I'll give him a second here. I'm on this hill on the fancy one. On the fancy stream thing. Sheriff, y'all give him a little second. Cover the hill to length. Shout that down, put this hill on that down. Y'all give him one second. You two, get that together. Now, remember on the Q&A to put a hashtag Q in front of your question so I can see that down. And so I can see your question. Now, let me see here and see how this hill work. Now, this should be members only. Baby daddy blocked me from everything. It does not ask about his four month baby. What should I do? You got to do you. You got to take care of your child. You got to be there for your child. You got to stop sniffing his booty. You got to worry about yourself. My college football coach used to say that's how to mop flops and how to cookie crumbles. So it ain't nothing you can really do about it. But when you treat him like you don't need him, he might hit his head one day and wake up. Do you think you'd ever consider doing marriage or coupling councils for couples considering marriage? Well, coaching is different than counseling. So I'm not a counselor, but I've done coaching and I do do it. I just rarely, I'm not doing one-on-ones and things like that right now. Just do some of my schedule and just being all over with the kids. Like it just was real hard. So that's why I haven't done it this year. But I'm hoping if I could figure out a certain time a week that I could get available, but it's like any time that I set my sons, I always have something come up that my wife need me to do. Tony, how long is too long? Year five, that'll be too long. That'll be too long for Dave. It's really three years. I used to say two years, but I changed it to three because of social media, because of podcasts, because of different little stuff going on. I changed it, but it don't take that long to know. Now make sure y'all put hashtag Q in front of your question so I could easily recognize it. How do I get my husband to stop listening to the man in the dark? That's gonna be a long shot there. That's gonna be a long shot. And it's really gonna, it's gonna take you using your woman's influence. It's gonna take you showing him that the stuff he trying to implement and the stuff he listening to, the stuff he doing is not working on you. Because if it go to working on you, he gonna keep listening.  So you know what to expect and what not to do. That's what men start to do when they realize I was giving relationship insight and that it was bringing women out of the darkness and women was being set free. God started watching to see how to counteract it. When what I'm trying to do is level the playing field so that we have healthy and happy relationships. But with the man in the dark, it's really ruining and destroying relationships. It's gonna have people same place he in. You know, the rest and the rest of the guys either never married and unhappy or multiple divorces and unhappy and being the culprit versus the one that's trying to help things out. I'm 23, he's 35 with two kids by two different women. I feel it's too much baggage or am I being judgmental? No, you ain't being judgmental. That's a lot, that's a lot he got going on. And just fortunately you not in his shoes, but a lot of times women have that going on and be feeling a type of way when a man don't wanna be with him, but everybody get their choice. So the same way a man choose, if it was the other way around, you'll have, you know, the man will say you got too much baggage. So the same thing goes. Is my ex controlling, is he doesn't want us to choose a church together? Well, for one, what the throwing me off is you asking about your ex. So I'm not understanding really why y'all ex, why are you talking about your ex? That's the first issue. And then two, I don't know why y'all choosing a church together unless you talking about for you and his child to go to. But either way, whatever it is, then yes, that would be controlling. Y'all give me one second. I forgot to invite the Lord in the room. Had to invite the Lord in the room. I literally walked in the house, I just got in the house from soccer practice.   And my oldest son still doing homework. And I literally came right to this hill. So y'all got to forgive him. I forgot to invite the Lord in the room. My husband doesn't date me and I have told him how important that this is to me. What do you think this is? Well, as long as you are gonna tolerate something, that's all you gonna get. So you have to make things at some point that it has to be an ultimatum. At some point he got to stop getting what he want. So if he don't date you, the next question is, are you sleeping with him? And if you sleeping with him, then you reinforcing him not dating you. But if you're not sleeping with him and he's like, well, what's going on? How you want me to be with you? How you want me to be faithful?  Like we need to go on a date. This ain't no well-bound thank you, ma'am. Like I need intimacy. We need quality time. And again, that just go back to the podcast that's out here today. And the state of men is really going down because of the stuff that's out there. That these men, men starting to feel like the prize and starting to treat the woman like trash. Let me see. I was talking to a guy. Now I like using this thing here now because it don't just brush all the messages for them. I could scroll down one question at a time. So I really ain't missing people. I was talking to a guy only one day and asked him, what was he looking for? He said, fun. And he didn't want to get married. I want married.  Was I wrong? Nope, you were real right. And I wish more people to start doing that. Cause a lot of times a man will tell you what he do and don't want. And people are ignore. Women are ignore, I'm thinking that he joking or thinking they can change them. And then look up two years, three years, five years down the line and like, and then asking Tony how long it's too long to be dating when the man showed you in the first three months where he was. And so that's good you did that. Early on within the first three months of dating should a lady disclose to a man that she is dating for marriage or is that something that a lady should keep to herself? To be honest with you, I don't think there's really a man in the world that think a woman is dating for anything other than marriage. So that's not really, especially if he didn't pluck you off a pole.  Even though they selling their body, they still want marriage, some of the old women still want marriage. But if a man ain't pluck you off the pole or street corner, he know that you're dating for marriage. Unless you're one of these, the other kind of women that's out here hollering about they don't want to get married. Really just cause they tired of getting their hopes up and getting their feelings hurt, but so they're just gonna give in. Bless you Tony strategist to attracting more coaching clients. Jalissa, if you have taken my life coat certification course, that pretty much gonna have everything in it that you need. You just gonna have to listen a few different times, and just hear it different ways. A lot of the time when y'all take the course, y'all rush through it, but it's really a seven figure blueprint to where you gotta go through each video and take notes on each video and make sure you take your time with it and really flesh it out just like anything we read when we read a second and a third and a fourth time, we hear something different each time. So take your time and go back through it. And when you hear something, instead of just listening through, pause and then activate that little action still. I'm constantly approached by men and don't have an issue with that, but each dude has had garbage character. I live in Atlanta. Is this protective custody by God or bad location? It definitely a bad location, could be definitely a bad location. Whether it's by God or not, that's really up to your spiritual discernment because I don't know you and I don't know how you live in it. So I can't say that God is intervening in your dating life, not knowing you personally, but that's up to your spiritual discernment. And are you leaning on God, praying to God, walking with God, something with the Lord to where he would intervene in your life to protect you in such a way? But Atlanta can be known to be trashy for dating just because it's so many women. And most men don't have the strength to look beyond the outer appearance and to not be distracted by the bodies and the shapes, the outfits.  And he just looking for a good time until he starts to get old. Do most men prefer not to date women with kids? Most men prefer not to date a woman with kids unless he have kids. Just like most women prefer to date men without kids. So it's not really a man and it's a human thing. Just like the young lady said earlier that she worried about this guy who got these two kids. So it go both ways. It's just humans don't like somebody else stuff. So a man, when he coming in, when he getting to know the woman, that woman has to be just for him.  Whereas a man may talk to a woman that might not be all the way there if she single with no kids. But when a woman have kids, it gotta be a good fit. Like he gotta feel like that's his wife. You're his wife. And then when a man don't care nothing about a woman having kids, that's honestly could be a red flag unless you know you're just that woman. If you're like that and you know you're that woman, you got that all on you, then okay, that's why he is acting like that. But if you know it ain't like that and you them been passed up on by other men because you have children, a man who's super excited and not the kids don't matter at all, that's not human nature. So you wanna look a little, you wanna pause right there and not get too excited because like that post I posted on the community page, the other day with the man who was on the day naps getting with women with single mom so he could get to their youngings. So you got to understand that too. And don't get down about it, it's just how life happens. And sometimes your children could become your protective custody that's repelling the men that's not for you. So don't look at it as a bad thing.  I worked on the three B's and I want to be married. How should I get out there to be able to date? Well, you really don't wanna force it if you find it so difficult. You don't really wanna force that. You got a 10 year old, although your 10 year old is older, that's still very needed. I got an eight year old and I know at 10 he gonna be a little more independent but 10 is still needed. And so whereas with my 14 year old who will be 15 this month, I could imagine somebody having a child at age dating could be a little easier because they're a lot more independent and old enough to be home by themselves legally at the age of 14, but at 10, if you find it difficult, don't force it. Don't force it because when it's meant to happen, it's gonna happen. Here is a question. What makes a person not spend time with their child? It could be a million things and it's just, it varies on the person. It honestly just varies on the person. I can't, well, I could fathom it but it's exactly what you think it'll be. And I know sometimes y'all ask that question just to kind of as a form of therapy because you can't really understand what to make a person turn their back on their child but that person could have had backs turned on them and just never connected with love and so people do what they know. How should I deal with a man with trust issues? He's been cheated on so many times. I have done no cheating or lies but he has ways of showing that he has work to do. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. So there has to be some trust in order for you to have a relationship. And if you don't have that trust, you really don't wanna try to force that situation cause it could end up having that man doing some things and acting in a way that you don't want that to be the case. And so, and I would, me personally would question a man who have been cheated on so many times, either one he lying because it's not like women if they gonna cheat, they often don't get caught. So a man who got multiple cases of being cheated on and this from somebody who was with over a hundred women by the age of 21, it was one woman that I caught or found out about cheating on me. And I couldn't be mad about it cause I had cheated on her with eight different women.  