Hello and welcome to day three of my series on the Baja Divide Cape Loop. This is a 225 mile journey around the southern tip of the beautiful Baja Peninsula. I started this adventure by heading south out of Los Barriles, making my way along the beautiful coastline in Cabo Pulmo National Park. I've met some awesome people, pushed through some sand and made my way into the mountains. If you'd like to check out some of my previous adventures on the Baja Divide, I will link them down below. I've got my hood on. It's pretty chilly and I just checked the weather and it says there's a cold front coming in, which cold for here is much different than cold in Colorado, but it's still a little chilly. Oh, I slept so well. When you work hard all day, you definitely fall asleep really quickly. Time to have a great day, but first I have to go through all of that sand. It is time, my friends, for my first Nutella tortilla, a French crepe, and a little bit of this. Thank you, nice, soft, sandy ground for a beautiful place to sleep right beneath this big mountain where I'm headed today. Oh, leg is up and over the bike and it's time to ride through some deep sand and see how far we get. That's about it. Straight to pushing. It's going to be a pushing morning. A lot of starting and stopping here. Let's go, come on. Time to find the path of least resistance, but it's mostly just resistance out here. No crashes, no flaties, no whammies, but probably a lot of sandies and I can't do much about that. As always, I try to find the edges. That's where the hard dirt is, but then every now and then you need to go through the middle. It just kind of spins you out. This is going to be a good warm-up today. I've only been riding for a minute and a half. So this section, I'm going to call it Power Line in honor of the Leadville 100, is not a road. Cars don't travel on this, so I'm guessing it's some sort of a path between ranches or something. Lots of cow poop and hoof prints out here, and it is sandy, but at least there are no vehicles at all. And it's pretty overgrown, so you don't want to swipe by one of these guys. There's some serious thorns on that bad boy. This is bringing back memories of my very first ride on the divide in 2017. Let's try this again. Nope. Not even worth it. I don't think it's worth the energy expenditure to spin around. It's just going to be a morning walk. This is just a test in patience. There's a lesson in everything. Go slow and enjoy it as much as you can. You don't have to force yourself to be happy, but hey, you know what? It's Monday morning. I'm not sitting in an office. I'm out here in Baja pushing my bike. It's a beautiful day. That's not that bad, you know? Get pedaling. You can do it. Oh, boy. I knew what I was getting into when I came to Baja. A lot of sand. So I just took out my phone and opened up Ride with GPS to get a little bit more detail of what's going on here. I could have easily stayed on this highway here and take it a left up here rather than get stuck in all this nonsense. It's moments like this on these types of rides when people put these routes together. I'm like, why didn't you just put everybody on the road? I understand they're trying to maximize dirt, but this stretch here is nonsense. It's only like four miles total here. I could have just put everybody up there, bum, and bypassed all this. But I guess this is all part of the experience. Good morning, Shadow. How you doing today? Yes, my first win of the day. I found some hard ground. I don't know how long it's going to last, but I'm very happy right now because I can actually pedal. It's the little things. Little things in life. Uh-oh. Here's some bones of some bike packers that got stuck out here in the sand. That might be a little morbid, I'm sorry, but yeah, it's a bunch of bones right there. Whoo! Getting close, getting close. I'm able to ride this section, which is nice. Oh, there's the road! I did it! Yes! All right, that might have been the slowest three and a half miles on a bike. Really wasn't on my bike much. You know, some people wake up in the morning and take their dogs for a walk. I took my beautiful Priority 600X for a walk. Future Baja Dividers, if you want to skip that, just take the road.  But as I was struggling through that, I thought, you know what, Ryan, this is okay. It's a forced slowdown, where I just have to be extremely present in the moment. And it allowed me the chance to think about some things that are swirling through my mind right now. Not that I don't have time to think about that when I'm on my bike, but pushing through that sand just made me focus a little bit more. So I'm grateful for it, even though it took a long time and it was a little frustrating. And now we'll see what this road is like. Hopefully it's not as sandy. Good morning, cows! Buenos dias, vacas! Well, this is very nice and smooth, and these are the rewards of a little bit of struggle. And you know, I was just thinking back to 2017 when I first came down here and how mad I would get at the sandy sections. And I would just fight it and force it, you know. And I think I've matured a bit since then. You know, it's all part of the experience.  And for me, doing hard things, pushing through hard moments really makes you feel good on the other end. When you go on an adventure, it's not supposed to be easy. It's supposed to be a little bit hard. So now when I hit that stuff, I kind of embrace it in a way that I never did before. And I'm thankful for that. Difficult moments in life are always the ones that teach me the most about myself. And it gives me an opportunity to practice just some mindfulness and patience and problem-solving. And I'm grateful for, hopefully every day, learning a little bit more about myself and how to navigate this world and navigate life and relationships now that I'm 45, I'm feeling pretty darn good. Whoa, there's a car. I didn't expect that. Hello. There's probably some ranchos up here. Anyway, I think the lessons of pushing your bike through sand can be applied to anything in life. Really. Just slow down, embrace it, figure out a way to learn something from it, and keep moving forward always, and you should be pretty good. At least that's been my formula. You know what I'm excited about right now, the quesadillas from last night. Mmm, they've warmed up nicely. Here's my ascent. Looks a little ascenty. Already climbed quite a bit. I came from that valley. Oh boy, I am so happy right now. I want to know why. Look what's behind me. Water. Agua. I had heard that it was a wet winter here and that the mountains might have water. And I'm really happy to see this. I am disgusting. I have hot sauce all over my shirt and sweat marks and it's time to cool off and jump in. Oh, I'm so happy. It's freezing cold. Oh my God. It's freezing cold, actually. But I will take it. Yes. The Agua is vida. Water is life. And I just woke up. I was all sticky and gross last night sleeping and as you can see, the water is crystal clear. I even saw some tadpoles in here. And in case you're wondering, yes, I took off my chamois first. I don't want those to be all wet. Thank you, awesome desert oasis for the cool down and the laundry service. I feel a million times better. Hello cows. Hello. Some nice horns. They always look at me funny like, what is this guy going to do? That's how I feel about the cows, too. I'm making my way up and up and up, but it's a pretty mild grade so far. Yesterday was much steeper when I ran into hills, but today I can kind of just get in my groove and grind on up. It's the Pacific Ocean. Does this mean that it's downhill all the way? There's only one way to find out. We've got some technical riding here. I'm going to get off here. There's no use in breaking my bike or my body when you're far away from home. This side of the mountain is way steeper than the other side. Right now I'm on a nice smooth patch, but there are lots of technical sections. So as a rule of thumb when I'm on a bikepacking adventure, usually in the middle of nowhere, far away from services, I don't go nearly as fast downhill as I would if I were home because of obvious reasons. I don't want to hurt myself or my bike way out here. Hold on. Speaking of being careful, give me a second here. Oh, catch back up. Ah, okay, okay, okay. All right. Back to that lesson. I don't take big risks when I'm bikepacking because it's just not worth it.  