Chapter 27 He made her go into the parlour and sit down, and she was all unnerved by his gentle ways. The tears would come in spite of her. He took his own fine wedding handkerchief and wiped them softly off her hot cheeks. He untied the bonnet that was not hers, and flung it far into a corner in the room. Marsha thought he put force into the fling. Then he unfolded the shawl from her shoulders, and threw that into another corner. Kate's beautiful thread lace shawl. Marsha felt a hysterical desire to laugh, but David's voice was steady and quiet when he spoke as one might speak to a little child in trouble. There now, dear, he said, he had never called her dear before. There, that was an ordeal, and I'm glad it's over. It will never trouble us that way again. Let us put it aside and never think about it any more. We have our own lives to live. I want you to go with me tomorrow morning to see the train start if you feel able. We must start early, and you must take a good rest. Would you like to go? Marsha's face, like a radiant rainbow, answered for her as she smiled behind her tears, and all the while he talked, David's hand, as tender as a woman's, was passing back and forth on Marsha's hot forehead and smoothing the hair. He talked on quietly to soothe her and give her a chance to regain her composure, speaking of a few necessary arrangements for the morning's ride. Then he said, still in his quiet voice, now, dear, I want you to go to bed, for we must start rather early. But first, do you think you could sing me that little song you were singing the day I came home? Don't, if you feel too tired, you know. Then Marsha, an eager light in her eyes, sprang up and went to the piano, and began to play softly and sing the tender words she had sung once before when he was listening, and she knew it not. Dearest, believe, when ere we part, lonely I grieve in my sad heart. Kate, standing within the chins' curtains across the yard, shedding angry tears upon her purple silk, heard presently the sweet tones of the piano, which might have been hers, heard her sister's voice singing, and began to understand that she must bear the punishment of her own rash deeds. The room had grown from a purple dusk into quiet darkness, while Marsha was singing, for the sun was almost down when they walked home. When the song was finished, David stood half-wistfully looking at Marsha for a moment, her eyes shown to his through the dusk like two bright stars. He hesitated, as though he wanted to say something more, and then thought better of it. At last he stooped and lifted her hand from the keys, and led her toward the door. You must go to sleep at once, he said gently, you'll need all the rest you can get. He lighted a candle for her and said good night with his eyes as well as his lips. Marsha felt that she was going up the stairs under a spell of some gentle loving power that surrounded her and would always guard her. It was about this time that Miranda, having been sent over to take a forgotten piece of brides' cake to Marsha, and having heard the piano and stolen discreetly to the parlor window for a moment, returned and detailed for the delectation of that most unhappy guest, Mrs. Leavenworth, why she could not get in and would have to take it over in the morning. The window was open in the parlor, and they were in there, them too, but they were so plumb took up with their two selves, as they always are, that there wasn't no use knocking, for they'd never have heard. Miranda enjoyed making those remarks to the guest. Some keen instinct always told her where best to strike her blows. When Marsha had reached the top stair, she looked down, and there was David smiling up to her. Marsha, he said in a tone that seemed half ashamed and half amused, have you any, that is, things that you had before, all your own, I mean? With quick intuition Marsha understood, and her own sweet shame about her clothes that were not her own came back upon her with double force. She suddenly saw herself again standing before the censure of her sister. She wondered if David had heard. If not, how then did he know? Oh, the shame of it! She sat down weakly upon the stair. Yes, said she, trying to think, some old things and one frock. Where it then, tomorrow, dear, said David in a compelling voice, and with the sweet smile that took the hurt out of his most severe words. Marsha smiled. It's very plain, she said, only chins, pink and white, I made it myself. Charming, said David, wear it, dear, Marsha, one thing more, don't wear any more things that don't belong to you, not a dud. Promise me, can you get along without it? Why, I guess so, said Marsha, laughing joyfully. I'll try to manage, but I haven't any bonnet, nothing but a pink sun bonnet. All right, wear that, said David. It will look a little queer, won't it? said Marsha doubtfully, and yet as if the idea expressed a certain freedom which was grateful to her. Never mind, said David, wear it, don't wear any more of those other things, pack them all up and send them where they belong, just as quick as we get home. There was something masterful and delightful in David's voice, and Marsha, with a happy laugh, took her candle and got up, saying, with a ring of joy in her voice, all right. She went to her room with David's second good night ringing in her ears, and her heart so light, she wanted to sing. Not at once did Marsha go to her bed. She set her candle upon the bureau, and began to search wildly in a little old haircloth trunk, her own special old trunk that had contained her treasures, in which had been sent her after she left home. She had scarcely looked into it since she came to the new home. It seemed as if her girlhood were shut up in it. Now she pulled it out from the closet. What a flood of memories rushed over her as she opened it. There were relics of her school days and of her little childhood, but she had no time for them now. She was in search of something. She touched them tenderly, but laid them all out one after another upon the floor, until down in the lower corner she found a roll of soft white cloth. It contained a number of white garments, half a dozen perhaps in all, finished, and several others cut out, barely begun. They were her own work, every stitch. The first begun when she was quite a little girl, and her stepmother started to teach her to sew. What pride she had taken in them, how pleased she had been when allowed to put real tucks in some of them. She had thought as she sewed upon them at different times, that they were to be a part of her own wedding true sew. And then her wedding had come upon her unawares, with the true sew ready made, and everything belonged to someone else. She had folded her own poor little garments away, and thought never to take them out again, for they seemed to belong to her dead self. But now that dead self had suddenly come to life again. These hated things that she had worn for a year that were not hers were to be put away, and pretty as they were many of them, she regretted not a thread of them. She laid the white garments out upon a chair, and decided that she would put on what she needed of them on the morrow, even though they were rumpled with a long lying away. She even searched out an old pair of her own stockings, and laid them on a chair with the other things. They were neatly darned, as all things had always been under her stepmother's supervision. Further search brought a pair of partly worn prunella slippers to light with narrow ankle ribbons. Then Marcia took down the pink sprigged chins that she had made a year ago, and laid it near the other things, with a bit of black velvet and the quaint old brooch. She felt a little dubious about appearing on such a great occasion, almost in Albany, in a chin's dress and with no wrap. Stay! There was the white crepe shawl all her own that David had brought her. She had not felt like wearing it to Hannah Heath's wedding. It seemed too precious to take near an unloving person like Hannah. Before that she had never felt an occasion great enough. Now she drew it forth breathlessly.  Marcia laughed softly. But then what matter David had said to wear it? All things were ready for the morrow now. There were even her white lace mitts that Aunt Polly in an unusual fit of benevolence had given her. Then, as if to make the change complete, she searched out an old night robe, plain but smooth and clean, and arrayed herself in it. And so, thankful, happy, she laid down as she had been bitten and fell asleep. David in the room below pondered, strange to say, the subject of dress. There was some pride beneath it all, of course. There always is behind the great problem of dress. It was the rejected bonnet lying in the corner with its blue ribbons limp and its blue flowers crushed that made that subject paramount among so many others he might have chosen for his night's meditation. He was going over to close the parlor window when he saw the thing lying innocent and discarded in the corner. Though it bore an injured look, it yet held enough of its original aristocratic style to cause him to stop and think. It was all well enough to suggest that Marcia wear a pink sun bonnet. It sounded deliciously picturesque. She looked lovely and pink, and a sun bonnet was pretty and sensible on any one. But the marrow was a great day. David would be seen of many, and his wife would come under strict scrutiny. Moreover, it was possible that Kate might be upon the scene to jeer at her sister in a sun bonnet. In fact, when he considered it, he would not like to take his wife to Albany in a sun bonnet. It behoved him to consider.  Revelation of the true character of the woman he had once longed to call his own. But that bonnet, he stood and examined it. What was a bonnet like? The proper kind of a bonnet for a woman in his wife's position to wear. He had never noticed a woman's bonnet before, except as he had absentmindedly observed them in front of him in meeting. Now he brought his mind to bear upon that bonnet. It seemed to be made up of three component parts. A foundation, a girdle, apparently to bind together and tie on the head, and a decoration. Straws, silk, and some kind of unreal flowers. Was that all? He stooped down and picked the thing up with the tips of his fingers, held it at arm's length as though it were contaminating, and examined the inside. Ah, there was another element in its construction. A sort of frill of something thin, hardly lace, more like the foam of a cloud. He touched the tool clumsily with his thumb and finger, and then he dropped the bonnet back into the corner again. He thought he understood well enough to know one again. He stood pondering a moment and looked at his watch. Yes, it was still early enough to try at least, though of course the shop would be closed, but the village milliner lived behind her little store. It would be easy enough to rouse her, and he had known her all his life. He took his hat as eagerly as he had done when as a boy Aunt Clarinda had given him a penny to buy a top and permission to go to the store and buy it before Aunt Amelia woke up from her nap. He went rapidly out of the door, fastening it behind him, and walked rapidly down the street. Yes, the milliner's shop was closed, but a light in the side windows shining through the veiling hop vines guided him, and he was presently tapping at Miss Mitchell's side door. She opened the door cautiously, and peeped over her glasses at him, and then a bright smile overspread her face. Who in the whole village did not welcome David whenever he chanced to come? Miss Mitchell was resting from her labors and reading the village paper. She had finished the column of gossip and was quite ready for a visitor. Come right in, David, she said heartily, for she had known him all the years. It does a body good to see you, though your visits are as few and far between as Angel's visits. I'm right glad to see you. Sit down. But David was too eager about his business. I haven't any time to sit down tonight, Miss Susan. He said eagerly, I've come to buy a bonnet. Have you got one? I hope it isn't too late, because I want it very early in the morning. A bonnet? Bless me, for yourself, said Miss Mitchell from mere force of commercial habit. But neither of them saw the joke, so intent upon business were they. For my wife, Miss Mitchell, you see she is going with me over to Albany tomorrow morning, and we start quite early. We are going to see the new railroad train start, you know, and she seems to think she hasn't a bonnet that suitable. Going to see a steam engine start, are you? Well, take care, David, you don't get too near. They do say they're terrible dangerous things, and for my part, I can't see what good they'll be, for nobody'll ever be willing to ride behind them. But I'd like to see it start well enough.  