usually there would be a question to prompt you like what does x characters decision here represent in terms of like the the broader narrative like you'd have to say something about someone involved in the film or some aspects of the book something specific that's not just generic adjective this made me feel stuff um and this is who directed it that you have to get a bit more granular than that overview but it's kind of telling as well like the the fact that this book is supposed to have been written by celebrated film critic stucman but actually could have been written by pretty much anyone even people who hadn't really seen the film um is yeah kind of indicative of the overall quality of the review i think yep something that i'm noticing as well as that um most of the time he's not really most of the time he doesn't like to talk about anything that gets like a little bit more personal in terms of the impact that any given film has on it like with signs he did it but even then like not in a super comprehensive way but like there's no points in any of these of how this film there's no human element no human touch exactly like how did this film impact you in terms of what did it make you think about yourself did it change you and the way that you felt about yourself in any particular way like a really great story can where it introduces you to like some new idea or concept or theme that just takes root in your brain and is really hard to dislodge because i mean a lot of the time that's what you're looking for right when you're looking for stories as the ones that really how yeah how to make you feel you know how did it make you feel yeah that's me you're a human yeah because telling us it made you feel is like well yeah not really enough though is it you felt things you're like but what things like you don't have to write that your characters were breathing like we yeah you assume so yeah and to me it's just like it's like a lack of caring about the material like if i if i was providing a review on something like american psycho i would want to go into some depth to it it's just like here's what i think is happening here but there's just like no incentive incentive on his part to like go into any real this makes you wonder what what a casual conversation with them would be like it's the only kind of conversation you can have with them talk about his favorite movie and it's like okay go on tell me what your favorite movie like your buddies with them you just get into the conversation probably the first science yeah science might be the one to actually cry out some kind of controversial perspective yeah because he feels things passionately about i don't even want a controversy i just wanted to tell me more well controversial to him is normal for us is kind of what i'm getting at giving details of a movie's plot is controversy yeah he's like whoa now i will i will tell you what happened to the protagonist in that film yeah whoa yeah well i have a problem with that broadly like i feel like there's this weird conflation between a plot summary and a review and with a lot of like youtubers and it's just like come tell me what you think about it like you know go dive beneath the surface at least a little bit you know because i can get a plot summary from fucking anywhere i can get it from the website of the of the movie you know what the media yeah all these websites i'm gonna watch the watch the movie the people trying to sell you the film will tell you what it's sort of about yeah oh boy well that leaves us with one more from az whatever he would like to hear i had a look i was gonna say casino royale but then i changed my mind oh my and i would like to hear what stuck when has to say about enemy oh the film new film yeah well we could do both because i'm kind of curious what you have to say about the reinvention of uh james bond but why don't we do that last we'll do enemy first yeah yeah how many people here have seen enemy i have not seen it i have no all right well as this will be all for you then you got to tell us how insightful this is okay you can tell us now if you like because you don't actually you could give a good guess right now yeah enemy was a nice film and i thought it was nice that's too much it's calm down it's quite like it actually okay here we go enemy mystery thriller director denny villeneuve starring jake jillian hall melanie i assume loran and sara gordon gordon gordon gordon studio mecanismo mecanismo cool all right when here's the review here we go that spider that freaking spider for a cinephile there's nothing better than a confusing movie that begs them to hang around underneath the theater marquee grasping its straws to decipher what they just saw it's nothing better than that there's nothing better than that i don't know about that okay enemy is directed by the immensely gifted denny villeneuve starring jake jillian hall in a daringly restrained performance so confounding is enemy that as of this writing over seven hundred and seventy thousand baffled people have watched my analysis video in which i attempt to explain its hidden meanings wow why is that in this book is that in your book you fuck over seven hundred and seventy thousand people have watched a youtube video that i made on youtube links in the description oh my god anyway uh after initially after initially seeing enemy i sat in awe at the puzzle pieces the film left scattered across the floor it was almost as if villeneuve was taunting me to approach this puzzle and doing so took two months two months this is me reading it by the way even now as i write this i'm positive there are still things i've missed so wait has he put this in here because he thinks he's the person who cracked the film when no one else did or something i cracked the code well he said he said a whole load of nothing so yeah he hasn't said anything yeah we'll get there next paragraph i feel that with a film like this you'd benefit to know little about the plot so i won't say much besides the basics what else do you ever say okay okay let's go go ahead i mean you mostly fail about the basics too so i'm very curious jillian hall is convinced he has an identical twin he never knew about and is desperate to meet him to assume this briefs and wait that's it that's sorry just the idea of him saying um that he has an identical twin that he never knew about it was like duh of course he never fucking knew about him then he wouldn't think he had an identical twin if he had an identical twin or not what is the plot of that he lives with this creepy lookalike and he grew up with this weirdo in his house that shares his face i feel like the i won't say too much is because i i'm not actually convinced he's seen this film what do you mean he explained it to 770 thousand baffled people that is a quote by the way he has seven to the list mm baffled people he's talking to okay that is desperate to to meet him to assume this brief synopsis is all enemy has to offer would be tantamount to observing one brick on the great wall of china deciding you've seen enough what what are you talking about chris you know what i'll i'll reiterate what i've said before writing is really difficult most people can't do it with a damn okay moving on this movie can actually be researched honestly ask yourself when's the last time you saw a new film that actually required serious thought wait serious thought i don't need to research it make up your mind sorry that's that's like a perplexing the reason i stopped there was i was like surely everyone here takes issue with that statement that's stunning that he would say that that is stunning he's basically just shat on all of the other films in this when i say stunning i mean stunned into silence like i am stunned that he wouldn't say that i was like where do you start with that so he's basically just made the statement that this is the only film he has seen in recent memory that required serious thought yeah the other ones didn't require serious thought they only required unserious thought there were little baby movies compared to enemy i need to remind you of the films that entered this list that apparently did not require any kind of serious thought american psycho memento crouching tiger hidden dragon spirited away signs he said the signs was so important but apparently not fucking hell old boy return to the king no country woman yeah incredible shawna the dead history of violence i don't understand how none of these qualify zodiac why doesn't that qualify have you ever taken two months to think about a film or have i ever taken two months to explain to 770 000 baffled people what a film means he's a reviewer this is his job he's supposed to apply serious thought no everything he watches only to the films that earn it which apparently is only enemy 2013 at least one made the chris duckman grade one made the cut in the 2000s man i mean the the the spider visual is the lowest hanging fruit that you can grab from that movie so an unintellectualized about that movie than the spider i don't even know this movie so no no it's like there's a spider and some twin it's like oh what right so the twin thing a little bit better jake gillagore a little bit rent rent a little bit better than cockman or suckman or whatever money is savage uh he watches a film and when he's watching the film he sees an actor in the film that looks identical to him and he's he's really kind of uh curious about this he's been told to watch this film you know and then he gets to the point and there's like a bell i think it's a bell hop it's been a little while since the enemy i think it's a bell hop and it's it's jake gillagore and he's and he's sort of wondering how on earth he could have this this this actor which looks like him and so he decides to go out and find the actor and sort of confront the actor if they if they are related if they if they do know each other and then when the actor realizes that he has a double like uh jake gillagore then it leads to a much more interesting path as he tries to exploit this and uh i mean then you do go off into massive spoiler territory because it involves the women in their lives and yeah but but already you're saying he he was told to watch a movie where you find someone that looks exactly like him that's already more interesting yeah that is that is a very interesting watch the film is from so so why not just tell us how you feel about it instead yeah i thought it's nice i thought it was nice the cool elite so to to add to my point about the spider the fact that chris starts his review off of like with uh that spider that fucking spider it's just so cringe so you're taking the lowest fucking thing that this film has to offer it was what a paragraph and this is your preface for the whole thing before he quoted the fucking shit about the business card in american cycle yeah come on i mean i mean even that opening is uh i think he's he's referencing the very end of the film like the very end seconds of the film i didn't want to say it but yeah and so and so to get to that point you have a whole fucking film chris before you even you even get to that point yes there is there is a major spider imagery all throughout the uh film from the from the uh reveal of uh you know the trencherler with the woman to the group of people at the beginning through to the the crashed car and the spider's web the spider web which was uh imagery which was made out of the destroyed glass so there is uh there is multiple images of of spider you know spider references of course you see the spider huge spider walking across the city obviously that is metaphorical as opposed to literal and so the the end has you know that that's that's you have to get i know you you're balancing between spoiler adult spoiler yeah i see what you're doing it's hard to bring up the spider thing without spoilers yeah i get you a massive character you know it's a huge character piece and it's a huge delve into who you are you know who we are uh are you know as as humans as as as people spiders as spiders is the force awakens oh you know what you weren't here as as soliders too late you've referenced it uh i'd like to quote a comment from chris one sec about because you brought up force awakens this this helps you as contextualize the kind of uh kind of caliber info