o'clock. Lux presents Hollywood. The company, the makers of Lux on its own, bring you the Lux Radio Theater starring Janet Lee and Fernando Lamas in Strictly Dishonorable. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Irving Cummings. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight's play Strictly Dishonorable is strictly for laughs. This frothy comedy from Metro Goldwyn Mayer is full of light-hearted romance and we hope its good humor will help to usher in the gaiety of our holiday season. And as our stars, we have two talented young players who have both skyrocketed to stardom, the beautiful blonde Janet Lee in her original role, and the handsome Latin, Fernando Lamas. It's not a coincidence that beauty and talent often go hand in hand. It has been my experience as a director of beautiful stars that a woman who carefully guards her beauty has greater opportunity to appear before the camera because the camera close-up shows off a beautiful complexion and makes it a joy to behold. It's no wonder that our Hollywood stars depend on daily Lux toilet soap care for their complexions. Those Lux facials can mean fresher, more radiant beauty. Now, Strictly Dishonorable starring Janet Lee as Isabelle and Fernando Lamas as Gus Carrafa. It's the late 1920s and the female population of New York is swooning over the handsome Italian singer, Augustino Carrafa. Yes, Mr. Carrafa's reputation in the lush pastures of romance is quite as renowned as his talents in Grand Opera. Anyway, on this fine spring morning, one of his younger fans has called at the Opera House to plead with an assistant stage manager. Oh, please, sir. All I want is to be one of those girls in the mob scene. That's all. Now, look, we've hired all the soupers we need. Come back tomorrow. Oh, but Mr. Carrafa's singing tonight. And if you caused me to miss a chance of being on the very same stage with Augustino Carrafa, well, I'd never forgive you as long as I'll live. Oh, goodness, I've loved his voice ever since I was this high. And I kept a scrapbook of him ever since I was this high. Well, I guess I've kept track of about everything he's ever done. Offstage you're on. Hmm? Okay, be here at seven o'clock tonight and ask for wardrobe.  Oh, thank you. Thank you kindly. Bye. No, is that Mason or Dixon? Well, here's our application card. Don Perry, 9,000-inch conservatory major musical appreciation. Sounds a little more like Carrafa appreciation. As it's procedure, I assure you she hasn't got a chance. Tell me something. How come there's a rehearsal call this morning? It's not a rehearsal. It's an audition. Mr. Harry Donnelly's wife wants to become an opera singer. Oh, no, no.  Oh, but he's here now. He's in his dressing room. Oh, fine, fine. Thanks for telling me. Ah, she's on stage waiting for you, Mrs. Donnelly. Please, Bill, please. I'm speaking on the telephone. Of course, Lily. Oh, you look so lovely last night. Yes, Lily, yes. You pick me up here, eh? Fine, darling. Goodbye. So it's Lily again? Yes, she's Dino. Now, look, all I do is to talk to Lily on the telephone. And last night? Bill, you worry too much. Okay, I worry too much. Now about the audition. This is Mrs. Donnelly. See, she's married, married with her husband. And all you do is sing to her. But of course, what else? Okay, let's get going. The other number, huh, Mr. Carrafa? Oh, my stroke. We're ready for most songs. Madame Donnelly, eh, no, no, no, no. What's the matter? Please, I do not mean to be unkind, but this is impossible. But all we've sung is this one little thing from... My dear, you are a very, very beautiful woman, but unfortunately, you have no voice. I have no voice. Madame, please, please. Do you know who my husband is? No, and I don't care. Carra Donnelly, that's who? You have no ear, no feeling. He can earn on you. Your F-sharp is an E-flat. Your E-flat is a C-sharp.  Why you say all over stuff? And such a voice is not for singing Mozart. It is for selling fish. Fish? They are not even fresh fish. You just wait until Harry hears about this. You just wait. You, you, my fine precision. You tell me she's got a voice. Well, well, yeah, she's got a nice little voice. For calling pics, she's got a voice.  I would know. My mama would know. Mozart would know. Mozart? Yes. And when my time comes to meeting face to face, I've got already enough to explain without this. I'm warning you, Gus, this Donnelly will stop at nothing.  He'll print pony pictures. He'll dream up so much skin that you'll... Let him try it. I will sue. Sue Donnelly? Yes. Then, then I'll fight. I'm an American citizen. I read in the history books. Don't give up the ship. Shoot the whites out of their eyes. The British are coming. And the Italians are here. And so is Lily, darling. Lily, Lily. Oh, a breath of fresh air in the fish market. I'll see you later, Bill. This is the end, Gus. So believe me, this is the end. I'll tell you, Mr. Donnelly, one more week of this will have Carappa screaming for mercy and grabbing the first boat back to Italy. Well, I'm still not satisfied. He insulted Mrs. Donnelly's scene. Now, I told you yesterday to find a dame. There's only one real way to frame Carappa. And don't think I haven't been working on it. Okay, honey, come on in. What is this? Well, she's a dame, isn't she? This is Mrs. Peccatori. She's the new maid in that speakeasy where Carappa lives. He lives in a speakeasy? Well, sure, boss. I told you, that place in the village, Tomasso's, he rents the whole upstairs. How much for Mrs. Peccatori? A sea note. You know what you're to do? A sea, senior. I'm a look. I'm a listen. I'm a peek. You grab anything you can see, hear, smell or steal. Evidence. Oh, no.  