Right. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to a new week. Hope you had a good weekend. Let's just begin the session with a word of prayer. So, maybe one of us, Divya, if it's okay, can you please lead in prayer? Sure. Sure, Pastor. Thank you, Father. Thank you, Lord, for your grace, your mercy, your kindness, Father Lord. You have brought us this far, Lord. God kept us safe throughout the week, supper, wherever we are. You have protected us, provided for us, Father Lord. Being gracious to us, Lord, you have been forgiving us, loving us, Father. We thank you for your grace, your mercy, your compassion upon us. We thank you, Father, for your promises.   We invite you upon into our midst, Lord. Especially, Lord, as we are learning this course, Lord, the things that we are learning. They're so practical. They're so profound. We pray, Father, let it bring about good fruit in each one of our lights. Bless Pastor Paul, Father Lord, as he is, Father, teaching these foundational truths, Father, as she is sharing his experiences, Father. We pray that you bless him abundantly, Father. Father Lord, may you bless him multifolder for his family, his children. Father, we thank you and praise you for each student here. We thank you, Father, for your broadness altogether. May your name be glorified in our midst, Father Lord. We commit all these things in the name of our Lord and save the Jesus Christ. Amen. Amen. Amen. Thank you so much. All right. So, sorry about last week. There was a funeral. So, in the last minute, I just put up the note that we won't have class. All right. Let's get into chapter three. We've been talking about last week. We spoke, we completed chapter two, Carrier Plan. Now, this week is, we started chapter three, and it's a very, very interesting and very, very important attribute, an important topic that we are discussing. And that is right workplace attitudes. And now, attitude is the way we look at things. So, our attitudes, influences, our choices, our actions, our behaviors. When we think of, when we have a wrong attitude on something or somebody, our actions or our behaviors towards that person or thing changes, right? Now, when we translate this in the workplace, right? Not all work environments are, you know, healthy, right? There are some places where, you know, everyone enjoy working. There's friendly relationships. There's healthy relations. There's supportive. It's exciting. People like to grow. But then there are very hostile environments, right? Where people want to undercut you, they outsmart you, they gossip this, offers politics, there's drama and all kinds of things, right? But as believers, you and I must develop this ability to maintain good workplace attitudes. It is something that we must develop. So, regardless of what is happening around us, there may be people who are gossiping, you know, there are, there's offers, politics, there's, you know, all kinds of things that are happening. But you and I can develop this ability to maintain a good attitude, regardless of what's happening around, right? So, attitude is a choice. And that choice is what you and I make, right? It's, it is how you decide to look at things, right? This morning when I was coming, you know, dropping my kids to school and I usually drop them very early in the morning. So, you know, to be avoid all the traffic, but really there was a little bit of traffic. And I thought to myself, you know, I left early because I wanted to avoid the traffic. And sometimes we may, you know, it may, these, these small things can really divert our attention or cause something to be stirred in us, right? Now, it is important to understand that you and I decide how to react, right? There may be people who are juniors in your company and now they are getting promotions. And we think, God, what is it that I didn't do? And we may feel down, we may feel neglected. But remember, our attitude is contagious. And so we can choose to do what is right. And we can choose to, you know, live with right attitudes. Let me give you this example, right? I remember early 2010, I wanted to, you know, serve in the church. Now, my idea of serving in the church was to stand on the pole pit and preach, or lead the worship. That was my idea of serving in the church. But, you know, initially I got the most menial task, right? I think I've shared this many a times. But, you know, I would be grumbling and wiping those chairs. And I have to come early morning just to arrange chairs. Many times I would crumble. I said, God, just know what I want to do. I don't want to preach your word. I don't want to lead the worship. I want to do this. I want to do that. I want to be on the stage. Together I am setting up chairs, wiping those chairs, and then make sure that another T is reaching on time. So menial task. But all inside me, I was like, when can I preach? But after a couple of months, I stopped serving. I said, no, I can't do this. This is not what God's called me for. But thank God for the Holy Spirit, right? And he brought that correction. And I realized that it is how we look at things we decide. So whether I'm serving for people to see me, or whether I'm serving with an attitude of, you know, I'm serving God. It doesn't matter what people think, what people say, whether people, whether I'm recognized or not, I'm serving God. And so our attitude almost always determines our attitude. And then it's a very, very common saying, right? Let's read Daniel chapter six and verse three. Then this Daniel distinguished himself above the governors and satrafs because an excellent spirit was in him and the king gave thought to setting him over the whole realm. Look at this. I like that word, distinguished. Then Daniel distinguished himself among the others. And isn't that, you know, why? Because he had an excellent spirit. So there were many people working in the governor's palace. There were satrafs, there were governors, they were in the king's palace. But there was something different about Daniel. He distinguished himself. So for example, all of them stood there. They were probably wearing the same uniform or they were wearing the same kind of attire, doing the same kind of things. But there was something different in Daniel. It was a spirit of excellence in him. Now Daniel served three governments, right? So that we know that the Babylonians, the Memes and the Persians, all three governments, he served. Here's the interesting part. Daniel 6,000, when the Persians come in, they wanted to get rid of Daniel. They're looking at every opportunity. How do we get rid of this guy? Because every king that's coming is honoring Daniel. Maybe when the Persian king comes in, there's a verse, I forget the verse, but it says, we heard about you how you have governed this whole nation of Babylon, so you continue to be the governor, the spirit of excellence. What is the important lesson that we can learn here? People may be trying to get you out. People may try to be little you, try