If there are any who are thinking about giving up on the challenges of life, my message is every human soul is precious. My name is Nate Olson. My dad's an artist and he does a lot of Christian artwork. And so he had an idea for a painting called Lost and Found. And in that painting, there's Jesus sitting on a park bench with a teenager. But my dad chose a best friend Dan to be the model for that painting. Ever since, you know, 9th grade, I knew that he had struggles with depression. It was about 10 years after the painting was completed and released that Dan ended up taking his life. I think that I felt the full spectrum of emotions. At first there was sort of that shock, not knowing it's real. And then when it really hits you that, you know, that your friend's gone, you're not going to be able to see him and talk to him again. So I was upset that now I had to live with a lot of questions and wondering what role did I play in this and what could I have done better. I wish he would have given me an opportunity to sit on the bench with him and talk to him and to give me an opportunity to show him why I love him and why I need him and why I want him to be around for 50 years. The most common sources of pain for a person who's having suicidal thoughts include feeling disconnected from others, feeling alienated from others, or feeling that relationships have never materialized. The other common source of pain is feeling like a burden to others that people would be better off without me. When those are combined with hopelessness that this is not going to change, that is where suicidal thoughts become risky. So my name is Seth Adam Smith. I'm a writer and a blogger.  I never really recognized it for what it was, but around the time I was 20, my depression sort of collapsed on me and I felt like I was drowning. It got so severe that I didn't know how to escape it. I would close in on myself. I spent a lot of time alone.  I didn't know how to explain what was happening to me and when you're in that, when you're in the thick of it, it really just feels like you're the only one. Everything just came to a head one day and I looked at my life and I realized everything was just broken. I couldn't fix anything. I couldn't control anything. I just felt like all my life just spun out of control. I went to work. I clocked in for about 40 minutes. My brother Sean was one of my supervisors and left my cell phone there and left the office. I went home.  I had thought about it quite a bit. I would have died had my dad not received a phone call from my brother Sean and felt like he needed to come and find me. Waking up in the hospital was agony. And then they took me home and I remember my brother Sean put his arm around me and walked me into my room and laid me down on my bed. I remember waking up several hours later and Sean was still sitting there on the bed and I thought, maybe he's here because he thinks I'm going to try to take my life again or something. And I said, Sean, I'm alright. I just need to be alone right now. I said, you can go. And he was really quiet and he said, you know, Seth, I almost lost my little brother. So I don't think I'm going to go anywhere for a while. I'm just going to sit here with you for a bit. I think that was the first time that I recognized that there was a world outside of myself. I started to see that there were people outside of my own life that actually cared about me and that loved me and wanted to see me succeed and live and contribute to their lives and I hadn't been seeing that before. I realized he was going to get all that talking with my parents, with therapists and I realized he probably just needed someone just to hang out with. I took work off for a week and we just sat and watched movies and played games and talked about girls and if he wanted to talk about it he could talk about it. My family, they're not doctors, they're not counselors, they're accountants, you know. And I'm sure that they felt overwhelmed, you know, like we're not qualified to talk about this and we don't know what to say and what to do. But the mere fact that they reached out to me and love, that is what did it. Sometimes just sharing the load, being someone to sit with you. I mean my brother Sean hardly said a word, you know, he didn't know what to say but what he did, what my brother did is what changed my life. There is nothing more powerful than the arm of love that can be put around those who are struggling. That doesn't mean that you're going to be able to heal people but saying, you know, you need a little help. I think we can have an impact in guiding people to some of the resources that are available that they may have no idea exists. I say we keep our antennas up, we watch out for each other, we love one another and we leave the judgments, the eternal judgments to our Heavenly Father and to the Lord Jesus Christ who know all things.


Our history is rich. We come from a people that were warriors. Our land was staining. Our riches were stolen. And our culture was subject to banishment. Jennifer, are you nervous? Not really. Not really? Yeah. I mean, when I met Jennifer yesterday, she had been in cry, man. Meeting with Amaya for the first time. Yes. I've been watching my videos for so long. Since when? From China, I think 2015. 2015? Yeah. We were meeting for the first time. That was yesterday, not today. Yesterday she couldn't even get close to me. She was like, oh my God, that's what Amaya. I was like, someone please pinch me because it's a dream. It's a dream. But I have been saying that it's time for each and every African out there to be part of a solution. Yeah.  If you are watching this video, first of all, like the video and share the video. I mean, I have to create a channel for Jennifer so that when I live in here, Jennifer will continue telling you guys the story. Jennifer, some people don't know who you are. Yeah. So I ask you, who is Jennifer? What are you going to say? Oh, thank you, Amaya. Welcome to WadaMaya's channel. I'm so pleased to meet the whole WadaMaya. The Maya have been dreaming to meet and it happens all of a sudden. And I'm so glad to meet WadaMaya. I am Jennifer. As WadaMaya asks me of who I am to the subscribers. If you're watching, hi. Hello. I'm Jennifer and I can never tell you the full story of mine, but I will tell you a few about what happens to my life. I am very fortunate when I met a woman named Madame Don Sutherland and we started an organization called B2African Connection, which we showed you through BTSC, which we're working with many kids here. And then as I'm talking, we will show you the kids soon, but I'm going to tell you who I am. I am a girl that I lost my father at the age that I wasn't expecting. And I thought all of us were lost if I'm to speak honest. But thanks to her, she met me. She saw that something important that is in me, that I am living and I thought all is gone. I'm going to start a new journey, which is not the case. So she helped me out. And look at me now. I'm here. A testimony to everyone out here there. And I'm going to show Maya our amazing children that we started developing and we build. And we have many of them. We can't make them all here because there are many. And we have almost 300 kids that we have been supporting here. So Maya, are you ready to meet our kids? I'm really ready, but she is talking about a woman called Dawn Sutherland. She's an African American. And then she moved to Ghana to start the change that we are all looking for. I really want to meet your kids. All right, all right, all right. I'm ready to meet with Maya. And who Africans are? Let's go. Our history is rich. We want to go. Our history is rich. We come from a people that were warriors. Our land was taken. Our riches were stolen. And our culture was subject to banishment. We are chocolates. We are dark. We are rich in color. We are rich in nature. We try to destroy our people. They were guarded and taken across the rusty water to be torn apart, torn from one another, torn from their heritage. But today, we say, never again. We will never allow our land to be robbed. We are modern dark people. Our simple circumstances. We are rich again. Yes. We are educated. We are troubled. We are bold and righteous. We are bold. We are fearless. We are shameless. We will not go before anyone. No. We have wins. We have wins. Chocolate drugs can fly. And we will fly high and win. Forward ever, backward never. Welcome, Wadamaya. Thank you so much. They said, backward never, forward ever. Jennifer, let me understand. So you mean until Don Sanderland is taking care of all of them? Yes. She is taking care of all of them. And these are even the little minority of what we have in this house. Mostly when we host in the Christmas party or all the scholars that we have here, it's about 270. And as you can see, these dresses that they're wearing is one of Auntie Dawn's friends. Her name is Madame Mualimu Vamputi. She came with an idea that Ashe. Ashe is a Nigerian language which is good. And it is good for us to know our culture. It is good to listen and hear the wisdom of all the faith people that came to the land. And it's good to learn. It's good to understand. And it's good to grow. So she told her that if this is what they need to learn, we should also learn as well. Wow. So she came up with an Ashe. And Ashe is under a Pan-African culture celebration which is called Kwanzaa. And I hope you've heard about Kwanzaa. If you're African-American out there, I know you understand what I'm talking about. Kwanzaa is a Swahili phrase and it's a Swahili word which starts from the word. It means ya tunda, ya kwanzaa which is the first fruit that they've been celebrating by every African-American in abroad. And it started from the 26th of December to the 1st of January. Let me ask you. Do you know who an African-American is? Now I know. Before, did you know that? No, please. How many of you know who an African-American is? Before. Before? No. You all didn't know who an African-American is? Yes, please. Now, if I should ask you who is an African-American, what are you going to say? An African-American is just like me who has been taken from here to a land that they did not know. They have no idea where they've been going. They traumatized before they've been there.  