Amen, so keep your place in Ephesians chapter 5. We'll be coming back there in just a few minutes, but this morning we're going to start a two-part sermon series. I don't usually do a sermon series on Sunday morning, but we're going to do a series on men and women and their roles in the Bible. So first of all, a warning, this sermon is not these sermons this morning and next Sunday morning are not going to be politically correct. Not that many sermons I preach here are politically correct. We go with what the Bible says, not what the culture of the day is saying. So this morning we're going to be talking about the title of the sermon this morning. It's called Characteristics of a Biblical Man. So we're going to look at what the Bible says that a man should be. The problem that we have today is that this idea of, you know, and as a matter of fact this would probably be a topic that has touched on a few times a year because we have this culture today that is trying to blend these two things together, that is trying to blend men and women together.  The Bible is very clear on what men are supposed to be like and what women are supposed to be like and the roles that they are supposed to have. So this morning we're going to look at the men and if the ladies are listening to the sermon this morning and they're like, yeah, exactly. Well, you're next week, so don't worry about that. We're going to cover both sides of this coin, but these are complementary things. We have to remember that we just have to have faith and if it's in the Bible we have to do it that way. That's God's design. God's design is perfect and it's when we go outside of God's plan of His design for our lives, for our families, for our marriages, for whatever in our lives is when things will go wrong for us. You know, God didn't put all these rules and all these directions in the Bible to make us miserable. He actually did it to help us and to bless us in our lives. So this morning we're looking at characteristics of a biblical man. We're going to start with the guys this morning. Now, there's a lot of things. This really, as I wrote this sermon, I really was thinking this should be a sermon series in itself. This is not a comprehensive list and a couple of things I need to point out is also that there are many things that are similar that we're not going to talk about between men and women. We're focusing on what the differences are. Obviously, all men and all women should be honest. All men and all women, as we talk week after week in this church, should have sin out of their lives, should be spiritually minded. But this series, we're focusing on what the Bible says the different roles, the different characteristics are.  Look, men and women also, because of these characteristics, you will see this morning and next Sunday morning. Men and women also have different struggles in their lives. Men will struggle with things that women don't struggle as much with. And same thing, women will struggle with things that men do not struggle with. And I will point those things out as well. I'd like this to be practical. So just as the Bible wants it to be, we want to listen to what the Bible says and we want to think about practical application in our lives so we can become what the Bible wants us to become. So let's look at some characteristics. We'll start with the simple ones. We'll start with the simple ones. What are the characteristics of a biblical man? So the Bible, or the Bible, but the world out there is telling us that it doesn't matter what we look like. It doesn't matter what we look like. You could possibly say I'm reading too much into things, but no, look, the Bible says that God cares what we look like. God cares what we look like. I'll show you some incredible detail on what God says. We have all these things that are being told to us today that you just look around at what people are looking like today. There's all kinds of weirdness out there. There's all kinds of just like really odd things. These are really like subtle attacks on the Bible because God cares how we look, folks. God cares how we look. There's this whole body positive movement out there that is just like, look, it's all against the Bible because God actually cares how we look. Turn to Deuteronomy chapter 22. We're talking about characteristics of a biblical man. Guess what? The Bible says that you should look like a man. Did you know that? The Bible says that you should look like a man, meaning men and women are to look different. Look at Deuteronomy chapter 22 in verse number five. Now this, of course, pertains to both men and women. We'll talk about the women's role in this next week, but look at Deuteronomy chapter 22 in verse number five because everybody, even churches today, are teaching that anything that you could look like, anything that you could wear is just like, okay, it just doesn't matter. But look at verse number five of Deuteronomy chapter 22. We're talking about characteristics of a biblical man this morning.  