Book 3, Chapter 3 of Camilla. This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Reading by Lars Rolander. Camilla or a Picture of Youth by Fanny Burnie, Chapter 3 An Author's Notion of Travelling The next morning Camilla, sad and unwilling to appear, was the last to enter the breakfast parlor. Edgar instantly discerned the continued unhappiness, which an assumed smile concealed from the unsuspicious serrute, and the week of delay before him seemed an outrage to all his wishes. While she was drinking her first cup of tea, a servant came in and told her the carriage was ready. She coloured, but nobody spoke, and the servant retired. Edgar was going to ask the design for the morning, when Miss Maraglan said, Miss Camilla, as the horses have got to go and return, you had better not keep them waiting. Colouring steeled more deeply. She was going to disclaim, having ordered them, the well aware for what purpose they were come, when Sir Yug said, I think my dear, you had best take Eugenia with you, which may serve you as a companion to talk to, in case you want to say anything by the way, which I take for granted. Young people not much liking to hold their tongues for a long while together, which is very natural having so little to think of. Miss Eugenia then cried Miss Maraglan before Camilla could reply, Run for your cloak as soon as you have finished your breakfast. Eugenia hoping to aid her sister in performing a task, which she considered as a peace offering to Indiana, said she had already done. Camilla now lost all courage for resistance, but feeling her chagrin almost intolerable, quitted the room with her tea undrung, and without making known if she should return or not. Eugenia followed, and Edgar, much amazed, said he had forgotten to order his horse for his morning's ride, and hastily made off, determined to be ready to hand the sisters to the carriage, and learn whether it was to drive. Camilla, who in flying to her room, thought of nothing less than preparing for an excursion, which she now detested, was again surprised in tears by Eugenia. What, my dearest Camilla, she cried, can thus continually affect you. You cannot be so unhappy without some cause. Why will you not trust your Eugenia? I cannot talk, she answered, ashamed to repeat reasons, which she knew Eugenia held to be inadequate to her concern. If there is no resource against this persecution, if I must render myself hateful to give them satisfaction, let us at least be gone immediately, and let me be spared seeing the person I so ungratefully offend. She then hurried downstairs, but finding Edgar in waiting, still more quickly hurried back, and in an agony, who which she attempted not to account, cast herself into chair, and told Eugenia that if Miss Margland did not contrive to call Edgar away, the universe could not prevail with her to pass him in such defiance. My dear Camilla, said Eugenia, surprised, yet compassionately. If this visit is to become so painful to you, relinquish it at once. Ah, no! For that cruel Miss Margland will then accuse me of staying away only to follow the Council of Edgar. She stopped for the countenance of Eugenia, said, and is that not your motive? A sudden consciousness took place of her distress. She hid her face in the hope of concealing her emotion, and with as calm a voice as she could attain, said the moment they could pass unobserved, she was set off. Eugenia went downstairs. Alas! alas! she then cried. Into what misery has this barbarious Miss Margland thrown me? Eugenia herself seems now to suspect something wrong, and so I suppose with my uncle, and I can only convince them of my innocence by acting towards Edgar as a monster. Ah! I would sooner a thousand times let them all think me guilty. Eugenia had met Miss Margland in the hall, who, impatient for their departure, passed her and ascended the stairs. The sound of her footsteps, the horror of her reproaches and insinuations, conquered every other feeling, and Camilla, starting up, rushed forward and saying, Good morning, run off. Edgar was still at the door, and came forward to offer her his hand. Pray take care of Eugenia! She cried abruptly, passing him, and darting unaided into the chairs. Edgar astonished Obed, and gave his more welcome assistance to Eugenia, but when both were seated said, Where shall I tell the Pustillion to drive? Camilla was pulling one of the green blinds up, and again letting it down twenty times in a minute, affected not to hear him, but Eugenia answered to the grove to Mrs. Albury's. The Pustillion had already received his orders from Miss Margland, and drove off, leaving Edgar mute with surprise, disappointment, and mortification. Miss Margland was just behind him, and conceived this the fortunate instant for eradicating from his mind every favorable prepossession for Camilla. Assuming therefore an error of concern, she said, So you have found Miss Camilla out in spite of all her precautions. She would faint not have had you know her frolic. Not know it? Has there then been any plan? Did Miss Camilla intend? Oh, she intends nothing in the world for two minutes together. Only she did not like you should find out her fickleness.  You may always take my opinion, be assured, Miss Linmer is the only one among them that is always the same, always good, always aimable. And is not Miss? He was going to say Camilla, but checking himself finished with Miss Eugenia at least always equal, always consistent. Why, she is better than Miss Camilla, but not one among them has any steadiness or real sweetness but Miss Linmer. As to Miss Camilla, if she has not her own way, there is no enduring her. She frets and is so cross. When you put her off in that friendly manner from guiding after a new acquaintance so improper for her, you set her into such an ill-humour that she has done nothing but cry, as you may have seen by her eyes, and worry herself and all of us round, except you ever since, but she was afraid of you, for fear you should take her to task, which she hates of all things. Half-incredulous, yet half-shocked, Edgar turned from this harangue in silent disgust. He knew the splenetic nature of Miss Marglant and trusted she might be wrong, but he knew to her opportunities for observation, and dreadedly she might be right. Camilla had been certainly low-spirited, weeping and restless. Was it possible it could be for so slight, so unmeaning a cause? His wish was to follow her on horseback, but this unauthorized might betray too much anxiety. He tried not to think of what had been said by Dr. Marchmont, while this cloud hung over her disposition and sincerity. For whatever might be the malignity of Miss Marglant, the breach of a promise of which the voluntary sweetness had so lately proved his final captivation could not be doubted and called aloud for explanation. He mounted, however, his horse to make his promised inquiries for Mrs. Madame, for though the time was already passed for impeding the acquaintance from taking place, its progress might yet be stopped, should it be found incompatible with propriety. The young ladies had scarce left the park when Sir Eugre collecting a promise he had made to Mr. and Mrs. Tyrol of never suffering to genia to go abroad unattended by some gentlemen, while Bellamy remained in the country, sent hastily to beg that Edgar would follow the carriage. Edgar was out of sight, and there was no chance of overtaking him. "'Luck a day,' said Sir Eugre. "'Those young folks can never walk a horse but full gallop.' He then resolved to ask Dr. Orkborn to go after his pupil and ride by the side of the shares. He ordered a horse to be saddled and to lose no time by messages of bitterness of which he had already experienced with this gentleman. He went himself to his apartment, and after several vain wrappings at his door entered the room unbid, saying, "'God, Dr. Orkborn, unless you are dead, which God forbid, I think it's something uncomfortable that you can't speak to a person waiting at your door. Not that I pretend to doubt but you may have your proper reasons being what I can't judge.' He then begged he would get booted and spurred instantly, and follow his two nieces to Mrs. Arlborough's in order to take care of Eugenia, adding, "'Though I am afraid, doctor, by your look you don't much listen to me, which I am sorry for. My not being able to speak like Horace and Virgil being no fault of mine, but of my poor capacity which no man can be said to be answerable for.' He then again entreated him to set off. "'Only a moment, sir, I only beg you, look, cord me of one moment,' cried the doctor with a fretful sigh. While screening his eyes with his left hand he endeavoured hastily to make a memorandum of his ideas before he forced them to any other subject. "'Really, Dr. Orkborn,' said Sir Eugen, somewhat displeased, "'I must need some remark for a friend. I think this rather slow, however I can't say I much disappointed. Now that I did not turn out a scholar myself, for I see plain enough, you learned men think nothing of any consequence but Homer and such, which, however, I don't mean to take ill, knowing it was like enough to have been my own case.' He then left the room, intending to send a man and horse after the shares to desire his two nieces to return immediately. Dr. Orkborn, who though copiously stored with the works of the ancients, had a sluggish understanding, and no imagination, was entirely oversit by this intrusion. The chain of his observations was utterly broken. He strove vainly to rescue from oblivion the slow, ripening fruits of his tardic conceptions, and proportioning his estimation of their value by their labour, he not only considered his own loss as irreparable, but the whole world to be injured by so unfortunate an interruption. The recollection, however, which refused to assist his fame, was impotunate in reminding him that the present offender was his patron, and his total want of skill in character kept from him that just confidence he would otherwise have placed in the unalterable goodness of heart of Sir Yu, whom though he despised for his ignorance, he feared for his power. Uneasy, therefore, at his exit, which he concluded to be made in wrath, he uttered a dollarous groan of his papers, and compelled himself to follow with an apology the innocent enemy of his glory. Sir Yu, who never harbored this pleasure for two minutes in his life, was more inclined to offer an excuse himself for what he had dropped against learning, than to resist the slightest concession from the doctor, whom he only begged to make haste, the horse being already at the door. But after all upon as soon as he comprehended what was desired, revived from the weight of sacrificing so much time, he had never been on horseback since he was fifteen years of age, and declared to the wandering baronet he could not risk his neck by undertaking such a journey. In high satisfaction he would then have returned to his room, persuaded that, when his mind was disembarrassed, a parallel between two ancient horses which, with much painful stretch of thought, he had suggested, and which, with the most elaborate difficulty he was arranging and drawing up, would recur again to his memory. But Sir Yu, always eager in expedience, said he should follow in the coach, which might be ready time enough for him to arrive at Mrs. Arbury's before the visit was over, and to bring Eugenia safe back, which, cried he, is the main point for the sake of seeing that she goes nowhere else. Dr. Orc won't be looking extremely blank at this unexpected proposition to still. Won't you go then, my good friend? The doctor after a long pause, and in a most dejected tone, sighed out. Yes, sir, certainly with the greatest alacrity. Sir Yu, who took everything literally that seemed right or good-natured, thanked him, and ordered the horses to