22 Anne went home to think over all that she had heard. In one point her feelings were relieved by this knowledge of Mr. Elliot. There was no longer anything of tenderness due to him. He stood as opposed to Captain Wentworth in all his own unwelcome obtrusiveness, and the evil of his attentions last night, the irremediable mischief he might have done, was considered with sensations unqualified, unperplexed. Pity for him was all over. But this was the only point of relief. In every other respect, in looking around her or penetrating forward, she saw more to distrust and to apprehend. She was concerned for the disappointment and pain Lady Russell would be feeling, for the mortifications which must be hanging over her father and sister, and had all the distress of foreseeing many evils without knowing how to avert any one of them. She was most thankful for her own knowledge of him. She had never considered herself as entitled to reward for not slighting an old friend like Mrs. Smith, but here was a reward indeed springing from it. Mrs. Smith had been able to tell her what no one else could have done. Could the knowledge have been extended through her family? But this was a vain idea. She must talk to Lady Russell, tell her, consult with her, and, having done her best, wait the event with as much composure as possible, and, after all, her greatest want of composure would be in that quarter of the mind which could not be opened to Lady Russell, in that flow of anxieties and fears which must be all to herself. She found, on reaching home, that she had, as she intended, escaped seeing Mr. Elliot, that he had called, and paid them a long morning visit, but hardly had she congratulated herself and felt safe when she heard that he was coming again in the evening. I had not the smallest intention of asking him, said Elizabeth, with affected carelessness. But he gave so many hints, so Mrs. Clay says at least. Indeed, I do say it, I never saw anybody in my life spell harder for an invitation. Poor man, I was really in pain for him, for your hard-hearted sister, Miss Anne, seems bent on cruelty. Oh! cried Elizabeth, I have been rather too much used to the game to be soon overcome by a gentleman's hints. However, when I found how excessively he was regretting that he should miss my father this morning, I gave way immediately, for I would never really omit an opportunity of bringing him and Sir Walter together. They appeared to so much advantage in company with each other, each behaving so pleasantly. Mr. Elliot, looking up with so much respect, quite delightful, cried Mrs. Clay. Not daring, however, to turn her eyes towards Anne. Exactly like father and son, dear Miss Elliot, may I not say father and son? Oh! I lay no embargo on anybody's words, if you will have such ideas. But upon my word I am scarcely sensible of his attentions being beyond those of other men. My dear Miss Elliot! exclaimed Mrs. Clay, lifting her hands and eyes, and sinking all the rest of her astonishment in a convenient silence. Well, my dear Penelope, you need not be so alarmed about him. I did invite him, you know, I sent him away with smiles. When I found he was really going to his friends at Thornberry Park for the whole day to-morrow, I had compassion on him. Anne admired the good acting of the friend in being able to show such pleasure as she did in the expectation, and in the actual arrival, of the very person whose presence must really be interfering with her prime object. It was impossible, but that Mrs. Clay must hate the sight of Mr. Elliot, and yet she could assume a most obliging, placid look, and appear quite satisfied, with the curtailed license of devoting herself only half as much to Sir Walter, as she would have done otherwise. To Anne herself it was most distressing to see Mr. Elliot enter the room, and quite painful to have him approach and speak to her. She had been used before to feel that he could not be always quite sincere, but now she saw his insincerity in everything. His attentive deference to her father, contrasted with his former language, was odious, and when she thought of his cruel conduct towards Mrs. Smith, she could hardly bear the sight of his present smiles and mildness, or the sound of his artificial good sentiments. She meant to avoid any such alteration of manners as might provoke a remonstrance on his side. It was a great object to her to escape all inquiry or a clot, but it was her intention to be as decidedly cool to him as might be compatible with their relationship, and to retrace, as quietly as she could, the few steps of unnecessary intimacy she had been gradually led along. She was accordingly more guarded and more cool than she had been the night before. He wanted to animate her curiosity again as to how and where he could have heard her formerly praised, wanted very much to be gratified by more solicitation, but the charm was broken. He found that the heat and animation of a public room was necessary to kindle his modest cousin's vanity. He found, at least, that it was not to be done now by any of those attempts which he could hazard among the two commanding claims of the others. He little surmised that it was a subject acting now exactly against his interest, bringing immediately to her thoughts all those parts of his conduct which were least excusable. She had some satisfaction in finding that he was really going out of Bath the next morning, going early, and that he would be gone the greater part of two days. He was invited again to Camden Place the very evening of his return, but from Thursday to Saturday evening his absence was certain. It was bad enough that a Mrs. Clay should be always before her, but that a deeper hypocrite should be added to their party seemed the destruction of everything like peace and comfort. It was so humiliating to reflect on the constant deception practiced on her father and Elizabeth, to consider the various sources of mortification preparing for them. Mrs. Clay's selfishness was not so complicated nor so revolting as his, and Anne would have compounded for the marriage at once, with all its evils, to be clear of Mr. Elliott's subtleties in endeavouring to prevent it. On Friday morning she meant to go very early to Lady Russell and accomplish the necessary communication, and she would have gone directly after breakfast but that Mrs. Clay was also going out on some obliging purpose of saving her sister trouble, which determined her to wait till she might be safe from such a companion. She saw Mrs. Clay fairly off, therefore, before she began to talk of spending the morning in River Street. Very well, said Elizabeth, I have nothing to send but my love. Oh, you may as well take back that tiresome book she would lend me, and pretend I have read it through. I really cannot be plaguing myself for ever with all the new poems and states of the nation that come out. Lady Russell quite boars one with her new publications. You need not tell her so, but I thought her dress hideous the other night. I used to think she had some taste in dress, but I was ashamed of her at the concert. Something so formal and arranged in her air, and she sits so upright. My best love, of course. And mine, added Sir Walter, kindest regards, and you may say that I mean to call upon her soon. Make a civil message, but I shall only leave my card. During visits are never fair by women at her time of life who make themselves up so little. If she would only wear rouge she would not be afraid of being seen, but last time I called I observed the blinds were let down immediately. While her father spoke there was a knock at the door. Who could it be? Anne, remembering the pre-concerted visits at all hours of Mr. Elliot, would have expected him, but for his known engagement seven miles off. After the usual period of suspense the usual sounds of approach were heard, and Mr. and Mrs. Charles Musgrove were ushered into the room. Surprise was the strongest emotion raised by their appearance, but Anne was really glad to see them, and the others were not so sorry but that they could put on a decent air of welcome. And as soon as it became clear that these, their nearest relations, were not arrived with any views of accommodation in that house, Sir Walter and Elizabeth were able to rise in cordiality and do the honours of it very well. They were come to Bath for a few days with Mrs. Musgrove, and were at the White Heart. So much was pretty soon understood, but till Sir Walter and Elizabeth were walking Mary into the other drawing-room, and regaling themselves with her admiration, Anne could not draw upon Charles's brain for a regular history of their coming, or an explanation of some smiling hints of particular business, which had been ostentatiously dropped by Mary, as well as of some apparent confusion as to whom their party consisted of. She then found that it consisted of Mrs. Musgrove, Henrietta, and Captain Harville beside their two selves. He gave her a very plain, intelligible account of the whole, a narration in which she saw a great deal of most characteristic proceeding. The scheme had received its first impulse by Captain Harville's wanting to come to Bath on business. He had begun to talk of it a week ago, and by way of doing something, as shooting was over, Charles had proposed coming with him, and Mrs. Harville had seemed to like the idea of it very much, as Anne had an advantage to her husband, but Mary could not bear to be left, and had made herself so unhappy about it that for a day or two everything seemed to be in suspense, or at an end. But then it had been taken up by his father and mother. His mother had some old friends in Bath whom she wanted to see. It was thought a good opportunity for Henrietta to come and buy wedding clothes for herself and her sister. And in short it ended in being his mother's party, that everything might be comfortable and easy to Captain Harville, and he and Mary were included in it by way of general convenience. They had arrived late the night before. Mrs. Harville, her children, and Captain Benwick remained with Mr. Musgrove and Louisa at Upper Cross. Anne's only surprise was that affairs should be in forwardness enough for Henrietta's wedding clothes to be talked of. She had imagined such difficulties of fortune to exist there as must prevent the marriage from being near at hand. But she learned from Charles that, very recently, since Mary's last letter to herself, Charles' hater had been applied to by a friend to hold a living for a youth who could not possibly claim it under many years, and that on the strength of his present income, with almost a certainty of something more permanent long before the term in question, the two families had consented to the young people's wishes, and that their marriage was likely to take place in a few months, quite as soon as Louisa's. And a very good living it was, Charles added, only five and twenty miles from Upper Cross, and in a very fine country, a fine part of Dorsetshire. In the centre of some of the best preserves in the kingdom, surrounded by three great proprietors, each more careful and jealous than the other, and to two of the three at least, Charles' hater might get a special recommendation, not that he will value it as he ought, he observed. Charles is too cool about sporting. That's