this this is directly from his assessment of why you should see the force awakens so here we go everyone here has heard this except for you as get ready i love this film and honestly feel that in years to come and especially with future releases it will garner great respect that might be my favorite quote other than the it's so dumb how far off the mark could you possibly the writer he was wrong this is not much else to say about that one but i mean either that quote or the one where he says he had a serious thought i had a serious thought but after some but after some Tylenol it was okay oh anyway we got one paragraph left okay let's go enemy is part of a dying breed of films and Vilnuv is clearly content with this he actually had his cast sign an agreement to avoid discussing the meaning of the spiders that are ever present throughout the film his intense dedication to his projects especially enemy is remarkably refreshing in today's day and age of movies is a movie that begs its audience to lean closer wondering what exactly they just saw a film that utilizes every space of the frame to populate the screen with clues and information if that sounds intriguing to you then seek out this underrated gem just be prepared to take notes then watch it again and take more notes then maybe lay in the fetal position taking more notes oh there's not going to be as revolutionary of a spider movie until madame web release it will replace the spider film madame web will be the starting point of a wonderful uh never mind man that uh that was disappointed as well i guess i don't know what i expect from the stuck man sometimes stuck man of stuck i guess i'm glad it was enemy that made him go wait a minute you can think about films it's like yes yes chris yes you can't just you can think about films you don't have to just pretend to talk about them on the internet what the fuck what hey seven hundred and seven thousand people is them you guys want to hear what he has to say about casano royale i really want to hear what he has to say about casino royale so this is what the whole thing's gonna be it's just chris stuckman like yes we're not we're gonna have to do another episode with the intention of what we were supposed to do today this is just too funny i was gonna say this is a chris stuckman episode now it's it's been fun i've enjoyed this um i i hadn't read the book outside of the signs review but this has been filled with gold right today so yeah yeah it did arrive today uh very convenient uh sorry john we about to say something as well about the uh what's about enemy no all i wanted to say there was that i was luke warm on chris stuckman before but now i'm actually starting to dislike based on this discussion just because it's so it's so shallow so it's commentary you're saying you have that's all that's literally it i've been stuck but that's a problem i don't know if i think that's a bad thing i would say being stuck my eyes you've been stuck my eyes do the casino royale 2006 action adventure thriller director martin cambell starring daniel craig ava green mass mickelson studio eon productions the reinvention of a popular franchise a timeless classic or in this case a character has spread through hollywood like a disease why would you say that would you say disease okay i'm thoroughly convinced that we'll receive at least one friday the 13th incarnation every five years but hear me studio executives don't you dare touch jaws that's sacred ground what is happening what i have no idea am i on the wrong page yeah please why would you describe james bond as a disease like you need someone to be like uh chris people don't like diseases so leader three times majority of these reboots and remakes aren't made with care easily recognized as the blatant cash grabs they are and of course remember he said that this now well and remember he had nothing but praise for the force awakens i know that's not a strict reboot well no it is but he wouldn't say this anymore would he oh who knows this is too harsh oh yeah this is mean this is mean this is too mean he doesn't do mean anymore gratefully that wasn't the case with casino royale daniel craig the disease i think he meant that positively i think he doesn't understand what disease evokes like i don't like anything that spreads you know uh daniel craig's first outing as the iconic spy james bond nutella instead spreads like nutella on toast imagine his review of nutella it's nice i like it it's a bit surprising expectations but not really casino royale perfectly embodies and more importantly understands the term reboot less experienced filmmakers assume their reboot will be interesting simply because it contains beloved characters from previous films oh like fucking force awakens hello but casino royale does for bond what batman begins did for the caped crusader oh bond becomes a vulnerable human being not just a gun toting ladies man with a license to kill i mean just he's a vulnerable physically and emotionally wait he's vulnerable physically and emotionally okay that's fine it's not let's say the things that other people say about things well i was going to say i haven't heard any of this from uh no i've not not heard this before but that's fine it's not the first attempt at humanizing bond he got married in he got married in another film what did he put in another film no i he says on emergency secret service i'm just saying that that's a funny statement he was made human before because he got married in that other one he's like okay see humans get married what about when delo was murdered in license to kill oh i've never liked the idea because i i love casino royale as much as the next person but i don't like the idea that it's the first one that made him human it's like fuck off no well it is sort of an echo of what on your her majesty secret service did where bond got married and ended tragically well but there's many ways to explore him as a character that goes beyond another interest he's incarcerated and british government basically just leave him yeah um but it's the first time everything has truly clicked shawn connery's original achievement as the titular spy has had few real competitors until craig i don't know appears probably my favorite but all right a lot of fucking horse shit uh his bond is foolhardy naive and needlessly reckless yet he's also fully committed to his job in the past bond would allow his libido to jeopardize his assignments in casino royale bond is getting frisky with a gorgeous lady yet leaves the instant she tells him what he needs to know this is a cold calculating assassin and it's the closest we've gotten to ian fleming's original vision isn't a guy who continues who who keeps going with it and has sex with a beautiful woman even after he has the information that's more humanizing than the cold calculating assassin who once he has what he wants he leaves also don't buy that he's read any of you having a much easier way in one of the roger more films when he's sleeping with someone up on a ski lodge and then he gets a call and he gets up to leave and she says but james i need to and he says he wanted to ride the slopes and he says so does england he's on a slope and then has a union jack parachute like to what rags was saying the 2000s casino royale does one and the other like when he's like yeah tracking down the terrorists that like is trying to blow up the plane like he when he's uh interrogating his girlfriend all he wants is like the information and then he sort of leaves her but then when it comes to vesper he's actually interested in establishing a long-term relationship isn't that what the movie's about it's the the big split between how you know a lot of what your feelings would take you but a lot of where the job takes you sort of thing yeah good foundation for a james bond like character that's why again sorry he had to set up uh the the you know bond was company bond he was doing the things that she needed he needed to do get the information killed the people get his status and all that then he meets vesper he tries to play the same game with vesper you know says all the things that he believes he needs to say to him you know says that i'm not interested in you why because i'm smart this that and the other no because you're single you know he's trying to paint himself to here as as the uh as the sort of you know i'm the spy guy that comes in does this and fucks off lady but no he falls in love with her and that changes the uh the whole uh the whole kind of mission in places so um yeah it's that you needed to have the setup to get the payoff of falling in love yes oh yeah i'm saying yeah you need that contrast like have a woman where he's just trying to extract information out of her but then a particular woman comes along and it's like oh i've fallen for this one yes you know yeah it's called story penning um to continue simply from an action standpoint this is the best 007 by far director martin cambell's mastery of set pieces is evident with the visceral jaw dropping parkour sequence legitimately one of the greatest action scenes ever created oh jesus wow the film also contains brilliant work from ava green the best female character a bond film has had in decades with mass mickelson the best bond villain ever ever ever ever we're making some heavy statements here yeah he's um i mean this is the most bold he's been like in a while and it's like the most basic nerd statements where it's just like this was the best one mickelson's less chief is no cat stroking a caricature of evil he's just a person crippled by debt scared of his enemies i think that's why the film succeeds so well it understands the characters inhabiting the screen allowing their journey to propel the story instead of explosions and skimpy outfits remember though no serious thought would come from this film no it's not allowed that's no enemy it's no nothing is enemy right nothing at all it's just enemies it's on an island um well there you go that's a strong grasp of what it feels like to have chris duckman be your influential figure into the world of film yeah sure yeah i was gonna say pain but it's like well it's it's almost a lack of anything isn't it it's um so it's so empty it's just nothing happy meal it's a fault it's a whole book of this no a happy meal shuts up your kids this this i mean in all fairness uh some of the stuff that he said shuts us up well i might put us to sleep well the one about the serious thought thing that that had me i was like wow he said that that's that i guess done still kind of shocked that he said that it's um it's a weird book because again it's written as though you've seen the films most of the time and it's all films that most people have heard of if you even have a vague interest in films have probably seen as well this is a list of films that you should bucket list films right see before you die make sure you see them yeah so it's got to be uh presented from the point of view that you haven't seen these films yep yeah and he's meant to be convincing you why you should see these films but he's not he's doing the most bog-standard nothing of nothing's well i mean you know who's really seen lord of the rings i thought i said it wrong there because i'm just so unfamiliar with saying it lord of the ring no it's a lot of lot of ring lord of the ring yeah i think you would think like a bucket list list of films would be like films that you wouldn't normally see yeah all films that scenery is something where it's like yeah of course that's going to get mainstream marketing and whatever like of course i'm going to see that on tv and want to go to see it like sorry go ahead i agree with you i uh i think i feel this is the opportunity to highlight things that either have been heard of but mostly ignored which does you know sometimes does happen and then films that you've never heard of that's that those are the two things that probably should enter here films that even we would see them and be like oh yeah because that did that had like a 200 million budget but it only made like 50 and it was really good like that kind of movie might end up on here but there should be so yeah like the bucket list of best movies of all time and you've put you've thrown like i said i feel it feels weird to me that i recognized everyone