But now the scene itself, watch out at the lines, the scene itself, he atwezi wan bia, the scene that you played with the saboke, of course it was more less like a love scene, you know, romance on a strip, kidogo, kidogo but you know, when you watch, did you feel and how was it ino shooting that, that particular scene, ilikuwa je ebu take us to? Sorry to say this but romance scenes are Kenyan films, Amazon, Africa, zyu kanga fake, atunam but this is your husband, kujupige wiyumate, ina kana 2 fake, bazi maku kwa nene, illet, realness, make and tell even the number of takes to li tikuwa, ikwa muwaja. Ikwa nukonam tu, nukonam tu, aluliza, aluliza ha, aluliza ha, udem akonam tu, mutuakia liku ba luliza, ikwa nukonam tu. Aka the geto painting, on my left is Amina Hussein. Guys, these beautiful ladies have been featured, or they have major roles on the latest premiered movie, klik klik bang. Dari kubana, stupige yosho. Apapalefti. Tuna atraos tu li piga last weekend. Lono tu nene na kumbi oka tu mupenya, ama tu mogelia. That is why he was my top pick for the strikers representing the Kenyan team in Norway. Muse, manoru wei tu nene nge nande gya thangapi. Kumi so tende zi naha. If only I had the last say. Nene na brazil kongezwa ha gama. Mera nene kuches nimi tu lo nyama kumdomo. Kwa hende uko? Nene mendo kia? Nadiwa last months have evu kunjika sisi. Lafu situation yungu palem tanitreki. Nile nambis pitewa nukama dapida daisiz. It's been 11 days. This is weird, but imagine me sita kujaj. Checking bro, meza condition fetis ana kukikosi ako. I'm killing the speeches, na kumbi am killing the speeches. Nitu meta sedi yungu atin, taku jani kweke to watch. Kolkumi siti koraasa. To pick a story watu ambi e, kwa li filaji e koyo movi. And let me tell you guys, they outdid themselves. Ladies, mkwa aje? It's ok, it was good. It was good. Let's start with, how did you guys feel? Because I know everyone's reaction was different. When you were told that you want to feature, you were supposed to feature in this movie. I know you were not even supposed to feature in this one. Uli toambia pali e prigat. Like it is when ya wapu kwa kwa premia, toambia, how did you feel? Wei, hiya mkwanze li kwa nile ya. Wa, mkwa serious. Because I had information, kujutu kwa na kwa creative room, kwa moja na kina daily to get in as a show. So best time waki audition, roli ya kasi si na nini, pia mini kwa nili kwa pwa mamushika ako. So, uzakendo ziti kwa mabia main part. So pia kido kwa kana mbe si pia ufani. Mbe alakini ta kwa fia. Si mi na juwa nini, nini, but tikuwa na yo, moral sa na juw, pia na juwa siwa big itna kwa industry, kwa piya kwa listu na ona. So kana bia fanya tu, usupo fanya, akuna kitu, unini, ita kwa habenia. Na waki fanya ita, akuna kitu ta lose. So it's like, wacha mini pigei shuguli. Na mini katuma. So it's kuna pigei nangwa, niaje, unafanya rola mamushika kwa like, kwa nili kwa kwa serious. So mi nili stuka alafu, nili kwa scared also. Si kitu misdi kwa mbelea screen sana. Mi nimi say na kwa mbo kwa nyuma, writing and stuff. Ama nikiwa kwa screen, niki tu kwa dogo, kwa roli kwa dogo kwa one minute, kwa kupita. So it's like, na nikiwa maniku ready. Sizi waldu watanchu kwa aje. Sizi japi geisho. Sizi ka neza delivery fiti. So it was, badaikiwa kwa niwi. Now, amina. Amina mnuna meti ga dress leo. Amina, amina ni, sizi ni, she's not girlish. Brave. Lakini alitigi wa simu, roli ake niya dim. Amina, how was it when you were called? Okay, first thing fat, what I want to say is that, mimi nikiwa maniku audition. Miss Kona, jo ni feel it. Okay. Madam producer to Ali Denise, shout out to her. Ali reach out to me ake na biya, hi amina, blah blah blah blah. This is the script. I'm sending you, send me your top number, the script. Do for me audition, Tuma. So I'm going to audition, nakubukan niya mka subui, kandai ka beshtiangu fulanya na to biegun, shout out to him, kwa check ni record. Aka ni record, puka Tuma. Mika fumgeo chapter up. So when I was receiving the phone call, ni kandai ya, you've been short plated for this role. You'll come tomorrow at around this time to onge nini nini, the officers kaha wa, like all those things in short. Yes. So, me kufika heivi, kwa tamina ni tika omusho? Ehe. Ya mimi mingi heivi. Nafungu amelango na mbe. Welcome, welcome. Namuende. Ami juimuende. Ehe. So nimi mingi heivi, nimi fungu amelango. Nika hagiwa na sledge, Allah, sledge tumi kwa na mas. So nika like Allah, mame sledge ame kuzey production ni hini. Nani mfunguai, ma popularity. Mika maka inca including nija nyangumi. So umi hati Hahah, nika, Kutani zi, n Efendi 맛iau trenan will and Abe Naka jack. I admire the miracles, mi komo bakilia naam 어� oneself on tore up I than founda didn learn what's happening, nika me kufika, kufika patentai script. Nimi makei na first tooling, ilata tourism, birna jáks te Suit SFW writing script. Nika se wa mik yeah, I want to digest two things. This is Philips you are working with and the second thing is that this is a role where you are supposed to be that count girl and okay, what I believe as an artist I am an actor we are supposed to be versatile So kutu nilifanya nili kachi, miwukangachini niki so mga script kwanza nikiwa pekiyango I want to hear how it sounds I want to hear how it sounds and that's how I became kadefa and you did an amazing job as well now because I know you've been in so many other productions before you've done a couple of other productions over the movies, other films series as well what was it different working with Philips this time so first thing first I'll say that since kutu nilifanya stage play till now we're doing a stage play we've done everything I've done so many productions kutu nili kwanza you just do your thing, you're doing a role go home, blablabla because it's an ongoing series on TV but with Philips this one is a feature film so if you're featured in a film that means you have to be there physically, mentally, everything so when I joined Philips first but the kind of treatment the first day in ituli kwa hapo we were with now Kev now Basil Mungai the main actor so we were supposed to of course work together chemistry and everything but although you guys should have a chemistry because we were just listening and then what really stood out for me with Philips production is that Dennis came to us and he said if you guys taken lunch yes we were about to take lunch you need to read through so most of the read throughs you need to read through so he needs to read through the lunch so he needs to read through the lunch so he needs to read through the story so Dennis came to us and he said since you are the youngest in the room when you take your room and you feel intimidated ah so we were like ah no why I just want to know I really protect my actors I want them to feel at home and that's when I felt like I feel at home that is different and so unexpected okay now when you sew your lines when you sew your lines when you sew your lines you guys need to watch the movie the language that was there was PG of 18 21 21 by the age of 18 21 in the Banff Parental Guidance what came into your mind did you feel like oh my god me nikiwa na lines I had an idea because as I said before I had a language I had a vulgarness I had a lene but when I sat down I saw lines I was like brother, I appear way way I sat down and watched I was like I want to watch but I was like even if I am not at home even if I am in a hood I don't want to be in a skia even if I am in a pit I don't want to be in a skia I was in a bedstee and I was in a lab so it was like I was like I was in a bedstee I was in a bedstee and I was like but it was so bad I was on an online real life I was still in a bedstee and I was in a bedstee so I was like but I was like Ume nasana lakini wacha ikuje Kitu lini bamba ni even di o'iko, we are not pretending We are not pretending at all That is one thing inini bamba na the whole script Ha kuna kitu ya wong wa po Nivi tu ziko Nivi litu ta pata maybe wasa ni wengi no na nga That is true extreme, that is a Even di o'iko But now the scene itself Watch at the lines The scene itself He atwezi wan diya The scene that you played with the saboke Of course it was more or less like a love scene Romance Una strip kidogo Kikidogo but You know When you watch, did you feel and How was it ino shooting that That particular scene Ili kuwaji ebu take us to Kuna kamera people kuna nini Because you know these are some of the things We don't get to do more so many times In Kenya But you can go to Netflix These things are there because This is the life that you are living Yes First, even before to fiki kufanya You have seen One thing that appreciates Philip was there even before Kwa script uta yo na tiku ebu But from the director's point Lazi mangi leta Because number one Romance since the Sorry to say this But romance since the Kenyan films Amaza Africa Zyukanga fake Atu na ambuatu This is your husband Kujupi gyo yu mate Inakana too fake Lazi ma kukumini Ili realness So first even before the scene Philip ali kumini dead through He made sure first I'm comfortable kwe fani Ili make sure After the scene But don't have a comfortable Hange kubanini fani ebu Mama siku kwa sawa Ata edu kumini ebu Think of day before Even ata I think at two days Lazi ma hange ni bring home Mentally ni kumini mi receive Alafu nili onapia It's part of the job Ni scene Ziku kwa Netflix Ziku kwa Zyubu bi gani Mi yu kwa ma ni me like character Into her Angelina Jolie Kwa za me fani zi scenes mob Na yu kwa na bold Mi yu kwa na like boldness Me ni mi yad Ma siku e gyo naka kwe do Ata yu siku tukenda kwe faniya Also It was like a closed scene Inupia ni feel comfortable Hange kwa na like a waramen It was mi Nya kundi I think na Madam producer Namutum moja Na pia Di muetua kupukuni dress So I want me make sure Okay kwe faniya And me I was okay with it Kus pia It's part of the job It's art It's art Art So then Aku kwa na anything else Ni scene mu na chapa Mi kama tuwa kwa na tosi mi tuwa poinje Wila mi na Ta feel weirda kitu kwa na mi tuwa poinje Do shubu li ba do na ka So after the scene Yu e nyakuni Muli se ma nyakuni ni besta Kwa kwa ma besta For a while Wila besta Si sana do Mi ni me kwa ni kemo ona Lafupia Kupata na set ni ni ni ni So did you guys talk about it Before with Nyakuni now And after how was it How was it Before Before doja Ata Ili kwa ilia Okay Okay to na pigeishu guli So Ii kwa tii Stasa me li kwa mo Ii kwa mu Bado tu li kwa tu sawa At after scene Bado li kwa tu sawa As I said Ni kwa