CHAPTER 20 A SWEET MEMORY Now the lovely June days had come. Everything began to look really summer-like. School would soon be over, and the young people were joyfully preparing for the long vacation. We are all going to Bethlehem. We take the seashore one year and the mountains the next. Better come along, said Gus, as the boys lay on the grass after beating the Lincoln's at one of the first matches of the season. Can't. We are off to Pebboli Beach the second week in July. Our invalids need sea air. That one looks delicate, doesn't he? Asked Frank, giving Jack a slight wrap with his bat, as that young gentleman lay in his usual attitude, admiring the blue hose and the russet shoes which adorned his sturdy limbs. Stop that, Captain. You didn't talk about invalids when your no mother says you are not to look at a book for a month, because you have studied yourself thin and head-a-key. I'm all right. And Jack gave himself a sounding slap on the chest, where shone the white star of the H-B-B-C. Here the little cockerel crow. You just wait till you get into the college class and see if you don't have to study like fun, said Gus, with unruffled composure, for he was going to Harvard next year and felt himself already a senior. Never shall. I don't want any of your old colleges. I'm going into business as soon as I can. Ed says I may be his bookkeeper if I am ready when he starts for himself. That is much jollier than grinding away for four years and then having to grind ever so many more at a profession, said Jack, examining with interest the various knocks and bruises with which much ball-playing had adorned his hands. Much you know about it, just as well you don't mean to try, for it will take a mighty long pull and strong pull to get you in. Business would suit you better. And you and Ed would make a capital partnership. Devlin and no one co. Sounds well, hey, Gus? Very, but they are such good natured chaps they'd never get rich. By the way, Ed came home at noon to-day sick. I met him and he looked regularly knocked up, answered Gus in a sober tone. I told him he'd better not go down Monday for he wasn't well Saturday and couldn't come to sing Sunday evening, you remember? I must go right round and see what the matter is. And Jack jumped up with an anxious face. Let him alone till tomorrow. He won't want anyone fussing over him now. We are going for a pull. Come along and steer, said Frank. For the sunset promised to be fine and the boys liked to brisk row in their newly painted boat, the Rodora. Go ahead and get ready. I'll just cut round and ask at the door. It will seem kind and I must know how Ed is, won't be long. And Jack was off at his best pace. The others were waiting impatiently when he came back with slower steps and a more anxious face. How is the old fellow called Frank from the boat? Well, Gus stood leaning on an oar in a nautical attitude. Pretty sick, had the doctor, may have a fever. I didn't go in, but Ed sent his love and wanted to know who beat, answered Jack, stepping to his place, glad to rest and cool himself. Guess he'll be all right in a day or two and Gus pushed off, leaving all care behind. Hope he won't have typhoid, that's no joke, I tell you, said Frank, who knew all about it and did not care to repeat the experience. He's worked too hard and he's so faithful he does more than his share and gets tired out. Mother asked him to come down and see us when he has his vacation. We're going to have high old times fishing in boating. Up or down, asked Jack, as they glided out into the river. Gus looked both ways and seeing another boat with a glimpse of red in it just going around the bend, answered with decision, up of course, don't we always pull to the bridge? Not when the girls are going down, laughed Jack, who had recognized Juliet's scarlet boating suit as he glanced over his shoulder. Mind what you are about and don't gavel, commanded Captain Frank, as the crew bent to their oars and the slender boat cut through the water, leaving a long furrow trembling behind. Oh, ah, I see, there is a blue jacket as well as a red one, so it's all right. Lady Queen Anne, she sits in the sun, as white as a lily, as brown as a bun. Sung Jack, recovering his spirits and wishing Jill was there too.  Shouldn't mind, it's so warm. But Jack said no more, and soon the redore was alongside the water-witch, exchanging greetings in the most amiable manner. Pity this boat won't hold for. We'd put Jack in yours and take you girls a nice spin up to the hemlock, said Frank, whose idea of bliss was floating down the river with Annette as cockswing. You'd better come in here, this will hold for, and we are tired of rowing, returned the water-witch, so invitingly that Gus could not resist. I don't think it is safe to put four in there. You'd better change places with Annette, Gus, and then we shall be ship-shaped, said Frank, answering a telegram from the eyes that matched the blue jacket. Wouldn't it be more ship-shape still if you put me ashore at Griff's Landing? I can take his boat or wait till you come back. Don't care what I do, said Jack, feeling himself sadly in the way. The good-natured offer being accepted with thanks, the changes were made, and leaving him behind, the two boats went gaily up the river. He really did not care what he did, so sat in Griff's boat a while watching the red sky, the shining stream, and the low-green meadows, where the blackbirds were singing as if they too had met their little sweethearts and were happy. Jack remembered that quiet half-hour long afterward, because what followed seemed to impress it on his memory. As he sat enjoying the scene, he very naturally thought about Ed. For the face of the sister whom he saw was very anxious, and the word fever recalled the hard times when Frank was ill. Particularly, the night it was thought the boy would not live till dawn, and Jack cried himself to sleep, wondering how he ever could get on without his brother. Ed was almost as dear to him, and the thought that he was suffering destroyed Jack's pleasure for a little while. But fortunately, young people do not know how to be anxious very long, so our boy soon cheered up, thinking about the late match between the stars and the Lincoln's. And after a good rest went whistling home, with a handful of mint for Mrs. Peck, and played games with Jill as merrily as if there was no such thing as care in the world. Next day, Ed was worse, and for a week the answer was the same, when Jack crept to the back door with his eager question. Others came also, for the dear boy lying upstairs had friends everywhere, and older neighbors thought of him even more anxiously and tenderly than his mates. It was not fever, but some swifter trouble, for when Saturday night came, Ed had gone home to a longer and more peaceful Sabbath than any he had ever known in this world. Jack had been there in the afternoon, and a kind message had come down to him that his friend was not suffering so much, and he had gone away hoping in his boyish ignorance that all danger was over. An hour later he was reading in the parlor, having no heart for play, when Frank came in with a look upon his face, which would have prepared Jack for the news if he had seen it. But he did not look up, and Frank found it so hard to speak, that he lingered a moment at the piano, as he often did when he came home. It stood open, and on the rack was the jolly brother's gallop, which he had been learning to play with Ed. Big boy as he was, the sudden thought that never again would they sit shoulder to shoulder, thundering the marches or singing the songs both like so well, made his eyes fill as he laid away the music and shut the instrument. Feeling as if he never wanted to touch it again. Then he went and sat down beside Jack with an arm round his neck, trying to study his voice by a natural question before he told the heavy news. What are you reading, Jackie? The unusual caress, the very gentle tone, made Jack look up, and the minute he saw Frank's face, he knew the truth. Is Ed? He could not say the hard word, and Frank could only answer by a nod as he winked fast for the tears would come. Jack said no more, but as the book dropped from his knee, he hid his face in the sofa pillow and lay quite still, not crying, but trying to make it seem true that his dear Ed had gone away forever. He could not do it, and presently turned his head a little to say in a despairing tone. I don't see what I shall do without him. I know it's hard for you. It is for all of us. You've got Gus, but now I haven't anybody. Ed was always so good to me. And with the name so many tender recollections came that poor Jack broke down in spite of his manful attempts to smother the sobs in the red pillow. There was an unconscious reproach in the words Frank thought, for he was not as gentle as Ed, and he did not wonder that Jack loved and mourned for the lost friend like a brother. You've got me, I'll be good to you. Cry if you want to, I don't mind. There was such a sympathetic joke in Frank's voice that Jack felt comforted at once, and when he had had his cry out, which was very soon, he let Frank pull him up with a bear-like but affectionate hug and sat leaning on him as they talked about their loss, both feeling that there might have been a greater one and resolving to love one another very much hereafter. Mrs. Minot often called Frank the father boy because he was now the head of the house and a sober, reliable fellow for his years. Usually he did not show much affection except to her, for as he once said, I shall never be too old to kiss my mother.  He domineered over Jack and laughed at his affectionate little ways, but now when trouble came, he was as kind and patient as a girl, and when Mama came in having heard the news, she found her father boy comforting his brother so well that she slipped away without a word, leaving them to learn one of the sweet lessons Sorrow teaches, to lean on one another and let each trial bring them closer together. It is often said that there should be no death or grief in children's stories. It is not wise to dwell on the dark and sad side of these things, but they have also a bright and lovely side, and since even the youngest, dearest, and most guarded child cannot escape some knowledge of the great mystery, is it not well to teach them in simple, cheerful ways that affection sweet and sorrow and a lovely life can make death beautiful? I think so. Therefore try to tell the last scene in the history of a boy who really lived and really left behind him a memory so precious that it will not be soon forgotten by those who knew and loved him. For the influence of this short life was felt by many, and even this brief record of it may do for other children what the reality did for those who still lay flowers on his grave and try to be as good as it. Few would have thought that the death of a quiet lad of 17 would have been so widely felt, so sincerely mourned, but virtue, like sunshine, works its own sweet miracles. And when it was known that never again would the bright face be seen in the village streets, the cheery voice heard, the loving heart felt, in any of the little acts which so endeared Ed Devlin to those about him, it seemed as if young and old grieved alike for so much promise cut off in its springtime. This was proved at the funeral. For though it took place at the busy hour of a busy day, men left their affairs, women their households, young people their studies and their play, and gave an hour to show their affection, respect, and sympathy for those who had lost so much. The girls had trimmed the church with all the sweetest flowers they could find, and garlands of lilies of the valley robbed the casket of its mournful look. The boys had brought fresh boughs to make the grave a green bed for their comrades last sleep. Now they all gathered together, and it was a touching sight to see the row of young faces sobered and saddened by their first look at sorrow.  