How are you? Tuanze na Salamu kwaanza Ladies first, how are you? You look splendid Kwa ni mili yambia na ma guest water wa in the morning lewam shayin Siya tami mi mi mi gini yambia me mo What's your good name? Mi name is Mary Auma I'm a teacher, pure teacher I teach classics Soile, SIARE, social studies So you knew barako wa ni mask kablasi situ kujuku juwa? Mi mili juwa na COVID-19 Welcome Thank you Good morning sir Good morning How are you? I'm fine What is your good name? My name is Matthew Aornyan I'm a lawyer I'm a policy student Finally at Kenyatta University I'm also an administrator By nature Oh, I see that Ya, what's up? Admin Admin? Okay, I see you What I want us to do is We're going to go through a couple of things That we've seen on social media But what you don't know Fun fact is this topic was generated Because of this gentleman here On the set today And he's going to give us a bit of his story As we chip in And see what's happening And maybe even give our two cents If it was us Mi na jingi kwa mi mi singi Kwa mi mi jari bui bovi ote Just know Okay, so tell us about your story What happened? Why are we talking about giving up today Or not giving up? Ya, giving up is not in my vocabulary Because my story is just about determination And perseverance So I am Mr. Passaviarets Well, well Ya So it happened that I sat for KCP nine times In different primary school In different years Because of lack of heat I started doing KCP I came when I was 13 Then completing when I was in I came when I was 13 And completing when I was 27 In a period of 14 good years What? Eh, ati? Just come again Let me repeat I sat for KCP nine times In different primary school In different years Because of lack of heat And completing when I was in 27 And in a period of 14 good years Joining from one at 28 years And we talk to me How are you feeling about the story? It's very sad Eh, what? Wait, ati? Have you had that story? Okay, let's just highlight Key words Allianzakus I'm even lost for words Okay, let's try English He started sitting for KCP At 13 years old 14 years later Even one more than when he started Apondya limalizia How did you find even the courage? I love to eat on yato When you do something a little bit out of the ordinary People will talk They'll come for you They'll say wo na wu yusas Kusama yae Pasua na smokimi mi personally Fiyu asmi But that's not what you did and why? My determination Sorry, let's use the mic The determination I had To accomplish the eight purposes At least to have something in hand To be able to give back to the community And uplift my background Since I was coming from Very poor background So I happened to be introduced to manual work When I was Casual work Casual labor When I was in class 3 So at class 3 you can know the age Minus repeating anything So I started doing manual work In Bomets So now I speak two languages I speak the language I speak Kepseges fluently So you are this official one Like Kiswendi and English So My determination here We worked out in life Living in some Grasta house A family of 13 I was the ninth born And introduced to Casual labor at class 3 So that one Cited me a lot Elini Saiki and I'm quite sure you became very responsible At a very young age Ima cha I told you I'm an administrator I can see Aki Let me ask you to cha And maybe if we are just going to derive From his story How do you feel Teaching someone We told the kawida to We told this child One plus one is two A kind of home A kind of treasure One plus one is now five How do you find the patience To keep explaining to someone One thing That patience Ima kwaangangumi It's very hard Keep on repeating One plus one is two Ima say ma one plus one is two Keep on repeating I don't feel like You're going to give up But it's on your hands It's on your hands If we ask anyone to share I can give up If you want to share I can give up But you can't It doesn't matter If you don't hand it to anyone I can give up I feel like it's on our hands I need to teach them I need to teach them If we want to give up It's next year But to go and give up heный mokinii hana ko kw Eliotia yama scorpio hii kidestot uu aki na na mazo niwa a n-arifili tنا in Director Kani biha uu Rila clip 12 ala hatabumizu haוכumizi hanyi yamabudcu na kwa hayu yubado kwa yue niwa barkadi hana m discover niwa barkadi mivinga icatcha denti na, nqia ote smoking But there is someone who is sitting for KCPE 9 times in almost 14 years. How would you speak life into such a child? Like usi give up maybe. Siya tiya tiya, wanim jinga, it's just that circumstances zime kata. But how would you be encouraging him or her? That situation, I've never been in that situation but if kata kwa nukatu kata. Siya naumtoa na me liya joa miha kuka exama. They cannot imagine. And then imagine keeping, maybe that's one, that one subject. Maybe kaka kusweli, maybe na npigachenga. Maybe kusweli I'm always the last, always the last, always the last. But na jaribu jama, na jaribu. So how would you talk to someone about that? Be just teaching them. Nga humya tu ilayu fi na midi tumwe liye liye liye liye tu. Bona ni indelie kama na pratuma zero sufuri. Sosa demu kuka ribu naiae umuwa chili. Nkushin na tu naiae unamaungi eleisha. Then na tu ona ticha na sema, the right thing. Hocha tu ni indelie wajitisha na sema. And na ona, mi ticha increging mi alot, let me just follow what she's saying. Na ona. So for me, I'm teaching what to do in Gato and you understand Gato vilea ko. Ako na munyata ia raku baliku ribit Kwa sema fadalata nende nihuze Adha fudu sayu kuna izi gengeton Kiki na umtemi develop talent Tata wale hawa yuki imba Ana sema tu Now I can see Now I can see Na umtru from 4 Class 4 Ana joku imba dosi gengeton So yuki twitam Discaja seme Ani ambe na meneza imba po gengeton Nini pate tu Nini pate Nini pate Nani nge lake Youtube nipate lake So yuki tunao They feel lake We're working here at Youtube Waterpate lake, sopate peza So ata ona ah Mister ki kusiki za iticha So ni hard You have to talk to them Talk you talk You talk some sins to them It's very hard Kabisa But you'd try There's mwo o niga lisha Is there someone who encouraged you When you were sitting for KACP Nine Times Kunamtu alikushi kama kona kame Iba posi give up Yes Yes, I used to read a story like this of Reverend Koske who started class one at the age of 20 years old, the father to Amy Koske. Also besides that also the teachers, the primary teachers they are loving, I can say that they have that kind of relationship of which they advise you that gentleman you have a brain, you can do better than us, so don't give up. God will open the doors for you. So most of the time, most of my friends used to be the primary teachers, my teachers actually because the friends, my friends were fading away. You have passed, you have been admitted to a national school, you have not attended that national school, they go find other friends somewhere, you are left alone. So I was going to those people who encouraged me.  So here you are, working very hard trying your best to pass this KCSE and continue with your life. Aya, forces, outside forces ni maybe challenges apu kwa karo sentio. And then you have members of society also another challenge juo onaku judge na onaku sengenya na onaku cheka. Sasa IOPA li nifanya nifanya KCP kwa suule tafauti tafauti. Yuyakwa nsa li nifanya abomit.  Nini fanya kwa emaeni utafauti, kwa sababu ilia katika ali ya kuchekalia kwa katika jamiada. Oto ona kwa unawe mi kumu na ana kagwa ni nini jinga ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni. So chu avoid that immigration. It was making me to go to a new environment in such a way that when they try to learn about you you have already gone. Confuse your enemies, help me understand. Kwa? I'm teaching class 6. There are some pupils who are not doing work. They are just there. I gave them social study homework. The two didn't do their notorious. So I decided to punish these pupils. Let me take them to class 5. Wow! So they will be working in class 5 for the whole of one week. Wow! And they were like, so I took them to class 5. One day they were there with the class 5 pupils, but I don't know what to say. I don't know if they are going to be in class 5 or if they are going to repeat. I didn't tell them that they are going to be there for one week. No. I said, you will repeat class 5 for not doing my work. I said, you will repeat class 5 for not doing my work. The next day, they were there with the class 5 pupils, but they were not doing their work. So they started working like that. They were very smart. So they started working like that. They were very smart. So they started working like that. They were not doing their work. I felt him. He can't repeat in class 8. Then I was in the same school and I was in class 8. It was very embarrassing. I was in class 7. I said, you will repeat class 5. I said, you will repeat class 5. So I am not just a teacher. I don't understand. I felt that I was going to be down. So I was in class 7. Then I was in class 6. I said, I will be in class 7. I said, you will be in class 7. So I was in class 7. You need to move in another school in a new environment. Why are you supporting yourself when you are in school? All these times you will repeat? Many a times I was supporting myself. Many a times I was supporting myself because I had no one who could support me. I could work Saturday and Sunday. Go do kashual work or go do nijengo. Then when I go back to weekdays, lunchtime, I go to sugar plantation. I take sugar pen. Evening I can take one donut and strong tea. Because by then nijengo was 100 per day. So you get 200 for the whole one week. You are also using this to buy exercise book or a pen. What were you telling God? Let me just tell you this. Once life slapped me, I had things to tell the most high. I had things. What were you telling God? I can say that gospel music also inspired me. And you still stayed faithful to your faith? Yes, gospel music because I used to listen to Mariateno numbers. It is inspiring because it was also reducing stress and depression. I just got to my workman. I put that cassette. I listened. Then I said tears. I refreshed myself. I go back to class. I study. I used to be the best because as early as 2000 I was in Kanga High School for one month. I dropped in 2002 because no one akuna manja hali ni support nipo karu. After that, kafanya KACP 22, 23, 24, I went to Mariateno school with 434 months. 25, I was in Mariateno school and 26. That was impressive. I dropped again. 27, I walk around. I move around. I was doing, I was staying in those side of my mother. I was staying in Madari. Madari Bane, Adar, Ajip. Those side. Sometime I went and stayed with my cousin in Dandora. So I could move right from Tembea to kufanya Mijengo Industrial Area. So I went to Kufanya Mijengo and I went to Mzito. I went to Pelaika to see what was going on. I went to Enzakom and I was already there. I went to University and went to pursue medicine and I went to Kusawa. So I went to Pana and went to Rudi Shulia. I went to Rudi Agorosa. I went to Maranda, Sikwena. In 2010, I went to Maranda, Sikwena. In 2011, I went to Nairobi school. It was just a luck. Wings to fly. So I went to Kufanya Mijengo. So I went to Wings to fly. So I went to Pelaika. So I went to Pana and I saw who was the student. So I went to Pana and I saw who was the student. So I went to Pana and I said I am the student. So I narrated all my stories. I said, I will follow your story. I went through a lot. So I went to Moro. I went to Nairobi school. I went to Pachu. I went to the tribuna. I went to Fanya. I went to Soma. I went to Umelea. I went to Uko Pia. I went to the BOM teachers. I went to Waya.  