And how are we doing today? Oh my God, I am, okay, I am scared for this video. Okay, today I'm going to be roasting your bookshelves. I'm going to be roasting your bookshelves and I am nervous. So here's the thing, right?  It'd be like the best thing ever, right? Then I realized I have to be mean. And I don't want to offend anyone. I mean, who am I to talk?  And if you said that, that's okay. That's okay, we all have opinions. We all have an opinion. I would like to defend myself, but sadly, that's the truth. So in this video, I'm going to be an actress, okay? I'm going to be an actress. I'm going to be mean, okay? And no one please get offended. So please don't get offended. Anything I say is said in jest. I'm going to try and say things that people who have strong opinions would say. Do you know what I mean? So that's what we're going to try and do.  I'm going to like, I'm going to like really get there. I'm looking for good organization, beautiful shelves. I'll have some of my controversial book opinions thrown in there. So let's get into it. I am going to record my screen. I'm also using a new mic for the first time, but it's going to like pick me up doing, I think you can hear that quite loudly. It's going to pick up my mouse. So apologies. Um, let's do this. Let's be mean. Okay, here we go. So nervous. Right. We have 66 responses. I don't think I will do all of them, but let's see. Okay, first we have Krista bought these shelves a couple of days ago, slowly adding more books. Yes. I would not call this a bookshelf yet. Well, here's the thing. I'm going to be mean. I have to be mean. I have to be mean. Because it's only a few days ago, I will allow it. You haven't had long to fill them up. However, I feel like a you've stacked sideways to set off with, which I have done. So like I can't be hypocritical and say you shouldn't do it. But I think sideways stacking is only needed when you're lacking space. You know what I mean? Or to change up the look of the shelves to break up the linear. You know, if you have a lot of linear, it can be good to break it up. But I use it particularly for when I'm lacking space to fit more books in. You don't need space. All of our bookshelves when we start stacking sideways. Just need a bit of space. I thought it was okay. Yeah, I would have stacked the other way and really put some stuff on there to make it not look as bad because it's not quite shelves yet. Whoa, this is horrible.  Okay, Leo, get out of here. Honestly, get out of here.   This is honestly ridiculous. These are some of the most gorgeous. Gorgeous, some, the most gorgeous bookshelves I've ever seen. The best, maybe the best. Leo is obviously benefiting. Leo, if you'll note, very aesthetic. Probably the aesthetic queen. Probably the ultra most aesthetic person. So like the trinkets all have their place. They all go together in a theme. I mean, it's just stunning. It is objectively stunning. Probably the best shelves we're going to see on this entire thing. I will say I'm not a biggest fan of the book, but not seeing the book spine. I'm not the biggest fan of that. I feel like just show the book. Do you know what I mean? But I understand you're doing it for the aesthetic. I understand you're thinking behind it. And I'm not the biggest fan of like when you've got books going that way, then putting ones on top of it the other way. I'm not a big fan of that. I'm not a big fan of that. Ally, okay. We have a lot, we have a lot of books. We have a lot of books. We have a lot of books. Oh my God, that's, that's, that's a lot. I like the uniformity in the stacking. I feel like you've grouped books together well. Like here's my thing. I like similar heights grouped together. I love seeing the linear like, oh my God, we're all on the same level. So this one bothers me here because I mean, but it is part of a series. So I understand. I understand the choice. But like does it bother you too is what I want to know because we have like levels, levels, levels, levels dip. You know what I mean? And we're on similar levels here, but I, listen, the trinkets are very nice. Do you have a Starbucks cup on your bookshelf? That's a choice. That is a choice. Um, we got some candles. We got some stuff from book boxes that I recognize. I think this is great. I really, really like this. I like the stacking on top. I honestly can't fault this. I like the plants. The only thing that's questionable is the Starbucks cup. I mean, are we that wedded to the Starbucks obsession? I don't really get it. Very strange. Oh, I like, oh, these are interesting. Okay. I'm not roasting these very well. I'm like liking all of your bookshelves. I like the color of this. I do like a good colored shelf. I think my dream shelf would be like forest green, like a room of like, or like muted green, sage green. I like green at the moment in home decor. Um, so if I was like to make like an inbuilt bookshelf, I think it would be like forest green or sage green or something. But we'll get into this later. Some of you are going to have black bookshelves.  They just make it seem depressing to me. I don't know. Anyway, I like the color. I also like that we've got like lots of different, is it different sections here? That's interesting. We have some border cross. I know Daniel Green does these videos, by the way, and me and him have the same arch nemesis. Funko pops. I don't get it.  I hate now. I don't, I, I generally, I hate them. You'll never see me buying a Funko Pop. Say it now. Record that. Record it forever more. You will never see me buying a Funko Pop. Uh-uh. Nope. Nope. Definitely not.  And I will say on your smaller shelf, just like, I feel like we're double stacked here. I don't like the overhanging.  They're cliff hangers. So I would, I don't like that. I don't like that. Kendra, listen. Kind of iconic. Kind of iconic. I have to admit, a coffin bookshelf. Listen, I don't like that. I find it kind of pressing. Not for me, but kind of iconic. The cat, kind of scary. I mean, I love cats, but kind of scary. Okay.  