on the same episode with Jeremiah Tower who is responsible for the snobbery of California cuisine. We can't imagine a time. We can't imagine a time when people in Mill Valley and the Napa Valley didn't turn their nose up on other cuisine. But it's because of Jeremiah Tower and Shea Penise. Wow. They have Shea Penise and Berkeley, right. So what kind of wine are you drinking? Well, I like this one called Freak Show I did a gig in Lodi and it was a Michael David winery and they gave us a bottle. I really enjoyed it, so it's called Freak Show. It's got circus elephants on the label and stuff like that. If you still buy one... I was surprised to know you lived in New York, David. If I could turn the tables and interview you, what brought you to New York? And I'm sorry if the listeners already know this, but I don't. An airplane? I didn't mean your mode of travel. I meant what spiritually brought you to New York. I grew up in New York and there was a marriage of a couple of decades that crumbled and there was a job offer in New York and I wanted to see my mommy. So I get to hang out with my mother and my sister and friends who I grew up with and... Well, I never knew that, I guess because when I met you in San Francisco I assumed everybody was from there. Did you really think I was from San Francisco? That's a compliment. Yeah, I did. I did think you were from there because when I started you were just one of the guys that went on stage like me and I thought I was just all local guys. I didn't realize that Playboy article where Robin is quoted and the whole article is about the Holy City Zoo, that was a beacon for comedians. It's like, I must go to San Francisco.  The Holy City Zoo, I'll talk about that Playboy interview in a second but I got to the Holy City Zoo and I said, this is fine, I'll give you my coat. Now where's the club? I thought this was where the audience waited before we were seated. That Playboy interview earlier in the week we had Steven Pearl on the show and I saved my first calendar, October of 1982 Steven Pearl presents. It was me, Kurt Weldon and somewhere in storage in Los Angeles is this framed calendar, Rebecca Irwin put me on and taped to the calendar is a piece from that Playboy interview with Robin Williams. So it's the calendar and it's too personal for me to talk about it but there is a quote that I cut out from Playboy from Robin that I glued to that calendar and that is my penis. Everything flows from that. Everything I have in life is from the Holy City Zoo. That's where I became. Don't you feel that when you're learning something new like stand up and you realize why I might be good at this those are special times no matter where you started. A lot of comedians have fond memories of Boston or Chicago and don't you think that our group is so tight that we've never lost friendships unless there was an argument that we could go past but Monty Hoffman anyway I think that lots of us never fan of mine but I did like the guy but this is a fraternity we've been at the bunker together it's like the San Francisco group in the 80s so I'm so tight I have Dan St. Paul who was with Murphy St. Paul Sue Murphy at the time I actually was recording something in agreement I have Dan and I meeting we've been friends ever since hey I used to do an impression of Dustin Hoffman Al Pacino and Robert De Niro in a movie called We're All Alike and I just would quote their famous scenes hey you look like those guys I go hey what's your name Dan Hi Dan you know it's just so weird I've known him ever since that day Mark Pitta it's interesting about many things are interesting about you because I want to talk about the history of the San Francisco comedy scene you are one of those people who is hysterically funny and at the same time you love comedy and you're also kind of a historian when it comes to the scene you really genuinely love the comedy scene I do I'm a little insulted by comedians now who don't even go back or here I was at the the great American comedy festival in Nebraska and Johnny Carson's hometown and Eddie Brill puts on Did you ever meet Johnny? I did but I'll get to that in a minute but I met the festival and the person getting the veterans award was David Steinberg and he did over 300 tonight show shots so he's on stage with Eddie Brill and Eddie's interviewing him he's telling these great stories and I go into the green room to get some water and all the other comedians, the young ones are on their phones and I'm like you're missing something these stories he had was invaluable my favorite I don't know if it's famous at this point but he tells about directing the Arthur in Golden Girls his first directorial succumbed up with he's hard to work with well he he said he would direct her like A B instead of saying that line there why don't you cross the couch sit down and say the line why in God's name would I do that well it's just a suggestion so at the end of the week she always takes her directors out for a drink because she knows it's hard to do it she's sitting with David Steinberg David why do people take an instant dislike to me and David said to save time which is a fantastic ad-lib I mean but the young comedians are like not even listening to these great