Welcome back to The Breakfast here on PLOS TV Africa. Away from getting young people into the electoral and political space, let's move to Kaduna State, where Reverend Joseph Hayab, the chairman, Christian Association of Nigeria, is joining us via Zoom to share on the current issues in Kaduna State. Good morning Reverend Hayab. Good morning and thank you for having me. Thanks for joining us. We received news this morning that four more of the Bethel Baptist students have been set free or have been found. Quickly share with us what the current situation is. Yes, the night of Sunday after the release of the 28th, four of our children escaped. Three of them were lucky to have been found by a good Samaritan who brought them home. One of them was unlucky. He was found by a greedy Nigeria who, instead of bringing them home, decided to call and negotiate his own side rate to show you how people have become heartless in our country. That night he had to insist after long negotiation within the hours to collect 130,000 from us and even instruct us to buy a small phone or 5,000 for him and some recharge card for 5,000, then he collected cash, 120,000. But in all, four of them are back to their parents and we have 83 years with the captain. Well, I'm shocked. As the person who collected 130,000 been arrested, was he reported to the police yet? Who is going to arrest him? You see, the situation we have is that if these children can even escape the way they escape. Just because at this point, these are not too far from where our security confers them. Look at the ages of these children, but you see, it's just something, you will go and be answering questions. You know, when people are in such situation, I am fond of using adage now, like our brothers from the East. There's an adage that says that if someone is in danger, even if you give him a night, he's going to grab it as long as he's going to escape. So I think that the situation we are now, we are doing virtually everything as long as our children will come back. The issues about who arrest him, well, we don't know, we'll catch up with him very soon. But you know, if we divide ourselves into, divide our attention into that, we'll just get ourselves into more problems. Focus down on this, get our children home first. And so, you know, this of course, makes me ask about the interest and the efforts of security agencies in either negotiating or getting these kids released, because if you have four kids, you know, escape, and it's not the first time that we're hearing of anybody, of kids escaping, I think that was something that happened a couple of days ago, sometimes last week. They should be able to trail or ask the kids to, you know, take them back or direct them to where the rest of them are. So is there any security effort at all? You see, I'm a pastor and a church leader. I don't want to do security work. You know, one of the challenges with Nigeria is that when you start guiding our leaders or offer advice, you will say, you want to teach me my job. And so sometimes we don't want to become teachers of people in their job. Our goal is to do our own role, playing the role of a parent, playing the role of a church leader, playing the role of a pastor. My job is to start with this parent, start with these children onto their back. I don't want to go and teach people their job. I think they are better off. One of the things that I can say in this medium is that it was when we have even gotten those 28 students, passed them onto their parents and I was driving back to town from the school before I got a call from police asking me what happened, how did we get them? How did we find them? You can't believe this. So I don't want to start teaching people their job because the more we explain these things, some people who probably see us as friends start getting angry because we are speaking bad of their work. But Nigerians know that something is wrong. Things are not going the way it's supposed to be. Revan Hayab, is there any confirmation with regards to the payment of ransom? Has any money been exchanged hands? Are there still negotiations going on? Well, you see, the other day I did explain this that I don't want to belong to the school of saying there was no money that was given. The only thing I'm not going to get involved now is how much was given because the focus is to get the remaining children back. But truly money was given, simple. And what they wanted from us, we gave them. And even they requested for additional food. We gave them before the initial release of the 28th. So it's not that there's no another new negotiation. Why they chose to give it to start releasing them in bodies is something we cannot explain. But from our negotiation and understanding with them, it was done. They're supposed to just release all of them to us and nothing more. Why are all these things happening? Since I'm not part of the bandit who connected to them, I'll only make a guesswork and I don't want to make guesswork for Nigeria. I'm going to speak what I know and what I don't know. I leave it on to when I'm sure of it and I'm going to say it. So there was a conversation. Money, food was asked. First, we gave their ask for money. Yes, the church didn't give the money, but parents wanted their children to come out as we brought them. So they contributed the money as it was expected. They gave and it was delivered. They promised they were going to release the children. They do not release and insist another food should be brought. Food was sent again the second time. Then a day or two later, they said, is it something that we say to people? The day they actually collected the money, we're hoping that they went to release the children indeed. And when we call them, they just tell us, I'm sorry, we've gone to town, so we couldn't give you the children today. That means they are connected with somewhere in the town. Where do they go to town? Huge money like that, they must have gone to the city where the boss who is in charge is doing. The problem is that these people were not seeing them one to one to talk. We are communicating with them on phone. I have been asking myself, the need registration we force and trouble Nigerians to do. Why is it not affecting these people that we are communicating with them and no one can trap them? It's only affecting innocent I am when I express myself. Recently when there was a ban on Twitter and I just posted my concern about the ban, security were sending it to me to show me they have seen it. And I just laughed. If they can see what I said about the ban on Twitter, why are they not seeing what these evil people are doing and they've not gone after them? It's a shame in our country. What is the, this is too sad. What is the current state of these parents? I said it a couple of days ago that Nigerians across the country must have run into debt trying to raise funds to pay ransom. So when we're talking, I'm guessing millions of Naira now from people who normally wouldn't have these funds available. So what is the current state of these parents who have had to source funds to get their kids back, including those who still haven't gotten their kids back? Well, we are trusting God that there will be no additional funds, but sourcing that phone wasn't easy for many parents. I remember one of them yesterday I called and she was in hospital. The hospital view was even difficult. This way and managed to get the phone to contribute as part of her daughter. It's quite, it's exactly the picture you're seeing. That's the woman and her daughter. It's quite sad. That's the widow, the wife of one of my late friends. That's her only daughter and she's doing no work. Brother, sometimes when I speak about this I'm really, really, really hot in my mind. But there's nothing we can do. Parents are in depth, truly, truly speaking. But what else can you say? We just pray that with life, there's hope we can get it over the sins. Is there any word from the governor of God in our state, as it stands? He is in praise of God and his son consigned. His son consigned. He is the star of the world. That's the word. So I'm just repeating what they've been saying. He has been bringing his son consigned. So that's the word he's showing consigned. Oh, we've had a lot of consigned. We don't want consigned anymore. We want action that will stop our children from becoming afraid of coming out. See, yesterday, before you may not ask this, the paramour ruler of white tribe, an 83-year-old man, over 80, who has been a paramour life, his class team for over 40 years, was kidnapped. So if as highly-placed people like that would be kidnapped, though it was in his family, that's to show you