Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this live stream for you today. Our topic, the Four Ways a Man Deeply Bonds with a Woman. And without these four things, it ain't gonna happen. So you're gonna wanna pay attention. Really quickly, if you're brand new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, I please ask you to hit that like button so this gets seen in the YouTube algorithms. Lastly, this is your explicit language warning. I do occasionally drop F-bonds and I use expletives to enhance a sentence. And if that is not your cup of tea, I highly recommend logging off right now. All right, let's get started in those four ways a man deeply bonds with a woman and without it, it just ain't gonna happen. So I've observed that basically, and it took me practically half my life, not half my lifetime, but it feels like half a lifetime to come to this awareness that we've all been raised with an illusion of how relationships work and how successful relationships work. And let me just explain where I'm coming from because this illusion is mostly that chemistry equals relationship success. So basically when two people meet and there's strong chemistry for one another, that's all that's needed for a relationship to succeed. This is what we've been indoctrinated in. This is what Disney movies are all about. These are what every single movie is all about is that when there's strong chemistry that must mean love at first sight and everything will just magically work out because magic fairy dust always works out. What I've come to realize is that is the biggest fantasy we've ever been sold and there is a lot more to a successful relationship than chemistry. Now, if you've been following my work, you know to talk about the four fundamentals to a successful relationship, the four fundamentals. And this isn't how a man, this is how a man bonds but we're gonna go deeper into it. But the four fundamentals for a successful relationship is first, we have chemistry, of course. Second is shared values. Third is blendable lifestyles and fourth is emotional maturity. So if you've seen my analogy before, I want everybody to think of an iceberg and here's a picture of an iceberg if you can see this. And at the top, the first words it says, the top line says attraction. This is what we see first. So when the Titanic was coming to this iceberg, they see attraction first. And what you can't see right there is written as chemistry. Now, below the iceberg, and you can see how big an iceberg actually is, is this is where compatibility comes in. And you can see it says shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity, right? So there's a lot more to a relationship than that attraction piece. And attraction is the first thing we physically see. However, most relationships fail is because people don't share the same values. They don't have lifestyles that can actually fit with one another. And more importantly, human beings, most human beings lack the emotional maturity to be in a healthy, happy relationship. Let me repeat that most human beings lack the emotional maturity to be in a healthy, happy relationship. And ladies who are listening to this because my audience is mostly women, let me just tell you that for every man who's emotionally immature, there's a woman who's emotionally immature as well. Or it could simply be emotionally weak skills, okay? So if there's a man with emotional weak skills, there's just as many women with weak emotional skills, lacking emotional maturity or haven't really honed their emotional maturity. And I have to repeat this over and over again because women tend to throw men under the bus in this area as if women are just better at the emotional side of a relationship. No, women are better at vomiting their emotions but it doesn't necessarily mean emotional maturity. It doesn't necessarily mean that you have the skillset to properly express your emotions. And I say this because if you haven't seen the TV show or the show couples therapy that's on show time and you can see actual couple therapy sessions, you can see that the women in these couples therapy session are just as bad at communicating their feelings as men, okay? So I just wanna set the stage that ladies oftentimes throw men under the bus. And let me just say that men throw women under the bus for a variety of other reasons. So now I wanna lean into, we're gonna lean in because here in understand men now in Jonathan Asley's universe, we do not lean back, we lean into what's really important and understanding these four ways a man bonds with a woman will help you gain clarity of not just who to choose in relationship but who to invest your time in relationship. I'm gonna repeat that, who to actually invest your time in relationship. And ladies, if you follow my work, I know many of you believe that men are the leaders of the relationship and they're just gonna claim you and they're all gonna be chivalrous and I'm here to say, if men were so good at this then why are people frustrated or why are women in particular frustrated with the dating process? Ladies, you are in charge of your relationship destiny, never give that to a man. Your relationship success depends upon you and not the man, okay? You might be dependent upon someone from a financial perspective or some other things. Your emotional health and wellbeing is based on you and not men, okay? But this is a channel called Understand Men Now because ladies, the way I seem to get to you is talk about men, what I'm really helping you do is gain your own sovereignty, your self-worth, your self-esteem, your self-confidence. Actually, if you follow my channel you know I talk about self-love all the time and this is my book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway, check out the link below. It's a book about personal development, self-help and spiritual work to get into your sovereignty so you don't have to always be focused on what the man's doing and you can focus more on what matters to you most. But since we're talking about the four ways men deeply bond with a woman, let's just jump in. I've been stalling a little bit. Okay, number one, let's just face it. It starts with physicality. It starts with physical and sexual. Men are visual creatures, everybody knows this. For men, they have to physically be connected with a woman. They have to be physically attracted to a woman to get the equipment up. We have to get the equipment up. So, and for some men the equipment goes like this or maybe the equipment goes up and then it goes like this but ultimately we men physically need to be attracted to get our equipment up. That's the first stage of us bonding. It's physical and it's sexual. That's where it starts for men. Ladies, you've all heard that men are the hunters in a relationship, men love the chase. But what do you think they're hunting and chasing? Are they hunting? I wanna be in a relationship. I wanna be in a relationship. I wanna be in a relationship. Is that what they're hunting? Are they hunting sucks? Hunting physicality, that's what men hunt.  You've gotta understand this. The hunt is basically to satisfy our physical needs. That's what the hunt is all about. So, knowing that men hunt this, okay, knowing that men hunt this, how does that benefit you? Because a lot of you make up these stories that men are supposed to be the hunters. They're supposed to chase you. Just remember, what are they hunting and what are they chasing? Because it's not about supposed to. It's understanding why they do it, okay? And then you can understand who to make an investment in. Because what I'm gonna share these next three things are going to, my hope is not necessarily blow your mind but help you gain clarity to understand that without these four things, your relationship is most likely going to end. Without these four things, your relationship is gonna end. And number two is, and by the way, I've got my trusty notes. So, number two is, so we just talked about physically, which physically and sexually are kind of the same thing. Number two is emotionally. Is he emotionally connected to you? In other words, do you share the same values? Are you developing a friendship? And here's where a lot of human beings get tripped up on this emotional piece. Is because if the vast majority of human beings are, have weak emotional skills, in other words, emotional skills, and what I mean is being able to communicate your emotions in an effective way, being able to communicate yourself in effective way. Can you be vulnerable? Can you be authentic? Can you be transparent? Okay? This is where most relationships get tripped up, because the vast majority of human beings, men and women alike, have weak emotional maturity and weak skills at communicating. This is why I highly recommend reading the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Now, by the way, folks, this should have been called Compassionate Communication. That's what it should have been called. It's teaching how to communicate at a much healthier level than most of us were trained or educated as children. Let me repeat that. Most of us haven't been educated or trained on how to effectively communicate our emotions. And this is why most relationships barely get past this stage of emotionality, if you will, because I said physically and emotionally. And again, one of the things I see so missing in the dating process is two people actually becoming friends with one another. When I think of communication, I think of my best friends. My best friends are the people I feel safe to communicate with. My best friends are the ones that I feel open to communicate, to be vulnerable, to be authentic, to be transparent. That's what it's like when you're in healthy communication in a relationship. It should feel like you're talking with your best friend. And yet sadly, so many people don't develop the friendship. They're not doing social activities. They're not doing hobbies. They're not doing mutual interests. They're not spending time with family and friends to build the deep roots of trust that help two people develop that friendship piece. And it blows me away because I have women reach out to me after the ending of a relationship and they're all strung out on a guide because they've had this. But Jonathan, we had this intense chemistry. I've never felt like this before. And I asked the question, are you two really good friends with one another? Did you feel safe to communicate your feelings in a vulnerable, authentic, transparent way with the person? And they say, no, I never felt safe to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent. Well, ladies, if you don't feel safe enough to be vulnerable, authentic and transparent, then they are not your friend because that's what friendship is all about. And this is where most relationships get stuck, is building the deep friendship with one another. And ladies, most men don't have a clue about what I'm sharing, okay? Most men don't have a clue. By the way, I'm hopeful that men are watching this because guys, if you're watching this, building the friendship is a critical piece in developing the deep bond that takes you to the next level of a relationship.  