So next up we've got another friend of ours up here that I have the pleasure of introducing was is going to be speaking and She's got a wonderful talk on you are only human. So please welcome her to the tour camp stage. I Am hot now. Okay, so oh Mike's okay All right, my talk is called you are only human and if you're interested in it My particulars are down here at the bottom. I'm at Boston electrical engineer And I will actually get into why I'm giving this talk in the talk so I'm just going to jump into it and Start presenter mode because I've got 58 slides to get through so we're going to go pretty fast Resume and you are clicking next. Okay, so I Don't know about you, but I've heard this completely made up quote before from my friends I got into technology because I'd rather solve concrete problems and find real solutions Then then deal with messy things like other people and feelings I don't know about you, but I told this to myself a lot of times in college that people were hard and technology was easy and that's why I wanted to be an engineer and You know, that's that's part and parcel with the reality of being some of us You know, but I'm going to summarize something stealing from Bunny's talk yesterday In very clear engineering terms the software we run is only as good as the hardware We run it on and we're fundamentally limited by our hardware Our nature is human beings is something that you're probably interested in understanding because you're human And you might have been ignoring it up until this point But if you want to make a solid go of getting through life and social interaction without having a terrible time It's worth paying attention to who you are not just who you think you are So this is where I talk about how we're all Existentially alone because we're individuals living in a collective, but we experience the world in a very singular way We don't natively have any perspective but our own We're the only thing that's not in our environment You know, so we're out there, you know, trying to suss out the world and explore it in real time with this bizarre time-lapse Superposition of life and trying to build, you know, perspective from that and it's really slow It's painful and it's error prone, which is to say we're all walking along in the dark You know, trying to discover what the world looks like by running into the furniture and wondering why it hurts I wish I remembered which author said that it was someone cool like Ursula K. Le Guin or James Tiptree, Jr You know or maybe even Louise McMaster be old But like it was someone who was insightful about the human condition because this is the human condition And and if you're lucky, you might only get to know yourself You're not really gonna ever know the whole world. You're not really gonna ever know anybody else It's pretty fucking existential and even knowing yourself isn't straightforward We've got this entire self-help pop sci-culture for a reason, you know Like I am ENTJ destroyer of worlds like there's an entire like literature section in the bookstore and five sites on BuzzFeed Dedicated to giving you quick fixes and quizzes to tell you who you are and You know this they tell you this because you want to be able to know yourself So that you can do things like figure out what you want get out of your own way Realize your own potential make a million dollars have a bigger penis like whatever it is but like you're focused on improving your element of the human condition and These are things that a lot of people spend a lot of time and money trying to figure out and some some people never figure it out They're always frustrated But just like you can learn the skills and tools of hardware design and then like create this pattern where you make an investment It sucks a lot it hurts to learn But then you can fix something that's broken use that to design and analyze something else use that to build a New thing break that and then like go through this virtual cycle of leveling up Interpersonal skills and trying to understand who you are and the people around you has the exact same governing principles And if you make a little bit of an investment in understanding yourself and understanding others You can open up a whole world of possibilities that you don't know exist because you can marry your perspective To the person next to you and the person next to them and that's what teams are and that's what society is That's what value systems are so Being socially elite unlocks the following in-game features and I don't have notes So I have to read it off of here social interaction will become less perplexing and you'll have lower social anxiety and anxiety in general It will also be a plus 10 to social engineering because it's actually really easy to ask people for things talk to Amanda Palmer it also increases really ephemeral specs like fun and Satisfaction and improves how you feel even though you're not more hardcore You help it helps you accomplish goals with less angst things just feel easier, right? Like there's all of these things about effectiveness and productivity reducing self-criticism Reducing jealousy being a better person eating vegan eating more kale, you know But at the end of the day, you know, it even it even does in fact reduce inflammation and illness because you are made of meat and It helps you leverage all of the people around you to have a better life Doesn't that sound really really hardcore because it's really really hard So why bother being a more fully human when being a robot is your current safe operating default and Because negative you are still a meat popsicle being stressed as an organism in as an organism with Cognition and mind is really the difference between where you have expectations of what you think is going on and reality Whereas you all here are problem solvers if you have an accurate view of what's really going on in your life You're going to problem solve it.  Okay, so this is a social primate 101 You're only going to trust me if I'm actually being genuine so I'm going to flip to the notes that I didn't put in this speaker talk and Yeah, they're right here, so I'm giving this talk because Once upon a time I I fucked up and so this is radical vulnerability story time about seven eight years ago I had a dream job at the v-sinstitute for Harvard v-sinstitute for biologically inspired engineering at Harvard University Where I was an early hire. I was a staff engineer. We didn't have a lab We had a hundred and fifty million dollar budget that got matched and it involved all of the things I cared about after having burned out in semiconductors on consumer goods Which was an operating mission to help people and I was like, oh my god This is my moment. I can like work on things to save babies. I can do projects for the ninjas in the meantime I have a laser cutter. We're gonna build a team. It's gonna be great and I Cared I cared so much about my work and I cared way too much So what happened is I was tasked with building a team I was tasked with hiring out for other skill sets and it went fine until I was like I was like good finding like this guy's better at me than firmware this person's better at mechanical And then it got to the point where I needed to reproduce myself on the team I had to hire another engineer who is mixed signal analog And I really wanted to work with another woman and we found one she really wanted to be on the team So we hired her and and I was I was really confused about how other people work So I assume she was like me and I assumed the things that motivated me motivated her And I assumed that we would like be good friends and I assumed that we would work well together and I was completely completely fucking wrong you know, so I Was ineffective in bringing this person on my team They ended up hating me. I started getting angry I started getting more antisocial and I'm like, what am I doing wrong and That a friend handed me this book called a dealing with people you can't stand because the way I started this process Was I assumed that the woman who joined my team was my work nemesis.  I can't stand her and In in page like and the way this book starts out is it gives you a whole list of the ten archetypes of people You can't stand in the workplace Whether it's the person who's belligerently throwing their weight around the person who's passive aggressive the person who avoids work the yes Man whatever you get through it and you're like, yeah, I know that guy work with him.  So I realized that I had to grow TM and become a better person to do better next time So art and technology actually have a huge intersection already and they have excellent metaphors for understanding the human condition I started off by listening to a couple Smith's albums and realized I wasn't alone I I tried to console myself by validating my feelings about how much the situation sucked because it did and You know, but I'm like, you know what? I've been through I've been through really crappy situations before I got through undergrad at MIT Which is mainly like demoralizing, you know, but it taught me how to build things My manager Consolidate me by telling me most people when confronted with an opportunity for growth because they are screwing up Choose instead not to grow and to move on to a different situation with a new set of people where they play out the same routines Because growing is scary and hard and most people aren't up for doing it You know and and then the next thing I did was I told myself you have to break something in order to extend it And I was clearly broken and I needed to figure myself out so that I could get out of my own way So rather than being really woeful and stubbornly insisting I was right and this woman was wrong and that guy was wrong and this person was wrong I I sucked it up and I wholeheartedly accepted that I was wrong even though it hurt a lot to do that And then I realized I didn't still didn't magically know like accepting that you suck doesn't teach you anything new You're like, man, I'm really bad at shell scripting. It doesn't like wanting it doesn't make you better at it And so since my goal was really ultimately to make cool things with teams to help people Here's what I dove into so what does it mean to be human and Basically, we all have this thing called theory of mind a theory of mind kicks in between like around one to two years old And it's the developmental state for your hardware at which point you realize that everybody else in the world is not an NPC And a figment of your subconscious like there's actually a point where very with the way we run is we're so self-referential That it is a developmental stage to realize other people are human and that you are just a small part of a large space If you go into philosophy it covers a lot of this as well There's this thing called the mind-body problem where Descartes tried to argue that we're a consciousness The body doesn't matter and oh Descartes was silly. That's bullshit, you know we're a whole complete organism and And you've got to treat yourself as an organism and not a crystalline entity or brain in a jar So how do we process the world and in machine learning terms because we're very good learning machines We're basically a conscious process that's constantly waiting our experiences And those experiences are intrinsic and extrinsic. It's extrinsic being other people What's going on with the weather and intrinsic being things like I really wonder if I should have drank a liter of water before I Got on stage because I'm worried I have to pee right So these things there's also things like vulnerability factors Which is extra load on your system extra things you're dealing with and these things form like a shield around yourself identity You know and a lot of the cognitive shortcuts and sort of things associated with your belief system and your personality That you keep with you in your backpack up in front of your face like a HUD, you know as you navigate through life and These weights are approximations we make that also affect how we interact with everyone else because everyone else has their own story and their own training matrix and Everyone forms things like judgments biases Cognitive distortions things that they believe to be true that might be completely different from what you believe to be true Even though you're both operating in a very similar environment Because