Boss Yeah, we on boss talk one-on-one. Yeah, we gonna talk. We're gonna have fun. We'll be on fire.   Check it. Check it. It's a unique house. It's your boy. He's CEO. I'm here with the lovely amazing official Mr. Mako, what's going on? Man, hey, man, we out here still in LA right on the West Coast. Yes, sir Man, hey, and we slid over here today, man. We got my boy. You know what? He's a therapist You know, this is odd for me because I this is my first time really Just interviewing a male therapist, right? Right still. Yes, sir. So so yeah, you're Taj, man I didn't seen you man.  Oh, yeah Yeah, I specialize in trauma. That's my specialization. What? What made you like get? Like what made you get into it before we start with that?  We need to know all about you. Yeah. Yeah So go ahead and let us know Well, the reason why I know a lot about trauma, obviously I'm educated But before that I've been through a lot of trauma myself makes sense as most You know black folks and people of color in the community have been through When you say trauma give me some examples on how old were you? I Was probably about four or five when I experienced like my first like shooting You know saw saw, you know, like a dead body, right? And you grew up in Compton. Yeah, I'm originally from Compton But I've lived all over LA at the same time. So when you saw that that was in Compton, right? Yeah, that was it first time I seen that I was living in Compton with my mom's okay When I hear about Compton, I think that that's supposed to be like a regular basis thing that happens all the time. So I mean It's it's frequent. I mean, especially at that time, you know, this was you know, this is during the 80s You know, I'm an 80s baby and it was like really turned up at that at that point I remember having to like walk to school and I was already aware of like, yo, I got to be careful, you know I was already worried about like, you know, if I saw like a car driving too slow or if I seen a van You know anything like that. I was already kind of paranoid and I was already, you know I'm like in second grade and did you have any older siblings or any other siblings? I might have some siblings, but they were they were in New Jersey.  Don't do that.   So my mom was always trying to work, you know She was always trying to give money, you know, she was the only person supporting us at the time and So I was always by myself. Where was your dad during this time? My pops was in New Jersey at the time. I didn't really know him at that time So shout out to Patterson, New Jersey, you know, I live there for a little bit, too I had you seen a picture of him. Yeah, okay. So you knew who he was who he was, but I didn't know him Okay, and he never called or anything like that. I mean To use what age? Yeah, I mean, I Think I first probably knew about my pops when I was like four or five Okay, and the first time you saw him was when That I remember probably like five Okay So how did you feel? Not having your father present because I won't say having a male person because you know You have all the males that might be around that influenced you, but it's a difference when it's your father You know what I mean? So how did it make you feel not having your father around at that age? I mean when I saw other people that had like their families, I would always wonder how that was You know, you know, I try to gravitate to like my uncles You know because I would see you know how my cousins had they pops or you know or other people because I mean I was surrounded by people in my in my neighborhood at the time that didn't have a dad's too Right, and so we were always just kicking it together. So after a while, it's like I didn't even know the difference right, you know, I mean until I Actually experienced somebody, you know Taking on and that's so bad about a generation because there's so many people we interviewed that is sit right there Where you sitting and I want to say it's about 80% of them don't have their father in their life growing up A lot of them just was raised by their mom And I always felt like especially for little boys when you're growing up You need your father in your life whether you need to go live with your father So he can show you how to be a man, you know, because when I start to look at you know, the psyche of well a woman Boys still need a mother in the beginning to show the nurturing part the caring part all of that But when you reach to a certain age the father needs to show you how to become a man But a lot of people don't do that because whether the father Have another family don't want to deal with that child or just different things And they don't realize that you hurt in generations to come.  Oh, yeah, but that passes down through him to his kids, right? And you know Obviously we all have our positions in life between men and women, you know, we all bring we bring different things to the table You know, as you said the mother is a very important part of the growing process That's what establishes what we call attachment. Mm-hmm. And However, your attachment is is how you see the rest of the world.  And I didn't really understand that until I went to school way later in life You know I'm saying but the the father definitely if the father is not present There's a presence that is missing, you know in the world.  So she kind of knew but again, she couldn't she doesn't know what it is to be a man Exactly, you know what I mean? Just like I don't know what it is to be a woman, right? You know what I mean? And I would never try to I mean, that's the high respect I have for women because of my mom and my sisters. So Yeah, but when did you decide to be? To follow this path because I know growing up as a kid Being a therapist was not in your No Like gangs or anything like when you first with you in Compton, so there's definitely you in a neighborhood No, yeah, and it signifies you pretty much. Yeah, that's the thing You don't even gotta like ain't gotta do many people talk about jumped in and all that No, you know, I mean these days it's like, okay, cuz it's like all right. Well, I don't bang All right, where your mama stay that's right where your daddy stay, you know And so where you at is that's where you that's what you had, you know what I mean? So I've been I've been around games and affiliated with games my whole life. Exactly. I mean so in different capacities.  Yeah, right, you know, I mean you step outside you in it I wouldn't what one was an incident when you first was young maybe 10 or 11 when you seen that the game not only was it games in their Neighborhood, but it was something that signified the neighborhood and it can get serious You see what I'm saying. Yeah, no, well, I was walking home from school one day and I Was walking with a friend of mine at the time. We was about I Think it was about 11. Yeah, and he has something on That I knew To get you, you know, not yet. Yeah, you know, I'm saying and I told them I Was like, yo men and shoes ain't ain't the business here, you know, like they had like I Don't know feels like I don't know. I forgot what the brand was. Yes under the CKB care I don't know if they were yeah, yeah, something like that back in the day in a day Haven't heard about that brand. I think because I went to school in a neighborhood that actually I wouldn't live in Yeah, so I was going to a school that was on the opposite side. So I Told them I was like, yo, that's Yeah, I think the business here and he was just kind of like laughed it off, you know, I'm saying and So when we got out to school, we went opposite directions so I walked one way he walked the other and As I was hitting the corner, I seen this car, you know, and had a had a bunch of dudes in the car and You know, I could see it was something, you know, when people looking for job Yeah, yeah, yeah, or even at that age I knew, you know, because they was looking at me They was kind of mad dog of me and stuff.   So I'm like, oh damn, you know And of course, I wasn't looking for no problems at that time being light-skinned. I am and just the whole racial thing I was dealing with enough exactly So anyways, but they kept going I can't walk They kept going but they were still kind of they weren't speeding. They were still coming look like they were looking somewhere Yeah, so as they was doing that, of course, I'm kind of like you know looking looking see which way they go and They pulled up on my homeboy on my friend and I didn't I guess they were saying something to each other. I didn't hear it. Yeah All I saw was a gun full out and They done him right there. Yeah, they laid him down.  