Hello, everyone. We'll start now. Thanks for coming to our session. We are going to talk about one of the important network Services for moving your enterprise applications into OpenStack, load balancer. I'm Praveen Yelgandhula, and today I have my colleague Anand Patil. We're going to talk about Elbas in OpenStack. It's designed for a beginner Session, so we will do a primer on Elbas and go through the evolution of Elbas APIs in OpenStack, go through the implementations that have happened, and then talk about the newest service VM architecture that gives really high scalability, high availability load balancing as a service. So let me start with our primer. Most of you know what load balancer server, the main goal server, high availability and performance. So if you have one single web server, if something goes down and you have all your traffic coming for it, then you basically don't have any availability.  So that even if you have one server that goes down, you still have others to serve your traffic. Now, one of the things to notice here is that the load balancers basically have to monitor your back-end services. So they're not just sitting there and splitting your requests across these back-end applications, but they have to monitor and make sure that the back-end servers are always up and whichever is not up, take it out from service and so on. Over time, the load balancers have been involved to expect more and more to do more and more and move the application's features into the load balancers. So we'll go through some of them. First one is session persistence. So if you have a user coming in and if you just split and spread the load across all your servers, that's not very good. If you have put in something into your cart and when you visit the same site again, you want to see those objects that you have put into your shopping cart to still be there. So you want to have session persistence. So that means the load balancers have to know not only just spreading the request, but need to track state about who's the user, what IP address they're coming from, or put some cookie in there to figure out where to send that request to. So there is session-based persistence that the load balancers have to do. And also, that means that they also need to terminate your TCP connections, look into deep into the packet to figure out who the user is, like, for example, to look at cookie. And so if you have another user, then you basically persisted to a different server. The second thing is policy-based switching. So you may have different services that you expose through your load balancers. You may have the media servers that is where you host all your images and all your objects in your catalog and so on. And you may have, like, other set of servers, which are your PCI compliant, where you do all your grade card processing. So policy-based switching says that, like, be able to redirect traffic for different kinds of your user request onto different sets of backend pool members. So you need to have the capability to be able to specify, based on your regular expressions or even more deeper semantics, to say these are the kind of requests that go to this pool and these requests that go to the other pool.  And so you need to do load balancers need to do SSL termination on the connections. Now, there are multiple reasons people want to put SSL termination on the load balancers. One, you're trying to move the load of doing these expensive SSL handshakes away from your application. The SSL handshakes are pretty expensive during which the SSL session is established. And the second, if you look at this kind of picture, you have lots of these multiple application instances in the back end. So if your user is directly talking to these end points, then the user's browser has to do, like, if you have six media servers and it has, like, eight connections spread across those six servers, then it has to do, like, six handshakes, separate handshakes, because unless you start to share the SSL state across these, versus by pushing it into the load balancer, you have single place where to manage your entire users and their user sessions. And also it provides a single place where you can do all your SSL-related enforcements that you want to do. For example, as a company, you may decide that, oh, I don't want SSL v3 anymore because it's been proved not to be so secure. Then you can essentially apply the policy at that single point to say, don't do SSL v3 and just do TLS. So there are lots of these kind of features that are now expected from the load balancers as part of moving the functionality from end applications into the load balancer, like rate limiting the request coming from the user or doing the user-auth instead of each end application, doing the user-auth, you do your user-auth in one place and then just use the user identification for providing the rest of the services. Now, if I take one step further, the global server load balancing is the case where you install, you set up your applications across multiple data centers, across global regions. And you want to have... The main reason you do it is that you get very high fault tolerance. You're not just restricted to one data center where for some reason, if the data center goes down, then you don't have any backup. So you want to have it multiple places. That gives you high fault tolerance. And the other thing is that if you want to do active... Like, if both these systems are up and then you want to do geolocation-based load balancing, your users in one region that are close to the application, you want to route them there for lower latency and hence better perceived performance. And you also further want to have the session persistence. So if your user moves from one location to another location, you still want to preserve that user to the same site. And this is similar to session persistence that we talked about, the local load balancing, but here at the site level persistence. So let's move on to the OpenStack LBAS APIs and talk about how they have evolved over time. So LBAS was part of Neutron when it started. And Neutron LBAS version was version one, which was introduced in Grizzly. Very simple model, and it lacked a lot of features but gave the basic load balancing. And over time, once LBAS V2 started to add all the features that one was deprecated, and the LBAS V2 has been around since Kilo. And Octavia is the newest project that now moved out of the Neutron, and LBAS is not served under the Neutron APIs anymore and has its own separate API endpoint to directly talk to, and that's the Octavia, which is backwards compatible to LBAS version two APIs and is superset over LBAS V2 and been adding more features and so on and so in there. So I'll just start with LBAS V1 model to set stage on what the model looks like and because this is kind of expanded and enhanced over time. Any load balancer, as I mentioned, has basically kind of three or four components. There is a pool, which represents a set of servers, and you have a health monitor associated with it to tell how you want to monitor your back-end pool members, whether you want to do your HTTP-based monitoring as a ping-based monitoring or HTTPS-based monitoring, or you can add more things. It's a MySQL server, so you want to do maybe MySQL-based load monitoring and so on. And then you have the construct of the VIP, which is the front-end side. What's the IP address and the port at which this service is provided? That's what the user's connected. So that's the basic model for any load balancer. And LBAS V1 took this approach of having this pool as the centralized object and the whip at the top and so on. Unfortunately, there are several things that were missing in LBAS V1 right out of the back. People had issues using that model because it supported the single port, but whereas most applications have both port 80 and 443, and also there was no support for SSL termination and so on. So LBAS V2 is the next round of the API enhancements that have happened. And here the first construct that was added was the concept of listener. So you have the load balancer as the top-level object, which is where you specify what's your front-end IP address is. But instead of having single port baked along with the IP address, now there is a resource called listener. That's where you split your service across. So if you have port 80 and 443, you will have a couple of listeners. And on the other side, you have the model very similar to LBAS V1. And LBAS V2 added the support for SSL termination, for TLS support. For every listener there is, you associate a SSL cert and say use this SSL cert to terminate the connection so that load balancer can implement it and terminate the connections in the load balancer. And the LBAS V2 also supported SNI, which is where you want to have a single IP address but used for multiple websites, say foo.com and bar.com. I want to have same IP, but I want to serve different certificates. Otherwise, browser will not accept those certificates if you just serve one certificate. So SNI is the concept where you can say this is the server name or the host name and this is the certificate to use. So that way the load balancer can serve depending on what user is interested in a specific certificate for that site. And in case of LBAS, Newton-LBAS, all these certificates are stored in Barbicon. That's the service for secrets, managing and storing your secrets. And all that you put into the LBAS configuration is the handles to those Barbicon certificates so that your certificates are kept safe and your LBAS simply has the pointers to those certificates. And the other thing, big enhancement in LBAS V2 is the policy-based load balancing that we talked about. So you have option to specify multiple policies and associate with HTTP or HTTP as load balancers.  So you can have something to say, like all these so-and-so HTTP URLs, the action could be dropped or action could be forward-used, a specific pool, and so on. So LBAS V2 was a big jump over LBAS V1. But as you go up the stack in virtualization, L2, L3, L4... At L2, L3, L4, the kind of... the amount of things that you have to create APIs on to virtualize are kind of low. But as you go to the load balancer, there are so many requirements, so many things that application developers now expect from load balancers. So there are lots of things that are still, like missing from LBAS V2. Like there were missing protocols and SSL support was limited. Like you couldn't specify, like if I want to specify that I want to use only these ciphers and those not those some deprecated ciphers, it's not... There is no way to explicitly specify it. Whatever load balancer provider provides in the system, those are the only ones that are available. And also there was only support for one default set. And the health monitoring, the options that you have were limited. Octavia is the current project. And as mentioned before, it's a superset over LBAS APIs. And they have been working hard on providing lots of enhancements based on the community requirements, like UDP support is added. Even though it's not there, like the reference implementation doesn't give it, but if you have a provider that supports the UDP-based load balancing, at least you can bribe that through the APIs. And then there is statistics on listeners, quotas on objects, and like the alternate monitor port for pool members and so on and so on. So that covers the LBAS APIs. In OpenStack currently there is no GSLBE support. There was a project that was Atlas that was there, floated, I think about couple of years ago, but that got abandoned. At least there wasn't much that's there now. So to go through the implementation, so we talked about the interfaces, APIs. Now to talk about the implementations, we can categorize the initial implementations of LBAS into like kind of two different ones. One is the hypervisor process-based, which was the reference implementation using HAProxy, and the LBAS V1 and the initial LBAS V2, and the appliance-based. In case of the HAProxy-based implementation, the initial implementation was that you run HAProxy process for every instance of load balancer that you created on the OpenStack network nodes. And there is a LBAS agent that takes care of starting these HAProxy processes and killing them off once you remove the load balancer. And your compute nodes have the VMs. This kind of thing has some issues, right? Like you're not so trafficked as going through the HAProxy and going to VMs.  