here except one mm-hmm that's like that that list we were going over where force awakens was at the top of it was that the bucket list of his yeah yeah like yeah we don't need to know we don't need to be reminded come on how many people if you're interested in film have you even heard of star wars i don't know i don't know if you heard this little film called star wars the force awakens like get the fuck out of here dude that's kind of what i mean when we go to the the genres of like you know animated like what what what films are present here and it's like the Incredibles have you seen that as like come on it's like yeah but it's really good and it's like okay that's not the problem really it's not really the issue you got you can only put 50 on here and the films people should see before they die and you've included something like pirates the caribbean or the avengers it's like yeah okay yeah i mean if there was a few films on that list where it's just like i think that's more popular than you think it is but like whatever it's fine but like the force awakens like not that's not the only one there's a number of like return of the king was is on there as well yeah but only return of the king is a weird thing there's only return of the king yeah that is really bizarre why what was his thought process behind that why have just returned to the king on the list even though each movie is distinctly different and not have those included just especially if you say that you should watch the third in this trilogy of movies before you die yeah don't watch the other two no you return of the king is that yeah that's weird there was something that um that moeller pointed out earlier it's a film that's presented as these are films that you need to see that's written assuming that you probably seen most of them anyway yeah it's just what's the point yeah don't oh yeah with terrible descriptions it's so weird dude it is weird and going around to hospitals to find people on that the last legs of life he goes up to me says hey have you seen the force awakens you know what what do i need to say is that yes let me tell you nothing about this film you know this movie is going to be big what's this movie about imagine the last movie you see before you die is still is that one well so i haven't heard this well enough i should metal this but there with every page you get an illustration to associate with the film some of these are fucking dreadful i wouldn't mind you guessing some of them you're gonna guess this one i'll start with this one all right so here's number one this is for a film can you guess which one i mean yes it's casino royale but i was just like what the fuck is that like look at what an awkward bb8 looks like the why is it just it's just it's like you recognize all this right you're like yeah i guess so yeah but why why is the millennium bigger than the end no no no why is the death star in the force awakens why are they why are all these icons positioned the way they are i don't know it's so crappy like scrunched up for it's just a weird position i guess i don't know like you could have given a shit i suppose no speaking of giving a shit uh some of the oh so what do you what movie is this um i think ronnie and metal might have a chance on this one thanks for picking one that all of us might have had a chance at but it's not the point um oh that's carline that's correct that is carline oh yeah that makes sense actually yeah what a shit image for carline yeah so good wouldn't you do the image from the poster of her uh in the uh in the tunnel no you don't like with the door and that's the light cost into the that's just what the expect fringy exactly here's one all of you should get it's so great you see that you're like of course that's with the soldier that's what with the soldier is wait a minute how big is captain america's how big is the star in the shield isn't that big it's not to scale these images aren't to scale because kylo ren's helmet isn't actually as big as it is it's not bigger than the death star okay the star does fill the uh it's just that it shouldn't be that big the uh the lines are meant to be bigger on the outside and the uh the industry and also look at the the force awakens is just a bunch of star wars stuff crammed together and the rest is a single thing so i think i missed the context of these is this is is this like minimalist posts that are the accompanying minimalist images to help you what is what is this now there is no uh captain underpants that's rocky creed is correct which still i'm just like that's so lame okay now what is short here's his underwear here's his underwear you can buy those movies they'd be 300 dollars yes i'm confused why is the style inconsistent why does the star wars one have a distinctly different style than all of the other ones well yeah they are inconsistent because you know what this is boy story yes yeah that'd be toy story but uh man i wouldn't probably go with like buzz uh woody it's a silhouette of buzz or woody yeah again that's not same style as the one that's been i don't know it like it needs to you got to pick one and stick with it because having one that's just no outlines and then the other one that's throw me off you could just do whatever well no i'm okay with the images it's just that i mean i'm not okay with some of these like no no i mean i'm okay with the premise of having images before you talk about whatever it is you're talking about oh the accompaniment of images that's fine yeah but not the images themselves because the uh the star wars one in particular is so fucking half-assed like really that one's crap i was just like no good here's a bunch of star wars shaped things yay it's like a child's play set i don't i hate it what's the book cost uh that's a great question i will discover the answer to that while you continue talking about things oh yeah now i'm curious because it's by the sounds of it is relatively short but hey this it's paid for itself we're sure but like not everybody's got to monetize it so i'm curious about how much it it costs you okay where did anyone buy it oh yeah no dude it's it was it was selling out when i picked it up and it's got a sticker on it that says national best seller national wow probably all right 12 pound 65 is cost me jeez is that one a refund are you serious well that's sorry that's the price of the hardcover the paperback is four pound 14 damn it's three times the price for the hardcover versus the paperback okay is that normal for books normally the yeah normally the hardbacks are more expensive because i know they're more expensive but three times quite often no that's not typical he's about twice probably twice i would have been about way he preferred he did a top 50 to see of all time that's when it would get really funny yeah okay we need to i need to take more photos of some of these images they are fucking funny so you're gonna have to talk about something okay go pick them photos this oh this is what i can't wait to show you what go on then i can't i gotta take more i gotta do a ball okay i gotta find all the funny ones there's so many photos gotta catch them all double shit okay well you know i'll just prompt you as what do you think of chris duckman as a film reviewer oh i think it's an absolute fucking bellend that's kind i think no i've never liked the guy zero of you i've always i've always found him to be boring more more than anything boring fucking white bread milk toast i've never thought that the guy has has actually had anything really to say i've never thought that he's actually had any talent i can only imagine that his success has come from the fact that he is so nothing and and sometimes people gravitate towards that but yeah i i i got nothing positive about the guy sorry he's he's um uh he's got no he's got no nothing there is nothing about the guy yeah you're right he's just uh i mean like he's i'm thank goodness he's not like really talented at anything or else boy he'd be boring okay i'll i've grabbed three i consider this easy medium and hard in terms of guessing the film that that's the fun game we can make we'll go with easy first so what film is this wonderful artwork for the camera how did you know i like how it's clearly two different things that have been just attached to each other so awful why would you do that the bone and the ship are just clearly from two completely different things what's really throwing it off is that the ship is like incredibly detailed yeah and then you just put these goopy-ass clip-up skeleton man looks like scales in hand you can put on your call of duty emblem yeah yeah okay this might have been made with the call of duty image editor yeah you guys ready to crank up the difficulty here are you ready what is this for i already know i'm you're just qualified then yeah uh shawna the dead correct damn which i still think is a really shit image for that it's i wouldn't have guessed that that shawna the dead no i guess i got the zombie the tie i don't know why the is the hospital blood and then red or the i love story uh yeah but yeah this sucks why wouldn't you have it be like shawna with the cricket bat bring you you wait sir this is the last one of the night okay everybody which which film is this oh kassina royale incorrect uh i haven't seen that one i actually don't know the king's speech incorrect i'm looking forward to saying correct for this one uh the recent mcbeth was incorrect no oh fuck i'm i'm looking at the list in the way incorrect in ellipsoid wonderland nope nope these are films on the list these are yeah well they free is more fun if they don't remember whether or not they're on the list i can't remember okay well i'm trying i'm not gonna remember um our turn of the king correct oh my god but but it's not the crown it's not it's not the crown this is really a different crown easily by picked for the most embarrassing fucking image for return of the king are you kidding he's a clever means killer what are you talking about he nailed it my little shitty you fucking get this this is the crown you get and christmas crackers what are you doing if you were getting me to do lord of the rings i'd probably pick the ring exactly why the fuck is this shitty crown on the stock crown you see the thing is this is not even actually really clever because they're so vague and they could apply to pretty much anything they're exactly like his reviews so actually the minimalism stuff works christ stockman to reviewing films is this image to return of the king i hate it wow that's embarrassing so fucking i don't like this minimalist aesthetic overall most of it's fucking honestly i think you'd say you'd love it if it would done well yeah i'd know i've seen it sometime very very occasionally done well but like i can't even think of a good this off my head i think minimalist artists would see this to be like that's not minimalist that's just shit no offense to the artist to oh no offense offense should be given and actually uh you well yes the worst one i've seen was like blade runner where our guys running along the blade of a knife i'm just like that's so fucking on the nose yeah but it matches blade runner and a man running on a blade come on he's running along the plate you just you just not flew it in man yeah with blade runner you could always do something like like a dove because they're like oh a dove and they don't like oh yeah but they need to think like oh yeah that's why you'd use it or maybe um like the i mean you could just have like a silhouette of decade yeah the gun off oh he's gone he's gonna have like the little outlines of the flying cars you know or oh origami the origami unicorn that would be a modest amount of thought about the movie if it doesn't come across like that comes across as someone who hasn't seen the movie but knows the title because that's what that's what he does he blurb reds across the plate because none of the things that we mentioned were like you wouldn't know about that unless you had watched the film you'd have because that's not like the poster of it yeah um i just want to highlight a recent super chat that said oh wow i actually own a copy of this book that stuck with himself autographed met the man in a akron back in 2017 can't say i'm proud of it anymore now i feel bad because that