be put to the coach with all possible expedition. It was soon at the door, and Dr. Orc won who had spent in his room the intervening period in moaning the loss of the time that was to succeed, and in opinion that two hours of this morning would have been of more value to him than two years when it was gone, reluctantly obeyed the call that obliged him to descend. But he had no sooner entered the carriage and found he was to have it to himself, then leaping suddenly from it as the groom, who was to attend him, was preparing to shut the door. He hastened back to his chamber to collect a packet of books and papers, through the means of which he hoped to recall those flowers of rhetoric upon which he was willing to risk his future reputation. The astonished groom, concluding something had frightened him, jumped into the coach to find the course of his flight. But Sir Yu, who was advancing to give his final directions, called out with some displeasure. Hello there, Yu Jacob, if Dr. Orc wants things to get you to go for my niece's in place of himself, it's what I don't approve, which however you need not take amiss, one man being no more born with a liver imp on his back than another, which God forbid I should think otherwise. Nevertheless, my little girls must have a proper respect shown them, which its surprising Dr. Orc should not know as well as me. And much disconcerted he walked to the parlour to ruminate upon some other measure. I am sure, Your Honor, said Jacob, following, I got in with no ill intention, but what it wasn't come across the doctor, I don't know. But just as I was going to shut the door without saying never a word, out he pops and runs upstairs again, so I only got in to see if something had hurt him, but I can't find nothing of no sort. Then put into the door and looking sagaciously. Place, Your Honor, he continued. But there, say, it's only some man got in to his brain from over-reading and writing. For all the maids think he'll soon be cracked. That's very wrong of them, Jacob, and I desire you'll tell them they must not think any such thing. Why, Your Honor, don't know half, or you'd be afraid, too, said Jacob, lowering his voice. He's like nothing you ever see. He won't let a chair nor a table be dusted in his room, though they are covered over with cobwebs, because he says it takes him such a time to put his things to rights again. Though all the while what he calls being to rights is just the contrary, for it's a mere higgledy-piggledy one thing heaped out top of the other as if he did it for fun. The baronet gravely answered that if there were not the proper shelves for his books he would order more. Why, Your Honor, that's not the quarter, as I tell you. Why, when they're cleaning out his room if they happen to but to sweep away a bit of paper as big as my hand, he'll make believe they've done him as much mischief as if they'd stolen a thousand pound. It would make Your Honor stare to hear him. Mary says she's sure he's never been quite right ever since he come to the house. But I desire you to tell Mary I don't approve of that opinion. Dr. Orpone is one of the first scholars in the world, as I am credibly informed and I beg you all respect him accordingly. Why, Your Honor, if it ain't knowing to something of that sort why does he behave so unaccountable? I myself heard him making such a noise at the maids one day that I spoke to Mary afterwards and asked her what was the matter. Lord, nobody knows, says she. But here's the doctor been all in a huff again. I was just a dust in his desk, says she. And so I happened to wipe down a little bundle of papers, all nothing but mere scraps, and he took on as if they'd been so many guineas, says she. And he kept me there for an hour looking for them and scolding and telling such a heap of fibs that if he was not out of his head would be a shame for a gentleman to say, says she. Five, five, Jacob, and tell Mary, five, two. He's a very learned gentleman and no more a storyteller than I myself, which God forbid. Why, Your Honor, how could this here be true? He told the maids how they had undone him and they like only because of their throwing down a few bits of papers. Though they are ready to make oath, they picked them up almost every one and that they were all of a crump and of no manner of use. Well, well, say no more about it, good Jacob, but go and give my compliments to Dr. Orkburn and ask him what's the reason of his changing his mind. I mean, provide it's no secret. Jacob returned in two minutes with uplifted hands and eyes. Your Honor, Criddy, now you'll belay me another time. He's worse than ever and I'll be bound he'll break out before another quarter. Why, what's the matter? Why, as sure as I'm here, he's getting together ever so many books and stuff in his pockets and cramming them under his arms just if he was a porter and when I gave him Your Honor's message I suppose it put him out for he said don't hurry me, sir, I'm coming making believe as if he was only preparing for going out in the stead of making that fool of himself. Sir, you've now really alarmed by the not mention the matter to anyone and was going upstairs himself when he saw Dr. Auckland heavily laden with books in each hand and bulging from both coat pockets slowly and carefully coming down. Bless me, Criddy, rather fearfully. My dear, sir, what are you going to do with all that library? Dr. Auckland wishing him good morning without attending to his question, proceeding to the carriage, calling to Jacob who's to the loo to make haste open the door. Jacob obeyed but with a significant look at his master that said, You'll say how it is, sir. Sir, you, following him gently put his hand upon his shoulder and mildly said my dear friend to be sure you know best but I don't see the use of loading yourself in that manner for nothing. It is a great loss of time, sir to travel without books answered the doctor quietly arranging them in the coach. Travel, my good friend, why you don't call it traveling to go four or five miles? Why if you had known me before my fall, however I don't mean to make any comparisons due gentlemen scholars being no particular good horsemen. However, if you were to go one hundred miles instead of four or five you could not get through more than one of those books. But as you please, unless you skip half which I suppose you solid heads lead to the lower Ignoramusus. It is not for reading, sir, that I take all these books but merely to look into there are many of them I shall never read in my life but I shall want them all. Sir, you've now stared with increased perplexity but Dr. Orkman as eager to go since his books were to accompany him as before to stay told Jacob to bid the coachman make haste. Jacob looked at his master who ordered him to mount his mare and the carriage drew off. The baronet in some uneasiness seated himself in the hall to ruminate upon what he had just heard. The quietness and usual manner of speaking and looking of Dr. Orkman which he had remarked removed any immediate apprehensions from the assertions of Jacob and Mary but still he did not like his suggestion and the carrying off of so many books when he acknowledged he did not mean to read one of them, disturbed him. In every shadow of perplexity his first wish was to consult with his brother and if he had not parted with both his carriages he would instantly have set off for Etherington. He sent however in express to Mr. Tirold begging to see him at Cleves with all speed. End of Chapter 3 Read by Lars Rolander Book 3, Chapter 4 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burnie Chapter 4 An Internal Detection When the chess drew from Cleves Park all attempt at any disguise was over with Camilla who alive only the horror of appearing ungrateful to Edgar wept without control and leaning back in the carriage and treated Eugenia to dispense with all conversation. Eugenia filled with pity wandered but complied and they traveled near four miles in silence when perceiving over the paling ground a paddock Mrs. Arlbury and a party of company. Camilla dried her eyes and prepared for her visit of which the impetuosity of her feelings had retarded all previous consideration. Eugenia with true concern saw the unfitness of her sister to appear and proposed walking the rest of the way hoping that a little air and exercise might compose her spirits. She agreed they alighted and bidding the footmen keep with the carriage which they ordered should drive slowly behind they proceeded gently arm in arm along a clean raised bank by the side of the road with a pace shooting at once the infirmity of Eugenia and the wish of delay in Camilla. The sound of voices reached them from within the paddock though a thick shrubbery prevented their seeing the interlocutors. Can you make out the arms? said one. No, answered another but I can see the postillian slavery and I am certain it's Suriub Tirols. Then it is not coming hither said the third voice which they recollected for Mrs. Arlbury's. We don't visit though I should not dislike to see the old baronet they tell me he's a humorist and I have a taste for all oddities but then he has a house full of females and females I never admit in the morning except when I have secured some men to take the entertaining them of my hands. Wither is Bellamy running? cried another voice. He's off without a word. Gone in hopes of a recounter I doubt not answered Mrs. Arlbury he made palpably aim lots of cleaves at the ball. Eugenia now grew uneasy. Let us be quick she whispered and enter the house. Divinities Lord are they divinities said a girlish female voice. Pray how old are they? I fancy about seventeen. Seventeen gracious I thought they'd be quite young I wonder they ain't married. I presume then you intend to be more expeditious said another whose voice spoke him to be General Kinsale. Gracious I hope so for I hate an old bride I'll never marry at all if I stay till I am eighteen. A story goes about said the general that Sir U. Tirold has selected one of his nieces for his sole heiress but no two people agree which it is they have asserted it of each. I was mightily taken with one of the girls said Mrs. Arbery there was something so pleasant in her looks and manner that I even felt inclined to forgive her being younger and prettier than myself but she turned out also to be more whimsical and that there was no enduring. Camilla extremely ashamed was now upon the point of begging Eugenia to return when a new speech seized all her attention. Do you know General when that beautiful automaton Miss Lindmer is to marry young Mandelbert? Immediately I understand I'm told he has fitted up his house very elegantly for her reception. A deep sigh escaped Camilla at such publicity in the report and belief of the engagement of Edgar with her cousin and brought with it a consciousness too strong for any further self-disguise that her distress flowed not all from an unjust accusation. The sound alone of the union struck as a dagger at her heart and told her incontrovertibly who was its master. Her sensations were now most painful.  She consented and begged to pass a few minutes there alone. Eugenia therefore stayed without walking slowly upon the bank. Camilla, getting into the carriage pulled up the blinds and no longer self-deceived lamented in a new burst of sorrow her unhappy fate and unprobitious attachment.  