like I said, we're all alone in this environment and everyone's got a different path. They're walking So another step is the fact that we're social primates, so this is some pretty recent research I really like Sarah Pessi Sarah Perry's summary essay on this Which is linked down here, but it's others in mind social origins of self-consciousness and I've mentioned before that you don't really know who you are right because like you're a single point of reference And you're not in your environment and that's because cognitively Social primates we get to know ourselves through the eyes of the people around us So there's this like interesting recursive process that happens like I know sometimes that I feel really goofy silly and anxious And then Fabienne's like no was your cool and I can tell that she means it So in my viewpoint, I'm like, huh, and then I see myself reflected in Fabienne's viewpoint that she gives me Honestly, no, you're doing fine and I'm like, oh, okay So now I have this mental model of myself in Fabienne and I have this model of Fabienne And I've got the little me inside Fabienne and that's one of you of me that she gives back to me And then I've got another one from Deviant and I've got another one from Redbeard And this is why people say you should choose your friends because if the people around you are reflecting really Distorted or completely wrong or manipulative images of you you're going to believe it because this is how we're wired to form social groups This is how we actually establish the identity of others and ourselves, you know en masse. That's how our consciousness works So loved so we've got this lens of perception, right both internal perception and external perception We've got this bizarre recursive social model and we've got this tendency to be like constantly learning machines So what does that get us? It gets us a lot of kind of messed up bugs. So biases 101 Meat doesn't follow Moore's law We you know fundamentally are running on a very limited amount of hardware and so we take Computational shortcuts. We're very good at measuring, you know looking at patterns So we start with things like perception and experience and then you have something to curtey you repeatedly and then you're like Okay, I'm gonna make an assessment about it like the sky is blue and it's Tuesday So I'm like quick sweet the sky is blue on Tuesday I've got an association now and then you can turn those associations into things like archetypes So that when I walk up to somebody I'm like that person has a utila kilt I bet they also have a leatherman, right and then then you get into things like judgments or That person drives a Tesla. I think I'm going to reserve judgment for now or You know and then and then in addition to meat doesn't follow Moore's law You've got a limited amount of cash So there's a phenomenon called the monkey sphere and I apologize I forgot to link it But there's actually like a limited amount of processing power you have to view other people as people so that you're interacting with them in this sort Of green zone is sort of like I take you as you come and it's like new every time You rapidly jump to archetypes and judgments and then biases logical fallacies cognitive distortions and shortcuts like racism as soon as There are too many people in the room, right? And so that's how you get like, you know massive sweeping statements about dirty hippies or hipsters because they ruin everything right and and this is just how we work Right you can get to know someone who's different from you But this is computationally intensive and this is almost computationally free, which is why we do it Which is why it's hard Which is why actually having to fuck jaren fair and just society is constant vigilance, right absolutely constant vigilance My diaphragm shakes when I have to try to talk quiet, so I'm gonna move the mic back and yell All right, so cognitive bias I'm gonna give an example of this stuff cognitive biases go up to Wikipedia because cognitive biases you Actually can categorize them the way you can categorize things like stack overflows because you can stack overflow people So, you know, they're organized into categories based on things like too much information, right? You just gave me too many words to know not enough meaning so I'm gonna jump to a conclusion The need to act quickly put pressure on somebody like a used car salesman and see what you can get away with You know and the limits of memory give them too many things to remember and eventually They'll just dump core and go into a random state Right, and you know this because you've done it and you usually feel pretty bad when you realize that's happened to you All right, then there's also logical fallacies by the way You can download this poster for free or order thou shalt not commit logical fallacies from your logical fallacies Org these are things like if you've argued on the internet, you know what these mean But they're they're fundamental flaws and reasoning and when you think about it these fallacies are Repeated throughout cultures. They're repeated throughout generations. You can see them in older writings, right? They're repeated constantly. They're part of the human condition They indicate some of our shortcuts that we take cognitively as we participate in society And then we've got cognitive distortions and if you know what these are I hope you're getting help to work on them because they're exaggerated or irrational thoughts that you just fall into and Every single person does this. This is not the purview of mental health every human has cognitive distortions I had a friend where he he was telling me a story about How his parents took him a snowboarding as a kid or scheme and he was giving a friend fashion advice for snowboarding as an adult And she was picking out some garish jacket and he's like you can't you can't buy that You can't wear that moguls don't like bright colors and then he heard himself and he's like oh shit Right because his parents just didn't want him wearing like neon yellow on the slopes But he actually integrated that right and it was real to him as a 35 year old, right? So and we all do things like selective abstraction. We take the wrong lesson out We make things our fault. We over personalize we over generalize and these are actually Distorted cognitive processes. These are shortcuts you've and ruts you've gotten into And in the context of tech because I do want to make this about tech Check out this paper because bias is why qaqc is completely separate from dev and product dev and dev ops Right. This is why engineers aren't allowed to test their own things bias is why the FDA publishes guidance is on user interactions and Structures things about you know adverse event reporting bias is why the FDA has created this really interesting Event reporting system because they realized that pilots won't report when they mess up if there is a penalty So they have a double-blind reporting system so that they can keep track of faults While not you know discouraging people from reporting because bias and all of these cognitive shortcuts literally kill people all the time Especially when you don't mean to this is how humans make mistakes and either inadvertently or inadvertently hurt other people So check out you are not the user the false consequence of false consensus effect It's a really good paper for why this applies to tech. It'll be a good introductory into the topic and then I mentioned things like vulnerability factors like How much water I had to drink these things all predispose you to being To making these cognitive mistakes right like if you have low-grade pain It's that's the same thing as the spoons metaphor you only have so many spoons to get through your day That actually means that you have a finite amount of cognitive resources allocated per waking cycle or less if you sleep terribly because we're made of meat and You go through that executive function, you know throughout the day You can only make so many decisions decision fatigue is real and these things will actively make your error rate go up and You know part of how that works is these things elevate cortisol and adrenaline and those neuro transmitters Reinforce this shortcutting process. It's supposed to be the very fast reaction that keeps you safe from a lion So there's a PTSD talk coming up if you want to know more about the body effects of you know stress Go to that talk. It's also good to check out and the body keeps the score So I'm going to go through a quick example because I don't want to run out of time But I think I'm doing okay on judgment and bias. So check this out legal first is Audi driver who deliberately slammed the brakes and road rage is convicted So let's go through the order of operations of how this works because I don't know about you But I think all Audi drivers are assholes and this confirms that bias. So I'm like ah finally justice So what happens is there's usually an established pattern and you can't necessarily control what takes a certain input stimulus and makes a pattern for you Sometimes it's conscious. Sometimes it's unconscious, right? Sometimes it happened when you were a kid Sometimes it's something you borrow from your friends like hardcore people have to drink Red Bull and stay up till 5 a.m. Every day and then but you establish a pattern and then that repeats and you create a judgment and Then what happens is you react based on that judgment because it's a shortcut for when you're in a stress situation So saying I'm like driving along. I'm super late to work I'm super stressed and Audi driver cuts me off.  I'm like haha. I drive a fast car too. I'm gonna get you or I drive behind a Civic try me bro, right so and That behavior that behavior then leads to reinforcing these you know bad interactions So now I'm engaging in confirmation bias, and it's not just confirmation bias I am creating a self-fulfilling prophecy where I set up these situations where Audi drivers are ticked me and I don't know Why right?  Well, you know So when you think about it people Are interacting with one another at a level that's far removed from your individual self, right? So like Do you think anyone here cried this morning? What did you what did you eat on the way in do you know if anyone else is drinking to be right now? Do you know how other people feel around you? You probably don't right. You're like, oh everyone's probably doing this thing because that's what my model tells me Yeah, you're interacting with the projection you made of them, you know, and maybe they're projecting something to you like man I hope I'm cool enough to be a tour camp. Oh god. I'm so nervous. This is my first time This is not my first time, but like I was nervous the first time I came and you know When I tried to be too cool for school that created a very different experience than when I was honest about being nervous You know because the real us we keep it on the inside We keep it secret keep it safe and You know and that means that we're not really interacting with each other Which means we're creating sort of all of these judgments and assessments based on really shitty data Because it's cognitively convenient to do that You kind of have social rules of things like if I've got enough rules then I will know exactly what I need to do socially Okay, so these people need to do this thing on Tuesday and on Wednesday the bank teller has to smile at me Right, we have social rules that are meant to sort of offload some of this work, you know in common value systems But you know those things are just meant to get people to do stuff together It's not meant to get you to be happy healthy less alone, right? You know, so we've got this catch-22 situation where we can perceive the projection of ourselves through how other people treat us if they're being honest sometimes people are assholes and they lie to you about who you are and We can see other people through this lens of our own lived experience That includes all of these glitchy shortcuts like did I eat breakfast and was someone mean to me on the train? You know and you know through all of these distortions and biases and distorted self-beliefs, right? And and that's like having a two-bit multimeter as your only piece of test equipment that you can use to explore the world But the world is all 16-bit color, right?  