Junior? And some of them couldn't understand why you were in that case. And they could treat you abnormally. Ignorance is a terrible thing. Ineza fanyamu tukiyana tukiyuwe. Wei is tori na ninguza maali. Guys, I have goosebumps. I don't know if the camera can show you. But I have goosebumps. And I am feeling like a lot of times also comparison is the thief of joy. Wei ngejiye mbe wukai ufkirea watu wote wanyem lianza naaw maali wako sayi na maali wei wukos. Wei ngejiye mbe atu amani tulietu. Amani relaxedu. Have you ever had a situation where you compared yourself or as a teacher you've seen someone comparing themselves with someone else. Na nachokatu immediately. Because our seasons are different. Maali mefkana kumoka nawe maali mefkana kumoka ya ko. It's very different. There's nothing we can do about it. So give me an instance of comparison. And let me start by giving you social media. Kumge kwa na ma Facebook na Instagram is of this. Is on this kuna hard time. Hard time, hard time. Wei. You see now technology has made it so easy to connect with people. Because kenya teka po, si kenya ina ndelene. They'll only put happy moments, happy instances. Kiki tu poimefa nika. Miss Johnna post is a kuleya. Oh my gosh, this has happened, this and this and this. So maybe we stop comparing. How did you stop comparing? How did you not compare? We ran miracle bro. According to cancelling you should not compare yourself with another person. You went through cancelling? No, I didn't went through cancelling, but now I know. You don't have to compare yourself with another person. Because you are unique in your own. Me, I am unique, I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I am mature. If I compare myself with a certain person who is lucky when you read the prayers of Jabez in the Bible. I love that prayer. The prayers of Jabez. Jabez went through difficulties because he was born in pain. Jabez means pain. So because he prayed to God to expand his territory. So it was encouraging me to see that wu ni jamlori mimi. In future, I will establish my own family. Mutu, let's say, unakujakuni temple. Una say ma naenda kwa jamlori. Si naenda kwa brother ni jamlori mimi. So I was saying that this is my problem. This is the problem. So nijukumulangu nio nebili na tatoa hiki tu. Watu wa mefanya na e mtiyani wa mehenda. Because their parents are working or their relatives are rei. Io ni jamu njakadizao. Wakati wangu piya utafika na nita fawu ni. Had that encouragement. Siku taka ni compare myself with other person. Because the moment I start comparing myself with another person I get depressed. I get stressed. I get mental problem.  I kept off checking my friend who ran away from me. Because I was unable to get scholarship or to get somebody to sponsor me or to pay for me school fee in time. Even now, there are those who have been laid off because of COVID. There are those who are working and there are managers in big hotels big restaurants and they are doing well and now they can even sell out their fees to get something to eat. So at their point of time, God will rescue those people. Don't compare yourself with another person. Just look for something you can do and trust in God. Utabari kiawa. Now, later on, when they outsmile usi jaribu kuonam gina at the air nini, nini, nini. Once they could embrace, once they could think about suicide. No, you are very special. Very special. In front of God. God has his timing. At their point of time you will get delivered. I don't understand. I don't understand where your faith is coming from. It makes no sense. It makes no sense that someone has spent 14 years trying to finish KCPE. It makes no sense that that person is all encouraging you right now. Nia ku choka, nia ku give up. It makes absolutely no sense. Mi niki kumbeve tu nimi give up just this morning alone. Ataw na zani. Just, siji yenda jana. This morning niki amkani nushkwansha give up kitu ngi nia po. But look at him. Look at him. Let's just discuss this faith. Let's discuss this faith. And let's talk about sanasana kenyumese maa apokwa suicidal thoughts. It's very easy to want to take away your own life because your purpose is not happening. Maybe it's not even meant to be. Ataw na choka and all those things. Ibu, help me. Just talk kido goju. Because akuna mtu akuna spirit kameyo yako. Muso una repeat, keep on repeating akuna. For example, even you can see in life someone had scored a 360 and he didn't expect that. He wanted 400 marks. What next? He'll commit suicide single. I mean, that's determination. That's perseverance. Akuna mtu akuna yo. One house nani wa chacha. Kupata mtu, all those pain. Even me, I can't. I just didn't know what to do. Me na kuna. Ya ni misu jitu kupe leke wa api ake. How? Science dictates that if I have had it a bit easier in my primary school, because I sat for KCTV once. I should be now the one telling people not to give up. Not the one who's had such hard life. How did you feel when you actually finished and got admitted and finally finished school? Tell me that feeling. How are you feeling? I'm telling you, in fact first of all I used to avoid taking IED because you know the minister Professor Sam Munkeri introduced that you have to use bad certificate while registering. So you know by taking my IED it shows that I used to change some, change hedge whatever when I'm registering because to avoid struggling, friction with the ministry policy. So the day I was taken by Ikpiti, let's say during that panel I was given 2000 to go use for lunch. And the following day I used that money to rush to my home to apply for National IED. I was very excited. I feel this is a blessing from God. It was a blessing. I was and when I went to Nairobi school luckily enough it seemed that somebody who had informed the principal Mr. T. Robb and I was when I just joined there being admitted many teachers came and greeted me. And they were saying how am I going to tell them I'm here and I'm just reporting to Fomuna. Already the information was in Nairobi school where I was being admitted. And I felt at home. I was attached to getting a counseling teacher and most of them are mothers.  So they were close monitoring between me, performance and my psychological stability of my psychological my psychology. Talk to me one woman, mother and son they were calling me my son. I lacked that kind of love in my life because I was left, I told you I started doing at class 3 and I was left in those in Driftival when I was in class 4. So I started staying alone right when I was in class 4 to death alone where one time I used to I spent in someone's bathroom. I reside in someone's bathroom. I'm going doing mujango coming back with my clothes in polythene pack spreading some of them sleeping. Very early in the morning I move out, move to the site wait for mujango time to reach to do mujango. And you still had that chance to continue with your KCPC By then I was still struggling with KCPC to get scholarship. So I'm saying no, don't give up in life, be determined persevere, trust in God at the appointed time God will reward you, abundance. A kuna temu le kai wuka jambia maybe education is not for me maybe I can be a business person maybe I can do other ventures Did you ever sit and say maybe education is not that important? No, because I started doing KCPC in 1998 my first thing. I struggled, I went to Kanga and I did also in 99 I was admitted to Kanga high school I went to Kanga high school and I dropped So by then the people who were in 1998 while me dropping which means they did KCPC in 2002 and that is when I dropped in 2001 So I could not drop because the people who joined artisan job like mujango started doing their life some of them were already married and I have struggled and I have the brain and that person was already carrying on his life because they had no hard to go to proceed with education you see I will be a psychology candidate because I have said I want this education and I have faith that let me get this education because when I was in 1998 because I understood I was gettingШinDwa and I am already Shindwa but now I am getting Sentwa so my experience is getting Sastaro and no one knows about me all this national school I was being at that is one time I told one of my relative He was well loved. Kindly. So ni saidiye unili pietu hii fongo. Alafu, the time, awa totu wakubadu ni wa dogo wakifika hii mi, atami futa saidiya ni. Hakuna manya ni kuba ni kusia. These are saying that's been going around. Nothing is going to happen to those people who did not help you. Don't be bitter. You see there he's very calm. No, I'm telling them because we want to imagine kusia saidiya atachomega. They won't succeed in life. They'll fail. They'll sleep hungry. Nothing is going to happen to those people who do not support you. Not now, not tomorrow, not next week. Nothing is going to happen to them. And your peace is fantastic. And maybe if I ask you, is it okay to ask for help? Is it okay because when we want to give up and we feel like we're so close but so far away, is it okay to ask for help because he asks for help? Do you think it's okay? Yeah, it's okay to ask for help. Yeah, sometimes in life you feel like I want to give up. For me this time I felt like I want to give up. Then I decided no. I need to ask for help. When you ask someone for help, there's something that they're not even money, leave alone money. The words, there's something they will tell you. Maybe if, for example, someone was going to give up, they've heard from history. That's help. I don't think they will give up. Because history is touching. What are you going to do with this education? Now you're at university level. What are you studying? I'm doing battle of public policy and administration. Why that in particular? I already know you're administrator. But why that in particular? You see, in Kenya, in most of the ministry, they are doing bad because of poor policy. When you do good policy in education, there's no child who will lack fee in the village. When you do good, policy is dealing with problem. When you do policy with Kenya power, they will start realizing the profit, not negative, the one I'm seeing. When you do good policy in the ministry of health, there will be no fake, tender, awarding. We have a project called Adam, but 12 million has been used on towels. You see, when you do good policy, everything will be management. So I went for policy because my life was composed of a lot of challenges and problems. So I wanted to solve problems with the society. Yes. I'm having a difficult time trying to... Hey. Histories overwhelming me a little bit, but I also kind of want to translate it to you, to your situation, to whatever kind of circumstance that you're in, if you're about to give up. Even if it's not as serious as what we're discussing today, I don't think giving up is... When someone decides to give up, let me use it as a question. When someone decides to give up, what do you think is going through their mind? Like suicide. What they want is to kill themselves. Mostly that's what's happening. When someone has decided, no, I'm not going to do this anymore. This is my end. The next thing is there. They're going to kill themselves. And I have this understanding that mental health is very important, and I'm really glad that you've known about mental health for a very long time. Mental health derives you who and all these things. And just the other day we were celebrating Suicide Prevention Day. How do you... When you call yourself for waiting, let the people come. Let's talk. Why are you waking up in the morning? Why are you working so hard for this call? Is this call better? Should we change goals altogether? How do you speak to yourself? Because the person you spend the most time with is yourself. So what did you tell yourself during this journey, this 14, 15-year journey? First of all, I wanted to change the narrative because most of our health and siblings they never stepped in high school. So it was the top of the village, you see. So I wanted to change that narrative. So I was speaking to myself that one time the society will know that from nothing there is something, faith manifests.  So one time, or sooner, I'll be supporting the religious student. Wow, look at you. I'm working to start a process when we will be launching it. It is concerning education fund and incubation. So I think this one also I will be giving back to the society. You see. But to yani my whatever, my tag, I don't want anybody to go through what I went through. To go through what I went through. It was very terrible. I faced a lot of humiliation. I was abused. I was accused of doing this and this falsely because I am poor. I was done so many bad things. I was I was profiled because of age, because of poverty. I don't have good uniform. I don't have good clothing to maintain myself. My friend ran away from me because I had nothing to offer. I am repeating people are running going forward except I have stagnated in one direction protecting in my own haksis. So what are you saying that ah no, I will change this narrative and I have changed. I have one exam around me. Look at you. So because I have graduated this year just because of corona now I am just waiting upon the Lord for that time to come and I hope it will come soon. Not even COVID-19 can stop you again. Yes it can because I have been through a lot. This COVID-19 was just from much to this time. I like that. Teenies. You always got my hope.  