that everywhere, nowhere he said it. So this is a challenge we are having in Canada state at the moment. So all the government will tell us that he has been briefed, he's showing consigned, and then all the person who speaks and should know that consigned is not enough, is an enemy or he's identifying with an interest. So he was quite sad. But my focus as a leader now is, honestly, how these children can come back and how these parents will. Because those parents whose children are not back are really angry and not happy. Oh, we are consoling them. We are giving them assurance, but you know it's not easy. I'm not going to lie about that. It's not easy. I can't even imagine what this would feel like. Can you share with us? Because you look like you need to also rest. So we would have to let you go in a bit. Can you also share with us what the kids are saying, what they've been through while in captivity? Does any of them have any health challenges that needs to be quickly addressed? I just told you one that was in all of us. Actually, all those children had to be taken to hospital. All of them. And some of them are still. Some, because of their strength in their body, they didn't last long, but a good number of them are still in hospital. Same, the daughter of my late friend is still in hospital with her mother. I'm not a medical expert. So the doctors are caring for them. One of the parents who spoke to me this morning told me, look, my son had to vomit twice and it was so bad, that he's stabilizing. He's still in hospital, he's stabilizing. I said, well, let's do it. Because we didn't take them out to the hospital ourselves. We allowed the parents to take them to their own hospital since we have the other 80 something to attend to. We didn't want to have a divided mind. We're only asking information.  What is going on? But at the moment, a good number of them are in hospital. I think their parents will be in better position to say, what is their condition? But the few that have spoken to me told me they are improving. We hope so. I could see many of them couldn't walk the other day. I just hope that they can walk better. You can see from the picture there that your man is finding it difficult to walk. When you look at their foods, you will know that these children went through hell. And they look absolutely traumatized. I'm also going to be, of course, hopeful that the Rest 83 are released pretty soon. I'm going to let you go in a bit. But I want to ask, if these ones who are being able to escape, does that in any way show that the kidnappers are losing capacity to hold all these kids any longer? Since kidnapping business started in Canada, people have always escaped somehow. So that shows that these kidnappers are not what we are reaching them to be. I think what really is the problem is we don't have the will to go after them. They are not what we are reaching them to be. But we don't have the will to go after them. When we go after them, I'm not a security guard, but I was born and brought up because my father served and fight in the army, in the civil war. So I grew up in the barracks. I have some knowledge of these things. I have served in many paramilitary organizations as a volunteer. I believe that we have capacity in Nigeria, that we can stop these people using technology, using modern equipment, using everything within our reach. These uses we are giving that we are just afraid of casualties have only made more casualties. So we just need to be honest to ourselves. Our leaders will love you, but we are just angry because we are not doing it right. If you see us expressing anger, the best know where all of us can be governor and president. They want just one person. Our job is to see you do it right. When you do it right, we will come to this same studio and press you. But when you do it wrong, we'll sit here and complain and tell you you are not doing right. So our government have what it takes. Our situation has what it takes. The question that is begging for answer is why are they not doing it? Why are they giving some excuses that even a layman will know that these excuses are not tenable? And I bring back this rhetoric question. How could these small children in this age understand what it means to escape from these bandits? And we are telling them the areas where they escaped and they cannot condone that area and start something. Look, strategically, these children supposed not to even last one week. They're supposed to have scared these people. But it has not worked. We just keep talking because the way we think we want to deal with security is talking, talking, talking. No action. Revan Ayab, can you also speak with regards closing down schools in Kaduna? Would you agree that that should be, you know, the step that should be taken currently until, you know, this is all over? If that step is wrong, then you cannot have an option than to accept that step now because of the situation. Because if you say that step is wrong and you don't want it and no children like you now will still come back to the same well-in table. So if that step is really a step to give them time to walk out security measures, to give alternative places for schools, honestly, they have my support. Because at the moment, you just have to understand what we're all going through. So any option that will reduce these things will pray and ask God to bless that option so that it will happen. That's really sad. We, of course, hope that the traditional ruler that you mentioned, the 83-year-old, I hope that he also is set free as quickly as possible. And many of these 83 kids also find their way back home. Reverend Joseph Hyab, you need to rest. But thank you very much for joining us. And we hope to speak to you again. Thank you. We'll take a short break here on the breakfast and we'll be back. Stay with us.


come together and bless the Lord. Hallelujah. It's worship time. I hope you have a yes in your heart. Mighty. He loves us. He's our Heavenly Father. Everybody pray and thank the Lord. Hallelujah, Father, in the name of Jesus. We come into your presence this morning with a grateful heart. Thank you for being our Lord and Savior. Thank you for saving us out of our sins. Thank you for putting your Holy Spirit within us. Hallelujah. You said you'd never leave us nor forsake us. We love you, Lord. We love you. We honor you. We came to praise you this morning to give you thanks, Lord, for everything you've done in our lives. Hallelujah. Lord, I ask you to touch the hearts of those who hear the word this morning.  Hallelujah. To get them ready for heaven in the name of Jesus. Hallelujah. Be glorified, Lord, in all that we say and do this morning. Hallelujah. We give you thanks. We praise you. We honor you. We bow in your presence. Have your way in our service today. Lord, we came to glorify you and praise you. We came to lift you up. Hallelujah. You're our Lord and Savior. You're our King. You're our Deliverer. You're our hope. You're our salvation. You're our peace. Hallelujah. All that we need and all that we desire is in you. We honor you today and we give you thanks. Hallelujah. Be glorified, Lord, in Jesus' name. Thank you, Jesus. Amen. Thank God. Praise the Lord. Thanks. I'll be reading to you a hearing. Songs 103. It says, bless the Lord, O my soul and all that is within me. Bless his holy name.  May the Lord add a blessing to the reading and hearing of his word. Hallelujah. My soul says yes to the Lord. Hallelujah. This is the day that the Lord has made. We will be glad and rejoicing and rejoicing in the Lord. Rejoice the righteous today. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. It's a time of celebration because our God is holy. He's mighty, line of Judah. Name of Jesus today. It's worthy. Oh, we thank you after the Lord. I'm no matter what the rest of me. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Jesus. At this time, we'll have Sister Amber Wise come with us solo. Amen. And we are chasing after the Lord. Amen. Hallelujah. If we're not chasing after him, there's nothing else to chase after. Amen. Hallelujah. And we love him more than anything. Amen. Worship with us as we sing this morning. That should be the sentiment. That should be the sentiment of each of our lives. When I think of the goodness of Jesus and all that he's done for me, my soul cries out, Hallelujah.  Come on. Let's give him some praise. Come on. Let's adore him. Hallelujah. Lord. The song says, I love you more than anything that I love. I love the sunshine and the rain. Whoever you're in love with, Junebug or Susie Q, the Lord, in all of the love that I have for anything, for silver or gold, for houses or land, I love you more. I love you above everything that is. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I thank God for that song. The Lord sends a message to the church and we're being encouraged today to love on Jesus. Oh, there are many things to take our attention away, but we need to keep our eyes steadfast, steadfast on Jesus. He's the Savior. He's our Lord and our Master and we love him. Find a way. Find a way. Find a way. You don't love above everything. Find a way. You may be seated, Lord, for that song and the reason I wanted to continue that song with us all standing is because I wanted everybody to have an opportunity to express themselves to Jesus. He's what it's all about. The song says, I love him better every day. I love him better every day close by his side there I'll abide because I love him better every day. God is so good. We're privileged to be back in his house again on this Sunday morning so that we might join our voices in praise and adoration to the king of kings and the Lord of lords and it doesn't get any better than that. King of kings. He's the king's king. He's the Lord's Lord and we worship him because he's our Father. Anybody excited because you belong to Jesus? I'm glad to be back home on this morning. We were away back in St. Louis for a few days. It was quite refreshing. We did a lot of things. We did a lot of resting. Amen. And I thank the Lord because I feel like going home. Amen. Good to see each of you who are here. The Lord has a message for the church today. It's not a new message. It's not a new message. I'm afraid for people who come to preach who have a new message. My experience has been when I find a preacher who preachers something new sure enough when we check when we check the data we find out it's not new or it's something he made up. But I came to bring you a message from Jesus Christ the righteous. And I want to talk to us today from the book of Luke chapter 18 beginning at verse 18 through 30. And you might be surprised what's developed in this text. What this text points to is eternal life. There's eternal life from different positions eternal life with Jesus and the saints in heaven.  I want to point out to you from this message today the Lord is going to help us to know how to approach eternal life. Many people think that eternal life is free. That it costs nothing. But I want to tell you this is a false concept. That eternal life does cost. And I want to pose this question to eternity. How much does it cost? Eternity. How much does it cost? And wise people before they are connected to any kind of business venture they first want to know how much does it cost? Can I afford it? What is this going to do to my future? How will I make it through successfully? I need to know how much does it cost? Well in this text today I'll tell you up front the cost is high. The cost is high. But the pay is great. The cost is high but the pay is great. At this 18th verse it talks about a ruler, a rich young ruler is what we commonly know it of, and a certain ruler asked him saying, Good Master what shall I do to inherit eternal life? Jesus said unto him why are you calling me good? He said none is good save one. That is God. Now in that challenge we see that Jesus was trying to bring this young ruler into knowledge that Jesus is God. And in that community they didn't call people good master regularly. So Jesus said to him only God is good. Jesus asked are you calling me God? Jesus said unto him why calleth thou me God? None is good save one. That is God. Then in the next verse he said thou knoweth the commandments. Do not commit adultery. Do not kill. Do not steal. Do not bear false witness. Honor thy father and thy mother. And the man said all these have I kept from my youth up. And I'll stop to point out to you that the previous verse, the 20th verse, he's being questioned about his skills and abilities to deal with people. He's asking him about his desire to commit adultery. Everything he asked about is what is your relationship to other people. He said are you willing to kill? Are you willing to steal? Are you willing to go and bear false witness in court?  And the man answered all these have I kept from my youth up. Now when Jesus heard these things he said unto him yet like a thou one thing. Sell all that thou hast and distribute unto the poor. Thou shall have treasure in heaven and come follow me. When he heard this he was very sorrowful for he was not rich. He was very rich. And what came to his mind in my opinion was he began to think about all that he loved more than he loved Jesus. He said Jesus you're asking me to give up everything that I've worked so hard for. He said perhaps none of this was given to me. I had to earn every dime and I got up early and I worked hard. I stayed up late. I didn't splurge. I saved my money. That's how I've obtained the riches that I have and you're saying to me give it all up? Sell it. Not just sell it but sell it then give it away. Well Lord as I think about it if I sold it I certainly wouldn't want to give it to people who don't have nothing because if they were like me they'd be rich like I am. If they hadn't in since they'd have gone to the college I went to they'd have put in the long hours of study burning the midnight oil and they could be standing right here where I am with all the riches that I have and they don't deserve it. And after he considered that he made up in his mind on the spot. It costs too much. It costs too much. If you had asked me to give half of the way I could have considered that because I do have some charity in my heart but you're asking me to give all of my stuff up. Verse 24 said and when Jesus saw that he was sorrowful he said how heartily shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God. Now in another account of this it says and he went away sorrowful. He wanted eternal life. He wanted to have it on his own terms and Jesus said you can't do that. You can't have it on your terms. You can't give up the part that you want to give up and hold on to the rest of it. He said it's going to cost you to inherit eternal life. He said nobody's throwing it away like they're spreading seed in a field just tossing it out in the basket and anybody who catch on to some of it or if the ground catches it that it'll benefit by the seed. He said it costs you to get eternal life. So Jesus said how difficult, how heartily shall they that have riches enter into the kingdom of God. He didn't say that it's impossible. He said the wealthy are going to have a tough time. The wealthy are going to find it difficult to enter God's kingdom because they're still in a fleshly body born in sin, shape in iniquity, didn't love God, didn't love his people and when they get to a certain level they find that they have so much. I've accomplished my goal. I can't think of another thing that I need or want. When you get to that place and that point in your life you've gotten too much success. You're raised to a height that is beyond your ability to handle because then you begin to figure out how you can make it on your own. You figure out how you don't have to hit your knees when you get to a place where there's no more meal in the barrel. You don't know what to do. You can't make things come out right unless you take control of it. Come on somebody. Scripture says the steps of a good man is ordered by the Lord and when the Lord orders your steps you'll never wind up in a dead end in a cul-de-sac. Come on, the Lord will lead you. The Lord will guide you. He'll direct your steps but you've got to give up all of your stuff. A foolish of us to think that we can equal the wisdom of God. And so Jesus clearly says, He states clearly in this that you've got to give up everything that you are and everything that belongs to you. Oh, I wish I had some amen. I know I'm right. You know why I know I'm right? Because the Bible said it. He said it's difficult for rich folks to get into the kingdom of God. Well, I thought that the Scripture said that he has no respect to person. No, he doesn't have respect to person. He has respect for the will of people. And then he said, I'll tell you how difficult it is for the rich to get to heaven. He said it is easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye. You know how you have to do when you thread the needle? That's why they created those little buttons with the wire on the end. Push the wire through the needle, put the thread in and then pull it. Jesus wasn't talking about that. He said he's talking about the difficulty of one being able to come in control of themselves when their pockets are full of silver and gold. Your mind is not calibrated to deal with great riches because the Scripture says