Tears dimmed older eyes when the hymn, the dead boy loved was sung, and the pastor told how much pride and pleasure he had watched the gracious growth of this young parishioner since he first met the lad of 12, and was attracted by the shining face, the pleasant manners. Dutiful and loving, ready to help, patient to bear and forebear, eager to excel, faithful to the smallest task, yet full of high ambitions, and better still, possessing the childlike piety that can trust and believe, wait and hope. Good and happy, the two things we all long for, and so few of us truly are. This he was, and the single fact was the best eulogy his pastor could pronounce over the beloved youth, gone to a nobler manhood whose promise left so sweet a memory behind. As the young people looked, listened, and took in the scene, they felt as if some mysterious power had changed their playmate from a creature like themselves into a sort of saint or hero for them to look up to and imitate if they could. What has he done to be so loved, praised and mourned, they thought, with a tender sort of wonder? And the answer seemed to come to them as never before, for never had they been brought so near the solemn truth of life and death. It was not what he did, but what he was that made him so beloved. All that was sweet and noble in him still lives, for goodness is the only thing we can take with us when we die, the only thing that can comfort those we leave behind and help us to meet again hereafter. This feeling was in many hearts when they went away to lay him with prayer and music under the budding oak that leaned over his grave, a fit emblem of the young life just beginning its new spring. As the children did their part, the beauty of the summer day soothed their sorrow and something of the soft brightness of the June sunshine seemed to gild their thoughts as it gilded the flowers strewn mound they left behind. The true and touching words spoken cheered as well as impressed them and made them feel that their friend was not lost, but gone on into a higher class of the great school whose master is eternal love and wisdom. So the tears soon dried and the young faces looked up like flowers after rain. But the heaven sent showers sank into the earth and they were the stronger, sweeter for it, more eager to make life brave and beautiful because death had gently shown them what it should be. When the boys came home, they found their mother already returned and Jill upon the parlor sofa, listening to her account of the funeral with the same quiet, hopeful look which their own faces wore. For somehow the sadness seemed to have gone and the sort of Sunday peace remained. I'm glad it was also sweet and pleasant. Come and rest, you look so tired.  Jack sat down in the load chair beside her and leaned his head against the arm of the sofa for he was tired. But Frank walked slowly up and down the long rooms with a serious, yet serene look on his face, for he felt as if he had learned something that day and would always be the better for it. Presently he said, stopping before his mother, who leaned in the easy chair looking up at the picture of her boy's father. I should like to have just such things said about me when I die. So should I, if I deserve them as Ed did, cried Jack earnestly. You may, if you try. I should be proud to hear them. And if they were true, they would comfort me more than anything else. I am glad you see the lovely side of sorrow and are learning the lessons such losses teach us, answered their mother, who believed in teaching young people to face trouble bravely and find the silver lining in the clouds that come to all of us. I never thought much about it before, but now dying doesn't seem dreadful at all, only solemn and beautiful. Somehow everybody seems to love everybody else more for it and try to be kind and good and pious.  And Frank went pacing on again with the bright look his eyes always wore when he listened to music in the red of some noble action. That's what Mary said when she and Molly came in on their way home. But Molly felt dreadfully and so did Mabel. She brought me these flowers to press, for we are all going to keep some to remember Ed by, said Jill. Carefully smoothing out the little bells as she laid the lilies in her hymn book. For she too had had a thoughtful hour while she lay alone, imagining all that went on in the church and shedding a few tender tears over the friend who was always so kind to her. I don't want anything to remember him by. I was so fond of him, I couldn't forget if I tried. I know I ought not to say it, but I don't see why God let him die, said Jack with a quiver in his voice, for his loving heart could not help aching still. No, dear, we cannot see or know many things that grieve us very much, but we can trust that it is right and try to believe that all is meant for our good. That is what faith means, and without it we are miserable. When you were little, you were afraid of the dark, but if I spoke or touched you, then you were sure all was well and fell asleep holding my hand. God is wiser and stronger than any father or mother, so hold fast to him, and you will have no doubt or fear, however dark it seems. As you do, said Jack, going to sit on the arm of Mama's chair with his cheek to hers, willing to trust as she bade him, but glad to hold fast the living hand that had led and comforted him all his life. Ed used to say to me when I fretted about getting well and thought nobody cared for me, which was very naughty. Don't be troubled, God won't forget you, and if you must be lame, he will make you able to bear it, said Jill, softly, her quick little mind all alive with new thoughts and feelings. He believed it, and that's why he liked that hymn so much. I'm glad they sung it today, said Frank, bringing his heavy dictionary to lay on the book where the flowers were pressing. Oh, thank you. Could you play that tune for me? I didn't hear it, and I'd love to if you were willing, asked Jill. I didn't think I ever should want to play again, but I do. Will you sing it for her, Mother? I'm afraid I shall break down if I try alone. We will all sing. Music is good for us now, said Mama, and in rather broken voices they did sing Ed's favorite words. Not a sparrow falleth, but it's God Doth know, just as when his mandate lays him on our glow. Not a leaflet mooveth, but it's God Doth see, think not then, O mortal, God forgeteth thee. Far more precious surely than the birds that fly is a father's image to a father's eye. In thine hairs are numbered, trust him full and free. Cast thy cares before him, he will comfort thee. For the God that planted in thy breast a soul, on his sacred tables doth thy name enroll. Cheer thine heart, then mortal, never faithless be. He that marks the sparrows will remember thee. LIBERVOX.ORG Recording by Mary Anderson. Jack and Jill by Louisa May Alcott. CHAPTER XXI. PEBLI BEACH Now, Mr. Jack, it is a moral impossibility to get all those things into one trunk, and you mustn't ask it of me, said Mrs. Peck, in a tone of despair, as she surveyed the heap of treasures she was expected to pack for the boys. Never mind the clothes, we only want a boating suit apiece. Mama can put a few collars in her trunk for us. But these necessary things must go, answered Jack, adding his target and air pistol to the pile of bats, fishing tackle, games, and a choice collection of shabby balls. Those was the necessaries, and clothes the luxuries, are they? Why don't you add a velocipede wheelbarrow and printing press, my dear, asked Mrs. Peck, while Jill turned up her nose at boys' rubbish? Wish I could, dare say we shall want them. Women don't know what fellows need, and always must put in a lot of stiff shirts and clean handkerchiefs and clothes brushes and pots of cold cream. We are going to rough it and don't want any fuss and feathers, said Jack, beginning to pack the precious balls in his rubber boots and strap them up with the umbrellas, rods, and bats, seeing that there was no hope of a place in the trunk. Here Frank came in with two big books saying calmly, just slip these in somewhere, we shall need them. But you are not to study at all, so you won't want those great dictionaries, cried Jill, busily packing her new traveling basket with all sorts of little rolls, bags, and boxes. They are not dicks, but my encyclopedia. We shall want to know heaps of things, and this tells about everything. With those books and a microscope and a telescope you could travel around the world and learn all you wanted to. Can't possibly get on without them, said Frank, fondly patting his favorite work.  It can't be done, Mr. Frank, all the boxes are brimful and you'll have to leave those fat books behind for there's not place anywhere. Then I'll carry them myself, and Frank tucked one under each arm with a determined air, which settled the matter. I suppose you'll study coquillology instead of boating and read up on polywogs while we play tennis or go poking round with your old spyglass instead of having a jolly good time, said Jack, hauling away on the strap till all was taut and ship-shape with the bundle. Tad-polds don't live in saltwater, my son, and if you mean conchiology, you better say so. I shall play as much as I wish, and when I want to know about any new or curious thing, I shall consult my cyclo instead of bothering other people with questions or giving it up like a dunce, with which crushing reply Frank departed, leaving Jill to pack and unpack her treasures a dozen times and Jack to dance jigs on the lids of the trunks till they would shut. A very happy party set off the next day, leaving Mrs. Peck waving her apron on the steps. Mrs. Minot carried the lunch. Jack, his precious bundle, with trifles dropping out by the way, and Jill felt very elegant bearing her new basket with red-worsted cherries bobbing on the outside. Frank actually did take the encyclopedia done up in the roll of shawls, and whenever the others wondered about anything, tides, lighthouses, towns, or natural productions, he brought forth one of the books and triumphantly read therefrom to the Great Marryment if not edification of his party.  And while the lads roved here and there, she sat under the awning, too happy to talk. But Mrs. Minot watched with real satisfaction how the fresh wind blew the color back into the pale cheeks, and how the eyes shone and the heart filled with the light at seeing the lovely world again, and being able to take a share in its active pleasures. The willows was a long, low house close to the beach, and as full as a beehive of pleasant people, all intent on having a good time. A great many children were swarming about, and Jill found it impossible to sleep after her journey. There was such a lively clatter of tongues on the piazas and so many feet going to and fro in the halls. She lay down obediently while Mrs. Minot settled matters in the two airy rooms and gave her some dinner. But she kept popping up her head to look out of the window to see what she could see. Just opposite stood an artist's cottage and studio with all manner of charming galleries, towers, steps, and even a sort of drawbridge to pull up when the painter wished to be left in peace. He was absent now, and the visitors took possession of this fine play place. Children were racing up and down the galleries, ladies sitting in the tower, boys disporting themselves on the roof, and young gentlemen preparing for theatricals in the large studio. What fun I'll have over there, thought Jill, watching the merry scene with great interest, and wondering if the little girls she saw were as nice as Molly and Mary. Then there were glimpses of the sea beyond the green bank where a path wound along to the beach. Wents came the cool dash of waves, and now and then the glimmer of a passing sail. Oh, when can I go out? It looks so lovely, I can't wait long, she said, looking as eager as a little gull shut up in a cage and pining for its home on the wide ocean. As soon as it is a little cooler, dear, I'm getting ready for our trip, but we must be careful and not do too much at once. Slow and sure is our motto, answered Mrs. Minot, busily collecting the camp stools, the shawls, the air cushions, and the big parasols. I'll be good, only do let me have my sailor hat to wear and my new suit. I'm not a bit tired, and I do want to be like other folks right off, said Jill, who had been improving rapidly of late and felt much elated at being able to drive out nearly every day to walk a little and sit up some hours without any pain or fatigue. To gratify her the blue flannel suit with its white trimming was put on, and Mama was just buttoning the stout boots when Jack thundered at the door and burst in with all sorts of glorious news. Do come out, Mother, it's perfectly splendid on the beach. I've found a nice place for Jill to sit, and it's only a step. Lots of capital fellows here. One has a bicycle and is going to teach us to ride. No end of fun up at the hotel, and everyone seems glad to see us. Two ladies asked about Jill, and one of the girls has got some shells all ready for her. Dirty somebody.  