Chapter 26 of the Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Gabriel Glenn. The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2. Paris and Prison by Giacomo Casanova. Translated by Arthur Marchin. Episode 10 Under the Leads, Chapter 26 What a strange and unexplained power certain words exercise upon the soul. I, who the evening before so bravely fortified myself with my innocence and courage, by the word tribunal, was turned to a stone with merely the faculty of passive obedience left to me. My desk was open and all my papers were on a table where I was accustomed to write. Take them, said I, to the agent of the dreadful tribunal, pointing to the papers which covered the table. He filled a bag with them and gave it to one of this beady, and then told me that I must also give up the bound manuscripts which I had in my possession. I showed him where they were, and this incident opened my eyes. I saw now clearly enough that I had been betrayed by the wretch Manouzi. The books were The Key of Solomon the King, The Zechorben, A Picatris, A Book of Instructions on the Planetary Hours, and the necessary incantations for conversing with demons of all sorts. Those who were aware that I possessed these books took me for an expert magician, and I was not sorry to have such a reputation. Messer Grande also took the books on the table by my bed, such as Petrarch, Ariosto, Horus, The Military Philosopher, a manuscript which Matild had given me, The Porter of Chathros, and the Aritin, which Manouzi had also denounced, for Messer Grande asked me for it by name. This spy, Manouzi, had all the appearance of an honest man, a very necessary qualification for his profession. His son made his fortune in Poland by marrying a lady named Opeska, whom as they say he killed. Although I have never had any positive proof on the matter, and am willing to stretch Christian charity to the extent of believing he was innocent, although he was quite capable of such a crime. While Messer Grande was thus rummaging among my manuscripts, books, and letters, I was dressing myself in an absent-minded manner, neither hurrying myself nor the reverse. I made my toilet, shaved myself, and combed my hair, putting on mechanically a laced shirt and my holiday suit, without saying a word, and without Messer Grande, who did not let me escape his sight for an instant, complaining that I was dressing myself as if I were going to a wedding. As I went out, I was surprised to see a band of 40 men at arms in the anti-room. They had done me the honour of thinking all these men necessary for my arrest, though, according to the axiom, ne hercules kithem contra duos, two would have been enough. It is curious that in London, where everyone is brave, only one man is needed to arrest another, whereas in my dear native land, where cowardice prevails, 30 are required. The reason is perhaps that the coward on the offensive is more afraid than the coward on the defensive, and thus, a man usually cowardly is transformed for the moment into a man of courage. It is certain that at Venice, one often sees a man defending himself against 20 spirit, and finally escaping after beating them soundly. I remember once helping a friend of mine at Paris to escape from the hands of 40 bum bailiffs, and we put the whole vile route of them to flight. Mr. Grande made me get into a gondola and sat down near me with an escort of four men. When we came to our destination, he offered me coffee, which I refused, and he then shut me up in a room. I passed these four hours in sleep, waking up every quarter of an hour to pass water, and extraordinary currents, as I was not at all subject to strenjury. The heat was great, and I had not supped the evening before. I have noticed at other times that surprise at a deed of oppression acts on me as a powerful narcotic, but I found out at the time I speak off that great surprise is also a diuretic. I make this discovery over to the doctors. It is possible that some learned man may make use of it to solace the ills of humanity. I remember laughing very heartily at Prague six years ago on learning that some thin-skinned ladies on reading my flight from the Leeds, which was published at that date, took great offence at the above account which they thought I should have done well to leave out. I should have left it out perhaps in speaking to a lady, but the public is not a pretty woman whom I am intent on cajoling. My only aim is to be instructive. Indeed, I see no improper dietary in the circumstance I have narrated, which is as common to men and women as eating and drinking, and if there is anything in it to shock too sensitive nerves, it is that we resemble in this respect the cows and pigs. It is probable that just as my overwhelmed soul gave signs of its failing strength by the loss of the thinking faculty. So my body distilled a great part of those fluids, which by their continual circulation set the thinking faculty in motion. Thus a sudden shock might cause instantaneous death and send one to paradise by a cut much too short. In the course of time, the captain of the men-at-arms came to tell me that he was under orders to take me under the Leeds. Without a word I followed him. We went by gondola, and after a thousand turnings among the small canals, we got into the Grand Canal, and landed at the prison-key. After climbing several flights of stairs, we crossed a bridge which forms the communication between the prisons and the Dodgers Palace. Crossing the canal called Rio de Palazzo. On the other side of this bridge, there is a gallery which we traversed. We then crossed one room and entered another, where sat an individual in the dress of a noble who, after looking fixedly at me, said, This man was the secretary of the inquisitors, the prudent Dominique Cavalli, who was apparently ashamed to speak Venetian in my presence as he pronounced my doom in the Tuscan language. Mr. Grandi then made me over to the warden of the Leeds, who stood by with an enormous bunch of keys, and accompanied by two guards, made me climb two short flights of stairs at the top of which followed a passage, and then another gallery, at the end of which he opened a door, and I found myself in a dirty garret, 36 feet long by 12 broad, badly lighted by a window high up in the roof. I thought this garret was my prison, but I was mistaken. For, taking an enormous key, the gola opened a thick door lined with iron, three and a half feet high with a round hole in the middle, eight inches in diameter, just as I was looking intently at an iron machine. This machine was like a horseshoe, an inch thick, and about five inches across from one end to the other. I was thinking what could be the use to which this horrible instrument was put, when the gola said with a smile. I see, sir, that you wish to know what that is for, and as it happens, I can satisfy your curiosity.  For the confessor, God be thanked, never leaves him till he is dead. All this sounds very ingenious, and I should think that it is you who have the honor of turning the wheel. He made no answer, and signing me to enter, which I did by bending double, he shut me up, and afterwards asked me through the grated hole what I would like to eat. I haven't thought anything about it yet, I answered, and he went away, locking all the doors carefully behind him. Stunned with grief, I leaned my elbows on the top of the grating. It was crossed by six iron bars an inch thick, which formed 16 square holes. This opening would have lighted my cell, if a square beam supporting the roof which joined the wall below the window had not intercepted what little light came into that horrid gadget. After making the tour of my sad abode, my head lowered as the cell was no more than five and a half feet high, I found by groping along that it formed three quarters of a square of twelve feet. The fourth quarter was a kind of recess, which would have held a bed, but there was neither bed nor table nor chair, nor any furniture whatever except a bucket, the use of which may be guessed, and a bench fixed in the wall a foot wide and four feet from the ground. On it I placed my cloak, my fine suit, my hat trimmed with Spanish paint and adorned with a beautiful white fellow. The heat was great, and my instinct made me go mechanically to the grating, the only place where I could lean on my elbows. I could not see the window, but I saw the light in the garret and rats of a fearful size, which walked unconcernedly about it.  At the sight of these, I hastened to close up the round hole in the middle of the door with an inside shutter, for a visit from one of the rats would have frozen my blood. I passed eight hours in silence and without stirring, my arms all the time crossed on the top of the grating.  I thought they might at least let me have a chair and some bread and water. I had no appetite certainly, but were my goalers to guess as much? And never in my life had I been so thirsty. I was quite sure however that somebody would come before the close of the day. But when I heard eight o'clock strike, I became furious, knocking at the door, stamping my feet, fretting and fuming, and accompanying this useless hubbub with loud cries. After more than an hour of this wild exercise, seeing no one, without the slightest reason to think I could be heard and shrouded in darkness, I shut the grating for fear of the rats and threw myself at full length upon the floor. So cruel a desertion seemed to me unnatural, and I came to the conclusion that the inquisitors had sworn my death. My investigation as to what I had done to deserve such a fate was not a long one, for in the most scrupulous examination of my conduct I could find no crimes.  But in all that there was no offence against the state. Nevertheless, finding myself treated as a criminal, rage and despair made me express myself against the horrible despotism which oppressed me in a manner which I will leave my readers to guess, but which I will not repeat here. But notwithstanding my brief and anxiety, the hunger which began to make itself felt, and the thirst which tormented me, and the hardness of the boards on which I lay, did not prevent exhausted nature from reasserting her rights. I fell asleep. My strong constitution was in need of sleep, and in a young and healthy subject this imperious necessity silences all others, and in this way above all is sleep rightly termed the benefactor of man. The clock striking midnight awoke me. How sad is the waking when it makes one regret once empty dreams. I could scarcely believe that I had spent three painless hours. As I lay on my left side, I stretched out my right hand to get my kerchief, which I remember putting on that side. I felt about for it when, heavens, what was my surprise to feel another hand as cold as ice. The fright sent an electric shock through me, and my hair began to stand on end. Never had I been so alarmed, nor should I have previously thought myself capable of experiencing such terror. I passed three or four minutes in a kind of swoon, not only motionless, but incapable of thinking. As I got back my senses by degrees, I tried to make myself believe that the hand I fancied I had touched was a mere creature of my disordered imagination, and with this idea I stretched out my hand again and again with the same result. We numbed with fright, I uttered a piercing cry, and dropping the hand I held, I drew back my arm, trembling all over. Soon, as I got a little calmer and more capable of reasoning, I concluded that a corpse had been placed beside me whilst I slept, for I was certain it was not there when I lay down. This, said I, is the body of some strangled wretch, and they would thus warn me of the fate which is in store for me. The thought maddened me, and my fear giving place to rage for the third time I stretched my arm towards the icy hand, seizing it to make certain of the fact in all its atrocity, and wishing to get up, I rose upon my left elbow, and found that had got hold of my other hand. Deadened by the weight of my body and the hardness of the board, it had lost warmth, motion, and all sensation. Inspired of the humorous features in this incident, it did not cheer me up, but, on the contrary, inspired me with the darkest fancies. I saw that I was in a place where, if the false appeared true, the truth might appear false, where