We have got the rainbow shells. Of course we have. We have got meticulous, you know, collections of series, complete series. Theresa is coming in here with complete series. Now, I will say great shelf, but the amount of complete series, like every, there's not a single, I can't see a single series that doesn't have its companion. Scares me a little bit. Scares me a little bit. There's two opposing chaotic energies. One is only having first books of series on your bookshelf, which is me. And then the other one is having every series complete, complete. And I feel like the real healthy balance is somewhere in between. Now again, I can't talk because I have literally just first books in series on there, but the amount of complete series kind of terrifies me. I feel like that's kind of crazy behavior. I just think she's very delusional and maybe possibly insane. Colleen. Oh my God. This is an impressive shelf. Funko pops, not only Funko pops, but Funko pops ceiling boxes. That's a choice. That is a choice. That is a choice. Oh my God, I'm being mean. Okay, let's carry on. I'm not sure how I feel about these face out here. I feel like, yeah, I feel like your face outs need to be a bit more intentional. Here's the thing. I feel like you've all given me intentionally good shelves. This is hard. The double stacking, the sideways, I'm not sure I love how they're stacked. Yeah, this is kind of the more I look at it. On the outside, it looks perfect. And the more you zoom in, the more you see. And then we have all you need is love and a good book. Colleen, all you need is to get rid of that sign. I hate it. I hate being mean. Oh my God. What is it with all of you? Amy, free yourself. Free yourself from Funko pops. Oh my God. What series is this, Amy? The complete Pretty Little Liars series? I came into this thinking I'm only going to judge, I'm only going to judge the bookshelf organization itself, but I draw a line at the entire Pretty Little Liars series. Amy, Amy, scream if you need help. I will say I love these at the moment. I'm tempted to get one myself, the little TBR baskets. Because here's the thing, I obviously have a TBR card, but that is now just full with 150 books. So I feel like I need to get a TBR basket to further whittle down my TBR. Yeah, okay, listen, Funko pops. We move. Oh, Zoe, are we sure about this? Are we sure? How are you? Zoe, I mean, you know. You know, at least yourself aware.  This screams of someone, I don't even know what it screams of, of someone who desperately, desperately needs help.  I mean, I just don't get it. Who's that? Come on, Marks, okay. And the fact that you didn't even try to hide this at least shows me you're starting to accept your fate. Oh my God.  At this point, there's no hope for the rest of us. Now I will say, I'm not, I'm not the biggest fan of rainbow shelves. That's controversial. I know everyone loves them. Delete, erase, unfollow, whatever. But I, no, no, I'm not a big fan of them. I like my series to be grouped together. I really like series to be grouped together. And I like genres to be grouped together. I don't know.  Now I can't actually see a ton of series here. There's Siege and Storm, Heartstopper.  Like it just doesn't vibe with me. I don't like it. However, these guys are cute. You get extra points for them. Karis, are you too late? No, you're here. Okay. First of all, I like the decor surrounding the bookshelf. I feel like the bookshelf, it feels like it's in a complete room.  Do you know what I mean? They're in the middle of nowhere. And you're like, what are we doing here? But I like the vibes we've got going on here. I want to know who, is that Beep? No, who is that? It's McFly! Okay, we get extra points. McFly? Karis, that's a good plus point. I love the hand. I always used to want one of them, but I don't wear jewelry. So that's the point. Funko Pop. But it's a bell Funko Pop. Now here's the thing. Bell is my favorite Disney princess, so I will allow that one to slide. I like this. I like the switch on the bookshelf, actually. I like your shelves, Karis. I think they're nice. Now, do we need a little bit of filling in some space? Yes. But like, it's a constant battle between your bookshelves being full and getting a new bookshelf. Like it's a constant battle. It's a very hard line to tread. So I would say I like them. I really like your bookshelves. Okay, Paulina, let's go. This, again, is a very, like, type A personality bookshelf.  She's got special editions. They are out here with the special editions. I'm fashion. I'm style. And if they can't keep up, then let's stay proper. Now that is, that is crazy to me.  Everything. Everything is a special edition. Multiple Addy LaRuse. A choice. A choice. I mean, look at this. The special sleeves. I see you, Paulina. I see you. I like the shelves. I like them.  Jasmine. Okay, here's the thing. I immediately saw all of these hidden spines and I thought psychotic. I thought we have a problem. But then I saw Jasmine's reply saying the ones with hidden spine are my TBR. You have a lot of TBR, Jasmine. Yeah, I don't know how you feel about that. I personally prefer, until you've read the book, don't put it on your bookshelf. Have a separate system, like a TBR card, is my opinion. I don't like it.  