Man. Hey. I get to follow Ray Lewis and Tim Story. How about that? Thank you guys. You guys have all been awesome. I hope you had an amazing day. It's only gonna get better tomorrow. What I'm gonna take a couple short minutes and talk about is a personal brand. And what I've been able to do in this industry using a personal brand, using video, using YouTube, using social media, spending advertising dollars, all those types of things. And these are things that insurance agents can use in your business every single day. And it applies to any business, but especially insurance agents. It really does. So what do I do though? Before I begin, I'm gonna need some help. Who's gonna help me real quick? All right. So what I'm gonna do, I mean we're talking about branding and marketing, right? So who saw me speaking at Insurance Newsnet Super Conference. We had a few. We had a few been able to make it nice. How cool is that? How cool is that? Okay, so what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna jump on our Secure Agent Mentor Facebook page. What I need from you guys, I need you to pull out your phone and go to Secure Agent Mentor on your phone, on Facebook, right now.   And I'm gonna introduce our following to all of you. Who's ready? All right. Do me a favor though. Stand up for me. Come on. Let's finish this day strong. Stand up for me. Thank you guys so much. All right. So I'm gonna go live. You're standing. Man, I need you to stomp. I need you to yell. I need you to spomp and oh get excited. I mean all of it. You guys ready? You gonna help me out? I love it. Man, this side is a little fuller. All right, but I'm gonna put you, I'm gonna put you guys in the video as well. So let's jump in. So on our Secure Agent Mentor, we're gonna do a quick live video. As soon as it starts, we'll jump in. I'll introduce you guys. Hey, I'm an 8% nation. You see the big LED wall behind me. And look at all of these amazing people. You guys are awesome. Thank you so much. Seriously. Appreciate it very much. While you're at it, shoot. Like the page. Share the video. Tag some friends. Tag me, whatever. Thank you guys so much. You can be seated. Thank you so much. Seriously. Give yourselves a hand. Thank you so much. I'm gonna go ahead and post it right now too. And if you want to have me on Facebook, Cody Askins, I am happy to answer anyone's questions anytime. I get a lot of marketing questions, sales questions, insurance questions. I'm gonna go over my background. Been in the business my entire life. You guys saw my father speak earlier, Brian Askins. My first year, I started in the business. My father started literally three months before I was born. I started to been in the business my whole life. I was 18 as an intern. I went to a little Baptist Bible College. What's up, Fern? Yeah, I went to a little Baptist Bible College. Played basketball. Got a little business management degree. And then about 19, I thought, you know what? I wonder if I can make this thing a career. I wonder if this is for me. Because, you know, I was never positive growing up that, hey, I know for sure I want to be in the insurance business. I didn't know for sure. You know, my dad was wildly successful. Incredible. I thought, I don't know if I can work as hard as him. I don't know if I can do as good. So, but I'm a goal setter. I do nothing without a target. I believe in setting high targets every step of the way. Because if we don't, we will fall short and we will not end up hitting that hard target. So what I did is my dad told me, hey, you're my son. I need you. I need you making Chairman's Council this year. There's like 50 agents in the country that made that probably out of a thousand, 2,000. I don't know. It's a lot of agents with the 4,500 company we were with. And so I went to my dad and said, you know what? Let's make this official. We wrote it down, maybe typed it out. And it was, hey, I, Cody Askins, will achieve Chairman's Council and earn over $100,000 this year. We both signed it. We both dated it. True or false? If we signed it, we dated it, hung up on the wall. And every day I went forward to achieve that goal.  I was obsessed. Grant Cardone's tomorrow. He talks about be obsessed or be average. I was obsessed. There's a little headshot of me that had to get when I won, when I won that trip. But along the way, along the way, I knew that what do most agents struggle with? What do most agents struggle with when they're brand new? Confidence, getting in front of people. That's exactly right. So I learned that really quick. And so, you know what?  I talked to, I talked to my father. I talked to other veteran agents, managers. I thought, you know what? If you break down the numbers, we've talked about numbers a little bit today. I'm a big numbers guy. Target, what do you got to do every day to get it? Right? So I said, you know what?  Set, see, sell. If I see 10 people every single week, if I ask 10 people to buy insurance every single week, I'll make 100 grand. It will happen. So that's what I set out to do. I didn't work leads. Believe it or not, I want to lead the company now. So it's like, you know what? You didn't work leads. I did in my first year, but I knew I had to get in front of people. I would have college kids over to the office every Monday night. We would do call nights for a couple hours. We would cold call. I'd give them all a script. We'd cold call a DNC approved list scrubbed in that local area. And we would set appointments. I would walk out. I would, I would give them, I would give them gift cards. I'd give them cash for per appointment. I'd buy pizza. And by the end of those nights, I would end up with 12 15 20 appointments for the whole week. You got to remember I'm 1920 years old in college playing basketball. I'm going to college in the morning. I'm going to practice in the afternoon. I'm going to games at night games on the weekends. So by doing that and by being consistent with something I'm gonna talk about a lot about being consistent. I was able to earn $117,391 and 13 cents in my first eight months, took the next four months off to a basketball. Probably shouldn't have could have been 150 or two, but spent a lot of money on on cars, got a chance to receive an award, got a chance to meet Magic Johnson as he spoke to us in California at the trip I won. And so that was my first year. That was my exposure and experience to the insurance business. Maybe I had a little advantage. I grew up in the business. My father's one of the smartest guys in the industry. Didn't hurt. But by being focused, having a target and seeing and that's still something I still preach. And there's a lot of veteran agents that will say, dude, only sitting down with 10 people every single week isn't a lot. And it's not enough. Well, 92% of insurance agents fell. So if they sat with 10 people every single week, there's no chance they fell zero chance. And if I mean, 10 is not a lot. But if 92% of agents are failing, then let's just see 10 on a weekly basis. There's consistency in that. And so there's the 1099 to prove it. I'm gonna show you guys something. It's not it's not a good video. But I'm doing it on purpose. I uploaded my first video on YouTube. I was an agent for several years. I uploaded my first video on YouTube, December 28 of 2015. I always knew I had a passion for helping agents. I always wanted to train. I wanted to help. With my first video on December 28, 2015, check this out real quick. I'm not gonna show much because again, it ain't good. Hi, my name is Cody Askins and welcome to the Cody Askins YouTube channel. Please subscribe below. Today we're gonna go over the six things that every new insurance agent needs to be successful. Alright, I've heard enough. You guys heard enough? Right? I mean, is that a different dude three years ago? Literally 34 months ago, awful video. The first 13 months, I didn't monetize something I'm gonna talk a lot about. Give value to your audience on a consistent basis. I didn't monetize for the first 13 months. I didn't have a website. I didn't have a Facebook page, which sounds nuts. I just started posting videos about my success. Hey, I made eight grand this week. And here's how you can too. And before you know it, people started connecting with what I was doing. I was very fortunate that people were receptive. So I started doing weekly live insurance training calls, started doing live videos, started posting content consistently. There's a few videos, some of the older ones. And before I knew it, I was getting agents sending me messages. Hey, can we buy leads from you? Hey, can you can can we sell with you? Can we you know, can you train me all that kind of stuff? And eventually, the companies and brands that I now run, and the team that we have are all because of the last three years, and everything that we've done online. And when I look back, it's been great, but I could have done so much better. So now 34 months later, we've got a studio with 20 team members spend over 25 grand a month advertising this brand SecureAgent Mentor just advertising that brand. We help over 1000 agents a month, and do over 100 grand a week in revenue, all because of the marketing that we do online, on YouTube, on Facebook, and some of the marketing tips that I'm going to share with you guys in second. Is it cool if I share that with you? But first, you guys saw me do a video. I want to see you do a video. Let's pull out your phones again. You don't have to be on Facebook. I want you to go to your video. I want to practice something. Help me out. Because there's a lot of people that are scared to get on video. Jake Lynn with Legacy Tales says that dude ain't afraid to get on video. We're going to do a we're going to do a little selfie video. You're going to be videoing yourself. And what we're going to do is we're going to do a we're going to do a little selfie video. You can be videoing yourself. And what we're going to do is we'll turn it horizontal so that everyone can see from a screen perspective. It shows a lot more landscape. Vertical does take up a lot more space on Facebook. So we change it up. But a lot of our videos are horizontal. What I want to do is I want to have a little fun with this. Okay. So what we're going to say is I'll actually show you first. And then I'll and then and then I'll do it with you. Okay. So we're going to do is Velcro.  