Okay, let's pray. Father we thank you Lord, we thank you for these words, we thank you for these, all the exhortation, God, for this reminder from your word that you will, Lord, what you, you will do, what you said you will do, God, that you will teach, that you will instruct and your desires that, that you will guide with your eye, Lord, even those minute, Lord, promptings with your eye and Lord, thank you that you called us, Lord, to that place of intimacy. You invited us, each one of us, to that place of relationship, to that closeness of relationship, to receive instruction, teaching and guidance. Father God, we thank you that it is not from a distance, but Lord, from a place of friendship, from a place of walking with you, God, in agreement with you. And so Lord, we pray, God, that we will, God, as we have been warned that not to be like the horse or the mule, which needs to be forced to be brought to you, brought to a person, but God, that we will not be like that, that we will come willingly of our own accord, God, joyfully to your presence, God, and we choose to do that this morning.  Lord, we thank you that you are the source of hope and comfort, and Lord, we come to you, God.  We thank you, Father God, we thank you, Master. Changes, Lord, changes from the inside out, changes, Lord. I pray for renewal right now, I pray for restoration, I pray for strength, God, I pray for renewal of everything that may have been lost or that is, that is low right now, I just pray that made increase in Jesus' name, made increase in Jesus' name. Father, we thank you, we thank you. Let's also take some time to just pray for, you know, since we are studying about marriage and let's pray for those, you know, those in our families or, you know, maybe for our own marriage or, you know, those who need strength, you know, who need life in their marriage, right? Who need restoration, reconciliation, who need joy in their marriage. So if you know of people, you know, you can just pray for them by your name. Let's take some time to do that, a couple of minutes to do that. We thank you, we bless your name, God, we bless your name. Yes, Lord, blessing God, blessing, blessing, Father God, your presence, Father God, your healing presence, oh God. Lord, your joy, Father God, your strength, God, your peace, oh God. Your protection, Father God, Yes, Father God, we thank you. Thank you, Lord. We pray for strengthening of this covenant, oh God. Yes, Lord, whatever the enemy is trying to do, we pray, we just pray for a rebuilding, we pray for a restoration. Thank you, Father God. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Master. We bring all these marriages, Father God, Lord, to your throne of grace, Father God, we pray for an impartation of grace in their marriage, pray for an impartation, God, a freshness, God. You would breathe life, Father God. Lord, I pray for repentance and reconciliation, God. I pray for a forsaking of everything that is unhealthy and toxic in their marriage. Yes, Father God, thank you, Master. Thank you. Lord, I pray that each couple will recognize that you are the creator, the designer of marriage and family. Lord, I pray for every couple to come in accordance and come in alignment, God, with the divine design, Father God. Thank you, Lord. Thank you.  In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen. Amen. Okay. Yeah, so last class, we, does anyone remember what we finished with? Anyone? What did we close with last class? Just put it on the chat. Last topic, anything that you recall, take away. One thing that you recall, one thing that you remember. You can put it on the chat. What did we study last class? Okay, communication, sharing, responsibilities, washing dishes. Yes. So that was a big part. So the topic that we covered was managing our home, right, a very important aspect, because it's going to be the married couple starting a family. And whatever happens, the dynamics in the home, there's a lot of work. And it's not just one person carrying the load. So there's equal amount of sharing of responsibilities and understanding now who's doing what. And so, so we looked at that. Okay, for us to get an understanding that, yes, there's a lot of work involved, the responsibilities involved. And these are, well, you know, sometimes what happens is people get very, you know, starry eyed, very romantic about marriage, which is all great. But also, people need to understand that, you know, it's, it's very practical. It's very, you know, it's a day to day thing. There are routines, there are schedules, there are, you know, shows to be done, errands to be, you know, and it's, it's not all glossy and everything. It's hard, it's work. Right. So, so we looked at that. And we also looked at one, you know, very important aspect of, you know, of time, how do we spend time with one another being being intentional about it, and, and also, and also about money, about finances, right? So a lot of differences happen, or crop up because of finances, because of spending and different conflicting ideas about spending and so on. So we looked at finances and how one can come to an understanding of that, and understanding of financial goals, and sharing of financial goals, etc. And we also looked at one more aspect when it comes to managing our home about, about extended family, or, you know, about parents, about in-laws, those who are elderly, those who do not anyone else to care for. So we looked at all those aspects, you know, and how initial days of marriage, the initial months of season, it's better if the couple stays separately in the sense, you know, without any other influence, you know, dictating their schedules, because they're just getting used to each other, and managing the home, making decisions, and so on. So if there's others