This episode was prerecorded as part of a live continuing education webinar. On-demand CEUs are still available for this presentation through all CEUs. Register at allceus.com slash counselor toolbox. I'd like to welcome everybody to part two of Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. We're going to continue learning about Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, obviously. In this section, we're going to explore the cognitive triangle, which is not going to be super new to any of you. We'll talk about creating the trauma narrative, cognitive processing, behavior management, and parent-child sessions. And then we're going to continue to talk a little bit about how TFCBT, or Trauma-focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, can be used with adult clients who are dealing with trauma-related symptoms. So cognitive coping is kind of where we're going to start, obviously. Helps you recognize and understand the difference between accurate and inaccurate thoughts about how safe you are, about how trustworthy other people are, about whether this incident is your fault or not. And it also helps identify helpful and unhelpful cognitions, because sometimes things are accurate but they're unhelpful to really focus on. So we'll talk a little bit more about that as we go through the trauma narrative. Cognitive coping helps you recognize the distinction and relation among feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. And we talk about that a lot in different venues in different ways, whether you're talking about your emotional mind and your wise mind, or in your emotional mind and your wise mind. We want to help people figure out how to make that distinction. We want to help them generate thoughts that are more accurate or more helpful to a happy, healthy life. There are some unhelpful thoughts. For example, once a trauma has occurred, they are traumatized. They are victims, but they can also perceive themselves as survivors. Which way is more helpful to think about a situation? Is it accurate that they were a victim of some type of crime? Yes. Now, how is it most helpful to think about that incident henceforth and forevermore? And cognitive coping can help to change people's feelings and behavior by helping them think differently. And as I just highlighted, the difference in a person's approach and perception and all kinds of things is drastic between people who view themselves as victims versus people who view themselves as survivors. You can hear it in their vocabulary. You can hear it in their, the tone of their voice. You can see it in some of the actions that they take many times. So our cognitive triangle. Now remember, TFCBT is really geared to be used with children and adolescents. So it's presented in a way that's going to be a little bit more meaningful to them. Cognitive triangle helps you see that your behaviors can produce feelings. You can do things that make you make yourself happy or you can do things that make yourself sad. When you have to clean your room or your house or do laundry or whatever it is, that behavior kind of makes me unhappy having to do it. However, I can change my thoughts about having to do the laundry and reflect on how awesome it'll be when all the laundry is done or when the house is clean because I really do prefer a clean house. So we can talk about very mundane things in terms of thoughts, feelings and behaviors and how they're all connected and how if you're having unpleasant thoughts, it may cause unpleasant feelings and the desire to escape or lash out. Whereas if you have more pleasant thoughts or empowered thoughts, it can encourage you to feel more determined and optimistic and choose alternate behaviors. So we're going to talk some early in therapy about some of the presenting behaviors that we're seeing and ways that the youth can handle the thoughts and feelings that are causing those behaviors. So when we try to apply the cognitive triangle, we're going to differentiate between thoughts, feelings and behaviors will generate scenarios to illustrate how thoughts impact feelings and behaviors. So like I said, you're going to talk about different things like what behaviors make you happy. When you do these what what is it that you can do that helps you feel happy. Those are things we're going to want to hang on to for later, or even maybe right now. So when the person is having a dysphoric moment. I suggest to them what pleasant behaviors what pleasant activities. Can you try to engage in in order to help yourself feel a little bit better. If you go back to the standby dbt accepts and improve the moment, and you can Google those I'm not going to, you know, bore you with going through those again. But those are things that we can talk about why do those things work. Why does it work to go out and contribute or volunteer in order to help improve the next moment and help you accept how things are. So we'll talk about how that relates to the cognitive triangle and encourage you to apply it to real life. And we're going to talk about things that cause negative feelings as well. And we'll talk about how changing their thoughts and help them see how changing their thoughts can change how they feel as well as how they act and how they interact with other people. The important thing to understand though is not everybody, especially children, but not everybody is going to be able to effectively differentiate between thoughts and feelings. If you go back to the Kiersey temperament sorter the Myers Briggs whatever you're familiar with. There is a dimension in temperament thoughts and feelings are thinker thinkers and feelers, but feelers tend to experience things very emotionally, and they're comfortable with feeling words, whereas thinkers tend to be less comfortable with feeling words and they'll talk more about reactions and they're more into problem solving. So having them get over into those feeling words may not even be kind of who they are or how they're wired. I don't want to squelch someone and make them feel like they're failing. If they're not using the feeling words that I want, I do want them to be able to articulate when something happens. What their reaction is, even if we don't use the F word feelings. We can talk about reactions and sometimes reactions involve thoughts and that's okay. For example, optimism. If you have optimistic feelings you also feel optimistic, probably, or optimistic thoughts you also feel optimistic. So, separating was it the thought or the feeling that you were having and it was kind of both because we generally don't think optimistically if we don't feel optimistic. You could argue that you could say when you're in a bad pessimistic mood if you change your thoughts you can change your attitude but you see how the distinction starts to get a little bit gray because we use a lot of feeling words to describe our thoughts. So, the take home message is if somebody gets stuck here and is having difficulty differentiating the triangle. You know, that's okay. We don't want to get stuck here and you can move on past. Children under eight will likely struggle identifying their personal thoughts. So, one thing you can ask them is what would somebody else think and when my little girl was young she used to watch a show called Max and Ruby, and it was about a couple of bunny rabbits. So, I could always ask something like what would Ruby feel or what would Ruby think or what would Max think or feel in this particular situation. And that helped her get outside of herself because what was going on inside of her head was not always what she was able to access and clearly articulate. So, it gives you something to talk about. Once you figure out, you know, in Haley's case, if she would have told me what Ruby was thinking, I would ask her well, do you think you're thinking something kind of similar or do you disagree with her. And we could talk about it a little bit more from there. So, during this cognitive triangle, you're going to be doing a lot of work with the parents as well because parents have some very unhelpful and somewhat inaccurate sometimes cognitions. Some common thoughts that you're going to be dealing with in the parent sessions are, I can only be happy if my child is happy. So, we want to look at that and address it for how accurate it is versus how helpful it is. We want to help them choose alternate thoughts. For example, I can find things to be happy about to show my child that happiness is possible. So, it's really not helpful if the parent chooses to remain unhappy until the child is happy. It's kind of holding the child hostage to and they're going to end up kind of in a struggle because the child may feel guilty or wrong for feeling happy. If mom or dad or caregiver or whomever it is, is still upset and completely overwhelmed with whatever is going on. The parents, again, or caregivers may think I can't trust anyone anymore. So, are you hearing some cognitive distortions in here? The extreme thinking. So, we want to look at who can you trust? Is it accurate that you can't trust anyone anymore ever again? Most likely not. So, we want to look at who can you trust and in general, how do you feel about people? I mean people will make mistakes, people will forget things. Most people are not 100% on the ball 100% of the time and they'll goof, but they may not be malicious in their goof. So, these are different shades of trust that we can examine with the parent to help them move towards a more helpful thinking of how can I interface with a world which now seems a lot more dangerous to me. Being strong for my child means I should never feel upset. Again, cognitive distortions right here. Never feeling upset. Wow, I would love to never feel upset, but it doesn't happen. So, what do we take from that? How can we help parents find a different, more helpful thinking or thought pattern here? Being strong means doing what you have to and I'm doing that. So, maybe the adult is getting upset, is having a depressive moment, is anxious, is, you know, dysphoric in some way, but that's okay. That's how that person feels and they are working through it in order to model to the child that sometimes you got to push through tough things. The final one that comes up or one of the final ones that comes up often is good parents always know the right thing to say to their children.  I know I did. I'm a good parent, so I should know what to say all the time and I get proven wrong so often. So, is it helpful or even accurate? I mean, are good parents 100% infallible? And I think the answer is no, because none of us is 100% infallible. So, how do we rephrase that in a way that's helpful? Although we try our best, even the best parents don't know the best thing to say sometimes. When parents are dealing with children in crisis, sometimes, you know, what may go over well on Tuesday may fall completely flat on Wednesday. And part of that is just being human. I mean, the same thing can be said for dealing with anybody, but it's important for parents to understand that just because they didn't hit the mark doesn't mean they're a bad parent. It just means they didn't hit the marks and they need to step back and figure out what do I need to do next? What's my next step? So, you're going to spend quite a bit of time in TFCBT working on addressing current cognitions and what they think they should be doing. And helping people feel stronger, more empowered, more capable to deal with life on life's terms before you get into the trauma narrative, because the trauma narrative is very powerful. The purpose of it is to help control intrusive and upsetting trauma related injury. Basically, through systematic desensitization is, they don't say that in those words, but basically that's what we're looking at. Gradual repeated exposure until exposure doesn't cause the intrusive memories and the physiological and psychological upset. Helping to reduce avoidance of cues, situations, and feelings associated with trauma exposure. So again, as the youth becomes, and the parents, become more used to being exposed to those cues and those situations, the idea, the goal is that they can be exposed to those situations and it won't make them be as physiologically or psychologically reactive. If you've worked with trauma clients before, you know how overwhelming it can feel to some of them most when they encounter a situation that was similar to the situation in which they were traumatized. Whether it's seeing it in a scene on TV or going past the place that it happened or, you know, if it was something traumatic, maybe they got into a really bad car accident and somebody was killed or whatever on the interstate. Just getting on the interstate can be overwhelming for some people. So we want to start talking about what situations trigger your emotional and psychological responses that relate back to this trauma. And how can we help you get to the point where you can be exposed to these cues without getting so upset because you don't want to be stuck in your house and kind of trying to avoid all of these cues. So we're reducing avoidance issues here. We're also going to help identify unhelpful cognitions about traumatic events. I shouldn't have been talking to strangers. I shouldn't have been playing with matches.  