We are very fortunate to have five very talented creators who have past and present and upcoming projects with first, second, and I could go on and on about them, but we'll talk about first, second I think throughout the presentation, so let's just go on the line and introduce ourselves. All right. My name is Jason Chiga. I've been making comics for almost 25 years now, believe it or not, and I've most recently had a book out through first, second called Demon. It's a four volume series and it was released sort of on an unusual schedule. All four volumes were released over the course of one year. It's not true. No way. How'd you do that? That's amazing. Well, it's not like I drew it in one year, but yeah, all the readers could kind of keep up with the story and wouldn't have to wait a year to continue it. Anyways, that's me. My name is Mariko Tamaki. I have been making comics for 10 years, so way less than you. My first, I mean, I'm most well known for the graphic novels that I created with my cousin Jillian Tamaki, so we did a book called Skim with Groundwood Books and then this one summer with First, Second, and I also write for DC Comics and Marvel and Anybody Who Wants Me to Write Comics really. And I have a book coming out with First, Second called Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me, which is something I'm working on with Rosemary Valero O'Connell. I have been working on Pishmina or had been working on Pishmina for four years, so paltry comparison, but I've been doing illustri- oh, I'm Nidhi Chinani. I know my name, so, you know. And it took me four years to make Pishmina. I'm now working on my second book with First, Second called Jukebox, which will be out in 2020, we hope. And that's me. My name's Lisa Brown. I am working on my first graphic novel, which I'm not sure when it's going to come out, I think 2020 as well. But I do mostly picture books for little kids, and I also do comic strips. And I have a book of comic strips coming out, I don't know when. Hi, I'm Tin Fam, and I've been drawing comics for, since 2000, which is, what, 18 years now? Unlike everyone else on the panel, I'm the one different guy. Comics is not my full-time profession, I'm also a teacher. So I draw comics kind of on the side. So I really don't know when my next book's coming, it'll just come when we finish, or I finish drawing something. And right now it's going really slow, so. But I did this amazing graphic novel called Sumo, which is probably one of the best graphic novels I've ever made, but it was from First, Second, and yeah, so, yeah. Clearly no one on the production side of things here, because we're all like, nah, I don't know, maybe. Well, I do comics and teach on the side, so, you know. There's some cross-summing. Yeah, we all have jobs, I teach as well. Yeah, we all work for Living Tin. Yeah, I'm a landlord, man. Sort of. Maybe some of us don't have to wake up in the morning, but that doesn't mean we're not working. Oh, I have to wake up in the morning. I have a tiny alarm clock called My Child. I have a bigger alarm clock called My Child. Yeah, I don't have an alarm clock. I have a phone. I see these guys work.  Okay, so who wakes up the earliest out of this? I do. What time do you wake up? I wake up at six o'clock every morning. Okay. Anybody earlier? No. Not earlier, but not much later. I wake up around six. I mean, isn't that the reason we all took this job? Is that we don't have to get dressed in the morning? Yes, yes. Okay, so I heard the year 2020 mentioned. That sounds like the far distant future.  I think I'm the only person here who writes and doesn't draw. Yes. So for me, obviously, it's a very different process because I can't do it by myself. So I have to make sure that it's something someone wants to do with me. And I am mostly focused on, obviously, the writing part of it. So for this one summer, it was just a very loose idea about kids at the cottage. And we put together an outline which was completely inaccurate. Had nothing to do with the final book. So we put together this very kind of what we thought the book would be. And Jillian did some illustrations to go with it. And for a second ended up buying the novel. And then I go off for like six months and write the script that I write when I work on graphic novels, which is a very loose like almost theatrical script. And then the editors look at it and they say that this looks nothing like the outline and we have this like ensuing conversation about whether or not that's okay. And then Jillian and I actually I mean, most of the time when I work with an illustrator, there's like an extensive process of like making sure the editing process for me for comics is making sure everybody's on the same page about what the story should be. So we ended up doing a lot of editing between the two of us. And then it ended up getting approved by for a second. And then Jillian disappears for like two years because she works relatively quickly. And then I see so I see this like I have an idea of what it's going to look like and then it just comes back as this like reality, but I know it's really hard. I know it takes a long time and it's very difficult, but I don't see any of that stuff. I'm curious. Do you have any input like with Jillian because she's your cousin, but beyond Jillian, do you have any input on choosing your artist? I generally speaking, I actually have when you work with because I do a lot of trade comic writing and there you just you get whoever they decide is the person who's going with you. But for Laura Dean, I knew what I wanted it to look like and I knew the feeling that I wanted it to have, which is weird because then you only know that feeling when you see the artwork of somebody and then that's the feeling like I didn't go to them and say I wanted to look like this. I just knew that when we saw someone's artwork, something would feel right. And as soon as I saw Rosemary's artwork, I knew that she would be an amazing fit and then you just I just prayed like that's so stressful because you're just like the book won't work if this person doesn't say it's like prom. It's like prom every day where you're like, please say yes, please say yes. So yeah, and it just ended up working out that that she was really into it as well. Really kind of opposite sides of the wall apparently like freaking out and both hoping it would work out. We didn't know we were both like really nervous and freaking out and then when we finally got to talk to each other, once the agent stuff was done, we were like, yeah, it was beautiful. With me, I wrote the graphic novel script a long time ago and then I was trying it was my favorite thing and it's the project I always wanted to do and I was trying to carve out time to do it between teaching and my picture books and my child. And so finally I went away by myself for two weeks and like cranked out 30 pages of pencils and that's how I pitched it and it's like finally finally I get to do this thing. So it feels like I've been working on it forever but it hasn't been forever because I feel like I start, when I start drawing is when I really work on it. What's the name, do you have the name, the title? It's called The Living Doll. My process is a little different because I'm not a full-time cartoonist and I don't depend on drawing comics to like pay rent and all that stuff. It's both a blessing and a curse because it's a blessing because I don't work very fast and I don't have any, these guys all have probably a thousand stories in their heads they want to do, I have none. So like my stories come very like once in a very long time I get an inspiration to do a story or something like that. So it's a blessing that I don't depend on that to eat because then I wouldn't eat very well. But it's also kind of a little bit of a curse because it makes me think I'll just do it whenever I do it. So I work a lot slower but I get an idea and then I start drawing and me and Jason actually have a little pack that we're not going to, we don't pitch our comics anymore, Jason might go out, but like I don't like to show, I don't like to be like hey publisher here's my idea can you give me a contract and then I'll finish the comic. I did that once and it was really hard working that way because then they want this change and they want this change and this because I don't depend on it to eat I'm just like I don't want to do this. So it was a lot easier when I did Sumo where I basically finished the comic and then they were like oh we like this comic we'll buy it and I'm like cool you know and then that was it was a lot harder when you pitch a story or pitch an idea and then they wanted this way nowadays they actually want you to pitch a story they don't want to finish work because they want to kind of guide you to kind of like do what they would kind of like would fit their mold a little bit more so it's a little bit of harder sell if you like do a book and you're like here it is you want to publish it you know so it's a bit more of a risk but I feel like because you know I don't need it it's something that I'd rather do because then you know if they don't want it someone doesn't want it you can always just make it yourself publish it because it's so easy to like you know we used to make minis we came from the world where we're like zero-roxing our comics and stapling them and going to cons and trying to get someone to buy for $1.50 you know and so I can always go back to that you know it's not a big deal for me it'll probably be the exact same amount of people that bought the first second book as the person that bought my little minis so it's not any different but so my process is basically coming up with the idea and I don't really write so I'll basically have an idea a loose outline of what's going to happen in my head and I just start drawing and then once I start drawing then look at the drawings and I'm like okay now these people need to say something so I'll go in and put things in and it makes for very loose things because it's like a lot of like photoshopping where I'm like oh a word bubble's gotta fit in here you know like lasso that move that down put a word balloon in there so it's a little bit of a messier process but I guess it's the only kind of process that works for me so that's how I've been doing it for whatever long I've been doing it I think I'd recommend that way of working well I know it's hard for you but if it's possible I'd recommend writing as much as you can in the thumbnails of the story because I always felt comics is a visual medium and I feel the bulk of the storytelling should be done through the visuals can you explain thumbnails real quick? thumbnails are very very loose sketches of what each page and each panel on the page is going to look like so they could just be stick figures or they could be a little more detailed than that too but they're just a very loose guideline as to what's going to be in each panel how the page layout is going to look but yeah I after I have the thumbnails and kind of a loose script of what all the characters say it's from that point it's just it's just a matter of penciling and inking I like to I know every cartoonist works a little differently but I like to pencil everything first from beginning to end before I start inking a single panel that way if I need to change something in the story later on it's you know it doesn't require that much work to go back and change a pencil as opposed to changing a complete ink page which is why I mean versus trade comics it's so bizarre because comics trade comics are like finished like they go from the beginning to the end and so by the time you're at the end of this depending on the length of the project the first part is already finished like the first graphic novel I did with DC Comics back when Minx was a thing the first 20 pages were inked and finished and I was like you know but then you get to the editing process and they're like you can't edit like it's done so you don't actually have because it's such a like concrete medium like you can't go back and like it's almost like writing a TV show versus a movie or something exactly but for me from from start to finish for Demon it was about 5 years all together from coming up with with the thumbnails to inking the very last page of the book so it's a long process and I guess it's a little disheartening to think about people