Good day and welcome back to the Forty Auty podcast. With your host as always Mr Thomas Henley, today I've got a very very special episode for you indeed. We're going to be talking to none other than Paul from Autism from the inside. Now if you have been in the YouTube space sort of watching videos on autism, learning about autism through online content, you all have no doubt come across Paul's work in the past. I think he's just gone around about just above 230,000 subscribers on YouTube, which is absolutely tremendous. And basically the background of how me and Paul got in contact is I sent an email, I asked him to be on the podcast of course. And the reason why is because we seem to share a lot of focus in terms of what we like to talk about specifically around the topic of today's podcast, which is autism and emotions, something that I'm sure a lot of people have mixed experiences with. Autism and emotions tend to be very, very complicated. And I know especially when I was a lot younger, I used to think that emotions weren't really worth it. I didn't think that socializing and being around people and filling my own emotional needs was that important. Obviously, in adulthood, a little bit different. So without rambling too much, Paul, how are you doing today? Yeah, not too bad. Thanks for accommodating the time difference. It's like first thing in the morning for me. So hopefully my words are working. If not, they might take a little bit of time to warm up. Yeah, yeah. So it's we do have quite a hefty time difference. It's actually about quarter past nine for me. And I think it's like quite early in the morning for you. Yeah, I think it's like 11 hours or something. Yeah, yeah. And you're tuning in from Australia. Yes, where in Australia are you based? In Melbourne, down the southeast. Well, what is it? What is it like to live in Australia? Because it's not one of the countries that I've ever been to. It does vary quite a lot from city to city. Melbourne is a fairly big city, like four or five million at least. But one of the reasons I like it is because it has lots of sort of microcultures and like lots of sort of small niche groups going on. It's famous for sort of hidden bars in the city and hidden shops that you wouldn't know unless you unless someone actually tells you about. So that's very cool. Yeah, I find it on TripAdvisor. No, you can't find the gems on TripAdvisor. There's lots of good stuff on TripAdvisor. But cool, cool. So I suppose the best place to start is your YouTube stuff.  And what I really want to know is like, what was your sort of starting story and, you know, what was YouTube like for you back then when compared to the stuff that you do now? Yeah, so I was very hesitant before starting a YouTube channel. Do I really want my story to be public on the internet or not? That was a really big decision for me. But I definitely felt like I wanted to share something, even though I didn't know what it was in the beginning necessarily. So it started off, I was just really excited to tell people about my autism discovery. And for me at the time, it was obviously a big discovery. And I was coming to terms with the ways that I'd been masking and my coping strategies. So you're late diagnosed, aren't you? Yeah, so this was at the age of 30. So I wanted to tell people what I was discovering about myself.  So you can still see that all on YouTube with my dreadlocks story. So I had dreadlocks for 15 years before that. Yeah, I do remember that. I think I came across a YouTube channel like quite a few years ago. It's like sometime during like my university days, I was trying to do YouTube and stuff, but it was just like, at the time, it was just a little bit too much. I was studying biomed at University of Manchester. And it's very hard to kind of juggle things, juggle the Taekwondo with the education and then do the YouTube. I was a little bit in over my head about it, to be honest. But I did come across your videos along with, I think stuff with Purple Ella as well as I think a little bit from the Aspie world was the main ones that I saw on YouTube at that kind of time. But you did, you had the really cool dreadlocks and stuff. And I was like... Yeah, so as you can imagine losing them after 15 years, I mean, it was literally half my life at that time. And the formative half of my life from ages 15 to 30, so yeah, big stuff. And I wanted to share about it. The other main driver behind the name, at the time I started with the name Asperger's from the inside and only changed it to Autism from the inside, sort of recently to reflect more of where I've gone since then and what I've learned. And when I was reading stuff about autism, it just didn't resonate very much. My kind of reaction to it was, I can fully understand how it looks like this from the outside, but actually what's going on is something completely different. And another big part of my story is The Book Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robinson. There's a moment in his book that's very, very similar where he's describing what his psychologist wrote about him, something along the lines of, Johnny doesn't like to play with the other kids. And his adult reflection on that was something like, Johnny would love to play with the other kids. All the other kids are really mean to Johnny. But Johnny is going to sit in this corner and play by himself instead, because he can't figure out how to do the whole social stuff. So huge difference between what we see on the outside and what we see on the inside. I think it's also as well like, from sort of being quite a, you know, I've had on the podcast like people from sort of different walks of life, like I've had people in from like the autistic community. I've had like researchers and scientists, as well as some parents in sort of on the podcast. And there does seem to be different sort of cultures and ways of thinking about autism in each of these different circles. Like it's like even even to the point where things around language is very different, like a lot of the sort of educational and how do you say, parenting worlds, they seem to have a very big sort of focus on person-first language, because they have that sort of disconnect between like the child and their autism. Whereas you talk to someone like myself or you talk to someone within the autistic community, and they're like, oh, it's part of me. Like, how can you separate that out? It'd be crazy. So it's really interesting sort of seeing the contrast with that. And, you know, the thing about changing from Asperger's from the inside to autism from the inside, I think it's something that I have obviously done a lot of thinking about. And I think it's, you know, it's a good consensus, I think that most people prefer the autism label. Yeah, it was a little bit hard to let go of the Asperger's label, because I really strongly identified with it at the time. But I guess one of the main reasons for the shift, for my personal shift, which is probably very similar for others, is that it's too neat and clean. And it kind of implies that there are neat, clean, different categories, and there really aren't. Like I, one of the things that I did on the YouTube channel a little while back was I did something that I started calling ASPE interviews, where I just, when I meet someone, I just had a chat with them, I'd record it, I'd put it on, put it online. And I thought, this is a fantastic way to get real people, you know, on into the public eye so that you can see what autism looks like in real life. And as I was doing this with my friends, eventually I recognized, well, not all of them identify with that word ASPE at all. And does that mean that I now don't share their part of the story? Because they're on, you know, in a different kind of category, like, but they're not, they didn't feel like a different category. So, yeah, it was just getting really confusing. And the overlap was, yeah, getting confusing. And I find that there, I was really surprised to find how much I can resonate with other people's stories, even if they didn't identify in exactly the same way as I did. Because in the very first moment for me, I originally identified as an engineer. And I attributed all of my characteristics to, well, I'm an engineer, engineers are supposed to be that type of type of person, like the 16 personalities. Yeah, have you ever done that test before? I have. And it keeps changing. I did it again after COVID. Apparently I'm an extrovert now, because I want to leave the house. Yes, well, you must be an extrovert. It's really weird. I used to be something like the thinker, something when I was a lot younger. And like, sort of going through life and sort of finding sort of passion and sort of meaning in understanding people, understanding emotions. I think over time, like my personality has shifted quite a bit. I used to be very sort of, you know, logic is king. You know, emotions are just annoying. I used to very much have that sort of mentality about things. And now I'm more of the INFJ, like the advocate type, which I thought was really fitting. It always really surprises me just like how accurate those 16 personalities quiz can be. It's not like 100%, but it's pretty spot on in a lot of cases. Although I do sit very neatly in between introvert and extrovert. So, you know, if I factor in sort of a difference of my choice on some of the introvert, extrovert questions, I could be considered a different one. So it's interesting. Yeah, that's definitely part of my story as well, because I thought my way into the emotions, if that makes sense. And for a long time, I actually did a video on this and my emotional intelligence journey. And for a long time, I was sitting on the sidelines, watching people, trying to figure out what was going on. I had this similar problem that I was talking about before that from the outside, I couldn't really see what was going on. Because all of the social stuff was happening on the inside that I couldn't see. And so it wasn't until I got my dreadlocks and then suddenly found myself on the inside of all of these social groups that I sort of discovered that world through practice rather than through observation. So your dreadlocks were sort of an inter-certain social groups? Yeah, that was part of my story is that after I got dreadlocks, how other people treated me changed radically overnight. All of a sudden, I was being talked to and being invited to things and being included in things. And I went from being boring, shy, and awkward to someone that people actually come up and talk to and interact with. It's really weird how sort of modifications to your sort of outside appearance can sort of influence how people treat you. It's like I used to be treated very much as like a, I used to be infantilized quite a lot when I was younger because I wasn't like, I was quite sort of skinny. I didn't really pay much attention to my fashion. I didn't like, you know, my hair was just like overgrown and I just didn't pay much attention to it. And now it's really weird growing a beard, putting muscle on. People very much have different sort of reactions to you. So I find that when I was younger, I used to have a lot of female friends. But nowadays, it's really, really difficult for me to make female friends.  