So, welcome to the second annual MCC World Hajjab Day Celebration. My name is Sister Huda Biltaji. Some of you know me from MCC Sunday School or from the Fall Fest, some familiar faces. So nice to see you guys, Alhamdulillah. I thank Allah for this opportunity for us to be gathered here today to strengthen our ties of sisterhood and seek support and positivity through our gathering today, insha'Allah. So before we begin, I wanted to give you guys a little bit of a background on what World Hajjab Day is, because if you're anything like me, you may have never heard it. This is only the second year that I had heard about it. So it was actually started by Sister Nazima Khan. She was in school in New York, post 9-11, I believe in Brooklyn, and she experienced a lot of bullying and Islamophobia as you can imagine as a young girl in Hajjab in New York at that time. So like many of us do, we turned to social media for support, and at that time, she turned to Facebook for support. And she started reaching out to sisters from all walks of life and encouraging them to experience what it's like to wear Hajjab in an effort to combat Islamophobia and raise awareness. So she called it the World Hajjab Day, and that takes place February 1st annually. So inshallah, next February 1st, I know what all of you guys will be doing, inviting your friends, colleagues, someone you might know to experience wearing Hajjab with you, and to see what it's like to be a Muslim and walk in our shoes. So why does this matter, right? Why does it matter that we talk about Hajjab, that we discuss Hajjab, that we gather together inshallah? Why should it matter to us? Well, as we all know, subhanallah, in an age where ourselves and especially the youth are more than ever encouraged to just indulge their nefs, right?  And to really indulge in our whims, where each day our minds and our hearts are, you know, bombarded with maybe negative images from across the globe or negative portrayals of Muslims and Islam. Where the beauty industry is on a daily basis. Just scroll through anyone's feed subhanallah, whether you want to see it or not, our images, our minds are bombarded with images of hyper-sexuality and morality and modesty, right? Making us feel like covering is something that's not beautiful enough. So unfortunately, as a result of that, oftentimes, whether it's publicly or privately on social media or within our families, we hear about sisters struggling to wear Hajjab, struggling with that identity of Hajjab. And we even hear about sisters publicly removing their Hajjab. So, inshallah, with this event, we hope to combat that, right? To counteract that empowerment through sisterhood and knowing that you're not alone. Even if you're in a public institution and you may not have an MSA or you might not have someone that you can lean on. You know that there's always sisters around you to support you. To raise awareness and challenge stereotypes. I believe that the best way to do that is through personal interactions. When someone meets you, they know you, then how can they dislike you, right? And of course, celebrating the gift of Hajjab, because this is a gift from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for us. And to encourage in an age of immodesty, to encourage modesty and haya in our dress, as well as in our demeanor, right? And then of course, nurturing Hajjabi confidence and Hajjab pride. We wear it proudfully. We are of the people of Fahir of pride and proud because of our Hajjab and what Allah has given us. So in addition to these objectives, today is really just a celebration of us. Of you individually to put your courage rather to put Allah first. To put your deen first. To recognize, acknowledge, and uplift every one of you powerhouse. I like to call myself a powerhouse even though sometimes I don't feel that way. But we're all powerhouse sisters, inshallah, engaging silently in a jihad of our nafs on a daily basis. We're struggling to make sure that we stay on our path with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala our Islamic identity and walk in the footsteps of our great mothers. Particularly again, our youth who are in public institutions and might not have that support that they need, right? Who each morning stand in front of their closets and choose between wearing what Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala encourages me to wear and to cover my beauty or to follow what they say if you got it flaunted, right? So there's always that subhanallah battle. Knowing that if you choose hijab, you might get those silly questions. Like, aren't you hot in that? It's summer. Why are you, do you shower in that? Can you swim? You know, we've all experienced these kinds of questions. Subhanallah. So today we're saying, no, we're not hot in that. And we're celebrating this gift of Allah, this gift of hijab and the gift of modesty, right? That we love and are so honored and take pride in wearing. Because subhanallah, everything of great value is protected. So no matter where you are along your journey of hijab, because it is a process, it is a journey. So no matter where you are along that journey, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala wrote and had for us, maqtub, to be here together today. To encourage one another collectively in seeking his pleasure and encouraging one another to stay on this path.  He sees you.  So don't give up and keep struggling. Fi sabilillah, insha'Allah. The good struggle, the beautiful struggle, bi-iznillah. Now it's my pleasure, insha'Allah, to introduce Sister Sana'a, who has dedicated herself, insha'Allah, to uplifting others. Sana'a is the CEO and founder of Wasila Connections. She holds a master's in social work and a bachelor's in human development. She has served in the mental health field since 2007. And she holds multiple roles from residential counselor for emotionally disturbed girls. She's activity coordinator for developmentally disabled adults. Recovery counselor for substance abuse recovery home. ABA therapist, medical social worker, to currently a clinical case manager and crisis specialist. Her internships consist of working with low income homeless population in a single resident occupancy home and a clinical therapist for a school with behavioral and emotionally challenged population. Jazakallah, sister Sana'a, for being with us here today. We're so honored to have you. We salamu alaykum sisters. Man, did y'all not have breakfast? As-salamu alaykum. There we go, there's the voices. Jazakallah, clients, sister Hoda for introducing me. And that's a laundry list of things. I promise you I don't do all of that right now, but those are over the years. But yes, as sister Hoda said, my name is Sana'a. I am the director of Wasila Connections. Wasila Connections is an organization that I founded in 2020. And it's to help support those that are going through challenges and more specifically those that are divorced in the community. So breaking stigma and help supporting those that are impacted by that challenge. But aside from that, this talk, I want it to be a little interactive. And I'm gonna be sharing my story after that. But when I say interactive, that means I wanna hear your answers to my questions. And I wanna hear you guys share a little bit about this. I know sometimes it could be a little bit daunting to say something. But before I do that, how many moms are in here? Man, masha'Allah. How many moms have their daughters in here with them? Okay, all right. Well, here's a message to moms. I'm a mom too. Don't get mad at your daughters if they answer something today that you don't want to hear, that you don't like, all right? Let's not do that. And daughters, please be open.   So how many of you guys are under 16? Oh, masha'Allah, that's one, okay. Enjoy your youth. How many of you guys are 16 to 19? Okay, all right. How many are in the 20s? Okay, all right. 30s? Okay, 40s. Hey, you guys could pass for 20s. Masha'Allah, 50s? Okay, all right. All right, should I go on 60s? Yeah, mama, 60s? All right, alhamdulillah. If you wear hijab, what age did you start wearing hijab? And you can shoot out your answers. 12, 11, 10, 15, seven. Oh, who said seven? Oh, okay. What other ages? Forever. So you was a baby and then you put that hijab. Alhamdulillah, okay. 30 plus, masha'Allah, masha'Allah. 27, okay, all right. Okay, alhamdulillah. What's that? That's backwards. What is that, 25? 52? Seven, eight? Okay, all right, okay. What does the word hijab mean to you? You can say whatever one, two words that you feel it means. Shout it out. Modesty, okay. Identity, okay. Marrier? Oh, barrier. Good one, okay. Faith, okay. Safety. Unity, did I hear that? Beauty, okay. Pride. You know what? I know I'm in my 30s, but I really can't hear. So you're gonna have to speak up. Easy. Okay, okay, easy, all right. Dawa, okay. Freedom, precious. Okay, all right. Love. Struggle, okay, yeah. Gift, okay. Respect, mashallah. Love. Yes, yes. Friends, strength, okay. Mashallah, mashallah, that's good. Oh, sorry, I think I didn't hear the last one. Submission, okay. All heavy words, all good words, all positive words. Okay, hangala. All right. What feelings, well, I guess it sounds like a lot of those were feelings as well, but what feelings or thoughts come to mind when you think of hijab? So I heard struggle. Any other thoughts? Remind you to put a love first. Okay, what thoughts come up? Confliction, okay, yeah. Confliction. Responsibility, okay.  I wanna hear from the daughters. Come on, y'all. Don't worry, mama not gonna say nothing. Okay, all right. It's okay, all right. So I wanna show a hands. How many of you guys have had negative experiences with your hijab? Yeah, majority. How many of you have had positive experiences with your hijab? Okay, almost everyone. I should have asked you guys to look around, but majority, everyone raised their hand for positivity and majority of you guys raised your hand for negativity as well because hijab is not just, I'm not here gonna share a positive, you know, great story about hijab and my journey, but I'm gonna share a real story with you guys, a real life story that includes not only positivity but also negative experiences. It will include the struggles that oftentimes are not spoken of and so I actually started wearing hijab at the age of seven and maybe seven, eight, nine, my memory's not serving me right, but I started wearing it and when I started wearing the hijab, I could say it was forced, right? It was forced, I was told to wear it and so I wore it without any understanding of it. Now, I grew up in the Bay Area, I grew up in Richmond and at that time I was one of the three Muslims in the schools and the only one wearing hijab and one of the three South Asians that were in the school so I was double whammy, just all sorts of minority in there and when I wore it, when I came to school that day, including my Muslim best friend asked me, why am I wearing it, what is that? And I was bombarded with questions that I didn't really understand how to answer that and from there on, I felt like I was ostracized, I felt like I no longer carried friends or people I thought I knew were my friends. I didn't have anyone to play with anymore, everyone just kind of looked at me and were like, ugh, like who is she? And at that time I didn't understand but I started to feel like, okay, why am I being singled out and I didn't know why I was being singled out. Even with peers, even with teachers, I felt like I was being singled out. Whatever I said, it was like, no, not considered. So much so that one day I was walking up and a girl came and slapped me just because I don't even know why. I was looked at, I'm like, what did I do? And I went to the teacher to explain and the teacher's like, just dismissed me. And I was like, okay, and this happened all throughout my elementary school. And up until when I was in fifth grade, I officially knew in fifth grade when I was 11 years old that I officially don't have any friends. I don't have anyone. And it just, I felt lonely. I felt like just there was, I felt unlovable. I actually felt unlovable. I felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I was just someone that didn't need to exist there. And it was hard. So fast forward in middle school, I get to middle school and I have an all girls PE class. And at this time, everyone that I went to elementary school came to middle school with me so everyone knew me. And PE lockers are changing and I have my hijab off.  