They sit at our table, and Wally is the boy, younger than I am, but very pleasant. Bacon is the fellow in Knickerbockers. Just wish you could see what stout legs he's got. Cox is the chap for me, though. We are going fishing tomorrow. He's got a sweet-looking mother and a sister for you, Jill. Now then do come on. I'll take the traps. Off they went, and Jill thought that very short walk to the shore the most delightful she ever took. For people smiled at the little invalid as she went slowly by, leaning on Mrs. Minow's arm, while Jack pranced in front doing the honors, as if he owned the whole Atlantic.  Jill gave one rapturous, oh, and then sat on her stool, forgetting everything but the beautiful blue ocean rolling away to meet the sky, with nothing to break the wide expanse, but a sail here and there, a point of rocks on one hand, the little pier on the other, and white gulls skimming by on their wide wings. While she sat enjoying herself, Jack showed his mother the place he had found, and a very nice one it was, just under the green bank lay an old boat propped up with some big stones. A willow drooped over it, the tide rippled up within a few yards of it, and a fine view of the waves could be seen as they dashed over the rocks at the point. Isn't it a good cubby house? Ben Cox and I fixed it for Jill, and she can have it for hers. Put her cushions and things there on the sand the children have thrown in. That will make it soft. Then these seats will do for tables, and up in the bow I'm going to have that old rusty tin boiler full of salt water, so she can put seaweed and crabs and all sorts of chaps in it for an aquarium. You know, explained Jack, greatly interested in establishing his family comfortably before he left them. There couldn't be a nicer place, and it's very kind of you to get it ready. Spread the shawls and settle Jill, then you needn't think of us any more, but go and scramble with Frank. I see him over there with his spy-glass and some pleasant-looking boys, said Mama, bustling about in great spirits. So the red cushions were placed, the plaids laid, and the little work-basket set upon the seat, all ready for Jill, who was charmed with her nest and cuddled down under the big parasol, declaring she would keep house there every day. Even the old boiler pleased her, and Jack raced over the beach to begin his search for inhabitants for the new aquarium, leaving Jill to make friends digging in the sand. While Mama sat on the camp-stool and talked with a friend from Harmony Village, it seemed as if there could not be anything more delightful than to lie there lulled by the sound of the sea, watching the sunset, and listening to the pleasant babble of little voices close by. But when they went to tea in the great hall, with six tables full of merry people and half a dozen maids flying about, Jill thought that was even better, because it was so new to her. Gertie and Wally nodded to her, and their pretty Mama was so kind and so gay that Jill could not feel bashful after the first few minutes, and soon looked about her, sure of seeing friendly faces everywhere. Frank and Jack ate as if the salt air had already improved their appetites, and talked about bacon and cocks as if they had been bosom friends for years. Mama was as happy as they, for her friend, Mrs. Hammond, sat close by, and that rosy lady, who had been a physician, cheered her up by predicting that Jill would soon be running about as well as ever. But the best of all was in the evening, when the elder people gathered in the parlors and played twenty questions, while the children looked on for an hour before going to bed, much amused at the sight of grown people laughing, squabbling, dodging, and joking as if they had all become young again. For as everyone knows, it is impossible to help lively skirmishes when that game is played. Jill lay in the sofa corner, enjoying it all immensely, for she never saw anything so droll, and found it capital fun to help guess the thing, or try to puzzle the opposite side. Her quick wits and bright face attracted people, and in the pauses of the sport she held quite a levee, for everybody was interested in the little invalid. The girls shyly made friends in their own way. The mamas told thrilling tales of the accidents their own darlings had survived. Several gentlemen kindly offered their boats, and the boys, with the best intentions in life, suggested strolls of two or three miles to Rave's chasm and Norman's woe, or invited her to tennis and archery, as if violent exercise was the cure for all human ills. She was very grateful, and reluctantly went away to bed, declaring when she got upstairs, that these new friends were the dearest people she ever met, and the willows the most delightful place in the whole world. Next day a new life began for the young folks, a very healthy, happy life, and all threw themselves into it so heartily that it was impossible to help getting great good from it, for these summer weeks, if well spent, worked miracles in tired bodies and souls. Frank took a fancy to the bicycle boy, and being able to hire one of the breakneck articles soon learned to ride it, and the two might be seen wildly working their long legs on certain smooth stretches of road, or getting up their muscles rowing about the bay till they were almost as brown and nautical in appearance and language as the fishermen who lived in nooks and corners along the shore. Jack struck up a great friendship with the sturdy bacon and the agreeable cocks. The latter, being about his own age, was his especial favorite, and they soon were called box and cocks by the other fellows, which did not annoy them a bit, as both had played parts in that immortal farce. They had capital times fishing, scrambling over rocks, playing ball and tennis, and rainy days they took possession of the studio opposite, drew up the port colis, and gallantly defended the castle, which some of the others besieged with old umbrellas for shields, bats for battering rams, and bunches of burrs for cannonballs. Great larks went on over there, while the girls applauded from the piazza or chamber windows, and made a gay flag for the victors to display from the tower when the fight was over. But Jill had the best time of all. For each day brought increasing strength and spirits, and she improved so fast it was hard to believe that she was the same girl who lay so long almost helpless in the bird room at home. Such lively letters as she sent her mother, all about her new friends, her fine sails, drives and little walks. The good times she had in the evening, the lovely things people gave her, and she was learning to make with shells and seaweed, and what splendid fun it was to keep house in a boat. This last amusement soon grew quite absorbing, and her cubby, as she called it, rapidly became a pretty grotto, where she lived like a little mermaid, daily loving more and more the beauty of the wonderful sea. Finding the boat too sunny at times, the boys cut long willow boughs and arched them over the seats, laying hemlock branches across till a green roof made it cool and shady inside. There Jill sat or lay among her cushions, reading, trying to sketch, sorting shells, drying gay seaweeds or watching her crabs, jellyfish and anemones in the old boiler, now buried in sand and edged about with moss from the woods. Nobody disturbed her treasures, but kindly added to them, and often when she went to her nest she found fruit or flowers, books or bonbons laid ready for her. Everyone pitied and liked the bright little girl who could not run and frisk with the rest, who was so patient and cheerful after her long confinement, ready to help others, and so grateful for any small favor. She found now that the weary months had not been wasted and was very happy to discover in herself a new sort of strength and sweetness that was not only a comfort to her, but made those about her love and trust her. The songs she had learned attracted the babies who had left their play to peep at her and listened when she sung over her work. Passersby paused to hear the blithe voice of the bird in the green cage, and other invalids strolling on the beach would take heart when they saw the child so happy in spite of her great trial. The boys kept all their marine curiosities for her and were always ready to take her for a row or a sail as the bay was safe and that sort of travelling suited her better than driving. But the girls had capital times together and it did gel good to see another sort from those she knew at home. She had been so much petted of late that she was getting rather vain of her small accomplishments and being with strangers, richer, better bred and educated than herself made her more humble in some things while it showed her the worth of such virtues as she could honestly claim. Mamie Cox took her to drive in the fine carriage of her mama and Jill was much impressed by the fact that Mamie was not a bit proud about it and did not put on any heirs though she had a maid to take care of her. Gertie wore pretty costumes and came down with pink and blue ribbons in her hair that Jill envied very much yet Gertie liked her curls and longed to have some. While her mother, the lady from Philadelphia as they called her was so kind and gay that Jill quite adored her and always felt as if sunshine had come into the room when she entered. Two little sisters were very interesting to her and made her long for one of her own when she saw them going about together and heard them talk of their pleasant home where the great silk factories were. But they invited her to come and see the wonderful cocoons and taught her to knot pretty gray fringe on a quotient which delighted her being so new and easy.  She thought they would not care for a poor little girl like herself yet here she was the queen of the troop and this discovery touched and pleased her very much. In the morning they camped round the boat on the stones with books, gay work and merry chatter till bathing time.  For everyone looked so droll in the flannel suits it was hard to believe that the neat ladies and respectable gentlemen who went into the little houses could be the same persons as the queer short-skirted women with old hats tied down and bareheaded barefooted men in old suits who came skipping over the sand to disport themselves in the sea in the most undignified ways.  