Well, hello and welcome to understand men now.  You'll know All right really quickly before we get started today if you're brand new to my YouTube channel Please hit the subscribe button hit the bell so you could be notified of new videos And if any time during this video the content resonates with you Please hit that like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms really quickly my coaching is what I call heart Centered radical honesty it's direct a little tough love and a lot of heart and occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence so and if an f-bomb or two are not your cup of tea I suggest logging off right now and lastly these are my thoughts my perceptions my opinions I am by no means suggesting this is the truth you have to decide the truth for yourself So my hope is that my content sparks something in you to expand your horizons in a new way And it's okay if you agree or don't agree with me All right Let's get into the topic about men and commitment and all that juicy stuff And now it's five surefire ways to know if he's ready to commit All right So let's face it out in the dating mating in the relating realm It is a mess out there especially for those of us in midlife and I call midlife After baby making years and before retirement so if you're between the ages of 42 and 69 that's the demographic I typically speak to and The reality within this demographic a Significant percentage of people are divorced in fact I would ensure to say that 75 plus percent of people are single looking for love in their 40s 50s and 60s are divorced Now why is that important to know because with divorce comes a lot of emotional baggage and Luggage and rubbish that comes with it in drama So we're already dealing with a huge demographic that oftentimes is struggling on an emotional level And this is why we see a proliferation of serial daters and we see a proliferation of Of players and and certainly people that are quite ambivalent to the dating process And this is true of men and women alike. Let me repeat that. This is true of men and women alike This isn't singular to men. I know most of my audience in fact I did a I went on a Google search and it looks like 93% of people that follow me are women But I'm here to say I know you oftentimes point the finger at men But let me just tell you something we men are pointing the finger at you too Well, not me personally, but a significant percentage of men point the finger at women, too So the reality is is this is a human thing that's going on and I'm talking about the frustration in the dating mating or relating realm Because the vast majority of the human population is suffering on the inside in some way shape or form centered around I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable and I'm not likable This is why I've shifted to more of a compassionate way of approaching this Versus the traditional rules-based way of dating the rules-based way of dating and let me just say this All the dating advice in the world Cannot help human beings if they haven't learned to communicate in a healthy grown-up way Let me repeat that all the dating advice in the world cannot help human beings If they haven't learned to communicate in a healthy grown-up way So I'm gonna in a few minutes lean into those five surefire ways to recognize men who are ready to commit And I'm here to say Emotionally stunted men and women Emotionally immature men and women women who are men and women who are struggling on the inside are Absolutely capable of being in a committed relationship So being in a committed relationship in and of itself doesn't mean that it's going to be juicy delicious and healthy Because people can commit to one another who are rather fucked up Emotionally so commitment in and of itself isn't the most important thing I'm here to say emotional maturity is the most important piece to recognize and when I share these five things you'll be able to lean into this with a lot more Understanding of what to look for if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg I'm gonna show this for everyone really quickly This is something I came up with a while back above the water line You can see the word attraction and in the tip of the iceberg is chemistry Below the water line is compatibility and you can see it says shared values blendable lifestyles emotional maturity The this is the far more important piece in relationship And as that as you start to check the boxes of shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity The water line of attraction begins to drop and you become more and more attracted to the person you're with Okay, so how can we tell somebody is really ready for commitment? And what are some of the signs especially coming from men? Well, I'm about to show you and I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses first And those you know me here is my notes Is he ready to commit the five ways to know for sure? so number one He's open to sharing his past with you He's open to sharing his past relationships with you in a healthy way Let me repeat that he's open to showing his past relationships to you in a healthy way and He expresses why he wants commitment. I'm gonna repeat that he expresses why he wants commitment So why is this such an important piece? In fact, this is the foundational piece of what I'm about to share today So, you know hold on to your seats because the vast majority of humans I want to say 80 percent of humans Who are single and actively in the dating mating and relating realm in midlife? Oftentimes point the finger at their ex partner or partners as being the problem in their relationship and they oftentimes hold deep resentments and deep Judgment about their partner they hold resentment and judgments about their partner and They still express that now. Why is this so important to know? Well, I remember I mentioned to you earlier that Emotionally unhealthy people emotionally stunted people can be in a committed relationship well, yes, so if someone begs on their ex partners or is Complains about their ex partners, especially when you hear the rhetoric, you know They were a narcissist and they ghosted and they were emotionally unavailable and that the other person was all at fault When a human being can take ownership in their part of their past Relationships and say I take ownership for my part of what went wrong in the relationship And I'm ready to both avoid doing the same thing again And I'm ready to actually lean into a fully committed relationship That is a great sign that someone is ready for commitment Now again, I said emotionally unhealthy people can be in commit committed Relationships, but that doesn't mean it's a healthy relationship. And as I said before roughly about 80% of this is just my anecdotal projections and This is true of men and let me share an example. I'm gonna share a personal example. I'm gonna share two examples I well, I've gone on many many dates with women who habitually throw their ex spouse or their ex boyfriend under the bus usually in the rhetoric of Narcissists they were all narcissists. They were all narcissists They throw that person under the bus as they as if they are this most pristine person that is above reproach What did Jesus say he with who without sin cast the first stone? The reality is is look at if you're if you're hearing rhetoric from men Or if we men hear it from women that it's all your ex partners fault That's a sure sign. You might be capable of commitment But I'm gonna tell you something you're probably not in a good place to be in a fully committed relationship Because if someone asked me Jonathan what happened in your your marriage, I would candidly say I Was very immature when I got married emotionally. I was very selfish at that time more focused on my career than being a good husband and that ultimately along with some things that she did Led to the end of our relationship and for a long time. I didn't want to get remarried after my divorce That's another thing a lot of people after divorce don't want to remarry And if I continue the sentence about myself I'm in a place now that I'd either like to live together or get married If somebody says something along those lines ladies men and women alike That's a surefire way to recognize that they're capable of Joint go going into a deep your healthier relationship. So that's number one They express their path past in a healthy way and they express they want commitment number two They have their act together. They have their act together. Their life isn't in chaos People whose lives in chaos don't have a foundation beneath them to actually sustain a fully committed relationship So if they're going through a contentious divorce if they're going through job issues, maybe they're going through some medical crises Maybe they're going through some mental health issues if someone's life is in chaos and the ground underneath them isn't solid then they might like I said every human being is Capable of being in a committed relationship, but I'm talking about a juicy delicious healthy relationship So the ground underneath them must be solid and it's not in chaos. That's not to say look at folks You all know if you follow me. I lost my 19 year