Thank you. We're going to call to order the meeting. The Colchester Planning Commission is 7 0 8, 7 0 2.  All right. So one thing I'd like to mention if anybody comes in, we'd like you to sign in when you come in so we can have communication. Thank you very much. And now we have. That's okay. I just can't get the internet, so. There you go. That would be great. Thank you. So we have agenda considerations reserved for changes to the agenda items and order, not changing anything tonight. Comments and questions from the public, not related to anything on our agenda. All good. Anything, anything that's on supplement 44, basically, tonight and everything that has to do with East Lakeshore Drive. Yeah. Yep. Come up, give your name if you want to. I don't know if we fill this East Lakeshore Drive. I don't know if we mentioned anything. I don't remember. I know we did fencing, but we didn't do trees and landscaping that blocks. So, do we do size and placement of trees in particular? We don't want to do anything with that. We have. With the rebuilding in the zoning. You're correct. We did not address that at all. Okay. Yep. Thank you. Will we or not? Maybe in the future we can discuss that. I'm not really sure where we're at with that one. Okay, that's good. Is that okay? Absolutely. All right. So, we got our DHCA draft report view and possible action. Go in here, Roddy. I don't know if anybody does need it. I have one full copy of the draft of the report and the regulations up there. They're available to gravity like take a look through. I try to zoom in as I go through here, but just tolerate means you can't hear or see anything we're talking about. Okay. So, those of you who have been through a settlement before know that with any amendments to your regulation, you need to create a report pursuant to 4441 statute. That report addresses three things really. The impact on municipal facilities, whether or not it conforms with your town plan. What are the impacts for the public? So, that's what this report does. These are pretty short answers. They're pretty benign. I think that most of what we're talking about on these slides short has little to no impact or is neutral in terms of the effect on these three. This is your report that will be submitted to them from you, not from me. And it is submitted to them from the Planning Commission, not the Select Board. So, please feel free to edit at will if there's anything that you think that doesn't represent. Any concerns on that? It's just this thing that's kind of beyond the next item. Exactly. Good with that? Mm-hmm. Yep. There are all your dates for discussion. I think we're all good with it. Everybody's shaking heads. Yeah. Yeah? Bob and our kids. Are you ready? There is a draft of the memo. Someone needs to make a motion that we accept the amendment and adoption report as drafted to be included in the public warning and distributed accordingly. Yes, I think that. All right. Discussion? All in favor? Aye. Aye. Motion passed. So, consider a warning for public hearing amendments to the Colchester Development Regulations Supplement 44. Really, what is included here that was not included prior are a lot of the appendices, none of which have changed other than due to organization, page numbers, additional appendix that highlights every parcel that was changed in zoning designation. You did have discussion, I understand, at your last meeting about the commercial building or the commercial vehicle lengths that should be in here that's been updated. The heights of the building reflected, we talked about two, maybe three meetings ago, a 28th in the LS3. Really, I don't think, since the August 2nd meeting, there's no tax change to follow. Yep. Just compiling all of the stuff you have already for a time. Thank you, Warren. Any questions on that one? From anybody? No, I just remember seeing some typos, but I didn't really make hard to note out, so you do a final go-through. We will do that, and then we'll also have to, a lot of it will get caught with the red lining, too. It'll probably change some more. Just to clarify something, so L and N. L is the regulation for electric vehicle charging stations, and N is bicycle charging stations. Just wondering where we left them. I think we left it as to study the electric bike thing for the future, and we did not change anything for the cars. I wasn't told that they were changing. No, we didn't make changes. We decided to leave it. I think we talked about two meetings ago that we returned to all of the bicycle right there. There's a lot of room for improvement with respect to everything from what the bike rack looks like, how many should you be having, to electric bicycles as well. And with a quick little detail research right off the bat, I said we have more electrical fires from electric bikes all of a sudden now happening. I'm sorry. We now have more electrical fires, the same as the batteries on the cars. So we would have to really start getting more detailed if we just want to do that, I think. Make sure we're safe for everybody. Yeah, I'm just wondering if construction or we'll go ahead and we'll miss again an opportunity to put, you know, bike chargers in and out so people don't have to carry 50 pound bikes up two flights of stairs. I definitely would like that, but I would rather have it safe and I think a developer would be more educated before he does something that's unsafe for his property. Is there any way we can make that kind of mandatory in terms of that it's studied? We can definitely look at it again. It's the same idea as everything else. But this is at Sevens Corners, right? This one just happens to be, I think it's for everything. We did it for all the buildings. Sevens Corners is the one we focused on. Yeah, so I think one of the things we talked about a couple of meetings ago is that anything that's subject to Act 250 will have state review. So that largely is anything with over 10 units, 10 acres. Most of your larger buildings will, they will have to meet those regulations under the state energy code. We talked about Sevens Corners because given that they are in the growth center in the new town center, they are exempt from the Act 250 review. And so this could have been a loophole where something would have fallen through. That's why maybe you're thinking Sevens Corners specifically, but most other large buildings will be subject to the state code, which will require most of that to have bicycle chargers and car chargers. I'm not sure on the bicycle standards, to be honest with you. Phyllis wanted to have, you want an input on that? Yeah, just sorry guys. I just wanted to just find out when we're dealing with the electrical systems and for bikes and cars, no matter what. In specific divisions. We're working with L3F, we're working on all these different divisions. On Eastlake Shore Drive, I don't see that we need these. Unless the rental home, people are renting out line for their customers. But most of us are residential, so we have our own rental. So I don't see any of this big stuff, like you're saying, like Sevens Corners, need a car. Good. It's perfect. Thank you. We are talking about Sevens Corners. She just wanted to make sure. We're good. Perfect. So again, my concern is that construction will happen and there'll be an opportunity that's missed because we don't have some regulation in that would require bike chargers. I think we did. I think you're right. But I think, maybe I'm wrong. If anybody here wants to chime in, I think where our decision was to err on the side of caution and not make a decision on that. So we left it as is. That's how, that's... She just wanted to find it. Do you have that? Come on up. Rick Davie, East Lakes Shore Drive. There is no standard for bicycle chargers. So that's going to be the major stumbling block. That's why, like, a lot of the electric rental bikes, they take them back at night, charge them, bring them back. They don't have a standard plug that they can charge into. But I'm wondering if we can establish a standard. That would be a national thing, I would think, but... So you could. I think that the discussion I'm just remembering that the discussion that we had a few weeks ago was this is something that would take a little bit of research and some language to put together and it's up to you as to whether or not you want to delay the rest of the regulations while we work on this or save it for the next one. There's probably some great language out there that I could bring to you for consideration. If you want to do that. I don't think we should... You're delaying everything else. It's your fault. There is language I could bring to you. Yeah. Well... I don't think we should hold on to all the work we've gotten to to get to this point to start talking about the bicycles. I mean, it's a great idea and an interesting thought process but we've worked pretty hard to get to where we are to move this forward on a lot of things to back the fellow. Yep. Yeah, I have to say I'm still on board with that moving forward. I'm on board with moving forward but I feel like I've been bringing this up for a long time. I'm just concerned about wiring and wires being run and not being able to... having to tear off a sidewalk or something because we didn't act on this.  