understanding was bereaved of half its prerogatives, where the imagination becoming affected would either make the reason a victim to empty hopes or to dark despair. I resolved to be on my guard, and for the first time in my life, at the age of 30, I called philosophy to my assistance. I had within me all the seeds of philosophy, but so far I had had no need for it. I am convinced that most men die without ever having thought, in the proper sense of the word, not so much for want of wit or of good sense, but rather because the shock necessary to the reasoning faculty in its inception has never occurred to them to lift them out of their daily habits. After what I had experienced, I could think of sleep no more, and to get up would have been useless as I could not stand upright, so I took the only sensible course and remained seated. I sat, thus, till four o'clock in the morning. The sun would rise at five, and I longed to see the day. For a pre-sentiment which I held infallible told me that it would set me again at liberty. I was consumed with the desire for revenge, nor did I conceal it from myself. I saw myself at the head of the people about to exterminate the government which had oppressed me. I massacred all the aristocrats without pity. All must be shattered and brought to the dust. I was delirious. I knew the authors of my misfortune, and in my fancy I destroyed them. I restored the natural right, common to all men of being obedient, only to the law, and of being tried only by their peers, and by laws to which they have agreed. In short, I built castles in Spain, such as man when he has become the prey of devouring passion. He does not suspect that the principle which moves him is not reason, but wrath, its greatest enemy. I waited for a less time than I had expected, and thus I became a little more quiet. At half past four, the deadly silence of the place, this hell of the living, was broken by the shriek of bolts being shot back in the passages leading to my cell. Have you had time yet to think about what you will take to eat? said the harsh voice of my galler from the wicket. One is lucky when the insolence of a wretch like this only shows itself in the guise of jesting. I answered that I should like some rice soup, a piece of boiled beef, a roast, bread, wine, and water. I saw that the loud was astonished not to hear the lamentations he expected. He went away, and came back again in a quarter of an hour to say that he was astonished I did not require a bed, and the necessary pieces of furniture. For, said he, if you flatter yourself that you are only here for a night, you are very much mistaken. Then bring me whatever you think necessary. Where shall I go for it? Here is a pencil and paper. Write it down. I skewed him by writing where to go for my shirts, stockings, and clothes of all sorts. A bed, table, chair, the books with measure grand they had confiscated, paper, pens, and so forth. On my reading out the list to him, the loud did not know how to read. He cried, scratch out, said he, scratch out books, paper, pens, looking glass, and raises for all that is forbidden fruit here, and then give me some money to get your dinner. I had three seconds, so I gave him one, and he went off. He spent an hour in the passages engaged, as I learned afterwards in attending on seven other prisoners who were imprisoned in cells placed far apart from each other to prevent all communication. About noon, the gola reappeared followed by five guards whose duty it was to serve the state prisoners. He opened the cell door to bring in my dinner and the furniture I had asked for. The bed was placed in the recess.  Tell me what you would like for tomorrow, said he, for I can only come here once a day at sunrise. The Lord High Secretary has told me to inform you that he will send you some suitable bucks, but those you wish for are forbidden. Thank him for his kindness in putting me by myself. I will do so, but you make a mistake in justing thus. I don't jest at all, for I think truly that it is much better to be alone than to mingle with the scoundrels who are doubtless here. What, sir? Scoundrels? Not at all, not at all. There are only respectable people here who, for reasons known to their excellencies alone, have to be sequestered from society. You have been put by yourself as an additional punishment, and you want me to thank the secretary on that account? I was not aware of that. The fool was right, and I soon found it out. I discovered that a man imprisoned by himself can have no occupations, alone in a gloomy cell where he only sees the fellow who brings his food once a day, where he cannot walk upright, he is the most wretched of men. He would like to be in hell, if he believes in it, for the sake of the company. So strong a feeling is this that I got to desire the company of a murderer, of one stricken with the plague, or of a bear. The loneliness behind the prison bars is terrible, but it must be learned by experience to be understood, and such an experience I would not wish even to my enemies. To a man of letters in my situation, paper and ink would take away nine-tenths of the torture, but the wretched who persecuted me did not dream of granting me such an alleviation of my misery. After the gola had gone, I set my table near the grating for the sake of the light, and sat down to dinner, but I could only swallow a few spoonfuls of soup. Having fasted for nearly forty-eight hours, it was not surprising that I felt ill. I passed the day quietly enough, seated on my sofa, and proposing myself to read the suitable books, which they had been good enough to promise me. I did not shut my eyes the whole night, kept awake by the hideous noise made by the rats, and by the deafening chime of the clock of St. Mark's, which seemed to be striking in my room. This double vexation was not my chief trouble, and I dare say many of my readers will guess what I am going to speak of, namely, the myriads of fleas which held high holiday over me.  At daybreak, Lawrence, such was the goaller's name, came to my cell and had my bed made, and the rooms wept and cleansed, and one of the guards gave me water wherewith to wash myself. I wanted to take a walk in the garret, but Lawrence told me that was forbidden. He gave me two thick books, which I forbore to open, not being quite sure of repressing the wrought with which they might inspire me, and which the spy would have infallibly reported to his masters. After leaving me, my fodder and two-cut lemons, he went away. As soon as I was alone, I ate my soup in a hurry, so as to take it hot, and then I drew as near as I could to the light with one of the books, and was delighted to find that I could see to read. I looked at the title and read, The Mystical City of Sister Mary of Jesus of Agraha. I had never heard of it. The other book was by a Jesuit named Caravita. This fellow, a hypocrite like the rest of them, had invented a new cult of the adoration of the sacred heart of our Lord Jesus Christ. This, according to the author, was the part of our divine redeemer, which, above all others, should be adored, a curious idea of a besotted ignoramus, with which I got disgusted at the first page, for to my thinking, the heart is no more worthy apart than the lungs, stomach, or any other of the innards. The Mystical City rather interested me. I read in it the wild conceptions of a Spanish nun, devout to superstition, melancholy, shut in by convent walls, and swayed by the ignorance and big tree of her confessors. All these grotesque, monstrous, and fantastic visions of hers were dignified with the name of Revelations. The lover and bosom friend of the Holy Virgin, she had received instructions from God himself, to write the life of his divine mother. The necessary information was furnished her by the Holy Ghost. This life of Mary began, not with the day of her birth, but with her immaculate conception in the womb of Anne her mother. This Sister Mary of Agratha was the head of a Franciscan convent founded by herself in her own house. After telling in detail all the deeds of a divine heroine, whilst in her mother's womb, she informs us that at the age of three, she swept and cleansed the house with the assistance of 900 servants, all of whom were angels whom God had placed at her disposal under the command of Michael, who came and went between God and herself to conduct their mutual correspondence. What strikes the judicious reader of the book is the evident belief of the more than fanatical writer that nothing is due to her invention. Everything is told in good faith and with full belief. The work contains the dreams of a visionary who, without vanity, but inebriated with the idea of God, thinks to reveal only the inspirations of the divine spirit. The book was published with the permission of the very holy and very horrible Inquisition. I could not recover from my astonishment. Far from its stirring up in my breast a holy and simple zeal of religion, it inclined me to treat all the mystical dogmas of the faith as fabulous. Such works may have dangerous results. For example, a more susceptible reader than myself or one more inclined to believe in the marvelous runs the risk of becoming as great a visionary as the poor nun herself. The need of doing something made me spend another week over this masterpiece of madness, the product of a hyper-exalted brain. I took care to say nothing to the gola about this fine work, but I began to feel the effects of reading it. As soon as I went off to sleep, I experienced the disease which Sister Mary of Agra had communicated to my mind weakened by melancholy, want of proper nourishment and exercise, bad air, and the horrible uncertainty of my fate. The wildness of my dreams made me laugh when I recalled them in my waking moments. If I had possessed the necessary materials I would have written my visions down and I might possibly have produced in my cell a still matter work than the one chosen with such insight by Kawali. This set me thinking how mistaken is the opinion which makes human intellect an absolute force. It is merely relative, and he who studies himself carefully will only find weakness. I perceived that though men rarely become mad, still such an event is well within the bounds of possibility. For our reasoning faculties are like powder which, though it catches fire easily, will never catch fire at all without a spark. The book of the Spanish nun has all the properties necessary to make a man crack-brained, but for the poison to take effect he must be isolated, put under the leads, and deprived of all other employments. In November 1767, as I was going from Pampeluna to Madrid, my coachman Andria Capello stopped for us to dine in a town of old Castile. So dismal and dreary a place did I find it that I asked its name, how I laughed when I was told that it was a grada. Here then, I said to myself, did that saintly lunatic produce that masterpiece which, but for Monsieur Kawali, I should never have known. An old priest who had the highest possible opinion of me in the moment I began to ask him about this truthful historian of the Mother of Christ showed me the very place where she had written it and assured me that the father, mother, sister, and in short all the kindred of the blessed biographer had been great saints in their generation. He told me and spoke truly that the Spaniards had solicited her canonization at Rome with that of the venerable Palafox. This mystical city, perhaps gave Father Malagrida the idea of writing the life of Saint Anne, written also at the dictation of the Holy Ghost, but the poor devil of a Jesuit had to suffer martyrdom for it. An additional reason for his canonization if the horrible society ever comes to life again and attains the universal power which is its secret aim. At the end of eight or nine days, I found myself moneyless. Lawrence asked me for some, but I had not got it. Where can I get some? Nowhere. What displeased, this ignorant and gossiping fellow about me was my silence and my laconic manner of talking. Next day, he told me that the tribunal had assigned me fifty shoes per diem of which he would have to take charge, but that he would give me an account of his expenditure every month and that he would spend the surplus on what I liked. Get me the laden gadget twice a week. I can't do that because it is not allowed by the authorities. Sixty-five leaves a month was more than I wanted, since I could not eat more than I did. The great heat and the want of proper nourishment had weakened me. It was in the dark days. The strength of the sun's rays upon the lid of the roof made my cell like a stove so that the streams of perspiration which rolled off my poor body as I sat quite naked on my sofa chair, wetted the floor to right and left of me.  