Okay, so the latest update is that the former head of state president Edgar Chagualungu is equally in the cells, he has joined the wife in the cells and he is no longer in the waiting room, he is vowed that he is not going to leave this place until the rule of law that is so much preached about is being practiced. Right now the status is that the president is with the former head lady in the cells and age all his supporters to stand firm as the lawyers are still at post headquarters. Right now there is information that has come through that the police might even detain myself but I'm not bothered because look they kept me in Chimbokaila for 8 days, they kept me in Longhekar cells for a day. So if today again they decide to have me arrested there is no harm but I mean this country is a population of about 19 million people and the police are only about 40-50 thousand people. I think let's not make Zambia a police state. Let's not make Zambia a police state. Let the government do the right thing. If they want one of us to die along the way it's going to happen but this has become unbecoming, let the government do the right thing. If they arrest me for being here so be it. Some independent members of parliament, PF members of parliament that have been to rallies of the UPMD in Chitilawomu sympathizing with the UPMD. Why should it be a crime for me to sympathize with people that have built a relationship with over the years. So I'm waiting, should they arrest me, I'm here unlike them putting everyone in harm's way. I do not know how many more people they intend to arrest but that's a state of affairs. Women, come. Hi, have you even had anything to eat? No we haven't. President Khaboi, tell us what's the status of the former first lady in the cells and what do you make of what has happened here today. Our first and foremost we have not been allowed to see her but I think the former president has seen her. But in terms of everybody else who has come to see her they are really denying. And all these hours even President Blung was not allowed to see the wife. They have all these things whereby they are saying that they are waiting for instructions. From the local things also, instructions have been given to the point whereby she is supposed to sleep inside, she is not coming out. And our worry, no wonder we have seen that we are standing here as women. There are women from PAFIA, from SPNDC, various Scottish Papachis. We are wired as women because what we are seeing now we have never seen it before. Every time even presidents have been arrested in the past be it kawunda whoever. You see the president being arrested, not the wife. But kawunda never spent even one day in the cells. But here we are seeing a first lady all the time being followed. Madam Esther Lungu has never been political. She has never.  But for her she has always stayed away from politics. So to be going for such women that have strictly been first ladies in this country it's a very sad. And I'll say something because you the media have been following that up. If you look at Mrs. Ichilema for example another person who is not political yes but we have seen but allegations of those minds and everything her name has been mentioned twice in the media you get the point. So if you have a vengeful government after this one more vengeful than they are or even just at their level also should be followed and also something can be done you know even given an available case. But as politicians we should know where our fight should be directed to. Direct your fight to the politicians and not to the families. And with the UPND I think I've been consistent. As NGC and Savoia have been saying the UPND don't respect women. That's a message I've said several times in the media you know and we have seen right now in the arrest of women. Onariboka Tuta and they say she's in court right now. President Mawakwi and two time another woman had to come out on that. I'll say the truth. I'm in court right now. All sorts of minor allegations towards women and now the former first lady is here. Something that we've never ever seen before. So for me I appeal to President Mawakwi because he knows he touches her he's going to touch the heart of the president.  When you kill his cows that's when he's going to get head. That's when he'll get head.  If you don't do that stick to the politics you know. Anyway there are many people here so let me allow other people to talk but just as I did here. Thank you. So maybe I can also say something. As a member of the Central Committee for the patriotic front and the woman what we are seeing, what we are witnessing is very very devastating to the female politicians. Not just the female politicians but also the people who have husbands who are politically active. The president, former president Lungu was denied entry to go and visit his wife. That is something that is unacceptable we've never heard of such a thing but now he's going to spend the night here to give solidarity to his wife. I hope they will allow him.  What is so sad is that you are taking a domestic crime and turning it into a state activity. Why should the state police become involved in something that has happened outside the state interventions? This is very very sad and we are setting a very bad precedence because the next president who will come may wish to do the same. Is that what we want for the country? This is not about personal fight it's about the national sovereignty and the image that we are building for our country. It is most unfortunate and it should not be allowed. So the people of Zambia are seeing they know what they're going to say about this and I think it's about time that a stop was put to this. We all have to put our heads together and see how we can fight this. This is total injustice. Maid Olivia, what is the socialist party women saying about what has transpired here? Basically I think as a women from the socialist party we are so disappointed because I think from the past presentations have reached a move and it's doing the total opposite. And what is so sad to go for a form of history who is the wife of a politician? It is something that is actually not encouraging for women to join politics. For us politicians it's okay but even then even us we need to be given the eco platform and we need to be given the eco respect that they deserve but what has happened I think in the history of African politics has ever happened and President H.H. you have actually broken the record of the Zambian history where you go and arrest the first lady who never assumed office publicly was not a constitution office she was just the wife. We understand your battle is the former woman's wife really to have that woman and we are being told that they are following instructions can you instruct those men if you want let your fellow man sleep in the cells but not our man she is the former first lady that she is the mother to all of us we feel so sad and where you are President H.H. you felt it when your wife was crying but why are you doing it triple than what you were complaining about so I think to me really it is sad Zambian politics has gone to dogs that's what I can say what do you make of what has happened here today? First of all it's a sad day I must say and happening just a few days when the President was making assurances to the members of the public that people be arrested in the morning and in the afternoon they will be presented to court here we are recording history yes some of us have been available we have been arrested right left and center and we don't mind we have been available to the courts but what is happening today is the negative history in the making for the first time we have got a former first lady being arrested not recognized in our own person as a former first lady we made sure that the assurances were arranged as requested by the police we were only told that a debt stamp debt stamp was forgotten at the police headquarters up to now the debt stamp has not been found the inspector general is not available to talk to our lawyers and so the format of state has made it very clear to all of us and we are going to be with him here until we get clear answers as to why his wife should sleep here on a bondable matter and so we are with him here and if he is going to sleep here we are equally with him because it seems this is a new new way of doing things in the new dawn governance yes we have been warned about people coming for our threats I think we are valuable and if the the debris has started with the first family we are all not going to calm down and run away we are going to stick with the first family until they also come for our next because we have already been warned so in the meantime to just tell the people that the format of state the only available living format of state is here at the Ibex police station and is going to be here until we get answers as to why his wife should sleep here and he goes and sleeps in a bedroom so that's where we are we will be celebrating our freedom and look at this what is happening in Zambia where is the rule of law the rule of law and next month we will be celebrating independence our women they fought for the freedom for the women and now we are here the freedom they fought for us we are suffering we want to be enjoying our freedom but look at this man he is infringing into our freedom we are not happy as women of Zambia because we are mothers this is not right and it is not on we are going to take it on as women of Zambia it's not about quality now we are taking it as women of Zambia and the social media influence what do you make of what has happened here could it mean honestly speaking I'm here in my individual capacity but as when I say individual capacity I mean as a woman we see today as Honorable Kampiongo said it's something so unprecedented that a first lady must be behind bars on available offends really we're not trying to incite any type of violence for the country but as women as we've seen here we're not happy about the situation and honestly I'm making a serious plea to Mama Mutinta Ichilema who has always complained about justice for women this is not how you should act Mama I think that you should rise above it all if your politics are going to have to attest to something like this you should come through and be a woman and stand for a woman because this is very unfair honestly speaking Zambia let's rise up for justice for Mama Esther Chagwalungu today


Okay, four kinds of boundaries we need to keep working on, first of all physical boundaries to do with your rest, your sleep, your exercise, your hygiene, your appearance and so on. Secondly, and this never gets mentioned, your stuff, your possessions.  Thirdly, we need boundaries around our resources of your time, your attention, your energies. And fourthly, we need a boundary around our emotional life so that you are protected from VDPs, very draining people. Emotional vampires, rantas, ventas, drama queens. Let's keep working on our boundaries. If you don't, no one will. Love you guys. Let's keep strong. Cheers.