So we talked about physically, sexually, they're one and the same. Emotionally and then functionally, functionally, functionally, functionally. I'm repeating myself and someone complained about how I repeat myself. What I mean by functionally is can these two people blend their lives together? Can these two people blend their lives together? And here's where a lot of men get tripped up in relationship, especially men at midlife and those who follow my work, midlife is after baby making years and before retirement. So the vast majority of people who are single looking for love in midlife are divorced. And because of divorce, a significant number of men have abandoned their desire to be a provider protector for a woman. Let me repeat that they've abandoned their desire. I'm saying their cognitive desire to be a provider protector for a woman. We biologically are instinctually a provider protector but many people have gone through a nasty divorce, a contentious and if they still have a contentious relationship with their ex, they are less likely to want to be a provider in a relationship. And here's the thing, ultimately if two people want to connect with one another and go the distance and what I mean to say, either live together or get married, then you have to want to be a provider. Now it doesn't necessarily mean pay for someone's bills but at least have that desire. This is why in many cases the more successful relationships are when two autonomous people come together and what I mean by autonomous is that they can take care of themselves financially and that doesn't feel that this is a burden to take on someone's financial responsibility. And by the way, make no mistake, by the way, divorces cite money as the number one cause for divorce. So don't be naive to think that money isn't a critical part of this equation. And this whole thing, well, John, Jonathan, you know, men are just natural protectors and providers. We just naturally want to do that. Yeah, maybe in the first 20 years of our life we may want to do that, but let me tell you something when you have enough life experience, enough trauma, enough hurt and pain over this, most men, I'm not saying all men but most men when they hit 40, 50 or 60, just like when I hear women say, I don't want to be a nurse or I don't want to be a purse. Well, let me just say the same thing. Men don't want to be your doctor and men don't want to be your banker, okay? And if you can't get past this functionality piece where two people can actually blend lives together it's going to be difficult to be, this is what a strong bond looks like. You can't tear it apart, you can't tear it apart. And then the fourth piece, and this is critically important is to be connected at a spiritual level, at a spiritual level. Do you know commitment actually means a shared common cause, a shared common cause, a common purpose. And the reason why I chose spirituality in my explanation today is when two people actually have reached this level of saying we have a common cause together, what is our common cause together? By the way, in the book, in Catherine Woodward's Thomas's book, Calling in the One, she talks about the importance of having a common purpose in relationship, otherwise the relationship isn't going to have one of the most foundational roots that bond two people together. So I highly recommend reading the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. By the way, everybody, there's a link below to all my recommended books, my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway, my podcast, The What Would Love Do podcast. Certainly, talk to, if you're interested in getting help and support, if you're a single woman wanting to learn how to ask the right questions when dating a guy, check out the link to a free discovery call, but that's my area of expertise. So ladies, you need to understand that for both men and women alike, we need these four deep roots, these four things to actually bond with one another. And yet sadly, we barely get past number one, sexually, physically, that's where most people, I would say 97% of relationships, that's where they start, that's where they put all their attention and they barely ever get to emotionally, functionally, or spiritually. Either way, I said 97%, let me make it a little bit easier. Let's just go with 90%. This is why a lot of relationships never go the distance. And if you don't understand this, this is gonna make it deeply hard to actually bond with another human being. And folks, if you don't understand the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship, then I highly recommend reading this book, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, Eight Dates by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. This book will help you understand the mechanics to build the roots of deep trust that take the relationship to the next level. And again, if these four things aren't happening, I highly doubt your relationship is going to reach that deeper level of bonding until you recognize that it's gonna require not just the physical and sexual, the emotional, the functional, and the spiritual side to actually go the distance. And that's my invitation for you. And I'm gonna introduce one more book and I highly recommend reading the book, Gary Zukoff's book, Spiritual Partnership, Spiritual Partnership, because that's gonna take your relationship to the whole next level. All right, folks, I've covered a lot here today. We're about to start our Q and A in a section. I hope you found value in what I shared so far. If you have, please post a comment below, hit that thumbs up. I'd really appreciate it, share this with friends if you're listening to the recording. And we're gonna jump into Q and A in just a second. Now, before I do, I wanna address a few things. I've had a few people say to me, Jonathan, you have a habit of repeating yourself and you have a habit of repeating the same things over and over in every video. And I wanted to address that, because yes, sometimes I repeat myself. I want to emphasize a point and I might stress it with repetitiveness, okay? And oftentimes if you watch my live stream, I'm sharing the same books over and over and over again. Now, here's the thing. Sometimes there's brand new people watching, so it's brand new to them. And many of you are repeat people. I get it. Here's the thing, folks. And I wanna give you the, I want you to understand this because this is so critically important for those critics out there that complain. I want you to think of a professional golfer for a moment. They want to get really good at what they're going to do. They go to the driving range and they hit balls over and over and over and over and over and over again. That's one way to start getting good at something. Or if you wanna learn how to play the piano, you learn your scales over and over and over and over and over and over and over because practice makes perfect. Practice makes perfect. And you need to understand that personal development, self-help and spiritual work is a daily practice. It's a daily practice.  I'm gonna repeat that.   Because if it doesn't sink in, folks, let me tell you the number one emotional health issue facing almost everybody is I'm not good enough. I'm not lovable and I'm not likeable. This is most everybody feels this way. And if you wanna shift that narrative, then I invite you to do a deep dive into personal development, self-help and spiritual work so you can start to feel good from the inside out because here's the thing, folks. Many of you are hoping or following this pattern of a relationship. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself. Folks, when you can feel good about yourself, you'll attract a partner who also wants to share how they feel good about themselves with you. And it's not about finding a mate. It's about finding the mate within you. That's my invitation for everybody. If you wanna be empowered in your life and it's not feminine or masculine energy, it's individual empowerment. I invite you to study what I share and pass this on to others because how we also learn is when we teach this to other people. So my invitation is share this video, share what you learn, share the knowledge because that's how it sinks into a deeper root for yourself and for everyone else. All right, time to take questions. If you have a question, write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker and super chat. All the funds from super stickers, super chats goes to a scholarship fund I'm creating in the name of my son Connor. My son Connor who passed away. Those who know me know my son Connor passed away. The foundation or the, excuse me, the scholarship fund is to provide resources so people can do personal development work. All right, so let's jump into these questions. I saw one up above earlier, so bear with me. I'm gonna go to Nicole's question and I'll scroll back down. Question, I've been widowed for over a year now and don't get out as much especially after I retired a few years ago. Any suggestions where to meet someone or does it happen by chance? Thanks, great question. All right, so here's the reality in life. When you're in your 40s, 50s or 60s we are not surrounded by single eligible people. I'm gonna repeat that. When we're in our 40s, 50s, 60s or 70s we're not actually surrounded in our daily lives by single eligible people. Unlike when my son Colin went to college he was surrounded by nothing but single eligible people and now he's back here after college and he struggles to meet people because even a 20-year-old is not being surrounded by single eligible people.  I mean, yes, it's the exception, it's not the rule. This is one of the reasons why online dating has become the number one portal for people to meet one another. Let me repeat, that's the number one portal for people to meet one another and roughly about 50% of all new relationships for people over 45 years old is happening through an online connection and I suspect within the next 10 years that's gonna be closer to 70, 80 and if not 90%. Most people are gonna meet at our age in a virtual setting on some level, whether it's through social media, through a dating app, through even some of those virtual matchmaking services, it's going to happen through a virtual connection. That's where most people are meeting.  Let me just tell folks something, I want you to go back in time before the internet about 50 years ago, give or take and beyond 50 years ago.  The likelihood of actually getting a mate after 40 years old, 50 and 100 plus years ago and I'm talking about 40, 50, 60s and 70 year old women was almost virtually non-existent. Does anyone remember the movie, sleepless in Seattle, sleepless in Seattle? There is a famous line in there that Rita Wilson says to Tom Hanks. She says, I have a greater chance to be killed by a terrorist than falling in love after 40. And that was a true, this was just at the beginning of online dating, okay? But that was a relatively true statement. Now, because of online dating, more women in their 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s are meeting men than ever before. It has changed. So let's stop looking at online dating as a negative and start recognizing it as an opportunity. Now, it's a clusterfuck out there. I will not deny that whatsoever. Online dating is a clusterfuck like nobody's business because we have absolutely immature people, men and women alike, putting a terrible job putting themselves out there. I'm gonna repeat that. They do a terrible jobs of putting themselves out there. This is why the women, like women who work with me that put together a quality profile that learn how to communicate better, that learn how to ask better questions are getting greater results. I'm getting calls each week from clients who did my six week boot camp going, Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy. Jonathan, I met a great guy and they know the difference and most of these women are meeting men through an online connection. So my invitation for you is to recognize that while, yeah, the occasional meetup group happens once in a million people and the coffee shop happens once in a million times and the grocery store happens once in a million times, your greatest chance for success is putting yourself out there to be seen by single eligible people.  