And I was at the gym the other day, I was like, my head in sort of the way I can listen to my music. I've got these noise-canceling earbuds in and I was just going out and I didn't want to talk to anyone. And then I had like a couple of people come up to me and I was just like, please go away. I need to focus on getting through it. It was, yeah, it's, they can have some, some, some changes. And I think that's a really good sort of transition, I guess, to the topic of the podcast because you've been on an emotional social journey and I'd say that probably I have as well. I guess what I want to ask is what aspects of autism do you think make it hard for us to meet our emotional needs? That's a huge question. There are quite a few aspects of autism that makes it hard to meet our emotional needs. Let's go from the top down. Most of the way that human beings meet their emotional needs is by socialising and by having strong social networks. So if for whatever reason you find it hard to do what everyone else around you is doing and have strong social connections, then it's going to be difficult to meet those needs because it's hard to have a strong social network if you don't do the same things as the people around you. A great example of this is just if you, if you need something in terms of information, or maybe I need help moving house, or I don't know, fixing a water system or something, something happens and I don't know how to deal with it, if I have a social network, then I'll ask one of my friends or I'll ask my family and they will say, Oh, well, when that happened to me, I did this. And then, and I'll put you in touch with the plumber that I used or something. And all of a sudden that's problem is solved instantly through the passive help of the social network. And I didn't have to know where to go to find the help because I had this sort of supportive network around me. So I suppose as well, like if you have that sort of social network around you, like a lot of the ways that a lot of, you know, just observing other people, a lot of the ways that they seem to sort of process and get free emotions is by talking to people about them, you know, like having sort of like that outside in kind of view on it. I don't know a lot of, there's not a lot of people that I know that can just kind of sit free and just sort the stuff out on their own without, you know, talking to other people. Well, that's how we're designed to sort this stuff out. It's, that's how human beings have coped for a very, very long time is in groups relying on each other. And so it's near and impossible to do that by yourself. Now, in terms of what a successful like autistic social network will look like, it does, it's obviously going to look different. But we still need to have some friends, some social network, some way to tap into those resources. Otherwise, it's going to make everything really, really hard. So for, I mean, I hear a lot from people every once in a while, things like making friends is too hard. It's not worth the effort. I've, I'm just going to give up, basically, I'm going to focus my energy on looking after myself because it's too hard to make friends. And that's a really sad story, because it doesn't normally end well. It is very, very difficult to get by without that at all. I think there's a really, you know, obviously secondary school doesn't tend to be the most pleasant experience for a lot of, or high school doesn't seem to be the most pleasant experience for a lot of autistic people. But I found that, you know, that a lot of the systems that we have in place specifically in the UK are set up and surrounded, surrounding these younger people, like, you know, early, early ages up to, up until like late teens. The issues that seem to come up quite a lot is that transition from teenagehood to adulthood, you know, because when you go through sort of a school experience, or around your parents, that those environments that you put in a sort of to a certain degree controlled, like, you know, that you're going to be around people during these certain times. But if you go after university, if you move out, you're in a whole different new place. And the responsibility for setting up social events and social times and and times to talk to people is on you. And like, you know, for some people, it's it can be really, really difficult to sort of know where to go to find people to be friends with, but also how to go about it. Do you do you do go up? Like for me, I used to go up to people and say, hey, do you want to be friends? So like, you know, that very direct way of making friends with people obviously didn't work. It was cringy, but I think that that time, especially for me, was was was a very difficult time. And the stakes are a lot higher too. I mean, if you don't successfully make friends at high school, no one's going to kick you out of home because you didn't make friends at high school. But if you don't do the adequate social things at work and you don't form good relationships and you lose your job and you've got no money, well, maybe if you don't pay your rent for a couple of months, they're gonna, you know, there's going to be serious consequences for that. So so these these are just a couple of examples of where it might not be immediately obvious to everyone how emotions and emotional intelligence are absolutely crucial for these types of things, things like making friends, things like keeping a job. But it's all to do with managing relationships and managing relationships is the most complex thing that we do as human beings. So it relies on a few other emotional intelligence skills that not everyone has developed because we weren't taught how to how to develop. Yeah. So the education system, the socialization is it's all geared towards people who are not like us, you know, and especially if you don't get picked up as autistic.  But, you know, a lot of people don't get picked up. And they sort of have to go through that that experience. And oftentimes learn things the hard way. And, you know, talking to a lot of autistic women, it also seems that that masking can be a really big roadblock because, you know, people can perhaps mimic, learn and mirror different social skills and fit themselves neatly into a specific social group that they want to be in. But they don't really feel that that genuine connection, that ability to share things that they love, that ability to connect to people on a deeper level and share how they really feel inside. That's a really good outside inside example. Again, the mimicking and camouflaging and things like that. You're doing all the things on the outside, but it's not being matched by what those things, how the other people are actually feeling. So I remember figuring out much later in life, probably my late 20s, the reason people dance is because they actually feel good when they're dancing. Who knew? How was I supposed to know that? I just thought people did it because you were, I don't know, I had no idea to be honest.  Turns out people actually feel good in their body while they do that sometimes. It's the same thing with like wearing a suit and tie and having like a formal wedding and things like, why do people do that? Turns out because a lot of people really enjoy that. Oh, that's why they do it. And it turns out that I don't enjoy that. So just naming those things and recognizing that the reason for people's behavior is because it makes them feel good means that, well, when I'm looking for behavior that's going to work for me, it needs to actually make me feel good as well. It's not just copying what everyone else is doing.   Not for everybody and especially when you're younger, people don't really tell you that you don't actually have to do that if you don't want to. There's such a big culture in the UK. I don't know about Australia, but we have a really big sort of binge drinking culture in the UK. Australia is pretty good at its binge drinking culture. You taught a little bit similar. Yeah, I think for me, I wouldn't really understand if someone said to me, they do this because it feels good because usually the way that I would approach things is, does it make sense for me to do this alongside the other things that I'm doing and can I actually do this consistently on a regular basis? Then I think another really, really big thing for me which comes up in a lot of my podcast episodes and the stuff that I do is things around Alexa Fymia. I really couldn't connect enjoyable things that I do with me feeling good, me feeling happy. I always just felt like, I made a video on YouTube three or four years ago which was called My Split Brain, where I pretty much all of my early adulthood, late teens, I felt like there was two different parts of me.  Then I had my logical brain which was in my mind, it was the best brain. It makes sense. I don't want to do things that don't make sense. I don't want to do things that aren't productive to me and I think that disconnect between my emotions and the actions and the things that I did and the things that I fought really made it hard for me to understand how other people work.  They just run about and do stuff that makes them feel good. It's like they scared me. Neurotypicals were really hard to understand. Is they're emotionally based rather than logically based? Yeah. It led to me having a lot of thoughts of superiority when I was young and I was like, well, you're going and doing this stuff because you feel good. Well, I don't do that. I'm a logical being. I'm an adult. I know what I'm doing and obviously I had a lot of work to do in terms of integrating my emotional side. That exact attitude is one of the reasons I started my emotional intelligence training course online is because I noticed that attitude a lot. I noticed it in myself. I noticed it in my colleagues, in my engineering office, the one that basically put intellect and logic above emotions and it's like, haven't we kind of evolved out of emotions? Do we really need them anymore? The answer is, yeah, we do actually. For anyone listening who is thinking yeah, but isn't logic actually significantly better? I would recommend a book called Thinking Fast and Slow. It's a really good way to understand how we have two brains that do very different things.  