Check it out. It's just going to do its magic in there, kill all the bacteria, although this water is probably very clean. It's coming straight from the mountain, and there's not a whole lot of action up there in terms of civilization. Maybe some cows, but I just really wanted to try the water. I have plenty, but I just want to try this mountain water. Viva Mexico. I like riding through the water. It cools off my feet. I think I have hit the afternoon doldrums. It is 245. I've only gone 28 miles. So that's because of the first three or four were so slow, but I'm far away from the mountains as you can see. They're back there now, and the sun is high in the sky, kind of hot. I got my head down and I'm just charging, moving forward. I might ride for another hour, hour and a half, see where that gets me. Check this out. A little desert Christmas decoration. I saw this from a ways off. I was wondering what the heck it was. So I saw these palm trees off from a distance away, and palm trees usually mean water. And I found a little bit of water. I'm going to follow down here and see if there's actually a pool, but if not, still good. I'm probably going to camp here. This is nice. It's definitely a nice beach to camp on. I don't think it's going to flood tonight. Usually the first thing I do when I get to camp is I set it all up. So it's out of the way. And then I go cruise around. And then the second thing I do is I start charging batteries with my power bank. I get all these things topped off so I can make pretty videos for you.  My shins always get covered in dust and dirt, and it just feels nicer to sleep when your skin isn't sticky. And I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to walk barefoot in Baja. Usually there's a thousand different plants that want to impale you, but not here. Look at this spot. This is luxurious. And you know what it's time for? Frijole! Oh yeah, it looks gross. But it's not. Yum-yum. Look at all that good protein and carbs. Ta-da! Look at that. Now it's happy hour. Yum-yum-yum. Yum-yum-yum. Yum-yum-yum. Yum-yum-yum. Sometimes I'm just so happy to eat beans. I stand up and I dance a little bit, so I'm happy. I squeeze out the very last bits of beans in every bag. No bean left behind. Look at this. Beachside resort. You know, I'm not far from Cabo San Lucas, and there's a lot of beachside resorts. Maybe 20 or 30 miles away from me right now, and I feel like I'm sharing in their joy, although mine is not as luxurious. This is my style right here. I'm feeling good. Today was a great day. I really enjoyed it. It was beautiful going through the mountains. I loved seeing the water. And I feel like I'm getting back in my groove, you know. The first couple of days I was relearning how to do everything and just getting comfortable with this. And I feel like I'm getting it back, which is nice.  Don't you worry. I'm not going to stop doing YouTube anytime soon. I spent seven years building up this channel up to a point where I can make a living doing it. I'm not going to bail on it now. They're just more overarching questions of what type of content am I going to continue making and all those types of things. You know, because I want to continue evolving as a creator, as a storyteller. So, you know, it's funny. You ride all day long here and you go, today I went like 35 miles. You just don't put on big miles here in Baja. You know, compare that to Sweden where I was doing, you know, easily 80 to 100 miles a day. That's the difference with pavement or just gravel roads. Baja is slow-moving.  That's the whole point. From day one when I started a public access show in Boulder, Colorado in 2006 on Channel 54. Hello and welcome to another fun and exciting edition of Out There. My name is Ryan. I love life and I'm here to share all of my adventures with you. The goal was always to show adventures. In that case, Boulder adventures, nearby adventures, and inspire you to go out and challenge yourself. And I hope these videos are doing that because that is the goal. The main goal. La meta. All right. Buenos nachos. Nachos. Nachos. Nachos.  Since it is the holiday season, make sure to be extra nice to everyone. Oh yeah.  Now it's your turn to get out there. Now get off your couch. That one right there. Yep. That one. And come out and play. The weather is beautiful. What's up, amigos and amigas? I'm here to talk about some new merchandise. Check out this shirt. It's so soft. Get out there, team dozer. Look at that design on the back. If you want this shirt, it is for sale right now for a limited time on the priority website. I will link it down below. As a reminder, we don't make any money off of the sales of the merchandise. Everything that we create, we donate to wonderful nonprofits doing good things in the world of cycling. All of the money from this shirt is going to the Dream Team in Iowa that gets young kids on bikes and then they complete rag brie at the end of their program. It's super cool. This shirt is made in the USA. It is organic cotton. That's why the price of the shirt is a little more than the cheap stuff you see in most stores. It's really important for me to make shirts that are paying people a living wage and are as good for the environment as they can be. That's why these are 40 bucks, but remember the money goes toward a good cause. Speaking of another good cause, check out these socks. You've seen them in my videos now. These are my Olay socks. They are so cool on the foot of the sock. It says get out there. I think even up here, if you roll it down, it says dozer. These socks are also made in the USA. They are Merino wool. They don't stink like a lot of that plastic-y, sporty-type clothing. These are for sale now. I will also link them down below. They are made by an awesome company here in Colorado called Point 6. As long as we're talking about that stuff, let's talk about my book. A lot of you have already bought this, but if you haven't, it is now available in e-book format. If you still want the real book, that is still available. This was printed in Boulder, Colorado in the most eco-friendly way possible. All of the ink in the book is algae-based non-toxic ink. It's really important to me to create products that are good for the humans who make them and good for the environment. And of course, good for you as well. So that was a lot of talking about merch. Are you still with me? Are you still there? If you want to buy it, I will link them down below. Really appreciate your support and all the non-profits appreciate your support as well. Now it's time, as I always say, to get out there.