And for 100 bucks, I don't steal now. 125. I don't steal. 150. I don't steal. 150. Habarro. Okay, now listen carefully. The first thing we want... If you listen to me, guys, will you please listen to me? Okay, Bill, I listen. I got a tip. I just got a tip that Donnelly's hired some dame to frame you. Bill, please. After what happens tonight in the opera, I am too upset to listen to anything. Now, where is Luigi? I just want a nice massage and go to bed. That's what... Luigi will be up in a minute. And speaking of that fiasco tonight, you still think that was an accident? Please, I'm trying to forget. Well, I'm not. This morning, a kid named Isabel Perry gets a job working in the mob scene tonight. She falls through the scenery just when you reach him, but then I see. All right, all right. It was an accident. Oh, yeah? Well, who do you think is downstairs right now? Isabel Perry. The master says she's been waiting to see you.  Well, call the police. Throw her out. No, no, don't call the police. Just, just throw her out. Bill, you know, this is a very pretty girl. I see her when she falls down. Senor, are you ready? I'll give you a nice massage. Come here, Luigi. Come in. I hear what happened at the opera tonight. The massage is just what you need. Yeah. Excuse us. The senior used one pillow or two. Oh, please. So why you bother the senior with the pillow? I'm a no-med. Thomas, don't tell me. One pillow or two? After the difference. One, two. You used two. We only got one. Then he used one. All right. All right. All right. It's all right, Luigi. It's all right. All right. Bill, this, this girl downstairs. Are you sure it is a frame up? But beautiful. When you want to hook a raffle with a dame, what do you use? Some primadonna with feathers and furs and temper tantrums. Ah, now come on. Does that all that? Not a head. He got. Keep quiet. Turn over. Do the neck. So what does Donnelly do? He reaches down it. The taxi comes up with Miss Cornpone the 19th. This is her name? Cornpone?  Cornpone. Such a name for a pretty girl. And he even hired a two-bed actor to play a boyfriend. To make all this up, but why? That's precisely what we're going to find out. So get dressed and come downstairs. Are you sure you want me to meet this girl? I want the food come out for treatment. The hand-kiss and the wine. The works. But why? Why?  Who? Nobody. Then mind your business. All right. All right. All right. Now look, Isabel, how much longer are we going to hang around this place? Oh, but Henry, I just got to apologize. So you fell through the scenery. But you won't get your job back by coming here and saying you're sorry. But Henry, there's such a thing as common decency, you know. While down home when you caused another person unkindness, hurt or humiliation, while everybody knows the only human thing to do is to go back and apologize. But we're not down home. And when the man you humiliated is one of the greatest artists of our time, what? Some artist, an opera singer who lives in a speakeasy. Oh, Henry, you never used to get cross with me. Why, when we first met, you were always smiling and sweet.  You think the sun shines just to make a nice day to go picnicking? Well, it doesn't. It shines to germinate the wheat kernels. It shines so you can have fresh vegetables, squash, beans, peas, spinach.  And that's another thing. You don't eat the right food. Henry, Henry, look. Well, Miss Perry, may I present Miss Augustino Cavatta? Oh, how do you do? Enchanted. And the answer is Mr. Green of North Orange, New Jersey. He sounds insurance. Senor? How are you? Bill, you tell me there is a young lady. This is not only a young lady. This is a vision. My dear, you are lovely. Oh, well. Well, thank you kindly. All right, Isabelle, get on with it. It's getting late. Oh, Mr. Carafa, it's just that I'm so terribly sorry about the opera tonight. But, my dear, accidents will always happen. Why, one time when I was singing aida, I catch my belt on the scenery, I turn around, my pants fall down. It was a big joke of Madrid all 1924. Oh, but it wasn't 24, and it wasn't Madrid. It was Rome.  It was Boy's Good North. But how would you know all this? Yeah, you seem to have done quite a bit of research, Miss Perry. Well, I guess I know just about everything very well. Well, I guess I know just about everything there is to know about Augustina Carafa. Tomaso, we must have a drink to the young lady who goes to so much trouble, and to her very nice friend. Champagne, please. Sorry, but we've got a long ride back to Jersey. Oh, now that's downright discourteous, Henry. We certainly have time for one friendly little drink.  Oh, Henry Green, I'm surprised at you. Well, I'm surprised at you. Well, somebody here got a hot home of people with a Jersey license. Oh, yes, yes, I have.  Well, all right, all right, I'm coming. Well, you'd better hurry up, because the cop will get it very mad. You'd better go, Henry. Oh, well, why are you so anxious to get rid of me? Well, if there's a policeman outside. All right, all right, but I'm coming back.  