It is incredibly painfully heavy and slow and it does some things really well. But if you try and use it to do everyday tasks, you're going to run out of executive functioning resources and you're going to be overwhelmed by social situations and you're going to feel like there's a lot of anxiety and stress in your life because you don't have enough resources to do what everyone else seems to be doing really easily. One of the reasons for that is because we don't use the other part of our brain very effectively or efficiently. So when you start thinking about it like that, all of a sudden it's not emotional intelligence, it's brain training. I am training my emotional brain to do what I want it to do and serve me and it's like having a personal assistant or something where I just delegate all of the non-important tasks, the ones that can be done really quickly that don't need a super amount of precision and they just all get done. Things like small talk, things like other social interactions and figuring out what I feel and things like that. Just the fast emotional brain does them in an instant without any effort whatsoever without draining my intellectual capacity on Monday and everyday things. Yeah, so I mean one of the things that really separates us from animals is our ability to have that sort of higher cognition. But it actually does, as you said, it requires a lot of energy. Like a lot of the reasons why we have things like routines and habits is so that we don't have to think about things, that we just act. Like this is what we do and we do this and we feel this way and then we go and we feel that way and you know, you need the bathroom, you don't have to think, should I go to the bathroom, you just go because it's like an emotional sort of habit kind of thing. Yeah, I think that's really worth highlighting to a lot of people because as you said, I've heard that from a lot of people as well. Like whether it's from close friends, whether people are doing it sort of cognitively, like they actually, you know, actively trying to push emotions to the side or whether they just don't really think about that side of them. And I think, you know, for me, that alexifamia was massive in terms of sort of putting a blocker on my ability to feel and to connect events with emotions and to do all of that things. And you know, when I was younger, I used to think I had multiple personalities, you know, I because my outward, you know, I'd notice now and again and sort of bring myself back and sort of observe myself, you know, for information now it's different emotional states, but I thought I was having different personalities and I labeled them with different colors. I was like, yeah, I'm feeling a bit red today, which will be so I was just angry. But I thought that just because my the way that I was talking and the way that I was behaving and the things that I was thinking about was so different, I was like, I can't be the same person. Like, that's that disconnects was because crazy and me not knowing much about autism, much about alexifamia, I was trying to do all these really crazy roundabout ways of understanding my environment from that sort of logical understanding. It was it was a funny time. Let's say that at least you were recognizing that you did feel differently. Sometimes one of the barriers for people, especially in the case of alexifamia is I'm trying to check in with how I feel and I actually have no idea. For me, I'm sometimes able to do that. It's kind of weird. I did a video on what I called it emotional damping, because I've got like spring damping, not equations, well, equations as well, but like the the graphs and things from my mechanical engineering days, and I'm like, well, my damping coefficient on my emotions is really high. Anyway, so what basically what that means is really interesting. You say it because a lot of the ways that I try and explain alexifamia to people who don't understand it, you know, like, obviously, like it's really useful in interpersonal relationships with like romantic partners and things of that nature. Like for me, there's I try and describe it like most people can tell when they're 20% angry or something, they can sort of feel it, they know that it's there, they can see it in their behavior. Whereas for me, it might be like 60, 70, 80% angry. And by the time that it gets to that point, it's overwhelming. It hits me all at once. I have a shut down, I have a meltdown, I go off in a huff and have a patty about it. But up until that point, it's really just a feeling that something's not really good. And my body feels a bit weird. Like, do you have that experience? I don't know if you have the experience sometimes of not realizing until later. So something will happen. And there'll be a bit of a delay. And it's almost like all of the sort of appropriate emotions, all of the things that I could have felt immediately. I feel nothing for the moment. And then a little bit later, it might be five minutes, it might be a day, it might be a year. Suddenly they all hit me later on. And that is fantastically useful for dealing with crisis situations. Because I don't get overwhelmed. No, no, no, it's actually really useful. Because when something big happens, then I can stay focused and I can do what I need to do and I can make good decisions. And then it's not till later that all of the emotions come up and it gets overwhelming. Some people get scared or feel unsafe or something and they just lose their ability to think clearly. Whereas for me, I can usually keep my ability to stay conscious and think clearly a lot longer than most people. The downside is that it makes it harder to react instantly and emotionally and in an appropriate kind of way. Which in relationships...  Yeah, exactly. Whereas in relationships, people need you to respond in the first quarter of a second for them to feel like you care, for example. So it can come up as a challenge in relationships. Honestly, I've never thought about the crisis situation. I'd say there's been a few times in the past where that's been the case. I kind of go into this weird sort of... I get a bit zoned out, but I'm fixed on cognitively understanding what's going on and trying to get a solution. And then as you said, I'll have a shower or something. A few hours later after this event, I'll just be like, oh, my God, this is intense and breaking down. I'm going to cry. I think as well, it can be hard interpersonally when it comes to things like arguments as well. Because any situation where emotions are heightened for one person or for both parties, being able to really understand how that person's words or that person's emotions make you feel and then respond to that, it's quite important to do that. But a lot of the time, it's not something that I can personally do. So I need an hour or two or I need a couple of days where I can go back, I can really think about it, write down my thoughts, try and think about how I felt in that moment. Yeah, definitely interpersonally, especially in romantic relationships, it can be hard to navigate, especially when you don't know that it's there and that it's something that not everyone experiences and they don't understand it or they choose to ignore it. And part of the goal of emotional intelligence training is to sort of reduce that lag time so that you're having a conversation and someone says something that you find inappropriate or offensive or something or they, and instead of going or instead of saying okay and going along with it and then the next day or the next week going, hang on a minute, I wasn't really happy there, you can say something in the moment and say actually how I feel at the moment is I would prefer not to go out to dinner right now. I actually am a bit tired, I'm going to go home. Wow. And instead of it just helps making choices in the moment, it helps with relationships in terms of standing up for your own boundaries of what you are happy and not happy with. And also it means that the other person gets instant feedback as to whether something, whether you find something good or bad. Because if I tell someone, hey, remember that thing you said last week? Well, I felt this way about it. What are you talking about? It's a little bit, it's a little bit hard to train you as my friend or my partner or something else right? It's a little bit hard to train them if you're giving them feedback a week after the event. Whereas if they do something or say something and you're like, oh, that's the thing, can you please not do that or say that? Because it has this effect on me. So I suppose then they get the anxiety as well, they're like, all right, they said they're okay, they always do this, but they're not and they're going to be waiting a week or so and they're going to come back with this long paragraph of text and oh, Jesus Christ. Exactly. And if you can say you're not okay when you're not okay, that actually builds a huge amount of trust in relationships. Because it means someone can ask me and they can trust my answer. When I say yes, they can trust that I mean yes. And when I say no, they can trust that I have a good reason and that I actually mean no as well. So yeah, but it all comes down to training how to do that properly in the moment in the relationship. And that's what a lot of people have trouble with. It's really interesting. I think it'll be good to kind of go over some of the things that sort of the practical ways that people can really understand their emotional side and sort of integrate it into their lives. But I think another thing that we haven't touched on is the stuff around cognitive empathy. Because, you know, Alexa Fine here is related to us, our emotional state and ability to communicate our emotions and categorize them. Whereas cognitive empathy, or indirect communication, being able to look at someone, understand from the tonality, the body language changes, the facial expressions that they're in a certain emotional state. It's important. It's an important part of reacting to it appropriately with adaptive empathy. So it helps to understand how most people do this and then why it doesn't work for you and what you need to do instead, if that makes sense. So how most people do this is they start with the base assumption, the other person is just like me. Which means if you're crying, it means you feel the same way as you do as I do when I'm crying or it means if you are pacing around the room, it means that you feel the same way as I do when I'm pacing around the room. For most autistic people that is not a very good starting point. So we need to recognize that we probably need to check our own assumptions on that because it may be quite different. And then once we recognize that we can start to link up how the person is actually feeling with how I actually feel at another time. So the base emotions are all the same. When you're sad, it feels the same as when I'm sad. Now you might express it differently. Different things might make you sad, but we still know what that base emotion is like. So it's like we need to do one extra step with the cognitive empathy to recognize the emotion that the other person is communicating, link that to an emotion that I know what it feels like, and then link that to a situation and an expression that I would use to express that emotion. And then that way I'm translating from their behavior to something completely different in my behavior that's essentially emotionally equivalent. And making those cognitive links between the two. It's a bit of a mental gymnastics, but it is the way that we can make cognitive empathy work really well. And then once you try it, like that feels like a lot of effort to go through.  So that I can build up in my brain a database of how most people behave most of the time, which means it's like learning a second language at the, in the beginning, you're learning all this grammar and you're learning all these vocab and you're like, oh, how am I going to remember all of these things? But if you do it enough, our brains, you know, link up the patterns so that they're almost instantaneous.  And then suddenly we can do them all instantly with the code switching that would otherwise have taken us a long time. So the goal is not to keep doing those mental gymnastics. The goal is to train your fast brain to do it automatically so that it doesn't take you effort in the future. And there's a big difference between those two objectives.  I think that those, those are the times where I'm a lot better at picking up on emotional cues like that. I think that the issue for me particularly comes in when I'm feeling comfortable or that I'm around people that I'm around around a lot.  