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Live from the Wynn Hotel in Las Vegas, it's theCUBE. Covering Magento Imagine 2018. Brought to you by Magento. Hey, welcome back to theCUBE. We are continuing our coverage live from the Wynn Las Vegas at Magento Imagine 2018. We've had a really exciting day, talking about commerce and how it's limitless and changing dramatically. Joining me next is Suturita Kodali, the vice president and principal analyst at Forrester. Suturita, it's great to have you on theCUBE. Thanks for having me, Lisa. So commerce is limitless. We've been hearing this thematically all day. You primarily are working with retailers on their digital strategies. What, and you've been doing this for a long time. Let's talk about the evolution that you've seen in the retail space with everybody expecting to have access to whatever they want to buy in their pockets. Right, right, right. I would say, so I've been working in the retail industry for the last two decades. I've been an analyst for the last 10 plus years. So I've really seen a number of changes. And if I had to just summarize the biggest changes, one is just the inventory across different retail channels. So that's definitely been a huge, huge one. It's like, how do you order online but then fulfill the item from a physical store or fulfill the item from another store? So that's basically the digital transformation of retailers. Those are investments that companies like Walmart and Target have really been doubling down on and focusing on. The second big change is Amazon. And they single-handedly have transformed the retail industry. They have increased consumer expectations. And what Amazon's also done is reinvented retail as a business model because it is no longer about just selling product and being profitable, selling that product. Amazon actually is not profitable with a lot of the items that it sells. It makes money in other ways. And it is probably what I would describe as America's first retail conglomerate. And that becomes a really interesting question for other companies to compete. Do you have to become a retail conglomerate? And then the third big change is just brand selling direct to consumer. I remember when I started at Forrester, my very first project was with a large consumer electronics company that asked, well, should we even sell directly to consumers? There's channel conflict and issues with our distributors. And now that's not even a factor. It's sort of table stakes. You have to sell direct to consumer. And that's probably where we'll continue to see a lot of retail sales in the future. So the Amazon model, we expect to be able to get whatever we want, whenever we want it, have it shipped to us either at home or shipped to us so we can go pick it up in a store. It's really set the bar. In fact, they just announced the other day that 100 million Amazon Prime members. I know people that won't buy something if it's not available through Prime. But I think this morning, the gentleman that was on main stage from Amazon said, at least 50% of their sales are not products they sell. They're through all of the other retailers that are using Amazon as a channel, as part of their omni-channel strategy. If you think of a retailer from 20 years ago, how do they leverage your services and expertise and advice to become omni-channel? Because as today, you said essentially it's table stakes for companies to have to sell to consumers. Yeah, yeah. There are so many questions that really require, I call it like destroying the retail orthodoxies. And retail has historically been about buyers and merchandisers buying goods. There's the old expression in retail, you stack them high and watch them fly. And that is just where buyers would, like take a company like Toys R Us, they would basically take what Mattel and Hasbro told them to buy. They would buy a ton of it, put it in stores. And because there was less competition back in the 80s, consumers actually would buy that merchandise. And unfortunately, the change for retailers is that consumers have so much more choice now. There's so much more innovation. There are small entrepreneurs who are creating fabulous products. Consumer tastes have changed. And this old paradigm of Mattel and Hasbro or kind of fill in the blank with whatever vendors and suppliers pushing things is no longer relevant. So there was just an article in the journal today about how Hasbro's sales were down by double digits because Toys R Us is now going to go out of business. And so those are the kinds of things that retailers who did not adjust to those changes, they're the ones that really suffered. They don't find ways to develop new inventory. They don't find new channels for growth. And they don't protect their own, they don't build a moat around their customers like Amazon has done, or they don't find ways to source inventory creatively. That's where the problems are. You think that's more of a function of a legacy organization having so much technology that they don't know how to integrate it all together. What do you think are some of the forcing functions and old orthodoxies that companies that don't do it well are missing? Yeah, a lot of it is just in the old ways of doing business. So a lot of it is being heavily dependent, for instance, on buyers and merchandisers buying things. I mean, one of the biggest innovations that Amazon realized was that, look, you can sell things without actually owning the inventory. And that is their entire, what we call the third party marketplace. And that is just so simple. But if you were to ask a buyer at a major retailer, like a decade or two ago, look, why do you have to buy the inventory? Their response would be, well, you have to buy the inventory because that's just the way it is. And it's like, well, why, why?  And they never did, but it took Amazon to figure that out. And the great irony of why so many retailers continue to struggle is that Amazon has exposed the playbook on how to sell inventory without owning it. And so few retailers to this day, you know, have adopted that approach. And that's the great irony, I think, is that that's the most profitable part of Amazon's business is that third party marketplace. And every retailer I talk to is like, oh, it's really hard, we can't do that. But the part of Amazon's business that everyone is looking to imitate is their fast shipping, which is the most expensive part of their business. Amazon is only able to afford the fast free shipping because of the third party marketplace. Other retailers want to get the fast free shipping without the marketplace. And it just doesn't make any sense. And that's really the heart of the challenges is that they just don't think about alternative business models, they don't want to change the way that they've historically run their businesses. And some of this could mean that merchants are not as powerful in organizations. And maybe that's part of the pushback is that there could be a lot of people who lose jobs. I call the future will be like robo buyers and financial services, you have robo advisors. Why not robo planners in retail? So one of the keys then of eliminating some of the old orthodoxies for merchants is to be able to pivot and be flexible. But it has to start from where in an organization from like a digital strategy perspective, where do you help an organization not fall into the Toys R Us bucket? Yeah, I think a lot of it does have to start with merchandising and putting in some interesting digital tools to help merchants be more flexible. So you want to flex to supply and demand. And some of that comes with integrating marketplaces into your own experience. Some of it could be investing in 3D printers that could make things that are plastic or metals based on demand. That's something that I always wondered why Toys R Us didn't, for instance, make digit spinners on demand. Why did you have to get them with a six month lead time from China? It never made any sense. You can scale service. So use technology to match great store associates with a customer who may have a question. And you don't have to be in the same store. It can be a FaceTime call with somebody who is far away, but very few retailers do that. And finally, the last bit is really to look at new alternative business models and finding new ways of making money beyond just selling inventory. That's really key because there are so many opportunities when companies go on the channel of increasing, not just increasing sales and revenue, but also reducing attrition, making the buying process simple and seamless. Everybody wants one click, right? Super seamless, super fast and relevant. It's got to be something, if you're going to attract my business, you need to be able to offer something where you know me to a degree, know what it is I might have a propensity to buy. Absolutely, and that's the entire area of personalization and that personalization can be anything from a recommendation that I give you. It can be proactively pushing a recommendation.  