So I questioned a man who has been cheated on multiple times. It sound like to me, he was, he been trying to date out of his league. He been trying to buy women. See, sometimes when a man not supposed to be with a woman and he try to get her with his money but she really don't wanna be with him, she a cheat on her because he might be safe and secure cause he wanna pay bills but the woman might have a Jezebel spirit on her and he's attracted to her because she a stripper because she sell her body in another way because she lose because she promiscuous and she easy so he could hop right in the bed with her and then he get cheated on and act like he's surprised. But a man of character is gonna choose a woman of character. So I questioned a man who'd have been cheated on countless times. I questioned his discernment. I questioned his character because a man who got some character in the technical he's not gonna be just picking on any old woman. And contrary to popular belief take it from a man who had women. It's a lot of men who look like the bottom of this shoe and they look like the bottom of a shoe and they holler by, oh women so sorry and women just be cheated, women just be.   And so that kind of pushes that narrative but take it from a man who had women and unfortunately and I'm not proud of it but it just was my path in life.  But it was a many times that I approached women and they said, I got a boyfriend and keep walking. It was a many times I approached women and they didn't even acknowledge me. So that let me know that this whole narrative that every woman cheat and women cheat more than men from a man who had women, from a man who when I was in the world slept with three women in one day. And that's a part of my story. That's how I do what I do. That's how I teach the way I teach because I played the game from a man who was out there on that level, it's not true what the guys be pushing this whole thing of every woman cheat and women cheat. It ain't true.  And she just engaged up on hoping love, yeah, you gonna get cheated on because she out there, it's survival of the fittest. And she like, hey, I got to play the game or I'm gonna lose the game. And then you get one of those type of women. But when you look at their story and their background, you see how they got to that place.  No, you will see what happened to them at three years old. What happened to them at eight years old. What happened to them at 10 years old, at 15 years old. And then that'll explain to you, this why she given her body like this because she don't have a sense of self love or ownership in her life because she been violated since she could walk. And so that's the story that a lot of men won't be honest about. And it's painful for me to say, cause of course we wanna feel sorry for yourself as a human and make excuses for yourself. But when you just really honest about the data and what's really going on, you just got to be real. Hey Tony, hope all is well. I want to know some ways to build a deeper connection with the guy I'm talking to. We go on dates and met the family, but I'm tired of these surface level relationships. Well, conversation rule of nation. And so you're gonna have to go deeper by really deepening the conversation. It really ain't even about a date.  And so you need to really ask him real questions that get beneath the surface about his hopes and his dreams and the inner workings of his hopes and dreams. See the thing with a lot of women is a lot of women just wanna rang and a white picket fence in a house for Instagram and Facebook.  And you got to understand the inner working. So if a man is a truck driver, you need to know by the end of the third month you need to know how to be a truck driver. Like you should have talked to him that much that you understand the ins and outs of truck driving that if he passed away and you needed to teach somebody how to become a truck driver, you could teach them how to become a truck driver. And that's why a surface level because a lot of times with women y'all just trying to get to the goal without doing the digging. And so you got to do the work. And the reason why I say this because I didn't coach so many women and I'll say, well, what does he do? And the woman will say, I really don't know. He does something in construction but I really don't know what he does. And then I say, so now are y'all sleeping together? Well, Tony, I know what you're gonna say but yes, we are sleeping together. I say, okay, how long y'all been talking? Well, it's been about six months. Sometimes I done heard 10 months, I done heard a year and the woman literally say she really don't know what the man do. And that right there, a man could tell if you really care about him or not. So if you not gonna really try to get to know him and the inner workings of who he is, then he gonna keep it surface level so that he can hurt you without a conscience. So he could cheat on you without a conscience and that's what you got to understand. What are other ways to identify your guilt? When I ask my family members, they don't say much besides kindness, compassion. Well, if they don't know you that well and what you do, then kindness and compassion is a gift. That mean you could be in a service field. That mean you could be a life coach. That mean you can be, you can start a nonprofit organization. You can start a service-based business. And so that's gift enough in itself. But the next thing is to really ask yourself, you can ask yourself, well, what comes natural to me? So like what I'm doing right now, I'm going through questions and I'm reading the question and I'm answering the question without any prep and my mind is giving me an answer. That's a gift because I know not everybody can do it. Other people can do it, but not everybody can do it. So that's how you identify your gift. It's like, what can you do that I can't do? Or that your neighbor can't do or that your friend can't do? That's one of your gifts. And so that's how you do that, yeah. Good evening, Tony. Do you think it's becoming normal for women to start getting comfortable with singleness and wanting to remain that way thoughts? I don't think it's becoming normal. I think it's the lie is becoming normal. And don't nobody really wanna be alone. It's just when we have not obtained something, we tell ourselves that we are okay with what we have.  Everybody won't love and everybody wanna be loved. The people who say they don't want love and they wanna be single, it's really coming from a place of fear or a place of hurt or a place of frustration or a place of being tired. And so you get to a place to where you enjoy your peace because of the pain that you have experienced. But given a choice, we wanna have a companion and somebody to love. And so I had a quote a long time ago that says, don't convince yourself that you don't want something just because you can't obtain it right now.  So it's okay to be content, but still be ready for more. Like it's okay to say I'm happy being single and I love being single and still be open to love versus just shutting it all the way down. Thank you, Del Cher, for the courses done on Tony Gaston's Academy.  He met the female version of himself. Is this good or bad or is he just running game? In a relationship, it's a bad thing because our strength is in our differences, not our similarities. If you're the same, you're not really gonna get along because you just, you're stacking on top of yourself. Relationship is like a puzzle. So if y'all got the same exact shape, then you can't complete the puzzle.  So the ideal situation is somebody's strengths are your weaknesses and your weaknesses are their strengths so that you can compliment each other. So if that's true, it's not necessarily a good thing. And if it's not true, then of course it's just game. But now I share one of the moderators in here, she in here announcing he here places you need to go. God bless you. Now let me see, hung out with a man at my church a few times, nothing happened. Saw that he would stop talking to him. Now he's smearing me at church. What should I do? Y'all got to be giving, I ain't laughing. Sometime when y'all be telling me about these petty men, just as a wrong musky man myself, it just make me chuckle sometime when I think about what wrong musky men be doing.  Listen, God forgive me, but I have to be telling my story. I have to be telling my version of the story at the church house. I have to be, yeah, I was dating, but he was verbally abused, so I had to let him go. I have everybody who I find out he was smeared to I got to tell my side of the story. Now that might put you in sin and it's sad that, you know, you may have to leave your own church over this, but that's a lesson right there. Well, being careful about dating somebody that go see that's at your church now. That's a lesson about that now. We wanna meet somebody at the church house, but it's just sometimes it don't work out. Now y'all make sure y'all put hashtag Q in front of your question. Just started dating in 2019 at 25. I found that I am learning lessons that most girls learned early. People ridicule me for not knowing game, feel stupid, but also give grace for lack of experience. Wrong. No, you're not wrong. And it's better to learn late than early because see when you learn too early, it can mess you up because you could become jaded.  See at 25, now you're 28 or 27, not you can, you know to be here and getting this hill knowledge where somebody who 15, they don't know to be here and how to process this. So you're in a better position to process.  God bless you. I don't talk too much about blessings. People say, hey, people been saying, talk about, don't don't need no blessing cause he always bragging about what God doing in his life. So I'm gonna keep my little blessing. Thank you, Lima world, send him that blessing. I still appreciate it now.  Now says we'll work on it. Says I'm too hard on him to give time for things to change. Standards too high. No, no, no, no, yeah. He is a grown musky man. And one thing about a grown man, we could teach a dog. We teach our dog how to behave. Our whole human being who's sending rockets to the moon can't learn how to treat another human being. That's really common sense and we really shouldn't have to be taught that by nobody because we know how we wanna be treated.    But when you done had to tell an adult, when you done had to tell a adult more than one time about the same thing, no, I got to go. I got to go and you got time to be dealing with your musky behind. I got to go too wrong. You're too old, old is my thuselah and want all of this and want all this time. No, get your act together. I got time for this. Like too short to be wasting it. My husband and I have been having issues. When I bring up any issue, he rants and screams and yells and points out my everyday habits like prayer and working out, then acts like nothing happened.  Because sometimes those of us who played football and had concussions, we could be like that. We could hike up sometimes. And so you need to look into your husband trauma and to his experiences and to what he got going on. And you need to be able to check him directly and let him know like we had a breaking point. Playboy, if you can't get this together or you need to go ahead and implement therapy, get into therapy and counseling, look like share are only moderated tonight. God bless y'all, y'all get share a round of applause. Tony, how can I get balance between being my usual friendly and loving self? And on the other hand, be able to switch and be tough. When trying to be cool when my ex next door says hi, without feeling bad. Now, you don't have to be tough because friendly and loving self is tough. So you have to understand with confidence you could be nice and you can also be direct and strong and self loving, self protecting without having to be mean and rude. And that's your ex next door. So when he say hi, just say hi.  But when you can say, hey, how you doing? And just keep on going. He like, whoa, she didn't heal. All right, good, he healed already. It'll confuse him. And that's what a lot of people don't realize.  