Act I of Cynthia's Rebels or the Fountain of Self-Love by Ben Johnson. This is a LibriVox recording. While LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Cynthia's Rebels or the Fountain of Self-Love. To the special Fountain of Manners, record. Thou art a bountiful and brave spring, and waterest all the noble plants of this island. In thee the whole kingdom dresses itself, and is ambitious to use thee as her glass. Beware, then, thou render men's figures truly, and teach them no less to hate their deformities, than to love their forms. For to grace there should come reverence, and no man can call that lovely, which is not also venerable. There is not powdering, perfuming, and everyday smelling of the tailor, that convert it to a beautiful object, but a mind shining through any soup, which needs no false light, either of riches or honors to help it. Such shall thou find some here, even in the reign of Cynthia, a Christ he's in, an Arete. Now under thy Phoebus it will be thy province to make more, but thou desirest to have thy source mixed with the spring of self-love, and so we'll draw upon thee as welcome a discovery of thy days, as was then made of her knights. Thy servant but not slave, Ben Johnson. Dramatis personae. Cynthia, read by Devorah Allen. Echo, read by Sonia. Mercury, read by Todd. Arete, read by Linda Olsen, Phytac. Hesperus, read by Alan Mapstone. Fantastic, read by Lynette Corkins. Quites, read by Larry Wilson. Argorion, read by Sonia. Amorphous, read by Elijah Fisher. Velotia, read by Thorn. Asotis, read by Bread. Moria, read by Lianya. Heden, read by Thomas Peter. Kos, read by Jim Locke. Anidis, read by Campbell Shelp. Jelaya, read by Sandra Schmidt. Morphides, read by Jim Locke. Prosatis, read by Alan Mapstone. Morris, read by Neymar. Cupid, read by Eva Davis. First Child, read by Alan Mapstone. Child Two, read by Thomas Peter. Child Three, read by T.J. Burns. Citizen, read by Adrian Stevens. Citizen's Wife, read by Avahee. Taylor, read by April. 6090. Perfumer, read by Steven Fellows. Feathermaker, read by Sandra Schmidt. Jeweler, read by Nima. Miliner, played by Shashan Jackmulla. Barber, read by Sonia. Prologue, read by Alan Mapstone. The epilogue, read by Alan Mapstone. Neurator, read by Kevin S. Scene, gargafia. Induction, the stage. After the second sounding. Enter three of the children, struggling. Pray you away, why, fellas? God, so what do you mean? Mary, that you shall not speak the prologue, sir. Why, do you hope to speak it? I, and I think I have most right to it. I am sure I studied it first. That's all one. If the other thing, I can speak it better. I'm a plea possession of the cloak. Generals, your suffrage, I pray you. Wigan. Why, children? Are you not ashamed? Come in there. Slid, I'll play nothing in the play, unless I speak it. Why, will you stand to most voices of the gentlemen? Let that decide it. Oh, no, sir Gellent. You presume to have the start of us there, and that makes you offer so prodigly. Now, would I were whipped if I had any such thought? Try it by lots, either. Faith, I dare tempt my fortune in a greater venture than this. Well said, Resolute Jack. I am content too, so we draw first. Make the cuts. But will you not snatch my cloak while I'm stooping? No, we scorn treachery. Which cut shall speak it? The shortest. Agreed, draw. They draw cuts. The shortest is come to the shortest. Fortune was tall together blinding this. Now, sir, I hope I shall go forward without your envy. A spite of all mischief is luck. I was once plucking at the other. Stay, Jack. Slid, I'll do something now before I go in, though it be nothing but to revenge myself on the author. Since I speak not his prologue, I'll go tell all the argument of his play a forehand, and so stale his invention to the auditory before it come forth. Uh, do not so. By no means. Third child advancing to the front of the stage. First, the title of his play is Cynthia's Rebels, as any man that hath hoped to be saved by his book can witness. The scene, Gargify, which I do vehemently suspect for some fusty in country, but let that vanish. Here's the court of Cynthia, wither he brings Cupid, traveling on foot, resolved to turn page. By the way, Cupid meets with Mercury, as that's a thing to be noted. Take any of our playbooks without a Cupid or a Mercury in it, and burn it for a heretic in poetry. In these and the subsequent speeches, at every break, the other two interrupt and endeavor to stop him. Pray thee, let me alone. Mercury, he, in the nature of a conjurer, raises up Echo, who weeps over her love, or daffodil, narcissus, a little, sings, curses the spring, wherein the pretty foolish gentleman melted himself away. And there's the end of her. Now, I am to inform you that Cupid and Mercury do both become pages. Cupid attends on Philatia, or self-love, a court lady. Mercury follows Hedon, the voluptuous, and a courtier, one that ranks himself even with a nades, or the impudent, a gallant. And that's my part, one that keeps laughter, Jalea, the daughter of Folly, a wench and boys attire, to wait on him. These, in the court, meet with Amorphus, or the deformed, a traveler that hath drunk of the fountain, and there tells the wonders of the water. They presently dispatch away their pages with bottles to fetch of it, and themselves go to visit the ladies. But I should have told you, look, these Emmits put me out here, that with this Amorphus there comes along a citizen's heir, or the prodigal, who, in imitation of the traveler, who hath the whetstone following him, entertains the beggar to be his attendant. Now, the nymphs who are mistresses to these gallants are Philatia, self-love, fantasy, a light witness, Argyrian, money, and their guardian, Mother Moria, or Mistress Folly. There, Cupid strikes money in love with the prodigal, makes her dot upon him, give him jewels, bracelets, carcanex, etc. All which he most ingeniously departs with all, to be made known to the other ladies and gallants, and, in the heat of this, increases his train with the fool to follow him, as well as the beggar. By this time, your beggar begins to wait close, who is returned with the rest of his fellow-bottle-men. There, they all drink, save Argyrian, who has fallen into a sudden apoplexy. Stop his math! And then there's a retired scholar there. He would not wish a thing to be better contempt of a society of gallants than it is. And he applies his service, good gentleman, to the Lady Arate, or virtue, a poor nymph of Cynthia's train, that scares able to buy herself a gown.  Where am I now? At a stand. Come, leave at last yet. Oh, the night has come. Twas somewhat dark, me thought, and Cynthia intends to come forth. That helps it a little yet. All the courtiers must provide for Rebels. They conclude upon a mask, the device of which is. What, will you ravish me? That each of these vices, being to appear before Cynthia, would seem other than indeed they are, and therefore, assume the most neighbouring virtues as their masking habit. Hey, I'd cry rape, but that you are children. Come, we'll have no more of the anticipation. To give them the inventory of their kates a forehand were the discipline of a tavern, and not fitting this presence. This was but to show us the happiness of his memory. I thought at first he would have played the ignorant critic with everything along as he had gone. I expected some such device. Oh, you shall see me do that rarely. Lend me thy cloak. Soft sir, you'll spilt my prologue in it. No, would I might never stir then. Lend it in, lend it in. Well, you have sworn. Giss him the cloak. I have. Now sir, suppose I am one of your gentile auditors that I'm come in, having paid my money at the door with much ado, and here I take my place and sit down. I have my three sorts of tobacco in my pocket, my light by me, and thus I begin. At the breaks he takes his tobacco.  They do act like so many wrens or piss-mires, not the fifth part of a good face among them all. And then their music is abominable, able to stretch a man's ears worse than ten. Pillories and their ditties, most lamentable things, like the pitiful fellows that make them, poets. By this vapor, and toward not for tobacco, I think, the very stench of them would poison me. I should not dare to come in at their gates. A man where better visit fifteen jails, or a dozen or two hospitals, than once adventure to come near them. How is it, well? Excellent, give me my cloak. Stay, you shall see me do another now, but a more sober or better gathered gallant. That is, as it may be thought, some friend or well-wisher to the house. And here I enter. What, upon the stage two? Yes, and I step forth like one of the children and ask you, would you have a stool, sir? A stool, boy? Aye, sir, if you'll give me sixpence, I'll fetch you one. For what, I pray thee? What shall I do with it?  Why, throne yourself and stay on the stage, as other gentlemen use, sir. Away, wag! What wouldst thou make an implement of me? Slyd, the boy takes me for a piece of perspective. I hold my life, or some silk curtain, come to hang the stage here. Sir, crack! I am none of your fresh pictures, that used to beautify the decayed dead arrows in a public theatre. Tis a sign, sir, you put not that confidence in your good clothes and your better face, that a gentleman should do, sir.  