You know, this is what comes closer to me. This is what I've been saying all the time. Like, most of us never knew our history when we were in school.  No, please. Distance cousin in another continent who never knew anything about it. That's what I've been telling people that don't blame us all the time. Like, let me tell you something. The first time I met an African-American, that was when I went to China. I didn't even know there was somebody called an African-American. So, I don't blame you. So has us. We.  That's Auntie Don't Saddle. Okay, so I just want to say thank you so much for talking to me. Who's going to take me there? We. Everybody, right? Welcome to you. I'm a very good-looking guy. Only today, I lost my face. Mommy Sanderland. It's nice to see you. And all of them are telling me great things about you. And I would love to speak to you in person. You're welcome to come and speak to me now. Thank you so much. All right. Thank you. Now it's time to talk to your mom. And I'll see you when I'm back. Thank you. Thank you, Maya. Oh, nice. But my name is Wada Maya. And we all know your name is Don Sanderland. Let me know why you moved to Ghana in the first place. And how long have you been here? Well, I've been wanting to move to Ghana since I was a sophomore in college. I came to Ghana, West Africa for the first time with Operation Crossroads Africa as a student volunteer. We were in a group of about 500 people from the U.S. going to different African and West Indian countries to do volunteer work. And when I set my foot in Ghana, I felt like I was home. I felt like I found the peace of me that was missing. And I've yearned to come back. And one of the things that hit me the most was that there were mostly white people in my group. And there were very few blacks. In my group itself, we had 30, and five of us were blacks. And I was wondering why all these white people come into Africa. And one of the things I learned is that they were more prepared for Africa than the blacks were. I was scared of lizards. I was scared of not bathing in the river. I didn't want to sleep outside. And white folks was fine. So I said, if they can do it, I can do it. But most importantly, a couple of my white friends in that group taught me how to collect African art. I didn't, I mean, I knew about art because we had art in museums in the U.S. But they were coming to Ghana to learn about our art and artifacts. And I was like, shoot, she said, Dawn, these things are worth a lot of money. And so I went with them wherever they went to try to figure out what they were learning. And I was amazed at our brass pieces that they found in villages, the wood carvings, which kind to collect, how you make sure they're aged, they're antique. And I learned a lot during our free time from my white friends. But what I also learned is that they were coming to Africa to give back. They were coming to build boreholes, to do things, which I knew that's what I was coming for, but I didn't know what I was coming for. I just wanted to go to Africa. So when we saw the science, when I saw the science at school, I was like, I'm signing up for this program. And one of my black history teachers encouraged me to sign up, and so I came. So I was building boreholes, but I was scared. But they were like, and so after the end of the program, I said to myself, if they can come back, why can't I? Because if our African people don't see people that look like them come in to help them, then we can't complain. And as I grew older, I'm like, why are we complaining that white people in Africa, Chinese are in Africa, we should be coming back. And so I literally lived my life wanting to go to Africa. Which year was this? 1977 is when I came. So I'm not going to try to, don't try to guess my age. I was a sophomore in college. 1977? Yes, way before he was born. I think my parents will know he didn't think about me. So since then, of course, I finished college, finished graduate school, and then I started working. I was fortunate to work for a company that was very, very progressive. And so I used my vacation every two years since 1995 to travel Africa. So I've been to 40 African countries. 40 African countries? I've traveled Africa. And my friends, we have the African Art and Artifacts Travel Group. So I would convince my friends to travel. And we would travel all over Africa collecting art and artifacts. So I have literally pieces that I've collected since 1977 to there. So I literally planned my life to move back to Africa. In 2006, about, I think, 12 of us came to Africa. We went to all my favorite countries. We went to Mali, Senegal, Gambia, traveled to Timbuktu. We went to South Africa. And then some of them left because they only had three weeks vacation. And a couple of us came back to Ghana. And when I came to Ghana, I said, guys, this is our last trip. I'm moving back. I'm going to plan to move back. I wanted to retire when I was 40, but I didn't. So I said, by 55, I'm going to retire. I'm going to take early retirement and I'm moving back. And so I said, I'm going to look for a house. And first I wanted a land to build a house. But a lot of my friends come here from Africa. And they've been building a house for years. And it doesn't get finished. So when I came back in 2006, I hadn't been to Ghana since 1998. And once I realized that Ghana was home for me, I felt at home with the people here. And I also did my DNA and I'm a con. So that made it even more. And I'm into art and culture. So I wanted to come to Kamasi. You mean you plan to move to Africa? Yes. I planned my life to move to Africa. I worked for a Fortune 500 company. I was the vice president of finance for all of western United States. And I had a great job. I had a beautiful home in Southern California in Los Angeles and Baldwin Vista Hills. I had great family, great friends. I literally did a lot of work in the community. But something was calling me to go back to Africa.  Oh, they told, they thought, my friends thought I had lost my mind. They couldn't believe that I was going to leave all of that. But at the end of the day, you know, as I was getting older, I wanted to make sure I had, I left so that I could have time to still have life and live a life in Africa. And I also was having a lot of expenses in LA. I mean, my mortgage was high. I mean, super, super high. My car note, my insurance. And I said, if I go to Africa, I can use this money, buy what I need, cash and live. And then give back somehow. At the time I said, I didn't know what I was going to do. But I knew I could live a better life. Everyone thought I was nuts because they didn't understand what I understood. But traveling here since 1995 and coming at 1997 and seeing how my friends were living, I'm like, it's the only place I can go and have me some help and a peace of mind. And so I did. So I moved from Los Angeles. I moved here. If you moved from Los Angeles to Kumasi, not even Accra, why are so many African-Americans relaxed time to move to the continent or even visit? Because they haven't visited and they don't know what we have. They've seen just what they see on TV and they're listening to someone else's story. But if they travel, most of my friends now for the last five years since I've been here, when they come, they want to move back. They are looking for land. They're looking for investment. Or they want to come for vacation. How many friends have they visited since you've been here? I've had over 600,000, 600 visitors since I've been here. 600? 600 of my friends or friends or friends, circle of friends and visited. And when they come, they want to help. If they don't help sponsor children, they help me to build a toilet. They help to build a borehole. They help to renovate a school. They help to build a library. They help clinic. We have a clinic that they help to build. So, and they help to do something. Sometimes we have to feed families. We have to pay for electric bill and they help me. There's one thing that you're doing. That's what brought me here about taking care of these kids. I just want to know what really inspired you to start something like this in here? You know, I always wanted to give back. And I wouldn't be who I was if I didn't have mentors. I had a lot of mentors. A lot of people who were white, black of all colors, women, men who took a liking to me, who helped me to focus on my history, understand where I came from and knowing that if I didn't know where I came from, I wouldn't get anywhere. And so, I wanted to help Africa. I always helped children in America. I was always volunteering in my community anyway. But I wanted to help Africa's children because I felt that if we help the children, we can help them to restore Africa as a whole. Ghana, but Africa as a whole. If we can help our children to want to like Africa, to learn about their history. It hurt me when I traveled and I saw the children, all of them want to go overseas. Mom, could you take me to America? Could you take me to the UK? And I'm like, but your country's beautiful. I want to come here and you want to leave. And I said, I'm going to figure out how I can help these children to learn where they love and learn about where they live so that they would want to be there. And so, when I came, really, when I moved here, I knew I wanted to do something. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I needed to rest first because I had a very stressful job and I wasn't feeling well when I came, I was sick. And so, when I came, I literally gutted my house, rebuilt it over and spent a lot of time healing myself and learning about the people. And as I would walk the streets and saw the children and saw their plight, how dirty they were, but they were still going to school, they were still happy. And they just wanted one CD, which at the time was a quarter. And I said, that's all you need to go to school? And I would literally, I wouldn't give them the money. I would go to school with them and ask the teacher, is it true that you sacked them? Meaning not getting them out of school? I said, because of one CD, yes, because they needed to pay this and they can't take the exam or they didn't pay it. And I'm like, shoot, so I started helping the children. And then some of them asked if I could be their friend.  