Imagine if he was a girl. Imagine if he was a girl. Imagine if he was a girl. Repeating. So he was a girl. Imagine if he was a girl. Imagine if he was a girl. All those challenges. A girl just kept it here. Alright. So one more time I will tell you what is going on. I will ask a question which I think is the root is the root of all these giving up things or thinking about committing suicide or having suicidal thoughts is finding your purpose. Where are you? Like you found your purpose. That is a gift that not many people have. I have also quite struggled finding your purpose. How do you start finding your purpose and how do you know that you found it? Because once you find it on a journey for you you know that's why you put on this here. Where are you going? Why are you running? How do you look for your purpose? Alright. Have a meeting. You may behave out to toi you may ask and you may say let's just look at each other you may say you will do everything not answer the question Maybe we can start with you. Having your purpose My story was different with these other people I know there are some people and I have seen some of my friends even committed suicide I want one thing I want to say one thing for you Think of that needy person in the street begging for food You were not begging for food God has blessed you you have gone to school or you have some skill somewhere you can do something God will manifest that one and it will expand that one Never give up Don't think of suicide Your life is very precious Publically we should live 70 plus years Your life is very precious There is no condition which is permanent The bigger the challenge the bigger the blessing When you are challenged by being laid off you will be the manager of that person who will sell you away from the world Establish something to do have something to do because God is blessing what is in your heart This is what we really call to say that God helps those who help themselves No, I am not for that What I know, try and do something in your heart God will manifest that one and it will be a blessing to somebody It will be a blessing to a weed It will be a blessing to a orphan It will be a blessing to a gentleman and he has just been laid off because of corona So have that courage and God will lead you up And don't isolate yourself I mean talk with people talk share your problems and find the help A problem a problem shared is a problem actually share your problem mental illness mental stress depression when you share your problem and two also soft gospel music in your mind and it will encourage you that is a breaker it is a canceler and it was a canceler to be I have a testimony and I can attest that if not for gospel music soft gospel music I would have given that long time Alright so if I may just read a couple more of your thoughts from our facebook page that's at 254 facebook but also again at 254 channel on twitter the hashtag is one the morning we have a Ritchie WCB Amenita to Valentine Yes Ritchie good morning and we have Janet good morning Janet relationships you mess with me you have to be patient with what you see or hear please not today we have not talked about relationships boy girl relationship it was part of the question yes but I think we had a bit more a heavy thing to discuss Alice Winders says Alice from radio one should not give up you should try many many times for instance prayers you can pray for years even if you see god is not answering excuse me god is wanting wanting to see your faith and also the best time to give you what you pray for for years also or giving up means losing we have Ryder county is watching and we have another message that came to me private imagine giving back to a society which didn't give you but denied you this is the meaning of selflessness I wish there was a good book ah nini world book of Guinness records I am doing a book documentaries of my life I am writing a books and I think I will launch it soon I will launch it soon I am so happy about my life I am so happy this story has a happy ending I am really really glad and I am only I am guessing I don't know I am guessing it has a happy ending because you waited you persevered although again I don't see myself doing all that but I hope we can manage only what you can manage so maybe in conclusion tell us what you think about giving up or encouraging someone who will give up a line of your COVID-19 is doing what or maybe you lost a loved one or maybe it's just hard to live a day at a time please encourage someone okay when you want to give up okay what I can just say remember where you've come from always remember where you started you started with this one now you are here you don't have job in the past you had that job remember where you came from when you always want to give up remember your background that's what I can say always remember your background and how would you put it in summation in summary why should they not give up even when it looks like they probably should what I can tell somebody is that you are a blessing to yourself you are fearfully and wonderfully made God has a good plans for everybody at their point of time that time will come and it will be accomplished you will be a blessing to society don't give up pray, work hard and God will bless I always say that God do bless what you are you cannot keep on waiting for manas not heaven but try doing something I was repeating try doing something that was what I had and God lifted me through that way when you do something God will lift you up when you sit down and start being depressed the certain will steal you we love you, we don't want you to be stolen we want you to excel we want you to be a blessing to the society we want you to be a blessing to that to that weed to that old person who has no one to support we don't give up be a blessing to the society do something and God will manifest in that I hope you felt that anointing I really hope you felt it Babayasir good morning how are you doing it is good to have you on the show at 354 Facebook, 244 channel on Twitter hashtag is wide the morning kutza give up akisi na na get after wisdom we need you around and be nice to yourself be kind to yourself there are people who will not be kind to you for free, you might as well be nice to yourself we'll see you when you see us or in case we see you first I don't know what I said but what you should remember is at 2pm we have a repeat of the show in case you missed an interview or you just wanted a kapat you can go to atwifi4 channel on YouTube again it has been amazing it is all the way Monday through Friday so we have sauce for you today tomorrow the next we are just full of surprises you have yourself a fantastic day bye


Good morning. I'm going to set up the dress form for the Isabella McTavish Rose Your Wedding dress and I'm going to do it here in my rooms at the historic Colonial Williamsburg and it will just be kind of fun to have an opportunity to set up in a quite lovely setting and capture it on film. The reason I've brought my own dress form all this way and gone to a great deal of them. Oh, uncertainty and indecision and pernickliness about finding a suitable suitcase to pack a dress form in. It's because this dress form has been cut down and then padded up each in judicious areas for the historical silhouette for 18th century so that then the stays that have been made to fit Georgia Gough the model who we made the dress on and it fits her perfectly. We basically create that foundation for the dress to look to look right and hang right and fit right in the bodice before display and I'm here in America with several talks where the dress is on display and talked about and a bit of a dressing demonstration in some cases as I did the other night so impromptu at the Keeler Tavern Museum in Connecticut. So having a dress form I'm familiar with and know exactly what its shape and size is nothing really is quite the same as a custom fit and it's the same with the clothing. Another factor is actually set up time when you're traveling if you arrive at some place that you've only got half an hour or well I was very very lucky the other night at Keeler Tavern Museum where I arrived and actually had about three hours to settle in, get set up, get changed, have a bite to eat, sit down with a cup of tea, chat with my hostesses. Set up time is a key feature and when I travel to museums to speak sometimes I have very little time to set up and being familiar with the dress form, yes a museum can often provide a dress form that's already assembled but getting a good fit on a dress form body that hasn't already been shaped takes some time and another factor is that you have to put the stays on onto the dress form and these stays are fortunately they're just back lacing but lacing stays takes time to get them on, get them situated, get them fitted and then to lace them up. Perhaps have a little bit less freedom in how to do that than you would on a human body because human body changes every day and yes you do things a little differently each time whereas the dress form is what it is and you've got to get it so that the dress form fits properly and the dress and is laced up tightly enough so that then the dress will sit smoothly around it.  Now as on a human body it appears that this is actually loosened up a little bit and could be. The undress form is the width of the shoulders so I get them up there as there's my hands as the gown is going to stay put and I use some headed pins. There's probably not very kind or long-term fabric of the dress but in essence to be absolutely honest for a few minutes until I get the rest done the gown is hanging on the back by those pins and the excess the back panel it doesn't stick out a little bit now. To finish this dress then the weight will be more evenly distributed and actually the weight will sit on mostly on top of the bum pad which is a skirt support and that's exactly what it's designed to help do is support the weight of the gown and once that happens then generally the back of the shoulders kind of rise up and sit much more lightly over the dress form and so that the whole gown is not in fact hanging from the top but it is being supported a bit more evenly through the waist but until that all happens it is true that quite a lot of weight try to do what gravity does and fall to the ground right. I've got a mixture of pins here I use silk pins that were the red head so they don't show much okay the shift sleeves just to eliminate so they're not adding bulk now are we losing light are we okay so this gown quite crucially does have lacing strips to take pressure off the fabric front otherwise that again that front edge would be taking a lot of kind of weight of holding down onto the body. Being quite insensitive so pressing onto her body should be pulling the ending in first with press to pull this lace touch you must have been quite shocked when I first did that and then I felt like doing that to a human being is something she took away. Actually because I tightened the lace at the stays the lacing in the back just a bit I've actually got just a little bit more overlap of the tension over that the front edges of the gown which often to be honest it's a pretty close call as to whether that's going to meet since we have there but for the sake of demonstration and talks I think sometimes I'm going to just leave that rest in it looks like it's all put in the fastened unless you get up close and you realize no one is left loose because I do want to be able to reference the lacing. Now usually towards the end of the talk we're doing the Q&A session Q&A session people ask what I think that how does it close how does it stay on I would like if I wanted to put this to you. This is where I'm going to work and a bit of cut scene if you're not back and forth. I do like to be able to show the oddest fronts with a cut on the straight of the brain it does require keeping this tight and set up and down up and down it'd be very very tempting for a smooth fit with power because you'd have a lost little girth there on the dress board quite a few days to get smooth that I've overlapped more but then you preset creating more of a diagonal and it doesn't really I don't think honour the original dress and it's striking appearance of the set. So there we have it, here's the final touch.


