In darkness I seek my own source of light, relying instead on my imperfect might, wandering through my worries and pains, guilty of pride, and my broken remains, a reliance on self when my sin seems so sweet to do and be something I can't possibly meet. In my daily response I'll do better next time, but I'm tired, I'm weary, I'm broken, I'm fine. How long, oh Lord, will you hear my cry as if the lack of response is his, not mine? How long, oh Lord, like a wandering child, the foolish, the blind, the blame, the lies, not his, but mine?  You've broken the bonds of our sin and our shame, give us deeper repentance from our sin, help us flee, give us hearts that can trust and give us eyes that can see, because I'm a child of the king, you're a son, you're a daughter, not beggars or forgotten, we have Christ the living water, your goodness, oh Lord, all his, not mine, your faithfulness, Lord, because this life isn't mine, because I'm his, his alone, I'm a child of the king, this is Jesus, my savior, my comfort, I sing, make my trust root deeper, awaken the sleeper, make my faith grow stronger, that your harvest be longer, how long, oh Lord, will you comfort my soul, the response from the Lord, forever, you're my reward, his love, his grace, his kindness, his favor, no blame, no lies, now the cross is my anchor, and when left on my own, I am destined to fail, but his love paid the price on that old rugged cross, and now we can shout it from the rooftops, because this is where the shame stops, this is my story, this is my song, and now the stone rolled away, all the saints gather to say, our savior is here, we're no longer in fear, the spirit is moving, and our Jesus is near, so brother, sister, son, daughter, there's a place at the table, he's the bread, he's the wine, the invitation to salvation, all his, not mine.


narcissists are ugly yes that is the title for this video I know I don't do videos like these often I've just done a bit of a hike the past hour time to the top of this hill and I'm in the mood for giving that ass a good beating and I know you love it when I do that when I get on here and I just give it to you raw I just tell you how it is about these narcissists which is what I'm about to do in this video as it is titled narcissists are ugly but first I have to say of course talking about the physical appearance I mean if we're being real studies have shown that narcissists do tend to be more attractive than normal people I can say that in my own experience yes I have come across many are so at least those with high narcissistic traits were definitely more attractive than the average person but then again this is also relative what's attractive to me might not be attractive to you because of course we are all different people with our own desires likes preferences so yeah I mean beauty is really in the eye of the beholder with that being said when we are talking about attractiveness and beauty at least on the inside I think that is something that we can all commonly agree on if we are normal healthy functional people I think we can agree on that and yeah as the title says narcissists are ugly they're ugly inside and it shows in their character and demeanor their personality and the way that they act and behave and typically if we knew what they were like from the beginning we probably never would have got involved with them as I've said before like attracts like so we're typically attracted to people who are like ourselves like minded people tend to gravitate towards each other so you might wonder how do we end up with narcissists if that is the case and of course it all comes down to the manipulation narcissists they come in they manipulate us they mislead us they give us this mistaken false impression this deceptive outward appearance and we just left to chase after that for the rest of the relationship believing that what we saw in the beginning the false character was real when in fact it was not real it was an illusion it was manipulation yes as I said in the title narcissists are ugly at least on the inside the way that they treat us the way that they behave everything they do is just so repulsive it just pushes us away and when you're around them you feel like you can't even be yourself you just can't be natural you can't be who you are I don't know everyone can relate to what I'm saying I know you've all been through this and this is something I've experienced myself many times whenever I'm around narcissists I just feel like I want to run away and at times I feel like I'm even trying to escape from my own body like I don't even feel comfortable in my own skin because it's just so disgusting and repulsive I just hate those kind of attitudes and behaviors and it's something that I've always just despised and I'm not saying I despise people the narcissists themselves no I'm saying that I despise the character and the behaviors the way in which they choose to behave because they're really just like these leeches these pests these bottom feeders they feed off other people's energy because they can't generate their own from within and then because they feed off you from the inside out it's like you don't even feel comfortable in your own body you just can't even be yourself around them it's impossible you can only be who they want you to be because they they invent these false characters for you and then they hold you up to that because they live in this delusion or reality and they need you to be a certain way so that they can feel better about themselves and that's all that it's really designed to do they are completely delusional people and I guess that's a part of it as well I mean we tend to value qualities like honesty people who are trustworthy loyal open direct they're not covert they're not trying to hide things about themselves what about how they are dealing with you but that's exactly what narcissists do you think you know them you think you know what you're dealing with when it's just tip of the iceberg there's so many things underneath the surface so many things that they are doing in an attempt to keep you down and leech off you I mean you think they're bad people it's like a lot of times we don't even know even a fraction of just how evil they truly are so that is what I mean when I say that narcissists are ugly they really are they're disgusting the repulsive and a lot of people we think that we are attracted to them and that's just not the case at all just think back to the beginning of the relationship before the manipulation the deception if you knew what they were from the very beginning would you have stuck with them or would you have ran away I'm sure most of you if not all of you would never have got involved with them in the first place if you knew who they are because a normal person just wouldn't want to be involved with someone like that someone who lies about who they are they have to manipulate they create this false character to lure you into this trap into this web and then once they've got you they begin to devalue you to keep you stuck a normal person of course would not want to be around that it's just not something that we would gravitate towards people tend to gravitate towards people who have high energy people who are able to take care of themselves emotionally they have the internal emotional resources they have a character they have something that you can build with us just what people tend to gravitate towards people who at least have their life together and that is what we were led to believe with these narcissists that is the trick that they use from the very beginning they make you believe that they've got it all together they've got their life in order and then you later find out that that is not the truth and then they end up keeping you down and leeching off you all the while they're very good at portraying an attractive character in the beginning because they tune into your likes once needs prefaces and desires they tune into that so they know exactly who they need to be to get your attention it's all fake they're just mirroring you the imitating the copying they are reflecting your own qualities and virtues back to you and that is all that that is and when you see it initially it might draw you to them because it seems attractive at first but then when you realize what they are unless you're stuck in a trauma bond or for financial reasons or whatever it may be typically you will just be running away for your life because you feel like it's either that or you're stuck with them and you don't even feel comfortable in your own skin it's like you're trying to escape from your own body and it just changes you they manipulate you into changing yourself so that you can survive emotionally around them and in some ways that kind of frustrates them but then in other ways they like it if they can use it to further manipulate and gas like you to make you doubt your reality and your sanity there it can be very powerful for them as I've said before the only thing you're ever going to get from a narcissist especially one that is covert the only thing you're ever going to get is manipulation you're not going to get anything else from them it will only ever be an illusion it's not going to be anything else it doesn't matter what they say it doesn't matter what they do doesn't matter about all of the fake apologies the false epiphanies the love bombing it doesn't matter I can promise you if you were dealing with a covert narcissist they are always going to be that way they are never going to change and in fact they will get worse as they age so if you think they are ugly and unattractive now just give it a few years wait until they get older they will get even worse they can give the appearance as though they're getting better when in fact they just become even more covert and manipulative deep inside they become more malignant more hurtful more harmful to their victims and that is why it is very dangerous for you to be around them I mean just think about it you're around someone and you don't even really know what you're dealing with or who they are and it's very imbalanced because they know everything about you they've learned you they've studied you but you don't know anything about them they've just given you a false character so they have the advantage over you and then they're using that to manipulate and gas like you to make you think that you're losing your mind and drive you insane because yes all they have is a false reality and a false character as I've said before no matter what they say or do they are full of shit everything they do is a manipulation everything it doesn't matter what they say or do or how much time has passed they are still the same and they will never change no matter how much you wish that they would change and be better no matter how much they promise that they will no matter how much they lie in future fake it doesn't matter they're never going to change and this is why if you look at a lot of people who are in prisons many of them are covert narcissists and they may have committed a crime such as murder or rape and of course this is why the sentence is so long for them some of them go to jail for life the reason why is because