It can be customization. One of Nike's most successful parts of their business is their Nike ID program, which allows you to customize shoes according to colors and different sort of embellishments that you may like. And that's exactly the kind of thing that more retailers need to be looking at. What are some of the trends maybe that a B2B organization might be able to leverage? Some of the conveniences that we have as consumers and we expect in terms of Magento, I was looking on their website the other day and a study that they've done, suggests 93% of B2B buyers want to be able to purchase online. So new business models, new revenue streams, but it really is a major shift to sales and marketing to be able to deliver this high velocity, low touch model. What are some of the things that a business, like a Magento, could learn from, say, a Nike with how they have built this successful omnichannel experience? Yeah, well, interestingly, I think one of the most important things to recognize is that every B2B buyer is also a B2C buyer. And their expectations are set by their experiences in B2C. So if you have everything from all of the information at your fingertips, all of that information is optimized for mobile devices, you have different ways to view that information. You have all of your loaded costs, like shipping or tax, or if there's cross-border, all of the information related to the time to ship, any customs and duties, all of that needs to be visible because in any experience that you have with, say, a site like Amazon, you're going to get that information. So the expectation is absolutely there to have it in any situation, whether it's B2B or whether it's buying components or kind of very long tail items. And that's basically the cost of doing business at this point, is that you have to deliver all of the information that the customer wants and needs, and if you don't, the customer is just going to opt to go purchase that product at whatever destination offers it, and somebody will. That's the challenge when you have 800,000 plus e-commerce sellers out there selling every product imaginable in the both B2B and B2C landscape. So on the data side, there's so much data out there that companies have any type of business. To be able to take advantage of that, I know that BI has so much potential, right? Are you hearing retailers start to embrace advanced analytics techniques, AI, machine learning? Where are they with starting to do that? I know some eyeglass companies have kind of like virtual reality, augmented reality type of apps where you can kind of try on a pair of frames. Where are you seeing advanced analytics start to be successful and help retailers to be able to target buyers that might say, oh, I can't try that on, no, I want to go somewhere where I can touch and feel it. Yeah, well, it's emerging still. I mean, retailers have a lot of data. I think they're trying to figure out where is it most useful, and one of the places where it is incredibly useful is in the back end with fraud management. So after retailers were forced to put in chip cards as a payment form, what you started to see was more of the fraud shifting to e-commerce. I just had like two credit cards that had to be shut off because of e-commerce fraud. But that is where you see the fraudsters going to. And what you see as a result of that is some innovators in that space, technology companies really leveraging machine learning, AI, other advanced data techniques to identify fraudulent transactions and to better help retailers eliminate or reduce the percent of transactions that have to then be charged back. So that's probably one of the most promising areas. There are others that are emerging. We're seeing more kind of visual recognition technologies. Hows, for instance, is excellent at that. If there is anything that you, and Pinterest too, there's a part of an image that you like. You can click on it, or you can tap it, and see other images like that. And that's incredibly difficult. And it was even more difficult 10, 15 years ago, but it's becoming easier. There's the voice element, voice to text, or text to voice. And I think that the best applications there are often in customer service. There are so many interactions that happen anywhere in a consumer facing world. It doesn't even have to be within retail. You can think about the compliance to the airline industry or to a bank. And a lot of it falls into a black hole. Like you always hear that, oh, this call may be recorded, but it is really difficult to go back and transcribe that and to really synthesize that into major themes. And what ML in particular can do is to basically pull out those themes. It can automate all of that, and can give insights as to what you could be doing, what you should be doing, what are the opportunities that you may not have even known existed. So there are definitely emerging places. I mean, even a visual recognition. So we talked about like house and Pinterest. Another great example is the computer vision that you have in like the Amazon Go stores. And there's a robot that the Walmart stores are now testing to go find if there are gaps in the inventory that need to be filled, or if something is running lower out of stock. So there are definitely some interesting applications, but it's still early days for sure. So last question, we've got a wrap here, but we're in April 2018, what are some of your top three recommendations for merchants to, as they prepare for say Black Friday coming up in what six or eight months, what are your top three recommendations for merchants to be successful and be able to facilitate a seamless online offline experience? Well, we always have kind of imbalances between supply and demand, and that's where I do think things like third-party sellers, third-party marketplaces are huge. So to be able to leverage that is certainly one opportunity. Another is to think creatively about promotions. In Japan, they have these promotions called Fukubukuro promotions, and it's basically like grab bags of like all the leftover inventory. And then, but then they basically put it into mystery bags where you can buy it for half off and consumers line up around the block at stores to go buy these grab bags because they also have almost like a gamified approach where one out of 10 of the bags will have like an iPad or some really high value item. So people really like these things and they have trading parties. So just new ways of having promotions beyond just the typical doorbusters that retailers think about. And then kind of third, I think, is just try to pace out the demand. One of the big issues in e-commerce has been just the burst in demand that always happened in December. And that creates a lot of problems from the standpoint of actually shipping the order. So the more that you can pull those transactions forward into November, the better off you are from a fulfillment and supply chain standpoint. I will switch, Rita. Thank you so much for stopping by the Cube and sharing your insights on the trends and what's going on in the e-commerce space. Really enjoyed talking with you. Nice to talk to you too. We want to thank you for watching. You're watching the Cube Live from Magento. Imagine 2018. I'm Lisa Martin. Stick around, I'll be back with my next guest after a short break.


All right. Are you ready? Hey. All I got to say is, I was walking into the talk and he was like dumbfounded going, all these people are here to listen to me. I was like, hey, it's all good. Okay, so I'm going to do this ice tray.  Where are we going? You know, like a lot of us, he's been involved in the sea for a lot of years.  So I'm going to take it away. And he isn't going to use PowerPoint. Flight to power. Actually wrote a PowerPoint. I really did. I wrote a PowerPoint for this. Actually wrote a PowerPoint for this presentation and I'm probably, not only am I not going to use it, I'm using not only just a Windows XP box, but this thing is actually infected with Sasser. So, it happened to me in the airport. I don't use Windows, so I have to use it basically just for work. And unfortunately, I got in the office and I saw the dreaded.   You can't hear me. Is that better? Hold it like a wrapper. Is that what you're telling me? All right, now hold on. You got to do it right. We're going to need a shot glass. No, that's not what I'm looking for. A shot? No, a shot. All right, hold on a second. Abbie here is going to help you. You were the first one up, so you get the shot glass. You can get some.  Somebody's stepping on my cord here. All right, the title of this talk is Viruses Worms and Trojans. Where are we going?   They've done nothing. We can go through all the different viruses and we will, and obviously not all of them, but we're going to go through quite a few of them.    They're really quite beautiful. Blaster was an incredible virus. It's not, you know, incredibly coded.  