But looking back, we don't want the child to necessarily blame themselves. We really don't want the child to blame themselves for something that happened to them at the will of another person. We want them to realize that in that particular situation, they didn't have control over what was going on or they were trying to do the best they could at that point in time. We want to help the child recognize, anticipate and prepare for reminders of the trauma. So when they come up, the child can deal with them. Like I said, sometimes you'll be watching TV and a reminder will come up. It is not uncommon, especially with TV shows like Criminal Minds and whatever it is, Special Victims Unit. I can't think of the name, the series name, but there is a lot of really kind of graphic traumatic stuff that's just on primetime TV. So if someone has experienced this, it can trigger an emotional physiological reaction. And we want them to be able to figure out what to do. Now is it necessary for them to sit there and watch an entire episode of SVU? No. However, if that comes on, we want them to be able to change the channel or get up and leave the room or do whatever they need to do. But we want them to be able to do that without getting extremely upset first. And the trauma narrative also helps break apart thoughts, reminders or discussions of the trauma from overwhelming negative emotions. So as you start to talk about it, it will become more of a narrative and less of a overwhelming experience. So there's stepping back and almost becoming the authors of a narrative, which is why it's called a narrative.  I worked for a couple of years with Guardian Adelidem as their criminal case coordinator. So the kids that we were working with were kids who actually had been victimized in a way that they had criminal cases. So they were abused or neglected in some way. And there were a lot of laws about who could talk to the kid, who could actually talk about the issue with the child, what procedures had to be used, etc. Encouraging discussion of the trauma may be perceived as coaching, implanting memories or tampering with testimony. Now, there's a lot of evidence out there, a lot of research that says if it's done inappropriately, you can very certainly implant memories and tamper with testimony. Now, and I'm not saying people do it intentionally improperly, but that's why it's so important to make sure that if you're going to do a... If you're going to implement TFCBT, that you actually get fully certified in applying the technique. In TFCBT, the therapist does not lead children by suggesting details or asking leading questions. And that can be really hard for us because one of the things we do a lot with adults is ask semi-leading questions to try to get them to come along and pull out the narrative. And it has to be done so much more carefully with children. So the trauma narrative is kind of a hotbed. It is somewhat controversial. So just putting that out there if you work with children who do have current pending legal cases. So if you are doing TFCBT, when you begin the trauma narrative, you decide on the best format and that is going to be up to the child. They may want to do a poem, they may want to do a book, they may want to do a song or an opera or a picture, a collage type book or a picture book, whatever it is that works for them and that's developmentally appropriate. Obviously, a seven or eight year old is probably not going to write a 20 page narrative. So how can we help this child articulate what is going on with them? How can we help them get it out and get it on paper so to speak? The other thing you can do now with the advent of computers is there are computer programs that allow them to do some illustration and some animation if they want to. So think about different multimedia ways that you can help the child get the narrative out there. Start with a general introduction of the child or person. So they start out by saying, you know, my name is Samantha Kelly, I am seven years old, I'm from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, blah, blah, blah, blah. Your basic introductory stuff.  And there are three ways to do it depending on what works best for the child. You can start with what happened before the day of the trauma and work forward. So you can have them think back to the day before the trauma. Tell me what you were doing and what happened. And then on the day of the trauma you woke up and you know what happened after that and what was the next step. So you can take help the child move sequentially through what's going on using as many anchors as possible. You might ask them what you ate for breakfast. And obviously we don't want to implant memories or ask leading questions so we want to ask things that are innocuous. What did you wear that day or did you go to school, gets some ideas about what happened and then prompt the person to keep going. You can also start with the day of the trauma. And so they've introduced themselves they've talked about a little bit about who they are, and maybe why they're doing this, and then they launch into on the morning of September 7, yada yada yada. The other way you can do it, which is relatively difficult for most children, but it can be done and for some it makes sense is to start from the present and work backwards. So working back to right now you're in therapy. What led to you getting in therapy. Okay, what happened that caused you to get in therapy and then you're at that traumatic event again. But you can see how that can be challenging to kind of follow that path backwards, especially when we're getting into sort of nitty gritty detail. Most people do stories or narratives from the past to the present. You want to encourage sharing of thoughts and feelings during the event. So, as the youth goes through the narrative as they're writing it down, encourage them to talk about what were what were you thinking at that point in time what were you feeling. And if the feelings become overwhelming, you can back off. And then as the child is able to tell their story without getting completely upset remember this is, I said this is a lot like systematic desensitization. Once they can tell their story sort of objectively, without getting dysphoric, go back and start adding thoughts and emotions later. And you're not going to get them the whole time, or every time, every time you go through you're probably going to get new thoughts and new emotions that oh yeah I was thinking this. And sometimes the thoughts and emotions are going to change. And it's important to help the youth understand that that's okay. That is their brain trying to remember and kind of put together all the pieces of what happened. And it doesn't mean they're lying it doesn't mean they can't remember. We just want to know, what are you thinking that your thoughts and feelings were now, because our past memory of a past events is never 100% accurate and we're always going to remember a little bit differently every time. So once they write the narrative, and this will happen over several sessions, they're going to present and read the narrative to you. You may want to go back at that point, if it's not already included, and have them add or highlight identify in this narrative what was the worst part for you, and talk about what was going on there and their thoughts and feelings. You continue to read through the trauma narrative several times over several sessions identifying thoughts and feelings, and correcting cognitive distortions and errors to the best that you can. I mean, obviously, the child has their own beliefs and I'm not going to tell them they're wrong for being scared or they're wrong for this or that, but I'm going to present some challenging questions about cognitive distortions like everybody is dangerous. Or I am a bad person. So we're going to talk about some of those things. After several exposures, the child will typically experience progressively less extreme emotional reactions and physiological reactivity, expecting it to go away completely is not going to happen, at least not in this first six or eight sessions, most likely. You will see a dramatic reduction in their reactivity as they go through the narrative. It's important to help the child create a positive and optimistic ending to the narrative. You don't want to just say okay this was the trauma you ended up at the emergency room or whatever happened, and the end. Once they get through the trauma. We need to say alright, what's the next chapter. How does this end. We don't want them to realize that the traumatic events they experienced are only one part of their life. It's one chapter in a very, very long book. And that they don't have to be defined only by what happened to them. Is it going to affect them. Are they different now than they were before. Sure. They're also different now than they were in fifth grade than they were in fourth grade because they know different things and they've done different things. So life changes us. And, but you don't have to be defined by the trauma. I want to help them take all that. And that's very conceptual and very abstract, which is very difficult for children under the age of about 11 to even start wrapping their heads around, but they can. I mean children are pretty smart and encourage them to figure out, where do we go from here. What do I want my life to look like what am I going to do with this now that I have it. Encourage the children to include in the narrative ways in which they are different now than when the traumatic events happened and when therapy began. So we've gone through writing the narrative. And we want to talk about ideally how things have improved. That's kind of what we're shooting for here. When the traumatic events happened, they may have been devastated, they may have been overwhelmed, they may have been really angry. How are they different now. And like I said, hopefully we're going to find some positive things. And there may have been a space between the trauma and when therapy began. So when therapy began, what were they like. And how are they different now. And again, hopefully we'll find the things for the better. What have they learned from going through the trauma and creating the narrative. And that's a hard one. That's a hard one for most adults to answer. But the goal is to help them learn that they are really strong people, and they have a lot of resilience, and that it is possible to be happy, even now. And you can ask them what advice they might give to other children who've experienced similar types of trauma. So sometimes I know when I used to come home from school and my mom would say, what did you learn today. I'd look at her and I'd roll my eyes. Because I was that kind of just wonderful child to be around. But you may get the same thing when you ask the child, what have you learned from going through this trauma. They're going to look at you like, whatever. Or they may look at you and not really understand the trauma or understand the question how am I supposed to learn something from this. So you can turn it around and say what advice might you give another child who is has experienced this type of trauma. And that is just a different way of saying what did you learn. So you may have to choose your words you may have to pretend you're a reporter and ask the same question like six different times to hit the mark and get to what you're talking about not to say that you're trying to get them to answer it the way you want them to. But sometimes they just don't understand what you're asking the first two or three or six ways you ask it. So working and working with the child to try to clarify what you're getting at