Ladies and gentlemen, give me one second here now. Okay, get that get that camera pristine hold on Get that old good light on hold on now Get the gut lotion on my hand real quick.  So I say, you know what? Let me go ahead and do these lives on the weekdays. So Monday Wednesday Thursday sometimes Tuesday, I'll pop in and do a live. So I think now my live's gonna be on the weekdays The ratio would you be able to ghost write a book about alcoholism as you said you don't drink? What are the costs of ghost writing? commission-based book sales or a one-time lump sum I Actually retired from ghost writing just cuz I got a Lot of work to do myself. So I retired from ghost writing. I got one One more book to finish on the ghost writing side and I retired December 31st 2019 but I do have a team of ghost writers I got two or three other ghost writers that can help you with that and it's typical up front one-time fee My fee was 10,000 On the market, you got some coaches I mean some ghost writers charge up to 50,000 So it's not Inexpensive thing it is costly and it is hard to You can imagine how hard it is to write your own book. So imagine writing somebody else's book It is not easy by any stretch of the imagination relationship good but not seeing each Each much to much due to the 19 he keeps saying I deserve better and he'd understand if I need more than he can give Missy in a nice way. He's trying to let you down in a nice way So he's trying to tell you going about your business and move on with your life and he's trying to say it as nice as possible But what he really means is I don't want you and don't want to be with you But I don't want to tell you that because I don't want to crush you So instead I'm telling you that I'm not good enough for you With the hopes that you will listen to me and have the strength to walk away. That's what he's trying to say Ashley God bless you now. I just want to thank you today. I've been depressed these days and your message today really uplifted me Hey, God bless you. I'm glad to help you. Um, Jamie Williams ain't blessing. I appreciate that Now bless him. Let me see. Hi Tony. Why do some men view a woman? Disliking or not too fond of his cultural food as a sign of disrespect Yeah, he just Yeah, it's not a real thing He he he just sensitive Then that how do you edit your YouTube videos? I Don't edit my YouTube videos. I don't know if you saw a Video if you saw a video that's edited like with that that's professionally shocked Like I'm sitting at my desk and the camera is far away from me and they have you know Words coming in or something that was done by a professional But the videos that you see me do daily those aren't edited I shoot on my cell phone and I upload it right from my phone. So it's just a raw File, it's a one take. I don't do any editing because it'll take too long because I'm talking for an hour then sometimes it might take 20 to 30 minutes to upload because it got a render and all that So it take a little minutes.   I just gave him we just we just gave him $500 a day They got straight age no a-minuses for the fourth report card get four report cards a year And I reward them some people say on reward my kids for doing what they supposed to do I reward them cuz life rewards you when you do what you supposed to do and so But now we'll have to be on them like that same thing every aspect of life You got to come in and set the tone Anderson I'm forgiving if I'm saying your name wrong You have really saved me and give me hope of a real relationship. I just want to say thank you Hey, God bless you now Shakita. Herrick are blessing. I should keep I see you up there all the time bless you Peace and base bless you now bless you Tony your message is making me a feminine good life Hey, that's probably not Why does a calling have to be heavy on the heart Tony? I Believe that when you call to something you're not going to be called to something that's weak You're not going to be called or something. That's easy That's the purpose of a calling is to do a mighty work even if it's in small bits and pieces So you're calling and your purpose typically is always going to be greater than you bigger than you and Not everybody's going to appreciate what you're doing. So that's also really what makes it even more draining But I can't fully understand why look crystal God bless you now How do you stay motivated when your company is not making any money and you don't have a following?  What can you do to go to the next thing? And if you don't have something then you got to do something about it So if you don't have a following then you got to find out how to build your follow So do you like Twitter? Do you like Facebook? Do you like Instagram? Do you like you too? You see what I mean and Once you find the one that you like it'll start earning you more in a month than you used to earn on your job in a year K no bondage God bless you now bless you Brianna be bless you It's that I dated for Three months reached out and made me a very special gift for Mother's Day. It's been a year I don't know how to feel about this. What should I do? You shouldn't do anything you only dated three months. You just say thank you and keep it keep it moving Thank you. Keep keep going about your business, you know Don't don't don't let it trip you up anytime you getting ready. You on the brink of Destiny you will have a distraction. You was with them already in the past It only lasted three months gone about your business. Don't let somebody come in and trip you up life for V bless you now Amelia Part in a long distance love for one year With other women. What should I do? Let them go Don't ever hold on to a long distance relationship. That's not bringing life to you Keyleth bless you now. Keyleth God bless you Showing out again. I so appreciate you Now y'all make sure y'all put the hashtag Q In front of your question Hello, a guy really like is 31. I'm 32. He treats me right and says he really wants to be with me But it's inconsistent With a job and it's focused on becoming a professional gamer At the same time should I run?   So how was your day today? Oh? Really, okay. Wow. It looked like your teeth are getting bigger. How's everything going?  You with that man right now? Merriam God bless you now. Hi Tony.  It depends on you if you're not confrontational you could just let him text himself To the board if you don't mind speaking up and saying hey, please don't text me again I have moved on with my life and you should move on with yours Then go ahead and say that it depends. It's on you The ratio God bless you now I may may not only be speaking for myself But I have missed the interaction and knowledge with you very helpful and I always forward To the look forward to these lives a bless you. I sure appreciate that now K no bondage Tony. I have a male friend who treats me like a queen shows PDA In front of his family and friends yet has not made a commitment. What do I do ignore him or wait? It sounds like that you feel in a role in his life But that he's not really sure about you and is not really all the way into you, but You're a role player. You see what I mean. So Role players gonna get some love, you know a role player gonna have a Career high one night and look like they could be the future of the franchise But really no that just was one night next next game. We going back to LeBron. Okay, you had your little 20 All right now go about your business. That's what it sound like what he's doing with you is you fill in the role but if he's a male friend keyword friend and Then he's showing this PDA, but he has not made a commitment Okay, if you don't don't be showing no PDA if you want to make no commitment because he's showing PDA and could be blocking your Blessing it could be a man who read it looking for a wife ready to make a move and then he see him holding your hand or Hugging on you or something like that and he blocking your blessings and he's not even commitment minded Gina God bless you now considering the divorce rate is around 50% in your opinion What percentage of the ones that remain married? Do you believe are actually happy? Well for one you can't really Listen to all the statistics just because for one they ain't spending that much money that gather them statistics throughout all the states To a lot of people don't tell their business when they stay married a lot of people don't feel a lot of senses and then three What you have to realize is that? if 50% Get divorced Then you don't know the percentage of the people who? Was together and never got married never even got married, but yet Went through when it went really good or it went really bad So to be honest with you with marriage it really divorced is not indicative of Whether those that stay married are happy or not or those that got a divorce Well is is something that really count because sometimes people get married for the wrong reason people get married And they have different beliefs system and to be honest with you Nobody really knows love what I've learned as a relationship coach 99.9 percent of people don't know what real love is So you can't really look at the statistics and what you have to realize is that? We'll never really know the true number and what it is because Everything in our society is accepted is accepted today So if people were not happy we will have 90% divorce rates if marriage did not work We'll have 90% divorce rates Because people not don't fear divorce today people don't to fear divorce. They ain't worried about it at all.  Thanks for allowing God to use you just listening has transformed my life. Hey bless Yeah, I appreciate that blessing. I'll be honest with you. I won't be knowing what I'd be saying on these here chats I've been answering the question and forget what I'm said Gemini God bless you now my son's father and I dated in high school He re-entered my life last year and now we have a three-month old How can I cut this soul tie but still allow him in my son's life? He still tells me he loves me and I love him What should I do? well, yep, it sound like your question coming a little too late, but What you're gonna have to do is You're gonna have to go through a process again some new knowledge Because what it sounds like to me is you don't understand me and You don't understand relationships You don't understand a woman's influence and so you're gonna have to go on to my mentor dot life Book a session with me or another coach like me and start to get this new knowledge so that you could understand the dynamics of love and Relationship so you can understand some key steps that you need to take to begin your healing process if coaching not affordable Go to Tony gasses academy calm take the soul ties course Tony is the life coach course certified through International Coach Federation raise the sunshine. That's a good question the International Coach Federation really is not certified themselves or accredited because Accreditation is not a thing in life coaching. So the reason why you have that impression is Because they spend over six hundred thousand dollars a year in internet marketing So when you Google become a life coach, they come up at the top, but they are non-profit organization started by businessman Who was looking to capitalize on the industry?  So life coaching is an independent. You're an independent agent. It's not like becoming a counselor accreditation accreditation Certification really matters when you are becoming a counselor or a therapist because you govern by the state life coaching is It's wide open and for lack of better term. It's the Wild Wild West. So it's really You do you So you would really be wasting money to pay a whole bunch for a certification that cost 5,000 10,000 12,000 because it's not gonna give you any more results than my certification that costs a thousand and You don't need any of us You can go downtown and get you an office if you want to have an office. I work from home I coach in my pajamas and so and I am a life coach for professional sports teams Which is multi billion dollar corporations college sports teams high schools elementary middle schools private schools so I coach for all these different organizations and I was not trained. I'm self-taught and I built success and that's why I train others So when you think about certification and accreditation and coaching you got to look at the creator of the course Not just oh, it's accredited because it don't mean anything in coaching Coach rock God bless you now. Hi Tony. I finished writing my first book. I Got a quote from someone to publish and to edit it and to format it also to do the book cover for 1300 do you think that is a good route to take? That's a fair price. You just need to look at their body of work You know look at their body of work. You could get it done for a lot cheaper than that So to be honest with you today with Fiverr being out there Fiverr. That's F.  