Mom, you just want to be your friend. And sooner or later, culturally, you understand what it means. They just want you to help them. And they grew to about 12. And I said, OK, stop, I'll help you, but I wanted to figure out how I was going to help them.  And so they would, I told them, I asked them what church they went to, because they were dirty, so I knew on Sundays when they went to church, they'd be clean. And I said, well, after Sunday, come to my house. And I would, we would talk. And so they started coming to my house and they became the Sunday morning girls. And then, you know, as time went on, they would come and then a group of my friends from the African Focus group, which is a travel group that I'm a part of in Los Angeles, came to visit. And one of the women was a dancer, and she taught African dance in Los Angeles. And she says, Don, I would love when I come, if you can give me some children, that I could teach to dance so, you know, I could feel that I've danced on the continent and teach them something, and they taught me something. And I was like, where am I going to find dancers? And at that time I said I hadn't done anything. I was just beginning to do things in the community. And I said, huh, I could use my Sunday girls because they love to dance. And we were having a welcome dinner for them at my house. And I told the girls that they were going to be taught dances, etc. And the lady came and she taught them that morning. And by the afternoon, they entertained the entire group of visitors from the U.S. and everybody was so impressed with them. And my friend said, Don, what can we do to help? I was like, I don't know. And one of them said, Don, can we just sponsor a child?  Can I sponsor her? And it just clicked in my head. Let me just have my friends when they come sponsor if they want to. So you mean like the people that are taking care of their kids, they are you and your friends? Me and my circle of friends. And most of them sponsor the children. We asked them for $100 for the whole school year. And that not only takes care of their school things because most of the children that we sponsor go to government schools. And school is truly free in Ghana, but it's not free because they still have to buy uniforms. They have to get money to eat. They have to pay different fees because the schools are provided by the government but they don't maintain them. And the whole RJ of being in a government school. So a lot of them weren't going to school because their parents didn't have money to buy uniforms or didn't have money to send them a transportation or something. Embarrassed because their uniforms were dirty, whatever. And so that's what we started to do. So we feed them in all ways and we even give them personal clothes because a lot of their clothes is not up to standard. So my friends would send barrels for them with clothes and hygiene products. Deodorant. Deodorant soap. Toothpaste. Toothbrush. Because we found out that one family was using one toothbrush. I was actually part of that family too. We used to have only one toothbrush. I'm telling you. Just to confirm what you said because people will now understand my senior brother will finish. You'll be the third person to use it and give it to your sister. Just one toothbrush. When I heard that, I literally cried. I said one toothbrush. I said cry out to my friends. That was me before. So I definitely understand what you say. That's why I really wanted to do this story because I feel like the people that are here are living the life that I used to live. Because it took me to where they live. And literally that's the place that I was born. Something like that. I just wanted to say you did an amazing job. You built a library. You're not telling them that you built a library here. We built two full libraries in Ashanti region. We built a library at schools so the children can have books to borrow. So they can learn how to read story books. They can learn about other cultures. They can learn about life through children's stories. We built two libraries and all my friends are supporting the library. The library we built in New Coca Brico was built by Regina Latrice Bryant. And a good friend of mine. She loved books. She's a teacher. And she spearheaded that library project. We renovated schools. We built clinics. We built boreholes. A young girl. She's 30 now. She started when she was eight years old.  Because they're like me. She came and brought boreholes. Auntie Dawn, I want to sponsor 10 kids. Perfect. Personally. Thank you. So let me know what I'm supposed to do. I want to sponsor 10 kids. Me sponsoring 10 kids I know my subscribers out there. We are over 500,000. Almost 600,000. We are 600,000 subscribers. I am taking 10 kids. It's a must. And I'm just going to tell them it's by force. To, I mean, sponsor. So I need like, I'm one of you guys. So let's say I need 100 people. So I need 100 people. Give us a number. That 100 people will reach out to you and say that we are sponsoring 5-1. One child. It's okay. One child is enough. I'm going to take 10. All right. But we need like one. One. So 100. One, one, one. So we need 100 people. And all they have to do is give us $100. Fantastic. And the child, the entire needs of taking care. So 10 times 100. So I need to pay $1,000. Yes. Okay. Good. I'm going to give you the money. Please. There's so many people watching us. Why do you think they should help sponsor these kids? A lot of people think you have to be rich to help anyone. But you can start by helping in your community. But most of all, the children in Africa, one of the beauty of these children is no matter how poor they might be economically, they are rich in spirit. They want to learn. They are obedient. They don't cause issues. If you ask them to do something, they do it. They respect their elders. And they want to get out of their poverty state. And it's not because of anything other than the fact that their parents are born poor in the villages and they were farmers. And now they're trying to seek a better life through education. And you can do it by making your own legacy. You don't have to make millions of dollars. $100 is a pair of shoes for most people. And it's movie tickets. It's a meal. It's a hairdo.  You can see if you visit Africa, you can touch that child.  Because we as Africans in the diaspora in particular, because that's the bulk of the people that are watching this, if you feel that you want to be connected to Africa and you want to see Africa develop, we can only do it by changing and working with our children. We can teach our children to love themselves, love their history, love their country, so that we stop looking outside and saying, oh, the white people are coming, the Chinese are coming, the Japanese are coming, they're taking over Africa. No one has to take over Africa if you love yourself and you help the children to love their country so they don't have to run away from it to find better opportunities. There's lots of opportunities in this country and we can help our children to do that. And I would love for my diaspora, the diasporans who, whether you are at retirement age or almost ready to retire, don't just stop your chapter in the U.S. and just hang out. Come back, visit, travel and come back and do something. If you're young and you want to invest, you can come back and invest and develop something. Or you can just come back, visit and give back and make this place better for the young people so that we can help ourselves as a whole African diaspora.


RCA Victor, world leader in radio, first-in-recorded music and first-in-television, presents the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show. Your enjoyment here is the Phil Harris Alice Fay Show transcribed, written by Jack Douglas and Marvin Fisher, with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Janine Roos, and Whitfield, the orchestra under the direction of Skip Martin, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. Wherever you go, it's more fun if your portable radio goes along with you. So get it out and try it. If it doesn't sound quite right, you may need a new tube. Here's how to tell. Listen a moment. Does your portable sound like this? Does the volume rise and fall unexpectedly? Is there an annoying hum in the background? If your portable, or any of your radios, has any of these common symptoms, the trouble may be no more than a weak or worn-out tube. So let your local radio technician give your set a complete checkup. If the trouble is due to the tubes, you'll be glad to install dependable new RCA radio tubes. Experts will tell you, RCA tubes are made better, yet cost no more than ordinary tubes. So always ask for dependable RCA radio tubes in the red, white, and black cartons. Ladies and gentlemen, as a poet once brought to our attention, spring is the time when a young man's fantasy likely turns to thoughts of love. Of course, this not only applies to young men, it also applies to young sparrows, young frogs, young cats, and even to a 180-pound Saint Bernard like Phil Harris' dog, Herman. It was just about a year ago that Phil noticed Herman's strange actions. Phil and Alice were in the living room and they were talking about... You know something I can't figure out? What's the matter with that dog, honey?  But just look at him now. He's lying there on the floor in the heap. He just doesn't seem to be interested in anything. 180 pounds and it's all sad. See him quiet for a change. I love him, but he's such a clumsy ox. Every time you talk to him, he swings that tail like a baseball bat and breaks something. No, no, no, Alice. Look, I've been training Herman. I've heard him of that. Look, I'll show you. Now, don't, Phil, don't. If he wags that tail, he'll wreck something else. Honey, I told you I've cured him. Herman! See there? Now, watch this, honey. Hey, aren't you a good boy now, Herman? Aren't you a good boy? Well, aren't you, Herman? It's much better with that wall out. All this destruction is going to stop.  Look at that coffee table. What's wrong with it? It used to be a grand piano. Okay, okay, so the Steinway is on the floor. Don't bother me with inventesmo trivialities. I don't know what that means. I heard it on the McCarthy investigation. I'm worried about Herman. Oh, honey, if you ask me, I don't think there's anything wrong with that St. Bernard. Did you ever stop to think that it's springtime and Herman might just be in love? Love? Love? Oh, yeah, that's that Tony Curtis stuff, yeah. Yeah, hey, you might have an idea there, Alice. You know something I was thinking about taking him down to the vet and have an old Doc Cudson take a look. Hi, Alice. Hi, Curly. Oh, hello. Hi, Ellie. Hi, Ellie. May I ask what Audrey Hepburn and Slapsy Maxie Rosenblum were talking about this morning?  