Her cheating and lies garnered my unfiltered fury, so I did not just want to divorce her, I wanted to leave her life in shambles and total destruction. And I'll make sure to drop the nuke on Merry Christmas. This most epic nuclear revenge episode features a Christmas special on cheating that will blow you away. From betrayal to double crossing, from Machiavellian schemes to an extreme level of ghosting, spoil yourself and stick till the end. Because the conclusion is intense and unexpected, resulting in total heartbreak from all angles. Warning, if you feel empathy towards cheaters, you shouldn't watch this remastered episode. I hope you've got some time and a snack. Because this one is going to be deep as the events that follow span from late 2019 to last week. My soon-to-be ex was my high school sweetheart. We started dating in 1992 when we were both 17, we're both 45 now, and have been together ever since.  We married five years later at 22, fresh out of college. A year later, we had our first of two children, both boys, 22 and 17. 23 years I gave to her, built her a house, worked my arse off to give her the life she wanted. Sure, we had rough patches, but what marriage doesn't? Even in the worst of times, we found a way to pull through and come out the other side better, which made the discovery of her affair that much more jarring. Flashback to March 2020, when I first got the feeling something was off. For a good two months prior, we were in a funk. I was on the mend from reconstructive knee surgery, blew out my ACL fall 2019, but still lacking in movement. At the time, I only had about 55% range of motion on my knee. This took a toll on quite a lot in the house. I was out on workers comp as I had been injured on the job and I was unable to do my usual household duties. So a lot got backed up. My sons would do what they could, but tasks only I was capable of doing had to be put on the back burner. Or my wife had to do, which she wasn't pleased with. Things also crawled to a standstill in the bedroom between us. It had already slowed down prior to my injury, but in the state I was in at the time, it completely stopped. During these months, she, we'll call her Sue, was spending more time hanging with coworkers after work. Between November 2019 to March 2020, it was a regular occurrence for her. Naturally, I thought nothing of it. I've never in the 23 years I'd been with her had any reason to worry or not trust her. She has her friends, I have mine, and we have mutual ones. I'd go hang out with my friends all the time and there was no issue. It was all above board. It was around January of this year that I noticed. Something odd. Sue started getting noticeably distant with me. Sure, we were in a funk, but she'd never deny me affection to that point. The usual hugs and kisses she'd give me came to a halt. Her phone was attached to her hand long before my suspicion grew, but she'd always share and show me things she'd discovered on the web. Do-it-yourself ideas and recipes online, memes, all kinds of stuff. But she was now being guarded about her phone. Even her interactions with me became more snippy as if she couldn't be bothered. So we're now in March. The virus has arrived and New York City is locked down. Our chosen careers fall under the essential designation, so neither of us have to work from home. I'd just been recently cleared to return to work after five months on the shelf and I was eager to get back after it, as five months on my arse rehabbing my knee and not being able to do physical stuff drove me nuts. For context, I enjoy physical activities. I'm an avid martial artist and I'm typically in the gym four days a week on top of all of the home projects I did. Within a week or two of the lockdown, my soon-to-be ex alerts me that she's going to have to start putting in extra hours. Again, I think nothing of this because of her field. Of course, I was under the assumption that it'd be every other day, but no, it was every day. And not just an hour or two.  As I'm able to support myself on my knee better, we started getting intimate again. But as you'd probably guess, she wasn't mentally or emotionally present for it, which I noticed quickly. So by early April, the picture started getting clearer to me. All of the signs were pointing to the idea that she was having an affair. That's when I decided I needed to find answers. So I scoured the internet on things I should be looking for, signs of infidelity in one's partner. Sure enough, she was pretty much ticking all of the boxes on such behavior. So then my search inquiry advanced to how to find proof. I started with her social media. Looking at her Facebook entries from months prior, it's pretty much the usual. Pictures of us and our sons, pictures with her and her friends, and a more than a few pics of her nights out with coworkers. In these pics, it's a mixed bag of her closest friends from work and a couple folk I've never met from her work. A recurring thing in a number of these pictures. One guy. In every picture he's in, he's rather uncomfortably close to her.  Way too close. For a guy I've never personally met, needless to say, that put a sour taste in my mouth. But that wasn't the worst of it. No, no, no. The worst was the fact that apparently this dude is a friend of hers on Facebook and follows her on Instagram. So I go to look up his Facebook account and wouldn't you know it? I'm blocked. Why in the world am I blocked from seeing this guy's profile, but he's friends with my wife on Facebook? Yep. Now I'm in Batman detective mode. At that point, I wasn't even trying to deny it. I knew she was cheating on me with this guy. My mission was to find out for how long, and over the course of April and May, that's what I did. You know, I never had any clue the depth of info you could secure from phone, text, and email records. Up until then, we have a family plan cell phone package and I was able to pull up quite a bit of data. My cheating wife's data history was telling. The two most frequent numbers she had interacted with from October 2019 to April 2020 was my own and a number I'd never seen before. Take a wild guess whose number it was. A quick check on Google and I confirmed it was the dude from the photos who blocked me from his profile. We'll call him pencil neck because that is what he is. Again, the picture becomes even clearer at this point. But a lot of their messages and texts were disjointed, which meant she was deleting a lot of them. I knew she was cheating on me with this guy but nothing in the data could serve as a smoking gun. I needed more evidence. It's at this point that I tell my best friend Marco what I had found. He asked me if I confronted her with what I had and I said no because I felt like it wasn't enough. That's when he told me about an app that I could download to apparently spy on her communications in real time. I won't say the name but I got it installed, my data plan and waited. Within days of doing so I finally saw it. A text string between the two of them talking about how much fun they'd had the previous night and making plans to do it again that weekend. Boom. Gut punch. To say I was completely devastated was an understatement. I guess that moment counts as my D-day and for the next two days after I was just broken. I actively distanced myself from her those two days immediately after D-day which she was noticeably shaken by. She tried to console me and asked me what was wrong but I'd brush it off and leave her presents. I couldn't even look at her. This woman who I gave 23 years of my life to who I have given everything I could and more to as a husband and she stepped outside of our marriage for a guy just 5 years older son. By the third day I wasn't even sad anymore. I was pissed. I contacted Marco to let him know my suspicion was confirmed and he asked me if I had confronted her yet. My answer was no and I told him I wanted payback. I didn't want to just divorce her I wanted to destroy her. I wanted to leave her life in shambles and ultimately ruin her. It was going to take time to do so and I devised a plan. In my readings and research on infidelity I had saw a quote that resonated with me that went the enemy of infidelity is unpredictability or something to that that was going to be the basis of my plan. I was going to make her life a raging inferno on wheels while also secretly planning my exit strategy. So we're now in early June and I've still got the app installed. Pretty much every night I'm gathering as much data as I can seeing their back and forth messages. They're talking like it's a full blown relationship they're in about sexy time lovey-dovey romantic stuff nudes the whole bag. At that point I had stopped looking at any of it I was just collecting info and cataloging on my private FPS server. Meanwhile I start doing things in memory. I start going out at odd times. I start coming home even later than she does. In her presence I'm on my phone a lot more than usual and when she asks what are you up to? I just simply say just stuff and put my phone away. I'd also changed my log in info on everything so she couldn't access any of my stuff. Mind you for our entire marriage we'd never hid anything from each other. But right around I'm assuming the start of her affair she'd changed her password on Facebook as well as on her phone stating she had to because of the security breaches in recent months. Yeah, really nice cover for hiding your affair from your husband. Anyway, I'd clued Mark Owen on my plan as well as telling my older and only sister and two more of my closest friends what was going on. These are people I trust with my life and I swore them to secrecy. For context, Marko and I have been friends since we were kids. The other of our friends, Joey and Nina, we've known since high school. Make note of Nina she comes into play down the road. July comes and my wife is in full paranoia mode. She's texting and calling me a lot more frequently now asking me if I'm going to be home when she gets home. When am I coming home while she is and I'm not asking me what am I up to? The works.   She's confiding in him her doubt and confusion, telling him that I'm getting cold and distant the freaking nerve of this woman. In the interim of these interactions with pencil neck, she suggests that maybe they should stop meeting up at our house because she has no idea if I just show up confirming that yes, she's had this frikwit in my home where I sleep. Thanks, Sue. Pencil neck asks her specifically if she was worried about me potentially cheating on her which actually pissed her off. I can't even begin to describe the level of joy and how many laughs I got out of reading that exchange. My cheating wife arguing with her affair partner over if she's mad her husband could be cheating on her. Oh, the freaking irony. Now bear in mind, I'm not hooking up with anyone. When I leave I'm usually at Marco or Joey's throwing back some booze, watching fights and spending time with my guys or at my big sister's house hanging with her and my brother-in-law who's like an older brother to me. My sister is 52 and her hubby is 58. She had told him about my wife's infidelity but not of my plan couldn't risk it as he's a bit of a blabbermouth. We'll fast forward now to October. That's when things seriously pick up. I've been in my faux affair for three months now and Sue is hyper aware of the fact that I'm actively pulling away from her. It's been as long as the day I enacted my plan until the day she confronted me October 20th 2020 that I'd even touched her. No hugs no kisses, no initiation of intimacy, nothing. Not like she needed it she was still rocking with pencil neck just at his place or at motels. So that afternoon she calls me at work, which wasn't rare before all this began but certainly hadn't happened in a while and asked me to come straight home after work saying she had something important to tell me. I'm not going to lie to you all, I half believed she was going to come clean about her fidelity but she of course didn't.  