you know reading the whole thing in a couple hours but that's comics it took me a couple days just I think it I think it is always poor form to tell a comic book writer how long it took you to read their book I mean it's fine if you read it in an hour but they don't need to hear that it took them 7 years or it took them 5 years so you can just keep that information in your heart and just like thank them for the work they did without like making it seem like it was a race however you read it in 15 minutes and then you read it like once a month for the rest of your life it's okay it is okay like my son knows all the continuity errors say in amulet and will tell or demon there's a lot of continuity your son should not be reading demon he's getting there I don't write a lot in my comics because one I'm not a very good writer and two because of the way I work I don't want to go back in and put more words in so there's not a lot of words in my comics it's not silent but it's I call it poetry comics because I'm lazy and I don't want to write words but like all of sumo all the words if you took all of them it'd probably be about a paragraph if you took all the words together and so people all the time they're like oh man I love your comic I was able to finish that in 5 minutes I hate you because when you read a comic a lot of people would read a novel and I think when you read a comic it's not really like that the drawings say so much they say a lot more sometimes they say even more than the words in my comic like analyzing how I compose each panel and how each panel flows into each another panel is pretty much the way that the story that's the feeling that's everything that I want and when someone just looks through them and just reads the words and then flips through and just kind of basically scans the drawing that's not really reading my comic that's like reading the back cover of a book and trying to figure out what the book's about reading my comic I mean if you really were it would take a lot longer and I think reading any comic is like that if you just read the words then of course it's going to not take very long I mean depending on who wrote them maybe they're really awesome true insight into the human condition or maybe they're just like you know no big deal it's very hard to say what it is that you're getting out of any of the elements I wrote a bunch of words and then when I started thumb nailing I was able to take a lot out yeah so as I thumb nailed I was like oh I don't need this word I don't need this whole sentence that's like my one first advice to a first time comic book artist is to make sure that the words work with the pictures and not the words shouldn't be like telling describing the picture and the pictures shouldn't be illustrating the words they should be working together to like tell a different story so if you're like do a panel where it's a red balloon and your text says oh here's a red balloon then you might want to rethink how you're writing the comic you know I have also what's your deal with red balloons why are you obsessed with them but I've had people like would come to a table when I was trying to see the book and like browse do sumo and then would be like well I just read the whole thing I hate you so much should have a tip jar now you have to pay for it that'd be a good tip jar I like the tip jar idea I think that it's interesting though cause like we're all adults in this room so tell your friends don't tell don't tell comic book writers or artists that it took you an hour to read their book but kids will do this right kids will and they're really proud of their accomplishment but those are the same kids that will go back and read that same book like multiple times and that's what I like about comics being able to finish them in an hour or you know in a day being able to complete it also I feel opens the door for you to go back and revisit it and then take your time to absorb the art and the nuance within all of the work so I mean it's balanced yeah I've had librarians tell me that my book is very successful with reluctant readers like people that don't want to read books love reading my books so I'm kind of like I don't know that's a backhanded compliment but then I thought about them like I think it's a great compliment because when I was a kid I didn't really want to read books but I love reading comic books you know so I mean if kids are getting into reading books by reading my comics or by reading anybody's comics I'm all for that. That also goes back to that statement of like comic books are books like you know graphic novels are books so let's just not differentiate them at all but that's my own. I mean it's a great thing especially for children like being a children's book writer and having a child who was a reluctant reader but he wasn't really a reluctant reader because he was a really good visual reader and comics it's a whole other skill to read a comic and to have the text and the image and being able to read them all at the same time and I think it's like a skill a lot of adults don't have. Yeah and I think too my favorite one of my favorite YouTube series is Strip Penal Naked which is a really amazing comic book this guy Hassan basically like breaks down what it is that you're reading like why is what you're reading so cool like what are the things that you're maybe not thinking about and he did this really amazing thing on color and he did a really great thing on like you know timing and stuff like that in comics and I think it's like the same way with literature that you're growing to understand how metaphors work or how a writer uses time or how a writer uses character you can learn so many things about what it is that you're enjoying like I think that if you're a really comic if you're a solid comic book fan then you will go back and see like what it is that you are really liking in the comics that you like reading hopefully or just do whatever you want I don't care Right so backing up a little bit before you before you became celebrated graphic novelists you were aspiring cartoonists so how did you get your start whether it's your first mini comic your first hand stapled folded thing that you did in grade school what's your secret origin So like Tim mentioned I think a lot of us here got to start doing mini comics which I would I would highly recommend to anyone who's thinking about getting into comics because it's it's a wonderful way to to have a finished product in your hands that you can kind of bring people and bring around to shows mail sell through the mail even though I know probably a lot of youngsters today they get their start with web comics I would recommend the mini comics route You're old school So clearly old school I would recommend wasting money The thing is that Kinko's isn't a thing as much as it used to be used to be like actually like I had an office job and we had a photocopier so that's because that's the thing you need to have access to if you want to do mini comics is you need to photocopy them There's copy stores everywhere There's not copy stores everywhere Oh my gosh There's one in Piedmont I can think of Oh yeah that's the one I go to That's a good one That is a good one The cartoonist goes to They're nice over there I do think the thing that people should consider is that I think anybody who wants to go into comics and wants to write a graphic novel is crazy You should never start with something that is like bigger than you are The great thing about mini comics is it's a short story It's like taking something that's four panels or taking something that's five pages The first comic I ever did was a mini comic version of skim and it was sponsored by this Canadian literary magazine that decided it would put out mini comics by female creators and I think the reason that I was able to talk Gillian into doing it is I was like it's 22 pages No problem How hard could that be? It would be so small but it really gave us a chance to instead of getting overwhelmed by the amount of work that comics are it gave us a chance to try something out without there being a lot of weight on it and then it ended up being really fun I always doodled around through high school and college and I met my now husband in college and we started making these funny comics together just for fun and I would get this regionally published indian magazine called India Currents and they were looking for contributors and content and I was like I'm gonna send them this really if you looked at it now compared to where I'm at it was terribly drawn anatomy was all wrong It was all muscles It was just bad but I guess the jokes made an impact so they wrote me back and they gave me money they gave me 25 bucks for once a month for these funny strips and it was my first ever paid art job so I was just over the moon about it but it was many years later that I even approached comics again and I did it by kind of trying to do something too much so I thumbnailed a 200 page memoir I will never see the light of day but it did land me my agent so can I ask you a question about this memoir yeah I might not answer how far into it did you get it was done like penciled and inked oh yeah it was thumbnails it was thumbnails but they were pretty my thumbnails are pretty like I could just ink over them you know it's not stick figures or anything like that there's a lot of emotion in body language so I think that's part of why my agent was interested in signing me because she saw potential there but then there were too many things I didn't actually because she's also Reina Telgemeier's agent so she kind of put some things in perspective for putting your work out there about yourself and I was like yeah maybe I don't want to do that so I started comics in college where I had a bi-weekly that's twice a week right no okay every other week I had a twice a week whatever that is I knew it was wrong a twice a week comic strip in the school paper where it was all about being in college in the dorms but the whole idea was that nothing happened ever so it was like it moved at a glacial pace and that was on purpose because it felt like I was a teacher and then yeah and that was it I graduated college and I thought that I was going to go and be a literature professor so but I had this advisor who when he gave me like my evaluation for the class that I was in it was all about the doodles that I had done during class on the side of the page instead of taking notes and I thought he was angry at me and he was like I think you should keep on the doodle thing that's awesome I didn't believe him he's like don't do it anyway I ended up going to art grad school for graphic design and sort of make my way to illustration he's dead geez just got dark alright so I'm going to tell the story of how I got into comics how long is this panel sit back you guys 1985 no I started drawing comics in 4th grade I love comics I was a latchkey kid my parents would always work and so I loved watching cartoons like robotech and stuff like that and all my life all I wanted to draw was comics but more like superhero comics and it wasn't until I got into college that someone showed me a copy of Goodbye Chunky Rice you guys ever see that's a Craig Thompson book and I loved that book so much and then I started reading stuff like Optic Nerve someone told me that Optic Nerve used to be a mini comic and I was like what the hell is a mini comic and then they showed me and I was like I don't have to wait I can just make my comic now I can make my crappy comics now so that's what I started doing in college I started making crappy comics and this is a story that a lot of Bay Area cartoonists are going to tell you the same story but I also discovered another group of people that also did crappy comics and it was a group that met at Jason Shiga's house every week and they called it Art Night and this crew is an amazing crew the people that came out of this group is like Jean Yang was part of it Lark Pien Derek Kirk Tim Jesse Ham, Jason Shiga, Tin Fam Andrew was there quite a bit and so we're obviously the best of the Bay Area cartoonists and somehow we found each other which was amazing, also amazing because we are Asian, I don't know why that happened but what happened was and this is my big advice is if you want to get into comics find some bros that are also into comics and do it together because