We've got a big surprise for you. You know, Audrey and I, uh, Audrey. Audrey and I thought that, uh, that Herman was sick, but we just found out what's wrong with him. He's got spring fever. You like that. Herman is only three years old and he wants to meet a girl. Well, what's so unusual about that, Curly? How long have you been noticing girls? Oh, I don't know how long they've been around. You know, Sutton, if you only asked me, I could have told you that your dog was, um, well, shall we say, desirous of cultivating the acquaintance of an eligible member of the opposite sex. How'd you know? I, uh, I surprised him one day. He had a magazine and he was clipping out the Arthur Murray coupon. Oh, Elliot, that's silly. It is not. He's taking up a dance called the Cocker Spaniel Crawl. This very interesting dance starts with a slow twitch, builds into a double twitch, so you can't stand it anymore, then you go nuts, wriggle around like crazy, and howl at the moon. People can do it too if they've got enough pleas. That was pretty funny, wasn't it, Curly? Huh? It was not funny. Give me the $5 funeral and I'll walk to the cemetery. I'll leave you two masterminds to work out Herman's destiny. Be in the kitchen if you want me. Yeah, see you later, honey. You know something, Elliot? What's that? I can't really blame Herman for wanting to get married too. You know, when I was a bachelor, I wasn't really happy. No? Monday night I'd have a date with a beautiful blonde, Tuesday a gorgeous brunette, Wednesday a luscious redhead, Thursday a blonde, Friday a brunette, Saturday a redhead, Sunday a blonde, Monday a brunette. Golly, Curly, how'd you ever meet so many girls? Well, it was on account of the place where I was living. One night I sneaked out front to the big YMCA sign and changed one of the letters. That's a pretty good joke if you're young and have time to figure it out. Second thought, if you're young, you don't have to figure it out. Curly, you really ought to do something about getting Herman introduced to some social set where he might meet some other dogs, among whom might be a prospective wife. Yeah, that's a good idea, because I guess I do. Oh, it's Herman. He's never asked for anything. Anybody home? I've brung the door to Harry. Oh, hi, Julius. Look, I'm sorry I made you make the trip over here. Herman hasn't been eating for two days. All right, easy, kid. That's my dog you're talking about. It just happens that right now Herman isn't hungry. Well, that big monster shouldn't be hungry. What do you mean? Well, you know how he always runs out in the street and chases Jaguars? Yeah? Well, yesterday he caught one. He did? Driver of the Jaguar. An awful way for Mickey Rooney to go. Very fun. There's nothing wrong with Herman physically, Julius.  Hi. Give you the hablin. Julius, I'll give you a little appropriate music on my kazoo. Thank you, Professor. Do you see what you guys are doing? You're getting Herman all upset. It's all right, buddy. It's all right. Sykes, why don't you stop? This St. Bernard is as intelligent as I am.  But Herman is a normal, healthy dog. Outside the buds are bursting into bloom. Love is in the air. Even the potato bugs are mashing it up. He needs a wife. Well, girl, St. Bernard, did you hear that, Herman? Thank goodness he didn't break anything this time. It's only water on the... This is where you've been hiding the Kentucky orange juice. And it has its problems. If I don't cover the bowl at night, the goldfish sing louder than the canary. Herman, how would you like to go with me and meet a good-looking St. Bernard by the name of Genevieve? Herman! Herman! I'm supposed to put the leash on you. Come on, Elliot, let's go. Keep it gay, keep it light, keep it fresh, keep it fair Let it bloom every night, give it room, give it air Keep your love a lovely dream and never wake it up Make it happy and be happy as you make it Let it sing like a nightingale and make it gay Keep it free or you'll frighten it away Take it easy and enjoy it while you take it Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay Keep it gay, keep it light, keep it fresh, keep it fair Let it bloom every night, give it room, give it air Keep your love a lovely dream, make it happy and be happy as you make it Let it sing like a nightingale and make it gay Keep it free or you'll frighten it away What's the place right here? Hey, gee, Curly, I didn't expect 705 Park Plaza Drive to be a mansion like this. Yeah, man, this Peabody Day must be filthy with loot. Look, she's got a swimming pool shape like Liberace. How do you do? Oh, oh, uh, hi, uh, I'm Phil Harris. Yes, I know. You're the two gentlemen who are to be interviewed by Mrs. Peabody in regard to the eligibility of your St. Bernard as a possible fiance for her dear Genevieve. Well, yes, I guess you could put it that way. By the way, this is Herman, my St. Bernard right here. My word.  Just take the first door to the left. That's the library. Mrs. Peabody will meet you there. Okay, thanks. You wait out here on the porch, Herman. Oh, boy.  I haven't seen so many books since they looked up your record at the parole board. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's pretty bad. Now, look, Elliot, sir, when Mrs. Peabody gets here, I want you to at least... Well, well, well, how do you do? I'm Mrs. Peabody. How do you do? I'm Mr. Harris and this is Mr. Lois. How good to meet two fellow dog lovers. I hope you appreciate them as much as I do. I always try to spread the word that a dog is man's best companion, man's faithful friend. A dog can give you love, affection, devotion. If a man has a good dog, that's all he'll ever need. Wait till DiMaggio hears about this. Say, we were looking at all of your beautiful trophies and pictures around the room here. It sure seems like you're quite a sportswoman, Mrs. Peabody. Oh, yes. I have pictures taken with all my little four-legged friends. You see, I have greyhounds, afghans, chows, poodles, collies, and here, here, gentlemen, is a picture of me taken with my two hunting dogs. Yes, I see. Which one's her, curling? The one with the bird in her mouth. Mrs. Peabody, now about my dog, Herman, I suppose you want to know all about him. Yes, but first, Mr. Harris, I'd like to know a little bit about your background. You see, I'm a charter member of the Wilshire Country Club, the Bel Air Golf Club, the Mayfair Meadowbrook, and Kensington Riding Club, the Palm Springs Thunderbird Golf and Country Club, and the Balboa Yacht Club. Now, would you mind giving me a list of the social organizations you belong to? Well, I'll go put a couple more nickels in the parking meeting. Wait! Well, you look, Mrs. Peabody, remember that Herman's not even asking for a dowry from Genevieve. I appreciate that, Mr. Harris, but Genevieve is no ordinary Saint Bernard. Listen to her pedigree. She's from Shropshire Ladd by snow crest out of Dutchess Helga III. Now, what about Herman's background? Oh, he's from Rhine Gold King out of Big Foam by Waddle-Uha. Well, I'll look it up later in the Kennel Guide. I'm sure Herman's all you say he is. Well, that'll be wonderful, Mrs. Peabody. I'll leave Herman's suitcase right here. It contains his toothbrush, and, well, I put a box of chocolate-covered liverwurst to help them get acquainted. Somebody's at the door. Yeah, I heard it. Herman! Herman! Herman, I just left you not five minutes ago at Mrs. Peabody's. What are you coming back here for? And where's your suitcase? It's right here, sir. Mrs. Peabody said to inform you that she couldn't get Herman to look at even a picture of Genevieve. Really? Yes. When Mrs. Peabody tried to introduce Herman to his prospective bride, he fainted three times. Good day, sir. Alice, did you hear what he said about Herman? I'm ashamed of him. Oh, Phil. He was just introduced to Genevieve, and he fainted three times. What about it? When you were introduced to me, you fainted five times. I fainted four times. The other time I leaned on a wall that wasn't there. I was excited. I had on my dark glasses, and I thought you were glorious, swanson. Give Herman a bad time just because he's slightly naive. Look, Alice, would you mind stepping out of the room for a few minutes? I'm sure that I know how to handle this situation. Would you please? Herman, I think you'd better sit down for this. Let's see now. I want to put this just right, Herman. Look, there are two kinds of people in the world, boys and girls. Do you understand, Herman? Good, good. Now, this is true of all mother nature's creatures. Herman, you see, there are boy and girl animals, boy and girl fishes, and even boy and girl flowers. Now, let's take the flowers, for example. Let's say there's one called Danny Daisy. Now, he thinks all the flowers are Danny Daisy's until he looks over one day and sees Dorothy Daisy. Well, right there and then he flips his paddles. You see, he's never seen anything like Dorothy Daisy before. She's lovely. She's gorgeous. She's beautiful. She uses vigor all. You see, the point I'm making, Herman, is, well, you might find Genevieve just as attractive. You might like Genevieve just as well. So look, Herman, I'm going to send you back to Mrs. Peabody and give you one more chance. And believe me, Herman, you'll thank me. You'll never regret me. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we ask your indulgence while several months pass by and at last, the big day dawns, the day of the blessed event. We take you now to the waiting room of the maternity ward of the Encino Cat and Dog Hospital. Curly, we've been patient up and down here for five or six hours. I'm getting tired. Well, I'm worried about Genevieve. I'm worried too. I'm worried too.  You're only the father. You'd better save some of that energy.  