Yes, Henry. OK. He isn't always this way. Of course not, my dear, of course. Now, Luigi, you play for us something on the piano, please. All right. And now, now the wine. The sunlight of Italy in a bottle of lacrimacristi. Oh, this is so nice. Well, I didn't expect you to be anything like this. Well, what did you expect, my dear? I don't know. I thought that, well, that a famous person would be very grand and eluphish, but you're just like the people I like. Miss Perry, would you do me a great favor? I would like very much to dance with you before you go away. Oh, would you really? Oh, yes, very, very much. Excuse us, ma'am, but Mr. Dems, you say you want to see you. Tell him I'm busy, Tomasso. It's very important, he says. All right, forgive him, Miss Perry. Oh, yes. I'll be right back. All right, tell you what I'm at. Bill is no act. No, the widest northermage pockets cover up in front of a hybrid. He knows a cop's got to come along and raise a beef that gets him out of the way and gives you and the girl a chance for a little hanky-panky. Talk English. It's a setup. In five minutes, he's back. He finds you two together and starts an argument. She breaks off the engagement. He storms out and leaves the flat. Well, this is soft for him. And there she is all alone in the big city. No money, no friends, nothing. Now, where do you think Miss Cornpone spends the night? The YMCA. Your apartment. She does? No, no, no, don't get any ideas. In the morning, Henry's back with a cop, reporters, photographers, and wham! Headlines again. Opera star trapped in love. Again, the picture in the paper. Only this time we've got a way to beat it. You just play along. See, let her work her way upstairs. And at the right moment, a picture will be taken, only we'll take the picture. We take the picture? And we'll see that it gets in all the decent papers that I just love to expose Donnelly. We'll show how we'd hire a phony dame like this to smear an innocent man. But this is such a sweet, simple girl. For 20 bucks, she'd give Santa Claus a hot foot. Ah, so hard to believe.  All right, now get in there and play it a big. This is our chance to get Donnelly. Kept you waiting. Oh, that's perfectly all right. You know the champagne? Well, it's a moderate, refreshing beverage.  My cousin personally steps on the grapes. Oh, my goodness. I hope you haven't forgotten about our dance. You will do me the honor? I'd be delighted to imagine Augustina Carrafa dancing with me. That I possess happiness. I must say, what's going on here? Mr. Green. Oh, that's why you wanted to get rid of me. So as soon as my back is turned, you can make a fool out of me. Oh, Henry, please. A fine wife you'd make. Well, I didn't do anything. We were just dancing. Well, the women in my family don't dance with every cheesy lounge lizard. They meet the speakeasy. Oh, Henry Green, you apologize this instant. Apologize?  Oh! You hurt me? Well... You know what this means? Perfectly. So if you don't come now... Oh, I know just what you're thinking, Henry. That I have no money, no friends, no place to go. But don't you worry about me. I'll manage to get along all right. Now, now take your ring. Take it, I say. All right, I will. Good night. Good bye. Oh, James, Perry, this is, this is awful. Oh, no, I've done it all right, all right. Isabel, do not feel too bad. No, but, but, but I feel wonderful. For months there's been something wrong with me. And now I know what it is. Too much, Henry. Excuse me, but I think I'll have some more champagne. But of course. Isabel, I must tell you that though I'm very sorry for you, I'm very happy for me. So I hope you'll, you'll not mind my saying this, but I'm terribly fond of you. Oh, are you, uh, Gus? Oh, yes, terribly. That's nice of you to say that. Now, now let's see. Now, where can we put you tonight? Oh, I'll find a place. Well, on the street of Isabel? No, no, no, you will accept my hospitality until you find something you like. Have you room for me? Certainly. In my living room is a couch for someone. Uh, someone like me? Someone exactly like you. All right, I will. Good. I have the maid fix the bed, eh? Bill, you will find a new maid in the Mrs. Peccatori. But, uh, aren't you taking Miss Perry home? No, she's going to be my guest. What do you mean, sir? Oh, Mr. Coropp had said I could stay in the living room of his apartment. Well, in that case, I, uh, I wish you a very good night. Um, Mr. Densey's afraid for me. Yes, yes, I know. Uh, this way, Isabel. Gus. Hmm? Just what are your intentions toward me? Strictly dishonorable, Isabel. Strictly dishonorable. Act two of Strictly Dishonorable, starring Janet Lee as Isabel, and Fernando Lamas as Gus Coroffa, with Maria Palmer as Lily. There's very little doubt in the minds of Augustino Coroffa, and his enterprising press agent, and Isabel, the naive little Southern girl, is just another invention of a wicked newspaper owner who involved the opera star in Scandal. And they've set their trap accordingly. But while Isabel and Augustino have gone upstairs, Mrs. Peccatori, the new maid at the speakeasy, has rushed to the telephone. Hello? Hello? Is Mrs. Donnelly? Is Mrs. Peccatori? Mrs. Donnelly, they're gonna take pictures of the girl you sent. Why, you're not sent a girl? Well, they think you sent a girl. And they're gonna put in somebody else's newspaper. Huh?  