It's that smile. That's why they say killing with kindness. It's that smile that's gonna confuse them. That's why the song say praise, confuse the adversary. What are your thoughts on a man saying, I must be able, I must be able to use her social networks and her talents must be at my disposal in the furtherance of my ambitions, which are considerable. That's what wrong with these men today. These boys, so listen here.  Listen here, my wife did call me while I'm sitting at practice and say, hey, we need $5,500 to book these flights to Boston to go to MIT for your son technology. Did you think I, hey, well I need to be able to expose your talents, to book these flights. No, as a man, I had to make it happen. Had to make it happen.  And I do what I do as a husband and a father. So these boys here today, it just so, I've seen a post that say a lot of men today wanna be treated like a nice young lady. And that's how these men is today. It's like as a man, we got to be able to pick up slack. We got to be able to put the team on our back and we got to go to God for rest.  But when a man go to holler and stuff like this right here you know he has been listening to a podcast of somebody sitting in the dark with stuff spinning on their desk, spewing all of this from their failed marriages. That's what that is a sign of. And when I tell you, you got to put your trike shoes on so fast and it get in the blocks. The man gonna be talking about you on this comedy show talk about man, this one was crazy. I miss running said this to her. She bent down like she was doing a hundred meter dash and she just took off. That's what I'll start doing. That's what I'll start doing when a man go to doing all that. It's like, bro, it's like for one I understand this right here. Duh, a woman finna come and bring her best to the table and she won't her household to be healthy and strong and she not gonna have all these connections and just sitting on them and watching the family struggle. Like some stuff ain't even got to be said that the men saying today. And they just saying it just to have a peeing contest and it's weakness. It's weakness of men today to be coming with this laundry list of stuff they need from a woman instead of just watching how a woman move, watching how a woman act and talking to the woman and seeing who she is but coming with this whole laundry list and all of that right there. It's just, it's weakness because it's like social networks and all of that and talents at his disposal.   And that just, it's just a lot of weakness today. And that's why our relationships is in what they are. Hot on, I've been in a talk show relationship for three years going on forward. We recently bought a condo together but the other day things got physical. I know I need to leave but it's so hard. What can I do? Well, see for one says, you know, you can't really, I can't really advise on that because you know what you need to do but you don't wanna do what you need to do. So you asking me about it is just wasting my time and wasting your time because you know what you wanna do and you know what you need to do. But see the thing, what we do as humans is, we ask somebody and then we make ourselves feel like we have done some work and when in reality, we've done nothing. And so your keyword is, hi, Tony, I have been in a toxic relationship for three years going on forward. That's your keywords. And so you gotta read that over and over and over and you gotta remind yourself that I have been in. Not I have been held hostage in, not I have been forced to be in, but I have been in. So when you accept personal responsibility for your choices, that's what's gonna set you free.  I heard a good empowering word and you're gonna stay in that situation. And what you have to remember is anything worth doing is hard to do. Anything that we need to do is hard to do. I need to work out today. I ain't did it yet, but I ate some chick filet. I had a shrimp pasta for lunch and had a chick filet sandwich for dinner, but did not work out. You see what I'm saying? It's easy to do what's wrong and hard to do what's right. And we are afraid to admit that as humans. But when you can admit that as a human, that's what's gonna set you free. So again, the key word, Tony, I have been in, not I have been held in. I have been forced in. And listen, the thing about it is we in this society, we in this society of pacifying to where there's so many memes saying, oh, don't tell people just leave. Oh, and it's hard for people to leave. And oh, the seven stages of grief. And oh, the seven stages of getting out of such a, such type of relationship. And listen, we have to stop making excuses for ourselves. And we got to do what we got to do. It's gonna be hard.  And that's what we got to get to, to where if you stay, you gonna meet an untimely demise. And if you leave, you risk meeting an untimely demise, but at least you go out with your dignity. And that's how I look at life. And this could be applied to a job, to a friendship, to a relationship.  You got to get on up. You got to get on up and you got to be able to make a move, come up with an exit strategy. And you got to make a move in a time of peace. You prepare for war and then boom, boom, you out of there. You don't want to wait till everything blow out, blow up and it's heated and it's all this right there. And when it get physical like that right now. Y'all ain't got no real love and you didn't warrant that or nothing, meaning nothing should warrant it. But in human nature, if you walk in and a man sleeping with another one, and you might get physical and vice versa. But if this just went there and it wasn't provocation, even though even being provoked, it still would be wrong, but it wasn't provocation. And it went there and you got to go on about your business.  We knew each other since high school. Later find out he is engaged. Does it mean he got away with it? I don't know what you mean by got away with it cause he ain't do nothing wrong. Leaving you wasn't wrong. So you can't assume that because he didn't got engaged that God rewarding him for being wrong because he actually was right for leaving you. Like he actually did the noble thing because would you rather a man tell you you're not the one and move on or drag you alone and get married to you and cheat on you and then y'all got to go through a divorce. So he actually did the noble thing as a real man should and say, hey, you're not the one and let you as a grown woman find out how you're going to deal with that and handle that raw truth then to lie to you and string you alone. So he ain't do nothing wrong. So he he ain't get away with anything because he did the right thing. And we got to be okay with that. You got to be okay to understand that people got a choice in their life that they can make.  And when somebody don't choose you you got to choose you and move on with your life. We're having an ex take care, we're having an ex take care of a non-biological child into fear with the next guy taking a lady serious.  And what you have to realize is you got to move on with your life because you holding on to something that ain't got to be held on to. And the thing about it is, yeah, a man love could love your child, but men break up with their own kids. So a man capable of breaking up with a child that ain't his. And yes, he could love the child and all of that. But at the same time, if y'all not gonna be together you got to let him know what my child don't need your love because I'm gonna love my own child and my child will be loved by who I end up being with. And as bad as that hurt, that's a part of life. But if you can't drive looking in the rear view mirror and that's what you will be doing in a case like that. And it'll be unfair to the man that come in your life for you to want a man to be okay with another man having strings attached to you when your child is not that man child.  But then now your child got two stepdaddies. You asking too much of a human being. And if the table would turn you wouldn't be okay with that as a woman. Cause y'all a lot of women be ready for the man to cut off his child actual baby mama. The mama of the child. A lot of women be that territorial now. So you can't ask a man to do something you wouldn't do. So you got to, you know, we and this was the one thing I tried to tell y'all I call this great down the middle. I call this great down the middle. I'm not on the man side. I'm not on the woman side. I'm on the side of what's right. And we got to be okay with that. And I think a lot of times on these platforms it's a person that's one side or the other and build this discordal hate for audience who hate the other side. That ain't what this by. I'm trying to tie the red and the blue flag together. The red and blue rags together. I'm trying to time together. And let's build some unison and let's heal our land instead of being divided. Men versus women, women versus men. And instead of us just seeing right from wrong. And that's what we got to get to. KVA, my God bless you now. God bless you now. Canada, 1399, God bless you now. Dating for three months. Let me see how I could do that. Let me put that one on the screen. Oh, it won't let me put that on the screen from up top. Let me answer this. Y'all might could see it. Dating for three months. Talk every day going on dates twice a week. Now complaining because he's the one always reaching out planning and paying for dates. Should I do more in courtship? I have my own money. I mean, you should reach out to them. Like, hey, how are you? But it's a man job to court. It's a man job to court. Like we, especially y'all in Canada, but y'all ain't in Africa. Like in Africa, a man got to pay dowry in certain parts of Africa. Even today, a man got to go over there and say, hey, I'm gonna get y'all $100,000. You know, for y'all to be with y'all daughter. It's like over here. It's like, at least we ain't got to pay no dowry. And so it's like the least we could do as men is be okay paying for dates and setting and reaching out to the woman and courting the woman. It's just these new age men, man. I'm telling you, it just, it's happening because of the broke, busted and disgusted men on the podcast. And they built them weak men because they weak men. I could look at these guys with these podcasts and tell they saw the cotton candy and hot sun and tell that they were bullied growing up by men and women. And they didn't go to therapy and heal.  Knowing that in marriage, you're gonna be flipping and tossing this woman. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Everything going down in marriage. And it's like, they're putting a little bit of work and he three months in complaining. What are you gonna be doing a year in? You just, you just, you reach out to me. And he's like, my daddy reached out to me. I get it, reach out to me. I get it, reach it out. And he's like, come on now, bro. Like, you got to go to therapy. You got to go to therapy. And it's like, that's a part of being a man is working for the heart of a woman.   Might got to get a little stitches, might have to get cut across her stomach. Ain't gonna be able to sleep. Got to give birth to the baby. Then got to go through postpartum. It got to be waking up every two hours because you got a job and you talking about you need your sleep. So she waking up every two hours with postpartum depression to feed the baby. Then she breastfeeding the baby because she trying to get a natural God milk instead of a formula. And then now D. Hill touching her kneecaps from all that breastfeeding or pumping if she got the pump and here we is as men complaining about initiating the phone calls and initiating the date. It's like, man, y'all boy got the man up. That's manhood, that part of being a man. My goodness, it's like, and this is what men fail to do. Men fail to think about if you got a daughter.  I just want to reach out to you and ask you will you be open for a date this week? And it's on me. As a man, imagine you heard your daughter saying that you finna kick down the door. What the rural girl, what you is doing? That man supposed to be dating you and men forget about that. And we can't forget that. You got to understand like that part of manhood like part of manhood is you going that extra mile. We got to do better. High Tony, what's the cut off for dating multiple people when I want to get serious with one? When you want to get serious with one, that's the cut off. That's the cut off. So it's like this right here.  