Hello everyone. Welcome to another Knox Firelight video. I'm in this Japanese style room today and as you can see I'm wearing a kimono. So it's a Japanese style video. A traditional Japanese style. Let's just say that. So in this one we're going to be talking about how the narcissist knows you're done. Because these narcissists, they're so arrogant, audacious and delusional. In their minds they think they're the best thing since sliced bread. They think they're better than you. You need them. You can't live without them. Yeah that's how they think in their minds. In their minds they are superior to you. You can't do without them.  Live your own life or so they think. Yeah that's really how they think. That's really how they see you. They think you're not good enough to just go at it on your own without them. They think you need them. They think you can't live without them. And so you're not good enough on your own. That's how they think because they're completely delusional people. They're arrogant, they're audacious and that's how they can approach you in the way that they do. To where it's like they've got you all figured out.  They know exactly who you are, what you want, what you need, what you desire, what you're feeling in any given moment or any given situation. It's almost like they think they're gods. And not only do they think that they're God, they think that they're God's gift to you. And at the same time that is a gift that they don't really want to give to you. Or at least that's if they perceive it. That's what they want you to believe. So yeah whether you know it or not. That answer says you are dealing with. They think that you still want them. Yeah that's what they think. And even if you're not in contact with them right now and they're not in contact with you I can guarantee they're out there somewhere lurking in the shadows. Just thinking that it's a matter of time till you pick up the phone. You start texting them again, messaging them on social media because they're just so full of themselves. They think they're so amazing. They're so sexy. So beautiful. So much better than you. So rich, so handsome. So everything that you could ever want in your life. Yeah that's really how they think. That's really what they believe. They really believe that you want them, that you can't live without them. And as though they don't need you. They don't need anything from you. They're completely independent. They can just do whatever they want whenever they want to do it with whoever they want. Just not with you because it's you who needs them. They do not need you. Or at least that's what they portray it. That's what they want you to think. And at some point you must get fed up with it. Seeing the same thing all the time from them. I mean it just never changes. It's like they're stuck on a loop. They're stuck on repeat. And they just can't get out of it. It's like non-stop. They're constantly so full of themselves. And thinking that you need them when it's actually the other way around. They are the ones who need you. They are the ones who are heavily dependent on you as a source of supply for your attention, admiration and validation. Yeah, they need constant compliments and praise from you. They can't live without it. Because they're not even real. They have a false character. An illusion that they're trying to portray. Because they need excessive attention, admiration and praise to survive emotionally. That's the only way that they can regulate their emotions. So how do they know that you're done? That's what you're going to find out in this video. I am going to reveal that to you how the narcissist will finally know that you were done. You're done with them. You don't want to deal with them anymore. But before I give that information to you, please show your support down below by giving this video a thumbs up. It's very important as it helps you to algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors as well. But yes, this is how the narcissist knows that you are done. Because sometimes just going no contact there isn't enough.  And the reason for that is because they assume that you don't have anything more significant going on in your life. That's really what it is. Some of them are so delusional. You could be married. You could have a husband or wife. You could have children.   They actually really believe that in their minds. Because that is just not enough for them. Yes, you may have got no contact. Yes, you may be with someone else. Yes, you may be married, may have children. You may have a completely new life without them. But remember, they think they're the best thing since sliced bread. They think that they are the most important significant person in the world to you. And that there is no one else who can replace them. Even if you don't really know them, you don't really know who the who they even actually are. Remember, they're crazy. They're delusional. And that is just something that you need to understand.  How do they know that? And I'm about to tell you that right now. How the analysis says knows that you're finally done. You're finished with them. It's all over. You don't want to deal with them again. You're not going back.  You have something that you're following that's greater than yourself. Something that you're really passionate about. And it could be a hobby, an interest. It could be a business, your work, whatever it is. Or it could be something even greater than that. It could be your religion, spirituality, God, the universe. Or it could be a charitable cause. Where you have devoted your life to helping other people and contributing value to this world. Yes, when the narcissist sees that, they will know that you are done. They will know that it is all over for them. But like I said, they may not realize that if it's just something where you've got no contact, maybe you've entered a new relationship. Even if you've gotten married, you've had children. Sometimes that still isn't enough for them. Because in their minds, they are the best thing since like bread. There's no one greater than them. As crazy and delusional as that sounds. I mean some of you may be listening to this, laughing in the background. They may just seem like such a joke. And I get that because you just take a step back and you look at them and it's like you're not even all that.   I've been with people who are far more attractive than you.  Or whatever it is that they think they are. It's like you look at them and it's like you're not really that. You never even did the work to become that. It's like one day you just woke up and decided that is me. That is who I am from now on. What about the work? What about the steps that it should take to achieve that? What about the suffering, the trials and tribulations? What about all of that? No, they don't go through that at all, do they? It's just like one day they just wake up. Oh yeah, I'm just going to be this from now on. I've seen other people on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, celebrities, whatever it may be. Yeah, I've seen that. I've seen them do that and they get attention. They get likes. They get followers. They get validation. So from now on, that's going to be me. I'm going to be that. I'm going to do that and I'm going to get all of the attention and validation for myself. That's what they do, isn't it? That's how they think in their minds. They're so delusional. They really actually believe that they are that person. Well, they are not that at all. How can they be that now? They were never that before. How can they be that when they never even did the work? Does it even make any sense? But in their minds, that's who they think they are. That's how they expect you to see them and they are so overbearing, all encompassing, suffocating to where it's like, all right, fine.  Whatever it is that makes you think that you are so much greater than me, that I need you so bad. Okay, yes, fine. That's you. Now just leave me alone. It gets to that point sometimes, doesn't it? Well, you don't even want to argue with them. You don't even want to fight. You just let them believe whatever they want to believe. You let them to continue to exist in their false reality because otherwise it's just going to be this constant fight, this constant argument where it's like they never want to leave you alone.  It's like even if you go into contact, they come back with a hoover. They're blowing up your phone again. They're stalking you on social media or even in person. Showing up at your house, your work. Contacting your family or friends. And it's just like, when is this person going to leave me alone? Why can't they take the hint?  