She gave herself up as loss to all personal felicity but hoped she had discovered the tendency of her affliction in time to avoid the dangers and the errors to which it might lead. She determined to struggle without cessation for the conquest of a partiality she deemed intrigiary to indulge and to appease any pain she now blushed to have cause to Indiana by strictly following the heart prescription of Miss Marglund and the obvious opinion of Eugenia in shunning the society and no longer coveting the approbation of Edgar. Such, my dear father, she cried, would be your lesson if I dared consult you. Such, my most honoured mother would be your conduct if thus cruelly situated. This thought thrilled through every vein with pleasure in a sense of filial desert and her sole desire was to return immediately to those incomparable parents under whose roof she had experienced nothing but happiness and in whose bosoms she hoped to bury every tumultuous disturbance.  He advanced suddenly towards her by a short cut from the paddock of which she was not aware when she was about twenty yards from the shares. She made an effort to avoid him but he planted himself in the way of her retreat, though with an air of supplication with which she'd throw in vain to be angry. He warmly represented the cruelty of thus flying him and treated but the privilege of addressing her as a common acquaintance and promised upon that condition to submit unmermering to her rejection. Eugenia, though in secret she thought this request but equitable, made him no answer. Oh, madam, he cried, what have I not suffered since your barbarous letter? Why will you be so amiable yet so inexorable? She attempted to quicken her pace but again in the same manner stopping her, he exclaimed.  I ask not now for favour or encouragement. I know my hard doom. I ask only to converse with you, though alas it was by conversing with you, I lost my heart. Eugenia felt softened and her countenance which had forfeited nothing of expression, though nothing of beauty soon should bellamy his advantage. He pursued it eagerly, depicted his passion, deprecated her severity, extolled her virtues and accomplishments, and bewailed his unhappy hopeless flame. Eugenia, knowing that all she said and believing that all she heard issued from the fountain of truth, became extremely distressed. Let me pass, I conjure and do not take it ill but I cannot hear you any longer. The vivacity of bright hope flashed into the sparkling eyes of bellamy at so gentle a remonstrance, and in treatise for lenity, declarations of passion, professions of submission, and practice of resistance assailed the young Eugenia with a rapidity that confounded her. She heard him with scarce any opposition, from a fear of irritating his feelings joined to juvenile embarrassment, how to treat with more severity so sincere and so humble a supplyan. From this situation to the extreme provocation of bellamy she was relieved by the appearance of Major Servod, who having observed from the paddock the slow motion of the carriage had come forth to find out the cause. Eugenia ceased the moment of interruption to press forward and make the call to her sister already mentioned. Bellamy no longer venturing to stop her, he handed her therefore to the chairs, where Major Servod also paid his compliments to the two ladies, and hearing they were going to the seat of Mrs. Arlbury with her, Camilla now forced herself, though more unwillingly than ever he ran on with Bellamy to be ready to hand them from the carriage. They were soon into a parlour while a Servant went into the garden to call her. This interval was not neglected by either of the gentlemen, for Bellamy was scarce more eager to engage the attention of Eugenia than the Major to force that of Camilla. By Lionel he had been informed she was heiress of Cleves. He deemed therefore the opportunity by no means to be thrown away of making what he believed required opportunity alone, a conquest of her young heart, accustomed to think as always welcome to the fair. He construed her sadness into softness, and imputed her silence to the confusing impression made upon an inexperienced rural beauty, by the first acid duties of a man of figure and gallantry. In about a quarter of an hour the Servant of Mrs. Arlbury slowly returned, and with some hesitation said his lady was not at home. The gentlemen looked provoked, and Camilla and Eugenia much disconcerted at so evident the denial, left their names and returned to their carriage. The journey back to Cleves was mute and ejected. Camilla was shocked at the conscious state of her own mind, and Eugenia was equally pensive. She began to think with anxiety of a contract with a person fully unknown, and to consider the passion and constancy of Bellamy as the emanations of a truly elevated mind, and meriting her most serious gratitude. At the hall door they were eagerly met by Sir Eug, who, with infinite surprise, inquired where they had left Dr. Orkborn. Dr. Orkborn? They repeated. We have not even seen him. Not seen him? Did he not come to fetch you? No, sir. Mr. Orlbury is on purpose, and what he stays for at that ladies now you are both come away is a thing I can't pretend to judge of, unless he has stopped to read one of those books he took with him, which is what I dare say is the case. He cannot be of Mrs. Orlbury, sir, said Eugenia, for we have but this moment left her house. He must be there, my dear girls, for he is nowhere else. I saw him set out which, however, I shan't mention the particulars of having sent for my brother whom I expect every minute. Then they concluded he had gone by another road, as there were two ways to the grove. Edgar did not return to Cleves till the family were assembling to dinner. His visit to Mrs. Nedham had occasioned him a new disturbance. She had rallied him upon the general rumour of his approaching marriage, and his confusion from believing his partiality for Camilla detected was construed into confirmation of the report concerning Indiana. His disavowal was rather serious than strong, and involuntarily mixed with such warm evlogiums of the object he imagined to be meant, that Mrs. Nedham, who had only named a certain fair one at Cleves, laughed at his denial and thought the engagement undoubted. With respect to his enquiries relative to Mrs. Arlbury, Mrs. Nedham said that she was a woman far more agreeable to the men than to her own sex, that she was full of caprice, coquetry, and singularity. Yet, though she abused the gift, she possessed an excellent and uncommon understanding. She was guilty of no vices but utterly careless of appearances, and though her character was fully unimpeached, she had offended or frightened almost all the country around by a willful strangeness of behavior, resulting from an undaunted determination to follow in everything the bent of her own humor. Edgar justly deemed this a dangerous acquaintance for Camilla, whose natural thoughtlessness and vivacity made him dread the least imprudence in the connections she might form. Yet, as the reputation of Mrs. Arlbury was unsullied, he felt how difficult would be the task of demonstrating the perils he feared. Sir Eub during the dinner was exceedingly disturbed. What Dr. Orkborn can be doing with himself, said he, is more than any man can tell, for he certainly would not stay at the ladies when he found you were both come away, so that I begin to think it's ten to one, but he's gone nobody knows where, for why else should he take all those which is a thing I have been thinking of ever since, especially as he owned himself, he should never read one half of them. If he has taken something amiss, I am very ready to ask his pardon, though what it can be, I don't pretend to guess. Miss Marglen said he was so often doing something or other that was ill-bred, that she was not at all surprised he should stay out at dinnertime. He had never yet fetched her a chair, nor opened for her, since he came to the house, so that she did not know what was too bad to expect. As they were rising from the table, a note arrived from Mr. Tirold, with an excuse that important business would prevent his coming to Cleves till the next day. Camilla then begged permission to go in the sheist that was to fetch him, flattering herself something might occur to detain her when at Ethering-Tom. Sir Eugre readily assented, and composing himself for his afternoon nap, decide to be waked if Dr. Orkbon came back. All now left the room except Camilla, who taking up a book stood still at the window, till she was aroused by the voice of Edgar, who from the park asked her what she was reading. She turned over the leaves ashamed at the question to look for the title. She had held the book mechanically, and knew not what it was. He then produced the promised nose-gay which had been brought by his gardener during her excursion. She softly lifted up the sash pointing to her sleeping uncle. He gave it her with a silent little bow and walked away, much disappointed to miss an opportunity from which she had hoped for some explanation. She held it in her hand some time, scarcely sensible she had taken it, till presently she saw her spidewed with her falling tears. She shook them off and pressed the nose-gay to her bosom. This at least, she cried, I may accept, for it was offered me before that barbarous attack. Ah, they know not the innocence of my regard, or they would not so wrong it. The universe could not tempt me to injure my cousin, though it is true I have valued the kindness of Edgar, and I must always value it. These flowers are more precious to me, coming from his hands and reared in his grounds than all the gems of the east could be from any other possessor. But where is the guilt of such a preference, and who that knows him could help feeling it?  I mean provided he has really gone away, which however I hope not, but I think by his bringing down all those books, he meant to give me a broad hint that he had got no proper bookcase to keep them in, which the maids as good as think too. Then calling upon Camilla, he asked if she was not of that opinion. Yes, sir, she hesitatingly answered. Well then, my dear, if you all think the same, I'll give orders immediately for getting the better of the fault. Miss Marglenn curious to know how Camilla was detained, now re-entered the room. Struck with the fond and melancholy air with which she was bending over her nose-gay, she abruptly demanded, Pray, where might you get those flowers? Covered with shame she could make no answer. Oh, Miss Camilla, Miss Camilla ought not those flowers to belong to Miss Linnmere. Mr. Mandelbert had promised me them yesterday morning, answered she in a voice scarce audible. And is that fair, ma'am? Can you reckon int honorable? I'll be judged by Sir Juge himself. Do you think it right, sir, that Miss Camilla should accept nose-gays every day from Mr. Mandelbert, when her cousin has had never won at all? Why, it is not her fault, you know, Miss Marglenn, if young Mr. Mandelbert chooses to give them to her. However, if that vexes Indiana, I'm sure my niece will make them over to her with the greatest pleasure, for I never knew the thing she would not part with, much more a mere little smell at the nose, which, whether one has it or not, can't much matter after it's over. Miss Marglenn now exultingly held out her hand. The decision was obliged to be prompt. Camilla delivered up the flowers and ran into her own room. The sacrifice, cried she, is now complete. Edgar will conclude I hate him and believe Indiana loves him. No matter, it is fitting he should think both. I will be steady this last evening, and tomorrow I will quit this fatal roof. Book 3, Chapter 5 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Berni Chapter 5 An Author's Opinion of Visiting When summoned to tea, Camilla upon entering the parlor found her youth in mournfully discourse with Edgar upon the non-appearance of Dr. Orkborn. Edgar felt a momentary disappointment that she did not honor his flowers with wearing them, but consoled himself with supposing she had preserved them in water. In a few minutes however Indiana appeared with them in her bosom. Just petrified he turned towards Camilla who, affecting an air of unconcern, amused herself with patting a favorite old terrier