to use all kinds of devious methods to get you out and get into a higher position. Remember, our grace, our gifts, our skills at the workplace can set us apart from others. They really can. They can open doors. They can get the attention of superiors. It really can do that. People will want you on your team. Now that's a good feeling, right? Imagine, they say, I want this person in my team. I want him or her because they can do this. Proverbs 15, 13 says, a cheerful heart brings a smile to your face. A sad heart makes it hard to get through the day. I remember this many, many years back. I was 16 or 17 years old. I didn't want to join a degree immediately. I wanted a break. So what was my strength? I said, okay, I can talk English. So I will join a call center. Not saying any one of us must do this. It's just that I wanted a break. I didn't want to study. But here's what happened. I joined this call center, just a regular call center, inbound call center. People from America would call. And my brother was working in that same company. He used to tell me, you know what? I've taken calls for many years. It's not going to be easy. But if you do well, this company will really lift you up. They will really honor you because they did that to me. And so use your skills of English. So he would always tell me that. And so we worked in the same company, same floor also, my elder brother. So I would come to this, you know, I finished my training. I hit the floor. We would put on our headsets and everyone would like, you know, oh man, what am I going to talk to these Americans? What if I don't understand their accent? And there were so many things, right? Even I was a little bit fearful. But I remember one thing. My brother said to me, one of your strengths is your English. We communicate at home in English. And so he told me this. Use that as your strength. Remember, they can't see you, but they can hear you. They know they will understand your way you speak. So use that as your strength. And I did. I remember saying, you know, I would be, even if I don't know the answer, I would be extremely confident. You know, it was all about credit cards. I said, what about this? What about this? I said, hey, don't worry. Don't worry. I'll get back to you with the answer. You know, just be confident in what I'm doing. And in six months, I remember I got a promotion. I was into quality. Quality was basically listening to other people's calls and giving them feedback on how you can improve your call. So I was in this process of quality at six months. And thank God for what my brother told me. And over time, I worked there just for two years. But in two years, I ended up being a team leader. And it was not something to boast about. But what I basically did was I used my strengths. And I, whatever I did, my attitude towards the work was like, hey, I want to do something good, right? Of course, there were days when I was like, oh man, I have to take calls for seven hours. It's tiring. And you say the same thing. Oh, you know, the same call flow. It is tiring, but our attitude was, you know, we need to change it. Okay, if I have to see myself becoming better, growing bigger, growing, getting, you know, growing up the ladder, I need to look at the positives of what I'm doing. But this is just an example. I'm sure Daniel did that. I'm sure Daniel would have always had his heart set to Jerusalem. When can I go back? But that didn't make himself consider one place where he was. He was excellent in his spirit. Right? So our attitude to things, worldly matters. Right? Next point. Do all to the glory of God. First Corinthians 10, 31.  Motivation. And motivation is important. Our motivation is what drives us. What inspires us, what stimulates us, what keeps us going. If there is no motivation, when the tough times come, and suddenly you'll be at the seas and there's, you know, just raging seas coming at you, or you may just be in front of a mountain and you're looking at it, looking at that mountain and saying, hey, how am I going to get through this? We, if there's no motivation, we're going to give up. Right? In the workplace, an organization will definitely give professionals incentives. Right? Like, you know, they have medical benefits. They have other benefits that are available.  But our work must not be motivated for that. Our motivation must be called what I'm doing. I want to glorify you.  But why do we want to pick up that? Yes, we want to see, you know, growth in our lives and a professional career. But Lord, I want to do this to glorify your name.   There may be, you know, divisive methods that people use, but I will make sure that I will use the right methods. I will honor your name. And that's when, you know, we're doing all for the glory of God. You and I are empowered to carry His name. And when we carry His name, here's the wonderful part, we represent Him. And His Spirit, Spirit of God gives us the wisdom, gives us excellence, right? Gives us virtue, gives us greatness, right? Look at Nehemiah. I always, you know, I mean, all of what happened in the book of Nehemiah, they all, they're just going before the King.  The King could just say, get rid of him. He could be put to death. Even so, if you look at Esther, Esther, she prayed and she said, well, I'm going to go before the King. Why? Even though she was the wife of the King, there was so much of fear, there was so much of reverence, because they had the power. But when the Spirit of God is upon us, He gives us the wisdom, He gives us excellence, the virtue that we need, right? And we begin to, you know, glorify His name. So, there'll be times you may have to go the extra mile. You may have to do overtime, right? I remember, I was just sharing about the company that I've worked with. Now, there used to be these times when we would have contests, like global contests. So, all across the world, the contests would happen. And they said, anybody can work overtime how many hours? And it's, you know, so I remember there were times, you know, the company actually, hired dead mattresses, right? And they would take those mattresses. We had a few empty conference halls. They would put those mattresses there. And they said, if you want to rest for two, three hours, come back and take calls, you can do that. It was so huge. No, many, many times, you would sleep for a couple of hours, put the alarm on our phone, wake up, go back, take calls. All we would do, 16, 18 hours, of course, right? We just go for our refreshments, maybe 10 minutes, rush back in. Why? Because we were motivated to win those contests or because of global contests all across the world. And there were many contests that we won, right? Why? Because we're motivated with something. Normally, we wouldn't do it. But that season, we did it. But here's the thing, when we are motivated, when we do things for the glory of God, whatever we do, it must be motivated from Him. There will be times when people will be rude, people will be very