Hello, my name is James Bottomley and today I'm going to talk to you about encrypted virtual machine images for confidential computing. This is a joint demonstration done by me of IBM and Bridgesh Singh of AMD. Unfortunately, owing to pandemic conditions, we would have presented this jointly in person, but since we have to do little video recordings for you and the fact that we're both a long way from each other means that one or other of us had to do this recording, Bridgesh already has another session, so I get to do the recording of encrypted virtual images for confidential computing. Before I start, I should say a little bit about both of us, because if you have any questions about this presentation after the fact, you can contact us both by the email address as you see on the screen and, alternatively, you can contact me by my Twitter handle theoretically. I have to confess that Twitter for me is pretty much right only, so if you want to contact me on my Twitter biography, there's actually a matrix handle that you can use for direct messaging, and I'm actually responsive on matrix, whereas I log on to Twitter about once every other month. Before we begin, I should also apologize for the screen behind me, but what I've learned in the past 18 months of pandemic meetings is that people are much more apt to concentrate on the interesting background behind you than they are on the actual content of what you're saying, and in order to restore that possibility for you, I decided to screen it from you. So with that, let's start with the presentation. First of all, I want to get into what is confidential computing. This really is going to be a 10,000 foot overview, because there are several other presentations at KBM Forum that get into the actual nitty gritty of what confidential computing is, and all I'll really be talking about is what I am actually defining confidential computing to be. And for me, for the purpose of this presentation, confidential computing is all about x86 and bringing up encrypted virtual machines.  For instance, doing an encrypted envelope to protect the data isn't necessary if you have an isolated envelope to protect the data. And there are architectures like IBM's S390 and our arms trust zone, which actually do isolation instead of encryption to protect the confidential envelope. However, for the purposes of talking about encrypted virtual machine images in confidential computing, I'm concentrating exclusively on the x86 case. And that means the AMD SCD, the secure encrypted virtual machine technology, and the Intel TDX, which is the trusted execution technology. And effectively for both of those technologies, it means bringing up a virtual machine inside an encryption envelope. Once you've done this, what it means is the host system and particularly the administrator of that host physical system is incapable of capturing the contents of that virtual machine because they're encrypted against them. Only execution happening within the virtual machine sees unencrypted content. Both Intel and AMD implement this as encryption in main memory. And what that actually means is that things like the first and second level caches are not encrypted. And this also means there are lots of interesting attacks that you can go off and read about in academic papers that actually use the unencrypted cache to exfiltrate the data. So you shouldn't think of encryption as being the be all and end all of confidential computing. I'm fairly certain this is actually the beginning of a journey rather than the end of the road for all of this technology. So if you look at how we implement confidential computing in KVM, the simplest method is actually what we already have today. So KVM and QMU already have a mechanism for actually handling encrypted images. And it's called the Lux QCAR format and it's mediated by QMU in user space. And what it actually means is this. You actually get you actually have to hand off a key to QMU KVM and it will actually use it to encrypt and decrypt the contents of an encrypted disk before it goes into the virtual machine. And the problem is if this is an encrypted virtual machine with a confidential envelope, all of that encryption decryption is actually happening outside of that confidential envelope, which obviously means that if that confidential envelope, the encryption and the virtual machine is supposed to protect your secrets, it's not doing a very good job. And for that reason, we unfortunately can't use the Lux QCAR format mediated by QMU for actually doing this encryption, we have to look at something else. So one simple solution would be to move this Lux encryption into the image itself. So the encryption is actually executing within the confidential environment, which would solve most of the problems. And the good thing about building such images is they actually exist today. It's how most encrypted laptops work. And if any of you have a laptop that either you use for yourself to protect while you go through airports or custom zones or anything else or protects your employer's secret, chances are today you're actually using encryption technologies that work exactly like this, you'll have a Lux encrypted partition or Lux encrypted entire physical disk that you use to protect those secrets, meaning your laptop won't boot up unless you give it a password. So if we look at how this would work inside the confidential envelope, instead of being inside QMU KVM, the decryption itself is actually happening within the virtual machine. And that means that all QMU KVM the virtual machine monitor is doing is passing encrypted disks through so that they can be decrypted within the virtual machine. What this means is that the virtual machine monitor has no access either to the unencrypted data, also the key that is being used to decrypt and re-encrypt that data as the virtual machine is executing, which would seem therefore to give the complete solution for confidential computing virtual machine images. The untrusted VMM no longer sees the data or the key, which is the goal. And the problem now is how to place the decryption key securely into the guest such that it's not subject to interception by the untrusted virtual machine monitor. The first thing we have to talk about in this is something called attestation. Attestation basically means measuring something by a secure hash and validating that measurement. So SEV and SEVES, which are currently the only facility you have available in the market to place today, and they only do something called pre attestation. What pre attestation means is you verify pieces of virtual machine that are placed into the image before it started. Currently, only the OVMF firmware is one of these things that is placed into the virtual machine before it started, and therefore in pre attestation, that is the only thing you can attest to for a booting virtual machine. Even if we could attest the virtual machine image, because remember in the previous thing, the image is not placed into the guest virtual machine. The virtual machine boots from an encrypted disk to actually alter the memory contents to run it. But even if we could attest to the encrypted disk image, we wouldn't want to because it mutates as the virtual machine executes. The thing about attestation is the SHA-256 sum of the contents of something, and you want to validate that SHA-256 sum, you can't have it changing from moment to moment. You need it to be reasonably static. And the virtual machine image by virtue of the fact that it mutates doesn't provide the necessary static nature of that to allow you to attest to it. This means that for an encrypted virtual machine, what you really want is for the encryption envelope itself to protect the mutable bits of our virtual machine, and you want to attest to something that doesn't mutate. Obviously, with pre attestation, we can use a QAPI, a QMU API to retrieve that measurement of the P flash pages placed into the guest. And the measurement has to be delivered by a trust development. And on AMD, this trust development is called the platform security processor. And on Intel, it's called the quoting enclave. All current technology, by the way, requires UFI boot with OVMF. There is no encrypted machine technologies today that will actually work with SE BIOS. So everything from this point on forwards is talking about using a boot with OVMF. Current encrypted UFI boot on a physical system would go via an unencrypted EFI partition, which is where you would actually store grub. And then grub would receive a password that you type in, which you then use to decrypt the encrypted partition. So this dual unencrypted and encrypted piece is what you use to bring it up. The reason you can trust grub on a physical system is usually because it's verified by secure boot, or at least I hope it is. But this technology is not available to us in a virtual machine system. So we have to think of some other way of protecting that grub. And obviously for key release to work securely, every unencrypted piece must also be attested. And that has to include grub. So we have to find a way of actually attesting grub. However, only elements in P flash zero, which is where OVMF resides can be attested. So the simplest solution to all of this is actually to pull grub inside of OVMF, which is what we actually do today by introducing a new AMD SCD OVMF package, which actually includes grub. The patches that do this already upstream in OVMF today. So if you look at the EDK2 packet, the EDK2 GitHub repository, you'll see this AMD SCD package. Once we have attestation, we can then get on to secret injection. The AMD PSP can inject a