FIG securities joins us now for a bit of a bond market check and Simon it is all about payrolls now tonight I guess the impact it might have on the Aussie dollar now that we're sitting at 73.9 US cents what are you seeing in the bond markets? Look it's interesting as you say their yields are down and in Australia here they've really collapsed on the back of the interest rate cut earlier this week and also the statement of monetary policy out by the RBA they've adjusted inflation forecasts down so our tenure has now hit an all-time historic low and now two years gone way below the previous historic low about half percent below its peak this year so big collapse in Aussie yields US not so bad they're down around about 10 basis points since the beginning of the week up a little bit overnight I think cautious as you say leading into that data I think still a bit of a weak trend there so it'll be interesting to see if that does come out quite strongly. Could it move the Aussie significantly from here do you think? Look I think the only thing that's going to move the Aussie at this stage is if it looks like the the US resets back on that path of increasing rates I think while they're on a whole path while they're on the delay they're really not giving any help to the RBA or to our dollar at the moment. So looking at that statement of monetary policy today which obviously is what sent the Aussie on its next sort of downward trajectory at 73.8 do you think pricing because pricing's gone crazy now for a rate cut this year? Look has absolutely I mean as I said that two-year rate if you have a look at it was 2.05 maximum a drop down to 1.75 as the market expected a further cut it was actually up about 1.86 when the RBA cut earlier this week now down at 1.55 I mean that's a lot of volatility in that short two-year rate and it just reflects that changing view that the market has around what the RBA is likely to do I think they're a little uncertain at the moment so I think more data needs to come out to get a clear picture. I hope to see a pick up in that inflation read. Simon Michelle appreciate your time as always thank you. Thank you very good. Simon Michelle there from


Hey, this is Brett and this 2019 GMC Sierra 1500 Crew Cab Short Box SLT-X31 is stock number 14087 ZB. I am here at Summit Automotive in Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, near New and used light-duty truck. Headquarters this 2019 GMC Sierra 1500 has the 5.3 liter V8 gas engine. It's paired up with the 8-speed automatic transmission. This truck has been fully-safetyed and inspected by our service shop per the state of Wisconsin inspection process. It has a fresh oil and filter change. All the fluids have been checked and topped off and this truck is 100% ready to go. Super clean all the way around, nicely loaded up, and I'm going to go all the way around in this video. Inside, underneath, started up. Take a look under the hood, show you all the options, just give you the most accurate representation that I can of the vehicle. White frost tricode is the color I shoot all my videos in 4K. If you like the video, subscribe to the YouTube channel, click the bell notifications, get updates on the videos I do each and every day, and that way you'll stay current on our ever-changing and vast inventory of light-duty trucks here at Summit Automotive. This one comes with the 20-inch polished aluminum wheels. They are in fantastic condition and it has Open Country Toyo HT tires. These are 27560R20s. They have a pretty good amount of tread left on them and a frame and underbody is in excellent shape. This is a one-owner clean title history, clean car fax out of Illinois. Front fender is in excellent condition, LED headlamps, LED running lights, and LED fog lamps on there. Front bumper is in excellent condition, didn't see any dents or dings on there, and you do get the front bumper parking sensors, which are a very nice feature to have. You get the chrome-trimmed grille, the GMC lettering looks really good, and the hood is in excellent condition as well, no major dents or dings on there. Passengers' side front fender is in great shape, and the passengers' side front wheel, no major scuffs or scrapes on there, that is in excellent condition as well. Now white frost tricote has just a little bit of metal flake to it, there we go, has some blues, some pearl in there, really a cool color, especially in the sunlight. As you go down this side of this 2019 GMC Sierra, take note of how clean that body is, how reflective and mirror-like that paint is. I take these HD videos, so if you're far away or even if you're close by and you just cannot make the trip down, but you're still interested in purchasing the vehicle, you can see the vehicle, hear the vehicle, and have confidence in what you're looking at before you even get here, so when you do get here there's absolutely no surprises, or if you get the truck shipped to you, you'll know exactly what you're going to be getting, or if you just want to make the trip down and have the confidence that it's going to be nice. Let your salesmen know if this video helped you do any of those things, back wheels in excellent shape, no major scuffs or scrapes on there, and the back tires have just as much tread as the front tires. Felt wheel well liners and the frame and underbody, other than being a little dusty, is in really nice condition, looks really good. Lower rockers and cab corners are in great shape, and you get the wheel-to-wheel side steps, so you can get into the bed of the truck, and those are in nice condition as well. Passenger side box, I didn't see any dents or dings on there. You do get the LED tail lamps, the rear bumpers in great shape, you get the dual rear exhaust, the back of parking sensors, the rear bumper steps, the towing package with the receiver hitch four pin and seven pin wiring. You get the multi-pro tailgate, show you how that works here, just a second, and you get a gator truck bed protection tonneau cover. I believe that's a fold-up tonneau cover, so to get this gate down you just press that button, and it'll come on down like so. So this does have the original springs and shocks that came with the Z71 or X31 package. The original owner replaced the shocks with different ones, but these shocks do come with the trucks, so they are part of the deal. They will be in the bed of the truck when you come to take a look at it or purchase it. Bed's in really nice shape, very nice spraying bed liner. There's your handle for that step assist. You also get 120, it's a 120 volt, let's turn it right down here, 120 volt 400 watt plug-in, and the bed's in really nice shape. So this tailgate, you can see it goes down just like that normally, and then this other piece drops down like so for the step assist, and then it can go back up, and it goes like that. Or you can just put this top piece down, and then if you're hauling lumber or something you can have it sticking out of the truck and angled up so it's not going to fly out of the vehicle. So that's all that comes with that multi-pro tailgate. Coming around to the driver's side, just as clean as that passenger side, no major dents or dings on the box. And for full disclosure, this back wheel is in fantastic condition as well, no scuffs or scrapes. All the wheels look really good on this truck. You get the capitalist fuel fill, you also have a nice clean cab and doors on the driver's side. It's like that all the way down. No major dents or dings on there, it does come with the heated power mirrors, blind spot monitoring, built-in LED lights on the back, and the chrome trim on the backing. Take a quick look at the back seats.  