there was a whole year where I thought like I shouldn't do this anymore which is crazy for a 25 and 26 year old to be asking themselves that you know and so that literally that's why I was like I'm not gonna teach character stuff forever I was like I just want I want anyone to take class and realize like they don't have to maybe feel like one school is their identity because I think it was a real mind fuck and I think it you know was also like you guys got to update your system I think this year really opened up a lot of schools eyes to that and they're really trying to like change the infrastructure of it but I hope that isn't just like a blanket statement to get press off their case and that they really follow through with that because otherwise it just isn't indicative of comedy right now. This is Started to Store Front, the podcast where we inspire entrepreneurship through truth. Today's guest is Hannah Pilkis, the comedian, actress and writer. Hannah got her start in the Kevin Bacon drama The Woodsmen. If you're familiar with that movie you'll know it's about as far from comedy as a movie can get but acting in the movie was enough to reinforce Hannah's love for performing and though it took a while she did eventually find her own voice and a following on Vine. Thankfully Hannah's career has lasted much longer than the platform that launched her. She continues to reach a wide audience today through her stand-up performances, comedy skits on social media and is even writing and developing a TV show. So listen in as we cover everything from why she doesn't consider what she writes to be jokes, how she's managed to continuously promote her activism alongside her comedy and why she thinks 80% of stand-up in the Midwest should probably cease to exist. Now back to the episode. All right welcome to the podcast on today's show Hannah Pilkis. Thanks for joining. Thanks for having me. Please introduce yourself as the world knows you. Hi I'm a comedian, actress, writer, I hate the slashes but it's what I am Hannah Pilkis and I'm super excited to be here. So Natalia has this thing where she cackles every once in a while and I know that's like true comedy at least for her like she has this like deep cackle. He loves it but it's horrible. And it makes me laugh. Ooh a weird one laughs a better is a better laugh in my by my metric. It's real weird. Is it? Yeah you haven't heard it yet. So like she's watching yeah you'll hear it. I hope I get to. When she's watching your Instagram in particular she's cackling.  I love picturing you like at a bar or something just like with this awful cackle. It's bad. Then you're like sorry it's a minute long video. Yeah just in space and just something else please. What made you want to get into comedy like how soon did you want to go down that path?  Were you always into it? I did a lot of dramatic acting. I was in a movie called The Woodsmen that was the first thing I ever did with Kevin Bacon where he plays a pedophile. Yeah I think I've seen that. Really heavy. What role did you play in that? Like a victim of abuse so naturally. Not comedy. I said we're into comedy because I see this one. No we're starting dark. Definitely a non-linear progression there. Totally well I think I realized how much I love like performing but I realized over the years doing like second city and groundlings in these different schools how much I love having my hands and other elements of the creative process and I feel like comedy just came a little pretty naturally to me in that like regard. So I still love both but I just I love comedy so much. So it kind of felt like the world was pulling me in that direction with online stuff and so I was like okay this is this is what I'm gonna do. And was it like stand-up that you would try your comedy? Like what did you just try it at home? What was like the thing? You know it's I've done all all the things but I would say online was always like the most traction on you know Vine and Instagram and now TikTok I guess. And all my shows I would host like variety type shows so they would have stand-ups but then I would be able to do you know I'd have a stand-up and then I would do like Every Mother in a Horror Movie and The Lights Would Change and I would do this whole weird character thing where I'd be like Billy or you know whatever. Your impressions. Yeah I mean I just I would just love I like. Wait like what? Like weird observational comedy or I'll do like and now a Dutch chef is going to come teach you a recipe and I would come on as a Dutch chef. I mean like it definitely didn't make the cool girl in comedy. But I was like I gotta be authentic to me. And this was all in LA here in LA or were you somewhere else? LA I mean all over yeah I I brought a show to Edinburgh a couple years ago or right before the pandemic the summer for the pandemic that was like a character driven comedy show about Disney princesses that was really raunchy and edgy and it was like an adult comedy about like the cackles coming out. We played like right there you know the ketamine up parents we played the kids we played the princesses we played the woke balloon artists like it was this really immersive fun weird show and I kind of like that immersive element I think that's why I like the internet is it feels like like recently I did a who is she series where I just asked people to tell me what this person was in a wig and then I did my 10 favorites I got like hundreds of responses and it was so fun because it was like this interactive kind of way of doing comedy. Yeah it's so fascinating. So you started out on Vine or like that was like were you like yeah exactly I was I'm curious like I know that there's some basics that every comedian must have but I know that for each platform there's also it's a very specific route that you have to take to in order to kind of sell yourself on that like it's different from Vine to YouTube to stand up. One example of this is I saw King Bach. King Bach yeah. Bach yeah and I saw him at it. It says it's spelled like Bach so I don't know why would you know it's Bach without the T but you know it's your defense. Yeah it's the ACH so you're like Bach. Right that's how I pronounce it. And named after the composer. I saw him at a Groundlings special and you know I know he's massive online and he has a lot of followers and he's he's funny because he knows that platform but when he was at Groundlings doing stand-up live in person he was easily the worst one on the stage and it was clear that he was taking Groundlings to prove it bro. This was a couple years ago so I think he's gotten better or yeah. I mean King Bach is brilliant but I also think that to your point I mean I had to kind of learn that in due I would be when I was crushing it the most on Vine that's when my live performing took the biggest hit and I had to sort of learn that they're completely different skill sets so and same thing with like an Edinburgh show where you're it's heavily dependent on the audience and you have to take the temperature of the room and what you had written might have to change on the spot if it's like an older audience or a younger audience. Improv element. Yeah whereas and also when you're on the internet you get to self-edit so I mean there's like beauty to both but it's like there is nothing like like I remember one of the shows we did Edinburgh was like it was a late night's show so and everyone was wasted and one girl Scottish girl because we're in Scotland she's like you're not funny you're gross and I was like and I remember like my girl like brushed a tear and then I was like but you know what there is a beauty to this happening is like I'm feeling like a visceral response whereas you can't really feel internet trolls you know it's like yeah but it is such a different I think you have to really know how to turn it on in each way and there's no one way to do it I don't think you have to take skin too it seems oh yeah oh yeah I mean that girl was wasted and apparently got kicked out of a bunch of shows because she was just like a heckler for sport it builds character yeah for sure but it is easier to just do the internet stuff sometimes when you're like I'm going through a sensitive patch I can just filter through the comments I don't like you know how do you make it in comedy like what is so the traditional path I would imagine is you know you start doing these comedy sellers or stuff like that and then maybe you're getting like the prime time spots and then ideally like somebody sees you and puts you in a TV show but today there's some like to your point there's Vine there's Instagram I don't know that there's one way anymore I mean like I'm developing a show now that I wrote you know and that's been much more my how did that kick off so I was lucky that people were fans of Instagram and then you know and then I had written a sample and I developed a show to be able to one thing I've learned is you can't rest on any one thing like it's not like you know people said for a lot of years I go to meetings and they'd be like your videos are great and I'd be like yeah and they were like and what and I didn't have any what so you have to have the what ready to go in every I think you just really have to have cylinders out everywhere like coals in every fire kind of thing just never stop yeah right I'm lucky that I have a really patient partner who knows that I'm kind of going to always be the wheels are always turning but I found someone that's really good at helping me take like week-long breaks sometimes because I think those are also important to refuel and do you spend a lot of time like creating so when you think about creating a video for Instagram do you spend a lot of time either writing that out or does that come more natural compared to like what's on stage I don't really like to write things out I like to discover it by whether like whether I put the wig on and then spend an hour just improvising as that person maybe to my detriment sometimes I don't like to write things out but like it's so different when you're writing a script or something but comedy wise I think I find things more organically when I'm not in my like super cerebral brain so I'll put the wig on and just film and then I'll look at the 20 minutes and be like what are the two minutes of gold that I like within this okay I yeah I think I like being really immersed in something more than I like a computer screen that's like podcasting I think is low it's more