Oh my God, you have hair. Oh my God, look at law. And I had hair. I forgot this was live streamed. But you know, and people were just touching my hair and they were like, you look so different. This and that. Like as if I was an alien. Like, you know, it's just a hijab. Like obviously, of course I have hair, but I got attention. People started to like me. And I felt like I was wanted again. I felt like, oh, I'm gonna have friends.  Maybe this is, you know, I feel like with it on, it's just gonna be too hard. I'm not gonna have friends. I'm not gonna have people to like me.   And you know, I slowly rebelled a little bit. I rebelled a bit and I continued to do that. But, you know, every once in a while when I would put my hijab on or take it off, like I would notice the difference in how people treated me versus how people treated me without it. Now fast forward to high school, you know, I just constantly felt like I had to conform. I had to do something to be liked. I just couldn't be me. And then I thought to myself, you know, this is hard, why, like why? But then I stopped. I stopped and I said, okay, it's been a long time. It's been a long time I've been thinking like this. I've been feeling like this. Why am I wearing it? And I had to stop myself from thinking so much about, you know, being liked or what have you. And I asked myself, what is the reason for me to wear this?  So I said, you know, okay, I wear this because Allah has asked me to wear this. Allah has told me to wear this. So you know what, Bismillah, I will now wear it not because it was a choice of somebody else, but because I choose to wear this because it is my choice now to put this on. And SubhanAllah, that is when I felt like I liberated myself because I made a decision. I made a decision to wear something. When I struggled with wearing the hijab, I felt as though it was too difficult and almost a burden upon me. But if you can recall my story, everything up until the point of me asking myself why I'm wearing it, I was worried about why wear it consisted of peers, my friends. It consisted of friends, society, definitions, what I am liked, disliked, whether I am disliked, whether I fit in, whether I don't fit in, how do I look? Am I good enough for everybody here? And we often equate hijab to be a burden or difficult not because the hijab itself is negative, but the experiences we share or that we go through that make it negative. It's the emotions that we attach, that we are attached to that create that negativity feeling. And so that entire time, all of that negativity I was associating with, oh, I put hijab on so this is why I'm having it. But no, that was coming from people, people's perceptions, people's actions, people's behaviors.  Some common thoughts and feelings that I've spoken to a lot of people, people I've shared their stories and something I've heard of throughout my life is when people wear the hijab, they fear of being harmed by people when they're walking down the street. I mean, there was a time back in 2013 or 14 that in the Bay Area, we had people being, hijab is being targeted. People would look at them up and down. I mean, I don't know if anybody remembers that, but that was happening and people were afraid. They were afraid to walk outside of their home and go to the store. There is fear of not having friends. That's a lot. I mean, I know there's a lot of young girls here and friends are important. Our social life is important. And so we recognize that and not fearing, not having a friend or being social or having that social life can really be debilitating really because that's as teams, that's what we think about. That's what's important for us. But also fear of not looking pretty. A lot of times we look at hijab as a way of stopping our beauty, but somehow I did hear some of the crowd here saying that it reminds them of beauty, love. I'm glad to hear that, but there are a lot of people that feel that way. I mean, I just recently asked my own daughters, I'm a single mom of four daughters and my older ones officially started wearing hijab on their own and I asked them, I'm like, okay. So what's, why do you wear it? And one of them felt it was a struggle and she's like, because maybe I'm not gonna be light. Maybe I'm not pretty. And those are real thoughts. Those are real thoughts that at some point maybe all of us felt a certain way. From the love for others, it's easy and for some it's, there's a struggle.  So maybe I'll get married quicker, you know. And these are real life thoughts. Now our perception of hijab is tainted by all of these negative thoughts, all of these negative experiences. But where does all of this come from? Too often the word hijab is mentioned and then oppression follows.  Oh man, I feel so sorry for you. You have to wear that. Your parents force you to wear that. And it's just, it's just a constant, constant restriction that they're pouring down us. And you know what ends up happening? We start to believe in that. We start to take the narrative that our society tells us and we make it our narrative. And thus we fall into that trap that has, it must be oppression for us. But do you know why we fall into that? Because we have removed Allah from the equation. If you recall all my entire story, I didn't think about Allah up until the point where I asked myself, why, why did I wear it? Why am I wearing it? It's because we removed the one who commands us. And who is Allah? Who is the one? Now when Allah commands us to do something, the first thing that opposes those commands is our desires. Just like Sister Hado is talking about our enoughs, our desires get in the way. We are a society that, what we want, we want it now. And what we want, we just wanna have it. But the desires itself gives us the immediate pleasure. It gives us the immediate reaction that we want. And that's why we crave it. That's why our desires pushes us in that direction because, man, I want that. Oh, that looks so pretty, I don't wanna go get that. I don't got money, but I'm gonna go get that.  I'm gonna go, I'm gonna have that, I'm gonna do this. And we've become a society that just is constantly bombarded, just like Sister Hado said, with all of this, the glitter, it's really glitter. It's all glitter. But what happens when we get it?  My weakness is boba teas.  Then I drink it and I'm done. I'm done, my desire is fulfilled and I'm done. I really don't want it anymore now. It was just a split second of pleasure. But that's what this world is. It's a split second of pleasure. It's a split second of getting what you want and then that's it, the feeling is gone, the feeling is done. We no longer feel that and now we're craving for the next feeling. And this is what that temporary life is. So do we want to have that feeling just for a split second or do we wanna have it forever? Do we wanna have things just for a moment or do we wanna have that to last forever? That's the difference between the pleasures of this world and the pleasures of the next. This is our temporary, we're just passing through. Now, every one of us wants to belong and have a sense of identity that is fulfilling. We naturally want to be part of a greater force. We wanna be part of something good. We wanna be part of something great. We wanna be part of something that contributes really good and we're like, yeah, that's us. That's who we are, that's us. But unfortunately, the way our society has projected Muslims, the things that are happening to us makes people feel like we're just going through so much. Why do we wanna be a part of this? Why do I wanna continue with this? We're being persecuted left to right. We're being told what to do. We're being put down. We are being striked in places. We don't have freedom. So it feels nerve-wracking to be a part of that society. But Allah tells us, to God we belong and to God we return. Who do we belong to? We belong to Allah. We belong to Him and that is who we are gonna go back to. That is our belonging. That is our sense of confidence. That is our sense of being. We are part of an ummah that is great. We are part of an ummah that is going to have everlasting peace. That's who we belong to. A lot of us are searching for belonging with our friends, our career, our people, our society. But Allah is here. Allah is here with us.  He wants you to be with Him. And that He is our end destination. He is our end goal. He is our purpose. And our purpose in this world is to worship Him. He is our destination. So there are many paths that attain this destination, right, which is Allah. But we are unable to attain it by not following His directives. Yasmeem Mahatmajad had actually had wrote this quite some years ago and she said, Hijab isn't a destination we get to or a crown that you wear once you reach that destination. Hijab is a part of a path. It is a fuel to the end goal, which is Allah. It's a journey, ladies. It's always going to be a journey. It's a path that's a means to Allah. And a means when we are on that path to Allah, the obedience to Him requires sacrificing our desires and sacrificing our desires comes with struggles and struggling and training ourselves. And when we struggle that end goal, when we get there, it's much sweeter than when we attain it.  It's coming up. Study, yeah. You have to work hard for that test, right? Because if you don't pass that test, you might not pass the grade, you might not pass the class, you might not go forward. Just like that, this is our life. This is our test. We have to study it. How do we study it? We learn what we have to do and we strive. We strive ourselves to get there. I looked at Hijab as freedom. Freedom from the shackles of my desires. Freedom from the shackles of worrying about people's perceptions about me. Liberation from being tied down to what others wanted of me. I was so worried about people that what they thought, what they said, what would happen so much so that I was conforming myself to their definitions of me. I gave them power over me. Why did I give that power away? Why do we give power away to people who do not deserve that? We deserve our own power. So we have to gather that strength. Once I wore the Hijab for the sake of Allah, Allah gave me friends that had my back. I went from zero friends, zero-like ability to being able to have so many beautiful friends, so many people, so much so that my friends now say, man, who doesn't know you? I'm like, I don't know about that. I don't know. But Allah gave me what I desired because he is Arrozah. He is our giver of sustenance. We think about sustenance and risk as just money. No, sustenance comes in the forms of friendship, love, understanding, people, everything that you can think of. That's what risk means. That's what Allah is. Allah wants to give us. All he asks is your obedience to him.  When I was in college, you know, I started wearing Hijab.  How many of you guys experienced that? Yeah, yeah. Man. And then, you know, then you try to wear that and then someone tells you, look at what you just did.   How many of you guys experienced that? Yeah, yeah, oh man. How disheartening is that? Does that give you courage to continue the Hijab? No. Does that, does that discourage you from the Hijab? Yeah, yeah, absolutely it does. So when I was in college, you know, as I grew up in Richmond, I was kind of coined the ghetto hijabi. You know, it took some time to get rid of that, that perception, but I had a friend. I had a friend and Subhanallah, Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is so merciful. This friend, this friend said to me one day, yeah, of course I didn't, you know, I was, I was still wearing my hijabi. I mean, I used to tie it from the back and I used to put it like Tupak style, put a hoodie on and walk out and, you know, sometimes I was wearing all sorts of different types of clothes. So one day I was wearing clothes that I probably shouldn't, you know, be wearing and this friend looks at me and this friend actually, you know, for a while, you know, we had a mutual respect and they used to help me out in a lot of things. And this friend one day looked at me and said, isn't your mom so clothes? My mom's a tailor, she sewed only clothes. And I was like, yeah, and they said, ask her to sew you some more. And I, yeah, for a second I know, I know, I got a little look so you're like, oh man, that's messed up. But you know what, nobody told me anything about my clothes, about what I was doing, whether it was right or wrong.  And it hit me to my core, not that I was offended, but I said, yikes, hey, you are right. What am I wearing? And that takes effort, that takes a way to say it.  You have to build understanding.  So maybe people didn't come to me, but you know what, I valued, I valued that. And that's been etched in my memory because from that day on I started striving. I strove, I strived, I actively worked on progressing my hijab, progressing my attire. And eventually I am here today. We oppress our souls by not progressively working on ourselves to be better each day. We oppress our souls by denying our souls comfort of where and to whom we belong to.  It is very, very hard. And for some it's easy and for some it's hard. And maybe for some it's a fluctuation that maybe some days are easier than the next. And maybe some days are harder, but pushed through because the greater the struggle, the greater the reward. People are gonna come on the Day of Judgment sisters and they're gonna see people that struggled a lot on this day, on this earth. And Allah is going to give them something that the people are gonna be like, man, I wanna go back to this world and I wanna struggle just like them. But the ease that's gonna come there, that's waiting, it's waiting for you. So what I wanna share with you guys is that there are a few tips and tools. I know sometimes we hear things and we think that, okay, great, that's cool. Like I got some power back in me and that's it. But there are some things that have helped me along the way to continue to wear the hijab, to continue to deal with my struggles because hijab is not only the struggles that we deal with, there's a lot of things that we deal with internally. But there are things that have helped. And I just wanna share that one, one tipper tool that has been very, very helpful for me is one that I was listening to a lecture by Sheikh Masleh from RIS and he was actually addressing the youth and he said, he gave an example and a story and I apologize, I don't remember the surah that when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam lost his wife, Khadija R.A. and lost his biggest supporter, his uncle. And he was at ta'if being pelted, thrown rocks at, covered with blood. He didn't have, and he, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam didn't have even what he, a revelation coming down to him for a while. Can you imagine what he, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam, felt and went through? And at that time, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam said, we know the condition of your heart. Now I wanna pause right there. Think about this. You can tell your friend next to you how you feel and maybe you can understand how your friend feels but can you actually understand the intricacies of how they actually feel? No, the depth of that feeling is only to you. You are the only one who know how hard that is in that moment. But Allah is saying, we know the condition of your heart. I know exactly how you feel, how much of a depth of a pain that you are going through right now. Only I know. I know that feeling. And so then the shaykh goes on and says that, Allah says, remember me. Now I wanna pause there. We hear this a lot, right? Remember Allah, make Likr start thinking about him but I had heard another scholar speak about this recently that there was a world of souls. Our souls were there and Allah swt manifested himself as he saw fit and we submitted to Allah. Our soul said, yes, we believe. There was a connection between your soul and Allah. And so Allah is saying, is reminding us, remember that connection you have with me. Remember me. And then Allah says the next step is be like the people of Sajda.  No, he just said, be like the people of Sajda. So sisters, you don't even have to be, you could be in your menstrual cycle. You don't even have to be wearing hijab but if you're feeling so broken and so hurt and pained, all you have to do is get your head on the floor. You get down in that Sajda because guess what?  You could even just say Allah and start crying and he knows exactly what he's going to give you, what exactly you're gonna need at that moment. And so sisters, when I heard this, I was going through a lot of struggles at that time. And I remember there was, there's a couple of stories I wanna share with you because this is tried and tested, it's not just something that I heard and said, okay, cool. There was one moment that I came and I was struggling with something and I needed to cry. I couldn't figure out what to do when I was so constricted and I remember I slipped away in my parents' garage and nobody knew I was there, it was that nighttime. And as a Muslim or a South Asian, we learned the art of crying silently, or at least I did, and I went into that garage and it was dark and I just put my head on the floor and I started crying because the only thing that I needed at that moment was a hug of Allah and I didn't know, I was like Allah, I don't know what I need, I need your love, I need your love, I need you to hug me. I just, everything that was coming out of me was just that and I cried for 15 minutes on the floor in the dark.  I'm kind of changing that with my mama forcing her hugs. And my brother comes down, turns on the light, looks at me.  Those 15 minutes were not heard by nobody but Allah. My head was on that floor crying and asking him for hug and who Allah knew that I needed my mother's hug at that moment and he gave it to me and the peace that came over me at that moment. And the very next day, the troubles that I was going through, I didn't even get to ask him what the trouble I was going through and he solved my problem the next day. Share another story with you. As a single mom, there are a lot of struggles and a lot of challenges, you know, and I was going through that and, you know, I remember I was dropping my children off to school and, you know, and someone had said something to me that really hurt me and takes a lot for me to be hurt. And I felt like, okay, I'm going through this struggle, you understand this, you know this, but why, okay, all right. And I was so shocked hearing that and it shook me, it shook me to my core but then I said to myself, okay, all right, what do I need to change in this? Oh, Allah, I know you said this for a reason for me so you know what, I'm gonna take this and I'm gonna do something about it, I'm gonna change. You know what, that still hurts. That really hurts, that entire day I cried. That entire day I cried and cried and cried and at that night I was still crying by myself. And I said, Allah, I know I'm gonna take this and I'm gonna take this as an opportunity and a lesson to change because I know I need to change. So I'm gonna change. But Allah, that really hurt and I don't know what I need, I'm sorry. And I cried all night. The very next day as I was dropping my child to school, that same individual saw me and started walking towards me and raised their hands out and said, I am so sorry. I thought of you all night, how could I have said this to you? I broke down crying because guess what, I didn't tell this individual anything and I cried all night.  And here I was crying all night and here she was thinking about me all night. And not only that, Allah swt turned her into a resource for me. So this is something that I take in my life when I am struggling. A struggle is no big or small, there's no measurement of struggle. Anything that you feel hardship about, just talk to him, tell him, Allah, I'm hurt, I'm hurt, I'm hurt. If you don't have words, Allah, just say Allah, there are many times where I would be driving and I just, all I am doing is saying Allah and crying because I don't have the words. And SubhanAllah, another tip that I do, and I'm sorry, I think I'm taking more time, but another tip that I do is that sometimes when I'm crying to Allah and I'm just crying, there was this one moment recently that I kept saying, oh Allah, I need you, I need you, I need you. I didn't know what else to say. Again, I felt like I need you, I don't know what to do. I need you and I'm here, can you hear me? And right after that, something I like to do is I have books of 99 names of Allah. I like to just close my eyes, take the book and just open it and see what name do I come up with. And that day when I was crying, I cried for almost an hour at night silently. And I opened the book and the attribute for the name that came up as I opened it was, Al-Qarib, Al-Mujib, the one that is near and the one that answers. And all I was doing was crying and asking him to be next to me, to listen to me. And Allah reminded me that I am here. Just as he reminds me that he is near and here, he is here for all of you. He is always going to be here. So seek him. JazakAllah al-Qarim. As-salaamu alaikum. JazakAllah al-Qarim, that's such a beautiful reminder Masha'Allah. And I loved how you put Sejda in that way as a hug of Allah, Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala and to know that he's always with us, you know, no matter what we're going through and to know that as long as we're close to him, insha'Allah that he will resolve and fix matters for us no matter what we're going through. And I'm going to go out of limb here on a limb and say that I don't think that you had zero likeability Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala. I think it was Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala saving you and protecting you for the right friends, people that are actually worth your time. So I want to take a moment here and do a question and answer session. Okay, my question is the day to day the day to day when you struggle, reminding yourself that it's for Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta'ala because I'm the one who struggles with hijab because the inner doll wants to just always be there.  Really don't want to put it on. Then you just remind yourself that it's for Allah and not resent the whole day. The sun is shining, the sun is there and I can't feel it. How do you progress and keep that solid grounding? This is for Allah all the time because it does come, faith comes and it goes and then you're just like, man, I just really I'm gonna stay home today because I just don't have it in me to go out and cover. Yeah, jazakla, okay, and for sharing that. You know, you said it right. Faith comes in and out in so many different levels. Eman comes in and out. We're not expected to have this equilibrium of Eman. Nobody, if that was it, we're gonna be in jannah, man. You know, that's not this world. It happens and there are going to be days that you have that. Those are the days that you push through just a little bit harder. It's not just about reminding yourself, okay, this is for the sake of Allah. Sit with yourself. Sit with yourself that, yes, today this is hard for me. Yes, today I don't feel like wearing it Allah. It's so hard for me to wear it today. I really don't want to wear it. It's okay to feel that way. It's okay to tell yourself that. Acknowledge that because what you're doing is you're fighting your soul.  It's okay, let it come. Sit with that emotion. And reminder, so that, okay, today was harder. What was easier for me the other day? What made it easier? Okay, maybe the sun wasn't out. That made it easier, right? It was cold. Yeah, it was cold. There's snow on the mountains. Yeah, I know, there's snow on the mountains. But it's okay. Continue to, there are gonna be daily things that you have to do to replenish your soul, right?  If we don't do things to recharge our battery, it's going to be so much more harder to continue to do that. Just like a bank ATM, right? You need to put in money to take out money.  So for that, start to, you know, some things that I've done that have helped me is that I read the salat-e-salam on the Prophet's salat-e-salam every single day. I read the astaghfar every single day. This helps, this helps me in going through, because one salam on the Prophet's salat-e-salam gives you 10 mercies from Allah. And perhaps one of those mercies is gonna be that strength to plow through. So may Allah make it easy on you. I have one more question to add. So I feel like there's a little bit of disconnect between our generation, like 30s and younger, is like, we understand, it was like post-9-11 and everything, but we don't understand what the sahabi'at really struggled with, because all we ever hear is, they tore their clothes and they put it on their hijab and they were like, that bad, you know, they were like so hardcore. And then we're over here like, ugh, so bad. So like what examples do we have of them struggling or them going through their lives and what hijab was like for them back then, so that we can be like, oh, they've been there, they've done that, you know, on top of replenishing our iman bank, you know, keeping that flow, but how do we also connect that our sisters in Islam went through this? They did it, it's written, you know. How do we connect that? Yeah, so I don't have any particular stories at the top of my head, but what I can share is when the command, how Allah swt brings down a command, it wasn't just, he brought it down just like this. There were years in between, one example would be, there was, when the command came down to pray, the muck and period, there was a lot of struggle that happened in the muck and period. And on one particular one, I remember hearing a sheikh talk about this that, about alcohol specifically, that alcohol wasn't said to, okay, that's it, can't do it. First was, okay, don't be intoxicated while coming near prayer. Then it was another step, then it was another step. When the migrated to the Medinan period, there was 10 years of that, then came the commandment down to now, no more alcohol. It was baby steps. We today think like, okay, you know, especially for our converts, our reverts, you know, that okay, now you're Muslim, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, no. Start slowly, start slowly and work on it. Just like the progression piece is that, you put your hijab on, may not wear your clothes properly today, that's okay. Maybe that act of yours is going to give you the strength later to conform and change to that. Maybe Allah loves an act of yours that He will give you that strength and guide you to that, right? We try to see, okay, they did it, but they struggled. They struggled a lot before they were able to do it. And this is our struggle. This is, and you shouldn't look at it as, oh, this is just a very little struggle compared to what they did. No, this is your struggle, own your struggle. It's okay to have this struggle. So, you know, it's essentially, you know, kind of working towards that. And I'm sorry, I think I lost track of the question that you had. I don't know if I, for the previous, the past, yeah. So, there are probably a lot more stories. I unfortunately don't have that on the top of my head, I apologize. Salaamu Alaykum. My question revolves around the hyper acceptance in our current society and the standards that neoliberalism has in terms of clumping us with other agendas and then having those neoliberals start talking about things like Mehta Amini and Iran and them using hijab and saying it's basically like a weaponization and it's a form of oppression. So, how do our young ones kind of reconcile the fact that these neoliberals want them to feel like they're welcomed but then they have to welcome everybody but then all of a sudden are blackballed because of things that are happening in other parts of the world that have nothing to do with the commandment of hijab in our faith. So, I probably am not the best person to address this. I am, you know, but in terms of, I think the question was how do we help our youth recognize? It to reconcile the fact that, you know, there's the far left, right? And how they want to welcome everybody and everyone's welcome and you see those posters everywhere. Gotcha.  So, you know, there's a lot of extremism in our community, right, in our cultures, right? We go from one end to another end very quickly. And part of the issue is learning and understanding what our own extremisms are within us. What, how do we reconcile with, okay, if we see this happen, is it logical asking ourselves these questions, gaining insight into, okay, if one person was persecuted because of this, does that mean that the entire, you know, symbol needs to be persecuted? This is, you know, unfortunately media news, they don't share the entirety of the story. They don't share all of that. It's based off of people's feelings and emotions and thoughts and desires. It comes right back to how we are interpreting that, how much do we know of it and how much are we giving into it? How much are we giving into that? And part of the, you know, part of the struggle in today's generation of youth is to recognize what our desires are. Recognize what is it that we want and how is it being projected onto the community, projected out into the society and how they are using that against our youth. This idea that we have to be free, what's the definition of freedom? That's what everybody has to ask themselves. What is your definition of freedom? Is it this? Is it going to this extreme because somebody was persecuted unlawfully that you're gonna go ahead and just do this? Is that what we are teaching ourselves? Or do we look at it from a different point of view that, hey, okay, something bad happened here. This is wrong. But why are we labeling everything with it? So that's sort of my thoughts about it. I apologize. I may not have answered that as justly as possible, but I think we do need to, as parents, really talk about these with our youth. I mean, it's not just, all right, you gotta do this and this is how it's done or this is wrong. We have to explain. And we have to start talking about who Allah is and what this religion is about. We come from generations that we had told certain definitions of our deen and we don't really understand the depths of it, but there's so much in it. So if we don't share that with our youth, if we don't guide them that way, if we don't get them to start thinking critically, then we are already behind. So if you don't do that now, do it today, open up, talk about it. Listen, listen to our youth and what they're thinking and what they're feeling, because yes, it's about, sometimes it's about validating your own daughters struggles. It's about validating all of that. And if you can, and I'm sure daughters, if moms just said, okay, baby, I understand, or I'm here to listen to you, I'm sure you'd open up a little bit more to your mamas as well. So inshallah, may Allah make it easy on you. That was really good, thank you. Yeah, you're gonna live worse than that. Okay, so one of the things that comes to mind first is that it sounds like you know that, okay, this is what I'm going to do it. You've made a plan, so you've made a plan. And now it sounds like you're testing out that plan with others, maybe it's your family. Maybe you're telling them, so either you're wanting to see either approval or disapproval from it. And the first thing is to ask yourself, okay, is my plan something I want to do? Am I just saying it because I'm being told I have to do this? Am I just throwing it out that I'm gonna do this? Or am I stalling? Am I doing this? What am I doing? What am I saying this for? Why am I making this plan? Right, and so I know it's hard sometimes, as I'm a parent now, right, and I come from both sides of wanting to not wear it to wanting to wear it and to having daughters who wear it. And I know it's discouraging when you hear like you're not gonna live, yes, that's correct. I don't know whether I'm going to live tomorrow, that I have made an intention that this is when I am going to start. And I ask Allah to help me with this. That is a response that you can start with because it is about intention. Make your intention first, make your resolve. Make sure that you've made that resolve with Allah, that oh Allah, please help me with this. I've made a plan because we plan that Allah plans. And perhaps that simple, sincere intention of yours, Allah might even put it in your heart and make it easy. And maybe tomorrow you wear it. Maybe you don't, maybe you wear it on the 11th grade, but maybe when you wear it, you are solid when you wear it. And for the people that tell this young woman that you're gonna live the next day, yes, that's right, you may not live, but her intention is what's going to count here. We don't know if that intention is what's going to get her to solidify. Maybe she wears it tomorrow and takes it off the next day because she wasn't ready. Or maybe she wears it when she gets into 11th grade and she puts it on and she goes full force with it and she is strong and confident because she chose that time to wear it. She chose herself to build herself to get to that point. It's a building process. It's not a do it and do it now. So that's my thoughts on that. No question. I think the sister there wanted to say something to you. So I became Punjabi in sixth grade and it was like my choice. And since I was in middle school, I've had a lot of people say stuff to me. I'm still in eighth grade. I'm still in middle school. And I've had several situations, especially with boys. And I've been touched. They touch my Punjab and they send messages around about me. And the school does nothing about it. And I've gone multiple times and I don't know what to do. First, Mayola, make this easy on you and grant you justice in all the injustice that you are going through. My advice, number one, is to get your family involved. It is absolutely not okay for that to happen. I have seen with my own eyes when I was in those grades of the hijabs being snatched off the hairs of girls. And it is absolutely not okay to have that. And you should not have to deal with this alone. Get your support system in there. Talk to your family, get your family in there. There are advocates out there. And specifically if this is happening and nothing is happening, get care involved. Care is a very good resource. So if the school isn't doing anything, get them involved. Get more people involved. Mayola, make it easy on you. I know it is not easy at all. I've seen it. I've been in that situation. And just keep standing tall and keep asking Allah. Allah is Al-Adal, the most just. He will surely find a way. I have a question too. I'm start working at high school. I'm working at high school. There are all like teenagers over there.  She looks scary because she wore hijab. And the teacher and principal doesn't tell me anything. And I talk with my family and they said, you can remove your hijab because in Quran, they didn't like exactly say that you have to wear it. But I said the principal and the teachers didn't tell me anything about my hijab.  But yeah, some like a lot of jobs, I didn't hire because I wear hijab. And in the free month, it's good. A lot of people wear hijab, but I'm living in San Jose. So over there, a lot of people didn't wear hijab. And when you wear hijab, they, everyone's like staring you or talking about you. I'm just like confused. Like, I don't know about a lot of like, search a little bit of Quran, but they exactly didn't tell that you have to wear. But I don't know what to say. So, you know, I'm not a scholar. So I'm not gonna comment on the commandment. And I would encourage you to speak to a scholar for that portion of it. But in terms of the other things, right? I'm just gonna remind that, yes, that's hard. That's really hard to do. And I understand how difficult it is. Sometimes, and as I was mentioning earlier, that the negativity around us really makes it difficult for us to continue wearing what we wear. And it's hard to do that. But my sincere and humble advice is to look at the names of Allah. And one of the names of Allah is Ar-Razaq, the risk giver.  So whether you have your hijab or whether you don't have your hijab, that is written for you. And maybe perhaps there is a bigger wisdom in you going through this and perhaps the struggle that you go and the steadfastness that you show. And maybe perhaps within that, Allah SWT gives you something much greater than that. So my advice to you is keep your faith in Allah. Talk to people. Ask scholars what to do in this instance and share your experience about it. I know you're saying that the administration isn't doing anything about it, but maybe perhaps suggesting to the administration how to teach children how to be tolerable, tolerant of other people's religion. The staff need to come together and provide workshops. I mean, that's essentially the issue in today's schooling, public schools is that there's no character development happening. These kids are saying whatever, doing whatever, and it's running wild and there's no development like that happening. So it really takes a bigger effort. And maybe perhaps through you, Allah uses you to gather that and inform others. Maybe there's other people that are going through this, but maybe through you, Allah uses to guide others and help others. So I would encourage you, inshallah, to continue to seek out that help. I think we have one question here and one last question. Sometimes I ask Allah to help me with my struggles, but then I feel zero connection with him and the issue doesn't pass. This has happened before with my feelings about hijab, me asking Allah to support me and help me through it from the deepest depths of my heart, but the help never came, any advice. This is a heavy one, right? And I will say that I sometimes have these thoughts. It's like, okay, do I feel the connection right now? Do I feel it? But what does that feeling feel like? Do we have a particular feeling that we're supposed to have when we have that connection? So you have to ask yourself, and this is something that I've asked myself is that, do I only feel connected when I'm sad about something and I'm talking to Allah? Is that when I feel connected? How come I don't feel connected now? It reminds me of the companions who came to the Prophet so I said hello and said, oh Prophet, so Allah, I said hello. When we are with you, we cry and we cry about it. We think about Allah, we think about the afterlife where we're so much into it, but when we go back to our families, we laugh and we forget. The Prophet, so Allah said hello and please forgive me if I'm saying this wrong but just paraphrasing here that, that if you were always like that, then you'd be angels. Hello, Allah, and may Allah forgive me. I don't remember the last part of it, but we're not meant to always be like that. We're not meant to always be in this constant state of, I'm connected. Those connections come in many different forms. Maybe perhaps you feel that there's a particular expectation on how that feeling or how that connection is supposed to look like or supposed to feel like and you're waiting for that to happen. But maybe perhaps think about it. Is there any other things happening in your life that Allah swt is doing for you? Are there any other things that Allah is bringing for you that maybe perhaps might somewhat help you in that moment? Maybe perhaps it's sitting here and listening to others going through that struggle. Help comes, help always comes but it doesn't come in the form that we wanted to come. It doesn't come in the form that we think it's going to come. And maybe perhaps that du'a that you're reading, remember there's three things that happens when you read du'as. One is that it gets accepted right away or that it is delayed for you and given to you later.  And just maybe, and Allah w'alum, just maybe just a thought out there that if you feel like, okay, if the last is true, if the last is true for you, maybe perhaps something else was supposed to come for you and take you away from this deen and Allah swt is stopping that from happening and that you are still doing it.  You are still connected to Him.  That is connection. I think that's... Subhanallah, speaking of help, it reminds me of the story of Siddh-e-Hajar where she was left. I was just doing the story of Prophet Rahim and he left his son Ismail and Hajar in the desert and he told them, Allah swt will assist you, Allah will be there. But Subhanallah, Siddh-e-Hajar didn't wait. What did she do? She went and sought help for herself, right? She's seeking support. And same with Maryam, the mother of Aisa. She had to shake the palm day. So there's an element of effort from ourselves. Yes, of course, always make du'a but seek help and seek support. And Subhanallah, that segues into our next slide here. We're trying to start a sisterhood for young girls, high school, college age, just a social group, girls that want to wear hijab but maybe don't wanna wear it alone in public. So these are just social outings. You can scan the QR code and it links to our Instagram page where if you wanna go out with a group of sisters for the young girl, I would say for what should she do, right? Insulate yourself, find people that support you, find like-minded sisters, engage with them and surround yourself with those. So this is a perfect opportunity for high school, college-aged girls that are interested in hijab, maybe or already wear hijab but these are hijab wearing outings. So if you don't wanna wear it on your own, I know for me growing up when I was with my sisters, I always felt more confident and safe in my hijab. So if you're in ninth, 11th, 10th grade and you're kind of on that cusp, whether you do or you don't, going to these types of events with other sisters outside of the masjid, right? Experiencing it in public can really be transformative, inshallah. So I'll leave that up for another moment. And then for our sisters who maybe don't wear hijab yet at all with Ramadan coming up, we wanted to start a support group to take the challenge of wearing hijab during Ramadan. This is a personal journey but this is just a WhatsApp group of support. So if you're feeling like you need someone to talk to, another sister can be there for you and support you so you don't feel alone. So you don't feel like you're doing it without any support and help, inshallah. So with that, we will move into our activities, our age-based activities. We'll have middle school grade, ages 12 to 14 in the conference room. The one that's here, the closer side. On the opposite end of that, we'll do the high school. The college aged plus 19 to 26 will be in the back. We've got some activities back there for you. And then in this main hall, we'll stay the age 27 plus and I've heard that there's an exciting game that they will be playing, which I'm excited to partake in. And sisters, if you would like, with the organization that I have, we do multiple events also for women and we've done socials and what have you, please take a look at us. It's called Wasila Connections. You can always come up to me and I can share that with you. Please share our organization, spread it, and if you can donate, inshallah, and make the offer it. Jazakulah al-Qa'idin. Jazakumullah al-Qa'id, and Jazakumullah al-Qa'id. Jazakumullah al-Qa'id to all the sisters who volunteered to put this event together. For weeks and weeks, mashallah, they were so dedicated and committed to this program.


Muslim ibn Aqeel because of this people left him all alone They did not think He lost all his supporters and then one day he comes and He prays in the masjid Looks behind no one is behind him praying nobody He walks out on the streets alone and old lady takes him in after she recognizes He is muslim ibn Aqeel the ambassador of Imam al-Husayn salam allahi alayhi He spends the night at her place Then unfortunately her son discovers that muslim is there he goes and he tells Awadullah ibn Ziyad they send him the army The army comes in the morning and starts attacking muslim ibn Aqeel He starts fighting bravely The army keeps on sending to obey the labna ziyad send us more men and more men He fights them bravely and they keep on asking for more men to fight against him and tell Obey the labna ziyad said to them I sent you to capture one man. I did not sent you to capture an army Why do you need so many men? They told him is this an ordinary man you told us to go capture. This is muslim ibn Aqeel This is one of the swords of bani hasham He comes from that noble family the bravery He is not an ordinary man Send us more men. They sent him about 1,000 men just to fight one man And he fought against them bravely and they still could not capture him They still because haqqa truth is always brave and strong Batil falsehood is always weak and shaken and hence it might take more than 1,000 to capture one man one man He fought against them bravely until they dug a hole and he fell into the hole That's when they managed to capture him. They took him to the palace of obey the labna ziyad They were had an exchange of words already labna ziyad started calling him some names But muslim ibn Aqeel with his integrity and honor said my master is abiy abdullahi al-qusay Then obey the labna ziyad tells him tells the people the guards to go take them take him up to the palace roof Cut his head off and throw his body from the top of the palace Those people who cut heads off today are the followers of such people like obey the labna ziyad They learned from them Rasulullah Amir al-Mu'mineen Ahlul-Bayt never did this never Not a single example in history exists with them doing it. It is these men who distorted the whole religion and those people are following their example When he takes him to the rooftop muslim ibn Aqeel tells the guard Give me few minutes. Let me pray to rukh al-salat. It means he was on the state of wudu It's musta habrothers and sisters always to be in the state of wudu and to always remember Allah He prayed to rukh al-salat Then he got up and turned towards Medina Towards Mecca and he said as-salamu alaika ya Abdullahi This is your cousin muslim ibn Aqeel O laloon in kufa At that time imam Hussein had left Mecca. This was on Arafah. He had just left Mecca It is said the narrator said imam al-Hussein was sitting with a group of people.


John's role is that of business manager, he's in charge of the finances of the school, he's also the office manager running a team of people. So his role is to provide the bedrock without which the school could not function. He caters for the needs of young people who pass through the office, he's very open and accessible and I think that he brings a richness to the school which was lacking before. We've done prom a yearbook, we've done Leave Us Hadidz and Stay Awake and all of them have evolved around some point nagging Mr Havel in the office and he's banked all the money for us done permission letters so everything's so patient and we'll go the extra mile for every person even though he's still so busy himself. He's a really nice guy that will do anything that you ask him to do and he's a real go getter and even if it puts him at a disadvantage he will try to do his best to make your life easier. As a modest indeed humble young man he was very shocked to be nominated for this award. I think it is richly deserved because of his capacity and belief in helping others both within school and outside school and I find that humbling.


I thought I had a pretty good day. Benched well, needed to show that. A lot of people being an undersized guy, everybody kind of focuses more on your speed and athleticism and quickness. But I had to show that I was a strong guy too. The vertical jump went well too. That was a PR for me. Never jumped over 30 inches before my dear life. So that was kind of cool. Getting up there, show some explosiveness. And then the running, I pulled my hamstring about exactly a week before. And I kind of knew that I was going to have to take it easy on it a little bit so I could do the whole entire pro day. And the 40, they have times on me, so I wasn't too worried about running that great of a time. I just kind of wanted to test it out and see how it felt. And I ended up running like a 5-3, which was not really close. I'm usually like a 5-1 guy, but I just kind of had to test it out and it wasn't 100%. So pro agility went well. I thought I did that pretty well. And then all the other running stuff thought I showed awesome quickness and what I needed to show. And I think I ended top 15 for at least everything in the combine. So that was kind of nice. And just kind of showing where I sit athletically was a goal of mine to prove that I can hang with the bigger school guys. And now it's just focusing on training for rookie mini-camps.  And from what I hear, it's crazy, the intensity of the practices. So I have to be in the best football shape of my life and just kind of working towards that and kind of leading out a little bit and so that I can run a little more and not huff and puff during practice. So that'll be kind of nice and just kind of building on good weight. And like I said, I had about two months to put on 20 pounds. So not all that was good weight, but for the most part, so that's my goal is just kind of keep adding that good weight and more lean and just get prepared for rookie mini-camps and for what's to come after that. And hopefully I get some in bites here through the next couple of weeks to go down to facilities and check that stuff out. And then yeah, draft is April 26th. And I'm not expecting to be drafted, but if I do, it'd probably be the 28th of the last day. And I'm just looking to get an opportunity and do what I can with it, kind of crazy. Being an offensive lineman, I'm not really used to being talked about. So it's kind of something different, but I love the kind words from PJ Fleck. He's a great guy, be a great guy to play for. Just out of high school, like you said in the paper, you can't blame the D1 schools for not recruit me because I was a full back in high school, running back and not very big and play for a very good high school. So it was kind of tough to get recruited. But you just got to take your opportunities, what I got when I came to BSU and build off of it and put me in the spot where I am right now and can't thank the coach staff and the strength staff and all the professors, everybody here enough for what they've done for me along the way. And give me this opportunity and I gotta thank God for giving me the opportunity as well. I got sick and I kind of found my faith and he's been a big part of my life and helping me build that and come back and come back as strong as I have and be as motivated as I have to give myself this opportunity to move on to the next level. So NSIC's top three conference for Division II in all the country. So great competition, always playing that higher caliber level of players and maybe in some other conferences. So that definitely helped out, just kind of going against some good competition and building off of that. And along 2016 or two seasons ago in my junior year, getting to go to the mineral water bowl and play some different competition in MIAA. And that's another top three conference in the country. So that was kind of nice to see where you're at. And then just kind of building off of that, getting down to ETS and training there for a little while and just happened to be where Adam Thielen trains at. So it's a good place to train and they did a good job of kind of tuning me up a little bit and getting me where I needed to be to turn some heads at the pro day. So I think I really shocked him at the bench and showed some strength. And I think that was kind of a question mark for them is how strong is he? And just film wise, I think I just kind of show a little bit of toughness, a little bit of nasty out on the field. And that's how you got to play as an offense lineman. You know, I'm athletic. I'm, you know, I can pick up offenses pretty quickly.   And so, you know, they wanted to see some of that.  And I was lucky enough to get an invite down to the college gridiron showcase in Texas. And, you know, it was a combination of a lot of D one schools, a couple D two guys and, you know, got to see the pace and show what I can do there.  And just got to sit back and, you know, do my due diligence to make sure I'm ready for any opportunity I get.   So I'll probably be an interior type guy play, you know, center guard. And then, you know, kind of the trick of being in the pro, being in the pro alignment is you just got to be able to play everything.   So yeah, definitely interior, but if I have to play outside, I'll play outside, keep putting on a little bit better weight, a little bit leaner weight. Continue to, you know, rehab my hammy.   You know, he's really nice of him to send me some of that professional film that he has so I can watch, you know, some of the guys at the next level that I want to model myself after, how they do it and just pick up on a little techniques and, you know, the speed of the game and, you know, making calls and just becoming a student of the game, I guess is a big goal in mind. Just continue to learn because that's what, you know, that's what it is at the next level. It's everybody's athletic, everybody's fast, everybody's strong, but it's who I was going to go that extra, you know, one, two percent to give themselves an edge over everybody else and I was also lucky enough to work with Matt Burke a little bit. He was a former Viking center and then he went to Baltimore and he played a long time in the league and gave me some pointers on just, you know, flexibility and stretching out and, you know, how he had such a long career and avoided injury and just what that little extra one percent that he did and to give him an edge to allow him to play for so long and, you know, really be one of the best interior offense linemen to play the game. So yeah, it's just finding your niche and finding that one, two percent edge that you can get yourself the advantage over your competition. So.


Hi Carly, Coach Tori and Coach Megan here. We wanted to reach out to give you a huge congratulations on earning a female rookie athlete of the year, a huge honor, a well-deserved. We are so proud of you and we cannot wait to see you soon and get back on the ice. Yeah Carly, great job. You definitely earned it this year. We just can't wait to see how you build off of your freshman year and see what you can give us the next three years. Congratulations. Thank you.


I welcome to the 21st meeting of the Criminal Justice Committee. We have apologies this morning from Collette Stevenson and I welcome Jackie Dunbar to the meeting as a committee substitute. I would like to invite members to decide, first of all, whether to take item 3 in private and any subsequent consideration of progress made on implementing the committee's recommendations in its report on the priorities for the criminal justice sector in Scotland to take those in private today and at future meetings. Are we agreed? Our next item of business is consideration of correspondence received from Police Scotland and the Scottish Police Federation on the potential impact on police numbers of new pension arrangements. The correspondence was received following a request from the committee to the chief constable asking for an update on the matter after consideration of an SSI. I refer members to paper 1 and I will open it up for any members to come in with any comments that you may have. Jamie, do you want to come in? Yes, so I'm just quite clear on what's the format of this morning's sessions. I'd just like to open it up in terms of the correspondence that would receive the two pieces of correspondence. I'm just keen for us to have a discussion in relation to members' views on the content of the letters. So bring in Jamie and then yourself Russell. Of course, thank you, convener. Good morning. Yes, of course, I think naturally members would be concerned by the content of the correspondence, statistically for the benefit of those interesting proceedings. It was confirmed to us that on average 812 officers leave the organisation annually. What was identified to us was that in quarter one of this year already 321 officers have left, which is a 69 per cent increase on the normal retirement rate, which is a five-year average, so quite consistent, and it's directly related to retirements. There is a proposition that if that carried on, of course those numbers would only increase and be much higher than the normal retirement rate. Of course, there is a range of views and I'm happy to hear what other members say on this and maybe come back in later, but there's a range of views on the likely cause of such. I think there's two angles to this that we should explore as a committee. The first is what are those causes, but secondly, what is the effect? It's the effect that perhaps we're most worried about in terms of a loss of officer numbers and what will be done about that. Unfortunately, we don't have a lot of time left in the session before a recess, but I think it will be prudent to take further evidence of this as soon as we can. What will have happened by September, who knows, but it seems a long way away from here. Noting the response from the Scottish Police Federation to these statistics, given that it seems to me that the view of the police of Police Scotland or perhaps the SPA is that this is to do with changes to pension commutation calculations and eligibility to retire, whilst that's accepted as perhaps one reason that's also perhaps refuted by the SPF, who admit that there is an advantageous financial option to consider early retirement. However, that's not the only reason. Callum Stale quotes on the record in all this is available for the benefit of the public that our officers are overworked and undervalued, specifically raising the issue of having their wrists disrupted, and I think that's one issue that has come through when you speak to front-line officers. The physical and mental toll that the job was taking on them and they feel that they're failing the wider public and their ability to carry out their role. So it clearly is a much more complicated issue than simply that of financial pension commutations. I guess what that will then lead to is discussions around workforce planning, whether any of this was foreseen, whether we believe that Police Scotland or ministers are heeding warnings about retirements as a result of health exhaustion and just sheer exasperation in the force, or whether there's perhaps an element of denial of that. I guess what we're worried about is how that will impact future numbers layered on top of that, the proposed potential action that the SPF recommended, which was announced yesterday, and what effect that might have on a more limited number of officers having to do the work of people who are not just not there, but people who are working to rule as well. I think that there's a lot going on there, but I hope that that opens up the conversation at the very least. Thank you, convener. When I read the letter from David Page from Police Scotland, there was a paragraph that I jumped out at me and underlined in it when he said, there's no impact to service delivery, that being in relation to what's fair to describe as an exodus of police officers, some of them with great number of years of experience. Then when I turned to the letter from Callum Steele of the Scottish Police Federation, he had also quite strongly questioned this and his take on the actual claim by Mr Page, and it's there for everyone to see, is that this is demonstrably untrue and verging on the deliberately disingenuous and goes on to point out that Police Scotland has the lowest number of police officers since 2008 and concludes by saying of Police Scotland, if it's not honest about them to itself, whilst simultaneously seeking to present a highly partial narrative about them to our parliamentarians. It's quite extraordinary that the General Secretary of the Scottish Police Federation is effectively saying that Police Scotland are misleading us as MSPs and as a committee, and I think that that's absolutely vital that we get to the bottom of this and work out exactly what this pension issue and its cause and officer numbers is going to actually mean for policing in communities. Okay, thank you very much. Pauline? Thank you, convener. I agree with the points that we made so far, and as Russell said, there's a slightly different perspective from the Police Scotland versus the Police Federation, so I think it's important that we do establish why, when one thing is clear, that there's higher numbers than usual leaving police service, so why is that the case? For me, from what I've read, the phrase in the Federation letter that says that police officers feel undervalued is no great surprise to me. My perspective anyway during the pandemic, I can't for the life of me understand why police officers will not give them priority for vaccination, for example. Obviously, that was a matter of the GCVI, but in reality I kind of felt that no-one was really standing up for police officers, and as we in this committee have been examining, police officers are the one provision that cannot walk away from problems, whether it's dealing with the 101 calls to mental health issues or crime, and we now know that a lot of the calls that police officers deal with are not directly related to crime. That's got to be recognised in some way, but for us as a committee, I think that it's the loss of experience that concerns me most. I've looked at the breakdown of the ranks, I mean it's pretty spread across the ranks, but I actually think that there's a sense of urgency about this because if those numbers are correct and we lose that level of experience at all those grades, no level of recruitment is going to compensate for that. It's a service already under pressure, so I think that there are service implications for that, that I do think that we need to discuss with the Government, and for me it must be around the pay and service conditions issue. I mean, I'll say lastly, my concern as a politician is we've got to try and do the right thing, I think, and when I try to try and retain some of those officers, if the federation are correct, they say it's a minor change to pensions that police officers could always leave 30-year service, 30-year, 25-year service, but there's been a minor change to that and that isn't the reason why they're leaving. If that's correct, I think that there's a duty on the Government to make some inroads into paying conditions that would persuade some of those officers to leave, sorry to stay, because if they don't stay, I think that we've got real service issues in the police service. A lot of what I was going to say has been covered, I think, particularly the pension points that obviously we'd want to understand, but I do think that it's quite important that we do get on top of exactly where we are on police at the moment, given what's coming in terms of the spending review and the cuts of what I understand to be in the region of 20 per cent in real terms that are coming between now and 2026. Obviously, not everything is to do with money, a lot of it's to do with morale, the two things can be intertwined, but I think as a committee this is a useful opportunity to perhaps leap ahead of where we would have been in looking at budgets to look at how much money is the police service going to have because pay must be one of the major ways that that money is spent, so I'm sure it's not just all about pay, it will be far more complicated than that, but pay is obviously going to be one of the factors and it is intertwined with morale, so it would be useful, I think, as a committee to gather as much information as is available on all of that and perhaps make more inquiries so we can take an early view on that rather than perhaps waiting into the end of this year or next year when we're sort of looking at the budgets in more detail. I just wanted to say, and I think we know that it's not the first time that Police Scotland and the Federation have had differing opinions as a regular occurrence, and I think that the reality is that 440 of the 735 officers who've retired or about to retire have 25 to 29-year service. They're perfectly entitled to retire, that's the reality of it, it's just the demographic of it. I'm not quite sure what we can do, there's nothing we can do to stop that, that's their right to do that. Police Scotland say they're going to try and recruit more than 300 probationers a quarter, and I'm sure they'll make every attempt to do that, and also look at transferring opportunities from across the police force and people doing different functions to get them into the police force. This isn't just happening in Police Scotland, I think it's happening in a lot of public services, health etc. We're just at that point where a lot of people with a lot of service are retiring, and that's just the reality of it. So I appreciate the concerns, I don't think we should hit the panic button because they will sort this out, and as I say, people are perfectly entitled to take their pension when they have done that length of service. I don't think anybody would deny them that. Thanks very much, Shona. Fulton. Thanks, convener, and I agree generally with all the points that have been made, including from the first few members that spoke about some of the difficulties that Police Scotland are quite clearly facing, but also what Rona has highlighted there in terms of perhaps aligning what this committee's role could be in that, and obviously there's processes to go through in terms of paying negotiations and such like, which I know are on-going. I wanted just to highlight that Pauline did touch on it, but I found one of the quotes from Colin Seill quite strong, and I think we do need to, from his letter, and I think we do need to get to the bottom of that, to understand what it is, and I'll read it out. It's also noteworthy that palpable anger remains across the PSOS as to how police officers were treated by government, the service and the SPA during the height of the coronavirus pandemic, so I do think that we need to maybe try and understand what that's referring to. Pauline raised the issue of vaccinations. Is it just that, or are there other things going on? We need to tease out what that means, because this committee could have a role in maybe trying to understand that and give advice, if you like, about how that could be improved. I found that quite a strong statement in the letter. Thank you for letting me back in, but obviously when you're first to go, it opens up the can of worms. Is the issue around backfilling positions and Rona Mackay's right to point out that the aim, and the wording is very specific from Police Scotland, is that we will endeavour to recruit 300 probationers per quarter, so if you tie that out at 1200 per year, it's still less than the number retiring, but there is obviously a time lag involved in this from the recruitment to the being live on the job process, and it's fair to assume that the majority of those who will graduate and go into service will not be going in at the higher end of the roles. It is quite notable that so many of those leaving in the next 12 months of the 1377, around half of them are at PC level, and that's a substantial number, but of course people of this cohort of 300 per quarter, it's unlikely that many of them will be going into roles as chief inspector, superintendent or chief superintendent, so there is an inevitability that those higher ranking roles will not be filled quickly, and that's where that loss of experience is important. Rona is right to say that people 30 years service will be, and if it was me, I'd be thinking about my retirement as well, however it's the right at it which could cause worry, so there may not be a panic button now, but I don't think we're far round the corner from pressing the panic button on this because we don't really know how many they will recruit, we don't know how long it will take them to get into active service, I think these are questions we must ask Police Scotland. I'm notwithstanding the pay dispute, which obviously has its own process, if there is the real terms budget cut that is forecast and is widely acknowledged, what effect will that have, is that a capital resource or resource budget cut or both, and what effect that will have on that churn increased as well. We don't want to get to a point in a year, 18 months, two years time, where they say, we told you so, the numbers are far lower than what is needed. The police are already talking about moving people into front line services that currently work in the force but aren't in, for example, local policing. I'm not quite sure what corporate service roles are and why those people are doing those roles and not local policing or front line policing, but if they're already having to take people out of those to fill in gaps, then that begs the question who will prefer all those back office roles that obviously need to be done. If they need to be done, there wouldn't be people doing them. I think there are a whole bunch of questions that arise from the correspondence that we've had and we should either try and take evidence from or write with requesting more detail on that. I'd quite like to see a forecast plan of numbers actually and what rank people will be at. Police surely will be doing long-term resource planning for the next couple of years. That might give us a better idea of when we see the crossover between everything being just about manageable to their being a major issue for us and the sooner we get sight of that, if that doesn't exist, that's great, but those projections should be quite easy to forecast given the numbers. Do you mean the ranks of those who are planning to retire? I presume that there's modelling taking place within Police Scotland to know what level they expect people who come into the system new to then rise up through ranks into new positions. There must be an average rate of promotion, for example. I think that looking at that in the round, we should be able to take snapshots of future years given projections on retirement rights, recruitment rights and promotional time lags. I presume that this all happens as a matter of course, given the scale of the organisation. There will be people who are far better at that than us, but let's see what it looks like. I want to know what those graphs look like for the next 12, 24, 36 months, because if at any point they demonstrate that there's a dip and there's a problem, then those gaps—I don't know how on earth we're going to fill those gaps, because there's not the sort of jobs that we can just draft people in to do quickly and easily, so I'm maybe a little bit more concerned than other members. Turning back to the letter from the Scottish Police Federation, I know that the General Secretary is perhaps not slow in coming forward, but I think that so many elements of what he says are really strong and really quite concerning. Going back to two of the points that Rona raised about intent to recruit new officers, he describes an apparent annual accounting chicanery of mass recruitment before each quarterly publication. In terms of perhaps bringing in officers from elsewhere, whether that's other police forces in the UK or elsewhere, the language that police use was maximising transfer-e opportunities, which he describes as meaningless corporate language. I think that such is the strength of difference between those two submissions. What underpins all of this is the financial situation. The stagnant budget for the next few years is not just stagnant but with inflation represents serious cuts, so this is going to be a huge issue for us. That's a helpful discussion. A lot of points are raised legitimately so. For myself, without a tall diminishing what is happening, this is an exceptional departure of police officers in terms of the numbers involved. Ordinarily, as members know, Police Scotland has an exodus of officers year on year. That can, to a certain extent, be the numbers that can be dictated by 30 years previously when, for example, you had in the 70s high numbers of recruited officers courtesy of, for example, paying conditions improving. To a certain extent, provisional forces before Police Scotland and now Police Scotland have experience of managing that kind of changing staff profile. However, I would certainly agree that this is an unusual set of circumstances arising out of the change in the pension provisions and arrangements. It is really important that we have been able to put our views on the record. We have obviously published the letters that were received from Police Scotland and the Police Federation, which were helpful. It is also important to note that the Scottish Police Authority has an important role in managing and responding to the issue. I would propose, if members are agreeable to it, that, given that we are just a couple of weeks away from recess, we should perhaps ask Police Scotland for its initial response to the letter of correspondence from the Police Federation to comment on the concerns that it has raised. In terms of the underpinning potential budget issues, that is something that we can also consider and pick up in our forthcoming budget scrutiny process. At this point in the year, if members are agreeable, as a starting point, that we write to Police Scotland and ask for their response to the Federation's comments. Obviously, we very much keep the situation under review and revisit it where we feel that is required. Are members agreeable to that? Can I request that we write back to the Federation to ask them to clarify or expand on the language that they are using around what their plans are over the next few months? We want to be sitting so that we will not be able to react to things that are urgent, but they are using language like in terms of the potential industrial action that they may take as sustained, impactful, and there are other words around that, which I think strike some warning bells. It would be helpful to know exactly what they mean by that, what sort of action are they considering or might they do, and what effect or impact that might have on local policing or front-line services. I think that the problem is that if we wait until the middle of September, it may already have started. I think that our constituents have been more than concerned to think that there might be any impact on front-line policing that might commence more quickly than in three months' time. It is up to them to clarify what they mean by that, not for us to make conjecture around it, but I do not see any harm in asking them. I have no objection to that, but the press has spoken publicly about not answering phone calls and rest days. There is a lot of stuff that, in most jobs, you are not required to do, you do it. It is the goodwill side of things, but I do not mind if what you are asking for is for them to clarify in writing what range of actions. It is all very well speaking to newspapers, but it has been nice to speak to us about it. Anybody else want to come in on Jamie's suggestion? I have mixed feelings on that. On the one hand, I understand where you are coming from. On the other hand, I am quite keen for us not to conflate what we are looking at. The Federation has been very clear in the terms in which it has written to us. Members have no doubt about what their concerns are. If members are happy to write to the Federation for some clarity, I am agreeable to that. However, I am keen for us to keep this quite focused in the meantime. The other option that we would probably be relevant is to write to the Scottish policing authority to ask what it is doing by way of monitoring what is happening in the immediate term. I agree with myself. I hear where Jamie is coming from. In principle, I do not have any objection to it, but I think that it might muddy the water a bit, especially in a period in which we are getting into recess. If we write to both of them and we are asking Police Scotland to respond to this letter, what I would rather do is perhaps a compromise. I will write to Police Scotland just now to get their response and then obviously we will be in recess at that point, but then perhaps leave at your discretion whether we then write to the SPA as well. You keep in mind that members have requested that. I would say that that might be because, if we write to both just now, then Police Scotland might—there might be other things that they want to respond to in the second letter back from the SPA. Members are agreeable. My proposal would be that, in the first instance, we write back to Police Scotland and we also write to the Scottish policing authority. I will park the idea of writing back to the Federation for the moment. I think that we have a very clear idea of their position on that and we can review that in due course. Are members agreeable to that? That concludes the public part of our meeting and we will now move into private session.