money answers all things. Yes, money answers your gas bill. Money answers your insurance policy. And I could go on and on and on telling you what it answers, but it doesn't answer eternal life. Verse 25, it's easier for a camel to go through a needle's eye than a rich man to enter into God's kingdom. And they that heard it said, who then can be saved? The disciples felt somewhat like the rich men because they had some stuff just as we have some stuff. Each and every one of us, we have some possessions that we feel are near and dear to us and we want to hold on to our possessions. All right, I'm not hearing no amen. I know without a doubt, each of us have something we want to hold on to because it's precious to us. And so that's how the disciples felt when Jesus put that on them. They said, then who can be saved? And here's what the question, how the question comes to me at this point, that's when they have to say how much does it cost? How much does it cost to be saved? You know what it costs you to be saved? You know what it costs for me to inherit eternal life? Same thing that it costs the young ruler. It's going to cost you everything. Everything, it's going to cost you. You got to give up everything and throw yourself at the foot of the cross and tell them, Lord Jesus, I've got to have you in my life. I can't make it by myself. I'm striven. I tried to do what was right and right is just not in me. Come on, admit it. Right is not in you unless you got Jesus down on the inside. You need a regulator that's going to tell you, stop it. You can't do that. You need something in you that tells you, you need to get closer to Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. So now that we know what it costs, it costs everything. The next verse said, and he said, the things which are impossible with men are possible with God. You need God. You've got to have a relationship with God or you can't make it no matter how you try, no matter what you do, how you finagle without God on your side, you'll never inherit eternal life. The things which are impossible with men, it's impossible for a man in his own to get through into eternity that it is for a camel to get through an eye of a needle. It's impossible for a camel to do that without God. Here's breaking news. Whatever it is that you want to do and you're trying to do it without God, that's going to be impossible. You can't make it. You can't do it. It cannot happen for you without God. Well, then try to plead your cause. Try to figure it out. Then Peter said, Lord, we have left all and follow thee. Why didn't you tell us how much it was going to cost before we got started on the journey? Look like you should have just told us what it was going to cost. But now we left everything, everything that we owned and we left our property. We left our families. We left things that we cherished to a high level. And now we hear this news. We got to give it all up. Well, well, I want to take you to the book of Now and Later. In in the early 60s, there was a candy company in Brooklyn, New York, and they produced a product. They called it Now and Later. And what they were inferring is that once you get some of this candy, you'll be satisfied because you're going to have some now, and then you can have some later. So it's called Now and Later. And so this is what Jesus said to them after Peter laid that out. Oh, we followed you. And what are we going to get? He said, listen up, pal. He said unto them, verily, I say unto you, there is no man that has left house or parents or brethren or wife or children for the kingdom of God's sake who shall not receive manifold more in the press of time. And not only in the press of time while you're chewing on that, something else is waiting for you at the end of your journey.  It's not going to be easy. You've got to pay the price. You've got to sacrifice for eternal life. Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah. Now that's the end of my message, but we need to understand. We need to shout on that. We need to understand that in another account of this at this point, they said that that that they received hundreds of thousands more. Now let me ask you in your experience, if you'll be fair, are you doing better now than you were before? Jesus found you?  Do all kinds of ungodly stuff? Are you doing better than they are?  Without Jesus on your side, you're nothing. You're like a ship without a sail, wandering to and fro, up and down, trying to find satisfaction. But I want to point you to Jesus. Come to Jesus. Come to Jesus. Give yourself to Him. Surrender your will. Say, Lord, not my will. Come on, somebody. I've been saying my will all the time, all along the way. And I insist it on having my way. You can't make it to heaven. You can't get eternal life having it your way. I want some of the now and later. Come on, somebody. I know what the Lord has done in my life. I know how the Lord has provided for me when it seemed like there was no way for me. I know how He opened doors for me. I know what He's done for my family. Hallelujah, hallelujah.  Come on, somebody. I need Jesus. I need Jesus. I need Jesus. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. You know, we need to praise God. Sister Amber White, praise the Lord. Thank you for singing that song. Hallelujah. That song was ordained to go before this message. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. God is great. God is great. God, His mercy endured forever. And people want to know what's so special about your religion. You know what's special about my religion? Jesus Christ the righteous. The king of kings was the Lord of lords, creator of everything. He's my father. Now you can boast about your heritage, but I'm claiming Jesus Christ the righteous. He claimed me as His own. And I yield. I yield. I listen for His voice. Problem with a lot of youngsters these days, they don't want to hear nobody. Can't nobody tell them nothing?  I'll live it the way I want them. Hallelujah. But I learned that that don't work. Hallelujah. I didn't learn it personally. Thank the Lord. I learned it by observation. I'll take Jesus for mine. I'll take Jesus for mine. You can have the dope. You can have alcohol. You can have the run in the streets. But I'll take Jesus. I'll take Jesus for mine. I'm going to let him tell me what to do. And I heard one preacher say, yes, I'm a yes man. I'm a yes man. Everything God says, I say yes, Lord. Don't go that way. Yes, Lord. Do this. Yes, Lord. I'll take Jesus for mine. I'll take Jesus for mine. Now I can't control your house. I'm called a preach. I'm not called to control your life. I'm not a detective. The only investigation that I've done in my life was for the fight in front of me. I'm not an investigator. I can't tell you what to do. Can't order your life. But as for me and my house, as for me and my house, we determined we're going to serve the Lord. We're going to give him all we got. We're going to work till we're tired and work some more. We're going to give until we get close to out and we'll give some more because I love him. Hallelujah. He claimed me. Hallelujah. He claimed me. And I'm claiming him. He's my father in heaven. And he cares about his son. Allie McClure Alexander Jr. He likes me. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Whatever y'all don't like. Y'all don't like me? Oh well.  Oh well. He loves me. The one who counts, he loves me. Hallelujah. Come on, sister first lady. Thank you Jesus. What is going to cost for eternal life is everything you got. Everything. When you think about it and you add things up, the best life to choose is with Jesus. Because the Bible say the way of a transgressor. But the difference between the way of a transgressor and a child of God is that there's a great payday for a child of God.  You can't go everywhere that everybody goes. You have to give the world up. You can't wear everything that the world wears. You might have to give all that up.  You might have to give that up. But there's a payday that's coming. And that payday is what we're aiming for. That's why we do what we do. Because of the payday. But a transgressor, they're going to have a payday too. Yes. And y'all think it's been hot in California. We can stay in this.  None whatsoever. And the thing about it, it's not just for a period of time. I've heard Bishop explain about time. Time starts here and ends here. But eternity goes beyond that. So there is no period of time that you will remain in the place of a transgressor.  