97 overall, I've got two gold 99s on offense. I've got one two three four five gold 99s on defense Oh my if you might notice right here. We now have AJ Brown as well, which I think is just so crazy Titans fans, how do you feel about that by the way? I know this is an Eagles video I mean AJ Brown's expensive and you replaced him with Traylon Burks, but The new look Eagles offense is stacked AJ Brown Devon to Smith, Miles Sanders, Jalen Hurts, Dallas Goddard So dumb, but all right. Let's look at this team. We got Devon to Smith to Shawn Jackson AJ Brown William Amazing Miles Sanders gold 99 with McGarrett Blunt behind him Randall Cunningham not cheating Randall Cunningham actually was an eagle Hala Pula Vati by Ty. I'm starting to get good at that name Lane Johnson Jason Kelsey Landon Dickerson Jason Peters Mikey Ditko is also an eagle Zach Hurts offense is super good You've got weapon X at free safety Eric Rowan strong safety Michael Vic Corner Reggie White at left end William Perry Gold 99 you also have Jordan Davis, which is awesome. Hasan Reddick Darryl Slay Let's take a peek at this weapon X. He's gonna be 99 everything right yet 99 speed 99 Excel 96 tackle He only has some 87 man's about the only bad thing he has but He's almost never made coverage unless you run something. Love to see that. I kind of want to see Jordan Davis's stats I don't know how much he's gonna gain because he is our second beat tackle But six foot six 86 speed 90 Excel 99 strength 98 tackle based I kind of want to use Jalen Hurts Whatever you guys have seen so much Jalen Hurts. I'll use Randall Cunningham You shout out to Ty the homie ties in MMG live VIP. I also played him in franchise dudes a stud. Let me use the squad So Ty, thank you your own zero. Let's kickstart this for the Philadelphia Eagles team team. Keep in mind There are golden tickets for the Eagles, but broke all the tickets are literally non-existent actually non-existent Also want to give a huge thank you to Seat Geek for sponsoring today's video live events are back as you guys know The NBA playoffs are going on right now and we're approaching the new football season If you guys want to go to games or festivals concerts really anything that needs a ticket You should have Seat Geek on your phone Seat Geek is gonna take tickets from all across the web and put them in one place to make buying simple and of course I have a discount code for you use code MMG for $20 off your first Seat Geek order again That's code MMG $20 off your first Seat Geek order take advantage download Seat Geek use my code and enjoy the rest of the Megatron Randy Moss Tom Brady pretty cool team Randall Jaylin Mike. Why is Jaylin up there? Why is Jaylin hurts all the time? Power Jaylin hurts, baby. All right Eagles team team loading nada strong safety is the sub linebacker here See we go. Oh good TFL say one Barclay on nowhere. I think we just keep the heat I'm a blitz Michael Vic and a loading out of here. Oh, he's gonna motion Barclay. This might not be good Probably shouldn't blitz Mike Vic now Oh, he just had a touchdown say one Barclay. I literally blitzed the corner that was on say go on there Like Vic is quite the user though. Yeah, you hope I'm loading out of no, don't tell me you got that He didn't get it.  All right first and ten guys scored on on the opening drive Oh, look who's white. Oh, maybe not.    Yes, sir. Hey, you'll break a tackle, too All right, we'll go miles Sanders over the middle now. Let's see. Let's see if he sniffs this out Yes, he kind of sorted it not really 14 yards.    He kind of sees it. Yeah, I have four yards No huddling right back up Sanders.  I'm snapping it though. Good dick Just button a kid wide open John Matten help him up, baby. Help him up. We go to Shawn Jackson back corner in the end zone You think that's there? It's not it's not. Wow Everything collapsed. Nobody got open. We're gonna call that a bad play. I will go I form stretch Nobody can stop I form stretch nobody There's not a man on the planet. I can stop this fourth an inches free arts. It's free yards great box Do I go to the fridge? Look at William Perry underneath. Let me see that's seven yards. Oh Randall cutting him Bounds at the five one rush seven yards. Now we go back to the stretch, right? You can't stop it This is for all my miles Sanders fantasy football managers who were very disappointed this year I'm gonna get this touchdown for you Actually, no that looked that looked a lot like how would actually I love I'm not reading my blocks very well I'm kind of a bum he just ran commit I thought he was gonna fail to stop it. I'm just gonna bring it right side now. Let's see if he guesses run again He does I'm doing it one more time to the left side. I'm doing it again.  Let's go one more stretch Uh-oh the juke was perfect too. I might not have got him. Not that juke. All right, we're in Oh, I could have thrown that ring. I could have thrown X. I'm poverty First in 10 shake hat back corner. Not there. Nothing's open. Oh, we almost have ready This guy's check down God. Oh That's so close. Okay. Go. There is just no shot left side cross. They're so open I got stuck on William Perry.  I'll take a bailout. I'm not above getting bailed out Where's he gonna throw? Okay, that was just a horrible throw. I can't believe he got that off. I got everybody in coverage I don't really want to be on eric row, but I am so I Have to take me out here back here back here back here This guy's a wizard nine seconds left. He finds a way to He's still scores. All right. Well the good news is I start with the ball after half And Dashaun Jackson almost just returned that. All right. I can tie this game up right here It's a winnable game. It's not looking good, but it's very winnable All right, we're gonna go underneath the Miles Sanders. Take a good six yards Let's keep marching here. I want big yards.  I want 20 yards. Let's go All right, that was small yards How that man just got double teamed and walks through the middle. I don't even want to know not my game right now I'm never gonna take a I think we're gonna take a pretty tough out right now. Unfortunately. Is that open? Nope. It's That's so not open.  We need two out of you, buddy We need two out of you. Give me a block gold 99 offensive line.   I'm fine with the corner tackling you.  Good drive. It's not spectacular But it's a good drive. You haven't gotten a j brown involved at all. He's the new ego All right, great blocks up front. I might actually be able to take off. Just kidding. Just kidding I'm gonna try a slip screen. I just gotta try something new dude.   What is his team on? He didn't even click on this team is roided out right now, especially on defense.   I'm entirely sure what he's looking for. There's not a lot open Tom Brady thommels, but it's out of bounds darn it Dude, I'm actually playing Thanos. I'm playing against Thanos and he has all of the infinity stones right now Well, I'm just gonna accept my Al like a champion. Oh, you know, it's funny. That's actually really open That was the that was a deep throw on slip screen. I've never tried doing that before but it worked You know, if we score quickly here get our two-point conversion and score again, and then well, I'd have to stop All right, good nine yards. I gotta score quickly because I can't let him chew clock Once he gets this so we gotta make sure we get in the end zone right now Pickle miles or mouse could give me a block. That works. That works. Good block mouse We're gonna hand this off to mouse. Oh my god Mouse sander's beautiful pass opens up the middle down to the one we're so close Devon to smith right over his head beautiful throw I'll take the p.a.t right now And then if I am able to stop him and score then I'll be forced to go for the two-point Good touch down though. Oh, I like that.  He just did that twice to me, bro That's a turnover. Oh, I need that turnover too. Now he's gonna QB sneak And I've never figured out how to stop this It's virtually impossible or full back dive. You can run middle crash middle and you can still full back dive without getting So bad. I can't wait for this game to be over.   All right. Oh, no Don't cut up the field right then.  All right, I'm done. I've had enough Philadelphia. I'm never visiting your city ever I'm never ever going.  Oh, and Jalen hurts


So we will continue initially with review of monatomic statistical mechanics of monatomic gas and then we will do diatomic gas today itself we did it once before but we need to redo many other aspects because these are fairly detailed things so you can call it as a revision but it is more likely many new new information will come in in today's and so in the study of statistical mechanics and study of any subject which is with mathematical and involved in a lot of equations it is worth going through this many times like when you used to derive equations when you are a student one of the things that we are told and we did is that we derived the same thing many many times that is the way to you do not memorize it but you derive it many times you go through it many many times it is like painting when you in order to understand something and get get it inside you deeply you do like we do painting of the one you know you do several quotes so we will briefly and quickly go through few things and then we will go to the new things today we will be in a monatomic gas we will do two new things which we missed before then we go to diatomic gases and we will do some old and some new now we made that in the last class we discussed first the partition function and the partition function is the thing that we I have here on my board the qn and in the circle rate that qn coming from integration over the momentum and for a integration gives volume real space integration gives volume and then these essentially then what happened that q small q that we derived has contain this quantity and multiplied by the volume so n particles we have now q to the power n and then we went and we derived that that the free energy so all these details were done in the previous page so we did that that we wrote down qn is q to the power n by n factorial and then we have the volume given to the n factorial and q is this quantity that 2 pi m kBT by h square to the power 3 by 2 and the volume V that was quantity when that qn with this q is used in the statistical mechanical expression of free energy statistical expression of free energy in minus kBT ln qn qn partition canonical partition function then we get this and then one get an expression of free energy in terms of n total number of particles in the system temperature of the system and the volume of the system this is really beautiful and exact expression a microscopic expression what is hemorrhage free energy and that has is a function of a is a function of n VT and I have those dependence and we have now some very fundamental quantities like I have Boltzmann constant KB I have mass of the particle and I have the Planck's constant okay this is a beautiful really beautiful expression these in the box now then I can calculate by using thermodynamic relation from these free energy I can now calculate pressure and then another beautiful thing comes in that is equal to n kBT you all know the ideal gas law so then the next what we did we went on using that partition function and the and the hemorrhage free energy we get the entropy and the entropy then is obtained by d addtv the thermodynamic relation and now we get a beautiful expression for entropy again the expression of entropy includes the n the number of particles temperature T and when I remove V by n by using the ideal gas law then it is in pressure so entropy suddenly is a exact expression of which in depends on total number of particles in the system the pressure of the gas and the temperature T again I have the mass of the particle is a monatomic gas monatomic gas or the one gas this can be generalized to binary mixture or three particle strings almost trivially then what will happen