old son Connor There's a picture of him right there is another picture with him when as a brother It's not to suggest that we aren't going to have chaotic things But I'm talking about chaos in the sense of self-induced chaos And a lot of self-induced chaos is usually a result of the ego Trying to be perfect or the ego trying to be better than other people or that chaos is oftentimes That ego causes the demise of all those things that happen the divorce the job issues and all those sort of things But I don't want to get into the ego too much here today So that's number two their life is in chaos or they have their life their act together Number three, this is a really interesting one that I came up with they surround themselves with other Couples who are in committed relationships. They surround themselves with People that are in committed relationships, and I'm talking about healthy juicy delicious committed relationship You know, I know a lot of people that don't have friends that are in committed relationships But I will tell you I surround myself from those with those people Because those are my role models those are the people I look to to get some support and some advice and when we surround ourselves With a community of really good people including people that are in a healthy committed Relationships that's a great sign that they're capable of being in commitment a lot of people who are loners a lot of people Who don't surround themselves with committed relationships oftentimes are suffering on the inside in some way And that's possibly not always a sign that they're not capable of going into deeper commitment or deeper Intimacy with someone and that's not an absolute. I'm just sharing that as a perspective Okay, so again, they surround themselves with good people in their lives Good support system which includes people that are also in committed relationships Okay, number four They understand healthy communication Particularly in the area of fighting fare. I repeat that they understand healthy communication Particularly in the area of fighting fare One of the fundamentals of emotional maturity is the capacity to listen to someone else's point of view Except another person's point of view as being true for them Because the reality is is relationships are going to have conflict. There's going to be relationships They're gonna have friction and conflict. There's going to be differences of opinion Ultimately what what puts two healthy people together is when you can listen to the other person's point of view and Accept that person's point of view as being true for them and vice versa. Yeah vice versa. In other words It's not about being right. It's about being happy Back to a friend of mine. That's a quote from a friend of mine Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy people who are? Capable of being in a fully committed relationship. It's not about being right It's about coming up with solutions with your partners when there's disagreements and sometimes you might have to resign yourself into We can agree to disagree But when you learn to fight fare you do all things with love and by the way That's what my coffee mug here says today do all things with love And that's what love would do and that's how love would respond When you actually listen to the other person's point of view and accepting them for being true for them and Number five. This is in particular to men He's romantic after he's gotten laid. Let me repeat that. He's romantic after he's gotten laid In other words after you know Typically so I have an opinion Romance should be reserved for when you're in a relationship not as a way to get into a Relationship, let me repeat that romance should be reserved for when you get into a relationship Or when you're in a relationship versus as a way to get into a relationship the stupid book the rules Trains women to expect excessive romance from men Because it temporarily makes you believe that they're into you, but I'm here to say True romance begins after you've been intimate with each other true romance begins once you start exploring the depths of a relationship That guy I was looking at my My friends girlfriends. I have a friend of mine who's been in a relationship for a little over 1415 months and I was looking at her Instagram page and I saw that she posted a picture of a teddy bear that she and it turns out she's Happens to be at the other end of the country at the moment or the yeah the country I should say and it was a surprise gift. He sent her a surprise gift of a teddy bear I mean that's when men do these surprise things to demonstrate romance That's a great sign That he's really he's capable of commitment and it truly is a sign that he genuinely cares and loves you It's those surprise Romantic gestures after we've gotten away So I know a lot of women complain men don't romance me anymore Well, that's because they used romance to get you in bed I'm here to say save the romance for once you're in a fully committed relationship Or at least that's what I invite everybody to do All right, so just to repeat those five surefire ways to know he wants commitments number one He's open to sharing his past relationships in a healthy way And he expresses why he wants a committed relationship Number two, he has his act together. He's not living in chaos Number three, he surrounds himself with others who are in committed relationship And he surrounds himself or he and she surround themselves with people At their community to support them. It's important to have community number four They understand healthy communication particularly in the area of fighting fair Which means listening to your partner's point of view and accepting it true to be true for them And lastly the romance starts after the sex and they are continually romantic That's a great sign that this man wants a fully committed relationship. Is he ready for commitment five surefire ways to know All right, that's the The content portion of our live stream today now We're gonna get ready for the Q&A which is the best part now If you're not familiar with my if you first off if you're listening to the audio portion of this or the podcast You won't be able to see the Q&A. This is for those who are on the live stream right now in the chat box There's a place where you can please write the word question and then post your question there after or Purchase a super sticker or super chat in the super chat You can post a question and by the way all the funds for the super stickers and super chats Which are at the bottom of the chat box goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley The one who passed away the scholarship fund is to help defray the cost of personal development for those in need And it includes me donating to the Hoffman process and insight seminars on a regular basis So all of your monies go to that so thank you so much purchase a super sticker And you please purchase a super sticker super chat is a way to say thank you to me as well I'd be appreciative of that. All right before we get into questions though I want to share something with you a little story and this centers around The wolf you feed the wolf you feed now some years ago. I went to go visit my sister and on her coffee table was this book The 101 lies men tell women the 101 lies men tell women and When I saw that and I started to read some of the things like 101 lies here. It is okay For example number one. I'll call you number two. I love you number three. You're the only one number four I've never felt this way about anyone else When I saw this book on her coffee table, I actually got rather Angry, I'll be candid with you not at her. I just got angry and I I took it from her and Wanted to read it because I look at books like that as ways to feed unhealthy unhealthy unhealthy Perceptions around men. Let me repeat that when these kind of books create unhealthy Perceptions around men and if you feed the wolf that men are bad, then you're going to continually attract Men that are bad. This is why I get Infuriated anytime I read comments on my on my channel centered around narcissism it seems like every woman in the planet has dated nothing but narcissists and Selfish behavior gas lighting, you know, love bombing bread crumbing all this stuff is all wrapped into narcissism And if someone is holding on to the energy that a man is bad or men are bad Then guess what's going to happen? You will not you will only see bad men It's like right now if I said yellow Volkswagen buff and you were driving all of a sudden You would just start seeing yellow Volkswagen bugs Okay, so and and here's the thing about narcissism, you know It's actually kind of infuriates me because I was watching a video from a doctor giving examples of narcissism Gaslighting basically which is which is taking something somebody said and turning it around and making their fault Well, guess what every human being does that I've done it. You've done it we've all gotten defensive before when we feel like our ego is challenged and it is a very egoic thing to turn it around or Ghosting as being narcissism. I've ghosted people before I've Gaslighted I've gotten defensive. I've loved grunt. I've breadcrumbs that doesn't make a person a