YouTube are closing in on the Super Bowl remind me let me know who you guys got Eagles 41 33 if you know you know easy claps Jalen Hertz MVP for total touchdowns Honestly, the way to be hitting on Hertz I hope he passes for like 120 yards rushes for 50 but gets Super Bowl MVP with four touchdowns So they can spend the rest of the summer hating on Hertz like they have been Been grinding man boys every night on the twitch streams you guys know the link check in let me know You're from YouTube you guys have been farming these videos. I'll show you my team I don't I mean I've been kind of rocking similar team. There's been a patch. Have I noticed anything about it? Not really but the thing with the patches mentally makes you say, oh, let me try to play some new way Let me make the game fresher. Let's make it different. Let's try a new defense something like that So in my mind, that's what I try to do sometimes, you know And it kind of refreshes gives me a new energy to try a new defense or a new offense something like that But so far I haven't noticed too much. I'm not the nerd that tests things and laps things I just get in the game rock and roll rip it and drip it. That's what we do boys. So let's show you the team Here it is We got Tom Brady, of course, we got the new De'Andre Hopkins We're using route tech on him with a red zone threat I have a bunch of red zone threats now so I can score inside the 10 for real That's I do feel like it's not it's not automatic like it used to be I feel like it's a little weak, but we're still gonna have it Drake London short in Red zone threat as well buyers with that goal line back. The reason I like buyers is because he's so tall But he also plays for the Eagle steam team. So it's a kid knocks down two birds with one stone We have the Edelman card playmaker is really good I really like it so far for one AP to get short end and playmaker I think he's an absolute stud. He's been killing it for me as you see right here with legends chem He has 97 speed. He's not the tallest, but man this dude gets open for sure He has the juke move to spin move. He has the good carrion route running is ridiculous And you know the Tom Brady to Edelman connection is I mean they should really make I know we have theme teams But Edelman and Brady she like a boost that they're on the same team kind of like they used to have I don't know what to say duos, but they used to have even the the old Comic book cards. What were they mutt not mutt masters with the comic book cards You guys know in the chat you guys can tell me what were the comic book cards that do owed up and boosted you up We're super dope. That was that was a good thing But people like Brady and Edelman should be boosted up dynamic duos the heroes. Yeah Alright, then we got Rivas. We got Ward. We got Cromarty. We got Harrison I went and got Rivas cuz I mean I still like to play man coverage But I do like I think this combo is going to be more of what I'm looking for going forward the short route Knockout and the deep route knockout. I know I've been messing a lot medium and deep But I feel like a lot of people are starting to run bench Slants drags getting a little bit of yard, especially if you're bringing a lot of pressure So I want to try mixing in a little more short knockouts. So Rivas is the one card I think Denzel Ward that new one could almost replace Cromarty at some point, but we'll see I'm just throwing things out there I still have the milk man the milk man's a beast. I will tell you this right now This dude is a monster. He really is I use his X factor Which blink starts blinking and he starts shedding crazy this card is tough So that's the squad. That's what I'm rocking man. Let's check out these games. They're definitely dope every single night on Twitch Let me know you from YouTube will throw you a sub show you some love watch these games live They're just as good live, but if you miss them, you're always here. That's why I've been farming boys So check out this game Hit man How do I have a guy that?  That's kind of far right there. That's kind of foul Hey, bro, you got folks invited into the party and knowing me like I'm the celebrity Oh We're cracked right now I'm here. I'm here. I'm on that.    I'm gonna make you waste time today. That was a terrible time out I'm gonna make you waste time today. Dummy Lessons in life is when you get your No, so that people are gonna Crazy straight RNG They're in containers. I got a shot here boys. Yes, we got a shot. They block that We got a shot. Hey, no way, bro. I just watched you get toasted. Wow. I ain't as good as I thought I would. I should have just kneeled. I should have just kneeled. Yeah.  Hey, I'm playing safe tonight. Hey, I'll play real safe.  I can't control that. How you doing that? Juke's so fast. Nah, go for it. If you do something to do something, baby, you ain't bought it. We gonna press it.  Like how am I 10 yards ahead of that dude and get the worst?  What? I told you, they were all naked. Like what the hell? They were all wide open. Like what the like so he just got caught. So does he caught the ball? Like what? Here's why it opened.  Still warming their face with that. First of all, I didn't get the kind of man aligned. Oh, man, that's that's the problem. Yeah, thanks. Cover for baseline. He's still not mad at all. You gotta give me an e-book for free. I'm about to get a real surgical in this one. I want to make sure I run out of time. What? I'm doing a lot of nothing. Come for a drop. Hey, put in your back up running back. If you really bought it, you can really win. Put in your back up running back too.  T-bow? T-bow? Three point. If I get three points, let me get a free e-book, bro. My e-mail is B-I-G-R. That's what you're doing to me right now.  It's also not e-mail. They scream it. Stop it. Dudley, stop it. T-bow four for four for four? T-bow four for four? I can't lie. T-bow came in to give some energy, boys. Oh my god. Fumble, fumble. Ain't no way. Zero on me, hell. More than Earl. More than Earl. More than Earl.  He'd be a great player for bot wars, big rock. Hey, good game, Dudley. This is the first time I actually sat through a whole ass-whipping like this. I usually quit, but you're different, and I'll switch. I told you, bam a-fuck with us. Yo, bam a-fuck with us, bro. Thank you, man. You did a lot of work for that one, bro. Let's go. Let's go. Yeah, I know. I'm-I'm using Julia and him in the whole way. Yo, I'm here. What you doing? We got pressure. Say, bro. Say, bro. Don't murder Dudley. Big rock hates Dudley, but wants the evil. Big rock. Oh yeah, he got it. Hey, face mask. Face mask. Thank you. Oh, I doubted him. I just had information.  Three for 18, 61 yards. I got more interceptions and completion.  Man, good game, dawg. Good game. This is a glamorous ass-whipping. Fergie hit it for me. Glamorous. Glamorous. Glamorous ass-whipping. If you ain't got no double juice. Oh, look at this guy. He went to math class. I should- Yo, he did. Not me this time. Who is it? I'm glad I got the- The three was big. The three was big.  Nope. He's due for a pick. Like, he's- somebody was randomly going to just like- He lowkey died. It was just two streaks and two slacks. I gotta get a beer or go. You fall in love. That would have ended the game if I accepted that penalty. Son of me, but what if I like- Do I like got a charity? Do I like charity?