psychologists and therapists coaches we understand that they are not going to change even if they do go to jail for life as soon as they come out they're gonna be the exact same way and even while they're in jail they're gonna be in complete denial they're not gonna take any accountability for their actions they're gonna deny it they're gonna lie they're gonna shift the blame onto someone else and then as soon as they come out they're gonna do the exact same thing again because in their minds it's never any fault of their own they never did anything wrong or if they did they always find a way to justify it every abuser always has an excuse and that is why it just does not matter what they say or what they do they are always the same manipulative and abusive narcissist they're always the exact same way it doesn't matter if they discarded you if it looks like they've moved on if they're with someone else if they're married if they've got a family they've got children it does not matter what they are displaying to you I can promise you they are still the exact same way it's just an illusion it's an occurrence it's deception it's nothing different to what they showed you in the beginning which they used to manipulate you and it's what got you stuck trying to fix them trying to improve the situation trying to make things better but nothing you did ever made anything better it just made everything worse and it will always be the same way it's always going to be like that and it's a horrible situation to be in I know exactly what it's like those of you who are stuck in a narcissistic relationship right now I know I understand I've experienced it it's horrible it's like you don't even know who you are anymore by the end of it it's like you lose touch with yourself your passions your interests because they're projecting all of this stuff onto you it's predictive identification based on their own insecurities or deficiencies or whatever it may be and they uphold you to be a certain character a certain way and it just does not feel like you just does not resonate it just doesn't apply so over time you feel like you lose in touch with yourself and you feel very uncomfortable in your own body in your own skin it's like you're there but you just don't even want to be there and because of that many of you may experience brain fog derealization depersonalization it's like you're there but you don't really feel like you're there you're not really in your body it's like your body is there but your mind is somewhere else and it's because and this is kind of my own theory based on my own research and experience I believe these feelings these sensations that we have when we are around them the reason why is because we were never never meant to cross paths that was never meant to happen it was never meant to be and of course that is why whether it's in the middle of the relationship what the end of it or for some of us it may be at the very beginning it just feels wrong it does not feel right at all it feels like we're in the wrong place we're with the wrong person I mean what we saw at the beginning that may have felt right but that was a false character which they used to lure us in so it feels wrong because we were never meant to be together in the same space and time it was a natural it was not preordained by God's the universe a higher power or fate it was not preordained by anything like that and in my opinion when these are natural things take place when they're not based on common interests natural attraction when they're not based upon these types of things and instead it's just manipulation and deception when that happens you will experience cognitive dissonance too conflicting beliefs and it will feel very wrong to you it won't feel right you'll feel like you just want to run away once you catch on to what they're doing because you were never meant to cross paths at all you were never meant to be in the same space at the same time remember narcissists are predators they come in and they manipulate us they lure us into an environment where we were never meant to be we were never meant to be around them I mean of course in daily life you walk around and you come across certain people it's natural it's organic it's not like they had a plan to be there at the same time as you it's not like it was premeditated if it's something natural where you just come across someone there's no manipulation involved they're just being themselves and you're just being you it's a natural environment you're not going to get that feeling in the pit of your stomach where you feel like something is seriously wrong and in fact it's going to feel good you're going to feel good about yourself you're going to feel comfortable because it was not a premeditated situation it's natural but as we know we do not get that feeling with narcissists it never feels that way with them because they want something from you and of course if they want it that means that they do not have it and what do they want they want our love our passion our energy they want all of these things that they do not possess which is why they come around us and they want to possess us the longer that you are around them just pulls you out of yourself you start experiencing serious brain fog it's like your body is there but your mind is somewhere else completely and I can say that I have experienced this many times for myself I'm very lucky and very fortunate that I don't experience that permanently it always goes away after I have some sleep or I eat something in the morning then I feel more my body more in my mind but definitely I've experienced it so many times especially out in public I mean as we know narcissists are everywhere everywhere you go you will see them you could be at a store at a restaurant at the bank at a park wherever it may be and you will always come across these narcissists they may not have the full-blown disorder they could just be highly narcissistic which means that they've got to be seen they've got to be cured they've got to be in your face at all times they can't have attention because they never got the attention they wanted when they were children from their parents and it just takes all of your attention and focus away from yourself I mean as people we're meant to exist in the environment we're meant to be there we're not meant to be in some other worlds we're meant to feel comfortable in our bodies and in our skin but when you are a narcissist they demand so much attention from you you don't even have enough energy to give to yourself and that is why you experience brain fog where you feel detached from yourself because everyone every person in this world other than of course those with mental illnesses and personality disorders we all have a certain amount of energy within ourselves these energy reserves and they're meant to sustain who we are they're meant to sustain our personalities our sense of being our connection with our minds with our soul when you're around narcissists they demand so much of your energy and attention by the end of it you don't even have enough to regulate yourself and that's why you experience brain fog depersonalization derealization it's because they're empty vessels they have a void and they demand so much of you but you don't even have enough to regulate yourself and even when they've completely depleted you of your energy reserves and you don't even know who you are anymore you've completely lost touch with yourself when that happens of course it's just gonna blame you and they're gonna shame you for it they're gonna use it against you they may even use it to start a smear campaign against you and some of you you may have been completely gaslighted into submission to the point where you don't even know who you are anymore you've lost touch with yourself as you just believe in in whatever they say at least I hope until you found my videos because that's what this content this community is here for is to remind you that yes you do have a self you are you and at times I've really experienced this to the extreme it's like being around narcissists I had to give so much of my energy and attention by the end of it I was feeling these emotions that I would never normally feel it's almost like I felt envious and jealous and attached to this narcissist because I felt like I didn't have a self of my own I felt like I was completely detached for myself like I was just this ghost this floating being just wandering around the girth and yeah I felt like I didn't have a body of my own I didn't have my own mind I didn't have my own space I didn't have anything and it was so bad when I felt that way I just thought to myself what will remind me that I do exist and it's just a simple thing but I would just feel my own body touch my own arm stroke my own face or just look in the mirror and then it would remind me yes I am still here I still exist I'm still me or at least I may not be completely my authentic self but I'm still here I'm still a person and hopefully we should still have our own values and beliefs things that matter to us or some of you may have been indoctrinated to the point where you don't even know what you value or what you're passionate about anymore and that can be a very horrible experience and I must admit that yes I have experienced that myself as well I've experienced it completes a race where I've just been wiped off the face of the earth on many occasions luckily for me I always might manage to find my way back especially now that they have this community and every time I get on here it reminds me of who I am and what I stand for it reminds me of what matters to me even if I don't always feel like I'm here I mean even though we have eyes we can see and that's really what the narcissist wants as well they want you to still just be there in your body they kind of want you to be paralyzed if they can get you to that point where you still have your eyes you have your ears so you can see them you can hear them you can respond you can react but they want you to be out of your mind where they can just impose whatever character whatever obligations on to you so they want you to be fake and exist only for them to serve them because remember yes they are completely delusional they don't really care about the truth they don't care about who you are it's just all about them and what can make them feel better in that moment they don't even care about people they don't care about you they don't care about anyone they may look like way at times with their image everything is just a means to make them feel better about themselves some of them are aware of it some of them are not but that's all that it is well I don't know about you but as an empath I mean you've seen me do many videos some of them up to 90 minutes long many videos they do at the end of the day where I'm completely drained of energy and you can probably see it up by the end of the video I may look like I'm about to collapse because that's just how it is as an empath we give so much of ourselves until there is nothing left until we have nothing left to give at all but even then narcissists will still twist it and try to make it seem as though we're narcissistic