She cites the fact that I've been spending way too much time away from home. I don't show her affection anymore and our bedroom life has completely died. She tells me she's worried I'm pushing her away because I was resentful of how she treated me the months I was rehabbing my knee and then came the punchline she freaking asked are you cheating on me? Folks, I fell out on the floor laughing hysterically and when I say hysterically I mean Joker laughing gas hysterical.  I'm tearing up pounding on the floor in complete hysterics for a good two minutes before I compose myself enough to answer.   You know what given the brevity of what happened I wanted to see what she was telling him so I fire up the app and sure enough they're actually texting in real time. She tells Pencilneck I know he's cheating on me I asked him tonight and he literally laughed in my face. He fell on the floor and laughed for like five minutes it wasn't five minutes obviously he doesn't even care how I feel anymore I don't know how or why but he's gone. I know I've lost him this is karma. I know it. The smile I had on my face reading that must have resembled the Cheshire cat she was breaking. Pencilneck attempted to console her saying that if I cared enough for her she wouldn't have had come to him to give her what I wasn't giving her but the tone of her responses told me she was having doubts now she had the nerve to step out of our marriage because I was unable to fulfill my role as a husband due to legitimate injury and kept the affair going for nearly an entire year but the idea of her losing me to another woman was enough to make her waiver what a shameless weakling now during all of this I was also exacting the second part of my plan for payback getting all of my affairs in order financially in September I had met with a family attorney to get the ball rolling on divorce paper with the mountain of evidence I'd piled up to that point New York is an at-fault state as far as divorce and the overwhelming amount of proof I'd gathered displaying Sue's infidelity pretty much solidified I could nail her to the freaking wall in a divorce case my lawyer instructed me to get all of my financials in order in preparation for whatever division of assets might come as result I went one better than that pulling all of my money out of our joint account and putting it in my personal account I also started shopping around for an apartment as part of phase two we're now in November and I've not changed my behavior in fact I've ramped it up this is where my friend Nina comes into play for context Nina and Sue have never been what you call close I met Nina during freshman year of high school two years before I met Sue even way back then Sue has seen Nina as a threat as she's my closest female friend there's always been an implied I don't trust her from Sue regarding Nina she's never addressed it directly but it's obvious to anyone who pays attention conversely Nina's never been a big fan of Sue early in me and Sue's relationship Nina called to attention to me how Sue was pretty much imposing herself into our little square of friends whereas I didn't do the same with Sue's set of friends that irked Nina because she knew why Sue was doing it because of her among Sue's circle even now there are no male friends aside from pencil neck whereas Nina is the only girl in my square Nina had been stuck overseas due to the virus and finally returned to New York on November 3rd Marco, Joey and I decided to celebrate her return with a night at Joey's house for dinner and drinks there was only five of us Marco, Joey, Joey's wife who is also Nina's sister Nina and myself Nina being the evil mastermind she is comes up with an evil idea to trigger Sue she suggested we take some photos in the same vein of the photos I discovered of Sue and pencil neck months prior and post them to my Facebook and that's just what we did it wasn't until the fifth that Sue got wind of it as I'm guessing a few friends notice my updates and saw how uncomfortably close I was with Nina this really messed her mind up because she still believed I was cheating and I can almost guarantee she wanted to accuse Nina but she knew that Nina had been stuck in Europe for the majority of the year still didn't stop her from attempting to dress me down that night so as she said handsy in the pics I saw this as a golden opportunity to deliver the lead jab for my knockout blow I say so what about the pics with you and pencil neck from last year he was pretty handsy in them but did you see me get bent out of shape over it dear in headlights it was the first time I even mentioned the dude's name throughout all of this the hamster wheel in her head reeling in real time as she tried to explain away those pics to that point she hadn't even known I saw them that's how little I use Facebook when I actually do post something it's like an event to people which is why the pics with Nina specifically got so much traction among our circles and explain away she did he's that way with everyone he's just a really friendly guy I can see how it looks nothing there I'm sorry if those pictures hurt you I'll delete them no no the pics aren't what hurt me I thought the year you've been jumping the dude whilst lying to me that you're working extra hours and hanging with friends is what hurt me but I kept it to myself biting my tongue once again but wait because vengeance is a dish best served cold from that night Sue was being extra specially clingy and attentive to me like annoyingly so she's trying to initiate affection and intimacy with me and I'd stonewall her at every chance all the while I'm still archiving everything she's saying to pencil neck mind you by this point I'd long since gone numb any desire I might have had to save my marriage was dead I checked out the day I enacted the first phase of my plan she's confiding in him that I've gotten worse that she doesn't know what to do and she feels like I absolutely hate her which I do then comes the bombshell she says she can't see him anymore the guilt is too much for her and she feels like karma is suffocating her she can't risk losing me she says that she loves pencil neck deeply but she's still in love with me and she has to save her marriage before she loses me no my dear you're about eight months too late for that pencil neck loses himself saying such lovely things as he doesn't love you the way I love you you're making a mistake you can't just throw me away like this that text chain would be the last they'd have until about three weeks ago throughout the remainder of November into December Sue is stuck in limbo she's trying to gauge where my head space is and is still unable to tell if I'm actually being unfaithful meanwhile pencil neck is steadily blowing her phone up daily but she's not responding to him I'd see her check her phone often then quickly put it away meanwhile phase two of the plan was now officially complete the divorce papers were done I'd found myself a studio apartment in co-op city New Yorkers will know the area and signed a two year lease on it all of my money was in my personal account I was ready to throw my haymaker so we're now at Thanksgiving my oldest son and his girlfriend were hosting a small gathering of our immediate families so we, my oldest son and his girlfriend, her parents Sue and our youngest have a great night his girlfriend is studying to be a chef and she did all the cooking herself the girl can cook let me tell ya as I had to keep up appearances of nothing being wrong between Sue and I I initiated affection with her several times that evening kisses on the cheek, cute little hugs wrapping my arms around her shoulders from behind the gestures didn't go unnoticed by her as she reveled in it bear in mind this was the first time I touched this woman since I kissed the top of her head the night she confronted me in October so just about two months not gonna lie I felt repulsed doing it but I had to I couldn't risk the plan and me being distant to her in the face of my boys my eldest's girlfriend and her parents would set off alarms so my youngest decides he wants to stay over with his big brother for the night so Sue and I head home on the drive home she thanks me for being so good to her and says I don't know what you're going through baby but I'm here for you I had to hold off busting out in maniacal laughter again and responded saying I know I just need time so for the first time realistically since springtime we did it that night I figured who cares with what I'm about to do may as well get some action before I delete her from my existence I won't go into detail but it wasn't love making when I was finished she was trying to figure out the direction of the truck that ran her over no cuddling or anything after I just got up showered and went to go sleep in my office to her confusion though I used protection first time two whole decades I did she was definitely perplexed by it but she didn't ask questions sure wasn't going without protection knowing that she'd been doing so with pencil neck for months at that point I wake up the next day and check the dandy spy app and for the first time in weeks she responded to pencil neck dude went full novella he professed his love for her said she was wasting her time trying to rekindle a flame in me that died that she'd been in a prison with me for 23 years and deserve to experience the love and affection of a man who would cherish her mind you this kid is 27 years old five years older than our oldest son and he's that brung on a 45 year old married mother of two what a grade a high quality simp she chose to blow up our marriage and destroy the home we built for the Lord of the simps pretty boy with a soft side she responded saying pretty much the same thing she said when last they talked that she loves him and enjoyed their time together but she can't lose me I'm still the love of her life but she'll always have a place for him in her heart that they can still be friends if he chooses but the physical relationship between them is over he begged her to see him one last time that week and yep you guessed it she said yes one more for the road right who am I to say anything that's what I did to her the previous night of course I added all of that to the archive I'd compiled December 4th is when phase three the final phase of operation shinobi ghost started the divorce papers were in hand my new place or residence was set up now I had to slowly start moving my stuff out of the house but first I had to break the news to my boys I called my oldest to the house that Friday night had them join me in my office and laid everything on that table not the specifics but that their mother had been cheating on me for over a year and I was going to be filing for divorce soon my seventeen year old was especially shaken up by this because he himself had recently experienced his first taste of infidelity yep his first girlfriend had cheated on him just four months prior seeing his heart broken a second time at the idea that his own mother was capable of doing this hit him really hard my oldest took it a lot better and suggested taking his brother in to live with him until this blows over to which I agreed we packed