I have to add say I have argon and krypton then I have n argon here number of argon will come in here and then mass of argon will come here everything same pressure remains the same then I will say n of the krypton and then again mass of the krypton again remains the same so it is ideal gas law you know follows Raoult's law so you add up the entropy multiplied by the number of them and if I say entropy per particle then it become mole fraction so the things to remember things to really note that we have a number of particles n and we have the temperature T here and we have the pressure P here if I have the volume they are following this is the famous circuit temperature equation which I discussed is used in many many many many applications but I before I go ideally you want to impress upon you the beauty of this equation that this is where the temperature comes as 3 over 2 so if I combine temperature with this with it becomes T to the power 5 by 2 and these are much less known than and much less emphasized but these are the elegance but these are beautiful things so then we commented that we use this circuit temperature equation in a drug DNA interpolation we discussed this thing that in that this drug is going to go into a minor or major group and this is a very important problem in chemo chemotherapy or many other drugs and then in doing the calculation there is a beautiful paper by Charles then there is a paper beautiful paper on drug DNA interpolation which you can do the name of Casey Heinz, J T Heinz, Jax I think 2000 I think probably 13 or so and with that this thing was used the circuit temperature equation was used to calculate the free energy of the intercalation and is very important that we get the free energy of intercalation because that allows us to choose or select drugs you know very very important then we use it extensively in the formation of water droplets in the cloud and that you know the entropy when the water goes to form a droplet above water droplet which has to become rain that is lot of loss of entropy because instead of moving separately they are stuck together and with mass and so then the entropy decreases but that thing is used in many many other in euclidation many many other things to continuing now that I gave some a number you should always think in terms of numbers and in entropy number is always in terms of this KB unit that is called entropy unit in a one order Boltzmann Boltzmann constant. Now this is under ambient conditions that they are respective liquid state their gas state neon is the entropy is this and argon is this so they are pretty close to each other this entropy and they are with the whatever experimental value we have by integrating but on thermodynamic variables they least exactly with the experimental values. So now we will do two simple calculations which we have not done before and they are very nice calculations they are simple calculations but they are used some mathematics. So we now derived expression for pressure we derived an expression for entropy we derive an expression for free energy we derived an expression specific heat 3 by 2 R and 5 by 2 R 3 by 2 R comes just as I showed you from a and then 5 by 2 R because you add R to it which comes from PV terms H equal to E plus PV because PV is the derivative of enthalpy and enthalpy comes with the PV extra PV term. So that PV then we replace PV by RT and you take the derivative then one R comes which adds to 3 by 2 R and you get 5 by 2 R that is the reason that Cp is 5 by 2 R and Cv is 3 by 2 R with PV term the extra PV term that goes over to becomes RT in the for a more one more for ideal gas law. Now we will do something we have discussed the grand partition function but we have not used too much of grand partition function we will use a grand partition function later quite a bit but now we are just somewhere about in the beginning of the statistical mechanics course and but we already getting many many nice results but we will get one more nice results the result that we used extensively in your freshman chemistry or in so-called chemistry but the in solution chemistry or in undergraduate chemistry at least I can personally say myself I found it boring and even now teaching it sometime fairly boring so there are lot of very nice books have come to make it easier but the problem of those physical chemistry equations is that they are introduced much of the time they are not derived and example says the solution the concept of chemical potential why the chemical potential goes at logarithmic term that comes as a kind of derivation as a definition but what we will do now it is not a definition we will derive it from statistical mechanics more fundamental why chemical potential goes at logarithmic of density it is very important very important remember in your under guide which study that we start working on chemical potential and it is a very important quantity and in describing the flow of matter but that is proportional to overall density so if we keep low density high density together then matter flows from low density to high density and the driving force will be given by the logarithmic of density and that goes into the diffusion equation in fixed law and all this kind of stuff which we will do later as we go on anyway in a little bit of time dependence statistical mechanics which is just a wonderful subject. So what we did before that we did the grand partition function and grand partition function is this quantity e to the within that is can be I wrote it also like that this quantity and here the z is the fugacity and mu is the chemical potential so z equal to e to the power beta mu so this relation between chemical potential and fugacity z mu is the chemical potential and z is the fugacity. So this is the and remember that this z or beta mu comes these in terms was a Lagrangian multiplier or Lagrangian undetermined coefficient and mu came as the conservation condition that number of particles must be conserved. So we form from micro canonical ensemble to when you go into canonical ensemble we introduce conservation of energy of my super system and that conservation of energy or the super system that means there is energy exchange within the system. But in the super system which has been put by contact putting them in contact with each other so that extent energy and can attain a temporary routine then the however the conservation of the total change was maintained conservation of total energy of my super system and that conservation condition gave rise to beta the temperature beta the temperature term beta is 1 over kb it came as undetermined coefficient but it came as a conservation condition. Similarly, when you go to the canonical partition function then the chemical potential or fugacity came again as a undetermined coefficient but to take care of the conservation of the number of particles. So this is very very important that they come very naturally from a very fundamental condition that is conservation of energy conservation of number of particles that means they are not at all. Now then with that going the way just like q n was sum over energy levels e to the power minus h i k b t we get grand partition function as e to the power beta mu n and q m v t which is written here in another form. So now we will do something very interesting with that before you do that if I now talk of ideal gas in ideal gas I know q now q is a quantity which goes as q to the power n by n factorial. This is the ideal gas of monotomic gas that means I have an exact expression for q. Now those of you like mathematics you can initiate this immediately see that this is a at something to the power n and this is also something to the power n z z e to the power minus beta u. So this is z to the power n this quantity z. So I have one to the power n and that is n so z and q multiply and to the power n and divided by n factorial and what does that remind you that remind you that becomes nothing but an exponential function. So e to the power z q it becomes e to the power z q. So now and that so now we know in we know in so I have an expression for grand partition function that is e to the power z q and I know q. So this is the my grand partition function beautiful. So now I also know that that chemical potential and number of particles are conjugate of each other and the exact relation between them is just like pressure is dv dv entropy is ds dt dv dt and everything like that number is related to this grand partition function through a of chemical potential. Now when I put q and all these things together here because this is e to the power beta z is again e e to the power beta mu I add them here put them I take a log term and then this beta mu comes in front and then a ln v will comes it and then I take the derivative of this quantity then e to the power z q then it becomes it comes out as z q and q is a proportional to volume and z is e to the power beta mu then when I do that simple algebra I get the derivative the derivative exponential is exponential brings me beta down and when I do these things together I get just this beautiful relation. So now you see the volume v the volume if n becomes this quantity so now I can take this v on that side or I can take yeah I can take v on that side I can take n by v that becomes density and lambda q so this whole part is taken there so giving rise to me this term and e to the power beta mu and then I take logarithmic term and beta becomes 1 over kbt so you can easily see that I get this beautiful relation this beautiful relation I like so I use one more color so this beautiful relation now that means chemical potential is logarithmic of density many times we write ln rho which is not correct because you cannot put a dimensional quantity within logarithmic or you cannot put dimensional quantity in exponential so something is missing in these equations but in classical physical chemistry we just write ln rho we cannot not there is always that function lambda cube there and what many times what we do we do chemical potential with respect to one another space each on another state then delta mu term then I have you know ln minus minus ln and then I that becomes ln a minus ln v ln a by v and then lambda q cuts out you get ln rho 1 by ln rho 2 ln rho 1 by rho 2 sorry so that is why lambda q is always kind of a silent player in all these things but I really want to impress upon you this this beautiful relation that mu mu goes as ln rho this is something which is hugely used so when I talk of non-ideality so this is the ideality chemical potential is dependent on linear logarithmic dependence on density but when I talk of non-ideality now the non-ideality will just introduce other activity coefficients and other quantity that is where this is where it enters all these things so there is a very solid foundation of these things these were actually these terms were actually done by Gibbs himself so that is why in the thermodynamics of solution theory many many things that gives equation gives them equation and all this stuff because this was worked out by Willard Gibbs himself. Now so there is a little bit of writing here now that which led me through chemical potential is the change in internal energy on addition of an extra particle in the entropy and that is given here this this thing however an extra particle would result in more number of arrangements in the same volume as a result entropy increases. So basically what one trying to tell here the chemical potential in and that is how it is done in undergraduate textbooks the chemical potential in ideal gas when their molecules are not interacting with each other each other is an entropic order is very very important understand that chemical potential in ideal gas is an entropy. So ideal gas law gives us a fantastic way to talk of entropy because you all you have is entropy and what we do then later when you add interactions many times we try to preserve the entropic term the ln row term