Nicole, great question. Thank you so much. Granny says, Jonathan, I bought your book and I'm enjoying your videos. Thank you so much, Granny Sugar. I appreciate that. All right, let's keep going. We got lots of people here today. Please hit that like button so more people get to see this and please share this if you can. Paula says, great recommendations. I download on Audible. Yes, Shelly says, I don't mind at all that you repeat yourself. It reinforces exactly. All right, Sadie, here we go. Question. Jonathan, now I'm getting older and I'm struggling to find a reason to be in a relationship. If we can't have kids, what's the glue that will keep us together? Great question, Sadie. So what's your common cause? You know, I struggle with this question myself and I think for me it's, and I'm gonna use me as an example, Sadie, so maybe you can piggyback off of this, is I'm hoping that I meet a partner where we can shoot videos together and I can talk about, you know, how we met, how we can help people. I mean, I hope to meet a woman that we have this common bond together. I'm hoping that she's fascinated with human behavior as I am. I'm hoping that she's fascinated with personal development the way I am. I hope she wants to do spiritual journeys with me, like plant-based medicine journeys and doing ayahuasca and maybe going to Peru or something like that. So I'm sharing, you have to find what your common cause is. For some people it might be that they play tennis together. For some people it might be they play golf together. For some people it might be that they have charity together. They have a charitable foundation for them. That's important to them. It's important to know what's important to know is what's important to you and find someone who also shares in that importance. Because the reality is, I gotta tell you, there are gonna be a lot of couples who are not aligned together, who have children right now. And the minute their children leave the house and they become empty nesters, they're gonna find that they have nothing in common together because they hyper-focused on the children and not where they actually have a common bond together. So we're gonna see even more divorces happen because of this. If you can't find your common cause, your common purpose, your common bond, it's gonna make it after children, it's gonna make it very difficult to develop the roots for a long-term loving relationship. Sadie, thank you so much. That was a great question to ask. I really appreciate it. Okay, Saul, I hope I pronounced it right. Ball Saul, question. My boyfriend will meet my seven-year-old kid for the first time. I'm really excited and ready for the next step. I'm also nervous about it for no good reason. What do you recommend to calm my nerves? Here's what I recommend. I would take a gummy. Smoke some pot. Take a gummy, drop some mushrooms.  You know what?  And our egoic state is that place of fear. So there's either fear or love. Okay, fear is part of the ego. It's trying to make sense of things. It's always trying to make sense of things.   Besides the book, The Untethered Soul, great way to get out of your monkey mind, is I have a practice that I say, well, two things I do. I say, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I say it over and over to help me get out of my monkey mind. And then I have a forgiveness practice. And a forgiveness practice, forgiveness simply means forgiving love. Forgiving love. And my forgiveness practice is the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer, also known as the hapono, pono, pono, pono. And I might have butchered a little bit, but the hapono, pono, pono goes like this. And it's nine simple words. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. Like giving yourself an injection of B12, you're giving yourself, I just spit, an injection of love. And I invite everyone to give themselves love using the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer as a way to calm your nervous system down. And I gotta tell you, whenever I'm in anxiety, whenever I'm feeling fear, whenever I'm feeling upset, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I say it over and over again as a way to shore up my anxiety. And my hope for you, Sal, is you can try that along with blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then by the book, The Untethered Soul, it will change your life. And again, the link below to Jonathan recommends books. Great question, Sal, thank you so much. All right, if you have a question, purchase a super sticker or super chat or post the word question. And I'm scrolling here, okay. Question, RS says, how do I deal emotionally after being married 33 years to someone who was really emotionally unavailable? How do I heal? Oh, how do I heal? I thought it said deal, how do I heal? Well, first it's, okay, it has nothing to do with them and all about you. So right off the bat, when you made it about him or them, you're giving your power away. It's actually almost victim consciousness. So the real question is how, okay. All right, we could look at why you were with them, but that's irrelevant. My invitation for you is to do a deep dive into personal development, self-help and spiritual work. And you might wanna, if you really wanna go deep, then I highly recommend reading the book, The Hoffman Process, The Hoffman Process. The Hoffman Process will help you heal childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas that caused you to have negative patterns and limiting beliefs in your life and that belief that you needed to be with someone who was, well, I'm not saying you needed to believe that, but I'm saying the fact that you chose someone emotionally unavailable is most likely a reflection of your own emotional unavailability and I would start with the deepest dive of all. Now that's really heavy duty book. So you may wanna start with my book first just to get some practice in and then maybe reading The Untethered Soul. Oh, and then without a doubt, read the book Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. I love, love, love, love this book. And then if you really wanna go on steroids, do The Hoffman Process because that's one of the best recipes and I will tell you, I'm getting email after email after email from women, telling me how much they appreciate that I turned them on to the book, The Hoffman Process. Let me just tell you something up front, RS. That is gonna be herculean work. This is like doing personal development on steroids.  You are gonna be going through the weeds in the muck of your own emotional stuff.   A half mile, was it a half mile?  That's what's gonna happen.  And at the other end is what it feels like to be wrapped in a blanket of self-love. To be wrapped in a blanket of self-love. To be wrapped in a blanket of self-love. Everybody, I highly recommend doing this work. I did the actual live event, a seven, eight day deep dive into my stuff and I finally felt what it felt like to love myself, to be wrapped in a blanket of self-love. In fact, I'm really grateful the Hoffman process has come across my videos and they say, thank you, thank you, thank you for recommending our book all the time. So my hope is, RS, that helps you make a shift in your life as well. Thank you so much for that question. I really appreciate it. Nicole says, I'm very spiritual, lol, way to go. Joy says, yes, let's go to Peru, dying to do that, way to go. All right. Nicole says, I'd like to find someone to go fishing together with, okay, way to go. Let's see. Someone says, can you touch on Twin Flames?  All that Twin Flame stuff. I mean, it sounds great. We're just so magically aligned with each other.  Folks, let's go back to the iceberg analogy.  Okay, the Titanic, the Titanic came crashing to the iceberg because the Titanic was looking for that Twin Flame. Let's stop creating this. And by the way, I'm mostly talking about the coaches that try to sell you on this Twin Flame narrative. Look it. When two people are coupled together and they're happily coupled together, they don't really go into this whole narrative that we're Twin Flames with one another. They're just happy to be with one another. And the Twin Flame narrative is trying to make it so gigantic when quite frankly, any two people, any two people can reach this level of happiness. It takes getting out of our ego and into our heart. And if you wanna read a great book to get out of your ego and into your heart, folks, read the book if the Buddha dated. Read the book if the Buddha dated.   It says, time tested secrets for capturing the heart of Mr. Right. It's not about keeping Mr. Right, and it's not even Mr. Right.  This is what this book sets you up for. The work that I'm teaching you and recommending all this book is how to set you up for a healthy, happy relationship. Which do you prefer? A short-lived relationship that's based on, remember the four things, the physical and sexual, or do you wanna go deeper? Tell me, do you wanna go deeper? Say yes, please say yes and amen. Thank you. And thank you for your question. I went off on the tangent there. All right, Pat asks, Jonathan, if you're together and his Facebook shows nothing of you, what's the day, what's that day for the couple? Wait a minute, let me read this again, question. If you're together and his Facebook shows nothing of you, what's that day for that couple? I don't get the question, what's that day for that couple? I'm sorry, I just don't get that. Now, when a guy doesn't, okay, listen, if two people are in a relationship together and someone has an active Facebook page, now, someone has an active Facebook page, let me take my best friend. Do I have a picture of him now? My best friend is practically zero on Facebook. He has a page, he never posts, he never does anything. So of course he's not showing pictures of his girlfriend. He doesn't need to flaunt it, okay? Some people are like that. Now, some people that have active pages, then I would think that if they have an active page and they have an active life and they wanna share their life with their friends, that they would show pictures of their partner to show their friends. That's what an active page looks like. But a lot of guys aren't really into Facebook nearly as much as women are into Facebook. I'm just guessing here, that's just a speculation on my part. Now, I don't mean Instagram, look, there are guys on Facebook that are checking out swimsuit models all day long, but most of those guys spend time on Instagram or TikTok. Oh my God, I've been getting into TikTok. It is addictive. I start swiping and there's all these gorgeous women that have these videos in bikinis.  But here's the thing, Pat, it's just you have to ask yourself, is he an active person on social media? And if he's an active person on social media and he shows pictures of himself to his family and friends, why isn't he doing it? Could be embarrassed about his partner. He doesn't want anyone else to know. He's being secretive. I mean, there's a variety of reasons.  And I wish I understood your question better because it didn't make sense to me. All right.  It's refreshing. Thank you, Angela. I can't understand why so many women post comments lately on the channel. Why don't you get to the point? I am constantly making hundreds of points per video, hundreds of points per video.  Are they wearing, are their glasses fogged up? Because I don't get it. I make hundreds of points. Thank you, Angela. Kimberly says, can I shoot videos and go to Peru with you? Kimberly, we'll see. Send me your bathing suit picture. Just kidding, just kidding. All right. Question, Ursula says. Question, how do you keep men interested through the process of getting to know each other without having sex? Okay, this is a great question. You know what? Ask him out on dates, plan things, social activities, hobbies together, do stuff together. You can plan things, he can plan things, talk about things.  I can't believe how many women are in relationships, especially the women in long distance relationships. They have this fantasy that the telephone is the way you're bonding with a guy. Folks, the telephone is not how a man bonds with a woman. We do not bond on the telephone. Let me tell you something.  