That I am not interested. I don't want them.  I'm fed up of them. I've seen enough already to know that I do not want a person like that in my life. I don't want a person who is abusive, manipulative, deceptive. A person who tells lies, spreading rumors.  And it's like, yeah, when are they going to get that through their heads? When are they going to realize it? When are they going to figure that out? When are they going to know that you were done? That you've had enough. You've seen enough. You don't want anything more to do with them. When are they going to know? When are they going to realize that? And like I said, it's not enough that you just go out of contact. You enter a new relationship. Even getting married, having kids. Sometimes that's not enough. You need to have a higher purpose. Something that you're really passionate about. Something that means something to you. Something greater than yourself that you were following. And like I said, that could be a hobby or an interest or what I would really recommend is if it's a religion, spirituality, gods, the universe of attraction, a charitable cause. That's what will really let them know that you were done. You were finished. You've had enough of them. That will really let them know that. That will confirm that to them. But know this as well. Because as I said, they are crazy delusional people. And not only that, honestly some of them, they don't even care how you feel, what you desire, want or need, what your personal preferences, ideas or opinions may be. They don't care about any of that. Some of them don't.  Because they have this fantasy, this delusion in their minds where it's everything that they want. Everything that they want needs you to be. Everything that they expect. Whatever makes their fantasy, their alternate reality come to life. They hold these idealistic ideas and notions of you in their mind. And they expect you to live up to that in person because they objectify us with just these objects that exist to meet their needs. So they don't even look at us as separate people with a mind of our own. With our own feelings, wants, needs and desires. They just project on to us whatever it is that they want, desire or needs. And then they expect us to live up to that. And that is why, I don't know, some of you will have experienced this.   You tell them, no, I am not interested in you. I've had enough. I do not want you.  Just leave me alone. Yeah, some of you may have said that to them already. You may have made it very clear. And then you block their number. You block them on social media. And they're, whoop, here you go. They're showing up at your house, your work. And it's like, what is going on? I made it very clear to you. And then some of you, you may even call the police. You may get a restraining order against them. And despite that, they just still will not stop. They just keep coming back. And it's like, Michael Myers from Halloween, Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th. It's like, how many times is this person going to come back? It's like, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, you try to kill every possible opportunity of them coming back to you. And they still come back. It's literally like that Friday the 13th movie. You know, Jason Voorhees, that guy with the ski mask. And it's like, no matter what happens to him at the end of the movie, no matter how he gets killed, he always comes back somehow. It's like nothing can stop him. But he like, he walks so slowly. But somehow he always manages to catch up to his victims and kill them. It's just crazy. It really is. It's like a horror movie in real life. This is what these people are like. This is what we have to deal with because they're just so delusional. It's like we just can't get it into their heads. And it's really sad for some of them. It's a real sickness. I mean, this is the disorder. They have these fantasies, these delusions in their mind where they expect you to perform a certain role that they've got made up in their minds so that it can make them feel a certain way that they want to feel and then they can exist in this fantasy that they've created on their own. And it's not like role play, cosplay. I mean that's a completely different thing and there's nothing wrong with that. It's nothing wrong with two people consenting to play out a certain role like, I don't know, if you've got a thing for school girls and your partner, you want her to dress up in a school girl uniform because that's your thing, that's what you like. And it's something that's understood mutually. So before you begin, before the performance, before the role is played, it's like, yes, okay, this is what we're gonna do. This is how it's gonna play out. This is how it begins. Maybe this is how it ends. And that's that. And then we return back to our normal lives. There's nothing wrong with that. But that's not how it goes down with these narcissists, is it? Because whether you realize it or not, they have these fantasies, these illusions in their minds and they expect you to just know all about it without them even telling you. They expect you just to know to already realize, to understand that this is who they need you to be. They need you to be this character. However, they've imagined it in their minds. They need you to live up to that. They need you to play out this role.   Like, yes, please just show me some love. Please just be there for me. Give me a kiss. Give me a hug. Just give me some attention. Yes, that's what they want from you. They want you to get on your knees and worship them. Kiss their feet. See them as this God, this larger than life figure when it's like, who even are you? What have you done to even earn my attention? Because that's the thing, this is the false self. It's the false character. They've never even done the work. They've never even been through the trials and tribulations. They've never done anything to earn any sort of compliments or praise. Any sort of merit. They've never done anything to earn that. It's just something where literally this is how it goes with them. This is what happened. It's like they've seen something on TV or in the movies. Could have been in real life as well. But whether it was a celebrity, someone they know, someone who they seem to be attractive or desirable, powerful and important. They've scanned that person and identified what it is that's drawn people to them, that's attracted them. To get them the attention, the admiration, the compliments and praise. They've just scanned that person and then just one day they just decided to take on these traits, these qualities. It's like one day they just decided to get on that right now and it's like what about the work? You can't just pick up this character and one day just decide that's who you are. It doesn't work that way. It has to be a journey. It takes a long time. Like if you see me you can see the last five and a half years on this channel. You can see my work, my journey. I didn't just become this confident, this charismatic, this knowledgeable overnight, of course not. If you look back at my earlier videos at the very beginning I was a lot more quieter. I wasn't anywhere near as descriptive as I am now. The information wasn't as advanced. This was a process over a long period of time, many years. And that's how it is for something to be real, for this narc-survivor content to be the real thing. Where it's not just like I looked at some other YouTuber, someone else who's talking about narcissism. And then I just woke up one day and I decided okay yeah that's who I am now. That's me. It's not like that. This was a process that took many years to develop my style, my creativity. It took a long time and as you can see in the beginning if you look at my earliest videos I experimented with many different sounds, many different ways of speech, of express myself. I experimented with many different things until I found the style for me, what worked for me. It's not like that with these narcissists. They just create this false character, this false self and it's like certainly they're just that all of a sudden overnight. And that's how it's so hard to get rid of them. It's so hard to get them to realize that you were done because of the fantasy, the delusion in their minds. In their minds they're perfect. They really believe that. They really believe that they are completely flawless. That there's nothing wrong with them when they're in that mode, that way of behaving. Whereas like in their minds they're the best thing since like bread. They're gorgeous, they're beautiful, they're handsome, they're sexy, wealthy, they're powerful, they're rich. They're everything you could ever want or desire them to be.  