Okay, so well, first of all, I'd like to thanks to thank the organizers for, you know, despite all the odds, managing to put up the conference so thanks for hosting us in all these different fashions. Okay, so, as Emanuel said, I'm presenting work done in collaboration with Andrea Braccialli from the University of Stirling and Ronald Dehan from the University of Amsterdam. Okay, so the focus of the paper is on essentially this sort of consensus model that is used by blockchains like by system like Ripple and Stellar. So these are systems that have been quite influential. I think in terms of market capitalization, if I'm not wrong, Ripple is the fourth and Stellar the 70th largest blockchain company. So they had quite some influence. But on the other hand, they had received relatively little attention from, you know, academic from the academic circles. And also there are some strong criticism about such system because effectively, even though they, well, they present themselves as somewhat somewhat open blockchain system that in fact running as per permission systems at the moment. On the other hand, they are very clear about the ultimate goal in kind of managing to lift their approach to a real permission less setting. So we focused on them, because we thought there were some interesting theoretical questions behind the sort of consensus model they use, and furthermore, sort of considered that type of consensus model is particularly interesting to be investigated by using economic theory tools. So the questions I'm basically the question where we try to address in the paper. So this is consistent and understanding the inherent limitation or if you will, we should extend to which decentralization. So a permission less approach to consensus is possible in that in the consensus model followed by systems like Ripple and Stella. And the underlying model that they use is what is sometimes called a peer to peer trust network. There are several, there are several terminology going around, but the key idea is that the nodes in the system kind of designate, ideally in an autonomous fashion, which other nodes in the system they trust. You can think really of a picture like this, where any every node designates which other nodes is actually listening to and trusting. So this is the kind of main strategy that these systems systems like Ripple and Stella use to achieve some level of civil proofness. Okay, it's the really peer to peer trust network paradigm. So they select every node designates which other nodes to trust, and at the same time, it designates a quota or a threshold, which has to be met among the nodes trust for its own opinion to be determined. So you can think of if a quarter of trusted nodes agree on a value, for instance, so in my talk I will actually use just binary values for simplicity. If a quarter of trusty nodes agree on whether to record the transaction or not then the node that it's listening to those nodes, settles its value on that agreed value. So that's the idea say of validation. Now the question in this, in the setting is what consists of essentially means all honest nodes agreeing in a stable fashion through the trust network they built. So, let's move net then to an abstraction, which we called bits and time trust networks, BTN so this is directly in really following fairly closely, for instance, the sort of mathematical structure that one would find also in the stellar white paper for instance. So we have a set of nodes. We have the set of honest nodes, and then for every member of a H or capital H so for every hopeless node we assign. We have a trust set so it's the subset of nodes that is, it's trusted by I. So for every honest node high. We determine we the bits and time trust network determines a quota. Okay, that's the quote I was mentioned in the previous slides is what would determine the node for to validate precise value. The quota we use here are above 0.75, which is what we, well, what for instance we observe in repo look at repo sets that quota quota to 0.8. So we try to provide a slightly more general analysis. There is a good reason for setting a quota, which is not lower by 0.25 but I will not get to all the details in the talk. So abstractly you can think of nodes making binary decision so should a transaction be included or not in the ledger. And they do that under the influence of the nodes they trust. So if enough trusted nodes have opinion X then that opinion X is validated by the node. Of course, a bit sometime nodes can reveal any opinion to any honest node. So this time. That's how we, we think here of this entire notes so honest notes basically hold a binary opinion, if you wish. This opinion is influenced by the nodes they trust. And bits and time nodes can reveal any opinion to every to any node. Of course listens listens to them. Okay, now I make a shift from that this kind of distributed computing sort of structure to a very similar structure that has been studied in economic theory which goes under the name of command games. So in a command game is very similar structure. Well, apart from the bits and time nodes, but if you put them there in the, in the structure then what we get is something very close to command to BTM to be some time trust that so we have a set of nodes, capital N with a set of honest nodes capital H. We have a set of trusted notes, and then we have this calligraphic C, which essentially is just in the command games literature it would be defined simply as a set of players or set of nodes in this case that if they agree, they can determine my opinion. Okay, so it's terminology from from from that literature from game theory would be the set of winning coalitions for agent or for node I. Of course in the, in this case, what is a winning coalition so what is the coalition that can determine my opinion is just given by the size of that coalition. So the set of matrix C is the set of of nodes, which a set of nodes in among the ones that I trust that have a size that meets the quota of agent I know die. Okay, okay, so in again in game theory terminology that essentially means a command game is simply a set of players or nodes. And to each such player I assign a simple game. So a set of winning coalitions. And this theory was developed by who and sharply in the early 2000s. Okay, so we'll be using this, these structures as a bridge to use ideas from that literature that could. In fact, you can shed some light on on the working of those system like like ripple and stellar. In fact, what I call here command game is pretty much something that you literally would find also in the stellar white paper as referred to refer to as a federated Byzantine agreement systems or FBA yes. It's the same really mathematical structure. Okay, so now let me move to the idea of safety in Byzantine trust networks. So you can think of a fork here simply as being modeled as the situation which to honest notes validate opposite values. So to honest notes, have access to a set of trusted notes, set of notes that trusted by them, that is a size large enough to convince them of opposite values. So we can say that BTN then is safe if such situation doesn't cannot occur. Okay, you can think of then just the picture of a forked BTN would be like this. Okay, so we have two nodes they listen to different sets that there are some which are sufficient to convince them of different values. Okay, of course, interestingly this this notion is really a kind of quite general abstract it's it's protocol independent so I haven't talked yet about how precisely the because this product would be run on this network so it's this notion of safety is proper really of the if you wish the infrastructure of the of the trust network. Okay, then a quest natural question arises all about the necessary structural conditions that can ensure safety. Okay, so that's what I'm moving to now. And this is, of course, directly related to the level of decentralization that can be admitted in such a system. So here I will give you a go very quickly to some theorems that we discuss in the paper. In this theorem, we say, okay, in a uniform BTN so uniform BTN is a bit of an interest network where every quota is the same. Okay, so if we fix for everybody, a quote of that, of in the range given here's a 7508 safety actually can be shown to imply the existence of notes that are trusted by all honest nodes. So in a sense, we can prove that if we under the assumption that everybody uses the same quotas in that given range, then effectively we are requiring the existence of nodes that are trusted by all all honest nodes. And it's an important to notice is that's actually a set of that applies directly to ripple. So in a sense, and in a sense this really tells us gives us a theoretical justification for why ripple is actually working. And as it is doing currently, as far as I know, by means of indeed a set of central set of notes that that then run consensus for the whole for the whole system. So it's a centralized permissioned setup. And well, this is in the bullets you see a kind of a sketch of how the reasoning goes here so we can show that safety implies that any two trust sets should overlap for that fraction one minus q or q is the quota over q of the or their combined size and all pairs of trust set overlap for at least one fourth of their combined size then their intersection should be not empty. So that's essentially how the other reason goes behind these results. So taking a negative kind of perspective you may say that well if