OK, that was interesting. So don't use HDMI 2 in this room. It just randomly dies. Cool. All right, so we're back. So our SATP pointer, that point us to the highest level page table. In this case, it was where L2 is. And then that's all the information we need to actually translate a virtual address. So we just keep following them, following them, following them until we eventually get to L0. And then that's just exactly too loud. And that's just exactly how we treat a single large page table that has the translation in it. And we just substitute in the physical page number for the virtual page number, keep our offsets the same. And we're all good. So stream down, so hopefully it works. So any questions about what we did yesterday? Yeah, so its main advantage is its size efficiency. So before when we had a single big page table, it was like 1 gigabyte. Here, to translate a single address, we need just only three of these smaller level page tables. So instead of 1 gigabyte, well, each of these fit exactly on a page. So we have three pages, which are 4,096 bytes each. So this would be what? 12 kilobytes to translate as address, as opposed to just 1 gigabyte. Apparently that is not back up. So I'll have to off to upload the lecture later. OK, sorry. All right, room's cursed. Sweet. So last time the internet dropped, I've only ever had problems in this room. So it's just cursed. All right. So quick aside, so who here has heard the term alignment before? Have we heard? So one person, so one person I know that took the advanced version of this course. So just so you know, if they haven't taught you this before, alignment is something we care really, really a lot about, especially when you're implementing hardware and using low level code. So alignment just means that everything of the same size eventually lines up with byte 0. Oh, they're not uploaded? OK, I'll fix the slides after the lecture. I had to upload them like 10,000 times on the train because my internet kept cutting out. So I guess it just decided to do something weird. So I'll fix it after the lecture. So yeah, sorry about that. So today's so far been a disaster, so great. So let's hope it doesn't continue. So in this case, what alignment means is that if I have pages and I say that they are 4,096 byte aligned in memory, it means they always start with all the lower 12 bits being 0. And we like that in computing because we could start the pages wherever we wanted, but it would actually make our lives a lot more complicated. For instance, I could start a page that just address like 7C00. And then if you go to the last byte on the page, which would be 4,095 bytes later, the last byte would be at address 8BFF, which is a bit weird. Because ideally, we would like if we know we're on page 7, it'd just be nicer if it just started with all the 12 bits being 0, so it would start at 7000. And that way it would end at 7FFF, instead of being like a weird thing where it's 7C00 and ends at 8BFF. Just makes our lives a lot easier. You can glance at it. You can know it's on the same page. And that's what we mean by alignment. Everything, like the offset 0 of that page corresponds with all the 12 bits being 0, 0. So the question is that, well, if I wanted to do something like, hey, I want everything to be 8 byte aligned, which for some systems, you actually want your memory to be 8 byte aligned or instructions or whatever. So you should be able to say, hey, is address something like EC 8 byte aligned? Yes or no? So who thinks that is 8 byte aligned? Who thinks it is not?   So 8 byte aligned, you can think of that if you start at index 0, at byte 0, that no matter how far you go up, you are always at boundaries of 8 bytes. So if everything is aligned, it would either start at byte 0, byte 8, 16, 24, 32, so on and so forth. So it basically just means it's divisible. Yep. Yeah, sorry, that should be 7 fall by 3F. So I'll fix that when I upload the slides. Yeah, I got a bit too friendly with my F key. All right, so in that case, if things are 8 byte aligned, well, that means, again, it should start at either 0, 8, 16, so on and so forth. So if this is 8 byte aligned, then it would be nicely divisible by 8. The remainder would be 0. In this case, it's not if you can actually read like hex, or just throw that into a calculator on the internet. So one quick way you can see if it's 8 bit aligned is well. So your 8 byte align is go back, so we'll do that later. So if we're 8 byte aligned, another way of expressing that on a computer, well, just means that all of the bits that all the lower bits we need to represent, this are all 0 all the time. So 8 is to the power of 3. So we would need our 3 lower bits to all be 0. So 0, 0, 0. And if they are all 0, that would be on one of those boundaries. So you can double check this by, you know, it's the same thing as it being exactly divisible by. So in this case, valid addresses would be something like, if we fill up the rest with 0s, well, a valid address that would be 8 by the line would be 0. Next one would just be incrementing anything except the lower 3 bits. So the next one would be something like this, which would be 0, 8, which makes sense. That's 8. And then the next one would be something like this. And that would be address 1, 0, or in plain decimal, that's 16. So those would all be valid addresses that are 8 by a line. So 0, 8, da, da, da, da, da. And if you write this out, you can even notice a pattern here. So either the last hex digit will either be a 0 or an 8 if it is 8 by the line. So does that make sense to everybody? So if that's the case, it doesn't even matter what the rest of them are. So we can look at this and see, if we have the address EC, we can look and immediately know, hey, it's not a 0 or a 8. So it is not 8 by the line. So does that make sense to everyone? So same thing with pages. We want pages to be aligned at that page boundary so we don't have to monkey with anything. Everything is nice aligned at 0. Everything lines up nicely. So with that in mind, let's simulate an MMU and actually create our own page tables and monkey around with it and break it. Everyone likes breaking stuff. So in this case, that whole translation of going through all the page tables isn't really that difficult. All there is is you just have a for loop and you monkey with bits. You don't have to really care about this that much. But basically, all it does is shift the bits around to remember our formatting for the page table entry, like the lower 10 bits were all had to do with the flags. So that's all this is doing in pulling out the physical page number, which is those 44 bits, and then monkeying with it. So we don't have to read that. And the few other functions it does is we can allocate pages and they will be page aligned. So all their lower 12 bits will all be 0. So you can request a page from the kernel and it guarantees that they're aligned. So with that, to set up a page table, all we have to do to go ahead and translate an address is we create a L2 page table. So we're going to assume three levels of page tables. Yep. Does no one see anything I did yesterday? Yeah, so yeah, sorry. So this code is in the lecture 14 one because it was related to yesterday and I ran out of time yesterday. So I was going to do it, but we're doing it now. Yeah, so sorry, this is the lecture 14 directory and this is 15. OK, so to do this, we allocate a page and we're going to use that page we got for an L2 page table, which is our big one. And the only thing our MMU needs to resolve an address is we have to set a root page table. And here, I have a global variable that tells me what page the root page table is on. So that's all that does. So in order to resolve an address, I need at least an L1 page table, an L2, and an L0. So I would allocate a L1 page table, which would return me a new page. And then I use it for whatever I want. In this case, I need to have an entry in my L2 page table and I want to resolve an address. So I'll just put it at index 0 for now because the address I want to translate is ABCEDF. So if this is my address I need to translate, well, we can figure out what indexes this would use. It wouldn't have to translate the last three hex characters because that's the offset onto the page because we're assuming our normal page size of 4,096, so we don't need to touch that. So the upper part of address for the whole virtual page number is ABC. And if we go ahead and let's go ahead and write that out in binary because everyone loves doing that. And if I do that, ABC in binary at the top C is 1, 1, 0, 0. Then B is 1, 0, 1, 1.  It's 1, 0, 1, 0. Like 10, 10, lots of fun. So if you do that, you can write out those 12 bits. And then you can start grouping the indices. And they are in groups of 9. So we start at the back. And our first group of 9 is here. That would be what we use for L0 index. And then the next group of 9 would be here. And I just won't write the leading 0s. But if you write something like that, you assume leading 0s for the rest of it. So that's what we would use for L1 index.  