The HAProxy, this implementation is limited in scalability because you are tied to how many instances you can run on your network nodes. You can add more network nodes and so on. But it's the one single instance is dedicated to one load balancer, so there is no scaling out across multiple nodes or anything like that. When you build HA, you have to run like Pacemaker or keep LID to keep your HAProxy instances up and the tenant isolation is mostly best of it because it's all localized and running on network nodes. So it was not really for enterprise-grade clouds. The second kind of implementation is based on the appliances, where you have these box-based load balancers that you might have and you have in data centers and you put them alongside your installations of OpenStack. And you need to plug them into the underlay so that they can understand if you have VXLAN traffic, they need to understand the VXLAN. If you have a VXLAN overlay, then these load balancers need to understand the VXLAN protocol to be able to really do load balance. So in this case, not so traffic. It's now hitting your network nodes and going back to your appliances sitting outside and coming back in. And in case of Easterst, it's basically coming out of the OpenStack racks, going to these boxes and coming back. So there are several kind of issues with it. Overall, it's pretty complex and expensive because you need to have, like, to really do tenant isolation, you need to have multiple instances of these and these need to plug into the underlay. So setting up that and making operationalization, everything gets pretty complex. So we'll move on to talk about the service VM architecture. That's the new architecture where instead of having the appliance based on the left-hand side, like the legacy, you have this next generation where you have kind of a control plane and a data plane. And data plane is essentially these virtual machines, the service VMs that are running as other instances in your OpenStack cloud.  So Octavia takes this approach of service VM architecture. You have the control plane and AMP photo or the service VMs or service engine as running as containers in this case. And you have the control plane talking to different services to implement your load balancer. So here, Octavia has been around for two years, has been implementing this and is making quite a bit of progress. Now it has active standby and active-active is in progress. And now I'll switch to the one implementation, the service engine VM-based implementation that we at Avi has been doing. And we'll go on to talk a little bit more about that. So what we are is we have a software-based load balancer and it has the web application firewall, service mesh, and analytics, everything built into one single thing. And we've been around for five years doing this service VM architecture and we've been in deployment at several large companies and been well tested. So how does this architecture look like? So we built on SDN principles, like you have separate control plane and the data plane. And the data plane, as I was mentioning in the service VM architecture on the bottom, they're all like VM instances or container instances or running on bare metal. And these run either in your local data center on prem clouds or in the public clouds. And it could be OpenStack or AWS or vCenter or anywhere.  So it's a multi-cloud solution. And like any SDN, the central controller is the central brain. It collects the analytics about all the service engine VMs and that's what provides information about how well the system is doing and also analytics about your applications. And it's fully 100% restful API so you can have all kinds of automations like Ansible or Terraform or all the other kinds of automation that you can think of. Now how does it integrate into OpenStack? So you have the controller that talks to these different services that you have in OpenStack. As I mentioned, for service VM architecture, you need to be able to spin these VMs and be able to connect them to the right networks to receive the traffic and do the load balancing. So we integrate into Nova Neutron for the VM creation and for doing the networking. And also integrate into Horizon so we can provide all the analytics and everything into like a single framework in Horizon. And it's integrated into Keystone for providing multi-tenancy. You can configure the load balances through the Neutron Elbas APIs and all are through heat objects. And we also have full heat resources for our full resource model. So you can create full-featured ADC instances using heat. Now I'll walk you through a little bit steps of how really it looks like. So I'll ignore a lot of details and go through like an installation. Just walk through like how it works and show it some animation. So typical deployments, the administrator creates the RV controller, connects it to OpenStack controllers by providing the credentials so that the RV controller can talk to these different services. And there is a management network which is the management network used for talking to the service engine VMs. And let's suppose user has two servers, server one and server two, and I want to load balance across these two servers. So I create a load balancer. What the control plane does is to spin up these service engine instances as NOVA VMs, regular NOVA VMs. And these are created as many as needed like if it's an active-active configuration we'll spin up at least two. And by there will be two, and if it is best offered there will be one. So whatever is the criteria that user wants based on to meet those SLAs will spin up as many instances. And then connect them to the right networks using the Neutron APIs. Actually we use NOVA Attach interface for connecting these and to figure out the right Neutron networks and so on. And connect them to the right Neutron networks. Now, once you have this, the service engines attract the virtual IP traffic that's the front-end traffic and simply start load balancing across different servers. Now, if you look at this architecture with the service engine VMs, one of the key benefits of this architecture is now you can start to do all kinds of nice things about like tenant isolation or if you want to do sharing and all those things are possible with this architecture. If tenant isolation is easy, you just create different service engines for different tenants. So if you have different servers that you're load balancing to across different tenants, then you basically get strong isolation. So one tenant doing something, some wrong configuration or taking out some virtual machine is not going to affect the traffic going to the other tenant. Now, I ignored a lot of details in the previous slides to didn't say anything about where those virtual machines are created or how they're getting created and so on. So this is, here we'll go through how this service VM architecture gives the flexibility on where you place your service engine VMs. So one possible option is that you can place the service engine VMs in the tenant's context so the tenant gets to see how many VMs that they're using and so on so that gets counted against their quotas. Or you can have them all collated into a separate LBAS tenant so that the tenant doesn't see them and won't be able to do anything to them, but you can still provide the load balancing and purely as a service and that is what tenants consume. And this mode also gives another flexibility that if you don't care about tenant isolation, say you have a thousand test projects creating a individual service engine VM for each tenant means like you're just spinning up 2,000 virtual machines for your thousand test tenants which basically means you need lots of resources. So by having the flexibility of spinning them up in a separate tenant you have the option to basically share the same VMs for your test tenants but at the same time you can have isolation by creating separate service engines for other tenants where your production traffic is. So all those things are possible with this service engine VM architecture. Now to talk a little bit about availability, the different kinds of high availability that you can have, Active Standby is the one common one where you basically spin up 2 VMs as soon as the load balancer detects that one of them has gone down, the other VM starts sending out gratuitous ARPs to attract the traffic for that VIP so that the traffic gets diverted to the other one while the controller can spin up a replacement for that service engine. So this is the Active Standby and you have Active-Active case where you're basically splitting the traffic across multiple service engines and basically both of them are active and working on the traffic. In this case again, once one service engine VM goes down the other one takes the load temporarily for all the load but the control plane will spin up another service engine again and spread the traffic across. You can have like a N plus M HA where you have always have N service engine VMs running and extra M capacity that is used and kept as Standby instead of just one one in Active Standby. So all those configurations are possible in this model. So the control plane, the other thing that I mentioned previously was about elasticity. So as you have the case where if your traffic starts to increase the control plane monitors how well each of these service engines are doing how much traffic they are taking on and you can either do or autoscale or do policy-based elastic scale where you say as soon as the CPU load goes above this percentage or the app response times falls goes above certain latencies then increase the number of instances and then spread the traffic across those instances. So the elasticity is another important thing that the service engine VM architecture brings that you can't get with those single instance deployments that we the implementations that we have seen before. This is one of the big powerful things but it also brings out one of the complications in OpenStack itself. So OpenStack neutron the network abstractions allow only a single IP on a single interface. So that means there is no con like the virtual routers the neutron virtual routers doesn't have a concept of ECMP. So if you have traffic the only way then you can really spread the traffic across is basically attracted to one single VM and then punt it out to the follower service engine VMs. But this means that you have a bottleneck. Now you have a pps limit on single vnake and you might have known that if you did any performance measurements with traditional KVM OVS ML 2 the number of packets per second that you can get is pretty small. So typical ways that you... Sorry, let me do this. So typical ways that you get around this is either you talk directly to underlay to say, okay, neutron abstractions doesn't provide it but talk to if there is an underlay that supports ECMP talk directly to the underlay and set up ECMP so that you can get the traffic. Or the other option is to like do BGP peering with upstream router which is what I'll show with this picture here. So you can have a upstream router and the service engine VMs can do BGP peering directly with the upstream router. This is not the virtual router. Your physical router that supports BGP or a virtual router, not the neutron router. And the service engine VMs can do BGP peering with it so that and start advertising the virtual IP so they can do real ECMP across with these virtual IPs. And this is like we have some customers that are heavily dependent on this because they have several hundreds of thousands of connections per second that come through and several hundreds of thousands of SSL handshakes that you need to do per second. And you can't really do anything like that without this kind of ECMP support. To quickly talk about GSLB, with support GSLB, you can have our control plane and data plane installed across your multiple data centers or in your public cloud. And these control planes communicate with each other and track information about like where your service is up. And do DNS-based GSLB. But we also do active standby or active-active across these locations. And it has geolocation-based load balancing and the session persistence. All of that is bent into it. Now, we want to go through demos.  Thanks Praveen. Hello, everyone. I am Anand. I'll take you through the demo. So this is the OpenStack Horizon UI. And we have OpenStack Cloud configured here with AVI-Elba's plugin installed in it.  