The David Feldman radio program is made possible by listeners like you.  Welcome back once again. Thank you to Greg Proups and Senator Chuck Schumer for answering your phone. Elizabeth Warren in 2020 and Elizabeth Warren for Senate minority leader. You're now joined. What? We can't hear you. You don't need to hear. You can take your cans off. We're recording now? Yeah, we're recording. We're ruined everything. That's my friend Kristen Buckles who's hysterical comedian and comedy writer and producer. She produces stage shows for Colin Quinn, Nick Kroll and John Mulaney. She's also the creator of Between Two Bushes. What is Between Two Bushes? You don't need your headset. What is Between Two Bushes? You don't need the headset. I know, but Alex said I shouldn't, so I'm going to do it because I want to make Alex the state better. Okay. What is Between Two Bushes? Between Two Bushes is a sketch group. We do stand up and sketch with my partner Lacy Jekka and I, and we are the bushes of Between Two Bushes. I know Lacy. Lacy's the best. And you're very funny. Thank you so much.  It's hard to get you to come out of your shell. He's very shy, Dave. Dave murdered somebody on the way here. Yeah. Nominated for Emmys and you are a YouTube star under another name, right? Brickstone, yeah.  You succeeded. You did really well. Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, you really succeeded. Thank you for your great work. They really did not like me. Trump's president now. Thank you. Thank you so much. Well, at least, you know. What a great opportunity. Well, I can't take responsibility for it, but I can say that Westboro Baptist Church is effectively redundant now. Yeah. I'll defend the Westboro Baptist Church. Now? Well, I like them. I do.  I have done... This doesn't surprise me. I've done several comedy shows where we've gone up against them. First of all, the guy who runs it is a lawyer and he's a champion of the... A prosecutor, I assume. Well, he is a lawyer. He was a defense attorney for the Democrats in the 60s. He did not hear that. Though his son specifically said it was purely about trying to take advantage of the time and make money off of civil rights, and that he, of course, in his private life was a virulent racist, but was an opportunist during the civil rights era. Okay. Here's the thing about the Westboro Baptist Church. They're the least of our worries. Yes.  Wow. That does take a certain amount of courage. It really does. And Hell's Angels want to beat them up, and Families want to beat them up. And yes, it's unfair to the families that they have to see that, but if you're going to have a First Amendment in this country, it's not just about burning the flag. It's about going to a soldier's funeral. There's a reason they're in textbooks about the First Amendment. That's fair. Yeah. And we need the First Amendment. One thing I never thought was that they should not have the right to say what they want to say. My attitude was always, I'm simply using the exact same laws that allow them to do this to them for me to do what I do to the church. Right. That's how I always thought. But they're very pleasant to deal with. They really are. Oddly enough. Are they pleasant people? Oddly enough, often they are, yes. Not often. They're not, were they ever violent with you? No. No. No. The different members have different attitudes. They laugh. They're kind of in on the joke. They're not David Duke. We know we're idiots. Okay. So I'm just falling in line and manufacturing consent here on the David Feldman show. Great, great, great. We have to give our fearless leader, our new president, Donald Trump. And by the way, yesterday was... Dave just died a little inside. Veterans Day. And you know, I want to thank Donald Trump for his personal Vietnam. Clemidea? Well, did he contract Clemidea? Well, I mean, he said he did, obviously. That doesn't mean it happens. He said he contracted. Wait, when did he say that? He made a joke on Howard Stern about, I didn't go to Vietnam, I was busy.  Okay. And we thank him for that. I hope he got a purple... Somebody did give him a purple heart. Who gave him a purple heart? A veteran. A veteran gave him... Was he senile? And he accepted it. Because of the Clemidea. He accepted the purple heart and he said, you know, I always wanted one of these. I always thought I would have gotten one if I had gone to Vietnam because he did not know that purple hearts specifically meant getting injured. He thought it was just heroin. He went to military school. That's kind of tough. He was very athletic there too, despite the bone spurs that kept him out of Vietnam. Yeah, but I mean, military school, in many ways, those guys are bullies. I mean, they could be tougher than the Vietnamese. Kristen Buckles. Yeah. Let me ask you a question, Alex. I know you're upset, Alex is our producer. And Kristen says, you have a beautiful studio here. You love your studio. I know you're upset about Donald Trump, okay? If I ask you if the coffee's ready, because am I being rude by asking you for the coffee? I know that's... Can I... I mean, I can get up and leave the show and go get the coffee. Which would be preferable. Can I be so bold as to ask you for my coffee, please? Is that okay? And then I'll return the favor somehow. He won't. Thank you. Is there milk in the house? There's milk in... Do you want some coffee too? And Dave Cyrus too would like some coffee. Yeah, I would also like some coffee, since Feldman doesn't know how to be a host. I don't. Thank you so much. Kristen Buckles, I have daughters and... How old are you? I might ask. I'm 28. And how much do you weigh? I weigh. I weigh. So, you see, I can't even... Here's the thing now. He's about to say he can't keep a straight face when he did that, yet he did. Teasing women now, not a good idea, right? No, I would like to continue to be teased. Seriously? Yes, absolutely. Because... But is it... It wasn't... I don't know if it... I don't know if it's appropriate. Because I... No, I do feel like it is appropriate. And one thing that I will say for Lacey and I, one of our things is that there is an amount of this sort of feminism handling us with gloves that I find absolutely infuriating. Can I confess something to you? Please. Okay. And I'll confess this to Dave Cyrus. I voted for Bernie Sanders. So, as... Let me just clear my... The number for Planned Parenthood to donate money is 1-800-798-7092, or maybe 7042, but I think it's 7092, 1-800-798-7092 for Planned Parenthood. I have donated to Planned Parenthood, but I prefer to make my support of them simply by getting women pregnant who we don't want to be. That's an excellent idea. Right. I'd just like to encourage them to get more business. I will say I've had an abortion.  And it is always just sort of a... I don't think Planned Parenthood is going anywhere. I really don't. But it's hard. I mean, in Texas, you've got to go to, you know, Arkansas. For? I mean, they've made it really hard to get an abortion in Texas. That's fair. I feel like if you're from Texas and you voted for Trump, then maybe, you know. Yeah, but abortions are like divorces. They're hard to get because you'll still get them. They're worth it. I mean... And you get them... You try not to get them for the sake of the children. Would you... I mean, would you get a... That might have been my first almost mathematically correct joke all day. How's that coffee coming? I like my coffee the same way I like my women to win the electoral vote, but lose the electoral college. Aw. All right, so let me... Can I say a hacky joke?  Okay. No, no, you know, I have a... Hosea Royo gave me a better version of that than I do in my act. I like my women the way I like my coffee, hot, Colombian. And all over my lap while I'm driving. That's better because it implies that it's... Right, right. The coffee. Yeah. Hosea Royo gave me that. Great combat. Great, great. So I was working on a television show where we were at Hillary headquarters the night of the end of America. The night of the apocalypse. And I automatically assumed since day one that she was going to be her next president. Yes. There was no question that she was going to win because I have faith in America. And we're walking...  I know. We're walking to the Javits Center with Brian Rich, who you know. Yeah. And we're joking.  How do you feel about retiring as a white man? Yeah. It's the end of the patriarchy. It's... Totally. It's over.  So Brian and I are walking and we're just being a little Trumpian and going, this is it for us. We're white men. We have to move over. The women are coming for us. There's a little truth to that and even President Obama said that a lot of the people, when he was on the campaign trail, he said to the men, come on, admit it guys, you're a little uncomfortable voting for a woman. Admit it to his own support. His speeches, by the way, on the campaign trail should be turned into books. They should be read. His speeches were just, you know... So, and then I'm waiting in line for my press credentials because if you're a comedy writer in this country, it's easier to get press credentials than the actual press.  I said, assuming Hillary was going to win. Well, this is a monumental moment.  And this woman turns around, this is when I thought she was going to be the president.   And I have to admit that I felt a little hostile towards that. You got a little bristled. At her not being able to laugh at that joke. And I voted for Hillary. So can I tease women now? I mean, I wouldn't dare, if I called my daughters and made a joke, they would just... See, I get my coffee, but they want coffee, too. Oh, I didn't realize. Thank you.  Of course you are. Alex, thank you. Thank you. I think that you can still tease women.  This is good. Once again, the have-nots feel it's everyone. This is Pete's coffee, buddy. For the record, it was Feldman did force me to call him sir on several occasions. Oh, that was one with Colin. We're trying to make up stories to tell Colin. We worked together on a show and I kept saying, what was the worst thing I asked you to tell Colin about me? Oh, God, what was it? I think it was something to do with you pooped and didn't flush. And then you like, or something about you made people look at it. No, you didn't. By the way, speaking of pooping and not flushing. Thank you. Can I have some milk and sugar? Is that annoying? Absolutely not. Thank you so much, Alex. Anything for Colin Quinn. Speaking of pooping and not flushing, and then we'll get back to teasing women. Okay, great. I worked on the Bill Maher show for a very long time and we had bungalows at CBS where the offices were and we had a unisex bathroom meant the guys and the girls shared a bathroom in this bungalow. And when you work for Bill Maher, every guy and girl brings their A game to work because he is, you know, kind of, I don't want to say sexual, but he's a living and breathing human being. And you just want to, there were parties and you wanted to look your best. He lives life. He lives life. And he just was. So when you went to work, when I went to work for Bill, you know, women would wear boots and they, they look great. And so I, you know, I would wear my push up bra. Thank you for the coffee. Look at this show, Breeze. Thank you. I'm a steo, which is male breasts. So I would wear a push up bra to accentuate it. Of course. So they hired a writer who didn't flush the toilet. And I can talk about the snackers enough time has passed. So he didn't flush the toilet. So you would, you'd be writing and you'd hear, I'm serious. And that was me. You'd want a woman or a guy would walk into the bathroom. Yes. And there'd be, you know, there'd be some James Comey that hadn't been flushed down. And so this went on for about a month. And it, the first time it was like a mistake. The second time it's like we've got a keeper.  