Everyone get back I get not a single clip man. I'm the king of shooting in every 2k.   Yeah Put that in there right there man. It's going in Leaving him open. Oh, he is base 93 though. Yeah, it's base 24. Oh, I just thought it was like 70 bases.   They're pretty brutal just to give you an idea of what we're working with. Oh Here we go. This is the clip So now it's time to find the editors before we do that quick little intermission drop a like subscribe to the channel All right intermission over I will make you an MVA 2k edits I will edit MVA 2k mixtapes and matted montages and I will make a fortnight mixtape for you now Okay, all right I'm gonna get all three of these guys to work on the same edit now. You might be wondering agent What if they just use copyrighted music? I thought about that. I'm gonna have the editors edit to the song cold-blooded by the one and only flight I'm gonna have the editors The editing with this song right which is still copyrighted, but I don't think flight will claim the video I'm just free promotion ladies and gentlemen flights music link in the description Hey What it do flight crew FTC I don't know if you guys ever edited a montage before but once you finish editing something you get sick of the song Because you have to replay so many times to get the timing right this right that right You just hate every song you've ever worked on now. Imagine if the song you're working on was cold-blooded So the hope that I have is that this fortnight mixtape guy that for some reason tagged his little thing here MVA 2k mixtapes I hope this guy doesn't know who I am and takes me seriously because there's gonna be no better reaction than somebody taking Me seriously in having to edit those clips.   I will make a one-minute edit But you get to request a song What a bargain for $10 premium I will make you a three-minute full mixtape with nice clean visual effects and coloring Thank you for your purchase a receipt will send to your email. All right now We get a submit a request send good music good quality clips and that's all Why don't you tell me about these qualifications before I purchased this man? Because I'm not gonna do neither of those but all that is subjective Yeah, I'm on some new level today. I'm I why am I so good at lying? This should be a problem. I shouldn't be this good I'm just like naturally doing this. I'm new to the NBA 2k neighborhood But I want to start joining some teams and clans so I grabbed some clips of a few games I played yesterday. I want the mixtape to be a resume for me so I can be accepted into clans here are the clips I linked in the clips. It's kind of silly But I always wanted to have a mixtape with this song I linked them flights cold-blooded and can you subtitle the lyrics on the screen if you can use as many clips as possible That's only a few games if I sat for hours. I think I could get way better clips So this is like a teaser for me. Thank you. Bye. Let's keep it e-boop. Bye Hi, I'm looking to make a NBA 2k 19 mixtape I'm not great yet, but I want this to be like a teaser so I can start joining clans I have the clips ready and the song I want Let me know if you can in the final one and there's one that I have the most hope for Look, I will make a fortnight mixtape for you and this one's pretty simple He just has two basic requirements a mixtape three to five minutes long The standard one is five to ten minutes long and the premium one is mixtape ten Menue what's and more I will design custom thumbnail for you for your videos to gain more views Custom thumbnails makes your video pop out more. Oh, that's so sweet. He's explaining thumbnails to me All right, so I just copied and pasted the stuff I told the last guy and now we wait Yo, it's literally been like eight nine days at this point. Hey, if you guys are new to the channel Subscribe to the channel and drop a like maybe I'll get my mind off the kawai thing All right, so the first person I hit up I don't know if he's ever used the computer before so I uploaded the clips to Google drop just download them off to Google drop Apparently that wasn't working. I said I can upload the clips to another site. Which would you prefer any? I don't know to be honest. I think it's my computer I have the song and everything but not the clips So then I spent like 20 minutes re-uploading all that stuff to the drop box He was waiting like one or two days in between trying to download I'm like, why are you why are you taking that long bro? Have you tried downloading on another device and just transferring? No, but for your sakes. I don't want you waiting So here's what I think happened. He saw the clips and was like nah So whatever that one was a fail the next guy though. He came through he got right to work. Okay, I'll get started I'll let you know if I run into any problems Then he started to get wise to what was happening because in the footage I was playing with Davis yo was this agent agent Did you want your missed shots in the mixtape because you send me some clips of you? Just a fan of his law. Yeah, you can add those. It'll be progress for me. All right So I'm gonna take a look at his montage. I've been saving it man I've desperately wanted to watch it for the past few days while I waited for the other ones But I had the willpower to hold out so here it is What is your flight crew?  They ain't but some hoes love it So they just want a dart they make cuz I'm cold-blooded I got too much paper now. They ain't but some hoes love it So they just want a dart they make There's just something hilarious about the juxtaposition of having to edit horrible clips But he's trying as hard as to make him look good, but there's nothing you can do Okay, these clips is ass. The real question is did he put my misses in the mixtape? I sent him a clip of a screen and he used it.  Yo, I'm thoroughly surprised. He didn't play around. He's very serious about this edit Maybe it's cuz he knew that it was me and if I was doing something like this it might have ended up on a video Niggas want a dog take me cuz I'm told by that too much So they just want a dog too much paper not a hand but some hoes love it That too much paper not a hand but some hoes love My dribble game I sent him good clips a mixtape will come out fantastic. I'm I'm impressed the guys probably like looking for real work and then here I am just butting in sending him my garbage clips for him to work on that's the first time I think I've ever listened to fight reacts cold-blooded info the guy sent me a message afterwards He said yo, this is agent for real keep doing what you do been watching since 2k 17 Here's your order. If you have any issues with the video. Let me know All right, so there was the last guy that I hit out now this guy. He was pretty reasonable It was straight to the punch with this guy. I just told him what I wanted what song I wanted He said I'm gonna get it done. Why do I do things like this? What it do for like Man, what's good? I don't want to give anybody epilepsy. I'm gonna skip that part come You got to give a warning for stuff like that, man. All right, let's get back into it Don't do that stop don't ever do that. That's not don't do that That's it get them checks pull up in the to the next hit your bitch on with the text They don't come and break that net. I don't mean to flex.    They hate it, but them hoes love it So they just wanna do it take me cuz I'm cold blooded got too much paper now They hate it, but them hoes love it I don't like it does it it takes a lot of creativity to find a way to even edit something like this That's true. So niggas wanna do it take me cuz I'm cold blooded got too much paper now Okay Why How are we gonna see this clip? How can we see this clip if half of it is black? Thanks for watching I wonder if lights gonna see this video and there you go ladies and gentlemen You just watched the greatest mixtapes in 2k history courtesy of me if you guys enjoyed make sure drop a like subscribe to the channel and Click on one of the four videos on the screen. Look. They're just folding. Okay. I'm out


Everybody for us here ripping three boxes for Peter M. Peter's got a 2022 tops luminaries baseball a 2022 tops museum collection Baseball and a 2022 leaf exotic multi sport. Let's start with museum collection. Good luck, Peter copper rookie wander Franco Quad reliever Jersey Carter all this Chapman Josh Hader Kenley Jansen Edwin Diaz 39 of 99 Brent stocks and sign all of them except Chapman get them all trade for him Abrams is a canvas tatees a blue Ricky Henderson 38 of 150 And a patch card a three-color patch you Darvish 14 of 35 you dealing now He's back Archival autograph Geo or a shallow 140 of 150 got to make him good then Ryan John Taylor too good man Colts against Dallas.  Let's do exotic and then luminaries. Good luck, Peter Exotic multi sports Rachel Balkovic Balkovic is that the that's the Yankees coach right four of eight It's about the back of Balkovic Pretty cool card right there I think she's like their triple-a or double-a like one of their coaches Top's luminaries now, I expect to see that's pretty neat Luminaries now this is a big show Shohei Otani Otto 13 out of 15 Hit Kings Otto save to the best for last for you Peter. Thank you again We'll get these cards right out to you


had to get his sleeves cut off. They were just too tight, way more comfortable now, ready to win. We ready for y'all. Two really good teams going at it. One score game late in the fourth. Oh, oh, that's one of those plays where you're like, damn, we might be awful. Fourth and one, they're opting to not kick the field goal. They're running it and they don't get it.   What?  What are you guys talking about, these guys? I called it, I knew. Oh, the other team, the Denvers, the Broncos, they kicked the field goal. They're like, this is what you guys should've done. All right, boys, we can still win this battle. Let's play some ball. 35 seconds.