That is a 10-year status of future and I don't want to hold this up but I would like to figure out a way that we could have this conversation very soon in the future. We can definitely address it again. Okay. I'm sorry guys, I had to do a really hard review of this. Yeah, I saw that. Not doing anything for me. You're with me. Quite close. I was just going to say something because most of my neighbors now have the solar on their roof. When they put those in they ask if they like the additional plug-ins and a car so I've got two makers that have the solar and the car plugs so it is definitely up to the economy. It is totally the future. Like with Sarah how we protect ourselves from the future we're not sure what we'd like to. Alright, thanks. Were you guys able to look at the other pieces? The heights, do they reflect where you want it to be? The commercial vehicle length? If I can. I just went back to the red. Do we adjust it again? We've read the others enough. When is a good time to chat? I'll take only a few. Right now. Come on up. So from last week's from the last draft it was 25 feet and I brought up the point why LS1 is 20 feet and you said well you wanted to get allow a little bit more height so now it's 28 feet which will allow definitely allow a full two-story building with a little pit roof. I want to go backwards to about character and why we're doing this and following the town master plan is about character. I think at one point it sent a letter to everybody about the number of one-and-a-half story homes that are there now that if we replace with two-story blockhouses we'll definitely change the character. So I would rather see it stay at 25 feet which I believe is a compromise and allow the people to get creative architecturally with one-and-a-half story dormers they'll still be able to get nearly two stories but the roof will be lower in doing that and if we allow 28 feet it's just going to be allow that two-story block house. Correct. Yep. Okay. Thank you. Yep. Peter Mungin, 71 Jason Drive and I apologize Kathy and I know you were your first meetings but I've been extremely busy this summer and not been able to attend the more recent ones and so I'm just curious how was the 40 44 was LS LS2 LS4 and 28 for LS3 how did you come to that decision? Okay. Go ahead. Sure. We had a few conversations on this and as today we played out 25 was in the draft for a little bit I think 20 was even in some draft at some point and the direction was to allow a full two stories out the street we measure as you may know a height of building from the average pre-construction grade so most of the homes on the base side of East Lakeshore are going to start below the road because of how we measure and the in doing 25 feet I think as today's pointed out doesn't get you to full stories you really need 10 feet you've got the foundation, you've got the 10 feet you've got a little bit of room between and then we measure to the pitch of a roof the peak so 27 and a half was a number that came up in a lot of the literature that I found about some of the floor plans for a pitched roof it was 12 on 6th grade or 12 you mean the majority of it was probably 612 612 sorry so with a pretty standard pitched roof you could get a full two stories with a pitched roof in about 27 and a half feet that's where the commission conversation went but it all started with the direction to have two stories no more so a lot of these properties it'll probably result in three because you don't have a walkout basement this is the way of the average measure the average pre-construction grade right from there so a walkout basement story so where does your base level begin starting at 28 feet so your average pre-construction grade so again these are for rebuilds so when you take the four corners and you average that point this will require an engineer to complete that and then the average of that is where you're starting from some cases it could be a few feet below sort of the road grade in some cases it's a little closer most of your flat lots it's pretty obvious where that is but here you know I've seen at least a few that I've seen come in in the past 10 months or so most of them are about half the story down where you start measuring so the the decision was made for 28 for LS 3 but 44 LS 4 across the street why the differential why aren't they at 28 for the same number of stories that's absolutely because on the lake side they wanted to keep things so it wasn't this massive houses all in a row it blocks out everything so we wanted to keep the character a little less big time I guess so you're very concerned about the view from the people the residents are very concerned about it you assigned this 12 foot delta correct so on the other side of the road we decided that you're not going to be obstructing a view but if you're building on the other side you definitely want as much lake as you can see right this gives you an opportunity to have one side of the road lots of lake view right on the lake he's going to have lake view either way this gives him an opportunity to have two floors bedrooms with views kitchens with views and I can see that situation being applicable when you're at the same level between LS 3 and LS 4 where you would want 40 on the non lake side and 28 on the lake side what do you do in the situation where the building or the base level is already 20 feet a delta of 20 feet higher than on the base side than on the water side so they're already in terms of maintaining that 12 foot delta for the folks across the street to be able to see they've already got a 20 foot delta so why wouldn't you allow that delta to be your your set value ok this individual already has 20 feet above the individual on the water side why can't they come up to still maintain that 12 feet you know delta correct I don't think we wanted the congested look I don't think we also wanted the congested look of all these big buildings on the lake side that was another concern people like the cottage look so we kind of made a compromise here of how to get that look it's a give and take you're right it's not all for the visual on LS4 it's also just for the straight visual of driving by the aesthetics of the whole that side of the road it's all played in it's not a perfect world we have to make compromises that's the best we got wasn't that part of the outreach we had the activities that's what came down to was lowering the scale on LS3 you mentioned the themes that came from those outreach yeah it was part of you know the two very strong things that came out of it one that didn't surprise me was about the heights on the bay side and that we had any sort of outreach I personally was a little surprised that the outreach you asked about the non-bay side was that there was no concern or less concern over there so I think that where the commission ended up was a reflection of less concern and almost no concern on the non-bay side part of the reason we helped those outreaches was about especially that side we hurt so little that was definitely a theme that came out of it yeah absolutely I think that's what was there for R2 to begin with that was the height, that area so we left it in place it's important to represent what's in the R2 and again this applies to not only new construction renovations correct the 28 yeah I mean renovations that would extend the height and obviously if you already have a 40 foot building or a 36 foot building you're not required to chop it off because you're putting a small addition on but if you did put a larger addition that part of the addition would be able to exceed the 20 and again it's from the average foundation height the average pre-construction grade yeah a little hard to tell when you're doing the addition there's no six much of that but there's good diagrams and regulations about that yeah and given the ones I've seen in recent months it's a pretty straightforward calculation and I'm not going to really argue about it too much yet okay alright thank you yep come on up sorry that's alright I know it's not to be addressed in this draft but what about LS1 and LS2 in the 20 foot height for those zones for the residential 20 foot height you're right I'm not going to address that one I know but is that something that's going to be looked at in the future because go back and look at what we've done to see if it works LS all of these are especially with the sewer pipe they will probably have changes in the future because we're not exactly sure what's going to happen we envision what we hope is going to happen but we'll turn out exactly that way you got one standard here and another standard there and it's basically the same type of we had a lot of community output to tell you the truth and I think it's what the residents wanted it's the property orders wanted we listened to everybody I think the groups coming out for that one is even larger than we had here to tell you the truth it's a lot of people living there what they wanted and that's what we reflect I think the consensus was we didn't really do outreach that included LS1 and LS2 it would be a little bit disingenuous to sort of make too many changes I totally agree I was just wondering if there was thought process of in the future oh for sure and all parts of town we're always looking definitely a few things that came up in your conversation anything else on that one we still okay with the 28 I'm okay with the 28 yeah we had to be flexible we have to change in the future but it's a start do you think you're good so we're all good on that one still we ended up with a 20 foot total and a 10 foot height 16 feet 18 feet in line we talked about 20 feet because I had looked at and that would just restrict it to like one manufacturer basically 17 and a half feet and without having an extended cab there's some that was like 19 feet 6 inches so it seemed to be logical to increase that to 20 feet to allow different manufacturers we kept the height at 10 which is perfect get over that you're getting to big box trucks these are just kind of large size large size vans I came for you tonight so you don't have to adjust your yes we did that with the other one the number of rooms in the ends 16 to 20 correct so we'll look at that one I couldn't out another 30 months thank you are you still looking at the commercial that one doesn't have your edges that was the next good so now we're looking for the rooms the number of rooms in the end yes I believe that's in definitions yep 20 is it all good any other concerns for supplement 44 alright ready for motion let's accept the draft yeah let's accept the draft language use that motion to warn planning commission public hearing on September 20th 2022 the proposed amendments to the Colchester development regulations known as supplement 44 and as reviewed and considered amended the evening of August 16th 2022 second discussion all in favor aye motion passes very good okay all of that will be warned public hearing any encourages I welcome to do that in