You think they're thinking about that then? Of course not. In their minds in that moment they're perfect, they're flawless. So you're telling them you're done and it's like in their minds this must be a joke. How can you be done? What's wrong with them? It's sad. It's really sad. Like when you see them you may pity them. You may think how can this person not understand how can they not get it? How can they not see that we are through, we are done?  They did all of these things and it's like you're a dastardy. How can someone who did all of this stuff honestly think that I would still want them? How can that thought even cross their minds? But yeah this is actually how they think a lot of times. This is actually what's going through their heads. It's amazing. Of course they're not completely delusional. Even the ones who seem like they are it's like when you confront them you may see that somewhere in there they do understand that what they're doing it's crazy it's irrational it makes no sense it doesn't add up. Yes some of them or the most of them they do realize in the back their minds underneath it all they know that you don't really want them but they don't want that to be the truth or the reality. They want to push that idea away because it doesn't really serve them. Remember us it's all they care about is themselves whatever works to their advantage so anything that they don't like anything that doesn't really serve them they'll just push it away try to forget about it and they'll just live in this delusion there's fantasy worlds where it's like oh you're not done there's still a chance we could still have something be something but you're there just looking at it thinking like when is this person gonna understand when are they gonna get it when is it gonna sink into their heads that's just it I mean we're very different to narcissists we're not the same they just can't accept it they can't deal with rejection abandonment they just don't want to accept you were done that you are no longer wanted to deal with them it's like they have to believe that you need them it's essential for their emotional survival if you've just joined please hit that thumbs up button down below helps to support the youtube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors as well but yeah as you can see I'm just in this Japanese style room wearing this kimono I thought I'd do a Japanese style video today I put one on TikTok as well but yeah how the narcissist knows you're done because it is very difficult to get them to know that you are done it's like no matter what you do no matter what you say they just don't get it I mean I know some of you you may have gone no contact you may have blocked them on everything you may have entered a new relationship you may be married you may have kids and it's like this narcissist keeps coming back they won't leave you alone they showed up at your house your work they're making fake accounts on social media they're contacting your family your friends because they really believe that they are not replaceable as though even if you have a new relationship a family these things cannot replace them because they're better the greater the special for whatever reason because they've created this false self who in their minds is perfect flawless and nothing else can be greater than that but the way that you really get them to know that you're done with them it is for you to have this higher purpose something greater than yourself that you are following or working towards that you believe in and are passionate about and as I said that could be a religion spirituality God the universe law of attraction or it could be a charitable cause but it's best if it is something that's greater than yourself something above you because then they will really get the picture they will really get the message that's going to hit home more than anything else when they see that when they realize that you found this meaningful purpose after dealing with them it's like while you were with them your life may not have had much direction there wasn't too much that you were really doing especially after leaving them it's like we're quite confused we don't really know what we're doing where we're going but then when you find this meaningful higher purpose this thing that you are following that you believe in that you're passionate about and you show discipline and self control that is when they finally begin to get the message that is when they finally begin to understand because then they start to realize that it's something that they cannot compete with I mean even though they may believe that they are the most important being or entity in the universe to you even though they may believe that they're not actually going to come out and say that they are God or that they're superior to God or that they're greater than the universe even though when they're really in that state of grandiosity that may be what they actually believe yes they may believe that they are the one the everything the center of the universe they may believe that they are God they are the creator yes in that state of grandiosity they may actually believe that never underestimate that state they really believe that they are larger than life than existence that there is nothing greater than them but they're not going to come out and actually say that of course they know how that might come across so when they see that you do have a higher purpose you're listening to and following God your religion spirituality the universe a charitable cause then they may just step down and back away they may just accept that they cannot replace or compare to that some of them still won't i hate to say it but yeah and i'm sure some of you have realized that already as well you may have become a born again christian going to church every week worshiping Jesus you're reciting hymns prayers you're doing it all just so you know i'm not a christian myself i was born a christian but i am actually following more buddhist teachings myself i am very spiritual but yeah you could be a born again christian or you may be a buddhist yourself you go into the church the temple you're praying you're worshiping you're following the teachings and then our success may still try to come back and they may test you to see if you're serious to see if you're really done and whatever may be forbidden in that religion or faith they will try to tempt and entice you with that yeah they will try to take you off that course they will try to get you to depart or deviate from it those of you who are religious spiritual of course they will seem very evil and demonic because as we know that is what satan is said to have done satan was very manipulative wasn't he he was very deceptive he was a liar a cheat a con artist he tempted and enticed the prophets of god did he not and if you look at the narcissist that's exactly what they do for a long time i didn't really want to accept it but it's like and i have spoken about this in past videos as well if you look at it their behaviors really align align with what has been said about satan as far as we know they're very manipulative and deceptive they're liars they're cheaters they're con artists they deceive they future fake they tempt they entice yeah it's very weird this is what they do at this point yes of course i do believe that there must be a spiritual aspect to narcissism i mean i've said it before and i will say it again that i've had encounters with narcissists where after a certain amount of time with being around them and they were very manipulative and deceptive during that time maybe emotionally abusive as well and i did feel like in that moment i was possessed by some sort of spirit like i was under a spell in a trance something just didn't seem right and now as i'm saying this as i'm speaking about i believe narcissism is demonic yes you may see these very strange comments on the live chat someone just said stomp stomp said bold man are narcissists another one tac fam said narcissist in a kimono you see they don't like it when we relate narcissism to demons and evil and as i was saying yeah i felt like i was possessed by a spirit myself from being around