Based on them conversation, if one of them listened to the man in the dark, you know he got to get cut off immediately. Then the next two you dating them and dating is just going on dates. Y'all just talking, y'all getting to know each other. You're not sleeping with them. You ain't making no promises.  We going on dates. We ain't talking yet. And men don't like that. But as men, we do the same thing. You rarely gonna meet a man that's only talking to one woman at a time until he choose the one. And a lot of men never choose the one. They keep multiple.  So when we find out a woman getting multiple dates, we'd be ready to flip a wig, blow a gasket. And so you have to understand, you don't kiss and tell. You don't tell people what you're doing with your life, but you analyze it and you make a decision. So when you see this man over here got the most character, the most integrity, then you go ahead and let the other men know. You let the other man, hey, this is not gonna work. You don't keep juggling them and playing them and telling this man, y'all are exclusive but then talking to other men. That's how you play yourself. You go ahead and bow out gracefully when you see that one of the guys you don't went on a date with is likely to be the one. A woman busy being blessed. A woman got my number from my man's phone and called me to say she's in a relationship with him. He said she was lying. I later caught him at her house. I kicked him out and he moved in with her. Well, ain't that a doozy, you might get now. Now, you ain't have no question. I guess you wanna tell your testimony, but ain't that a doozy? See, if that's a tough one, but hey, you got to have a mentality of good riddance. You got to have a mentality of good riddance.  You gain your peace and your clarity. What does a man feel about an unwed mother of three who is open to dating? Well, it depends on the man. Now, see, listen, this is the thing. When it come down to a man with a woman with kids, that man got to feel like he would drink your dirty bath water. If the man don't feel like he would drink your dirty bath water out of a straw with a hole in it, with a slit inside of it, it likely ain't gonna work because this is the thing, what you have to remember. Men, as men, we struggle to love our own kids. As men, the way our heart is built by society, as men, we'll kick our own kids out the house. So how do you think a man feel about another man's kids? So y'all have to be real about that. That's real. When these guys in the dark tell y'all that a lot of men, that's the truth.  You got to protect your children. You got to read this man energy. And if he act like your children, it's any problem whatsoever. Keep it moving because you do not want to force your children onto a man. That's the worst thing you could do to try to coerce a man or trick a man or force a man or beg a man to love your kid. That's the worst thing you could do. You want a man who is so into you that your children are not seen as baggage. They seen as a bonus. They seen as a blessing because he get to know them and be there for them so that he could be there for you. That's the energy you want to feel from this man. You don't want to feel nothing less. Nothing less. Recently been thinking about ex a lot. Hey y'all, we got 29 more minutes. I got to go. I told my wife I'd be over here at 10 o'clock. She'd be doing her little work. If my son's still up doing homework, I might be able to step a little later. Recently been thinking about ex a lot after three months break up and it puts me in a sad art play. Staying busy between work and school. Feel like I can't stay busy enough. Any tips to forget about him completely? Well, the thing about it is, is you running from it. When you can't get over it and you can't get under it and you can't get around it, you've got to go through it. And so to go through it, you need to spend a whole day just thinking about it and just feeling and just remembering why you left her and write down the things he did and the things he said and read them to yourself and remind yourself of the pain and remind yourself of why you left. Because see, the way the mind is created, the mind is created to self-soothe. The mind is created to heal. So after some time, we forget the sting of the pain. We remember what happened, but we forget what it felt like. And so your mind is healing and it's you self-soothing. And so now you're willing to go back and get another tattoo. See, when you get in that tattoo, you like never again. What in the world was I thinking?  The butterfly with one wing, like a Maya Angelou poem. So I got to sit here and finish getting this whole butterfly put on me, but never again. But after a month passed and that thing that healed up and got its color, now you're like, you remember that you told yourself, this hurt and I'll never do it again, but you can't remember what it felt like. And so you go back to get tattoo number two. And then number three and number four and number five until you grow up, then you start getting tattooed. That's the same thing with relationships. Until we grow up, we keep running back to the pain. And so you got to understand that. Why would a man converse with a woman he's been caught cheating with? Claims she came up to him, but we were supposed to be working on our relationship. She could have came up to him. And it just, most people is not confrontational. So if he just was like, hey, how are you doing? Yeah, all right, everything. You know, that could have just been what it was. And so you got to ask yourself if you okay with that. Or if you just wanted him to put his head down and just walk real fast and treat him like the plague, which is what he should have did, but just some people not like that. Some people not confrontational like that. Now, if you know he got that kind of energy to put his head down and treat somebody like the plague, then he ain't got no excuse for talking to him.  Met a music producer, single dad, was touchy feely, put boundaries, that he respected and checked him. He still brought up wanting, he didn't ask questions about me. Was I wrong to leave him? No, you weren't wrong to leave him. You ain't never wrong to leave, nah. Sometimes it is, but that's your standard, that's your standards. You got to stand on your standards. And you don't ask nobody for permission about your standards, you know, stand on your standards. Our company is not doing so well, but I want to stay and wait for the breakthrough. But how could I know when this battle isn't worth to fight? Thank you so much, sir. I got a quote that went viral that say, if you don't build your dream, someone will hire you to help them build theirs. So your responsibility ain't nobody, somebody else company ain't your responsibility. If that ain't your purpose and you're calling, then you fighting the wrong battle. Now, if it's your purpose and you're calling, that could be a little different. Alex said, oh God bless you, does number of kids matter? And I have one son who is under five. I see some of y'all new here. Y'all ain't watched my videos. Yes, it matters. Anything got to do with kids matter. Kids matter. That's a whole human being. Kids matter. They're always gonna matter. So the number of them matter. And they gender, that matters as well. Because it depends on who you dealing with. And then under five, that matters as well. Because you don't know who you with. So it could be a man who, I always say you shouldn't be dating if your child under five. Not dating. Like you could date, but you shouldn't have people around your child who is under five. Because they need to be, and even when they older, even when they 10, 11, sometimes 15, they still don't speak up if the person you dating do something inappropriate. So you got to really make sure you know what you're doing. Let me see how to find my purpose. I love people. I would love to open a nonprofit for women, but I'm still healing. Should I wait on God timing or focus on my healing first?  It ain't really a such thing as being a hundred percent.   So you always gonna feel the sting.  Even though the cut and healed and then the form of new skin, you rub that scar long enough, you're gonna start to feel some pain. And so that's what you got to understand. A part of your healing is helping other people heal. So you never wanna wait till you perfect.  But I got a course called entrepreneurship with purpose. And make sure you get that on tonigastleacademy.com. That'll help you a lot. Do the homework with it and take your time with it and all of that. We got about 22, 26, no, 22 minutes. How do men really feel about a woman's hygiene? I have a very handsome son in his late 20s and so many of his friends are smelly and unkept, but beautiful and fashionable. It's funky the new fly. I haven't really heard about these night women. So your son, so the latest, sister, you might be smelling these women after your son and got done power driving them.  They might have been scraping that wig up or scraping that weave up, but your son probably done got done putting that lumber on her and that's what you smelling. Cause they just ain't walking around stank. That ain't that. But I see a lot of times mommas be too blind to see that.  And at 17, I probably had to slept with about 20 girls already and I heard my momma tell her friends that I said, Lord, I said, Lord, forgive me. My momma in the lofts, I'm in her wedding. I was all on the floor with these women. I'm in the bike seat. I'm in the baseball dugout after school. My momma talking about them too shy. I was very shy and quiet, but that one thing I wasn't shy about is going after no woman. And that's one thing most men ain't shy about. And especially if they got any kind of extrovertism, meaning I was an athlete, I was shy and quiet, but I was a star athlete. Number one, Russian in the county and football. Number five, scoring basketball.  But the Mia sound like you might be smelling the love that our little son on the women. So yeah, that ain't, but that ain't a new fly though. So definitely ain't a new fly. I'm focusing on my career and my business. Men often approach me, however, after a few days and no, they say you have a lot going on. What does that mean? It means you got a lot going on. Cause you just say you focus on your career and your business. So he just acknowledging that he could tell your focus is on your career and your business. And he wondering why you dating. And it really ain't about the not sleeping with you because deep down that's what a man want. He want a woman that respect her body and won't just give her body away because a man who want a woman want a prize. He don't want no woman that don't respect her body or understand her worth. So, you know, you've got to realize that.  Let's see. I have yet to meet a man that puts in effort. Could it just be the state of man today or I'm just running into men that isn't interested. They also be very inconsistent and I block them. It could be a little bit of everything but the state of man today is not the greatest because of the podcast that's out here. And I'm gonna tell you, it affects me. It like the podcast, I only get to see clips cause I don't watch the whole thing cause I'm mindful of what I put in my mind but just the clips y'all send me mess my marriage up. Had me around here wondering, man, I'm deserve more. Man, I supposed to be getting treated like this. Man, what's going on? Man, I was almost sent. I went to questioning myself.  