He was like, you know, we'll come back All right, you know, and I ran over there and Glad up. Yeah, he was kind of just looking in the space. He was kind of seeing through me. I guess, you know And that was the end. Yeah, and at that time because I know you say you saw one at four But at that time at 11, how many have you seen between four and 11?   You know what just came to mind and I don't know why never thought about It before but where gangs are concerned you see a lot of people have seen people die and But then when you think about the military Who have seen people die and they come back and they have all this PTSD and all of this trauma because of it but you don't ever hear gang members talking about PTSD is like you have to be too hard but Mentally, I know it messes you up. Oh, we suffer from it, too. Well In America, they don't recognize complex PTSD, which is what is called in the world if you the they have a manual basically that's That they use in the rest of the world that has basically diagnosis of things, you know In here in America, we use the DSM Which is the book that they use to diagnose things in that DSM. They have what's called PTSD, right? Now PTSD is mostly thought of in the acute sense meaning like okay You go to war or you in an accident or some kind of incident happens and then you're suffering from that, right? The difference between the PTSD that we go through is that it's lifelong So that's why they call it complex PTSD But it's not recognized in the DSM yet, which is why you know, I talk a lot about it because a lot of kids Who let's say you got some kids that are quote-unquote misbehaving at school and these different things What happens a lot of times they'll go see these psychologists or these therapists that don't know the culture They don't know what we're dealing with so they'll be quick to give them a diagnosis of Something that's gonna stigmatize them for the rest of their life. Like they just misbehaving You know, like they got conduct disorder or you know oppositional defined disorder, which is like oh These kids are just criminals basically they just like being bad and they gonna break the law They don't understand that most of those things are symptoms of PTSD. That's not getting addressed. Yeah You know what I'm saying? And so they're messing up these kids lives with these misdiagnosis. Yeah, those diagnoses stay on your record For the rest of your life You know what I'm saying so that they label these kids when they not even really treating the thing You know, that's why some of these kids don't want or parents don't want the kids to go because they know It's gonna stay on their record and a lot of black parents don't want any record anything on any of their children's record Because they're gonna be labeled. Well, they they also paranoid of a system that's built against them Exactly. And that's another Hurdle that I come in that I come to you know to have to come against when I'm trying to treat people is you know The trust is not there.  Yeah Okay, so they more willing to come like open up cuz I don't been through what they've been through, you know Not understand you feel me and not many therapists are like that because when you seek out a therapist or kids Just go to therapists like at school. Yeah, most of these people don't understand even when you tell them What is going on at home or what they've been through they cannot understand because they've never been there. They can't fathom it Yeah, they don't know the culture. Yeah, exactly.  I've been behind the boards. You know, I mean I've been a victim and a perpetrator of These things, you know what I'm saying? So I Get it from both angles, you know, and so I look at it. I was like, well, what can I do with this experience? What can I do with these experiences? And I feel like God just bless me to say, you know what you still alive Go help somebody with those experiences. So how old were you when that was enlightened to you? I mean, I always knew at a young age that you know that I had a purpose. I just didn't really know what it was Yeah, I always knew I wanted to kind of reach people You know, I mean, but I Mean, I was I think I would say my mid-20s probably or close to my mid-20s where I was like, you know, I had just I was being investigated for a murder. I didn't commit that I didn't do So I had to go sit down for a minute, you know and fight that case and did you win? Yeah Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I didn't I really didn't do it But they put trumped-up charges on people all the time so, you know, and I've never been the type to tell You know, so they were basically, you know, like, well, if you don't give us information about this this and that You're not gonna see the light of day And I knew that they had it in a power to try to frame me or do whatever they was gonna do You know, because the things that they did have were like, oh, yeah, this could be him But they I just wasn't really there. I didn't do it. So that's why, you know, I was like, nah Yeah, do what you gonna do.  So it was a tight up You know what I mean? But I you know, I after a little while in there I came to some kind of Moment of clarity where I was like, well, God wants me to learn something here So I actually that night prayed and I said, you know what? Thank you for this experience Like I thanked him for being a zeal because clearly I felt like this is something I'm supposed to I'm supposed to be here and When I and it's crazy because when I started looking at it like that Everything started to go in my favor as far as like the case.  Plus I had I was a new dad at that time I had just had both of my kids and I Finally had something to live for because before that I didn't care if I lived or died I really didn't care about it because it was just me But now my kids I was like, damn, I gotta be here because I always told myself if I had kids I wouldn't go and do like what my pops did.  Yeah That's the good thing about it because a lot of times some people don't even ever figure it out.  How long does it take?  Okay, so That takes about a decade. I've been in school by the decade. So I'm finishing up my doctor. Okay. That's cool. So I've been in school for about 10 years Strong but going back to where you live in Compton being light-skinned as you are Yeah, I can imagine how much prejudice you are under absolutely I faced it from everybody whether they was my own people or they was white folks Like you don't belong nowhere. Yeah, I didn't really belong nowhere, you know Obviously when people talk to me and they was around me for a while, they all he's black, you know, but I'm spanish, too though You know I'm saying and I'm Native American and you feel me. So, you know, it was just always I was always fighting Did they ever try to make you choose like you can't be you can't be all of this all I want You got to be either over here over there. Absolutely What did you do? I eventually chose up.  Especially in jail. You got a Got to choose up, you know, I mean and I chose up, you know, and you know, no disrespect to any other Culture or whatever it was, but that's just why I came up You know, I came up around what I came up around. So I made my decision But yeah, let me ask you something. I see Pac on your Instagram And I know you got a history with pop.  I forgot what school it was I don't know if it was like manual or something. He was like how 13 14. I was younger than that. Oh Like 12 11 something like that So I remember leaving school with one of my older homies and we went over there And he was speaking to the school, you know, and he kind of walked off stage and of course Then the light is in there.  You know, and he actually talked to me for a little bit.  