like in the member binary mixture ideal entropy of mixing what is that that xi ln xi so essentially rho i ln rho i which is has the same same basically the same structure of ln row term coming and then multiplied by the relative weight of that ln row term is just just beautiful things that that the way they fit together. But this is a very important thing is taught here that it is the entropy that is the important player here because in ideal gas law we do not have interaction but by entropy alone we get a huge number of phenomena and as again I am repeatedly is part of entropy we take we try to take over when you do interacting systems the real systems these are not real but very important just like part in a box in quantum mechanics important harmonic oscillator is important rigid rotator is important and then you go and start doing after doing these things you start doing at hydrogen atom energy and molecules here also we will go over the complex systems. So now we now know we want to go to the and very important very important second calculation of the monotomic gas ideal monotomic gas then with and the result of prediction consequence a result that is used extensively in for example solid state physics and in spectroscopy in conductivity of solids you know the electron gas and that kind of problem where we need to know how what is the number of density of states how many number of quantum states between energy e at energy e between e and e that is called density of states and is very important how the density of states changes with energy and there is a simple trivial calculation but very nice calculation that later go through that now you have done particle you have done quantum mechanics part of the box and you know that the energy is given by this quantity given by this quantity that e is a h square by h m square in x square in x in y of the quantum number and their values are from 1 2 3 4 like that these are the a yeah yeah we discussed at length y this quantum number starts from 1 and they are integer numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 like that now this is a beautiful equation now I realize if I can be little bit messaging of that then in x square in y square in z square I can write it at n square then that n square and I can take now this quantity this quantity on the side then I can write and this is going to be very important 8 ml square by h square I go there so and then n square becomes equal to 8 ml square by h square now this is I can call these as any x square n square all these things like you know x square plus y square plus x square equal to a square that is the equation of sphere so this is the equation of sphere and then I will have something very interesting thing to do because this is centered at origin in 3 dimension now that become the radius now but I know the radius I know the radius that radius in term is given by that okay now one plays a very very smart game and is that we now want to consider that we have a sphere hypersphere let me consider to like that and now these this is sphere now in that sphere I have nx ny nz all has to be in the opposite they I do not have nx ny nz negative so if I say n ny nz and nx now I want to calculate now I say they are all I point and then they these are the point which are correspond to nx ny nz in that one a one part you know one octet of that in the in the hyper in the sphere three-dimensional sphere so now I can now play this smart game I said okay the total number of states would be you know when these are very large in order to calculate the total number of states all I need to do and this is their place unit one and this is the real the crux of the matter that nx ny and nz increases by one nx goes one two three four ny goes one two three four so there is this grid that I am forming I have all spacing want so that allows me to if I get the volume because of them in this unit thing the volume gets the total number of density total number of states and that is what I do now and since the one eighth of it so I know the total number total volume and total volume is this four pi four pi by three n cube n is the radius and n is nx square plus ny square plus nz square and then I have these total number in all these regions all the one is one eight four pi by three and two that is just just beautiful so now I also know what is n I just did in last class by n is n square n square is 8 ml square by h square that I did in the last slide so n cube is then 8 ml square h square by 3 by 2 this is just wonderful so total number of states is increases as e to the power 3 by 2 so it increases fairly rapidly and also what is very interesting that it depends not only on the energy it also depends on the mass and it depends on the length of the box remember al is the length of the box in this in this in this particular in a box model so now but this is not the density of states I am interested in density of states it is not the density of states this is the total number of states now how do you do density of what is the definition of density of states density of states is that you take the the energy the number of states in e and e plus there is a density of states and so you do it by taking derivative you know this this number so it is it is it is it is a increase from e to e plus daily is of course will be proportional to daily in a linear way so now we do that little thing and this we get that density of this is omega is the density of states fairly universal notation and then I get the derivative and daily I can divide by daily and this daily here when I do that then 3 by 2 comes out and this 3 by 2 these 3 by 2 comes here and that 3 cancels this and I get a 2 and 2 is here so I get 4 so I get pi by 4 here then 8 ml square by square remain untouched 3 by 2 and 3 by 2 become root e e to the power 3 by 2 daily e to the power half root e so this is a beautiful result which shows that omega e goes as square root e density of states in a particle in the box goes and and this is this is very important this is the result as I told you the result is used in many applications now there is one more interesting result very interesting result that comes now we do not have one particle we have n number of particles so we do not have a sphere we have a hypersphere and in hypersphere now you have the volume that is going as 3 to the power n by 2 and then you can do exactly same derivative I say 3 by 2 becomes minus 1 and these in the volume these gamma to the power 3 by 2 and this is gamma n plus 1 is nothing but our n factorial and this comes in the volume of the 4 pi by 3 that factor comes like that and then and this is coming again from the particle in a box energy so you now have you now have density of states of n particle systems so this is the density of states of n particles in a cube in a cube of length l so you have a cube in a hyper of length l and this beautiful thing now is omega e daily you can be cast proportional daily but daily is not the important quantity important quantity is these two n factorial that comes from the same logic as partition function but this is the one comes from the factor factors that come in the volume and e to the power 3 n so now you can see a very very important thing that we made already to in the statistical mechanics in the initial part that there is a huge number of states when you particularly when you go to the high temperature so number of states or density of states of n particle system scales as e to the power n and that is a very important result and this means there are huge number of states up there and this is an exact result in a ideal gas law exact result but I have again and again telling much of it goes over even in interacting system and this is the one which is used now in the conductivity problem and many other calculations of solid state physics where electrons are used as free particles and that is a very important model of solid state physics that free electron gas and when you want to talk of free electron gas we take the mass of electron m there and then we calculate this we use this these things in the particle okay so this is what we wanted to talk of this beautiful thing of in a in a way of classical and quantum the beautiful interaction between class quantum and statistical mechanics and then so we will take a we will take a short break and we will start on the diatomic


All right, so thank you for coming. This is the Pragmatic Lessons of Rails and Ruby and the Enterprise. I wanted to start off with mentioning, so I work for Cerner and I doubt anybody in the room that at least anybody who doesn't work for Cerner knows what that is. Is there anybody who knows what Cerner is outside of? Oh, so there's a couple. So, Cerner is a healthcare company. We are, kind of our tagline is that we believe healthcare is too important to stay the same. So we are a global healthcare company trying to facilitate and change the way healthcare is delivered, specifically in the U.S. that means quite a few things, but we spend a lot of time working with hospitals, clinical providers, networks, et cetera, providing them various technologies. Most of that you would see with things like electronic medical records and so on, but part of what I work on is kind of a newer frontier for us which is population health and so that is about trying to focus on the care of populations as a whole and trying to adjust the way that we approach healthcare, especially in the U.S. where we're trying to change from a healthcare system that's mostly motivated by pay for service where we wanna move that to pay for care. My name is Nathan Byer. My Twitter handle is N Byer if you're so inclined, it's not all that interesting, but feel free. I've been with Cerner for over 17 years, so that probably makes me old, I guess. I've been working in a variety of technologies over that period of time. I've been doing open source development for most of that period of time. I had the glorious fortune and I guess misfortune of being a member of the Apache Harmony Project, if anybody knows what that is. It was a brief flame to attempt to create a open source JVM and the coolest thing that we got to do was be part of Android and then now we're being thrown out, so that didn't work out so well. But anyway, so what I'm here to talk about today is how we've utilized Rails and Ruby at Cerner and to talk about that I wanted to give a brief history of what web application development at Cerner's looked like and to start that off with, we kinda have to start off with the beginning, which is around 1999, which also happens to be when I started working at Cerner. I started at Cerner straight out of college. I've got my fancy computer science degree. I know absolutely nothing about software engineering or what it really means to build software. And at this point, Cerner really isn't doing anything with web development. We are doing a little bit, so they've been experimenting with this initial kind of webification of PowerChart, which is one of Cerner's solutions. They called it gloriously enough web PowerChart. And because all of PowerChart is most of PowerChart, at least the end user portions of it are C++ on Windows desktops, then natural inclination was what do we do that works with that? So, started building C++ DLLs and then throwing them into ASP. And when I say ASP, I don't mean that cool ASP.NET stuff. I mean the pre-ASP.NET world where you did just this strange syntax. But we didn't know anything about web development at the time. And I don't know that many people did, but essentially most of the code looked like this. It was an enormous amount of code written in C++ DLLs and it was literally writing HTML and C++. The amazing brainstorm that I had, which wasn't I guess so unique, was that we probably shouldn't put our HTML in the compiled code. We should actually put that in the ASP and separate our concerns. It was an amazing feat and I started to feel like I was a key engineer at the