So if we were trying to resolve the address ABC, like as the virtual page number, well, we would first look at index 0 in our L2 page table. Then whatever that entry points us to, we use it as our L1 page table. In the L1 page table, what index would we look at? Or in other words, what is 0, 1, 0 in decimal? You can show me on one hand. I see 1, 5, right? Do we not remember all our binary? So easy way to do it is, remember back in grade 3 when they taught you the tens columns, the hundreds columns, and all that? It's the exact same thing. Yeah, 1, 0 is 1. Whatever I've written up there. Oh, I just said the wrong thing. Yeah, I wrote the right thing. Sorry. OK, I thought we were going back to grade 3. So 1, 0, 1, sorry, is just 5. So our L1 index is 5. All right, let's see. I'll say this correctly. What is 0, 1, 0, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0 in decimal? Who's that fast? 188. Yeah, so a student among you would have realized that I already wrote it out here. So I want this to resolve, so I already wrote it out here. So all that is, hopefully, 188. So first it would look at the L2 page table at index 0, then use that as the L1 page table, look at index 5 there, and then that would find the L0. And then from the L0, it would look at index 188. And then that's where it would pull the physical page number from and just replace it, and then our translation's done. So if we go back to here, at this point right here, we have an L2 page table, but it's just full of 0s, which doesn't help us. That essentially means everything is invalid. So there's no entries in it. And then we create an L1 page table, and we need to create it before we can point to it. So we create an L1 page table, and then we create an entry in our L2 page table at index 0, because when we resolve this address, that's the page table where we look at. And all this PTE from page table does is set the valid bit for the page table entry and take this page table, which would be nicely aligned at the page boundaries and just chop off the offset, because we don't need it, because we know we use that as basically a big array. And it would stuff the physical page number of that page table into there so we can use it. So then we have to go one level deeper. So we create an L0 page table. Again, it would be allocated, be nothing. And then in our L1, we create an entry for index 5, which points to that L0 page table we just made. And then in the L0 page table, we create an entry for 188. And we just get the page table entry from the physical page number, and we want to translate physical page number CAFE. So if we do that, hopefully when we translate this virtual address, A, B, C, D, E, F, what should we get? Yep. What is the actual address? OK, anyone tell me the actual address we would get at the end of all this CAFE? It would start with CAFE, yep. Yeah, CAFE, then DEF, right? So to translate it, we don't have to translate DEF, because that's our part of the offset. So we don't translate that. And as soon as we follow through all the steps, basically we replace A, B, C with whatever physical page number this is. So we should get CAFE and then DEF. So any questions about how I got that? OK, so let's simulate, make sure it works. So I'll also make up another address, which is 1, A, B, C, E, D, E, F.  So they would all have invalid entries. So if I try and resolve this address, it should page fault, which means I can't translate the address because it's not valid. So if I go ahead and do that, build M and U sim. I can see that translated address A, B, C, D, E, F to CAFE, DEF. And then when I translated 1, A, B, C, D, E, F, I got a page fault, which means it didn't translate properly because I didn't have any valid entries. So does that kind of make sense to anyone? Yep. So as part of the page table entry, one of the flag bits is a valid bit. So by default, when you get a page, it's all zeros. So all the entries would appear as invalid. So if I try and resolve it, it would be like, OK, that's not valid, so I wouldn't follow that memory. It doesn't lead me anywhere. Yep. So the question is, why didn't I get a page fault for the first address? And I didn't get a page fault for the first address at A, B, C, D, E, F because when I would translate that, I have to follow it like this, right? Like, given an L2 page table, I look at index 0. I find the L1 from that, then I look at index 5, and then I would look at index 188. And then if that is valid, then I can actually translate the address, right? Oh, OK, yeah. So the question is for this, it looks like I didn't set valid from address, but this PTE from page table, it sets that it basically makes a page table entry that's valid. Yeah, so as part of this, this entry would contain a valid page table entry. And yeah, either you could trust me or we can look at the code. So here, the PTE from ppn, like the little helper function, all it does is takes the physical page number, shifts it over 10 bits, and then sets valid, and PTE valid is just 1. So this sets the lowest bit as 1, which means valid. Yeah, so what happens with, yeah, so let's go over why there's a page fault at 1, A, B, C, D.  Like, where did I screw up? Or where does it fail? Yep, yep. So here, let's go over that quick. Oops, hi, doc. So if we change the virtual address to instead be 1, A, B, C, D, E, F, well, the rest of it, thankfully, stays the same. But the lowest bit is now, whoops. But now we have a 1. So 1, and it would go right here. And it still fits within that L1 index. So now we change our L1 index. So yeah, so whoops, I wrote my line bad. There. So if I have a 1 in front of it, well, that just means that 1 is set if I just add it. So now my L1 index is no longer 5. What is it? 13. Everyone got 13? Yeah, so now my L1 index for this address is 13. So if we tried to translate it, well, if we try and translate it now, it's L2 index is still 0. So it would still follow it to this L1 page table. But in the L1 page table, the entry for 13 is just invalid because we never set it to be anything. So it would just stop there. So it's invalid. It would stop, then generate a page fault, which basically just means that, hey, I can't translate this anymore. So yeah. Oh, OK.  So RAM is volatile, so everything gets wiped. So as part of the initialization process, when you boot up your computer, well, the kernel is going to have to set up page tables like this, and it's going to have to zero everything. So it would have to zero it as part of everything being invalid. So if you're going to use a page for a page table, well, by default, you just want a page of all zeros, which is all invalid, and then you can fill it in as you go. So what would I do if I want, let's make one ABCDEF translate to something more fun. So how would I make it translate to, I don't know, let's say like feed DEF. So how would I go about doing that? So if I go back here for this address, one ABCDEF, it's L0 index is actually still the same, right? It's 188. So I must have to do something else. So where is the first index that's different? Yeah, so it's the L1 index is where it changes first, because it would start at L2, translate to L1, and then here in the L1, our index is different, so we're going to have to start by making that valid. Yep, yep. So in this case, we would need to create a new L0 table because we need to point to something. So we would have to go ahead and create a new L0 table. I will be super creative and call it L0 page table 2, because I'm just that creative. And then in here, we essentially would just make entry 13, point to that new page table we just have. So now it points to a different L0 page table. And this is where it would follow if it's translating one ABCDEF. Any questions about that? So now as the final step to the puzzle, all I would have to do is in the new L2 page table, it would be located at the same index. But I just need to change it to whatever I want. What I say I want it to be feed or face. Let's go with face. Face is fun. So if I change it to face, now should I get a valid address out of one ABCDEF? Hopefully. What will it be? Face EDF. Everyone got that? So let's make sure we didn't screw up. So if we do that, then look. Hey, yay. So we translated the address. So we could also do weird things if we really wanted to. So instead of here, they point to different L0 page tables. But there's no reason why I couldn't, if you wanted to, just point them to the same L1 page table. So if I do that, what's going to be the result if I translate both the addresses? Yeah, for both of them, they're going to be CAFE EDF, because they're essentially pointing at the same thing. So then two virtual addresses actually translate to the same physical address, in which case you might have two different variables. And if you change one, it changes the other that you thought was independent. And you could also do really weird things like you could map this differently in different processes. So one process points to the same piece of memory that another process points to. And they both point to the same physical piece of memory from two different virtual addresses. So that's something you could do. Generally, you probably don't want that to happen by default and just point to random memory. But if you want to share memory, well, that's the mechanism that the kernel would do to share memory, is they would just make you point to the same physical page as someone else. So I guess bonus question. So let's change this back. And let's change this address to be, I don't know, let's just double 07. So will this resolve to an address 1abcd007? I see some shaking. So what address would that translate to now? Yeah. Yeah, face 007. So let's verify that that works. So in this case, it would work because it's on the same, like it's the same virtual page. So no matter what you change the offset