and what you're hoping that they're going to be able to provide an answer to other things to consider is the fact that many people experienced multiple promise. Remember on the adverse childhood experiences survey was a hard time remembering what the aces stands for anyhow, most of those youth had experienced multiple traumas, and the more traumas they experienced the more likely they were to have adverse consequences later in life. So, understanding that it's not unusual to experience multiple traumas, we want to focus on the ones which are currently causing the person distress. They have certain things in their life, maybe their parent one of their parents went to jail. And that's not really bothering them. I worked for many, many years with an involuntary population in felony probation and parole. And for some of my clients, going to jail was more normal than being out of jail. It was just, it was what it was. It wasn't like they were getting punished or something horrible was happening. It was just, I'm going to go visit Uncle Bob, because I came from a relatively small county. So people often did have friends and family members that were still in jail. So a youth may not take their parent going to jail, as something completely devastating, it may just be well, dad's gone away again for another six months. So that's just the way it is. We want to focus on the things that are causing junior distress. The goal is to have children discuss their traumatic experiences until the memories no longer cause significant symptoms of fear, anxiety and avoidance. Now you can imagine, when the youth starts writing the trauma narrative, or even if an adult is doing it, it can spawn all kinds of nightmares can spawn some behavioral acting out it can spawn flashbacks, or make those things worse. So it's important to make sure that the parents are prepared for that and they understand how to handle it, and what to do with it and the fact that it will get better. We want to help the parents as well as the youth predict and prepare for the distress from both the child and the parents which will arise during the discussion of the trauma narrative so after the narratives done. Now you're going to talk about with the narrative with the child in session without the parents, but we want to prepare the child ahead of time so they have the tools to deal with the distress that comes up with writing it and talking about it. But then there's going to be a whole other level of distress when they've got to present it to their parents when they go over it with their parents, and the parents are going to have their own issues to deal with relating to the trauma. So we want to make sure that we can predict and prepare for any uncomfortable feelings that may come up so we don't end up creating a situation where it becomes antagonistic or chaotic. During the narrative phase of treatment parents should be discouraged from questioning their child about the trauma narrative outside the therapy session. And what they mean by that is we don't want parents going home and saying, well let me read your narrative what did you what did you write about in therapy today. It may be too raw to sensitive for the youth to begin discussing. And if there are any feelings of blame towards the parents or guilt about what they did. A lot of things could go haywire and that kind of discussion. So when the youth is working on the narrative parents are encouraged to be supportive of their feelings without having to know exactly why tell me exactly what's going through your mind. That may not be helpful right now it's just helpful if the child is scared to be there to comfort him or her. Once the child completes the narrative he or she will share it with their caregiver parent, whomever during a or multiple therapy sessions. So during the narrative session of a part of therapy, you want to explain to the parent why it's important to write this narrative and help them understand why. Writing the narrative can help desensitize the child to extreme distress at the presentation of certain stimuli that remind them of the trauma. Prepare parents for the possibility that the child may seem initially more distressed but the behaviors will decrease over time. Ask them to describe their own knowledge about the event and reactions to learning about it. This will help the parent learn to tolerate discussion of the narrative with the child. So we're going to ask them not what do you think junior is going through but tell me about what this experience has been like for you. So again they're talking about something that is emotionally charged and potentially very devastating and encouraging them to get it out and get to the point where they can talk about it and still stay strong. If parents are prepared to respond supportively it will encourage the child to discuss about discuss issues about the trauma or any other issues as a matter of fact that arise in the future because this is probably one of the hardest things they're ever going to have to go through as parent and child. Sharing the trauma narrative is an ongoing process though. So share parts of the narrative with the parent as it's being developed. So you know the child is obviously going to know what's going on and as the narrative is developed and as you think it's appropriate. And there's a whole lot of stuff that goes into deciding timing on this, but you'll present parts of what the youth has written. So the parent is getting an idea about what's going through junior's head. And again it's sometimes it's really hard for parents to not take that information and go home and go let's talk about this. But it is imperative that they be patient in order to not make the child kind of withdraw and go oh I don't want to go there anymore that that was really an uncomfortable situation with my parents after session. Devote parallel parent sessions the parent reading the child's book or narrative to improve their ability to listen attentively and be supportive when the child shares it. Sometimes parents feel guilty and they want to jump in and go well I didn't do that, or you're remembering wrong, or they want to add and comment. And think about going to a movie and sitting in a movie theater with someone who just wants to comment through the entire movie about what's going on or what they should do or what they shouldn't do. You've ever been to a horror movie. Even when I'm at home, my family like narrates as they go through oh you shouldn't be going down the stairs. You know, we want to make sure that the parent can sit there and listen and hear without having to add their two cents throughout, and then when the narrative is done, then there's a discussion period. So the creation of the trauma narrative is both an end in itself, helping the child or adolescent tell his or her story with reduced anxiety and healthier emotions, a more sense of control, a sense of empowerment. But it's also a starting point for the exploration of how the child thinks and feels about the trauma and its impact. So they can tell their story now, but then there's a whole lot of stuff about okay how are you different now. And how do you feel about what happened, and how do you feel about who you are now. Many issues may remain salient for the child including shame and or stigmatization, because they're the only one, or they think they're the only one which we go back to psycho it for that feelings of responsibility, either for the trauma itself, or for events that occurred subsequent to do this to the discovery of the trauma. So maybe they were victimized by a spouse's significant other, or not a spouse appearance, significant other. And that significant other went to jail. So now the parent is angry, because their significant other went to jail. It's important for children to understand where their responsibility lies and be okay and feel okay with what they did. Unhealthy changes in their trust of others. Yeah, it's not good to trust everybody unfortunately that's just the way life is, but not trusting anyone ever sets people up to be very isolated. We want to look at attributions about the offender or the trauma what are they thinking about that person and what are they thinking about the trauma and unhelpful changes in perceptions about their own body or their own safety. And remembering, as I said before, when we're talking about trauma, we're not just talking about physical or sexual abuse, we can be talking about being a victim of a massive hurricane we can talk about being in a plane crash. Anything that is traumatic to the child is a trauma. So we need to look at how can we help them feel safe again. The goals of cognitive processing are to help children and parents understand the difference between accurate and inaccurate thoughts related to their traumatic experience. What could they have done, you know, in retrospect you can look back and go well I could have done this that and the other. But maybe not. You know, you've got to look at the bigger situation. What were you able to do at that point in time. And we want to correct cognitive errors to encourage more healthy thought processes around the trauma. We want to help parents examine their own thoughts about the child's traumatic experience for accuracy and helpfulness. In terms of how they feel about the child, how they feel about whatever the trauma was and how they feel about themselves as parents in relation to the trauma. And we're going to teach parents how to effectively challenge the child's cognitive errors. So if the child has a cognitive error of I am defective now and I will never be whole again. Then we're going to look at ways to challenge that. So the child can feel okay about themselves and will help parents develop the school, the skills to challenge that cognitive distortion. So cognitive processing involves challenging thoughts and beliefs that the child may firmly believe. So telling them oh no you're not. That ain't going to work. We need to make sure that we understand that this is what the child believes. So we need to provide them evidence to the contrary, or at least plant the seed that there may be some other alternatives, and the child may have to come around to that on their own. When you're going over the trauma narrative, as each thought is expressed you're going to inquire about whether that thought was accurate and helpful. So if they were having a particular thought that was inaccurate, or that was one of those shoulda coulda wouldas. We want to talk about whether that was helpful and whether it's helpful in the present to their recovery process. You'll pay close attention for thoughts or beliefs that reflect shame, guilt, or responsibility for the trauma or its consequences. You'll pay attention for thoughts or beliefs that reflect low self-esteem, and obviously we're good at helping with self-esteem. That's one of those that we can kick in some tools really easy there. There's no lack of trust in others, or fears for current and or future safety. So again remember I was talking about situations that included viewing domestic violence, being in a natural disaster, being in a plane crash or a car crash. There are a lot of different traumas that can happen that can make a child feel unsafe and not know when they are going to be safe. It's important to be able to help identify cognitive issues or thoughts that are constantly telling them you're unsafe and you're never going to be safe, and challenge those and help them develop a safety plan so they feel strong. You can change cognitions with a few things, and I liked these, which is why obviously why I put them in here. The client role play, the client is instructed to take on the role of his or her best friend and counsel the client. So basically, if your best friend was in this situation, what would you tell him or her? You're stepping out of the client role and you're being the expert, so what would you tell somebody? And then role play, the client is asked to go back in time to give himself or herself advice about what to do about the trauma before and or after it happens. So it's important to look for areas of shame here, areas of guilt. Responsibility pie, draw a pie chart and assign pieces of various sizes to different individuals who might bear some responsibility for the trauma and revise as needed. You know, there could be one piece, but generally there are three or four pieces when you're dealing with a child, mom and dad, or caregivers are in there somewhere. Finally, there's the suggestion of talk show host, the client assumes the role of a radio psychologist, you know, calling into Dr. Phil. The therapist takes the role of a caller seeking advice regarding their own experiences with a trauma. So as you hear cognitive distortions, you would take note of those, and then when you call in for advice, you would ask the child, you know, what should I do about this, and see if their distortion to change, if their thought process change, when they're telling somebody else what to do, versus what they're telling themselves. Many clients know the trauma wasn't their fault, but that doesn't necessarily mean they believe it. Head, heart and gut. There's often some attributions of responsibility. I know you say it's not my fault that I still feel guilty. Kind of heard that before. Don't automatically present the notion that it's not your fault, because there are some kids out there who never thought it was their fault they're like, no, it was it was a hurricane, it wasn't my fault. Some children may have an element of responsibility in a trauma as well.  