freeform and like sometimes if you try to outline it you you basically make the room a lot smaller like you make it compressed and nothing can flower develop and then it's just like bad totally no I think it's really really hard to like boil down something to like you know and that's a very specific purpose for something you know when I'm pitching something I have to make it more surgical and specific but the joy of comedy and podcasting and as like the discoveries you make along the way I think yeah otherwise I think it's just not that fun for me and if it's not fun then I'm like then why would I do this career path you know totally do you have like a dream sequence of events yeah like that I sell that my show and that I get to wear those hats like creator and one of the stars of it and probably writing as well so what's your ideal network that you'd sell it to it'd be streaming for sure okay blue or netflix hbo max so you obviously wrote that in mind as opposed to like you know seven minute act breaks in between for broadcast yeah I definitely didn't write it to be a multicam or like a I mean it's definitely more not adult as in you know after hours adult but I think it caters and gears more to a streaming audience and that I'd love to have more permission to kind of go to those places a little bit and I think like HBO max I think is taking really amazing risks comedically and also genre bending and telling you know even not comedic like I may destroy you and I just think they're taking really cool risks and telling stories in a really nuanced way like I made a story it was all about assault in a really artistic and poetic and I think it's starting conversations and ideally even the comedy I'm watching like I like the show hacks I love starts a conversation and and like my favorite comedy right now the one I'm creating multiple shows I'm creating have these older veteran comedians with the up and coming ones because I think it's a really cool hybrid and I think we love like I want to watch these comedy queens you know it seems like young comedians want to see like what's in the head the mind of you know that legend yeah and the legends want to see well these kids I mean are so different than me and they're coming up with all this technology you know what's going through their minds and wanting to bridge that gap and without boiling that down to some trope where it's like kids and their gadgets you know it's like there's something to be learned from each side and I feel like there's something that's kind of cool that's happening right now where it's like we're listening to Gen Z more and also like some boomers have a point you know like I don't know I mean certainly not politically at a lot of ways but like you know and a lot of I just think it's like a cool melding of the world so what's the culture like in terms of Gen Z millennials versus boomers in terms of just comedians is there generally a support system where the the older crowd the old guard tends to help those coming up next I mean yes like I think it's kind of all who who your circles are one of the reasons that and this isn't any sort of slight on stand-up I admire stand-ups ability to really like stand on their own two feet oftentimes without the support of others and yet mikes and shows offer that sort of camaraderie but I've always loved collaboration for that reason and like writing these ensemble sort of projects because I like the idea of like working in tandem with these like more powerful like comedians that are maybe more well versed in it again I think it's like surrounding yourself with people that aren't coming from a competitive place and rather like there's room for everybody and you can have a totally different experience out here and I feel like the first few years of my time out here were with probably me in the wrong places thinking like there could only be one funny woman which is like now I'm so of the opposite camp where I'm like if I can't do this I'm going to recommend these five people for this that you know it's just better that way and I think energetically it's better that way and also again we've so many platforms there is room for everybody there really is we're all from the east coast too and I know you are too from New York yeah and I think we all share this where we all came out to LA and and felt that that there was room for everyone and that you know your competitors back east where here your collaborators and that LA is just such a spot for that it's just been so amazing and it's cool because then you can you can kind of bring that mentality back east with you and you I also just think the times are changing a bit right it's competitive as ever and yet I feel like if I have a win so many people that I know will share it and prop me up and and we all do the same for each other and it's it's like this trust and this like confidence is really sexy right now which is nice like I feel like there was an age of self-deprecation being like the thing I remember a lot of my comedy being like I'm tall and now I'm like I'm fucking tall like it's so funny how the very same thing can be now a strength to me but it's like we're celebrating that confidence in a way that I don't think we were before and it's nice it's like no it's people don't it's not arrogance it's like let people celebrate who they are you know it's more fun to play though anyway it also seems like there's more chance for collaboration so like with this show that you're developing I'm sure that you I don't know I'm gonna assume that you maybe wrote some of the parts with people that you know in mind for them and it goes back to every like generation has had their groups like you think of the Freaks and Geeks group that has come up and done everything together and they're always in each other's movies and they're you know you think of the Danny McBride group that has come up again and done everything together like if I feel like this culture like you surround like you said you surround yourself with a great group and they celebrate your successes you celebrate theirs and it's always with the goal that like a rising tide lifts all ships thousand percent and I think with comedy it really is that and it's like it is a slow burn like it's so funny to liken it to wine or something but I really feel like in comedy's case people really do arrive at their voices a little bit later not not always you know you have your hand eye benders who really knew at an early age your boat burnums but ideally whoever has their first big win it's like well I know this person to their core I know their strengths and how to write for them which also made the process of writing so fun because yeah there's so many people that immediately come to mind and what's cool about the internet is having formed these relationships with people I've really admired just because of Instagram that otherwise you would have to go through reps and all these things and now you kind of feel like oh there's more validity to me because we've kind of gotten to befriend each other in this weird sort of space you know but yeah I mean I think we're all of the camp that's like whoever pops off first there's a spot for you there with me kind of thing would you ever do stand up or do you I do I'll do like storytelling stand up where I do character within stand up I've never toured as a stand up it's just never been my like primary goal sometimes I'm like what do I have to say as Hannah like I just I think I have way more fun throwing on away other characters XY other girl or anyone not gender specific but yeah I mean I love the art of stand up if I was to do more of it I think it would be like more Maria Bamford adjacent where it's kind of going in and out of these different personalities and I just think she's so fearless and man I don't know if I yeah it would take I'd have to like really commit to just doing that because you can't just jump into doing stand up totally yeah yeah we had a friend of ours who uh Justin who ended up like with a major comedian like major whoa but he doesn't drink and these this comedian drank a lot and like just party basically it was show party show party show party and because he didn't drink the comedian didn't like help him really like he wasn't making that come we're not hanging out after hours or before the show like and so then like he felt like his career became basically a function of if am I going to drink or not am I gonna have a good time not at all surprising yeah and so he like he became disillusioned with comedy in general because he he was really trying to go the stand up route and so he was like okay if I'm not in this group anymore and they badmouth me to this group will another group take me on what do they want and it was like this very sad time for him where he had to rediscover himself and he started going to the internet because of that like all of a sudden he was posting way more and like creating his own content and getting creative in a different way I mean the in the stand up world can be really dark depend again like I said depending on your circles he found my introduction to it was like kind of lecherous and creepy and like I was like I'm the only woman here there's a bunch of white guys straight white guys just talking about like fucking a girl and I'm like this isn't I'm not into it you know but what's cool is now especially in that like you have your Jared Goldstein's your nori reeds you have McStulture you have all these really cool comedians doing stand up in a different way which I think makes me much more inclined to go do the shows because it's rewriting what that narrative looks like Kat Cohen oh I love Kat Cohen so much we were at Edinburgh at the same time Kat I mean yeah the list goes on and on Keeperland yeah Matt Rogers Bowen Yang like comedians that are doing it their way and making it okay to not have to do the kind of Midwest alcoholic straight energy which is like really what deterred me initially and is kind of not being as rewarded as much so yeah it is a weird thing I always just think about Joe Rogan because I'm like I know him from podcasting and then I saw him on stage I was like oh this guy's kind of funny yeah but I don't know him in that way I just know him in like the interviewing Elon Musk way I've never seen him do stand up oh yeah he puts a lot of time in as a complete novice so or if I see a chef make a dish I'm like oh that guy just took everything that I already had here and made something