the worst of him. I am extremely glad indeed, cried Anne, particularly glad that this should happen, and that of two sisters, who both deserve equally well, and who have always been such good friends, the pleasant prospect of one should not be dimming those of the other. That they should be so equal in their prosperity and comfort. I hope your father and mother are quite happy with regard to both. Oh, yes, my father would be well pleased if the gentlemen were richer, but he has no other fault to find. Money, you know, coming down with money. Two daughters at once. It cannot be a very agreeable operation, and it straightens him as to many things. However, I do not mean to say they have not a right to it. It is very fit they should have daughters' shares, and I am sure he has always been a very kind, liberal father to me. He does not above half like Henrietta's match. She never did, you know, but she does not do him justice, nor think enough about Winthrop. I cannot make her attend to the value of the property. It is a very fair match, as times go, and I have liked Charles hater all my life, and I shall not leave off now. Such excellent parents, as Mr. and Mrs. Musgrove, exclaimed Anne, should be happy in their children's marriages. They do everything to confer happiness, I am sure. What a blessing to young people to be in such hands. Your father and mother seem so totally free from all those ambitious feelings which have led to so much misconduct and misery, both in young and old. I hope you think Louisa perfectly recovered now? He answered rather hesitatingly. Yes, I believe I do, very much recovered, but she is altered. There is no running or jumping about, no laughing or dancing. It is quite different. If one happens only to shut the door a little hard, she starts and wriggles like a young dab-chick in the water, and Benwick sits at her elbow reading verses or whispering to her all day long. Anne could not help laughing. That cannot be much to your taste, I know, said she, but I do believe him to be an excellent young man. To be sure he is, nobody doubts it, and I hope you do not think I am so illiberal as to want every man to have the same objects and pleasures as myself. I have a great value for Benwick, and when one can but get him to talk he has plenty to say. His reading has done him no harm, for he has fought as well as read. He is a brave fellow. I got more acquainted with him last Monday than ever I did before. We had a famous set to add rat-hunting all the morning in my father's great barns, and he played his part so well that I have liked him the better ever since. Here they were interrupted by the absolute necessity of Charles's following the others to admire mirrors and china, but Anne had heard enough to understand the present state of upper-cross and rejoice in its happiness, and though she sighed as she rejoiced, her sigh had none of the ill-will of envy in it. She would certainly have risen to their blessings if she could, but she did not want to lessen theirs. The visit passed off altogether in high good humour. Mary was in excellent spirits, enjoying the gaiety and the change, and so well satisfied with the journey in her mother-in-law's carriage with four horses, and with her own complete independence of Camden Place, that she was exactly in a temper to admire everything as she ought, and enter most readily into all the superiorities of the house as they were detailed to her. She had no demands on her father or sister, and her consequence was just enough increased by their handsome drawing-rooms. Elizabeth was, for a short time, suffering a good deal. She felt that Mrs. Musgrove and all her party ought to be asked to dine with them, but she could not bear to have the difference of style, the reduction of servants, which a dinner must betray, witnessed by those who had been always so inferior to the elliots of Kellynch. It was a struggle between propriety and vanity, but vanity got the better, and then Elizabeth was happy again. These were her internal persuasions. Old-fashioned notions, country hospitality, we do not profess to give dinners, few people in Bath do. Lady Alicia never does, did not even ask her own sister's family, though they were here a month, and I dare say it would be very inconvenient to Mrs. Musgrove put her quite out of her way. I am sure she would rather not come. She cannot feel easy with us. I will ask them all for an evening. That will be much better. That will be a novelty and a treat. They have not seen two such drawing-rooms before. They will be delighted to come to-morrow evening. It shall be a regular party, small, but most elegant. And this satisfied Elizabeth. And when the invitation was given to the two present, and promised for the absent, Mary was as completely satisfied. She was particularly asked to meet Mr. Elliot, and be introduced to Lady Dalrymple and Miss Carteret, who were fortunately already engaged to come, and she could not have received a more gratifying attention. Miss Elliot was to have the honour of calling on Mrs. Musgrove in the course of the morning, and Anne walked off with Charles and Mary to go and see her and Henrietta directly. Her plan of sitting with Lady Russell must give way for the present. They all three called in Rivers Street for a couple of minutes, but Anne convinced herself that a day's delay of the intended communication could be of no consequence, and hastened forward to the White Heart to see again the friends and companions of the last autumn, with an eagerness of goodwill which many associations contributed to form. They found Mrs. Musgrove and her daughter within, and by themselves, and Anne had the kindest welcome from each. Henrietta was exactly in that state of recently improved views of fresh-formed happiness which made her full of regard and interest for everybody she had ever liked before at all, and Mrs. Musgrove's real affection had been won by her usefulness when they were in distress. It was a heartiness and a warmth, and a sincerity which Anne delighted in the more from the sad want of such blessings at home. She was entreated to give them as much of her time as possible, invited for every day and all day long, or rather claimed as part of the family, and in return she naturally fell into all her wanted ways of attention and assistance, and on Charles's leaving them together was listening to Mrs. Musgrove's history of Louisa, and to Henrietta's of herself, giving opinions on business and recommendations to shops, with intervals of every help which Mary required, from altering her ribbon to settling her accounts, from finding her keys and assorting her trinkets, to trying to convince her that she was not ill-used by anybody, which Mary, well amused as she generally was, in her station at a window overlooking the entrance to the pomp-room, could not but have her moments of imagining. A morning of thorough confusion was to be expected. A large party and a hotel ensured a quick changing, unsettled scene. One five minutes brought a note, the next to parcel, and Anne had not been there half an hour when their dining-room, spacious as it was, seemed more than half filled. A party of steady old friends were seated around Mrs. Musgrove, and Charles came back with Captains Harville and Wentworth. The appearance of the latter could not be more than the surprise of the moment. It was impossible for her to have forgotten to feel that this arrival of their common friends must be soon bringing them together again. Their last meeting had been most important in opening his feelings. She had derived from it a delightful conviction, but she feared from his looks that the same unfortunate persuasion which had hazened him away from the concert-room still governed. He did not seem to want to be near enough for conversation. She tried to be calm and leave things to take their course, and tried to dwell much on this argument of rational dependence. Surely, if there be constant attachment on each side, our hearts must understand each other ere long. We are not boy and girl, to be capsiously irritable, misled by every moment's inadvertence, and wantonly playing with our own happiness. And yet, a few minutes afterwards, she felt as if their being in company with each other, under their present circumstances, could only be exposing them to inadvertencies and misconstructions of the most mischievous kind. Anne! cried Mary, still at her window. There is Mrs. Clay, I am sure, standing under the colonnade, and a gentleman with her. I saw them turn the corner from Bath Street just now. They seemed deep in talk. Who is it? Come and tell me. Good heavens, I recollect. It is Mr. Elliot himself. No! cried Anne quickly. It cannot be Mr. Elliot, I assure you. He was to leave Bath at nine this morning, and does not come back till to-morrow. As she spoke, she felt that Captain Wentworth was looking at her, the consciousness of which vexed and embarrassed her, and made her regret that she had said so much, simple as it was. Mary, resenting that she should be supposed not to know her own cousin, began talking very warmly about the family features, and protesting still more positively that it was Mr. Elliot, calling again upon Anne to come and look for herself. But Anne did not mean to stir, and tried to be cool and unconcerned. Her distress returned, however, on perceiving smiles and intelligent glances past between two or three of the Lady Visitors, as if they believed themselves quite in the secret. It was evident that the report concerning her had spread, and a short pause succeeded, which seemed to ensure that it would now spread farther. Do come, Anne, cried Mary, come and look yourself. You will be too late if you do not make haste. They are parting. They are shaking hands. He is turning away. Not no, Mr. Elliot, indeed. You seem to have forgot all about Lyme. To pacify Mary, and perhaps screen her own embarrassment, Anne did move quietly to the window. She was just in time to ascertain that it really was Mr. Elliot, which she had never believed, before he disappeared on one side, as Mrs. Clay walked quickly off on the other, and checking the surprise which she could not but feel at such an appearance of friendly conference between two persons of totally opposite interest, she calmly said, Yes, it is Mr. Elliot, certainly. He has changed his hour of going, I suppose, that is all, or I may be mistaken, I might not attend. And walked back to her chair, recomposed, and with the comfortable hope of having acquitted herself well. The visitors took their leave, and Charles, having civilly seen them off, and then made a face at them, and abused them for coming, began with, Well, mother, I have done something for you that you will like. I have been to the theatre, and secured a box for to-morrow night. Ain't I a good boy? I know you love a play, and there is room for us all. It holds nine. I have engaged Captain Wentworth, and will not be sorry to join us, I am sure. We all like a play. Have not I done well, mother? Mrs. Musgrove was good humorily beginning to express her perfect readiness for the play, if Henrietta and all the others liked it, when Mary eagerly interrupted her by exclaiming, Good heavens, Charles, how can you think of such a thing? Take a box for to-morrow night. Have you forgot that we are engaged to Camden Place to-morrow night, and that we were most particularly asked to meet Lady Dalrymple and her daughter, and Mr. Elliot, and all the principal family connections on purpose to be introduced to them? How can you be so forgetful? Foo-foo, replied Charles, what's an evening party? Never worth remembering. Your father might have asked us to dinner, I think, if he had wanted to see us. You may do as you like, but I shall go to the play. Oh, Charles, I declare it will be too abominable if you do when you promise to go. No, I did not promise. I only smirked and bowed and said the word happy. There was no promise. But you must go, Charles, it would be unpardonable to fail. We were asked on purpose to be introduced. There was always such a great connection between the Dalrymples and ourselves. Nothing ever happened on either side that was not announced immediately.  