Some of the young ladies and girls were famous swimmers and looked very pretty in their bright red and blue costumes with loose hair and gay stockings as they danced into the water and floated away as fearlessly as real mermaidens. Jill had her quiet dip and good rubbing each fine day and then lay upon the warm sand watching the pranks of the others and longing to run and dive and shout and tumble with the rest. Now that she was among the well and active it seemed harder to be patient than when shut up and unable to stir. She felt so much better and had so little pain to remind her of past troubles it was almost impossible to help forgetting the poor back and letting her recovered spirits run away with her. If Mrs. Minot had not kept good watch she would have been off more than once so eager was she to be like other girls again so difficult was it to keep the restless feet quietly folded among the red cushions. One day she did yield to temptation and took a little voyage which might have been her last owing to the carelessness of those whom she trusted. It was a good lesson and made her as meek as a lamb during the rest of her stay. Mrs. Minot drove to Glockester one afternoon leaving Jill safely established after her nap in the boat with Gertie and Mamie making lace beside her. Don't try to walk or run about my dear sit on the Piazza if you get tired of this and amuse yourself quietly till I come back. I'll not forget the worsted in the canvas said Mama peeping over the bank last word as she waited for the omnibus to come along. Oh, don't forget the Gibralters cried Jill popping her head out of the green roof. Nor the bananas please added Gertie looking round one end. Nor the pink and blue ribbon to tie our shell baskets cried Mamie nearly tumbling into the aquarium at the other end. Mrs. Minot laughed and promised and rumbled away leaving Jill to an experience she would never forget. For half an hour the little girls worked busily then the boys came for Gertie and Mamie to go to the chasm with a party of friends who were to leave the next A. Off they went and Jill felt very lonely as the gay voices died away. Everyone had gone somewhere and only little Harry Hammond and his maid were on the beach. Two or three sandpipers ran about among the pebbles and Jill envied them their nimble legs so much that she could not resist getting up to take a few steps. She longed to run straight away over the firm smooth sand and feel again the delight of swift motion but she dared not try it and stood leaning on her tall parasol with her book in her hand when Frank, Jack and the bicycle boy came rowing lazily along and hailed her. Come for a sail Jill take you anywhere you like called Jack touched by the lonely figure on the beach. I'd love to go if you will row Mama made me promise not to go sailing without a man to take care of me. Would it spoil your fun to have me answered Jill eagerly? Not a bit come out on the big stones and we'll take you aboard said Frank as they steered to the place where she could embark the easiest. All the rest are gone to the chasm. I wanted to go because I've never seen it but of course I had to give it up as I do most of the fun and Jill sat down with an impatient sigh. We'll row you round there can't land but you can see the place and shout to the others if that will be any comfort to you proposed Frank as they pulled away round the pier. Oh yes that would be lovely and Jill smiled at Jack who was steering for she found it impossible to be dismal now with the fresh wind blowing in her face the blue waves slapping against the boat and three good-natured lads ready to gratify her wishes. Away they went laughing and talking gaily till they came to Goodwin's rocks where an unusual number of people were to be seen though the tide was going out and no white spray was dashing high into the air to make a sight we're seeing. What do you suppose they are about? Never saw such a lot of folks at this time shouldn't wonder if something had happened I say put me ashore and I'll cut up and see said the bicycle boy who was of an inquiring turn I'll go with you said Frank it won't take but a minute and I'd like to discover what it is maybe something we ought to know about so the boys pulled round into a quiet nook and the two elder ones scrambled up the rocks to disappear in the crowd five ten fifteen minutes passed and they did not return Jack grew impatient so did Jill and bait him run up and bring them back glad to know what kept them Jack departed to be swallowed up in his turn for not a sign of a boy did she see after that and having vainly strained her eyes to discover the attraction which held them she gave it up lay down on their jackets and began to read then the treacherous tide as it ebbed lower and lower down the beach began to lure the boat away for it was not fastened and when lightened of its load was an easy prize to the hungry sea always ready to steal all it can Jill knew nothing of this for her story was dull the gentle motion proved soothing and before she knew it she was asleep little by little the runaway boat slid farther from the shore and presently was floating out to sea with its drowsy freight while the careless boys unconscious of the time they were wasting lingered to see group after group photographed by the enterprising man who had trendled his camera to the rocks in the midst of a dream about home Jill was roused by a loud shout and starting up so suddenly that the sun umbrella went overboard she found herself sailing off alone while the distracted lads roared and beckoned vainly from the cove the oars lay at their feet where they left them and the poor child was quite helpless for she could not manage to sail and even the parasol with which she might have paddled a little had gone down with all sail set for a minute Jill was so frightened that she could only look about her with a scared face and wonder if drowning was a very disagreeable thing then the sight of the bicycle boy struggling with Jack who seemed inclined to swim after her and Frank shouting wildly hold on come back made her laugh in spite of her fear it was so comical and their distress so much greater than hers since it was their own carelessness which caused the trouble I can't come back there's nothing to hold on to you didn't fasten me and now I don't know where I'm going card Jill looking from the shore to the treacherous sea that was gently carrying her away keep cool and come after you road Frank before he followed Jack who had collected his wits and was tearing up the rocks like a shammy hunter the bicycle boy calmly sat down to keep his eye on the runaway calling out from time to time such cheering remarks as I'll aboard for Liverpool give my love to Victoria love and bear away when you come to Halifax if you are hard up for provisions you'll find an apple and some bait in my coat pocket and other directions for a comfortable voyage till his voice was lost in the distance as a stronger current bore her swiftly away and the big waves began to tumble and splash at first Jill had laughed at her's efforts to keep up her spirits but when the boat floated round a point of rock that shut in the cove she felt all alone and sat quite still wondering what would become of her she turned her back to the sea and looked at the dear safe land which never had seemed so green and beautiful before up on the hill wrestled the wood through which the happy party were wandering to the chasm on the rock she still saw the crowd all busy with their own affairs unconscious of her danger here and there artists were sketching in picturesque spots and in one place an old gentleman sat fishing peacefully Jill called and waved her handkerchief but he never looked up and an ugly little dog barked at her in what seemed to her a most cruel way nobody sees or hears or cares and those horrid boys will never catch up she cried in despair as the boat began to rock more and more and allowed swash of water dashing in and out of the chasm drew nearer and nearer holding on now with both hands she turned and looked straight before her pale and shivering while her eyes tried to see some sign of hope among the steep cliffs that rose up on the left no one was there though usually at this hour they were full of visitors and it was time for the walkers to have arrived I wonder if Gertie and Mamie will be sorry if I'm drowned thought Jill remembering the poor girl who had been lost in the chasm not long ago her lovely fancy pictured the grief of her friends at her loss but that did not help her comfort her now and as her anxious gaze wandered along the shore she said a loud and oppressive tone perhaps I shall be wrecked on Norman's woe and somebody will make poetry about me it will be pretty to read but I don't want to die that way oh why did I come why didn't I stay safe and comfortable in my own boat at the thought a sob rose and poor Jill later head down to her lap to cry with all her heart feeling very helpless small and forsaken alone there on the great sea in the midst of her tears came the thought when people are in danger they ask God to save them slipping down upon her knees she said her prayer as she had never said it before for when human help seems gone we turn to him as naturally as lost children cry to their father and feel sure that he will hear and answer them after that she felt better and wiped away the drops that blinded her to look out again like a shipwreck mariner watching for a sail and there it was close by coming swiftly on a man behind it a sturdy brown fisher busy with his lobster pots and quite unconscious how like an angel he looked to the helpless little girl in the rudderless boat hi, hi oh please do stop and get me I'm lost, no oars nobody to fix the sail oh, oh please come screamed Jill waving her hat frantically as the other boat skinned by and stared at her as if she really was a mermaid with a fishy tail keep still I'll come about and fetch you he called out and Jill obeyed sitting like a little image of faith till with a good deal of shifting and flapping of the sail the other boat came alongside and took her in tow a few words told the story and in five minutes she was sitting snugly tucked up watching an unpleasant mass of lobsters flap about dangerously near her toes while the boat bounded over the waves with a delightful motion and every instant brought her nearer home she did not say much but felt a good deal and when they met two boats coming to meet her man by very anxious crews of men and boys she was so pale and quiet that Jack was quite bowed down with remorse and Frank nearly pitched the bicycle boy overboard when he gaily asked Jill how she had left her friends in England there was great rejoicing over her for the people on the rocks had heard of her loss and ran about like ants when their hill is disturbed of course half a dozen amiable souls posted off to the willows to tell the family that the little girl was drowned so that when the rescuers appeared quite a crowd was assembled on the beach to welcome her but Jill felt so used up with her own share of the excitement that she was glad to be carried to the house by Frank and Jack and laid upon her bed where Mrs. Hammond soon restored her with sugar coated pills and words even sweeter and more soothing other people busyed with their own pleasures forgot all about it by the next day but Jill remembered that hour long afterward she went to sleep for her dreams were troubled and she often started up imploring someone to save her then she would recall the moment when feeling most helpless she had asked for help and it had come as quickly as if that tearful little cry had been heard and answered though her voice had been drowned by the dash of the waves that seemed ready to devour her this made a deep impression on her and a sense of childlike faith in the father of all began to grow up within her for in that lonely voyage short as it was she had found a very precious treasure to keep forever to lean on and to love during the longer voyage which all must take before we reach our home End of Chapter 21 Chapter 22 of Jack and Jill This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Mary Anderson Jack and Jill by Louisa May Alcott Chapter 22 A Happy Day Oh dear, only a week more and then we must go back Don't you hate the thoughts of it said Jack as he was giving Jill her early walk on the beach one August morning Yes it will be dreadful to leave Gertie and Mamie and all the nice people but I'm so much better I won't have to be shut up again even if I don't go to school How I longed to see Mary and Molly dear things if it wasn't for them I should hate going home more than you do answered Jill stepping along quite briskly and finding it very hard to resist breaking into a skip or run she felt so well and gay wish they could be here today to see the fun said Jack for it was the anniversary of the founding of the place and the people celebrated it by all sorts of festivity I did want to ask Molly but your mother is so good to me I couldn't find courage to do it Mamie told me not to ask for a thing and I'm sure I don't get a chance I feel just as if I was your truly born sister Jack that's alright I'm glad you do answered Jack comfortably though his mind seemed a little absent and his eyes twinkled when she spoke of Molly now you sit in the cubby house and keep quiet till the boat comes in then the fun will begin and you must be fresh and ready to enjoy it don't run off now I shall want to know where to find you by and by no more running off thank you I'll stay here till you come and finish this box for Molly she has a birthday this week and I've written to ask what day so I can send it right up and surprise her Jack's eyes twinkled more than ever as he helped Jill settle herself in the boat and then with a whoop he tore over the beach as if practicing for the race which was to come off in the afternoon Jill was so busy