Oh, this is what it's like.  Oh, my, what a beautiful lady. You mean that picture? Oh, that's Lily. Yes, my dear cousin Lily. Oh, well, she's written something on it. Uh, for Gus, for my darling, forever. Well, we are a very affectionate family, yeah. Oh, and all these other pictures, all beautiful women and all cousins? No, no, not all of them. Some of them are nieces, yes. Oh. It's a well look.  I'd rather have milk and crackers. Milk and crackers? Oh, Gus isn't lost, wonderful. Milk and crackers? I'll come back in a minute. You're doing great, Gus. Now, run upstairs with the milk and crackers. Oh, well, this is Charlie Hart and he's got his camera all set. How do you do? I don't know, Bill. Crackers and milk, where's the human interest? Now, Bill, Bill, Bill, listen, listen to me. I hope you're not making a mistake. This girl seems so real, so honest. Please, she's a southern fried Lucretia bourgeois. Then why does she want milk and crackers? Who knows? Maybe she's gonna nulse it. Oh, I tell you. I tell you, listen, Bill, to me, this compound is not compound. Now, what are you gonna do when you get upstairs? Well, we're sitting in the couch. I embrace her with one arm and with the other, I push the buzzer. Then you come in, I'll take the picture. You better hurry, Mr. Carraff, or we're holding page one. Oh, no, I'm sorry. He just stepped out. Uh-oh, here he is now. Who is it, my dear? A woman, Gus. Here, here. Your milk and the crackers. I'm sure it's my mother. Mama. Oh, Mama Carra, Mama. Come and style, Bellezza. Come and eat, Trove. How wonderful to hear your voice. This is not Carra, Mama. This is Lily. Lily? And you have a woman with you. It is the maid, yes.  Oh, who are coming to see me, Gus, darling? No, no, I cannot see you tonight. No. Oh, you sound so busy, Gus. Yes, business, Lily. Business matters, you see. I will see you tomorrow, darling, yeah? Oh, yes, very much. Good night, Gus. Good night. Good night. That goes, uh, Gus and Lily, that one.  Now, you drink the milk, Isabella. I put some lovely music on the phone. All right. Isabella. Yes, Gus? It is so nice to have you here. Someone so, so sweet. Uh, you sure you wouldn't like some milk? So young, so fresh, so gentle. Milk's awfully good for you. Isabella. It relaxes you and coats your stomach. You don't want me to sit so close to you like this? Uh, down home, we had milk from our own cows. Please, no cows tonight. Gus, uh, have you ever been in Mississippi? Mississippi? This is near Buffalo? Oh, no, no, it's down south. Such beautiful, beautiful red lips. We had acres and acres. Well, Daddy was doing real well, and then just when cotton got high, women stopped wearing underwear. Now, Isabelle, please. Isabelle, no cows and stomachs and women's underwear. Now, tell me, tell me, do you like me a little? Well, yes, I think so. More than a little? I don't know. I never felt like this before. It's almost as if I... Oh, oh, that's such a lovely song. It's always been one of our favorites. Isabelle, please, you keep moving away. Won't you sing it, Gus, that song? No, no, this is no time for singing my dear. No, this is time for love, for kisses, for... Oh. Oh, yes. This is so much nicer than singing songs. Oh, Gus, Gus, no. No, my goodness, what are you doing? Isabelle, come back. Isabelle, you're trembling. You're crying. Well, that's all my own fault coming up here.  No, you mustn't say that. Oh, Gus, what am I gonna do? You are going to melt into my arms.  You are going to come close to... Hold it, Gus, that's it. You got a challenge? Tell them I'm a Mrs. Powell, what a picture!  All right, Bill, all right. What's he talking about? What's happened? Come on, cut the stall, Miss Perry. Bill, please, it's enough. I just don't understand. Look, look, if you need money so badly, why didn't you tell me? I would have loaned you, given you. But I swear I don't know what you're talking about. I'm warning you, honey child, if you're not out of here in five minutes, I call the cops. Good heavens, please, someone tell me what I've done. I just don't know what's going on. Well, will you please shut up? Mrs. Peccatori, huh? The new maid, huh? Didn't I tell you she's no good? Oh! One pillow, two monkey! We catch her talking on the telephone to Mr. Donnelly's newspaper. You want? Get in here. I'm a poor woman. He'd give him a hundred bucks, but I don't steal. Not for a hundred bucks. Who offers you a hundred dollars? Mr. Donnelly from the newspaper. Oh, Mr. Donnelly from the newspaper, huh? Not just a minute, Gus. Madam, do you realize this is a very serious charge you're making? Just which, Mr. Donnelly? From a newspaper. Oh, that Mr. Donnelly. Do you know this girl? No, senor. Did Donnelly hire her, too? No, senor. Only me. So, Mr. Wise Guy Press Agent, didn't I tell you this compound is no compound? All right, all right. All right, all right. Now I get the picture in the paper anyway. That picture. I gotta kill it. Isabella. Hello? I am so terribly sorry. No, you made Madison 997 open. We think you are hired to make a frame up. Oh, how could you? Because we are fools, that's why. Look who'll come back. The man who's taking the picture. Johnny. Johnny, what's the matter? Get down to the corner and they're waiting for me. Donnelly's boys, they grab my place, they bust my camera. Donnelly, but how did he know about this? I tell him, but I don't steal. I just make one little phone call. Oh, everybody get out of here. Gus, we gotta do something about that picture. You did enough already. But, Donnelly, I'll hang you. This is a young girl in your apartment in the middle of the night. Oh, why did I ever come here tonight?  