Now listen, this is obviously the bookshelf, someone who loves books. And I admire that. But I don't know if I agree with your TBR method. Current setup, awful lighting. Now this is good. Okay, we've got a TBR card, prose. Do you need to put all these books up here when you have space down here? That is my question to you. That is my question, just a question. Again, I'm not a fan of brown shelves. Was that a, here's the thing. When I see brown shelves, I always think people didn't have a choice in the matter in having them. And if you didn't have a choice, if that's all you had, like what your family had, that's fine. Like my family have brown shelves in there. But if you had a choice, I question it. She was very f***ing rude, weren't she? Interesting. Now these are interesting. Now the harsh shells I have won, I'm not the biggest fan of them. First of all, bring the books forward. Bring the books forward. I know like on a shelf where you have trinkets, fair enough. But like bring the books to the front of the shelf because they just look hidden in the shadows and we want to be proud of them. We want to be proud of the books. So bring them forward. That is my number one, number one issue there because it's like you're hiding them. Like they're like carrying in the corner. No, we want to bring them to the forefront. Oh, okay. I do have a soft spot for shelves on the wall. I do. If you don't see the book you want on this shelf, write it. I kind of like that. I kind of like that, you know? I like that. No, we've got a lot of side stacking. And I understand why because you don't have a lot of space. You don't have a lot of space. We have a lot of Book of the Month editions, which I do. I do love a good Book of the Month edition. I like some of the art. You've got family pictures on here. You've got good lighting. You're working. Like when you're working, you're surrounded by it. I like these shelves. I like these shelves. I really like them. I don't really have much to critique. Jennifer, now Jennifer.  And you know it with the little star eye emoji. Get out. I like them. Good mix of some side stacking. Just shake it up a little bit when you need space, but not too much. We're not, you know, reliant on it. Good amount of like face outers, not too much. Forgotten women, the leaders. I don't think you guys understand how rare that book series is. Okay, that's a plus point. I, oh my god, that's the first one I've ever seen that on someone else's shelf. I like this. I like these shelves. They're very nice. These are my prettiest shelves. That is pretty. That is pretty. I feel like, I mean, I'm not very good at racing these. I just like most of your shelves. I like dead flowers. Yellow shelves, a choice. Gilmore Girls Autograph. I've never watched Gilmore Girls. I know I'm in the minority there, but like, that doesn't do anything for me. I don't know if I'm vibing with your shelves. I don't know if I like the yellow. And I like yellow, evidently. Yellow is right behind me, but I don't know if I agree with that for a bookshelf. That's a strong choice. Also, I don't know why, but these shelves just remind me of like, you just intimidate me a bit with some of your book choices here. I feel like this is like, the shelf of a clever person. It reminds me of like a library. I feel like I'm in a library with some of the books going on here. And I don't know how I feel about that. Ali, scream if you need help. Scream if you need help. Yes, it's a concern and a worry. The dog says, yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. This is a lot. I mean, here's the thing. It's like a dream. I'm making fun. I'm roasting, but like, to have this many books and book space, oh my God, like that is it now. When I'm still living at home, that is it. We're not getting any more bookshelves in. So when I can dream, I like the curve. I mean, here's the thing. The toys on top, that is a lot. That is, there's a lot of them. It's not one or two. It's 20, but I listen, I do like them. They look kind of fat and cute. So I like them. You got good facing out, and there's a good mix of like, some trinkety stuff. I mean, there's a Funko Pop. There's another Funko Pop. There's multiple Funko Pops. So let's like, you know, judge you for that. But it's a dream, but also that's commitment, you know. I really like how these bookshelves fit within the room. I don't know if they're kind of mugs on bookshelves. I don't know if they fit necessarily. Um, also what the fuck? Okay. Huh? Okay. Why do we have Thor? Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Okay. And then I'm trying to hide us from the travesty that is a lot of Funko Pops. A lot of Funko Pops. A lot of them. A lot of them. The bottom shelf as well. We need some organization there. Come on. Come on. Let's get it together before you want to read. I will say I love your other shelf. I love this. I love the ladder. I love the design of them. I love the kind of antiquiness of them. So I will say I do love this shelf. I will give you plus point for that. But just like, I mean, the Funko Pops. Now this, now this is a shelf. I like fairy lights. I know they're not necessarily everyone's cup of tea, but I really like, I mean, evidently, I've got them. I really like fairy lights. I love him. What's his name? Oh my God. Look at these special editions. My laptop is starting to overheat. So apologies if the mic is picking up on that. I love the green chair here. I love the mix of outwards of stacks. I think this is a good variety. A well-built shelf. You got some special editions of stuff. I like that shelf. I really like that shelf. What do we have here? Whoa. Whoa. Oh, the dog says, yeah, I know. Your dogs, you know, they, they're looking into my soul and they say, yeah, I know. Why do you have that? Rainbow. I just feel like rainbow shelves are something that like 14 year olds do. I feel like we should leave rainbow shelves in the past. Is that controversial? I don't know. It just looks cluttered to me with the Funko Pops. I just, I feel like we're overdoing it on the Trinkets, on this shelf in particular, in this area. It's a lot. The other shelves, not so much, you know, that's, oh my God. Oh, I love you. The other shelves are a better mix, I feel like of, I mean, like this in particular, I do like, I mean, get rid of the Funko Pops, but I like this stuff on the shelf. But the first one, I feel like we're overdoing it. I feel like it's become a problem. I feel like it obviously has become a problem. My shelves are so messy. Like, listen, at least you're aware. I mean, come on, what's going on here? It just looks like, is that a hammer? Why do you have a hammer? That's a hammer. Why do you have a hammer on your bookshelves? I'm a little bit concerned.  