Yeah. And we found out who it was and we found out who it was. You did some research. How'd you find out? We did a stakeout. Of course you did. The show was delayed that night. And I thought the guy was going to kill us. Stop. Seriously. Really? I get that. Because it's such a despicable act that it's like if you're willing to do this, what else are you willing to do? Right. We had the similar problem at SNL. I know who the writer was. Please tell me there's one writer who was supposed to play. Anyway, so I said, I've never asked for anybody. I'm a low man on the totem pole. But I got this guy. You know, we know who it is. We got it. And they go, man, I know. Just let it go. Let it. But he's letting it go. He's too. He's letting it go. So here's what happened.  At least.  His lifestyle, shall we say. And I bring this up because once it became apparent that we had to finish the season with that guy, the women stopped wearing makeup. They stopped. Everybody just came to work in their clothes. And I stopped shaving. And there were days where I rolled out of bed.  There's really no need. And I, you know, I've completely forgotten about this incident until Wednesday morning, the day after Trump was elected. And I just started coming to work unshaving baseball cap didn't, you know, comb the plugs, mom jeans.  That's what I'm getting a flashback to.  I would say yes. And the reason I feel like that, Dave and I were just talking beforehand and I forgot where I was going. What were we saying earlier? I apologize. I brought up a bad story. And we said a lot. We said a lot of things. Was it about Lacey or about something? No, not let me challenge you guys. I'll get you ripped up. I'm going to say, okay, I like space and what I was going to say, get over Trump.  Let me tell you something. You're miserable people. You're in bad relationships. You're unhappy. You can't stand yourself. So what you're doing is you're blaming an election. You need an excuse for your misery.  That's why I'm going to have, it's going to have no effect on you. Life goes on. The earth is still spinning around the sun. Unarmed black men are still getting shot by policemen. The polar ice caps are still melting. It's all, stop, the world goes on. You're just, you're looking for a reason to be upset.  Donald Trump is president.   Other people are not so much. And I think that that- They're overreacting.  Seriously. Dave, come on. You know, one thing I really didn't see coming was I thought I might hear some stories about, you know, people getting harassed in the street or how anything's thrown at them. What I didn't expect was that how many of those were like people I knew. Like it wasn't just like a few news stories about it. It was- You don't know anybody who's here to bubble and think, I had a friend of mine in Florida.  You're isolating. There are 350 million Americans. I can go, I can find, if I look hard enough, I can find a person with a Hillary for president bumper sticker getting something thrown at them. If you look hard enough, you can find the bad in this country. But you're just isolating stuff. We're perfectly safe and the stock market's up. For now. For this instance. The stock market's up because people saw it going down as an opportunity to buy when things were low because people who have trust in him are starting to buy. But when he's- You know somebody who got assaulted. Yeah. Yeah. I know a few people. I know one person who got called a Hillary fag in the street.  There's also- Was he, okay, was he beaten up? No. Not this person. I know someone else in California who, in Santa Monica, got a, it's a famous story but it is someone who is actually a friend of a friend who got the bottle thrown at them, had to go to the emergency room. It was Reginald Denny. The guy is the most unlucky human being.   I don't see a lot of black men getting yelled at in the street. I don't see a lot, I see a lot of people who they know can't fight back. Well, I think first of all, first of all, you got to watch that. Think about what you just said, young man. I don't, that I don't see, well, because I think they're afraid of black men. They are afraid of black men. I don't see any men, but I didn't say white men because white men are presumed to be. But you know what that does to black men when you say something like that? What? Black men are scared. They should be. I love watching two white men discuss how black men feel. We're going to get to women in a second. This is my favorite. I didn't mean black men in the terms of like that they're stronger than other men. I meant in the sense that a Trump supporter sees a white man and does not assume he's a Hillary supporter. He's a black man. He does assume he's a Hillary supporter. So they're saying people like. Didn't a black man get cold cocked at a Trump rally? That was special effects. Yes, in both ways. That went both ways.  So I don't know which one you were referring to, but yes, that yeah, a black kid for giving a middle finger was punched in the face. Yeah. Okay. And do women that I don't think women have anything to be afraid of in this country? Right? You're you can walk the streets. I can. Sure. Absolutely.  I mean, women just I have nothing to worry about, right? I think I to be fair, I was I, you know, I supported Hillary. I voted for Bernie. I supported Hillary. I was shocked when once Pennsylvania went to Trump, I took some nightquill and I was like, I'm out. I'm not I'm not going to watch the acceptance speech. I can't stomach it. Look up the next morning pretty much nauseous and then I went and I actually saw I watched the the concession speech with Colin and afterwards he starts talking and I just burst into tears and I couldn't even sort of compute it at all of just like why do I feel so upset and personally sort of wronged in a weird way. And I think a part of that is my sort of like white lady entitlement, which everyone likes to talk about right now is millennials and their entitlement that we're whining like babies and that we're not accepting the we're not accepting everything. But yeah, I feel like I feel women. There is a new air of confidence among whom? I would say women among not no, not among women. Oh, I sensed. OK, go ahead. I think that there's a new air of confidence in the air of of people of cat collars of people who harass women of just like.  OK, and let me ask you about that because I'm in a bubble as am I. So I don't know how much help. And so I only see what's in front of my my nose. And I have women in my life who have changed. And I don't know if it's because of aging or, you know, but but I did I said on the show over and over again that everything changed after the last midterms women woke up or I woke up. I don't know what happened, but it seems to me as a white male who needs to watch himself that women in the past two or three years have turned on David Feldman. No, that women there's something that a light went on in the past, especially in the past three years. Is that a fair statement that that the women have turned on you? No, no, that women are now and it's been in the past three years that women are really not taking it anymore. Yes, I think that would be accurate. I think that I, you know, and I why is that I know, I think I know why I think that we're just I think that like women in general are just becoming a little more aware of where they're being short, where they're being cut off or what things are not allowed to say or what things men are allowed to say. And I think I think it goes back to so simply, even just like I was recently at a dinner with some people who are probably in their like 60s or 70s, and the man kept cutting off his wife while she was right. No, no, no, I'm kidding. No, but I mean, I will say, I think it's like one of those things where like when I'm arguing with a guy or when I'm talking to a guy and they cut me off mid sentence, but not even rudely, just talking.  Like I was in the middle of a sentence. And I think that women are becoming more of like noticing that they're getting cut off. Or noticing that they're getting, I think they're just starting to notice because somebody is pointing it out to them and being like, you understand that that's not fair, correct? And I said, go ahead. Sorry, no, no, no, no, let her finish. Just suffer through it, Dave, suffered through her. It's that number. Just give the veneer. That you're listening. But I will I will also say I don't. I did recently go to an event, which was a panel a panel for comedians like women in film and television for comedians. It was part of the comedy festival and it was a great panel of people. And I was stunned the questions that these women were asking these women who were on the panel and I think, and I probably shouldn't say this, but I think that a lot of the reason that women are held back is because of women. I think that we are, I think we attack each other way more than men attack us. Is that a really treading and dangerous territory? I know. I felt gross saying that, so. Is that the same thing that they say about the African-American community? I think it used to be. But I do think, but I mean, black on black violence and what I'm saying is that women turn on each other. African-Americans have been accused of turning on each other. Jews turn on each other. Yeah, but that's definitely rats when they're not fed properly. We'll eat each other. And as you and I both know, Dave, Jews and rats, we've seen enough. It's I'm a Joe. But you by choice. Yeah, that's true. I'm a Joe by choice. But you will get to get to hold it. Can you imagine choosing to know I could not? I could not. Why would you have chosen? I mean, we're the chosen people. I chose myself. You don't choose to be Jewish. You actually converted, right? Yeah, I did. Well, I mean, my parents converted when I was five. So I converted with them, obviously. Why would anybody? I never understood conversion in general of any religion personally because I guess because to me, religion only makes sense if it was something that you were raised on. Yeah, it's the only time any religion ever made sense to me is if you learned it when you were a baby, but then for an adult to then say, no, this religion's the right one. That to me, nothing, you know, right or wrong always seemed so weird to me because it was like, I can't imagine an adult looking at any religion and saying this one, this is the correct one. Well, anyway, let's get off religion and get back to women. So you were surprised by the questions that women asked. Do you think it was maybe because they're so on the outside that they don't they've been kept so afar from the inner circle that they're just they don't know? Well, I will say, I think one of the ones that really was one of the panelists has a bunch has more than a couple of kids. And she's also a showrunner, a director, a writer, a producer. And she's for her. She's amazing. Oh, that's great.  Can you still do that? Yeah, not to me. You can't. But one of the things is I think that more than three audience members asked her like, how do you do it? Just like, how do you do it? Like, I mean, and one literally asked her, how do you stay so thin? I was just going to ask that question. I swear to God, how thin was she? Yes, because I would think that if you're not getting any sleep, you just eat to stay. I mean, that's I was so mad. I like literally I like I made.  But it was mad that she was so thin.  No, but it was it was that she that that really like that is your question. We have 20 minutes and you're asking her how she stays so thin after after. And how does she stay so thin? She she elegantly answered the question and then deferred it to her own work. But it was I just but it's like but things like that.  