I've been in these streets for a long time Yeah, I called my first case at 12 years old. Wow I'm saying so, you know, I've been out here putting in work for a long time Yeah, so I was always around people that was older than me and at that time I was getting the chance to meet a lot of rappers because You know shots out to my to my big bro Kenny McLeod Kenny McLeod on the black hole studios back in the days and Who was some of the rappers? Easy easy. Oh, you met easy. Yeah, I met easy One of the first rappers while I met was easy quick bone thugs and harmony. Yeah Everybody has something to do with like roof list because they was always recorded Yeah, yeah, I met I had my first exposure with the Bay Area because of that The homie CNH. Okay. That was managing the loonies at the time. Yeah. Yeah, I met him I'm a drew down Drew down. Yeah, and this was when it was popping. Yeah. Yeah. The year was out Oh, yeah, it was like he was like he was popping at that time and so, you know Kenny helped let me hang out. You know, I'm saying, you know, cuz one day I'll just knocked on the door one day and I was just like yo, I heard it's a recording studio I always you know, was I was younger than 10. Oh, yeah, you just over there mess with a riding around in the bikes and One of my older homies had told me like, you know, they did music over there. It was on Rose Cranes So it was like right in the area. So I just knocked on the door and I was like, yo, man, I got $50 and I'm trying to record He just kind of laughed at me and was like, man, you know, what's it gonna be up here? I was like, I mean, I got 50 bucks And so he knew he you know, because we used to see them all the time So he was like, oh man, it's one of the kids from the area from the area He would let me hang out, you know, I'm saying and chill and be in the big recording studios and you know So did you ever see Park in the studio? Yeah, a couple times couple times. Yeah, most of the times when I ran into him, though It was just like I like it's crazy. I just see him in like house parties. Yeah, like in the hood He always come to the yeah You know a lot of people that I knew that was around so I was just always kind of intermingling, you know And you know when you see like, you know, I'm easy to remember Yeah, me so especially at that time I had long hair. I'm looking like one of the bone so You know, it was sub whoop and then as the years went on I got cool with his family, you know And then even after he passed I got, you know, super close with the family too, you know So I want to ask you about that like like when he was going when that whole Beef thing was going on out here. You was you was older than how was you doing that time? I Wouldn't know nothing right. You were no no drive, but you was in this you knew what was going on Yeah, I knew what was happening. Did you and and so The time when he when he got killed and all that and being that you was a big fan of yours How did that affect you because I look at all of these things because I know I was affected to a point You know to where I'm same age born a month apart You do you think about all these things, but you really knew him. So what did you think around that time? I Mean I was hurt first of all I mean and it shocked me because at that time I didn't think that somebody so big could be touched. Yeah, you know Which is I guess naive of me at the Benz, you know that young I feel like damn you a mega celebrity That shouldn't happen. No, or that can't happen Like I don't know why I thought that that can't happen. Yeah I mean, I know there's been other rappers before that like, you know When I got older her stories about like Scott LeBrock and people like that But I wasn't in that was before my time. So I wasn't listening to rap music at the time. You know I'm saying So two part was the first person where I was like damn you can be on top of the world and Because they have all that bodyguards.  Yeah, nobody gonna touch him. Like who gonna touch? You know me? Yeah, I don't know and then he I got shot before And he pulled through. I mean two part was like Superman to me. Yeah Even that week that he was shot, you know, we all thought he was gonna make it Yeah, of course everybody was thinking it and it even the doctors are like, oh, he doing better. Yeah, they played us Yeah, and And it just happened. I remember Theo was on the radio at that time on 92.3 to beat and I knew Theo too because I used to call into the radio station every day and He used to talk to me every day and I saw I heard him on the radio and I Just you know tear came to my eye, you know, I'm saying and I just remember him playing Stevie Wonder ribbon in the sky Yeah, so whenever that so whenever that song come on, I think it's What about it was it do you feel like it was a land-op person that they always say I knew I knew who did You knew exactly what was Because of the being a part of You in Cali you in the streets out of time, right? So it was obvious to you you can't you might have knew what was going on a little more than the person in Texas Right. I knew it was kind of happening behind the scenes. I mean, I knew a lot of people that were Actively in that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean So I knew I knew some of the little beefs that were going on some of the rumors and some of the things that are happening in the Street, so yeah, I mean it wasn't long before I knew what was happening. Yeah As far as the legality aspects of it Yeah, but if people try to turn to conspiracy and all kind of stuff But you being more tapped in would be here be like if something happened in Texas in my hood I'm gonna know. Okay. No, that ain't what it was. This is what it was. This is the thing It's like I think we talked about this off-camera. Yeah. Um, this is the thing This is what's wrong with us as people, you know And what's messed up about us killing each other the way we do is that it can be anything You know I'm saying so Could it have been a big conspiracy? Yeah Could it been over nothing? Yeah, but that's the problem. It could be everything Yeah, so whenever it could be any of that So when you have somebody important like that, that's a voice for a generation, you know And we got to have remember, you know, we got to show some compassion to somebody's very young You know, he's a baby 24 25 when he died. Yeah, you know I'm saying so he's a baby You know in the grand scheme of life, you know, I'm saying and You know, he was very intelligent for his age But he was lacking some some some life experience this just because why being wise doesn't come From being smart. Yeah being wise comes from age and experience and things So, you know, I think he just was a victim of his youth at that at that point But to bring it 360 to what we saying The problem with us killing each other so often is that when you have somebody important like that?    That's the reason to get killed. You know, it's a song That I included on my dissertation by Kendrick Lamar shout out to Kendrick. That's that's that's my little bro. Yeah Neighborhood is well, right? That's the home. Yeah, I've known Kendrick for a long everybody at TD actually from top all the way down You know I'm saying shots out the TD that's family, but Kendrick got a song called fear Which I feel is one of the best songs ever made well as far as yeah because on the second verse He talked about all the different ways there is to die as a black man coming out the hood The first part of my dissertation was based on that That I did for my doctorate degree You know I'm saying and the reason why I felt like that song was such a genius songs because again He listed like all the different ways that you can die You know I'm saying just walking home from my house for being somewhere you're not supposed to be at Somebody you beat up years ago that you don't forgot about Come back around, you know like And that's what's wrong with us and that's why we so easy to break up that's why our movements are so easy to break up because There are the oppressors the people that don't want to see us Rise can always use the same blueprints that they used with a Martin Luther King that they used with a Malcolm X That they use with anybody else, you know I'm saying they'll use us To set us up. How can we change all of this? How can it how can it change?  