Is that wrapping paper? What is that? I mean, that is tape.  And I have done that in the past, but I come to you as a past person doing that and I say treat your bookshelves with more respect. We're going to ignore the messy bottom shelves. Oh, but we're not, Phoebe. We're not going to ignore them. We're going to zoom right into them because, yeah. Here's the thing, mine are currently like that once again because I have too many books. So, I mean, who am I? Who am I to roast you? But also I can because it's my job. The rainbow spines. I know people love them, but I can't get into it. It's a problem. I can't get into it. Listen, people might have a problem with Buffy and Angel. I do not. I do not. I love Buffy. I grew up watching one episode of Buffy, the one where they sing over and over again because it was all I was allowed to watch when I was six, but I loved it and I put it on. I made CDs for like, there were some days we could, we could make CDs and take them into class for like days we're having a party and I used to always put it on there, but they swear on them. So my mum was like, no, you can't play that. So, anyway. The art up here, again, I don't really get character art necessarily, but again, it's Buffy. So I'll excuse that. I'll excuse that. Listen, Naomi, you took yours just at the right moment as the sun was coming through. I love plants. I love fake or real plants on bookshelves. I feel like I don't get things necessary on bookshelves like mugs or Funko Pops, but I love plants. I have a lot of plants on my bookshelf. I feel like bookshelves should have plants on them. You know, and candles, I get. You know, they're all things I approve of. Gorgeous shelves. Yeah, I definitely approve TBR cart to separate out the TBR. Listen, Lucy. Now, here's the thing. You could have one less bookshelf because we have a lot of empty space. I'm not a fan of empty space like this. It reminds me of celebrity homes who have obviously had someone curate their bookshelf and it's not a bookshelf. It reminds me of that. I don't care. Even one empty thing, I don't like it. You could have one less shelf. I don't, I don't like that. That's for a coffee table. That's not for a bookshelf. Sorry, I apologize. I will say they're nice. Listen, listen, they look all nice together, but why have you got books hiding down here when you could have them up here? I don't understand the empty space bookshelves. I don't get it. Tia, why, why, why did you bring this to me? A bookshelf that doesn't even have shelves? You just wanted to see me cry. I was angry. I was angry. You actually just wanted to be mean to me. Sid, listen, Sid. Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. Yeah. Sid, it's a problem. I'm actually, I actually feel uncomfortable. I actually, Sid, come on now. I am very uncomfortable with the energy that we've created in the studio today. You have space for a bookshelf. You literally, right here, where you have stacks of books, you could put a bookshelf. Now, I feel like Sid is moving in the process of moving on, moving seeing. So I can't understand that, but like, the bookshelf is the most important thing. You have a table that is literally just filled with books. So you can't even use the table. This is like an episode of hoarders. Sid, we need to get you on hoarders.  Sid, Sid. Listen, Harrier, you know, you're looking at me.   Look at this. Look at, look at the collection of Penguin cloth band classics. Now, I ask you, how many of them have you actually read? Think about that. Think about that. You've been very, very harsh. Nice to meet you. Kelly. Because I bet you it's not a lot. So I immediately feel like we have got a mix here of unread and read sharing the space, which I just morally object to. If you have read them all, good for you, but I don't believe you. I don't believe you. Why is the unicorn facing backwards as if it has something to hide? I feel like the unicorn has seen something it wished it didn't see and is like turning around like, no, I'm fishing for compliments. Well, you're not going to get any. Again, some of you love having like every toy under the sun. That is one of my favorite Pokemon. I call him Pawsie. So you get plus points for that. But like, why, why?  Do I like bookish merch? Not really. We have a lot of empty space here. We have a lot of empty space. Again, you wanted the shelves for the curve. We could have got rid of a few of them and been more concise and then eventually expanded. I feel like I don't like people expanding beyond their means in terms of bookshelves when you've got space on less bookshelves. That is my opinion. That is my opinion. I don't know that anyone else likes dark shelves. Well, I don't. How do you know what's good for me? That's my opinion! Funko pops. Interesting, interesting, interesting choice. As you can see, I need more shelving space. Well, actually, I think you're coping quite well. It looks very like concise. I think you're coping quite well with not having a lot of shelf space. Like, I feel like not so much on this one. We got a lot of leaners. We got a lot of like multi-level stuff that I'm well, I quite like that. I like that use of space. But this one looks really good. Like it's all like concise and tight. So I do like that. I like polarized. I like plants. I like all these kind of cottage quarry decorations that people have. I think they're very cute. I mean, look at that guy. How could you not love him? So on that note, I think that is enough roasting of bookshelves. I hope you enjoyed this video. Let me know which of these bookshelves was your favorite that we saw, that we perused. I feel like I wasn't that good at roasting the shelves, but maybe I'll just edit it down to like the best roasts that I had. But I feel like it was hard because a lot of you had really nice bookshelves.   So it was very hard to roast. I liked pretty much all of them that I saw. I just had to, you know, I had to really go there in my method accent. But if you got to the end of this video, comment a heart emoji which your favorite shelves are. So if you like the dark shelves, comment the black heart.   Comment a heart for your favorite color of shelves down below. Thank you so much for watching. I hope you enjoyed it. Make sure you subscribe if you haven't already. I upload Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. And I will see you very soon in another video. Bye.