that I could never make yeah and so our jokes the same way where it's like you could just it's like oh move this ingredient over here right so a comedian that I love Nick Shepard they started a mural company called very gay paint it's a couple they're two of my best friends Jensen Titus and Nick Shepard they'd be great guests as well very gay paint and they make and they like blow the fuck up they were just an arch digest and it's crazy but anyway like Nick's favorite thing to do is like find the formula of the joke and his brain is like he's like kind of like a beautiful mind when it comes to joke writing and I just don't think I have that gene like in fact I don't even know if what I write are jokes or rather they're observations of human behavior and also just a lot of absurdity you know I I would say my set if I you know when I do stand up or when I perform is much more from like a storytelling lens just leaning into like the funny things we do is people and exaggerating that but I think like yeah it's jokes are so impressive I think that was my initial thing was I was like I don't think I don't want to write jokes so then stand up but it is changing from that it doesn't have to be that but I want to try this it's hard I have a story that I think is hilarious okay I'm gonna try this is gonna go well it's it might I think we're gonna just try this yeah so this is about Natalia and me being married to Natalia which is what stand-up is right you just make fun of the people around where you just put people on the spot we're taking from personal like that was another thing was I was like oh my god there's nothing off like when you're up there and you're feeling I'm like I've divulged everything yeah and I'm lucky that Greg's cool with it but like I've dated people where they were like were you planning on carrying everything like he was getting off I'm sorry they're all just really working out on our role it gave it all money yeah yeah so there's a memory no just getting it's nothing to do with that so the joke goes like this and so this is based on reality and in my head this is like hilarious how to tell this story I'm not really sure about so we'll see in my family being like latino in general if you gained a little bit away oh boy and you went to like a birthday party some like your aunt would be like gordito like all like the first word so you got that right you got that instant feedback so just body image galore but like yeah instant feedback yeah yeah so that's that was your cushioned with like yeah we love you no matter how fat you got so that was your cue to go maybe stop the cookies basically yeah but you knew yeah and so it happened around every family gathering so I just grew up with the instant feedback loop and then my sister everything so here's the thing so here's the thing so you get the little jab it can be great and also probably really great and terrifying like my family family is not that honest we're gonna get that so so you get the little jab and then your sister somewhere at this party right and she goes I told you he's fat and so your sibling would just cement it boom over right right right because in the meat like you're at home you got a sibling you're like am I getting a little chubby you just might be like absolutely yeah but you don't believe it she's a hater right okay right siblings are blood just to stick with me so this is this is how I was raised okay in this environment of instant feedback loops specifically around like birthdays family events dinners which happen all the time in like a latino community we're not gonna say who you're talking about no we're not no we're not gonna say yeah all right so Natalia has someone in her family and a lot of people really and so there's a lot of people loving this putting everyone on blast yeah yeah Italian family I mean however we craft the joke is at least in my head doesn't matter but to me this is hilarious so Natalia is face timing with a family member and I'm there next to her I'm like hey and all of me wants to say you're looking a little chubby all of me is like you plumped up right yeah but a good time right I get it right we've all been there so I'm looking at it I like you're gonna tell her literally she's face on it we operate here no we like no you don't know wait this is on face time wait you're gonna call you're gonna be like by the way great to see you you've rounded out so we know that iPhone camera adds so many pounds so my corner going like this inverted lens my family does that my family instant again instant feedback if you're looking if you're looking fab also like you're looking great oh they're your high team they're your high team they're they're just there for you really and to keep it honest and so I'm watching this like you're not gonna like I'm in the background like what the fuck like you gotta say something and she's like no no no no and I'm like oh okay so we get off the phone we like fight about this I'm like you don't you don't just tell like is it me it seemed pretty obvious I mean like she looks in the mirror she knows this isn't something right so then it's like do you have to reinforce it so I'm like confused so Natalia is like we don't do this and she gets all mad at me and I'm like I'm just saying in my family this is like grounds for improvement this is not criticism this is I'll wake up so if a family member would say like oh gordito or whatever like you're looking like would you then be like all right time to time yeah you would be like that you would feel like that was a thank you for the gesture yeah what a funny it's so it's so strange there's so many things I don't I don't know if I understand yet so this is like the t-up right so then it gets better so then I see like this is three days later and by this time like this this fight has subsided because I was legitimately confused like you don't operate this way like I was like what he's like an anthropologist when it comes to yeah I become like anthropologist like thread right like the map of yeah but I know so then Natalia is in her closet and she's like putting a bunch of no it wasn't like that though hey my story my story my story listen I I was doing it a Marie Kondo moment okay okay irrelevant clearing this area and Natalia and the person that she was on the phone with were the same size at one time definitely not anymore okay so I was getting rid of clothing so I was reminded Natalia's getting rid of clothing and I'm like oh what do you know she's like oh I want to ship clothes to person family member so I go down I was purging like that's some gangster fucking shit she won't tell you to your face but she'll ship you a bag of clothes you will not fit in but he interpreted that because just to get her point across no I mean it's a funny joke it's not rooted reality it's incentive that is gangster to your point that's a grenade going on it's like I used to date someone from the UK and like the way that we would have all said the same thing but they're like roundabout repressed like we went to see fucking Hamilton and like I'm balling and I'm the only one and everyone else is like small claps golf claps there's just no emoting and sharing and like sharing feelings but did you mean it that way I did not I hundred percent did not but you see what I'm saying and I was just absentmindedly like yeah there's half of this stuff I don't even I think if we were going to do a page one rewrite we would make sure we've gotten consent from all parties and also I understand how you say it's rooted in reality but it's like you know a joke in the making for sure that is like joking the making you might as well have something COVID in a box it was like wow you're about to give this person a legit issue I mean that literally is a scene in spanglish is it really Leonie buys Sarah Steele her daughter I don't know why he knows this movie so well she buys her daughter all these clothes and then her daughter's so happy and then she's like eight eight eight and she keeps looking in the moment and the mom's like you'll fit into them which is just the worst that's the worst way to tell someone something it almost I don't know which one's better I also don't want somebody to be like that you know I don't know which and that wasn't I didn't mean you are I just you know I'm not sure makes like I'm trading for I'm working so hard no one notices no I just I don't know what's what's the right approach I laughed about this for a day there's a lot of jokes between our cultural differences yeah but that is such a thing it's so funny that is such a yeah I mean my dad's like super Dutch and right Cossipi in there you know did they move to the States after having my dad moved from Holland when he was like 18 or 19 but his accent would suggest otherwise because he's like very like it sounds like he could have left like yesterday from Holland but I never want him to lose his amazing I think at this point he probably never will he probably never will yeah and it is like such a part of his charm and it's also like when you're getting married or when you're like families are joining it's like the first time that you think about what different energies and like what different backgrounds like families coming together like and what what was it like when you moved out here like were they supportive or they are super supportive okay amazing they were awesome I mean I couldn't have had more supportive parents you know so many people's parents are like why are you doing this you know but I think that they really my mom wanted to be an actress in college and I think she was just really sensitive and would like not get one audition and would cry a lot and realize that this is probably really unhealthy I would argue unhealthy for anybody but I honestly didn't feel like I had a choice like I was like well this is what I meant to do so well how old were you when you were in the woodsman I was 11 or 12 wow yeah and so after that I did a lot of drama yeah but then I took a break from acting to like go to high school and I didn't pick up again till I was like 18 or 19 I just was like if I don't do this it's probably gonna be bad I'm probably gonna drink a lot and and I still did in my early 20s but like from a healthy place yeah it wasn't sophisticated yeah totally yeah sophisticated binge drinking when you're 21 some of the actors and because my brother is an actor and so like he started Groundlings as a way to not because he thinks of himself like as