was probably quite a precious memory keep it you need to make you need to get that put in a box and framed on the wall that's a that's an heirloom to pass into your children i want to just be jerry for a second like that is probably a precious memory you should cherish of meeting someone like that when you they mean so much to you i wouldn't want to take all of that away i just he's perpetually fucking fascinated me as a film reviewer um like we've already talked about how he was there when it started and so that's why he's where he is but like i've had plenty of people in my life that i've talked to you about film that even at their like most limited say more than this so it you would think that if you really had a passion as we say all the time with chris duckman if you really had a passion for any of this how have you done such an incredible job at making sure that none of it ever shows we've talked about it before but uh we don't often feel compelled to say that we love movies like here on this show because it's pretty obvious we don't feel compelled to say we love video games or television shows or just like media in general because there's really no reason to it should be apparent but like constantly being like oh yeah i love movies i love movies so much like movies are so great i love them so much it's like cool but like that should just be self-evident just by the way that you talk about in the same vein we've i don't think we've ever said oh man guys efab chat you should see this film because it made us think about it every movie every movie down to fucking tlj or the flash whatever you pick your poison they make us think yeah and man there's a thought-provoking film not in the ways it intended but definitely in many many many many many different ways that film was thought-provoking last film i saw was uh the cinema godzilla minus one i love thought-provoking that film i'm sure that to give an example right with the with the flash when they had him like fucking trying to put everything back to normal but then he didn't go and see who killed his mom we were like that was hugely thought-provoking it's like what is wrong with you what kind of person wouldn't do that when you've had the rules explained that going to see who did it won't destroy the future why don't you go check man go do it because it's the one thing would do because if they're well i mean the reason is because if they've done that in that film it would have been here by thorn and therefore it would have it would have created a whole new why wasn't this the fucking villain in the film oh barring meta reasons i'm i'm simply because this i'm trying to argue it's not a good thing that a film makes you think necessarily because it could be a bunch of bad thoughts like you know what i'm thinking if it makes you think at the very least it's better than if it does nothing at all because then it's just kind of you can't talk about yeah that's probably fair i don't but i that so this is the problem i'm encountering i don't know if i've ever discovered a film that's never made me think anything transformers rise of the beast's game close all right barring transformers rise of the beast well i i didn't think i originally i when i saw that i did think why the fuck did they make this movie i started scripting a review and i got to the point where like why are robots on different planets evolving to take the shape of earth animals and i ended up going on this long tangent about crabs and car civilization at the end of it i was like why am i even doing this oh it's more interesting than the film but at least i'm thinking about something that it did otherwise come very close to making me think nothing at all this movie really made me think you know it made me think wow what a piece of shit i can't believe i wasted my time with all that in mind it does actually make me make me think that chris doesn't really think about the films he watches he watches him goes yeah that was awesome oh yeah that wasn't so awesome yeah that was awesome and then this film he was like wait a minute i don't know what happened in that and now that i'm thinking about it some things make more sense but other things don't whoa i'm gonna think about it some more whoa the film has never done this before and i'm sort of sitting there like really no film but that you know like i said the more extreme answer to this question as far as i'm concerned is that all films do this even the shitty ones do it a lot of the time we talk about how a shitty film presents a premise that we would be like oh this could have been good though if you know if you put this there and this there and this there like tom cruz's ethan hunt versus an ai which is representative of the course of the whole series he has to learn to use all kinds of technology to win when that tech is turned on him and the you know the conclusion of the series of mission impossible that sounds amazing in terms of an enemy it's an impossible mission because now everything you're used to using to defeat the problem is the enemy it's like oh yeah yeah yeah so like so what do you think uh if there's so little that's going on in terms of watching the films what does sustain him in terms of continuing to do it rather than other things it's the idea of it all that's what sustains yeah why why do you think that the idea could even exist you know how like in the menu the uh the guy that um nicolas uh whole place that is yeah well um did we say that was high top maybe no that is that high top or is it well well but the thing is is that because what because what his deal was is that he could demonstrate like an immense amount of knowledge but couldn't channel it into anything meaningful at all um like in terms of creating things like you couldn't channel it into the craft is that either of those guys because part of the problem there is that we would say chris duckman i'm not even commenting on his ability to create film his ability to create criticism or review or analysis is completely shot well that's what i'm saying is that like at least nicolas halt's character could like yeah you're right reservation about the food yeah he knew well but someone could say isn't that the equivalent of knowing the director the writer and maybe what camera was used and stuff like that oh right because he might just be regurgitating things that he's heard other people say not understood on a craft level just on a literal level the fact that he couldn't even synthesize it into a dish that was like even okay whereas you imagine that if somebody was watching a bunch of people like watching a bunch of chefs and understood a lot of it that they could actually sit down and make something and it would turn out okay because there'd just be so much information that made its way in um obviously with challenges so if he was in the menu then who would he be or is he not even represented in that film i'd have to think about again who we're dealing with in total because there's the guys who are there for the money which isn't him there's the washed up star which isn't him there's uh obviously the main character isn't him nicolas halt is like a vague fit but not quite there's the people who come there for the prestige but don't actually care about any of it i don't think that's him uh which doesn't quite fit no by the way we we talked about the menu on e-fap uh i think it's worth seeing i think that was uh the beginning of the year actually yeah it was a while ago yeah yeah i like that we'll talk about you know what we'll do what this e-fap was supposed to be next week because you will be actually over there wrapping up yes our hopes for the new year and uh looking back on the year we just completed seems like it's a nice thematic sort of through line there nutty but um yeah you maybe you'd need another character one that is um it desperately wants the prestige but has no idea what's even happening or how to get there well i mean i guess he uh he's making a film right so there is not in terms of also unless it sounds mean but like that's why we have so little confidence in his ability to make film because which is an ironic twist on the usual format a lot of people say like critics won't be able to make film because that's a different creative sort of prowess skill set meanwhile we're saying his criticism is so pathetic and thin that i don't see how he has any hope of making a film i guess i'm not sure what the thought process would be to making you know how we we've talked about it right like what is the what's like the snider way of making films it's like well it's kind of what rebel moon was grabbing a bunch of things that he yeah liked having a general under like an awareness of beats that stories supposed to have but not really understanding why and then throwing them all together haphazardly while doing things that he thinks are cool to an excessive degree to the detriment of the broader film and then obviously day four and he's like yeah it's my toys i just get him here in my little play box and i bash him together and i imagine them having cool battles like that's his methodology what's the what's the stuckman one what is that gonna look like don't know and i guess we'll find out because we will be watching the shelby oaks of course yeah we saw notes from melanie um which he begrudgingly admitted he released because he couldn't find another way to release it which was annoying that was really weird like the i don't want to release it for free here on youtube all you to watch but i couldn't for the record drinker for that drinker wants to release his short film on youtube because he wants people to see it cool yeah yeah there's no like drinker didn't like he's like oh i can't get anyone to fund the release in a more official manner like in theaters like so i guess i'll just throw it out of youtube is like nope he just wants you guys to see it it's a celebration of how far his channel has come and i look forward to seeing it but um yeah the note that's recognizable here is like a sort of full circle is that uh christakman's journey to me comes across as he watches films loves them watches like directors talking about them he's like man that's what i want to be the kind of just i wish i was that yeah i wish i was uh like he's doing um he's got the spider man homecoming arc i want to be iron man just to be i really want to be on the set and i want the chair that's got director on the back of it and i want to say action and i want to see the thing the uh the thing come down and i want to have a table over there that's got food on it because movies are supposed to have catering and i want to yeah like that kind of stuff yeah um without understanding that all of it ultimately like stems from a fundamental drive to create above like all else through the tools that are available in that and this is just illustrating so many ways like for example the um we shouldn't really value what critics do in any way close to what creatives do which is such a distinctively obvious sort of mindset creating criticism isn't creative no and and he said like what we do takes a half hour he believes that though that was what we yeah it's what we discovered however many years or year ago i can't remember how long it was but he he was very specific in the creators can take the filmmakers can take as much as a whole year of doing this stuff while we take a half hour to record and upload our thoughts it's like excuse you it's like you take a half hour to record your thoughts and upload it some people spend months or even years working on a big analysis filled with creative editing visuals animations obviously presentation funny jokes i wouldn't be surprised that blue is fucking mined to know just to take an example not for any other reason that but like if me and fring explain to him all the stuff that had to happen to make a quantamania happen and go go to be fair yeah that was uh that was an exhaustive days and days and days and weeks of work instead of him presenting any kind of disagreement or pushback to the notion of like six hours to say you didn't like a movie like that's much more likely where you would settle i don't i think it would take a lot from him to be like oh wow that's really impressive instead he'd be more inclined to be like guys why don't you put that into