discourteous. They may be little you. It's okay. It's okay. You can just serve them with a smile. Especially if you're working and they say, what, you are like this, you do this, you didn't do this, or they may be little you, be very rude to you. Stay calm under pressure. That comes from the wisdom of God, right? Stay calm under pressure. Now, this is not only in the workplace, but even in ministry. Sometimes in ministry, we have so many things that are happening at one time. This is happening. There are families going through this. All of them are coming and sharing with you. And there's pressure. Just stay calm under pressure. Keep your ambition kingdom focused. As I keep teaching, if we do post your questions, then you can either unmute and ask your questions also. If you feel free to stop me, no problem. Keep your ambition kingdom focused. I love this. Matthew chapter 6, 33, seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all the other things shall be added to you. So first things first, top priority. Number one is to seek first the kingdom of God and then all the other things shall be added unto us. Now, the mistake that many of them make nowadays is to seek first the kingdom of God. So I'll sit at home. I'll do 21 days of prayer, 40 days of prayer. And God will provide for me. We know that's not right. That's not the right attitude.  God will send the right people to feed me. Now, remember telling these people, God's not going to send anybody to feed you because you are 25 or 26 years old.  And he was really offended then. He said, how can you say that? You're not trusting God. Because we trust God. But that's not how God works. God told Elijah to go up the mountain. There was a reason for that. God didn't, but when he looked at the New Testament, look at Apostle Paul, he was doing, I think the most ministry ever. And he was doing, you know, he was a tent maker. And so our ambition must be to glorify God. First, the kingdom of God. That's the focus. We have our dreams. We have our goals. We have our pursuits. What we want to become professionally in ministry, everything. But we invite God into it first. Always remember, life is more than just making money. Proverbs 11, 28. He who trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like foliage. Now, we must remember that money is important, but money is not everything in life. Yeah, there's a question from Divya. How can we serve with a smile even when others are unkind? Maybe a theologically incorrect question, but practically difficult to follow. Yes, it is very practically difficult to follow. Right. Now, for example, you know, working in the call center, you have these high rate customers. The call just comes in.  You know what? You've been charging me for this. I want to speak to your manager. And yeah, there are times those that happen. And, you know, but it's something called as de-escalation. I'm sure you have heard of it, Divya. Just being calm under pressure, having that composure. Now, it comes over experience and it comes over, you know, just by asking the Holy Spirit to give you to be wise. Right. So many times what I do is when I feel too much pressure, too much stress inside of me, what I do is I just, I just stop and I say, God help me, give me the wisdom. There will be times when God will ask you to just stay quiet. There will be times God will ask you to, you know, lead you to say something or he may bring to remembrance. And then he also, we also use our wisdom that we've gained over experience. Right. So practically it is very difficult when somebody is shouting at you. Best thing to do is try to calm them down just by kind words. You know, the book of Proverbs says kind words, kind words puts off wrath. Right.  And if you are just giving kind words, it is nine out of 10 times automatically, the other person just calms down. Right. Now it's biblical, but it's also, you know, it's also something that is, I would say, common, commonly done nowadays.  Maybe kind words is something that will really help at that time.  But you can, we just need to like, you know, tell ourselves, okay, so help me, give me the wisdom to. Yes. But as you say, it is practically very difficult, but we can do it. We can do it with the help of the Holy Spirit. Right. Right. So, yes, life is more than just making money, right? There are intangibles, right? There's meaningful relationships. There's serving people. There's this joy of accomplishment, right? Fulfilling a purpose in life. Sometimes it's not always money. Right. You know, sometimes I ask my mother, you know, I'm happy, happy with what you have done. And she's, she always tells me I'm satisfied with my life because I spent 45 years teaching children, 45 years as a teacher. She's not satisfied. She keeps saying, you know, we didn't have much. We didn't earn much. You know, we didn't have big luxuries in life, but I was so, I'm so content. I was so fulfilled. And I remember she was saying, you know, I wouldn't mind doing it all over again. That's a contentment, right? There's more than the money. Teachers, primary teachers, they don't really get much, but there was this sense of, I've served people. I've served the government. I've served children. You know, there's this fulfilling feeling in life. It's more than always thinking about money.  Right. So you serve God and you use the money that God gives you. What, when does it go wrong? When we keep thinking about money, our mind, we wake up with thinking about money. It's afternoon to thinking about money. Night to thinking about money. Then there's something wrong. You need to check our heart attitude. Now it's sad to say that this is even crept into the ministry. I remember this many years ago. I went for a meeting. Maybe I think it was 2019. I went for a meeting because every time as pastors, we only keep sharing the word and ministering to people. So I just wanted to hear or sermon. So I went and after the whole meeting, I just went to the pastor who was preached and I said, can you pray for me when I'm in ministry? I didn't tell him I'm a pastor and all that. He said, pray for me. I'm in the ministry. Pray that God gives me the strength of wisdom. And for the things ahead, just simple prayer. I was surprised with what he said. He said, yeah, I'll give you, I'll pray for you. Give you a prophetic word and you can go and put your offering there. It didn't strike me at first. But then later, you know, as he was talking to me, I realized and I sense the Holy Spirit saying step away. But it was too late because I already asked him to pray. And I said, see, I don't want any prophetic word. I don't require any prophetic words from now. He definitely, he was offended. I said, just pray for me and for my family. There was some prayer. But I knew what he was getting at. You see that his mind more than serving people, praying for this individual who has come. He said, I'll pray. You can go and put your offering in that box there. Now, I thank God for, you know, for