to, it's still on the same page. So all those addresses are going to be valid. So as soon as you have one entry, it's valid for every address on the page. We're all good. So any questions about that? Hopefully that is clear. Sweet. All right, now to go on to fun stuff. So here's some more questions you could get, like typical questions on exams, like how many page tables do we need? And this is also good for programs like this. So if we want to resolve one address, even if it's on multiple pages, well, we need at least three page tables if we have three levels of page tables. So that's the minimum I need to resolve any single address. Well, you could say that assume our program uses 512 pages, while questions you could ask is what's the minimum number of page tables we need and what's the maximum number of page tables we need. Any guesses? Yep. So like just one L0, right? So for one address, we need at least three. So I guess minimum for 512 entries would be three then, right? OK, what about maximum? OK, I see a confused phase. So let's go over why you would at minimum need three page tables to translate 512 pages. So let's go through here. So one way we could have it is, well, to translate, let's start with one address. So to translate one address or one page, we would have our L2 page table. It would have exactly one entry that points to another. Then inside here, it would have exactly one entry that points to another. And then that would actually have the entry that we use, right? So this is what we had, and we could translate everything on that page. So if we got really lucky, how many entries can this, I'll label them. How many entries does this L0 page table have? Yeah. Yeah, so this has 500, whoops, that is not 512. So this is 512 entries. So what we could do with only three page tables is we could just fill this bad boy up with 512 entries. Yep. So you have to start at an L2, right? If you have three levels of page tables, you have to start at an L2. You have to start somewhere. No, because the hardware, if you're using three page tables, like three levels of page tables, it needs to step through three levels. So what you could do, which would be super screwed up, is, well, if you have a single L2 page table, I guess you could point to yourself. But you probably don't want to do that. And if you point to yourself, you're using an entry for yourself, and really bad things can happen. Yeah. So if we need, so it's just a system design question, so how many levels we need? Just depends on how big of a virtual address we want to support. And that's it. So in this case, it's like 39-bit virtual addresses, so it has to be three levels of page tables. And that's it. So yeah, yeah. So we're stuck with three levels. We can't get rid of three levels. We, at a minimum, have to have three levels. So if we get really lucky, well, in our L2 page table, it could point to a single L1, and then that L1 points to an L0. And that L0 is just full of entries. It has 512 entries, so it can actually map 512 different pages. So what would happen if I can't fill up that table? So if my best case is I can fill up my L1 table with 512 entries, what's my worst case? Yeah, my, yep, 3 times 512. Everyone agree with 3 times 512? Yep. Not counting empty ones. Yeah, so our worst case would probably be each L0 page table has exactly one entry. That would probably be the most wasteful thing we could do aside from just allocating empty ones and just being like, yeah, screw you guys. So if our worst case is we have an L0 with exactly one entry on it, whoops, that's not how you spell that. Well, how many of those would I actually need to support 512 different mappings? So yeah. Yeah, so I would need 512 L1 page tables. Each one has exactly one entry. So if I wanted to make this bad, well, in my L0 table, I could, because there's 512, if I was really good or really lucky, I could fill this up with 512 entries and support pointing to all those L0 page tables. Or since we're talking about the worst case, well, this could also only have one entry per. So if I go back and I just do one entry per in my L1, well, I have to point to at least 512 L0 page tables. So I also need 512 of these. I need 512 L1 page tables in the worst case that all have one entry each. So everyone, you have to make this joke. Everyone on the same page with that one? OK, terrible. How many L2 page tables do I need? 512, I see a one. All right, one. One's in the chat. Two people? All right, 512. Like three people. Great. All right, so for the L2 page table, remember that's our starting point. So we have to be given an L2 page table. And since it's your starting point, you only have one of them. So it needs to start somewhere. So our L2 page table would just start off just somewhere. And because it has to point to 512 entries, well, it would just have to be full in this case. In this case, this one would have 512 entries in it because we've spread them out as much as we can. So any questions about that? Yeah, so the question is, could I design the first case, or is it just a matter of luck? So if you just boot up your computer and you can do whatever you want with memory, you could easily do that. You could make sure that your program just uses sequential addresses because sequential addresses will be just one index off. So typically, you'll do that. Everyone's heap is like that. Everything looks sequential. So that's the reason why you want contiguous addresses. So your page tables actually don't get really messed up. So you would do that. But the page tables might map to physical addresses that aren't contiguous. Ideally, you would like that to be contiguous as well. But you typically just try to make it as best you can. And that's your job as a kernel. But as things run and things allocate, deallocate, you have new processes, things typically get messy. So it's a best case basis. OK, any other questions? So our best case here was three page tables. And our worst case is 512 plus 512 plus 1. So 1,025 page tables is the worst if we have to map 512 individual pages. So best case is we fit them all on a single L0. Worst case is we have one entry per. In L0, one entry per in L1. OK, so yeah. So the question is, well, if I only have one L2 page table, what about if I have more than 512 entries? Well, you can't, right? Because our L2 indexes here are nine bits. So we can't use more, so we only have one. So if you want to support more virtual addresses, you just have to add another level. So I could add a fourth level that has 512 entries. And then I have to do this with another step. OK, any questions? Any more questions about that? So sweet. So here's another type of question. How many levels do you need, which we kind of did quickly yesterday? So all these questions will say what you'll get all the information, except for one piece of information that you will have to figure out. So in this case, we have a 32-bit virtual address, and it tells you your page size. And it's the one we all know and love. And we have a bit different. We have a page table entry size of four bytes. So if we do our design insight of having each, dividing it into smaller page tables and having and fitting each one exactly on a page, well, if we want to find the number of page table entries we could have in a page. That's 2 to the 12 divided by 2 to the 2, which is that four bytes. So unlike before, we can have another factor of two more entries. So we can have 2 to the 10 entries in these page tables. Now, if our page table entry size gets halved, we can fit double the number of entries. Makes sense. So it's always log 2 number of page table entries for page is the number of bits you need to index. So in this case, what's log 2 of 2 to the power of 10? 10. They cancel each other out exponent math. So for each level, we have 10 index bits. So you can figure out the number of levels you need. It's just a simple all that is as a floor. So it just means we round up because it's fine if we can't fill one level, but we have to have as many levels as we need. We can't just end early. So in this question, our number of virtual bits is 32. And our offset bits, which you derive from the page table size. So remember, everything is nicely page aligned. So you never have to monkey with however many bits represent that page. So in this case, the offset bits are 12 because 496 is 2 to the 12. And you'll see this number over and over and over again. So virtual bits minus offset bits, that's 32 minus 12. And our index bits, well, we have 10. So 32 minus 12 is 20 divided by 10. We don't need to do any rounding or anything like that. The number of levels we get is just 2. What would happen if I say we have a 33-bit virtual address now? I just need a little bit more memory. So how many levels would I need in that case? Three, right? So I don't fit exactly within two. So it would be like 33 minus 12, so 21 divided by 10. So I would need one additional level. And in that level, it would only have two entries that I use. So then all my L2 page table, I'd only have two entries I actually use to tell me which L1 or L1 page table I need to point at. OK, so this is actually really, really, really, really slow. So for that, like that MMU simulator, that's what your hardware would actually have to do. So to decode a single address, well, it needs to do a lot more than that original memory access. So instead of what everyone thought before, where, hey, I'm accessing memory, so