writing in advance either directly or with myself I do always encourage anything especially before you have it in writing in reference to the actual public hearing perfect planning commission meeting schedule which will involve supplement 44 it's pretty good so schedule so you now have a public hearing for the 20th that is your second meeting in September your second regularly scheduled meeting your first regularly scheduled meeting would be the 6th I'm putting it out there I'll continue if you want to have a meeting and if so you'll have to tell me what you want on it I think we're good have anybody been prepared I think we're good that'll give you plenty of time to get up I didn't even pick up a tomato that's growing at you far away that's not why right to the 20th cancel your September 6th meeting yep we skip in the 6th go right to the 20th I get some time to finish everything up make sure you get all the typos Labor Day weekend yeah we're good so the next question for you you have the 20th that's the public hearing there will be nothing else on that agenda except that I think I also have an energy report from the town manager's office to share with you that we're other than that we're going to keep it to just the public hearing yep September 27th would be a delivery of that supplement assuming that you take action on the 20th you don't have to but should you take action on the 20th to approve it it would be to send that to the select board their very next meeting would be the 27th I encourage at least one person I'll be there probably to to attend to represent the planning commission to deliver it at they wouldn't have a public hearing that night of course they may just accept it they may take questions they may talk about it all the way through but it's important for them to receive it that night if they take any action it would be to warn it for an October hearing if they choose to take that action given the newspaper warning dates and all of our legal requirements it would be an October 25th select board public hearing yep with that in mind moving along on my little dots here October 4th is your regular planning commission meeting I would encourage you to figure out if you'd like to have a meeting then if you think about that between now and September the 20th of course I think obviously if you have not taken action on the 20th that they didn't probably have a good life for you at your regular meeting you can decide to continue from the 20th so I guess what I'm saying is hold your social calendar but there's certainly not much new business for you I don't think that you've shared that you'd like to get this sort of packed away a little more before you open up something new does that still seem accurate? yep you know the same thing with the 18th you'll still be ahead of where the select board would be in their public hearing so consider what you'd like to do there we could start to kick off it could be a good meeting to talk about we're getting into the details but agenda setting I have a fourth of the 18th I encourage you to do some agenda setting project prioritization there were some things that you did kick from spring to the fall take some final action on what you'd like yeah nothing new has come in for your review no new zoning amendment requests you know we talked about twice a year spring and fall I don't have anything that's come in as I say that I'll get a fourth tomorrow I don't have anything at this time for that you know same thing select board public hearing on the 25th it would be good if one or two people I will of course be there as well answer the questions represent the select board and then we're into November we're all going to be wearing sweaters so what's your time? sure yes I think so so I'm just wondering like those times that we're not meeting as a select board when should we be meeting and what with those agendas yeah I think you know going for my 11 months of experience with you you did have a presentation by the town manager's office last fall for the annual energy report we received that I think we took a vote to accept it again some questions talked about it but I think that most of the proactive work is usually done by staff members and then there's direction or relation to anything that's in the capital plan so I do have a report that I'm going to and I think we'll follow that up with maybe a presentation on the town manager's office can we just get an update where we are I'll definitely have an update for you I actually got it today but I couldn't put it on your agenda without proper warning so I have at least a written report and then you guys could read it so I'll have that on for the 20th you guys could read it and determine whether or not you want to have a member of the staff present it to you the 20th the 20th, a little bit after the public hearing yeah after the public hearing because the public hearing is going to take time that's going to be the whole read through and public hearings have to be held at a time certain so we'll do it after okay no that's good I don't know how much to present to you at night but I have a memo for you to read and then you could determine hey I'd really like to know more about this have somebody talk to us about it if you like anything else Kathy do we have some minutes to go over quickly by way of staff notes I just want to alert you that our department is now short one member of our staff has left us we will be advertising soon so just but I ever need to ask you guys this but I do appreciate as we do have a short staff during a very busy time of the year for us so it's a high permitting time for the summer usually and we'll be reaching out so if you know anybody great send in my way the job should be posted very soon can we just clear up the dates that we're not meeting so I think you just decided to skip September 6 so you can remove that you were going to hold October 4 but I think the direction was no meeting unless something came out of the select order receipt that was where somewhere you continued to public hearing for anyway but you would hold it not joining the pickleball league but there may not be a meeting it sounds like October 18th maybe a good time to have a meeting to talk about maybe some scheduling we'll keep it light and it'll just be prioritization of projects the things that we talked about before like performing as code and anything else that you really are feeling strongly you want to start to work on and part of your next supplement there's always another supplement and you're going to get right into it so for the 18th I think I'll be out of the state is there any way I could just listen in on Zoom not I don't need to participate but if I could just listen into the meeting that's not too much trouble no we probably still do it with Zoom we just don't turn the camera on so it's still probably the easiest way okay thank you all good thank you you need a motion for a minute I'll make a motion to adjourn no immersion for a minute oh for a minute yeah that's right make a motion for a minute I wasn't here for the last meeting so I can't do anything for a minute I need a second we'll discuss it alright now we need to now we need to discuss it was to clarify that it was not a short order restaurant that I wanted okay you could just take I mean you don't need to have to take it up I just want to clarify it was just a restaurant or a small restaurant but not short order I think by saying it here that puts it onto the record okay great thank you alright all in favor bye now I'll make a motion to adjourn hold on you all good okay you need a second second all in favor bye meeting's adjourned it's always I'm always Bob


Uh, we have had some technical problems. Initialized sequence. I'm gonna sound a little tired this morning. And if I do, I apologize, but I worked out all night in my own dreams with Richard Simmons. And I'm like exhausted. I'm a little queasy, too, because it was Richard Simmons. What do you all thought? You're on the air. Thank you, morning. Morning. You're requesting an apology? No, an apologetic. I am really sorry for whatever it is I did that offended you. Uh, I humbly, I humbly place myself at your feet and ask an, what? He wants to hear the apologetics. Well, why didn't you, apologetics, why didn't you say so? Really, I apologize for not realizing that you're asking for apologetics. And I humbly present myself and bow at your feet and ask you to forgive me for not understanding you that you wanted to hear apologetics. So if it's 101QF, I'm a parlor in the morning. Hey! You are not getting interrupted again.  We got some to celebrate. No. That's right. You're the producer. I discovered a new food. I don't care. I don't care.  I don't care about a new food. It came down all the way down the hall, you know. You can walk to the show. You can walk to the show after this guy. I was cleaning out my desk and I noticed a bunch of papers and some things crumpled up and all those gooey stuff on it. It turns out it was some old pencil erasers or something like that that they melted, you know. And you know me. Well, I popped that sucker right in my mouth. Now, a little bit of salt. It needed some salt, but it was kind of chewy. It was sort of good. It got me to thinking, man, you got all those pencil erasers out there going to waste.  Yeah. So what the hey?  I had to use a little bit of that nonstick coating on the pan because I had a big smoky kitchen. It was a big mess the first time. But the second batch, I sprayed some of that stuff in there. I cooked them right up and they're delicious. I worked it on eraser pasta with tomato sauce. I'm going to call it eraseroni. Yeah. Really chewy stuff. Chef Boyardee, eat your heart out. I get it. I get it. Yeah. See you later. I'm hungry. I can't believe I bought into that. I told you that we brought back a little puppy from Wyoming. She's a little toy poodle. We have a German shepherd. We tried to introduce the two of them when we got back. Brandy, the little toy poodle, is terrified of stormy. And we were hoping, we're going to just try to, I don't know. You got this little bitty dog.  