You want people to stop talking like so then ask her a professional question. Like what's wrong with I'm going to ask you some questions. Great. OK. One of my daughters refuses to answer them. What are you refuses to answer these questions? And I am not speaking and because they haven't spoken in a year. I've been accused of being a sociopath because I often ask my shrink in constant contact with how am I supposed to feel about this? OK, like what is what is a I'm not a normal human being. So what is a normal human being feel when treated this way? And then my shrinks as well. You have the right to be angry. But so I need instructions on how to feel because I'm basically dead inside. That's why I'm a pretty good stand up comic because I'm dead inside. I feel nothing inside of a very simple human being. I just want to have sex. I want to eat. I want to read, see a movie and have my insides function properly when it comes to my morning rituals rituals. I've you know, that's why I'm a vegetarian. That's all I want. I want love, sex, food, a healthy bowel movement. And a movie every now and then. A movie, some good TV, a job, some money, some shelter. Wow. And a little boy who will service me sexually. That's all I want. So I need. And then the rest of life is I just don't know how to behave. I go, well, how do you act in the. So and I said to one of my daughters, tell me how to treat women properly? Like, what do you want? And she goes, well, if you don't know, I just tell me and I'll do it. I'm a dog. Give me a biscuit. OK, OK, so OK, here we go. Asking a woman to put a gun in my mouth in order to heighten my orgasm. Yes. Is that good or no? OK. Yikes. I'd happily put a gun in your mouth. Tell me how to. It's the right direction. If you tell me that you want to be called an African American, I'll call you an African American. OK, tell me what you want. What I want. Yeah, I would appreciate not being brought to my attention every 20 minutes, what my gender is and how I should feel about that. I think I find that writing that down. I find and I'm not to be fair. This is for me specifically. I think that I think there's a lot of women. I'm serious. I'm writing that down. I think there's a lot of people out there who are very, you know, future is female, which I agree with them. And I'm all about that. And I want I will be doing the Million Woman March come January 21st. I will be there. Million Woman March. Yes. Oh, good. Somebody can clean up after the inauguration. Exactly. Isn't that wonderful? Now, is that a bad joke? No, I don't I don't think that's bad.  That is a bad joke. It's an easy joke. Well, it's an easy.   Exactly. I think it's a comment on your intellect more than my. OK, don't do that. So when a woman walks into a room, don't stand up. No, because I have an erection. Don't stand up. Don't acknowledge that it's a woman. I I wouldn't. I mean, why would you stand up when I walk in the room? Anyways, because that's how I was raised. OK, I think that you should still hold open doors. I think that's a good thing. Is there heavy?  I'm sorry. That is. I'm so sorry. I mean, that is that is the big secret about opening doors. That is to be honest.  And it's like it's almost like a deal we make. Like, we'll open doors for you if we get to, you know. OK, it's not the most respectable thing. But like just an example of what you said, like, don't acknowledge your woman that as a guy, like something that you just had to learn. But I didn't know was something that was offensive until not offensive. But sometimes it's not offensive. And to be fair, I'm sure there is I'm sure there is women out there who would like to be who want to, you know, walk around and, you know, like, I don't I don't know. I mean, I don't what about her. Can I tell you? Hang on? Can I tell you? I've gotten into trouble. Shocking. Shocking women with with a cattle prod. Just to make them. Yeah, that sounds accurate. No, the read. OK. Hang on. Can you tell a woman she's beautiful? Sure, why not? Can you tell a woman she's sexy? If she's single and you're single and it's the right context, sure. In an office situation. No. Exactly. Yes. Does that's I'm going to be really naive here. That still goes on, right? Guy. Oh, sure. Guys flirt in an office, right?  Oh, yeah, absolutely. Right. I thought we had a nice time. And I never said anything. No, right. No, I will say I think that did I ever even slightly say anything? No, you didn't appropriate. No. That's right. You know why? Why?  Accurate. And I don't want them to win, obviously, in court. Yeah, I kind of made it. I kind of made a vow to myself when I started working. I will not lose a sexual harassment case. I will treat I will treat women in the office like robots.  That will not have to treat them like robots. And I and I then I just started treating everybody like robots. And it makes for a happier work environment. Everybody's there to make money and go home. Right. Of course. That's it. Yes. And you know what? I've been in situations where men have harassed me in the office. They they they have it out for me and for some reason. And I think, oh, I get it's happened enough to me where I go. Oh, I get it. I'm like a beautiful woman in the fifties. I've always thought of you as a beautiful woman in my fifties. But in the fifties, yeah, I'm a beautiful woman. And I this guy will not leave me alone. Right. Mm hmm. And it's scary. It is scary. Yes. I had I will say I had one we have a mutual colleague of ours. And this is obviously very unintentional. We were both walking out of the building one night, just talking randomly and we're leaving. And I realized that as we have gone down in the elevator and walked outside, he somehow unbuckled his pants and undone his top button. And that was all he did.  It was very bizarre. And I cannot wait to see if I'm right about who I'm guessing this was. Yeah, I'll be interested to see what you say later. But and it wasn't I never felt like threatened or anything. But it was just one of those things where I was like, what just happened? OK, if I said to you. If we were walking out, now we're out of the building, we're out of the building. Can I. Walk you to the subway or can I walk you home? It's late. I'm worried that. For your safety. That's fine. I'm worried for your safety, because I'm here.  Is that so? Is it is it OK? When do I get to acknowledge that I'm physically.  With that, it being kind of, I think that it's to be discussed, whether you're physically or mentally stronger than that. In other words, what about ordering when we go? Hey, you have a question. You have a question. We just keep finishing thought behind behind behind. Oh, great. We have breaking news that Trump says he wants to spend weekends in his penthouse in Trump Tower. Stop. I'm sure that won't affect New York City. Oh, wow. That's great. Oh, good. That will be known as Concentration Camp David, which is Jesus. That's doesn't work. That joke does not track because Camp David isn't like. No, OK. Well, no, I'm saying Concentration Camp David. That wouldn't be his Concentration Camp. Right, right. He Hitler didn't live in right. It would be the Wolfs. In Auschwitz. Yeah. So hang on. There's a Wolf Slayer joke. The Berk, the Berkdis Garden was where he hung out. Most of my World War Two info comes from playing Castle Wolfenstein. So I don't know the names of the actual people or places. Isn't there a wolf? Like there's a joke.  Well, OK, any who. So when I go out to dinner with a woman, ordering for her. Oh, my God, infuriating. The woman will. All right, what about if and I will say when I used to be a server and a bartender and the man would order for the woman, it made me more angry at the woman that doesn't happen. Yes, it does.  Though it does. I will see right here.  No, it happens. That men order for women. Yes, 100 percent. Older men more, I would imagine you would be shocked. And people think it's this. People think it's like this courtesy thing or whatever. But for me and I to be fair, the same goes for like little kids. I cannot stand it when the mom orders for little kids. OK, hang on for one second. Where did you wait tables? Nitsa, Nitsa, Nitsa. It's a it's a restaurant on 9th Avenue between 44th and 45th. And what kind of food are they, sir? I'm a Italian, Northern Italian. I was going to say, it just sounds like an Italian place you buy meat. OK, I learned something. It's it's not called. Nitsa is niece. It's Italian, not Italian. She says I'm leaving. I'm leaving. I'm leaving. All right. And so you had dates, you know, couples. And was he ordering? Was he choosing for her? That's unclear. I don't know if he was choosing for her or not, but he was ordering for her for sure. Marley Madeleine's husband always orders for her. Good for Marley. I bet that's not even true. She says it, or at least points. She's Jewish, by the way. Oh, wow. How do you whine with your hands? That's what I always wanted to know. But anyway, it seems like a smooth transition to be Jewish and speaking sign language there. I wish my mother I'm spoken. So, OK, so the guys, that happens. Yes.  Shouldn't I hate men? Yeah. What is what why? That comment alone is annoying. OK, because I don't I don't want to.   That's surprising. I do elaborate.  I think as long as I can keep my patriarchy, right, of course, as long as I have as long as it's no. It doesn't make that deal. I think we have to surrender to women as long as I can somehow pull a Hail Mary and become a one percenter. Right. Then I'm all for the demise of white men everywhere. Yes. OK. Does that make sense? Yeah. I think I think the way we conduct ourselves is if this continues, that we're doomed. Well, you know, the planet is over. I think that I think one of men's greatest weaknesses is that they have a hard time admitting if they're doing something wrong because they have too much pride or ego. No, that's women. No, that is not a woman can't admit they're wrong. Women can admit they're wrong, but they won't. So they'll manipulate the situation. So you think that you're wrong. So go over this again. Go over this again. I think that I think that even if a woman, even if I'm in the middle of an argument and I'm like, I'm wrong, this is I'm in the wrong care. It is extremely hard for me to admit that I'm wrong. But I'm so it's easier for me to manipulate the conversation so that I can make them feel like they're wrong. What about when you're arguing with another woman? This is great. That's an interesting question. What is it? So, okay, when you get men alone in a room, they will say, why can't women admit they're wrong? Right, you've heard that, right? Sure. Is that a fair statement? Women cannot admit they're wrong. That it's something we say, sure. I do know, I have met and I do know women personally who cannot admit they're wrong. Right. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. But in relationships, so is it, we're making a sweeping generalization, but I think most men quietly will say, she can't admit she's wrong. So what, when women get alone in a room, what do they all say about men? If there's anything. I would think there is an element of pride that certain men have that won't admit that they are wrong either. I think that's something that women talk about. Okay, and so you said, by the way, we're talking with Kristen Buckles, she's a woman, and it's good, you know, every, she's interesting. How long have you been a woman? Been a woman for 28 years now. And you speak for all women? Not at all. Probably just me, I've probably already pissed off many people. And asking you these questions is annoying, isn't it? No, not really. It's fine. People have to learn. Yeah, I think it's more annoying when people assume how to treat women or how to talk or what to say. I think that, yeah, I don't know.  