page of data into a confidential virtual machine before it actually launches. The guest virtual machine has to find it and use it. And this causes another huge problem because you can inject it at any physical address designated actually by the guest virtual machine. So how do you find it again? Particularly as if you look at main memory, the P flash one that you insert into the virtual machine attested is now going to be uncompressed all over main memory. And you have to ensure that it doesn't trample all over the secret you're going to inject. So the first problem is to find a GPA which you can inject secret at. And the way we do this is in OVMF, we set aside a region of the MAMFD, just one page for actually storing that secret. And if we use that page, that page is then known to OVMF. The big problem is how do we actually make it known to KMU. And the way we solve this is to declare this page in OVMF inside a labeled part of the reset vector by what's called the GUID, which is really just a 128 bit random number. QMU can now actually scan the P flash image to find this GUID at the location we've placed it in of the reset vector. Once it has this GUID, it can then extract the parameters for the GPA to inject the secret at. This means that this GPA value is known to both OVMF and QMU. All tables in the solution are actually good described. So the secret table itself would actually contain a GUID description. All it basically means is a random GUID, 128 bit number, and a length, and then something that's described by that GUID within that length. All tables for OVMF are constructed like this. It's actually very simple. In order to be sure you're handling the correct table, all you have to do is find the GUID. And because 128 bits is rather large, randomly choosing a GUID is usually good enough. The next problem is to thread the secret handling through OVMF and up into Grub.  Since the secret is installed in a known MMFD location in OVMF, OVMF will cover it with what's called a boot time hob to protect it. Hob is handoff block. Boot time hob really means that this block will remain protected in the OVMF until you call Exit Boot Services, which isn't actually done until you get to the kernel OVMF bootstab. So what we can do is actually add an OVMI, add a UF like configuration table entry to point to the secret area once OVMF pulls it out. This configuration table is actually handed up to Grub. Grub itself does not call Exit Boot Services, the kernel does, so the secret is still available to Grub at the time it's handed off. Grub can now retrieve this configuration table and obtain the secret. Once Grub has the secret, it can use it to decrypt the encrypted volume and boot the virtual machine. To get all of this to work, OVMF has to be stripped down to its essentials and may hard fail if boot fails. That so it can't be tricked into revealing the secret because remember it is notionally under the control, the executing virtual machine, of the cloud service provider, the untrusted element. Even if they can't see inside the confidential computing envelope, they can alter various configuration parameters and if they can trick the boot into failing and giving up the secret, everything is lost because this OVMF and Grub is the only thing protecting the injected secret. So at this point, I would have loved to give you a demo. Unfortunately, when I made this video, all of the confidential computing machines, so we have AMD machines in the IBM Yorktown labs, were actually shut down for maintenance. So instead of giving you a real-life demo, unfortunately what I have to do because that shut down window occurred when I was making this video is tell you what would have happened. But hopefully after the fact, I'll actually be able to run through this video again or this demo again when the machines are up and actually give you a copy of them and I'll post that somewhere on the web so you can actually see proof that we got it working with a real-life virtual machine. So if we look at a demo, what you can see above me is the guest owner proxy and then to my right is the encrypted virtual, sorry to my left, is the encrypted virtual machine. This consists of the physical system which may or may not be trusted, but it contains a trusted element called the PSP, you can see it marked in green. On top of this physical system, the cloud service provider will bring up an untrusted virtual machine monitor, QMU KVM, marked in red, and on top of that you hope that it will bring up an encrypted virtual machine to which you will verify by attestation. So the first thing that actually happens with this PSP is that the guest owner proxy receives a Diffie-Hellman certificate from it. This Diffie-Hellman certificate can be verified with AMD to prove that you're actually talking to a genuine PSP. Once you have this Diffie-Hellman certificate you can use the Diffie-Hellman key embedded in it to formulate shared secret which will only be known to the guest owner proxy, you and the PSP itself. So when you have this guest owner secret you actually transfer it back to the untrusted virtual machine monitor as part of a launch bundle. This launch bundle will contain a whole load of encrypted things including a transfer key and an integrity key and it's given to the untrusted element but because it is all encrypted the untrusted element can't actually tamper with it. So they will either launch the virtual machine with this in which case you'll get attestation and proof or they won't in which case you won't. So the next thing that happens to the encrypted virtual machine is the untrusted element actually places this AMD SEV package inside it, the OVMF and GRUB combined and obviously at this point this is actually untrusted because it was put in by the untrusted element. But the next thing that happens is that the PSP will perform a measurement of these two components and hand you over a trusted channel the measurement itself and a random nonce which you will then use to formulate your your secret bundle. And as long as you agree with the measurement you'll then actually move on to wrapping the key inside an envelope which is encrypted with the encryption key but is also integrity protected with the nonce and the integrity protection key that you encrypted in the launch bundle. So once this is handed into the PSP the PSP will verify the integrity and if it doesn't match if the nonce doesn't match it will reject that key but if everything matches it will then perform the decryption and place that encrypted key that unencrypted key into OVMF at the location you both agreed to using that scanning technique we discussed earlier. Once this happens OVMF will hand that key up to GRUB using the configuration table and GRUB will then actually hand that key into or will actually use that key to decrypt the encrypted volume and this will then mean that all of the volume decryption encryption is happening inside the encrypted envelope. So effectively we have a successful launch of an encrypted virtual machine such as the untrusted element the red piece if you look at it wasn't able to receive any part of either the bits comprising that encrypted virtual machine or the encryption key. So what we need to do now is to actually analyze the security of this envelope and the first thing you can see is the security rests on a tested piece and an encrypted piece. The encrypted piece isn't attested because it's mutable so only the first piece that the cloud service provider would place into the machine is tested and this means that the encrypted piece is actually vulnerable to substitution attacks that's where you take cipher text from one incarnation of execution and place it into another incarnation of an execution. You would actually be able to trick the virtual machine as it's executing into possibly putting known plain text into that place and then substitute in place this is a cipher substitution attack. These are very dangerous. We could fix this in the image by adding integrity so we would use dmcrypt plus dmintegrity to do it. The reason why I haven't done it in the solution today is that the technology itself doesn't have memory integrity. Now it will in a future incarnation which is scv s and p and obviously Intel tdx but they're not available in the marketplace today which is why the the current solution is based on dmcrypt only not dmcrypt plus dmintegrity. And with that we move on to the conclusions. With current technology available today and actually mostly upstream so I have to tell you that the handling for this is upstream in ovmf. It's upstream in qmu but it's not quite upstream in grub because grub was actually having a feature freeze over the last year when this technology was developed but I'm hoping to get it upstream into grub very soon. It relies on pre attestation only which means it's compatible with the current scv and scv es and as future work what we're actually doing is we will think about what we apply this to post attestation and other future work includes getting the grub piece of this upstream and it also includes extending the secret handling to use other secret elements which can be passed on to say the kernel use them things like how to contain us and for other actual uses that we haven't yet thought of that would require secrets to be injected into the operating system itself. With that if you like this presentation I have to tell you that it was not done in Prezi, it was done by inimpress.js by Bartek Sopa that unfortunately does make me a web developer which in kernel terms puts me even below that of Rust developers and with that I will say thank you and call for questions.


