You are listening to the depression to expression podcast and I'd like to sincerely thank you for taking the time to listen seriously You know it takes a lot to actually take the time and Prioritize and put an effort to bettering ourselves because our lives are so busy They are maybe you're listening to this on the way to work Or you're listening to this while doing something else because there doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get Everything we want done Hands up if you feel that way to hands up if you feel that way except if you're driving watch out be careful But seriously, so I'd like to thank you and I hope this this podcast is useful to you in these Discussions this dialogue and discourse we have is useful because the topics are just gonna keep getting better and better now Meditation I have my friend Kayla Cousin on here. She's a meditation master And she goes to companies around Toronto and now across Canada because she's moving back to Regina But but she's a meditation master and when we think of meditation everyone we think okay You got to find the highest mountain. You got to get an orange robe and you got to say oh That's not how it works. Sometimes the last thing I want to do is sit down and meditate after I've been sitting for a while So we're gonna talk about all types of different meditations in this podcast Kayla's actually going to do a guided meditation for us and Of course, we're gonna have some laughs and tell some jokes and and meanwhile Kayla's going to share her experience with bipolar disorder, but we have fun with these things I don't want these podcasts to bring you down life is full of tragedy my friend And it is the hardest thing and it's beyond comprehension how difficult it's been for many of us and continues to be But I hope this podcast is a guiding light and share some new perspectives and new Techniques to add to your mental health toolbox. That's what this is all about. All right now I know it's hard for us to find time to meditate But that's why I think this podcast will be useful to you this episode because there are really easy ways to do Things that don't take a lot of time now the one thing I mentioned here in this episode is Okay, let me let me break this down for you. Let me I got the mic here Kayla's not here just yet So let me let me just share a few things with you. All right So I've been making YouTube videos for about seven years now, right 20 million people have watched my videos That's pretty cool for a guy that talks about depression anxiety and doesn't do makeup tutorials and gaming videos Pretty good, right because that's what a lot of YouTube is today not bad So obviously there's a thirst for this kind of thing So over these past seven years I've received thousands and thousands and thousands of emails from people and I have a pretty good data set on Certain themes that come up all the time This is what I share with parents during parent groups. I did a parent group talk on social media Internet safety and mental health last night. It was fantastic And these kids are emailing me instead of talking to their parents about their mental health situation That's a whole other podcast and topic, but why are people? Finding it's so difficult to find time to better their own mental health Because that's the excuse I hear a lot that's a big theme in a lot of email Scott. I'm a working professional Scott I'm a parent Scott. I'm a student. I don't have time and I'd just like to call BS on that With all due sympathy and respect There's always time my friends if you don't have five minutes to sit down or five minutes to do our walking meditation Five minutes to sit and notice what's happening around you We better check ourselves and reprioritize what we value and pay attention to in our lives. I Know it hurts doesn't it don't mean to come down on you But this is what's at stake here. What are you prioritizing in your life? That's taking over your own well-being is that that you don't have time because whenever someone says to me Scott I'm just so busy. Sorry. I didn't respond to your text. I've just been swamped. I've been so busy Really in 2020 with the technology we have you couldn't find 15 seconds to send a text. I don't believe it I'm sorry. Don't believe it. Come on. It's not about not having the time. It's not prioritizing effectively That's what it's all about and we're gonna talk about that in this podcast But we all have five minutes. We can all make five minutes. We can all find five minutes to do this I don't want to hear excuses anymore. I don't Seven years of excuses. I've been hearing this stuff over and over.    Try Meditation I've been meditating since 2008 and I'm still not great There is still practice to be done Start with 15 seconds start with 20 seconds then next month move to 30 seconds. We can all do it I have faith in all of you and I love you all tremendously, but come on. I'm not feeling the busy excuse anymore. It's over It's over. Let's move on. You owe yourself more than that. Give yourself more credit. Come on now Now either you're mad By hearing this or you're smiling or maybe you've come to the realization Scott's right I can make the time I will better myself and I'm gonna try this meditation thing no matter what That's right. You will my friend because you are an awesome human being and human beings hate change But we adapt and we can do this together. So who's with me and Silence in the crowd You got this now. We're I'm gonna introduce Kayla here We're gonna have an awesome conversation and again my sincere Thanks for you taking the time to learn a little bit about meditation and my friend Kayla Now if you're new to the podcast welcome if you're not new welcome back But there's some funky links in the description if you want to go to my website Depression to expression comm and see what I do for corporations and schools was speaking about mental health. That would be awesome You know yesterday was a big day. I did three schools and And I went to a company downtown and there's a beautiful boardroom setting and everyone was so involved and eager to learn about this whole Mental health thing so let's demystify it together if you're interested in bringing me to your your company your school Let me know. I'm just an email and a click away Technology is pretty cool, right? All right. I'm done ranting. I'm done chatting. Here's my friend Kayla Talk to you all soon in three two One Kayla welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me for those listening She is actually here in my studio aka 400 square foot condo, but you comfy. Yes We have a con condo. We have a coffee where we're sitting with our pillows behind us excellent posture You have even though the couch kind of makes your body sink a little bit. It's still good I can tell you're a meditation teacher and coach Legs are cross. Okay. So listen, why don't you let the audience know a Little bit about yourself. Let's start with you actually wanting to move back to Edmonton You've been in Toronto for six years. Let's talk about the importance of family and everyone listening We're going to talk about meditation as well. Let's get to know Kayla a little bit though Okay, so I'm actually moving to Regina, which is where my family is So similar so similar still in the prayers you were close But yeah, I've been living in Toronto now for six years and at the end of the month I'm moving back to Regina all my friends are there all my family's there That's where I grew up until I went away for school. So It's really bittersweet like as much as I felt the homesick for home Now I'm gonna move home. It's like now I'm gonna have a different type of homesick for here missing, you know, my friends, right? You've made so many connections in Toronto, but obviously you'll still keep in touch and everything But it doesn't feel like there's more of a gain than a loss though moving back home Like there's definitely a a pull factor More than a push factor to get out of Toronto or the things you don't like about Toronto being here There's got to be something about Toronto you don't like Yeah, it's just so different when you're talking I was nodding and I realized people can't see me nodding. Um, yeah, I know you're right The family part was a really big part You know Just spending time away was seem to be getting harder and harder even though like going away for school I think the difference was there was a deadline. So it's like you go for school You know, you're going for two years then once you graduate and you get into your real life It's like you're in charge of that now, which gets Scary and so I do think it's the right decision. It's still a very difficult decision But like you said, we're still only a few provinces away and like I'll be here for work and business and weddings And everything right it is it's interesting how Responsibilities a scary thing Terrifying I know right like what do you think being a kid was so fun? It's because you want a sandwich You just have to ask for a sandwich if I want a sandwich today either I gotta make it myself or ask someone to make it for me and pay them gosh Life's hard when you get older totally like I Would like to know your experience with this to like how do you you know you're around our age? How do you decide where to live? That's such a good question We were talking about this before we turned on the mics. It's like people you see these Facebook ads and I don't know if since you're a quote-unquote entrepreneur I don't like that word. Do you like do you introduce yourself as an entrepreneur? Never, okay good But I'm sure you see ads where people are like, hey, I'm at the beach I'm an entrepreneur. I make 60k a day and you know, do you want this financial freedom? We'll click the link below and you see all this like oh, I can work remotely It's so great having your own business and then I'm like, yeah, you could live somewhere else But as you've been in Toronto too and being away from family I think the novelty would wear off for me It's like during Christmas during holidays during weekends And you just want to be able to have that freedom to see your mom and dad brothers sisters And I think it would wear off. I always think it's not where you live It's who you who you're with, right? And have you found that like being away from home? It's it's more important to be with the people that you want to be with rather than being in a in a nice New city. Yeah, absolutely. I see those ads all the time And it's like be a digital nomad like run your business for anywhere and I agree like sometimes I see it and they're like On a beach in