stories and like oh like remember being on stage and hearing another comedian I think it was Don Ware he was basically doing Cosby Cosby, yeah he was like what's going on you know it's like we know what you're doing well Larry Miller remember Larry Miller one of the greatest comics Larry Miller hit 70 one of the greatest comics ever ever early on he was a little like Robert Klein do you remember that Robert Klein was definitely influenced on him yeah and then eventually from that and I remember looking at Larry going well he's kind of been influenced a little too much by Robert Klein and then he broke free of Robert Klein and I would say I don't know why I'm talking about Larry Miller other than Don Ware was kind of doing Bill Cosby although I don't think he was doing the thing well one time I remember that no no no no no I witnessed this he said on stage my brother and I think I yelled out Russell because it's just too close my brother Russell because he'll go into the room and the guy will just play and he'll go let you give it the pill and he wakes up and I got a robot is that the weirdest thing though that Mort Sol told me that Bill Cosby was always kind of an angry guy it's kind of sad because it's like torn down so quickly but let me ask you a question I can't think of any other way at this point I asked this of Robert Smigel and Gilbert Gottfried and I'm going to ask you the same question you the three of you do a perfect Bill Cosby how do you not talk like that all day if I could do that I would just talk that way all day how do you stop the Al Pacino is harder for me to stop to be honest with you because you can go to Starbucks and order like him and you get it right away because it's very intimidating I like a tall, not fat moment of his fuck you get it immediately right but if you go Cosby ordering coffee it's not good what the thing is the water but the water doesn't want it's funny I feel like a parrot sometimes you know I even used to come up with somebody new and I've been trying just to do somebody new I was thinking of Mandy Patinkin from Homeland and this is the only impression I have it's really short previously on Homeland that's basically it that's all I got I love your laugh David I think you were listening listen people say to me you always praise your guests and you always you laugh why would I be doing this if I didn't have funny people I'm not going to put on somebody it's not like I'm anyway you don't have to fake laugh either now because you've been successful and by the way it's my opportunity to tell you how proud I am of you I think the last time I saw you in San Francisco you were writing for Marty Short his Broadway was it called or no fame becomes me and we saw you outside my wife and I at the time at the time now we saw you and I was just happy I don't know if you remember this but you were writing for his character the old time Irving Cohen get me a B get me a bouncy C you were writing one liners for that do you remember this that we were in the theater I'm like in row 10 but you're like in row 25 and he does this joke that bombs and you laugh and Marty breaks character in character is that you Feldman then there were two other people laughing cause we were the only person that knew what was going on but that's how that's how flexible that guy was or I told you that wouldn't work Feldman that wouldn't work now that I brought you up and complimented you one of the things I have on my YouTube channel is a KPIX news report on the rising stars of stand up comedy and they have footage of you just eating it hang on you're wrong you got two things wrong there first of all I didn't eat it I completely bombed and tanked it and it wasn't KPIX it was K-R-O-N K-R-O-N Wayne Shannon Wayne Shannon are you sure there was a lot of news coverage at the time because you're on stage at the zoo and you're saying something about evolution and you basically just end up cause it's often you say evolution is not funny you just kind of like just kind of bury it and move on but that sucks cause that's all they showed of you at that point you are you have on tape your meeting Dan St. Paul you have always been a collector of the San Francisco comedy scene I know and I was supposed to be the guy that wrote I was supposed to write a book about it and then you gotta do a documentary and then you gotta in there I have a lot of people but I have the final interviews of Jose Simone of John Cantu you know people like that I have them and I transcribed them but I just didn't know how to work it into a book so I think I have one book I was thinking of just instead of doing a documentary just doing a web series of the stories that way you could put a little history in there let me meet Johnny Carson I want to go back to Johnny Carson for a second cause you didn't mention that when I did his show of course I met him after and the thing about my appearance was when I finished I walked back to the curtain curtain opens and I walked right through and I thought something's missing I never looked at Johnny to get the okay sign from him I just was I don't know why I just froze and then when I meet him I go my whole life to get the okay sign I was trying to give it to you you didn't look back