Every attention is due to Mr. Elliot. Consider my father's heir, the future representative of the family. Don't talk to me about heirs and representatives, cried Charles. I am not one of those who neglect the reigning power to bow to the rising son. If I would not go for the sake of your father, I should think it scandalous to go for the sake of his heir. What is Mr. Elliot to me? The careless expression was life to Anne, who saw that Captain Wentworth was all attention, looking and listening with his whole soul, and that the last words brought his inquiring eyes from Charles to herself. Charles and Mary still talked on in the same style, he half serious and half jesting, maintaining the scheme for the play, and she, invariably serious, most warmly opposing it, and not omitting to make it known that, however determined to go to Camden Place herself, she should not think herself very well used if they went to the play without her. Mrs. Musgrove Interposed. We had better put it off. Charles, you had much better go back and change the box for Tuesday. It would be a pity to be divided, and we should be losing Miss Anne, too, if there is a party at her father's, and I am sure neither Henrietta nor I should care at all for the play, if Miss Anne could not be with us. Anne felt truly obliged to her for such kindness, and quite as much so for the opportunity it gave her of decidedly saying, If it depended only on my inclination, ma'am, the party at home, accepting on Mary's account, would not be the smallest impediment. I have no pleasure in the sort of meeting, and should be too happy to change it for a play, and with you. But it had better not be attempted perhaps. She had spoken it, but she trembled when it was done, conscious that her words were listened to, and daring not even to try to observe their effect. It was soon generally agreed that Tuesday should be the day. Charles, only reserving the advantage of still teasing his wife by persisting that he would go to the play tomorrow if nobody else would. Captain Wentworth left his seat and walked to the fireplace, probably for the sake of walking away from it soon afterwards, and taking a station with less bare-faced design by Anne. You have not been long enough in Bath, said he, to enjoy the evening parties of the place. Oh, no! The usual character of them has nothing for me. I am no card player. You were not formerly, I know. You did not used to like cards, but time makes many changes. I am not so much changed, cried Anne, and stopped, fearing she hardly knew what misconstruction. After waiting a few moments he said, and as if it were the result of immediate feeling. It is a period indeed. Eight years and a half is a period. Whether he would have proceeded farther was left to Anne's imagination to ponder over in a calmer hour. For while still hearing the sounds he had uttered, she was startled to other subjects by Henrietta, eager to make use of the present leisure for getting out, and calling on her companions to lose no time lest somebody else should come in. They were obliged to move. Anne talked of being perfectly ready, and tried to look it, but she felt that could Henrietta have known the regret and reluctance of her heart in quitting that chair, in preparing to quit the room. She would have found, in all her own sensations for her cousin, in the very security of his affection, wherewith to pity her. Their preparations, however, were stopped short. Alarming sounds were heard, other visitors approached, and the door was thrown open for Sir Walter and Miss Elliot, whose entrance seemed to give a general chill. Anne felt an instant oppression, and wherever she looked saw symptoms of the same. The comfort, the freedom, the gaiety of the room was over, hushed into cold composure, determined silence, or insipid talk, to meet the heartless elegance of her father and sister. How mortifying to feel that it was so! Her jealous eye was satisfied in one particular. Captain Wentworth was acknowledged again by each, by Elizabeth more graciously than before. She even addressed him once, and looked at him more than once. Elizabeth was, in fact, revolving a great measure. The sequel explained it. After the waste of a few minutes in saying the proper nothings, she began to give the invitation which was to comprise all the remaining dues of the Musgroves. It was all said very gracefully, and the cards with which she had provided herself, the Miss Elliot at home, were laid on the table with a courteous, comprehensive smile to all, and one smile and one card more decidedly for Captain Wentworth. The truth was that Elizabeth had been long enough in Bath to understand the importance of a man of such an heir and appearance as his. The past was nothing. The present was that Captain Wentworth would move about well in her drawing room. The card was pointedly given, and Sir Walter and Elizabeth arose and disappeared. The interruption had been short, though severe, and ease and animation returned to most of those they left as the door shut them out, but not to Anne. She could think only of the invitation she had with such astonishment witnessed, and of the manner in which it had been received, a manner of doubtful meaning, of surprise rather than gratification, of polite acknowledgment rather than acceptance. She knew him. She saw a disdain in his eye and could not venture to believe that he had determined to accept such an offering as an atonement for all the insolence of the past. Her spirit sank. He held the card in his hand after they were gone, as if deeply considering it. Only think of Elizabeth's, including everybody! whispered Mary very audibly. I do not wonder, Captain Wentworth, as delighted, you see he cannot put the card out of his hand. Anne caught his eye, saw his cheeks glow, and his mouth form itself into a momentary expression of contempt, and turned away, that she might neither see nor hear more to vex her. The party separated. The gentlemen had their own pursuits, the ladies proceeded on their own business, and they met no more while Anne belonged to them. She was earnestly begged to return and dine and give them all the rest of the day, but her spirits had been so long exerted that at present she felt unequal to more, and fit only for home, where she might be sure of being as silent as she chose. Promising to be with them the whole of the following morning, therefore, she closed the fatigues of the present by a toilsome walk to Camden Place, there to spend the evening chiefly in listening to the busy arrangements of Elizabeth and Mrs. Clay for the morrow's party, the frequent enumeration of the persons invited, and the continually improving detail of all the embellishments which were to make it the most completely elegant of its kind in bath. While harassing herself with the never-ending question of whether Captain Wentworth would come or not, they were reckoning him as certain, but with hurt was a gnawing solicitude never appeased for five minutes together. She generally thought he would come, because she generally thought he ought, but it was a case which she could not so shape into any positive act of duty or discretion, as inevitably to defy the suggestions of very opposite feelings. She only roused herself from the broodings of this restless agitation to let Mrs. Clay know that she had been seen with Mr. Elliott three hours after his being supposed to be out of bath. For having watched in vain for some intimation of the interview from the lady herself, she determined to mention it, and it seemed to her there was guilt in Mrs. Clay's face as she listened. It was transient, cleared away in an instant, but Anne could imagine she read there the consciousness of having, by some complication of mutual trick, or some overbearing authority of his, been obliged to attend, perhaps for half an hour, to his lectures and restrictions on her designs on Sir Walter. She exclaimed, however, with a very tolerable imitation of nature. Oh! dear, very true, only think, Miss Elliott, to my great surprise I met with Mr. Elliott in Bath Street. I was never more astonished. He turned back and walked with me to the pump-yard. He had been prevented setting off for Thornberry. But I really forget by what, for I was in a hurry and could not much attend, and I can only answer for his being determined not to be delayed in his return. He wanted to know how early he might be admitted to-morrow. He was full of to-morrow, and it is very evident that I have been full of it, too, ever since I entered the house and learnt the extension of your plan and all that had happened, or my seeing him could never have gone so entirely out of my head. CHAPTER XXIII. One day only had passed since Anne's conversation with Mrs. Smith. But her keen interest had succeeded, and she was now so little touched by Mr. Elliott's conduct, except by its effect in one quarter, that it became a matter of course the next morning still to defer her explanatory visit in River Street. She had promised to be with the mass-groves from breakfast to dinner. Her faith was plighted, and Mr. Elliott's character, like the sultaness Chera's had, must live another day. She could not keep her appointment punctually, however. The weather was unfavourable, and she had grieved over the rain on her friend's account and felt it very much on her own before she was able to attempt the walk. When she reached the White Heart and made her way to the proper apartment, she found herself neither arriving quite in time, nor the first to arrive. The party before her were Mrs. Musgrove, talking to Mrs. Croft, and Captain Harville to Captain Wentworth. And she immediately heard that Mary and Henrietta, too impatient to wait, had gone out the moment it had cleared, but would be back again soon, and that the strictest injunctions had been left with Mrs. Musgrove to keep her there till they returned. She had only to submit, sit down, be outwardly composed, and feel herself plunged at once in all the agitations which she had merely laid her account of tasting a little before the morning closed. There was no delay, no waste of time. She was deep in the happiness of such misery, or the misery of such happiness instantly. Two minutes after her entering the room, Captain Wentworth said, We will write the letter we were talking of, Harville, now, if you will give me materials. Misses were at hand, on a separate table. He went to it, and nearly turning his back to