Well, I use, okay, ground rules. I use the word virus generically.    They all do the same thing. And I use the word viruses and not by right. Those are the ground rules. Sorry. That's to answer your question, obviously. I expected to give that answer. Anyway, so Blaster was actually an intelligent, really beautiful virus. And essentially, and I think quite intentionally, it basically shot itself in the foot.  Little to what the media has told you, quite honestly, they've done nothing. No tankers have capsized.  That's the hook right there. These could. And the even more scary part, of course, is that the media in and of itself has devalued the concept of viruses in and of itself to the point where no one cares anymore. All right. Sorry, I don't think I've actually ever talked to a crowd quite this big. I'm really surprised with the turnout.  All right. So essentially, that's just a basic overview. I'm IceTrain.  Some of you may have actually run into this.  But we'll say I work for a certain cable company. This cable company has a very phallic name. I'll let you figure this out. I've said nothing. Oh, and by the way, my real name is the name of the first man.  So anyways, from going on, basically the next talk, and I actually wasn't going to put this in my talk. But the next point of this particular thing is morality. I actually wasn't going to give this talk. I don't particularly believe in writing viruses in this particular talk. I have actually written a concept for a virus. It will not be written. Let me rephrase this. It will not ever be written. Thank you. It will not be written. There is no code.   I'm not going to write it. But the concepts that are within the virus in and of itself are very good. They're very solid. And nobody's quite thought of them before. The unfortunate thing, of course, is that about a year and a half ago is when I decided to write this. And it was a great idea about a year and a half ago. I was actually going to write a paper about it.  Basically, the problem here was that current viruses ended up starting to do some of the things that I was talking about. It's yet another case of me being ahead of my time. Only 15 minutes, though. So I wrote this paper. Well, it wasn't really a paper. But I wrote this thing and I thought, well, that's great. Let's go ahead and present at DEF CON. And I wrote it in.   But the morality of this thing is actually quite simple.  And they told me that I was letting the genie out of the bottle. I was writing something that very possibly could cause a major problem. To tell you the truth, the idea that I have written out isn't really that revolutionary. I don't think it's all that interesting. But there were people who were actually scared, including my boss, and who told me not to talk. In fact, to be quite honest, I very well might not have a job when I'm done. I don't really care. Anyway. So more or less, the morality is that, quite honestly, the genie isn't in the bottle. If you think the genie is in the bottle, you're kidding yourself.  And quite honestly, not only have they thought about it, they've probably come up with at least a half-ass implementation of what you've already thought about. The genie isn't in the bottle. And that's actually why I'm standing before you now. Because if it were, I probably wouldn't be talking to you because I'd be too scared that somebody would actually write this. All right.  Giving you a bit of the overview, need a little more alcohol here. I've already given you a bit of the overview.  They did cute little things. They put, you know, messages on your screen, alerting the user, of course, to their presence. And alerted everybody in the world to the fact that they exist. But the problem, of course, with that is that they shot their potential in the foot. By alerting everybody in the world that they existed, you've now, like, not only told people they existed, but now people are taking countermeasures. A lot of people think, well, that's great. That's absolutely great. Except the average user isn't going to notice exactly what I've done here. You're right. But CNN is. They are going to notice it. They're going to advertise it.  And basically what's going to end up happening is your virus is going to go away. That's basically what the main message of today is. The viruses of today are so ridiculously over, over, over, God, I can't even think here.  Blaster is my absolute favorite example of this, quite honestly. I'll tell you a little story about that a little bit later. But it did nothing. It really did nothing. Look at the payload. Let's see. What was the payload of Blaster? The payload of Blaster was, oh, yeah, a cute DOS attack on Microsoft. Oh, how interesting. That's nice. Except the only problem, of course, is that Microsoft actually went about changing their DNS records and they got local ISPs to go ahead and cooperate.   Because not only did they change the DNS records, but they felt it was probably saying to take Windows update down. And they did. And nothing happened. It was worthless.  Great idea. Great implementation. It went nowhere. To be quite honest, most of these viruses are like that. Sasser. We've got a million, pardon me, a million different variations of Sasser. What exactly does it do? Oh, cute. It opens a proxy. Actually, it opens 72 of them. It opens a proxy, pops the box. Okay, that's great. What are we going to do with that? Well, what we're going to do with that is we're going to go ahead and allow people to say, do DOS for hire. Yay, that's fun. We'll go ahead and DOS for people.   Well, it's a nice idea. It's a nice sentiment.  Basically, all of this stuff is essentially boiling down quite innocently to that. We could do better. Hold on one second here. I got it. Let me down because I'm actually, I know I keep using it. All right, so that's basically the overview. We've got so many problems that I've already talked about. One of them, of course, is the fact that we shoot our potential in the foot. The other is a general lack of ambition. And yet again, we'll bring up Blaster. Blaster's main problem, of course. Yeah, a DOS attack. Yay. Real fun. Let's do something interesting. Let's... Well, I'll bring that point up later. Let's do something interesting.  Yay, the box goes down. Big deal. The box will come back in four hours or whatever they decide to update their ACLs and change the way that you come through. So... I know I'm working on that. All right. The other problems here, of course, are lack of vision. There is absolutely no vision in viruses. They really aren't very imaginative whatsoever. And this is the basic overview, by the way. I will go into detail. I won't be done in 15 minutes. Another problem here, of course, is lack of code. This is speaking mostly about old viruses. And I don't know how many of you people out here actually know, but quite honestly, most viruses are actually based off of some of the original same code. They're all using... Not all, but quite a bit of them are using the stone viruses. Some of them are using a lot of the code from the first macro viruses for Word.   All right. So what else do we got here? Another problem with older ones is actually too many platforms. We had Amiga. We had Commodore 64. This is back in the old days, obviously, 1992 or so. We had Amiga. We had Commodore 64. We had PCs. We had Mac. We had Apple II. Way too many platforms. No real penetration of the platforms in general. Really hard to implement virus within those platforms because of course there's too many people that aren't using all the same thing. And of course not enough penetration, which I just covered. All right. How am I doing on time here? I'm a what, 12 minutes? So the methodologies are interesting, but it's because the driving force basically here is greed. And most likely the problem with that, of course, is that while greed is an interesting motivator, you don't really get anything done just looking for money. I'm talking about using viruses here to change the world. I'm talking about using viruses to change social order.   Okay. So, hold on a second here. I think I could have used the power point. It probably would have straightened me up, but that's all right. God. So basically what happens is if somebody figures this out and somebody uses this, they could very easily screw us all. Quite honestly, if they were to figure out that the methodologies in and of themselves are shooting the virus in the foot, they could invent a virus that could very well drop everything.   