Because that's that's we are single points in time moving along together existentialism one-on-one So and that's the end of the introduction. So I'm at 24 minutes 24 minutes and and I forget what I have next but we're gonna discover it together So the rest of this talk is focused on the how and why you might be interested in doing the following With a couple of tips like this is actually a whole whole large discipline like I mentioned of introspection and meditation and going to therapy and doing what people call the work, right? Like this is why people go to Al-Anon. This is why people go to Alcoholics Anonymous. This is why people join groups. This is why people do toastmasters People come to conferences right to try things out with their friends in a safe environment. This is society This is a lifelong problem But maybe, you know, you want to know a little bit now about what it's like to dismantle sort of this Lens of perception into a more accurate heads-up display that allows you to separate out things that are about other people Things that are about them from things that are about you Because then you can start to say, okay, you know what? I think this is because I need to have a smoothie right now in a five-minute break and when I do that I'm actually gonna be able to solve this problem and You want to be able to separate out this is about me from this is about them in part So you can understand the difference between yourself and your projection Right like it took me a long time to realize that the way I got through college was by establishing a persona that I called Was where everyone's like, what's gonna do it? Oh, you need something done? She's got it done for you And I was actually like sitting there on the inside being like, oh my god When are people going to start helping me do things? Oh, I'm really tired, right?  Like the domestic partners doing all of this work They just want the other person to step in and help them with the work and then the other person says well You should have asked me to do it, you know not realizing how much pressure the domestic partner is on, right? and and and you might not realize that you're kind of setting the relationship up to be that way right because of your Projection and your thing is like man. I got it. I got to get everything done. I got to be the perfect parent Right or I've got to be the perfect provider or I've got to be the perfect hacker or I've got to be the most lead, right?  So but But you do want to you do want to acknowledge that everyone else is sort of projecting because they've got their own thing going On because you might want to get to know them for real because then you'll have a friend, right? And someone you can trust so I'm gonna say a couple of things with conviction that you probably won't agree with and you probably wouldn't say on your own or Maybe you really do believe these things These data beliefs may drive you to react and I'll get into a little bit about that later I'm just gonna pick some at at random like normal people aren't as smart as hackers or Real hackers don't waste their time on self-care because you know, that's not productive time You could be writing code Computers do exactly what you tell them to my code is self-documenting and You know, the work is the only thing that matters and Your hard work will be rewarded if it's good enough because this is a genuine meritocracy and Things like you know what? We're all hackers. We're technologists.  Then you're experiencing something called cognitive dissonance that drives you to sort of figure out where you stand in relation to this And that cognitive dissonance is a result of your lived experience, right? And again if you've argued with people on the internet and someone is actually saying what they believe and you think they're just trolling But they are being sincere you will have you know appreciation for how different people's viewpoints are even though They're all moving through the same meat space So we're gonna take 30 seconds to mentally rewrite some of the statements just in your own head To remove judgment and reduce it to an actual fact Like I'm gonna pick. Oh, I didn't say this one I'm gonna pick one I've heard where women aren't good enough to do tech and so that one's gonna take a lot of rewriting I'm gonna say Women were some of the earliest technologists back when it wasn't considered socially desirable to do that sort of work but Tech can be hard, but women are people too and we all have the same basic processing capability and There's a lot of bias to deal with to to get to other people understanding that right because when we state these things that we believe to be true a lot of times they're judgments and They're not facts So step one in like Understanding what you've got going on in your heads up display that's sort of distorting your view of the world is Talking to yourself and seeing what sort of things you say and looking at what you write and looking at what you tweet and looking at Why you tweet it and then say holy shit. Okay, hold on. Can I rephrase this in In the form of Fred Rogers, right kindergarten rules kindergarten rules What if I for a day had to go through and talk to people like I was mr. Rogers, right? There's a really cool paper called freddish the special language mr. Rogers used with children Because he actually knew how children hear things literally and he wanted to make sure that no one got left behind And he applied so he basically he had like a model of how children view the world He had a model of their lens of perception and he did a pre transformation For everything he said and did on that show to make sure that it focused what he said In a way that they could get it, right? He wanted to pitch it to them.  I can't believe I procrastinated.  That's not factual. You're probably quite smart Yes, you did procrastinate, but that's not the whole story so another thing is our states of mind influence how we interpret facts and situations so We're all familiar the literature. I get this from is mind mindfulness literature And they like to call this thinking mind, but I prefer to call it rationalizing mind So that's when you are in an engagement and you're like, I'm being technically correct Which we know is the best form of correctness You know and then you've got emotional mind Which is where someone is super amped up and they are not listening and they need to make their point They need to be heard and like it's all the feels right And the thing to remember about people who are in emotional mind and also you when you're in emotional mind is No one's gonna remember if you were right. They're only gonna remember how you made them feel You know and we spend 90% of our time as human beings bouncing between these two You know we're either being like super like but technically, you know, or we're just like bam reacting fast, right and In either one of these states in both of these states We're not playing with a full deck we rely really heavily on bias and judgments and these states force us You know to pick those really quickly whether it's like a preconceived notion or it's just a knee-jerk reaction those are being driven by rationalizing and emotional reactions and You know in both of these states if you need to handle something complicated You're probably not gonna do an optimal job of it right because you're not playing with a full deck like you're you're already relying on every Shortcut you have it's like the CPU load is super high because someone's you know doing stuff in the background Maybe they installed malware on your computer except it's native because maybe you're a Samsung phone So, you know one of the important things to do is to try to figure out how to find the middle space Which in mindfulness they refer to as wise mind or wisdom where you're pulling information from both But you're not being driven by either these very intellectual or very emotional reactions because then you have options Then you like then it's like you just unlocked a new portion of the map, right? You can go exploring in it and make better decisions Yeah, so here's the here's the chart of the distribution of probability of time you spend here very very small probability You are being wise without trying really hard and a good way to identify Where you're at right now is sort of like look at your thoughts and see what they're like Are you cool? Is everything slow? Are you rational? Are you task-focused? Are you surgical? Do you have a plan it are 15 people gonna march in line for your plan? You might be rationalizing your loot ruled by logic and pragmatics And otherwise if you're an emotional mind, you might just feel super urgent You're like the shit's got to get done now, right? And And It's a very intense experience, you know, and you might have a lot of feelings come up during it And I'm not one I don't want to say that these states are bad, right? And that you should feel bad if you're doing one or the other they both have information and that's the point They both have a lot of information We are social organisms your feelings give you a lot of information like you can have a hunch that tells you Well that person I don't want to be standing next to them because they're just there's something about it You don't understand why but you're like I don't feel safe there or you know what that doesn't look right or hey You know what? There's something wrong with that that that that packet value. I I'll know what it is in a minute. These things are giving you tons of information sort of below the radar And you want to combine that information to have a very sort of accurate reference point for this moment, right? Like I'm surrounded by my friends and this is really awesome And I'm really happy to be here even though I'm nervous, right? That's the reality and You know so when Buddhists talk about letting go of attachment They talk about letting go of all of the things that you sort of assume to be true when you're in one state or the other where you're like No, I'm in the state and I've got to stay in this state like you can invert This to have like sort of a well of activation energy if you're super emotional It's hard to calm down and if you're super rational. It's hard to listen to other people, right? And it takes a lot of energy to say I'm going to try to sit above this and be as fair as I can even though this feels terrible And it's exhausting right like if you're being the good parent as opposed to the parents who's like I quit kids of yours and you know so That's attachment to be one way or another to be like this has to be the way as opposed to saying I can have more perspective So when Buddhists talk about letting go of attachment They don't mean that you shouldn't care and you shouldn't feel and you shouldn't think and you shouldn't have a belief They mean that you should just be aware of where you're coming from and aware of your own state of mind Be able to see and identify where you're at be able to see and identify what things are judgments What things are assumptions what things are facts and then like name them and identify them like Leaves in a stream so that you can let them go and go think about something else and the law is going to come back There's always going to be more stuff flowing past but when you let them go. That's when you can problem solve So this is like the sort of introspective equivalent of going for a walk because you need to figure out how to solve a problem You're giving yourself a break and you're moving past what you're focused on you're saying gonna let go of the focus I'm gonna walk away from the terminal. I'm gonna go to the vending machine. I'm gonna solder some stuff I'm gonna play some video games And then I'm gonna come back because you're trying to let go of the problem so that you can come back to it and solve it right Because if you were to stay in front of your terminal and not get that perspective You would just repeat the same mistake over and over and over and over and over again So the parable of the two Buddhist monks demonstrates this does anyone know this one? Yay, okay, so the parable of the monks arm an older monk and a younger monk are walking down the road And they hear a raucous and screaming so they run out To where they hear it from and there's a woman drowning in the lake and the younger monk is like I don't know what to do and so the older monk jumps into the water grabs the woman pulls her out of the lake She's super sod and he really has to like drag her up onto the beach Then he has to turn her over knock the water out of her lungs Give her CPR and then he sits with her for an hour to make sure that she's okay before he moves on The younger monk doesn't do anything during this time. So then they pick up they get their stuff They keep going down the road And about five hours later the younger monk finally speaks and he says hmm Brother I I have I have some concerns the older monk is oh you tell me tell me about your concerns And the younger one says you touched that woman back there, and you know, we're not supposed to touch women and The first ones think the first one the older one says hmm. I see well I may have touched her body, but you've been the one carrying her with us for the past five hours or We can have the parable of Allison Mallory and the new QC system So So basically Alice and Mallory work on the same team and Alice has just been promoted to team lead And she's like you know what we really need to do better. We need to implement unit test We need to implement code coverage. We're gonna have a QC system.  