the only reason that I'm even published or that you guys might even know me is because Jean Yang got published right so we're all pals and I actually went to work with Jean Jean Yang is pretty much responsible for my entire life he's the one that introduced me to my wife, now my ex-wife so I'm kind of mad at him about that but he's the one that got me my teaching job and then knowing him when he got published with American Born Chinese actually Derek got published first with first, second and then Derek was like you got to publish my friend Jean and then they published Jean and then of course Jean became successful like you got to publish my friend Tin and then I got a publishing deal obviously the line ended there because I wasn't very successful didn't pull anything up after me but I mean without knowing this crew of people that I drew comics with I would have gone nowhere in comics you know if I was just at home doing it myself there was no way that I would have been any I would be published in any way so my big suggestion is find bros and be nice to people because that person that you might be mean to might be your Jean Yang and you don't know Jean Yang is not a cool guy and I'm a pretty cool guy so normally I would not hang out with Jean Yang but because I was a nice guy this one particular time look at me I'm published that's cool because I was happy to be nice to the nerd I think the first second is kind of unique in that way because it is a place where there is this kind of sense of like a group of people especially in the early days who are sort of connected to each other and know of each other and comics is a unique medium in that way that people publicize comics is to go to this party where everybody sits at a table for hours and hours and hours and hangs out with each other and like reads each other stuff it's not like a literary event where you go you read something and then you have cheese and get to know people so that's why you have to put in the time and be nice like 10 and go and meet people and go to conventions and chat people up in a non-stalkery way and that is one of the ways to get into publishing Jason Shiga is a huge part of the Bay Area comic scene just because of this art night thing I don't like Jason very much but I do give him the credit of being like an influential Did you have snacks at your house? Of course! The Cartoon Art Museum then still is quite a hub for people that do comics a lot of us volunteered at the Cartoon Art Museum and met at the Cartoon Art Museum so the Cartoon Art Museum is a big hub for new comic people that are coming in I was like one Asian too late I could have been in the Asian Posse too I've been there like a couple years but I don't draw There's something to be said for not knowing anybody or anyone and having a hard time making friends and just kind of knocking on doors and seeing who would open which is how I went about it well I mean I dropped out of the Academy of Art and then I started drawing just pushing myself to finish a full illustration every day and somebody asked me if I could if they could buy a print that I didn't know and I was like oh I made it somebody wants to give me money for this drawing that I just did because I'm forcing myself to draw every day and then from that point forward I literally went to we were living in the city at the time and I went to shops and I was like this is my artwork will you carry it in your shop they hate that by the way like most shop owners I know now they're like I hate it when people bring their stuff they ask me on the spot to make a decision but luckily for me there was a shop in my neighborhood that when I did that she was like yes and it was the first shop I ever sold with and for me I didn't know anybody who was doing any art not growing up and then not at that point so there's a certain thing to say also about just trying just trying to get your foot in the door having no connections it's the art, it's the book that's the ultimate thing if you can't either make or finish or make a book that your publisher thinks that they can publish then even if you're in Jason's house eating snacks all day it doesn't matter if you can't make a really cool book it tends to be really modest but if he even if he didn't know Jean Yang and he submitted sumo they would have been we love this book we're gonna publish it yeah your Jean Yang story sucks man that's not even true that's my next graphic novel about how much I love Jean Yang Jean a memoir yeah Jean Yang a memoir Jean and Jean everyone's gonna be like did he die what happened I like that idea yeah Jean's great I hope he gets to watch this when it's online and when Mark Siegel who's the creative director of First Second when he was here to open this exhibition he talked about Jean and how much really couldn't say enough about how much of a game changer American born Chinese was and it's amazing to us because we saw it as a mini comic and a web comic and then it became this this driving force of graphic novels when we were teaching together every day Jean would come to me and be like why are we doing this bro we're losing money I'm gonna stop drawing it was like for a long time it was like a big money losing endeavor I had to get him to agree to keep printing American born Chinese as a mini comic I had to agree to actually do the Xeroxing and putting together of the book myself just because I love this book and I wanted him to keep doing it we all had a lot of self-doubt about why we were putting so much time into this comic and obviously it paid off but there was a time that nobody wanted these books self-doubt is an important elixir in the creative process you have to hate yourself at least one tenth of the day is like you feeling like such a fraud and like sitting in your kitchen like fear eating like whatever thing you're covered and hoping nobody knows the truth about how scary it is to make a book maybe Jean doesn't feel that way but every time someone buys one of my book I go hold another one hold another one alright and I think we'll have time for a few audience questions so if anybody audience or we can keep talking there's still plenty to talk about well I can say that that's not true I think I'm the perfect example of the fact that that's not true because we submitted a book that had something that has since become a large issue for people as to whether or not it is a young adult book we got very minimal notes for a second was incredibly supportive of what we wanted to do I mean our goal was to make a book that felt true to us and there's definitely things in the book that I think that many people have made the case are not appropriate for young adults and our goal was to make a book about young adults not for them per se so we didn't have any of that experience at all and they've been incredibly supportive throughout the whole process of people having different thoughts on the book it was the most banned book it was the most banned book in America in 2017 most challenged book which doesn't sound as sexy as banned it was the most challenged book and that's this one summer this one summer was the most challenged book of 2017 I don't know oh wait 2016 maybe I don't know if it was the most challenged last year it would be cool if it was the year's running I know I think I was like you were talking no you don't get a sticker you don't get a sticker you get infamy do you get all the angry emails no but then someone told me yes you don't get angry you don't get direct emails about that stuff you get indirect comments about that stuff but the other thing I'll say is that I think the editorial process of First Second has always been very much about kind of working with the creators to kind of create the best story that they can create and I think that that is not always true of people who are making content for young adults and children so I think that they're pretty amazing in that respect so sorry I'll just say for each person I think the process is different and depending on who you're working with as your editorial person your editor and so for me I pitched and submitted my book when it was in a script stage and then from there there were editorial notes then I did a section of thumbnails and again editorial notes and so there was a lot of editorial throughout but none of it was I want you to change this I want you to add this most of it was just questions so my editor is Mark Siegel and I'm now working with him on my second book and Pishmina because it was my first book I was learning a lot I threw out the script for G-Box because when I in my experience with Pishmina going from script to thumbnail so much changed that I felt like skipping that step would hopefully skip me forward because comics are long and hard and drawing that much is painful so I want to do anything that can fast forward that process even though I know it's totally not going to fast forward anything and so now where I'm at is I am sending him kind of like 50 to 70 pages at a time but at least that's the goal at least to get to a story point where I feel like there's enough of the story there that we can look at it as a whole and then have comments and conversation and change so that's my process but I'm not baller like Jason and where I'm just going to give them finished artwork and be like well you don't want to change this now because it's finished I like and appreciate that editorial process but it does mean there's a lot more work but it is in service to make the best story so I think that if it was different I might be like these guys just here's my finished work I don't want to change it when I pitched my book I didn't know what age level it would be for I thought maybe young adult and then we decided to skew it a little younger and it turns out that it's not that there's not that very hard and fast boundaries so all I had to do was change a little bit and then younger kids can access it and it wouldn't be too nasty for them I totally disagree with the thing about for a second being more of a young adult publisher I think the reason that it gets that reputation is because the books that are popular and the ones that you see a lot are young adult books because young adults just seem to buy more graphic novels nowadays so then it gets up but I mean if you read Demon that is not a young adult book that's not even a 20s but you have to be like you have to be a 40 comfortable 40 you have to be like a 45 year old man to read that book it is hardcore awesome there was a scene in Demon where I guess one of the characters makes a shank out of dried semen and when I was submitting it to for a second I told the editor you either you either accept the cum shank or I'm taking it or I'm walking it's all or nothing you either take the cum shank the sex fighting and the camel sex or you get nothing so many people have used that as a prostitution negotiation it was just like not again why always this cum shank we've all done it but yeah they accept they actually told me the cum shank was their favorite part of the story I gotta say when I say when I say that they have more editorial notes it's not to push it anyway I think their goal is to make it a better story and their editors they've been through this and they know what reads better and all that stuff and it's probably true it's probably will read better it's a really easy dude and I don't want to do that work and that's why I would rather than buy a book that I finished than a book that I have to work really hard with them even though it's going to be probably a better story they've never pushed when I work with them never pushed to make it more like young adult or more like any way they want they basically look at what you were trying to say and try to get you to say it better so that's what it is I really feel like actually in because I write middle grade as well now too and I feel like there really is if you're with the right publisher it really is so much more about the story and I've actually been very lucky never to have a conversation where someone has said I don't think that this is going to be I actually had what was the word we used I think there's even in the last book I did the word esoteric and then we had this whole conversation of you have to look that up if you're a middle grade reader that's going to be a moment and they were like okay then they'll look it up we're not