Land sakes, what is the matter with her done-stable straw, and what's become of that one trimmed with blue loot strings, and where's the sheared silk one she wore last Sunday? There every one find bonnets, and ought to last her a good many years yet if she cares for them. The mice haven't got into the house and at them, have they? No, Miss Susan, those bonnets are all whole yet, I believe, but they don't seem to be just the suitable thing. In fact, I don't think they're overbecoming to her, do you? You see they're mostly blue. That's so, said Miss Mitchell, I think myself she'd look better in pink. How'd you like white? I've got a pretty thing that I made for Hannah Heath, and when it was done, Hannah thought it was too plain and wouldn't have it. I sent for the flowers to New York, and they cost a high price. Wait, I'll show it to you. She took a candle, and he followed her to the dark front room, ghostly with bonnets in various stages of perfection. It was a pretty thing. Its foundation was a fine Milan braid, creamy white and smooth and even. He knew at a glance it belonged to the higher order of things, and was superior to most of the bonnets produced in the village. It was trimmed with plain white taffeta ribbon, soft and silky. That was all on the outside. Around the face was a soft rushing of tulle, and clambering along it a vine of delicate green leaves that looked as if they were just plucked from a wild Rose Bank. David was delighted. Somehow the bonnet looked like Marsha. He paid the price at once, declining to look at anything else. It was enough that he liked it, and that Hannah Heath had not. He had never admired Hannah's taste. He carried it home in triumph, letting himself softly into the house, lighted three candles, took the bonnet out, and hung it upon a chair. Then he walked around it, surveying it critically, first from this side, then from that. It pleased him exceedingly. He half-wished Marsha would hear him and come down. He wanted to see it on her, but concluded that he was growing boyish, and had better get himself under control. The bonnet approved. He walked back and forth through the kitchen and dining-room, thinking. He compelled himself to go over the events of the afternoon and analyze most carefully his own innermost feelings. In fact, after doing that, he began further back and tried to find out how he felt toward Marsha. What was this something that had been growing in him unaware through the months that had made his homecoming so sweet and had brightened every succeeding day, and had made this meeting with Kate a mere common place? What was this precious thing that nestled in his heart? Might he had he a right to call it love? Surely. Now all at once his pulses thrilled with gladness. He loved her. It was good to love her. She was the most precious being on earth to him. What was Kate in comparison to her? Kate who had shown herself cold and cruel and unloving in every way.  She a married woman. A woman who had of her own free will left him at the last moment and gone away with another. His whole nature recoiled against her. She had sinned against her womanhood and might no longer demand from man the homage that a true woman had a right to claim.  His heart went out to Marsha. He could not bear to think of her having to stand and listen to that heartless tirade. And he had been the cause of all this. He had allowed her to take a position which threw her open to Kate's vile taunts. Up and down he paced till the torrent of his anger spent itself and he was able to think more calmly. Then he went back in his thoughts to the time when he had first met Kate and she had bewitched him. He could see now the heartlessness of her. He had met her first at the house of a friend where he was visiting partly on pleasure partly on business. She had devoted herself to him during the time of her stay in a most charming way. Though now he recalled that she had also been equally devoted to the son of the house whom he was visiting. When she went home she had asked him to come and call for her home was but seven miles away. He had been so charmed with her that he had accepted the invitation and rashly he saw now had engaged himself to her after having known her in all face to face but a few days. To be sure he had known of her father for years and he took a great deal for granted on account of her fine family. They had corresponded after their engagement which had lasted for nearly a year and in that time David had seen her but twice for a day or two at a time and each time he had thought her grown more lovely. Her letters had been marvels of modesty and shy admiration. It was easy for Kate to maintain her character upon paper though she had had little trouble in making people love her under any circumstances. Now as he looked back he could recall many instances when she had shown a cruel heartless nature. Then all at once with a throb of joy it came to him to be thankful to God for the experience through which he had passed. After all it had not been taken from him to love with a love enduring for though Kate had been snatched from him just at the moment of his possession Marsha had been given him. Fool that he was he had been blind to his own salvation. Suppose he had been allowed to go on and marry Kate. Suppose he had had her character revealed to him suddenly as those letters of hers to Harry Temple had revealed it as it surely would have been revealed in time for such things cannot be hid and she had been his wife. He shuttered how he would have loathed her how he loathed her now. Strangely enough the realization of that fact gave him joy. He sprang up and waved his hands about in silent delight. He felt as if he must shout for gladness. Then he gravely knelt beside his chair and uttered an audible thanksgiving for the escape and the joy he had been given. Nothing else seemed fitting expression of his feelings. There was one other question to consider Marsha's feelings. She had always been kind and gentle and loving to him just as a sister might have been. She was exceedingly young yet. Did she know could she understand what it meant to be loved the way he was sure he could love a woman? And would she ever be able to love him in that way? She was so silent and shy he hardly knew whether she cared for him or not. But there was one thought that gave him unbounded joy and that was that she was his wife. At least no one else could take her from him. He had felt condemned that he had married her when his heart was heavy lest she would lose the joy of life. But all that was changed now. Unless she loved someone else surely such love as his could compel hers and finally make her as happy as a woman could be made. A twinge of misgiving crossed his mind as he admitted the possibility that Marsha might love someone else. True he knew of no one and she was so young it was scarcely likely she had left anyone back in her girlhood to whom her heart had turned when she was out of his sight. Still there were instances of strong union of hearts of those who had loved from early childhood. It might be that Marsha's sometimes sadness was over a companion of her girlhood. A great longing took possession of him to rush up and waken her and find out if she could ever care for him. He scarcely knew himself. This was not his dignified contained self that he had lived with for twenty seven years. It was very late before he finally went upstairs. He walked softly lest he disturb Marsha. He paused before her door listening to see if she was asleep. But there was only the sound of the katydids in the branches outside her window and the distant tree toads singing a fugue in an orchard not far away. He tiptoed to his room but he did not light his candle. Therefore there was no light in the back room of the Spafford house that night for any watching eyes to ponder over. He threw himself upon the bed. He was weary in body yet his soul seemed buoyant as a bird in the morning air. The moon was casting long bars of silver across the rag carpet and white counter pain. It was almost full moon. Yes tomorrow it would be entirely full. It was full moon the night he had met Marsha down by the gate and kissed her. It was the first time he had thought of that kiss with anything but pain. It used to hurt him that he had made the mistake and taken her for Kate. It had seemed like an ill omen of what was to come. But now it thrilled him with a great new joy. After all he had given the kiss to the right one. It was Marsha to whom his soul bowed in the homage that a man may give to a woman. Did his good angel guide him to her that night? And how was it that he had not seen the sweetness of Marsha sooner? How had he lived with her nearly a year and watched her dainty ways and loving ministry and not known that his heart was hers? How was it that he had grieved so long over Kate and now since he had seen her once more not a regret was in his heart that she was not his. But a beautiful revelation of his own love to Marsha had been wrought in him. How came it? And the importunate little songsters in the night answered him a thousand times. Kate did it. Kate she did it. Yes she did. I say she did. Kate did it. Had angel voices reached him through his dreams and suddenly given him the revelation which the little insects had voiced in their ridiculous colloquy. It was Kate herself who had shown him how much he loved Marsha. End of Chapter 27 Chapter 28 of Marsha Schuyler by Grace Livingston Hill This slibber box recording is in the public domain. Chapter 28 Slowly the moon rode over the house and down toward its way in the west and after its vanishing chariot the night stretched its wistful arms. Softly the gray in the east tinged into violet and glowed into rose and gold. The birds woke up and told one another that the first of August was come and life was good. The breath that came in the early dawn savored of new moon hay and the birdsongs thrilled Marsha as if it were the day of her dreams. She forgot all her troubles, forgot even her wayward sister next door, and rose with the song of the birds in her heart. This was to be a great day. No matter what happened she had now this day to date from. David had asked her to go somewhere just because he wanted her to. She knew it from the look in his eyes when he told her and she knew it because he might have asked a dozen men to go with him. There was no reason why he need have taken her today, for it was distinctly an affair for men this great wonder of machinery. It was a privilege for a woman to go. She felt it. She understood the honour. With fingers trembling from joy she dressed, not the sight of her pink calico sunbon at lying on the chair, nor the thought of wearing it upon so grand an occasion could spoil the pleasure of the day. Among so large a company her bonnet would hardly be noticed. If David was satisfied what difference did it make? She was glad it would be early when they drove by the ants, else they might be scandalised. But never mind, trill, she hummed a merry little tune which melted into the melody of the song she had sung last night. Then she smiled at herself in the glass. She was fastening the brooch in the bit of velvet round her neck and she thought of the day a year ago when she had fastened that brooch. She had wondered then how she would feel if the next day was to be her own wedding day. Now as she smiled back at herself in the glass, all at once she thought it seemed as if this was her wedding day. Somehow last night had seemed to realise her dreams. A wonderful joy had descended upon her heart. Maybe she was foolish, but was she not going to ride with David? She did not long for the green fields and a chance to run wild through the wood now. This was better than those childish pleasures. This was real happiness, and to think it should have come through David. She hurried with the