Thailand and you're like that would be awesome like especially in the dead of winter here, but It's still very isolating especially when you're a company of One when you're first starting out. You're still by yourself. You might be on a beach in Thailand But you're still by yourself. Yeah, and so yeah I think it is there's something to be said for sure for me in terms of like Actually just going to my parents house for supper on like a Sunday night where it's like I skype them every week But it's not the same and it is like a bit of a I was talking to someone about this the other day It's a bit of a novelty anytime I go home like it's like Christmas or it's some sort of holiday. So it's like It's not normal like it's not the feeling I think I'll feel once I can just go to my parents place like And so I think seeking kind of that You know just more of a normal Relationship that's not so long-distance. Yes, my family and friends. Yeah, you shouldn't have to feel like a guest Totally when you're kind of going there for Christmas or holidays, right? It should be like the pop-in kind of mentality for family Let's talk about Well, quote-unquote entrepreneurship So you started peak wellness as a meditation teacher coach But you first before that you were trying to stand up comedy Scared this is gonna come up Let's talk. Okay. It's true. So I was doing it basically just as a hobby so I'm not sure how far back you want me to start but Just going through a diagnosis with my own mental illness as off work for about a year and in that time I watched so much comedy like all the time Like I think there's something very like therapeutic about it and even when I couldn't make myself laugh at all It was still like something there's something about comedy at least for me And so then when I did get back to work full-time, I Took a class at second city that was called like creative writing like sketch writing like kind of like Saturday night live and I was objectively bad at it Like every person in the class and the teacher was like, um, this is maybe like not your strength Did meet someone in that class who had done this stand-up comedy class. She highly recommended it. I tried it out I absolutely loved it. It's a really good outlet. I think and Another thing that I think is a benefit of comedy, especially if you're someone who's in your head a lot is Your if you're trying to think of jokes I think you see the world in like a very funny and like positive way so even when bad things happen to you you can like kind of like turn it into something that's funny or It gives you this weird perspective and I think I really really benefited from that, especially when I was just getting back to work I'm super rusty. I haven't done it in a while, but I try to be funny in some of my workshops I have like a 50-50 hit rate Sometimes it goes really well and other times I just pretend it wasn't a joke and I just keep going Oh, that's so good There are ways to get around that with a tough audience, but as so you go into businesses And and do like meditation workshops and courses and lunch and learns and all types of things Which is so crucial for business and at home and at school like the mindfulness movement Being present everyone wants it a lot of people don't want to put the put the work and time into it but when you're If you're trying to put in a sense of humor into your workshops are people expecting You to come in and be very Zen and very calm Is that the is that the type of persona that you display when you go into these to do these workshops? I Think some people might expect that I think there's such a wide range that people don't even know what to expect And probably their closest comparison is any other like corporate wellness training they've had even if that was like Safety in the workplace or if it was something closer aligned like Nutrition or emotional intelligence like there's tons and tons of workshops So I think people expect it to be like that on average. We do try and keep it like lighter and More engaging we have a lot of conversations and stuff just to It's a serious topic, especially when you delve into mental health So to keep it more I think approachable and lightweight. That's kind of a strategy that we try and use But yeah, it's hard to say I think people come into it with really different Expectations all the time like it's just it's a practice that has so many different variations that I think people are always kind of They're doing their best guess as to what it is But it they don't have much of a framework, especially if they've never meditated before How long have you been practicing meditation for so that's something I usually say when I open the workshops too because Or any keynote like I know there's people in the room that are skeptical Maybe they didn't even want to come to this session. And so when I open I do say this is something that I only started practicing mindfulness after I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and that was a supplementary treatment and even then that was recommended to me by like five Professionals before I started like really was like, okay, I'll give this a shot So I was as much of a skeptic as I think some people in the audience might be But to answer your question that would have been yeah, right when I was coming through a diagnosis Which was about six years ago now. No kidding. Okay, so that's a that's a good amount of time So what have you noticed? Dealing with bipolar disorder and and recovering from this mental these mental health issues How has meditation played a role in that recovery? Yeah, so the hardest part for me with bipolar disorder was Getting out of the depression. So that was kind of what I experienced second. So the mania was its own little beast, but I Started meditation when I was kind of in the depression phase I know this is something you've talked about a lot as well. And I think Maybe you can relate to when you're in that place. You are so willing to try Anything you so desperately just want to be out of that state that even if something, you know It seems a little woo to you or whatever.  It's called NBCT mindfulness-based cognitive therapy. So Probably your audience is familiar with CBT as well cognitive behavioral therapy so this is that idea with an element of mindfulness and what I would say is That practice helped me to learn how to manage my moods and maybe to Not feel like I was at like the mercy of my mental illness or what happened to me and added a little bit of a buffer So I felt like I had more control Probably if there's one thing I could say that was yeah easier Made things easier early on was just a very short small practice that would help me to Feel like I was back in control of the situation when things were really starting to kind of spiral Managing emotions like when you were in a depressed state, all you wanted to do is is obviously get out of that Meditation wasn't necessarily a tool to get you out Wasn't it more of a tool at least in my experience more of a tool to almost go deeper into it? Yeah, that's an interesting distinction. I think you're right. You are looking for Maybe it's even better to say for myself. I was looking for control I felt like I was like at the mercy of this mental illness and especially in kind of like the trenches of depression when you just feel like you're not in control anymore as much as you want to feel you can kind of Always think like you can act the way that you want to feel. I know that's often like a Technique that's taught to people and maybe Mindfulness helped me do that. It helped me get control back. I think that's probably a good way to put it I love that. I love that. What are some of the things as as you teach meditation and even in your own experience? What are some of the roadblocks you find people people talking about when trying meditation or why why they don't continue the practice? What are some roadblocks? Yeah, that's a great question. I know it's such a good question Great interviewer Yeah, this is really really something that we focus on a lot when we go into organizations, but I think this applies to any individual Especially as we're kind of learning more and more about mindfulness and meditation now I think a good analogy is kind of the idea of exercise So as this research is coming out, you know, everybody knows that you should exercise That's pretty we pretty much all agree on that But there's tons of different exercise you can do you can do your like 10-minute thing in the morning Or you can be a marathon runner or you could go to the gym six days a week So I think what happens with meditation is There is a type of meditation for everyone. I truly believe that if something doesn't work for you There's another methodology you can try or even just different Structures you can put in place to help you But I think what people run into a lot is they think there's only like one way to do it So it's as if somebody told you, you know, you should be exercising and the only The only reference point you have for that is like doing a full marathon and you're like, I can't do that That's not for me And I think what that looks like in meditation is people say oh you should definitely start meditating But people think they have to meditate for 40 minutes a day and they're like I don't I don't have the time I can't sit still for that long Those are big barriers and so I think the roadblock is a lot of Misconceptions about mindfulness and so what we always always say is to start Small so we start when we go into an organization We just ask that they try for five minutes a day for the next five days and just kind of notice and see if they have any changes Because if we do a meditation at the office It's almost like if you did a spin class like one time like you're gonna feel benefits immediately There's things that are going to we know that it affects some biomarkers of stress immediately But you're not going to have any Habit-built or any long-term practice just from doing that. So That's why we kind of say start small I think people feel like another roadblock is they need to have this big elaborate practice And because it seems like something they need to devote so much time to they just don't start Which is where we usually say like a short practice today is better than a long practice. You never get to So those are the biggest things I think people not having Feeling like they don't have enough time and then one other thing I would add is people Sometimes I think people feel like they want to figure out what the best type of meditation is before they start so People maybe