Look at what God and did in your life and look at the man who's saying this. Broke, busted and disgusted. Or getting rich off of selling hate, selling confusion and chaos. And really ask yourself, is this the kind of man or man that you will look up to? Really look at this man and you could tell this man was overlooked by women his whole life. Really look at this man and you could tell this man was thumped in the back of the head by the football players when walking down the hallway. Really look at this man and you could tell this man was thumped on growing up and he did not go to therapy. He did not go to Jesus. He did not open a Bible. He did not heal. And now he trying to convince sorry men that day the prize is the revenge of the lambs. And I had to wake up and I know better. So a man who's not reminding himself every day of his kingsmanship, his priesthood, his royalty of the sacrifice and consecration that it takes to be a warrior. A man who's not reminding himself of what it takes to be a man will fall into the trap of wanting to be catered to and wanting to be praised and wanting to be pedestalized. And that's what's breaking down society in these relationships. Caprice, God bless you now. Restoration, God bless you. How should women dodge the question early on in the dating phase? Men always seem to slip the topic into the conversation somehow. That's just men. That's just men. It's gonna happen. I'm married and still be slipping and in conversations with my wife every day. And that's my wife. So it's like, I shouldn't even have to be asking or talking about it, but I'm still gonna do it. That's just men. So you just ignore, redirect. So how about the cowboys redirect? Then when you pick up on the conversation about the cowboys and Jerry Jones, then you reinforce. Meaning you continue to talk about it, but don't let it perturb you. Don't let it stress you. Don't let it frustrate you. It's really just a man bumping his gums. Would a man be more willing to date if son lives with father? Yes, he would be. But that's really not a question that you should be asking or a question that you should be considering. Cause for you to ask that sound like you think about sending your son to live with his daddy so that you could get a man. Like that's the man problem.  So you got to be careful with the stuff you entertaining, the thoughts you entertaining. You don't want nobody that don't want you and yours. So don't even entertain stuff like that. You're going down a rabbit hole. Should you change your religion to your boyfriend's religion when you dating? No, you should not. No, you should not. You should not. Now y'all really be, God bless y'all, God bless y'all. Oh my goodness. This is why I do the work that I do. And I'm gonna be honest with you. When I started doing this work at 22 years old, this is why I did it. Because I looked and I saw that women was willing to do anything for a man. And me as a man knew that us as men were not deserving of what women were willing to give up just to have a man. Just to be able to say, I got a husband. Y'all got a husband and y'all got a baby daddy. Y'all got a house with a fence and y'all kids in private school. What y'all willing to give up is mind-boggling to me. And there has to be some type of movement that empowers women to know that you're more than just a wife. You're more than just a depository for a man. That you're a whole human being. You can compromise your self-worth and your self-respect and your standards for no man. The God you serve got to be bigger than the man that you with. Got to, because that's your foundation. That's what you're building on.  That's what that's gonna be, your rock. So you can't give up your rock for a rock. You can't do that because you can't count on humans. You can't put all everything into a human. You need to have faith. You got to have your faith. Y'all be willing to give up too much now. My finance and I are together. Okay, y'all see you met fiance. My fiance and I are together nine years and plant. Don't read it again. My fiance and I are together nine years and planning a wedding.  Also him and I care not going to get along even after marriage. Should I cancel it? Yeah, you need to cancel that. I hate to say it. I hate to be the barrel bad news, just you need to cancel that. You need to cancel that. That's not your husband. Unfortunately, it's been nine long years and I know you didn't gave up a lot of your life since that's not your husband. That's not what the Lord got for you. Because as a man, when we into a woman, we without one, we not even gonna be talking to no ex. And we're not gonna be inviting no ex to no wedding.  And his ex might still be looking at him as like the one who got away. And he making like he God's gift to you, but you the devil gift to him. So he ponding you, so he could checkmate with her.  I know that's easier said than done, but y'all hear everything under the sun and still be staying. How to react about a man wanting a business before marriage. I cut the guy off because it's been five years. Well, you know, I'll be honest with you. I used to always say that was an excuse, but being a provider and paying the bills, I understand what men be getting at. And I just never saw it like that cause I got married at 23. And I wasn't really a man that thought I was gonna be a provider.  So it's like I get it and I don't get it. Now, so less, more so it's the five years part than it is him wanting a business. And I really, it's easy to get a business though. You start a LLC and be selling t-shirts to have a business like a business ain't that hard to start. So it take him five years to start a $125 LLC. That's a little more alarming. And so that's what make it sound like an excuse.  How the thing went up? Oh, you're some of y'all posted your question multiple times. Hey, Tony, I have an associate home girl that had with the guy she just met. We all hung out recently. I just met him. He wants something serious with me. What are your thoughts? Would he see me as wrong?  If he'd not already slept with your home girl. And that's just awkward. That's just awkward. And it, to be honest with you, it just, it ain't a whole lot of men, but it's more than that for you to be with a man who doesn't slept with your home girl. And you really got to, like Stephen R. Covey say, begin with the end in mind. So just, it's like, is you gonna cut your home girl off? Now it's an associate home girl. So you could cut off, but you just, it's different when you know the person, somebody, the person to slept with. It's one thing to understand that a person ain't no virgin. It's another thing to know somebody, the person to slept with. That's gonna hit different. And that may bother you. It would bother me as a man and it will bother men, but that might be the difference with some women.  I sleep with them tomorrow night. I can't wrap my head around that. That wouldn't even be a question. If I met a woman and she didn't slept with my home boy, I'm not going to touch her in a serious way with a 10 foot pole. I don't want no parts of that. Cause just cause how the mind work, I'd be laying down trying to get some sleep. And I just see him in my head power driving on and just, oh my God. I wouldn't even be able to function. But maybe I'm mentally weak, but I just, I wouldn't be able to be with somebody who slept with somebody that I know. It's just too many people in the world for that for me. I go to another country and find somebody and get them a green card before I do that. No sister, no sister. All right, we coming on to an end cause I'm starting to see a lot of the same questions over that y'all done posted. So I might have answered quite a few of these. We got about five minutes left. I've been doing, I don't know, I started a little late. I've been doing my best to keep boundaries with my coaching clients. Question, some want to become friends. Is it best to keep clear with coaching clients not to become more than clients thoughts tone? If it's a man for sure, if it's a man for sure, if it's a man who like women for sure, if it's a woman who like women for sure, you need to keep boundaries. Now, if it's a woman who like men and you could use a friend, some clients will become more than clients. Some clients will become friends. And sometimes coaching could be, could have divine intersections in it. So like my current assistant is a young lady who lived on the other side of the country who hired me for coaching. And I had been praying for an assistant but there was a certain type of assistant I was looking for. Somebody that I felt they spirit and that they didn't have a Jezebel spirit. And somebody that I felt a pureness about that I know my heart would be in the right place and they heart would be in the right place. And I had been praying for that. And then this young lady hired me for coaching and she happened to be an office assistant for her ex-boyfriend's mom. And so she needed a change of scenery. So I asked her what she being paid and then I gave her a raise and paid her more than that. And two weeks later, she became my assistant. So sometimes that could happen in coaching.  But sometimes that could happen. ZZ God bless you now. Pretty Tars. Welcome to the new members. Yeah, I think I answered a lot of questions now. Ex ranting about me on social media after break up. It's been two weeks. Why is he behaving this way? He heard. He heard.  He heard. My boyfriend said I was nagging about him checking, not checking in sometimes or answering phone. I told him to leave. He said, that's not the always their answer. Now I haven't heard from him two days. I'm sad.  So you can't be too sad. Naisha God bless you now. Hey, so it looked like I got all these hill questions. Now listen to me. Y'all listening, you really got to get this and you got to remember. We're closing up. You got to remember your standards. For one, to remember your standards, you got to set standards. You got to set standards. And you got to know what you worth.   And so you have to understand that what the overall theme I seen tonight is just, it's so many women that's settling and that's just putting up with nonsense. And so you missing out on your blessing because you just wanna settle with the first thing come along and you tell yourself, oh, it ain't gonna get no better but that's not true. That's not the case.     And so when you are becoming, then you can't be with somebody that's not becoming. So you have to remember that and understand that it's never too late to leave. Don't, cause, cause life is only but so long. Alpha Joe God bless you. So you got to be willing to walk away because 10 years could feel like a lifetime. So if you say, well, I only got 10 years left to live that's a lifetime with the right person and that's a lifetime with the wrong person. So don't say, oh, because I've been with this person nine years, I got to stay. No, you got a whole life ahead of you. You got so much more, much more living to do. You got to let that go and you got to love yourself.  Now, if you missed anything, then you get on over to TonyGastonacademy.com and grab what you need. I got played a couple of months ago and now I feel jealous of people getting engaged and having kids, how do I stop that?   So now you got to say, you know what, now I'm in a position to get what they get.  You don't know what they got. If you don't live with them, you ain't behind closed door, they could have nails under their pillow. You don't know what they got. Don't ever be jealous of somebody else that you don't live with, that you not with and around cause you can't never tell, can't never tell. Ain't no relationship without blemish. Everybody going through something, everybody struggling, everybody building something, everybody trying to get something right. So it ain't nothing to be jealous of. No relationship is worth being jealous of because I heard Ashton Kutcher say one time of all the people in the world, he sent a tweet, he said, if we all put our problems down in a pile, everybody go pick up their own problems cause we built a deal with what we got to go through. But you can't deal with what I got to go through and I can't deal with what you got to go through. And that's what we got to understand. So, hey, God bless y'all to the bless tribe and the bless business tribe. I really appreciate you.  That Patreon support put me in a position of where I'd be producing some extracurricular type programs for you too, thanks to the Patreon supporters cause it's these different levels on there all the way up to 50 dollars. And there's some people at that 50 dollars. So that's really moving the needle. And so we got the first, the next production, we already did titles. If you missed titles, go to the playlist and you'll see titles. But the next one will be a little different, but that's coming up next month. So I'm casting some people from the Patreon to be a part of that and we'll keep going.  Hey, God bless y'all and we'll talk soon. Can't promise when, but Lord willing it'll be soon.