like Judith Butler or it's like impossible but I think that there is so much more leeway now for creating content for younger readers what even is YA now I write a book and it's not geared towards anyone but just because I don't use bad words or anything like that people are like oh you're kind of a YA you're just a clean guy you're just clean I'm just a nice guy that doesn't like that kind of stuff I'm just sensitive I'm not a YA writer I'm just sensitive any other questions up there I was trying to think if I have a question who's the most sensitive person on this panel the most sensitive 10 maybe 10 it's teaching it's made me more of a now that I've been teaching high school and I have to watch my language and watch inappropriate things around kids I've taken that into my real life now I never swear I say F all the time the history of people who write for kids is a dirty language to people like Denis Lee and what's the name of the person who wrote where the wild things are Marie Sendak there's a long history of sketchy people writing YA if we're writing into that that's what we're writing into I think it's interesting though one of the biggest critiques that I've gotten of Pashmina is it doesn't fall properly into one age level so it's middle grade and YA because she's a teenager and people ask me about it in interviews and at signings and I find it really irritating because we're so focused on what age who are we buying for what group who are we putting this into school libraries for and I think that cross-culturally that's not necessarily the same I think that the US market is definitely preoccupied with age level and I think that you can read younger and you can read older growing up I didn't have a lot of friends so I read a lot of books and I always read up and so I think that there's yes gift guides and school curriculum guides but we also need to not be so stringent about those rules yeah man relax just write what you want exactly I'm shang this is the thing who's reading Harry Potter right now 40 year olds you're like an innocent guy because you're reading Rainbow Rowell and $4 take on meals we want to leave some time for book signing and checking out the exhibition so starting with Tim let's just talk about what you have coming up next comics or otherwise I do a semi regular comic strip in the East Bay Express called I Like Eating and it's I have somehow fooled them into paying for my food and then I review food through comics form even though I know nothing about food or whatever all the strips are basically like oh I think this is good and cheesy and then I'm working on another graphic novel but you know who knows when that will be finished and it's gonna be about and my relationship to it and so so hopefully that will be done before I die I just got really hungry I have to finish this graphic novel that's the first thing so if Kalista you're listening I'm gonna do that I have a collection of comic strips that I did for the Chronicle and a lot more that I did for the book where I review I sum up a classic novel in three panels really well I'm doing a hundred of those so it's taking a while because I read all the books and I have a new picture but coming out March that I illustrated so what's it called it's called the Too Much Sisters and it's coming out end of March what's the last one it's called Goldfish Ghost and it's about a dead goldfish that one's so awesome thank you I read a lot of picture books too because that's what I teach I am working on three books right now my picture book should be out next year 2019 spring I think it's called I Will Be Fierce written by somebody else I'm illustrating it by who Bea Birdsong is her pen name I only know her pen I know she has a real name it's somewhere in my brain but I can't bring it up right now and then I'm also this isn't officially announced yet but we kind of talked about it on social media but I'm working on a bilingual board book which is in Hindi and English so I'm really excited about that one because we're raising our daughter bilingual and there is like pretty much not anything out there that's like that so it's called Shibaratri which means good night and then jukebox is my next graphic novel with first second and that'll be out in 2020 so the board book will be out this year the picture book will be out next year and then jukebox 2020 so a book every year I am finishing up my She-Hulk series for Marvel so the second to last one is out tomorrow which is 163 I just announced I'm doing a graphic novel for the new DC ink which is their YA imprint with DC zoom so I'm doing a book with Steve pug who's amazing called Harley Quinn Breaking Glass which is like taking so stressful I'm writing it right now and I what else am I doing I have a novel that I'm working on about losing your virginity because I like to keep it classy obviously and then Rosemary and I have Laura Dean breaking up with me which is coming out I think spring of next year oh yes that's it thank you and I'm writing the middle grade series for the Lumberjanes for Abrams books and the second book is called the moon is up and it comes out I think this fall and then when you're done with all that you'll write something for me I know I will and the Lumberjanes is illustrated by Brooklyn Allen I'm working on a larger project right now about a young woman returning to her hometown after an attempt at a writing career and it alternates between her story and the science fiction story that she's writing and I guess it has an unusual format in that it will be interactive kind of like a choose your own adventure book it's insane looking and it's it'll be as expected from Jason no it's gonna be really cool awesome amazing there's only three spines in this book Tim's exaggerating but three spines each page will be a unique shape and the readers will basically be able to follow the story from one set of pages into the other set of pages and it's kind of complicated but the idea is when you're reading one book the pages in the other book sort of serve as the memory of the story keeping track of inventory and where you've been, the time so it's almost like a little video game but that's what I'm working on right now so cool I'm writing a Voltron history book but you read it front to back and it's all in order from the 80s all the way to present day but I should also mention the Cartoon Art Museum has some big programs coming up this week so Friday night Nate Powell the illustrator of the March graphic novel trilogy will be at the museum on Sunday we're hosting Nitty for the closing reception of her her exhibition she's the first emerging artist showcase artist featured at the Cartoon Art Museum space so I've emerged now finally that evening we're hosting Nick Park who is the creator of Wallace and Gromit so I hope you can all come and check that out and we want to thank the library very much for hosting this event and the exhibition


Hey guys, it's MJ the student-actry and in this video I'm gonna be talking about a mortgage-backed security that was created back in 2007 before the crash Interesting thing to note is that this is for some really big money Let me look how big these chunks are and we see that they're rated a a a by Moody and all of these guys, you know, this is what caused the financial recession. These things had triple a Graded like rating and yet they all blew up. I mean if we even just look here We go to Moody's website. I was looking at it over here. This is 23rd of September. So this is recently They've downgraded this blue granite investment number four to I think it's like a classy You know, they've really downgraded it to Yeah, these like B status It's they've basically realized that the key assumptions they made was all wrong and that these guys basically stuffed up So all the where we here we go back to the little actual document So I went through this document. It was interesting because this was something that got triple a status It is one of those things that caused the world recession mortgage-backed securities I went through the document. These are the various tranches that you have Issued by standard bank who's the ranger and dealer and look you you have to have like a little legal tea because this was a Monster of their document. So they create what they do is that so it's issued by standard bank But they create a separate company called blue granite. So if this the whole thing tanks Standard bank is protected. They create special purpose vehicles to be bankrupt remote Now as you can see, there's quite a it's quite a heavy document I mean This is this is them trying to explain it in a little diagram You can see very complicated how everything goes around Essentially what they're doing is they taking home loans. They chopping up the home loans They're and they're splitting it through some financial engineering to make new securities If you want like a better or more detailed explanation that I did write that little textbook That goes through it quite, you know thoroughly and explains everything This is just interesting to see look at all the different program Sorry, all the different parties that are needed in this deal. I mean quite a lot of parties This is what I love look at all the various documents. They need Program memorandums are trusted trusted of this memory of articles You can see it goes on there's like 34 Documents for this thing.   This was important They talk about the home loan pool Funnily enough with historical data. They tell us that 78% of these people are not self-employed And I'm thinking to myself. I don't actually care about that stat I care about how many of these people are unemployed How many are unemployed? Why are you telling me 70% are not self-employed? And how can you be self-employed? Employed means you work for someone. So that's like a bit of a an oxymoron there Why don't you say these people are sole traders or have their own businesses self-employed does sound quite weird anyway They speak about eligibility criteria. You know, that's all important blah blah blah blah They give all of this Boring boring documents here. It's about the cash management. You know, that was also quite boring This was interesting like the size of the loans you can check how big I mean, this is not for your average everyday investor This is for institutional investors who've got access to pension funds to purchase these these things That was also boring boring Revolving period guaranteed home loans. Oh, well, I thought was quite great I didn't know where we thought but Standard Bank They say they set up their own their own people valued the houses and they get a set the interest rates So they're controlling quite a lot of Components in the steel they can say oh, no this house is actually worth 10 million And I mean one of the things with property is that it is a subjective Well, there is you know room for subjectivity when it comes to the valuation. So for them to do the Valuing of the housing I thought was quite dodgy also the fact that they set the interest rates and they can't it's variable So every month they can fluctuate these interest rates on these poor homeowners. So I don't think that was too cool Just trying to think we are read that you can see it was a big long Document originally I made a video where I actually went through the whole thing But there was 39 minutes long I don't think anybody's gonna want to watch that because you know YouTube it's all about 10 second cat videos I wanted to show you Hold on. Let's get to the actual details. I thought we're quite funny This is where they're talking about Iceland and Ireland and euros and like this is a South African instrument Anyway, this is all boring stuff to do do do do want to show you Right at the end some of the interesting stuff Okay, there we go Yeah, so this was how the the asset pool stratification, you know how the assets have been split up Was interesting that the largest chunk was for loans between five hundred thousand seven hundred fifty. I mean Yeah, the the houses that you can buy with that in South Africa. It's quite interesting That target market that they've gone for I thought this was a big big red flag that majority of these loans are For ninety five to a hundred percent Value of the loan just as well. They didn't get anybody over a hundred percent. I mean that would have been really dumb but again the loan to value Standard