We, we're going to have all the money we want, all the gold, all the streets of paper, all the jewels, all that stuff we're going to have in heaven. So why not give it up now while you're here on earth? Now the Lord is going to bless us with things down here on earth and we know that. Because he said, seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added. Now he made us some promises. All we have to do is stay faithful to God. Seek God. Make him first in our lives. So what if your friends are doing this? So what if your friends are going to concerts they shouldn't be going to? So what if they're doing all this? Don't, you don't have to do that.  So we need to do that. Amen. We need to make up our mind.  Let's give everything that we have for God's sake. No matter how it hurt us, no matter how it bothers us, let's give it up. Now it hurts to have to give your parents up and your children up and all those things up and things are not right. So let it hurt for a while but Lord, when Jesus comes back, that's where the reward is going to be. So even though the cost is high, the pay is great and that's what Bishop was telling us. Let's surrender our lives to God. Let's not have any ifs and buts about it. Let's not have any doubts about if this is right or this is wrong. If the Holy Ghost functionalized you and said, no, that's not right. Don't do it. Don't do it. And if you got the Holy Ghost in you to rule and guide you, it will tell you what to do and what not to do.  God don't want no puppets. God want people who are freely, who freely will come to him and do what he wants you to do. Now, God, if he wanted to, he could make us all do right. But that's not what he want. He wanted us to have a willing mind, a willing heart, something willing we could do. Now, he could have taken all the riches from that young guy if he wanted to, but he didn't do that. He gave him a choice and God has given us a choice. And I think everybody in here has been baptized. Has everybody in here been baptized? I think so. So I'm not going to call. But this is what I want us to do.  And if you're not sitting next to somebody, find somebody and pray for them. We're going to pray for each other because a lot of times we come and we pray, the minister put their hands on you and pray, but we're going to pray for each other. So find somebody and pray, we're going to pray together. Amen. So get with somebody. I know the musicians are there. Y'all just pray, father and son, you know, you know how you do it. So find somebody, stand up and find somebody to pray with you. Even the children, find somebody. Chrissy, you probably pray for your children all the time. Find somebody else to pray with. Somebody go and pray with those kids. Somebody get one of those kids and pray with them. Pastor Sike, don't find one of them kids and pray with them. Young man, find somebody to pray with you. All right, let's pray. Father, in the name of Jesus, oh God, we come to you right now, Lord God. We come to you, Lord God, with an awful heart and an awful spirit.    You are everything that we need, Lord God. We come to you, Lord God, because we know that we're looking and striving for eternal life. We actually bless each and every one of us, Lord God. Help us, Lord God, as we go through this journey, Lord God. Help us, Father, in the name of Jesus, Lord God. To be patient, Lord God. Oh, God, to love like we should, Lord God. To act like we should, Lord God. Oh, Father, we actually, in the name of Jesus, Lord God, forgive us for those things that we're doing that's not right according to your will, Lord God. Take everything out of our lives, Lord God, that's hindering us, Lord God. But surrender our lives and totality to you, Lord. We thank you and we praise you, Lord God. We honor you, Lord God. And Lord God, those hands that we are holding, Lord God. Bless those people, Lord God, that we are holding their hands, Lord God. In the name of Jesus, Lord God, we pray. We actually follow in the name of Jesus, Lord God. Give us a heart, Lord God, and determination, Lord God, to walk all the way with you, Lord God. Strengthen us, Lord God. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hey, my shan't get in the bostia. He called us in the bostia. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Oh, God, we know that you're able right now, Lord God. Oh, God, give us a praying spirit, Lord God. A praying heart, Lord God. Help us, Lord God. In the name of Jesus, Lord God.  We're striving, Lord God. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Oh, God, we praise you, Lord God. We ask you to bless us, Lord God. Bless this congregation, Lord God. Help us to be for real, Lord God. Oh, God, we don't want to be hypocrites, Lord God. We want to be for real, Lord God. In the name of Jesus, we pray. We thank you, we praise you, Lord God. We honor you, Lord God, and we glorify you, Lord God. In the name of Jesus, we pray. In Jesus' mighty name. Hallelujah. Now give God some praise. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. Oh, God, you're worthy. You're worthy, Lord. Hallelujah. What do you want the Lord to say? Oh, well done. Now good and faithful servant. That's what I want the Lord to say. Oh, what do you want the Lord to say? Oh, what do you want the Lord to say? What to say, good and faithful servant. That's what I want the Lord to say. Oh, what do you want the Lord to say? That's what I want. What do you want the Lord to say? What do you want the Lord to say? You may have your seat. You may have your seat. I want to give you an admonition at this time. Anybody know what today is? Anybody know what day it is? Today's Sunday. Today is the first Sunday of the month. Amen. And what I want to do is I want to share with you the giver who pleases God. The giver who pleases God, they have a readiness and eagerness to give. They can be expected to give. Yeah. Yeah. They're forward in giving. They're not caught unprepared to give. Right, right, right. Amen. Being unprepared causes shame.  You receive. You're ready to receive. On the other hand, being prepared shows love, not covetousness. They give much and reap much. Y'all don't believe that. Oh, that's why. That's why. Y'all don't believe that. They give much and reap much. They reap what they sow. They give deliberately, not grudgingly, not compulsion. Amen. And thanks for the cheer. Now, that's what the Lord is pleased with when we give. We shouldn't have any excuses. And we shouldn't put shouldn't put the rent man before God. We shouldn't put the big max and the triple triple, whatever's with cheese on it before God. I love you, Jesus. I worship and adore you. Just want to tell you that I love you more than a chocolate Sunday. You're now in the hands of the usher. Let us stand. Let's stand. We'll pray first. If you're giving by Ghiblify, just raise your hand. Father, in the name of Jesus, we come.  Thank you, O God, for the many provisions that you've made for us down through the years. And if we had to tell it, we couldn't tell it all for the goodness that you've shown and bestowed upon us and our families. Lord, we thank you for the opportunity to come and to bless your house with that that we've earned for that that belongs to you and the part that we offer to you as our gift. We thank you. We praise you because you're everything we need. You've never failed us. You've never left us. And we have a promise that you'll never leave nor forsake us. And so we thank you, Lord. We know how to depend on you. And we thank you for the desire to give into the offering where I should receive our gifts in Jesus' name. Amen. You may come. Sister Marilyn, we're ready for you now. Come on if you love him. Let's sing it one more time. Come on, Sister Amber. One more time. Hallelujah. Hallelujah. God, we thank you. Thank you for the offering, God. Hallelujah. Bless your people. Continue to bless your people. Hallelujah. Press down, shaking together and running over Hallelujah. Bless your people indeed, oh God. Hallelujah. We love you more than anything, Lord. Hallelujah. More than finances. Hallelujah. More than gifts that people can give us. Hallelujah. We love you and we appreciate you. We thank you for salvation. Thank you for deliverance from sin. Oh God. Hallelujah. Thank you for a regenerated life. Hallelujah. Any man being Christ, he's a new creature. Thank you for the newness of life. Hallelujah. We bless you and we praise you in Jesus' name. Amen. Come on, let's put our hands together. I just cried through the whole message, Bishop. I did. Hallelujah. I thank the Lord for the word of God. Hallelujah. Comes to change us. Amen. To heal us and deliver us from ourselves. Amen. Hallelujah. Are you determined? Amen. Hallelujah. Are you even more determined? Yes. To love the Lord and to love him with your whole being. Hallelujah. Come on. Hallelujah. Bless your Lord. Bless you. Bless you. Bless you.