of her uncles. As soon as he could disengage himself from the baronet he leaned also over the dog and in a low voice said you have discarded them my poor flowers? Have I not done right? Answered she in the same tone. Are they not where you must be far happier to see them? Is it possible? exclaimed he. Ms. Camilla Tirold can suppose. He stopped, for surprised, off his guard. He was speaking loud and he saw Ms. Margland approaching. Don't you think, Mr. Mandelbert? said she, that Ms. Lindmer becomes a bouquet very much. She took a fancy to those flowers and I think they are quite the thing for her. She does them, he called the answer, too much honor. Even he loves her not, thought Camilla, and while trembling between hope and terror at the suggestion determined to redouble her circumspection, not to confirm the suspicion that his indifference was produced by her efforts to attach him to herself, she had soon what she conceived to be an occasion for its exertion. When he handed her some cakes he said, you would think it, I conclude, impertinent or anything more concerning Mrs. Arlbury, now you have positively opened an acquaintance with her? She felt the justice of his implied reproach of her broken promise, but she saw herself constantly watched by Ms. Margland, and repressing the apology she was sighing to offer only answered, you have nothing you own to say against her reputation and as to anything else. True, interrupted he, information on that point is all still in her favor, but can it be Ms. Camilla Tirold who holds that to be the sole question upon which intimacy ought to depend? Does she account as nothing but manners, disposition, way of life? No, not absolutely as nothing, said she rising, but taste settles all those things, and mine is entirely in her favor. Edgar gravely begged her pardon for so officially resuming in an irksome subject and returning to Sir Eug endeavoured to listen to his lamentations and conjectures about Dr. Orkborn. He felt however deeply hurt in naming Mrs. Arlbury he had flattered himself he had opened an opportunity for which she must herself be waiting to explain the motives of her late visit, but her light answer put an end to that hope, and her quitting her seat should her impatient of further counsel. Not a word that fell from Sir Eug reached his ear, but he bowed from time to time, and the good Baron had no doubt of his attention. His eyes were perpetually following Camilla, though they met not a glance from her in return. She played with a terrier, talked with Eugenia, looked out of the window, turned over some books, and read everything with an air of negligence that while it covered absence and anxiety displayed a studied avoidance of his notice. The less he could account for this, the more it offended him. And Dwell's Caprice thought he while his eyes followed her even there, in that fair composition where may I look for singleness of mind for nobleness of simplicity if Caprice, mere girlish think Caprice Dwell there. The moment she had finished her tea she left the room to shorten her cruel task. Struck with a broken sentence of is it possible Miss Camilla Tyrol can suppose the soft hope that his heart was untouched by Indiana ceased her delighted imagination. But the recollection of Miss Morglin's assertations that it was the real right of her cousin soon robbed the hope of all happiness and she could only repeat to-morrow I will go I ought not to think of him I had rather be away to-morrow I will go. She had hardly quitted the parlour when the distant sound of a carriage roused her youth from his fears and followed by Edgar and the ladies he made what hasty could into the courtyard where to his infinite satisfaction he saw his coach driving in. He ordered it should be stopped immediately and called out Pray, Dr. Orkman, are you there? Dr. Orkman looked out of the window and bowed respectfully. God-luck, I could never have thought I should be so glad to see you which you must excuse in point of being no relation. You are heartily welcome I assure you I was afraid I should never see you again for to tell you the honest truth which I would not say a word of before I had got a notion you were going out of your mind. The doctor took not the smallest heed of his speech and the carriage drove up to the door so you then seating himself under the portico said Pray, Dr. Orkman, before you go to your studies may I just ask you who you came to stay out all day and why you never fetched eugenium for I take it for granted it's no secret on the account Jacob was with you besides the coachmen and horses. Dr. Orkman though not at all discomposed by these questions nor by his reception answered that he must first collect his books. The poor girls continued the baronet came home quite blank not that they knew a word of my asking you to go for them till I told them I was lucky enough for the sake of not frightening them however where you can have been particularly with regard to your dinner which I suppose you have gone without is what I can't guess unless you be kind enough to tell me. The doctor too busy to hear him was packing up his books. Come never mind your books said Sir Yug Jacob can carry them for you or Bob or anybody the postillian who with all the rest of the servants had been drawn by curiosity into the courtyard whisk me up those books and take them into the doctor's room I mean provided you can find a place for them which I am sorry to say there is none owing to my not knowing better in point of taking the proper care which I shall be sure to do for the future. The boy obeyed and mounting one step of the coach took what were within which when the doctor absurd he snatched away with greatest pleasure saying very solemnly he had rather at any time be knocked down than see anybody touch one of his books or papers. Jacob coming forward whispered his master not to interfere assuring him he was but just got out of one of his tantarums. Sir Yug a little startled rose to return to the parlor begging Dr. Ortbom to take his own time and not hurry himself he then beckoned Jacob to follow him there is certainly something in all this said he to Edgar beyond what my poor wit can comprehend but I'll hear what Jacob has to say before I form a complete judgment though to be sure he's lugging out all those books to go but four or five miles has but an odd look which is what I don't like to say Jacob now was called upon to give a narrative of the day's adventures why your honour said he as soon as we come to the grove I goes up to the coach door to ask the doctor if he would get out or only send in to let the young ladies know he was come for them but he was got so deep into some of his learning that I dare say I bolded three good times in his ears before he so much has lifted up his head and then it was only to say I'll put him out and to it he went again just as if I'd said never a word till at last I was so plaguing mad I give the coach such a joke to bring him to himself like that he jerked the pencil and paper out of his hand so then he went straight into one of his takings pretending I had made him forget all his thoughts and such like out of the way talk after his old way so when I found he was going off in that manner I thought it only time lost to say no more to him and so I turned me about not to mind him when I sees a whole heap of company at the parlor window laughing so hearty that I was sure they had heard us and the fine, comely lady as clever as you ever see that I found after was the lady of the house bid me come to the window and ask what I wanted so I told her we was come for two of the misterals why says she they've been gone a quarter of an hour by the opposite road so then I was coming away but she made me assigned to come into the parlor for all it was brimful of fine company dressed all like I don't know what it was as prettiest sight as you'd wish to see and then your honor they all began upon me at once there was such a clutter I thought I'd be turned into a booth at the fair and enough they all was sure especially the lady who never opened her lips but what they all laughed but as to all what they asked me I could as soon conjure a ghost as call a quarter of it to mind try however said Edgar curious for further information whatever related to mrs. Arbery why as to that squire answered Jacob with an arch look I'm not so sure and so did you like to hear it all no and why not oh pray tell Jacob cried miss margeline did they say anything of mr. mandelbert yes and of more than mr. mandelbert said jacob grinning do tell do tell cried indiana eagerly I'm a fared miss everybody assured him no offense should be taken well then if you must need snow there was not one of you but what they had a placard praises one of them what does the old gentleman do with all those books and papers in the coach that's what nobody knows as I unless his heads crack which is Mary's opinion then they all laughed more and more and the lady of the house said pray can he really read whoa says I why he does nothing else he's at it from morning until night and Mary says she's sure before long he'll give up his meat and drink for it I've always heard he was a quiz says another or a quass or some such word but I did not know he was such a book worm the old quass is generous however I hear says another pray do you find him so as to that I can't say says I for I never see the color of his money no then what are you such a fool as to serve him for so then your honor I found owing to the coach and the arms and the like they thought all the time it was your honor was in the coach I hope your honor don't take it to me so me not at all Jacob only I don't know why they call me no quiz and quass for never having offended them which I take rather unkind especially not knowing what it means why your honor there such a comical sort of folks they don't mind what they say of nobody not but with the lady of the house is a rare gentle woman your honor could not help liking her I warrant she's made many man's heart ache and then jumped for joy when she done and as to her eyes I think in my born days I've never seen nothing like him they shines like two candles on a dark night afar off on the common why Jacob said sir you I see you have lost your heart however go on why as soon as I found out what they meant that my master says I know God be thanked what should I have to live upon if I was not so much as a cub web for there would not be where with all for a spider to make it here sir you with much displeasure interrupted him as to the poor gentleman's being poor said he it's no fault of his own for he'd be rich if he could I make no doubt never having heard he was a gambler besides which I always respect the man the more for being poor knowing how little a rich man may have in him which I can judge by my own case Jacob proceeded well if it is not sir you says one of them how is it why it's only our Latin master says I upon which they all set up as jolly laugh again as ever I heard in my days job means they're pure Mary and who learns Latin says one I hope they don't let him work at poor old sir you know says I they tried their hands with him at first but he thanked him for nothing he soon grew tired on't so then they said who learns now says they do you me says I know God prepraised I don't know a from B which is the way my head so clear never having muddle it what what I don't understand and so then they all said I was a brave fellow and they order me a glass of wine what is said thought Edgar is this idle dissipated curious for Camilla to associate with the lively the unthinking the inexperienced Camilla so then they ask me says they does Miss Linmer learn says they not as I know of says I she's no great turn for her book as ever I heard of which I hope miss you won't take ill for they all said no to be