something creative yeah why do you why don't you put that into something that isn't a waste of your life yeah and i think he'd be fucking shallow enough to be like i'm not being mean i'm just giving you advice i'm just saying you're wasting your life yeah not like me making this why don't you put that into making a movie something creative yeah something that inspires and makes people happy because it's not possible it's not possible that anything that you could create on youtube could do that yeah just make shallow vapid reviews and then make a movie with the creative stuff you idiots also there's no possible way to be creative this is the thing right my line of work i think that this has kind of been highlighted about all the things have been said today but if all seven of us were uh i don't know why i'm saying that gun to our head we have to write a book called the 50 movies of the 2000s to see before you die and it has to be genuine it can't be like faked or rushed you have to really put everything otherwise your whole family's gonna get killed i'd be like okay but you know as much time as you need there's no i'd be like okay and we probably have to fucking plan this all out look at all the movies that came out and then really think and they tell us you get four paragraphs per film like oh i'm just fucking kill me well just kill me yeah we can do it no we can do it it's tight paragraphs yeah it's gonna be tough and i'd be curious to i might even tear them in terms of obscurity because it'd be interesting to do that right like like five tears first ten like these are the ones you probably have seen but even then and you know i say this i might have like a a forward by someone that explains you know the point of the book a bit better than like basically i'm not going to include fucking pirates the carabin or i was about to say the force awakens like well i'm not going to include that anyway but like it's return to the king spider-man two the incredibles none of them are going to be on the list uh and i think it would be essential to have like requirements for making sure that you see a bunch of foreign films as well yeah make sure that you find films from japan korea i'm basically saying non-english language films basically like even yeah german french films well you know like every interesting film that came out in the decades gonna come from america or where was a good bye lenin you know where was good bye lenin on that list where was uh perfect blue it was funny like that prestige didn't make it to the list but that's okay yeah oh yeah yeah oh shit your eye didn't well and that's the thing though i would put prestige on tier one and be like well the reason it's here isn't just that i you know i'm talking about it as a more known movie but i had to include that one because it's like my yeah the essentials yeah and that would be included in the paragraph oh yeah no hot fuzz well shawna the dead i like he does mention that i think i read the shawna the dead when he says like the the corner of trilogy are great but shawna the dead is the best one he says um that's okay that's okay i think that's a fair choice a really good movie that i think oh i can i can easily accept that if someone said world's end i'd be surprised uh now would be surprising that's the keyword because i would be surprised but the same time i love that movie yeah it's great it's great um it's underrated uh i think the best though i think hot fuzz and that was the last film edgar right made uh maybe driver was entertaining all right and had some cool action scenes so well the less we talk about last night on so so ho with the better uh oh fuck um we don't need to talk about that movie off as is indeed the best correct that's okay though it's fine it's fine uh i said i guess on my list i i'm sorry i would be tempted to put a bunch of mainstream shit on my list but i would probably designate designate that to like an honorable mentions thing where it's just like here's a bunch of main ship that i that i really liked but i don't want to put it in the main list because we've all seen this shit oh you could say like you know what the fuck is wrong with you if you haven't seen these yeah it's like but if i don't mention them at all you might think like have you not seen that it's like yeah of course i have but like i'm just setting that aside and saying yes i have seen this we've all seen this but here's in my list here's a bunch of shit that you might have not seen like the chances are like you know maybe you overlook this so well the marvels see and then a lot of people haven't seen that that's true to make a top 50 movies avoid like the plague list yeah that's just a list if you want to remind yourself how bad movies can be you're gonna even bother i after quanta media i fucking checked out well yeah i was gonna say you think to put like we put the marvels on they were put in quanta mania only put in love and thunder on they were put in emma and it's like just put the mcu it's i'm sorry yeah do you think any of those directors to come in back do you think any of them are coming back paint and read remember taika was only there for the paycheck anyway so they might yeah yeah well cause uh sam ramy is maybe right he's a baby i think we can guarantee we'll see another ramy mcu movie i just don't know which one it'll be because apparently he has to choose between an mom sequel and the avengers which i mean at that point you may as well just choose avengers right it's more high profile it's more high profile but you've saddled with the scripts by michael waldron well he was the first time around and apparently that was just wonderful so um yeah i suppose so that's crazy i mean i was mentioning the other day but like isn't it wild that like i'm pretty sure the showrunner for fallout the like the amazon fallout wrote captain marvel and like the tomb raider movie and that's it i was like oh here you go showrun a fallout show and then of course with michael waldron it's like oh what you wrote like one episode of rick and morty and you were like you you were like a script editor on on on community here you go a whole television show and then a whole movie i don't get it i don't understand how you can have such limited experience and then get handed such massive projects the new avengers film as well yeah exactly like it's not that it's impossible that somebody could be handed a massive project like that and make something really good but i don't understand how you can be handed a massive project not do a very good job and then like get more shit i'll understand how that works oh dude i still can't believe that like watching those interviews of the guy who wrote multiverse of madness and i think he wrote quantimania and i think he's the same guy who's lined up to write kang dynasty and oh no he's out now he's uh he's out he's not doing kang yeah now michael waldron's right in both well to set the foundation there is michael waldron wrote mom jeff lovinus wrote quantimania mom made a good amount of money quantimania did not lovinus is out waldron is in for avengers but mom only made the money because a spied man yeah not only that but like that was you can genuinely in the timeline pin point the mom is basically the tail end of superhero movies being cool okay what if um what if mom came out today i think like 300 400 million tops tops yeah yeah absolutely dude they've all failed this year except for like two of them and guardians are very special like out of the fucking it's an anomaly that's easily not only has it been so bad it's well not it's been so bad that i wonder if dc's having conversations right now is this even like a good idea to try and like do this reboot again like is it even worth it to take like these massive chances on a lot of these ones they're not going to at least get a writer who gives a fuck i mean i'm listening to that guy who is doing the interviews and it's just like you it sounds like you don't even care like you just like a job isn't it yeah it's just a oh i was trying to write this and i didn't know how to do this scene but i don't know i figured i threw something something together and it's just like how the fuck did you get this job like is this the best that marvel could do really they couldn't find anybody else who had like a smidgen of more enthusiasm to do this thing like you're the best you you're the decision that they made like we want you to handle the fucking avengers movies i mean i know they have a new guy now but it's just like like the fact that they even got that guy to do multiple multiverse of madness in the first place it's just like come on dude get somebody who cares it sounds like you don't even care that this problem seems to exist and then like whenever something comes along that ends up being great and you look it's like oh wow like somehow you managed to get writers like angles got writers it's got writers who have a back catalog of work of good work that actually get brought together into a team to make something good meanwhile it's like oh yeah go day floaty and john favor here like the tag team coming in with the amazing you had a sniff of the rick and morty script yeah i have the 250 million dollars go ahead fully convinced at this point that if ever they're credited as part of a rick and morty film that is strong rick and morty episode the strong that it was done by man it wasn't there i i can't i can't fathom that the man who wrote the vat of acid episode could write quantamania no that doesn't make any sense to me doesn't yeah doesn't does not just funny in any way chef because like alternatively the person who wrote pickle rick was in charge of she-hulk i'm sure some people say like didn't you say that you know isn't it hard to contextualize prometheus an alien or written by the or rather directed by the same guy and it's like somehow vat of acid and mom seem more contradictory to me it just yes they do i will vat of acid and remember michael waldron wrote the toilet one which uh even when it came out that was one where yeah we weren't sure about but uh vat of acid i feel like i could show anyone here and in the spheres of influence that i have and i think they'd be either the the floor of it would be like yeah that was funny but it could go all the way up to like holy shit that was really good vat of acid is so good um was vat of acid a movie or an episode of something pickle rick is better than uh it was an episode of rick and morty it was the only one that had gone emmy so uh that means jeff lovin this is an emmy award-winning writer oh wow okay what season was that seven four four oh i don't know we don't know anything about after season five exactly that's when we fell off i thought they were on season seven maybe yeah they are they are for the record i don't know if you were about to say this for me but like uh the memes and the culture around pickle rick has damaged its ability to be praised as an episode for its writing it's much better than just him saying i'm a pickle there's a lot more going on in that episode pickle rick is better than she-hulk you can't they're not they're not the same why would he would say it's like level that well it's just because that was the writer of that one oh wait no that that also that also won the emmy didn't it i assume it did i don't know i think pickle oh so yeah emmy award-winning i don't i don't like the pickle rick gag being used as evidence of like shallow writing or whatever i mean i think it's a funny gag it's just like that the grandpa is just so like he just needs to occupy his life with something that he needs to like do he cut it with something like that yeah i i like that joke you know it's a good joke it's funny it's just a blade runner and alien with masterpieces while prometheus and covenant a disastrous pickle rick and vasat acid are not masterpieces yes but the key information you've missed there is mo m is the worst fucking script to exist in film exactly as far as we're concerned it has it is staggering as much as i dislike prometheus and covenant neither of them even put together can scratch the depths of depravity that mo m reaches what a fucked up film is what phase four is and it taught us new new ways of of being the worst thing ever made like that's what happened it was all of these different ways of testing