Now facing the nation is how to produce in extraordinary quantities a light, tough, silvery metal known in one form or another to every man, woman and child in America. Aluminum. Once precious and rare as gold, aluminum today is precious for another reason. This pig aluminum, first drawn off as molten metal from huge parts, soon will be transformed into the bodies and wings and parts of engines of the planes we're sending from factories into the skies. To build the air power of a nation racing now against time, it's meant we read a grim lesson. Only yesterday the world's greatest producer of aluminum ore was France. Next came Hungary and Italy and Yugoslavia and Greece. Now over these vessel states we trace the march of conquest. For the conqueror no longer buys, he takes. But out of the west, in Dutch and British Vienna in South America, lie vast and rich deposits of aluminum ore. In this hemisphere are the Bauxite mines from which come three quarters of all the ore we use for United States production of aluminum. Nearly 50 American ships, some old, some new, and others building night and day in our shipyards are hauling Bauxite from the shores of our neighbor continent to the docks of our Gulf and Atlantic ports. Relentlessly we must guard these vital lifelines of supply. Without Bauxite, we have no aluminum. Without aluminum, we have no wings. Without wings, we have no defense. Plam shell buckets over conveyors to growing storage piles, the Bauxite flows. Most abundant of all metallic elements in the Earth's crust, yet never is aluminum found in pure metallic form. And so we must break the Bauxite down. Shortages in our aluminum supply are the result primarily of the lack of plant facilities for producing the finished metal. In order to process the enormous amounts of aluminum we need, we are feverishly building new structures side by side with the old. We are throwing up factories where cornfields flourished a few months ago. We are bearing down on a construction job that sometimes would be in itself a major achievement. Chemical solution. At regular intervals the operator weighs charges of Bauxite and lime into which a stream of caustic soda liquor is carried. This after process at high temperatures removes impurities and speeds the chemical changes. Red mud is washed away and the liquor flows on beneath through filter presses and coolers until eventually it is precipitated in great tanks five stories high. In these giant kettles and corns, chemical solutions are working slowly to develop those qualities and properties which have helped make aluminum the outstanding 20th century metal blinds lightness with strength. That's why it is indispensable for the manufacture of aircraft and has been used for countless purposes in industry. When we were building only a small number of aircraft, we could afford to make trains, trucks and cooking utensils out of this valuable metal. In fact, a year ago more than 85% of the aluminum we produced went into transportation and other civilian industries. In our building, we are taking 20 years of normal plant expansion and crowding it into 18 months. Even this is not enough. So we are creating completely new plants, building from the ground up. We are trying to make effective every kind of mechanical, physical, chemical, structural and financial facility we need to do the job. To white-hot temperatures to remove the water. It has reached the end of the first stage of production. Here is aluminum, ready to be conveyed or shipped to the pot mills. To change the powder aluminum into the metal aluminum, the magic of electricity must be applied in the furnace. Millions of kilowatt hours are consumed. In the second stage of production, the vital necessity is cheap electricity in enormous quantities. Thus we find plants must be located close to the great hydroelectric developments of the nation. With the shortage of power and 24-hour shifts on those rivers whose vast energies already have been harnessed. The great public power developments in the Tennessee Valley and on the Colorado are straining to capacity, or soon will be. Elsewhere, private plants and other systems are working close to peak loads, and still we need more power. The more we pile up metallic aluminum, the more we must push expansion of the plants to fabricate it. More than 2,000 feet in length and itself only a part of a larger structure. From such a mill as this, will come the rolled sheets worn by great pressure to thicknesses measured in thousands of an inch. In all its various forms, aluminum comes out of the northwest and southeast and northeast and midwest and far west to supply the aircraft plants of America. Because we are building not dozens, but thousands and tens of thousands of airplanes, we are facing a shortage of aluminum. Nearly three-fourths of the total weight of an airplane is aluminum or aluminum alloy. Hours is a gigantic task. In 1939, we put 40 million pounds of aluminum into military aircraft. Next year, we must put into aircraft and other military uses an estimated billion and a half pounds. Even these estimates of our military needs may be low, and they make no allowance whatever for filling civilian needs. Into these eagles of defense, we will put our old pots and pans in spread so that we can help make sure aluminum will not fail The essential relationship of man to man, material to material, nation to nation and continent to continent can be symbolized in the making of this faithful man. For this, we now know. We must have aluminum to fly, and fly we must. High and fly and fast.