these knocks made me feel like i'm under a spell in a trance under some form of hypnosis where i'm acting out of character where i'm not truly being myself and then it's like when you come out of this trance you look back and it's like did i really say or do that that doesn't seem like me but yeah that's another thing is that it's never permanent with us as empaths or chosen ones it's only temporary but with them i do believe that it is permanent but it's always like that for them that they are really demonically possessed yes i'm convinced about that at this point in time from everything that i've learned from what i understand about narcissists and i think the ones who they become self-aware i think what tends to happen is they they find a way to remove the spirit they exercise it Latina Aquino says hello watching from Philippines wow that's a huge coincidence i actually just i booked my flight to the Philippines just a couple of days ago so that's where i'm going to be going in a couple of weeks i am convinced that these knocks aren't demonic i'm sorry to say that but i really do believe it after everything i've seen everything i've learned so far and i've done about six years of research into this there's really no other conclusion or explanation i mean just look at them just like the rise when you speak to them you can never get through to them they never seem to understand and i do also believe that to some extent it is contagious that it can take control of a person if we let it if we let it become a part of who we are and i'm sure many of you have seen that already i've seen it in my life i've seen people change completely from who they used to be and then they were never the same again i've seen things since i was a child but i would see someone going through it ranger and then i would say i think they're possessed by the devil yes as a child i already had that spiritual intuition i don't know what you think about that those of you who are watching this right now i don't know if you believe in the spiritual aspect of narcissism if you believe that narcissists are possessed i don't know about that but i'm just putting it out there that is what i believe at this point in time i mean it definitely seems like something is driving them there's a reason why they can't stop and if you look at it i'm sure it's the same for you as it is with myself it's like what stops me from going to the dark side with the knocks where i seek to harm or intimidate people or elevate myself at their expense i mean of course for a start it's my empathy i am an empath and i'm not sadistic i don't find pleasure at other people's pain if i see anyone in pain i just want to run to them and help them but not only that it's like my belief in gods i feel connected to god i have since the very beginning since i was a child and when i was about five years old all of a sudden a church minister moved in next door with his wife and they became my best friends throughout my childhood they were always there for me a strange coincidence i do believe that they were there to protect me so i felt connected to god my entire life and of course i follow buddhist teachings i go to temples sometimes several days a week i pray i'm very mindful very self-aware all of these types of things it prevents us from going over to the dark side with the knocks because they're not doing that they don't really believe even though at times it may seem like i mean they may be going to church to temple it may seem like they're praying they're worshiping they believe in something greater than themselves it may seem that way but then look at their actions look at how they behave that does not line up with someone who is meant to believe in god or an afterlife in karma in the law of cause and effects in the law of attraction whatever it may be their disposition their actions and behaviors do not line up with someone who believes in anything greater than themselves because otherwise that would keep them in line that would keep them in check i mean that's what it does for us isn't it so why doesn't it do that for them i mean of course there is also the possibility they're so delusional that they believe that they are a chosen one but they have a very warped interpretation of what a chosen one is because in fact that does not mean that you could just go around doing whatever you want to people in fact it's quite the opposite it means that you need to be more disciplined than anyone else if you are a true chosen one of god yes that's what that means because you are god's soldier you're his representation on this earth so you need to set an example but yeah they may have a warped interpretation of what a chosen one of god actually is maybe that's where the arrogance and sense of entitlement comes from to where they think that they can just do whatever they want or maybe they just don't believe in anything that's another possibility as well but whatever it is i would say that they don't really believe but whether they believe or not attitude and behaviors it's not going to lead them anywhere good and i think we can all agree on that we must show good character we must be disciplined we must love and support each other i mean that's really it for me anyone who does not love and instead their immediate disposition is hate envy jealousy that just kind of tells me everything i need to know about them because it's like if you really believe in what is coming after this life you wouldn't be doing that you want to be thinking in that way towards me or anyone else you wouldn't be seeking to harm anyone if you're really if you really believed if you really knew what is coming you wouldn't be doing that at all and that's why the way i am the way that i am that's why i'm a vegan i've been a vegan for so many years i mean i'm not completely perfect sometimes i slip up i would admit that i mean it's difficult when i'm traveling the world especially in certain areas i'm in the jungle in the mountains but i try to avoid eating meat at all costs sometimes i just have to completely starve myself if i have to but yeah i do my best to avoid harming anything unnecessarily because i know exactly what is coming i know what's going to happen i believe that's what i'm very careful with what i do what i think where i go how i behave how i treat other people and whatever i do i make sure that i do it with love i always try to just share the love i always try to just exist in that frequency that vibration but these narcissists so is low vibe with them they're always so full of hate and it just makes me question their belief in anything at all because if they really believed would they really be doing that probably not how they know you're done they know you're done in most cases when you are following a higher purpose when you found deeper meaning to your life whether it's through religion and spirituality or it may be a charitable cause these types of things it should help to reveal to them that you are done and hopefully then they will leave you alone they will get the message of course those of which who are completely delusional they still might not understand but that's really the best you can do other than getting a restraining order calling the police even then that can be difficult as well even if you do decide to go down that road a lot of police are narcissistic so are lawyers judges many of them are but yeah just following that higher purpose hopefully that should help hopefully that should reveal to them that you are done let me know how it goes for you in the comment section down below let me know if this works I'm sure for some of you it will but maybe not for all it does depend on the type of narcissists you're dealing with but yeah I see we've got over 100 live viewers only 50 thumbs ups please hit that thumbs up button down below very important as it helps the youtube algorithm to get this message out there for other viewers so hit that thumbs up button it'll take you two seconds to do that and hit the subscribe button and click all notifications so that you will be notified when I upload a video and if you'd like to book a one-on-one coaching session with me just go to my website it is narksabiver.co.uk and you can also follow me on instagram it's narksabiver youtube all right that's it for this one live from this Japanese style room in my kimono thank you all for joining me there is a premiere that will be beginning in about four hours so hopefully you can join us there other than that I look forward to talking with you in another live video very soon you will have a great day


