Chapter 1 of Sewing and Reaping. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper. Chapter 1.  He was doing a splendid business. What could have induced him? They say that his wife was bitterly opposed to the business. I don't know, but I think it quite likely. She's never seemed happy since John has kept saloon. Well, I would never let any woman lead me by the nose. I would let her know that as the living comes by me, the way of getting it is my affair, not hers, as long as she is well provided for. All men are not alike, and I confess that I value the peace and happiness of my home more than anything else, and I would not like to engage in any business which I knew was a source of constant pain to my wife. But what right has a woman to complain if she has everything she wants? I would let her know pretty soon who holds the reins if I had such an unreasonable creature to deal with. I think as much of my wife as any man, but I want her to know her place and I know mine. What do you call her place? I call her place staying at home and attending to her own affairs, where I, a laboring man, I would never want my wife to take in work when a woman has too much on hand, something has to be neglected. Now I always furnish my wife with sufficient help and supply every want about how I get the living and where I go and what company I keep is my own business, and I would not allow the best woman in the world to interfere. I've often heard women say that they did not care what their husbands did so that they provided for them, and I think such conclusions are very sensible. Well, John, I do not think so. I think a woman must be very selfish if all she cares for her husband is to have a good provider. I think her husband's honor and welfare should be as dear to her as her own, and no true woman and wife can be indifferent to the moral welfare of her husband. Neither man nor woman can live by it better alone in the highest and best sense of the term. Now, Paul, don't go to preaching. You've always got some moon-struck theories, some wild visionary, and impracticable ideas which would work first-rate if men were angels and earth a paradise.  You are always up in the clouds while I'm trying to invest in a few acres or town lots of solid terra firma. And would your hold on earthly possessions be less firm because you looked beyond the scene to the unseen? I think it would if I let conscience interfere constantly with every business transaction I undertook. Now, last week you lost $500 fair and square because you would not foreclose that mortgage on Smith's property. I told you that business is business and that while I pitied the poor man, I would not have risked my money that way. But you said that conscience would not let you that while other creditors were gathering like hungry vultures around the poor man, you would not join with them and that you did not believe in striking a man when he's down. Now, Paul, as a businessman, if you want to succeed, you have got to look at business in a practical common sense way. Smith is dead and where is your money now? Apparently lost, but the time may come when I shall feel that it was one of the best investments I ever made. Stranger things than that have happened. I confess that I felt the loss and it has somewhat clamped my business. Yet if it was to do over again, I don't think I would act differently. And when I believe that Smith's death was hurried on by anxiety and business troubles, while I regret the loss of my money, I'm thankful that I did not press my claim. Sour grapes, but you are right to put the best face on matters. No, if it were to do over again, I never would push a struggling man to the wall when he was making a desperate fight for his wife and little ones. Well, Paul, we are both young men just commencing life and my motto is to look out for number one.  So do I when I can make every corner out to my advantage. I believe in every man looking out for himself. You will see by the dialogue that the characters I hear introduce are the antipodes of each other. They have both been pupils in the same school and then after life being engaged as grocers, they frequently met and renew their acquaintance. They were both established in business, having passed the threshold of that important event, setting out in life. As far as their outward life was concerned, they were acquaintances, but to each other's inner life they were strangers. John Anderson has a fine, robust constitution, good intellectual abilities and superior business faculties. He is eager, keen and alert. And if there is one article of faith that moves in colors all his life more than anything else, it is a firm and unfaltering belief in the main chance. He is made up his mind to be rich and his highest ideal of existence may be expressed in four words, getting on in life. To this object he is ready to sacrifice time, talent, energy and every faculty which he possesses. Now he will go farther, he will spend honor, conscience and manhood in an eager search for gold. He will change his heart into a ledger on which he will write, tear and tread in lost game, exchange and barter, and he will succeed as worthy men count success. He will add house to house, he will encompass the means of luxury, his purse will be plethora, but oh how poverty-stricken his soul will be. Costly vines will please his taste, but unappeased hunger will gnaw at his soul. Amid the blasts of winter he will have the warmth of Calcutta in his own, and the health of the ocean and the breezes of a mountain shall fan his bra, amid the heats of summer, but there will be a coolness in his soul that no breath of summer can ever dispel.  Paul Clifford, whom we have also introduced to you, was the only son of a widow whose young life had been overshadowed by the curse of intemperance. Her husband, a man of splendid abilities and magnificent culture, had fallen a victim to the wine cup.  Gathering up the remains of what had been an ample fortune, she installed herself in an humble and unpretending home in the suburbs of the city of B, and there with loving solicitude she had watched over and superintendent the education of her only son. He was a promising boy, full of life and vivacity, having inherited much of the careless joyousness of his father's temperament. And although he was the light and joy of his own, yet his mother sometimes felt as if her heart was contracting with the spasm of agony when she remembered that it was through that same genealogy of disposition and wonderful fascination of manner the tempter had woven his meshes for her husband, and that the qualities that made him so desirable at home made him equally so to his jovial, careless, inexperienced companions. Be careful that the appetite for a strong Greek might have been transmitted to her child as a fatal legacy of sin. She sedulously endeavored to develop within him self-control, feeling that the lack of it is a prolific cause of misery and crime, and she spared no pains to create within his mind a whore of intemperance, and when he was old enough to understand the nature of a vow, she knelt with him in earnest prayer and pledging him to eternal enmity against everything that would intoxicate thee, whether fermented or distilled. In the morning she sowed the seed which she hoped would blossom in time and bear fruit throughout eternity. End of Chapter 1. Chapter 2 of Sowing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper. This Libra Box recording is in the public domain. Chapter 2. The decision. I hear Belle, said Jeanette Rowland, addressing her cousin Belle Gordon, that you have refused an excellent offer of marriage. Who said so? Emma, I'm very sorry that Ma told you I think such things should be kept sacred from comment, and I think the woman is wanting in refinement and delicacy a feeling who makes the rejection of a lover a theme for conversation. Now you dear little prude, I had no idea that you would take it so seriously, but Aunt Emma was so disappointed and spoke of the rejected suitor in such glowing terms and said that you have sacrificed a splendid opportunity because of some squeamish notions on the subject of templates. And so of course my dear cousin, it was just like me to let my curiosity overstep the bounds of prudence and inquire why you rejected Mr. Romain. Because I could not trust him. Couldn't trust him?  Why not? Because I feel that the hands of a moderate drinker are not steady enough to hold my future happiness. Was that all? Why I breathe again, we girls would have to refuse almost every young man in our set were we to take that stand. And suppose you were, would that be any greater misfortune than to be the wives of drunkards? I don't see the least danger. Ma has wine at her entertainments, and I have often handed it to young gentlemen, and I don't see the least harm in it. On last New Year's Day, we had more than 50 callers. Ma and I handed wine to every one of them. Oh, I do wish people would abandon that pernicious custom of handing around wine on New Year's Day. I do think it is a dangerous and reprehensible thing. I do not realize the danger. Of course, I do not approve of young men drinking in bar rooms and saloons. But I cannot see any harm in handing round wine at social gatherings. Not to do so would seem so odd. It is said Jeanette, he is a slave who does not be in the right with two or three. It is better, wiser, far to stand alone in our integrity than to join with the multitude in doing wrong. You say while you do not approve of young men drinking in bar rooms and saloons that you have no objection to their drinking beneath the shadow of their homes. Why do you object to their drinking in saloons and bar rooms? Because it is vulgar. I think these bar rooms are horrid places. I would walk squares out of my way to keep from passing them and I object to in temperance, not simply because I think it is vulgar, but because I know it is wicked. And Jeanette, I have a young brother for whose welfare I am constantly trembling, but I'm not afraid that he will take his first glass of wine in a fashionable saloon or flashy gin palace. But I do dread his entrance into what you call our set. I fear that my brother has received as an inheritance a temperament which will be easily excited by stimulants that an appetite for liquor once awakened will be hard to subdue. And I am so fearful that at some social gathering a thoughtless girl will hand him a glass of wine and that the first glass will be like adding fuel to a smoldering fire. Oh Belle, do stop. What a train of horrors you can conjure out of an innocent glass of wine. Anything can be innocent that sparkles to betray that charms at first, but later it will bite like an adder and sting like a serpent. Really Belle, if you keep on at this rate you will be a manomaniac on the Templin's question. However I do not think Mr. Romain will feel highly complimented to know that you refused him because you dreaded he might become a drunkard. You surely did not tell him so. Yes I did, and I do not think that I would have been a true friend to him had I not done so. Oh Belle, I never could have had the courage to have told him so. Why not? I would have dreaded hurting his feelings. Were you not afraid of offending him? I certainly shrank from the pain which I knew I must inflict but because I valued his welfare more than my own feelings I was constrained to be faithful to him. I told him that he was drifting where he ought steer that instead of holding the helm and rudder of his young life he was floating down the stream and unless he stood firmly on the side of Templin's that I never would clasp hands with him for life. But Belle, perhaps you have done him more harm than good, maybe you could have affected his reformation by consenting to marrying him. Jeanette, were I the wife of a drunken man? I do not think there is any depth of degradation that I would not fathom with my love and pity in trying to save him. I believe I would cling to him if even his own mother shrank from him but I never would consent to marry any man whom I knew to be unsteady in his principles and a moderate drinker. If his love for me and respect for himself were not strong enough to reform him before marriage I should despair of affecting it afterwards and with me in such a case discretion would be the better part of Valor. And so you have given Mr. Romain a release. Yes, he is free and I think you have thrown away a splendid opportunity. I don't think so. The risk was too perilous. Oh, Jeanette, I know by mournful and bitter experience what it means to dwell beneath the shadow of a home cursed by intemplance. I know what it is to see that shadow deepen into the darkness of a drunkard's grave and I dare not run the fearful risk. And yet, Belle, this has cost you a great deal.  