ni scene ni role Siya tini kitu ring Mi medu Mi pigeishu guli Kwa kwa comfortable Twifanivi Mi kwa until even The number of takes tu li tikuwa Ii kwa moja Ii kwa That's That's La simula katu perfection Nituango Just like any other scene Just like any other scene Nanda ii fil po ala Ata Ata ya kwanza fila itu uliza Ume fili kwa je Take off Sawa Tupige taking in e Okay So if kamari nao Sasa tu me duna di direct Sisi wei ne we Tuli pulo Tuna ii fi fiti Ii kwa tu kwa tiyan Comfortable after the scene Tulu kwa tu sa Professionalism Professionalism Nitu kwa vizuri Ata mi mi nilis duka Ii kwa Okay Siwa Natsi Okay Guys If you watched the movie Let us know down on the comment section Iopatulio Nazi Now Amina Nawa siyambia watu Iopatulini Siyambia watu Kilamta watu Semitu ikuwa je Mineza snitch But now Amina You also had a last scene With Bezo Mungai And From the Trailer ilikuwa pia So people were ready to see that last scene Kwa red carpet palen kwanuliza watu What scene can't you wait to see And some of them were like You know Amina and Bezo And others were saying From that scene Nika mani ni muli kwa muna jwana Before that That connection that we could be on that view Nika ma muli kwa muna jwana before Muli kwa muna jwana Amina First thing first Kitu na faujiwe kamsani General art Maybe acting Miu se manga It's not a must you know An actor and a worked man A good actor is a good actor Mita yuki nekatana Uyo niya kunditipingeshum shochu tapega Because that's what If I come to the set Na ane act now I want it to be comfortable To be comfortable with me So what we actually did was Yes We met previously on set It was like the first person Monya shei kwa beshteyangu kina Ujwa waliwa kusia Ay mamu fiti fiti Mas tori ne siyapo Ay mamu fiti Mas tori ne siyapo So Ushona wali Actors wana wako kwa Serizenye zina ndere But they don't Awajifani Honesty Awajifani like Mini kwa kwa Serizenye ndere But I am humbled So I remember that day We were shooting a cut scene I was just seated in Apokatikati So I was shooting outside scenes Mini kwa ne me choka So I said let me just sit and relax So he was just sitting in front of me Apondo story Ilianza Ilianza mamu fiti Ilianda mamu fiti Laughnau to make the matters more good Prodisa kava kusimani You know what you guys You shall go to Un muta Yes coincidentally Igaria nyanenda Mutakom nam drop off Kwenyanaisi So we won't that You were high in outs That's your duration Noa Iliya Kilamta meba earphones Budo kofiti Amin kupo Naya kupo Aya tradisha earphones Kilamta nilina maisha Ketuli kwa ibo So when I walked inside the room Before she greeted me Nika tam Then I saw him Nika mgaivi kofiya Anama hi hi Nemi wazi nisa li miya Nisha su na jyo of kus Nya kundi nimi kwa ni kemi jua for long Like liya hi You know So When we came to that scene What we can really comment about him It's because We gave each other Time to Like In time This is weird But imagine me sita kujaj Canalize our lines Like what you're saying Does it make sense to a normal person Wanyako outside there And they are in love Can they relate Can they relate You can't just come here Check it Amina kupenda Blah blah blah blah And then Nia Yes You have to be You have to show people You know what This is my boyfriend Even if he's not my real boyfriend This is a movie It's art And art is a symbol It's a symbol If I give you a symbol of something You must see that thing Inside that symbol Because the symbolism I mean I come through So When we did the parts That we were doing At first we were like We can hack this We can hack this We can do this He really made me So comfortable with him Ya We can learn same money Let's do this man Tofanyi Tofanyi And that really helped me You know Unjukunasa Kana demo nakuangare Eh You know But we can do Tofanyi show Show a job Yes Do you feel like The society we are in right now Has really now Been able to embrace Us doing such scenes And not judging us As maybe we should Do these things In the movie Do you feel like The society we are in Has accepted Country Queen Will drop the other day Eh And We can watch You go to Prashanga You will be like Hmm I know Sinzapul So It's high time Ya Kuna pointi na ficanga Kuna kitu na itonga Elevation ko society Kuna patangam ko First born, second born Third born queen First born Kuna fanya mamakwa na shitu kuna So So Second born na kujanamiba Third born So Eh Anachomba kila kitu So I think So I feel Umiku janamiba unika mani We sell if anya baby So Una patangakua Society As we are growing Art is also growing And it will be so Ignorant of us Or maybe as filmmakers To tell ourselves You know what I see it as Kubali na society So What to see in film To keep it evil It will be Because this was best On a real life Situation Because Umistya na lukwana penda uboid Uboidsa lukwana penda ude So Akungekua na Ya realistic part Kamai saboke nashigwa na onge click Ya Get all of kamaingekua Mimimim lanziya Get una kujakuna Mouwi na shanga Brothers Me na fanya gave it to them Wa say wa na tope ma la Na at end of the day We need to break that No Because many heroin told me they are feeling image 50 came to the film Kuchumii ni bambangana naerubê half life I remember was yanga better watching itagara Wor li thika ke small Iwa mna pudo enz scoot Wor li jaribu So it'sZt the same thing Kangu naerubê half life is cute yo Iwo Mi Ho nusMC ju ni Ha chandini Uh ya Uke ona flats pense they are a try to let you were just being realistic and at the end of the day Even if people try saying you know you guys have more chemistry outside the socials of the river akuna kitu kamaeo because una patanga yes kuneza kuakuna bakosa Ia ni main shaya umtu Lzaki nika mae me fikakuakunona za semai that means to negila wapat It means you portrayed it like it was supposed to be like a real life situation yaa Niki tuiko atta wene koliku kwa nei ya open niyengu ya niki tuiko ok, namita na buti rasu mi sayi na evi lunch time watua willi wa tattoo wanapegeyo suguli hey wanapegeyo suguli banda evi isjyu wa pi wa akuna tuo me to kwa kupifanya wana get so mi nili tema niki tuiko watu nili kwa apreciatina kenyans ni the fact that wana nanga since zingine za romance ni fake that means wana takayo wachenu jinga cha paiki tu veneiko nasi mi nili stuka after Premia na screening ya sato, oto nek Yivoldu ena kwaanga Nija tu daganya Kuna wana Yivoldu ena kwaanga Yand minute Ushi kwaanga tu kona na wuko enja Then next minute tu kuna pedansi Yivoldu ena kwaanga True Nili ona Namba wan, kuna Io realesia wa Kenya o utaka Natakuyo na vinyaiko And namba two Kwa chaku beba artistun dogo Kwa chaku beba wasani wetun dogo Desain kama Kama 50 shades of gray Ikona witu kama easy So do ya kina elite Ikona witu kama easy So si zitu tifana ya mumata kutuambia Atia twazidu ati Kutaka leka shiguan kali fanya afana I think kuna shida ya Sorry for that I think pia kuna ishida ya nitu kikuro So we are very keen to deny I think pia kuna ishida ya nitu kikuro O siya, emu fuga tivi Ini simi ni gani I think yupi eno ina tuwafi ekti piya tisi Ya Utu kia tunna gropia Noja piya vinya tu meguro eno ina mata Lotuna pata Kuna witu zi gina tisi Tsu luko tunna kata gropia Post to it And it's okay to regulate It's okay to regulate Pia kuna kwa exposed to it But it's okay to regulate Because we will face it when you grow up At the end of the day So sa kukosa kwa kwa moving I kama kutuambia Yo, ya Waza zi weitu kusema Ah, zi ma iyo Nona naki dogili kwa ni Iyo miyaka una Namba wan Okia fika apu kone simi kama iyo But kuna Kuna pati ini uki groguro kuma kufo But kuna pene Sasana nikuna kwa audienciatu Kuna weni One appreciate to Sava piya sisi Sisi has Kenya no wasani Tume matwa Iyo design ya tunna zi pigya Onaga nasa ma nirobeha flei Fili kwa na iyo realness na ni ni Woli appreciate tunna zi pigya ikitu Sasa Kliklik bangi me leta Diyohi For sure Diyohi So nili like veniata Feedback niya tulipata After the screening and the premiere People are like Ya Man zi niki tu Iko no me leta veni ya iko So watami mi li ni pati hele For sure Were you worried of the kind of reaction that you'd get Kidogo Kidogo Ocha ni seme Ten 20% Ocha zen usha iitiga No, na taka na danganya Una danganya Kuna wu Kuna Acha ni pavie Deep down Namba Misi Ok, na zi sema Siji apige shubulisana Let me I can name some Nini Some actors So for example Ni muna kina kama Shizka vienga Or screen Akina wu injab Wasi wengisana Wamefanya ma shows Akina Pascal Tokodi Meni li kwa nuna Ata ni me kwa moving Nifanya kituka mai namba wano Say hawa ni Jui Eh, kusou majin So adiustin Majin to adiustin na iyo Level, unna checki So namba wana Ewa tani beba aje Neneza kwa ewa mingi Ewa industry na fujo Ama namba tu Ah Ali ditochakwa niya kituku tokea evo Kuna ile wasi wasi Piala zimo kwenai Una wana So veni li getiyo Feedback from wasi Ili kwa sawa Manzi ito Ili kwa true Hamjiya fake Ata kuna mtu adi nuliza Wana iya ni muna kwa nana Kama mbo muna date kus Atu jwa na atu wasi muna date We were like Oh, ah okay Imi tokea sawa Imi tokea sawa True, true Ushi kwa nukona mtu Juna jokona mtu anuliza Ali nuliza Ali nuliza Udem a kuna mtu Tua kea li kwa bali Umi kwa nukona mtu Eh Namba wan Uchi ama Kazia mtu ni Kazia mtu Rain Nini kuna mtu uta date Haiko kufotabol Uki nukitu siwati kwa barabara Haiko kuna mtu uta date Haiko kufotabol Uki enda Una kama ma de Kuna kapeji flani ma de Wana vanda Manga zingine Very interesting Wana model Model apa Kuna mtu zianda kwa mbedemi ake Wana ni model Batata kwa vangi Uma kama iya mi na mewa Imi jwa biansi So mi mi So long as na jwa Kuna boundaries This was just a role I respect Both the actor And both maybe Misimu niya kwa Pason Uta kwa poa Juhu wezi sema Ya pason na ta kwa indiktit Ijen everything uta nu Misimu niya uta kwa sakazi ake Imi ya Now I mean let's talk about You know the challenges that women face In the Entertainment industry as a whole What are some of those challenges That you faced And How have you been able To just manuva And keep going And keep doing these roles That you keep getting Fasting fast Not even women Generally actors Okay Kuna kitu ina itwa denial Kama actor Now if you don't embrace that I feel like uta kuna lot Ya kwa uta india depression Like you'll be depressed And frustrated kila siku Okay Simply because The main main Ki bituzeni actors ona piti Okunjeni mingisana Pason on life You'll find out maybe Go through a lot And then you go to Maybe now The career path now Una patha Fasting fast Palihom, palimtam Abeshchizako Wase Uta na Una mabemini aktako Like a kuchukuli serious No na no na like Uu kaziakeni kuna