up some of his stuff and he asked me if I was going to be okay I told him yes son I'm going to be alright and so are you we're going to be alright I promise and then they were off the hardest part was now over and it was now time to arm the nukes over the next few weeks day by day Marco would help me get a little of my most sensitive stuff out of the house gave him a list of all of the definite stuff to grab while Sue and I were at work and left him the spare key this was all stuff Sue wouldn't notice was missing unless you told her it was gone I'd also gotten a new phone and phone number and told everyone who needed to know Marco, Joey, Nina my boys, Big Sis and my mother my new contact info meanwhile I'm keeping up the rouse with Sue and she's none the wiser trickling bits and pieces of affection to her just to keep her off of the trail while she's still in contact with pencil neck not to the extent that they'd been prior but they're still an emotional thing happening the fog is faint but it's still there all the while I gather everything and I do mean everything every bit of data I've archived since I started the plan call logs texts pictures emails everything and start making printouts folks I must have spent over a $1500 on staple supplies printer ink paper quality binders the works and I cataloged everything in order from the beginning of the affair until that last bit two weeks ago December 16th in the binders 14 of them I then put each one in a box and gift wrapped each addressing them to various people just my mother my father past seven years ago her parents her two sisters her brother her HR department did I forget to mention pencil neck works for the same company and there's an expressed rule against inter company relationships because of the nature of what she does several of her friends pencil neck and pencil necks parents lugged all of those devices of damnation to the post office and ship them all out December 16th estimated time of arrival for delivery December 22nd to 24th perfect so we're now at Christmas Eve Sue comes home around the usual time no idea if she'd seen pencil neck I'd stop tracking her on the app the 18th figure I'd gotten all the mileage I needed from it as per usual she showers hangs out with me a bit I blow her back out on the living room couch I know I'm the bad guy the toxic one and she turns in for the night the final phase was upon me at long last the nuke I have been arming since June was finally about to be launched in the middle of the night I woke up and wrapped up one of the three remaining binders with the divorce papers taped to the inside cover and set it on my side of the bed with a note that said Merry Christmas on it next to it I left my old phone and the business card of my lawyer I packed up the remainder of my most needed items enough to fill two backpacks and I left my home the home that I spent 23 years in for the last time to sue I am completely off the grid gone shadow ghosted she's blocked on facebook but still hasn't blocked me for some reason so I'm keeping tabs on the fall out it's absolutely glorious my packages have reached everyone I sent them out to and sue is getting crucified her youngest sister completely dressed her down both of her parents have condemned her my mom absolutely destroyed her like my god I know my mom has a mean streak but the thing she called sue were unfreaking holy she's been frantically trying to find out if anyone knows where I am but those that do aren't saying a word all over her facebook feed she's desperately trying to reach me because I'm guessing she knows I'm likely looking but I'm not saying a word to her without my lawyer present that'll be the next time I share oxygen with her she's got no way of spinning the narrative to paint me as the bad guy because I've exposed her to everyone who matters to her and from what I've heard from a mutual friend who works in the same company as her she and pencil neck apparently are being put on administrative leave as of tomorrow chances are she'll be going into next year unemployed as for the final two binders well one has been turned over to my lawyer as my final bit of evidence for my impending divorce and the last one I put in my storage unit to be burned in joey's fire pit when the divorce is final do I feel guilty about this no not even in the slightest 23 years I did right by this woman I gave her the home she wanted I gave her the family she wanted I gave her the life I felt we both deserved and I loved her unconditionally never have I faulted never have I strayed never have I even entertained the notion of breaking my vows when an issue came up that I felt was affecting our marriage I came to her and told her and we sorted it out as best we could she opted to find comfort in another man's bed rather than come to me and say she was unhappy with her dead life at the time she decided to step out with a young punk who gave her the tingles so no I have no sympathy for what I did or for her she can face eternal damnation for all I care the most I stand to lose is my house a car and maybe a couple hundred bucks a month in alimony but seeing as the divorce is filed under the statute of adultery and New York City is at fault that might get waved with the insurmountable she's dead to me as far as I'm concerned she's dead to me and I'm never looking back Christmas day was the first full day I spent in my new apartment it's still a work in progress as I have more stuff I want to get but overall I've made it my home since I'm going to be here for two years at least my boys and the eldest's girlfriend came over and spent a good portion of the day with me his girlfriend made and also whipped up a really nice meal I got to sit and talk with my sons in a way I hadn't done in a long time and it was nice my big sis also came over with more goodies and hung out with us it'd been the first time she'd seen her nephews in nearly a year having all of them around did me some real good as if I were by myself I think I would have just drank myself into a stupor everyone cleared out around eightish and I decided I wanted to go hang out with Joey and his wife Claudia hung out with them for a couple hours had a couple drinks and then went back home the next big development happened on five days later on the 29th of December around midday I get a text from Nina asking if I was busy that night I of course wasn't so we agreed to meet up after I got off of work she shows up and we go to a diner not far from where I work here in New York we're doing indoor dining at 25% capacity but there's mostly no trouble getting seats because so many of us choose to eat at home now regardless so after we're seated and order or food Nina pretty much lays all of her cards on the table and honestly I knew this was coming she basically confessed that she liked me all the way back since we were teenagers but never got the chance to tell me since Sue swooped in and scooped me up or she could for context I've known Nina longer than Sue by two years as I mentioned she's been the fourth point of my social square of myself Marco and Joey we were the social outcasts in high school the raver kids who didn't fit into all of the other clicks back then Nina had a weight problem and was diabetic she was the heavy set goth chick who was super cool but no guy would ever give a second glance at we always had chemistry though these days Nina is a personal trainer and yoga instructor she was the ugly duckling who grew into one stunning beautiful swan if I must say long story short we decided that upon the finalization of my divorce we are going to start seeing each other and yeah we did it that night took her back to my new fireside and we had a grand old time am I ashamed of sleeping with her no Nina's been a better friend to me than Sue ever was that's not saying Sue wasn't my best friend but through the near quarter of a century I've known Nina she has always supported me even so much so as I learned that she willingly took a step back from her own feelings to allow me to pursue and eventually start a life with Sue that resonated with me on a level I didn't think it would that kind of selflessness towards another person is the definition of real love I know it sounds like I'm just trying to justify in my head that sleeping with her was the right decision to me it was and I plan on exploring what's to come with Nina and I with total commitment okay on to yesterday the day I met my wife and her lawyer to discuss the divorce it's now been two weeks since I ghosted my cheating wife this past Monday I got a phone call and Sue's attorney wanted to schedule a meeting for us to discuss the terms of divorce I met with him the Tuesday morning to discuss the terms I wanted long story short, uncontested divorce under the grounds of marital neglect from Sue my terms are full division of assets and me selling my half of the house ownership to her she can have it we keep our respective vehicles I keep my cabin in the Poconos and under the pretenses of marital neglect she gets no spousal support from me as for our youngest son he's free to choose who he wants to reside with following the divorce which will most likely be me so Wednesday comes and I show up to my lawyer's office dressed in my Johnny cash best then my wife and her lawyer come in my wife well she looks like crap barely holding it together I proceed to give and hold the stone face I won't bore you with the lawyer babble but her lawyer presented an offer for terms of reconciliation I shot them down almost as soon as she finished listing the details of the request like I said I'll spare you the details of the meeting long story short we agreed to a legal separation leading to an uncontested divorce the only revision is that I will pay her $650 a month of temporary spousal support to cover the cost of utilities until she's gainfully employed again up to a year after the finalization yep she got fired for cheating with pencil neck he got canned as well I make enough that it won't hurt me financially even if she drags her feet finding a new job and she's got enough in her savings to live off of for quite some time once a full calendar year is passed after the finalization date of the divorce she's on her own small price to pay for being rid of her cheating us it'll take roughly three months for things to go through so early April if there's no problems I'll be free of her so after the meeting my lawyer gives me some final words before telling he'll be in touch to update me on the progress of the filing back out on the street Sue chases me down and asks if we can talk I figured I'd give her at least that she held it together fairly well in the meeting but outside let the waterworks flow saying how sorry she was and how she never meant it to go as far as it did she said I never expected to fall in love with pencil neck but when I thought you were cheating it made me realize how wrong it was to betray you my own husband in such a way can you find it in your heart to forgive me maybe we can start over in a few years she went on about how she couldn't imagine what her life is going to be without me I tell her to start imagining it soon because this will be the last time I ever speak to or see her I tell her that our oldest boy is almost a man and old enough to make his own choices as to his own future I say that I gave her half of my life and every ounce of love I had unconditionally and she in her own words fell in love with another man I add that there is absolutely no chance of me ever forgiving her that all of the love I had for her was slowly killed all of those months that she confided and