corporation. So, it turns out that really wasn't a thing and not too many people really wanted that and we didn't really even know what we were really doing. And so, as things evolved years later, we started utilizing a lot more Java as everyone kind of does at large enterprises. And so, when it comes to Java, at that time Java was still a little, when we started using Java at Cerner, it was still a little bit of are you sure you really wanna do that? It hadn't quite got to the point where Java was the thing that nobody gets fired for using. And so, we'd kind of worked through some of that, but then we'd started doing various amounts of Java development using doing web development. And so, we got pretty good at doing some of that. We were obviously using struts, just like everybody else. So, this was what you would call Java EE, or back in that day it was Java 2 EE. And at that time, I'd been doing an enormous amount of Java development. So, this was fairly familiar. Anyone who's ever seen servlets and struts, you know what this looks like. It was just, it was kind of a mess, right? And this was the beginning of what, I think our keynote speaker referred to as the XML setups. This was even before then, right? We hadn't quite got to, like let's configure everything with XML. As that evolved, there started to be some offshoots of things. So, around 2009, we had some teams, specifically this group called Cerner Health, that was more focused on consumer oriented stuff. And so, they started experimenting with Python and Django. And so, in 2009, this was a completely valid choice, not that it's not valid today, I guess, but it's just a different situation. And so, they started experimenting with Python and Django, and this was a very interesting time that they were kind of a smaller group at that moment, and they were kind of off on their own, doing their own thing. There were still lots of Java development happening, lots of struts, and by this time, we were talking about struts too, and things like that, and all of that pops up. Sort of concurrently, I kind of got this weird assignment to go build a customer facing pseudo e-commerce store. And so, this is what we called the Cerner Store. And at that time, I wasn't completely aware of what was going on with the Python world, and I didn't really quite understand what these guys were doing, so I didn't collaborate too much with them, and this was kind of set up as somewhat of an experiment. So, I just spent a moment and said, well, what's the rest of the world doing? And maybe I should try that. Well, one of the things that I noticed the rest of the world was doing was Rails, and it was like, well, let's just give that a try. This is a very isolated piece of software. I can kind of go do whatever I want to go do. And so, at that moment, we started using Rails, and it was me, and then I got to hire a couple engineers who were straight out of college, and they had no experience either, and they were like, this seems interesting and cool, so let's try doing that. And so, that's kind of where our adventure began, and we started doing a fairly standard Rails application. It was simple Rails, we were using Ruby Enterprise Edition, we were using Passenger, we were using MySQL as a data store, it was a fairly simple monolithic system. And so, that worked fairly well, but over time, we started to see that as our needs, as a company started changing, we actually needed to do much more kind of what I would call cloud-based development, where, previous to this, almost everything that we've been doing was kind of packaged software. So, this is your traditional enterprise delivery of things where you package up all of your software and you give it to your client, and they take it whole, or we can go run it for you, but we run it for you in a kind of isolated way. And so, as that evolution has changed to more of this software as a service, we started needing different technologies. And this is where then we popped up into, we needed to start doing mobile development. So, in about 2012, we started needing to do mobile development. Well, what we found was that we didn't really understand that with a connected mobile application, you really still need an application on the server side that kind of connects to your application, say, on your iPhone. And so, I kind of got wrangled in and I kind of threw out that we should just start using Rails because I've been using this before, and I think this would fit in a really nice niche spot here, which is we're gonna build some web services to facilitate what our iOS applications need. And so, it kind of fit a nice little realm there that we could kind of quickly build these applications and it was very productive and easy to use. And so, we started building lots of basically restful services to fulfill our iOS apps. Behind the scenes though, this is a very non-traditional kind of system in that there's a lot of the Rails applications themselves didn't connect to databases directly, they interacted through services. And I'm partially to blame for some of this, but for some reason we decided to use Thrift, which if any of you are familiar with this this is a binary service protocol and RPC mechanism. I would not suggest it to anyone. But so we built all these internal services using Thrift and so you had your Rails apps doing that. At the same time we also started realizing we need to figure out how to do deployment automation much better and so this is where Chef came in and one of the big I think drivers for Chef was it also used Ruby in terms of the way you defined recipes and so on and that. So it was actually kind of serendipitous for us to be like well we've got all these tools but if we can use some of the same languages it kind of helps us work through things. And then probably six to nine months later I got tacked with working on the Population Health Initiative which is what I'm partially responsible for now and we became responsible for building what we call Healthy Intent and Healthy Intent is our platform for providing population health services. It's a software as a service system. Part of that is delivering web applications and services and so it was fairly natural at that time to say let's just start using Rails again. We'll build our web applications using Rails, we'll build our APIs using Rails. Behind the scenes instead of using Thrift, we dropped that, we still needed to use a lot of Java because we build a lot of internal tools using Java and unfortunately or if this is your kind of thing we have a lot of big data and that really means you've got Hadoop and if you're working with Hadoop you're really working with Java. As much as you want to not work with Java if you work with Hadoop you're working with Java. So to build services on top of HBase and those things we use Jaxrs. On top of this we also defined what we call Blue Steel and some of you will get the joke there but we defined what is essentially a HTML, CSS and JavaScript framework for building applications quickly. So to some extent it's a little bit like Bootstrap. It's essentially lots of components that have these that we can easily pull together and kind of build up an application and the style just works, the HTML just works and the interaction kind of just works. It also provides us with consistency. So that's kind of where we are at today. That's kind of the current state of what we're doing. So we use Rails to do lots of web application development. We use Rails to do lots of public service development but it's not everything that we use. And so I want to kind of point out some of the things that I think are somewhat unique to our environment and as I've kind of spoken with people I say these are seemingly unique because I don't think they are totally unique. I think people just don't talk about them because it's not hip or cool in some circles. And so one of the big things is that we really use Rails as just a single tool in our tool belt. It's really a component in a very distributed system and so this is kind of a very simple generalization of the way that healthy intent would look if you were to think of it from the top down. And so we have lots of Rails instances running that manifest as individual applications and those applications interact with lots of services. And so those services that they interact with will be Java based services. Some of them we've actually built using Rails because they're sort of a simple reference service where it's really just I want to have some kind of a specific domain of modeled and then I need a little database and then it's a nice little service and that builds it very simply there. The Java stuff, we've got a lot of HBase and Solar and we use those in parallel so this diagram doesn't do it justice but we use, if you've ever had to use HBase, it's very interesting for doing key value lookups but it's really not good at anything else and almost everything else you need to do is that anything else. So if you need to search for something, do you find it, you need an index, right? Normally in a SQL kind of world where you use indexes and I do select where X equals this, you do lots of where statements, you don't get that in HBase and so we use Solar to kind of help with that. In the wild you would also see a lot of people use Elasticsearch in this kind of fashion. We also do have cases where we use Solar as kind of both, it is the data store and the querying mechanism to it. It's not super important for this kind of context but obviously underneath that we've got this huge, massive big data processing system and I've simply trivialized it.  So if you can avoid it I would suggest it. I unfortunately can't. And so to kind of give a little bit of scale in terms of what this really means, at the top there I've only got little four boxes but within healthy intent that really represents I think something like 15 to 20 actual projects. Below that we're probably talking more like 20 to 50 projects and then it kind of blossoms like that. Across Cerner there's probably 50 to 100 rails projects that are all completely independent doing all kinds of interesting things. And so we've got plenty of usage at scale. So one of the, one kind of unique aspect is how we talk about security or at least some of the requirements of security. I don't think security is anything unique in terms of rails development but we do have some specific requirements that I haven't seen manifest elsewhere. I'm sure they do, which is not talked about but we have this requirement around user event auditing. And so in a clinical setting when you have users working on some software and they're interacting with a system that has healthcare data in it, you have to know exactly what they're doing every step of the way. So every step that they do has to be audited and that audit event has to be made available to the people running the system. So in this case it would be like hospitals and physicians, clinics, et cetera. They have to be able to go back and say, I need to know what this user did, when they did it, what they saw because they could have been doing something wrong. Legally, you can get into situations where for malpractice you have to say, well, can you show me that this person didn't see this chart? I need to go look and do those kind of things and so we have to actually have a complete system where every single action that a user can take gets logged and audited and so we store that auditing and so this is kind of an interesting security feature where we have to have this whole system where we can spawn off these events and say, oh, this thing happened, this thing happened, this thing happened to be able to track that. It's not an especially difficult or onerous thing to do but it does add a lot of complexity to our Rails code and that the application tends to be where you implement the auditing capture because that's where you actually know what the users are doing. At lower levels it's all system oriented so you don't know what the user's doing. So this adds a lot of interesting complexity in that you've got to figure out kind of interesting ways to add DSLs to your controller or model objects such that you could say, well, as a byproduct of this action, submit a view chart audit event for this user and kind of just capture it simply. Another kind of interesting security feature that we've been kind of experimenting with a lot of in the past few years is really about federated authentication. And I think people have seen this before when you've got, I've got my application and I don't have my own identity. I let you log in with Facebook or Google or Twitter, et cetera. I kind of federate my identity. In our world, federated authentication it's the exact same thing but instead of it being Google or Facebook, it is client X has this SAML provider that's built with Active Directory and they've kind of got this weird system for doing login that doesn't really work but we do SAML, so it'll all work together.  