Guess what? Men bond this much through the telephone. You bond incessantly through the phone because for you, ladies, it's through the ears. For us, it's doing things together. And if, listen, I've had thousands of hours of phone calls with girlfriends in the past. I can't remember one of them, but I can remember the time we went to Vancouver together. I can remember the time we went to the Hollywood sign together. I remember the time we went to a party together. It's the things I do that I remember, not the telephone calls I remember. Ladies, stop spending all day on the telephone and start initiating social activities, hobbies and mutual interests together because that's the only way you're ever going to bond to get past the physical, into the emotional, into the functional and eventually the spiritual. Can I get an amen? Thank you. All right, Ursula, thank you for that question. All right. Michelle says, what happens when he's in an unhappy marriage but can't leave his money behind because she will take half his stuff?  Why do you care about a man who's married? Why do you care about a man who's married? Why do you care about a man who's married? Why do you care about a man who's married?  Okay. I think you guys get the point on that. Oh, I repeated myself. I repeated myself. I repeated myself. All right, Luann says, really great, true and magnetic as always. Thank you so much, Lulu, excuse me. All right. Bump, bump, bump. Weijin says, Jonathan, you look great with that color shirt. Thank you so much. This is actually one of my favorite shirts. It's starting to become tattered. Kathleen says, Jonathan, you're so funny. Thank you. Maggie says, we learn every day, enjoy your honesty and propose to keep smiling. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. So do we have any questions? All right, here we go. Let me just double check here. Nicole says, some people bond over the phone, my parents did from two phone calls, went on a few dates and got married in three weeks. It's 27 years later and they're still together. And you know what? When they're together 66 years like my parents, then we know it's a real long-term relationship. By the way, a lot of people get divorced at 25, 27 and 30 years. So I get it that they bonded over the telephone to phone calls and got married. That's the exception. I get it. They're probably in a happy relationship. They'll go the distance, but that's not the rule folks. That's the exception. And it's a rare exception. And by the way, 27 years ago, there wasn't internet dating. There wasn't social media.  And they probably met well before that. But anyway, excuse me, you said three weeks. So okay. How do you bond not through the phone with someone who is deployed? If you didn't establish the roots of trust early on in the relationship, it's very difficult to bond together until you've actually started doing shit together. And then it's, and by the way, keep in mind, you know, bonding is, it's great to bond, but you have to then keep the bond going. This is why folks, I highly recommend reading Barbara DeAngelis book, How to Make Love All the Time. It's one thing to bond. It's another to keep that bond together. How to make love all the time is a required reading if you wanna be in a healthy, happy relationship. So Barbara DeAngelis, by the way, there's a link to all my books below. Thank you for that question. I appreciate it. Stephanie says, the man is married sounds like he's already preoccupied. Exactly, we're talking about that married guy. Elaine says, your four points are right on. Thank you Elaine. This is new content that I've added. So I hope it's resonating with you. Just as a reminder, those four ways a man deeply bonds with a woman is physically and sexually, emotionally, functionally, functionally, that's blending lives together and then spiritually a common purpose together. All right. If you have a question, post the word question. By the way, am I doing a good, if I'm doing a good job, folks, can you purchase a super sticker and super chat to tell me I'm doing a good job? Please let me know by either a thumbs up, a super sticker or super chat. Make a donation to the scholarship fund. I'd be truly grateful. Thank you so much. All right. Debbie says, I won't talk on the phone long at all with a man before meeting him. You have to be face to face and I'm done talking phone. Thank you. I agree. Thank you. All right. Do we have a question? Post the word question and then write the question thereafter. I'm gonna scroll up to see if there's any questions I missed. Post the word questions. Oh. Okay.   I would just tell a man that this is how you operate. First off, I just want you to know that when I'm intimate with someone, I like to be monogamous and exclusive with someone when I'm intimate with them. How do you operate? So first find out how they operate from the premise of monogamy and exclusivity. And then you just spend time together doing things, okay?  Folks, let me just say this one more time. We men need sex before we consider a committed relationship with someone. So I know it goes against the grain for many of you, but that is part of the decision-making process. It's the first way we bond with you. So it's difficult. I mean, again, it's great to start. I mean, it would be great to start with the emotional side, but it starts with physical. Whether you like it or not, that's just the reality of things. Now, there's an old expression. Men are the gas, women are the brakes.  So a hundred hours or roughly 10 dates, but I just be careful to make it an arbitrary number. Like, look at Steve Harvey said in, act like a lady, think like a man, make a man, wait three months. I don't like it when it's a forced thing rather than a disgust and mutual thing. Let me repeat that. I don't like it when it's a forced thing. I like it to be something disgust and mutual. At least that's the way I invite everybody to look at it. Oh, wow, look at this. Thank you so much, we, Jim, for the question. Look at this. We've got a super sticker from Debbie. Thank you so much. And a super sticker from Donna. Thank you so much. That's very sweet of you. I really appreciate it. Oh, that's so wonderful. Thank you so much, Donna. And where's Debbie? There you go. Oh, we've got another one from Maria. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I hope I'm providing value for you. Thank you so much. All right. Oops, let me do this again. All right. Lucian, Luciana, it's a question.  Do you believe this dimension is implicit in the spiritual and functional side? Well, okay, so here's the thing. And now that's a great question. And intellectually speaking, when I talked about friendship, when I talked about friendship, peace in the emotional side, I'm really talking about the intellectual peace in there. I didn't say that, but I should have expressed it a little greater because connecting with your friends should feel like an emotional, intellectual component. There should be shared, and I said shared values, shared values. So I'm implying the intellectual peace in the shared values and the friendship peace, okay? But that was a great question. And I recognize that. And yes, by the way, this is a big piece that's missing a lot of relationship is that intellectual peace of being able to express your ideas, your thoughts and things with another person. So great question, Luciana. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much. Oh, Yvonne just purchased a super sticker. Thank you so much. Jonathan, you are loved. You are appreciated by all of us here. You inspire us so much to have self-worth and doing this dating thing right. Oh, thank you so much, Yvonne. I really appreciate that. Wow, there's a lot of generosity here. A lot of generosity here. Thank you so much. Here's a question from, well, it says question, please tell me what's going on. I have no idea what your question is, but thank you. Sarah says, question, is there a difference between the need of feeling loved to validate self and just the feeling that confirmation gives you? Oh my God, great question, Sarah. Okay. If you need something from somebody else, it's a need, you're destined to fail. When you need something from someone else. Now, desire is a whole different ball game. By the way, this is one of the reasons why I love the book, The Five Love Languages, The Five Love Languages, okay? The Five Love Languages are words of affirmation or for us, Leo's, it's words of adoration. And I'm just being a little tongue-in-cheek silly. Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, access service and gifts. Now, here's the thing. This is more the language we speak to other people. So my feeling in this area is we lead by example of how we want to be treated by our partner. So rather than needing our partner to validate us, how about we lead by example by validating our partner? And by the way, a healthy relationship is a two lane street. So if we're validating them, they should validate us. If they validate us, we should validate them. I look at it as like a ping pong game, a seesaw. You're both actively participants in the process. So rather than coming from a place of need, because need means it's something lacking within myself. I'm gonna repeat that. If it's a need, it means it's something lacking within yourself. Now, for example, do I need sex or do I want sex? I'm gonna talk about a need. I desire sex, that's a want. Do I need it? No, I can get up, I can brush my teeth, I can do things, I'm using that as an example. All right, let's go back to the validation piece. Do I need it? No, I can brush my teeth, I can go to work, I can drive my car without needing it. Do I want validation? Absolutely, but I don't need it. And this is why I recommend by leading by example, you lead by how you wanna be treated and choose a partner that matches you based on how you show up. And that's my invitation for you. Great question, Sarah, thank you so much. All right, question. Do video dates count towards the 100 hours? You know, I'm not, no, they don't. 100 hours of face-to-face time, without face-to-face time. Look it, you can spend 500 hours on video chat and the guy can diss you in 10 seconds when you meet or he can dump you for 100,000 reasons.  It's not gonna happen through the telephone, folks. And if it does, it's the exception. Oh my God, the fact that I said that, a thousand of you will start thinking that you're the exception. No, it's rare, rare, rare, rare, rare. It's as rare as, let me try to give you an example. Well, I can't think of one right now. All right, so you get the gist of where I'm going. Thank you so much. Okay, Pat says, is there such a thing as love at first sight? No, there is not love at first sight. There is only lust or limerence at first sight, lust or limerence. Hey Google, what does limerence mean? Oh, it's thinking. Here's the definition of limerence. The state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings, but not primarily for a sexual relationship. Folks, limerence, that's what happens at first sight, not love, because here's the thing. Let me explain this.  I'm gonna repeat that.  Love is we're going to merge our assets together and buy a house together. That's love, okay? You cannot experience that first sight. All your ever experience is lust or limerence because love, let me just put it to you this way, Pat. If you met a guy first date and you both said, oh my God, we have love at first sight and then he comes to you and says, can I borrow $10,000 to buy a new car? You would say no, most likely, why? But you love him, but you love him so why aren't you giving him the money? And I'm being kind of crude at this, but I'm just telling you, I don't believe it love at first sight, but I do believe in infatuation, lust. And does that mean it can't be built from there? Of course it can't, but not at the first date because you wouldn't give a guy $10,000 nor would someone sit by, would you sit by their side after a first date? If they're dying, probably not. But then again, there's probably a movie that it says otherwise. Ah, F. Flutter says, Limerence, I've recently been in the Limerence stage. Pat, I recognize you've been married for 35, 39 years. Again, the exception and not the rule. And I doubt it was true love, I think it was just infatuation or Limerence, but we'd like to, but it sounds more romantic when we say love when it was really lust or Limerence. Michelle says, well said, Jonathan, thank you. I just imagine my granny talks like Siri does. Okay, I've did that. All right, do we have any more questions? Post the question. Oh, here we go. All right, Natalie says, do you know how many happy couples? Do you know many happy couples? My friends are either single or not harmoniously married. So I'm wondering, is harmony even achievable? Actually, I'm in a community or group of people, or I have a community within me, my circle of friends, roughly a couple hundred people. And I would say roughly 40 are mated. So that makes about 80 of those hundred people. And of those 40, I'm gonna bet 39 of them are pretty happily mated together. I am surrounded by great couples.  