It gets very exhausting. Yeah, a lot of women don't like to do my show. And I love having women on the show because I like asking them questions. But then people complain, like Colleen, Workman does the show and then people complain that I ask her questions as though she speaks for all women. But I'm just kind of interested in women because I was married for 30 years and now I'm getting a divorce, I'm almost done. And I never really talked to women, you know? I was in love with one woman. I didn't flirt, I didn't cheat. I just kind of, you know, went home and read. And so I'm just, now my daughters are of age and they're thinking far differently than women were when I was looking for women. So I just find it, you know, I'm a dinosaur trying to understand this stuff. And so I apologize. I'm sure you didn't come on this show to answer these questions. I expected nothing less. No, I think it's unfair to you, actually. I think that, I mean, I apologize. No, I don't care. I honestly, I feel like when I answer these questions and I hear the things coming out of my mouth, I'm like, oh, I'm kind of a shitty person. No, no, no. And you specifically said that you don't want to be acknowledged as a woman. Here's what, so let me move on. Okay. And I apologize. Now that we're all depressed. No, I apologize. But here's the problem that I, my personal problem, and then we'll change the subject and we'll talk about Trump. I gave an interview for a book called The Satteristas. This was like six years ago.  Just be funny. Okay. And I was wrong for saying that because I didn't understand what it meant to be black in this country.  I don't understand what it means to be a woman in this country. I know what it's like to be a Jew, but you know, it's not the same thing. You can change your name. So I apologize, but I do think that people like me need to understand what it's like to be a gay person in America. Dave Cyrus, what is it like? Oh, I knew that was coming. Well, you know, all I can say is that like, I'm in the same boat as you. I'm a straight white Jew. So I don't, yeah, it's not Warsaw in the 30s. I don't know what it's like to be a heavily discriminated minority in the country I live in. All we know is what it's like to perpetuate the discrimination. Well, I mean, I... Did you have any feelings of relief when Trump won? Oh God, no, I was nothing but dread. But as a white male. The only relief I had was in the just desire to see his fans have to actually own what they've been doing. The only thing that, the only relief I had was the idea that now you get to see how deeply you've been conned and how much more complicated the world you live in is than you would like to believe. That was the only solace because... And do you think they're capable of realizing that you're conned? No, absolutely not. A minority of them are. No. I would say a minority.  The only newspaper he was endorsed by was the Klans. Like, I think... Oh, there were other papers, the Santa Barbara papers. Oh, did he eventually get other endorsements? Okay, well, I think that was the only thing... I wanted them to... Because I knew that if they lost, they would, for the rest of their lives, say, oh, we almost did it. We almost fixed it. Oh, us poor and how we see how only being a victim galvanizes people in this country, only being on the wrong side of something gets anyone to even pay attention that, like liberals, it took Bush for them to even wake up and try to do something. Just like Obama, the people who hate him, even though it's for much less rational reasons, that's the power that they had. And now that they're in charge, now they suddenly are in a position, well, yeah, okay, let's see how great these ideas were that you actually believed he meant. And though I'm not that optimistic about them being honest about that, it is something I want to see. Okay, how upset are you, the Trump one? Seriously? I really feel I'm at a 10. Out of what? 10. I feel, I don't have anything to compare this to that's outside of a personal tragedy of when I felt like this. 9-11? How old are you from 9-11? I was an adult. You were an adult? Yeah, I was an adult. How old are you? I'm 30. We know my age, so. How much do you weigh? I'm 38. Yeah, how much do you weigh? About 160. Okay. Something like that.  Yeah, answer that. Is it thick?  Okay, so is it thick? Well, I enjoy it.  I know I'm not supposed to answer these questions, and I so want to. I was very upset. 9-11 upset me. 9-11 was very upsetting to me, but the thing is- Because you pulled your back dancing. Yeah, yes. But I do that too. I mean, let me say, I was in 9-11. I was in Boston during 9-11. I was at France. That's what you're telling the authorities. Yes. I was at a France. I just wanna say that on record that I was in Boston, and I had- Welcoming flights in from Maine, I believe. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yes. Jesus Christ. Now, when it happened, I was very upset, and I was mostly upset- What happened? 9-11. You were upset. I was very upset because I first just upset for the loss of life, and for my dread of what this was going to mean. But I think the difference was at 9-11, it was, oh, this is so horrible, but a sense of the worst has already happened, and now we have to start building towards it, whereas with Trump, it's here it comes. It's not as upsetting- Impending doom. It's not as upsetting on a visceral level, but it's more upsetting because there's so much more uncertainty. What do you think is the worst that's gonna happen? He will instigate a nuclear war. Okay. Besides that. I think we're, I think we are in a rocket space. Okay. Do you realize- I'm not being, I'm- I really have that word. I'm in the business. Let me tell you something about this. I do, I do, I have a responsibility to my listeners to anesthetize them into compliance. Yes. So when you talk this way, you're jeopardizing my gig here on the David Feldman show, which is to make people compliant. I think he'll instigate a full-scale grant. Now aren't you being, come on now. Aren't you just being Mr. He said it. He said he would do it. He said- They're not bad or nuclear weapons. Seriously. They're bad because- Don't you think if we had- I think we're about to break a seal that we weren't ever supposed to break. We already dropped two. Yeah, but it's been a, we managed to- And we've tested- What about a above ground testing of nuclear weapons that didn't wipe out the planet? No, that was just testing. That's like going to a gun range. I mean it's not like you can't explode a nuclear bomb and like one bomb's gonna go off and the whole world comes to an end. Our only hope was that it wipes out Feldman. Yeah. But- No, seriously. I mean, you know. I think that we're talking about- Chernobyl was it- I'm being serious. Chernobyl was terrible. And it still is. But it didn't ruin the world. I mean it's still in some breast milk in Europe. I'm being- Yeah, no. I'm being- Chokingly difficult to- Okay, I agree with you.  Don't you think we have good people who will, you know, violate- One of the things we learned, I remember during the Oliver North hearings, I was taught that after the Nuremberg trials, we instituted laws in the army that you cannot follow an order if it's illegal. Don't you think we have people in the military who won't follow his orders because they're wrong? That's not exactly a firewall I'm willing to stake my life on. I think that we have a- Okay, I agree with you on the nuclear power. Nuclear energy, nuclear holocaust. Okay, environmentally, he could cause- He could be the catalyst of the end of the world. Environmentally, by suspending all environmental protection, by installing conspiracy theorists into the EPA who believe things that are- Who eval one of those guys? Yeah. I think that- So where does it- So should the demo- Okay, go ahead, I'm sorry. No, no, I just think that there are several different outs here for the end of the world. What about the Justice Department?  I know he wants- The way he talks about black neighborhoods sounds like someone- It sounds like an emperor describing a rebel base that they need to wipe out.  Do you think- So in other words, what he's going to do is he's gonna put people in charge who aren't going to enforce the laws that are on the books.  The local police officers will no longer have to worry about a consent decree from the Justice Department. I think it encourages people who see the current problems between the police and black communities as an opportunity to, this is simple, they want to treat this like a military operation and treat black citizens of the United States as like a foreign body that needs to be crushed. I do think that that is the overall undertone of the kind of criminal justice system he wants to have because he never ever even hinted at caring about the, about caring about what the underlying problems that we're creating this were. He simply wants to shut it down. Christian Buckles.  That's the, what? Women on women, that the thing. Yeah.  Right. Democrat on Democrat. Oh boy. If you give, if Chuck Schumer gives any quarter to Trump on day one, off with his head, right?  Who's more to blame for this guy, E-Belle, becoming head of the Environmental Protection Agency or Giuliani or Chris Christie becoming AG, Attorney General, Trump or Chuck Schumer. Who's more to blame? I'd say Chuck Schumer. Why? Because he knows better. And he has a responsibility to do what? To handle this. To block. Yes. To fight. Yes. And if he's not up for the job.  Off with his head? You know, the thing that sets me the most about this is that what we've seen is the death of moderation. It seems like it is going to be now impossible for a moderate to ever run this country. Who cares? We don't need, a moderate, Elizabeth Warren is a moderate. Bernie Sanders is a moderate. Anybody with an education who thinks rationally would look at Bernie Sanders and say, oh, he's thinking moderately. He's a socialist. Anybody who says, which Bernie Sanders has said, is that Wall Street, their whole entire business model is fraud. That is a moderate, rational assessment. There is a, you know, we had Greg Proops on earlier. And we're talking about the Nazis. And, you know, there was a fever that swept Europe in the 30s or Germany. Anti-Semitism, racism, eugenics, which started in America, this. And there's a fever now that's sweeping the world. Same things, you know, racism. But there's also an intellectual fever of supply-side economics, austerity. It's a fever that swept Europe after the Great Recession, austerity. It's a fever that has swept the United States, Paul Ryan and the Republicans. This austerity fever, it's as vile and disgusting and wrong as anti-Semitism and racism and sexism. This austerity fever of lower taxes strangle the government. That's a fever based, rooted in stupidity, false science. And emotional fear, yes.  There's a fever of stupidity. Yes. Anti-intellectualism that is sweeping the world. It's the desire to want to make intelligence an artificial construct. It's people who want to be able to say that intelligence was never a real thing. It was always something that the elites were telling us was real. I do believe that. So when they go low, we go high? I don't know. It's not gonna, it doesn't work. So, you know, there comes a time when the Democrats, we don't need Chuck Schumer. No. We need Elizabeth Warren. But it scares me about the idea that we become a country that is purely a pendulum. That we just swing further and further and harder each direction. It's not going in each direction. Well, Trump, I mean, look. But where's it going to the left? We, you know, I love Barack Obama, but he's a moderate. He's a corporatist. He's a moderate. He's extremely moderate. But the problem is. He's not a moderate, he's a corporatist. Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren are moderates. I mean, I see Hillary Clinton as what I would call a moderate Democrat. And I know that even though moderate Democrat is what a moderate Republican was 20 years ago. I think that there's a lot going on here in terms of like people, they're looking at their politics as sport and that creates an impossibility of trying to have stability. People thought of Obama as not moderate because he's black, not because of his policies because the Republican party has tried to push the middle artificially further and further right until CNN is looked at as left wing, which is insane when you look at what they're actually reporting insane. That's her. Okay, so let me tell you what to do. And then you tell people what to do. Then you tell people what to do. Okay. Subscribe to The New York Times. I know people hate The New York Times. They hate The New York Times or they don't know how to read The New York Times. Subscribe to The Washington Post. Even though it's owned by Jeff Bezos now, Washington Post is a great newspaper. Subscribe to The Economist. Subscribe to The Nation Magazine. Read The Daily Coase. Subscribe to Mother Jones Magazine.  