them all, was engrossed by writing. Mrs. Musgrove was giving Mrs. Croft the history of her eldest daughter's engagement, and just in that inconvenient tone of voice, which was perfectly audible, while it pretended to be a whisper. Anne felt that she did not belong to the conversation, and yet, as Captain Harville seemed thoughtful and not disposed to talk, she could not avoid hearing many undesirable particulars, such as, how Mr. Musgrove and my brother Hater had met again and again to talk it over, what my brother Hater had said one day, and what Mr. Musgrove had proposed the next, and what had occurred to my sister Hater, and what the young people had wished, and what I said at first I never could consent to, but was afterwards persuaded to think my do very well. And a great deal, in the same style of open-hearted communication, me knew she a witch, even with every advantage of taste and delicacy, which good Mrs. Musgrove could not give, could be properly interesting only to the principles. Mrs. Croft was attending with great good humour, and whenever she spoke at all, it was very sensibly. Anne hoped the gentlemen might each be too much self-occupied to hear. And so, madam, all these things considered, said Mrs. Musgrove and her powerful whisper, though we could have wished it different yet, altogether we did not think it fair to stand out any longer, for Charles Hater was quite wild about it, and Henrietta was pretty near as bad, and so we thought they had better marry at once and make the best of it, as many others have done before them. At any rate, said I, it will be better than a long engagement. That is precisely what I was going to observe, cried Mrs. Croft. I would rather have young people settle on a small income at once, and have to struggle with a few difficulties together, than be involved in a long engagement. I always think that no mutual, oh dear Mrs. Croft, cried Mrs. Musgrove, unable to let her finish her speech. There is nothing I so abominate for young people as a long engagement. It is what I always protested against for my children. It is all very well, I used to say, for young people to be engaged, if there is a certainty of their being able to marry in six months, or even in twelve. But a long engagement, yes dear madam, said Mrs. Croft, or an uncertain engagement, an engagement which may be long. To begin without knowing that at such a time there will be the means of marrying, I hold to be very unsafe and unwise. And what I think all parents should prevent as far as they can. Anne found an unexpected interest here. She felt its application to herself, felt it in a nervous thrill all over her, and at the same moment that her eyes instinctively glanced towards the distant table, Captain Wentworth's pen ceased to move, his head was raised, pausing, listening, and he turned round the next instant to give a look, one quick, conscious look at her. The two ladies continued to talk, to re-urge the same admitted truths, and enforce them with such examples of the ill effect of a contrary practice as had fallen within their observation. But Anne heard nothing distinctly. It was only a buzz of words in her ear, her mind was in confusion. Captain Harville, who had in truth been hearing none of it, now left his seat and moved to a window, and Anne, seeming to watch him, though was from throughout absence of mind, became gradually sensible that he was inviting her to join him where he stood. He looked at her with a smile and a little motion of the head, which expressed, come to me, I have something to say, and the unaffected easy kindness of manner which denoted the feelings of an older acquaintance than he really was, strongly enforced the invitation. She roused herself and went to him. The window at which he stood was at the other end of the room from where the two ladies were sitting, and though nearer to Captain Wentworth's table, not very near. As she joined him, Captain Harville's countenance re-assumed the serious, thoughtful expression which seemed its natural character.  Do you know who that is? Certainly, Captain Benwick. Yes, and you may guess who it is for. But, in a deep tone, it was not done for her. Miss Elliot, do you remember our walking together at Lyme and grieving for him? I little thought then, but no matter. This was drawn at the Cape. He met with a clever young German artist at the Cape, and in compliance with a promise to my poor sister, said to him and was bringing it home for her. And I have now the charge of getting it properly set for another. It was a commission to me, but who else was there to employ? I hope I can allow for him. I am not sorry indeed to make it over to another. He undertakes it, looking towards Captain Wentworth. He is writing about it now. And with a quivering lip, he wound up the hole by adding, poor Fanny, she would not have forgotten him so soon. No, replied Anne in a low-feeling voice, that I can easily believe. It was not in her nature she doted on him. It would not be the nature of any woman who truly loved. Captain Harvel smiled as much as to say, do you claim that for your sex? And she answered the question smiling also, yes, we certainly do not forget you as soon as you forget us. It is perhaps our fate rather than our merit. We cannot help ourselves. We live at home quiet, confined, and our feelings prey upon us. You are forced on exertion. You have always a profession, pursuits, business of some sort or other, to take you back into the world immediately and continual occupation and change soon-weakened impressions. Granting your assertion that the world does all this so soon for man, which, however, I do not think I shall grant, it does not apply to Benwick. He has not been forced upon any exertion. The peace turned him on shore at the very moment, and he has been living with us in our little family circle ever since. True, said Anne, very true. I did not recollect. But what shall we say now, Captain Harvel? If the change be not from outward circumstances, it must be from within. It must be nature, man's nature, which has done the business for Captain Benwick. No, no, it is not man's nature. I will not allow it to be more man's nature than woman's to be inconsistent and forget those they do love or have loved. I believe the reverse. I believe in a true analogy between our bodily frames and our mental. And that as our bodies are the strongest, so are our feelings. People of bearing most rough usage and riding out the heaviest weather. Your feelings may be the strongest, replied Anne. But the same spirit of analogy will authorize me to assert that ours are the most tender. Man is more robust than woman, but he is not longer lived, which exactly explains my view of the nature of their attachments. Nay, it would be too hard upon you if it were otherwise. You have difficulties and privations and dangers enough to struggle with. You are always laboring and toiling, exposed to every risk and hardship. Your home, country, friends, all quitted, neither time, nor health, nor life, to be called your own. It would be hard indeed, with a faltering voice, if a woman's feelings were to be added to all this. We shall never agree upon this question, Captain Harville was beginning to say, when a slight noise called their attention to Captain Wentworth's hitherto perfectly quiet division of the room. It was nothing more than that his pan had fallen down. But Anne was startled at finding him nearer than she had supposed, and half inclined to suspect that the pan had only fallen because he had been occupied by them, striving to catch sounds which yet she did not think he could have caught. Have you finished your letter, said Captain Harville? Not quite, a few lines more. I shall have done in five minutes. There is no hurry on my side. I am only ready whenever you are. I am in very good anchorage here, smiling at Anne. Well supplied and want for nothing. No hurry for a signal at all. Well, Miss Elliot, lowering his voice, as I was saying, we shall never agree, I suppose, upon this point. No man and woman would, probably, but let me observe that all histories are against you, all stories, prose and verse. If I had such a memory as Benwick, I could bring you fifty quotations in a moment on my side the argument. And I do not think I ever opened a book in my life which had not something to say upon woman's inconstancy, songs and proverbs, all talk of woman's fickleness. But perhaps you will say these were all written by man. Perhaps I shall? Yes. Yes, a few, please, no references to examples in books. Men have had every advantage of us in telling their own story. Education has been theirs in so much higher a degree. The pen has been in their hands. I will not allow books to prove anything. But how shall we prove anything? We never shall. We never can expect to prove anything upon such a point. It is the difference of opinion which does not admit of proof. We each begin, probably, with a little bias towards our own sex, and upon that bias build every circumstance in favour of it which has occurred within our own circle, many of which circumstances, perhaps those very cases which strike us the most, maybe precisely such, this cannot be brought forward without betraying a confidence, or in some respect saying, what should not be said? Ah, cried Captain Harvel, in a tone of strong feeling, if I could but make you comprehend what a man suffers when he takes a last look at his wife and children, and watches the boat that he has sent them off in, as long as it is in sight, and then turns away and says, God knows whether we ever meet again. And then, if I could convey to you the glow of his soul when he does see them again, when, coming back after a twelve month absence perhaps, and obliged to put into another port, he calculates how soon it be possible to get them there, pretending to receive himself and saying, they cannot be here till such a day. But all the while hoping for them twelve hours sooner, and seeing them arrive at last, as if heaven had given them wings by many hours sooner still. If I could explain to you all this, and all that a man can bear and do, and glories to do, for the sake of these treasures of his existence, I speak, you know, only of such man as have hearts, pressing his own with emotion. Oh, cried Anne eagerly, I hope I do justice to all that is felt by you, and by those who resemble you. God forbid that I should undervalue the warm and faithful feelings of any of my fellow creatures. I should deserve utter contempt if I dare to suppose that true attachment and constancy were known only by woman. No, I believe you capable of everything great and good in your married lives. I believe you equal to every important exertion and to every domestic forbearance, so long as, if I may be allowed the expression, so long as you have an object. I mean, while the woman you love lives, and lives for you, all the privilege I claim for my own sex, it is not a very enviable one, you need not covet it. Is that of loving longest when existence, or when hope is gone? She could not immediately have uttered another sentence. Her heart was too full, her breath too much oppressed.  