Right. So hopefully they'll end up being friends. We were hoping that stormy would be kind of motherly toward Brandy and everything. And stormy hasn't, she didn't try to pounce on Brandy or anything, but it's just the sight and bark of stormy just terrifies Brandy to death. Well, this story is even more unusual. A Michigan dog has taken two kittens as her own. Wait a minute. Did you say two kittens? Two kittens. A Michigan dog has taken two kittens as her own. Queen and Bill Sheriff of Edwardsburg says their shih tzu is nursing two stray kittens. The sherfs say, she's nursing them. Okay. The sherfs say Gisha girl has always wanted puppies, even mothering a toy dog. The Gisha girl never had a litter. After taking in the kittens, the dog started lactating within a weird, that is very weird. Veterinarians say such false pregnancies do occasionally occur. The sherfs plan to find a home for the kitties after their wings. I didn't know that was even possible. I didn't either. If you haven't had, I thought that was just like a natural reaction to giving childbirth. Yeah. Wow. That would be so cool, though. Can you imagine getting this cat that was raised by a dog? It would think it's a dog. Here, Miss Kitty. Go fetch the paper. Roll over. Play dad. Okay now. Speak, Kitty. Woof, woof. Marla in the morning, the morning show that's family-friendly. QFL, you're on the air. Hey, I was wondering, do you know where the 12 days of Christmas actually came from? Was it because there was religious persecution in England? At a certain point, they weren't allowed to teach their children the Bible openly, and so they did it under the guise of, you know, symbolism. Yeah. Actually, it wasn't the Bible, it was the Catholic Catechism. Do they really represent something, or did somebody want to try to put spiritual significance into the song, and so after it was already written and after it became popular, they decided to come up with it? That's an excellent question. I wonder if there's some kind of Anglo-Historian or something like that that could help us answer that. Yeah, because we've got a lot of Anglo-Historians listening to what I want you to do in the morning show. Anglophiles. Okay. Condoleezza Rice has settled right in to her new job as Secretary of State, and today she announced that the Bush administration would begin peace talks with Michael Moore, Barbara Streisand, and Anne Martin-Sheen. Convicted by Dandra. That's what Andrew Pearson can tell his cellmates after he was sentenced to 12 years for armed robbery. The key evidence, 25 flakes of dandruff found in a stocking Pearson war for a mask during a robbery 11 years ago. Pearson was arrested in June after DNA testing matched his dandruff with a swap of cis saliva. Based on the evidence, it took drawers just 75 minutes to convict him. Wow. Now, the good news, though, is that when he gets out of prison, he's already been asked to do a before and after commercial for head and shoulders. See, hi. My name is Andy. I used to be an unsuccessful robber, but now I use head and shoulders, and I'm much more effective in my job. And I won't be convicted again because of an itchy scalp. You had that news story about dandruff just a couple seconds ago. Right. Actually, I saw a commercial the other day for dandruff when it comes to dandruff medicine. Oh, really? And I look for stuff like that because that... I'm not ashamed to admit that dandruff has always been a problem for me, at least a little bit. And so it strikes me when I see something about it. Well, I found funny on this commercial, and it's the same way with all the other commercials. It's the side effects for all of these commercials. Oh. They spend... You get a 30-second commercial, 10 seconds of it is talking about how wonderful it is, and then they have to spend the last 20 seconds saying, Oh, by the way, it's going to do all these other things possibly to you. They cause foaming at the mouth and giving birth to golden retriever-headed babies. I actually heard that in a comedy skit. Well, I mean, the whole reason that you want... Well, for the dandruff, and the whole reason that you want the dandruff medicine is because you want to look your best. Yes. And dandruff, for the most part, can blow your self-esteem. Sure. So the side effects of this drug, if I heard it correctly, halitosis, body odor, rash, and abdominal cramps. So your confidence is boosted with good hair, but then you're dealing with bad breath, BO, you're constantly scratching somewhere on your body and you're always looking for a restroom. I feel more confident with the dandruff and the ball cap. A teaching assistant at Northeast Tacoma Elementary School in Washington was reprimanded for giving some preschoolers dog food to eat during a play-acting exercise. The kids were on their hands and knees barking and pretending to be puppies. I just thought of something funny. One time, on a long car trip, my little brother, who was just probably about three or four years old at the time, started pretending to be a dog and he stayed in the role of the dog for so long that we were starting to get a little worried about him. Did he just take his head out the window? Yes, he just stayed in the role. I don't know, does he really think he's a dog? Anyway, when you took him to the bathroom, did he have to roll around the tree a couple of times? Anyway, the kids... Was he able to scratch the back of his neck with his foot? I don't even remember what this story was about that I was reading out. Kids, lady pretending making the kids pretend they're dogs. They were on their hands and knees barking and pretending to be puppies, so the woman gave the kids dry dog food to make it more realistic.  But now the woman is in trouble for revealing the cafeteria's secret meatloaf ingredients. One and one QFL. QFL, you're on the air. Hey, you know what? What? You said you're not everybody's cup of tea. Yeah. And you're not everybody's cup of coffee? Yes. But you are everybody's crispy cream donut. I'm not sure if that's a compliment or what is that? I don't know what it is either. Are you saying I'm brown? Is that what you're saying? That I'll hollow on the inside? That I have nothing inside to share? Is that what you're saying? She's saying you're sugary sweet. It's time now for 101 QFL's moment of DA. And saving money on travel expenses, that ends up as a parental moment of DA. A couple in Russia, they were trying to avoid buying a train ticket for their daughter by putting her in a suitcase. Well, they were found out when the case was stolen. How old was this child? It doesn't say. That's crazy. Well, the kid's got to be small enough to fit into a suitcase. That is crazy. I mean, you hear people joking about that every once in a while. I'll just stick my suitcase, throw it in the overhead compartment. Or I've joked about it for myself, although it would never be a big suitcase.  Right. Right. Apparently, here's the reason you don't do that. Number one, it's illegal. But number two, you could get your suitcase stolen at which point you got kidnapping on your hands.  There you go. Three years old. She was found on a Moscow street after the crooks let her out. They did, however, keep the suitcase. The couple agreed to be better parents after that and get therapy as soon as the railroad officials helped them find the steamer trunk with grandma in it. The Sun reports that Americans spend a whopping six hours a day gossiping. No way. That is so, I don't believe that a bit. Six hours? I could believe an hour. I could, maybe, but six hours, no.  But that's the findings of an independent national poll from all 50 states about the time they spend dishing dirt. And not surprisingly, women gossip more than men, logging in six and a half hours daily, talking to friends about subjects from their husband to celebrities to other friends. I'm still scratching my head over six and a half hours daily. I don't spend an hour on the phone a day with anyone talking about anything. I know I have a sheltered life, but oh my gosh. But it says men aren't exactly silent. The guys put in an average of five and a half hours. This has got to be wrong. It's got to be wrong. Talking about, you know, gossiping, I guess, their subjects were most likely to be their bosses, co-workers, and sports figures. It's hard to believe. Six hours a day? Yeah. You know, I picked up my National Inquirer yesterday and I didn't see any story like that in the National Inquirer. You didn't? Or the Sun. Or the Sun. I got them all. Men breaking bricks with their fists, snapping baseball bats to pieces, and Darren Marlar ripping a phone book in half with his bare hands. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Say that again. And Darren Marlar ripping a phone book in half with his bare hands. Man, that has got to be a typo. Are you sure that's what that says? Hey, that's what it says right here. I just, yeah, I just say what they give me to read, Marlar. I'm in big trouble. It's 101 QFL night at the Metro Center with the Rockford Ice Hogs. February 25th. Be there as the Rockford Ice Hogs take out the Missouri River Otters at 7.05. And before the game, hang out for 101 QFL night with special guest speakers, men of strength, and Marlar ripping a phone book in half. I really wish you'd stop saying that. That should be good. We'll see what a wimpy really is. I just added that. 101 QFL night with the Ice Hogs. Need new equipment for your church's sanctuary? Need to raise money for a mission trip or for your youth group? Team up with the Ice Hogs and sell tickets to 101 QFL night for February 25th. Call the Ice Hogs today at 986-6465. 986-6465. It's 101 QFL night with the Ice Hogs. February 25th at the Metro Center. For more information, go to 101QFL.com from Positive Hits. 101 QFL. Hi, Darren. Hey. You didn't tell me what phone book. Maybe it's like, you know, New Milford. Put five pages in something new. I've had a lot of people call and suggest really small ones. In fact, somebody just called and suggested the Shepherd's Guide. Yeah. Why do you want to say that? I'm not even sure what I would see. Cool. I think I could do the Shepherd's Guide. I think that one I could rip. I think I could do the Shepherd's Guide. I was actually calling to reduce the rates there yesterday. To reduce the rates? Yes, sir. Is this like a 10-10-1-4-6-9-8-5-2-1 plus the area code than the number type of dialing thing? No, sir, it isn't. Oh, it isn't. Okay.  