There's a little bit of a difference there so you don't want to lose credibility by start saying from the very beginning, none of this was your fault. So know the story, know what's going on with it, and know what the child's attributions are. Ensure both the child and parents have adequately progressed before terminating treatment. We don't want to have them at the point where they're still really emotional or physiologically reactive when they encounter thoughts or reminders of the trauma. When you're talking with parents, common cognitive distortions, I should have known this would happen. I should have kept my child safe. My child will never ever be happy again. Our family is totally destroyed. My child childhood is ruined. The world is terribly dangerous and my child can never recover. Okay, almost all of those, if not all of them have extreme language in them. So you're going to want to look at those cognitive distortions and really challenge them to be more specific. Address absolutes by finding exceptions. So my child will never be happy again. Well, let's look over the past week was did your child have any happy moments. Most likely yes, and you may even encourage them to keep a journal of times when junior is actually happy because we want to see those increasing as therapy progresses. And use the child's progress to underscore the child's resilience and provide hope to the parent, because most of the time if we see something our kid can do we're like well I can do this too. So we want to help underscore the resiliency and self power in both the parent and the child and the family unit. Unfortunately, common consequences of trauma include disruptive aggressive and non compliant behavior. The child doesn't feel safe so the child child trying to get control again. Parents who feel guilty, often have difficulties controlling these types of behaviors so the child kind of runs wild. We want to teach parents to focus on actively praising the child for desirable behavior. We want to review with them don't just assume they know how to effectively praise. We want to review with them how to praise specific forms of behavior so if somebody put puts away their dishes after dinner. We're going to praise that instead of saying something more general like you were a good girl today or you are a good boy today. So I want to encourage the parent to provide praise as soon as possible after the desirable behavior and be consistent in their praise not just praise for two or three days and then quit doing it. Try not to negate praise with criticisms like you did a really good job at school today why can't you do that every single day. We want to take that end part off and say you did a really good job today. I encourage them to use an enthusiastic tone when praising the child but not so much that it's can it's obviously fake you know children pick up on that really fast active ignoring means avoiding responding to the child during a particular inappropriate behavior and immediately after it when a behavior is done and it doesn't get rewarded with attention. Obviously it won't be worth the effort and the child will stop. This is why temper tantrums in the grocery store or wherever it is the child will escalate for a little bit and if the parent gives in then they're going to get even worse the next time. But at a certain point the child is going to go you know not worth my effort. Okay fine. It's called behavior strain when the effort for the behavior is more costly than the reward is worth. You want to avoid verbal and emotional reactions I contact facial expression or any other form of communication toward the child during this period. But like I said it'll get a little bit worse before it gets better just like the temper tantrum in the grocery store. I'm going to prepare for what we call an extinction burst the child will go well I'm not getting your attention by asking so I'm going to ask a little louder and a little meaner and I'm going to ask a little louder. So it's going to escalate until the behavior costs more than the reward is worth. Obviously, you never want the parent to ignore dangerous behavior that would cause injury or worse. But we want them to ignore behavior such as defiant or angry statements directed at the parent because it's going to happen. Nasty faces eye rolling or smirking mocking taunting or mimicking the parent things that they know quote unquote will probably get under your skin. If you can ignore them eventually it's not going to be worth the effort they're like there's no reward in that. Additionally, you're going to look for reward times when the child accepts redirection or accepts a negative response. So if you go through active ignoring and they finally give up, then you can say something to the effect of I appreciate you recognizing that that wasn't a helpful way to go about asking for whatever it was you wanted. Time out. Remember, once the time up time out timer is started, actively ignore anything except for dangerous behaviors till then, and a time out should last no longer than one minute per age year. So if a child is three is no more than a three minute time out time out should not be in a rewarding environment if you send the child to their room. They have all kinds of stuff in their room. So that's not really an unrewarding environment, sitting in a chair in the hallway, a little bit more unrewarding. Explore the motivation behind the time out. Why was the child engaging in that behavior, and then directly tie the time out to the behavior, not the emotion. So I'm not punishing you for being angry. I'm punishing you for kicking the dog.  Contingency management can also be used. Reward contingencies must be developmentally appropriate though. So token stars and credits can be earned to reduce behavior strain. That works really well with most children and adolescents they can earn points in order to get TV time in order to get video game time, whatever. A small child can't add stuff up over the course of a week to get a reward. They're going to need rewards more quickly than that, like at the end of every day you can tally up how many stars or points they have. Address only one behavior at a time and involve the child in identification of what the reward should be. You know, they may not want the same thing that you think they want. So what do you want as a reward. If the contingency seems to be ineffective reevaluate to identify what's maintaining the behavior. Why is this inappropriate behavior more rewarding than doing the right thing. Part of it may be that they're not getting rewards frequently and intensely enough to maintain the good behavior. And so there's a fine line you've got to walk there in order to make sure that the child thinks it's more rewarding to do the right thing. Parents will demonstrate their comfort and hearing and talking about the trauma while modeling appropriate coping in parent and child sessions. The child can share the narrative and experience with a sense of pride, which further alleviates feelings of shame and distress associated with the trauma. They can say, you know, look how far I've come. The parent child communication about the trauma is enhanced and any misunderstandings can be cleared up such as is mom mad at me, or, you know, whatever their feelings maybe. And the groundwork is laid for the therapeutic parent child interactions to continue. You do want to prepare the parent to be able to effectively praise the child and encourage them to ask open ended non threatening questions, as opposed to critical questions such as, you know, well why didn't you ever tell me this before. That seems attacking and critical. Instead, you might say how did you decide that now is the time to tell someone. So in order to prepare for that you may need to rehearse or role play potential questions that the child might have in the parent sessions before you get into conjoined sessions. Prepare the parent to discuss the child's questions for them about the trauma and end the session by having parents and kids express appreciation to one another for something positive that happened in the last week. If, however, no matter how much preparation you do the parent cannot participate effectively in the conjoined sessions, you may need to skip it. Some parents may be too flummoxed with their own feelings and issues at that point in time and it would be more detrimental to both parties to go there. In many situations that parents as well as the children may benefit from psycho education about feelings coping skills stress management and the cognitive triangle. Parents will review the child's progress in parent focused sessions with the therapist to help them understand what the child's experiencing. Prepare for helping the child between sessions and get used to discussing the trauma narrative. Clinicians will help the parents address inappropriate child behaviors through the use of praise active ignoring time out and contingency management. And again remember it's not always possible to do the conjoined sessions because the parents may not be able to effectively manage their own emotions at this point in time. So if that happens, you can skip the conjoined sessions. Further guidance can be found here. And clickity click. Of course it's going to load. Trauma focus CBT for children and adolescents treatment applications I gave you a link to the Google book preview you can order the book if you want to it's not part of this particular class, but if you're interested in getting certified in TF CBT. That would be one of the first places to go. Okay, so are there questions. Okay, that being the case, I am going to go ahead and end the meeting remember you can always reach me. That's my direct email if you have any questions about the class need any clarification want further resources. If the child refuses to go to time out, and that's going to be something that you've got to take kind of on a case by case basis and you want to look at why is the child refusing. And generally, the child will end up losing other privileges. If they don't go to time out, but we can also, in certain cases, you may want to actively ignore that particular behavior it depends on what the time out is for what the child's issues are. And whether actively ignoring it is going to be a better solution at that particular point in time. You don't want to get into a power struggle where the parent and the child are going back and forth and back and forth. Definitely as far as the time of the time out. It doesn't go past the number of minutes per year age of the child. If you're going from basically strict behavioral guidelines. That is what I've always been taught and what seems to be most effective in the literature because three minutes is a really long time to a three year old and you know to an eight year old eight minutes is forever. I will look more on the if the child refuses to go to time out and I will post that in the class to get a answer from child psychologists on that one though. If you enjoy this podcast, please like and subscribe either in your podcast player or on YouTube. You can attend and participate in our live webinars with Dr. Snipes by subscribing at allCEUs.com slash counselor toolbox. This episode has been brought to you in part by allCEUs.com providing 24 seven multimedia continuing education and pre certification training to counselors, therapists and nurses since 2006.


Have you ever caught a fish? Man, Matt, did you hear that question? How come you can have it on the side? I can't. Welcome to episode number 25. I wanna have it on the side. You can have it on the side, but you can't turn away when you, look, you can't do like that. You can't, because you do that. You gotta like, you say something and then when you say something, you turn away. Because you shy about it. Sorry. Yeah, you get shy about it. I'll do it again. Sorry. Episode number 25 of the Muddy Michael Fully actual podcast, we are sponsored by the University of Marvel. If you wanna support this podcast, go on subscription website, subscription website. You can get all the uncensored content that we make. We make exclusive website videos. I was told him about the Bully video. Exclusive website videos. We do that.  We shoot each other with spud guns. There's one where we... Bully? Bully, we bully each other a lot. I believe it's not that. It's graphic. It's hard. Twister, Twister, Twister, we're filming tomorrow? I gave Matt the idea and he gave it back to us and said, Twister, Twister, after I gave him the idea.  Like poo. You see? We can't put that on social media though because Facebook gods will say, hey, come on, man.  Get out of here, mate. So he says that to me and I'm like, man, you've just backed me into a corner. Like, he's just come... Is that what you said, Matt? He come out of the shadows of me. Can you say something? We got me all like a bit puffed up, you know what I mean? Cause I was all backed up in the corner and he's confronting and standing over me and I fluffed my feathers up. What do you want to hear? Do that again. Last week, what did we do? Oh, we moved house.  You don't rock that much. It doesn't rock anywhere near what it used to.  This is basically a tree in someone else's backyard. And James come over with an axe, fucking, and make this. He made, yeah, a tree this. Matt, can you see the color definition? Yeah, you can see the table. God, it's hot. I love it. This is an 800, it went from a $100 table to an $800 table. You won't see the darker color on the bottom though. We could sell this. Oh, you can't see it. That's what you're talking about.   I haven't even told you this crazy story, man. OK, all right. Just cut into there and realize.   It's really, I was really excited to tell you guys. We have a thought. Sometimes Marty will be trying to be telling me something. And I'll be like, no, wait one second. I'm on the phone to this. Like 30 seconds later to do what happened. Dude, it's gone. Same thing.   I'll be like two people in front of me in the line. I'm like, what?  So I just happened once the other day, a step out of the line. And I'm like trying to remember what I was going to order.    Yeah, that's more of like a subconscious thing because you people just subconsciously drive when they're. Yeah, because it's like it's so weird. Have you ever fell asleep at the wheel? No, but very close that day at that new year's Eve when we're coming home. I was so close to nodding off. Remember the video we made? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I haven't. I don't intend string driving. It's hard to switch off if you've got something to concentrate on. Yeah, I never thought I would ever be able to fall asleep while driving because it's so hard for me to fall asleep. But oh, dude, I came up with that video. Wait, see who can stay awake driving the longest on a private road. So it's legal. No, we'll just go around one roundabout. Oh, that's fine. It's safe. Put his face sandstorm. Do do do do do do do do do do do.   We're talking about what we did last week.  OK, so, you know, the voice. Amon was meant to be on the voice, right? Yeah. There's a guy there, Adam. The guy he was like, he recognized me. Yeah, I love that guy. Really, and he was like the face of the show. So his Instagram has grown a lot.  He's grown very quickly. What was his role on the show? He was just a singer. I can test. Amazing voice.  His story was used as like. What's his like tag names? Like Mulletname. Adam, like Ludwig or something. I forget. Anyway, so I just saw the other day. I don't know if that's real or not.  And he signed them, a little signature at the bottom. And they looked like pretty well-in-conditioned shoes. It was up to like $10,000 US after a few hours, I think I saw.   Remember that haircut video? That haircut video is like 100 million views or whatever.  And so we threw into the dump. Yeah, yeah. If we had left a hair on it, if you look in the video and you watch the cutout of when I kicked it on you, when you were trying to use it as defense, it looks like the cutout of Australia. It's fucked.  Dude.  That is so sellable.  I'm going to show you.  It's ridiculous. It is, literally, we were Australia that day. We were all everything of the country.  Remember? Did you say, are you there? No, well, he wasn't even there. He just texted me and was like, dude, I'm getting like Australia. That's why you are so psychic like that. You're always brown. Three. Anyway, last week, yeah, we sustained some injuries. We went down a huge, we filmed a video called 10-Bin Bowling.  Not really.  It's a video where we just ride these toy go-karts down this hill and slam into 10 bins.  And it's like such a slow healing process. And now whenever I walk in shit, it just bleeds constantly.  It was healing. It was on the way to recovery. The scooter hit it. And now it's just, it's just fucked.   Like someone said that to me the other day, man.   And now we can't, do you know what I mean? Anyway, Matt came in at about 45 minutes to go and write these on these days.  Am I right, Matt? You wouldn't come in with 45 minutes to spare. To write these four of these days! Okay, so you're yelling, I'll back down. Matt, I apologize. I'm sorry. Say sorry. He's angry.  Sorry. On your house.   But you did have these written before you came here, though, right? You were these written before you came here. Please, tell me that. It took you 45, it took him hours to set this up. It was it. Yeah. It obviously, yeah. Oh, it's a new house, kept saying that. It's been here since 4 a.m. and now it's 5, 6 p.m.  He's done well. So this is... Apologize, really. I'm gonna settle you down. Just be honest, is this intense research or is this like, you got a bit lazy, a bit short of time?  Is that what happened? Or are you saying that you actually put in the time, you just weren't here when you did it? No, it's quality. All right. I want you. I want you. All right, we'll see, man. We'll see. On this day in 1998, Santa was recorded riding his sleigh onto Jeffrey Epstein's island.  Another picture showed Rudolph bending a girl's right leg back as far as it would go, while simultaneously bending her left leg in the other direction as far as it would go.  Santa says the photos are fake despite Mrs. Claus divorcing him shortly after the pictures were released. Oh. Santa's a bad guy, but fuck, it's good research. Makes sense.  Like, who else is that involved? How do you roll your a's like that? Who else hangs out with you like that? I don't know how to do it. Can you roll your a's? Matthew Gregory Brown. Sorry? Roll your a's. A's. A's? Roll your a's. Roll your a's, man. Roll your a's. Err. Roll your a's. Nah, I'd do it better than that. Err. I don't know. Errr. Oh, you remember how people used to do that for, I think? I'd do it. I've never learned how to do it. Now we're beatboxing. And this is turned into a beatboxing show. Is that the German heritage coming out? I don't know yet. I don't know how to do it. On this day in 1992, Tiger Woods drove a golf ball into a group of disabled animals. The ball shattered the skull of a down syndrome warthog and the other disabled animals attempted to flee as they saw Tiger line up another drive. A two-legged horse was struck on one of its remaining legs and exploded its shin into smithereens. The owners of the disabled animals noticed the commotion and stopped Tiger from delivering his third drive. Tiger said in an interview later that he thought the animals were fake.  What? Yeah, but like animals. Yeah, you can only really use it. He's like, just trying to have a good time.  You can only really use that excuse once and then when you see them try and scatter, like it would be like, you can imagine it or miss technology these days.  They could be driven out of one. It's like real life holograms.  No, but it could be. And then like obviously like. Simulation, dude. It's just a simulation. Honestly, it's another thing that makes me just like, Tiger Woods like, come on, you're losing fans.  Like one is acceptable.  A down syndrome one second. Aren't they like violent animals? And they just like heaps of them? They're just normal animals who protect their young when attacked. You can imagine a warthog, a down syndrome warthog, what that would look like. It's like Bosley. It doesn't Bosley hunt them. Yeah, Bosley's breed was breed. Bread. He was actually nodding there. He was bred to what kill. What did you research that? Must research that beforehand. That's why he's nodding like that. I want him on my lap, believable. On this day in 1999, DVDs launched an attack on cassette tapes. Cassette tapes took an early hit as they weren't expecting DVDs to be so sharp and such good quality. However, cassettes raised a strong resistance and fought back. DVDs were losing the war.   However, this would prove to be that downfall as the DVDs died from AIDS in the years that followed. Wow, dude, that is in the research. You did do your work this week. DVD. The first two were like, oh my God. Sorry for doubting you. Sorry for doubting you. You saved the day with that.   You saved the day. Are you breastfeeding? Because I want some. On this day in 2017, Taylor Swift glassed a security guard at Sin City, a nightclub at the Gold Coast. She was forcibly removed but managed to scratch deep wounds into the face of three of the bouncers. The security guards never pressed charges because they said that Taylor Swift said that she would have them killed if they snitched. She said that she would have their families hacked up and fed to third-world country people. She also always carries a knife.  Always carrying a knife.        Again, new house. But yeah, no, sorry, dude. This is on the table.  Which leads us to our next segment. Doesn't it, man? Roger, would you like to do this name? You've changed it again. How's your week been, mate? Let's hear him out. What do you mean up to? God, you're looking good. I wish you had a beanie on. I'm not telling you about my week. Nobody wants to hear about my week. Matt Brown is not true. Let us know if you'd like to hear about Matt Brown's weeks. Let me tell you something about this. Is that your nose?  I think it's my lungs. Hising with a leak. It's my lungs. Hising with a leak. Oh, my God. Matt! This is the next segment, mate. And this is a segment where we just answer questions. Do you guys just send him via Instagram and money?  Cunt, all right. Stip it away with an ankle. Stip it away. Stip it away with his ankle. Stip it away with an ankle. First question is from bread underscore 15. And he has asked, why? Well, great question, bread. No. First question is from Bob Waters. And his tag is Groovy Source.  Michael, any advice for somebody who has recently started pissing the bed regularly? Do you just sleep on a tarp? There are worse problems. Yeah, like you could be like, she could have no arms or something. And that's, fuck, that's not even, you could, at least you can't control that. As I said, unless you choose to cut your arms off. I have six ways of how to, I've got six ways of how to stop pissing the bed. Okay, here we go. Number one, stop drinking liquids three hours before bed. Number two, pee before bed, not before Netflix.  Okay, no, there is a problem. I've had friends, I've had friends with the same problem. And for me, it's from binge drinking.  He pisses his bed because he blacks out and can't wake up and then urinates. Yeah, but that guy wasn't specific.     Brank, brank, brank, brank, brank, brank, brank, brank, brank.  It was fear-based, but like, like, okay, quote from Billy Madison, peeing your pants is cool.   There are many awkward situations and hundreds of them for me. And like, but you just get used to it.  And yeah, I try and clean up. Make sure you clean it. Make sure you clean it, Michael. But it's fine, we say that. We say, it's fine, Michael. It's okay, it's okay.  Make sure you drag the mattress outside. It's so hard sometimes, Dragon, don't say over for a while. But it's fine. And replace my couch.   We went out all my slamming down shots of tequila and yoga master drippin' down our thights. And I get home, Michael's just passed out on my bed.  For half an hour. Got down to reception, trying to convince him to let me in and they're like, no, we can't help you. Got that upstairs with fueled anger.  All the neighbors are coming out. And I just don't care anymore, Matt. He was so mad.   I guess someone needs to invent not an adult nappy but a bender nappy.  And that's yourself, release. Because I go to the door after like two hours of him banging and I know I've done wrong. I was like, I've pissed his bed and I go to the door.  And I can hear he's angry from the knocks. I answer the door and I'm like, dude. Oh, I'm sorry.  Go away. I don't want to talk to you.  And all I wanted to do was sleep. Do we can't go to sleep in his bed?  Thank God he's the best friend that can understand me.   It's so awkward. It's so embarrassing at times.  Pissing a bed or couch ain't that bad if you could. It's not like I bought a gun and shot. Me? Yeah, I haven't shot you.    That's a script to go by that Michael used for many years. I don't condone that script at all. But you did write it. You don't condone it, but you did write it. I was a producer.  This one's for you from the same guy. Bob Wallace has asked you. Oh man, so many embarrassing situations. Does eating a burger or any beef arouse you?  Tearing the raw flesh from its bones, not cooked beef. It's too old. Cooked beef just reminds me of a job left too late. Okay, and you gotta cook them when they're raw.  Yeah, yep, I would experiment with that. It's not, definitely it hasn't been a fetish of mine, but it's like saying, oh, would you have a sip of water while having sex with someone? It's just, it's a normal thing. Yeah, I could do that. I haven't thought about it, but yeah, I will do that for you and let you know how it goes. This is from underscore Jesse Courts, most embarrassing sexual experience. So very early on when I first became sexually active, there were times where we'd go out and I'd pick up a girl or whatever, we'd go back to their place and on my way into the house. Like, I don't know, very weird way to think, but I would purposely leave all of the doors slightly ajar so that I knew how to leave. I would do that like, with every, I would do that every time. So you could sneak out. So I could leave, yeah. So you wouldn't have to make that. So I wouldn't have the awkward shit in the morning and I just wanted to not be there. So yeah, after she fell asleep and I'd leave and I'd sneak out and yeah, like there were times where it was definitely like. They knew that you could leave. Well, yeah, like very early on I'd trip and be too loud and I could sense that they were stirring and waking up and then they would be able to hear me panicking and grabbing my shit and legging it out of the house and none of the doors were like closed. So it'd just be like, it'd just be me pushing doors open as I leave. Wow, that's not that bad.  So the whole bathroom became a shitting center.     He ended up giving a girl a tour of his room. And I forgot that and the end of the tour was the bathroom and he forgot.  She's gone in.   And it was too late, she's open the door and she's just like gone. I think we've said this in a previous podcast. I've not heard this before.  I was like, oh yeah, sorry, my mate's real sick.  It sounds like he's not sick physically.  Like yes, oh I'm not feeling well so I'm not going to sit on the toilet anymore. I'm going to stand at the door and spread my cheeks and fire it in. Yeah, yeah. And then she's like, well we're going.  I would cut the girl off once I saw that. It's like, I'm going, that's it. She's like, no, we can go back to mine.  And then I wake up in the morning and I just hear this giggling and laughing. And of course, guess what? Get what? I've pissed the bed. Her bed.  Just, they're trying to keep that time before the punishment for that awkward stage. Oh man, yeah. For that like, you've got to confront what you've done. I would be so bad. Like, I would, as soon as I realized that, I wouldn't ever be able to relax. Dude, yeah, yeah. So I'm there and I'm just hearing these giggles. I'm like, what are you doing?  It's so, and I'm just like trying to pretend it's a dream but it's not. Fuck, I'm stuck there. So then I just have to get up and then I went to the toilet and had a piss. Came back out. I was like, yes, sorry, I pissed the bed, walked out. They all laughed at me, was humiliating, so awkward, so embarrassing as I was saying before about pissing the bed. But being embarrassed, like, you push your embarrassment boundaries. So once you keep crossing it, if you keep crossing into embarrassment, it's like conditioning yourself. Next time you won't be embarrassed by something so easily and then you just push the boundaries to an embarrassment circle that it's like, you're immune. Same with this guy who was asking me before, like, I've got the same problem. I was like, dude, it gets better because you pissing your pants becomes cool eventually if you can own it. It's also cool if like, yeah, like, if you could manage your drinking in a way that you wouldn't piss your bed as well. Yeah, yeah, try and fix that up too. Because Henry doesn't do it really anymore. Yeah, dude, he stopped, but yeah, I kept it going. I tried it, yeah, I had it. I wanted to start a trend. Yeah, and I had a trend going.  And we'll share it on our main Marty and Michael Instagram account.  Send a pic and we'll put it on our, we'll put it on the story.  Even a video, but just don't show your dick, obviously, because of censorship.   Look, look, we can manufacture a mattress that is resistant to urine. Look, we could do that. One bed, something you should look into. And, you know, we've got the science to do it because we've pissed on many things that are resistant to piss. Dude, and we said this before, when I travel with Marty through Europe and Asia, every hotel or hostel we walked into, he'd go as soon as we unlocked the door.   And also because it just sort of like, let everyone know, oh, the place is ruined, don't stress about mess. Let's just have a good time. That's what that says. And that's what I want written on my gravestone. Let's not stress about mess. C'mon, let's just have a good time. And then a photo of me going like this at the bottom. Oh, yeah, alright, dude, alright that. Holy fuck, can I make that work, please? Zack, Z-Raw99 has asked, do you have a name for that disgrace of a big toenail? Much love, fellas, keep up the great work.  It's disgusting. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, a name for it, maybe death or maybe like terminal. Maybe terminal? No, no, just the toe. The toe's name. Noah Jasek has asked questions for each of you. What did the alien man Ziggy from the MDMA realm tell your cunts when you traveled? And would you consider having sex with a paralyzed person in a wheelchair so that you could become more connected with Stephen Hawkins? I'll answer the first one first. No, I haven't seen a man named Ziggy, but we have seen some things on MDMA. MDMA is slightly a psychedelic. Well, if you do enough of it. Yeah, which, yeah, it probably is not a good thing to do, but don't, don't do it kids. But like, if you do it every now and then, maybe every two months, mate, maybe every three months. It's like, save it for special occasions. There's gotta be a reason to do it. Use drugs to enhance social situations, which is what alcohol is for. So just use, use them in that way.  So that's not what drugs are for, is for to enhance social situations. Yeah. Anyway, no, we haven't seen that dude, but we have seen many others. We've seen some gods. We've seen electricity. And would you consider having sex to the palace for some wheelchair? No, I wouldn't. I wouldn't because I don't think that that would make me closer to Steven. But like, Steven himself, probably. Cause like, how cool would it be?   Yeah, yeah. That's not what he's asking. He's saying, okay. I'm saying, I'm not saying I wouldn't, but like, I've got a girlfriend that I'm happy with. But if Stephen Hawking's came down from the heavens in through computers, which he is everywhere. Well, he's already, yeah. We could do that tonight if we want to. Basically. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's, yes, for knowledge. Alex Calls, AJQ 103 has said, do you arc and the do should or do you fork and the are for? Just got to know mate. T. See? Well, like that is highly that. Most of the audience won't understand that, but that is high, high grass. Well, you get it. You get what he's saying, but it's like, yeah. I wouldn't, I wouldn't word it like that. Like, I'd just. No, to a degree though, because it's, it's like algebra. Yeah, but it's algebra. It's like letters in maths. Yeah, but if you can. He's just done that with words. If you can, I want for. He's made numbers, words. Did you see that? Yeah, but like, if you can are what for, then why would you even do it to begin with? Do you know what I mean? It's like just do it to begin with in the base, in the base. And then you don't have to do the are what for. Fuck, but like, what's his name? That like quail. Quail. Let's call him quail. I don't want to scroll back and ruin this, but yeah.  I've got tingles. Yeah, yeah. That's multiple. Heavy duty. Sclerosis, MS, but yeah. Next question is from Sean underscore clunan. C L double triple O N A N. And he has asked, what are you proud of, but never have an excuse to talk about? We probably, we have spoken about it. Worms is pretty impressive. Yeah, yeah. We were number nine in the world at Worms Armageddon two.   But you need to train hard. No matter how big it is, you need to train hard to be in the top 10 of something in the world. Anything. It's hard.  You could go over the forms or you want at the end of the day. The mix is in the pudding. Louis Day Depelle, who is known as T O A E N G 15. Question for the podcast.  Ha ha, have a great day, mates. Stay safe. We won't die from Corona, but... I've already had it. No, if, yeah, you did. And it's a two-week thing, it's a flu. But how, like, if you're gonna die, we spoke about this the other day. Would you... I prefer to be nailed to a mountain. So the decomposing body doesn't smell out any residential areas, but I like to be nailed to a mountain cliff. No, but when we were scared, like my skeletons are overlooking cities. Do you see what I'm saying? Would you rather be cremated or buried? Nina, I want to be... Nailed to a mountain cliff. Over a city. Over a city. You know Rhea DeGeneres, how they have that Jesus statue, maybe to his chest.  Yeah, okay. All right, Matt, if you insist, yeah. Facing his face. Nailed me over Jesus's face.   That's the biggest part of my sculpture. And my dick's the biggest part of my sculpture. Your arms wrap around the back of it. Yeah, and then around me. So my arms are huge. Like really long. Like cremated or buried, what would you rather? I'm scared even if you're dead. Buried, I go buried. It's like some part of me wants to be a tree because you can cremate yourself and become a tree. Yeah, just be buried under a tree and then you feed it. Okay, I'll be buried too under a tree. Put it there, pal. Thank you, mate. It's great work. It's great work, there. Next question. Next question from Teraz, 21. Hey, Erregen Würmer. Two quests for the podcast. One question. Are you guys a for a trip to Rere begin? Two question, especially for Michael. We're here or not. Gruße aus Wien, Österreich. Oh, yes, I don't like oysters. I'm not a fan. No, no, no, no. So he's asked, are we going to Europe again soon?  Okay. And the second question. Are we here or not, Michael? Oh, like it could be a sweet. We are here, but we might be somewhere else. We might be everywhere. More than likely. Some sort of singularity.  More than likely. Fabian Zerati. Fabian dot Zerati underscore six. Six six. I was feeling his cock. Let me put on my story quickly. Quickly before he retrieves his hand, I said.  If I catch him doing that, guys, I'll post it in the story. So you should watch it. I love writing flirts like that. I just signed in, guys. I didn't do it before because what I enjoy most of the podcast and they are on Spotify. But yeah, you really need to be supported. Just three quick question. Is there a group on Facebook that you'll view with some content too? Yeah, our University of Michael Facebook group.  And if you join our Facebook group, we'll interact with you. We'll talk to you. It's seriously crazy.   So many of that. So yeah, go and join that group. How can I send you some ideas for the prank call and some questions for the podcast? What are you doing here right now? You're sending us ideas for pranks if you want and questions for the podcast. So this is how to do it. In the future, if I come back to Brazil, you guys go to New South Wales. Can we have a picture together? It really means a lot for me. I don't only follow the other boys. I'm just a fan of your work, guys. Yeah, of course, mate. If we see you out in a bell, we'll have a photo. Yeah, of course, mate.   It's a great time on a Wednesdays. Next segment has been renamed to... That's different. That's different. That is different, Matt. Matt, you are evolving with your shirt. You are evolving. And there's a segment where we... Come here. Come on, show them the shirt. Come on, Mattie.  Big, small, he's supposed to be shaking his head. A little bit blushing a little bit.   Oh, drunk. Yeah.  And for those who can't see, PO Box... Don't touch me.  PO Box 256 Tagum, 4018 Queensland, Australia. 4018 Queensland, Australia.  Show them! This is the box. Now, we were discussing before the podcast went live, we can see this package that we've received is from China, which is also where the latest virus is from. Apparently, exploded by media. So we're a little bit nervous to open it, but we will. I'm not. I'll open it, then. No. I'm not scared of no flu. I'm protecting you right now. You don't even know it. Okay, it's a whoopee cushion. All right, so someone... Imagine if Anne makes this in there. Yeah. Which was whoopee. Imagine if it was just full of cocaine.  All right.  Anyway, yeah, so it's a whoopee cushion. And a whoopee cushion is something that you fill with air. When you sit on it, you make fart noises.  Let's show the dogs fart noises. Okay, this is the situation. Might as a chick. I'm a dude. He's at a coffee shop. I'm coming down to sit next to her.  Let's see what happens. Very confused, but all right, I'm a girl. Hey, how you going? Oh! Yuck.  Cut that, Connor.  Oh! All right, that brings us to the end of our P1 boxing segment, which lets me to our new points. Mm, what's that? I smell stunt time. Okay, let's see what happens. Are you really going to do it this week? Yeah, I'll do it. You are brave. Okay.  Kids and men and girls and athletes. I'm scared of this one, but I'm going to super glue my hand with thumbtacks on it.  And I'm going to high five him. So the thumbtacks will thrust into my hand. Caused me to bleed and all sorts of damage. Do you hear about that guy who died on a skateboard carrying a bottle of beer and a pizza?  How did he do that dickhead?  That's pretty cool in a way.  I should save that for on this day. I will never ever die. Ever put a beer in my pocket as I said. Mark my words, we're going on the record right now. We will never ever, ever, ever die. Ever. And you can play this back at our funeral if we do because I guarantee it won't happen. And write it down. Write it down. Put a note in your pockets. On your jeans. We will not die. Matt? See? Really, Matt? Won't we? No, you'll live forever. Well, you will anyway, Michael. Hey, they're super gluing right now. I thought you were going to put it on your fingers. No, there's a bang on that. I can't believe.  Very brave of you. It's just a very quick one though, isn't it? But yeah, they're very long. Because you have slammed a tennis ball as hard as you can filled with these into my back. Yeah.   Yeah, it's an old video I kicked. I think you copped it in the knee and it instantly bled and then Marty copped it in the hand and had to go to hospital. A thousand thumbtacks on the soccer ball made it very heavy. It's like a steel ball, remember? It's like a shot put. Yeah, it was heavy. Spikes on it. Remember that? Do you remember it sat around the place that you lived and it was always like a hazard, but you couldn't get rid of it just in case you needed it? They got so rusty.  So we've just used old ones. All right, stunt time, I'm going to half of Mark and Mark who's got thumbtacks glued to his hand. There they are. Three, two, one. It's not too bad. There's a hole that's really not that painful. Yeah, I think you guys need to really, okay, really come together. Judging by Matt's reaction there, it's not enough pain.  High five, like you just won the Champions League or something. All right, go. Three, two, one. Oh, yeah, it went in. Yeah, it is blood. Yeah, it's not booze. Yeah, it's not booze. Yeah, it's not booze. Yeah, it's not booze. Yeah, it's not booze.  Yeah, it's not booze.  I'm bleeding. Are you guys happy now?  Oh, yay. Yay, he was in pain. Thank God. Fuck. You worry me. Time for the prank call two. Two. Time for the prank call two. Let's call Domino's and tell him.  What was it again? I can't even remember it. What was it? It was a whoopee cushion. Okay. Whoever sent that, thanks, but... Try again.  And she was the one I spoke to when I did the turning into a cat prank call. And she was like, really, I can't remember this. And she was pissing herself laughing. And yeah, she's sweet with it. So it's nice to know that all those people who are worried about the Domino's employee psychies, they're fine and they love it and it's hilarious. So let's call them. We're doing good. In saying that, do we want to pick a new Domino's to say hello to? That she's given us the green light, basically. What one was her? To stalk her. I don't even know what I'm gonna say. Yeah, just try and freak him out. Thank you. This prank call is called Language Barrier. Domino, thank you. This is Crystal. Hey, welcome. First of all, my name is Lion. I make a delivery order, please. And your name? My name is Finn. F-I-L-E. What would you like? I make three or four orders. First order is larger, Hawaiian. One Hawaiian, yeah. One Hawaiian on Classy. Classy bag. Yeah. And one Popoella. What was that one, sorry? One pepperoni. The pepperoni. Pepperoni, yeah. So everyone pepperoni. And I got a plankton. We're doing it on the side. So, okay, so again. A Hawaiian on Classy, a pepperoni on which bag? Well, a Hawaiian on a, look, look. Let's just see a thin. Let's put a thin on the plank, huh? A thin on which one? The pepperoni. There, there, the thin on the pepperoni. So we got a Hawaiian, right? And then we have a pepperoni on the plank. On the plank, on the thin plank. That's two. Yeah. And then we have a, look, let me make a five pizza, right? Got a five pizza total, yeah? You understand them? I'm gonna look at the pizza. Pizza number three. Let's, uh, veg, uh, first ron, the, uh, how you say, uh, the väser, I. Yeah, uh, the power, yeah. And, uh, the four pizza, say, uh, the haze, uh, they ga uma? Yeah, which one?  