Okay, then just keep quiet a minute and I'll tell you. Herman, as you travel down Life's Highway, remember this. It's not the man that you are outside. It's the man that's underneath. And the man worthwhile is the man who can smile with friendly credit tea. That's pretty good. Oh, hello, Dad. I came right over soon to heard the news. Well, that's very nice of you, Dad. Glad to have you. That's all right. You know, being here in this hospital reminds me so much of the time when you were born, son. Dad, how can you say a thing like that? This is a dog hospital. No, son, don't be a snob.   Oh, hit him at a dad. No, that's not my baby picture. That's a picture of Mount Shasta. Oh, that's you. You're under there somewhere.  Dad, didn't you tell me that Phil was born while you and his mother were still on the road? Yeah, that's right, Alice. We were with a traveling carnival. You know, I don't think people in show business should have children like that. What do you mean, Mr. Harris? Well, my wife and I used to travel from town to town in our little automobile. We didn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby. We didn't know how to mix a baby's formula. We didn't know how to give him his bath. We didn't know how to warm his bottle. Well, what about... Oh, the automobile club was wonderful, son. They used to change you in the front tire at the same time. Yes, yes, Dad. Hey, wait a minute. What happened to Herman? Where'd he go? I think he wanted to be near Genevieve. He went through that door quite a while ago. He did. Well, then, I'd better go out there and see what's happening. I can't stand the suspense any longer.  Those puppies ought to be beautiful. Oh, yeah.  Folks, it's happened. Letting pandemonium rain. Let the joy ring out. It's a great day for singing a song. Oh, the heavens say, Phil, what? What happened? What happened? We've got ten gorgeous St. Bernard puppies, and Genevieve is in there passing out cigars. Genevieve is passing out cigars? Yeah, Herman may be dumb, but he can sure keep a secret. Well, don't stand there, Clyde, run out and buy Herman a silk nightgown. Back in just a moment. It's amazing what magic things push buttons perform for us every day. Push a button and a light goes on. Push another button and music fills the room. Push still another button and the top of your convertible magically lifts and you bask in the warm sunlight. There are some days, though, when basking in warm sunlight is just about the last thing you want. Hot, humid, muggy days when you long for another kind of magic push button that will let you enjoy cool vacation weather. You'll find that magic push button, several of them in fact, on the new 1954 RCA air conditioner. Magic vacation air right in your own home. RCA's wonderful climate tuner has just that kind of push button controls that let you select perfect indoor comfort. The climate tuner has a thermostat control, too, for constant, even comfort on days when the weather changes suddenly. And the RCA air conditioner is quiet as a sleeping baby. That's because of the wonderful hush-a-bye fans that push the air in a cool, even flow through your room and let you sleep undisturbed on even the hottest summer night. The permanent type aluminum mesh filter in the RCA air conditioner lifts out as easily as you change your record on a phonograph. And it's cleaned and ready for use again in a matter of minutes. Plan now to live better, work better, and sleep better this summer with an RCA air conditioner. And for the finest in service and installation, get an RCA factory service contract, too. How do you like that, Alice? After thinking that Herman's name was Herman for all that time, and then we find out that his real name is really Henrietta. Weren't you surprised? Did you ever suspect it? No, I didn't, but I really should have been suspicious because come to think of it, he was the only dog on our block who chased cars with one hand on his hip. Good night, folks. Good night, everybody. Included in this program, transcribe, are Gloria Gordon, Vance Colvik, Dick McGrath, and Bill Johnstone. Part of Julius was played by Walter Tetley. Do you know this music? It's Pomp and Circumstance. Listen. That beautiful, familiar music is from Arthur Fiedler's 25th anniversary album issued by RCA Victor. This long-play album brings you a cavalcade of the 16 most popular recordings made by the Boston Pops Orchestra over the past quarter of a century. Listen to this wonderful new orthophonic high-fidelity album at your dealers now. Arthur Fiedler's 25th anniversary album by RCA Victor. NBC Radio Network Presidency Here's John Cameron Swayze on the news tonight on the NBC Radio Network.


Hi everyone, Dr. Sol here. We're going to have a little discussion about ariola reduction. A lot of people I know get the procedure that they call scarless breast lift, but you're dealing with so many lines of tension that over time the ariola expands. Just remember a lot of the pictures they show you are right after surgery. They're not pictures from two, four, six, eight years follow up. Over time the scarless breast lift is going to expand. Very few have I seen that have not expanded. Let's go over some. Here's our patient we had a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I'm going to show you the new ones and we'll see some older ones. Look at the ariola over time it's expanded. What happens is as you breastfeed and you get bigger breasts, the ariola, the skin is thinner and it's more susceptible to expanding than the rest of your tissue. So here we can see the ariola expanded. So what did we do for this lady? What we did is we brought the height of the ariola here, we put the nipple here, we reduced it, we took out the excess skin. This came to this point, this point came to this point and we took off the excess skin. So this is the result of it. So what happens is that the tension goes to this line and this line. If we would have just done a circular reduction, what happens is two things. One is that this suture line is very thinned out. So what happens is over time it will stretch because the tendency of the skin is to go back to where it was. So it will stretch back to where it was before. The way we did it, we put the tension of the scars on these suture lines rather than on a circular tension where it re-expands to the initial phase where the patient has it in. Here's the lateral. In addition, when you do get the lift correctly with the inverted T is that we utilize your tissue and bring it up here. So it's right up here. The tissue that's down here is transferred up here. Look at how beautiful that looks. The patient couldn't believe that she didn't have an implant. She said, I feel it looks like implant, but it's actually her own tissue. Here's another view at it. You can see how beautiful it looks. Look at that slope coming down. Here is coming down in the cross, but here you can see the fullness, all the utilization of the tissue up here. Here's another patient that had the same problem. The patient had a huge areola. She had a scar done. She had bad scarring and everything. We reduced her areola. We put the tension in the right phase and her results look great. Here is another picture of her. You could see the tension is put on this scar and this scar rather than on the scar here where you could see her areola is huge rather than here where it's adequately between 40 to 42 millimeters. So this is a patient. This is a patient from eight years ago, maybe nine, where she came in. She had a procedure done. They told her it was going to be a scarless breastlet. She came to me eight years ago and she looked as such. You could see again, you could see the little tension, line of tensions because the areola skin is thin and just let's go and expand in all directions to accommodate the tightness. So you could see it's just stretching and it's getting and over time it just gets larger and larger. Here's our patient and I've seen her recently and she still has great areola because again the tension is put on the vertical and horizontal aspect of the scar. So this does not expand. The skin does not pull it in different directions. So you could see even after eight years she still has a beautiful result and she does have an implant. This is not her own tissue. This is with implant and she looks great and super happy. Thank you for sharing your time with us.


We had some trash talk in the handshake line after a tournament game. Let me introduce you to all the main characters of the video before I get into it. We got Hailey Van Lith. She played all 40 minutes of the game. She went nine for 15 from the field, three assists, two steals, 21 points, had a good game, crushes tournament games. This is her brother, Tanner. He's clapping. This is her dad. Woo! This is her coach. Hell yes!  Clapping, clapping, clapping. This is her adversary, Sonya Morris on Texas. And in this game, she finished the game with two points, zero rebound, zero assist, zero steal, zero blocks, in 11 minutes. She bumps into her here, and Van Lith's gonna give her a look like, okay. And then Louisville wins really easily, buy a lot. So they go to the handshake line coach. That's a great game. Hey, hey, good job. Play well, good job. Great game, great game. And then Van Lith's gonna come. And the first one up is Morris. And Morris is gonna stop her and be like, I got something to say to you. It was an honor to play against you. Can't wait to face you next year. Good luck the rest of the way. No, no, no.   Oh, I bet.  Not a positive, that's what she says at the very end, but it really looks like that. Also, my buddy, Joe, is saying pop all the time now.  But could be something else. Anyway, what you missed in the background is her teammates staring daggers. It's like, what's going on? What is this? Are we gonna step in? So when Morris turns, she's got people waiting for her. Like, what was that about? What are you talking about? So good teammates just helping out. A lot of people thought she was saying honorable mention, which is bringing up something in the past, but she's not saying that.   Oh, I bet.  She goes into the teammates we're standing up for. Haley's gonna continue the high fives, bad high five there, sloppy all around. Kind of went to slingshotting on it, finishes strong, stays with it, goes down the whole line. Then she sees her coach who's running. She said, whoa, coach, coach, coach. And where's he going? Oh, no, he's just celebrating. He's oblivious to what's going on. Kind of sitcom dad vibes from the coach. Like you think he's running to break up the fight. No, has no idea what's going on. He's just happy and smiling.