These headrests do fold down for better visibility when nobody's riding back here, and you get storage areas behind the driver and passenger back seats there. These seats do fold up like so. There's some of your jack tools, and then factory floor mats, carpeting is in very nice clean condition back here. You also get heated seat buttons for the outboard side, USB, USB-C and a 12 volt power point back here. Once again, these seats are in excellent condition, no rips or tears on them. You get child safety locks on the back doors and the inside and bottoms of the doors all look fantastic on this truck. Here is the VIN sticker, no previously owned Canada trucks here, and then the tire and loading information stickers right there. And you also have trailering information that GM is nice enough to give you on these trucks. Up front, the SLT package gives you the gray leather bucket seats. Both of these front seats are heated and cooled and power. No rips, no tears on those seats, smells very clean inside this truck. Get factory floor mats up here, auto headlamps, push button four-wheel drive, fog lights, cargo lamps, tow mode, tilt, telescopic steering wheel, power windows locks mirrors, get the nice wood grain trim on the door there. Memory driver seat, and these mirrors do power fold in. I always like showing both sides so that you know that both sides are working properly. And then last but not least, you get the Bose premium sound system. We'll hop inside, check out the miles, the radio, and everything that this truck has to offer on the interior. So it's always tricky to get these odometers to come up. There we go, 42,915 miles on this truck. I did not know that they had this many miles, but really, really nice condition for the miles on this truck. You get a compass display. You can see the instrument cluster is very nice and clean. You get the heated leather wrap steering wheel, Bluetooth and information center controls on the right, cruise controls, forward collision morning controls and heated steering wheel controls on the left, audio controls on the back of the steering wheel. There's your shifter for that eight-speed automatic transmission with the optional tap shift, push button start. This one has the GMC Intel Link radio. So you get AM, FM, and Sirius XM radio capabilities. I'm sorry, this is not the Intel Link, it's the infotainment system. You can see it does have the factory navigation system. There is Highway 41, so that is working nicely. But you get AM, FM, and Sirius XM radio capabilities. You also have Apple CarPlay and Android Auto where you can project your cell phone to the screen. So that's a really nice thing to have as well. And then you can check out your backup camera right there, and it's not wanting me to do it because the truck is parked. So I'll show you that as soon as we get the truck started. But anyways, here are your other apps, Spotify, and users, and then it goes back to the radio.  You also get lane departure warning, parking sensors, that's your start-stop capabilities. You can power drop down that tailgate and put your hazard lights on. Stability control, that is for the plug-in that is in the bed of the truck. Downhill assist control, factory brake controller, USB-C, USB, 12 volt power point, and 120 volt, 150 watt plug-in. You also have the wireless cell phone charge pad here, keyless entry with remote start, and power drop-down tailgate. Passengers side, floor mat, and seat are in excellent condition as well, no rips or tears. Once again, it smells very clean inside this truck, and I don't think it's ever been smoked in. You get the headliner that is in excellent shape, map lights up here, power side and rear window button, home link buttons for your garage door security systems and lighting systems, and on-star and SOS buttons up there as well. Let's start it up, take a look under the hood, check out all those LED lights in the front. It'll be all set to go. Starts right up, no check engine lights or anything like that, and this one actually has the adaptive cruise control. I always want to check that so you can adjust how far behind your vehicle or behind the vehicle in front of you, your vehicle is going to be with that gap adjust. If you have the cruise control on, let me turn the lights on here, and the fog lights, and I wanted to show you the backup camera. You can see that that is working nicely, and you can zoom in on the receiver hitch, you get hooked up to your boat camper trailer the first time, every time. All right, put the parking brake on, on me. There we go. But you can see no check engine lights other than my hood's open. I would personally like to thank you for checking out the video today, and hopefully from this HD video you've been able to verify the quality, condition, options, and of course cleanliness of this truck all the way around. I didn't see a single dent or ding on it. I think it might be one of the cleanest GM half-ton trucks on our lot or that we've ever had. Those LED lights are very bright and working nicely under the hood. We have the 5.3 liter V8 gas engine, engine base very clean runs, very smooth once again. This truck has been fully safety and inspected by our service shop. It has a fresh oil and filter change. All the fluids have been checked and topped off.  Like I said, probably one of the cleanest GMC half-ton trucks we have on our lot or have ever had, and I would highly recommend it from a quality and condition standpoint. I'd ship this one anywhere, California, Texas, New York, back to Illinois. Whoever's going to get this truck is going to absolutely love it. And to see more pictures of this truck or one of our other 550 new and used cars, trucks, SUVs, minivans, Wranglers, half-tons, three-quarter-tons, one-tons, you name it, we've got to go to the website right there, summitauto.com. Full pictures and descriptions of every single vehicle, all at summitauto.com. If you want to check out more HD videos, you can go to youtube.com slash summitauto. Click the bell notifications, get updates on the videos I do each and every day, as well as having access to one of the largest catalogs of vehicle walk-arounds on YouTube. And stay current on our ever-changing and vast inventory, so you don't miss gems like this one coming through our website and our picture studio. In fact, in a second you will see a link to subscribe to my YouTube channel, the upper left, a link to all the GMC Sierra 1500 truck videos I've ever done in the upper right, link to this vehicle on our website, the lower left, and a link to one of our latest YouTube videos on the lower right. Click those, check us out. We're super excited to help you with this Ultra Clean 2019 GMC Sierra 1500 Crew Cab Short Box, SLT-X31, and White Frost Try Coat. Thank you so much for checking out the video. Remember to like, subscribe, and share on the YouTube channel. And have a great day. Thank you so much.