it's just have a lot it takes to access memory, well, now with page tables, we have to access memory multiple times. So each time, we're going to have to access the L2, which would be a memory read, then L1, which is a memory read, then L2, which is a memory read, and then our original memory read. So instead of just one memory access, we're turning that into four, which intuitively seems to make you think that your machine would be four times slower, but we have some tricks we can do. So likely, we're going to access the same page multiple times. So remember, we even use the same translation. So when I change the offset to just be within the same virtual page, my translation didn't really change. It would have followed the same steps, and all the addresses are valid. And whenever you use your process, while at any given time, you might only need a few mappings available at a time. Like you only use a few pages in your program at any given time. So our solution to that would be just the computer science classic. We just implement a cache. Like basically, that translation at the end of the day was virtual page number to physical page number. So we had to go through multiple levels to decode it, but after we decode it, well, we could cache that result. All at the end of the day, what we care about is, for this virtual page number, what's the physical page number? So that's exactly what something called a TLB is, or a translation look-aside buffer. Why the name? They need to be fancy, but all it is is a cache for virtual page numbers to physical page numbers. So how it works is, well, in this case, you'll see the virtual address and logical address. They mean the same thing. So on your CPU, it would use the virtual address, and then it would take the virtual page number, look it up in a lookup table, basically, and check if it's in that table. If it's in the table, it would be something called a TLB hit. So it's in the cache. So I can just use that for the translation directly, and I don't have to go through all those three levels again and again and again. And then if there is a miss, well, then I have to go through those three layers of steps, and sorry, this image kind of sucks. But does that kind of make sense to everyone? Basically, just a cache, so I don't have to go translate it using those three levels again and again. So this cache would be a limited size. But each entry in the cache essentially covers a whole page.  So it actually covers a lot of space. Well, it covers a decent amount of space now. Maybe a lot of space if you had 4 kilobytes of RAM, but it's like a decent amount now. Yep. Yeah, so the question is, why don't I just go back to my one big page table, because that would just be faster? So if I went back to my one big page table, well, I still have to translate. I still need two memory accesses, right? I need to find where it is in that page table. And then from that, I have to then get the original address it was referring to. So it's still two memory accesses for that big table. And also that table, we threw out the window before, because it was just way too big. But even if you had a single big page table, this would still be helpful, because it would just cache that translation in the big page table, and you don't have to access it. But the main reason we don't use the single page table is just because it would waste way too much space. OK, so that's four. And I guess we'll finish up this lecture next week. And yeah, after this, you should start doing Lab 2, because if you haven't started it yet, you are screwed. So just remember, pulling for you, we're all in this together.


Hello everybody welcome to part 5b on our series on Mary Magdalene where we are actually going through the book Mary Magdalene revealed the the first apostle her feminine gospel and the Christianity we haven't tried yet by Megan Waterson now again as I said last week I had to divide part 5 into two sections because this is a very very long section and the section today is going to be particularly long so I hope that you have the time to sit down and listen to This whole section of course you can hit that pause button if you need to pause and then come back to it later If this is your first time joining us on this channel first of all welcome And second of all I am going to place all the previous episodes in the Mary Magdalene series down in the description box below I would highly suggest that you start with part 1 first today We're going to be starting our reading on the chapter titled how to meditate like Mary Magdalene She said I saw the Lord in a vision and I said to him Lord I saw you today in a vision he answered me how wonderful you are for not wavering at seeing me for where the mind is There is the treasure the gospel of Mary chapter 7 verses 1 through 4 Dr. Howe Towsing introduced me more formally to the gospel of Mary as a professor of biblical literature in the and early Christianity at Union He taught a course titled loosening cannon that I took at the same time as McGuckin's course on the hessie chest Towsing's course let me fall deeper in love with Mary's gospel alongside the text that help help Contextualize the discourse that takes place within it the gospel of Thomas and Philip in particular And once again we have read through the gospel of Thomas and the gospel of Philip on his channel before in our deep dive into the missing Books the Bible if you would like to review those Gospels then I will place the playlist down in the description box below the playlist is the dark outposts playlist So you can click over there and see all the books that we've read through that are technically missing from the Bible Years later at a Barnes and Noble I stopped Suddenly shocked to see his name and gold pluttering across a book titled a new New Testament a Bible for the 21st century I grabbed it like a psycho and began rifling through its contents. It blew my mind I morphed into a geek theologian right there in the aisle My mouth was open and everything it combines the scripture That was originally included in the formation of the New Testament with a scripture that was Excluded like the gospel of Mary Magdalene the gospel of Thomas the thunder perfect mind in the acts of Paul and Thakla In the introduction Towson explains that with the traditional New Testament to know what was inside it You must know what is outside of it? And he gives an example of Paul and Thakla that you cannot understand Paul Whose conversion story was included in the traditional Bible without also knowing Thakla Whose conversion story was excluded he describes a fresco dated from approximately 500 AD that's painted on the walls of a cave in Turkey It's of Paul and Thakla and it depicts them teaching together side-by-side Thakla as you know is the fiery Turkish teenager who baptizes herself in the name of Christ wears men's clothing and defies patriarchal structures of the first century that insists she marry and have children Towson explains that what's included in the New Testament about Paul is Incomplete without knowing his relationship to Thakla again the role of women the divine feminine the balance between the divine feminine and the divine masculine Joshua would not have been the Christ without Mary Magdalene They have to balance each other scholars agree based not externally on political correctness, but internally on linguistic differences That the three of the letters attributed to Paul in 1st and 2nd Timothy and Titus were written well over a half century After Paul's death They were created in his name But were in fact reactions to his original views on radical equality for everyone in the Christian community Whether they were Jews or Gentiles females or males slaves or born free, which is clearly Expressed in Galatians chapter 3 verses 27 through 28 For all of you who were baptized into union with Christ clothes yourselves with Christ There is neither Judean nor Greek slave nor free male and female for in Christ Jesus you are all one How then did we arrive at the blatant? patriarchal dominance of 1st Timothy chapter 2 verses 11 through 12 a woman must learn Listen in silence with all difference. I do not consent to them becoming teachers or exercising authority over men They ought not to speak By the fourth century when the new testament was being compiled the radical equality of christianity Was tamed as sexist norms were instituted within the church hierarchy To really understand 1st Timothy chapter 2 verses 11 through 12 Towson suggests you have to look both inside and outside the traditional new testament You can't really see what was included and why without also seeing what was excluded Towson organized a committee to very carefully scrutinize which sacred text should be included in a new new testament men and women ordained in secular Scholars and monastics were asked to reach a consensus On which early christian scripture should represent the various strands of christianity that existed in the first several centuries Before the formation of what became the master story the singular narrative of christ captured in the four canonical gospels It's hard to explain that seeing all these conflicting early christian texts bound together and one bible did to me And let me accept the kind of christian i have always been Everything else had felt like a compromise and omission This wholeness of binding together what he said and what she said Of what has been seen and unseen