but if you look at that you look at it he actually goes out of his way to mouth great shot or funny stuff he made sure people knew why he liked me and then I said I waited my whole life to get the I was trying to give it to you and then he shakes his hand and he leaves and then Tuma says he comes back and he goes I hope you come back I have my calendar and then Jim McCauley who booked the comics was really into giving people their first shots when he announced retirement so I never got to go back I did that with Jay Leno but Jay Leno is the easy thing I worked with him on the road he was doing his show wasn't that special he was doing Johnny with Jay that is weird do you have in New York and Tana TV where they replayed Johnny Carson's show at 11 o'clock they don't have that in the Bay Area it went Spanish all of a sudden but those were great to watch you see guys first shot now your friends and you're from the future because Robert Blake is sitting there and you're like oh I know what's going to happen to him it's like I'm from the future when that show comes out I wish I smoked dope because I used to smoke dope and watch Johnny Carson I know if I was smoking dope now I could feel like in the future I know I could transport myself back to the early 80's or the late 70's convince myself that I'm from the future yeah I've been watching old Rickles the San Francisco me too I wrote a song about Rickles I was so upset and I was so inspired that I wrote a song and I performed it at the Throckmorton on Tuesday two Tuesdays ago and I put it on YouTube and I put it on Twitter and I called Kevin Pollock and I said Kevin I got seven followers I just got back to Twitter could you share this song about Rickles and he does and by the end of the day I have 500 hits or 400 hits and then I sent one to Mindy Rickles his daughter there's two versions one is live or I do Rickles during the to the tune of Hallelujah were you saying it as Don you saying Hallelujah I would say things like Hallelujah how much do you weigh tiny how do you do Rickles lines like Hallelujah is that your wife but there's another version I did were actually dropped in Rickles during the Hallelujah and I only had 1.9 seconds because that was the space I had to deal with and he talked really fast so I got them all in but yeah you lose guys like Rickles that's why I like to pay tribute people don't know who these his comics are he was doing it to the end he was doing it to the end that leaves me this question how do you want to go out David why do you know something I don't know no but I was thinking of Dick Sean I'm like that could be kind of cool dying right on stage that could be kind of interesting Dick Sean from the producers comedian died in the 1980s people thought it was part of his act right his son was in the audience and knew something was up he was the only one on stage to me stand up comedy is such a denial of death and I just can't imagine it I just don't like to think about it I just don't you know what I noticed about Mill Valley though there's a lot of talk about it that was almost a letter of impression you know what I noticed about Mill Valley you know what I noticed when you guys hang out I can't do impressions around for me doing impressions I can do it around loved ones not that you're not so those two people really it requires me to be totally uninhibited and I've worked to do an impression around you is but you know who gave me courage to do impressions is Robin because Robin you know I can't even talk about him and I'll see clips of him to this day and go and still be a little envious just go like but he was not an amazing impressionist which made him even funnier you know what I mean watching him do Ed Sullivan laughing my ass off and going that doesn't even sound like Ed Sullivan which made it even he did the essence of a lot of people but he never sat probably worked on an impression like some of us do yeah that makes him even more miraculous and Dana I don't want to get into this conversation Dana anyway go ahead I'm sorry well no Dana you finish that because Dana loves the abstract once he nails an impression he abstracts it to the point of like you know Bush never said not going to do it Dana did and not going to do it eventually becomes not get that just to exaggerate it so he thought it was funny I don't work on a lot of impressions but my favorite one and no one does not even Kevin Pollock Robert Duvall and one time I was talking to a friend of mine who is like a second cousin of the great author Pat Conroy and I read all of Pat Conroy's books and when he passed away I said to my Eleanor my friend said I wish I would have met him and she goes you did you were with me we went to Pasadena when he was signing book the beach music and you did Robert Duvall for him from the great Santini and I'm like oh that's right and I flashed remember the great Santini of course with Robert Duvall like you know what did he say like number 23 comes number 23 goes down he don't come home you're my sweetest little girl and and he said I remember he said put down a video and send it to me so I did get to meet him but that's that's my favorite one you're going to cry too you're going to cry you're going to cry you can't