narcissist the bottom line with narcissists as an example is they can absolutely can never Apologize for something that they've done done wrong and they lack genuine empathy But the signs of narcissism all the list you might see like the list of the 101 lies men tell you isn't necessarily Narcissism, but here's what I'm sharing this with you all folks If you focus on it, you'll just attract more of it So I invite you to focus on something else. I invite you to focus on the following It's raining good men. It's raining good men. It's raining good men. It's raining good men Here's the thing. Most men are good guys. They're just bad daters Most women are good human beings. They're just bad daters I know what I mean by bad daters is that they have weak Emotional skills or weak communication skills Just because women can vomit their emotions doesn't make them any better at communication I can tell you women are equally bad at communication skills just as men just women happen to vomit their emotions and women tend to want Committed relationships more than men so they oftentimes point the finger at men at being the problem And again, if you're pointing the finger at the other gender The gender that you want to be with Then all your and if then all you're going to attract is more unhealthy behavior in your life So my invitation is to shift the narrative starting with self-love Self-love my this is my book called what the heck is self-love anyway There's a link below to all my books that I recommend This is a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work because as I said earlier The number one emotional health issue people are facing is I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable and How we can shift that narrative is start to deeply love on ourselves and that's my invitation for everyone So thank you for allowing me to vent and rant about what I think is causing a lot of frustration for men and women out there All right, let's jump into the questions All right Gina post a question Question how long should I wait to bring up commitment? My relationship is moving slow, but smooth It's medium distance. I've known him for 16 weeks Well, I believe okay great question Gina I Believe it's important right before the penis ever goes inside the vagina That you express if you want to be in a fully committed relationship that you express that before you have sex Okay, that's number one number two I highly recommend before the penis goes in the vagina is you purchase two copies of the book eight dates by doctors John and Julie Gottman eight dates because this gives you an outline of how to explore a relationship together So that's number one now if if you're 16 weeks into a relationship I think it's important to have a conversation to determine if you're both on the same page What does commitment look like for you? Are we exploring a fully committed relationship that leads to either getting married or living together now for those who know me? They so I established my standard right from the get-go I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days a night to week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests spending time with family and friends traveling together teamwork building skills both in our personal and our professional life Intimacy which includes emotional intimacy and physical intimacy that leads to either moving in together or getting married That's my standard That's what I tell women first second or third date and I say are we on the same page here? And I asked them what are they looking for in terms of commitment?  Reading this book with you only emotionally unhealthy men only men who avoid enough commitment We'll have who will give you pushback on that and you really want to be with that guy. That's up to you Great question there Gina. Thank you so much All right, Sal. Just purchased a super sticker. So let me share this with everybody All right, Sal. Thank you so much our question. I started a custody case. The process is so heavy I don't know how else to describe it. I would love to understand the heaviness What is your way of describing the heaviness and experience? hmm the heaviness Well, I think and I'm not sure this is what you mean a Custody case can be very Emotionally draining and when there's because you're in a battle custody. I mean it sounds like you're in a custody battle Which is emotionally draining? That's not necessarily the best time to start dating someone new when you're going through emotional heaviness and emotional weights That's not to say that you can't explore a relationship with someone But it's going to take a very patient person depending on how demanding this custody case is so I'm still trying to process your question because I'm not sure I'm qualified to answer this question. So That sounds to me it's more of an inner question You might want to explore with a therapist because ultimately you have to look inward now You may want to purchase the book the untethered soul by Michael singer the untethered soul by Michael singer This will help you tremendously with the weight associated with that and if you want to do a deep dive I mean I mean you may want to consider the course and miracles That's a way to really have deeper understanding, but that's ninja level work that takes years of work So I'm not sure I can help you with this one I think that's better for a therapist or a counselor than a dating a relationship coach But I really appreciate the super sticker. Thank you so much for that very much appreciated going to the Connor scholarship fund Sam says good explanation Jonathan loved it. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. All right, if we have questions post the word question Kelly wants to respond clean your energy. You're going through a process respect your process be patient What's up for you? What's for you will be for you great point Kelly. Thank you so much. Oh Sal, thank you so much. I'm so happy you appreciated that and I appreciate the super sticker. All right If we have a question post the word question Kelly says we all have issues, but how we go about the unconscious and consciously is what really matters Accepting nothing less than the best filter out people in your life. Love forgive be grateful always. Yes. Yes. Yes If you're not familiar with the book The four agreements the four agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz The four agreements are always do your best be impeccable with your word Don't let the projection of others affect you and lastly don't make Assumptions the four agreements great book to read while you're going through this Sal. So thank you so much All right, if you have a question post the word question Bear with me everyone. Oh, here we go Let's go swimming. All right question if someone is vague about their divorce How much should I push asking why he called it quits and how much should I give them? How much time should I give them? You know, I just talked about this in my private group today By the way, there's a link to join my private group. It's called midlife love mastery for 20 bucks a month you can have direct access to me on a regular basis and any question you post in the group I shoot a personalized video just for you, but with this one You know, I'm a believer That when people are very vague about their past or they're hiding their past It's oftentimes they either in pain or in shame or they're hiding something I believe these days given the fact that we're meeting total strangers and we have no Degree of separation between people in other words, it's not like when we you know, think about this up until about 30 40 years ago most likely everybody Are 80% no 90% of people who got married Actually knew their partner in the town village or workplace. So they already had a history They already had their background check on the person. I Need to say we should do background checks on people and I'm talking about social media background checks I mean, maybe even police background checks I think it's important to find out about a person's past because you don't you when you're meeting a total stranger You have no idea how fucked up their past life is and while the catfishing or the scam artists are the Con artists are the exception. I certainly don't want to get con So I'm a believer of asking as many questions about the past Asking and if they're unwilling to give you answers You may have to second guess whether or not you want to be in relationship with them And I'm a big believer of meeting people's friends. That's right You have to meet people's friends early on the sooner the better Because that'll give you some insight into a person and if they don't have friends or their friends are elsewhere You know, that's a problematic thing and I'm here to say as your big brother Look at I look at I should I my coaching is your big brother if I could be there with a shotgun and Pointed at the guy and say what's your intentions with my little sister? I wish I could be there for you have to do that for yourself And that's why you have to be your own matchmaker and you might have to do some background checks on people But to answer your question I would probe and I would ask to meet their friends or