Are you guys ready for that? Okay, let's do it. Alright, so what we'll do is watch your phone, put it on video, go horizontal, and then we'll do it all together. You guys good? We ready? You guys saw my first video. Come on. Help me out. Alright, we ready? I'll count it down. Three, two, one. Velcro.  Alright, now everybody's done a video. So you got that out here says you've never done before. You've done one now, right? If you want to post to Facebook, you want to tag the conference 8% nation, you want to hashtag your nation even better. I want to give you a few personal branding tips. The big thing with marketing online nowadays is you've got to get attention. Now, it's got to be authentic attention. Can't be fake. You can't be fake. People will see through it. They can tell. Money follows attention. Consistent caring content is what gets keeps people's attention. And when you focus on value, money will come. So the first 13 months of security was really cool. The first 13 months of security mentor, I didn't ask anyone to buy anything. What I did is I consistently posted content online. And my whole thought was what problems can I solve for that person? And when you do that enough, and you focus on solving people's problems enough, and you do it consistently enough, and you actually care about the subject you're talking about. Guess what? Some people love you.  Fantastic. The end of the day, though, you're getting attention, you're building an audience, and you're providing value and helping other people along the way. I've been fortunate to be able to help a few agents along the way.   As Grant Cardinal say tomorrow, come on, man, get attention, provide value, be consistent. But when you do it, focus on solving a problem. So think about what you're doing before you do it.  I saw somebody else do that. I'm like, you know what, that's funny, I'll do it. But when we did that, we did the video. Before you do it, it's better to do than not do anything, right? Same thing with the insurance business, it's better to take action and put yourself out there and try before you know everything, who cares, you'll stumble along the way, you'll eventually get good at something. But before, before you post content, you've got to be thinking, hey, what's the problem that this person is addressing? Think about an individual, think about a new insurance agent. What problems are they facing? And how can I, through video and social media, help them solve that problem? Don't, don't get pitchy, don't get selzy, don't say, hey, I've got the best problem in the world. Sounds cheesy. And you should give me $1,000 a month for it, you know, focus on solving a problem, get attention, provide value and be consistent. It's that simple. The part that I struggle with the most with this was being consistent. It's one thing to post in social media, it's one thing to do a video. One week, you say, hey, I'm a lot of people, who's been guilty of this, where you're like, hey, I'm going to do, okay, we'll use working out, because that's an easy one to use. You say, hey, I'm going to work out every week, all year, and we didn't.  Somebody's raising somebody else's hand, I love that. The consistency parts the big key. If you're thinking about solving a problem, if you're focused on providing value, you'll get attention. But if you're not consistent with it, who cares? You'll be like every other person doing something, which is why we do three plus live shows every week, focus on helping agents, which is why I do a live Q&A every Sunday night, which is why we post a dozen videos a week. And that sounds like a lot. It's a lot. But I've got to where it's consistent. And it's, it's paying off. My dad took this picture at, I think it was Kessler in, I think DC, and he sent it to us and I'm like, all right, I'm still in that. I love that. Can you guys say this? I want you to say this with me though. You ready? Set goals so high they laugh, crush them while they watch. Is that good? Or is that good? Is that good? Or is that good? I love that. Joey Yak, welcome to Nashville, brother. You guys want to see him tomorrow. I'm telling you what. Hey, did anybody see the real quick everybody see the April Nation rap, the theme song that we did online and posted it everywhere? Joey Yak did that and it was incredible. It was really good. We need to use it again. Set goals so high they laugh, crush them while they watch. The big thing is we talked about targets. We talked about focus. What's your mission? What's your dream? Why? My father talked about that this morning. Hey, there's days you don't feel like it. There's days I don't feel like it. But when I don't, what am I going to do? My why? Call me, call me crazy. There's plenty of people have. I want to help every insurance agent in the world at some point in the future. It's it's probably impossible. But that's what I wake up and write down every single morning. I'm big on goals. I write down goals every single day. Immediate goals. The next year goal, a long term goal. Goals keep you focused. But what's really cool about goals and goal setting, when you set a high target, when you write it down daily, and you don't give up on it, it forces you to work harder. It forces you to be more creative. And you end up doing way more than you thought. If I would have said, Hey, we're gonna have almost 1100 people sign up for a conference in Nashville, four and a half months ago. I didn't even believe it. But we're doing it now. Because what? We set a high target. I wrote it down every day. And we never gave up on it. Because what happens is most people, we can set a high target. Hey, I'm gonna do this. Great. We write it down a few days, then we then we give up. But what happens is, say your goals to make, you know, $2,000 a week. And then the week you don't, what happens? What do we do next? We lower it. Why? We can do something different. We can be more creative. We can push a little harder. We can grind a little harder. Do not do not lower your goal. Because you're psychologically telling yourself, apparently, I can't do it. These are the goals I wrote down June 6 of 2018. You can see the third one. This is real 1000 plus person conference in October of 2018. This is a this is straight from my little goal book. I won't call it a diary because I don't write anything in it, but I do write my goals down. And so I show that as an authentic way of saying, hey, goals work. It forced us to be more creative. It forced us to have people like Ray Lewis, Tim Story, Grant Cardone, Nissan Stadium involved, because I wrote the goal first. Do you catch that? I wrote the goal first and figured out the rest later. Who follows us on either YouTube or Facebook? Nice. We came up with the conference. I think it was like May 30th, I believe. It's June 6th. June 6th. We came out and I kind of teased a little on YouTube say, hey, I got something big going on. I'll let everybody know in the next day or so. And then we end up releasing it to the world. No clue when the dates are going to be. Who cares?  Nissan Stadium, you know, I don't know where the venue is going to be. Luckily, the Titans are on a buy this week. I set the date before I even booked the venue. I didn't know who was going to speak. Vince was the first one we got on board. And the early days, it was me and Vince going to be in this thing. Hey, it's still been a heck of a conference. So before I jump off, who wants a few things for free? What I want to do is I want to give you for being here. I got two things I'm going to share with you real quick and then I'm done. You guys are awesome. Thank you for being here. This has been incredible. I want to give you a few gifts for free copy of this PowerPoint. My 12 step lead process an agent. You're struggling with leads. This process will fix that appointment setting script, the one I use personally and a surprise marketing gift that we're going to end up sending out links out later. Who's cool with me giving this to you guys? Is that all right? I'm going to need a little favor though. You guys have been super helpful so far. I need you to help me just a little more. I need you to pull out your phones and I need you to text branding to 555-888. You want some free stuff? All those things we talked about. Text branding to 555-888. And I appreciate you guys cooperating and helping me. Really means a lot. Paula Meany was one of the first few speakers too, man. I didn't forget about you. All right, we go ahead. You guys do text branding. So all you do is pull out your phone 555-888 and in the text, the actual message portion. You just type branding and then you can send it. But I also want to do something else. You're going to get a link from this text. You're going to get a link from this text and I want to be able to hook you up with the official recording of the entire event, a ticket to next year, and a personal strategy session with me. There's a little more information on the actual landing, the website landing page. Once you click the link in the text message, after you do what? After you text branding to 555-888. So there's more information on the next page. What I really want to do is I would love to do a personal strategy session with all of you. Next couple of months, I probably won't be throwing a conference. So maybe I'll have a little more time still be doing this for four and a half months. It feels so I want to I want to give you the recording. I want to give you a ticket to next year because you know we're going to do it again. Right? But I can't write down the same goal next time. Can I? It's always got to be bigger. It's always got to be better. We always got to strive for more and we can always get more. I want to hook you up with this but to be able to get to that for all four for those I'm going to give you four free gifts no matter what. For these three items on the landing page, it's $197. If you want to do it great. If you want the recording, if you want to take it to next year and a personal strategy session with me for an hour and I can help answer some questions. We can talk about leads. We can talk about marketing. We can talk about getting in front of people.  If you want if you want those things from the page, great. If not, great. Thanks for being here. So text branding to 555-888 and then click the link in the text message. You guys are awesome. It's been a lot of fun and it's only going to get better from here. Tomorrow is going to be ridiculous. Trust me, you do not want to miss that. Thank you guys for having an incredible day one. I'm going to bring John Pets up for a quick second. Alright, thank you Cody.