who are crowding in influencing that and intruding, then it is challenging, right? But we also understand that there are certain circumstances where that cannot be avoided. You know, maybe the parents are elderly, maybe the parents are, let's say they cannot care for themselves, and so on, like, you know, it could be either a set of parents or a parent, you know, who's widowed, maybe. So in such circumstances, how do we how do we handle, you know, how do we handle decisions? How do we handle time? Or in terms of privacy in the home and so on. So these are things that need to be, it's good if it is discussed. And it is good if there is an understanding by both, you know, both the husband and the wife in this matter. So then it makes things easier. And it also helps in resolving conflicts in a very healthy manner, right? Okay, so today we're going to look at chapter eight, which is, again, a very important aspect of marriage.  So we're going to talk about this. And yeah, I will also share the PPT as we go along. So it's it's an important topic in the sense, you know, in different cultures, you know, we know that it is it is not discussed openly, right? openly in the sense of the groom and the bride in the groom, you know, between them, it is not discussed or even individually, one might have a faulty understanding, one might have a deficient understanding of it, and maybe not necessarily a biblical understanding of it. So much of the talk about sex and sexuality in in culture is is what the media popularizes and praise God for Christian media, praise God for the voice that the church has. So there's a lot of content out there in, you know, in today's social media and popular media about sex and sexuality, right? There are wonderful ministries, even, you know, there is in the West and even right home right here, you know, in India, wonderful ministries about family, about marriage, which, which have a strong voice, you know, talking about different things which maybe that, you know, as a community of believers as a church, even people have not people have hesitated to address these topics, you know, not really talked about it because, oh, well, culturally, traditionally, you know, it's not our custom, you know, it's, or we feel a little, I don't know, uncomfortable to talk about it, and so on. So, right? So, but it's an important aspect, again, it's an important aspect where people, again, it's, you know, if one does not have a biblical understanding, it's possible that people, you know, it's possible that creates a lot of conflict, it creates, you know, it even people get separated based on this. And, and also, sometimes people just suffer silently. And because it's, you know, where can we go to, where can we talk about this? It feels like, you know, if I feel so ashamed to talk about it, can I even talk about it? There's so much of stigma attached to it, right? So, so let's, let's look at chapter eight, right? And then look at what the word of God talks about sex, about sexuality, right? And so, so let's look at that. So, so we see that, you know, it's an important part of marriage, it's a big part of one part of matter, I won't say big part, one part of marriage, because this is how the Lord created us. Lord created us male and female, and the Lord designed marriage, and sexual intimacy is part and parcel of it, right? We see that marriage is, you know, sex is not just for procreation, but it's also an expression of intimacy, it is also something that God created to be enjoyed between the husband and the wife, right? So, so let's look at a few scriptures, right? Let's look at Hebrews chapter 13. Okay, let me just share the screen. Okay, we put it as PG 13, because we shared this message in church. And so we just wanted to make sure that, you know, it should be age appropriate. So, for that particular Sunday, I remember, you know, we just made sure that there are no, you know, 13 or less than 13 folks in the, in the, in the church, in the congregation. Okay, so, so if you look at Hebrews 13 and verse four, okay, so we see this like honor marriage. Okay. And in honoring marriage, how? Okay, how do we honor marriage? This is what it is. Verse four.  Okay, if you want to look at the New King James, it says marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled.  So fornication and adultery, God will judge. Okay, so talks about the serious manner in which God views sex in marriage, right, that it is something sacred. And it is sacred because God instituted it. It is sacred because God designed it. It's holy because he, he's the one who created, who designed it, right? Okay, so when we, if you need to honor, if marriage is honorable, marriage is in God's eyes, he esteems marriage to be honorable, and to be honored. Therefore, the husband and wife should also do the same.  And have boundaries so that there is no sex outside of marriage, even. Okay, let's look at one Corinthians seven. Okay, versus one to six. Okay, so, so let's say, you know, just before going to that, we mentioned about fornication, which is sex before marriage. Okay, so there could be, you know, there could be instances where maybe a couple, or just one person, you know, had or was having a relationship or sexual relationship before their marriage, right? Before, before their marriage with someone else, maybe with the same person, whatever. So the thing is, okay, what should I do? Right? What should that person do? The, the right thing to do is, of course, to repent and for sake, right, to repent of that, to come to God and ask for forgiveness, and, and to cut away those ties, right, to ask God for cleansing, to ask God for restoration, healing, wholeness, and to that, right? And if it is an extramarital affair, which resulted in, you know, which resulted in