At the end of this almost incredible time, nature reasserted herself, and I thought my last hour was come. The hammeroidal veins were swollen to such an extent that the pressure on them gave me almost unbearable agony. To this fatal time, I owe the inception of that sad infirmity, of which I have never been able to completely cure myself. The recurrence of the same pains, though not so acute, remind me of the cause and do not make my remembrance of it any the more agreeable. This disease got me compliments in Russia when I was there ten years later, and I found it in such esteem that I did not dare to complain. The same kind of thing happened to me at Constantinople. When I was complaining of a cold in the head in the presence of a Turk who was thinking, I could see, that a dog of a Christian was not worthy of such a blessing. The same day I sickened with a high fever and kept my bed. I said nothing to Lawrence about it, but the day after, on finding my dinner untouched, he asked me how I was. Very well. That can t be, sir, as you have eaten nothing. You are ill, and you will experience the generosity of the tribunal, who will provide you without fee or charge with a physician, surgeon, and all necessary medicines. He went out, returning after three hours without guards, holding a candle in his hand and followed by a grave-looking personage. This was the doctor. I was in the height of the fever, which had not left me for three days. He came up to me and began to ask me questions, but I told him that with my confessor and my doctor, I would only speak apart. The doctor told Lawrence to leave the room, but on the refusal of that argous to do so, he went away saying I was dangerously ill, possibly unto death. For this, I hoped, for my life, as it had become, was no longer my chiefest good. I was somewhat glad also to think that my pitiless persecutors might, on hearing of my condition, be forced to reflect on the cruelty of the treatment to which they had subjected me. Four hours afterwards, I heard the noise of bolts once more, and the doctor came in holding the candle himself. Lawrence remained outside. I had become so weak that I experienced a grateful restfulness. Currently, nature does not suffer a man seriously ill to feel weary. I was delighted to hear that my infamous turnkey was outside. For since his explanation of the iron collar, I had looked at him with loathing. In a quarter of an hour, I had told the doctor all. If you want to get well, said he, we must not be melancholy. Write me the prescription and take it to the only up of the carry who can make it up. Monsieur Cavalli is the bad doctor who exhibited the heart of Jesus and the mystical city. These two preparations are quite capable of having brought on the fever and the hemorrhoids. I will not forsake you. After making me a large jug of lemonade and telling me to drink frequently, he went away. I slept soundly, dreaming fantastic dreams. In the morning, the doctor came again with Lawrence and a surgeon who bled me. The doctor left me some medicine which he told me to take in the evening and a bottle of soap. I have obtained leave, said he, for you to move into the garret where the heat is less and the air better than here. I declined the favour as I abominate the rats, which you know nothing about and which would certainly get into my bed. What a pity!  I much obliged to you.  I am leaving you a very necessary instrument and some barley water for you to refresh yourself with. He visited me four times and pulled me through. My constitution did the rest and my appetite returned. At the beginning of September, I found myself on the whole very well, suffering from no actual else except the heat, the vermin and weariness for I could not be always reading both years.  I took advantage of the favour to walk up and down for the 10 minutes taken by these operations and as I walked hard, the rats were alarmed and dared not show themselves. On the same day, Lawrence gave me an account of my money and bought himself in as my debtor to the amount of 30 labourers, which however I could not put into my pocket. I left the money in his hands telling him to lay it out on masses on my behalf, feeling sure that he would make quite a different use of it. And he thanked me in a tone that persuaded me he would be his own priest. I gave him the money every month and I never saw a priest receipt. Lawrence was wise to celebrate the sacrifice at the tavern. The money was useful to someone at all events. I lived from day to day, persuading myself every night that the next day I should be at liberty. But as I was each day deceived, I decided in my poor brain that I should be set free without fail on the 1st of October, on which day the new inquisitors began their term of office. According to this theory, my imprisonment would last as long as the authority of the present inquisitors and thus was explained the fact that I had seen nothing of the secretary who would otherwise have undoubtedly come to interrogate, examine and convict me of my crimes and finally to announce my doom. All this appeared to me unanswerable because it seemed natural, but it was fallacious under the leads where nothing is done after the natural order. I imagined the inquisitors must have discovered my innocence and the wrong they had done me, and that they only kept me in prison for form's sake and to protect their repute from the stain of committing injustice. Hence I concluded that they would give me my freedom when they laid down their tyrannical authority. My mind was so composed and quiet that I felt as if I could forgive them and forget the wrong that they had done me. How can they leave me here to the mercy of their successors? I thought, to whom they cannot leave any evidence capable of condemning me? I could not believe that my sentence had been pronounced and confirmed without my being told of it, or of the reasons by which my judges had been actuated. I was so certain that I had right on my side that I reasoned accordingly. But this was not the attitude I should have assumed towards a court which stands aloof from all the courts in the world for its unbounded absolutism. To prove anyone guilty, it is only necessary for the inquisitors to proceed against him. So there is no need to speak to him, and when he is condemned, it would be useless to announce to the prisoner his sentence, as his consent is not required, and they prefer to leave the poor wretch the feeling of hope. And certainly, if he were told the whole process, imprisonment would not be shortened by an hour. The wise man tells no one of his business, and the business of the Tribunal of Venice is only to judge and to doom. The guilty party is not required to have any share in the matter. He is like a nail, which, to be driven into a wall, needs only to be struck. To a certain extent, I was acquainted with the ways of the Colossus which was crushing me underfoot. But there are things on earth which one can only truly understand by experience. If, amongst my readers, there are any who think such laws unjust, I forgive them, as I know they have a strong likeness to injustice. But let me tell them that they are also necessary, as a Tribunal like the Venetian could not subsist without them. Those who maintain these laws in full vigor are Senators, chosen from among the fittest for that office, and with a reputation for honor and virtue. The last day of September, I passed a sleepless night and was on thorns to see the dawn appear, so sure was I that that day would make me free. The rain of those villains who had made me a captive drew to a close, but the dawn appeared.  For five or six days, I hovered between rage and despair, and then I imagined that for some reasons which to me were unfathomable, they had decided to keep me prisoner for the remainder of my days. This awful idea only made me laugh, for I knew that it was in my power to remain a slave for no long time, but only till I should take it into my own hands to break my prison. I knew that I should escape or die. In the beginning of November, I seriously formed the plan of forcibly escaping from a place where I was forcibly kept. I began to rack my brains to find a way of carrying the idea into execution, and I conceived a hundred schemes, each one bolder than the other, but a new plan always made me give up the one I was on the point of accepting. While I was immersed in this toilsome sea of thought, an event happened which brought home to me the sad state of mind I was in. I was standing up in the garret looking towards the top, and my glance fell on the great beam, not shaking, but turning on its right side, and then by slow and interrupted movement in the opposite direction, turning again and replacing itself in its original position. As I lost my balance at the same time, I knew it was the shock of an earthquake. Lawrence and the guards, who just then came out of my room, said that they too had felt the earth tremble. In such despair was I that this incident made me feel a joy, which I kept to myself, saying nothing. Four or five seconds after the same movement occurred, and I could not refrain from saying another, oh my god, but stronger. The guards, terrified with what they thought, the impious ravings of a desperate madman, fled in horror. After they were gone, as I was pondering the matter over, I found that I looked upon the overthrow of the Dodgers palace as one of the events which might lead to liberty. The mighty pile, as it fell, might throw me safe and sound and consequently free on St. Mark's place, or at the worst of it could only crush me beneath its ruins. Situated as I was, liberty reckons for all, and life for nothing, or rather for very little. Thus, in the depths of my soul, I began to grow mad. This earthquake shock was a result of those which at the same time destroyed Lisbon. Chapter 27 Part 1 of the Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Patrick Wu The Memoirs of Jacques Casanova, Volume 2, Paris and Prison by Giacomo Casanova Translated by Arthur Machin Episode 10 Under the Leads Chapter 27 Part 1 To make the reader understand how I managed to escape from a place like the Leads, I must explain the nature of the locality. The Leads, used for the confinement of state prisoners, are in fact the lofts of the Ducal Palace and take their name from the large plates of lead with which the roof is covered. One can only reach them through the gates of the palace, the prison buildings, or by the bridge of which I have spoken, called the Bridge of Size. It is impossible to reach the cells without passing through the hall where the state inquisitors hold their meetings, and their secretary has the sole charge of the key, which he only gives to the jailer for a short time in the early morning while he is attending to the prisoners. This is done at daybreak, because otherwise the guards as they came in went would be in the way of those who have to do with the Council of Ten, as the Council meets every day in a hall called the Boussala, which the guards have to cross every time they go to the Leads. The prisons are under the roof on two sides of the palace, three to the west, mine being among the number, and four to the east. On the west, the roof looks into the court of the palace, and on the east, straight on to the canal called Rio de Palazzo. On this side, the cells are well lighted, and one can stand up straight, which is not the case in the prison where I was, which was distinguished by the name of Trave, on account of the enormous beam which deprived me of light. The floor of my cell was directly over the ceiling of the inquisitors hall, where they commonly met only at night after the sitting of the Council of Ten, of which the whole three are members. As I knew my ground and the habits of the inquisitors perfectly well, the only way to escape, the only way, at least which I deemed likely to succeed, was to make a hole in the floor of my cell. But to do this, tools must be obtained, a difficult task in a place where all communication with the outside world was forbidden, where neither letters nor visitors were allowed. To bribe a guard, a good deal of money would be necessary, and I had none. And supposing that the jailer and his two guards allowed themselves to be strangled, for my hands were my only weapons, there was always a third guard on duty at the door of the passage, which he locked and would not open till his fellow, who wished to pass through, gave him the password. In spite of all these difficulties, my only thought was how to escape, and as Boethius gave me no hints on this point, I read him no more, and as I was certain that the difficulty was only to be solved by stress of thinking, I centered all my thoughts on this one object. It has always been my opinion that when a man sets himself determinedly to do something, and thinks of not but his design, he must succeed despite all difficulties in his path. Such an one may make himself Pope or Grand Vizier, he may overturn an ancient line of kings, provided that he knows how to seize on his opportunity, and be a man of wit and pertenacity. To succeed, one must count on being fortunate and despise all ill success, but it is a most difficult operation. Towards the middle of November, Lawrence told me that Messer Grande had a prisoner in his hands, whom the new secretary, Bucinello, had ordered to be placed in the worst cell, and who consequently was going to share mine.  