I got a shot them out too You know I'm saying people like the young lords who are the Puerto Rican parts of the black Panthers We have to get our minds right before those movements to work Because if we don't get our minds right and getting our minds right means dealing with our own trauma dealing with ourselves Being able to police ourselves You know I'm saying to to to have some kind of order going around You know, this is what Tupac was working on with the cold or thug life, you know having rules to even the gang shit You know I'm saying they have some kind of morals with it and being comfortable because what I look at is Being comfortable being led by somebody else Because you have a group of people and you could be the person who is the most outspoken one in the group But it'll be somebody below you who be like why he get to be the one who and start some problems And that's how people also get killed. That's the slave mentality, you know, that's that's part of our trauma That's part of our generational trauma. That's Willie Lynch. They made it like that on purpose They made us hate each other the whole colorism thing. Why is there a division between us light and black? Why they did that on purpose? Do you think they get in the field nigga? Like that's what that was for Do you believe that we're still suffering? Mentally from all the trauma that slaves have asked absolutely has passed down absolutely to this day There's a big that's a big deal. That's been the most consistent thing that we've passed down. Why don't why these white folks? have been, you know passing down financial literacy Been passing down how to make it credit all these different things. We've been passing down trauma After trauma after trauma slavery wasn't that long ago You know, so I get offended when people are like, yo, just get over it. It's been so it's been this whatever it's been Like, okay, you got grandparents great grandparents that could tell you about slavery right now.  Yeah, so when you think about that Is that being passed down from way back then? I think any traumatic experience like that as that's very traumatized into a whole group of people You know genocide things like that is always gonna be traumatic for years and years and years and years You're gonna feel the effects of that for a long time. But how many years like how long before it just it's gonna keep going That's the genius behind this machine that they've set in place and I respect it. I respect it because I'm gonna tell you like this They were smart they were smart and To be able to break that down you have to know it you got to know how it happened You know, I mean you got to know the intricacies that's involved with it the mental play everything that was happening It wasn't just whips and chains It was it was a book about it.   So it's like we don't got no okay go to college and learn what? Yeah, I always had issues with that, you know, and I'm not against college I'm not against it either, but I'm just saying they make sense for some some it doesn't some it's just it's a hidden miss Yeah And and the thing is is like the trauma is so diverse and how they've hit us Mm-hmm over these over this time that It's so crazy the genius of what they did is that they didn't have to be alive for it to keep going and you You know saying we're doing it ourselves You know what I'm saying? This is why we have to reverse that and the only way that we can do that is to sit with ourselves mentally This is the problem. We so concerned and rightfully so We concern with living day-to-day Surviving surviving and living is not the same. You know what I'm saying? So if we're busy just surviving every day, how are we gonna find a time?   That's a portion of it as well You just spoke on it early like all of these things these factors come together and while I you see all things happening in our neighborhoods, you know You know and then you see all the prospering things that's happening in the good white folks neighborhood because these white folks didn't Have that situation you go over there to grow more as grew grow my own that mall I was at was grove or it's a grove. Where's it mall grove? I think it's over by Beverly Hills Oh miracle mile. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Yeah, good mall, you know Where the good people at whereas I walk through there. I'm like wow, you know, you can tell that they they're in a better place You know, I'm being real like they don't have to think about some of the things that you had to experience They don't they didn't have to go through that even in other cities in each city in each state You can go to those places and see those good pristine people in those situations A few brothers and few Hispanics may make it into that area, but it's few and far between Yeah, and you know what that's that's what we got to change, you know, you know There's a lot of things that we got to change about you know our existence, you know, mentally financially You know, that's why I was such a fan of what Nick was doing rest in peace, you know You know at the financial literary Literacy aspect of what he was doing, you know, that's a part of this Yeah, you know what I mean and being able to rise and own your shit, you know, excuse my language on your own and You know, how did because you knew near like you I met Nipsey How was your experience with just Nipsey because you knew him and you guys Y'all hung out and y'all was in it. He was over there off Slawson sometime I mean I should be on Cranston's Lawson every day. So let's talk about it. Like like like how did you end up meeting Nipsey? I Was running with some folks You know shout out to my Jamaican partners You know I'm saying I was running with some folks. I was you know, we were strong in the game at that time You know can't speak too much about it. It's still a lot some people serve How did you end up over there like that's not the area? Yeah, no, what the thing is is that we owned a store over there Okay, my folks owned a music store called Westworld music. Okay in that same Parking set the same it was right next door to his store really before it was his store though before it was his store And next door to his store when it was there because I went over there It seemed like they was buying the whole thing. Oh, they did. They did buy the whole thing up and we was like I said if okay, so if you got the marathon store that was like right here correct I'm facing the marathon. All right.  It was a then after I was a cleaner somewhere right there, too Yeah Well after us it was like a fish market and then you had like the haircut.  It was in the 90s. Yeah, let's go and The first thing I noticed about has how smart he was, you know, he was out there hustling like I was hustling, you know and From then on we just again kind of like the whole park thing We just catch seeing each other because we was both in the street.  I wasn't fighting And he did to the same day so we walked out of the court building together. Yeah, you know said so we was We seen each other kind of grow up. Yeah, that's dope.  So he's always been a genius. Well, I noticed that in him So did you ever get to meet Lauren? Uh You know what I think I'll probably just like sugar and probably I've never actually like met her like that Um, I was cool with nip. That's dope. And it's bro. That's dope saying like pops.  So really me and nip had the Well, let me ask you this when the day when you found out that that he was killed in front of store because I remember that day Certain things you just never forget. That was the thing that was more publicized It was on TV. Like you could see the internet take things and they spin them and do whatever Like where were you at that day and kind of run down through their own on your thoughts on everything that was transpired I was in the car with my son. I was taking him to go train for football To a park and my cousin Roscoe called me my cousin. That's here And he was there. He was over there when it happened. Oh, really?  I like I could see him. Wow. I was just like I thought he was I told I'm gonna stop playing bro Yeah, I guess seriously stop stop it.  