Chapter 16 and 17 of Phineas Finn—this is the LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Simon Evers. Phineas Finn by Anthony Trollop. Chapter 16 Phineas Finn Returns to Kill-A-Lay. Phineas Finn's first session of Parliament was over—his first session with all its adventures. When he got back to Mrs. Bunce's house, for Mrs. Bunce received him for a night in spite of her husband's advice to the contrary, I am afraid he almost felt that Mrs. Bunce and her rooms were beneath him. Of course he was very unhappy, as wretched as a man can be, there were moments in which he thought that it would hardly become him to live unless he could do something to prevent the marriage of Lady Laura and Mr. Kennedy. But nevertheless he had his consolations. These were reflections which had in them much of melancholy satisfaction he had not been despised by the woman to whom he had told his love. She had not shown him that she thought him to be unworthy of her. She had not regarded his love as an offence. Indeed she had almost told him that prudence alone had forbidden her to return his passion. And he had kissed her, and afterwards parted from her as a dear friend. I do not know why there should have been a flavour of exquisite joy in the midst of his agony as he thought of this, but it was so. He would never kiss her again. All future delights of that kind would belong to Mr. Kennedy, and he had no real idea of interfering with that gentleman in the fruition of his privileges. But still there was the kiss, an eternal fact. And then, in all respects except that of his love, his visit to Lachlanter had been pre-eminently successful. Mr. Monk had become his friend, and had encouraged him to speak during the next session, setting before him various models and prescribing for him a course of reading. Lord Brentford had become intimate with him. He was on pleasant terms with Mr. Palisar and Mr. Gresham. And as for Mr. Kennedy, he and Mr. Kennedy were almost bosom friends. It seemed to him that he had quite surpassed the Rattlers, Fitzgibbons and Bonteens in their politico-social success which goes so far towards downright political success, and which in itself is so pleasant. He had surpassed these men in spite of their offices and their aquire positions, and could not but think that even Mr. Lowe, if he knew it all, would confess that he had been right. As to his bosom friendship with Mr. Kennedy, that of course troubled him. Would he not to be driving upon yard into Mr. Kennedy's heart? The conventions of life forbade that, and therefore the bosom friendship was to be excused. If not an enemy to the death, then there could be no reason why he should not be a bosom friend. He went over to Ireland, staying but one night with Mrs. Bunce, and came down upon them at Killaloe like a god out of heavens. Even his father was well-nigh overwhelmed by admiration, and his mother and sisters thought themselves only fit to minister to his pleasures. He had learned, if he had learned nothing else, to look as though he were master of the circumstances around him, and was entirely free from the internal embarrassment. When his father spoke to him about his legal studies, he did not exactly laugh at his father's ignorance, but he recapitulated to his father so much of Mr. Bunce's wisdom at second hand, showing plainly that it was his business to study the arts of speech and the technicalities of the house, and not to study law, that his father had nothing further to say. He had become a man of such dimensions that an ordinary father could hardly dare to inquire into his proceedings, and as for an ordinary mother, such as Mrs. Finn certainly was, she could do no more than look after her son's linen with awe. Mary Flood-Jones, the reader I hope will not quite have forgotten Mary Flood-Jones, was in a great tremor when first she met the hero of Loc Shane after returning from the honours of his first session.  They could not imagine why Phineas had restrained himself with so much philosophy. But Miss Flood-Jones, in discussing the matter with the Miss Finns, had never expressed the slightest doubts of his capacity or his judgment. And when tidings came, the tidings came in a letter from Phineas to his father, that he did not intend to speak that session because speeches from a young member on his first session were thought to be inexpedient, Miss Flood-Jones and the Miss Finns were quite willing to accept the wisdom of this decision, much as they might regret the effect of it. Mary, when she met her hero, had hardly dared to look him in the face. But she remembered accurately all the circumstances of her last interview with him. Could it be that he wore that ringlet near his heart? Mary had received from Barbara Finns certain hairs supposed to have come from the head of Phineas, and these she always wore near her own. And moreover, since she had seen Phineas, she had refused an offer of marriage from Mr. Elias Bodkin, had refused it almost ignominiously, and when doing so had told herself that she would never be forced to Phineas Finns. We think it's so good of you to come to see us again, she said. Good to come home to my own people. Of course, you might be staying with plenty of grandees if you liked it. No, indeed, Mary, it did happen by accident that I had to go to the house of a man whom perhaps you would call a grandee, to meet grandees there. But it was only for a few days, and I am very glad to be taken in again here, I can assure you. You know how very glad we all are to have you? Are you glad to see me, Mary? Very glad. Why should I not be glad, and Barbara, the dearest friend I have in the world? Of course she talks about you, and that makes me think of you. If you knew, Mary, how often I think about you? Then Mary, who was very happy at hearing such words, and who was walking into dinner with him at the moment, could not refrain herself from pressing his arm with her little fingers. She knew that Phineas in his position could not marry at once, but she would wait for him over ever if he would only ask her. He, of course, was a wicked traitor to tell her that he was waiting to think of her. But Joe smiles at lovers' perjuries, and it is well that he should do so, as such perjuries can hardly be avoided altogether in the difficult circumstances of a successful gentleman's life. Phineas was a traitor, of course, but he was almost forced to be a traitor, by the simple fact that Lady Laura Standish was in London and Mary Flan Jones in Killlow. He remained for nearly five months at Killlow, and I doubt whether his time was altogether well spent. Some of the books recommended to him by Mr. Monkey probably did read, and was often to be found encompassed by blue books. I fear that there was a grain of pretense about his blue books and parliamentary papers, and that in these days he was, in a gentle way, something of an impostor.  A period to make any apologies, we are quite aware that we have very little to offer," said Mrs. Flood Jones, who was not altogether happy about Mary, and who perhaps knew more about members of parliament and blue books than Phineas Finn had supposed.  I don't think of him, Mama, not particularly. He is no better than anybody else that I can see, and he is beginning to give himself airs, said Mrs. Flood Jones. Mary made no answer, but she went up into her room and swore before a figure of the Virgin that she would be true to Phineas for ever and ever, in spite of her mother, in spite of all the world, in spite, should it be necessary, even of himself. About Christmas time there came a discussion between Phineas and his father about money. I hope you find you get on pretty well," said the doctor, who thought that he had been liberal. It's a tight fit, said Phineas, who is less afraid of his father than he had been when he last discussed these things. I had hoped it would have been ample, said the doctor. I don't think for a moment, sir, that I am complaining, said Phineas. I notice much more than I have a right to expect. The doctor began to make an inquiry within his own breast as to whether his son had a right to expect anything, whether time had not come in which his son should be earning his own bread. I suppose, he said after a pause, there is no chance of you doing anything at the bar now. Not immediately. It's almost impossible to combine the two studies together. Mr. Lowe himself was aware of that. But you are not to suppose that I have given the profession up. I hope not, after all the money it has cost us. By no means, sir, and all that I am doing now will I trust be of assistance to me when I shall come back to work at the law. Of course, it is on the cards that I may go to office, and if so, public business will become my profession.  Yes, that is true, sir. I must run my chance. If the worst comes to the worst, I hope I might be able to secure some permanent place. I should think that I can hardly fail to do so. But I trust I may never be driven to want it. I thought, however, that we had settled all this before. Then Phineas assumed a look of injured innocence, as though his father was driving him too hard. And in the meantime, your money has been enough? said the doctor, after a pause. I had intended to ask you to advance me a hundred pounds, said Phineas. There were expenses to which I was driven on first entering parliament. A hundred pounds? If it be inconvenient, sir, I can do without it. He had not as yet paid for his gun, or for that velvet coat in which he had been shooting almost probably for the knickerbockers. He knew he wanted the hundred pounds badly, but he felt ashamed of himself in asking for it. If he were once in office, though the office were but a sorry junior lordship, he would repay his father instantly. I shall have it, of course, to the doctor, but do not let the necessity for asking for more hundreds come off to another, and you can help. Phineas said that he would not, and then there were no further discourses about money. He'd need hard to be said that he told his father nothing of that bill which he had endorsed for Lawrence Fitzgibbon. At last came the time which called him again to London and the glories of London life, to lobbies and the clubs and the gossip of men in office, and the chance of promotion for himself, to the glare of the gas lamps, the mock anger of women, to the glare of the gas lamps, the mock anger of rival debaters, and the prospect of the speaker's wig. During the idleness of the recess he had resolved at any rate upon this, that a month of the session should not have passed by before he had been seen upon his legs in the house, had been seen and heard. And many a time as he had wandered alone with his gun across the bogs which lie on the other side of the Shannon from Killaloe, he had practised the sort of address which he would make to the house. He would be short, always short, and he would eschew all action and gesticulation. Mr. Monk had been very urgent in his instructions to him on that head, but he would be especially careful that no words should escape him which are not in them some purpose. He might be wrong in his purpose, but purpose there should be. He had been twitted more than once at Killaloe with his