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Here comes the sun little darling here comes the sun and I say it's all right Aaron judges back bat and lead off Jimmer for debt the constant pride of the Yankees future Yankee captain six seven two eighty five the thunder from down under Has everything was correct. Thank you. He once got zipped up in a body bag Covered his face Aaron judge big-ass body bag Like a dead body it's on YouTube. Oh, it's on my YouTube channel this one This YouTube channel this very channel has a video of judge being dead zipped up in a body bag Well body bag unzipped He's here Jake. He's playing games for the Yankees again What an exciting day we had Edwin we had Stan we have judge Yes The offense is healthy. How about what actually Hicks had a little update today the offense is healthy though Yeah, and it's it's a little bit of a funky lineup But I think you and you and I actually kind of like this kind of lineup because there there's a little more balance throughout I think I'm sure there's a couple 16 year olds at home saying why is Brett Garger batting before Glaber Torres? But it stretches out the lineup. I've something so What do you have to say James with the 11 or 3rd or 12 guys? We have on the offense right now Right. I'm not including Romain. So I think there's 13 hitters the 12 of them if You complain right now about what order they're in Go to your bathroom Take a look at yourself in the mirror and knock yourself out Because you are a person that just lives to complain and no one likes you There's there's there's There's judge. There's Gary. There's Stan There's Edwin. There's DD. There's Voight. There's DJ Cameron Maven. Who's a god right now?  What are they hidden? Yeah, I think the only thing that some people would be mad at is that boy and DJ are sitting today with Hicks getting his injury Thing figured out which people don't mind right now. You don't hear a lot of people saying hey Why is Gardi playing? Which I think is kind of funny, but uh, yeah, you know in theory.  Yeah, and when you'll you'll appreciate it if we do good things in October James Down the lineup today Aaron judge leading off and right field Only to lead them's Gary Sanchez second catching DD group Gregorius is your short staff Jim Carlos standing will DH today with Edwin at first base batting fifth Gardi center field in that sixth slot between Edwin and Granaceon and Glaber Torres You can't tell for my voice. I enjoy that Glaber at second Gio Urchella at third and Cameron I survived Maven in left field Cameron Maven In his last 11 games, what do you guess? What would you guess his batting averages in his last 11 games? 42 played appearances Cameron Maven 42 played appearances. I'm going 393 400 even Anzi knows it 429 on base percentage 1.204 Ops for home runs three doubles is God right now It's insane. He um It's it's the rule of baseball if you play well enough You will stay on a baseball team. I think some people might say well Clint Frazier was saying the bat Well, yeah, but he couldn't help in every aspect of the game and Cameron Maven is By the way, Clint with a moonshot the other day that was cool But uh, yeah, I mean ride this Cameron Maven thing out I still think there might be a day and in August when we look back and be like how nuts was that? There's also a chance as I've been giving you credit for mentioning first I don't know if you want me to slow down on it Maybe somehow Cameron Maven drags this whole damn thing out and boy Would he be an asset in a playoff series to pinch run and play defense? Yeah, we're a while from that All right, let's do Brett Gardner now last 11 games Brett Gardner last 11 games. What would you guess his batting averages? 375 344 what do you think is on base? What do you think is on base percentages last 11 games for 69 462 How about that one point one four nine OPS will Brett Gardner and Cameron Maven keep this up?  Yes. Yes, did you have any qualms with them hitting in this lineup? No, can DJ and Voight afford to take a breather when you have your guys who are other guys playing out of their shoes Like because these guys are so hot we can rest DJ and Voight for one game. It doesn't matter You know what Jim? Sometimes there's bigger things in life. Sometimes there's bigger things in baseball and one of them I'll just mention briefly because it just came across my screen. You Darvish is currently two for two off Jason Vargas today So Vargas have August Who are you? I don't know you That's that's a little inside joke the Mets have a new pitching coach who's 82 years old and it's just kind of an easy Target for us right now, but James I'll jump over to the Houston side briefly.  We try to do a pregame show here release your lineup in a timely manner, please Yeah, I'll give Lineups comm has an educated guess with their lineups first left. That's a real website Yeah, I got really excited when I saw line up dot com line ups dot com They're they're assuming that Bregman will move to third today Brantley DH Altuve at second Gurriel at first Jordan Alvarez in left Chorinos catching Josh reddick in right Jack Mayfield Jumping in at shortstop because he's a righty and Jake Marisnik The right-handed hang center fielder We'll see how much of an educated guess that is the the longer the show goes on maybe there's a better chance It actually pops up, but I I would assume that's pretty close to what what Houston would be rolling out today Houston They got to get some fight in them. I mean they lost a game with Nester and Hale throw a majority of the innings Yeah, Jimmy and I I think well, hey, you know what maybe they bounce back today And we still got three games in the set last night. Oh, I'm not like I'm still You there Yeah, oh, I'm not like trying to like diss them I'm just saying like I expect the dam to like come unplugged at some point because they're like brutal right now And they're not well, and we'll see if my theory is right Jim, but I mentioned it with the Tampa Bay rays I think we saw them at the right time. We got energy from Edwin and G coming back Judge coming back today. I think what we don't appreciate about that injury time And maybe maybe look back to 2018 to appreciate it when the injuries happen In the season they cannot the wind out of your sails, especially when you're going on a grueling road trip Which the rays in houston are going on and I mean no george springer. No carlos korea. No mccullors no mcq Um no max tassie. So they're they're missing some big parts of their team, which you lose a couple games They got swept by sincey coming in I mean that can that can start to wear on you as a team So it'll be interesting to see if they bounce back if they fight or if this is going to be a part of their season They look back on and be like holy smokes. We were playing jack mayfield at short short stop Um and the yanky know that feeling Yeah, and I think that's jimmy. I said it coming into the series and I'm not I won't fully peacock about it But I think it's funny that when the Yankees went to houston. We were down and out on our on our kind of emotions I think while they're here they're going to be a little down and out and if we do meet them in the post season People are going to be like looking back to these games to pick things up and if you're a real fan You'll know like these aren't the same. Yeah, never met at full strength yet. That'd be interesting. Well, they do have Yeah, you just said the word peacock they got brad peacock going he's having a pretty decent year He's having a pretty decent year jake. He has a um Oh, this is his numbers versus them, but I think it's a three six or three seven era. I had it in front of me I don't But he's having a pretty decent year his last couple games haven't been That great foreign runs foreign runs and then so his last two games foreign runs each um and only he hasn't broken a hundred pitches and his last Seven games or so and we got to the bullpen early yesterday. So I'm guessing they would really like him to go Max out which I looks like it's not even a 100 pitches So that takes Yeah, right. We want to keep in the game. Well, uh, we'll see what peacock. He is having a really nice year three six seven era um 76 innings pitch a three eight five fit if you're into that kind of thing a little whip if you're into that kind of thing um, so yeah, we'll we'll see what peacocks got tonight. Um And jimmy on on the mound for the yankees. It's your buddy the big maple eight Hold up peacock has faced a lot of these yankees uh before And edwin has a home run off him before and judge and gary and those are guys He's gonna face right away. They all have home runs off of him But there's not a lot of at bats camera maven two for six Nothing put stock in it, but I like looking at home runs camera maven with a double gd with a double kentress morales Still on team. How about that? Anyway, we have paxton going The yankees are throwing james paxton who has now had two good starts in a row. No one one one Um, he's currently on a one game good start One game eater and jim. I think the bigger thing to take away is that from from the last paxton start We saw him come out and he was still you saw 94 on the gun with the fastball and you're kind of like what? Um, but then as the game went on we saw 96 we saw him touch 97 Which is a really good sign. I don't know if it was mechanics or the body feeling good or a little column a Little column b, but it was good to see that james paxton again and his uh, I mean off of that His