The play is instantly to begin. Most willingly, my good wag, but I would speak with your author. Where is he? Not this way, I assure you, sir. We are not so officiously befriended by him as to have his presence in the tiring-house, to prompt us aloud, stamp at the book-holder, swear for our properties, curse the poor tiremen, rail the music out of tune, and sweat for every venial trespass we commit, as some author would, if he had such fine angles as we. Well, Tis but our hard fortune. Nay, crack, be not disheartened. Not high, sir. But if you please confer with our author, by attorney, you may, sir. Our proper self here stands for him. Troth, I have no such serious affair to negotiate with him. But what may very safely be turned upon thy trust? It is in the general behalf of this fair society here that I am to speak, at least the more judicious part of it, which seems much distasted with the immodest and obscene writing of many of these plays. Besides, they could wish your poets would leave to be promoters of other men's chests and to waylay all the state apathems, or old books they can hear of, in print or otherwise, to fars their scenes with all, that they would not so penuriously glean wit from every laundress or hackney-man, or derive their best grace with servile imitation from common stages or observation of the company they converse with, as if their invention lived wholly upon another man's trencher. Again, that feeding their friends with nothing of their own, but what they have twice or thrice cooked, they should not wantonly give out how soon they had dressed it, or how many coaches came to carry away the broken meat, besides hobby-horses and footcloth-nags. So, sir, this is all the reformation you seek? It is. Do not you think it is necessary to be practiced, my little wag? Yes, where any such ill-habited custom is received. Oh, I had almost forgot it, too. They say the ombre, or ghosts of some three or four plays, have parted a dozen years since have been seen walking on your stage here.  Good, sir. But what will you say now, if a poet, untouched with any breath of this disease, find the tokens upon you that are of the auditory, as some one civet wit among you that knows no other learning, than the price of satin and velvets, nor other perfection than the wearing of a neat suit, and yet will censure as desperately as the most professed critic in the house, presuming his clothes should bear him out in it. Another, whom hath pleased nature to furnish with more beard than brain, prunes his moustachio, lisp's, and with some score of effected oaths, swears down all that sit about him, that the old Hironomo, as it was first acted, was the only best and judiciously penned play of Europe. A third great bellied juggler talks of twenty years since, and when Monsieur was here, and would enforce all wits to be of that fashion, because his doublet is still so. A fourth miscodes all by the name of Faustian, that his grounded capacity cannot aspire to. A fifth only shakes his bottle-head, and out of his corky brain, squeezeth out a pitiful learned face, and is silent. By my faith, Jack, you have put me down. How would I know how to get off with any indifferent grace? Here, take your cloak, and promise some satisfaction in your prologue, or I'll be sworn we have marred all. Tut, fear not, child. This will never distaste a true sense. Be not out and good enough. I would thou had some sugar-canny to sweeten thy mouth. The third sounding. Prologue. If gracious silence, sweet attention, quick sight, and quicker apprehension, the lights of judgment's throne, shine anywhere, our doubtful author hopes this is their sphere, and therefore opes he himself to those. To other weaker beams his labours close, as loath to prostitute their virgin strain to every vulgar and adulterate brain. In this alone his muse her sweetness hath. She shuns the prits of any beaten path, and proves new ways to come to learned ears. Pied ignorance she neither loves nor fears, nor hunts she after popular applause, or foamy praise that drops from common jaws, the garland that she wears, their hands must twine, who can both censure, understand, define what merit is, then cast those piercing rays round as a crown, instead of honoured bays about his poise, which he knows affords words above action, matter above words. Act I. Scene I. A grove and fountain. Enter Cupid and Mercury with his caduceus on different sides. Who goes there? Dis I, blind archer. Who, Mercury? I. Farewell. Stay, Cupid. Not in your company, Hermes. Except your hands were riveted at your back. Why so, my little rover? Because I know you have not a finger, but is as long as my quiver, cousin Mercury, when you please to extend it. Whence derive you this speech, boy? Oh, tis your best polity to be ignorant.  No, not you. Alas, your palms, Jupiter knows they are as tender as the foot of a foundered nag, where ladies face new Mercury'd. They'll touch nothing. Go to, infant. You'll be daring still. Daring? Oh, Janice.  Why, my light feather-heeled cuss. What are you any more than my Uncle Joe's pander, a lackey that runs on errands for him and can whisper a light message to a loose wench with some round of volubility? Wait mannerly at a table with a trencher, warrable upon a crowd a little, and fill out nectar when Ganymede's way, when that sweeps the God's drinking room every morning and sets the cushions in order again, which they threw one in another's head overnight, can brush the carpets, call the stools again to their places, play the crier of the court with an audible voice, and take state of a precedent upon you at wrestling's, pleading's, negotiations, et cetera. Here's the catalogue of your employments now. Oh no, I err. You have the marshaling of all the ghosts, too, that pass the Stygian fairy, and I suspect you for a share with the old scholar there if the truth were known, but let that escape. One other peculiar virtue you possess in lifting or leisure domain, which few of the House of Heaven have else besides, I must confess, but me thinks that should not make you put that extreme distance toxt yourself and others that we should be said to over-dare and speaking to your nimble deity. So Hercules my challenge priority of us both because you can throw the bar farther or lift more joined stools at the arm's end than we. If this might carry it, then we who have made the whole body of divinity tremble have the twang of our bow and enforced Saturnius himself to lay by his curled front thunder and three forked fires and put on a masking suit too light for a reveler of 18 to be seen in. Oh, now, my dancing braggart and decimo sexto, charm your skipping tongue, or I'll— What? Use the virtue of your snaky-tip staff there upon us. No, boy. But the smart vigor of my palm about your ears you have forgot since I took your heels up into air on the very hour I was bored inside of all the bench of deities when the silver roof of the Olympian palace rung again with the applause of the fact. Oh, no, I remember it freshly and by a particular instance for my mother Venus at the same time but stooped to embrace you and to speak by metaphor you borrowed a girdle of hers as you did Jovseptor while he was laughing and would have done his thunder too but that was too hot for your itching fingers. Tis well, sir. I heard. You but looked in at Vulcan's forge the other day and entreated a pair of his new tongs along with you for company. Tis joy on you of fate that you will keep looked talons in practice with anything. Slight now that you are on earth we shall have you filched spoons and candlesticks rather than fail. Prey, Jovseptor, the perfumed couriers keep their casting bottles picked tooths and chiddle-cocks from you or are more ordinary gallants their tobacco boxes for I am strangely jealous of your nails. Never trust me, Cupid but you are turned a most acute gallant of late. The edge of my wit is clean taken off with the fine and subtle stroke of your thin-ground tongue. You fight with two poignant affrays for me to deal with. Oh, Hermes, your craft cannot make me confident. I know my own steel to be almost spent and therefore entreat my peace with you in time. You are too cunning for me to encounter at length and I think it my safest ward to close. Well, for once I'll suffer you to win upon me, wag. But use not these strains too often. They'll stretch my patience. Where the might you march now? Faith to recover thy good thoughts I'll discover my whole project. The huntress and queen of these groves, Diana, in regard of some black and envious slander's hourly breathed against her for her divine justice on Actian, as she pretends, hath here in the veil of gargoyfee proclaimed a solemn revels which her god had put off that she will descend to grace with the full and royal expense of one of her clearest moons, in which time it shall be lawful for all sorts of ingenious persons to visit her palace, to court her nymphs, to exercise all variety of generous and noble pastimes, as well as to intimate how far she tread such malicious imputations beneath her, as also to show how clear her beauties are from the least wrinkle of austerity they may be charged with. But what is all this to Cupid? Here I do mean to put off the title of a god and take the habit of a page in which, disguised during the interim of these revels, I will get to follow some one of Diana's maids where, if my beau-hold and my shafts fly but with half the willingness and aim they are directed, I doubt not, but I shall really redeem the minutes I have lost by their so long and an over-nice prescription of my deity from their court. Pursue it, Divine Cupid. It will be rare. But will Hermes second me? I am now to put an act in a special designment from my father Jove. But that performed I am for any fresh action that offers itself. Well, then we part. Exit. Farewell, good wag. Now to my charge. Echo. Fare Echo, speak. Tis Mercury that calls thee. Sorrowful nymph. Salute me with thy repercussive voice that I may know what cavern of the earth contains thy airy spirit. How or where I may direct my speech that thou madest here. Echo below. Here. Here. So nigh. No, gentle soul, then. I am sent from Jove. Pitying the sad berlin of thy woes, still growing on thee, in thy want of words to then thy passion, for in our sissus's