silence, for it had been conceived by his fellow timesmen that he had been sent to Parliament on the special ground of his eloquence. They should twit in no more on his next return. He would speak and would carry the house with him if a human effort might prevail. So he packed up his things and started again for London at the beginning of February. Goodbye, Mary, he said, with his sweetest smile. But on this occasion there was no kiss and no culling of locks. I know he cannot help it, said Mary to herself. It is his position. But whether it be for good or evil, I will be true to him. I am afraid you are unhappy, Barbara Finn said to her on the next morning. No, I am not unhappy, not at all. I have a deal to make me happy and proud. I don't mean to be a bit unhappy. Then she turned away and cried heartily. And Barbara Finn cried with her for company. Chapter 17. Phineas Finn Returns to London Phineas had received two letters during his recess as killer-lo from two women who marked him much, which, as they were both short, shall be submitted to the reader. The first was as follows. Salisbury, October 20, 1860 My dear Mr Finn, I write a line to tell you that our marriage is to be hurried on as quickly as possible. Mr Kennedy does not like to be absent from Parliament. Nor will he be content to postpone the ceremony till the session be over. The day fixed is the 3rd of December, and we will then go at once to Rome, and tend to be back in London by the opening of Parliament. Yours most sincerely, Laura Standish. Our London address will be No. 52, Grovener Place. To this he wrote an answer as short, expressing his ardent wishes that those winter hymenials might produce nothing but happiness, and saying that he would not be in time many days before he knocked on the door of No. 52, Grovener Place. And the second letter was as follows. Great Maulba Street, December 1860 Dear and honoured Sir, Bunce is getting ever so anxious about the rooms, and says as how he has a young, equity-drassman and wife and babies would take the whole house, and all because Miss Pounceford said a word about her port wine, which any lady of her age might say in her tantrums and mean nothing after all. Me and Miss Pounceford's knowed each other seven years, and what's a word to his isn't meant after that. But honoured Sir, it's not about that as I write to trouble you, but to ask if I may say for certain that you'll take the rooms again in February. It's easy to let them for the month after Christmas because of the pantomimes. Only say it once because Bunce is nagging me day after day. I don't want nobody's wife and baby to have to do for, and I'd soon have a Parliament gent like yourself than anyone else. Yours humbly and respectful, Jane Bunce. To this he replied that he would certainly come back to the rooms in Great Maulba Street, should he be so lucky enough to find them vacant, and expressed his willingness to take them on and from the first of February. And on the third of February he found himself in the old quarters, Miss Bunce having contrived with much conjugal adroitness, both to keep Miss Pounceford and to stave off the equity draughtsman's wife and baby. Bunce, however, received Phineas very coldly, and told his wife the same evening that as far as he could see, their lodger would never turn up to be a trump in the matter of the ballot. If he means well, why did he go and stay with them lords down in Scotland? I know all about it. I know as a man when I see him. Mr Lowe, who's looked out to be a jewellery judge some of these days, is a deal-better, because he knows what he's after. Immediately on his return to town, Phineas found himself summoned to a political meeting at Mr Miles Mayer's house in St James's Square. We're going to begin in earnest this time, Mary Gonell said to him at the club. I'm glad of that, said Phineas. I suppose you heard all about it down at Loughlynder. Now, in truth, Phineas had heard very little of any settled plan down at Loughlynder. He played a game of chess with Mr Gresham, and had shot a stag with Mr Palliser, and had discussed sheep with Lord Brentford, but had hardly heard a word about politics from any one of these influential gentlemen. From Mr Monk he'd had much of a coming reform bill, but his communications with Mr Monk had rather been private discussions, in which he'd learned Mr Monk's views on certain points, then revelations on the intention of the party to which Mr Monk belonged. Now, I heard of nothing settled, said Phineas, but I suppose we ought to have a reform bill. That's a matter of course. And I suppose we ought not to touch upon the question of the ballot. And that's the difficulty, said Mary Gonell. But, of course, we shan't touch it as long as Mr Mildmay is in the cabinet. He will never consent to the ballot as First Minister of the Crown. Nor would Gresham or Palliser, said Phineas, who did not choose to bring forward his greatest gun at first. I don't know about Gresham. It's impossible to say what Gresham might bring himself to do. Gresham is a man who may go to any lengths before he is done. Planty Pall, for such was the name by most Mr Plantagen at Palliser, was ordinarily known among his friends, would of course go with Mr Mildmay and the Duke. And Monk is opposed to the ballot, said Phineas. No, that's the question. No doubt he is assented to the proposition of a measure without the ballot. But if they should come around, men like Turnbull demanded, and the London mob kick up a chinty, I don't know how far Monk would be steady. Whatever he says he'll stick to. He's your leader, then, asked Mariton. I don't know that I have a leader. Mr Mildmay leads our side, and if anybody leads me, he does. But I have great faith in Mr Monk. There's one who should go for the ballot tomorrow, if it were brought forward stoutly, said Mariton Earle to Mr Rattler a few minutes afterwards, pointing to Phineas as he spoke. I don't think much of that young man, said Rattler. Mr Bontein and Mr Rattler had put their heads together during that last evening at Loch Linter, and had agreed that they did not think much of Phineas Finn. Why did Mr Kennedy go down off the mountain to get him a pony? Why did Mr Gresham play chess with him? Mr Rattler and Mr Bontein may have been right in making up their minds to think but little of Phineas Finn, but Barrington Earle had been quite wrong when he had said that Phineas would go for the ballot tomorrow. Phineas had made up his mind very strongly that he would always oppose the ballot, that he would hold the same opinion throughout his life no one should pretend to say. But in his present mood and under the tuition which he'd received from Mr Monk, he was prepared to demonstrate, out of the house and in it, that the ballot was, as a political measure, unmanly, ineffective and innovating. Innovating had been a great work with Mr Monk, and Phineas had clung to it with admiration. The meeting took place at Mr Mildmay's on the third day of the session. Phineas had of course heard of such meetings before, but had never attended one. Indeed, there had been no such gathering when Mr Mildmay's party came into power early in the last session. Mr Mildmay and his men had then made their effort in turning out their opponents, and had been well pleased to rest awhile upon their oars. Now, however, they must go again to work, and therefore the Liberal Party was collected at Mr Mildmay's house in order that the Liberal Party might be told what it was that Mr Mildmay and his cabinet intended to do. Phineas Finn was quite in the dark as to what would be the nature of the performance on this occasion, and entertained some idea that every gentleman present would be called upon to express individually his assent or dissent in regard to the measure proposed. He walked to St James's Square with Lawrence Fitzgibbon, but even with Fitzgibbon was ashamed to show his ignorance by asking questions. After all, said Fitzgibbon, this kind of thing means nothing. I know as well as possible, and so do you, or Mr Mildmay will say, and then Gresham will say a few words, and then Turble will make a murmur, and then we shall all assent, to anything or to nothing, and then it will be over. Still Phineas did not understand whether the assent required would or would not be an individual personal assent. When the affair was over, he found that he was disappointed, and that he might almost as well have stayed away from the meeting, except that he had attended at Mr Mildmay's bidding, and had given a silent adhesion to Mr Mildmay's plan of reform for that session. Lawrence Fitzgibbon had been very nearly correct in his description of what would occur. Mr Mildmay made a long speech. Mr Turble, the great radical of the day, the man who is supposed to represent what many call the Manchester School of Politics, asked half a dozen questions. In answer to these, Mr Gresham made a short speech. Then Mr Mildmay made another speech, and then all was over. The gist of the whole thing was that there should be a reform bill, very generous in its enlargement of the franchise, but no ballot. Mr Turble expressed his doubt whether this would be satisfactory to the country, but even Mr Turble was soft in his tone and complacent in his manner. As there was no reporter present, that plan of turning private meetings of gentlemen's houses into public assemblies not having been as yet adopted, there could be no need for energy or violence. They went to Mr Mildmay's house to hear Mr Mildmay's plan, and they heard it. Two days after this, Phineas was to dine with Mr Monk. Mr Monk had asked him in the lobby of the house. I don't give dinner parties, he said, but I should like you to come and meet Mr Turble. Phineas accepted the invitation as a matter of course. There were many who said that Mr Turble was the greatest man in the nation, and that the nation could be saved only by a direct obedience to Mr Turble's instructions. Others said that Mr Turble was a demagogue and at heart a rebel, that he was un-English, false and very dangerous. Phineas was rather inclined to believe the latter statement, and as danger and dangerous men are always more attractive than safety and safe men, he was glad to have an opportunity of meeting Mr Turble at dinner. In the meantime, he went to call on Lady Laura, who he had not seen since the last evening when he spent in her company at Loch Linter, whom, when he was last speaking to her, he had kissed close beneath the falls of the Linter. He found her at home, and with her was her husband. Here is a Derby and Joan meeting, is it not? she said, getting up to welcome him. He had seen Mr Kennedy before, and had been standing close to him during the meeting Mr Marlbays. I am very glad to find you both together. But Robert is going away this instant, said Lady Laura. Has he told you of your adventures at Rome? Not a word. Then I must tell you, but not now. The dear old Pope was so civil to us, I came to think it quite a pity that he should be in trouble. I must be off, said the husband, getting off, but I shall meet you at dinner, I believe. Do you dine at Mr Monks? Yes, and I am asked expressly to hear Terbal made a convert of you. There are only to be asked