Read The New Yorker. Maybe not Shatson Murmer, but that's never been funny. But read The New Yorker. Read The Economist. Support Real Journalism. And practice what Walter Cronkite called internet literacy. Don't get your news from Facebook. Don't believe things, because they make you feel good. Yes. Read The New York Times. If The New York Times disappears, this country disappears. Read The Editorials in The New York Times. Read The Washington Post. Read The L.A. Times. Watch CBS News. Listen to Amy Goodman. If you cannot get Democracy Now on your Pacifica station, go to democracynow.org. Read her. And Ralph Nader. And Ralph Nader. Give to Planned Parenthood. Under Mike Pence's name, which you can do. Oh, really? Yes, you can. Give to the ACLU. Give to the Southern Poverty Law Center. They won't leave you alone. And ignore Ann Coulter. When people say something about Ann Coulter, say, I thought she passed away. I thought she died. I thought she died. And by the way, that roast really... God, that was the best. Oh yeah, and it really helped to really talk people out of voting for Trump. If you're... I'm still proud of it.  Still proud of our work. That's the other thing with the comedy. It's good to laugh. We need to laugh.  They're great. They're important shows. Get your news from news sources. Stop laughing. Stop laughing. I still, I absolutely stand by my KKK comparison with Ann Coulter that I wrote for that roast. I think... Which one was yours? That last year, Martha Stewart... We had Martha Stewart's cell sheets and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them. Oh, fuck, yeah. All right. That's a great joke. It's an narcotic. It's an opiate. It makes us feel good. If you're a lawyer and you're unhappy, stop taking classes at UCB. Don't call me. Don't call me. Don't contact me through my website and say, I'm a miserable lawyer.  Help me become a comedian. I'm not interested in helping you. Oh, my God. You need to go work for the ACLU. We need lawyers in this country to grind the Republican Party to a halt. Stop.  If you can do other things, it's time to put that away and go do something important. That's what I'm telling you. We need to laugh. It feels good, but we need fewer childish things in our life like video games and binge-watching The Good Wife. Stop binge-watching television. Dave, this is directly at you. I have seen so many of my generations succumb to Netflix. Have you seen Game of Thrones? You know, it's read... It's actually better than the books. Is it? It's so good. You know, and I know Comic-Con, I know graphic... You know, okay. Go ahead. What do people need to do? I just think... I would have to agree with... I would say just in the past, and guiltfully I would say, just in the past two years, have I really become diligent about reading the news. I remember growing up, and my dad is an attorney, and he... Is he looking for a current stand-up because I can tutor him for... My dad is actually a spitting, more handsome image of Wolf Blitzer. But... Somebody's more attractive than Wolf... It's true. It's true. But no, I mean, my... I definitely recall growing up, my dad would have, you know, NPR going every morning, and that's sort of what I'd listen to going to school, and I think just in the past few years I'd become much more diligent about that. Yeah, we should listen to Amy Goodman instead of NPR. And Amy Goodman instead of NPR? Yeah, democracy now. Okay. I would say I do... I listen to NPR quite a bit, so I will start listening to Amy Goodman with that. NPR and the PBS is a disgrace.  Even Terry Gross? Let me ask you... Go ahead, what else should people do? I think that... I think couch politics is something that my generation is extremely a big fan of and I am guilty of it as well. I was just telling Cyrus earlier how I've had to like ban myself from Facebook a little bit. I think stop posting every article that you find fascinating and just start reading them and start doing actionable things with those. I think there's lots of things that you can do. You can volunteer at all these other places and causes that you care about. And I think two of the young people who are comedians and who are writers use that platform as a place where you can do some good. Comedy? Yes. Okay, you actually think comedy. Does anything good other than anesthetize... I mean, I think comedy is as good as morphine. Yeah.  But you don't change the world on morphine. No, I don't think you change the world. I think that just like my partner Lacey and I were doing shows next year, which we are going to be raising money for these different... Ah, remember we were just talking about that. Raising money. Raising money for these different organizations. You have a benefit, but also you need to make money. Right. How do people support you? If anybody would like to write me a check for my rent, that would be lovely. Okay. I mean, I guess I am sort of... I don't want to say starving artists because I think that is the most annoying term in the whole world. But I think that, yeah, I mean, I really do get my work where I can get it and I try to do a bunch of writing, but for the most part, I just get little jobs here and there and it's feast or famine for me. But I like what I do. And I think that we are very determined to step up and make a difference and stop just making shows just about getting our work out there and more about raising money for the things that we care about.  No. If you don't follow politics that closely, should you just entertain? Yes. Yeah. Right? Yeah. I don't think... I think one of the most dangerous things and I think that is that, you know, I'm going to be annoying here for a minute, but Hillary did get so many endorsements from, you know, Lena Dunham and Annie Schumer and... Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. Listen, so, and, you know, Beyoncé and all these people, and before I go any further, I love Lena Dunham and I love Annie Schumer. Go back. Go, go, go. But I think that their endorsements might have done more harm than... Thank you! Thank you! Oh, my God. Feldman left. Thank you so much! Oh, my God! Thank you! Thank you so much! Go on. Thank you. I think that, I mean, I myself on a personal level, I definitely... I love Lena Dunham's work and I love Amy Schumer's work so much and I definitely feel exactly the way that they do, but I think that nobody, and especially the people who wound up voting for Trump, nobody wants to be told what to do or how to think and I think that and or what's cool and I honestly don't know how to phrase this but I'm probably making myself look like an idiot right now but I think that it might have... it might have hurt her more than it helped her. I, especially Lena Dunham, there was this dance-wrap thing that she did which was almost offensive. That was like, quite frankly, more about her getting down to her goal weight than it was about the election. I don't ever want to talk about a girl's weight in context of... But it was not about body acceptance. It was one of the most offensive things I've seen and I can... when, you know, Alec Baldwin, I don't need him on my side when he's not paying taxes. I think there's a... thank you for saying this because there is this idea that if Jay-Z, and I know it's a character but he uses language that, you know, you know, it's in Ted Nugent territory when the politicians who come hat and hand to Hollywood, I have a... give your money, Hollywood, but you're not helping. No. You're turning... You're not politicians. And the other thing about Hollywood is there are many people in Hollywood who treat their employees like crap. They don't pay their bills. They make you wait for their money. They're abusive. But they're Democrats. I'm a liberal. And I can't help but think a lot of these people use liberalism as a means to expiate their sins, that they are... it makes them feel good to worry about the planet when they should be worrying about how they treat the people right in front of their nose. Yeah.   I think there's a lot of ego involved in why people hate these people.  Yeah. You have no idea what my life is like. Right. But I think that anytime, and it happens on the left plenty, it happens on the left with rich people and happens on the right with famous people, they have a hatred of people simply because they... it makes you an incredible hypocrite to hate someone who you would trade places with. I think that is... I see that all the time on both sides and it makes me sick. I definitely don't hate anyone. I just think... I mean, like I said, I love Lena Donovan. I love Amy Schumer. And I remember seeing the Instagram of Hillary and Jay-Z. I love Amy Schumer. Yeah, I love Amy Schumer. You don't love Lena Donovan. I take it. I don't think you write a book talking about putting pennies in your sister's vagina. Yeah, that kind of became just sort of... I don't know how you put that, like porn of, you know, being willing to be honest about... like being willing to say embarrassing things about yourself was almost like self-embarassment porn. I don't think you launch a book tour. By bringing performers with you and not paying them. She doesn't even know that you're supposed to pay your performers when you tour with them. What performers? Well, there's a... Lena Donovan toured? Yeah, there was a little thing where she didn't quite get it that... That wasn't there. Oh, I didn't know that. The people she's gonna... I didn't know that. Yeah, there's a little thing like that. I just think... You know what? I don't think a Brian Williams daughter should have her derriere being eaten out on a show because Lena Donovan wants to humiliate Brian Williams' daughter. You think that's why she didn't? Yeah, I think there's something sick about showing that. I think it's interesting that she makes you feel like this. Well, I think if you're Brian Williams' daughter, you... I...  Mm-hmm.   You think she has a responsibility to maintaining some... Other that or change your name. Okay. Okay.  You want the good that comes with your dad's name, you're gonna have to take the bad now. Right. Otherwise change your name. Dave Cyrus. Yes. You'll come back? Of course. You'll come back, right? Of course. You're not mad at me, are you? I will someday be able... Of course not. I will someday have to... You definitely have to come back because people need to do... I want to be funny on this show someday. I want to not be just... You know what? My listeners... Look, I had a cold that didn't go away for a month, so I didn't want to be funny because I would have started laughing and I would have sounded like a coal miner. Yeah. So we've been doing some serious shows and... I'm not in the mood to laugh right now. Me neither. If I could think of a joke, I would think of one. What we should do now is go outside, dig a hole, field strip an AK-47 and rebuild an old Jeep engine with parts that they're going to find in dumpsters because that's going to be one of the main jobs in the future. And as a Jew, I am saying... I think I can get away with saying this.  