professed her love to pencil neck rather than coming to me and telling me she had any form of issue with how things were going with us I told her I loved who she once was but I hate who stands before me and that if I never see her again it couldn't be too soon here we are on the sidewalk in midtown Manhattan her making a scene crying her eyes out a couple folk walk by and give side glances but at that point I didn't care I wasn't about to publicly humiliate her I pretty much already socially and professionally destroyed her but I needed to get the last bit of emotion I had for her out I finished by telling her I didn't regret the 23 years I spent being her husband I regretted that in 23 years she decided the easy way out was the better option and that for 23 years I thought she was mine but it turned out it was just my turn and I have you sharp men on reddit to thank for this last one because it popped in my head just seconds before I said it immediately after I said my piece I put in my earpieces turned around and walked away later that night her father calls me and apologizes he praises me for always being a good man to his daughter and tells me he's ashamed of her and that he raised her better than what she did not gonna lie I'm going to miss the old man my dad died years ago so he's always been my default father figure since but I can't see myself maintaining a relationship with anyone on her side of the family after that call I went on Facebook and symbolically changed my relationship status to divorced final yet but in my eyes it's over and done like I said when I make a post on Facebook it's an event so plenty of folks started hitting me up over messenger asking questions I laid it all out especially that I filed for divorce with Sue earlier in the day of course Nina called me shocked that I pulled the trigger so fast obviously I was already in the process of it when we spoke but she had no way of knowing how far it was along so I asked her if she could come over and of course she comes a running we knocked boots again but this time she stayed the night we laid in my bed and talked into the wee hours of the morning and I haven't felt this level of relief and connection in a really long time Nina gets me and I can't get enough being around her since the day she confided in me she's all that's been on my mind yeah I know some folk are gonna say it's messed up I'm moving on so fast but as far as I'm concerned my marriage ended the day pencil neck let Sue touch his shriveled up pickle so I'm about due so yeah that's it my divorce is in the works and I'm moving on to start a relationship with Nina I know in a comment response to someone I said I'd probably not marry ever again but that was before Nina came clean to me about how she felt towards me and I can't deny that I feel the same we're going to take it slow and we're not announcing anything until the divorce with Sue is legal and official as for Sue I could give a flying crap what happens to her she could move pencil neck into our old home for all I care I'll be getting my money for the house over the course of 2021 four quarterly instalments and aside from the 650 I will pay out directly to her savings account I have to see or speak to her again to all of the words of support encouragement and praise I eternally thank you all Royal AI the hits just keep on coming I've been sitting on this for hours now a little recap I discovered my wife of 23 years she's 45 was having an affair with a 27 year old co-worker we have two sons 22 and 17 I concocted a plan to completely upend her life centered around fooling her into thinking I was having an affair myself I kept the Rows going for over four and a half months while compiling evidence of her infidelity as well as securing divorce papers and planning my exit strategy think about slowly moving my personal belongings from our home to a new apartment getting a new phone and number separating my half of our shared income from our joint account etc on December 16th 2020 I gathered every bit of proof of her affair I'd compiled printed it all out from start to that week filed it all into 14 binders packed 11 into gift wrapped boxes and mailed them all out to the most important people in her life as well as her HR department with an ETA around Christmas on Christmas Eve while she slept I took one of the remaining three binders and did the same only this one I taped the divorce notice to the inside cover and left it on my side of the bed which mind you she'd had her lover in a number of times along with my old phone and my lawyer's business card and shadow ghosted her over the next four days her life completely imploded her family pretty much excommunicated her her friends ostracized her and my own mother took her to task calling her the most scathing and vile things you could possibly think of her and her lover were also placed on administrative leave and eventually fired last week we had our divorce hearing and settled on a legal separation into uncontested divorce with a few provisions in place for transitional income since she's now unemployed I'm to pay out the price for the utilities 650 a month until either she finds gainful employment or upwards to one year after the date of the divorce's finalization which is expected to be three months from now she keeps the house her car and a half of the shared assets I keep my half of the assets my vehicles car motorcycle and boat and my vacation property cabin in the Poconos after the hearing we had one final exchange where she tried to explain away her infidelity and beg me to give her a second chance after the divorce is finalized I of course said no gave her some choice words and walked away from her forever this brings us to last night as only my closest friends two sons older sister and mother have my new contact info and I've completely blocked my sue on all social outlets she has had so no means of reaching me since I left her Christmas Eve but some our mutual friends still do last night I'm hanging out in my apartment and I get a voice call notification on messenger from one of said friends one of the few who hadn't abandoned her following the outing her affair she didn't waste any time when I answered and said she had went to check on Sue and found her passed out in the bedroom foaming out of her mouth with two bottles of empty pills next to her she's in the ICU in critical but stable condition the doctors said that she will likely pull through she's clearly not going to be well after she begged and pleaded for me to come her parents and two of her sisters were also there at the hospital my guess is they were notified after the hospital attempted to notify me but Sue would still have my old number as her emergency contact I simply told her no Sue's not my problem anymore and she clearly decided she wanted to take the easy way out rather than deal with the shame and agony of the 23 year marriage she blew up I then told her friend that if Sue's family were there they can help her sort out the pieces but as far as Sue and I are concerned there is no Sue and I anymore I then ended the call I've had a few hours to sleep on it and my sons called me this morning asking if I knew I told them yes but I also let both of them know that if they want to be there and supportive of their mother I will not hold it against them or judge them for it she is their mother after all but I myself washed my hands of her and care little to nothing about what she does for or to herself anymore they were both a little taken back by this but respected my stance however now that the news broke about her self deletion attempt many of those friends who dropped her are all starting to surface again and saying I need to be there for her that even despite what she did to me I need to support her in her time of need I've also been informed that her affair partner pencil neck tried to visit her this morning but wasn't allowed because he's not family I'm getting dog piled on to go see her but I feel nothing for this woman anymore I haven't for a very long time I checked out during the process of getting my payback for her betrayal and I stand by the fact that I don't care at all for what she's done in fact it makes me hate her even more she's the one who was unfaithful she's the one who though a near year long fling with a guy five years older than her oldest son was worth destroying 23 years and now that she has to face the consequences of her choices she chooses the most selfish way of dealing with it even now seeing as she's in all likelihood going to survive she's cultivated immediate sympathy from everyone who took her to task and I'm being made out to look like the jaded ex-husband unwilling to sympathize for her by most of her family not her dad though he's reached out to me over the last few hours and said he respects my decision to stay away it's like I never even truly knew this woman 23 years and it comes to this yes I know the way I broke things off with her may have put her in a poor mental state but now a whole new can of worms has been opened up because either she had a complete mental breakdown and decided to self-delete herself or she made an extremely risky and calculated move to cull favor back from people who just weeks prior condemned her for betraying me she cheated on me and now she's the victim sorry if this comes off as rantish but I'm here trying to wrap my brain around this I want to be perfectly clear though I am not going to visit she waved her right to me caring about her well being the day she jumped on the schnitzel of pencil neck this might come off as heartless because despite the cool calm collected way I've been throughout my whole ordeal my feelings are still very much raw but I don't give a crap about this woman haven't for a very long time I'm aware I'm going to be vilified by a number of folk here I don't much give a crap think of me however you want if you were in my shoes you'd see her actions vastly different some of you folks are going to go look up my post history and see the story of what I did to her and you're going to draw the conclusion that her actions now was my fault that me tormenting her for all of those fooling her into thinking I was cheating on her while she actively cheated on me then destroying her socially and professionally as result was the catalyst for her meltdown maybe it was maybe I am a heartless sociopath but as Arthur Fleck so famously said you get what you freaking deserve I gave this woman half of my life and did absolutely everything to be the best possible husband she could ever have by her own admission I had no bearing in her decision to step outside of our marriage she did it for her her selfishness knows no bounds and I am glad to be rid of her if it makes me the bad guy for not going to see her and never plan on interacting with her ever again so be it I hold true to my convictions she made the choice to betray me she made the choice to put her needs above the needs of our marriage so now it's my turn to choose for me over everything else she can rot in the darkest pit of purgatory for all I care let everyone else help fix her my obligation to ever care about her well-being ended the day we signed the separation agreement I just needed to get this off of my chest if you're going to cast judgment on me for feeling how I feel save it like I said above after 23 years and 2 children I never really knew woman after all I have no sympathy for her and I never will let her rot quick update I've been informed by Sue's dad that she's been moved from the ICU to the mental health wing doctors are still monitoring her mental state she's