death, commands that now, after three thousand years, which have been exercised in Juno's spite, thou take a corporeal figure and ascend, enriched with vocal and articulate power. Make haste, sad nymph. Thrice shall my winged rod strike the obsequious earth to give thee way. Arise, and speak thy sorrows, Echo. Rise here by this fountain where thy love did pine, whose memory lives fresh to vulgar fame, shrined in this yellow flower that bears his name. Echo ascends. His name revives and lifts me up from earth. Oh, which way shall I first convert myself? Or in what mood shall I essay to speak, that in a moment I may be delivered of the prodigious grief I go with all? See, see, the morning found whose springs weep yet, the untimely fate of that two-butchest boy, that trophy of self-love and spoil of nature, who, now transformed into this drooping flower, hangs the repentant head back from the stream as if it wished would I had never looked in such a flattering mirror. Oh, Narcissus, thou that worst ones and yet art my Narcissus, had Echo but been private with thy thoughts, she would have dropped away herself in tears, till she had all turned water, that in her, as in a truer glass, thou mightst have gazed and seen thy beauties by more kind reflection, but self-love never yet could look on truth but with blurt beams. Slick flattery and she are twin-born sisters, and so mix their eyes as if you sever one, the other dies. Why did the gods give thee a heavenly form and earthly thoughts and be proud of it? Why do I ask? Is now the known disease that beauty has to bear two deeper sense of her own self-conceived excellence? Oh, hadst thou known the worth of heaven's rich gift, thou wouldst have turned it to a truer use and not with starved and covetous ignorance pined in continual eyeing the glance were rough to others had been more than to thy famished mind the wide world store. So wretched is it to be merely rich! Witness thy youth's dear sweets he has spent untasted, like a fair taper, with his own flame. Waste it! Echo, be brief! Saturnia is abroad and if she here, she will come at Job's high will. I will, kind Mercury, be brief as time.  Thou dost obtain I were no son to Job should I deny thee. Begin, and more to grace thy cunning voice the humorous air shall mix her solemn tunes and add words. Strike music from the spheres and with your golden raptures swell our ears. Slow, slow, fresh found keep time with my salt tears yet slower yet oh faintly gentle springs list to the heavy part the music bears woe weeps out her division when she sings droop herbs and flowers fall grief and showers our beauties are not ours. Oh, I could still like melting snow upon some craggy hill drop, drop, drop, drop since nature's pride is now a withered death or deal. Now have you done? Presently, good Hermes, bide a little suffer my thirsty eye to gaze a while but even to taste the place and I am vanished. For go thy use in liberty of tongue and thou mayest well on earth and sport thee there. Here young Actaeon fell pursued and torn by Cynthia's wrath more eager than his hounds and here ah me, the place is fatal see the weeping Naiobi translated hither from Phrygian mountains and by Phoebe reared as the proud trophy of her sharp revenge. Nay, but here but here oh, here the fountain of self-love in which Latona and her careless nymphs countless of my sorrow bathe themselves in hourly pleasures. Stint thy babbling tongue fond echo, thou profanished the grace is done thee so idle wordlings merely made of voice censure the powers above them. Come away, Jove calls thee hence and his will brooks no stay. Oh, stay! I have but one poor thought and amons and then faith I go. Henceforth thou treacherous and murdering spring be ever called the fountain of self-love and with thy water let this curse remain as an inseparate plague that Hubert tasted dropped thereof may with the instant touch grow dotingly enamoured among themselves. Now, Hermes, I have finished. Then thy speech must hear forsake the echo and thy voice, as it was want, rebound but the last words. Farewell. Echo retiring.   This is somewhat above strange a nymph of her feature and liniment to be so preposterously rude well, I will but coo myself at Yon Spring and follow her. Nay, then, I am familiar with the issue I will leave you too. Exit. By the purity of my taste here is most ambrosia water I will sup of it again by thy favor sweet fount see the water a more runny a more runny a more runny a more runny a more runny a more runny a more runny a more runny see the water a more running, subtile and humorous nymph than she permits me to touch and handle her what should I infer if my behaviors had been of a cheaper customary garb my accent or phrase vulgar my garments trite my countenance illiterate or unpracticed in the encounter of a beautiful and brave attired piece then I might, with some change in my duties but, knowing my self in essence so sublimated and refined by travel of so studied and well exercised a gesture so alone and fashion able to render the face of any statesmen living and make the mere extraction of language one that hath now made the sixth return upon venture and it was your first that ever enriches country because of the doulo whose optics have drunk the spirit of beauty in some eight score and eighteen prince courts where I have resided and been there fortunate in the amours of three hundred and forty and five ladies all nobly if not princely descended, whose names I have in catalog to conclude and also happy as even admiration herself does seem her kisses upon me sirtees I do neither see nor feel nor taste nor favor the last dream or fume of a reason that should invite this foolish vestidious nymph so peevishly to abandon me well, let the memory of her fleet in the air my thoughts and I am for this other element water entercrites and assortus the well-dieted amorphous become a water-drinker I see he means not to write verses then no crities, why? because because what say you to your helicon? oh, the muses, well that's ever accepted sir, your muses have no such water, I assure you your mektar or the juice of your nepenthe is nothing to it it is above your methylglyne believe it methylglyne, what's that, sir? may I be so audacious to demand? a kind of Greek wine I have met with, sir in my travels it is the same that dimeththenes usually drunk in the composure of all his exquisite and malefluous orations that's to be argued, amorphous if we may credit Lucian who in his encomio dimostensis affirms he never drunk but water in any of his compositions Lucian is absurd he knew nothing I believe my own travels before all the Lucians of Europe he doth feed you with fitins figments and leasings indeed, I think next to Traveller he does pretty well I assure you it was wine I have tasted it and from the hand of an Italian antiquary who derives it authentically from the Duke of Ferreira's Bottles how name you, the gentleman you are in rank therewith, sir Diz Ascultus, son of the late-deceased philogyrus, the citizen was his father of any eminent place or means? I am prater next year Ha! a pretty formal young gallant in good soothe pity he is not mere gently propagated Hark you, Creties you may say to him what I am if you please though I affect not popularity yet I would loathe to stand out to any whom you shall vouchsafe to call friend Sir, I fear I may do wrong to your sufficiencies in the reporting them by forgetting or misplacing someone. Yourself can best inform him of yourself, sir except you had some catalogue or list of your faculties ready-drawn which you would request me to show him for you and him to take notice of Amorphous aside This Creties is sour I will think, sir Do so, sir Creties aside Oh, Heaven, that any thing in the likeness of a man should suffer these racked extremities for the uttering of his sophisticated good parts Creties, I have a suit to you but you must not deny me pray make this gentleman and I friends Friends, why is there any difference between you? No, I mean acquaintance to know each other Oh, now I apprehend you your phrase was without me before Good faith, he's the most excellent rare man I warrant him Creties aside Slight, they are mutually enamoured by this time Will you, sweet Creties? Yes, yes Nay, but when, you'll defer it now and forget it Why is it a thing of such present necessity that it requires so violent a dispatch? No, but would I might never stir he's the most ravishing man Creties, you shall endear me to you in good faith now Well, your longing shall be satisfied, sir And with all you may tell him what my father was and how well he left me and that I am his heir Leave it to me, I'll forget none of your dear graces, I warrant you Nay, I know you could better marshal these affairs than I can Oh, gods, I give all the world if I head it for an abundance of such acquaintance What ridiculous circumstance might I devise now to bestow this reciprocal brace of butterflies one upon another? Since I trod on this side the Alps I was not so frozen in my invention Let me see, to cost him with some choice remnant of Spanish or Italian that would indifferently express my languages now Mary then, if he shall fall out to be ignorant it were both hard and harsh How else, step into some ragione del Stato and so make my induction that were above him too and out of his element I fear feign to have seen him in Venus or Padua or some face near his in similitude to his two pointed and open no, it must be more quaint and collateral device as stay to frame some incommunastic speech upon this or metropolis or the wise magistrates thereof in which politic number to his odds but his father filled up a room descends into a particular admiration of their justice for the due measuring of coals, burning of hands and such like as also their religion