It is Christmas Eve and like all of you good people, the harrasses are busy making last-minute preparation. Let's see now. My presents are all wrapped. I have the wreath on the door, the holly in the windows and Phil, what are you doing? Sweeping out the fireplace. What for? So Santa won't get his suit sooty. I don't want no sloppy St. Nick around my house. Well, of course dear. And what time do you expect old Clyde? Clyde? Yes. Santa Clyde. I hope his wife is with him too. His wife? Yeah, Santa Myrtle. What's got men to you? I'm just talking your language. I overheard you telling the children a Christmas story this afternoon and everybody's name was either Myrtle or Clyde. Now you're just exaggerating. I am, huh? Wait a minute. Phyllis, Phyllis, come here a minute dear. What do you want, Mommy? Daddy was telling you his story this afternoon about Santa. What are the names of his reindeer? Dancer, Prince, your Donner Blitz and Myrtle, Rob and Clyde. Well that was very good dear, except you left one out. Which one? Irving. He's the little one on the end. Oh girls, doesn't the house look beautiful all decorated? Oh it looks wonderful, Mommy. But Mommy, Daddy, we want to ask you a favor. We'd like to stay up and see Santa Claus when he brings the presents tonight. Could we? Well, honey, well he has a lot of other stops to make and he might get here very late and then he... Oh can't we Daddy, please? Well, okay. Now you kids continue to behave yourselves and I promise that you'll see Santa. Now will you run along and play? Oh thanks Daddy. Oh gee Phyllis, I can hardly wait for tonight. Oh Phyll, Phyll, why did you promise the children that? Now if they don't see Santa they'll be very disappointed. But they'll see him. And just to make sure I'm going to dress up like Santa and come down that chimney. They won't be able to tell me from the real one. Daddy! Yes dear?  Boy was that corny. Phyllis, I still can't figure out how they knew it was me last year. What did I do that was wrong? For one thing, you were supposed to come in singing jingle bells. I did. Yes I know but those lyrics, I can still hear them. Ham hocks and turnip greens, they melt right in your mouth. A candy jam's and a hominy grits. And that's what I like about the South. Yeah! You got more applause than I do. What's so wrong about those lyrics? That isn't the way we sing it up North. Well can I help it if you Yankees don't know the right words? Oh but Alice, I guess you're right. We're going to have to get somebody else to play Santa. I guess we will. And another thing, it's Christmas Eve. When are you going to get the tree? Oh I bought that this afternoon, it's at the market. I didn't have room in my car to carry it so I asked Willie to pick it up on his way over. We'll have the tree that I'm not worried about. But gee whiz honey, who are we going to get to play Santa Claus? Hey wait a minute Phil, I have an idea. Let's get Don Wilson to play Santa. Yeah, old fatso. He'll be great. Don is our man. I'll call him right now and see if he can come over tonight.  That's well. Now the kids won't be disappointed. Santa will show up. Uh oh, that must be Willie with the tree. Hiya Curly. Well if it ain't France's the red nose reindeer. You can early go, huh? Merry Christmas, friendly. Merry Christmas Curly. I got a present for you. Here it is. Me? You got a present for little old Curly headed me. Yeah I got you a little. Oh Frankie that's sweet of you. I don't know what to say. What's all right Curly? But the thought. You don't know how I appreciate it. Well it touches me deeply and I... If you're going to get sloppy about it I'll take it back. Well don't stand there. Open it up. See what it is. Oh gee Frankie. Just what I wanted. Tissue paper. The present's under the paper. Here it is. Why it's a bottle. It's not just a bottle. It's imported champagne. You bought a bottle of champagne for me? And gee whiz. It's almost half full too. They didn't have any splits so I bought a magnum and siphoned it off. Where's Alice? Oh she's inside calling Don Wilson. See the kids want to see Santa Claus tonight so we asked Don to play it for us. Why are you getting Don Wilson to play Santa? Well what else am I going to do? Well let him stay up and see the real Santa Claus. Yeah but I don't know what time he's going to get... Can I have that again Herman? Why don't you let the kids see the real Santa Claus?  So you're another one of those cynics huh? A wise guy who don't believe. You do? Of course. Just because you've never seen him don't mean he's not there. You must realize Curly there are some things in life that are inexplicable. There exist certain psychic phenomena that are ethereal and beyond the comprehension of we mere mortals. Don't you agree? Oh undoubtedly. Curly you can take my word for it the real guy will show up. I see him every Christmas. Remly tell me how come you see Santa Claus every Christmas and I don't? Well Curly I can best explain that by saying there are a lot of things I see that you don't. Yeah that I know but I'm talking about Christmas not New Year's Eve. Well all I gotta say is it's a good thing kids have more common sense and faith than some grown-ups. Or Christmas wouldn't be much fun. I know that tonight old Saint Nick and his reindeer will come flying through the sky. Yeah but do you mind if we have somebody stand in in case he's grounded by a heavy smog over LA? Alright Scott if you will infidel. Phil I just called Don Wilson and he can't make it. Merry Christmas