for giving and trying to help people they'll try and portray it as though we are communal narcissists even though we may be given and given in to the point where we are completely drained and out of our minds remember the narcissist does not care but the truth they do not value reality if they did why would they have all of these false characters why would they manipulate you and to be in a certain character for them they would never do any of that but they do everything they do it's a cue it's a signal to mold you into who they need you to be so that they can feel better about themselves by having a certain level of power and control over you because while they may insult you and put you down they may devalue you yes they do actually believe that you are a million times better than them they really do believe that I mean think about it what what's what is the good I mean what what is the use of having all of the power and control in the world over a pile of shit I mean I hate to be blunt about it well really I don't I mean I think it's helpful to think of it in this way but yeah just think about that just think about that what is the point in having all of the power and control in the world over something that has no value what is the purpose of it I mean if something has no value it's really as bad as you say it is then why would you want to be around it why would you want anything to do with it I mean just think about it if you have power and control over something and it's useless it's worthless it has no value that's going to be a liability to you it's going to be something that hinders your progress it's going to affect you negatively so this is how you know that they're full of shit when they've got to have power over you when they are very controlling the reason why they're like that is because yes they do know that you are extremely valuable yes they are very aware of that if they were not aware of it they wouldn't even be around you they wouldn't be telling everyone about you and trying to ruin your reputation I mean what would be the point you wouldn't even have a reputation to begin with you wouldn't have anything of value in your in your life if you're really as bad as what they say you are so notice how their actions and behaviors quite clearly do not match up with what they're saying about you yes they are lying to you I just think about it if they're invested all of this time into you rather than their own lives they quite clearly believe that you are a million times more valuable than they are and then their time and attention and focus would be on themselves and their own lives they clearly believe that it's more valuable for them to invest that into you so these are all things to think about because let's be real I mean narcissistic abuse it makes you feel ugly it makes you feel worthless inside and sometimes outside as well I mean I know it did for me I've experienced it myself yes believe it or not but I've had narcissists in the past who managed to gas like me into thinking that I am not that attractive physically but I would just look back in the past and think if that's true then why have I had so much success with women in the past it just didn't add up didn't make any sense and I'm sure many of you may have experienced this as well and they shame you for it which is why I wanted to mention that as well because when I get on here and I talk about it openly and direct and in a mature way it really just absorbs the shame for a lot of people and for myself as well and the reason why is because it just has no basis in reality it's not even true and not only that but beauty is in the eye of the beholder it's relative to the person who is experiencing it and that's just how it is a lot of times as well when you've experienced narcissistic abuse you may find yourself looking in the mirror a lot more it's like you have to constantly look at yourself just to remind yourself of who you are what you look like because you've been manipulated and gas that so much and it really affects your perception of yourself of the people in the world around you it just affects everything in your life and they don't care because they do not care about the truth they don't care about reality they're quite happy to live in denial and to live a lie and they use that to hurt and punish us and it's very effective because of course as empaths if there's one thing we hate it's anything that's fake a lie manipulation we're all truth seekers and truth tellers we all are so that's how they're able to manipulate us and why it is so effective against us and yet they managed to gas light us when it's like if we were really what you say we are and we're fake we are in denial and we're liars we're bad we're crazy and why would it affect us so much when you lie when you manipulate us when you gas light us when you deny the truth and the reality of the situation which is how you know all of these tactics all of the things they say just doesn't even make any sense it's all just the means to mess up your mind because they already know that you are just a million times better a person than they will ever be and that is the reality of it it really is I mean I could tell you that for your narcissist I had a million years to live on this earth they still would not amount to even a fraction of what you are of what we all are because we are empaths we are very valuable people we have value to give to share with the world now necessarily only care about themselves so they don't care if you have something to give to share to uplift people to make the world better all they care about is what is themselves and what they're going to get right now they don't care about anything else anything else could be dead buried gone forgotten for all they care does not matter as I've said before they live in a world inside their minds with a population of one anyone else outside of them even the flying monkeys enablers they supply to whoever it is they're all just pawns on the chessboards they're just objects to the narcissist that they move around to reduce their desired effects and that is their only purpose it's all an illusion and there is nothing outside of the illusion because of course again there are two types of illusions as well on one hand you've got the illusion of the whether there's two false characters there's two illusions two false characters it's like on on one hand you have got this person that they portray themselves to be in the beginning where they're nice they're kind the generous the communal but everything you could ever want and desire them to be and then the other side of them the other false character is where they are all knowing or powerful and they're very controlling possessive but even that side of them is fake as well both of these characters are fake and they are intended to manipulate you and outside of that there is nothing nothing else even exists it's either the character you saw at the beginning or the one that you see from the devaluation there is nothing else they cannot be vulnerable they cannot be intimate they cannot love no matter how long you wait around for them to change that's never going to happen you're never going to get that from the narcissist all you're going to get is lies manipulation deception and gaslighting you're never going to get anything real they have nothing to give to you or anyone else they have no value none while i say in past we have tons of value i know myself i mean just look back for all the all of the value that i've given to this community of narcissistic abuse survivors and we've been doing this for over five years i can talk about a different topic every day i can go in depth i can expand on it i can talk about it for hours i can write a book i say in past we have tons of value to give to the world to help people i can promise you it does not matter you can waste hours of your day every day for the rest of your life given all of the value you've got it's never going to make a difference it's never going to fix them there is no amount of value in the world that could change them i can make them happy because they have a void inside of themselves that can never be filled so they're always going to be that way you might get the illusion sometimes it only lasts for a very short period of time and then they go back to being exactly who they really are while i say empaths it's funny but the character that they show that mirrors and reflects back to us around qualities and virtues that's exactly who we are 24 hours a day seven days a week 365 days a year that's who we naturally are but at least before we get involved with them and then they manage to change us and mold us to their liking then they gas like dust they shame and blame us they try to turn us against ourselves and they try to turn everyone else against us as well everything they try to be everything they portray themselves to be that's just who we are all of the time and they're just feeding off us using the energy to display this illusion when it's all just lies it's just deception and that's all it's ever going to be it's never going to change it's never going to be any better but yeah i think maybe this is about enough for this topic i mean i have gone pretty deep into it certainly a lot to think about from this video i'm sure but let me know down below what you think about what i've said so far or even going back to the title of the video i mean i know i have kind of gone off the topic a little bit there but then it already comes back to it narcissists they are ugly inside yes their actions their behaviors the way they treat people so yeah let me know down below what do you think about what i've said does it resonate with your experiences with the narcissist that you were dealing with and remember it's not always about full-blown grandiose narcissists this also applies to the covet narcissist those who just have a few narcissistic traits are they lack empathy it applies to them as well isabel says we can't imagine that such monsters exist that want to ruin our lives that's why it's so difficult to go no contact but you're doing yourself a great favor if you do take care of yourself well said isabel i mean that's really as you said yes it's the mind fuck for a lot of us and we just cannot believe that people like this exist just from being around them it drives us crazy because we're trying to think we're trying to use our empathy and put ourselves in their situation from their perspective and it just doesn't seem to add up because we put ourselves in our shoes and we think i would never do that i would never say that i would never treat people this way i would try to make things better i would try to make things right of course we are at fault in a way by doing that because you've got to think we do not have the same brains i mean all of you who are watching this right now are most likely a large portion of the 170 subscribers that i have we do have very similar brains we think in a similar way as empaths as for narcissists they think very differently in fact they think in the opposite way because they have a different brain they have different ways of thinking of perceiving things they have a void that can never be never be filled so these are all things to take into consideration to understand what we were dealing with i mean it's just that yes we are very different we are not the same at all empaths and narcissists we are opposites and opposites they repel each other the narcissist is not attracted to us they just want to steal our qualities they want to steal our value everything that is good about us and we are not attracted to them we just got manipulated i saw that it was seeing some comments here very sad i feel for all of you boot flasko says i've lost so much lea says i became homeless from them lost all family wildflower says i can totally relate i feel so emotionally drained smoky bear the life you wasted living with these monsters isn't coming back that's the worst part yeah it is very sad what these types of people will do to us really is i mean they are traumatized children and adult bodies so in some ways at least from afar i can have some compassion for them but i certainly certainly cannot accept the things that they do to people what they do it is not okay it is not right regardless of what they say about you or what you're meant to have done that does not matter that's no excuse i mean we are talking about repeated actions of abuse manipulation gaslighting making someone doubt their own memory perception and sanity not just in one situation but over a very long period of time there is no justification for that doesn't matter what you said doesn't matter what you did any empath would come to that conclusion of course that is how we know exactly what we're dealing with and while i wish i could be there to comfort you in person i do hope that this message is enough to give you the emotional support that you need after you have been completely drained by this narcissist or toxic person because yes it is really horrible to it is really horrible with what they do to us but i hope it inspires you to know that i am a man who will never surrender will never give up no matter what i will always stick to my purpose and continue doing what is right for our community for the world for the goods of all of us that will never change so i hope that provides you with some comfort in knowing that yes this is it this is just how it is isn't it i mean narcissists some of them they may be quite physically attractive but they are ugly inside and i hope that this title didn't trigger anyone i was thinking about it before i wrote it that it could be quite a triggering title if you've been involved with a narcissist but i thought it could be quite humorous as well i mean i know people like it when i make these types of videos and of course even for myself i've been told myself in the past i look like a bit of a jerk an asshole i look like quite a mean spirited person i don't really smile too much i understand that you won't see me laughing too often and i'm sure many of you can relate to that as well it's because of the trauma the abuse we just kind of shut ourselves off it's just no fun it's no enjoyment being around narcissists but i think in a lot of ways that could have helped i mean for the first couple of years i never showed my face on this channel but i noticed that as soon as i did it really accelerated the views and the subscribers everything i think this is just kind of what people want to see you know they kind of want to see because it rubs off on us the personality the behaviors you know narcissists are very cold they don't laugh they don't smile much themselves they're very mean you know when you see them without the mask they kind of rub off on us i've become quite serious myself i was never like this as a child i was very extroverted and even though even now i'm still full of life and energy is when i was a child i showed it more openly because i wasn't afraid of being abused and put down for it so i think that's what it was and now yes i do come across as more serious i guess i do kind of have this like resting bitch face i kind of come across as quite mean in my appearance at least but when you get to know me i do actually consider myself to be very friendly agreeable compassionate and understanding i do believe that i am the kind of person people can get on with very well very friendly and outgoing i could quite easily just meet up and go for a hike together that wouldn't be a problem at all and we could have a lot of fun a lot of amazing conversations and i'm sure i would probably enjoy it as well so yeah that's like the old saying goes don't judge a book by its cover there is more than meets the eye i know in my younger days i did attract a lot of negative attention even stalkers as well harassment because as i as i've said before i had this facebook page i experienced a lot of abuse in my family and in my pictures on the facebook yes i look back now and i can see that i did look very arrogant very mean very cold very distant a lot of people didn't like it rubbed on the wrong way it affected them negatively and they made this twitter page about me this was about 13 years ago i believe it's still there even now sometimes people just they have the wrong perceptions of us and you know that's not really our faults as well because we've been through trauma and abuse so of course yes we are going to operate in this way we are going to seem quite cold i saw someone did a video recently how narcissistic abuse even changes our face i haven't done much research on that myself just yet but i can imagine yes i'm sure that it would change everything about us physically mentally emotionally but yes i believe that that did help with the growth of this channel as well i mean i've seen some comments before i think people look at it sometimes it's like i would like this this reformed this recovered mean spirited cold hearted person on the surface in appearance but at the same time it's like my life my mission is to help you to guide you to make you happy comfortable to make things better for you but then at the same time yes i do come across as quite serious and i know that i am aware of it especially recently and i do try as much as i can now to show this more personal and intimate side of me i do try to smile more but i will admit that yes it is very difficult for me it's very hard for me to open up and to be myself to be vulnerable especially on these videos i mean i know some of these videos get thousands of views around the world and knowing that people are seeing it it does get very difficult at times for me to just be open and vulnerable that's quite a difficult thing for me to admit i mean as some of you may know i've never actually said this before on any video on this channel but definitely you know after all of the abuse and the trauma being vulnerable is definitely a very difficult thing for me to do it takes a lot of time for me to open up but sometimes i mean there are a few videos where i have managed to do just that i think there were videos at certain parks there was one in malaysia and one in vietnam where i did manage to smile laugh and have a lot of fun judging from the comments it looked like it was quite well received as well and i know for me that's really what i want to see too when i see victims of abuse i mean sometimes i can just notice it instantly in people i could just see it in their eyes i just know straight away and in their facial expressions as well it's like i know the difference between a narcissist and someone who is just a victim of abuse and when i see that i've seen it a few times and it's just like i just want to do everything in my power to make that person happy to make that person smile of course as it is with myself when we're dealing with victims of abuse it is very difficult to get them to be vulnerable and to get them to open up it really is and i've experienced that myself and my coaching sessions again it's like their body is there but their mind is always somewhere else because they've been around someone maybe a parent family member a relationship partner someone who had a void that could now be filled so they could ever be satisfied or experience happiness their energy attention and focus was constantly going to this narcissistic abusive demonic person so then when it comes down to being vulnerable and opening up it's very hard for them it's sad because it may have taken them off their natural course in life maybe they were meant to be with someone maybe that was someone that was there at the right time but they just couldn't do it they couldn't open up so it changed their fate altered the natural course of their life and that's why by this point after all of my research and experience yes i do believe that narcissists are demonic i do believe that they are possessed and it's good to see now that even some psychologists on youtube that i've seen even they are referring to narcissists has been demonic and i can relate to that i really believe that they are i really believe that they are possessed and you should stay far away from them surround yourself with people of like kind yes these demons will come around and try to suck the life out of you because they have no life or energy of their own but you need to do your best to avoid them preserve yourself preserve your innocence and impurity for someone who will appreciate and respect it someone who will protect it which of course is typically going to be another empath which is very rare as i've mentioned before maybe about one to two percent of the world's populations are are empaths it is very rare but no matter what no matter how much abuse you go through unless they grab a hammer just pummel your head into the ground other than that an empath is always going to be an empath that's who we're always going to be so yes protect your energy be aware that this is real it is very real narcissists exist but essentially murderers they're rapists they're charmer lesters as i've said before they are all three combined and to expand on that the murderers because they they kill us mentally emotionally psychologically they kill our identities our sense of self they're rapists because it's unwelcome it's unpleasant there's no consent they do things against our will and they are child molesters because they grew us they prepare and train us for abuse it's no different to what a pedophile does to a child they manipulate us they love bomb us and to them it's just like taking candy from a baby that's really all that it is you know we like to have some fun in you sometimes we like to have a laugh and i do believe that that is important as well but we have to be real and the real truth is that they are extremely dangerous people they will murder you they will rape you and they will molest you they are the lowest of the low the most evil people in the world the demonic the possessed they really are the scum of the earth and again this is keep in mind this is coming from someone who as you've probably noticed i am not too emotional i'm a very logical person as well someone who has had plenty of time to think things through after what i've been through then years of research i've got years of experience years of making this video and yet even i i come back to this explanation because there's just no other way around it