There is no quarreling with you, and when I think of Banwick, my tongue is tied. Their attention was called towards the others. Mrs. Croft was taking leave. Here, Frederick, you and I part company, I believe, she said. I am going home, and you have an engagement with your friend. Tonight we may have the pleasure of all meeting again at your party, turning to Anne. We had your sister's card yesterday, and I understood Frederick had a card too, though I did not see it. And you had disengaged, Frederick, are you not, as well as ourselves? Captain Wentworth was folding up a letter in great haste, and either could not or would not answer fully. Yes, said he, very true. Here we separate, but Harvel and I shall soon be after you. But, Miss Harvel, if you are ready, I am in half a minute. I know you will not be sorry to be off. I shall be at your service in half a minute. Mrs. Croft left them, and Captain Wentworth, having sealed his letter with great rapidity, was indeed ready, and had even a hurried, agitated air which chewed impatience to be gone. Anne knew not how to understand it. She had the kindest, good morning, God bless you, from Captain Harvel, but from him not a word nor a look. He had passed out of the room without a look. She had only time, however, to move closer to the table where he had been writing. When footsteps were heard returning, the door opened, it was himself. He begged their pardon, but he had forgotten his gloves, and instantly crossing the room to the writing table, he drew out a letter from under the scattered paper, placed it before Anne, with eyes of glowing entreaty fixed on her for a time, and hastily collecting his gloves was again out of the room almost before Mrs. Musgrove was aware of his being in it the work of an instant. The revolution which one instant had made in Anne was almost beyond expression. The letter, with a direction hardly legible to Miss A.E., was evidently the one which he had been folding so hastily. All supposed to be writing only to Captain Benwick, he had been also addressing her. On the contents of that letter depended all which this world could do for her. Anything was possible, anything might be defied rather than suspense. Mrs. Musgrove had little arrangements of her own at her own table. To their protection she must trust, and sinking into the chair which he had occupied, succeeding to the very spot where he had leaned and written, her eyes devouring the following words. I can listen no longer in silence. I must speak to you by such means as I within my reach. You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope. Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever. I offer myself to you again, with a heart even more your own than when you almost broke it eight years and a half ago. Can not say that man forgets sooner than woman, that his love has an earlier death. I have loved none but you. Unjust I may have been, weak and resentful I have been, but never in constant. You alone have brought me to Bath, for you alone I think and plan. Have you not seen this? Can you fail to have understood my wishes? I had not waited even these ten days could I have read your feelings, as I think you must have penetrated mine. I can hardly write. I am every instant hearing something which overpowers me. You think your voice, but I can distinguish the tones of that voice, when they would be lost on others. Too good, too excellent creature, you do us justice indeed. You do believe that there is true attachment and constancy among men. Believe it to be most fervent, most undeviating in FW. I must go, uncertain of my fate. But I shall return hither or follow your party as soon as possible.  Such a letter was not to be soon recovered from. Half an hour solitude and reflection might have tranquilized her, but the ten minutes only which now passed before she was interrupted with all the restraints of her situation could do nothing towards tranquility. Every moment rather brought fresh agitation. It was overpowering happiness. And before she was beyond the first stage of full sensation, Charles, Mary and Henrietta all came in. The absolute necessity of seeming like herself produced then an immediate struggle, but after a while she could do no more. She began not to understand a word they said, and was obliged to plead in this position and excuse herself. They could then see that she looked very ill, were shocked and concerned, and would not stir without her for the world. This was dreadful. Would they only have gone away and left her in the quiet possession of that room, it would have been her cure. But to have them all standing or waiting around her was distracting, and in desperation she said she would go home. By all means, my dear, cried Mrs. Musgrove, go home directly, and take care of yourself that you may be fit for the evening. I wish Sarah was here to doctor you, but I am no doctor myself. Charles, ring and order a chair. She must not walk. But the chair would never do, worse than all. To lose the possibility of speaking two words to Captain Wentworth in the course of her quiet solitary progress up the town, and she felt almost certain of meeting him, could not be born. The chair was earnestly protested against, and Mrs. Musgrove, who thought only of one sort of illness, having assured herself with some anxiety that there had been no fall in the case, that Anne had not at any time lately slipped down and got a blow on her head, that she was perfectly convinced of having had no fall, could part with her cheerfully and depend on finding her better at night. Anxious to omit no possible precaution, Anne struggled and said, I am afraid, madam, that it is not perfectly understood, pray be so good as to mention to the other gentlemen, that we hope to see your whole party this evening. I am afraid there had been some mistake, and I wish you particularly to assure Captain Harvel and Captain Wentworth, that we hope to see them both.  Captain Harvel has no thought but of going. Do you think so? But I am afraid, and I should be so very sorry. Will you promise me to mention it when you see them again? You will see them both this morning, I dare say? Do promise me. To be sure I will if you wish it. Charles, if you see Captain Harvel anywhere, remember to give Miss Anne's message. But indeed, my dear, you need not be uneasy. Captain Harvel holds himself quite engaged, I'll answer for it, and Captain Wentworth the same, I dare say. Anne could do no more, but her heart prophesied some mistrance to damp the perfection of her felicity. It could not be very lasting, however. Even if he did not come to Camden Place himself, it would be in her power to send an intelligible sentence by Captain Harvel. Another momentary vexation occurred. Charles, in his real concern and good nature, would go home with her. There was no preventing him. This was almost true. But she could not be long ungrateful. He was sacrificing an engagement at a gunsmith to be of use to her, and she set off with him with no feeling but gratitude apparent. They were on Junion Street, when a quicker step behind, a something of familiar sound gave her two moments of preparation for the sight of Captain Wentworth. He joined them, but as if a resolute, whether to join or to pass on, said nothing, only looked. Anne could command herself enough to receive that look, and not repulsively. The cheeks, which had been pale, now glowed, and the movements which had hesitated were decided. He walked beside her. Presently, struck by a sudden thought, Charles said, Captain Wentworth, which way are you going?  I hardly know, replied Captain Wentworth, surprised. Are you going as high as Belmont? Are you going near Camden Place? Because if you are, I shall have no scruple in asking you to take my place and give Anne your arm to her father's door. She is rather done for this morning and must not go so far without help, and I ought to be at that fellow's in market place. He promised me the sight of a capital gun he is just going to send off. Said he would keep it unpacked to the last possible moment that I might see it, and if I do not turn back now, I have no chance. By his description a good deal like the second-size double-barrel of mine, which you shot with one day run wind-throb. There could not be an objection. There could be only the most proper alacrity, a most obliging compliance for public view, and smiles reigned in in spirits, dancing, and private rapture. In half a minute Charles was at the bottom of Union Street again, and the other two proceeding together, and soon words enough had passed between them to decide their direction towards the comparatively quiet and retired gravel walk, where the power of conversation would make the present hour a blessing indeed, and prepare it for all the immortality which the happiest recollections of their own future lives could bestow. There they exchanged again those feelings and those promises which had once before seemed to secure everything, but which had been followed by so many, many years of division and estrangement. There they returned again into the past, more exquisitely happy perhaps in their reunion than when it had been first projected, more tender, more tried, more fixed in the knowledge of each other's character, truth, and attachment, more equal to act, more justified in acting. And there, as they slowly paced the gradual ascent, heedless of every group around them, seeing neither sauntering politicians, bustling housekeepers, flirting girls, nor nursery mates and children, they could indulge in those retrospections and acknowledgments, and especially in those explanations of what had directly preceded the present moment, which were so poignant and so ceaseless in interest. All the little variations of the last week were gone through, and of yesterday and today there could scarcely be an end. She had not mistaken him. Jealousy of Mr. Elliot had been at the retarding wait, the doubt, the torment. That had begun to operate in the very hour of first meeting her in Bath, that had returned after a short suspension to ruin the concert, and that had influenced him in everything he had said and done or omitted to say and do in the last four and twenty hours. It had been gradually yielding to the better hopes which her looks or words or actions occasionally encouraged. It had been vanquished at last by those sentiments and those tones which had reached him while she talked with Captain Harville, and under the irresistible governance of which he had seized a sheet of paper and poured out his feelings. Of what he had then written, nothing was to be retracted or qualified. He persisted in having loved none but her. She had never been supplanted. He never even believed himself to see her equal. Thus much indeed he was obliged to acknowledge that he had been constant unconsciously, nay unintentionally, that he had meant to forget her and believed it to be done. He had imagined himself indifferent when he had only been angry, and he had been unjust to her merits because he had been a sufferer from them. Her character was now fixed on his mind as perfection itself, maintaining the loveliest medium of fortitude and gentleness, but he was obliged to acknowledge that only at Apocross had he learned to do her justice, and only at Lyme had he begun to understand himself. At Lyme he had received lessons of more than one sort. The passing admiration of Mr. Elliot had at least roused him, and the scenes on the cop