Say, what does that mean? Look at the verse number five. It says, the woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man. Then look at this. It says, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment because it would be funny. Aren't we coming up on Halloween? Aren't we coming up on Halloween? And I can remember way back when, before I was saved, that during Halloween there would always be men that would cross dress or some guy would put on a, would dress as some woman or something during Halloween. And it's like, haha, that's funny. Does God think it's funny? Look what it says. It says, a man should not put on a woman's garment for all that do so are what? Are funny to the Lord? It says, abomination unto the Lord thy God. Look now, obviously a woman's garment here is obviously understood to be a dress. I mean, this is why my wife and my daughter wear dresses. It's a woman's garment. And it's not funny for men to cross dress though. It's an abomination to the Lord. It's an abomination to the Lord. Look, men are to dress like men is what the Bible is saying here. I mean, even you say, well, I don't wear a dress, but look, even all this effeminate clothing that are being pushed on men, this is an agenda by Satan to blur the lines between men and women. You know, I mean, look, when I was growing up, and maybe it was just where I grew up, there was no such thing as like men's designer jeans. That was just weird to even see that kind of come out. All right, look, men should dress like men. Men should wear, you know, men's clothes. All right, not just a dress, but men should dress like men.  That's where I'm at. You're just like, why?  That's why. You ever been out fishing with me?  You need a bunch of equipment because he catches a lot of really big fish and he gets into a lot of tangled up situations. Those two things, all right? So I've got constant pliers and weights and everything. Look, you should dress like a man, the Bible says. All right? And it is not funny. It is not funny. This is why, by the way, turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 11. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 11. It is not funny for a man. Look, this is how Satan always starts out in society. You know, you start, you know, back in the 70s and 80s, they start showing movies that are funny with a man dressed up as a woman, these comedies. What they're doing is they're trying to get you used to that. Look at what we're dealing with today. We're dealing with this, it's like a serious thing where people are literally saying, if you dress like a woman, you are a woman. It's like, what is going on here? All right? This is what happens in society. God cares what you wear. God cares what you look like. Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 11 and look at verse 14. The Bible says, Doth not need even nature itself teach you. Whenever you hear that word, nature or natural, you know what that's referring to? That's referring to Romans 2.15 where God wrote the law in your heart. That's why if you've ever been around like somebody that was dressed up in a costume or dressed up as a woman and you see a man dressed as a woman, it's gross. You know, a normal, natural person will look at that and they won't want to see that. It's against nature to them. This is what the Bible is saying. It's literally against your conscience. It's not funny. It's abomination to the Lord. The Bible says, Doth not even nature itself teach you. So we looked at clothing, but look at this. That if a man has long hair is a shame on him. God cares about your haircut. Can you believe that? That's the detail that God gets into here. God says a man should not have long hair. Look at verse 15. But it says, if a woman have long hair is a glory to her. Isn't that a very stark difference? That if a woman has long hair, it's a glory to her for her hair is given for a covering. And we're not focusing on the women this morning, but if you look back at verse number four and verse number five, this is why traditional etiquette. I don't know, maybe the younger people in the church wouldn't know this, but traditional etiquette teaches that women could wear hats in church, but men could not. Why? It's because of this Bible teaching right here. For a man to have his head covered while he's praying was a shame.  And that was okay. It's because of this Bible teaching that for a woman to have a hat on in church or a covering, but it says her hair is her covering in verse 15 and verse number five. But this is just where that came from just to give you an idea. So look, men should not dress as women. Men should dress like men. And men should not have long hair. You say, what in the world? This is why like all these paintings and all these renaissance, renaissance, you know, portrayals of Jesus with the long hair are completely false. They're, they're, and it's actually an attack on Jesus. It's actually, you know, feminizing the Lord Jesus Christ because Jesus would not have had long hair. You say, why? Because it's a shame for a man to have long hair. You say, what about Samson? He was under a Nazarite vow. Jesus was not under a Nazarite vow, right? Not to get into that. But look, God wants you to look different. If we just, just look at the philosophy here. God cares how we look. God cares that men look different than, than women and women look different than men. And, and look, there's nothing new under the sun. You add, why did he do that? Look at today. Look at what is going on today. Like long hair in California is like a, just a thing for men. All right? But look for a man that believes the Bible, he would not want to have long hair. Look at, go to 1 Corinthians chapter 6, just a, a few chapters back. So men should look like men. That's a pretty easy one. We're starting out with the easy ones and we'll get, we'll get harder and more complicated as we go, all right? That's, that's one-on-one stuff right there. You should look like a man. All right? Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 6. Look at verse number 9. 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 9. The second one is this. The second characteristic of a biblical man is you should act like a man. You're like, what? What, what's that mean?  