Oh somebody dead Whatever But he was like, nah, this is real You know, I sent my son to the field my son heard the phone call to my son new knit He bent to the store. He knew Sam. Yeah, you know and We just kind of sat there for a second like and you know, I sent him to the field and I just was You know, I was on my phone just trying to look up anything I could You know to find out if this was real, you know, and it was and you still didn't want to believe it That was that was a hell of a miss. I mean with with all the things he was trying to do You know where he was headed with it for That to happen and then then for it to happen the way it did man It's just something that you you you never would have thought that that would have happened that way That's the problem. We never would have thought it you never would have thought it would have happened that way and that's the thing like We got to start being aware of What's around us, you know, I mean we got we have to you know, we too good at killing our greats We real good at it. Yeah, like I could the list can't go on at all. Yeah, I'm saying And people are getting more and more bold Because even like in Dallas when Mothry got killed and it got killed right on the highway That's something that never happened. I mean all the traffic and everything. They didn't care. They had a mission Yeah, yeah for an area. I saw the pictures of it and it was like I was like damn That's like hopping out on the four or five That's exactly what yeah Yeah, I was crazy. Yeah, that's the same thing to rest in peace. Yeah, so you got to speak with mode three No, I know a lot of people that knew him. Yeah. Yeah, but I never had the chance to meet him. Yeah Yeah, very talented So when you look at just Getting back to nibble a little bit, you know being that entrepreneur spirit man I heard that they'd hope open the spot back up, but it's not in the same location. Yeah, they have a new store Yeah, I don't want to give people the wrong location. I think it's on mail rows. Yeah But I know he also they also got the dispensary in the valley. Yeah, it's still probably yeah I went over there To celebrate with them. I seen Sam. I was there. I seen Lauren actually that day. Okay. Yeah So I seen her there and I seen the sister there. The whole family was there. I don't pops, you know Yeah, shout out to my own boy George. He was he works for them still And yeah, did any more music come out after he had passed? I first songs here and there but nothing no project.  He was always well I know he got some shout out to Mr. Lee I know for a fact he got that because he was talking about another blue laces, you know He ought he ought of ticks.  Yeah Listen to the McAvelli album It was like the perfect mix of the commercial and the revolutionary things like he found itself Yeah, this is what I want to be. I want to be and look how young he was again Like you said earlier and in nip same thing like you listen to nips music right before he passed You see what he was on yeah, like you see he had like turned that corner Yeah, he like kind of found himself artistically and and he made the art match what was inside of his soul Yeah, I feel like he found that like perfect balance. Yeah, and so it was very sad to see that You know it's not that time. It's it's something else like I said, no matter how you try to paint the picture It's still you know brothers killing brothers man. Yeah still It's still self-inflicted a lot of times. No matter, you know, it's trauma and you know you being one that You know now you know, you got a thing where you able to speak to these guys, you know what I mean Yeah, and I think that's the dope part about it That that's the whole setup of why we do what we do is to be able to Communicate with our people in a way to where we can help us snatch them out the fire That's the only way to do it, you know, and we all links in a chain, you know, I'm not I'm not doing this To see the change myself. All right. I know that The reason why I'm doing this I'm not gonna see it. I'm not gonna live to see it And and that's because it took us a long time to get into this It's gonna take us a little bit of time to get out But you can't do it by yourself. It's gonna take a lot more people like you Yeah, to keep doing it and do it in other places to try to Minimize all of that, you know damage that was placed upon us exactly, you know, and that takes time You know, it takes time for those people to come together and it takes time for that movement to hit on a macro level You know, I mean on a major level level because again look at all the years it took to get us like like this It's gonna take us some time to get up. Let's talk a little bit about healing his gangster like yeah, let's talk about your program right, let's talk about the You know, I that I know Dame was on that series the episode one. I guess. Yeah, well Dame helped me develop it So let's talk about how you him even got to know each other, you know, let's see Let's let's get to the nitty-gritty, you know what I mean? Like how did you end up meeting Dame dad's name is from Harlem? Yeah, you know, he's not from out here You know where and but he came out here and I remember he was out here because I always been a big fan of Correct. I've been a big fan of his like I was like man Let's do right here because I felt like we've been in those rooms where he I felt like he stood for his people I remember seeing him on a panel where Andy Hill figure and Carl can I was that magic and he just Pretty much once he gets to talking. It's like he he like like he there for me You know what I mean? Like the things he's saying is it's really hidden on points to where I feel good about being who I am to see a brother up there Helen himself in that way So just give me a little bit of spiel on how you and him linked up Oh, well, you know, I had seen him in passing just kind of being in the game but I actually had really really met him through My home girl Brianna Brianna was on grown-up hip hop some of y'all that watch that show Yeah, who she is Me and her kind of came up together, you know saying a lot of people will see Brianna and they're like, oh, yeah You know Mary J Blastep daughter blah blah blah blah industry this she come from there Okay, she done we didn't hustle together all that you know, so You know kind of grown up like that You know, she knew what was going on with me She knew I was in school and she knew what I was doing So she would call me a lot of times to ask me things, you know, if she was going through some, you know I'll try to help her, you know, we help each other, of course You know I'm saying in a lot of stuff. So she's solid super solid shots out to her but one day I was driving home from a drop of my son off and she had called me and She was telling me about a situation with a boogie. Okay, it was Dame son. Yeah. Yeah, definitely and You know, he was having you know, he was having some trouble at that time dealing with some issues and you know, she was asking me about, you know, my input on you know, how to deal with it because you know, I was I could come from a clinical perspective and So we had a long conversation about on the phone. She was like, you know what you need to come help me and I was like Okay, and she was like no, no, I'm we're gonna bring you on. So I want you to meet Dame And I was like for so and she hit me. She was like, yo, you want to do the show? And I'm like, yeah, I want to do the show for so I mean, that's the plan I had anyway the whole time I've been in school. I always knew I'm gonna I'm gonna take this to TV because I knew there's nobody like me There's nobody that's from the hood that did this correct psychologist. It's not you're not gonna see it Well, I hope you see it but up to this point. Yeah You will be an inspiration to others once they see you on that TV that you know what I don't have to continue In this life I can turn around but people be wondering how can I give back? How can I give back? They don't realize how they can give back My life But what you need to also speak on is some people might not want to go to school for that 10 years Yeah, but it's the one to help people which can day. Yeah, absolutely. I didn't need these degrees to do it I just knew what my goal was so I knew that the first thing that they was gonna say was he ain't got no degree He ain't got no da da da and they gonna try to set me to the third group. Oh, he just a gangster. He on whatever.  Oh good looking out.  I didn't think it was gonna happen that soon. Yeah So, you know, I was still getting I was still finishing up my master's degree at that point Okay, you know I'm saying so I was really just starting to like get my clinical experience You know, so she came she was like, yo, I was like, yeah, I want to do the show. I was not ready. I was like, let's go. So She told me today.   