reminding me and just helping me at that moment. But we never know how many people he has done this to. Well, meaning maybe people are coming for prayer or lost their loved ones or people, their loved ones are in hospitals, children are unwell. We never know how many people he's prayed for and asked for offering. I was taken aback. I was really, you know, I remember praying to God and saying, God, never should money be a reason for doing anything whether in the workplace or in the ministry. God will provide. You have the vision. You have, you and I have the right heart motives. If he has given us the calling, he will also provide for it. He will provide for it. So we don't always think about money. Money is something that God gives us to use, but God is our master, right? Always walk in the fear of the Lord. Problems 15, 16. Better is a little with a fear of the Lord than great treasure with trouble. What a wonderful words. Better is a little with a fear of the Lord. To walk in the fear of the Lord is to walk in reverence, to honor the Lord. That means to be God conscious in everything that we do. Whatever we do, is this something that God would be pleased in? Is this something that God would be pleased if I do this or if I don't do this, but God be glorified? Is it something that will dishonor God's name? I don't know, when I was in Bible college, it's a very simple thing, but it stuck with me. We had the tables there. We had a lot of tables, and so we had like about 30 or 30 odd students in my batch. I remember some of the students would write on the table. I would be so upset. I said, why would you write on the table? So I would tell them, why would you do that? It's not yours. If it's yours, would you write on it? So why would you write? Did drawing stars or drawing some things on the table? And these are not toddlers. These are people who are getting ready to be pastors and leaders in the church coloring on the table. Many times I told them, hey, it's not doing that. It's not yours. It's God's. Whatever is here is God's. During those times, these midterm exams, they were very strict. So we would have a stable setup. We would have these answer papers, question papers given with answer papers, and then the invigilator of the pastor, whoever is invigilating, would make sure that all of us are doing it the right way. Many times people would say, hey, you know what, I saw this answer from the book. And for me it was, you're happy that we're doing this, but we need to have the fear of the Lord. I would rather get no marks than to copy and get a hundred marks. It doesn't make sense. So when we apply it to the workplace, it should be the same because the fear of the Lord, when you have the fear of the Lord, you and I will not do things in the wrong way. Here's the important thing. Train yourself in small things to honour God. These are small things. If you have to log in at nine o'clock, example looking, log in at nine o'clock, small thing. One of the things my dad always used to tell me, and my brothers, was Monday to Saturday, I don't ask you where you go, what you're doing, you'll go all over the place. I don't stop you. Sunday morning, I want you to be sitting in church five minutes before church starts. So we would be grumbling, oh man, Sunday, but we knew one day to Saturday, he didn't ask us where you go, what you're doing, or we knew Sunday came, we would wake up, whether we are grumbling, whether we liked it or not, we would wake up, get ready, make sure that we were in church five minutes before. We can sleep in church. It wouldn't matter to him, but he wanted us in church. The reason is, he wanted to, now I understand, he wanted us to, he wanted to instill the fear of the Lord in us, do things rightly, and train us. You would always say, you know what I mean, dad would always say, how can you make God wait? How can you make God wait? You need to go there earlier and wait for God. I've made so much sense, you know, when you think of it, ask yourself, does this honor God, does this demonstrate reverence to God? Is it right in the eyes of God? And the most powerful verse, Proverbs 9.10 says, fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. So start small, start small. Now this could also be, in terms of exercise for your body, it could be in the workplace, ministry, family, start small. It could be something very small, but over time, you're instilling this in your children, and in your family as well. Next one, the fruit of the spirit are winning attitudes, walk in the spirit. Paul writes to the Galatians, he writes that one thing, but the spirit produces love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, humility, and self-control, and there is no law against such things. You and I have the Holy Spirit. I always wonder, imagine Daniel and Joseph, the Holy Spirit came and powered them and left, but you and I, as believers, have the Holy Spirit always with us, and we can walk in the fruit of the spirit. I think in the book of Colossians, he talks about things that we put on, I think it's Colossians 2, 2, chapter 3, one of those chapters, things that we put on and things that we put off as believers, and these are things that we have to do. The Holy Spirit is there, but we have to take the effort to do the things. The Holy Spirit brings about a transformation of who we are, our character, our attitudes, our entire personality changes because we're walking in the fruit of the Holy Spirit. So there are nine fruits and nine traits that we can consider. Love, joy, being positive, being passionate, being enthusiastic, peace, a sense of calmness, even when things are not going your way, patience, endurance, commitment, maybe you're in the workplace and doing the same thing for the past three years, if you've got poison, anything happening, maybe you must walk in patience, wait for the Lord, kindness, gentle word and deed, goodness, demonstrating generosity, benevolence, faithfulness, being sincere, being dependable, humility, just being humble, not boasting much more about ourselves and self-control, the ability to self-govern ourselves to direct our energies and walk in wisdom, walk wisely as well. So these are the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit. Now, with this, it's not like, okay, only those in ministry must have all this. We must all walk in this. Now, as we do this, we continue to grow and I'm not saying that we may not get upset, we may not feel weary, we may not feel sad or get angry, we may go through all that, but that is the moment. You just have to say, Holy Spirit, I know you're inside me, I know I have the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Fill me, so if you're feeling restless, fill me with your peace, a peace that passes through all understanding. Help me not to worry about what's happening in this workplace or groupism and all these things, wrong things that are happening, politics, don't worry about that.  