It's Sunday. You know what that means time to get the bag organized and update the training log Get ready for the next week. Oh, man Drinking tea as well tea with honey It's not necessarily local honey if anybody has had any success with eating local honey To help alleviate allergies Certainly, let me know down in the comments because honey tastes delicious and I would eat honey all day But especially if it helps with allergies, but so far not really working But it is from Trader Joe's So it's uh, it's supposed to be chilly in the morning. It might be raining. Oh, man We'll just see how it how it turns out. But I am going so the gear is ready But I might add some arm sleeves, maybe even gloves a light um Hat basically for my ears and yes, I am gonna give the morton sports mix A a test drink mix. I guess it's called. This is the hydro gel sports fuel Drink mix pro the 320. So I'm giving it a shot. I'm gonna try it tomorrow. I've got four bottles So I'm going back to wash park.  It's gonna be hard But it's gonna be it's gonna be fun excited to give the morton a shot. So anyway, let's go mix it up And here we go. All right. Just taking it easy today getting ready for tomorrow's run Just a nice day of rest easy three miles, uh bopping along through denver and okay For all the new subscribers, there's a lot of you. It's amazing. I think the last time So what happens on this youtube channel? Well, we used to go live every wednesday night at 7 p.m Mountain time and in addition to that and what we what we did on wednesdays is we basically just We talked about running and different running topics different running shoes and in addition we went live Once a month for a running shoe giveaway. That's right. Basically we had the idea as a collective youtube family I would say man three or four months ago to Get shoes running shoes in the hands of runners Are literally around the world who truly truly need them remember this gentleman from slovenia. He sent me these pictures That's right. We are in the process of connecting him with another gentleman in slovenia to get him some new running shoes to replace those So Also, so we we did that the last one was let's see it's april I guess it would have been late march or maybe early april We did the last running shoe giveaway and these running shoe giveaways are for people who truly need Running shoes like they just can't like maybe they're in college and they're working two extra jobs and like Money is tight or maybe they it's a a young family who you know the the oldest needs braces and I don't know the rent just went up and like money is tight like it happens to all of us money gets tight at times Or maybe you're in high school and your parents just straight up can't afford to buy you new running shoes There's all sorts of different situations out there that um allow you to put your name in the hat for the running shoe giveaways Well, as you know, we went live for the boston marathon last week and got a copyright strike on this youtube channel What does that mean? It basically means uh, it was the first copyright strike i've ever received on this channel So that's good that it was the first one youtube has a nice basically after three months that copyright strike is taken away And it's just forgotten completely. Um, so I but there's a chance We will not be able to go live on this youtube channel until July 14th because let's see april. Yeah may june july The only way we will be able to go live on this youtube channel is if flow sports Retracts the copyright strike and I've emailed them and emailed them and explained the situation and like Just asking them to tell me why of course I they won't respond to me So therefore here is the keyword is vote and the question of the day Let me see if I can lay this out as clear as possible. We're gonna circumvent youtube.  Uh, oh, yeah, and why are we doing this? Basically My house is uh, you know, it's under 1100 square feet. It's not the biggest house out there So real estate is prime inside the house and all of these running shoes continue to arrive And if you are a new subscriber and you have gently used running shoes that you would like to get in the hands of people Who truly need them? I'm happy to be that middleman to connect your shoes to somebody that needs them But because of your generosity The corner in my room in my house is starting to fill up So there's no way we can wait until july to do the next running shoe giveaway We got to do it as soon as possible probably. I don't know an official date yet It's either gonna be in late april or early may so here's the question of the day And yes, I need your vote and then that's the keyword. All right question of the day Do we do the next running shoe giveaway live on facebook? So I have a facebook page Uh, it's down below. Do we do it live there? Or I also have a an email list Powered through mail chimp. So all your emails would be secure and basically you would you would sign up for the email list And then I would send out an email like three days before maybe four days before the giveaway Asking you to submit your name To the giveaway if you truly truly need running shoes. So there's two options for this question of the day Do we go live on facebook on my facebook page? For the next giveaway or do we do it pre-recorded and I will basically Receive names via email now I realize some people don't check their email very much and some people maybe don't use facebook at all anymore Um, so anyway, it's like I don't know what else to do except for those two options You can also go live on twitter, but I know a lot of people don't have twitter So those are the two options just right down below facebook or Email, okay, and then based on the sentiment of this youtube family We will make a decision as to how we will do the next running shoe giveaway. All right movement on Thanks for that for listening to that Okay, it gets better the running shoes scholarship. So guess what I'm gonna give away some shoes right now Basically, we also had the idea about two months ago to start a running shoes scholarship Um, it's gonna take some work and I just don't have time yet But I will say like someone last week sent some shoes His name is curt and he wrote in his letter That he would like a particular set of shoes to go to a high school Ladies cross-country runner who truly truly needs them. Okay, so high school ladies out there Remember at the last live stream giveaway. We did not have any lady shoes. I felt so bad So guess what the Nike pegasus 35 turbos are being given away right now to a lady and curt also asked That the same girl gets some cross-country spikes. That's right So basically setting you up for success in the fall for the cross-country season, but here's the trick You got to email me your story. Tell me why you need these shoes. Like what's your situation? Don't worry. I'll keep it completely confidential and the the turbos, but here's the other trick So the turbos are size six and a half size six and a half And the cross-country spikes are size seven and I bet they you know cross-country spikes I can tell they they're running a little small So basically if your foot is a size six and a half You're gonna get these two shoes and you're gonna be set up for the cross-country season again If you are a cross-country coach if you are a track coach spread the word to high school ladies out there that really Might be in a tough situation and cannot afford Um cannot afford to buy new shoes for the upcoming cross-country season Let them know I want to mail these to to them as soon as possible And there you have it that is the update for the next running shoe giveaway Vote down below facebook live or the email list and obviously the email list will not be live I'll just pre-record it and then draw names out of the box Based on whoever signs up for the email and lets me know that yeah, I could really use some new running shoes That's it today folks. I love you. Thank you for being here I gotta get to bed so I can get up early get this threshold work on and I think I'm gonna be able to do it I'm slowly feeling better Through these allergies. So anyway, what a great day. I love you. See beauty work hard For real for real


We demystify what goes on behind the therapy room door. Join us on this voyage of discovery and co-creative conversations. This is The Therapy Show, behind closed doors podcast, with Bob Cook and Jackie Jones. Welcome back to episode 145 of The Therapy Show, behind closed doors, with the wonderful Mr. Bob Cook and myself, Jackie Jones. And what we're going to be looking at in this session is the troubles and triumphs in the therapy room. Yes, what a wonderful podcast title, and I think I should write a book on that. Yes, what a wonderful title that would be. Yeah, yeah, problems and, in fact, I've got the site, my first, well, a book, there's three books in my head. One is the Psychotherapy Cookbook, which has to, I'm meant to start, oh, on Christmas when I got back to the podcast one also. The title of this one is Problems and Trials in the Psychotherapy Room. Sounds fantastic. Do you know something? I think there's a tendency, I don't think it's just me, but it took me a long time to move to celebrating my triumphs. Yeah. Much more likely to focus on all the troubles I have. I don't have the same with all psychotherapists. I get that, yeah. Yeah.  