I was not sorry to hear the news, or that there was a new secretary. This Messer Pierre Bucinello was a worthy man whom I knew at Paris. He afterwards went to London as ambassador of the Republic. In the afternoon, I heard the noise of the bolts, and presently Lawrence and two guards entered, leading in a young man who was weeping bitterly. And after taking off his handcuffs, they shut him up with me, and went out without saying a word. I was lying on my bed, and he could not see me. I was amused at his astonishment. Being, fortunately for himself, seven or eight inches shorter than I, he was able to stand upright, and he began to inspect my armchair, which he doubtless thought was meant for his own use. Glancing at the ledge above the grating, he saw Boethius, took it up, opened it, and put it down with a kind of passion, probably because being in Latin it was of no use to him. Continuing his inspection of the cell, he went to the left, and groping about was much surprised to find clothes. He approached the recess, and stretching out his hand, he touched me, and immediately begged my pardon in a respectful manner. I asked him to sit down, and we were friends. Who are you, said I? I am Magiorene of Vicenza. My father, who was a coachman, kept me at school till I was eleven, by which time I had learned to read and write. I was afterwards apprenticed to a barber, where I learned my business thoroughly. After that, I became valet to the count of X. I had been in the service of the nobleman for two years when his daughter came from the convent. It was my duty to do her hair, and by degrees I fell in love with her, and inspired her with a reciprocal passion. After having sworn a thousand times to exist only for one another, we gave ourselves up to the task of showing each other marks of our affection, the result of which was the state of the young countess discovered all. An old and devoted servant was the first to find out our connection, and the condition of my mistress, and she told her that she felt in duty bound to tell her father, but my sweetheart succeeded in making her promise to be silent, saying that in the course of the week, she herself would tell him through her confessor. She informed me of all this, and instead of going to confession, we prepared for flight. She had laid hands on a good sum of money and some diamonds which had belonged to her mother, and we were to set out for Milan tonight. But today, the count called me after dinner, and giving me a letter, he told me to start at once and to deliver it with my own hand to the person to whom it was addressed at Venice. He spoke to me so kindly and quietly, that I had not the slightest suspicion of the fate in store for me. I went to get my cloak, said goodbye to my little wife, telling her that I should soon return. Seeing deeper below the surface than I, and for chance having a sentiment of my misfortune, she was sick at heart. I came here in hot haste and took care to deliver the fatal letter. They made me wait for an answer, and in the meantime I went to an inn. But as I came out, I was arrested and put in the guard room, where I was kept till they brought me here. I suppose, sir, I might consider the young countess as my wife? You make a mistake. But nature, nature, when a man listens to her and nothing else, takes him from one folly to another till she puts him under the leads. I am under the leads, then, am I? As I am. The poor young man shed some bitter tears. He was a well-made lad, open, honest, and amorous beyond words. I secretly pardoned the countess and condemned the court for exposing his daughter to such temptation. A shepherd who shuts up the wolf in the fold should not complain if his flock be devoured. In all his tears and lamentations he thought not of himself, but always of his sweetheart. He thought that the jailer would return and bring him some food and a bed. But I undeceived him, and offered him a share of what I had. His heart, however, was too full for him to eat. In the evening I gave him my mattress, on which he passed the night. For though he looked neat and clean enough, I did not care to have him to sleep with me, dreading the result of a lover's dreams. He neither understood how wrongly he had acted, nor how the court was constrained to punish him publicly as a cloak to the honor of his daughter and his house. The next day he was given a mattress and a dinner to the value of fifteen sews, which the tribunal had assigned to him, either as a favor or a charity, for the word justice would not be appropriate in speaking of this terrible body. I told the jailer that my dinner would suffice for the two of us, and that he could employ the young man's allowance in saying masses in his usual manner. He agreed willingly, and having told him that he was lucky to be in my company, he said that we could walk in the garret for half an hour. I found this walk an excellent thing for my health and my plan of escape, which, however, I could not carry out for eleven months afterwards. At the end of this resort of rats, I saw a number of old pieces of furniture thrown on the ground to the right and left of two great chests, and in front of a large pile of papers sewn up into separate volumes. I helped myself to a dozen of them for the sake of reading, and I found them to be accounts of trials and very diverting, for I was allowed to read these papers, which at once contained such secrets. I found some curious replies to the judge's questions respecting the seduction of maidens, gallantries carried a little too far by persons employed in girls' schools, facts relating to confessors who had abused their penitents, schoolmasters convicted of pederasty with their pupils, and guardians who had seduced their wards. Some of the papers dating two or three centuries back, in which the style and manners illustrated, gave me considerable entertainment.  From this I concluded that some prisoner of distinction had been allowed to make use of these articles, but what interested me most was a straight iron bar, as thick as my thumb, and about a foot and a half long. However, I left everything as it was, as my plans had not been sufficiently ripened by time for me to appropriate any object in particular. One day, towards the end of the month, my companion was taken away, and Lawrence told me that he had been condemned to the prisoners known as the Force, which are within the same walls as the ordinary prisons, but belong to the state inquisitors. Those confined in them have the privilege of being able to call the jailer when they like. The prisons are gloomy, but there is an oil lamp at the midst which gives the necessary light, and there is no fear of fire as everything is made of marble. I heard a long time after that the unfortunate Magiorene was there for five years, and was afterwards sent to Cherego for ten. I do not know whether he ever came from there. He had kept me good company, and this I discovered as soon as he was gone, for in a few days I became as melancholy as before. Fortunately, I was still allowed my walk in the Garrett, and I began to examine its contents with more minuteness. One of the chests was full of fine papers, pieces of cardboard, uncut pens, and clues of packed thread. The other was fastened down.  A week after Magiorene had gone, Lawrence told me that in all probability I should soon get another companion. This fellow Lawrence, who at bottom was a mere gabbling fool, began to get uneasy at my never asking him any questions. This fondness for gossip was not altogether appropriate to his office, but wears one to find beings absolutely vile. There are such persons, but happily they are few and far between, and are not to be sought for in the lower orders. Thus my jailer found himself unable to hold his tongue, and thought that the reason I asked no questions must be that I thought him incapable of answering them. And feeling hurt at this, and wishing to prove to me that I made a mistake, he began to gossip without being solicited. I believe you will often have visitors, said he, as the other six cells have each two prisoners who are not likely to be sent to the force. I made him no reply, but he went on, in a few seconds. They sent to the force all sorts of people after they have been sentenced, though they know nothing of that. The prisoners whom I have charge of under the leads are like yourself, persons of note, and are only guilty of deeds which the inquisitive must know nothing. If you knew, sir, what sort of people shared your fate, you would be astonished. It's true that you are called a man of parts, but you will pardon me. You know that all men of parts are treated well here. You take me, I see, fifty sues a day, that's something. They give three levers to a citizen, four to a gentleman, and eight to a foreign court. I had to know, I think, as everything goes through my hands. He then commenced to sing his own praises, which consisted of negative clauses. I'm no thief, nor traitor, nor greedy, nor malicious, nor brutal, as all my predecessors were, and when I have drunk a pint over and above, I'm all the better for it. If my father had sent me to school, I should have learned to read and write, and I might be Miser Grande today, but that's not my fault. Miser Andre Dieiro has a high opinion of me. My wife, who cooks for you every day, and is only twenty-four, goes to see him when she will, and he will have her come in without ceremony, if he be in bed, and that's more than he'll do for a senator. I promise you, you will be always having the newcomers in your cell, but never for any length of time, for as soon as the secretary has got what he wants to know from them, he sends them to their place, to the fours, to some fort, or to the levante, and if they be foreigners they are sent across the frontier, for our government does not hold itself master of the subjects of other princes, if they be not in his service. The clemency of the court is beyond compare. There's not another in the world that treats its prisoner so well. They say it's cruel to disallow writing in visitors, but that's foolish, for what are writing in company but waste of time? You will tell me that you have nothing to do, but we can't say as much. Such was, almost word for word, the first harangue with which the fellow honored me, and I must say I found it amusing. I saw that if the man had been less of a fool, he would most certainly have been more of a scoundrel. The next day brought me a new messmate, who was treated as Magior Ring had been, and I thus found it necessary to buy another ivory spoon, for as the newcomers were given nothing on the first day of their imprisonment, I had to do all the honors of the cell. My new mate made me a low bow, for my beard, now four inches long, was still more imposing than my figure. Lawrence often let me scissors to cut my nails, but he was forbidden under pain of very heavy punishment to let me touch my beard. I knew not the reason of this order, but I ended by becoming used to my beard as one gets used to everything. The newcomer was a man of about 50, approaching my size, a little bent, thin, with a large mouth and very bad teeth.  