the boundaries for how how incompetently written a story could be before it didn't even constitute one like definitionally it yeah that's the film that said hey you guys want to see read richards and you guys have expressed again and again that you'd like to see uh krasinski as read richards here he is now he's fucking dead he's like okay thanks i guess i was like hey you remember that show that some of you liked either you don't even know what it's referencing or you liked it so the people who liked it and recognize blackbolt hear it dead from being a retard you're like oh okay surely off to introducing incursions to the world a mechanic that broke the multiverse before it even began hey just broke it you guys recovering from seeing professor x get fucking murked by evil logan in logan he's back he's making his first appearance ever again is dead wander killed him in the fucking mind combat the one place where she should not be killing him i hate that movie so much it's so very bad i was uh during christmas i had so we had family over and i was talking with my cousin about movies briefly and uh multiverse of madness brought uh was brought up and i'd said how much i hate it and how shit it is and he said oh i remember going to see uh to see that at the theater and i don't really remember what happened though it's all just kind of an alert to me so it just reminded me as well fucking captain kata i could do this all day dies immediately yeah well done at least captain america says i could do this all day in time with marvel let's just statue fall on her and does nothing to prevent itself from she put her arms yeah but it's statue kills her you know can capture marvel has a statue followers she dies wander absorbed all the because that's something she can do do we know what she actually can do because i don't know i don't care anymore i don't care i don't want to see that character again i'm and yet we probably will of course we will yeah well then again who knows how long is the mc we're gonna last in this current state and i can't keep losing money forever like that's not that's not tenable i can't wait otherwise you turn it bc well you just abruptly end defroser robot chasted in what if they have peggy say no i don't think i will you fucking kidding me man i look forward to never watching don't really like that watch it but i just find it so funny how they keep forcing her to be second fiddle they don't let it be your own thing at all not that any of us are itching for the fucking peggy kata captain kata spin off but at least you should try and make your own two seasons television right i know it's it's just trying to make her a thing and then being like well she says the things that the other guy you like says so therefore you like her right fucking hell so i think uh are we talking about the what if scenario where peggy becomes captain america yeah okay yeah i didn't i didn't see that what if episode i wasn't sure if we were talking about that or captain marvel not a lot of people did in all fairness i'm already like guaranteed for a third season oh jesus it's the lowest uh it's the lowest is it the lowest marvel product on disney plus and yet it gets oh i thought you got to say it's the lowest like place they can grab creativity from i was going to counter with um once they cross franchises once we get doth vader in marvel that's when they're the lowest hey i think i think if uh if uh if black panther was star lord oh yeah was so amazing that he talked thanos out of being a bad guy because black well yeah because tony can't do it doctor strange can't do it uh but obviously if black panther was star lord he'd easily convince thanos to to come down don't do that thanos oh that's a compelling that's a compelling christ stockman argument yes uh don't do it in the front of this story is what i think one of the most recent series of what if stories is what if happy hogan saved christmas yeah that is actually was it in danger apparently it was in danger yeah oh my goodness thank god the happy hogan is in danger of his motherfucking disney marvel products coming out i have a um i have an idea for what if what if we address the massive fucking giant sticking out of the planet earth i mean people keep referencing that but that's that's far down the list of things we need to address how about we address are there an avengers team hello what if we address this black building appeared in this guy and uh judged mankind what about that is there avenger hello is there a team is there even a singular is anyone in control does sword have any control ready of this what's going on i just pulled up the good old wikipedia and this is just a sentence that's in here for season two the first episode of this season what if nebula joined the nova corps hi yeah the question we were all asking is it the tech he was being up at night fringy in the wise genre such as blade runner exploring him nebula joined the nova corps to prove her detective skills while trying to escape that osu! shadow after ronin the accuser deposed him before the events of infinity war oh my god i love the comparison to but it's like ah yes it's like but dude michelle fife is unforgiven that yes that's what everyone who saw quantamania was immediately thinking this is unforgiven this is like this is the life of the career everything was leading to this moment if if you told me that i had to connect those movies in some way and then gave me a week to do it and all the resources i i'd struggle i'd assume that you misspoke oh you mean for given the movie forgiven what was the other one what was the one in our oh that wasn't at the low key season two that compared it to uh breaking bad oh enough breaking bad makes made sense though where did they acknowledge breaking bad as a show in low key season two no just the creators were like saying that that's which they did before they've done that with joker a million times like this is this is kind of like joker you guys like joker this is going to be like joker in terms of i can't remember which film it was but it was referenced like logan and joker with a i don't even think it was r rated but it's just this tired shit where i don't even like it when people say like oh this is kind of like if Jurassic park met the matrix or something you're just like can you just shut up it's a bit tacky isn't it it always comes across that way yeah where you're like well you like this movie it's like that meets that but it just seems really reductive and and kind of silly but especially comparing your story to unforgiven it's like all right chill the fuck out like calm down you know um i was going to say on that no i am i am running out of the steam so uh i feel like we've nailed what this efap became which is a analysis of chris stuckman not what i expected to become but uh no but we i like my only joy in life i feel like i feel like this couldn't have been done with almost anyone else but we've been through his opinions on about what like 30 films or something ridiculous yeah chris is he's kind of he's like a a different milder flavor of movie bob where he's just sort of fascinating i don't think i connect that movie bob is uh a mile a minute saying radical insane things and has takes you've never heard of he's like the opposite of chris yeah i yeah i guess so yeah maybe i was thinking hmm what's the link i'm creating where chris stuckman is at the same time yeah they're both terrible but i think what does chris stuckman remind me of it's just this bland it he's simultaneously somehow very bland and very interesting um almost like the blandness is the interesting element of it considering his background his history on youtube the way that he sees himself in his craft it's really something else it is well that's what do you find uh interesting i don't mean to sound like an asshole i'm just i'm asking like like what uh did you say something that was like oh that's actually a good point like well he i don't think he's capable of being insightful which some people just stumble upon through sheer you know just the mathematics of language you say enough words and you have enough thoughts one of them cover every movie in existence every year as i mentioned earlier like i said i've spoken to many people looking my entire life about movies and i don't know that i've ever encountered the average person say so little as he does consistently and of course the highlight of is that this is his job this is what he has insight into yeah this is his profession soul and so one could argue and i assume that's where i'm just going with this that's interesting how little insight he has is fascinating to the point where we if we had a conversation with him about one of his favorite films i wonder how much of it he would actually be aware of like if take for example if his favorite film was uh fellowship of the ring i wonder if he'd be aware of like baramir's journey at all i don't know there is a when linguine he goes to work at the restaurant he knows nothing about food and cooking right but he learns right he picks up things over time he has someone teach him things he has a willingness to to to grow and to add things to his list of skills but or like if you had to if you had to fake something right if you had to fake being a being anything in any industry like you're infiltrating right you're a hit man or an assassin or or you're faking it like surely you just pick up things you'd absorb information from the fields you're in from the people around you but he's somehow immune to that is the question then is chris stuckman capable of acquiring knowledge that's what i'm kind of getting at like how are you so incapable of like just soaking up information and becoming naturally better at things that you devote a lot of time to that is almost like its own skill like you're that cut off from just the acquisition of knowledge from soaking up the things around you it's legitimately weird yeah right i agree like if i was in his position i would want to go more in depth with like reviews and commentary or whatever but he just he doesn't seem to even have the desire to that that pisses me off more than anything i think maybe it's a maybe he's never got any or felt any pressure to learn or maybe it's just a simple element of he thinks what he's doing really really isn't what he's doing really is like good like he thinks he legitimately believes that he's good you know he's doing a good job this is enough what i'm saying like and it's like no no it isn't dude it's the best image in the world this is the bare minimum that's the thumbnail that's the thumbnail this is what it's fine i will make fun of the thumbnail does not capture the the stream at all now that's a great inside joke but i feel like a lot of people are going to be like what the fuck is that on his head yeah that's the mystery that's the mystery box of this episode you can discover the answer by watching if you go into the fetal position and start to write notes maybe you'll figure it out okay let us the first stuckman the man the myth the legend let us have our guests talk about what they've got coming up we'll start with the wonderful the little platoon that sounded not clunky at all you go ahead nothing i think is the answer finally nothing for the first time in about two years i have nothing that i'm working on so that's that's nice when that video at some point but otherwise the five and a half hour marvel's video will be the last thing i do this year my god and that's available right now it is available right now everyone go go go get on that hey good to good to hear you taking a bit of a break is it yeah for about two weeks at most i'm supposed to be doing that right now with metal um but i've been sneaking in working when he's asleep i can't edit i'm editing into mine yeah i said my message would be like you're not awake yet right with a little smiley face he's like i'm downstairs they're like oh fuck i'll come back out um very well stop working moller how dare you exciting and the little platoon on youtube go check it out because the links are a bit confusing with i didn't know who exactly would be coming in and who wouldn't be today but that's all right john cjg what are you doing well see what are you up to what's happening christmas oh yeah i mean i spent christmas with my