Don't get involved with it. And so we've had to build these, this whole kind of federated session system where we completely separate that from our applications and so we kind of have a slick separation of concerns now where we have applications that interact with a authentication session service and all we know about is that you have an authenticated session. I don't really care about how your identity was logged in and what you meant with it. I just know you're a valid user and I can deal with that but then this poor session services, they've got to deal with integrating with all of these variety of identity providers and none of them do it the same. It's all a terrible, terrible experience. So another piece of security that I don't think is completely unique but it is a variation on what you might generally approach. So when it comes to authorization or access control, you'll often hear about the terms maybe like role-based access control where you define this person is a role like they're an owner or a publisher or a creator and you have permissions that you do based on that. Well, within the healthcare realm, what we've got is we have a variety of things where it's sort of role but roles are much more arbitrary than that where and so we kind of use what we call group-based. You can define groups to be roles but you can also kind of just define groups to be like I'm in this really cool group so that means I get to do these really cool things and so that happens quite a bit but what makes that much more complicated is that authorization also has to be based on data in the system. It's not and this is where the more complicated access control is that it's a user's relationship to data not a user's role that tends to be the more complicated and more important security.  Another doctor doesn't get to just see your chart because they don't have a relationship with you and so there are hundreds of these kind of database access controls that you have to try to model and you have to try to work through where it creates this fairly complicated situation where you have to have layers and layers of complicated code where it's like, okay, are they in this group? Can I let them do this and then do they have this relationship with the data? Should I allow them to do that? And it's especially complicated because oftentimes that relationship isn't direct, it's indirect and so it'll be a user's relationship to something like an organization and then that organization's relationship to a patient. So I get to see that patient's data because that patient's related to the org and I'm related to the org and so then we both get to do. And this is an extremely kind of painful and complicated thing that, again, this manifests in our Rails applications because that's where we do a lot of our security because that's where the user meets the data. The other, I think, kind of major aspect of things is really what I call development ecosystem and this is really oftentimes in a smaller environment it's kind of a byproduct of just doing development but it's something I worry about a lot. It is really how engineers are productive and how they go do their job. What are the tools you have for doing builds? What are the tools you have for accessing libraries? What are the tools for documentation for all of the libraries that you're building? How do we make all of that consistent? How do I make sure you're using the right libraries? How do I make sure you're using the right code style? Things like that. One of the things that I think that pulls in for us is that so we have an enormous amount of, because we have so many projects, Rails projects, that naturally is gonna lead to lots of gems and so we've got hundreds of internal libraries that we have to manage and maintain and so obviously we have to have our own gem server. And I don't know if you've ever had to deal with trying to run your own local or internal gem server but this is not something that the Ruby community does well. And this is honestly something that I've kind of bristled against for a very long time. So I mean, for a long time I was very much a Java developer and as much as it's kind of gross and things like Maven are kind of gross, Maven nailed it in terms of dependency management. They really work through all of these concepts of I've gotta have a repository and I've gotta have namespaces and names for artifacts and versions and then I'm gonna define dependencies and define all this tree. Ruby gems did a little bit of that. They've got an inkling of that. Bundler comes in and tries to do some more of that and Bundler is evolving. But it's still kind of a difficult patchwork of things and so this is still a very painful piece of like, I can set up my own gem server but Bundler with multiple gem servers is kind of weird and it'll try to warn you about oh, there's this name that's the same in these gem servers but I can't help you fix that and so this is kind of a very painful part that I would like to see help in the community in terms of being able to have more of a distributed mechanism for dealing with gem management. It's very, very painful. One part of our development ecosystem that's kind of important is what I would call builds and so this kind of encompasses a lot of things but builds are kind of important for us in that. So as a, I don't know, I hate, again I use the word enterprise but as kind of an enterprise we get tacked on we've got lots of these regulations and processes so Cernar is an ISO 9001 certified, we have to deal with the FDA, we have to deal with HIPAA, we've got ethical obligations as well as our legal obligations, we've got all these things and so we have lots of processes that are very general and generic that talk about, okay, if you're gonna do development you have to have all of these things that you do in development to prove that you're doing it right, that you're auditing it, that you can recreate it.  If you've never dealt with kind of regulation and process it can be a difficult thing and so some of the topics that come up is like so when we talk about like when you just work with the code, when you're finished like you can't just say like I'm finished and then it just works right, we actually have to go through and say like we have to make sure it's actually tagged correctly, packaged correctly, we have to make sure it's tested correctly and you have to prove all of those things and so it isn't so much that you can just test it and that your unit tests run, you actually have to have the results of those unit tests and you have to be able to prove that you could recreate them and they have to be done and all that things and so kind of as a side effect of that we've created this kind of tool we call rollout and it's a little bit like a really poor man's maven but essentially what we've built is each project gets a description of the project we call it the project yaml file, tells you what the project is, its names, tells you where its source code is, tells you where its JIRA is, tells you all kinds of information and then we've got a little tool that kind of wraps around things like bundler and RubyGems as well as our doc generation as well as running our spec and test unit and then all kinds of other things that we wanna pull in so pulling in we wanna run breakman audits, we wanna run a dependency report so we kinda have to just say here are the real dependencies and do all of these things so that then we can run our builds off of our tags and then archive it. It seems like it's kind of a trivial thing but it can be kind of painful and expensive if you don't just have it and it doesn't just work and so speaking of dependencies one of the things that we've found is working with Rails and I think a lot of people already know this is that you've got to stay up to date and in our world that can be interesting in that not everyone is moving very quickly and releasing very quickly so if we talk about Cernar's kind of older software so software that's been around for 30 plus years they've got development and release cycles that measure in months and almost a year and so when Rails updates come out every few weeks whether there's patches or fixes or stuff like that it's kind of a whole new world and then if you add in all of the dependencies that you start using all of your dependencies are releasing new code all the time and then they're also releasing fixes all the time and if you don't stay up on that new code it'll break and so you do not wanna wait till it's like oh they released 2.0 I was like I just don't have time for that like it could be three months later and they released 3.0 and you're like oh I've got some time I'm gonna go do that upgrade it's almost impossible it was like the lightning quick changes that can happen in these environments are kind of almost difficult so you've got to stay up to date so fortunately we've gotten pretty good at this almost all of our Rails applications in the healthy intent environment I was talking about all running four to five or six I think it's four to five but we've kept them up to date very quickly we move as fast as we can and also at the same time I would say we like to trim them as fast as we can you've got to keep a handle on the dependencies you cannot just let everyone decide to be like oh I think this is a cool one I'm gonna go do this and pick up that both from a practical and pragmatic standpoint as well as a development control standpoint you've got to vet your dependencies so we don't just go pick whatever we want you can't just go out and say like oh I'm gonna start pulling this down because it's the latest coolest thing right yeah like in JavaScript land like that's even worse I don't know I don't get involved too much in that world fortunately but I can't imagine dealing with that but you've got to vet your dependencies so we spend a lot of time actually trying to understand most of it is open source dependencies so you have to go look at that dependency as like if it's a community is the community actively maintaining it are they still developing it right you can't just if it's one dude that's a risk I can't take a risk on a dependency just because it's super cool right it actually has to be valid if it's one guy there's a risk that guy's gonna fall off the earth right or he's just gonna get bored right and the mitigation for that for us is if that guy falls off the earth we own his code right so that's a challenge that you think it was like because you won't necessarily be able to remove it instantly so the moment that becomes lost you own it and it's yours to deal with so this is something that we spend a lot of time with kind of talking about so try to do this quickly some of the lessons you have to be aware of culture shock so as cool as Rails and Ruby are people will hate it just because it's different and so if you got Java developers you'll see things like this a lot where like I didn't even know you could do this where like you could do private