And unfortunately, a lot of them say, what, what, talking about all some sort of phase and tend to dismiss that process. But unless we do that, I think we don't feed our soul. Yeah. I suppose, for me, I don't see them as my triumphs. What do you see them as then? Their triumphs. You don't see them as a collective process. No. Even. I understand completely what you're saying about filling you, your own soul and filling your own bucket up and everything. And yeah, but there is that kind of narcissistic look at me type of thing connected with it somehow. Well, I think it was on the previous podcast I talked about a partner got into contact me after 10 years. And she'd written a lot of what happened to the therapy process. And she was talking about how should the therapy change the life of this stuff together. No, not only was it very moved, but I also thought, well, I didn't really celebrate at the time what would you achieve together. Yeah. And I felt a professional satisfaction. I allowed myself even though it's 10 years after the event to allow myself action that I've perhaps didn't allow myself to have all those years ago. Yeah. And that's good. We should allow ourselves that. Absolutely. Yeah. Well, certainly. Because we can't break confidentiality. We can't talk about what happens inside the therapy room outside. So it's not like you do a good day, you know, a good thing at work and you go home and you talk to your mrs or your husband about it and say, oh, I did a fantastic thing today and work because you can't talk about it. No, that's true. And when she wrote up some of the therapy and I was reading some of the therapy that I did and I thought, gosh, did I do that? That was one, I didn't quite say that was wonderful. But the professional satisfaction I got and also I think a personal professional together and how the therapy and of course she did it. I know, but I wouldn't just the journey and help a little bit. She changed her life around. Yeah. I don't think I took enough professional satisfaction at the time. I allowed it 10 years later, which is a great shame now talking. I didn't celebrate if you like, or I didn't really allow the professional satisfaction earlier on. It's a very privileged job that we have. That's very true. To see, you know, what we see inside the therapy room and to witness the transformations that we potentially see in each and every client. It's an honour and a privilege, absolutely. I think with triumphs, we could use a lot of other words, but for me a triumph can, it's usually around not the sort of technical way, particularly of a client, you know, achieving their contractual goals. But it's usually, it is around that, but it's usually around transformation around when somebody really makes that transform, transformational process in their lives and they turn their lives around or whatever you want to put it. That's a triumph. It's a collective triumph. Yes. That's probably a very good, better way of looking at it. Yeah. But I certainly don't want to minimise my part in the collective trial. And I think I did a lot of minimising the parts I played in the collective triumph of transformation. Yeah. I think I still do, you know what I mean? But I think it's the little things that happen that totally transform a client's life.  I mean, there's triumphs at the end of therapy. But what I never allowed myself to do much, I'm thinking about as I talk to you, is the triumphs as we go along.  They say, well, I've never had any eyes brought up on crumbs, rather than having a full meal. Yeah. Just in a way of that sense of healthy humanity could be seen as a triumph, or at least could be seen as when the, I mean, when the client actually talks about it in this way, could be seen as a sort of breakthrough anyway. But I could certainly look back now and think of the triumphs, lots of clients I've had, and it is all around their healthy movements in life, their transformational spirit, their sense of courage, their sense of staying in therapy, their sense of taking the steps to trust me, so we could do the therapy. Yeah. And that's a big thing. It is a big thing for them to trust us in the process. You know, for me, I think that most of my triumphs have been around, you know, something about giving them permission to just be who they want to be, and not feeling like they need to conform to anything. And you know what I mean, having a safe space and holding them for them to practice and to try new things and then to come back and tell you about it. To come back and tell you about it. Yeah. Yeah. And when you see the actual look in their eye and the look on the face when they have actually achieved something that they wanted to do that they never thought they could, you can't, if you could bottle that it'd be worth a fortune. So is that what you see mainly as what would indicate a clinical trial? Yes. Yeah. Even something simple as I can remember, you know, quite recently I've asked the client, you know, what do they want? What do you want to happen? And you know, you stopped them in the tracks and it's like, I've never been asked that before. I don't actually know what I want. You know, and for them to have a space where they can work out what it is that they want to do. Yeah. And those moments are very humbling, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of another client who also got in touch with me and she was very important that I know how much or the part I played in her transformation. And the most important thing that seemed for her that I helped create a safe space for her to talk about her journey. Yeah. How you do, how you do that is perhaps another podcast, but I feel humbled myself when someone gives me that feedback. Yes. On another level completely, I think when I think of trials, it's usually really, there's many ways I can look at it, but actually, people staying with me in the therapy journey and not running away and not leaving or whatever is a personal and professional triumph that they've trusted me to actually stay in the process. Yeah. Is a triumph. When things get tough, they don't run. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. But I don't think back and think of that. I can think of some clients where I can say, oh, that's such a success. That's such a triumph. But on a very different level, all the clients in the many, many years of psychotherapy I've done who've stayed the distance with me are the triumphs I think about, I think as well. Yes. Much more, in fact. Yeah. What about the troubles? Most of the troubles, you know, Jackie, are countertransferential. Yeah. So for the people who's listening to me now, I hope they understand what I mean by countertransfers. Most of the troubles have been when I have part of my own past has been activated by their past in some ways. Yeah. In the psychotherapy process, most of the problems come from when perhaps I've merged with the client because they identify on the opposite of me. So the major problems are not talking about the administrative problems. I'm not talking about the logistical problems, but the clinical problems are when, are basically to do with, yeah, when my past collides with their past. Yeah. And we don't know that that's going to happen until it does. That's the issue. You can't see that one coming. You can say so. I haven't done enough therapy in this area, which is usually I haven't done enough supervision, but it's usually a therapy. And the clients become gifts, in a way, because they indicate the therapy that I need to do. And I can only think of that. However, at the time, the challenges we're going to call the words problems is when my dysfunctional past is activated in the therapeutic process. Yeah. And then I have that in some way, usually, or we both have that in some way, so our adults become less accessible. Yes. Yeah. I think that's the origination of the difficulties I have. Yeah. And you're right. If I could have done the four, five, six, seven years of therapy I did before I started therapy, I think things would have been very helpful. Yeah. Of course, a lot of the therapy I did, I did as I went along, like, you know, yourself inside the training, you have to be in therapy or what type of therapy we do anyway. For at least, I think it's four years. But, you know, I continued to continue as we went along. And so some of my own journey of therapy paralleled my clients' journeys. Absolutely. I joked with my clients that I didn't think there was anything wrong with me until I started doing my psychotherapy training and then realised, whoa, there is quite a lot of stuff, though, that I need to be looking at. Yeah, absolutely. And even now, I'm still nerfing things. You just get into your adult quicker, I think. Yes. Yeah. I know when I'm in my script and I know when I'm out of my script and I know what affects me and what doesn't affect me. Yeah. And I'm much more aware of, I was very much in my head all the time. I was very much logical. I used to think my way through things, whereas now I'm a lot more comfortable having feelings and not necessarily having to do anything with them, just understanding that it's okay to have feelings. And that took me a long time to come to terms with. So if you think of it as a therapy profession, it's one of the professions where we learn on the job in a way. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's the only way that you can do it is to learn on the job. Perhaps the clients should be paying us, or perhaps we should be paying the clients. I'm sure there's a few that I should drop the odd, you know, a couple of quid too, or whatever. Definitely. Yeah. They pay us, but perhaps we should also pay that. And hopefully we're just a bit of a bit of a psychological time ahead of them. But I think the problems and challenges for me have always occurred in the counter-transfers. I mean, there might be some logistical problems I've created, some admin problems I've created, or, you know, or some things, or even some things which were, I don't know, where I've taken, I've blurred some of the ethical boundaries in some ways. But they're sort of, you could say they come from a therapeutic class, but usually it's when the past or the dysfunctional part of myself gets caught up with the dysfunctional part of the client. That's where problems happen. Yeah. I think the only other things that have happened to me is when the client feels like I've let them down. And it's usually been around what you touched on then about ethics and my stance as a psychotherapist on what's acceptable and what's not, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense completely. That makes sense. I've had to terminate one and it was in the early days and I can remember taking it to supervision and feeling so uncomfortable, but knowing what I had to do. But it went against everything being a people pleaser and not wanting to upset people. But I had to terminate the contract because he wasn't telling the truth. He was lying and I didn't see how I could work therapeutically with somebody that wasn't being authentic. And it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, I think. So that's a very good example of