Now this is a big topic right here. Act like a man. What does that mean? Look at 1 Corinthians chapter 6 and verse number 9. Just to point out in this, in these couple verses, there's, look, there's a lot of doctrine in these two verses and their sermons in themselves. I'm not going to get into that, but I just want to point out in these two verses that God is saying, I do not want men and women to act the same. This is all I'm getting at in these two verses. Look at verse number 9. It says, know ye not, know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God. Be not deceived.   Now I'm not going to get into the doctrine of that verse, but all I want to point out in these two verses, these are very serious sins. If you look at 1 Corinthians chapter 5 and verse number 11, several of the six verses that will actually get you kicked out of a church are listed right here, are listed in this list. So these are very serious sins, and on the list is effeminate. What does effeminate mean? The actual definition of the word effeminate is this, having or showing, a man having or showing characteristics regarded as typical of a woman. And then it says in parentheses, unmanly. This is the dictionary. This is the dictionary. So here's the point. If there was no difference between the way a man is supposed to act and a woman is supposed to act, the word effeminate would not even exist. The word effeminate would not even exist if men and women were the same. If they had the same roles, they were to look the same, they weren't to act the same, the word wouldn't even exist. Effeminate means a man acting like a woman.  Look, the Bible here is saying act like a man. I mean, so what does that mean? What does that mean? Act like a man. You know, look, our culture today, and we have to take our definition of acting like a man from the Bible, because our culture today has defined manhood completely backwards. It has defined, first of all, the tough guy. The tough guy in today's popular culture is going to be a drunken whoremonger. That's what a tough man is in today's culture.  I remember John Wayne was like a big thing when I was growing up, like the John Wayne movie. John Wayne was like the epitome of a tough guy.  And you think back on how this portrayal was, I'm sure it's way worse now, but you think back on this, it's just like they're always in, you know, drinking whiskey and in bars and all these types of things, because, and that became, that became, you know, you think Hollywood doesn't define where this country goes? Look, it's a big deal. Hollywood literally tells us, like, not us, but Hollywood literally tells this country what is true and what is not true. They literally have defined manhood as just a drunk, but Romans 14 verse 21 says that drunkenness is weakness. So which is it? Hollywood tells us that, you know, drinking hard alcohol and drinking all the time is tough. But the Bible says it's weak. So you see how it's the opposite? I mentioned to the guys, we had a great discussion on Wednesday night, I mentioned to the guys, you were talking about all these different things and what could be and what could not be. And I'm like, yeah, you pretty much have to tell yourself that everything you've been taught is wrong. Because it's not just different, it's completely opposite. You know, the Bible says it's weakness. The world says it's toughness. So we have to get our definition of what a man is correctly. Hollywood will also say that, you know, the Christian man is weak. He's soft. The guy that goes to church in any movie or that the church-going father is always a weakling. He's always a really soft person. Is that what the Bible says? Turn to Jeremiah chapter 51. Turn to Jeremiah chapter 51. Should men be soft? I mean, we're Christian men. We're Christian men. I want to be how the Bible wants me to be. So should Christian men be soft? Look at Jeremiah chapter 51. Look at verse number 30. Jeremiah chapter 51 and verse number 30. We're talking about Jeremiah's time here. We're talking about Jeremiah's time back before Babylon invaded or after Babylon invaded in this case. Look at verse number 30 of Jeremiah chapter 51. It says, the mighty men of Babylon have foreborn to fight. They have remained in their holds. Their might, again, mighty men. David had mighty men. Their might have failed. And then look what it says. It says, they became as women. You know another word could be used here? They became effeminate. So these mighty men, they used to be mighty, but they became as women. They burned their dwelling places. Her bars are broken. In Isaiah 3.12, I'll just read it for you. It says, As for my people, it says, children are their oppressors. So these people, children are ruling over them. It says, and women rule over them. It says, oh my people, they which lead thee cause thee to error and destroy the way of thy paths. It says, these men are being ruled by children. They're being ruled by women. Their might had failed in Jeremiah chapter 51. Look, men are to lead. Men are to be leaders. Turn to first, second Timothy chapter 2. Turn to second Timothy chapter 2. Let's look at Paul. Paul is talking here in second Timothy chapter 2. It gives us a great example. Paul is talking to a young leader. He is talking to a young man who is going to be a spiritual leader. He's going to be a pastor, a leader to a flock of people. Look at second Timothy chapter 2 and look at verse number 1. Look what Paul says. So the question is, the question is what kind of characteristic, when it comes to softness, when it comes to, you know, how a demeanor of a Christian man is supposed to be? How is a Christian man supposed to be? Look at second Timothy chapter 2. Look at verse number 1. Look what Paul says. Is the Hollywood definition of a Christian family man, a biblical man that's a soft, soft-spoken weakling, is that true? Look at verse number 1. Paul is giving advice to a spiritual leader here. He says, thou therefore, my son, he says, look, he says, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And