So, hello everybody and welcome to our next class of Marriage and Family. We are into our third week of our class and due for the next lecture. So the last time that we started off, we have had an exciting start, exciting discussions. The last time we did talk about specific areas of preparation that we need to be ready before we consider marriage. We did look at seven specific areas, we ran through them, but I think before we get going into our next section, I would like a few of you to maybe give me your thoughts about what were some of the areas that we covered, some key learnings that you took away, some key learnings that you have decided to probably start working, whether you're married, whether you're unmarried, either of them. So quickly, maybe the first two, three minutes just for a essential recap for all of us as well as for those who are in our e-learning portal as well. Yes, maybe would like to hear people who've never spoken up until now, would be great to hear you as well. What were some of the areas we spoke about for preparation and any key learnings that you took away, which you are able to apply in your life right now? We need an opening batsman. Thank you, thank you, yes, yes. The key things that I started learning on from last lesson was one was becoming the best I can become to prepare for marriage. And second one is emotional health. So it's good if I'm at my best, so that's when I meet someone else or when I start living with my wife, all the emotional baggage I took from my past, not past life, but growing up with the last 30 years, it doesn't cause problems in the future. And the third one was personal management, how I manage my time, how I manage my finances, how I manage my household, even though I'm still single, how do I manage my house? Is it a mess or yeah? And the fourth one, I think those relationship skills, we need to improve on our relationship skills because it's to be disastrous if we're going to marriage, if we're going to marriage and our relationship skills are not there. So people will, it will be trouble. And the fifth one is overcoming the past abuse, things that's happened in the past, we should resolve those before we go into relationships or marriage. Thank you. Thank you so much, Mangi, you bought the first five points up beautifully. Thank you so much. Okay, we have two more points, anybody would like to bring that up. So Kennedy has said money matters and faith related issues, okay. Anyone else? So I think Kennedy has bought about one more point. So there was one last point that was, that needs to be covered, which we covered anyone else who remembers, jog your memory, anybody? Last one point, you have the notes in front of you and a quick run through of your notes would be great, you know, like a recap, like we would do in school, you know, when the teacher asked for a question, there's a book under the desk and you quickly look up and say, okay, I think I got my answer. So that's fine. You can do that too. No? Okay. So the last point, communication as being a backbone. Okay, great. This comes as a part of, part of relationship skills, yes. And the one last point that maybe we haven't covered, chastity, okay. So it's being sexually pure and, you know, purity before we consider marriage in the way that we consider our sexual appetites, our sexual thoughts, our sexual actions, being free from addictions as well as making a commitment to be, to stand in purity before the Lord, confessing any form of sin in that area so that we can, we can walk into marriage free. Thank you. Thank you very much. Okay. So today we are going to be going into our next portion again, an extremely exciting part of the course, especially for those who are not yet married. And so, so again, for those of us who are married, continue to stay married. And even if you do find certain situations that may not be probably, you know, certain recommendations or certain, certain principles we are, we are bringing up, let's look at improving ourselves within the marriage that we are in. Okay. So our topic for today is making a choice. How do we make a choice when we would, when we are considering marriage? So what this chapter looks into is certain practical and biblical guidelines as you go about choosing a partner. Now even as there are so many of us from different cultures, from different places, the methods that we may use may vary across cultures. So the context in how marriage takes place in how we make those choices can differ depending on, on the culture. So across cultures, we are, we understand that it can be different. And we also know that we may not all be in a situation to have an opportunity to apply all of these principles because there could be different factors that affect the choices we make. It could be factors considering, you know, the homes we are in, maybe it could be parental influences, it could be societal influences, it could be cultural influences. So it could, there could be certain constraints. And as a result, what we would, you know, if you find yourself in a position like that, allow the Lord to lead you and trust that the Lord will do what is best for you as you make that, as you make some of those decisions. Okay. Because we do understand that in some cultures, you may not have the freedom to choose your own partner. And you know, there may be, maybe a lot more of parental decision making that happens in that. So if that is so, and, and, you know, you respect that culture, we want to help you see that leave it to the Lord and the Lord will guide you, I mean, speak to the Lord about it and He will guide you through that. Okay. So we're going to be looking at some principles of, you know, how can we, can we make a choice? So I think for those, maybe we can begin by starting, you know, for those of us who are married, how did you make your choice of, of marrying the person you have married? And I'm sure we'll get some funny answers to, but, but that's okay. We're, we're learning together, we're, we're understanding, we're supporting each other, we're learning from our mistakes for the younger people who are yet to get married. Yes. So how did some of you make your choice? Samuel, they're all waiting to hear from you. Thank you. Well, one is, I think got married at an early age, I mean, I was what 26, I think, 26, 27. And I didn't prepare, well, I didn't have right guidance, but how did, how did I determine I think I just knew it somewhere. I don't know that I can't define it, but I just knew that I had to marry this person that I had met, that I had been seeing and, and yeah, we just decided to get married. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Anybody else? How did you make the choice of getting married to the person you're married today? Brother Charles? Oh, you're asking Brother Charles to speak. Okay. I thought Brother, hope you're not married, right? Hope you're, that's why you're so excited about this class. I can share mine. Can you hear me? Yes, Shay, I can hear you. Who, who is asking, who is asking me? Hope is asking you, Charles. Okay. So for me, I would say, I came out of a relationship. You go. Which was, which was supposed to lead to a marriage and that didn't work. So I just came out of it with just the focus, just to concentrate on myself, to build myself and get closer to God. But there was a, there was a friend who I'm married to now. We were always talking to each other at the point we kind of got communication. Then later on we, we started communicating. But a day came when I realized that within me I had this impression that there was more to our relationship than just we being friends. So I decided to take it to God in prayer. We did some days to really stick the Lord because I wanted to be sure that this was the right person. So I prayed about it and I was convinced and fully convinced that she was the one. And then yeah, that was how I found out that she was the one just going to God in prayer and seeking his face. Thank you, Shay. Thank you. Yeah. So Kennedy says he made a choice because he loved her dancing style and beauty. Wow. Amen. Okay. Anybody else? Anyone here made a choice because their parents made the choice? Anyone here? Okay. Or any other reason? Yes, Charles. Charles, I am not able to hear you. Answer? Can I answer? Yes, Charles. Yes, you may. Yes. Yes, you can answer. Yes, Charles, you may answer. Charles, we're not able to hear you. Maybe you could put it up on chat because. You can't hear me. You can't hear me? You can't hear me? Okay. Yes. Can you hear you now? No, you can't hear me. I'm honored that the hands are closed. Yes, you can hear you now. They are going to affect the cause of my voice. Okay, go ahead and say yes. Me, I loved. I loved the way she spoke and I loved the way she did her work. Okay. Thank you, Charles. Hope I hope you got your answer from Charles. Okay. All right. So let's look at certain biblical practical ways that we can make a choice. So again, hope pay good attention. The way she spoke and the way she did her work. Okay, I think Nisha has written something. Thank you, Charles. Thank you, Charles. Okay. So Nisha says she had come out of a bad relationship and wanted to straighten her life. She decided to marry due to her parents' pressure. I made a choice to marry my husband. Would me so much. I was totally stricken. Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Nisha. Great. Okay. So let's look at some ways of what are certain things that we really need to consider. So one of the important things as you consider marriage is to understand whether there is the principle of agreement coming together in the principle of agreement. So if you want to look at scriptures, certain scriptures that comes out where, and I'm just going to name a few in Genesis 2.24, where we've spoken about this, where we said, where the verse says, therefore a man leaves his father and mother and raises his wife that they become one flesh. Okay. So the principle of agreement there or in Amos 3.3, it says that if two people don't walk in hand, hand in hand, they aren't going to go anywhere. Okay. There again, there's a principle of agreement or in Mark 3.25, it says a house that is divided against itself will not stand again, a principle of agreement. So when we're looking at a principle or a place of agreement, we are essentially looking at where we can be compatible. So what is compatibility? Compatibility is a place or an ability to exist together in agreement. Okay. So existing together in agreement, it is being yoked together. That's what we talk about being placed in agreement. It is to come to a place of understanding that despite the fact that there may be differences, we work together and we take that as an opportunity to work together. So our differences don't divide us, but it unites us to help us to grow together, to help us to work together in our life ahead. So remember marriage is not only about finding the right person, but it is also about working together in agreement. Okay. So when we look at marriage, we are looking at the union of two different individuals, but a union of three of our realms or our entities, that is our body, our spirit, as well as our soul. And that's what we need to look at to specifically see if there is a place of compatibility. So we're going to be defining four specific realms or areas of compatibility that we look into. Firstly, physical, that would consider the body. Then emotional and intellectual, which will bring about the soul. And spiritual compatibility, which brings about the spirit. And lastly, what our purpose or our direction in life needs to be. So remember once again, compatibility does not mean that you find the exact replica of you. And that's what I do see in counseling over years. People come in for counseling and say, we just figured that we are not compatible. Actually, if you look at it, you will not find an exact replica of you that actually matches you word by word. And that's not what we are looking for. It is compatibility means an ability or a place or a principle of agreement that you're willing to walk in as you are joining in together. So that there is unity and strength in that relationship. So when we're looking at these areas, we're going to be looking at four areas of compatibility. So the first area that I'd like to look at, we'll start with the most important one for, you know, as we see people, you know, that may appeal to your senses. As one is, yes, of course, the physical compatibility. Now, it is important to be attracted to one another. It is, you need to be able to appreciate and like each other physically. Now, this is something that needs to be considered. And there is absolutely nothing wrong in being excited about the beauty and the appearance of somebody. Okay. And like Kennedy said, he appreciated the beauty and there's nothing wrong with that. Just that it needs to have its rightful place and shouldn't be the core reason or decision making factor for choosing the partner. That is not the, the cover is not the only criteria. There is a lot more under the cover, right? But of course, you should be attracted. You should be, you should like the physical appearance of the person. And I, like we said, there's nothing wrong with it. The next area would be, of course, the emotional or the intellectual compatibility. Now, like we spoke about earlier as we were talking about preparing for marriage is that we connect to people, whatever our relationships are, we connect on the level of the soul. Our minds connect together, our emotions, the way we decide, the way that we reason out, the way that we think. That's what brings about a connection with people. So in marriage, it is necessary to look for that ability to connect to the soul, that is the mind, the will, the emotions, the reasoning part of it, the intellectual part of it. So some questions that you really need to check is, when I talk to this person, am I able to relate to them emotionally and intellectually? Are we at the same wavelength? Do we have common interests of topics that we can converse in? Are there specific areas of interest that we can share, we can relate to each other, we can enjoy with each other? Even as we relate these topics, is there something that there seems to be an understanding to it? Is there a respective difference of opinions that may come about? So that's on the intellectual level. On the emotional level, is the person, are we able to understand each other's emotions? Are we able to understand the kind of emotions that rises within us as we relate to others? Are we able to sort out differences and emotionally be mature in the way that we relate to one another? So you're specifically looking at a maturity in a level of emotions, as you're relating to one another. Like for example, let's say you're relating to someone, and someone is emotionally very mature, and someone who isn't, right? And there, of course, you will definitely see the differences in the way that they work together in these emotions. Now, so let's also be careful to know that in your initial times of understanding each other, and I think Sam brought up this question, you will not really be able to know everything about the person or the way that they emote at your very beginning. But that the start in itself is good. There should be at least some kind of a point or a common ground in how you relate to one another. So something that I do keep telling my young people who do come to get married is, ask hypothetical questions and find out how would they, how would they emote at a time like that? How would they relate? What kind of a decision would they make? What happens? Because you kind of get some kind of a rough idea about how they emotionally work. So ask those questions, bring up hypothetical questions, maybe things that you've seen around you. Bring that up and find out if something like that were to happen. What would your response be? And it really helps to give you an understanding of their emotional place. So like I want to reiterate again, now some of us who may be married may realize that there may be incompatibility in this area. Now, please do not use this as an excuse to keep away, rather see the difference and maybe if you need to get help to work on this specific area of your life, go ahead and do that. Ask for the Lord's help and wisdom as you deal with these emotional differences that you may see. The third level important is to be in a state of spiritual compatibility. So one of the markers that we need to understand is that it's not just sufficient to be believers or those who are in the Lord. While it is of course absolutely necessary, we also need to take it a step higher to see if as believers you hold a similar commitment or a similar discipline or a similar passion in your walk with God. And to find out maybe a simple question like if God calls you, where do you think God is calling you to? Or if you were to call you to something quite contrary to what you're doing, what would your response be? What are your emotional time like with the Lord? How much of scripture do you learn? What kind of service are you at your local church? Now these are important questions to us because considering that two people having two different ideas about what kind of spiritual involvement they need to have and coming to a place and seeing that maybe one is strongly devoted, the other is mediocrity in their devotion, there can be a sense of an incompatibility or a sense of mismatch. So ensuring, asking those questions and finding that out. Again, that even if for those of us who are married, if you're in a place, you do find incompatibility, the same principle holds, please continue there and patiently work through this. The last one of course is your compatibility in life's calling. So a very important area of compatibility is life's calling. In to understand what do you think you should be doing in your life, maybe five years, 10 years, 15 years down the line. Although we may not all know everything about what our future is, but there needs to be a sense of recognition that this is what God has called us, called me to pursue. So for example, and I do see often there are times that when couples do come, it's not thought of and it's fine and they may take some time to think of, but that's very important to discuss and to bring about so that both the man and the woman in the relationship is aware, because one may be very clear about what they're calling in life needs to be. They probably have it understood and charted out and they would want to pursue it and is looking for a partner who will support and help them through that while also giving them the freedom to move into their own calling. But when people do come together, it is fairly necessary to understand if there is a calling that the other person is. Else what happens is there is dissatisfaction. It can result in a marital conflict. So these are four broad areas that you can look into and something that you need to take time to discover, to understand. And that helps of course as you communicate, as you watch the person, as you get reports maybe from others, understand a lot more about their lifestyle. So a lot of these are certain principles that you can use as you. As you're looking in for a partner. Now as we understand this, it's also important to watch out for some signs that may be like red flags. It is important to look for them. It may not come out just like that without you actually asking them. And some of these and what are these warning signs and why is it important? Because these warning signs could be potential conflicting areas that may rise up in marriage. And it is important to address these areas before marriage. So when you make your choice, I think there's something that we need to keep in mind that there are two areas of our mind that may be in conflict. One is our emotions and one is our head or our thoughts or our reasoning. Very often in love a lot of people go by emotions or are blinded by their emotions. But to set back your emotions and begin to reason, begin to understand, begin to tease out is very, very important. So being careful not to be overwhelmed by your emotions and being blinded at the signs that may be steadily at your face. And a lot of that, I have very many examples of people, young people who've got into marriage, being unyoked and feeling that it is God's calling for them to save the other. That only if they do married, do they get married, will they be saving the other person or it's up to them for the salvation of their souls. Now that's being blinded and that's being, you haven't reasoned out, understood, excuse me, the knowledge of God's will, which is very clear in scripture that says, do not be yoked with an unbeliever. So that is one of the examples of being extremely overwhelmed by an emotion. Another area could probably be, especially when people are steeped in addictions and maybe a believer may probably steeped in addiction. And one of the partners feel that it is again their calling to free them from that, to break their chains. There again, not being overwhelmed by emotion, but reasoning out, seeing if the person is going through a restoration phase, is going through a place where they are able to change certain things. So here are some things that you need to consider, what are some of the warning signs. So first and foremost, I believe it's a lack of preparation. For someone who is going to be married, how much are they actually preparing for them? Are they only looking for the Mr. Perfect or Miss Perfect? Or are they doing their preparation and working on themselves knowing that they are an equal contributor into that union? So is there a lack of preparation? And consider these seven areas that we spoke about and find out if there is a lack of preparation. If there isn't a knowledge of it, I'd say give them a copy of this and say, I'd like you to read this and maybe