with her work that time went quickly and the early boat came in just as the last pink shell was stuck in its place putting the box in the sun to dry she leaned out of her nook to watch the gay party's land and go streaming up the pier along the road that went behind the bank that sheltered her flocks of children were running about on the sand and presently strangers appeared eager to see and enjoy all the delights of this gala day there's a fat little boy who looks ever so much like boo said Jill to herself watching the people and hoping they would not come and find her since she had promised to stay till Jack returned the fat little boy was staring about him in a blissful sort of maze holding a wooden shovel in one hand and the skirts of a young girl with the other her back was turned to Jill but something in the long brown braid by a blue bow hanging down her back looked very familiar to Jill so did the grey suit and the Japanese umbrella but the hat was strange and while she was thinking how natural the boots looked the girl turned round why how much she looks like Molly it can't be yes it might I do believe it is cried Jill starting up and hardly daring to trust her own eyes as she came out of her nest and showed herself there could be no doubt about the other girl for she gave one shout and came racing over the beach with both arms out while her hat blew off unheeded and the gay umbrella flew away to the great delight of all the people except boo who was upset by his sister's impetuous rush and lay upon his back howling Molly did not do all the running though and Jill got her wish for never stopping to think of herself she was off at once and met her friend halfway with an answering cry it was a pretty sight to see them run into one another's arms and hug and kiss and talk and skip in such a state of girlish joy they never cared who saw or laughed at their innocent raptures you darling dear where did you come from cried Jill holding Molly by both shoulders and shaking her little to be sure she was real Mrs. Minow sent for us to spend a week you look so well I can't believe my eyes answered Molly patting Jill's cheeks and kissing them over and over as if to make sure the bright color would not come off a week how splendid oh I've such heaps to tell and show you come right over to my cubby and see how lovely it is said Jill forgetting everybody else in her delight at getting Molly I must get poor boo and my hat and umbrella I left them all behind me when I saw you laughed Molly looking back but Mrs. Minow and Jack had consoled boo and collected the scattered property so the girls went on arm in arm and had a fine time before anyone had the heart to disturb them Molly was charmed with the boat and Jill very glad the box was done in season both had so much to tell and hear and plan that they would have sat there forever if bathing time had not come and the beach suddenly looked like a bed of red and yellow tulips for everyone took a dip and the strangers added much to the fun Molly could swim like a duck and quite covered herself with glory here Jack undertook to teach boo who was a promising pupil being so plump that he could not sink if he tried Jill was soon through and lay on the sand enjoying the antics of the bathers till she was so faint with laughter she was glad to hear the dinner horn and do the honors of the willows to Molly whose room was next hers boat races came first in the afternoon and the girls watched them sitting luxuriously in the nest with the ladies and children close by the sailing matches were very pretty to see but Molly and Jill were more interested in the rowing for Frank and the bicycle boy pulled one boat and the friends felt that this one must win it did though the race was not very exciting nor the prize of great worth but the boys and girls were satisfied and Jack was much exalted for he always told Frank he could do great things if he would only drop books and go in on his muscle foot races followed and burning to distinguish himself also Jack insisted on trying though his mother warned him that the weak leg might be harmed and he had his own doubts about it as he was all out of practice however he took his place with a handkerchief tied round his head red shirt and stockings and his sleeves rolled up as if he meant business Jill and Molly could not sit still during this race and stood on the bank quite trembling with excitement as the half dozen runners stood in a line at the starting post waiting for the word go! off they went at last over the smooth beach to the pole with the flag at the further end and everyone watched them with mingled interest in merriment they were a drole set and the running knot at all scientific with most of them one young fisherman with big boots over his trousers started off at a great pace pounding along in the most dogged way while a little chap in a tight bathing suit with very thin legs skimmed by him looking so like a sandpiper it was impossible to help laughing at both Jack's former training stood him on a good steed now for he went to work in professional style and kept a steady trot till the flagpole had been passed then he put on his speed and shot ahead of all the rest several of whom broke down and gave up but Cox and Bacon held on gallantly and soon it was evident that the sturdy legs and the knickerbockers were gaining fast for Jack gave his ankle an ugly wrench on a round pebble he did his best however and quite a breeze of enthusiasm stirred the spectators as the three boys came down the course like meddlesome horses panting, pale, or purple but each bound to win at any cost now Bacon go it Mino hit him up Cox Jack's ahead no he isn't here they come Bacon's done it shouted the other boys and they were right Bacon had one for the gray legs came in just half a yard ahead of the red ones and Mino tumbled into his brother's arms with hardly breath enough left to gasp out good humoredly alright I'm glad he beat then the victor was congratulated and born off by his friends to refresh himself while the lookers on scattered to see a game of tennis and the shooting of the archery club up at the hotel Jack was soon rested and making light of his defeat insisted on taking the girls to see the fun so they drove up in the old omnibus and enjoyed the pretty sight very much for the young ladies were in uniform and the broad green ribbons over the white dresses the gay quivers long bows and big targets made a lively scene the shooting was good a handsome damsel got the prize of a dozen arrows and everyone clapped in the most enthusiastic manner Molly and Jill did not care about tennis so they went home to rest and dress for the evening because to their minds the dancing the illumination and the fireworks were the best fun of all Jill's white bunting with cherry ribbons was very becoming and the lively feet in the new slippers padded the floor impatiently as the sound of dance music came down to the willows after tea and the other girls waltzed on the wide piazza because they could not keep still no dancing for me but Molly must have a good time you'll see that she does won't you boys said Jill who knew that her share of the fun was playing on a settee and watching the rest enjoy her favorite pastime Frank and Jack promised and kept their word handsomely for there was plenty of room in the great dancing hall at the hotel and the band in the pavilion played such inspiring music that as the bicycle boy said everyone who had a leg couldn't help shaking it Molly was twirled about to her heart's content that she could never fly for all the lads liked her and she kept running up to tell Jill the funny things they said and did as night darkened from all the houses in the valley on the cliffs and along the shore light shone and sparkled for everyone decorated with gay lanterns and several yachts in the bay strung colored lamps about the little vessels making a pretty picture on the quiet sea Jill thought she had never seen anything so like Fairyland and felt very like one in a dream as she drove slowly up and down with Mamie, Gertie, Molly and Mrs. Cox in the carriage so that she might see it all without too much fatigue it was very lovely and when rockets begin to whiz filling the air with golden rain a shower of colored stars fiery dragons or glittering wheels the girls could only shriek with the light and beg to stay a little longer each time the prudent lady proposed going home it had to be at last but Molly and Jill comforted themselves by a long talk in bed for it was impossible to sleep with glares of light coming every few minutes flocks of people talking and tramping by in the road and bursts of music floating down to them as the older but not wiser revelers kept up the merriment till a late hour they dropped off at last but Jill had the nightmare and Molly was waked up by violent jerking of her braid as Jill tried to tow her along dreaming she was a boat they were too sleepy to laugh much then but next morning they made Mary over it and went to breakfast with such happy faces that all the folks pronounce Jill's friend a most delightful girl what a good time Molly did have that week other people were going to leave also and therefore much picnicking boating and driving was crowded in the last days clam bakes on the shore charades in the studio sewing parties at the boat evening frolics in the big dining room farewell calls gifts and invitations all sorts of plans for next summer and vows of eternal friendship exchanged between people who would soon forget each other it was very pleasant till poor Boo innocently added to the excitement by poisoning a few of his neighbors with a bad lobster the ambitious little soul pine to catch one of these mysterious but lovely red creatures and spent days fishing on the beach investigating holes in corners and tagging after the old man who supplied the house one day after a high wind he found several lobs washed up on the beach and though disappointed at their color he picked out a big one and set off to show his prize to Molly halfway home he met the old man on his way with a basket of fish and being tired of lugging his contribution with the others meaning to explain later no one saw him do it as the old man was busy with his pipe and Boo ran back to get more dear lobs leaving his treasure to go into the kettle and appear at supper by which time he had forgotten all about it fortunately none of the children ate any but several older people were made ill and quite a panic prevailed that night as one after the other called up the doctor who was boarding close by and good Mrs. Gray the hostess ran about with hot flannels bottles of medicine and distracted messages from room to room all were comfortable by morning but the friends of the sufferers lay in wait for the old fisherman and gave him a good scolding for his carelessness the poor man was protesting his innocence when Boo, who was passing by looked into the basket and asked what had become of his lob a few questions brought the truth to light and a general laugh put everyone in good humor when poor Boo mildly said by way of explanation I thought I was helping Mrs. Gray and did want to see the dream lob come out all red when she boiled him but I forgot and I don't think I'll ever find such a nice big one anymore for our sakes I hope you won't my dear said Mrs. Hammond who had been nursing one of the sufferers it's lucky we are going home tomorrow or that child would be the death of himself and everybody else he is perfectly crazy about fish and I've pulled him out of that old lobster pot on the beach a dozen times grown molly much afflicted by the mishaps of her young charge there was a great breaking up next day and the old omnibus went off to the station with Bacon hanging on behind the bicycle boy and his iron whirly gig atop and heads popping out of all the windows for last goodbyes our party and the Hammond's were going by boat and were all ready to start for the pier when Boo and little Harry were missing molly the maid and both boys ran different ways to find them and all sorts of dreadful suggestions were being made when shouts of laughter were heard from the beach and the truans appeared proudly dragging in Harry's little wagon a dead devil fish as the natives called that ugly thing which looked like a magnified tadpole all head and no body we've