Bank are issuing the loan and they're saying what the value of the house is, you know, they can say, okay Here's a million by the house. Okay next week. Oh now the house actually with two million now, you know Then they came so ready these numbers I can't trust them too much but already at ninety five percent That's how much of the loan you're giving at thirty four They don't do that anymore after the remit. This is a contract before the recession This is before everything went haywire They will not give such a high loan to value anymore because this caused big problems Also interesting to see is that these loans do make up a big chunk of the people's incomes So that was also quite concerning as well the interest rates I mean, they were some of them are quite high but borrower's income I Mean, you know, this is interesting. They I mean, it's the majority of these loans are going to To poor people and I think you know, they're getting hit with heavy interest rates It's making up a big chunk of their their repayments So they're very much dependent on these loans And the fact that standard bank can just change the interest rate in any time that they want can really mess with the Budgeting of these people. But this is what I left. I loved chat borrowers age. Okay, they've got everybody's different age Groups and everything and then look 200 people They don't know what their ages to hunt they gave they gave loans with a hundred almost a hundred what yo 150 million dollar Oh, sorry rants 150 million ran to people whose age they don't even know Which means these people didn't even show an ID document because on your ID document you can use the first six digits to work out somebody's age so What on earth? Were they doing like unspecified? How can you not know your borrower's age? How can you give them a whole credit score and do all these eligibility criteria and this whole Underwriting process that they speak about in their document and then for 200 people they don't even know how old the person is That I thought was crazy. Okay, but it gets even worse The geographical distribution most of it is in captain Then another little big chunk is in the Western Cape best best province in the world love the Western Cape But yeah, I love this so now what are people using the loans for so most of them are using it as their main residence 105 of them they don't know they don't know what the people are gonna use the money for unspecified what what does that mean so What's this telling us this is telling us that only what we've learned from this document is only 78% of these people are Not self-employed whatever that means so it means what the other 20? I don't know. That's just that's a dodgy stat Two of a hundred of them. They don't even know who they are and then of those maybe half of them They don't even know what they're gonna use the money for How is this possible? Oh my gosh, this is insane. How there's how can they even have an unspecified column where people don't even know What the mountains for they should have just said other why can't they just say other? But John that is absolutely crazy They're giving 200 loans to people who they don't even know how they are they could be Teenagers for all they know and they could be spending it on playstations. I mean this is this is a big red flag And this got a triple a rating this got a triple a rating anyway I wanted to show you the one one final part with the auditors report Yeah, so this is the auditors report, okay Like this our review revealed nothing which caused us to believe that the issuer will not be in compliance with the relevant provisions Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Okay, so you read the findings and you're like, oh, okay So everything seems to be in order But you read their scope our review was generally limited Limited to an examination of just the program memorandum and the transaction supplement Okay, it should be recognized listen to this it should be recognized that our review did not Considuit an audit and may not necessarily have revealed all material facts Yes, because if you had done an audit you would have asked Who are these 200 people who we don't know and who are these hundred loans where we don't even know where the money's going? I mean come on seriously what? this is But this is hidden in how many pages of documents a 69 page document with the most boring English ever So unless you actually have got time to read through and question everything I mean come on come on. This is is this like a joke, but anyway, that is That's this whole blue granite thing This was a mortgage-backed security instrument before the crash And I mean just reading that document you have to ask yourself questions How did this get triple a rating to begin with and why is moody only downgrading it now? I mean finance sometimes you study the subject and it raises up way more questions than answers Anyway, let me know what you guys thought of this video and thanks so much for watching. Cheers


Gaming, gaming, gaming. There's so many devices you can play games on, you can do it on any of your smartphones and the Galaxy Z Fold 3 is no different. Hi guys, Thunder E here and thank you for joining us on the channel. If it's your first time, hit the subscribe button and the notification icon because right now we're talking about gaming on the Z Fold 3. So the Z Fold 3 brings in a lot of really cool, unique features that make gaming completely different. First off, you've got two displays on this device. You've got an outer display, it's a bit narrow, about, you know, 6.7 inches, but it gives you enough real estate to game. But when you open up to that 7.6 inch full display, that is a ton of real estate to actually game on. And we like that and we know this device can perform. It's got all the hardware we expect, you know, the Triple 8, you've got 12 gigs of RAM, all that fun jazz, it's all there. The main thing people have asked and question is, how well is that under this, under the display camera shaded away while gaming? Well, take a look. It looks absolutely amazing. And especially when you get into games with different colors, maps, areas, it looks really good and it allows you to feel like you're using the tablet for the first time that doesn't have a camera on screen and has almost like edge to edge coverage. I absolutely like that. When it comes to gaming itself, of course we took a look at some of the games we like and also some of the services we like to use. Now this video is gonna be a little bit different for some of the things we've done traditionally because I wanna show you some of the gaming performance using my very favorite gaming software, which is Geekbench. Now, with Geekbench Pro, you can see the way the games actually perform and the very first game we took a look at, of course, is Call of Duty Mobile. Now, this is not a graphically intensive game. We know that, but the performance that you can see, it stays steady at 60 frames and you can also see the low usage of the CPU as well, which is nice, but it also, when you move back to the gameplay itself and you look at it on screen, it's really fluid that 120 Hertz display on a folder of the display is nice. And I like the fact that I, I mean, as soon as I started gaming, I didn't feel like I was touching something that was, you know, it's gonna break or it was a little precious. This screen is really solid and that gameplay experience really showcased quite well with Call of Duty Mobile. Now, let's move over to PUBG Mobile, something a little bit more intensive, right? And again, performance here while playing Ultra HD or Ultra, we got a steady 40 frames per second, something we know with the Snapdragon 888 and you can see on the charts there, the CPU load is actually pretty low here on this and performance is steady at 40 frames per second, which is really, really nice. Now, before we get to Genshin Impact, which all of you are thinking about, I want to also talk about something that's really unique with the Galaxy Z4 III. So you've got a larger display and you've also got a small display in front. You can switch gaming between both displays. Now you can start with this, you know, your large 7.16 display and close your device and switch to the smaller display or you can start from here vice versa. Now, I can tell you this, if you're starting from the smaller display and switching to the rear display, it is much a fluid experience and it works really well. Now, going from the internal display into the front cover display, some games don't work too well like PUBG, which tended to just change resolutions and kind of oversize sometimes and sometimes it works. So that's something to mention. There's of course ways to force applications to do that, but again, this is something's developers have to take note. Now, Genshin Impact. Now, of course, Genshin had to be played at its highest gaming settings, 60 FPS. And we got to see Genshin perform really well. Now, for at least the first eight minutes or so, I was using Geekbenchmark, it came up to about 55 frames per second and then for some reason it crashed. I really don't have no idea, but I continued directly on my device and I was able to use GPU watch, which is within developer mode on the Z Fold 3. And you can see it stayed between 51 to about 55 frames per second, which was really nice in terms of performance and the game looks really good. Now, I will say this though. Call of Duty Mobile, PUBG Mobile, a lot of games do not scale properly on the Z Fold 3 because their resolutions are much lower. Genshin really takes full advantage of this display and it looks gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous. Now, the next thing you're gonna ask me is what about temperatures, right? Is this thing super hot? Does it feel like I'm carrying like hot bricks in my hand? The answer is no. I mean, the highest temps I got while playing Genshin Impact for that period of time I mentioned between about, say, about 15 to about 20 minutes. It's 105 degrees, so range between 100 and 305. And most of that was centered around the camera area, this other side of the device, which I believe that's where the processor is housed. So that is something to take note, but I love the temperatures were much lower than say the Galaxy S21 Ultra. So this handles those kind of game opportunities really, really well. Now, moving on to some of the streaming services. Again, this doesn't take performance into account, but it takes usability into account. So I of course jumped to an Xbox Game Pass. I was able to play Ascent, which is a new game on the system. It's a really nice top-down shooter. I just started playing it and it looked amazing. It looked really good. And I also got to use my new speaking case, the Arugat Armor case to basically kind of just tilt it and use it as a kickstand. I know they're coming out with a kickstand case sometimes soon. I'm not sure when, but it's probably worth picking up. But it allowed me to enjoy jumping and play the game. Now, again, mobile gaming is something that we're seeing more with consoles like Game Pass through Xbox, as well as also Stadia, using on a device like this just looks and feels much better. I absolutely love it.  It's got two bottom-firing speakers, so just take a listen. Okay, so everything about the Z Fold 3 in terms of gaming has been a great experience. One of the best things I do love is the fact that I can hold it in my hand, I can stop gaming, and I have a full landscape to game on. That is a very, very unique thing that I really enjoyed on this device. Performance has been great. And overall, the little glitches of moving from the internal display to the cover display, I'm sure stuff that can be fixed, but I have no issues gaming on this device. And I know, yes, there are many devices out there that you can game on at different price points, but I'm happy to see that, yes, even though this is a premium expensive smartphone or a foldable, it at least does those tasks that I care about quite well. Now, if you guys want to see me do some more gaming on this device and more gameplay functionality, let me know, I can do that on board gaming and some more games, so leave those games down below. And if you want to see gaming on the Z Flip 3, leave your thoughts down below as well. So, otherwise guys, thank you very much and always enjoy your entertainment.