arrangement of her hair until her fingers trembled with excitement. She wanted to get downstairs and see if it were all really true or if she were dreaming it. Would David look at her as he had done last night? Would he speak that precious word dear to her again today? Would he take her by the hand and lead her sometimes? Or was that special gentleness because he knew she had suffered from her sister's words? She clasped her hands with a quick convulsive gesture over her heart, and looking back to the sweet face in the glass said softly, Oh, I love him, love him, and it cannot be wrong for Kate is married. But though she was up early, David had been down before her. The fire was ready lighted, and the kettle singing over it on the crane. He had even pulled out the table and put up the leaf and made some attempt to put the dishes upon it for breakfast. He was sitting by the hearth impatient for her coming with a band box by his side. It was like another sunrise to watch their eyes light up as they saw one another. Their glances rushed together as though they had been a long time withholding from each other, and a rosy glow came over Marcia's face that made her long to hide it for a moment from view. Then she knew in her heart that her dream was not all a dream. David was the same. It had lasted whatever this wonderful thing was that bound them together. She stood still in her happy bewilderment, looking at him, and he, enjoying the radiant morning vision of her, stood too. David found that longing to take her in his arms, overcoming him again. He had made strict account with himself, and was resolved to be careful and not frighten her. He must be sure it would not be unpleasant to her before he let her know his great deep love. He must be careful. He must not take advantage of the fact that she was his and could not run away from him. If she dreaded his attentions, neither could she any more say no. And so their two looks met and longed to come closer but were held back, and a lovely shyness crept over Marcia's sweet face. Then David bethought himself of his band box. He took up the box and untied it with unaccustomed fingers, fumbling among the tissue paper for the handle end of the thing. Where did they take hold of Bonnet's anyway? He had no trouble with it the night before, but then he was not thinking about it. Now he was half-afraid she might not like it. He remembered that Hannah Heath had pronounced against it. It suddenly seemed impossible that he should have bought a Bonnet that a pretty woman had said was not right. There must be something wrong with it after all. Marcia stood wondering. I thought maybe this would do instead of the sun Bonnet. He said at last, getting out the Bonnet by one string, and holding it dangling before him. Marcia caught it with deft careful hands and an exclamation of delight. He watched her anxiously. It had all the requisite number of materials, one, two, three, four, like the despised Bonnet he threw on the floor. Straw, silk, lace, and flowers. Would she like it? Her face showed that she did. Her cheeks flushed with pleasure, and her eyes danced with joy. Marcia's face always showed it when she liked anything. There was nothing half-way about her. Oh, it is beautiful, she said delightedly.  Oh, I am glad, glad, glad. I shall never wear that old blue Bonnet again. She went over to the glass and put it on. The soft rushing settled about her brown hair and made a lovely setting for her face. The green vine twined and peeped in and out under the round brim, and the ribbon sat in a prim bow beneath her pretty chin. She gave one comprehensive glance at herself in the glass and then turned to David. In that glance was revealed to her just how much she had dreaded wearing her pink sun Bonnet, and just how relieved she was to have a substitute. Her look was shy and sweet as she said with eyes that dared and then drooped timidly. You are very good to me. Almost he forgot his vow of carefulness at that, but remembered when he had got half across the room toward her and answered earnestly. Dear, you have been very good to me. Mercia's eyes suddenly sobered and half the glow faded from her face. Was it then only gratitude? She took off the Bonnet and touched the bows with wistful tenderness as she laid it by till after breakfast. He watched her and misinterpreted the look. Was she then disappointed in the Bonnet? Was it not right after all? Had Hannah known better than he? He hesitated and then asked her, is there, is it, that is, perhaps you would rather take it back and and choose another. You know how to choose one better than I. There were others, I think. In fact, I forgot to look at any but this because I liked it, but I'm only a man. He finished helplessly. No, no, no, said Mercia, her eyes sparkling emphatically again. There couldn't be a better one. This is just exactly what I like. I do not want anything else. And I like it all the better because you selected it. She said daringly, suddenly lifting her face to his with a spice of her own childish freedom. His eyes admired her. She told me Hannah Heath thought it too plain, he added honestly. Then I'm sure I like it all the better for that, said Mercia so emphatically that they both laughed. It all at once became necessary to hurry for the old clock in the hall clanged out the hour and David became aware that haste was imperative. Early as Mercia had come down, David had been up long before her, his heart too light to sleep. In a dream or perchance on the borders of the morning, an idea had come to him. He told Mercia that he must go out now to see about the horse, but he also made a hurried visit to the home of his office clerk and another to the ants. And when he returned with the horse, he had left things in such a train that if he did not return that evening he would not be greatly missed. But he said nothing to Mercia about it. He laughed to himself as he thought of the sleepy look on his clerk's face, and the offended dignity expressed in the ruffle of Aunt Hortense's nightcap all awry as she had peered over the balusters to receive his unprecedentedly early visit. The ants were early risers, they prided themselves upon it. It hurt their dignity and their pride to have anything short of sudden serious illness or death or a fire cause others to arise before them. Therefore they did not receive the message that David was meditating another trip away from the village for a few days with good grace. Aunt Hortense asked Aunt Amelia if she had ever feared that Mercia would have a bad effect upon David by making him frivolous. Perhaps he would lose interest in his business with all his careering around the country. Aunt Amelia agreed that Mercia must be to blame in some way, and then discovering they had a whole hour before their usual rising time, the two good ladies settled themselves with indignant composure to their interrupted repose. Breakfast was ready when David returned. Mercia supposed he had only been to harness the horse. She glanced out happily through the window to where the horse stood tied to the post in front of the house.  Mercia could scarcely have eaten anything in her excitement if David had not urged her to do so. She hurried with her clearing away and then flew upstairs to arrange her bonnet before the glass and donned the lovely folds of the creamy crepe shawl, folding it demurely around her shoulders and knotting it in front. She put on her mitts, took her handkerchief folded primely, and came down ready. But David no longer seemed in such haste. He made a great fuss fastening up everything. She wondered at his unusual care, for she thought everything quite safe for the day. She raised one shade toward the Heath House. It was the first time she had permitted herself this morning to think of Kate. Was she there yet? Probably, for no coach had left since last night, and unless she had gone by private conveyance there would have been no way to go. She looked up to the front corner-gassed room where the windows were open and the white muslin curtains swayed in the morning breeze. No one seemed to be moving about in the room. Perhaps Kate was not awake. Just then she caught the flutter of a blue muslin down on the front stoop. Kate was up early as it was, and was coming out.  Many a time had that happened. Now she felt in some mysterious way Kate would contrive to take from her her newfound joy. She could not resist her. David could not resist her. No one could ever resist Kate.  Just then came David's clear voice, louder than would have been necessary, and pitched as if he were calling to someone upstairs, though he knew she was just inside the parlour where she had gone to make sure of the window fastening. Come, dear, aren't you ready? It is more than time we started. There was a glad ring in David's voice that somehow belied the somewhat exacting words he had spoken, and Marcia's heart leaped up to meet him. Yes, I'm all ready, dear! she called back with a hysterical little laugh. Of course, Kate could not hear so far, but it gave her satisfaction to say it. The final word was unpremeditated. It bubbled up out of the depths of her heart, and made the red rush back into her cheeks when she realized what she had said. It was the first time she had ever used a term of endearment toward David. She wondered if he noticed it, and if he would think her very bold, queer, immodest to use it. She looked shyly up at him, inquiring with her eyes, as she came out to him on the front stoop, and he looked down with such a smile, she felt as if it were a caress. And yet neither was quite conscious of this little real by-play they were enacting for the benefit of the audience of one in blue muslin over the way. How much she heard, or how little they could not tell, but it gave satisfaction to go through with it in as much as it was real, and not acting at all. David fastened the door and then helped Marcia into the carriage. They were both laughing happily like two children starting upon a picnic. Marcia was serenely conscious of her new bonnet, and it was pleasant to have David tuck the linen laprobe over her chin's frock so carefully. She was certain Kate could not identify it now at that distance, thanks to the laprobe and her crepe shawl. At least Kate could not see any of her own true so on her sister now. Kate was sitting on the little white seat in the shelter of the honeysuckle vine, facing them on the stoop of the heath house. It was impossible for them to know whether she was watching them or not. They did not look up to see. She was talking with Mr. Heath, who, in his milking garb, was putting to rights some shrubs and plants near the walk that had been trampled upon during the wedding festivities. But Kate must have seen a good deal that went on. David took up the reins, settled himself with a smile at Marcia, touched the horse with the tip of the whip, which caused him to spring forward in astonishment, that from David. No horse in town would have expected it of him. They had known him from babyhood most of them, and he was gentleness itself. It must have been a mistake. But the impression lasted long enough to carry them a rod or two past the heath house at a swift pace, with only time for a lifting of David's hat prolonged politely, which might or might not have included Kate, and they were out upon their way to gather. Marcia could scarcely believe her senses that she was really here beside David, riding with him swiftly through the village and leaving Kate behind. She felt a passing pity for Kate. Then she looked shyly up at David. Would his gait he pass when they were away, and would he grow grave and sad again, so soon as he was out of Kate's sight? She had learned enough of David's principles to know that he would not think it right to let his thoughts stray to Kate now, but did his heart still turn that way in spite of him? Through the town they sped, glad with every roll of the wheels that took them further away from Kate. Each was conscious as they rolled along of that day one year ago when they rode together thus out through the fields into the country. It was a day much as that other one, just as bright, just as warm, and yet oh so much more radiant to both. Then they were sad and fearful for the future, all their life seemed in the past. Now the darkness had been led through, and they had reached