mom just watching movies and tv shows it was funny i made a little christmas short for my youtube channel right now i'm working on uh i did an old machinima series called hard justice which is really cringe but i'm rebooting it in hopefully which will be something that's unjust this is funny respectable thank you thank you very much i really appreciate that i do i just i can't look at that back on that personally like i enjoy it but like i'm trying to like take those characters and that premise and make something actually really cool and compelling so like i'm i'm writing a thing i'm cooking something and i'm gonna make like a whole like season of of content that's what i'm working on right now it's not out yet but i'm working on i'm hoping i can get maybe the first out first episode out by february but oh cool yeah that's what i'm working out that's what i'm working on right now john graham on youtube if you want to subscribe to me i do are being the chief i don't know how many times i have to say that but that's that's my thing that's what people know me for so yeah it's really good oh yeah thank you uh as what are you up to what things have you said a good or bad in the world of media somehow months later i've managed to trigger twitter again about uh starfield that for you is our gen nicholson thing it's the it's the that fucking i was about to say sort of down with these no it's more of a what do you say it's a suffician but you don't have to do anything so i don't know if it counts but the point being is that it'll now forever be this reoccurring thing as mel was showing me um we still have viral tweets about fucking jenny nichols and still to this day people but um on the highlights channel wolf uploaded the you know the stream without jenny which which uh someone had done before but with the wolf one it's very easily screenshot-able and linkable which is kind of funny because it's like seven hours when it's not here which compared to the you know that's funny but um yeah it sounds like that one's yours where it's just going to pop up again and again and again and it obviously you could just keep pulling that card of like man i thought you said it didn't matter yeah that's all i have to do it's all i have to do and every time i post that it gets them even more mad it's great it's just that's all i have to say now um i got uh after this is probably glad that starfield makes the most as you're generating the engagement okay look i'm i'm the most interesting thing about starfield and that's really upsetting isn't it as you see those posts right people like what happened to starfield is like oh no all the reviews are negative it's boring um i've got afternoon tea with us tomorrow doing a super chat square up of the real bbc but you're as lavalin and of course because yeah yeah yeah and it's because it's uh it's um new year's eve tomorrow then we should have sunday fun day in the evening and then i will actually be doing a stream taking the uh new zealand i guess through to uh 2024 so it's going to be a very very busy day tomorrow yes serious serious question i keep getting asked by people to ask you okay will you fight slave night gale in ds3 is that going to happen yes okay oh he's a fucking good fight i'm just saying yeah very good very good but what he's going to leave ds3 without doing no i uh i uh i will return nice oh return of the king oh get that little paper crown get the happy meal crown do it beautiful uh the metal what are you up to your lad i'm currently right below you that's what she said oh my god why'd you tell him don't tell him actually i'm on my vacation right now i don't do sneaky editing here i'm just sleeping and drinking a lot which i'm enjoying what we can let people know is that we will be doing gaming and drinking streams will happen soon yes um we didn't talk about it today but maybe we will on another stream but we've been up to some fun antics we've been throwing axes watching films playing games drinking it's been a whale of a time but we shall hell yeah one of the plans is to play simpson sit and run and take shots whenever we die or whatever so yeah another one of those aren't they make all crazy taxi is crazy taxi coming back or they should make another sense yeah yeah the game awards they announced a slew of 3d games based on the sega's old like franchises shinobi crazy taxi there's got to be some good in there that would be nice yeah um i'm not really doing anything right now but when i'm back home and my vacation is over i'll be i'll be i'll be going back to the mines myself forges are coming back more gaming streams i think next game we're going to stream is probably going to be robocop finally because i was been gifted to me by james it was very nice he gave that to me for crimbo so that's going to be the next game we're going to stream and yeah forges are going to be coming back i already started making the list what's coming up over the year so yeah i'm i'm cooking soon not right now i'm just drunk bring it rungo what up what happened in the world of you guys oh i don't want to make any promises or anything yet but who knows what'll happen i'm just working you know how it goes just working just working away all right well and as for me what i was editing is that uh i got i was about to say this is bad news it's news it's bad news somewhat the uh the lord the rings you've had movies did indeed get hit and it's completely demonetized which was the thing i was desperately trying to avoid so that the extensive work that was done could at least be given that level of compensation but at the same time you know uh drinker had suggested uh to me and it's something i've been trying to set up splitting the whole thing up into topics right i think i've talked about this on my one of my god of war streams but the idea will be that you go through and collect all the clips where we talk about ian mckellan as gandalf and gandalf as a character or sean beans performance and baramir as a character you collect them up and put them into their own videos they could be anywhere from 10 minutes to 40 minutes and they're all split into topics so like the production or the world building or something like that and you know release them all as individual videos so that they could be monetized only just with with simple ads right that's just it just helps churn the channel so that we can have reason to build things that don't cost the channel from being up in the first place so that's something to uh that i'm working on just trying to it takes a lot longer than i thought it would have i should have anticipated it but it's okay that's what i'm entooling away at it's basically just sorting it all out and crushing it all together but something i was considering and i'm 50 50 on it was uh recording the premiere chat and then incorporating that whenever the template for e-fap is available in the e-fap movies so the chat is in there if you know what i mean from the previous one and re-uploading with again a slightly harsher copyright or we just leave it as it is demonetized that those would be the two options i have and uh i was gonna ask for uh people's input even chat's input what do you think um pick up chat oh i thought we were waiting for chat but it's chat and you guys so i am i think that's a really good idea i think that uh i like it you know when we discussed it it seemed like a neat idea and i approve of it this editing in live chat sounds like it might actually be like a decent amount of work it will be that'll take me at least three days mirror in mind yeah it it makes me wonder how the fuck youtube's copyright detection system works great thought to have because i've been doing this for six years and i still don't fucking know what the hell's going on if drinker is recommending that you split the video up as if that alone would fix the issue i wonder if that like youtube is operating in such a way that it's sort of accumulating um all this sort of copyrighted copyright detected material like over a span of time where it's just like if it exceeds x amount of seconds over the total duration of the video then it's like here's a claim fuck you what if you were to like someone i've discovered it is actually wacky but like one of the best representations of it is fringy did the editing correct me from wrong for all of mando season three yeah yeah all season three the way it works is fringy will do is uh copyright coverage then i'll proof them and i'll cover anything that i think is like oh that's risky i might put something in that all of them are cleared by me and they all go up they're all still monetized or you know demonetized for swearing which the yellow one a lot of people say that's the same as not monetization at all but it's you know a tier above that i i guess at least in fucking claims but uh i put them all together because what we usually do is have the big supercut so that people can watch it all in one big video if they want to i couldn't do it with the mando i put it up and it's it had a copyright claim for every episode so a rare fucking like eight or seven however many episodes there were claims i was like what the fuck like there's no claims on the individuals and so i cover them all up i'm like okay re-upload and another seven to eight claims come up and it's like what the fuck is going on and so the only conclusion i have and this applies to the lord the rings video because i uploaded individual hours as did the editors uh somewhat that were working on them and then i uploaded individual films being fellowship two towers returning the king and um i was at the point where fellowship and two towers were clear returning the king was still being worked on but we were rushing i explained this in the other refab we had put up together fellowship and two towers were getting claims it's like but they weren't on their own which were two hour and 40 minute videos i had that same problem because i was doing mando three as well and the second part of that was that video was four and a half hours long i think it was in parts it didn't get anything in total it got a claim every time i tried it but i just thought fuck it i'm just gonna appeal it and go straight to like the top appeal and no one ever really checks those things so it always goes through so i just went straight for yeah fuck you well it's fair use yeah it's the wackiest fucking shit to get used to because there is no guidebook on this nobody ever says like by the way if you're making a 10 minute video you can have clips as long as seven seconds or whatever however it's dependent on the people who published it or whatever bots are running but nobody ever told me that if you're making a video over an hour it's the mid-level bots and if you make over a video over three hours then you get the harsh bots to the point now where it's so fucking ptsd adducing that like the recommendation i have for my editors now on any of these videos is never go above four seconds ever and i i know that some people could be like oh come on it's like no i know i know but don't the uh for anyone who's curious i did a rough fucking run through of the trilogy after the golem incident which i can still we'll show you that eventually if you really want to see it nothing special it's just golem footage for three minutes but after that happened as uh fringing rags and mel know very well i painstakingly went through with a measurement chart thing in vegas to make sure no clip went over 4.2 seconds i considered that the absolute maximum what got hit and you can still see this because the video's still there in uh in helms deep when rag says it's really neat that when the volleys are firing that there is a spritz of water that it really feels like all the rain is actually affecting everything you see the clip that lasts about two seconds of legolas and others doing it and all the orcs getting hit and then i repeat the visual for about two seconds in slow emotion while he's saying that that selection what i just described got hit with copyright that's so fucked up i don't it's so fucked up it's so dumb once you get to a certain size on youtube youtube needs you need to be able to send something to youtube that says look i'm an established movie reviewer and i use movie footage in my movie reviews i need to have some level of protection