I bobi. Thank you. I'm conscious that this is your evening. So, I will hopefully make it useful. It feels slightly strange being this side of a lecture theatre, which I hope you'll forgive me for. I have told you a little bit more about me, but, when I was thinking about what I was going to say, I was thinking about what I could talk to you about ages and ages and things. ac rydych yn dal ar ddanoon hefyd. Felly, rwy'n meddwl amllunio i teimlo, i'r flodol yn gyfleiaid, dwi'n meddwl ychydig yn ôl'r gweinol i mor ychydig i mi wedi bod yn gweithio. Rwy'n meddwl am ydydd wedi gynnig… Nid yw'r maen o'r peth fydd, ond gweithdd ymweld o gweithbbydd ac rwy'n meddwl am gyflwng y gwirionedd ac yn y peth, ac mae'n meddwl am fymlwyr nad yw'r peth gennym gweithbwyll fryny, I will hopefully tell you some truths that you might not hear elsewhere, so feel free to ask me and if I feel slightly embarrassed about anything else, I'll tell you. So, what I thought I'd do was tell you a little bit about me and then talk a little bit about stress, because that's kind of a big thing, which I guess some of you will be experiencing already, and where it comes from, and how we can understand it a little bit better, how we can manage ourselves a little bit better. And of course I might talk to you a little bit about the Mindful Business Charter, which we have mentioned, which is an initiative in the legal profession, which is trying to do something about mental health in the profession, if that makes sense. And we'll put some context around and stuff like that, but as I say, if you want to, I mean, interrupt me and ask questions and disagree whether, I think you can be very relaxed. So, that's the book that we have mentioned, which is obviously my opportunity to plug me. Are you in the right place? Are you on mental health in the law? No. So, me. I could tell you loads, I won't. A few stories. So, I was, as Rick Hubs said, I was here with cats in 1998 to 1991. I was a really good boy. I have always been a really good boy from a very young age. I learnt to do as I was told. I learnt to work hard. I learnt to keep us from trouble, and there are all sorts of reasons why I did that. But partly that explains why I ended up here, because I've worked really hard. And then, having got here, I got a relatively good degree, got T1, and I joined a firm called Gouldans, which at that stage was a firm a bit like McFarlane's. I don't know if that brings any bells, but it was kind of a medium-sized firm that kind of punched in the other's way. And it was different. It was a very different kind of culture to most of all. And I did pretty well, though. But I'll tell you a story, which I was reminded of today, because somebody was talking about it, but in about six months into my training contract, we caught an article on that day, but six months into my training contract, I was feeling utterly overwhelmed by the amount of work I had to do. I was feeling like I couldn't cope. I was in the office late one evening, in tears, because I was thinking, look, I'll do this. And my boss was completely laid back, bloke, and he wasn't around at that time of the evening, so I couldn't go and talk to him. So I went to talk to him in the next morning, and I went into his room and said, Conrad, I can't cope. And he looked at me and said, OK, tell me everything you've got to do. And I said, I've got all of this to do. And he said, is that it? And I said, no, I've got all of this to do as well. He said, OK, is that it? I said, yeah, I think that's about it. He said, OK, what's the most important of all of that? And I said, well, this is. He said, OK, it's going to be done then. And I went and did it, and I came back and he said, have you done it? And I said, yes. He said, OK, what's next most important? That story is an interesting experience because it's probably the most helpful conversation I ever had in the law firm, that I felt utterly unable to cope with the amount of stuff I had on. I thought, and then with that, you start panicking and thinking, oh my God, I'm a failure and everyone's going to notice. And yeah, I never really was good enough. It's all been a bit tense and whatever. When in reality, most people struggle, most people find it hard. Most people go through times when it's like this is just too much. And part of the problem is that we don't actually mention it. We don't talk about it. We don't feel brave enough to actually say, hang on, I'm finding it a bit difficult right now. And I think that's particularly so when you, for some people at least, and we're all different, but when you make a transition from somewhere like here to a law firm or Paris' chambers or whatever it may be, and you've probably been pretty good at school, that's why you go here, you then work your asses up here to get your degree into there, and then you go and get a job. The idea that suddenly everyone else around you is as clever as everybody here is or cleverer. And nobody's really kind of admitting to finding things difficult or nobody's really admitting to feeling vulnerable or weak or human. It can be really, really hard. And learning to kind of acknowledge that is quite, quite important. A lot of the work we're doing right now is around that kind of stuff. So that was 1993, 1994. Fast forward 17 years or something. And by that stage, I had been a very good boy for a long time, and I was now a father. I had three kids who were at that age, goodness knows how old, they're now 23, 27. I was a partner, which, you know, that's a big job. I was running, I was on the firm's management committee. My next job was going to be running the firm, that was the plan. I had a lovely big house, lovely family obviously, mentioned them. We just bought a house in France, it was going really well. I was one of these people who said yes to everything, so I was on the school governing body, I was this, I was that, I was just doing everything. And anybody who looked at me would have said he's doing fine with me, and everyone would have said he's happy and he's, you know, isn't he doing well. And I probably thought that too. And the, I knew that I was a little bit under pressure. I knew that sometimes I felt a bit stressed, but of course I'm a bit stressed. I've got a big job, haven't I? And I've got three kids and I've got this and that, of course I'm a bit stressed, but it'll be all right, won't it?  And then, kind of early 2011, and this is another one of those conversations that you kind of remember me, that was an interesting conversation. So early 2011, I am being groomed to be the next managing partner, so we're kind of cheap executive over the law firm. And the, and you know, everyone thinks I'm marvelous. And the, they said, why don't you go and see a coach, because a coach will help you kind of develop your management skills and whatever. I thought, fine. So I saw the coach, and he was a lovely bloke. And after a few sessions, so with coaching, you kind of talk to somebody, it's just like a private conversation, really, a couple of hours a week or whatever. And after a few sessions, he said, okay, I think I know you quite well, I think I understand you. And I know your law firm very well too. And I know all the people here pretty well. I can absolutely understand why the law firm wants you to be the next managing partner, completely understand that. What I don't understand is what you want. And I looked at him and said, he said, what do you mean? What do you mean, what do I, I've got a wife, I've got three kids, I've got a mortgage, I've got a pension, I've got this, I've got that, I've got a team, I've got clients, I've got this, I've got responsibilities coming out of my ears. What do you mean, what do I want? And he looked at me in a kind of supportive way that said, I think you might want to think about that. And I realised, I suppose at that point, or sometime after that, that I'd never really stopped to think, what really matters to me. I'd done what people wanted me to do. And I'd done it pretty well. But I'd got to age, whatever that was, what we want, having done what others wanted me to do. And I don't think, I'm not saying that the, that moment was a kind of, that caused me to have a breakdown, it didn't. But it was probably catalytic in terms of my illness becoming apparent. My brain works in kind of images. So if you imagine building a house and you start building, you start with the foundations. And then you kind of, once you've got your foundations done, you then start building up your foundations. And then gradually over time you extend and you redevelop and you do this and you do that. And 20 years later you've got a massive, massive, interdiscipline life sitting there. And then one day somebody comes along and says, you know those foundations, they're not there. And it was a little bit like that, him saying, I just don't know what you want. I don't know why you're doing this. Because none of the things that matter to me, none of the values, none of the sense of purpose that I had would be met at all by being a managing partner. So I went on holiday in the May half-term of 2011 with the families of France. And on the way back we were driving around in Paris-Faurique south of Paris. And suddenly I felt desperately ill. And there were some warning signs but I didn't really notice them. So basically the first thing I knew was we're driving from the most way. And there's lots of fast moving traffic all around us and I'm driving. And suddenly I think I've got to get out of here. So I stopped the car and got out and started walking across lots of lanes of fast moving traffic. Which obviously wasn't very sensible until somebody said, Monsieur, what are you doing? And I said I've got no idea. And I said they took me to the hospital and they did later tests on me. And then said, yeah, we can't find anything wrong with your heart. So go back to England and then go and see your cardiologist in the morning. Because we've all got our own cardiologist in the morning. So I went to see my GP in the morning who said, yeah, I don't think it's your heart. I think it's your head. I think you've had a panic attack. And I had no idea what he was talking about but I soon learnt. And I'd gone, so we were away for a week and I never went back to law after that week. Before we went away I had been somebody who could walk into any kind of office, any building. I had no fear of anything. I could take on any cases. I was managing and I was doing stuff. And then suddenly I was terrified at the door pop. I was terrified at the doorbell. I was literally crying behind the sofa when anybody came to the house. I was a complete wreck. And it happened in a space of a few very short weeks. So I ended up, after not very long trying to cope at home, my family said, we can't manage with you here. So I went to hospital. And again, one of those conversations is quite enlightening. My psychiatrist said, would you like to be admitted to hospital? And I said, well, I don't know about this stuff. And he said, I know it's all about what you want. So I asked him, am I ill enough to be admitted to hospital?  OK, I said, what are they like in there? Because we kind of have these images of psychiatrists who might be like that. And I said, what are they like in there? He said, we're like you. And when I went to hospital, sure enough, they were like me. They weren't other people. They weren't weird. They weren't whatever. They were just people like us. And I think one of the issues around mental health and mental illness is that because we don't talk about it, because we're not talking about it, and we don't talk with our families about it or with our tutors or whatever it may be, we don't know anything about it. And so we kind of hide it away in the cupboard and think it's about other people. And it isn't. It's about people like us. And the people in the primary, where I spent a good month, were just people like us who were struggling to cope at that time. So I spent a bit of time there and spent a long time getting better. And then eventually I thought I need to do some work. Can I swear on it, actually? Can I do that? I thought I can't spend my life pissing about on the sofa. So I decided I needed to do something. And I thought, what I'm going to do is something I'm following lines. I've been an employment lawyer. And so I've been used to dealing with the problems that happen in workplaces. That's what employment lawyers kind of do. And whenever there was a problem in a workplace, I'd always thought, what you need is an employment lawyer. That's the answer to problems in workplaces. So I spent 20 years throwing employment law at problems in workplaces. Now, employment law is important, but it's not if you do. And having been in hospital and then having spent quite a lot of time understanding how this works, I was beginning to think, ah, it's not the reason why things happen. The reason why people do stuff is not because of the law, or because of this. So if we can understand this a little bit more, then we might be able to help understand why things happen in workplaces and we might be able to