Oh, of course It's the first time I'm presenting myself correct on a major level. Yeah. Yeah, so Yeah, so I did the show Yeah, I did like basically intervention, you know, and they filmed it. I was on TV the whole week. Wow So everybody seen it. So it kind of took me up to another notch Me and Dame kind of stayed in touch sparingly We shared a lot of the same friends. One of my best friends in this game is John Monopoly. Okay Yeah, John Monopoly for those who don't know is there has been the mastermind behind a lot of Chicago He was a mastermind behind Kanye West. Okay before Dane came and snatched him up. Okay, you know Or put him on I said, that's not as much as John Monopoly was there the whole time. Okay, so So he was a big friend that we both had in common. So one day Monopoly was here actually in this other room. Yeah. Yeah, and just here This is the Dame that studio where all that was being recorded. Well, the TV show But Dane was doing a lot of his work his work. Okay, and before he you know, me and him did a business Of course Yeah, and shots out to Dame because Dame is definitely the one who gave me the opportunity Yeah, but did he give you a good deal? Let's talk about see I go crazy a little bit like did he do you right? I mean, he did me right, but again, that's all I know, but you know his business He was like, yo, that's how much it cost.  I got the money. Let's go Oh, that's congratulations. You're looking so He was here chilling with Dame and Monopoly called me and was like Yo, come come to the spot, you know, Dame is here. I want you know, let's kick it So I came and so now at this point Dame just knew me as a therapist Yeah, he didn't know all of my history. Okay, you know, I'm saying he didn't really know all that And so Monopoly is the one that broke it down.  I was there already And whatever it was, you needed something that late. I'm either if I can't get it to you I know somebody I got correct. You know I'm saying so in on any level. That's dope. That was my job at the time Yeah, you're gonna make it happen.   I really was taking my profession seriously trying to clean it up I'm trying to be a better person. I wanted to be taken serious You know, you know, I'm a I'm one of the best psychologist therapists in the world and I say that Gracefully, I'm still learning. I'm still getting better at what I'm doing I have a lot to learn but I'm very confident my skill set and I take it very seriously Yeah, so I wanted him to take me seriously as a clinician. Yeah, so that's why I didn't tell him So how long now have you had your? doctor Well, I'm completing it now Yeah, I finished all of my I finished everything I had to do basically what I'm doing now is I'm putting in my like You know when doctors go to med school and they got to do their residency. That's what I'm doing Okay, I'm basically doing my residency right now.  You know I'm saying but So dame once dame found out that oh damn you from the street like I'm from the street Like it was on It was on from there. You know I'm saying and We became business partners on some things. We thought of healing this gangster together. Yeah healing is gangsta Like you know like that. I think he said it. I think he might have said it when we was like having a conversation Yeah, he said it. He was like, yeah man healing is gangsta and I was like Then the light bulb went I was like we need to put that on the t-shirt And then he was like no we need to make it a show and I was like, oh, well, it's on so we made it a show Now we this is history. So where can everybody see the show? Right now you can catch season one and season two on YouTube. I just started I just started the YouTube You can also go to dame dash studios. Yeah, that's dame dash's network Which he has a lot of stuff on there there and on to be yeah, we did some stuff with Fox to Fox. So Has some stuff running so But right now you can go to the YouTube or dame dash studios. It's gonna be coming on some bigger platform That's what I was trying to see and go with it. Yeah, I'm in negotiations with that I'm having some talks now. I'm just trying to do as much as I can on my own You know, obviously the more you're doing your own the more ownership you have is thing exactly so I'm just really on that right now Yeah, but you can catch season one and season two on YouTube or a dame dash studios You can cast the clips like on Instagram and things like that, you know, it's a real show We got men and women from the community, you know, I mean that that know that are like me that know this life and It gets deep man, you know, you know people cry on my soul.  It's not When I'm in therapy with a client, it's me listening and them really just talking to themselves Yeah, because there's a lot of things going on like with trauma PTSD these different things a lot of these things are unconscious But they're manifesting through the body They're manifesting through your behavior. They're manifesting through how you deal with people You know I'm saying like the fact okay for a long time. I couldn't sit with my back to a door That's me. You just that's most that's me. That's most street cats Yeah, but we don't realize that sometimes until later or why that is, you know Why am I always turned up everywhere I go even if if I'm in a safe environment? I'm still ready to turn up That's a problem.   How can I get away from this? How can I get away from that? You're not thinking about how these decisions are going to affect you long term So if that's the case a lot of people who commit as long as it was not premeditated But it was for the moment murder or any crime the user can get off because of Mental well, there's a science behind that because Again, if you're experiencing trauma or you've gone through something crazy Like your brain just certain parts of your brain turn off and this the thing when you got kids We're already getting a subpar education In the hood, right? Now when you combine that with you're dealing with young brains that are not set to learn correctly Because they're nervous about getting shot going home like me. I used to worry about dying walking home from school How if i'm worried about that i'm supposed to learn with this george Washington and But look how much has it it's gotten worse um worldwide Where a lot of people um kids are being shot up in school School shootings and stuff like that you have kids who and when I think about it Kids are going back to school scared because they don't know if that person's going to come in today and shoot up The school that has a Neurological reaction in your mind and so again when you combine that generation after generation you get what you got now You know what i'm saying so, you know That's why i'm part on this mental thing. I think I think I think it's dope that you you tapped and it is I think it's needed I think people um Can get help through you the hood therapist man a great name man We need it man. We need it man gang still you know healing is gangster Uh, I would definitely say man our people our children need that man You you're going to be able to reach people that other people can't with the statement you just made Uh, there are other kids right now to this day going through whether it be bullying or going You know walking home from school Fearing gang violence and all type of different things or going home You know, I remember being three and my mom shot at my dad with a 12 gauge shotgun or my dad basically was uh Abusive toward the children or toward me when my mom and dad divorced I can remember things like uh us being you know, uh me and my dad not speaking for years Because we we're having issues toward one another because of the way he was raised So I understand all these things a lot of the things to get me through though That have gotten me through has been god reading the word of god being able to uh understand how to go from faith to faith Understanding how to let go of things because the bible says if any man be in christ That's for me. He's a new creature old things are passed away behold all things become new. So it's a cleansing process for me You see what I'm saying? So those are things that I've read and things that we pray about and meditate on because that's meditation I was about to say that a lot of people don't you know, a lot of people don't know that like when you're praying It's meditation you're meditating.  