Quite honestly, because of the media, and I've already touched on this before, the fact is that they're underestimated and if they are underestimated, they will be used against us. We just don't quite realize it yet. So essentially, basically what I've worked up from here is I've actually worked up quite a few different viruses and I'll state this right now. I'm not necessarily an expert on this stuff. Basically the jewel of this particular talk is the fictional virus that I wrote and that particular virus, quite honestly, while interesting, it doesn't exist and it will never exist unless somebody here ends up trying to write it. Maybe I'm going too far. Anyway, all right. So basically, hold on a second here, most viruses as it comes up today are basically known as little more than a nuisance. They don't really do anything. We've already covered that. They basically cost companies money and the media covers them, ha ha ha, happy fun stuff. All right. So let me switch off here. Yay. Obviously one of the things that we have going for us in the current implementation of what things are happening is automated patching and all sorts of other fun stuff. We can actually educate the users and tell them the fun of patching. There really is no way to get around this stuff. Quite honestly, I really wish I weren't kidding, but quite honestly, if somebody does figure out what we're doing, we're fucked. So basically the problem today is that today's viruses have nothing more than simple greed driving them. Because of that, they aren't very interesting. There's very little code that's being invented because all they're trying to do is make the quick buck. It seems basically today that the only concept that you want to do is you want to go ahead and you want to get a back door open to a machine. You want to use this to spam out. You want to use this to cause some kind of harm to some website, which while fun isn't really quite that interesting. So we go along and what? Am I doing all right? Are you sure? What? I noticed that. We got a vote here. What's up? Going to the concepts. What do we want to hear?   All right.    It's payload blacks. Relax. Relax. Listen. Listen.  It's payload free. It's all the same message. I can go on and on and on about it.  There's nothing there. I am saying something. All right.  What if you were to use a virus to actually do something interesting? What? No. The companies out there are doing void. A bit of them doing void. Let's think about this for a second. We got quite a bit of them doing void. A significant fine if 9-1-1 goes down.  It's ideas like this that I'm talking about.  This is exactly what I'm doing. We're saying what we're doing so far is we're popping the box.  That's when you can drop a goddamn NASDAQ company into the toilet. So what?  I'm trying. I'm trying. Concepts. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. I'm working. Hold on a second. Jesus. Okay.  Jesus.  Let's get to the fucking. All right.  I'm not the one who's scheduled to talk. I just admitted it. All right. So we have a virus. We use RPC-DECOM just for fun because I love blaster.  We'll insert ourselves using RPC-DECOM. What are we going to do with this? Well, what are we going to do with this?  We're going to insert ourselves into the box.  Well, how we're going to spread is we're going to go ahead and we're going to fan out a scan over 36 hours. The scan is going to be over a slash 24. That slash 24 is going to be a remote network not attached to that machine. That network, of course, is going to be remote, obviously, and it's going to be spread over 36 hours, not tripping off the IDSs.   Now, from there, so we've already gone and we've scanned. We're going to scan the local network, obviously. Now, here's the point. We're going to scan one network. We're going to scan the remote network.  Two. Two. That's it.  Stop. You're done. Two hosts. No, wait.  We found Blaster because of goddamn network traffic. I got called on Blaster. I shouldn't have got called on Blaster. I'm not responsible for viruses. I got called on Blaster because Blaster was a network security DOS attack. They're not called me about that. I was rather pleased. And quite honestly, when they called me, I didn't quite know what to do. I was looking at it. I had bad information.   Port 135, blah, blah, blah. If you were to slow that down and only infect two hosts, while you wouldn't infect the world in eight minutes, what happens if you weren't to infect the world in eight minutes, but you were to actually just go about infecting the world in, say, six weeks?  Where I'm going with this. That's the whole concept of this talk.  And you didn't like it, which is fine. Trust me, I'm not insulted.  Spread the scan over a small block network. Randomize that network. Don't always look for a slash 24. Look for a slash 27 some points.   Spread the two hosts, two hosts. That's it. Come back out. Spread to one host locally. You've now got three hosts that are infected. Those three friends will tell three friends, tell three friends, tell three friends, and you'll have fun. Now that you've got all that out of the way, you've got your spreading.  You're basically going to more or less come along and simultaneously, once you're done scanning, come through and actually start the infection. What is the infection?  Here's a nice example, though. How much are spam lists? Anybody know? Somebody's bought one. Come on. How much are spam lists? I can already tell you. I've done my research. It's $3,000 to $5,000 for a halfway decent one.   Why are they so worthless? Why? They're so worthless because all of the information that's on those disks that is on spam list is garbage. They have no real information on there. Most of the spam they're going to send out are bounces. So, we now got a target. We're going to accumulate a spam list. Closer? There we go. Can you guys still hear me? Okay. We're going to accumulate a spam list. How are we going to accumulate a spam list? What we're going to do is we're going to go ahead and start up our virus. We've got the actual dump and we're going to go ahead and start actually doing something. We've spread. We've got the light portion of the virus taken care of. What we're going to do from there is we're going to go ahead and start up the actual dump. What are we going to do? Well, let's hear something off the shelf.  Open it up. Join IRC. Join IRC is a clone. Attach a key. Start up. Dump the address book. It doesn't sound all that interesting, but think about it for a minute. There are global address books in companies. I can tell you right now a certain company that I know of has 45,000 addresses in that global address book. Each and every one of those addresses is more or less confirmed.  These are confirmed addresses. These are confirmed customers. These are confirmed business customers. You can do something with this. You announce your key. You dump the list.  By walking away, of course, I mean you delete your holes and you walk out. You walk out of the door you came in. You close the door.   Nobody. What are you going to see? Let's do a net stat on this particular thing. You're going to see a connection to 667, or our port 667. Who cares? Nobody, no user is going to know this.   You've got your net stat. It shows port 667. You see it as a momentary connection, probably 8 to 10 seconds, and then you're gone. Nobody will know.  It's not just the, it's not a spam list. I mean you could do that too, obviously, but it's not just a spam list. You could take this further. You could change up each and every one of these particular subsections and do anything you wanted with this. The concept here is sanely scanning for what you're looking for. Instead of looking for stuff and spreading in 8 minutes, yeah, that's great. You spread in 8 minutes, except you've alerted CNN and everybody's already taken countermeasures.  There's nothing you can do. You've got 45,000 people done.  Right there in and of itself, that is exactly what we're talking about. And the fact is, is that quite honestly the media has completely ignored the fact that viruses can do anything. We've gone ahead and said, oh yeah, they're cute. They're neat. Blaster was responsible for this many male servers going dead. This many things happened, well Blaster did that, but you know what I'm saying. Any virus was responsible for this many male servers going dead. Any virus was responsible for anything going wrong. And basically we've devalued the concept. The security professionals were sitting there staring at this stuff going, you know, there's nothing here. When they're not called me, I was not frightened. I did not realize how much my world was going to change. And quite honestly it did. That's the truly frightening part about this whole thing. My world did change.  I had no view. I had no T's off the router.  Think about if you were to actually launch that attack against the growing company. I'm talking about, I work for a company that has somewhere in the area 45,000 to 60,000 employees.     Imagine what you could actually do with this concept. It's not just the one stop shop, and it's not just for virus lists. Start up a parser. And actually, like I said, I wrote this a year and a half ago. So this has actually somewhat been done, but not quite in this fashion. The delivery mechanism is still not there.  Ain't nobody going to notice, ain't nobody going to see.  You will infect the entire world and basically you can garner a list from anywhere.