family and if they're reluctant I might be reluctant dating someone if someone is reluctant to introduce me to their family and friends I might actually be very reluctant to date them But that's just me and I invite you to explore that for yourself. I hope I helped you with that question Janet Thank you so much Susan writes question what if you found out your date might have dementia what it oh wow What would That's a tough one Because that's That's a tough one If it well, it's one thing well isn't an assumption they have dimension or do they actually did they share with you that dementia? You know what I'm I'm gonna have to you know everybody but look at I'm a believer We do all things with love and I also believe I don't want to buy a fixer upper house And and that would require a deep amount of love To be able to support someone through a very difficult time. So I struggle with that one I probably wouldn't want to date someone who was going through dementia, but you have to decide that for yourself You know, we're all here. We're either here to heal someone else or someone else is here to heal us So you never know what might happen on that journey with that person. I Just know I would have a hard time with that But you have to decide that for yourself and and I'd like to hear what happens if you do so, please let me know Susan thank you so much for that question. I truly appreciate it alright Let's see. Let's go swimming Purchase a super sticker a super chat Question Dawn says oh wait. What do you think about this? Don it says what do you think about this, but I don't see anything so If you have a question post the word question then write the question thereafter. So it's easy for me to find folks otherwise, okay Denise writes Denise a Question how to detach from a guy. I'm dating other guys. I want to commit a relationship But still can't forget about the other person or this person Ah That's the $64,000 question. I mean how to detach. I mean How to detach? You know All right, so here's what I'm gonna suggest Write down everything what positive things did I learn about myself in this relationship? What positive things did I learn about myself in this relationship? What was good about this relationship and what are you most grateful for? So lean into gratitude now, that's probably going to make you more attached Which means you're probably suffering from attachment or a mago read these two books Attached by a mere Levine and Rachel Heller and getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks I promise you after reading these two books. You probably won't be attached much anymore. So read those two books Attached and getting the love you want by Harvelle Hendricks and that might help you Detach from this person and do the exercise that I recommended Denise. So thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it alright Susan says what makes you really happy in a relationship if you're asking me personally Fucking my brains out. That's one thing I'm exploring the depths of our consciousness. That's another thing spending time with family and friends. That's another thing Social activities hobbies mutual interests. That's another thing I'm Traveling together. That's another thing.  She asked questions. That's what sexy and turns me on So Susan if that was a personal question for me, that's my answer to that. So, thank you so much Sandra says the four agreements changed my life. I highly recommend it. I agree Alright Denise it goes back and says I've read both books and I'm still struggling You know what? I I'm not an expert at helping someone detach I think what helped me is I'm gonna tell you something here You may oh, I don't have it with. Oh, here it is Nope, I don't have it here. The course in miracles was something I did. It's a three-year deep dive It took me three years to do it every day for three years That was a way to help me become more and more connected to my higher self That was one thing you may want to do the Hoffman process That might be another thing you might want to do or you might want to read Codependent no more because there probably is some codependency there as well But that's not my area of expertise. I wish I could give you better advice I would see a counselor on that one. That's the other option as well So thank you so much for that question. I really have heard sharing a little bit more about that. Thank you so much The Anna says Jonathan tough questions tonight. Yeah, these are some well, they're not tough questions These are really great questions. I'm listen folks I'm I'm gonna say this I am by no means the expert upon experts I share my perceptions my opinions based on my experience so And and I'm and the reason why I refer so many books is because I'm not gonna sell you on some bullshit program To convince you to drop, you know $10,000 over a six-month period of time when I mean certainly my coaching is a big investment And it's very specialized to you but I'm not gonna sell you on all this stuff because a lot of this you've got to do on your own and for 180 bucks 15 books or wait a minute for you can buy 10 of the books I recommended at 15 bucks a piece for a hundred and fifty 200 bucks. You can change your life So that's that's why I don't know everything, but I share you my perceptions based on what I've learned. So thank you so much All right, oh Here's a question from we Jen What's the difference between red flags and deal breakers great question, you know another book I found irony Red flags how to know you're with dating a loser another shitty book and what I mean by that I I use these to come up with ideas for my content. So just so you know, okay Red flag. Let me give an example of a red flag red flag might be you're on a date and You notice the guy didn't give much of a tip Okay, maybe gave a low tip to the waitress or waiter That might be a red flag and I mean that might suggest that that person is cheap now It might suggest their cheap now a red flag in my mind means ask more questions So now if you're on a first date, I think it's rather inappropriate to ask someone why they gave a lower tip But let me tell you something I've sometimes felt like the person didn't deserve a tip a big tip because I thought the service was poor So a red flag simply means ask questions now use that example because that might be something that triggers you to think Oh that person's cheap. That's a deal breaker. No a red flag means ask questions about it A deal breaker might look like this. They're a smoker. That's a deal breaker to me I don't want to date someone who's a smoker. Okay They're raising babies. I'm I'm look at I've got grown children out. I don't want to be that That's a deal breaker for me deal breakers are your your absolutes Red flags are the things that you notice that says oh, maybe I should okay So dating someone who's cheap might be a deal breaker but the red flag until you actually know that they're cheap the red flag is the Question you ask it means okay. You might want to say oh, that's that's something that caught me off guard Let me find out more and I'm just using that as a crude example. What are the red flags? Oh, okay another great red flag Someone who complains about their ex okay to me That's a red flag now You might want to ask more questions and that will turn into a deal breaker to find out that they're still madly in Love with their ex the red flag is they're talking about their ex incessantly The question you want to follow up is have they heal from that because if they haven't that might be your deal breaker So we Jen, I hope that helps Understand the difference between a red flag and a deal breaker red flag simply means ask more questions Deal breakers are those things you know right off the bat Now I know a lot of people think of honesty Trustworthiness integrity as deal breakers, but those are things that you're going to find out right away Deal breakers are things that you can figure out very quickly in the beginning Now what's going to happen is you might find out that you're in a relationship that might have a deal breaker But I would eliminate I would first know what your standards are Right off the bat and then find out if they meet your standards because that's the early Indication that some things might be a deal breaker for you. Is that making sense we Jen? I hope it is okay That was a great question. Thank you so much for that one. I really appreciate it Ham says Jonathan, I think we all love the sex is the best part Exactly. All right Let's keep going here and We Jen says yes, it helps. I understand better now. Thank you. I appreciate that I Um, oh Susan says differences a deal breaker is something you can't ever accept reg flags or things You just keep an eye. That's it. That's kind of what I was saying, but exactly. Thank you so much Alright, oh, let's go swimming Let's go do you have any questions we have a bashful group, please purchase a super sticker super chat I'd really like to give out some donations To the insight seminar, so I'd really appreciate a super sticker super chat tonight By the way, I did post something Yesterday in my community page said if you have a personal question for me And I actually wrote down some of those personal questions