So it is 733 p.m. on Thursday, March 9th, 2023. Good evening, my name is Christian Klein and I am the chair of the Arlington Zoning Board of Appeals. I'm calling this meeting of the board to order. I ask all attendees who are not recognized to speak to please mute their connection until such time as they are recognized by the chair. I would like to confirm that all members and anticipated officials are present. Members of the Zoning Board of Appeals, Roger Dupont. Here. Patrick Hanlon. Here. Daniel Rucadelli. Here. Venkat Holi. Elaine Hoffman. Here. And Adam LeBlanc. Welcome to you all. Joining us on behalf of the town is our zoning assistant, Colleen Ralston. Colleen, good to have you with us. Good evening. And given that the business of the meeting tonight is mostly administrative, with the exception of just continuing the 40B hearing, we don't have anyone else from the town nor do the board have its usual consultants with us this evening. But appearing on behalf of the applicant, we have Paul Feldman. Good evening, everybody. Good evening. This open meeting of the Arlington Zoning Board of Appeals is being conducted remotely, consistent with an act relative to extending certain state of emergency accommodations signed into law on July 16th, 2022. This act includes an extension until March 31st, 2023 of the remote meeting provision of Governor Baker's March 12, 2020 executive order suspending certain provisions of the open meeting law, which suspended the requirement to hold all meetings in a publicly accessible physical location. Public body may continue holding meetings remotely without a quorum of the public body physically present at a meeting location so long as they provide adequate alternative access to remote meeting. Public bodies may meet remotely so long as reasonable public access is afforded so the public can follow along with the deliberations of the meeting. An opportunity for public participation will be provided during the public comment period during each public hearing. For this meeting, the Arlington Zoning Board of Appeals has convened a video conference via the Zoom application with online and telephone access as listed on the agenda posted to the town's website identifying how the public may join. This meeting is being recorded and it will be broadcast by ACMI. Please be aware that attendees are participating by a variety of means. Some attendees are participating by video conference, others are participating by computer audio or by telephone. Accordingly, please be aware that other folks may be able to see you, your screen name or another identifier. Please take care to not share personal information. Anything you broadcast may be captured by the recording. We ask you to please maintain the quorum during the meeting, including displaying an appropriate background. All supporting materials that have been provided members of this body are available on this meeting's agenda or onto the town's website, unless otherwise noted. The public is encouraged to follow along using the posted agenda. And as chair, I reserve the rights to take items out of order in the interest of promoting an orderly meeting. So by the agenda posted to the town's website, we have four items tonight. We have just concluded item number one. I am going to defer items two and three, which are the other two administrative items to the end of the hearing. So we can move ahead with item number four, which is docket 3719-1021-1025 Massachusetts Avenue. Turning to the comprehensive permit hearing for the residents of the Millbrook. This evening, the board is continuing the comprehensive permit hearing for the residents of the Millbrook, the redevelopment of an existing site in the neighborhood office B1 district. The submitted documents are available on the board's website or as an attachment to the posted agenda. At the January hearings, the board heard testimony regarding what landed stormwater plans to the property, traffic and transportation issues and architectural considerations. At the February hearings, the board heard testimony regarding landscape plans, revisions to the civil plans, revisions to the architectural plans and the presentation of the construction management plan. Tonight Matthew Maggiore, president of the Maggiore companies and Christopher Mulherne principal at Harrison Mulherne Architects are unable to attend this meeting. They have notified the board that they will not be presenting any new testimony this evening, but will be requesting a continuance to our next scheduled meeting date for this project. And at this point, I recognize attorney Paul Feldman from Davis Mall in DeOxene. Good evening. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Yeah, we had several of our consultants and Matt Maggiore himself that are both, that are able to turn out to be out of town tonight. We request that the board continue this public hearing until your next scheduled meeting for this matter, which I understand to be March 23rd. March 23rd at 7.30 PM. Are there any questions for the board? Being none. I'm sorry, Mr. Chairman. I couldn't get to my microphone in time. Mr. Chairman. You know, I realized that this applicant has been very responsive and cooperative. And so I understand that, you know, everyone would like to get this done as quickly as possible. And I think that we've been moving in that direction on all fronts. I would like though to be clear that I would like to see whatever this two week hiatus is that we're taking, I'd like to see that tacked on so that we have an agreement that we're extending our full complement of days for the additional two weeks that we're not having now. So, you know, it's understandable that the applicant wants to get this done as quickly as possible. And I'm all for that. But I do think that we should have the requisite number of days available to us. So I'd like to just ask that we have an agreement that we're extending for the additional two weeks that we're taking out now. Mr. Feldman, do you have an objection to that? Absolutely no objection. By March 23rd meeting, we will have had our first meeting with the Conservation Commission under the Weapons Protection Act which is currently scheduled for March 16th. We're gonna have an idea of their schedule. I've committed to this board and to the CONCOM that we would extend the Comprehensive Permit Proceedings so as to give the Conservation Commission adequate time to consider our application of the Weapons Protection Act so that before this matter is closed, there can be coordination between the issuance of an order of conditions under both the Comprehensive Permit Local By-law and the Weapons Protection Act. So I have a feeling we were gonna be tacking on some time anyway because of that process, but I'm perfectly happy to commit to the board tonight the two weeks that we've just been requested. My question is not a copy to me, but we would have. Thank you very much, Mr. Feldman. It's Johnny down on the motion. The two weeks from April 16th brings us to April 30th. So then I would move to extend the public hearing period for the hearings on 10, 21, 10, 25 Massachusetts Avenue to April 30th, 2023. The second? Second. Thank you, Mr. Hanlon. So basically what this does is this, the public comment period is the 180 day period from the opening of the hearing until when the hearing has to close. This is a vote to extend that by 14 days, which brings us to April 30th. So with that, a vote of the board, Mr. DuPont. Aye. Mr. Hanlon. Aye. Mr. Rickidelli. Aye. Ms. Hoffman. Aye. Mr. Holley. Aye. And the chair votes aye. We are extended on the public hearing. Mr. Chairman. Yes, sir. I wonder if Mr. Lubanc has already sufficiently sworn in that he might be included in this? I've been debating this because unfortunately he can't join us on the voting on this matter. So I'm going to leave him off, but I will fully include him in any vote I can at the end of this meeting. Okay. I want to get his feet wet. This voting was the most fun part. So with that, I'll return to the other motion on this matter, which would be, I move to continue the public hearing for the residences at Millbrook until Thursday, March 23rd, 2023 at 7.30 p.m. Thank you, Mr. Hanlon. So this is a vote to continue this hearing two weeks from tonight on March 23rd. So vote of the board, Mr. DuPont. Aye. Mr. Hanlon. Aye. Mr. Riccadelli. Aye. Ms. Hoffman. Aye. Mr. Holley. Aye. The chair votes aye. We are continued on the residences at Millbrook until Thursday, March 23rd, 2023 at 7.30 p.m. Thank you all very much. Thank you so much for coming with us. See you in two weeks. Yep. Good night. Okay, so with that, I will return back to the administrative items. So these items relate to the operation of the board and as such are generally conducted without input from the general public. The board will not take up any new business on prior hearings nor will there be the introduction of any new information on matters previously brought before the board. So that brings us to item two on our agenda, which is members vote, the approval of the decision for 75 Dothan Street. So this was a hearing that we heard and decided on February 28th. A decision was written up by Mr. Hanlon, presented to the board for their questions and comments and then a final draft issued this afternoon. There was one additional change, which was just in the first line of the summary changing in to on in that first line. Are there any additional comments in regards to the draft decision for 75 Dothan Street? Seeing none, may I have a motion? Mr. Chairman. Mr. Hanlon. I move that the opinion that was presented to the board earlier in 75 Dothan Street with the amendment that the chair has just described be approved. Second. Thank Mr. DuPont. So this is a vote to approve the written decision for 75 Dothan Street with the single change. Mr. DuPont. I. Mr. Hanlon. I. Ms. Hoffman. I. Mr. Rickidelli. I. And the chair votes aye. That is approved. That brings us to item three on the agenda. Members vote approval of the decision for 20 Hobbs Court. So similarly, this was a case that we heard on the 28th of February. I wrote the decision, distributed it to the board, printed it in its final format today. And