And I think some, sometimes you can get yourself into a bit of a situation where you get paranoid about, Oh, are you, are you thinking about this in the right way? Are you, are you exaggerating how they might be feeling? And I think, you know, to a certain extent that that's really sort of a useful way of sort of navigating the world from, from our perspective. But I also think, especially if you're in a relationship with a neurotypical individual that they can do a lot of stuff themselves as well. Because, you know, there will be times where you don't pick up on the fact that their tone is just a little bit different than usual, you know, because people vary how they speak and how they look and feel on a daily basis. And it's not always connected to a certain emotion. So I, you know, I think it's, it's kind of like meeting them halfway with it. Because I think that something that really helps me feel a lot more confident that I understand the situation is that they tell me, you know, I pick up on something that's maybe a bit different. I say, Are you okay? And instead of going, Yeah, I'm good. They'll say, No, I'm not, I'm not good. You know, they'll say, Yeah, I'm good. I'm like, are you sure? That's actually a really fantastic, simple strategy that I, that I teach people in my emotional intelligence course. It's around guessing and just noticing, like, even if you don't know what the right answer is, you've noticed something is here. So you say, Yeah, I noticed something is everything okay. And they'll say yes. And you'll say, Okay, because the reason I'm asking you is because it doesn't sound like you're okay. And, and then it might take one or two goes, but you'll eventually they'll eventually help you to figure out what was the thing you noticed. Because what you're noticing is there's a mismatch. Someone's saying they're okay, but they're sounding like they're not okay. And it's hard to figure out which one is correct. But that's the hard part that you that we want to get better at over time. Some people can feel really like someone's lying to them as well. Like, you know, if you if you're very sort of hyper fixated on direct communication, you don't really go with the indirect stuff. If someone says they're okay, you'll be like, cool. You just get on with stuff.  Like, so you get the issues around that. Yeah, so so even just mentioning it is a really good is a really good strategy. But what I was going to say before, just very quickly, we'll probably have to wrap up. Sure. Sure. Is that yeah, it's this kind of stuff works both ways as well. So in my coaching work, I work a lot with partners of autistic people. And a big part of that is helping them to train their brain to recognize when I come up to you and tell you in a calm voice that I'm at about 95% of my capacity, and I'm going to need to go home pretty soon. Yes. They need to recognize that that means I'm actually at 95% of my capacity. And you better do something really quickly because it's really urgent. And I know I'm not really expressing that through my emotions or words or speed of voice or emotional tone or anything at the moment. But that's because I'm trying not to get tip myself over the edge. So so they can also help with that with bridging that gap as well. And there's obviously a lot of different sort of gaps and ways of bridging communication between autistic people and neurotypicals. I think it's it's it's also, you know, really important, especially when it comes to mental health settings. No, if some if someone has a patient, there are a patient, there are psychologists, there are mental health worker, and they're autistic and the mental health worker doesn't really know much about autism. And that person comes up and says, I'm having the worst time. I am just completely depressed all of the time.  And I think, you know, there can be lots of situations like that, whether it's at school, or in the workplace, medical is a good example of people being like sent home from hospital come back when it's worse, like, I wouldn't be in emergency if it wasn't worse. This is like 10 out of 10. What do we what do we do about it? Yeah, yeah. So, um, yeah, the risk of the rambling a bit more, I think it's been really good to sit down with you. And it's, it's really nice to be able to to talk to you about self emotions and autism. And, you know, I really value a lot of the work that you've done. And obviously your your YouTube videos, where can people find you? So look up autism from the inside, you'll find me on YouTube, that's probably the first thing that'll come up. I've also got a website autism from the inside.com.au I do one on one coaching. So that's mostly for autistic adults. Sometimes parents need help working through a situation. Or the other the other big one is relationship coaching. If your partner is autistic, and you're gonna need some help navigating that and understanding their needs and common patterns and things. There's some really common patterns that I see all the time in that. And yeah, emotional intelligence, training, public speaking, various different advocacy things and training. And yeah, you'll find it all on the website. Sure. And I will put the website link down in the comments. So thank you very much for that, Paul. It's been really lovely to chat to you. And of course, if you have talking to you guys, if you have enjoyed this episode, whether you're on YouTube, hit that subscribe button, of course, give it a like. If you're on Spotify, Apple, all that stuff, give me a rating, even if it's just a star rating and no text, that is completely great. Better than nothing. And if you want to keep up to date with my life, some of the blogs, or you want to check out the videos that I make and the reels, you can find a lot of my stuff over on my Instagram page, Thomas Henley UK. And if you want to get in contact about anything to do with coaching, something that I'm going to do at some point, gonna settle my new business in April, very excited about it. Or public speaking, or modeling, anything like that, getting in touch with me through my website, thomashenley.co.uk. And with that, yeah, thank you very much for listening. How have you enjoyed the Forty Orty experience, Paul? Yeah, good. Thanks, Thomas, for inviting me. And I'm not sure exactly when this is going to be broadcast live. But another exciting piece of news is that I'll be in the UK in July this year. So I may see some people there during that time. So stay in touch for details about that. Awesome stuff. So thank you very much for listening. And I will see you all in another episode of the Forty Orty podcast. See you later, guys.


They do not know, for instance, somebody who lives in Bethlehem and works in Nazareth has to be humiliated for six hours a day, between four and six hours a day, two hours or three hours going to work, passing through the Israeli checkpoint, and another two or three hours coming back. Or that if you're indigenous Palestinian, if you're not Jewish Israeli, you cannot own land on 93% of the land controlled by Israel, forget the occupied territories. We're talking about present day Israel, pre-67. If you're not a Jewish Israeli citizen, you don't have the right to own land on 93%.  So this is the apartheid reality. If you listen to the Western mainstream media, Palestinians attacked and Israel retaliated. Israel is always retaliating. It's never initiating. So let's set the record straight. Paulo Freire, the Brazilian educator, philosopher, once said that with the initiation of oppression, violence has already begun. So violence is what the oppressor creates. Everything beyond that is a reaction to the initial violence of the oppression. The oppressed, he said, Paulo Freire said, the oppressed never initiate violence. They are the product of the oppressor's violence. So that's why our position is as a nonviolent movement that wants to end all violence. We absolutely need to address the root causes. So Palestinians in Gaza, if it were for the devastation only, yes, they would feel totally despondent, totally hopeless under siege for 14 years. As you said, Israel at one point counted the per capita calories going into Gaza. I mean, imagine per capita calories. And one senior Israeli official said, Vice Class said, he was one of the top advisors to Sharon, Prime Minister Sharon. He said, we want to put the Palestinians on a diet to bring them to the verge of death, but we don't want them to die. It doesn't look good. Of course, to him, it doesn't look good on CNN and BBC, but it's bringing them to the verge. That's the criminality. That's the intentional criminality of the Israeli regime of oppression. If it were just to that, yes, if I were living in Gaza, one of the two million Palestinians, mostly refugees expelled in 1948 from their homes and farms and lands, I would feel totally hopeless. But Palestinians also feel that we are resisting as a whole people, not just Palestinians in historic Palestine, also Palestinians in exile. And this time around, around the world, solidarity is much, much higher. We can go into more details, but to me, as someone who has been following that work and working a lot on the international solidarity with our people's struggle for liberation, it is unprecedented. I underline unprecedented. We've never seen the level of solidarity that we're seeing today in the top echelons of influence from Hollywood to the music industry, to the sports, to academia, to culture. I mean, everywhere, we're seeing enormous support, trade union support, workers, farmers, unions in India, South Africa, poor workers. It's just an amazing level of solidarity, effective, meaningful solidarity, beyond the huge marches on the street, which are important, but insufficient. So we're seeing effective solidarity. Finally, the world is seeing Israel for what it is, an apartheid state. It's not just that Salem Israel's biggest human rights organization saying it's an apartheid state. It's not just human rights watch. It's not just so many Palestinians for decades saying it's an apartheid state. Now the whole world is recognizing in the US Congress, the belly of the beast. Congressmen and women are coming out and saying Israel is an apartheid state. This is totally new. This is unprecedented in the history of solidarity with Palestine. People in Gaza, little children that you see on TV come out and say, thank you, X, you know, their favorite football player in Manchester United or thank you, X artist, musician, because they know them by name and suddenly they see them holding aside Free Palestine or tweeting Free Palestine and they feel, you know what, we're winning this. Yes, it can happen in our lifetime and we are gathering grassroots power to make it happen.  This means ethical coexistence with justice. Ethical coexistence is exactly the project of my life, the intellectual project of my life that I'm doing a PhD on ethical decolonization. That's exactly what I'm doing. So no one throws anyone out. It's dismantling the structures, the power structures of apartheid and settler colonialism so that Palestinians can have justice and average Jewish Israeli can have a normal life not as an oppressor and not as oppressed either as a normal citizen of a joint common state with equal rights for everyone, including the refugees.