Yeah That's what praying is that you know, that's why that's the path that god reaches you through Correct when you open things up Therapy is not the enemy.  It wasn't built for us But you know, I'm saying so I'm trying to redefine some of the things that I've learned from what they do but but uh Put it in the context. That's good for us Well, you you would be able to understand that coming from a place where we came from You know, you understand the hood like this other guy who might be sitting in that seat He's never been in the hood and he's trying to counsel you. This is happening as well I want to say that there are good counselors Just like anything else. There are bad counselors. There's a ying and yang and everything So that's the part where it can get confusing as well Because you got people out here who mean people they just they're for the money Or they got this title and position trying to pay back college fees I'm being real these things are happening all in the midst of you trying to help somebody from a play A real place. Yeah, so it's a complicated situation sometimes When you're on the outside looking in and don't understand how to get in and not only that right from on the client part of it Not everybody can afford to choose their Their therapist because it's just whatever my insurance company will cover and they're gonna send me over here Or whoever my doctor will send me to because I know some people who can't afford and they'll say well I'm spiritual. So when I call around I would ask do you believe in God? Because in order for you to counsel me you have to also believe in him If you don't believe in him, how can you turn around and counsel me? Right. So these are the things that a lot of people if they are afforded the opportunity to They should well a good. I'm gonna tell you this as far as the faith aspect of it A good psychologist or a good therapist No matter what they believe Should be able to enforce reinforce your beliefs.  A therapist or psychologist doesn't have to even believe in God to help you The thing is is that they it's not like they're they shouldn't try to make you believe what they believe right If you like again, that's like me working with somebody who believes in a different God than me. Yeah, okay What I'ma do is I'ma work within their belief structure. I'ma work within what they believe To strengthen them you get what I'm saying? So a good therapist is going to be able to treat some anybody You know what I'm saying? Regardless of faith, but if you have no knowledge about their type of faith, that's why you have that's why you have to have knowledge Okay, this is what I'm saying like I make it a I make it a point to not just know my culture Correct, I make it a point to know a lot of different cultures Because because if I'm trying to build some kind of communication if I'm a lot of things get lost in translation Between different cultures. You're right coach. You might have a hinduism buddhism Nawabuism Muslimic It's all in the hood. Correct. I see I see you dealing with Napoleon I told you earlier And uh, just him going through everything that he's been through including the pop stuff, you know like To be able to reach out to those people What's the and I know you don't talk about client Situations or but what's the thing that sticks out to you that something that stuck out to you that that really you didn't you Didn't see coming in in in your therapeutic profession in general or with just him that you're talking about just in Things that people he's dealt with Yeah, that's what I had that same question to what's a common denominator Hmm Nothing really surprises me. Nothing surprises you. I think it's because of my life experience correct because you've been through so much already Yeah, I know that in one second everything can yeah, and that's what makes you good at what you do But The way in which I want to ask it is out of all your clients.  But you don't know that your body talks to your brain A lot of people don't know that all right, so with trauma, you know, for instance, how does your body talk to your brain?  Yeah, that's because your muscles have memory Your heart everything has muscle memory. Okay, so if if your body remembers how it reacts to stressful events When you get triggered your body sometimes is going to react before your mind even knows what's happening So what I try to do is I try to connect people's minds with their body because if you listen to your body A lot of times you won't feel overwhelmed Because if you feel that tightness in your chest start to happening or wherever you feel it Some people feel it in their chest. Some people feel it in their stomach. Some people feel it in their shoulders like You learn this through there, you know, exactly what it is. So when you start feeling those things you you could oh wait, man I'm I'm I'm stressing right now. All right, let me I'm okay.   So that's that's really a common denominator that I see a lot Is that there's a detachment between mind and body that's why I say mind body and soul A lot of that come with age too because as as I can only speak from me But as I got older, I learned how to listen to my body There you go When you're younger you just get up and go you just do whatever you think you're invincible You're not thinking about nothing but yourself. You're not listening to your body Or if you don't feel like that volcano about to blow Right. What about What about marijuana? I mean, is this something that medicinal Yeah, they call it medicinal, but I mean for my experience I mean if you anything that you abuse it becomes something that's not good for you as well I'm being real like like most people will run around and say, oh man, it's cool We don't you don't it don't do nothing to you or whatnot, but then From my experience some of the people that do it Um, they don't be on top of they stuff a lot of times some of the people that are in Close facilities with me actually shout out to my people But it's just like and and I and it's crazy. It's a crazy way to ask this question because It it's a psyche too on your mind because you will be sitting there. Some people act high and act drunk Don't play you know, this is happening man People like to because I used to do it. I'm dead.  That's how placebo works. Am I right? Yeah. I mean this this is the thing I approach every client individually Okay, no matter what it is You know I'm saying, um Some people have more addictive personalities than others. Okay, some people are more predisposed to things than others You know what I'm saying? So in psychology, we have a term called adaptive and maladaptive. Okay Adaptive means that it's it's it works good towards your life And it's a positive thing Maladaptive is when it has a negative effect on your life. Okay, whatever it is Nothing is a problem Until it becomes maladaptive If somebody smokes weed, but they're on top of all they sit and it helps them. I don't seem people do it. Okay I got through my whole master's degree I know people were like I have ADHD Correct, but see so it helps calm you down make you focus. It helps me Zero in a little bit. Now, this the thing though Where other people Weed is not for everybody. You know what I'm saying? If if if you smoke it and you find yourself being lethargic you find yourself Uh, not being able to tend to your You know your business or your family and Stop or or get some help. You know what I'm saying? They have they have rehab from marijuana. You know what I'm saying? You know same thing with like alcohol. Yeah Same thing with like alcohol, that's the thing. I know some people who sip a little bit of wine every night You know and there's and it doesn't affect them negatively now. This is when you know, you have a problem It stops you from tending to your business And you have a health problem that's being exacerbated by this use of the substance. Okay If you can't if you can't stop even though this is threatening your life then You have a problem. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I agree what I'm saying So so that's that that's basically my answer to your question Yeah, to like marijuana or any drug now There's certain drugs where I'm like you never should do that and then there's the thing I'll cycle and you know, I'll cycle educate Everybody that Sex is the same thing same thing. So everything I tell you everything in moderation.  