accepted in outcast included in all and calling it all christianity This is to me. What was sacred? This is what made the scripture There's the external and the internal experience of christ the metaphysics of what happens when we prayer meditate This is what mary's gospel reveals to us This is what we have been missing the validation of what we can only meet with and find for within our hearts Without mary's gospel. We miss out on the ancient dialogue. She had with christ about this precise practice Where do we go when we go within? What's there waiting for us? christ says in the gospel of thomas that the kingdom is already spread out upon the earth if we only have spiritual capacity to see it There is a vision we have to acquire or return to that allows us to perceive what's here This is no jesuit priest yanis describes no as a dimension that's often forgotten In the ancient world the no was seen as the finest point of the soul Or as some might say today the angel of the soul This is the dimension that mary's gospel alone directly addresses When christ says for where the mind is there is treasure the word is no And this is the treasure because there is our direct link to the experience of love of god or of the good Right here in the body And the return to love is what frees us from the seven powers that bind us to the ego's reality The concept of the mind in greek includes the heart. It was never separate from it This is the pre discartist. This is before there was an idea that such a division could occur in the body That we could be a mind devoid of heart an episcopal priest wrote in her masterpiece the meaning of mary magdalene explains That the no is the property of the heart not the mind as we understand the mind in the western world The heart according to the near eastern wisdom traditions is an organ of spiritual perception Merging with the no becoming conscious of it within the heart and seeing with its vision This is the goal of the process of inner transformation That the gospel of mary relates christ underwent and that we can all undergo as well She believes the gospel of mary could potentially be proof that mary magdalene was a witness not only to christ's resurrection But to the entire transformation he went through If she had merged with no if she could see the spiritual eye of the heart Which is a vision that allows us to see through death To be a love that exists beyond it that she never left him Not physically or psychically She witnessed the way he freed himself from the bonds of death how he remembered the no and created a spiritual blueprint for us all to follow The gospel of mary magdalene then has preserved in a visionary form through the pure Unfleaching no of mary magdalene the moment when the universal salvation gushed forth from jesus cosmological act of atonement I think this is how we pray how we meditate like mary magdalene When we return to love within us within the heart Quietly discreetly and we don't ask for any reward or external affirmation in exchange for doing the work The return to love is the treasure itself This is why she was so wonderful according to christ He calls her wonderful. I think because of this unique bravery it takes to return to love within you She returned to the no Which is the aspect of the soul that we can be conscious of while living While here in this human body, and I don't think union was a constant state for her I think it's something she became adapt at remembering union is hard one Merging with the no the angel of the soul becoming one This is as gritty as it gets when it comes to spiritual work I think it's a state we can all work at cultivating it happens where no one else can see or validate for us that we're doing the work It's feminine. It's eternal It's direct experience It happens quietly within when instead of reaching from ego. We take a moment and respond differently For example as I moved through the years out of union and out of a marriage raising a son I found that the desire to love was enough A desire to see with the spiritual eyes of the heart was enough to allow for these tiny transformations all throughout the day I couldn't curl forward over my heart all day like the hessie chats Or I just took three intentional breaths whenever I felt one of those seven powers of the ego arise A breath to descend into the heart A second breath to connect to the soul the no and then a third breath to surface and no I'm being led by love I called this soul voice meditation and eventually I would hang out in my heart for hours on end just listening asking questions and receiving answers My beloved crazy nasal gazing hessie chats experience the no as a containing a facility of direct knowing or unmeditated truth This isn't something we need outside sources to confirm are people we love and trust and validate for us This is something that's in our bones or that's how it feels to me It feels like blood memory like something I could possibly learn from anyone or anywhere It's the other side of education It's what we can only become aware of from within The trappist funkin author thomas merton describes the no as a pure diamond blazing with invisible lights of heaven The invisible light of heaven This is what I think christ means when he says in the gospel of thomas That the kingdom is already here spread out all over the earth if we only have eyes to see it This brings us to the next section called the red egg Have you already found the beginning then that you seek for the end for where the beginning is the end will be Blessed is the one who stands at the beginning the one will know the end and will not taste death the gospel of thomas I shot up in bed with one of those gasp a sharp intake of air like I had been held underwater for too long It felt like three in the morning. Everything was silent in that inter-size type way suspended between night and day I can't even imagine how hysterical my face must have looked shocked had my eyebrows cleared up to my hairline My face was buckling under the strain of trying to comprehend what I was feeling I probably looked like an astronaut undergoing a high g4 centrifuge training I sat there in the dark wide-eyed beside my sleeping fiance trying to figure out what I had felt and why I was terrified by it It was the holiest moment. I had ever experienced I knew several things all at once. I was pregnant I was having a boy And he would be solid big-boned He would be a real concrete presence He felt like something that just a second before had been a furial and otherworldly I was now a fixed being tethered to me for all eternity And I used the word eternally intentionally here because I felt like I knew it.  I think the idea of it has always comforted me Oh, how nice we live on forever But the actual breath of it the glimpse I felt during my son's conception just utterly freaked me out We never end This is what I was repeating as I started crying trying to digest and comprehend everything I knew then We don't have an ending What I knew about eternity didn't come from my mind. My body was telling me we never end and I sat there Like that crying because I was totally because I was so terrified and so insanely happy I never heard of conscious conception that it was a thing like conversion stories or near-death experience I didn't know this genre existed that other women also were aware of the moment they conceived I sat there feeling alone like like I was a freak Which is like a home base for every woman I've ever known new experience equals. I'm a freak.  I'd ever know Yes, utter paradox. And yes, no apologies And maybe think of how our concept of god would be so different if all along for the time of for the time of Venus van Welderdorf period of prehistory roughly 30 000 bce to right now We never swung around and done the 180 from worshiping the goddess to just worshiping a god Think of the sermons the rituals the ceremonies think of how much they would change if we were equally hearing from both sexes About what it's like to find the god in the body the liturgy and the laws would shift dramatically I think because for me the experience was like the universe huffed on me I felt like for one instance or maybe an eternity I really got how massively beyond my comprehension this human being is that's it I was humbled senseless. I have zero clue about anything ultimate or how it works Or why I got to be the mother of this particular son This one that I recognized the second I saw him as if his face had always been missed as if I always did the shape of it As if he existed in me all along Laid redman and when the women were drummers explains all the eggs a woman will ever carry form in her own race When she is a form of old fetus in the womb of her mother This means our cellular life as an egg begins in the womb of our grandmother Each of us spent five months in our grandmother's womb In robert lent's icon mary magdalene is pointing with one hand at the egg held in her other hand She's staring straight at the viewer with a gaze to me that translate as something like everything comes from within And there's an insistence or maybe an An exasperation almost how can you not see this? It struck me the first time I saw her icon the egg is the most feminine object or symbol of creation In modern cosmology, it is believed that 13 billion years ago The entire mass of the universe was compressed into a gravitational singularity the so-called cosmic egg And from the singularity the