I'm obviously extremely biased because I think all this stuff is cool. And I even have to tell you that you might have thought the answer would be most interested in the medical applications part of it because that's so much of what our institute is supporting now. But as I learned about some of the topics and some of the examples that the Smithsonian scientists brought in to the exhibition, which were much more about evolution, much more about applications of genomics to even things like bird strikes to airplanes and things like that, I thought that was incredibly cool too. I think so. I was as much enamored with things I didn't know as much about little niches in genomics as I was about the stuff I was the most familiar with. I'm most looking forward to seeing all the parts come together. I mean, when we design these things, we design them as cohesive ideas. So the vertical surface working with the horizontal surfaces, working with the interactives, with the videos, with the digital interactives. And so I'm excited to see it built. I'm excited to see how it all works together. I mean, we have a sense of how it works together when we do these drawings, but it's not the same as seeing the real thing. I gave a lot of thought to which part of the exhibit excites me the most. And as I started thinking about the different puzzle pieces that make up the exhibit, they were all equal in some ways. But I think that one of the things that interests me most in a lot of places where we're putting activity is in how the exhibit will reach out beyond the exhibit. So at the end of the exhibit, there will be an ancillary space where our educators can work with the public on developing even more activities. Really I like the whole exhibit because it's something that's very different, it's very organic presentation. The stretched fabric walls have a quality to them that will instantly identify with the visitor, or the visitor will instantly identify with it. It's not hard, you know, it's not a hard surface. It's something that is extremely attractive, it's a chock-full exhibit. I think my favorite story is the human microbiome. We have a title that says, You Are a Superorganism, and that is so completely true. When I first learned about it, I was enamored with the topic of just having millions of microbes on your body, and we couldn't find that out until we started sequencing DNA and looking at the genome. So the fact that we learned so much that we couldn't culture a number of these microbes before, and here's this holistic balance that your body has to achieve with millions of communities in and on you, and what are the possibilities that we can do in terms of our own health care in the future, and how does this play into how we study disease and our own continuing health? There's just so many possibilities. One thing I think that the kind of intro toolkit that we need of people, there'll be a short movie that I think would be a very good sort of three to five minute primer on, you know, if you needed to know about, you know, what is a genome and how does it work? I think the film that will be part of that, the animation I think will be particularly neat. I'm eager to see how that turns out. So my heart has always been to do something to leave this world a better place than when we found it, and I tried to do that in, you know, biochemistry, and then later on I moved into, you know, more of a field of being in the arts. So in this piece, it's actually those two things combined, and in that way I'm very proud that there'll be a piece that can achieve a little bit of that. All we have to do is inspire one kid. I'm really excited about the interactives that we've created. I'm really excited about the hands-on activities that are going to be in the exhibit because I think that they will allow people to learn so much in an engaging and fun way. So I'm really excited, and maybe part of it is that these are the kinds of things that you really can't test before they happen, so there's this element of surprise. You know, you're hoping it's going to work, but maybe it's not, but I'm really excited about how the interactives have come together and bring together many elements of the exhibition into one fun place. So that, I would have to say, that's what I'm really excited about. I'm very excited about what we're going to present in looking at the natural world, and by that I mean looking at other organisms, how we use the technologies around genomics, being able to sequence a lot of things, to understand environments like looking in the ocean or on a coral reef, to use the technologies to see what's there that we wouldn't normally be able to see just by looking. Asking what your favorite, it is a hard question and it's almost like asking what your favorite kid is, but fortunately these are not kids. I probably have two things that I think will be the most fun. One is the interactive where we look at people who have traced their ancestry and family history and then all the way back to their origins. And connected to that, and actually which starts time-wise first, is we hope that it comes out nicely, is the interactive of human origins or human history. I'm really excited to see the documentary that the History Channel is doing for us. It's more of a timeline. I'm one of these people who also likes to see the steps that got us there and it also talked about the future and they're interviewing different people that were involved with the genomics project and also being forward-thinking. So there is an interactive called, what do you think that's in the exhibit? And I am most excited about that because it's asking the public questions where there's no one answer and asking for their opinions. My favorite part about the exhibit is not an element in the exhibit. It's the fact that we're going to have so many visitors experiencing this fairly complicated topic and we'll have the chance to test what works with them. I hope to get a lot smarter about how we talk about complicated science from this exhibit. Exhibits will be doing things that are somewhat intuitive to our visitors. The human genome is not intuitive to our visitors. So we have a big leap from what the visitor walks in with and what we hope they'll walk out with. And we're going to take this opportunity to test their changing perceptions as they go through the exhibit. So what I'd like to get from this exhibit really is a better understanding of how we communicate with our museum visitors on topics that are not trivial, but they're very important.


A really interesting study of 18,154 older adults born before 1966 showing that regular internet users had approximately half the risk of dementia compared to their same age peers who do not use the internet regularly. Participants using the internet between six minutes and two hours per day had the lowest risk of dementia. Just think about that. Six minutes to two hours a day, half. That is statistically significant. Huge difference. Half the risk. There's a lot of things I do to have the risk of heart disease or lung disease or cancer or you know. Of course. Yeah. Tell me what to eat. Tell me what not to do.


Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Geek Showoff. Would you please go absolutely crazy, clap and cheer and make an incredible wall of noise for your host, Steve Cross. Too much smoke. Hello everyone.   Give me a cheer if you're from the United Kingdom and technically the term SWAT would be more appropriate.  Hello everyone, welcome. It's fine. We're safe here. We're all geeks together. My name is Steve Cross. I am a geek comedian.  And I have to say I love geeks. A geek came up to me in Edinburgh after a fringe gig and she said you look like a number of famous people but none enough for me to say a name. That was amazing.  Awkward. So awkward. Because the thing is, right, they predate the invention of the spring-loaded hinge and are therefore very fragile.  I have to say I'm only here for the day, you know, this is my first EMF camp. I don't really understand it yet, so there is a question I just want to check with all of you. Right, because I've been around and looking and you're making quite a lot and I don't understand it and it frightens me. Just answer this, are you a cult and are you building a doomsday device? I thought it was, even the people hammering the rings, I was like they're hammering those very specifically as if some kind of fuel is going to be sprayed through a few of those. I knew it, I knew it, I should have gone with it. Give me a cheer if you were here for Simon Singh. Simon's amazing, Simon and I did a gig a couple of weeks ago, right, you think, you're sitting there thinking, we're the geekiest audience Steve has ever played to. Two weeks ago Simon Singh and I did a gig for the World Conference of Wikipedia Editors. Not a lie, it's called Wikipedia, we did it, in the main room of the Barbican, like so two and a half thousand seats, I won't tell you how many of them had people in because it's less impressive. The point of this gig, right, it was called Wikipedia, the missing bits. So Simon talked about how actually there is a page on Wikipedia about maths in the Simpsons, but it's woefully inadequate and doesn't have all of the examples from his book. And when they asked me, they were like Steve, do you want to do 10 minutes on anything that you should think should be in Wikipedia? I thought, well, hmm, I'm a narcissist, so me.  I held up my thousand meter swimming badge I got when I was 15, because I was like, here's the citation, I've actually got this, I know you could buy them on eBay for like £1.50, because I did think about upgrading to 2000 for the gig, but no. And so they made me a Wikipedia page during my set and then one of them deleted it during my set. The thing is, he was totally right to delete it, because it just read, Steve Cross is an accomplished performer, citation needed, but may have peaked early, citation needed. So it got deleted, then somebody rewrote it as Steve Cross with a lowercase c, because that tricks Wikipedia into thinking you're a different person and someone else deleted it again, all in the space of a 10 minute set on stage. So the thing is, after all of this, I got them all so excited and so angry, there are talk pages full of people going, I don't see why someone should have a Wikipedia page, just for doing 10 minutes at Wikimania. But I now have an actual proper Wikipedia page and I'm very proud of it, because the reason I wanted a Wikipedia page is that I have, sadly, and I want sympathy for this, recently it becomes simpler, and the thing is right, there's a wonderful new thing, because I've been in a relationship for a few years, this thing didn't exist, there's a wonderful thing called Tinder, any of you want Tinder by cheering? I thought I did, I'm sorry, but you wouldn't get picked up by my Tinder settings. So what I do is I use Tinder as if it was Grindr, so I set it to one kilometer, I'm basically looking for anyone who is in the same building as me. The thing about Tinder is that you don't get very much space for text, you get a big picture of your face and not very much space for text, and I thought, how can I use this space most efficiently linked to my Wikipedia page? That was the only reason I wanted one. But the trouble is now, right, I go on Tinder and I've got a Wikipedia page, and I'm like, I'm not sure I want to date anyone who hasn't got a Wikipedia page. So I've got this, in an email to Julie Warehouse from Wikipedia, the email read, please could you add dating functionality to Wikipedia? So that I can use my page as a profile and match with other people that I like on Wikipedia. And then as I thought for a minute, that'd be nice. Turn your phone on in the morning, fire it up, go to Wikipedia Dating, by the way, it's Wikipedia Dating, anyone who heard any other pronunciations, it's definitely not that. I go to Wikipedia Dating and it would be like, bing, you have three matches. And I'm like, oh, that's very nice, I've got to be matched on Wikipedia Dating. Match number one, scar at your handsome. Oh, match number two, Karen Gillard. Oh, that's very good as well. Match number three, the Taco Bell Corporation of North America. Slightly disappointing. I do recommend to any of you to go and visit my Wikipedia page, which really, I think, actually now needs a link to the Wikipedia page for passive aggression. Especially if you go on the talk page, I'll give you an example. My Wikipedia page has two lines and five references, like there's bugger all on it, but people fight like crazy. So if you went on it a week ago, it started, Steve Cross is a comedian. It now starts, Steve Cross is a self-described comedian. People are absolutely horrible. Right, on your compare tonight, it's my job to get you happy and cheering for all of the acts that are coming up here late at night. They haven't had enough to drink yet. Unlike me, I don't have plenty. So there you go, there's clapping and cheering for you. So I'm going to do a quick clapping and cheering test. We're going to get your clapping and cheering levels bang on. So first of all, we're going to do baseline clapping and cheering. We need to buy out the lowest amount of clapping and cheering you can do. I'll give you a scenario. You're on a dating website.  