conscious and cognitive again but obviously lethargic her father told me she asked if I did come to see her he said no and she shut down after he respectfully said that any further news only if I inquire because he understands the headspace I'm in also I've scheduled counseling for my youngest son the first consultation is this coming Monday as a mother myself I can only say that your ex-wife is the most disgusting and self-centered woman I have ever heard of in my life no matter what happens in your life your kids should be your top priority and never do anything that would jeopardize their well-being instead of focusing on how to be a victim she should have spent that time trying to make your sons forgive her if she cares for them as for you well done and good luck in your new relationship be strong for your kids and make sure they don't fall in her manipulative hands she doesn't deserve to be called a mother I don't blame you at all I'm sorry you feel that way about your ex-wife nobody should feel that kind of hostility to anyone but as I said I don't in any way fault you for it besides what are you going to do if you go to visit her in the hospital tell her you're okay with what she did that you don't think she's a horrible person for betraying a spouse who's been nothing but loving and supportive for 20 plus years I don't think so also it's not as if she's all alone she evidently has plenty of family with her and help her with the mess she created and if you were still her husband you would be there too loving her and supporting her like you did for 23 years but as far as you're concerned you're not her husband anymore and she did that personally I'm good with your decision your ex-wife seems to be prone to bad decisions based on how she feels she made a bad decision to hook up with her affair partner because that's what she wanted she made a bad decision to have one for the road with him even while she was trying to win you back from your affair because that's what she wanted she made a bad decision to try to self-delete not because she's distraught over losing you but because everybody in her life family friends work etc knows what a terrible person she is and so instead of facing up to her failure she will just exit because that's what she wants as for let her rot I understand why you don't have any sympathy for her but for your own well-being it might help to get past this kind of animosity pity her for her selfishness short-sightedness lack of honesty and integrity stay away from her because that's not the kind of person you want in your life but hatred will eat you and turn you into someone that I don't think you want to be best of wishes for your future this will be the official final entry into the tale of how I found out my wife of 23 years was cheating on me and the events that followed by now I think there's more than enough people around the net who know of it on April 13th Sue officially became my ex-wife I was initially told by my lawyer that it would go through on the 18th but due in part to things here in New York City starting to open up with the lowering cases of the virus it was pushed through a few days earlier my lawyer Jeff gave me a call on April the 12th and asked me to come see him the following day when I did he handed me the finalization notice and shook my hand I couldn't just leave it at that I went in and gave him a hug and thanked him for all he'd done for me on my way home all I could do was just replay mental movies of everything the last 24 years of my life all of the memories all of the history when I stepped into my apartment it finally happened I hit the floor and all the emotion that has been compressed in me came pouring out I haven't cried like that in ages but it wasn't a sad cry my soul felt like it had been set free after being held in the deepest darkest abyss the phone call I made that night was to my eldest son I kept it short and sweet saying that it's finalized and his mother and I are no longer married as to that day he asked how I felt I'm sure he could tell in my voice I'd been crying and I told him I was fine the youngest got on the phone next and we spoke for nearly 90 minutes the eldest and his fiance have been doing a great job looking after him and he's still like myself going to therapy I won't go into detail about what we spoke of but I will say there's still a lot of work to be done specifically with his view of relationship Nina came to see me later that night as she always does and obviously I gave her the news she just wrapped her arms around my waist and held tight yes I cried again to compose myself again Nina told me no matter what she will never betray me and loves me with all her heart and I know every word of it is true I might catch some flak for saying this but I don't regret the life I build with Sue and despite all she did give me two strong sons but it's clear to me now I picked the wrong woman Nina in the last four and a half months has given so much and asked nothing in return all she asks of me is to be there for her I don't want to drone on about her for too long but she truly is my hero there's also some other interesting events that came to pass following the divorce finalization case in point pencil neck actually reached out to me yes he actually sent me a message here on reddit turns out he saw the story when it blew up on YouTube and immediately recognized it or anyone asks no I will not be revealing what his reddit username is I think I've made the kids suffer enough the first thing he did was apologize for his hand in all of this he gave me a rundown of what the results of the binder I sent his mother did essentially he's been excommunicated from his family his mother as I learned when I was planning out my payback is a devout Catholic woman the in church three days a week nominee three spirit usante type of devout so her views on marriage are sacred and learning that her son just broke up a marriage that was almost a quarter century long sent her into a full blown rage she kicked him out that very day and within the week when his employer got the binder I sent to them he was fired as well he's been couch hopping and trying to find a new job ever since he claimed he wanted to reach out to me on social media you know all of the places he blocked me when he was picking Sue but admits he was afraid because in his words if I was able to find him before I could find him again I admit I could have went all in on destroying this kid but I didn't I asked him when was the last time he saw Sue and he said he hadn't seen her in months the last time he had talked to her Sue told him to forget about her and move on with his life which I recall Sue saying the last time I had spoke to her so at the very least she wasn't lying about that I asked a few more questions and the kid was surprisingly forthcoming I guess he was looking for some kind of penance for the chaos he'd brought upon himself a lot of what he said mirrored info I'd gleaned from texts documentation I gathered I didn't do much responding I just asked and he answered conversation went on for 20 or so minutes before he said again how sorry I was and that's when I hit him with this actual copy paste you're a 27 year old man who has to live the rest of your life knowing that your own mother now loathes you for breaking up a marriage that was almost as long as how long you've been breathing I know you've messaged me because karma is eating at you but I won't give you closure when I was 27 I was building a legacy right now you're a homeless jobless home if you're smart you'll learn from this lesson if you don't you'll stay a no life until you're my age assuming you make it that far I'd wish you luck but you don't need luck you need to get your crap in order with that I ended the conversation and blocked him not the kind of closure he was looking for obviously and I could have been a lot more hostile but I think those words will haunt him enough as is the next major event is that as of May 4th 2021 Nina is now my wife over the last two months we have had long discussion as to where we want things to go between us Nina made it abundantly clear that she has no intentions of ever being with anyone else but me and she wants my namesake she wants to be my wife and wants me to adopt her daughter will call her Anna as my own as I've made mention of in the past I adore this kid she's six now and she idolizes me I'm the first father figure she's had since her bio dad pretty much cut out on them when she was four Nina's made a practice of not introducing any man she's been involved with since her divorce in Anna's life unless they had staying power needless to say I have staying power and experience raising children and speaking of Anna and my youngest son are like two seas in a pod the dynamic between them is both stunning and adorable youngest really clung on to Anna and she revels in it had a talk to my therapist about it and he said it's definitely a good sign the youngest sees innocence he wants to protect in Anna even though his innocence has been shattered so we decided last Monday to go to city hall and pull the trigger took 24 hours to get the marriage license and the reveal was the most uneventful reveal ever conceived our maid mentions as if no one didn't see this coming and big sis said now placing bets on when the now expecting post goes up we thought we were keeping our relationship under wraps all these months but pretty much everyone figured it out already so yeah that was kind of hilarious some people are going to say it was too soon and yes I said in past comment responses that I'm never getting married again but that was all before the true dynamic between Nina and I manifested this woman has professed her undying unconditional love for me she is laid in my arms and cried saying how happy she is and how she never in a million years imagined she'd ever have the chance to be with me she's gone in painstaking detail about how she's felt about me the past 25 years and how even while she was married she lamented the notion that one and I honestly had no idea how deep that rabbit hole went she even went as far as saying there were times where she herself had thoughts of having an affair with me popped into her head but she could never be that kind of person and even so through all of the years I've known her she has given me so much and asked so little in return even the woman I married and had two children with has never shown the amount of love to me that Nina has I'd be a fool not to give her my name so now she has it and we're in the early stages of paperwork for me adopting Anna and finally there's Sue I've not spoken to her since the last time I visited our marital home which is going on four months ago but mutual friends the ones that are left do send me updates from time to time through one of those friends a real to I know that she sold the house and he gave her a job clerical assistant in his firm and in doing so wave the assisted payments I had to fork over as result of her unemployment she now lives in a small apartment close by his office which he also helped set her up in she's functioning but a shell of the woman she was she's barely gained weight and keeps to herself she comes in does her work and doesn't socialize with anyone but him likely because you know her socializing with people from work is where this whole thing started last update I got on her was at the end of March where I thanked him for looking out for her but told him I don't need any more updates she's no longer my problem I'm almost certain she knows about Nina and I as some of those surviving mutual