breaking ball was dirty. Um the early innings when his fastball wasn't there. He was just Throwing some nice breaking balls. So, um, it'll be interesting to see I'll say this I don't think like you and I there was a while there when paxton got hot that we had blind confidence in him We're not there right now. Um Like if he if he had a poor start today, like we want to be shocked like he hasn't looked like that dominant james paxton Um, if he if he threw that today, I'd be back to being confident in him though He has a history with the astros because he was in the same division for a while and all his numbers were great He had the like they were the he had the best numbers versus the astros any team But his last start he got rocked for five earned runs when we went to houston Which was bad. They thought he was tipping pitches. Remember Right. Was was that the bell tran times? That was the bell tran times bell tran told Told paxton you're tipping your pitches with a runner on second His hand was higher Or no, he was just literally showing them his fingers. I think yeah so I guess that's something to look for is he tipping his pitches. Are they gonna be Are they gonna be spitting out on the breaking balls and hammering all the fastballs? but yeah, there is a good amount of history and Altuve has two home runs versus paxton. I think they were in the last game, right? I think they were in that game Altuve was just going crazy. George springer isn't playing so that but he has really good numbers There's a lot of really good numbers versus paxton out of this houston team. So It'll be tricky. He's in the stadium now. It's not in houston. We'll see how it goes Path to victory jake. We used some bullpen yesterday. We did So what do you what do you think it is? um, I think auto's available Paxton for nine. Um, yeah, no, I think out out of vino has kainley gone back to back days now Or did he throw a lot of pitches last night?   Um, that was a tough joke. Um, chad pitch 33 He's out nester literally off the team kainley only through 15 last night Hale through 65.  So yeah, so I think everyone is available jim So I think I think with paxton you still expect a semi impressive performance and anything below six innings Um, would be slightly disappointing But again, if they have to if he gets through five and then kainley has to hop in mid inning or something like that I mean you can still do that tonight Yeah, what is your what to watch for? Jimmy my what to watch for as you well know, uh, I am in lost vegas right now A city that you would assume I'd like for the obvious reasons, which is pretty true like placing a bet The cool thing I tell about vegas that I think anyone could get behind is there's just a positive energy in lost vegas Everyone is there for a good time. There's almost like a freshman year of college vibe Like you never know who you're going to place a friend bet with on the roulette table or who you're going to see at the pool later Or whatever it is. Um, jimmy you want to talk about energy? How about yankee stadium tonight? It's gonna be palpable Aaron judge back in the stands. We're playing houston. The team is playing great ball Um, I mean a good inning by paxton and then judge at the dish that place is going to be going nuts in the first inning And as we mentioned the momentum with houston, um, where they're at and where the yankees are at I mean if the yankees score first in this game, I mean, it's it's almost as good as dawn I don't want to peacock too much because oh brad peacock But uh, and you know again, like we said paxton hasn't been paxton paxton. So Um, but I don't know jim. I think the place is just going to be an electric factory I think it's going to be the bronx zoo Especially if we put A couple early runs up and we have like a 2-0 or a 3-0 lead.  We can't deflate the balloon before judge gets to the plate That's jim. That's actually huge and paxton struggles in the first inning. I was just going to say that paxton um That's Last season we saw it coming in with last year stats and this season the first inning has been tough And I mean, you know, this is kind of the baseball obvious stuff But you know the astros are missing a few guys, but that first inning you're going to see bregman brantley out to vey Um, so yeah, I the maybe the first paxton's first inning should be the what to watch for It's if there's a if there if he has a One two three inning and then judges lead off the energy will be so big That'll be an awesome time if he can deflate it the energy is still going to be there But yeah, it's that kind of on paxton to not let the judge moment get ruined So I like that my what to watch for jake. I had so many there's so many fun storylines right now Like obviously it's judge It's gary steedy. I kind of told you stan was going to have a day yesterday without a home run. He had three hits on the day paxton's there My what who has first pick in the homer draft? I do uh, you do because you baited me into you baited me into g yesterday I baited you into stan. I took gary. I got it. Yeah, okay So my what to watch for today is deedy gregarious deedy came off the dl And he was hot as a rocket with his bat his first What is his first seven games? He had a 385 batting average with uh, uh 10 hits His last three games 0 for 4 0 for 4 0 for 4. Okay, not that great You know what they did to spark deedy They put him in between Judge and gary ahead of him then deedy then stan and edwin behind him He is going to get so many fastballs He's protected by stan and edwin deedy's gonna take a ball into the right field seats today and say I'm still here guys. He's gonna get pitches to hit It's I really like that move by boon putting him in between all those guys to to spark him to give him balls in the zone So I expect uh deedy to go deep tonight and have a good game Yeah, and jim I I I really like that a lot.  Let's be honest. Yeah deedy deedy wants to be in that three spot and he's there today Um, and yeah, I I mean that's a great call Yeah, all right, so that's so homer draft. It's the homer draft homer draft. It's the homer draft I get first pick clearly. I'm taking deedy It's uh, it's a great pick. Um jim Call me old fashioned man Give me edwin and crenaceon. Um back to back days I I mean he looks hot jim. He's having an incredible season Edwin and crenaceon is on pace for like a i-40s home run season We got him for a 19 year old that we traded for for a guy who's out of the league Um, that's insane. Um, and then jim, you know what? Let's uh, let's throw salt in the wound Let's go guardie back to back in the lineup today not taking judge, huh? No, don't think he's gonna do it first game back Six walks today. I'm not. Oh, wow. Oh for oh it's six walks. All right. I am taking stanton Got three hits yesterday started heating up Now comes the home run. I got DD. Wow. Nobody taking judge for fools Not judge is gonna have a double to lead off the game Then he's gonna like take it easy. Maybe a walk Strike out maybe another strike out one for two one for three Double two k's and a walk Will be good All right, or that oh for oh with six walks. You were talking about. Yeah, that's what I mentioned Um, why'd you take gardener? Dude, you said the stats. He's he's been hot lately. Um, yes And we're we're at the short porch at the stadium. That's where that's where he likes to hit him Um hitting five hole like he know how tall he's walking around the dugout today hitting between Was it edwin in labor the two guys Or edwin didn't go or edwin went yard yesterday, right? Yeah Yeah hitting between two guys that hit home runs yesterday. I guard. He's walking tall Uh, what is the over under I got it, right? I got it correct yesterday. You know I had the over and I bailed just because I I thought chat and nester would have it and they did till that Rain delay, but you know, I have the numbers so wrong because currently it says my record is 20 and 20 And yours is 22 and 20, but we've made the same amount of picks. So shrug no idea shrug um shrug Paxton versus peacock with this yankees lineup and a and a slumping houston lineup. I think it's going to be nine and a half And jim I have the houston lineup real quick bregman. It's short brantley and right al tuve second alvarez D h'ing again gruel at third charinos catching jake white at first mariznik at center and mild straw in left So we're not seeing that that other bum it shorts up, but we do get to see the mild straw show Um way different than the crazy straws these straws are just mild. These are just mild straws. Um ash finkter says what? What what was your guess for the over umber nine and a half? Nine and a half. Um, why can't I find the yankees game? Here it is. Um paxton, uh, let's go nine Nine and a half. Yeah, it was it was the right play Yeah, I'm gonna go over Yeah, might as well feed off that energy, baby Right. All right. We're both going over. Let's go to the chat. We did have someone We did have a big shout out to rich russo Rich all right use that new super chat donated to the car That donated to the cause Wow, thanks rich russo first one ever. Yeah, that's cool. I don't really know what this is about I we turned it on but um, I don't know how much we owe rich russo now, but I really appreciate it. Thanks lifetime of love. I think full lifetime of love. Thank you very much All right. Um, let's see.  I am not So, but what's it like?  