Hello. Welcome to Traffy TV's right here today. Er is the Premier League season, it does receive, I believe it or not. And we thought we'd have a chat about how the season has gone so far in the hope that it almost buries the ghosts of it and it's almost like a reset and we start a fresh unbox and that's what I'm hoping for. It's almost like a... Put it to bed. Put it to bed and it's part two and three of the season still to come, the best, the best bit of the season. And then there's part three come. Hopefully part three come during about March and we'll see if we can just chill. Er it does, it is back. We've just had the Whale Cut which was obviously a tremendous football tournament ended in the correct manner with and Lionel Messi winning the Whale Cut which was great. How do you want Brazil to win it? I did but it's the way it's finished with Messi. I did say Brazil or Messi to win it out that you know. And now we're into the stage where it's back to worrying about everything. Hopefully with a bit less worry but... Do you feel a bit refreshed that we had that break? I feel massively refreshed but I don't feel any more confident about everything. I feel massively refreshed that having no football was fantastic. I mean that in the purest sense just having not to worry about something for a few weeks and trying to recharge the batteries and hope that when Monday does come round there is that little bit of optimism and that you know. Because it has felt like never ending and it wasn't like a pre-season was it? It was like a proper distraction the Whale Cut. Everything stopped, there was nothing. There was no real links, no real talk. You didn't have to fill the space with something because there was nothing else to talk about. It was a full on distraction and I really enjoyed that. Do you think because of the way the trauma of last season because it was traumatic wasn't it? We had a laugh few months. I don't think neither of us slept very well at all. We've had a trauma in building up to that obviously the Palace Game and we got the outcome we wanted and all that and it should... It was a great outcome of a shocking situation and frankly I haven't should never have been in. The pre-season was short there. The Whale Cut was a distraction for a lot of things. All of a sudden it was back on us quicker than it was and it hasn't gone the way we'd hoped. Do you think that everyone's feeling as bad because it's just felt almost like the two seasons have bled in someone? So it's even though we ended up staying up it still feels like those feelings of warrior comes back in that area. Of course I think one of the issues was that I've not getting off to a great start and then going on a little bit of an unbeaten run and feeling like we were sort of tain in a corner and we were getting things in the right place to just be a solid team that was functional, we weren't going to rip anything up. We were just going to be a functional team and I think to see that a road in the final weeks and to lose Man United and Leicester and the two games of Bournemouth and obviously there was a door in there full. It just brought it all back that maybe we haven't seen in the corner and all the problems are still there. Ultimately the number one problem is we can't score goals and it's the real worry and it's the real issue and you can throw all the numbers you want and you can say Everton are only this many points away from being in the top half of the table or whatever else. Ultimately if you can't score goals in any sport how are you going to pick up points? That's the problem Everton have got and Everton have got to solve that problem not in the summer, not in this dillidallion and saying well get that done well let this play going so that out. This has to be addressed now. It can't be overstated how hugely important this has become with everything going on at the football club, with the stadium, with the money that now surrounds football. It's ridiculous how many different people's careers are dependent on the next few months and getting it right. So obviously the summer, the charl is not to go for whatever reason. I've gone over all glam but the mistake was made when five games came and it went without putting any goals as we put all of our eggs in one basket with Don with me and it's come back massively better hasn't it really. When you look back to the summer, when you look back to transfer deadline and what we brought in and what we thought or where we thought we were improving and of course we were all a little bit more excited than we should have been about what we brought in which sometimes you are. You just want to hope for the best aren't you? I think in retrospect I just don't think it was good enough. The plan to me, the way we want to play is very evident now. It's defending deep, allowing teams almost to come onto us and then getting the blocks and getting Jordan Pickford. We've sacrificed quite a few things but that's because of the plays we brought in and they've been brought in for a reason and I think defensively the numbers it is that eye test, it is weird where you look at it and go we're doing all right and you look at the numbers and you're just like we're not doing all right. We're actually bumbling along and I think what happened in the last few weeks is that it all comes up with us. It really did. You go back to the self-hanting game and you watch that and it's one where you go and we've won two-one but for half an hour we got battered and in isolation that's fine but when you start pulling away from the one game and going this is happening more and more and you can't get away from those numbers you can't get away from the trends. They always catch up with you. Now we're getting more evidence of this. The trends catch up with you. We often speak to Andy and he'll just say that's great but look at the numbers that will catch up with you and you dismiss it and they do and I think I just can't I honestly can't look past the two attacking sands we made and without being, because I've said this a million times and without being disrespectful to those two players as human beings we bought a kid who couldn't score goals for the team who was relegated and I can't get away from it. I just can't and people might not want to wear it or people might want to say the kids got time to grow. As a football club we thought it was a good idea to bring a kid in who was relegated and didn't score goals for a team that couldn't score goals and that's a major massive valamble and the other person we brought in in Mopai is a player that Brighton couldn't wait to get rid of because he couldn't score goals and we brought him in to score goals he is nothing like the fella he has to replace on a daily basis on a weekly basis sorry and those two things are listen I'm not sitting here saying we should sack Kevin Fellwell or Frank Llanport or anyone but those two signings were massive, massive, there was a rush of blood day somewhere somebody made the decision that it's dead easy to say in hindsight I will say that because in the midst of the summer when there was a panic I think when the Charleston went and where was the money going to come from there was a panic and maybe people were offered and they were offered the right prices or the right price up front and by the way that's not it that should never be users excuse I've heard that we've paid nothing for McNeill up front no we will have to pay it you buy a telly and you pay it in instalments you're still going to have to pay the full price for that telly and I just think they got that massively wrong and that's nothing personal that's nothing about those two footballers to me they're just this is a symptom of where we are and it's been happening for way before Frank Llanport and way before Kevin Fellwell, Evan have got this horrendous trend of buying footballers who can't score goals when the number one thing is to score goals and what we've done in the last couple of years is cut the goals out of the team sometimes it was forced on us sometimes people wanted to move sometimes it was bad decisions, sometimes it was other things but we continually buy plays you can't score goals and until that trend changes we're going to find ourselves where we are because teams that can't score goals finish near the bottom it's not rocket science there's some, there is definitely we sat here and we all wanted another striker on deadline day a strong and powerful striker he could have replaced Don in a pattern, I think with Neil Maupai Evan just don't play probably the way that he needs really and that's just the way it is, him in a one it's very difficult in the Premier League it's size, he's not lightening so he can't even get them over the top, I think with Neil I've said it before as a squad player fine was it really what we needed, well goal wise no not especially when your other two wingers aren't prolific goalscores either and you centre forwards isn't you so whatever now I have to do is come up with some solutions somehow in this next month of how we're going to get goals and we have to come up with it we've got Tom Cannon, we've just let Salomon Rondon go fine no issue with that the man that decided in September he wasn't good enough for what we needed and he's not really being part of any squad recently anyway so we've gone, fair play to him as well for going and wanting to go and play for us and everything you can look at that and go well maybe they've got someone lined up and they've been happy to let him go out, let's hope that that's what it is it's done but that's what we have to do, we've also got Tom Cannon in the squad at the moment but on the ladder score in every game he's playing so you've got to give him a bit of credit for that that's all he can do but we're going to put too much pressure on him so we have to be ready once this window opens to jump and that's the big thing cos you've just said over the last two or three years we've just gone goals, goals out the door, out the door, out the door and you end up in one place like you said what do we do with Tom Cannon because ultimately this is a kid who again if you go and look at the numbers and go and look at who he is and what he's doing he's knowing the level of the Premier League but he's banking goals in the under 21s now he's got a massive, that is a big goal but for me I would plan both ways I would get him in the, cos he's clearly I don't know if he's going to be available for boxing then I just don't know if he's going to be available so that leaves Mo Pai and obviously Tom Cannon was involved in the last two games at Bournemouth so obviously he's in and around so do we plan both ways and say right Wolves game you're involved, Man City game you're involved Brighting it involved, Man City United you're involved and then maybe we start I mean by the way this is not, you don't do this and go we'll wait to see who we bring in for me I think you have on him involved and you do try and get him on the pitch if you can and you just see where they're again I go back on what I said before almost on the data there are moments where football is young football is just do something where it could last for a month, it could last for two months, it could be just one of those things where someone just explodes on the scene and as quickly as they arrive they leave and they're never out of again it's something that's happened all the way through football but if you can take advantage of that moment if you can take advantage of that youthful exuberance, that lack of knowledge on the player on the behalf of other clubs I think that's something we're taking advantage of that haven't happened maybe in years gone by and I think in the last few years sorry which is something I think maybe 20, 30 maybe years, well certainly 20 through the beginning of 2000 I think we did take advantage of this with the likes of Michael Bore with the likes of Richard Dunn, with the likes of Danny Cardamarty for any jeffers You're from Moesgifth next year I'll go for about six weeks and he was involved he had a little go and it might be something that they just they bane out quickly but if you can get something out of them that