He accepted my offer of dinner, but was reserved and said not a word the whole day, and I was also silent, thinking he would soon recover the use of his tongue as he did the next day. Early in the morning, he was given a bed and bag of full linen. The jailer asked him, as he had asked me, what he would have for dinner and for money to pay for it. I have no money. What?  I haven't to sue. Very good. In that case, I will get you some army biscuit and water, according to instructions. He went out and returned directly afterwards with a pound and a half of biscuit and a pitcher, which he set before the prisoner and then went away. Left alone with this phantom, I heard a sigh, and my pity made me break the silence. Don't sigh, sir. You shall share my dinner, but I think you have made a great mistake in coming here without money. I have some, but it does not do to let those harpies know of it. And so you condemn yourself to bread and water? Truly a wise proceeding. Do you know the reason of your imprisonment? Yes, sir. I will endeavor in a few words to inform you of it. My name is Squaldo Nobili. My father was a countryman who had me taught reading and writing, and at his death left me as cottage and the small patch of ground belonging to it. I lived in Friuli, about a day's journey from the marshes of Uddin. As a torrent called Corno, often damaged my little property, I determined to sell it and to set up in Venice, which I did ten years ago. I brought with me eight thousand levers in fair sequence, and knowing that in this happy commonwealth, all men enjoy the blessings of liberty, I believed that by utilizing my capital, I might make a little income, and I began to lend money on security. Relying on my thrift, my judgment, and my knowledge of the world, I chose this business in preference to all others. I rented a small house in the neighborhood of the Royal Canal, and having finished it, I lived there in comfort by myself. And in the course of two years, I found I had made a profit of ten thousand levers, though I had expended two thousand on household expenses as I wished to live in comfort. In this fashion, I saw myself in a fair way of making a respectable fortune in time. But one day, having lent a Jew two sequins upon some books, I found one amongst them called Le Sagesse, by Charon. It was then I found out how good a thing it is to be able to read, for this book, which you, sir, may not have read, contains all that a man need know, purging him of all the prejudices of his childhood.  One's eyes are open, one knows the way to bliss, one becomes wise indeed.  This curious discourse made me know my man. As to Charon, I read the book though I did not know it had been translated into Italian. The author, who was a great admirer of Montaigne, thought to surpass his model, but toiled in vain. He is not much read, despite the prohibition to read his works, which should have given them some popularity. He had the impudence to give his book the title of one of Solomon's treatises, a circumstance which does not say much for his modesty. My companion went on as follows. Set free by Charon from any scruples I still might have, and from those false ideas so hard to rid oneself of, I pushed my business in such sort, that at the end of six years I could lay my hand on ten thousand sequins. There's no need for you to be astonished at this, as in this wealthy city gambling, debauchery, and idleness set all the world awry in a continual need of money. So do the wise gather what the fool drops. Three years ago, a certain Count Ceremon came and asked me to take from him five hundred sequins, to put them in my business, and to give him half profits. All he asked was for an obligation in which I promised to return him the whole sum on demand. At the end of a year, I sent him seventy-five sequins, which made fifteen percent on his money. He gave me a receipt for it, but was ill-pleased. He was wrong, for I was in no need of money, and had not used his for business purposes. At the end of the second year, out of pure generosity, I sent him the same amount, but we came to a quarrel and he demanded the return of the five hundred sequins. Certainly, I said, but I must deduct the hundred and fifty you have already received. Enraged at this, he served me with a writ for the payment of the whole sum. A clever lawyer undertook my defense and was able to gain me two years. Three months ago, I was spoken to as to an agreement, and I refused to hear of it, but fearing violence, I went to the Abe Justiniani, the Spanish ambassador's secretary, and for a small sum, he let me a house on the precincts of the embassy, where one is safe from surprises. I was quite willing to let Count Ceremon have his money, but I claimed a reduction of a hundred sequins on account for the costs of the lawsuit. A week ago, the lawyers on both sides came to me. I showed them a purse of two hundred and fifty sequins and told them they might take it, but not a penny more. They went away without saying a word, both wearing an ill-pleased air, of which I took no notice. Three days ago, the Abe Justiniani told me that the ambassador had thought fit to give permission to the state inquisitors to send their men at once to my house to make search therein. I thought the thing impossible under the shelter of a foreign ambassador, and instead of taking the usual precautions, I waited the approach of the men at arms, only putting my money in a place of safety. At daybreak, Miser Grande came to the house and asked me for three hundred and fifty sequins, and on my telling him that I had enough farthing he seized me, and here I am. I sheltered, less at having such an infamous companion than at his evidently considering me as his equal, for if he had thought of me in any other light he would certainly not have told me this long tale, doubtless in the belief that I should take his part. In all the folly about Sharon with which he tormented me in the three days we were together, I found my bitter experience the truth of the Italian proverb. By reading the work of the misguided priest he had become an atheist, and of this he made his boast all the day long. In the afternoon, Lawrence came to tell me to come and speak with the secretary. He dressed himself hastily, and instead of his own shoes, he took mine without my seeing him. He came back in half an hour in tears, and took out of his shoes two purses containing three hundred and fifty sequins, and the jailer going before, he went to take them to the secretary. A few moments afterwards he returned, and taking his cloak went away. Lawrence told me that he had been set at liberty. I thought, and with good reason, that to make him a knowledge as that and pay it, the secretary had threatened him with torture, and if it were only used in similar cases I, who detest the principle of torture, would be the first to proclaim its utility. On New Year's Day 1733 I received my presence. Lawrence brought me a dressing gown lined with fox skin, a coverlet of wadded silk, and a bearskin bag for me to put my legs in, which I welcomed gladly, for the coldness was unbearable as the heat in August. Lawrence told me that I might spend to the amount of six sequins a month, that I might have what books I liked, and take in the newspaper, and that this present came from Miser de Braga-Din. I asked him for a pencil, and I wrote upon a scrap of paper. I am grateful for the kindness of the tribunal and the goodness of Miser de Braga-Din. The man who would know what were my feelings at all this must have been in a similar situation to my own. In the first gush of feeling I forgave my oppressors, and was on the point of giving up the idea of escape, so easily shall you move a man that you have brought low and overwhelmed with misfortune. Lawrence told me that Miser de Braga-Din had come before the three inquisitors, and that on his knees, and with tears in his eyes, he had entreated them to let him give me this mark of his affection if I were still in the land of the living. The inquisitors were moved, and were not able to refuse his request. I wrote down without delay the names of the books I wanted. One fine morning, as I was walking in the garret, my eyes fell on the iron bar I have mentioned, and I saw that it might very easily be made into a defensive or offensive weapon. I took possession of it, and having hidden it under my dressing gown, I conveyed it into my cell. As soon as I was alone, I took the piece of black marble, and I found that I had to my hand an excellent whetstone, for by rubbing the bar with the stone I obtained a very good edge. My interest roused in this work in which I was but an apprentice, and in the fashion of which I seemed likely to become possessed of an instrument totally prohibited under the leads, impelled perhaps, also by my vanity to make a weapon without any of the necessary tools, and incited by my varied difficulties, for I worked away till dark without anything to hold my whetstone except my left hand, and without a drop of oil to soften the iron. I made up my mind to persevere in my difficult task. My saliva served me in the stead of oil, and I toiled eight days to produce eight edges terminating in a sharp point, the edges being an inch and a half in length. My bar, thus sharpened, formed an eight-sided dagger, and would have done justice to a first-rate cutler. No one can imagine the toil and trouble I had to bear, nor the patience required to finish this difficult task without any other tools than a loose piece of stone. I put myself, in fact, to a kind of torture unknown to the tyrants of all ages. My right arm had become so stiff that I could hardly move it. The palm of my hand was covered with a large scar, the result of the numerous blisters caught by the hardness and the length of the work. No one would guess the sufferings I underwent to bring my work to completion. Proud of what I had done, without thinking what use I could make of my weapon, my first care was to hide it in such a manner as would defy a minute search. After thinking over a thousand plans to all of which there was some objection, I cast my eyes on my armchair, and there I contrived to hide it so as to be secure from all suspicion. Thus did Providence aid me to contrive a wonderful and almost inconceivable plan of escape. I confessed to a feeling of vanity, not because I eventually succeeded, for I owed something to good luck, but because I was brave enough to undertake such a scheme in spite of the difficulties which might have ruined my plans and prevented my ever-attaining liberty. After thinking for three or four days as to what I should do with the bar I had made into an edged tool, as thick as a walking stick and twenty inches long, I determined that the best plan would be to make a hole in the floor under my bed. I was sure that the room below my cell was no other than the one in which I had seen Monsieur Cavalli. I knew that this room was open every morning and I felt persuaded that, after I had made my hole, I could easily let myself down with my sheets, which I would make into a rope and fasten to my bed. Once there, I would hide under the table of the court, and in the morning, when the door was open, I could escape and get to a place of safety before anyone could follow me. I thought it possible that a century might be placed in the hall, but my short pike ought to soon rid me of him. The floor might be of a double or even of triple thickness, and this thought puzzled me, for in that case how is I to prevent the guards sweeping out the room throughout the two months my work might last? If I forbade them to do so, I might rouse suspicion. All the more as, to free myself of the fleas, I had requested them to sweep out the cell every day, and in sweeping they would soon discover what I was about. I might find some way out of this difficulty. I began by forbidding them to sweep without giving any reason. A week after, Lawrence asked me why I did so. I