Honestly, it's pretty good, right? You've gotten 40 years of good quarterback play now. Um, or it'll end up being 40 years Um, I think it is tough They've been in a little bit like we're elite because we have erin rogers But like they kind of haven't been an elite for a little while now Yeah, ever since cappernick broke them second city saint 52 says what are we doing for the 100k celebration? No idea but youtube sends like a plaque jake. I don't know if it's douchey to like put it behind me like no It's not It is it is. Okay, then I won't maybe for a little bit Uh, I don't know the rules. I don't know what you should do You should have katie draw a picture of the plaque and put it on the whiteboard That's someone asked. What's the thing behind you in your hotel room? Is that just a weird lamp? Yeah, that's a weird lamp That's a weird lamp. Why don't you go turn it on? Okay, brb. Let's see if I know how to this could get ugly quick. Yeah, you're pretty god the one day. I'm wearing shorts Here he goes turning on the lamp jakes turning on the lamp a breakdown Uh, just sliding up and down. They can't even see you. They can only see me I wonder if I can present them to you. There you go. It was a kick. It was a kick button Oh nice. Okay, uh, how will Bregman do I think is the question probably good.  It's pretty awesome. Awesome Uh Did you hear francesa gone for over an hour on that topic? No I don't know what the topic was Ha lamps Who's better chevus or vlad junior right now it's chevus, right? Like like ceiling still probably vlad junior, but I mean easily vlad junior and I think vlad junior got off to an awful start and now he's been uh He's been doing good things. Um So yeah, I mean if you're if you're in it for the long run still easily vlad chevus has been nice though And I mean he not in a rude way, but he has the boston look to him Um that he can be beloved in that city for a long time if he's good Um Why is alvarez guy so good though? He's good. I mean he was a top 50 prospect. He's he's a big boy and um I don't know man. Uh jim. This has kind of been one of my go-to statements But the two teams that have been clearly doing things right lately in the al I mean don't get me the wrong the red sox had a great season. So they did stuff right too, but I mean The astros and the yankees the the brantley lamehu signings. They just seem to pull more and more young guys up Um, those two organizations are doing it right in the al Yeah, so i'm gonna ask what the 45 on my hat stands for luke voigt Louis linwood voigt if you could pick one player from any movie to be on the yankees Who would it be? henry groen gardener We need pitching. We really need pitching. So or steve nebraska Basically the american uh, otani Well, steve nebraska american wasn't he from like some weird country? I think I think uh, I'm going I'm going john c. Riley catching in that kim cosner movie, which we basically have That's basically what romain is just the um In vlad jr's last 34 games Um 281 350 obp 857 obs so he's he's getting there Why not over a month? Why not bet on sanchez for a home run? I couldn't take sanchez because I took him yesterday. So that means I can't take him today jake could have I guess he's saving him and if you're talking vegas rules I am I get really nervous if I don't know how to place the bet Um, like I'm not going to walk up there and be like can how do I bet gary sanchez hitting a home run?  So I think he's talking about the homer track Well, you can bet that in real life too. There's a we got a ton of tweets about that yesterday Tom davis is why are you weird with self promotion? Why are you weird with self promotion tom davis? I don't know how to I don't know what that question. I don't know. I don't know which side of the You've answered it perfectly. I don't know which side of the scale. He says I'm I'm hot. That's maybe maybe I'm being weird now If you could pick one good player we already did that Oh, shit.  No, and I I mean I I'm so biased, but I would I mean it's the first time we have judge gary edwin stannell on the same lineup I would just say no, uh Is bright sarp or the best player ever? No, he's not even the best player in his generation um Is kykel making his debut today jake Kykel's making his first start today. I bet on him. Oh, that's cool. I like that Yeah, and the braves are playing really good baseball and they're facing strawsberg and the gnats And I was just like I think that brave theme is just gonna have a lot of energy Even if kykel's not special like getting kykel donaldson's last seven games have been nuts talking baseball Yeah, some guy said real mudo is the best catcher in baseball It's I feel bad that they're gonna have to like still fight that fight Yeah, like no one no one's fighting you because it's not even a discussion.  Basically i'm standing in the pouring rain and you're like It's sunny out right now.  It's very clearly raining but All right. That's the end of the pregame show jake's gonna go enjoy vegas.  I have the footage already so i'm gonna go I'm gonna go grab that and try to make that and uh, I think that's it See you guys later If you're not a yankees fan and you've been watching these pregame shows We really appreciate it after the all-star game talking mlb podcasting jake and I Not fully yankees all teams all divisions trades. It'll be coming after the all-star break. So we hope you guys are excited. See you


Hello there everyone and welcome. This is Melissa Arma with the Sock Swoosh and welcome to Earning Season. Earning Season starts this week. It's the last Earning Season for 2022. I cannot believe how fast this year has flown by but it has and it's one of those things where you've got to grab life and live it. So right now I'm doing an Earning Season Golden Gout Course special. There's only three more classes this year. If you want to learn, if you want to join, this is a great time to do it. The class is October 22nd and 23rd and Earning Season begins this week on Thursday, October 13th. So you can start right away. What am I offering? I'm offering one-year freeing the live trading room if you sign up for the Golden Gout Course and again you must sign up by this Friday October 14th. It's a great time to train specifically the method that I do which is based on gaps. If you have questions you can always call me. If you get my voicemail, leave a message. I'll call you back. It's 929-3200 Gap. You can also email me at MelissaTheStockSwish.com. You can follow me on Twitter, Facebook, YouTube or Skype. So as I said, it's Earning Season. What does that mean? For those of you that are novices out there, novice traders are just not used to following what Earning Season is, it's a time when companies report what's going to happen. Again, we don't look at fundamentals but we look at how the companies react after the reports and they talk about projections for next quarter, next year, also what happened in the prior quarter and again these are their earnings, the company earnings results. We don't play into the earnings most of the time. We usually wait for the earnings to report and then we see it and then I rate the gap and this is what you learn to do in the class and we determine if we're going to go longer, shorter, do nothing based on the gap itself. So there are a lot of gaps during Earning Season which makes it a good and profitable time to trade. So this is the time to trade. This is the time to make the money. So I'm offering a special for Earning Season. Again, this is going on through Friday, October 14th. One week before the class you can join, sign up and then you can get in the room and start trading. The live room is open at 9 a.m. Eastern time and again we usually trade between 9.30 and 10 a.m. Eastern time. You will get the trading room free for one year if you sign up for this. The golden gap course is $69.99. Everyone pays the same price. The class dates are October 22nd and 23rd, 9 to 5. Someone emailed me about, do I always do it a Saturday and Sunday? Yes, why? Because I'm trading during the week. I have the room during the week. So money through Friday I cannot be teaching classes that go on for eight hours a day. One of them would be too exhausting and two, we have to trade in the morning. We'd go into 7 o'clock, 8 o'clock at night and that's just too much. So we have to do the class which is again a full-on class all day Saturday and Sunday with a one-hour break for lunch both days. We have to do it in the weekends. So you have to book your time, schedule your time to take a weekend and focus on learning. So this special is a great deal. If you want to get in and jump in and start trading right away, the special ends Friday, October 14th. Email me at Melissa, thestockswish.com. If you are interested in signing up, you must email me for the sign up forms to join. Now again, what are you going to learn in the class? You're going to learn how to rate the gap. This was Adobe. Stock closed your gap down. This was an earnings gap. We did it and actually again, you see it closed up here around 3.70, open in the morning here around 3.20. This was a short. We shorted it. We did an option put. We did a short as a day trade and it worked. Dropped in here, fell through, broke 300 in the week after the earnings. Quite a move for Adobe and again, I do like to short. The class is on shorting. We're learning how to short. I teach the entries in the class and I teach the 26 point rating system, which is how I make the picks like Adobe or anything else that we may do. It's all about chunking it out. Today, we did the market, we shorted the market, we got it and we got out. Fast