So you might need to take the birth your book program or Taking invest in a one-on-one session with myself So if you didn't understand everything in the course so you could get the full run down So you don't spend too much money because with that 1300 you might be You might be five hundred dollars over what you can get it get it out there for I don't publish this books for $400 or less Should my boyfriend respond on Queen VV? I'll see you right here. Should my boyfriend respond to anyone outside of business in DMs Past friends high school. Am I wrong for feeling away if he feels the need to keep in contact? um well It's Subjective, you know it if he's open with it and you know about it then That's not as bad as if he's doing and he's hiding and he's sneaking But if you know about it that mean either he told you or You got his password now if you had to snoop to find out now you got a problem And so some people you may just respond to because it may be a connection It may be could be something but typically me myself personally being a married man I don't respond to DMs. I don't respond to DMs unless I see it's a business move I see it's a certain type of connection, you know to where I could see that it could be beneficial Brand-wise business-wise, but I don't respond in the DMs to people asking for advice for people just saying hey I don't do that because especially to women because you never know what a person motives are so To be safe. No, he should not be doing that But again every situation could be different and so you have to look into that to see if it really makes sense Love I am bless you now. Hello Tony and Cherie. Can you do a video on divorce couples with children who are Getting remarried for example, how would they start to date again? Okay, I'll try to I Got a video that's called how to date correctly it will apply to that It's no different rule for somebody who's divorced when it comes to dating you still will date the same way Somebody who's never been married with date, you know, and then when you have children I got a video on that as well. So you may have to just scroll through my videos Because it all applies it's not really it's this is not gonna be That different and if you watch those and you didn't get what you need you probably need a one-on-one session Melissa winstack up. Bless you now. I treated my boyfriend very nice now ex We were shopping and I sat down to try on shoes He pointed his finger at me in the store yelled Keep your you know what seated and I'll get you shoes to try on Why was he mean to me? Since I since I really don't know I really don't I don't understand that right there now Don't have a clue. Okay, don't have a clue sis Don't have a clue. I that that right there a man point his finger at you talking to you like a little puppy sit sit So that right there says I Well, let's not let's not worry about that. That's your ex. It's your ex. Let's keep moving. All right Striving serving her faith Tony. Thank you for speaking out against the extreme movements of some men and women and instead speaking truth grounded in the remembrance of God Balance and rations. Hey God bless you now. Got to keep it real. Got to keep it real like hell Rocks it bless you bless you in the you and first lady be blessed and enjoy Mac don't Rocks to hurt my video talk about that Mac don Well, we got the health nuts in here He complains that I don't call enough, but yet he doesn't call every day Every other day or two days should I meet him in the middle? No, you should not a man should be calling you every day He should be initiating and he should be calling you every day and if he's not calling you every day and even he should have a Record and a history of calling you every day and then you can call him and initiate Some days if he's already consistently initiating and I call it a three to one ratio So that if he called you Monday Tuesday Wednesday, you could initiate on Thursday and hit him before he hits you Then he may hit you on Friday Saturday Sunday Then you hit him Monday now You don't have to be exact with that But it definitely should not be one-to-one because see the man is the one who has to get on one knee and propose So the man should be actively pursuing you and trying to let you know that hey I want you even when you look at the animal kingdom and you see how all the stuff that the different animals will do The male animals will do when it's time to mate God they lose they mine So the same thing with a human men do the same thing when a man really want a woman Not gonna be going back and forth with you by oh, you don't really call me and then he calling you every other day That's a sign that he does not want you that he's juggling other women. He's juggling other women He preoccupied and so you get Monday. She get Tuesday Another one get Wednesday. You get summer Thursday. She gets summer Thursday. He juggling women a man That's all about you.  I'm 23 turned it down.   You see what I mean? That's what that's like So you ain't tripping at all Can a man be calling and texting every day and still be playing games and talking to other women too Absolutely out a man could be walking on the moon and calling you and Talking to you every day He can have apartment on the moon and keeping touch with you every day now I'm a could do a whole lot a man could be living with you and have a whole nother relationship with a woman So it ain't nothing a man can't do that. He want to do that he put his mind to Life for V bless you now Now life of V you gonna have to do the other kind of sticker I don't know what you're doing if it's a stick or if it's a super chat I don't know what you're doing But what the one that you did don't do that one no more because that's how you get missed because it goes in the chat You don't go to the top of the thing Being approached by a guy But you want his friend You're out of luck and the reason why You want his friend and you being approached by a guy is friend don't want you So don't worry about it because the one who wants you the most that's who gonna come for you So if a guy let his friend go get you That's because he feel you want his friend level you not on his level So what he won't don't look like you so that's what you got to understand Man with me and I and they look at this. Hey, that's mine. That's mine I got I got the one who looked the best and the one who got the most confidence he gonna go get her if He let look ugly come get you that mean that he feel he's on another level too, you know And that's how I look hard to hear but just understand don't lose no sleep over that If you don't want the man that approach you gone by to business But don't try to talk to the man that approach you hoping that one day you could get close to the friend Mm-hmm, you're gonna end up getting hurt Andrea God bless you now listen to a woman's influence three times. I'm happy to say I'll no longer settle for microwave Relationships. I only want oven baked. Hey, God bless you now three times Power now, let me see No V you got a part two question. I only do part one questions. I can't get to your part one Hi Tony, what do you why do you think couples are having issues with their relationships with this night? Now in the situation that we have right now It's gonna make or break relationships It's gonna build you closer than you ever been because you're getting to spend time and you're getting to talk and you're getting to Build and bond in a different way, or it's gonna expose you It's gonna break you because now you force to stay home be with each other and talk to Especially for people who can't go to work because a lot of time people could go to work and they get to go And talk they get to see they work husband They get to see they work wife. They get to get that extra, you know, little Energy and people could have a whole work husband or work wife and could be Getting it in in the break room in the back seat of the car before they come home But now you ain't got no reason to go out You you supposed to be safer at home.  We have to co-parent would rather go through his wife You want a tough situation right there? Um, I wouldn't be petty, you know, I wouldn't be petty and let his wife know you know him That was your ex-husband.   Don't even answer the phone What if his friend approached me before he had the chance to it all happened so fast, but you're right I will move on no Everything organized with me and ain't nobody approaching nobody and if the friend saw you and you really ain't done None with this man. Y'all ain't slept together. Y'all ain't really done nothing the friend of negotiate a man Let me have a man. You don't even know how you don't even want her and you know that more my style And and and a friend I said, all right. Yeah, you call it all I let her know that's what guys do guys ain't guys ain't like Women when it come to that, you know a woman could talk to a man for half an hour and Then her friend like that man and that woman will hate her friend for the rest of her life if her friend end up talking to that Man, that's not how men are men known to and past and past a man will gladly pass you to his friend because that's just how men built so if The friend don't ain't came to you and don't want you ain't talking to you It's already done. They're gonna move on about your business We broke up. He stopped talking to me for the second time. So I'm done with it three days later He's texting me about $30. He owes me that he's going to give Give it to me. So I let him keep it and move on. Yes, absolutely That's just a way to get back in your life. Just a way to get a response. You don't don't shift your energy over $30 Now I feel $3,000 It feels even $300 But $30 if it was $90, I might think about $30 God bless you Tony. Is it wrong the whole fellow Christians accountable not judging for smoking weed? Daily who may not see it as simple. Do you feel that it's a sin and that it grieves the Holy Spirit? well, the thing about it is is the Bible say obey the laws of the land and If it's not helping your body and and if it's illegal, then it's a sin So if it's illegal, it's a sin. It could be legal and that don't mean that it's right either but if the Bible telling you not to be a drunker and not to do things in excess that could Be a hindrance to your brethren. The Bible also tell you not to be a hindrance to your brother So you you might feel like a curse curson is not a sin But if that hinders your brethren's growth or your sister now you in the wrong, so Yes, smoking weed is wrong because it's not right for you It's not healthy for your body and also it's a hindrance because it is an addiction So when you get addicted to something now, you cannot focus on the things that really matter in its fullness and its Entirety a lot of people don't believe that because what's wrong has been made normal But if it's harming your body if it ain't adding years to your life If it's still making your lungs black if it's still affecting your esophagus if it's changing your your mental chemistry and I used to be in the streets hustling and it's one thing I could tell you about that there is Everybody changes People try to say it's innocent and it's harmless. No, it's a drug and it affects you like a drug It changes you because I see people who was cool and now they ain't got they they ain't got they little hit Now they got an attitude they snapping on you. What man?  