and then public again this was like this was really cool I thought that was awesome but then just things like why do you need a factory and the best part was like this was a service factory it wasn't in a library it was in a Rails app so it was like creating an abstraction that just you didn't need the abstraction like everywhere you needed to do you could have just done new for the service and it would have been fine and then hidden in here too is this interesting you see this dot absent like they actually built an extension to like string and nil and like all objects to add the absent which is really just the nil question mark feature you know function that's already built into Ruby I was like no I just don't trust it I'm gonna build it all myself like this happens I don't know how many times we've seen this the other one is if you run into we run into this world where like if it's all static types right people just are afraid of dynamic typing I don't know I don't know why you know I've never kind of understood this it's just like if I'm in Ruby it's just where it is if I'm in JavaScript it is its own thing right these are all their own thing but people will spend a lot of time and energy writing hundreds of lines of code on like is this type string is this type hash is this type like to go through all of this stuff is like so you have to kind of be prepared to teach them that duck typing is okay and that loose typing is okay and that like it might just be nil it's okay all right those there is serious fear about this and as an aside I've tried to there also seems to be a weird fear of this in the big data world too is that there's this fear of like text where it's like CSVs and JSON or just plain text versus I've got to have proto buffs or Avro and blah blah blah and I'm not I haven't completely decided this but I think that it's pretty much the same thing as static typing and dynamic typing right everyone who's like I've got to have these proto buffs and Avros is like these are all static typing people right it was like if you can just deal with JSON and CSVs you know you're probably just a dynamic type and I think you'll see that too if you go dig into these any of these big data conferences of technologies people are using Python right all they use is CSVs and JSON right people that are using Scala right it's Avros and proto buffs it's a very interesting dynamic and it's like you've got to have your types and I've got to have my data typed and it's one of the other pieces that and this isn't just a Rails thing but I've seen it pop up more in Rails because of the way that when you work on a Rails project it kind of encapsulates things is that there's a lot of misconceptions around reuse and so I see three things that I often bristle against and so one of them is what I call micro frameworks and this is like where it's related to everyone wants to write infrastructure I don't know and maybe this might be just me talking about a Cernar culture thing but like you are a cool guy if you're writing the architecture and the infrastructure right like you're not so cool if you're writing features functionality so you tend to see this like I'm going to create some frameworks within my Rails app that are going to make developing this Rails app be super awesome and sometimes this is creating abstractions over the existing abstractions and kind of doing things the other piece is like it's lots of do not repeat yourself when it's really not repeating yourself all that much I think reuse can be tortured and overused and it really doesn't work at scale and what I mean by scale is when I talk about healthy intent which is the organization I work in so and I'm responsible as the principal architect for the direction of about 300 or so engineers and architects when you're dealing with 300 engineers and architects reuse is a little overrated because each individual person thinks they are dealing with reuse and that they are creating the best thing but what happens is you get 300 snowflakes and they're all special and they all want their own frameworks and they all want to like no I'm going to do it this way because it's super cool to do it this way and I'm going to make sure this Rails project does it this way and then what I end up seeing and dealing with is that I've got this Rails project that's a snowflake and this Rails project that's a snowflake and the only difference between them is that one of them has domain model X and one of them is domain model Y but all of their code is completely different so I can't move people around and be like hey can you help me build this feature over here they're like no that thing's crazy looking I can't believe they went and did that but if they were to just been doing it my way it'd be totally perfect I was like well like that person over there is saying the same thing about you and I was like so this is something that happens and I don't know that it's necessarily enterprise problem but at scale it happens a lot all right so I don't know if I've got any time but if there's questions I will come answer your questions you can come up we can chit chat I have three little reservations for the Cernar party at that you can get into if anyone really wants to get in I can give you one if you ask me an interesting question tomorrow as when the booths open up in the exhibit hall tomorrow they're giving away a raffle for a Jackstack gift card which if you're in Kansas city you can go to Jackstack and get your barbecue fixed I believe it's like a hundred dollars so it's like more ribs than you could deal with and then I believe it's Friday we're giving away a Phantom drone which is like a thousand dollar drone and it's super awesome so I would suggest you go to the booth and get that there's also people walking around that have the Cernar engineering hoodies because no one else is wearing hoodies you can go chat with those people about Cernar stuff again you can come up and talk to me thank you everyone I appreciate your time


And now, a tale well-calculated to keep you in, Spence. Listen now to the old man, starring Leon Janney in the title role, and Reynolds Osborn as the director, written especially for suspense by Bob Corcoran. Madam? Madam, you're standing on my cable! Oh, you and your cable! Madam, you're s- thank you! And a happy new year to you too! Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, from New York's famous Times Square, where in less than six short hours, thousands of people will celebrate the moment we're all waiting for. Goodbye to 1961 and welcome to 1962! I-I beg your pardon, how does one get to persevere in your state? Right that way, sir! Even now, things are getting a bit crowded here, as more and more people arrive, anxious to be as close to the center of the crisis possible. But I wouldn't miss it for the world! No, not for the world, my folks! Well, from my vantage point here on Broadway just north of 44th Street, I can see the excitement in both directions. Excuse me, sir. I say, how does one get to persevere in your state? That way, sir! The famous lights of old Broadway are blazing, and I'm reminded of testament comment about what a wonderland Broadway must be to the man who can't read. Instead of cigarettes and beer and tissue paper, to such a man, the lights might spell out hope and faith, or advertised charity, goodwill, peace. Uh, well, now let's talk about one of the- Good evening, sir! Happy new year to you! And now here's a cab driver who, uh... Sir! Sir, sir, the cable. Wait a minute, wait! Boy, are you nervous, Matt? Will you relax? Big party! Happy new year to you! And what's that wire? It's a radio cable, sir. We're on the air. We're on the air. You mean people are listening to what you're saying? Of course! This is a CBS radio network! Hooray! Hey, give me that microphone, Charlie. I got a great joke, a great joke. Oh, boy! Well, fellas, at this party I was at, it's a little shady, but this is- No, no, no, no. I mean, that's very kind of you, but I'd like to talk to this gentleman here. Uh, what's your name, sir? Joe Wostin.  Well, he's sitting behind the wheel of a taxi crab. What else? Uh, how do you feel, Mr. Walton, working New Year's Eve? Oh, just another night, only worse, but no complaints. Uh, do you always work New Year's Eve? Oh, I didn't used to do now. I mean, you got a party to go to, and once you're around that's different. Look, I'm working an old guy like me. That's got to be good, right? I agree, sir. I agree. Look, there's this girl, you see, and she's got a chuck-eyed parrot. Yes, yes. That's very good, very good, sir. Boy, you've got it so fast. Uh, here's your cab, sir, right here. Do I want a cab? Well, you know how hard they are to get the New Year's Eve? Oh, yeah. Thank you. That's it. Step right up. Hey, thanks a lot, man. Oh, thanks for talking to me, Mr. Walton. Thanks for the fare. And there, ladies and gentlemen, a picture and miniature of what's going on all over this great city, the whole country. Some people celebrating, some working, but all mindful of the moment coming closer. Off with the old year, and on with the new. The ending that is really a beginning. I believe that is all, Miss Fowler. Yes, sir. Sorry to have kept you late, particularly tonight, but these reports had to be completed. I mean, if we haven't reports, where are we? Oh, I agree, sir. You're a young lady of great discernment. Thank you. Now, everything all set for the retirement ceremony? Ah, yes, sir. I detected the stick change of tone, Miss Fowler. Is there something wrong? The plan's not well-laid? Organization disorganized? Oh, no, sir. Everything's working smoothly. Well, then why aren't you happy? I'm happy. Well, it's just, well, since you ask, it's the old man. What about the old man? Well, I just hate to see him pushed out, losing his job. I see. Your new year, so I will explain, Miss Fowler. It has become a cliche, which I nevertheless use when appropriate, that business is business. I've heard it. I mean, yes, sir. There is no room for sentiment here, no matter how well-meaning. Your feelings do your heart good, but our organization's ill. Retirement is the way of the world. Age must give way to youth. When a man's job is done, he must step aside. I know that, but it seems a shame. Not to the man coming up. So the poor old fellow is just to be shoved out? We have a nice party planned. He knew when he took the job that it wasn't going to be forever. I mean, it's not as if it were civil service. I agree with everything you say, sir, but it's still a shame. And we're giving him a lovely present, a stunning gold watch. My assistant is giving him the good news at this very moment.  You're not fooling me a bit. There are hello presents and goodbye presents. He's never said hello in his life. Oh, I couldn't talk like that to the director. Sir, as I don't need a watch. Got a timepiece, and I didn't need him together. Whatever you say, if you don't want the watch, well, we'll just have your farewell party without it. Maybe there won't be any farewell party either. What? You can't mean that. You just never can tell. No, sir. No matter the fact, you can tell him for me. Well, you will believe this. Then, sir, he looked at me in the strangest way. How strange? Like this. That's strange, all right. He's senile. At the very least, sir. He said he wasn't sure if he'd come to his farewell retirement party. In fact, well, go on.  