this is the setup then fully decentralized consensus is actually not really possible in this setting. And with fully decentralized consensus I really mean full freedom for the nodes to determine who to trust. And as I said, that's not the case for for ripple where everybody now has to link to to select the trust in notes between a specified set provided by ripple itself. Okay, so what happens if we lift known if we lift the uniformity so if we really allow everybody to kind of set their own quotas. So that's the case for instance for stellar. So stellar in principle gives more freedom to know that in fact it stemmed out of the initial ripple proposition. A simple observation we can immediately make is that the next necessary condition for safety in that's in that setting is that I need to self sufficient and I will explain what that means in a moment set of nodes should intersect. So a sufficient set of nodes is what are called the core in stellar, and you can think of them as this so in the picture here in the bottom right of the slide. Well that that can be thought of as a quorum so a quorum is a set of nodes that contains winning coalition for every member of the know of the set. It's kind of set that if it agrees it can agree stably in in validating value for the chain. So what we show in the paper is that. Well of course so if we if we look at this core so this kind of self sufficient set of nodes for the determination of agreement. If we have quora that don't intersect we can easily create forks in the system so a necessary condition for the absence of forks is that quora always intersect. So that always the intersection of to quora always contain is always non empty. Okay, so that's a see that's a condition that was clearly stated in. Starting from the white paper, and it is a condition in a sense, it can be thought of being problematic in several ways but where we tried to put our finger on is the intractability of determining whether, given a Byzantine trust network. We can check whether the quorum intersection property holds. Okay, so for an intersection here and the statement of this theorem means, okay, it's a decision problem in which I give you a Byzantine trust network and I ask you can you check whether whether there are any quora in the in the system that don't intersect. So, why is this an interesting problem because if if we want the system to be safe. Any individual decision by the nodes to select who they want to trust should somehow guarantee quorum intersection. So, in other words, we are putting on the nodes, a requirement to guarantee a kind of global safety property of the network. And our result shows that in fact this decision problem is competition. So it's going to be complete so it's in principle intractable that of course doesn't mean that it's not feasible in practice. It just just says that it is. It is potentially a stumbling block in the pathway to to provide full decentralization to the system. And the last part of my talk I want to talk about the problem of influence. Okay, so we looked at the problem with decentralization from the point of view of, well, for instance, but possible existence of nodes that have to be trusted by all nodes in order to guarantee safety we looked at the problem of guarantee necessary condition for for safety as being intractable computational problems. Now I want to look at what kind of kind of show you how one can understand influence or power in systems like people in Stella. So, this is kind of a understanding influence in this type of blockchain is in a sense trickier than what happens in proof of work or proof of stake block chain where you can say you can think okay the influence of a node in a system in proof of stake roughly is the share of computational power the system, the node invest in the system. And a similar reason you can make for proof of stake. It is aware and clear how to quantify influence on the on the blockchain in systems based on this and time trust networks, Larry Paul and stellar. In the paper we make a proposal with make a proposal on how influence could be understanding such systems, which builds on the idea of command game that I gave you at the beginning. As I showed okay we had in the show you with theorem one, we had that safety in uniform BTN implies the existence of all trusted nodes. So, but what does it mean concretely, okay in terms of the influence that such nodes can have on on consensus values. And this is harder to be determined as in proof of work or proof of stake. So, let's have a look at, again, BTNs and the structure I gave you earlier here phrased as a command game. So this capital L capitals calligraphic C. As I said, can be thought of what in game theory is called a simple game. So it's a set of nodes with a set of winning coalitions. The idea is that those winning collisions are collisions that can determine the value of I so they can determine the value that I validate in the system. So in terms of those as games we can apply what are called in the in theory of single simple games or theory of voting as well power indices. So here in this case I just quickly give you an example of what is called Penrose band of index, which essentially counts the number of times in which each node is pivotal in determining the value of I. So the frequency of in which I on its own can so J on its own can determine the value of I. So now that the details are not so important. But what we can get to is that by using power indices like bands of but there are many others. We can in fact construct what's called an influence matrix, which is a stochastic matrix in this case so the idea of this matrix is if the way in which you can read an entry I for instance I 21 in such a matrix, it tells I 21 gives me the power of agent or node one with respect to a node two. So not one will be trusted by two and we'll have a certain influence in determining the value that to can validate in the system. So this the rows in the in such a matrix will essentially describe how the influence it for the agent or the node in the row is distributed over all the other nodes in the system and it will sum up to one. Now, such such a matrix then describes the kind of direct influence that the nodes that I trust has on on itself. Now what we would be interested in is understanding. So, moving from this simple kind of picture that is given directly by the BTN interpreted as a command game to move from there to an understanding of what is if you wish the long range influence in the system because of course, if I'm if a node J is trusted by I and in turn J trust a node K, this K will have an indirect influence on I. So to capture this idea, we can simply take the limit of such a stochastic matrix, of course when it exists that limits does not always exist. In the situation in which it exists, I can take such a limit to understand the kind of long range influence that every node has on every other node. So, taking this this this idea we can determine that if we take if we consider a safe BTN if we consider a safe Byzantine network so a Byzantine trust network that does not allow for for forking such influence matrix will have a certain property which is called the regularity and which essentially means that it is a matrix in which such a long range limit influence exists. And furthermore that we can we can also say that it is fully regular if there exists at most one Byzantine node where full regularity means that not only that the limit exists but that all rows in the network are identity all rows in the matrix are identical, which intuitively means that every agent so every node in the network is subject to the same pattern of influence by all other nodes. So what does this theorem tells us in practice. So, essentially, it gives us these two messages with respect to this entire network in the case of ripple and stellar. So if we have a situation which there is no Byzantine node. Okay, so H capital H equals and then this we know by theorem one that I should exist still nodes that are trusted by everybody. That's implied by safety. And well, the theorem then also tells us that decent old trusted nodes are the only ones in the system that have positive long range influence or the only ones that can determine the value of consensus. If they, if there are Byzantine nodes, then actually those Byzantine nodes are the only ones that have long range positive influence. And this by a simple artifact because of course Byzantine nodes are not influenced by any other nodes so they are the kind of nodes where the entries in the matrix would for equal the in the diagonal of the matrix would be one. Okay, so they are only influenced by themselves. And as such they are the only ones that can have a long range influence. Okay, so I'll just give a quick So what we tried to provide here was an analysis of inherent to like theoretical limitations of consensus that is based on the trust network paradigm or open quarry system. And we looked in particular the problem decentralization so the extent to which such a model consensus could be decentralized. We looked at the at an attempt to give a put a number on the influence of players or nodes in such systems to understand what effect nodes have what power they have in determining consensus. And of course, this is preaching to the converted but I tried to also show how an economic theory toolbox. The ideas from command games and from power indices can be used for the analysis of systems of this type. Okay, and I conclude here. Thank you.