for. Farewell. Then Mr Kennedy went, and Phineas found himself alone with Lady Laura. He hardly knew how to address her, and remained silent. He had not prepared himself for the interview as he ought to have done, and felt himself to be awkward. She evidently expected him to speak, and for a few seconds sat waiting for what he might say. At last she found that it was incumbent on her to begin. Were you surprised at our suddenness when you got my note? A little. You had spoken of waiting. I had never imagined that he would have been impetuous, and he seemed to think that even the business of getting himself married would not justify him staying away from Parliament. He is a rigid Martinette in all matters of duty. I did not wonder that he should be in a hurry, but that you should submit. I told you that I should do just what the wise people told me. I asked Papa, and he said that it would be better. So the lawyers were driven out of their minds, and the milleners out of their bodies, and the thing was done. Who was there at the marriage? Oswald was not there. That I know is what you mean to ask. Papa said that he might come if he pleased. Oswald stipulated that he should be received as a son. Then my father spoke the hardest word that ever fell from his mouth. What did he say? I will not repeat it, not altogether. But he said that Oswald was not entitled to a son's treatment. He was very sore about my money because Robert was so generous as to his settlement. Said the breach between them is as wide as ever. I am where his children are now, said Phineas. Down in Northamptonshire, staying at some inn from whence he hunts, he tells me that he is quite alone, that he never dines out, never has anyone to dine with him, that he hunts five or six days a week, and reads at night. That's not a bad sort of life. Not if the reading is any good. But I cannot bear that he should be so solitary. And if he breaks down in it, then his companions will not be fit for him. Do you ever hunt? Oh yes, at home, in County Clare, or Irishman Hunt. I wish he would go down to him and see him. He would be delighted to have you. Phineas thought over the proposition before he answered it, and then made the reply that he begged once before. I would do so, Lady Laura, but that I have no money for hunting in England. Alas, alas! said she, smiling. How that hip-punch hits one on every side. I might manage it for a couple of days, in March. Do not do what you think you ought not to do, said Lady Laura. No, certainly, but I should like it, and if I can, I will. He could much.  I think he has seven or eight. And now tell me, Mr Phine, when are you going to charm the house? Or is your first intention to strike terror? He blushed. He knew that he blushed as he answered. Oh, I suppose I should make some sort of attempt before long. I can't bear the idea of being a bore. I think you ought to speak, Mr Phine. I do not know about that, but I certainly mean to try. There will be lots of opportunities about the new reform bill. Of course, you know that Mr Malmay is going to bring it up once. You hear all that from Mr Kennedy. And Papa has told me. I still see Papa almost every day. You must call upon him. Mind you do. Phineas said that he certainly would. Papa is very lonely now, and I sometimes feel that I have been almost cruel in deserting him. And I think that he has a horror of the house, especially later in the year, always fancying that he will meet Oswald. I am so unhappy about it all, Mr Phine. Why doesn't your brother marry? said Phineas, knowing nothing as yet of Lord Chilton and Violet Effingham. If he were to marry well, that would bring your father round. Yes, it would. And why should he not? Lady Laura paused before she answered, and then she told the whole story. He is violently in love, and the girl he loves has refused him twice. Is it with Miss Effingham? asked Phineas, guessing the truth at once and remembering what Miss Effingham had said to him when riding in the wood. Yes, with Violet Effingham, my father's pet, his favorite whom he loves next to myself, almost as well as myself, whom he would really welcome as a daughter. He would gladly make a mistress of his house and of Salisbury. Everything would then go smoothly. But she does not like Lord Chilton. I believe she loves him in her heart, but she is afraid of him. As she says herself, a girl is bound to be so careful of herself, with all her seeming frolic, Violet Effingham is very wise. Phineas, though not conscious of anything akin to jealousy, was annoyed at the revelation made to him. Since he had heard that Lord Chilton was in love with Miss Effingham, he did not like Lord Chilton quite as well as he had done before. He himself had simply admired Miss Effingham and had taken pleasure in her society. But there this had been all. He did not like to care of another man wanting to marry her. And he was always angry with Lady Laura for saying that she believed Miss Effingham loved her brother. If Miss Effingham had twice refused Lord Chilton, that ought to have been sufficient. It was not that Phineas was in love with Miss Effingham himself. As he was still violently in love with Lady Laura, any other love was, of course, impossible.  If it be wisdom on her part, said he, answering Lady Laura's last words, you cannot find fault with her for her decision. I find no fault, but I think my brother would make her happy. Lady Laura, when she was left alone, at once reverted to the tone in which Phineas Finn had answered her remarks about Miss Effingham. Phineas was very ill able to conceal his thoughts and wore his heart almost upon his sleeve. Can it be possible that he cares for her himself? That was the nature of Lady Laura's first question to herself upon the matter. And in asking herself that question, she thought nothing of the disparity in rank or fortune between Phineas Finn and Violet Effingham. Nor did it occur to her, as at all improbable, that Violet might accept the love of him who had been so lately her own lover. But the idea grated against her which is on two sides. She was most anxious that Violet should ultimately become her brother's wife, and she could not be pleased that Phineas should be able to love any woman. I must beg my readers not to be carried away by those last words into any erroneous conclusion. They must not suppose that Lady Laura Kennedy, the lately married bride, indulged a guilty passion for the young man who had loved her. Though she had probably thought often of Phineas Finn since her marriage, her thoughts had never been of her nature to disturb her rest. It had never occurred to her even to think that she had regarded him with any feeling that was an offence to her husband. She would have hated herself had any such idea presented itself to her mind. She prided herself on being a pure, high-principled woman who kept so strong a guard upon herself as to be nearly free from the dangers of those rocks upon which other women make shipwreck of their happiness. She took pride in this, and would then blame herself for her own pride. But though she so blamed herself, it never occurred to her to think that to her there might be danger of such shipwreck. She had put away from herself the idea of love when she had first perceived that Phineas had regarded her with more than friendship, and had accepted Mr. Kennedy's offer with an assured conviction that by doing so she was acting best for her own happiness and for that of all those concerned. She had felt the romance of the position to be sweet when Phineas had stood with her at the top of the falls of the linter, and had told her of the hopes which she had dared to indulge. At the bottom of the falls he had presumed to take her in his arms. She had forgiven him without difficulty to herself, telling herself that that would be the Alpha and the Omega of the romance of her life. She had not felt herself bound to tell Mr. Kennedy of what had occurred, but she had felt that he could hardly have been angry even had he been told. And he had often thought of her lover since, and of his love, telling herself that she too had once had a lover, never regarding her husband in that light, but her thoughts had not frightened her as guilty thoughts will do. There had come a romance which had been pleasant, and it was gone. It had been soon banished, but it had left to her a sweet flavour of which she loved to taste the sweetness, though she knew that it was gone. And the man should be her friend, but especially her husband's friend, it should be her care to see that his life was successful, and especially her husband's care. It was a great delight to her to know that her husband liked the man. And the man would marry, and the man's wife should be her friend. All this would be very pure and very pleasant. Now an idea had fitted across her brain that the man was in love with someone else, and she did not like it. But she did not therefore become afraid of herself, or in the least realise at once the danger of her own position. Her immediate glance of the matter did not go beyond the falseness of men. If it were so, as you suspect, if Sinus had in truth transferred his affections to Vala Defiam, of how little value was the love of such a man. It did not occur to her at this moment that she also had transferred hers to Robert Kennedy, or that, if not, she had done worse. But she did remember that in the autumn this young Phoebus among men had turned his back upon her out upon the mountain, that he might hide from her the agony of his heart when he learned that she was to be the wife of another man, and that now, before the winter was over, he could not hide from her the fact that his heart was elsewhere. And then she speculated, and counted up facts, and satisfied herself that Phineas could not even have seen Vala Defiam since they, too, had stood together upon the mountain. How false a man, how false and how weak of heart! Chilternum Vala Defiam! said Phineas to himself as he walked away from Grove no place. Is it fair that she should be sacrificed because she is rich, and because she is so winning and so fascinating that Lord Bredford would receive even his son for the sake of receiving also such a daughter-in-law? Phineas also liked Lord Chilternum, had seen, or fancied, that he had seen fine things in him, and looked forward to his regeneration, hoping perhaps that he might have some hand in the good work. But he did not recognise the propriety of sacrificing Vala Defiam even for work so good as this. Even Miss Effingham had refused Lord Chilternum twice, surely that ought to be sufficient. It did not occur to him that the love of such a girl as a violet would be a great treasure to himself. As regarded himself, he was still in love, hopelessly in love, with Lady Laura Kennedy. CHAPTER XVIII. Mr. Turnbull It was Wednesday evening, and there was no house, and at seven o'clock Phineas was at Mr. Monk's hall door. He was the first of the guests, and he found Mr. Monk alone in the dining-room. I'm doing butler, said Mr. Monk, who had a brace of decanters in his hands, which he proceeded to put down in the neighbourhood of the fire. But I have finished, and now we will go upstairs to receive the two great men properly. I beg your pardon for coming too early, said Phine. Not a minute too early. Seven is seven, and it is I who am too late.  