So walking in the Spirit is powerful. It really changes things in our lives. Do your work obediently, sincerely, willingly and cheerfully. In Bible times, there were slaves and masters. Today, there is employees and employers, so you've got presidents, CEOs, managers, team leaders, you've got that whole hierarchy. So we wouldn't say masters and slaves, but we say employers and employees. Be willing to obey, be sincere, be wholeheartedly work. Work cheerfully. Even when you don't feel like, put that smile on your face and try to do what God has called you to do. Sometimes you have to push ourselves. Sometimes we may have to drag ourselves, but we have to do it. Obey means to follow instructions with a yielded heart, staying aligned to what has been asked of you being sincere means to do something with genuine interest, even when you're not being watched. You can be sincere when you're watched. But what about when you're not being watched? Especially, not for example, you're working and your logout time is 5pm. This is an example. You logout at 5pm, but everyone have left. It's just you and office, and you know that if you logout at 4.30pm, nobody's going to know and nothing's going to happen. But what are we going to do? It's a choice. It's not going to be a big problem. They're not going to call you and terminate you. Nothing's going to happen. But when we work sincerely with a willing heart, that, hey, this is the number of hours I've been scheduled to work. This is what I have to do. This is what I signed up for. So whether people are watching or not watching. And at 4.30pm, if it's another half an hour, I go ahead and work for that half an hour. Now, sometimes, the enemy can come. We know his tactics. He comes with the arguments and reasoning. Okay, everyone have gone. It's all right. Nobody knows the managers have gone. Half an hour, it's nothing. What can you achieve in half an hour? Not like the company is going to get millions in half an hour. Go ahead. So anyways, by the time you go down, get to your vehicle, it's going to be 5.30pm. So it's almost the same. The enemy is good at that. But what do we do? Destroy every argument. We cast down every argument, every reasoning. Right? And then we do what is right in the eyes of being sincere. It's very, very, very important. In whatever we're doing, in our family, looking after our children in terms of ministry, work please, just being sincere. So God, nobody's watching, but you're watching me. And he will reward us for being sincere. And I have plenty of stories that I can share of just... I'm not saying I did it joyfully. But I was like, God, I'm doing it because I know you are watching me and I'm doing it because I want to honor you. But it's very hard for me. Lord, please help me. And somehow I thank God He enabled me to do it. And thank God for those. Just being sincere. And over time, it has helped me. Of course, it has helped me. And I understand that I'm not doing it for people. I'm doing it because I honor God. Right? Philippians 2, 14 and 15 do everything without complaining or arguing so that you may be innocent and pure as God's perfect children who live in a world of corrupt and sinful people. You must shine among them like stars, lighting up the skies.  You must shine among them like stars, lighting up the skies. Do everything without complaining or arguing. Now, I'm getting there. It's not like I'm saying I do everything without complaining. I don't argue but to tell you the truth, there are times I have complained. And I haven't expressed it out. I thought, oh, man, why is this happening this way? I thank God for His Holy Spirit. You know, in our weakness, He is our strength. We can always go to Him and He enables us. Loyalty is essential. Be faithful. Proverbs 3, 3 and 4, never let go of loyalty and faithfulness. Tie them around your neck. Ride them on your heart. If you do this, both God and people will be pleased with you. And faithfulness. To be loyal simply means to be committed. To serve the vision and purpose of the organization being loyal to a team, especially if you're working in a corporate sector, you've got a team. Just go ahead and build that team. Work together in that team. Loyalty is not found easily these days. Because of many things, people tend to place personal interests ahead of name and ahead of growth and the well-being of the organization. So yes, there are times when it doesn't mean when God is giving you a promotion and you move to another company. It doesn't mean you're being, loyal to the company. Let's satisfy that. So for example, you're working in a company for five years, God has opened a door to become a senior manager in another company. You don't have to feel guilty that here, I've been loyal to five years here, am I being, am I not being loyal to this company?  But in that remaining maybe one or two months that you have to work in the company, your attitude is what matters. Are you loyal to the work that you're doing? Now you know that you're going to leave this company and move to another company.  You know that even if you don't work, it's okay because I already got a job in the other company. A better job, better paying job, better position, everything's better there. But we need to be loyal for these two months. It's very hard. You know, you're going to move out, but you know you have to be loyal as well. That's what loyalty is. And Jesus narrated the story of that irresponsible manager who in loop chapter 16, let's look at that, loop 16, 10 and 12 says and if, sorry, whoever is faithful in small matters will be faithful in large ones. Whoever is dishonest in small matters will be dishonest in large ones. If then, you have not been faithful in handling worldly wealth, how can you be trusted with true wealth? And if you have not been faithful with what belongs to someone else, who will give you what belongs to you? Now, in relation to this, faithfulness in small matters demonstrates the ability to be faithful in big things. And faithful in small things, you'll be able to be faithful in bigger things. Faithfulness in handling money.  