friends have commented about us as our youngest is a year away from being a legal adult I have no reason to ever speak to her again and I won't and that's that my journey of betrayal revenge attempted self deletion and mental agony is over I'll field questions and perhaps a few comments but ultimately after this I'm fading back into the swamp to live with my new froggy wife and her little tadpole sincerely to the literal thousands of people who have given me advice well wishes and praise through all of this thank you being able to share my story and help others through the ordeal of infidelity has humbled and blessed me to the new friends I've actually made here on Reddit I love you all never would I ever have guessed I'd find such wonderful people in a place where admittedly not so wonderful things can be said keep it green and keep it classy Reddit Royal AI all I can say is I wish you all the happiness in the world with you beginning the next phase of life with Nina how wonderful to be able to finally be with your intended soulmate who patiently waited for years she is most definitely a keeper because she repressed her desire to be with you for such a long time and now you both have been rewarded what you said to pencil neck is actually what many young people these days need to hear I was 26 when my world crashed down and I had to start over but I made a choice to not let what happened to me consume me it took some time to get over the betrayal but I came out stronger in the end pencil neck needed to learn that there are some things in this world that must be treated as sacred regardless of what your feelings are Nina knew this and never made a move on you because she knew that the marriage vow is sacred pencil neck will know for the rest of his life and if he is smart he will change his attitude the only thing I hope your sons learn from your experience is that in this world you have to work hard at whatever is important to you whether it is work, marriage family, etc and what is important you must also protect there will always be people trying to tear down or take what you have and you must be willing to stand up and fight for it Sue has now learned this lesson the hard way if she thought there were problems in your marriage, she should have fought for your marriage rather than let pencil neck come in and wreck what she finally realized was important to her never take the people you love for granted and if you ever find yourself seeking something else the fault does not lie with the other person but within you good luck to you and Nina there's lessons everyone involved have taken away I'm sure even for those friends of Sue's who facilitated her infidelity I count my blessings how it all ended up for me I've read to many tales over the last five months here where there's no happy ending, no closure and nothing gained but pain and misery I wish I could do more for people in that place in life great story and a lot to have gone through in life I'm really happy for how it turned out for you and I wish you nothing but all the best this whole saga was somehow really inspiring it's inspiring to me as well and I lived it Nina and Anna have opened up a new world for me and my youngest son Nina's shown me a new kind of a love I never knew existed something deep and dense you could actually touch in the case of Sue I loved her but it was a completely different kind of love with Nina she motivates and inspires me I can't describe it or put it into words Warning this audio is created by Royal AI if you hear this anywhere else they stole this audio be sure to check Royal AI if you like this type of content I'm not referring to the story but to the content created by Royal AI that brings us to the end of the nuclear revenge story of reddit user Kermit Defrog I've remastered this story last update and power up the quality in the process I hope you enjoyed it they say revenge is a dish best served cold but OP's revenge was freezing I won't go on and on about my two cents I want to know what you think I'll join the conversation after you subscribed for new uploads you should make sure to gift the like button 20 random gift cards for Christmas from the local steak restaurant, Apple store, Amazon and more but make sure only one has actual credits left I wish you and your family the most loving and warm Christmas and a happy new year and as usual see you in the next one


Good morning. Thank you Gardner for those kind words and good morning fellow warriors and Indeed that's probably where I want to start so a couple witnesses Gardner you use this great language of Leaders leading thinkers. I don't know if I would ever have put myself in that category But Jamie's a witness. I do spend a lot of time thinking and so I wanted to share with you some of my thoughts today but it is really this warfighting aspect that Got me going when Jeff Harley gave me these words Strategy and maritime power in a contested environment. This is a current strategy for him and Yet the words maritime power in a contested environment. I felt was pulling me down to the operational level of war We often think about and mostly agree to this framework of strategy operational level and then tactical level and So then I started to think is this forum is the world change so much that just like we have strategic Corporals, there's no way to talk about the operational level of the war or the tactical level of war without having strategic implications and Then that gets to this very new CS 21 where we talk about the sea services and the functions And it is at the strategic level But because it is about services it does talk to operational and mission-level concepts and Are those all interconnected today? And then we we bring in this new idea of all-domain access We put out this premise that there are these multitude of domains space air maritime And my favorite fight inside the joint arena is whether Maritime is one domain or whether air is separate from surface and subsurface And if you're a light blue suitor and of the Air Force you kind of want to think air is separate If you have to fight in the maritime domain You want all of those to be in one domain because you have to fight in all three dimensions at the same time And so when we're talking a contested environment, are we talking all of those domains or one of those domains? And so these are the thoughts that were running through my head and Now I'm going to take you through where I think I'm where I went with my answers for myself first slide, you know, there's this line that History doesn't repeat itself historians repeat historians and So when we're talking all-domain access We're really talking about how we have capability against anti-access aerial denial Circumstances and I access that means we're going to stop you from from even getting into Maneuvering and then area denial you just can't get in there And yet throughout history this problem of not being able to get in Has been at the tactical level an issue And it has been sometimes at the operational level And so I started to think about our ability in anti-access aerial denial And when you think about us in the Civil War There was this great plan by the Union to blockade the South literally to contain them and Then the thought was if we can blockade them we could we could actually sort of Split them up the middle divide and conquer so to speak starve them The strategic level thinking was that we had to stop the South from being able to sell goods in order to resupply and buy Armament but as they built and contain the South with this blockade it actually probably another fantastic piece of strategy was Literally the Union convinced the rest of the world that it was legally fine to blockade the South And not to intervene as we got down to the individual ports Some of those ports had strategic importance one of the last ones being mobile and Mobile Bay, it's sort of an arrowhead inlet in the middle You go up through the center and this the town of mobiles at the top of the end at the top of the bay 20 nautical miles from the entrance The point was that mobile was a railhead You could take the Ohio Railroad out to Mississippi and you could take the Great Northern Railroad out to Atlanta So taking mobile meant that we were going to succeed in Containing the South and it was part of this grand blockade and it became a strategic point when Farragut and his cruisers and Monitors went to take it He had a thoughtful opponent and I will be canon He had a narrow he had a narrow inlet with two forts one on each side He drove pilings part way out and then he mined the rest of it The channel to get in at that point was only 500 yards wide and so good old Farragut Who became our first admiral in the Navy? Had an anti-access problem, and I don't think there there had been that much thinking about Anti-access, but the mines were there that referred to as torpedoes in those day So his plan was simply just to charge right through At great risk and the first ship that went up to fight the Confederates inside the bay that to come So hit a mine that ship According to stories sank in less than a minute losing 93 people of 124 and that realization Even with hardened a combat hardened veteran started to cause the rest of the unions union ships to pull over to the side to safety and Literally, it was the leadership bravery of Farragut saying damn those torpedoes to the seal of the Hartford and driving up the center and an awful lot of luck The Hartford didn't hit a mine and the rest of the ships fell in behind her and then the battle of Mobile Bay was on So anti-access has probably been around for a while But what we've come to say is that we have to be able to fight in this domain The lesson learned is we can't rely on luck in the future that will just Time time and luck find that channel to fight the enemy we have to be able to Have all domain access and be able to burrow in if we need to in order to have the fight next slide We're starting to see some of this play out today When you look at the Strait of Hormuz that's still a pretty important energy producer for the world It's about 17 million barrels a day But most of that energy flows to the western Pacific and the biggest customers are India Japan South Korea China Important to us because there are training partners and so if energy was disrupted to them There would be economic impact around the world and then of course some of that oil flows around to our European partners Who are also trading partners in? 2012 Iran threatened to close the Strait of Hormuz That is the anti-access problem Which if she had tried to close the straits obviously would have re economic repercussions around the world since then Navscent has created an exercise a mind countermeasures exercise Which the first time it was announced we had European partners join in rapidly and has only grown over the years and So every fall we now demonstrate a collective capability to keep the straits open and this last fall in November of 2014 we were up to 38 warships from around the world 32 civilian merchant vessels and 44 navies represented There were over 6500 people in this mind countermeasure exercise And so then when you look at the strategy and we talk about all of our functions Power projection that's demonstrated in this exercise see controls demonstrated in this exercise deterrence is demonstrated in this exercise and our strategy talks about the reliance of allies and partners in this case it is collective deterrence It is all of us working together to signal to Iran That we have the might to keep the straight open and we're willing to use the