I know from the intonations of your voice that you are suffering intensely. Yes, Jeanette, I confess it was like tearing up the roots of my life to look at this question fairly and squirrely in the face and to say no, but I must learn to suffer and be strong. I'm deeply pained. It is true, but I do not regret the steps I've taken. The man who claims my love and allegiance must be a victor and not a slave. The reeling brain of a drunkard is not a safe foundation on which to build up a new home. Well, Belle, you may be right, but I think I would have risked it. I don't think because Mr. Romain drinks occasionally that I would have given him up. Oh, young men will sew their wild oats. And as we sew, so must we reap. And as to saying about young men sewing their wild oats, I think it is full of pernicious license. A young man has no more right to sew his wild oats than a young woman. God never made one coat of ethics for a man and another for a woman. And it is the duty of all true women to demand of men the same standard of morality that they do of woman. Belle, that is very fine in theory, but you would find it rather difficult if you tried to reduce your theory to practice. All that may be true, but the difficulty of a duty is not a valid excuse for its non-performance. My dear cousin, it is not my role to be a reformer. I take things as I find them and drift along the tide of circumstances. And is that your highest ideal of life? Why, Jeanette, such a life is not worth living. Whether it is or not, I'm living it and I rather enjoy it. Your vexing problems of life never disturb me. I do not think I am called to turn this great world right side up with care, and so I float along singing as I go. I'd be a butterfly born in a bower kissing every rose that is pleasant and sweet. I'd never languish for wealth or for power. I'd never sigh to have slaves at my feet. Such a life would never suit me. Life must mean to me more than ease, luxury, and indulgence. It must mean aspiration and consecration, endeavor, and achievement. Well, Belle, should we live twenty years longer, I would like to meet you and see by comparing notes which of us shall have gathered the most sunshine or shadow from life. Yes, Jeanette, we will meet in less than twenty years, but before then your glad light eyes will be dim with tears, and the easy path you have striven to walk will be thickly strewn with thorn. And whether you deserve it or not, life will have for you a mournful earnestness, but notwithstanding all your frivolity and flippancy there is fine gold in your character, which the fire of affliction only will reveal. End of Chapter 2, Chapter 4 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 4. How is business? Very dull. I'm losing terribly. Any prospect of times brightening? I don't see my way out clear, but I hope there will be a change for the better. Confidence has been greatly shaken. Many business have grown exceedingly timid about investing, and there is a general depression in every department of trade and business. Now, Paul, will you listen to reason and common sense? I have a proposition to make. I'm about to embark in a profitable business, and I know that it will pay better than anything else I could undertake in these times. Men will buy liquor if they have not got money for other things. I'm going to open a first-class saloon and clubhouse on M Street. And if you will join with me, we can make a splendid thing of it. Well, just see how well off Joe Hardin is since he set up in the business and what he does put on. I know when he was not worth $50 and kept a little low groggery on the corner of L&S streets, but he is out of that now, keeps a first-class cafe, and owns a block of houses. Now, Paul, here is a splendid chance for you, business's doll, and now accept this opening. Of course, I mean to keep a first-class saloon. I don't intend to tolerate loafing or disorderly conduct or to sell to drunken men. In fact, I shall put up my scale of prices so that you need fear, no annoyance from raw-flow boisterous men who don't know how to behave themselves. What say you, Paul? I say no, I wouldn't engage in such a business, not if it paid me $100,000 a year. I think these first-class saloons are just as great a curse to the community as the low groggeries, and I look upon them as the fountain heads of the low groggeries. The man who begins to drink in that well-lighted and splendidly furnished saloon is in danger of finishing in the lowest ends of vice and shame. As you please, said John Anderson, stiffly I thought that as business's doll that I would show you a chance that would yield you a handsome profit, but if you refuse there is no harm done. I know young men who would jump at the chance. You may think it strange that knowing Paul Clifford as John Anderson did that he should propose to him an interest in a drinking saloon, but John Anderson was a man who was almost destitute of faith in human goodness. His motto was that every man has his price, and as business was fairly dull and Paul was somewhat cramped for want of capital, he thought a good business investment would be the price for Paul Clifford's conscientious scruples. Anderson, said Paul, looking him calmly in the face, he may call me visionary and impracticable, but I am determined, however poor I may be, never to engage in any business on which I cannot ask God's blessing. And John, I am sorry from the bottom of my heart that you have concluded to give up your grocery and keep a saloon. You cannot keep that saloon without sending a flood of demoralizing influence over the community. Your profit will be the loss of others. Young men will form in that saloon habits which will curse and overshadow all their lives. Husbands and fathers will waste their time and money and confirm themselves in habits which will bring misery, crime and degradation. And the fearful outcome of your business will be broken-hearted wives, neglected children, outcast men, blighted characters, and worse than wasted lives. No, not for the wealth of the indies would I engage in such a ruinous business and I am thankful today that I had a dear saint and mother who taught me that it was better to have my hands clear than to have them full. How often would she lay her dear hands upon my head and clasp my hands in hers and say, Paul, I want you to live so that you can always feel that there is no I before whose glance you will shrink, no voice from whose tones your heart will quail because your hands are not clean or your record not pure. I feel glad today that the precepts and example of that dear mother have given tone and coloring to my life. And though she has been in her grave for many years, her memory and her words are still to me and ever present inspiration. Yes, Paul, I remember your mother. I wish, oh well, there is no use wishing, but if all Christians were like her, I would have more faith in their religion. But John, the failure of others is no excuse for our own derelictions. Well, I suppose not. It is said the way Jerusalem was kept clean. Every man swept before his own door, and so you will not engage in the business. No, John, no money I would earn would be the least inducement. How foolish, said John Anderson to himself as they parted, there is a young man who might succeed splendidly if he would only give up some of his old fashioned notions and launch out into life as if he had some common sense. As it is, I think he will find out before long that he has got to shut his eyes and swallow down a great many things he don't like. After the refusal of Paul Clifford, John soon found a young man of facile conscience who was willing to join with him in a conspiracy of sin against the peace, happiness and welfare of the community. And he spared neither pains nor expense to make his loon attractive to what he called the young bloods of this city. And by these he meant young men whose parents were wealthy and whose sons had more leisure and spending money than was good for them. He succeeded in fitting up a magnificent palace of sin. Night after night till morning flashed the Orient. Eager and anxious men sat over the gaming table watching the turn of a card or the throw of a dice. Sparkling champagne or ruby tinted wine were served in beautiful and cost the glasses. Rich devans and easy chairs invited weary men to seek repose from unnatural excitement. Occasionally women entered that saloon but they were ribboned, not as God had made them but as sin had debased them. Women whose costly jewels and magnificent robes were the livery of sin, the outside garnishing of moral death. The flesh upon whose cheek was not the flesh of happiness and the light in their eyes was not the sparkle of innocent joy. Women whose laughter was sadder than their tears and who were dead while they lived in that house were wine and mirth and revelry, but the dead were there. Men dead to virtue, true honor and rectitude who walked the streets as other men laughed, chatted, bought, sold, exchanged, and bartered, but whose souls were encased in living tunes, bodies that were dead to righteousness but alive to sin. Like a spider weaving its meshes around the unwary fly, John Anderson wove his network of sin around the young men that entered his saloon. Before they entered there it was pleasant to see the supple vigor and radiant health that were manifested in the poise of their bodies, the lightness of their eyes, the freshness of their lips and the bloom upon their cheeks. But, oh, it was so sad to see how soon the manly gait would change to the drunkard's stagger to see eyes once bright with intelligence growing vacant and confused and giving place to the drunkard's flair. In many cases, lassitude supplanted vigor and sickness over mastered health, but the saddest thing was the fearful power that appetite had gained over its victims and though nature lifted her signals of distress and sent her warnings through weakened nerves and disturbed functions and although they were wasting money, time, talents, and health, ruining their characters and alienating their friends and bringing untold agony to hearts that loved them and yearned over their defections, yet the fascination grew stronger and ever and an arm grave opened at their feet and disguised it as loving friends might the seeds of death had been nourished by the fiery waters of alcohol. End of Chapter 4 Chapter 6 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Maharper This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 6 For a few days, the most engrossing topic in AP was what shall I wear and what will you wear? There was an amount of shopping to be done and dressmakers to be consulted and employed before the great event of this season came off. At length the important evening arrived and in the home of Mr. Glossett, a wealthy and retired whiskey dealer, there was a brilliant array of wealth and fashion. Could all the misery his liquor had caused been turned into blood? There would have been enough to have oozed in great drops from every marvel ornament or beautiful piece of fresco that adorned his home for that home with its beautiful surroundings and costly furniture was the price of blood. But the glamour of his wealth was in the eyes of his guests and they came to be amused and entertained and not to moralize on his ill-gotten wealth. The wine flowed out in unstinted measures and some of the women so forgot themselves as to attempt to rival the men in drinking the barrier being thrown down. Charles drank freely till his tones began to thicken and his eyes to grow muddled and he sat down near Jeanette and tried to converse but he was too much under the influence of liquor to hold a sensible and coherent conversation.  