A sabbatical? At least one month, Dr. Glass said, nervously fingering the panic button under his clipboard. The figure sitting in the chair across from him slowly blinked its uncannily colorful eyes. Dammit, he could never figure out what color they were supposed to be. And carefully read the pink slip of paper in his hand. Your psychological evaluation indicates that it's been years since you last took a break. You need to let off some steam. I did have a break. I took a very nice trip to Italy, Clef said, lovely. I went to a bar, was fun, met new friends, Strelnikov insisted. A covert mission with six MTF operatives to eliminate a target is not a vacation and nor are the five weeks in the hospital spent recovering from that nasty gut wound either. Dr.  I don't care where you go or what you do, just spend at least one week where you're not worrying about the fate of the world. That would be difficult, Clef said, folding the piece of paper into precise thirds. Might as well ask me to stop breathing.   War is not nine-to-five job. Then at least make saving the world a second priority? Think of it as periodic maintenance. You take your car in for a tune-up every 10,000 miles. This is your time to get a tune-up, Dr. Glass sighed. Can't I get a tune-up in the shop? Perhaps I could spend some time at the training facility instead, or in the field, Clef muttered. Can spend time drinking vodka? That is proper Russian vacation. No, no field operations, no training, no paperwork, nothing. Just get some rest. You've clearly earned it. Enjoy your vacations, gentlemen. The door closed with a kind of epic finality, leading two of the most dangerous men in the foundation, standing in the hallway, clutching pink slips like a pair of delinquent teenagers sent to the principal's office. The entire support staff of the Human Resources and Training Division sat in the cubicles, studiously staring at the monitors. One of them, a young lady wearing a very nice pantsuit, was desperately typing the Lord's prayer over and over in the notepad. Another was whispering a Buddhist sutra under his breath. The tension was finally broken by a sigh from Clef, who rubbed the back of his neck with the pink slip of paper. So, he said, I hear Brazil is nice this time of year.  Strelnikov and Clef strolled in quietly and took the only two empty seats at the long bar, nodding curtly to the bartender and those next to them, before settling in for the two hour wait. Their attire was ostentatious and drew odd looks from the other patrons. Strelnikov in his olive drab dress uniform with peaked cap and Clef in a Hawaiian shirt, with obscene portrayals of people engaging in coitus printed in flamboyant colors. Their chosen drinks said much about their character. The bartender, hair in a mass from a long day, pointed at Clef and made eye contact, silently inquiring. Bombay sapphire martini, stirred not shaken, two ice cubes only, six to one gin and vermouth, two olives, one onion, and if you bruised the vermouth, God help you. Clef responded dryly, as if the bartender should have already known. The bartender's expression went blank for a moment, before he nodded slowly and turned to Strelnikov. And you, sir? Vodka. With what? Strelnikov gave him the dirtiest of looks, ice. Any preferred brand? Dmitry's stare hardened and he clenched his fists on the bar. Vodka with ice. The alcohol was forthcoming and it both lightened their mood and loosened their tongues accordingly as they imbibed. As the first rounds went through them, they developed a lively and appropriate discussion. You see, Dmitry, a good drink is smooth.   Drink. Drink is not status or class symbol, Dr. Clef. Drink is a drink. You drink it and you get drunk. And then you are drink more until you have drank so much that it is make you sober again. I don't believe you've understood. Their spirited debate continued, beginning to draw the attention of the other customers. Slowly their heads and chairs swiveled to lock on the two oddly dressed gentlemen as they argued and jabbed at one another's tastes. As their collection of empty vodka and martini glasses grew and grew, the argument mellowed and became a happy, family-oriented storytelling extravaganza. I wanted to see his face when I killed him, Dmitry. That's why I had the snipers hold their fire. See, I came in behind him like this, accompanied with gesticulation of the hands and swiped him across the face with my pistol. Then he stabbed me and somethings happened and blah blah blah I ended up in hospital for a few weeks, good times. Strelnikov noted approvingly, in Chechnya our supplies always run low. So I was forced to hold my fire many time and resort to use of bayonet. He waggled a finger and pointed at Clef. Many Chechens get it in the face and neck, Dr. Clef. Many. Much blood. Never drive over 30 people in a tank. Does our murdered personnel carry your count? What about unarmed combat? You snap necks? The spine is usually easier for me, Dmitry. A lot of people prefer the traditional twisting-head-neck snapping action, but I usually stick with grabbing them by the hair and shoving a boot into the small of their back as hard as I can. It's a personal preference, really. Strelnikov couldn't argue with that. Once on night mission we find Rebel Camp in Bombed Warehouse. I send two team, yes? He holds up two fingers. Two team. Into each entrance. And I climb through window alone, with just knife and pistol. They were sleep, guard sleep, everyone was sleep.  He coughs. After that night I find out there had been a mutual ceasefire called. He concludes with a shrug. Oh man, I know. Once I was trying an experimental chainsaw that we thought was a possible item for containment. There ended up being a D-class riot and, well, I was on hand with the chainsaw and one thing led to another.  Then someone comes in and tells me it was just the annual costume party and half of my research staff is now dead. A shrug. Turns out the saw was just a normal saw too. Strelnikov nodded sadly, feeling Clef's disappointment, pausing for a moment and then saying quietly. I was just kid about ceasefire, Dr. Clef. Oh, I wasn't. It really was a costume party. Dmitry sighed and turned back to the bar and asked for another drink, except nobody answered. He craned his head over the bar and found the bartender, pale as a ghost, trembling on the floor with a phone in his hand, poised to dial. Strelnikov shrugged and plucked the bottle himself, pouring a glass and turning back to face Clef. He took a quick look behind him. The bar was completely empty. Considering who we work for, he'd think they could afford to give us better seats than coach, Clef griped. Seriously? Charging us five bucks for a dry ham sandwich and half a can of soda. This is highway robbery. He's better than Aeroflot in the 1980s, Dmitry pointed out. Food recognizable. Cabin actually pressurized. Stored as his smile at you instead of scream. He raised an eyebrow at the attractive young lady coming down the aisle with the beverage tart. And are much prettier.  I don't know. A boiled beet and some horselather meat might actually be a step up from this… thing.  Clef muttered, poking the sandwich with his fingers. Lizard bits? Maybe is sperm from a 6-8-2. Big lizard wet his beak in your sandwich, no?  I wish it would improve the taste. Excuse me, miss? Miss? Clef said, reaching across Dmitry from his window seat to tap the stewedess on the elbow. I'm sorry miss, but you seem to have messed up my order. I ordered a ham and cheese sandwich, not a pus and plastic one. From the taste of this, it seems that you've confused the two. I see, sir, the stewedess sighed. I'm sorry you don't like the taste of your sandwich. If you'd like a refund. I don't want a goddamn refund. I want an edible sandwich, Clef interrupted. Now, I'm sure that somewhere in that cart, under the piles of dried-out human ejaculate and starving sponge, you've got something edible. So how about bending that pretty s*** over and looking a little harder, sweet-chicks? Ah, the stewedess said. She turned to Dr. Clef and grinned, a wide, mirthless smile, showing too many teeth. So I see, what you're really trying to say is that you're the a**hole here. She leaned across Dmitry, her voice low and stern, but carrying through the suddenly silent cavern as she dressed the venue's Clef. Listen up, bucko, I don't make the damn food, I just serve it.  But wait until we get on the ground. Until then, it's another six hours to South Pallow and I'll be damned if I have to spend it listening to you a**hole the whole way.  She stood up straight. In my name's not sweet-cheeks a**hole, it's Lucy. There was a moment of stunned silence, broken by a smattering of applause, then the stewedess continued down the aisle, serving sodas and coffees to the other appreciative passengers. Clef leaned back and smiled. I like her. He admitted. Girls got spirit. That's nice, Dimitri sighed. He unbuckled his seatbelt and stood up slowly. Where are you going? Clef asked. The inflight movie's about to start. To take a **** and pretend I don't know you, Dimitri said.  He was just drifting to sleep when a loud scuffling sound and scream drew his attention. Do not move! Screamed the bearded man, who held a knife to the throat of Lucy in the flight attendant. There were two other men holding similar weapons.  All three were wearing kathias and camouflage t-shirts. This play now belongs to the Holy Army of the Chechen Independent Republic. Allahu Akbar! Screamed one of the other men. God is great! Long live Chechnya! Oh, you have got to be ****ing kidding me. Clef winced. The jostling of the aircraft in the turbulent skies made it difficult for Strelnikov to piss. It always struck him as odd.  The complexities and nuances of the human psyche escaped him at the time, and he chided himself for being a pansy. He finally got control of himself and was about to go when the door was rudely kicked open and someone grabbed him by the shoulder, dragging him into the aisle. He quickly buttoned himself and stumbled along, too surprised to offer effective resistance. The Chechen took a good look at his uniform and noticed the Russian crest on his hat with a quick decision. He began dragging him to the front of the aircraft. Caught with your pants down, Dmitry, Clef muttered. As they dragged Strelnikov between the rows of seats, the irony of his witticism wasted. Thinking quickly, he threw his foot out into the aisle just in time to catch the Chechen's ankle, sending him face first into the carpet and taking Dmitry down with him. The two others immediately rushed forward to try and subdue Clef, one still holding the hand grenade over his head and shouting angrily in a Chechen-Russian dialect. Strelnikov immediately recognized it. They were Chechens. They were on the plane. His plane. There were Chechens on his plane. Three of them. That is three, too many, he said out loud.  