You're gonna be out of character and if it's illegal you breaking the law. So yes but this is the other thing that you got to realize about holding somebody accountable is Just like in Hollywood, they don't accept unsolicited materials So if you write a script and you send it to Sony They're gonna send it right back to you unopened It's gonna it's gonna have a sticker that say this was not open and then return the sender They don't accept unsolicited material the same thing happened with your advice If this not your friend or your family member or even if it is Somebody wrote in the date on the comment today. I mean on the email today trying to give me a spiritual advice or Christian advice I'm like if you don't get out my inbox They ain't nobody asked you for your opinion the Bible say don't be so hip or heavenly minded that you know earthly good I mean talking about something so petty and I say if you don't get out of here Pharisee So people don't accept unsolicited Advice so you got to make sure you have a relationship with the person before you just have Advice or you put your advice in a public space and then they come to your Advice or you post it on your Facebook and they see it and it convict a spirit So understand that done now Amy God bless you now dated a divorced man who didn't want a commitment. He wanted to stay hanging out and spend time together I told him not and will not wait for him thoughts. You did the right thing.  Hey God bless you now keep going keep going Hey, y'all only put questions in the chat. I only put questions in the chat We don't really have room for the comments and you know answering other people questions and all that They put questions in the chat so I could keep it clear so I could see Quickly and easily the questions SJ taking your life coaching course a blessing now. How can I incorporate a faith-based platform? Please advise I want to encourage restoration You can put it in in your bio that you a faith-based coach You could select that as your category that you a faith-based coach So it's not hard. It just really comes down to just writing it Just writing it in your bio that you a faith-based coach The only thing about that is then you only reach people of faith and those people may not necessarily need you Because they already got faith So you limit yourself from reaching people who may be on the fence or who may not want to hire a faith-based coach But they may actually be open to hearing the principles and the teachings of your faith or Just interacting with you They can see your heart and your spirit and say, you know How did you become this way and then you're able to share your faith? So sometimes when what we do wrong as people of faith is we write it on our forehead And we walk around personal faith personal faith personal faith, and we carry in the Bible round, you know a personal faith a Personal faith a you said I mean and now you can't reach people like that So you got to be like the Bible say wise as a serpent and harmless as a dove when you're trying to win souls So be mindful on just your wording as you see I'm a devout Christian and I speak on my faith and I teach on my faith, but it's not in my bio It's not in my title. You know you just It might be a total different message that pulls you in it's people who are atheist people who are Muslim People who are different denominations They find me because it's a message and then they learn about my faith and they say hey I learned about your faith and that made me look deeper or that made me get closer in my faith or Become more whatever spiritual or whatever, but they were brought in by something else So you got to be you know wise on how you worded and how you use it Gea God bless you now. Can you explain what respect looks like? Coming from a grown boy L. O. I walked away from my ex eight months and he recently got hired at a job. He tries to flirt, but I don't entertain it. I Don't know a grown boy is not going to have any respect.  Good evening, Tony Just broke up with this man after two years due to inconsistency and behavior slash boundaries being broken Now he consistently calls from various numbers asking for a final chance thoughts You got to ask yourself if you got a final chance to give because remember If you give that chance and then he do right for a year and then go right back to his same ways Now you don't lost a year. So you got to ask yourself Are you okay taking that chance knowing that you could lose again? And if you feel like if he leads you on and you lose again, it's gonna break you beyond repair You may never trust men again Then don't give him another chance if you feel like you can give him another chance and If he does wrong you still can heal and start all over again and love as if you've never been hurt before Then it's okay to give him a chance. You also need to have some stipulations in place before you give him a chance So what I mean by stipulation is you may say hey Let's read this book together and see if he bought it. Hey, let's read this book after that See if he bought it. Hey, you need to do four sessions of coaching you need to go to my mentor dot life and and book a coach and Do at least four sessions put some stipulations in place to see if he's willing to do the work I Coach the gentleman today that that's what he's doing He's doing the work to show his lady that he won't be that he's serious about this change On Coco Chanel God bless you now Tiffany. Do you think older women should lower their standards? Not preferences because of their age. Absolutely. Not absolutely not you can't ever operate from desperation Tim Henderson or Henson God bless you now one of my cousin Dark skin, but some of the guys she liked don't like dark skin women If shrunk her self-esteem, can you speak to this?  What can I do? Why are men like that? Well, what your cousin has to understand and everybody in that situation what you have to understand is that Everybody has their own preferences and everybody has their own prejudices So whenever somebody does not want you that's not a knock against you It just mean that you too great to fit into that mediocre space.  That's not your reflection. See When you realize that when somebody pushes you away and I just made that up right there now. Whoo, what I said Rejection is your protection not your reflection. So when the guy say, oh, I don't like dark skin women It may be an inner self-hate. It may be systematic Racism it may be if he dark skin then you know it self-hate You know it's something that he's been taught that his color is unattractive If he's not dark skin, then you know it is something that he's been programmed with through Society to believe that that color is unattractive So you got to understand that that's his problem And so you never want somebody to you never want to have to convince somebody to allow you in their space or allow You in their life and so understand that you you got to appreciate and respect that man Anything that does not serve you It's not for you and once you realize that you better off And you're gonna be able to move forward and really be blessed because eventually she made me the guy that she likes Who was totally fine with her? Complexion black diamond God bless you now Hey y'all now don't y'all get offended when your message in the chat get deleted They doing that just so I could get to the questions easier when I get down to about the last 15 minutes I'll let the moderators stop removing the messages and you know you'll be able to Talk is as normal black diamond blessing now. Hello, mr. Gaskin Why do men say they pull away because they are catching feelings and are scared I call it BS am I correct? Yep, you are absolutely correct a lot of time men don't like to tell you the real reason and And because a lot of men don't want to hurt your feelings or crush you just like these men who didn't like the sister complexion They let her know that she found out about that and it's it crushed her So a lot of times a man would try to come up with an excuse a roundabout way to tell you That you're not the one for him, but he may try to put it on something else So whatever excuse he give you you just got accepted and move on with your life Don't don't try to dig deeper and get the real reason just say okay, whatever you telling me Why are you telling me this basically you telling me you don't want me?   Can you please give advice on someone who threatens your life in the police do nothing even after seeing? No, I cannot but God bless you keep calling keep calling them police, but I Can't speak on stuff like that. They're too much liability God bless you now. We're praying for you Loving and living bless you now Tony you said most men know whether you are their wife pretty early on What then are your tips for having a great first date and leaving a good first impression? Just be yourself. You see you can't think about how you need to impress somebody You just got to be yourself like right now. I'm just being myself. I'm talking in my accent So that mean I'm gonna leave the end of some words off.  I like to do I can relate this do we sound relatable? So people gonna judge you but that's on them You can't worry about that so don't worry about a first impression Just go in there and just be yourself And that's the one mistake the same question that you just asked a lot of women asked it asking them themselves that question And so sometimes I meet a woman at an event and she put in too much sauce on it She put in too much sauce on her personality She trying to talk a certain way trying to be funny trying to be extra and it's kind of like Will you hush and get out my face and then the person who just come up and just be natural be normal They might even be quiet. They I've been one time later came up to me to take a picture And I went to shake a hand. She said I don't shake me in hand I was like wow she could have faked it She could have faked and went on shook my hand and then put some hand sanitizer on there She said I don't shake me in hand. I said, okay. Hey, I respect that she said my dad I always told him not shake a man hand.  I'm really clicking with a guy, but he is always talking about his friends who are girls I'm annoyed some are childhood friends, but I'm rolling my eyes. I started distancing myself thoughts You did the right thing You did the right thing He might be in love with one of those friends and just not able to make the move She may be taken or he may be waiting for her to be single And so what a man talk about that's really what his heart is that Outside of you. So if and if he's talking about other women to you That's a red flag because even if they are his friend and he liked them he cool with them Every man knows that you need to make your woman feel like she's the only woman in the world You know, my wife might ask me about another woman and she might look at a woman.  She ain't pretty to me I don't care who said she looked good.  Oh, okay, your favorite rapper. Okay, bless you A Woman's influence is a book that I didn't know I needed purchase the audio to support Finished in one day exactly what I needed during this season Buy it. It will bless you Take what resonates disregard what doesn't he's a vessel to say the least a God bless you now She talking about this book right here. If you have not gotten the woman's influence Make sure you get I think you get it for free on audible if you sign up for the free trial But I don't know how that works now.  We're in contact a lot. He insists via text phone FaceTime DMs no over the line, but it's a strong soul type.    No playboy You got a girlfriend stay off my line because I need to have my line open for who I'm trying to attract That's what you got to let him know in your own words Tonya Jordan. God that should not You know broke up over a month ago still Still has large stuff of mine in his garage garage is mostly empty and I know he goes in there for Garbage cans and truck Hasn't reached out to me about getting it yet. Why?  Come on now. I'm telling you Tony tell us Why are you not supposed to shake a man's hand? Hey? That what the lady told me now y'all meanwhile and told you about now Handler Okay, that's probably why her daddy told her that Because he know men be dealing with hands a lot and he don't want to be nasty man hands Dealing with Angela because this man could be dealing with Angela and he might have something on Okay That is incurable. So imagine if a man just got done handling Himself and then he come shake your hand you catching more than the 19 So that's how her daddy thinking now.  