stop things bad things happening and things like that. So I thought using my experience as a person, as a human being, as an employee, as a manager, as a lawyer, and also using counselling and psychotherapy insight from understanding this a little bit more, I could look at things in the workplace in a slightly different way. A load of different lenses were up on just through a lens of employment law. And before very long, somebody said, you should talk to Burn Dean. So that BG at the top left is Burn Dean. It's who I work for. And we're all basically ex-employment lawyers. You've got tired of dealing with the nonsense that employment lawyers have to deal with. The kind of discrimination body harassment claims and thought wouldn't it be more interesting to try to create cultures in workplaces in which people don't do that stuff, in which people are kind of fairer and more productive. So we do lots of work with all sorts of different kind of organisations around kind of fairer and more productive workplaces. We know what the law is. We know how things can go wrong, but we try to prevent that happening. And we work with lots of law firms and then lots and lots of other sorts of organisations, lots of banks and other financial institutions, lots of insurers, lots of media companies. We work across the UK and internationally and blah blah blah. I was supposed to be in Singapore last week for that court council because of the virus. So we do lots of international stuff. So that's a bit about me. It's easy to think that mental illness runs a bit like this, that you're well, and then you get ill, and then you get better, and then if you're really odd, you write a book about it, and then everything's fine. We all look happy ever after. And that's absolute bollocks. The idea that I've got better and therefore I'm fine for the rest of my life is absolute nonsense. And even though I spend most of my life in rooms not quite as grand or as big as this, but in rooms talking about mental health and talking about trying to make how everybody being more aware of their mental health, I still have problems. And in early this year, after having not slept properly for about six weeks, I had to take a couple of weeks of work because I was just completely blown out. It's better now, but it's something that we all have to manage, I guess. So that's a little bit about me. You can ask me stuff if you want it, or we can do that at the end, and it's still at the end, but if you want to ask me stuff if you do. A little bit of context about law. So I don't know how familiar you are with stats around mental health. That thing on the left is the idea that we all have a state of mental health. We're all on the spectrum. We have good days, bad days. We might be really healthy. Sometimes we might sometimes be feeling a bit rubbish. Another time we might actually be kind of on the left-hand side of that. But the idea that we all have a state of mental health, we're all on the spectrum. And there are lots of stats that say one in four of the adult population in any one year with experience of diagnosis or mental illness. Yes, that's true. And that's really important to remember. The reality is that we all have a state of mental health. The most important stats I think is one in one. We should all be thinking about this. Lawyers are particularly in danger. And I don't say this to scare you, but I say this just to kind of put a bit of context around this and say this is something that lawyers and law firms should be really focused upon. Law Society England and Wales, junior lawyers division, so that's five years post qualification experience and less. So people up to about age 30 or something like that. They do a survey every year. And this was the result from 2019 that just under half of lawyers, solicitors across the profession in the previous month I'd experienced the mental health problem, which is pretty scary. Most of them didn't feel they could talk to their employer about it. A significant number feeling suicidal. And three quarters experiencing disrupted sleep. There is a real, well I'll use the word because I use it when I'm talking to law firms. There is a crisis in the professional and we need to be taking it seriously. I think if this was any other profession, any other industry reporting figures like this, the legal profession would be all over them in terms of shutting them down. The only reason law firms get away with it is they're the lawyers. And it's the same internationally, Australia, the US. I was saying to Brendan, I was speaking at a conference in Seoul in October, which was the International Bar Association, so lawyers more around the world. So it's an issue. Thankfully it is an issue that people are getting to recognise and do something about. So there is some good news, which we'll come onto. Any questions about that? And these stats, this is not other law firms. This is your clip of chances, your soldier of mays, your whatever, the law firms we know. So what's going on? We could do an exercise, by the way. Stress. Who's experienced stress? Yep, it's part of life. We all get it. What does this feel like to be stressed? Give me some words. Everwellman? What happens to your thinking? Frontic? Yep. How effective is it? It's not very effective at all. We talk about stress quite a lot. One day I wanted to understand what it meant. So I googled what would stress me, and there's about 50,000 definitions of stress. But the one that resonated with me was this, that stress is the state of mind we get into when we think we can't cope. When we think that more is being asked of us than we can do. When we think the demands upon us are exceeding our resources. And there are two bits to that definition. One is the kind of the demands and the resources, and that's important. But the critical thing I think is, it's what we think. It doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong. If I think that more is being asked of me than I can do, if I think that the demands are placed on me to do, I will feel stressed. It doesn't matter whether I'm right or wrong. If we feel stressed, our thinking starts going away. And what we tend to do is two things. We exaggerate the demands. We think that there are more of them and more time critical. That if I don't get that essay in, I'm going to be beaten alive by my supervisor and then my parents will be told and then whatever, and my life will be in there. So we exaggerate the demands. And at the same time, we start underestimating our resources. And I think we do that in two ways. First of all, we lose confidence in ourselves. Because our thinking goes a bit haywire, we lose confidence in our own ability to do stuff. But critically, and I don't know, this may not be as apparent to you now, but it will be when you're in an organisation. You don't think you can talk to anybody else about it. So even though I might be surrounded by one of the most highly skilled teams in one of the most highly regarded professional service firms in the entire world, I don't ask for help. I think I'd better shut up and keep quiet and not admit that I'm struggling. And so I lose sight of all the resources around me, if that makes sense. So at the same time as we exaggerate the demands, we're underestimating the resources. And it's in that gap that our stress lies. And the longer we're there, the bigger that gap comes. And most of it is about this. And if you sit down with anybody who's stressed and say, let's talk about it, you'll generally find that they are exaggerating the demands and they're underestimating the resources. And if they're not, then you take away some of the demands and you give them some resources, but most of the time they've got their perspective out of guilt. If that makes some sense. We might look at that a bit more in a moment. What's going on in our brains with this is quite basic and this may be nothing new to you. The oldest bit of our brain is the amygdala. A little bit of our brain sits at the top of our spinal column and it hasn't evolved at all. It was there when we were reptiles and it hasn't changed since. It hasn't changed since because it's really good at what it does and what it does is really simple. It's there to protect us from harm. It's there to alert us when we're in danger and to get us ready to deal with danger. And what happens is that when we perceive ourselves to be in danger, the amygdala automatically gets triggered. We don't have to be aware of the threat as soon as we become even unconsciously aware of the threat if the amygdala gets triggered. But because it's primitive, because it's prehistoric, it assumes that any threat is one of those. Now, in London at least we don't get many of those. But that's what's going on in our bodies the whole time. What would you do if you're facing one of those? I know this is law, not biology, but... You'll fight or run? Or run, fight or flight. You might freeze, you might fold, but fight or flight are two most common things. What are you going to do if you want to run away or fight? What do you need? More basically. If I want to run really fast I need lots of energy. Where do I need it? If I'm going to fight I need it in my... Our bodies are really clever. When we perceive ourselves to be on the threat we don't have to be consciously aware of the threat and it doesn't matter whether we're right or wrong. Once we think we're on the threat, the amygdala is triggered, floods our body with adrenaline and other hormones and their job is to create the physiological changes necessary to get us ready to run away or fight. Breathing goes up, getting more oxygen in, heart rate goes up, get that blood pumping around the body, we release more glucose into our blood. All very sensible. Then something really clever happens which we're less aware of. The arteries to unimportant parts of our body narrow to reduce the amount of blood and energy going there and to max the amount of blood going to our arms and legs. Which is really clever when you think about it. The body basically shuts down bits of our system that aren't important like our digestive system or our bowel and bladder control. It's not important when you're facing a tiger. But the most critical bit that it shuts down is our brain. Because I don't need to be able to do complicated law when I'm facing a tiger.  The blood supply to our brain is reduced when we feel under threat. The bit of our brain that stops first is our prefrontal cortex, the bit of our brain that does our clever conscious thinking. Which is why our thinking goes frantic because our brain is just shutting down. Which is fine when you're facing a tiger. But the problem is we don't anymore.  None of them are going to attack us physically. But we behave as if they are. And we get ready to run away or fight them. Which isn't very helpful. And we can't do much about it really. It's just the way we're made. We're not going to evolve anytime soon. But we need to understand what's going on. Does that make sense? If you think about stress, and obviously what's going on there and that's when we feel under threat. I don't think there is a bigger threat that we face as budding professionals than the idea that we may not be able to cope. The idea that I'm going to be found out and that actually, yeah, I am a bit of a fraud after all and I'm not as clever as I thought and now I don't know all the answers and blah blah blah. That is a huge, huge existential threat to any of us. Stress is a really big trigger when you feel stressed. Oh my goodness, you think you're facing a tiger. So there's lots of stuff around it in terms of symptoms. And I'm guessing that some of this stuff will be stuff that you recognise in terms of your own experience. I'm not going to go for all of these, but this is the kind of stuff that happens. This is why, and this is because, in terms of how we think and feel, this is because the blood supply to our brain is being shut down. So you can't remember stuff. You can't concentrate. You can't make decisions. Not sleeping. Anybody have sleep problems? But it makes sense. If you're facing a tiger, don't fall asleep. You'll get eaten. So when you're anxious, you don't sleep. Lots of stuff. Our dreams, they can often tell us some quite useful stuff. So lots of stuff about how we think and feel. These are all kind of physical, these are all symptoms to be on the lookout for it. Stuff around how our body reacts physically, how we behave. This is all the response to an imagined, savoured toothed tiger. But as I say, it could be exams. It could be all sorts of things that trigger this. This isn't always the most helpful reaction. Knowing that is quite important. What I think is most important is this, that all of that starts with us thinking I'm under threat. If I perceive myself to be under threat, if I think there's a threat, then my amygdalae gets triggered. This is all about how our brains work. It's all about what we perceive to be under threat. Now, this is a little model, which I don't know it might resonate or not. We use it a lot in our training. So think about how we can cope. And it's very simple to bucket, as you can tell with a little tap on the side of it.  