isn't already in the team I think this is something that's gone mission out of the game with all the data and with the way we use it with the way football is done now with the high stakes it's often times players just don't get an opportunity to go out there we said it last season you know around the time of when we got beat by Brentford the way and we had the likes of Simms on the bench and and it was the case of just you know what there's five minutes left and you've got a sub what harm will it do you go on the old barn and I think for me that's where I'd be listen I'm not one of these people who says you know when else Simms gets sent on what are you doing that for or what are you doing that for I think they know the level of these players a lot better than the average person but I do think just over Christmas before that window opens and before we settle on maybe send them on loan you know people like Sheffield Wednesday have been linked to them I think you do try and get a little bit out of them because you just said there Rondon's gone there's an opportunity for a third church striker and so these second church striker if Dominic Averloon is involved in boxing I mean we all we all pray is but if he's not then there's an opportunity to give a young man a chance just to just to see if he can grab hold or something. Later don't know if it's Christchennie or some of it. They don't know if it's Sam Goodall. Now those three players might make it at the top end of the pitch in the Premier League and Tom Cannon mightn't but we won't now and just right now we haven't got any other options have we we've got Neil Maupai and we've got Dominic Averloon Maupai fit for certainly for the Walls game. Tom Cannon's in the best form of the three of them for the simple reason that the lads playing and scoring goals you know he's just played last week against men in the Pappard Jones or whatever it was scored again and he's confident there. I mean his goal last week he took it from the edge of the box and just bent it over the goalie it's like he could have ran on to it with the goalkeeper you know we said that Tom Davis missed an absolute shith of a bone within the cup or at one whatever it was at 0-0 or 1-0 you know if Tom Cannon had that chance on to his score so he may well be good enough he may not be good enough. We don't know but sometimes there's an opportunity to throw a lad on. Have a man been involved and like you said it might last four six weeks the ball might drop to him two or three times in a box in that time and he just put it in the net and it's like here we go I think everyone want to get him on loan there's clubs sniffing around he needs to go on loan and carry on his development but while we haven't got a replacement right now and we haven't got an option he's a big lad you know he looks around six foot so therefore you know physically he's probably stronger than what Malpah is just Malpah is physique not saying he's better than Neil Malpah Neil Malpah has done it in the Premier League and done it in the championship but it just gives him an opportunity. Do we want to be relying on a 19 year old unproven centre forward now? Of course we don't but right now needs must needs must and I think probably the biggest excuse me the biggest compliment you can give to him is ever not being prepared to say to Rondon yeah you can go now rather than just hang on for two weeks in that transfer window while we try and get someone in even if I've gone now you can go cos we've got some cannon here and hopefully the lad will grab the opportunity you know if Dom's there or there about fitness wise I'd be playing him against wolves for an hour trying to get 65 minutes out of him and then it'd be probably cannon and Malpah maybe that come on because Bob wouldn't be taking Dom to Man City if that's a game where if you're trying to manage him City away is probably a game you'd expect ever isn't that no it's terrible it's a terrible way to look at it but what I'm saying is if you're talking about managing just until a window's open we should be in a situation we don't have to manage our players where you shouldn't have to be terrified about that lad playing a few games but right now we're all going you're talking about being worried about the footballer doing his job and now we're not be looking at it in a window going we've got two games in a week three games in a week two of them are at home and the home to wolves and the home to Brighton there's more chance of us getting points out of those two than this one here which is Man City away and yet certainly give the lad a go until he until we can get someone in and then you can worry about his career and go right let's get you on loan playing every weekend score and goals for the championship club or whatever or a league mon club and that will know them from his developments as he really got it but he could come in and score a couple of valuable goals for everything in the next in the next two or three weeks but that's where we are if you just look where the league for the record so far there we go 15 games and three which is shocking five draws and seven defeats with a minus six goal difference and the thing about that the minus six goal difference is they've let 17 goals in the 15 games which isn't terrible it's not great it's not terrible but because we can't score goals that's why the way we are you know three of those 11 goals we score we're in one game and that tells you everything that you need to know really you know I think the last three league games we haven't scored a goal in you know and that and that is where we're up to and evidence focus can't be anywhere else other than in the final the final third. Do you think go as well I mean it's goals we know we need goals and we know we have to buy goals you think as well I mean I think Frank Lampard has got to get this midfield sorted as well because it's a strange one it's this you know Wobie's in the best form he's ever been in there everton um I don't think Garnet again is getting played right don't know if he's ever been played right at Everton just we watch him in the world cup he's just a completely different player he's more dynamic he's more on the front foot he's more pressing forward he's more around the box we once again like we did the first time we had him play him as a six when he's not a six but if you play him the way we did against Palastau where Awnana is next to him this is what it's going to say then we have to there is I understand what Frank Lampard has been trying to do with Awnana almost projecting him as a number eight number ten because of the height because of what he gives you but then we have to sort of come away from that and say if we want to move the team forward and not just put you know band aids over issues that we have to put him as the six let him become a six properly with uh Garnet next to him but also Garnet then have a more license to press knowing that he's got Awnana behind him Awnana will still make mistakes but I'd rather he made mistakes in a position which is going to be his long term position than making him making mistakes in a in a position where you look at him and go you don't really know how to play in that position because I watch Awnana seeing him in the ballmeth game doesn't know how to play in that position does not strike me as a fellow who knows how to play in that position he's your number six it's quite comfortable in that position does he have a tendency to uh over indulge on the ball and and then sometimes yes but I think what we're seeing is we will see the edges um be you know be taken off smoothed off but what I don't want to see is new edges put into his game by playing in these different positions on it but I just think when you look at it from an actual blueprint for the team now the palace one was the club exactly yeah and it was a case of he was able to drop deep and take the ball and then we seen his passing range where I think when we saw him against Leicester and against Bournemouth he was higher up the pitch he was out the game yeah he was out the game and and we were getting people running on to us and then Garn has got two men and he decided or he's getting caught on the ball and I think it also knocked a woby off his stride a bit of woby was better just roaming against palace and really so I hope the man and he goes back and goes look this worked really well against Christopher Palace when we had you two just sat there just sit there let a woby have it let the full backs because obviously Patterson is back now as well which is a big thing for us Patterson ride up and down and let's do it that way and see where we go from. Listen football managers will always have reason for something they don't just do something often you know they will have they would have moved on on it into a different position to to stop the threat or something else but like you just said there certainly home that's the best performance we have and palace was easy our best performance do that again do that every week and see what the results are and then get a then at least get a body of evidence to say this does work or this doesn't work I think changing it every week and it does come down to the personnel and and who you've got available and it does it does help if you have got you know you have got your your number one right back playing and you've got you know your number one your number your wide men and they're in form and you've got your number one centre forward all it all it's all it's all pieces of a puzzle that you just don't want to keep removing one at a time and I understand that it's difficult it's not a great squad it's not a very big squad it's been decimated at times you know hopefully now we've got players coming back that can add something I mean oddly we could have five centre backs you know when we playing man city couldn't we although probably I mean I've got injured by them but you know hopefully we'll have you know a full squad for that however long that lasts but I said you can't look past the fact that January not only do we need players but I think the fans like last year with the full backs it's a case of if you want to take the fans with you again like we did at the end of the season you're gonna have to if you want to stop it from turning to anger you know I personally think everyone fans have been very very very patient and accommodating with what happened from the back end of last season I know people might disagree on that but I think they massively have I think for the most part Frank Lampard still has you know the good with the good will and the good grace of a fan base who are willing to give them an opportunity but but the problem with everything is it's not nothing ever comes in isolation it's a package people will easily look at Kevin Felwell or look at the board and go how can you sit there as a manager and allow this to happen why aren't you they never will but why aren't you coming out and saying that these people aren't helping you or whatever and Frank Lampard has sort of hinted at that in the in the in the in the summit as we come into the season he basically said I'm not happy that I haven't got a sense of forward yet he didn't point the finger at anyone but he did say it and what tends to happen is that is when as football fans we demand honesty you're never gonna get it does well does work like that so we will turn them on the manager and say why aren't you having a go with him he's the fella stopping you from buying people and stopping this team because the culture is that you'll get the sack so why aren't you turning on that fella and I know that's not a realistic thing that ever happens in football yeah both fans will turn man and go this fella just looking after himself isn't he and that's that's the nature of football the nature of football fans in his time age and maybe always but so January huge it's absolutely huge now huge for a lot of people at the football yeah it is yeah well you've got to do it you've got to at the end of the day you've got to go and make these signs and we should have you know my belief is you should have one bloody to go really should be should be revealed on