Now, go inside.  We'll find you a nice hotel room. And as for you, my genius Press Agent. So I made a little mistake. I'm sorry. Some little mistake. You gotta think of some excuse for that picture. Now, who could you be kissing in the middle of the night? I mean, and get away with it. No, please, please. Suppose it was your sister. Or maybe your aunt just come over from the old town. No, Bill, this is crazy. There is no relative I could be kissing in the middle of the night unless it's my wife. Oh, no, no, no. That's too far-fetched. Hey, suppose she was. What? Your wife.  All they'd have is a picture of a man kissing his wife. No, no, no. I cannot do it. We'll get Judge Campbell out of bed. You'll be hitched by three o'clock and on the newsstands, buy some. I cannot do it. Why not? Listen, there are many things I've done of which I'm not proud. But to make of marriage something dishonest, no, this I cannot do. You're in a spot. I don't get married to save my own neck. But just listen. I'm besides. How? How can I ask this girl to do such a thing? Well, I could. You? I asked before. Well, we just had a sensational idea. Bill is enough. We don't even discuss it. Just find a hotel for Miss Perry. That's all. Okay, pal. Go. Now, come on. Go now. Use the telephone downstairs. Gus, what was it you wanted to do to ask me? Nothing, nothing, nothing. Well, if there's anything I can do to help. You are very kind. But believe me, it's impossible. Well, what was it? Now, come. We go downstairs and we wait. Gus, I'm not leaving here until you tell me what it was. All right. All right. Bill wants us to get married. Who? You and me. You and me?  Oh. You say it's impossible. Why? Well, because it's impossible. But why? Now, why do you keep asking why, why, why, why? Marriage is something special for two people who are very much in love. Well, not necessarily. Isabel. Well, I mean, sometimes maybe if just one of them is in love, that's enough. But you... You couldn't possibly be in love with me. Well, that's where you're wrong, Gus. Up until tonight, I always thought I had a schoolgirl crush on you. Like some girls had on Rudolph Valentino. But tonight, we met.  And then I realized that what I'd been feeling all this time was love. Real love, Gus. And you'd marry me just like this? Well, not just to get you out of trouble. I'd have to feel that someday you might love me as much as I think I love you. But do you realize it might not ever work out? Oh, I'm sure we could make a try. Work if we tried. I'd be willing to try. Oh, Gus, why don't we? Okay. We try. Oh. Mr. Luigi. Mr. Dems says you just got a marriage. You want to see the certificate? Don't you believe him? What are you getting so excited about? It's your wedding night, so I bring you a nice bottle of wine. That's all. Oh, that's very nice of you. Grazie. Now, now go. Good night. Hey, wait a minute. In there. Why you fix up the couch in a living room? Because I fix up couch. Ma, why? Because I fix up. All right. All right. All right. Ma, please, don't get so excited. Will you kindly go? All right. Anything wrong, Gus? No, no, no. You go to sleep in the bedroom now. I see you in the morning. But what was all that show? Nothing, nothing. Luigi brought a bottle of wine. That's all. Oh, how sweet. Why aren't you going to open it? Isabel, it's three o'clock. Please, please. You turn off the light and go to sleep. Only first you lock the door. But why? Never mind. Just lock it. All right.  Do you like it? Yes. Why? I don't know. I just like it. Can't I like it? Sure you can like it. Well, then I like it. Thank you. Now go to sleep. Gus, Gus, I know how this has been a very trying day for you. But I just want you to know how proud I am to have you for my husband. Good, good night, Isabel. You've been very, very nice and a gentleman. All right. And I'm terribly fond of you. Thank you, thank you. And I think I'd like to have you kiss me goodnight. No, please. Okay, very well.  Thank you, Gus. Now wait. Yes. One thing I must tell you. Why does a girl like you as sweet and lovely and charming get engaged to a nothing like that Henry Green? It seemed like the practical thing to do. Practical? Henry's so solid and conservative and with good common sense to hold me back. From what? From myself. Oh my goodness, you don't know what I'm really like. Well, I'm warm-blooded and impetuous and oh, oh. Really? But these feelings are quite normal that in everybody. Everybody? Even Italians? Especially Italians. Oh, Isabel. Oh, I would like to take you in my arms and hold you so very close and kiss you and... Why don't you? Because unfortunately you are my wife. Now, now go take the key and lock the door. Lock it? Lock the door. And after all this excitement if you can't sleep, you call me. I bring you hot milk. I read to you and I sing to you. But lock the door. Good night, Gay. Good night, Miss Cornporn. The curtain rises on Act 3 of Strictly Dishonorable, starring Janet Lee as Isabel and Fernando Lamas as Gus Carraffer with Maria Palmer as Lily. This the following day and the news of a Gustino Carraffer's marriage is in all the newspapers except Henry Donnellies. But Mr. Donnellies by no means defeated. Already he sent his best reporter to call on a handsome young woman named the Countess Lily, Chad Vinnie. Meanwhile, at Gus's apartment the newlyweds have a visitor. Oh, Uncle Nito, good morning. So, my fine American opera singer. Isabel, this is my Uncle Nito, my wife. Congratulations to your both. Oh, thank you. Thank you kindly. I hope you're happy.  