Don't ever start that that don't there's no good ending to that. Great. So, yeah, but weed has never killed anybody Exactly. And that's the thing we also got to understand that the government Used a lot of their their resources to demonize marijuana to target a certain Type of people exactly. Yeah. Yeah, so we have to be able to re-educate ourselves about things But just you have to know yourself But like he was saying everything if you overdo it, I would think it would affect you because even The people that I know who are productive smoking weed are people who will take two draws stop Do what they got to do under good the people who I know that can't function We'll sit down there and smoke the whole thing get another one smoke it again And then yeah, you're not gonna get no more hard They just keep going so yeah I didn't see those two those people too man. Do you listen to music, right? Top three artists of all time did or alive did or alive top three number one Number three. Okay. Number one for me would be two part two part number one number two Bob Marley. Bob Marley number two It's gonna be a toss up between Chade and like Anita Baker Which one you gotta pick one. That's a hard one.  I'm gonna go I don't know why I thought that you might have even said nipsey in your top 30 Yeah, no, I mean nipsey's one of my favorite artists. I listen to all the time. I mean again I you'd have me here for like a top 20 Because I I get seen I listen to so many different types of music. I love nirvana I love y'all love all kind of music.   That's part of the program because you got to know what it's like to be on both sides of that That makes sense. It makes sense But is that something that you're going to keep up all through your practice you're going to keep going to the therapist Yeah, well the thing is is like Again knowing myself I may not go every week But I'll go enough to to when I need to like Let off some of this. Yeah, because I take in a lot of people. Yeah, that's what I was saying Like when people come to you and tell you all of this stuff and they cry You're not just a Piece of concrete. You have emotions.  I shed a tear because it's touching. It's moving depends on the situation I mean, I've cried out, you know, when nip first died. I remember me nick canning and dame dash did a show about it and Shout out to nick I shed a tear. Yeah on stage live Didn't matter. I didn't care. I don't care because anybody that know me. No, I ain't no pun So I don't I don't think about stuff like that So if a tear come I'ma shed it, you know, I'm saying that's part of me healing. I have to he said a tear What? Well, I mean when I said when I say shed a tear. I mean, even if it's tears You know, I'm gonna I'm I'm gonna do it. You know, I'm saying I mean that's part Kenan cried on on his show when he lost his son. Oh, yeah, I mean why and why not? Yeah, I mean You know, but I love I love the transparency that a lot of people are showing in today's society because before It was a case where I mentioned christ So you're gonna go behind closed doors and shed your tears You will never come out in public and show certain things But I love the fact that more people are trying to be more transparent And I'm sure that people are not going to tell everything but at least they're showing that I'm human I'm not this is super super human person. Well, that's a problem. You know, again, you know Hopefully we could talk again soon because that's a whole that's a whole other issue, you know Showing too much emotion in the hood can be considered weakness And when you're in a when you're in a hood with a bunch of wolves That's real, right. You know I'm saying if them wolves think you weak they coming. That's right. That's so I'm saying so, you know It's a legitimate issue.  We'll set up. We we try to set it up to where we can set up panels where people can come in and ask questions That's gonna be some that like I'm we're gonna try to start putting that together about a Definitely by 2023 To where when we do come to places we can bring out some people and try to help some people I think open panel conversations is needed I think that's one of the big things that we can do to where people can feel like they get into be able to understand There's people like you and people they can get help from And and that it used to happen more like talk shows would do it or whatever But people are kind of not on that wave no more We got to create a different way to our people five people to come out and deal with us on that level Right down for all that and if somebody needed your help Whether they're in texas or wherever how can they get older? How can they um, they can they can hit me up on instagram? Tajay 310 is a te 310 That's that's that's my handle on all my social media. So uh, You know hit me up, you know, um, if I can't help you myself I could I could point you in the right direction, you know, a lot of people, you know, a lot of people hit me from different states And um, you know, I know y'all are legitimate going through issues. Just be patient with me because you know, I'm very busy as well So it takes some time for me to answer all those messages sometimes, but I do answer them And um, I will definitely try my best to point you in the right direction if I can't A lot of therapists are doing um because since covid I think it helped a lot of therapists Because you still you have to make appointments and you come in a lot of people are doing zoom Yo zoom, I do a lot of virtual virtual because I have friends who do that too. And I'm like, okay And I try to help as I try to help as many as possible. Obviously. I'm one man. Yeah, I'm saying um You zoom the room. Yeah, I do zoom the room. Yeah, you know, uh Again, it's just it's a lot because obviously you got like you said you were like a lot of people can't afford therapy You know I'm saying and it's like It's a fine line between all right. Well, I you know, I can't everything can't be free I'm saying so it's like, you know, and I try to help I try to work with people's budgets as much as possible A lot of times I'm like a lot of free. I you know, a lot of times I give a lot of free advice Yeah, you know the people, you know what I'm saying, um But again, y'all know where my heart is that if I could help I will and if I can't do it I'm gonna point you in the right way that can't help, you know, every state has some type of uh Uh therapist thing where they work on sliding scales, you know, I'm saying that are outside of insurance They'll work with your budget You know what I mean? And they you can't see therapy and it's crazy because a lot of the therapists like myself are in that You need to be inside of the juvenile facility helping these kids who constantly get in trouble. I've done that I'll do that. I'll do that to this day. Okay. Thank you so much for coming on the show man We love you brother for so Me and mr. Maker gonna ride which we're riding with you now. Yeah So at the end of the day if it's anything that we can do in texas But we do travel a lot and whatever we can do with it whenever you got something going let us know man And uh, we try to come together man. Thank you so much for letting us come into your place here in los angeles, man What's the name of this place, man? It's it's called projector space la Projector space la we in the building man. We had a great time man. My boy Todd. Let us in here. We here We got some therapy for free Anytime you can talk I was gonna ask you because I'm gonna get out of this but The more details doesn't seem like you're getting better when you give more details and conversations about the experiences that you've had Absolutely, I think that would that's what I was thinking about. Absolutely because I get I get used to being like y'all I'm the one asking the question. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So, um, it's it's cool because you know, again, I I went through a lot of that stuff So I need to unload some time man. I appreciate man. Take it man. Hey, man. It's your boy e ceo man It's been another great segment of boss talk 101. What a boss is talk and we know