and pulling down a superstitious cross and advancing a Venus or Priapas in place of it ha, twill do well or to talk of some hospital whose walls record his father a benefactor or of so many buckets bestowed on his parish church in his lifetime with his name at length or want of arms trick it upon them any of these or to praise the cleanness of this trait wherein he dwelt or the provident painting of his posts against he should have been praetor or leaving his parent come to some special ornament about himself as his rapier or some other of his improvements I have it, thanks gracious Minerva would I head but once spoke to him and then he comes to be it is a most curious and neatly wrought band the same as I have seen sir oh lord sir you forgive the humor of my nigh it observing it cry his aside his eye waters after it it seems there needs no such apology I assure you I am anticipated they'll make a solemn deed of gift themselves you shall see your ribboned too does most gracefully entroth taste the most gentile and received wear now sir believe me sir I speak it not to whom are you I have not seen a young gentleman he put on his clothes with more judgment oh it is your pleasure to say so sir no as I am virtuous being altogether untraveled it strikes me into wonder I do purpose to travel sir at spring I think I shall affect you sir this last speech of yours have begun to make you dear to me oh lord sir I would there were anything in me sir that might appear worthy the least worthiness of your worth sir I protest sir I should endeavor to show it sir with more than common regard sir cry his aside oh here's rare motley sir both your dessert and your endeavors are plentiful suspect them not but your sweet disposition to travel I assure you hath made another myself in my nigh and struck me enamored on your beauties I would I were the fairest lady of France for your sake sir and yet I would travel too oh you should digress from yourself else for believe it your travel is your only thing that rectifies or as the Italian says vi rendi pronto all atone makes you fit for action I think it be great charge though sir charge why it is nothing for a gentleman that goes private as yourself or so my intelligent shall quit my charge at all time good faith this hath hath possessed mine I exceedingly it is so pretty and fantastic what it is a beaver aye sir I'll assure you it is a beaver it cost me eight crowns but this morning after your french account yes sir crities aside and so near his head be shrew me dangerous a very pretty fashion believe me and a most novel kind of trim your band is conceded to sir it is all at your service oh pardon me I beseech you sir if you please to wear it you shall do me a most infinite grace crities aside slight will he be praised out of his clothes by heaven sir I do not offer it you after the Italian manner I would you should conceive so of me sir I shall fear to appear rude in denying your court disease especially being invited by so proper a distinction may I pray your name sir my name is a sotus sir I take your love gentle sotus but let me win you to receive this in exchange the exchange beavers crities aside heart they'll change doublets anon and from this time esteem yourself in the first rank of those few whom I profess to love what make you and company of this scholar here I will bring you known to gallants as an aides of the ordinary in the court here and others whose society shall render you graced and respected this is a trivial fellow too mean, too cheap too coarse for you to converse with slid this is not worth a crown and mine cost me eight but this morning I looked when he would repent him he has begun to be sad a good while sir shall I say to you for that hat be not so sad be not so sad it is relic I could not so easily have departed with but as the hieroglyphic of my affection you shall alter it to what form you please you will take any block I have received it varied on record to the three thousandth time and not so few it hath these virtues beside your head shall not ache under it nor your brain leave you without license it will preserve your complexion to eternity for no beam of the sun should you wear it under zonatorita hath power to approach it by two L's it is proof against slender and enchantment and was given me by a great man in Russia as in a special prized present and constantly affirmed to be the hat that accompanied the politic in his tedious and ten years travel by jove I will not depart with all whosoever would give me a million enter cars and prosities save you sweet bloods does any of you want a creature or a dependent reshoot me a fine blunt slave a page of good timber it will now be my grace to entertain him first though I capture him again in private how art thou called cause sir cause cause how happily hath fortune furnished him with a whetstone I do entertain you cause conceal your equality until we be private if your parts be worthy of money I will countenance you if not catichize you gentles shall we go stay sir I'll but entertain this other fellow and then I have a great humour to taste of this water too but I'll come again alone for that mark the place what's your name you've prosities sir prosities a very fine name is it not yes and a very ancient one sir the beggar follow me good prosities let's talk he will rank even with you ere to be long if you hold on your course O vanity how are they painted beauties doted on by light and empty idiots how pursued with open and extended appetite how they do sweat and run themselves from breath raised on their toes to catch thy eerie forms still turning giddy till they real like drunkards that buy the merry madness of one hour the insumeness of following time oh how despised and base a thing is man if he not strive to erect his groveling thoughts above the strain of flesh but how more cheap when even his best and understanding part the crown and strength of all his faculties floats like a dead drowned body on the stream of vulgar humour mixed with commonest dregs I suffer for their guilt now and my soul like one that looks all ill-affected eyes is hurt with mere intention on their follies why will I view them then my sense might ask me or is it a rarity or some new object that strains my strict observance to this point oh would it were therein I could afford my spirit should draw a little near to theirs to gaze on novelties so vice were won tut she astell rank foul and were it not that those who were her greet her with locked eyes in spite of all the imposters paintings, drugs which her bod custom dobs or cheeks with all she would betray her loathed in leprous face and fright the enamoured daughters from themselves but such is the perverseness of our nature that if we once but fancy levity how antique and ridiculous so ere it suit with us yet will our not choose rather not to see it than avoid it and if we can but banish our own sense we act our mimic tricks with that free license that lust that pleasure that security as if we practice in pace board case and no one saw the motion but the motion well check thy passion lest it grow too loud while fools are pitied they wax fat and proud end of act one act two of Cynthia's revels or the fountain of self love by Ben Johnson this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org act two scene one the court enter Cupid and Mercury disguised as pages why this was most unexpectedly followed my divine delicate Mercury by the beard of Jove thou art a precious deity nay Cupid leave to speak improperly since we are turned cracks let's study to be like cracks practice their language and behaviors and not with a dead imitation act freely carelessly and capriciously as if our veins ran with quick silver and not utter a phrase but what shall come forth steeped in the very brine of conceit and sparkle like salt in fire that's not everyone's happiness Hermes though you can presume upon the easiness and dexterity of your wit you shall give me leave to be a little jealous of mine and not desperately to hazard it after your capering humor nay then Cupid I think we must have you hoodwinked again for you are grown too provident since your eyes were at liberty so Mercury I am still blind Cupid to thee and what to the Lady Nymph you serve true page boy and sura these are all my titles then thou has not altered thy name with thy disguise oh no that had been super irrigation you shall never hear your courtier call but by one of these three faith then both our fortunes are the same why what personal man has thou lighted on master such a one as before I began to decipher him I dare not affirm to be anything less than a courtier so much he is during this open time of rebels and would be longer but that his means are to leave him shortly after his name is he done a gallant holy consecrated to his pleasures he didn't he uses much to my lady's chamber I think how was she called and then I can show thee Madame Felucia oh I he affects her very particularly indeed these are his graces he doth besides me keep a barber and a monkey he has a rich wrought waistcoat to entertain his visitants in with a cap almost suitable his curtains and betting are thought to be his own his bathing tub is not suspected he loves to have a fencer a pedant and a musician seen in his lodgings a mornings and not a poet fine no himself is a rhymer and that's thought better than a poet he is not lightly within his mercer no though he come when he takes physics which is commonly after his play he beats a tailor very well but a stocking seller admirably and so consequently anyone he owes money to that dares not resist him he never makes general invitement but the publishing of a new suit Mary then you shall have more drawn to his lodging then come to the launching of some three ships especially if he be