moves, quick moves. And again, you'll get the calls and the live trading room. For those of you that are doing all kinds of different things to try to find ways to really make extra money during what's happening in the economy right now, people are finally coming to the realization that we could be going into recession next year or that we are in one. Again, there's conflicting opinions about that, but we all know we're ready in a period of inflation because things are just costing more. And when I go to a store, I know they cost more than what they're even reporting the number to be. Some prices of some products that I've gone to shop at Whole Foods, for example, are 100% tire and price. It's almost like every time I go to the store, everything costs more that I normally get than the week before. And I really don't have room to hoard in my refrigerator or even in my cabinets. I just don't have the space here in my apartment in New York City. But I mean, you could stock up and stuff right now because prices are going to continue to rise. So if you're looking for a way to curb what we're dealing with right now with the economy, which is nobody's fault, not yours, not anybody's at all. It's just the way of the world and the sign of the times. You've got to make extra money, take it upon yourself to learn to do something different, which is trade. Trading again while there's an upfront investment for my class, and then obviously to open a trading account because you must risk money to train will pay off for you in the end, in the long run. And so the sooner you jump in, the sooner you're going to be where you want to be. Again, there's plenty of time left in this calendar year to actually do well trading and make money in the live room. So a lot of people are out there trying to look for ideas and really getting beaten up this year in the market. Do not drown by taking ideas based off of people that are strangers where you don't understand their strategy or systems or they may not even have one at all. People are taking pot shops at trading, people are buying the dips every way which way but loose and it's just not working. You can't short everything in the market even though we're falling and you can't go long every time that we bought them out or we look like we're going to bottom out. You must look for selective things and that's what you're going to learn in the class, how to pick the right pick like Adobe. So this was an option that we did beautiful trade. Again, I called the 300 puts on the day that this gap down. It was so far away from the strike. It was a great call. Great call to see what even go there. I called it at 9.52 in the morning. This trade was sent to the newsletter list and again I called this very early when it was like $20 away from the strike. It was just a huge call. Great call and a great eye but I rated the gap. This is what you're going to learn in the class. You're going to learn how to rate it to know that it will fall before it falls into that number. Do you follow me? Because that's how you make the money. It's all momentum trading. Momentum trading based on the gap and again I have two webinars coming up this week on Thursday. It's all about the power of the gap. Harnessing the power of the gap to get the momentum to get the play to make the money. So the cost for this particular option was $3. Number of contracts was 25. Risk was 7,500 sold 1150. You could have got a better price on this. Again, you could have held it. It kept going. It broke 300. Went all the way down. Profit was 21,250 or 283% return of investment for this particular trade and again if you wanted to risk a smaller risk, four contracts of 1200 profit 3400. Great trade. Huge trade no matter where you got in, got out. Everybody made money. It worked but the live room and being able to be in the live room for one year and get online market analysis in the morning every day live. The trade calls live is so huge, so huge and again you can get this free if you want to sign up ahead for the Golden Gap course which is the week of the 22nd, 23rd but you've got to sign up for this special by this Friday the 14th. Think about what I said about the idea of working for yourself even if it's on the sign because you've got to get somewhere with your life and the only person that's going to make that happen is you. I'm here to teach people and I'm here to support people in that process but it is up to you to make the decision to jump in and take the leap and take the risk. What you would learn is the process I go through each and every morning which is the Golden Gap checklist and I rate the gap go through all the 26 points to determine if I want to do a stock for example like Adobe. I'm looking for the best one to do every single solitary day. So again the class is called the Golden Gap course. This is where you will learn my rating method, the entries and the exits and how I make the picks. The class is October 22nd and 23rd 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Eastern time. Class tuition is $69.99. Class is online. It could be anywhere in the world and take it and again if you want to sign up and receive this special do not delay. You could start trading in the room if you sign up today by tomorrow. I mean today was a great day. We made money today. I've been on a role here. It's been a great year to trade if you know how to trade it if you're on the right side and again I stress to people you cannot buy every dip and I also stress to people you can't short everything either. Okay there are days we go long and short. So 2022 isn't over yet. You can still get somewhere with your trading. Don't give up. Do not give up. It's one of these things where if you want to take the bull by the horns in life and you're trading you can move forward. Do not give up if you've not had a go to your trading and if you've never traded before and you've been thinking about trading you still have time to jump in learn and start trading. You've got plenty of time left in the year. Don't delay. Again only three more Goldman Gap courses this year. You can sign up. Join for October. Get in. Get this special and get going this week. Email me at melissathestalksquish.com if you have any questions. Have a great day everyone.


Delegates arrived for Day 2 of the AI for Good Global Summit ready for a hard day's work. The co-organizers ITU and the XPRIZE Foundation were counting on them to focus on solutions with specially prepared panel groups. If Day 1 was really focused in this room with the plenary session looking at the global approach to AI, Day 2 is really about solutions in special breakthrough sessions. The breakthrough sessions or workshops are taking place in much smaller groups like this one. And they're focused on solutions using AI. The issues they're looking at could be for example ethics or privacy or even poverty reduction. UNICEF highlighted there are 55 million children in danger of violence in lawless environments and 500 million facing malnutrition. The situation may be alarming but isn't hopeless if big business can share big data and work with them. How do we create algorithmic equity in our discussions with Facebook and Google and IBM and these other big tech partners who want to make money but also want to do good? How do we create a world of fairness in our negotiations and how do we understand our position which is small in a post-sovereign environment? What happens when robots are developed that are in fact more intelligent than humans and can make their own decisions? Fiction? Not anymore. And that requires global oversight to ensure robots are programmed to be a force for good. We already know that for example in Go or Chess they can look further ahead into the future than we can. So now you have something that knows more than we do that looks further into the future than we can. It's hard to see how you'd be able to outplay a machine like that so the only alternative is to make sure that it's on your side that you're not actually competing with it because it has some other objective to make sure that it really understands what your objectives are and only wants to help you with those objectives so that's how we approach the problem. Others at the summit believe we may be getting a little carried away but AI may promise great change in the future but there's still room for innovation now. If all we want AI to do is to help target advertisements then we're done, hooray. Google does that. But if we want AI to really help mankind in significant ways like helping us solve disease we're going to need to take it to the next level to have AI systems that can really read the scientific literature, integrate what they read, help decide what the next experiment should be and so forth and we're not there yet and so I don't want us to kind of rest and say oh we did so well in the last few years, we're done. I want us to say how do we take it to the next level? Meet Sophia with natural facial expressions and capable of making intelligent conversation and companionship. It's bringing the convergence of human beings and technology ever closer. Robots can do things that people can't do in various settings. So for example, a human-like robot like what we're developing with Sophia can serve in medical training. There just aren't enough people around that are qualified to do medical training. Her creators say within a decade living robots sharing our lives will be here. We just have to work out what kind of relationship we want.