and at Captain Harveld's had fixed her superiority. In his preceding attempts to attach himself to Louisa Musgrove, the attempts of angry pride, he protested that he had forever felt it to be impossible, that he had not cared, could not care for Louisa, though till that day, till the leisure for reflection which followed it, he had not understood the perfect excellence of the mind with which Louisa's could so ill bear a comparison, or the perfect unrivaled hold it possessed over his own. There he had learned to distinguish between the steadiness of principle and the obstinacy of self-will, between the daring of heedlessness and the resolution of a collected mind. There he had seen everything to exalt in his estimation the woman he had lost, and there begun to deplore the pride, the folly, the madness of resentment which had kept him from trying to regain her when thrown in his way. From that period his penance had become severe. He had no sooner been free from the horror and remorse attending the first few days of Louisa's accident, no sooner begun to feel himself alive again than he had begun to feel himself, though alive, knotted liberty. I found, said he, that I was considered by Harville an engaged man, that neither Harville nor his wife entertained a doubt of our mutual attachment. I was startled and shocked. To a degree I could contradict this instantly, but when I began to reflect that others might have felt the same, her own family, nay, perhaps herself, I was no longer at my own disposal. I was hers in honour if she wished it. I had been unguarded. I had not thought seriously on this subject before. I had not considered that my excessive intimacy must have its danger of ill consequence in many ways, and that I had no right to be trying whether I could attach myself to either of the girls at the risk of raising even an unpleasant report where there are no other ill effects. I had been grossly wrong and must abide the consequences. He found too late, in short, that he had entangled himself, and that precisely as he became fully satisfied of his not caring for Louisa at all, he must regard himself as bound to her if her sentiments for him were what the Harvils supposed. It determined him to leave Lyme and to wait her complete recovery elsewhere. He would gladly weaken by any fair means whatever feelings or speculations concerning him might exist, and he went, therefore, to his brothers, meaning after a while to return to Kallinj and act as circumstances might require. I was six weeks with Edward, said he, and saw him happy. I could have no other pleasure. I deserved none. He inquired after you very particularly, asked even if you were personally altered, little suspecting that to my eye you could never alter. Anne smiled and let it pass. It was too pleasing a blunder for a reproach. It is something for a woman to be assured in her eight-and-twentieth year that she has not lost one charm of earlier youth, but the value of such homage was inexpressibly increased to Anne by comparing it with former words, and feeling it to be the result, not the cause of a revival of his warm attachment. He had remained in shrubshire, lamenting the blindness of his own pride, and the blunders of his own calculations till at once released from Louisa by the astonishing and malicious intelligence of her engagement with Benwick. Here, said he, ended the worst of my state. For now I could at least put myself in the way of happiness. I could exert myself, I could do something, but to be waiting so long in inaction and waiting only for evil had been dreadful. Within the first five minutes I said I will be at Bath on Wednesday, and I was. Was it unpardonable to think it worth my while to come and to arrive with some degree of hope? You were single. It was possible that you might retain the feelings of the past as I did, and one encouragement happened to be mine. I could never doubt that you would be loved and sought by others, but I knew to a certainty that you had refused one man at least of better pretensions than myself, and I could not help often saying, was this for me? Their first meeting in Milsom Street afforded much to be said, but the concert still more. That evening seemed to be made up of exquisite moments. The moment of her stepping forward in the octagon room to speak to him, the moment of Mr. Eliot's appearing and tearing her away, and one or two subsequent moments marked by returning hope or increasing despondency were dwelt on with energy. To see you, Crichty, in the midst of those who could not be my well-wishers, to see your cousin close by you, conversing and smiling, and feel all the horrible eligibility and proprieties of the match, to consider it as the certain wish of every being who could hope to influence you, even if your own feelings were reluctant or indifferent, to consider what powerful supports would be his. Was it not enough to make the fool of me which I appeared? How could I look on without agony? Was not the very sight of the friend who sat behind you, was not the recollection of what had been, the knowledge of her influence, the indelible, immovable impression of what persuasion had once done? Was it not all against me? You should have distinguished, replied Anne. You should not have suspected me now. The case is so different, and my age is so different. If I was wrong in yielding to persuasion once, remember that it was to persuasion exerted on the sight of safety, not of risk. When I yielded, I thought it was to duty, but no duty could be called ined here. And marrying a man indifferent to me, all risk would have been incurred, and all duty violated. Perhaps I ought to have reasoned thus, he replied, but I could not. I could not derive benefit from the late knowledge I had acquired of your character. I could not bring it into play. It was overwhelmed, buried, lost in those earlier feelings which I had been smarting under year after year. I could think of you only as one who had yielded, who had given me up, who had been influenced by anyone rather than by me. I saw you with a very person who had guided you in that year of misery. I had no reason to believe her of less authority now. The force of habit was to be added. I should have thought, said Anne, that my manner to yourself might have spared you of much, or all of this. No, no, your manner might be only the ease which your engagement to another man would give. I left you in disbelief, and yet I was determined to see you again. My spirits rallied with the morning, and I felt that I had still a motive of remaining here. At last Anne was at home again, and happier than anyone in that house could have conceived. All the surprise and suspense, and every other painful part of the morning dissipated by this conversation, she re-entered the house so happy as to be obliged to find an alloy in some momentary apprehensions of its being impossible to last. An interval of meditation, serious and grateful, was the best corrective of everything dangerous in such high-rod felicity, and she went to her room and grew steadfast and fearless in the thankfulness of her enjoyment. The evening came, the drawing-rooms were lighted up, the company assembled. It was but a card-party. It was but a mixture of those who had never met before and those who met too often. A commonplace business, too numerous for intimacy, too small for variety, but Anne had never found an evening shorter. Glowing and lovely insensibility and happiness, and more generally admired than she thought about or cared for, she had cheerful or for bearing feelings for every creature around her. Mr. Elliot was there, she avoided, but she could pity him. The wallaces she had amusement in understanding them. Lady Dalrymple and Miss Cartridge, they would soon be inoctious cousins to her. She cared not for Mrs. Clay, and had nothing to blush for in the public menace of her father and sister. With the musk-roaves there was the happy chat of perfect ease. With Captain Harville the kind-hearted intercourse of brother and sister, with Lady Russell attempts at conversation which a delicious consciousness cut short. With Admiral and Mrs. Croft everything of peculiar cordiality and fervent interest which the same consciousness sought to conceal. And with Captain Wentworth some moments of communications continually occurring, and always the hope for more, and always the knowledge of his being there. It wasn't one of these short meetings, each apparently occupied in admiring a fine display of greenhouse plants, that she said, I have been thinking over the past and trying impartially to judge of the right and wrong, I mean with regard to myself. And I must believe that I was right, much as I suffered from it, that I was perfectly right in being guided by the friend whom you will love better than you do now. To me she was in the place of a parent. Do not mistake me, however. I am not saying that she did not err in her advice. It was perhaps one of those cases in which advice is good or bad only as the event decides, and for myself I certainly never should in any circumstance of tolerable similarity give such advice. But I mean that I was right in submitting to her, and that if I had done otherwise I should have suffered more in continuing the engagement than I did even in giving it up, because I should have suffered in my conscience. I have now, as far as such a sentiment is allowable in human nature, nothing to reproach myself with. And if I mistake not, a strong sense of duty is no bad part of a woman's portion. He looked at her, looked at Lady Russell, and looking again at her replied as if in cool deliberation, not yet, but there are hopes of her being forgiven in time. I trust to being in charity with her soon, but I too have been thinking over the past, and a question has suggested itself whether they may not have been one person more my enemy than that lady, my own self. Tell me if, when I returned to England in the year eight, with a few thousand pounds and was posted into the Laconia, if I had then written to you what you have answered my letter, what you in short have renewed the engagement then? Would I, was all her answer, but the accent was decisive enough. Good God, he cried, you would. It is not that I did not think of it, or desire it, as what could alone crown all my other success, but I was proud, too proud to ask again.  