Just to release a video today Vasily yeah deadlifts 760. Yeah, I think so And people want to know why he isn't snapping his biceps when he does like that One he's strong to snapping something's you know kind of genetic three. He's literally world-class He's the best one of the best weight lifters in the entire planet He's got a lot of muscle his best pull. I think he said was 780 But I assume it was just as fast as that based off that speed Probably has 800 in them pretty good.  He's jacked. He's jacked is the answer, right? Anything can happen. Sure. Hopefully it doesn't I think he was wrapped his knees There's a comment on that also one. I think because he's a weight lifter and he's used to it Too, I think he had some quad issues. Maybe micro tears or real tears.  Excuse me. I did say that he went to the Olympics I don't think he did but I believe he went to worlds multiple time point being he's an international level Weightlifter very very high the top level weightlifter and how he pulls is Specific to his sport. So this is 760 obviously their goal is to build general strength for their Lifts by squatting front squatting pulling you can see a little bit rounded back You could see pride not as much tension in the hamstrings or glutes as I would like to see as a Powerlifter, but again, that is not his goal. His goal is to get his quads involved and as a weightlifter the little bit I've learned from watching over the years. I am a fan of weightlifting and also from Doing it myself for those six months that I did last year is that when you're pulling the main difference Is obviously the tension isn't as important where I always talk about if you have tension in your hamstrings and glutes Wait behind the barbell that when you pull your knees and hips will move simultaneous your hips will begin moving upwards right away, they'll hinge with your knees and If that's not the case you don't have tension your hamstrings and glutes and your body weights over the bar your knees Lock out first your hips shoot up too early And then your body weight throws yourself in front of the bar on a deadlift Which is maximal effort the most amount of weight one can lift you will get tipped forward to miss that Wait, you'll miss that load whereas every weightlifter when they're going for a clean. It is less poundage less weight than they can actually pull or deadlift So when you're cleaning You're trying to get that bar path You're getting your knees out of the way your body weights purposely in front of the bar So then you can triple extend which means locking your knees hips and ankles to get momentum to jump With the barbell in your hand and then recover to get underneath the barbell in the snatch and clean So those are the main differences where he doesn't really care where he sits. He's building his pole to clean He's not building his deadlift. He's not building his hamstrings. He's not building his back necessarily in that movement He's trying to pull on heavier and heavier weights so that his clean gets better a facility his first pole And also that he's more comfortable with those heavier weights in his hand just finishing up the workout myself I've talked to you guys a little bit about programming right now It is based on the Kaizen off-season Infinite off-season which is a free program all my programming and coaching and all that is always in the link below Kaizen training comm if you're interested because I still get constant questions if I do coaching I don't do one-on-one But I have many free templates if you want to check them out and because I know myself so well and because I feel very Comfortable with programming in general. I've adapted what I've made a template for all of you To help myself Get to where I want to go during this aggressive cut if you follow me on Instagram You'll know I am in an aggressive cut right now I'm trying not to worry about the pounds that I lift as I'm still kind of recovering from the back And I can't handle the volume I want so I'm purely trying to drop down to about 200 pounds or below Feel as good as I can as lean as I can mentally and physically not only with the back But again diet-wise so this would be basically day two in my infinite off-season, which is mostly an upper-body day I'm doing lunges one because I want more volume for my legs because I can't squat and deadlift the volume I want right now with my back and then number two Because lunges are a unilateral movement is something that I've done on and off throughout my entire career. I Don't think necessarily they help my squat Which is what people are always asking but for me personally it is something that allows me to stay healthy that you know a lateral movement Or the lunge itself stretches your back hip flexor a little bit It uses my glutes and hands and it also works some stability factors where that one front leg is Handling a lot of the load by itself for a while And you'll have to stabilize it through your hip and your knee To stay obviously having your knees traction and not just fall over Whereas if all you do is squat and all I do is work or sit on a desk I've gained imbalances especially there, but in the sumo pole as well. So I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can I'm on the third week of a more aggressive cut So follow me sell a mic with two K's on Instagram. I appreciate all your guys's support And I will see you guys in the next video head down chin up be sure to subscribe smash the thumbs up Appreciate you guys


that big bang happened everything exploded from a single point so when you expand from a single point what shape do you get? you get a sphere right you know if you start from the point and you expand in all directions you get a sphere so that's why you see in the universe everything's a sphere the sun is a sphere the universe is a sphere planets are spheres now what is the opposite of that if that is the let's say the positive what is the negative part of that well he figured out that it is actually a 64 tetrahedron a tetrahedron is basically like you get a triangle and then you make a three-dimensional shape from a triangle and you add a whole bunch of them together so it's basically a giant crystal but it's all equal in a made of triangles so that is actually the hidden inner structure of reality so the inner structure of reality is basically like a crystal and the outer structure reality is like a sphere


and get a bad rap in the dating, mating and relating realm for a very good reason. Because the reality is, is whether you're a man or woman, we are dealing with a population in the dating marketplace with a lot of dysfunctional people. What I mean to say is a lot of emotionally wounded people who have terrible relationship skills and probably weak emotional maturity. So it's no wonder it's a absolute mess out there from a dating, mating, dating, mating and relating perspective. So oftentimes what is actually happening is wounded people are bumping heads against each other, against each other, with each other, excuse me. And they find themselves in unfulfilled relationships, relationships that go nowhere, where there's ghosting, there's disappearing or even manipulation. Now here's the thing. I genuinely believe most men are good people. They're just bad daters. And yet there are men who have clinical issues. There's no doubt about that. And while I say anecdotally that roughly 20% of men have clinical issues, whether they're narcissists, whether they're sociopaths, whether, by the way, men and women I should say have clinical issues, whether they're bipolar, they're borderline passive aggressive. You name your DSM. There's probably a fair percentage of people. Again, I'm making this up. And while we'd all like to think that we're emotionally healthy to be in relationship, I will tell you that there's a vast majority of people that do believe that. I think some of those people are rather delusional. I'm gonna raise my hand as well because I have issues. Okay, I am no picnic when it comes to relationship. I have abandonment issues. I have trust issues. I have the whole laundry list. Now thankfully I've done some personal development, self-help and spiritual work to be aware of my issues. And yet I believe roughly 60% of the balance of the population are rather dysfunctional, meaning that they have weak emotional maturity and weak relationship skills. Now here's the thing. You ladies can all point the finger at men, but just remember there's three fingers pointing back at yourself. Women are no picnic as well.  