They're gonna look at a light Okay, yeah, she got mental issues go ahead. Oh, yeah, this interview over. Thank you for coming by You see I'm saying he would have been better off Just getting her some hand sanitizer to put on her key chain then telling her that but that's really why he told her that Crystal God bless you why does it seem like that I keep attracting the same type of men I thought that I have took the proper steps to heal Is it something that I'm still doing wrong to attract these type of men?   I'd be missing Lonnie love He says he wants me to be his wife one day He barely texts or calls Works 12 hours a day Said he doesn't like using the phone only calls to see me He taking he taking From experience Muscle women don't shake the hands of men. Hey, God bless you. There's one. No muscle what I'm talking about They want no muscle here Let me see Okay, Jay pretty to you God bless you. Thank you Tony for the wisdom and knowledge I took your advice and I'm no longer on the dating apps turn 31 in March and been fasting from social media since January No desire to reactivate. Do you think it'll be? different To meet or difficult To meet mr. Right if you're not on social media It definitely limits your chances But it's not a whole lot of real that's you know connections on social media So it's not the end of the world But yes, there's a lot of people mean people in the DM But it you know nine out of ten on might be trash connection So it's not the end of the world. Don't do anything that's gonna defile your spirit Don't do anything that's gonna disrupt your your peace So if social media calls you you know anxiety stress then stay off of it Don't get on there for the sake of a man now if you could learn how to manage it and Compartmentalize it to where it doesn't disrupt you or make you feel a certain way then it's totally fine You know then you should be on there because you can't meet somebody who in the next county over or what have you? Brianna God bless you my ex reached out to me to apologize So I heard him out, but I don't want to get back with him He was controlling obsessive when we dated. How do I verbalize this to someone who won't let me go? He'll let you go now He will let you go. You just got to find the words to go on say it But he will let you go and sometimes we just don't want to say it the way just say hey listen You really we really don't have a chance You know you ever seen a snowball in the devil's house in AT double L That's the amount of chance that we have we tried it didn't work out So for us to talk you will be wasting your time.  Well, all right. Well great talking to you. All right You that's how you talking. He's not gonna let you go. Well, I don't really know I just really don't know how I feel, you know, we went through a lot, but I don't know That's how you talking.  Thank you for your guidance and insight question Why do men flip the script on women once you have called out the immature behavior? He had the audacity to say I am insecure It's just a you know a common tactic when a man is caught when a man get caught up in in this situation He embarrassed on what what doctor said You know what we hear about reverse psychology what have you the Jedi mind trick he just want to you know Deflect put it on you because he knows that it's power in words. So if he says you insecure a Lot of women five out of ten women They're gonna believe that and they're gonna question themselves and say, you know what?  I talk but I guess not enough Well, yeah, you got a question you you will have to look at why you so quiet So if you don't want to talk to somebody that might mean you don't want to be around that person Because being quiet is not an excuse to not talk to somebody that you're building with So that's some internal issues because you know how to articulate yourself because you just wrote a whole Message without any typos and misspell words. So you know how to articulate yourself So you got to ask yourself What's really going on internally with you have do you need to confront your insecurity? Do you need to confront your pain? because it's one thing of being shy and being quiet and there's a whole another thing when you are socially awkward because of you know something that's going on in your mind that you haven't confronted and addressed and Got passed. So what you got to realize is that being able to articulate is a part of growth It's a part of maturity. I'm very quiet and shy But look what I'm doing right now and a lot of people don't believe that I'm quiet and shy based on what I'm what I do But I'm very quiet and shy, but this is a part of my growth This is a part of my maturity. This is a part of me doing what needs to be done Not what feels comfortable. So a communicate communication in a relationship is Like oxygen to life. So if you want to have a relationship You have to learn how to communicate better and you can't just rely on the excuse of I'm quiet I'm shy because To be quiet means that it don't mean that you don't talk when you wit somebody and y'all supposed to be talking and building Quiet being quiet means that when you go into a room You ain't trying to be the life of the party when you sitting at a table of five six people You ain't talking over everybody.  So you have to understand really wear and win and You know how to be quiet Versus allowing that you know Limiting thought to box you in and make you socially awkward or rude or Unrelatable Anderson Godfrey should not recently broke up with a guy who changed and made me feel uncomfortable I broke it off and asked him. Why did he treat me that way? His answer was he didn't mistreat me He didn't give me the attention. I wanted Um Whatever his answer was just know that you broke it off and you got to move on, you know a lot of time He's not accepting responsibility So you can't really worry about that is you know how he made you feel Black diamond God bless you now me again. I'm a store manager and I have Build anxiety in my position and sometimes feel overwhelmed. Should I stick it out or run?  I need her to have caramel skin I need her to shower two times a day. I need her to have a face routine He's just looking for a decent human being meaning that a woman who is going to be respectful She's not calling him out of his name. She's not yelling and cursing and taking her past pain out on him She's going to be honest.   Hey, what's this? What's that? Just be a good person. Just be a good person. Work on yourself consistently In every area of your life life love and business and you gonna attract the person for you Kathy God bless you now Now y'all hold on I might have missed a couple of Rachel K put a message in that disappear ladies. I can help you my mentor dot life for slash Rachel Book me as your coach on my mentor dot life. So you got Rachel K now. She a coach on my mentor How can women do? Lovely roses. I see you right here.  Mmm. Now he talking a whole hour, but you look very interested cuz you listening Been dating the guy for three weeks good communication last night He asked when was the last time I had my peach cobbler eating. I cut him off thoughts Um, three weeks. Yeah, you did the right thing. He nasty you did the right thing.  He nasty Marcia God bless a guy met wants a relationship with me But I just got out of a relationship that lasted for a month, but he doesn't want to feel Like a rebound thoughts Well for one you shouldn't even mention a relationship that lasted a month A month that wasn't even a relationship. That wasn't even a friendship. That was like a You know hay and bye a month.  Everything can't be called relationship. So you got to set new boundaries What's your relationship when a man come to you and he's been consistent and he says will you be my woman? Can we be exclusive and then y'all go and y'all go up to a year? That's your relationship anything under under a year. You can't count that you Not in conversation you might know it, but you don't take that and add it to your resume. Mm-hmm.  They delete it on my end now Y'all might see it on y'all in cuz stuff stays stationary, but on my end it get deleted After that time will go out Starlena bless you now.  No, you got the curse. No, you got the you know how that a Clown jump out at you So that's what you got to realize man say that by itself Got to go and then up the other thing is that's your father you dating your father 15 years older than you It's me and that's they age different what they don't so that's what you got to understand Um MJ Cooper Tony, what if he slaps you and says he'll never love you like he loves His ex and then you try to leave and he threatens to take your life and anybody who you get with Hey, sis when you in a situation like that you on the wrong place Okay, you need to be on the police hotline Alright on the DV hotline, you don't need to be in the chat talking to me Somebody like that doing all that up. Oh, yes. Hello. Oh, yes.  But don't don't don't play around with a man like that because you can't play with situation like that You got to be serious about your life now Because of you because because you just here in the chat talking about it. Come on now.   I'm gonna call them again You mean but yeah, you you might need to get some, you know grief counseling or work with a counselor on that one Nereisha McLeod Thank you brother for the golden nuggets you drop this evening. Thank you ladies for the wonderful questions You have asked a God bless you and I appreciate you and And now y'all hold on now. I missed some of the Probably miss a couple of the things in here and you bae God bless you. No, I appreciate that blessing. Let me see. Let me make sure I might have missed a couple of them Yes, MJ Cooper. I don't write another book Shannon amber. Hey Tony. I have a friend that calls me every day Conversation is two hours minimum every time he has never flirted. What does he want? That means that he really respects you and that he feel he has to work hard for you And so he easing his way in, you know, he's taking his time Stephanie see God bless you now. That's all it is Nits Nitsa Borica I'm Puerto Rico and Lived in a 90% Puerto Rico area. So only dated Puerto Rico men Moved now I'm in mainly white slash black city been off my bike for four years to grow Does your advice carry to all men no matter race? Well, if you went dating Puerto Rico Then you probably extremely trained Okay, that's like going to you know the special ops Which is the hardest training in the army and then you come out of there because he didn't want to recommend their handful now Anytime you get a little in his man, I mean their handful their handful in the streets They some of the most fear in the streets They what you call like the man's man not not a lot unlike the arts They eyebrows but that don't mean that they saw so when you got in training with them and you never been through that Yeah, you should have no problem with white men and black men, but yeah, all men is the same A lot of time we try to say they they're all men the same it might be a slight difference But if they got things swaying between they led they the same Choctaw dog. Oh, God bless you now Resmit Daniel bless you now been been in a on and off relationship for eight years Let me read this game Let me read this game Been in a on and off relationship for eight years There we go. Let me see them. Hold on Been in a on and off relationship for eight years We live together and own a business We're only 24 and he says he's waiting for more financial stability to get married, but how long is too long? Oh To be honest with you as fast for a man You He hadn't even really started yet a man don't really get going to 25 You already been with him, you know eight eight years. That's already too long. It's already too long Because by the time 18 20 22 he could have married you he could have married now He say waiting for financial stability, but it's no such thing as financial stability. You never financially stable because One Pandemic you could be broke Yeah, all your savings can be gone. All your your stocks could be 50% gone It's no really no such thing as long as you working and you got ambition then you as financially stable as you gonna be point blank period it could be a lawsuit tomorrow that Shut Amazon down it could be a law that changed in five years and the whole Landscape of Amazon chain and then