The signal oil program The whistler at whistle is your signal for the signal oil program The whistler. I am the whistler and I know many things for I walked by night I know many strange tales hidden in the hearts of men and women who have stepped into the shadows Yes, I know the nameless terrors of which they dare not speak Yes friends, it's time for the signal oil program the whistler Rated by independent research the most popular West Coast program in radio history and Signal gasoline is tops to tops in quality It takes extra quality, you know to give you extra mileage and signal is the famous go farther gasoline So look for the signal circle sign in yellow and black that identifies friendly dealer-owned signal service stations from Canada to Mexico And now the whistler strange story fateful Friday Friday May 16th seemed like any one of the 512 Fridays, Mr. Brown had spent as an employee of Crandall and Ames Certified public account with a morning ride to his office on the crowded subway Deadly hours over an adding machine Interrupted only by the usual cheese on rye and glass of milk in the company cafeteria The ride down from the 40th floor of the Crandall building in the crowded elevator at three minutes past five After his work was over and the usual Friday remarks to his fellow employees Night Brown night George have a nice weekend saying to you. See you Monday Frank Yeah, another day another dollar Same floor. Thanks, Steve. Say hello to your family And as usual on Fridays, Mr. Brown You weave through the crowd in the lobby to the door of the gourmet a rather elegant tobacco liquor and food shop a Glittering storehouse of delicacies of fine wines and good living Good evening, Elsie. Glad you stopped in tonight. I was gonna call your office We've just got a shipment of French champagne Berkeley coal. Oh, Berkeley coal good for vintage 1929 1929 not bad, but there are better vintages Elsie 1921. That's the vintage. I'm looking for You'll let me know of course, of course, Mr. Brown now Here's something you've asked about a jar of that very fine caviar. Yes, let's see it Elsie and cased within every one of these tiny eggs is a paradise of exquisite flavor Yeah, yes here. We really have something Just hold that for the time being certainly Mr. Brown and Here are some of those clear Havana's that just came in $2 specials. Yes, I see Tell you what Elsie just for tonight. Why don't you give me a couple of those two for 15 cent Mr. Brown like good there was too much rain in 1929 for good champagne and so on are they true Any true connoisseur knows there were 27 inches of rain that year too much for good champagne I don't understand how somebody like you. I mean you mean Why does a man who earns 45 dollars a week bother to learn about things he'll never be able to afford I Don't know Elsie, but doesn't it make you unhappy? Knowing and not having I'm going to have it someday Elsie you know Someone said a man can have anything he wants If he wants it bad enough and I do Yes, that's the cross you bear isn't it mr. Brown Trying to reconcile the appetites of a gourmet with a bookkeeper's budget With a drab bachelor apartment you come home to after a stifling ride on the subway And yet dull as it seemed this Friday is a remarkable one Set apart in a curious way from all the other Fridays in your uneventful little life as the kind of a day That will prove exciting things can happen even to people like you As you walk into your apartment building you have no way of knowing of course That in reaching into your mailbox in the lobby you're putting your hand on something that will change your whole life A Moment later you toss your hat on the table in the living room Slit open the largest and fattest of the envelopes in your mailbox It's then that you see it and clutch the table for support as a cascade of currency pours out onto the floor Then find yourself on your knees staring at it feeling it and counting thousand two five seven You go on counting piling it up 18,030 and then a scribbled note here is the forty grand Good luck Mike Forty-fifty thousand, but where did it? My mailbox you study the envelope. There are no stamps no return address Someone obviously dropped the money in your box by mistake You shove the money aside leave your apartment and go back to the lobby Trying to make sense out of it knowing the money can't belong to you The answer is there waiting for you on the row of mailboxes Particularly on the card in the end with a newly penciled notation over apartment 12 another William Brown You stand there a moment staring blankly at the card then without quite knowing why you find yourself walking upstairs On up to apartment 12 just above yours and even as you ring the buzzer Something inside is telling you of the doors that money could open of the new world waiting for you If you had the nerve of how easy it would be with $40,000 in cash unmarked with no strings attached X Excuse me. I I'm afraid I have the wrong apartment The voice inside was a telling one wasn't it mr. Brown You've made your decision now, and you know there's only one way to go from here on You forget about dinner sit alone in your apartment for the next two hours looking at the money Wondering what you're going to say when the man upstairs starts asking questions Your first impulse is to move out of the apartment But you decide it's best for the moment to stay to go on as usual as if nothing had happened To give the man upstairs as little reason as possible to suspect you and then just after eight o'clock Just a minute that's right. Sorry to bother you my name's brown, too I just moved in a few days ago. Oh, I was worried that you might be inconvenienced. That's quite a coincidence You know what do you mean? It seems there's not only two Browns in the building. There's two William Browns, too We got the same first name.  I hope they haven't been disturbing you coming here by mistake Oh, no, and there's a matter of fact until the mailman gets on to it I'm liable to get some of your mail and Vice versa It hasn't happened so far. I wouldn't let it bother me if I will you I see You know once in a while I get something kind of important to business stuff and all I Wouldn't want to see anybody make a mistake. Oh, no You know a little thing like that can be pretty serious sometimes but with the postal authorities and all see here Are you implying that I might know don't get me wrong just thought a friend of mine might have got mixed up You know how it is. I'm expecting an important envelope from him And just forget it mr. Brown tonight tonight mr. Brown $40,000 With the prologue of fateful Friday the signal oil company is bringing you another strange story by the whistler But now a tip to you drivers Here's a way you can be sure you're picking the gasoline that'll get top performance from your car the gasoline That stops in quality Just remember these two points One in gasoline it takes extra quality to go farther and to signal is the famous go farther gasoline Consider the fact the only way any gasoline can put more thrilling performance into your car is by helping your motor run more Efficiently and when your motor runs more efficiently naturally you get better mileage So mileage is really the best yardstick of gasoline quality That's why signals good mileage is so important to you And it's why throughout the west from Canada to Mexico more and more drivers every day are filling up with signal At those friendly dealer-owned signal stations After all remember those two points one in gasoline it takes extra quality to go farther and To signal is the famous go farther gasoline and Now back to the whistler Yes, it was a fateful Friday wasn't it mr. Brown the simple mistake at the apartment house mailboxes that placed $40,000 in your hand But there's a string attached to it Yes The small matter of the rightful owner of the money the other mr. William Brown upstairs in apartment 12 Your first impulse was to run away wasn't it mr. Brown Until you began to think how the man upstairs Might begin putting things together and there was something about him that told you he was not the kind to take this lying down But there are a few things you can do one of them Of course is to call it the little gourmet shop first thing Monday morning Good day, I'll see what can I do for you? Perhaps the case of that very fine brandy you're so fond of let me see a bottle of course sir here you are Hmm Excellent good district exactly the right age tell you what I'll see I think we'll open this bottle right here Mind if I borrow this corkscrew Now two glasses, please brandy snifters of course if anyone should see us mr. Brown I'll pour Elsie you and I are going to sample this A vote for a more son pay that's French for your very good health delicious Elsie first rate But if mr. Brown that bottle cost 1995 indeed very reasonable at that rate Elsie I believe I'll take the case have it delivered COD will you you know the address Does it well that takes care of all the measurements. Thank you Herman Herman's our best tailor. I don't go away. Haven't we may want something else That's a beautiful suit mr. Brown the newest thing out And that pinstripe gives you height. Oh, yes. Yes, it does And we can have it ready for you one say wednesday. I don't know fine. Thank you very much I'll help you into the other things and the way I'm not through I'd also like something in the tweed and perhaps cashmere. Oh, of course, Mr. Brown. Sit right down, sir I'll bring some things out. How very this I'll just be a moment take your time Is uh this today's paper? Yes, the noon edition The things that are going on in this town. Look at that headline $40,000 held key in highway shooting What is this I knew the fella that got shot Mike McKee and I made a suit for him one what What sort of business was it? Oh, you know What kind aren't they in the crowd that Mike ran around with had a string on all the ragged I see but look how they end up with a bullet in the back. Yes Says here. He was alive when the police found him Died though before he could tell him enough just something about 40 grand he delivered to somebody Only the other fellow claimed he never got it and shot him Terrible isn't it people like that running around lucia never know here we are mr. Brown everything you'd ever want to choose from imported tweed cashmere Look some other time I know I forgot there's something I have to do. Just alter this first suit and send it out. I'll be back Well, you know best Yes, mr. Brown, you do know best Because there isn't any question in your mind that the shooting of mike mckeen described in the paper is directly related to your 40 000 It's strange isn't it how you've come to look upon the money is yours now How you resent the strings attached to it the man in the apartment above you the struggle It must have taken place when mike mckeen was shot But you've long since decided that it isn't going to do them any good If the trail leads back to you you're going to have an answer to their question But one false step always requires another doesn't it mr. Brown And that's why shortly after leaving the clothing store You'll find yourself talking to a shoddy little man in an equally shoddy shop on the lower east side And just what kind of a gun that you have in mind shoddy Oh, I don't know something small compact and automatic perhaps What about the one in the case here on the end 32 nice little automatic Dependable and that ought to do like see it Here you are Secondhand of course, but it's a good buy. It's fine. I'll take it Just like that Okay, let's see now. I'm supposed to write your name down there. Uh, what is it? Why uh CJ uh wilson That'll be 25 hours, mr. CJ Wilson 24 the gun and five for not asking questions And there's something else isn't there mr. Brown Even with this