told him because of the dust which might make me cough violently and give me some fatal injury. I will make them water the floor, said he. That would be worse, Lawrence, for the damp might cause a plethora. In this manner, I obtained a weak respite, but at the end of that time the loud gave orders that my cell should be swept. He had the bed carried out into the garret, and on pretense of having the sweeping done with greater care, he lighted a candle. This let me know that the rascal was suspicious of something, but I was crafty enough to take no notice of him, and so far from giving up my plea, I only thought how I could put it on good terrain. Next morning, I pricked my finger and covered my handkerchief with the blood, and then awaited Lawrence in bed. As soon as he came, I told him that I had coughed so violently as to break a blood vessel, which had made me bring up all the blood he saw. Get me a doctor. The doctor came, ordered me to be blood, and wrote me a prescription. I told him it was Lawrence's fault, as he had persisted in having the room swept. The doctor blamed him for doing so, and just as if I had asked him, he told us of a young man who had died from the same cause, and said that there was nothing more dangerous than breathing in dust. Lawrence called all the gods to witness that he had only had the room swept for my sake, and promised it should not happen again. I laughed to myself, for the doctor could not have played his part better if I had given him the word. The guards who were there were delighted, and say they would take care only to sweep the cells of those prisoners who had angered them. When the doctor was gone, Lawrence begged my pardon, and assured me that all the other prisoners were in good health, although their cells were swept out regularly. But what the doctor says is worth considering, said he, and I shall tell them all about it, for I look upon them as my children. The bloodletting did me good, as it made me sleep, and relieved me of the spasms with which I was sometimes troubled. I had regained my appetite and was getting back to my strength every day, but the time to set about my work was not yet come. It was still too cold, and I could not hold the bar for any length of time without my hand becoming stiff. My scheme required much thought. I had to exercise boldness and foresight to rid myself of troubles which chance might bring to pass, or which I could foresee. The situation of a man who had to act as I had is an unhappy one, but in risking all for all, half its bitterness vanishes. The long nights of winter distressed me, for I had to pass 19 mortal hours in darkness, and on the cloudy days, which are common enough at Venice, the light I had was not sufficient for me to be able to breathe. Without any distractions, I fell back on the idea of my escape, and a man who always thinks on one subject is in danger of becoming a monomaniac. A wretched kitchen lamp would have made me happy, but how am I to get such a thing? Oh, blessed prerogative of thought, how happy was I when I thought I had found a way to possess myself with such a treasure. To make such a lamp, I required a vase, wicks, oil, a flint and steel, tinder, and matches. A poringer would do for the vase, and I had one which was used for cooking eggs and butter. Pretending that the common oil did not agree with me, I got them to buy me Luca oil for my salad, and my cotton counter pain would finish me with wicks. I then said I had the toothache, and asked Lawrence to give me a pumice stone, but as he did not know what I meant, I told him that a musket flint would do as well if it were soaked in vinegar for a day, and then being applied to the tooth the pain would be eased. Lawrence told me that the vinegar I had was excellent, and that I could soak the stone myself, and he gave me three or four flints he had in his pocket. All I had to do was get some sulfur and tinder, and the procuring of these two articles set all my wits to work. At last, fortune came to my assistance. End of Chapter 27 Part 1 Recording by Patrick Wu, Orange, California Chapter 27 Of the Memoirs of Jacques Cassanova, Volume 2 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Eva Easton The Memoirs of Jacques Cassanova, Volume 2 Paris and Prison by Jacques Cassanova Translated by Arthur Machin Episode 10 Chapter 27 I had suffered from a kind of rash, which as it came off had left some red spots on my arms, and occasionally caused me some irritation. I told Lawrence to ask the doctor for a cure, and the next day he brought me a piece of paper, which the Secretary had seen, and on which the doctor had written, regulate the food for a day and the skin will be cured by four ounces of oil of sweet almonds or an ointment of flour of sulfur. But this local application is hazardous. Never mind the danger, said I to Lawrence. Buy me the ointment or rather get me the sulfur as I have some butter by me and I can make it up myself. Have you any matches? Give me a few. He found some in his pockets and he gave me them. What a small thing brings comfort and distress, but in my place these matches were no small thing, but rather a great treasure. I had puzzled my head for several hours as to what substitute I could find for Tinder, the only thing I still lacked, and which I could not ask for under any pretense whatsoever, when I remembered that I had told the tailor to put some under the armpits of my coat to prevent the perspiration spoiling the stuff. The coat quite new was before me and my heart began to beat, but supposing the tailor had not put it in. Thus I hung between hope and fear. I had only to take a step to know all, but such a step would have been decisive and I dared not take it. At last I drew nigh and feeling myself unworthy of such mercies. I fell on my knees and fervently prayed of God that the tailor might not have forgotten the Tinder. After this heartfelt prayer I took my coat, unsoated, and found the Tinder. My joy knew no bounds. I naturally gave thanks to God since it was with confidence in him that I took courage and searched my coat and I returned thanks to him with all my heart. I now had all the necessary materials and I soon made myself a lamp. Let the reader imagine my joy at having in a manner made light in the midst of darkness, and it was no less sweet because against the orders of my infamous oppressors. Now there was no more night for me and also no more salad, for though I was very fond of it, the need of keeping the oil to give light caused me to make this sacrifice without it costing me many pangs. I fixed upon the first Monday in Lent to begin the difficult work of breaking through the floor, for I suspected that in the tumult of the carnival I might have some visitors, and I was in the right. At noon, on Quincuaghesima Sunday, I heard the noise of the bolts, and presently Lawrence entered, followed by a thick-set man whom I recognized as the Jew Gabriel Chalon, known for lending money to young men. We knew each other, so exchanged compliments. His company was by no means agreeable to me, but my opinion was not asked. He began by congratulating me on having the pleasure of his society, and by way of answer I offered him to share my dinner, but he refused, saying he would only take a little soup and would keep his appetite for better supper at his own house. When? This evening. You heard when I asked for my bed he told me that we would talk about that tomorrow. That means plainly that I shall have no need of it. And do you think it likely that a man like me would be left without anything to eat? That was my experience. Possibly, but between ourselves our cases are somewhat different, and without going any farther into that question the inquisitors have made a mistake in arresting me, and they will be in some trouble I am certain as how to atone for doing so. They will possibly give you a pension. A man of your importance has to be conciliated. True, there is not a broker on the exchange more useful than myself, and the five sages have often profited by the advice I have given them. My detention is a curious incident which perchance will be of service to you. Indeed, how may I ask? I will get you out of here in a month's time. I know to whom to speak, and what way to do it. I reckon on you then. You may do so. This naïve and fool together believed himself to be somebody. He volunteered to inform me as to what was being said of me in the town. But as he only related the idle tales of men, as ignorant as himself, he wearied me, and to escape listening to him I took up a book. The fellow had the imputance to ask me not to read, as he was very fond of talking, but henceforth he talked only to himself. I did not dare to light my lamp before this creature, and as night drew on he decided on accepting some bread and cypress wine, and he was afterwards obliged to do as best he could with my mattress, which was now the common bed of all newcomers. In the morning he had a bed and some food from his own house. I was burdened with this wretched fellow for two months, for before condemning him to the fours the secretary had several interviews with him to bring to light his neighbouries, and to oblige him to cancel a goodly number of illegal agreements. He confessed to me himself that he had bought of M. Domenico Michele the right to monies which could not belong to the buyer till after the father of the seller was dead. It's true, said he, that he agreed to give me fifty percent, but you must consider that if he died before his father I should lose all. At last, seeing that my cursed fellow did not go, I determined to light my lamp again after having made him promise to observe secrecy. He only kept his promise while he was with me, as Lawrence knew all about it, but luckily he attached no importance to the fact. This unwelcome guest was a true burden to me, as he not only prevented me from working for my escape but also from reading. He was troublesome, ignorant, superstitious, a braggart, cowardly, and sometimes like a madman. He would have had me cry since fear made him weep, and he said over and over again that this imprisonment would ruin his reputation. On this count I reassured him with a sarcasm he did not understand. I told him that his reputation was too well known to suffer anything from this little misfortune, and he took that for a compliment. He would not confess to being a miser, but I made him admit that if the inquisitors would give him a hundred sequins for every day of his imprisonment he would gladly pass the rest of his life under the leads. He was a telmudist, like all modern Jews, and he tried to make me believe that he was very devout, but I once extracted a smile of approbation from him by telling him that he would force where Moses, if the Pope would make him a cardinal. As the son of a rabbi he was learned in all the ceremonies of his religion, but like most men he considered the essence of a religion to lie in its discipline and outward forms. This Jew, who was extremely fat, passed three-quarters of his life in bed, and though he often dozed in the daytime he was annoyed at not being able to sleep at night, all the more as he saw that I slept excellently. He once took it into his head to wake me up as I was enjoying my sleep. What do you want, said I, waking me up with a start like this? My dear fellow I can't sleep a wink, have compassion on me and let us have a little talk.   I uttered these words in a kind of transport. Forgive me for mercy's sake and be sure that I will not trouble you again. It is possible that I should not have strangled him, but I was very much tempted to do so. A prisoner who is happy enough to sleep soundly all the while he sleeps is no longer a captive and feels no more the weight of his chains.  