you'll see baseless network even go down and So it's million hours go broke every day being as go broke every day So when men say I'm waiting on financial stability, that's an excuse. That's that really means I'm Waiting to see if it's somebody better than you out there and if I find them I'm gonna drop you like a bad habit and go About my business Hey moderators, you don't have to delete now unless it's inappropriate y'all could take you a little break now Somebody say something crazy gonna delete it Now I'm gonna tell y'all the truth now I can't really keep up with all these blessings y'all send y'all sending me out. I'm missing them So y'all please forgive me not blaming on My head not my heart blaming on my eyes not my heart. I'm trying to keep up with you now Please a blessing now blessing now. I don't know that I appreciate it, but some of them They they they gave me Sin quit God bless you. Thank you Tony. This is like their vice. I was supposed to get growing up from a father uncle Hey, God bless you now Now y'all hold on now crystal Just got a woman's influence. I'm excited a blessing now Now y'all hold on Uh, Andrea blessing now I send that blessing to get you a little laugh and Crystal yes, there are couple sessions on my mentor. Um, You could select couples when you click on browse coaches It's a button that says filter you click that filter then you select the topic of the subject I can't remember what it's called, but it's a drop-down menu of all the subjects You can select couples and then all the coaches who coach on couples It'll come up MJ Cooper God bless you now for your puppet. Let me see DM Addison my ex-boyfriend bless you now is a truck driver on the road. I don't know what OTR mean He has a altitude attitude Short Convo when we do talk Etc. There was no affection really from him before he went on the road So I put him out was I wrong for doing this without warning No, you weren't wrong. He knew what he was doing and why he was doing it MJ blessing now Now y'all hold on now. Let me see some see if I could I got about 10 more minutes on here Cache music blessing. I want to thank you your videos helped me through a hard situation I'm on the path to healing self-love and pursuing my passion Okay, Reese. I'll see you CJ you've been in all your money tonight now Don't send me no bless. I mean MJ Cooper. Don't send me no more blessing now.  Yeah, that was fraudulent. I have no clue who had my card Be on you phone YouTube doing all kind of charge backs MJ Cooper. I don't see your name.  They all sent a lot of Messages and somebody said I miss this but Marcia, I see you Modest and mindful God bless you now Tony. Thank you for all the wonderful advice also side note many women of faith such as Orthodox Muslim and Jewish women do not shake hands of men due to them wanting to practice Modesty and shyness. Hey, God bless you I don't know why y'all send a blessing to give us them random facts, but I really appreciate y'all giving them random facts This boy women's is something special y'all literally will spend money to give us a random fact, but bless you bless you Asia will more if I miss your question post your question again and still a posting that I miss your question Just post your question again, and I might see you Asia blessing I should you be honest with a guy that you are getting to know that you are Keeping your options open if he asked. No, you should not Asia No, you should not you don't I'm Volunteer that information and if he asked you you still don't have to tell him say well, you know I'm just dating probably just like you, you know when a man who wants me he will say to me Hey, will you be my woman and then I'll know that it's time to make a decision to come off the market or you know You don't have to just tell a guy Well, I'm actually keeping my options open your option number three right now If you called me a little bit more text me you could be option number two now to be option number one You see what I mean? You don't ever let your left hand know what your right hand doing That's not your husband So you don't owe him anything and what you got to know about men is a man never telling you his business any time a man telling his business and There's something like about other women.  I have a question if a man you are getting to know Ask you to send a photo of yourself. What does it mean? Is he using it for Hanzala? Where depends on what that photo is like You know what kind of photo he asking for and it could very well be for Hanzala It could very well be See love God bless you now God bless you and y'all hold on Rachel that shit are you able to work through past traumas in a relationship with someone who's also willing to do the inner work Or should you do this separately? Yeah, you can work on it together. Y'all can help each other You do individual coaching sessions that person does individual coaching sessions and then y'all can read the books together Mariam, I see you because I saw you said I miss your question. What do men think about? Woman that post sexy pics on IG not showing skin But tight clothes and if and if you answer to men comments It sound like you're thirst trapping to me a man typically gonna think a woman thirst trapping and If she posting, you know pictures in tight clothes unless you a fashion blogger and you doing outfit of the day Then it's like what else you post in the picture in the tight clothes for So if it's other than to just seek attention and get likes and for people to say oh you look good Oh, that look good from men and women. It's like what else is it for then you need to show these new exclusive shoes So if like you gonna post selfies and showing your clothes and outfit then you need to become a fashion blogger So you get paid for it Otherwise it looked like you just casting yourself out there as bait for compliments and fishing for compliments And that's typically what all selfies really mean because it's like what is the point of a selfie? Because everybody like we know what you look like. So why you posting a selfie? And and that and that selfie do not go with that caption So really what it does it make you look like you thirsty for likes and attention and compliments Because the selfie serves no purpose now if you serve a selfie now if you post a selfie selfie and you say hey You know just wanting to show you about this new foundation I've had some breakouts and some blemishes in my skin So to all the ladies that struggling with your skin adult acne understand that I've gone through that too and This foundation I got on is such and such now that selfie serve a purpose otherwise, it's like You try to show somebody where your clothes come from so they could go get it to and all women do this All women do this pretty much not all women when some women do it ridiculously too much and it just it makes you look vain It makes you look Insecure like you need to be padded on the back. So make your post Mean something, you know make it to where if you post a selfie, it's because that's what you do you want to show people You know Where they could get these jeans from the sale that you got But I'd be seeing women posting picture from the side angle trying to show their booty And they got a Mahatma Gandhi quote in there in the caption and I'm like now What do this got to do with one another and So it just make me and kind of laugh at you and me and just kind of shake their head and just kind of be like Lord Bless her. She needs somebody to hug her But instead be creative post what you're reading Po you could post your healthy meal. You could post your selfie, but Space it out. You ain't got to do one every day Moderators y'all could y'all could take y'all look of rest y'all could go on rest. We bought hit. We bought down here now Um Jennifer rolls. Hey, Mr. Gats, your entrepreneurship course encouraged me to step out on creating faith-based digital artwork Should I make a website or a blog? Yep, you could do both really with like WordPress. You can have the website and the blog Now if I miss your question, I Post your question in there now I might catch it if you've sent a blessing if you paid money And I miss your question Just put it in there. I paid and put your question see because I might have missed one or two of Monica Porter. God bless you. Can you elaborate on how men train you? Um, that's really a full session. We bought coming to the end of this hill now. I'm getting tired But what you got to think about is Anything a man does That is a maladaptive behavior.  That's what he do to you is he trying to show you That you don't matter to him and so you go chasing him And then he he does that now let's celebrate tasha the mentor got my second client today.  It's going to decrease in value June 1st So if you want to be a life coach or a mentor go on get get your life together The pursuit of peace tony you mentioned before a blessing now Men rarely date just one woman at a time and will keep dating until they feel as though they Met their wife and so what makes a woman stand out? Well When a woman stands out it's typically an authentic woman who is comfortable Look at joyous say my client booked another session who is comfortable With herself Meaning that she knows who she is. She's authentic She classes. She confident She cool. She comes. She collected. She humble. She's kind. You see what I mean A decent human being when you've been raised right and if you want to raise right when you learn how to be right That's when you get better. That's when a man says, you know what?  You're going to be happy You're going to be kind and that's what separates a man when I chose my wife. It was because she was balanced She was even killed. She wasn't too loud. She wasn't too quiet You know, she wasn't too nice. She wasn't too mean What I met her I I was dealing with three or four other women So when I met her one woman, she liked argue too much another woman She Didn't she didn't fit in my preferences. She was too slim and she didn't do squats and she didn't shave her legs Another woman. She was too young another woman. She was too tall. So she's sometimes going to be preferences And then sometimes it's gonna but see all of that Wouldn't have mattered them preferences too slim too tall You know to this to that it wouldn't have mattered if they had the same character none of them really professed their faith or Or they over professed their faith my wife. She just lived it. She just felt like a Christian She wasn't preaching she wasn't quoting scripture But she just felt like the love of christ. You see what I mean? So it really comes to just being centered with yourself Male god bless you now. We in overtime right now. I'm trying to get through your questions up here Male god bless you been with my husband for 16 years, but I think he has issues with his sexuality found male Pern on his phone more than once Is it wrong to assume he has these interests? male has been It's been 16 years male And you found male Pern on Well, see sister hold on right quick quick. I need some commercial break Okay, we back live. So the male now hold on now. Let me see this one more time I've been with my husband for 16 years, but I think he has issues with his sexuality Found male Pern on his phone more than once. Is it wrong to assume he has these interests? I'm gonna tell you this male.  I'm gonna tell you like right here now he gonna be He only gonna be watching that for so long.  So that means Y'all aren't protected.   Oh, forgive me. No, brother. I got to go So understand that the night might be the night that you spared. You hear me? got to go um At a cart deep now y'all hold on now Y'all let me get through these last little couple of um questions and I got to go At a cart deep I've been dating a guy for six months and recently we had our first fight Now god bless you for that blessing now He hung up on me to avoid an argument and I text him and call him out Call him out his name. He said it's over and will not call me. Should I move on or keep trying to move on? Move on Move on with your life. Okay, because I think you said recently Yeah, it's been six months Now it ain't really over now. He's probably gonna come back, but And y'all might could work it out, but That right there y'all have to come to a resolution You got to know you can't ever call him out of his name again And he got to know he can never hang up the phone again Y'all got to talk like adults and get through the situation And talk through and if you can't talk through situation without hanging up or calling names Y'all ain't gonna never work. It ain't meant to be you can never go there. You can never go there 415 Money god bless you now. I just watched your how to move on video But in my case, he was a great man. He just didn't feel the same about me From one day to another I'm confused Uh, you move on the same way You just move on the same way you still got to block him or cut him off still got to go on about your business It means that he just does not what he does not know what he wants and He don't know what he wants or he doesn't want you So either way, it's the same thing.  