Oh, no. What is wrong with Mama? She picks up the paper and her own son is married in the middle of the night without permission. How is Mama? To me is no surprise. All the time more scandal. It's a nice vest you got on. You through with it? Yes. I'll give it to you. How is Mama? Very bad. It's no use. Mama is through with you. I'll call her on the telephone right away. She will not talk to you and I will talk to you just the once a month when I come for the check. Gus, I don't understand. Why is your mother so angry? Well, you see, to Italian mothers if a son gets married without permission, well, he's a very big insult. Oh, then let's get her permission. It's so simple. No, it's not so simple, but we try. Come, idea. Get your call. Uh, see you buy new neckties, huh? Yes, I buy new neckties. Just to tell me one thing. Why you buy with dots when you know I like a stroke? You don't like, you don't wear. I will, just one. But it will look lousy with my blue suit. My blue suit. Now, Harry is a very good home with Uncle Nito. Mama, Mama, please, Mama. All right, all right. I forgive you get married without permission. But why? Three o'clock in the morning. Believe me, Mama, it was important. Why? Sometimes it's very necessary to get married at three o'clock in the morning. If the boy says it was necessary, maybe it was necessary. Please, you stay off my side. In Italy, a decent man does not get married three o'clock in the morning. Mama, listen, when it's three o'clock here it's nine o'clock in Italy. So was it bad with nine o'clock? Please, you keep out. Will you keep out? I'm just trying to help you.  Now be quiet, both of you. Mama, Mama, I just want to assure you that when Gus and I got married without your permission we didn't mean any ill will or disrespect. And I want you to know that as long as I'm Gus's wife I'll do everything I can to give him happiness. And we've come here to humbly ask your approval. Gus, what is this one's name? Isabel. Hmm. It's very skinny. Oh, well, fasten it up. Isabel is not Italian. Mama, please. There are many other people in this country besides Italians. But who needs that? Hello? Guys? One minute. It's for you. It's Mr. Dems. Excuse me. Hello, Bill. I'll give it to you fast, Gus. It's Lily. Lily? Donnelly's got to her. Lily's suing you for breach of promise. Those love letters you wrote her. But if you get over to her apartment right away she says she might reconsider if you start an element proceedings tonight. No, Bill. I'm with Lily and I'll lawyer now. Okay. I'll be right over. Well, what is now with your Hungarian? Nothing, Mama. Nothing at all. Gus, is there anything? Come, Isabel. I drop you off at home. No. You leave, Isabel. We talk. All right. Goodbye, Mama. I phone you later. When? I don't know this afternoon. Two. Maybe three o'clock. Good. That's nine o'clock in Italy. See, Mr. Graf, as Mr. Vanny's legal advisor, I'm certain we have an airtight case of breach of promise. I should hate to have to read your very eloquent letters and court. He loves the ground. I walk on the ground below the ground. I walk on. All right, Lily. All right. Don't walk so much. But my client in a burst of generosity has agreed to call off the suit if you'll just authorize these annulment proceedings. I have all the papers right here. Bill, that's pretty rough, Gus.  Goodbye. Now, this is a terrible thing to do. I have obligations to Isabel. You also have an obligation to the public. They've made you. They're entitled to go on hearing you sing. You're right, darling. Besides, I hate to drag you into court now. I have nothing to wear. But if I married yesterday and I signed an annulment today, this also is going to be in the paper. Oh, no, no, no, no. We're willing to wait a reasonable length of time. You'll notice that these papers are not dated. Ain't got you, Gus. All right. I sign. You're being very wise, Mr. Cranther. Bill, what do I tell Isabel? You tell her about this now, and she'll go out and sign a suit of her own and wouldn't not only just love that. But I must tell her. Sure, sure. Two or three months from now when things cool down, you'll tell her we'll go someplace and get a nice, quiet annulment. In the meantime, then, where do you like to sleep near the wall of the window? Why? Because you're moving in with me. It's the only sensible thing to do. I suppose so. Discaraging, but sensible. May I come in? Isabel.  