She doesn't really know how to run the test She doesn't you know, she just keeps on doing things the old way and Alice gets like really irate and just like keeps Keeps working on the system being like Mallory. You've got to do a better job You know and brings her in for some pretty tense one-on-ones where she's like, why aren't you doing this and Mallory's like? I don't want to talk about it like you know This is really you know This is just difficult and then Mallory starts talking to the water cooler and man this really sucks It's like process isn't really good, you know I don't know what I'm like I want to do it the right way But like you know Alice doesn't know what she's doing and it's like super tense I'm like why did everything change when she got promoted all this really sucks, you know And before long you've got a classic management setup to fail scenario Alice puts Mallory on a performance improvement plan and Mallory quits and You know do we know what happened there? Do you have some ideas? Because we actually don't know at all what happened there But if you have ideas and you have strong opinions and those opinions are already forming that tells you a lot about yourself So we don't know what happened with Alice. Maybe Alice wasn't good at talking to people Maybe her presentations weren't clear. Maybe her process was convoluted. Maybe it made sense to her not nobody else Maybe Mallory didn't care, right? I was just dragging her feet or maybe Mallory cared but couldn't do it We don't know right like is like know what like that the scenario doesn't include all of those sort of internal details Because we don't have those about other people But if you find yourself like making assumptions about someone else's intentions without information Those that data is about you. It's not about them So that's one way to separate out is this me or is it them because if you can get that information on nothing It's about you so Related let's let's practice what noting is like so this is called the four seven eight or relaxing breathing exercise It's a very yoga thing to do and it's basically really simple We're gonna breathe in for four seconds hold it for seven and then breathe out for eight. So breathe in Breathe out now do it again breathe in Hold it now breathe out Keep breathing while I'm talking So I want you to exhale completely through your mouth and for the fun of it do make a whoosh sound So we're gonna take a few seconds to stop and note and so while you're breathing in and Breathing out slowly. I want you to try to observe how you feel Do you have any particular sensation in your body right now? Are you experiencing any particular emotions that you can identify? Keep breathing and try to name those emotions If the emotion comes with a physical sensation try to describe it to yourself Maybe your hands are tingly. Maybe your fingers feel cold or you have tension in your shoulders Keep breathing and see if the emotion has any reaction or action urge that comes with it Do you know what that urge is? Can you name it or is it not particularly specific? As you keep breathing, do you have any idea where that urge might be coming from and? Can you just name that without judging it? And then move on to the next feeling to see that come through Can you describe for yourself the way the air feels right now? and Then note any sounds either inside or outside the dome Breathe in and breathe out And when you feel ready Come back to the room So that's a that's a breathing and noting exercise and the things you know, they're just your thoughts and feelings They're not who you are, you know, that's not Dictating where you're coming from or where are you going today? It's just stuff you're carrying around in your backpack because we're magpies and we pick up shiny and painful feelings And we put them in our backpack and keep them with us for all time Because your objective in being an effective person is trying to get to the zone of awesome where you've got your side Their side and the truth and like I mentioned earlier one of the things that forced me to actually look at myself and Improving myself so I could be less of a dick to the people around me because I was being super perfectionistic and Driving myself really hard and that made me drive other people's really hard And made it not fun to work with me on a team because I was taking everything too seriously because oh my god I wanted to save babies Right, but that's not an effective way to save babies if people are constantly saying like screw you. I don't want to work on your project Is is it takes two to fight and then I ran into a person in the grocery line. I learned awesome things from strangers. I Had one person tell me Don't should all over yourself Like if you're constantly saying yourself, oh, I should be doing this and I should be doing that like stop and maybe say What do I want to be doing because right now I'm just goading myself and making myself feel bad and The person in the grocery line said, you know what? There's always three sides to every story your side there aside in the truth and I'm like, oh my god, this is great Because you really want to get to that like awesome zone of win because that's when you are aligned with the people next to you And you can put your little flashlight so singular perspective together and map out more of the world That's effectiveness.  So This stuff is not easy to do you are constantly running a huge amount of cognitive tasks You're doing 15 million things like you're running biological processes You might have tissue that's damaged in healing. You've got a lot going on in your emotional life You've got a lot going on with work.  So that's why you see President Obama a former president Obama make Shortcuts like he has or the fly. Let's talk about the fly. Let's keep it nerdy. His suits are all the same So he doesn't have to think about it. He's like optimized.  So it's all done by proxy. Oh, what do I do?  I have a twisted ankle.  I am eating ice cream and I play video games, right? You know so you can you can learn by noting about yourself You can try to observe other people you can practice separating those two things out until you get an accurate picture and This is also probably usually pretty challenging for people in compsai and security based on everybody I know but practicing compassion is really hard But practicing compassion to yourself Practicing compassion to others is being effective if you can't think of anything nice about anybody else Try saying I'm a good person I hold the door open for other people sometimes and I am kind to small animals Because if those things are true it creates a little window Right, and if you don't have that window or you want to know how big your window is Like do you have a bay window? Do you have like floor to ceiling windows? Are you looking out of a periscope? There's this thing called the self-compassion score. It's like 20 questions And it's you know actually research driven and therapy driven, but it gives you questions like When I'm really into to note on you know one to five Things like when I'm really struggling I tend to feel like other people must be having an easier time of it or I'm intolerant and impatient towards those aspects of my personality that I don't like in which case you might be Shooting all over yourself all the time and driving up the system load or You might actually say a five on I try to see my failings as part of the human condition I don't always succeed, but I try Hmm because if you can't hold yourself in compassion You know and go through and actually sort of give yourself the benefit of the doubt.  It's hard, right?  You know because many pennies aren't self-care, right? Maybe self-care is having breakfast every day Maybe self-care is taking time to see your friends, right? You know, but it's the only thing that'll take you through and there's another article I really like because I you know try to find and identify with other people going through things and there's an MIT admissions blog Entry about meltdown where this young woman is basically saying She was having a really hard time She was thinking about dropping out of school and her friends like oh, I think I see your problem You only stay happy to the extent that it helps you be a better scientist And you only take care of yourself to the extent that it helps you be a better scientist And that's not the right reason to go on living, right? You've got to actually take care of yourself So I'm gonna run through the last slides pretty quickly before I run out of time But here are the tools you use, right? So you've got tools to debug yourself You can note and try to be compassionate and non-judgmental when you think about where you're at where you're coming from and where you want to go and you know Admittedly that process is going to be scary and you can practice naming those feelings or doing mindfulness practice like the exercise I just walked through you can talk to a friend about the situation. So in the work situation, I talked to one of my best friends I tried to outline everything You know really reasonably to her and her feedback to me was you are being an asshole, right? She reflected me back to myself accurately, right?  If you are working on things like cognitive distortions Then a cognitive behavioral therapist can help you with that, right? If you have distorted thinking from someone who's like just skewed your worldview and you're like How do I get to a different worldview given that this is where I'm at? That's what CBT is If you're working on things like man, I get angry at the drop of a hat or I'm just so anxious all the time I can't even think straight That's usually the purview of dialectical behavioral therapy or DBT Which is usually done in a group setting so that you can kind of role model from all of the people around you Right and like work on it with a group and a care team DBT helps people with borderline personality disorder be functional and effective the founder had borderline personality disorder But you know these things are you know good if you have trauma. They're good if you have PTSD They're good if you don't they're good if you just grew up lonely Or if you just don't know what you want and you need like a little bit of help to figure that out so that you can Go happily tuteline along on your way Like there's nothing wrong with getting help to have someone Reflect you back to yourself when you don't have a mirror in your apartment, right? And tools to debug others are things like you know the same way you set up to solve an engineering problem Be clear when you go in about what you're trying to do just be honest with yourself Am I going into that office to make a make a deal and like get a new person on my team? You know do I have a task or a goal in mind? Am I going into that office because I know that I really want that person to work with me And I may not think that they have the right answer But their relationship is important and I know that someday we're going to do better work together Or am I going in that office because I need to feel self-respect this person. It's pushing me around and goddamn And I'm not going to take it anymore, right? What are your goals if