Now y'all forgive me now Shanice, I see you God bless you now Let me do a quick scroll through here And see MJ Cooper still empty not Her bank account and help bless you now MJ cool and put so many little blessings in there They're gonna be on that phone tomorrow Line up stormy YouTube. Oh somebody stole my card Tony what are the top things grown men look for in a woman? Happen fulfill bless you also besides being yourself. What are your tips for dating? Oh Y'all don't really be blowing me. Uh, no, Tony. Okay Now when I still do you want me to put all five toes on the ground? Or just four of them Now, it's nothing outside of that ain't nothing outside of that happen fulfill Okay, when I say what wrong men look for in a woman, I don't answer that nine times a night So you might have to just watch the video back again Also, besides being yourself. What are your tips for dating? Just be yourself that encompasses everything Now I got a video called how to date correctly Where basically I'm just telling you keep your legs closed keep your lips to yourself And just build just calm and say get know one another But it's it's it's honestly y'all it's not rocket science It ain't it's just you being a decent human being and you literally saying Does it make sense to let somebody put their lips on mine? They could have the 19 They could have hs one right now with a little break out. They could have mono Does it make sense for me to let somebody put their lips on mine and I don't know them Does it make sense for me to give my body to something get on my bike give my body to someone And I don't know them We we this not my husband. You see what I mean? You just take yourself through just your common sense Detector Does it make sense to let this man come into my house? And I just met him. That's only our second date And I don't know if this Ted Bundy nephew Does it make sense for me to loan this man money? We're not even in a relationship. I met him on plenty of fish of Bumble and Now he got this crisis and he needs some money, but we only been talking three months. Does this make sense? You see what I mean? You go through it and you can never let Frustration speak for you. You can never let desperation speak for you. You got to understand that Now, let me do this last scroll Uh, man, there's a lot of message in here. There while we be having people delete the message I told them take take them a little break Let me go up here to the top real quick and then I'm finna get on up out of here Okay, I'm at the top Okay, I think I Got majority All right. I got 20 battery left. I'm about to get on going Now I'ma tell y'all, you know really think with your heart. Don't don't make this Don't make this rocket science.  It's common sense, but I just may go a little in depth on it But it's really, you know the answer in your heart. You got all the answers in your heart. I may confirm or deny but Really ask yourself and always ask yourself does this make sense And then the other thing what you got to realize is you oh lord Oh boy, that boy hands. See I'm pushing on my screen scrolling on the phone who And it's sitting on the stand. So I pushed it. It went to fall, but I just You know like Bruce Lee how they catch that fly with the uh chalk sticks. I still got it And I didn't really realize I got it like that, but I So I was able to catch it, but y'all you call me black bless you Man Whatever hands still up to date. I'll be trying to tell y'all that my hands up to date So come up and Jump froggy Let your boyfriend want to come up and jump froggy I'll be done calling with a two-piece snipe four-acre blank Uh, let me see now. All right. I think I if I miss your message, you know, y'all forgive me Y'all forgive me, but I really really appreciate y'all for the blessings you sent I try to go through here and catch them, but I just don't get to see them all on my end Like y'all get to see them So please forgive me And it's and it's only it have to be a certain dollar amount for them to put it at the top And leave it up there for a little bit So I'm looking now what I was saying fold for the devil try to blow my phone over Is you got to set your standards You got to set your standards and you have non-negotiables So understand what a non-negotiable is what that means is you're not negotiating with anybody about that You're not going back and forth. So I need a christian woman. That's a non-negotiable for me I don't want no woman who curse. That's a non-negotiable for me. I don't want a woman who get drunk Now understand it's a difference between getting drunk and drinking She might drink a you know, have a little wine have a little drink a little mojito or what have you but if she getting gone I didn't want that if she curse I didn't want that reason why because you got to raise kids and I don't want my son in kindergarten Custing out the teacher because he had mama curse all the time and I don't curse.  You want to eat? Poor okay. You want to eat mack donna? Okay. What's your spirit like though? I ain't worried about what you eat How much you work? I ain't worried about that. What's your spirit is like? Do you love the lord? Do you know the lord? I'm still looking through these questions. Now. Let me see victoria harris god bless you now talk to a guy for two weeks until he sent a D pic I stopped communication. He's still calling should I explain or block him? He already know what he did wrong He already know what he did wrong So y'all understanding you have your non negotiables now. I see a lot of women They may say to me right now how I'm explaining my non negotiables. They may say well, man I was looking for me a man who gonna be faithful and who gonna You know be honest with me, but I curse I smoke, you know, this what the woman's saying woman may say she cursed May say she spoke may say she get drunk on saturdays because she needed to relax for the weekend Guess what all of that right now?  Okay, you could serve what you want to serve you can serve what you want to serve now but I need somebody who we're gonna be able to share the same word with our with my children if you telling them children about Buddha And all of this and I'm trying to talk about Jesus Christ. We're not on the same page. So now my child confused And he know I have Buddha Christ. You see what I'm saying Buddha Chris because he confused. So that's why I say Now now y'all let me turn this here Chat off Let me turn this chat off for a little minute because y'all y'all because you can't listen and read at the same time The mind don't do that But let me help you understand this when you have these non negotiables. That's what you're going to attract That's what you're going to attract because what happens is Is when you set this so guess what I say, I don't want a woman that get drunk I don't want a woman that curse.   She's gonna end up hurting herself hurting somebody else Getting a dui. She's gonna be a bad example for my children If she cursing she's gonna have to pot him out. Then my children will have to pot him out You see what I'm saying? So I looked at the non negotiables Then I say I want somebody that want a family I want somebody that wants marriage if she don't believe in marriage. She ain't for me So you got to have your foundation set with your non negotiable So that way when you set that guess what you're going to attract that Because as you go out when you talk to somebody now, boom If i'm talking to a woman in our first conversation, she said the f word got to go Now if she noticed Or we talking the second time and she noticed I don't curse And yet she continued to curse and then she says, why don't you curse and I said, well, I just don't like using profanity You know, it just sounds unintelligent to me and then she continues to curse now I know that's not the one for me Asked him when I met my wife. She cursed.  I could have been wrong.  But guess what my son All his teammates curse. He's 13 years old.   So well manner Why because of they mama Because they mama clean. She does the right she raised them with respect because that's the type of woman that I knew I needed to choose because I know what I want to raise So that's what you got to think about when you have your non negotiables I wanted a woman that has ambition Now I sat my wife down. I sat my wife down. She works in our company She works in our companies and she earned six figures. She was going to be a doctor But she changed her mind once we started a family and she went a different direction Now she still earned what doctors earn But she could work from the comfort of our own home But I still wanted a woman who had ambition. See it's different than wanting a woman who have ambition and And being okay if she decides to sit down because she want to be a full-time mom Because you know she got ambition the fact that she was a biomedical science major And then she got a master's in medical sciences and she used to study for 16 hours in a day That let me know she had ambition Now she just was coming in there trying to look pretty and and she just was all dolled up and you know One trying to go to nobody's school one trying to work no job But she was studying 16 hours in a day and she was working a full-time job That let me know this woman full of ambition. So now that our companies could pay her six figures. I'm totally fine with that I'm totally fine with that and she might work five hours 10 hours a week. I'm totally fine with that because I know She didn't work. She didn't show it herself. She didn't let me know that she in it I wanted a woman also This is a part of your non negotiables who could see me for who I am And not just what I have So not looking and say oh, you don't have this kind of major. You don't have this kind of degree I can't deal with you But look at character look at character. Look at attitude Look at my energy. And so she was with me and and understand this we was in the project Not necessarily not the real real project, but we were living in basically the hood And I got robbed out there whole car got stole everything We didn't have no furniture. We didn't have no furniture in the living room We had a little tv that came from her dorm room and we had a bed So my woman was with me when I was on the ground When I had just my faith my ambition and my character my desire to want to be a better man So now that we're in a whole another place.  