go down to New York City police cops is funny the five families will come after the family will be outcast that's incredible I saw him once at the Four Seasons bar and I just froze do you ever like to meet famous people I always like to be introduced to them I never want to be the guy who goes you know you come in contact with a lot of famous people uh I want to ask you a question about impressions when you're when you're with when you're hanging out with Robin and Dana and Pearl do you guys just lock into like is it conceivable that you will spend the entire day talking like Bill Cosby no but that I'm glad you asked that I was with Dana and hey Dana throw on Grizzly Man okay the Warner Herzog documentary about the guy who lives with the bears but Warner Herzog narrates it and so I start talking like Herzog then Dana start talking like Herzog we would not stop because the guy had that you know Shredwell thought the bears were nice and cuddly kind with the buttons for the eyes but they thought of him as dinner but you have to say the word bears and then we're watching the Beatles documentary eight days a week by Ron Howard and during that I go what would Warner Herzog say about this Dana even though Ringo would stand up to Drum but he could not compete with Paul you know that that would be ours of doing that no one's gonna like where's the next Warner Herzog impression nobody cares but that's one of the fun things about being with hanging with comedians you could just riff without a podcast being recorded or documentary filmmaker just having fun right I guess maybe because I'm afraid of doing Cosby and not being able to turn it off I really I think if I could talk like Bill Cosby I know this sounds insane but if I could do that I would just be especially now I would there's a reason I cannot do Cosby do you have to study I mean how do you do it how do you I think it's like a person who can sing on key we have an ear for music we have an ear for impressions now that you say that it did happen with Dana again we were driving to a casino right outside the border of Utah and Dana's talking to the driver and he goes who was here last and they said Bill Cosby and Bill Cosby finds out that Dana's coming next and he goes call me later and tell me how the boy draws not like a competition to go so we would just do Cosby the whole time it was a guy that was drawing his own little phone he makes sure he tells me there's five seats they're empty but of course it's a road trip too so we're bored and we're just doing good and I heard that Cosby had to have cookies by his he wouldn't sleep with a hotel room he would sleep in the meet and greet room on the couch because he didn't like the colors and he would have to have like 15 chocolate chip cookies outside his door with milk and he would know there's only 13 cookies it's like all these eccentric things you find out about people it's like the Albert Brooks story hang on for one second I've heard a lot of things about Bill Cosby in the past couple of years but this cookie story you know what I cannot watch yeah that's it now I'm done with a famous story Albert Brooks' wife mother lives in Mill Valley so they were here for some kind of birthday for her and Mort Sol was playing the Throckmorton how do you hang on for one second everybody's got to go to the Throckmorton in Mill Valley I haven't been there in a couple of years but I do remember it being like that I just remember going you too Rob Reiner do you know that it was just I know it's crazy go ahead I remember you on stage there you were creating such tension leading to this pedophile joke and you could just see the speakers closing and people and you broke them by saying God I hope this is funny at the end you know it's kind of broken but that's the essence of comedy you create this tension and release the tension and you did it without but it's like people are like don't do it we're all parents right but so getting back to Albert Albert Brooks walks over to the theater because Mort Sol is playing that particular night I'm upstairs in the balcony and then I go down to the green room after the show and Albert walks in and I'm like holy cow the reason I'm doing comedy just walked in the room and I had met him before but he was hilarious in the green room and it turns out that he's great in green rooms and parties but he doesn't want to go on stage anymore but there's this famous story of Rob Reiner's party and Albert's holding court for like 20 minutes and breaking everybody up and he kind of says thank you good night and he goes to the next room two hours go by Rob saying goodbye to somebody at the door and in the bushes he hears Rob what it's Albert what are you doing I left my coat in there but I did so well I didn't want to go back so that's fucked up he is very interesting in that he started doing the Tonight Show now think about this for a second you did the Tonight Show with Johnny right oh yes I did that is correct and is Bill Cosby there Bill are you there I did the Tonight Show when I was a young man and a pervert and how many weeks would it take you Bill Cosby to prepare for your Carson shot I don't remember how many weeks because I played the Vegas and I played Tahoe and I played