might to keep the straight open There are other additional benefits that come out of something like putting an exercise like this together interoperability Which is important to us if we should ever have to go to war and we're going to fight with allies and partners And so anti-access is coming to the forefront and not just in the maritime domain next slide But it's coming to the forefront in this domain and I heard gardener say that Peter singers talking tomorrow If you've never heard him speak he will give you some great Enlightenment about what's going on. This is a this is a tough domain and when we talk about contested environments This domain is like an urban fight I grew up in a Navy that was deep blue and We had one enemy the Soviet Union life was a lot simpler then And we were actually pretty happy when that fight went away We should not have been life's a lot easier when you just have one enemy This domain this domain has criminals in it. This domain has hackers in it This domain has honest businessmen in it. This domain has family in it This is like an urban fight and there will be a lot of collateral damage Should we ever choose to fight in this domain? This is a contested environment It's aptly illustrated by the cyber attacks on and stony in 2007 and during April and May and In the course of three weeks there was a distributed denial of service attack and fundamentally the attackers who the Estonians later identified as Russian took a hold of several people's individual computers from around the world and sent droves literally millions of hits to different websites in Estonia crashing all of those websites on 26 April the first assault happened and In the first week all of the websites related to the government and the parliament were knocked offline By the second week major Estonian news publications were all out of business. They couldn't communicate online The heaviest attack came on May 9th 2007 the Estonia banking system cyber attacks forced Hanna set bank the largest bank to shut down all internet-based operations at that point in the country 97% of all banking transactions were online The hackers severed connections to all of the ATMs throughout Estonia and Estonia debit cards would not work outside of the country They shut the country down That meant Estonians couldn't pump gas get groceries use cell phones or make money transactions The Estonian government immediately accused the Russian government, but had difficulty proving it And so this environment is not only contested We have the challenge of getting to attribution Making it hard for us to counterattack Who is doing this to us? And when we do figure out there's a latency to it That means We're too late for the counter-attack to defend ourselves So was this an example of a 2 a d in this environment Was this a blockade a blockade of Estonia in the electronic world just the way We were blockading the Confederates in the Civil War and then when you get back to our strategy And we talk about the reliance on allies and partners One of the biggest strategic implications out of the Estonia attacks was the only way Estonia could recover Was to work with allies and partners the pass of destruction went through several different countries and That meant internet experts from Germany Finland and Slovenia Had to help in tracking down the source of the computers in order to get the attack turned off So we are in a different world and particularly in this domain Allies and partners come to the forefront Not because we want that to be that way because that is the way the internet has involved And so it is by necessity The largest biggest strategic implication to me Was the change in Estonia And now becoming a leader in the cyber domain and helping the rest of the world understand what policy should be And how we need to behave and a leading voice Estonia stood up the cyber center of excellence within NATO A leading voice and us trying to get to understanding on exactly what does an article five mean in this domain Next slide And so I think a 2 a d has been around for a while We've got these domains some of them have only evolved in the last century like space or the last few decades Like the cyber domain, but any one of them could be contested at any time So where are we as the sea services and what does it mean in our ability? I think the other historical metaphor Is we may be the british in the war of 1812 Where the dominant global power There may be a conflict far from where we are that we want to say We're going to exert pressure on that nation Or we're going to go into war with that nation And in the war of 1812 The british were able to do power projection But there were limitations And they had come to the strategic conclusion that they weren't going to win this fight Unless they had allies and partners And so they ended up partnering with the canadiens and with the indians But my biggest strategic takeaways from that is that there's limitations When you project power into another domain And you're relying on allies and partners who are in their backyard They will have different motivations during the conflict And in the case of the native americans They had listened to the promises of the british that they would take care of them feed them and provide them weapons The british were at the the tail end of their logistic trail And weren't tail and weren't able to do that And so the motivations of the native americans It becomes about their home and family They in the end were forced to abandon the fight because of a bad season And they had to take care of their Their family in order to feed them And so you're the motivation of the people who live there You will have to take that into account when you bring them on as allies and partners And if you say you're going to support them promises that trust has to be kept And then also when I look at where we are and you look at the resource constrained environment we go to The war of 1812 is also has some great lessons in it one If you're in a resource constrained environment and you're power projecting in a contested environment deception comes to the forefront Both in the case of the british and in the case of tecumseh They used deception to win battles. So for example As general hall was sitting up in his fort in detroit Tecumseh used the fact that there were openings in the in the in the woods and would run his braves by several times Hall Hall thought he was outnumbered The british deliberately Sent false orders and had messengers captured talking about troops that were on their way to reinforce them And literally in the end with all of this information coming in general hall surrendered without firing a shot If we are going into a resource constrained environment I predict we'll see deception not surprise come to the forefront as one of the principles of warfare And then the The last piece is a resource constrained environments Simulation comes to the forefront. We talk about we can't afford to train at sea We can't afford to fly in the air. We can get to just as good a place with simulation In the war of 1812 That lack of resourcing and the simulation turned to be of turn out to be a factor in the battle of lake airy The british Were getting ready for the battle They didn't have the shot In order to practice firing cannons But being smart leaders, they had their sailors go through the motions of firing the cannons on our side Commodore parry He had them go through the actual sequence firing life shot and sometimes using whatever he could find On the day of the battle When the british went to actually fire their cannons They had simulated everything right down to the long wicks for the largest cannons They had not actually made the long wicks And so they were reduced to taking their pistols and shooting them into the cannons in order to ignite them That put a timing sequence and they lost the volley of fire they normally would have had They never knew That they hadn't built the wicks because they'd spent so much time simulating They never got to the ground truth of what they didn't have So we're going to see the same thing as we get to a resource constrained environment You will start to see an emphasis on simulation We as leaders just have to be mindful that simulation has its boundaries and at some point You do have to operate in the air You do have to train at sea and you do have to train underneath the water in order to be A proficient warfighter Next slide So this begats a lot of questions And the point of a forum like this is that we ask these questions And that the answers you find useful But you also find them useful as war fighters And so we have the potential of contested environments That we will have to fight in in the future We have the potential of anti-access area denial and that could be in the maritime domain That could be in the cyber domain That could be on the sea the air or undersea We have to ask ourselves With that particular adversary is it likely that all of those domains will be contested at the same time? And it's our responsibility as war fighters to understand Which domains at what time are going to be contested? And where we best leverage our capability? And if the vulnerability of our potential adversary isn't one of those domains Leverage our ability to to master that domain To take the adversary out in another domain So we should not be afraid to be asymmetrical Air against subsurface Cyber against land And we have to leverage what we know and what we can do really understand these domains Really understand if they're contested And really take advantage of our enemy's vulnerabilities when the time comes And so I think those types of questions and the answers are useful to all of us as war fighters and as strategists And with that I will take your questions. Thank you So I don't know if everyone heard the question. Thank you ambassador For that question the he asked about He put it in the context of our relationship with the soviet union the 10-year lead time To design and develop systems are I think if I can condense it the ability of our adversaries to move more quickly technologically And then how do we how do we manage all of that with the with the with the budget constraints that we have? So you get you get to the heart of a question that's actually being played out on the hill right now Acquisition reform who's responsible for requirements and then who can make changes to requirements as we go along but the other thing I think about and why I believe in a ship like the littoral combat ship Is we have to get out of coupling together combat systems to the platforms and be able to unintegrate What's been our way of doing business that we have to Set up modules so that we can take advantage of changing technology and more More easily take those c4i systems and upgrade them and the weapon systems And then plug them in where we need to need to plug them in And then that and then more have more agility and our ability to train our people. So that's that's part of the answer I also agree that the the Chinese are setting up to create a contested environment in terms of all of all of the domains And so we too are moving out in capacity in terms of air ballistic missile defense undersea and cyber The the the issue will be is What will that how do we think that war is going to unfold? And what domain do we think they're going to have their vulnerabilities in and I also think when you look at Where we are and how for all of us Battle space awareness Command and control We're all dependent on the networks not just the us But the chinese are developing along that way that