against this ridiculous system it should be fucking transparent like what are they have to lose that would be great you know this is why i was tagged this is the reason why or you just need to say there are there are these flat rules or something but it's ridiculous how it's been going on for this long and you can take all of these steps and it still gets hit and then there is from studio to studio as well which is like it's impossible to know which studio is going to have the top level of the algorithmic check applied to it the ones that i will use insane yeah like longer videos for other properties will be fine using longer clips peter pan was the worst one i think i've ever had a problem with and that was all the the original cartoon version and it got to the point because i was trimming it down it's like seven second clip okay fine five second clip oh fuck sake okay fine i'll get rid of all of those two second clips and at that point it was like i think the way they're doing it is percentage of total content used over the entire video and any clip beyond that certain percentage will then be flagged even if it's one second long because that was certainly the experience i have with that video but again at that point i just went you fuck it this is impossible to make this video so again appeal and go right to the top straight away and it risks the strike but the strike never comes because i don't think anyone actually checks within the seven days they just look like has someone actually filled out the form yeah okay it's probably right then we'll just pass that over and regardless of clips used in videos when it actually comes down to the film itself i am a big believer that any company that puts out promotional marketing material in the form of video that should be not subject in any way to copyright because that is marketing right i agree and that's why a lot of people just that's what it should that's what should be brought in if you're putting that out as your promotion as your marketing anybody should feel free to use that in whatever context they want because it's about advertising the product yeah so that's the paid but you guys could expect a set of fun sort of snippeted videos of different discussions we had on that recording and all of them should be pretty straightforward to monetize because i assume being shorter means that the fucking bots will be more chill with them and once all of them come out i will then try according it seems like most people unanimously agree to be cool to re upload it with the chat integrated so you know give me two weeks probably to get all of that done and it'll go back up again finally enough people don't even remember this that well but the return of the king first one that me rags and wolf did that is a re upload uh because the first one got struck down that was before well before i was more acquainted with how fucking awful the copyright is and um yeah i mean in future all the editors are basically just going to be told four seconds never more even the ones that thing like no no no i've got always just no never more than four never more i did cheat with the marvel's video because there were just cats dancing around the screen for most of the long clips in that video and it uses it but they're flurkins in the mcu these days so that's still like thematically on point oh if if theoretically i had a long video in the works that was covering a piece of media theoretically of course is all purely it's not actually happening this is all this is all alleged but i would just be like you know what eight nine ten second clips fucking sue me do it um but you know who knows who knows what will also part of the problem because we've suggested that is that we don't actually know what the definitive ruling on a lot of what we do on efap would actually be uh i believe ethically speaking we are a billion percent in the clear but like in an actual if we actually went to court which by the way would be a fucking nightmare because you wouldn't get like efap content at all for a whole two years or however ridiculous it would be um you know it you don't actually know exactly where it will lie when push comes to shove which is part of our criticism of people like xqc or whoever who are really fucking pissing off the the people who we don't want anywhere near all of this because they might make it so much so much worse yeah um we could be in the golden age of copyright for all we know that's kind of the way we're putting it yeah especially for gaming the fact that i can use a whole game everything about it like i can upload that's like that's like that's an industry that i find amazing like you can upload as i did a super cut of the story in a game that's mainly story and monetize it in that in that nuts like that's just something you can do and i feel like uh the more time goes on gaming ost yeah you can upload the fucking album for a game and make money for me yep because it's a game so it's a game ost so all those insane bangers in the games and stuff put it out there it's whatever it's a game soundtrack so it's it's it's clear yeah what i'm saying is um but woe to ye who plays fallout on a stream and wanders near a radio where copyrighted real music plays woe to ye who does that that stream belongs to me now the ghost of i realize i can't believe i didn't mention this already but uh das bullshit was the one exclusively who edited the home alone two eva movies here sweat and blood went into a lot of that he got it done right on the dot that's it was you know it had to be moved to the next day because it wasn't quite fast enough but um the man was dying making that and i appreciate every last piece of work he did for it and he said to me like has it passed copyright and i was like yep yep yep wait a minute and it didn't and i was like oh well that's okay i mean he really tried hard he did it fast you must have missed something and uh i hadn't really fully looked at it i took a screenshot out of it because he had asked for it and i posted it to him which i'm posting in our group now and then i was like wait a minute like i i i deliberately play everything pretty quietly when recording them and it's like a song das knows really well to avoid songs getting uh clipped this is won't tell your boyfriend song by rubin stunner and i checked it it's not present in home alone two nor any memes it is a song that has nothing to do with anything to do with home alone two i also had the same problem with the marvel's video there's a bit of it's in a copyright claim at the moment i thought just okay i'm just gonna put it up anyway because it's music related the bit where where tony stark flicks his glove when he has the glove on flicks his fingers there's rumbling sound in the background and some random band i've never heard of apparently claimed that as part of a song that they made like but it's not that i don't even know who you are and it's not in the video so i think you might have made a mistake there this one's bad but it gets even worse we've talked about before but i was just gonna say so this is currently happening on the home alone video which is now in escrow i swear to fucking god if they push back when their song isn't even in here it's absolutely absurd but uh the worst version and this has happened on my last time i remember well sorry the first time i remember dealing with this was the god of war 2018 play through my first one where it was like uh copyright footage has been found and i was like that's odd uh but maybe it's you know like a you know like bloods on the stone is that what it's called blood in the stone blood on the stone a lot of nonsense no um that song i think can get hit with copyright but none of the other ones because it's much more of an official thing and i was like oh it may be something like that where a song a part of the soundtrack is actually getting it like checked it it was like no it is another let's player who is uh monetizing his own content and it matches enough of the video game's cut scene that he has now claimed that is his that is now claiming money all the way through and i was like fucking hell that's like that's like parasites eating parasites like the fucking game companies would be like excuse me you're taking money off the person who should be i should be paid anyway it's like what the fuck is this in an old video i once used as background as a background song a piece of music when i had uh talked to the guy who made the song and he said no my stuff's not on content id it's all good use it however you want it's out there for you cool great uh the the video goes up and then a long time later i get a notification of an old video where someone took that song against it without any permission or anything that they did take that song and then they decided to like make like sing lyrics over it and then they put that into the content id system so that it claimed my you know my usage of the original song which was just an instrumental of course i fought it and i won and then i told the guy that there's this russian dude out there doing that to your stuff so it just shows how insanely broken the system is you can just take people shit and then put it in content id yourself fuck it who cares youtube just lets you do whatever and then we all lose yeah remember when i put my first video out back in the day on which one and just got stricken down completely by some random turkish company that was fun turkish really doing a lot to help the reputation i see if i'm if i may add to this i i made an episode of my eighth season of arby and the chief where i made a track myself where it contained three notes looped it was like narrow narrow and then youtube matched that as a bon jovi john bon jovi song jesus and i was just okay like i made this track but like are you really going to patent like three fucking notes like replayed over and over like in like a four bar sort of schematic or whatever i don't know what the right word to use this but like just like arpeggio and yeah something like that yeah where it's just like i feel like i'm not trying to copy anybody's song here this is three notes that i'm just like repeating over and over but it detected no you're playing the bon jovi song as a bon jovi song and then all of a sudden i couldn't like i i i mean whatever whatever the system is fucking broken it is it really is it's you're thrown onto a minefields blindfolded arms tight around your back and the mines change position every second yeah it's indistinguishable they they seem to have spent an insane amount of money google has on a content id system that is indistinguishable from randomness so good job google you did it you saved copyright and on that note we're gonna get out of here okay uh you shall find more videos we'll be pouring on to the moodlet channel as soon as they're all getting past the issues as presented tonight and uh well this one will be up pretty quickly i'd imagine and we're also about to pitch about manual copyright claims but fuck it that can be for a different day oh it can go on for fucking ever it's absurd that's the thing man especially when you've worked on something for so long and you've reached the finish line of the video it's like oh the adventure's just begun for copyright you're like oh for fuck sake hey molly you'll appreciate this you before we just before we go you know when you get the notifications we've matched copyright we think you know these channels have taken your content yeah you know you get those notifications i get them i get them all the time for nerder on it i'm just like one day one day i should just grab one of gary's videos gary's stealing your content but all right thank you so much for watching this is technically the new year's eve eve you guys will have a wonderful new year we'll see you then yes and uh i was about to say you could expect coverage of movie x and y but you know what i don't actually know exactly what we're doing yet so get excited for the mystery box that will be open who knows but we'll probably do what was supposed to be this episode next time we literally intro this episode as being what it was gonna be that didn't happen so we're gonna do it next week it'll be great one at all but thanks for being here folks and uh yeah see you next time bye bye see you next time bye bye