the brightness again. In fact, all the future stretched out before them that fair morning, and looked bright as the day. They were conscious of the blueness of the sky, of the soft clouds that hovered in haziness on the rim of the horizon, as holding off far enough to spoil no moment of that perfect day. They were conscious of the waving grains and of the perfume of the buckwheat drifting like snow in the fields beyond the wheat, conscious of the meadowlark and the wood-robin snow, of the whir of a locust and the thud of a frog in the cool green of a pool deep with brown shadows, conscious of a circling of mated butterflies in the simmering gold air, of the wild roses lifting fair-pink petals from the brambly banks beside the road, conscious of the whispering pine needles in a wood they passed, the fluttering chatter of leaves and silver flash of the lining of poplar leaves, where tall trees stood like sentinels apart and sad, conscious of a little brook that tinkled under a log bridge they crossed, then hurried on its way unmindful of their happy crossing, conscious of the dusty daisy beside the road closing with the bumbling bee who wanted honey below the market price, conscious of all these things, yet most conscious of each other close side by side. It was also dear that ride and over so soon, Marsha was just trying to get used to looking up into the dazzling light of David's eyes. She had to droop her own almost immediately, for the truth she read in his was overpowering. Could it be, a fluttering thought came timidly to her heart and would not be denied? Can it be, can it be that he cares for me? He loves me, he loves me! It sang its way in with thrill after thrill of joy, and more and more David's eyes told the story which his lips dared not risk yet. But eyes and hearts are not held by the conventions that bind lips. They rushed into the inheritance of each other and had that day ahead, a day so rare and sweet that it would do to set among the jewels of fair days for all time and for any one. All too soon they began to turn into roads where there were other vehicles, many of them, and all going in the same direction. Men and women in Galaday attire all laughing and talking expectantly, and looking at one another as the carriages passed, with a degree of familiar curiosity which betokens a common errand. Family coaches, farm wagons, with kitchen chairs for accommodation of the family, old one-horse chases, carials, and even a stagecoach or two, wheeled into the old turnpike. David and Marcia settled into subdued quiet, their joy not expressing itself in the ripples of laughter that had wrung out earlier in the morning when they were alone. They sawed each other's eyes often and often, and in one of these excursions that David's eyes made to Marcia's face, he noticed how extremely becoming the new bonnet was. After thinking it over, he decided to risk letting her know. He was not shy about it now. "'Do you know, dear?' he said. There had been a good many deers slipping back and forth all unannounced during that ride, and that openly acknowledged either. "'Do you know how becoming your new bonnet is to you? You look prettier than I ever saw you look but once before.'  "'When was that?' she asked coyly to hide her embarrassment, and sweeping him one laughing glance. "'Why that night, dear, at the gate in the moonlight, don't you remember?' "'Oh!' Marcia caught her breath, and a thrill of joy passed through her that made her close her eyes lest the glad tears should come. Then the little bird in her heart set up the song in earnest to the tune of wonder. "'He loves me! He loves me! He loves me!' He leaned a little closer to her. "'If there were not so many people looking, I think I should have to kiss you now.' "'Oh!' said Marcia, drawing in her breath, and looking around frightened on the number of people that were driving all about them, for they were come almost to the railroad now and could see the black smoke of the engine a little beyond as it stood puffing and snorting upon its track like some sulky animal that had been caught and chained and harnessed and was longing to leap forward and upset its load. But though Marcia looked about in her happy fright and sat a little straighter in the chase, she did not move her hand away that lay next David's underneath the linen lap rope, and he put his own hand over it and covered it close in his firm hold. Marcia trembled and was so happy she was almost faint with joy. She wondered if she were very foolish indeed to feel so, and if all love had this terrible element of solemn joy in it that made it seem too great to be real. They had to stop a number of times to speak to people. Everybody knew David it appeared. This man in that had a word to speak with him, some bit of news that he must not omit to notice in his article, some new development about the attitude of a man of influence that was important, the change of two or three of those who were to go in the coaches on this trial trip. To all of them David introduced his wife with a ring of pride in his voice as he said the words my wife, and all of them stopped whatever business they had in hand and stepped back to bow most differentially to the beautiful woman who sat smiling by his side. They wondered why they had not heard of her before, and they looked curiously, enviously at David, and back in admiration at Marcia. It was quite a little court she held sitting there in the chaise by David's side. Men who have since won a mention in the pages of history were there that day, and nearly all of them had a word for David Spafford and his lovely wife. Many of them stood for some time and talked with her. Mr. Thurlow Weed was the last one to leave them before the train was actually ready for starting, and he laid an urging hand upon David's arm as he went. Then you think you cannot go with us? Better come. Mrs. Spafford will let you, I am sure. You are not afraid, are you, Mrs. Spafford?  Better come, Spafford. But David laughingly thanked him again, as he had thanked others, and said that he would not be able to go, as he and his wife had other plans, and he must go on to Albany as soon as the train had started. Marcia looked up at him half worshipfully as he said this, wondering what it was, instinctively knowing that it was for her sake he was giving up this honor which they all wished to put upon him. It would naturally have been an interesting thing to him to have taken this first ride behind the new engine to Witt Clinton. Then suddenly, like a chill wind from a thundercloud that has stolen up unannounced and clutched the little wild flowers before they have time to bind up their windy locks and duck their heads under cover, there happened a thing that clutched Marcia's heart and froze all the joy in her veins. CHAPTER XXIX A coach was approaching filled with people, some of them Marcia knew. They were friends and neighbors from their own village, and behind it, plotting along, came a horse with a strangely familiar gait drawing four people. The driver was old Mr. Heath, looking unbelievably at the scene before him. He did not believe that an engine would be able to haul a train any appreciable distance whatever, and he believed that he had come out here to witness this entire company of fanatics circumvented by the ill-natured iron steed who stood on the track ahead surrounded by gaping boys and a flock of quacking ganders living symbol of the people who had come to see the thing start. So thought Mr. Heath. He told himself he was as much of a goose as any of them to have let this chit of a woman fool him into coming off out here when he ought to have been in the hayfield today. By his side in all the glory of shimmering blue with a wide white lace bertha and a bonnet with a steeple crown wreathed about heavily with roses sat Kate, a blue silk parasol shading her eyes from the sun, those eyes that looked to conquer and seemed to pierce beyond and through her sister and ignore her. Old Mrs. Heath and Miranda were along, but they did not count except to themselves.  She desired above all things to see that wonderful engine in which David was so interested. Marsha shrunk and seemed to wither where she sat. All her bright bloom faded in an instant and a kind of frenzy seized her. She had a wild desire to get down out of the carriage and run with all her might away from this hateful scene. The sky seemed to have suddenly clouded over and the hum and buzz of voices about seemed to babble that would never cease. David felt the arm beside his cringe and shrink back and looking down saw the look upon her sweet frightened face. Following her glance his own face hardened into what might have been termed righteous wrath. But not a word did he say and neither did he apparently notice the oncoming carriage. He busied himself at once talking with a man who happened to pass the carriage and when Mr. Heath drove by to get a better view of the engine he was so absorbed in his conversation that he did not notice them which seemed but natural. But Kate was not to be thus easily foiled. She had much at stake and she must win if possible. She worked it about that Squire Heath should drive around to the end of the line of coaches quite out of sight of the engine and where there was little chance of seeing the train and its passengers. The only thing Squire Heath cared about. But there was an excellent view of David's carriage and Kate would be within hailing distance if it should transpire that she had no further opportunity of speaking with David. It seemed strange to Squire Heath as he sat there behind the last coach patiently that he had done what she asked.  Miranda at that had insisted upon changing seats thereby getting herself nearer the horse and the scene of action. Miranda did not like to miss seeing the engine start. At last word to start was given. A man ran along by the train and mounted into his high seat with his horn in his hand ready to blow. The fireman seized his raking of the glowing fire and every traveler spring into his seat and looked toward the crowd of spectators importantly. This was a great moment for all interested. The little ones whose fathers were in the train began to call goodbye and wave their hands and one old lady whose only son was going as one of the train assistants began to sob aloud. A horse in the crowd began to act badly. Every snort of the engine as the steam was let off made him start in rear.  A man was trying most ineffectually to hold him but it seemed as if in another minute he would come plunging into the seat with them. Marsha uttered a frightened cry and clutched at David's arm. He turned and seeing instantly what was the matter placed his arm protectingly about her and at once guided his own horse out of the crowd and around nearer to the engine. Somehow that protecting arm gave Marsha a steadiness once more and she was able to watch the wonderful wheels begin to turn and the whole train slowly move and start on its way. Her lips parted her breath came quick and for the instant she forgot her trouble. David's arm was still about her and there was a reassuring pressure in it. He seemed to have forgotten that the crowd might see him if the crowd had not been too busy watching something more wonderful. It is probable that only one person in that whole company saw David sitting with his arm about his wife for he soon remembered and put it quietly on the back of the seat where it would call no one's attention and that person was Kate. She had not come to this hot dusty place to watch an engine creak along a track. She had come to watch David and she was vexed and angry at what she saw. Here was Marsha flaunting her power over David directly in her face spiteful thing. She would pay her back yet and let her know that she could not touch the things that she, Kate, had put her own sign and seal upon. For this reason it was that at the last minute Kate allowed poor Squire Heath to drive around near the front of the train saying that as David's baffled seemed to find it safe, she supposed she ought not to hold them back for her fears. It needed but the word to send the vexed and curious Squire around through the crowd to a spot directly behind David's carriage and there Miranda could see quite well and Kate could sit and watch David and frame her plans for immediate action so soon