you know those and act in an integrity with them you'll have an easier time whereas like if you say I'm trying to get the task done, but really you just want to pick a fight You're not going to get the task done and a fight's going to go badly Then you know with other people you don't want to put all of your stuff on them, right? If you're asking someone for something project that you're calm, right? Try not to be manipulative I mean, I know that this would be plus 10 to social engineering But usually you are effective in social engineering when you take the work off of somebody else, right? So like spend a little time be confident be calm be willing be open Listen actively like you have to learn about other people by kind of Situationally observing them in different settings, right? If you're not paying attention, you're not learning anything about them Then you need to you know validate the valid like active listening isn't I know what you're going to say And then tuning them out. Maybe they'll surprise you people will surprise you Makes based during the interaction for things to happen Don't script everything in your life because you're convinced it has only one way to go. That's very very rational, right? but it's also very very narrow and Adjust your tactics right like things are going to change people are going to throw you for curves But you're smart you're flexible and you can figure it out, but you have to stay, you know like light on your feet This is why I like when you're doing martial arts you stay centered and calm again wisdom the best of both worlds So that you can just sort of move with what you have to do as opposed to entrenched rigid and predetermined So I saw a pretty cool tweet from a friend that demonstrates this because you should do some low-stake team-building exercises like Try to describe something you want your friend to draw through a wall Or you can play games and we'll see I don't think I have time for this But the MIT mystery hunt had a challenge two years ago where you had to recite password strings to another player It's at ten minutes on the mystery hunt documentary I really recommend you watch it because it's hilarious and it shows you how people interact together and how they build a rapport And a relationship in order to solve this problem with you know both people passing the issue back and forth you know and Again, this is a summary of how much emotional work and emotional labor all of this is yes It is a lot of work This is why managers get paid what they do because they do this work for a team and as you go along one side It's increasingly more like therapy everything from pitching things like mr. Rogers does to you know sorting out and and Fixing miscommunications by figuring out where each person is coming from even though they might not know right? That's management's job But if your team members do some of this thing like role modeling right and setting values and setting clear boundaries and being Consistent then the whole team will work better together Which is to say if you're very clear about where you're coming from and why you'll have an easier time interfacing with other people's API's and You know again, let go of control you've got to be vulnerable to build trust if people don't know who you are They're not going to trust you they're not going to listen to you and you're not going to see the real them Right so don't hold the reins of power tightly if you get the chance to work with people Hold them loosely and give them that open space to trust you and help you in ways you might not expect Because this can make you a much better developer and technologist And it's a lifelong practice And you may not have the skills yet, and you may not know what you want But you've got like how many decades to work on it if you want to this stuff can slow you down But it can't stop you you're all way too smart for that and There are worse things to be than human right it's actually pretty cool because then you get a friend It's dangerous to go along take this Much worse things to be. Thank you very much


In today's video, we are going to talk about some interesting facts and myths about the Burmila cat. A fairly placid cat, the affectionate and sweet Burmila is easy to get along with and requires minimal care. The Burmila cat is a soft colored cat in the United Kingdom. This cat was developed by cross mating Chinchilla Persian with Burmese breed. This cat is one of the world's most attractive cats. It has an easy care short coat that comes in two variations, the short and semi-long. The eye color of Burmila cat is uncertain until it grows two years of their age. The cat is loyal, devoted, and incredibly affectionate and it craves human companionship. The medium size Burmila has a sweet expression, a laid back but mischievous personality, and two coat types. He's generally family friendly, with a coat that's easy to groom, albeit somewhat prone to matting. Here are some interesting facts about Burmila cat that will surely amaze you. 1. Burmila cat's history. The Burmila cat is a result of the accidental creation of a new breed. It was the sheer unplanned cross mating between Chinchilla and Lilac Burmese cat in 1981. The owner of Lilac Burmese left the door open from where it escaped and met a male Chinchilla Persian cat. The result of mating was an adorable short-haired female kitten having silver coated fur with black shade. In this way, a new breed was developed. The Burmila is rarely seen. In Britain, it is still an experimental breed, and it is not yet accepted by the major registries in the United States. 2. Burmila cat's behavior. Burmila cats are sociable companions, playful, balanced, sweet character and a peculiar feature is that they are good vocalists. They are very curious about what they love to explore and wander throughout the house. However, they adapt well to living inside. If you live in an apartment you have found the perfect company in a cat breed. By being sociable, you get along well with the children and another pet you have. They greatly appreciate being pampered, so do not neglect them on that subject. The Burmila cat is very kind to its owner and is in constant communication, it is an independent animal and will not be a problem to stay alone at home. It has a very demanding personality when it comes to pampering and caressing it. The irresistible looks of the cat can make anyone fall in love with it. The cat is leery of strangers but with time, it will get along with them. This sweet-natured cat is fun-loving and loves to be social with every member of the family. The cat has moderate vocalization which means it will meow or cry at night sometimes for no valid reason. Because of its lightweight and easygoing nature, you can carry the cat in your purse or lap efficiently. 3. Burmila cat's personality. This cat has an irreverent and independent personality. You can find the perfect blend of Burmese and the Persian cat and a single breed of cat. The cat is affectionate and a little extroverted in nature. It is adventurous and loves to explore new places or things for play. It is a well-suited cat for families with children and a cat-friendly dog. It remains playful throughout its life. The cat loves the attention it gets from polite children. It is advised to teach your kids how to pet cats by keeping them on. 4. Burmila cat's appearance. The Burmila is a medium-sized cat, but she is also stocky and heavy. This breed is somewhat compact while being very muscular with heavy boning. The Burmila is a very rounded cat. The head is round and the tips of the ears are round. The profile shows a break, and the eyes are very slightly slanted. Burmila cat's coat is short and soft. Because of the original pairing, the coat is also thick and dense. 5. Burmila cat's activities requirement. Keep the cat busy with fun and thrilling cat toys. Bring a medium-sized cat's tree in your house where the cat can have its own time when you're not able to pay attention to it. The cat loves to play with kids and other dogs. Hello. This video is sponsored by Beemix Pets. Are you looking for high-quality cat collars at an affordable cost? Check out BeemixPets.com. Use coupon code KittenLife, to get 20% off. 6. Burmila cat's training. They are naturally well-mannered and like a gentleman. The Burmila cat is a very docile companion, which with simple commands you can teach him to do several things. However, what we are most concerned about are their bad behaviors such as scratching furniture, not using their litter box, not sleeping in their bed. The inherited traits of the cat like attention-seeking attitude or meowing unnecessary cannot go by training. But you can teach them how to be self-reliant when you are busy. 7. Burmila cat's needs a healthy diet food. Each kitten has its different nutritional needs, especially when it comes to its stage of development. Cats are carnivorous in nature so their diet should have enough protein depending on your cat's age, lifestyle, and general health. As the breed is an active cat, it will require good nutrition. You have three alternatives to offer a good diet, dry, moist, and natural cat foods. Give the cat premium quality wet and dry food. The cat is not prone to obesity and can maintain its body shape. Give them 80 calories of healthy food per day. 8. Burmila cat's lifespan. The average lifespan of a Burmila cat is 10 to 15 years. 9. Burmila cat's health issues. The breed is not hypoallergenic. It is a healthy cat but you should be aware of the common issues faced by the cat. It can suffer from polycystic kidney disease and allergies. 10. Burmila cat's grooming. Although cats groom themselves, regular grooming is advised to keep its coat in good shape. It stimulates circulation, massages the skin, and removes debris and loose hair. Grooming also strengthens the bond between the owner and the cat. The cat sheds lightly. It is suitable for those owners who do not want to deal with cat hair. The grooming requirements of the cat are simple. There is no need to make special efforts. Once a while brushing is recommended because that will keep its coat free from mats. Moreover spending time grooming its coat will bring you closer to your pet. 10. Bathing. As cats clean themselves, bathing can be introduced into the cat's routine when it's a kitten and should be done every two to three weeks. During times of shedding, bathing will help to remove dead hair. Try and teach your cat to get used to bathing when it's a kitten. Fill a washbasin or sink with lukewarm water, and ensure that you use veterinary approved shampoo. Work the shampoo in thoroughly, and ensure that it completely washed out, as any residue shampoo can hurt your kitty when it dries. A good rub with a towel will help to get your cat dry, but they do tend to groom themselves for a while after bathing to dry them off properly. 10. Brushing. They shed moderately, so regular brushing is a must. Brushing must be introduced when your cat is still a kitten, as it helps to form good habits. Don't forget to brush the stomach and under the neck area. Most cats actually love this. Your cat can be brushed every two to three weeks to remove dead hair. Do not brush too much, as cats produce oil through their hair to cover the coat and keep it healthy. Too much brushing can stimulate these oils in excess. Make sure you clean the brush after each brushing. 11. Living with a Burmila cat. Burmillas are good climbers and jumpers, and should have cat trees and perches. The Burmila is a sturdy, stocky cat and you might have to watch her weight carefully, particularly if she does not get enough exercise. Modify her nutrition if you need to do so. While Burmillas are placid cats, they also love their daily playtime. They love being adored by their parents and having their stomach rubbed and being petted. A daily petting session is a must for any Burmila. The Burmila must be brushed daily to remove the loose and dead hairs from the coat. The brushing can be incorporated with her playtime. Burmila cat is affectionate and has a cool temperament. This cat is social and suitable for families with kids and dogs. If you cannot devote enough time to your pet, this is not the right breed for you. If you enjoyed this video, kindly press the like button. Also don't forget to subscribe with notifications on, so that you don't miss out on videos like this. Thank you for watching.