Go on. He said he might not retire at all. What? You got angry? Not retire? Well, that's impossible. Retirement is mandatory. There's no choice. That's what I told him. What did he say? He laughed. When you get that old, I think it's called a cackle. There it is. The important thing here is to handle this quietly and efficiently. We wouldn't want this sort of thing to come to the attention of the chairman of the board. Would we? Oh, no, sir. We might be out of our director's job. I will deal with the impertence lurking in that sentence as soon as this matter is straightened out. Now, you will tell him that the rules are clear and that no exceptions can be made. We are sympathetic, but firm. His retirement is here today, and it follows from this that tomorrow he won't be. Hey, Johnson, you see the old man? No, not in here. Hey, fake it. Old man been around here. I'm sick. Well, tell him I'm looking for him. Can't find him. This is the way you carry on my orders as simple matter. But, sir, we booked everywhere. Since you haven't found him, that is an obvious untrue. This is what comes of setting the retirement age so late. You are right, sir. He's senile. I don't care what he is. You get him in here. Mr. I've driven you clockwise around Manhattan Now, counterclockwise. It's your money, but...  And she's got a cock-eyed parrot. You told me, Mr. Six-time. Very funny. Hey, uh, look at that old guy over there.  No, no, no, no. He's no nut. It's New Year's Eve. Probably got lost on the way to a masquerade party. He's going to freeze in this weather. How about picking him up, huh? Oh, sure, sure, Mack, why not? Anyway, there's this girl, see? It's Mr. Cock-eyed Parrot. Yes? You going to a party? Well, I was invited to one. Hey, it figures that get up there. Up here, I'll give you a lift. There's a guy back there, but he's sleeping things off. Excuse me, sir, but you're not a young man. Not for a long time. In fact, now that I look more closely, not what even might be called middle age. Well, I guess you can say that.  Now, wait, wait. OK, maybe not middle age, but... And here you are working. No one's trying to push you out of a job. Look, mister, you want to get in? I haven't got a year. You have now. Huh?  Very good, yeah? Well, yeah, it's a real rig you got on, mister. That's how I got your crack about me having a year.   A size. Yeah, yeah, that's it, yeah. You wearing slippers in this kind of weather, huh? Sandals. Oh, your sandals, can you?  They want to give me a gold watch. Nice price. How come you already know who you're going to win it? It's for my retirement. Masquerade retirement party? Yeah, no, just retirement. Yeah, yeah, I see. Where can I drop you, huh? Your hair is just as white as mine.  No one is trying to make you retire. Like, see someone try? Well, you were very fortunate. They're giving you the squeeze-out play at work, can I? Yes, yes. How long have you been on a job? 365 days. Oh, well, I thought you'd been there like, you know, 30 years. It's about the time they all out the gold watches and wave bye-bye. I don't need a watch. This hourglass works perfectly. Where can I drop you? I've been reading lately about geriatrics. Oh, sure, yeah, me too. A man's age should have nothing to do with his holding a job as long as he can do it. That's been proven. I agree with you 100%, so don't quit. It's just him not those other two flowers. Sorry, sir, I thought speed was the important thing. It was his fault, officer. I gave a clear-hand signal. Hey, what did we hit anyhow? Are you satisfied with the trouble you've caused us? No. Get out of there. I've had a very interesting talk with my friend here. Wait for me, pal. At least you, I know. What's with all this? We crack up when we're deadsville or something? Please, you are not deadsville. Nutsville? I refuse to pursue this conversation. Remain quiet, and as soon as this matter is straightened out, you will be returned. Oh, look, mister, my meter is running. Sit down, all of you. 1961, you sit there. 1961? Yes, sir. 1962 here? Right on schedule. At least something is going right. Bring 1962 in. 1962, Nutsville. There will be no muttering. This lamentable matter can be cleared up quickly, smoothly, and efficiently. Hey, you know, it's a long time between drinks. Huh? Boy, we should throw for a long way to get here. Here, sit right here quietly, please.  Oh, that's great. Way to go. Oh, well, one is better than nothing. But what kind of a party were babies? Like none we were ever at, buddy. Attention, please. Attention, please. I believe I conveyed that thought. Sorry, sir. 1961, to put it as briefly as possible, I'm appalled at your conduct. We all are. From time out of mind, we have always run things here, or delivered. Well, maybe it's time someone changed that. One year giving way to the next. No sense to, as far as I can see. Now, if I couldn't do the job well... The job is no longer yours to do. Now, 1961. I may call you 61. Nutsville. Yours has been a good average record. If I'll show that you did things on time, you started spring on March 20th at 3.32 p.m. summer, as agreed, at 10.30 a.m., June 21st, and so on, so on, so on. Now, suddenly, I find that you refuse to set aside at midnight tonight so that your rightful successor can take your place. Why should I quit for him? It's the way you got the job. That 1960 was falling down on his face. I'm as good as ever I was.  He ain't been doing anything but sleep. Now, you see, I've been waiting about geriatrics. I know. That's what started this whole mess. I had a nice talk with my friend. I know that. Well, here's something you didn't know.  Oh, dear. December 32nd, December 33rd, December 34th.  It's just just a level. I haven't been drinking and I'm hearing the same thing. Will you two be quiet? Well, 1961, now that you've had a chance to think over this matter, I'm sure you'll see the whole thing in an entirely different light. Well, I'll say one thing for you. You're off and wrong. I took this job a year ago. And a joyous occasion as well. And I had things all planned. Gonna do a lot of things. Make the world better, people happier. Things like that. But you did fine. I had Miss Fowler get some of your clippings together. Give them to him, Miss Fowler. Here you are. Highlights of 1961. Very nice. See for yourself. That's all. That is a good part. I got a mess of clippings, not so good. So I figure with my experience I'll just stay on the job and make a little better name for myself. Well, you just can't. And that's all there is to it. Well, I checked. And you can't get me out of this job unless I walk out. Mr. Director, is that true? The rules? I was not always... In the beginning, certain niceties of organizational procedure were overlooked. And the obvious excitement of exploding particles and expanding gases. The gas is still expanding. Until this unfortunate moment, this oversight has never occasioned any trouble. In fact, 1929 wanted to quit before his term was up. That was his business. My idea is to keep on the job. But think of all the 1962 Almanacs calendars. The speech is starting poised as we are on the threshold of a new year. I don't care about any of that.  You said right, Mike. Mr. Director, your son, but 1961, is not mine. Maybe we just sort of... Why are you? I do not need too old, may I mock old? You tell me. Times past, present and future. Assistant Director speaking. Assistant to the Director. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Oh, he should have told him more, huh? Well? And stop smiling. That was the chairman of the board. Oh, big daddy. He told me to tell you to be quiet. Me? You. So be quiet. Really? It seems that these gentlemen are not here by accident. The chairman planned that they would encounter 1961. Oh, Fulton Street? He said he might be able to do what you obviously cannot. Well, I know the chairman of the board is a very smart fellow. Even with some of the people he's got working for him.  Wouldn't try to anyway. No, I'll be neither. Well, that's more than I can say for some around here. 1961, you got any idea why the chairman wanted us to talk to you? Nope. Unless he got tired of listening to this blabbermouth here as much as I did. I've been wondering myself. We're such a clean cut type, you know? Maybe it's because we sort of know more about you than anyone here.  Yeah. Yeah, I guess you did. And even though this is where you keep time or dole it out or whatever goes on around here, we use it. Sure, you go to the consumer every time if you want the facts. You know, could be that we know things about you and your job that never occurred to you. Now, you two aren't going to try to soft-soak me into the trash pile too, are you? Look, we were talking about geriatrics, remember? You bet. Well, I guess there's no worse feeling than being useless or unwanted or rejected. Oh, you know too, huh? Oh, a guy doesn't push a cab around town New Year's Eve if someone like, say, a daughter and son-in-law ask them to stay home and join their party. They want to give a party to get rid of me. Well, that party's going on all over the world. Sure, that's the thanks I get. The appreciation. What have they got against me? Was I that bad? You. What kind of a year was I for you, huh?  Me? Yeah. My wife and I were always, always going to take this trip, say, when we got a little ahead, you know? Oh, sure, sure, man. Then all of a sudden, it's just a little cold in the chest. I tell you old man, I won't be sorry to see you go. What about you? Oh, me? Well, I don't know how to say this. Go ahead. It's all right, whatever you've got to say. Well, I can't remember a better year. Got the brakes all the way, a lot of laps, might also hope it, you know? Yeah, that's not so bad, is it? Oh, it's fine for him and millions like him. For some other millions like me, even worse off, not so fine. You see, old man, you're not just one year, not just 365 days and nights hooked together. Seems to me you're as many years as there are people, and for each of them, in their own special way, you're a good year or a bad year, or all the mixtures in between. But my job, my record, these highlights. It's yours, old man, people's. The lowlights, too. All you supply is the time. That's not true. And when you were young, like this little guy here, you brought hope, too. A feeling that the old slate was sort of clean. We were all starting over. Well, that's right.  You're not lying to me. For what? I can always use some hope, but I wouldn't make a federal case. People all over the world are looking to say goodbye to you tonight, and hello to the kid. I'm with them. Well, what if I say no? You got me. Well, we'll see what happens at midnight. You gonna tell anyone what happened? Ah, now, when I'm sober. Oh, I sure glad I left my cab up there till tomorrow. What you gotta do in New York?  What do you think the old man is gonna do? I don't know. I can't say I blame him. You know, I think he's gonna pack it in after he thinks it over. Guy talks big, then it comes down to it, and he goes along. Yeah, I hope you're right. What are you gonna do now? Oh, I don't know. Hey, how about going over to Times Square, make it just about time for the big blast when they let that light go on at Times Building, huh? Okay, we'll get our answers there. That's whether or not the old man quit. Everyone will, for that matter, even if they didn't know about what happened tonight. Oh, yeah, sure. You'll see. If when the whistles blow and the bells ring and everyone hollers, Happy New Year, we get that good feeling of hope. Something beginning, better days coming.  Suspense will be listening to the old man, starring Leon Janney in the title role, Reynolds Osborne as the director, written especially for suspense by Bob Corcoran. In a moment a word about next week's story of suspense. Going places tonight, lots of people are, and not everyone will reach his destination safely. Unscheduled stops for many this night of nights will be emergency wards, hospital beds, and the morgue. It needn't be so. Be extra careful, extra courteous, and moderate in tonight's celebration. Suspense is produced and directed by Bruno Zirato Jr., musical supervision by Ethel Huber. Featured in tonight's story, we're lost in Zerbe as Joe Walston, Ivo Francis as the assistant to the director, Larry Haynes as the tippler, Ralph Komargo as the announcer, Rita Lloyd as Miss Paola, and Guy Rep as Johnson. Next week we will return with Breakthrough, written by William N. Robeson. Another tale, well calculated to keep you in. Suspense. Happy New Year from the CBS Radio Network.