Well, Miss Jenny, I believe you're about half right. My head does feel funny. I shouldn't wonder. Mine feels rather dizzy. I've come home without a sycetic and I know what her headaches mean, said Jeanette significantly. My head, said Mary Gladstone, really feels as big as a bucket. And I feel real dizzy, said another. And so do I, said another. I feel as if I could hardly stand. I feel awful weak. Why, girls, you are all, all tipsy. Now just don't write up and be done with it, said Charles Romain. You are as good as a wizard. I believe we have all got too much wine aboard, but we are not as bad as the girls of BS for they succeeded in out drinking them in. I heard the men drank eight bottles of wine and they drank 16. Alas for these young people, they were sporting upon the verge of a precipice but its slippery edge was concealed by flowers. They were playing with the firebrands of death and they were Roman candles and harmless rockets. Good morning, Belle, said Jeanette Roman to her cousin Belle as she entered her cousin's sitting room the morning after the party and found Jeanette lounging languidly upon the sofa. Good morning, it is a lovely day. Why are you not out enjoying the fresh air? Can't you put on your things and go shopping with me? I think you have excellent taste and I often want to consult it. Well, after all then, I am of some account in your eyes. Of course you are. Who said you were not? Oh, nobody, only I had an idea that you thought that I was as useless as a canary bird. I don't think that a canary bird is at all a useless thing. It charms our ears with its song and pleases our eye with its beauty and I am a firm believer in the utility of beauty but can you or rather, will you not go with me? Oh, Belle, I would, but I am as sleepy as a cat. What's the matter? I was up so late last night at Mrs. Glossop's party but really it was a splendid affair. Everything was in the richest perfusion and their house is magnificently furnished. Oh, Belle, I wish you could have been there. I don't. There are two classes of people with whom I never wish to associate or number as my special friends and they are rum sellers and slaveholders. Oh, well, Mr. Glossop is not in the business now and what is the use of talking about the past? Don't be always remembering a man's sins against him. Would you say the same of a successful pirate who could fare sumptuously from the effects of his piracy? No, I would not. But Belle, the case is not at all parallel. Not entirely. One commits his crime against society within the pale of the law. The other commits his outside. They are both criminals against the welfare of humanity. One murders the body and the other stabs the soul. If I knew that Mr. Glossop was sorry for having been a liquor dealer and was bringing forth fruits, meat, for repentance, I would be among the first to hail his reformation with heartfelt satisfaction. But when I hear that while he no longer sells liquor that he constantly offers it to his guests, I feel that he should rather sit down in sackcloth and ashes than fire aside at sumptuous feasts obtained by liquor selling. When crime is sanctioned by law and upheld by custom and fashion, it assumes its most dangerous phase. And there's often a fearful fascination in the sin that is environed by success. Oh, Belle, do stop. I really think that you will go crazy on the subject of temperance. I think you must have written these lines and picked up somewhere. Let me see what they are.  Hate is a feeble word. No, Jeanette, I did not write them, but I have felt all the writer has so nervously expressed. In my own sorrow, darkened home, and over my poor father's grave, I learned to hate liquor in any form with all the intensity of my nature. Well, it was a good thing you were not at Mrs. Glossop's last night and all of our heads were rather dizzy, and I know that Mr. Romain was out of gear. Now, Belle, don't look so shocked and pained. I'm sorry I told you. Yes, I'm very sorry. I have great hopes that Mr. Romain had entirely given up drinking, and I was greatly pained when I saw him take a glass of wine at your solicitation. Jeanette, I think Mr. Romain feels a newly awakened interest in you, and I know that you possess great influence over him. I saw it that night when he hesitated, when you first asked him to drink, and I was so sorry to see that influence. Oh, Jeanette, instead of being its temptress, try and be the angel that keeps his steps. If Mr. Romain ever becomes a drunkard and goes down to a drunkard's grave, I cannot help feeling that a large measure of the guilt will cling to your shirts. Oh, Belle, do stop, or you will give me the horrors. Pa takes wine every day at his dinner, and I don't see that he is any worse off for it. If Charles Romain can't govern himself, I can't see how I am to blame for it. I think you are to blame for this, Jeanette, and pardon me if I speak plainly. When Charles Romain was trying to abstain, you tempted him to break his resolution, and he drank to please you. I wouldn't have done so for my right hand. They say old coals are easily kindled, and I shall be somewhat cherry about receiving attention from them if you feel so deeply upon this subject. Jeanette, you entirely misapprehend me, because I have ceased to regard Mr. Romain as a lover, does not hinder me from feeling for him as a friend. And because I am his friend and yours also, I take the liberty to remonstrate against you or offering him wine at your entertainments. Well, Belle, I can't see the harm in it. I don't believe there was another soul who refused to accept you and Mr. Freeman, and you are so straight and laced, and he is rather green, just fresh from the country. It won't take him long to get citified. Citified or countryfied, I couldn't help admiring his strength of principle, which stood firm in the midst of temptation and would not yield to the blandishments of the hour, and so you will not go out with me this morning. Oh, no, Belle, I am too tired. Won't you excuse me? Certainly, but I must go. Good morning. What a strange creature my cousin Belle is, said Jeannette to herself as Miss Gordon left the room. She will never be like anyone else. I don't think she will ever get over my offering, Mr. Romain, that glass of wine. I wish she hadn't seen it, but I'll try and forget her and go to sleep. But Jeannette was not destined to have the whole morning for an unbroken sleep. Soon after Belle's departure, the Belle rang and Charles Romain was announced, and where he as Jeannette was, she was too much interested in his society to refuse him and arraying herself in a very tasteful and becoming manner, she went down to receive him in the parlor. End of Chapter 6. Chapter 7 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper. This Libber Vox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 7. My pleasant was the reception Jeannette Rowland gave Mr. Romain. There was no reproof upon her lips, nor implied censure in her manner. True, he had been disguised by liquor, or to use a softer phrase had taken too much wine. But others had done the same and treated it as a merry escapade, and why should she be so particular? Belle Gordon would have acted very differently, but then she was not Belle, and in this instance she did not wish to imitate her. Belle was so odd and had become very unpopular, and besides she wished to be very, very pleasant to Mr. Romain. He was handsome, agreeable, and wealthy, and she found it more congenial to her taste, to clasp hands with him and float downstream together, then help him breast the current of his wrong tendencies and stand firmly on the rock of principle. You're looking very sweet but rather pensive this morning, said Mr. Romain, noticing a shadow on the bright and beautiful face of Jeannette, whose color had deepened by the plain remarks of her cousin Belle. What is the matter? Oh, nothing much, only my cousin Belle has been here this morning and she has been putting me on the stool of repentance. Why, what have you been doing that was naughty? Oh, she was perfectly horror-stricken. When I told her about the wine we drank and Mrs. Glassop's party, I wish I had not said a word to her about it. What did she say? Oh, she thought it was awful the way we were going on. She made me feel that I did something dreadful when I offered you a glass of wine at Ma's silver wedding. I don't believe Belle ever sees a glass of wine without thinking of murder, suicide, and a drunkard's grave. But we are not afraid of those dreadful things, are we, Jeannette? Of course not, but somehow Belle always makes me feel uncomfortable when she begins to talk on temperance. She says she is terribly in earnest and I think she is. Miss Gordon and I were great friends once, said Charles Romain as a shadow flitted over his face and a slight sigh escaped his lips. Were you? Why didn't you remain so? Because she was too good for me. That is a very sorry reason, but it is true. I think Miss Gordon is an excellent young lady, but she and I wouldn't agree on the temperance question. The man who marries her has got to toe the mark.  I expect she will be an old maid. I don't know, but if I were to marry her, I should prepare myself to go to church every Sunday morning and to stay home in the afternoon and repeat my catechism. I would like to see you under her discipline. It would come hard on a fellow, but I might go farther and fare worse. And so you and Belle were great friends once. Yes, but as we could not agree on the total abstinence question we parted company. Also, did you part as lover's part? She with a wronged and broken heart, and you rejoicing you were free, glad to regain you liberty. Not at all. She gave me the mitten, and I had to take it. Were you very sorry? Yes, till I met you. Oh, Mr. Romain, said Jeanette Blushing and dropping her eyes. Why not? I think I've found in your society an ample compensation for the loss of Miss Gordon. But I think Belle is better than I am. I sometimes wish I was half so good. You're good enough for me. Belle is very good, but somehow her goodness makes a fellow uncomfortable.  One doesn't want to be treated like a wild beast in a menagerie and to be every now and then stirred up with a long stick. What a comparison. Well, it is a fact. When a fellow's been busy all day, pouring over Coke and Blackstone or casting up weary some rows of figures and seeks a young lady's society in the evening, he wants to enjoy himself to bathe in the sunshine of her smiles and not to be lectured about his shortcomings. I tell you, Jeanette, it comes hard on a fellow. You want someone to smooth the wrinkles out of the brow of care and not to add fresh ones. Yes, and I hope it will be my fortune to have a fair, soft hand like this. Said Mr. Romain, slightly pressing Jeanette's hand to perform the welcome and agreeable task. Belle's hand would be firmer than mine for the talk. It is not the strong hand, but the tender hand I want in a woman. But Belle is very kind. She did it all for your own good. Of course she did. My father used to say so when I was a boy and he corrected me, but it didn't make me enjoy the correction. It is said our best friends are those who show us our faults and teach us how to correct them. My best friend is a dear, sweet girl who sits by my side and always welcomes me with a smile and beguiles me so with her conversation that I take no note of the hours until the striking of the clock warns me it is time to leave and I should ask no higher happiness than to be permitted to pass all the remaining hours of my life at her side. Can I dare to hope for such a happy fortune? A bright flush overspread the cheek of Jeanette Rowland. There was a sparkle of joy in her eyes as she seemed intently examining the flowers on her mother's carpet and she gently referred him to papa for an answer. In due time Mr. Rowland was interviewed his consent obtained and Jeanette Rowland and Charles Romain were affianced lovers. Girls, have you heard the news? said Miss Tabitha Jones, a pleasant and wealthy spinster to a number of young girls who were seated at her tea table. No, what is it? I hear Mr. Rowland is to be married next spring. To whom? Jeanette Rowland? Well, I do declare I thought he was engaged to Belle Gordon. I thought so too, but it is said that she refused him, but I don't believe it. I don't believe that she had a chance. Well, I do. Why did she refuse him? Because he would occasionally take too much wine. But he is not a drunkard, but she dreads that he will be. Well, I think it is perfectly ridiculous. I gave Belle credit for more common sense. I think he was one of the most manageable gentlemen in our set. Wealthy, handsome, and agreeable. What could have possessed Belle? I think he is perfectly splendid. Yes, said another girl. I think Belle stood very much in her own light. She is not rich. And if she would marry him, she could have everything heart could wish.  