Yes, I would like to go on a date. And they say, would you like to go and see a superhero film? And you go, I like superhero films. They're very good, aren't they? They're very now. They're all the life's guys. Let's go and see a superhero film. And they take you to see a superhero film, but it's Green Lantern. And we're doing baseline clapping and cheering. We're not firing and cheering. That's good. They are crying. That's good. That's perfect. Let's go for a medium amount of clapping and cheering. Here you go. You're on a dating website. Man, woman, other, whatever you're into, superhero film, life's guys. And they take you to see it. And it's Avengers, but you've already seen it. So a medium amount of clapping and cheering. That's your medium amount of clapping and cheering. You are hard, hard people. I love it. I love it. Right. I want you to imagine you're on a dating website. They say, do you want to come and see a film? And they're like, I like that. I like that. And when you get there, it's not a superhero film at all. It's just a two hour, looped, animated gift of Hulk punchy Thor in the face. Over and over again.  Please welcome to the city regal audience. You need a place to rest. Come in. You need a place to rest. It has happened. That's why I'm using it as an example. You can also fly kites. And that's what we use today. So trick question. So can anybody tell me when you use kites and when you use balloons for aerial photography? Oh my God, you guys are geniuses. Yes, that too. The most important thing about public lab that I want to share with you is that of course public lab is a non-profit organization. We do sell kits, but all of the stuff that we make, all of the tools, all of the prototypes are inclusive. We really put at the forefront that everything that we use has to be locally sourced and affordable. It's really for the people who usually won't have access, who usually are excluded, who can't leverage. And do advocacy in their favor. We consider everyone has an expertise, so you might not like to code. You might not like to take air photos and go out there. But you like distributing flyers, you like drawing pictures that animate the campaign, etc. And storytelling is at the heart of this. So these are some of the pictures, some of the stuff that we've done. I do a lot of stuff with kids. To be honest, I really like adults too. So I do a lot of stuff with adults too, in terms of kite mapping. And I want to show you really quickly. So this is what we use today, it's a pick of it. This was not the workshop today. This is it. So if you recognize this place, so this was one of the photos that we took up from one of the kites today. Do you recognize your car? And that's part of the EMF camp. We can see crop circles. We have crop circles if you want to go visit them. Actually somebody suggested that we do crop circles. And let me see. Children. Oh, I skipped a slide. What I wanted to show you, a lot of people have asked me, well, you use kites and balloons, but why don't you use drones? Because they're cooler and you can operate them. Well, for many reasons actually. One of the most important things for me is that we want to really promote openness and accountability. So a drone, you'll see one buzzing and flying around. There's a concealed operator with a kite or a balloon. The things going around there somewhere. You have a reel and you're attached to your kite. It's playful, it's inviting, and you connect it to your kite. And you want to connect with the communities that you're mapping. Because, well, it's private property and you want to create connections. So I have to go because my taxi is here. I want to show you one last thing. So that's the balloon mapping kits going around over there. We've hacked cameras to make them into infrared. So I would pass it around. But then I wouldn't be able to get it back in time to get my taxi. But a simple camera, just a very cheap 20 quid camera. With a filter. A very simple blue filter. You open up your camera. You exchange the filter inside. And you change it for a blue filter. And voila, you have a near-infrared camera that you can send up. And it can help you. It can help farmers detect plant health and water table issues. And solve problems of the world. So hugs and bye. Ladies and gentlemen! I'd like to apologize to Cindy for the projector issues during that. But I have to say, I'm very disappointed with all of you. Because all day people have been saying things like, I made a submarine with two arduinos and some gaffer tape. And I made a spaceship with two arduinos and some gaffer tape. And I did blacksmithing with two arduinos and some gaffer tape. None of you ran up here with two arduinos and some gaffer tape and built a replacement projector with you people! Right, that was Cindy. Cindy's amazing.  She's all the way from UCL's Interaction Centre. She's world-famous and she's going to tell you why.  That's bad. Okay, cool. Yeah, so I'm Sarah Wiseman. You've probably heard of me like Steve says I'm world-famous. No, okay, I'm a researcher at UCL. I didn't get any reaction for that, but that's okay. You're all star-struck, I can tell. Anyway, yeah, I'm a researcher at UCL and I research errors. So I have to say up front that any errors that occur during this set are both planned and well choreographed, okay? So just get ready for those. Now, I want to talk to you about errors, right? But Sarah, I hear you cry. Why should we listen to you talk about anything? You do not even have your PhD yet. Well, firstly, that is a really mean thing to bring up right now. Okay, I'm trying to do a set and I think that's quite inappropriate for you to put out because PhDs are difficult, so I think that was really inappropriate of you. And secondly, actually I don't need a PhD because I have something better. Right, so as an academic, we're always striving for other academics to cite us, to read our work, to say that we're brilliant, and I decided that was not enough. I thought I would aim higher, which is why I was quoted in a national newspaper. That's a Sarah Wiseman there, University College London. And actually what's better about this is that no longer am I a lowly PhD student, I have been upgraded to a scientist. Well, thanks, thanks. Thank you very much.  Thank you very much, thank you very much. And as such, as such, I come up with gems such as this. Customers who make mistakes are not idiots, right? That's what my PhD is. That's three or four years' work to come up with the quote, customers who make mistakes are not idiots. That's science though, right? You're not going to come up with an insight like that on Wonders of the Universe, okay? That is knowledge. Okay, anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway. You got the idea. I study errors and I really like errors. But as a result of my interest in errors, it actually makes me a really, really bad friend. And let me tell you why. So a few months ago, my mate, he broke up with his girlfriend. It's the usual story. She went out, got wasted, and then ended up sleeping with someone else.  And he was saying to me, oh, but Sarah, she said she made a mistake. Maybe she won't do it again. And I was like, no, no, what are you thinking? You have to break up with her. Because what she's just, what she's just done there is label a slip error as a mistake. And if she can make that type of mix-up with error terminology, who knows what else she's capable of. That did not go down as well with him as it did with you just there. Let me tell you, okay? Okay, but okay, I'm going to help you guys be a better friend than I am, just so that you can watch out for this type of thing. So a slip and a mistake. They're different. Now, a slip error happens when you make the right plan in your mind, but then for whatever reason, it happens wrongly when you execute it. So the classic example of this is the Freudian slip, where you think one thing, but you say your mother, pause for laughter, pause for laughter. Great, cool. And then a mistake error is where you execute your plan perfectly well, but then for whatever reason, the plan that you actually made was wrong to begin with. So an example of a mistake would be incorrectly thinking it was an appropriate thing to lecture your friend about error terminology whilst he was going through severe emotional trauma. I learned that one. I learned that one. That was a very bad mistake on my part. Okay, let's talk about examples of errors. So I have a question for you. What do bar charts and NHS data about patient record keeping have in common? The answer is I'm about to try and make a joke with both of those, so get ready. So here we go. This data, the data I'm about to show you, is data that has honestly been taken from the real world from NHS records. It was collated in a British medical journal about error. Now, I'm going to show you here a graph, a bar graph of all of the people, well, not all of the people, a subset of the people that were admitted to geriatric care between the year 2003 and 2009. Okay, geriatric care meaning care for the elderly. There is something off about this graph. And I don't just mean the fact that I haven't labeled the x-axis, okay? I know that some of you have spotted that and think you're very clever, and I'm sorry for not doing that. Now, it doesn't just happen at this end of the scale. It happens at the other end of the scale. This next graph is a subset of people that were admitted to adolescent psychiatric care. No one on that graph is under the age of 30.  So either, in these two instances, right, what's happened? Either a medical worker has made some stupid error when filling in an incoming patient form, either it's error, or it's example that Benjamin Button syndrome exists, and I think that's more likely, right? And it's not just ages that this is happening with. It's not just ages. This graph is a graph showing the number of men that were admitted to various pregnancy-related wards in the NHS. How does that happen? I just don't understand. So, again, either an error when they were entering the data or example that this type of a film is more of a documentary than we ever realized, right? Now, okay, all those examples, I just showed you of examples of error in the medical domain. They're all quite funny, really. No one got hurt, some men maybe started eating for two, but that was it. Nothing bad happened, and we can have a laugh about them. But the reason I bring them up is because error in the medical domain, unfortunately, isn't always like that. I mean, it's not too hard to imagine, but sometimes when errors occur in the medical domain, people get hurt or even die, and we read about this sort of thing in the news all of the time. And so it's my job as a researcher into the design of technology to understand what happens when we make these errors, what is going on with humans when we do stupid things like this, and can the technology stop that from happening? Now, in order to answer that type of question, I need to understand more about error. And I'm a scientist, and so I like doing things in the lab. Now, there are two reasons why it's hard to study error in a lab setting, right? Number one, when you get people into a lab, it's quite artificial, and errors that they make, they're not necessarily realistic. It's hard to generalize to the real world. There's very low ecological validity. And the second reason that it's hard to study errors in a lab setting is that essentially it makes you a really terrible person, because what you're doing is bringing someone into a lab, sitting in a room with them, and then just waiting for them to fail. And that's just bad for the soul, okay? I don't like doing that. But luckily for us, there is an example of there's a real world source of error that we can tap into. And we at UCL, we have started using Twitter. Now, what we're doing is we're asking people to switch from the number one use of Twitter, which is getting overly, but legitimately, irate about baking competitions. Totally legit. And we're asking them instead to help our research, we're asking them to take part in research with us. And what we're doing is quite simple. We're saying, hey, if you make an error, can you just tweet about it, and then all you have to do is add the hashtag erodiory. And then what happens, our website erodiory.org scans through Twitter, collects all of these tags up, and then we as researchers have this amazing database of slips and mistakes that are happening in the real world. And it's fantastic, because it's hilarious. Okay? And it's also good for science. But I'm going to just talk you through a few examples of erodiory that we've collected. I'm going to lead with my absolute all-time favorite error. It's maybe one of the most subtle and discreet errors that we collect, but it's absolutely my favorite. So we want people to be tweeting about erodiory. Occasionally, we get people tweeting about erodiory. I love it. So either cows are tweeting from the workplace, or this is a rather hilarious meta error about error. And that's why I love it. This is my absolute favorite instance of erodiory. Okay, anyway, let's look at the actual things that we're collecting. So the errors we collect range from the mundane to from like using a pin code to enter to deactivate your burglar alarm or something like that. Let's do some learning. That is called an associative action slip, where you take one action that you would do in one circumstance and apply it to something similar but not right. They range from the mundane, like this, to the kind of silly, like this, forgetting to remove the cocktail stick before eating it into a burger. That is called an omission slip. From the mundane to the silly to the really, really silly. That is someone hurting themselves whilst air drumming to Africa by Toto. All of those came from my sister.  So I'm just going to wrap up here with like a request because you guys can help us with our research, right? All I want you to do is the next time you do something completely insane and no-one's around to see it, could you like tweet about it so that we could see it and then just add error diary to it.  Anyway, cool. Thank you so much for listening. That's my Twitter handle if you want to get in touch or talk about error or anything like that. Sarah Wiseman, ladies and gentlemen! As both the compare and educator, I feel we ought to take a moment to reflect on what we've learned. Amy Wiseman changes her Twitter avatar more often than is normal for anyone on that surface. Also, she changes her haircut three times in a four month period. That's incredible. Sorry, I forgot what the talk was about. I am very single. Ladies and gentlemen, our next act, you're going to love our next act. He's got his own show on Sky One which you can watch. Has it been canned? Or just watch it on an illegal thing. Don't do that. But it's fine. Do that. No, because the thing is you're all super clever and can route it through Uzbekistan or something and never get caught. If I try anything like that, I'll just type in his name, the police are outside. Because I don't know how to do this stuff. He's got a Wikipedia page. His Wikipedia page does not start with a subtle put down of him. It's a man whose Wikipedia page starts is a geek comedian. I'm incredibly jealous of him. Please welcome to the stage Tom Scott! Thank you, Steve. A couple of things there. The reason I have a Wikipedia page is because I'm an administrator and that Wikipedia administrator wanted to troll me. That's a... I can't believe you said that! And the wonderful thing is, I was on a technology show on Sky One about three, four years ago. It was not popular enough for all the episodes to make it onto BitTorrent. Anyway, I also have a linguistics degree, which is why I'm actually up here. And linguistics degrees are interesting. Linguistics slogans should basically be science-honest. Because it is! It genuinely is. There is all sorts of wonderful impressive research out there into the way the human brain works, into how we understand sentences, into how computers can be taught language. But I still have a BA at the end of my name, which I'm ever so slightly bitter about. But it also means I have some good anecdotes. I'll be honest, that's pretty much all you get out of a linguistics degree, if you're not going into... out of a linguistics degree.  There are two things you can do with a linguistics degree. Number one is speech therapy, which don't get me wrong, is a very important part of the world. And number two is teacher linguistics. So I make websites for a living. But it, let's say, leaves you with a few good anecdotes. I don't have any slides, and if I think that's the sound of everyone just going and going, oh, God, audience interaction. I'm not going to pull anyone up on stage, but I'm going to ask you to use your mouths just a little. Not one dirty snicker at that.  Thank you very much. I'm actually going to ask you to use your tongs a little. One, thank you. Lovely. And what I'm going to explain is why Jonathan Ross can't pronounce his r's. I nearly said he had trouble with his r's, but that's going to make more snickering. One, again, it's you in the front. Why Jonathan Ross can't pronounce his r's, and why you probably can't either. So what I want everyone to do here is just to say the word around, after three. So one, two, three. That was really good. Normally, Steve, about half the audience does that, and the rest just goes, that was really clear. Let's do it one more time. One, two, three. Okay, now just the first one, just the over. One, two, three.  So do it one more time and concentrate. Try and work out, and what normally happens is at least one person in the audience, if I say concentrate on how that's going, one person will just fail to say it because they'll kind of go, oh yeah. But let's try it.  So one, two, three, a-ra. Not one person said the a-nd on the end. Normally there's one person who speaks a-nd. Which is good because I didn't get to point at them this time. All right, so there are two ways that could be doing it. One is like an L, a-la. I have trouble pronouncing this version. So a-la, a-ra, a-la, a-ra.  A-la, a-ra, a-la, a-ra. And see if they sound the same to you. A-la, a-ra, a-la. Is your tongue doing the same thing? The other way is it's kind of like a weak V. Kind of like a-va, a-ra, a-va, a-ra. So let's try that. A-va, a-ra, a-va, a-ra. Okay, there will be outliers. There'll be a few people in the room which neither of those worked for. So let's try it. First of all, with an L. So a-la, a-ra, a-la, a-ra. And now let's try with the V. A-va, a-ra, a-va. Which one sounds more natural? If it sounds more natural that the same things happening when you do L and R, a-la, a-ra, they're both tong off the top of the mouth. Raise your hand now. That is under half the audience. I'm expecting it to be under half. Thank you. Because some people won't be able to work it out and that's fine. And some people have other ways of doing it. What about the V? A-va, a-ra. Hands up for that. That's actually more hands than the first one. Which is interesting because technically that's a speech defect. Now, the first thing you drummed into, like, very first lesson of any linguistics degree is that you are meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive. You never, ever, ever say that this is the correct way to do something. You say that this is the standard way and that this is the non-standard way. And that's not a value judgment, it's just a different way of doing things. Technically, however, that's a speech defect. And it's the same one I've got. I've always pronounced it that way. It's the same one Jonathan Ross has. It's just, he never learned to cope with it. Because 50 years ago, that really was, that was known as a defect, that was something that was, if you went to elicution lessons, you were told absolutely not to do. It was trained out of you. And people might even be able to notice you doing that. I'm guessing all of you who put the V up, you've never, ever noticed any problem really saying the word R. No one has gone, that sounds weird to you. Maybe there's one in the room who actually had elicution lessons and knew that, but no one's noticed that. Maybe you've noticed that you have a little bit of trouble saying the word, like, practice. If I come in really close on the mic here, you hear that coming out of my mouth there. If I say break, I haven't quite coped with it, but I'm nearly there. Some people will be able to pronounce this really clearly. I can't. Now, if you were the type who does the L and the R, and by the way, for all those who never understood why a lot of East Asian languages continually confuse L and R, this is why, because in those languages, they are the same sound. You can make either sound, it means the same thing. That's the reason. And if you were like me growing up, you're like, oh, I don't understand why that happens, because the V, it sounds like down there, L's up here. That's why it happens.  And here's the thing, 50 years ago, like I said, that was a defect. That was a really small thing. Right now, in this room, can I just get a quick... Just... All right, I think I can do this, because I'm with the geeky audience. All right, if you say it like the L, if you put your hand up for L, and you are... Okay, so put your hand up for L. Now, drop that if you are under 30. Okay, there's still about five, six hands up. Okay, put your hand up for V. Drop it if you're under 30. Right. That is not what I expected. No, that's fair. Science! It works. Because here's the thing. No one noticed that happening. And this is going to be a slightly unsatisfying end, because ideally, right now, I would unveil the mystery of why that's happened. But no one knows. It's the fastest speech defect that has ever been tracked around the English language. 50 years ago, virtually nonexistent. 30 years ago, fairly prevalent kind of Estuary English southeast. Now, we're at a Hacker Camp in the middle of the UK. I'm talking to people from all around Britain, and the defect is now the majority. It's now the standard way of doing it. No one's noticed it. No one can explain it. No one knows why all of a sudden this is the way it's done. But it is. If anyone wants to start a linguistics degree and find an answer to that, there's probably a really good paper in it. But in the meantime, there's one thing I'll leave you with, which is this. I have seen it happening in the audience. People are still going, ba, na, ba, na, ba, na. There's one thing I'll leave you with. All those people with the V, do you have trouble learning? Not going to ask for hands up, just let me know if you had trouble learning to roll your R's. As a la-la. This is why. Because, and this blew my mind, first year of linguistics doing phonetics, this is what I learned. Everyone who goes, it's really easy, just kind of do an R, but longer. Only works if it's off the top of your tongue. Is not how I learned to make an R. It's not how you guys learn to make an R. It's completely different. It is basically putting your tongue like a little bit where an L is, maybe a little bit further back. Yeah, a little bit further back. And then just holding it there, letting air out, and just letting your tongue kind of go, off the top of your mouth. Everyone here who has never been able to roll your R's before, tongue at the top of your mouth, like you're doing a L, move it back a little bit of a gap, go for it. Love that sound.  I'll leave you with that. I've been Tom Scott. Thank you very much. Tom Scott, ladies and gentlemen! I don't want to bring all of this back to my love life, but I have two love life related pronunciation of the letter R stories. Genuinely, once again, after a gig, someone tried to chat me up. She said to me, you have a very Edwardian R. That was it. She thought I'd be like, I've always been waiting for someone to say that to me. The other thing is, I went out with someone who couldn't roll her R's either that way or in the kind of way you do when you're really cold. She just couldn't do either of them, so I would spend my life going up to her and going, what noise does a lion make? And she would go, grrr. And I'd say, what do you do when it's cold? And she would go, brrr. Yeah. It made me far happier than it should have done. Didn't we enjoy Tom? Someone go and put self-described on his Wikipedia page. Our next act. He is one of the organizers of Science Showoff in Bristol with me. He's a big star of the YouTube scene. Apparently that's possible. I'm so far behind. Like, I'm barely, like Tom was at Sky One. I was like, what is Sky One? Like, brrr. You guys probably, anyway, yes. Right.  You can go and see him explaining why he's just blown something up in a thousand different ways. He was nearly a blue Peter presenter until they realized that modern cameras are incapable of filming three haircuts simultaneously. Would you please welcome to the stage Ross Extra! I'm five foot five. This is unfair. Hello Electromagnetic Field Festival!  So we're going to start off with this person, Cleopatra. Can anyone here tell me how Cleopatra died? You're wrong. You're wrong. It's a common misconception that she died by an aspite. But an aspite isn't very romantic. There's a lot of diarrhea and vomiting involved. It takes hours and hours to die from an aspite. So instead, nowadays, we think that she died from a cocktail of hemlock, wolf spain and opium, which sounds brilliant. And we're going to be talking about poisons today. Now if you are going to get any ideas from this talk, I urge you, please, please don't poison anyone. I mean, not only can it end up pretty messy, but you're very likely to get caught. So I want you to remember this guy here. So this is US Sergeant Marcus Merrimont. Now back in 1958, he was on duty and he was out on tour and he was always coming back to visit his family at home and he was trying to poison his wife. And this is what he's most famous for.  Because he wanted to run away with his girlfriend but couldn't face the shame of the divorce in the 1950s. No, no, no. Perfectly fine with murder, though. Murder, good divorce. No, no, no. So each time he would come home on leave from tour, he would try and poison his wife with arsenic. He would fail time and time again and eventually he succeeded. Yes, well done. But he almost got away with it except for the fact that toxicologists looked at his wife's hair and what they were able to see were bands of arsenic in her hair and each one corresponded to a point in time when he visited home from tour. So toxicologists are really good at their jobs. If you're going to kill someone, don't poison them. It's a really bad way of doing it. So today we're going to be talking about something which is incredibly toxic. We're going to start with something that's really poisonous. The reason I want to talk about the Daily Mail to start with is because I'm inspired by their ongoing campaign to categorise every known object in the world into things which cause cancer and things which don't cause cancer. Except we're going to have a go at doing this with poison. So what I'm going to do is show you a list of various different things. We've got apples, vodka, water, potatoes, daffodils, chocolate. I want you to take five seconds to think about this. Which one of these do you think are poisonous and which ones do you think are non-poisonous? Okay, go. Four, three, two, one. Alright, so keep that in your mind. Here's the answer. So you guys got it. Did anyone else get this? Yes. Everything is poisonous. Now the reason for this is because all of these things have something in common. They're all made of chemicals. Now some people out there would have you believe that chemicals are bad. Chemicals are very bad. We want you to have our alternative natural things. You can even get something like this. This is a chemistry set.  Now, either this is a box of lies or you're going to have a very disappointed child on your hands when they open this up to discover a pure vacuum on the inside. This is a more realistic lab environment, though. I'll give them that. Sorry, Jimmy. There's no funding this year. No chemicals for you. Let's start with the least poisonous thing from our list. We're going to start with water. Back in 2007, a woman called Jennifer Strange poisoned herself with water. It's very sad, obviously, but it means that we don't have to do clinical trials for these kinds of things because there are idiots out there to do the work for us. We weren't toxicologists to measure poison in something. They like to come up with something called the lethal dose 50. Everything is made of chemicals, so we've all got that message. LD 50 means the dose which is required to kill half of a given population. Jennifer Strange was taking part in something called a water-drinking competition. Now, where in the world could have the water for a water-drinking competition? Does anyone have a guess as to where in the world this could possibly be? Yes.  Jennifer Strange was taking part in this water-drinking competition to win a Nintendo Wii. She's doing half the work for me. She's writing all the jokes. Now, the median lethal dose for water is absolutely huge. It's about 90 grams per kilogram. In other words, to kill everyone over this side of the room, you guys will find 50% of the audience here would be about 6.5 litres of water, so that's absolutely huge. Let's compare this to a few of the other things on our list. You'd need 2 kilograms of sugar. If you think you could stomach that much sugar in one go, you can have a go at doing that as well if you feel free.  That's about 10 of these little pots of nutmeg that you might get. That's really committed. Well done if you do this. Ethanol. So, who here is drinking tonight? Yes, very good, very good.  So, that's pure ethanol, by the way, not just a pint in a bit. Some of you are very confused, Nick. I've had way more than this. I'm a sumer! No. No, it's pure ethanol, so it's just over a pint. Ooh, my favourite of the drugs. Caffeine. It's brilliant. So good.  Once again, you need to be very committed for that one. Potatoes! Does anyone here not eat the green bits on crisps?   The reason for this is because potatoes contain something called solanine, which basically fucks with the mitochondria in your cells.  And the green parts of the potato contain more of this solanine. But in order for you to have even enough to reach the median lethal dose 50, you would need 10 potatoes raw. So once again, you can eat 10 raw potatoes. Well done. Well done to you. Braver person than me. Daffodils. They look all welsh and cuddly, but they're also poisonous as well. So their official name, Narcissus, comes from the Greek legend, Narcissus, so he fell in love with his reflection and he stayed there for so long staring at his reflection that he died and named Narcissus.  Apples. Now I might have heard that apples contain cyanide. That's because of this compound here. It's something called amygdalin. And you might notice that at this little location here we have some cyanide. So how much of an apple would you need to eat? Well, the amygdalin is actually in the seeds of the apple. You'd need about 100 grams and you'd need about 200 milligrams of amygdalin and then your body breaks that down to produce about 10 milligrams of cyanide and about 50 milligrams is considered lethal but a few drops would certainly do the trick so you can give that a go as well.  You don't want to get too close to this guy and that's because out of his skin he leaks this compound here Batrachotoxin which just sounds so badass anyway so about 10 milligrams of that as well will do the trick for you but this leads us on to the most poisonous and deadly compound in the world. Would you guys like to see this compound? Yes. This is the deadliest thing on the planet. Now I'm not talking about people I'm talking about what he and millions of other people have voluntarily done to their faces Botox so the what causes Botox is a bacterium called botulinium now botulinium produces a neurotoxin which paralyzes some of the muscles and causes a bit of inflammation makes you look very young and very luscious like you haven't got any wrinkles and the type that's used in the world is a type A of this neurotoxin now this is produced in vast quantities every year as a consequence of the cosmetics industry but the lethal dose for this type A botulinium toxin is 70 nanograms in other words to have if you well if you took half a kilogram of this botulinium toxin distributed it evenly enough it would not only kill everyone in this room everyone in Milton Keynes everyone in the UK it would kill every person on the planet with just half a kilogram of this so that has been poisoned Ivan Ross thank you all very much Ross Extern ladies and gentlemen subtle self-publicity I quite like that let's get rid of that are you enjoying the show so far I have to say if you've if you've enjoyed this we've got one more act coming up if you have enjoyed this there will be a science show off in Birmingham on September the 6th there's one in London on September the 16th there's one in Bristol on September the 18th if you want to you know come to science show of shows or geek show of shows go to we have our web which is scienceshowoff.org we are facebook.com slash science show off we are twitter.com slash science show off that's also the account I use to tweet when I'm drunk and anything basically if you stand in your bathroom and say science show off three times I will appear the trick is to put down a pentagram of talc before you say it because then I'm trapped because I'm frightened of its drying properties I worry about it anyway so that's everything you need to know there's a little bit of setting up going on so I'm going to wait for the setting up to be all happy before I introduce ladies and gentlemen are you ready to meet your final geek show off of the night many of you will know him as the man from ntk.net those of you too young to remember him that was beta.com before beta.com existed those of you too young to remember beta.com it was buzzfeed before buzzfeed existed those of you too young to remember buzzfeed you are so lucky I'm going to do my one buzzfeed joke who invented buzzfeed Paul Simon with the song 50 ways to leave your lover that's what I'm leaving on just so you know that's where we're going no I'm going to bring him his microphone stand so we can do this properly oh there's more oh sides of course Dave's brought his slides in a pdf can I get a boo yes no no it says it says not not in a pdf in capital letters admittedly the email has the word pdf in but it is preceded by not in a anyway right I'm going to stop trolling him and heckling him from the stage which is the arches kind of heckle which means you're going to have to show him double love to make up for what a git I am are you ready to do that ladies and gentlemen please welcome to stage Dave Green thank you I'm I'm very pleased this is working is that loud enough do you want more yeah a bit more louder let's have like I assume you all know this here we go I'm going to have to do it weirdly sweet dreams are made of this who am I to disa join in if you know it it's on the screen the world and the sevens see everybody's looking for something yes they are some of them want to use some of them just want to be you some of them they want to amuse you yeah some of them just want to be amused and here's my kids oh yeah here we go there we go so you've done brilliantly give yourselves a round of applause and I'll pretend it's for me I've got control of it again hi everyone thank you you've been very indulgent so far my name's Dave Green as Steve generously pointed out oh this is what I'm talking about this is like these old slides every time I do this talk this amazing keytar that you could build yourself gets cheaper than the 40 pounds I claim on here so that's fake Dave Green on Twitter Museum of Techno is my friend Dave he'll be appearing later who's in who's in my band if people do know me from NTK I don't know if many of you can read this NTK just found things on the internet and made fun of it which was radical in those days this is my favourite this is from the Games magazine Edge where clearly they got a press release saying that a new cyber pet which is popular in I think 97 is where this at the budget for the new cyber pet Finfin from Fujitsu was a ludicrous 70 billion dollars now clearly this is a press release talking about 70 billion yen but like Edge hadn't bothered with that they thought oh 70 billion dollars that does sound ludicrous doesn't it like what idiots Fujitsu are yes 70 billion dollars even then it was the gross national product of Portugal and you've got to wonder what was Fujitsu's business model with that presumably you know maybe 7 billion people in the world the profit margin was 10 dollars then if they saw one to everyone in the world they'd get close to breaking even I find that hilarious anyway what I do now among other things this is my band Fake Bit Polite Nick who those of you who haven't planned your evening better will know are coming on later this is again my friend Dave played there on the mic this little red thing you see the red thing near his foot does anyone know what that is oh stompbox we've got some guesses Dave runs a website called the Museum of Techno which is still live and I urge you to check out here he's playing the keyboard but you know and he's very jealous of me playing this guitar hero this child's guitar hero guitar over in the corner not going through that massive Marshall amplifier at all so we found like did anyone play the rock band guitar hero games yeah how recently in the last year in the 2000s alright anyway no they brought out loads of these very sturdy peripherals and then instantly ran out of money because people stopped down in the songs however the keytar which I'm modeling for you now is remarkably resilient and also outputs MIDI which is a useful detail in the FAQ from the keytar people say can I use the if the keytar is a real instrument why doesn't it make any sound and then it goes on to it do people know what MIDI is show of hands it's instructions for other musical instruments so that's why it doesn't make sound of its own what Dave Pate was doing he's got this is a Nord synthesizer no one guessed it I'm not disappointed it's very obscure so he's here you can see him he's gaffotaped it onto the bottom of his keytar using well obviously gaffotaped and the and the the MIDI interface is just running through that that's just not going down very well at the musical comedy awards earlier this year I didn't have one of those synths so I thought this would make some good music but it looks like it's a hundred dollars I couldn't understand the hardware for the CID emulator shield for the Arduino which is disappointing but I did discover that there's what they call the mozzy sound synthesis library for the Arduino any Arduino programmers in yeah like any Raspberry Pi people in the same people interesting anyway the great great great great thing about mozzy is it does a lot of the synthesis stuff for you so and everyone knows what an Arduino looks like I could have anyway this is the the other innovative part of my design is I'm not very good at soldering so I tried to do it all like the the weird spidery creation over on the right is a filter that apparently apparently you don't need and we seem to be getting away with without and then this is just me taking this is just this is raw kind of like serial data coming coming in from the MIDI Kita that I'm getting into various nano outputs um here we go last time the last show off I showed some C code and everyone went and I wasn't sure if it's because they don't normally have C code at geek show off or because my C++ was so bad reassuringly I feel I've selected a non-controversial segment of my code here this is how good the MIDI libraries are for the Arduino basically you can just specify a lot of things that happen and then radically as you can see when I press this button here it'll start yeah it'll go back to sweet dreams made of this um these are my other these are my other patterns this is quite a dangerously larger to having an Arduino I'd like to talk to someone about that afterwards but I've also got um so any any site readers in the audience will know this one oh yeah it's octaves so I use this kind of blue Monday oh I've got like there we go um the other so that's I think more of a maybe more of a try a sawtooth wave the other techno innovation oh yeah I don't know what that's doing actually oh it's back on that again so here I'm controlling the duty cycle of the square wave for all you synthesizer fans so there it's quite strong and there it's quite greedy I was very pleased with that like um and then this this is doing it automatically to give you a kind of techno beat to it no it's not doing it it's quite perhaps it's quite a subtle effect anyway and um the other the other thing I was very pleased with is the uh like the other the most what's the other classic effect from techno music anyone got any got any favourites anyone anyone you can shout them out you can just bleep them I thought it's the you know it's that kind of it's the it's the delay is that what you're going to say it's the delay where you make a note like you make a note on the beat and then it continues to repeat on the beat now the Arduino clearly yes he agrees with me thank you sir what Xing oh sorry I thought it was this guy I was waving I was pointing at this guy in front yes he was blocking you anyway so back with the techno um the uh so the Arduino's only got 32 kilobytes of uh of RAM so you can't have a proper uh echo or delay or delay loop in it what you can do is take the take the envelope of the note and just kind of cheat it because if you know what the BPM of the track is you can take as it's decaying like that you can probably I don't know all the top uh the top four bits or something so it'll kind of spike like that and I think that will do it yeah you see uh it sounds better lower down and that's I think so that's now I like uh uh I like and this is this is my kind of what time is love tribute I don't know does anyone know the words for this it's it's a bit rap orientated I don't know how long I've done now so I'm getting the wrap up noise see what else I've got in here anyone know anyone know this from um from the game spy hunter oh yeah here we go there we go it's surprisingly difficult to play at this angle um little trick little surprise there when I came to the emf camp I thought it was named that after the epson mother funkers who had a hit in 1990 with this one hit wonder I mean I'm sure you know it yeah here we go so who knows this does anyone remember emf so I and again I've got the words so we've got no excuse I think I'll bring up the baseline when we go to one two one two three you burden me with your problems you'd have me tell no lies you'd always asking what it's all about don't listen to my replies you say to me I don't talk enough when I do I'm a fool these times I've spent I've realized I'm gonna shoot through and leave you these things you say your purple pros just gives you away the things you say your unbelievable yeah thanks I felt that was mostly me but no the rap at the end shall we seemingly last let's don't mean you can ask us pushing down the relative bringing out your higher self think of the fine times pushing down the better few instead of bringing out the positive one the world and everything you anchor to grace yourself with the grace of ease I know this world ain't what it seems it's what it's unbelievable it's so unbelievable so literally I think you can probably just fade this down now because I have no way I have very few ways of controlling it up here thanks for working so I think we'll probably be about ten minutes Steve will come off then there'll be about ten minutes set up for the full electropunk experience that is frankly qualitative thank you very much you've been beyond credibility to see me ladies and gentlemen one job left to do I'm going to shout the names of everyone you've seen tonight I want you to clap and cheer so loud you can't hear any of them oh and you've got to move all the chairs after we do this what was this how far back do you want them to move them reasonably far but he judges yourself ladies and gentlemen tonight you saw Cindy Regalano you saw Sarah Wiseman you saw Tom Scott you saw Ross Ekston and right at the end you saw Dave Green ladies and gentlemen I've been Steve Cross go from this place and lead brilliant and successful lives goodnight


Hello everyone, all attendees of the analysis, testing and automation track of Defcon CFZ in Session Room 1. The session will be three talks. There will be a short break after two of them. And our first speaker is Rob Richardson, whose contribution is gaining confidence with Cyprus tests. And for is your spot. Hi, welcome to gaining confidence with Cyprus tests. I'm great to join you here at devconf.cz. Today we're going to look at testing and in particular how to make browser testing really powerful. Here's the part where I tell you I am definitely going to post the slides on my site tonight. I've been that person chasing the speaker and it hasn't worked out well for me either. You can go to robrich.org. Let's head there now. Click on presentations here at the top. And here are the slides and the code they are online right now. While we're here on robrich.org, let's click on about me and we'll see some of the things that I've done recently. I'm a Microsoft developer advocate. I'm a Microsoft MVP, a Cyro developer advocate, a Docker captain and a friend of Redgate. AZ GiveCamp is really fun. AZ GiveCamp brings volunteer developers together with charities to build free software. We start building software Friday after work. Sunday afternoon, we deliver the completed software to charities. Sleep is optional, caffeine provided. If you're in Phoenix, come join us for the next AZ GiveCamp. Or if you'd like a GiveCamp here or wherever you're connecting from, give me up on email or Twitter and let's get a GiveCamp in your neighborhood too. Some of the other things that I've done, I worked on the Gulp project in version 2 and version 3 as a core contributor. That was a lot of fun. And one of the things I'm most proud of, I replied to a .NET ROCKS podcast episode. They read my comments on the air and they sent me a mug. So there's my claim to fame by coveted .NET ROCKS mug. So I'm not quite sure how this demo is going to go. Let's go take this out for a spin and see if it works. Let's fire up Cyprus. And let's see if we can run some tests. Cyprus is firing up. This is great. I can hear my fans kick up. That's awesome. Okay, so let's take this for a spin and see if the site is working. If it works, then I'm pretty confident that this project will work out really well. Let's fire this up and run some tests. A quick minute for it to compile. And now we'll kick off into our website. Yep, I'm getting a lot of green. It looks like the website is running. This is good. I think this talk will work great. Yes, excellent. Cool. So what did we just see? Cyprus is browser-based functional tests. Or said differently, Cyprus is end-to-end tests that run in a browser. It's an electron app and a browser plugin. It's based on top of Mocha and Chai. So if you're familiar with Mocha and Chai or you've used Jasmine or Jest, then you'll feel right at home inside Cyprus. Like many good stories, we started in the middle. Let's back up to the beginning and start talking about browser testing. When we take a look at browser testing, there's lots of different things that we can test and lots of different tools that we would use to test them. So, for example, we might test from here down, an end-to-end test. We might test this API. Maybe it's a REST or a GraphQL API. We might test this service. And by service, I mean this small unit of work. So no UI interactions in this case. We could call this a unit test. We might test this component. Now we have to mount this component, but we're still not getting user interactivity. We're just kind of clicking buttons and validating this unit works. And we can test that all of this works in a particular browser. So we'll probably use different tools for each of these tests. If we're doing unit tests, we might use Mocha with Chai or Jest. If we're testing that our unit tests work in a particular browser, we'll probably use Karma. If we want to mount components and unit test the components, we'll probably use TestUtils. TestUtils has a version for Angular, React, and View. And so once I plug in TestUtils, I can now run those tests in really interesting ways. If I want to do API tests, API tests, well, I don't need a browser at all. I can just fire requests at an API and validate the response codes that I get. I'd probably use SuperTest. For end-to-end tests, I could use Selenium or Cypress, TestCafe or PlayWrite. Let's double-click into end-to-end tests. Now the cool part is, as you grab the slides from robrich.org, any of these blue links are clickable and you can get to the actual project and learn more about that project. So let's double-click into end-to-end tests. Selenium.  Selenium is a Java app, and you can connect to it from various languages and various IDEs. There's also some recorders that allow you to record Selenium tests. On the downside, Selenium is kind of hands-off. It just runs browser Win32 events. It doesn't even interact really with the DOM very much. And so the tests are slow and brittle. Did the test time out waiting for the API to finish? Well, let's increase the timeout. Now they're slow. Let's try rerunning the tests. Now they're brittle. Yeah, Selenium is great at establishing this, but it doesn't create the best tests. Next up, we can take a look at Cypress. Cypress is an electron IDE. It has easy debugging tools. It has kind of a jQuery feel, which may not be great. And because it's deeply integrated into the browser, it only supports the browsers that are built, so no Safari. It is great at taking videos and screenshots as your test runs. So if you get a failure, you can watch the video of how it played, even if it ran headless. Test Cafe. If you're using DevExpress, Test Cafe may be right at home. Test Cafe uses CSS selectors, as opposed to jQuery-like syntax. And so it might feel a little bit more at home. But Test Cafe has a really odd assertion syntax. It isn't like Chai or Jest, so that may be another hurdle. With Test Cafe, you also spend a lot of time marshalling content between the browser page and the test harness. So you'll end up creating these methods that go grab content and send it back. Next up, Playwright. Playwright was built by the people who built Puppeteer, and so it feels a lot like Puppeteer. If you're familiar with Puppeteer, you'll feel right at home with Playwright. On the upside, there are lots of different languages supported, like JavaScript, TypeScript, Python, C-Sharp, Go, and others. On the downside, it feels like the assertion syntax was kind of bolted on to Puppeteer. So it's a little weird. You also spend a lot of time marshalling content between the browser and the test, much like you would with a Puppeteer experience. So any tool here will accomplish a particular job, and ultimately which browser automation tool you choose is definitely up to your field. But let's take a look at Cypress and how that works. So we start off by doing an npm install. Once we've got Cypress installed, we can say npx-cypress-open, and the first time it opens, it will actually scaffold out a bunch of example tests, which is excellent. Let's go dig into that IDE. Here's the Cypress IDE, and I can see the example test that it created for me. Now that's great. I flip them over to TypeScript, but by default it will create them as JavaScript. Here in the IDE, I can pick a particular test that I want to run, or I can run all tests. I can also choose which browser I want. It will discover all the browsers that I have installed on my machine, and Electron is the one that is built into it. It's a WebKit-based browser. So if I want to use, if I don't have any browsers installed on this machine, I can definitely test with Electron. So once I've chosen my browser, I can just then pop open a test and away it goes. Now in this case, it's going to run through each of the tests, but what we can see is that it's running in a different version of Chrome. Here's the version of Chrome that we had doing this part. Here's the version of Chrome that is running our tests. And the interesting thing that we can see is that the window doesn't need to be on top to be able to run the tests. So where Selenium is actually moving the mouse and clicking on things, Cypress is instead controlling DOM events. It's firing up JavaScript. So that's really cool. It can listen into the JavaScript events happening in the page, the DOM ready event, for example. And so whenever the API finishes, it can continue on with the test. It doesn't need to wait a second or two seconds. It waits until the server is done or until the page is loaded. Once we've then got all of our content, all of our tests run, we can now take a look at the details of each test and see the page at that particular spot. So for example, if I'm going to type in this box, let's actually push a button. Where's a button? There's a button. We can see that red dot saying where it clicked. It just happened to pick the middle in this case. And the cool part is that this is just a browser. So if we open up the browser developer tools, we can see in the console all of the results at that particular step. So as we cruise up and down through our results, we can see different results inside of our console. And even better, because it's a browser developer tools, we can pop open here and we can take a look at our tests. Not there. My app. It's not going to help me find them. I can set breakpoints inside my tests and just watch my tests run. Maybe I need to start off with my default page. Nope. It's not going to help me find the test today. So I can just click on a particular script and I can set breakpoints and then walk through my test. Also in the IDE, we have this selector. So I can open the selector and go pick something and it will help me build the CSS selector that I need to be able to get there. Now we'll talk about best practices in building selectors, but it's nice that Cypress has this tool to help me pick it. I can choose to rerun my tests and I see the number of successes and failures. That's cool. So the Cypress IDE is able to run really elegant tests. Now let's take a look at the code that we used to build this. We'll start with a hello world example and kind of build up through it. We start with a Cypress.JSON. This configuration file gets us set up about how we can interact with all of the other pieces. So here's Cypress.JSON at the root of my project and this code is available up on GitHub. So there's that Cypress.JSON. The Cypress.JSON explains where the plugins file is and that's where the rest of my configuration is. In this case I chose to put it inside the test folder, inside the Cypress folder, inside the plugins folder. Here's that index.ts. Now this then explains where all of the rest of the details of my tests are. Where is my fixtures folder? Where is my integration folder? That's where all my tests are. Here they are. Where's my screenshots folder and videos folder? In this case I chose them to put them in the results folder so that I can exclude the results folder from my repository and now all of these results will end up in my build output. But it's cool to see that it will also record videos of each of these tests the last time it ran and so I can watch that video to see how the test turned out. Next up the support file and we'll come back to that one but here's that file right here. Now in this case I chose to make them typescript files and so I have a tsconfig associated with my application. Now this tsconfig knows nothing of Cypress. You can see there's no Cypress content in here but I do have a tsconfig inside the test slash Cypress folder that builds on top of that so it extends that previous tsconfig and it adds the hooks that I need to be able to run Cypress. Perfect. Now once I've got typescript configured everything from here on can be typescript. Now I went into package.json and I rigged up some scripts so instead of saying npxcypress open I can just say npmrun cy.open and npmrun cy.run which will run Cypress run. Open pops open the IDE like we see here and run runs headless for use in a CI environment. I can choose to specifically call out that it's headless and I can specify a particular browser in this case Chrome Firefox and Edge so now I have three different mechanisms for running three different tests running all of my tests in three different browsers. So npm test then we'll run this one and it will run this one and it will run this one and if all the tests pass in all of the browsers then I'll get test results inside that results folder and I can pull those in with JUnit. Now I've specifically called out that I'm configuring my results to be in JUnit format and here's the XML the file name for that format so that now I can pull those in as build assets. So now that I've got everything configured in my project let's take a look at the tests that we just ran. This is to do MBC and to do MBC is built on a project where it's a bit dated now where we can see various implementations in various client side frameworks. So a standard HTML file, a standard CSS file and then go build the JavaScript in your framework of choice. Well if they all pretty much work the same we ought to be able to write tests that work the same as well. So I've got one in Angular, one in Backbone and View and I can just flip the site URL. Now I'm going to start off by visiting the site. I could do this at the top of each test but I'll do it in one place just so I know that by the time my test loads then I've got that content ready to go. And our Hello World test where I just go validate that that site is as expected. When I was first writing this talk it was an HTTP URL and of course it flipped it over to HTTPS once I started building it so this test helped me discover that they had changed the URL of this external site to HTTPS and so that was great. Now let's go to my.URL. You notice that I'm not awaiting for the page to load it's loaded by the time I get to the next line. That's great. So let's start interacting with the page. I'm going to use the CSS selector to go look for LIs in this to-do list. Now I haven't added any so it should not exist. We can see the jQuery syntax here where all else being equal I'd rather have kind of a Karma or Jest syntax should not dot exist but yeah it's jQuery field. That's fine. We can now see the arrange act assert mechanism here. We'll write a test and then we'll type that and then push enter. We can see that this is a replacement expression but this enter is not. That's a specific keyword that Cypress understands to be able to type that enter key. We could type other keys like function keys, shifts, num lock and be able to interact with that so I'll go select this to-do and I'll type that. Now let's go validate that we've got that in the to-do list and so we'll go validate that the box is empty and that the list contains this to-do. Leveling up again, let's go finish the test. So we'll create an irrelevant to-do. We'll create a new to-do and then let's go find that new to-do and click the toggle button. That will mark it as completed. Then because it's completed it will have this completed CSS class and so we can go check for that to validate that it is completed. Let's delete it to-do. Now in this case the delete button only shows up when we hover over the to-do item. We're just running JavaScript events. We're not actually moving the mouse so CSS selectors like hover don't actually work in this case. In this case we have to say click force is true. We're going to say force is true so that we can click that button when it's not visible. And now once we've created these to-dos we click it and it should have length one and we'll validate that it's only the irrelevant to-do that is left. Now we've been doing a whole lot of get a new to-do and then type. That's not working out great. It's not very descriptive. It's also kind of leaking the implementation details. If you've ever used the page object in Selenium we're about to do something similar. I want to create this command this to-do add. So here in support we have commands and here's this command where I created this to-do add that we'll do that. And we're right here. Let's just go validate that after I entered it its value is blank. Now we do need to do a little bit to get this to work in TypeScript. So here's the Cypress docs on how we do it in TypeScript. Not only do we do the command but we also need to create an interface. So I've done that here. Here's the commands.d.ts and the interface for how to pull off the command. So now I can just say .to-do add. That's much more descriptive. Great!  I have a complete method as well and then I'll go click the active button to validate that I now only have the two irrelevant to-dos. Not the one that I completed. We'll show only completed tasks in a similar way and then clear completed tasks to finish out that list. That was great! We were able to level up from starting off with Cypress all the way through some pretty interactive things in the page. Now let's level up again and take a look at another set of tests. Let's look at Hacker News PWA. Now Hacker News PWA is based on Hacker News and we can see here this Hacker News site that allows us to build a progressive web app in various things. It's kind of the spiritual successor to to-do MVC. Now in this case it's actually pulling data from Hacker News. Well how would I write a unit test that validated that I rendered this part correctly if I'm just getting random data from an API? Well in this case we can see that our tests are loaded and we'll go pull data from Hacker News but we're also going to mock the data in Hacker News so that we can create some artificial results as well. It looks like these tests passed so let's go look at the code. Here in the code we can see that there we go. We have a similar mechanism where we can flip between various implementations. We'll load the site and validate that we're on the correct site. Let's go validate that we have a specific top story. Now if we're getting raw data from Hacker News we don't know what today's top story is so instead let's intercept this web request. We could use a string in this case I used a regular expression and replace it with a fixture. Here's that fixture the Hacker News fixture and I know that this is the top story so the title is this is the first top story. So now I can go intercept that web request and whenever my app calls out to that API it will send it with this result. I can go visit that site and now I know that my title is a deterministic result. I've mocked out that web request. Now it would be easy for us to lie to ourselves and believe that the API will always reply that way. So here's one where we don't intercept it. Instead we load the real Hacker News I don't know what any of the stories are but I can assume that there are at least 30 stories and that's how my app pages so I'll validate that I have 30 stories in my list. Now that was great. We saw an elegant way to be able to validate not only local apps but also calling into other web requests. Let's quickly run through a few best practices in our last two minutes. When we take a look at selectors we want to focus in on an ID or a class. If we have for example a really long selection path then if we modify our DOM at all maybe wrap things in visual elements then our tests will break. So instead focus on an ID or a class to a particular element or even better create a data-cy attribute on your element and then in your test you can say get the thing that has this data-cy attribute and validate it's here. This also really elegantly documents that this is covered by a test so if I'm modifying some HTML that has a data-cy element attribute I know that I need to modify a test too. Next up we want to create commands for frequent tasks. This makes our tests more descriptive because it's describing the business processes not the technical implementation. Click here on the slides from robrich.org you can learn more about commands and typescript. Next up don't log in to your UI every time. Instead log in once to validate that your works as expected and then do a before all that will go grab tokens for each of the users that you need to run your test. We do need to validate that the login works but not before every test. It'll make our tests run a lot faster. Next we want to use fixtures to be able to mock out data. Now if we have a big block of JSON in our test that's a great example of something we should move to a fixture to make our tests more terse and legible. In this case we used a fixture to be able to replace a network request. So here's a network request and we can replace that content with a fixture to be able to validate that our UI renders the way we expect. But don't lie to ourselves and assume the API will definitely reply that way so also do some tests where we don't mock out the API results. Cypress is a great place for us to build browser automation tests. You can grab the code for this session at robrich.org and these slides are available on robrich.org as well. If you're watching this video later hit me up on Twitter at robunderscorerich. For those who are here live in the conference what are your questions? What are your thoughts? Hey Rob, thanks for the talk. Unfortunately you ended just right on top of the end of the slot allocated so we don't have space for questions and answers. Are you planning to hang out on the WorkAdventure for people to reach out to you maybe? Definitely. And I'm on Twitter as well. Perfect. So if anyone has questions on the talk reach out to Rob on Twitter or on WorkAdventure. Thanks a lot Rob. It was a very interesting talk. I spent some time developing Selenium test fees as well so it was enlightening for me and yeah that's it. Thanks a lot. Sounds great. Thanks everyone.


Carlos Elcores vs. Holger Runa is the fourth quarter final for the men's Wimbledon for 2023. Both guys are battled to get to this stage. Runa into the tournament as the number six seed and will take on the wild card Lofhagen in the first round. But this is no problem getting through in straights 7-6-6-3-6-2 in the second round he take on Baiana. And again this is no problem for Runa getting through in straights 6-3-7-6-6-4. In the third round he take on the 31st seed for Kena. We'd had an absolute epic battle against in Madrid. And after dropping two of the first three sets and saving match points, Runa would fight back to win 6-3-4-6-3-6-6-4-7-6 to advance to the fourth round. In the fourth round he take on the 21st seed Dmitrov, who had just taken out the in-form Tiafo in the previous round. And after a close couple of sets Runa would eventually get through in four 3-6-7-6-7-6-6-3 to advance to his first Wimbledon quarter final. Elcores started the tournament off as the number one seed and would take on Shadi in the first round. There's no problem for Elcores getting through in straights 6-love 6-2-7-5. In the second round he take on Muller. And again, no problem for Elcores getting through in straights 6-4-7-6-6-3. In the third round he take on the 25th seed Jarry, who'd been having such a good year on the clay and learning to play on the grass. And after a couple of close sets Elcores would eventually prevail in four 6-3-6-7-6-3-7-5. In the fourth round he take on Baratini, the former Wimbledon finalist who had just taken out Diminor and Zverev along the way. And after dropping the first set Elcores would fight back to win 3-6-6-3-6-3-6-3 who advanced to another Grand Slam quarter-final. These were played twice before, one of those matches being at the next-gen final, but one of them actually being in Paris last year, with Runa getting the win unfortunately Elcores retiring in the second set. So we haven't really seen them play a proper match before. And of course a quarter-final of a slam doesn't get much bigger than that. If Runa is going to win this one, he needs to win the points quick. He can't drag out these rallies because Runa has played a lot more tennis than Elcores this week, especially with that five-set against Fakina. So he needs to make sure he plays the points quick and also attack the net a lot. If Elcores is going to win this one, he needs to get off to a good start and try and put the pressure on Runa. He's probably going to be physically better than Runa as the longer the match goes on, but thinking needs to be aggressive and take over that baseline. These guys play very similar styles. There'll be a battle of that baseline and also a battle of variety. This is such a fun matchup and finally we get to see these guys. Let's hope that we get to see a completed match as well between these two 20-year-olds, these next-generation guys. I'm going to go with Elcores to win this one in four sets. I think Runa's fitness levels are a big question mark for me. And I think Elcores is just learning more and more how to play on grass. He's undefeated on grass this season and he's played so well against Baratini. I think he'll do something against Runa like that. But let me know down in the comments below who's making the semi-finals.