Found this a while ago, and it's just been hanging around And the divots should be fine The rest of that went through pretty easy


Hi everybody. Happy Sunday. I'm Joe for jaspyscasebreaks.com coming at you with jaspys hit hit hit Parade football mixer a random division break number three. You can tell that the next one is already loaded up. So We got a hip rate case hits football hip rate platinum hip rate emerald and hip rate limited as well So really nice stuff there big thing to this group for making it happen, and there are your divisions. Let's go Let's roll it randomize both lists snake eyes two times really easy one and two Nice we got Michael down to Jonathan two times for the divisions one and two AFC East down to the NFC North All right, there's snake eyes. There's two. There's two to the hard way To the only way All right, so Michael with the AFC East John with the NFC South Zachary with the AFC West Jonathan with the NFC East Bob with the AFC South Jimmy with the NFC West Ethan with the AFC North and Jonathan with the NFC North with that last bot mojo star next to your name Let's alphabetize by division I'll make this a little bit bigger too right there you go and we're gonna pause the video when we come back We're gonna see if there's any trades and then we'll have the break stick around. I'll see you on the other side Hi, welcome back. No deals were done. So the list you see here remains the same In our hit hit hit parade football mixer random division number three another one is in the store I think we can run it back a couple more times So thanks everybody for for making this happen. I appreciate it. All right, let's start with So we got one two three four five six seven right so start with the limited dish I think the limited is like their base version Right, and I think this platinum the silver boxes are the middle tier And sapphire is a tier and then they have different specialty tiers But I think emerald falls somewhere in between platinum and sapphire. I think or is it between this and platinum? They pray guys told me I forgot if they're listening. Let me know something like that. It's good stuff More in the store jaskiescasegrates.com. So first one out of the gate is Sam Darnell 25 out of 35 Two-color patch and auto that's for the Jets AFC East Michael P next up is T Higgins nice 160 out of 175 Two-color patch an on-card autograph from limited football AFC North Ethan The Bengals I think the Bengals can do it again. They really did improve their they knew what they needed to fix I Think they by all accounts They have addressed those offensive line issues. So that could that's gonna that might help everybody All right, hip-rate football platinum edition and out of here is Najee Harris rookie landscape 35 out of 99 AFC North Ethan impeccable football really sharp Got impeccable basketball in the sore ladies and gentlemen if you want to get it on it Jaskies case rakes.com Rex what's going on weekend was great Saw top gun grilled some burgers and ate them Watch watch Obi-Wan Kenobi Watch watch good fellas Enjoyed some adult beverages with some friends. So it's pretty great Michael Pippin jr. Rookie to get autographed nice see how Matt Ryan Indianapolis gonna be interesting that would that is a that's AFC South Bob With the Colts and Michael Pippin jr. All right. See what's in this emerald edition and then that's a special one here Hip-rate football all case hits All cases this one could be anything and we have Brett farve four out of 25 on that Brett farve anti-collegiate football From 2016 we actually have some anti-collegiate football on the website right now now This checklist there should be a checklist for this My assumption is it'll be the Packers, but we'll check the checklist first if there is no checklist We'll go by our no checklist or collegiate rules and The and those rules which are in the frequently asked questions area, which I'm sure everyone has read States that it'll go to the team he played for the longest if they're retired and the team they played for The team they're currently on if they're active actually there's there's no checklist for this old 2016 set It probably would have been Packers anyway Just wanted to make sure sometimes they get a little goofy with it, but there you go. Obviously spent 16 seasons with rebate Packers So that'll be the NFC North and that'll be for Jonathan. There you go, Jonathan on the board Yeah, and Jersey number number four Nice and on card a lot of times you don't get the on card from From the retired players. All right. Nice This is fun All case hits. It's a good idea Really good idea. I think I spotted a downtown part. I don't know who it is, but We're gonna travel to downtown Downtown Kansas City, that's what it looks like Some got some fountains In downtown Kansas City. I gigantic Mahomes running around those fountains Almost prancing if you will. This is awesome. It's known as a city of fountains I had no idea. Yeah move over barbecue. It's a city of fountains So that is the AFC West Chiefs Zachary. There you go, Zach nice downtown Mahomes and The seventh and final box Good luck everybody our first break of the day. Nothing else sold out after this We can run back another one of these jasky's case breaks calm another downtown card Now, where are we going now? We're going to downtown We're going to downtown Denver That's what downtown Denver looks like We've got it. It's got a union station here Waterfalls and rivers it's John Alway Broncos It's another one for Zachary and the AFC West and there you go ladies and gentlemen Fun little hit parade mixer in the books more in the store jasky's case breaks calm. I'm Joe I'll see you next time for the next break. Bye. Bye


All right. Here we go. My name is Alexandra Yates. I work for the open source technology center at Intel Corporation. I've been with Intel for about six years. And in my time off I do triathlons. And for work I do power management on the Linux kernel. Oh, and I forgot to introduce my talk. So we're going to talk about cases study and basically the way that this came about is I thought, well, how is the Linux kernel doing in terms of power management? And in relationship of the different distributions that are out there. So I took first Ubuntu. They are working with Debian. And the idea is that I go from distribution to distribution doing a similar thing that you're going to see today. So before we begin, I would like to see how many people here use any sort of power management tool to tune your computer. Very good. Very nice. How many of you use power top? Great. Awesome. Good. I went to a talk the other day and there were like three people. So this is good. Right. So the experiment. Of course I use Debian 314. Debian has its own kernel. So in this case I use 314.13.2, which it came with the distribution for Jesse. It's the code name that you give it. And then I took the upstream kernel and then slapped it on the system. And this is the latest 316.1. I also made the same experiments as I mentioned earlier with Ubuntu 3.10, which they come with their own distribution. But I'm not going to come here and tell you all the things about Ubuntu. I'm just going to talk to you about Ubuntu 316.1 in this talk. And then of course everything else on Debian in those two kernels that you see up there. For the experiments I use a really cool machine. This is a Sony Bio Pro 3. It is 13 inches wide. And the best part about this computer is it's super light. And its battery power lasts about six hours and 30 minutes, they claim. But I've made it last a little longer. So if you like to take a look and pass it around. I love it. I really, really like that computer. It has touch screen. It has really nice mouse track buttons. And it seems pretty responsive. And in terms of power, it seems to do very well. It has a Haswell ULT Core i5 4200U. And it has a 128GB SSD drive. Pretty cool computer if you're looking for a system to purchase. And also this one is the computer of choice of Linnester balls. So yet another reason why I wanted to see how did it do in terms of power. Additionally to that I use Yokogawa WT-310. This is a power meter. And I also use a photometer to gauge the brightness of the screen. I use power top. And all my tests are 10 minutes intervals. I'm measuring wall power, suspend power management, idle power. And of course I have to make sure that my battery is fully charged. I did the mistake that at the beginning I was taking this test and the battery wasn't charged. And my numbers were going to the 20 watts range. And of course I was freaking out. So about the results. Well, no animals were harmed in this experiment. I have to give kudos to Debian because they did a really good job. It seems that they are pretty proactive at keeping power top updated every time there is a release. I have noticed with the other distributions I have installed they usually have a very old version of power top. So kudos to them for that. So we're going to talk about in the graphs that I'm going to show you, we're going to have on the x-axis watts. And then we are going to have times. And of course it's 10 minutes I've mentioned before. And so before we go into depth into what this graph means, I took two tests, very simple tests. One is a screen on idle. And the other one is a screen off idle. And the reason why I took those tests to begin with is because if you think about it, probably 80% or 60% of the time your computer is idle, doing sitting there doing nothing. And most of the times you are like on your desk talking on the phone or something and the computer is going to go to sleep and you even go and touch the touch screen so that it doesn't actually go to sleep. And I sometimes do that. So that's what I thought this is the most part where the computer lays. Right. So here in this graph, I took about out of the box, Debian on that computer I'm showing you. I just installed just a distribution and the app and the lower blue line is the screen off idle. And so what I did in here is I only changed the brightness of the computer. So if you look into all these computers that come out of the shop of the store, they come with a very bright screen and they do it so that it looks very from the screen and all that is great and nice. But it turns out that when you are working, you actually don't need all that brightness and you actually don't know that good for your eyes either. So the people from the panel, the panel guru, they say that it's actually good to have your screen in 200 nits. And 200 nits is just like an urban, I'm sorry, 200 lumens. And this is number where you can see the screen and you can work and it looks bright and it's very, very nice and comfortable for you to just do your work. So that's it with the photometer. I went and looked what was the 200 lumens there.  