Yeah, sorry. Hey, Paris, thanks so much for joining us today on this recorded Zoom session. I'm more so glad that you were able to join us to hear a little bit more about digital citizenship and confidentiality. All right, so I'm joined today by JC Palmer and she is a tech integrationist here. JC, you want to say a few words? Yes. Hello. Thanks, Steph, for inviting me and hello, Paris. It's fun to be back with all of you with another tech topic. So I look forward to sharing some digital citizenship ideas today. And I moved our little control panel bar so that you could see our emails on here. I think you all know me, Steph Lundgren. We've been together lots of times and I love the days when I get to work with Paris. And I think, you know, I'm going to hit the next slide and JC is going to start talking about digital citizenship, but I think that's a just a name in itself that sometimes leads to some confusion. So what does that mean? Yes, thank you. And thanks for pointing that out that digital citizenship is really just about who we are online or in any of the platforms, social media, it may be or it might be some of the work that we help our students do online and just how we can be good citizens in the digital world as well. So digital footprint is what is another way to think of it and that just like when we step outside in this cold weather and we're walking through the snow and we're going to inevitably leave a footprint as we go through the snow, it's kind of like when what we're doing online, it's all leaving a footprint. So it's all that information that's online, whether we intend to leave a footprint or not. And there's a lot of information that gets stored in the interwebs about our activity online. And so knowing how to carefully and appropriately navigate the digital world, I think is our first step, especially when we're working with young people and helping them navigate the digital world. So yeah, I've made a personal decision that everything I post will be positive. Just because of that digital footprint, you can't ever get rid of it. Somebody could screenshot it, somebody, whatever. So the minute that I'm tempted to vent on Facebook or somewhere like that, I stop myself and say what I'm about to put out there is not more beautiful than the silence. So it's not going there. That's great. Yeah. And before we go on, that kind of reminds me of an analogy I heard about how when we help students learn to drive or like our kids are learning to drive, we first start with like a school permit or a learner's permit and we help them practice some of the skills before we just give them a car and say, here, go have fun. And so that's kind of like what we need to be thinking about when we have these computers or phones or any of the internet sites and all the tech that is inevitably in a great part of our life nowadays. It's like we want to help guide and help them without quote, quote, learner's permit and help them practice some good practices online so that when they are able to be turned loose and freely navigating sites or making decisions on what to do online, they're prepared to make good choices just like they'd be a good driver, just hope and intent. Yeah. And just to model it too, right? You know, like we're going to help them learn that through the things that they do at school, but also we don't want them turning around and seeing the things we do at night or say at night and have it be a real contradiction, right? That's a great point. Yes. Yes. So let's get into thinking about what our story does tell about us. So if we were to think about all of our own personal social media accounts or the emails we've sent or the podcast we've listened to or the YouTube videos we've watched or, you know, anything that we're doing in the digital world is part of our digital footprint. And we'll talk about today some of the some dos and don'ts when it comes to using all of these different online opportunities. But as we get into it, just take a minute to consider what our own individual story might look like if somebody revealed all that and what we might want it to look like or how we could take action to make it the best possible. So, okay, so our first tip. So do remember that employers search for you. So whether we are just newly hired or whether we've been in the role for a long time, it's common practice for those employers to go to Google and search their employees, whether in a job application situation or just from time to time to keep kind of keep tabs on behaviors and whatnot. So it's just maybe a good reminder that we wouldn't want to share anything that we, you know, we wouldn't want to land in the hands of an employer, for instance. And I think, go ahead. Well, I just think in the education world, it's even a step different. We are held to a different standard of than the standard employee, because we work with kids and because families see that. And so it's even more sensitive for I'm just thinking about pictures in different situations, the items in our pictures, whether it be alcohol or something like that, that we have to be really careful about. Yeah, that's a good point, not just employers, but parents or community members are searching us as educational employees. So yeah, yeah. Thanks. We do though, with all the talk of like worries of being online, we do want to in fact have an online presence. So we don't want to just go out and delete everything or close all of our accounts, like especially before an interview or when you're preparing to clean things up. In fact, I was on a call with a social media company or like a webinar and they were describing that they wouldn't hire someone who didn't have any trace of an online presence because it was kind of a red flag like, what got deleted or why aren't they online? Or, you know, who is this person if they didn't have anything? So it is important or fine acceptable grade to have some type of digital footprint with a history of things on there. So not to encourage everybody to go close down accounts and whatnot. Well, JC, so my question is then what do you recommend for people like, can you change your privacy settings so that only your friends see your social media accounts and maybe the kids or we're moving in that direction? Yeah, that's a good point. And that's one of our upcoming tips too is like to take advantage of those privacy settings. And all right, sorry about that. We'll come back to that. That's a good thought. Sure. Yes. Okay. So we do want to act online as we would in person. So if we're not going to say mean words in cyber bully bully somebody in person, we don't or overshare say things you wouldn't typically reveal. We don't want to do that online either. So same with visiting places that you wouldn't in person, maybe you wouldn't do that online as well. And just being aware that even though it's behind a screen or behind a phone, it is still very representative of the character potentially of the person. So just keep in mind that we want to help our students and ourselves to remember who we are online should correlate with who we are in real life person too. Yeah. So I'm thinking about some scenarios for Paris like maybe you are friends with high school students that you that you work with and you see some of them make rude comments to each other online. Should you fire back at them right there and comment back anything or would you leave that to a discussion at school? I think I would leave it to a discussion at school or tell some teachers that I work with or the principal, maybe some things that you're seeing, maybe the guidance counselor. And even not just the kids online, but maybe parents online, maybe parents are commenting about school. This has been really hard for me before. I've seen a comment that a parent made about some of my colleagues once. It was so hard for me not to say anything back to defend my colleagues, but I knew that the right thing to do was to live that alone, not add fuel to the fire and address it through our school systems if the administration wanted to have a meeting with that parent to address their concerns they could, but yeah. Yeah, the keyboard warriors, it sometimes seems easier to stand up or step in online, but really it can really escalate situations so really evaluate when it's appropriate. So that's good. And I think you kind of said this before too, but don't say anything that you wouldn't say to their face, right? Yeah. And use the kind of professional language that we would use to someone who's standing in our school with us. Yes, that's great. And that is along the lines of the same concept here, post high quality content. So profanity, nudity or content that represents somebody that you wouldn't want to be, avoid that. So that's not in a sense like our online digital life is, even when we do have certain privacy settings adjusted, it can become so public, so quickly. So just be really aware of how we and what we share online. So I think that's a good tip for all of us, but also, you know, these are tips for us to follow, but also for us to teach kids about. And wow, I think this is something that we really have to teach our kids in the, you know, Snapchat and that those pictures disappear. Somebody can screenshot that really quickly and have a record of it. So I think. Yeah, since I heard it, I'm sorry. I heard a lawyer describe in a phone call regarding like online management. And they said, like some kids just quite literally need told, do not take a nude picture and do not share a nude picture. And you know, you think it's kind of common sense in some regard to not be acting in that way. But we also need to realize like point blankly, we just need to teach some of those concepts. So. And don't be afraid to say it to them. Yes. They're much worse consequences than you saying that to a kid, right?  