Furthermore the sleeping prisoner often dreams that he is free again, and like manner as the wretch dying of hunger sees himself in dreams seated at a sumptuous feast. I congratulated myself on not having commenced my great work before he came, especially as he required that the room should be swept out. The first time he asked for it to be done the guards made me laugh by saying that it would kill me. However he insisted and I had my revenge by pretending to be ill, but from interested motives I made no further opposition. On the Wednesday in Holy Week Lawrence told us that the Secretary would make us the customary visit in the afternoon, the object being to give peace to them that would receive the sacrament at Easter, and also to know if they had anything to say against the jailer. So gentlemen said Lawrence, if you have any complaints to make of me, make them. Dress yourselves fully as is customary. I told Lawrence to get me a confessor for the day. I put myself into full dress and the Jew followed my example, taking leave of me in advance so sure was he that the Secretary would set him free on hearing what he had to say. My presentiment said he is of the same kind as I have had before, and I have never been deceived. I congratulate you, but don't reckon without your host. He did not understand what I meant. In the course of time the Secretary came, and as soon as the cell door was opened the Jew ran out and threw himself at his feet on both knees. I heard for five minutes nothing but his tears and complaints, for the Secretary said not one word. He came back and Lawrence told me to go out. With a beard of eight months' growth and a dress made for love-making in August I must have presented a somewhat curious appearance. Much to my disgust I shivered with cold and was afraid that the Secretary would think I was trembling with fear. As I was obliged to bend low to come out of my hole my bow was ready-made and drawing myself up I looked at him calmly without affecting any unseasonable hardyhood and waited for him to speak. The Secretary also kept silent so that we stood facing each other like a pair of statues. At the end of two minutes the Secretary, seeing that I said nothing, gave me a slight bow and went away. I re-entered my cell and, taking off my clothes and haste, got into bed to get warm again. The Jew was astounded at my not having spoken to the Secretary, although my silence had cried more loudly than his cowardly complaints.  On Monday, Thursday, a Jesuit came to confess me, and on Holy Saturday a priest of St. Mark's came to administer to me the Holy Communion. My confession, appearing rather too laconic to the sweet son of Ignatius, he thought good to remonstrate with me before giving me his absolution. Do you pray to God, he said, from the morning unto the evening, and from the evening unto the morning, for, placed as I am, all that I feel, my anxiety, my grief, all the wanderings of my mind, can be but a prayer in the eyes of the divine wisdom which alone sees my heart. The Jesuit smiled slightly and replied by a discourse rather metaphysical than moral, which did not at all tally with my views. I should have confuted him on every point if he had not astonished me by a prophecy he made. Since it is from us, said he, that you learnt what you know of religion, practice it in our fashion, pray like us, and know that you will only come out of this place on the day of the saint whose name you bear. So, saying, he gave me absolution and left me. This man left the strongest possible impression on my mind. I did my best, but I could not rid myself of it. I proceeded to pass and review all the saints in the calendar. The Jesuit was the director of M. Flaminio Cornair, an old senator, and then a state inquisitor. This statesman was a famous man of letters, a great politician, highly religious, an author of several pious, anaesthetic works written in Latin. His reputation was spotless. On being informed that I should be set free on the feast day of my patron saint and thinking that my informant ought to know for certain what he told me, I felt glad to have a patron saint. But which is it, I asked myself. It cannot be St. James of Compostela, whose name I bear, for it was on the feast day of that saint that M. Grand burst opened my door. I took the almanac and looking for the saint's days nearest at hand, I found St. George, a saint of some note, but of whom I had never thought. I then devoted myself to St. Mark, whose feast fell on the twenty-fifth of the month, and whose protection as a Venetian I might justly claim. To him then I addressed my vows, but all in vain, for his feast came round and still I was imprisoned. Then I took myself to St. James, the brother of Christ, who comes before St. Philip, but again in the wrong. I tried St. Anthony, who, if the tale told it Padua be true, worked thirteen miracles a day. He worked none for me. Thus I passed from one to the other, and by degrees I got to hope in the protection of the saints, just as one hopes for anything one desires, but does not expect to come to pass. And I finished up by hoping only in my St. Bar and in the strength of my arms. Nevertheless the promise of the Jesuit came to pass, since I escaped from the Leeds on all Hallows' Day, and it is certain that if I had a patron saint he must be looked for in their number, since they are all honoured on that day. A fortnight after Easter I was delivered from my troublesome Israelite, and the poor devil, instead of being sent back to his home, had to spend two years in the force, and on his gaining his freedom he went and set up in Trieste, where he ended his days. No sooner was I again alone that I set zealously about my work. I had to make haste for fear of some new visitor who, like the Jew, might insist on the cell being swept. I began by drawing back my bed, and after lighting my lamp I lay down on my belly, my pike in my hand, with a napkin close by in which to gather the fragments of board as I scooped them out. My task was to destroy the board by dint of driving into it the point of my tool. At first the pieces I got away were not much larger than grains of wheat, but they soon increased in size. The board was made of deal, and was sixteen inches broad. I began to pierce it at its juncture with another board, and as there were no nails or clamps my work was simple. After six hours toil I tied up the napkin, and put it on one side to empty it the following day behind the piles of paper in the garret. The fragments were four or five times larger in bulk than the whole from whence they came. I put back my bed in its place, and on emptying the napkin the next morning I took care so to dispose the fragments that they should not be seen. Having broken through the first board, which I found to be two inches thick, I was stopped by a second which I judged to be as thick as the first. Tormented by the fear of new visitors I redoubled my efforts, and in three weeks I had pierced the three boards of which the floor was composed, and then I thought that all was lost, for I found I had to pierce a bed of small pieces of marble known at Venice as Terazzo Marmorin. This forms the usual floor of Venetian houses of all kinds except the cottages, for even the high nobility preferred the Terazzo to the finest boarded floor. I was thunderstruck to find that my bar made no impression on this composition, but nevertheless I was not altogether discouraged and cast down. I remembered Hannibal, who, according to Livy, opened up a passage through the Alps by breaking the rocks with axes and other instruments, having previously softened them with vinegar. I thought that Hannibal had succeeded not by Aseto, but Aseta, which in the Latin of Padua might well be the same as Asha, and who can guarantee the text to be free from the blunders of the copyist. All the same I poured into the hole a bottle of strong vinegar I had by me, and in the morning, either because of the vinegar or because I refreshed and rested, put more strength and patience into the work, I saw that I should overcome this new difficulty. For I had not to break the pieces of marble, but only to pulverize with the end of my bar the cement which kept them together. I soon perceived that the greatest difficulty was on the surface, and in four days the whole mosaic was destroyed without the point of my pike being at all damaged. Below the pavement I found another plank, but I had expected as much. I concluded that this would be the last, that is, the first to be put down when the rooms below were being sealed. I pierced it with some difficulty as, the hole being ten inches deep, it had become troublesome to work the pike. A thousand times I commended myself to the mercy of God. Those free thinkers who say that praying is no good do not know what they are talking about, for I know by experience that, having prayed to God, I always felt myself grow stronger, which fact amply proves the usefulness of prayer, whether the renewal of strength comes straight from God, or whether it comes only from the trust one has in him. On the twenty-fifth of June, on which day the Republic celebrates the wonderful appearance of St. Mark under the form of a winged line in the Ducal Church, about three o'clock in the afternoon, as I was laboring on my belly at the hole, stark naked, covered with sweat, my lamp beside me, I heard with mortal fear the shriek of a bolt and the noise of the door of the first passage. It was a fearful moment, I blew out my lamp, and leaving my bar in the hole, I threw into it the napkin with the shavings it contained, and as swift as lightning I replaced my bed as best I could, and threw myself on it, just as the door of my cell opened. If Florence had come in two seconds sooner, he would have caught me.  Get up and thank God for giving you such good company. Come in, my lord, come in, said he to the poor wretch who followed him. Then, without heeding my nakedness, the fellow made the noble gentleman enter, and he, seeing me to be naked, sought to avoid me while I vainly tried to find my shirt.  Where have I been put? What heat! What a stench! With whom am I? Florence made him go out and asked me to put on my shirt to go into the garret for a moment. Addressing himself to the new prisoner, he said that, having to get a bed and other necessaries, he would leave us in the garret till he came back, and that in the meantime the cell would be freed from the bad smell which was only oil. What a start it gave me as I heard him utter the word oil. In my hurry I had forgotten to snuff the wick after blowing it out. As Florence asked me no questions about it, I concluded that he knew all, and the accursed Jew must have betrayed me. I thought myself lucky that he was not able to tell him any more. From that time the repulsion which I had felt for Florence disappeared. After putting on my shirt and dressing gown, I went out and found my new companion engaged in writing a list of what he wanted the jailer to get him. As soon as he saw me he exclaimed, Ah, it's Casanova! I too recognized him as the Abe and Count Venarolo, a man of fifty, amiable, rich, and a favorite in society. He embraced me and when I told him that I should have expected to see anybody in that place rather than him, he could not keep back his tears, which made me weep also. When we were alone I told him that as soon as his bed came I should offer him the recess, begging him at the same time not to accept it. I asked him also not to ask to have the cell swept, saying that I would tell him the reason another time. He promised to keep all secrecy in the matter and said he thought himself fortunate to be placed with me. He said that as no one knew why I was imprisoned everyone was guessing at it. Some said that I was the herciac of a new sect, others that Madame Memmo had persuaded the inquisitors that I had made her son's atheists, and others that Anthony Caldoumer, the state inquisitor, had me imprisoned as a disturber of the peace because I hissed Ave Chiare's plays, and had formed a design to go to Padua for the express purpose of killing him. All these accusations had a certain foundation in fact, which gave them an air of truth, but in reality they were all wholly false. I cared too little for religion to trouble myself to found a new one. The sons of Madame Memmo were full of wit and more likely to seduce than to be seduced, and Master Caldoumer would have had too much on his hands if he had imprisoned all those who hissed the Ave Chiare. And as for this Ave, once a Jesuit I had forgiven him, as the famous Father Origo, himself formerly a Jesuit, had taught me to take my revenge by praising him everywhere, which incited the malicious to vent their satire on the Ave, and thus I was avenged without any trouble to myself. In the evening they brought a good bed, fine linen, perfumes, and excellent supper and choice wines. The Ave ate nothing, but I supped for two.  