Stevenson opens Matt Commonwealth play with a 2-1 win over Eastern today, Glenn Clark with head coach Graham Miller. Coach, have you thought about maybe like having the scoreboard say you're down 1-0 when the game starts to try to get your guys to play like that? I think you're right. I think you're right. I mean, that's what we just talked about at halftime.  Maybe the mental image will get them going from the start. Unbelievable. It does. I know we've talked about it before, but there is something to be said. The resilience of this group, that every time they're backs against the wall, I know you would have liked to have turned a few more of them into Ws earlier in the year, but that they continue to respond to adversity and show up and play really hard.  Yeah, and that's exactly it. I mean, I don't worry if we go a goal down. I hate going a goal down, but this group is a special group. They've been able to fight back all season when we've been down, especially, you know, in some games where we've been down by two goals. So the fact is we stayed in it, wasn't happy at all with the first half performance, and it was a tail of two halves, Glenn. That second half was exactly the way we should be playing for 90 minutes. The urgency, the passion, the playing for the badge, and two lovely goals from everything we've been working on the last few days. The corners, obviously, producing those two goals, right? Let's start with the first one in Saul. Just, you know, getting in there, continuing to battle after the ball and stick your foot at it and see it make something good happen. Well, we actually do that drill a lot. So we just did it yesterday, actually, we do it. So we do a lot of stuff on corners and a lot of those ones where the ball does drop. And so we practiced that to be ready for that little ping ball and it couldn't have fallen to a probably a more smoother player that is more composed than Marv. And obviously, even with the mask on, it was a nice finish. And then how about Logan getting that moment, like sticking himself up in there, staying in. You know, especially as the ball started heading the other way for him to retreat, get back into position. There was so much good involved with that. Yeah, I mean, that's a strikers finish right there.  So we call him Harry McGuire, unfortunately, because Harry's not playing well. So that was a good way for Harry to put the ball in the back. And then he came in, you know, first half and we didn't feel we were winning balls in the air. And he just, you know, Logan as a senior really just took over there in that game and just a great, great for him to get his first goal and what a finish. Like I said, Strikers finished really happy for him. You talked about this being the start of a new season. How good do you feel about getting the win, the open conference play, kind of erasing some of the tough results that you had early on in the year and putting your head forward now moving forward in the conference? Yeah, the only record we're worried about now is that conference record. So we want to know and that's where we want it to be after today. You know, this conference is a real tough conference. It's going to be a battle every single game. And I always tell the guys, you got to win your four home games. If you can win your four home games, it gives you that opportunity to be in the playoffs. And the fact is, you know, that second half, you know, showed how important it was to win today. And I'm really, really happy that we produced what we can do, especially on a wet day like this and being off our grass. And it was just a great second half to be able to get that first conference win. Coach, congratulations. Thanks as always for taking the time. Always appreciated, Glenn. I'm Glenn Clark. Go Mustang Sports.com.


Okay, Matthew, for posterity I'm very left-wing. I'm curious, how you can be so anti-war, anti-WAF, anti-censorship, etc., yet your criticism never extends to the root of all these evils, which is undoubtedly capitalism. I don't agree with capitalism, Matthew. I disagree. There was a time where I didn't think that, but I looked into this stuff, right? I looked into this stuff and I went, okay, this is not capitalism that is taking place. This is centralization that's taking place. Now, one thing, Matthew, you have to consider. Are you referring to capitalism as free market economy? Is that what you're referring to? Because free market economy is anti-war, anti-world economic forum, anti-censorship, okay? It is complete human freedom. So for me, I support free market economy. We need to decentralize everything because now we know, right? Let's say this was an experiment to centralize power, to see if we can get a, you know, do better for humanity and the world, glow in general. But what it's proven is that centralizing power makes it too easy to corrupt, right? That is the problem that we are facing right now. It's not capitalism, okay? It's centralized power. Now the problem with our political systems right now is socialism, communism, totalitarianism, fascism, capitalism in large part Western style right now has been geared towards centralization of power, capital as power. We need to destroy that. We need to destroy that, okay? We need to tear that apart, build local economies, have free market everywhere, and the free market doesn't mean free market your choice to trade whatever you want, but in this currency. Free market means me and you individually can decide what we want to trade and for what we want to trade it for, right? It's like an anime. I forget this anime that I watched. Someone recommended it. It was fantastic anime by the way. It had a lot of economics in it, okay? And it was about, it was a world where there was a lot of different currencies and the currencies fluctuated and it was a guy that traveled from one town to another. He was a trade, what do you call it, merchant and he was trading different things in different currencies just trying to you know build his wealth. That's where we need to be. We need to be able to trade in any currency we want, any which way we want really. We shouldn't have to go through banks. We shouldn't have, we should have complete anonymity and privacy, okay? Which is something that none of these centralized power was want for us. They want complete transparency of everything we do, but they want complete secrecy of everything they do, right? That is, that is totalitarianism no matter how you look at it, right? That is, that is enslavement of humanity.