sure she's too handsome for that Indiana looked uncertain whether to be flattered or offended but you have not told us what they said to Mr. Manlbert yet cried Miss Margeline no I must come to you first miss answer he for that's what they come upon next but my hub I must not tell oh yes you may said she growing a little apprehensive of summer front but determined not to seem hurt by it I'm very indifferent to anything they can say or me assure yourself why I suppose says they this Latin master studies chiefly with a governess they'd stud fistic cuffs I believe if they did says I for she height seem like poison and there's no great love lost between them and what right had you to say that Mr. Jacob I did not ask what you said not that I care I promise you oh dear no I'm sure it is not worthwhile they said worse than I did resumed Jacob by a deal I said says they she looks used crab she looks just as if she was always eating a sour apple says the lady she looks well well I don't want to hear any more of their opinions I may look as I please I hope I hate such gossiping so then they said pray does miss Camilla learn says they lord lover no says I and what said they to that cried Edgar why they said they hope not and they were glad to hear it for they liked her the best of all and what does the ugly one do says they come we have heard enough now interrupted Edgar greatly shocked for poor Eugenia who fortunately however had retired with Camilla Sir you too and really broke in upon him saying I won't have my niece called ugly Jacob you know it's against my command such a things being mentioned why I told them so sir said Jacob ugly ones as I she you call the ugly one is one of the best ladies in the land she's ready to lend a hand to every mortal soul she's just like my master for that and as to learning I make no query she can talk you over the Latin grammar as fast as ever a gentleman here so then they laughed harder than ever and said they should be fair to speak to her and a deal more I can't call to mind so then they come to Mr. Mandelbert pray says they what's he doing among you all this time why nothing particular as I he's only squaring about our young ladies but when is the wedding to be says another so then I said what did you say cried Edgar hastily why nothing answer Jacob drawing back tell us however what they said cried Miss Markland why they said says they everything has been ready some time at beach park and they'll make as handsome a couple as ever was seen what stuff is this cried Edgar do pretty have done no no said Miss Markland go on Jacob Indiana conscious and glowing at the words handsome couple could not restrain a simple but Edgar thinking only of Camilla did not understand it he'll have trouble enough says one of the gentlemen continue Jacob to take care of so pretty a wife she'll be worth a little trouble says another for I think she's the most beautifulest girl I ever see take my word of it says the lady of the house John Mandelbert is a man who won't be made a fool of he'll have his own way for all her beauty what a character to give a me to young ladies cried Edgar doubtful in his turn whether to be hurt or gratified oh she did not stop at that sir resumed Jacob for she said oh Mike no questions as she but in half a year he'll lock her up Indiana surprised gave an involuntary little shriek but Edgar not imputing it to any appropriate alarm was filled with resentment against Mrs. Arbery what incomprehensible injustice he said to himself oh Camilla is it possible any event any circumstance upon earth could induce me to practice such an outrage to degenerate into such a savage is this all asked miss margilland no ma'am but I don't know if miss will like to hear the rest oh yes said Indiana if it's about me I don't mind why they all said miss you'd make the most finest pride that ever was seen and they did not wonder at Mr. Mandelberg's choosing you but for all that he stopped and Edgar who following the bent of his own thoughts had now concluded Camilla to be meant was utterly confounded by discovering his mistake the presence of Indiana redoubled the awkwardness of the conversation and her blushes and the increased luster of her eyes did not make the report seem either unwelcome or perfectly new to her miss margilland raised her head triumphantly this was precisely such a circumstance as she flattered herself would prove decisive the baronet equally pleased returned her nod of congratulation and nodding himself towards Edgar said you're blown you see but what matters secrets about nothing which lord helped me I never knew how to keep Edgar was now still more disconcerted and from mere distress what to say or do be Jacob go on why then they said a deal more how pretty she was he continued but they did not know how it would turn out for the young lady was so much admired that her husband had need looked sharp after her and if what complete impertinence cried Edgar walking about the room I really can listen no longer if he had done wisely says the lady of the house he would have left the professed beauty and taken that pretty Camilla Edgar's surprise stopped short this seemed to him less impertinent Camilla is a charming creature says she though she may want a little watching too but so does everything that is worth having that woman does not want discernment thought Edgar nor she does not want taste I can never totally dislike her if she does such justice to Camilla he now again invited Jacob to proceed but Indiana with a potting lip walked out of the room and Miss Marglans said there was not need to be hearing him all night Jacob therefore when no more either interrupted or encouraged soon finished his narrative Mrs. Arbery amused by watching Dr. Orkman had insisted for an experiment that Jacob should not return to the coach till he was missed and called for and so intense was the application of the doctor to what he was composing that this did not happen till the whole family had dined Jacob and the coachman at the invitation of Mrs. Arbery having partaken of the servants fair equally pleased with the regale and the joke. Dr. Orkman then suddenly recollecting himself demanded why the young ladies were so late and was much discomposed and astonished when he heard they were gone. Mrs. Arbery invited him into the house and offered him refreshments while she ordered water and feed of corn for the horses but he only fretted a little and then went on again with his studies Sir Eug now sent some cold dinner into the doctor's room and declared he should always approve his niece acquaintance with Mrs. Arbery as she was so kind to his servants and his animals. End of chapter 5 read by Lash Rolander Book 3 chapter 6 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lash Rolander Camilla or a Picture of Youth by Fanny Burney Chapter 6 An Author's Idea of Order Not a bosom of the Cleaves party enjoyed much tranquility this evening. Miss Morglin though to the Baron that she would not recede from her assertions, strove vainly to palliate to herself the ill-grace and evident dissatisfaction with which Edgar had met the report. To save her own credit, however, was always her primary consideration. She resolved therefore to cast upon unfair play in Camilla or upon the instability of Edgar all the blame really due to her own undiscerning self-sufficiency. Indiana thought so little for herself that she adopted of course every opinion of Miss Morglin, yet the immovable coldness of Edgar contrasted frequently in her remembrance by the fervor of Melmond and MacDursey became more and more distasteful to her. And Mrs. Albury's idea that she should be locked up in half a year made her look upon him alternately as something to shun or to overreach. She even wished to refuse him, but Beach Park, the Iquipage, the servants, the bridal habilliment no, she could enjoy those if not him. And neither her own feelings nor the lessons of Miss Morglin had taught her to look upon marriage in any nobler point of view. But the person most deeply dissatisfied this evening was Edgar. That, deceived by his own consciousness, he had misunderstood Mrs. Nedham, who, as well as Mrs. Albury, he was convinced concluded him engaged to Indiana. He had observed with concern the approving credulity of Sir Hugh, and though glad to find his real plan and all his wishes unsuspected, the false report excited his fears, lest Indiana should give it any credit and secretly hurt his delicacy for the honor of his taste. All the influence of pecuniary motives to which he deemed Camilla Superior occurred to him in the very words of Dr. Marchmont for Indiana, whose capacity he saw was as shallow as her person was beautiful. Yet the admiration with which she had already made her first appearance in the world might naturally induce her belief of his reported devotion. If, therefore, his situation appeared to her to be eligible, she had probably settled to accept him. The most timid female delicacy was not more scrupulous than the manly honor to Edgar to avoid this species of misapprehension. And though perfectly confident his behavior had been as irreproachable as it was undesigning, the least idea of any self-delusion on the part of Indiana seemed a call upon his integrity for the most unequivocal manifestation of his intentions. Yet any declaration by words with whatever care selected might be construed into an implication that he concluded the decision in his own hands. And though he could scarcely doubt the fact, he justly did nothing so offensive as the palpable presumption. One only line of conduct appeared to him, therefore unexceptionable which was fully to avoid her till the rumor sunk into its own nothingness. This demanded from him a sacrifice the most painful that of retiring from cleaves in utter ignorance of the sentiments of Camilla. Yet it seemed the more necessary as he now, with much uneasiness, recollected many circumstances which his absurd mind had hitherto suffered to pass unnoticed, that led him to fear Sir Eug himself and the whole party entertained the same notion. He was shocked to consider Camilla involved in such a deception though delighted by the idea he might perhaps owe to an explanation, some marks of that preference for which a marchman had taught him to wait and which he now hoped might lie dormant from the persuasion of his engagement. To clear this mistake was therefore every way essential as otherwise the very purity of her character must be in his disfavor. Still however the visit to the groove hung upon his mind and he resolved to investigate his course the following morning before he made his retreat. Early the next day Camilla sent to hasten the chase which was to fetch Mr. Tirold and beg leave of her uncle to breakfast at Edrington. His assent was always ready and believing every evil would yield to absence she eagerly and even with happiness set off. When the rest of the party assembled without her Edgar surprised inquired if she were well. Mr. Marglen answered yes but for the sake of what she loved best in the world a frolic she was gone in the chase to Edrington. Edgar could not prevail with himself to depart till he had spoken with her and privately deferred his purposed leave taking till noon. During this report Sir Eugl was anxiously engaged in some business he seemed to wish to conceal. He spoke little but nodded frequently to himself an air of approving his own ideas. He summoned Jacob to him repeatedly with whom he held various whispering conferences and decide Miss Marglen who made the tea not to pour it out too fast as he was in no hurry to have breakfast over. When nothing he could urge succeeded in making any of the company eat or drink anything more he pulled Edgar by the sleeve and in an eagle but low voice said my dear Mr. Edgar I have a great favor to beg of you which is only that you