personalities like I can relate to this and maybe you can as well when you're looking to kind of Optimize your time and so you're like, okay, if I only have five or ten minutes a day I have to do the best type of meditation like the best version But that's kind of an unending pursuit if you're gonna try and figure out what the best one is So that's why we usually just say just try something try it for a couple days If that style doesn't work for you try something else But again, just get started just get started start small Like have you ever met people who can't even find the five minutes? I've even had why don't you just take ten seconds? Just to look around notice your body notice your breathing just like what is your what are your fingers feel like on the keyboard? What is your ear feel like when you when you put the phone to it? Just like these very basic things that we don't notice through our day to day That could is that somewhere you start to something like super super basic a hundred percent. So yeah, we talked about that People will say they don't have five minutes and I totally Understands people especially if they're working come on you can be honest on this podcast No, if someone says they don't have five minutes. They don't have a life. Come on. Let's be honest. I disagree. Oh, let's fight Yeah, sorry what I think they what I think they mean when they say that not literally I don't have five minutes Yeah, I haven't prioritized. I don't have five minutes to put towards this, right? So, you know, you're spending a long day at work. You have kids you get out of the shower You don't have a moment to yourself, which is then we do kind of peel it back to something more simple which is and in the kind of area of You know Psychology and setting habits we consider something like habits stacking I don't know if you've like heard of this before but basically just adding your mindfulness onto something you already do today Regardless, right brushing your teeth and showering are like our classic go-tos because they are very like Sensation-based, but usually we're not even in the same room when we're doing that Sometimes we'll say like who are you in the shower with like even though you're showering alone Are you already thinking of your boss and the meeting you have and you're you know You're not even in the same place. And so that's where if people say they can't five and five minutes We suggest habit stacking so trying to be mindful while you're brushing your teeth or showering or the other thing a lot of people Benefits a lot of people they don't think many people know about is there's lots of meditations You can do with your eyes open walking around so walking meditations even commuting meditations Like you're on the subway There's just so much out there But I think yeah the idea that you need to sit down for 20 minutes every day is a big barrier for people Right, and I think that's one thing. That's that's maybe advertised a lot is that kind of meditation Where's the one you know habit stacking? Yes being in the shower being mindful of Sensation, what are you seeing? What are you hearing?  You're like, did I shampoo? Right, so that is a perfect example of you like just being outside of your body and the moment completely And I could definitely empathize with people because there's so much to do during the day There's there's so many things that you need to plan for throughout the day before you even get to work If we calculate what a work day is there's no way it's eight hours based on cognitive function And we're thinking about work how often we're thinking about it. It's like from the moment we wake up to the moment We go to bed It's taxing for for mental health So I think meditation is a huge tool for people to almost as not escape the thoughts But again come to notice your environment a little bit more What are some some practices that you do to people for people to kind of get into the moment While you're teaching do you focus on the breath do you focus on the body? What are some things you do? So if it's our first session with an organization, we do start super basic So we'll usually open with a breathing or like tension holding exercise for I'm talking like two or three minutes like super super short and what is tension holding for listeners. Yeah, so that would just be like We carry a lot of tension in our bodies Without realizing it so a tension holding exercise helps you to it's almost like creating artificial tension So you can release the actual tension So it would be something just like Scrunching up your toes inside your shoes and like holding that as tight as you can for three breaths So we'll do that.  That's a little longer, maybe Five seven breaths and then we just let people let it go and that time when they exhale we encourage them to just be like and just like let it go and so I Think people realize or they don't realize how much tension They're just naturally holding especially at work and especially like in your shoulders and neck So that just helps people like Arrive in the room and just let a little bit of that like physical tension go right and for those listening right now Why don't you all notice your shoulders right now and see if you can drop them a bit because at times Especially on a computer on a keyboard Oh, yeah, you can spend the whole day with your with your shoulders to your ears until you notice it and you're like Oh like I've been you know scrunched up so high for hours Until you notice the body. So that's a great intro As far as Again, your own personal meditation and rituals and habits. Do you meditate every day? Do you have a rigorous a rigorous morning routine or do you meditate in the evening? What's what's your what's your daily routine like in that sense? Yeah, so I get asked this a lot and I think I get asked this also from people who Even if they're in the audience at a talk often those people meditate more than I do so that is something too that We usually say is I clock I would say 20 minutes of meditation a day on average But there's days that it's way less. So I'll wake up in the morning That's an easy time for me personally to do kind of let's say five to seven minutes I also like guided meditations. I think a lot of people in this space You know, they're not they don't want to do guided meditations themselves Like perhaps I just want to do their own breathing practice or their own guided But I definitely benefit from guided personally and then before bed I'll always usually try and do a body scan which can kind of be you know Whatever I feel like I need like sometimes it's three minutes I know I'm gonna fall asleep anyways and then sometimes if I'm Wide awake or kind of riled up before bed. That's more like 15 minutes But another thing too, I think you'd alluded to it is just Trying to be mindful during the day and just what that actually looks like And so I think people can really find a lot of benefit from that even if they don't clock any formal guided meditation Minutes a day, right? And you know something I've noticed we are talking before about getting older like Everyone kale is like I don't want to say I'm getting older, but I'm getting older And it's like wait, I'm 30. How old are you 28? Oh What oh, okay, so yeah, I am oh my god times that tickin But literally I think about this I thought about this at work when I was working at advertising I just felt like time is slipping through my fingers. You know our parents are I was like well You when you get older time goes by faster. I'm like mom. Whatever. Let me eat my Dunkaroos and just go to school We could not we'd never got Dunkaroos, but but now as I'm getting older. I'm like mom was right Time goes by so quickly day after day. I'm like the week's gone. It's already almost the end of January Like where is time going and I think with mindful practices It's for me personally it just helps the feeling that You're soaking in the moment and your time during the day even if you have the same routine every day To notice something else you can you can have the same commute for 50 years And you can notice something different every single day on your commute It doesn't matter if it's an unwashed window on a building a different kind of car Like new roads new trees that you haven't noticed new colors But for me personally the the antidote for time slipping through my fingers if anyone can resonate with that Let us know but the antidote to that was like having these mindful moments during the day And not just get through work to get through work, but to actually appreciate the time And to literally sit Notice what i'm doing Know the time Not just thinking of what I have to do to do tomorrow, but to actually focus on the task at hand I think it's better for for building memories at least to look back on right? Absolutely. I actually saw one of our facilitators Posted something on instagram the other day and it was like Something along the lines of you know, we spend so much time Working towards extending our lives So, you know as long as you eat this diet you can live two years longer or five years longer, but the Easiest way to dramatically expand our lifetime is to be in it while we're going through it So okay, you can add on like two five seven years of your life by doing all these things, but if you're never living in the moment Doesn't matter right. Yeah, it's a constant joy kind of like moment by moment That's actually the easiest way to expand your lifestyle your life your Enjoyment of life. I think you're absolutely right. No, that's great. Do you think people are because it's constantly Okay, I'm going to meditate for the benefits. I'm going to meditate because I heard it reduces stress And I'll be more focused in this and this I think we're in in such a culture where you're constantly looking for a positive exchange for new activities Rather than just Experiencing the activity with no expectation. Does that make sense? Yeah, so like I'll admit it the reason I started meditation in 2008 was for depression and anxiety But and I was so focused on the benefits of what it was giving me but years later I started to focus on what it was giving me like in the moment to take the time rather than the result Of how I'm going to feel through the day. Is that something that you you kind of Believe in a different kind of educational piece Yeah, for sure. I think we have a tendency and I see it in myself too You know you put your head down and you're working so that you can get the results Like I'm going to do a so that I can get b I think a good analogy as well is like going to the gym. So if when you go