This is the demo. I'm choosing the subnet. We can choose any of these on Robin. And I have a server here that I'm going to add as pool member. Monitor type is going to be HTTP. My server is listening on port 80. So now the load balancer driver is actually calling AVI-Controller invoking REST APIs on AVI-Controller and creating the virtual services. And it's going to place the virtual service on one of the service engines, the VMs that Praveen was talking about. Here, if you see, I think I should refresh. Now if you see, this is the load balancer that got created and it has one listener. I am going to associate a floating IP to this load balancer. You can see this is the floating IP that got associated. Run some traffic. And this is the application that's running on the server and this is the root page. Going back to the load balancer, this is... So we also have Horizon dashboard for OpenStack Horizon where we show the entire AVI-Controller UI and one can go in this UI and, you know, there are a lot of features that are provided here that one can use. If you see all the virtual services, all the load balancers that were created in OpenStack, they are visible here. Of course, there are many more. The recent one we created was the demo one. There are other things that you can do with this load balancer that you have created. You can scale out the virtual service, which means you can, you know, choose a service engine or it will spin up another service engine if you want to scale out the virtual service. You can migrate it to another service engine. Here you can see the details like the service engine that is hosting this virtual service. And if you see this panel, right, this is the analytics that is provided by AVI and if you see there is some traffic running over here for this virtual service and you see the type of metrics that we are creating here, collecting here and reporting them. If you see this is the client RTT, which is the time taken for a request to reach to AVI load balancer from client and this is service RTT, which is the time taken from the AVI load balancer to the backend server and this is the actual app response time and here if you see this is the color coding which provides you a greater insight into what is consuming more time. Here if you see the green ones are the client RTT and which is taking most of the time. If you see 105 to, you know, it's like more than 100 milliseconds and the app response time is pretty good and we also collect the logs here if you see and these are all the requests that are hitting the AVI load balancer for the virtual service and clicking on one of the requests you see a lot more details and you have a lot of insight into this. Here on the left-hand side, if you see it gives details of the client from where the request is originating and which device is being used and browser and all those things and here if you see what is the actual URI, you know, and if you see the... For each request, we are showing what is the client RTT, server RTT and app response time and the data transfer time. Data transfer time is actually the time taken for the entire response to get to the client. And we also have some more analytics here. You can choose the... You can click on the devices to see what are the top devices that are making these requests. You can choose the location to see from where the requests are originating. These are the top locations. End-to-end is basically the end-to-end time taken for the request to be served. Here if you see there are some of the requests which are taking a lot more time than expected and you can just click on them to see further details. Here are the actual requests that those took this much time and again you can further drill down and see what actually is taking the time here. If you see the client RTT is like 958 milliseconds, so it's the request from client to the load balancer which is taking most of the time. That's all I have for the demo. Thank you, Anand. Okay, so just to summarize the things... Yeah, so our AVE solution, the Service Engine VM architecture does the elastic albass and has the integrated analytics. It's 100% API driven and we built it as a SDN kind of architecture with control plane and data plane with the data plane elastically increasing. And it's multi-tenancy with keystone integration and we have very deep visibility and insights built into the product. So it's an enterprise-grade ADC analytics engine for your cloud, whether it's on-prem or whether it's AWS or Azure or whichever cloud that you're working on. So thanks for spending time with us in this session and we are open to questions now. I guess we ran out of time. Yep, so how do we implement SNI in our implementation? So as I mentioned, SNI is about doing it as the TLS connection comes in. You have the host name in there and we're basically doing the SSL termination and we are looking into the request so we know what's the host name that's associated with that request. So at that point, the SSL certs that we offer to the client, those are based on the name that you see. So that's implemented in there. Okay, so for that particular aspect, those are the kind of reasons why we couldn't expose everything through the Elbas dashboard because not everything is there. So that's why we integrated it into Horizon so that our full UI is available and you can actually do the SNI directly through this element in the Horizon. So for example, I have this demo listener and what I can do is create a virtual service. Let's do the advanced setup. And I will say I want to do a virtual hosting and I can say this is going to be a child for the demo VS. Again, that's the other virtual service that we created. I guess that one is not valid for that, so I'll have to create a virtual... We have to designate which VS is going to be the parent VS since the VS that we created through Elbas is not really a parent VS that we could use.  And then specify for each child VS what's the domain name that you want to serve, say something like foo.com and which particular certificate that you want to use for that. So we have the SSL certificate that you basically specify which one to use for that. So that's available through... Yeah, so good question. So your question is how do we do the policies? And you're asking on, like, F5, you have the iRules language to specify the policies? Yeah. So what we have done early on is that we basically looked at the typical rules that people write for doing the policies and figured out that most of them, like 99% of them you can do with primitive policies itself. So they are, like, in our model, they are primitive policies in the sense that you can actually configure everything through the object model itself instead of writing any code. It's basically building to the APIs itself, similar to the Elbas V2. Elbas V2, the options that are available are pretty limited, but we have much more deeper, like, policies that you can do. Let me show, like, what you can do as an example. Say I pick this up, if I do this. So we can do, like, all kinds of, like, network security layer policies or HTTP-level security policies, HTTP request-level policies. And you can do a bunch of things on, like, what you want to match on, like, all these different kinds of fields. But we also have lower-based data scripts, which kind of, to fall back on, worst case that you have, like, very complicated logic that you want to build into ADC and have to do some specific rewriting of lots of headers and fields that you can still do, we have lower-based data scripts that we support. That's the, like, the fallback. Yeah, lots of them. It's basically pretty functional. Yeah, you can do full regex on the, regex and replace on the data that's going through the request. Yeah. Yes, this is ours. Yeah. So the product itself is not free. This one is open-sourced code on how to integrate it into OpenStack, but that's, yeah. Thank you. Thank you, everyone. Yes. Yeah, you can. Yeah. Yes, you can. So you don't need to have any pool members at all. You can just create a VES, write some rule. Actually, we also have this, not even write anything. Like, let's suppose you want to attract traffic for a specific port and drop it. You can do it through, like, by setting a security policy and just dropping the traffic. Yes, you can. You can basically say, for HTTP request, the response, the action can be, you just either redirect, modify your L, or do content switch. I think this is on the HTTP response where you can have, one of them has that. How is it is to integrate this into OpenStack? So the thing, like, basically there are two points of integration. If you want to use Elbas version to APIs, if you need to use them, then we have a small driver that you install in your Elbas as a provider, as another provider. And then this horizon code is, again, another small pick package that you install in Horizon for exposing it. But our controller, our solution itself, there is the control plane that you need to install. That's one, two, three controllers, depending on, like, whether you want available redundancy or not. And then the controller itself spins up the data plane engines as needed. Thank you.


We only have to look in our own backyard. Here's Bruce. There's Bruce. It's a bit of a famous picture. Bruce is in the room. I think Bruce... Does Bruce look like he's driving to the fire?  To me, that picture there says it all. The fact is, do your own maths, people. Do your own maths. We don't have enough trucks to go to every house. The traditional response model, the one that we've told our community for 100 years that is going to come and save your life, does not stack up any more. Can I tell you, when I first joined the job, back in, well, a couple of years ago, we don't need to go to that little detail, the reality was I was not allowed. It was against the CFA policy to tell people that they weren't going to get a fire truck to their house.  Why do you think we did that? Absolutely. Keep the illusion was the point made here, is because we wanted to make the community feel safer. We didn't want them to know that they weren't getting a fire truck. Dawn led a community fire guard group in King Lake and actually every house in that particular street was saved. Not one person in her community fire guard group died. So do you see her wearing any medals? Do you see her getting any accolades? Do you see her in the Herald Sun? Do you see her on Channel 7, Channel 9, any of the main leaders? No. No wreckage, just a quiet achiever. Save more lives. There's probably at least 100 dawns in this room that you people have the power to make that change that we cannot do with the provision of a fire truck. The interesting thing for those who were here last year, there's a guy here called David Chalk. I think his name was David Chalk. And David Chalk said, you know who the community relate to most? It's not the shiny bums out of your quarters. It's not the bloody buffins, buffeds in suits or the school teachers that we may employ under a volunteer, under the Fire Ready Victoria campaign. It's actually the local person and the local community that that will listen to. And there's a terry asking a star. I didn't want to say a terry because it wasn't part of their journey. This is why we created the Kaftan Wearing Community Safety Department I was going to mention terry. Terry did ask me to say that. We created the two departments in our organisation because we recognise all we need to get in contact with their community. But our firefighters can't do it because they are just knuckle-dragging. They were not going to connect with their community. They're environmental vandals. They are just no good at all. They're only good for putting wet stuff on red stuff. Wrong, wrong CFA. We need to change that around. We recognise now the power is we've got to have our brigades engaged in the community giving both suppression and prevention a community message and empowering. We need you. I thought about actually handing out a baton and said I want everybody to take this baton. When you leave here, you take the baton and you're then charged with the responsibility of actually empowering your community or getting your brigade on board. I said to the CEO there at the start, interesting we have 65,000 volunteers. We know about 20, maybe 30,000 are operational. Most of those people are also a lot of those are community practitioners and gauges. What are the other 40,000 doing? I put to you, we've probably got equally as many people that are only interested in giving a community message. And again, like dawn has the potential of saving more lives than any people will in a fire truck. Interesting, isn't it? The movement continues. It continues to grow. It is getting bigger.  But are we there yet? Are we there? I put to you, does every home have a working smoke line? This is not just bushfire. This is not just natural events. Is everyone that is vulnerable to bushfire prepared to act safely under threat? Will they make an informed decision?  We've got a lot of work to do to make Victorians and indeed South East Australians with a couple of the New South Wales people here, so I'm making a little broader, to make people safe.