Alice. Oh hello Frankie Merry Christmas. As I was saying Phil Don can't make it but he said he has a lot of active friends and he'll send one of them over. Oh darn it. None would have been perfect. Hey Alice it's none of my business but why hire a phony Santa Claus when the kids are going to see the real one? Well we just wanted to... What did he say Phil? Paying no attention to him honey he ain't been the same since he switched to yami yogurt. I don't understand you people you seem to have lost faith. You got the house decorated lights outside holly reeds in the windows and a beautiful Christmas... Wait a minute where's your Christmas tree? It's coming it's coming. Just take your time Willie's bringing it over and if you don't think that I have the Christmas spirit Remly. Will you see that tree? Oh it's a beauty. It better be. It is don't worry Remly it's about eight feet tall and it's nice and full and it's green and... Uh oh that must be Willie with the tree now. Come in. Hi ho everybody and a merry Christmas.  Well I got the tree. Good Willie I'll go out in the car and help you carry it in. Oh that won't be necessary I have it right here in one of these bags. In a...in a bag? Well how'd you get an eight foot tree in a bag? Oh I didn't get the eight foot one that was much too expensive so instead I purchased this two foot table model. How do you like it? Willie what kind of a color is that? Shocking pink. Isn't it lovely? Oh Willie a shocking pink Christmas tree isn't that a little peculiar? Oh on the contrary on the contrary dear. The man said that if you trim a shocking pink tree with cerise ornaments and chartreuse bulbs it will look positively scintillating. Well love it up. Oh what do you know? What do you think of it Phillip? I'll give you three seconds to get that shredded locks out of here. Brother how much trouble can you have? No tree and I'm worried about the guy Don Sendon to play Santa. Well Phillip if you want someone to play the part I should be only too happy to portray Christopher Kringle. Christopher? Well done are my blitzons. Fine Santa Claus you'd make up. I'd make an excellent one. I'm quite an actor you know. I can see myself popping out of the chimney bounding into the living room and saying ho ho ho and a merry Christmas to you little kitties. And what do you we darlings desire as a Yuletide memento? Thank you to Lulabacca. I'm sorry Willie we can't use you it won't work. Well if you don't want me to help I won't. I have to run along anyway I have to meet my girlfriend at the taxidermist. I hope they did a good job on her. Goodbye.   Wouldn't that be beautiful? I hope that guy that Don Sendon over will make a good Santa. Stop worrying about your make-believe Santas. The real one will be here. Well we have to worry about getting a decent treat. Oh yeah come on look Remly we'll go over to the market and pick the one up that I ordered. Hey we'll be back soon Alice. Okay dear. Gee I hope the man Don is sending over looks the pot. If he doesn't the girls will think that... Mommy it's getting late. When is Santa gonna get here? Gee mommy do you think maybe he isn't coming? No no don't fret girls. Of course he's coming. So you better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. He's making a list and checking it twice. Gonna find out who's naughty and nice. Santa Claus is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good for goodness sake. Oh you better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. With a great big bag of presents. And you give them all away. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. Good for goodness sake. Oh you better watch out. You better not cry. Better not pout I'm telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town. Now wait a minute the lights are still on. Now look there's Julius. Where? Right over there. He's rifling the cash register. He's counting the receipts. I'll get him to open it up. Hey Julius open up the door Julius. Come on we want to get in. Hey hurry it up will you kid. We can't wait all night. Come on kid open that door. I said open the door. We want a big tree. For Mr. Harris. And what time is the lynching?   Look kid I want to buy that big Christmas tree I saw here this afternoon. I don't like the one you saw Willie. Mr. Harris I'm disappointed. I saved that tree just for you. Shock and pink is your color. It matches your eyes.  Look I want that big one I saw this afternoon. Okay come on in the back and I'll get it for you. Alright come on Remly you can help me. I'll wait here at the counter Curly. I thought it was a spin at piano. I was trying to play White Christmas. Remly. Now get away from there and help us carry this tree out to the car. Where is it Julius? Right here. Oh yeah that's the one. And thanks for saving it for me kid. That's okay. Merry Christmas Mr. Harris. Same to you. Oh Julius by the way drop over to the house a little later. We got a little present for you. Come over there huh. Alright now come on Remly let's take this tree home and get a trim. Yeah. That's the last ornament. Gee that tree looks pretty. It sure does. How do you like it Curly? Oh sure looks well but where's the guy that's going to play Santa Claus. He's supposed to be here by 10 and it's after 11 now and you... Frankie what have you got there? Milk and cookies for Santa Claus. I put them on the mantle for him every year. Milk and cookies.  Let's leave him something more nourishing like a bear and a couple of pretzels.  I'll put the milk and cookies over the fireplace. Where are the kids Alice? They're upstairs waiting for Santa. Everybody's waiting. When's the guy going to show up? Be patient Curly. He's got a long trip from the North Pole. Besides his reindeer ain't as young as they used to be. Oh keep quiet. At least Don's friend can do us to get here on time. This subterfuge is also unnecessary. Uh oh that must be Santa now. I'll let him in. And I'll go with you honey. Well Merry Christmas Santa Claus. Merry Christmas and high up there'll be. Sandy what are you doing here?   