This is a recollection which ought to make me forgive everyone sooner than myself. Six years of separation and suffering might have been spared. It is a sort of pain, too, which is new to me. I have been used to the gratification of believing myself to earn every blessing that I enjoyed. I have valued myself on honorable toils and just rewards. Like other great men under reverses, he added with a smile, I must endeavour to subdue my mind to my fortune. I must learn to brook being happier than I deserve. CHAPTER XXIV Who can be in doubt of what followed? When any two young people take it into their heads to marry, they are pretty sure, by perseverance, to carry their point, be they ever so poor, or ever so imprudent, or ever so little likely to be necessary to each other's ultimate comfort. This may be bad morality to conclude with, but I believe it to be the truth. And if such parties succeed, how should a captain went worth and an Anne Elliot, with the advantage of maturity of mind, consciousness of right, and one independent fortune between them, fail of bearing down every opposition? They might, in fact, have borne down a great deal more than they met with, for there was little to distress them beyond the want of graciousness and warmth. Sir Walter made no objection, and Elizabeth did nothing worse than look cold and unconcerned. Captain Wentworth, with five and twenty thousand pounds, and as high in his profession as merit and activity could place him, was no longer nobody. He was now esteemed quite worthy to address the daughter of a foolish, spend-thrift baronette who had not the principle or sense enough to maintain himself in the situation in which providence had placed him, and who could give his daughter at present but a small part of the share of ten thousand pounds, which must be hers hereafter. Sir Walter indeed, though he had no affection for Anne and no vanity flattered to make him really happy on the occasion, was very far from thinking it a bad match for her. On the contrary, when he saw more of Captain Wentworth, saw him repeatedly by daylight, and eyed him well, he was very much struck by his personal claims, and felt that his superiority of appearance might be not unfairly balanced against her superiority of rank, and all this, assisted by his well-sounding name, enabled Sir Walter at last to prepare his pen with a very good grace for the insertion of the marriage in the volume of honour. The only one among them whose opposition of feeling could excite any serious anxiety was Lady Russell. Anne knew that Lady Russell must be suffering some pain in understanding and relinquishing Mr. Elliot, and be making some struggles to become truly acquainted with, and do justice to Captain Wentworth. This however was what Lady Russell had now to do. She must learn to feel that she had been mistaken with regard to both, that she had been unfairly influenced by appearances in each. That because Captain Wentworth's manners had not suited her own ideas, she had been too quick in suspecting them to indicate a character of dangerous impetuosity, and that because Mr. Elliot's manners had precisely pleased her in their propriety and correctness, their general politeness and suavity, she had been too quick in receiving them as the certain results of the most correct opinions and well-regulated mind. There was nothing less for Lady Russell to do than to admit that she had been pretty completely wrong, and to take up a new set of opinions and of hopes. There is a quickness of perception in some, a nicety in the discernment of character, a natural penetration, in short, which no experience in others can equal, and Lady Russell had been less gifted in this part of understanding than her young friend. But she was a very good woman, and if her second object was to be sensible and well-judging, her first was to see Anne happy. She loved Anne better than she loved her own abilities, and when the awkwardness of the beginning was over, found little hardship in attaching herself as a mother to the man who was securing the happiness of her other child. Of all the family, Mary was probably the one most immediately gratified by the circumstance. It was creditable to have a sister married, and she might flatter herself with having been greatly instrumental to the connection, by keeping Anne with her in the autumn, and as her own sister must be better than her husband's sisters, it was very agreeable that Captain Wentworth should be a richer man than either Captain Benwick or Charles Hater. She had something to suffer, perhaps, when they came into contact again, in seeing Anne restored to the rites of seniority, and the mistress of a very pretty land outlet, but she had a future to look forward to of powerful consolation. Anne had no upper-cross hall before her. No land at a state, no headship of a family, and if they could but keep Captain Wentworth from being made a baronet, she would not change situations with Anne. It would be well for the eldest sister if she were equally satisfied with her situation, for a change is not very probable there. She had soon the mortification of seeing Mr. Elliot withdraw, and no one of proper condition has since presented himself to raise even the unfounded hopes which sunk with him. The news of his cousin Anne's engagement burst on Mr. Elliot most unexpectedly. It deranged his best plan of domestic happiness, his best hope of keeping Sir Walter single by the watchfulness which a son-in-law's rights could have given. But though discomforted and disappointed, he could still do something for his own interest and his own enjoyment. The soon quitted bath, and on Mrs. Clay is quitting it soon afterwards, and being next heard of as established under his protection in London, it was evident how double a game he had been playing, and how determined he was to save himself from being cut out by one artful woman at least. Mrs. Clay's affections had overpowered her interest, and she had sacrificed, for the young man's sake, the possibility of scheming longer for Sir Walter. She has abilities, however, as well as affections, and it is now a doubtful point whether his cunning or hers may finally carry the day. Whether after preventing her from being the wife of Sir Walter, he may not be wedled and caressed at last into making her the wife of Sir William. It cannot be doubted that Sir Walter and Elizabeth were shocked and mortified by the loss of their companion, and the discovery of their deception in her. They had their great cousins, to be sure, to resort to for comfort, but they must long feel that to flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment. Anne, satisfied at a very early period of Lady Russell's meaning to love Captain Wentworth as she ought, had no other alloy to the happiness of her prospects than what arose from the consciousness of having no relations to bestow on him which a man of sense could value. There she felt her own inferiority very keenly. The disproportion in their fortune was nothing. It did not give her a moment's regret, but to have no family to receive and estimate him properly. Nothing of respectability, of harmony, of goodwill to offer in return for all the worth and all the prompt welcome which met her in his brothers and sisters, was a source of as lively pain as her mind could well be sensible of under circumstances of otherwise strong felicity. She had but two friends in the world to add to his list, Lady Russell and Mrs. Smith. To those, however, he was very well disposed to attach himself. Lady Russell, in spite of all her former transgressions, he could now value from his heart. While he was not obliged to say that he believed her to have been right in originally dividing them, he was ready to say almost everything else in her favour, and as for Mrs. Smith, she had claims of various kinds to recommend her quickly and permanently. Her recent good offices by Anne had been enough in themselves, and their marriage, instead of depriving her of one friend, secured her too. He was their earliest visitor in their settled life, and Captain Wentworth, by putting her in the way of recovering her husband's property in the West Indies, by writing for her, acting for her, and seeing her through all the petty difficulties of the case, with the activity and exertion of a fearless man and a determined friend, fully requited the services which she had rendered or ever meant to render to his wife. Mrs. Smith's enjoyments were not spoiled by this improvement of income, with some improvement of health, and the acquisition of such friends to be often with, for her cheerfulness and mental alacrity did not fail her. And while these prime supplies of good remained, she might have bid defiance even to greater accessions of worldly prosperity. She might have been absolutely rich and perfectly healthy, and yet be happy. Her spring of felicity was in the glow of her spirits, as her friend Anne's was in the warmth of her heart. Anne was tenderness itself, and she had the full worth of it in Captain Wentworth's affection. His profession was all that could ever make her friends wish that tenderness less, the dread of a future war all that could dim her sunshine. She gloried in being a sailor's wife, but she must pay the tax of quick alarm for belonging to that profession which is, if possible, more distinguished in its domestic virtues than in its national importance. End of chapter twenty-four read by Kara Schellenberg on March first two-thousand seven in Oceanside, California, and The End of Persuasion by Jane Austen. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain.


He gets excited. He opens the gate. He rushes in and you take the halter off and he runs. We want now that I'm done working with Creek I need to turn him out and I want to do it in such a way that he's calm and he doesn't get excited. Sometimes in the morning if he's in at night sometimes the feeders will take him out and he can kind of run off and so I want to see if we can work on this a little bit. I don't want this to become a build-up, a place of anxiety where he comes to the gate. He gets excited. He opens the gate. He rushes in and you take the halter off and he runs. We want to try to avoid, avoid that. Now if I just got him good with brushing at the gate almost like acting like I'm not turning him out but I'm just going to work with him here on the grass. You can see he wants to eat. He could use a little work with that but I might just brush a little bit and then maybe I get a little closer to the gate but instead of just opening it right up and going in maybe I hang outside of it for a little bit. See if we can brush a little. Now he's obviously looking at it and he's looking at his buddies who are off into the distance a little bit but I might just brush a little and then instead of going right in turn and maybe we walk away. In fact it'd be pretty interesting to just show him say hey here's a gate. Would you like to go in there and send him in have him turn around and then maybe I ask him to come right back, right back out again. So maybe I do a little a little ground work on my way to his paddock, turn, halt. See if we can get that a little easier. Good and try to keep him nice nice and relaxed with me. Now when I open the gate the way that this gate's orientated I'll stand on his offside on the right and it's great because he's sort of waiting and then I'll ask him to come in turn and we could come right back out. His other his other horse friends are further out in the field so that would work out great. So you could go in and out a few times. We could come in I guess I'll go out one more time because he got a little excited there. Wait we could wait out here come on in and send him through. You could do a little a little ground work in the paddock. If there's other horses nearby shoot the other horses away so you clear yourself a space a nice spot to work. But he's expecting to be turned loose and I'm not going to do that. We're just going to come right back out and I could even close the gate. Now I've made whole lessons of this where I'm able to work on ground work. I'm able to take the horse to the arena or wherever I'm going but then bring him back to the paddock to some ground work along the way and pretty soon they're not going to be anxious anymore because it's just another spot to work just like the ring would be or just like the arena or field or wherever you're going. Now he's getting to the point where he's fairly calm about it so we'll open up that gate we'll have him wait I'll ask him in turn now for a lot of horses that rush off you could reach up and you could put the lead rope around their neck. You remember when we worked in the ring with having them lower their head we could ask them to drop their head down I could always take them back out but he feels pretty good he's fairly calm but now when I drop the halter what I might do I might tip his nose towards me this is a little tip that a lot of people miss and that they don't do but tip them to you a little bit because they'll stay relaxed but as I drop the halter I still have the lead around his neck then I might tip his nose towards me a little bit more I'll slip that rope back keep my hand on the bridge of the nose and I'll turn and walk away and keep my posture low and I'm going to leave and I love that he stays with me you probably don't believe me that he's a horse that runs away but he does and good and now he sees his friends and I'll just sort of casually close the gate watch your nose there buddy close that gate and I I love that he stays there with me he's still focused that's excellent that's an excellent result now if I can only get that for the feeders and for everybody else that turns