adultery, sexual relationship, then also, right, to ask for forgiveness, to ask forgiveness from the spouse, to, to be restored, relationship to be restored, trust to be built up, rebuilt, and, and to God that. Okay, so it's important that one should, one should do that, right? Think about healing and cleansing, ask for cleansing and healing and, and be restored, you know, before continuing, right? Okay, so when we look at 1.7, and was as one to six, okay, we're going to read from the message and we're going to also look at the New King James. So 1.7, was one to six. Okay, let's look at the, you know, message version, which is now getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Okay, so, so the Golden Thin Church has been asking, writing to Paul about various things, right? Food offered idols, you know, about communion, about various things. So Paul is addressing one by one. And also, it comes down to marriage. So saying this, you know, is, you know, this is some, these are some questions that you have asked. So, so he says, he addresses that and he says, certainly, you know, is it good?  The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality. The husband seeking to satisfy his wife and wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to stand up for your rights. Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it. But if it's for the purposes of prayer and fasting, and but only for such times, then come back together again. Satan has ingenious way of tempting us when we least accept it. I'm not understand commanding these periods of abstinence, only providing my best counsel if you should choose them. Okay, so Paul is, you know, giving his counsel and also the biblical perspective of sex in marriage, right? So if you if you know if you read from the New King James says now concerning the things of which you wrote to me, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband.  And he's talking about affection. So so so we see we come to certain understanding of, you know, about sex. What it is, it is an expression of affection. And so it and he also goes on to say that. And likewise, also the wife to her husband, the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does and do not deprive one another except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer but come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self control. But I say this is a concession, not as a commandment. Okay, so several things that we understand from from this passage. Okay, so if you look at verse two, so says, well, he's saying, okay, it is okay, or it is good for, let me look at verse two.  So sex in marriage to be fulfilling to be balanced, satisfying, right. So, which is mentioned there, then we go on to verse three. So verse three talks about how it is a place of mutuality. Meaning, you know, then you can just say, so it's a husband render to his wife the affection, and likewise, also the wife to her husband. So, so it is an expression of expression of affection, this expression of intimacy, expression of love, and of course, there is enjoyment and pleasure and fulfillment in that. So we see that, okay, the Bible is very clear. Okay, so we understand that, okay, it's not just for the sake of procreation, like having children, so on. But it's also for the purpose of fulfilling enjoyment, intimacy, expression of love and affection. Then verse four says, it's not a place to stand up for your rights, it's a decision to serve. So it's, so we understand that it is, you know, it's not because of withholding or because of forcing oneself on the other person, you know, it's not like a weapon to be used.  It's not that, but it's actually serving one another. Okay, so it's, you know, it's a decision to serve one another. If you look at, so verse four is very clear in New King James, you know, when you see it, it does not have authority in the sense that it's, it's, it's also brings a wonderful picture that both of both the husband and the wife belong to each other. That the husband belongs to the wife and the wife belongs to the husband. So, so it not to be treated in a shameful manner, not to be shame, not be treated in a violent manner, not to be treated, you know, in any undignified degrading manner. But to, to really esteem one another, to know that, okay. Sorry, you know, what we see in Ephesians five, what we read in Ephesians five about, about nurturing, about nourishing one another, cherishing one another, right? So, and to treat one another as esteemed, purchased, esteemed possession, right? Okay. So, also verse five talks about, okay, you can choose to abstain from sex. That's an individual choice, maybe, you know, for whatever reason. But he says that, you know, you let it not be for a prolonged, prolonged season, you know, you don't withhold, you don't punish the other person, which is verse four, actually, you know, it's not the act of punishment to the other person, you know, because you had a disagreement or misunderstanding or some kind of conflict. And then, you know, you don't choose to punish the person in that manner by withholding. You know, so he says that and then, okay, verse five, you choose to abstain, maybe even for, you know, fasting prayer and so on, whatever reason, it's fine, but then understand that this is an area which comes under attack, you know. So Satan attacks even this area, so therefore, especially this area, and the temptation, so on. So, you know, it's good that you various intimacy in marriage, right? From verse five talks about, again, the sacredness of marriage. It talks about, you know, intimacy in marriage also talks about the fact that, you know, that one needs to be faithful in this area with your spouse.  