that came up for me These were questions that you wanted to find out about Jonathan as late So I'll take a little time right now to share what was asked and my answers if you're interested. Are you interested? I hope so All right. Here's one of the questions Was Jonathan who's your favorite author and speakers? Who's your favorite author and speaker? All right one of my all-time well besides Besides me what the heck a self-love anyway just kidding one of my all-time favorite books is the untethered soul by Michael Singer the untethered soul by Michael Singer and the follow-up book you may want to check out is the Surrender experiment the surrender experiment folks When I lost Connor That broke my heart open in a way I can't even begin to describe to lose a child is Any parent knows that this is our greatest nightmare and We have to learn to accept that we are not in control of our lives We are not in control of our lives and we are not in control of our others lives things happen to us that we have to be able to learn to learn to accept and I realized that you know at the scheme of things what's most important is You know is to let go of all the bullshit This is why sometimes I scream at the top of my lungs when I'm shooting these videos because I witness people Doing more harm to themselves By sucking on the nipple of victim consciousness by suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I am so I witnessed people in pain who don't love themselves and I wrote my book what the heck a self-love anyway as a tribute to Connor as well Fact chapter 5 is don't let anyone fuck with your chi that was that was based on him There's a picture of that's one of the last photographs he ever took And I love that photograph because he was in his element at that moment He had this capacity not to let people bother him if they disagreed with him He had this capacity to love himself and so I'm here to say I'm going back to my the book the surrender experiment.  I love watching Wayne Dyer when he was When he was alive, I love Marianne Williamson if you're not familiar with the book return to love by Marianne Williamson Highly recommend her. I I love watching Barbara de Angelis. There's a picture of Barbara de Angelis I love Matt Khan m-a-t-t k-a-h-n Matt Khan k-a-h-n I love his work just to name a few Joy Kingsborough, I love her work Joy Kingsborough. I love her work So these are just some of my favorite speakers out there, so I hope you glean something from that Alright All right another question that came my way Jonathan do you like animals? Yes, I do. I love dogs I'm a big fan of dogs. I'm not a cat person.  I just I just love the way they just Give you all kinds of love and kisses Uh someone said can you name your favorite beaches my beach redondo beach right there? I'm literally I can throw a baseball to the ocean from where I live What's your favorite meal? I love a good rib-eye steak What is your favorite type of music? I'm a big fan of Joe Jackson You can't get what you want so you know what you want Joe Jackson just to name a few I'm a big 80s fan So I love 80s music I do not like country country music and I will not lie and your other brothers can't deny when a girl walks in with the Itty bitty waste the round thing in your face you get sprung Anyway, all right What are the questions here? All right? If you have a personal question if you have a question ask me post it here I'll answer a few more personal questions Before we wrap up today We have a great group Denise says dogs give tons of oxytocin ain't that the truth Dog person here All right, let's see what we've got here We've got a bashful group today. We've got kind of a low. Oh, here we go We gin post. Thank you for the $5 super stick. I really appreciate that question any suggestions You would give me on how to find out when was their last relationship preventing putting myself to a potential rebound So one of the things I do great questions So one of the things I do in my private coaching by the way, there's if you want to schedule a discovery call There's a link to schedule a call with me to see if working with the coaches right for you one of the exercises I do with my clients is called radical honesty and what we do is we come up with 15 Critical questions to ask before the penis goes inside the vagina Before the penis goes inside the vagina Radical honesty, it's time to ask deeper questions rather than the stupid rules based way of dating and The attraction based way of dating. I'm all about vetting for emotional maturity So I believe one of the best questions to ask is what does commitment look like for you? Write that down. What does commitment look like for you? That's a great question to ask someone and And do you want a fully committed relationship that leads to either getting married or living together? Most guys are gonna say no.  I don't care what kind of you're welcome to have casual relationships You're welcome to have friends with benefits your relationships. You're welcome to have situations ships. I'm here to suggest something deeper I'm here to suggest spiritual partnerships Spiritual partnerships Gary Zuckoff wrote a great book on this. I'm here to promote Partnership with people and if you want partnership then stop fucking around and ask better questions because Guys who are serious will lean into your questions and the guys who are not serious will run away But Jonathan, I'm afraid to share my truth because he's gonna run away Yes, that's what you want happen You want the wrong guys to run away and you want the right guys to come closer to coming back to my book Chapter 9 if it's sincere and from the heart you can't say the wrong thing to the right person so region Thank you for that question I hope I answered it by giving you some suggestions on how to approach it with radical honesty So thank you so much. By the way, if everyone agrees with me, can I get an amen? Do you agree with what I just shared? Please give me an amen or purchase a super sticker or super chat Thank you Elaine Alright, well looks like we have a bash.  Thank you for the suggestions I'll keep swimming by following you. Thank you so much. I appreciate that Folks, you know what? It's Friday night. We've got a small group following us today I'm just grateful that I can share this content with you I just want to remind you is he ready for commitment? Look at emotionally unhealthy men are capable of commitment Emotionally healthy men here are five surefire ways to determine if he's ready for commitment number one He's open of sharing. He's open to sharing his past relationships in a healthy way And he expresses why he wants a committed relationship number two. He has his act together He's not living in chaos number three He surrounds himself with others who are in healthy committed relationships number four He understands healthy communication and knowing how to fight there and number five He's romance is he continues to romance you after sex if you're getting romance after sex There's a good chance. He's capable of commitment with you I hope you got a lot of value from this live stream today. I want to thank all those that purchased a super sticker or super chat Thank you so much Also, thank you for all the questions. I really appreciate that We're gonna wrap up today as I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic job and bear hug itself love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone a pet maybe a dog or cat Pet teddy bear or pillow give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love And let's face it we could all use more love in our lives I want to thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful fantastic. We could give me a thumbs up and Share this video. Take care. Bye. Bye now


Mae'r cwmpaddibillol yn ystafell yn ymdilyn beth yw'r labwn yw'r gweithgwyr cyntaf, ac mae'r labwn yn fawr yn gweithgwyr. Fe wnaeth yn ddewch i labwn o'r ymdill ymdill yw gweithgwyr. Mae'r bwysig yn ffiliol yw'r gwahanol ac rwy'n gallu fawr i'r pari gynnig o'r fawr a'r cwmwysig o'r grwmp iawn ac yw'r gweithgwyr hefyd. Mae ydych chi'n gweithgwyr hynny? Mae'n gweithgwyr. Hefyd! Hi. I currently work at Insight. I am a core contributor and I've kind of been working with Glunberg for quite a long time. So, I wanted to first of all talk about what is a product because I think if people think about what is a product and they probably have different definitions. When you think about the word you probably think about a physical object, a commodity, a thing. Products solve things. Products package up those solutions and they deliver them to customers. This is pretty much the standard quote that you're going to get if you're thinking about products. It's a very simplified definition of a product but it serves fairly well when thinking about the wider and kind of thinking about encompassing and thinking about Gutenberg itself. Products can be small but they can also be wide. They also aren't just things, they can also be a mindset. You can embrace the product principles but that's a thing that I want to be talking about in this talk. How can you go beyond that and really start to utilise it? Another word I want to use is embrace and that's kind of a big word, embrace. It can allude