Hello, you clicked on the video. You already know exactly what this is. We're playing a game. Here's me and some other people say, say hello. Introduce yourselves. Hi, guys. Hello, I'm here. You can find me at Murphy and appear on YouTube. Is it not at undulating? Is that there you go? Yeah, at undulating the peer. After I'm saying, nape, napeer. Just put in Murphy and appear undulating. There you go. That's me. I am Tim. Hi. Hello, Jimmy. That's me. I'm Funk.  I'm here today because I was asked and I figured they needed some color. So what's more colorful than the redneck? Speaking of rednecks, I am Zoe B. I make YouTube videos. I am also a writer and a poet and ex English teacher. And I think that probably gives me every qualification that I need for this. So we'll see how it goes. Nice and double speaking of rednecks. I actually claim hillbilly, not redneck, but I am Jackson. I work at Campfire, the writing software and an author of the well-known novel, The Quest for the Golden Plunger. There we go. He's a cat. You can find him at nowhere. He has no online presence. You can find him at my house in like 24 hours. There you go. And today.  The game is going to be pretty simple. I will put up a name and all these other fine people will have to try and guess. Is it the name of romance author or is it the name of a porn star? And before anyone's upset, no, there won't be anything explicit in this video. Don't worry, no explicit photos or anything like that. So before just just don't worry. Don't worry about that. This is all in good fun. And I had a bit where I was going to rip my pants off. Is that off? Oh, you know, maybe get back to me on that. We'll see. OK, sounds good. Oh, do I like any of the extra features or something? There you go. All right.  What if it's a both situation? Oh, that's a good question. You'll just have to wait and see on that one, Daniel. I the only hint I'll give you on this is that it's about 50, 50 split. OK, all right. OK.  That'd be pretty impressive if I was able to find that. I will also say I mostly tried to find lesser well-known porn stars, so don't get too excited, gentlemen. OK, so first one here, y'all can see my screen, correct? Yes, sir. Yes. OK. So first one up here is Anna DeVille, we're going to go this one at a time. Daniel, would you say Anna DeVille is a romance author or a porn star? That sounds literary to me. Like DeVille, that's fancy. So I'm going to say romance author. OK, Jackson, how about you?   OK, and Zoe. Oh, I think this says like dominatrix to me.  OK, Tim. Well, this is clearly Cruella DeVille's like a strange sister who, instead of going for dogs, went for doggy style.    So OK, OK, that's when it gets fancy.  Yes, yes. OK, funk. See, I'm looking at it and I'm like, when I see Anna DeVille, I see a classy old lady in a fur coat. The only problem is that doesn't narrow down author or porn star because she could be both. She's your own. She's your own woman.    My brain stopped for a moment. It's OK to look like this one's unanimous. Everybody said porn star, which is correct. Yeah, everybody. We are getting photos. Nothing explicit, I said. I didn't say there's no photos. Said there's nothing. Do we get to keep account of our own points? You can. If you'd prefer. I'm just I think you just leave my points up to me. I'm just I want to know who wins. Hang on. Oh, yeah. That's what, like I said, no emotional investment. I just want to learn about porn stars. Like research later. Just writing these down like for a later research. Is she a dominator? Oh, no. Yeah, that's the important question. You know, I didn't check, Tim. You don't have to do that on your own. I'll look. I don't want to look. OK, so she everyone who has a pen has one. All right. Right. Yeah. OK, cool. Next question, Brittany Cherry, but Brittany is spelled all weird. So that's like three different types of weird. Yeah, exactly. So Daniel, Brittany Cherry, romance author or porn star. See, for me, Brittany says kind of no offense spelled like that. It says like, oh, I was born in a state that doesn't vote intelligently. So for me, this is someone who isn't a porn star, because if you're going to make, if you're going to do porn, so you add wise, you don't add arbitrary eyes and days. So this is a romance star. This is a romance author from the south, in my opinion. OK, Jackson. I have to say, I think it I think it's romance author because if if this is a porn star name, then you really did a bad job at picking your porn star name. It's Brittany. Yeah, I mean, that's as someone who does marketing. This is very poor marketing, obviously. OK, yeah, Zoe, as someone who pays me to market for him, you're not very good at yourself. I think, yeah, I think that like Cherry is too like it's very like low hanging fruit as far as like double entendre goes for porn. So, yeah, I'm also going to say romance author very good point for what it's I would also like to add this is this is also one you I could see written in like a cursive font on the front of a romance novel. Like I just think it fits that. OK, Tim. I would say it has to be. I'd say it has to be romance author. I was going to say that like it's too low hanging fruit. I was going to say a similar thing that the cherry sounds like it's leaning into the genre because like porn star names are always just like I don't know, I can't think of many which are like actual plays on six words to be perfectly honest. Like so, whereas I can't think of romance authors that have done that. So I'll go romance author. OK, and funk.  I would I would think of like we think of like European barbarians, but Britney Spears. Oh, that was like Britannia. I'd pay good money to see that come over the horizon.  She is a dominatrix. Sorry. You would have no, she would have to be. It's obviously she's an author because I feel like she looked at her name. Her name is just Britney and she's like, I need to like smart this up. I need people to look at this and be like, this is a smart, intelligent woman. Therefore, I'm calling myself Britannia now so they can look at me and be that while Britain British people are smart and go with that. That's that's my point.  Because like the more letters you got in your name, the smarter you are. The more letters. That's why my cousin just shocked us. Has your home is the smallest one in our family. He went to college. All right, looks like this one was also unanimous. It was all romance author and that is also correct. Britney, Cherry was a romance author. That is the. Sorry. Everybody has two points. That is the exact cover. I would expect the Britannia, Cherry, but they look like. Also, kind of like love your accent. Like this is like, I do not know. I don't think I've talked to anyone with your deepened accent before. It's it's sadly hereditary. I tried to work on it and this is actually me after having worked on it. So I still sound terrible. No, as Daniel said, you know, he just done. He just doesn't like your state, you know, it's fine. I don't either. Do you think you have top three American accents? I think you're pretty great.   Yes. There you go. All right. Question three, Jenna Wolfhart. Daniel, what do you think Jenna Wolfhart?  There's no doubt in my mind. It's a romance author and she writes furry porn. That's that's it. That's it. And she it's specifically where Wolf oriented. OK, Jackson. I don't want to like just copy what Daniel says, but if that's romance author, it. All right, Zoe. I think that it's it's so obviously romance author that you included this secretly to be a wild card and it's actually a porn star. OK, and Tim. It's got to be a romance author.  Tim, how was coming spelled in that sentence for me, please? No, no. Do you? Like I said, no, no explanation. Yeah, this video is monetized. It might be. We'll see. And funk. Last one. Do you think romance author for like after I went to the bookstore and found Jenna Wolfhart's like hit furry Native American novel, three knots in a wedding, I'd have to say the romance author. OK, you found a book. Is that it was on the discount rack back there and it was like in a brown paper sack. And I was like, well, this looks interesting. And I felt like a famous art effect.  I bleached it. Well, four out of five said romance author, and that is correct. Jenna, that's a vampire book. I'm right. There's vampires in that book, which is close enough to Furry's apparently. I also spelled Wolfhart wrong in the question. That's not on you. That's on me. No, James, you spelled it right. She spelled it wrong. I want to make that clear. If you think about it, though, aren't vampires just goth furries? They turn into bats. Sure. I mean, I guess so. I don't know enough about goths or furries. No, people are in vampires. There's necrophiliacs. There you go. They're the undead. OK. Next one is Paige Steele. Daniel Paige Steele, romance author or porn star? Well, it's a play on. It's like it's either an author who writes and steals a lot of their material or it's a porn star. I feel like this is what Zoe was talking about last time.  All of these are trying to be a cheeky bastard, Daniel.  It's a porn star and Steele has a different connotation for her name. OK, Jackson, I see the I see Steele. I think porn star.  All right, Zoe.  Yeah, yeah, Steele. It's good when it's spelled like that. I don't know why, but apparently they like it. All right. And Funk. I'm going to I'm going to risk it all here. And I'm going to say romance author just because Steele thinking power page.  Oh, I'm getting deep over here. I believe there is a romance author named page Turner, actually. But most everybody said porn star and that is correct. Oh, well, I know my porn. I'm going to start missing some of these on purpose because this is. Coward, funny enough, the library my mother works for, they had a mascot her name with page Turner. And they had to stop using her because she got too sexy. There you go. What? Yeah, they had a lot of people complain like, why do y'all have this woman who she was dressed like Jessica Rabbit? And like they had gotten one of their employees to draw. And they were like, well, why is she so sexy? And I'm like, well, she's a page Turner. And they're like, no, we can't use this anymore. And they had like t-shirts and they and I used to have the shirt. And I might have to see if I got it around here somewhere. All right. First of all, I just want to say reading is sexy. So all right. Next up, Stella Cox. And if someone's just listening in and not looking at the screen, it's not spelled that way. OK, so Daniel Stella Cox, romance author, a porn star. This one's splitting me right down the middle. I can see it going both ways. Stella to me screams author Cox screams porn star.  