Atlantic City and I came back to it as a couple alright so it was a big thing for you Albert Brooks Bill was never performed in front of an audience he performed at Rob Reiner I didn't have a phone for my friends and I knew it was funny he would call his friends and if they laughed he knew it was funny and he'd do it on the show and Rob Reiner the father said to Johnny Carson you have to have this guy on your show and Albert Brooks went from somebody's living room into 40 million living rooms I read that part in Carl Reiner's book about Albert as a teenager doing Houdini's son and all he has around his wrist is this thin little he's not saying this right he's held his wrist together by a piece of string barely made into a loop to hold it there and he goes behind a curtain and he cannot get it off as Houdini it's this whole thing like I'll be with you in a minute you gotta read the Carl Reiner's book on that but Albert was very conceptual what's interesting about just going from a living room we're calling your friends and then just going directly we have Jeremiah Tower on the show today and he was talking about absolute taste you know how musicians have absolute pitch he has absolute taste and he wrote a cookbook with all the ingredients and how to prepare the meals without ever testing it and I remember Dennis Miller getting a special ready and I said we're you know were you doing this I don't need to test it in front of an audience I'm not a hack like you if I think it's funny it's funny and then he when I thought I had to do that I've been out of the business back in the that that is genius where you can just you know it already you know it already have you ever written a joke and you laugh and this is going to kill and you're just shocked and on the other hand I do a joke in my act I don't even like and it gets a big laugh I don't know why this is funny in 2006 2006 I wrote the greatest joke ever Jerry Lewis had a birthday today he's 80 right I go oh I and I did it backstage at the ice house I came up with it at the ice house and everybody was going amazing that's going to kill it was one of their anniversary shows and I opened with it he's 80 nothing this sounds like lady yeah and somebody says to me well he's 80 which means most of the people in your audience don't know about lady they don't know I know how famous do you have to be you ever see the footage of Martin and Lewis throwing their autographs down to 53rd street and you're just there's just packed how do you get to be that famous that's why I think Jerry today has the right to be about stand up because he was that famous I've told you this I opened for you David Schuber and I opened for you you in the Bay Area this was when we were all single the women it felt like a hard day's night it really did the women were chasing after you and we had to go from the green room to a restaurant in old Sacramento and we had to run and I felt they weren't running after I felt like Ringo and you were Paul we were running away from female fans what is that like to actually do it cue the band those were the days well let me ask Bill Cosby that question we have Bill Cosby on the line Bill are you there he left I was going to ask him what it's like to have women just follow they don't really follow me because the water I give first makes it a little hazy I don't want to quote other comedians without giving them credit but Dana Carvey has a great joke on Cosby what if he just was old and he just got the order wrong do I give him the pill and then touch the tinny give him the pill Dana Carvey quoting Dana Carvey gosh you leave because no I appreciate that but at the time now you probably I never dated in high school I had one girlfriend in high school for three weeks and that was it so I didn't know until I got into comedy that when I got up and I do jokes about being single I would get off stage and then women would approach me hanging out by the door when they left one girl would say like wow you're cute would you like a drink then I got the confidence to pick up women but back then it was just amazing it was fun I don't know how to answer that other than it was new to me and I took advantage of it yeah that must be my mind is wandering at a time when the women who walked up to comics after a show weren't crazy one comedian I remember I won't say his name but he turned down the girl because he was sore that's how much he was getting at the time ouch there was a time when maybe it's a it's an age there was a time when we were starting that the women who were attracted not to you you're a whole different other story I mean there were women who were attracted to regular comedians and they weren't crazy as you get older the women who are attracted to that's not true that says something about my instinct like why did I pick that person when they turned out so strange was it me am I not judging people correctly but I had a female friend I have one of those friends that is female but she's like a guy in that I could tell her anything and there's no sexual tension or anything and she said when you're with a woman they all want to think you're in love with them so if you're going with that premise they would probably prepare you for when things