It's about her outlook on life I wanted to go and do stuff to make extra money And even now it's stuff I could do that could make extra money and my wife like no, don't do that It ain't that's not right. That ain't it ain't time for that. It ain't you don't need to do that So let me know she's not money focused She want to make sure her emotional and spiritual is right that the love is right So understand that and set your non-negotiables and and realize that you got to have things that you're unwilling to compromise And then when it comes to love relationships, you got to use common sense You just got to use common sense and ask yourself because you have a barometer with inside of you that you can say does this feel right? Does this feel right? Does this look right? And you know right from wrong But the problem is is you operating from insecurity and when you operate from insecurity It makes you do things that you wouldn't have otherwise done you operating from desperation you operating from dehydration See, you know went from thirsty to dehydrated And that's when you start to make decisions and you start to deal with people that you shouldn't be dealing with And that's what you got to reel yourself back in and say, okay What are my standards? What are my belief system? What's my foundation? And when you get that in order That's when you're going to track what's for you And understand this right here this last thing i'ma live leave with you Everybody out here looking for somebody that's ready made Don't nobody want Anybody don't nobody want to be with somebody That's ready made that got it all Together meaning that you just Trying to get put on You want to be able to deal with somebody? That's why I tell you know people single people Don't go buy a house if marriage is your goal Because now when you if you expecting to be married you expecting to meet your spouse within a year or two Now you got to be trying to sell your house or you don't know if this person coming to you for your house or for your love So what is you owning a house going to do for you? Instead keep renting and if you want to own a house buy you a rental property And have that but the person you meet don't even got to know that you got that rental property And you got that side income coming in so if marriage is your goal be intentional about your life But also know what you're looking for and when and when you look at what you're looking for You got to go down your list.  Who is this person? And and this is one thing that women never understand And and I get all kind of excuses anytime my brain is up When you met your wife You was 20 years old I'm 50 He need to be making 75,000 dollars a year listen You have to let a man's character be his currency And one woman she's still trying to say oh When I make this right here, he need to make this and I'm like listen This man could be a school teacher A school teacher not going to make 75,000 dollars a year He making 35,000 dollars a year 44 if he lucky And if he's somewhere in california, okay, he might touch 60 or 70 but the cost of living so how he's still tight But what is his character? What's his character? You know what I'm telling you What's his character? See when my wife told me she chose character because even though I was 20 she still could have said let me look at your major My major was criminal justice. So what I'm getting ready to do as a criminal justice major I'm getting ready to be a detention deputy which max out at 44,000 a year Well, I'm getting ready to be a police which is start out at 42,000 a year and max out at 60 or 65 So 60 65 thousand dollars Okay, you can live off of it if you put it together with somebody But you ain't gonna be all that comfortable.  So my wife could have looked at me and say He a criminal justice major and I'm a biomedical science major. She's a biomedical science major So she getting ready to go make 250k 400k depending on what she's doing. So she could have looked at me and said I ain't been talking about criminal justice major. What you gonna be a detention deputy?  Do you love the lord? Do you know where you're going? Do you have ambition? Can you treat me like a queen? How you talk to me how you spend time with me? So see you got to look at what really matters when you're looking for a man And I had to look at what really matters when I'm looking for a woman because I could have said Oh, well, she don't have the shape but that I want or she only got the the the height that I want she Only got 10% of battery left now. I'm getting ready to go now y'all. Let me go and bring this on home But this the number one thing that keep messing people up Is you looking for your preferences instead of for your standards? And you got all kind of excuses men can't find a wife because they want a woman that built like jaylo But what you don't realize is jaylo probably spend 10 to 20 thousand dollars a month On her maintenance literally Literally now I live in a normal city I don't live in a land or la I live in a normal city and it's women That my wife know that spend three thousand dollars a month to six thousand a month on maintenance You hit me. I'm talking about All the hill both top shots all up in here all around here all around here All kind of stuff going on all kind of stuff. You hear me? So men looking for a woman That built like jaylo guess what If the women that you in your dating pool had the money to do two three training sessions a day When they want to Then they body'll look like that If they had the money to get all them treatments all that cool sculpting All them both tops collagen They'll look like that But they ain't working on that budget. So they're not ugly. They just might be broke But does she have a heart for god? Does she know where she's going? Does she have ambition? See she's gonna get there. She's gonna get down And on the flip side women looking for a man that's financially stable That's a man that and and different a woman to say I want a man that's financially secure. So I say, okay Well, what does that mean? Is that 30,000? 30,000 I don't know if he could afford a hamburger with 30,000 more like I might be okay with 50, but I'll be honest with you 75 or 125,000 like what? You know the average income of a man is 45,000 all the year And so what a lot of women don't understand is that you are the catalyst Like when he meets you that's actually when his income go up When I met my wife, I'm making 20,000 dollars a year 20,000 dollars a year It went long into our marriage before I was making 20,000 dollars a month We was under the age of 30, but when I locked in with my queen, I had focus I had drive and we literally went from 20,000 a year to making 20,000 a month before I was even 30 You said I'm saying I can't tell you the number nine because you might throw up in your mouth You hear what I'm telling you what I'm telling you is that she saw Character she saw vision. She saw ambition and her main thing is is you gonna treat me right?  It's just a matter of time the check on the way to you The check on the way to you the blessings on the way to you you got the focus on the Intangibles and the things that really matter. Hey, I went way over. I went 30 minutes over the night So God bless y'all my phone about to die. I got to cut it off because if I don't cut it off for it die It won't upload and be archived so you can watch it later. Hey, God bless you. We'll talk soon


Welcome back everyone, it's theCUBE's coverage. We're here on location at AWS re-invent 2023. Here in Las Vegas, I'm John Furrier, your host with Dave Vellante. Dave, been a great 11 year run with AWS. This is our 11th season, 11th episode, 11th year event. And it's the biggest ever for theCUBE with more content pumping ever before. And we have a CUBE alumni, Doug Merritt, CUBE of AVIatrix. Great to see you, great to see you at the show. Well, thank you, great to be here. I cannot believe that you guys have been here really it's 12 years old, right? Amazing, 2013 was our first time, right? And we had a small setup kind of like this. It was like we're back to our roots, kind of like AWS, back to infrastructure. Yeah, my first was 2014 and just comparing, contrasting. Like that's probably 5,000 people. And I can't, there's 5,000 people in the hall. Right, you can't go anywhere, not have 5,000 people. Right, it was just one hall and then now it's just a crush of people. And it's like the old Comdex days, it's incredible. I told my friends, I feel like I'm going in and out of a Japanese subway car all day long. Not a word. Stress is high. Doug, it's great to have you on. And obviously for folks who don't know, but most know you were the CEO of Splunk, grew that company, took it public. And it's a data company by the way too, and all the right reasons. But we're on the Gen AI and you've seen, you've had a front row seat to that wave, okay? And you really made a ton of value creation out of that. Now we're in the mode now, we're with Gen AI. It's for everybody. And so we're at a whole nother level of innovation with the AI. Gen AI would serve the language models and foundation models, but the infrastructure underneath. And one interesting thing that came out of this trip was clearly that networking, what's going around the chips matters, what's around the software matters. So a whole nother level of needs, performance, energy, the constraints moving to power. You can put all the GBs you want on a rack, but if it's out of power. And so you got to kind of think differently around the system. For sure. This is the hot take here.  So going back to selfishly the opportunity with the Navy for Aviatrix, what people seem to have forgotten about the cloud is networking is not invisible. It doesn't just happen by magic. You still have to physically move bits around. And without a data center and a compute center and applications having effective, guaranteed, high visibility, resilient network connection, then that never matters. So at that whole point of AI is to be able to do those quick inferences and come back with intelligent answers. So I love being at the foundational layers of what ultimately is necessary to power AI. What I was really impressed with with Adam's keynote and throughout this entire show so far is both the refocusing on those core elements, they went back to their core chip story and which was brilliant. But they really tied everyday use cases and how to practically bring AI to life through Bedrock and SageMaker and their entire stack. But how's it going to affect HR? How's it going to affect marketing? How's it going to affect finance? It's, and when I get excited about AI, there's certainly a lot we can do with networking to make networking more intelligent, more dynamic, more in the moment and effective. But within Aviatrix, that literally the first thing I did my first week was bring in two folks that were really good with AIOps as a technology stack to live this message that Adam was preaching of. There's about 30, 40, 60, 80% improvement for every individual almost and every department if you can start to wrap your mind around how am I going to use genera of AI to do my legal job better, to do my BDR and SDR job better, to do my engineering job better. But there's progression and you got to help teach people.  But now exactly what you're saying, it's everybody. It's like when the PC hit, we all got affected. I mean, we're going to see productivity exceed that most likely. Yeah, the web, the app store, virtualization, these are key inflection points. And what's interesting about the genera and what you said is that there's no discrimination against the value proposition every vertical. And Adam led the FinTech healthcare life science automotive clearly areas that will come together. We were just talking on the queue earlier that the dot-com bubble, everything was like over hype and then pop, but all that stuff happened. They went over a period of time. Now, we've been thinking about for the past decade, self-driving cars, that's kind of happening, the smart home kind of happening. Telco Edge, which you brought in later in his talk, which gets to your point. These things are now coming together because the compute's there, the amount of compute to render an image these days with AI wasn't available five months ago. So just in the past five to eight months, images, computer vision, major computation value is now out there. For sure. And compute ultimately is going to be one of the big constraints, I believe. And so what you see Nvidia doing for sure. I mean, they are still in the spotlight, but there's a couple of interesting companies out there that I've run across that are trying to do, to radically improve the cost structure, the power consumption structure, and the processing power. A lot of the models are dependent on compute if you really, really want to do the recursion and the inference on a more affordable basis. So, okay. Like an off-the-shelf kind of compute. Much more of a classic CPU and FPGA model so that you can actually, so that the cost structure comes down. And as you were saying, John, power consumption and like, where are you going to locate the compute centers and the data centers? But it does feel like mid 90s, maybe 93, 95, 96 when the internet was beginning to take off. And it is, you know, everything gets over-hyped and I'm sure it's almost too much on JNAI right now. But the promise over the next decade is, I get goosebumps. Yeah, yeah. Back to your networking