will do something to divert Dr. Orkborn. I should be very happy Sir cried Edgar smiling but I marched out my capability. Why my dear Mr. Edgar it's only to keep him from finding out my new surprise till it's got ready and if you will but just spout out to him a bit or two of us or some of those Greek and Latin language masters he'll be in no hurry to budge I promise you. A request from Sir Yu who with the most prompt alacrity met the wishes of everyone was by Edgar held to be indisputable. He advanced therefore to Dr. Orkborn who was feeling for his tablets which he commonly examined in his way up the stairs and started a doubt of which he begged an exposition upon a passage of Virgil. Dr. Orkborn willingly stopped and displayed with no small satisfaction an erudition that did him nearly as much honor in the ears of the ignorant and admiring Sir Yu as in those of the cultivated and well-judging Edgar. Ah said the Baronet sighing though addressing himself to no one. And but addicted myself to these studies in due season I might have understood all this too though now I can't for my life make out much sense of what they're talking of nor a little neither indeed as to that thanks to my own idleness to which however I'm not much obliged. Unfortunately the discussion soon led to some points of comparison that demanded a review of Sir Yu's authors and the doctor proposed to joining to his own apartment. The Baronet winked at Edgar who would have changed the discourse or himself have sought the books or have been satisfied without them. But Dr. Orkborn was as eager here as in other matters he was slow and phlegmatic and regardless of all opposition was making of when Sir Yu, catching him by the arm exclaimed friend I beg it as a particular favor you won't stir a step not stir a step Sir repeated the doctor amazed that is not to your own room not go to my own room Sir The Baronet gently begged him not to take it amiss and presently upon the appearance of Jacob who entered with a significant smile said he would keep him no longer. Dr. Orkborn to whom nothing was so irksome as a moment's detention from his books and papers instantly departed inviting Edgar to accompany him but without troubling himself to inquire for what end he had been held back when they were gone Sir Yu rubbing his hand said well I think this good gentleman won't go about the country again with all his books fastened about him to shoo he has nowhere to put them for as for his telling me he only took them to look at I'm not quite such an ignoramus with all my ignorance as to believe such a thing as that especially of a regular bread scholar a loud and angry sound of voices from above here interrupted the pleased harangue of the Baronet Miss Margland opened the door to listen and with no small delight heard words scarce intelligible for rage raking from Dr. Orkborn whose anger while Edgar was endeavoring to moderate Jacob and Mary were vociferously resenting Sir Yu all astonished feared there was some mistake he had sent the preceding day as far as Winchester for two bookcases which he had ordered should arrive early and be put up during the breakfast and he had directed Mary to on the shelves with great care all the loose books and papers she found dispersed about the room as neatly as possible after which Jacob was to give notice when all was arranged the words now if I must have my manuscripts rummaged at pleasure by every dunce in the house I would rather lie in the street distinctly caught the rears Sir Yu was thunderstruck with amazement and disappointment but said nothing Miss Margland looked all spite and pleasure and Eugenia all concern louder yet and with accents of increasing asperity the doctor next exclaimed A twelve months hard labor will not repair this mischief I should have been much more obliged to you if you had blown out my brains the baronet aghast cried Lord help us I think I'd best go and get the shelves pulled down again what I have done not being meant to offend being what will cost me ten pounds and upwards he then though somewhat irresolute whether or not to proceed moved towards the foot of the stairs but there a new storm of rage startled him I wish you had been all of you unhiliated ever you had entered my room I had rather have lost my ears than that manuscript I wish with all my heart you had been at the bottom of the sea every one of you before you had touched it if you won't blame it can't be held said Mary but if I was to tell it you over and over I've done nothing to no mortal thing I only just swept the room after the carpenter was gone for it was all in such a pickle it was a shame to be seen you have ruined me cried he you have swept it behind the fire I make not a moment start and I had rather you had given me a bowl of poison you can maybe no reparation it was a clue to the whole section well I won't make no more words about it said Mary angrily but I'm sure I never so much as touched it with a pair of tongs for I never see it nor I don't so much as know it if I do why it's a piece of paper written all over look just such an other as this I left it on the table by this corner oh that cried Mary yes I remember that well where is it what have you done with it why I happened of a little accident about that for as I was sweeping under the table the broom knocked the ink down but by good luck it only fell upon that little morsel of paper little morsel of paper it's more precious than a whole library but what did you do with it what is some of it whatever condition it is in if you have but save it where is it I say why it was all over ink and good for nothing so I did not think of your missing it so I throwed it behind the fire I wish you had been thrown there yourself with all my heart but if ever you bring a broom into my room again why I did nothing but what my master ordered or if ever you touch a paper or a book of mine again my master said himself your master's a blockhead and you are another go away I say Mary now hurried out of the room enraged for her master and frightened for herself and Edgar not aware Sir you was within hearing soon succeeded in welcoming the doctor by mildly listening to his lamentations Sir you extremely shocked sat upon the stairs to recover himself Miss Margland who never felt so virtuous and never so elated as when witnessing the imperfections or improprieties of others discounted largely against ingratitude treating an unmeaning sally of passion as a serious mark of turpitude St. Eugenia ashamed for Dr. Orkman to whom as her preceptor she felt a constant disposition to be partial determined to endeavor to induce him to make some apology she glided therefore past her uncle and tapped at the doctor's door Mary seeing her master so invitingly in her way could by no means resist her desire of appeal and complaint and descending the stairs begged her to hear her Mary said he rising and returning to the parlor you need not tell me a word for I have heard it all myself by which it may be truly said listeners never hear good of themselves so I've got the proper punishment for which reason I hope you won't look upon it as an example I am sure Sir said Mary if your honor can excuse you speaking so respectful it's what nobody else can and if it was not for thinking as his head's got a crack in it there is not a servant among us as would not affront him for it the baronet interrupted her with a serious lecture upon the civilities he expected for all his guests and she promised to restrain her wrath but only sir she continued if your honor had seen the bit of paper as he made voice at me for your honor would not have believed it not a soul could have read it my Tom would have been well if he wrote no better at school and as to his being a 12 month a scrolling such another I'll no more believe it than I'll fly it's as great a fib as ever was told Sir you begged her to be quiet and to think no more of the matter no your honor I hope I'm not a person as bears malice only I could not but speak of it because he behaves more comical every day I thought he'd have beat me over and over and as to the stories he tells about them little bits of paper mortal patients can't bear it no longer the remonstrance of Eugenia took immediate effect Dr. Orcon shocked and alarmed at the expression which had escaped him protested himself willing to make the humblest preparation and truly declared he had been so greatly disturbed by the loss he had just sustained that he not merely did not mean but did not know what he had said Edgar was the bearer of his apology which Sir you accepted with his usual good humor he's calling me a blockhead cried he is a thing I have no right to resent I take it for granted he would not have said it if he had not thought it and a man's thoughts are his castle and ought to be free Edgar repeated the protestation that he had been hurried on by passion and spoke without meaning why then my dear Mr Edgar I must fairly own I don't see the great superiorness of learning if it can't keep a man's temper out of a passion however say nothing on the sort of book Lermond upon his coming over who I expect won't speak one word in ten I shall understand which however as it's all been done for the best I would not have the poor boy discouraged in he then sent a kind message by Edgar to Dr Orpun desiring him not to mind such a trifle the conciliating office was congenial to the disposition of Edgar and often his impatience for the return of Camilla but when soon after a note arrived from Mr Tyrol requesting Sir Eub to dispense with seeing him till the next day and apologizing for keeping his daughter he felt equally disappointed and provoked though he determined not to delay any longer his departure he gave orders therefore for his horses immediately and with all the less regret for knowing Camilla no longer in the circle he was to quit the ladies were in the parlor with Sir Eub who was sorrowfully brooding over his brother's note when he entered it to take leave addressing himself somewhat rapidly to the baronet he told him he was under an unpleasant necessity to relinquish some days of the month so Tyrol intended for him he made acknowledgments and then only bowing to the ladies left the room before the astonished Sir Eub comprehended he was going well, cried Miss Marglenn this is curious indeed he has flown off from everything without even an apology I hope he's not really gone said Eugenia walking to the window I'm sure I don't care what he does, cried Indiana he's welcome to go or to stay I'm grown quite sick of him for my part gone? said Sir Eub recovering breath it's impossible why he never has said one word to me of the day nor the settlements nor all those things he then rang the bell and sent to desire Mr. Mandelbert might be called immediately Edgar who was mounting a source of aid with some chagrin as soon as he re-entered the room Sir Eub cried my dear Mr. Jang Edgar it's something amazing to me you should think of going away without coming to an explanation an explanation sir yes, don't you know what I mean not in the least sir cried Edgar staggered by a doubt whether he suspected what he felt for Camilla or referred to what was reported of Indiana why then my pretty dear said Sir Eub to Indiana you won't object I hope to taking a little walk in the garden provided it is not disagreeable to you for you had better not hear what we are going to talk about before your face Indiana pouting her beautiful underlip and scornfully passing Edgar complied Eugenia accompanied her but Miss Maragland kept her ground Sir Eub always unwilling to make any attack and at a loss how to begin simply said why I thought Mr. Mandelbert you would stay with us till next year Edgar only bowed why then suppose you do most probably sir I shall by that time be upon the continent if some particular circumstance