I think that we need to not... we need to not bow down. We need to not become the Democrats of the 80s. This is too important and Trump is going to give us opportunities to cut him down and we need to take them. And we need to... and I really... Trump is really counterproductive. We need to not forgive the people in our life that are supporting him. I agree. We need to make them understand what they have traded for their support of him. I agree. I am not going to sacrifice my core values to maintain relationships. I agree. Amen, brother. And also never ever introduce a female stand-up by calling her pretty. That's just... You know that story. What? Is that a real story? That's something that I've... that I've noticed in the last few years of that just because we were talking about it earlier that a perfect example of treating women because I just did something that's been in my mind treating women like women. I did not notice until well into my adulthood if you look at the older the movie you look at the more women are exclusively talked to in the context of being women. Like, look at old episodes of Star Trek. And it's like even then like women are just like it's like how can a woman's emotions be held in check in order to do this job or are you sure that your tits aren't going to get in the way of being able to figure out how this equipment works. I think that there's a lot to that and I think we need to... And also on the other side of being a good liberal... So you're saying that for dinosaurs like me my confusion and uncomfortability is something that is my problem and I better figure it out. I think a big part of the problem with this election is people not willing to adapt to change and I think people do need to be more willing to adapt to change but always look at it critically just like you look at your Facebook posts. Check your privilege in other words. Yeah, look white privilege does exist at the same exact time I think that there are a lot of people who need to realize that they're being unreasonable with the amount of scoring they think they're doing by cutting down people who are on their side. I think that this shows us that liberals need to stop feeling like their job is to simply make the number of them smaller and actually look at the people who are on your side and try to make the world better and not cut them down simply because you feel like it makes you look harder core. Let me ask you, we have to go ahead. No, no, no, I was just going to say that I think that one thing that makes me extremely upset with liberals or people that I've spoken to in the past is that there is just sort of this lack of passion of teaching or helping other people understand. I think that to ask you to know how to treat women in this day and age through osmosis is insane and I think that there is a responsibility for other I had something earlier this year where a kid used a word or a slur in the wrong context and he's young and didn't understand and a group of people almost mob mentality started just shutting him down and yelling at him and the kid genuinely didn't understand that what he was doing was offensive. Can I guess? What? Key word? No.  I think it's our job to teach people. Okay, so let me ask you a question because I have a very vociferously opinionated audience and I get angry I get love and I get criticism. I don't think you know there's that Lenny Bruce book how to talk to a black person you know on this show as we move forward and we do have to wrap it up we're in an echo chamber and I accept that. I've tried to have Trump supporters on this show and I've tried to have and people just get really pissed off and I understand why because you can hear them someplace else so I get it that this show especially in the next two or three years is going to be an echo chamber but it's okay to be an echo chamber but you have to give marching orders talking points and instructions and then be funny we're going to keep the comedy going but it's you know I really need to figure out how to do this show in the next 70 days like what do I do in the next 70 days and lead up to Trump I don't want to sound self important but you know I got a lot of listeners and they are expecting me to do something you complain about not being funny you're one of the smartest people I know I don't need to worry about you being funny. I do because I don't think that anything I say is worth listening to unless it's funny and you're one of the smartest people I know thank you so much so I don't need to worry about you guys there will be a time and a place to be funny I just need to figure out how to do this show for the next year and I welcome your comments at David Feldman show.com I know a lot of you are angry that I did a show about cats I stand by it I wasn't in the mood to discuss the election which is fine we did a show about cats and we ignored it I don't think we can just live off hate for four straight years of him that sounds exhausting yeah again there's a lot of whining going on but you got to take action I do a radio show with Ralph Nader nader.org go listen to it if you want marching orders so call Elizabeth Warren's office at<PHONE_NUMBER> and ask her to run for president and challenge Senator Schumer she should be the minority leader that's Elizabeth Warren read about Elizabeth Warren call the ACLU and give them money give money to the ACLU 1-800-798-7092 is the number for Planned Parenthood even if you donate five bucks it adds up let's plug some gigs Dave Cyrus how do people contact you? go to the twitter Dave Cyrus Cyrus spelled like virus with an S and check my YouTube if you want to see me harassing hate groups in a much different time in America that was quaint and they were a minority by just looking up brick stone anywhere we never got to talk about that I started doing that before gay marriage was legal at a time when it actually was slightly subversive to get in the face of an anti-gay protester and make them feel stupid now it feels like cheerleading so that's why it doesn't really have the appeal that it once had to me also I'm busy now also I'm busy you can go to 2bushes.com which is my website for between 2bushes that I have my partnership with Lacey Jekka we actually have a show coming up on November 26 at the bell house at 7.30 we're going to be featuring comedians Collin Quinn, Julio Torres Jordan Carlos and Will Miles when is Greg, is that the day after Thanksgiving? two days after Thanksgiving because Greg Groups is there on Friday oh really? Black Friday yeah so we're doing a show called dog day after night all proceeds are going to be going to badass Brooklyn Animal Rescue because we wanted to do something light and fun saving the cats we're saving animals, I think they do mostly dogs because cats are murderers my cats are serial killers they are funny and cute and I love them but they're sociopaths we are doing a benefit for the ACLU at QED Friday November 18 is it November 19th or 18th? Friday November 18th swipe left the great John Fugel saying Frank Conniff, Jeffrey Joseph, Jessica Curson the show starts at 7.30 all profits go to the ACLU tickets are $10 let me repeat swipe left with John Fugel saying Frank Conniff Jeffrey Joseph, Jessica Curson tickets are $10 I'll be on the show but you should come anyway all the profits go to the ACLU Friday November 18th at QED and I want to thank the listeners because a lot of you have been emailing me about the show and you know we're going to keep doing it and I'm not going to, as Noam Chomsky said manufacture consent here I think somebody else coined that term manufacturing consent but I attributed it to Noam Chomsky we're going to do this show and we're going to give you information make you laugh and then give you marching orders it's not good enough to sit here and make jokes and whine you have to take action and the first thing to do is support the people on the show support us and I'm going to end by telling you first and foremost Elizabeth Warren's phone number is<PHONE_NUMBER> call her ask her to run for president and challenge Chuck Schumer for senate minority leader give to Planned Parenthood I hope I'm giving the right number out here 1-800-798-7092 maybe 7042 ACLU go to their website come to our benefit from the show brisk studios in downtown Manhattan that'll do it for us Howard Leib was on our show a few years back when he was running for state senate in New York he lost he is also an attorney with over 25 years experience in intellectual property law he is represented by the great Judy Collins Atlantic records universal entertainment rhino entertainment he has been called America's leading children's entertainment attorney by billboard magazine he is taught law at New York University the fashion institute of technology Kaplan University and produces CDs and DVDs he's an active member of the New York Democratic Lawyer Association where he works to protect and expand voter rights he is chair emeritus of the Cardoza school of law alumni association and a past member of their board of trustees he lives in Ithaca New York where he and his wife live happily ever after and you do a radio show on the same station the Ralph Nader radio hour is on which I'm a part of hello there Howard Leib hello there David Felton how are you today I'm very good Mr. Leib you and I both went to college with president Obama yeah the last good president the last or maybe just the last president I don't have time we hope not yeah so I you know time moves on you and I don't have time for people you were helping me about two years ago we were going to try to set up some kind of 501c3 that would hold the FCC's feet to the fire and create more low power radio stations and stop the merger of universal and was it Comcast what are they not Comcast was it Comcast and did that that went through anyway you're a poll watcher and you were watching the polls for John Kerry in 2004 and we haven't talked in a while I don't want to go over what happened I want to go over what we have to do and there is that's the way we should look I mean whatever happened in the past will let other people beat their shoulders and heads and figure out who got it wrong and how we've got to look forward for the next four years the federal level is going to be kind of really screwed up our side can play obstruction and I hoping we will and we can get on the case of our representatives if you live in a place where they Republican or gopher as I call them in my newsletter representatives but there's not a lot we can do then but at the state level which is where this all started there's a lot we can do if you live in a state where the redistricting is being done in a very partisan manner look and see if there's a way to get a ballot initiative on for independent redistricting in fact the former Attorney General Eric Holder and President Obama are going to be working on that very issue over the next several years Holder started a new movement for saying and fair redistricting in New York State where I am we have an opportunity in 2017 to vote for a constitutional convention okay so there's a lot you're covering let's go into the weeds step by step because I think a lot of people are overwhelmed somebody I know can't get out of bed her back went out and I say well you know maybe if you turned off MSNBC your back would feel better so let's talk pragmatically because you're the person I call when I need advice on how to proceed so if our listeners because we have listeners all over the world if you're an American citizen let's talk on a federal level and then we'll dig down to city and state tell me what I can do as a citizen in a red or blue state to obstruct the Republicans in Washington right now what can I do right now I'm not talking about I don't believe it's a fed-up complete that Donald Trump is going to get inaugurated so I this is a game of inches what do we do right now to keep him from getting inaugurated well you can get him in a twitter fight that's easy to do might discourage a few electors but the idea of the electoral college not voting for Trump while not 100 are small these are people who were elected to do exactly that there's some stuff that I'm going through I keep checking the electoral map the New York Times interactive electoral map I keep thinking they're going to find some more votes in Philadelphia they're going to find some more votes in in Michigan is there any way just you need to disabuse me of my delusion there is no way they're going to find any votes in Wisconsin Michigan and Pennsylvania correct? correct and the odds are so low as to make it not a good use of time to look in that direction okay so just get me out of this head because you're a guy I respect for you because you're a good liberal New