furnished with supplies for the retiring of his old wardrobe from pawn if not he does hire a stock of apparel and some forty or fifty pounds in gold for that forenoon to show he is thought a very necessary perfume for the presence and for that only cause welcome whether six millioner shops afford you not the like sent he courts ladies with how many great horse he has rid that morning or how often he has done the whole or half the Pamad in a seven night before and sometimes ventures so far upon the virtue of his Pamanda that he dares tell him how many shirts he has sweat a tennis that week but wisely conceals so many dozen of balls he is on that score here he comes that is all this enter Haydn Anaides in july boy sir are any of the ladies in the presence none yet sir give me some gold more is that thy boy here on I am what things thou of him I'd gelt him I warrant he has the philosophers stone well said my good melancholy devil Sarah I have devised one or two of the prettiest oaths this morning in my bed is ever thou hurst to protest with all in the presence pretty let's hear them soft thou'd use them a for me no damn me then I have more oaths than I know how to utter by this air faith the one is by the tip of your ear sweet lady is it not pretty and genteel yes for the person tis applied to a lady it should be light and nay the other is better exceeds it much the invention is father fed too by the white valley that lies between the alpine hills your bosom I protest well you traveled for that he'd on I in a map where his eyes were but blind guides to his understanding it seems and then I have a salutation will nick all by this caper hey how is that you know I call madame philodia my honor and she calls me her ambition now when I meet her in the presence and on I will come to her and say sweet honor I fear that you contented my sense with the lilies of your hand but now I will taste the roses of your lip and with all kiss her do which she cannot but blushing answer nay now you are too ambitious and then do I reply I cannot too ambitious of honor sweet lady who will not be good I was sure your soul by heaven I think will be excellent and a very apolitic achievement of a kiss I have thought upon one for Mariah of a sudden two if it take what is my dear invention Mary I will come to her and she always wears a moth if you be remembered and I will tell her madam your whole self cannot but be perfectly wise for your hands have wit enough to keep themselves warm there before Jove admirable July alas look the page takes a tool by Phoebus my sweet facetious rascal I could eat watergrew with the a month for this jest my dear rogue oh Hercules tis your only dish above all your potatoes or oyster pies in the world I have ruminated upon a most rare wish too in the prophecy to it but I have some friend to be the prophet as thus I do wish myself unto my mistresses Chopinny another demands why would he be one of his mistresses Chopinny a third answers because he would make a hire a fourth shall say that will make her proud and a fifth shall conclude then do I prophesy pride will have a fall and he shall give it her I will be your prophet God so it will be most exquisite thou art a fine and ventious rogue sirah and I have poses forings too and riddles that they dream not of Tut they'll do that when they come to sleep on them time enough but were thy devices never in the presence yet on oh no I disdain that for good we went a four then and brought them acquainted with the room where they shall act lest the strangeness of it put them out of countenance when they should come forth exult Hayden and Anna Edis is that a courtier too troth no he has two essential parts of the courtier pride and ignorance the ordinary the rest come somewhat after the ordinary gallant his impudence itself one that speaks all that comes in his cheeks and will blush no more than a second but he lightly occupies the jester's room at the table and keeps laughter, galalia a wench in pages attire following him in place of a squire whom he now and then tickles with some strange ridiculous stuff uttered as his land came to him he will censure or to score so of anything but as absurdly as you would wish his fashion is not to take knowledge of him that is beneath him in clothes he never drinks below the salt he does naturally admire his wit that wears gold lace or tissue stabs any man that speaks more contemptibly the scholar than he he is a great proficient in all the illiberal sciences as cheating, drinking, swaggering, and such like never kneels but to pledge health nor prays for a pipe of pudding tobacco he will blasphemize in his shirt the oath which he vomits at one supper would maintain a town of garrison in good swearing a twelve month one other genuine quality he has which crowns all these and that is this to a friend in want he will not depart with the weight of a soldiered groat or report him a gull marry to his cockatrice or poquetto half a dozen taffeta gowns or satin curls in a pair or two of months why they are nothing I commend him he is one of my clients they retired to the back of the stage enter amorphous, asotus and cause come sir you are now within regard of the presence and see the privacy of this room how sweetly it offers itself to our retired indentments page cast a vigilant and inquiring eye about that we be not rudely surprised by the approach of some ruder stranger I warn't you sir I'll tell you when the wolf enters fear nothing oh what a massive benefit shall we possess in being the invisible spectators of this strange show now to be acted plant yourselves there sir and certainly you shall now as well be the killer as the ear witness how clearly I can refill that paradox or rather pseudo docs of those which hold the face to be the index of the mind which I assure you is not so in any politic creature instance I will now give you the particular and distinct face of every your most noted species of persons as your merchant your scholar your soldier your lawyer courtier etc and each of these so truly as you would swear but that your eyes shall see the variation of the linement it were my most proper and genuine aspect first for your merchant or city face tis thus a dull plotting face still looking in a direct line forward there is no great matter in the space then have you your students or academics face which is here an honest simple and methodical face but somewhat more spread than the former the third is your soldiers a menacing and astounding face that looks broad and big the grace of his face consistent much of the in a beard the anti faced at this is your lawyer face a contracted sub tile and intricate face full of quirks and termings a labyrinthian face now angularly now circularly every way aspected next is your status space a serious solemn and super silliest space full of formal and square gravity the eye for the most part deeply and artificially shadowed there is great judgment required in the making of this face but now to come to your face of faces or a courtier's face tis of three sorts according to our subdivision of the courtier elementary, practic and therodic your courtier therodic is he that arrived to his farthest and does now know the court rather by speculation than practice this is his face if the studious and oblique face that looks as it went the vice and were screwed thus your courtier practic is he that is yet in his path his course his way and hath not touched the punctillo or point of his hopes his face is here the most promising open smooth and overflowing face that seems as it would run and pour itself into you somewhat a northerly face your courtier elementary is one but newly entered or as it were in the alphabet or at re mi fa sol la of courtship note well this face for it is this you must practice I'll practice them all if you please sir I hereafter you may and it will not be altogether or ungrateful study for let your soul be assured of this in any rank or profession whatever the more general or major part of opinion goes with the face and simply respects nothing else therefore if that can be made exactly curiously exquisitely thoroughly it is enough for the present you shall only apply yourself to this face of the elementary courtier a light, reveling and protesting face now blushing now smiling which you may help much with a wanton waking of your head thus a feather will teach you or with kissing your finger that has the ruby or playing with some string of your band which is most quaint kind melancholy besides or if among ladies laughing loud and crying up to some wit though perhaps borrowed it is not a miss where is your page call for your casting bottle and place your mirror in your hat as I told you so come look not pale, observe me set your face and enter mercury aside oh for some excellent painter to have taken the copy of all these faces by I premonish you of that in the court boy laque or sarah master lupus in otis prosaities inter prosaities sira prepare my casting bottle I think I must be enforced to purchase me another page you see how at hand costs waits here excellent amorphous assortus cars and prosaities so will he too in time what's he mercury a notable smelt one that hath newly entertained the beggar to follow him but cannot get him to wait near enough disassortus the heir of filigaris but first I'll give you the other's character which may make his the clearer he that is with him amorphous a traveller one so made out of the mixture of shreds of forms that himself is truly deformed he walks most commonly with a clove or pick-tooth in his mouth he is a very mint of compliment all his behaviors are printed his face is another volume of assays and his beard is his nervous carous he speaks all cream skimmed and more affected than a dozen waiting women in every place the wife of