Clef wasted no time and nearly leapt over the heads of the terrified passengers in front of him, lunging for the approaching man. He connected with the one carrying the knife, knocking him to the floor also. Clef hauled back and slammed the palm of his hand into the man's face, quickly shattering the bridge of the man's nose. The man winced and staggered back, clutching his heavily bleeding nose, as Clef casually disarmed him with a complicated aikido wrist lock. He then drew the knife into the man's heart, as Strelnikov finished rendering his man into a bloody, dying mess. There was only one left, still holding the hand grenade and seemingly unsure of what to do, none of the planet completely deteriorated. Don't move! He screamed, I have a bomb! Simultaneously, Clef and Dimitri rotated their heads upward, rising from the bloodied corpses like something out of a cheap horror flick. Except, instead of a dramatic musical score, there was only the wailing of the outbore Turro fans, as the pilot increased throttle. I don't care, Clef said. Dimitri just smiled, steel teeth gleamed. The terrorist's eyes darted nervously between the two men, and he took a frightened step backwards. It would be his last. Lucy's foot caught the man in the back of the knee and sent him stumbling forward, right into Strelnikov's knife. Clef deftly stashed the grenade from the man's hand, paying careful attention to make sure he kept pressure on the spoon. Dimitri's blood-steel teeth glistened underneath the cabin lighting, offering the man the most disquieting last sight of this earth. He withdrew the knife as violently as he had inserted it, a spray of blood splashing across the passengers nearest him, letting the body collapse supine on the floor. The occupants of the cabin stared in shock and awe at the brief, bloody conflict, offering no applause as Clef took a seat, grenade in hand. Strelnikov walked past, heading aft. I have to make this. We have a problem, Clef said, when Dimitri came out of the restroom, buttoning up his pants. Compared to the Russian, who was a bloody, gory mess, the stuck-up prick had somehow managed to avoid getting any blood on him at all, despite the violence in the past few minutes. No problem. Chechen's dead now, Strelnikov pointed out. That's the problem.  Do you see where I'm going with this? Clef pointed out. Strelnikov considered the implications of the director's words. Inconvenient. He murmured. Dr. Glass will lecture us much more about the definition of relaxation and low profile. To say the least. Wait here, then follow my lead when you have a moment. The gangly, big-nosed doctor took a deep breath, then squared his shoulders and walked back down the aisle to where the rather shaken young stewardess was sitting in the front of the plane, nursing a cup of coffee. Strelnikov couldn't hear what he said over the sound of the plane engines, but he could see the way that their body language changed. Clef said something while standing back near the front row. Lucy said something back, still holding the coffee cup in both hands. Clef said something else, leaning forward just a bit. He smiled. Lucy smiled back.  Clef nodded and laughed. He leaned against the wall next to her, looking down at her and gesturing. Lucy began to play with her hair. Clef stroked his chin. Lucy began to stroke her face behind the ear. Clef winked. Lucy stroked her throat and collarbone. Clef came walking back down the aisle. He walked past the bathroom and into the galley. Lucy bit her lower lip, then followed Clef into the galley. There was the sound of the latch being undone and a door opening. Dmitri counted to 20, then poked his head into the galley as well. The ladder leading down to the baggage compartment was open. He slid down and into the darkened baggage compartment. The first thing he saw was Clef easing Lucy's unconscious body onto a cargo compartment. There was lipstick on his collar and the doctor's previously buttoned up Hawaiian shirt was opened up a bit. He tossed a ring of keys to Strelnikov. See if you can get our bags, he said. They're probably in one of those locked cargo containers. Doctor Strelnikov said patiently, Please just tell me this. What is the point of finding bags now? I don't want to leave them behind when we jump. I know jump without shoot. I've done this once, was not fun. Break many bone. Strelnikov opened the lockers and rifled around. Grabbing the baggage and motioning for Clef to follow. I have better idea. They navigated the depths of the aircraft, working the way through axes, ways and maintenance corridors that usually only the lowest of wing wipers ever have to crawl through. The aluminum skin of the aircraft vibrated from the air moving around it and the noise was deafening. Finally, they stopped in the very bottom of the aircraft. We wait now. The pilot had changed course, ostensibly heading where the Chechens had instructed him to, but in reality, veering towards an abandoned military airstrip. The concrete along the runways was cracked in places, with weeds breaking through and angling skyward. The terminals had long since been bulldozed. All that remain now were a few rusting corrugated hangers and an elaborated, disused control tower. He studied his hands on the yoke, knuckles white, and eyes alert, still shaken from the events earlier. Though he hadn't seen the massacre first hand, Lucy had told him about it in grim detail. Where was she anyway? He needed a drink, badly. The inboard flaps dropped a few degrees, then a few more, increasing the plane's lift and drag, flaring the nose slightly and slowing it down. The wind of the engines decreased in intensity, causing the aircraft to slowly descend towards the runway below. Clef and Dmitry felt the shudder of the fuselage as they lost altitude, and heard the tail-tail hydraulic hisses, that indicated that the undercarriage was about to drop. Hold on! We waited till slow! Strelnikov shouted, but it was lost in the noise. Clef gave him a confused expression, but knew enough about gravity to warrant already clutching the legs of the gear. The aircraft slowed, dropping to within a few hundred feet of the ground and flaring more. Nearly within ground effect, the hatch covers dropped open, and the landing gear unfolded, exposing them to a harsh burst of wind that threatened to tear them away, the ground below flashing by in a terrifying blur. The concrete rose to them with alarming speed, as the pilot brought the big passenger liner down. The wheels made contact and squeached in annoyance, reluctant to carry the tremendous weight. The pilot applied brakes, and the aircraft decelerated, rolling to a stop at the end of the runway. They leapt from the undercarriage and sprinted across the tarmac, to a nearby line of trees, looking back in time to see the ridiculous rubber slides inflate for the other passengers to make a considerably more undignified exit. They knelt in a small thicket of trees, watching to make sure nobody followed them. Aboard the aircraft, Lucy picked her head up and groaned. That's son of a b**ch, and to think she almost liked him, despite who he worked for. She sighed and rubbed her temples, pulling a cell phone from a pocket of a uniform and dialing a secure line. The phone chirped and queried her for access codes, which she dutifully punched in, surprised that they were correct considering her foggy state of mind. Lieutenant Park's reporting, I have two probable foundation assets, tracked for my location, and prepared to deploy a shadowing team immediately. I have to admit, Clef said, your idea was much better. The two men lurked in the tree line for a few minutes, watching the special forces soldiers board the plane, and get the passengers out through the inflatable slides. A man in a black suit and tie was going from passenger to passenger asking questions. He seemed annoyed at not getting the answers he wanted. Up top, a young man in cow flash gear leaned out the left side doorway, and vomited onto the tarmac. Finally, several men wearing medical garb started easing three stretcher bound bodies down the aisle. You want to stay and watch more? Nah, I've seen enough. Let's get going. They moved silently through the underbrush, crossing the electrified fence with the aid of some wire cutters and a sleeping bag, and then made their way out into the desert. There was a cracked asphalt two-lane highway under the baking sun, stretching out into the distance. Well, said Clef, grinning. It's not Brazil, but it's certainly far enough away from work for Glass. Let's go hitching. First, we must find out where we are. It's not good if we end up in Death Valley. Then is no other people for miles. No problem, I'll just check my GPS, Clef said. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, turned it back on, and brought up the mapping software. F**k, he growled. This is bad. Where are we? Bolivia? Death Valley? Worse, Clef said grimly. Texas. As if on cue, the silence was broken by the sound of a battered pickup truck coming around the bend. Two men in white cowboy boots pulled up to the agents, their rusty old Ford emblazoned with a Confederate flag across the back windshield, a pair of shotguns on the roof, and a dead deer across the hood. The strangers rolled down the windows as their car ground to a halt by the side of the road. The man in the passenger seat had grizzled looking one-eyed cowboy with unruly black hair, spat tobacco juice on Strelnikov's shoes, and sneered. Man, tell me what you pair of Mexican Jew-lizard f*****s are doing in our neck of the woods? He growled. Clef and Dmitry shared a bemused glance. You have got to be f**king with me, Dmitry muttered. The blood boiled behind Strelnikov's eyes. He looked over their attire and felt the wave of nausea nearly overtake him. How could anyone dress like this? He felt a sudden need to adjust his cap in a vain attempt to counteract their atrocious appearance. Clef just laughed.   The one-eyed cowboy leaned out the window as the driver turned down the radio, which had previously been blaring Toby Keith at an obnoxious volume. Oh, let me guess, you're one of them comies, aren't ya? He spat again. I thought you a***** was a namm. The driver nodded. He thought you a***** was a namm. Clef's smile grew to obscene proportions.  You know nothing of war. I fight in Chechnya both time, and I meet babies on the battlefield that would have more honor than you, coward. My grandfather took Berlin while your ancestors sit on their s**t as drinking schnapps and hoping that they will not have to fight like we did. Your entire country is babies. All of you, babies. His finger trembled with rage while Clef suppressed a guffaw. The redneck stared at him in confusion. What? Strelnikov punched him in the mouth. The redneck tumbled over, knocking his compatriot out of his seat and onto the pavement. Clef was on him in a flash, hauling him up and securing his arms behind his back with an unhealthy cracking of joints.    What are you, salty because you lost a f*****g war? It was too much. Such an insult to his Russian patriotism could not be allowed to stand.  The cowboy flailed wildly, trying to strike him or push him away, but Strelnikov had a considerable side advantage. He briefly considered hanging the man, but lacking the rope to do so, decided to secure him to the tree with one eye built, Clef doing the same with the other. Two oversized, lone-star belt buckles shone in the hot southern sun, as Clef and Strelnikov stalked away to their truck, leaving them to bake for a while. Who on the war now, jack a**? Clef quipped as he climbed into the driver's seat. They drove for hours down the Texas highway, finding nothing but dust and clumps of rocks. Dmitry watched idly from the passenger's seat, finding the vastness of the state reminding him somewhat of home, if much drier. Far behind, the two cowboys were delighted to see a black SUV pull off the road with uniformed men disembarking and approaching them quickly. It's about time you got here, one eye said heartily. Did they take the truck? Both of them nodded. Excellent. We've got them now.  He slammed the hood down on the smoke-emitting engine and kicked infinitely at the front bumper of the vehicle.  Ford really does stand for f**ks or a place dilly. You should be driving good Russian car, like Lada. That is good, solid vehicle. Not break down like s**t the American car Strelnikov offered.  Ever? Clef retorted.  God damn. You ever get tired of being enormous f**king prick?  Strelnikov snarled. F**k you, Demetri. F**k you. And f**k Russia.  Clef screamed, nearly going into histrionics.   Sex involving lots of cocoa butter and maybe some other whips. And instead, I'm out here in the middle of f**king nowhere Texas. Population, you and me.  