All of our worries are difficult to use. And it doesn't matter where they're coming from, our families, our friends, our love life, our exams, our this, our that, it's all going to the same bucket. Donald Trump. All going to the same bucket. And if we can keep our stuff in our bucket, then we're coping. If our stuff starts overflowing our bucket, that's when we're getting into difficulty. That makes sense. So what we need to do is we need to keep the stuff in our bucket. Does that make sense? And this is that. It doesn't matter whether it's all going to the same bucket. What three things will determine whether or not my stress overflows my bucket? Being as literal as you like. The size of my bucket. If I've got a big bucket, I can get loads of stuff in it. The amount of stuff coming in, yeah? Third thing is that tap. How do you let stuff out?  If you've got a massive bucket, you can chuck loads of stuff in it. How do you make a bigger bucket? Look at this as a positive thing. How can you make yourself more able to cope? How can you boost your resilience or reduce your vulnerability? Self-confidence, experience as well would help with that. If you've done stuff before, you might know.  Imagine how much more you're able to cope with if you've had a good night's sleep compared to if you haven't. What we eat and drink, that goes to our resilience. Our friendships, our support networks, our sense of purpose, what else? How much alcohol we drink? How much caffeine we have? How much nicotine we have? All of that will affect the size of our bucket. The weather. If it's sunny, we feel better. Bigger bucket. Rates of depression are higher in winter because we get less sunlight. Our skin converts sunlight to between D. So getting outside is good for us. There'll be some genetics and other things in there as well. But what about that tap? How do you relieve stress? How do you get stuff out of your bucket? What do you do when you're feeling stressed? That's helpful. Or even that's not helpful. Procrastinate, that's probably not helpful. But it's a very common trait. It's a very legally trait. Procrastinate. And it comes from perfectionism. If I don't think I can do something perfectly, I will not do it. There's lots of things that might relieve stress. This was some research done a while back by Government Commission Research, looking at how do people who cope, people who seem to be able to manage life, what are they doing that the rest of us could learn from? And they took the top five behaviours. And they took the top five because they wanted to mirror our five fruit and veggie day. But a lot of wellbeing programmes in organisations are based upon these five things. And it's not rocket science. The idea is if we can do all of these. We can keep our tap flowing. We can get that stress out of our bucket. So being active exercise. And this doesn't have to be taekwondo or whatever that jumper is. It doesn't have to be anything vigorous. Just walking can be quite enough. 30 minutes exercise, four times a week, positive impacts on our wellbeing. Connection, talking to people. Having good interpersonal relationships kind of makes sense, we know that. Learning. Being at uni is good for you. But our brains are curious. Our brain likes to explore.  Whereas if you are able to explore and learn and be curious and whatever, good for us. Giving. There's a lot of research now around the positive benefits to us of altruism. If we look after somebody else, we feel better. Which is nice. Obviously that can be in all sorts of different ways, but simple stuff. Being nice to your neighbour. And taking notice. Don't really do any meditation. Mindfulness, a little bit maybe. Yeah. A bit. Just spending more time in the present moment. Spending more time just noticing what's going on. We spend so much of our lives worrying about tomorrow or yesterday. Which we can't do anything about. And when we're thinking about tomorrow or yesterday, we worry. But all we can do with right now is be in it. So if we can spend more time in the present moment. And it could be through meditative practice, whatever. But just paying attention. Taking notice. We can go for a walk noticing what the weather is doing, noticing the seasons. Something I'd do in the present moment. When I was what I was going to do for two years was that you feel that the more that you take on, the better you are, the more stress that you're feeling, the more productive you are. So how is it a little bit of a sort of tone that line between what you're doing and what you're doing right now? And then taking on the last lecture that you feel is productive? If you, Matt, lovely question. What should I do? If you, Matt, pressure and both the oncology or for that you can have the happiness as well probably. But we all have to go on and look a bit like what do you call that? Normal distribution care. Normal distribution care. There you go. So we all have that and we all have that sweet spot here where it's not too hot and not too cold. Where the pressure is just about right.    But equally, obviously, when we get too much pressure. So it's finding that sweet spot. We all need pressure, but it's just not having too much. That makes sense. And when you start getting into that territory, that's really where stress lies. When you start getting into that, that's when you're experiencing a lot of those symptoms around anxiety all the time. If you're finding it hard to concentrate, if you're not sleeping well, if you're always at risk, if you're always at whatever. That's a good sign to give you. Does that make any sense? And we all have a good grasp of this and it moves. So if I think about actually, but if I think about standing in front of a lecture space like this when I was 18, God know what I've done that. I'd have been absolutely broken myself. But now I can do it. So my curve has moved along a bit. But equally, there are times when I, most of the time my curve might be here. Sometimes I might be struggling a little bit and it'll be here. Learning to say, it's getting a bit hard. To ourselves first of all, admit that. And then to somebody else. Lawyers. Lawyers extra here. Then they haven't got enough to do.  Not all boys for some reason. The, and that can be quite, you know, finding that and of course you never know there's that lovely expression that's not enough more than you can chew. Which is perfect. Except you don't know until you have. That makes sense. You don't know until you have. But once you have been enough more than you can chew, take it out. Because otherwise you'll choke. You know, if you find yourself here, still doing some stuff. You have to stop. And probably when you are finding yourself here, the first thing to do is to stop. Hang on. This isn't a very good place. That stuff is all about how we keep our tap flowing. And weirdly, you know, if you think about that model and think about being really busy. So I've got loads of stuff on and my bucket's really full. What we tend to do then is to say, well I haven't got time to exercise and I haven't got time to see my friends and I haven't got time to be nice to somebody and I haven't got time for any of this stuff because I've just got so much to do. It's when our bucket is full that we need to stop more than ever. That makes sense. Could we say that, you know, I hear many people saying they're busy, always. And to meet up, I need to plan that three weeks in advance, say. In my perspective, I don't see them as busy because I know people who are really busy. Like co-founder of startups that are really genuinely busy. Other people that say they're busy, I don't think they're busy. I think they don't prioritise well in terms of, you know, they say they're busy but they don't prioritise when they're on, in terms of being active, in terms of being interested, in terms of learning. I think that's absolutely right. The most successful people are people who are taking themselves and then I think there's someone else. Come on, too. But taking yourself seriously enough, caring about yourself enough to actually take care of yourself is hugely important because nobody else is going to do it. I've spent quite a lot of time assuming that somebody else would look after me. Nobody else will. You've got to do it. Which is fine, but you've got to actually take time and efforts to do it. So that's about how you do it. What about the stuff coming in? Anybody who knows who that bloke is know that kind of similar, kind of epitodus, who was a Greek philosopher who famously said this, it's not events that causes the difficulties but how we think about it. It's not the world that causes our problems, it's how we think about it. There was a lot of, so we've just been through the liberation of the concentration camps. If you read any of the philosophy that came out from the Jewish philosophers who survived those camps, they will say this, they will say we had no control over what happened to us. We had absolutely no control about the way we treated it. All we could do was control how we responded to it. And notwithstanding the way that we were being treated, notwithstanding the humanity in those camps, we responded with humanity to ourselves, to our fellow prisoners and even to the guards, we responded with humanity. It's not the events that causes our problems, it's how we respond to it, if that makes sense. It's not the world that causes our bucket but how we think about it. So to come back to what you were saying, the reason why some people seem to be able to cope with a load of stuff, some of it is about how they think. It's not... Does that make sense? If I think it's fine, I know all of my contract law and yes there's an exam tomorrow, but I know I've learnt it all and I've got it all off pat, then I won't feel so worried about that again. If however, I think I haven't done any revision whatsoever and I think I'm really daft, then I will feel really worried about that again. Neither is right or wrong necessarily because it's not the exam itself that is affecting how I'm reacting to it. It's how I think about it, if that makes sense. Which is this. I've got to show up soon. ABC. This is a CBT, anybody familiar with CBT? Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's a form of therapy. It's one of many, but it's useful for this model. This explains how our brains work. Something happens and we respond to it. And we tend just to notice those things. So, I don't know, our tutor comes into the room and we start feeling worried. A tiger and I run away. It's not the tutor that makes me scared. It's not the tiger that makes me run away. It's what I think about it. It's my belief. What happens when I see a tiger? I believe it didn't double. So, I'm sitting in my room and Brendan is my boss and Brendan phones me up and I start getting worried. Imagine that last week Brendan had asked me to do some report and I haven't done it. Brendan phones me up, activating event, something happens. I start feeling scared. Why am I feeling scared? What am I thinking? Last week he asked me to do a report and I haven't done it. And now he's phoning me up. Get back a few steps. First of all, I'm thinking he's phoning me up about the course. Secondly, he's going to find out that I haven't done it. Thirdly, he's going to be angry. Fourthly, I'll get tired. Fifthly, I'll probably then my wife will leave me and then I'll have to do it on her page and I'll fire up at the venue and then I'll probably shouldn't be joking about that if I should be annoying her. Sorry. It's not Brendan phoning me up, the activating event that makes me scared, it's all of those thoughts. I don't know why he's phoning me up. I've got no idea why he's phoning me up. But my brain has decided it's because he wants to know about the report. That's why he's phoning me up. And then I'm going through all those steps. I don't know.  And my brain is now not working. Which is very good because my boss is on the phone. And we do this all the time. Not necessarily with our bosses, but with our tutors. He might be phoning me up to say Richard, that report I asked you to do don't worry about it, we don't need it anymore. He might be phoning me up to say Richard, I just wanted to say how lovely you are. I don't know. But our brains tell us he's phoning me up because I'm in trouble. It's not the event that causes us our problems. It's all to think about. That leads us to being scared. And that then triggers the amygdala which then triggers us to be better. So if we can capture those beliefs, if we can understand how this works, then we can do something about feeling anxious and stressed. And there are some really we all have our own messed up nonsense in here. And that's what therapy is about. But when we could spend some time talking about that, if you like. But there are some really common thinking patterns that we all do a bit of.  And believe me, in a Northburn environment there are quite a lot of people stressed.  