You wouldn't catch me throwing away such a chance. I think, said Miss Tabitha, that instead of Miss Gordon's being a silly girl, that she has acted both sensibly and honorably in refusing to marry a man she could not love. No woman should give her hand where she cannot yield her heart. Then, Miss Tabitha, the strangest thing to me is that I really believe that Belle Gordon cares more for Mr. Romaine than she does for anyone else. Her face was a perfect study that night at Mrs. Rowland's party. How so? They say that after Miss Gordon requested Mr. Romaine that for a while he scrupulously abstained from taking even a glass of wine. At several entertainments he adhered to this purpose. But on the evening of Mrs. Rowland's silver wedding, Jeanette succeeded in persuading him to take a glass in honor of the occasion. I watched Belle's face and it was a perfect study. Every nerve seemed quivering with intense anxiety. Once I think she reached out her hand unconsciously as if to snatch away the glass. And when at last he yielded, I saw the light fade from her eyes, a deadly pallor over a spread of cheek. And I thought at one time she was about to faint, but she did not, and only laid her head upon her side as if to allay a sudden spasm of agony. End of Chapter 7 Chapter 8 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 8 Paul Clifford sat at his ledger with a perplexed and anxious look. It was near two o'clock and his note was in bank. If he could not raise $500 by three o'clock, that note would be protested. Money was exceedingly hard to raise and he was about despairing once he thought of applying to John Anderson. But he said to himself, No, I will not touch his money, for it is the price of blood, for he did not wish to owe gratitude where he did not feel respect. It was now five minutes past two o'clock and in less than an hour his note would be protested unless relief came from some unexpected quarter. Is Mr. Clifford in? A wonderful manly voice. Paul suddenly roused from his painful reflections and said, Yes, come in. Good morning, sir, what can I do for you this morning? I have come to see you on business. I am at your service, said Paul. Do you remember, said the young man of having aided an unfortunate friend more than a dozen years since I lending him five hundred dollars? Yes, I remember he was an old friend of mine, a schoolmate of my father's, Charles Smith. Well, I am his son and I have come to liquidate my father's debt. Here is the money with interest for twelve years. Paul's heart gave a sudden bound of joy, strong man as he was, a mist, gathered in his eyes as he reached out his hand to receive the thrice-welcome sum. He looked at the clock. It was just fifteen minutes to three. Will you walk with me to the bank or wait till I return? I will wait, said James Smith, taking up the morning paper. You are just in time, Mr. Clifford, said the banker, smiling and bowing as Paul entered. I was afraid your note would be protested, but it is all right. Yes, said Paul. The money market is very tight, but I think I shall weather the storm. I hope so. You may have to struggle hard for a while to keep your head above the water, but you must take it for your motto that there is no such word as fail. Thank you. Good morning. Well, Mr. Smith, said Paul, when he returned, your father and mine were boys together. He was several years younger than my father and a great favorite in our family among the young folks. About twelve years since, when I had just commenced business, I lent him five hundred dollars, and when his business troubles became complicated, I refused to foreclose a mortgage which I had on his home. An acquaintance of mine sneered at my lack of business keenness and predicted that my money would be totally lost when I told him perhaps it was the best investment I ever made. He smiled incredulously and said I would rather see it than hear of it, but I will say that in all my business career I never received any money that came so opportune as this. It reminds me of those stories that I've read in fairy books. People so often fail in paying their own debts. It seems almost a mystery to me that you should pay a debt contracted by your father when you were but a boy. The clue to this mystery has been the blessed influence of my sainted mother and the flesh of satisfaction. Man told his cheek as he referred to her. After my father's death, my mother was very poor. When she looked into the drawer, there were only sixty cents in money. Of course, he had some personal property, but it was not immediately available like money, but through the help of kind friends, she was enabled to give him a respectable funeral, like many other women in her condition of life. She had been brought up in entire ignorance of managing any other business than that which belonged to her household. For years she had been shielded in the warm clasp of loving arms, but now she had to bear her breast to the storm and be father and mother both to her little ones. My father, as you know, died in debt and he was hardly in his grave when his creditors were upon her track. I've often heard her speak in the most grateful manner of your forbearance and kindness to her in her hour of trouble. My mother went to see my father's principal creditor and asked him only to give her a little time to straighten out the tangled threads of her business, but he was inexorable and said that he had waited and lost by it. Very soon he had an administrator appointed by the court who in about two months took the business in his hands, and my mother was left to struggle along with her little ones and face and uncertain future. These were dark days, but we managed to live through them. I have often heard her say that she lived by faith and not sight, that poverty had its compensations, that there was something very sweet in a life of simple trust. To her God was not some far-off and unapproachable force in the universe, the unconscious creditor of all consciousness, the unperceiving author of all perception, but a friend and a father coming near to her in sorrows taking cognizance of her grief and gently sleeping her path in life. But it was not only by precept that she taught us, her life was a living epistle. One morning as the winter was advancing and I heard her say she hoped she would be able to get a nice woolen shawl as hers was getting worse for wear. Shortly after, I went out into the street and found a roll of money lying at my feet. Oh, I remember it as well as if it had just occurred, how my heart bounded with joy.  Oh, I am so glad. And hurrying home, I laid it in her lap and said with voyage gris, hurrah for your new shawl. Look what I found in the street. What is it, my son? She said, why here is money enough to buy you a new shawl and bonnet too? It seems as if I see her now as she looked when she laid it aside and said, but James, it is not ours, not ours. Mother, why I found it in the street. Still, it is not ours. Why, mother, ain't you going to keep it? No, my son, I shall go down to the Clarion office and advertise it. But mother, why not wait till it is advertised? And what then? If there is no owner for it, then we can keep it. But James, she said calmly and sadly, I am very sorry to see you so ready to use what is not your own. I should not feel that I was dealing justly if I kept this money without endeavoring to find the owner. I confess that I was rather chop-fallen at her decision, but in a few days after advertising we found the rightful owner. She was a very poor woman who had saved by dint of hard labor for some of twenty dollars and was on her way to pay the doctor who had attended her during a spell of rheumatic fever when she lost the money and had not one dollar left to pay for advertising and being disheartened she had given up all hope of finding it when she happened to see it advertised in the paper. She was very grateful to my mother for restoring the money and offered her some compensation but she refused to take it saying she had only done her duty and would have been ashamed of herself had she not done so. Her conduct on this occasion made an impression on my mind that has never been erased. When I grew older she explained to me about my father's affairs and uncancelled debts and I resolved that I would liquidate every just claim against him and take from his memory even the shadow of a reproach. To this end I have labored late and early. Today I have paid the last claim against him and I am a free man. But how came you to find me and pay me today? I was purchasing in Jones's and brother's store when you came in to borrow money and I heard Jones tell his younger brother that he was so sorry that he could not help you and feared that you would be ruined. Who is he, said I? For out west I had lost track of you. He is Paul Clifford, a friend of your father's. Can you help him? He is perfectly reliable. We would trust him with ten thousand dollars. If we had it, can you do anything for him? We will go his security. He is a fine fellow and we hate to see him go under. Yes, said I. He was one of my father's creditors and I've often heard my mother speak of his generosity to her little ones and I'm glad that I have the privilege of helping him. I immediately went to the bank had a note cashed and I am very glad if I've been of any special service to you. You certainly have been and I feel that a heavy load had been lifted from my heart. Years ago Paul Clifford sowed the seeds of kindness and they were yielding him a harvest of satisfaction. End of chapter 8 Chapter 9 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis E. W. Harper This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. Chapter 9 Bel Gordon Bel Gordon was a Christian. She had learned or tried to realize what is meant by the apostle Paul when he said, ye are bought with a price. To her those words meant the obligation she was under to her heavenly Father for the goodness and mercy that had surrounded her life for the patience that had borne with her errors and sins and above all for the gift of his dear son the ever-blessed Christ. Faith to her was not a rich traditional inheritance a set of formulated opinions received without investigation and adopted without reflection she could not believe because others did and however plausible or popular a thing might be she was too conscientious to say she believed it if she did not and when she became serious on the subject of religion it was like entering into a wilderness of doubt and distress. She had been taught to look upon God more as the great and dreadful God than as the tender loving Father of his human children and so strong was the power of association that she found it hard to believe that God is good and yet until she could believe this there seemed to be no resting place for her soul. But in course of time the shadows were lifted from her life faith took the place of doubting and in the precious promises of the Bible she felt that her soul had found a safe and sure anchorage. If others believed because they had never doubted she believed because she had doubted and her doubts had been dispelled by the rays of heaven and believing she had entered into rest. Feeling that she was bought with a price she realized that she was not her own but the captive of divine love and that her talents were not given her to hide beneath a bushel or to use for merely selfish enjoyments that her time was not her own to be frittered away by the demands of fashion that she spent in unavailing regrets. Every reform which had for its object the lessening of human misery or the increase of human happiness found in her an earnest ally. On the subject of temperance she was terribly in earnest every fiber of her heart responded to its onward movement. There was no hut or den where human beings congregated that she felt was too vile or too repulsive to enter into her true doing. She could help lift some fallen soul out of the depths of sin and degradation while some doubted the soundness of her religious opinions none doubted the orthodoxy of her life. Little children in darkened homes smiled at the sunlight of her presence as the sunlight of her presence came over their paths. Reformed men looked upon her as a loving counselor and faithful friend and sister. Women, wretched and sorrowful dragged down from love and light by the intemperance of their husbands brought to her their heavy burdens and by her sympathy and tender consideration she helped them bear them. She was not rich in this world's goods but she was affluent in tenderness sympathy and love and out of the fullness of her heart she was a real minister of mercy among the poor and degraded believing that the inner life developed the outer she considered the poor and strove to awaken within them self-reliance and self-control feeling that one of the surest ways to render people helpless or dangerous is to crush out their self-respect and self-reliance she thought it one of the greatest privileges of her life to be permitted to scatter flowers by the wayside of life other women might write beautiful poems she did more about the meaning