get a little weird I understand hang on stay on that for one second so women think you're in love with them or they want you to be in love women want you to think women want to think you're in love with them eventually that's what my female friend said and are they in love with you that's the part where you're talking to a guy that's going through a divorce and I thought my wife was in love with me and if someone's in love with you how can they act that way later so it's kind of sad I wish her the best do you think men do you think men I know the answer to this question men need women more than women need men is that a fair statement I wish it wasn't that way but is that true right I think so I think it has to do with men want to be validated by the opposite sex if they're heterosexual right and what a women some men need other men some women need other women what do women want that's a book isn't that a title what do they want Mort Saul would say men want the love women want the old fashioned protection security thing does that still exist with women wanting and achieving the heights of like David bail me out on this I'm trying to like so Mort maintains Mort Saul the father Mort loves love he's a romantic so he has every movie he's ever written is about love and yeah that's where he goes and yet his comedy is politics and love of America and he gets up and movies he loves movies that's where Mort and I bonded I'm not very political so we bonded with movies like the other day I was with him and I said you're seeing my darling Clementine and he doesn't say yes or no he just starts quoting it Henry Fonda walks in says the bartender are you married nope I've been a bartender my whole life he just had these clip these little tiny pockets of dialogue he remembers and then I would throw him a couple so he likes me because we both like PCM but yeah he loves love and he right now he's turning 90 and he's like where are they where are these women I married that you know vowed to be in love with me he's still disappointed his first wife was interviewed for this biography is coming out about Mort on May 1st I don't know when people are listening to this and I haven't read it yet so I don't know what his first wife says but Mort goes yeah my first wife said every day married to Mort was a nightmare and Mort said even the shopping hahaha so so he still has he's still got his guns loaded somebody should do a move I mean he would Mort wow gonna mill valley and just hanging out with you and Mort Saul wow well if you want to see more every Thursday he's on periscope at 7pm pacific standard time and through twitter as well so people ask questions through twitter and you'll be watching more and all of a sudden Albert Brooks will come on or Judd Apatow or Ali Baldwin these people are really they love to listen so business and there's something to be said for living that long you have to have more knowledge of everybody else you know so we'll quit on twitter is it more Saul says on twitter yes yes and on the 7 o'clock you could click that and go right to periscope I just go right to periscope like the other day I was sitting there actually was sitting there watching it and you know everybody wants to talk about Lenny Bruce because he's you know he's the he's the messiah and but it's more it's more but it's more it's more it's more it's more it's more it's more it's more it's everything more it is the ur text of comedy it all begins with more Saul it just does it really does it because that style still exists today and it holds up if you go back if you go back and listen to him from the fifties it's it's amazing he has a great joke and I don't know if it's going to translate now but when he was at the Carlisle in New York and Dick Cavett introduced him I was in the audience and then he takes questions from the audience now I kind of set him up because they just like the joke I go what is your favorite political movie he goes three days of the condor at the end Redford is there Cliff Robertson they're right at that building they're at the New York Times building and he says I told them a story and Cliff Robertson says and this is the joke he goes now everybody on the east side is going to know it's a joke about who reads the post and who reads it yeah and everybody on the upper east side is going to yeah I was at dinner with Mort recently and he sneezed violently twice notice big sneezes and I said that really shakes you up doesn't it Mort says that's the closest to death I've been all day because he knows that when you sneeze everything stops for a split second your heart everything does it really yeah that's why it's a brilliant joke I just thought it was funny too the way you did it like oh yeah that's true they say that everything stops for a quick a second maybe that's why it feels so good don't you feel grateful that you're in a business where you get to meet and hang with people like this like the fact that I got to know Robin Williams the last 10 years of doing the Throckmoor I saw him every week we'd have coffee during I would have coffee with Mort and Robin at Teeth in Tiberon and you're like did I ever think this was going to happen and because I used to hang around ball players I know not to