to the gym, you just You know run as hard as you can for 20 minutes and get out of there and your goal is just for Weight loss like four months from now. It's like when you're at the gym, it's you're not actually really experiencing it You're just doing it so that you can get somewhere. Hopefully later on Where I've actually people have told me that the gym is like an extremely mindful time for them That's actually a way that they meditate If they're lifting weights or if they get into some sort of like kind of flow state and so I think if your your goal is You know, I need to do this so that I can Lose weight or I can be able to run this marathon You might be missing some of the point and also the benefits of when you're actually working out So I think that's a Totally we're so goal oriented that maybe we're missing the experience of Prepping and the pursuit of that goal Right just to do it for the sake of doing it and being there. I've heard that a lot That's that's kind of my gym routine. Are you a person that goes to the gym and socializes? Or do you kind of get get the work done and kind of that's your moment to be with yourself? Yeah, I would say I'm more in my head than socializing. Um, I don't socialize that much sometimes they'll be asking people like At the end of the class, um They'll be like, you know, do you guys have plans this weekend? I was saying to my friend the other day like I I could be getting married the next day and if they asked that I'd be like, no, nothing Nothing big like I don't I don't socialize in those situations Really? Are you one to volunteer information or does someone have to ask you a question in order to get something from you? At the gym, you would have to ask me a question like over and over 10 times I think yeah, that's just not a it's a place for me that I do really get in my head and I personally feel a lot of benefits, especially, um Running or do any work with weights?  That's why sports are so popular And for people that even watch them too where there's kind of that that escape Is there some guilty pleasure that you have for escaping? The tedium of day to day life? Um, I get I find online shopping Bizarrely comforting to me like even when I'm not buying things. No way. Oh, yeah Just to add to cart and just let it sit there. Yeah, like I don't know what it is about I'm sure you would know more about this like technology addiction Whatever's going the serotonin in my brain that it like kicks off, but I do find that Oddly comforting. I've heard people say similar things. Um Someone in a workshop said, you know, shopping is really mindful for them and I was like, I can't Tell you you're wrong. Like if that works for you that gets you out of autopilot That's something that, you know, helps you calm your mind and your thoughts Uh, gaming I've heard a lot is like very comforting for people or Yeah, maybe helps them get out of their head The exercise is super interesting another one that people, um, this is kind of for someone who doesn't have Five minutes. I guess it's more for people another thing people say is they literally cannot calm their mind So they think they're failing. So when I meditate, I cannot calm my mind. So there's just I can't do it Those are the people where they benefit a lot from something like swimming Something where you can't think about anything else except Not drowning. Yes, right, right. Yeah, give them no choice. You can't worry while you're swimming You can't like think about an upcoming presentation or what your boss said like that is something I think where In line with kind of the flow state that is a way to calm that Crazy spinning monkey mind for people who feel like they can't do it any other way That's great. And I think that's so You know, we're at we're at our desks most of our jobs Let's look at the window and see all these buildings here and it Fascinates me when I walk downtown and you look up at At these buildings and you can see through and everyone's at the desk and they have their own cubicle and chairs what a What a new way to work Like this didn't exist years ago where everyone had their own screen and their own computer like technology has created Just these millions and millions of jobs. That's a whole other podcast But but I feel like if if people are looking to meditate sometimes the last thing I want to do is sit again I'm sitting all day. I don't want to sit again And and be mindful this time. So I think that that walking meditation mindful walking mindful moving Um, as you said like playing video games is huge for people shopping Gosh, that would not work for me. No way in them all i'm just like scrolling like on your phone No, absolutely not. It depends if it's like electronics or something like that But shopping like clothes shopping Right when I go into a mall. I'm just like, hey, what do I need to do to get out of here as fast as possible? What do I do? I need to have like a tantrum. Do I need to spill a drink? Like what do I need to do to leave as soon as possible? But but I think like um having that Kind of stimuli where you're more focused. So gaming just like colors and sounds and shopping I don't know you're paying attention to the fit and the color and how it looks and and the combinations I don't know what shopping works, but you know what? I mean getting your the combinations of things You know combination shopping You've never been combination shopping. Gosh, what a noob But I think it's important for people to realize like to access that maybe creative side too is very very helpful Um, can I tell you one more that I hear a lot? Yes. This is your podcast You're the guest like it's it makes sense to me Um, I would have never thought of it, but so many people say it is cleaning So I think it's like there's a dual benefit, you know, you can You're cleaning so you have something that's like kind of taking your mind away You're focused on doing a task and then you also benefit from you know a clean place or an organized place Which is maybe benefits your mental health, but the number of people who are like Vacuuming is so calming for me like making the lines and like it's almost like a hobby It comes up more than other hobbies. So I think there's like Kaylee you just vacuumed an hour ago. Yeah, but I need another mindful moment. I'm gonna do the lines horizontally this time You see people like it. It's yeah, and it makes sense to me No, I that's so I completely agree vacuuming awesome For me, it was like cutting grass. So you get those lines and I think what people are missing today at work Um, especially this is how I felt is you're not getting a beautiful reward of Accomplishing something that you can see tangibly anymore So even if you were to do like I would do like a presentation and I finished like a keynote It's on a screen. It doesn't feel good when it's complete You can't see the real difference from when you started to when you finished just because it's so digital but With cutting grass or vacuuming or cleaning you see, okay It was messy before there was sauce on the oven. There was salt over here spilt There was dirty dishes and now 20 minutes later of putting in physical effort Now I see a difference in my immediate environment I think that's a powerful reward Whereas it's such a um Like the digital experience of having this reward is just not it's such an imitation of that kind of reward in the physical quote-unquote world Which is why I understand yes the vacuuming the reward of jeez even working out You talk you hear people getting their pump on getting getting pumped Right and swole Okay, I before I worked out. This is how I looked and now after I biceps are a little bigger cool And I can see veins now, but seriously it's like something Existing in the physical world that wasn't there before or it looks different. That's huge I totally agree. I think we are really separated from that now in most Knowledge work or work that you're doing in an office. Like I remember talking to a friend about this It was probably on like how it's made or some sort of little Show this guy was talking about it takes him like six months to make a violin. So he Whatever all those steps are like finding the wood polishing it all the takes him like six months So let's say every year he's cranking out two of these super super high-end violins I just think there would be So much joy in like starting and creating that and the fact that you did that with your own hands Like there's something about that. I think You know using your hands like you said starting and finishing like you once you've completed is completed I think a lot of people don't get that in an office setting You know, you crank out one report, but like it's ongoing or you did a report or some reporting and you pass it on to someone else So the working with your hands isn't there working kind of in like a more outdoorsy Um setting isn't there and a lot of people which I think is a really really big issue in offices Is people don't see where their work goes or their effort goes it kind of just evaporates So, you know, you work so hard on this presentation and then you hand that presentation off to your manager And now you start something else and I think the separation between Uh what you've done and what you've worked on and that reward and you know starting and finishing something is really lacking In a lot of workplaces. That's such a good point The to-do list is a very addicting thing Because there is a dopamine hit when you cross that that off and you check it off cross it off and it's not there anymore It feels good to accomplish things But that's like such a short term goal every day that we have our to-do list of 10 things and you check it off It feels good But when you feel like that that time slipping through your fingers like there's no accomplishment and the the efforts Don't match the rewards. I think we need to look at more long-term goals that we're achieving along the way That we're getting closer to that we're chasing something the violin for example the person has Things to do on the violin every single day But the the outcome is the entire violin that will be in front of you at the end of the project You see you I've been to europe a bunch of times and you see like the churches and you go to the sistine chapel It's like what did the sistine how long did it take?  