York Jew who I've known since I was 18 and your heart was always in the right place and you walk the walk and you play the ground game you know you went to law school and you know you half the time you use your law degree to make money in the silly entertainment industry and the other half has spent teaching law and going out and monitoring the polls and running for state senate and fighting the ground game which is the hardest thing to do so my attempts to count ballots via the New York Times website is a fool's errand there is no way when all the provisional ballots and the absentee ballots are counted there is no way she is going to win these necessary swing states correct let me put it to you this way one, no two, you're watching it in the New York Times webpage isn't going to change it it's just like the guy sitting in bed watching in this episode okay so I'm going to stop doing that because I trust you getting the electoral college delegates what are they called what is their title electors in the swing states not to vote for Donald Trump well first off it doesn't have to be just a swing state all electors have again I don't think this is likely but I'll walk you through the process because I looked at this process okay hang on hang on you're smarter than I am and you know more than I do about this but I have to control the conversation because this is okay because this is because you're teaching me and we have to learn the way I learn and you are a teacher and you have a class to teach in exactly a half hour so let me ask you these questions she would need 270 electoral votes correct she is about what 40 shy that sounds right I don't have the numbers but that sounds right she got new answer yesterday okay so it's winner take all except I think in Nebraska and Maine correct where they give out a certain a certain number of electors based on congressional districts in those two states so that's in those two states so the issue now is can you find electors in red states and you're saying not necessarily swing states can you find say let's say 30 electors is that all it takes they the law does not well the law in some states do not find electors some states do which means they are legally obligated to go in and vote for who they were elected to if they're in one of those states but I mean it's never happened in a situation where it mattered so it's never been tested there have been what are called disloyal electors before but not many I handful the history of the country but if you could find sufficient to change their votes then there might be an action against them okay so okay you have to you have to go slowly with me we know the names of the electors they are probably find out the vote they are what people voted for them they are what it is probably possible to find I said find out a vote you can probably find them out it would not be easy but it can be done if the shoe were on the other tiny foot and donald trump was in the same situation that hillary clinton is in apparently she doesn't think she's in a situation but would the republicans be finding out who these electors are and intimidating them coercing them to change their vote I can't say no I can't say yes but there's very little I could pass them so why is why are the democrats not fighting for these electors they won the popular vote because we're not as slimy because we're not as slimy as they are is it slimy or is it constitutional we don't believe in the electoral college we're going to get to that in a second so I'm asking you is it slimy to obey the constitution we elect we have an electoral college because we don't trust the masses this is a madisonian view of democracy where the people can't be trusted to make their own choices that's why we have an electoral college it's part of the constitution so why don't we work the constitution why don't we work the electors we have you know 60 more days when do they cast their ballots these electors very beginning of january I think 4th or something so we have about you know 6 weeks why is there no effort to work the electors find out who they are and work them that's not sleazy that's following the constitution it's being smart you can certainly make the argument it is why the founding fathers created the electoral college they simply did not trust the masses meaning us and that's why senators weren't even elected directly according to what I just popped up Hillary right now has 232 so you would need to flip 38 electors that's a lot that would be a multiple of the number of electors who had flipped in the history of the country well what if there's a full court press in other words why is she conceding in less than 12 hours why are they not fighting this that I can't tell you you have to ask God for justice to that one because they don't feel the sting of a Trump presidency but this is the kind of thing where we have to go in and demand that they you start fighting now not when he gets inaugurated now and I'm surprised at you that you're not thinking this well let me tell you why I'm not because after the Al Gore debacle I actually sat down with my computer and started to pull up the electoral college delegates and such all we needed to do was flip one back then and then Gore conceded and I stopped but what I discovered and what is the case is it might be possible and underlying might 400 times to disqualify an electorate to there's almost no requirement in the constitution for who can be an elector but you do have to be a citizen of the state in which you were elected and I believe you cannot be an employee of the federal government I think those are the requirements and my belief is we are so lax about the electoral college because we don't care about it that probably one or two slipped by who are employed by the federal government or something like that but if you don't get to 270 if all we managed to do was get these mythical 38 and it might only be 22 because Michigan still hasn't been called these mythical electors to say okay I just won't vote I can't vote for Hillary they say because they ran as Republican electors that's not enough if we don't get Hillary to 270 it goes to the House of Representatives there is no question who the House of Representatives is going to elect as the new president and it's not going to be our side well I mean look Arizona has 11 electoral votes correct John McCain loathes Donald Trump he can't help us in Florida there are 29 electoral college votes there's nobody in the Republican Party Jeb Bush can't get a couple of electoral votes to switch South Carolina South Carolina has 9 votes is Lindsey Graham South Carolina I think he is yes he can't get some people to switch Pennsylvania has 20 there's nobody Ohio Kasich 18 votes in Ohio he can't get some votes to switch I mean is this guy dangerous or not Texas 38 electoral votes there's nobody in the Bush family George Herbert Walker George W they can't finally do something right do you really see any of that as a reality these people are going to step up in a way they have never done before to do something that has never been done before in the face of having to what will be viewed as to win the party all of these people have spent a lifetime in you really see them putting the country ahead of their party there are 6 votes in Utah where Mitt Romney is from and he spoke out against the dangers of Donald Trump that's right but the electoral you can see why work why not work the constitution why are we giving up before the inauguration even if you lose you're sending a signal that we don't accept this and that we're going to fight you every step of the way why are you thinking so big when you right in front of you and this is the problem with us work the problem in front of your nose and the problem in front of your nose is that in early January you're going to be inaugurate the electoral college is going to validate normalize a racist rapist misogynist who surrounds himself with anti-Semites and shouldn't be anywhere near our nuclear codes and he lost the popular vote so where's our ground game why aren't we stopping this we're not stopping it I don't think there's anyone who knows or there's any organized movement to begin this it hasn't started where are the lawyers we're the side of the enlightenment this is not about lawyers David this is not about lawyers this is not a lawsuit this is not you run the court somebody prevent them from voting for Trump this is at best their friends and family they find knowing who they are and talking to them and persuading right but it requires lawyers it requires constitutional lawyers to get on the tv to get a movement going it requires president obama a constitutional law professor to to say hold on one second we have a constitution where nation of laws the only reason this guy is going to be president is the only reason george w bush was president and that is because we have a constitution the silly electoral college well it turns out you can work the electoral college so he hasn't been I'm hearing a very pain primal scream coming from you that I understand completely but all these people who are Trump delegates who at some point ran because they supported Trump remember that are not going to be persuaded by president obama getting on the tv you might be I might be but that's not who the audience is that you're looking to reach you know what you can win a fist fight but I might throw enough punches to your head but then in a year you have CET I may be down and passed out and you're the victor but you have CET you have plaque in your brain now because I punched your head so hard there are ways to lose man you know there are also ways to keep fighting there are ways we're not fighting what is wrong with us going over you have to fight them every step of the way what is your now you know more than I do let me hear your Ralph Nader and everybody has their big grand plan that we had in the year 2000 we're going to make it easier for people to vote and we were going to some people said get rid of the electoral college now what are the intellectuals you know I love you but what there's becoming more and more questionable discussion goes up there's a lot of freedom that comes with stupidity howie you need people like me who don't know what they're talking about so what is your there's no greater power than ignorance who said that Jules Piper so you want a constitutional convention well that's New York state that's not federal New York state every 20 years puts on the ballot a question of whether we should have a constitutional convention 20 years ago the voters said no 20 years before that they said yes and then turned down everything that was proposed but November 2017 is the next go round and yes for lots of reasons not the least of which is voter protection issues and some term limits on state legislatures and governor wouldn't be so bad either and there's this Ralph Nader's talking about various states joining together to make sure that their electoral what are they called electors and the electoral college can only the popular vote initiative I think is what you're talking about right and that they have to agree that no matter who wins the popular vote their electors have to vote that way you don't need all 50 states you just need Ohio, Florida Arkansas not Arkansas what am I talking about Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Michigan, Florida they would have to change their laws I mean right now I just popped up and I'm looking at it Michigan, North Carolina South Carolina if an elector violates what they're supposed to do they're just replaced by somebody who'll do it or they're fined a thousand dollar fine North Carolina's 500 Oklahoma's a thousand but what is the fine in Arizona say Texas Arizona doesn't seem to have this provision I don't see one for Texas either Florida Florida has one but the side I'm looking at doesn't specify what it says it says they're found by state law to cast their vote for specific candidates but it doesn't say what the penalty is