as the curtain should fall upon this ridiculous engine play over which everybody was wild. And so amid shouts and cheers and squawking of the geese that attempted to proceed the engine like a white frightened bodyguard down the track, amid the waving of handkerchiefs, the shouts of excited little boys and the neighing of frightened horses, the first steam engine that ever drew a train in New York State started upon its initial trip. Then there came a great hush upon the spectators assembled. The wheels were rolling, the carriages were moving, the train was actually going by them, and what had been so long talked about was an assured fact. They were seeing it with their own eyes and might be witnesses of it to all their acquaintances. It was true, they dared not speak nor breathe lest something should happen and the great miracle should stop. They hushed simultaneously as though at the passing of some great soul. They watched in silence until the train went on between the meadows, grew smaller in the distance, slipped into the shadow of the wood, flashed out into the sunlight beyond again, and then was lost behind a hill. A low murmur growing rapidly into a shout of cheer arose as the crowd turned and faced one another and the fact of what they had seen. By gum she can do it! ejaculated Squire Heath, who had watched the melting of his skeptical opinions in speechless amazement. The words were the first intimation the Spaffords had of the proximity of Kate. They made David smile, but Marcia turned white with sudden fear again. Not for nothing had she lived with her sister so many years. She knew that cruel nature and dreaded it. David looked at Marcia for sympathy in his smile at the old Squire, but when he saw her face he turned frowning toward those behind him. Kate saw her opportunity. She leaned forward with honeyed smile, and wily as the serpent addressed her words to Marcia, loud and clear enough for all those about them to hear. Oh, Mrs. Stafford, I am going to ask a great favor of you. I am sure you will grant it when you know I have so little time. I am extremely anxious to get a word of advice from your husband upon business matters that are very pressing. Would you kindly change places with me during the ride home and give me a chance to talk with him about it? I would not ask it, but that I must leave for New York on the evening coach, and shall have no other opportunity to see him. Kate's smile was roses and cream touched with frosty sunshine, and to onlookers nothing could have been sweeter. But her eyes were coldly cruel as sharpened steel, and they said to her sister as plainly as words could have spoken, Do you obey my wish, my lady, or I will freeze the heart out of you? Marcia turned white and sick. She felt as if her lips had suddenly stiffened and refused to obey her when they ought to have smiled. What would all these people think of her, and how she was behaving?  While she was thinking this, with the freezing in her heart creeping up to her throat, the great tears beating at the portals of her eyes, and time standing suddenly still waiting for her leaden tongue to speak, David answered, All gracefully twas done, with not so much as a second's hesitation, though it had seemed so long to Marcia, nor the shadow of a sign that he was angry. Mrs. Leavenworth, he said in his masterful voice, I am sure my wife would not wish to seem ungracious or unwilling to comply with your request, but as it happens it is impossible. We are not returning home for several days. My wife has some shopping to do in Albany, and in fact we are expecting to take a little trip. A sort of second honeymoon, you know, he added, smiling toward Mrs. Heath and Miranda. It is the first time I have had leisure to plan for it, since we were married. I am sorry I have to hurry away, but I am sure that my friend, Squire Heath, can give as much help in a business way as I could, and furthermore, Squire Skyler is now in New York for a few days, as I learned in a letter from him which arrived last evening. I am sure he can give you more and better advice than any I could give. I wish you good morning. Good morning, Mrs. Heath. Good morning, Miss Miranda. Lifting his hat, David drove away from them and straight over to the little wayside hostelry, where he was to finish his article to send by the messenger, who was even then ready-mounted for the purpose. My, don't he think a lot of her, though? said Miranda, rolling the words as a sweet morsel under her tongue. It must be nice to have a man so fond of you. This was one of the occasions when Miranda wished she had eyes in the back of her head. She was sharp, and she had seen a thing or two, also as she had heard scraps of her cousin Hannah's talk. But she sat demurely in the recesses of her deep, ugly bonnet, and tried to imagine how the guest behind her looked. All trembling sat Marcia in the rusty parlor of the little hostelry, while David at the table wrote with hurried hand, glancing up to her to smile now and then, and passing over the sheets as he finished them for her criticism. She thought she had seen the Heathwagon drive away in the home direction, but she was not sure. She half expected to see the door open and Kate walk in. Her heart was thumping so she could hardly sit still, and the brightness of the world outside seemed to make her dizzy. She was glad to have the sheets to look over, for it took her thoughts away from herself and her nameless fears. She was not quite sure what it was she feared, only that in some way Kate would have power over David to take him away from her. As he wrote, she studied the dear lines of his face, and knew, as well as human heart may ever know, how dear another soul had grown to hers. David had not much to write, and it was soon signed, approved, and sealed. He sent his messenger on the way, and then coming back, closed the door and went and stood before Marcia. As though she felt some critical moment had come, she arose trembling and looked into his eyes questioningly. Marcia, he said, and his tone was graven earnest, putting her upon inequality with him, not as if she were a child any more. Marcia, I have come to ask your forgiveness for the terrible thing I did to you in allowing you, who scarcely knew what you were doing then, to give your life away to a man who loved another woman. Marcia's heart stood still with horror. It had come, then, that dreadful thing she had feared. The blow was going to fall. He did not love her.  But the steady voice went on, though the blood in her neck and temples throbbed in such loud waves that she could scarcely hear the words to understand them. It was a crime, Marcia, and I have come to realize it more and more during all the days of this year that you have so uncomplainingly spent yourself for me. I know now, as I did not think then, in my careless, selfish sorrow, that I was as cruel to you with your sweet young life as your sister was cruel to me. You might already have given your heart to someone else. I never stopped to inquire. You might have had plans and hopes for your own future. I never even thought of it. I was a brute. Can you forgive me? Sometimes the thought of the responsibility I took upon myself has been so terrible to me that I felt I could not stand it. You did not realize what it was then that you were giving, perhaps, but somehow I think you have begun to realize now. Will you forgive me? He stopped and looked at her anxiously. She was drooped and white as if a blast had suddenly struck her and faded her sweet bloom. Her throat was hot and dry, and she had to try three times before she could frame the words. Yes, I forgive. There was no hope, no joy in the words, and a sudden fear descended upon David's heart. Had he then done more damage than he knew, was the child's heart broken by him, and did she just realize it? What could he do? Must he conceal his love from her? Perhaps this was no time to tell it, but he must. He could not bear the burden of having done her harm and not also tell her how he loved her. He would be very careful, very considerate. He would not press his love as a claim, but he must tell her. And, Marsha, I must tell you the rest. He went on, his own words seeming to stay upon his lips, and then tumble over one another. I have learned to love you as I never loved your sister. I love you more and better than I ever could have loved her. I can see how God has led me away from her and brought me to you. I can look back to that night when I came to her and found you there waiting for me and kissed you, darling. Do you remember?  I was troubled at the time, dear, for having kissed you and given you the greeting that I thought belonged to her. I have rebuked myself for thinking since how lovely you looked as you stood there in the moonlight.   Lately I have been looking back to that night I met you at the gate and feeling jealous that that meeting was not all ours, that it should be shadowed for us by the heartlessness of another. It gives me much joy now to think how I took you in my arms and kissed you. I cannot bear to think it was a mistake. Yet glad as I am that God sent you down to that gate to meet me, and much as I love you, I would rather have died than feel that I have brought sorrow into your life and bound you to one to whom you cannot love. Marcia, tell me truly, never mind my feelings, tell me, can you ever love me? Then did Marcia lift her flower-like face, all bright with tears of joy and a flood of rosy smiles, the light of seven stars in her eyes. But she could not speak. She could only, after a little, whisper, Oh David, I think I have always loved you. I think I was waiting for you that night, though I did not know it. And look, was sudden thought. She drew from the folds of her dress a little old-fashioned locket hung by a chain about her neck out of sight. She opened it and showed him a soft gold curl, which she touched gently with her lips, as though it were something very sacred. What is it, darling? asked David perplexed, half happy, half afraid as he took the locket and touched the curl, more thrilled with the thought that she had carried it next to her heart than with the sight of it. It is yours, she said, disappointed that he did not understand. And Clarinda gave it to me while you were away. I've worn it ever since, and she gave me other things and told me all about you. I know it all about the tops and the marbles and the spelling book, and I've cried with you over your punishments and I love it all. He had fastened the door before he began to talk, but he caught her in his arms now, regardless of the fact that the shades were not drawn down and that they swayed in the summer breeze. Oh, my darling, my wife! he cried and kissed her lips for the third time. The world was changed then for those two. They belonged to each other, they believed, as no two that ever walked through Eden had ever belonged. When they thought of the precious bond that bound them together, their hearts throbbed with a happiness that well nigh overwhelmed them. A dinner of stewed chickens and little white soda biscuits was served them, fit for a wedding breakfast, for the maid whispered to the cook that she was sure there was a bride and groom in the parlor. They looked so happy and seemed to forget everybody else was by. But it might have been ham and eggs for all they knew what it was they ate, these two who were so happy they could but look into each other's eyes. When the dinner was over and they started on their way again, with Albany shimmering in the hot sun in the distance, and David's arms sliding from the top of the seat to circle Marcia's waist, David whispered, This is our real wedding journey, dearest, and this is our bridal day.  I can stay a whole week if you wish. Would you like to go home for a visit? Marcia, with shining eyes and glowing cheeks, looked her love into his face and answered, Yes, now I would like to go home, just for a few days, and then back to our home. And David, looking into her eyes, understood why she had not wanted to go before. She was taking her husband, her husband, not Kate's, with her now, and might be proud of his love. She could go among her old comrades and be happy, for he loved her.  He said, Darling, but their eyes said more. End of Chapter 29. End of Marcia Skyler by Grace Livingston Hill. Read by Tricia G.