this like comedy legend but because he knew it would help him with his acting just the improv nature of it and I know a lot of people actually discover it through that and like whether they're a lot of it out here is through the Groundlings program or Second City LA or Upright Citizens Brigade but they discover that you know just the act of the learning like the yes ands and playing off of one another and and building it up and always trying to support the story and and lead towards something is something that they can bring towards any kind of acting whether it be drama or comedy and you know with your route I know we've kind of jumped back and forth but like I believe you went to the Groundlings is that correct yeah I did everything pretty much I would say that's probably the best way to utilize those schools like I loved my training at Groundlings I was on the UCB Characters Welcome team I guess I still am but then the pandemic hit and we would do different characters monthly which was great and I did all of Second City Conservatory and would like perform in a running show there I just never loved like I think it's better to approach it like I want to become a stronger actor I want to gain some skills and the reason that as a past time I started teaching character classes now was because I just felt like these institutions like crush people's confidence and identity oftentimes I'm not trying to speak in like broad terms about it I think that there's so many great things about it I just think people don't make a company and they assume so much about themselves that they might just sort of matched a specific mold but I think like the training is invaluable I think we're also kind of departing from that you know it seems like as a result of the pandemic a lot of people are like well I'm a pioneer in my own right and I make content online and I started my own school or you know whatever and I think yeah taking things from each is really great I just I never felt like anyone made perfect sense for me is that why you did a little bit of of each one yeah I mean I think that's why I did a little bit of each one and started to make my own stuff a lot more was I just didn't want to feel like my only stage and performance opportunities were like the hierarchy of a school you know so I think it's like I've loved being on a team at one place or I've loved doing a run of a show at one place but the industry is so hard already and it can feel hard when there's hierarchy within a company because there is a very defined hierarchy within those I know just within groundlings there's like stage one that's the entry level everyone goes through it and then not everyone graduates to level two like they'll keep you in level one if they don't feel you're ready or whatever but then let's say you make it to level two then you're still like a level three and then there's like three more levels after that where you eventually you might end up on the like the main stage squad and then from there that's where a lot of people jump off to Saturday Night Live or back in the day mad tv or whatever it might be but it's it's a pretty clearly defined path like Scientology yeah and it's and I think like if it works your way like that's great but you know in my case no women made the company no no women voted it was all white guys voting it felt like a really corrupt system so you had to fit there and I knew I didn't and I remember like company members writing to me and being like this is insane we wish we could do something and I'm like but you can't and I'm lucky that I had built enough outside of that for that not to be but there was a whole year where I thought like I shouldn't do this anymore which is crazy for a 25 and 26 year old to be asking themselves that you know and so that literally that's why I was like I'm not gonna teach character stuff forever I was like I just want I want anyone to take a class and realize like they don't have to maybe feel like one school is their identity because I I think it was a real mind fuck and I think it you know it was also like you guys got to update your system to be and also it's like I still am a white woman and like there were so many other people that had different POVs that weren't represented within that and I think I think this year really opened up a lot of schools eyes to that and they're really trying to like change the infrastructure of it but I hope that isn't just like a blanket statement to get press off their case and that they really follow through with that because otherwise it just isn't indicative of comedy right now and I felt like I would write things and just in general it's like you just want to make sure it matches the zeitgeist of what what's happening you know otherwise it feels kind of antiquated you know but yeah I mean I think there's so many great elements of each school I just think there's no one school is the right school like it fits for you go for it but it doesn't have to and it's not going to it's not going to be one size fits all is there a place that you could recommend like let's say you don't want to go that path yeah are there like so like for me when I was learning filmmaking a lot of what I learned I learned on set working on you know big productions but YouTube helped a tremendous amount is there something like that for comedy where it's kind of grass roots? The Leritai Perion was a theater I really liked and started to host a character Mike there after having done characters welcome at UCB with a friend of mine Jensen who's part of Very Gay Paint because we felt like there wasn't a place for character performers to play without judgment or gives ourselves permission without the competition kind of inherently because that's the problem with the schools right is it's like whether you support people or not there is still inherent competition it's like you're still trying to compete to get to anything there's only so many spots I think like some of these more independent theaters and I also just think like feeling free to sort of treat it like a buffet where you just survey each thing and then you kind of can take from it what you want and I'm loving seeing people just launching their own shows and backyard shows and variety shows and that's like a little something for everyone that I think helped me the most was starting to put up my own things that I feel like had a little bit of stand-up a little bit of storytelling and a little character because I was like that's how I feel as a comic and I want to see that represented a little bit more so I think encouraging people to go to those shows and then reaching out to peers that are there I wish I would have done more of that when I was younger but I also think it takes a level of it's like hard to approach people you don't know and anyone that does approach me now I'm like more power to you like there's this girl that runs a show called The Unbirth They Show and it's in a really really really cool backyard in Silver Lake that someone just was like sure and she's like 23 or something and she's crushing it and she just like has this incredible confidence and zest for life and I'm like good on you and brings on amazing comedians because she offers a beautiful space and a photographer and so I think it's just kind of like be your own pioneer sort of thing you know don't wait for somebody else to let you do it like you can fucking do it now was the onset of the pandemic sort of a jumping off point for you for a lot of things that you've been working on lately yeah I think it was a really good like it was a terrible year in a lot of ways but it was also like a respite from everything and I weirdly had a lot more career attraction that year because I think I got to like pause and be like what do I want to do and got to test for a lot of cool projects and start developing my own thing and so yeah I feel like it actually is sometimes a good thing to take a break and get quiet with yourself and go I mean ideally it wasn't that sort of break yeah it was a it was a good I think it was a good time because I think sometimes you're moving so fast and you're like what am I even working towards so I think it was a good time to pause and be like oh I know exactly what I'm working on that's what everything felt like during like just before like the world just kept moving in this direction and then kind of everyone I think benefited in some way or another whether it was you know silver lining or like truly actually benefited but from some way to like everything getting a second look and just being able to stop and be like okay wait is this working the way we've been doing things yeah for so long and also just think like perspective like there were months I started a group called Lenda Day where we work with the houseless community in downtown and I got to meet Theo Henderson who's like this incredible activist and like is working leaps and bounds like to propel advocacy in a way that people haven't before and it's like oh I feel much more connected to the city I live in because I like what I see and I don't like what I see and I'm like trying to work against what I don't like so what are you guys doing what are you doing for them we're going to host a series of power-ups which will offer like charging stations for not even our houseless neighbors really anyone that comes by it doesn't have to be houseless neighbor specific I just mean I want to have a community building place that's like a hub in south LA for people to charge up tech to be able to access wi-fi to be able to you know a lot of people haven't even gotten their stimulus payments yet because they don't have a computer to do so or to get a hot meal and we want to set up clothing and have like a barbecue and make it feel like I think a lot of community outreach work can feel like charity and rather than like community and you know we like shopping we like going out for lunch we like fun kiosk it's like why does it have to be framed as sort of this like handout sort of thing elitist yeah and it shouldn't have to you know if I had it my way it'd be like everyone would was housed and they could go to shopping centers and but that unfortunately is in the case so I think just like trying to add some humanity to a really deeply problematic situation um around LA does anything surprise you in that like in your time working with this community I mean yeah I think like the massive police control and like how something that you're up against