kusumbu Uko Iwa kuchukuli serious Wakiski amuseni Accountants na Where we Okay Uwa uto Furaisha mufigange Story But Ona kuchulianga Umu ngine Umu ngine ako Fiski Ya To serious Even the Even the parents Una nga Where we You know But Even the first thing I think actors Water generally Because Zazi before you transit From this To being this Anu na nga Ni jok suko na yo For sure Ya For sure We need to You to get a real job Jwanu na nga Acting serious job But at the end of the day Acting is a real job Ya If you treat it as your office It ako pelika bali But if you take it as a joke Then that's it Because Each and everything that you do in this life We see Take it for granted Iu jinga eni Una fanyal Whom sayki kula jaba Kif anyangizu jinga zaki You see jinga by the way Is iu endo art That is po embrace Kuna bituzi niya you can't teach Even though it's a bofi anasa yama Iko kwa blood You can't teach You know And the second thing Mabii nga isuna piti asana sanani Iu na tumayu Shoryu everywhere Going for t-shows And someone feels like Um Kwanu kasingde reta anipendi You know And most of the time When we go to K&T Una pato mkuna Akta ziwa Siwa kuna machungu Mande Bili odisha for these things Machu na jua And it happens internally For us actors And we come out to each other And we say You know what Banu si give up Shonxt niya ako Now which Muki anbi ananga ii wuna patanga Shonxt wu me kasiwa Shonxt wu me kasiwa So Goda na takanga wukumine You're patients For sure You're patients too So kuna you're patients I think Tango iiki anza kufunguka Ina kufunguka Ina kufunguka But you need to be serious With what you do If you go somewhere And Una acts Na una ichukuliaji Una kama shigwan Alingia koroliakina Kafigahie shigwan Wachana na you see Zeto wa tuwa na ongelia That's the only thing you talk about me I didn't see only that scene I saw someone who took this act upon herself And she did her role Because Wazini anbi at Niosin Kilamze wa na ona Kwa movi No There's so many scenes in Kwasiwa Bangini Udema me piga Like for example Jaki Viki Jaki Viki ya mimi kwangu In each and every project Mimi we work together Yendo the shigwa In the movie But for this main specific role She really really like told Kenyans You know what? We're going to the next level I can cry I can cry I can cry I can be so emotional Yes So To stop too kutai pkastakta Pachakwa nga liya dem musimemi Udema ni maupia kwa na maniwa luya kaita kuka geto Shia geto tuwe piga In it works out So it's us as a society to embrace Because wazini anbi ya Ata shigwan I think she can Ata agree Ya Wazini anbi geto uni ambeti kilamze tu ni musi Wazini anbi geto uni ambeti kilamze tu la ifiyaki Bi Ivo vini iko Kuna geto kuna iotu different Mababi o kuna la ifiyaki o different Kuna musiaku katikati apa You know when itu kutua apa Paya, mat Blablabla So if we touch all aspects in afilamu Without type casting someone You find out that Maybe some time back Maybe some time later Uta patam tukama Shigwan anaza tebiarolia Ubabi na mini kukuma skid Na Show in na song Ya So ya Okay Okay Now shigwan I remember during the premia You mentioned That you were representing the geto girl That's why you grew up Uma kudya ita idingine Uma experience life wuku Una represent the geto girl But I want to know What are some of the challenges That you faced when now you left the geto That's why we ended up in there I don't know what we got But ukisha experience Like in the interest now To ingine What are some of those challenges That you faced and how were you able to Just work on that Challenges that you faced after you met the geto Ya And number one Geto ya koti badu Acha ni kwa mbe Kuna bitu zingine Zingine kwa They are not new but adjusting Dili kwa ishukidogo Like wuku amtani Niza sema Nika vene kwa show Wuku na mamushka Mamushka li kwa na ingiha tupe nyanataka Jaki vike na Ke vona liya Uwa mesha ingiha nino Uku nje kuna boundary Number one Number two Apa ingiha kuna Sita ita challenge Kuna kuna naikitu ya Lazzimo Sita sema climbing up the ladder I don't have a word for it But Lazzimo push up Okay Kuna mentality Kuna mentality moji na kwa ngamtani Ila mentality ya Tukosawa Tuko equal Tuko equal si Uwa usu melalanja Nani sipe melalanja Nani Tukosawa Nuna Iu kitu nili kwa mkuna Ila reka yutswingi chini Kuna liya levelia growth Ukiwa mta inakufunga Uki kwa mapa inje U experience life ingine Inje onee Umse Muto iwa kia kuchuoflani But ana feel Ichuofili asewa na bonga Sizi takam chitambongi hangiivi So, nita nidu kwa hardki dogo Nipanishem toiwa pi Juku Juni li kwa na nilepeni Nili sumia Juni sumia shulia gawa ukomta Kuna lango jingini it was Okay, it was Ito kwa kitam mituwa kwa wei dogi Kusawa li kwa nji defend But we kwa mafa inje wewa You can't call just anyone dogi That is not good So, kuna witu nili kwa Kutoka ya This is okay This is not okay Nili kwa ni wei Culture shock Culture shock Unona The same country Eee Alafu kuna Iyo nacha mera sama ambition Apain Uki toka from hako ka circle Kamcha like everything is okay So long as umekula lunch Never done Sapa silasma Pa le inje You as a human being Unafakule Free meals ina deu kuesawa Buu device Help, ni ni ni So you basically cut your culture shock Nia yu kwa adjust Nia yu kwa break free from comfort zone Wacha ni semei Comfort zone kwa break Nili kwa ni a bit hard But ni kutupuwa ju Mituwa mita kuna mfeli nia mbia Eh, she go and excuse me Change, unita wuka change But She just change Nili adjus from that being okay Life kuna vingine unia zawa khaad Kuna wana Anaku janga nia nia mbia Eh, weku jam tani Uki anamta Tatoa maform, ni ni But uki ambi umse Wacha kukabili sana Kam to devi tu pili hasu Anana wana wana wana Wana chokesha Wei wei wei wana wana chokesha But so long Wana jia yu good life Wana asia nasema kuna afainje You need to move Toga kwa yu comfort zone Na it's not comfortable But it's worth it Eh, for sure Eh, I promise I promise here Now What is going to change guys Because Kekekbang is quite a big deal It has premiered in Nairobi In Undamombasa Do you know Oneka Aimak Kwa theatral You're going to be all over Do you know You're going to shoot Kida go Before de kwa yu Okay Nata kashu kitu fila mesema Yeah Your network is your network Your network is your network Kiyanga liya asia mtani Netwa kiniwa nihapa Sota kugroya onihapa So kitoka inje Kida kutu Wana netwa apu inje Uche kibbeze Apa inje kuna Oneza gro netwa fiyako Oneza takakumente na apa inje Kidisi kia kupulmsi Mta umlete inje Yas kutakwanakale kaskafolo Imi na utaka kubatipale Imi na utaka kugro nawewe So yon do Imi na zasema Ata mitote kumtane za test Kitoka Kida goweza taku rodi For sure Dya gotu weza taku rodi Eee Kwa zumeo inje hii lifestyle bingine Now, as I was saying It's a big deal We are going to be seeing you All over Saisine Mutumonya ta kwa na stream live Bede ta kwa pallet.tv Dotcom Ya, you guys are going to access the Film Pallet 250 shillings peke ake You will be on people's funds I can access and see you and your roles What do you guys feel is going to change In terms of your branding In terms of individually What do you feel is going to change Imi na Okay, as a person I don't think nothing will change to me Because I'll still remain humble Ya, anta kwa tulem se tu normal Piga at Rodi home Expand yourself Maybe create Try to be more good and whatever But there's some things of Change Vitu kama Uta kwa like Una kimbi atu mahali Urusyamudom Uumu amewe Kuna vitu Una deo kuna tulua sensitive You can't just go to them and say We won't get away Ya, kufkus kuna vitu You have to adjust to it and tell yourself There's some things I can say in front of these people Kuna vitu zingine Ya, kuna vitu Kama iso ni normal Uta wewe kwa kosa i SPM Okay I am that person I'm sorry So da pata wewe pia Uma huwere Juni ni apuna Una host feel It doesn't happen that way As much as we are allowed to be human beings As much as we are allowed to be human beings We just have to We are human beings but we are human beings And Hoping to grow more See more, watch more Ya, itomadili kikuja Mi na sistetu kwa Kwa ni ikonini What about you Shikwan What do you feel is going to change? Kwa mkwanza nambawani Ni ii usani Sasa ni mi mwaku I feel I can comfortably Break from kale kawal kangoka Script writing na ho Sawa neza kibiza na na usani Ya, we are waiting Yes, welcome baby Kwa se kata After premier Wala kum DM Nyajet waza pige shuguli na na Una movio karakteo Shuguli kikam Wacha ikam, live a time ko si Iyo aktimalsi kwa ni mi patiya Kwa nga 220k script na abeli Pa re na nani skuma Niko poa biya indesini But I feel I am ready for that world Kutia nambawaka di tiyeni Shuguli ikuja, tu na chapa I think I need I think I need Kwa kulaan mo Una jwa piya acting Sibili watu siya mangati Una kitu raisi Una kitu mi uu kwa ngaime ni bosa na ju Acting siya tini kitu raisi Shuguli siki lam tu waza pismambela kamera Uliye ufa nye nini It's something, ni talent waza Fillingi hawa jere respect enough Iyo talent waza Hawa jere respect wale enafa So ni tu kuilan zahidi Biya ni break feo kum fortia Ni meka tu kwa kitu kiyumta piya si raisi Nani tu kulaan kum panda juti Dogo ni wene kuna hitu na hitu na hitu Biya Alright guys, now to kima nizia Please tell guys Why they should pop us to watch Kliklik bambona Why should they go to the theatre Why should I stream on the website Please tell them Guys, let me just tell you something I have seen so many things Every production Kila kitu have seen so many movies But this one I told people the other day In ikama history It's a revolution We can sit down and to pigiya story We can say But going in terms of production And doing the actual work In a kuanga And if you watch Kliklik bambona You'll find the phenomenal part of being You'll be proud to be a Kenyan I'll tell that for sure Ni tako sure You'll feel blessed to be a Kenyan Because at the end of the day If a Kenyan production can do that To a story Yajem sayali piga That means you're going so far And just pop us to watch it Go watch it, of course everyone has their own review But so far so good I've not seen any bad comments Ni ni padidium We find all congratulations This is a good thing you've done And how it was shot It was from the heart And everything that comes from the heart Someone has given it their all Appreciate the art Alright, Shibuan Kikiwe zotaka Nifanyawase o tshisho Numbawani To support You 250 una lipa A mazaidi Will really really really go a long way Una get You're sure I think he may support 370 people Kast Extras Quite a lot Una nani doki doko But ni doumob