dot him called the innocents tugging up their prize with such solemn satisfaction it was impossible to help laughing I always wanted to touch a whale and this is a baby one I think a boy said when they wanted to die they come on the sand and did it and we saw this one go dead just now ain't he pretty as Boo displaying the immense mouth with fond pride while his friend flapped the tail what are you going to do with him said Mrs Hammond regarding her infant as if she often asked herself the same question about her boy whap him up in a paper and take him home to pay with answered Harry with such confidence in his big blue eyes that it was very hard to disappoint his hopes and tell him the treasure must be left behind whales of despair burst from both children as the hard hearted boys tipped out the little whale and hustled the indignant fisherman on board the boat which had been whistling for them impatiently Boo recovered his spirits first and gulping down a sob that nearly shook his hat off consoled his companion in affliction and convulsed his friends by taking from his pocket several little crabs the remains of a jellyfish and such a collection of pebbles that Frank understood why he found the fat boy such a burden when he shouldered him kicking and howling in the late run to the boat these delicate toys healed the wounds of Boo and Harry and they soon were happily walking the little crabs about inside a stone wall of their own building while the others rested after their exertions and laid plans for coming to the willows another year as people usually did who had once tasted the wholesome delights and cordial hospitality of this charming place End of Chapter 22 Chapter 23 of Jack and Jill This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Mary Anderson Jack and Jill by Louisa May Alcott Chapter 23 Cattle Show The children were not the only ones who had learned something at Peppley Beach Mrs. Minow had talked a good deal with some very superior persons and received light upon various subjects which had much interested or perplexed her While the ladies worked or walked together they naturally spoke oftenest and most earnestly about their children and each contributed her experience Mrs. Hammond who had been a physician for many years was wise in the care of healthy little bodies and the care of sick ones Mrs. Channing who had read, traveled and observed much in the cause of education had many useful hints about the training of young minds and hearts Several teachers reported their trials and all the mothers were eager to know how to bring up their boys and girls to be healthy, happy, useful men and women As young people do not care for such discussions we will not describe them but as the impression they made upon one of the mamas affected our heroine heroine we must mention the changes which took place in their life when they all got home again School begins to-morrow Oh dear! sighed Jack as he looked up his books in the bird room a day or two after their return Don't you want to go? I long to but don't believe I shall I saw our mothers talking to the doctor last night but I haven't dared to ask what they decided said Jill affectionately eyeing the long unused books in her little library I've had such a jolly good time that I hate to be shut up all day worse than ever Don't you Frank? asked Jack with a vengeful slap at the arithmetic which was the torment of his life Well I confess I don't hanker for school as much as I expected I'd rather take a spin on the old bicycle our roads are so good it is a great temptation to hire a machine and astonish the natives that's what comes of idleness so brace up my boy and go to work for vacation is over answered Frank gravely regarding the tall pile of books before him of trying to welcome his old friends or tyrants rather for they ruled him with a rod of iron when he once gave himself up to them ah but vacation is not over my dear said Mrs. Minot hearing the last words as she came in prepared to surprise her family glad of it how much longer is it to be asked Jack hoping for a week at least two or three years for some of you what? cried all three in utter astonishment as they stared at mama who could not help smiling though she was very much an earnest for the next two or three years I intend to cultivate my boys bodies and let their minds rest a good deal from books at least there is plenty to learn outside of school houses and I don't mean to shut you up just when you most need all the air and exercise you can get good health good principles and a good education are the three blessings I ask for you and I'm going to make sure of the first as a firm foundation for the other two but mother what becomes of college asked Frank rather disturbed at this change of base put it off for a year and see if you are not better fitted for it then than now but I am already fitted I've worked like a tiger all this year and I'm sure I shall pass ready in one way but not in another that hard work is no preparation for four years of still harder study it has cost you these round shoulders many a headache and consumed hours when you had far better have been on the river or in the fields I cannot have you break down as so many boys do or pull through at the cost of ill health afterward 18 is young enough to begin the steady grind if you have a strong constitution to keep pace with the eager mind 16 is too young to send even my good boy out into the world just when he most needs his mother's care to help him be the man she hopes to see him Mrs. Minot laid her hand on his shoulder as she spoke looking so fond and proud that it was impossible to rebel though some of his most cherished plans were spoiled other fellows go at my age and I was rather pleased to be ready at 16 he began but she added quickly they go but how do they come out many lose health of body and many what is more precious still moral strength because too young and ignorant to withstand temptation of all sorts the best part of education does not come from books and the good principles I value more than either of the other things are to be carefully watched over till firmly fixed then you may face the world and come to no real harm trust me dear I do it for your sake so bear the disappointment bravely and in the end I think you will say I'll do my best but I don't see what is to become of us if we don't go to school you will get tired of it first said Frank trying to set a good example to the others who were looking much impressed and interested no danger of that for I never sent my children to school to get rid of them and now that they are old enough to be companions I want them at home more than ever there are to be some lessons however for busy minds must be fed but not crammed so you boys will go and recite at certain hours such things as seem most important but there is to be no studying at night no shutting up all the best hours of the day no hurry and fret of getting on fast or skimming over the surface of many studies without learning any thoroughly so I say Jack pleased with the new idea for he never did love books I do hate to be driven so I don't half understand because there is no time to have things explained school is good fun as far as play goes but I don't see the sense of making a fellow learn 80 questions in geography one day and forget them the next what is to become of me please ask Jill Meekley you and Molly are to have lessons here I was a teacher when I was young you know and liked it so I shall be a school ma'am and leave my housekeeping in better hands than mine I always thought that mothers should teach their girls during these years and vary their studies to suit the growing creatures as only mothers can that will be splendid well Molly's father let her come cried Jill feeling quite reconciled to staying at home if her friend was to be with her he likes the plan very much for Molly is growing fast and needs a sort of care that Miss Daws cannot give her I'm not a hard mistress and I hope you will find my school a pleasant one I know I shall and I'm not disappointed because I was pretty sure I couldn't go to the old school again when I heard the doctors say I must be very careful for a long time I thought he meant months but if it must be years I can bear it for I've been happy this last one though I was sick said Jill glad to show that it had not been wasted time by being cheerful and patient now that's my good girl and Mrs. Minot stroke the curly black head as if it was her own little daughters you have done so well I want you to go on improving for care now will save you pain and disappointment by and by you all have got a capital start during these six weeks so it is a good time to begin my experiment if it does not work well we will go back to school and college next spring hurrah for mama and the long vacation cried Jack catching up two big books and whirling them round like clubs in order at once now I shall have time to go to the gymnasium and straighten out my back said Frank who was growing so tall he needed more breadth to make his height symmetrical and to ride horseback I'm going to hire old Jane and get out the little faton so we can all enjoy the fine weather while it lasts Molly and I can drive Jill and you can take turns in the saddle all in boating exercise of all sorts is one of the lessons we are to learn said Mrs. Minow suggesting all the pleasant things she could to sweeten the pill for her pupils two of whom who did love their books not being old enough to know that even an excellent thing may be overdone won't that be gay I'll get down the saddle today so we can begin right off Lem rides and we can go together Hope old Jane will like it as well as I shall said Jack who had found a new friend in a pleasant lad lately come to town you must see that she does for you boys are to take care of her we will put the barn in order and you can decide which shall be hostler and which gardener for I don't intend to hire labor on the place anymore our estate is not a large one and it will be excellent work for you my men all right I'll see to Jane I love horses said Jack well pleased with the prospect my horse won't need much care I prefer a bicycle to a beast so I'll get in the squashes pick the apples and cover the strawberry bed when it is time added Frank who had enjoyed the free life at Pebble Beach so much that he was willing to prolong it you may put me in a hencoupe and keep me there a year if you like I won't fret for I'm sure you know what is best for me said Jill Gailey as she looked up at the good friend who had done so much for her I'm not sure that I won't put you in a pretty cage and send you to cattle show as a sample of what we can do in the way of taming a wild bird till it is as nearly as meek as a dove answered Mrs. Minot the amyability ever flock I don't see why there should not be an exhibition of children and prizes for the good and pretty ones as well as for the fat pigs fine horses or handsome fruit and flowers I don't mean a baby show but boys and girls so people can see what the prospect is of a good crop for the next generation said Frank glancing toward the tower of the building where the yearly agricultural affair was going to be held years ago there was a pretty custom here of collecting all the schools together in the spring and having a festival at the town hall each school showed its best pupils and the parents looked on at the blooming flower show it was a pity it was ever given up for the schools have never been so good as then nor they interest in them so great and Mrs. Minot wondered why farmers seem to care more for their cattle and crops than for their children willingly spending large sums on big barns and costly experiments while the school houses are shabby and inconvenient and the cheapest teachers preferred Ralph is going to send my bust he asked if he might and mothers said yes Mr. German thinks it very good and I hope other people will said Jill a little plaster head that smiled down from its bracket with her own merry look I could send my model it is nearly done Ralph told me it was a clever piece of work and he knows added Frank quite taken with the idea of exhibiting his skill in mechanics and I could send my star bed quilt they always have things of that kind at cattle show and Jill began to rummage about the pride of her heart