They say it took Michelangelo four years to paint the frescoed ceiling in the sistine chapel Four years working every single day on one thing On one thing we don't get that anymore because it's so easy to get things now Like we have computers in our pockets and all we had to do is go to the apple store and just swipe a cart Like it's so easy to obtain things now, but to make something from scratch as not This hideous as it kind of is I made that tv stand, but it felt really good It felt really good to make that for those picturing what it looks like listening It's not made with like just two by fours and nails. No, it's very nice Oh, thank you But it was stained and it was put together and those are actual like oak floorboards that I use and then you did the perimeter here and you're gonna have to post a picture But is there something that you do rather other than like vacuuming but some like Some goal that keeps you going a long-term goal or something that you're working towards in a bigger sense Yeah, I mean I feel like I do miss that just that something physical and something with my hands obviously This business is my Soul focus right now. So that is I guess like one project, but it's ongoing and it's so so Complex like it's not like building something and you had it now you finished it And so I'm not sure if you feel the same way with your business. It's your soul focus um But I I do think it's there's a value in having some sort of hobby or at least side project that you start and finish and When it's finished, it's finished. It's not just ongoing forever. Right, right What's the hardest part of that was her phone not mine everyone? No way was it?  Weren't you here late? You were here pretty late. I was here four minutes late. Really? You're here at 10 34 Really, how do we prove that though? Check your phone in the buzzer Shoot, that's a good point. Okay. She was here on time everyone. Don't don't hold me to that Don't hold me to that um as far as running peak wellness Okay Contacting working professionals Getting into businesses to do these awesome workshops that are so vital for the workplace at home at school What what is some challenges with with running a business for those of those of you who are I'm not gonna keep saying entrepreneurs, but business owners Let let them in a little bit. What's difficult about running your own running your own business Yeah, it's it's so so different than like My job Like when I had a office job, um, and I think we've talked about this before too, especially with you working More so I mean a little we overlap a lot, but I would say you work more with schools and I remember We're talking about just business development and like continually finding those customers and reaching out to people It just goes on forever and there's so much rejection like more than I have This has been like the thing I've been most rejected for over and over and over consistently Right, but it does obviously that's the work that's needed to build a business, but I find that challenging The other thing that flipped in me Compared to when I was working at A job before and then running your own business is when I was working before If I had some work to do that like had to get done over the weekend, I would kind of be Doing it like Annoyed kind of on like late on a Sunday night just like ready Just getting the bare amount done that I could so Monday morning I was like all set up and it was always like out of begrudgingly and you know working on it and just Trying to get trying to get to the I'm ready for Monday morning, let's say But now I find the opposite problem where now I need to very consciously like take myself away from working because I would It's so easy and it's like such a joy for me to just keep working that I know I need to take breaks for myself, but it's almost the opposite. So where it was difficult for me to do work Um, let's say kind of like overtime type work before now. It's like I need to stop myself from doing that Yes, do you find the same? Yep, absolutely. No, that's I'm so glad you mentioned that I had a call with my dad yesterday or sorry, um two days ago And I'm just like hey dad need some fatherly advice and he's probably listening. Hey dad And I'm just like I'm having trouble not working. Yeah I I like working. I think it's great, but I'm having trouble just like focusing on something else because I'm having trouble um Experiencing pleasure without guilt because I know that I could be doing some work instead I could have sent another 10 emails. I could have recorded another video I could have found another podcast guest. I could have done another talk And at what point do you draw the line where it's like, okay? Here's my work. Here's my Private life my personal life where I am Geez expanding my mind in other ways, but it is addicting That's it.  So Yeah, I think your actions are so directly related to your outcomes Which may be a lot of people are missing in their workplace That it does become addicting and especially with sales and business development. Like you can't finish There's it's unending. You can always do more Yeah, right and it's a it's a continuous cycle like okay q1's done. Okay now here's your quota for q2 It's like what I just finished q1. What are you can I celebrate for a second? Yeah Um, it's so continuous, but we mentioned how okay your your rewards are so not attached from your efforts And maybe an average workplace or you give the report to your manager and it disappears Whereas for for people who are self-employed. It's like no It's it's difficult But once you do see where your work goes and once you get that reward or that new client or hear that new testimonial That feels so good And that's where maybe the uh You don't have to call it an addiction. I was gonna say addiction The the metaphor for me is like, okay. The only reason I golf is because Out of a three-hour game playing 18 holes I'll have like two good shots like really good shots that feel so good That that's enough to make me keep playing Next year and the the month after all you need is just like one good shot out of 120 shots out of the round If you're bad like me and it's same with like maybe running a business or doing these things It's like yes, there's so much rejection. There's so much failure. There's so much learning and flipping your business upside down and kind of Seeking new perspectives and new ideas and new marketing how to reach new people and then when it works just once It's like oh the the shoulders come down. Yeah, and you feel so good Is that kind of the feeling you get when you is same with with how you're running your business? Yeah, absolutely and in our business like I think being able to employ some other people so your facilitators in different cities is There's a lot of joy in that I think helping other people do Like very talented facilitators who want to get into the corporate market, but maybe weren't Able to or didn't have the time to do it on their own. That's very rewarding Any feedback you get after a session, I would imagine you get this too, especially from kids is really really Rewarding and I there's a part where it like kind of pulls at the heartstrings and and that to me also is like Then that's yeah, your shoulders come down and you're like this is why I'm doing this now. I remember again. Yeah, a beautiful A reminder. Yeah, that's which is so needed I think what's difficult about your business though is it's so necessary and so awesome That I think like when you when you people say no, it's like, what do you mean? You say no Like this is an awesome service. What are you talking about? Right, it's not like you're selling, you know stickers here that aren't necessary You're selling new pencil sharpeners to offices. You're selling something so vital to the human soul and It's it's just hard to hear that no because it's like, what do you mean? This this can help so this can help your employees. I promise and we've talked about this too. It's so personal because Early on or if we're talking about keynote speaking or It's when you're just working with yourself in your own time Early on when you're pitching programs or pitching your workshops or you're speaking You're pitching yourself. So when they're not interested It's not like they weren't interested in the widget that your company sells. They're like, we're not interested in you We do not want to pay for this So I think for me, I do feel yeah like You know these things take time. I do think people will come around and that You know, we know that this business is expanding both of our businesses and so but yeah, it is hard to take that rejection It's very personal but also a great learning experience for rejection. It's very humbling. It is. No, you're right. You're right It's like not everyone Is necessarily on my team totally which is a good It's kind of a good experience to have if you succeed all just like any sport You learn more from a loss than you do a win, right? You can look to improve and how you're actually marketing yourself and and what's needed and what businesses actually want need and But as far as holding yourself worth To your business, that's where things get tangled with self-employment.  I'm only worth half. Yeah, I'm only worth this much I thought it was worth this much and then we were tying ourselves to like it's a monetary standard I'm like, no, that's not right. A human being isn't worth, you know money It's really tricky. Do you struggle with that sometimes or have yourself Dealing with those thoughts a hundred percent. I think I'm it's getting easier, but early on yet everything was so personal and I think too early on every Um gig you can get or any outreach like it's so you are so dependent on it that that's why the stakes are so much higher Um, you reminded me there's this really really good. Um clip from Years ago and it's when Oprah was starting her talk show. I don't know if you've seen it like floating around Um, I'll send it to you. It's so good the interviewers like asking her, you know, what if He straight up says what if your talk show doesn't succeed, which is a little aggressive, but she's like Well, I will still be successful because I'm not just my tv show It's such a like power It's such a good clip and she also says it's so old and it's like pre Now knowing how successful she is and everything that she's done She's like that would be she says something long lines of like it would be wonderful if I could be a talk show host and you're like You did a really good job of that. You're like the best in the world. So So yeah, I think it's like Having that confidence and maybe if you don't have the confidence like working on affirmations and visualization and just being like I will succeed outside of this business or this business can Pivot and we can always Make changes that's been helpful. So when you go to regina Um peak