let's work it out together. So yes, a lack of preparation. The second could be the certain signs of immaturity. When you assess the person, do they seem responsible enough to take up this responsibility of marriage and family to be able to lead a home either as a head of the family or as a helper of the family, wherever their roles are, I mean a man or a woman, whatever their roles may be, is there a sense of maturity in the way that they are looking at this phase? The third is, are there any kind of weaknesses in their character? So we need to understand that sometimes there can be certain serious weaknesses, they may be into big addictions, multiple relationships, maybe certain emotional issues that can be issues in staying put in a job, it could be issues in their attitude. So are there specific character weaknesses that could be detrimental to the marriage? The fourth one is a sense of parental control when you're looking at, so something that is very strongly seen in the culture that I grew up in, you're just not getting married to a person, you're getting married to a family. And sometimes I think that's quite true in the culture that I'm in, because everything seems a lot more intertwined and enmeshed in the culture I'm in, that just marrying the person is not enough, but also looking at what the family is. So what are certain signs that you need to take care of? Is there a lot of involvement and control which can come in as an interference in the building up of the union? The next one is dependence, is there a sign of parental dependence? Is the person too dependent and attached to their parents in decision making or in resolving their emotions or in financial help? Is there a lot of dependence on the family of origin? That's again another sign. The thing that you should be doing is not making a decision in isolation, but getting the insight from people who are close to you, from your family, maybe from church course, from friends, from your mentors, to really understand what they think about the person you are considering and whether they are also able to see some of these warning signs that you've probably picked up. So we spoke about being in a principle of agreement with specifically four realms of compatibility, the physical, the emotional, intellectual, the spiritual, life's calling, and we did speak about some warning signs. So does the class have any specific question that you all can raise up right now? Any question? Yes, Christopher. Yeah, I'm not sure where this fits in, but one of the things I think is that there are some fundamental differences in the way a man and a woman sort of react and how they respond. It could be in the emotional aspect particularly. And I think in that compatibility sort of emotional compatibility area, I think there is a need to be able to accept that and realize that there is this difference. I mean, I remember, I think I'm not sure where anyone has read this book, but there was this book a long time ago, not a long time, maybe about 20 years back, which is something like it's called Men are for Mars and Women are for Venus. And sometimes just the makeup of the man and the woman and how they react. And I think acceptance is key in that area. And being able to have that emotional maturity to be able to accept that and also realize that those differences do exist. So, not sure where that sort of fits in this discussion. That's a good point, Christopher. Thank you for bringing that up. So, yes, Christopher, you are right that the way that men and women are wired, emotionally wired, are very different. And it's interesting that the way that men and women emotionally respond. So, in general, now this is a general principle, okay, there are exceptions to this, that men are sometimes a lot more, you know, they are more task oriented. Women are more people oriented, relationship oriented. So, especially when it comes to emotions, men do things, whereas women may feel things as they do. So, and as a result, you know, there can be conflicts that come about. So, a good understanding of how a man and a woman works would be, you know, is excellent. I do want to recommend a series on, I'm unable to get his name, but I will. A series, it's by a pastor and he brings this out and it's available on YouTube. So, he's a Christian pastor who brings about the differences of a man and a woman. And he talks of, I will research who the person is in my next class and I'll tell you who it is. So, he brings that out beautifully with illustrations as to how we emote. Whatever, however, it is not just to accept, but also be willing to meet maybe the emotional needs of the other. So, for example, let's say one partner is a very practical person, whereas the other partner being extremely emotional, okay. So, being in the state that you are and saying, you know, this is how I made, I'm quite practical, emotions don't touch me, or I'm quite emotional being practical is, you know, is a face away. That will not work. It is coming together of these two people, seeing how they can work together in order to meet, you know, some form of practicality in some form of emotionality.  So, if you get married to a person who doesn't talk, who doesn't, you know, who feels feelings are taboo, you're going to be in a difficult place. So, that's what I meant also by saying, ask those hypothetical questions, like, you know, when you're in a conflict, what would you do?  I don't need to talk about it. I don't need to do anything about it. So, you get an understanding of that. So, maybe you say, hey, you know, this is the way that I am. I'd like to be open for discussions, although I know you may require your space, but I do need some point of discussion. Would you be open to that? So, that helps you to understand where the compatibility is. Yes, acceptance is important, but also to know at what level of emotional, in the emotional spectrum that they are in. So, to discover that, to discover how they are, because not all men are unemotional or not all women are emotional, there can be degrees that you will find. So, it helps in communicating when you, before you make that choice. Okay. There's a question by Kennedy, can being sexually hyperactive be treated as a red flag? So, as we said, all of physical aspects do have its place, but if there's anything that is beyond what is needed, okay, can be considered as a red flag. So, and I think that there needs to be an assessment on that. The primary understanding when we're looking at marriage is progressing the Kingdom of God. And if there's anything else that comes at any step or any priority that comes before that, you know, that's something that we need to look at as a question. So, can being sexually hyperactive? Yes, it can be treated as one, especially if it doesn't have its, I mean, since you said hyperactive, I'm assuming that it is not in its limits or it's not in what is needed, it's not respectful to the other person as well. So, that's how I've taken those two words. I hope I've answered you, Kennedy and Christopher. Okay. Now, even as we go ahead with finding the right partner, it's important to also know what is it that you can expect and what is it that you can give. So, you know, the two scriptures that specifically come about here is being one in Romans 14.5, it talks about how each of us should make up our own minds and be clear about what is it that we need or what we expect. Excuse me. Okay. And that's something. So, just as we look at the scripture, you know, that it says in Romans 14.5, it should firmly make up your own mind. We know that the scripture is not in the context of marriage, but it helps us understand that we do have a responsibility in what we choose to do. So, when we make a personal choice, like, you know, when you look in for a job, God has given you that responsibility to make your choice. And you do that with the understanding you have what being in God's will by the knowledge that God's given you, the reasoning God's given you, and that's how you make up your mind. And just like that, even in marriage, you need to, even as you make your choice, you need to take on that responsibility, being sure that this is what you would desire, this is what you want when it is in accordance also to God's word. So, as you prepare when you make a choice of a life partner, you need to also be clear of the kind of person you would like and have those expectations realistic for those for your partner. So, for those of you who are not yet married and those of us who are married, it is good to go through some of these questions and help us revisit.  They change. And it's always good to revisit those expectations. And because that not just improves the quality of the relationship, it also brings you to a place of understanding where they may be at a certain point of time. I'll give you an extremely practical example, you know, especially when you become new parents. And I'm sure maybe some of the men may agree. Suddenly, the wife becomes, you know, becomes responsible and attention is divided. Time is, you know, is crunched. It is again divided. And the woman seems to have, the mother seems to have changed in leaps and bounds.  And suddenly, you know, right after the child is born, there seems to be a change in that. And that can be an extremely conflicting area in the life of a couple, right? So to be able to rework some of those expectations, hearing those expectations out also very helpful, even, you know, in the course of marriage. So much before you get married, find out what are some of the qualities and traits that you're looking for, you know, put that down. What is what are some of the qualities that you are willing to offer? What are some of the strengths that you are willing to bring up? What is your picture of marriage? What is the home and the family that you want to build? What do you see as marriage should be like?  Why is this important?  So these are important to understand. Okay. Also to understand what would you help towards building this marriage and this family? So thinking through these questions are, you know, make it very practical and make it make it real. So don't get too fancy, you know, too fancy and, you know, think of marriage like, like a Disney story, right? Be practical and look for clarity even as you're describing your expectations. And remember, you may not always get everything that you want. And so, so figure out what is absolutely critical and what are some of the things that may not be that essential. So that this sort of a framework will definitely give you the guidance and the help in making your final decision. Okay. All right. Is there any question before we, before we close our lecture for this hour? Any questions? Strange. I thought I'd have many questions today, especially making a choice. Okay, all good. All good. Okay, great. Okay. So we shall meet for our next class in around 10 minutes. Thank you.


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