if they don't Florida and then is the vote counted if they're fined do they still have to count well again in North Carolina and Michigan no the elector is polled that a new person has put in to cast the vote correctly Florida I don't know alright maybe I'm an ignoramus no you're just angry you've every right to be I mean she's gonna win the popular vote by about 2 million when all is said and done right well last time I saw it was about 700,000 but who knows what it'll be at the end yeah once California you know is there any value to the electoral college because it protects the tyranny of the coasts I mean isn't that isn't there some virtue to the electoral college the reason the electoral college will never be taken down is because it needs to be by a constitutional amendment and you need enough states to vote for it to pass it and states like Iowa which makes huge amounts of money every four years and New Hampshire which makes huge amounts of money every four years because of the presidential election would make nothing because nobody would ever go to New Hampshire to get the vote they'd only go to New York California Texas maybe Michigan Ohio states that have voters and so the small states will never vote for it it's not in their interest either economically or in terms of political power so isn't there a virtue then to the electoral college I mean shouldn't isn't this a war a football game that requires brilliance and doesn't this serve as an indictment of Hillary for not being able to win a ground game I mean isn't that don't we want a president who is smart enough to win the ground game to know if you if you can't figure out how to beat Donald Trump in the electoral college are you really that great a mind this goes against what we said we were going to do which is look back and see what went wrong I'm wondering if it's worth the effort to change the electoral college maybe it's to go into Pennsylvania Ohio and Wisconsin and Texas and figure out why they're so red I think there's a lot of truth in that you know what there's this what do we do instead of trying to get rid of the electoral college which is a fool's errand I like I do like this idea of the popular vote initiative you know forcing electors to go with the popular vote that seems easier than a constitutional amendment I mean I've heard you know public citizen which I love they're they want a constitutional amendment to overturn citizens united and it's like give me a break you know you forget the constitutional amendments it's never going to happen the con the citizens united would be easier than the electoral college he should not have won this election no he should not and we're going to suffer for it for a generation to come and when you say generation do you mean like from W to Obama I mean for the next 20 to 30 years because he's going to appoint a supreme court I have 10 minutes left my friend all right give us marching orders tell my listeners what to do get we every four years we all get really excited and focus on the presidential election and then the majority of us disappear for four years that's our biggest mistake it's the mistake the Tea Party didn't make the Tea Party organized the state organized vigilant and thought every day of every year if we're not willing to do that we're going to keep losing we need to organize at state and local levels we need to build our way up take over state legislatures 2020 is not just the next presidential election it is the next legislature that will set up the voting districts for Congress as well as locally if we have not taken over legislatures across this country by 2020 we have another decade of the same stuff coming at us because we will never take back the House of Representatives we need to organize at that level at a congressional level district in order to get congressmen elected you need to organize at a state house level in order to elect state legislatures that last is so important and no one pays attention to it if your listeners do nothing else start looking at your state legislatures it's where real change can happen very fast well yeah well I just looked up the democrats won the popular vote in the senate and in the house too again in the house yeah we won the popular vote everywhere the house however we don't win because of the way it's districted that's one of the things that your state legislature will change in 2020 this is interesting this is according to USA Today so far 45.2 million Americans cast a vote for a democratic senate candidate 39.3 million Americans voted for a republican senate candidate and yet the republicans control the senate because the states where we win most of the time we win overwhelmingly the states where we lose we lose narrowly there's a lot of what is called in the literature wasted votes now according to town hall is this true this is town hall it's a right wing rag as the left grapples with hillary shocking electoral loss many are voting pointed to her popular vote as a victory but let me just see here they keep popping up this can't be right they lost congress the popular vote for congress who lost the republican they voted congress according to USA Today republicans their quoting town hall is linking to an article in USA Today and they say republicans captured the majority of the popular vote for the house on election day collecting about 56.3 million votes while democrats got 53.2 million according to USA Today calculations with a few races still undecided so this is an example of town hall a right wing rag yeah so they're linking to a false story or they're just making it up Mr. F.


Have you ever asked yourself how you grew to become the person you are today? How did you grow from a baby to the person you see in the mirror? Does this process have anything to do with how plants grow? And what about bacteria? Well, today we are going to discuss a process known as cell division, which is involved in answering all of these questions. Cell division has many functions, which may be different in different organisms. Its primary functions are involved in the reproduction of single-celled organisms, in the growth and development of cells, and in the renewal of tissues. And this whole process involves duplicating genetic material to produce daughter cells. Now there are different types of cell division, such as binary fission, mitosis, and meiosis. And all of these processes replicate the cell's genetic material before starting the process of division. So, first we are going to explore binary fission, which is the main method of asexual reproduction in prokaryotes. The process involves splitting one mother cell into two diploid daughter cells with identical genetic material. So here's what the process of binary fission looks like. Note that this is involving a prokaryote with circular DNA. Replication starts at the origin of replication, which splits into two, duplicating itself. And we can see this origin of replication in red at the top of the diagram on the right. Next, the origins of replication migrate to opposite poles of the cell, and the rest of the DNA is duplicated as this happens. The cell then pinches to make a cleavage phyro, and eventually this pinch results in the split of the cell into two identical daughter cells. Moving on to mitosis, this is a process that helps eukaryotes grow through asexual reproduction. Similarly, to binary fission is a process that starts with a mother cell dividing into two identical and new daughter cells. Now, we can view mitosis by splitting the cell's life cycle into six phases, which are the prophase, the metaphase, the anaphase, the telephase, and cytokinesis, or IPMAT-C for short. So here is what the six phases look like, and note that the largest phase is the interphase, which is split into a G1, an S, and a G2 phase. Mitosis then occurs, which includes the prophase, metaphase, anaphase, and telephase, followed by cytokinesis, which marks the end of mitosis. This is where the cell prepares for cell division, and it consists of the G1 phase, where the cell grows and copies organelles, the S phase, where the cell synthesizes a new copy of DNA in the nucleus, and the G2 phase, in which the reorganization of cell contents and further growth occurs. During prophase, the genetic material within the cell's nucleus becomes condensed into chromosomes so that they do not become entangled with one another. There is also the beginning of the formation of mitotic spindles, which are involved in the next phase. And finally, the nuclear envelope starts to break down. During metaphase, chromosomes begin aligning along the cell middle, known as the metaphase plate. Centrosomes, which are organelles that hold the spindle fibers, lie at the end of the cell. And the spindles then reach out of these centrosomes and attach to the chromosomes that are aligned along the middle. In the anaphase, sister chromatids are pulled apart, and note that chromatids are one half of a duplicated chromosome, and sister chromatids are the identical copies of a chromosome that are joined together by a common centromere. So the split sister chromatids, now their own chromosomes, now move to the poles of the cell, and the cell then begins to elongate. And we can see this in this diagram here. In the telophase, two new nuclei start to form, one for each of the daughter cells that will remain after mitosis. Chromosomes then decondense, and the cleavage fire begins to form, similar to in binary fission. Cytokinesis is simply the moment where the pinching of the cell finally results in the two daughter cells. So it is the final cleavage of the material that results in the two cells. For some extra information, this complete division is facilitated by the construction of actin filaments in animals, but by the growth of a cell plate in plants. So this is what this overall process looks like with the interphase, prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase, and cytokinesis. And note that this process starts off with one cell and ends with two diploid cells, which are identical to the original one. We'll now move on to meiosis, which is similar to mitosis in some ways, but some of the differences are outlined below. Firstly, the cell cycle we previously discussed does not just occur once like in mitosis, but it actually occurs twice, with the exception of the interphase, which only happens once in both. These two cycles are known as meiosis one and meiosis two. Secondly, meiosis results in four haploid cells, meaning they contain one set of chromosomes. And lastly, these haploid daughter cells are different to the diploid mother cell, unlike mitosis, where the mother and the daughter cells are identical. So this is an overview of what this process looks like, and let's try to pick out some differences when comparing to the process of mitosis. We can see that the prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase, and cytokinesis occur twice, eventually resulting in four daughter cells. Another key difference to realize is in metaphase one, or M1, where homologous pairs of chromosomes align on either side of the equatorial plate in the cell, unlike mitosis, where individual chromosomes line along the equator. Now here, we have meiosis one summarized, and we now know most of these processes from learning about mitosis. But just note that there are some differences, such as the fact that crossing over occurs, the process by which chromosomal segments can be switched between two homologous chromosomes, resulting in the recombination and exchange of genetic material. And again, to repeat, in metaphase one, homologous pairs align on either side of the equator, rather than individually on the equator, like in mitosis. And here is the process of meiosis two. The main thing to note here is that the result of this process is four haploid daughter cells, as previously discussed. This table presented here nicely summarizes everything we learned today, and is a good representation of the differences between these three types of cell division.