Are you faithful? Are you able to, you know, be giving to the Lord? Are you providing for the family? It may be very minimal. Are you providing for the family? Are you providing, are you making sure that the children are meeting their needs? Faithfulness in small matters, then eventually God gives us bigger. Then, faithfulness in what belongs to someone else, then when the right time comes, you will have your own. You will see that God will bring faithful people. Right? Now, for example, you want to start a ministry, but it's there in your heart, or you want to start your own business. But now time is you're working for a company or you're in the ministry. Now, if I don't work faithfully in the company, what will happen is over time, if I start a company of my own, I will have employees that will not work for me, because I have not done my part of being faithful. If I have not been faithful in the ministry that I'm working under to the pastor, the ministry that I'm working in, when I start my own ministry, I may not have people who are faithful. Right? So, we will be rewarded according to what we do. Right? So, let's do one more point and make close. Be accountable at all times even when you are not asked for. Right? So, accountability is very important. This is in terms of resources, time, the tool, people, money, infrastructure, so many things that are available. We need to be accountable. I'm saying, okay, this is what I have. I'll be accountable for this. There are a lot of companies. We have this whole thing of writing reports and selling maybe weekly, monthly, quarterly reports. But these are reports that are important because what you're doing is you're being accountable for what has been assigned to you. Now, sometimes, certain companies may not ask for reports or, you know, they may say, okay, just work, right? Especially in a time now that we're working from home, many companies are working from home to people there. Be accountable. So, you can always send an email and say, this is what I've done over the past two weeks. This is what I'm going to do in the coming week. What happens when you're being accountable is that even when you're not asked for it, you're saying, God, I'm honoring you with the work that has been assigned to me. Ultimately, be accountable not only to your boss but also to God. So, God is, first things first, you're saying, okay, God, I'm accountable to you. I know that I have to stand and be given an account of what I'm doing. I also want to be accountable to the person who's ahead and know my boss who is working above me. Being accountable helps us to really set the tone of our work to know that, hey, I'm being accountable to God, I'm being accountable to my boss and that way we will know that we're on the right page. Right, so we'll close today. Sorry, it went a little ahead. Right, thank you so much for joining and we'll see you on Wednesday for the third hour. Have a great week. God bless.


Hello there, my beautiful, lovely internet friends.  So over the past six months, I have been going through the process of ending a almost decade-long relationship and ending a marriage. The word that we like to use for that is divorce. Now, that's a word that I have avoided using with all of the power in me, because it feels dirty and wrong and super shameful and like failure. Understandably, our culture often sees divorce that way, but also coming from an evangelical Christian background. I grew up with a very ingrained belief that divorce was never the answer, but it is something that I am going through now. And I've avoided talking about anything regarding that subject for, you know, personal reasons for the people around me, but also because the amount of judgment and icky feelings that are tied up in that word for me and a lot of people are extensive. However, on this channel, I've always made a point of trying to say the things that I'm feeling, because I'm guessing I'm not the only one who's feeling them. Here are a few things I wish someone would have told me about getting divorced before I started this process. Would it have changed anything? Logistically, no. Would it have been good to be mentally prepared for the absolute disaster zone of a life that it leaves in its wake? It would have been good. Okay, so before we dive into my list, I am very excited to introduce you to our new sponsor today, Helix. Getting really good rest is very important to me for a variety of reasons, primarily so I can function, which is why I'm very excited to introduce you to Helix Sleep. Helix Sleep makes premium mattresses and bedding that are customized to your needs and shift right to your door. And anything that can save me a trip to the store already a big fan of. So every single body is different and that is why Helix created a sleep quiz which you can take and it will match you with your perfect mattress. They have a lot of different options and the ability to take their quiz along with a partner. Based on my results, Helix matched me with their Twilight mattress, which, and this is a fact, is not only Joe but also Puffy approved. I'm a side sleeper and I much prefer a firmer mattress to kind of the softer one, so this one's perfect for me. My back and my neck feel really supported, so waking up, I'm not achy and sort of out of it, you know the feeling. And the firmness here is exactly like I like it. With other mattresses I've had in the past, I've had issues with lower back pain, upper back pain, kind of almost feeling compressed when I was breathing lying down on them, not realizing it was just the wrong mattress for me. And this Helix sleep mattress is absolutely fantastic and solves those issues. So I want my mattress to be a place I actually want to come home to and go to sleep on cause it's cozy and comfy and supports me. And if you also want to enjoy where you sleep at night, Helix is a fantastic choice. Start to finish from the quiz to the shipping to showing up at my front door. This was a really simple process. Myself, guests and the puppies have been using this for about a month now. With your Helix sleep mattress, not only do you get a 100 day sleep trial to make sure it really works for you, but there's also a 10 year warranty on these. They're also financing options and flexible payment plans. Helix delivers right to your door if you live in the US and it's super easy to get set up and started. Like I being not a large person was able to get this set up on my own, which I'm pretty proud of. True story, ever since I set up this mattress, this is where I find my dogs the majority of the time, which makes sense cause it's super cozy and comfy. And we are all about comfort here. I absolutely love having a Helix sleep mattress and I think you will too. So if you're in the market for a new bed, check them out. Also, if you use the link in my description or go to helixsleep.com slash Footless Joe, you can get up to $200 off your mattress and you also get two free pillows. One can never have enough. Make sure you check out the link. Thank you again to Helix for sponsoring today's video and let's jump back into it. Shall we? Mwah, we shall. So as I go into my list of things that no one tells you about of course, I even made a list so I wouldn't get scared and forget things. I wanna make it really clear that I'm not gonna talk about any details of our relationship. It's simply not important to put on the internet. I wish all the best for him. He wishes all the best for me. When I made the decision to end this decade, almost long relationship, I wasn't thinking about every aspect of my life and every relationship in my life. I was thinking about what was gonna be the best and healthiest thing for me and for us. So I made the decision first and then I was like, I'll deal with the fallout. I'll deal with the consequences. You know, it's funny.  