And I do that by changing sys class, backlight. And sometimes if like in instance in this computer we have Intel GPU, so we have Intel back and brightness. But there are some don't use that. And so then you are going to have a CPI taking that for you or the driver that comes with. And then of course brightness. And so in here, I put it into 36. But the one thing that I want you to take away from here is that don't go to your computer to slap in 36 in there because it's not going to work. Big chances is that just look what is the current number that you have. And usually I just half it, put it in half and then add that number. If it is bright or if it is too dark, well then just adjust it as you feel it works for you. But the thing in here is the idea to take away out of this slide is by only doing this, I am saving about 50, 54 minutes of power by only keeping my screen a little darker on the six hours that I have of battery. So that's a pretty good savings if you think about in the long run. So in case the previous slide didn't show your imagination on how much power your panel takes, I put together this slide. And this is basically a pie chart that is showing me in the system how much my panel consumes. And as you can see here is 81%. The second citizen that uses more power is the CPU. And one can argue that one can tune the CPU to make it use less power. But effective our panels are the big consumers. So just keep that present when you use your systems and you tune them for power. So the next step I did is I took the system and I installed Linux kernel 3.16.1. And again I did the two tests, screen on and screen off, both idle, screen on idle and screen off idle for 10 minutes. And in here I found that my screen on idle and, well wait, and then after that I run power top. And then after running power top I figured out that I saved with the screen on idle one hour and 45 minutes. And then I also saved three hours on the screen off idle. So that is a lot of battery time. And if you are like in an airplane, many of you did that to come here to this conference or traveling or in your house or somebody's friend's house without your battery charger, three hours is going to give you a lot of time to work, right? So keep that in mind. And this is also with the change of the backlight. So in here I'm kind of stepping stones on the changes that I'm adding. I'm not only running power top but I added my Linux kernel. I changed my backlight to make it less bright. And then also run power top. So that was pretty neat that I saved one hour and 45 minutes. And then the screen off idle three hours, that's about 48% of difference here in power consumption. That's very good. Now the next slide. I am comparing my out of the box versus the kernel. So the previous slide was that computer with kernel 316 but just by running power top. This one is the kernel that Debian had versus 316 kernel and doing exactly the same things. So in here I know I found out that my screen on I'm saving two hours and 24 minutes. And in screen off idle I save the same amount of time. And that's actually expected. But it is expected because the new releases of the kernel should have more patches. And since Haswell is still only a new platform, there are patches that keep on going upstream for that. So that was nice. So a lot of you use power top and in the different forums I found and even in the mailing list I hear people that they don't know what these numbers mean and how to use it and how to analyze this data. So we're going to go a little bit about that data that you see on power top. And also I'm going to tell you how this computer did with the out of the box kernel and with the screen off. So in this screen we have process idle state report. And basically here it's showing me what is my processor doing when it's supposed to be doing nothing. The processor is partitioned in different models if you will. And it has, this particular processor has four CPUs. There are grouped CPUs are grouped by two in this processor and they are grouped in cores and of course there are two cores and then they are all grouped in a package. And in the CPUs in the core they share memory and interconnects and things and then in the package they share the buses and you probably don't know all these things better than I. Anyway, so here the main idea that I want to show you is that in the screen off idle when it's not tuned my CPUs are reaching 98% on the deep C state. And if you're familiar with power management features of Haskell ULT they added different C states and a C state is basically a place, I call it a place that the software goes and turns off certain things of the system. So for instance C0 is when the system is all fully up. All the power is going through all the systems. C3 to C6, the system is turning off certain buses and the C6 is turning off the memory caches in certain parts of the memory and then it keeps on going down until the memory is totally flushed and turned off all the way to C10 and also the buses and the lines and it just goes down turning off turning off to minimize the amount of power that they use all the way to C10. So the other thing I noticed here is that in my cores I'm reaching C7 residency and that is good. And on my GPU I'm also reaching RC6 residency which is good but if you notice on my package level all my numbers are on C2 residency and that is a problem because that means that the package is just not turning completely down to the idle state that is supposed to go. And if I go and look into the tune after I run power top and did all these things that turn down the screen color and all the things that I just explained I'm still in the same position where I only have my package level 99.1% in C2 residency and the rest of my C my deep C states are not I don't have any percentage. So that's a problem and so I went and asked people around and why would that be and it turns out that the graphics driver usually in these cases the bigger issues lay either on the graphics driver or on the sound drivers and the third resident is the networking. So those usually those three groups are the ones that have the most problems in terms of power management. So I went and asked and it turns out that the Intel driver has panels of refresh setting flag that I can set when I start my kernel and I had to do I had to set that and you also there were a couple of other flags that I'm pointing right here the PCI ESPN force and in this once I set that I should go when I do my screen off I was able to go and do C7 residency which is good before it was done and then when I went and oh well when I went and tuned my machine I should have gotten C10 residency and I didn't update this part but the thing the the point in here is that I didn't get my C10 residency as I was supposed to get it so focus on the left hand side and it should C10 or some sort of residency in there after this soon after you run power top after you turn down your your things and you have this flag set on your kernel to start up your your system um so that that that's a problem because this was uh with kernel 316.0 and so again I went back and asked the people what's going on here we are having a regression sure enough we did have a regression and um the patch was already uploaded into our internal thing up to vf stream in the next version of 3.0 that 16.0 and there is also another regression that I'm working on and just the debugging at the moment um that it has to do with panel cell refresh and it turns out that with the panel cell refresh I notice in this computer I get a lot of flickering screen with kernel 316.0 and it's awful because you can definitely it's just not usable the computer unless you are on like a lower screen level um so they are working out those patches and now I when I did this test we've seen previews uh kernels and also buntu I didn't run in many issues I actually was able to reach my C10 residency by doing these things that I'm explaining here so that's something to take and those are some easy steps that one can do and they just don't take much time so another thing that if it's not the kernel and if you are not sure what's going on then it might be that just the software that you have loaded on your computer is just not behaving properly um a place to go and look into that is power top of course and um you can look into the amount of wake caps that the system has um power top gives you a really nice list of of the software processes that are taking the most amount of of wake ups and if you take a look in here of course the Intel graphics driver is listed in there so that that would be a way to point out if you are debugging this kind of problems but if you are also debugging your driver you can commentize your driver with this and it should tell you if you're being delinquent on the wake ups per second this is a nice art and it's meant to be like that uh another setting that power top has is the ability to tell you what are the device drivers and the devices that are not tuned correctly for power management and so if you go to the last tab of power tab it's called tunables and in what power top shows you here in the html form is um it gives you the script that you should run on your computer so that you can tune that device for power in terms of power management and so once you go and test that every one of them work you could only use run power top auto tune every time you start your computer power top doesn't um keep a memory every time you restart your computer of these things because this is we don't consider this is our job uh power top as a tool it's a tool more to help you identify and get better usage of your computer but we feel that will be more work of the distribution actually than than us i feel distributions will be more should be more um hands on on getting these systems um to tune their software on this on the system so at least on the more um the more common systems that are out there so if you have your Linux system and you are tired of auto tuning or tuning it every time just go ahead and put this into your startup script and that should do it for you after you test every one of them because at times that might break your system so be be aware of that yeah because so and it's not because power top but it's because there are these devices out there that don't have really good drivers and when you go and tune it in terms of power it turns out that the device doesn't behave well so it ends up breaking your system so be careful well now i did um i did um study on what other devices how the devices that i plug into this computer behave like the mouse sd drive um uh the usb card i also took one of those memory cards and slap it in there and left it you know that's the scenario that we usually have as users we just go upload our pictures and then we forget about our card that is still in there then we just take it everywhere with us until it's the next time to go take pictures and we take it out again so in terms of power management how those things affect our system and i think the mouse one is the most common and it's i found it pretty cool oh sorry but first we're gonna talk about the background color so of course the screen is very important and as we already saw before it takes a lot of um of power right so in this in this specific experiment i tested i was curious about how is the out of stock deviant gradient um screen which is pictured above in the screen how does it behave with respect with a solid color and i was thinking well maybe or i could test all the all different colors right if i'm very ambitious but there is only limited time i have so i pick white and black backgrounds to test and um i wanted to do also rgb but again my time was oh of an essence so in here um i have my out of the box deviant and i compare that against