comment, I want to get your reaction to the Jensen on stage with Adam Sileski. It was a big moment where they had stage. The whole side comment about what the posture was. It wasn't a little awkward. Well, we can go there now, but I want to make a point on this networking piece because I think this is the leading indicator. Amazon was the first cloud provider to have the GH 200 grace hoppers to the cloud. But now they're going to bring in 32 grace hoppers and connect them with an MV link, a one terabyte per second, process working together hand in hand. This is essentially telegraphing. And when I met with Adam for the one-on-one for an hour on the 17th, we talked a lot about what's around the chips. He was already telegraphing. That's not just about the GPUs. So you got the connections. They're basically optimizing the GPUs to kind of work together to get more out of the big bang, more bang for the buck. But this is going to be everywhere. And networking is one of those connective tissue things that matter for latency and velocity of packets. Yeah. So if we just go back to practicality, so I'm really excited about what AWS is doing and others on bringing Generve AI to the masses. And now let's go to the average company, a multi-billion dollar company in the Midwest that's a manufacturer or something. And how do they take advantage of that? There's all the education on how do I use the tooling, but they're a landscape of what they're operating today on their IT stack for both internal efficiency and for customer connectivity and regulator connectivity has a lot of ways to go. Like that's where I, what I'm so excited about with Aviatrix is we're finally at the point where the average corporation realizes we have a very complex landscape. We've still got proprietary data centers. It's hard to move those mainframes to the cloud, hard to move those AS400s to the cloud. We've got a whole series of edge compute centers, Equinex, Megaport, you name your favorite vendor. We've got usually more than one cloud and how do we get a network mesh that is reliable, transparent, optimized so that I eventually can take advantage of all this great Generve AI that I'm gonna manufacture so I can do better drug discovery or more efficient manufacturing or serve my customers better. And that just goes back to that foundational layer of you cannot connect all those pieces together and provide that seamless experience for your customers and your employees than you can realize the promise of all this investment that Adam and Jensen and everybody else are making. I go back to what you were saying about networking's not invisible. And it kind of felt, I mean it's trite to talk about the pendulum swinging but the pendulum is swinging back and the cloud is expanding. Networking was kind of invisible when it was in the cloud. I think about Infiniband, right? It was invisible inside of an exadata. And see it. And now as the pendulum swings back to the edge and the hybrid world, it's becoming more obvious and it becomes exposed to more and more people. And it's a key component of getting the value to your point out of those investments. It has $250,000 GPU investments that weigh 70 pounds. And part of the problem that CIOs and CISOs and the head of networking have realized is you lose some visibility and you lose some control with networking when you go to the cloud. The benefit is, hey, there's a bunch that the cloud is doing but there's still, if you want an optimal experience and you really want to get the speed and the flexibility that everyone's trying to drive by going to the cloud, there is augmentation necessary around those awesome networking services that AWS and other clouds have. And so what the Aviatrix is able to do is insert, take advantage of the networking services that the clouds are providing but then add a whole new set of dimensionality on the visibility, on traffic optimization, on cost reduction, on efficiency and operational consistency making it easier for a non-networking guru to actually operate these very complex environments and meet their customers goals. We sort of stopped talking about digital transformation. I mean, people still do talk about it but that was all the rage when Gen AI hit. But we're actually seeing it come into focus now because you've got all this public cloud infrastructure out there that's just, it's there to be utilized and you can build software on top of it. You can digitize your business and you've got to connect it. That's- Absolutely. I mean, the digital transformation that was so fascinating is the first wave, a lot like the waves for Amazon was lift and shift, get stuff in the cloud to understand it and then begin to modernize those apps and then from that learn what you can build from scratch. I think we had the same thing with digital transformation was what we'd add to a Splunk. Take a monolithic on-prem vertical scale out app and get it to the cloud and then modernize it so that it actually is serverless and goes horizontal. The next wave of that is now, how do you build something brand new? And what I'm seeing with digital transformation in our own AI app stack is that you, what Salesforce is great at is getting you to a transaction. I had a new opportunity. I closed an order. All the interesting stuff is what happened before the transaction and then what happens after the transaction and what Gen AI can help with with a host of other tools is provide that literally minute by minute context of what happened with your BDR teams, your SDR teams, your ISR teams, your SCs, your account managers, your CSMs around that account pre anything happening in post so you can be a much more effective of learning organization. Each one of those functions gets better but that's true digital transformation. Now you've got a record of what's happening in a film of what's happening every minute of every day instead of just snapshots every four weeks of something that committed to relational database. It's always on. I mean, this is the concept in real time.  It's not hardware. It is. It is. They're just managed by them. And it's got services. It's a motherboard, okay. The data engineering conversation has come up a lot over the past year and the past six months and the past two months in particular at supercomputing and here, the data tsunami that's required to support AI is going to be massive. Now you have a developer tsunami happening where there's going to be a feeding frenzy on this foundation layer. Everyone's going to start playing around with it. So okay, now the data models have to be flipped upside down and reset. So you've got this platform engineering, data engineering, engineering particularly because it's got to be engineered going on. That means the infrastructure's up for grabs. It's not giving more boxes in the old days. Hey, I got developers, I need five more boxes to stack them on the rack. This is the computer there, check. But the data engineering becomes the focus. If you don't have the right data strategy, you're screwed. What's your reaction to that? Because that's going to affect the architecture of how networking works, how data pipelines work. How do you see that and how do you play into that? I think there's going to be a ton of iteration and playing with the data. What we've seen over the past, well, 40 years, but certainly past seven, is we've gone from a handful of data structure types, relational database, object database, index, if you go to the Splunk arena, to if you, last time I checked DB engines, I counted 29 different database categories. And each category would have five, 10, 15 people on it, and including an open source. So vector DBs, graph DBs, time series. And you need those because when you are in a cloud world and you've got billions potentially of users, you can't have a general purpose data store. I've gotten so many debates through the years with CIOs if I want one, it's like, but why do you want one? Like what are you trying to get done? So that we've got the reality of data being fragmented across these different data stores for very good reasons. Now how do you work across those different data stores to actually bring additional value with GNAI? And I think that will create new layers of a fraction and new data. The semantic layers need it. Make it coherent and yeah, indeed, that's it. But it always happens recursively and iteratively, right? We don't know today, I don't know today. Others much smarter than me probably do. Exactly what data is going to be important and where do you get it and how do you store it to get optimal usage for the unseen use cases that are coming with the GNAI wave. But I'm confident there'll be a bunch of new companies. A builder who has the problem will solve it and that's going to be a lightning strike. We just had the VCs from Adrona and said, it's going to take a Travis to Mrs. Cab in Paris to start Uber. I mean, this is the momentum we're starting to see. How is Hadoop born? It was born because there's no massive data storage structures within Google and Yahoo and to actually take advantage of that data and I think we'll see a lot of that. And the modern data pipeline is a better Hadoop and so there's something coming that is going to blow away what we see today. It has to. It has to, right? The volumes are, again, if we're going with that movie moment by moment that we haven't even begun to see. I was talking about X-Bite and Zetabyte scale at Splunk. Yeah, that may happen. I thought it was going to happen 20 years down the road. That might happen in the next few years. Doug, great to have you on. Give us the update on Aviatris. What's going on there? Put a plug in for the camera. We got a couple minutes left. Sure. What are you working on? So I was on, I think, even before my first day but maybe even before my first day. In the studio. Yeah, in July and this summer. What I've seen in the past four months is I thought coming in from the outside that we were in the right place at the right time. So much of business success is luck and timing.  If you're too far behind you lose out. And what I've seen and to end this week has really confirmed it is we have got incredible product market fit. What we can do feature and function wise no one else in the industry can do right now. And I think the market finally is, I've had probably 14 one-on-ones with customers now. And the story on everyone it's crazy that we're almost a script on what does their landscape look like? What are the problems for them to actually get value out of their journey to the cloud and how networking plays into that problem set. So my takeaway is we just have to figure out a way to get the name out with Aviatrix what we do and allow the market to come to us the way that I think it's, Steve and others saw it early to get us to this point. And the core problem you're going to solve for them is what? So the core problem is we're giving them a high simplicity visibility and resiliency on their networking. Cause again, cloud is a very different beast on networking than non-cloud. We're giving them a security woven into the network. I think the entire security landscape is changing at the networking level because you can't separate those two anymore. It's part of how networks operate. And we're giving them a true hybrid mesh. We're really bringing edge, all the different iterations of where compute and data might sit. We're making that a natural part of what happens within the cloud. So your Equinex pops, your last generation data centers feel and operate like they're part of AWS, like they're part of Azure, like they're part of GCP, OCI, Alibaba, the different clouds that we play in. So simplicity, security, and then integration and seamlessness across your complexity. So location agnostic. Yeah, location agnostic. Got it, okay. Doug, thanks for coming on theCUBE. Really appreciate it. Great seeing you and glad you can join our special SuperCloud 5 special edition battle for AI supremacy running out of Palo Alto. This is our on location conference. We'll see you at six. Yeah, I'm ready to be at six. We'll start going to Roman Newell, like the Super Bowl. It's like. It always enjoys seeing you guys and be on a show. Thank you. Well, we appreciate you. Okay, theCUBE, be right back with more coverage from Location. Back to Palo Alto Studio.