Yeah, yeah, yeah, the cheesy garlic. A piece of the fall. Yeah. So put a phone in and then if I give me a discount, I was a discount on five pieces. What is the discount for the five pieces? I know you guys, I know you got the discount, so don't play with me. Don't play with me around right now. I know you guys played the discount side. So are you actually for real? Are you actually wanting to order pieces? Because I'm really confused. Why do you say that to me like that? I'm just playing for us. I can't, I can't actually understand what you're saying. How are you? How are you?   I want him to move in. You need to be him when you're around me forever. I think that's me more me than anything else. That's, that's my, that's who I am and we are the best.


Hi everyone! I am back, and I am going to start releasing videos again. Not only that, but I'm gonna try to get one out every week for at least the next few months. Kind of. The videos you're used to, the 6-10 minute ones about some linguistics-y topic, those I'll be releasing every two weeks, but between those I'll be releasing a shorter video, like 2-4 minutes. These videos will be part of a new series I'm making called Edimo Semanticology, and you thought combining words was fun. Real linguists put words inside other words. Anyway, in each of these videos I'll look at the history and usage of a word, or phrase, or group of words, or phrases, or something like that. I'll be posting all of these videos on... actually, I can't decide which day of the week to post them on. How about you guys vote on it in the comments? You can rank them in order of preference, and I'll use an instant runoff system to decide. I'll wait three days from now for everyone to vote, and then the first video goes up on the next day of the day that you vote for. And don't just vote for Sunday, so you'll get the video sooner, you'll be stuck with this day for a while. Eh, let's see, anything else I want to talk about? Ooh! I made a new intro! Check it out! Oh my god, that thing I did with my name at the end. All your guys' awesome supportive comments are turning me into a narcissist. So yeah, I've spent this past semester learning a lot about linguistics and getting lots of ideas for videos, so 2015 is looking to be a big year for me. You guys want to come along for the ride?


Vsak sem zelo, da je vse vse izgleda v Italijskih vsev, in nekaj dobro v Italiji. Zelo si počekamo in počekamo, da se počekamo, da je to počekamo, da je to počekamo, da je to počekamo, And I found out there is another successful Italian migration project. And the protagonist of this history is Manuel. Manuel is a deaf person who worked in two Italian public institutions for deaf people in Rome. And he is an IT specialist and an eRd. infortunateli, je in Open Source softvore fan. Manuali je in izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda, Na 29. januče sem izgleda izgleda Prof. Spano, direktor iz istitutu, ki je več glasbeno, da je zelo izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda izgleda. healthy and security at work. My focus are on the impact of holiday perhaps social media in lifestyle. Manuel just decided to migrate the institute, but he needs help because he made it alone. So his colleagues don't really understand the meaning and importance of the reason to migrate. For this reason we decided to make an infographic about the most major 10 points reason to understand why we had to choose liberal office in this case. But the infographic was written in collaboration with deaf people because yesterday we talked about the different way of inclusion also people who has different needs or just not only needs but we can say different abilities, skills. In this case for deaf people we had to know for example that the way of learn is different from us because they have another type of mental process to understand the meaning of the words for example. For this reason we decided to not use acronyms because they don't really understand the meaning of the acronyms. We decided to don't use technical words or English expression that are really common immigration project we know. Because for them for Italian community of deaf that will be a problem of communication so they can understand the real meaning of the words. So we decided to make this infographic with them. First of all we decided with Sonya to play in a seminar to all the people who work in the institute to speak about the reason and importance of the immigration project and we asked for make them with an interpreter. So we make the seminar because we don't know the language of sign and we make the seminar with a person try to speak with them and try to make the communication more, as we can say, more easy, more friendly for them. Then we decided to make the training course. Not only for the employees but we decided to make a team of deaf trainers inside the institute so that could be more easy for them to collaborate together and to make strange relationships. All the materials that we have done for this project was made with the collaboration of the people who were working in the institute because we need, how we can say, this cultural translator. So we organized the training about the library office suite and then we decided to deliver to the participant a certificate of the trainer. About this I'd like to say for example that the way of learning of deaf people is different. For example, there are a lot of deaf people who are IT specialists but they have problem to pass the exam for the certificate. Why? Because the format of question are written not in, how we can say, friendly communication for them. They have problem with acronyms. They have problem with some specific and technical words that they can understand because negative expression, for example. Because their way of learning and their way of speaking is really different from us. And so for example, even if they are really good IT specialists, they can take the certificate in general. First goal, Manuel was not alone anymore. Now in the institute he has a team of trainer who can help him. And they can work together so they can make a team, a community about the importance and the development of the project. What we are planning more with them? We decided to write a guide, a long guide we can say. For trainers, for deaf people to try to communicate to the deaf community the correct way to make immigration, for example. Because in Italy we have a great community of deaf people. I don't know if you know the statistic about the deaf people. In Europe, for example, we have also cause to the problem at work. A lot of people who lose their way, their capability to understand. And so it would be a community that is not included, for example, in our project. So we can use the software, because for example they can understand a lot of things. So we decided to make with them a guide. Then we are going to translate, as Sonja says before, the illearning courses that was done with the Italian defense project, also in language for deaf people. Because also in Italian defense there are people who work and who is deaf. And then because as we were talking yesterday, for us inclusion is also something that can make a great community and the diversity is not something less but is something more. So we can work with diversity to make all our activities more important for our people. And for this reason we are also creating a contact between the Italian defense ministry and the public institute for deaf people in Rome to make other activities together. Because, for example, as Libertalia we play in a lot of meetings in the school, for example. And it would be interesting to make them together also for example school for deaf people and school for deaf children. But why we are pushing about this kind of activities? First because openness is not only about a project, is a cultural way of thinking, is a cultural way of life. And so for us inclusion is, as we can say, the first step because diversity is not only how we can say it is a needs or something to respect for the law. Because now yesterday we talked about gender diversity. There is a fashion mood in this last 10 years about the importance of gender diversity, balance the diversity of women and try to make more inclusion for people who different needs. And in a lot of countries it's made by the law. For us diversity is a value. And so true openness and true also the way of life of the community we can do it. We can do it in a way that is more friendly and we can say it's also more useful for other community. So it's a real right thing that we can realize, it is a practical thing, not only to speak. I like an expression, I usually says that I'm not talk a lot, we prefer to do. And this is the reason, for example, that's why we prefer to go into the school to speak with the children and to try to implement and to explain the importance of openness and of LibreOffice project, for example, in this way. I want to thank you all, you to list them, but also for all the volunteers who are working at the project and we would like to show you how we collaborate with the institute and how and what Manuel and Francesca and Dora have created for us and for this project because all the materials were done with them. I won't just make you a point that we asked to make a video about the history of the project from their point of view. The video we decided to make without audio.