When you end a relationship as significant as something long-term or marriage, there's literally no peace of you and there's no peace of your life that it does not touch. So when I entered into this relationship, I was barely 21 and now I'm 31. So one could argue that the majority of my adult life has been developed within the framework of this partnership, going through significant life changes and developmental stages. Whether it was rocky or stable or whatever, everything came from this base of this marriage. And I did so much growing throughout the past decade, right? Like, we all do. Specifically when it came to my mental health, developing coping skills and coping tools and, you know, getting through trauma, getting through pretty massive life changes, like losing my leg and all that came along with that. And I thought in my brain, if I walk away from this relationship, those tools I have still developed and while that is absolutely accurate, it was shocking to me how every little piece of how I knew how to take care of myself, take care of my brain, take care of my body, move about the world and life, came from the foundation of that relationship. When it was no longer there, my entire identity and the way that I viewed the world was absolutely shook. And while a lot of like the same pieces, you know, I still had a job, I still knew that it was good for me to like journal and move my body for my mental health. Like some of the basic tools were still there, but the nuance of all of it, I felt like I was starting over from scratch as a human being, as an adult, as a woman. You don't really think about how many pieces of who you are become not entwined with but very influenced by the person you spend the majority of your life with.  And while on the one hand, there were moments of happiness or excitement of like, oh, I get to choose this, I get to build this part of me. A lot of it was just pure terror because every like knee-jerk reaction that I had to a situation involved my partner and that no longer existed. And so I felt lost and spinning and confused for a very long time. And I'm kind of assembling some of those pieces, but gosh darn, they aren't all there yet and I'm still working on it. The biggest thing that came as an absolute shock to me was the way that people respond to you telling them that you are ending your relationship, one that they are not in the middle of, right? When you're with someone, you two are the only people who actually are in that relationship and know it. The amount of judgment, strong opinions, or just straight up being thought of as a horrible person and a villain was really surprising to me. Relationships that I had that existed before I even met him got really affected by me saying that I was getting divorced, especially if people around you come from religious backgrounds. Understandably, the word divorce carries a pretty heavy punch because it's something that really isn't super acceptable in many of those circles. And I knew that, but it didn't really make it any easier to have people thinking of me so differently, like as a person, because I decided that getting divorced was what needed to happen for me. I had to learn really quickly to be okay, being seen however people were gonna see me because I didn't have the energy to try to like manage everybody's perception. That was very difficult because I spent so much of my life developing survival skills in the world in part by people liking me, by keeping relationships good, by trying to communicate and be there for people. It's always been important to me to make people happy. That's something I'm working through in therapy and have been for a while, but as all this occurred, I realized really quickly that there was no possible way that I could make sure everyone was good with this decision because they weren't going to be. The only person who had to be good with it was me. And also realizing that I was gonna make mistakes throughout the process. There was no way that I could handle every conversation, every relationship perfectly. I did not have the bandwidth for that. And so I tried my very best and also understood that there were probably situations or things or words that I said that I might have to revisit and have a conversation with someone about or apologize. Something that I wish people would have told me was that everyone will have an opinion and most of those people will let you know one way or the other what that opinion is. At the end of the day, I think it is vital to ask the people you trust who are around you for input on major decisions. But when that input is coming from everywhere, all you gotta do is be good with your choice. That's really it. If you're solid in that, you can choose to handle people's opinions and advice any way that you want at a certain point. Once I had like talked to the major people in my life, I kind of just tuned it out because I knew what I needed to do. And if someone agreed or disagreed, that was on them. So like I said, we were together for a long period of time, meaning that we made a lot of friends as a couple. We had a number of really good couple friends who like the four of us or the six of us or whatever would hang out and do stuff. It was great. Love those people. You know, many of those people didn't pick sides. Staying friends with couple friends when you are no longer a part of a couple is uncomfortable. What I mean by that is the entire dynamic shifts because you're used to being paired with someone. It's really weird to go to events without your person there.  You kind of have to just completely explore that friendship all over again. And that one can still be pretty uncomfortable for me. I've had to make very conscious choices to be like, no, go do the thing.  This is absolutely worth maintaining. Everybody wants to be here, but there have been moments when I'm like, I just want to cut ties with absolutely anyone who knew me as a part of this couple just because it's weird and uncomfortable to like reestablish a new normal. And that is kind of true across the board when you're building this new life for yourself. And I guess it's kind of obvious looking back, but that is another thing I didn't really expect was like the awkwardness of going out with friends who used to be couple friends with it, it just shifts. Even like family relationships, right? My parents, my brother, my sister-in-law, these are my people, right? Like they are 100% my people and it still feels so weird being there without the person I've always been there with. Worth going to, absolutely. But being prepared for that sense of like loss and loneliness and discomfort and just figuring out who you are again in that dynamic, that's challenging. Okay, so another thing that is mostly just really annoying is habits. Not all of them, but pretty much every habit that you have is gonna shift a little bit if you are ending a long-term relationship. I cannot tell you the amount of times that something would happen. I'd reach for my phone to text the person who was my person for years before being