universe has expanded ever since to its current state and continues at the moment You're reading this to expand further still The look on mary's face in lent's iconograph suggests she understands a secret. We're still trying to work out She's trying to point us to it literally to help us realize and remember it that all life comes from within Or as young realizes in the red book. I am the egg that surrounds and nurtures the seed of the god and me I've had this icon of mary magdalene pointing at the egg with me for almost two decades now It's the first object I find in a duck for every time I move It's the same icon. Dr. Karen king put on the cover of her translation of mary's gospel According to the eastern orthodox church mary magdalene is associated with easter because christ resurrected to her first I'll return to this again later this easter moment and why love is what brings us back to life But after hearing this seminary about mary that she really is the whole reason easter happens I found it so curious that we associated easter egg with a rabbit rather than mary The dramatic tradition of the easter bunny dates back to the 18th century with the german anglican immigrants and a myth About an austere haste who gave gifts of candy and color eggs to good children Sort of like a tiny harry santa claus the orthodox church used to have a tradition of fasting from eggs during lent So the colored hard-fold eggs were used as a way to celebrate breaking the fast on eastern morning I didn't know that that's interesting There's a more ancient legend though that associates the egg with easter The eastern orthodox tradition holds that after the resurrection mary magdalene traveled to rome where she was admitted to the court of tiberius caesar because of her high social standing She told the court the story of her love for christ and how poorly justice was served under paunch's pilot during christ's trial She told caesar that christ had risen and to help explain his resurrection Supposedly she took an egg from off the feast laid out before them Interestingly enough so again We believe that the roman empire possibly didn't actually exist that they any of the remains of the roman empire were actually atlantis And we've actually found out a little bit about paunch's pilot Who did not order christ to be executed because at this point i'm beginning to believe he never was executed That that was just a story added in to have us worship um their ceremonies of sacrifice of the humankind and drinking blood and all that kind of stuff And we are now coming to find in our research. There's a possibility that paunch's pilot was actually mary magdalene's father And he was not a roman ruler But an egyptian ruler from the tallame line And so the only thing i really agree with here was her high social standing. Yes, mary magdalene came from very very high social standing Through both her mother and her father. We're still doing more we just meet We're still doing more research into her mother, but both her parents were Very powerful people If i could magically if i could magically pick to be present at any moment in history, this would be it I would be sitting there held wrapped with attention to every word mary gave during her first sermon I've imagined what she might have said so many times I've imagined how it would correct for us this ancient misunderstanding we have about the body and about the soul It varies but sometimes there's this loud threat of exasperation as if she's been pointing at an egg after all these years after millennia And we still have zero clue But it goes something like this an egg like a seed Contains the end at the beginning The seed already has a bloom held within it the egg holds safely inside whatever new life Its precariously fragile shell is meant to protect and if that new life is going to emerge it has to come from within You can't break a shell and still expect a little beak to one day peck its way out into the world You have to let that tiny creature with wings within the shell arrive at the day of its own birth You have to remain in this trusting quiet Unknowing as every mother or artist knows and let that life declare its existence not when your ego says it's time But when the new life says it's ready A body like an egg contains a soul In the beginning there's the dark there's the womb and the only light is the soul this new life that awaits to emerge from within The soul is the beginning and also the end Birth isn't to happen before we die ideally many times, but we have to die to the ego to let it The more the soul rises resurrects in this life The more love is present here inside us Meaning the soul is all we are when we come into this life And it's all that will be when we leave it if you can stand there at the beginning Then you will know the end which is a love that only ever expands Then according to the legend Caesar was like ha. Yeah, right A person can no more resurrect than that egg in your hand turned red The egg immediately turned red. The next section is called the body never lies What you say you say in a body You can say nothing outside this body. You must awaken while in this body for everything exists in it Resurrect in this life the gospel of Philip There came a point when words were no longer useful I sank into the clear cut knowing of what needed to be done every move I made was intentional unequivocal And that's certainly that blazing truth spoke for itself I began to experience how much less I can do for the rest of my life if I choose The body never lies Letting go of the need to explain myself with words or saying why I needed to do something or when was the most powerful I have ever been For example when the midwives wheeled over a huge ass four-leaf mirror The kind you check your outfit in before going out and started positioning it so I could see my son's head emerging All I needed to do was allow it to not exist I didn't need to get angry to tell them to get that thing out of my face or my fanny rather I just continued doing what I had been doing which was everything. I already knew I needed to do in order to get my son safely into this world My inside was my outside. I was nothing more or less than who I am I didn't need to explain to them that seeing his image outside of me was a distraction It took me away from the awareness. I already had from within The image of the mirror provided was awareness once removed. I already had direct awareness I could see him but with a sense the heart's capacity of a far broader and more precise sight than the eyes will ever provide for us I could sense that something was wrong that his position was making it difficult for him to descend I knew in a way I couldn't translate that he was healthy and strong and that he would make it through this and that I would Birth him and not need the c-section. They had alerted the surgeon. I was heading towards I never said a word though. I never said anything except the passionate repetition of one name And this is the part of my birth story. It has taken years and this book to reconcile Because the body never lies 48 hours earlier. I had been born that I was going to need to be induced the next morning So my husband and I walked the full length of Manhattan We ate an amazing meal had some red wine And some impressive sex impressive because of my size That night I stood up from the couch in my little black maternity dress and my water broke It wasn't biblical, but it felt like a triumph I started to strut around the apartment.  I was already at three and a half centimeters dilated I come from a long line of natural child birthing women I siphoned my confidence from this fact and I trusted I would be counted among them I went into the hospital shower and stood with my hands braced against the wall to support me as each new and more Painful contraction wracked my body The hot water pounded against the center of my back and slid over my sacrum soothing me when the painful contractions receded I used the word pain, but this isn't accurate at all Pain doesn't begin to describe what would happen in intervals to my entire being here. I have it now It felt as if slowly and with great success. I was being deboned It felt as if my pelvis was being pushed in increments down through my body for the pressure of each contraction I labored that way for most of the night Before dawn I moved back to bed for the midwife to check on me I knew from a look on her face as her gloved hand gently Investigated that she wasn't finding what she had hoped I could read her as if her thoughts were written on a cue card out in front of her. It was not good news She said that I actually gone down a centimeter I was now only at two and a half centimeters dilated up until this point I had began managing the deboning with breath work and the hot water and sheer undiluted resolve And it all felt worth it because it was productive But exhaustion and dread began to set in after I realized I had labored for all that time And it actually managed to close myself back up again I had managed to labor in the wrong direction As I remember it now I went straight into the unimaginable pain It was worse than being deboned It felt as if all along without me realizing it or any doctors seeing it on an x-ray or a sonogram machine My pelvis was actually made of thick translucent glass And my son's small but hard bowling ball of the head had gotten itself wedged into this miraculous glass Pelvis