And of the six guys, myself included, four of them are mated. Three are married, one is in a relationship, and they are, I mean, these are the couples I look up to. I go to them for couples advice because these are the couples I admire. So surround yourself with people who are happily mated because that can put you in the harmonic state of being in a, of attracting love for oneself. So great question, yes, I am surrounded by people. I encourage everybody to be surrounded by people. All right, Ouija says, what are your thoughts on the book, the subtle art of not giving a fuck? I'm reading it and wondering how can I implement it with your philosophy into my future? Bear with me, everyone, one second. Okay, great question, Ouija. And by the way, hold on a second.  And then the follow-up book you may wanna read is go unfuck yourself.   This is why I recommend reading the book, The Untethered Soul, to get out of your head and into your life. Get busy living or get busy suffering. You have a choice. And this is a great, these are great books, Ouija, and thank you so much for sharing that. All right, Jacqueline says, how long do you wait for a man to plan a date? My question is, how long do you wait before you plan a date with a man? Folks, this is like, all right, so we put the onus on men, but why aren't women planning dates? Why aren't you saying, hey, let's meet for coffee. Hey, I'd like to take you out for a drink. Why aren't women doing this? I'm gonna tell you ladies, you'll gain greater results when you are an active participant in the dating process. The dating process is a two-lane street. So instead of waiting for a man, pick up the phone and say, I'd like to take you out to coffee. When he says no, because he's not interested, then you can move on. That's what asking a man out does. It makes you eliminate him as a prospect sooner rather than later, because waiting, waiting, because you're leaning back in your feminine energy, waiting for guys to make all the move, shift the narrative, ask the guy out. When he says no, you get to move on. That's a better approach than waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. Am I gone yet? All right, thank you so much. Is this making sense, folks?  Question, I'm surrounding myself with happy couples. Does that mean I should not be in a local singles group? Thank you.  You can do whatever you want. You can do whatever you want.  Do whatever you want. Hang out with couples. Ask them if they have friends. Start being intentional in your life. Go out and do things. Join a dating site. Join a singles group. Do whatever you want, but never do it under the premise that you should do something. And I would ask all my happy couples to see if they can set you up with someone. Great question. All right, what does Jacqueline say? He says to wait for him. He has health issues and he's selling his house and moving closer to me. Okay, great. Oops, my Google just went off. All right, all right. Join COVID, someone said join COVID games. It's like hunger games. That's funny. Okay, Drecklin's world says, how do you have a full life while trying to date when you don't have friends and family nearby and the quality and quantity is low in my demographics? Depression and loneliness is setting in. Well, first off, I'm sorry about the depression and loneliness. You know what I would do? I would do a deep spiritual dive into reading this book and start doing spiritual work. I would do, as a matter of fact, hold on one second. After you, I would highly recommend reading the book Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. This is a great book to set you up. She was a big, she's a big leader of the Course in Miracles. The Course in Miracles is a great book to shift from our egoic minds and our pain to loving ourselves through forgiveness and compassion and gratitude. Let me just say this. I understand it's a challenge that you don't have friends or family nearby. This is a great time for you to go introspective and I highly recommend if you don't have activities to do, maybe it may not be physical activities, I highly recommend spiritual activities. This has nurtured my soul. Do personal development workshops like Hoffman Process or Insight or Onsite or Landmark just to name a few. Read these books that I recommend. Shift to a spiritual narrative in your life for yourself and spiritual just means being connected with your higher self because that's the juicy, delicious part of life in my mind. And then along the way you might find, you meet someone along the way that you can connect with and that's my invitation for you. Great question, so thank you so much. All right. KK says, I'm wondering what's Jonathan's favorite food? LOL, ribeye steak, ribeye steak. By the way, folks, if now you wanna ask me personal questions, knock yourself out. I will spend the next few minutes answering personal questions. Kimberly writes, question, how do I donate to John Connor's Fund? Thank you all that you do. You have helped me greatly, lost my son who would be 11. Oh, Kimberly, can I give you a big gigantic hug? Oh, so if you purchase a super sticker, super chat at the bottom of the chat box, those funds go to a foundation I have for basically it's gonna be a scholarship fund for folks that want personal development work. So that would be a great way. I'm gonna start a Patreon soon enough for doing some of those things. So yeah, great question. Thank you so much. And Kimberly, folks, as a parent who lost a child, I can tell you, there is no greater pain. There is no greater pain. Maybe there are other greater pains, but all I know as a parent, there is no greater pain.  So big hugs to you. Thank you. Ah, Sal writes, question, is it better to talk about your past pain journey after knowing each other for a while or just to communicate, to share ideas, especially if he's a life coach specialist? You know, I'm kind of a person that likes to go deep quickly. I mean, I prefer jumping into the deep end of the pool rather than just waiting in, but everybody is on their own journey.  Always remember, your barometer is your feelings, what feels right and what doesn't feel right. So do what feels right for you. I like to dive into the deep end quickly. Other people like to wade in, do what feels right for you, great question. Thank you so much. All right. Kim says, I joined a dating site with so many telling me I should. I don't buy my clothes online because I like to touch, feel and see things organically in life. So why would I pick a man that way? Well, Kim, great question. So my question for you, Kim, is how many single eligible men do you meet on a regular basis? How many single eligible men are asking you out on a date regular basis? If you are flooded with a ton of offers organically, you don't need to do online dating whatsoever. The vast majority of people are not surrounded by single eligible people on a regular basis, hence why online dating is more popular.  So, but that's my invitation for you anyway. So thank you, great question. I saw a question for me. Bear with me, everyone. I'm sorry, it's just I'm scrolling. Ah, this thing is just a little bit temperamental. Oh, here we go. Sadie says, personal question, Jonathan, will you settle rather than remain single? Will you settle rather than? So, I'm not sure I like the phraseology for the question. So let me just say it, let me frame it the way I interpret it. Folks, I am happy, very happy as a human being, relatively happy as a human being. Do I wanna be mated? Aps, a fuckin' Lutely. I'm a big gigantic romantic at heart. I wanna be mated. I wanna life mate. What I won't do is just choose someone out of desperation or just need a being with a partner. That to me is settling when you feel desperate or you feel that you just don't wanna try anymore.  I'm, you know what? I'm willing. I am looking not for that twin flame, that absolute limerence. I'm looking for a partner where we're aligned with each other, where we share the same values, where our lifestyles are blendable. And most importantly, she's an emotional grownup because I'm a sapiosexual. I like to do a deep dive into personal development, self-help and spiritual work.  And if a woman doesn't, then that's just not the woman for me. I think settling is what we do when we feel desperate and when we're happy with who we are, we attract the partners that we want in our lives. Hey, I just haven't met her yet. Yet, I just haven't met her yet. She's coming. She's just right around the corner. I know she's out looking for me. She's looking for me. She just needs to knock on my door. Oh, wait, is she there? Because when she finds me, she's gonna find a great partner. At least that's my hope is I'm a great partner for her. So great question. Thank you so much. All right, you know what folks? Okay, last question for the night. How did Jake, John, John, how do you pass the sexual test from a guy? If he asked about a body part to show yet, he doesn't say, I love you. And how do you not get played? Folks, how not to get played is learning how to ask better questions and pre-qualifying your prospect. That's your greatest chance for success. One of the things I do in my private coaching, schedule a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. I teach you about how to ask the right, learning which questions you should ask a guy, how to ask the right questions and how to vet for emotional maturity. If you do not have these skills, you have a greater chance of getting, I don't even like being played, but because that's victim consciousness being played by someone. Because most guys are good guys, they're just bad daters. Most human beings want connection companionship, but they're incapable of getting into those deeper roots of trust. That doesn't mean they played you, that just means that they're not capable. So let's not look at it from the narrative you got used by someone. My invitation for you is do the work yourself so you can be in a state of attracting what you want. And that's my invitation for you. All right, folks, this is gonna be a great place to wrap up today. I'm gonna repeat those four ways a man deeply bonds with a woman. First, it's that physical and sexual way. Second, it's the emotional way which shared values, friendship, and emotional maturity, including the intellectual piece. Third is functionality. Can our lifestyles blend together? Would I be willing to take this person on as my provider protector, or to be her provider protector? And lastly, spiritually, do we share a common bond, a common purpose?  So just trust me, you gotta get there if you wanna develop the deep roots of trust. And if you need help with that, schedule a discovery call with me. All right, great place to wrap up our live stream today. I wanna thank everyone for being on. I'm gonna read the questions. I appreciate the super stickers and super chats. Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do.  I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear or pillow, and give enter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye.