that you're wholly accepting everything and I want to be clear that's not what I'm talking about today. I'm not saying that you have to wholly accept everything to do with Gutenberg. I want to show how maybe you can choose your own adventure here. How maybe you can still adapt and use what you want to here and that's part of the product mindset. Maybe it's one part and maybe it's all and that's going to be something that you are going to know when you consider and you can review and you really can explore. I want someone to do something because I sometimes move. If I move away from this microphone I want someone to wave their hand and say I can't hear you anymore so that would be great as well. By being open to possibilities we really start to embrace what we could be and start to take advantage. So this quote really says that. What advantage you gain is going to depend on what you're really looking for. It might be creating something, it might be contribution, it might be building on top of Gutenberg. Whatever it's going to be moving forward and it's going to be about fitting in front of your journey. I think it's important to recognise that the world has changed and we all are different. This is the first world camp for a while in England and I think that's really important to take a moment here and celebrate as well. That's okay. The project itself and WordPress has evolved to a state where there are many options and many different things to build on. Many different things that we want to create. I'm not going to dwell on it but I think it's really important to recognise that if we don't adapt and we don't create different things, there's this kind of competition fatigue and we have to create in a different space now to maybe that we had to create in before. When that happens and what different market you're competing in really depends on what you're doing now as well. But first, I think the first step is really understanding. Before you kind of do anything, understanding something is really, really important. So, is it just a label? Initially Gutenberg absolutely was just a label. It was a codename. That's what it was. It was a codename for a project and then it became more about compatibility. Many labels have been used over the time such as works with Gutenberg, Gutenberg ready. They all simply mean the product works with the new editing experience. And we're adding even more labels. As a project, we really like labels. We really, really do. Maybe from our blogging roots of tagging. Is this a problem? No, it's not a problem if we recognise that it's a label. But yes, it's a problem if you're trying to sell it. Or yes, it's a problem if you're trying to actually pitch to clients. And yes, it's a problem if you're trying to write documentation. And yes, it's a problem if you're not focusing on the user needs first and you're just focusing on that label. It also becomes an issue of how much is working for that end user. So, is it just WordPress? One of the biggest questions would be what is Gutenberg? I tend to push back and actually say it's just WordPress. That's what it is now. The system, the mindset and the approach has been around for quite a while now. And it is part of core development. It is there. After all, we have gone through phase two and we are starting phase three. And I'm going to get into the phases and kind of discuss that a little bit. So, at this critical one point, I would say that part of that is embracing it and to stop calling it Gutenberg. And part of this is understanding the roots. If you want to create the product quickly, understanding and consider those existing tools and you need to build upon them. Familiarise yourself with those design approaches and the patterns and the systems to extend their use. You need to understand what something is. You need to make sure you understand those foundations. You need to engage into components and really understand how styling works to be able to build upon it. Creating independent components can really be modified for different branding variations or modes once you understand how they are. And they already exist within Gutenberg. And also taking time to understand the tool set used in the project before forming any opinions about it is really, really important. This is going to become even more important as the work gains pace with the design system work that's going to be happening in the admin interface during these current phase that we're moving into. So, part of this starts with understanding the phases that we are in. And you stay ahead of that by reviewing really these and consider how your product is going to fit in those phases and where your market can for maximum benefit. For example, considering aligning your products or your opportunities for collaboration or maybe multilingual. So, I'm going to take a little bit of a time travel back and then a look forward just to recap them because I don't think they get shared enough. So, I'm going to, if you would give me a little bit of indulgence to share them in this talk. So, my clicker. Oh, my clicker did work and I just didn't see it. I'm over clicking. So, the first of the phases is easier editing. And this phase has been done. This was the starting point and what most refer to as Gutenberg. The new editing experience, not so new now. Technically, it has passed as a phase. But as with anything so foundational, there is continuous work going on with refinement. If you think about the edit flow and you think about block iterations as well. And then we have customization. Previously, this was referred to as full site editing and you may have heard more than you've heard of customization. And building on that from the real work of the site editor, we kind of moved out to thinking about the whole site and not just about creating that content in there. One thing which was key to know is that everyone has learned in this project of the importance of terminology. So, you will see that these terms have changed. And I think that is actually better because easier communication helps with framing and certainly helps when we are trying to sell products and we are trying to build things as well. Customization has moved on and it includes things like global styles and creation of full visuals as we have just seen in the talk before of an interface where previously real pretty advanced code and advanced knowledge was needed. This phase is almost more than was ever thought possible. And really freeing things from concepts to JSON files as well. In principle, this phase has been moved on from now but there is a fair bit of closure going on and I think that that is important to say that whilst these phases are finished, they are also still kind of merging into each other and quite fluid. And then we have collaboration which we are kind of moving into. When this all just begun, just working on a new editor almost seemed enough. But if you think about it now, collaboration feels like pretty much a baseline for an editor. It feels like, yeah, collaboration feels like a normal thing. But back in the day it really didn't seem like that should be something for editing. Where block editors have become the baseline so has collaboration and also other things as well now. This is where we are ending the phase wise now. It's one of those iceberg phases though. That's kind of the way that I would describe collaboration. It can seem really like, yeah, you just kind of collaborate on a document and you just do things and then you think about servers and then you think about every single situation that WordPress interacts with and it escalates to deciding to think about that with performance and the vast use cases of WordPress. A side quest in collaboration is going to be the site admin and this is worth calling out because it's really key for anyone who's looking to build styling agnostic products. It is something that I am very excited about because I feel that it's going to unlock a possibility of products that we have just been waiting for. Imagine that design system that you've always wanted. I've always wanted. It's brewing and the seeds are in core. Those components that you will be able to detach from styling. So that is something that is going to be coming and it needs to come to enable us to do collaboration. Again, these phases need us to be able to do some real foundational work to be able to do them. This phase is growing almost by the amount of posts that's going up, but that's what happens. We have a lot of posts, a lot of ideation and then we distill down to what we're going to focus on. And then we have multilingual. The completion of the journey probably should be seen more as a phase of evolution because we don't know if it's going to be a completion. It's going to be a point. And I think that's something that as a project we have to recognise. Multilingual is without dispute needed. No one's going to dispute that. But there has to be a lot of foundations in place and a lot of decisions on architecture and decisions on direction before we get there. It's key that we do it correctly when we do it. It always seems a really long time to get there and I for one wanted like yesterday but I really think that we need to kind of get into