christmas eve really see you say that as a flip remark but the point being is that the momentum the momentum the momentum the walking into the game on boxing day knowing that you've already got a sign coming in for the new year changes changes out things don't get me wrong it isn't as easy to do but if there's a possibility then I think that will be a great way to really to flick the thing and go look where you are moving like you just people want to stay with it and you should want to stay with the project even though there is people who are rightly rightly sit there and go well hang on one three games in 15 why aren't you you're angry we are a bit angry but we're also aware of where we are but I think the club could get the momentum going I'm always angry the club could get the momentum going by going look this is happening and that's happening and we've seen it before we've done it a year ago with Michel Enco we knew that deal was already done well let's hope that you can come up with something equally I mean for even if they can't do that it has to be ready to go ASAP because we can't be dragging through in three weeks you mentioned there's the top of the show we we you know waited for technically it was four games the fifth games leads you know yeah but we waited and we lost out and the manager was clearly unhappy with that he didn't say it but you know he mentioned he hinted he didn't point fingers but he you know he did he did you know give a little nod to the fact that he wasn't happy that four games into the season he didn't have a centre forward and then five games into the season or didn't have a backup have a backup at that time really so obviously clearly the door had he made his mind about wrong done so that wasn't it that wasn't it you know we knew that from the first couple of games when he's playing Anthony Gordon and Dwight McNeill a centre forward we knew that that was the signal so I I just think you we can't piss about now we can't mess about there's just too much at stake and I know there's a lot of people out there it goes only 15 games games gone and it'll be seeing that last season this team can't still be it all right season but but the after it's got to improve quickly and without goals it won't it won't just won't so well you can you can scrape by the next few games but you can't scrape by 20 games you can't you just can't so we've got to really we have got to be ready to go so fingers crossed coming into it let us know what you think in the comments section below is are you still are you terrified or are you still hoping and keeping you keeping your faith that Everton will get two or three people in in January and it'll be difficult because it's a difficult market to work in but we ain't got any goals in this side in this squad so it needs to be done very quickly and can't on cannon be a short term fix for Everton as in the next few weeks let us know what you think in the comments section below give the video thumbs up subscribe if you haven't already and if you want to become a toffee tv premier the link is in the description the qr code is on the screen see you later


Of course, thank you so much for being part of this morning conversation. This is Power Talk. Welcome. Very good morning to you. Hope that you're well. My name is Ram Magukko. It is a pleasure being with you on this fine Thursday morning. Remember, repeat of this show as again tonight and every Thursday at 10 p.m. Catch us live because we're streaming through our website. That's at www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254. That is www.kabc.co.ke4 slash y254. We are coming to your live from the broadcasting house here in Nairobi, Kenya. And of course, the hashtag as always is Power Talk Show at Ram Magukko, which is my handle, tag me. And the official station handle is at y254. Now today is all about matters concerning best friends. People call BFFs. Do best friends cause problems in relationships? Today we want to talk about that particular conversation. When best friends become a problem in your relationship, can best friends cause ruin your relationship? Have you seen people who have dated and ended up, you know, breaking up only to get with each other's best friends? Such scenarios are there. Today let's talk about this particular issue here because it affects mostly the youth. I don't know if the married also go through such things. If you're only married and you're tuning in and you're watching, tell us if at all it also affects you as a whole in your marriage. Does your partner's best friend affect your marriage? Is it possible? Today we are with the Queen Masi. She is the vice chairperson at Furraha Foundation Alumni Association. Karibusana Queen? You're well. Karibusana. You have a best friend? Of course. A male. Now we shall find out about that. And of course according to our posters, Anthony Njanga, who is a concerned psychologist, was supposed to join us. Of course we are expecting him to join us in a bit, but the show must go on. Aki Wasili, we shall be able to hear his voice as we continue with this morning conversation. But engage with us. The hashtag is Power Talk Show. Head over to our Facebook page and drop in your comments on our page. You will see our poster that is there on our page. Like the page, follow the page and drop in your comment on the comment section below and I shall sample your feedback a bit later on during this morning conversation. Now Power Talk starts now. Keep engaging with us. Start tweeting and start talking towards Queen. Have you ever been in a relationship where your best friend became an issue in your relationship? Technically, I cannot say yes because I have never been in a relationship where I get to fully involve my best friend because my perspective in terms of having a best friend is you are there to listen, you are there to understand. We can talk, we can have normal conversations. But now when I cross the bridge and start dating, it means there is a certain boundary. There is a certain boundary that I cannot allow you to overstep. Because my question is why would I be having a boyfriend and I am not able to share everything with his boyfriend? I would like to get this from a woman's perspective. And I know ladies are the ones who have issues of BFFs. Yes. Yes. You are your best female friend. Let's talk about ladies alone first.  Will you have a problem with that? Yes, I will have a very big problem with that. Because to begin with, before you met my best friend, it is me that you met. Let us put in that perspective. But you are calling your best friend Babe and at the same time you are calling your boyfriend Babe. So what is your priority? Priority is to my boyfriend. However, as ladies, we tend to have a certain perspective of she has to know everything. She has to... I have to tell her everything about my relationship. Which is? Which is at times... What do you mean? Which is okay at times, but not all the times. There are things that are in a relationship that your best friend should not be aware of. Mostly if these things are not bringing harm to you. If their plans of you guys want to grow to another level and you have future plans. But now, in another perspective, female friends are quite important. Best friends are quite important because at the end of the day we will be talking. If I am going through something, if I am going through assault, if I am experiencing domestic violence. I will tell my friend. But now, my best friend should not be a problem. In the way you have put it, for her to be so close to my man. Let me get it from you. Ladies, I will poke you to the dog. I will poke ladies today because you are the only lady today. But you are the only lady today. Let's start with the closeness. Your boyfriend wants to know who your best friends are. Would you allow that to happen? Yes, I will. Continue. Continue. I would allow. Because it's not like both of us are hiding things from each other. No my friends. Because at times I might not be available. I might not be around. You might not be able to reach me. But you have someone that you can ask. Now some ladies are not comfortable letting their boyfriends know who their female friends are. Because they feel, you know what, this is my best friend. Now that is insecurity problems. Not with a man, but with a lady. If I am so secure with this man, and I am so sure that this man cannot do anything. That I will not be proud of, even if when I am present. I will be having problems with that. So at the end of the day, it is to me, to my perspective. It is the insecurities that I have with myself. Probably because I have done that. Maybe I have. And if you find a person that has this issue, I cannot have my best friend so close to my boyfriend. Or I cannot expose my friends to my boyfriend. Because maybe I know I am also in a position whereby, if I go close to another person, to another... My friends, let's say boyfriend, I might be able to snatch him. Which you... He is the one maybe. I have used the word maybe. But it's a very wild world for women. If a woman has an issue with their best friend knowing who their boyfriend is, would you say that they need to work on their own self insecurities first? Yes. Work on your insecurities first. Then, who are these people that you introduce them to your boyfriend? Are they new or to not trust? The question is, they are your friends? Yes. You just don't introduce everyone... Why would they be your friends if you don't even trust them to be the friend of your boyfriend? That is why I am coming to that. In terms of why you are choosing these people in your life? Are they people that you can trust? Are they people that you can give an account of? At the end of the day, will you be comfortable with them being with your boyfriend? Or people that are close to you? Yes. So, at the end of the day, first work on your insecurities. Second, know the people that you introduce them to your close people, your boyfriend. Let's say your fiancé or such. But still, as much as you are having people, as much as you are introducing your best friends to your boyfriend, there has to be boundaries. Which sets you or your boyfriend? It is me that sets first. There is a level that you cannot go with my boyfriend. For example, we are dating and I have my best friend. I will not expect for my best friend to be calling you on a daily basis. What are you talking about? What? What? Where? How? No! What were you doing with him? I don't expect you to, because you are in town, or probably you are around where he works. Maybe if I have a place to work, you just want to pop into his office to do what? So, who sets these restrictions? You or your boyfriend? Okay, for me it will be me. Let me say I might be a protective kind of a person, and that is where I might set such things. But once in a while, you can pop up to each other and say hi, hi, that's all. Because at the end of the day, you met my boyfriend through me. I am trying to protect my relationship. And if you want to pop at my boyfriend's office, or you want to be calling him, will you be comfortable with me doing the same? All right, but I have realized that this particular problem mostly affects ladies. This issue of best friends. Do you agree? Yes. Tell me, so I have an issue with it, and not the men. Okay. Do you think that's true? That's a corner, but both of us will have issues. Who has more issues? Who is the victim in this case? The person who is the offender. The person who always ruins relationships between the females and the male. Which is the female. That I totally agree. And guilty of all charges. Because at the end of the day, we tend, as ladies, we tend to have that, as much as not all ladies, some ladies, we tend to have that aspect of what will people say. Okay? What will people, what a change, and who do we go to? It is to our friends. If you want to date Ram, I will, for example, I will, Ram would come and talk and air his views out, okay? And at the end of the day, I'll have to go talk to my friend. By the way, could you tell me 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6? Udaku. Udaku. I did not want to use that word. Udaku. I did it. However, I would like to get an opinion as to what my friend has to say about this guy. As much as at the end of the day, I know the decision fully lies on me. But I would still want to get that opinion from that one friend that I have. And in most cases you find, maybe because maybe your friend does not have, is not more intellectual or does not just take things the way they are and think about them. You find people losing friendships, losing marriages, sorry to say. But at the end of the day, what my friend is telling me might not be of positivity that I'm going to use to mend my relationship or even marriage. So yes, Udaku means usually better. I will come to you and talk to the ladies. But as I said earlier, Anthony in the jungle is with us. Karupsan Anthony. You're well. Good to see you to my brother. Thank you. You always look dapper. Looking sharp. Anthony in the jungle is a counseling psychologist to help us in this particular conversation. Can best friends ruin your relationship? You've heard what she has said. Maybe I can give you time to give in your opinion, remarks, even as you address the things that you've heard her say. So when it comes to best friends ruining relationships, by the way, I know clearly, when it comes to, if it is the man or the lady who has an issue. I agree. It's the ladies who have the most issues. But there are people who don't know. In that circle, the ladies, there are people who don't know. But when it comes to that, there are people who don't know what to do, or who don't know what to do. Try something new. Who may be this best friend who has an idea of what you're going to use to mend your relationship?  