Hey, Psych2Goers. Thanks so much for your support. Before we begin, we want to make a disclaimer that this video is not made to attack anyone, but rather it's made to be a self-improvement guide for those of you who have been feeling a little stuck. With that said, let's begin. Do you think that if you surround yourself with smart, positive people, that you'll be more successful in life? Do you think that same logic can apply to having toxic people in your life as well?  But how do you know if the company you keep is positive or toxically negative? There are certain behaviors and personality traits that can wind up attracting toxic people into your life. So here are six undeniable reasons why you attract toxic people. Number one.  Do you often find yourself trying to make other people happy at your own expense? As a people pleaser, you might think that you actually have no value to people unless you're doing something for them. You're someone who rarely says no to others because you fear that they'll be unhappy or disappointed in you.  Number two. You're generous with your time. Being generous with your time is a very desirable character trait because you form stronger bonds and relationships with others when you put more of your time into them. But do you feel like there are some people who abuse this trait of yours? Toxic people are extremely attracted to people who are generous with their time because they know that you'll drop anything that you're doing to tend to their requests and demands. They'll call you up, not caring if they interrupt your day, so they can talk to you about their problems. They expect you to be there to listen to them or will call you for favors and expect you to come to their aid immediately. In the end, it's up to you to set some boundaries to avoid them from abusing your time. Number three. You have a rescuer personality. If you have a rescuer personality type, you see yourself as a white knight and you're someone who jumps in compulsively and often uninvited to save others. You have a deep desire or need to save other people and want to fix their problems. As a rescuer, you believe you have the necessary influence, charm or persuasive powers to help change people or their situations for the better. Does this behavior align with your own? This kind of behavior can unwittingly attract toxic people into your life. Similar to how they like people-pleasers, toxic people will try to take advantage of your fixer upper or do-good mentality to manipulate you into solving all of their problems for them. You have a good nature and a good heart and you don't deserve to let someone take advantage of you in this way. Number four.  Does confrontation make you uncomfortable and put you at unease? Do you fear confrontation and try to avoid it? If you struggle with confronting others, you're likely someone who attracts toxic people.  They know they can get away with their bad behaviors around you. A toxic person will take advantage of your preference to understand and accept their flaws over trying to confront them and tell them that what they're doing is wrong. It's a really slippery slope with toxic people. If you feel like you're being pushed around, then put on your big kid undies and establish boundaries for yourself to separate you from them. The best thing you can tell a toxic person is a firm and solid no. Number five. You are loyal. Do you have a romantic partner who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself? Do you stay in an abusive relationship because you feel a sense of loyalty to them? Or do you keep coming over to help a family member who takes advantage of you and your time but won't help you with anything in return? Just like generosity, loyalty is one of the most attractive personality traits that you can have.  Toxic people are attracted to your loyalty because they know that they'll have someone to count on whenever they need you but won't ever do anything for you in return. People who take advantage of you don't deserve your loyalty. And number six. You are overly open and honest. Does lying make you uncomfortable?  Being overly open and honest can be very attractive to toxic people. That's not to say that being honest is bad but toxic people will take advantage of your heartfelt genuineness.  Toxic people are attracted to this trait. Toxic people know that no matter what they say you'll believe that they're telling the truth. They love the fact that they can get away with anything they do or say around you. To combat this be a little more selective about who you open up to. Trust your gut and intuition and avoid the people that make you feel uncomfortable. You don't have to tell your whole life story to everyone you meet because not everyone you meet will have the best intentions. As we close out we want to be clear that you shouldn't change your good nature just because you got yourself into a toxic situation. Your good virtues are important and valid. There's no reason to change who you are. You aren't weak or disadvantaged more than anyone else's. Just remember to set up healthy boundaries and don't let anyone abuse your good personality traits. Or make you feel worthless or invaluable because you're worth so much more than that. Did you relate to any of these reasons? Let us know in the comments. Please like and share this video if it helped you and you think it could help someone else too. The studies and references used are listed in the description below. Don't forget to hit the subscribe button for more Psych2Go videos and thank you for watching. We'll see you next time.


I'm gonna let you know a little secret here. It doesn't take three to six months to build or to redesign a website. Welcome to the We Are Slam show where you'll learn marketing agency insights, best practices, and ideas to help your business grow. My name is Tyler Kelly. I'm the co-founder and chief strategist here at Slam Agency. Now this show is for marketing professionals, people that are strategizing, putting together plans to market their companies. It's for small business owners who might not necessarily have somebody in charge of marketing yet. So you're the one that's going out and doing everything on the sales and marketing side. And that's okay. And today's show is an important one. And it's important because you might be at that point in your business or with your brand that you're like, okay, it's time for us to go ahead and redo our website, to get a new website, to launch this new project, we need a website. And what I wanna reveal today is the five questions that you absolutely have to know the answers to before you hire a web designer, before you hire a branding firm that does web design or development. These are the things that you want to go into the conversation knowing so that you make the absolute best decision for your business. And these things are important. They're important because your website is the lifeblood of your business. I mean, people go to your website to verify your credibility to confirm that you are who you say you are.  I mean, these are the things that people are looking for. You know, as a matter of fact, 70% of the purchase decision is already made up before this person, the prospect, your potential customer ever picks up the phone and calls you before they ever step foot in your store. I mean, the decision is already made. 70%, can you believe that? It's true. It's true because what's happening is people are going online first. They're making up their minds online. They're doing their research, their homework online. They're discovering you online.  And so this changes the way that you have to interact with people in this digital world, in this post COVID world. This is how business is being done and you need to be aware of that. So when it comes to this question, there's certain things that you really need to know before you sign on the dotted line, before you make that decision. And these are the things that I'm gonna share with you in this show today. So let's jump right in.  