um my deviant when it was tuned and that would be the two blue the light blue the light blue line is for the out of the box deviant and the dark blue line is for the deviant after this tune and you can see the big difference in terms of how many watts you're saving here you're saving about four four watts only by you stunning your computer um and that was about yeah four minutes it saves you there is something wrong here anyways then i went and compare my out of the box deviant with my black background and it saves you about uh four four hours and 30 minutes of battery if you have a single black or white background i actually uh went and test both and they both approximate to four four and a half hours of battery savings if you just go into into from a gradient color to a black uh one color background and the reason for this is because the um there is some of this is uh because the frame buffer compression and of course the GPU needs to work a little hard to get these colors and and these colors of the the gradient process and if you have only one color well then it's much easier for the GPU the memory and all these things to get only the one color presented throughout the whole screen um so that was actually pretty interesting that by changing my background uh brightness and also my background color to a solid color i'm saving four hours and 30 minutes that's that i think that's a big win um so the thing was the mouse so i put in my mouse and i think the mouse is the most common case because a lot of people use this in their computers those little pluggable mouses i use a regular mouse that just has a hotel and your plug forever but it's very similar a case and um basically i have my screen on and my screen off idle and my screen on is like a reference of how it behave and then i have my mouse out of the box which is the blue line which is very similar to my screen on it is good and compatible so that means that your mouse is not really eating your battery there are some mice out there that are criminals on this so be be aware of that and then and then i did my mouse on the 316 and you notice it's still it's still good but then i did tune the system by having the mouse connected and the difference was so great it is about two hours and 25 minutes of battery savings by having my mouse tuned so if i can have my mouse the convenience of using my mouse especially now with this tracking thing is i forgot the name of it the panels the track panels that are so complicated to use especially if you are not used to it and you have the convenience of having your mouse you will have two more hours only if you just tune your system that is big savings uh and very nice and convenient so highly recommend to tune your system when you use any time now we're going to talk about other distributions and again i only have ubuntu and devian at the moment to compare i will have all the distributions through the time this has been about six months of work on on doing these presentations and the more i do i know that i learned that i have to of course go to the next new kernel and retake all my data in both distributions and then also just update things and change and it's been fun but it's a lot of time anyways in here we it was actually very nice and comparable i was pleasantly surprised but the one thing i thought was actually weird is that ubuntu behaved a little bit better than devian within the screen on idle and this i use the one thing i did in this in this test to make it more like a common base i use kernel 316 and i also use power top i make sure that my system was fully tuned in order to make this happen and the reason why i did this is because usually with the distributions that come the kernels that come within the distributions they have certain changes that are specific for that distribution and they just have so many tweaks and things and so i think it would be more fair to compare apples to apples here so for the screen on idle if you use ubuntu you will have 19 more minutes of battery life and with the screen of idle you have 11 more minutes it's small but i feel there is room for improvement in there in the devian world and then chances are that in the next kernel release things change i'm not sure what would be the variables here but in order to identify what makes this difference i feel one will have to go in a deep understanding on what what are the different components of the system and how they are behaving in terms of power of course okay so as you know there is a lot of room for improvement here um again kudos to devian to have powered up to have the latest version of it installed but i still feel that the distributions can do a more aggressive approach to do better power management on the systems that are out there ubuntu for instance they are trying to be good class citizens and they have a place where they say these are the platforms that we badge for and they even have a website and they have a list in there of the systems it's very cool but i feel they could do a little more and and we all could do a little more right and what i mean by that is um like for instance i show you there were some changes on the graphics driver intel graphics driver and that if you use those flags your system will behave better and will have a better um it will have more mileage your battery will have more mileage right the question in here is how do you know that you have to actually set those flags right well that is something that we are working at intel and trying to get that data out there for the community to learn but i feel that we could work in a better partnership with our distribution partners and and solidify those that methodology where this data gets to their hands that's one place that i see that we can influence and get better at and i feel this forum is a great opportunity to open that discussion the second thing i feel that we could do better is um the distributions probably could have a database when they install the system where they know what are the best known configurations and match that to that configuration and that do that for the user so that the user doesn't have to run power top every time that they start the computer that would be very nice but that would take a lot of work understand on the part of the distributions there is always a happy medium right so the happy medium in my in my scenario here is how about giving the ability to the user of tuning their power when they install the distribution on their computer um having the ability to survey what are the devices probably using even power top or a subsection of power top or you're better the tool that you have that you like and run it while you do your installation so that those configurations are kept and are kept throughout the life of the computer i feel that would be a very um good thing if it happens from from the distributions um and then the other thing is well this is actually a boring one but i'm going to be boring and use uh solid colors for your backgrounds because that's what it is up most of the times on the computer and yes it's boring but it saves you guys save save a lot of power and then um um i think that's all the things i feel that we could do that i can think of at the moment um i want also to invite oh before i go to that i want to invite everybody who is in this room to be part of power top as you are all users or most of you are users it happens that i am also the maintainer of power top hint all the presentation right and um it's um really nice community and is growing and we accept patches from everybody it's an open source project and um it would be really nice if we get more people engaged so i would like to invite you all to go to one that or forward slash power top and get our ripples and start contributing and have ideas and bring them on and then with that i want to thank you and open the questions so just two quick questions uh the first is so how much in aggregate were you able to increase your battery life on um so this is this was a system that lasts six hours and 30 minutes and i put it so it was lasting about four hours at first and then i was lasting the five and then the food six and a half and sometimes a little more sometimes a little less it changes right um if i go back in terms of of time my last slide one of the last slides um tell us the one with the screen this one that's the most amount of time that you can that you will get this is this is i did everything in here i had my one color on the background i tuned my system using power top and i also um added all the flags on my kernel startup and so that did the trick for gaining four hours and 35 minutes all together and the other question was so how does this compare to other operating systems which we that's a good question so actually um windows is doing a really good job at tuning their operating systems to the new platforms they are very aggressive and they work with intel into getting their systems but it turns out that at the open source technology center we only do linux right so um it's been uh the disability has been increasing and there are more teams and more people and more engagement on that sense um there are a lot of platforms of course and there is android and then there are they all do different distributions but the idea is that with these presentations i'm giving i spy more interest in the community so that the different distributions open and help and do more work on terms of power management sure i'm sure i could look this up when i get home but is um power top at intel specific tool or does it work with other processor family that's a very good question so power top works mostly on intel platforms uh i know it has uh ports into some arm arm architecture and also amd uh unfortunately i don't have any of these things and i don't do tests on them we have a validation team which which do but is very narrow their scope in that in that terms but yes they have support and again it's an open source project so if you see that you have a nice processor that you want to have the ability for that be my guest bring it on and we receive your patches and we make it happen yes right here just to provide a bit more detail on the arm stuff it's it's slightly more intel are quite organized about having all those power states and it's nice and consistent across the entire chip family chip families and amd have done the same kind of thing whereas an arm world there's all sorts of power states but they're completely different on every um chip family so it's a lot harder to go what do we even call these states so we haven't got the same consistency which makes it rather harder to kind of provide the same feedback but still there is reasonable support for at least some chip sets i'm not exactly sure what is and isn't and they've they've realized this is a problem and people are at least standardizing some kind of level names um i haven't been keeping up with exactly what's been going on but basically linaro has been doing quite a lot of this for the last four years so you get more or less the same experience thank you i think we are out of time they showed me the red carol ready so if you have more questions i will be at the whole in the next sessions and thank you very much and uh don't forget to tune your systems in terms of power