My name is Anti Biberstein. I'm from Germany and I study the research master in sociology and demography at UPF. I chose this program because it covers a wide range of topics, while at the same time we receive extensive training in research methods and analytical skills. I was looking for a program that I can do in English and the program offers the option to do a double degree. So this year I'm studying at UPF and next year I'm going to the University of Honingen. The best thing about this master is that we have students from all over the world. We have people from North America, from South America. My name is Jorge Cimentada. I am from the Dominican Republic. I did the master's in research in sociology and demography and I'm currently doing the PhD in political and social sciences. I was working as a market researcher and I wanted something related to research but much more focused on society and social issues. As soon as I saw a master in research in sociology and demography, looking at the UPF, looking at the ranking, I said, OK, this is something I'm interested in. The composition of the master was mainly international. We count with visiting professors from several different universities. In the international scope, I think the UPF is really well standing. The jobs that you could ask for are either in academia or PhD program. Besides that, NGOs, international organizations, market research companies, data analyst positions. I think the key takeaway here for me is critical thinking and this is not just for research, this is just for life.


by george c stevens lieutenant colonel army of the united states hereby certify that from one march nineteen forty five wait may nineteen forty five i was on active duty with the united states army signal core attached to supreme headquarters a light expeditionary forces and among my official duties was the direction of the photographing of not see concentration camps and prison camps as liberated by a light forces the motion pictures which will be shown following this affidavit were taken by official allied photographic teams in the course of their military duties each team being composed of military personnel under the direction of a commissioned office to the best of my knowledge in belief these motion pictures constitute a true representation of the individuals and scenes for they have not been altered in any respect since the exposures were made the accompanying narration is a true statement of the facts and circumstances under which these pictures were made george c stevens lieutenant colonel a u s one two before me the second day of october nineteen forty five james v donovan commander united states naval reserve i he are kelloge lieutenant united states navy hereby certify that from nineteen twenty nine to nineteen forty one i was employed at twenty a century fox studios in hollywood california as a director of photographic effect and i'm familiar with all photographic techniques since the six of september nineteen forty one to the present day of the twenty seventh of august nineteen forty five i have been on active duty with the united states navy i have carefully examined the motion picture film to be shown following this affidavit and i said if i that the images of these excerpts from the original negative have not been retouched distorted or otherwise altered in any respect and are true copies of the originals held in the vault of the united states army signal core these excerpts comprised six thousand feet of film selected from eighty thousand feet all of which i have reviewed and all of which is similar in character to these excerpts he are kelloge lieutenant united states navy sworn to before me this twenty seventh day of august nineteen forty five john ford captain united states navy these are the locations of the largest concentration in prison camps maintained throughout germany and occupied europe under the nazi regime this film report covering a representative group of such camps illustrates the general conditions which prevailed more than two hundred political prisoners were burned to death at this concentration camp near leipzig others among the original total of three hundred and fifty inmates were shot down by germany guards as they dashed from the prison huts to celebrate the arrival of american troops outside the city the atrocity story is told by the few who managed to survive they relate how twelve s s troopers and a gestapo agent lured two hundred twenty starving prisoners into a big wooden building at this camp sprayed the structure with an inflammable liquid and then applied the torch machine guns set up at various vantage points mowed down many victims who ran from the burning building some miraculously escaped the hail of bullets but were electrocuted by the live wires of offense which was the final hurdle for those fleeing the flames the leipzig victims were russians checks poles and french the dead are viewed by russian women liberated from slave labor that panic germany a concentration camp was overrun by the sixth armored division containing mainly hungarians who were people of wealth and esteem in their native country among them were young girls of only sixteen years of age the women show the scars of miserable existence under nazi prison rule american doctors examine the victims some have gangrenous wounds others suffer from fever tuberculosis typhus and additional communicable diseases all existed under appalling conditions in vermin infested quarters and with little or nothing to eat as soon as our troops arrived arrangements were made to remove these people from the miserable surroundings under supervision of the american red cross the stricken inmates are removed to a hospital which belong to the german air force nazis who formally maltreated them are forced to help look after the patients the staff of german nurses is also forced to attend the victims the women are able to smile for the first time in years at this concentration camp in the go to area the german starved clubbed and burned to death more than four thousand political prisoners over a period of eight months a few captives survived by hiding in the woods the camp is chosen for a high command inspection led by general dwight d eisenhower also present our generals omore and bradley and george's patent fourth armored division of general patents third army liberated this camp early in april the generals view they see the woodshed where a line covered bodies are stacked in layers in the stenches overpower former inmates demonstrate how they were tortured by the nazis american congressmen invited to view the atrocities were told by general eisenhower nothing is covered up we have nothing to conceal the barbers treatment these people received in the german concentration camps is almost unbelievable i want you to see for yourselves and be the spokesman for the united states the general and his party next see the crude woodland crematory actually a grill made of railway tracks here the bodies of victims were cremated charred remains of several inmates still lay heap to top the grill another group to visit the or growth camp is composed of local towns people including prominent nazi party members they'll be taken on a forced tour of the campsite by colonel hide and sears commander of the fourth armored division's combat command a which captured or drew a german medical major is compelled to accompany the town's people colonel sears stands by as the nazis are informed that they must see all the horrors at the camp first the visitors view some thirty freshly killed bodies lying in the court yard of the camp where they've been shot on the evening preceding the entry of american tanks these two are identified as slave labor bosses who maltreated tortured and killed their workers next to the woodshed which the nazis are reluctant to enter but colonel sears demands that they get a close-up look at the most gruesome of sites the labor bosses enter according to reports the local nazis continued their tour of the camp without apparent emotion all denied knowledge of what had taken place at or drew they are taken to the crematory two miles outside the camp where the list of the atrocities is read for all to hear four thousand or drew victims are said to include polls checks russians belgians frenchmen german jews and german political prisoners a day before these nazis visited the camp the bergameister of or drew force to view the horrors he and his wife were later found dead in their home apparently suicides american officers arrive at a nazi institution seized by first army troops under the guise of an insane asylum this has been the headquarters for the systematic murder of thirty five thousand polls russians and germans sent here mainly for political and religious considerations those still alive are examined by major herman balker of the american war crimes investigation team the townspeople in hadamard germany called this place the house of shutters meanwhile at the graveyard attached to the institution bodies are exhumed for autopsy twenty thousand are buried here fifteen thousand who died in a lethal gas chamber were cremated and their ashes entered death books found hidden in the wine cellar of the hadamard institution revealed part of the story of the mass killings the bulky volumes contain thousands of death certificates profession unknown nationality unknown was written after each name the corpses are lined up pending the arrival of w c i t officers major balker performs the autopsy a detailed listing is made of all clinical data interrogating the institution heads dr volman the taller man was the top not see in charge of the place the other man entering the room is carl billy chief male nurse he admits to killing inmates with overdoses of morphine a testimony of other witnesses substantiated the fact that morphine was issued at the institution without attempt at making a record as many as seventeen at a time died from the morphine injections the investigating officers were told that the not sees never bothered to determine whether a victim may have survived the overdoses instead all were hustled off to the graveyard and buried in piles of twenty to twenty four the prisoners are removed to await trial the hadamard judge told the investigators that when the ten thousandth victim died the institution heads and that's the official stage to celebration this is bring down prison in belgium it offers evidence of not see brutality imposed on belgium patriots during the period of german occupation many of the horror exhibits remain untouched such as the bloodstained coffins demonstrating how the victims were tied up for administering vicious beatings a barbed wire stick was used on the backs of the man another method for rendering a patriot helpless while he was attacked by his gestapo guards the not