Go to their website and take a look at their website and ask yourself, how does this website make me feel? Is this a good website? And you be the judge of that, because you're the one that's gonna be putting your money forward in this type of relationship. So ask yourself, is what I see here, representative of the type of work that I need done? That's the first question, it's super important. It's the first question that you should be asking yourself. Click on the buttons, click on the links, see if there's typos in the copy. See if there are things that aren't lining up. Go to your phone and see what it looks like on your phone. And see, does it respond well on a mobile device? These are the things that you should be doing first and foremost before, number one, before you set a meeting with somebody, and number two, definitely before you sign on the bottom line, okay? You need to understand that they've put in the work to make their website shine. If their website doesn't shine, if it's not updated, if there are misspellings or typos or incorrect grammar, then these are the, or they're just not mobile responses. I mean, the list goes on and on and on of what makes a good website. If it's slow, if it takes time to load, if you search for the business's name and they don't pop up in Google search, these are the types of things that might make you think, well, if their brand name isn't popping up in Google search, then perhaps there's a problem with the way they've optimized their website. And maybe there would be a problem with the way they'd optimize yours. And so, what you're doing is you are becoming a detective and you're kind of clicking through and you're looking and you're doing a thorough review. You're not just gonna go to their homepage, pick up the phone and call them. You're gonna do a thorough review. You're gonna click on every button.  Is it speaking to me as a potential customer? Does it relate to me? And obviously, does everything work? Are there any broken links? Does the form work? Is there a phone number that I can call or is it just like contact form only? Is there an email? All of these types of things that make a good business website are the things that you should be looking for, first and foremost, when you begin to call on web designers. So that's number one. Number two, and this is assuming that you've already begun discussions and now you're talking about price. Number two is what are you paying for? This is a question that I want you to get used to asking. What am I paying for? What are the things that are gonna be included in this contract? You know, a lot of times when we think about redesigning a website, rebuilding a website, what we think about are just those things that we can see on the surface. What the website looks like, the colors, the fonts. If it's not mobile responsive right now, maybe it's mobile responsive, hopefully after the redesign. But these are just surface things, right? There's so much more that goes into a good website. This includes the way that the story is laid out on the page. It includes the way that it's optimized. These are things that you can't necessarily see. It's how fast does the website load? Is it discoverable in search engines like Google? Is it optimized for that? These are the types of things that a good website has and they're not always things that you see on the surface. It's not always the design, it's not always the look and feel. It might be taking big chunks of content and making them more scannable. Scannable content is super important on a website because people don't read text, they scan text. So these are all the types of things that make a good website. And so these are the things that you need to know and the questions that you need to ask, what am I paying for? What are you paying for? Are you paying for SEO optimization? Are you paying for content rewriting, restructuring? Are you paying for a reorganization of the nuts and bolts of the website, mobile friendliness, mobile responsiveness? Are you paying for these things? Or are you just paying for a refresh? Are you just paying for something that is new colors, new fonts, new typography? And that's it. What are you paying for? And the reason why this is important is because you get what you pay for. I mean, I know this is obvious, but it bears repeating. For instance, website builders. Website builders, and when I say website builder, I'm really referring to like the square spaces, the wicks, the weeblies of the world. Website builders are framed and positioned as something that is super easy, right? But what I know as an agency owner is that these might be easy to get something up and running, but they're not necessarily the types of places that we want to invest in the long term. Meaning, if I'm building a simple site for a campaign or a project, and I want that to get out there fast, and I don't want a whole lot of customization when it comes to the layout or the design, I just want something that is simple, is proven effective, is responsive, and I can just put the information in and get that out there.  This website is going to have a start date, and at some point the campaign is gonna end, it's gonna have an end date. A square space, a weebly, a wicks, perfect for this, okay? What I don't want to use these sites for is a situation where, okay, this is my forever site, this is my site where I'm gonna blog, I'm gonna build a list, and the reason why I don't want to use these sites for that is because I know, you might not know this, but I know this as an agency owner, that at some point you're gonna want something that has more power than these sites are able to provide. If your business is growing and you're evolving as a business, then you're gonna want something more powerful than a square space or a weebly, and when that time comes, it's going to be very difficult, if not nearly impossible to switch from the square space to a real website. At least at this point with the technology that there is and the way that importing and exporting from a square space spot site to a WordPress or a HubSpot site, the way that works, it's very difficult. And the money that you saved from going through to a square space or a weebly in the beginning, the money that you saved then, you're definitely gonna pay later, you're gonna pay later because it's gonna take a lot of time, a lot of effort, and if you hire somebody, it's gonna take a lot more money to get that site from that platform to a more sustainable platform. And so I always say, do WordPress first. Sometimes when you're just starting out, the cost of a square space seems super appealing, but the thing is WordPress, the cost isn't that much more. And so we always direct our clients to WordPress. WordPress first and potentially HubSpot website after that, but WordPress first, stay away from the square spaces, the weebly, the wixas, unless for whatever reason, you've already built a store on one of those sites and you're already bringing in income and the system and the machine works. If you're not in that position, or like I said, if it's just like a temporary site, that you just wanna launch a campaign, launch a project, get it out there quickly knowing that at some point, that site's going to go away.  These are things that you might not be thinking about right now, and that's okay. But trust me, you're gonna save a lot of time, a lot of money, a lot of energy later on if you just go straight to WordPress and just scratch the idea of doing a square space or a weebly or something like that. Okay, number three question that you need to absolutely know the answer to when you're getting ready to hire web design firm or a web developer or something like that. Number three, do they understand sales and marketing? Does this web development company understand sales and marketing? The reason why is because your website is where the sales and the marketing happens. This is where people go to learn about you. It's where they go to confirm that you are who you say you are. And more than just like this pretty website that kind of just sits there like a brochure, a website has to function. A website has to generate leads. It has to capture email addresses. It has to help your potential buyers, your prospects go from one stage in the buyer's cycle to the next. It has to kind of nurture them and bring them along. And as part of that, there's some things you gotta think about. Like how does the email marketing integrate? How does the CRM integrate? You know, how does our advertising, our pay per click, how do these things kind of fit in and work throughout the site? And then how is our messaging, our story? How is that laid out in a way that is compelling? In a way that captivates, motivates and inspires people to action? Like how is this happening? If your developer doesn't understand sales and marketing, then what I would suggest is that you have somebody on the team that does, meaning a marketing director, either in-house or a consultant that you