Uki bai Ubaihi film Tuta pata motisha ku Producing ngini next Sisi kama writers Tuta kwa na papasia So tuta kwa new motivation Ya konda ku produce more Ngini ni natakamone Ubaan Tami to life Geto is not all about Drags Wizi Nini a'a Geto kuna loyalty, kuna love Kuna support Ioni life Kwa sayo engi hawa kwa privileged Kuju about geto Uki una kuna mtuhi Kwa yo movie kuna mtuhi Kuna mtuhi alieza kubiwa dawa Dar is love Yani ni kitumeto kwa kwa Royam say So mtuhiwa mtuhiwa jadeidi Na even do you happen mtuhi Mtuhi ni kuna mtutatapa kwa kwa ke Oni kama mushia Akujiya mwacha ni kainaveve Juhawunam sayo kana Siki lamalo na kitu kama yo Tumela tapia the other side of geto Biloa sayo wana Sisi slamsi uchafu Nini a'a pana It's also the other side Isho inatufunza what really goes on out here Because of kuna theme main Ni corruption Juhakorruption witu mingi zana Zime kama alive kwa isho Kuna mtuhi sayo na kosa Waza zwa kia ni past hakuwa men Hakuwa na good health kia Kuna mtuhi mi bidi akuwa muizi Juhanga za kupasiu dreams Za ke juhakorruption Korruption ni mi affect What we ngiapa in different ways Baza zwa kwa shu uedutu na onisha Maybe we say wana affect Wana easy stuff Ama wana zifanya kwa zote So you watching our show Inatufu patia support Sibsisi pekia kia ina patia sayo Wengi wana affect Wana each and everything utona kwa click click Atawe wanyu wana Utona hapa ii me nyongelisha Maybe wewa Ujaya onja Uli tojela drinki ako Orange blossom Ame kwa mtuhu na Kaka feeli kakwenda after Na up down Kwa kwa kuhuwa So support Shuta shkuru All right guys That was an interesting conversation Thank you guys for coming through You guys pulled off your role Just perfectly Anafu ebunia miye kwa isshuu moona Wengi siwa sana wame Wame watu wana juhasi juh Adi ni wajqawadu. Niwa, wajqawadu ika nanko kwa tam selekama Uwabobunna kuna kaziwa, kwa tiajiwa na k transformed kwa maikwa lahatizu. Kwa maikwa laia ni kicozia. Kwa maikwa laia na kaziwa. Y такое kuna aqa u серьgezi tuwa, kwa maikwa laia ni kiva kwa maikwa na kasiwa. K gave ni kwa kwilなんか na kபwimnata kapa na l거ja, kwa maikwa maikwa naka. Ehi, kwa maikwa kato kwa kapa. Sayu ni kisha ni kitimia. Ehi kejode. kwa wajie na naza pigerju guli So kama sii si tu neza toboa Pia na ma na wuch wina toshout tu neza pa ta motivation kudumua Mwen fiisima, una ya misa James kia Afozo ni nani Tu boe a leikata ho na nwa naama set za matrimito uli ni nani Yuku lisa, uli nani na umu watch attaenda audition Nafanya kituingine Maybe na na kwa kumuku kwa ima kubua later in the years Jw자�u sa pohchna kikido What I really wanted to add on that was Manze unajiwa sikilam saya na kuitanga kwa tembu ya kia na kwa mbia kuja Nemi kwa trust na irole So I need to tell the film industry or generally Wasiwa na fanya art Kama una kastu mze usi cast best on Okay it's good to cast, it's good to do your own Kila kitu na everything But kitu feel it in me fanya different this time Na jwa ina shituanga sana oku Kujo And she's like all of you are young Na kuna mtu apu yu atini Accept VK The rest of you are below touch But na weli kwa nero bi half life So you know she was like you know it's a good thing And it's quite emotional to us because tuliko I mean it's a hit TV that means Kesho niki kwa somewhere there as an actor Or a producer or a scriptwriter munya na julikana Not best on their name Best on their talent, yeah that's it And tuna shkuru sana Mi kwa na personali really thank Feel a belly and feel it yote Including wu maze ako apu munya na nikata Scriptpale Because what they actually did was that They give you this role that You just go have to sit down as an actor Do your research because at the end of the day Manze ono na nga atini rahishi Ono na nga ah Amina nga kitu aka handbag aka fitai No it's not easy Sometimes you have to do your own research And do these things na mina shkuru sana Because they really support you as you're doing that O.J. smalls They like to tell you How do you feel about this scene Before even you go to the scene And actually what I loved about the director With the director I don't know what to tell him Because actually he's the first director In me post kofu eji anguni kwa mabia I manze a sati Because ako jia apakwa mbicheki Mwa pala? Shikili ai? Pala ai? Ana kumbe oi Ula mmyo kuja na fila je pusu isin Ula fila utafanyaji isin Ia ni kitu inafanyanga piaweka maaktwa Ugruki e kili isin utafanyaji Una wuki leta yako Ana iya appreciate Nana ongeza mo And that's how I think people talk about The chemistry and everything And the piawa On the other side It's because Ana chakta akwe Creative on their own And then he adds his own creativity And that's how a film becomes successful Alright guys Thank you so much As I was saying You guys did your job As it was supposed to be done You pulled it off perfectly Ia ni umu ni kitu job po Nani mimi Kama ujao na wezi elewa Wezi elewa Wezi understand You just need to go and watch it It has a great storyline Shara to Abel Mutua The visuals The director few Smalls And the entire crew You guys did an amazing job Make sure you go support Kliklik Bang Cut it on the website Go premiere Go watch it in the theaters It is worth your time It is worth your money Alright guys I was hanging out With the cast of Kliklik Bang This is Shibwan And Amina You need to watch this film Thank you so much My good name is Miss Kitingi Until next time It's goodbye It's goodbye


On a beautiful fall morning, long before most have gotten out of bed, a dedicated few are already hard at work. Members of the 142nd Wings Honor Guard use the early hours of their October UTA to practice the various moves and techniques that come with the job. Leading this group is an airman dedicated to training the next generation of the 142nd Wings Honor Guard. Hi, I'm taking up Sergeant Abelardo Giannonezza and I'm part of the 142nd Honor Guard team. I'm taking over the NCOIC role. I had my flight superintendent. She recommended me to join the team. I just wanted to be something bigger than myself, be that well-rounded airman. And she thought that would be a good candidate to be in Honor Guard. Hort, arms, one, two. During this morning's training, Honor Guard members are practicing various activities. Flag folding, which involves the precise folding and presentation of the U.S. flag in a variety of ceremonies, requires coordination between team members and a steady hand. Later in the morning, members practice rifle and marching maneuvers. According to Sergeant Lanessa, today's training is just a glimpse of the hours of training it takes to develop the crisp movements that people expect from the team. Oh, it takes a lot of practice, especially when you're not used to doing those movements on a daily and just trying to make it look perfect. The movements, when you learn them, you know, they need to look crisp and snappy. That group training helps us out as a team because we're doing reps. So the more reps that we do together as a team, the better we'll look when we come together for a performance. The more practice that we get together, the better we are. The Honor Guard is always looking for the next generation of leaders. And Honor Guard training sessions are open to any team 142 member. Sergeant Lanessa finds the Honor Guard is a great way for any airman to represent the Air Force, while also connecting with their local community. So they just come out to their practices and come in with an open mind, ask questions, feel like the people that do come, they do come with an open mind and with a positive attitude. One of the ways that we can grow better as an Air Force, just being out there in the public and, you know, we're not just out there fixing planes or, you know, being part of that mission, but another representation of what the Air Force can bring. The hours can be early and the training rigorous, but just as previous generations have carried the colors, the next generation of the 142nd Honor Guard is ready to serve. Reporting for the 142nd Wing, I'm Staff Sergeant Alexander Frank.


Recorded Books and Arby Digital Present Someone to Hold A Westcott Novel by Mary Balog Narrated by Rosalyn Landor CHAPTER I After several months of hiding away, wallowing in misery and denial, anger and shame, and any other negative emotion any one cared to name, Camille Westcott finally took charge of her life on a sunny, blustery morning in July, at the grand age of twenty-two. She had not needed to take charge before the great catastrophe a few months before because she had been a lady. Lady Camille Westcott, to be exact, eldest child of the Earl and Countess of Riverdale, and ladies did not have or need control over their own lives. Other people had that instead. Sample complete. Ready to continue?


Hello, it's Tuesday, February 23rd, so I'm here at Wells Park Health Care Center to get a like. I loved to shovel snow. I can shovel everybody's driveway. I need to possibly be able to ride a bike again, stand in vacuum, check the mail, or walk to the grocery store, walk for the hell of walking. I can go on a vacation with my kids, buy myself with no help because I can walk.  Like, I'll totally be an incredibly useful person. The thought of it is just borne in my mind. It's going to be a whole new world for me. Like, like, oh my God, all these things I can do now. I'm just thinking about it. It's just kind of crazy. I actually got my leg.  It was a whole community of people who were being kind and just thoughtful and genuinely cared about another human being. I cannot thank you enough. It just makes me believe, like, you know, humanity is still decent. Complete strangers are changing the course of my life. All kinds of good. I feel like I'm being born into this person that can do so many things that I couldn't do before. It's life-changing. It's life-changing.