does not occur I propose shortly making the tour of Europe Sir Eub now lost all guard and restraint and with undisguised his pleasure exclaimed so here's just the second part of Clermont at the moment I sent for him home thinking he would come to put the finish to all my cares about Eugenia he sends me word he must travel and though the poor girl took it very well from knowing nothing of the matter I can't say I take it very kind of you young Edgar to come and do just the same by Indiana the surprise of Edgar was unspeakable that Sir Eub should wish the relation of Jacob with respect to Indiana confirmed he could not wonder but that his wishes should have amounted to expectations and that he should deem his knees ill-used by their failure gave him the most poignant astonishment Miss Maragland taking advantage of his silence consternation began now to pour forth very volubly the most pointed reflections upon the injury done to young ladies by reports of his nature which were always sure to keep of all other offers there was no end she said to the admirers who had deserted Indiana in despair and she questioned if she would ever have any more from the general belief of her being actually engaged Edgar whose sense of honor was tenaciously delicate heard her with a mixture of a concern for Indiana and indignation against herself that kept her long uninterrupted for though burning to assert the integrity of his conduct the fear of uttering a word that might be offensive to Indiana embarrassed and checked him Sir Eug who in seeing him overpowered concluded he was being now kindly took his hand and said my dear Mr Mandelbert if you are sorry for what you were intending of going away and leaving us all in the lurch why you shall never hear a word more about it for I will make friends for you with Indiana and beg of Miss Maragland that she do us the favor to say no more Edgar affectionately pressing the hand of the Baronet uttered the warmest expressions of regard and protested he should always think it an honor to have been held worthy of pretending to be any alliance in his family but he knew not how the present mistake had been made or report had arisen he could boast of no partiality from his lin-mir nor had he ever addressed her with any particular views yet as it was the opinion of Miss Maragland that the rumor however false might prevent the approach to some deserving object he now finally determined to become for a while a stranger at Cleves however painful such self-denial must prove he then precipitately left the room and in five minutes had galloped out of the park the rest of the morning was spent by Sir Eug in the utmost his composure and by Miss Maragland in alternate abuse of Camilla and of Edgar Indiana passed from a peaked and short disappointment to the consolatory idea that Melmond might now re-appear Edgar rode straight to Beach Park where he busyed himself the whole day in viewing alterations and improvements but where nothing answered his expectations since Camilla had disappointed them that sunbeam which had gilded the place to his eyes was now over-clouded and the first possession of his own domain was his first day of discontent End of Chapter 6 Read by Lars Rolander Book 3, Chapter 7 of Camilla This is a LibriVox recording or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Reading by Lars Rolander Camilla or a picture of youth by Fanny Burnie Chapter 7 A Maternal Eye The vivacity with which Camilla quitted cleaves was sung before she reached Edrington She had quitted also Edgar quitted him offended and in doubt if it might ever be right she should vindicate herself in his opinion Yet all seemed strange and unintelligible that regarded asserted nutshells His indifference was palpable She believed him to have been unaccountably drawn in and her heart softly whispered it was herself he preferred From this soothing but dangerous idea she struggled to turn her thoughts She anticipated the remorse of holding the affections of the husband of her cousin and determined to use every possible method to forget him which she strove vainly not to hope The reported alliance should never take place These reflections so completely engrossed her the whole way that she arrived at the personage house without the smallest mental preparation how to account for a return or how to plead for remaining at Edrington foresight the offspring of judgment or the disciple of experience made no part of the character of Camilla whose impetuous disposition was open to every danger of indiscretion though her genuine love of virtue glowed warm with juvenile ardour She entered therefore the breakfast parlor in a state of sudden perplexity what to say Mr. Tirold was alone and writing He looked surprised but embraced her with his accustomed affection and inquired to what he owed She made no answer but embraced him again and inquired after her mother She is well He replied But tell me is your uncle impatient of my delay It has been fully unavoidable I have been deeply engaged and deeply chagrined Your poor mother would be still more disturbed if the nobleness of her mind did not support her Camilla extremely grieved earnestly inquired what had happened He then informed her that Mrs. Tirold the very next morning must abruptly quit them all and set out for Lisbon Tursic brother Mr. Relville Is he so much worse? No I even hope he is better An act of folly has brought this to bear Do not now desire particulars I will finish my letter and then return with you for a few minutes to cleaves The carriage must wait Suffer me first to ask Does Lavina go with my mother? No She can only take old Ambrose Lavina must supply her place at home Ah, my dearest father and may not I too stay with you and a sister? If my brother will spare you my dear child there is nothing can so much contribute to while away to me your mother's absence Enchanted thus without any explanation to have gained her point she completely revived though when Mrs. Tirold whom she almost worshipped entered the room in all the hurry of preparing for a long journey she shed a torrent of tears in her arms This good girl said Mr. Tirold is her self-desire to quit the present gaites of cleaves to try to enliven my solitude till we all may meet again Conscious and artless Camilla could not bear this undeserved praise She quitted her mother and returning to Mr. Tirold Oh, my father she cried if you will take me again under your beloved roof it is for my sake not yours I beg to return She's right said Mrs. Tirold there is no merit in having an heart she could have none if to be with you were not her first gratification Yes, indeed, my dear mother it would always be so even if no other inducement she stopped short, confused Mr. Tirold who continued writing did not heed this little blunder but his wife whose quickness of apprehension and depth of observation were always alive even in the midst of business cares and other attentions turned hastily to her daughter and asked to what other inducement she alluded Camilla distressed hung her head and would have forebwned making any answer Mrs. Tirold then putting down various packets which she was sorting and selecting came suddenly up to her and taking both her hands looked earnestly in her face saying, my Camilla something has disquieted you your countenance is not itself tell me, my dear girl what brought you hither this morning and what is it you mean by some other inducement do not ask me now my dearest mother answer she in a faltering voice when you come back again no doubt all will be over and then and is that the time Camilla to speak to your best friends would it not be more judicious to be explicit with them while what affects you is still depending Camilla hiding her face on her mother's bosom burst afresh into tears alas cried Mrs. Tirold what new evil is hovering if it must invade me again through one of my children tell me at least, Camilla it is not willfully that you too afflict me and afflict the best of fathers Mr. Tirold dropping his pen looked at them both with the most deprehensive anxiety no my dearest mother said Camilla endeavouring to me to rise not willfully but something has happened I can hardly myself tell how or what but indeed Cleves now she hesitated how is my brother demanded Mr. Tirold oh all that is good and kind and I agree to quit him Cleves now again she hesitated ah my dear child said Mrs. Tirold I always fear that residence you are too young too inconsiderate too innocent indeed to be left so utterly to yourself forgive me my dear Mr. Tirold I do not mean to reflect upon your brother but he is not you and with you alone this dear inexperienced girl can be secure from all harm tell me however what it is Camilla in the extremist confusion changed colour but tried vainly to speak Mr. Tirold suspended from all employment waited fearfully some explanation we have no time said Mrs. Tirold for delaying you know I'm going abroad and cannot ascertain my return though all my heart left behind me my children and their father will urge every acceleration in my power Camilla wept again fondly folding her arms round her mother I had hoped she cried that I should have come home to peace comfort tranquility to both of you my dearest father and mother and to all my unbroken happiness under your roof how little did I dream of so cruel a separation show yourself my Camilla that you have not been its cause may heaven ever spare me evil in your shape at least you say it is nothing willful I can bear everything else we will not said Mr. Tirold press her she will tell us all in her own way and at her own time forced confidence is neither fair nor flattering I will excuse her return to my brother and she will sooner be able to give her account for finding herself not horrid calm yourself then said Mrs. Tirold as your indulgent father permits and I will proceed with my preparations Camilla now somewhat recovering declared she had almost nothing to say but her mother continued packing up and her father went on with this letter she had now time to consider that her own fears and emotions were involving her unnecessary confessions she resolved therefore to repress the fullness of her heart and to acknowledge only the accusation of Miss Maragland and in a few minutes without waiting for further inquiry she gathered courage to open upon the subject and with as much ease and quietness as she could command related in general terms the charge brought against her and her consequent decided to quit Cleaves till till here she stopped for breath Mr. Tirold instantly finished the sentence till the marriage has taken place she colored and faintly uttered yes you are right my child said he and you have acted with a prudence which does your honor neither the ablest reasoning nor the most upright conduct can so completely obliterate a surmise of this nature from a suspicious mind as absence you shall remain therefore with me till your cousin is settled in her new habitation do you know if the day is fixed no sir she answered while the roses fled her cheeks at question which implied so firm a belief of the junior do not suffer this affair to occasion you any further uneasiness he continued it is the inherent and unlinable compact of innocence with truth to hold themselves immovably superior to the colony of false imputations but I will go myself to Cleaves and set this whole matter right and will you too sir have the goodness she was going to say to make my peace with Edgar but the fear of misinterpretation checked her and she turned away he gently inquired what she meant she avoided any explanation and he resumed his writing ah me thought she will the time ever come when with openness with propriety I may clear myself of Caprice to Edgar less patient because more alarmed than her husband Mrs. Tyrell followed her to the window she saw tear