in a way where instead of managing through it or finding a way to shift and turn so he could fit His skull had actually shattered it My pelvis shattered into shreds of glass and with each next contraction the countless shards pierced me from the inside out I can't really say that I said his name the first time I heard myself say it I didn't even realize it was me calling out for him This was the point where the words no longer served a purpose This was the point where I crossed the threshold. I knew I could never come back from Within each new wave of shards of glass embedding themselves deeper into my body I only said his name again and again Jesus Christ And I didn't know until the pain embodied me so fully that this existed That he was the truth that lived within me beyond the words and reason The only truth real enough to match the intensity of the pain As if the pain was a flamethrower and with each new contraction it consumed everything within me that wasn't real Until all that remained was this stowaway love that had always been there A love that I had fought against a love that I had denied A love that I built an iron wall around my heart to keep me safe from a love I never needed to find a love that has been with me my entire life from the inside out And I never needed to ask for an epidural It was communicated so clearly through the state that I had endured I remember the nod I gave my husband. It was a nod It was a nod so telling he just immediately set out to find the doctor She was a vision as she entered the room She was at least six months pregnant, maybe seven. This felt like a blessing Her head scarf was as white as her white medical coat I was still calling his name as if it was the only elixir for managing the pain So she followed suit and began to repeat Allah With each next contraction until I could hold still for no longer enough for her to insert that horrifyingly long needle into my spine We locked eyes as the medication began to reach my shattered glass pelvis and coated with numbness Which felt like warm honey. We locked eyes and said nothing It said everything we could ever need to communicate because everything in that moment was human And everything was holy The next section was mary magdalene was not a prostitute I said to him so now lord does a person who sees a vision see it with a soul or with a spirit The savior answered a person does not see with the soul or the spirit rather the mind Which exists between these two sees the vision and that is what? The gospel of mary chapter seven verses five through seven I remember how what the fuck I felt when I first saw this passage from the chapter seven and mary's gospel gets caught off right in the clincher All three copies of mary's gospel have the same answer torn from it We can only imagine what christ was about to tell mary the gospel won't start up again until four pages later And it also resumes mid-sentence as if we passed out just before christ was going to tell us how we perceive a vision from within And then we wake up again while mary's telling us about the powers that keep the soul bound There's so much. We don't know There's so much. I don't know I've been studying mary magdalene for two decades as a scholar as a theologian And as a devout seeker compelled by a force I can't name or entirely understand to know who she really was and to interpret the significance of her gospel And the effort has humbled me There is so much that remains a mystery. This is why I love humility Whenever I let it sweep over me. It's like changing into flats after realizing I have been in high heels for too long There's so much that we don't have empirical truth to rest on what speaking about her or who she was Though there is however one thing we know for certain mary magdalene was not a prostitute And this is not a commentary about prostitution I often get a wave of defense when I've written or spoken about this before But this is not about sex workers and the sacredness of the body Though I appreciate that mary magdalene had been a patroness Of those who had felt shamed by our culture in relation to the body for centuries And I think there is a beauty in the story that she was a prostitute There's a beauty in the story of a woman who loved much and was forgiven much It's a story of the senator turned saint and who can't identify with that. It's a good story It's just not mary magdalene's story It's simply not true Maybe there's so much we can't verify so much of the evidence the scripture that would attest to the truth of who she was Has been tampered with burned edited or destroyed The most damaging of what is the capacity of our own imagination to even conceive of the idea that she may have been the most significant figure in christ's life Because of the two millennia of homilies and sermons and interpretations of her as a prostitute Rather than one of the first apostles in the early form of the church But her status as a prostitute is verifiable and it's not true So what happened How did mary magdalene become the penitent prostitute if christian theologians in the lat west were going to establish an Exclusionary male church Then the central figure to christ's story mary magdalene Painted to be retold Starting in the fourth century with the formation of the traditional bible all the gospels that confirmed mary's spiritual authority And unique relationship with christ were excluded from the canon and deemed heretical Like the gospel of mary the gospel of philip the gospel of thomas And the scriptures that confirmed and validated women's leadership in the earliest forms of christianity like the acts of polythecla were also excluded Over the centuries christ became less and less human He was depicted as a chaste onistic purely divine and mary magdalene went Underwent the inverse transformation She became more and more human More sinful until the sixth century when pope gregarie sealed the deal on her depiction In his interpretation of christ's healing Mary by freeing her of seven demons Pope gregarie conflated mary magdalene as both the unnamed sinner and luke seven who anointed christ feet And the mary of luke eight and the bark 16 who was freed of all of her demons by christ And then he interpreted these passages as confirming mary's sinfulness had something to do with her sexuality Seven demons translated to him as a prostitute no question As sythia borgo explains the shadow side of christianity's Notoriously undoubted with issues around human sexuality and feminine get projected directly onto her Pope gregarie's homily 33 set the precedent that the faithful should hold mary as a penitent whore This interpretation of mary had a very clear agenda Reinforced the view that women were seen primarily in terms of their sexuality and not their spiritual nature Dr. Cary King explains that his fiction of mary magdalene as the whore created by the church solved two problems at once It undermined did both the teachings associated with mary and wim's capacity to take the leadership's roles With this interpretation of mary as the penitent prostitute as king laminates her radical heritage has been tamed and erased Finally in 1969 which if we do the math is a math thousand one thousand three hundred seventy eight years after After gregarie's fusion of mary magdalene and the unnamed center as proof of her prostitution The church officially corrected his mistake or to be clear his misogamy And this admission came 450 years after religious scholars had rejected it as fiction as just flat out historically inaccurate However, the image of the interpretation of mary magdalene as the penitent prostitute continues to be preached It is remained in the place behind the pulpit and deep set in the popular imagination July 22nd is mary magdalene's feast day in the catholic tradition I'm writing this chapter on july 22nd 2018 She was recently rehabilitated from the penitent prostitute to the apostle to the apostles by pope francis Although it's important to make clear. She's still not considered an apostle herself Let alone the first So we've established what religious historians and now even the pope knows she was not mary magdalene was not a prostitute What then do we know about her that isn't fiction? Let's start with this the historical figure mary magdalene was a prominent jewish woman a benefactress of jewish ministry a visionary and a leading apostle in the earliest christian christian movement Her status as the apostle to the apostle comes from the secret teachings or transmission that she received christ according to her gospel Actually, uh, she's wrong there mary magdalene was not jewish. She was greek She was not jewish. She was greek Actually yashua wasn't even jewish. So I know that's going to ruffle some feathers, but the truth will set you free mary magdalene was a greek descent She was not jewish Her epithet magdalene comes from the fact that she was born in the town magdala Located in prestate israel on the west shore of the sea of gallilee just north of the city of tiberias And although mary magdalene is often depicted as having red hair And colvir white skin as it from ireland. It's more hysterically accurate To depict her as is from ancient israel. No, no, no, no, no, that's incorrect. She was not from magdala again the Downfall of the matrix of religion. It's going to be really hard for people She was not from magdala and she was actually blonde hair blue-eyed. All right, so she was she was greek