Tell me what you're stressed about. It'll be riddled with these things. So first of all, catastrophising. Worst-case scenario. Making amounts out of my hope. Worrying about everything that could possibly go wrong. Everyone does this. But the lawyers have paid to do this. That is a brilliant job is to worry about everything that could possibly go wrong and then to stop it happening or at least to provide what should happen in that situation. That's what we do. And the more we do it, like anything, the more you practice the easier it becomes. And the more you do it automatically. That makes sense. Anybody playing the piano or a music dancer or any kind. When you first start doing it, I know this because I'm trying to level it again at the moment, I have to think about every single note.  But when you look at a concert pianist, they're not thinking about every note because they've done it in loads. The more you catastrophise your job, the more you're going to do that. Personalisation, the way it's all about us, it's all my fault or if something's gone wrong, it's my fault. If something's going to go right, I've got to make it happen. If something's happening to me, no. Most of what happens out there is not about me. But we kind of see it as being about us. So when and lawyers, like most professionals are pretty good at personalising. Over generalisation it's always this, always that. Black and white thinking. Things are either good or bad, right or wrong, nice or nasty. People are either on my side or not. The world is great. But when we force things into the extremes of black and white. And it's what lies at the heart of perfectionism. And therefore professionalisation. If you get 100% no, if you get 70% right, the older but GCSE you get an A grade. The A level you get an A grade. The university you get first. In a law firm, if you get 70% of it right, you get seven. You're not allowed to make mistakes. Everything is good. If it's not perfect, I'm a disaster. No, that's not actually true. That's how people think. Negative inferencing. The way we think we know what people mean. So I walk down the road and I see you tomorrow when I wave and you don't wave back. And I think, oh, I've upset it. She's angry with me. I'm a bad person. When in reality you might not have seen me. You might be busy.  You might just be rude. But no, no, we make it about us. We make it awful. Email is a really good way of where we confuse people's meaning the whole time. I don't know if you... So I am old enough that I didn't have email when I stuck with it. But the... When we communicate normally face to face about 30% of our communication is words. The rest of it is our body language and our kind of voice. And that's what really helps us. With email all we've got is a 30%. And so we make up the rest. We infer the rest. And so when you send me an email I've got your 30% of words and then I have to fill in the gap and I fill it in with whatever shit is going on in here. If I'm having a really good time and thinking you are really being nice to me even though you've given me a telling off to see if it's being a positive thing or if I'm having a bit of a bad time even though you're saying Richard that's quite good what you did. Why here is that was really rubbish. We infer. So let's have abstraction. What do you mean by that? I mean by that. The way in which we... you get four firsts and then two one in your final papers. And instead of going way thinking four firsts that's really good. You start worrying about the two one.  Does that make sense? Those thinking patterns, those beliefs are sitting in between our activating of NRA and RC and this is what causes us to get stressed and catastrophising in particular. Richard leaves that which is my favourite saying to note just because I think something doesn't mean it's true.  Because it's based upon catastrophising based on this based on the fact that I think Richard doesn't like me. No, she's just rude. But now I'm really upset and miserable just because I think something doesn't mean it's true. And so being kind enough to ourselves to notice when we're having thinking that it's getting a stress and say hang on, the only way I actually read what am I making some stuff up here? What am I making some stuff up here? What am I making some stuff up here?  I'm going to shut up in a moment so I'm going to skip through that and I'm just going to tell you about this, that. Because what years are you in? I know you've been in this first year. So we saw those stats at the beginning of that question and how there's quite a lot of mental health problems in the profession. And it's not just the legal profession but there's quite a lot of legal profession. And there's a recognition that there's a lot of pressure and actually we quite like this. We've always quite liked it in here. You know, you spend quite a lot of time there. And that's good, you know, we love that kind of trust and more of it. Life would be boring if it was all down here. But there's an awful lot of stuff that goes on in the workplace which is unhelpful which is stressful and unhelpful. And if we could try and remove some of that unnecessary stuff then we could make our workplace healthier and more productive as a result. And this is an initiative which was begun by a couple of law firms. Vincent Mason is an official good art and the legal team at Barclays. So Barclays, I don't know if this is, Barclays have got a big legal team and they give out loads of work. So if you are a law firm in London or Britain or anywhere else in the UK that's doing commercial type work, Barclays is going to be a client of yours. Like lots of other banks. And when Barclays say jump the law firms start jumping and they carry on jumping until they fall over dead because Barclays is so important. You know, like other banks, Doleman Sacks or whoever it might be.  Secondly, when you're stressed you don't do very good work because your brains aren't working. So that's not good for any of us. You know, you don't like being stressed. It's not good for your health. It's not good for the work that we get from you. So could we talk to each other? Shit, talk to each other? Let's have a conversation. Let's try and remove some of the unnecessary stress that goes on in our relationship. You Barclays are really important and we, your firm, we're a bit scared of you. And if we could actually just talk to each other and say, be able to say sometimes you've asked me to, I don't know, do this particular piece of work and you've said you want it back on Monday we can do that but that doesn't mean that none of us will sleep for the next five nights. We'll do it if you want but it'll be better if we can have a bit more time. Things like that. And just be, you know, when you say to me can we have a meeting at 8 o'clock in the morning that's a real problem because much as I'd like to do your work I also like taking my kids to school or I like doing yoga or I'm just really lazy you know, 8 o'clock is not good for me being allowed to have that kind of conversation. So this began a couple of years ago with, let's say, the lawyers of Barclays and a couple of their law firms well, it began in October 2018 with three banks, RBS, Lloyds and Barclays and nine law firms, London law firms and now, at the end of the year we were appointed to promote and develop this and we've got about 38 organisations now involved law firms and then lots of clients, banks and others saying, let's put this on the agenda let's talk about this let's try and do things differently and it's not, you know, we haven't sold you everything overnight but what we're doing with this is creating the opportunity for people to talk to have a framework for discussion to say actually, you know, how we are matters and can we try and do things in a slightly different way. So, if you are applying to law firms for example, one of the things I would say you should think about raising if this is interesting is, what do you do around that? and are you? sign up for my government shop and if not, why not? what do you do to support your trainees' wellbeing? what do you do to support? what supports do you have in place? where do I go to? what are the hours I have to do? I'm going to shut up because I said I would do this all the way up now questions, thoughts, anything?


Oh my god, I found him!  I can't just leave him alive. Oh, banished. Fresh void plague. Oh my god. We're going again, El Chippo. Alright, extra mediums. Thank you for the five months. Forgot I used Prime last time, so I didn't renew. Scammed by Twitch, man, god damn. Pre-changers are not live yet. 20.149, wait.  Oh my god, another blackout. Another mage is approaching. Oh my god, Timbers. Is he going to break the sheep? Dude, Timbers is definitely getting involved here, dude. El Chippo just observing. We'll resume our duel shortly. Okay, we can resume already. We're good. Get some mana. Oh my god, a boomy as well. Are you joking, man? Why, bro? Why you got to do me like this? And a spider, no. Not the spider. Oh, the blackout. Time to go, boys. I've got a spirit tap off someone. That spider's keeping me in combat. Oh my god, another one. I need to deal with this druid quick stat. Oh god, a hunter.  Alright, time to go. Alright, we're going in. My, oh my days, bro. There's no way, bro. That was legit. That was the best skin clip so far. Out of the whole of SOD. Like, hands down. Holy.


So let's try this problem again with some different conditions. So it says calculate the pH of a buffer solution consisting of 0.50 molar, acetic acid in 0.50 molar, sodium acetate after adding 0.020 moles of solid sodium hydroxide to 1 liter of the buffer solution in part A. So all they're saying, all they want you to do with that number of moles and volume is to calculate the molarity of that sodium hydroxide. That's what they mean. So the concentration of sodium hydroxide is going to be, of course, 0.020 moles divided by 1.0 liters equals 0.020 moles. So let's draw the first reaction equation that we need to use. So notice, we're putting in a strong base here. That's going to react. Is that going to react with the sodium acetate here? Or is it going to react with the acetic acid? What do you think? The acetic acid, right? That's what it reacts with. So the first thing we've got to do is figure out what the extent of that reaction is. So we've got to figure out our new starting concentrations is what we're doing. So first, there's going to be two reaction equations we write for these buffers. So first one's going to be the reaction of that base with your weak acid. So whenever you have your weak acid and a strong base, so remember that sodium is just a spectator ion. So I'm not going to even put it in there. That goes all the way to product here. So when we do that, we're going to get CH3C00 minus plus H2O. Can everybody do that part of the equation? Part of that part of the problem. Got to do an ice table, that. So we started with 0.50 molar. Is everybody OK with that? 0.50 molar. What did we start here? 0.020 molar. What did we start here? Did we start here with something? 0.5. Yeah, 0.50 molar. So you see how this one's a little bit tougher because you've got to figure out something to put in all of them. So what happens when I react with this with this? This reacts completely. Everybody understand that? So I'm going to have to subtract 0.020 molar. When I do that, I get 0.48 molar. I'm also going to have to subtract 0.020 from that. Because once you react that with that, that's the correct answer. It's going to give me 0. Makes sense. What am I going to do here? That will be very good. So what am I going to get down here? 0.52. So can everybody do that portion? So that gives me new initial concentrations. So now I'm going to revamp this stuff up here. Is everybody OK with what I'm doing? OK, so this now is going to be 0.48 molar. I'm going to get that from there. And this one's going to be 0.52 molar, which I get from over there. Is everybody OK with what I've done there? Now it's just that same problem that we did last week. So can I erase this ice table? Did everybody get it? OK, cool. With water going back and forth plus H3O plus. And we're still looking for the pH truth. So what am I going to do? Draw an ice table. OK, what's here? Very good, plus X. So 0.522. X, 0.48 minus X. Can we use our 5% rule here? Yeah, so it's the same problem, right? So we can use it. So let's do it.  So let's rearrange. Notice this is different. So it's not going to be the k8. So 1.8 into the negative 5. 0.4827 times to the negative fifth molar, H3O plus. So what you guys got? Very cool. And then I'm going to erase this and figure out the pH, OK? So I erase that. pH equals negative log of that number over there, 1.7 times 10 with the negative fifth and seven. Is that something you would have expected? It would be something like that, right? So up, right? Because it's studying my drop side, so that makes it more basic. But not very much, right? Because it's a buffered solution. So what did it go from 4.74 to 4.78? OK, is everybody OK with doing these buffers? So I want you guys to try the one by adding acid on your own, OK? Any questions? Questions over there. OK, cool.