So, yep. Yeah. Remember, the deleting doesn't mean it's gone. It's kind of been said already, but we can't assume that once it's deleted, it's gone forever. In fact, there are companies out there now that are created to specifically find resources or items that have been deleted. So there's entire like IT software and company consulting companies that you can hire to do some of this like back in work to find out information that's previously been deleted. So, you know, hopefully we're never in situations of that nature, but just know that even delete doesn't mean it's gone or like other than screenshots, you know, there's taking pictures of something. And yeah, there's just enough situations that we hope that we wouldn't put anything out there that we don't want to ever be seen. Yep. Prevention is the key, right? Yes. Okay. Do use secure passwords. So this is actually a pretty significant part of keeping our digital footprint secure. So when at the very beginning, we talked about it might be our actions that intentionally create our digital footprint, or it could be the actions of others. And we just want to take all precautions or appropriate steps to keep our digital citizenship life in order. And that starts with secure passwords on all types of accounts. So if it's very simple, it would be easy to guess because it's got identifiable information in it like your name or maybe a straightforward birthday or something that, you know, if somebody was trying to hack you, would they guess it because they already know something about you? Maybe try to use a little bit more complex password. And I know that there's a lot of discussion now on two-step verification. So if any of those apps prompt you to set up two steps to sign in, I know a lot of banking accounts will require that now. And that's actually a great best practice just to keep your information secure so that people can't get into your whether it is, you know, banking apps or even just your school account or your email or your social media creating a system that is a very complex password. So that's like some capital letters, some lowercase letters, some numbers, some symbols, you know, really mix it up so that you can keep track. And another tip on using secure passwords, try not to use the same password on everything. Maybe a slight variation of it so that if somebody did get into your account, they wouldn't be able to get into every single account. Yeah, I, you know, there was a funny bulletin board I saw several years ago was that passwords are like underwear. Don't show them to anybody and change them often. I love it. I love it. That is a great analogy. Yeah, it's a cute little bulletin board. Cool. Okay, remember that off-campus speech can have school consequences. So this is for students too. So even if we were sharing something, especially obviously if it's illegal, we don't want to be doing or sharing any of that, but if you're, if we are saying something, even if we're not on the clock per se, if we're off-campus, if it's on the weekend, if it does create a substantial disruption to school per the lawyer's phone call, it can still have school consequences. So if there's like a member of a team or a teacher on the weekend or whatnot and they say something in it, you know, it's significantly disrupts the day of school that can still have punishments. So just because we are away from the building or not on the clock, we have to remember what we're doing online still matters. Yeah, so this is important for adults and the kids, right? I mean, like kids making threats to the school, I think we've seen situations like that where they see a threatening post to the school and that can have some consequences. So I just think, yeah, modeling this for kids and reiterating it, telling them don't just think, oh, they'll pick it up on their own. Just like you told them, we have to tell the kids this. Yes, yeah. Okay, remember the algorithms know you. So the artificial intelligence that's built into like social media, for example, is going to naturally show you more of what you click on and what you watch. So that is, it like remembers and learns. So just like or unlike a human person to remember everything about you and then show you like the next video that you would like, that would take me a lot of work, but the computer will like you watch one YouTube video, it's going to naturally like prompt you to watch another one of similar content because it knows you liked and watch that one, which is why like if one person pulls up their Facebook, they might see a lot of pictures of like cute dogs and cats and then another person pulls up Facebook and they don't see one single cat or dog on there. It's not because of it's because the one person love looking at cat and dog pictures. So it keeps showing than that.  And so that's what his Facebook will feed him. So just remember that those algorithms do matter. And if you start seeing a lot of content that you don't like, or if you've gotten yourself in a situation where it's showing you things that are inappropriate, or you wouldn't want to continue to look at or see quit stopping on them, even like a three second pause when you're scrolling certain social medias is like indication that you show interest. So scroll past it quickly to, you know, change that algorithm. And this is what, yeah, what you search for on Google, right? Yeah. And that's why it's like, Oh, the computer's always listening to me, right? That because these ads pop up after you've been looking at stuff like that. So you really have to think about your device too. And if you have a school device, you know, you need to be careful sites you go to, what's get searched, because that can go be searched and they can look through your cash and things like that and see where you've been. And even being on this, like a school's Wi Fi network or any Wi Fi network at a coffee shop, just be careful because those sites that are visited are trackable from the IT world. So yeah. Okay, so on a positive note, though, remember that some academic sources are valuable positive footprints too. So we don't want to underestimate the powerfulness of some of those digital learning projects that we are helping our students do, like, for example, in high school. So a lot of things we're talking about have been social media. But when we are creating, say, a Google slideshow or a Canva flyer, or we're putting together a website for a class, or we are playing, creating like a digital paper online, those are all great, valuable footprint digital footprint resources for us to have. So digital footprints, digital citizenship can kind of come along with the horror stories. But it's also good to remember that like, there's a lot of good that's happening online, and a lot of ways to demonstrate all the good that we have to offer through like academic projects. I love that positive thought. Yay. Share appropriately, we've kind of talked about this, it can be files or pictures, or, you know, if you have to think to yourself, I don't know if I'd want others to see this, or I don't, but I don't want this to get out, maybe don't share it at all in the first place, because you just never know. I think even, I think about some politics too, and how, you know, some of the posts these days are pretty harsh. Yeah. Boy, that, you know, thinking about, again, your employer seeing that, is that what you want your footprint to be, or I don't know. So that's a touchy one. Careful. Do search yourself. So we don't want to just turn a blind eye to what is out there already, or what might be out there. So every once in a while, Google search yourself. And another tip is to search your name first and last name, and then add like the name of the town you live in, or add the place that you've worked, or add like a detail about yourself, and that can bring up different articles or different things when you add a little bit more to the Google search. So every once in a while, just I would encourage you to try it and see what is out there that's visible to the public. Do use a privacy setting. So this is what Steph was alluding to earlier. So we don't want to intentionally let others negatively impact our footprint. So just know that like almost every app out there is going to have some sort of privacy setting, where like, for example, Facebook, maybe we make it turned off where others can't post pictures of us onto our Facebook wall. That way, if somebody were to share something that you would deem inappropriate, or just we wouldn't want it out there, they're not actually able to directly impact your account. So that's one example. But right. There's other privacy settings too. Well, and I think just the privacy of I'm not going to friend kids. Yeah, that's a good point. Yes. Yeah. So when I taught in the school setting, I would tell kids I couldn't be their friend until they graduated. And I never friend kids or my old students usually, I let them friend me if they feel like it's appropriate. And you can be really careful about the parents too. And in our small towns, that's a little bit harder because their parents are your neighbors and things like that. But just one more reason to be really positive online. Yes, that's thanks for sharing that. That's a good point. This slide is kind of remind you that that you might have more questions as we've talked or things might be popping up as you're thinking about long term impacts of some of the situations online. Or if you have a student come to you when you talk about this sort of thing and they realize they're in a world of trouble or they've done something XYZ. Just know that reach out if you would like help or talking through a situation or need help with settings or something that would help create the best digital footprint possible. So we're here to help you. Yeah, that's our job at the issue to serve our schools and the people that work there. Yes. Yeah, so as we're wrapping up this little portion of our call today, I appreciate you thinking through digital citizenship. What is one step that you could take to improve your footprint? We've talked about, you know, passwords and sharing and some of the settings and just best practices when we are working with students and when we're online or academically. So I would invite you to consider like, okay, what's one thing I do need to do better on and keep that in mind going forward. Great. So you're welcome to reach out to us anytime like we just said, but we're going to jump out to this Common Sense Media website. So this is a site that does have a lot of information on it. But in particular, when you go right to commonsense.org or common sense media, you can Google it. There will be this button down on the left here that says digital citizenship. And I had to click on four educators first to get that up. But as parents, there's a great, there's so many great resources here. So I'll click on digital citizenship though. Yeah, thanks. This site just to briefly scratch the surface on what some of it has. Here we're talking about helping students. If this comes up or if you're talking to a teacher and want to incorporate some more lessons to help them practice, you can go right, like she clicked digital citizenship, and then you might choose which grade level you're working with. And then there are pre made lessons that can teach a specific topic about digital citizenship, such as like cyberbullying, for example, or more about six or eight. Here's cyberbullying, right there. Yeah. And then within those, then there are each of those bolded ones, like it shows like they're 15 minutes. And there's sometimes there's videos, there's worksheets, there's like a little mini lesson plans, very specific objectives. So this is nice if you'll also help older students facilitate an activity with younger students. They could use some of this pre made information here. And it's just kind of a might have to be signed in. So that's okay for now, although you it's a free it's a free sign in. Don't don't hesitate to do that. And sure, I just say get online and start searching. There's so much here for you. Cool. Yeah, thank you. I just, yeah, I wanted to just point that side out. I think I showed it back in August when we were all together in Neely, but I bring it to your attention again if this topic is something you'd like to further explore with within your schools. Thank you, Steph, though, for the opportunity here to