Isn't Bill here? No, no, no. He's out. You look very nice, Isabel. Thank you. It's been so long since I've seen you. Yes. Over a week. Well, I see Mama every day, and she tells me all about you. Mama likes you, Isabel. Very, very much. Well, it's nice that somebody in the family can get along with me. Oh, Gus, why did you move in here with Bill? Isabel is just like I told you, this arrangement. It's just better for a while. Anyway, I've made up my mind, Gus. I'm here to say goodbye. Goodbye? I think it might be best if I went back home for a while. Back home to Mississippi? All the way to Buffalo? There's a train tomorrow at four o'clock. Tomorrow at four? And what are you doing tonight? Nothing. What are you doing? Well, Bill is away. So I have to do some reading. Here? No, no, no. I go and read to a sick friend. Oh, well, I'll be home if you want me for anything. Thank you. And in case I don't see you tomorrow, goodbye, Gus. Isabel, no, no. Wait. Yes? Would you like me to take you home? Oh, very much. You would? I don't think I should, no. I'm going to a married woman's apartment alone. Oh, are you afraid? Isabel, tell me, just what are your intentions to hold me? Strictly dishonorable, honey. Directly dishonorable. Let's go. Sweet of you to stop by. Good morning, Lily. Lily, I have something very important to tell you. Darling, how exciting. What? I know it may sound ridiculous to you, but it cannot be helped. I am in love with my wife. Gus, how nice. I don't want to hurt you, Lily, but I love this girl very much. So if you'll give me back my letters, I'm sure we can work out some satisfactory arrangement. Do you really think so? But if you prefer to make trouble, this time I don't even care. You can ruin my career, do whatever thing you want. I will not give up this girl. You must love her very much. More than anything in life. Darling, how wonderful. And you must not worry about letters or my broken heart. I understand such things. I am Hungarian.  Now, could I have my letters? Your happiness is all that matters. Thank you. Thank you again, but my letters, dear. When? You have matinee performances. Yes, I sing fast, but the letters... I will bring to your dressing room this afternoon. Oh, Lily, you are not a countess.   Please, Gus, just go and... and don't worry. Thank you, Lily. Thank you kindly. I understand you've been calling me. I've been in call. Never mind. About those annulment papers. The ones Karafa signed. Fill in the date. Today's date. And take them over to his wife. Today's date? You... But we promised him that we'd wait until he gave us... Do you hear me? Or do I get other lawyer? I wanted an annulment to go through now. I couldn't leave New York, Mama, without saying goodbye to you. Isabel, but this morning you're telephone. You're so happy.  Well, yes, he did come home last night, Mama, but... And you're telling me that we win.  A man is not the maid out of wood. Oh, we won, all right. We want a trip back home. Well, you can tell Gus that I don't blame him. Something is wrong. He said it does not make a sense. But I told you, Mama, Gus signed the annulment papers this morning. And then that lawyer, Mr. Bailey, well, he came to see me, and... Well, I'll just sign them, too. And you can tell Gus when I get home, I'll send back his suitcase, and... Oh, Mama, I guess I'll always love you. Isabel! I've got to go, Mama. I've got to catch my train. Say goodbye to Uncle Nito. Uncle Nito, yes. Uncle Nito. Nito, Nito, come, quickly! Augustine, I don't have to get excited. When I enter, I go on stage in one minute. Yes, I know. But your wife is running away. She's what? You kick her out, so she's going to take the train home. What do you mean I kicked her out? You kick her out when you sign the annulment papers. When does the train leave? 15 minutes, pencil venue station. You come with me, Mama. Come, come! The music will stop for a minute. Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you please to forgive me. I must leave the opera and stop the train. Believe me, it is very, very important. And don't worry about the opera from here on. You don't miss much. You see, this fellow Faust, he sells to me his soul, and he meets this margarita, and they fall in love. And her brother comes and everybody fights, you see. He fights with her, she fights with him. This one goes crazy, that one gets killed. So, then I take Mr. Faust back where I come from and you know where that is. So, I'll tell you what. Look, I'll tell you what I'll do. Next week I sing Mephistophiles again, and meantime, I pay you back all the money for today. Please forgive me and thank you. Mama, believe me, Mama, I did sign the paper, but I didn't sign the paper. It was Lily. Never mind. You go. And if you don't bring back Isabel. I bring, I bring. Don't worry. Belle, you stay with Mama. Where is, where is Caraba? Uh-oh, the carless, the poison. If he does this, I give these letters to Donnelly. I smear him across front page of paper. I destroy this man. So, where is he? He's in his dressing room, Countess. Now, you just come with me. Oh, no. I go with the lady. It's family affair. What's going on in there? Just two ladies with a difference of opinion about some little baby material. Mr. Debsi, would you burn these letters, please? Why, thank you, Mama. It's a pleasure. Isabel, Isabel, it is me, your husband, Agustino. Oh, but that costume, you look like... I know, I know. In the opera. That's where I come from. Oh. Oh, darling, darling, it's only mistake. Well, I have to stop this train. Oh, but why did you sign the paper? I signed the paper, but I didn't sign the paper. What's the idea of stopping this train? Well, you didn't sign the paper, but I thought... Will you forget the paper? Oh, I love you.  