the ordinary gives him his diet to maintain her table in discourse which indeed is a mariturny over her other guests for he will usurp all the talk ten constables are not so tedious he is no great shifter once a year his apparel is ready to revolt he doth use much to arbitrate quarrels and fights himself exceedingly well out at a window he will lie cheaper than any beggar and louder than most clocks for which he is right properly accommodated to the whetstone his page the other gallant is his zany and doth most of these tricks after him sweats to imitate him and everything to a hair except a beard which is not yet extent he doth learn to make strange sauces to eat anchovies macaroni, bovoli faglioli and caviar because he loves them he speaks as he speaks looks, walks, goes so in clothes and fashion is in all as if he were bolded of him marry before they met he had other very pretty sufficiencies which yet he retains some light impression of as frequenting a dancing school and grievously torturing strangers with inquisition after his grace in his galley-yard he buys a fresh acquaintance at any rate his eyes and his his eyes and his rain-ment confer much together as he goes in the street he treads nicely like the fellow that walks upon ropes, especially the first Sunday of his silk stockings and when he is most neat and new you shall strip him with commendations here comes another Cretis passes over at the stage I but one of another strain cupid this fellow weighs somewhat his name, Hermes Cretis a creature of a most perfect and divine temper one in whom the humours and elements are peaceably met without emulation of precedency he is neither too fantastically melancholy too slowly phlegmatic, too lightly sanguine or too rashly choloric but in all so composed and ordered as it is clear nature went about some full work she did more than make a man when she made him his discourse is like his behaviour uncommon but not unpleasing he is prodigal of neither he strives rather to be that which men call judicious than to be thought so and it is so truly learned that he affects not to show it he will think and speak his thought both freely but as distant from depraving another man's merit as proclaiming his own for his valor tis such that he dares as little to offer any injury as receive one in some he hath a most ingenuous and sweet spirit a sharp and seasoned wit a straight judgment and a strong mind fortune could never break him nor make him less he counts it his pleasure to despise pleasures and is more delighted with good deeds than goods it is a competency to him that he can be virtuous he doth neither covet nor fear he hath too much reason to do either and that commends all things to him not better than mercury commends him oh cupid tis beyond my deity to give him his due praises I could leave my place in heaven to live among mortals where I so sure to be no other than he a slight I believe he is your minion you seem to be so ravished with him he is one I would not have a rye thought darted against willingly no but a straight shaft in his bosom all promise him if I am sytheria's son shall we go cupid stay and see the ladies now they'll come presently I'll help to paint them what lake color upon color that affords but an ill blazin here comes metal to help it the lady Argyrian Argyrion passes over the stage money money the same a nymph of a most wandering and giddy disposition humorous as the air shall run from gallant to gallant as they sit at premiero in the presence most strangely and seldom stays with any she spreads as she goes today you shall have her look as clear and fresh as the morning and tomorrow as melancholic as midnight she takes special pleasure in a close obscure lodging and for that cause visits the city so often where she has many secret true concealing favorites when she comes abroad she's more loose and scattering than dust and will fly from place to place as you are wrapped with a whirlwind your young student for the most part she affects not only salute him and away a poet nor a philosopher she is hardly brought to take any notice of no though he be some part of an alchemist she loves a player well and a lawyer infinitely but your fool above all she can do much in court for the obtaining of any suit whatsoever no door but flies open to her her presence is above a charm the worst in her is want of keeping state and too much descending into inferior and base offices she's for any course employment you will put upon her as to be your procurer or panda peace cupid here comes more work for you another character or two enter fantastic Moria and the Latia stay sweet for Lasha I'll but change my fan and go presently now in very good serious ladies I will have this order reversed the presence must be better maintained from you a quarter past eleven and now an infant perspective but shrew my hand there must be a reformed discipline is that your new rough sweet lady bird by my trust is most intricately rare good job what reverend gentle woman in years might this be this matter Moria guardian of the nymphs one that is not now to be persuaded of her wit she will think herself wise against all the judgments that come a lady made all of voice and air talks anything of anything she's like one of your ignorant poet asters of the time who when they have got acquainted with a strange word never rest till they have rung it in even though it loosened the whole fabric of their sense that was pretty and sharply noted cupid she will tell you philosophy was a fine reveler when she was young and a gallant and that then though she say it she was thought to be the dame dido and Helen of the court as also what a sweet dog she had this time four years and how it was called fortune and that if the fates are not cut his threat he had been a dog to have given entertainment to any gallant in this kingdom and unless she had well did herself she could not have loved a thing better in this world oh I pretty no more I am full of her yes I must need tell you she composes a sack poset well and would court a young page sweetly but that her breath is against it well now her breath or something more strong protect me from her the other the other cupid oh that's my lady and mistress madam Volosha she admires not herself for anyone particularity but for all she is fair and she knows it she's a pretty lightweight too and she knows it she can dance and she knows that too play at shuttlecock and that too no quality she has but she shall take a very particular knowledge of and most lady like commended to you you shall have her at any time read you the history of herself and very subtly run over another lady's sufficiencies to come to her own she has a good superficial judgment in painting and would seem to have so in poetry a most complete lady in the opinion of some three beside herself face how like do my quip to heeden about the garter was not witty exceedingly witty and integrate you did so aggravate the jester with all and did I not dance movingly the last night movingly out of measure in troth sweet charge a happy commendation to dance out of measure save only you wanted the swim in the turn oh when I was at fourteen a that's my own from any nymph in the court I'm sure on it therefore you mistake me in that guardian both the swim and to trip are probably mine everybody will affirm it that has any judgment in dancing I assure you come now falasha I am for you shall we go I good fantastic what have you changed your head tire yes faith the other was near the common it had no extraordinary grace besides I had worn it almost a day in good troth I'll be sworn this is most excellent for the device and rare does after the Italian print we looked on the other night to so by this van I cannot abide anything that savers the poor overwarn cut that has any kindred with it I must have variety I this mixing in fashion worse than to burn juniper in my chamber I protest and yet we cannot have a new peculiar court tire but these retainers will have it these suburb Sunday waiters these courtiers for high days I know not what I should call them oh they do most pitifully imitate but I have a tire a coming in faith shall in good certain madam it makes you look most heavenly but lay your hand on your heart you never skinned a new beauty more prosperously in your life no more metaphysically look good lady sweet lady look is very clear and well believe me but if you had seen mine yesterday went was young you would have who's your doctor fantast nay that's council philosophy you shall pardon me yet I'll assure you he's the most dainty sweet absolute rare man of the whole college oh his very looks his discourse his behavior all he does is I protest for heaven's sake his name good dear fantast no no no no no no believe me not for a millions of heavens I will not make him cheap exude fantaste moria and velatia there is a nymph two of the most curious and elaborate strain light all motion and ubiquitari she is everywhere fantast her very name speaks her let her pass but are these stupid the stars of Cynthia's court do these nymphs attend upon Diana they are in her court mercury but not a stars these never come in the presence of Cynthia the nymphs that make her train are the divine eret time frenesis Thoma and others of that high sort these are privately brought in by moria in this licentious time against her knowledge and like so many meteors will vanish when she appears enter prosciety singing followed by Jalea and Kaz with bottles come follow me my wax and say as I say there's no riches but in ranks hey day hey day you that profess this art come away come away and help to bear the part hey day hey day mercury and cupid come forward what those that were our fellow pages but now so soon preferred to be yeoman of the bottles the mystery the mystery