I remember Lord Palmerston saying before some committee about salaries, five or six years ago now, I daresay, that it wouldn't do for an English minister to have his hall door opened by a maid-servant. Now I am an English minister, and I have got nobody but a maid-servant to open my hall door, and I am obliged to look after my own wine. I wonder whether it's improper. I shouldn't like to be in the means of injuring the British constitution. Perhaps if you resign soon, and if nobody follows your example, grave evil results may be avoided. I sincerely hope so, for I do love the British constitution, and I love also the respect in which members of the English cabinet are held. Now Mr. Turnbull, who will be here in a moment, hates it all. But he is a rich man, and has more powdered footmen hanging about his house than ever Lord Palmerston had himself. He is still in business. Oh, yes, and makes his thirty thousand a year. Here he is. How are you, Turnbull? We were talking about my maid-servant. I hope she opened the door for you properly. Certainly, as far as I perceived, said Mr. Turnbull, who was better at a speech than a joke. A very respectable young woman, I should say. There is not one more so in all London, said Mr. Monk. But Finn seems to think that I ought to have a man in livery. It is a matter of perfect indifference to me, said Mr. Turnbull. I am one of those who never think of such things. Nor I either, said Mr. Monk. Then the lead of Loughlynta was announced, and they all went down to dinner. Mr. Turnbull was a good-looking, robust man, about sixty, with long grey hair, and a red complexion, with hard eyes, a well-cut nose, and full lips.  In the house, at least, he was always so dressed, and at dinner-tables. What difference there might be in his costume when at home at Staley Bridge, few of those who saw him in London, had the means of knowing. There was nothing in his face to indicate special talent. No one looking at him would take him to be a fool, but there was none of the fire of genius in his eyes, nor was there in the lines of his mouth any of that play of thought or fancy which is generally to be found in the faces of men and women who have made themselves great. Mr. Turnbull had certainly made himself great, and could hardly have done so without force of intellect. He was one of the most popular, if not the most popular politician in the country. Poor men believed in him, thinking that he was their most honest public friend, and men who were not poor believed in his power, thinking that his councils must surely prevail. He had obtained the ear of the house and the favour of the reporters, and opened his voice at no public dinner on no public platform, without a conviction that the words spoken by him would be read by thousands. The first necessity for good speaking is a large audience, and of this advantage Mr. Turnbull had made himself sure. And yet it could hardly be said that he was a great orator. He was gifted with a powerful voice, with strong and I may perhaps call them broad convictions, with perfect self-reliance, with almost unlimited powers of endurance, with hot ambition, with no keen scruples, and with a moral skin of great thickness. Nothing said against him pained him, no attacks wounded him, no railery touched him in the least. There was not a sore spot about him, and probably his first thoughts on waking every morning told him that he, at least, was Toto's Tere's Adguero Tundus. He was, of course, a thorough radical, and so was Mr. Monk. But Mr. Monk's first waking thoughts were probably exactly the reverse of those of his friend. Mr. Monk was a much hotter man in debate than Mr. Turnbull, but Mr. Monk was ever doubting of himself, and never doubted of himself so much as when he had been most violent, and also most effective, in debate. When Mr. Monk jeered at himself for being a Cabinet Minister and keeping no attendant grander than a Parliament, there was a substratum of self-doubt under the joke. Mr. Turnbull was certainly a great radical, and as such enjoyed a great repussation. I did not think that high office in the State had ever been offered to him, but things had been said which justified him, or seemed to justify him, in declaring that in no possible circumstances would he serve the Crown. I serve the people, he had said, and much as I respect the servants of the Crown, I think that my own office is the higher. He had been greatly called to task for this speech, and Mr. Mildmay, the present Premier, had asked him whether he did not recognise the so-called servants of the Crown as the most hard-worked and truest servants of the people. The House and the Press had supported Mr. Mildmay, but to all that Mr. Turnbull was quite indifferent, and when an assertion made by him, before three or four hundred persons at Manchester, to the effect that he, he especially, was the friend and servant of the people, was received with acclamation, he felt quite satisfied that he had gained his point. Progressive reform in the franchise, of which manhood suffrage should be the acknowledged and not far distant end, equal electoral districts, ballot, tenant right for England as well as Ireland, reduction of the standing army till there should be no standing army to reduce, utter disregard of all political movements in Europe, an almost idolatrous admiration for all political movements in America, free trade in everything except malt, and an absolute extinction of a state church. These were among the principal articles in Mr. Turnbull's political catalogue. And I think that when once he had learned the art of arranging his words as he stood upon his legs, and had so mastered his voice as to have obtained the ear of the House, the work of his life was not difficult. Being free from responsibility, he was not called upon either to study details or to master even great facts. It was his business to convey against existing evils, and perhaps there is no easier business when once the privilege of an audience has been attained. It was his work to cut down forest trees, and he had nothing to do with the subsequent cultivation of the land. Mr. Monk had once told Phineas Finn how great were the charms of that inaccuracy which was permitted to the opposition. Mr. Turnbull no doubt enjoyed these charms to the full, though he would sooner have put a padlock on his mouth for a month than have owned as much. Upon the whole Mr. Turnbull was no doubt right in resolving that he would not take office, though some reticence on that subject might have been more becoming to him. The conversation at dinner, though it was altogether on political subjects, had in it nothing of special interest as long as the girl was there to change the plates. But when she was gone, and the door was closed, it gradually opened out, and there came on to be a pleasant sparring match between the two great radicals, the radical who had joined himself to the governing powers, and the radical who stood aloof. Mr. Kennedy barely said a word now and then, and Phineas was almost as silent as Mr. Kennedy. He had come there to hear some such discussion, and was quite willing to listen, while guns of such great calibre were being fired off for his amusement. I think Mr. Mildmay is making a great step forward, said Mr. Turnbull. I think he is, said Mr. Monk. I did not believe that he would ever live to go so far. It will hardly suffice even for this year, but still coming from him it is a great deal. It only shows how far a man may be made to go, if only the proper force be applied. After all, it matters very little who are the ministers. That is what I have always declared, said Mr. Monk. Very little indeed. We don't mind whether it be Lord Deterrier, or Mr. Mildmay, or Mr. Gresham, or you yourself, if you choose to get yourself made First Lord of the Treasury. I have no such ambition, Turnbull. I should have thought you had. If I went in for that kind of thing myself, I should like to go to the top of the ladder. I should feel that if I could do any good at all by becoming a minister, I could only do it by becoming First Minister. You wouldn't doubt your own fitness for such a position? I doubt my fitness for the position of any minister, said Mr. Turnbull. You mean that on other grounds, said Mr. Kennedy. I mean it on every ground, said Mr. Turnbull, rising on his legs and standing with his back to the fire. Of course I am not fit to have diplomatic intercourse with men who would come to me simply with the desire of deceiving me. Of course I am unfit to deal with members of Parliament who would flock around me because they wanted places. Of course I am unfit to answer every man's questions so as to give no information to anyone. Could you not answer them so as to give information? said Mr. Kennedy. But Mr. Turnbull was so intent on his speech that it may be doubted whether he heard this interruption. He took no notice of it as he went on. Of course I am unfit to maintain the proprieties of a seeming confidence between a crown all powerless and a people all powerful. No man recognises his own unfitness for such work more clearly than I do, Mr. Monk. But if I took in hand such work at all, I should like to be the leader and not the lead. Tell us fairly now what are your convictions worth in Mr. Mildmay's cabinet? That is a question which a man may hardly answer himself, said Mr. Monk. It is a question which a man should at least answer for himself before he can sense to sit there, said Mr. Turnbull, in a tone of voice which was almost angry. And what reason have you for supposing that I have omitted that duty? said Mr. Monk. Simply this, that I cannot reconcile your known opinions with the practices of your colleagues. I will not tell you what my convictions may be worth in Mr. Mildmay's cabinet. I will not take upon myself to say that they are worth the chair on which I sit when I am there. But I will tell you what my aspirations were when I consented to fill that chair, and you shall judge of their worth. I thought that they might possibly leaven the batch of bread which we have to bake, giving to the whole batch more of the flavour of reform than it would have possessed had I absented myself. I thought that when I was asked to join Mr. Mildmay and Mr. Gresham, the very fact of that request indicated liberal progress, and that if I refused the request I should be declining to assist in good work. You could have supported them if anything were proposed worthy of support, said Mr. Turnbull. Yes, but I could not have been so effective in taking care that some measure be proposed worthy of support, as I may possibly be now. I thought a good deal about it, and I believe that my decision was right. I am sure you are right, said Mr. Kennedy. There can be no juster object of ambition than a seat in the cabinet, said Phineas. Sir, I must dispute that, said Mr. Turnbull, turning round upon our hero. I regard the position of our high ministers as most respectable. Thank you for so much, said Mr. Monk, but the orator went on again regardless of the interruption. The