hire, or that you're working kind of like a general contractor in that, okay, I've got this developer, somebody that is good at coding, and then I've gotta have a designer, somebody that's good at making the visual come to life and be impactful, then I have a copywriter, somebody that can put the words on the page in a way that are going to drive demand, and then I have an SEO person, somebody that can optimize the content that the copywriter's put together, somebody that can optimize that content and make sure that it's search engine friendly, and then I have an analytics person, somebody that can install the analytics, make sure that everything's going the way that it needs to go, and possibly even a CRM person, somebody that can make sure that when people land on the site that their information is being collected and then it's being put into the CRM and those people are through sales intelligence, like HubSpot sales, are being nurtured and are being nurtured in a way that will not only drive demand, but drive sales in the future, and so these are all the things that you have to think about and all the things that a good marketing team will think about, and if you're just gonna go out and hire a developer, then by all means make sure you get all these other roles on the team as well, or look for a company or a firm that provides each of the roles that I just mentioned as part of that team that's gonna be built on that website. Okay, the number four question that you absolutely need to know, and this is a big one, what is the timeline? You should absolutely know how long it's going to take to complete your project, okay? I'll let you in on a little secret. A lot of times, at least pre-COVID, the contracts that were put out there by web development firms or web agencies or branding firms would say three to six months on a website, and I'm gonna let you in on a little secret here. It doesn't take three to six months to build or to redesign a website. It never has, I guess maybe in the late 90s or early 2000s, it probably took three to six months when we were doing HTML from scratch pre-word press, but here's the thing, it does not take three to six months to build a website. What may take three to six months is to get you into the rotation, and so what I want you to understand when you think about timeline is how much time are they actually spending on the website itself, and how much time is spent with you just standing in line waiting for your turn with the web development team, okay? Because like I said, it doesn't take three to six months. Generally it takes four to eight weeks, and I'm being generous because I mean, that's working time for somebody to build your website from the ground up. And if it's a redesign, if you're just coming into doing a refresh, then it could potentially take four to six weeks, okay? And so this is the amount of time that people would actually be working on your site. Any other time in that three to six months or in that quote that you have that's over eight weeks is most likely spent with meetings, with some back and forth, and honestly with just getting you in line. You're just in line, you're waiting for your turn. And so what's the timeline? Ask the question and figure out when are we gonna start and what can I see? You know, web development project happens online. And so there's always something that you can see every step of the way. I've never been a fan, slam has never been a fan of the big reveal, meaning that we're not gonna start a project, work it through to completion and then show it to the client. We like to work with the client step by step. And what this means is that you, if you were our client, would be involved every step of the way at every point in that development process, in that copywriting process, in that design process, you're gonna see progress, okay?  You're gonna see the progression. You're gonna see the evolution. You're gonna see somebody working on your site. And this is important when it comes to timeline because you know that people are working on your site. The last thing I want you to be aware of and I want you to know is, does the agency, does the firm, does the developer that you are going to select, do they offer a turnkey solution? This is an important question because websites are more than what you see. I mean, there's domain names. So if this is your first website, somebody has to purchase the domain. I would suggest that that somebody be you. Never let your agency purchase the domain for you. Make sure that you purchase it for yourself. The reason why is it's very difficult to transfer domains and you never wanna get in a situation where you don't own your intellectual property. The other thing that's important is hosting. Do they provide hosting? Is this something that you can count on?  Those computers are called host and so somebody has to pay for hosting. I mean, this isn't free. Is that included as part of your web development design package that you're gonna be signing on the dotted line for? Or is that something that is going to, once your website goes live, is going to be additional? A lot of times, at least here at SLAM, what we do is we provide the first six months of hosting for free and then after that, we'll bill you for hosting. Some people aren't comfortable with giving the hosting to their agency so what they do is they go out and buy their own hosting and that's completely okay too. What else might be included? Well, you might not have a website without photography and so photography of your people, of your location, of your projects, that's important. Perhaps video is something that you want on your website. Are these things included? Are there additional costs to these things and is the person that you're hiring capable of doing all of these things or are there gonna be additional expenses later on down the line because they have to hire people to do these things? Copywriting, SEO, all of the above, I mentioned the rules earlier. Are these things included? Are they extra? Is it all happening in-house under one roof or are you gonna be at the end of the day working with a lot of people? These are the types of questions that you need to be asking so my five absolute must know. Number one is you just gotta go look at the firm's site. Is it something that shows that they're actually good at what they do or have they been dropping the ball when it comes to their website? Number two, what are you paying for? What's included, what's additional? What are you gonna have to bring in later on? Number three, does the firm, does the person that you're hiring understand sales and marketing which in my opinion is something that needs to be understood first before the site comes along because if you build the site and then you try to add sales and marketing to it later, you might have to rebuild the site. Number four, what is the timeline? And number five, do they offer a turnkey solution? These are the questions that I believe you should be asking. You know, over the years, we here at SLAM have had an opportunity to build a lot of sites, redesign a lot of sites and work with other agencies and other contractors who are building and redesigning sites. We've seen the good, we've seen the bad, we've had our own struggles and we've done some really amazing things that have helped our clients get to that next level. So if you're getting ready to start a web design project and you're not quite sure where to start or if you think you might need to make some improvements to your website but you're not quite sure and you just want an honest answer and honest like, does this need work or where can this be improved? Reach out to us. We'd be more than happy to take a look at your website and give you our honest feedback on next steps and where you need to go and where you really should be for your specific situation. You can find us at slamagency.com. Of course, if you're there, just click on the free consultation button.  Those things are super important. Five stars if you believe this was a five star episode. And if you're watching us on social media, leave me a comment in the comments section. I love reading those and responding to those and I appreciate it when you take the time to leave a comment. So thank you for tuning in. I will see you next week. Thanks for watching. If you like what you saw, subscribe and hit that bell. You'll be the first to be notified when new content goes live. After that, you can watch more videos from slamagency. We've picked something we think you'll love.