the future and work in as well. And it also means particularly taking advantage of the world has changed, you know, AI, different things are there now. So if we think about what we can take advantage of when we get to multilingual that's kind of going to be really exciting as well. I don't want to get too much into crystal ball thinking into where we go with multilingual because that's a completely different talk. As you can see though, starting to really see the phases and roadmats for the products and see those gaps and start to consider where you can create and what you might want to release. So, you've kind of got all that knowledge so now it's really about taking that understanding and really starting to utilise that. And the first of those is really releasing timely and regularly. Before it's integration into WordPress Gutenberg was released as a plug-in and extensive testing. It really, really helped having that functionality. You can learn a lot from this by releasing your own work in a timely manner, having that cadence. And really you do this because it's important to release when it won't cause any harm and you have that kind of friction point of just enough friction of release, just enough uncomfortable, just enough knowing that something's going out. Those regular releases really keep products fresh and iterative. Consider also having more usability testing and product usability reviews as part of those releases. That's something that we started really having during the editor work and has continued and it's really important for more products to start doing that within the WordPress space and I've seen it and I just really am delighted when it happens. Or too often in WordPress there's this chase for features and I think that that's something that we really should chase down and look at the features that are important to do as well. Gutenberg actually has a lot of refinements along with features counter to what is actually said sometimes that it's always chasing features. A good example of that is Edit Flow. Edit Flow and the iterations of the performance have been slowly, painfully in a best possible way worked on and improved over time to really be from where they were, which wasn't super great and were the best they could be to incredibly good now from where they started. And that constant refinement and reviewing is really, really important for us to do and not just accept that something is done and shipped. Once you have a solid grasp of the basics then you can explore those exciting new possibilities. You can use those established guidelines and regulations as a foundation to experiment with fresh ideas and broaden your horizons and incorporate all those new ideas. Remember though once you understand the rules you can venture but you have to understand those rules before you go beyond. It's like of anything. If you know those basics you can mix things up. If you know how to cook you can then kind of start to really experiment as well. There is work going on as I've mentioned in the design system. So knowing how to use that design system you can start building upon it. And it might seem easier to use a library or a framework from your theme or your product. But is it really? Is the maintenance burden going to be too much? It might be in valuation that you still decide that's okay but really try and be how native you can be for the first time and see if that works. Gutenberg offers various options for editing but it chooses a default setting that aims really to provide the best possible experience such as full site editing. Once some users may prefer this feature or that feature take that mindset of really offering what someone needs at the time that they're going to do it and know that journey as well. Yes you could have a thousand toggles but I would say that that has been one of the problems with a lot of WordPress products deaf by a thousand toggles for example. Noble needs that toggle paralysis. What really is the job that someone's trying to do with that product. What really is something that they're trying to get done. Set it a full and maybe offer a few settings but stop offering that kitchen sink. We need less kitchen sinks in WordPress and more users achieving what they want to do. The more aligned you are the easier it's going to be of course. And this doesn't mean that you have to have a single aspect with a core process. Again once you know you can deviate. You have that empowerment. This goes back to being aware making that conscious decision with education and with knowledge. Having awareness from the scripts from testing scripts even to how core loads variables and knowing that there are colour variables and components that you can build on within the editor that could save you time could really help and boost. It also means that you can have a say when these posts come out on make and you can give input to the people that are creating this with and collaborate and really move the project forward together. Because once you do that you can go beyond. I want to share some ways that we can all go beyond when we're creating things. The first is realising that everything isn't blocks. It's a block based editor but there's an opportunity to create and extend beyond just blocks. If you think about the editor itself if you think about creating you think about WordPress and the interfaces really it's brought in so many different ways and so many different aspects and so many different potential products that you could create. We have to shift out of our thinking of blocks. We've kind of got this narrow mindset on blocks and blocks are great but they're not everything. We also have to look outside of WordPress. Gutenberg was created actually by looking outside of WordPress. It wasn't created by looking within. It was created for being inspired by editorial places and realising that they couldn't be done within WordPress at the time and seeing that as a challenge and seeing how we could actually achieve that. It draws on interfaces and products that are diverse. You need to take that mindset into what you create. WordPress is incredible but it's just one space. By looking beyond you can take those lessons from the new editor and how it created in that product creation. You don't have to be inspired by products or technology either. Look at how art and different things are creating. Look at games. Look at different things in the world. Consider the experiences of supermarkets for onboarding for example. Gutenberg was fuelled by all of these different experiences and this community is amazing but it's really small and narrow in where we tend to look when we look for inspiration. It's also not everything. There is a vast open web for us to set sail on. Another thing is about removing as much as you add. Think about how you can simplify the interface. Gutenberg has effectively reduced visual clutter through features like side panels and leading to a more streamlined experience. What can you remove from your product today that isn't being used? What could you do? I would challenge anyone who has a product and say you absolutely can remove at least two to three things and your users wouldn't miss them. When developing a solution for WordPress it's really important to consider that if you do that you can then focus on either new features that really people do want or you can actually reduce your maintenance burden. Keep in mind that Gutenberg needs to do a variety of use cases but you don't have to cover everything with what you're creating. And experiment. Make it yours. The Gutenberg of today isn't the Gutenberg that was released at the start in both form and function. This is a good thing. Taking this mindset into what you create is really, really vital. Be okay to experiment today and try and even pivot out. That editor has changed and that's great. We should also change with what we're creating and really adopt that ethos of creating and changing our products as well. The start of the project saw some pretty out there thinking in what we were doing and that has continued. What while thinking are you currently doing within your products? What could you start doing? What could you be experimenting with? I would encourage you to start doing that. What could you be doing that you aren't thinking about? So to fully utilise Gutenberg it's important to understand the principles and select which features to use. It's important to discover. It's important to understand. To embrace that product and explore its potential beyond just those blocks. Because those opportunities do await. There are things that haven't been done yet. There are so many things that haven't been done yet. So many problems haven't been solved yet. If I had one wish right now it would be to see more products built and experimented using Gutenberg. I honestly don't think there were enough. Extending the interface and really pushing what could be. There was so much room to do that. But these products also and I'm going to allow myself to have two wishes needs to then give feedback to those people creating Gutenberg. Because with that feedback they can then create things and agnostic styling and better components so that things can be built easier. And then we