Hi everyone, in today's tutorial I'm going to be showing you how I can go from a static program such as this one to an animated processing program using just integer division and modulo. So I've already laid the groundwork here where I've put in all the primitive shapes. If you want to pause the video and have a look for yourself, feel free but it's not something I'm going to be covering with how I drew this ninja person here. The background is sky blue, I'm drawing some rectangles for the face, the body, the legs, and then I've got this banner here which is made up of one long rectangle here and then the first part of the banner and then the banner end and that's what we're going to be animating as you may have seen before. I've also set the size it's 400 by 400 so we're just going to start with the foundation like that. Okay so the first thing we're going to do is we're going to think about how can we animate this program. Well the first thing we're going to do is we're going to have to count how many frames we're up to so if you didn't know processing works at 24 frames per second as a default and we're going to be working with that so if I just say I'm going to call it counter, count int counter equals zero and so every single frame I want update counter to be one higher so I'm going to say counter plus plus up down here so every single frame we're going to have counter is zero then one then two then three and we're going to be using this to figure out at what stage of the animation we want our program to look like. We also want it to cycle through this animation so we don't want it to infinitely grow on forever so if we were to you know start at zero and only add we're going to end up with some very big number after just a few seconds so what we're going to do is we're going to cycle this by using counter equals counter mod and then how many frames so I'm going to go 96 for now so 96 is four seconds so 24 frames per second 96 divided by 24 is four so every four seconds we're going to repeat our animation this means that we're going to have frames zero all the way to 95 because when it hits 96 it's going to be zero again the next stage here is to figure out how what sections do we need so I'm aiming for like a three step animation where first the head and the body moves down so here's my little figure here just so you can visualize what I'm doing so first I want this head part to move down the screen along with the body and then I want you know the first part of the banner to move down and then third part of the banner to move down so it kind of has this swishy wave effect okay so to do that I'm just undo my little scribbles to demonstrate I'm going to need to set up some other variables and these are just going to track how much of a bounce should each of these sections have so for that I'm going to have an int called bounce and this is just going to control the main bounce of the body and I'm going to set that as default for zero I'm also going to have another bounce it's going to be slightly more delayed than this bounce just to control that middle section of the the swishy banner so I'm going to say int I know it's messy naming scheme but it does help me understand what I'm doing so I'm going to say first delay bounce um you can't have longer variables like this if it does help you understand it um just the seg tutorials so I can talk about it might be a bit more helpful I'll also make that zero and I'm going to need a last um variable to control just the end of that banner so if I just draw this banner again if you imagine our little character wearing the banner um I'm going to have a second section and then the third section here so this is also a second section and that's also third section so this is the original bounce I'll just put bounce this is the second uh the first bounce and this section up here is the second bounce sorry for the messy handwriting okay so let me just add another variable second delay bounce okay so we've got a system where we have a counter that goes from zero to ninety six now what we want to do is transform that so that each frame will trigger a different section of this animation and that might sound a bit confusing but let me explain so if I have the regular bounce so remember this is zero by default um we're just going to override it so uh bounce equals counter divided by 32 all right so let's think about this counter starts at zero and when you say zero divided by 32 an integer arithmetic it's just going to equal zero in fact even if we have counter at one counter at two all the way up to 31 30 divided by 32 it's still going to equal zero so we can think about frame one uh frames one through 31 including 31 um are going to leave us with zero as our answer here for bounce then if we increase to 32 it's going to actually equal one so 32 divided by 32 will give us one and then 33 divided by 32 is going to equal one as well so all the way from frame 32 onwards to 63 we're going to end up with a um an answer here of one then we can do it again and we're going to realize that if we go all the way up to 95 which is the last thing that counter can be before it hits 96 and turns into a zero again the last thing we're going to get is two so the three things that our frames can give us as a result for bounce is zero one and two now this is excellent for us because that's three frames counting from zero we got you know um a static frame where it's the original image we got one movement that's slightly lower and then one movement that's slightly lower again so we're actually going to do this for all three of the bounces so um not bounce but first delay bounce is going to equal also counter divided by 32 and the second delay bounce is going to do the same okay now this is fine all this is going to do is just make these variables equal zero one and two depending on what counter is and what we want to do with these variables is we want to increase the y value so it dips down it's at um different times of the program so I'm going to add in when I want each part to move so the head I want to move with the bounce variable so I'm going to say rect um in the the head so um we've got the x coordinate here we've got the y coordinate here so I'm going to say the y coordinate plus bounce so what I what else do I want to move with the head I also want to move the body so take the y coordinate and I add bounce to it um I want the legs to say the same the eye is going to move with the head I don't want that staying static that might look a bit weird so bounce um and then the last thing I want to move with the head is the top of the banner just this this rectangle part here probably a bit hard to see with my drawing software without the color but bear with me it will make sense so if we add the bounce here let's just have a have a quick look to see what happens to that program it's very difficult to see but we're seeing like one frame drop at a time just that body section and it's dropping zero frames then one sorry not frames it's dropping one pixel then two pixels and then back to zero pixels again so it's kind of rotating between um you know bouncing down twice and then back up to its original stage and we want all of those to look like that so um let's do that for our first delay bounce and second delay bounce as well and I'm just going to copy this to save some time so things I want to move with that first delay bounce is just the um upper middle part of the tail here and this lower middle part of the tail which I've labeled here so I'm just going to add that to the whack coordinate and press play and test it out yep so now this part is now moving and then let's add in our second delay bounce and I'm just going to copy that and I'm only going to change the tail part because I want to switch together okay so our variables are all contributing to making this animation move however we are not moving in the way that we want it to and to do that we want things to move um at different paces actually before I do that I just might make it a bit more noticeable so it's easier for the camera to pick up um what I'm going to do is I'm going to amplify these these variables to be something bigger so it's more noticeable um that's just going to be as simple as um the variable name so I'll make this the first one so first delay bounce I'm going to multiply that by five so that when the when the result of counter divided by 32 is zero we still get zero which is fine when it's one we get five and when it's two we get 10 so instead of zero one two we're going to get zero five ten and that's going to be a bit more noticeable so I'm going to do that down here as well and I'll show you what that looks like in a second see these um these movements are much bigger chunks here now and that's what we that's the kind of effect we want okay so now we want it to move at different times and the way that I think we can achieve that is by taking our counter and just offsetting it slightly um different from our original bounce so if this counter equals um 38 and we say 38 divided by 32 um then the answer we're going to get is one but if I want to say um minus eight so offset it by just eight frames then 38 minus eight so 30 divided by two is going to be zero so it's going to be on a different frame to the rest of them and I will do the same for this one as well um I just want to offset it slightly so that it's going to look like it's on a different um animation step and there we go it looks like it's uh waving in the wind and hopefully that tutorial was uh informative it's just a very different way of applying um animation using integer division um and learning how we can loop things using mod um but hopefully it was enjoyable and gave you a different interesting perspective on how you can use maths and processing thanks