Mr. Hanlon caught that I had referred to the applicant as my Haynes in one location as opposed to Mr. Haynes. So we will make that a change. Are there any other questions or comments as they relate to the decision for 20 Hobbs Court? Seeing none, may I have a motion? Mr. Chairman. Mr. Hanlon. I move that the application for 20 Hobbs Court be approved. Excuse me, the opinion for the application be approved with the amendments that the chair has just indicated. Second. Thank you, Mr. Hanlon and DuPont. So the vote on the decision for 20 Hobbs Court with a single edit. Mr. DuPont. I. Mr. Hanlon. I. Ms. Hoffman. I. Mr. Riccadelli. I. Chair votes, aye. That is approved. So that is the end of our regular business for this evening. We do have, I wanted to, I'd introduce him briefly, but we have with us, Adam LeBlanc, who is the new associate member of the zoning board of appeals as of Monday. And so he is working with the town clerk, getting sworn in and doing all the fun things we need to do when we go on a board in town and we'll be with us going forward. So we're very glad to have him with us. And we'll give you the full introduction at our next hearing. So we have coming up on our calendar. So the next hearing date is March 23rd, which is again a comprehensive permit hearing for 1021, 1025 Mass Ave. Then Tuesday, March 28th at 730, we have our regular, the regularly scheduled hearing. There are five items on that agenda. One of them is the continuance of 212 Pleasant Street. One of them is the continuance of 178 Forest, is my understanding at this time that the applicant has decided against pursuing a special permit and has filed a building permit for as-right development. And so I have asked them to appear at the hearing to specifically request that they withdraw their application so that there's no question among the public as to what exactly is going on in regards to that case. So we'll be doing that. Then after that Thursday, April 6th at 730 would be the comprehensive permit hearing continuation for 1021, 1025 Mass Ave. Obviously that is after March 31st. So all bets are off as to what format we're in. The law allowing us to continue remotely will have expired. So unless the state acts to extend it, we will be either in-person or hybrid and we can discuss that offline as to which format we should take up. We can certainly hopefully by March 28th we have an idea as to what the state is gonna do. But I think the last two times they voted on it the day after it expired. So I'm not holding my breath on that. Then after that, April 11th, Tuesday, April 11th we do have a regular rescheduled meeting and we have hearings that evening. And then beyond that we go forward. I did see today that the Housing Corporation of Arlington is pulling together their final paperwork on applying for a comprehensive permit for 10 Sunnyside in East Arlington. So I anticipate that will be filed before too long. And then the only other piece is once we have closed the public hearing on 1021, 1025 Mass Ave we do need to schedule meetings to discuss the decision because those involve a quorum of the board. They do have to be public meetings but we cannot take any testimony. They will be closed meetings but the public may join and observe but they cannot participate. And hopefully those will not go on for too long. We have 40 days from the time we close the hearing so we can schedule those as we need. Mr. Chairman. Mr. Hanlon. In the previous times, our advisor Mr. Hoverty has drafted a decision for us to consider and for the public consider before we actually close the hearing. And I wonder if he's planning to do that again. It's helpful of course because it allows us to focus on the conditions at least the ones that we can focus on. We can't really focus on the model at a point when we still have the ability to hear from the public and from the applicant about their acceptability. I did request that from him a couple of hearings ago and I appreciate the reminder because I haven't seen anything yet. So I will follow back up with Mr. Hoverty on that one and try to get that moving. And then I need to, I just need to pull together some other information on the conditions that had been mentioned as we had gone through the hearing process. But since the hearings close, I don't want to get too deep into that. Mr. Chairman. Mr. Hanlon. Just to say again, one of the issues that has been sort of lurking in this case since the very beginning has to do with the historical status of one of the two houses, I think it's 1025. And the question I have is, it seems to me at this point, we got to at least once we figure out what the situation is, we got to at least hear it in the public hearing so that public can understand what the situation is and we can get clear on what I gather is a somewhat uncertain background. So I think that that part of, I have no idea where that's going or what to say about it is, but it shouldn't be, it should be ultimately dealt with in the public hearing before we go into deliberations. Okay, to that end, I'll speak with Town Council and see if he can appear at the next hearing. And hopefully by then, we'll have a little bit better sense as to what the current status of that property is. Are there any further questions on our upcoming schedule? Seeing none. Hi, thank you all for your participation in tonight's meeting of the Arlington Zoning Board of Appeals. I appreciate everyone's patience throughout the meeting. I would especially like to thank Colleen Ralston, Vincent Lee and Marissa Lau for all their assistance in preparing for and hosting this online meeting. Please note the purpose of the board's recording, the meeting is to ensure the creation of an accurate record of its proceedings. It is our understanding that recording made by ACMI will be available on demand at ACMI.tv within the coming days. If anyone has comments or recommendations, please send them via email to zbaatown.arlington.ma.us. That email address is also listed on the Zoning Board of Appeals website. And to conclude tonight's meeting, I would ask for a motion to adjourn. Mr. Mohr had something he wanted to say. Indeed, if I could just get a second to Mr. DuPont. Thank you. Mr. Mohr. I'm sorry, I appreciate you very much for the closing. One quick question. What, I'm wondering what you believe the way ahead is for the Thorndike Place project at this point? Ah, so Thorndike Place, as my, as I understand it, there is a one, the applicant appeal is still before the state. I believe it's in Superior Court. I can't remember if it goes to Superior Court or Land Court, but it's in one of those two, and that is proceeding. But the applicant is seeking a buyer for, so it's Oak Tree Development, we believe is seeking a buyer for their share of the property. And I have not heard anything other than that. So the, if the property was to be sold, my understanding is that the decision stays with the property, so it would be in effect. But at this point, without speaking further to council or having any sort of definitive bill of sale, I have no idea what's going on over there. Thank you, Mr. Chair, does that, does that basically mean from your perspective, and I know you're not, that the decision rendered by the court would go with the property, and if the court decides to uphold whatever the appeal is, and I'm not ready for any of that. No. That it could undo all of the agreements that the Oak Mount, whatever you said, what Oak have made with this board and the town so far? So the decision that the board reached the applicant, the neighbors who filed the abutter appeal, they had very specific objections to it. And though, so depending on what superior court does to amend the decision that the board makes or upholds the decision the board makes, that should remain in effect is my understanding. The issue would be if the property is sold and the new owners want to do something different, that they would either file to reopen the hearing or they would file a new comprehensive permit application and we would start all over. But I have no idea what, who it would be or what their intent would be. Mr. Hanlon. I think that there are lots of legal ways of kind of going at this. I would expect that if there was a desire on the part of the applicant, whether it's the current owners of the property or somebody who succeeds to them, if they want to change anything, at this point they've already dismissed their appeal before the housing and appeals committee. And so they would probably come to us to seek to amend the comprehensive permit. That would be sort of the usual path for doing a thing like that. That would open up a whole new proceeding. Although as far as I know, we have no reason to believe that that would be the case. If the court were to uphold the butters appeal, it would send a, it would give a mandate and it would have some grounds for doing that. It would be anyone or a multitude of the specific objections that were made. At that point, typically what would happen is that they would send the matter back to the board to revise its opinion in the light of the court's opinion. At that point, I think we'd have to discuss what council was to what the exact procedure is for us to do that, but that's probably what would happen. And that part hasn't changed because of any prospective sale if it takes place. That's what would have happened anyway if the court agreed with the butters. Okay, that's very helpful, Mr. Chairman. I appreciate that. I just, I know that the approach that the owners took to what they wanted to build changed at least three separate times that I remember and ended up with a kind of specific use, kind of a, yeah, a specific use. And I just would hate to have all that somehow undone by this last minute change. But that's an inexpert opinion on my part. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. Thank you, Mr. Moore. With that, I think we are ready to adjourn. So we have the motion before us to do so. Vote of the board, Mr. Dupont. Aye. Mr. Hanlon. Aye. Ms. Hoppen. Aye. Mr. Holley. Aye. Mr. LeBlanc. Aye. Mr. Riccadelli. Aye. And the chair votes aye. We are adjourned. Good night, everybody. Good night. Good night, everybody. Gleam the week.