of brightness and beauty do you think she will die said Belle Gordon bending tenderly over a pale and fainting woman whose face in spite of its attenuation showed traces of great beauty not if she is properly cared for she is fainted from exhaustion brought on by overwork and want of proper food tears gathered in the eyes of Belle Gordon as she lifted upon her lap and chafed the pale hands to bring back warmth and circulation let her be removed to her home as soon as possible said the doctor the air is too heavy and damp for her I wonder where she lives said Belle thoughtfully scanning her face as the features began to show returning animation round the corner said an urchin she's Joe Koff's wife I see her going down the street with a great big bundle she looked like she was going to topple over where is her husband I don't know I suspect he's down to Jim Green Saloon what does he do he don't do nothing but ma'am says she works awful hard come this way said he with a quickness gathered by his constant contact with street light up to flights of rickety stairs they carried the wasted form of Mary golf and later tenderly upon a clean but very poor bed in spite of her extreme poverty there was an air of neatness in the desolate room Belle looked around and found an old teapot in which there were a few leaves there were some dry crusts in the cupboard while two little children crouched by the embers and the great and cried for the mother Belle soon found a few coals in an old basin with which she replenished the fire and covering up the sick woman as carefully as she could stepped into the nearest grocery and replenished her basket with some of good the things of life is it not too heavy for you for your might said Paul Clifford from whose grocery Belle had bought her supplies can I not send them home for you no I don't want them sent home they are for a poor woman and are suffering children who live about a square from here in Lear's Court Paul stood thoughtfully a moment before handing her the basket and said that Court has a very bad reputation had I not better accompany you I hope you will not consider my offer as an intrusion but I do not think it is safe for you to venture there alone if you think it is not safe I will accept of your company but I never thought of danger for myself in the presence of that fainting woman and her hungry children do you know her name is Mrs. Goff I think I do if it is the person I mean I remember her when she was as lighthearted and happy a girl as I ever saw but she married against her parents consent a worthless fellow named Joe Goff and in a short time she disappeared from the village and I suppose she has come home broken in health and broken in spirit and I'm afraid she has come home to die are her parents still alive yes but her father never forgave her her mother I believe would take her to her heart as readily as she ever did but her husband has an iron will and she has got to submit to him where do they live at number 200 wrong street but here we are at the door Paul carried the basket upstairs and sat down quietly while Belle prepared some refreshing tea and toast for the feeble mother and some help for the hungry children what shall I do said Belle looking tenderly upon the wand face I hate to leave her alone and yet I confess I do not prefer spending the night here of course not said Paul looking thoughtfully into the flickering fire of the great oh I have it now I know a very respectable woman who occasionally cleans out my store just wait a few moments said Paul Clifford turning to the door in a short time he returned bringing with him a pleasant looking woman whose face in spite of the poverty of her dress had a look of genuine refinement which comes not so much from mingling with people of culture as from the culture of her own moral and spiritual nature she had learned to look up and not to look down to lend a helping hand wherever she felt it was needed her life was spent in humble usefulness she was poor in this world's goods for rich in faith and good works no poor person who asked her for bread ever went away empty sometimes people would say I wouldn't give him a mouthful he is not worthy and then she would say in the tenderest and sweetest manner suppose our heavenly father only gave to us because we are worthy what would any of us have I know she once said about miserable thought with whom she shared her scanty food that he is a wretched creature but I wanted to get at his heart and the best way to it was through his stomach I never liked to preach religion to hungry people there is something very beautiful about the charity of the poor they give not as the rich of their abundance but of their limited earnings gifts which when given in a white spirit bring a blessing with them in the chapter 9 Chapter 10 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis C. W. Harper this LibriVox recording is in the public domain Chapter 10 Mary Golf I think said Paul Clifford to Miss Gordon that I found just the person that will suit you and if you accept I will be pleased to see you safe home they'll thank the young grocer and gratefully accepted his company they'll return the next day to see her protege and found her getting along comfortably although she could not help seeing it was sorrow more than disease that was sapping her life and drying up the feeble streams of existence how do you feel this morning said Belle laying her hand tenderly upon her forehead better much better she replied with an attempt at cheerfulness in her voice I'm so glad that mother Graham is here it is like letting the sunshine into these gloomy rooms to have her around it all seems like a dream to me I remember carrying a large bundle of work to the store that my employer spoke harshly to me and talked of cutting down my wages I also remember turning into the street my eyes almost blinded with tears and that I felt the dizziness in my head the next I remember was seeing a lady feeding my children and a gentleman coming in with Auntie Graham yes said Belle fortunately after I had seen you I met with Mr. Clifford who rendered me every necessary assistance his presence was very opportune just then Belle turned her eyes toward the door and saw Mr. Clifford standing on the threshold ah said he's smiling and advancing this time the old adage has failed which says that listeners never hear any good of themselves for without intending to act a part of an eavesdropper I heard myself pleasantly complimented no more than you deserve said Belle smiling and blushing as she gave him her hand in a very frank honor Mrs. Goff is much better this morning and is very grateful to you for your kindness mine said Mr. Clifford if you will call it so was only the result of an accident still I'm very glad if I have been of any service and you are perfectly welcome to make demands upon me that will add to Mrs. Goff's comfort thank you I'm very glad she has found a friend in you it is such a blessed privilege to be able to help others less fortunate than ourselves it certainly is just a moment said Belle as the voice of Mrs. Goff felt faintly on her ear what is it dear said Belle bending down to catch her words who is that gentlemen his face and voice seem familiar it is Mr. Clifford Paul Clifford yes do you know him yes I knew him years ago when I was young and happy but it seems an age since oh isn't it a dreadful thing to be a drunkard's wife yes it is but would you like to speak to Mr. Clifford yes ma'am I would Mr. Clifford said Belle Mrs. Goff would like to speak with you do you not know me said Mary looking anxiously into his face I recognized you as soon as you moved into the neighborhood I'm very glad I fear that I was so changed that my own dear mother would hardly recognize me don't you think she would pity and forgive me if she saw what a mournful wretch I am yes I think she has long forgiven you and longs to take you to her heart as warmly as she ever did and my father I believe he would receive you but I don't think he would be willing to recognize your husband you know he is very set in his ways Mr. Clifford I feel that my days are numbered and that my span of life will soon but while I live I feel it my duty to cling to my demented husband and to do all I can to turn him from the error of his ways but I do so wish that my poor children could have my mother's care when I am gone if I were satisfied on that score I would die content do not talk of dying said Belle taking the pale thin hand in hers you must try and live for your children's sake when you get strong I think I can find you some work among my friends there's Mrs. Roberts she often gives out work and I think I will apply to her Mrs. James Roberts on St. James Street near 16 yes do you know her yes said Mrs. Goff closing her eyes weirdly I know her and I've worked for her I think she is an excellent woman I remember one morning we were talking together on religious experience and about women speaking in class and conference meetings I said I did not think I should like to constantly relate my experience in public there was often such a lack of assurance of faith about me that I shrank from holding up my inner life to inspection and she replied that she would always say that she loved Jesus and I thought oh how I would like to have her experience what rest and peace I would have if I could feel that I was always in harmony with him Miss Bell I hope you will not be offended with me for I'm very ignorant about these matters but there was something about Mrs. Roberts dealings with us poor working people that did seem to me not to be just what I think religion calls for I found her a very hard person to deal with she wanted so much work for so little money but Mrs. Goff the times are very hard and the rich feel it as well as the poor but not so much it curtails them in their luxuries and us and our necessities perhaps I shouldn't mention but after my husband had become a confirmed drunkard and all hope had died out of my heart I hadn't time to sit down and brood helplessly over my misery I had to struggle for my children to possibly keep the wolf from the door and besides food and clothing I wanted to keep my children in a respectable neighborhood and my whole soul rose up in revolt against the idea of bringing them up where their eyes and ears would be constantly smitten by improper sights and sounds while I was worrying over my situation and feeling that my health was failing under the terrible pressure of care for the work Mrs. Roberts brought me work what will you do this for she said displaying one of the articles she wanted made I replied one dollar and 25 cents and I knew the work well worth it I can get it done for one dollar she replied and I'm not willing to give anymore what could I do I was out of work my health was poor and my children clutching at I took it at her price it was very unprofitable but it was better than nothing why that is very strange I know she pays her dress maker handsomely that is because her dress maker is in a situation to dictate her own terms but while she would pay her a large sum for dress making she was screwed and pinched a 5 cent piece from one who had in power to resist her demands I have seen people save 25 or 50 cents in dealing with poor people who would squander 10 times as much on some luxury of the table or wardrobe I often find that meanness and extravagance go hand in hand yes that is true still Mrs. Goff I think people often act like Mrs. Roberts more from want to thought than want of heart it was an old charge brought to Israel like my people doth not consider what is the matter my dear said bell a few mornings after this conversation as she approached the bedside of Mary goff I thought you were getting along so nicely and that with proper care you would be on your feet in a few days but this morning you look so feeble and seem so nervous and depressed do tell me what has happened and what has become of your beautiful hair oh you had such a wealth of tresses I really loved to toy with them was your head so painful that the doctor ordered them to be cut oh no she said burying her face in the pillow and breaking into a paroxysm of tears oh miss bell how can I tell you she replied recovering from her sudden outburst of sorrow why what is it darling I'm at a loss to know what has become of your beautiful hair with gentle woman Lee tag bell saw that the loss of her hair was a subject replete with bitter anguish and turning to the children she took them in her lap and interested and amused them by telling beautiful fairy stories in a short time Mary's composure returned and she said miss bell I