I'm going to double down on the porn star. OK, Jackson. Romance author, you're throwing a curveball. This is as someone whose last name is Dickert, I kind of specialize in phallic names. And I'm saying this is romance author. Easy. All right. Zoe. Yeah, I agree. I think this one. The devil on Tondra is two on the nose. I think that it's romance author. All right. This one's actually going down the middle, Tim. I am going to say romance author. And the reason for that is that I don't believe a female porn star would use the name last name Cox.  Oh, that's OK. Can I change my vote? I'm so sorry, James. Don't kick me out, please. Sure.  What do you say, Daniel? I say it's romance author. Yeah. OK, so we got four romance authors now, Funk. I want to be the contrarian because I feel like somebody had already got Cox with three X. So they said I'm going to be Cox with one X because I was placed.  So most everyone said romance author and it is. Oh, I'm sorry. And Tim. Oh, back in the race. You you change. That's not on me. You change. It's on you. You are convincing with your accent. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so persuasive. You know, I'm just disappointed in her. She could have chosen such a such a more clever name. I think that's that's the real tragedy here. If you were her, what name would you have chosen? Oh, gosh.  I don't think it's less. That's more like classy, I think. I mean, something like writing me. You know, actually true story and Funk saying the three X's thing reminded me of this.  Like after we're done recording, I can tell you guys if you're curious, but like her name did have the three X's in it. I am so curious about other things because it would be very weird for me to say that on a live stream. Yeah. No, like I said, if you're really curious, I'll tell you a name after this, but I'm not doing it publicly. OK, next up, Alyssa Kent. Alyssa Kent, romance author, romance. Hardcore ceiling and no one can miss me otherwise. It's Alyssa Kent. That is a name you choose because it looks good in a cursive font on a romance novel. Absolutely. Daniel says romance. Jackson, you say romance. Yes. All right, Zoe. Yeah, I think I think romance author as well. Romance author, Tim. Yeah, Daniel's Daniel's right. It's and it's down to stay where it's like I feel like Paul Starr's name so very much like search, search oriental or something. I don't know. You can't yell that name in bed. Alyssa. No, it's not. Alyssa, you can't. I wonder. I don't know if I'm allowed to say this. Maybe I am. I wonder if the last name is also sort of a double entendre. Oh, I don't think that strongly enough to change my answer. But OK, there could be something there.  No, sorry, I was like double entendre. Oh, that's all. Yeah, I don't understand. Mom, come pick me up. All right, I'm scared. Funk. Last one. Romance author or porn star? I'm going to go with romance author, too, because Alyssa is too hard to spell in a search engine and you probably would just put Alicia and mess it all up and get three other girls. All right, so it's unanimous romance author and all of you are wrong. Oh, what? I didn't choose her name, man.   She's like, and well, that's my exact fetish. So that works for me. There we go. I'm the forever body. All right, Helen Hart, but hard to spell the German way. Daniel, what do you think? Helen Hart, romance author or porn star? The Germans are known for their porn. OK. It's it's supposed to be like Helen Hart, you know what I mean? And to me, Helen Hart, that's an all that's a romance author.  But my theory is that it's a romance author who's pretending to be a woman, but it's actually a man. That's my that's my theory. OK, I mean, shamed. Their family will judge them. I mean, just recently, it came out that one of the most popular mystery female mystery authors in Spain was actually just three men writing under the same name, so it's not impossible. All right, Jackson, romance author or porn star? I'm going to say romance author because heart is it's like heart, you know, actually, that answer was that answer was already taken. Oh, was it? OK, that big point. OK, Jackson says is that one still available? I think it is. Yes. All right, Zoe, what do you think? But both options are taken. So I think. Oh, gosh, I don't know. I I'm trying to make the decision between like is having your first and last name start with the same letter more of a like, does that look better on a book cover or is it better for? I don't know, because it's like a superhero name.  There's a very thin line between the two. Um, so I'm going to go with a romance author. OK, we got three for romance author Tim on the winning winning team. She's on the winning team. So here's my thinking is that. Even though it sounds more like a porn star name, I know that people who write erotica and the sort of thing tend to be women in their like 30s and 40s. And because of that, they're more likely to have a name like Helen, because my mom has a friend called Helen in her generation. And I struggled to believe that a porn star, unless it's an older porn star would use the name Helen, which is from a different generation. So I'm thinking it's got to be a romance or OK, romance. Like some of those names are like making a comeback, you know, like Ellen or let's make it a comeback, apparently. Yeah. And fun class one. We got four romance authors and what and what do you think? See, the first thought is to go with porn star because heart. She's got that. She's saying her last name is hard T, meaning she does like nipple fetish stuff. So she's like, hey, I'm advertising with my name. But then also the writing group I'm part of was always talking about having your pen name be something with alliteration is easy to remember. So I'm torn between those two. So you know what? I'm going to join the crowd. I'm going to say romance author. All right. Everyone says romance author and it is correct. Romance author. The Steel Brothers novel. Are these books good? Have you read any of these jokes? I have not. No. Howard, I found them while looking. Hey, hey, this is the number one New York Times bestselling author. What? I mean, I guess so. Do you have any idea how easy it is to get on that list, Tim? No, I don't.  That's how it has it listed. I don't know what the requirements are. No one does. You have to be traditionally published as one of the big things. Right. OK. Next up, we have Jayman Eve. That's kind of a weird name, Jayman.  OK, I guess Tim says porn star. Daniel, what do you say? This one's got me wet, James. This one's got me wet. I'm feeling slippery. It's a slippery slope. Well, yeah, I know you're not going to want to just knock this from side to side for a minute, see how this is going to jiggle out of me.  OK, we got two for porn star. Jackson, what do you think? Daniel has such a way with words. I've never heard somebody use the expression jiggle out of me before.  So I'm saying porn star. We got three for porn star. Jackson, that answer was taken. All right, Zoe. Oh, gosh. Hmm. Jamin is such an odd name. Yeah. And I wonder, I don't know if that. I don't know, like, would that be a name that someone would choose that, like, they would come up with that they want? I mean, I guess we are talking about pen names. So it's chosen either way. Hmm. I'm going to go romance author because J's and wise and V's also look very fancy in pretty, pretty font. So I'm going to say romance author. All right.  So Funk, what do you say? See, I'm going to look at this first and Jamin runs with Stamen, which is part of a flower's reproductive cycle. So I'm sitting here thinking like that speaks about virility and new growth. And I also look at Jamin and I feel like at some point this girl showed up to dance somewhere. It was like, my name is Jasmine Eve. But a Z in cursive looks terrible, especially when a bouncer is riding it on a clipboard. So she got Jamin, got famous with it. And now every day her regret is they messed up that Z in her name.  All right. So we have four for porn star, one for romance author. Corrects. All right. And I mean, that that's just porn right there at all. But are all of these supernatural? A lot of them are. But not like all of these like women find dark months to mean that is want to take them. Somebody read Cassandra Clare one time, got horny and like could never get their fix. And they just started writing. Cassandra Clare is like three. And she's definitely got like a head hidden fanfic account somewhere where there's this like much more beastly writing. Oh, it's not hidden. Cassandra Clare got her start in fanfiction and she also got in trouble for plagiarism. It's a whole long story. Wait, what? Yeah. Really? That's amazing.  That's amazing. I this is a whole new world to me. Yeah, you can look it up. It's long, but next question is Aloisa James. Now I know why JK so hated. No, sorry. OK. Actually, for what it's worth, you're all tied at five points. But so Aloisa James, Daniel, is that romance author or porn star? That's a porn star. That's Aloisa James.  And I don't know how their career is going, but they they chose a distinctive name that they think sounds like something sexual. And that's why it's Aloisa James. OK, Jackson, what do you think? I'm not feeling confident. Can you come back to me? OK, Zoe. That's why you can't be in porn. So I think, in my opinion, if I were to read this, it would probably be pronounced Aloisa, so it's like Aloisa, but like maybe modern or something. I don't know. And I think I'm going to say romance author. This is a romance author that thinks that they're very classy and, you know, they write the romance for like older women. OK, so Tim, that's my what do you think? I was kind of thinking along the lines of Zoe B. It sounds like a name that they're trying to do the whole like very pretty unusual kind of first name. And then the second name is kind of like, isn't there another romance author with the last name, James, that I'm forgetting? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. And so I'm just vibing with like kind of that fancy and their normal part of grouping together. I don't know what the implication would be if this was a porn star name. It feels like Aloisa is like a name that's been spelled wrong. So I'm going to go. I'm going to go. I'm going to change my name just to contradict Zoe here. There are a romance author, but they write the nastiest, most deplorable stuff. That's my guess. There you go. So you're changing your answer to romance. Yes, but like stanky romance. Like, OK. And then even King would blush. Funk, what do you think? I'm going to snowball off of what's always got going on here. It is like a romance writer. They write old and old fashioned spot for the most part. We're talking like Gilded Age stuff, where there's a jazz record skipping post-cortis, so I'm going to go with romance author. OK, we got four romance authors. Jackson, you going with everybody or OK? No, come on, Daniel. This is this is my mom, you know. All right, Jackson, what do you think? You going to go with everybody else? Are you going to? I do like James as a last name for an author classic. However, I'm thinking that maybe she's kind of trying to go for like Girl Next Door vibe, you know.  All right. So Jackson says porn star. Everyone else says romance author and corrects. Yeah, this is exactly exactly this sort of look. Yeah, this person is also a new time bestseller. Everyone's a new time bestseller. Yes, like I said, it's not that hard to get out at you. Oh, I love that. It was like it was like it was a it was a short story as well called Storming the Castle. And it's just like that's such an on brand title. But hey, James, is it James? Is it cool if I change my zoom name to my porn store name? Go for it, bro. Mine is Johnny depth for what it's worth. Oh, I've got to do mine. How do you like figure out what it is? I mean, is it just something you like listen to your heart? Or is it like a well, I didn't have to listen to my heart. I had to listen to a different part of my anatomy. But I'm a fun story. So a friend of mine, you know, how there was always those means of government, you take your first cat's name and your street name, put them together to put something hers was. And I'm not even kidding. Lulu Eclipse when it came out, how much like more of an on brand porn star name can you get with that? And that is pretty on brand.  So all right. So next up is Sasha Rose. Daniel, would you say Sasha Rose is romance author or porn star?  It pulls me very strongly. What knowledge is porn star? It's simply Sasha Gray, Tim. I don't know if you're familiar with the artist's work.  So for me, they're trying to class up the name. And this is to me, it's going to be a romance author. Personally, I think Sasha Rose will be a romance author. I'm going to ignore the Sasha Gray influence, who I believe is now moved on to more film related work. She's on Twitch, actually. Oh, good for her. And yeah, I'm going to securely say romance author. I might have said something about myself when I answered that too quickly. But Jackson. Actually, she's on Twitch, Twitch. Jackson, what do you say romance author or porn star? I just want to really quick point out like how pretentious it is of Daniel to like point out like such a like an author like that, you know, acting like. We all know her work, Daniel. OK. She's she's very good. And that's why I'm going to have to go. She gets a really deep. Yeah, she says porn star. No, I'm going to romance author. OK, romance author. So we got two romance author. Zoe, what do you think?  OK, Tim, what do you think? No, I'm definitely going porn star quite confidently. Tim's like after what was just said, I'm going to go with. No, no, no, I was genuinely thinking that this just is just I don't know, it's just vibing. It's just a porny vibe. They all have a porny vibe. That's me. You know, it's like this one is such a search. It's such a search for anything. I don't know. It could be both. All right. And funk. You're the last one. It's split evenly. What do you think romance author or porn star? Well, first, I'm going to tell you don't feel bad about answering that about Sasha Gray so quick because every night when I set up the stream, they keep recommending her to me.  And I'm like, wait a minute, who is that? Then I think about it and remember and I'm like, oh, wait, yeah, I don't want to go over there because that sounds scary. But I'm also getting very strong porn star vibes off of this. Like when I look at it, the rose is kind of like that that would be the easy way out. Like if I was if I was a romance author, I would call myself like Rosalyn or a rose of Sharon, something like that. But just rose, that's that's low hanging fruit for romance author.  All right.  I kind of think it should be a redhead. Daniel for something happened in my brain. I got a wire cross for some reason. I thought Sasha Gray wrote 50 Shades of Gray. And that's why I said that. I was wondering if you brought up an author. I was like, what is he talking about? I was you could you could consider the work of porn stars to be literary, you know, there are some times. Could it is art? It is art. I definitely look. I definitely read some erotica. The closet crosses into like just smutty erotica. No, well, let's I'm just going to stop talking. OK, probably for the best. All right. So next up, we have Chloe LeMore. Daniel, what do you think? Is Chloe LeMore an author or a porn star? This one's interesting to me, James. Chloe is inherently a white trash name, but LeMore just elevates it to like this French. What do you have against the Chloe? Yeah, that's what everyone in the audience. Let me guess some of your best friends are Chloe's. I've never been friends with Chloe in my life. Well, you actually Murphy Murphy's like middle name, isn't it? Well, she's from Kentucky, so I stay in my ground. Maybe the Chloe, so I'll agree with you. Yeah, there we go. And LeMore to me. I'm going to go with funk's logic in the last round, where it's trying to make like a last name. And that's why it's a romance author, I believe. OK, romance author. Jackson, what do you think romance author or porn star? The LeMore is making me think romance author because it's like the logic from before.  Like, I'm going to if they haven't done it, I'm going to do it. But Chloe, Daniel actually does make up a pretty good point about the name Chloe. I'm going romance author. I hope they capitalized on this on the typography. OK, we got two for romance author Zoe. If I see another one, it's like Times New Roman here, which we've seen a lot of, I'm going to be pissed. Well, someone whose name is very close to Chloe.  Sure, sure. It's OK. My niece's name is Zoe. It's fine. No. OK, true story. Most of the time, whenever I tell people my name, they're like, oh, my aunt has a dog named Zoe. It's always a dog for some reason, always a dog. Anyway, I have no deep seated feelings about that at all. So I think that I'm going to also go with romance author because I think if it were Chloe Love, then that's for sure a corn star name. But because she chose the like French angle, yeah, romance author. OK, Tim, we have three for romance author. What do you think? Yeah, I'm actually going to go against the grain here. Now, I was on the similar thought to Zoe here, which was that the word Lamor I think is meant to conjure up the sense of love and it's meant to channel the fact some people turn to porn as a replacement for a lack of love and key into that deep seated need for affection and approval that they can't find in other people.  And so I'm going to call it more as someone looking to fulfill the deep seated needs of our lost youth and lost generation. OK, I feel very attacked right now. But Funk, what do you think? Romance author porn star. So I'm kind of torn in the middle, because I'm looking at the last name, Lamor. So when I hear Lamor, I think of one other name and that is Louie Lamor, the American author. He writes cowboy novels and only cowboy novels. So I'm thinking like, OK, either they're a romance author and they write about cowboys on the range, finding love and unconventional ways for their important star. And they only do cowgirl and I can't decide. But right now I'm going to go with my heart because I want to read that cowboy novel because I want I want them to know there's love out on the plane. And I want to go with romance novels. There's a romance author for this one. OK, it sounds like everyone says romance author except for Tim and incorrect.  You know what? The cowboy hat. I OK, if you say so, I'm not an expert on this. Oh, well, I am an expert. That's why I'm the host. But you know what, Nicole Fox, what do you think, Daniel? Is Nicole Fox, the romance author or porn star? James, I couldn't come up with a more porn star name if I tried. I'm going to I'm going to put a full. I'm going to bet all my points, all of them on porn star. OK. Jackson, what do you think? Are we allowed to do that?  This isn't Final Jeopardy. You don't wager your points. I bet all my points on romance author. OK, he says romance author, Zoe.  Oh, goodness. I think that if there were more than one X, then it would be a porn star. But because there is a single X, it is a romance author. OK, so we got two romance author, one porn star, Tim. I feel like Zoe keeps on like stealing all my fun reasoning before I get to stay it. So but I will I will I will follow in Zoe, Zoe. These footsteps yet. OK, we got points. Are you betting, Tim? I'm a romance author. How many points? How many how many points are you betting? How many how many points, Tim? Sixty nine. Yeah, there we go. All right, thank you. The last one we got three for romance author, one for porn star. What do you think, James? How much how much was each round worth? I didn't know Tim had sixty nine points. It's one point each.   Yeah, let's see.  So I'm going to lean into romance author because I feel like it's the same energy where she's got like a little fox on her table and she looks at him and is like, all right, pause. Tell me if this is good that she reads it out loud. And if the fox has discussed the expression and she's like, yeah, I got to add more fluids. And then that's how she writes everything. So that's amazing. I'm not even seeing her anymore, right? Sadly, no, she chose a friend of hers who peeped on her in the shower over me. OK, well, maybe maybe you could introduce me at some point. And you know what? I'll gladly do it. Oh, all right. I feel like there's some deep seated trauma there, but we're going to move on. So Nicole Fox, most of you said romance author. I think Daniel's the only one that said porn star and Daniel, you are. Incorrect.  This is kind of scary.  Like, this is a dark, like I just. So like mafia. Have you ever watched the televangelist? That's the like mafia. Like, and now it's a romance store like a televangelist romance novel. Can you imagine that? Like, she needed healing, but he was the only one who could provide it for a small sum of three thousand dollars. I mean, it could fail. It could fail the passion building.  