what you just talked about there. Other problems, Jackie, when I haven't taken things to supervision quick enough or haven't used supervision effectively, and what I mean by effectively usually it's going to supervision quicker than sitting on the supervision reissue while dealing with it in supervision. When I haven't done that, problems can occur much quicker. Yes. Yeah. And if I had to give a piece of advice to the beginning therapist or even therapist who've been around a while, which I'm sure they know themselves, is use supervision because it's a support mechanism, which is really important in our profession. And in fact, when I haven't done that, problems have often occurred. Yeah. When I haven't gone to therapy quick enough, when I say quick enough, I haven't dealt with some of the dysfunctional issues which have come up. Or I've sort of defended against what I think I should have worked on. That can lead to problems because the therapy comes up in the therapy process. And then you have a challenge to deal with the clinical setting. So therapy and supervision, the use of it is really important. This is what I talk about all the time in these podcasts, Bob, when I say it's like the matrix. There's so many different things coming. It's our own baggage. It's the client. It's the therapeutic pro. It is just so much going on in that therapy room. Oh, there's so much. And also, I don't know if there's problems, of course, but continual CPD, I think, has been very important for me. And if I haven't got myself up to date in the various areas of different things, from neurodiversity to whatever, then those gaps often, funny enough, I'm not funny at all. But then clients appear in the very end. The universe has a wonderful way of doing that to us. And when I first started out, I always would think, oh, gosh, I don't know how these clients have got to me because they actually represent all the difficult problems I have in myself. Yeah. So therapy supervision, CPD, those are all the areas that I I did use effectively, but perhaps the times when I didn't go quick enough, problems often occurred. Yeah. A lot of them came from a counter-transferential place. Yeah, I think I probably agree with that 100%. Some of the practicalities, some of the you know, that side of things, but the majority of it is when I've been triggered or I've been part of the process. Yeah. It's something very, very true, I think, is when I haven't been aware of my script quick enough, and you said it, you said often we're not aware, we're in it. Yeah. That has led me to what I would call defensive side of therapy, which has then caused problems. Yeah. So I'm not saying it's straightforward to catch hold of our scripts or to be aware of them, but I think that as soon as we can, if we can act on that and be open to our own vulnerability, then some of these difficulties or so-called difficulties or challenges will be diminished. Yeah. And I think hopefully that, you know, the listeners to this podcast will take all the positives from this, that even you, Bob, who's been doing this for, you know, 40 odd years or whatever it is, none of us are fallible. We're all human beings who have, we go through the same processes, we all have a script, we all think it's happening in our life, whatever it is, that these things happen to all of us. Yeah. And if we can get in touch with our own vulnerability and allow ourselves to be vulnerable, then- 100%. I think the worst thing we can do is to think that, you know, we can do all things for all people and we can't. No, that's absolutely right. And if we go, if we go down that road, what you've just said there, well, I think we have many problems. Yeah.  And for me, you know, I think it's only been recently over the last two or three years that I've focused an awful lot more of my own personal attention on making sure that I'm the best version of me, you know, practicing a lot more self-care and a lot more self-compassion and all those sorts of things I think that are making me a much better psychotherapist now rather than just working hard at it, making it work. Yeah. So I was just going to say a little bit about, and that is sort of, I know we're centering on problems a little bit more than perhaps trans, but just sort of parallel process what we're talking about here. But I do think that unless we can do all the things you just talked about, which is compassion for ourselves and self-care and allow ourselves to, you know, open our hearts up more, then there'll be more challenges in the clinical setting. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I said so in this podcast that if we can allow ourselves to really take on board some of our triumphs and positive clinical feedback from our clients through that transformational process I'm talking about, our soul is more enriched. Yeah. Our soul is more enriched and more likely to have a more open psychotherapy process. Absolutely. To keep them really meat. Yes. Yeah. I'm thinking about training now whether we did anything on self-care and self-compassion and basically taking care of ourselves. And I think I could be completely wrong here, but the only thing I can think that sticks in my mind is that 20-80 rule about the, you know, the type of clients that you have that you don't take on too many, you know, disturbed clients and that, you know, obviously you only have so many clients in a week or whatever. But the actual practicalities of practicing self-care, whatever that is, you know what I mean. Like I know that you're adamant and you've done 20 years of retreats. You know, that should be part of being a therapist is that we map out time for ourselves to take care of us. I couldn't agree more. And of course, long-term developmental psychotherapists, which I certainly sort of title myself as, means all the things you've just talked about, which is only got my own heart, central women's vulnerability and allowing myself to be compassionate myself and other people and all those things, self-care and everything else, took me quite a time to get there. But I agree with you. Now, somebody who works in very short term, say six sessions, might say, well, this podcast anyway, all of those things aren't necessary. However, I think elements of them all. I can honestly say, I don't think there's one client that I've had that hasn't made an impression on me. But good or bad? Absolutely. Yeah. Some more than others. But I think each and every one of them has actually made an impression on me. Probably left an imprint on your soul then. Yeah. And I don't think I'd have it any other way because to me, that's the connection. That's, you know, to me, the therapeutic relationship. That would be a great title book, imprint, our influence on our soul. Yeah. But you've got so many book titles here, Bob, you need to get cracking with them all. You've got a library. So until next time, when what we'll actually be talking about, according to my list, is the importance of observational skills in the therapy room. Well, you know, I'm a real advocate of that. I believe all TA therapists are advocates of that because they've been taught from the beginning, the importance of observational skills with regards to eager states. Yeah. So it should be a good podcast. Orky-dork until next time, Bob. See you then. Take care. Bye bye. You've been listening to The Therapy Show behind closed doors podcast. We hope you enjoyed the show. Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review. We'll be back next week with another episode.


How's it going, guys? Welcome back to another J.H.R. review. And today we're going to be looking at something really interesting and it's kind of funny because it reminds me of something I used to do as a kid. We'll get to that in a minute. This is a crispy ramen snack. It's garlic flavor and it's my baby star. I found this at Motokai or Tokyo Central and then on the back right here it says no need to cook, ready to eat. And from what I said at the beginning, it reminds me of the end of the already done ramen packs where you take it out and then you kind of sprinkle some of the seasoning on it or you just eat it hard by itself except it's packaged as an actual snack. Let's go ahead and zoom in on the nutritional information real quick. It's probably not great, but we have 530 milligrams of sodium in the entire thing and about 45 carbohydrates as well. A little too new actual sugar and the fat is on the higher end. It has a very cute little design on the front. Looks like she has a magic wand. Without further ado, let's open this guy up and see what this tastes like. I wonder if it just tastes like kind of ramen noodles covered in flavoring. Let's go ahead and try it. So this is what the inside of the packaging looks like. Let's go ahead and pour some out on my hand and zoom in on it. This is what they look like. Kind of just like a bit of crispy ramen. It's like it's set on the front. Yeah, feels just like the same consistency too. Let's go ahead and try this out. So I would say that this is a little softer or maybe the noodles are slightly thinner than actual like ramen ramen. What would be really interesting for me is if you got some of this and instead of eating it as a crispy ramen snack, you try to actually boiling it and seeing whether or not you could get it to taste like actual ramen. Kind of see if it's made of exactly the same thing. What do you guys think? Would you try that out? Try to make your own homemade cup of noodles or something like that. But it's really interesting. I've never seen something so based on what we all kind of know that we do. You know, when you try the end little bits of the ramen at the end, we all know we do that but we never thought an actual snack would be made out of it. Pretty cool stuff. Really enjoyed it. The garlic flavors there. Not too much of a powder on it. It's just already in there so it's not going to be super messy. And I don't really have anything on my hand either. But yeah, definitely would recommend this. I'd say it's a good 10 out of 10. A huge shout out to my Patreons. Thank you guys so much for your support. You guys are awesome. If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to comment, rate, and subscribe. And as always, I'll see you in the next video.