wellness is still going to exist. You're going to do it there and then hopefully We'll keep your facilitators in all different cities through canada. Is that the plan? Yeah, you got it. So we have facilitators um We're really well set up in toronto vancouver Kelowna new york, we're kicking off and then I'll be running it out of regina primarily But yeah, there's so many talented facilitators All across north america. There's no shortage. Um, and so it's gonna be a matter of working on business development doing a lot of that side and then Hiring the best facilitators and and getting them to these offices across north america. Yeah And uh, it's tax season That's another fun part of being self-employed. I just thought of that See, I was listening to you. I was so deeply and then a thought came in It's like scott taxes because I saw my my piece of paper on my Yeah at the end of january. Yeah, so that's another fun part of being self-employed Yeah, it's a it's crazy. I think and I don't want to intimidate anyone from like building a business or starting this but When you think maybe us business students take ourselves too seriously, but You graduate from business and you realize you know nothing about starting a business I guess there's like some theories but in terms of like for myself accounting even just like Setting up your payroll and all that you don't learn how to do that and I found it particularly difficult to even like find information. Um, yeah I felt this is always so shocking to me Like I guess I always just thought like accounting was very black and white So like you would have this expense and you would be like, can I expense this? And I have a couple accountants who I rely on so much Most of them are my friends and they don't want to be like my accountant at all But I always ask them these questions and I'll be like, can I expense this? Is this a business expense and they'll be like, well, you put it like this it could be or like I just thought it was like black and white And so that has been a learning curve for sure But I do think like you should never feel discouraged from that side of the business Because you can always find people to help you or at the At the worst case scenario you pay someone to do it for you shouldn't discourage you from building a business But yeah, it's super confusing.  You're forced to do the exams And it's just like when I graduated I was so excited just to learn whatever I wanted finally And when there was no pressure no final exam I could absorb information so much easier When it was something that I was really interested in Did you find that going to school where you were you interested in every single course Because what was what was your major? Um, we didn't actually major so it was just business. Oh business. Yeah the community college Uh, no is that western? Like maybe I don't know I thought we were telling jokes Western what did you think of western? I absolutely loved it. Okay. I was only there for a year and a half. Um, I was a transfer student for regina. So I obviously like It was so crazy to me. Um It was it seemed like out of like a movie like movies you would watch with like frat parties and stuff.  It's so crazy. Um, but I did have a really good experience there You did. Okay. Was that a different keila university keila versus now? Yeah, definitely It's so different. Yeah, it's like we were saying this morning like going out like I guess I say that with in quotations is so different now and like What we want to do with our spare time is so different but When we're in school that was definitely the norm just going out was like a constant. Um, and so things have changed for sure I I don't go out like that anymore. That's not drinking is not really a Much interest to me, but at western. Yeah, it's a it's a big part of their culture. I would say right, right so I was um Speaking to my sister this morning and I bought flour and I have eggs and I'm gonna um Try making my own pasta. I've never done that before and um, she has a pasta maker, but I saw how to make Niochi too and you can do this different stuff with a rolling pin and I was like My emotions just ran a little high and I got really excited because I thought about me going to kitchen stuff plus and purchasing a and purchasing a um rolling pin And that got me excited. I was like, what is my life now? The thought of buying a rolling pin is it made me really happy. I'm like, this is unbelievable So I think personalities change what excites us changes as we get older Um, do you like the way you've changed since university? Have you made a progression more towards your Your value system and what you what you honestly think is important in life I think so like I wouldn't take back those experiences in university, but when I had um Like when I had a nervous breakdown was went to the hospital as diagnosed with bipolar disorder was off work for a year All that that was all like pretty much right after university and so Although that was like very challenging when I look back now It's like I realized that I Did there was a lot I didn't know about myself even in university even when you think like you're in university You think you're like old and like wise I realized I mean in hindsight there was very little I knew about mental health in general um My mental health in particular different types of mental illnesses strategies for like coping and healthy um coping habits like I didn't know any of that stuff and so I didn't know we've joked about this before too. It's like it's such a a privilege to have Under to understand that better But the reason that we understand it better is because we just got like Absolutely knocked to the ground earlier like right just destroyed mentally and emotionally and everything and so But would I take that back? I don't think so because it's It's helped me learn who I am like at my core and so when I look back even at like Pictures and stuff from university. I was very happy. I was always like having a good time But I realized I knew nothing about my mental health very interesting So hopefully between you and I we can help Change that So people, you know, you're in university You still like have some basic knowledge and understanding around mental health because I guess I can only speak for myself. I just didn't have that. That's that's so great. And also, um I guess admirable to say that you wouldn't take it back I always feel like if people don't regret then and like where they are in the present moment Then they can't regret where they've been and what they've done because it's brought you to this moment Which is so important to realize I think I'd like to just ask you about when you say nervous breakdown Did this so this happened after university? Did this happen at work? So do you want to let us in on on on that? story because that was a And this diagnosis by pol diagnosis sorry with bipolar disorder. This was a big big I guess Uh, but pivotal moment into what led you to peak wellness. Totally. Yeah, and I think you're right every single thing that I experienced Even like although it wasn't enjoyable in that time has given me a perspective that I just didn't have I couldn't even access before this.  Nothing really crazy ever happened went to school. Graduates started working Um, and over a very short period like an acute period of kind of like two three weeks My behavior started to become very odd and like, um, just not like myself but My office was probably they saw it the most like just spending so much time at the office and them seeing Changes in my behavior. So things such as like For bipolar for mania, it can be things like barely sleeping lots of appetite Your mind is just going like a mile a minute even symptoms such as like cutting people off When they're speaking, um Really just feeling like out there aspects of paranoia It really all culminated in like this acute period of um two weeks And so although my friends were seeing a little bit of it because they didn't see me every day I think they were kind of like, you know, that's a little weird, but like it wasn't a big red flag for them um, but Yeah, I just was was increasingly not sleeping which affected everything else and then my Just my understanding of the world just got super distorted all in like one day. So that's called psychosis Um, and so that all culminated. I went to work that day Uh, you know, and there was just so I'd briefly spoken with my parents on the phone And they just could tell that something was like really Out of whack like something just what I was saying just was barely making sense. And so They actually called my office and they were like is keila at work today and It what had happened is I had gone to work and I was like very distraught and they were like, okay You should go home like take the day off like take however many days off you need like just let us know so I went home and then um in that process my parents called um my office and then I ended up going back to the office and my parents had said to my boss at that time Like we don't know what's going on, but if she When she comes into work like take her to the hospital like it was it was very very extreme just the things I was thinking and saying And so that's exactly what happened. I came back to work And I went to emergency with my boss I was in the psych ward with my boss for hours and hours and I was just extremely extremely lucky that my employer was just Every step of the way so supportive and I know most people do not have that experience But yeah, I mean even with their support And then holding the job for me while I was off work I was off work almost double the amount of time I had worked there So I worked there for like six months as off work for a year got back to work full time Their support was just incredible. Um, but I still had a lot of embarrassment about like what had happened at work Even though just a couple people saw it It was so that was the most vulnerable I've ever been in my entire life So that took me a while to really work through. I'd say I'm still working through it. Um because Well, they understood that that was not me that was not like My actions were not myself. I was um Quite literally psychotic It still felt to me like I should have been in control of that situation and I was Right Is that what makes it more I guess the healing process a little more difficult is Thinking that you should have been in control, but literally couldn't yeah I find actually in my experience and I have heard this from some other people as well with bipolar disorder. Um The depression is easier to like come to Terms with