can now tell you how I lost my hair last night my husband or the wreck of what was once my husband came home his eyes were wild and bloodshot his face was pale and haggard his gait uneven and his hand trembling I've seen him suffering from mana power to and dreaded lest he should have a returning of it miss's grand had just stepped out and there was no one here but myself and children he held in his hand a pair of tears and approached my bedside I was ready to faint with terror when he exclaimed Mary I must have liquor or I shall go wild he caught my hair in his hand I was too feeble to resist and in a few minutes he had cut every lock from my head and left it just as you see it oh what a pity and what a shame oh miss gordon do you think the men who make our laws ever stopped to consider the misery crime and destruction that flow out of the liquor traffic I've done all I could to induce him to abstain and he has abstained several months at a time and then suddenly like a flash of lightning the temptation returns and all his resolutions are scattered like chaff before the wind I have been blamed for living with him but miss bell were you to see him in his moments of remorse and here is bitter self-reproach and his earnest resolutions to reform you would as soon leave a man to struggle alone in the water as to forsake him in his weakness when everyone else has turned against him and if I can be the means of saving him the joy for his redemption will counterbalance all that I have suffered as a drunkard's wife in chapter 10 chapter 13 of sowing and reaping by Francis E. W. Harper this LibriVox recording is in the public domain chapter 13 John Anderson's saloon the end of these things is death why do you mix that liquor with such care and give it to that child you know he is not going to pay you for it I am making an investment how so why you see that boys parents are very rich and in course of time he will be one of my customers well John Anderson as old a center as I am I wouldn't do such a thing for my right hand what's the harm you are one of my best customers the liquor ever harm you yes it does harm me and when I see young men beginning to drink I feel like crying out young men you are in danger don't put your feet in the terrible flood for 10 to 1 you will be swamped well this is the best joke of the season Tom Carey preaching temperance when do you expect to join the crusade but oh talk is cheap cheap or dear John Anderson I saw you giving liquor to that innocent boy I couldn't help thinking of my poor Charlie he was just such a bright child as that with beautiful brown eyes and a fine forehead that boy had a mind he was always ahead in his studies but once when he was about 12 years old I let him go on a traveling tour with his uncle he was so agreeable that his uncle liked to have him for company but it was a dear trip to my poor Charlie during this journey they stopped at a hotel and my brother gave him a glass of wine better for my dear boy had he given him a glass of strict nine that one glass awakened within him a dreadful craving it raged like a hungry fire I talked to him his mother pled with him for use liquor was his master and when he couldn't get liquor I've known him to break into his pantry to get our burning fluid to assuage his thirst sometimes he would be sober for several weeks at a time and then our hopes would brighten that Charlie would be himself again and then in an hour all our hopes would be dashed to the ground it seemed as if a spell was upon him he married a dear good girl who was as true as steel but all her entreaties for him to give up drinking were like beating the air he drank and drank until he drank himself into the grave by this time two or three loungers had gathered around John Anderson and Thomas Gary and one of them said Mr. Gary you have had sad experience why don't you give up drinking yourself give it up because I can't today I would give one half of my farm if I could pass by this saloon and not feel that I wanted to come in no I feel that I am a slave there was a time when I could have broken my chain but it is too late now and I say young men take warning by me and don't make slaves and fools of yourselves now Tom Gary said John Anderson it is time for you to dry up we have had enough of this foolishness if you can't govern yourself the more is the pity for you just then the news boy came along crying evening mail all about the dreadful murder John Coots and James Lorraine last edition by a paper sir here's your last edition all about the dreadful murder John Coots said several voices all at once why he's been here a half dozen times today I've drank with him said one at that bar twice since noon he had a strange look out of his eyes and I heard him mutter something to himself yes said another I heard him say he was going to kill somebody one or the others got to die what does the paper say love, jealousy and murder the old story said Anderson looking somewhat relieved a woman's at the bottom of it said Tom Carey is at the top of it I wish you would keep a civil tongue in your head said Anderson scowling at Carey oh never mind Tom will have his say he's got a knack of speaking out in meeting and a very disagreeable knack it is oh never mind about Tom read about the murder and tend to Tom some other time eagerly and excitedly they read the dreadful news a woman frail and vicious was at the bottom a woman that neither of those men would have married as a gracious gift was the guilty cause of one murder and when the law would take its course two deaths would lie at her door oh the folly of some men who instead of striving to make home a thing of beauty strengthen grace wander into forbidden pastures and reap for themselves harvests of misery and disgrace because of the lurements of some idle vain and sinful woman who is armed to herself against the peace the purity and the progress of the fireside such women are the dry rot in the social fabric they dig in the dark beneath the foundation stones of the home young men enter their houses and over the mirror of their lives comes the shadow of pollution companionship with them unprepares them for the pure joys of a happy and virtuous home a place which should be the best school for the affections one of the fairest spots on earth and one of the brightest types of heaven such a home as this may exist without wealth luxury or display but it cannot exist without the essential elements of purity love and truth the story was read and then came the various comments oh it was dreadful said one Mr. Lorraine belongs to one of the first families in the town but it will be to them not simply that he has been murdered but murdered where he was in the house of Lizzie Wilson I knew her before she left husband and took to evil courses oh what a pity I expect it will almost kill his wife poor thing I pity her from the bottom of my heart why what's the matter Harry Richard you look as white as a sheet and you are all of a tremor I've just come from the coroner's inquest had to be one of the witnesses who had a heart with Coots why what was the verdict of the jury they brought in a verdict of death by killing at the hands of John Coots were you present at the murder yes how did it happen why you see John had been spending his money very freely on Lizzie Wilson and he took it into his head because Lorraine had made her some costly presence that she had treated him rather coolly and wanted to ship him and so he got dreadfully put out with Lorraine her threats against him but I don't believe he would have done the deed if he had been sober but he's been on a spree for several days and he was half crazy when he did it oh it was heart-rending to see Lorraine's wife when they brought him home a corpse she gave an awful shriek and fell to the floor stiff as a poker and his poor little children it made my heart bleed to look at them and his poor old mother I'm afraid it will be the death of her in a large city with his varied interests he actively chases the other lifeboats are stranded on the shores of time pitiful wrecks of humanity are dashed amid the rocks and reefs of existence old faces disappear and new ones take their places and thus dream of life ever hurries on to empty where death's waters meet at the next sitting of the court John Coots was arraigned tried in convicted of murder in the first degree his lawyer tried to bring in a plea of emotional insanity but failed if insane he was insane through the influence of strong drink it was proven that he had made fierce threats against the life of Lorraine and the liquor in which he had so freely indulged had served to fire his brain and nerve his hand to carry out his wicked intent and so the jury brought in its verdict and he was sentenced to be executed which sentence was duly performed and that closed another act of the sad drama in temperance and sensuality had clasped hands together and beneath their cruel fostering the gallows had borne its dreadful fruit of death the light of one home had been quenched in gloom and guilt a husband had broken over the barriers that God placed around the path of marital love and his son had gone down at midday the son which should have guilted the horizon of life and lent it the final charms had gone down in darkness yes set behind the shadow of a thousand clouds innocent and unoffending childhood was robbed of a father's care and a once happy wife and joyful mother sat down in her widow's weeds with a mantle of gloomier sorrow around her heart and all for what oh who will justify the ways of God to man who will impress upon the mind of youth with its impulsiveness that it is a privilege as well as a duty to present the body to God as a living sacrifice holy and acceptable in his sight that God gives man no law that is not for his best advantage and that the interests of humanity and the laws of purity and self-denial all lie in the same direction and the man who does not take care of his body must fail to take the best care of his soul for the body should be temple for God's holy spirit and the instrument to do his work to defile the one or blunt the other and thus render ourselves unfit for the master's service in the chapter 13 chapter 14 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis C. W. Harper this LibriVox recording is in the public domain chapter 14 Bill Gordon's indignation was thoroughly aroused by hearing Mary Goff's story about the loss of her hair and she made up her mind that when she saw Joe Goff she would give him a very plain talking I would like to see your husband I would just like to tell him what I think about his conduct oh said Mary her pale she growing whiter with apprehension that's his footsteps now Miss Bell don't say anything to him Joseph's good and kind a man as I ever saw when he is sober but sometimes he is really ugly when he has been drinking just then the door was opened and Joe Goff entered or rather all that remained of the once witty talented and handsome Josiah Goff his face was pale and haggard and growing premature by age his wealth of raven hair was unkempt and hung entangled locks over his forehead his hand was unsteady but he was sober enough to comprehend the situation and to feel a deep sense of remorse and shame when he gazed upon the wear he had from once he had bereft its magnificent covering here Mary said he approaching the bed I've brought you a present I only had four since and I thought this would please you I know you women are so fond of Jew jaws and he handed her a pair of sleeve buttons thank you said she as a faint smile illuminated her palate cheek this she said turning to Miss Gordon is my husband Josiah Goff good morning Mr. Goff said bell bowing politely and extending her hand Joe returned the salutation very courteously and very quietly sitting down by the bedside made some remarks about the dampness of the weather Mary lay very quiet looking pitifully a mournful wretch at her side who seemed to regard her and her friend with intense interest it seemed from his countenance that remorse and shame were rousing up his better nature once he rose as if to go stood irresolutely for a moment and then sitting down by the bedside clasped her thin pale hand in his with a caressing motion and said Mary you've had a hard time but I hope there are better days in store for us don't get out of heart and there was a moisture in his eyes in which for a moment beamed a tender loving light bell immediately felt her indignation changing to pity surely she thought within herself this man is worth saving there is still love and tenderness within him notwithstanding all his self-ruin he reminds