have this beautiful cycle of product creation and it's amazing space where we can create some awesome stuff together. As each phase evolves the product grows so should the market of things grown from it. And I'm excited to see what can be created from each phase and the future projects built using the product formerly known as Gutenberg. Now known as WordPress. Thank you. I think I've got some time for some questions. When did it die? I started lashing actually. Did it die halfway through? No just right at the end. It decided no more questions. I can shout. Can you hear me? Hi. While you were talking about one of the early design principles of WordPress was decisions not options. Which was very, very important for a lot of earlier on design decisions that were made. And you alluded to that later on when you talked about plugins and there's just way too many options. I consider myself a WordPress user more than anything else when it comes to the software and I try to build the sites the other day or I try to write a post. And I find it very difficult because there's so many options. So I was wondering like is that no longer a design principle of WordPress was a decision made for that to no longer be there? Is it just like are you still talk about that as a design principle? For me like I personally do I think we've maybe forgotten about it collectively as a community and I would love us to get back to it. The reason being I think I love the concept of as a user and user journeys and there's this story arc of user journeys it comes from like screen writing. What is a user trying to do? And they're not trying to play whack-a-mole with toggles right? So yes, that's incredibly important. I should have repeated the questions I just realised. Are you making noises with the microphone? I am. You are. Thank you. So I think I don't think from a core perspective I think core is really doing that quite strongly but I think there is a disconnect between core and building at the moment and I think that needs to realign. A realign a little bit. What do you mean by building? People who are building it aren't necessarily aligned with so in core there is almost a stripping away of options if you think about the side panels almost to the point of friction for some people like it's gone too far there. Whereas you look at a plug in it's like everything's here everything's there a good example is we actually have an options section in the editor now we have a style book we have all these sections we definitely have those places for things that before we did not have places for but I consistently see the wrong things in the wrong places so there's a chicken egg documentation all these kind of I'm just like okay I need to do this thing and I'm like is it in a customiser and there seems appearance I don't know how to use WordPress anymore and that's a kind of a big change from someone who is like whoa I can make a website with a fun kit. I think what you're digging at which is one of the things which I've been inflecting on at the moment which is we still expect WordPress to be the same experience for everybody you have the same entry point and you do the same thing I think that probably has to change over time so you are going to write you go into one point you are going to style you go into one point I think that's something that needs to change over time so that it just goes away and gets out of the way so you can do the job we are not there yet and that is the ultimate decisions and options is I am trying to do something just let me do it we do not do that yet I may be really far down on the decision options now I've kind of really jumped down there but mainly because I just feel that nobody has time for the extraneous things anymore nobody has time for landing on a page where would you like to do 20 things? no I'd like to do the one thing that's in my head you'd like to do that to read our minds I just want Wapu Clippy to help me any more questions? thank you so much


The origins of Halloween seem to date to the Celtic festival of the dead, but it is associated with even older Egyptian traditions of the transmigration of the human soul and its reincarnation after death. These traditions of the Egyptian source are removed many times in the Celtic traditions, but nonetheless Halloween as we know it today didn't begin around 2000 years ago. They simply reemerged into the Celtic traditions from older traditions, and this is summed up by the Roman poet Lucanus who in the first century AD wrote the following. While you ye druids when the war was done to mysteries strange and hateful rites returned, to you alone, just given the heavenly gods to know or not to know, secluded groves your dwelling place, the forests far remote. If what we sing be true, the shades of men seek not the dismal homes of death spell kingdoms, but the breath of life, still rules these bodies and other aged life on this hand and that and death between. Happy the peoples neath the northern star, in this their faults believe, for them no fear of that which frights all others, they with hands and hearts undaunted rush upon the foe and scorn to spare the life that shall return. Halloween is among the oldest traditions in the world as it touches on essential element of the human condition, the relationship between the living and the dead. Every recorded civilization has created some form of ritual observance focused on what happens to people when they die, where they go, and how the living should best honor those who have passed or respond to the dead who seem unwilling or unable to move on. Very little is known of the rituals of ancient festival of the dead because the church christianized it as with many pagan festivals and what information is available comes from irish monks who recorded the pre-christian history of their people as well as other christian scribes denigrating pagan rites. It seems however that the observance included stocking up supplies for the winter, slaughtering cattle and disposing of the bones in bonfires which in time came to be known as bonfires. There were gatherings of communities for feasting and drinking while this was going on but there was also the awareness of the thin time of the year and the possibility of other worldly visitors showing up at the party. Even loved ones were expected and welcomed and the practice of setting our favorite foods for the dead may have originated in this sense as early as 2000 years ago but many other kinds of spirits some which never had human form could also appear. Elves, fairy, the we folk spirits and the dark energies were just as likely to pay a visit as those one who longed to see again one last time. Further there was a very good chance that the spirit of a person of one who may have wronged would also make an appearance in order to deceive the spirits people darken their faces with ashes from the bonfire and this developed into wearing masks. A living person would recognize the spirit of a loved one and can then reveal themselves but otherwise remain safe from the unwanted attention of the dark forces. The Christianization of pagan symbols, temples, festivals, legends and religious iconography is well established and applies to the Siwa Festival as well as many others. Pope Boniface IV had set 13 May as all Saints Day, all Halloween's day, a feast day to celebrate those saints who do not have a date of their own. In the 7th century CE when he consecrated the great pagan temple of the Pantheon in Rome to Saint Mary and Christian martyrs but in the 8th century Pope Gregory III moved the date of the feast to 1st November. The motivation of this move is still debated, some scholars claim it was done intentionally to Christianize Siwa by turning it into all Hallows Eve which is most likely true as the move follows an established Christian paradigm of redeeming all things pagan in an effort to ease the conversion process of a given population. In the 17th century Guy Foxtey added a new component to the development of Halloween. On 5th November 1605 a group of dissident Catholics tried to assassinate the Protestant King James I of Britain in an attempt known as the Gunpowder Plot. The attempt failed and one of the group, Guy Foxtey, was caught with the explosives beneath the House of Lords and although he had co-conspirators his name attached itself famously to the plight. The night before Guy Foxtey's day bomb fires were lit and unpopular figures often the Pope were hanged in effigy while people drank, feasted and lit all fireworks. Children and the poor would go house to house often wearing masks pushing an effigy of Guy Foxtey in a wheelbarrow and begging for money or treats. When mass migration began in the 18th and 19th centuries to America these traditions were brought with them most notably the displacement of the Irish between 1845 and 1849 during the potato famine. The Irish largely Catholic continued to observe all Hallows Eve all Saints Day and all Souls Day along with the practice of Soling but these festivals by now were infused with folk traditions such as the Jack-o'-lantern.  We hope you do enjoy this festive period and we will of course be back just shortly with more content for you guys comments below and happy Halloween.