for whatever reason. I think I felt well with the depression. I wasn't in any psychosis. So I was Thinking straight although I was depressed. Um, but the mania is really hard to come to terms with because you Are not yourself. You are not in reality. You are not Thinking even you just become so detached and so Another thing that I think makes it hard is like it's not like I like blacked out for that period Like I remember it. I remember going back to math is very well And then going to the hospital so I also can remember some of the thought patterns I was thinking during that and so That's really hard to come to terms with because you're like I remember why I said that thing Now I have the perspective of knowing like why that was like extreme paranoia and psychosis, but it doesn't necessarily make it easier because I felt like I should not have been acting that way Hmm So I think mania it's a really weird weird Experience and I think Um having now a network of people that I can kind of lean on and having had lots of conversations about mania With other people by polar disorder. It's really really comforting because you realize your story is not unique people all around the world and historically Um, you know have had these experiences But yeah, you're not in control. I think that is a big factor That's that's a that's a comforting feeling a lot of people thinking that they're alone Then a quick google search, you know what I mean and to see All you know people continue to say we're not talking about mental health If you just look at the hundreds thousands of support groups youtube channels videos resources online resources non-profits charities Thousands and thousands of advocates for any mental illness ever There is so much conversation around that so if you feel alone My friends use your computer to your advantage and just And even just Kayla speaking about her own personal experience You are definitely not alone in this and there are people that connect with who can understand And empathize with what you're going through On that note, I'd like to Ask politely If you would um be comfortable Please everyone if you're driving just pay attention. Um, if you kind of like to lead us through a short little meditation A meditation how about a meditation for beginners? Okay, um, maybe something something short that people can use obviously not while they're driving Yes, that's not good for driving Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, okay. This is for this is for me too selfishly. Um, I don't know, uh What do you think for beacon? What do you think three minutes? I was gonna say like three five minutes. Okay, okay all right, okay, I'm choosing between a body scan and One I made up that doesn't really have a name. Oh the one you made up for sure. Oh, yeah This is the the calo original this one right here Yeah, this is funny. I I'm not sure if you get asked this as well But sometimes people will be like what type of meditation is this and because there's obviously so much history and so We our curriculum pulls from it a couple different types but um, you know, if our if the meditation is about like how to Like have a mindful coffee break and how to enjoy your coffee It's not from a specific lineage or you know, right, right, right. So a lot of these are more, um, like very very heavily guided as well as pretty literal. So there's not a lot of like, um Visualization required that's kind of a hallmark of what we do for beginners That I love that it doesn't need to fall into a box or a label. It's just right. So that's great. I love that Okay, let's do it. All right Everyone, uh, if you're driving press pause now and then listen to this when you're home or in the morning or when you get to the office Okay, I am ready. Okay. I actually do have a name for this one. It's called taking up space. So the taking up space meditation.   It doesn't matter.  So all your energy pushing to the ceilings the walls Really filling the entire room with How you see yourself you as a person your energy feeling almost limitless in The space around you We spend so much time trying to make ourselves smaller Let's feel like what it feels like to take up space We'll sit in this for just a couple breaths Now bringing all your concentration to How you filled this room You can feel kind of your energy and awareness shooting out of every part of your body And let's imagine now that that Breaks through the windows knocks down the doors goes all the way out to the hallway onto the street As far as you can imagine As far as that awareness is available to you You might feel like this is Taking up a couple blocks maybe entire city of province of state this space is 100 percent yours as far as you can imagine as far as you can visualize And we'll sit through through a few breaths here Just feeling what it feels like to take up space We can imagine with this visualization just how many people we interact with For covering an entire city the number of people that we're reaching the interconnectivity Feeling the comfort of community what it feels like to interact with those around you I'll ask you to call to mind just how we started this meditation That's faced between the palms when we felt small and tiny and condensed And comparing that feeling now to what it feels like to fill the room the hallway the streets the city Taking up space I find it helpful to roll your shoulders up to your ears now And down your back try to carry this feeling with you today wherever you go When it's comfortable for you I invite you to blink your eyes back open and into the room There you go And on that note I feel very Large Good in a very good way Um on that note, I'd like to thank kala for coming on the podcast kala any last messages that you'd like to um You know send the send the audience also, how can we find you? Sure, so you can find us online. We are peak wellness co.com I listed a couple of cities that we're working in right now, but we are growing and so if this feels like something you'd want to bring to Your workplace or your community space. Um, that's where you find us on instagram. We're also peak wellness co And any final messages for the listeners? um Oh, I hope this is I hope this is um helpful and hopefully by sharing some of my experience You might feel a little less alone and know that there's Tons and tons of people like us out there. Um, and you know by following the study the work that's got stewing I think you do a really good job of highlighting that So thank you. Thank you so much kala. Thanks everyone. Stay strong Keep being you express yourself and uh, try a little bit of meditation here and there. Bye. Bye


Symmetry, as wide or as narrow as you may define its meaning, is one idea by which man through the ages has tried to comprehend and create order, beauty, and perfection. This quote, attributed to German mathematician and theoretical physicist Hermann Weil, rings true in many aspects of society. Human minds have shown deep fascination with seeking and finding patterns and symmetries in nature, as well as forming our own symmetric creations that we equate with attractiveness or refinement. One interest of theoretical physics is the idea of symmetries in the universe. Group theory is a cornerstone in fundamental quantum theory. Using group theory, particle physicists can define and explain the different types of symmetry that they observe through the interactions of elementary particles. In this video, I will be presenting a brief overview of some of the connections between group theory and science, and explain how these applications deepen our understanding of quantum states in the universe. Let's begin by defining what a symmetry is. Simply put, a symmetry is a mapping of an object onto itself that preserves the structure of the object. It's a property where an object undergoes a process of operations and transformations that leaves it essentially unchanged. We can think of symmetries of the universe as transformations under which the laws of physics remain the same. Let me give an example. Suppose that you stand at the origin in a completely empty region of the universe. You have a ball and you give it a push along the x-axis so that it begins to move at a constant velocity. I stand at the position 4-4 and apply the same amount of force to an identical ball two seconds later along the line y equals x. So my question is, do the laws of physics remain the same in both scenarios? The answer would be, yes they do. There is nothing fundamentally different about this situation and this one. In both cases, we can predict what the behavior of the ball is going to be and we can think of these two cases as equivalent. This is because we say that the laws of physics are invariant under translation and rotation and invariant through time. That is, the universe follows a translational symmetry, it follows a rotational symmetry, and it follows a time symmetry. Emmy Noether, a brilliant German mathematician, proved this theorem named after her. Every differentiable symmetry of a physical system imposes the conservation of a physical quantity. In our example, conservation of momentum corresponds to translation, conservation of angular momentum corresponds to rotation, and conservation of energy corresponds to travel through time. We refer to these types of symmetries as global symmetries, but there are also local gauge symmetries in the world that correspond to fundamental forces. The four fundamental forces are gravitational force, electromagnetic force, strong force, and weak nuclear force. Gravity does not have a symmetry, but the other three forces do. The symmetry group that describes electromagnetism is U1. The symmetry group that describes the weak nuclear force is Su2, and the symmetry group that describes the strong interaction is Su3. In a moment here, we'll briefly go over each of these and what they mean, but first, these three groups are all what we call Lie groups, so let's talk about what those are. We can think of a Lie group as a type of continuous group that is also a smooth manifold. Topologically, a manifold is a space in which each point has some neighborhood around it that resembles Euclidean space, at least on a local level. So we can say that the neighborhood is, in fact, homeomorphic to an open subset of Euclidean space, where homeomorphic essentially means isomorphic in a topological context. In the field of quantum mechanics, we actually work in what we call Hilbert space, but this is simply an analog of Euclidean space that can be extended to infinite dimensions. We don't want to get too much into the weeds