share more about it. And I'm looking forward to hearing a little more on some of your ideas with confidentiality. Hey, we always love having JC come on and share some of these ideas. So thanks, JC. And JC's out in schools all the time. Like I hardly see that woman. So maybe she's in your school and you can catch her when she's there to to ask a few questions about digital citizenship or other tech tips. So thank you. Yeah, I actually meant to say that. And so I appreciate you. Well, not the I appreciate the kind words, but I meant to say that when I am out in schools, sometimes it's there to help, you know, teachers, but I'm there for everybody. So Paris, if you see me wandering in your building, you're more than welcome to talk about tech stuff. Thanks. That's great. And we just wanted to comment on a little one of our para skills or para topics to always remember. And that's on confidentiality. And so I thought that paired really well with digital citizenship as well. So first of all, there is an actual law in our country called FERPA or Family Educational Rights Privacy Act that says that we can't give out information about students, especially, you know, if you're in charge of entering any data on the computer or maybe making copies or something like that of test scores or helping teacher with some report cards or something like that, we would never want to give out the information there. And a lot of you are also special education pairs. And if you know some details in a student's IEP or 504 plan, we would not want to share those details because, you know, they're really they're private, they are sensitive. And you can even think about it like this, you wouldn't want to share it with every staff member. It's just information for the staff members who need it. Okay, so if a student has a health concern, like they have a peanut allergy or something like that. And that's important that a lot of people know about if they're going to be supervising the lunch room or something like that. We need to know about those health concerns. That is one to share a little bit more broadly. But if we know a detail about an accommodation on somebody's IEP, or maybe some past abuse, a student has suffered or a family situation that they're going through, that is something that we would not share out. It's very sensitive and it only gets shared with the people who need it. All right, so just think about your communication, all the communication that you do throughout the day, the year. We need to watch what we say about school, kids, families, right? Like we said, we live in small towns. The other the parents at school are oftentimes your neighbors and friends. And they might ask you questions, right? What's been going on? I heard that kids, parents did this, that and the other thing or, oh, I heard that kid's just a terror in your classroom. That is not something to ever comment on. What happens in school or how about this?  What happened with the other kid? Again, that's something to just say, hey, I just can't comment about school stuff. My job depends on me being, you know, not commenting. So please call the teacher. Please call the principal. Yeah, I think having your go-to phrase ready in those situations, because you can't always predict when somebody is going to approach you with those type of questions. So just have a phrase in mind when you get approached with an inappropriate question. Like what's your go-to phrase? Like you just said stuff like that. Oh, that's something I just really can't talk about. Yeah. Or feel free to call the school for more information. I just or, you know, or yeah. It's hard to say that to your good friends. Right. It is. But they'll understand it. They're your good friends. They'll understand. But I think just like we tell teenagers, blame it on the parents, right? Like my parents won't let me do that. Oh, my parents will kill me. That kind of thing. Just the same way. Oh, we've been told at school we can't comment. I'm going to need you to ask a teacher about that. Yeah. Yeah. I think that communication too, when we start to think about some of those really scary situations like school safety, people start talking, right?  They're scared. Parents are scared or community members are scared when they hear that there's been a threat to a school or something. It is best that you let all communication about those situations come directly from the office and just say, you know, really the principals informing the public on that. And that's where we'll leave it or you know, we've gone through lots of scenarios in the past trainings with with Paris. But those are some of the things that I think pop up that we just have to take ourselves out of it. And, you know, each of you might have kids at school, but if you're a school employee, you have to wear that hat and not the parent hat when you communicate with the public. That's a good point.  Your child has been checked at home, that kind of thing, but we would never reveal a name on that. Okay. But then online. So JC talked about this a lot, but just keep it positive. Don't talk about details at school.  The kids were absolutely crazy at school. I'm counting down the days till summer break. That just doesn't shine the school in a positive light. And, you know, it's best to not say that if you can not say that it was a terrible day. But say something positive to like, wow, you know, evening's here and I'm so happy to be in my calm home, whatever it may be. Turn it around. Flip that thought. We played that game at summer training. Flip that thought. In a way, we really are like ambassadors of the school. We're here to, you know, support each other and we want to create an environment that's safe. And part of being safe is knowing that we can rest easy with what happens in the building. So, yeah, creating that like trust amongst everyone that we can rely on each other to only communicate appropriately, whether in person or online. Yeah. And, you know, I think we mentioned that whole, you know, don't get involved in the banter that goes back and forth online sometimes. And sometimes that's in a protective nature of the school. Like you see someone bash the school and so you want to support them. That's not how it happened. It happened like this. Well, now we've just given away some of those details that just shouldn't be shared out. So, blame it on your principal, blame it on the teachers, right? Send it right to them and they'll be happy to handle that for you as Paris. So, all right. And just remember, all of our resources are always available online. So it's bit.ly slash Paris of ESU 8. That's a shortener that gets you there a little bit easier. If you ever have trouble getting there through that shortener at school, just let me know. I can send you a longer link to get there as well. It's available on our ESU 8 page. So, yeah. So you can click on this training there and watch this video. You probably got there today to see it through this link. But we have all of our past trainings stored there as well. So if you're a newer para and you haven't been here in the past six years that we've been doing these trainings, you could go look for another topic that maybe is coming up and is really pertinent to you right now. And peace out, guys. We'll see you in April. April 4th, we'll talk about ELL supports with Claire, Kate here on our staff. She works a lot with that. So I think there'll be valuable tips for you there as we work with a diverse population in our area. So, Steph, it's such a gift to have you compile all these resources over time onto that site. You've done such a nice job putting together quality opportunities for Paris and everyone to take advantage of. So thank you for all of your work. Well, thanks, JC. And I get by with a little help from my friends. So thanks to everybody willing to join in and share topics. Paris, that's just another reminder too. If you ever have something you want to know more about, shoot it my way. And I'd love to hit that topic through the months or in August. Alrighty. So thank you so much. Paris, you make school a better place. You make it successful. You make kids successful. And I know as a teacher, I never would have gotten by without you. So keep doing what you're doing and loving those kids. And thanks so much. Thanks to Canva for this nice little design too. So we'll see you all next time. Thank you. See you.


As far as the characteristics needed to be an entrepreneur, I think one of the most important is having grit. It's going to be a lot of setbacks. There are going to be things that don't work out the way they were planned. You're going to be knocked down several times. Key is to get up one more time than you've been knocked down.


For me, it was a great journey because I've been we all are trying to figure out and the changing world and how advertising is changing. How the new tools are kind of becoming a part of advertising which were not there before and to understand them to learn them to unlearn a lot of things from the past. I think today's session was a lot of that for me because coming from a traditional advertising background, having spent one and a half years with the new mediums of advertising post media monks. Today having to speak on that on subjects like that, which is very close to me, which is the fact that how do you make storytelling from mass to me? How do we make stories a lot more hyper personal, hyper contextual and to speak on a subject like that was exciting as well as challenging and I hope I did a good job of that. In terms of, see, I'd say that I would not be able to answer the trend because I'm not new following them, but I think what needs how. Using programmatic brands can have a lot more relevant conversation with their audience relevant and contextual because you know the context of the conversation. I think most of the time we have we the conversation is always from the brand. I think what tools like programmatic gathering does is it kind of makes the conversation happening to a person when you know the person's mindset and immediate mindset. So it the constant can become a lot more relevant post this that's number one, which to me is a big plus. Number two, what programmatic advertising can do is in terms of the ROI can be really, really good because every penny that investing in marketing advertising. You know, you have a real time data to kind of give you a clear picture of you can market you can actually have a good market to that's number two, which is great. Thirdly, I would say with tools like AI and with tools like machine learning, using the newest tools, I think creating content also is becoming. At least else when the world is becoming a part of advertising, I think it's high times that becomes a part of India as well as when the world in media monks. We are creating content which are using AI tools and using programmatic because it's a good marriage of the two. And finally actually throwing content to our audiences, which they can relate to connect to and which makes a lot of sense to them to me that third point is a big plus for the tool like programmatic advertising.