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Hello and welcome to another real English conversation with myself Adam Novus and Liz Wade. Hello Liz. Yes, I was gonna say my own name, but it's all good. It's always good to have someone else's What was I gonna say? Someone else's say your name. Let me start that over. And this is how you know that this is not scripted at all Real conversation a real conversation. Yeah, we turn on we turn on Skype and we have this conversation So exactly so today we're talking about the program Sports and steroids. I think I've got that name right or it's steroids and sports No, it's sports and steroids. I got it, which um, sometimes I think is a is a program That that maybe doesn't apply but it always applies. I feel like we always have Issues with sports or steroids in sports. Yeah, people are always looking for Ways to get an advantage, which is really what this program is all about It's about the different ways that athletes professional athletes amateur athletes Use steroids to get an advantage to get better in sports the program goes through some quite famous athletes who were using steroids and were penalized some who apologized and It even touches on why people Might use steroids and the risks versus the benefits. It's a very interesting topic Yeah, well, I will admit I don't watch a lot of sports But I think you do Adam you're very involved in this This sort of thing not steroids Um But before we get into that I do want to say some of our listeners are listening on On our podcast and some are watching on YouTube and I just wanted to first of all say thank you to our YouTube members We do have Memberships on YouTube. So if you join as a member of the spotlight English Channel you do get some extra perks So those are like extra things that you can take advantage of The first level is just some badges and emojis But also we thank you by name in every program There's a special end card that comes up with your name on it And then as the levels rise you get more perks So you get everything from the first level and then you get a PDF of any script that you want one a month at our advanced level and access to Exclusive members only videos at the next level up you get a Personal video shout-out from us. You can actually pick Probably whoever you want on the spotlight English team to give you a shout out. Oh, I think they're all gonna pick me Yeah, maybe you'll all pick Adam. Yeah, that should be the ultimate like you get Liz at $10, but at $100 Adam will say your name And you get Adam But and then there's a there's a top level as well where you can get as many as five PDF scripts of any programs a month and also the special video shout-out access to exclusive members only videos and also access to our Facebook group where Adam and I will be talking with people so I Tell you about our memberships and a special shout-out to our three first members just this week if you are watching on YouTube You can go right under this video and there's a little join button and you can click right there to find out more And while you're looking at that if you haven't subscribed yet on YouTube, please just hit that subscribe button And the little bell so that you never miss one of our videos We have had a really busy week of videos and that is always really fun And be sure to check out this program sports and steroids That we are talking about in this conversation and so We're back to this conversation now, which is you did a wonderful segue. I've if only in life we could go I know right. It was so fancy. Yeah well, yeah, so you did a great job with that and but I Want to talk about steroids because I have been thinking I have thought probably more than you about steroids So yeah, steroids are obviously in the program. We talked about that the The medicine steroids does a lot of different things Right. So you might be prescribed steroids by a doctor because you need them for I don't know some part of your body, right and those that kind of Maybe you have an autoimmune or you have some kind of reaction. Usually they calm your your body's natural reaction We're not those are not going to give you make you super muscular and super Strong. Yeah, that's a medicine that your body needs. Yes And so what we're talking about is not having doctors for medical reasons to improve your health but to give you an advantage either in sports or recovery or muscle growth and most sporting associations Have say that you cannot use them. Like they are illegal for those those purposes. I Think if you don't mind Adam Like I think that's a really interesting thing. I guess maybe we'll talk about that a little later, but like Yeah, it the reason is that it just makes it Not as amazing when you would do amazing things or yeah, why do you think that is? Why do you think? Well, that like you shouldn't you shouldn't use steroids when you play football or whatever I think there is something in sports, which is Fair play which means that the result of your of your Practices and your hard work and you have to practice hard and work hard and put in the put in the time And that results in either a win or a loss or a good time on a particular event And I think there's something about taking Something that Gives you an advantage that doesn't that doesn't do that now It gets really interesting because of course there are a lot of things that give you an advantage that aren't available to everyone Certain sports you have to have equipment that maybe you can't afford Right there are if you live in at a mountain you get your body adapts to doing oxygen And they have special devices that People can use for that so there is a lot of It's not just what you put in your body, but it's kind of what else is available to you some of the Technology there a few years ago certain swimsuits and swimming events were they said they give people they made them too fast Really? Yeah, so they out the material of the swimsuit. Yes is It glowed it glowed it glided through the water Too too fast, so they weren't allowed to use that correct. They were used for a few years, and then they were not allowed Huh, so why wouldn't they just say that? Anybody can wear this is it just that it was very expensive or that people couldn't access it? Well, I'm I'm not entirely sure but I think with with some of that it was Well, all the world records were set without this now All of a sudden a new technology comes in everybody uses it and everybody just gets faster So how do you compare the same thing is true with running shoes? You could certain shoes are illegal Because they basically yeah, they basically Return a certain amount of energy Beyond what's normal, so if you have basically think of having springs in your shoes like almost like a cartoon like white like you're jumping along There was a there's a the two-hour marathon there was a very controversial point of whether those shoes Returned enough of the energy or not See, it's it's a super complicated thing. Well, okay, so we're skipping ahead a little bit because I and that's my fault my bad But that actually we talked about that a little bit at the end of this program after we have talked about Examples of people and steroid use There is an expert a doctor or a sports expert or somebody who basically says You know football players are wearing these special jerseys that you know reduce Wind friction or something. How is that any different than steroids? And so you're You're kind of making the point that they are the same. I I do think that They are the same in one way Yeah, in another way is the long-term health benefits can it can have side effects That's a very good point wearing a different pair of shoes Might make your your feet hurt or whatever But they're not going to have long-term side effects to your health or but playing professional sports can also have long-term side effects for your health Okay, so this is a little more complicated than Then I would have imagined because I know you have thought about it You do a lot of running and exercise right and I exercise but not Not in the in the way that you do Yeah, so you've run like 50 miles Trained for yes, I enjoy that in a different way than you right exactly um, but Yeah, I would never have Thought that this was such a complicated issue. So here here. Let me complicate it and make it personal to you Right. Okay, so stare steroids are a thing that give you an unfair advantage, right? But they do they do work if you if you do them correctly So you are someone who does not play professional sports does not even play amateur sports No, but let's say you could Get what you wanted.  I'm gonna be fit. I'm gonna do this Would you if you didn't if there were no long-term health benefits? Would you consider doing one of these things because you're not competing against other long-term health negatives negative like yeah, yeah Consonance side effects. Um, I don't know. I am a very Um, I was gonna say ethical person, but that might not be the right description Like I like to do the right thing and to me the right thing seems like not taking the steroids because Um Yeah, it would give an unfair advantage. I would feel like I had taken help on the other hand Uh, I mean sometimes I do take a protein powder. Yeah, which is you know, not a real food It's real food, but it's you know, you mix it into a drink or something And so is that is that cheating to get a lot of your protein in but who are you cheating? This is the thing and you're not in a competition Right, right So there is even in in um Powerlifting which is like how heavy of a weight can you lift? There's like two categories. There's like clean and dirty Really? Yeah, there's like there's like certain competitions that are under this banner that are like We will do anti doping testing and doping meaning using these various kinds of not just steroids And then there's like everybody's doing it. So how heavy can you lift? Yikes I feel like um, and maybe this is a judgment, but I feel like that would be the scary one Like I where I might walk in there and be like Whoa, yeah Yeah So you wouldn't you wouldn't use anything Uh, I mean, I'm never gonna say never But I don't think so. I think if you are watching this and you think Here's the question put in the comments Would you use not in competition? This is not what we're talking about to get an advantage Right, so your own personal life or your own personal life to say, you know what I'm going to um I'm just gonna I'm gonna get fit. It's gonna help me sleep better. It's gonna help me exercise harder Uh, what would you do? Would you you know, because we all You know Would you would just wear better clothes? Would you wear better shoes? Um, let us know because I don't really No one has come up to me. I've never I've never tried steroids or But I know that and when I was in high school people used creatine, which was something that is legal to use but Oh Hmm I don't know different things. Okay. Well, this is a real uh, this is a thornier question Then I thought it was. Yeah to be honest. Well, let's move to for before we end I really think one of the things that needs to be noted and it was noted in this program So if you've listened to it, you'll know this It's the it's the fact that this is um These are people who are taking a big risk By taking steroids if they get caught they often have multiple athletes athletes So like famous athletes like the people in the program like the football player and the runner Uh the runner Mm-hmm So they have huge they could get they could lose their job basically for their whole life or for just a few years Which is basically their whole life as an athlete But the the reason they do it is that the reward Is so hard to get that little competitive edge Right But then if you're found out you lose all that reward. There's such a huge risk to it The the example I think of was wasn't it uh, and maybe I'm gonna get in trouble if this is not right wasn't it like uh lance armstrong so one of the one of the um Consistent winners of all the bicycle races tour de France. Yeah the tour de France Uh one of the consistent winners wasn't he found uh doping. Yeah, and I feel like uh, I don't follow many sports So, uh, for me that felt so shocking You know to think I always thought wow He is just one of the best cyclists and well he denied it for a number of years It was like no no no no no right right and then to find out that like it was all a lie It was all doping and uh That for me is like that's the biggest example. I know of But yeah, you lose so much Well, I also think there is an element of um Let's do it Let's get a lot of money and then even if we lose our reputation then After a few years, we'll still have accumulated sponsorship money and you might lose those sponsorships eventually But your example lance armstrong still has millions of dollars Well, yeah, I guess maybe other people wouldn't uh save it as effectively. I know maybe not Maybe not you want you want to see him destitute you want to see him out on the street nothing Yeah, as long as you're not tiki steroids and spending all of your uh athlete money. Yeah I don't know yet. It is a thorny question I would be curious to hear what people think about this. Um, if you think Do you like do you know an athlete like not personally? But is there an athlete? You don't have to don't have to tell us their name Right. No, I don't mean personally But like if you know of an athlete who like like Lance Armstrong for me who you thought oh, wow, this is an amazing athlete and then maybe your opinion was Changed a little bit because of um You know finding out they use steroids. I would you know, I think that's interesting well, uh, this has been a far ranging conversation and I don't think I'm gonna end it by saying I don't think I would do steroids But I'm tempted. That's what I'll I think I think what's going on inside me I I don't think I would but I would be And I've already said I wouldn't oh, okay Uh, it makes sure that you check out that uh, the perks that are available by uh, youtube membership Also, make sure to check us out on facebook twitter and visit our website, which is spotlight english.com Uh, we have a lot of interesting content there Uh and like and subscribe Make sure you hit that little bell And until next time we hope you listen watch practice and learn spotlight out