We're going to have a night poke. Oh my gosh, Pokey, I'm a huge fan. I'm sorry. I'm just going to get a picture real quick. I'll pay, I'll pay. Oh no, oh no, I'm sorry. It's okay, I did. We're friends, we're friends. He's a streamer. He's joking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take him away now. Okay, that was worth. That was 100% worth. Wow. I'm eating a baguette. So this is EU2 is gone. We're going to stream in the mornings here and then stream again at my normal time. That's true. Thank you. Are all the SPAN colors? Okay, let's get inside. Okay, so Chad, here's a few things about France that I've learned. Everybody smokes. In fact, I've seen more cigarettes than baguettes, which is very disappointing, because baguettes are delicious. And cigarettes are gross. Just smoke a baguette. I feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger.  I don't listen to my wife. Where can I get that shirt? This is the OG. Okay, you see this shirt? This is the OG S-Fan merch. Like the day one before I even streamed on Twitch. Oh, wait, no, actually, it was right around the time I streamed on Twitch. This is like five, six-year-old merch. But we're going to bring it back soon. Okay, I'm working on a new merch, but I want to bring this back, the OG shirt. Is Ginny joining you? I'll find Ginny today. Oh, hold on. Let me make sure my alerts are on here. Okay, chat. Somebody TTS. Chat, somebody give me money, please. Six. Yo, hey! He's got the new OTK merch. Yeah. Nice, there you go. OTKnetwork.com, new merch. Actually, that might be sold out. I brought that somewhere. I think it did, yeah. Can you take a picture? Yeah, let's do it. I don't know when you sign badges.  That's fan. Plus one viewer.  It's upstairs? Look, take a look at how they did this. They got a bunch of games here. Wait, this is actually sick. I love how they did this.  Oh my gosh, we're getting real. Wait, how do I punch? Wait, what is a punch? Oh, that's kick. Yeah, the controls don't work. Broken, broken, broken. Maybe I can be motivated like NMP driving behind Caroline corn. Oh, you can go snowballs at them.  This is a stretch, right? You just keep snowmall. I just keep snowmall.  Ben's here. Of course you got Ben. Good to see you, man. This is a machine from Korea. Really? They hate this one. I like what it's like. I don't like the angles. You don't like angles? No, is this the Korean version of angles? I don't think so, but it's very, like, usual thing that you can see in Korea. See, I like the up-down, left-to-right. Wait, it's different. That's what I'm saying. Oh. See, it's like an angle like this. When it should be like this. Oh. Interesting. He's Korean. He's Korean. Yeah, man. He's an expert at this. He says he plays it all the time. I would love to, but... Oh, you're... Oh, yeah, I am. I'm sorry. Yeah, I know. Okay, I'm going to combine you. We'll meet later. All right, I'll see you later. Do we know anybody?  Dude, okay, so the meet and greets are one hour for most people. I find out my meet and greets tomorrow is two hours.  They're like, it filled up too fast. Like, so you just threw an extra hour on my schedule? Only one hour extra? Why not two? Come on, Twitch. Feed my ego a little bit. Come on, man. It's crazy because there's so many streamers that we don't know. What are you thinking about? Is that weird to think about? There's like the S-Fan Cinematic Universe, okay? That's what I call it. That's what they call it, the people. You have the S-Fan Cinematic Universe, and it like collides and you have like these crossovers. But there's a lot of other cinematic universes that are less cinematic and a little bit more like, you know, cable TV. And that's great. But you don't really know those cable TVs exist. But at TwitchCon, it's cool because you have to see everybody, meet everybody. It's a great stream. Yeah, it's fun. Hey, how's it going? It's going good. We had a photo from last year. Oh, really? Cool. Let's see it again. Yeah. You know what? You kind of look like German pop holes. You look like it's German pop. Hi. Oh, cool. Let's see it again, man. Thanks. That was really good. Let's see it. Let's go to some boots. Do you guys want to try some boots? Here are PR chases in the chat. Capital PRC, H-A-S-E, the most least used globally mode. Let's see if your chat can really make me be a thing. Good job, Ted. The chase is on. It's the most used to this mode that's seen since last TwitchCon. Yeah, it's usually every TwitchCon. I got to keep recording it once a year out of TwitchCon. So that way, Twitch doesn't delete it. There you go. It's like most of the globals. That's that challenge. So at least you have a better chance than most of them. So you're doing good. Jay, what's up, dude? You look so good as fan. What's going on here? Just hanging out? This is my... I couldn't afford an Apple Watch, so I got this thing for $20 on AliExpress. But what does it do? It's a four-volume Bluetooth speaker. I can't even hear it. So can you even... Does it even say the time? No, it doesn't. Something is blinking here. I think that means it's broken. But it looks cool, so... So in Paris til Wednesday? In Paris til Wednesday. You need snails? Have you done it before? I've eaten so many snails. Already? No, I just didn't want to do it. What's up, man? You see, you see, he's got another cameraman. Okay. Hold on, hold on. No, we want to look at that camera. Okay, now that is a star. Hey, it's 18. 18 grand is the amount of money. Yeah, I'm the cameraman, dude. This is Finn. I'm Finn. Yeah, this is Finn. So, I got your text. I'm streaming later. I was going to stream in the evening, too. So, I probably wouldn't be able to. But, we'll figure it out. Are you streaming all day tomorrow? So, I'm going to... My plan is to stream until three, and then I'm going to break for a few hours, then I have free. I have time again. So, maybe in that room, we can meet up to talk. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go live in, like, seven. Okay. You got to get this guy. All these pictures. You got all these pictures here. This is the guy. This is the future. No, no. I'm telling you, he's the future. No. The future is here. Please. He's the future. Why do you think I follow him around? Yeah, yeah. I'll find something for you. I've learned. There you go. I'm going to keep walking. I'll let you guys go. See you guys. So, here's our quests. We have quests. Our quests for today. We got to find Annie. We got to find Ginny. What other quests do we have? Nymn should be here somewhere. Nymn said he's going to be here with Yabba. People are so nice to you. Chat. I am a paladin. I am a paladin. I'm a paladin. I'm a paladin. I'm a paladin. I'm a paladin. I am a paladin. Whether I am playing WoW actively or not, I will always be a Retribution Paladin. I believe in Retribution. Whatever you do to me, I will treat you the same way. Ten point. If you are nice, I will be very nice. If you are weird, I will be weird. If you are mean, I will be very mean.  If you are nice, it's all good. How did you walk that one? Still recovering? Yeah. How many miles total did you walk? 169 miles. We'll do it real quick. Let's go. Yeah, I'll probably go live like 7. Hey! She says I'm fashionable. Chat. I'm going to wear this today because I want to be like the... I like being the cartoon character. I like the... She's in the boot. Why don't you guys tell me that? I'm stuck inside of the boot forever. She literally has to stream forever now. Annie, I'm sorry. Wait, is this locked? What's up? How are you? They got you set up here. Yeah, they did it. Oh, is this your set up? Yeah. I'm not joking. I literally... I am not joking. I swear. Let's look this way. That's sick. It is, right? Yeah. How long are you going to stream for? I'll probably see you in a little bit. Yeah. All right. Cool. Sounds good. All right. I think you'll be up this too though. I'm more... Here's one. This one. Yeah, yeah. What is it? It's for food. For food? Yeah. Yeah, I guess we're going to watch this one. All right. Let me know where. What's your plan? All right. We'll see you later. Let's go down. We're going to go down. Oh, wait. No, we're not. Look at this.  