here, so I'll just say this. If we have a continuous group where element multiplication and the taking inverses are both differentiable or smooth, we have a Lie group. In an abstract algebra course, when students are first introduced to groups, they will typically begin by investigating groups with discrete structures like Zn, Dn, and Sn. However, Lie groups provide an ideal representation of the continuous symmetries that appear in quantum physics. Lie groups represent an intersection between algebra and geometry, allowing us to use algebra to describe physical phenomena. Furthermore, they are differentiable, which opens up the possibility of making several useful calculations on them using calculus. Another thing to note is that because Lie groups are continuous, they will have infinite order. So first, let's take a look at u1, the unitary group of degree 1. Un is the group of n by n unitary matrices. A unitary matrix is one whose conjugate transpose is its inverse. For u1, we only have a 1 by 1 matrix, which is really just a number. Geometrically, we can think of this group as simply the unit circle graphed onto the complex plane. Algebraically, we write this group as all complex numbers e to the i phi, where phi is a real number. We note that the conjugate of e to the i phi is e to the negative i phi, and these two multiplied together give us 1, which is the identity. One interesting thing is that u1 contains complex elements, but it's actually isomorphic to a real valued group, SO2. An orthogonal matrix is given by this definition, a matrix whose transpose is its inverse. We can kind of think of unitary matrices as the complex parallel to orthogonal matrices in that sense. The special orthogonal group only contains orthogonal matrices with a determinant of 1. We can define SO2 like this in this kind of matrix form. So here's our proof that matrices of this form are indeed elements of SO2. Geometrically, we know that SO2 is the same as u1, and we can clearly see that u1 maps to SO2 by this relation right here. We're not going to go through the proof of this, but this function is actually an isomorphism. Therefore, the two groups are isomorphic. Notice that only one parameter, the angle of rotation, is used to parameterize u1. This is because the angle of rotation is the only variable. It's the only quantity that changes in our equation for an element to u1, and this means that we can obtain any element in u1 by changing phi alone. Remember how before I said that u1 characterizes the symmetries of electromagnetism? Well, this single parameter of u1 actually corresponds to the electromagnetic force carrier, or messenger particle, namely the photon, and the symmetries of electromagnetic force correspond to the law of conservation of charge. Now by force carrier or messenger, I mean that in particle physics, we can think of a force as simply the transfer or exchange of an elementary particle. As an example, say that two electrons are traveling towards each other. How does the yellow electron communicate its presence to the green electron and vice versa? It's through the exchange of photons to each other, an exchange that causes the particles to be repelled through the electromagnetic force. So again, just like how u1 only has one parameter, electromagnetism only has one force carrier, also known as a mediating particle, and that is the photon. What do our other groups look like? Recall that SUn will be the n by n special unitary matrices. SU2 corresponds to the weak interaction and can be used to describe properties like the isospin of fermions such as leptons and quirks. It is isomorphic to the group of uniquiturnians, which is given by this formula right here, and its symmetries correspond to the law of conservation of lepton number. I'm showing three matrices here called the poly matrices. These matrices are very useful and very important to the SU2 group because when we multiply each one by i, we obtain three matrices that together with the identity matrix form a complete basis for the le algebra that corresponds to the SU2 group. As there are three matrices, there are also three associated elementary particles. z to the zero, which means that z has a zero chart, the w minus boson, and the w plus boson. These are all bosons and these are carriers of the weak force. Finally, let's take a look at SU3, the group that characterizes the strong force and its symmetries. We can utilize properties of this group and calculations in this group to investigate properties like the color of a quark, which we can think of as the strong force equivalent of electric charge. Color is conserved in strong interactions. In general, the SUN group will have n squared minus one generating matrices. We unknowingly observed this property in SU2 when we had three generators. Keeping with this pattern, SU3 has eight generators called the Gell-Mann matrices that look like this. Therefore, in keeping with our pattern here, we're going to anticipate eight mediators for the strong force and surely enough there are eight of them and they're called gluons. We name the gluons by different color combinations as shown here. These three groups provide the foundation for the standard model as it is today. The standard model can be thought of as SU3 cross SU2 cross U1, but what do these symmetries actually look like? Let's go through a few simple examples. Consider an electron that's traveling along and then releases a W minus boson. What happens to the electron? What does this look like in our system? And what needs to take place right here in the center? Let's think about a couple of the properties that need to be conserved in this situation. One quantum property that will be conserved is called lepton number, sometimes informally referred to as lepton-ness. As we see from our table of the standard model, an electron is a lepton, but a boson is not, so an electron will have a lepton number of plus one, whereas the W minus boson will have a lepton number of zero. As a side note, antileptons also exist with a lepton number of negative one, but for this scenario, we don't have to worry about that. Since we have an initial net plus one lepton-ness, we need a final net plus one as well, which means that we have another particle in our system when the W minus boson is admitted. However, electric charge also needs to be conserved. In elementary charge units, our electron has a charge of negative one, and so does our boson, which means that we need a neutrally charged lepton. That means that these top three leptons cannot be our mystery particle. We have other properties that also need to be conserved, and it turns out that the particle that fits all of these criteria is the electron neutrino. We can view the same situation with a slightly different framework. This diagram gives us a sort of unique visualization of the particles in the standard model and shows us how there is a natural symmetry embedded in these particle interactions. Using our example from before, let's start at the bottom of our picture with an electron. When it emits a W minus boson, we can consider this action as a kind of operation that we perform on the electron, which we can think of as a vector, by applying the generating matrices that we looked at previously. We also can consider it like a physical transformation of the electron, where when the boson is emitted, the electron undergoes a rotation in this space and becomes an electron neutrino. Another example we can use is the property of color in quarks. Color is not actually color in the typical sense that we think of it, but it is a property that is conserved under the strong interaction. The quark colors are red, blue, and green, and the quark anti-colors are anti-red, anti-blue, and anti-green. So let's consider a neutron that contains three quarks, a red, a blue, and a green. The net color of our neutron is white, or sometimes also called colorless, because red plus blue plus green gives us white. Now suppose that our blue quark emits a blue anti-green gluon, which the green quark then absorbs. Our system now looks like this, and though the colors between individual quarks have been adjusted, the net color of our system remains the same. Now mathematically, what is happening here? Let's take a second look at our Gelman matrices. You may have noticed earlier that the Gelman matrices are traceless and singular. That is, they don't have inverses. The fact is that these matrices themselves are not actually elements of SU3. However, they can generate elements of SU3 through what we call matrix exponentiation, which can be performed using this power series. So if we take a Gelman matrix and apply this equation right here, we actually get a matrix that is in the SU3 group. So in our quark example, we can think of the blue quark as a vector that is being multiplied by one of these matrices. And we can also think of the green quark as a vector that has the inverse matrix applied to it. And ultimately, color is conserved overall in our system. This is another way that we see symmetries in nature's most fundamental atoms. To wrap up here, I just want to mention that the way that physicists talk and think about groups differs from the way that mathematicians think and talk about groups. This is because their purposes are not the same. Physicists care a lot about the way in which groups are represented. They discuss concepts like adjoint, defining, and irreducible representations of groups, because representations are how we characterize groups as linear transformations in vector spaces that can then be manipulated, or in geometric environments that translate to the physical world. In fact, abstract algebra in theoretical physics often manifests itself as an overlap between group theory and our presentation theory. We don't see this kind of perspective or approach in pure mathematics. For a physicist, groups are like a means to an end. For a mathematician, the group itself is the end. This dissimilarity is a good thing and an interesting thing to be aware of, especially if this interaction between math and physics is something that peaks your curiosity and that you want to continue studying. That is all that I have for this video. My goal in creating this has been to provide a helpful and insightful resource that gives some simple to understand, not too technical examples of the applications of abstract algebra to particle physics, and I hope that this will prove to be useful for someone who is interested in these connections between math and science. Thank you so much for listening, stay curious, stay positive, and have a marvelous day!