good wags some diet drink they have the guard of no sir we are going in quest of a strange fountain lately found out by whom my master or the great discoverer amorphous thou hast well entitled him Kaz for he will discover all he knows I and a little more too when the spirit is upon him oh the good traveling gentlemen yonder has caused such a drought in the presence with reporting the wonders of this new water that all the ladies and gallants lie languishing upon the rushes like so many pounded cattle in the midst of harvest siding to one another and gasping as if each of them expected a cock from the fountain to be brought into his mouth and without we return quickly they are all as a youth would say no better than a few trout cast ashore or a dish of eels in a sandbag well then you are best to spatch and have a care of them come cubid thou and I'll go peruse this dry wonder excellent end of act two act three of Cynthia's Rebels for the fountain of self-love by Ben Johnson this is a LibriVox recording while LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org scene one in apartment at the court enter amorphous and asotus sir let not this discounted answer discount you a wit you must not sink under the first disaster as with your young grammatical courtier as with your neophyte player a thing usual to be daunted at the first presence or interview you saw there was he done with a nades far more practiced gallons than yourself who were both out to comfort you it is no disgrace no more then for your adventurous reveler to fall by some inauspicious chance in his Gileard or for some subtile politic to undertake the best Donato that the state might think worthily of him and respect him as a man well beaten to the world what? after Taylor provided the property we speak of at your chamber or no I think he has read you be not so flat and melancholic erect your mind you shall redeem this with the courtship I will teach you against this afternoon where eat you today where you please sir anywhere I come let us go and taste some light dinner a dish of sliced caviar or so and after you shall practice an hour at your lodging the forms that I have recalled if you had but so far gathered your spirits to you as to have taken up a rush when you were out and waged thus or cleanse your teeth with it or but turned its side and feigned some business to whisper with your page till you had recovered yourself or but found some slight stain in your stocking or any other pretty invention so it had been sudden you might have come off with the most clear and curtly grace a poison of all I think I was for spoke I know I must tell you you are not audacious enough you must frequent ordinaries a month more to initiate yourself in which time it will not be miss if in private you keep good your acquaintance with Cretis or some other of his poor coat visit his lodging secretly and often become an earnest suitor to hear some of his labors oh jove sir I could never get him to read a line to me you must then wisely mix yourself in rank with such as you know can and as your ears do meet with a new phrase or an acute jest take it in a quick nimble memory will lift it away and at your next public meal it is your own but I shall never utter it perfectly sir no matter let it come lame in ordinary talk you shall play it away as you do your late crowns at premiere it will pass I shall attempt sir do it is your shifting age for wit and I assure you men must be prudent after this you may decourt and there fall in first with the waiting woman then with the lady but case they do retain the you there as a fit property to hire coaches some pair of months or so or to read them asleep in afternoons upon some pretty pamphlet to read you why it shall in time embolden you to some farther achievement the interim you may fashion yourself to be careless and impudent how if they would have me to make verses I heard he didn't spoke to for some why you must prove the aptitude of your genius if you find none you must harken out of vain and by provided you pay for the silence as for the work then you may securely call it your own and I'll give out my acquaintance with all the best writers to countenance me the more rather seem not to know them it is your best I be wise that you never so much as mention the name of one or remember it mentioned but if they be offered to you in discourse shake your light head make between a sad and a smiling face pity some rail at all commend yourself it is your only safe and unsuspected course come you shall look back upon the court again today and be restored to your colors I do now partly aim at the cause of your repulse which was ominous indeed for as you enter at the door there is opposed to you the frame of a wolf in the hangings which surprising your eyes only gave a false alarm to the heart since it called your blood out of your face and so rooted the whole rank of your spirits I beseech you labor to forget and remember as I inculcated to you before for your comfort hedon and anise exult seen to another apartment in the same enter Hayden and anites heart was ever so an invention thus unluckily perverted and spoiled by a horse and bookworm a candle-waster nay be not impatient hedon slight I would faint know his name hang him poor grogan rascal pretty think not of him I'll send for him to my lodging and have him blinketed when thou wilt man odd so I would thou couldst look here it comes enter crities and walks in amusing posture at the back of the stage love it him love it him ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha foe he smells all lamp oil withstudying by candle light how confidently he went by us and carelessly never moved nor stared at anything did you observe him aye apox on him Let him go, doormouse. He is in a dream now. He has no other time to sleep, but thus when he walks abroad to take the air. Spiricious! This afflicts me more than all the rest that we should, so particularly direct our hate and contempt against him, and he to carry it thus without wound or passion is insufferable. Slid, my Tirenvy! If thou but sest the word now, I'll undo him eternally for thee.  Mary, have a score of us get him in one night, and make him pawn his wit for a supper. Away thou hast such unseasonable jests! By this heaven I wonder at nothing more than our gentlemen ushers that will suffer a piece of surge or pepper tuana to come into the presence. We think they should, out of their experience, better distinguish the silken disposition of courtyours than to let such terrible coarse rags mix with us, able to fret any smooth or gentle society to the threads with their rubbing devices. Unless we're lent, enbour weeks, or fasting days, when the place is most penuriously empty of all other good outsides, damn me, if I should adventure on his company once more, without a suit of buff to defend my wit. He does nothing but stab the slave. How mischievously he crossed thy device of the prophecy there! And, Mariah, she comes without her muff, too, and there my invention was lost. Well, I am resolved what I will do. What, my good spiritual spark! Mere, speak all the venom I can of him, and poison his reputation in every place where I come. For God, most courtly! And if I'd shouts to be present where any question is made of his sufficiencies, or of anything he hath done private or public, I'll censure it slightly, and ridiculously. At any hand, beware of that, so thou mayst draw thine own judgment and suspect. No, I'll instruct thee what thou shalt do, and by a safer means. Approve anything thou hearest of his, to the received opinion of it, but if it be extraordinary, give it from him to some other whom thou more particularly affects. That's the way to plague him, and he shall never come to defend himself. Slud, I'll give out all he does as dictated from other men, and swear it, too, if thou'lt have me, and that I know the time and place where he stole it. Though my soul be guilty of no such thing, and that I think, out of my heart, he hates such barren shifts.  Grammar, say, my dear devil, we'll put it seriously in practice of faith. Exhumed, hasten, and anities. Crutty's coming forward. Do good detraction, do, and I the while shall shake thy spite off with a careless smile. Poor piteous gallants, what lean idle slights their thoughts suggest to flatter their starved hopes, as if I knew not how to entertain these straw devices. But a force must yield to the weak stroke of their colluminious tongues. What should I care what every door doth buzz in credulous hears? It is a crown to me, that the best judgments can report me wronged, them liars, and their slanders impudent, perhaps upon the rumor of their speeches. Some grieved friend will whisper to me. Crutty's, men speak ill of thee. So they be ill men, if they spake worse, twerp better, for of such to be dispraised is the most perfect praise. What can his censure hurt me, whom the world hath censured vile before me? If good Crestus, Uthus, or Fronimus had spoke the words, they would have moved me, and I should have called my thoughts and actions to a strict account upon hearing. But when I remember Tizheden and Aniades, alas, then I think but what they are, and have not stirred. The one a light voluptuous reveler, the other a strange irrigating puff, both impudent and ignorant enough. They talk as they want, not as I merit, produced by custom as most dogs do bark. Do nothing out of judgment, but disease, speak ill, because they never could speak well. And who'd be angry with this rice of creatures? What wise physician have we ever seen moved with a frantic man?  