that is what they are that's what they're always going to be there's just no other explanation for it that's who they are that's who they're destined to be for the rest of their lives they will suck the lifer of you they will drain you of your soul and energy until you're nothing but a shell of who you used to be that's why i get on you every day to just keep the love and empathy alive in this world because i do believe that that is what i came here to do i do believe that i was sent by god the heavens as many of you may have been as well we were sent here to a lift the vibrations on his planet and narcissists well they were sent here by the devil they were sent here to kill the life and love in all of us and i know i don't usually get too spiritual on this topic of narcissism but that's genuinely what i believe and i've been believing this for quite some time now i just haven't spoken about it until now so yes all important things to be aware of know that they are extremely dangerous no matter who you think they are there is no nothing too low for a narcissist there is nothing that they are not capable of i've experienced so many things myself especially my childhood things that i've never mentioned before horrific things that normal people would never do to a child and normal people would never gaslight that child when they become when they become an adult and act like it never happened but yes i have been through a lot of things and i can tell you that it is demonic it is evil they do some very horrific things and i'm just very lucky that i can sit here today and deliver this message to you after everything that i've been through of course i'm not completely okay i do go through a lot of things myself i just don't show it i keep it inside and i remain strong no matter what because i know i've been sent you with a purpose that's why every day i'm so thankful even just for simple things that other people take for granted like i have eyes i can see i have ears i can hear my senses they're all working fine luckily i never experienced a heart attack a stroke paralysis i'm still able to move around to experience this life to give value to the world and these are all things that we should be grateful for every day i feel so much gratitude just for simple things in life like when i eat a meal when i'm driving the car i'm going for a hike when i'm getting a massage just simple things that other people might take for granted i'm highly attuned and sensitive to it because after all of the things that i've been through i do wonder sometimes how other people might have reacted if they were in my situation or how they might have dealt with it and that's why a lot of times i'm just thankful that i'm still here just drop the microphone i hope you can hear me clearly but yes i've really enjoyed sharing this message with you today i just went for a little hike up the hill see the gardens and the view it was a good experience and something that i will be sharing very soon on my instagram so those of you if you're not following me on there you can go to my instagram and follow me it's narks5youtube and if this video was helpful for you you can show your support by giving it a thumbs up down below you can also share your thoughts in the comment section as well of course i do read your comments every day share the video and subscribe hit the bell icon down below and you will receive notifications for all of my future videos and if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me you can do that by going to my website it is narksviver.co.uk and again if you'd like to show your support you can make a donation by going to my paypal it is paypal.me slash narksviver so that's it for this video i'm gonna see if i've got time now to go to this waterfall i think it's down the road and then i'm gonna head to my next destination just doing more traveling again check on my instagram narksviver youtube if you go there i will be uploading more pictures and videos of my travels and traveling every day exploring and just enjoying this adventure which is my life so yes you can follow me on there on my instagram narksviver youtube again thank you all for your support for joining me on another narksviver live video i do appreciate you all and as always i will talk to you very soon


No matter which community you're in, collectors around the world dream of obtaining that one big item in their space. Whether it be a famous painting like the Mona Lisa, a vintage car such as the 1967 Corvette, or of course something we're more familiar with, a rare trading card, these items hold significant nostalgic or collectible value to the people who chase them. Something that makes the trading card world unique to other collectibles, however, is that a lot of the desired cards are obtained by way of a booster pack and can thus be acquired cheaper than the cost of the item itself. If you get lucky and pull one. Because these multi-thousand-dollar cards can be pulled from much cheaper packs, the moment when one lucky son of a gun pulls one are absolutely magical. A couple of examples of this in popular card games such as Magic the Gathering and Pokemon include this legendary Black Lotus Pull by Open Boosters, and this Charizard pulled by Leonhart. Now Yu-Gi-Oh also has Grails to be pulled, and it has happened a couple of times, first by the old school expert back in 2013, and later again by Yu-Gi-Oh old school in 2018. But since these pulls, there hasn't been much luck, and it hasn't been for lack of trying. I personally have opened over three boxes worth in that time, but I've yet to get lucky. Who knows? Every blue eyes in existence may have already been pulled, or there just aren't enough boxes being opened on camera for us to see it ever happen again. Or so I thought. Now I may not have expected to see a blue eyes pulled from a box again, but there is something I knew that I could count on my blue eyes pulling from a box. A delicious meal from Factor. Okay, I don't have blue eyes, but it'd fit better if I said I had blue eyes, okay? It just makes more sense. Though I've not yet pulled a blue eyes myself, Factor is helping me toward that goal by saving me time during each meal. 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On February 2nd, 2024, I got a message on Instagram from a guy asking about a Legend of Blue Eyes box that he bought. He had some questions about its authenticity, which I tried to help verify the best I could, but it can be difficult over pictures and things like that. After a few messages back and forth over the next few days, he was confident enough in the box being real to open it. And what happened, you'll just have to see. I was able to record an interview with him shortly after to capture his feelings about the experience and to show you guys what happened. First of all, what's your name? Okay. I'm Quentin. Quentin Gerard in France. And that's the second question. Where are you from? So I guess you're from France? Yes, from France, but in Lyon. Lyon in France. I feel like I don't see a lot of French collectors, to be honest. So that was pretty interesting when I thought you might, like, I wasn't 100% sure, but I thought you said you were from France. And I was like, that's pretty cool, actually, because I know a lot of German collectors, but not so many French. So when you said that, I was like, that's pretty interesting, actually. Are there a lot of collectors around you? We have other collectors, but it's not same like US or England. Yeah. We have not a real market. Right now, French people doesn't want to put some money in the U.G. I think that a lot of people are feeling like that right now. So that that is that might translate over pretty soon. So, but it's cool to see that you're still like grabbing this cool stuff. So why did you even start in the U.G. Collecting? Was it like recent or was it like a childhood thing that you got back into or have you always been into it? My passion began when I was a children.  I began with L.O.B. French box. Oh, yeah. After I do elemental energy, O.B. first, after cybernetic revolution and for finish L.O.B. first, I buy one L.O.B. first science four or five months ago, a wavy box, and it was a fake. Oh, no. Okay. There's a lot to unpack there. Oh my goodness. Okay. We got to come back to the fake, but you said you thought that you think that the English is the best. Why do you think that since you are from France? The print is better. There is more possibility and if you want to sell it back, it's more easy because anyone wants to buy US cards. But if you buy French cards, it's only to sell in France. Yeah. So yeah, that makes sense because I feel like if you're not from the U.S. or whatever, people like to open those U.S. boxes because they know if they do open them and get something, the U.S. people will be like interested in it, you know, and I guess it was one of the earliest like prints was the U.S. print or whatever. So very cool. But we got to get into the fake. So you've got a fake box at some point. And that's why you messaged me, I guess, to say, is this one real because you had already had a fake box. I was scary of opening. I cut, but in the original video, I cry, man. I see it's real booster. I cry, man.  And did you get a refund or anything? Wavy. 50K. Oh, man. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 15. 16. 16. 17. 17. 18. 18. 18. And so I guess you did you get any money back or what? Where'd you buy it from? Facebook, you know. Facebook. But the seller didn't know that was a fake box. Yes. The seller didn't know what it was. They got scared at some point. He has a box signed 20 years. For me, 20 years ago, don't exist a fake box. It's not possible. Yeah, those. Those fakes actually date back pretty far, which makes them really scary The big the big way to sell their fake. Yes. Yes. I see you know the K and oh, yeah They're taught it though. Oh in the inner touching right there. That's always a fake. It's their one mistake It looks great other than that. It's such a weird way, but it's always right So from now on if you if you're watching the video and you ever want to buy LOB like this guy or me Then make sure you check if it's a wavy box that the oh and then in the Konami logo are not touching because if they're Touching it all it's a fake so you got the fake box Did that discourage you from buying another box at any point for a wheel? I don't want to buy a new box because for me. No, it's not possible. It's too stressful. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, I don't see it man But I see this box every condition was for I buy this box and I see this box glossy box I open with the default she has a little scratch. So his price was a little Lower no, yes, it was from a Maggie shop in Japan. Yes, my good job in Japan It was a better condition and when I reception I see everything Okay, oh, it was good don't touch when I don't know any nothing weird this time. So you felt a lot better. Yes, yes But I don't sleep. Yeah, you see me all those messages like oh is this look real I was like it looks pretty good to me from what I could tell I mean I can never like verify from that far But everything was how much did you get this one for are you comfortable talk? Telling how much it was Yes, of course. No problem 12 12 12,000 that's really good. That's really good. Okay Yeah, that's awesome. That's a really good deal I suppose I mean the market's coming down But even then you don't see glossy like for that cheap to these days. That's so really good The market is currently really they're really down. So oh, yeah, I don't know why because it's where It's like real-life stuff coming in but does make it where like you could do something like LLB first-aid box And you're not gonna like die doing it So it's like, you know, you've got a chance because if it's still 50k like I don't know if I could open one at 50k Like that's just so much but 12k. It's like well, you know, like maybe if I pull blue I know I got potential to pull something big or whatever. Okay, you've kind of elaborate a little bit on this But why did you buy a box like this? And why did you spend like $12,000 to open a Yu-Gi-Oh box? Because I it's my job science one years and in France. We don't have Wetro box. We don't have LLB. We don't have elemental energy We don't have Jigs box, you know, it's very very difficult and me. I love opening this And it's difficult but I find I find Seller no buyer. Sorry. I sold in advance for opening in life, you know, yeah, and it's just I I love that Yeah, I love the energy LLB box for me. It's the best. I can't do better. No, it's good It's just fun like I can relate it's fun It's a thrill to when it's the big like old stuff You're like, I've never opened this before, you know, so it's yeah, I can relate with that for sure now now that we've kind of talked about what you wanted and People probably already know but let can you show everybody what you pulled you pulled a pretty late in the box And then you pulled dark magician was that the last pack?  Yeah, but the wait wasn't good, you know, right? The first I open it's a fake. Yeah So the other buyers say no, no, no, you don't open. Yeah, only one say yes I open I I begin with the top all the worst. Maybe the worst. Yeah The third pack I open fake Fail. Yeah, so in the pack I have one supper. It's difficult in France to say open This is just like when I got my red eyes. I was weighing them and getting nothing to Wayne glossy I tell people all the time Wayne glossy is just you never know sometimes it works Sometimes it does it and it sounds like it didn't work for you either. Yeah, I was for me I'm what I was some desu Incomfortable because yes, you know, there is some Customers and they paid for it and you know you wait and you you don't got Like it how many total packs did you have to to open to get to all the foils or did you open all the foils? No, I open three supers once a quetz tool for and the one super is He's leaving the yes one super is in the box. No problem. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know read at that point It's just like it's whatever. Yeah, no big deal But the tool last it was blue eyes and dark magician Oh This absolutely crazy so I was gonna ask what you do with them next but it looks like they've already been great it So can you show us the greats? Ah, yes. Yes, I can show you So I chose the PSA for try on okay because it's the choice of the buyer So I choose other it shows CC reading. It's a French company. Wow What are the sub grades something 8.5 because every car has a fight fight something about stuttering Yeah, but I was surprised for that magician. Yeah, okay about something but Corner 10 edge 9.5 and so far so five 9.5 yeah, so it's really solid besides the centering. It's really good besides that It's just a centering I've had the same issue with glossy all of mine have been off-centered every time I pull a glossy card It's off-centered and for the dark. I have two problem. I have a little scratch at the back. Oh No, what a barber. It's from a Ozokal. Yeah, it's from Ozokal in the booster. So it's it's a problem of the packaging like printing problem You know, yeah in the booster. Yeah, it's okay. I think it's with the time, but I have a 9 With off-center. Yeah. Oh see. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow Here Man that thing is so off-center. It's actually kind of cool actually It's crazy to get off-center because if he he didn't get off-center. It was like 8.5 Yeah, because of off-center. Yeah, it saved it. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually pretty awesome So what happened was you sold the pack to buyers and then they pulled these in your you bought them and then graded them Is that what happened? Yes, I like it. I like it. Okay. Well very awesome Where can people find you like on social media or anything? I do you want your Instagram or what? Thank yes I'm not youtuber. It's sure. I just work for pleasure for fun for guys see no problem But you see it's bad quality. It's just okay. It's all about the fun. It's another be perfect. It's with the phone. Yeah But it's on my astrogramm Instagram because I have a I box break a lot of Elemental energy. Oh be box, you know my product is on astrogramm. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on This is a super exciting event because it's not every day. This happens and you know even in France So they don't care we care over here. I think that's pretty awesome that you guys did that amazing Thanks for your video. Thanks for for all man. Well, thank you guys so much. This has been super fun I hope that any future box breaks go super. Well, I mean you can't really top it So I don't know what you're gonna do from here, but I've been told the same thing. So who knows you just keep going This was a legendary moment after 22 years people around the world are still pulling first-edition blue eyes by dragon The holy grail of Yu-Gi-Oh pulls and this guy also cut the dark magician So what an amazing box and absolutely nothing beats the reaction when you pull these insane cards Make sure to thank Quentin in the comments for allowing me to record an interview with him and for the awesome moment He provided for the Yu-Gi-Oh community and he has a channel as well So I'm gonna link that down below so you guys can go watch that video and any other videos He may put out and if you enjoyed my video, make sure you subscribe to my channel for more content like this Maybe one day I will finally pull one myself or maybe it'll be you shout out to Tom foe show puffins The new menesto dana america doidster another time show Ian Musa junior barting Robert F. Thomas McLean changling and a delso Galcia junior. Thank you guys for supporting the channel. I'll see you guys next time. Peace


Darcy Ward, off the inside gate in red, making light work of his broken thumb and knee ligament damage. Nikki Pedersen just a one point so far, Adrian Mazzinski, gate three in white and Greg Hancock unbeaten off the outside. This is Heat 15. It is indeed a Hancock's been flying tonight, really has put on a masterclass so far. Heat 15 then, can Hancock make it count from gate four, it's a long way to that first turn. He's going to try and chop through the middle of his rivals, what a move from the old master. Hancock comes through to take the lead here, Darcy Ward is second, Pedersen in third here in blue. Oh, Ward's packed up. Yep, lost the machine there and now Pedersen in second with Mazzinski in third in white but Ward is still under power. He is indeed, Mazzinski there charging hard, has got the better of Nikki Pedersen. Hancock brilliant out in front, really superb coming off that first corner. Pedersen's such a strong ride to get himself back in the second place. Mazzinski on the outside, they really are going at it, throwing the bikes at each other. Mazzinski now on the outside, can he hang on? Hancock's unaware of all of this. Ward's still under power, he's still cruising around at the back. That's a terrific action. Oh, Mazzinski's got it all wrong, throws the bike away, all quick looking for that night. Well, he's struggling to get to his feet as well, the red lights have come on, so that means that even though Greg Hancock was literally yards away from the finish line, the race is going to have to be rerun and the fact that Darcy Ward was still under power means he can go again but Mazzinski is in serious trouble here. He is in serious trouble and I would suggest that he has had an impact to his head because he's all over the place, no surprise to see him excluded again. Two races consecutively that the pole, the wild card this evening has been excluded, got it all wrong there, backs the bike into the corner and slams into the track. It must have knocked him around, he must have been seeing stars here because that is very awkward indeed and you can see how hard he hits his head as he backs into the track but a second chance for Darcy Ward Nige, he just kept the bike going, that has enabled him to be in the rerun. And you know the quality of Ward, he will go close that's for sure but Mazzinski after a fine start, he's sort of, well he's having a hard time right now. He is, he's disqualified from the restart so three riders only but the fact that Darcy Ward did maintain power on the bike means that he is eligible for the rerun. If he had pulled out completely then he would not have been allowed back in the restart. Here we go, heat number 15 it is, tape dries and who is going to get to the front this time? Nicky Pedersen with a good one, Hancock around the outside again, he just keeps on doing it doesn't he? Nicky Pedersen is second, Darcy Ward is third, we're going to have a race on here because you can be sure that Ward is going to hunt down Nicky Pedersen, oh so close to Pedersen's back wheel, this is spectacular but Greg Hancock is so assured and in so much control and Ward piles the pressure on Pedersen now. Is he ever, this is real action packed for second and third, Hancock out in front, a masterclass once again, Ward strutting his stuff, such a talent on the bike, Pedersen making work over time, now they all bunch up, three of best, Ward now gets in the second, Pedersen back up the inside, fabulous action for second and third proper speedway here, in E15 that's for sure, Hancock unaware of what's going on behind him, Ward now to the outside trying a different run, now gets the better of Pedersen down the back straight for the last time. Here we go, a big blast from Ward, Hancock has the lead, down to the line we go, Darcy Ward, nine points and a spectacular win for him. It was indeed because he had to do it the hard way and when he had a battle so very hard with the three-time world champion Pedersen, it's remarkable that he was able to then steal the win away from Greg Hancock who was unbeaten coming into this race, it was an action packed race throughout, inside, outside, never giving an inch, you expect it from Pedersen, Pedersen batting really hard for every world championship point. Hancock as I said, he was unaware of all this fabulous action that was going on behind him, Ward finally steps his authority on second place and then takes the opportunity to get to the front. Well Greg Hancock, how did you feel when that race just got rerun? Well you know, you gotta take the reruns with the good ones and it's just one of them things but sometimes you can do without it.