sees also would tie a man in chains in this manner and then apply the tourniquet burlin made thumbscrew and how it was used victim shows cars caused by repeated beatings others show what happened to them as a result of both beatings and cigarette burns abeljan demonstrates the manner in which is crotch was split by the not sees a woman discloses the results of a beating the harlan concentration camp near hanover out of ten thousand polish men brought here ten months prior to april nineteen forty five only two hundred remain prisoners who could walk worry moved before american troops entered hanover the others were left to starve and die immediate relief was provided for the man with the arrival of a red cross club mobile the man broke into tears when they were given hot soup other food and cigarettes and clothing when questioned most of these men could not remember when they'd last eaten a decent meal many had been beaten and tortured so long their minds had failed some of the inmates are too weak to leave their bunks or even eat others bunk together to keep their frail bodies warm the deaths continue even after liberation of the camp some were too far gone when the americans took over and a mg sergeant checks the list of inmates the victims relate the atrocity story and photographs are made for further documentation of the horrors committed at the hanover camp this concentration camp was overrun by american troops in april prisoners were mainly poles and russians maltreated and starved savage watchdogs were used to help guard the camp german civilians are forced to dig up the bodies this is the second burial ground for the victims the spot where they were originally buried after the massacre was apparently too close to the town the arnstadt villagers could not tolerate the stench of the dead and they themselves moved the bodies to this site now they again must exhume the corpses this time under armed persuasion victims bear the marks of violent deaths american troops view the evidence of nazi barbarism the slave labor camp at nordhausen liberated by the third armored division first army at least three thousand political prisoners died here at the brutal hands of ss troops and pardoned german criminals who were the camp guards nordhausen had been a depository for slaves found unfit for work in the underground v-bomb plants and in other german camps and factories amid the corpses are human skeletons too weak to move the fecal battalions work two days and nights binding wounds and giving medications but for advanced cases of starvation and tuberculosis there were often no cures survivors are shown being evacuated for treatment in allied hospitals victims are mainly poles and russians with considerable numbers of french and other nationalities also included in the camp roster of nordhausen is ordered to provide six hundred german male civilians will enter the twenty five hundred unburied bodies at the camp ministries last rights for the dead while the corpses are being carried to the hillside for burial then the actual burial in common graves of the twenty five hundred nordhausen victims senator senior grade jack h taylor u.s navy mollywood california believe it or not this is the first time i've ever been in the movies i've been working overseas in occupied countries in the balkans for eighteen months in october forty four allied officer i was captured december first by the severely beaten uh... even though i was in uniform severely beaten and considered as a non-prisoner of war i was taken to vienna prison where i was held for four months when the russians near to vienna i was taken to this mothausen concentration an extermination worst in germany we have been starving and beaten killed fortunately my turn hadn't come two american officers at least have been executed here here is the insignia of one u.s naval officer here is the dog tag here is the army officer executed by cast in this locker uh... there were five or six ways by cast by shooting by beating that is beating with clubs by exposure standing out in the snow naked for forty-eight hours having cold water thrown on them in the middle of winter starvation dogs and pushing over hundred-foot clip this is all true has been seen and is now being recorded this uniform uh... i came here in uniform but it was taken away from me and this was substituted with my number in u.s.a i have been condemned to death as another american also in this camp but fortunately the 11th armor division has come through in savings and time pictorial evidence of the almost unprecedented crimes perpetrated by the nazis at the buccan vault concentration camp the story in written form is contained in the official report of the prisoner of war and displaced persons division of the united states group control council which has been forwarded from supreme allied headquarters to the war department in washington states that one thousand boys under fourteen years of age are included among the twenty thousand still alive at the camp but the survivors are males only and at the recent death rate was about two hundred a day nationalities and prison numbers are tattooed on the stomachs of the inmates report lists the surviving inmates as representing every european nationality it says the camp was founded when the nazi party first came into power in nineteen thirty three and has been in continuous operation ever since although it's largest populations date from the beginning of the present war one estimate with the camp's normal complement at eighty thousand in the official report the buccan vault camp is termed an extermination factory the means of extermination starvation complicated by hard work abuse beatings and tortures incredibly crowded sleeping conditions and sicknesses of all types by these means report continues many tens of thousands of the best leadership personnel of europe have been exterminated bodies stacked one upon the other were found outside the crematory the nazis maintained a building at the camp for medical experiments and vivisections with prisoners as guinea pigs medical scientists came from Berlin periodically to reinforce the experimental staff in particular new toxins and antitoxins were tried out on prisoners who entered the experimental buildings ever emerged alive the weapons used by ss guards the body disposal plant inside of the ovens which gave the crematorium a maximum disposal capacity of about four hundred bodies per ten-hour day gold-filled teeth were extracted from bodies before incineration the ovens of extremely modern design and heated by coke were made by a concern which customarily manufactures baking ovens the firm's name is clearly inscribed all bodies were finally reduced to bone ash twelve hundred civilians walked from the neighboring city of weimar to begin a forced tour of the camp there are many smiling faces and according to observers at first the germans act as though this was something being staged for their benefit one of the first things that the german civilians see as they reach the interior of the camp is the parchment display on a table for all to gaze upon is a lampshade made of human skin made at the request of an ss officers wife large pieces of skin have been used for painting pictures many of an obscene nature there are two heads which have been shrunk to one-fifth their normal size these and other exhibits of Nazi origin are shown to the townspeople the camera records the changes in facial expressions as the weimar citizens leave the parchment display the tour continues with a forced inspection of the camp's living quarters where the stench filth and misery defied description they see the result of lack of care in the bad case of trench foot other evidences of horror brutality and human indecency are shown and these people are compelled to see what their own government had perpetrated correspondence assigned to the buchenwald story have given wide notice to the well-fed well-dressed appearance of the german civilian population of the weimar area dachau factory of horrors dachau near munchen one of the oldest of the nazi prison camps it is known that from nineteen forty one to nineteen forty four up to thirty thousand people were entombed here at one time and thirty thousand were present when the allies reached dachau the nazis said it was a prison for political dissenters habitual criminals and religious enthusiasts when these scenes were filmed over sixteen hundred priests representing many denominations still remained alive they came from germany czechoslovakia france and holland incoming prison trains arrived carrying more dead than living those strong enough to travel were brought to dachau from outlying points which were threatened by the allied advance this is how they looked when they arrived some survived and when the rescuers arrived they administered what aid they could others died after the liberation they were buried by their fellow prisoners as in the case of other camps local townspeople were brought in to view the dead at dachau this is what the liberators found inside the building hanging in orderly rows with the clothes of prisoners who had been suffocated in a lethal gas chamber they had been persuaded to remove their clothing under the pretext of taking a shower for which towels and soap were provided this is the browse pod the shower bath inside the shower bath the gas vents on the ceiling the dummy shower heads in the engineer's room the intake and outlet pipes push buttons to control inflow and outtake of gas a hand valve to regulate pressure cyanide powder was used to generate the lethal smoke from the gas chamber the bodies were removed to the crematory here is what the camera crew found inside these are the survivors I am the officer commanding the regiment of royal artillery guarding this camp our most urgent task has been making the ss of which there are about fifty the dead up to probably buried about seventeen thousand people and that we expect to be to bury about half as much again when we came here conditions were indescribable the people had had no food for six days and were eating turnips the cook houses have now been organized and although they have to be guarded so that everybody gets a fair share of the food things are now going fairly well the officers and men regard this job as a duty that has to be performed and none of us are likely to forget of what the german people have done here each of the woman doctor at concentration camp bergen belton twenty-fourth of april nineteen forty five this is the doctor in charge of the female section of the concentration camp bergen belton she was a prisoner at this camp he says there were no covers straw stacks or beds of any kind persons had to lie directly on the ground they were given one-twelfth of a loaf of bread and some watery soup daily almost seventy-five percent of