Hi, my name is Kwame and I'm a documentary filmmaker, photographer and voiceover artist based in Accra, Ghana. And you're welcome to my vlog. It's okay. And this channel is my attempt to make sense of life and the human experience in general that is learning, living and taking it one day at a time. Now today, I'm gonna be talking about this book which I think you should read, especially if you are creative, which I must say that I have thoroughly enjoyed reading for so many reasons, some of which I'm going to share with you. So please keep watching and I promise you that this will be worth your while. But before I go into the book, a little story. So this happened a couple of weeks. I was running a few errands and I drove past my favorite bookstore and I was like, I immediately remembered that I needed to get a book or I wanted to get a book at scene, get reviewed and recommended by Ali Abdul called The Unfair Advantage by Ash Ali and Hassan Kuba. I wasn't exactly sure I'd get it there immediately but I needed to try anyway because of the limited movements we're faced with now due to, you know what. So I immediately went to the business aisle of the store searching for this particular book, but well, I didn't get it, I was unlucky. However, I was rather determined to at least leave the store with the book. So I browsed further and came across another recommendation from Ali again that is the four hour work week. And the strange thing was I wasn't too keen on settling yet. So I looked and came across this one, things no one else can.  Teach us and I was instinctively drawn to it also because of the hard cover. And I love hard covers, so please don't judge me.  I was like, hmm, this author had written another book which I had made a video about on the topic and I thought, you know what, this was meant to be. I need to read this particular book. So I paid for it and I made reservations for the book I had wanted to get initially. The store offers that service. So I left the title and the details and that's how I came by this book and it wasn't a recommendation but I'm happy that I really got it. Now to the book. For me, I'll describe this book as more of a raw take on tough love and realness. Humble the poet. Yes, he tells it as it is. He uses his own truths and stories to make his point and I found it very, very engaging. It reminded me of what I had met about my two favorite YouTubers, Matt Diavella and Nathaniel Drew. They tell their own stories, they share their truths and they film it for us to watch and I think it's that kind of engaging storytelling that has most of their subscribers hooked and it's wonderful. If you don't know them, you should check them out. I'm happy the book wasn't one of those mantra chanting cliches but instead simple truths and stories of a real person in a real world. It was that easy. So don't tell people what to do. Share your story with them before telling them what you learned from it. They'll either take it or leave it. Now this book has been written in sections with chapters underneath them and every section has a broad theme and I'll do my best to summarize my key lessons from each of these sections in order to make this faster because if I dwell, I'll probably need three hours or more to do this vlog and honestly, nobody has time for that. So in the introduction, I discovered something that affects a lot of creatives including myself and that's overthinking. You are creating because you love it and you want to create value with your art not because they love it. It doesn't even matter, just share it, you know. A voice in my head continues to tell me that my stories aren't worth sharing and that it's egotistical to assume anyone would care to read them but another voice is emerging. A voice that reminds me that we are all in this together and that sharing my challenges and experiences and the lessons I have learned will contribute to a world beyond myself. After all, storytelling has been an essential tool for evolution as a species and that's exactly what this channel is about. It's about sharing my challenges and experiences and it's not even about me in the end. So let's get to section one of the book, section one. Fortunately or unfortunately, nothing lasts forever. And now this section is essentially talking about how we should not hold on to things, thinking that we can have them forever and how we also keep wanting more and more of everything. How ambitions and our need to survive can make us forget the most important things which are almost always right in front of us. This section also reminds us that nothing, nothing is permanent so we should enjoy our presence while it's here because everything will end at some point and there is nothing you can do about it and you shouldn't rob yourself of the good while you're chasing the better. So I find myself complaining about things I don't have and how happy I'd be if I'd have it. It happens with gear and it happens with projects and my excuse is to not start because I want it to be this way or that way and I fail my head with worry. And guess what happens? Everything becomes a chore and the truth is there will always be people who are better or the things which are better than what you currently have and you see that because the people worked for it and have some advantage with experience and individual creativity and it has nothing to do with what you have or not. If we're not happy with what we have, we won't be very happy with all that we get. Now the thing is ambition is good. To want isn't bad, but don't forget to enjoy life when you have it. Enjoy the people and the things that are here and now. Just enjoy them. Section two, knowing yourself makes all the difference. Now this section speaks about not allowing yourself to be defined by anything or anyone besides yourself. It talks about how life is governed by certain rules and principles and institutions, cultures, religion and everything that forms that template that this life has been presented to us over hundreds of years, if not thousands. And even though things have evolved, one thing stands which is society and we're judged by how best we fit in the societal norms and rules and it takes what's good and bad, what's ideal and what you should do to seem or come off as normal. As far as I've come to realize, our individuality will always cause problems with such a way of life. Granted, some are able to fit in and follow the format but what happens to those who are different and the thing is different is okay. And knowing that you're different and embracing what you are capable of will open you up to a way of life that will have you navigating this conformity based life not conforming but still living a happy normal life. Societal pressures puts us in positions where we overthink everything because we want to fit in. We live with a fear that limits us in so many ways. The worst one is not knowing why you're even here and all the while living in fear of being wrong and offending society. It's just BS. Our worst fears are rarely realized and even when they are, we're still standing. So we're only tasked to find out why we're here and live it out and also remember that as time passes, what means a lot to us now wouldn't mean a lot to us another time. So your why can change and it's up to you to embrace the change. Know your why and your how becomes easier. The more deeply we dive inward, the more clarity we'll have about what tickles our fancy and we'll quickly realize that purpose isn't one size fits all. We can survive anything. Knowledge of self is the most essential journey you will ever embark on and self-liked time is ever changing. Now let's go to section three. Don't focus on the pots of gold. Enjoy the rainbow. I found myself coming to terms with this section because of how increasingly difficult it has become to not concentrate on the end of things or how things end and go because for some of us finishing a task is a better way to keep going and no matter how small the task is finishing it feels more like the reward than anything and it has to be done. So I know why I'm doing it and finishing it will make me feel accomplished and satisfied. That's basically how I look at things. But this section poses that one question that you should or you must ask yourself after you've completed that particular task or something. Did you enjoy it? Especially on YouTube the videos you make and think that hey, yes you put in the work and so it deserves the views often doesn't live up to your expectations in terms of views and hard work doesn't always equal success and success is lived for a short while until you want more. Now what stays with you? What stays with you for longer is the experience of doing what you remember about the whole thing. Was it enjoyable or was it just another chore? So the experience is what you should be craving all the time. I'm almost always chasing the payoff and how it ends and what it will mean to me those are the things I look out for. But Humble The Poets says this about missing out on being selected for the TEDx fellowship program. He says that In the past, I hesitated dozens of times when presented with opportunities because I didn't know whether they would pay off in the end. I began to realize over time that opportunities themselves were the payoff regardless of whether they turned out to be the way I wanted them to. So always remember that. Opportunity itself is the payoff. Section four and five. Zoom out and zoom in. So I decided to merge section four and five because they come off as two contradicting ideas but they make a perfect fit. Kind of like a vertigo effect in filmmaking or what you may know as the Dolly Zoom. Now the reason why I'm deciding to merge these two is that they all talk about our judgment of things and people and even ourselves. But using two obvious techniques that's zooming in and zooming out. The first one, which is zoom out is trying to step back from situations and take a holistic look at it. There's a bigger picture that we are all existing in. The picture can be very small when we look at it with only where we exist in the frame and not past it. Now people do what they do due to their circumstances and people are what they are due to where they find themselves in this big frame and so you can't be judging. Personality, spirituality and choices are all as a result of something. Judging will limit you. Understanding will open you up to better experiences. Trying to understand someone or something requires much more effort than judging but it's so much more enriching in the long run. Zooming out also reminds us of how small we are in this big picture and that. We're not alone in figuring things out. We're not so special in the end and that if we stopped fretting and taking it easy on ourselves we'd realize that it's all okay and we're not alone. We're all so insignificant in the grand scheme of things and even the grand scheme we understand is insignificant compared to the grand scheme we don't yet know. So stop worrying so much. On the other hand, zooming in can also improve our perspective with deeper dive into situations and things that affect us. That's the people and the choices we make leading to the experiences that tend to live with us. We need to understand that trauma is an individual experience for everyone but let's also be mindful of how often