that can make you feel really powerless but also I think what surprised me is how incredibly involved so many people in the comedy community are and how compassionate they are and that I've made all these are really wonderful new friends purely because we'll do meal outreach in the morning or we'll do distribution or you know Jared Goldstein and I have been able to do fundraising shows to stop Asian hate the last few months and that people really want to do that like that makes me really excited and you know to your point earlier about like I had such a weird introduction to stand up well it's really changing for me because I'm meeting all these wonderful compassionate stand-ups that are brilliant and care about the world and you know are like using their platforms for good and so yeah if anything I feel like I've been like surprised in a good way bye do you have any sense of how you might fix this issue it's really has to be piecemeal like I would just urge everyone like collectively to at least know what's going on locally and like put you know frozen water we have a heatwave so everyone's going to suffer from heat exhaustion hand out water bottles in your community go to city council meetings like find out who's on your city council like what are they voting against and for because I think right now and I think we're experiencing it it's like yeah Biden is in Kamala are not Trump but like it's like there's still issues you know so it's like instead of just feeling really passive aggressive about that it's like how can we inform ourselves on a local level and in Lendaday's case it's like well we're going to attach ourselves to one initiative that we believe in at a time and for now it's building these power-ups with Theo Henderson and I think just like trying to increase some compassion around this but I don't think solve the problem is is realistic I think it's like what can we do individually and like trying to just like you know heighten our consciousness around it and just not turn a blind eye like I think my biggest pet peeve is just people that are complaining about things and aren't like you know we don't need to be like doing distribution every day but it's then share infographics then volunteer once a month about the thing that bothers you you know and I was just sick of being that person so you know there's definitely a long way to go and it's all about balance we had a guy in here who was just grabbing a coffee and he came in and he was telling me about his he has a non-profit helping in a different way but I was like do you think we're gonna solve it and he goes yeah and I was like you do and he I was like why do you think that he's like because it's our problem he's like and we solve problems as a community and I was like that's some powerful shit you know I wish I had such an optimistic attitude about it because I think the hardest thing with activism work is to not feel defeated all the time yeah but I do think there is a collective consciousness this sounds so like I'm in a TED talk but I think things are different now like I feel like people are waking up a bit more to the problems that are around them and I feel like we all just inherently from the last 15 months feel more connected and therefore feel a little bit more responsible for what's happening so that gives me hope is that and you have these like Gen Z you know I saw that like at that Trump convention they like signed up for all these tickets oh yeah and then like nobody was there I'm like yeah okay if there's some like 22 year old out there that's doing that like and you have like Greta Thunberg's like okay they're the future we're in good shape yeah like that excites me you know I'm like they're putting all their crazy mannequin energy into good shit yeah you know it's it's helping a lot I heard that was the BTS army honestly would not surprise me yeah they are like if they would just be like here's the BTS Happy Meal by the way for everyone I mean they use that for like registering to vote and things yeah but kind of I think that that is the future is like more and I think brands are feeling a lot of pressure to whether it's a good thing or bad thing some of them are making blatant statements but if it means that some of them like Victoria's Secret it sucks that it took this long but I'm like at least they're doing it yeah like yeah I think it's hollow and surface of shit and we can all see right through it but at least they're fucking doing it right you know it's better than the alternative it's better than alternative yeah exactly hang on hang on if you're not subscribed can you go ahead and do that right now before we get on with the video helps us out tremendously that's all we ask and we're back we lived in San Francisco and so the problem was like I mean abundant and there was like a black market where the ebt cards so the homeless people would get them and then they would go to a liquor store and they would trade them in for cash but they wouldn't the liquor store would give them like $200 versus like the $400 that was on the card and then they would use that money and I would see this every day and then they'd go use that money to get to buy drugs or alcohol and I mean people like our age shooting up on the street it was like insane and then I would chat with them the community is just not involved it was like there's all these different camps there's like one camp of mental health for sure is a big issue there's another camp of we just want to be homeless like I or like houseless that like that and it was like shocking to you know that's a San Francisco it's gotta be I mean and also like to your point about substance abuse is unfortunately like the stigma attached to that that's the collective and statistically just isn't but also the only thing that drives I mean I'm not saying the only thing you know you could argue that there's people using coke on Wall Street and we don't know about it and it's fucking happening everywhere they just have access to more expensive drugs we have some not to mention like you know we have like street sweeping but they will bypass encampments to make people look dirtier so and then the guy working at the at the liquor store that has to pay a ridiculous amount of I mean it's all coming up from the top and then everyone's just surviving how however best they can the problem is things they're trying to implement instead of mental health programs are like uh essentially sober living boxes for people to live in which is like give you an 11 o'clock curfew and doesn't work for anybody doesn't that doesn't work for anybody let alone someone that's already come from a really broken situation and wants compassion and wants to be treated like a human not like a scolded toddler so and it's so hard because I'm also like if I had nothing fucking going for me and no government looking out for me and people like handing me charity I might I'd be like well I want to be fucked up all the time do you know what I mean right what else do I you know but also I think it's like important to say that that's so not the collective that that doesn't speak for everyone it's just you know I just watched this talk about like the Cecil hotel in downtown and I was so mad because half of the emphasis was like and it was on fifth and main street the most dangerous block in Los Angeles and I'm like I'm down there every weekend like I'm more threatened by like the creepy drunk lax bro guy who's like driving and cat calling me in west hollywood than I it just it's just like we all make these blanket statements and judgments and unfortunately like news media outlets aren't making it better they're just catastrophizing any situation for for the news and then that's what people are learning and then they think all houses communities are drug addicts and freeloaders and and it's just not you know we don't know the intricacies of it so so yeah I know and it's a longer conversation but yeah it's just hard it's hard it's a good one I think there's this lady that my hairdresser oddly it or my whatever barber this woman like died apparently like in her sleep like for was out and then came back to life and when she was dead like statistic like dead like she had this moment where she basically like so she was raised Jewish oddly enough and so she knew she knew Hebrew and cool in this like dimension she entered Jesus was there which but as like a godly figure and so it threw it through she was like this doesn't make any sense like this is crazy I don't believe in this why is this here and like Buddha and like all of the symbols of religion were like in this dimension that she entered and so what she realized was she's like oh they're actually all the same thing they're just like different ways of interpreting but they're all totally totally connected yeah and then she had this other thing where it's like on earth everyone's very emotional and that clouds people's judgment and she's like we're in the dimension she entered there's no wrong or right and so if someone's stealing it's not because they want to be stealing it's because they literally need right yeah right and so they're just trying to solve the problem that they have and with with the abilities or the means or the skills they have totally that's all it is and so she came back and maybe two months later her house in Malawi was like got got broken into and she's just like five foot one very small woman yeah and she was like don't take my art but I'll give you whatever you want so let me help you because you're caught and she said like I can call the police right now but that's not going to help you at all no and then you're not going to be a good parent they were men so she's like you're not going to be a good dad yeah and this problem gets worse so let's figure out a way to make you guys whole wow in that moment and it was like this that's amazing super beautiful so you were alluding to that in some way when we're talking about like this this judgment that exists well and also like I have my phone stolen the other day and the only way you can get an insurance claim is to call the police and that's the last thing I wanted to do and I hate that that's that's the option that's the go-to it doesn't that doesn't make any sense and doesn't make doesn't feel like the right program for something like that especially when and I ended up texting the person who was like probably a 19 year old kid and I was like the last thing I want to do is add something