No, sir. I didn't know that either.  You're stuck. Oh, man, check that out. What kind of a really cool deal are you giving us? $59.99. I'll limit it local long distance plus your features. All right. Now, just between you and me, and I'll make sure nobody knows what company you're with, but just between you and me, do you have a cell phone? No, sir, I don't. You don't? You are loyal to your company, aren't you? Because you can do the free long distance with your cell phone like all day long. I hear that. You don't need you. Oh, man. You're going to be out of business here soon, man. You need to get with, like, Nextel or something.  How about radio sales? You want to work for radio sales? No, I'm fine. Well, here's the thing. Say we sell air time, which is like nothing. We're selling like air. You're selling what? Telephone wavelengths? You're selling kind of like nothing, too. You can come here. You can work for us, man. I mean, I do pretty good here. I appreciate that, though. Well, we're Christian Radio. You make diddly squat here. In fact, that's the way it actually says it on the paycheck. It says diddly squat. Pay to the order of Darren diddly squat. Oh, man. That's terrible. Well, actually, now you've reached the on-air studio. If you're wanting to talk to somebody that's really going to actually listen to you and respect your call, you'll need to call our office line. Okay. What number is that? That number is<PHONE_NUMBER>. Thank you. You got it, man. You have a great day. How about this guy? He sang this particular song, the loveboat theme, Jack Jones. Jack Jones. I feel free to sing along if you'd like to. Exciting and new. I'm going to say Jack is 70. He is 67. All right. Wow. You can find us online at 101qfl.com and the Marler in the morning page. While you're there, sign up for the Marler sheet. It's our daily e-mail newsletter that we send out immediately after the show. QFL, you're on the air. Hey, Dad.  You hate me? Yes, because a couple hours ago, you played a clip from the loveboat, and now that thing is stuck in my mind, and I don't know what I'm thinking about all day long. I'm sorry. You have musical cranial impactments, don't you? Absolutely. And it'll probably be stuck there all afternoon now. How can I get rid of that for you? Well, you can play anything by date. That would help. How about the freeze company theme? We could do that.   Oh, yeah. We are waiting for you. Thank you very much. Now you just replace one with the other. All right. I'll throw in Jake for you.  We are waiting for you. We are waiting for you. Is it true that falling in love can actually be bad for your health? Well, believe it or not, the psychologist magazine, they're saying that falling in love could potentially be a fatal disease. Yeah. All right. Well, here's their rationale on this. Of course, I'm not buying a second of it, but London psychologist Frank Tallis, he said that a lot of the symptoms of love sickness can be explained in clinical terms. Elevated mood and inflated self-esteem. Those are signs of mania. Tearfulness and insomnia are depression symptoms. Constantly checking your email. That is an aspect of obsessive-compulsive disorder in your broken heart. I can make people suicidal. He said it's time that doctors take love sickness seriously as a diagnosis and treat it like any other complaint. Uh-oh. I just thought of something. What if you are an incurable romantic? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If love is a disease, shouldn't the insurance companies be paying for our Valentine's dates then? 101QFL, you're on the air. I was calling to say Mary, did you know? Did I know what? Can you say the song? Can I play what song? Mary, did you know? Did I know what? You know that joke only works if my name's Mary. Yeah. Did you name Mary? Uh, no. Okay. I am a bit Mary today, though. That never stopped Darren, though. One of the moons of Saturn. The pictures show that the clouds above Titan are most likely methane and dark areas on the surface are liquid methane. Meaning the moon might once have been inhabited by large cows. And in an effort to bring some pride to his homeland of Turkey, 38-year-old Ilker Yilmaz decided to challenge Canadian Mark Moral's 8.7-foot world record for... Sorry. PBGB time. Yes, squirting milk out of his eye. Oh, you've seen that done before, haven't you? No, no. Oh, you've never seen that? No, no. Well, they had a guy at Ripley's, believe it or not, that did it a few years back. It's freaky. Oh, okay. You can't read it, can you? No. No, you have to read it. Sorry. It just makes me sick. All right, hold on. We'll be fine to start. Okay, all right, here we go. No, no, no, no, no. In an effort to bring some pride to his homeland of Turkey, a 15-year-old Ilker Yilmaz, or however you pronounce his name, decided to challenge Canadian Mark Moral's 8.7-foot world record for squirting milk out of his eye. So exploiting what's been called an anomaly in his tear gland, he sucked milk in his nose. Pinched. I don't know why this is so sick. All right, anyway. I don't know why, but it is turning like this. Okay, anyway, he sucked milk up in his nose.  He's now waiting on official confirmation and recognition from the Guinness Book of World Records. You know, once that happens, all hail Turkey, the eyeball, milk squirting capital of the world! Yeah, I just figured, my name is Chef Park. I wanted to give you a little heads up. Last week, you and Cindy were talking about those annoying things that people do at movies. You were talking about the kid that has the pop that gets down to the absolute bottom of it and doesn't stop. Yes. We went to go see a movie last Tuesday and I've never had it happen and all the years I've gone to movies, never had it. I had three kids behind us and that's all they did. Entirely through the movie, they said there's a slurp on that thing and there's nothing left. So hearing that on the radio jinxed you, right? Yeah. I don't understand why people do that. When you hear that sound, it means your coke is gone. There's no reason to continue making sound. Yeah. We turned around and looked at them and they put their cup down and then a couple minutes later they pick it back up and do it again. Like miraculously, coke will appear in the cup later on. Exactly. Yeah. But it was just so funny how we never had it happen and here we hear you talk about on the radio and we go in and there it goes. See, I have a lot of influence in this town. Yeah, I see that. It's negative, apparently. Today is start your own country day. That would be fun. I think we should make a list of new laws for our new country. One that I heard not too long ago from somebody else and I think it'd be a great law. Your license plate should also be your cell phone number. So anybody that's in front of you that's acting really, really dumb, all you gotta do is give them a call and say, hey, it's a paddle on the right, buddy. There have been times I so wanted to say something to somebody. Are you waiting for another shade of green on the light? QFL, you're on the air. Families have to eat dinner together every night at the dinner table. Families must eat dinner together. Yeah. Okay, now. That's a lost art. Can we have the TV on? No. No? No. What are we going to do? Well, off the table. That's it. You gotta get your conversation. That's where you talk about your day. Well, can't you talk about Judge Judy? Why QFL, you're on the air. What do you think? Morning, Marlar. Good morning. I think we should definitely be able to have only wholesome television. What TV shows would still make it, then? Probably nothing, but TV. I'm calling about the law for the country. Yes, you got one to suggest? I do. I think that the Ten Commandments and the name of the Lord our God should be able to be spoken and read anywhere, anytime, anyplace. Amen. Amen. Hi, hey, are you still finding out stuff about E.B. and the monarch and making all the rules? Laws for our new country. Yes, my lady. This would be a Lady Marlar monarch, by the way. Okay, well, this is the one that I think should be there. If you're going to be the monarch, can I be like a Melda Marcos and have a thousand pairs of shoes?  Like Yahtzee or Scrabble. Sorry. Sorry. I love sorry when I was growing up. Although sorry can get everybody mad at each other, you know? You used the word of the game a lot when playing the game, didn't ya? Yeah. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to do that to ya. You didn't do that to ya. Yes, you did.  Because most of the time, you have an option.  