Okay, um, she was not from magdala and she was not jewish and she came from a very very very powerful greek family directly through the tolamé line of Egypt So that's not true Megan waterson. That's not true All right, according to the conical conical gospels, mary magdalene was Present at the crucifixion. She was there at the burial and she was there alone at the empty tune And she is the first to witness the resurrection. Let me say that again Mary magdalene was the one price resurrection to In the gospel john price gives mary magdalene special instructions and commissions her to be the one to announce the good news Her she is the one he chooses once again. I'm starting to believe he was never actually crucified I think the resurrection story has Very different meaning in the original Teachings is more the resurrection of the soul within the death of the ego versus an actual Luciferian satanic ritual, which was his crucifixion was actually satanic And I think that story was added in later in at the council of nicaea to trick people into worshiping Mithra the story of mithra Not the story of yashua and magdalene The word apostle comes from the great word Apostle us meaning the one who was sent mary status as the apostle to the apostle also comes from this moment when mary is the one Who is sent by christ to tell the other disciples that he has been resurrected Without her capacity to receive this vision of the christ from within her to see that he has risen the other Disciples would not have become apostles themselves Mary magdalene is one of the main speakers in several first second century texts according to the dialogues of christ with his disciples After the resurrection Like the sophia of jesus christ from the second century Where mary is one of the seven women and 12 men who gathered to hear christ as after the resurrection Also, the third century text the pistas sophia where mary is Permanent among the disciples because as christ explains in it You are she whose heart is more directed to the kingdom of heaven than all of your brothers And in the gospel of philip whose cockpit version dates to 250 ad and whose greek version dates further back to 150 ad mary is named as the companion of christ The word in greek is canosis It translates as companion partner or consort Logan 55 the gospel of philip reads the companion of the sun is mariam of magdala The teacher loved her more than all the disciples. He often kissed her on the mouth The gospel of mary confirms that mary had gone through a process that allowed her to see christ from within her She could receive a vision of him And the fact that mary can see christ according to her gospel Is the proof that she has become a child of true humanity Fully human and fully divine That process involves going through the seven powers of the ego Which is how i interpret the seven demon in order to unbind her soul Or in order to remember that she is also a soul And not just this mortal stressed out perpetually threatened ego That will die with the body and death before christ gets cut off by whoever found his full response to mary's question to Incendiary for us to know he tells her that a person sees a vision with the mind Which is between the soul and the spirit And we know at this point that the greek word for mind is no Is actually the highest aspect of the soul the soul's angel The aspect of the soul we could perceive while embodied This is what the hessie cast experienced as existing within the heart that treasure house inside of us The no is like the microphone or the movie projector within the heart that translates the ancient and amazing truths Our own soul wants to say to us while we're here living and can still use this tremendous opportunity Of being an embodied soul to evolve Rumi suggests that everyone sees the unseen and proportion to the clarity of their hearts This is what i think mary magdalene achieved through this process. Her gospel relates I think mary had clarity of heart And this is how and why she could perceive christ So why now after two millennia of being misunderstood? Her spiritual authority her ministry and her gospel being buried and silenced. Why is she now rising in stature? Why are we suddenly curious about this woman who has stood in plain daylight as the central figure in christ life? If you ask me this first, I would tell you that the truth is of phoenix and can never be buried Truth will always emerge from the ashes and find its way to the surface of our consciousness Next I will tell you that I think we are finally ready for her teachings For the other half of the story that began not with christ birth, but with his resurrection The story of a potential we all possess while we're human To be the bridge between heaven and earth The story of a woman who was beloved to christ not because she followed him Or worshiped him like an idol or being far greater than she could ever be but rather because she followed his example And became the love that he was also And I would tell you that this love she became is what our world needs most desperately It's a love that renders all things sacred from animals to the angels From the poorest to the most powerful It's a love that sees the inherent worth in all living things Mary Magdalene is the embodiment of love that reaches where it has never before Mary Magdalene is most associated with Easter with the resurrection because she was the one there at the tomb The one who waited in the dark passed his death in absence She was the one he resurrected to She was the first to see him And she only recognized it was him when he called her by name But let's back up I think it's significant to realize that she didn't just happen to be there in the right place at the right time There's a prominence inherent in the fact that she was the one to be there to see him first There's a love we've overlooked for so long The human love between two people As a love that never ends And I think it's time we recognized it I've always wondered how the story of the resurrection would shift fundamentally If we realized that it was also a story about a love we all possess That when we can let love reach where it has never been before out past the ego's idea of self Then we quite literally come back to life We die and resurrect Hopefully several times at least before we pass away into whatever's next for us In chapter 20 of the gospel of john titled the risen life from a new new testament Mary is weeping for the loss of christ's body outside the empty tune when she sees two angels clothed in white Standing there where the body of christ had been I've always loved this for two reasons First that she could see angels at all But second and more significantly that when she's at her most human Sobbing and feeling separate from christ when she's at her most broken and vulnerable This is when she can perceive the angels And they ask her why are you weeping? They ask from their position of already knowing that she could never be separate from christ And that he is in fact already standing behind her She lets them know that she's crying because she misses his physical form She loved him entirely body and soul And then she turns and christ asked her the exact same question the angels asked her Why are you weeping? But she doesn't know yet. This is the presence she sees before her. She thinks he's the gardener And shows she repeats her need to tend to his actual flesh to find his human form and care after it This is when he calls out to her Mary And hearing her name and his voice she knows again that christ is with her And that he had in fact never left I've always imagined that although physically She was at the tomb in the garden of a cemetery. She met with christ in a place that's far less literal And far more difficult to describe I've imagined that this meeting she has with him takes place not because Of sight but because of vision I think she could perceive him with a spiritual aptitude that exists only in the heart It's a re-education to see mary magdalene as an apostle as a beloved disciple of christ considered worthy enough to want to return to first Worthy enough to want to have her as his witness to come to her in the dark beyond death Because he knew she was the one who could see him with her heart It's a re-education to think that christ needed mary's love in order to resurrect in order to be witnessed Just as the angels need to know how worthy we are to perceive them I love imagining that his ministry and hers are still Inextricably linked that his purpose was fulfilled because she was there to meet him And that he was only able to bridge heaven and earth because of a human love between them A love to imagine that we might still have a love story to an earth A love that has been age after age making its way to the surface of our consciousness A love we are finally ready for A love that is as human as it is divine And friends, I think we're actually going to stop it there We're going to end up doing three parts of part five So next week we'll start with No one was there to witness the witness In our part five C In my opinion, one of the most beautiful aspects of this book truly is the love between the madeline and the christ The love that went beyond the physical realm but into the quantum into all the dimensions And I do believe going into this new age of aquarius We all are experiencing that deep profound love that as megan waterson writes is fully human and fully divine