new protection The incident and the newspapers tells you that now you've got to move out of the apartment no matter what suspicions it might around And late that night you slip into the apartment building hurry down the corridor to let yourself in You're about to put the key in the lock when mr. Brown Oh, it's mr. Brown. That's right. I uh waiting for you. Oh I thought we ought to have another little chatter, but it's so late. I don't see why whatever it is can't wait You can't wait at all mr. Brown Come on. Well, where are we going upstairs? We can talk much better in my apartment. Look mr. Brown There's no point not going round and round about this like I said. I made one mistake I don't want to make another I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know what you're talking about at all Well, the most important thing i'm talking about is 40 000 dollars. That's Quite a sum isn't it? Yeah, a man could do quite a bit on 40 g's buy things travel That's what I intended to do I uh Sort of need to travel mr. Brown your health my uh health Too bad. Yeah You know mr. Brown You're good really good. I Don't understand. Oh, yes, you do It's as simple as those two names on the mailboxes downstairs Remember I said I might get some things intended for you. Oh, yes, and I might get some things intended for me Now how about it? Want to give it back You know this doesn't make sense why I never knew there was that much money in the world until last friday Then you found out different. I didn't find out anything you say you made a mistake You're making another one accusing me. I'm only accusing you of being human mr. Brown You know with a little weakness as all of us have Well, I'd have done the same thing you did. I didn't do anything skip it I just had to be sure this time. That's all Mike mccain was right when he told me put the money in the mailbox I made a mistake with mike, but I won't make a mistake with you is that well You're full of surprises aren't you? Even bought yourself a gun. It's loaded. I'm sure of it. And I I'm not afraid to use it. Not there. I'm not so sure Let's be reasonable about this mr. Brown. Don't come near me. I'll shoot. We'll write off what you've spent so far Let's have the gun like a good I said I do it Yes, mr.  Brown. Oh, this is mr. Simkins the manager I wonder if you could come down to my office right away your office, but I'm not dressed. It's really very important All right I'll come down This brown who was killed was beyond me. I never knew what he did or what his business was just a minute Good morning. Oh, oh, this is the other william brown lieutenant. Hello. How do you do? Something wrong, I'd say so Uh, you were pretty sound sleeper mr. Brown. What? Oh, I'm sorry. I hear anything unusual last night. Well, I don't know I Uh, about 11 o'clock. Well, I was in bed, of course Oh You said 11. Oh, that's right 11. Yes. I remember I looked at the clock I I heard a door slam upstairs and somebody running past my door Mm-hmm Is that all? Yes, that's all. I thought it was probably one of mr. Brown's friends What do you know about mr. Brown's friends? He came to me the other day. He said he hoped his visitors wouldn't get our names confused He he he told me he had a lot of noisy friends. I had indeed Uh, any particular reason why you use the past tense there? I I know What's the matter? What about it mr. Simpkins? Well No, not this mr. Brown. He couldn't have done it Okay, see here. I wish you'd tell me. Sorry mr. Brown.  Brown? His name wasn't brown. It was marco victor marco He was in the kind of business where people do get killed from time to time You understand lieutenant. I had no way of knowing when I let him have the apartment Yeah, he came here to hide out, of course That's a revenge job And I think I can put my finger on the guy who did it if the thing has kept quiet That means neither of you say anything to anybody about this until you see it in the papers. Is that clear? Yes, yes, okay Thanks to both of him and mr. Brown Yes, I'm sorry. I was a little short with you. That's quite all right However, mr. Stimkins with this sort of thing going on here. I I'm afraid I'll have to move I'm awfully sorry mr. Brown. I don't blame it. It was me. I'd leave too And I wouldn't stop with this apartment either. I'd leave the whole downtown flat The whistler will return in just a moment with a strange ending to tonight's story Meantime a message especially for you drivers who have new cars or expect to be getting one Just any motor oil won't do, you know for today's high efficiency motors. No, sir They need special protection against corrosion wear and carbon If they're to give you the long trouble-free service you have a right to expect That's why signal has brought out a new and finer motor oil Especially created to give modern motors this extra protection signal premium motor oil Of course, it has 100 pure paraffin base But in addition signal premium contains five scientific new compounds The result motors actually stay six times cleaner cylinder wear is reduced one third with signal premium motor oil So if you want to keep the performance of your car young Make your next oil change a change for the better Switch to the new type signal oil That's your guarantee of a sweeter running motor signal premium motor oil And now back to the whistler It's hard to believe, isn't it mr.  Brown. Yes, I hope you don't mind the intrusion See here now. Well, what do you want? I'm sure Mike mccain's friend you've heard of me victor Victor What are you talking about? I'm not victor. You've made a mistake. You made the mistake victor out there on the highway What highway listen, I tell you my name's brown. I don't know anything about Mike mccain was a nice guy Victor Mike said he delivered that dough. I know he did You got it.  Look. Look at this apartment. Does it look like I have money? Boys told me victor was living here under the name of william brown. He he was upstairs There were two william browns here. Here is my business card. W. T. Brown Crandall and ames I I haven't any money. I'm just a clerk there make 45 a week Listen, are you on that level? Yes, I tell you the other william brown the one upstairs Right there. I'll get it for branding. Mr. Brown gourmet shop sign right here. You got the wrong Hey, how much is there 230 dollars each? Here's your soup, mr. Brown wins the morning right on the nose They're holding the tweet and cashmere for you. But I a c.o.d $118 on this one. I'm sorry boys. Mr. Brown can't take care of it right now. Uh, try tomorrow But mr. Brown and this is c.o.d. Too. We can't make another trip just for schibbit No money, huh Just a poor working stiff They tell me you always did live well victor Fancy suits Brandy by the case You You'll never get away with it. Yeah, yeah, no They'll pick me up all right But one more is not going to make any difference Except to my friend mike mccheon Yeah Yet a mic it'll make a lot of difference So long victor This time your expensive taste caught up with you Let that whistle be your signal for the signal oil program the whistler Each monday at this same time Brought to you by the signal oil company marketers of signal gasoline and motor oil and fine quality automotive accessories Signal has asked me to remind you To get the most driving pleasure drive its sensible speeds be courteous and obey traffic regulations It may save a life Possibly your own Featured in tonight's story were herb butterfield and jack moils The whistler was produced by george w allen with music by wilbur hatch and was transmitted to our troops overseas by the arm forces radio service This is marvin miller speaking for the signal oil company. This is cbs the columbia broadcasting system


Let us start asking ourselves what is fission? Fission is the process that powers the sun and our motivation here is to reproduce this process on earth in a controlled way. If we're able to do that we'll have at our disposal a clean and unlimited source of energy that can change humanity forever. Fission is about the reaction of two hydrogen atoms and it's practical and limited because it requires deuterium and lithium and they can easily be extracted from sea water. It's also clean because it does not produce emissions and it's also safe because we can easily stop the fission reaction. On earth fission will be reproduced on fission reactors and the core of the fission reactor is the plasma that you have on your right where the fission reaction takes place. Unfortunately nowadays there are still so many open technological issues related to the design of efficient fission reactors. For this reason as you probably know there is an international project called ETER that has been launched. ETER aims to build the largest ever fission reactor which will serve as a large-scale scientific experiment to gain all the knowledge that we require to make fission a reality by 2014. But I have to say that now ETER is under construction and some experiments will only be available by 2013. It poses a real problem for the success of the whole fission roadmap. The reason is that we don't have the knowledge and we don't have the experiments to gain that knowledge. Let me put you an example. Tritium an isotope of hydrogen is required for the fission reaction but tritium cannot be obtained from nature. As a result the fission reactor must produce all the tritium that it needs to operate and engineers have some ideas about how to attain that but the validation experiments for their technological concepts will only be available by 2030. In this situation the development of virtual fission labs is a must because we cannot wait so long for the real experiments. With regard to the simulation of these fission reactors I have to say that they involve multiple scales like in turbulent flows as a smoke and also multiple physics which make these simulations extremely hard. They require the most advanced medical algorithms but also huge computational resources. Fission research takes benefit from exploiting the larger supercomputers today. A supercomputer is a set of processors that are interconnected and current supercomputers have about one million processors but in the near future we expect a 100 times improvement in terms of peak performance of supercomputers. This improvement will not be based on faster processors it will be based on a much larger number of processors. By 2020 we expect to have at our disposal the excess scale supercomputers with billions of processors. If we are able to efficiently exploit these excess scale supercomputers we will be able to run current simulations much faster or simply solve problems that are out of reach now. For instance we will be able to perform the whole simulation of a plasma in a fission reactor like ITER which is out of reach now. Proficially exploit billions of processors is a very challenging task. Our research is about the development of radical and new numerical algorithms that will perfectly fit to the underlying hardware of these excess scale supercomputers. If we succeed this research will lead to advanced simulation tools that will allow engineers to validate their technological designs like for instance in region production without the need to wait so long for the real experiments. So summarizing advanced simulation on excess scale supercomputers will be very important for the success of fission and to finally bring the power of the sand to earth. But I have to say that our research is very transversal and can also be applied to many other physical phenomena. As an example in the frame of clean energy related problems large scale scientific computing is and will be very important for the simulation of your thermal reservoirs CO2 sequestration modeling or wind farms just to mention some examples. So thank you very much for your attention.