You can knock somebody else off. You never liked me. Sorry, flashbacks there to the Marlar household. Holidays that make you go. Friday, January 7th. And today is old rock day. I have no idea what that means unless it's about music. Old rock music? That's the only thing I can think of. Old rock music. Which we're not going to be playing any of. Well, you know there's a lot of old geezers now in rock music. I mean you got Steven Tyler and Paul McCartney and... Still rocking like they did in the past. Still just as popular. You know I can foresee the day when there's like 75 year old men. You know what scares me is the day is eventually going to come where we are going to be like great grandparents. And our grandchildren are going to come over and let me play a tune with that old music that I grew up with. Yeah. That stuff you're listening to. That stinks. But let me listen. Let me have you listen to some of my Snoop Dogg. I'll tell you this is some really good stuff. That's going to be oldies one of these days. I know, isn't that bizarre? That is scary. The oldies stations are going to be playing rap music. And you know what else? We'll look back on the music that was so cool now and we'll go oh that was so corny. You know? A shizzle. Coming up I have our moment of duh and it's talking about a guy who you know his pickup lines trying to pick up women. Yeah. Have guys ever, you know like when you were growing up did they ever really do that to you? The really cheesy lines. Not really because I was I was a pastor's daughter and people were afraid to give me cheesy lines. I don't know. So I didn't really, really experience that. Very rarely. I try to think of some of them like the real corny ones I've ever heard. Like do you even love at first sight? Or should I walk by again? Yeah, yeah. If I was in charge of the alphabet that I'd put me, I and you together. Pretty lame stuff. Marlar in the morning. The morning show to save for the whole family. You can check us out online at 101qfl.com. Alright it's time now for today's moment of duh. And before we go into the actual story I had asked you Cindy if you'd ever had you know pickup lines thrown at you. I couldn't think of any. Being a reverend's daughter. People are going to be a little discouraged from coming up to that stuff like that. And I can understand that. That would make sense. Well just a few real corny ones here before we hit the story itself just to see if any of these you've heard of you have a bandaid because I just scraped my knee falling for you. Do you have a map? Because honey I just keep getting lost in your eyes. Oh brother. How can people actually find these effective at all? Girl you've got to be tired because you've been running through my minds all day. I've heard that one. Help something's wrong with my eyes. I just can't take them off of you. I mean they're kind of cute I guess. Yeah. These are more like something you'd see on a little Valentine's park. Exactly. Your eyes are bluer than the Atlantic Ocean and baby I'm all lost at sea.  You add meaning to my life. And what's your father? An alien?  Just a few corny lines there. Those are corny balls. That would be individual moments of death if you ever decided to use those. But today's moment of death story goes completely beyond that. Check out this chaos. A 25 year old Brent Brown of Newcastle, Delaware. He robbed an 18 year old Domino's pizza delivery woman while he was while she was out delivering a pizza. When she arrived at the door Brent and a couple of his buddies surrounded her and took her cash and two pizzas. But then Brent felt bad so he so bad he decided to call her up on his cell phone and ask her out on a date. Oh my goodness. She turned him down of course. But was very happy to turn over his cell phone number to the police and they made quick work of tracking him down and picking him up. So of course it didn't take him long to give up his two buddies either. But Brent, if you had the right pickup line you could have worked for your buddies. Their biggest sales day of the year for pizza. Super Bowl Sunday. Biggest, biggest day. In fact I've got the top five here and we'll see if maybe you can figure out who the five are. 101 QFL, we are still looking for a winner. All right, Christmas Eve? No. Don't do... How about Thanksgiving? No. You gotta call back now. You can't keep guessing after... Darren Marlar Day. That's number six actually. And that's number seven. That comes right after Marlar Day. Don't hit. 20 year old Prince Harry. I heard about this. He started lying to the British throne. He went to a costume party dressed in a Nazi uniform in swastika armband. No excuse for that. Very insensitive. After a picture appeared on the front page of the London Sun, total public outrage ensued. Of course now everyone from politicians, anti-fascist groups and Jewish human rights organizations are going to be apologized, but that doesn't seem to be enough. Many groups want him to publicly and openly apologize on radio and TV. Former royal press officer Dicky Arbiter urged, said, it is just not good enough to behave like that. We all know history, and at 20 there is no excuse. I heard that there was supposedly an accident, but I saw this story on the news last night. I can't... I just can't understand something here. How can this be an accident? Where exactly does one go to get the money? They're not just hanging on the racks in costume shops anywhere. There was some thought put into this costume, and now I think it's all spin control. I think the queen should give him the maximum punishment available and force him to have plastic surgery so his ears look like his father's. And this is just silly. A ghost has been arrested for rather than the woman responsible for walking around an old castle in Italy and making ghost noises, as been. The 42-year-old Polish woman was caught after the owner of the castle come hotel alerted police. The owner said squeaking floorboards, slam doors, footsteps, and eerie moans had been scaring off guests for weeks. But the ghost turned out to be the wife of an employee at the castle who was angry at the way the owner was treating her husband. High-tech video surveillance equipment captured the lady doing her dirty work once in jail for harassment. Quiet, it's sold woman withers from the Haunted Amusement Park.  Hey, tell me. Scooby Scooby Doo looking for you Scooby Scooby Doo where are you? Email, we got email. We got your email. I don't know why, I always find that cute. A subject line possible reason for waking up. You and I were talking earlier this morning about the fact that we had a hard time sleeping all night through the night. We've been waking up in the middle of the night, can't get back to sleep, don't know why. Well, here's one concept on this. Darren, I have a possible answer for your early morning dilemma. Is it just possible that God is waking you up to pray? Just a thought? Is God even awake at two o'clock in the morning to listen to my prayer? Actually, that's what I've been doing. If I can't get back to sleep after two o'clock, I usually spend that time praying. Usually it's praying for God, please let me get back to sleep. Doctors in Ukraine say they can't find anything wrong with a 63-year-old man who claims he hasn't slept for more than two decades. I would love that. Well, it would be good to be able to get by without sleep, but I love sleep. I think it's one of the most wonderful things to do is just have a really good sleep. Doctors don't know what's causing the man's insomnia. They've tried to put him to sleep, but nothing has worked.  The only problem, though, is that now he owns every product that's ever been advertised on late-night television. 101QFL, you're on the air. Hi, I'm calling about the Christmas gift. I have a good one for the prankster on your list. It's just a fun one. Oh, really? Yes, and this is a little tradition for us now. And what we do is we wrap up like this.  You're getting nothing for Christmas, but some snowman poop. And it's so fun. We actually just did that to our youth pastor because her birthday's in December, and she was, like, so, like, going to be really funny and open her package. She opened it in marshmallow spoo everywhere. Jeff Tweedon of Seattle is so anxious to see Star Wars Episode 3. He's already camping in front of the Cinerama Theater in freezing weather to be first in line. Wait a minute. When does Star Wars Episode 3 come out? Not for 22 weeks, and he's not even sure that it's going to play at the Cinerama. I didn't really even know there was a Star Wars Episode 3 coming out. This is the last one. This is where he actually becomes Darth Vader, and he's looking forward to it. I haven't seen any trailers for that. Well, probably because it's 22 weeks away. Well, Jeff Tweedon, he did the same thing for the last Star Wars movie, and he said, a lot of people say, get a life, but Star Wars is about independence and freedom, and that's really what this weight is about. Right, yeah, it's independence and freedom from employment. And now our feature presentation, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back mini-movie. I have to go to Dagobah. Use the force, young Skywalker. Use the force you must. Okay, now I have to go to Cloud City. After you go to the dark side. No, I don't. All you got to do is fill in the blank in this actual tabloid headline. If you get it right, you get something cool out of the marler in the morning, bucking a junk, meaning you get to choose your own prize, and here it is. The cop gives blank a DUI ticket. Cop gives blank a DUI ticket. How about priest? Priest is not what I'm looking for. Good try, though. Thanks. All right, thank you. 101QFL. Yeah, is that cop gives a dog? A dog? That's not what I'm looking for, but that would be a great headline. That would be funny. That's a good try. Thank you. 101QFL. Mom. Oh, no, there's a new one. Cop gives mom a DUI ticket. That's not what we're looking for, but that would be funny. All right. I appreciate it. Thank you. Cop gives blank a DUI ticket. QFL, you're on the air. An animal? Maybe a monkey? No, it's not a monkey. 101QFL, you got an answer for tabloid match game? Yeah, is it sheriff or something like that? What do you mean, or something like that? You got to be got to be somewhat specific. Okay, cop gives sheriff DUI. No, it is not sheriff. But that was a good one. Appreciate it. All right, thank you. 101QFL. Cop gives blank a DUI ticket. Do you have an answer for me? How about horse? Horse? Not what we're looking for. Not what we're looking for. Appreciate it though. Thank you. 101QFL. None? N-U-N? Oh, as in like a female priest, none. That is not that's not the answer, but that's a good one. It's a good try. Thank you. 101QFL. Good morning. I have an answer for you. Do you have the right answer for me? I certainly hope so. Okay, cop gives blank a DUI ticket. Clown. Clown? No. It was good for a let-off. Clown's usually are, but that's not what we're looking for. Okay, thanks. All right, thanks. 