will be our opportunity To look at their vulnerabilities in the way they command and control their vulnerabilities and how they do battle space awareness and think about how We either go into deception writ large or go into The introduction of their c2 and battle space awareness And their eye in the sky So those are all things and areas we just as they look at us and make decisions about how they want to develop capability We have to look at them and make decisions about How we want to develop capability as well and I I think the same Grand folks who've helped us work our way through this Um still still exist, but I think we have to be with the systems of the future Do more parsing out And have less integration so that we can rapidly bring in technology where we need to particularly in the cyber domain My classmates will know that I am not shy about asking questions admiral. My name is kim kelly I'm with the department of state. I'm in the senior class and we've talked about a lot of these uh concepts You've mentioned the constrained environment platforms new weapon systems As we need to operate more jointly in this contested resource constrained environment One of the topics that's come up repeatedly throughout the last 10 months is that politics can often get in the way And we end up with systems that we don't need or want and I've heard from my military colleagues across the services that oftentimes they get new weapon systems or platforms that are Really being sent out because of politics So what recommends what recommendations do you have for us students as we move into greater leadership positions Regarding managing the politics to develop joint platforms and new weapon systems that will be useful as we move forward I don't know that I want more fighters managing politics That's a premise in that question that I don't know. I agree with I think there's severe oversight and I think Congress has a role to play and they have a right to maintain that role So when I've testified Um There is a constitutional constitutional mandate for congress to maintain a navy The truth of the matter is They will help shape the size of the navy with the budget that they approve I think sometimes it's not trying to get into the politics of it It's helping educate them on what we see as their responsibilities and the impact of their decisions And what it will have on that navy that they are required by the constitution to maintain um And I think when it's laid out and the dialogue is in the appropriate framework I have a role in responsibility And if you want me to be able to continue control the seas Maintain maritime security and project power. This is the capability I need And those are fruitful conversations to have And then then they get to be the elected leaders they they need to be Good morning, admiral My name is steve fabrum with the naval oceanographic office. And I'm glad to hear you talk about mine warfare because that's my background I have a question about uh China china is a complex problem. We talk about what they're doing with the spratly islands in the islands They've talked about what's happening between japan and them and the senkaku's And we also talk about the the nine-dash line whatever it's called today And we also talk about them being strategic partner. I mean Commerce partners because we send a lot of our trade over there Do you see that there's any kind of a trigger that's really going to start an armed conflict with them? um You mean within the next couple of years Strategically down the line. I mean we rely on so much right now for our manufacturing That can we even afford to go to a shooting war with them? now economically no And you guys have probably been dime filled to death During your time here and I remind people dime fills a great acronym, but if you switch the letters around it's actually midlife Which might indicate a crisis so uh We are too entwined economically And then when you look at the economic capacity of countries You look at who has growing gdps Or surplus that they want they have to be able to lend dollars out and they need countries that are good uh recipients that There's a trust there like the mortgage banker that if I give you this money in the end I'm going to get the money back that when we say sure buy our bonds we we we mean it You know 20 30 40 50 years from now that interest rate will hold true Who else has an economy that can absorb? The excess capacity of countries like saudi arabia and china it's us I mean theoretically they could loan to countries like Greece Italy they could But the certainty of that's going to come to fruition at some low interest rate is not there So we are very intertwined when you look at the sheer volume of of trade and Dollars that are that are and yen that's being moved around the world And so that that is a we are an economic symbiotic relationship and that is one where For some of the countries who have a gdp where they can lend For them to do something they would definitely have to be cutting off their nose Despite In other areas one of the things i've been thinking about Where we have not had a probably broader national diet dialogue as strategic deterrence Nuclear weapons are always there, but they're sort of in the background We're well past the time frame where we have folks get under desk and prepare for a nuclear attack And so it's faded into the background consciousness of the american public But china is developing a sea base triad for strategic deterrence And so we owe ourselves coming to an understanding of what that means We've been in this lockstep Uh relationship with russia because we developed nuclear weapons and grew up at the same time when we have treaties So as china develops the sea base triad What does that mean for our relationship? Where does the dialogue need to go and what kinds of understandings do we need to have to me? That's our biggest vulnerability right now because we don't have the same sort of Mature relationship with china on nuclear weapons that we have with russia And you think about it. I mean we're at the world with russia There's a there's a hotline. There's interpreters and all of that's in place to prevent misunderstanding So at some point As china goes down this path. I suspect we're going to have to get to that level of maturity and I think that's probably our biggest immediate vulnerability Admiral good morning, ma'am. Good morning. Amanda suni landrum. I'm part of the idc information dominance core And currently assigned to nga in light of some of our most recent downs in security with information being distributed such as snowden Where do you see information dominance going in the next 10 years? so If you're referring to insider threat But We have insider threats that exist in the physical domain What i'm seeing play out is all of the vulnerabilities we grew up with in the physical domain are coming to Coming to the forefront in the cyber domain. And so there are Processes and procedures that we've used in the physical domain that eventually we're going to have to figure out how to apply to the cyber domain The biggest challenge we have with the cyber domain is the lack of policy and and guidance and On on an international level and it has to be on an international level We we grow up as war fighters very grounded in the geographic thinking about boundaries that we can Influence at the tactical and the operational level This is is a domain that decouplized geography from tactical and operational effects But the same thing then is true when you're looking at trying to get to solution sets You know you may want to go after an adversary, but the the route of success may take you through Somebody else's commercial satellite owned by a private company in another country And servers that are in completely different countries. That's what estonia found out And so we have got to get to international agreement and norms on what it means to Work operate and innovate in this space And so I think the leadership responsibility is to help push that to the forefront The other issues there are There are answers that we can apply from the physical domain to that domain What we owe ourselves is the good thinking of as this domain matures There's still some of the same vulnerabilities we see in the physical domain haven't yet shown up in This domain, but they're coming and so we have time to think about it and say what will our response bill Response bill be or what should capability should we be developing? But it is a challenge. I I refer to this domain as um the wild wild west and And you know, there really is no white irp right now I mean, that's one of our challenges and I was on a panel A few weeks ago with Chris monday of of microsoft and in terms of of being exploited He he phrased it this way. There's there's There's just two types of companies in the world those that have been hacked And those that don't know they've been hacked And Okay, if expert talks you probably ought to listen Uh, and then that just means we have to we have to double down and apply ourselves in this domain and get smarter Yeah I do Founded Um, I happen to be chairing the cyber task force here for the foundation So we're very pleased to hear you address front and center the importance of cyber You mentioned the absence of policy and clearly that is an issue Not just within department of defense, but more broadly within our national security You also mentioned in your uh presentation simulation We're here at the naval war college, which is the home of navy strategic thought We also have fantastic academic resources But war gaming simulation expertise going back to the early part of the century What is the vision That you and the cno and the top navy leadership have for this institution In cyber security policy and the use of these very differentiated and scarce resources and simulation So first For simulation, this is a joint answer because right now anything we do in this domain Beyond defense is not just a joint answer. It's a it's an interagency answer And so we're going down the path dod is to the development of cyber ranges And and we do need cyber ranges. We need enclaves where people can practice their trade craft um I heard the superintendent at an aplas talk yesterday the They just uh this past year took the cyber Exercise defense cup and the way he got there is they created a small enclave within an aplas Where the shipment could go practice their actual network skills In a safe environment, so we're going to end up going down the same path that just as you have a physical training range We're going to need cyber training ranges The good news is it's an environment where people don't necessarily have to travel to be able to use the training range But we're going to have to develop those Uh, and I appreciate the reminder that the war college as well as nps have a lot of expertise in this area And gardener will tell you along with ron route. I have not been Afraid to tap into that expertise To help us move forward as war fighters in this domain And so let me in with that no matter what domain we grew up with Whether it was under sea on the surface or in the air In the future as war fighters, those are the domains we'll operate in And potentially the domains will fight in All cyber is is another domain that we have to be aware of As we operate in the physical domain, we'll be fighting in that domain simultaneously And so it's made us into fourth dimensional war fighters We have to recognize that and be prepared to do both at the same time So thank you for that question


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