position of gentlemen in inferior offices, of gentlemen who attend rather to the nods and winks of their superior's endowning street than to the interest of their constituents, I do not regard as being highly respectable. A man cannot begin at the top, said Phineas. Our friend Mr. Monk has begun at what you are pleased to call the top, said Mr. Turnbull, but I will not profess to think that even he has raised himself by going into office. To be an independent representative of a really popular commercial constituency is, in my estimation, the highest object of an Englishman's ambition. But why commercial, Mr. Turnbull? said Mr. Kennedy. Because the commercial constituencies really do elect their own members in accordance with their own judgements, whereas the counties in the small towns are coerced, either by individuals or by a combination of aristocratic influences. And yet, said Mr. Kennedy, there are not half a dozen conservatives returned by all the counties in Scotland. Scotland is very much to be honoured, said Mr. Turnbull. Mr. Kennedy was the first to take his departure, and Mr. Turnbull followed him very quickly. Phineas got up to go at the same time, but stayed at his host's request, and sat for a while smoking a cigar. Turnbull is a wonderful man, said Mr. Monk. Does he not domineer too much? His fault is not arrogance, so much as ignorance that there is, or should be, a difference between public and private life. In the House of Commons a man in Mr. Turnbull's position must speak with dictatorial assurance. He is always addressing not the house only, but the country at large, and the country will not believe in him unless he believe in himself. But he forgets that he is not always addressing the country at large. I wonder what sort of a time Mrs. Turnbull and the little Turnbulls have of it. Phineas, as he went home, made up his mind that Mrs. Turnbull and the little Turnbulls must probably have a bad time of it. It was known that whatever might be the details of Mr. Mildmay's bill, the ballot would not form part of it. And, as there was a strong party in the House of Commons, and a very numerous party out of it, who were desirous that voting by ballot should be made a part of the electoral law, it was decided that an independent motion should be brought on in anticipation of Mr. Mildmay's bill. The arrangement was probably one of Mr. Mildmay's own making, so that he might be hampered by no opposition on that subject by his own followers, if, as he did not doubt, the motion should be lost. It was expected that the debate would not last over one night, and Phineas resolved that he should make his maiden speech on this occasion. He had very strong opinions as to the inefficacy of the ballot for any good purpose, and thought that he might be able to strike out from his convictions some sparks of that fire, which had been so plentiful with him in the old debating clubs. But even at breakfast that morning, his heart began to beat quickly at the idea of having to stand on his legs before so critical an audience. He knew that it would be well that he should, if possible, get the subject off his mind during the day, and therefore he went out among the people who certainly would not talk to him about the ballot. He sat for nearly an hour in the morning with Mr. Low, and did not even tell Mr. Low that it was his intention to speak on that day. Then he made one or two other calls, and at about three went up to Portman Square to look for Lord Children. It was now nearly the end of February, and Phineas had not often seen Lady Laura. He had not seen her brother, but had learned from his sister that he had been driven up to London by the frost. He was told by the porter at Lord Brentford's that Lord Children was in the house, and as he was passing through the hall he met Lord Brentford himself. He was thus driven to speak, and felt himself called upon to explain why he was there. I am come to see Lord Children, he said. Is Lord Children in the house, said the Earl, turning to the servant? Yes, my lord, his lordship arrived last night. You will find him upstairs, I suppose, said the Earl. For myself I know nothing of him. He spoke in an angry tone, as though he resented the fact that anyone should come to his house to call upon his son, and turned his back quickly upon Phineas. But he thought better of it before he reached the front door, and turned again. By the by, said he, what majority shall we have tonight, Phine? Pretty nearly as many as you pleased to name, my lord, said Phineas. Well, yes, I suppose we are tolerably safe. You ought to speak upon it. Perhaps I may, said Phineas, feeling that he blushed as he spoke. Do, said the Earl, do. If you see Lord Children, will you tell him from me that I should be glad to see him before he leaves London? I shall be at home until noon tomorrow. Phineas, much astonished at the commission given to him, of course said that he would do as he was desired, and then passed on to Lord Children's apartments. He found his friend standing in the middle of the room without coat and waistcoat, with a pair of dumbbells in his hands. When there's no hunting, I'm driven to this kind of thing, said Lord Children. I suppose it's good exercise, said Phineas. And it gives me something to do. When I'm in London, I feel like a gypsy in church, till the time comes for prowling out at night. I have no occupation for my days, whatever, and no place to which I can take myself. I can't stand in a club window, as some men do, and I should disgrace any decent club, if I did stand there. I belong to the travellers, but I doubt whether the porter would let me go in. I think you peak yourself on being more of an outer bohemian than you are, said Phineas. I peak myself on this, that whether bohemian or not, I will go nowhere that I am not wanted. Though, for the matter of that, I suppose I am not wanted here. Then Phineas gave him the message from his father. He wishes to see me tomorrow morning, continued Lord Children. Let him send me word what it is he has to say to me. I do not choose to be insulted by him, though he is my father. I would certainly go if I were you. I doubt it very much, if all the circumstances were the same. Let him tell me what he wants. Of course, I cannot ask him children. I know what he wants very well. Laura has been interfering, and doing no good. You know Violet Fingham? Yes, I know her, said Phineas, much surprised. They want me to marry her. And you do not wish to marry her? I did not say that. But do you think that such a girl as Miss Effingham would marry such a man as I am? She would be much more likely to take you. By George she would. Do you know that she has three thousand a year of her own? I know that she has money. That's about the tune of it. I would take her without a shilling tomorrow, if she would have me. Because I like her. She is the only girl I ever did like. But what is the use of my liking her? They have painted me so black among them, especially my father, that no decent girl would think of marrying me.  I don't care straw whether he be angry or not. He allows me eight hundred a year, and he knows that if he stopped it I should go to the Jews the next day. I could not help myself. He can't leave an acre away from me, and yet he won't join me in raising money for the sake of paying Laura her fortune. Lady Laura can hardly want money now.  But nevertheless Laura ought to have her own money. She shall have it some day. I would see Lord Brentford if I were you. I will think about it. Now tell me about coming down to Willingford. Laura says you will be coming some day in March. I can mount you for a couple of days, and should be delighted to have you. My horses all pull like the mischief, and rush like devils, and want a great deal of riding. But an Irishman likes that. I do not dislike it particularly. I like it. I prefer to have something to do on horseback. When a man tells me that a horse is an armchair, I always tell him to put the brute into his bedroom. Mind you, come. The house I stay at is called the Willingford Bull, and it's just four miles from Peterborough. Finneas swore that he would go down and ride the pulling horses, and then took his leave, earnestly advising your children, as he went, to keep the appointment proposed by his father. When the morning came at half past eleven, the son, who had been standing for half an hour with his back to the fire in the large gloomy dining-room, suddenly rang the bell. Tell the Earl, he said to the servant, that I am here, and will go to him if he wishes it. The servant came back, and said that the Earl was waiting. Then Lord Children strode after the man into his father's dining-room. Oswald said to the father, I have sent for you, because I think it may be as well to speak to you on some business. Will you sit down? Lord Children sat down, but did not answer a word. I feel very unhappy about your sister's fortune, said the Earl. So do I, very unhappy. We can raise the money between us, and pay her tomorrow, if you please it. It was in opposition to my advice that she paid your debts, and in opposition to mine too. I told her that I would not pay them, and were I to give back tomorrow, as you say, the money that she has so used, I should be stultifying myself. But I will do so on one condition. I will join you in raising the money of your sister on one condition. What is that? Laura tells me, indeed, has told me often, that you were attached to Violet Effingham. But Violet Effingham, my lord, is unhappily not attached to me. I do not know how that may be. Of course, I cannot say. I have never taken the liberty of interrogating her upon the subject. Even you, my lord, could hardly have done that. What do you mean by that? I say that I never have, said the Earl angrily. I simply mean that even you could hardly have asked Miss Effingham such a question. I have asked her, and she has refused me. But girls often do that, and yet accept afterwards the men whom they have refused. Laura tells me that she believes that Violet would consent if you pressed your suit. Laura knows nothing about it, my lord. There you are probably wrong. Laura and Violet are very close friends, and have no doubt discussed this matter between them. At any rate, it may be as well that you should hear what I have to say. Of course, I shall not interfere myself. There is no ground on which I can do so with propriety. None whatever, said Lord Children. The Earl became very angry, and nearly broke down in his anger. He paused for a moment, feeling disposed to tell his son to go, and never to see him again. But he gulped down his wrath, and went on with his speech. My meaning, sir, is this—that I have so great a faith in Violet Effingham, that I would receive her acceptance of your hand as the only proof which would be convincing to me of amendment in your mode in life. If she were to do so, I would join with you in raising money to pay your sister, would make some further sacrifice with reference to an income for you and your wife, and would make you both welcome to Salisbury, if you chose to come. The Earl's voice hesitated much, and became almost tremulous, as he made the last proposition.  