Should a right mind carry to such as these? And I do count it a most rare revenge, that I can thus, with such a sweet neglect, pluck from them all the pleasure of their malice, for that's the mark of all their ingenious drifts, to wound my patients how so ever they seem to aim at other objects, which if missed their envies like an arrow shot upright, that in the fall endangers their own heads. And to Arete. What crities? Where have you drawn forth a day? You have not visited your jealous friends. Where I have seen most honoured Arete, the strangest patient, fashioned like a court. At least I dreamt I saw it, so diffused, so painted, pied, and full of rainbow strains, as never yet, either by time or place, was made the food of my distasted sense. Nor can my weak imperfect memory now render half the forms into my tongue, that were convolved within this thrifty room. Here stalked me by a proud and spangled sir, that looks three handfuls higher than his foretop, savers himself alone, is only kind and loving to himself, one that will speak more dark and doubtful than six oracles, salutes a friend as if he had a stitch, is his own chronicle, and scares can eat for registering himself, is weighted on by mimics, gestures, panders, parasites, and other such like prodigies of men. He past appears some menacing marmoset, made of all clothes and face, his limbs so set as if they had some voluntary act without man's motion, and must move just so in spite of their creation, one that weighs his breath between his teeth, and dares not smile beyond a point, for fear to starch his look, hath travelled to make legs, and seen the cringe of several courts and courtiers, knows the time of giving titles and of taking walls, hath read court common place, made them his, studied the grammar of state, and all the rules each formal usher in that politic school can teach a man. A third comes giving nods to his repenting creditors, protests to weeping suitors, takes the coming gold of insolent and base ambition, that hourly rubs his dry and itchy palms, which griped like burning coals he hurls away into the lapse of bods and buffoon's mouths, with him there meet some subtle proteas, one can change, and vary with all forms he sees, be anything but honest, serves the time, hovers betwixt two factions, and explores the drifts of both, which with cross face he bears to the divided heads, and is received with mutual grace of either, one that dares due deeds worthy the hurdle or the wheel, to be thought somebody, and is ensued such as the satirist points truly forth, that only to his crimes owes all his worth. You tell us wonders, crities. This is nothing. There stands a neophyte glazing of his face, pruning his clothes, perfuming of his hair, against his idle intrs, and repeats, like an unperfect prologue at third music, his part of speeches and confederate jests, in passion to himself. Another swears his scene of courtship over, bids believe him, twenty times ere they will, a non-death seem as he would kiss away his hand in kindness, then walks off melancholic, and stand reed, as he were pinned up to the heiress thus. A third is most in action, swims, and frisks, plays with his mistress paps, salutes her pumps, adores her hymns, her skirts, her knots, her curls, will spend his patrimony for a garter, or the least feather in her bounteous fan.  Then must the ladies laugh, straight becomes their scene, a sixth's times worse confusion than the rest, where you shall hear one talk of this man's eye, another of his lip, a third his nose. A fourth can mend his leg, a fifth his foot, a sixth his hand, and every one a limb. That you would think the poor distorted gallant must there expire. Then fall they in discourse of tires and fashions, how they must take place, where they may kiss, and whom, when to sit down, and what grace to rise, if they salute, what curtsy they must use, such cobweb stuff, as would enforce the commonest sense abhor the arachnian workers. Patience, gentle crities, this knot of spiders will be soon dissolved, and all their webs swept out of Cynthia's court, when once her glorious deity appears, and but presents herself in her full light, till when go in and spend your hours with us, your honoured friends. Time and phronesis, in contemplation of our goddess's name, think on some sweet and choice invention now, worthy her serious and illustrious eyes, that from the merit of it we may take desired occasion to prefer your worth, and to make your service known to Cynthia. It is the pride of a writ to grace her studious lovers, and, in scorn of time, envy and ignorance, to lift their state above a vulgar height. True happiness consists not in the multitude of friends, but in their worth and choice. Nor would I have virtue, a popular regard pursue. Let them be good that love me, though but few. I kiss thy hands, divine esterete, and vow myself to thee, and Cynthia. Exult. Scene three, another apartment in the same. Enteromorphus, followed by Asotus and his tailor. A little more forward, socer. No, go in. Disclook yourself and come forth. Exit Asotus. Tailor, bestow thy absence upon us. And be not prodigal of this secret, but to a dear customer. Exit Tailor, re-enter Asotus. Tis well entered, sir. Stay.  Your pace is too impetuous.    Prove thus much, I pray you. Yes, sir. Pray, Jove, I can light on it. Here I come in, you say, and present myself. Good.  Very good. Now, sir, I stifle and advance forward. Trembling. Yes, sir, trembling. I shall do it better when I come to it, and what must I speak now? Mary, you shall say Dear Beauty, or Sweet Honor, or by what other title you please to remember her. Me thinks you are melancholy. This is, if she be alone now, and discompanied. Well, sir, I'll enter again. Her title shall be My Dear Linda Brides. Linda Brides? I, sir, the Emperor Arikhandral's daughter, and the Prince Meridian's sister, in the night of the sun. She shall have been married to him, but that the Princess Clara Diana. Oh, you betray your reading. Nay, sir, I have read history. I am a little humanitarian. Interrupt me not, good sir.  I, and take her by the rosy-fingered hand. Must I so? Oh, my dear Linda Brides, me thinks you are melancholy. Or thus, sir, all variety, divine pleasure, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attires, soft beds, and silken thoughts attend this dear beauty. Believe me, that's pretty. All variety of divine pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attires, soft beds, and silken thoughts attend this dear beauty. And then, offering to kiss her hand, if she shall clearly recall, you'll and signify your repulse. You are to reinforce yourself with more than most fair lady.  This is hard by my faith. I'll begin it all again. Do so, and I will act it for your lady. Will you vouch safe, sir? All variety of divine pleasures, choice sports, sweet music, rich fare, brave attires, soft beds, and silken thoughts attend this dear beauty. So, sir, pray you away. More than most fair lady, let not the rigor of your just disdain, this coarsely censure of your servant's zeal, I protest you are the only and absolute unparalleled unparalleled creature I do adore, and admire, and respect, and reverence, in this corner of the world or kingdom. This is if she abide you. But now put the case she should be passant when you enter. As thus you are to frame your gate thereafter, and call upon her Lady Nymph, sweet refuge, star of our court.  If regardant, then maintain your station, brisk and irp. Show the supple motion of your pailant body, but in chief of your knee and hand, which cannot put a ride her proud humor exceedingly. I conceive you, sir. I shall perform all these things in good time, I doubt not, they do so hit me. Well, sir, I am your lady. Make use of any of these beginnings, or some other out of your own invention, and prove how you can hold it. And follow it. Say, say. Yes, sir. My dear Linda Brighties. No, you affect that Linda Bright's too much, and let me tell you, it is not so courtly. Your pedant should provide you some parcels of French, or some pretty commodity of Italian, to commence with, if you would, be exotic and exquisite. Yes, sir, he was at my lodging till the morning. I gave him a doublet. Double your benevolence, and give him the hose, too. Clothe you his body. He will help to apparel your mind. But now see what your proper genius can perform alone, without ejection of any other menerva. I comprehend you, sir. I do stand you, sir. Fall back to your first place. Good. Passing well, very properly pursued. Beautiful, ambiguous, and sufficient lady. What are you all alone? We would be, sir, if you would leave us. I am at your beauty's appointment, Bright Angel, but— What but? No harm, more than most fair feature. That touch relished well. But I protest. And why should you protest? For good will, dear esteemed madam, and I hope your ladyship will so conceive of it, and will in time return from your disdain, and rue the sufferance of our friendly pain. Oh, that piece was excellent. If you could pick out more of these plain particles, and, as occasions shall salute you, embroider, or demask your discourse with them, persuade your soul, it would most judiciously commend you. Come. This was a well-discharged and suspicious spout. Prove the second. Lady, I cannot ruffle it in red and yellow. Why, if you can revel it in white, sir, it is sufficient. Say you so, sweet lady— No, in good faith, madam, whosoever told your ladyship so abused you, but I would be glad to meet your ladyship in a measure. Me, sir? Be like, measure me by yourself, then. Would I might, fair feature? And what were you the better, if you might? The better it pleased you to ask, fair lady. Why, this was ravishing and most acutely continued. Well, spend not your humor too much. You have now competently exercised your conceit. This, once or twice a day, will render you an accomplished elaborate, and well-leveled gallant. Convey in your courting stock. We will, in the heat of this, go visit the nymph's chamber.