So best friends actually ruin relationships because most people are the ladies. They say the men have an issue, but the ladies are the ones who don't know. They say to their boyfriend, if you're the lady, hey, I've got this man, he looks dapper and all that. So it's time for me to introduce the best friend in which I want to say it is not advisable for you as a lady to introduce your man to your fellow best friends. As long as it is okay. Let me poke you there. I will poke the women, I'll poke the men. Why can't men stick to their own woman? You have your girlfriend's best friend. You have their number, and they text you and they say, hi, I wish you met me before my best friend. Why can't you reject such things? Why can't you report? Do men even report such things? They do not report such things. They receive photos from the best friend, who is a lady, your girlfriend's best friend, the photos, it could be of them, it could be suggestive, but you're quiet. You don't report such things. So men have a problem. When it comes to that, I think they don't know which direction they want in a relationship because you have to start the conversation from there. I understand your statement, but when it comes to such a man, maybe if you're watching in your such a man, you don't know the purpose of you being this girl. So why then should you be with your girlfriend and behind the scenes, the best friend, your girlfriend, your girlfriend, your best friend, your best friend, your girlfriend, and all that. If you're such a man, then you don't know what you want in a relationship. In the first place, why did you date this lady? If it is the best friend you want, then you're your girlfriend and they're your best friend. Choose. But your girlfriend doesn't know anything about you, and your best friend doesn't know anything about you. If you don't know what you want, before you get into this relationship with your girlfriend, before you're your best friend, you need to know what you want in a relationship. You need to know what you want, the qualities of a partner you want. Do women have this thing, the female version of a brocode? Yes. You have it? Yes. So you would not cross your best friend's fiancé or boyfriend. You would not go send them nudes, send them any texts? Those brocodes, they are there. Let me call them sister codes. They are there. Okay. However, a woman knows what she wants. Yes. The minute a man comes up to a woman and and then also it is us women that destroy what we have. Let me say that. Because at the end of the day, if I want to air out the negativities that this man has to my best friend and this best friend of mine has already seen that this is the type of man that I want. What is preventing her from sending nudes? Nothing. At the end of the day I will take that advantage of you're seeing a weakness in this man but you're not trying to find a way of mending this man. Let me come in and mend this man. This is where you find a lot of people say that oh, I don't know what happened but we were working and then when she came in things stopped working. Things did not stop working. You are the one who made things to stop working. Because at the end of the day it is you to protect your relationship. Yes. It is you to protect what you have initially. Yes. But still I have a question. As much as we are to blame for everything why would a man go and say broke your base and you're talking, you have a coffin, whatever and then you would want to discuss a lady why do you do that? Because at the end of the day it is for you to choose. Yes. Then it means if it is for a man to choose and men are representative of leaders we tend to look up to you guys so why would you go and discuss a woman in your brokered and then because men also have their own kamukunji they talk about women also. But you also get suggestions there. But as much as there is that kamukunji where men want to discuss I think as much as whatever you discuss about this lady what you need to specify or what you need to tell your brokered this is the lady I want this is the lady I have chosen to be with. Now Anthony let me get you there it is these groups that men are in that they discuss how many women they have slept with. It is in these same same groups that they discuss who you are and they even do something called distribution of labour full of labour let me use the right time Manisafi use your whiskey but I guess my circle of friends don't know such things they are such type of men they say Manisafi end the change like kamukunji is my best friend my goodness but let me tell you something there is a mindset that we should avoid what we suppose to tell the people is you need to know what you want first you need to know if it is a relationship you want with this lady or it is just having a one time thing and it's over you know if you are in that state where you have a brokered and you are like that is not the right thing to do actually whatever you do whatever you do whatever you do right now has a consequence you will see the consequence your generation to come and it's good that we also put this disclaimer a conversation like this I don't know if it happens among the married but I think among those who are dating and trying to get into marriage yes those who are in campus high school are to see mention high school high school and I like it but those who are in campus and also trying to get into marriage now let me get it from you a queen when a woman is interested in a man you said a woman always knows what she wants what would be your piece of advice to that lady who has a friend you are admiring your best friend's man because women do that you have been friends for a long time and then your best friend says today I want you to meet my man I love you how should such a woman do because not only are comfortable with it if you have because I know such things happen and if it has happened the first time and you have known it has happened keep off one because of the respect that you give you not even that man because of the respect that you give in your friend how long has your friendship been how long has it like 10 years maybe 5 maybe 1 but there is something that was putting the two of you together so you guys had your friendship keep off that man and if truly it is meant for the two of you to be together imagine there is only something that will come but do not push it keep by the way should you be happy when they break up and that is your best friend ok I will answer this in two ways one it is profit if they have broken up and you are seeing this man is genuine how have they broken up has this man found out just an absurd reason of breaking up with my friend because at the end of the day what is preventing you from doing the same to me let me come to you man to the man your word you are dating your woman and the day she introduces her best friend to you you say ok I like or I see what would you say to such a man that is a pervert mind straightforward you are being a pervert you do not know what you want so for women it is not perversion but for men it is perversion why the double standards both of them it is perversion you need to know what you want from a lady cannot waste a man's life and a man cannot waste a lady's life it goes two ways but you see I beg to differ at the end of the day there is something that might have attracted like this for example I get attracted to men with brains not just you are coming the way you are coming you might have money but I get attracted to brains I have gone out with my boyfriend and we are sitting in the talking but I know my man does not have that much of brains and in the midst of his friends I notice there is someone who has brains and brains that I can walk along with because at the end of the day even if you say women you should submit to men which brains am I submitting to so at the end of the day I feel if I get attracted to a certain thing I don't think it is perversion to me can I ask you a question Queen right now let's say for example maybe you are dating or not what is the first thing you look what is the first thing you think about when you want to get into a relationship the first thing I think about is it taking away from me or is it adding in my life do you look at the qualities or do you just go for anyone exactly when she is talking about the brains at the end of the day anyway I am listening to you guys talking when you are picking this guy when he is talking about the brains I am looking at this in this way before you start dating if it is a man before you start dating this lady before you start dating a man what do you look for the qualities I want you guys to even find out that we are trying to find out and engage with us from home let us know is it okay to be in love with your partner partner's best friend your partner's best friend yes is it okay to be in love with your partner's best friend well let's take a break we will be back in a bit after this I want us to find out we have talked about the women you like your partner's best friend you have talked about the men you like your partner's friend but still what about a scenario whereby best friends connect each other let's take a short break we will be back in a bit this is power talk and of course if you really want to be part of this particular conversation I would like to ask you to head over to our facebook page that is Y254 go to our page like the page and of course show support to this particular station for followers on facebook and scroll down you will see our photo there and of course drop in your comment on that particular picture drop in your comment that is at Y254 and of course I shall send you feedback a bit later on but let me just read one or two I am seeing Kim Lee, Disney and I say when they seem to be most sweeter than your bae you will be killed hmm so best friends become a problem in your relationship and when they seem to be sweeter than your bae you and I say this is quite hilarious thank you so much I am full of panic I am saying now go ninga thank you so much for tuning in let me just read one more comment on our page that is at Y254 hmm Zai people of names Zaiyo they can just trust a few a few manzee not all people are good some are sent just to destroy what was built some are there to drag you down and not to see you in any relationship I am calling you I am calling you alright Mr. Reza Nasema there is always a jealous friend period keep talking to us the hashtag is part of show at Ramaguko not Y254 channel let's continue with this particular conversation here in this particular show so ladies gentlemen we want to talk about that particular aspect of Liu liking your partner's best friend and then we move forward but first of all answer this one do you have any agreement towards the point that he said that if you end up liking your partner's friend then you are what was the term? perverted I still disagree because like the next question I am about to ask these things happen but the way you will handle that situation will determine your brains so is it okay to have feelings for your partner's best friend okay to me it's fine because it's normal Anthony but you said you mentioned perversion but how is it it is okay let me tell you something let me tell you what okay like like something like that it is a perverted mind why should you even be in that situation in the past it is okay to respect that friendship you guys have it is what matters by the way before we have been best friends then why should you let that best friend and respect the best friend respect the best friend okay yes it is okay to like your partner's best friend but what you should look at is respect your friendship with your best friend because the moment you start liking my partner which is okay that means women compromise my relationship alright let's move on still another example we have friends who are always interested in the gossip of other people's relationships and I try to talk to them I talk to them I talk to them I talk to them I share I talk to them I talk to them I talk to them they are those people who will want to find out if you are having a problem if you are having a fight how is it those nosy friends let's start from there because you are not okay I will just ask a simple question everyone and the viewers is it a must you tell your best friend everything that goes on in your relationship it is like and then because I have seen something because I start and dressing myself do I need the public to see me naked will I be comfortable with the public seeing me naked because they mean it to go open up and tell them as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy as much as they are nosy do you need to tell everything last week we went to Garden City oh by the way I have to go next weekend we are going for a getaway do I have to tell you everything will I get killed because I have not told you everything how will you even know I have not told you everything if I don't open my mouth at the end of the day it is me to choose what I want to tell you if I decide to hide certain information from you I will do that and couples and celebrities who put their private life private because at the end of the day it is not for the public to see the public will not come and sleep with you in the same house exactly Anthony I agree what she says there is freedom in privacy because we have also men who want to know about their fellow men's relationship about the women they are doing so what do you want to tell me there is freedom in privacy there is freedom in privacy one thing you need to know if you are dating and you are all over I am very excited I need to tell my friend we went this and that so what anyway let's move on we have best friends who want to advise you on your relationships kind of such people ruin ruin things and I will come and say ah how are you doing one day you are at home you are a man and laugh at the lady do you want me to copy and say babe why don't you pay me I will say I am fine I will ask you to take a photo shoot I will say you didn't like photos and now I do because just because they are friends advise them that you should be taking photos of those couple golds that's an example Anthony still on it there are positive and negative advices and you should choose what to consume if you are consuming you choose what to consume not every single detail you are consuming then taking it to your boyfriend or to your girlfriend choose what to consume if you want to take photos or post and all that choose what to consume there are two ways I would agree with him it's not a must because at the end of the day the two of you know each other so try and find out where is this where is this photo shoot where is this photo shoot exactly it is not her mind and be so keen on listening on what she tells you about the relationships that are happening around her friends so you will understand that she is not herself those ideas are not hers so at the end of the day you choose to consume what is necessary even if maybe there are those friends that really give good advices but you are not supposed to take all advices what about those who advise you that you know what my man gives me 5000 shillings for just my nails your man is taking you to some place tell your man that you don't want such a thing initially you used to be understanding but now you are realizing by the way it's happening to them why can't it happen to me so at the end of the day are you the one in control of that relationship because if you are choosing to take such information in will there be more cash than you are being given is it you in control of that relationship at the end of the day can you see it someone else controlling your life at the end of the day to your life I also want to say also when it comes to best friend you need to know who should be your friend and who should not be your friend as much as you want to know but your best friend will be your friend you will be able to call your best friend know the qualities in a friend that you want and qualify to call your best friend now there are some best friends who advise you not to date people to date they will say ah there is no approach ah there are many approaches ok ah there is a channel bad news ladies do that men do that when best friends ruin relationships I love you you find yourself with a channel but finally once you end up dating the same person the same person they told you not to people who advise you not to date not to date as particular individuals ladies talk about that before you first of all accept not to date this person you should get reasons for what reasons what are the reasons for have you been with this person have you ever had sitting down with this person how well do you know this person for some men they say when you invite someone to the club when they asked you to dance and you say no I'm advising you as a brother when I tell you to date you should get dating you should date It happens actually, but you need to know what you want and then from what I started with, know what you want. And if you know what you want, nobody will influence your decision. You will follow what you want. What should you do? And I know there is somebody watching from home who is going through this. I know somebody has gone through this. You advise, both of you, advise on this. You find that your current partner is in a compromising situation with your best friend. What do you do, Queen? Okay, compromising situation. Me as Queen, I will work out.  There is a reason why I did not go to your best friend first. But it has now reached a point where I'm getting the two of you in a compromising situation. It means priority is not me number one. So if I'm not your priority number one, why should I? Because I'm not in a compromising situation. You are not in a compromising situation. How? That is a red flag. You are not in a compromising situation. My friend, we know how to hide things. If I want to hide that I have feelings for this guy and I'm ditching you, you will never know. Imagine you will know, Queen. Let me tell you something. How do you know? I don't know. Who is the thief? I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. I will tell you. If anyone is not there, they will not be there If they are not there, they will not be there Just a simple mistake Kiddo go, that's a renf Now what do you do once you find them there? In this particular composition, your partner and your best friend Just leave Because they are not there Why should this person be there? If he is not there, he will say he is not there Priorities Quickly, another example I am on fire Do you have a scenario with me? Yes, I have a scenario Because we have a good friend We have best friends who we mentioned earlier Transfer Anthony has a girlfriend Broke up with a girlfriend Anthony gets a new one Now the best friend of Anthony gets Anthony's ex You get the scenario? Yes So my question See, to look at the breakup We had already broken up No strings attached, no size And he has his friend He has a friend And then his best friend comes to me I don't see the problem as to There is no problem To me there is no problem Because at the end of the day See, at the end of the day I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship There is no problem If you are married You will not be snatched from that relationship So it is okay to date your best friend's ex For me it is fine You cannot You cannot But in society, when you judge You broke the broke code It is his sister code No And then Sister code is the person in society You are the person in society And maybe this person Would actually take very good care Compared to your ex No Will you say no because Society My friend If everybody was living under society's rule No one could be with anyone I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship I will not be snatched from that relationship As long as we have broken up I will not be snatched from that relationship Do you know someone might even write that thing There is a time I actually believe That that is the right story And I spoke it in public I spoke it in public I spoke it in public I spoke it in public And I will say it boldly So let's head over to Facebook I love it too And then you guys can give in your comments there I spoke it in public The Kenya we are living in The Kenya we are living in My best friend and my woman should Not even talk Not even meet Let me add to him Yeah, yeah This comments are so many Agnes T. Nyari BFF are hell living on earth Out of experience Agnes Chubui Very correct Mr. Reza Nassima This is a jealous friend period Kennedy Jumba as Sirig Nassima, count me in Thank you so much Ken for tuning in Mr. Reza Nassima Zayo Nassima We are living in a fake world Forerite Nassima I think who you Who you mama are not to corrugate you And I don't want to be like experience Okay Okay And I don't want to be like that Jeremy Benkip Yes, I have an experience about This particular issue Nassima, can friends ruin your relationship Experience about it Tell us who you experience my brother Tell us what happened Who hurt you Kevin Nassima Yeah, they can Oh Oh Sorry Sorry Ron Fully Mr. Reza Nassima Junior Junior Nassima, respect your best friend And leave you Jeremy Ben And Mr. Nassima Matthew Witte Nassima, best friends are not All that bad We cannot all deny that many Relationships ended We cannot deny that Many relationships ended The ones that we were warned Of by our best friends Know your friend The things they can do And the ones they cannot So that When they help you see the red flags You do not see them as Devils Your comments on Those things Mr. Nassima Okay, I'll just agree With the last comment because If you don't know the people that are around you You will not know what is To come If you know them most importantly At the end of the day If you don't know them You will not know They will be respect And boundaries that are You will not know boundaries And return boundaries Now let me ask this question Before I ask, Anthony your feedback Your response Choose a friend wisely Just don't go for any Person and make them your best friend Now let me ask this In the menu who are wondering Whether they should go for it or not Is it okay to have a best friend Who is of the opposite sex If you want a best friend Then it is okay If I'm dating Whether you're dating or not You have a best friend Who is of the opposite sex We are best friends We are not lovers Even the point that you date You still maintain them as best friends Like when? I beg to differ Best friend who is a man I seriously beg to differ Because at the end of the day She's a lady She's a woman, I'm a woman And there is, even if people say That oh my partner is not jealous He's not jealous Okay There's attention that you're giving this lady And I am feeling That it's okay A certain percentage Let me say to a 30% of myself It's fine But to a 70% I will sit down and think Are you happy? Are you happy? Are you happy? And I'm remembering She's a woman as I am What is going to happen But now you can you also have A best friend of the opposite sex I would date I would I literally would not I would have close friends So that I avoid problems and issues In my relationship Because at the end of the day I will be questioned And I don't want to be questioned Because to a point of I am trying to choose I don't want to choose between the two of you I am not ready to choose Let me ask you this question now How often should you be meeting In those times that you guys will be meeting up For coffee To talk or Name them I also want to say this When you are dating You need to like your girlfriend How often do you meet your best friend When you are dating Like in a month or in a week Same in a month Like 20 sometimes That's a worry Will you avoid meeting your best friends Still as my opposite sex The same sex pair With my boys No girls allowed You have a lover And you have a partner Who will you prioritize first Who will prioritize first With your girlfriend But it depends How often do you guys go out Because at the end of the day As much as we are together You are not in a cage So how often Is it every weekend If it's every weekend now we will have a problem If it's every time Any free time You are already out with your friends Let me give an example of those who go to clubs And smoke and drink There are those who say You know what I have a partner And I invite her And she will be happy And I base it on her As a partner And she will say My friends have come They have come over How often should we Be seeing that happen For somebody who is dating Your privacy should matter Because if you want to invite your friends Over for drinks And you have forgotten that you are dating Your privacy should matter It is fine, you can have it once a month But it should not Be to an extent where it is too much That I am feeling the pressure Alright Some people say I am surprised that I am not seeing them Anthony, yes I agree You should be every time Respect the privacy that you guys have With your partner Let's go to church We have Those friends who you meet every Sunday You know Your partner Of course doesn't go to the same church with you Maybe you are going to church in Guinea But you have your friends who you meet with every Sunday So every Sunday with a partner Ladies like doing that Sometimes men like doing that They say after church we are going to KFC After church we are going to this place We are going to eat Have a good time You ask them How are you doing And you feel uncomfortable about it Because every week they meet During the week They talk, they chat on Sunday When they are out, would you be okay with that Should that be happening? If it is every Sunday I would not be comfortable with it Because one, at the end of the day We need to create time to be with each other At the end of the day This friend of mine should understand That I am in a relationship That is my priority If you are going out with your friends To KFC And you are comfortable with me being around your friends I can hop in, let me come, let me go And then Why should I be in a setup Whereby I am not able to call My boyfriend to come At the end of the day Even if I am meeting up with my friends after church By the way, this Sunday I am coming to your place after church Next Sunday we come Both of them Because we also need time for ourselves Priorities at the end of the day really do matter Okay, I understand Do you have time? As I said, I agree Priorities do matter I really respect these people In relationships And they tell their partners That I am your best friend You communicate You communicate in advance I am going out with my best friends To get along Are you comfortable to pop in? As simple as that We have best friends who always want your attention Put them off Tell them They should be able to handle Whatever you are going to tell them If you are not able to approach a best friend And tell them that by the way There is one, two, three going on in my life That is not a person that you are supposed to be with You should tell them be open By the way You have to understand That there is someone else who has come into my life And also needs attention And that attention I cannot divert it I know I can give them both of your attention But one has to be larger than they are Alright, now this one comes to you Anthony We have best friends who want to hook you up With other people They know you are dating They know you are with somebody By the way You check in this guy That is your best friend If you are dating someone You are just having fun I want to eat at the devil's scent Those are the devil's scent What do you do when you have a relationship And you are trying to divert my mind And my attention to someone else And it starts behaving in this way With people You are making your friends If you are making friends Who have bad company And you are going to be pressuring them That type of friends you should be with No, you are making friends with You have thought on that I think I just agree with him Because at the end of the day You disagree or just agree I agree with what you have said You have to know that Why should you be with Such people in your life You should be with friends who are able to protect you With Exactly Whether your partner is there or not Someone that you can stand in accountability Like for example people that are dating And are into courtship headed for marriage You need to have an accountability couple Now I have a problem here And I really need you guys to clarify When it comes to Closeness Some say Your best friends were there Before your partner came And they will be there even When you guys break up So keep your relationships Well With your best friends While others say Your partner is the one who you should give priority to It doesn't matter Who your best friends are Sometimes you need to let go of your best friends For the sake of your partner Now I am confused Who should we give priority here To whom Exactly When it comes to secrets That some Have best friends who know more about them Than their partner And some have Their partner who knows about them Than their best friends Which one is better I will tell you I will tell you Why Anthony Is it too much of a priority Because now The moment you give your best friend too much of a priority How this person of yours So priorities Alright Priorities and secrets I think When you establish respect between the two of them No one will feel more entitled than the other Because your question It is all about entitlement I am entitled to her And it's like If you as an individual first of all Establishes respect between Your best friend and your partner You will not be having such kind of questions Going on What is my man doing with the lady Best friend What are they bestifying That I cannot They are bestifying Bestification That's a lie It can never be me Not all best friends Can ruin your relationship But some can do it Because of jealousy A friendship may add a lot of value And happiness to your life But it can affect your life In not so good ways too Especially if your friends Don't wish too well For you Alright guys time We have to close it there And of course I know We still have not covered a lot That's how power talk is There is no day we have ever had Some good time but please bring up the quotas We bring this conversation to a close Now tell us whether you agree I come to Michael Basenden Anasema it's tragic How couples allow outsiders To ruin something so precious That took so long to build Loving your friends And family should never come At the price of destroying Your marriage or Your relationship And of course that presents To the end of this morning conversation Right on power talk Thank you so much for coming As I understand a big thanks to Quinn Massey Thanks so much for coming And of course a big thanks to everyone That ensured this show was a success My name is Ram Maguko See you again next week for power talk And of course we value your feedback Keep talking to us I repeat of this show as again tonight May God bless you May God bless the work of your hands This is power talk


Hey, what's up coach? Welcome back to the podcast. I got a really good question today this is something has been asked multiple multiple times and Want to take the time here and create this video because I want this to be kind of the the last time I ever have to talk about this. All right, but I got a coach coach from Cincinnati Messaged me. He is a football trainer and he said hey Ben How do you stay so focused during the day to get things done? I feel like I start something and then I get distracted and I don't feel like I have a lot of discipline and self-control throughout the day and This guy went on he talked about how he's watching my my older videos where I talk about this sort of stuff but he just doesn't have anything in place to Just be more decisive with how he spends his time during the day and There's three things here that I feel like have really helped me and I know if anyone does these three things. It's it's gonna help. All right, so number one it's Your like you need to have a clear separation between your cell phone and your business. All right, so with that There's a couple of things. I Want you to download Google Voice? You literally just go to Google type in Google Voice get a free phone number there and I want you to text all of your clients say hey Here's my new phone number my old phone number that used to have does not work anymore So this way during the day No one can just shoot you a text and say hey like how are you doing or what time is our session today? Or like all of that goes away. All right, so get Google Voice and start to learn how to use your computer So you can operate Google Voice from your laptop or from your computer. All right, that is number one All right, number two is during the work day Have your phone on silent right and Only take scheduled calls unless it is a family member period All right, and you know, this might sound a little ridiculous, but I've talked about this another another videos If I have a buddy that reaches out to me today, I Will not pick my phone up There's zero percent chance during my work day That I will pick my phone up and so what am I telling you? Well, I'm telling you that you only make calls with people When they're scheduled and that means that you are calling people Right and during the day any text any phone call that comes in All that does is it distracts you right, it distracts you it gets you off of your mission and I have enough self-control to do that like my phone is always on silent anytime someone hits me up during the day I never pick up unless it's my let's it's someone in my family Right and normally they're not calling me every day Right, so that's the second thing the third is on your phone All right, this is a killer for so many people like just take off any apps on your phone There shouldn't be any apps on there All right, and if you have an iPhone you get a weekly report every week saying how much you're on your phone every day I can promise you you're on your phone probably three to four hours per day looking at crap That has nothing to do with anything. All right, that's not gonna benefit your life at all Right so get rid of all of the apps and then something that I found recently This has really helped me is like on social me on Facebook. I only use Facebook to Message clients. I'm not on there posting about How cool I am or you know how you know where I got my last haircut up Right not checking in. I'm not showing pictures of me and my wife Like there's zero on there other than me going into message people, right and with that It's like every time I log in I can see things from Friends that I'm connected with and it's very easy just to log in and be like, oh, what's this person doing? What's this person doing so you can download something.  You don't see anything.