Okay, Svanpanim, look it up. Today we are going to discuss what else? Sex on a Saturday morning. So, my name is Samvatnin, I'm the author of Malignant Self-Lab, Complete Desentance, Narcissism Revisited, and I'm a professor of psychology and a variety of universities in many, many countries, all of them touched by Covid. But it's not my fault, I swear it wasn't me. Okay, so today we are going to discuss auto eroticism, exhibitionism, submissiveness in sex, especially BDSM, and what's the difference between submission in BDSM and self-trashing, which is a behaviour typical of borderline personality disorder and psychopathy. Psychopaths and borderlines, self-trash, but self-trashing and submissiveness are not the same. Additionally, there are issues of auto eroticism, self-infatuation, and exhibitionism, which brings into the picture narcissism. Narcissism is about being watched, being observed. You see, it's an amazing complex. Mary go around. Let us start. Auto eroticism is when someone regards himself or herself as her own sex object, regarding oneself as one's self-sex object.  We directed it other people and this is called, this is a part of object relations. Our sexuality is other directed. But when there are, shall we put it gently, disturbances in identity, problems with personality, moodlability, extreme emotional dysregulation, lack of core of identity. In other words, when the person is mentally disturbed, when there are serious mental health problems, usually instead of other directed libido, there is self-directed libido, self-directed sex drive.  And this is auto eroticism. Auto eroticism is narcissistic, of course, because it is self-referential. It is a redirection of life's energy. In words, it is interacting with internal objects, including many internal sexual objects. So it is part and parcel of narcissism. All narcissists are auto erotic. Even somatic narcissists are auto erotic, as we will see a bit later. And auto eroticism often goes hand in hand with exhibitionism. Exhibitionism is becoming sexually aroused by being observed or watched in the sex act. So exhibitionists become sexually excited and aroused when they are observed by other people having sex. Another person's objectifying gaze gives them the thrills, thrills them sexually, arouses them sexually. This objectifying gaze of the other, the observer, the spectator, the audience, this objectifying gaze is at the core of narcissism, actually. Because what is narcissism? Narcissism is about being seen, being observed, being spectated. And so exhibitionism is actually a form of narcissism. It is the exhibitionist sees himself or herself through another person's gaze, through another person's eyes. The exhibitionist objectifies herself by being observed, by being watched, by having an audience. And having objectified herself, she finds the resulting object extremely sexually arousing. And of course, the more numerous the observers, the better. The more the merrier. The more numerous the observers, the more intense the sexual excitatory state. So one observer is good, four observers are much better. This is why people with autoeroticism, the autoerotic, mainly narcissists and especially psychopaths, these people gravitate almost invariably and ineluctably, gravitate to group sex, usually with total strangers. And they do so even in early adolescence. The earliest case I've heard of was 12 years old, a girl, 12 years old, who had group sex with a group of men she had met that day. So autoeroticism leads to group sex via the pathway of exhibitionism. The nascent psychopath, usually at this early age of adolescence, it's called contact disorder. It's not called psychopathy, it's called contact disorder. So the adolescent with contact disorder, the sexuality of that adolescent is founded on autoeroticism and exhibitionism. And this adolescent needs to be watched, spectated and observed while having sex. This kind of adolescent and later adult, adult, pickups, picks up total strangers and has sex in front of them with one of them or all of them in succession. They take, they take turns. The autoerotic objectify not only themselves, but they of course objectify also the partner. They use the partner, they use the partner's body as a sex toy to masturbate with. The partner is a masturbatory aid. The partner is therefore objectified and becomes anonymous, impersonal, commodified, commoditized, interchangeable, dispensable, disposable and replaceable.  There's no intimacy there. There's not even, there is no sex even. This is not a sexual activity. This is masturbation with another person's body. And whose body is it, is besides the point. And so the partner's identity is utterly, utterly incidental. The partner could be anonymous and anonymous stranger, encountered only minutes or a few hours before the act. It doesn't matter who the partner is. The partner is a prop. In a theater, autoerotic theater production is a prop, like on a theater stage, on a table, a chair, a lamp. So it doesn't matter if the partner is a long-term partner, an intimate partner so-called, or a total stranger that you've met in the bar minutes ago. The identity of the partner is besides the point.  And in his committed relationships, he is sometimes sexless. Sex with an autoerotic person is an eerie and creepy sensation. It is disembodied. It's mechanical, non-reciprocated, infantile. It's lonely. Usually the autoerotic person avoids eye contact and is so self-focused, so in himself and with himself that it's like he's absent. The autoerotic partner focuses exclusively on their bodies and their self-gratification to the exclusion of everything and everyone else. It's like they're all alone in bed and you just happen to be there as an operation or as an animated dildo or animated sex doll.  The autoerotic's solipsistic self-focus, defiance, and oblivion to the partner, is also a form of narcissistic injury. If the partner of the autoerotic person is a narcissist, if the partner of the autoerotic person is also a psychopath, in other words, if we have two narcissists or two psychopaths, both of them autoerotic, both of them grandiose, the autoeroticism of the partner triggers aggression because it's a narcissistic injury.  So autoeroticism deflates grandiosity, counterfeins grandiosity, it's a challenge in extreme cases. Autoeroticism can modify the narcissist. It definitely provokes the psychopath into rage, extreme aggression, verbalized, or even physical. Autoeroticism is a trigger to narcissists and psychopaths because it casts them as just one of many.  Paradoxically, precisely because the partner of the autoerotic person is a mere generic, undifferentiated prop, precisely because of this. As long as the autoerotic person's needs are catered to within the relationship, the autoerotic rarely cheats on the mates. I want to explain this, the autoerotic person doesn't care who is there to serve as the sex toy.   It's a form of glorified masturbation with another person's body and precisely because the partner is a generic, undifferentiated prop, as long as the autoerotic partner's needs are sexually catered to within the relationship, there's no reason for the autoerotic to cheat on his partner, because what doesn't matter, any sexual partner is as good as any other, so why bother to replace them? The autoerotic person makes love to himself and because he makes love to himself, he doesn't truly care who is in bed with him, so he has no incentive to cheat, it's irrelevant who is in bed with him.  Some autoerotic people are masochistic, so it's a more rare combination, more rare for to have an autoerotic person who is also masochistic, because autoerotic people are narcissists and psychopaths, but it is not as rare as you would think. I would guess that about one third of narcissists are actually masochists, definitely sexual masochists, so if the autoerotic is, but that's a guess, there are no studies, that's from anecdotes and my database, if the autoerotic person is masochistic, he's, he's, or her on-the-fly sex involves extreme self-trashing, so the masochistic autoerotic person self-trashes, self-trashes sexually, despoils herself, degrades herself and she accomplishes this in a variety of ways, she may have sex with unwanted partners, sex she doesn't want to have with unwanted partners and it is precisely because they are unwanted that she enjoys the sex. This is the irony here, self-trashing is about feeling good when you're feeling bad, having unwanted sex with an unwanted partner, that's almost rape or self-rape, that's feeling really, really bad, that, that leaves a bad taste afterwards if not regret and shame which are rare among autoerotic people, but a bad taste definitely and it is this exactly which sexually arouses and excites the autoerotic masochistic person because it's a way of self-punishing, it's self-punitive, it's an inflection of some kind of damage or disgust on herself by sleeping with someone she doesn't want to sleep with, similarly having