we over-amplify the degree of our trauma while underestimating our resilience. Nothing is the end of the world until it's the end of the world and then nothing will matter anyway. Section six, limit yourself pity. I loved how this particular section even begun or even opened. The five S's we have to worry about are salt, sugar, sitting, social media and self-pity. All are highly addictive and will take a heavy toll on us if we consume them over a long period of time. Lord knows we all have our social media battles and the screen addiction that we don't even realize is hurting us in the long run. To be honest, I have never let perfect or the perfect lives of others affect how I thought about mine because most of the things that they show off were not things that I really craved until I started freelance filmmaking and got into YouTube and discovered there were YouTubers who seemed to be too good at this filmmaking thing and YouTubing and I ended up letting it work me up by not appreciating my own journey enough and self-pity will only rob you of the time you could have invested in doing what makes you happy ultimately. Ultimately. And what we have to remember is that sometimes we're gonna have a good and other times not so good and if we're not screaming why me in the good times then we should learn not to do that in the bad times because that's just what life is. Everyone, everyone experiences the good and the bad. So awareness will either motivate us to complain less or show gratitude more. Maybe both if we're lucky. Our problems aren't always our fault but they are still our responsibility. Overall, I was happy that this section didn't sell the idea of ignoring your emotions from disappointments and trauma which is something that I do very well because I don't think they serve any purpose and that time is being wasted. But rather to acknowledge them, understand it and move on without dwelling and using it as a way to justify your lack of progress. So I really, really liked this session for that. And the final section was section seven. There's no win or lose, just win or learn. Now this is pretty self-explanatory but it's not easy to put it into practice for most of us which is true to myself. Now it's quite a skill to be able to see through defeat and failures to find the lessons that present or that are presented to you. And this particular section basically presents us with the idea that the fortunate ones are the ones who can find lessons in their mistakes and we do, we do get better whether we win or we lose and it's up to you to see the good in the good and the better in the bad. The moment we can learn from a situation is the moment we win. Finding and creating shining gold in even the dullest and dimmest of places. All our lives are beautiful messes and no one else knows how it feels to have our experiences or how much we hold on to or how much longer we can go on. So I must say that I'm really happy that you stayed all the way to the end of this video if you did. I'm equally happy if you actually skimmed through because it was so long. I just wanted to share with you what I had learned and the most you can do for me now is to like this video if you got something from it and we'll most likely read this book for yourself. Looking forward to catch you again another time. Peace.


In this study, we found that all sort of colitis patients had similar incidences of colorectal cancer as compared to the general population, regardless of whether they had primary sclerosis colonitis. However, all sort of colitis patients with primary sclerosis colonitis had significantly higher incidences of biliary cancer than those without, or in the general population. This suggests that all sort of colitis patients with primary sclerosis colonitis are at greater risk for developing biliary cancer. This article was authored by Unhaio, Yeezy Kim, Minju Kim, and others.


Hello and welcome once again to the Rugged Rockhound. Today gonna cut some rocks open. Actually have quite a few little gilds I managed to find so Let's get at it Start things off. I got a little bit of that kind of yellow and black agate from near Levan Yeah, it's kind of got a yellowish color to it a little bit of that yellow Here's some black agate from Levan This one was actually up in the conglomerate from the conglomerate layer rather than the volcanic where most of it comes from and oh That's just solid actually that's cool drop that piece. So Huh? Yeah, I might want to slab some more pieces of that up Get some light going through it very nice Here's this geode from Dugway Looks nice. It's like a good old Dugway geode Here's a little bit of a red jasper. I saw sitting around and And there's Jasper. There's an interesting little circle right there I wonder if that's like a little fossil Sometimes you will get little fossils trapped in them if they originated in a limestone Really cool Here's some more Levan black agate the thing shattered a bit. So let's just kind of look at the pieces Got that Got that one That one these are the nice pieces right here a little bit better more clear nice This is a stream pebble I found that looks like travertine basically calcite, so Yeah, you can see kind of the calcite form through there Probably would look nice with light shining through it. Don't know if you can see any Cool There we go and another nice looking Dugway geode Whoa That one is really filled in look at that There's a lot of calcite in there agate got some banding there Here's some more of the black agate from Levan Okay, it looks about like I thought pretty nice This is some of that black and yellow agate that we found that we hadn't cut open Very nice. Oh, yeah It's so nice to have that yellow in there. It adds a great contrast and some good lines in there Nice Here's a piece of jasper. I saw laying around kind of a jas bag it And it didn't really cut it just fractured as I tried to cut it, but that's what it looked like Very nice still Here's some more black agate from the van didn't realize I was gonna cut so much Levan black agate today and calcite. Oh That's kind of cool You got that calcite in different patterns in there that makes it look very different Here's another Dugway geode. Oh Very nice. Oh, it's very filled in. This one's more like a thunder egg Cool Here's a piece of Wonderstone from Salina And oh kind of neat based on the colors. I actually know where this came from this would have been the the South Hill Cool Here's some more of that black and yellow agate. Oh, yeah Yeah, that looks nice. Yeah cut thin pieces. I should look really cool Of course, what would a cutting be without some Vernon Wonderstone? So probably he's gonna look like that and yeah pretty much Still nice. It's always nice This is a little bit of that red Levan agate that we found I wanted to see if there was anything else inside of it and Little bit some black to actually decent amount of black Really cool And our last one for today is this Dugway geode that was already broken here But look at that looks like a good thunder egg. Let's see. Yep. It continues very nice Very nice indeed. That's a good one to end on As always some nice pieces that was About what I thought for the most part, but yeah still really nice and it is September now the temperature starting to come down and Rock-hounding will once again start to begin in earnest as the temperature is much more preferred To go out rock-hounding. So look forward to some more rock-hounding and yeah, I'm excited Let's get out and see what we can find and remember there is treasure everywhere


Yo what's poppin boys and girls ladies and gents welcome back to another episode of kicking their bass TV We're doing some a little bit different today.  Go out on the river I'm trying to catch some big fish. We're actually going on the Gichi today So this is Cody's first time on the Gichi with me. Yeah, so it's gonna be a lot of fun We've been going on Savannah River when we hit the rivers But today we're gonna spice it up throw in on the Gichi see if we can catch some good fish So Cody, we're gonna be ballin on a budget today, man. So I'd say under 20 bucks Okay, but how about you put a price on it and let's go in there and buy the baits with tax and everything All right, what do you think you want to keep it at? Say, let's try to ball on a budget of around $15 65 cents Something like that 65. We just want to add that in. I mean we can do it Okay, so I assume like some soft plastics like maybe a hard bait Yeah, or two maybe one row Texas and then yeah, definitely Maybe some hooks maybe a little bit of weights our problem recently guys It's been like weights you cannot find any bullet weights anywhere And that's been like the biggest struggle like every time I go to Walmart or go to any place Nobody has any weight. So I'm praying that they have some weights today. I think we've got some hooks But we're gonna go in here grab a few soft plastics Maybe grab a hard bait and see if we can get what $15 and 65 cents. Yeah, all right $15 65 cents Let's get it. There's a lot of people So I just looped around there's 13 people just standing on the dock out there and that is not a big I don't think there's even a parking spot over here We ended up coming out a little later your boy slept in a little bit Saturday So I think what we should do I was just talking to Cody about it I think we should put it on the Savannah River But go fish title which we've only fished in one video in the last like five months So I think we go out there to be a little different We'll be playing around with the tides. I think we might be able to catch some more fish There's just way too many boats and I think they also have a tournament going on today So let's go ahead and hop on the road and head to the Savannah River. All right, so we just get out of this brand There's some boats out here. They might be having like a little pop tournament, but I was gonna show you guys this We spent $15 in 60 cents. We're five cents short, but let me show you guys right there with tax It's 14 58 and plus a dollar or two 1560 All right there five cents short Cody man. Yeah So what we're gonna do now is go ahead back the boat in get her out there go head out to our first spot I'll show you guys everything that we bought go ahead and re-up the rods and hopefully catch a really big one today I'm hoping we catch an eight pounder. I just really want a big river bass It's been a minute since we came in tidal water.  Let's get it All right, so we just got out to our first spot I haven't fished out here in a while and this is like where I started fishing out on the river So I'm kind of pumped about it today We got four different baits for y'all and then also a little surprise Pack of weight. I'll show y'all the first bait that we have today is actually a zoom speed crawl This is in standard green pumpkin Then we have a strike King Sanko right there and that's watermelon red We've got a regular pack of zoom flukes And that's just in regular white pearl and then we have a strike King spinner bait right there And that's just a regular white spinner bait. I think that's gonna catch them today I think all the base that we got we're gonna end up smoking them all now here The one thing is the water is super murky as you guys can probably tell behind me We've been going up river recently the water is a lot clearer when you come down here to title water You'll notice the water clarity is ridiculous.  