be nervous around them I'd just be cool and that was insane and then I got to meet like when Robert Klein was here he's here because I go I like to see Robert Klein so he just booked him and he did hour 45 on stage two hours in the green room just holding court with the comedians oh yeah tell them great stories so you know I got to meet George Carlin and I got to meet Rickles once and he did a Rickles to me but not insulting me I said hey Don a mark I'm friends with Kevin Pollock you guys are in casino together and he goes Pollock he doesn't know who he is always different voices pain in the ass and I thought okay I got a little Rickles and he was doing and he was doing the voice over for Mr. Potato Head for a particular Oscar ceremony where they're under the seats and they have to talk about best actress so this is Don doing his V.O and this is exactly how he did it he couldn't say Gwyneth Paltrow yeah there's a lot of good actresses that Gwyneth Pott I'm sorry start again that Gwyneth Pott I'm sorry one more time that's good actress that Gwyneth Pott oh jeez I hope she doesn't win I got to see Don being Don which is fantastic I met Don oh good I met Don my story is very quickly because I've told it a million times on this show is I made a bad joke and he says only Jew in the room and he ain't funny and I went to when he passed that's it there is nobody now that will ever say what we feel yeah yeah when I wrote that song about him one of the lines was about being PC and how he stuck by what he did and the audience that paid already knew what they were going to get so you don't go to being shocked you go there hoping to hear what you want to hear saying what you feel that's so interesting saying what you feel addressing the elephant in the room that's what he did that was so amazing to watch him especially on Carson it was totally in the moment he would pick up whatever the energy was and address it not really saying anything quotable he would address the energy that was right in front of everybody yeah he was he was dialed in my favorite one is on youtube now Glenn Campbell and Don Dellawee uh huh yep and Glenn Campbell can't keep his mouth shut and Glenn Campbell I think is drunk or something but but when he says you know I'll just cut to the chase Don Rico says about his wife my wife just goes in the bedroom and goes got a minute and you see Johnny and Johnny already knows what he's gonna say and he's holding and then Johnny says well uh at least your wife knows about your stamina you know it's just like you know your staying power you're staying power I can't get this on TV anymore why because nobody moves down on the couch one you had this dynamic of Peter Fonda sitting next to Gore Vidal and you're like how is that ever gonna happen again and I miss that when nobody stays on the couch anymore why don't they stay on the couch anymore what is that I don't understand where do they have to go it's only 20 minutes left in the show you know let's have Lenny Gaga sitting next to you know Ronnie Lodder there's something that could happen from that you know why are we running Hollywood David I think everybody is a star and everybody is controlled by a publicist who is going overboard to protect their client and so they become like mobsters and they'll just say now they'll say no no Glenn Campbell can't stay while Don Rickles is Glenn has to leave and you can only have Glenn for 20 minutes that's how it works these days you're gonna have to answer first on Tino Carlo yeah the uh by the way now Al Pacino is Michael at the end of Godfather says to Carlo Bargini's dad, Tatalia's dad today I handle all family business so I have to who approached you was it Tatalia or Bargini why does Carlo answer they're already dead he's not gonna get any confirmation as soon as he says what are the names he's dead they're like I don't know I don't know how many times but no because there are I've had to give up the Godfather for three years I have not watched the Godfather I was watching it every night on my phone and when you watch it on your phone you see everything on your phone when you watch it on your phone you can see every shot and you begin to see continuity problems you begin to see you know if you watch the Godfather 5,000 times every night it doesn't hold up well well we all know that we all know that Sonny misses punching Carlo he's a foot away we know that but continuity problems are all throughout history I like I like movie mistakes that are just specific like my favorite one is North by Northwest where even Marie St shoots Cary Grant in the United Nations cafeteria and it's just shocking thing she pulls a gun out and shoots him and it's shocking to everybody but the kid in the blue shirt dead center right before she shoots him he puts his fingers in his ears because it's probably taken up his six and it's dead center so you can't miss this kid that's interesting speaking of oh I was just going to say there's a huge continuity problem in the Godfather it's called Godfather 3 okay that's the continuity problem go ahead I'm sorry there are parts of 3 I like I know I know I know me too she got a nervous breakdown and Sophia Copp was stepped dead hey there are parts of Godfather 3 that I think