أحمد الشيطان العين الرجيم بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم والصلاة والسلام على أشرف الأنبياء والمرسلين سيدنا ونبينا أبل قاسمي محمد الأمين وألأ أحلى بيته الطيبين الطاهرين المأسومين المفلومين ولعنة الله لأعداءهم أجمعين من الآن إلا قيامي ومدين أمين يا رب العالمين أردت أردتكم شكرا لكم أردتكم أردتنا once more على this show back to the basics في which we have been discussing of course our differences with others and more importantly how we would approach this difference from a framework which is sustainable allows us to save our time allows us to maintain both conduct and discuss in a way which we have been taught to by the holy household of the holy prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم namely the أحلى البيت may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all now I hope that I don't need to inform anyone who the أحلى البيت are may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon them all but of course those of you who might be viewing and might not be from a Shia background then know that the أحلى البيت are the partner of the Qur'an and they are the co-equal of the Qur'an in terms of bringing us guidance they are those who have preserved the teachings of the holy prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and so we act in accordance with what they have taught us and we need to always follow their lead we do not precede them in any way shape or form for they are rightly guided and can never be preceded back to where we were dear viewers we were discussing of course the differences of worldviews worldviews have of course been defined in several previous episodes and I am not going to bore with a dear viewer by regurgitating or reiterating the definition of a worldview there is way too many other details which I need to constantly reiterate on a daily basis for me to have to do that again Insha'Allah of course dear viewers just to inform you if you hear any loud background noises which can sometimes be a bit disturbing in terms of concentration then know that we are broadcasting live from the holy city of Kerbala and of course there are who constantly come to visit this particular area because at the right hand side of the channels building there is the hand of so people go in order to pay their tribute and understand what happened at the battle of Kerbala may Allah's mercy be upon those who remember the martyrs of Kerbala now back to our topic we have of course been discussing atheism or the worldview which entails that there is no God namely the worldview which cuts and removes the person or rather allow me to rephrase myself person is not a good term rather the being of God from our understanding of the universe and therefore our conceptualization of reality we have stated on many occasions that the atheist is prone to the same amount of evidence as the average person but rather it is their presuppositions and their pre-existing beliefs which allow them to interpret the evidence in a certain way allow me to give you an example if I were to believe fullheartedly with full conviction that there is no such thing as the supernatural that natural laws can never be broken and that miracles do not occur then no matter how many miracle claims I see in front of me no matter how many things point towards the existence of the supernatural I will approach it with my naturalistic assumptions which force me to assume that there will be a naturalistic and scientific explanation for this phenomenon so if I see people rise from the dead before my very eyes if I see people cured from the blind before my very eyes instead of allowing myself to believe that a miracle has occurred I will continue to say well miracles do not exist and therefore I will eventually and science will eventually find an explanation for why these things occur it's essentially an appeal to what we call the science of the gaps which is to make claims that science will be able to uncover something which it never could because it doesn't belong within the dual realm of the natural sciences so we find that atheists can approach things with this very lens and it is these very lenses these presuppositions which force the atheists to deny sometimes what seems like the most rational and objective evidence and we've seen this particularly with the person of professor, the respected professor Alex Rosenberg who is of course professor of the philosophy of science at Duke University and not Duke University as my American colleagues would say and he in his great book The Atheist Guide to Reality has laid out the full details of his very elaborate world view in which of course we are denied the ability to think the concept of thoughts are removed from the picture the morality is stripped down to a personal arbitrary choice there is no such thing as right and wrong more importantly we are incapable of choosing anything because there is no such thing as free will and of course why did Rosenberg come to this conclusion Rosenberg came to this conclusion because he's convinced there is no God and therefore the only reality which can exist is the physical reality which we see in front of us the physical entities and their physical properties and of course molecules in motion don't have morality molecules in motion don't have free will and molecules in motion don't think either and therefore Alex Rosenberg prefers to go down the rabbit hole with Alice and join her in Wonderland in which everything's a giant delusion everything has become the matrix in the realm of Alex Rosenberg and unfortunately people like yourself and myself are just prone to this giant system in which delusions are fed to our minds now of course this is a very grim view of reality and one thing we certainly see about the worldview of atheism is that it is unlivable and I absolutely mean that it is unlivable you will not find a sane rational dignified person living by those presuppositions they might fully fullheartedly allow themselves to believe that these presuppositions are true but what you'll never find is that they live such presuppositions so when they have children they do believe in a thing such as love when someone who is historical is attacked by someone within society for no other reason than the fact that they could be attacked they don't invoke the fact that this person doesn't have free will they condemn such a person as a monster they're equally as emotionally aroused as you and I when bad people do things which are bad to good people of course good people to suffer the atheist doesn't believe when he gets angry that this is just a thought which is an image being fed to his mind and he's being deceived and that there's no such thing as the concept of thoughts but rather he's just been predetermined to do it by previous physical events nor when he gets upset with his children for doing something distasteful does he invoke the fact that morality is subjective and that therefore they can do whatever they want for you see the atheist lives in the real world and in the real world there is objective morality there is free will and there is the concept of thought but of course why is it so difficult for such people to see that and how can someone like myself have the audacity to claim that everybody deep down knows that Allah exist when we go back to any of the or any of the key creeds books which contain the doctrines of we would find that these beliefs have been stated quite clearly this is the book the book of the book of the book of its life and the life of our righteous alama insha'allah he states and this is of course the great english translation which is done by one of alama of the uk may Allah bless him the fourth way faith in Allah the exalted is innate in human nature therefore humans naturally find themselves to be weak and needsy beings who must refer to an omnipotent and seek help وصفة ومعرفة وتعرفة وصفة هو هو who is free of need لكن أخباره وإصداره إلى إضافه من إضافه إلى إضافه من صفة ومعرفة ما الذي يجب أن يصحب أن هناك الأشياء التي يصدرنا من أنتها When he is placed in danger and losses, hope from all means of salvation, he sees himself helpless, and he wakes up to his sleeping nature, thus unwillingly he turns to the omnipotent and essentially self-sufficient to which he refers and naturally seeks help from. say, who is it that delivers you from the dangers of the land and the sea, when you call upon him openly humiliating yourselves? And in secret, if he delivers us from this, then we should certainly be of the grateful ones. And when distress afflicts a man, he calls upon his Lord turning to him frequently. Then when he makes him possess a favor from him, he forgets that for which he called upon him before, and sets up rivals to Allah. That he may cause men to stray from his path. He it is, who makes you travel by land and sea until when you are in the ships, and they sail on them with them a pleasant breeze. And they rejoice, a violent wind overtakes them, and the billows surge in on them from all sides. And they become certain that they are encompassed about. They then pray to Allah, being sincere to him in obedience. If you do deliver us from this, we will certainly be of the grateful ones. And of course, this particular quote from the Holy Qur'an from Surah 10, ay 22, or the translation that the author has selected for the Holy Qur'an of Surah 10, verse 22, rather. We would see that Allah is invoking the concept of mankind as being that needy being, who when he lives in luxury, he forgets Allah. But when trial and tribulation and need fall over him, he all of a sudden invokes Allah. The great Sheikh Waheed, he cites, that Imam Sadaq, alaihi salatu was-salam, said, Oh son of a messenger, a man came to Imam Sadaq and said, May the peace and blessings of Allah be upon Imam Sadaq.  