But he recovered himself at once, and added, with all proper dignity, if you have anything to say, I shall be glad to hear it. All your offers would be nothing, my lord, if I did not like the girl. I should not ask you to marry a girl, if you did not like her, as you call it. But as to Miss Effingham, it happens that our wishes jump together. I have asked her, and she has refused me. I don't even know where to find her to ask her again. If I went to Lady Baldick's house, the servants would not let me in. And whose fault is that? Yours partly, my lord. You have told everybody that I am the devil, and now all the old women believe it. I never told anybody so. I'll tell you what I'll do. I will go down to Lady Baldick's today. I suppose she is at Battingham. And if I can get speech of Miss Effingham, Miss Effingham is not at Battingham. Miss Effingham is staying with your sister in Grovesner Place. I saw her yesterday. She is in London. I tell you that I saw her yesterday. Very well, my lord. Then I will do the best I can. Laura will tell you of the result. The father would have given the son some advice, as to the mode in which he should put forward his claim upon Violet's hand. But the son would not wait to hear it. Choosing to presume that the conference was over, he went back to the room in which he had kept his dumbbells, and for a minute or two went to work at his favorite exercise. But he soon put the dumbbells down, and began to prepare himself for his work. If this thing was to be done, it might as well be done at once. He looked out of his window, and saw that the streets were in a mess of slush. White snow was becoming black mud, as it will so do in London, and the violence of frost was giving way to the horrors of thaw. All would be soft and comparatively pleasant in Northamptonshire on the following morning, and if everything went right, he would breakfast at the Willingford Bowl. He would go down by the hunting train, and be at the inn by ten. The meet was only six miles distant, and all would be pleasant. He would do this whatever might be the result of his work the day, but in the meantime he would go and do his work. He had a cab called, and within half an hour of the time at which he had left his father, he was at the door of his sister's house in Galsner Place. The servant told him the ladies were at lunch. I can't eat lunch, he said. Tell them that I am in the drawing room. He has come to see you, said Lady Laura, as soon as the servant had left the room. I hope not, said Violet. Do not say that. But I do say it. I hope he has not come to see me. That is, not to see me specifically. Of course, I cannot pretend not to know what you mean. He may think it's civil to call if he has heard you are in town, said Lady Laura. After a pause. If it be only that I will be civil in return, as sweet as may to him. If it be really only that, and if I were sure of it, I would be really glad to see him. Then they finished their lunch, and Lady Laura got up and led the way to the drawing room. I hope you remember, said she gravely, that you might be a savior to him. I do not believe in girls being saviours to men. It is the man who should be the savior to the girl. If I marry at all, I have the right to expect that protection shall be given to me, not that I shall have to give it. Violet, you are determined to misrepresent what I mean. Lord Children was walking about the room, and did not sit down when they entered. The ordinary greetings took place, and Miss Effingham made some remark about the frost. But it seems to be going, she said, and I suppose that you will soon be at work again? Yes, I shall hunt tomorrow, said Lord Children.  Exactly, said Lord Children. I have nothing but hunting that I can call an occupation. Why don't you make one, said his sister? I mean to do so, if possible. Laura, would you mind leaving me and Miss Effingham alone for a few minutes? Lady Laura got up, and so did Miss Effingham. For what purpose, said the latter, it cannot be for any good purpose. At any rate, I wish it, and I will not harm you. Lady Laura was now going, but paused before she reached the door. Laura, will you do as I ask you, said the brother? Then Lady Laura went. It was not that I feared you would harm me, Lord Children, said Violet. No, I know it was not. But what I say is always said awkwardly. An hour ago I did not know that you were in town, but when I was told the news I came at once. My father told me. I am so glad that you see your father. I have not spoken to him for months before, and probably may not speak to him for months again. But there is one point, Violet, on which he and I agree. I hope there will soon be many. It is possible, but I fear not probable. Look here, Violet, and he looked at her with all his eyes, till it seemed to her that he was all eyes, so great was the intensity of his gaze. I should scorn myself where I to permit myself to come before you with a plea for your favour founded on my father's whims. My father is unreasonable, and has been very unjust to me. He has ever believed evil of me, and has believed it often when all the world knew that he was wrong. I care little for being reconciled to a father who has been so cruel to me. He loves me dearly, and is my friend. I would rather that you should not speak against him to me. You will understand at least that I am asking nothing from you because he wishes it. Laura probably has told you that you may make things straight by becoming my wife. She has, certainly, Lord Children. It is an argument that she should never have used. It is an argument to which you should not listen for a moment. Make things straight indeed. Who can tell? There would be very little made straight by such a marriage, if it were not that I loved you. Violet, that is my plea, and my only one. I love you so well that I do believe that if you took me, I should return to the old ways, and become as other men are, and be in time as respectable, as stupid, and perhaps as ill-natured as Old Lady Baldick herself. My poor aunt! You know she says worse things of me than that. Now, dearest, you have heard all that I have had to say to you, as he spoke he came close to her, and put out his hand. But she would not touch it. I have no other argument to use. Not a word more to say. As I came here in the cab, I was turning it over in my mind. That I might find what best I should say. But after all, there is nothing more to be said than that. The words make no difference, you replied. Not unless they be so uttered as to force a belief. I do love you. I know no other reason but that why you should be my wife. I have no other excuse to offer for coming to you again. You are the one thing in the world that to me has any charm. Can you be surprised that I should be persistent in asking for it? He was looking at her still with the same gaze. And there seemed to be a power in his eye from which she could not escape. He was still standing with his right hand out, as though expecting, or at least hoping, that her hand might be put into his. How am I to answer you, she said? With your love, if you can give it to me. Do you remember how you swore once that you would love me forever and always? You should not remind me of that. I was a child then. A naughty child, she added, smiling, and was put to bed for what I did on that day. Be a child still. Ah, if we but could. And have you no other answer to make me? Of course I must answer you.  Lord children, I am sorry that I cannot give you the love for which you ask. Never, never. Is it myself personally or what you have heard of me that is so hateful to you? Nothing is hateful to me. I have never spoken of hate. I shall always feel the strongest regard for my old friend and playfellow. But there are many things which a woman is bound to consider before she allows herself so to love a man that she can consent to become his wife. Allow herself. Then it is a matter entirely of calculation. I suppose there should be some thought in it, Lord children. There was no applause, and the man's hand was at last allowed to drop, as there came no response to the preferred grasp. He walked once or twice across the room before he spoke again, and then he stopped himself closely opposite to her. I shall never try again, he said. It will be better so, she replied. There is something to me unmanly in a man's persecuting a girl. Just tell Laura, will you, that it is all over, and she may as well tell my father. Goodbye. She then tendered her hand to him, but he did not take it. Probably did not see it, and it once left the room and the house. And yet I believe you love him, Lady Laura said to her friend in her anger, when they discussed the matter immediately on Lord Children's departure. You have no right to say that, Laura. I have a right to my belief, and I do believe it. I think you love him, and that you lack the courage to risk yourself in trying to save him. Is a woman bound to marry a man if she love him? Yes, she is, replied Lady Laura impetuously, without thinking of what she was saying. That is, if she be convinced that she also is loved. Whatever be the man's character, whatever be the circumstances, must she do so, whatever friends may say to the contrary? Is there to be no prudence in marriage? There may be a great deal too much prudence, said Lady Laura. That is true. There is certainly too much prudence if a woman marries prudently, but without love. Violet intended by this no attack upon her friend. Had not had present in her mind at the moment any idea of Lady Laura's special prudence in marrying Mr. Kennedy. But Lady Laura felt it keenly, and knew at once that an arrow had been shot which had wounded her. We shall get nothing, she said, by descending to personalities with each other. I meant none, Laura. I suppose it is always hard, said Lady Laura, for any one person to judge altogether of the mind of another. If I have said anything severe of your refusal of my brother, I retracted. I only wish that it could have been otherwise. Lord Chiltern, when he left his sister's house, walked through the slush and dirt to a haunt of his in the neighborhood of Covent Garden, and there he remained through the whole afternoon and evening. A certain Captain Clutterbuck joined him and dined with him. He told nothing to Captain Clutterbuck of his sorrow, but Captain Clutterbuck could see that he was unhappy. Let's have another bottle of Cham, said Captain Clutterbuck, when the dinner was nearly over. Cham is the only thing to screw one up when one is down a peg. You can have whatever you like, said Lord Chiltern, but I shall have some brandy and water. The worst of brandy and water is that one gets tired of it before the night is over, said Captain Clutterbuck. Nevertheless, Lord Chiltern did go down to Peterborough the next day by the hunting train, and rode his horse Bonebreaker so well in that famous run from Sutton Springs to Gidding, that after the run, young Piles, of the house of Piles, Sarsnit and Gingham, offered him three hundred pounds for the animal. He isn't worth above fifty, said Lord Chiltern. But I'll give you the three hundred, said Piles. You couldn't ride him if you got him, said Lord Chiltern. Oh, couldn't I, said Piles? But Mr. Piles did not continue the conversation, contenting himself with telling his friend Grogrum that the Red Devil children was as drunk as a Lord. End of chapter 19 Chapter 20 of Phineas Finn This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Bob Sage Phineas Finn by Anthony Trollop. Chapter 20 The Debate on the Ballot Phineas took his seat in the house with the consciousness of much inward trepidation of heart on that night of the ballot debate. After leaving Lord Chiltern, he went down to his club and died alone. Three or four men came and spoke to him, but he could not talk to them at his ease, nor did he quite know what they were saying to him. He was going to do something which he longed to achieve, but the very idea of which, now that it was so near to him, was a terror to him. To be in the house, and not to speak wood to his thinking, and be a disgraceful failure, indeed, he could not continue to keep his seat unless he spoke. He had been put there that he might speak. He would speak. Of course he would speak. Had he not already been conspicuous almost as a boy orator, and yet, at this moment, he did not know whether he was eating mutton or beef, or who was standing opposite to him and talking to him. So much was he in dread of the ordeal which he had prepared for himself. As he went down to the house after dinner, he almost made up his mind that it would be a good thing to leave London by one of the night-male trains. He felt himself to be stiff and stilted as he walked, and that his clothes were uneasy to him. When he turned into Westminster Hall, he regretted more keenly than ever he had done, that he had seceded from the keeping of Mr. Low. He could, he thought, have spoken very well in court, and would there have learned that self-confidence which now failed him so terribly. It was, however, too late to think of that. He could only go in and take his seat. He went in and took his seat, and the chambers seemed to him to be mysteriously large, as though benches were crowded over benches and galleries over galleries. He had been long enough in the house to have lost the original awe, inspired by the speaker and clerks of the house, by the row of ministers, and by the unequaled importance of the place. On ordinary occasions he would saunter in and out, and whisper at ease to a neighbor. But on this occasion he went direct to the bench on which he ordinarily sat, and began at once to rehearse to himself his speech. He had in truth been doing this all day, in spite of the effort that he had made to rid himself of all memory of the occasion. He had been collecting the heads of his speech while Mr. Low had been talking to him, and refreshing his quotations in the presence of Lord Chiltern and the dumbbells. He had taxed his memory and his intellect with various tasks which, as he feared, would not adjust themselves one with another. He had learned the headings of his speech, so that one heading might follow the other and nothing be forgotten, and he had learned verbatim the words which he intended to utter under each heading, with the hope that if any one compact part should be destroyed or injured in its compactness by treachery of memory, or by the course of the debate, each other compact part might be there in its entirety, ready for use, or at least so many of the compact parts as treachery of memory and the accidents of the debate might leave to him, so that his speech might be like a vessel, watertight in its various compartments, that would float by the buoyancy of its stern and bow, even though the hold should be waterlogged. But this use of his composed words even though he should be able to carry it through, would not complete his work, for it would be his duty to answer in some sort those who had gone before him, and in order to do this he must be able to insert, without any prearrangement of words or ideas, little intercalatory parts between those compact masses of argument, with which he had been occupying himself for many laborious hours. As he looked round the house and perceived that everything was dim before him, that all his original awe of the house had returned, and with it, a present, quaking fear that made him feel the pulsations of his own heart, he became painfully aware that the task he had prepared for himself was too great. He should, on this occasion of his rising and his maiden legs, have either prepared for himself a short general speech, which could indeed have done little for his credit in the house, but which might have served to carry off the novelty of the thing, and have introduced him to the sound of his own voice within those walls, or he should have trusted to what his wit and spirit would produce for him on the spur of the moment, and not have burdened himself with a huge exercise of memory. During the presentation of a few petitions, he tried to repeat to himself the first of his compact parts, a compact part on which, as it might certainly be brought into use, let the debate have gone as it might, he had expended great care. He had flattered himself that there was something of real strength in his words, as he repeated them to himself in the comfortable seclusion of his room, and he had made them so ready to his tongue that he thought it would be impossible that he should forget even an intonation. Now he found that he could not remember the first phrases without unloosing and looking at a small roll of paper which he held furtively in his hand. What was the good of looking at it? He would forget it again in the next moment. He had intended to satisfy the most eager of his friends and to astound his opponents, as it was no one would be satisfied, and none astounded but they who had trusted in him. The debate began, and if the leisure afforded by a long, tedious speech could have served him, he might have had leisure enough. He tried at first to follow all that this advocate for the ballot might say, hoping vents to acquire the impetus of a strong speech, but he soon wearied of the work and began to long that the speech might be ended, although the period of his own martyrdom would thereby be brought nearer to him. At half-past seven so many members had deserted their seats, that Phineas began to think that he might be saved all further pains by a count-out. He reckoned the members present and found that they were below the mystic forty, first by two, then by four, by five, by seven, and at one time by eleven. It was not for him to ask the speaker to count the house, but he wondered that no one else should do so. And yet, as the idea of this termination to the night's work came upon him, and as he thought of his lost labor, he almost took courage again, almost dreaded rather than wished for the interference of some malicious member. But there was no malicious member then present, or else it was known that lords of the treasury and lords of the admiralty would flock in during the speaker's ponderous counting, and thus the slow length of the ballot-lover's verbosity was permitted to evolve itself without interruption. At eight o'clock he had completed his catalog of illustrations, and immediately Mr. Monk rose from the treasury bench to explain the grounds on which the government must decline to support the motion before the house. Phineas was aware that Mr. Monk intended to speak, and was aware also that his speech would be very short. My idea is, he had said to Phineas, that every man possessed of the franchise should dare to have and to express a political opinion of his own, that otherwise the franchise is not worth having, and that men will learn that when all so dare, no evil can come from such daring. As the ballot would make any courage of that kind unnecessary, I dislike the ballot. I shall confine myself to that, and leave the illustration to younger debaters. Phineas also had been informed that Mr. Turnbull would reply to Mr. Monk with the purpose of crushing Mr. Monk into dust, and Phineas had prepared his speech with something of an intention of subsequently crushing Mr. Turnbull. He knew, however, that he could not command his opportunity. There was the chapter of accidents to which he must accommodate himself, but such had been his program for the evening. Mr. Monk made his speech, and though he was short, he was very fiery and energetic. Quick as lightning words of wrath and scorn flew from him, in which he painted the cowardice the meanness the falsehood of the ballot. The ballot box, he said, was the grave of all true political opinion. Though he spoke hardly for ten minutes, he seemed to say more than enough, ten times enough, to slaughter the argument of the former speaker. At every hot word, as it fell, Phineas was driven to regret that a paragraph of his own speech was taken away from him, and that his choicest morsels of standing ground were being cut from under his feet. When Mr. Monk sat down, Phineas felt that Mr. Monk had said all that he, Phineas Finn, had intended to say. Then Mr. Turnbull rose slowly from the bench below the gangway, with a speaker so frequent and so famous as Mr. Turnbull, no hurry is necessary. He is sure to have his opportunity. The speaker's eye is ever travelling to the accustomed spots. Mr. Turnbull rose slowly and began his oration very mildly. There was nothing, he said, that he admired so much as the poetic imagery and the high-flown sentiment of his right honourable friend, the member of West Bromwich. Mr. Monk sat for West Bromwich. Unless it were the stubborn facts and unanswered arguments of his honourable friend who had brought forward this motion, then Mr. Turnbull proceeded, after his fashion, to crush Mr. Monk. He was very prosaic, very clear both in voice and language, very harsh and very unscrupulous. He and Mr. Monk had been joined together in politics for over twenty years, but one would have thought, from Mr. Turnbull's words, that they had been the bitterest of enemies. Mr. Monk was taunted with his office, taunted with his desertion of the Liberal Party, taunted with his ambition, and taunted with his lack of ambition. I once thought, said Mr. Turnbull, nay, not long ago I thought, that he and I would have fought this battle for the people shoulder to shoulder and knee to knee. But he has preferred that the knee next to his own shall wear a garter, and that the shoulder which supports him shall be decked with a blue ribbon, as shoulders, I presume, are decked in those closet conferences which are called cabinets. Just after this, while Mr. Turnbull was going on with a variety of illustrations drawn from the United States, Barrington Earl stepped across the benches, up to the place where Phineas was sitting, and whispered a few words into his ear. Bonteen is prepared to answer Turnbull and wishes to do it. I told him that I thought you should have the opportunity if you wish it. Phineas was not ready with the reply to Earl at the spur of the moment. Somebody told me, continued Earl, that you had said that you would like to speak tonight. So I did, said Phineas, shall I tell Bonteen that you will do it? The chamber seemed to swim round before our hero's eyes. Mr. Turnbull was still going on with his clear, loud, unpleasant voice, but there was no knowing how long he might go on. Upon Phineas, if he should now consent, might devolve the duty within ten minutes, within three minutes, of rising there before a full house to defend his great friend Mr. Monk from a gross, personal attack. Was it fit that such a novice as he should undertake such a work as that?  The task was exactly that which, of all tasks, he would best like to have accomplished, and to have accomplished well, but if he should fail, and he felt that he would fail. For such work a man should have all his senses about him, his full courage, perfect confidence, something almost approaching to contempt for listening opponents and nothing of fear in regard to listening friends.  At this moment so confused was he that he did not know where sat Mr. Mildmay, and where Mr. Dobiny, all was confused, and there arose as it were a sound of waters in his ear, and a feeling as of a great hell around him. I had rather wait, he said at last. Bantine had better reply. Barrington Earl looked into his face, and then, stepping across the benches, told Mr. Bantine that the opportunity was his. Mr. Turnbull continued speaking quite long enough to give poor Phineas time for repentance, but repentance was of no use. He had decided against himself, and his decision could not be reversed. He would have left the house, only it seemed to him that had he done so, everyone would look at him. He drew his hat down over his eyes and remained in his place, hating Mr. Bantine, hating Barrington Earl, hating Mr. Turnbull, but hating no one so much, as he hated himself. He had disgraced himself forever and could never recover the occasion which he had lost. Mr. Bantine's speech was in no way remarkable. Mr. Monkey said, had done the state good service by adding his wisdom and patriotism to the cabinet. The sort of argument which Mr. Bantine used to prove that a man who has gained credit, as a legislator, should in process of time become a member of the executive, is trite and common, and was not used by Mr. Bantine with any special force. Mr. Bantine was glib of tongue, and possessed that familiarity with the place which poor Phineas had lacked so sorely. There was one moment, however, which was terrible to Phineas. As soon as Mr. Bantine had shown the purpose for which he was on his legs, Mr. Monkey looked round at Phineas as though in reproach. He had expected that this work should fall into the hands of one who would perform it with more warmth of heart than could be expected from Mr. Bantine. When Mr. Bantine ceased, two or three other short speeches were made, and members fired off their little guns. Phineas, having lost so great an opportunity, would not now consent to accept one that should be comparatively valueless. Then there came a division. The motion was lost by a large majority, by any number you might choose to name, as Phineas had said to Lord Brentford. But in that there was no triumph of the poor wretch who had failed through fear, and who was now a coward in his own steam. He left the house alone, carefully avoiding all speech with anyone. As he came out he had seen Lawrence Fitzgibbon in the lobby, but he had gone on without pausing a moment, so that he might avoid his friend. And when he was out in Palace Yard, where was he to go next? He looked at his watch, and found that it was just ten. He did not dare to go to his club, and it was impossible for him to go home and to bed. He was very miserable, and nothing would comfort him but sympathy.  Mrs. Bunce would do it if she knew how, but sympathy for Mrs. Bunce would hardly avail. There was but one person in the world to whom he could tell his own humiliation with any hope of comfort, and that person was Lady Laura Kennedy. Sympathy from any man would have been distasteful to him. He had thought for a moment of flinging himself and Mr. Monk's feet, and telling all his weakness, but he could not have endured the pity, even from Mr. Monk. It was not to be endured from any man. He thought that Lady Laura Kennedy would be at home, and probably alone. He knew at any rate that he might be allowed to knock at her door even at that hour. He had left Mr. Kennedy in the house, and there he would probably remain for the next hour. There was no man more constant than Mr. Kennedy in seeing the work of the day or of the night to its end. So Phineas walked up Victoria Street, and from thence to Grossvenor Place, and knocked at Lady Laura's door. Yes, Lady Laura was at home and alone. He was shown up into the drawing-room, and there he found Lady Laura waiting for her husband. So the great debate is over, she said, with as much irony as she knew how to throw into the epithet. Yes, it is over. And what have they done, those leviathans of the people? Then Phineas told her what was the majority. Is there anything to matter with you, Mr. Finn? She said, looking at him suddenly. Are you not well? Yes, I am very well. Will you not sit down? There's something wrong, I know. What is it?  What do you mean? I do not know why I should come to tell you of it at this hour at night, but I have come that I might tell you. Probably because there is no one else in the whole world who would not laugh at me. At any rate, I shall not laugh at you, said Lady Laura. But you will despise me. That I am sure I shall not do. You cannot help it. I despise myself. For years I have placed before myself the ambition of speaking in the House of Commons. For years I have been thinking whether there would ever come to me an opportunity of making myself heard in that assembly, which I consider to be the first in the world. Today the opportunity has been offered to me, and though the motion was nothing, the opportunity was great. The subject was one on which I was thoroughly prepared. The manner in which I was summoned was most flattering to me. I was especially called on to perform a task which was most congenial to my feelings, and I declined because I was afraid. You had thought too much about it, my friend, said Lady Laura. Too much or too little. What does it matter? replied Phineas in despair. There is the fact. I could not do it. Do you remember the story of Conachar and the fair maid of Perth?  He had been suckled with the milk of a timid creature, and though he could die, there was none of the strength of manhood in him. It is about the same thing with me, I take it. I do not think you are at all like Conachar, said Lady Laura. I am equally disgraced, and I must perish after the same fashion. I shall apply for the children hundreds in a day or two. You will do nothing of the kind, said Lady Laura, getting up from her chair and coming towards him.  I do not know as yet what has occurred tonight, but I do know that that modesty which has kept you silent is more often a grace than a disgrace. That was the kind of sympathy which he wanted. She drew her chair nearer to him, and then he explained to her as accurately as he could what had taken place in the house on this evening. How he had prepared his speech, how he had felt that his preparation was vain, how he perceived from the course of the debate that if he spoke at all, his speech must be very different from what he had first intended. How he had declined to take upon himself a task which seemed to require so close a knowledge of the ways of the house and of the temper of men, as the defence of such a man as Mr. Munger. In accusing himself, he unconsciously excused himself, and his excuse in Lady Laura's ears was more valid than his accusation. And you would give it all up for that, she said. Yes, I thought I ought. I have very little doubt that you were right in allowing Mr. Bontein to undertake such a task. I should simply explain to Mr. Munger that you felt too keen an interest in his welfare to stand up as an untried member in his defence. It is not, I think, the work for a man who is not at home in the house. I am sure Mr. Munger will feel this, and I am quite certain that Mr. Kennedy will think that you have been right. I do not care what Mr. Kennedy may think. Why do you say that, Mr. Finn? That is not courteous. Simply because I care so much what Mr. Kennedy's wife may think. Your opinion is all and all to me, only that I know you are too kind to me. He would not be too kind to you. He is never too kind to anyone. He is justice itself. Phineas, as he heard the tones of her voice, could not but feel that there was, in Lady Laura's words, something of an accusation against her husband.  I know that justice would condemn me. But love and friendship know nothing of justice. The value of love is that it overlooks faults and forgives even crimes. I, at any rate, said Lady Laura, will forgive the crime of your silence in the house. My strong belief in your success will not be in the least affected by what you tell me of your failure tonight. You must await another opportunity, and if possible you should be less anxious as to your own performance. There is violet. As Lady Laura spoke the last words, there was a sound of a carriage stopping in the street, and the front door was immediately opened. She is staying here, but has been dining with her uncle, Admiral Effingham. Then Violet Effingham entered the room, rolled up in pretty wife furs, and silk cloaks, and lace shawls. Here is Mr. Finn. Come to tell us of the debate about the ballot. I don't care too pence about the ballot, said Violet, as she put out her hand to Phineas. Are we going to have a new iron fleet built? That's the question. Sir Simeon has come out strong tonight, said Lady Laura. There is no political question of any importance, except the question of the iron fleet, said Violet. I'm quite sure of that, and so, if Mr. Finn can tell me nothing about the iron fleet, I'll go to bed. Mr. Kennedy will tell you everything when he comes home, said Phineas. Ah, Mr. Kennedy! Mr. Kennedy never tells one anything. I doubt whether Mr. Kennedy thinks that any woman knows the meaning of the British Constitution. Do you know what it means, Violet? asked Lady Laura. To be sure I do. It is liberty to growl about the iron fleet, or the ballot, or the taxes, or the piers, or the bishops, or anything else. Except the House of Commons. That's the British Constitution. Good night, Mr. Finn. What a beautiful creature she is, said Phineas. Yes, indeed, said Lady Laura, and full of wit and grace and pleasantness. I do not wonder at your brother's choice. It will be remembered that this was said on the day before Lord Shiltern had made his offer for the third time. Poor Oswald, he does not know as yet that she is in town. After that Phineas went, not wishing to await the return of Mr. Kennedy. He had felt that Violet Effingham had come into the room just in time to remedy a great difficulty. He did not wish to speak of his love to a married woman, to the wife of the man who called him friend, to a woman who he felt sure would have rebuked him, but he could hardly have restrained himself, had not Miss Effingham been there. But as he went home, he thought more of Miss Effingham than he did of Lady Laura, and I think that the voice of Miss Effingham had done almost as much towards comforting him as had the kindness of the other. At any rate, he had been comforted.