to your goddamn record just turn it anonymously at night which they did and then they left all these selfies and whatever on my phone I was like you know you're lucky that I don't give a shit but like it just what drives people to act the way they do is this sense of scarcity that we have is this insanely capitalistic system you know it's like why do other countries have completely different crime rates you know it's like we're living off scarcity so we're like why is that person Rob maybe they had a kid too young and they have to support the kid and the kid has a pre-existing condition like asthma and the only way that they can pay for a 200 dollar inhaler out of pocket without insurance is so it's just like and again I know it's really hard to have compassion for everybody all the time I just think it's important to be like what is the why to why people act the way they do because yeah there are the crime podcast where there's the serial killer who just like likes blood yeah right you know and just like wants to murder yeah but I think that's like the like the really rare rare rare rare case you know and it's just so easy to to create these labels and it's like if we don't want that projected upon us then I feel like we have to do better to not make assumptions about other people and their situation you know in Mosquito Coast which is a show on Apple TV right now so Justin Thoreau who actually runs by here like every day with the backpack bro is ripped ripped he has like a backpack of weights yeah like so you're saying it's a three o'clock between three and three ten you think okay because I have a meeting here and it's outside yeah so see you tomorrow there's a scene in there where he's like taking his daughter or his kids are like fleeing and they end up in an encampment and he says to them he's like don't be afraid these these are unfortunately what the non-consumers look like he's like they actually know much more than we do uh-huh and I was and it was like this powerful scene yeah it's a quick thing though so if you don't pick it up you're not gonna miss it and he's like and this is their punishment for not consuming and I was like that's so good yeah you know and it was good to see it because it was like hopefully this you know opens up some love a little consciousness with a lot of people totally I mean again like I don't think that I can be the person that's like the solution I just there's too much for up against I mean I think that about everything I think that about politics as a whole I think there's just too much control for us too but it is really really really rewarding to see something from idea to execution like happen you know and like Theo's running power-ups in little Tokyo and has for months and months with other groups and it's like great that's one more thing that the community can benefit from and it seems like a small thing but it isn't to a community of people that need that you know so and I think we're learning like yeah you can change the president and like it's great no I don't I certainly just I didn't want Trump to have the freaking just I didn't even want him to have the the the satisfaction of being in power but politicians are still politicians so you know it's like I think we kind of have to learn how to infiltrate on a smaller scale the world's a complex place with complex problems so anyone who's still offering you a simple solution is lying because they're they're going to require a complex solution so like you know even but that's not to say that you can't start with simple projects like even just doing your power-ups in DTLA it's not maybe going to solve the entire problem but it's it's a good start and just staying in your house like or starting in your house that's like Jordan Peterson talks about it yeah all the time he's like yeah great so your virtue signaling like what are you doing at your house right and if you're not and I know you're not doing well yeah like great canvas or like you know or you know I just did the houseless census count which is that and it took an hour and we drove around little we drove around Koreatown and we knew that way you can report a number project how many houseless folks are living in that neighborhood so they know how many resources and how much money to allocate to that place and so it's just like you google and you can look something up and it's like it doesn't have to be in every day I've even like it's it's that balance where with lenda day stuff I'm just really busy right now with other work projects but I understand that that's always there and it's an ongoing thing and it's it's learning to make that a part of your life from now on as opposed to check in like find something you believe in and be like once I'm in I'm gonna get to like hang out with my friends at like Watts community core and like help hand out dinners and what have you so agreed it's like nothing is a a sentence phase it's not it's simply not there's too many channels to go through lenda day you said lenda day it's called lenda day lenda day yeah and that's our venmo and we're always accepting donations and I always like to say like five dollars is a case of water and enough for a whole hygiene kit so a little goes a long way little goes a very long way to go back to your comedy career yeah do you do you consider at all like what would happen if you got famous I think about all the time what do you mean like what would happen like so some people you know I think a lot of people chase it and then they see it and it's almost like they misunderstood it it's almost like they wish they didn't have it because to some extent I mean it really depends that you get famous for a blood spritz time you get famous for being a comedian then now you're in this box to some extent like the world has put you in this box and they just want to hear this and they're like don't tell us about lenda day just tell us about being funny and be funny right and there's conflict in that sometimes but at the same time you have a platform and so you can use that platform right but how do you you know how do you view that well I think I've kind of made that virtually impossible because from a really early on point I've been like hear my views and you can either stay or you can leave which I think it's very much to each their own with that like nobody owes anybody that that's just helped me I've also like talking candidly about like recovering from an eating disorder and like mental health and I mean I don't know what much would change other than that like I feel like I've surrounded myself with people who I want to succeed with me and that like really want things for genuinely great reasons and I think at their core are good I would just like to have more of a voice to reach more people for that and not just I mean yeah obviously like for outreach and advocacy work but also like to make people laugh and like make people laugh at how funny humans are like I really feel like a big cornerstone of my comedy is being able to like laugh at yourself being able to laugh at other people not from a mean steered at place but purely from an observational place like if they got a little chubby you're saying well no it's not about your family no but like the whole reasonberg on summer break yeah like I met you know the whole reason that I did like a brewery chick characters because I like went to a brewery and I couldn't believe how informed someone was on is this the one that makes you cackle on beers and like it felt like half the beers were made up let's do this do this oh no they're just like for sure for sure like I got like a it's like a like notes of like like lake water and you know it doesn't you know it all was like is that a real uh but again it's it's like satirizing people and and I think if I you know I could be a good a good voice for that and that you and that you don't have to be like cool girl of comedy to be funny and to like be successful I would argue the opposite is even funnier yeah whatever cool girl is yeah whatever but also I can play cool girl like it's funny I feel like I know how to be way cooler as like oh you like have a chain smoking character that's like everything's like corrupt you know I know how to do that too I just I have more fun doing it with like a wig on not Hannah you know at night before I go to bed I always watch like comedy on YouTube but I'll watch like Don Rickles or I'll watch like super old love that some Jerry Seinfeld and it's just like you get to recognize how in a box comedians were back then compared to today totally it's like you have to be scripted it was scripted back super like what is your what's your one sheet pitch and people were very PC and I don't think people recognize that like people think there's a stigma of like oh we're so sensitive today but if you watch it on Rickles do a bit back then people boo-hoo like they're like boo and he's like oh shut up well it sucks because it was like PC and then it was like fucking bad like comedy does not age well like I'm like yeah and I really love that's for sure deeply problematic mad TV sketch years ago but I think the positive of that is that we can say that you know that I can say oh I see what's so the progress about yeah do you think symptom of what you were talking about earlier where you're up on stage and you're just divulging everything because it's getting a laugh and so maybe you lose the filter in the moment what I would argue that somebody that's filtered like I think that probably 80% of stand-up in the Midwest should cease to exist like that's a big percentage but there's just so there's so much like like my fucking wife culture that I just like to have no tolerance for and again I think if that's their inner monologue like I'm not interested I just again though one could argue that great there's like a platform for everybody I just don't want that person to be saying offensive things that's where I have the hard time I don't care about your filter but if you need therapy so that you aren't like woman hating then get therapy and then I'm I just think like what a cheap go-to you know there can be a beauty to being unfiltered I just ideally it's not promoting the wrong message I was on stage the other night was having so much fun and like ended up talking about a threesome you know but it didn't hurt anyone and it wasn't like at the expense of someone else but I think that probably is how a lot of stuff you know is born in the wrong way right