And how is this any of my fault? Strelnikov shouted back, slamming his fist onto the hood of the broken down Ford. I have no f**king idea. Clef screamed. That was when the two men heard a car horn honk behind them. They turned to see a cherry red Camaro convertible with a top down, idling by the side of the road. The car gleamed like a jewel. So did the three babes riding it. The driver was a brunette. Her long curly locks flowing over her bare shoulders. Her hide skin glowing with sweat from the warm Texas sun. Her red lips were pursed playfully as she lowered her sunglasses and gave the two strangers a slightly amused look. Her friend in the passenger side seat, a tanned blonde with flawless skin and gorgeous green eyes, leaned over and waved while the red head in the back seat popped her gum and winked. Hey boys, the brunette said. Seems like you're having a little car trouble. Need a lift? Yes, yes we do, Strelnikov said. Well, it's a tight fit but squeeze in. We're gonna give you a ride to town, the brunette said. She got up and opened the door of the Camaro. Clef and Strelnikov could see that all three of the women were wearing daisy dukes, sandals and not much else. All of them had bodies that would make suit models green with envy, the voluptuous figures threatening to free themselves from their straining tops at any moment. Clef and Strelnikov gave each other a bemused look, their argument from moments before, forgotten. This doesn't happen, Clef whispered. This never happens. No one ever gets picked up randomly by a tree of hot babes in the middle of nowhere, especially if they're a blonde, brunette and redhead. Don't question it, just smile and get in car, Dimitri whispered. Clef shook his head as he saw Strelnikov climb into the back seat, sandwiched between the blonde on one side and the redhead on the other, grinning as the two scantily clad women pressed up against him. He turned his eyes to the sky, beseechingly. You got to be f***ing with me, he whispered. He got in the car anyway. How far away is the strip club you two work at anyway? Clef asked, above the purr of the Camaro's engine. The brunette next to him just smiled and shook her head. They had driven for hours. Clef and Strelnikov had no idea where they were, but it wasn't really a concern. They were more than content to allow the girls to fawn over them as much as they pleased.    Uh, what is he doing? She asked Clef, tapping him on the shoulder. He craned his head to look, hearing a sound that could only be likened to... Oh, it looks like he's mood-booting her. She gave him a quizzical look, and Strelnikov looked up from the other woman's bosom, long enough to say in practiced English. It is a rapid notion of the mouth across the breasts. She giggled and handed him another drink, which he held for to Clef and toasted. The girl smiles whitening. Their heads lulled about, and they couldn't help but notice that the telephone poles were whizzing by like blurs, the road becoming a mishmash of grays and whites from the evenly-painted dividing lines. The sky spun like a top, and together they fell into the darkness. Well, they're out, the blonde said. The other two girls sighed and relaxed. I thought they'd never drop, the brunette muttered. Seriously, how much flew to Trazapam to be slipped them anyway? About three times the normal dose, the redhead sighed, pushing Strelnikov away and buttoning her shirt up. This guy was mood-booting me all the way to the end, too. Well, we're done now, sighed the blonde. Now it's time for the boys to do their work. The red convertible pulled into a side street that didn't appear on any maps. The black SUV reached them shortly after. Wherever they were, it was freezing. They awoke groggily and were aware of only the blindfolds and the bindings around their hands and feet, the scuffling sounds they made echoing throughout the empty concrete room. A door opened and shut from behind them, and they heard the sound of boots on pavement, approaching and circling them. Harsh light assaulted their eyes without warning when the blindfolds were abruptly turned off, revealing a trio of unhappy-looking men standing before them. They wore crisply pressed and immaculately tailored military-style uniforms and were backlit by a naked, incandescent lightbulb.   Strelnikov asked, blinking. The data is, shall we say, redacted. As your people are so fond of putting it, responded one of the men. You gotta be f***ing with me, cleft side, exasperatedly. No, we are not f***ing with you, the man in the uniform said. He pulled up a chair and sat across from the two men. A golden eagle insignia on his uniform collar gleamed in the dim light. We are through f***ing with you. From this point forward, we are being serious.  Clouds of acrid smoke billowed from the stogie, filling the room with dense white vapors. Now, the colonel said, you are going to tell us exactly what you two Foundation personnel were doing, heading into a GOC operation in progress. What is your game? What are you trying to accomplish here? Clef and Strelnikov glanced at each other, then turned back to the colonel. What we are trying to accomplish? How do I put it? Clef muttered. Our trying to relax, get drunk and wet beaks, Strelnikov said. In no particular order, Clef added. Also, I am trying to work on Dan, Dmitry said. Maybe visit some nice museums or do some wine tasting. Meet nice people. In other words, we're on vacation, Clef concluded. The colonel pulled a boot knife from the bag next to him and stuck it point down into the table.  Actually we're not, Clef pointed out. No guns for one thing. Duh, and only one knife, no hatchet. Left SVD at home, Dmitry added. Really, what's a bit of sea for between friends, huh? Here in Texas, that's almost like owning a car. Detonator is not even primed.  Really. So, you aren't on a secret mission for the foundation? You are in the backup called in by a Foundation Operative six days ago in response to escalating KTE activity? Not at all. Didn't even want to go to Texas, Dmitry insisted. Wanted to go Brazil? Really, remember the colonel? He gestured to the screen behind him. The image of a young man with a black eye, wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian print shirt, appeared on the screen, flanked by gun-toting soldiers. This is from our Rio de Janeiro office. Does this man look familiar? The guy on the Hawaiian shirt raised his head gruggly and stared at the screen. His eyes lit up. Dr. Clef, Dmitry! Agent Yorick laughed. Are you here to rescue me? The two men stared at Yorick for a moment, then glanced at each other, then looked back at the colonel. I have never seen or met this man in my entire life. Clef lied. Is total stranger, Dmitry said. You've got to be f***ing kidding me, Yorick whimpered. And what happened after that? Dr. Glass asked. The psychiatrist was resting his chin on his hand, gazing at the three men sitting in his office, with an expression of spellbound fascination. Well, Clef said. We couldn't leave Yorick behind. So we break free of captors and gun them all down. Dmitry finished. Then we hijacked a GOC plane. Both, Dmitry corrected. Was it a boat? Clef wondered. I thought it was a plane. My report said both. Dmitry explained pointedly. Clef blinked once, very slowly, and smiled. It was a seaplane. The, Dmitry said, much revealed. Seaplane. That explained confusion. Yes, so after we hijacked the GOC. Seaplane. We flew down to Rio de Janeiro, found Yorick and rescued him. I see, Glass said, very slowly. And this is why you guys were late. Coming back from vacation. Well, we couldn't just fly back right away, Clef said. GOC was looking for us. Very dangerous. I didn't want to go back to their torture chamber, Yorick whimpered. So we disguised ourselves as tourists and waited for them to give up looking. Disguised as tourists. Glass repeated. Yes, as rich corporate executives on vacation. I see. And this explains the Glass ran an eye down the page of the document in front of him. Six nights at a luxury four-star hotel. Five thousand plus dollars in restaurant and liquor bills. And good lord. You bought how many condoms? And why six bikinis? The young ladies forgot theirs, Clef said. And they didn't want to go into the hot tub naked. Dr. Clef, my dear agents, I was not born yesterday. The Foundation Expense Fund is for emergency expenses in the line of duty. It is not to be used to fund a week of debauchery on the taxpayer's dollar. And your ludicrous story is both insulting to my intelligence and simultaneously, as if they had rehearsed this. And perhaps they had. The three men reached into the breast pockets of their Hawaiian shirts and pulled out three newspaper clippings and laid them on the desk in front of Glass. Unknown heroes foiled Chechen hijackers. Texas militiamen found gun down in desert. Blood shed in Rio. Two mystery men attacked Brazilian military base. Glass looked from one newspaper clipping to the other, then back up at the three men. He saw Yorick point to the rope burns on his wrists. He saw Clef lighting up a cigarette with a battered blood stained zippo with the words f*** communism engraved on it.  Dr.  You have got to be kidding me, he moaned. And a file. To learn more about the SCP Foundation, subscribe to SCP Orientation today and turn the notification bell on so you don't miss any of our videos.


TFNN headline news update. Good morning everybody. I'm Tommy O'Brien company live from TFNN headquarters in St. Petersburg, Florida, 10 a.m. Eastern time Monday morning 30 minutes into the trading day and we pick up right where we left off positive acceleration green across the board S&P and NASDAQ at all time highs S&Ps right now have 21 points trading at 3190 that's almost seven tenths percent in the green NASDAQ of 73 points that's almost nine tenths percent positive trading at 8808 and you've got the Dow up 157 points or just more than half a percent trading at 28,292 the Russell as well up 13 points more than eight tenths percent will start things off this morning coming over to the VIX quite a number 11 handle on that volatility index the VIX trading 1198 not that far removed from Tuesday when we had some negative acceleration briefly on some trade pessimism 1690 right down to an 11 handle as all time highs very little fear in this market start things off we'll jump over to the charts we'll start it off with the Dow we traded higher into the opening bell then we get an acceleration right out of the gate from opening about 90 to 100 points higher you have the Dow trade 26,235 you now about 80 points even above that level trading 28,312 NASDAQ 100 just peaked above 8600 briefly now trading 8595 there's your S&Ps we might get a 3200 print today we made it to a high of 319687 trading just off that level of 3194 there's your gold contract trading higher as well 1482 in the price of February gold crude above $60 trading at $60 and 20 cents and the Euro US dollar right now trading at 1,1152 terms of what else you have happening in the market news driving the action Boeing falling as the company debate debates cutting or halting 737 max production seems like they're producing the planes they're not selling them they may have to stop that for a brief period of time they're saying if the delay on that plane being approved stretches into January at least which that seems like basically all but assured Boeing this morning on that news traded lower still down 2.5% but off the low 32643 stay tuned folks I'm going to be coming back at 10 o'clock with Tom we have fast market by TD Ameritrade think or swim at 11 Basil Chapman Steve Rhodes Dave White Tom O'Brien all this afternoon markets at all time highs 30 minutes into the trading day stay tuned folks will be right back