This made me laugh, for as the napkin might very well have caught and set the room on fire, the idea of the confusion which would have ensued excited my hilarity. I imparted the cause of my mirth to my companion, who laughed himself and then, lighting the lamp, we spent the night in pleasant talk. The history of his imprisonment was as follows. Yesterday, at three o'clock in the afternoon, Madame Alessandria, Count Martinengo, and myself got into a gondola. We went to Padua to see the opera, intending to return to Venice afterwards. In the second act my evil genius led me to the gaming table, where I unfortunately saw Count Rosenberg, the Austrian ambassador without his mask, and about ten paces from him was Madame Ruzini, whose husband is going to Vienna to represent the Republic. I greeted them both and was just going away when the ambassador called out to me, so as to be heard by everyone. You are very fortunate in being able to pay your court to so sweet a lady. At present the personage I represent makes the fairest land in the world no better for me than a galley. Tell the lady I beseech you that the laws which now prevent me speaking to her will be without force at Venice, where I shall go next year, and then I shall declare war against her. Madame Ruzini, who saw that she was being spoken of, asked me what the Count had said, and I told her word for word. Tell him, said she, that I accept his declaration of war and that we shall see who will wage it best. I did not think I had committed a crime in reporting her reply, which was, after all, a mere compliment, after the opera we set out and got here at midnight. I was going to sleep when a messenger brought me a note ordering me to go to the busula at one o'clock, Signor Buccinello, secretary of the Council of Ten, having something to say to me. Astonished at such an order, always of bad omen, and vexed at being obliged to obey, I went at the time appointed, and my Lord Secretary, without giving me a word, ordered me to be taken here. Certainly no fault could be less criminal than that which Count Venorolo had committed, but one can break certain laws in all innocence, without being any the less punishable. I congratulated him on knowing what his crime had been, and told him that he would be set free in a week, and would not be requested to spend six months in the Bressian. I can't think, said he, that they will leave me here for a week. I determined to keep him good company, and to soften the bitterness of his imprisonment, and so well did I sympathize with his position that I forgot all about my own. The next morning, at daybreak, Lawrence brought coffee and a basket filled with all the requisites for a good dinner. The abbe was astonished, for he could not conceive how anyone could eat at such an early hour. They let us walk for an hour in the garret, and then shut us up again, and we sow no more of them throughout the day. The fleas which tormented us made the abbe ask why I did not have the cell swept out. I could not let him think that dirt and untidiness was agreeable to me, or that my skin was any harder than his own, so I told him the whole story, and showed him what I had done. He was vexed at having, as it were, forced me to make him my confidant, but he encouraged me to go on, and if possible to finish what I was about that day, as he said he would help me to descend, and then would drop the rope, not wishing to complicate his own difficulties by an escape. I showed him the model of a contrivance by means of which I could certainly get position of the sheets which were to be my rope. It was a short stick attached by one end to a long piece of thread. By this stick I intended to attach my rope to the bed, and as the thread hung down to the floor of the room below, as soon as I got there I should pull the thread and the rope would fall down. He tried it and congratulated me on my invention, as this was a necessary part of my scheme, as otherwise the rope hanging down would have immediately discovered me. My noble companion was convinced that I ought to stop my work, for I might be surprised, having to do several days' work before finishing the whole, which would cost Lawrence's life. Should the thought of gaining my liberty at the expense of a fellow creature have made me desist, I should have still persisted if my escape had meant death to the whole body of Venetian guards and even to the inquisitors themselves. Can the love of country, all holy though it be, prevail in the heart of the man whose country is oppressing him? My good humour did not prevent my companion having some bad quarters of an hour. He was in love with Madame Alessandro, who had been a singer, and was either the mistress or the wife of his friend Matinengo, and he should have deemed himself happy, but the happier a lover is, so much the more his unhappiness when he is snatched from the beloved object. He sighed, wept, and declared that he loved a woman in whom all the noble virtues were contained. I compassionated him, and took care not to comfort him by saying that love is a mere trifle, a cold piece of comfort given to lovers by fools, and moreover it is not true that love is a mere trifle. The week I had mentioned as the probable term of his imprisonment passed quickly enough, and I lost my friend, but did not waste my time by mourning for him. He was set free, and I was content. I did not beg him to be discreet, for the least doubt on that score would have wounded his noble spirit. During the week he was with me he only ate soup and fruit, taking a little canary wine. It was I who made good cheer in his stead, and greatly to his delight. Before he left we swore eternal friendship. The next day Lawrence gave me an account of my money, and on finding that I had a balance of four sequins I gave them to him, telling him it was a present from me to his wife. I did not tell him that it was for the rent of my lamp, but he was free to think so if he chose. Again be taking myself to my work, and toiling without cessation. On the twenty-third of August I saw it finished. This delay was caused by an inevitable accident. As I was hollowing out the last plank I put my eye to a little hole, through which I ought to have seen the hall of the inquisitors. In fact I did see it, but I saw also at one side of the hole a surface about eight inches thick. It was, as I had feared all the time it would be, one of the beams which kept up the ceiling. I was thus compelled to enlarge my hole on the other side, for the beam would have made it so narrow that a man of my size could never have got through. I increased the hole, therefore by a fourth, working between fear and hope, for it was possible that the space between two of the beams would not be large enough.  I then carefully stopped up the two small holes to prevent anything falling down into the hall, and also lest a ray from my lamp should be perceived, for this would have discovered all and ruined me. I fixed my escape for the eve of St. Augustine's Day, because I knew that the Grand Council assembled on that feast, and there would consequently be nobody near the room through which I must pass in getting away. This would have been on the 27th of the month, but a misfortune happened to me on the 25th, which makes me still shudder when I think of it, not withstanding the years which have passed since then. Precisely at noon I heard the noise of bolts, and I thought I should die, for a violent beating of the heart made me imagine my last hour was come. I fell into my easy chair and waited. Lawrence came into the garret and put his head at the grating and said, I give you joy, sir, for the good news I am bringing you. At first not being able to think of any other news which could be good to me, I fancied I had been set at liberty, and I trembled, for I knew that the discovery of the hole I had made would have caused my pardon to be recalled. Lawrence came in and told me to follow him. Wait till I put on my clothes. It's of no consequence, as you only have to walk from this abominable cell to another, well-lighted and quite fresh, with two windows, whence you can see half Venice and you can stand upright too. I could bear no more, I felt that I was fainting. Give me the vinegar, said I, and go and tell the secretary that I thanked the court for this favor, and it treated to leave me where I am.   Come, come, the court must be obeyed, pray rise, sir. I will give you my arm, and will have your clothes and your books brought for you. Seeing that resistance was of no avail, I got up, and was much comforted at hearing him give orders for my arm-chair to be brought, for my pike was to follow me, and with it hope. I should have much liked to have been able to take the hole, the object of so much wasted trouble and hope with me. I may say with truth that, as I came forth from that horrible and doleful place, my spirit remained there. Leaning on Lawrence's shoulder while he, thinking to cheer me up, cracked his foolish jokes, I passed through two narrow passages, and going down three steps I found myself in a well-lighted hall, at the end of which, on the left side, was a door leading into another passage, two feet broad, by about twelve long, and in the corner was my new cell. It had a barred window which was opposite to two windows, also barred, which lighted the passage, and thus one had a fine view as far as Leto. At that trying moment I did not care much for the view, but later on I found that a sweet and pleasant wind came through the window when it was opened, and tempered the insufferable heat, and this was a true blessing for the poor wretch who had to breathe the sultry prisoner, especially in the hot season. As soon as I got into my new cell Lawrence had my armchair brought in and went away, saying that he would have the remainder of my effects brought to me. I sat on my armchair as motionless as a statue, waiting for the storm but not fearing it. What overwhelmed me was the distressing idea that all my pains and contrivances were of no use. Nevertheless I felt neither sorry nor repentant for what I had done, and I made myself abstain from thinking of what was going to happen, and thus kept myself calm. Lifting up my soul to God I could not help thinking that this misfortune was a divine punishment for neglecting to escape when all was ready. Nevertheless, though I could have escaped three days sooner, I thought my punishment was too severe, all the more as I had put off my escape from motives of prudence, which seemed to me worthy of reward. For if I had only consulted my own impatience to be gone I should have risked everything. To controvert the reasons which made me postpone my flight to the 27th of August a special revelation would have been requisite, and though I had read Mary of Agrada I was not mad enough for that.


He's way taller than the house itself Speaking of siren head Freak girl you better go tell your mama brush you went towards it. She's insane, right? No way he didn't see her head was sticking out of the door If in the chapter peppermint Where the heck is everybody else like do they not hear Peppa's cream?  You banging on TV. You better buy a new TV Not bought it come in that Peppa's house a knack like you pay the bills Look for her pop it pop into the new fidget spinners Girls on the stairs. Are you blind? Oh, she's dead. She's dead dead now How did she not see that big old waffle on the stairs? Heck no, but I would have ran back up those stairs Crazy Why didn't he have blood coming out and how many times are we gonna see Peppa die? All right, that is the end of siren head has moved into Peppa's house and our next clip by centipon is There is he might be a penny wise I don't know why just ding dong ditch That's pretty cool. They actually have voices this time Follow me, George. I Hear someone Your church Why didn't they just run in the house it could have both lived Like what come on Well, at least Peppa was a good sport and she sacrificed herself for her lovely little brother George Alright you guys well those are some scary Peppa Pig videos by centipon shout out to him Make sure to go check out his channel I'll put the video links in the description so you can check them out if you want and yeah Thank you out for watching take care for the base support and I'll see you guys in the next one