Hello and welcome to the CMC markets chart of the week video with myself market analyst David Madden Today's date is Wednesday the 15th of November and the time is coming up to 12 15 p.m UK time and the chart of the week this week is going to be the Ibex 35 or as we call it here at CMC markets the Spain 35 Look at the chart here. We can see that the Spain 35 was in a fairly clear and and obvious downward trend Since May it was in a quite obvious downward channel for several months over the summer period and even on the back of the Catalonium independence referendum on the 1st of October the market then pushed down here to a seven month low at 9,866 When a bit of stability was Restored to Spanish and Catholic in politics We did see the market push higher and managed to actually briefly snap out of the downward channel that I has been that It was in in in late October but then the but the gains were short-lived and the market began to turn over on itself and Then the global sell-off and equities that originated in Japan last Thursday as I'll brought the Spanish market under pressure Yet again and as you can see here now Spanish market is currently trading at 9,940 so it's not too far away has been eyeing up the October low of 9,866 Now turning our attention down here to the MacD histogram the MacD indicator We can see what this when the ibex 35 was coming off and it started to turn over on itself We saw a pretty distinct decline in positive momentum. So the bulls were running out of steam and Marcus started to move lower Now we actually see On the histogram the indicator actually swung to the to the negative side It's actually been steadily increasing since so the increase in negative momentum confirms the downward move in the actual underlying market itself So what this tells us is that the setters are now Are in control of momentum and the rate of setting pressure is actually increasing and because of that we cannot We're seeing no signs of this sell-off Letting up. So therefore we could see further the clients on the ibex 35 We are eyeing up the October low of 9,866 and should he move south of that the next potential level of support may come into play at the February high This level here, which comes into play at 9,637 and then if south of that the next big potential level of support may come into play at the February low of 9,235 Now that we've discussed moves potential moves to the downside Let's look at the potential moves to the upside should the market bounce back from these levels We could potentially encounter with some resistance in around this region here at 10,100 Notice how a 10,100 access support in early October and just north of 10,100 access support as support But the market was was firming up Should we move north and see a break of 10,100 the next potential level for resistance may come into play at the 30 at the 50-day moving average of 10 of 10,200 and 55 Notice how the market has has a previous experience of both acting as Support and resistance at a 50-day moving average and active support in early November When the market was coming off and actually quite a bit on a few occasions as resistance for the market was trying to push Higher in September and also October Another level metric another level to keep a line off or is going to be 10,375 this meant this price is actually in a round for both the one-day moving average and the Tuesday moving average coming to play the one-day moving average also has a bit of experience recently of acting as support And when the market was pushing higher and resistance when the market was moving to the downside Same here in October some these are potential levels to keep an eye out for to the upside should the Spanish market push higher But we are going to trade the Spain 35 or the Ivex 35. Please bear in mind tomorrow We have Eurozone CPI numbers out and I could potentially add some volatility to the market That's all all for me this week. Thank you. Thank you for listening and please tune in next week


People often ask me, how does it feel to have a false self? But you see, the very question betrays a misunderstanding or ignorance or inability to perceive narcissism as it is. Narcissism is such an alien experience so in many ways inhuman, outside the remit of being human, that it's nearly impossible to communicate. I don't have a false self. The false self has me. I'm a hostage, exactly like the Israeli hostages held in tunnels under Gaza City. I've been held for most of my life since age four. I've been held hostage by a terrorist organization known as the false self. It started off as an innocent game. I invented the false self as an imaginary friend and we both inhabited our virtual world, the Paracosm, and the false self was protecting me. The false self was strong, perfect, brilliant, all-knowing, all-powerful. It was my own private God and it defended me when I've been abused and traumatized in ways which are too graphic to enumerate in public. So the false self has always been there for me, always had my back. Gradually became my best friend and then, exactly like fake friends, it took over. It took over my life. It stole. It absconded with who I am. It became me. I've been replaced. I felt that I'm dissipating, evaporating, rendered unto molecules. The center was not holding. I could no longer hold myself together. Wherever I looked, there was the encroaching false self, snatching elements and figments and components and ingredients of my being and becoming me to my great horror. And yes, it's been a horrifying experience, especially if you're taking it into account that I've been four years old, five years old, six years old.  It's like being amputated gradually, consumed by a tribe of termites from the legs up. And you tend to vanish into a cloud of non-being. Anyhow, I felt throughout my life, I felt empty inside. I felt this void and all consuming black hole, but now there was this so-called friend turned enemy, the false self. And I've seen the enemy and it was I, and there was nothing much I could do about it, except just wait passively and patiently for my own self-consumption, being self-digested. And the false self was so, so way better than than I've ever been, so endowed with qualities that I could only aspire to. The false self was my dream of becoming reified, was my ideal self externalized, ideal ego externalized.  So it was a double yummy. I could gratify myself and my mother simultaneously. That was very addictive. And one day I woke up to find out that I will never wake up again. One day I woke up to realize that I've died. It's exactly like Kafka's Metamorphosis, the famous story where Gregor Samsa wakes up to discover that he has become an insect, a giant insect. I've become this giant entomological entity, the insect that was my false self. An entity from the future in many ways, a kind of artificial intelligence that is inexorable or pervasive and relentless. What could I do as a child but step back from my own life and relinquish it and just go on as the false self. And all that's left was the false self. I've disappeared. I've sacrificed myself, like human sacrifice to this new God, knowing full well that I'm unbecoming. It's not even reversion to the womb. So I'm going back to the womb. It's going back to the stage before an egg and a sperm have met.  And so one day I woke up and it was there, the false self, and I was no longer. And today my entire existence is through a glass, darkly, as if I'm beyond or behind a partition. A partition that is both elastic, infinitely elastic and adaptable on the one hand and on the other hand as rigid as can be. I'm only an observer of my own life. Mild interest in what's happening.  The voices become more and more distant, receding into a galaxy of deferred pain, dimmed and then echoes and then no more. These voices of reality, of the truth, the voices that introduce me to my shame, these voices are perceived as enemies, not because of what they are saying necessarily, but because getting in touch with my shame would be deadly, lethal. So these voices want me dead, sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively, metaphorically, but in my mind always they want me dead. These are the voices of my extinction. I can't allow the truth to penetrate. I can't face who I am. I can't cope with my shame. I can't be anything else but the false self because there is nothing left but the false self. The process of transubstantiation and transmutation that I've gone through is not religious. It's diabolical. It's being replaced by another entity, and that's why people who are less enlightened, shall we say, use metaphors such as demon position, or maybe not metaphors, they believe in it. The false self, exactly as Freud said by the way, is a bit demonic. And so I recoil when someone wants to denude me of the false self, to deny me the false self, to unravel it, to deconstruct it, to expose it, to bring it down to its knees, to take it down. Whenever someone attacks the false self, if the false self is gone, what would be left? What would be left behind? I'm not even saying who would be left behind because I'm no longer, but what would be left behind? Except the reverberations of abstract pain and shame and hurt, the bleeding edges of what used to be my personal biography. And people think that they're interacting with the narcissist? Never. Never. There's nobody there. People are interacting exclusively with the false self. When they think that they are out to heal the narcissist, to cure the narcissist, to take the narcissist down, or expose the narcissist, or attack the narcissist, or collaborate with the narcissist, or love the narcissist, they are sorely mistaken. They are in cahoots, in league, in a coven with the false self, fit for Halloween, or Valpurgis night. The false self depersonalized me, derealized me. I feel that I'm one step removed. That I'm at one remove from who I could have been, from the potential that used to be me. Never being. I've never attained the level of being. I've never become. But I used to be a potential, and I have a vague and dim memory of having been a potential. And yet the false self denies me even this. And I can't recall this potential, let alone realize it. So everything looks unreal to me. Everything is a fantasy. People say, why does the narcissist engage in shared fantasies and other such concoctions and fictions and narratives? Because everything is like that in the narcissist's life.  Everything is not real. And I am not in anything, anywhere. I am not. What defines me is my absence. It masquerades as presence. I can imitate presence. I do presence really well. I'm charming. I am intellectually stimulating, and so on. But it's absence masquerading as presence. It's totally depersonalized. I am never there, really, never invested, collected, never committed, never present. I've never experienced presence. The way I've never experienced love. This is no love without presence, of course. Now I realize 62 years later. So it's all, it all looks dreamy in a bad sense of the word, like marriage, surreal. It all feels as if I'm caught in an endlessly looping silent film or in the pages of the never-ending story. And sometimes I want to extricate myself, but I know that the alternative is infinite void, infinite nothing. The alternative is existing as a non-entity.  