sex with little known people, people she doesn't know or having sex with inappropriate partners, way too old for example, so all this, all this, this selection of wrong partners, this is a form of self-trashing, made selection that is compromised, made selection that wrongs to blatantly wrong partners is a form of self-trashing, similarly the masochistic self-trashing autoerotic person would tend to pick up sex and to initiate sex or to be responsive to sex in degrading circumstances or in demeaning, debasing environments, she would go to places, dives, joints, where with a very bad reputation where she's likely to be picked up by scum or low-life people, the circumstances, the environment with its horrendous reputation that precedes it, this in itself is a form of self-trashing, so you would find qualified professionals, pillars of the community, decent men and women, come night, go frequent and attend these haunts and joints just to pick up low-life scum, criminals, junkies, alcoholics, and then go immediately to bed with them in a sleazy, fleabag motel of the road, of the highway, go to bed with them within a minute or within two hours after a glass of wine, so this is a way to self-trash, less commonly cheating although rare among autoerotic people when it does happen, it is a form of self-trashing, it's a form of self-trashing because when the autoerotic masochistic person cheats, she sustains, buttresses, enhances her self-perception as I'm a bad and worthy object here, I'm cheating, I'm really bad and of course feeling really bad makes her feel really good or at least really sexually aroused, similarly celibacy, celibacy is a form of self-trashing, not acting on one's sex drive, suppressing it, repressing it, torturing oneself by not having sex, it's the same purpose, it's a self-destructive technique, it's a self-destructive strategy, extreme celibacy and abstaining in the face of temptations and seductions and opportunities, this is a form of self-trashing actually and again the sentence is I'm a bad object, unworthy of sex, I should punish myself, so you see a variety of behaviors, sex with complete strangers, sex with unwanted partners, sex with inappropriate partners, sex with total strangers, sex in degrading circumstances, sex in disreputable environments, cheating when it's not called for, celibacy, all these are actually forms of self-trashing and they characterize, they comprise the spectrum of self-trashing behaviors of the autoerotic person, the self-trashing autoerotic person abuses substances and drinks becomes alcoholic or abuses alcohol, does drugs, the abuse of substances is with the aim of disinhibiting herself, disinhibiting herself, removing social injunctions and social inhibitions which all of us interiorize, internalize in the process of socialization during childhood, to remove these social inhibitions, to behave in socially inappropriate ways, shamefully so to speak, disgracefully, degradingly, to despoil herself, she needs to remove these inhibitions and she uses alcohol and drugs. Similarly, some autoerotic people drink to excess to the point of unconsciousness or blackout because they want to numb themselves to their own socially unacceptable misconduct and some kind of unconscious ego-distony, discomfort with what they're doing, they don't want to experience this discomfort and shame and social sanctioning or problem so they numb themselves, they simply anesthetize themselves with drugs and alcohol. We said that all these, everything I've described until now is characteristic of narcissists and psychopaths, not of course of the general population. Narcissists and psychopaths are an imitative surface only, there's only the surface, there's only the shell, there is no depth, there's just an empty schizoid core where a person should have been. You could say that narcissists and psychopaths are carbon-based artificial intelligence simulations, glitchy by the way, if I may add. So it's surface only, when you try to probe deeper into the narcissists and psychopath, when you try to talk about emotions, when you try to have them commit to you or promise something, you come across a brick wall, there's no way to have any meaningful conversational dialogue with a narcissist and psychopath, except when it is imitative, mimicry, a form of mimicry, there's nothing there, it's not that the narcissists and psychopath are hiding their emotions, when they have negative emotions they're very valuable about it, it's just nothing there.    Sexual self-trashing.  In other words, self-trashing is defined, it's reckless, it is assertive, the self-trasher is in control, she does the thrashing, it involves self-efficaceous agency even when it is ego-dystonic. The self-trasher is in utter control of the situation, she will never succumb or submit to anyone. On the very contrary, she is in all likelihood psychopathic and therefore defined and would devalue anyone who attempts to take over her, to dictate to her like a typical DOM or dominant partner would do in BDSM.  In other words, someone who is submissive, someone who is a bottom and he wants or she wants other people to trash her. Trashing by other people. That's an entirely different animal. Self-trashing by others also known as being sub or being submissive or being bottom. It's a self, it's a different issue because it's a self-annihilating role. It involves total objectification and ritualized helplessness. The sub suspends her will. The will of the DOM, her partner, the dominant partner, the will of the DOM replaces her own will. She is immediately and totally obedient to all his wins, demands and commands. No self-trashing autoerotic person would accept the role of a submissive because they are in control, they are defined, they are calling the shots, they are picking the partners and in most cases, they even tell the partners what to do during the sex. They instruct the partners on how to trash them. They co-opt the partners, they collaborate with the partners, they collude with the partners in the act of self-degradation and self-dispoiling. They teach the partners how to humiliate them, how to torture them physically and mentally. But they are the teachers. They are the ones with the agenda. They know what they want done and they insist on it and they become aggressive and defined when they are denied. No submissive behaves this way. The sub is a total and immediate disposal of the DOM, any time, day or night, sexually and otherwise, by the way, also psychologically. She becomes an extension of him, a tool, a mindless instrument. She becomes his whore, so to speak. Self-trashes and subs are easily mistaken for each other. Narcissists and psychopaths comprise the majority of self-trashing people. They can never enjoy being submissive. Narcissists and psychopaths can never be subs, they can never be bottom, they can never be even a bottom masochistic sub. Narcissists and psychopaths need to control. They need to defy. They need to punish transgressions. Narcissists and psychopaths self-trash to gratify their masochism, but they self-trash. They own the process. They direct the process. Narcissists and psychopaths view the world sex included as a zero-sum game, winners and losers at any given moment. And to be submissive is to lose the game. No Narcissist and psychopaths will accept this. That's why they self-trash, rather than let others trash them submissively. When Narcissists and psychopaths regard themselves as inferior to someone, when they regard themselves as superior to a potential sex partner, they gravitate impulsively towards self-trashing casual sex. When the possible mate is perceived as equal, an equal peer, Narcissists and psychopaths decline to have a one-night stand actually, and instead insist on grooming, love-bombing, and the ensuing shirt fantasies. As Narcissism and antisocial traits and behaviors become more normative, more widespread in the general population, sexual self-trashing is rendered a common practice, at least in the forms of meaningless and emotionless sex and flagrant serial cheating. Yes, you heard me right. So-called meaningless, emotionless sex is self-trashing. Watch my video about the meaningfulness of casual sex.  And when you cheat flagrantly, ostentatiously, serially, yourself-trashing, you're upholding your view of yourself as a bed and worthy object. And all these actions, choices, preferences, sometimes intrusive dreams, definitely fantasy life, self-trashing, fantasy life, all these are common to Narcissists and Psychopaths. They self-trash when they are masochistic. They ignore you when they are not masochistic. When they are not masochistic, they are totally autoerotic and you exist as a prop. When they are masochistic, you are a bit more than a prop, but not much, because they tell you what to do in sex and they instruct you on how to despoil and humiliate and degrade them during the sex, if they are masochistic. I hope I injected some clarity into this very misunderstood and fraught topic.