burning to display it to an admiring world I haven't got anything can't sew rags together or make baby engines and I have no livestock yes I have too there's old bun I'll send him for the fun of it he really is a curiosity for he is the biggest one I ever saw and hopping into the lime has made his fur such a queer color he looks like a new sort of rabbit I'll catch and shut him up before he gets wild again an off-rush Jack to lure unsuspecting old bun who had grown tame during their absence into the cage which he detested they all laughed at his ardor but the fancy pleased them and as Mama saw no reason why their little works of art should not be sent Frank fell to work on his model and Jill resolved to finish her quilt at once while Mrs. Minow went off to see Mr. Acton about the hours and studies for the boys in a week or two the young people were almost resigned to the loss of school for they found themselves delightfully fresh for the few lessons they did have and not weary of play since it took many useful forms old Jane not only carried them all to ride Frank plenty of work keeping her premises in nice order Frank mourned privately over the delay of college but found a solace in his worldly gig and the gymnasium where he set himself to developing a chest to match the big head above which had no longer ached with eight or ten hours of study harvesting beans and raking up leaves seemed to have a soothing effect upon his nerves for now he fell asleep at once instead of thumbing his pillow with vexation because his brain would go on working at difficult problems and passages when he wanted it to stop Jill and Molly drove away in the little fate in every fair morning over the sunny hills and through the changing woods filling their hands with asters and goldenrod their lungs with the pure invigorating air and their heads with all manner of sweet and happy fancies and feelings born of the wholesome influences about them people shook their heads and said it was wasting time but the rosy-faced girls were content to trust those wisers of themselves and found their new school very pleasant they read aloud a good deal rapidly acquiring one of the rarest and most beautiful accomplishments for they could stop and ask questions as they went along so that they understood what they read which is half the secret a thousand things came up as they sewed together in the afternoon and the eager minds received much general information in an easy and well-ordered way physiology was one of the favorite studies and Mrs. Hammond often came in to give them a little lecture teaching them to understand the wonders of their own systems and how to keep them in order a lesson of far more importance than Greek or Latin for girls are the future mothers nurses, teachers of the race and should feel how much depends on them Mary could not resist the attractions of the friendly circle and soon persuaded her mother to let her do as they did so she got more exercise and less study which was just what the delicate girl needed the first of the new ideas seemed to prosper but the second in joke was carried out in earnest for the other young people were seized with a strong desire to send something to the fair in fact all sorts of queer articles were proposed and much fun prevailed especially among the boys who ransacked their gardens for mammoth vegetables sighed for five-legged calves blue roses or any other natural curiosity by means of which Ralph was the only one who had anything really worth sending for though Frank's model seemed quite perfect it obstinately refused to go and at the last moment blew up with a report like a pop gun so it was laid away for repairs and its disappointed maker devoted his energies to helping Jack keep Bunn in order for that indomitable animal got out of every prison they put him in and led Jack a dreadful life during that last week at all hours of the day and night that distracted boy would start up crying there he is again and dart out to give chase and capture the villain now grown too fat to run as he once did the very night before the fair Frank was wakened by a chilly draft and getting up to see where it came from found Jack's door open and bed empty while the vision of a white ghost flitting about the garden suggested a midnight rush after old Bunn Frank watched laughingly till poor Jack came toward the house with the gentleman in grey kicking lustily in his arms and then whispered in a sepical tone put him in the old refrigerator he can't get out of that blessing him for the suggestion the exhausted hunters shut up his victim in the new cell and found it a safe one for Bunn could not burrow through a sheet of zinc or climb up the smooth walls Jill's quilt was a very elaborate piece of work being bright blue with little white stars all over it this she finished nicely and felt sure no patient old lady could outdo it Mary decided to send butter for she had been helping her mother in the dairy that summer and rather liked the light part of the labour she knew it would please her very much she chose that instead of wildflowers so she practiced molding the yellow pats into pretty shapes that it might please both eye and taste Molly declared that she would have a little pen and put boo in it as the prize fat boy a threat which so alarmed the innocent that he ran away and was found two or three miles from home asleep under the wall with two seed cakes and a pair of socks done up in a bundle being with difficulty convinced that it was a joke he consented to return to his family but was evidently suspicious to Molly decided to send her cats and set about preparing them for exhibition the minnows deserted bunny house was rather large but as cats cannot be packed as closely as much enduring sheep Molly borrowed this desirable family mansion and put her darlings into it where they soon settled down and appeared to enjoy their new residence it had been scrubbed up and painted red cushions and plates put in and two American flags adorned the roof being barred all round a fine view of the happy family could be had now twelve in number as molasses had lately added three white kits to the varied collection the girls thought this would be the most interesting spectacle of all and griff proposed to give some of the cats extra tails to increase their charms especially poor mortification who would appreciate the honor of two after having none for so long but Molly declined and griff looked about him for some attractive animal to exhibit so that he too might go in free and come to honor perhaps a young lady in the town owned a donkey a small gray beast who insisted on tripping along the sidewalks and bumping her rider against the walls as she paused to browse at her own sweet will regardless of blows or cries till ready to move on expressing great admiration for this rare animal griff obtained leave to display the charms of Graciosa at the fair little did she guess the dark designs entertained against her dignity and happily she was not as sensitive to ridicule as a less humble-minded animal so she went willingly with her new friend and enjoyed the combing and trimming up which she received at his hands while he prepared for the great occasion when the morning of September 28th arrived the town was all a stir and the fairground a lively scene the air was full of lowing of cattle the tramp of horses squealing of indignant pigs and clatter of tongues as people and animals streamed in at the great fair and found their proper places our young folk were in a high state of excitement as they rumbled away with their treasures in a hay cart the bunny house might have been a cage of tigers so rampant were the cats at this new move old bun in a small box brooded over the insult of the refrigerator and looked as fierce as a rabbit could Gus had a coop of rare fowls who clicked wildly all the way while Ralph with the bust in his arms stood up in front and Jill and Molly bore the precious bed quilt as they sat behind these objects of interest were soon arranged and the girls went to admire Barry's golden butter cups among the green leaves under which lay the ice that kept the pretty flowers fresh the boys were down below where the cackling was very loud but not loud enough to do drown out the sonorous bray which suddenly startled them as much as it did the horses outside a shout of laughter followed and away went the lads to see what the fun was while the girls ran out on the balcony as someone said it's that rogue of a griff with some new joke it certainly was and to judge from the peels of merriment the joke was a good one in at the gate came a two-headed donkey ridden by griff in great spirits at his success for the gatekeeper laughed so he never thought to ask for toll a train of boys followed him across the ground lost in admiration of the animal and the cleverness of her rider among the strange properties of the dramatic club was the old ass's head once used in some tableau from Midsummer's Night Dream this griff had mended up and fastened by means of straps and a collar to pour Graciosa's neck hiding his work with a red cloth over her back one eye was gone but the other still opened and shut and the long ears wagged by means of strings which he slightly managed with the bridle so the artificial head looked almost as natural as the real one the funniest thing of all was the innocent air of Graciosa and the mildly inquiring expression with which she now and then turned to look at or smell of the new ornament as if she recognized a friend's face yet was perplexed by its want of animation she vented her feelings in a bray which griff imitated convulsing all the hearers by the sound as well as by the wink the one I gave and the droll waggle of one erect ear while the other pointed straight forward the girls laughed so at the ridiculous sight that they nearly fell over the railing and the boys were in ecstasies especially when griff emboldened by his success trotted briskly round the race course followed by the cheers of the crowd excited by the noise Graciosa did her best till the false head loosened by the rapid motion slipped round under her nose causing her to stop so suddenly she flew off alighting on his own head with a violence which would have killed any other boy sobered by his downfall he declined to mount again but led his steed to repose in a shed while he rejoined his friends who were waiting impatiently to congratulate him on his latest and best prank the committee went their rounds soon after and when the doors were again opened everyone hurried to see if their articles had received a premium a card lay on the butter-cups and Mrs. Grant was full of pride because her butter always took a prize and this proved that Mary was walking in her mother's steps in this direction at least another card swung from the blue quilt for the kindly judges knew who made it and were glad to please the little girl though several others as curious but not so pretty hung nearby the cats were admired but as they were not among the animals usually exhibited there was no prize awarded Gus hoped his hands would get one but somebody else outdid him to the great indignation of Laura and Lottie who had fed the white bitties faithfully for months Jack was sure his rabbit was the biggest there and went eagerly to look for his premium but neither card nor bun were to be seen for the old rascal had escaped for the last time and was never seen again which was a great comfort to Jack who was heartily tired of him Ralph's bust was the best of all for not only did it get a prize and was much admired but a lady who found Jill and Mary rejoicing over it was so pleased with the truth and grace of the little head that she asked about the artist and whether he would do one of her own child who was so delicate that she feared he might not live long Mary gladly told the story of her ambitious friend and went to find him that he might secure the order while she was gone Jill took up this tale gratefully telling how kind he had been to her how patiently he worked and waited and how much he longed to go abroad fortunately the lady was rich and generous as well as fond of art and being pleased with the bust and interested in the young sculptor gave him the order when he came and filled his soul with joy by adding that if it suited her when done it should be put into marble she lived in the city and Ralph soon arranged his work so that he could give up his noon hour and go to model the child for every penny he could earn or save now was very precious as he still hoped to go abroad the girls were so delighted with this good fortune that they did not stay for the races but went home to tell the happy news leaving the boys to care for the cats and enjoy the various matches to come off that day I'm so glad I tried to look pleasant while I was lying on the board while Ralph did my head for the pleasantness got into the clay face and that made the lady like it said Jill as she lay resting on the sofa I always thought it was a dear bright little face but now I love and admire more than ever cried Mary kissing it gratefully as she remembered the help and pleasure it had given Ralph End of Chapter 23