in her eye and again she took both her hands have you my Camilla she cried have you told us all can unjust impertinent so greatly have disturbed you is there no sting belonging to this wound that you are covering from our sight though it may precisely be the spot that calls most for some healing balm again the cheeks of Camilla received their fugitive roses my dearest mother she cried is not this enough to be accused suspected she stammered and would have withdrawn her hands but Mrs. Tyrell still holding them said to fear what speak out my best child open to us your whole heart where else will you find repository so tender tears again flow down the burning cheeks of Camilla and dropping her eyes ah my mother she cried you will think me so frivolous you will blush so for your daughter if I own if I dare confess again she stopped terrified at the conjectures to which this opening might give birth but when further and fondly pressed by her mother she added it is not alone these unjust surmises nor even Indiana's unkind concurrence in them but also I have been afraid I must have made a strange a capricious an ungrateful appearance in the eyes of Edgar Mandelbert her voice dropped but presently recovering she rapidly continued I know it is very material and I am sensible how foolish it may sound but I shall also think of it no more now and therefore as I have told the whole she looked up conscious at these last words to see if they proved satisfactory she caught in the countenance of her mother an expression of deep commissuration which was followed by a thousand maternal caresses of unusual softness though unaccompanied by any words penetrated yet distressed she gratefully received them but rejoiced when at length Mr. Tyrol Reising said go my love upstairs to your sister your mother else will never proceed with her business she gladly ran off and soon by a concise narration satisfied Lavinya and then calmed her own troubled mind Mr. Tyrol now though evidently much affected himself strove to compose his wife alas! cried she do you not see what thus has touched me do you not perceive that our lovely girl is worth than its possessor has given her whole heart to Edgar Mandelbart I proceeded through your emotion but I had not discovered it myself I agree now that the probability of such an event had not struck me in time to have kept them apart for its prevention I agree for nothing cried she warmly but the infatuated blindness of that self lost young man what a wife would Kamila have made him in every stage of their united career and how unfortunately has she sympathized in my sentiments that he alone seemed worthy to replace the first and best protector she must relinquish when she quits this house what will he find in Indiana but a beautiful doll uninterested in his feelings unmoved by his excellences and incapable of comprehending him if he speaks either of business or literature yet many wives of this description replied Mr. Tirold are more pleasing in the eyes of their husbands than women who are either better informed in intellect or more alive in sensation and it is not an uncommon idea amongst men that where both in temper and affairs there is least participation there is most repose case with Edgar no, he has a noble resemblance then this portrait would allow him a resemblance which made me hope for him a far higher style of choice he prepares himself however his own ample punishment for he has too much understanding not to sicken of mere personal allurements and too much generosity to be flattered or satisfied by mere passive intellectual inferiority neither a mistress nor a slave can make him happy a companion is what he requires and for that in a very few months how vainly his secret soul may sigh and think of our Camilla they then settle that it would be now essential to the peace of their child to keep her as much as possible from his sight and determine not to send her back to Cleves to apologize for the new plan and to take upon themselves that whole charge her nature, said Mrs. Tirold is so gay, so prompt for happiness that I have little fear but in absence she will soon cease to dwell upon him fear indeed I have but it is of a deeper evil than this early impression I fear for her future lot with whom can we trust her she will not endure negligence and those she cannot respect she will soon despise what a prospect for her then with our present race of young men their frivolous fickleness, no seeds whatever they can reach they have a weak shame of asserting or even listening to what is right and a shallow pride in professing what is wrong how must this ingenious girl forget all she has yet seen heard or felt where she can encounter wickedness or even weakness and disguise her abhorrence or contempt my dear Georgiana let us never look forward to evil will it not be doubly hard to bear if it come upon us without preparation I think not terror shakes and apprehension depresses, hope nerves as well as gladden us remember always I do not by hope mean presumption I mean simply a cheerful trust in heaven I must always yield cried Mrs. Tyrell to your superior wisdom and reflecting piety and if I cannot conquer my fears at least I will neither court nor indulge them the thanks of a grateful husband repaid this compliance they sent for Camilla to acquaint her they would make excuses at Cleves she gave her ready though melancholic consent and the words show her motives drew tears from her idolizing mother as she clasped her to her heart they then set out together that Mr. Tyrell might arrange this business was her you of whom and of Judea Mrs. Tyrell was to take leave End of Chapter 7 Red Bailage Rolander


Richard Sol, Lenny Kaye and I really were the founders of the Petty Smith Group and put together most of the material on horses. And Richard was classically trained. He was younger than we were, quite beautiful. And I thought there was a picture of him, but very, very beautiful. And we were very attached to him. And he really, he was aptly named being Richard Sol. And he put that element within our music. And it is his birthday. He died at 37 of a pulmonary heart disease. He had a faulty heart valve. And so he was quite young. And but we salute him. Happy birthday, Richard. I was a wing on the ocean, sort of a spade. And I was free. I needed no money. It was beautiful. It was beautiful. I was a pawn, could make a move. No future at all. Yet I was free. I needed no money. It was beautiful. And if there's one thing in heaven blue, I was a vision in another eye. And I saw nothing in the future at all. Yet I was free. I needed no money. It was beautiful. And if there's one thing, there's one thing.


Hi, thanks for viewing another 12pm tutorial. This tutorial will teach you how to install and use JAP, the John Doe Anonymous Proxy. The primary purpose of this program is to hide your identity from the websites you visit, your internet service provider, and anyone who is watching your internet connection. JAP does this by using a system of mixes to scramble your information with the information of other JAP users before it reaches the internet. When you turn on the JAP anonymity service and then request information from the internet, your request is encrypted and then filtered through a number of mixes called a MixCastGate, which rearranges the identity of your connection by mixing it with bits and pieces of other users' identities. The final mix in the MixCastGate then decrypts your request so that you can view the information you wanted anonymously. Now that you know how it works, let's go get the software. The address for the website is kind of long, so just open up a web browser and go to your favorite search engine. Now type in JAP and look for a site called JAP, anonymity and privacy. Once you find it, click on the link. On JAP's website you can read about the software and how it works. Go ahead and explore the website before we move on with the tutorial. Once you're done exploring, take a look at the right hand side of the page. See the link under download that says stable version? Click on that link. Now you have to choose the stable version you want. Since we're using Windows for the tutorial, let's click on the Windows link. Now you have the option of downloading JAP setup.exe or the complete setup program. Let's download JAP setup which will take a look at your computer and download what you need for the program. Go ahead and click on JAP setup.exe and then save it to your computer. After the file has finished downloading, close your browser, go to the folder where it's saved, and double click the JAP setup.exe program. Click run. Here JAP asks you what you would like to install. JAP uses Java in order to run the anonymizing service, so either check the box for Java 1.3 or get the most up-to-date version of Java from www.java.com. If you have Java, all you need to do is check the box marked JAP and then click next. Choose where you want the program to install and then click next. Choose the name of the start menu folder and then click install and wait for the program to finish installing. The speed of the installation process will depend on your internet connection speed because JAP will be downloading necessary components. Once the installation is completed, click close. Now go to start, programs, JAP, and click the JAP program. When you run JAP for the first time, a window will pop up called installation assistant. This will walk you through making sure that JAP is working properly on your computer. The first thing I'll ask you to do is choose a language. Go ahead and choose a language from the menu and click next. Now you get to choose whether you want a simple view for the user interface or the extended view. Let's stick with the simplified view for now and click next. This page tells you that you need to configure your web browser to connect to the JAP service. I'll walk you through how you do that now. First, open up your web browser. We're going to use internet explorer. Now go to tools and then to internet options and then click on the connections tab. Click the land settings button. Check the box that says use a proxy server from your land and then enter local host in the address box and 4001 in the port box and then click OK. Click OK again, minimize your browser and go back to the installation assistant. Click next. Now JAP wants to run a test to see if the service is working correctly. Move the installation assistant out of the way and turn off the anonymity on the John Do user interface. Now go back to your browser. Try to visit a different website. I'm going to try www.nytimes.com. If JAP has configured correctly, you should see a warning box alerting you that you are not anonymous. When the box pops up, click yes. If the website shows up with no problem, go back to the installation assistant and check the option that says the warning is show and then click next. Now JAP wants to switch the anonymity back on and surf the web of it. If you can access the internet without any difficulty, click the option that says connection established, web surfing is fine and then click next. Then click finish. Take a look at the JAP user interface. To use the internet, it will keep track of your response time, the number of JAP users and the speed that you are accessing the internet at, and the amount of encrypted data you transferred. As an added bonus, if you live in an area where the internet isn't censored, you can allow people from areas that censored the internet to use your connection to circumvent that censorship by clicking the box marked anti-censorship service. To turn the JAP service off, simply click exit. Remember that the browser you configured to work with JAP will not work without the JAP program running. You'll need to delete the LAN setting from earlier in order to use it on its own.