This is what, that's one option. The other option is to let go and to become this absence, to exist in it, to experience myself within this emptiness. As an element of this void, from within the void, and I can think of nothing more terrifying. The false self is my only firewall, my only protection against this. Of course, I will never give up on it and never let it go. The false, my false self is also a decoy. It attracts the fire. I don't have a true self left to the best of my knowledge. At least, I'm never communicating with it. I know, rationally, intellectually, that I used to exist as a true self before the abuse and trauma, which trust me in my case, were unspeakable. Before the abuse and trauma rendered me false, I used to be, I used to be true. I used to be a smiling, very cute kid, actually, exceedingly cute. You can watch the, you can see the photos on my Instagram. And then, I've been monsterized. You see, exactly as Nietzsche said, when you gaze into the abuse, it gazes back at you. And I was forced to gaze into the abuse time and again, too many times. I didn't have any defenses or any protections. I was four years old. And so, I became not me. Not me was better than me. Not me didn't suffer. Not me didn't hurt. Not me didn't bleed. Not me's skull was never fractured. Not me didn't have to confront my mother.  Not me didn't have to suffer to endure any of these things. It was a decoy. It attracted the fire. My false self is tough as nails. It can absorb any amount of pain and hurt and negative emotions. I developed immunity to the indifference, manipulation, sadism, smothering, exploitation, and torture, physical as well as mental, that are van de gang inflicted on me by those who are supposed to love me. So my false self became my invisibility cloak. It engulfed me. It wasn't warm. The false self is not warm because it's very alien. It's very godlike. It's very detached. It's so vastly superior to the child that the child can never really identify with the false self. And yet it's protective. It's protective. It restores calm, inner peace, a sense of impregnability and impermeability and invincibility and immunity and invisibility and omnipotence. The only tools imaginary as they might be against the onslaught of terror and horror that is inflicted on some children, myself included. Of course, as I grew up I began to misinterpret the false self as if it were my true self. As a false self is not false. It's really who I am. I am really, for example, a genius. And then I went around begging people to validate my false self, to confirm it to me, to tell me it's not false. You know, I was saying actually I'm not who you think I am. I'm someone else. I am this false self. I am really. I am really. Please believe me. How can I convince you? Let me know. I'll do anything. Just keep telling me that the false self is me. Because if the false self is not me, who am I? Where am I? And I deserve a better, painless, more considerate future. Only the false self can guarantee this. It's a kind of a defense force, the Israeli defense forces. It's a contraption. It's intended to alter other people's behavior and attitudes. I felt unlovable, dislikable. I felt that my destiny is to be constantly rejected. And I have been constantly rejected all my life. No woman has ever wanted to talk to me or approach me in any way, shape or form. They felt the illness probably. I didn't have friends and in this splendid isolation, I had to tell myself a story to make it bearable and tolerable. And the story was I'm so vastly superior that I'm inaccessible.  They can never have any intercourse with me, physical or verbal. I just gave up on belonging, on being accepted. I gave up on being loved a long time before. I've learned to associate declamations and exclamations of love with searing physical pain afterwards and worse. So love for me was an abomination, a threat. An ominous cloud which rains hurt physical scars and mental devastation. So I gave up on love. But I did want to belong sometimes. I didn't want to be accepted. And then I gave up on this as well. So I've always been alone in the most profound and existential sense, internally and externally. My only friend was the false self. My only friend was me. Bizarre dichotomy, kind of schism, multiple personality, if you wish.  False self always flattered me, always sublimated everything, made it socially acceptable, condoned, rewarded. I interpreted fear as compassion or bravery. So for example, if I was hurting someone, if I was causing pain, abusing someone, I may have felt bad afterwards. But then I interpreted this bad feeling, this discomfort as empathy. I said I'm feeling bad because I'm empathizing with my victim. I'm being compassionate. Or maybe confronting her or him was an act of courage. Having balls, whichever way I came on top. If I hurt someone and then felt bad, it meant that I'm empathic and loving, capable of loving. And if I felt bad and then felt good about it, it meant that I'm courageous and brave. You see, to be afraid is humiliating. To be abusive is condemnable. To be an abuser is to be a lowlife. But to be compassionate or empathic or brave, that's commendable. That's commendable. That's understandably. That is a source of narcissistic supply. So the false self helped me write the legends of my life, mythologize it in a way that would make me an Olympian God. Or at least demigod, a Hercules in my own mind, a Prometheus bringing light and bringing fire to humanity. I've always possessed an uncanny ability to psychologically penetrate other people, to scam them and diagnose them immediately, spot their vulnerabilities and chinks in the armor. I've always had that. I had no, it was the only way I could survive. I had to predict my mother and father. I had to foresee the torture and abuse, somehow prepare myself mentally, if not physically, it wasn't possible physically. So I had to come up with a radar, with a sensor anticipatory and predictive, a theory of mine, their mind, my abuser's mind, people who were traumatizing me, on a minimum by minute basis, hour by hour, day by day, for many years. And then I started to abuse this gift. I put it at the service of my control freakery and much later sadism. I used it liberally to annihilate the natural defenses of my victims, my faking empathy or understanding, or by demonstrating to them how I understand them the way no one else can. How I resonate with them. How I penetrate their defenses and get to know them. I became a soulmate, a twin flame or something of the sort. This capacity was coupled with my eerie ability to imitate emotions and attendant behaviors, effects. I had these emotional resonance tables, and they were also part of the falsehood. I knew that this is how I should behave in order to induce the false impression that I'm experiencing an emotion. I kept record of every action, every reaction, every utterance, every consequence, every datum provided by other people. I observed. I became a scientist of other people. I regarded the state of mind, the emotional makeup. And this was another step removed. It was further removed. I was receding even further into the penumbral resources of my tortured, sick, tormented mind. And then I constructed these formulas, impeccably accurate renditions of emotional behaviors and so on and so forth. And I became deceitful, not because I sought to deceive. On the contrary, I did not seek to deceive. I wanted people to tell me that I am honest and truthful, and my false self is not false but real. I was, I always sought the truth. I always wanted to be told that my phantasm, my phantasy with a PH, my phantasy with a NF, and that my virtual world, my paracosm, is not only inside my mind, which is terrifying, it means I'm insane, but out there. So it's not true that I acted deceitfully. It's not psychopathy. I did not act deceitfully, but I became deceitful. First and foremost, towards myself, deceiving myself, my own first victim. And so the false self grew, became thicker by the day, more rigid, more opaque, more isolating, more hermetic, more or pervasive and ubiquitous, more encompassing and engulfing, more surrounding and besieging, until I found myself in a prison cell of my own making. The false self has incarcerated and imprisoned me and held me hostage, kidnapped me and hijacked what used to be me. This dilapidated remnants of what started to become and was never given a chance. And that's me. That's my life, that's my world, that's my mind. It is a darkness and no amount of light can dispel it. No amount of love, no amount of caring, no amount of understanding even. Nothing can pierce this deep space. This outer world, this pandemonium, this bedlam, nothing can pierce it. I've had hopes that if I could be loved, things would be different, if I could be understood.  Maybe I'll be pardoned, gone parole or break out of this prison, break free. I've had these hopes. I told myself these stories and this is known as a shared fantasy. This was my shared fantasy. The shared fantasy is not about, not only about, or not mostly about, or not mainly about being loved. No, it's about being free. Love shall set you free. That's the mistaken belief of the narcissist. That's my mistaken belief. If I only were to be held and accepted and loved, all would be well. And I will suddenly flower and discover myself and erupt and, but of course, there's nobody there. There's no one there. There's nothing to love. And the shared fantasy is a fantasy. It is driving me away further from reality rather than towards it. It's not truthful because it's a fantasy. It's a form of self-deception and other deception. So at some point you say, that's it. You have to accept. You have to submit. You have to accommodate. You have to adapt. You have to embrace. You have to lay quiescent and wait. Wait for the inevitable. The truly great and ultimate liberation.