Good morning, John. So I want to talk about something I've never talked about on the channel before and it's kind of a biggie So I went ahead and asked on the community tab if it was okay if I did an extra long video That's more than four minutes and the resounding answer was yes back in 2003 or 2004 I started to feel a lot of pain in my intestinal area And it just kept getting worse and there are other bad symptoms. The pain for me was the big one It was a lot. Some days it was like, ah, that's a bad like sort of You know intestinal cramp and some days it was like there's a cactus in me in me It kind of ramped up slowly and in the way of a slow ramp I kind of maybe put off going to the doctor a little too long But I finally did I went to the doctor and they had no idea what was wrong with me It could have been a bacterial overgrowth or maybe an allergy to something maybe an autoimmune disorder Maybe colon cancer those things range really widely in severity Some can be taken care of in a month and you never have to think about it again Some are with you forever some you might die of and this was a really bad time Not just because of the uncertainty, but also because I was experiencing a lot of bad symptoms losing weight I knew there was something serious wrong during the months. I was undiagnosed I spent a lot of time feeling like I was probably just fine And it was going to get better on its own and I spent a lot of time feeling like this was very very bad And then eventually I got my first colonoscopy and I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis Which is an autoimmune disorder where your Immune cells attack the lining of your colon your large intestine, which is the colon Those are the same thing. It then forms ulcers, which are painful and it does not do its job Well, which is to reabsorb water so you go to the bathroom a lot sometimes when you least expect it That's pretty bad. It makes it hard to be a normal person Also, it really dramatically increases your chances of getting colon cancer, which is also bad The thing is like this diagnosis didn't say like, okay, now we know what your future looks like It was just one piece of information and ulcerative colitis Expresses very different and different people different drugs work more or less well for different people Some people have to have their colons removed pretty immediately Some people can live their whole lives with their colon still inside of their body So basically I had this one new piece of information, but it opened up all of these other questions So there wasn't anything certain Except I knew one thing which is that my future definitely was not going to be what I had imagined it would be When I was a kid, I was uh, both active and not particularly coordinated So I broke a number of bones and I got to know the feeling Of what it's like when you break a bone first There's the actual feeling which sometimes you're not sure but sometimes you are and then there's another feeling There's a sudden realization, especially after the third or fourth broken bone when you've been through this before that Your life is not going to be the same anymore and there is no way to Reacquire that sameness. This is a very particular feeling and I had it first with Broken bones, but I have had it a lot since it might be having a relationship fall apart Or that moment right before you hit the car that's in front of you Or maybe it's a diagnosis for you or for a loved one It's such a specific feeling this moment where you Suddenly realize that you don't know what the future holds anymore and the story You've been quietly silently telling yourself about what the future is going to be like that story just Falls apart It's not there anymore. It doesn't get replaced with something. It's just gone I wanted to know what this feeling is called because it seems so specific that there should be a name for it I've experienced it a bunch of times. I could not find a word for this in English I wrote to susie dent who is my favorite Uh game show linguist and she actually wrote me back on twitter and here's what she said I've been wondering similar for days. I keep returning to withering a rushing or raging that you're powerless to stop Emily bronte described it as an atmospheric tumult. This isn't quite it But it's like close enough to it that maybe we can make it it because there isn't a word for it I'm also open to other suggestions in the comments. I've described it as best I can But I would love for there to be a word one of the amazing things about a withering Is that the these moments when you realize that like your expectations aren't going to be met are often the first time you realize You even had these expectations Like I didn't realize that I had an expectation that I would always be able to eat popcorn or that I would always Have a colon inside of me now Of course many years later the reality that I might someday have to have my colon removed Is a normal every day thought to me. It was not then the expectation shifted and I have a new normal But that did not happen Quickly when I first was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis. I didn't really know anything about it And we also didn't know like me and my doctor didn't know how I was going to respond to medications and First we start out with the stuff that's been around the longest that is least likely to work But has the fewest side effects and I actually responded really well to it I started to gain weight. I wasn't in as much pain anymore I was close to or all the way into what we call remission And then when you are out of remission and ulcerative colitis speak you're having a flare up But anyway, this was my first time into remission after having my initial flare and I started to think Okay, maybe I don't actually have ulcerative colitis like I feel kind of fine now Maybe the doctor was wrong about this Maybe I don't have to reshape my entire Imagining of what my life is going to be like. I didn't want the new reality to be real So I was looking for reasons why it wasn't right So I went off my medicine and I immediately went right into a flare that was worse than it ever had been And it took me a really long time to get that back under control again Now this process of like taking the disease really seriously and like Understanding that this is something that I'm gonna have to live with and that I have a new normal now And then reverting to this You know gut level hope That maybe it isn't real that kept going on for like a surprisingly long time I made mistakes along the way. I wasn't always careful about my health Sometimes I ate things that I knew might give me a flare up and sometimes they did and now More than 15 years later. I I have been popcorn abstinent for over a decade And there are things about my life that are different. I structure my life around my disease a little bit And I know that there's a possibility that like things are going to get much worse And I'm I try to be clear about that with the people in my life And I can expect pain and sometimes it's going to be manageable and sometimes it's not But what's gone is the withering that that emptiness ahead That my previous conception of the future used to inhabit and all of the Irrationality and the chaos that comes along with not having anything in that space anymore I've had this disease for over 15 years and now I know what I'm doing with it I Understand my life better. I it's part of my imagining of my future the faster you can get to that point It the better but but like you can't just do it It can't just happen first because it takes a long time to just understand what the future is going to be Like you don't you actually don't know if somebody could tell you that that'd be one thing But they can't because it's different for different people and we don't actually know but second because even if somebody could tell you What normal is like now you wouldn't believe them I I mean, I know that I couldn't your mind's going to be searching for ways to make the story make sense So it's going to be like swinging around wildly from one extreme to the other Trying to find like the the place that that actually meshes with like observed reality Some days your mind is going to find ways to believe that everything is actually the same and that this whole thing Is a lie other days you're going to swing exactly in the other direction and you're going to be overwhelmed With frustration and fear and anger and that swinging back and forth isn't like a symptom It's a strategy. This is how we find where normal is It's like if the ground suddenly started moving underneath you like you'd have to Balance and like move from one direction to the other to find Find some stability. You might even need to like drop to one knee, right? But then when the ground stops moving you'll rise but this process is stressful It's cognitively taxing. You might be more susceptible to addiction or to negative or unproductive thoughts I know that is the case for me, but eventually there is a stability there There is a new version of reality that you can place yourself into it It just takes time to rebuild that. John, if you couldn't tell I'm talking about this today and I've been thinking about it a lot because It feels like the process of getting diagnosed and coming to terms with a chronic illness feels somewhat similar to The what's happening right now just you know gestures broadly like first we knew something was wrong But we didn't know how serious it was so we're trying to figure that out Then we understood that it was serious. We understood the problem better But that also threw a bunch of unknowns in our face and right now it feels like we're in the part where you're just Dayloosed with uncertainties and that makes the process of sort of like imagining the future Really hard and that creates inevitable stress and inevitable This this wayfinding process of like overreaction under reaction and not being sure Whether you're doing either at any given moment, but eventually we do get to a new normal There will be a stability out there, but even when reality reaches some kind of stable state It's gonna take us Each individually and collectively a long time to sort of figure out exactly What that is to actually understand it and we're gonna rock back and forth And we're gonna have moments where we think this isn't a big deal and moments when we are blissfully free of it And moments when we are crushed by it and it's gonna suck But we will catch ourselves And we will rise because that's what we do and at least this time it's going to be something we do together Like this isn't going to be the same for everybody. It's going to be much worse for some people than for others But we can go through it together in a way that we can't with Most withering times and we can also learn from each other. So here's what I learned from my disruption First I needed to not believe my gut feelings and I needed to believe my doctor I needed to do things to create stability in my life. That helped me imagine the future better I needed to find routines that were livable and enjoyable inside of my new normal And I needed to rely on other people and accept their help when I needed it I needed to let myself be weak in the moments when I couldn't be strong And I needed to let myself be strong in the moments when I could I hope those learnings are useful to me in the coming months But even more I hope they are useful to other people John, I'll see you on Tuesday