I hate heights That's why I tell you project Yeah, they are forcing me to do this Let's have to face mafia and then Yeah man, here we don't have to fight More than nervous Yeah Mr. Ghanapapi We're still here in the kingdom of a Swatini I mean today is exact I mean today's the last day in this country And I'm gonna do something that I've never ever done I mean the scariest thing That I will ever do I never knew that they would come I'll be going for a count of you tour Or a zipline But you need to go out of your comfort zone We just got dressed up and now How do you call this one Most of you who knows Just gonna use this car Take us to the place Yeah, let's see If you get there and I think I'm not gonna do it I'll just say goodbye I'm not gonna joke about this one Most of you think I'm scared I'm ready for this Let's go and have fun Yeah man, we are here After 20 minutes drive now we need to walk The ladies actually said it's 10 minutes easy walk Is that true that it's gonna be easy walk Well, it's my first time here It's your first time here, what do you expect What are your expectations Well she said it's 10 minutes So practically she means Is it your first time First count of you walk Yeah it is What are your expectations Seeing the great view And seeing the wild animals You're not scared I'm super scared For real, but I just have to face Because of YouTube views Good job Even the count of you walk I feel like the count of you walk is not that worth it I'm seeing in here Yo my eyes man I don't even know how to explain this What I'm seeing Yo I always say that Africa is the garden of Eden Whether you believe it or not I wish I have my drone here To show you what I'm seeing Yo Hey boss, you can't put all the things into my pants My pants will come out This is the beginning I'm taking any selfie I just don't know why I came here I don't know why I came here Yo I mean Thank you so much for watching In case if I don't make it to the end Yeah I mean just Okay guys All in all you are going to be clipped in 3 points Yo Who me Ah the lady Yo please I thought you are calling me, you scared me Where are you going to start You can see what she is saying You took off from the back Just want to be the last You are going to be clipped in 3 points The cow's tail and the policers on the main cable And the back rope liners on the safety cable You will be in a sitting position Like to learn With your weak hand You will hold the constant together With the quick draw With your strong hand You keep it loose rolling behind the police You keep it loose rolling behind the police Do not put your hand on top Or in front of the police Just keep it loose rolling behind the police You can do it You can do it Remember to break Remember to break Break where When you get to the end But I am myself Somebody is going to push you I want to learn How does he break Hey You don't see Don't try to turn me Don't try to turn me Don't try to turn me Don't try to turn me Don't try to turn me I need to take it easy Come on Come on Don't try to turn me Don't try to turn me Ready to go Forced me but if you really like adventures and you want to go out of your comfort zone, I mean just come and try it out. I'm not ready for this bad day. Let's go on it. Are you go? Do you have to go? Or you come with us? Why do I hold this one? Obviously you want to go. One hand, hold them together. Hold them together. No, you people, no, no, no, no. Yes, who's crying now? Who's crying? Yeah, come. How you forgot myself, right? Who's crying? Who's crying? Yo, is that? Yes, that's how it... Oh, you changed. I think it's the last one. No, that's eight. No. That's the last one. That's not mine. You can go the last and the longest one. Thank you. Second last one. Second last one. No, no, that's the last one. Thank you. I'm done. I'm not doing this again. This is going to be there. I think it was fun. It's fun when you are on it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when before... Same thing with punching. Punching. Yeah, with you just before the push. Okay. It's the scariest thing ever. But once you were there. No, no, no. I saw people doing bounty jumping in Zambia Zimbabwe border. Yeah, wake back up. Yo. Yeah. How was it of moving? Yo. Oh my... How long have you been working here? It's my first time today. First time today? Okay, come down this side. All right. Have water there. Oh, thank you. Yes. Thank you. All right. Yo. Man, this is like the only one I can say I have really enjoyed. Please go up. Just go up, please. Yes. Should you step down. Follow him. Until you can take some water with you. Just take water. Yeah. You know what? I love what I did. And trust me, I just want to do this over and over again. No, no, no, no, no. You don't. We know it all. Unless... Unless... If I want to do this again. No, we know it all. Unless somebody push me into his bag and then take me by force. Never again. Let me go home. Hi. Never. Never. Never. I would never do this. Thank you so much for watching. And... I'm not going to do this anymore. What? Jesus Christ. I mean, we got to go back and this actually cost 750 rounds. So... Yeah. If you love adventures, come try it out. It's time to go back home. Shower, eat. Let's see.


The Central Statistical Office reopens in time to lead the local observance of World Statistics Day 20th October 2020. Closure of the office earlier this month was prompted by a number of employees within the unit reporting flu-like symptoms. Permanent Secretary Claudius Immanuel has confirmed that these individuals have since tested negative for the coronavirus. Back at work, statistics officials are leveraging World Statistics Day to sensitize the public on the upcoming population and housing census. Details in this report. The Central Statistical Office promotes participation in the upcoming population and housing census 2020, as it observes Caribbean and World Statistics Day 15th and 20th October respectively. Inter at the Central Statistical Office, Sean Mathura, indicates that progress on the population and housing census 2020 was disrupted by COVID-19. Prior to the pandemic, he says the unit made significant headway with preparations. We were at a very advanced stage in our preparations for census. We had just concluded a significant activity, which would have prepared us to actually be able to commence with the data collection, to start getting ready to do the actual data collection. But unfortunately, with the COVID-19, we had to halt all our preparatory activities. We're just hoping that when we're able to recommence our preparations, that we'll be able to do so with the same momentum that we had just prior to the outbreak of the COVID-19. The theme for this year's statistics day is connecting the world with the data we can trust. The public is encouraged to cooperate with enumerators when the Central Statistical Office is able to conduct field data collection operations. We rely on the cooperation of the public to provide that information. What I would like to also bring out is that we're mandated by our statistics act to ensure that it relates to confidentiality. That's something that we take very seriously at the statistics act, at the statistics department. So while we have the mandate and the responsibility to compile and produce and collect statistics, we need that we rely on the cooperation of the general public to do so and to be able to effectively and successfully carry out that mandate. Most activities to observe statistics day are cancelled due to reviewed COVID-19 protocols on Island. However, interested persons can visit the Central Statistics Office at the Finance Administrative Center to view a display of statistical products and information on the population and housing census. The objective of this as well as virtual engagements by the unit is to advance the awareness of statistics and its significance to the development of the country.


Hey everybody, it's Harish Swaminathan from optiontiger.com. It's Tuesday, July 9th, and we are looking at our swing trades here. First, before we go to the swing trades, you can see the ES charts and very close to the 3000 mark on the S&P. It's been turned back and as you can see today also the futures are down about 10 points and this is the ES. If you looked at the SPX which is the actual index itself, you can see that it did not breach 3000. It came to 29.95 and that's close enough for some resistance to build up and that's exactly what we are seeing here. But now I'll go back to the slash ES and you can see there's a downtraft coming and so this battled at 3000. I mean this could last many, many weeks and so anyway, so let's take a look at our positions. Now Shopify was up a lot yesterday and even now it's up a thousand dollars on my position of three contracts. So this is also a trade I'm going to take off today. So this will be approximately a 20% return again over here. All right, so today we closed Shopify at 1320, so it made an additional 200 bucks. So that's about a $1,200 profit on Shopify which is about a 25% return. So that was very good. Also now you can see Facebook was up nicely today so that's up 925. And so if you look at the position itself, that's about a 40% return right there. And so tomorrow I'll be taking Facebook off and I'll also be taking Visa off because as you can see Visa is a debit spread. Now even the short call might go in the money and so the long call is already in the money. And so this is about a $700 profit which is excellent for this debit spread. So this would be about a 50-60% return if you just look at the debit spread cost. So those two trades also will take off tomorrow, these two and Shopify was a great exit today at about 25% and $1,200 profit. Thanks.


The Williams and Farmers Market held their seed swap and vendors show on Saturday, March 2nd. I think it's really important for stuff like this to happen in the community and it really helps the place that it takes place at and the people that are trying to move the seeds. Something that I would like to start doing honestly at our place in Huntington too. Avalachian Community Care offers outpatient medication assisted treatment for addiction, counseling and behavioral play therapy for children, accepting Medicare and all major insurance. Recovery is hard. Appalachian Community Care, Pikeville, Whitesburg,<PHONE_NUMBER>, find them on Facebook. The event featured heirloom seeds, homemade breads, woodworking products, guest speakers and food made by the wild ramp in Huntington. The event offered a venue to local artisan good makers and farmers to sell their products to the community which may otherwise not be able to get their hands on unique seeds and items. Things like this where you give people a space that may not otherwise have it and like we do at the place where we can highlight specific vendors, things and products that they sell is great for people to be able to move their stuff more efficiently. Seed swaps are important for carrying on the legacy of certain heirloom items but it is also important for the farmers and craftsmen who work so hard to make their products. For Mountain Top News, I'm Kelsea Fidell.