So, we're giving a talk about Ubuntu 14.04 long term, something, no, we're giving a talk about, not even that one, sorry, we're giving a talk on subtitling, on subtitling videos that are being recorded back there, for example, we are presenting work from a student project at Hamburg University in the computer science department, we tried to convince our students to present, but they were afraid this would be too late or too many people or something. So there's just one sitting over there, Florian, hey, Florian is there. So Florian is studying computer science towards his bachelor degree and together with five other students, five other students, they are working on producing subtitles or well, producing subtitles semi-automatically for C3 videos, that's the database that we selected for this task because it's really available, thank you very much to that. But of course, what we're going to do also works similarly well for other videos, hopefully, we haven't tried it yet. So what we did was we looked at last year's videos, which were transcribed, most of them, or many of them at least, and so we have the transcriptions and for subtitling, you need more than just the transcriptions, that is more than just the text, you also want the timing information for that text, so you want to be able in your favorite video player to load in, for example SRT file, that seems to be a data format for that, and use and click that in your favorite video player and then you see these subtitles or maybe on a briar display if you can't see or visually if you can't hear. So I'm kind of lost now. So we got the transcriptions, so why do we want transcriptions, why not just use speech recognition? It turns out that speech recognition is not very good. Hey! And now I'm very glad that I will hand over to Anna for all the difficult parts of the talk. But we're almost there anyway, right? That's good enough, I mean don't break it anymore. I don't care. The other way around, please. Maybe do whatever. So I think we already had this. The switching knob doesn't work? That's funny. It is funny, isn't it? So this computer has a demo prepared. We're looking into whether that's going to work or not. It's unlikely. Please, we had at least some slides. Okay. Yeah. Okay, that's, yeah. Okay. All right, so up to Anna. So, hi. Yeah, so this is our group. I think you've already seen Timo. This is Wolfgang, that is me. And Jonathan, Paul, Florian, Tim and Faiz couldn't be on the photo because I think he had to move on that day. So we had, I wasn't able to listen. Did you already say that? Okay, so what we want to do is generate subtitles from transcription. We need to align them, chunk them into subtitles and export them into whatever format we want to have afterwards. And our secondary goal is acquiring speech data because as a university, we usually don't have access to huge amount of data. That's the main difference between, well, huge global players like Google who can just tape everything you say into your phone. For example, if you are Apple, if you use Siri or something like that, they can actually do that to enhance their performance and we don't have access to that, unfortunately. So free data is necessary to actually have free software speech programs, speech recognition programs. So, yeah, you already went into that a bit. If you try to do speech recognition, you really need to do a lot of stuff. You need to know about the world as a whole. You need to know about what is the context of what I'm talking about right now and you can all do that in your brain because it's so powerful and optimized for that but the computer cannot really do all that right now. They usually base their computation on what sequence probabilities. That means we have a large, large corpus of data which says, well, this has been said, I don't know, one million times and so this is much more likely than something else that has only been observed once. And the problem here is that all of you use weird words in weird contexts and then the speech recognition just gives up and says, well, I don't know. And to show you that is a really hard problem, maybe you've been to the talk yesterday where Jacob Applebaum said, oh no, I have to remember it. GNU PG has safety faults and what was transcribed live by a human was GNU PG has safety faults and what he intended to say was GNU PG has safe defaults and that makes a difference. And so that shows that even for humans, when they are under time pressure to actually type stuff in, they will miss things. For example, that he said before that it is good to use GNU PG. And therefore we see that speech technology is bad at understanding what humans want to say and Timo will talk about that in detail and I can sit down. Yeah, you can sit down. So, oh no, there is no preview anymore. I was wondering why you were standing here. So as Anna said, speech technology is bad at understanding what humans want to say so that is a problem. So what we tried or what we figured out was that humans are at least relatively good at transcribing speech apart from that example that Anna just presented. But then going from these transcriptions to subtitles is still a major issue. So this is a screenshot I took earlier today from the AMARA transcription interface which is really good at the job, but the complexity of the interface is somehow clear, I think, that it is not really easy to figure out what to do. You really have to figure out how to do that and it is really hard to build a very good interface for this task of putting the timings on the text, figuring out what was spoken when. So it is really hard to build a good interface and I think it is hard to build an interface because it is such an unnatural task to humans. We never do this in our everyday lives. We never figure out when something was spoken. We just know what was spoken. So even if we tried to improve user experience for this AMARA interface, that wouldn't solve the underlying problem that humans aren't made for this. Humans are made for understanding, but certainly not for subtitling. So our idea here was to have the computer solve the unnatural part of the task and the humans the natural part of the task. So the... Yeah, I got all that. The idea. So what happens is a kind of pipeline that is very similar to what speech recognition does We go from the transcribed text and have to normalize things because as people transcribe they naturally type things like 431 before Christ or it might even say anti-domini if we are unlucky. But they would certainly not say 431B period C period unlikely at least. Then we have to go from the normalized text that we have got into more like a sequence of speech sounds like a f or... What did I say 400? F or something like that. Right? A sequence. And of course I hear most likely pronunciation there may be multiple variants that we want to track. And then we want to figure out of course when we have this sequence of speech sounds how does this align with the acoustic waveform that we've got up here that doesn't happen magically but it's a learned model it's learned from lots of data as Anna was implying earlier data that is severely lacking when you're working at a university that we need in order to have good models of how speech is being spoken of what speech sounds actually sound like. And if we have that then we get a pretty decent timing information that hopefully that's our goal. However, if we just follow this standard approach of figuring out things one after the other and then doing one big search over that this isn't robust because this search that we have to take on with all the different timing variations that could come up is just too large so what you do in speech recognition in general is you don't do a full complete search but you do a beam search and in our case what we notice is that the correct solution always falls off the beam. So if you're lucky it may work on very short stretches like one or two utterances in a row it may also work if you have very distinctly clearly spoken text so what we tried in a different experiment was looking at spoken Wikipedia data where we have the article and the text and people really try hard to speak exactly those words that are in the article but as we noticed earlier transcriptions at C3 are just they have to be done in almost real time so it doesn't work as well. So the approach that we use it's not our own, we just used it is to stick with the fact that people say more or less what's in the transcription there are some stretches of speech that are not transcribed this actually happens a lot for data at C3 it appears and also there are transcribed words that are not spoken so people just type anything and it just happens not to be in the talk it's quite funny to look at the data we all believe it's really nice but it's nice but it's not perfect so what we do is we actually do this word sequence modeling that Ana was talking about earlier it's not on like random or huge amounts of text but only on the full transcription that we got and then we do speech recognition on the full thing and try to find landmarks well we have a correspondence between the recognition result that we get with this very specific speech recognizer and the original transcription that we have and then we iterate over that in a divide and conquer approach so after that we look at the stretches between landmarks trying to narrow it down as much as possible so that only those two bits and pieces remain that we can't align to each other there is one problem that it's not very fast it's only running at about one eighth of real time so if you've got a one hour keynote that will take overnight which is quite long in my opinion so it's not real time anyway so this gives us this step will give us alignment so we know for every word the timing where it's been in the talk however we want subtitles not word by word alignments and with that I hand off to Ana for the next bit of the talk okay so how do we get from those aligned words to actual subtitles if you look at subtitles that's maybe more complex than you might think because you have limited space on the screen so you cannot say well I just put one sentence there because sentences tend to be really long especially in talks like this talk so people really go on and go on and go on and then they say and and and and and and and then you have a really long sentence the reading performance of the person who's reading the subtitle later on is also limited so you have to take into account what can be read and so we need to break up those sentences into shorter chunks and they must be somehow meaningful and we can see that simple heuristics don't really work for that if you know this is from the no no this is not the time for the video so sorry so if you want to see the keynote from last year again you have to do it online later on but this is from the keynote last year