101QFL. How about cop gives himself? Exactly! Yes! Did you have to look that up? I would have guessed that. No, I was just like, what would sound really stupid? Yes! A cop gives himself a DUI ticket. I'll have the whole story for you. Coming up here in a few minutes to let everybody know how that exactly happened. What's your name? Tracy. Tracy. Wow, congratulations to you. You get to pick out your own prize out of the Marlar in the Morning Bucket of Junk. Although I will admit that your answer, Cindy, was probably the best. The one alien? Cop gives space alien. If it's in the tabloid. I mean, you see those tabloids at the checkout thing at the grocery store with President Bush talking to aliens. Right, it could have been Batboy. That little Batboy thing. What is that? Do you know what I'm talking about? No. I spent way too much time looking at the tabloids at the grocery store. Okay then. With Marlar in the Morning, it was a friendly morning show and tabloid match game earlier was Cop gives blank a DUI ticket. The answer was Cop gives himself a DUI ticket. I got to hear this story. Here's the situation on it. Weekly World News. Keep in mind this is a tabloid. How true this is, you never know, but sometimes some interesting stuff gets in there. The Weekly World News says that a Louisiana cop wrote a ticket to himself. I was out patrolling one night and I had a few. Highway Patrol Officer Rodney Weaver says when suddenly I saw a car on the freeway swerving from side to side. I thought, wow, that guy is drunk. And then I realized, hey, that's me. So I thought, well, I can't let me drive like that. So I pulled myself over and asked, do you know why I pulled you over? And then I answered myself, why don't you tell me? Well, I didn't like my attitude. So I wrote myself a ticket. You don't have a conversation like that. You've got to have a little alcohol in your system. Well, when he sobered up, Weaver says that he couldn't believe what he had just done. And now here's the real twist on this one. Weaver is now trying to get his DUI dismissed on the grounds that he was inebriated at the time that he wrote it up. Oh, come on. Here's what he says. He says, quote, I plan on telling the judge that he should be thrown out because the officer who wrote the ticket, now keep in mind that's him, the officer who wrote the ticket was drunk and his judgment can't be trusted. If he was that drunk, then he did deserve the ticket. Right, but he was inebriated at the time, so the police officer who wrote the ticket was drunk. And that would make a powerful argument in court, except for the fact that he's I don't know. I have no idea. Here is a complete lack of respect for the law. And a billionaire CNN founder, Ted Turner compared the popularity of Fox News Network to the rise of Hitler. A Fox News spokesman. I heard this. I read this quote the other day and I loved it. Quote of the day. Oh, man. Ted is understandably bitter, said this spokesperson, having lost his ratings, his network, and now his mind. We wish him well.  Yeah. Kind of like. Ted Turner. Yeah, Marlar in the morning. You better the no cursing zone. And I don't do it very often because I don't think it's a great idea for me just to get angry all the time on the air. I don't want to be, hey, it's that angry man on QFL. But sometimes you come across a story that is just so totally outrageous. I could not believe this one when I saw it yesterday. I really thought that this was one of those have to check it out on snopes.com type of story. Yeah. More insanity from the zero intelligence policies of our government. Our government school zero tolerance policy. I'm already going to get bad. First line in. Here we go. OK, actually from the public schools at Matthews Elementary School in Syxton, Missouri. A first grade girl has found herself in a lot of trouble. She was playing with a plastic bag she found on the playground. Six year old Michaela Boyd used the bag to gather up some of nature's goodies, mostly grass and dirt was really all it was. And she invented she wanted to give that to a classmate as a present because I guess six year olds feel that's an appropriate gift. Unfortunately, her highly oversensitive and paranoid teacher immediately assumed that this was a bag of marijuana. Oh my goodness. Six year old girl walking around, she's been playing in the dirt, it's just, that's not grass as in marijuana, it's grass is in grass. Right. And yet the teacher automatically assumes the worst turns it into the principal and I get this. When the higher ups of the school realize that it was just dirt they gave Michaela two days of in school detention for making and I kid you not, this is the way they say it they give it attention for making a look alike drug. No. Yes. Did the little girl even have any idea what they were talking about? Not a clue. That's not a clue. They say this is going to have to go on her quote unquote permanent school record. Of course, her mom Michelle Boyd is completely outraged at this and I can understand why and she says that the school is not going to reverse their decision. The school says they're not going to reverse their decision. This is, if this isn't a totally outrageous story, I don't know what is, but it also brings to mind whatever happened to that whole permanent record thing and has it ever come up in your entire life? I don't think so. This is going on your permanent school record. Yeah. Never, not once, unless the FBI has that off in some quarter somewhere, I've never seen or heard or been asked for my permanent school record. So let me get this straight. She's six years old and she gives a bag of dirt and grass to a friend and she gets suspended for making a look alike drug. Exactly. So what happens if she trades lunch with a friend? Is she going to get suspended for pushing nutritional supplements? I think the teacher, if we're thinking that a six year old was making marijuana, maybe they've been doing something that you know, the whole thing that it reminds me of is when I was probably about that age, I was playing in the dirt with some friends and we were making like mud pies or whatever. I got so caught up in my little play acting that I actually took a bite of the dirt and then I was so into the role and I remember running into the house telling my mom, Mom, I swallowed dirt, I swallowed dirt, you know and she gave me something, I don't know phenomint or something to try to help me get around a bit but but you know little kids play in the dirt little kids make mud pies yeah and so giving a little gift of dirt to a friend while it sounds silly to us it's a compliment. Exactly. It's a compliment. It's like, I love you, here's some dirt. Exactly. And now another useless fact. This just in dinosaur bones have been found by workers digging the foundation for a new drugstore. They probably belong to a Tyrannosaurus rexol. Good morning sir, how are you? Doing all right, how about you? Not too bad, I got a funny name for you, I got a good friend of mine that actually lives in this area. She married into it, but her first name is Anita at her last name in the shower. You're kidding. Anita's shower? Yeah, Anita's shower. And she married into that? Married into it. And she knew what she was getting into. As you know, if a girl starts dating a guy, she's gonna write out her new married name over and over and over again. Anita's shower is her new name through marriage. Does she not realize that you can keep your maiden name? By QFL, you're on the air. Good morning dear. Good morning. I have a niece named Raven. Raven, like the bird?  X has no idea why they need it. S as in Sam. No. And you're kidding. No. X and E is a name? That's what they call them. And his name is Zine, I think. Zine. Holy mackerel. I don't know where they came from. How old is this kid? He's probably about three now. Can you imagine what kind of torture this kid's gonna go through in school? I don't know. Man, Zine, X and there's no way the teachers are ever gonna get that one right on the first attempt. Right, right, and how many other kids are gonna be with an X? It'll be at the end of the alphabet forever? Sure enough, the school that he goes to will be teaching phonics. Right. This is a pretty amazing story. This lady in Hutchinson, Kansas doctors can't explain why Sarah Scantland has started talking for the first time in 20 years ever since she was hit by a drunk driver. It is sort of a miraculous story, it's pretty cool. Apparently she's recognizing people, she's talking normally. Until recently she was only able to communicate using eye blinks for yes or no. I think it's obvious why she began talking as well because her very first words was to ask somebody to change the television to something other than American Idol.   Unbelievable. It was not shut. I mean seriously painful to listen to. Actually one of the worst things I've ever heard. Extraordinarily awful.


Russian Army may collapse by the end of the year. Ben Hodges, retired US Army officer who served as commanding general in the United States Army, Europe, predicted Russian forces might collapse before the end of the year, succumbing to the battle of attrition in Ukraine according to Newsweek Outlet. Russia is being attrited at such a rate that they may collapse before the end of this year, assuming the West delivers in time what we've promised. War is a test of will and a test of logistics. Hodges tweeted in reference to an assessment by military expert Markus M. Kup, who leads the Department of Defense Economic at the Military Academy of the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology. Kup said in a recent interview with German news outlet T-Online that Ukrainian forces would soon have leverage in the war as the West continues to supply them with military aid and Russia loses more of its troops. The fight between Ukrainian and Russian forces has extended through major Ukrainian cities since the beginning of the war, including Kiev, Odessa and Kersen, with no end to the war in sight. Most recently Bakhmut in Ukraine's Donetsk region has been the site of a month's long intense battle between Russian and paramilitary forces against Ukrainian troops. During his interview with the German news outlet, Kup agreed that the battle in Bakhmut illustrates the meaning of war of attrition in reality. The military expert continued, just to classify the geographical area we are talking about. The front section in Bakhmut is 20 kilometers long, but the entire front from Kersen to Kharkiv is over 1,000 kilometers long. The dogged onslaught of the Russian units no longer has anything to do with military rationality.