Ho ho ho ho. Is my a bowl big enough? Yes yes in fact that's the biggest one I've seen since the Rose Bowl. Hey Andy that's quite a figure you got there. Yeah sexy ain't it. You know I think I look charming in this Santa Claus outfit. Charming he said. Where'd you get that messy red suit it's got spots all over it. I rented it. The Santa Claus that had it last year was a sloppy eater.   Where'd you rent that moth eating thing. Well that I didn't rent. I was playing canasta with Monty Woolly and I wanted. Of course if you don't like me a Santa Claus. Play no attention to him Andy. I think you make a wonderful Santa Claus. And I do too. The girls will get a big kick out of this. I'll go call them. And Andy try to convince the children you're really Santa Claus. The children? Phil I thought I was doing this for your benefit.  And I'd like to pay you for it. Oh no I don't want any money for this Phil. But if you want you can buy me a little something for Christmas. Like what? Oh anything Alice can afford. Okay Andy now it's up to you to make the kids think that you're Santa. This impersonation is preposterous. Santa Claus won't like this. Besides you'll never be able to fool a kid. Oh I don't know. With this costume and bag of toys over my shoulder I shouldn't have any trouble. No I don't think so either Andy but gee wiz it'd be awful if you don't fool them. If there was just some kid.  Julius that's just the kid we need. Hey come on in here Julius.  Oh don't worry Phil.  Okay Andy I certainly hope. You know what Mr. Harris? Way to go Mike.  No why? You left your red flannels lying on the chair. Why not red flannels? Don't you recognize me sonny? You look familiar. Well I'll give you a hint. I'm that jolly old man with the white beard. Ho ho ho ho ho. Well if it ain't a bloated gabby haze. Look Gabby haze now look he's wearing a red suit and he's got a beard. What is he? A Bolshevik. Julius don't be silly. Don't you recognize sandy claws when you see them? This is sandy claws? That's right sonny I'm old saint Nick.   Now sit on my lap and I'll tell you what. Tell me what you want for Christmas. Or I'll sit on your lap and break every bone in your precious bone. There goes a cute kid Santa. He has all the charm of a wet cigar.  Oh Remly that don't mean nothing. He's just a wise little guy besides he's older than my kids. When the girls come down they won't know the difference. Come along children. He's right in here. Well there he is. Gee, Santa Claus. Hello Santa. Merry Christmas and don't forget my new television series with Wild Bill Hickok. Starting soon. Find Santa Claus he's got to get a plug in. Well come here children and sit on my lap. Which one? You got three of them. Well sit on the one with the knees. How do you like old Santa? We like you fine Santa. But what happened to your voice? You have a cold? Yeah. You see they raised my rent at the North Pole and I had to move into a leaky e-glute. Well old Santa has to be going now. Here are your toys girls. Thank you Santa. Yeah thanks. Well I'll be singing next year. Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night. Up dancer, up prancer, up myrtle, Rob Clyde. You better come back Santa you forgot Irving. Well children what did you think of Santa Claus? I thought he was divine. I thought he was Andy. You mean you kids knew that it was Andy divine? Sure but we didn't want to say anything and hurt his feelings. Daddy when is the real Santa coming? Well look kids you see he... He'll be here soon Franky. Look kids he may get here too late so I'll tell you what.  Well alright daddy but we wanted so much to see him. I know you did kids but well maybe next year.  You ready? It was the night before Christmas and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The children... I thought I heard sleigh bells. No. The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced through their head. Alice what are those bells? What's this? Quiet Curly. Merry Christmas Santa. Franky who are you talking to? I don't see anybody. The kids do. Look at him. Gee Santa we knew you'd come. They couldn't fool us with any make believe Santa Claus. We were waiting just for you. Oh sure we've been very good girls. What a lovely dollhouse. Thank you. And all these things are for me. Can I open them now? Alright Santa we'll wait till morning. Thank you very much. And a merry Christmas to you too Santa. Of course we'll tell them. Merry Christmas and goodbye Santa Claus. Of course you didn't. He sure is a nice looking old man. Alice did you see him? I'm not sure if they're like... I almost thought I saw him standing by the fireplace. But Alice how could it be if he was standing there? Well so what are you staring at? The mantle. Alice the milk and cookies. They're gone. This is Phil. I want to thank Andy Devine for doing a wonderful job for us. Thanks Andy as always you were great. Ladies and gentlemen a few weeks ago I made a record called The Thing. And because you liked it it became a hit. And that was a big thrill for me. But it didn't compare with the thrill I got when The Thing gave us the idea for a thing for kids for Christmas. The Thing for Kids campaign to give needy children toys to make this Christmas real for them has been a huge success. And you've done it. You've made it possible for millions of children to wake up tomorrow morning to enjoy their happiest Christmas. And thank you for it. By giving generously you truly have made Christmas the Thing. And now on behalf of Alice and my children and my cast my writers my producer and my whole company let me wish you a very merry and rewarding Christmas. Merry Christmas everybody. This program was produced and directed by Paul Phillips included in today's cast with Andy Devine. Now head a hopper later TheatreGill presents David Copperfield on NBC.