Yes, that's right. There are women who don't value their own worth. This is one of the reasons why I continually recommend the book, Why Men Love Bitches, Why Men Love Bitches. This is a great, by the way, Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself, yes. And why I recommend this book is it's an empowerment book. By the way, all the books I recommend are listed in the description below under Jonathan recommends books. Why I recommend this book if you're one of those women who find yourself giving into manipulative men, I'm here to encourage you to take your power back because ladies, you are in charge of your relationship, Destiny, and I know while many of you would prefer to have the men, the leaders of the process, and all you have to do is sit in your feminine energy because naturally just being in your feminine energy is gonna magically work out. How is that gonna work out with the vast majority of dysfunctional human beings out there?  This is why I continually recommend the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a deep dive to healing those wounds. So when you find yourself with one of those men who might be manipulative, you don't give your power away. And sadly, I witness women giving their power away. Why do you think I talk to women more so than men? Because you have a propensity because I don't know if this is biological or instinctual, but literally, and I don't know if it's because for the majority of male-female dynamics that women were always dependent upon men throughout Neanderthal days and probably up until 50 years ago. I just wonder if it's instinctual from that perspective. Listen, it's a clusterfuck out there from a dating perspective. What I mean to say is, listen, we no longer live in tribes, we no longer live in villages where we know the person whom we are probably going to be mated with. These days we're meeting for most likely total strangers. And if you don't really recognize, if you, listen, you can be naive, but naive is setting yourself up for failure. This is why if you follow my channel, I recommend a plethora of books to actually shore up your own emotional maturity and more importantly, your ability to actually be emotionally intimate in relationship. And ladies, just because you have a capacity to vomit your feelings doesn't mean you're any better at articulating your feelings. This is why I continually recommend reading the two books in particular, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. I highly recommend checking that out. Also this book, I hear you. The surprisingly simple skills to extraordinary relationships because this is gonna set you up. All of the books I recommend are gonna set you up to how to deal with that person who might be manipulative. So we're gonna lean into this conversation and I've got my trusty notes, okay? And listen, I've got six ways men try to manipulate you. Look, there's probably 15 different ways. There could be 30 different ways. I just went on the internet and I started to do a little bit of research based on my own experience. I wanted to update myself in this content because sadly, listen, I said earlier, I think most men are good guys, they're just bad daters, but I also do believe that there are really a lot of unconscious, selfish human beings right now out in the dating marketplace. I mean, I don't know if it's social media that's created this, I don't know if it's, I just don't understand why it's gotten to be so different. If you're a baby boomer or Gen Xer, like most of my circle of friends, the tail end baby boomers or Gen Xers, we grew up in a whole different environment. And I'm here to say that it requires a lot more knowledge and expertise to understand the mating process if you ever want to find yourself in relationship success.  Number one, they guilt trip you or worse, they gaslight you. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where a guy has tried to guilt trip you or worse, turn something around to make you doubt yourself? That is a, listen, okay, I'll be candid with you.  Folks, if you follow me, you know, I've always believed in transparency. I've shared the experience of losing my child publicly. I've shared my life. I've shared my child publicly. I've shared my past dating experiences. So why would it be any different that I don't share my personal relationship right now? I shared from a place of wanting to give some perspective because even though I'm a dating a relationship coach, I'm not immune to the dysfunctionality out there because, and I just happen to be more aware than most people. So occasionally I guilt trip her every once in a while and I don't wanna share what she said in the beginning of our dating process, but she said something that kind of triggered me. And every once in a while, I throw it back at her. Now I do it in jest and I do it in fun, okay? And we laugh about it. But what if it's not in jest? What if it's not in fun? It's actually meant to needle you. Now I think people do this because they feel insecure. I think guilt trips are coming from their own individual insecurity or gas lighting. For example, listen, sometimes, listen, I've had situations where people have, for lack of better, accused me of something. I'll use that, that. And I completely denied it and I gave a different perspective on it. That's not gaslighting.  This isn't a one-time or two-time thing. This is a repetition's thing where someone continually tries to guilt trip you or they try to undermine your sense of reality. That's what gaslighting is. That's certainly a clear sign someone's trying to manipulate you. And I would highly recommend, if that's happening, run! Forest, run! Okay, number two. They don't help you resolve problems in your life. What I mean to say is, we all have situations where we could use help. When someone is selfish, they only focus on wanting you to help their needs, but they aren't genuinely teamwork oriented. Teamwork oriented. When you're teamwork oriented, you wanna help your partner out in the problems in their life. I know, even with my girlfriend, she was sharing with me something personal about one of her children and I offered to help. That's what a good partner does. That's what a good boyfriend or girlfriend does. They actually wanna help you in your life. And if they continually avoid your problems, dismissing your problems, that's a sign it's all about them and chances are they only wanna use you for their needs and not actually support you in your needs, okay? Number three. I kinda said this before in the gaslighting, but they undermine your confidence or force you to get out of your comfort zone. Well, okay. Now, when I think of foreshadow comfort zone, we men might push boundaries, especially when it comes to sexuality to get you outside of your comfort zone. I'm not so sure that's so bad. I'm not saying it's good. I'm just not so sure it's that bad, okay? But I'm here to say when they actually try to undermine your confidence. This is what all of this does. All of this manipulation is trying to undermine you so they can take advantage of you, so they can control you. Now, some people, again, people that have inherently controlling behavior are oftentimes completely unaware that they're doing this. It's just they're so programmed that most of the time they had a significant parent in their life that was very demanding, very controlling and they reflected in their own life to protect their own world or their own reality is that they have to control others to feel safe in their reality. This is why they sometimes undermine your confidence because they oftentimes are so insecure that if they make you insecure, that actually helps them in their own warped subconscious way to even the playing field. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? If it is, please hit that like button. Please hit the, please subscribe to my channel. Please share this as well. By the way, you see there's a link for coaching. By the way, if any of this is resonating with you and you'd like to have a discovery call with me, check out that link to schedule a call where you get to speak to me and see if working with a coach is right for you. Okay, number four, they ask lots and lots and lots of small favors. When someone continually asks you for small favors without reciprocating, that's a sign that they're trying to manipulate each. By the way, when I think of manipulation, I also think of taking advantage of a person.  They do this because as I said before, we are riddled with a dysfunctional population. You know, I look at it this way and I'm gonna address this small favors in a second, but I look at it this way. Before I met my sweetheart, actually I like to call her my beloved now. I really feel a sense of connection with this person and she arrives in two days for our next three week adventure. I share this with you because I'm learning how a healthy, a real healthy relationship feels like and what I'm sharing in this video is when it doesn't feel good. See, when you're in a really good, healthy relationship, most everything feels good and even the uncomfortable things tend to work itself out. Now, this happens because we practice radical honesty with each other. We practice transparency. We're fairly aware of our child and wounds and traumas. We do a lot of self reflection. We are both intentional in the process and we have a strong connection with one another. And when you have this, you have a greater chance for relationship success. So in our relationship, we ask small favors of each other, that's okay when it's reciprocal, when it's a two lane street. This is why most of you know, I'm really tired of the current dating rhetoric because it's all centered around just the man's supposed to claim you and the man takes charge.  In my relationship, it's a two lane street. If you haven't read the book, if the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated, this is a great book to throw out the gender bullshit and actually decide, do you wanna connect with someone at a heart centered level? Imagine this, imagine connecting at a heart centered level with another human being. I invite you to attract that in your life. I invite you to call in that kind of relationship so you don't have to worry about manipulation in a relationship. How do you attract that in? God, universe, spirit. I invite love into my life. I invite a healthy person in my life, emotionally healthy person, where we have an amazing chemistry with one another and we connect on a energetic level. And I invite in excellent communication skills, both where we can resolve conflicts and differences with ease. And it's a mutual two lane street when it comes to communication. The communication feels like you're talking to a good friend because you actually like this person. I also invite in shared that, excuse me, lifestyles that are blendable with one another instead of trying to pretzel myself into a relationship. I invite a relationship where we can blend lives together because we are aligned in our lifestyles and we can build this together and we share the same values with one another. And we can develop the deep roots of trust through social activities, hobbies, mutual interests, being on the same page when it comes to money, being on the same page when it comes to the five love languages and certainly being on the same page in our sexual capacity because isn't it great to be in relationship with your best friend whom you can fuck on a regular basis?   You have the power to manifest what you want. First, understand what you want in relationship. And I got to tell you something ladies, most of you are rather clueless. You all go, Jonathan, I know what I want. I know what I want. I know what I want. And I say this because when clients come to me and they say, I know what I want, then I put them through my proprietary coaching program that I've created. And you know what happens after they've gone through the boot camp? Jonathan, why didn't they teach me this in school? Why didn't my parents teach me this?  And now you know how to ask the better questions to turn this into your life.  I really can't stand the silent treatment. Now, I experienced this as a child growing up. There's a picture of my mom and dad. They were married for 66 years before my mother passed away. Interestingly enough, this was in their 20s. My father is now 97 years old. He lives in Istanbul, Turkey.  But my mom had a capacity to give the silent treatment. It was rather painful as a child growing up. It was a rather painful to be in a situation.  Now look, we might all need time to process something. We might all need time to process something. But taking more than 24 hours to process something, especially if you've said I love you to this other person.  A healthy relationship. You need to have communication with one another. You need agreements with one another that if there's differences that you state that I need a little time out, that's okay.  So definitely the silent treatment. And last and not least, and I'm going to share this with you. Last but not least, I'm just pulling something up. They withhold things from you. They withhold things from you. You know, one of the most important facets of a relationship, if you want to be in a healthy, happy, juicy, delicious relationship. Look, if you want mediocre relationships, go talk to other dating coaches. That's, homie don't play that. I'm here to encourage juicy, delicious relationship, healthy relationships. If you want those mediocre relationships, go follow the book, The Rules.  Follow that advice. Because I'm here to say that emotional intimacy is the tapestry to build a healthy, happy relationship. This is why I continually recommend the book by Robert Masters, Emotional Intimacy. If you don't know, listen ladies, like I said before, just because you can foment your feelings doesn't mean you're actually good at articulating your feelings in a way that's seen, heard, and understood. And I said here withholding, to be in a healthy, happy relationship, you need to be vulnerable, authentic, and transparent. And transparent means if it's material to the relationship, speak up.     You're no picnic either. By the way, my coffee mug says, swear a little, you'll feel better. I know some of you get offended by my cursing. That's so unprofessional, blah, blah, blah, blah. Look it. I actually, someone wrote to me that the most intelligent people on the planet actually use expletives to enhance the sentence and that's what I do. So I'm here to say, how do you avoid manipulation? Let me say it starts by making better choices. Again, if you want that help at making better choices, schedule a call with me, number one. Number two is to be empowered. To be empowered in your own life. Stop giving your power away. Ladies, many of you, many human beings operate from the premise I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself.  I'm guilty of this myself. I am riddled with insecurities.  Now I'm aware of this and it's kind of funny with my girlfriend. I bring it up on occasions. She laughs at me.   We all have a little kid inside of us that wants to be loved so much. And yet we have all this armor, these masks we live in, the masks we wear. Many of you think I've rushed into my relationship. Let me tell you what really happened. We let down the masks. When you let down the mask, you actually open your heart up to real potential deep intimacy. And I'm here to say, if you want that to happen in your life, first off, you need to find someone you can trust. There's no doubt about that. And it's not easy in a dysfunctional society, but if you sift through enough, you can find that person, especially when you've created the mantra that I shared with you. You actually have the power to invite in an amazing relationship in your life. So you don't have to worry about being manipulated. Does anyone agree with me? Can I get an amen? Can I say, yes, Jonathan, this content resonates with me. All right, I think this would be a good place to start our Q and A. Those who know my format know that if you have a question, write the word question in the little chat box there and then post your question there after or purchase a super sticker, super chat or a super thanks if you're watching the replay replay. There's a little dollar sign in the chat box to order a super sticker. All of the funds from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son, Connor Asley. That's a picture of him right there. That's a picture of him with his brother and I. It's my son who passed away four years ago. That's his dog, Duke, who just passed away wearing a little tuxedo. In Connor's honor, I started the scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development or to donate to causes like the Hoffman process and Insight. Looks like I'll be donating another $1,000 very soon and I've made a pledge for another $500 as well. So I wanna thank you all for that support. Big hugs and appreciation. All right, looks like we have questions here. Oops, where did it go? Where did it go? Oops, hold on. Sorry. Okay, questions. Question, together for over a year, he broke up with me and continues to text me how much he loves me and how sad he is. What does he even mean? Wait, let me see this again. Together for over a year, he broke up with me and continues to text me. You know what? All right, listen, you're not gonna like this advice but you know what?  You say you love me but you broke up with me.  Okay, a real man doesn't lose what he loves.     How can you say you love me and you broke?  If you want me back, by the way, I will forgive you but the price is gonna be a lot higher. So either step up or step out and make room for a person who genuinely wants to love me. By the way, does anyone relate to this? Do you agree with this?  I'm so sorry I miss you. Yeah, you're tired. You want the cookie without, what's the, you want the milk without buying the, whatever it is, that phrase.  Don't put up with it.  Does everyone agree with me?  Write that in the comments below. All right, Kimberly. Thank you so much. All right, Ouija, how you doing, sweetheart? Question, please help me understand why he feels overwhelmed and pressured by dating Val due to his previous relationship in 2021. I invested, I invested a little by sleep with him once. Then I brought out the dating vows to him. So what, let's go through the dating vows for a second, everyone. So where is it? All right, so ask him what part of the dating vows confuse him? The agreement that we're going to invest in getting to know one another. Is it the agreement to be monogamously exclusive with one another while we're having regular sex together? Is it the agreement that we're not going to date others while we're getting to know each other and having regular sex together? Is it the agreement that we're going to speak up if this isn't working? Or is it the agreement to invest regular time?  If you want my vagina, then you gotta court me. You gotta say, I've got a plan here. I'm not in it for the short run. But Jonathan, he's going to get scared. You want to scare the wrong guy away.  I'm sorry. There's nothing uncomfortable here for a guy who's genuinely seriously wants a relationship. By the way, in the description below is the dating vow, okay? So if you need a copy of it, it's there. Yes, 80% of guys are going to get scared by this. Or 90%, I should say.  I get riled up when, listen. Probably in my unconscious days, I might have acted the same way or I would have just ghosted you. But ghosting or at least ended it.  But at least I would say, I'm not ready. So that's my suggestion for you. Weijin, does that help? Please let me know. All right. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Look at everybody. Kimberly says, call him out. That was the previous one.  There you go. See everyone, call him out.  There we go. Kathy says, great advice, thank you. All right, Stephanie writes, question. How do you know if you can trust a guy? Are there clear signs to know? I think trust isn't just about fidelity. Trust is, can I count on this person caring about my feelings as much as I care about my own? So, okay, here's a couple of ways to check, okay? First, does his action consistently matches words? Does his action consistently matches words? Number two, does he have victor consciousness or victim consciousness? Victim consciousness people are those people that oftentimes throw their ex-partner under the bus and they take no ownership as to why their past relationships have failed. Now, we all have reasons why we could have been with a partner that didn't work out, but if we don't take ownership on our own part, that's a sign of victim consciousness and not victor consciousness, okay? Number three, he knows how to fight fair. And what I mean is he has good communication, active listening skills, and when there's a disagreement, he listens to your point of view and accepts your point of view as being true for you, unlike Weijin's guy that we just talked about. Number four, he has empathy. Empathy isn't that you can just feel someone's feelings. Empathy is you genuinely care about someone else's feelings and more importantly, you have empathy for yourself. And lastly, you are transparent. And again, I said, if it's material to the relationship, you're going to speak up. Those five signs of emotional maturity are good starting point to pay attention if it's someone you can actually trust. I think, you know, when I think of my partner, and by the way, there's a picture of her and I there. We went out with her girlfriend and her boyfriend for dinner. And by the way, I'm a big advocate for spending time with other your partner's friends and she's met many of my friends. I've met some of her friends now. I'm talking, we're talking about me meeting her bestie, bestie who's a guy that she's known 40 years. No, no, yeah, 40 plus years. So they literally, I think they met in grade school or something like that. My point is, I get a sense I can trust her, but part of that is because we've been radically honest with one another. We've been vulnerable. We've been authentic. We've been transparent. We've laid our cards on the table. Now, here's the thing. Some people need to be concerned. I didn't address this earlier. What I didn't do in this relationship is we haven't loved bombed each other. Love bombing is a way to create false trust. Let me repeat that. Love bombing creates false trust. Love bombing looks like this. Oh my God, you're so amazing.  I can see us spending our futures together. Oh my God, this is just so different than everything else. And you let your guard down thinking that this person's legitimate. Love bombing creates a false sense of trust. Real trust is being radically honest and vulnerable with one another. With my girlfriend and I'm, by the way, the only reason why I don't share her name is she has privacy too. And I don't want people to infringe upon her privacy. I know someone complained, why didn't you share her name? Until she allows me, I'm not going to do that. But in our particular case, we really got vulnerable with our past relationships. I mean, we really shared the good, the bad and the ugly about our past relationships so we could give insight into how we operate potentially in our future relationships. I think you have to look backward to be able to get a sense of who a person is.  That's why I recommend a plethora of books so you can understand human behavior. Because especially two books that I recommend habitually is Getting the Love You Want by Harvelle Hendricks and Helen Hunch and Also Attached by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller. This is two great books to understand and the Hoppen process to understand human behavior. Because if you don't understand human behavior, you're going to potentially make terrible choices in your life, especially when it comes to the area of trust. My girlfriend has done Lifespring, which is, I think it's a derivative of S that started back in the 70s. I've done the Hoppen process, I've done Insight, I've done Warrior Weekend. Thankfully, we've done a lot of introspective work because it's going to be hard to choose people to trust unless you've been radically honest and vulnerable with one another. And it means unpacking your past. Now, I know a lot of dating coaches will tell you to never do that. But there's a reason why we're at where we're at and if you don't understand someone's past, it's like voting for a politician and not finding out their voting history. Not to suggest, listen, I can't stand every politician on the planet, but I'm using that. You want to see their voting history to see what kind of person they might be in the future. This is why you look at a resume, you look at their past job experiences, you look at their schooling. We have to look at the past to get a sense of who this person is. And you have to have a sense of, you have to have a sense of intuitiveness because most of you guys are winging it, you're winging it. You operate from the premise that attraction chemistry equals relationship success. And I'm here to say, do you see attraction is above the waterline chemistry?  You're setting yourself up for failure, focusing on mostly attraction and chemistry. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. So trust, you got to dig around. You got to unpack someone's past to get any sense of who they are in the future, as well as those five signs of emotional maturity I suggested, and maybe you have a chance to dive into deeper trust with this person when you can check off all those boxes. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know and schedule a discovery call with me because maybe I can help you with this a little bit further. All right, I wanna thank Stephanie for that fantastic question, really appreciate it. All right, let's see what we've got here. Oh my God, we got, shoot, we have a ton. I'm falling behind here, everyone. Bear with me, everyone, let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Wait, Judy says, compliment your new relationship gives a new perspective and hope for all of us to go for it once you find the one where there are no rules. You know, folks, so I've been really thinking about my journey lately. I'm gonna take a break here and I'm gonna share things personal here. You know, I followed the blueprint growing up.  First blueprint, I knocked out two kids from that, okay? That was the blueprint mom and dad taught me, okay? Then all of a sudden my blueprint collided with my reality. We weren't right for each other. On so many different levels, we weren't right for each other and we got divorced. So I did what a lot of guys did. I signed up to match.com, or excuse me, back then it was Yahoo! Personals and AOL Personals. Does anyone remember Yahoo! Personals and AOL Personals post a comment, okay? And I started online dating and I thought it was gonna be real simple. You just plug in exactly what you want and someone would magically appear. Sure enough, they did. I met a woman, had a great first date. Nice woman, great date, something wasn't right. Another woman, nice woman, great date, something wasn't right, again, again, again. And in one year I had over a hundred internet dates. And what I realized that the something right wasn't me. And right about that time, the movie The Secret came out and I started to do a deep dive into the law of attraction and reading Louise Hay and started to do personal development work. I went to Tony Robbins and followed his work and I started to read all these different books to help me understand who I am because I didn't realize at that time it was preparing me for a new profession. So fast forward five years after my divorce, I met a woman. And we went on to have a six year journey, sometimes on and off in that six years. I was a mess when I met her. And yet she accepted me in my dysfunctionality. Now she's a therapist, beautiful, kindhearted woman, we're very dear friends with each other. She's in a fantastic relationship. And when it ended, I realized there was more healing I needed to be done. So I went to the Hoffman process to really heal my deeper childhood wounds and traumas. And then a few months later, my mom passed away. And then six months later, my son Connor passed away. And then six months later, my dad decided to move back to Turkey. And I was still, I was very much in a state of limbo. This is now a year after my relationship ended. And I was still actively dating, but I really wasn't capable of committing. My business took a slight dive. I didn't want to work. And then 2019, I really didn't have a good year. So that was another, that now it's two years later. And then COVID hit. So I asked myself, why is it taking me five years? Why do I, to meet someone really special? Well, interestingly enough, we met a year earlier and she knocked on my door and said, I'm interested in you. And I kind of blew her off. Then she knocked on my door again and said, I'm kind of interested in you. And I blew it off.  And I'm thinking of that, that quote or that story about the woman and the flood where there's a flood coming into town and they warn everybody in the town to leave their homes and she doesn't leave her home. She said, God will protect me. And then there's the floodwaters coming.  And she goes, no, God will protect me. And then later the floodwaters are raising and there's a power boat that comes by and says, I'll take you away. And she goes, no, God will protect me. And then she gets the waters, reach the roof and a helicopter comes and says, well, lady, lady, we want to protect you, take you away.  He'll protect me. And she drowns. And she's up in heaven and St. Peter. She says, St. Peter, why did you let me drown? Why didn't you protect me? And she goes, I warned you at first. I sent you a rowboat the second time. I sent you a power boat the third time and I sent you a helicopter the fourth time. You didn't listen. So I think in my relationship, she knocked on my door three times. I finally listened and I made an overture to connect with her. And while it was a little awkward at first because this is long distance, I knew roughly by our second time together that this one is very special. I think men, when they're really ready, and that's the big piece in this all that I'm sharing this with you, is I felt ready, finally, to really step into my own individual power. I went through a lot of trauma, a lot of shifts. And yes, after my divorce, I had a significant relationship and it took me five years longer to meet someone even, I don't wanna say more special. Now I met someone incredibly special and maybe I'm moving fast, who knows? All I know is everything feels right with this person. She's so chill, she's so kind. We seem to just operate on the same wavelength. It's almost like, when I say something, it's just, or she shares something, we're already thinking of it because we seem so alike. They say opposites attract. I'm like, no, alignment is sexy. And so, and remember I mentioned my first girlfriend after my divorce? My girlfriend now, she and I have met my ex-girlfriend and we went and broke bread with her and her partner. We've met each other's friends. We're looking at shortening the long distance gap and making it no longer long distance. I feel like, you reach a point in your life, oh, and we're going on a vacation in a week, week and a half.  Get busy living or get busy dying. And so, diving in, not from an irresponsible place, but from a place of real radical honesty, laying our cards on the table, being introspective, having that strong connection, having lifestyles that are blendable, having a level of emotional maturity. I mean, our folks, you would be so jealous. I'm sorry, I'm gonna say this. You would be so jealous to hear the level of communication we have with one another. And you know what's amazing? I genuinely like this person. You know, I realize I have so many clients in relationship with men and they're pining for men whom they actually don't like very well. I like this person, I feel like she likes me. So, could it blow up? Absolutely, every relationship has a risk. There's no guarantee whether you move into, well, I mean, move to being exclusive quickly or waiting. The only reason why most people have to wait a longer period of time is because they don't genuinely know the person. While this isn't a dating book, I highly recommend reading the book, Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell, just to merely understand that is when you're meeting strangers, you need to do a way more amount of vetting. You need to do a lot more vetting. That's what I teach you in my private coaching. So, I went off on a tangent here. I share this with you all because a true heart-centered connection is rare. It really is. And something to be coveted, something to be nurtured, something to be appreciative of and certainly something to make a full commitment. And look it, there's things about her I don't like. There's things about me she doesn't like. We've actually talked about it.  This is our ego talking because when we look at the core, we're actually connecting at a heart-centered level and that's my invitation. By the way, many of you are not gonna, that's not gonna happen because you haven't shored up yourself. I went through, literally, from the time I get divorced till today, 15 plus years to go through the tunnel as Alison Armstrong talks about. Many of you are in your own tunnel. And that's okay too. The tunnel's a great place to heal. The tunnel is like the cocoon a caterpillar goes in. And it's time to metamorphize yourself. So read all the books in the description below to prepare you for a juicy, delicious, happy relationship. And that's my two cents on my own personal relationship. Has this helped? Does my content and my personal shares help? Please post a comment, say Jonathan, your personal shares help so I know. All right, let's see. We have time for a few more questions. Oh, let's go swim. Oh, no, we've got a scammer here. Sorry about that. All right. Weijin says, merci, Jonathan. I'm glad I told you. If he can't agree with me with the dating vow, then I can't take him regardless of how much I like him.  Oh, Weijin, another $10 super sticker. Thank you so much. Only keeping our standards and boundaries and taking risks will have a greater chance to receive the way we wanna be treated.  Oh, Weijin, thank you so much. I appreciate that. All right, question. Please, Jonathan, 15 years without dating, how to get back out there? Any advice? Pray. I love where is my, Marianne Williamson says, what's the best advice I can give to someone who's just getting started? You know what? Read this book. This is a great book. If the Buddha dated, if the Buddha dated. I love this book as a getting started platform. Start with there and then come back to me and let me know what you think of it. Mia, thank you so much for your question. All right. And B Potter says we come here for advice not to listen to your sappy love story. How does everyone feel about that? Is that true? Would you, is not, is my content, my personal shares not valuable? Does it, like, am I not articulating in a way to demonstrate what is possible out there? Am I not demonstrating the importance of radical honesty, laying your cards on the table, vulnerability, authenticity and transparency? Does that not translate into doing things a different way? Because that's what my hope is by making my personal shares. So anyway, thank you so much for your opinion. All right. Let's go swim in. Coco says, why does my boyfriend think I'm going to leave him all the time? He always says he doesn't understand why I'm still here. So this is, that is his little kid who has a fear of abandonment most likely. He has a childhood wound or trauma that has gone unhealed and he doesn't feel safe in love. I would have a conversation with him. I'd have a conversation with him to ask him, what's coming up?  I think folks, I think it's time to start recognizing that we all are adults that have a little kid inside of us and ask him, what does his little kid need to feel safe in this relationship? That's my invitation anyway. All right. Thank you so much for that question, Coco. I hope that helped.  You got this babe. Thank you for the 1999 Super Sticker. I really appreciate it. Claire says, your personal share is valuable. Thank you so much. Kimberly says, I love your story. Thank you. She sounds absolutely beautiful. Thank you so much. All right. Kimberly, Chicago, Kimberly, question. I know I'm being manipulated by a man in my life right now. Pretend you are talking to this gaslighter. What would you say to him, role play? All right. See, I need specifics. This is hard, Kimberly, because I like to have the specifics to actually do a role play. So I'm your big brother. I've got the shotgun out there. I pointed at the guy's face. What are your intentions with my little sister? Would be my first.  So first and foremost, what would I say? It appears your actions don't match your words. So you claim one thing, but your actions say another. What kind of man are you?  That might be a way to get this. You see, now that's not, I would say that to him. You know, here's the bottom line. When relationships don't feel good, they're usually not the right relationship. And they don't feel good. They're usually not the right relationship. When you don't feel safe, if you feel like you're being manipulated, that means you're not safe. And if that's happening, that's not a good sign in this particular case. So I'm here to say the best relationships usually are relatively easy. I mean, maybe you got to go through hoops and hurdles like the travel and whatnot, like what's happening in my case. But for the most part, the best relationships work well. You don't feel doubt. You don't feel uncertainty. You don't feel unsafe. And if someone's manipulating with you, I would say, bye-bye, that's what I would do in that particular case. Kimberly, thank you so much. All right, this might be our last question for the night. Question, your thoughts on the phrase if he wanted to, he would. Was dating a guy who was not meeting me halfway? I just stopped trying. So did he. I figured the phrase accurate, your thoughts. You know, here's the bottom line, folks. I'm gonna respond to that, okay? The three types of people actively dating. The users, the spenders and the growers. The users are the love bombers, the short-term game, the players, the gold diggers. By the way, this is not a fact, it's merely an opinion. The selfish people only caring about their own needs. The spenders, they seek connection, companionship, coupling, and sex. No direction, uncertainty, fearful, usually have a dysfunctional life. And lastly, the grower and builders. Those are only 20% or less of the population. They seek long-term commitment. They're emotionally grown up. Good relationship skills. They have their act together. Folks, you have an 80% chance of ending up with a user or a spender. Spenders might be able to turn it around. That's only gonna happen when you actually have a plan.  Are we just hanging out to have a good time? We should have a good time. I just wanna live in the moment. Don't put pressure on me, I wanna have a good time.  And that's a scary place to do if you've done it again, again, again. So trust is built through healthy communication. Trust is built through an intentional way of approaching the process. Instead of this, I'm winning it, I'm winning it, I'm winning it way, that 80% of the population and ladies, you are in charge of your destiny.  Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. All right, thank you so much, Laura, for that question. You know what, this will be a great place to wrap up today.  It is. It's divided country here in the United States. We have a lot of emotionally constipated human beings. It's not easy. I'm here to promote personal development, self-help and spiritual work.  A Journey of Personal Development, Self-Help and Spiritual Work. By the way, there's a link below to get all the books I recommend. Why do I recommend my book? Start someplace in your life to shore up your self-love because whether you meet the right person or not, what's most important is the right relationship with yourself. That's what my channel is all about. Encouraging individual empowerment. So if you're not with the right guy, you can either walk away. By the way, if you ever feel like you need to walk away, read this book too good to leave and too bad to stay. Definitely check out this book. I recommend this. I just started reading it so I'm not fully recommending it yet. So, oh, I ordered a book called Sacred Partnerships. I'm really, it comes in tomorrow. I'm excited about that. Anyway, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. Be empowered in your life. Don't subscribe to the idea that attraction equals relationship success. Remember that you need to share the same values. You have blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity and watch out for those manipulative men like I talked about today. All right, I think this would be a great place to wrap up today.  Please sign up to my YouTube channel. Please like this. Please share this with your friends. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone. A Pat, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank, who do I wanna thank? We got lots of people. Mia, Magic Star, CeCe, Weegean, Stephanie, Jenny VRN, Amber, Mary Ann, Brenda, Janet, Julie. Sorry I didn't answer your questions. Goddess of Ever, Lisa, Kathy, Gloria, Lauren, Kimberly, everyone, Cole, Coco, everyone, thank you so much for the love. I really appreciate it. Have a fabulous evening, be well. Thanks, bye now.