So, you know, it's interesting. Proverbs five verses 15 to 19, drink water from your own system and running water from your own well, you know, it's, you know, you have your own source.  So, so it's very, very, you know, very clear that there needs to be faithfulness, there needs to be commitment. And yes, you know, this is an area where you you enjoy, but it is only with your spouse.  So, so, so the Bible is very clear. So the Bible is not against, you know, against sex. Let's we'll come to this. So the Bible is not against sex. Okay, so the Bible is not against, you know, indulging in sex. After all, God designed it. So the thing is this that somehow in popular media, you know, that's the, you know, that's the understanding, unfortunately. And, and for whatever reason, you know, if, if the church is silent on that, then the enemy just becomes louder and louder. And, and instead of the truth, being engraved in people's hearts, the influence is popular media, the influence is whatever, you know, comes at whatever, you know, source of influence is there, which is, which is speaking, which is louder, which is prevalent and which seems to be, you know, packaging the message attractively and say, okay, this is fine, you can do whatever you want.  You know, it's, it's okay. But that's, that's not what what I've got very clearly says there are boundaries and the context is marriage. Okay. So, so what we see is that a sexual relationship is actually in marriage is an expression of commitment, right, is an expression saying that I'm committed to you and to you only. Okay, it is also an expression of intimacy, intimacy, meaning, you know, you're making yourself so vulnerable, so open. And it's only with your spouse. So that kind of intimacy is reserved. It's unique, it's reserved only for spouse. And it's also an expression of pleasure, right, to, to serve one another in that matter for want of a better word. So to give pleasure and to receive pleasure. It's mutual. Right. So, so let's look at another scripture, which is one Corinthian six. Okay, so one Corinthian six was a 16 to 20. Let me just read from from the New King James. And then we look at this. Or do you not know that he who is joined to a harlot is one body with her? For the two, he says shall become one flesh, but he was joined to the Lord, one spirit with him.  Every sin that a man does is outside the body he who commits sexually morally sins immorality sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are gods. Okay, let's look at the message version.  Sex is as much spiritual mystery as physical fact as written in scripture, the two became become one.  Yeah, that can never become one. Okay, I can see that. Let me just share that again. Okay. Right. And was 18. There is a sense in which sexual sins are different from all others. In sexual sin, we violate sacredness of our own bodies. These bodies that were made for God given and God modeled love for becoming one with another. Or didn't you realize that your body is a sacred place, the place of the Holy Spirit?  The physical part of you is not some piece of property belonging to the spiritual part of you. God owns the whole work.  So, so very clear. So we see that it's a process of becoming one. When we looked at becoming one, we saw the other aspects, you know, understanding, sacrifice, and then, you know, coming to a place of walking together, place of agreement in various areas, compatibility and so on. Right. So the fact is that it is a mystery. In the sense, this becoming one. So the physical act of sex actually, you know, is contributing to that. Okay, so, so the thing is that if that is violated, then, then, then, you know, there is no becoming one or there is no intimacy between the husband and the wife. Right. So it is to be the second thing that we see is that it is also to be enjoyed. Okay, it is to be enjoyed in the context of marriage. So we just which is fine. It is between husband and wife. And this honors God. Okay, this really honors God. So he created the bodies and he designed the marriage. So we honor God when we when we in the context of marriage, you know, when there's actual intimacy. Okay, so if the context changes, if the boundaries are, you know, not honored, then we do not honor God. Very simple. Right. The fact is that God, we are his purchased position spirit, soul and body, including the body. And so the Holy Spirit inhabits us. We are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And the physical act of marriage is something sacred. Okay. Right. So there are a couple of other things that you know, which are there, which we talk about, you know, the physical aspect of marriage, a little more practical details. And I realize that, you know, there are people who are married and people are also not married in here. So we will not go into much detail. But I just want you to, you know, read through the notes, and, you know, some of the details which are practical aspects which are mentioned there. So I just want you to read through that. And you'll see that it is, it is useful. It is practical. It is something for for those who are, you know, mad, planning to get married, preparing for marriage, it is definitely preparation, something to keep in mind. And for those of us who are married, maybe it's, you know, certain things that we have not thought of, maybe, you know, there could be some close correction in these areas. I just want to talk about, you know, while managing personal sexuality. Okay, so okay, here are some resources. Okay, the beauty of sexual love, the act of marriage, Tim and Bivali Lahe. It's, it's a wonderful book to read as a, as a couple, actually, you know, as individuals who are preparing to get married. As part of marriage counseling, we even, you know, suggest this for the people who are intending to get married. And another book, the act of marriage, so, you know, people who are despite the same authors, and along with, you know, Mike Yorkie. So this is also a good resource. Right. So there could be questions like, okay, what if, you know, people are beyond 40, you know, what about that?  