This bootcamp takes you through several mathematical concepts and techniques that you need in order to do the introduction to statistics course. Here we are going to learn about a weighted average. Suppose you take three exams but they are not equally weighted. The first exam is worth 20% of the grade, exam two is worth 30% of the course grade and the final is worth 50% of the grade. Your weights are 20, 0.20, 0.30, and 0.50 and now we have one student whose grades were 100, 80, and 90. So how do we compute the average? We set it up in a table so you can see the grade, the weights and you can see the weighted average is now an 89. Notice if you use the symbols it is the sum of the wixi, wixi represents the weights and notice the average again is 89. You'll see it's not the same as a simple average. The table was nice and made things kind of simple but it's not very compact. Using summation notation for the weighted average is actually easier to do. Take a look you have the weights, you have the grades, turns out to be 89 exactly the same as what we had before. Here's a question. What formula would we use if we had all the same weights for the grades? If we were weighing them all the same in order to come up with a course average. Next slide we'll see that. Here we showed that we could use the same formula for a weighted average for the straight average because if we have three exam grades and they all have the same weight, we're talking about one third, one third, one third. It turns out that that average would be 90, not 89 as we had before when the final exam was worth more. We're talking one third, one third, one third as the weights is exactly the same as adding up all the grades and dividing by three. If you can't yet see that it's exactly the same, you should really go back before the course starts and review some of the basic math that you see here. To find more boot camp modules, visit the stat course at the URL you see there and go to the navigation bar on the left, click boot camp and you'll see all kinds of things that are good to do prior to the statistics course. Many of you have already done this before and maybe only need a refresher.


So I'm gonna be making a chocolate toffee cake today. We have a box chocolate cake mix We have chocolate fudge icing and of course the ingredients to make the cake vegetable oil and eggs Then I'm gonna be making a caramel sauce with three ingredients We have brown sugar heavy cream and butter then I have chocolate covered toffee heat bars and some chocolate bars So this is what I'm going to do. I'm gonna make the chocolate cake by the instructions Then I'm gonna make my caramel sauce I'm gonna put holes in the cake once it's cooled off about I Guess about 75% cold off and I'm gonna drizzle some caramel sauce in the middle of that cake Then I'm gonna ice it with the chocolate fudge Make sure you get chocolate fudge not milk chocolate. You want it rich? Then I'm going to chop up my heat bars and chocolate Crumble that up on top of the cake once it's ice and then I'm gonna drizzle some more caramel sauce on top Okay, so I'm gonna go ahead and make my caramel sauce making caramel sauce in my opinions fairly easy But may take a little bit of practice if you're not used to cooking so I'm using brown sugar You can also use white sugar I'm gonna put in one cup of brown sugar and to this saucepan right here point about two tablespoons of Water you can also use lemon you can also add vanilla if you want it to here Excuse me as you want it to caramelize so you have to watch it It's really easy to burn it do not walk away from the stove when you're doing this You want your eye to be on medium low. You don't want it too high. I'm gonna go ahead and add my water You don't want to touch this you don't want to stare it around You can move your pot around like this in a circle in motion, but you really don't want to touch it, okay? Because at this point you want to remove it from the eye and Then this is hard to do with one hand y'all. I'm gonna pour in Put in my butter put in my heavy cream To make it a little bit thicker Powdered sugar Just a little bit because it's already thick and now as it cools down. It's gonna get even thicker I'm gonna poke holes in this cake and I'm gonna drizzle the caramel sauce in I place in the caramel sauce in the Ziploc bag to make it easier to pipe in now you guys quick funny story I came with the idea with this cake or cake similar to this I used to make cakes one of my first drops here I will making cakes for everybody's birthday parties. I got tired of it So I say, you know, I'm gonna make the nastiest cake you could think of so I make this chocolate cake with a bunch of caramel sauce I had Reese's Pieces. I had Kit Kats. I had Snickers. I had toffee Then I put on chocolate. I mean I loaded it with a bunch of stuff Don't you know that these help us came back and said that that was the best cake they ever made I ever made them Excuse me. So yeah This is the candy boy on this is just chocolate and chocolate covered toffee doesn't this look good But I'm not done, baby. I'm a drizzle on that caramel sauce I'm using about half a cup of caramel sauce in between the cake and on top. Yes, it's gonna be pretty good You want to talk about rich and decadent? This cake is so good I wish I could cut into this but this is actually a gift from my doctor But thank you guys so much for watching. Take care. Bye


Hi everyone, Joe for Jaspy's CaseBreaks.com coming at you with 2019-2020 Panini Encased Basketball. Two box random team break number one from a fresh case as well. So one spot gets you two teams, all the teams are in. So big thanks everybody here for getting into the action. Let's double up the names here, there you go, all the teams are in. Let's roll it. Let's randomize it. One out of three, four times, one, two, three, and four. After four we got Roger down to Nick. One out of three, four times for the teams, one, two, three, and four. After four times we've got the My Lakers champions down to the Utah Jazz. There's the first half of the list right there, Eastwood with the Lakers, King with the Pelicans, Summon with the Celtics, Aaron with the Bulls, King with the Wizards, Jeremy with the Raptors, Aaron with the Nuggets, Robert with the Grizz, Callan with the Kings, Aaron with the Nets, Oliver you got the Timberwolves, Matthew with the Spurs, Jeremy with the Rockets, Robert with the Hawks, Nick with the Suns, Robert with the Pacers, Aaron with the Bucks, Roger with the Trailblazers, Robert with the Knicks, Nick with the Thunder.  I guess my head's in football mode, mode, mode now. Alright, while you're thinking about trades, let's pop this open. Let's see which two boxes we're going to do. Here he is, Brad. Snell is dealing. We've got game six of the World Series right now, folks. It looks to be a tight one. So, as you can see on the top camera, there's one, two, three, four, right? So we'll just go one, two, three, four on the dice roll. If I roll five or a six, I'll just roll a six. And that's a two. So we're going to do the second set of boxes right there. That one and that one. These we'll save for next time. And we'll put some green X's right here. So you know that they're all from the same case. And then maybe, unless we fill one up tonight, maybe if we fill out tomorrow, we'll just grab two random ones with green X's on them. Otherwise, we'll leave them back there in case we run one back tonight. There's a mouthful. Run one back. All right. Looks like no trade. So TWC trade window closed. Let's print. Let's, I should print before I rip. Oh, Pedro Valles. Dave Roberts playing for tomorrow. Valles will have to face the minimum of Zuninho, G-Man Choi, and then Aros Aranya. Let's use this blank card right here to slow play some of the hits. Like LeBron Jane, 43 out of 99. Champion LeBron Jane. There you go. Some more comfortable top loader here at Eastwood with the Lakers. There's Carmelo Anthony for the Trio Blazers. Nice relic there. Kind of like what they did with the, making it kind of look like the label on a graded card, 56 out of 99. Portland Mellow also going to Eastwood. Luka Donchich, relic. 007 out of 199, just 70 off his jersey number. Going to Dallas, next over. And Quendiri Weatherspoon, jersey and auto. Spurs, 60 out of 99. And we'll save this for last. Both the graded cards. Next one. We got another two boxer in the store too. If you want to run this back. Chasing Xions and John Moranson whatnot. You see the graded Xion in the picture of this product. We pulled that. So there could be more. Marcus Alder, 55 out of 99. Spurs, Matthew. Dreymond Green, 003 out of 199. Jersey, Summon with the Warriors. Aaron Gordon, 30 out of 199. Orlando Magic, Summon. Thank God. Okay, good. The buyer's out of there. And the last one here is an Emania Belitza. Belitza. Yalitza? Two out of 10. Belitza. Callan with the Kings. Quick little break here. Let's see what's in the first encased card. Sub-logan. And we've got a Cameron Johnson. 8, 5 and 10. Dual Relic and Autograph, 61 out of 99. That'll be for Nick Stover and Phoenix. And the last one here is Victor Gonzalez coming in. Victor Gonzalez is in the horror. We have a 9, 10. Kobe White, nice. Jersey and Autograph for the Bulls. 15 out of 99 already graded for you. Taking the hassle out of the whole grading process. That's what's great about the encased line that Panini provides. Adam, no, Aaron. Aaron Pettit with the Bulls. There you go. And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. This is your guys piece, CaseBreaks.com. We've got another two boxer in the store, two box break number two. Deuces are wild as Vince Gull used to say. I'm Joel. I'll see you for that one next time. Go Dodgers.