me of an expression I have picked up somewhere about old oak holding the young fibers in his heart I will appeal to that better nature I will use it as a lever to lift him from the depths into which he has fallen while she was thinking of the best way to approach him and how to reach that heart into whose hidden depths she had so unexpectedly glanced he arose and bending over his wife imprinted upon her lips a kiss in which remorse and shame seemed struggling for expression and left the room and said bell a happy thought has just struck me couldn't we induce Mr. Goff to attend the meeting of the reform club Mr. R. N. speaks tonight and he has been meeting with glorious success as a temperance reformer hundreds of men many of them confirmed drunkards have joined and he is doing a remarkable work he does not wait for the drunkards to come to him he goes to them and wins them by his personal sympathy wonderful the good he has done I do wish he would go I wish so too, said Martha Graham if he should not return while I'm here will you invite him to attend perhaps Mrs. Goff can spare you an hour or two this evening to accompany him that I would gladly do I think it would do me more good than all the medicines you could give me to see my poor husband himself once more before he took to drinking so happy but it seems as if since then I have suffered sorrow by the spoonful oh the misery that this drink causes I do hope these reform clubs will be the means of shutting up every saloon in the place for just as long as one of them is open he is in danger yes said Bell what we need is not simply to stop the men from drinking but to keep the temptation out of their way Joe said Mary belongs to a good family he has a first rate education is a fine penman and a good bookkeeper but this dreadful drink has thrown him out of some of the best situations in the town where we were living oh what a pity I heard Mr. Clifford say that his business was increasing so that he wanted a good clerk and salesman to help him that he was overworked and crippled for want of sufficient help maybe if your husband would sign the pledge Mr. Clifford would give him a trial but it is growing late and I must go I would have liked to have seen your husband before I left and have given him a personal invitation but you and Mother Graham can invite him for me so goodbye keep up a good heart you know where to cast your burden just as Miss Gordon reached the landing she saw Joe Goff standing at the outer door and laying her hand gently upon his shoulder exclaimed oh Mr. Goff I am so glad to see you again to attend a temperance meeting tonight at Amory Hall will you go well I don't like to promise he replied looking down upon his seedy coat and dilapidated shoes never mind your wardrobes said Miss Gordon dividing his thoughts the soul is more than raiment the world has room for another man and I want you to fill the place well said he I'll come very well I expect to be there and we'll look for you come early and bring Mother Graham to you this evening I think your wife is suffering more from exhaustion and debility than anything else yes poor Mary has had a hard time but it shan't be always so as soon as I get work I mean to take her out of this said he looking disdainfully at the wretched tenement house with his broken shutters and look of general decay why Mother Graham is the meeting over you must have had a fine time you just look delighted did Joe go in with you and where is he now yes he went with me listen to the speeches and join the club I saw him do it with my own eyes oh we had a glorious time oh I'm so glad said Mary her eyes filling with sudden tears I do hope he will keep his pledge I hope so too and I hope he will get something to do Mr. Clifford was there when he signed and Miss Bell was saying today that he wanted a clerk that would be a first rate place for Joe if he will only keep his pledge Mr. Clifford I am an active temperance man and I believe would help to keep Joe straight I hope he'll get the place but Mother Graham tell me all about the meeting you don't know how happy I am don't I dearly have I been through it all but it seems as if I had passed through suffering into peace but never mind Mother Graham's past troubles let me tell you about the meeting at these meetings quite a number of people speak just as we went in one of the speakers was telling his experience and what a terrible feeling the power of appetite now when he felt the fearful craving coming over him he would walk the carpet till he had actually worn it thread bear but that he had been converted and found grace to help him in time of need and how he had gone out and tried to reform others and had seen the work prosper in his hand I watched Joe's face it seemed lit up with earnestness and hope as if that man had brought him a message of deliverance then after the meeting came the signing of the pledge and joining the reform club and you good to see the men that joined do you remember Thomas Almondson yes poor fellow and I think if any man ever inherited drunkenness he did for his father and his mother were drunkards before him well he joined and they have made him president of the club well did I ever do I tell me all about Joe when the speaking was over Joe sat still and thoughtful as if making up his mind the Miss Gordon came to him and asked him to join he stopped a minute to button his coat and went straight up and had his name put down but oh how the people did clap and shout well as Joe was one of the last to sign the red ribbons they used for badges was all gone and Joe looked so sorry he said he wanted to take a piece of ribbon home to let his wife know that he belonged to the reform club Miss Gordon heard him and she had a piece of black lace and red ribbon twisted together around her throat and she separated the lace from the ribbon and tied it in his buttonhole so as Mary would see it oh Miss Bell did look so sweet and Mr. Clifford never took his eyes off her I think he admires her very much I don't see how he can help it she is one of the dearest sweetest ladies I ever saw she never seemed to say by her actions I'm doing so much for you poor people and you can't be too thankful not she and between you and me and that gay post I think that will be a match I think it would make a splendid one but how should I hear some persons coming the door opened and Paul Clifford Joe golf and Bill Gordon entered here Mrs. golf said Paul Clifford as we children used to say here's your husband safe and sound and I will add a member of our reform club and we have come to congratulate you upon the event my dear friends I'm very thankful to you for your great kindness I don't think I shall ever be able to repay you don't be an easy darling said Belle we are getting our pay as we go along we don't think the cause of humanity owes us anything yes said Joe seating himself by the bedside with an air of intense gratification here is my badge I did not want to leave the meeting without having this to show you this evening some Mrs. golf smiling through her tears reminds me of a little temperance song I learned when a child I think it commenced with these words and are you sure the news is true are you sure my John has joined I can't believe the happy news and leave my fears behind if John has joined and drinks no more the happiest wife and I that ever swept a cabin floor or sung a lullaby that's just the way I feel tonight I haven't been so happy before for years and I hope said Mr. Clifford that you will have many happy days and nights in the future and I hope so too said Joe shaking hands with Paul and Belle as they rose to go Mr. Clifford accompanied Belle to her door and as they parted she said this is a glorious work in which it is our privilege to class pounds it is and I hope but as the words rose to his lips he looked into the face of Belle and it was so radiant with intelligent tenderness and joy that she seemed to him almost like a glorified saint of being too precious high and good for common household uses and so the remainder of the sentence tied upon his lips and he held his peace End of Chapter 14 Chapter 15 of Sewing and Reaping by Francis C. W. Harper this LibriVox recording is in the public domain Chapter 15 I've resolved to dissolve partnership with Charles said Augustine Romaine to his wife the next morning after his son's return from the champagne supper at John Anderson's Oh no you are not in earnest are you you seem suddenly to have lost all patience with Charlie yes I have and I have made up my mind that I'm not going to let him hang like a millstone on our business know if he will go down I'm determined he shall not drag me down with him see what a hurt it would be to us to have it said don't trust your case with the Romaine's for the junior member of that firm is a confirmed drunkard well Augustine you ought to know best but it seems like casting him off to dissolve partnership with him I can't help it if he persists and his downward course he must take the consequences Charles has had every advantage when other young lawyers have had to battle year after year with obscurity and poverty he entered into a business that was already established and flourishing what other men were struggling for he found ready made to his hand and if he chooses to throw away every advantage and make a complete wreck of himself I can't help it but it does seem so dreadful of my poor boy now mother I want you to look at this thing in the light of reason and common sense I'm not turning Charles out of the house he is not poor though the way he is going on he will be you know his grandfather has left him a larger state out west which is constantly increasing in value and what I mean to do is to give Charles a chance to set up for himself as attorney wherever he pleases throwing him on his own resources with a sense of responsibility may be the best thing for him but in the present state of things I do not think it advisable to continue our business relations together for more than 25 years our firm has stood foremost at the bar ever since my brother and I commenced business together our reputation has been unspotted and I mean to keep it so if I have to cut off my right hand Mrs Romaine gazed upon a stern sad face of her husband and felt by the determination of his manner that it was useless to entreat or reason with him to change his purpose and so with a heavy heart and eyes drooping with unscheduled tears she left the room John said Mr Romaine to the waiter tell Charles I wish to see him before I go down to the office just then Charles enter the room and bade good morning to his father good morning replied his father rather coldly and for a moment there was an awkward silence Charles said Mr Romaine after having witnessed the scene of last night I have come to the conclusion to dissolve the partnership between us just as you please said Charles in a tone of cold indifference that irritated his father but he maintained his self control I am sorry that you will persist in your downward course but if you are determined to throw yourself away I've made up my mind to cut loose from you I noticed last week when you were getting out the briefs in that Sumter case you were not yourself and several times lately you have made me hang my head in the courtroom I'm sorry very sorry and a touch of deep emotion gave a tone of tenderness to the closing sentence there was a slight huskiness in Charles voice as he replied whenever the articles of this solution are made out I am ready to sign they will be ready by tomorrow all right I will sign them I have set up for myself the world is wide enough for us both after Mr. Romain had left the room Charles set, burying his head in his hands and indulging bitter thoughts toward his father today he said to himself he resolved to cut loose from me apparently forgetting that he was from his hands and at his table I received my first glass of wine he prides himself on his power of self control and after all what does it amount to it simply means this constitution and can drink five times as much as I can without showing its effects and today if Mr. R. N. would ask him to sign the total abstinence pledge he wouldn't hear to it yes I'm ready to sign any articles he will bring even if it is to sign never to enter this house or see his face by my mother poor mother I'm sorry for her sake just then his mother entered the room my son mother just what I feared has come to pass more than anything else this collision with your father now mother don't be so serious about this matter father's law office does not take him the whole world I shall either set up for