the people were bloated from hunger an epidemic of typhus broke out two hundred and fifty women and thousands of men died daily in the men's camp they cut out liver, heart and other parts of the dead and ate them they gave medicines and the SS men had the whole year eaten which was sent by the Red Cross to us and two days earlier before the British army no medicines were available because the SS men had collected everything two days before the British army came the first Red Cross food was distributed two months before one hundred and fifty kilograms of chocolate had been sent to the children of the camp ten kilograms were distributed the rest the commandant kept for himself and used it as barter to his personal advantage one hundred and fifty kilograms of gasoline was sprayed on the floor so that after a few minutes the people died in such a way that we were experimented women were taken young, nineteen-year-old beautiful women and the different gynecological operations she added that various medical experiments were made on the prisoners doctors gave some of them intravenous injections of twenty cubic centimeters of benzene which caused the victims to die she concludes by saying that sterilizations and other gynecological experiments were performed on nineteen-year-old girls camp commandant is taken into custody such was the speed of the Allied advance that the guards were taken before they had time to flee inside Belsen the same story the situation and sickness liberated prisoners could not control their emotions despite german attempts to cover up we found these in the open field clear-cut evidence of beatings and outright murder was on every hand nameless victims were numbered for records which the Germans destroyed SS guards were impressed to clean up the camp area German woman guards were ordered to bury the dead sanitary conditions were so appalling that heavy equipment had to be brought in to speed the work of cleaning up this was Bergen-Belsen


The world of gaming had changed. The PlayStation had ushered in a new era of polygonal graphics in home consoles. For the first time, 3D rendered environments were possible on gaming devices that were in the homes of millions of people. Game makers were experimenting with an entirely new dimension as they found ways of making their games feel more immersive and alive. Some older, two-dimensional game genres were making the transition a lot more successfully than others. Hideo Kojima was excited. While many of his colleagues saw the third dimension as an obstacle to overcome, he saw it as his opportunity to finally create the games he'd always wanted to make. Hideo, already a noteworthy game creator thanks to his work on the Metal Gear series, was about to blend video games and movie tropes in a way that had never been done before. He was going to use the impressive power of the PlayStation to completely revolutionise the idea of what a video game could be. Most people, Hideo insists, are made up of at least 70% water, but not Hideo himself.  Hideo was raised by the television, and he'd always dreamed of making movies, before instead finding his niche making video games. Even as an adult and an established video game creator, he still felt the filmmaking itch. Whenever he was recording a home movie of his wife and son, he'd imagine he was a cameraman on a film set, and he'd do his best to incorporate sweeping camera shots that, he hoped, lent a greater production value to these videos. Hideo was working on a title called Police Nauts when he first heard of the PlayStation's technical specifications. He was blown away, realising just how powerful this machine was. He began to speculate about what games might look like on this new system. With the PlayStation, came an opportunity for Hideo to finally live his moviemaking dream. What if he created a game that was presented like a film, with dynamic camera angles, fleshed out characters, and a strong narrative that kept the player motivated throughout the action? These elements weren't entirely unheard of in gaming up to this point, but Hideo had lofty goals of tying everything together in a way that would create an interactive movie. He wanted this game to feel truly cinematic. While still working on Police Nauts, Hideo began dreaming up ideas for this technically impressive new game. He decided that he wanted to return to the Metal Gear series, as now, with all the new graphical power afforded by the PlayStation, he could make something new and innovative with this familiar franchise. He titled his new creation, Metal Gear Solid, a reference to his lead character, Solid Snake, as well as an indication that this game would have a dimensionality that was lacking from earlier titles. This game was to feel real and tangible, thanks to its polygonal design. It was like moving from a flat 2D square to a 3D cube. It was also a subtle dig at a rival company. Hideo worked for Konami, who wanted to surpass Square, the makers of Final Fantasy. Hideo was going to show his rivals how to really get video game storytelling right. Cubes and blocks were also literally used in the development of the game. Where previously, Hideo had only needed to plot out level spaces on a single flat plane, he now needed to think about the way players would explore a 3D environment. He needed to be able to see the various game areas from new angles before committing to layouts. The solution was to reach for Lego bricks. As Hideo plotted out the environments that Solid Snake would sneak around, he constructed areas in miniature to get a sense of the space. This made for an interesting office environment. At one point, Hideo's son came to visit him at work, and after that, the little boy was convinced that his daddy's job was simply to play with Lego all day. This wasn't the only way that Hideo tried to make the game world feel more real during development. At one point, his team were able to perform research by meeting with a SWAT team at Huntington Beach in California.  The team were given the opportunity to watch and participate in drills featuring battering rounds, explosives, firearms and tanks. Hideo took particularly in firing off rounds from a machine gun for the first time, while his coworkers viewed him warily. He also got stuck in with a battering ram at one point, haphazardly chipping away at a locked door piece by piece rather than managing to break it open instantly. Finally, when the door lay in ruins, he was treated to some slightly hesitant applause from onlooking SWAT members. Then back at work in their office, the team consulted regularly with a military advisor in order to ensure that Metal Gear Solid accurately portrayed a realistic view of stealth and espionage. That said, Hideo refused to stick very rigidly to the reality of modern military rules and tactics. This game was to be a science fiction story, and he wanted to play with as many fantastical elements as possible. Hideo felt that the world of Metal Gear Solid should feel a lot like people's idea of what the 23rd century might look like. He wanted to show that a seemingly far away, distant future was actually a lot closer than people thought. In order to fully capture this, and in order to fill the game with engaging, interesting and visually distinct characters, Hideo hired a new artist, Yoji Shinkawa. It was Yoji's job to breathe life into the characters of Metal Gear Solid. Hideo's vision called for a far larger cast of digital actors, and they needed to look and feel distinct. Yoji was already a big fan of Hideo's work and of the previous Metal Gear games. He wanted to chew up Solid Snake, digest him, and then produce his own, original version of the classic character. Hideo had some suggestions to make as to how Yoji should go about this. Specifically, Hideo wanted Snake to be bereft of colour, with washed out greys. The logic here was that it would be easier for players to project onto the character if Snake didn't have too much to distinguish him from the grey environments of the game. Plus, it made sense from a stealth perspective. By contrast, Yoji was given tremendous freedom to experiment with the designs of the rest of the characters in the games. Together with Hideo, he came up with a series of weird and wonderful characters that matched the pseudo-serious, occasionally farcical tone of the game. When the first trailer for Metal Gear Solid debuted at the E3 Gaming Expo, audiences were taken by complete surprise, and instantly fell in love. Hideo was incredulous at the reception. While his work had always been well regarded, he hadn't considered himself to be a hugely big deal in the worldwide gaming industry. The trailer for Metal Gear Solid was left playing, looping on a screen throughout the entire show. Hideo spotted some people who had been watching it in the morning who were still there at the end of the day, staring and awe at the footage. With so much anticipation came a degree of pressure to deliver, but even so, Hideo still wasn't aware of just how big of a deal his game was about to become. He had heard of notable big-budget video games selling upwards of a million copies, and he hoped that his would manage similar numbers. When it finally released, Metal Gear Solid instead sold over 6 million units. The game was everywhere, worldwide. It was a full-blown phenomenon, and many players announced that it was the best game on the PlayStation. Hideo found himself catapulted from being a well-respected game developer to suddenly becoming a fully-fledged superstar. Everyone wanted to know more about him, not just in Japan, but throughout the rest of the world. Hideo was pleased. His dreams had been realized, and he was now free to push the boundaries between games and movies even further in his future projects. The moral of the story is that you should hold on to your daydreams. We don't always get to do the things we wanted to when we were little. Hideo Kojima carried within his heart the desire to make epic cinematic masterpieces, but even as a game developer, this wasn't entirely possible. It was only once technology caught up with Hideo's vision that he was able to make the kinds of cinematic games that he wanted to. What's more, he was only in a position to make Metal Gear Solid because he developed other talents in different creative media first. If you have something that you're passionate about, it doesn't seem to be quite working out for you at this time. Don't give up on that dream, but see what else you can do in the meantime. Develop different skills and talents, and see what other interests you can pursue. You never know how these learning opportunities might be useful later in life. Pursue your dreams, try your best. If you keep working hard, then even if you don't end up exactly where you expected in life, you can still feel the joy from doing what you love.