like, no, that's not what I'm doing now. But it was just a knee-jerk reaction. It was just sort of out of something I'd done so many times or driving home. I drove home to my old house multiple times before realizing, oh yeah, that's right. Everything has changed. I don't live there anymore. But you have all of these habits and all these kind of pre-programmed things. And if you end a relationship, you're gonna be reaching for your phone to text that person or call that person when major things happen. Something else that feels kind of like taboo to say, I shouldn't be saying this because I'm the person that ended it. There is so much grieving when you are going through divorce. And when you're the person who made the decision, it can kind of feel like you shouldn't have the right to feel those things. At least that's what I felt like for me. I was like, you know, this is my choice. It is and has been the best thing for me. That does not detract from the immense amount of loss and grief ending a long-term relationship is. It is intensely painful, regardless of the circumstances or how cordial or fine or not it goes. And if you ever face something like this, I hope you at least have a couple people around you who will remind you that it's okay to feel everything you're feeling. I've had a couple of those people in my life and I'm really grateful for them because it's just this weird, bizarre roller coaster of anger and hurt and loss and grief and missing the person who knew you so well and sobbing in the car, then screaming in the car, then being totally fine. Everything's fine and then being a wreck again. Like it is a, whoo, it comes in big waves but as time goes on, those waves kind of even out and I'm like in like this stage now. You know, it was like this over here now and maybe we'll get there eventually. I don't know, but grieving that, like feeling those things, it was really important to being able, you know, to move through your life and get to where you want to be going. It's really hard to lose the person who knew you the best. Though my platform, my social media presence is often about vulnerability and saying things honestly. I really have trouble and I always have in real life with that. Like actually letting people into who I am when they're sitting next to me, that's hard, that's scary, that's a real challenge for me and having spent so much time with someone where in many ways I allowed them in. I allowed them to be that person though there were certainly issues, they still knew me better than anyone else did at that point in my life, except for me. So losing that, losing the person who you share so many memories with who knows so many aspects of you who has seen you in many different situations, again, whether or not it was always healthy or a good thing is really bizarre because it feels like a piece of you is leaving with them and then on the flip side, trying to imagine putting in that much work with anyone else, friendship, relationship, whatever it is, seems too painful and too exhausting and overwhelming sometimes and I think that kind of going back to what I was already talking about, you've gotta grieve that loss.  Of course it's gonna hurt when they go regardless of the circumstances, good or bad. So the last thing I wanna touch on is shame.  Like I talked about at the beginning of this video, divorce carries certain implications depending on what communities you exist in. Pretty universally though, it's not seen as a good thing and in a lot of cultures and communities, it's actively seen as a bad thing and I would make the argument though, perhaps I am wrong here, that especially being a woman, ending a heterosexual marriage, there's like an extra large amount of judgment and assumptions made about you as a woman because you're doing this and the amount of shame and failure that going through a divorce brings specifically is pretty extensive. It's funny because I haven't questioned my decision since I made it. Have I thought about it a lot? Absolutely, but I mean, I haven't been like shaky on it or wavered from it. Once I knew, I knew, you know, I took a lot of steps in between there but once the decision was made, it was done.  Still in some moments are pretty heavy, are pretty loud and the feeling of failure because in our minds, marriage is supposed to be forever. That's certainly what I believed when I got married that is what I was entirely dedicated to and then things changed. When I'm thinking about it logically and rationally, I don't see this as a failure. I see it as the right choice. Life takes turns, things happen, things happen in relationships and it is absolutely okay to decide that it's not the best thing for you and to move on. Even though I know that rationally, the weight of you failed is still really strong even though I don't see that relationship as a failure but it is really hard to shake kind of the shame and failure paradox and it's something that I am still working through. There are so many more things that I could say about this process but those are some of like that the first thing that come to mind for me, the way that relationships shift, people change sides, you lose your identity, habits change, your entire life shifts, every single aspect of it. So many pieces of that are intensely painful. It's gonna take time. It makes sense that the last few months have been awful. On top of a few other things that have occurred in my life like losing my dogs. Like going through this is gonna be a really rough process in every area of your life and that is something that I wish I had been a little bit better prepared for and understood that like, oh okay, literally everything is gonna shift. I gotta be along for the ride. It's gonna hurt, it's gonna be hard and I'm gonna find my way through it. Kind of six months into this now I feel like I have a better handle on things. There are still aspects that are insanely difficult. It's still ongoing, it's painful, it's weird but I am building this new life for myself. I am figuring out what I want for me and going after it. I'm doing a whole lot of reflecting at the risk of sounding super cliche, working on myself, working on what I actually want, who I actually wanna be and taking steps towards those things. So if you're going through this, it does get better. It's just a process to get there. A huge thank you again to Helix for sponsoring today's video. Check out their link in the description. Helix is a company I would highly recommend. It was so easy to actually get the mattress, get everything set up and to you watching this video right now. Thank you for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today. You could be anywhere else in the world doing anything else.  Thank you. A big thank you also to my patrons over on Patreon for continuing to support these videos. Your generosity is the reason why I can do what I do. So thank you. I love you guys, I'm thinking about you and I'll see you in the next video. Bye guys.