W cameraman. I think you look so familiar. Yeah, and this is Ben. This is my cameraman. Hi, cameraman. Yeah. So, I don't... I don't... You can do it now. Hey, thanks, dude.  Six of each of you. Yeah. Yeah, well, dude, I saw your stuff in Gothenburg. Yeah. It's like just after I moved to Sweden. Dude. And I went down to Kappa Bar. And I was like... I think it was. Yeah. Yeah, but that live stream on the street was super though. Yeah. Super sick. Yeah. That's sick. That's cool. I remember that. Yeah, yeah. It's great to see you man. Yeah. Hell yeah. It's sick. Yeah. It's awesome. Six of each of you. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what I want. Go into memorable streams that people remember for years. That's... That's like... That's what I want. That feels good. Yeah. That feels really good. Take a picture. Yeah. What's your favorite stream that I ever did? Yours? Yeah. Your favorite stream that I ever did. Probably one of those. One that's one of those. Sick. Good memorable streams. Good to meet you. Yeah, absolutely. All right. Have a nice day, man. Perfect. Absolute legend. Name of the 69 bits. Hey. Stop guys here. It's a...  These guys are going nuts. I was trapped on the roof for an hour. Wait. Like, trap-trapped? Yeah. Not even kidding. It's been a bad morning. Right after my meet-and-greet, I kept the elevator for four and four. Went out a door, walked behind me. And they wouldn't let me in because I have an all-access path. Yeah, I'm not kidding. What? The good news is I was bored up there and I've been getting all the clips from my community of all the streamers talking about how much they hate me. It's been beautiful. I'm not even kidding. It's great. What are you, did you have a meet-and-greet? No, not tomorrow. I'm not tomorrow. Yeah. Stream elements. Stream elements of those people are they upstairs? They're up on one directly this way. All over. They're like the last group directly this way. Which one? You'll see. Elements because I got to get a backpack. Elements, yeah. Yeah, you'll see that. All right.  So, stock guy, I said to f off. Hey, sorry. You guys want to check out the merch? Let's go check out the merch. Hey, see if I can just skip the line? Because I'm not going to buy anything. So, I'm just going to look and I'll say we're filming. Let me see it. I'll ask. We're just going to go in. We're just going to film some shots when I actually buy anything, but the total is going to be about the last three. Are they fast-tracked? I'll just stream inside there. Are you sure? If they're towards the front, we can just post the... Yeah, just don't check. Thank you. Guys, my ego did not go down. Okay. When you're in my position, they just... they got to check for security. I guess you can, but not in the cash registers. But I can't let you group it. Yeah, it's different. I'm afraid you'll have to queue. I can't let you through here. Really? Unless you put a fast pass, then... No. It's only for accessibility and fast pass orders. Well, they gave me a fast pass earlier, but I don't have the card. Because I have the card, but I can't let you through. I'm sorry. If you have the fast pass card, I can let you through, otherwise I can't. Okay. Are you sure? Yes. Definitely. The previous one I wasn't sure about, I've got it clarified. You can stream. And this one, I'm 100% sure. I'm the biggest twitcher on stream again. Sorry. It's hard to reach if I go and I show off my merch. I know. I know. You guys can get it. It's a poor decision, then not let me do it. Hey, I'm just being honest. Look at all the merch. The same time, this is the timing of this. It's like... It's all different person. So, I think some of the stuff you can buy online, because I've seen some stuff you get online, but a lot of this stuff, I think it's actually Chat, now you can get this merch at otknetwork.com Hey, this is the good stuff. This is where I shop. This is the bargain bin. This is the TJ Maxx here. This is the TJ Maxx Twitch. This is where you get the good stuff. Just grab whatever you can. These are cents? 150 cents? No, it's euros. Oh, euros. Sorry. I only know American letters. I thought euro was food. What do you mean? I thought it was Greek food. I can't get it. I thought euro was Greek food. Greek food? Yeah. It's spelled like gyro. Yeah, my cousin is Greek. Yeah, but everybody else is Persian. Oh. Yeah, I don't know how that happens. Yeah. Anyway, have a nice day. Were you like this when you left? I'm broke. Oh. Yeah, I was just going to show. I said I wouldn't buy anything. I said I was just going to show everything off the film. Yeah, thanks. We'll see you later. Man, it looked like a cent. What are you going to say? Thank you so much. I really, I really appreciate it. Oh, thank you. They liked it too, because I got to see everything. Cool. Yeah, thank you so much. Take care. You too. Nick is meeting and greeting. Wait, really? Hey, how's it going? Hey, how's it going? I just was like, kind of peeking to see who was doing the interview. He's got Pokey, Mouserfrid, Yidro, Pokey's grader. Wait, who else? Yidro, I know. I'm a friend's grader. I'm trying to think who I am. I'm Pokey. Can we go say hi to Pokey? See you again. Hello. You signed up for a meeting, Green? Yeah, meeting. You got a cue. No, meeting and greeting tomorrow at 10.30. Who's in charge? Who's in charge? There are two people with the greats in charge. Okay, one more go ahead. We're going to sign up for Pokey. I'm just going to say hi to Pokey. I'm just going to say hi to Pokey. I'm a friend's grader. Not Mouserfrid. Can I go in the back? I might be here tomorrow. See, can I just not go? See, that's what I'm saying. I should just go. Because she's a friend of mine. I'm a friend's grader. So I'm not like some weirdo. No, it's the problem. I would just have someone. Okay, cool. Thank you. Hey, thank God I'm good at photoshop. Little bro, Ben, you're going to see Pokey. I was just going to do a meme. Okay. Wait, I don't want her to come here. Yes, yes, I know. But I just need to check with the manager. Yes, that's why I'm trying to bring you here. I didn't want Pokey to come here, that's all. Okay, I was just making sure. Yeah. Okay. Can I talk to the manager? 15 minute joke? Let's do that. True, actually. It's still funny. Actually, I'll be honest. It's funnier now because of the rest of the circumstance. Hey. Hey, I'm Nick. Hey, how's it going? Good. I was just going to go to Pokey and do a huge fan. I was going to leave, but the whole joke ended up taking 15 minutes. It's not taking that long. The beat is getting on. Yeah. Oh, no. Your last one. Yeah. Do you have a meeting room? No, tomorrow I do. That's Pokey. Yeah, I was just going to go up there and be like... It's ridiculous. So, I mean... I'll wait until she talks to the next person I like jumping. Do some comedic timing, yeah. Oh my gosh, Pokey, I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. I'm sorry. I'm just... Can I get a picture real quick? I'm such a huge fan. $10. Oh, no. I'm sorry. It's okay. I did. We're friends. We're friends. No, I was just doing a bit. Yeah, they walked me through it. He's a streamer. He's joking. But it is rude and he should have told you first. I should have. I should have. I should have. I should have. I should have. I'm better. I heard you didn't know. It's okay. No, no, no. I'll stand with you. Yeah, yeah. Of course. I'll take them away now. All right. Thanks. Have fun. Enjoy your day. Thanks. See you, dude. Okay, that was worth. That was 100% worth. Okay, anyway. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for watching today. I'm going to rate Nick. They had so much. Totally worth. It was totally worth. That was funny that I wanted to meet. Perfect. I thought it was going to be cool. Last stream. All right, guys. Weirdo shoes attack. Creased fan dress attack. Poki made it to a job.