And for what it's worth, I live in Colorado Springs. That's basically the evangelical Christian capital of the United States.  Have you seen that? Have you seen that video?  Yes. Yeah, there we go. That's a light mafia story. OK, next up is Fiona Quinn. Now this one just to make it interesting, let's go in reverse order. So Funk, what do you think Fiona Quinn romance author or porn star? OK, so I'm looking at Fiona Quinn and I'm thinking here, looking at the name that she draws Shrek Hintai in her personal time, but she's a porn star by day. OK, he says porn star. Tim, what do you think? Oh, my only context of Fiona is Shrek. So I've got to go with this is a romance author, my bet. Fiona Quinn, it just, it sounds like romantic, but not too sexual, which is all the subtlety stuff that they're often going for. OK, we got one of each. Zoe, what do you think? I think that this is a porn star, but one of those like very sweet. Like she she plays innocent, you know, girl next door type. Like that's what she does. So porn star, OK, for sure. Two for porn star, one for romance author Jackson. Before Daniel tries to pull some BS, I just want to point out he can't gamble any more points because he has zero points because he gambled them all. So I just want to point that out before he tries to make some case, you know, because I know what I'm going to say, romance author. All right, romance author. So we got two and two. Daniel, you're the tiebreaker. What do you think romance author? I would like I would just like to ask a question real quick. OK.  Because their names don't really sound like romance authors. Oh, damn, really?  Dictorost. Yeah, pretty much Jack Harder. Yeah, exactly. They have names like Jack Harder. It's it's funny, but it's just doesn't sound like romance author. I'm going to go ahead and say this is a romance author. And I'm going to bet all of Jackson's points. All right, romance author. So it sounds like we have three of that and two for porn star. If you said romance author, guess what? You're correct. Hey, you did it. I give half of my I give half my points to Daniel. Thank you. Oh, wait, who said romance author? Is Daniel said it? And who else? I said a romance author. An inquest, romantic, suspense, mystery, thriller. What can we just take a second and talk about what this is? What? I what is this? Like that's the Taj Mahal. Isn't it down there in the bottom? Or is that the blue? God, it is. He's lost his name Sophia, actually. OK, I'm sorry. So I was talking about a white Anglo-Saxon Protestant traveling abroad. What is wasp? I don't know. Uncommon enemies and iniquity. Oh, oh, my goodness. Yeah, I don't know. Iniquice. Iniquice in Googling that word. It means unfair or unequal. An unfair, romantic, suspense, mystery, thriller. That sounds like four books at one time. She had four ideas and was like, I got enough for one book. OK, that's just that this is an amazing cover on like 67 different levels and also 67. Only what was the missing two? I don't really like the white covers. So half of it. Oh, yeah. I feel like romantic, suspense, mystery, thriller. The guys are sitting there like I'm in love with someone, but who? And then we find out at the end of the book, who did it? I would love it to just be like romantic, suspense, sci-fi, fantasy, mystery, action, thriller. Like just I mean, that probably is somewhere. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, the main character's name is Zoe. Oh, oh, that's cursed. I apologize. I apologize. What's the relevance of the Hagia Sophia? I'm I'm reading that's where they bone. I kind of hope not. I feel like they get in trouble for that. Zoe, Zoe Kielloa's work as a military scientist was supposed to change the way America hunted terrorists. It should not have made her a target, but it did. So this was written by a Republican. This is this is just a Ben Shapiro pen name. That's what this is. Yeah.  I can't. I can't. No, I can't do this. OK, Zoe goes home at night to her five foot three husband. Oh, man. All right, we got two questions remaining. So we have Isla Summer or Isla Summer. I'm not totally sure, but I'm going to go with Isla Summer. Daniel, what do you think romance author or porn star? James, I'm trying to feel this one, you know, please don't. Let me see your hand. One part of my body is telling me romance author, but another part altogether is telling me porn star. Winter is more of a romance author name than summer. Summer is more of a porn star name. I'm going to summer.  Yeah. OK, Jackson. What do you think porn star or romance author? Daniel really made a fantastic point there. Thank you.  But I want to be different romance author. OK, romance author. We got one in one, Zoe. I. I think that maybe she's trying to play off of the name recognition of Isla Fisher.  Maybe she looks kind of like Isla Fisher. All right, so we got a very good point. Thank you.  Tim, what do you think? Isla Fisher, that's such a specific person to be playing off. I really like both of these names. Like they're ones that I would want to call my daughter.  OK, so we have three for porn star, one for romance author. Funk, what do you think? Tim, never let your daughter watch this video.  I don't have a daughter, by the way. I don't have a daughter. Daniel got me thinking about this, about winter being a more appropriate romance author name because in wintertime you want to cuddle up, be warm, be intimate with somebody. But summer, everybody's hot, sweaty and half naked.    Thank you, Funk. And corrects. And OK, before anyone asks, it was impossible to find an appropriate photo of her that I could put on YouTube. So I was like, OK, whatever, just put George Bush over the unpleasant bit there. Somehow it's a little I would call that the most pleasant bit. Well, you know what, Daniel? You got the question right, so don't get too upset. It her bra is really pretty. You should not have covered it up. I really like the pattern. It's cute. Oh, I can just say this, I think. I don't think we have to monetize. She had holes cut where her nipples were. So. So you mean she went and ruined that perfectly? Yeah, but. That pattern. All right, final question. Glue on my fingers. We have Joanna Angel and we'll go reverse order again. Funk, what do you think? Joanna Angel, romance author or porn star? I it might be a fever dream. I'm not sure, but I swear to God, I've seen this one like in the young adult section as you walk by. And I feel like if I don't say romance author, I'm letting down like all these kids are looking at this and be like, one day I'm going to read that adult book. So I'm going to say romance author. OK, Tim. Again, Joanna, I feel like it's that generation slightly above us that writes a bit more of this. So I've got to go Joanna Angel, romance author. OK, Zoe. Yeah, I agree. Joanna is a very older, maybe British romance author sort of name. All right. So we got three for romance author, Jackson. And you're feeling strongly about this. But all my points on romance author, romance author. We got four for romance author. Daniel, what do you think? Final question. All my points on porn star.  Are you kidding me if you do it after the Victoria's Secret Angels?   That's yeah, that's it. All right. It's final question. So drum roll. Most of you said romance author and you're all correct. It's a trick question. She is exactly how I thought she would. That's amazing. Yeah. Shit. Look at her. Oh, it's right next to the Bibles. That's incredible. That's amazing. I'm pretty sure that was by design. I'm proud of her. So all in all, if you work as a team, you got 11 out of 15, which is a D plus, I'd say that's pretty good. But looking at points, we have Daniel with 14 or sorry, Daniel with nine points. We have Jackson with seven points. Tim has 12, Zoe has 10 and Funk has 11. So it looks like Tim is the winner with 10 points.  Victory, victory. Thank you, master of porn. I am. I am. I am. You might call me the master.  Please comment on his videos, all of your questions. He will answer them. What is it? What does he win by? Yeah, no, absolutely. Yeah, no, fine. That's fine. You can comment porn expert on all of my videos. You can find me at Daniel Green. You can look at me on YouTube and you'll just find me there. Look up for fantasy news coming every single week. It's a great time. All right. OK, Daniel, what is the Albanian astronaut? Thank you, love, Funk. All right.  So congrats. Oh, so great. Just watch my parents love. Oh, wait, Daniel's grabbing something. What's he grabbing? Brand new MacBook Pro. If you'd like it, you just have to come to the U.S. and claim it. I am actually going to be coming to the U.S. in the next couple of years. So hold on to that and I will take a couple of years. I don't know. I don't know. I want to come to the U.S. And I want to see everyone because no one lives in New Zealand. Oh, address the place you want to stay at and the times you'll be there to sleep. Let me just check my Instagram messages. All right, all right. So that was great game. Anybody want just say goodbye, self-promote yourself. Any channels, YouTube, Twitter, whatever that you want, I'm Murphy Napier. You can find me. I highly recommend you comment. Any thoughts you had on the things I said here on my most recent video and thank you for having me. Well, I'll say thank you for having me because I think I'm the smallest person here. So thank you for having me. I'm funk shower everywhere. I'm also an adult artist. So, you know what?  I'll do my best to answer because I'm also lonely. So Jackson, promote your company. You're capitalist. Why?  If you want to write a book, you can't fire, but you can't post your smut on explore. I'm sorry. And no, nobody else. OK, I mean, I do. Should I? I don't know. I don't know. If you want to, you can. Sure. And I'm Zoe B. You can find me at Zoe B here on YouTube. I make video essays. Only some of them are about books. Zoe B. Yes. Yeah. Goodbye. Be like the insect, not the letter. A huge thanks to everyone who bothered to watch this far for whatever reason, I don't know who would want to listen to me talk for half an hour, but especially a huge thanks to all my patrons whose names are on here, including the $10 and up patrons, Oppo Savilane and Olivia Ray and Brother Santotis, Buffy Valentine, Carolina Clay, Christopher Quinton, Dan and Celio Vich, Echo Joel, Carcat Kitsune, Liza Rudikova, Lord Tiebreaker, Madison Lewis Bennett, Marilyn Roxy, microphone, Sad Martigan, Tobacco Crow, Tom Beanie, and of course, as always, Vaveictus. Y'all are the best really. Let me let me tell you that. Like if you were here, I I'd kiss you.  Yeah, goodbye.


Hey, what's going on guys, Patriot Prime here once again with another Generation 1 Transformers review. Now, within my Facebook groups for the last few days, the subject of pretenders keeps popping up. Now, love them or hate them, pretenders were a big part of the transformers in the late 80s and are actually some of my favorite figures. I have the entire Pretender Decepticon line from the American Generation 1 release. And the Pretender I'm going to review today is 1988's Iguanas. I love this Pretender toy. He looks so cool. Of course, I'm a big reptile fan. I have a pet bearded dragon downstairs that you've seen in my Outback video. But this guy is really cool and he's a little bit different than some of the other pretenders. Now, Iguanas did not feature at all in animation, but he did appear in Marvel Comics. First appearing in issue 40 with the rest of the pretenders as he's created thanks to Scorponok and Mindwipe's new Pretender technology. He didn't really come into his own until issue number 45 where he actually led a team of Decepticons to New York to plant an energy harnessing device. So Iguanas ended up, as the story went along, Iguanas was climbing to the top of the Empire State Building to plant the energy harvester. He was fighting the Micro-Master Off-Road Patrol and Race Car Patrol. Iguanas ended up getting struck by lightning while he was holding the energy collecting device. So that was pretty much it for him in the comics. He appeared briefly in some background scenes, but that's all it was. So enough of the history of Iguanas, let's take a look at the toy. And welcome to Patriot Prime Reviews. Iguanas's Pretender shell is that of a humanoid lizard man. And he looks fantastic. I love this figure. He looks so great. He's got some fantastic paint applications for a pretender.  And this molded detail goes all the way around on the back with more scales, the fins and molded details on his tail. It even goes as far as having the different type of scales on the bottom of the tail. And that tail can rotate. So that's pretty cool. The painted details also, which is a rarity of larger pretenders, carry over onto his backside with the continuation of the leg guards. So that's pretty cool. Now as far as articulation goes, Iguanas is a pretender. So aside from the moving tail on the back, his arms can do a complete 360, both the right and the left. Iguanas does come with three accessories. He has this little blaster here, his belt, and this melee weapon, which looks kind of weird, but it comes more into play for the inner robot. Now to release the inner robot from the shell, unlike the other larger pretenders, you don't have to remove Iguanas's belt. The belt on the larger versions usually hold both halves together. This one on Iguanas is just for decoration. So all you're going to do, grip the back, grip the arms and pop the shell in half, releasing the inner robot from inside. Once you have the inner robot out, simply swing the arms forward and put the feet in position, and there is Iguanas's inner robot mode. This is a little lanky, skinny Decepticon with a pretty big noggin.  So he can do that. The inner robot can also wield the small blaster from the Iguanas shell. Just peg in the smaller tab, and now he's armed and ready for battle. And that's pretty much it for Iguanas's inner bot mode. Now let's get him transformed into vehicle mode. Being a pretender, vehicle mode is fairly simple. Remove the weapon, you're going to swing the arms up and fold them back like so. Take the toes, point forward, and rotate the legs all the way around. So now you have this. Now the melee weapon from earlier comes into play. You simply peg this into the bottom hole, and that's supposed to be wheels showing that Iguanas is some type of futuristic motorcycle. Oh yeah, you can take the gun here and place on top, which makes him kind of top heavy. But yeah, there you go. There's your Cybertronian motorcycle, and that is a lame motorcycle. There is a lot of imagination used for this vehicle. I guess you could also take the weapon off and face it forward for kind of an attack mode, but that does not improve the looks of the motorcycle at all. Now vehicle mode does sport a few molded-in details that look kind of nice. You've got the windscreen up here on top that's painted white. Let's remove the weapon. You've got the gas cap there on top, and molded seats. But still, this is a lame motorcycle. You know, it's all about the Cybertronian mode. So that's it for Iguanas in motorcycle mode. And now for some size comparison, here is Generation 1 Iguanas. Next to Generation 1 Optimus Prime and Siege Megatron. 1988's Pretender Iguanas is a cool-looking toy, and he looks great on your shelf. Now I tweaked mine a little bit different for display. I gave mine an extra Predacon sword, because I think that looks so much better than the wheels that he wheels in his shell mode. And I gave the wheels to the robot mode. I plugged those into the back to give him a little bit more of a broad look to take away from the really skinny, lanky robot mode. Now my robot mode may look a little bit different than others, because when I got Iguanas, he was plain. He had no stickers whatsoever, so I used some Reprolabel scraps to add some color to the figure. So there you go guys, there is 1988's Generation 1 Pretender Iguanas. So does a Generation 1 Iguanas belong in your collection? I love the toy, but this is one for the hardcore collectors or Pretender fans, because he is going to cost you some money. This is one of the most expensive Pretenders out there. Don't really know why, but he is. I mean you've got to look for the three accessories, and some of them come with a missing tail. And trying to piece those all together can be very costly. So I love the guy, but he's not really recommended for everyone. So guys I want to thank you for stopping by and checking out my video. Don't forget to like and don't forget to subscribe and hit that bell icon so you're notified when I upload new videos. I try to do one to two per week, all depends on my schedule. And check out my series, The Sit Rep, where I sit down and interview other Transformers YouTubers. I mean, I've had a blast with this series, and I've really got to meet some great people, and I invite you to check them out so you can meet them as well. And I'm also really excited. I've got my TF Con jar all set up, so I've got my room booked. I am so ready for TF Con in October in Reston, Virginia. Guys, this is a Patriot Prime, signing out. Who are? Hey, I really appreciate you guys stopping by my channel. Don't forget to like and don't forget to subscribe. Also check out some of my other videos that I've done on Generation 1 Transformers, Modern Era Transformers, and Toy Hacks Repro Label 6. Once again, this is Patriot Prime. Who are?


Vaccination is the administration of antigenic material or vaccine to stimulate an individual's immune system to develop adaptive immunity to a pathogen. Vaccines can prevent or ameliorate infectious disease. When a sufficiently large percentage of a population has been vaccinated, herd immunity results. The effectiveness of vaccination has been widely studied and verified.1-3 vaccination Vaccination is the most effective method of preventing infectious diseases or widespread immunity due to vaccination is largely responsible for the worldwide eradication of smallpox and the elimination of diseases such as polio, measles, and tetanus from much of the world. Smallpox was most likely the first disease people tried to prevent by inoculation 5-6 and was the first disease for which the vaccine was produced. The smallpox vaccine was invented in 1796 by English physician Edward Jenner and although at least six people had used the same principles years earlier, he was the first to publish evidence that it was effective and to provide advice on its production.7-6 Lewis Pasteur furthered the concept through his work in microbiology. The immunization was called vaccination because it was derived from a virus affecting cows Latin, vacacout.57 Smallpox was a contagious and deadly disease, causing the deaths of 20-60% of infected adults and over 80% of infected children.8 When smallpox was finally eradicated in 1979, it had already killed an estimated 300500 million people 9-10-11 in the 20th century. In common speech, vaccination and immunization have a similar meaning. This distinguishes it from inoculation, which uses unweakened lived pathogens, although in common usage either can refer to an immunization. Vaccination efforts have been met with some controversy on scientific, ethical, political, medical safety, and religious grounds. In rare cases, vaccinations can injure people.12 in the United States. People may receive compensation for those injuries under the National Vaccine Injury Compensation Program. Early success brought widespread acceptance, and mass vaccination campaigns have greatly reduced the incidence of many diseases in numerous geographic regions.