Hey there friends how's it going quick note before we start I posted a video over on the second channel today just two hours ago I think it's really good. Honestly, it probably should have gone up on this channel I think it turned out really funny, but yeah, I've linked to that is in the description now without further ado on to past Kevin Enjoy the video. Hey there friends how's it going? My name is Kevin and welcome to another episode of Kevin doesn't know what he's doing I am playing speed spelunk spelunk II welcome to another episode of Kevin doesn't know what he's reading I'm playing spelunk II and I've never played spelunk II one, but I'm assuming with my big gamer brain I should be able to figure it out. So let's get started It's really starting to hurt I choose an adventure do I want to be in a Margaret colon or a furry I'm gonna be Colin. Okay, Colin has a whip He's also into some kinky stuff when I say also I mean him and the furry not me wow It's been 15 years since my last entry so much has happened blah blah blah Tina. I became parents. We named her daughter. Hey Is this about a different kid then like I'm Colin. What about poor Colin over here?  I was sure I saw blood actually Colin no run oh my god Poor Colin all right Colin let's go into this narrow path where we'll read someone else's diary about their child in this cave You're not going to cross great Colin if I'm gonna be honest with you Sorry if you can hear that noise must be bees I imagine oh No, I hit the bug.  Oh my god. Everyone's gonna hate me This is the part where everyone leaves the channel. How do I pick up the key? Okay, just edit that part out where I was smacking the dog into the middle of the screen Don't don't include that in the video best part about me you too, but I can edit out all my flaws Let's just go before I drop the key by accident again Colin's look he's always just looking up in the sky. He's the only person that you'd ask. Oh, what's your good side? He'd go This game is charming. It is nice and relaxing. I'm loving it What was that? How do I hurt myself?  I'm gonna end up killing myself. I just I want to get in here. Hold on right I think it was like this. Yeah, and then run away Perfect, I want the treasure. All right, Colin be ready treasure comes in many different forms This could be the love of your life. So be your best you. All right, you're ready to flatter her. Here we go Oh, it was the real love of my life money Oh no, oh no, oh no Colin died and I think I just found a relative of his he was just underneath me there All right, Colin, let's try this again. Colin is having a tough life No wonder he looks so sad. Come on Colin chin up. Let's do this Okay, so these are just fists that come out to punch Colin in the face I've never seen someone so eager to die He just got a big smile on it and ran towards it.  He's just smiling as the team beats him to death. Hey Throw a bomb on him All right, he's still happy. I'm pretty sure he's dead, but he's happy Oh, I just exposed another trap. This game is not as relaxing as I thought it would be, huh? There's a lot of traps here to try and kill me. Uh-oh, and one of the major things that's trying to kill me is myself But there are a lot of other things too, don't worry.  Oh No, oh, no. Oh Jesus man. This game is so stressful.  It looks like you got buried alive, but no he's just hiding in his hat Okay, I gotta put on my try-hard cap here because this is so difficult I thought this would be a very casual easy game, but obviously I didn't know what I was getting myself into Uh-oh. Oh, no There goes the dog. I Didn't even do that on purpose. I'm just forgetting the buttons, and then I'm like, okay, what do I do with the dog? How do I interact with him?    Okay dog share with me your wisdom, please Oh, he also puts his chin up in the air. We've more in common than I thought Ow, I don't know what to do like is there an end to this tunnel or do I just keep going?  Is it just keep going trying to get a good score? I don't know where those gaming magazines with the hotlines you can call for gamer help when you need him I can relate to those guys so much like he just woke up and eagerly trapped himself And now he's just stuck there for the rest of his life. We behave in the same manner. Okay, a door Do I go through here? Okay, perfect. Yes a level completed. This is what it feels like Okay, there's a weird dude over here. Let's go talk to him. I'm looking for turkeys I think you might be in the wrong place. Oh wait, actually. No, you you were correct All right, let me see if I can I can hit him. I guess god.  I need you wasn't happy All right now I gotta go back Okay speedrun speedrun speedrun everything just just ignore everything. I just I need to get out of here Oh god, those are probably the bones of all previous colons. I've played as Yes speedrun. Okay. Awesome. I got out of there in 26 seconds. I just ran through Okay, at least I'm getting used to some of the traps and what to keep an eye out for now I was completely confused earlier a key golden key. I can't remember how to pick things up All I know is it's not b because that drops a bomb down an x is how you pick it up. Good to know Oh, there's dung beetles and I I don't know why what are they gonna do to me? Oh All right, I found the key to everything just throw keys at them. Oh my god. Why does that man have a shotgun? I kind of gotta know do I have enough bombs to get through there? There's a shop with the guy's twin. Oh my god, which one's the evil one? I gotta know I'm coming buckary. No, don't you worry.   I would like a present, please. Thank you. I need to feel a little bit better Can I open it? What is it? Thank you. Maybe that's why he has it. What did I get? I got a paste What's him this thing? The shopkeeper just swaps the sign to close. I need my key. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on Okay, a terrible chill runs up your spine. Oh my god. What is in this paste? Oh, no. Have I taken too long? Is that the story here? Let's get out of here. Okay. I got the key at least Does the key do anything for me? I don't know. Who knows? Does the paste do anything for me? Who knows? Oh, for fact sake Even when I use the key to kill the snake, it's still hit the bug. Okay, a turkey Let's not kill it.  Colin, what are you doing to people? Okay, at least now I know how to pick things up and throw them as well Oh dear Oh my god, my dog Ah, okay, it's okay. The dog took the hit.  Okay door.  He's just threw him on the floor.   I don't know. I killed it They're having a great time Uh-oh. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, sorry guys. I just raised the roof on your party. I just realized that Sorry, the paste has now made my bombs into sticky bombs. Uh-oh. I can hear him. Where is he? Oh, he's got himself stuck Oh, okay. That's where the real party is Yes Oh god, let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. That thing is not going to be happy when I find out that I killed all its children Hello I have no bombs. Oh no. Oh no. Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. Just broke its own house Oh my god, Colin Oh, that was terrifying. Why do you keep doing this? This is your house.   I don't know what I'm doing Oh, did you see that?  Just stop talking forever. Ow.  Oh, hello a shop. I have absolutely no money I'd love the spectacles. Can I buy spectacles? Let me go get some loot. Hold on, dude Please drop the gold bear. Ow. I need spectacles. Hold on. He's still not enough I'm not even going to be able to get back up there to get the spectacles. Am I I just need money Well, I'm definitely not getting back up. Not even to get the spectacles just in general. I'm not getting back up Okay, I meant to hit the snake god animal cruelty is off the scale in this video Colin cruelty is also off the scale. Oh look a blood altar. I sacrifice myself. I mean, I've been doing that anyway I'm gonna attack the altar. Hold on. Let me just put a bomb down. This seems like a good idea if you ask me Oh the screams the terrible screams. I just impaled myself immediately Something to control of my mind. Colin says little does he know it was just me It had nothing to do with the altar. Oh another chance for spectacles. Yes Oh, there was a climbing glove. It's like little hulk gloves. Where are my spectacles? Oh, Jesus I see the little symbol up the top left. I just don't know what it does. Okay. He wants the turkey Hold on. I'll take care of this. All right gently does it There we go. Wait, is this already his maybe? Do I need to bring back a turkey form? That would make more sense I think. Hold on. Let me go look for another turkey bear in mind. I have no idea what I'm doing So I'm sorry if I'm messing this up. Ah, there's a turkey. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay. Yes, perfect Ah, oh no the turkey. Look at the little hearts going off him. Can he double jump? Okay, he can Okay, all right turkey. Look turkey. Ah, he's happy. Is that it? That that's it. You just say thank you I'm not in this for thank you. So I'm in this for money. Ow.  That is bad orangy for that npc Oh god, he rolls from the dead. I wish I could do that even make this game a lot easier Maybe those are all my previous Collins running around. Okay. Let's do one more run and try our best here I'm not gonna rush. I'm gonna take my time and face every challenge as it comes Okay, that one doesn't count. Oh, I can try and free this guy now though One more try. Honestly, those things are getting me the most the blocks. I'm not in the habit of watching for them Oh, I found something good.   Colin get up. Please. Please get up Colin Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no affect this affect this get me out of here. Get me out of here Okay, I'm dead. I'll join you.  I found something good and the game is like, all right, you found something good I'm gonna punish you for it I don't know if there's a way to avoid these arrows or not Like in this case I can go down here, but I don't know what to actually do to avoid it And like here, how do I avoid this arrow? Oh, it wasn't an arrow box. Okay, good. All right, and is this an arrow? I'll just try and no, I'm not sure how to avoid it Or anything for that matter I am getting screwed in this game Oh poor Colin, look at him. He's had such a rough run At least everything else used to be having a rough run too. Spider just got destroyed. All right I'm gonna end it there. I hope you enjoyed this video. If you're good at these games I am sorry. Okay. That was my first time playing. It reminded me a bit of binding of Isaac. Like if you don't know what's coming It's kind of hard to know what to expect because even the enemies I'd be like, oh, that's a little Sandroo thing that should be fine. I'll just go up and hit it And then it just starts flying towards me to then know what to expect But yeah, I hope you enjoyed the video. This game seems really fun I think I might actually play it a bit myself and see uh See how I can do if I can start to learn the game a bit Maybe I might stream it a little bit speaking of which my link to my twitch Is below in the description if you want to check that out I also post here every single day if you want to check out more of my stuff Please subscribe and yeah, that's about it. Appreciate you watching. I hope you enjoyed and I hope to see you next time. Bye for now