You really love me. I love you so much. Now, tell me, this train goes to Mississippi? Mississippi, no, that's track 10. This is track 11. Oh, no, well, no wonder I couldn't find my bag. I told the board of track 10. Oh, my prudies are so upset. Please, now, tell me, where does it go? It's the Canadian Limited. It goes to Niagara Falls? Yes. Good, we take it. Thank you. Oh, but because we have no clothes, no reservations, nothing. What's the difference, darling? We are going to Niagara Falls. Well, I suppose they do have shops there. Of course. Darling is one of the nicest towns in Florida. Women are stars who return. But now here's Ken Carpenter with news about mouth health. Ben? Millions of Americans have found that chloride and tooth... Here they are two strictly distinguished stars, Janet Lee and Fernando Lama. Thank you for the distinguished, but we're also a little disgruntled. That'll never do. What seems to be the problem? Well, you see, for a change, Janet would like to play a siding in a picture. Yes, something strictly, strictly dishonorable, like the bad and the beautiful Metro Golden Mayors' new picture starring Lana Turner and Chuck Douglas. You know, when I was in pictures in the Argentine, I wasn't always the hero. I played many, many bad men. Well, I don't know how bad you are, Fernando, but there's no doubt that Janet is beautiful. She's one of our loveliest lux girls. Well, there's no doubt about my being a lux girl. Lux soap is certainly my favorite. And did you know Fernando used to be starring the Lux Radio Theater in Buenos Aires? And he's a South American swimming chap? Well, the man does everything. He's a fine singer, and he's probably an expert horseman, too. What is it they call them in South America, Fernando? Goucho, goucho. Oh, crazy. I dig you, too, George. George? Who is this man, George?  Which brings us to another MGM comedy called The Cloud, starring Red Skelton and Jane Greer. You know, red speeches are always great favorites in my country. Oh, and I hear you're traveling to another country for next week's play. That's right, Janet. United Artists send a wonderful cast and crew all the way to Africa to make this picture. And it was so sensational that both stars were nominated for Academy Awards. It's the fascinating adventure of the African Queen and recreating his original Academy Award-winning role will be Humphrey Bogart. And as his co-star, one of the most beautiful and gracious ladies in Hollywood, Greer Gosson. I shall be listening. Good night. Good night. Good night. Has this happened to you, all dressed to go out for an evening and then, uh-oh, a run in your stocking?  But stocking runs are a nuisance anytime and often unnecessary because you can cut stocking runs in half, make one pair of nylons wear like two. And it's very simple. Just never let harsh washings with strong wash day products wear out your stockings in the wash. Delicate nylons, like delicate lingerie, need the safest care you can give them. Lux Flakes Care. Safe Lux Flakes melt completely into a silky cleansing foam. And each gentle washing in pure Lux Flakes has a special action that keeps nylon threads strong as new, washing after washing. Lux Flakes Care doubles stocking wear. Well, that's like getting an extra pair of nylons with every pair you buy. So start using Lux Flakes tomorrow. 95% of stocking manufacturers recommend Lux Flakes. They're guaranteed by Lever Brothers Company. Lever Brothers Company, the makers of Lux Toilet Soap, invite you to be with us again next Monday evening when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Greer Gossen and Humphrey Bogot in The African Queen. This is Irving Cummings saying good night to you from Hollywood. Tonight we're a Maria Palmer as Lily, Ted Necorsia as Bill, Jane Ovello as Luigi, Jeanette Nolan as Mrs. Peccatori, Bonnie Phillips as Donnelly, Jonathan Hall as Henry, Stephen Dunn as the reporter, Herbert Butterfield as Uncle Nito, Helen Van Tile as Mama, William Johnstone as the lawyer, Dorothy Fay as Marie, Robert Griffin as Charlie, and Eddie Maher as the stage manager. Our radio play was adapted by SH Barnett, and our music was directed by Rudy Schrager.


All right, welcome to Mac GeekGab. And our quick tip of the week actually comes from me. You know, when you've got those personal automations that you create in shortcuts on your iPhone, and you know, it's like, if this happens, do that, like turn on a light or turn on card play or turn, or not turn on card play, but turn off Wi-Fi or turn off my battery or whatever. And it asks you before it runs every time. And a lot of those, you can go into that automation. You go to the shortcuts app, automations tab in the middle there, at least that's where it is in iOS 16. And then choose your automation. And there is an ask before running option. Turn that off and it will no longer ask you before running. More quick tips like this, plus your questions answered today on Mac GeekGab 984 for Monday, June 5th, 2020.