Guide me to Allah. What is he? Hence the Imam, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, stated, Oh servant of Allah, have you ever ridden a boat to which the man responded, of course, Oh son of the messenger of Allah. The man looked at the Imam and the Imam responded.  There are people, of course, who don't know how to swim. And this is a common phenomenon, especially amongst Muslims. The Imam responded, yes. So the Imam, may the peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, states, At that moment, did your heart have faith in something all-powerful that could rescue you from this difficult situation? Thus, the man replied, certainly. Imam Sadaq then said, then that thing is Allah, the all-powerful, the one who rescues when there is no rescuer and the one who helps when no help is available. And it is possible for human beings, of course, to attain this recognition and natural connection with Allah in states other than necessity, i.e. other free will, with the two wings of knowledge and practice. The first being that the veil of ignorance and negligence departs due to the light of the intellect and he sees that the existence of all beings and their perfection is not due to itself or due to himself. He knows that all ends to the Almighty. He is the first and the last and the ascendant overall and the knower of hidden things. And he is the one who is cognizant of all things. He is Allah, the Creator, the Maker, the Fashioner. His are the most excellent names. And the second is that the terapidity of sins, loneliness and darkness declines from the essence of his spirit due to purification of the soul and devoutness. Indeed, the servant is only availed from his Lord due to ignorance, negligence and the darkness of sins and loneliness. Therefore, it is mandatory for him to strive in removing it with knowledge and practice. As Allah states, and as for those who strive hard for us, we will most certainly guide them in our ways. Dear viewers, that is a brief introduction to the concept of the fitrah, the innate nature. Join me after the break in which we continue to elaborate more upon this concept. Dear viewers, you would have observed before the break that we were discussing the fitrah and I quoted from our scholars of creed who have of course elaborated upon the fitrah as a legitimate means for us to know Allah, and to come into a knowledge of Allah. Now, of course, one necessary facet to understanding this is that I am not invoking the fitrah as a circular argument because of course if I was invoking the fitrah alone it would be an argument from my religious texts that might have no basis. The atheists could come forward and say well I don't believe in God and I could just say well you do and none of us would get anywhere. And that is why yesterday for those of you who tuned into last night's broadcast you would note that I cited a very very important scientific study in a peer reviewed journal that of course was the international journal for the psychology of religion in which Marjana Lindman and a team of three other scientists focusing within the field of the psychology of religion did a very elaborate test testing the stress levels essentially a very academic and very advanced and sophisticated form of a lie detection device. They tested whether or not atheists are truthful in their ability to dismiss God. Now of course I know that there is some people out there who might say that everyone will get stressed when invoking bad things to happen to them it's difficult to say for example but I wish cancer would befall upon me for example but this particular study shows that when the atheist would say I dare God to do this to me the stress levels seize and they rise and there is a level of stress that is not observed in the quantity that we saw with making other statements such as I wish this happens to me why is that? Some might argue that when you're making a dare like that people it's uncomfortable for them it's a bit uncomfortable true but I guarantee you if I were to go to before a lie detector right now and say that I dare Zeus to give me for example I mean Allah preserve all your lives but to give me AIDS then I don't think my stress levels would be quite as high as the atheists who challenged God to give them these afflictions in their lives and the lives of others who are close to them now of course what the scientists who stated who conducted the experiment did rather was that they stated several possibilities and one of them is that the claim of the atheist is not really in line with what they actually believe but of course they did try to offer more naturalistic explanations which are less offensive to atheists such as well you know many of them used to be believers and perhaps they're still affected by that background but of course I don't believe that's the case I believe if you were to interview many ex-Christians for example who had converted to Islam you'd find that many of them would be more than willing to say that I challenged for example Jesus to do this to me if he is God and I don't think they'd be reluctant whatsoever but of course that would be a very interesting area to look into for a scientific study and it's perhaps unfair of me to invoke this particular claim when we haven't got the evidence in front of us but there is something very very interesting that I wanted to cite inshallah to Allah and that is of course what I believe many of us have not considered when looking into particularly the claims of atheists that if they did believe in God they would just say it namely why would they claim to be the atheists when truly they believe in God and of course this is something which you know the world is not oblivious to in the realm of psychology in fact many of us as believers to some degree suffer from it too but I argue that the atheists suffer from it to a much higher degree and that degree is of course of course slightly raised in the claims that they make and the defiance of the way they live their lives is of course what we call cognitive dissonance what is cognitive dissonance cognitive dissonance is when I hold two beliefs which are entirely opposed to one another and would essentially invalidate both beliefs because of course and of course this will bring us to another point against the atheists in a few minutes varies the rule of non excluded middle or the rule of excluded middle as it's called by some which is that something is either true or it's false there would never be a position in between true and false because the two are contrary opposites so if I hold one belief which is contrary opposite to the other so for example I believe that God has created every human being equal but then I'm a racist idiot that would be a form of cognitive dissonance because on the one hand I'm claiming that God created everyone equal but on the other hand I believe that just because of the accident of your birth of race you're deficient that's a form of cognitive dissonance or if I believe for example that every if I believe that for example every elderly person needs to be treated with respect but then at the same time I hold the belief that if someone's useful to society they should just be removed that again is cognitive dissonance because it would necessitate that I invalidate the first belief so this problem known as the problem of self-deception is one that has long been noted by psychologists philosophers historians and others and this concept of self-deception is something which is very very real and what I mean by very real here is that we notice there are those who even acknowledge that there is a desire to downplay the role of God and the necessity of God because it doesn't fit their desires in fact there have been some studies carried out on some of the most major atheists thinkers of the 20th century in regards to why they had such a distaste for the concept of God and in many cases there is a psychological trauma in their childhoods which caused for them to have this level of hatred but of course those studies are not necessarily as conclusive as say the study I've just cited from the international journal for the psychology of religion which is why I'm not necessarily going to cite from now but I am going to quote some very interesting quotes from the self-admissions of certain atheist thinkers Thomas Nagel is a philosopher and an atheist and a particularly great philosopher in the philosophy of science he states the following I want atheism to be true and I'm uneasy by the fact that some of the most intelligent and well-informed people I know are religious believers it isn't just that I don't believe in God and naturally hope that I'm right in my belief it's that I hope there is no God I don't want there to be a God I want the universe to be I don't want the universe to be like that now of course this is Thomas Nagel and he's cited here from the secular and philosophy and the religious temperament book which was published in 2005 that is one quote I did want to elaborate on more but inshallah to Allah that should suffice for tonight and we will continue with more quotes later on والسلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته