Good morning, it is Monday. In fact, I think I put the wrong day in the I did I put the wrong day in the In the doobly-doo Save changes All right, so welcome. Hello everybody. E here. Welcome to 52 and 52. I will be writing a short story every week Live here on the channel and then I will be posting it on my patreon Also be doing audio books of the whole thing I will be compiling all of these stories into one book at the well not the end of the year at the beginning and next year I'm not sure what I'm gonna call it, but these are the stories that I'm going to be writing And you guys will be seeing the whole thing just like this. You'll be watching it I plan to hey Viking. How you doing, man? I plan to write the stories Between Monday and Wednesday edit them on Thursday Or I might let them sit for a week. I'm not sure it all depends on how happy I am with the structure of the story I'm also going to be going through and doing a little bit of plotting for the first couple of stories Because I already have all four stories pretty much Backlogged in my head. I wanted to give myself, you know, something to work on right away So that's the first order of business. That's why you're here 52 stories in 52 weeks and then at the end of it all you get a collection and Audio books all that stuff all that'll be free over on patreon Well, not free, but you know $5 a month you'll get that stuff over on patreon and You'll get the finished product, of course e-book all that stuff And then a free copy of the paperback when that comes out or their hardcover, whichever one I decide to go with Let's see here Second order of business is the plotting side of things. So my first story I'm using Some real life inspiration to start this first story We have we've been doing door dash to make ends meet. Actually, it's our only income right now Aside from a couple friends who have been helping us out.  Okay, so Main Street going down here. He had McQueen Smith going this way We were sitting at the light waiting to turn left on a McQueen Smith because that's where she said the Dollar General was So we turned left We went all the way down and it was nothing but the hospital said, okay, so we turned around we looked it up On Google Street view and it was literally in the opposite direction of where we had come It was 2.4 miles if we went left when we turned around and went 4.8 miles The other direction we ran into the Dollar General that has happened numerous times to us In the past week and I wanted to do something with it So here's my idea fictional Door dash kind of company called go for you or go for you. I think I'm gonna go for that one G o dash f Maybe er. Maybe it's a southern thing dash you the letter you And the the runners instead of calling them dashers or uber dry, whatever you want to call them We're gonna call them gophers So this dude Gets a new car has a GPS system Installed in the car already that GPS system is called Linda I have no idea of Linda is gonna be a twist toward the end or something But the idea that I have is a series of events that Are absolutely horrible? He keeps you know getting sent to the wrong places missing this that and the other the GPS He thinks is going haywire and then at the very end of the story We find out that what the GPS was doing was leading him away from tragedy and toward a very pleasant surprise So I don't know how that's going to occur. I'm gonna kind of go through it before I start writing it and brainstorm and just kind of like you know Use some of the stuff that has happened to us while we've been on the road And see where it goes from there. So first order of business is we're gonna open this up Let's see here Let me move Okay, so we need That's not what I wanted See here Which one do I want to use? Locating information navigation driving assistant Linda I like that Locating information navigation driving assistant. That's that's really good. All right. I'm a I'm a I'm gonna steal that Jimmy That's really really good. I'm just new location information I Spelled that all wrong Navigation Perfect. Yeah, I'm thinking about that. Yes. I was either gonna do that or I was gonna do No, I said, I think y'all are right. I think y'all are right. I think I'm gonna go with the the periods instead Hey, Haley, how you doing? Morning. Is that watching death of a salesman by Arthur Miller on YouTube? How are you? I'm doing fine I'm plotting out this story If you want to know what it's about you can scrub back. I thought I start talking about it almost instantly I don't know if I want I'm kind of stuck between like three making a nice Tight short story, but also the events that I have in my head would be good for like a five-point star almost Pentagram if you will And not because he's gonna be making the symbol on the map It's just five different points of interest, but three might make for a tighter story So I'm not sure I think it'll be a five-part short story Let's see Yeah, but this one's gonna be it has to be The webbing has to be right because all of the all of the things that happen throughout the story You have to come full circle to pay off at the end.  Let's see here. Okay No, I think it's gonna be go for Let's just do this because nobody uses. Yeah, go for you. Hey Tyler. How you doing? Hey peck? Sorry Yeah, I'm doing I'm doing really well can't complain. I'm happy to be back at work I got four short stories in my head. So the first month is taking care of and We're just we're jumping right into it. I haven't I haven't seen that one Viking. All right, let me give you a little more information here. So way back I would say this was probably it was before I met shell So it had to been before 2001 me and my middle sister We're talking about a delivery company called go for you and we ran into a roadblock because none of the Restaurants in the area would go for it.  I mean food delivery has been around forever, but Hey, Richie, how you doing? I ain't seen you in a hot hot minute You're sending to me on discord. All right, where's my phone? Make sure you tag me Viking so I can find it anyway So that's where the go for you thing. I've had that stuck in my head for ages Then I went and started working at the hospital and she started transporting Like moving mobile homes from one place to another And then we just kind we wanted to open a restaurant together now We don't now we don't it's a good thing. We didn't do any of these things because now we don't even speak to each other So location information Navigation I saw your last couple posts and while doing my YouTube watching this morning remembered you were live Awesome. Thanks for chopping in. How you been? Let me see what we got over here. Yes, visit the site. Come on discord Linda but listen Okay But Linda honey Can't do anything if you don't get everything Look at Linda. Look it. I could have brought this up and shared it I'm afraid I'd get a copyright claim though. Yeah, he's both a brat and stinking adorable at the same time. Yeah distinct what was that Listen Linda listen listen. Look it. Look it. Look it. Look it Look it. Look it. Look it make that 24. All right paragraph. We're gonna go into double spaced Oakley doggie Decide if I'm gonna go ahead and hit the restroom before I get started. So I don't have to stop in the middle of anything Yeah, I think I'm gonna go ahead and do that. All right So I am going to Bring this here and then I'm gonna remove my face and I'll be back in about I don't know hey Ryan I'll be back in a couple minutes guys. I gotta get run to the restroom. Hey, I'm back Let's go go for 30 minutes at a time 30-minute writing sprint stop now No, oh, that's why I had it at a set point eight to eight after the I was wondering why my Spaces we're so big in between the paragraphs You go get a shower. I have an auction to attend with a friend later and we're going to lunch first I'll be here. Just won't be able to chat for a bit. You're fine. Richie.  You don't know my readers Jimmy's reading along Highless Hey, buckable. How you doing? Thanks, Chad 610 words in about 23 minutes. I'll take it Not stopping but we got a Seven and a half minutes left Before I take a break. I'll probably be going till 11 11 30 today All right, we'll stop there for right now. Let's see here Cancel let's do save as Linda rough I'm gonna go ahead and take a break and Then when I come back we will continue on that once again I'm going to 11 11 30 and then I'll be on twit over on twitch probably between 1 and 2 but I will be back to this We have so far 841 words in 30 minutes. That's awesome. Okay. I'm back All right, you know, I didn't spell it, right? Oh, all right, Richie. Have a good one. Oh, I forgot to set my timer. Let's go Just go 20 minutes. I think I've already gone about 10. Maybe not. Who knows I knew I spelled that wrong I never get it right. All right. That's chapter one done 1301 words All right, I still got 10 more minutes for this sprint is over and done with I'm going to go ahead and take another break when we get back. We will write For another 30 minutes sprint and then we'll be done I might open up chat to any questions or talking anything that you guys want to do I'm going to get to at least 2,000 words today. I'm thinking this one is going to be about five to six thousand words So we'll see we'll see but anyways Say goodbye to this. There's some face meat All right, I'm going to go ahead and go over what I've already written And then I'm going to go ahead and call it a day. I want to leave something for tomorrow I hate job hunting thought I was free and clear on my way up at my last company Then all this ai nonsense hit me and about 40 other folks were laid off and replaced by machines Or computers or algorithms whatever you want to call it Wouldn't have been so bad pre-pandemic post pandemic everybody's hiring, but nobody's hiring. You know what I mean Mainstream media says no one wants to work at least the mms.   Honestly high school diploma with four years of community college I'm the perfect candidate for thousands of jobs.  I can fused for a beaver says become a gopher today The text highlights when I hover my mouse over it. So I click so I left click I'm welcome to a new page with your typical application stuffs name address phone number standard text messaging rate supply of course social birthday Driver's license number insurance beats all that shit I fill it out in record time mostly because my browser has all this stuff saved from the last 12 dozen applications I've submitted across the interwebs Once I click submit i'm taken to to yet another new page. This one is far more interesting than the last two Choose your ride assist I breathe as I leave in Not because I can't see but because what i'm seeing doesn't parse I get a free car Yes, and no I think as I read on further There's really only one option in five different colors. I've never seen a vehicle like the gopher mobile The trademark at the end of the name makes me giggle I'm imagining a superhero like batman rolling around in this abomination fighting crime and delivering taco bell But instead of a bat the some bitches of gopher I finally get down to the fine print and the to s confuses me further I get a car to ride in not drive because these bitches are some of them self driving joints All I got to do is ride along pick up items at restaurants or shop for Restaurants comma or shop for groceries sometimes bolt depending on each individual customer And the gopher mobile trademark lol does the rest or should I say linda does the rest Location information navigation driving assistant. I read out. I read aloud. That's a mouthful That's what she said Giggle fit. Please excuse me.  I took it out earlier.  I selected neon green gopher mobile because why not Next I'm directed to a series of pages requesting information for back for a background check I jump through all the hoops and press submit Make that bold for continuity A box pops up telling me I'll receive the results of my driving record in the mail in seven to ten business days And nothing else. I figure that's it and close the browser My phone pings as soon as my computer's death throws come to an end One email notification from go for you The email provides a link to a site where I can put in my availability I ain't got shit else to do so I click every box next to all the time slots At the bottom of the page is a calendar drop down asking me Uh when I can start I pick today an hour from now The page that follows is another plain purple background with a fist bumping gopher and a message that written and a message written under the cartoon Your gopher mobile will arrive in 59 minutes 23 seconds Do what I say as the time continues to count down. There's nothing else to click What about my background check? What am I doing this? I What am I doing this thing ain't gonna answer me. No, let's do I laugh at myself.  I'm all ready to go with a little more than 13 minutes left before my gopher mobile arrives I tap on tick tock to kill time before the app can load properly I have a new email my background check came back clean I had no doubt it would And I can and I can start delivering today Let's put comma right here I would hope to say so I think because the car is already on the way I swipe my email away and go back to tick tock I'm three seconds into the first video when my phone pings one new message Your gopher mobile has arrived at my apartment's Street-facing window. I tug the blinds open and put my forehead to the frigid glass A lime green vehicle is parked at the curb in front of my building It's 23 degrees Fahrenheit out there yet. I can't see any exhaust White plumes from every car on the road aside from the green whatever it is at the curb. Is that an ev? I've never ridden much less driven a self-driving Electric car and this is the first time I felt like this whole thing is too good to be true Don't I need some kind of license or special training?  Yeah, no pause there All right, too At the curb I reach for the driver's side door and hear the locks disengage a split second before my fingers touch the handle The door floats open slow enough that I have plenty of time to get out of the way I drop down into the leather upholstery and I'm instantly swaddled in comfort The driver's seat supports me in all the right places and is the perfect temperature There's a bottle of dark pepper strawberries and cream zero sugar in the cup holder Condensation glistens on the surface of the bottle. It's pleasantly chilly to the touch and equally pleasant in the taste department I've drunk a I've drunk I've drank I drink Ah, I drink Far less awkward. I drink a quarter of the bottle before I realized we're on the road Good morning says one of those artificial voices like somewhere between siri and google assistant I hope that you are having a pleasant day I don't respond because i'm not one of those weirdos who talks to machines and animals like they're human machines and animals like they're human People like that give me so many icks My name is linda the letters of my name stand for I know what they stand for I said I say's I say's I say under my breath, you know not talking to the machines so much as i'm talking to myself big difference I promise good linda replies Onto the next order of business did you just Did I just what The emphasis the emphasis on what gives me chills You're responding to me like In real time. Yes as I am programmed to I as I am programmed to do got to be Relatively professional right up front. Yes as I am programmed to do Do you have any questions before your first hour hours got to be our got to be our right guys. Yeah Do you have any questions before our first assignment? She it asked me how What why Never mind. No no questions. Where are we going first? Where are we going first Our first delivery is located on fifth and cart right a food service establishment called big brothers burgers colloquially referred to as triple b The owner does not care for the local nickname and is fond of telling his wife that it sounds like people are referencing and I quote Really big tiny titties Sided source The center of the dash is all screen on which starts which on which starts playing Bucket on which starts playing a local news reporter interviewing a man the ticker calls morgan friendly owner operator of big brother burgers And how do you feel about your restaurant? Okay, and how do you feel about fans of? How do you feel about fans of your restaurant calling it triple b? I don't like it none whatsoever. I tell you Like i'm fond of telling the missus. It sounds like they's talking about really big tiny titties The video feed cuts and the screen goes black You want to comment there don't you you do yeah all right Playback ended can I assist you with another inquiry? No, I say laughing for reasons unclear to even me. I'm good. All right, that'll work that'll work for now So i'm not sure if i'm gonna start another sub chapter or a chapter whatever i'm not sure i'm going to Start another one Right there if i'm gonna continue on but i'm good. So if you guys want to chat now is the time to chat i'm gonna put this away Stop sharing stop it stop it now All right save as this pc Say All right, and i'll probably be on twitch Uh relatively early today so that I can have more time afterward to uh to chill out Uh story looks good. Thanks jake. How you doing brother? How's the job situation and all that stuff? Oh, so I was just checking out the new hot keys Uh for stream yard Uh had the job search on hold during the holidays looking to start again real soon with it being january Well, good luck man. Good luck because the part of the reason why i'm writing the story that i'm writing Is because it's like all self Like it's like almost biography all the stuff with I plan on putting in all the stuff We've been going through lately and all that stuff But literally the only place around here I could find a job was door dash So we'll probably start doing Like uber eats and waiter and other apps also But right now all we're doing is door dash and we're making decent money. We're still coming up a couple hundred shorter every I don't want to say every week, but it'll be a couple hundred short every month yeah so i'm uh I'm a truck truck along with this. I'll probably have it done by wednesday if not tomorrow Now that I have a feel for the story and the character and whatnot Um, I'm gonna have to work on the voice because sometimes he sounds country. Sometimes he doesn't I'll work on the voice. It's just a mishmash of all the different all my different personalities right now But I'll I'll focus in um once I do some editing So I'll and then probably be thursday when when I edit it because we're doing um morning streams Monday tuesday and wednesday Between eight and nine going to 11 11 30 something like that. Um days like today will probably be shorter Um just because i'm getting back into the field of things and then Monday through wednesday i'm gonna be over on twitch after I get done here. I'm gonna be playing Uh god award vahala and a couple other games that I've been meaning to play um And then thursday friday saturday and sunday we door dash so So Thank you peck. Thanks for popping in. Um, did you get in it? Well, I don't even know where were you working on your own stuff Or were you just chilling in the background while all this was going on goes that? cancel goes that goes that um You know what that's a damn good jimmy you are on it today. That's a damn good idea What if I were to like connect them all in some very small way that'd be cool Um just chilling listening watching sweet um I think the mix of a country setting and the ai monetine voice is an interesting juxtaposition So I but what i'm saying is I need to be consistent because sometimes he sounds millennial sometimes he sounds like older and southern so 52 story mosaic that'd be that'd be very very so I would need to pick a common theme What about since I've had so many issues with ai and all that stuff What if ai was kind of like a running or technology was a running Theme throughout there's got to be one specific Thing to make a mosaic right Is a small character, but what is the significance of that character? There has to be one overarching theme Throughout the entire thing Is black mirror all all connected I watched the first two seasons stopped watching after that I thought they were all different time zones. Well, yeah, if you're talking about like technology is black mirror than yeah I guess yeah, if that's what you're saying then yes But I need some kind of overarching Theme whether it be like, uh The economy jobs, I'm trying to think of some of the other stories I have You've only seen a few to be fair either they're all pretty much about uh Because I think that I think the quote is literally technology is a black mirror Hang on Black mirror the dark side of technology. Yeah, that's what I thought that's that's quote If not technology alone, maybe the theme is the future is here and we fucked up Have then include ai and tech but also capitalism screwing people. Oh, well, that's just that's the yeah The influence of ai on modern society that'd be cool. That'd be cool There's one that I'm that I might have a problem. I might have to go with gps for this one too Maybe they use linda. Maybe there's you know different you know All of this stuff is like connected in some way. Um, but there's one story that I have about these uh Um that I have an idea for and that'll be next week. I'm gonna be working on it.  Maybe A quarter of a mile to a mile apart. I mean the the road's like 15 miles long I see no other cars except for these cars that seem are seemingly abandoned And I thought what if every time this person takes this road There are more and more abandoned cars I could probably could probably do something with either self-driving cars or gps or whatever but um Also, the road is a loop and they keep ending up back at the barbecue place that of course didn't happen But I thought it'd be cool If but every time they get back on the road to do the loop again They figure out that you know, they see that there's more cars more and more cars Um and until finally they can't get through and they have to turn around and go the opposite direction And that's when the twist of the story occurs But I could do so I could easily do something with that I think And it doesn't even have to be like the the theme of every story. It just has to have Uh bits and pieces of that theme Where cars goes to where cars go to die kind of like the langle ears it's it's I I have I have the twist. I just don't want to tell it yet. Um, one of the park cars can be oh Jimmy brother, you are on it. You I'm gonna have to like start paying you as a consultant here Yeah, one of the cars can be a gopher from uh from the other one.   It's ease beaver scouts.  Hey, okay So what about this so what about this and they're just all great ideas Definitely definitely getting your name in the book that's for sure Um, in fact, I'm gonna open this up and I'm going to add down here many things to Jimmy brown For inspiring sections of this story With his amazing imagination There you go That's in there many thanks to jimmy brown for inspiring sections of the story with his amazing imagination There you go. I can't write it all but enjoy reading.  You can learn techniques There's a difference between writing and storytelling You're obviously a great storyteller because you have these ideas that fit perfectly And if you're an idea person then all you really need is Character prompts and not story prompts I promise you you could you could write if you if you if you sat down and started doing something and it may not be Grammatically perfect. It may not be Uh, exceptionally structured, but all of that stuff is mechanics. That stuff can be learned. What can't be learned is Natural storytelling Now you can of course go by the hero's journey or you know, some kind of outline or use prompts or whatever You can do those kind of things, but the more interesting stories. I feel like come out of nowhere And if you're you're cranking you've had what three four great stories You've had what three four great ideas already But anyways, I ain't trying to push you into writing. There's enough of us out here struggling as it is But uh, yeah Anyways, okay. So here at the end. I want to tell you guys, uh In case you weren't here for the live stream the reason why I'm doing 52 and 52 The reason why I'm trying to write a short story every week for a year is because that's how I really learned how to Well, that's how I learned how to build a routine. That's how I launched the Edward Lauren stuff and I figure let's try it again Let's see if it still works again. Let's just crank out these stories Spend a year working on new stuff and then put it out next year and hopefully people want to read it Let's see here patreon. I'm gonna go ahead and post today's writing from patreon if you're on If you're on my patreon What I've written so far today Is going to be posted up there now Okay Okay, here it is Paid members published now. Okay. Good deal. All right. Uh, hey, brian. How you doing, man? I want to write an autobiography motivational book Then start writing it Honestly, just start writing it and that's going to take Thank you directly through that. Okay, good All right, so the patreon's updated Anything you don't want to talk about before I go a friendly reminder. I will be on twitch probably in the next hour. So Probably about noon today Happy new year. By the way, if you all celebrate that kind of thing um Literally the only reason I started this today was because it was a monday and I wanted to start doing monday through You know monday through thursday kind of thing Um, you're great me. I'm doing I'm doing good. We're we're making it. We are enduring I like the sign of I need to put it back here Uh, the sign that I have up on my wall a friend told me Just endure you'll get through this just endure and so that's what we're doing. We are enduring We are existing with purpose uh There's going to be a long Long process trying to build back the lorn name, but I'm here for it. Um There if you're interested here at the end, there are links to my books that are already published There's quite a few of them Uh short stories all different kinds of stuff. The link is down there in the doobly-doo There's a link for uh, if you want to buy any of the books From Let's see here from here not not steven king stuff from here all the way over here They're $10 a piece You can pay pal me links down there in the doobly-doo buy any one of these books except not the steven king stuff You can buy any one of the books behind me for $10. It's free shipping Whatever I'm going to go read for an hour. Then I'll be ready for twitch awesome Uh, I like it. I like it. Good. We are playing Uh god of war valhalla today So we're doing the free dlc that uh, san amonica studios released for god of war ragnarok That is what we're doing today I have no idea what it's about. Um, I have played Uh, the full game to completion. I haven't 100% of it. There's so much to do in that game, but yeah, uh That's what we're doing over there. I'm hoping no more bet vet Bills I said bet bills This year I do okay when I don't have three to 800.   For some odd reason it won't Charge the joy cons We'll get back to yeah per week. There are these shots called tru-licity And they're uh, we're they're $1,200 every single week. I have to get one every week I have to take it on the same day same time every single week But uh, we'll get back to super mario rpg once I can figure out what's going on with twitch because I'm not twitch But uh, what's with my switch? Uh, that's that's why I haven't been playing it Uh, yeah per week To emphasize that yeah 4,800 a month now with my with my insurance. It's 13 dollars a week so No, I'm sorry. It's 13 dollars for an entire month. So 4,800 Uh, because it comes in a box of four pins So 4,800 a month cut all the way down to 13, you know, my insurance isn't paying 4,780 $7 you know, they're not doing that So it's it's whatever man.  Yay privatizing insurance. Yeah But what you gonna do what you're gonna do And doordash sent me a link. I already have accidental death and dismemberment Uh through through my bank. I have life insurance through them also and Doordash sent me a link to where I could go and pay a dollar a day For accidental death and dismemberment But not regular life insurance. So they're literally giving you Uh insurance life insurance if it's accident only if it's accidental death or dismemberment For a dollar a day because you're on the road and it's a dangerous situation. So Yeah I'm just like, oh that that feels good. Yeah I know my family will be taken care of for a hundred thousand dollars if I get Dismembered or killed in an accident. That's fantastic Is what that is So I'm gonna go get off my butt. I might even do a little reading How about that? I got this book that uh Simon and Schuster sent me. I'm surprised. They're still sending me stuff But they sent me a book that Is about it's kind of like it's a drama about a k-pop band And so it's kind of being marketed as daisy jones and the six but k-pop So i'm interested in that I got that one that i'm gonna try and read dan's already trying it Because they're a huge k-pop fan. So does that include a customer dismembering you? Yes, it does It does better than nothing. Yeah So, uh, I have life insurance accidental death and dismemberment. I have full coverage on my automobile I don't have a lick of health insurance.  I didn't even know there wasn't new You're starting the new you book. Okay, jimmy in my opinion One of the best of the series because she does something just completely different And that's uh, that's all I'm gonna say to me for me. It was it was a pleasant experience I had a blast. I read it to shell shell enjoyed it. We thought the new direction was amazing We did not think it was boring and repetitive like so many other people did but you might feel differently I just like the twist and turns it was it was very entertaining And it didn't end anything like I thought it would all right. Let me let me try something real quick I want to do something that some other channels are doing.  Hey, that's not tartar sauce godfathers lounge games Saturday 6 to 6 to 23 Oh saturday 6 20. I don't know why I said thought it said 6 to 23 jerk off contest and fish fry jerk and fish fry content contest Whatever That's not tartar sauce. Oh, is your stuff is that is that chunky? Is your is your goop chunky?  All right, what did nettles post? Here is a secret about things you love if you put them down you can always pick them back up You can always paint again sew again hike again play music again Read that book again. Watch the movie, but it's been so long. The thing you love doesn't care.   She said I'm 99 years old. She said I can't do much to me at this point That is if I even get caught I'm sure she was kidding. At least 87 percent sure. What what what what about those 13 percent?  Anyways All right That was fun Anyways, y'all. I hope you guys have a great day if you're coming over to the twitch stream I will be live about noon today. So about 50 minutes from now Um, hope to see you guys there. I'll be back tomorrow. I'll be back between eight and nine again I just don't know when I'm going to naturally wake up. Sometimes I wake up at four. Sometimes I wake up at six Whatever, um, if I'm ever late, I'm still I'm still coming monday through thursday I will be here. Um, yeah, I'll see you over there I'll see you over there jimmy by viking uh, brian anyone else who's here anyone who's lurking Thank you for joining me, but until next time. I have been a you've been you This has been the first day of the first week of 52 short stories in 52 weeks Uh, but until next time Enjoy your spaghetti dreams Bye and other ways of saying bye wave nod just end the stream already. Okay. I'm doing it


Hi everyone, this is George and welcome back to a kindred spirit conversation so Some of you who've been watching this know that I've been having some catch-up conversations with some some colleagues and friends I've known for a while for for years usually and catching up Finding out what each other is doing and Learning learning from each other and so Alice and I was just talking before we started recording and She was telling me about how she's made this shift from from offline Doing work offline with mastermind groups et cetera to online for the last few years And now she's making a focus again on offline and so I thought that was an interesting Journey, I just thought Allison. Can you share you share just for the sake of our recording here? What yeah, tell us about this journey Yeah, so I guess Well, I'd run a training consultancy business for a few years when I think we first met and That was at the point where I was thinking there's got to be an easier way because I was you know Five days a week training delivery and then preparing at weekends and traveling a lot So I thought there has to be an easier way passive income. Let's create our online course and At that time thought it would be much easier In terms of creation but also learning all the online and just getting caught up in everything in online It's just such just such a massive learning curve and don't get me wrong I don't regret it for one minute and it's definitely going to be part of you know, my business going forward But I think I went from everything being offline to thinking everything had to be online and forgetting the bits that I loved In my offline world Yeah, you know in that going out and speaking and running networking events and just going and meeting people and Asking them how I could help them and realizing that actually there were those were the things that I loved doing that helped my business Offline succeed and there's no reason why I can't still do those Yes, I have some aspects of online as well for people who who who are not local and who I do I do love connecting people online. I just don't like the technical side Yes, yes. Yeah, and and you had you had a team of people working for you Yeah, I had a team of five people in the end and it was it was costing a lot. It was costing literally I can remember overnight shelving my cost by around one and a half thousand two thousand dollars overnight a month Yeah, a month monthly costs and of course to cover that I was you know feeling like I was on this This this wheel trying to keep it all going to make it all worthwhile And of course as soon as I stopped that I'm feeling what I needed to do and focused on well What brings me joy? What is it? I love doing and That's when I just it just became clear It was connecting with people and there's a way that we can bring it together We don't have to be in the two pollers if we don't want to be obviously some people like either one But it's also possible to come up with a mix and actually it can be a perfect mix I think going forward and so what would you advise people who? Want to connect more with with the offline world To me it's starting with the people that you know and looking at what you love. Yeah, you know what do you enjoy doing and Look at what you like doing socially first You know, we don't need to try and become somebody we're not look at what you naturally feel you gravitate towards the type of people you gravitate towards Start to build up connections there the other thing I always but I look around and this this might sound awful to people watching it But when I look around and I go oh, there's not really any groups out there that I really that completely resonate And I just start my own. I mean I've always done that, you know 25 years ago. I set up a travel club You know, it's just who would I love to get together? I invite all for a cup or I'll write them right to my house And then something starts from there. Wow, and are you? You're you're in Scotland. I mean, are you sharing any of the stuff online in terms of getting more people to the offline group? How are you? How are you outreach? Yeah? I mean, I do I do have online and before I took this little sabbatical from my business that I've been through the last few months I'm just coming out of now and I mean, I run a Facebook group so that people offline connect with me there and the YouTube I was doing vlogging And I had started doing things like live streaming which will start to cut, you know start doing again Yes, yeah, there's definitely ways that I do even connect with my local audience online Yeah, of course. I also do the online fundraiser switch. I just love I mean That what I love doing is raising money for charitable causes. I Love connecting with my audience and it's just a perfect way Yes, perfect way to bring it together for me to get to know the people that are maybe following me You're touch base with me online. We connect through zoom because I do them through zoom Yeah, so we can see each other and then we meet up face-to-face. It's just lovely Well, and one of your core areas of expertise What you're gonna be coming up with a book is gift-to-profit or using And kind of combined kind of partnering with our passion for certain charities and Having that benefit our business as well. And so, yeah, you know, you kind of modeling that so so interesting that you mentioned Online group that you're are you still running the Facebook group that you you created or yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I'm still running it Our people is that a public group or Yeah, yeah, it's called the heart of his hub So it's heart and then the word then a bi z all one word heart of this heart of this heart of his hub It's a free public group that people can come in and it's just chat no self-promotion. It's just conversation and chat Cool. Well, I'll be sure to link that in the notes of the video. Oh, cool. Thank you. Yeah Yeah, I really appreciate hearing this transformation of yours because I think a lot of people I think it was human beings. It's easy for us to look at what what the sort of the gurus are telling us the The sort of famous people are telling us and looking around and everyone's kind of Join the bandwagon for certain certain And we feel like well gosh that must mean that that's the right way of going and It's like there. We cannot be reminded enough that it's okay to take a pause and to come back to Asking questions of our inner self to listen to that still small voice to say what is it that truly energizes me What is draining me Why do I have these expectations that I must do this? I must do that. Can I let them go? Oh, yes, I'd say it's so liberating when we can start to say no and let those go and I don't know about you George, but I felt I think I felt that in that world. I felt that I There were don't get me wrong. There's been lots that I've loved in the online world and I've met a lot of wonderful wonderful people and but Starting again with something it was almost as if I forgot all the other skills that I had It was like I was the newbie and yes, there were all these other people who were the experts and I'm And it's only been when I stepped back. I thought hang on one minute Allison You've got all these other skills as I'm sure everybody else watching this will have We've all got skills. We've all got so many skills But we measure ourselves upon what we think we should be doing Yeah, and some of what we should be and I think some of what we learn in the online world And it's not it's gosh This isn't it's not meant to sound disrespectful because there's a lot of incredibly talented people out there But they're incredibly talented in their tiny little niche Yes, sometimes for those of us who are older who have a whole range of other experiences They don't talk about how they can bring them in but it doesn't mean we can't right and that we can't create our own Success formula our own way of making things work for us. Yeah, we can learn from people Take the bits that seem to resonate with us and create our own models of success right Beautiful. Wow. That's that's so true because A lot of what happens with online selling what these pro coaching programs training is they use I mean they they use kind of scarcity based marketing where It's like you are not complete your business is not complete your business is not going in the right direction Unless you You know use my model unless you do exactly what I tell you to do This is the one way to get something done And I think that's what disconnects us from oh, wow. Well such an authoritative person Yeah, right with such an amazing looking website or or you know, look at all the testimonials they've gotten which That's a whole other That's a whole other topic the testimonials are often of like a tiny few minority percent who were with them But it's like oh look at all this flashy stuff and then they must know how did how it works And then you know you pursue them and look they're making all this money And that's the other thing that's the other thing that I I I have been trying to remind people is that Money isn't always made in the most virtuous ways No Yeah, right. Yeah, definitely not. I definitely not in the online world. Oh my god the things that people I can remember one particular point because with my last, you know Last online launch I had and I was saying to people I'm not I'm just not prepared to compromise my values I'm just not going to do a b and c and I can remember posting that in two different groups One that we're both a member of and I got a very positive response there And I can remember posting it in the group whose training I'd been doing at that point in time And was attacked Was attacked for what's just your beliefs? It's and it was just you're right. It's my beliefs But they're not limiting their values. They're the ones that come from my heart You know, they're human beliefs and it's all about being compassionate and respectful to other people right and having integrity the basics You know, that's so interesting that you you had that reaction. It's such different actions It was very clear. I feel like the people who were attacking you or criticizing you were probably feeling confronted perhaps To look at their own beliefs and their own values and whether or not they're aligning with them in their actions Yes, maybe that's what it was. Maybe it was putting in a few buttons It was just it was just fascinating. You know, um, because all of us you're right, George all of us could all of us could implement a lot of Manipulative sales tactics and get sales. Yes You know for most of us or most of us like you and I Yes, that's not what this is about. Yes, we're in business to make money However, but doing it in a way that that that feels right that is generous and it's more based upon The positive impact we have on people's lives. Yeah, and what you're coming back to again is to make money by really expressing Your unique strengths Yeah, um to remember your your your your your joys and your unique strengths and to say wait a second Let me use this what I'm already good at What I can tell people really really love what I do and let me just use that Let me find a way to use that and earn money from it And then, you know, if I want to earn money in other ways I can do it more gradually Bringing my unique strengths online, for example, and figuring how to do it Virtuously instead of using these these formulas that we don't agree with But anyway, thank you for for sharing because I think that um, I think this will encourage people Yeah, no, bro. Can I ask you a quick question? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah So so in all of this in all of this what brings you joy? That's a great question. I think I think right now what brings me joy is Sharing with my audience My my honest thoughts about my about my journey and bringing them The journeys of kindred spirits like you who Who can I mean, I'm hoping that we're creating this ecosystem of people who are Bringing more truly bring more wisdom into into business And that brings me a lot of joy So that's that's what's going on for me right now And I myself and learning I before we started recording I was saying I feel like in the last couple years I've been restarting my business every year reinventing myself every year and I think that's okay I think I think that is a sign of growth. That's a sign of development, you know, and so I'm learning to be learning to to love that process Evolution isn't it we all evolve Oh, yeah, yeah, it's that balance of learning and being true to ourselves That's right And integrating all of that and just be open to just be open to the evolution and and appreciate it, you know Yeah, um, so Allison, what are your what's what's what's the website you want people to visit you at now? Um, if you check me out at www.allison so that's alisoun.com Great. Yeah, I'll link that in the notes as well. Nice and easy Yeah, well great to talk with you. I'm just going to stop the recording for now. Okay. Cool. Thanks very much George


Hello everybody and welcome to the Jenkins pipeline authoring sig United States meeting it is Friday March 13th Welcome, uh, I will start with saying that the Jenkins does have a code of conduct which essentially amounts to don't be a jerk to one another Just be kind I Am going to share my screen to bring up the meeting. Oh, no Don't tell me I can't share my screen I can share mine if you'd like If you can because I need to I'd have to leave this meeting and restart it Because I'm on a new laptop and it's not letting me share and because I just updated Not here. So let's do a share this screen And there's probably a way to open up the google doc now and here we go Beautiful. Thank you so very very much. I appreciate that to make it readable size Okay, and if you could just drop your name in the attendees list for March 13th Uh, I will go ahead and start off with open items the personas, uh Questions if everybody has entered their questions, which I believe they have That's great. If you have it, please do I will link the doc D link to the doc in here But uh, I think most everybody has answered their personas questions and those are going to be what we decide How our roadmap is going to look in the features that we want to work on Uh, do anybody have anything to add to that anybody mark? I won't refer to you as there's more people here Uh, nothing nothing for me. I added my questions. Awesome. I thought I could help with Uh, okay, I will move over into the discussion Uh gdsl support. There has been some chatter in the getter channel Uh in regards to doing getting that back up to speed And uh, well I the the the chatter I agree with is extremely relevant and it is something that Liam and I have talked about adding this to our roadmap So we definitely will be Thinking about that and and how we want to get that done My idea initially in conversation with Liam was that we just do this initially for IntelliJ And then we start working out for eclipse and and all of that stuff later on but initially for IntelliJ and uh, so that is that The final thing with uh, open discussion is we need to start finalizing our roadmap For those that are watching this video one of the things that the pipeline Authoring sig is going to do is we want to set out a roadmap for what We will be wanting to accomplish as a you know from a high level And then what we're going to accomplish this year may be quarter by quarter This also sort of rolls up into for those that have seen Oleg's email in regards to the overall Jenkins Roadmap we want to start rolling sig Roadmaps into that. I will add a link to What we have for the initial roadmap as well as to Oleg's mailing list Item for the overall Jenkins project roadmap Do you have anything to add to that mark? Just one point Just like real maps of real roads don't have dates on them It is perfectly okay that the real map that the map of this road does not have dates on it So you you referenced quarters and for me It I think it was Oleg's phrasing was something like Now near and a long ways out or something like that there he had three three buckets in his proposal And and none of them are particularly time constrained Agreed I get into the concept of doing things by quarters, but being that this is an open source project I have to sort of change my agile mindset to a more oss mine frame So thank you for clarifying that If you don't have anything else mark I think we can go to the open floor and you do have some items that you wanted to discuss So I will turn it over to you I do okay, so I've been I've been funded to replace the D zone Jenkins pipeline ref card. It's a PDF formatted ref card eight or ten pages based coming from 2015 that's heavily on scripted pipeline And I think we can given that it's a funded effort We can shift its content to use it to do some things with declarative There is already a declarative pipeline ref card from D zone But none of none of those have anything about matrix Or milestones or retry For me, I think we should deprecate scripted from we should not mention scripted in the ref card The ref card should be a a marketing concept It should be something that people look at very quickly and realize The preferred way to do things and I don't think putting scripted in front of people today Is a preferred way I agree with that Okay, cool So matrix milestone and retry are three that look to me. Oh, I guess and there's one more lock Right that are if I remember right not mentioned in the existing declarative pipeline ref card Any other recommendations of oh, here's a cool feature That we ought to highlight it already does have for instance post when That's that are already covered Okay I don't have anything off the top of my head to add I will I do have a question In in regards to this body of work. Is this something that you are doing? Yourself, are you looking to maybe get help on this from the community? Uh, no, it's this is just me. I'll do it myself. I'm not looking for help from the community I do think That I would I I hope that I can As part of this use it to generate a declarative pipeline tutorial on jankins.io Um, that was the the reason for coming to the pipeline authoring sake was I think this could also be used to generate We have today on jankins.io tutorials on how to do a maven based job application how to do a python application and how to do a a No j s application This would be Somewhat orthogonal to those those three things which are application centered this would be feature highlight centered Show the pieces and let let a reader Choose which piece they wanted to look at Instead of a linear flow through the tutorial. It would be Choose your adventure. Oh, I want to know about post conditions. I want to know about when I want to know about matrix or milestone And put tutorials segments there question was Does that seem reasonable for a tutorial or should I look at another another delivery form? No, I think that seems perfect as a tutorial I would even take it To say I wonder where this could fit like in looking from a personas perspective How this like oh this addresses david or this addresses linda Uh, that would that would be very good Well, and I like that. That's a good point. Um, uh, which persona Or personas will this Will this updated document address because You've got a good point. I I should be very clear With the people i'm working that are helping with it Which personas we're trying to address and which ones we are not trying to address with this Agreed and I think when we have the overall document that gets put out there in terms of personas and somebody says Oh, i'm david and then they see that they could say oh, okay Well, that that doesn't apply to me or then they look at it and they're like wait that does apply to me I'm not david. I'm linda So I do think that would be good if we could sort of somehow incorporate that Good. All right. Yeah, so I'll I'll that's a good good point. I hadn't thought of using the personas. Thanks That was what I needed Awesome. That is uh, that'll be great. I'd love to see that and if you need any help Please by all means let me know and uh, I can help but I think you've got it well under control But please don't hesitate to reach out if you do Great. Thank you That is all that I had Uh I don't think there's anything else. Do you have anything else you wanted to add mark? I don't thanks very much for letting you take the time to talk through that ref card question Well, that is beautiful. Then I will give you back. Uh, the rest of your hour I will thank uh anybody that uh is watching this for watching it And if you do have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out to us via the uh pipeline authoring mailing list or directly in the getter channel with that I will thank everybody and have a great weekend Thanks Bye. Bye


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Look everyone, it's Matt. Don't! We didn't really plan much, did we? There's nothing planned. It's the Christmas hymas. We've had some edibles and we'll see what happens as the day progresses.  It's like we've gone into a jungle right now. I have not taken anything. Would you? How much to take weed right now? You said you were going to. Come on. I think you finished your work. And it started a holiday as it were. When do you go back to work? For 22nd I finished, but I didn't go back to like the 8th. It's the 23rd. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. By the time it comes back. By the time it comes back. How much would it cost for you to do weed right now? I don't know. I'll probably get fired if I do. Is work winding down now or is it still full days? It goes full right to the end. People try and booking. People try and book to do concrete unlike on what's the boxing. Wow. I'm boxing that. It never ends with concrete. It's always got to be done. Everyone needs it. It's drinkable. Would you be open for this video idea?  We'll call it high hiking or cat. Cat hiking that Brown leads the way. It's not even a play on words. We're on cat hiking, but you lead the way. But you don't have to do cat. You guys will fall behind. Yeah, I know. But would you do that video with us? I think it would do. I just think it's funny in thought, but it just won't work. Because you guys will just fall apart. We just sit in the same spot. Just completely paralyzed.  Man, I reckon there's something there. We've got to give it a go. We do small doses so we still can walk. What about mushroom marching? Oh, mushroom marching. And you'll take mushrooms. And then you take mushrooms so you don't tell the audience. Or acid swimming at night. Yeah. We do acid and go to the beach and we swim out as far as we can. One by one. We could swim in the pool. Or molesting people. We'll do it sober. We'll do it sober. We'll do it sober. Molesting monsters because then it's right. Yeah, because they're bad people.   I'm going to get it out on you boys. OK, ready? Matt Brown, I swear to God. What do you call a fish out of water? A person? A crab. A crab?  Because you called me like three days ago and said the joke. Shit! I thought I was so excited about it that I called you there. You were excited about that. You think about it.  It's a crab. It's a different animal. It's a different animal. I think that's why it's funny. It's like you think it's a fish. They're kind of like land fish. Yeah. You want to be a fish still? Yeah, I guess. But the joke is that it's a crab. But that's no joke! You just say crab! Dude, I honestly, I didn't come up with it. Amber did and I couldn't believe it. So I called Matt and I told you. Dude, you called me like 11 o'clock at night. I thought something was wrong. You called him at 11. I was pretty excited about it. And that's what I was saving. I forgot. I was meant to save it for the podcast. And then I heard Amber in the background like a... She didn't realise how good it was. And I was like, you don't realise that you've just told probably the best joke I've ever heard in my life. She said that to Amber did. Yeah, she wasn't impressed by it. She just thought whatever. It's not funny.  She still doesn't find it funny. She doesn't find many of those sort of jokes funny. But I showed her the way how funny it was. And then she started to laugh about it. Jokes are really good when you explain them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's exactly, it's not a fish. Yeah. And it can walk.  Yeah, land fish. A crab is a land fish. Did you guys have fun at the Christmas party? Oh man, it was fun. But man, it was hot. Yeah. It was just a hot day. We went to... Yeah, so we had our mighty Michael Christmas party. Connor and the Krakenburg boys were there. And we went golf in the morning.   And then we went to the MMA event, the XFC. And man, it was a hot. The aircon was broken. Was it once? Was it really? I reckon it was just like malfunctioning a bit. Because if it was completely broken, it would have been... People on the other side looked comfortable. It took us two hours to get water, by the way. Yeah, oh really?  I love it. And they're like, you've got to ride it down on the thing. I'm like, okay, five waters. None came. And then I rode it again, five waters, none came. And then you were like, hey man, could we get some booze? And he goes, sure, how many do you want? And you go, oh 10.  He just walked away and shook his head. And then an hour later, he comes out with 10 waters.  I think I'm gonna follow up a couple of times. So this is the best. I can't believe you came out with this. So when you guys were marking down waters, me and James Lee kept saying, just cancel that and bring us serious alcohol.  So you pranked them.  I didn't even realize how good that was until you brought it up right now.  Yeah.   We were canceling the waters. I ordered one of three times. Dude, James Lee was like, I can't believe they just keep bringing out alcohol and we just keep cancelling the water. And the guy cracked the shits because we kept asking for water. And then it'd get round to us and we'd cancel the water. You would have confused the poor guy. He would have been so confused.  He came out with that and I was like, oh yeah, it's because we keep cancelling the water. Guess how much money Marty won that night? How much? $900. $900? Dude, first I just kept going to roulette, put my money on red or black and I'd wait for three reds in a row or four blacks in a row and then I got 18 out of 20 right. That's never ever happened to me before. And we'll never again. Anytime I play roulette.   Sorry, sorry about that. I didn't mean to come out with a physical attack. I think you're a beautiful boy, but you keep grabbing me. He's having sex now, man. Keep grabbing me. Would you like some water? Yeah. Is it real water? Cancel that. No. I'll get my own later. I don't want that. What are you just talking about? The dehydrating me intentionally. You didn't even sound real. Jesus. You didn't even sound real.  I've tried. Look at the difference in my legs now. In the sweat. One leg sweating. What's that mean? Is there any doctors in the precline?  You've got a blockage on one side. Me ducks are blocked. You know what they need? Cordless headphones. Yeah, they've got them. So with... We can talk about it later. It's not important for the fans. No, go on. They want to hear it. The brand. The first Rode soundboard doesn't allow... Wireless. Wireless. The Rode soundboard too. Allows wireless. You guys, it's just a feclanet. So they're allowed. Next season. It's the holidays now. You can't grab me so hard. I really think I get so many haves. Guess what me and Martin... The next season. Are doing tomorrow on our holiday day. What's that? We're going to play pickleball. I want to play pickleball. It's the first day of holidays. You're welcome to come. I'm not playing pickleball with you. You'll kick me out after one round. You're not good enough. Yeah, it does that. Comes from the club.  He's all like, sorry, not good enough. We don't want to do that. It's only do that for... You'd be allowed on this because it's an exhibition. So you'd be allowed to come and we'd all play. Be a lot of watching. You've tempered your emotion before. I've gone there so you're prepared.  You've never come. But if they do come, they have to be at a certain level.  Yeah, I did that to you guys with Grubble Ball and I've never let it down. I can't remember that. I blocked that out of my mind. You have, man.  But I saw your throw the other day and you can... They improved. Have you been practicing? No, it's just... He doesn't like that.  Okay, yeah.  That's a lie. He's only doing that because he's embarrassed. Look at his knee. It hurt because he went gym. Man, well, we've got to start pickleball back up. We've got to start toca back up. Are you going to start not pickleball? Sorry, toca. Will you be able to toca with the Foclines? Oh, you won't. Because I kick with my right. So I can sit at the front. You won't be able to change direction quickly though. You'll like a semi-trail. You'll have to do wide berths like that and rather than changing directions quickly. I'll be your left leg. I'm my range of motions back, but it's still sore, so I need to do a lot of physio, but I'll be back. All right. You are right. You are right.  You put them on a team with like two really good people so they can build them up. I want to play pickleball, genuinely. Stop putting your switch. Sorry. Yeah. We're going to play pickleball tomorrow. You're welcome to come. You'll be on for like in 10 minutes and you can watch for the rest. Okay. Thank you. You did this to me. I'm going to do it. I'm going to take that invitation.  Could we smoke it? Yeah, we smoke it. Yeah, baby. Smoke that invitation. Yeah, baby. Oh, man. Oh, man. I just realized this is going to be the most stone out-of-sequence podcast. What do you mean? We're having fun. We're having a chat.  We're talking about pickleball which is important. And I'm excited. It's going to be fine. Let's look. We have mess been... Matt is a little more irritable than usual.  It's been coming close to holidays. Matt went out one day and James ordered 15 litres of brown food dye. And while Matt was out, we just grabbed the food dye and poured it all into the pool. Oh, that morning, yeah. He just walked out. What happened to the pool?  And then it's like, pfft. You just saw brown. You knew straight away, you didn't think it might be a reflection issue if it was no like... You saw the brownery. Yeah. Brown water. No, I just... You saw the brown water straight away. Do you feel like you have more tense at the moment? We're tired on the pool and we spent money on them to fix it. Dad came around and helped. And then just destroyed it. But it's okay. It'll come back. We're filling it up now. You're going to pay for it. And you're all going to fix it for me. Tax. And I'm going to show you how to do it. Look, we'll get that pool guy in. If you can't sort it out, we'll get the pool guy in. I can sort it out. There's a tax write-off dude. Like it's fine. Yeah, true. Are you irritated more at the moment? Like are you getting tense leading up to holidays? No, I just... Now everything is just like a... I mean... Everything's just... You know, we don't know when the next prank is coming. No, there's no... Let's tell them about... Let's do this then. No, no, no. The cop one, we just did one of my... One of my favourite videos we've done for a while. We... Michael and I have been planning seeds in Matt's head for like months now. Well, you didn't plan one. No, and the stun gun. And then the day before as well, we said something about... Michael said something about ordering something. I didn't really think about it. No, Matt. We've been talking about it a lot more than you realised. It enters your subconscious. You don't even realise. But anyway, we saw... Michael was like talking to me about ordering some edibles to this address. And I was like, oh, I've got a call from Customs. They've seized a package. Let's not order here anymore. Blah, blah, blah, long story short.  Michael and I aren't here. They come in and then they find all these drugs and it's very good. It's very good, isn't it, Matt? You were very scared.  He threw the editors under the bus straight away and blamed them for all of it. He did all right. He did all right. Imagine if you'd just like... Yeah, it was Cooper. It was Cooper. Imagine if this he lives at this address. I am not responsible in any way. Oh, man. Oh, Cooper. They were intimidating though. They were good actors. Yeah.  Like, one of the dudes was like seven foot. He was huge and so muscly and he just was... He was like right in your face, sort of when he came in and just...  Because I started looking at their clothes and will it be out by the time it's done? I don't know. Yeah, it might be out. Well, yeah. Because I started looking at their clothes and I was going through everything in my house like this seems a bit off. But they were so good with that because they knew the script that they were going to say. They were very good with that and what they said to us. It was impressive. Yeah, we got him good. It's coming out soon. It should be out on social media. And your brains...  And then I was... And that's what was going through my head too. I couldn't... Yeah, before you... You can't ask questions. You're panicking. Yeah, I can see that. And your adrenaline goes through. Because you could be like, all right, they're just going to take us and then they're just going to come rob the place. Well, I was going to panic going to get to the car because I was like, we're going to take you. And I was like... And I was like... Because I remember I asked specifically for IDs and I was like, I'm not going to the car until I see something. And they were like, and he grabbed my arm towards the end and started pulling me out of the car and that's when I was going to have a go. Because I was... If it was real and you were getting arrested and you only... You had to just tongue them both for 30 seconds to get out of it. Would you do it? No.   Even to just save a few hours out of going to jail, I'd tongue them both. If they were like, look, we know you're not doing anything wrong, but we'll put you in there at the lock house all night and let you pass me.  Even if they said, oh, just ask politely. Just ask for a pass. Can we have a 30-second tongue in it? They're an officer of the law. Like, you're going to tongue them. It's like, just say, look. Yeah. I would have asked. No. Can I tongue you? Would that soften things? For 30 seconds.  Dude, you don't even drink water.  Why don't you drink like that? Oh, man. I've got my teeth. He lives in a pond. He lives in a pond and he just breathes it in. He uses this old bottom drawer to smoke. Are you taking photos of my... Don't. So, yeah, that's what's been going on. We filmed a shitload of videos. So we still got heaps of videos coming out while we're on break, but we're officially on break and we fucked with Matt Hard. And man, oh man, oh man, what else has been happening?   I forgot about that for a bit. We're going to get knocked down by thousands of people if we don't train properly. Wait, we're playing pickleball though. Yeah, yeah, first. I'm paranoid that the cameras aren't on. Okay, you guys are staying at your parents' place. You're visiting them for Christmas. You go downstairs and... Is Santa a girl or a boy? A boy. A non-binary. Santa's non-binary. They're a they. Yeah.  Okay, so you go downstairs and you see Santa and he's actually not inside.  One of the ones that no one cares about, Dasha, and you see him and he turns and looks at you and rather than get mad, he... Okay. That's it. Do you want a bash? If he said to you, I'll give you anything you want.  What would you want? What would you ask for? A $1 cash on one elf. Okay. You can have the elf, but you can't have the cash. But the elf will... Well, then I don't want the elf. The elf will work from home. A new chimney. The elf would be good to have. They work all through the year. I want a country. Give me a country Santa. And he goes, done. I want two World Trade Centers back. I want two Cuban cigars. It turns out a Santa drove into them. You want two Cuban cigars. And a new chimney.  I'm getting two World Trade Centers. Yeah. I'm going to cut this. No, I like it. I was getting into it. Sorry. Santa, yeah. How big are elves? Are they little or are they like...   But like... Oh, you know what's crazy, right? I figured this out with elves that you could do. So elves are like perfect cockeyed, right?  But there's a creative way to do it. Grab them by the ankles, flip them upside down, hold them right above your head. Wouldn't they be heavy? I don't care. Put the legs around your neck maybe. Oh, yeah. They could lock around. Maybe they have extra... Like a necklace.  I'm going to cut this as well.  I reckon I could pick you up and do that. I don't want to. I reckon you could. That's a good idea. Do you want to pick me up and hang me upside down? Yeah. With your knee? Could you actually... Could we see you... Yeah. I'm fine with that. You're not allowed to do it. You're not allowed to do it. You're not allowed to do it. My man's going to try to put and pick Connor up and hold him upside down. How heavy are you? I'm like... Wait. Oh, yes. So, this is that. This is that in physical. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Where's Connor piled up? Where did he drill. What did he do? What did you come off? It's just like real life to Elle. This was real life. Dad actually spiked is now. ladderer.  Lift him up off the ground. Make it so I want his head to be at your crotch higher. Christian Breaks85 He's uncomfortable and... That was so close. I was gonna go like that all right try it on the couch.  He's a big elf So Brown is currently lifting Conor up Wrap your legs around his neck do it so the camera can see Yeah, that does work up higher though That was not bad at least we know that that's actually possible And remember if Conor was a normal sized elf it would work better big boy.  We saw that we've seen that that's that Should we call someone yeah, it's called Greg. I've got some words to have with that man I don't know. I'm just gonna see what I would see what I think of you're a bit turned on by my strength I'm I'm threatened Because I torment you a bit and I realize you could crush me with your thighs I know I just picked you up and flipped you When my head was between your legs, I realized that you could tense and my let's call Greg and Tell him that we've got a brand deal with his camera Cameron Diaz Cameron Smith the golfer is it Cameron Smith? Oh, yes brains or broken Cameron Smith We've got a brand deal with Cameron Smith the Australian golfer. Yeah, you have to lead for it. Well, but what's the brand? What are you doing just for Cameron Smith? Hello dude What guess what we've got a brand deal with guess who a Brand deal. Yes, guess who we're collaborating with you're collaborating with Some of that I'm gonna be happy with. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's pretty cool Is it I'm gonna do a sport or sport related our favorite sport golf.  They've contacted us. We get to play nine holes with him Well, yeah, we don't act we only get to do probably like 20 minutes with him No, we get chick said she said like like that that it'll take 20 minutes to film But we get to do a whole night.  Do you want to come?   All right.  Oh, yeah, I did too Yeah, I can read you guys like a book now.  I reckon Christmas. I reckon it's probably Karma based Don't you don't know what it is. I think in my head. No, it's more just like do good and then good will come I think only Nepal. I think that's Muslim. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure they all Just like if you're bad, it doesn't matter. You still go to the good place. I'm a flamingo tarion.  What are you Matt?   Let's say that we've got a video to film So he's got say say but then we don't turns out we don't Tomorrow because he knows he's not allowed to film with you guys he films and they say you've got it tomorrow and say we really need you to film His financial situation He would panic in the new house and studio is gonna be on his island. What's water house on his own? I'll believe that no, no, we tell him that we're doing the boys trip on his island Can he recommend any places? He wouldn't believe that either dude?  I'm a clay.      Yeah, you're gonna be down with filming you guys have erections I think that is a very interesting and then say it's gonna get to a point where Michael's gonna try and hang from his body Way Just ribs in half it's just skin hanging on over the top half and We should definitely oh man, we should ask him that I give him a ring. Don't be scared. We're thinking about hanging from Continue having conversations and something will come to us. I'm okay. Yeah, how's um work going man. Could we call your dad? Why would you call my dad? Why would you go to work where you work? Do you like it? Could we call someone I used to know it starts was it start is lost his passion. Oh concrete. Yeah, no That's fascinating.   Well, I don't know.  I love the concrete worst. Sorry. Great.  It's got two forms of We should probably mention that Yeah, well, it's not a big deal. But yeah, I've been versing brown Four worms to eight worms and destroying him. He's never beat me when I've had half the amount of worms But then you discovered eight verse eight. Oh, yeah, very good in total. Anyway, I'll stop Yeah, so that's pretty much all I play Well, like I'm for life man for night now and then for night split screen. That's unbeatable. We're doing that after this It's gonna be so good. Um, we um sold out our merch So thank you to everyone who bought some that was very nice to see that it was a successful first job We were worried.  So it's stuff that we'd actually wear. I think it was awesome. I reckon all the stuff is great What was what's sold out the first um the sorry stuff, right?  I like the most for sure And the and the the ringworm the m&m in the middle of it. Yeah Well for sure. The haves were the slowest believe it or not. Yeah, I thought the haves were I think it's unique and I think it's a season four thing. It's like old news. Well, everything else is like a Marnie Michael reference whereas have is like directly a podcast. Well fully actual did all right too, didn't I?   It is warm. I'm gonna tell you guys I never come in here. I come in.   It's a whole movie.   Oh does it? It's like you should know I guess we're so used to it. Yeah, you are Yeah, yeah, but like I never wear shoes In here it's fine. It's safe. Look how good his feet look They're the most fun-fucking feet I've ever seen.  Seriously, I reckon I could rip that one off. Oh, the big toner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Don't do that. Can't. Don't do that I could I'm honestly I'm gonna get a big child. I'll chew on it. I'll chew on it. Oh my god Oh, dude, we set that camera up and now you've just totally ruined that I don't think it'll be allowed. Yeah. Yeah, we can't put that on.   I'm not good at launching it out So that could do some damage.  I would hurt seeing I want to hug him. I mean, I'm sorry Well, I tell you what I'll be I'll do it and you about it Michael.  I'm dodge. I'm dodge Oh, this is like my Dutch culture.  No, I feel bad for you. He's in pain because I saw him break his toe or whatever you did on the Yeah, I did that.  Yeah, I don't it'd be some set when we're filming He kicked a girl because she wouldn't have sex with him. Yeah, he kicked a jaw.  Yeah And he kicked her be like that. Yeah, should we do acid? How much do I have some tabs here? I think Luke he has some We have Right now I haven't got much money It's fully gone. It's Christmas. Okay, I want how much you would you make Matt? How much would you do it for acid?   Oh, man. Well, I mean like imagine Matt Imagine Matt on acid I would do it for free if you did it and that can't be traced.      No, no, come on. Don't let me do this every time. Come on. Just do it now We've come so far I knew you when you were in ruin Do call some of the videos you filmed I didn't film any for you guys then I only edited when I was doing that stuff. Oh Really?  Yeah, but yeah I remember that my I still think the best one is when you guys wrote each other stand up You guys ready to try to stand up routines and Michael wrote for Marty that Marty had to get up and announce he had HIV and not say it's a joke and then at the end of it He gets raped by Casper because on stage getting it's a pretend to get right And there's no laughing the whole way through it No one is laughing because no one's aware or not if he actually has HIV Yeah, it literally I noticed immediately since I said that people kind of felt bad for me and it immediately stopped the laughter Michael's was Just a bit stranger like on Michael's at one point Marty wrote in Michael's that for Michael to say You know, it's actually really hard to write jokes just to reinforce that it was Michael being terrible It was really anyway very funny. I could have loved it when he said that I cry so hard What did the announcers say when you got off the stage?  Really?  What about that? Oh, yeah, that was the last that was the last I remember you like I'm so I'm honestly at least I'm actually glad that I'm leaving.  There's a golly bottle 2.0.       No, wow That's good seeing the the bottle for sure I was driving home the other day yesterday, and I saw one Leaves like halfway houses around there So these two like meth heads that were coming off obviously drugs went past these teenagers And I'm just as soon as you pass him he turns around and goes Like this literally just does the like crutch sort of motion so he's a mad come And these kids were like 13 years old as weird I was like wow. Why are you so mad at them remember the live show?  I couldn't see anyone that night. I left the stench Wow I've done this for a living. I'm not I'm not doing this.  Yeah, man. Yeah, just this juice So strumming but anyway the live shows out now. We had to post the uncensored version on the website by the way, so Yeah, the YouTube version has a lot cut out of it And you'll see where people get annoyed. Yeah, man.   Yeah. Oh, it's good to see you And there was four of them.   I'm pretty sure I caught I caught at the corner of my this chick like full.   Guess we're not No If you come to our show you lose a friend KK was in the thick of it KK's they're like Enough relax your friends and then lies because they're so upset. She's like no it was someone in the crowd Don't even worry about her. She's like trying to it was so funny There's like shows within shows. Yeah, it's a security guy left halfway through the show He's like some old man, and he's like I'm not I'm not I'm not putting up with this He didn't he found a show so offensive that he left. No, I just couldn't deal with dealing We shouldn't have been a security guy. The crowd was like a concert Wild so if you want to come we'll do on the same thing next year and the funnest part I think next time we'll make them a bit shorter so that we don't get the super drunk people It's like and then they're way and then we go to the pub after You just do it at a venue like a smaller bar. We'll have to change our podcast to make them a little less Disgusting next year. This is a segment. I had an idea for by the way Yeah, by the way guys comment your segment ideas if you've got any suggestions for segment ideas Please comment them in the comments and let us know and we'll have read cuz where it's getting at that stage Where we need to start talking about new segments and there's always some that do well But there's just some that fucking don't land. Well, remember who's the better brown?  I gave up on that quick. I can't even remember that first couple were fine And then it's just I think it's yeah, it's too repetitive. It's not What about Michael's adventure Michael's magic adventures No, Michael's magician time I'm just gonna say this now and you were meant to do the science time and it's gonna be the same as that You don't do your homework commit to it for flight for episodes and you'll get lazy with it I will become a magician for this You had to watch movies and you were furious that was your another one They were bad movies. You don't commit to anything You do like four episodes of commitment and then you just give up And then you're doing it in the 45 minutes before we start just so you know, I told Michael at one point I was like stop watching all the movies and see how many you can do before He realizes you've not watched it. I already knew he wasn't watching. I picked up on a far No, no there. Well, I literally watched every single one. I think except one Yeah, you didn't kill bill. I never watched kill bill. You've never seen you'd love kill bill. No, see why? It's just not for me too much action and fighting and look at me.  You don't like that. You like it when it's more realistic. Yeah, I hated reservoir dogs Oh, you might not like reservoir dog Anyway, no movie rent Magic moments with Michael and I will do a magic trick and I will trick you guys with my magic each week I'm calling it now You're going to do at the maximum 10 episodes of quality and then the rest are going to be It's also an audio podcast. So you're going to do magic tricks People to come to youtube and watch it so you can listen to it right now if you're driving I reckon at the lights and just bring it up on youtube quickly search like Find the timestamp that's connected with Spotify to now on youtube at the lights when you're driving And then watch this part when I've got my magic moments They're not matched up this spot because the Spotify versions are longer because we leave all the stuff We have to cut out maybe try and search while you're driving So if you want to see uncensored podcasts, they're on a Spotify Why don't you do a roulette every time where what you do for like a segment is You someone has eaten something you all have drink or eat something. That's the same looks the same I Dislike it already a bit thanks I'm so like And but one of it spikes So you each have a bite of like a wrap but one of it has like a ghost pepper in it And so the goal is that the one person has to hide What that they have it and and basically are trying to figure out who's been fucked by the That's not bad. It doesn't have to be bad at all.  So that'll last like 10 seconds. Chili's a great one But so is like shit because imagine some viagra viagra is so good So then you would take it before the episode and then during the episode Yeah, some of them you'd have to take before but viagra is like From what I've heard like about From what I've heard about 20 minutes. Yeah.  It's a rat trap.  Yeah, that's a good idea. That's good brainstorming. Thank you.    I love them There's a lot. There's a dude that ran on the guy that ran on stage. I totally forgot his name I did it last year too when he's dropped. Oh, yeah, yeah, lovely bloke. Yeah, actually, he is He's actually a really really nice guy.  With some of them.  Yeah, but you just got that sense of humor in common So it's just it's easier to bond people from all walks of life.  I remember meeting this couple from perf Lovely couple and yeah, they traveled so far to come and watch from karina. Someone came from karina I heard what's that mean when you say that how far that's where I can't say that I won't say the name I just said because okay, so yeah, that's not that far I think pradhi came from melbourne. Yeah, yeah a few people come someone came from jakarta in indonesia That's where that bomb went off. Hey, isn't that where that bomb went off? That's bali. That's bali jakara jakara is the capital Bali bomb that's yeah, no, that's a different country my son bali bomb city Place wasn't it in jacara? No, it wasn't jacara. Mali's not jacara.  Yes 100% she did You know from the corb the corbies were like you know drug dealing family. I'll tell you why who takes a boogie board Unless you're a professional bodyboarder who takes a boogie board overseas. Oh, yeah, who takes a boogie board overseas That's the dumbest sense of the biggest thing actually a really good dude point There was a in see it maybe two seasons ago. I was trying to get Michael a date with Did she fully reply? She's fully talking to me for a while. She's like, oh like weighing it up Yeah, well for the sake of that She never did do it So she was lovely. Well.  So you gotta give her that It was like what 30 years. She was there 17 years, man. Okay. We went past the jail in bali. Do you remember? No, and now it's all legal there. Is it in bali? Isn't it like highly illegal? I'm pretty sure in thailand it's like in thailand you can smoke pot on the street now But it was pretty common.   Yeah, she did it though.  It's big big That's your daughter. They're dead. Not your daughter. But you give me your daughter It's the first thing they say when they find drugs.  Yeah heroin. It's not a good way to be but we're dead Not only that we followed some random dude down some alleyway and like that's exactly what that tell you not to do Because that's how they rob you. What did he do?  Yeah, I would never ever be buying drugs in any country like that, man That's like god.   We took all those oyster mushrooms.   I remember one time in belgium We bought two grams of coke and we were so excited to go back home This is like 4 a.m.  We were so sad I remember you didn't really do that when you're buying in the streets.   Oh god.  Hard or soft with the shitty bricks pillow. Imagine actually It's soft and hard Matt, what's up with you, man? You're not saying anything. Where's the christmas spirit? He's got a girlfriend now. He's been having lots of sex. Oh, yeah. Yeah.  Yeah, of course Like what do you mean? What's a lot for you at 38 or nine?  Is this inappropriate? Is this something you don't like talking about with on like with people? Well, we don't need to talk about it.  What do you mean?  Look at how far away you're going. Are you not having a fun time?  Yeah, and I'm always a little bit grumpy. You should hold hands Why because I just you know, I gotta be I've got to watch like the window to make sure no one's surprising me Because I'm gonna get pranked.    Do you want to know something guys?  I'd get a I'd get a warning and I'd you'd have to take it. You'd have to take it. You'd have to take it for real You'd have to take it. Well, how do you know that so well? Because I know sorry about that I went to an MBA exhibition last night. Did you like that? Yeah, it was fun They had all signed jerseys of some of the best players ever. Do you know all the teams players because of the cards? Some of them. Shaquille Anil's shoe was there. Yeah, I must say if I could not the one shoe he wore Okay, say if I was it like I'm trying to think of an interest for me Um, like golf golf if they if I had to if I had the right to go look at some of what the players wore I would rather not do that That is like No, even if you go like I get you like basketball, but I thought it was something like there was like you said there was games there, right? Yeah, there was interactive things you can put your hand in LeBron James's hand.   I'd rather just enjoy. I'd do nothing over that. You'd rather do play Probably play the sport. I play warms. But yeah, that too. Do you care for the history of golf though? No, I just see that's yeah, you just like playing it See like some people like the history and how it all happened.  Okay. It's about no Gallagher I know Gallagher, New Zealand where you can see the shitty war. I need more than no No, I wouldn't want to just go see no Gallagher's jacket.  No, see you don't care about the culture of it You just enjoy it I think that'd be kind of cool to pick up his guitar and he's lying. I would hate that.  What's Ozzy Osbourne's better? He's older That means you're the same. Yeah, you've got Black Sabbath's poster in there.  I'd rather go. I'd rather watch them on youtube or something over that or do nothing It's because you've got no culture. I've said this before that he's bitten was there It's just it's just a thing. You're going to touch something of someone else It's like what other people enjoy Ancient Egyptian if there was maybe some like was there some games or or some dancing women Michael loves dancing if it was a time zone perhaps with some golf memorabilia in it that would be nice No, I seriously would not go to it a time zone.  I should play pop part. They wish you make I'd go to pop part But that's not an option. No, that's what I do over that you would hit a ball into a screen So what about like a museum? Do you like an ancient museum real life? Not digital? Yeah, what about a museum like an Egyptian museum? I'd have to be high if you went to Egypt and you saw the pyramids. Would you want to touch them?   Would you rather pyramids or a basketball expedition? Oh, hang on even I'd go pyramids over basketball Okay, well then pyramids is if I would should have gone Of course if someone gave me that I'd be like you can touch the pyramids tonight. I'd be like, yeah, I'll do that Okay, I imagine this they go you can find out the truth of the pyramids And then they say to you but you'll be disappointed and they go.  It's all natural. It's just they were there. It's just a coincidence. It's natural It's not even man made It's a tree Yeah, it was a really weird storm one day and it eroded it like that Oh Yeah, no, I probably I don't know Genuinely, would you go to North Korea to like actually to travel too dangerous?  Yeah, we we yeah, we definitely wouldn't do it It'd be too scared to go there man. It'd be it's like it's too risky Would be fun though Imagine going to Yeah, imagine singing on the Amazon. That'd be wild. I'd go to the Amazon like that. All right done Dude, imagine if this just cut to a podcast in the Amazon. We're madically screaming. We have no reason to have it For the last 10 minutes and then it just I'd be pretty scared if we had no water Sorry, that's my contribution You know that there's a guy the guy who was on rogan He made a tree house that sits above the canopy And it's got like you can hire it out.    I met in mexico.   I was seeing I've ever seen in my life.    That was it. That was it for the that night like it was so far One of my favorite stories is if he was executed Piss on the tourist Behind me is just getting Shot in the back of the head My favorite story whenever I have to explain you guys because people are very confused sometimes because And they never admit if I talk about you like they won't bring you up They'll talk about crack and look and then I figure oh, yeah, I'll you know, sometimes I Hang out with muddy Michael do stuff. They'll be like, oh, yeah Like it's very clear that it's just the pent up like moment. They want to talk about so what's it like?   That's it. And I like what do you mean?    Yeah Yeah, it was great, man. I missed that car It's a v6.   Yeah, I do it started to sort of peel off. Oh my god I forgot about that. Yeah, man. Oh, I love that. I I remember that Oh god, dude, I don't want to talk about it. God, dude. Fuck, man. Good times.  No, they don't do it. It smells like sweat. Hey But my nose is broken. I think it's the fly traps most recently.  I think more an alien comes down and actually your phone comes down Opens up and comes to you and says I I this is all real You can live a full life with me. We're going to explore the universe and I'll show you everything You can never ever come back and you have to leave right now. Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm married I've got amber and they say you'll never ever experience anything to do with your photos or aliens or paranormal ever again You'll never know the answers But they say you'll you'll know.  If you come with me, I'll give you the answer He's still going on.  No, no, no, no. Please get right in his face. No, please fight him. Please talk about your stickers, dude. So this is from One of your website members. It's a rock climbing sticker. It's from a rock climbing club.  Yeah, you can't do that.  It's ice skating is okay. Oh, look at that Russell brand He's he's a rock climber. Is he really? Yeah, you rock climbs as well. All right That's enough. Let's go Oh, is it no more presents?  Yeah That's the word. Well, you didn't really ask for much. Yeah, well, oh man I hear about packages in the works where there's like treats Someone's putting all these american chocolates together a lovely lady. It's gonna be so nice. I'd love a treat. It's christmas They're probably gonna be melted by the time we get it. I'll still we'll refrigerate it and make it happen Just as long as you know, take it out of the package. Should we do another season finale tomorrow? Let's film another one right now. Let's do it. Let's start ready Welcome to season finale of season five This is the second one. I've got my new joke Now, I haven't told you guys this joke Yeah, I think it's funny. I'm ready.   Yeah So I'm going do you reckon that's a cow? It's donkey, baby. That's what I thought as well Oh Imagine of a sniff Should we all have a sniff down if I smell this all throw up? Should we all have a sniff? Yeah, that is definitely a vomit smell. I'd smell the cum. I reckon that's a worse smell Fish so gross knowing that that was caked to the back of his throat.   It's been a it's been a I don't want to I want to be with you guys This is fun. We've been gone for two hours. It's the christmas special.   Let's end it.  Oh my god I don't want to be here. We've got places to be. All right, everybody I'm gonna end it. Merry christmas and a happy new year and we're gonna be back In at the beginning of february so set your calendars and have fun everyone. We love you The best with the best with the He's having me. He's having me. He's having me. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna cut this Man, I'm gonna cut it. I'm gonna cut all this man. They've got the camera. I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee BAD! Hey, I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee