Hey I'm Siobhan McTay, I study Irish and media studies and I'm running for the position of engagement and development on your students' union. My name is Sean Cares, I'm a B-Ed 4 student in St Pat's campus DCU and I'm running for to be this year's VP for engagement and development. I'm pretty good at hooping and I've won many competitions in the Balamore family festival in Kite to Leisure. Yeah years in a row like it's just and then I thought I used to think that everyone was good at it and then when you realize not everyone is good at hooping you think you're tough. I can do something really weird with my ear, I actually can like it's not even funny like I can talk my ear and yeah that's probably one of the weird ones sorry. My proudest moment in DCU is without a doubt winning worst skier on the DCU's snow sports trip this year in Andorra. I'm honoured and I can understand why because I just like obviously pieced the slice the whole way down the mountain and one of days my ski actually fell off a cliff so I think that's the reason why. I didn't think I was that bad at the time but that's what happens when you ski fall off a cliff. Student of the Pre-Station Day third year, the best moment in Pat's student of the Pre-Station Day third year was just an unbelievable day of events we had started with Marty Moen that you're all doubtful about. Turned out he was class in the Cat and the Cage and we had an event in a big tree and then eventually ended up in the Academy of Sigala and it was amazing like. Hashtag return of the Mac. Don't forget who cares, Sean cares.


I decided to trust you guys and listen to Kikuo. Now, how did it go? It's the dancing frog! Yeah Yeah, okay. Yeah, so in this video I reacted to love me. Love me. Love me. Love me. Yes I decided to trust Bob one last time dance of the frogs song of the night You're a worthless child Why does that have to be so like Straight to the point And the last one hold one. I see you guys. I see you guys You guys wanted me to get into Kikuo because I've already experienced the worst This oh No, this is isn't it. Oh No It's about abuse Very bad abuse. Thank God I experienced the worst first because this was a great experience and it all starts off with love me love me love me What's this circus sound Okay, wait The song's got something going. It actually sounds good That was cool. Ah So this song's about Like a child wanting love. It's not that bad. It's not that bad I can be like that orchestra person that does the thingies with their fingers. They finger people wait Sorry, I'm pausing that because I put on subtitles The YouTube subtitles to understand the song and I just realized they somehow gave the subtitles because look it says I Like you there. I turn it off. It disappears.  That is just an Insane talent right there. I mean the song is actually really good But the subtitles this is just cool. I want to know how to do that. Oh But will I ever do it? probably not but anyways So filthy. Oh, just have a shower Right, I'm actually singing along to a Vocaloid song Hi Oh Producers are just awesome. See That wasn't bad So I thought this song was about a child wanting attention just by their parents But I was wrong. It's actually about a child wanting attention from everyone They cannot stand the thought of anyone disliking them And it's all because their parents pressured them to be perfect Which caused them to constantly seek validation From everyone just like how I am constantly seeking your validation to subscribe So subscribe to see my fresh adventure into Vocaloid. Thank you very much because my next video You guys tell me that that exists, so I I don't know what it's gonna be like I'm kind of terrified actually, so let's just go on to the next song dance of the frogs Okay, that is such an epic wacky name for a song name dance of the frogs Now what could such an epic wacky name be about it's about Buddhism and reincarnation or something like that Look sometimes knowing what it's about does not matter because this song That was a good one. Okay dance of the frogs. I hope this is gonna be a fun song Just because of the title being dance of the frogs. I want to see some Dancing man. Let's get into this Kiko Oh, oh, okay. This is already a good song.  It still goes off. It's a good song. Okay. It just goes off man. I need it Walking stick, you know, we have done to the frogs now.  It's still going though dude the color scheme. I like it.  What can I say?  I'm not I'm not I'm not gonna lie If there are character designs like this and goddamn buying of Isaac, they'll be freaking cool It's kind of like that and um Cult of the lamb kind of but man, I just love this character design so much. It's so cool This song is for real. He's a bop. Okay.  It was just so cool It's so great tonight But now that I'm so drained I think I need the song of the night Man, I'm good at these transitions today. Just wait for the next one So today, I'm doing the Kiku all can actually have some nice upbeat happy songs. Okay, so in three two one now Hey guys, I think I know what the song's about Song of the night This is good. I like it Dude that character design is so cool Ah This is a nice song cool meanings a good meaning It's a nice upbeat Kiku a song so far. It could it could be it could become like a depressing How-how but who knows this is really really good Oh Yo, I love dancing Beatles down to the frogs down to the Beatles. This is just amazing And when it's daytime they look like They feel like that. Oh my god. I love this. I love this. Oh my god Thank you guys for telling me that Basically, I got all night through the worst of Kiku a with coming a man The two mates They feel like wow this is This is just a beautiful song This is cool. I love how like it's also pretty easy to sing along to which is nice Okay Okay, so what I got from this song is that it's about how people feel more free at night Then in the day because in the night all you want to do is just have fun because there's no people around and you just feel free You're free to do what you want without judgment, but in the morning You're just a slob like who actually wants to do stuff in the morning like god damn it god damn it God damn Definitely not me because I've been postponing me recording this for a few days now Because I recorded in the morning you see but this was pleasant It made me appreciate the versatility that Kiko has with their music Kiku and it's actually quite inspiring for me Being able to see someone so big in a community be so versatile with what they do and their fans still enjoying it It's just inspiring. Okay. That's what I want to do But since Kiku all is inspiring. Do you know what you are to me?  I Thought that would transition better than I thought okay, so now we're going back to the dark twisted Kiko side Yay, but this is something that I understood terribly wrong when I first listened to it I'm really gonna fall in love with Fukunoi, aren't I? Oh my god. There's gonna be so many videos for you guys.   This is a good song though. Oh, and now they've grown up That's kind of like it's a good like this song is a good listen I Like it. I like it. Yeah, Kiku loves the la-la-las Okay, well that was that there was actually I thought it was gonna be a lot more depressing But that wasn't that bad to be real. Yeah, so after I went through this again I understood what it meant so I think it's about a mom who emotionally abuses her child and Continues to abuse that child all the way up until they're grown up and then when their child disappears Died ran away or just something like that. The mom realizes that she was the useless one all along Which is kind of sad, but yet again it goes into that sphere of this happens to people and It's just it's just sad, you know, but damn one might say that's dwelling Some might even say that you should become a patreon to get my full reactions to the songs in this video Plus you also support me and that is epic. They might actually say that but some would actually say oh Dwelling damn that was just a great transition. I'm on fire today. I'm on fire. Yo This is long Like a long song but surprisingly it went by really quickly Which is a compliment because it shows that I really enjoyed the song Even though if it is a song about a couple who are failing to survive in the world and eventually leads to them doing it not live I Still enjoyed it. So let's go into whole dwelling the last song it goes for six minutes Oh, I low key hate songs that go for a long time. Okay, but I'll still go through it Okay, here we go in three two one now. Okay, so we're back to the eerie vibe that we've been getting This is creepy They give me a chill time my spine Hey, hey, hey, who cares if this is gonna be depressing.  I mean do it as tropical now. We have to dance So when they found someone and invited them and made like a new friend it became more like of a tropical for them They've got a happier and now it's starting to break down After they all realize something's happened That's a good transition right and the actual sound of the song has actually changed the wee bit. Oh, this song is really good Okay, well that went by real quick. Okay, that is kind of a surprise Kiko knows how to grasp your attention for a six minute long song. That is very Very talented Like legitimately that's Extremely talented like I am not kidding. I was just saying it's out of this how I hate long songs But the way that Kiko was able to like change the the beat and like just changed like small wee things It kept grasping my attention and that was Awesome like legitimately really awesome. So there we go So basically all that I learned is that Kiko makes vocaloid music depressing and a goddamn catchy way, baby But for realsies, it's great that there is a producer out there that wants to hit these topics and I love it so much I really really love it so much and I can't wait to get more into Kiko's music in the future I'll be doing like solo videos on just songs that I love from Kiko and also I'll be doing more reactions like this So just keep hitting me with recommendations. My next video is all cast on reverse Don't know what that's gonna be like. You guys have been saying it so much I'm kind of terrified and then after that it's probably going to be stuff on deco 27 So stay tuned and subscribe But yeah, other than that, I hope you guys all have a great day Keep smiling be happy out there because I want you to be okay When we deal with this type of music, I want you to try and be happy Please and yeah, other than that


Hello, everyone. It's great to see you all and thank you all for coming. My name is Sheema. I'm a librarian here at the San Francisco Public Library. And before we begin our program for today, I'd like to acknowledge that I'm in San Francisco, California on the unceded land of the Remetush Ohlone people. To learn more about the land you are on, please visit the link in the chat. As you may know, Summer Stride is the library's annual summer learning program. It looks a little bit different this year, but it's definitely in full swing. Today's program is part of our BIPOC kid lit series, and it wouldn't be possible without the friends of the San Francisco Public Library, so many, many thanks to our friends. I asked today's wonderful author to participate in this program series because the book, Alasas in the World to Fame Hispanic, makes seamless use of multiple languages, which mirrors the experience of so many of our bilingual families in San Francisco today. As you know, during today's program, you'll have a chance to ask our presenter questions, put them in the Q&A box if you're on Zoom or in the chat if you're watching via YouTube. And speaking of today's presenter, I'm delighted to introduce the author of Alasas in the World to Fame Hispanic, Dallas Hunt. This is Cree and a member of the WebSosapy Swan River First Nation in Treaty 8 territory in Northern Alberta, Canada. He's had creative works published in Contemporary Verse 2, Prairie Fire, Prism International and Arc Poetry. His first children's book was Alasas in the World to Fame Hispanic, published through High Water Press, and nominated for several awards. His new book, Cree Land, is out now through Nightwood Editions. Dallas is an assistant professor of indigenous literatures at the University of British Columbia. Welcome Dallas. Hi, everyone. My name is Alasas, and as was just said in the bio, I'm Cree and a member of Swan River First Nation in Treaty 8 territory in Northern Alberta, Canada. So I'm happy to be in San Francisco right now. I wish I was literally in San Francisco right now, but you know, Canada will do. And yeah, I'm so delighted to be here. We're so excited to have you. So Dallas, I know that normally when you do this kind of program, you have a coloring exercise that you would do. So you would hand out black and white versions of the color cover? Yeah, so there are like various versions of Alasas in the world, Fame Hispanic. But one of them is sort of black and white where you can actually sometimes when I go do readings, I'll bring some of these black and white printouts with me and and people will cover them and it's a lot of fun. So actually, I think we can do that virtually today. So I'm going to share a black and white cover. Can everybody see Alasas? And ask our maybe ask our audience for suggestions on how to color this in a little bit. Do we have any suggestions from our audience for what color should Alasas's hair be? Does anybody want to chime in? Let's see. I personally used to have green hair, so maybe all color Alasas's hair, but green is what I'll do. And then in Spanish, the word for green is verde is what's the word for green and creed, Dallas. Oh, that's actually a good question. I do not know. So it's a verb and but we can get into that maybe in that it depends whether or not the thing that you're talking about is animate or inanimate. Yes. Sometimes, yeah, the way so in Cree, sometimes the way we conjugate verbs is whether or not the noun we're talking about is inanimate or animate.  But if you were to say bacon in Cree, it would be inanimate. So that's how we sort of, that's how we conjugate our verbs. And colors in Cree are verbs. That's so interesting and not, I think, not entirely unique, necessarily because in Spanish we, there's a different word for fish if you're eating it or if it's in the ocean, which in a sense is experiencing the world pretty differently, right? Is hair considered animate or inanimate? Well, I think my hair is, my hair is animate. No, I, yeah. I actually don't know that is a great question. Okay, well, let's, let's keep that in mind. And I got a suggestion for an orange bunny. So I'm going to color that. I'm going to color that in orange. And a bunny is definitely animate, right? 100%. Yeah, so that would be wappas and that would be the bunny. Okay, awesome. Should we do one more? Can we get one more suggestion, maybe? Let's do, I remember that a purple duck, amazing. Thank you so much, Lisa. Let's do purple. Yeah, it's pretty, pretty cool duck. And the duck is named, we meet him in Oasis and, or them. Yeah, so that is CC. Okay, awesome. So I'm going to stop sharing and then Dallas, you're going to share your screen will continue with the presentation. Thanks everybody for your color suggestions. Okay. So let me share my screen. So can you all see my screen right now? Yes. Okay, perfect. Okay, so I just wanted to kind of give a just general kind of brief talk about this book that I wrote, and that my friend Amanda Strong illustrated. Amanda Strong is a filmmaker, a illustrator, just a fantastic artist generally speaking, and I'm sorry that they can be here today, but you know, every time I talk about this book I get to bring up Amanda and their wonderful work and so I do that sort of as much as possible. But what I might do today is just sort of give a little bit of the sort of context in terms of how this book came to be a book, because I think sometimes people are interested in, you know, process and stuff like that. So this is a wastes in the world time Hispanic we've already done the coloring aspect.  I want to talk a bit more about how. So you see a wastes on the right here. And I kind of wanted to talk a bit about the evolution of a was this as both a book but also as a character. So one thing I wanted to just sort of foreground here is that actually when I started writing the book. Sorry. This original title was a boy and Hispanic. And so you see here, you have Oh, you have waffles, CC, and you guess the frog on the right there. That was going to be the original title of the book and I just like the sort of alliteration you know and things like that. And so that's why it was sort of configured that way. And then when I talked to my publishers. I was sort of making some of the characters in the book, just sort of gender neutral and things like that and they sort of said well, why does a wastes have to be, you know, a boy. And you know what can we, we just had a long sort of, but very generative sort of talk through about how this children's book would come to be really and how we would sort of think about not only the main character a wastes, but all the other little animals, or kin that a wastes meets on the way. So this was actually a original cover of a wastes and the world famous panic, and it was something that I, and this is something that happens in publishing I think or when you work with other people you. This is not the sort of idea I had for a wastes. And so, when I talked to the illustrator Amanda. I said, so they had already done a book called spirit bear with somebody named Cindy black stock, who's in here in Canada does a lot of great work with indigenous children, and is a is a strong advocate for indigenous children and so I said I kind of wanted the sort of whimsical element of spirit bear. And so we started off with that image, and it didn't particularly jive with me and and I think Amanda too was just trying to get a feel for things and so what happened next, just in terms of this is we started to think through what a was this would look like. And so, at one point a was this look like this. So this is when a was this was still a boy and his panic, and we were trying to think through different titles and think through what a was this would look like. And it's really invigorating or just really interesting I guess to. Yeah, to write something on the page and then see somebody try to like create it as an illustration. Right. And so, this is a was this as a young boy and this would have been a boy in his panic. It still didn't really sit completely right with me and I think Amanda too was like, nah, I don't think that's actually a was this so then we tried this. Also, I think would have been very cute, you know, a great, you know, I, I mean, hopefully these, you know, characters will make their way into subsequent books or something but that too didn't feel like a was this to me. And so, after a while, after several emails back and forth between Amanda and I, we eventually came up with this. And that's a was this. So this is a was this from a was mortal famous panic. And aside from the very cute gray sweater. I think the only change here is that a was is actually where suspenders and the children's book. And so that's how we ended up here. But it really was a sort of collaborative process which took, you know, back and forth emails that were very generative and very like just exciting and and we actually arrived at this character for a was this and then when we were going through the animals we started to talk about things like colors and stuff like that so when we were doing the coloring at the beginning it's kind of funny because I think that. Yeah, we, I like how the funny is blue in the book and in all of these things but I also like seeing all these different characters as all these sort of different colors and stuff like that and so generally that's how I wrote the book and yeah, I just wanted to give you all sort of a sort of little, a little bit of insight into even though I'm doing this in a sort of a bridged amount of time like a short amount of time. This took about a year and a half. So we went through a different title we went through a completely different design we overhauled everything. A was this took many different shapes, and then we eventually ended up with this. Yeah, the cute little person you see in your right there so that's really all I wanted to say about a was this but I'm happy to answer any questions or talk more about the book, but that was the most sort of enlightening part to me was actually going through the collaborative process of being someone who is the terrible drawer and trying to have the children's book and so yeah you have to work with other people and I think working with other people is, you know, incredibly important. Yeah, no definitely and it's it's good to know like creativity is an iterative process right like you had the idea and then you were like, wow this is not what I had in mind how can I explain this to somebody else which is always difficult to right. So it's, it's interesting that it was a conversation and that it took so long. So I have a couple questions, I have some questions and we have some questions from the chat. Um, should I stop sharing or should I just leave this know if you could keep it up that would be great. So the first question is what was the first illustration of a was this. So, Yeah, so the first. So the first illustration of a was this was this one. Sorry, right here. Okay. So, yeah. And I mean you can kind of actually see the beginnings of the book kind of manifesting here you see the bear behind the tree you see the bridge, you see all the little animals and stuff like that. But I know I personally thought this like version of a was this was kind of like a skater boy. Yeah, I'm getting that vibe to for sure. Like, yeah, like he was about to shred the NAR, and I kind of was not so much into that. And so I, that's why I sort of suggested the more sort of whimsical kind of drawing and so that's when you. So a boy in Hispanic would you see above it here was the original title and we. Yeah, that it's kind of misplaced in a way because. Well, maybe it was sort of flipped. Yeah, yeah, in a way so we, we, we got the illustrations down first and then we started to think about the title and things. So that's, yeah, and so this is when you see your losses look a bit different and then a bit different and then when you have a losses on the right here, or at least my right, which I thought was is one of those weird things where you see something and you're kind of like, Oh, that's it. That's what I was like. Yeah. When it was boy and Hispanic was the child always referred to as boy or did boy have a name because correct me if I'm wrong but a wasis means child, right. Yeah. So a wasis in Korea generally is gender neutral. And, yeah, crazy interesting language but in this instance. Yeah, it. And like there are terms for boy and girl in women and men and all these things in Korea and but I had always had the intention of having a sort of character that was just sort of get kind of gender neutral and so I was, I was happy when a man to get back to me with this sort of illustration and I only liked a boy in Hispanic because of the alliteration but when my publisher was like I actually am not sold on that like it's, I don't think it's that great of a title I was like, okay, Well, I mean, that's one thing that I learned throughout this process is to really trust or to have the ability to trust editors. So I'm also an academic by training I'm a professor at the University of British Columbia, and generally academics, you know, there, there can be a push and pull with editors, but with this children's book. And yet, the editors were suggesting things to me that I would have never thought of like ever. And so, just because I don't think in a sort of. Well, I think now I do after the book but when I was first writing it. I didn't think in a sort of visual register in the way that the in the way that the editors sort of pushed me towards and so it was, is really enlightening. Yeah. Yeah, that's actually circles into one of the questions that we have from the chat, because you are an academic. What was the inspiration for making a picture story. So, I was driving with a friend, and we were going from Vancouver, British Columbia and Canada over to this city called Edmonton Alberta, y'all are in San Francisco so you can remember any of this anyway we're driving a bass distance. And we were in this area where it said Bannock for sale. It was like a big pink sign with like black writing kind of how a boy in Hispanic is written there. And we really wanted some of this panic and so we kept trying to get it kept trying to like find this panic and it felt like every time we got within a mile or two of it.  And so, as I was driving with this friend, we were just sort of like, we didn't actually end up getting the panic which is the saddest part about this whole story, but we eventually. We just started to, I was like, wouldn't that be like an interesting like adventure story if you got to like, you know, kind of walk around and look for a panic and all these things and so that was kind of the inspiration was a literal, you know, road trip, trying to find the panic didn't get it. And so, in the book that's a wasps find Hispanic so a wasps in many ways succeeded when, you know, where where I failed. That's, that's awesome but why, what was the jump between saying hey, this is a story that I could share with somebody I know who already works in children's literature, as opposed to completely changing your relationship with editors essentially because, as you said in academia the relationship is quite different between the editor and the author. So what was the extra, what caused you to make that extra jump. I think that's a great question I think more or less what happened was. So, I, I have a close friend who's also a children's book or author rights children's children's books. Their name is Julie flat. And so they have a book called bird song which is incredible and they have a book on Cree numbers and all these things and an incredible illustrator and actually the person who I originally was going to do this book with. But so I remember just telling this story to my friend Julie. We were having tea one day and once I told her the story she said, I think that's a children's book like and I was like yeah I was kind of thinking of it as a children's book and so we talked about it more and more. And again, I would, to people who might not be familiar with Julie flat's work I would really search her out. Her work is incredible and she's constantly producing new work and so we sort of talked about the idea and, but then I think Julie just because Julie is an artist and it's constantly like working on things they had to go do other projects and so they recommended a man to me and so that's sort of what happened at the sort of on that end, just the general getting getting introduced into the sort of publication, or the children's book publishing industry. And so Julie was critical there, and does a lot of great work with a lot of other indigenous authors, indigenous to what's currently called Canada. And then, yeah, in terms of working with the editors, Julie pitched high water press to me and I was incredibly grateful to work with them.  And I remember the first time I sort of started to realize that things could look and just be sort of projected or cast differently was when, while you say a was the cells here. So why don't we make the text big and in all caps. And I was like, I would have never thought of that, like, which seems on the face of it like is something very simple but I think it's just years of being a publishing children's books where the editor was like okay when a wasis whispers we're going to make the writing really, really small. And I was like, that's brilliant. I would have never thought about it, but it, it makes sense. Yeah, I mean I think so again you circled right into one of the questions because one of the questions was, can you give an example of one of the surprising questions to an editor, but I could see also how that would be innovating because when you're making a really strong point in an academic article you don't get to put it in all camps and under a line like I swear. I mean, I wish I could. Yeah. Yeah, is there another example like that maybe. The text in children's books I realized you can really it's very malleable so you can actually play around with it which I was like oh okay this is super invigorating and I like this idea. I had this idea of having the bear show up at the end so mask was the bear and is there at the beginning. I mean, spoiler alert if you haven't read the book it's it's like 11 pages so you can read it pretty but I thought about having the bear at the beginning in the end and maybe somewhere in the middle, and then the publishers said well why don't we have the bear basically on almost on every page. So, if you read the book you'll see the bear almost on every page and that to I was sort of like, yeah that would be fun, like super fun for, you know, for little ones like looking for stuff and. But again is not something that somebody who writes in different registers at time like at times, not something that I would have thought of but yeah those editors are really, really great. Yeah. Yeah, that's really cool. We actually everybody next week if you want to tune into SFGIL's Facebook live. Dallas helped me read a wasis in so we did a trilingual reading in English, Cree and Spanish and it was really cool to see the bear on every single page and it's a cool sort of undermining of expectations because it almost looks like the bear might become ominous, especially at the end. And then it's just ends up being the most helpful. So, that's kind of cool too. I mean all that said if you do see a bear, you should do not invite it into your house but yeah, aside from that. Yeah, I kind of like mask was sort of introduction or how mask was sort of book ends the book like that that was sort of how I envisioned it so. But yeah if you want to hear and Cree Spanish and English, I would definitely check out that video so. So, you said that you were mentioning some places in Canada and you said oh you're in San Francisco you probably don't know where they are but we have a commenter who said they have a cousin and Edmonton. Yeah, and then also someone else from YouTube said hello from Bernadette Maria in Ohio so there's people who might know these places in Canada. Big shout out to Ohio for me. Hello everyone. And, and I have a couple more questions. Kind of a little bit linked. So, this is in Cree and Oasis his name is Cree but did you intend Oasis to represent Cree childhood or a certain kind of Cree childhood was, were you thinking about that when you were talking about your illustrations and the way you characterize them. For instance, I'm from Southern California where it does not snow, but I noticed that in the, this picture on the right, it looks like Oasis is wearing boots, and then the picture on the left it looks like they're wearing movers and I thought like oh of course they would be wearing boots in one of the first illustrations because the snow doesn't get cold there right so I mean, what were you trying to explicitly represent a certain kind of childhood or personhood. Yeah, I think that's, yeah, that's a great question. I wasn't particularly trying to present a form of Cree childhood. I mean, all, but I mean that said, some of the guiding sort of principles behind the book. I think are very critical or crucial to Cree ways of being in the world kind of thing. So, we have this concept called Wukotun, which is basically being in relation to others but it's some people just define it as kinship but my, my understanding of Wukotun is that it's actually it's something you do it's, it's, it's iterative, it's a verb it's something you're constantly enacting right and so it shifts it modulates it does all these things. And so when I thought about the book and what it would look like I basically thought. Yeah, but I wanted this sort of kind of adventure story in the woods kind of thing but I also wanted these sort of notions of sort of reciprocity of sharing of kindness to sort of be there in the foreground and so while I don't think it's in any way representation or, you know, of what being a Cree child is like or any of these things. I wanted to get a few sort of concepts in there where it's like you said Masqua isn't this sort of, you know, ominous character rather it's somebody who in the grand scheme of all these things helps in their own particular way right and so that's sort of how I know we should think of our other than human kid in terms of the Eegis the frog or whether CC the duck is there all doing. They make this ecosystem sort of live and you know flourish and if they disappear we disappear and so I just sort of wanted those, those notions of sharing and kindness to sort of be there from center. Really beautiful again that's really cool and I think it's really sweet how in the book it's on a more, a more immediate level in the sense of everybody in the forest knows how to make panic like that. It is so everybody can help solve this problem of oh no I was supposed to deliver this and now I have it like everybody. It's, it seems like all the animals know like oh life messed up something a chore I was supposed to do so I can help with that. I can totally make back even though I don't have like, you know, possible thumbs. Yeah, I'll do it. The person who asked about whether or not this was representing a certain kind of indigenous group of people. They said, thank you for this bilingual book. And then another question that we had was, and I think you kind of answered it but were you thinking of a specific kid or maybe yourself as a kid when you were thinking of how a was this would move through the world or we when you were talking with Amanda. Like, they seem a was this is very, to me seems very rolling with it and I don't know if that speaks to more the reciprocity but I, I feel like I personally would have had to have a serious freak out if I had messed up something. I just really like that a was this is it seems to be in more harmony with themselves and the world around and so I was just wondering maybe what we're one, one of our participants was wondering to were you thinking of somebody specific or especially I mean I have nieces and nephews and things like that. I like the, the description of a was this is rolling with it. Kind of fits the skater vibe that we had before. But yeah, no, I didn't have anyone in mind. In particular, I just had a sort of. It's kind of the hardest part to sort of talk about about the book just simply because I don't. I'm not an artist and I appreciate people who can draw and who can make things with their hands.  But I sort of had an idea in mind as to what the character would look like, and, but I couldn't quite articulate it. When Amanda came back with the illustrations, it was, it's not like I had anyone in particular in mind but it also was like I had a sort of a shape. There was a, there was a figurative shape to what I wanted to be on the page. And I knew that that the losses that I have here on the left with the sort of past, you know, off to the side and stuff like that was not it. And so when Amanda came back with the sort of like bright, colorful characters that are sort of everything's round in the text, you know, in a way, like, it's not angular. I was like, that's, that's exactly what I was feeling when I wrote the book right so in a weird way, even though it's quite visual. For me, it was how I felt about it when I saw it was, it was all affect all feeling right and so. Yeah, I mean I think that's a great question I wish I had a better answer but no it's not based off of anyone I know and it just. Yeah, I knew a wassus when I saw a wassus but I didn't know them before then. Yeah, I mean that's beautiful to I think and I think it speaks to writing and what you inspired and Amanda and how you kind of came to that together so that's really cool. The whole collaborative aspect of it which is like, yeah, that's probably the funnest part yeah. And I would venture to guess it's not something you necessarily do academia as much. I mean, yeah, I mean I do have some co authored publications so if. Sure. I'll plug myself. I wrote a book with my colleague Gina star blanket it's called storing violence. It's, I know this is a children's book reading or discussion but if you want to know anything about the history of colonization in Canada, especially western Canada, specifically in the prairies or the planes. I wrote a book that I wrote with a friend, and I also have some other publications that I've done with other people. And yeah I think there's something about the collaborative writing aspect, but I think it's can be quite jealous of you. If you give it the room or space to be. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's really interesting I think that. It's, you know it is a children's book but language affects us all at any point in our lives so it is like, we're thinking about a little bit, going back to something you had spoken to a little bit earlier. And then we have a question about how long did you ponder the idea of the book before you began to start the actual work so there was the search for manic and then there was the discussion with your friend and then with Julie and then how long was the entire process when you talked about coming to a wasis as this illustration with with the illustrator. It took about with Amanda took about a year but how long was everything from the road trip to the first publication. The first thing you had it in your hand. Yeah, it was, it was years. I mean, and that. I mean, would you get the idea. I mean everybody gets ideas for particular books they might write one day and things like that. It wasn't until I was sort of nudged by a few people who were close to me to actually write this thing that I was like okay, I can write it. The story I told about trying to find panic. And when that event happened and when the actual publication the book happened. I lived in different parts of Canada like that a lot of things happened in my life in between those events in terms of moving across, you know, a vast country and things like that and so I, I kind of want to say all told probably something like three years. I mean, if you get an idea and you write it down right away and you find a publisher and you have an illustrator like sort of at the ready, it could take, you know, eight to 12 months maybe but I didn't know I was going to write a children's book I didn't know what it was going to look like I didn't know where I was living it was all these things all at once and so I just so happened to be moving to Winnipeg, which again it's a tiny little city in Canada, and I was moving there to be a professor in the native studies department and as I was moving there just have another high water press was there as well. I found my publisher and all those things but I had the idea and then cover fleshed it out and then cover and just, I think also wrote it in Vancouver, and so it took not only a lot of time but I actually moved spatially like across the vast distances as well and you know all these things if you're looking to write the children's book, like I don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this but just yeah if you have an idea that you want to see to the end, then I would pursue it. That's what I did. Thank you'll do it again. I hope to. I have a few ideas. But, and the publisher wants to have a sort of series of the losses doing, you know, interacting with different things and, and because the text is pedagogical to I mean the first one is about, you know, you can make bannock and you can learn some if I were to do it again I would, it would be about learning Cree and but it would also be about, you know, making something else right it's it's I wanted to have a sort of. I've always thought of the losses and all of the stuff as a sort of like a very engaged sort of reading and sort of participation with the text. That would be so awesome I would get we hope we're excited to see it we were waiting. No, I mean, I'm just trying to give any spoilers, you know, yeah, no, no. You can tell me off camera. Okay. I have another question and then I have to have. Well, we have a question from the chat. How did you decide to make the transition of writing on historical issues to writing a children's book. I mean the, which I mean it kind of sounds like it isn't as much of a jump necessarily isn't my theme right as of language and because of living in this space that is contested space and so many ways. Yeah, they were just curious. Yeah, yeah, I think that's a great question. Yeah, so yeah, I think a few things so I'm just a literature scholar and that's what I am an English professor and so I read a lot of books whether they're you know, graphic novels to children's books to novels to critical tax and you know, all of these things and so I I really envisioned my in never really envisioned myself being a children's book author or at least writing a children's book but I am. I think generally I have a sort of, there's a sort of promiscuous way in which I'll, you know, I read a lot of stuff and I sort of write a lot of different things, and I just sort of like go in all these sort of different areas. And I think cultivating sort of generative that in a way that it's you know you can sort of navigate between different genres and texts and stuff like that it sort of led me to. But I also wanted to get at ideas of, as I said, the sort of deep down Cree ideas of Kotlin and things like that. I will also state like as well that like, I think Bannock is a very complicated and contentious term, and I mean not the term in and of itself but the idea of it it has a interesting history. And just to get the historical aspect of this question is, yeah, I've, I've had. So, Bannock for some indigenous people is a sort of a sort of a comfort food, it was a food wherein, you know, as colonial forces are moving westward and all all these things are happening and something that's cheap. Something you can make very quickly. And yet, I think there is a sort of tendency or there's. Yeah. This is a long complicated thing to sort of, you know, articulate and I almost immediately regret to bring. No, it's fascinating. So, so I think in the US y'all say usually something like fry bread, right. Yeah, so you can make Bannock and you can fry it and it's essentially fry bread. But there's also, there's a way in which people talk about fry bread and Bannock which sort of makes it as though these particular comfort foods for indigenous peoples that they've had to use strategically historically, you know, as people are sort of advancing into their homelands. There's a way in which these foods are framed as, you know, as a well they're sort of pathologized in a way so, you know, because there might be high tendencies of diabetes or things like that within within our you know, things like that that that it's because we eat these foods and so when I wrote, like I've had conversations about the book afterwards and it's, it's not a sort of uncritical celebration of foods that might affect us in harmful ways. I personally don't that I think Bannock has the possibility of doing that but not necessarily I think really at times when I think about things like Bannock or fry bread or fry bread, what I'm sort of thinking about is that, you know, at times indigenous people's are placed in literal food deserts like we don't have and they will eradicate our entire economies that we have at work like how we sustain ourselves and how we live and function in these areas. And what will happen after that is they'll build a gas station and say okay eat these processed foods or you can make this cheap food that you used to use for survival that provides all this comfort and all these things. But if anything happens to you we're going to actually then project that blame. Yeah, yeah, so I, I, this is a bit of a tangent here but I just somebody asked about the historical aspect of Bannock and and trying to write academically while thinking through children's books I also was cognizant of, or tried to be like, what does it look like, or you know be aware of writing a book about Bannock that can seem celebratory, but also like know the context and history of this particular, you know, food item and I think what I would say generally is that I think it's fine to eat Bannock and especially if it's a comfort food and it has been historically but it's also been a way in which indigenous peoples have avoided things like starvation. And I think that. Yeah, I think it's. It's a form of resistance using tools that you were left with after there was displacement and genocide and colonization of a space and. The tools of resistance are worthwhile and definitely part of the historical record and definitely important for kids to learn I mean, these kinds of conversations are why we wanted to have BIPOC authors. Okay, okay. Yeah, I was sort of coaching my language a bit. No, please don't. This is exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, no I think that's wonderful that's, I'm really glad that we, you know, that's, you were able to say that I think that's really important we have a fry bread power. Comment in the chat so thank you, it is delicious. I can't wait to try Bannock I'm definitely going to try the recipe and if you check out the book. There is a recipe in Oasis and the world's famous panic and you can check that out on who play using our resources with your SPL card so there's no wait list and it's at the very back, and just really quick we're getting close to time but just on the legs of that last question. Dallas if you're going to have panic.  What is your coaching. Yeah, that's probably. Yeah, the most important question that's been, I'm just kidding. But yeah, I, I'm personally a savory person so I like, I would be panic with the stew, you know, like hamburger soup, like, sort of like just things that I grew up with. Bannock would like just some jam or jelly, you know, and butter is also incredible as well, but I usually tend to go on the savory side of things. And they have something which I'm sure you're familiar with being from California they have things called Indian tacos. Oh yeah, so yeah so you get a big piece of fried bread and it's just you know, you're, it's essentially a taco and it's. It's nothing. Nothing can beat that but it's delicious. It's okay they are, they are scrumptious. Yeah. Well, thank you so so much for being part of this author series and for participating in our summer stride Dallas it's been really amazing thank you to all of our attendees for their questions for facilitating allowing us to have this conversation we really appreciate your participation. It's always so exciting to see everybody at the virtual program so yes thank you so much Dallas I'll probably email you later but thank you. And just everybody, please join us again next week on Thursday June 24. For the next installment of our BIPOC kid lit series with Zeta Elliott the author of a place inside me upon to heal the heart. And as I mentioned and as the link was dropped next week also on Thursday. There's the live reading will me and Dallas reading a losses in the world's famous panic in the Spanish English and Creed. So that's all for today everybody take care and we look forward to seeing you soon at any one of our open library locations or at any of these virtual programs. And if you want more information about the San Francisco public library branches that are reopening because we know things are changing very quickly. And visit SFPL dot org flash reopening for more information. So thanks again so much everybody, and have a great Thursday.


Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Astley of johnthansley.com and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. The topic, the five common chasing mistakes women make with men and how to do it differently. All right, really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video the content resonates with you, please hit that like button so I could be seen in the YouTube algorithms.  It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence. So if an F-bomb or two isn't your cup of tea, I suggest logging off right now. Lastly, these are my thoughts, my perceptions, my opinions. By no means do I suggest this is the truth. You have to decide the truth for yourself. I'm a bit of a contrarian so my advice goes contrary to public opinion. And traditional expectations. All right, let's get started with those five common mistakes, chasing mistakes women make. So I wanna first differentiate the difference between chasing and making more effort. I repeat that chasing and making more effort because I don't generally think women are actually chasing men, like the guys are running away and she's chasing them. I think what happens oftentimes is we see women making more effort in the relationship than men and that's perceived as chasing. And if you follow my work, I'm a big proponent of being in relationships where it's a two-lane street where you're equally making effort at the same pace, at the same pace. So if he makes a little bit of effort, you make a little bit of effort. If you make a little bit of effort, he makes a little bit of effort. It should feel like a good game of ping pong, a good game of tennis. And what I mean, tennis, not that ace that scores the point, but a good back and forth kind of volley, if you will. And I think those are the relationships that have the greatest chance for success. And certainly if you're making more effort than the man, then you're probably in a lopsided relationship and I think this is rather obvious, right? I mean, it's rather obvious. So I started to think, why does this happen? Why is it that women are in many cases making more effort than men?  And at the same time, I think it's important to revisit this because it's something I see with women habitually as a dating coach for women. So I see it from my vantage point. And I do have a dear friend who works with men as well. So we talk about the differences between men and women. But one of the things I think I see with women is you oftentimes think of relationships in the clouds, in the 40,000 foot level, in the fantasy level. And we've all heard how you've been indoctrinated in the Disney movies, in the movie, the notebook and serendipity. And it's all this fantasy realm of relationship. And you're not oftentimes contemplating the real meat of what it takes to be in a relationship because it's so hyper focused on chemistry and romance and not enough understanding of compatibility, which includes shared values, blendable lifestyles and more importantly, emotional maturity. So I was watching a movie the other day. It's an animated film called Happily Never After, Happily Never After. And it stars Freddie Jr. Prince, Freddie Prince Jr., Freddie Prince, oh, now I messed up his name. And his current wife, Mara, Michelle, Sarah, Sarah Michelle Geller, Michelle Sarah. Wow, I'm totally blanking on their names. But I'm sure you know who the two I'm talking about. And she plays Cinderella and he plays the valet, the page to Prince Charming. Okay. In other words, he plays a commoner in Prince Charming is the obviously the technically the lead role. And yet, and by the way, let's think about this narrative for just a second about Prince Charming. You know, the fantasy around Prince Charming is that his parents are the richest people in town. He's the best looking in town. I mean, he's the everything, the quintessential best of everything, right? And she's just a common woman, okay? In what world?  First off, there aren't too many princes.  But let's come back to this movie Happily Never After and why I'm bringing it up.   He barely, he can barely put two sentences together.  And let me think of what's that Cyrano de Bergerac, but I don't wanna go down that road for a second. But so in this storyline, she's in love with the idea of Prince Charming. She's in love with the idea of Prince Charming. But what she realizes is when she, but she's making friends with Freddie, the page in the story, and he happens to be the good guy and Prince Charming is just kind of a buffoon. So why am I bringing this up? It's because we oftentimes are focused on the outside picture and not what's below the surface. And if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg, I know many of you are, but if you're new to my channel, I just wanna share this with you. See above, see the tip of the iceberg says chemistry and above the waterline it says attraction, but compatibility is below the waterline, shared values and blendable lifestyles and that emotional maturity piece. And sadly, most people focus on that piece, the chemistry piece, the social skills of a person and not their deeper relationship skills. What Jonathan, deeper relationship skills, what's that versus social skills? Well, here in the dating process, most of the hyper focus is building your social skills to be able to create that attraction with another human being. That's what a lot of the male coaches teach men. And many of the female coaches are teaching you just to sit back in your feminine energy and let the guy do all the work because he's focused on the social skills and you don't have to do anything.  It's because most humans have terrible relationship skills and if you haven't seen my emotional maturity relationship skills chart, by the way, this is not a fact, this is an opinion, I know many of you know this, 20% of the population, at least here in the United States has clinical issues.  So is it any wonder that there's this imbalance when it comes to relationship is any wonder why women are sometimes making more effort than men? Yeah, it's because women tend to have a propensity to want commitment more so than men. I'm not saying this is an absolute, I'm saying it's more of a propensity. And men these days, you know, by the way, that whole saying, why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free, the reality is is most men these days are happy just to spend time with you and not actually grow with you in relationship. I'm gonna repeat that they're happy to spend time with you versus actually growing with you to be in a relationship. This is why I created my private coaching program that helps women learn how to pre-qualify their prospects. By the way, there's a link below to get, to schedule a free discovery call with me and I'm happy to say two weeks ago I reported that I have four clients in amazing relationship, one got engaged and in the last five days I've gotten three messages from clients. Two of one, I mean, she just surprised me with a picture, she got married and she allowed me to share this with you all. She got married. By the way, she lives in Australia and I hope, I don't wanna say that privately but let me just show you that she got married. Here's another couple who got married and then here's a couple that got engaged all based on my work. Why am I bringing this up? Because it's time to let go of the fantasy of relationships and the traditional expectations and start understanding the most important thing to be in a relationship and that is making sure you have compatibility, making sure you have compatibility.  I don't care how great the chemistry is, if they have weak relationship skills, your relationship is doomed to fail. Think about it, here in the United States over 50% of marriages end in divorce, over 65% of second marriages in divorce and over 75% of third marriages end in divorce. Why?  Read this book so you can understand the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. You are not doing yourself a favor if you haven't ordered this book. Now by the way, purchase my book first.  I draw it the NAS way, link below. I had to give myself a plug. This is a book, this is a journey of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. By the way, I make a few bucks on the book. It's not about the money. It's about making a difference in your life. It's about letting go of the fantasy as I stated in the beginning and start dealing with the reality of love because this chasing mistake so many of you make is one of the reasons why many of you're single and I'm so grateful that I can be of service. I mean, I can't believe in the last three weeks, three marriages and one engagement and several great relationships literally by just finishing my program. So maybe I'm good luck Chuck in this way. If you, by the way, I really do believe the minute women make an investment in my program, they all of a sudden become this magnetic attractor for what they want. All right, enough. I'm listening, I'm not selling myself as much as I want to encourage at least a different way of doing this for you all. Okay, so let's talk about the five common chasing mistakes women make. Here's my notes, doo, doo, doo. And let's go take a sip of my drink here.  By the way, Theresa asked, how old were the people who got married and engaged? They were all in their 40s and 50s. The age demographic that I work with, which is midlife, which is after baby making years before retirement, these weren't youngsters. All right, let's talk about those five common chasing mistakes. Now the first one, remember I said chasing is more about making effort? The first one is actually reverse effort, reverse effort. And what I mean to say is so many of you women give your power away to men. Number one, you give your power away to men and you're probably asking, what does that look like? Well, let me tell you, the relationship is on his terms.  Number two, you're afraid to speak your truth with him. Number three, when the relationship ends, it's all about him, it's all about him. It's what he didn't do, what he didn't do, what he didn't do, what he didn't do. Number four, waiting for him to initiate contact. I said this before, I'll say it again, a relationship is a two lane street.  It's all for him, you're giving your power away. It's reverse effort. Number six, you feel like you can't live without him. But Jonathan, I have the most amazing chemistry with this guy, I've never had this kind of chemistry before. Well, if you said it more than twice in your life, you can get it again and again and again. And number seven, you think the other person is the only person on the universe who will ever love you and you'll have that chemistry with. Again, this is how you give your power away. That's one of the biggest mistakes women make. And again, it's reverse chasing in this category. Okay, number two, you try to change him and don't accept. Oh, well, I'll tell you that in a second. You try to change him or don't accept him.  I want you to think of you have three dice in your hand and you've gotta always come up with number 18, okay? You got one in 3,600 chances or whatever that number is. I just made that up, 300 chances, whatever it is.   When he told you upfront, he doesn't want a relationship with you or he's only seeking something casual. And your options are either to accept it or move on. Number three, you create drama instead of memories. You create drama instead of memories. Many of my contemporaries are teaching you a technique that is actually creates drama, believe it or not. And the technique is like this. You know, it would feel so good if we did this this weekend. It would feel so good to me. So why am I saying that that's drama? Because you know what you're doing in that case? You are saying it's all about me. I don't care about what you wanna do. I only, I expect you to do what I wanna do. But you're framing it in such a way that it's all about him making you happy because men naturally wanna make you happy.  If you wanna go away for the weekend, then make the plan and say, hey, I made plans for us to go out away this weekend. Well, I wanna create some memories together.  It would feel so good if we went away. It feels so good if you text me so often. It would feel so good if you do this.  When I hear this from women now, I think, oh, they've been trained by those coaches. And I say, stay away from them because I know you've been, those women have been poorly trained. Be careful because that creates drama because if you do it too much, then you become a drama queen. You become an expectation queen. You become a princess. Again, as I said in the beginning of this broadcast, it's a two lane street effort. Again, it has to be mutual. If you're making effort, he has to make effort and vice versa. I'm not suggesting you make more or he makes more. I'm saying a two lane street. Number four, you try to tie him down too soon. Again, this goes back to the Disney fantasy many women operate from and that is trying to tie a guy down too soon instead of doing the following. Folks, right from the beginning, find out if you're on the same page. Find out if you're on the same page. Do you want the same things? But Jonathan, he said he wanted a relationship. By the way, the word relationship to you and the word relationship to him could mean two different things. To you, it might look like this because this is how it looks like for me. It might look like this for you. I'm seeking a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, traveling together, teamwork, building skills both in our personal and professional life, intimacy, both physical and emotional, where we move in together or getting married. That's my standard. To the guy, it's like, you know what? I'm just seeking companionship, I'm seeking connection, I'm seeking sex, and I'm seeking it in my beck and call. That's when I call a relationship. Folks, when you expect him to believe that you want the same thing as him, you are making a huge chasing effort. Mistake, I mean.  Read the book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. So you can find out if you're on the same page. Folks, you should read this book. How to be an adult in relationship. You should buy two copies.  Because we have a huge dysfunctional population that doesn't know how to be in relationship that has terrible relationship skills, and they have terrible communication skills. By the way, you women think you have these great communication skills. I talk to women habitually, who have terrible, by the way, I'm talking to most of you. You have terrible communication skills. But you have this fantasy in your head that you think you're good at it. If you really, by the way, there was this Netflix, or excuse me, there was this on Showtime, a series called Couples Therapy. And in it, they had actual therapy sessions of real life couples. And I can tell you that the women were just as bad at expressing what they wanted in relationship as the men were. That's why they needed the therapist as the mediator, because women were just as bad. In fact, I might be biased here, but I thought the men did a pretty good job at expressing themselves, but the women are so caught up in their head, they're caught up in their head that they're not actually listening. And men are so caught up in unconsciousness, they're not listening, because most men, when you're dating today, are winging it, winging it, winging it. Yeah, my clients seem to find that better class of men because they're asking better questions because they're communicating at a more effective way. This is why I recommend purchasing this book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. By the way, the link below to Jonathan recommend books is in the description. But Jonathan, all you're doing is recommend reading books. Folks, if you're not reading books, if you're not going to workshops, if you're not watching, listen, my videos are just here to point you in certain directions. You can go, by the way, later, by the way, write this down right now. And if you're watching the replay, pause this after I finish what I have to say.  And you can watch hours upon hours of videos teaching you how to communicate better because so many of you do a really shitty job at it, believing you're good at it.  And by the way, let me be clear, men are just as dysfunctional. If you feel criticized, it's only because many of you are living in that fantasy realm that I talked about before. I know I yell. I know some of you don't like that I yell. I think of yelling like this. You're children. You're about to touch fire. And I'm telling you, stop! Ha, ha, ha, ha. Or better yet, I'm Cher in the movie Moonstruck. Okay, better yet, I'm Cher in the movie Moonstruck. And she takes her hand and slaps Nicholas Cage and says, snap out of it. I'm asking you to snap out of the fantasy and start leaning into a healthy, happy relationship in number six, or number five, excuse me, falling in love with the idea of him and not him. Falling in love with the idea of him and not him. This happens because most of you are seeking the fantasy just like I told the story of happily never after, okay? You fall in love with the idea of him and not him. And what happens is you're chasing the fantasy. And so many of you are doing this and it's time to snap out of it. Time to snap out of it and start asking better questions. I was on the phone this weekend with a woman, a friend. I spent an hour coaching her. I mean, I literally was watching a train wreck to happen and I gave her a script. I helped write a script to help her avoid the biggest trap of all in the centers around long distance relationships.  Definition of insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.  As I said before, and I'll say it again over and over again, most men are rather clueless. They're winging it in this process. You've got to teach them by reading the book eight dates. Is this making sense? Is this resonating? If it is, give me a thumbs up. If it is, say amen. Say yes, Jonathan, we hear you. Write that in the comment section. All right. I think it's time to take questions now. Those who know my format knows the format goes like this. If you have a question to ask me, write the word question or post the question thereafter. That way I can find it or simply purchase a super sticker or super chat. All the monies of the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor Asley who passed away. That's him right there. One of my all time favorite pictures of him. He really was that kid. He took a rope and tied it to a wall and started climbing the walls in the house. He was one of those kids that beat to his own drum. I mean, I don't know if he wasn't ready for the world or the world wasn't ready for him, but he really did. We all know that kid that's different than everyone else that was Connor. By the way, that's my other son, Colin. He's not happy I share this picture, but that's him and I in Amsterdam getting high as a kite and hanging out in Amsterdam. Cheese capital of the world or something like that. All right, again, purchase a super sticker super chat. All the monies go to a scholarship fund in the name of Connor Asley given to way to help defray the cost of personal development and donate to those causes like the Hoffman process and to insight seminars.org. All right, I see we have some questions that came in so far. All right, let's go swim in, bear with me a second. Bear with me. I want to thank Julia for the $3 super sticker. Thank you so much. And I want to thank Bob with a question and a $9.99 super sticker. Thank you so much. Is it a very bad idea to get into a dating when my life currently is pretty messy, working on my business, going through many transition? Is there a really a good time to get in? Mm, great question. It's kind of like, can life get in the way of love? That's what I think of it, can life get in the way of love? You know, about six months after Connor passed away, I was introduced to a woman, well, a little bit afterwards. Her son passed away, not too dissimilar to mine. Same age, and I share this because she just began dating a man. They just literally were on their, I think it was their sixth date when she got, they were in the car together when she got the news. Could you imagine being that man there and he's hearing this woman who just lost a child? And he leaned in. He totally leaned into her life. And they actually got married eight months later. But they got engaged, excuse me, and then eventually got married because that was a couple of years ago. So I don't know that, you know, it depends on, here's the thing. Being in a relationship requires showing up. If you're not in capacity to show up, then I think it doesn't make sense to actively date. If you do have a capacity to show up, then it's a different story.  Now, mind you, they had just started dating so it wasn't, she was going out dating. She'd just met this man, they've gone on a few dates. I don't think they'd consummated the, you know what piece. Please forgive me for that descriptor. But I think what's most important is if you can't show up for your own life and you can't show up for a relationship, then wait till you can show up in your own life and really be able to show up for another person because they're particular case, there was a little different dynamic going on, but she was very secure in her life. She was certainly deal with the most devastating situation ship. But at the end of the day, the ground underneath her was solid. If the ground, but I guess the reverse question would be, would you want to date a man whose life is messy? Is, I mean, really a train wreck? I'm not suggesting that's what you're are. But would you want to date a man who's a train wreck? Probably not. So that's my invitation for you is to look at it from that perspective. Does that sink in? Does that resonate? Please let me know, Betta. And thank you so much for that question. I appreciate it. Nancy writes, yell the fantasy out of us, Jonathan. I'm sorry, yes. Excuse me. All right, let's go swimming. If you have purchased a super stick or super chat, Roller Girl says, you changed your Connor pictures. I change those pictures every video. I've got, by the way, mixtiles.com, mixtiles.com. I've got about 50 or 60 of them. Let's see. Let's go swimming. Let's go swimming. Don't forget, write the word question and post the question there after. Teresa says, we hear you. Danielle loud and clear, coming in loud and clear. Good to hear. Lucia says, I hear you. All right, Lisa V says, question. I've been seeing this guy and ask him, wait, I've been seeing this guy and ask him, am I your girlfriend? And he says, I'm just taking my time. I don't wanna rush things.  Okay.  Has your mouth been on his cock?  I won't even go through the other orifice, okay?  I'm telling you. It's like, I wanna pull my hair out sometimes. I mean, and I've been the guy that's bullshitted you. I have been that guy who's bullshitted you.   If the guy reads it with you, you have an 80% chance of being in a relationship. If a guy doesn't read it, you have almost none chance to be in relationship with him. But Jonathan, that will scare a guy away. All the other female dating coaches tell me to never do this. All these other female dating coaches were so right on. Why are women miserable? My advice is working. Do you know how many women write me day after day after day? Jonathan, I purchased this book before I had sex with a guy. And it's been weeding out all the looky-loos. They're looky-loos, they're looky-loos, they're looking. All they're doing is looking to try to get inside your vagina. But not build a relationship with you.  Folks, the reason why is you're meeting total strangers these days. You know nothing about them and I can't be there. I'm looking, I'm your big brother. If I could be there on a first date with my shotgun and hand pointed in the guy's face and saying, what's your intentions with my sister?  But you don't have me there. So you've gotta do it for yourself. This is why you better purchase this book Talking to Strangers, what you should know about the people you don't know.  I mean, remember I came back to my chart between the clinical issues and the dysfunctional, it's 80%. You have an eight out of 10 chance of failing.    My son told me a story. I did something I'm rather ashamed of and he was really rambunctious at a party, obnoxiously rambunctious and I went off on him.  But you know what he said? He goes, thank you dad for yelling at me. He remembered because he knew he was being rambunctious and out of line. He said that yelling at me helped me today to be more conscious and aware of my actions and behavior.   I can't do it, they're not gonna listen to me. And you think they're not gonna listen to you?  So don't let him get away with this with you.  Let me know, hit that thumbs up. Lisa, thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. All right. Sarah says question when a man cheats. That's not a question, Sarah. Lynn writes, when to ask to move in with a boyfriend? It's a good time to ask that. You know, it's a big financial responsibility to move in with someone. I think what's needed most is trust, trust. Do you trust this person has your best interest at heart? Because if you don't have trust, that you do not wanna move in with someone. And trust isn't about fidelity. Trust is, does this person have my best interest at heart? And do I have their best interest at heart?  Until you know in your heart of hearts he has your best interest, do not move in with a guy. That's my suggestion, I'm sticking to it. Jennifer says, I love Moonstruck, just watched it the other day, amen. All right, Jennifer writes, question, do you like Bumble Dating app? You know why I like, yeah, the answer is yes. You know why I like it? Because it requires women to at least make some effort. And what I mean is drop the hanky. By making that initial message, it's dropping the hanky. Now, the challenge for us men is if we're, many women have not all women, but many women have multiple, multiple men they're communicating with. So I like to test these women to see how really interested in their meat, when to me. So when they write high, I write high back, it goes nowhere. Cause they're not really interested in me. They just want me to do all the work. I actually am testing women when I'm on Bumble to see how much effort they'll put into me. Because look, for me it's a two lane street. And I know you're getting hit on by a dozen guys. I'm not gonna be one out of a dozen. I'm the unicorn in my mind, okay? Now, it's not to suggest I won't make effort, but when a woman writes me and says, hey, Jonathan, I really appreciated your profile. I like that photographs. Have you read, I've read a couple of the books. Have you read any of these books? Because my profile, here look, I'll just show you my Bumble profile. By the way, one of the most important thing is to have crisp clear pictures. So that's my first picture, crisp and clear. Can you see that? By the way, it looks blurry because of the camera. Number two, crisp and clear. I know that looks a little blurry, crisp and clear. Number three, Connor's dog, a babysitting or dog sitting. Body shot, so you can look at my body. Happy shot, when I was being crowned emperor, Jonathan the lion hearted. And number six, the books I read.   I took a picture of a couple the other day. Bum, bum, bum, where did I? This was a woman's first photograph.  Here's another, I'm sorry. She looks like she just came out of bed. First photograph. Here, this woman's first photograph. She's just showing her boobs. She doesn't even show her face.  Okay, the list goes on, oh wait, there was one. Look at, first photograph, she's in a bathing suit. I'm like, I don't get ladies. And by the way, I get it, the guys with the fish and everything. I know you're annoyed at men, but I like Bumble because I actually can test women's really ability to lean into dialogue. Most of you know how much I love the following meme. I'm gonna read it to you guys. You're gonna hear it over and over and over again. But this is how I test women.  I wanna talk about Adam's death, alien sex, magic intellect, the meaning of life, far away galaxies, music that makes you feel different, memories, the lies you've told, your flaws, your favorite scent, your childhood, what keeps you up at night, your insecurity and fears. I like people with depth who speak with emotion from a twisted mind. I don't wanna know what's up. Every woman writes, how's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. Did you have a blessed day? Folks, that's mediocrity to me. Do you know in the movie, the fourth matrix installment, it said ideas are the new sexy. I like talking about ideas. Now I'm just sharing my perspective. So I can't speak for most men because most men operate from an egoic unconscious place, just like most women operate from an egoic unconscious place.  Anyway, you know, I feel bumble, I like it. Heather writes, Heather, how are you doing, sweetheart? After COVID, will you continue with this much emphasis on your YouTube channel? Basically how's it working for you? I love this. I love, love, love this. So COVID's been over in my mind a long time ago. So anyway, I hope that answers your question. I wanna thank Patricia for the $50 Super Sticker. Thank you so much for donating to the Connor Esley Scholarship Fund. By the way, we're gonna give about a $500 donation to theinsightseminars.org because of all the donations given. We're gonna be sending that check out hopefully this week. So thank you so much. Question, we just got another $9.99 Super Sticker from Betta G. Thank you so much and we have a question from Sarah. Sarah, been with a guy for eight years and he recently cheated. It was more emotion, not physical. Could he really love me? Will he really change? Hold that thought, Sarah. Hold that thought, hold that thought, hold that thought. Hold that thought, hold that thought, hold that thought, hold that thought, hold that thought. Okay, I had to get this book out. My ex-girlfriend wrote this book. There's a picture of her. Dr. Sherry Myers, ain't she cute? Actually, oops, there she is, ain't she cute? By the way, my signed copy of the book. And I wanna read the acknowledgement. Says to Jonathan Asley, who lovingly encouraged, pushed and unconditionally supported me through every step of the process of writing this book. Thank you for shining your beautiful heartlight, holding down the emotional fort and continually believing in me. You showed me firsthand what it means to live the words, I am here, you matter, we are important. The book is called Chatting or Cheating. How to detect infidelity, rebuild love and a fair proof your relationship. I highly recommend checking out Dr. Sherry's book, Chatting or Cheating. By the way, what I love about this book is the last half of the book is how to build an amazing relationship together. I highly recommend reading this book. That will answer your question. And by the way, the reason why we broke up, I was a dysfunctional mess when I met her. And although she accepted me, we were really designed to be in these, each other's lives to heal one another and not go the distance. And that's okay too. Folks, not everybody comes in your life is meant to be the longterm. In fact, most people come into your life to heal you, to give you an opportunity to heal. And yet sadly, most of you are suckling on the nipple of victim consciousness, victim consciousness. I've been hurt by him, I've been hurt by him, I've been hurt by him. By the way, when you've done the personal development self-help spiritual work, when you love on yourself, when you love yourself, I don't care how bad the guy wronged you, you'll never talk about it because the past is prologue. The past is prologue because when you love yourself, you know you were an equal participant. And what I mean by equal participant is your spirit chose this dysfunctional relationship so you could heal on the inside. I know it's hard to believe, but your spirit is constantly choosing everything you don't want so you can learn to stand in your power. So you can be empowered. And this is why it saddens me so much that so many of you women give your power away to men. I don't know if it's just the nurturing side in you or not. I'm your advocate only to say this, get busy living or get busy dying. And the best way to live is to live from an empowered, conscious, empowered way. This is why I recommend my book because it's a journey of personal development self-help spiritual work and I highly recommend all of you to do the book, the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process to heal childhood wounds and traumas, to heal childhood wounds and traumas because many of you are hurting on the inside.  Get busy living or get busy dying. You know what movie that's from. All right. I'm ranting, I'm pontificating. I get it. Ah, wow. We got a lot of comments. Patricia said, I did purchase it. Way to go. Ah, let's see. Let's go. Oh, Lisa, how are you doing, sweetheart? Why the heck don't men answer my questions on Bumble or other apps? I write those great messages you suggest with a compliment.  So Lisa, if you're honestly telling me 100 out of a 100 men don't answer, I don't believe you. It could be three out of those 100 might respond, I get it.   Dating now is a, dating through dating apps is a way to self-medicate because as I heard in a podcast last week, we are experiencing what's called an intimacy famine. People are thirsty for connection and at the same time they are scared to death to connect. We are in a ridiculously emotionally dysfunctional world right now and these devices have amplified the dysfunctionality 500 to 1,000 fold.  This is why I recommend everybody read the book Emotional Intimacy by Robert Masters to get a handle on your emotional maturity because sadly, the dating apps now, it used to be that the, okay, it used to be that the success rate was much greater before we moved to app-based dating, okay? Now it's the broken clock syndrome.  So really you have a one in 12 chance of getting lucky to even get a date. And then out of that 12, out of that one, you need 12 to just get lucky enough to get a double, a second date. It is a mess out there. So I asked myself, why are my clients experiencing greater success? Why is it? Because their energy field is changed from a victim consciousness to a victor consciousness. And I'm not suggesting you're not being a victor, Lisa, not at all, but it is a dysfunctional way of meeting. That's why, listen, it's time to become a magnetic attractor for what you want. Go where there are men. Remember I said earlier that a client of mine got engaged, do you know where she got engaged? She lives in Alaska. It's a 50 to one ratio, men to women. She was in a environment, target rich environment.  Go to golf courses, go to the hardware store.  And ask, by the way, I have several friends who have been fixed up by people lately.  Start going into your social circles. Now that the world is opening up a bit, get outside and do something. Because now interestingly enough, 50% of all new relationships are gonna, or at least dates are gonna happen through an online connection, that number is gonna be 80%.  That's what I teach, check out the link below, is how to pre-qualify your prospect. So I'm sorry to be a downer, but it's also the reality, folks. If anyone tells you otherwise, they're lying to you.  And do you know I know this? Because I'm on all the daps and I see how dysfunctional you women are. And then you complain about the men. It's because human beings are a mess. Most human beings anyway. Lisa, thank you so much, I appreciate that. All right, what else do we have here? Oh, Lisa, thank you for the great photos. I appreciate it. Let's go swim in better. Thank you for the, oh wow, very generous tonight. Good topic, thank you so much. Sylvia writes, how recent are your dating app photos? None of your business, I'm just kidding. All within two to three years, I think. My most recent one is six months. I need to update my photo, so probably. But I haven't changed too much. In fact, no, I'm not gonna say that because that sounds arrogant. Let's go swim in. We got, oh my gosh. Oh, here we go. Heather, $5 Super Sticker, thank you so much. Connor's gonna be so happy. This can be our last one for the evening. Do you think some people are meant to be single, not in a negative way, just that our spirit energy is meant to be more like a traveler? Great question because I've been contemplating this myself. I've been wondering, why have I been ghosted so much lately? Why am I experiencing a lot of female dysfunctionality? And I realize it's because I'm meant to experience what many of you are meant to experience. So in a way, maybe I'm not meant to be in relationship. I've been wondering this for a while. Maybe I'm just a traveler. By the way, I'm gonna do mushrooms this weekend. Woo-hoo, I get to connect with Connor. I'm so excited. I have a shaman, I do it in a ceremony. It's really intense. I mean, really not intense, but very spiritual. There's even a sweat lodge. I mean, there's just some really great experiences when you can go inward. And mushrooms, all it does is, it's a psilocybin, I should say. It's a vehicle to help. It's like using a Ferrari to get to a meditative state instead of a walker. And I know some of you might judge me and you might stop following after hearing me say that. That's okay. You know what, you're on your journey. I'm on my journey. You can judge me all you want. You don't have to follow me if you judge me. But coming back to the question, you know, I think Betty White's husband died when she was in her fifties. Now I don't know if she had any relationships afterwards, but she lived 50 years, balls to the wall, Betty White.  Life's a journey. Every day, if there's one thing I've learned after Connor passing away, is what's most important, at least for me. I can only speak for myself. Is the appreciation that every day is a gift because you could say goodbye to your child one day and not ever see them again. So do your best to make everyday precious.  I need you to love me so I can feel good about me. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself.  And it doesn't matter. We don't need someone to love us so we can feel good about ourselves. We feel good about ourselves. And when we feel good about ourselves, we become a magnetic attractor for all the good that we want in our life. And if we put out more good, we attract more good. If we can pay it forward, if we can pay it forward, we will receive an abundance, a variety of different good in our life. So I make an invitation for every one of you today, right here, right now, if you're watching right now, will you make me, will you at least try to do the following? In the next five days, will you do something to pay it forward to somebody else?  I once was driving through a coffee, a Starbucks and I went to go pay for mine and the car in front of me paid for my Starbucks. I want, I would invite you all to do a random act of kindness so they don't even know that you did it because that paying forward becomes a magnetic attractor for more abundance in your life and that abundance can be so many things you can't even begin to count. And maybe that special guy will hear that call in some way because you've paid it forward in a small act of kindness. And that's my invitation. I know many of you did that through the super sticker, super chat but I want you to go out in the world right now. Will you do that? Write down in that post, Jonathan, I will do something in the next five days to pay it forward. Just do that for me. If you appreciate what I've shared today, if you honor my work, that would, if you would honor my work in that way that would bring me so much joy and happiness. Can you do that? Thank you. You know what? Doing this brings me a lot of joy. I love doing this. I'm gonna keep doing as many broadcasts as I can. I love doing this to connect with you all. I am so grateful for the love and support. So many of you have done so many beautiful kind things to me, so many gifts, so many letters, so many emails. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. And this brings me so much joy if I can make a difference in your life. And just like those women that shared with me, their marriages and their engagements. I mean, it's not about that. It's about just being of service. And I'm grateful that I can be of service to you. So I see already Kelly says going to pay it forward and pray it forward, there you go. Just donated to the Ethiopian refugees. Yes, I will do something to pay it forward. Do a random act of kindness, something where they don't even know you did it. That's my invitation for you. Lisa says, I'm praying for the Ukraine. Oh, I love it. Let's keep this train going. Let's keep this train going. All right. Just as a reminder, those five common chasing mistakes women make, and I want you to do this instead. Stop giving your power away to men. Stop trying to change a man and or accept not accepting them for who he is. Don't create drama in the relationship. Don't try to tie him down and stop falling in love with the idea of him. If you find value in my work, please hit that thumbs up button. If you could share this video, I'd be truly be grateful. If you could spread the word and if you'd like to follow me, follow me on Instagram, check out my website, join my mailing list, check out my podcast called the What Would Love to? podcast. If you want to connect with me but can't afford coaching, check out the link to my Midlife Love Mastery Group. And lastly, if you're ready to change your love life and pre-qualify your prospect, check out the link below to schedule a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm asking you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear or a pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. Let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank Lisa and Todd. We got a guy in the house, Kay and Colleen. And Cass and Karma and Lucia. I can't pronounce it. Tracy, Yvette, stay well and strong. Sandra, Colleen, Jennifer, Kelly's in the house. Sherry, Danielle, Jim, Judy, Miss Carol, Cass, Trudy, Linda. Everyone, thank you so much. Have a fabulous day. Bye bye now. Christina says, have a good trip. I love it. Thank you. Bye everyone.


Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome. My name is Melissa Armell, and I own a company called the Stock Swoosh LLC. Welcome to an upcoming webinar entitled Profit Trading on the Side of Banks and Hedge Funds. This is a great topic, and this is what I'm going to be talking about at the upcoming lecture. If you would like more information, you can go to my website. It's www.thesdocswoosh.com, and you can feel free to email me at Melissa at the stockswoosh.com as well if you'd like more information. Also, you can go to Twitter, Facebook, YouTube, LinkedIn, Pinterest, or Skype, and like me at any one of these places. The free webinar is on Monday, Monday, April 20th. Time of the webinar is 4.30 Eastern Time. You can just go click on this link right here if you want to get started and sign up. Registration is free. You just have to sign up ahead of time. It's really about control because you want to be on the side of who is controlling the money in a stock if you are in a position because if you're not on the side or with the side of the control in your position, whether long or short, in anything actually that you trade, then it will be very challenging for you to make money. Even though some people trade like this, they often lose. They can call it scalping. They can call it doing reversals. You can call it whatever you want, but the reality is that it is impossible to make money consistently in the market unless you were on the side of who's in control of the stock. It's about the money. If you are looking for a trading strategy that will make you money in the market, this is a great lecture for you to come to because I'm going to talk about my strategy in the lecture. Maybe you want to learn about a strategy that is effective, effective meaning something that can help you make money and efficient because it sets up each day in the market. You have opportunity five days a week and it sets up quickly. Do you understand how important it is that banks take huge positions and hedge funds in the market and you've got to be on the side of them if you want to profit. Becoming a successful trader and investor requires becoming a specialist in defining really where big banks and hedge funds are buying or selling the stock. Learning advanced technical analysis skills is required to reach hearts in this fashion and comprehending how to redefine and train with this power will have a huge positive impact on your profitability as a trader. You've got to learn a strategy that pinpoints this, the control. This is what I'm going to talk about so that you can make money in the market. Come to the lecture to learn how to trade in the side of banks and hedge funds, how to make money in a chart, how to read the trend, how to read price, and how to read basically institutional positioning stocks in the market. Ultimately, this will help you learn how to make money trading. I teach people how to make money in the market. It's through being on the side of the actual control. Ultimately, the reason you're doing this, if you are trading or if you want to get into trading or start trading is because you want to make money. That's why I do it. That's why everyone does it. You have to make money and be profitable. If you've been trading for years and you're not profitable, then I tell people, take a step back, re-evaluate. Your money is very important and you need to learn something that is going to help you succeed and you need to be doing something in the market that puts you with the control. In this case, we're going to talk about being on the side of banks and hedge funds. Now, this was a play here. If you want to take a look at it, that happened on a one-minute chart. It was WFC. It just happened a few days ago. It was a short. Many, many people, though, I'm sure, looked at the control of this positioning as a long. It was not a long. It was a short. We're going to talk about this a little bit in the webinar as well in Monday. And other examples, too. But if you shorted the stock, it was a nice move, perfect entry and exit, and really didn't even go that far, meaning didn't go to the dream target. It was very realistic with the position sizing and the exit. It only actually happened within the first 30 minutes. You were in it. You were out of it so quickly. And if you took a $700 risk in this trade, you made $1,225. The price of the entry is $0.54. Stop was $0.20. This is an advanced risk. If you know how to trade, you can take an advanced risk and I used stops. And the exit was $53.65. Again, this ended up being a perfect exit. It was near the low of the day of this. It wasn't the dream target, but it was a very profitable trade. Because I was reading the control, risk to reward $1.75. And again, you made it in less than 30 minutes. Nice, nice trade here. It sets up, drops, boom, you're out. Just like that. Really nice trade, and you're in it short. And you can see how quickly you can make money in the market in the momentum if you're with the control. It's about being with the side of who's controlling it. That's how you make money. That's how you get the move. So I am teaching people how to make money in the stock market. And you've got to empower yourself to do this. So empower yourself today. Come to the webinar. It's second quarter earnings season. It's here. It's upon us. It's going to be a very, very busy trading week this coming week. I'm very excited to look at all the things out. And it's really the time to make money. So get on the right path to success. It's spring. The weather is gorgeous in New York City. Sign up for the webinar. I'll see you Monday, April 20th, 4.30 p.m. Eastern Time. All you have to do is click on this link right here and sign up. Registration is free. And if you have any questions, feel free to go to my website, www.thestockswish.com or email me at Melissa at the stockswish.com as well. Thanks, everybody. Have a great day.