yeah and that people it's the capitalism thing again it's that there's a lot of comedians that said an offensive thing that made people laugh that like the bookers will still put them up and they get to live in that world that feedback loop yeah uh but I think that's not what I'm seeing publicized lately nearly as much so that's what's exciting yeah you know right very much so do you have any favorite comedians Maria Bamford Chloe Feynman one of my best friends Jensen and Nick Norrie trying to think of like Molly Shannon is all that I've ever wanted and all that I she's the snf she's on yeah right um yeah I mean I feel very like kindred spirit to her whole incredible career and career path I'm really big into Renee Ellsbury right now Renee at least who's on Girls 5 Eva she's a Hamilton star and is and busy I love the show busy Phillips is amazing these Broadway stars that are suddenly like getting into the comedy space they're so technically proficient so they're clowning like I love like Ty Burrell in modern family and like Ross and friends you know like it's just like I'm a big sucker for like expert physical comedy and clowning um and I think like David Schwimmer did that expertly Lisa Kudrow forever yeah yeah what's that show the wonderful Mrs. Maisel oh yeah that's one of that's been one of my favorite shows yeah Rachel Brosnan is unreal and it's so like visually stunning yeah everything from the writing to the directing to the acting everything is so in sync and so wonderfully done yeah it pulls you into that time period as well and honestly Jean Smart is like blowing my goddamn mind with hack and I'm like you're like the timing iconic funny and also just like funny with depth it's like it's the kind of comedy you have to read like you have to like go back 30 seconds yeah or rewind yeah 90s kid like you got to go back and go that was really good totally like their their dialogue yeah it's so amazing it's the writing there's so many good jokes layered layered layered layered yeah where can people find you until everyone where they can find me on all your comedy you're on vine find me on instagram she's the only account left I have a lot of dates that I'll be putting up for the summer and then I'm gonna start doing a monthly show in New York so I will release be releasing more dates soon for shows at Hannah Pilkes Hannah Pilkes Pilkes yeah I'm sorry it's fine it looks like it should be Pilkes but it's Pilkes I'm so bad with names Tara Tara but it's the way it's spelled like in English like it should it should be Pilkes when do you get married we are hoping for it I'm like I like a maybe we're thinking next august like a redwoods oh yeah fairy tale forest no wedding yeah yeah I want to feel like I you know I have a lot of dutch background my dad's from Holland so I want it to feel very like whimsical and yeah dutch fairy tale find a windmill find a wind well you know I like my this woman did my hair makeup at a shoot the other day and she was like I asked her to do my hair makeup at my wedding and I was like oh are you married she's like yeah I got married in Holland I was like huh I said are you dutch she said I just like Holland which is like stop the record right I don't hear that a lot I mean not that you don't like it was just a random it's very she got married by a windmill and yeah I don't want to I feel like I go center I don't want to make people spend that much money to go watch me get married in Holland but maybe the honeymoon yeah yeah definitely there's gotta be a windmill somewhere right there's gotta be a windmill and like little wooden shoes and like mushrooms that everyone can sit on yeah and maybe ingest like on d3 we can only make mid-summer ruined the dutch strupoffles mid-summer mid-summer yeah I don't want it to take that dark turn sweet yeah but everyone will eat like those cookies or like strupoffles yes are you dutch no but I enjoyed my time there it's a great place I thought you seemed tall blonde yeah yeah I fit in well with the population yeah totally conversely my partner's five six and like could not fit on any of the bikes because my family are all like six foot and over and he was like well I can't fight this so I guess we're walking um I look like a short king I don't think a taxi can really use the best that's really funny in itself that's a bit that's gotta be I know I know I've definitely use it and stand up but he doesn't he likes doesn't mind being the butt of the joke the butt of the joke is not that he's short it's that he has like tall guy energy and that it took me finding the short king to fall in love I love that yeah well thanks for coming on the podcast thank you guys for having me pleasure having so much fun great meeting you thank you


Where do we start? Let's just start with the result. Estabilla 2. Everton Nail. Absolute... I don't want to curse. Absolutely shocking. By the way, hello patrons. Thanks for watching this. No, it's not time for the wolf either. So if anyone is thinking I'm going to all of a sudden have a transition into a wolf mask, it's not that. Because the simple fact is before the game, if Everton have been behind at half time, they have not won a game. It was 38 before today's game, yesterday's game, Friday's game, let's say that. And now it's 39. We go 1-0 down. And we don't come back.  I almost felt like it was towards the end of Sam Allardyce's tenure two seasons ago. There were times that we went 1-0 down that I just turned off the game because I knew there was no way for us to come back because of the issues that we had either tactically, personnel-wise, and all that other stuff. But today, let me start with my day. Okay, I have to work today. So I woke up and I said, oh, it's going to be a good day. It's Friday, it's the end of the work week. Everton are playing today. Turned off all my notifications from all the apps so I wouldn't get any updates. Turned off my Instagram messages. All that good stuff went through my work. They all pumped up, all hyped. Going to get off. They went swimmingly. Everything was good. Nobody leaked the score. Nobody spoiled it for me. Got home, made myself a burger on the grill outside. Quarter pound patty. Okay, brioche bun, buffalo sauce, cheddar and Colby Jack cheese.  Had some fries. Used fresh fry of grease for the fries. Had myself an ice cold beverage. Sat down, had the dogs with me. Ready to go. We're going top of the league. Just maybe for just 24 hours. But I get to look at the league table and go, ah, Everton, above Liverpool, above a whole bunch of other teams. Just for that, just to have the screenshot and just to say, hey, one time this season and so I sat down. Having a good time. Everything's going well. First 10 minutes, we do what we usually do. And the key to going away from home because our form is so poor. You don't want to go behind early. You want to start off on the front foot and that's what we did. Pasted it around. Luca and Bernard did their thing. Seamus and Richelison did their thing. But no end product. We just do it all half-assed, like, you know, it's just going to happen for us. Because there's no proof that it would ever happen for us. But we just think it's going to happen for us somehow. And then 15, 20 minutes in, you know, you start to see all this, you know, we're huffing and we're puffing and nothing's really coming over. Great move, great movement. And then you look at our defense, the spacing is correct. We're moving as a unit. Everything looks good and all of a sudden we start to notice that, well, Andre Gomez is having a pretty shite game. First touch is absolutely dreadful. Him and Schneiderlin seem to be when Astonville are actually pressing on and doing a little bit. There's too wide of a gap in the midfield between those two. Neither of them are really that mobile. Nobody seems to be closing down and doing all the work that Address-Ogonague did by himself last season, obviously. And that's just not what we can, you know, you just can't get through a game doing that. They've got Jack Grealish in there. That's quick. Alert player could pick a pass. Same with McGinn. You know, low center of gravity. Quick, running off players, getting into nice little pockets of space. We couldn't keep track of them. And then a series of events that... How do you say it? I guess epitomizes what the problem was with us this game and what seems to be like a juvenile... What's the correct word? Naive way of doing things. First of all, the ball comes into Bernard in the middle of the park. And I can't tell. I've looked back a whole bunch of times. Either his first touch is absolutely shocking for a player of his technical ability. Or he tries one of those things where you know, I played football, I'm sure some of these viewers play football, where you see the space, you kind of talk to do this, that you've got a player over here and a player over here and you're in the middle.  So you play it off yourself. You're trying to give yourself some space. So it's like a heavy first touch, but like a controlled heavy first touch, if you know what I'm saying.  Dominic Cobbett-Lewin was running on. Retalison was gone. You know that Luca Deans bombing down the left-hand side. And Sigmund said somewhere in there, probably in a pocket of space ready to do something. So what Bernard has to do is kick in front of him, look up, he's got 180 degrees, over the top, over the top and you get in the box, on the ground and you go in the box, a whole bunch of stuff kind of came from that. But the touch is way too heavy. And so you go, oh, okay, here, here, there, there, they're breaking. But not really because the player that gets fouled eventually has his back to goal, facing his own goalkeeper and there's not really anything on, but a touch back and maybe a lob up to the top, up to Wesley. But no, Andre Gomez comes crashing in, gives the foul away. A needless foul in my opinion. And then on top of that, so you know what's big. And then what most people do, what most players do, what most teams do, is when you get a free kick in that kind of position. It's not really that dangerous from a dead ball situation, but when it comes, you know, when you see the player hold his hand over the ball and he's got his foot behind it, you know something's about to happen.  Distances are right and blocks are right. Everyone's marked up. But no, we don't do that.  Lucadine's way over in the back here. He's in his position, obviously. Bernard's nowhere to really be seen. Well, him and Gomez are kind of just here hanging out and then bam, quick ball through.  