I usually wouldn't throw in dirty water But I think we're gonna be able to make it work today. I also get this pack of these are egg sinkers I cannot find bullet weights anywhere. So we just got a pack of egg sinkers We have a few bullet weights that we'll use. I'm gonna if we run out. We'll just plot these on So I want to be rigging all these baits up on a extra Y gap hook probably three odd You can get away with the four odd as well But I think the bait that I'm gonna start off with is the Sanko right here I think I'm gonna chuck it around for a little bit Cody you probably fish a little bit today I'll let him pick out one of these to start throwing and then we'll probably use the spinner bait for one of the last lures and See if we can complete this challenge ballin on a budget only $15 at Walmart Let's see what we can do with the baits that we bought. All right, so we're gonna go ahead and bring up this Sanko on this little Texas rig see we can do I might need a retie that not gonna lie might need a retie But a Sanko is a bait that just catches fish guys even though we don't have the exact color I think we should be throwing It's gonna catch them. I just have feeling This is the rig that we got Right there very basic that bullet weight is a little too big I'm telling you guys I cannot find bullet weights anywhere If any you guys have suggestions on where I can get some bullet weights Let me know because it has been hard I think I'm gonna take a trip to Bass Pro and see if I can find some But that is the rig that we're gonna start off with see if we catch a fish on this Then we'll probably switch up to the crawler the fluke possibly throw that spinner bait around I don't know. I'm pumped about today. I think we could possibly hook a really big one So let's get to work Oh right let's get it started Right away first cast eight pounder Eight pounder yonder, you know Hey it looks saucy. What I will say today guys too is You know we're in tidal water now Water goes up and down and the water is pretty high today Not going to lie It is a little high a little full We're gonna try our best. We talked to One guy that was leaving out of the water He was out the ramp. He came early this morning And he said what did he say Cody? He really said a bass and a mudfish didn't he? I didn't hear him. I don't know I know he said something about a bass. I don't know if he only caught one Or he said his buddy said he caught a mudfish So I'm hoping that doesn't mean it's super tough today But I have high hopes. I know we can find him and get to work And catch some really good fish. I have confidence in ourselves So let's go ahead and start casting around And see if we can put together You got him Nice What is it? It's a warm mouth Really?   Look at the crawl.  I think that's what's been eating me I had a feeling that I was gonna get a warm mouth on That crawl That's awesome Hey you gotta start somewhere right?  It's a good bass Oh my gosh What? Okay Nice dude That is so freaking crazy That scared the mess out of me bro We're like, me and Cody were just talking And we're like man we've seen everything today except for a bass And he's throwing that crawl And his warm mouth kinda have been pecking him He's had like three bites And all of a sudden this bass just jerked the rod out of my hand I'm gonna be honest man If I wouldn't have landed this fish I would have never thought it was a bass the way he bit That is a thick chunky dude And what a way for the first bass today That was awesome That's a good fish man Man that's really a chunky Good chunky bass I can't believe how she bit it You should have felt it It like kinda hooks it itself I just kinda leaned into it and she was running But Cody just caught a warm mouth Your boy just caught a bass Let's get it dude Yeah I was dragging it to the side and he just I got one I'm dragging it dude Pablo Picasso There we go guys second bass About 5-10 minutes later Cody Yeah I think we're getting on him He ain't big But he didn't even feel like a bass to be honest with you He bit it like something else but I was dragging it the same way What I was talking about before you know I was hopping that bait wasn't getting any bites Started dragging it Then you start getting some fish eating it so The small little details that you pick up You know when you get out on the water are very important sometimes You know you can go from hopping your bait And not having bites you know who knows you could We could have fished out here for five hours hopping it I might not have caught one Figuring out that dragging it right there was getting the bites Boom instantly 10 minutes caught two bass so Let's keep it going Alright guys We're gonna try the old fluke ski Put that fluke on Let's skip her up a few times in here Looks like a wake off that bank when I threw up there So I'm gonna just tie this bag around There's really no reason for me not to have it on right now Because I'm not gonna I have multiple rods with me today I had my chatter bait spinner bait rod So I was like I might as well tie it on And I can pick it up whenever I want Throw it pick up that fluke whenever I want throw it Throw that Sanko that curl Just kind of have them all tied on so That is what we gonna do I'm hoping we'll get one on this bait today Water is very murky so I think this could be a good bait it's just the fishing seems a little slow We talked to a few other people a second ago And it really don't seem like anybody's doing any good But I mean we caught three fish in A short amount of time so I think we can have a pretty decent day we just gotta Put our heads down and keep covering water So this is the real question Cody We saw that there is a boat fishing in here about 30 minutes ago Do you think we can catch a fish behind them? 100% yeah That's true That's true So guys we were just There was a guy that was here when we were pulling up to the first spot And this is a little canal you know it ain't much And you tell he already fished it out He was just coming out of it so We're gonna have to catch whatever the heck he didn't catch So Maybe we'll get a bite maybe we won't But I think we can Cody was just saying in the past I mean we've done it We've done it to extreme levels too We're on super tough days so I think we can catch one or two back here Let's just focus up Really I don't know how the boat keeps turning dude My power poles are gone What do you actually like Really What I'm gonna do I'm gonna put a curl on like you It took my hook out Yeah I'm gonna put one of those curls on Cause I already caught two on the Senko Way to just thump you one good time It was really hard and I went to Get ready to set and it was already I don't think I'd ate it all the way It was all the way in the back He was crazy his last time They were biting more right out in front of us Probably today is all these boats They've already hit all of this you know what I mean Oh I got one Dude he spit it out That might have been a mud fish That was a good like million percent Of bite He uh He just like went pulled back on me dude And that was it Like I lifted up to make sure it was him And I felt him pull down Oh it's a good bass Nice Look how fat that son of a gun is Oh my god There's the crawl knocked off the list Even though Cody already caught a warm up I know the camera doesn't do the justice Does it Cody? Can you kinda tell?   I thought he was so big dude It sounded like a big fish It sounded so big I'm just kidding because it plays back on that video we made I was working it like a topwater I was casting it out, keeping it on top Reeling it pretty fast And it just came up right there by that log And smushed it topwater He was reeling that crawl I've been all day throwing that crawl on the bottom And just bouncing off the bottom And then today over here I just switched it up That's awesome Dude why did that thing sound so big With everything that it did So we just got done What is this Cody? Third spot? Third spot of the day We've caught five, six fish total I think including Warmouth Maybe around five fish It's been a little tough But we have been spending a lot of time on stuff That I don't think we should be fishing We came back in here in hopes that we would catch a few We ended up catching one Cody caught that one on that crawl Reeling it as a topwater So we're just going to have to keep moving I threw that spinnerbait a good bit Just following with the blade spinning And one fish just slapped it and boiled on it But rather than that I haven't had a bite on a spinnerbait I threw the fluke a good bit Skipping it up on some of these trees Nothing The only bites that we've been able to have has been on a Texas rig So we're going to head out to another spot Keep throwing our baits, try to catch a few more fish For you guys and see if we can just hook that good one I know we're just steps away from Hooking a really big fish He ate it Yeah, it's a decent one Get your butt up here Alright guys, finally got that fluke done I skipped up in that spot Had that one come off Got this one to eat it like a topwater Which is the best feeling ever I think there's more bass on the bank right next to us But that's a really good bass right there Nice, Savannah River bass Very beautiful We're starting to catch fish, caught fish on a crawl Caught fish on a Sanko, caught fish on the fluke And now we just got to catch a fish on the spinnerbait Pretty fish Get her back in the water He ate that thing, cool too He came up like a topwater, missed it Popped it one more time, I saw him twirl on it That was a good bite But I think there's going to be some more fish over here Give me some Cody Alright guys, we got one on the fluke Which is exciting, fluke is one of the best baits So you can possibly throw We should be able to get us another one on it I want to throw that spinnerbait some more But I want to play around with this fluke Just to have it more, I can like skip it under this Like hang over right here And our, you know see how I just skipped right up under it That's where those bass are You got to get this bait in the right spot Because let me tell you, there's a lot of boats Of the boat ramp and everybody is hitting All the lakes right here around the boat ramp So we're more than likely going behind people What we 100% are, there's a boat right there And there's probably a boat earlier that hit this Because every spot that I threw in that I was like, alright, there should be a bass there There hasn't been a bass there The only spots is like stuff like that That it takes a really good cast Because some of the people that, you know That fish here earlier today Might not be able to cast out well under the trees So you know, I know I can get this fluke up under there And those are the hot spots That these bass should sit at So let's keep on covering some water And work back in here Let's see if we can keep catching Dude, that was crazy Oh my god, that bait just glided So good Catching your line, it's a warmout On a fluke Look at that right there Oh my gosh, look how pretty that fit Dude, look at the white marks On the bottom of his fin Look at the white marks on the bottom of his fins Fins, fins, fins, fins Fins?  You know those little net rigs I got? Oh my god You could probably Nice Cody! Yeah, it's a bass too You think that's him or a different one?