Hi, I'm ready to order Yeah Yes, can I have one MTV news, please extra funny? Of course, that's the only way we do them Okay After losing over two stone rumors are abound about Sophie Kasai undergoing surgery to help her reduce her weight We got the inimitable lady herself to put the issue to bed. Okay, that explains all this stuff I have obviously lost two store and I've dropped four dress sizes That didn't happen overnight. I was doing these MTV videos whilst I was training and everything But then now everyone thinks I've had liposuction one thing I can promise you I have had no tummy talk I've had no liposuction nothing like that I have a scar on my bum because last year I went to Mexico when I was in Mexico I had a little spot. It's disgusting But this spot then turn into an abscess then I had to go to hospital and I was under a drift that Abscess then got infected. It was drained about one liter of puffs. It's disgusting So the wound is open so you walk around with a big gaping hole So I had two holes in my arse for once and then now it's just turned into an absolute Awful scar I could Photoshop the scar I could get rid of it, but why should I it's part of us? Kim Kardashian takes aim at Lamar Odom over a comment about Chloe I wonder what was said It says on the altic you Lamar appeared on BET's man cave and was talking about how he still has Chloe Kardashian's name tattooed on him Here comes the shade. He said I mean her initials still on me for no reason. I understand when it's over. It's over Wait a second. Where's the shade when she was with her second or third NBA player? I could see that Okay, there is but as we know the Kardashian clan can't cope with crass cusses So cut to Twitter where Kim K fired back she tweeted or second or third brothel I get it because of back in 2015 when Lamar collapsed in a brothel in Las Vegas and was fighting for his life That seems harsh, but as Chrissy Teigen put it But that's not all Kim's been up to she's also explained her cryptic Louis Vuitton post after it convinced fans She was teasing a baby name turns out She just wanted to take a picture of LV, but that's not all Kim's been up to she also broke apart Everyone's Kylie was her surrogate theories after some eagle-eyed fans noticed Kylie's due date was strangely close to that of Kim Case surrogate turns out. She's just used a gestational carrier a woman who carries a baby that the mother has no biological relationship to But that's not all Kim's been up to. Oh, no way. It is Sorry Videos of the Tide Pod challenge have been banned by YouTube in an attempt to stop people from eating laundry tablets If you haven't heard already, here's the full story people won't stop eating laundry detergent Oh, what that's it the website CollegeHumor published a funny video starring Rob Gronk Gronkowski called don't eat the laundry pods and yet somehow teenagers started doing exactly the opposite in a new YouTube challenge Now before you rush off and join them Let me break down the pros and cons of eating washing machine chemicals cons They are washing machine chemicals.  There's no pros. Thirty-nine teenagers have misused the pods in 2018 alone And so in a move to stop the trend someone at youtubers finally decided that videos of children literally poisoning themselves is not okay And should be banned. I'll leave you with a quote from mega company proctor in gamble the makers of Tide pods laundry packs are made to clean clothes They sure are proctor in gamble. They sure are Hey, was everything okay with your meal? Well, honestly, it didn't have enough laughs for me Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but you're wrong. It was hilarious. Get out of here. All right. Okay. Sorry, then I'm off


Welcome back with us folks a little bit of brain-picking tonight on why I decided to go with DAL Delta Airlines after earnings this morning now, you know that this morning Delta reported better than expected EPS, which was negative, but still and revenues were much better than expected as well, so This is the chart from yesterday Please apologize for the one minute, but we were scalping it Early in the day and you'll see why it's on the one minute. So this was yesterday before earnings so you see that it was a slow bleed until the end of day where There was a big drop just at the bell down to 4103 and Straight after that it started rising I mean they reported this morning, but if they were that bearish people would keep on Selling in my opinion. So what happened after they reported is This we had a little bit of a climb and people were kind of impressed because they were expected expecting more of a drop in lesser sales and Worse DPS and it was better than expected now What the way I see it is this If people were so bearish on it, we would have dropped Below yesterday's low. We did not and see what happens at the open. Now. This is the one minute and That dark green line is the 200 DMA oddly enough It gets a stop right on the 200 DMA And then it starts coming down Right, so we expect people taking profit Then it rises and it still gets rejected I mean we are pretty close to a straight line even if you know, we're I believe a little lower Going down but see this as resistance Now if Straight up let's say we open we go like this and straight up we see a candle and then a next candle up We know we're going to start to get bullish. We did not so basically we're waiting to see Where we're going to find support. We know the previous day was 41 on three and We did not get there and right away. We started picking up higher than this low so if we had been bearish We would have seen something like this Not hitting the lower at least not that much and then starting to fall down Follow our line. We were a little above here and this is where I alerted the 42 The 42 calls for this week Now it turned down where? Same spot same as this which is a little higher than that 4103 I believe was 4105 pennies away yet We are a little higher than the previous day and We're moving up. I mean this is after earnings. This is after people saw earnings that weren't that great Spy at that time was going that way. So basically we are going with the momentum of the day on a double bottom So basically this would have been the stop line Because we would get into bearish territories, which is lower than the previous day lower than Before earnings where people were selling up until that point and now that earnings have gone people are no longer selling Because we're a little higher than that point if we had been lower. I believe it would have flushed The idea was to see how we could bounce on that double bottom. So we alerted here I thought we could climb right away with spy. We did not we tested that line again and now it was a straight up here Why my Target was in the this area You see rejection rejection rejection rejection What's going to happen when it gets there? It was on high volume. I guess it poked through we were lucky enough to get 100% on that play as we reached in the money and then some however This was the initial target as we were not going through bullish We would Do this would have carried on but not started going down for a retest of that line, but the idea was to sell on Target for a very short duration Which is you know only a few minutes because this is the one-minute chart We're looking at here So the idea you have to look at your target if you want to sell on a specific target that you just you decide Ahead of time. I suggest you go see a video that I have done. I think it was last December and It's called conditional orders that you can set on thinkorswim where you Actually set a line. Let's say you want to sell your calls at a specific line. I believe this was 41 89 You can set say sell my call position at 41 89 so this avoids greed specifically if you are on a scalp So remember for this the idea was to look at previous day low Which was 41 oh three we never went below that low we bounced on it here very close to it and the idea is to go for reclaim of that resistance that we had pre-market and after the bell you've heard that one before telling me telling you that you know we start from the bottom and resistance of pre-market, this is exactly what we did here and I'm showing it. I'm showing it to you again so the more you see this happen the more you'll see that it's feasible to have a Bottom that you decide from the previous day or a very specific resistance point or support and Target is your Resistance at pre-market and in this particular case pre-market pre-market after the bell after the bell That's that's where we we actually sold. I Hope this makes sense. I hope you can learn a little bit from this and I'll see you again soon folks you