about all the time there are actual scenes especially the Vatican banking story and I always thought George Hamilton was underutilized in that movie it's like probably George Hamilton's best role the idea that they would have him as a consigliary was genius go ahead I know that Duvall wanted the same billing, the same money what are you going to do I don't like that when sequels do that but it's like with soap operas now the role of Thomas we've played by what so let me ask you one more question before we wrap this up have you ever written a treatment for a film yeah is there a secret to it I've been approached to write one I actually signed up and it's only $90 I signed up for the David Mamet Masterclass because I just need a little guidance I had this great idea I've already pitched it the people are really excited but they need it on paper register with the guild and all that you know when it's stolen but I don't know how to write one go get Final Draft it's a screenwriting program right I have within there there's an application for treatments and once you see the structure and it's they have the template you just start filling it in and you know the log line and then it's and what do I know about movies I don't know it's inspired by a few the Betty Davis Joan Crawford thing on FX I'm like I always want to see a movie about blank I don't want to say it because I'm doing it and it's a biopic but the person who owns the rights loves the idea does Steve Harvey host that FX series the few it's one of the ones he doesn't I think it's just Mark Pitta we just scratched the surface we really did because you're right we have to wrap it up there is a history to San Francisco so many great comedians came out of San Francisco you know and were drawn to San Francisco Ellen DeGeneres from New Orleans you know Whitney Brown, Kevin Pollack well of course that was San Jose but you know Solomita Brothers from Boston Kevin Meany Dana Gould, Dana Carvey Jake Johansson Robin Williams Paula Poundstone you know Whoopi Goldberg and it goes on and on and then it kind of stops Kamau Bell Kevin Avery Kamau Bow you know who I saw at the Throck Morton who ate it Mark Curry this is a woman named Allie Wong that I've seen her progress from when she started and now she has like I think something you know on Netflix and you're like I just I love watching people grow and then it's sad to see when a person is every time they're on stage they do word for word with it last time so they're not working on their act obviously but it is fun to see the progression of people and Allie Wong is coming to New York Jeff Wills and she's that big huh yeah and she's really it was she bombed and then the next time you could saw all the work she put into it and she killed and controlled the crowd and it was you know how long has she been doing it eight years do you see Jeff Wills at all never yeah I never seen him either I should have him on this show right you would have some stories when you talk about this is a guy who took a job at Fox John and Ann Fox booking the punchline he booked the punchline and turned that into the biggest comedy booking franchise in the world I mean he's live nation he created before Jeff Wills comics didn't play theaters yeah right do you remember when the punchline if you went to the kitchen you're connected to the old Waldorf which was another Bill Graham club block and roll and I'm seeing it's me Carrie Snow and Bobby Slayton now Bob Fisher who kind of looked like a young Harvey Kytel was the doorman and he goes and I get off stage I bring up Carrie and Bob goes you know Roy Orbison's next door can I go see some of that? yeah so I go through the kitchen and I'm watching Roy Orbison saying pretty woman Leah and then I'm going to leave in dreams and then these things you know running scared and then I go through the kitchen back to the punchline and Bob Fisher is on stage introducing Bobby Slayton because I stayed a little too long at the concert but that's how much fun it was back then you can sneak in Paul Prudome came Bill Graham brought him tying all this taste about food into your podcast he was the first guy to bring Paul Prudome and we remember but the comics were eating alligator soup because they sent some over you know wow I can't believe I tied up I tied up your previous guest with my portion Mark Pitta how do people get in touch with you? 415 I need work I don't know do you have a twitter handle? yeah I'm I'm RoadComic3 and I'm on Facebook but you know what I did on Facebook is I only friend people I've met because when I'm reading about people on Facebook I want to know the person so I don't want just to read 50 things from people I don't know but yeah twitter I have very few followers I went off for a couple years and kicked back on but go to my youtube page I have a lot of fun videos I post if you like comedy it's been too long I miss you I miss you too you know when I listen to you talking to Larry it's like well you're in the room with me so it feels good to have friends back stay on the line hang on for one second thank you Mark


There is no greater wealth than wisdom, no greater poverty than ignorance, no greater heritage than culture, and no greater support than consultation.