So it answers all that. Okay, so let's, when it comes to managing personal sexuality, so what do we mean by that?  Okay, so that is what we say as personal sexuality. Okay, now, why do we talk about that? You know, because we have a responsibility. Okay, as men, as women, we have a responsibility in these areas. And we cannot be irresponsible in this area, and still hope for marriage to work, right? We cannot cross boundaries, and still hope for intimacy and marriage. Okay. So the thing is this, that all sexual affection should be directed, directed towards our spouse only. Okay, so, so which means that you make, you make a commitment, right? And many times, you know, we, people make their vows at the altar. So sometimes it's like, you know, you're so distracted, and you're thinking about various things, you know, and, and maybe they, you know, they didn't even mean the vows, you know, they just said it, maybe it was just repeated, you know, it could be in a different frame of mind. The thing is this, that you made a vow, made a commitment, and it was in the presence of God as witness. And, and this is one, you know, faithfulness and commitment, and, and saying that you will not be faith, you know, unfaithful. All that was said at the altar, at the time of marriage. So it's, it's very important that that be honored. It is, there are no options, right? No other options. So directing all our sexual affections, expression should be, should be towards the spouse, husband towards the wife, wife towards the husband. Okay, there's no plan B in that. Okay. So that's very important. The thing is this, oops, sorry, that so once you've made that commitment, you know, will there be inducements, will there be temptations, you know, none of us are exempt from that. Right?  So obviously, there's going to be a lot of, you know, among other things, this also.  So find it in somewhere, that's a lie. You know, find it in someone else. That's a lie. So that can be an argument, you know, that, especially men say, I'm not satisfied. Or the wife is refusing. There are, there are there's a bigger argument, there's a bigger question behind that. There is, because it's the sexual, the act of sex is not just an isolated act. Right? There's a lot which goes beyond before, after, you know, it is an act of intimacy, it's culminating in sex.  How is your honoring of each other? So it's all of that. It depends on all of that. Right? So, so it cannot be an isolated thing.  And then obviously, you know, they, maybe there is refusal. And then people come to that place saying, okay, I'm not satisfied. Maybe not satisfied in marriage.  There is no reason that is not an argument. That's not a reason to go looking for sexual fulfillment in any other. Right? So being faithful, being committed, honoring the covenant means that you find sexual fulfillment in your spouse. So if there is a problem, if there is an issue, then you look and you see, you know, there is some other reason, and that needs to be sorted, that needs to be discussed, talked about, because sex cannot happen in isolation. Okay. So that's the thing.  Okay, then the other thing, you know, which is even more prevalent now is that pornography and, you know, other means other sexual content, content, which is there on the internet, which is there, you know, on the media.  That's the lie. So some people buy into that.  No, it'll just take you into bondage. It's going to create more distance, emotional distance between you and your spouse. So that is again, a lie.   Sometimes it's not just, it's not just these, you know, pornography or anything, but it's just there in your mind. Right? There is a fantasy and sexual fantasies and so on fantasizing about this person and that person and the other. So refuse all that, you know, people might say, okay, it's just in my mind. Right? It's not having a physical relationship with just my mind. Now that, what happens in the mind, we know, you know, Romans 12 talks about that, that, you know, there is transformation only if there's renewing of the mind. So whatever's going on in the mind is, is going to, you know, there's an outworking of it in the physical realm within your choices, your behavior and everything. So you cannot change that outworking of behavior and choices, unless our mind is renewed to the truth.  This is honoring God and spouse with your body. So the thing is this that that you make a very, you know, it's a hard or, you know, eternal decision, I would say, that you decide saying, Okay, this is it. And I'm married to this person.  Sometimes you need to tell yourself that this is the only person. So you're going to refuse all other invitations, you're going to refuse any other substitutes, right? You will refuse all that. And, and that's honoring God and that actually honors God.  And many times, you know, what happens is, what if my spouse is, what if my spouse is unfaithful? You know, so therefore, if my spouse is unfaithful, or was unfaithful, therefore, I can, it gives me permission to do this, you know, I have the moral right to do this. You know, it isn't for me, it is, it is my way of getting revenge. It is my way of, you know, it doesn't, it doesn't help solve the things. It does in fact, it worsens everything. So that is not the solution, right? Even in the phase of unfaithfulness, you choose to do what is right, right? In marriage, you choose to do, what is the right thing? What is God honoring?  You do the right thing, right? Okay, we'll take a break. And we'll come back in 10 minutes. Okay, thank you.