and this is what a simple heuristic actually did you see the subtitle here and it says well it kind of cut to me in a telephone and so well in a telephone watch so and that doesn't make sense but if you look at the whole sentence you see that it occurred to me in a telephone call and that makes much more sense so you need to actually get the syntactic information that telephone and call are strongly related and you don't it's a bad idea to have a chunk boundary between those two words therefore we perform a full syntactic analysis of each sentences that looks like this this shows the dependence of well each word to another word and then you get a dependency tree that's done by some nice program that does this and it doesn't always get it right so that means here we have to take into account that it doesn't get it right all the time especially because the sentences can be really long and there can be syntactic errors and so on and then we just search for the best chunking that is for the best split points in the sentence by defining two cost functions first by the splitting cost at each point which says well if you split here that will cost you 200 points and if you split here that's only one point and the other cost function is the resulting chunk length so if you have a chunk length of only two words that's extremely bad but if you have a chunk length of 200 words that's also bad you want to be somewhere in the middle and with this we actually get better subtitles yeah our results show debug interface can you switch to that computer? who does that? who's in charge of that? should I press a button? no no no okay so what you can see here is just the debug output for our system and it shows the dependency tree I think the tree is not really that visible so the gray like parts over there this is the dependency tree it's perfectly clear for me sorry and then you can see the different chunks and on the right not there you can see all the meta information we added so for example when does this word so the first here the U when does the word start it's the word number 29 and the syntactic parent is the word number 30 and so on and so on and so on we can reuse all this and we can actually jump between points and see why the system actually does what it does and that's important because we don't have a clear gold standard where we can say well this is wrong this is right we can only have a look at it as humans and say well this looks good and if it doesn't look good well let's see why this might be the case yeah and usually you would hear a sound and I don't know what but not today sorry the sound is there it's just not very loud okay if you want to switch back that would be great okay I think it's me talking now and we actually process I don't know several videos with it and it mostly works and we have to further work on this and I think we'll go to this yes is this your part? I think it would be but you so to sum up those results so some statistics on last year's keynote we have processed more videos than just this one so is this the five minutes before the questions? okay good thank you so this is some statistic on last year's keynote we get alignments for roughly 90% of the transcribed words so that's not all the words unfortunately we have some ideas how to further improve it actually we have a huge problem with applause which is very disruptive and laughter so we have the problem with applause that the first words after applause so thank you very much the first few words after applause are usually not correctly transcribed we know that from the data we don't have any good applause model in our acoustic model because so far we didn't get applause now we've got no thanks no need, no need, no no no thank you so far we didn't have any applause data so we couldn't have it in our acoustic models now we have data with applause we haven't really figured out where the applause is we'll have to do some manual work on that but this will help us to build better acoustic models that contain applause and to then further improve the transcriptions and subtitles of course so our current ideas are to kind of estimate the duration of those words that we don't know about again for the statistics most of the time it's very precise sometimes it's just totally odd we don't have any precise numbers on that I'm telling the students all the time that we need evaluation because we're doing scientific work I can talk all day about that but the semester isn't over yet we have more ideas we still need to improve chunking heuristics so we want to go to two line subtitles which sounds like a bit difficult but it does change the game a little bit because now you have two different kinds of chunk endings which need to be integrated and then there are all sorts of practical issues we haven't integrated with Amara yet in a suitable way we had promised originally that we wanted to talk about the process 31c3 talks we haven't done that, I apologize for that but we're working on that and some people actually need credit for this class so it will happen, I promise so for the other direction we were going for yeah, let's go oh, now I'm off well, whatever so we also want to use this data that we got for better oh, he almost reminds me of that now language changes are also a difficulty in transcription so the cable behind the back no, it's funny okay, no better? no, it's better, okay so we also want to use the data as it's very freely licensed to improve the open source speed recognition models that are out there you need lots of data because all those models are usually machine learned it's estimations on large amounts of data and as Anna said earlier that's a huge problem so far and it's much improved already and we hope to get another like what is it, 30 hours or so of speech data of talk data into those acoustic models which are freely available at Voxforge it will be German it will mostly be German it will be English but mostly German speaking English so that will also be an advantage afterwards for the English models for German speakers yeah, so that's one of the goals that we have where we think this is actually a perfect example where two sides actually gain something actually three sides because the students are learning something C3 is getting transcriptions and we are getting data so to wrap up alignment is simple for computers hard for humans and this is exactly the opposite for transcription which is easy for humans hard for computers we combine the two for best results then subtitling is more than just alignment because this splitting is actually very difficult yeah, thank you very much oh, no, no, thank you not very much yet so we have plenty of ideas for future work which also at least partly line up with the C3's ideas about subtitling I really like the idea of having very low delay subtitles so go from a few hours delay to a few seconds that would be marvelous and in that we could use the typing speed information because these transcriptions are actually made on aetherpads we have like key by key timing information and right now we're throwing this information all the way we're just saying okay, it could have been transcribed whenever but usually people transcribe in sequence and mostly during the talks thank you very much whoever is transcribing or might be and we're throwing half of your information away for the record but we intend to change that and use this typing speed information for the transcription process for the alignment process sorry about that of course if we didn't have talks but more fantastic videos we could do video analysis and all sorts of other things which would be really nice to have kind of built information retrieval content search facility where you go to the video directly when you search for I don't know what something say privacy alright, thank you very much thank you very much we're almost completely out of time and I wanted to ask whether the signal angel has one really pressing question from the internet because all the other people it would be so great if you could just ask directly so we can free the room again for the next talk it would be so great okay then let's have one question from the internet did you test it with a normal movie and some transcription extracted out of some subtitles available no we have not done that yet we intend to do that but as I said not all like our evaluation scripts aren't really done yet so testing it on those data would be hard I doubt that we would excel over like commercial services but we're working in that direction at least okay as you go please don't speak as other people are still here and this was really fast so we can do one other question there's one at microphone 3 hi okay so you fleetingly mentioned that the subtitles had to be readable which means that they have to be displayed for a long enough period that people can actually have time to read them and in classical subtitles softwares what happens is you map subtitles yourself and the software calculates for you and allows you to use a determined fixed number of characters are you going to do something like that or do you just plan on going on some sort of gut feeling of what is readable and what is not and if you are to going to do that are you going to have to actually adapt your transcriptions which happens in translations you can't actually keep the whole sentence you actually have to focus on some part of it or not yeah basically so first question whether we intend to do more than karaoke yes we do right now we try to do to get as precise timings as we can but then we have to think about the usability issue that we have to show a subtitle for a sufficient amount of time exactly I haven't mentioned that or we haven't mentioned that but yes we do intend to do that it's like an additional constraint now to your second idea of changing subtitles so that perfectly makes sense for translations I think and is vital there but we are trying to remain truthful to what the speaker said or at least to what the transcriber transcribed which may differ in those cases but so far I think that's beyond the scope of this current like little one semester project because we would need exactly the kind of understanding of what was going on in that sentence that we don't have in order to be able to shorten things thank you so much Anna and Tim I think you will be over there on the outside to answer more and more questions thank you so much for that and this is your applause