myself an AP or go west oh don't talk of going away I think I should die of anxiety if you were away well as I passed down the street yesterday I saw there was an office to let in Frazier's new block and I think I will engage it and put out my sign however that suits you or anywhere Charlie so you are near me and Charlie don't be to start with your father he was very much out of temper when you came home last night but be calm it will blow over in a few days don't add fuel to the fire and you know that you and Miss Roland are to be married in two weeks and I do wish that things might remain as they are at least till after the wedding separation just now might give rise to some very unpleasant talk and I would rather if you and your father can put off this the solution that you will consent to let things remain as they are for a few weeks longer when your father comes home I will put the case to him and have the thing delayed just now Charles I dread this consequences of a separation well mother just as you please perhaps the publication of the articles of dissolution in the paper might complicate matters when Mr. Romain to return home his wrath was somewhat modified and Mrs. Romain having taken care to prepare his favorite dishes for dinner took the opportunity when he had dined him to delay the intended separation till after the wedding to which he very graciously consented again there was a merry gathering at the home of Jeanette Roland it was her wedding night and she was about to class pans for life with Charles Romain true to her idea of taking things as she found them she had consented to be his wife without demanding out him any reformation from the habit which was growing so fearfully upon him his wealth and position in society like charity covered a multitude of sins at times Jeanette felt misgivings about the stuff she was about to take but she put back the thoughts like unwelcome intruders and like the ostrich hiding her head in the sand instead of avoiding the danger she shut her eyes to its fearful reality that night the wine flowed out like a purple flood but the men and women who drank were people of culture wealth and position and did not seem to think it was just as disgraceful or more so to drink in excess in magnificently furnished parlors as it was in low bar rooms or miserable dance where vice and poverty are huddled together and if the weary children of hunger and hard toil instead of seeking sleep as nature's sweet restorer sought to stimulate their flagging energies in the enticing cup they with the advantages of wealth culture and refinement could not plead the excuses of extreme wretchedness or hard and unremitting grudgery how beautiful very beautiful felt like a pleasant ripple upon the ear of Jeanette Rowland as she approached the altar beneath her wreath of orange blossoms while her bridal veil floated like a cloud of lovely mist from her fair young head the vows were spoken, the bridal ring placed upon her finger and amid her train of congratulating friends she returned home where a sudden shewess fees awaited them. Don't talk so loud but I think Bill Gordon active wisely when she refused Mr. Romain said Mrs. Gladstone one of the guests Do you indeed, wife Charles Romain is the only son of Mr. Romain and besides being the heir he has lately received a large legacy from his grandfather's estate I think Jeanette has made a splendid match I hope my girls will do as well I hope on the other hand that my girls will never marry unless they do better why how you talk what's the matter with Mr. Romain look at him now said Mrs. Fallon joining in the conversation this is his wedding night and yet you can plainly see he is under the influence of wine look at those eyes don't you know how beautiful and clear they are when he is sober and how very interesting he is in conversation now look at him see how muddled his eye is but he is approaching listen to his utterance don't you notice how thick it is now if on his wedding night he cannot abstain I have very grave fears for Jeanette's future perhaps you are both right but I never looked at things in that light before and I know that a magnificent fortune can melt like snow in the hands of a drunken man I wish you much joy rang out I have so many different voices as Jeanette approached him oh Jeanette you just look splendid and Mr. Romain oh he is so handsome oh Jeanette what's to hinder you from being so happy but where is Mr. Romain we have missed him for some time I don't know let me seek my husband isn't that a mouthful said Jeanette laughing disengaging herself from the merry group as an undefined sense of apprehension swept over her was it a presentiment of coming danger and lonely fear that seemed for a moment to turn life's sweetness into bitterness and gall. In the midst of a noisy group in that dining room, she found Charles drinking the wine, as it gave its color a right in the cup. She saw the deep flush upon his cheek and the cloudiness of his eye, and for the first time upon that brighter night she felt a shiver of fear as the veil was suddenly lifted before her unwilling eye, and half reluctantly she said to herself, suppose after all my cousin Belle was right. CHAPTER XVI Good morning, Mr. Clifford, said Joe Goff, entering the store of Paul Clifford, the next day after he joined the Reform Club, I've heard that you wanted someone to help you, and I'm ready to do anything to make an honest living. I'm very sorry, said Paul, but I have just engaged a young man belonging to our club to come this morning. Joe looked sad but not discouraged and said, Mr. Clifford, I want to turn over a new leaf in my life, but everyone does not know that. Do you know of any situation I can get? I've been a bookkeeper and a salesman in the town of Sea where I once lived, but I am willing to begin almost anywhere on the ladder of life and make it a stepping stone to something better. There was a tone of earnestness in his voice and an air of determination in his manner that favorably impressed Paul Clifford, and he replied, I was thinking of a friend of mine who wants a helping hand, but it may not be after all the kind of work you prefer. He wants a porter, but as you say, you want to make your position a stepping stone to something better if you make up your mind to do your level best. The way may open before you in some more congenial and unexpected quarter. Wait a few minutes and I will give you a line to him. No, I can do better than that. He is a member of our club, and I will see him myself, but before you do, had we better not go to the barbers. I would like to, said Joe, but I haven't. Haven't the money? Yes, Mr. Clifford, that's the fact I'm not able to pay even for a shave.  Oh, well, never mind, let the dead pass, Barry. It's dead. The future is before you. Try and redeem that. If you accept it, I will lend you a few dollars. I believe in lending a helping hand, so come with me to the barbers, and I'll make it all right. You can pay me when you are able, but here we are at the door. Let us go in." They entered in a few moments. Joe's face was under the manipulating care of the barber. Fixed his so, said Joe to the barber, giving him directions how to cut his mustache. All was somewhat amused, and yet, in that simple act, he saw a return of self-respect and was glad to see his slightest manifestations, and it was pleasant to witness the satisfaction with which Joe beheld himself in the glass as he exclaimed, why, Mary would hardly know me. Suppose now we go to the tailors and get some new rigging. Mr. Clifford said, Joe, hesitatingly, you are very kind, but I don't know when I shall be able to pay you, and oh, never mind. When you are able, I will send my bill. It will help you in looking for a place to go decently dressed. So let us go into the store and get our new suit. They entered a clothing store, and in a few moments Joe was dressed in our new suit, which made him look almost like another person. Now, we are ready, said Paul. Appearances are not so much against you. Good morning, Mr. Tennant, said Paul to the proprietor of a large store. I heard last night that you wanted help in your store, and I brought you, Mr. Galt, who is willing to take any situation you will give him, and I will add he is a member of our reform club. Mr. Tennant looked thoughtfully for a moment and replied, I have only one vacancy, and I do not think it would suit your friend. My porter died yesterday, and that is the only situation which I can offer him at present. I will accept it, said Joe, if you will give it to me. I am willing to do anything to make an honest living for my family, where you can come to Mara or stop now and begin. All right, said Joe, with a promptness that pleased his employer, and Joe was installed in the first day's regular work he had had for months.  I feel just like I look, Mrs. Gordon, Joe has grown so steady, he gets constant work, and he is providing so well for us all, and he won't hear to me taking again that slopped shop work. He says all he wants me to do is to get well, and take care of the home and children. But you look rather pale. Have you been sick? Yes, I've been rather unwell for several weeks, and the doctor has ordered, among other things, that I should have a plentiful supply, a fresh air, so tomorrow as there is to be a free excursion, and I'm on the committee, I think, if nothing prevents, I shall go. Perhaps you would like to go. Yes, if Joe will consent, but what? Well Joe has pretty high notions, and I think he may object, because it is receiving charity, I can't blame him for it, but Joe has a right smart of pride that way. No, I don't blame him, I rather admire his spirit of self-liance, and I wouldn't lay the weight of my smallest finger upon his self-respect to repress it. Still I would like to see your Mammy and Hattie have a chance to get out into the woods, and have what I call a good time. I think I can have it so arranged, that you can go with me and serve as one of the committee on refreshments, and your services would be an ample compensation for your entertainment. Well if you put it in that light I think Joe would be willing for me to go. I will leave them out of there, and when your husband comes home you can consult him and send me word. And so you are getting along nicely. Oh yes indeed, splendidly. Just look here, this is Joe's present, and Mary held up with both hands a beautifully embossed and illustrated Bible. This was my birthday present. Oh Miss Bell, Joe seems to me like another man. Last night we went to a conference and prayer meeting, and Joe spoke. Did you know he had joined the church? No. When did that happen? Last week. Has he become religious? Well I think Joe's trying to do the best he can. He said last night, in meeting, that he felt like a new man, and if they didn't believe he had religion to ask his wife. And suppose they had asked you, what would you have said? I would have said I believe Joe's a changed man, and I hope he will hold out faithful. And Miss Bell, I want to be a Christian, but there are some things about religion I can't understand. People often used to talk to me about getting religion and getting ready to die. Religion somehow got associated in my mind with sorrow and death. But it seems to me, since I've known you and Mr. Clifford, the thing looks different. I got it associated with something else besides the Paul, the hearse, and weeping mourners. You have made me feel that it is as beautiful and valuable for life as it is necessary for death. And yet there are some things I can't understand. Miss Bell, will you be shocked if I tell you something which has often puzzled me? I don't know. I hope you have nothing very shocking to tell me. Well perhaps it is, and maybe I better not say it. But you've raised my curiosity, and woman like I want to hear it.  Yes, I do. And to doubt it would be to unmoor my soul from love, from peace and rest. It seems to me to believe that must be the first resting place for my soul, and I feel that with me. To doubt would be disloyalty, to falter would be sin. But my dear, I've been puzzled just as you have, and can say, I've wandered in mazes dark and distressing. I've had not a cheering ray, my spirit to bless. Fearless unbelief held my laboring soul in grief. And what then? I then turned to the Gospel that taught me to pray and trust in the living Word from folly away. And it was here my spirit found a resting place, and I feel that in believing I have entered into rest. Ah, said Mary to herself when Belle was gone, there is something so restful, and yet inspiring in her words. I wish I had her faith. End of chapter 16.