He's in acres of space to where, you know, it's not really ideal for Lucadine to come in. It's not really good for the centre-back. So he just keeps coming in and coming in and all of a sudden, Wesley is far over here and there's Seamus and there's Mina. And then there's a player just in here. And all of a sudden, or it might have been Keene, either way, there's a defender. So he runs away from those two, runs in front of a centre-back. Behind the other centre-back is a perfectly weighted ball. And then when it comes to what we want from Dominic Cavalero, and what you want in a number nine is the movement, is the quickness, is the alertness, and the timing of the run. All of that was perfect from Wesley. And the only place he could have really put that is so hard into the ground, into the far post, and bam, there you go. That's a Premier League centre-forward. That's what a Premier League centre-forward looks like. And Wesley, almost to me, is exactly the same type of player as Dominic Cavalero, except he has the clinical finishing. And so all of that, then we won no-down. And then you know we're not coming back. And then you know we're going to go plan a constantly down the outside. Seamus and you give it to him and he wants all the time in the world. And like I've said before, steamboat-siggy you know, turning needs all the time. By the time he turns, even if he gets the ball, it's obviously going back outside again because nobody is bursting and busting. You've got to get in front of him and get in there. So it's down the outside to Bernard. It's down the outside to Rich Ellison. It's crossed into the box and those defenders just eat that up all day long. Heading it out too close to the keeper. Heathens up, bam, you know. He's an international goalkeeper. So in you know, I've already lost all faith. My burger just doesn't taste good anymore. My beverage wasn't tasting good anymore. My dogs weren't even looking cute anymore. So it just all fell apart. Then we come out in the second half and we do exactly the same thing. You know, we dominate possession. We dominate on the corner kicks. Aston Villa didn't even have one corner kick in that game. And then, you know, we make substitutions. A Woby comes on, can comes on. They look sharp. They look up for it. We go to a 4-2-4, I guess, what it is. Yeah, this is more of a summary, a little reaction, but you know, gonna get it out. Gonna get it out.  Ball comes in to the box. A Woby kind of, well, he cuts in, kind of scuffs it. Heaton was beaten, obviously. Comes back off the post. Their defender is the first one there because he was more anticipatory than our forward line checking out, which most of the time was last season, was what, how we conceded so many goals, and we can see lots of goals from set pieces. Pure blame, no marking, you know, but whatever it was. But that was the problem. The offensive team would hit the post, pick or repair it or something, but our defenders were always the second to react, and the opposition's forwards or you know, players were always the quickest to react and score a goal. We are the complete opposite. We are the slowest to react to a ball hitting the post, a hit in the air, to the goalkeeper parrying it, for the defender, you know, flubbing his lines or whatever it is. And then comes the moment. Knew it was going to happen. As soon as Charleson came off and Wally came on, you knew something was going to happen. Just like last week when Wally came on and, you know, just absolutely ripped his player apart. You know, Halavas already on the yellow card, he couldn't make the challenge, so Theodos comes in, whoop, round the corner, whoop, puts it in front of him, and bam, goes Ed, all the way in the back, completely pitiful cross.  You know, you don't know SportsCenter, it's kind of like the American sports show, it's always got top 10 highlights, or something that happened in the world of sports today. That's going to be on there. That's a howler, that's a sitter. I don't want to hear anything about, you know, he doesn't get minutes, so that's not what he's supposed to do. It's Theo Walker. He's been playing this game professionally for what, 12, 13 years or so. He's played at the highest level, he's played international football, he's played for Arsenal, played for Southampton, he's played in big, big games. How you don't score that, other than a lack of confidence, or a lack of something, you know, it's totally beyond me. And then, we just can see the second goal, because again, quick break, Keane gets out, so a ball comes in to the box, you know, from Grealish, he's gotten, you know, chose what he was going to do right away. He didn't door line, didn't take four, five, six touches and look up and see what was going to happen. Just bam, tries to find McGinn, Al-Ghazi is already in there, comes in, woop woop, Andre Gomez again, nowhere even close. Didn't even put a leg, I didn't even know that player was on his blind side obviously, I don't think it was his blind side, he just ran in front of him, and then it's 2-0, we're an embarrassment again, you know, and it's the same old things. We just don't take our chance, because the key stat obviously in that, besides the possession is 65% to 35% for us, and like I said, we had six corners, they had 0, but this tells the story all the time. 12 shots, 1 on target, to Villa, 7 shots, 3 on target, 2 goals. Why we can't shoot from outside the box, why we don't take a risk, why we don't try and take our players on and get inside the box and you know, force them to make a decision. The amount of times, like I said, I saw and listened to the commentator say Sigerson to Schneiderlin, I mean Gomez to Schneiderlin, Schneiderlin back to Gomez, Gomez out to Seamus, Seamus back to Keen, Keen out to Schneiderlin, Schneiderlin out to Dean, and then it just a constant flow, a little arc around the outside of it, no creativity, no darting runs, no anything, the offensive line is standing still waiting for something to happen, then getting back in perfect defensive formation, absolutely atrocious. So what now? I don't know what now. This is one of the games that it could have done so much for us, but our way form, absolutely shocking, creativity, woeful, taking risks and living on the edge and trying to do something you know, ambitious, absolutely not there. I don't know what to say, one of the positives I mean, looked good, I will be looked good. You know, we can pass the ball around beautifully, defensively our shape is amazing. I thought, you know, Pickford not really fought for any of those, but it's just the focus and all the lack of it, the lack of all the other stuff I just said, I'm just flustered, you know, there's just no reason for it. Well, there is a reason for it, but the reasons that are just predominant throughout last season and coming into this season but it is what it is. I've already said plenty of times, I'm not judging Marco Silva's viability to be the manager of this team until the summer transfer window is done at the start of next season and then I'm going to judge Marco Silva Marcel Brands, Machiri, the Direction of Everton, all that stuff at the end of next season.  Yeah, we should have sent it back. Yeah, we haven't replaced Ghana because that was clearly every state we were missing somebody like Ghana, because Ghana makes Gomez tick or makes him that he doesn't have to play that amount of time because the amount of times I also saw Gomez coming deep to pick up the ball, more than Morgan Schneiderling was just completely amazing to me, because why should Schneiderling play it higher up than Andre Gomez? You know, I didn't hear Schneiderling's name barely ever until, you know, for the first 10, 15, 20 minutes until he had that nice little sweep all over the top, played Coleman in, Coleman didn't lash at it, didn't play in front of the goalkeeper, didn't make him play it played it into the path of Dominic Cabaret-Lewin and what does Dominic Cabaret-Lewin do? This. This is what he does. You want to take a look at this with me? Okay, here we go. I'll blow it up for you. I'll blow up nice and big. Okay, let's get this right. Okay, Ian Wright, Didier Druckberg, Fernando Torres, Ronaldo, Messi, doesn't matter. Look at that, people. Just look at that and tell me what the problem is with that. Tell me what the problem is with that. You don't need to. I already know. That sums up what our number nine does. And yes, Dom loves the club. He's proud. There's a thousand positive things that we can say about Dominic Cabaret-Lewin as a person and as a player. But this this is a serious serious deadly issue that we need to address. Maybe we'll all have to link in them and Moise Ken comes in with that. I'm sorry. That is just unacceptable in so, so many different levels. And now my dad's texting me and getting on me about this. He supports Swindon Town, by the way. But you know what? Sorry. Sorry, move it on. Let's go. Move on. And why is it straight down the middle of the goal? Like I can cope with 10 20 different situations or players that would hold on. Oh, sorry. Dog started fighting. I guess I was talking a little too aggressively about this ship result from Everton. Anyway, so, yeah. So what? You got Ian Wright, got Dennis Burkamp. You've got Delia Dragba. You've got Net Van Nistoroy. You've got you pick up all the players. Harry Kane, Sergio, all these different players that you knew when Seamus Coleman put that ball into the box or any player would have put that into the box. That's 1-0. That's getting buried there. He's just going to put his laces through it into the ground. Bang! That's 1-0. Doesn't matter. He's already celebrating.  And we see players like you see the ball coming in. It's like and here it comes to Ian Wright and it's bang! Bottom goal. He's only got arms out already celebrating before the crowd's even seen the ball going before the crowd's even had time to react. You know, world-class players mess even out. Doesn't matter. I can probably name 150. Or I can probably name 1,878 players that would have finished that with a plum. But not on number nine. Nope. So, same things. Boring, pedantic one-dimensional football not creating enough chances not taking enough risk in the final third not being creative enough and not being alert enough not sensing danger in the middle of the park before it comes and k, fellow patrons I love you. See you next game. Bye.