So hello, everybody. My name is Michael Abaman. I'm from Aspecto. And today, we're going to talk about two interesting things. We're going to talk, well, of course, about open telemetry. But also, we're going to talk about service mesh. And I think that when we're trying to see, when we combine those two things, we're going to see that they are interesting because of two reasons. So first thing, both of them can produce telemetry data, write both of them, claim that can help us to monitor to observe our application. But there is an interesting overlap that we have between the audience. So a lot of people that are interested in running open telemetry would also use service mesh. And then when you have two things that can work good together with one another and they are the same audience, that's a good match. So this is why I was interested in doing this talk. So a bit about what we're going to do here today. So I'm going to really briefly talk about what is service mesh just to make sure that everybody is aligned. But mostly I'm going to talk about where service mesh meets open telemetry and where open telemetry meets service mesh. A bit about the configurations. And lastly, to talk about what's the pros and the cons because in any technology decision there are the good stuff and there is the bad stuff and we need to talk about both. So really short, service mesh is a networking component part of your infrastructure that eventually responds about networking. And mostly I'm going to refer to service to service communication. So when your service needs to communicate with another service, you're going to communicate through this mess. And I'm going to look into three specific things that the service mesh can help you with. So the first one is going to be with observability, then routing and lastly on authentication. We try to see how we can benefit when you're using those things. So here is a very, very complex architecture. We have an older service communicating with the user service, then the author service and when they communicate with one another, they are going to communicate through a mesh. If you would go to most websites of service mesh like East Geolike, Leak and D, you would see that they would say you can get tracing out of the box. Now imagine going to your service match, going to the configuration file, turning on this magic tracing configuration and everything just works. That sounds really, really good. And I just want to put it out there and see how it really works and what you are getting and what you're not getting. So we can tell the service mesh to generate spans and here I have a, not here, here I have like a very, very simple application which I ran before we started this talk. And you can see here that I can decide whether to initialize or not initialize the tracer file. So currently what I have here, I have two service communicating with one another through Envoy and open telemetry is not activated. So looking at our example here, so I sent a request, now let's go to Yeager and let's refresh it and let's look at our proxy. And you can see here that we can see a trace where I have firstly the proxy, then I can see that I'm sending a request to the older service, but I don't see the request to the user service. So I do have spans, I do have a trace, I just don't have the context, I have a broken context. And this is a truth that I think needs to be told that if you are just enabling your service mesh to start emitting spans, you're not going to get tracing, you're going to get traces, but you're not going to get the whole tracing experience that you expect. So what you do need to do is you're going to propagate the context yourself, right? You need to implement open telemetry, you need to instrument the services and you need to take care of the context propagation. So what I'm trying to say here is that now if, and let me show it live, so you will be able to see that it actually works, but if I'll change this parameter to true, meaning that now we will have open telemetry running true, and it will take a second, then our trace will look like a whole trace, right? Now I'll be able to see everything that is happening there. So it's kind of this thing that some people may think that you can get tracing from a service mesh, but it's not actually the case because, well, you really, really need to implement open telemetry. And this is a quote from the editing docs saying that, hey, yeah, we do have tracing. However, just a tiny little bit, you still have a way to go. So what I'm saying here is when you are using service mesh, you are going to generate, you are going to implement open telemetry, but the question that I wanna ask is, is there a way around? If I am using open telemetry, I already implemented open telemetry, will it be beneficial for me to get spans from the service mesh, right? Because I have to have open telemetry, but what am I going to get when I'm going to get spans from Istio or LinkedIn? So let's take for, at least for my opinion, probably one of the most common use cases that you see with a service mesh, and that's routing. We are going to route different requests. When we are getting a request, we are going to route it differently, whether it's because we are running an AP test, a feature flagging, or I'm just running some deployment, I'm a camera deployment, and I just have two versions of the service and I need to route those things. So if you think of that from the perspective of tracing, when you look at the trace, and you see this trace and you ask yourself, well, to which version it belongs? Is it belong to the version that I already deployed? Is it the one that is going to be deployed? This has, it can be very critical. Let's say that you are deploying in performance improvement, and you expect to see a span that now is taking less time, and it's not there. It's taking the same time. Well, is it the new version or the old version? So the things that you may be able to solve using plain open telemetry, like using the distro, but looking at the data that the service mesh producer could be very, very beneficial. So this is a trace where we are routing the request and you can see those two traces. The first one is 12 spans, the second one is 13 spans, and here we have no telemetry data that is being omitted from the service mesh. This is plain open telemetry. And when I am going to add the service mesh data, and you can see it right here, now it's starting to get a bit more details, right? Now if you look at the first request, you can see here that here we communicated with service order number two and here with number one. And this is a great clue for whoever is going to observe this trace. You're going to understand, okay, now I understand what's happening. Now I understand that there is some kind of decision that there are two versions and I know which version I'm looking at. And let me try and show it to you. When it's actually running. So you see here, this is service version number one and now sending a few requests, two minute requests, service two, thank you service two. And now let's look at those and now we can see it in live. So we can see that there is a difference between them and I can understand the difference quite well. And if I'll click this one and something is happening with the timeline, so I don't know why the timeline is so off, but it's making it very, very easy for me to understand that this is a decision that the proxy took and the proxy decided to use now order number two. So what I'm trying to say here is without the service mesh data, it would be harder for me to understand this whole trace. Now another interesting use case that we can see in regarding authentication. So when you're talking about routing, this is basically saying one service is communicating with another and in the middle we had a decision that we took. But service meshes could be even more inclusive in our application. When the service mesh is responsible for the authentication, they are actually becoming part of the application. So when the client is calling an API call to the order service, we want to authenticate the user before it reaches the order service. Meaning that the service mesh is, although it's infrastructure and a networking piece, it's now responsible authenticating which is absolutely a part of the application layer. So if I would look at the trace where sending an API call, the service mesh would get that, take the call, make sure that the user is valid and only then going through the service, the trace would look like so. So I have this, a bit of a broken trace, right? I don't have a single root parent to this trace. I'm not sure exactly what's happening here. And I don't know why the user service was called. I just can see it was called. And I can see that after that we got an API call to the order service. Now if I'll ask my service mesh to emit the limitry data as well, it's going to look much better. So looking at it, let me increase that so we can all see. So now I can see the whole story. Now I can see that we sent an API call to get request.  So what I'm trying to say here is even though service mesh is the networking piece, it's part of the application. It's a fact how our application behaves. And if we're trying to observe the application and we are trying to say we can look at traces, we can look at the observability data and we can understand what's happening in the system. Well, it's part of the system. It needs to emit to limitry data so we can understand the whole thing. So just to sum up the kind of the options that you have with installing the telemetry as a whole, you can just go with implementing open telemetry disto. It probably would give you, I don't know, 90% of what you're looking for and that's great. If you're only go with service mesh, you are left with a broken context that's I guess not going to take you very, very far and you are going to have both of them. You are going to be super happy. Now, if I were ending this talk right now, we will be super happy, but we need to talk about the real stuff because everything in tech come with a bot, right? Because when we are going to introduce the service mesh and start to implement traces, bad stuff are going to happen. So let's talk about those a bit. So I'm going to talk about three things that are going to be affected. Cost sampling, specifically head sampling, and a bit about the configuration. So the first thing that we can understand is that we are going to increase the overall cost. When I'm saying cost, I don't mean like dollars you need to pay the vendor. I mean the overall cost if you manage it yourself. You are going to generate more spends. And just by introducing at least one more or even two more spends for every network activity you are going to have, this could sum up to significant cost. Now, when you're increasing the cost, you need to ask yourself, okay, what value did I get? So if the value that you're getting is significant, yeah, go for it. It makes sense. So I saw companies implementing Easter traces and the only thing that they could learn from that is what's the extra latency that Easter introduced? And that's fine. That's not tons of value. I'm not sure it works, the cost will depend on them. But when you start to really do things that like routing, like retries, like back off, like authentication, then you really need the service mesh to tell you what happened in order to understand the traces. And then I think the cost does worth it. But it's every deployment, every company need to take this decision for themselves. So this is the first thing that I think it's the bad news that we need to think about. The second one is regarding head sampling. So if you are using head sampling, you are kind of used to that they open telemetry in receiving the first decision once they're getting the request. Talking about the service mesh, the service mesh now is before your application and the service mesh is going to take the decision for you. So if you were writing a code and you said, okay, in my service, I want to not sample health checks races, it's not interesting. Now the service mesh, well, depending on the service mesh, but most overall service meshes that I know, they are only going to give you the possibility to define what percentage of traffic you want to sample. So if you are relying on head sampling and then you introduce some service mesh that may go to waste. And you can start to solve it. You can start say, okay, I won't do like parent-based sampling. I won't look at whatever the service mesh decided, but that's going to take you to a whole kind of bad experience and a lot of work that you need to do in order to make it actually work. So this is something that out of the box, I think, doesn't really work. So it is another area that you need to consider. And the last thing that I would mention regarding the bad news at least, is that when we are working with open telemetry, we want everybody to work as we expect with open telemetry with the latest specification and follow the semantic convention and use OTLP. But the truth to be told is that's not always the case. So I took Envoy as an example, just because many service meshes uses Envoy behind the scenes. So Envoy still doesn't support OTLP. They do have a pull request for that, but it's still not merged. So currently, if you're using it, you need to export the data through Zipkin, through Yeager, which is fine, but they are not using W3C context propagation. So now you implemented open telemetry in Adodo. 100 services using W3C, and now you said, okay, I want to turn on tracing in Istio and now you're in a problem because you need to change it to B3. So it's not something that you can't solve. It's just a lot of management that you will need to do. It's a lot of changes that you need to do. So those things, I guess that in next year talk, I'll probably say, hey, we're all good. Everybody is now aligned on the W3C, but it's at this point of time, it's a bit annoying. And also the semantic convention is not always spot on, which could be a bit annoying. So if I want to kind of sum up what I'm trying to say is any component that is part of the application, any component that is affecting how the application is running, it's worth monitoring, it's worth to observing. When we look at a trace, we think this trace is going to represent what really happened and to do that, we need as much data as we can get. And I think there is something interesting with service measures because most of the company that I saw, they use an open telemetry distro implemented in their services. And this is kind of the first time that we see something that is not a part of the application code that is starting to emitting telemetry data. And I think, and the panel discussed it a bit, that we're going to see more and more components start to emit telemetry data as we go. I don't know, databases and message brokers and queues and those kind of things, they are going to follow it sometime. And we're going to see probably the same kind of problems that we see with service measures. So we can kind of look at that as data as a community and learn from that what we need to do in order to guide those who are going to emit data that we're not going to have those same problems or mistakes again. So thank you very much. And if you have any questions, I'd love to try and answer. Hold on, Mike's coming. First of all, thank you. I did the similar exercise that you did and I came to the same conclusion, but I always been surprised on how Kiali is able to create the traces of the box without any hotel implementation. So you have the context propagated. So I've been digging, digging, digging and I have never understood how Kiali was able to do that. Have you found? Which project? I didn't get that. Kiali? So I'm not that familiar with that. And it is very interesting to see and I'll try to dig up and maybe I'll come with a conclusion because if there is like a magic button, you can click and get good traces like with a context. That's a great offering. Anyone else questions? All right. Well, thank you very much. Big round of applause. Thank you.