There may come a point in one's relationship where you hit a bump in the road. To maintain a strong chemistry with one another, here are seven tips on how to have a strong relationship. Physical contact. Intimacy plays an important role in a relationship. Putting your guard down and becoming more vulnerable with each other by either holding hands, hugging, or cuddling shows the other person that you have a great interest with them. Open communication. Communication is key in a relationship. You want to be comfortable with your partner and be able to share your thoughts on any type of subject. You also want to have that mutual agreeance that you are able to handle any situations that come your way and be able to talk them out. Becoming a friend with the person you are interested before dating them can be a bonus because then you know that they can be your best friend and you can be comfortable around them. You have the same sense of humor. It's important to laugh together, especially when times are tough and you're able to break the tension somehow. When you both laugh together at the same thing, it creates a bond between one another and you're able to accept each other for who you are. Emotional bonding. Having an emotional bond between one another is a good way to build a connection and be able to trust and care for each other. When you ask your partner how their day is or if they are feeling okay that day, it lets the other person know that you care and are taking an interest in what they have to say, which brings you closer together. Making up after arguments. It's important to make amends after an argument, no matter how small or big. Being stubborn and fighting with one another is what causes you to become distant, which could lead to a breakup. Talking to your partner about the fight and how you two can resolve it is a great communication form and will only bring the two of you closer than ever. Do not take your partner for granted. Letting your partner know how special they are and how much they mean to you can keep the relationship strong. Being there for them is a great way to show that you care. If a person is constantly letting their partner pay for everything and pushing away what they have to say, it's a sign that they're taking that person for granted. Do you see a future with your partner? Maintaining the relationship and faith in one another, even in hard situations is a big deal. Are you able to always count on your partner? Planning your future together can be a joyous occasion in which the two of you will forever share the bond that you have. If the two of you really care about one another and see a future, do not let them go. A relationship can be difficult at times, but we hope that those seven tips can help you. Don't forget to comment, like this video and subscribe to our channel.


One of the practices I do several times a year, especially at the beginning of the year and towards the end of the year when I'm kind of evaluating how things have gone, is a practice called time logging. Now time logging is simply writing down where my time goes on a daily basis. And I try to do this for about a two-week period as frequently as I can, meaning in that two-week period, I try to log everything from waking to sleeping. Now how detailed do I go? Well, it really depends on your needs, but I try, once you start doing time logging, you'll start to figure out how detail you want to track. So for example, I have an activity on my time log called morning review. Morning review basically is where I start to look at my priorities for the day. I look at maybe some of the emails that are urgent and important. I might answer a few of them. I will do my energy reboot to get my spirit attitude in a good place to start the day, things like that. But I don't track each one of those little things at a separate like, oh, I did one minute of energy reboot. I did, you know, five minutes of email.  That is a little bit too detailed for me. So my morning review is, you know, a half hour. But the key to time logging is not how detailed you go. The key to time logging is developing the awareness of where your time is going. So even if you are, you know, not very good at the detail and just say, well, basically for the last three hours, I did this and you write it down. Okay? That itself is helpful. So I really recommend you try doing this at least for a week, just to kind of, again, it's not the perfection of the log. It's not, oh, did I really spend, you know, three to six p.m. exactly doing this? No. It's the fact that you are writing down and giving at least an approximate of what you did helps you to be more conscious going forward of how you are investing this precious resource called our time and our energy. So remember, perfectionism is not the goal. Awareness is the goal. Now, one other thing I do that I find really helpful and also real quick in terms of how do you log your time? You can simply have a notepad of posted notes that you keep in your pocket and with a little, you know, pencil or pen at all times.  And then when I stop doing it, I'll say, all right, it's 1.55 p.m. And then now I'm going to start doing blah, blah, blah instead. Okay. Now, sometimes, again, you're going to have maybe hours go by where you forgot to do time locking.  Remember, perfection is not the goal.   You go, oh, I congratulate myself that I just became aware of that and therefore I bring my mind back to the breath again. Same thing with time logging. Oh, did I have I not been tracking it? Just track it. And honesty is also really important. Okay. Honesty is important. Even if you're doing something you don't want to be doing, write it down.  Oh, okay. So next time I'll be more conscious when I start doing that activity that I maybe don't want to do less. Okay. So one more thing that's been helpful for me for time logging is evaluating the benefit, enjoyment and learning. So there are three factors I use to score each activity. Okay. BEL is the short benefit, enjoyment and learning. Did it benefit somebody else? Okay. Did it benefit somebody else? That's really what I do. If it did benefit, then I put a B next to it. Did it benefit someone else? E is did I enjoy the activity? Did I enjoy the activity? Did I feel like I was in flow or did I just have fun doing that activity? Was it meaningful for me? Did it feel good for me to do that activity? Even if it's sometimes not feeling good, sometimes there's some discomfort, but there's an enjoyment on a deeper level. Then put an E. Okay. Or maybe surface enjoyment. That's fine too. Put an E. Yes, I did. And an L is did I learn something useful for my purpose? So if my purpose is to serve my clients with excellence and with empathy, did I learn something about that? If I just did a client call, if I did learn something, put an L. Or if my purpose right now is to do content that is engaging for you and that's useful for you, then I learned something in doing this. If I did, and I feel like I did, I put an L. So BEL, benefit, enjoyment and learning. So after every time I actually, you know, what I have done is when I start doing an activity, I kind of make a guess. Is it going to benefit someone else? Am I going to enjoy it? And am I going to learn something? And I'll kind of put that in first. And then at the end of the activity, when I go back to my log and log it, if I didn't really enjoy it, I'll cross out the E, for example. And so this is really helpful because not that you're going to do a careful analysis. You might, you might actually at the end of the week, if you, if you want to really make great use of this, you'll look back at your time log and go, all right, which activities that I most enjoy, which activities that I most benefit at someone else, which activities that I most learn something useful for my purpose. And then you'll just even looking at your log will give you the consciousness of doing those kinds of things more in the future. But even if you didn't analyze it, but just simply wrote that down, you will become more aware. Like I, like I told you, I read it down even before I start doing the activity, I will actually make it a self fulfilling prophecy and end up enjoying the activity more.  I'll probably learn something and then I will find myself learning something. So if you do this BEL thing in the beginning of your time log for that activity, and then at the end, you can say, you can cross out the thing that wasn't true. That itself will help you to do more activities going forward that benefit other people. That allow you to enjoy yourself and then that helps you learn something useful for, for your purpose. So I hope that this is helpful. This has been revolutionary in my life to be doing, doing this time logging activity. Again, even if you do it one week a year, it's going to be helpful. I try to do it in a two week time period, several two to three times a year. And that just kind of recalibrates my productivity a lot. So I hope this is helpful. And until the next video, my name is George Cowell and I'm wishing you greater time awareness.