then look what he says in verse number 2. And don't miss this. He says, and the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, we're learning about these things in the book of Acts right now. We just went through Paul's first missionary journey. What are the things that Paul is talking about here? What are the things that Timothy has heard of Paul? Is Paul a weakling? No, Paul was a hard charger. Paul was charging through the face of death. They went and they tried to kill Paul on multiple different occasions. And just to get back to disciple people, he went back to where they came from, the people that tried to kill him. We just learned about this in Acts chapter 14. They could have taken the easy way home after the first missionary journey. After Paul was literally stoned where they thought he was dead, he gets up, he continues to preach the gospel, and then he goes back the same way he came where the people came from that formed the mob that tried to murder him. This is the things that Timothy has heard of Paul. Paul is saying, be strong. Look what he says in Acts. He says, if thou, he says the same, commit thou to faithful men. I have that underlined in my Bible. And we're going to talk about that, those two words right there, faithful men with another characteristic in a few minutes. He said, who shall be able to teach others also. So he's saying like you need to be faithful in order to be able to carry out what I'm telling you. But then look at verse number three. He says, thou therefore endure hardness as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. You know what you need? You know what you need to endure hardness? To endure hardness, you need to be a hard man. To endure hardness, you cannot be a soft weakling. To endure hardness in your life. Look, men should be strong. In 1 Peter chapter three, we'll talk about this next week. It says that women are the weaker vessel. That doesn't mean women are weak or to be weak, but it says that men are to be stronger than the women. And this is why God put them in this leadership role. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 16. 1 Corinthians chapter 16. You cannot endure hardness if you are soft. Turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 16. Look at verse number 12. The Bible says, as touching our brother Apollos, I greatly desired him to come unto you with the brethren, but his will was not at all to come at this time, but he will come when he shall have convenient time. He's like, I can't send somebody to you right now. He's saying I'm trying to get somebody there. I'm trying to get an evangelist. I'm trying to get a pastor. I'm trying to get you a leader right now. He's talking to this church. Notice verse 13. What do we see? He says, ye, he's talking to the whole church. He says, watch ye. He's like, I can't send somebody for you now to help lead you. He says, watch ye. Stand fast in the faith. Quit you like men. Be strong. He's like, you need to have strength. You know what quit means? He's saying act. That means act. He's saying, act like men. What do you mean? What does that mean? It says, be strong. That's what that means. So to act like a man, you must have strength. You must be a strong Christian leader as a man. That is what is required by the Bible. Look, what kind of strength does that mean? It means all kinds of strength. It means you must be mentally strong. You must be physically strong. Think about John Mark in Acts chapter 13. We don't know why John Mark decided to not continue through the toughest part of the journey with Paul and Barnabas. We don't know why. The Bible doesn't say why, but he wasn't strong enough to continue either mentally, physically, spiritually or whatever. He just wasn't strong enough at that point to continue with them. And you saw that the last part of that journey was the most difficult. Part of that journey. Turn to 1 Timothy chapter 5 or just look at here's some things that are going to need strength. This is why you need strength.  Look at 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse number 8 or just look at the front of your bulletin. It's the verse of the week. Leading the Christian home takes all of this strength, physical, mental and spiritual strength. Look at 1 Timothy chapter 5 verse number 8. This is a pretty serious statement in the Bible right here. The Bible says, but if any provide not for his own.   You have to go back and figure out how to not be lazy and how to not be slothful. If you notice, if you go and just do a study on slothfulness and diligence, which is the opposite of that in the Bible, you look at Proverbs 20, 21, 24, 26, I believe it is. You'll notice that look, women are to be hardworking as well. All right, but you'll notice the vast majority of verses in the Bible that specifically talk about someone being slothful are pointed at the man. They're pointed at a man being slothful. His, his, you know, it's talking about he will be led to poverty. I mean it's always, it's many times the majority of the times that slothfulness is brought up is directed at a man. You say why? I look at 1 Timothy 5.8. The Bible says if any provide not for his own, that means his family and especially for those of his own house, he had denied the faith. It is worse than an infidel. That means worse than an unbeliever.  It's saying, look, you're, you're looked at as low. That's as low as it gets. Like a man that doesn't provide for his family. The Bible here is saying is that it is a man's job to provide for his family. I mean we live in a culture where it's just, you know, it's just 80, 80 some percent of families are just dual income families. But the Bible says that's your responsibility as the man. That's on you. Now look, that can be stressful.  I can't let my, my children be taught that. So now I need to homeschool my children. You know, my wife should be a keeper at home. We'll talk about that next week. But look, handling, you know, providing for your family in a day and age like today, especially in a, in a, in an expensive place that we live like this, it can be stressful. But you know what that means? That takes strength. That takes hardness. It could be, it can be hard emotionally. It can be hard mentally. It can be, you know, it takes, you know what it takes? It takes a sound mind. How are you going to have a sound mind when you're drunk? How are you going to have a sound mind when you're trying to be the tough guy that Hollywood says that you should be? It's not going to work because it's the opposite. Right? Look, it takes strength and hardness to fulfill your biblical role as a leader. Turn to Proverbs chapter 13. Guess what? Here's another one. Here's another one. There's no man, there's no soft man who's going to listen to this one sermon. It all of a sudden become a strong, hard man that supports his family and raises his children properly. You say, well, what's the point of this sermon?  They need to be taught this from a young age. As a matter of fact, most, most soft men that I've met did not have fathers that were teaching them these types of things. They were not being raised by other hard men to teach them how to be hard men, how to be strong men, how to be men that can endure hardness, which is what it will take to provide and support a family. Look at Proverbs chapter 13. You know, these boys, these boys that we're raising, they will become men. They will become men one day, and they need to be strong men. Look at Proverbs 13 verse 24. Notice how this is pointed at, not to say that, that disciplining the children is, is purely the father's role, but look, he's to lead that role. He's to be the leader in that department. Look what it says in verse 24. It says, he, talking to the man, he that spareth his rod, hateeth his son. Look, you better take the Bible literally.  But he that loveeth him, chaseneth him be times. So the Bible here is saying, like, is that, is that what we're taught today? Aren't we taught, aren't we taught that it's mean to discipline your children?  Isn't that what the world is teaching today, all these, these alternative parenting philosophies? No, the Bible says that if you don't, if you don't discipline your children, specifically talking about physically disciplining them, spanking, look, we're not talking about beating your kids. We're talking about spanking your children on the bottom, where God designed them to be spanked and, and chastising them, and raising them properly. It says that you don't do that, you hate them. Why? Because then they're gonna be these soft, no self-controlled children that are gonna get off into sin, will never be able to support a family. Yeah, there's nothing I could, I could do that's something I, someone I hated then to ruin their whole life. To make it to where they couldn't raise successful children themselves. Better take the Bible literally, the Bible literally says, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if, so this is a man who's like, oh, I can't spank my son because I feel bad. The Bible says you hate him. And if you feel that way, you're soft. You're not hard. And you don't love your children. You're like, man, this is, this is hard to hear. It's because you're soft. That's why it's hard for you to hear if that's the way you're thinking. You need to just listen to what the Bible says and just, and just take that for what it is. All right. This is the father's role. These boys need to be raised to be tough as well. Look, I raise my boys different than I raise my daughter. Shocking. Why? Because they're different. Because they have different roles. Because they're gonna have different roles in a family. This is, you know, this is the boy. This is the boy. This is, even society knows this is the father's role.  That's where that comes from. Because it's the father's role to, you know, make sure that his boys are tough. Are not weak. They're not soft. You know, I was, it was so perfect for this sermon. I was in my backyard, putting a motor back together on Friday night for like two and a half hours. And I kind of, I kind of work when I'm working on this, I'm kind of in an elevated position so I can hear what's going on over the fence and other people's yards. And I heard this dad in his yard, like a couple houses over, because I can kind of hear over the fence. And his dad's in his yard. And he's just, I mean, if you just listened to it and didn't listen to the words you just hear, this dad is barking. Just barking at these two kids. And there's, he must have had two or three boys out there. And he had, I figured out he'd given them a job. They were doing like some kind of deep cleaning project on their backyard. And this dad is just constantly just barking at these kids. He's like, no, he's like, no, you gotta, you're not done. You gotta go over there. And he's like, they, and I figured out that he must have sectioned off the yards and each, each kid had their own section. And it's just constant. He's just like, hey, you missed a spot over here. You missed a spot over here.  You see how I got all my corners cleaned out. And he's just like, and he's, he's speaking to them in a very firm voice. And then over and over again, he's like, he's like, and he must have been paying them for this job, which I'm not against by the way.  But look, I expect it to be done right. And this, his dad is talking to these kids, and these kids must have been six, seven, eight years old, young kids. And he's constantly, he must have said this 10 times.  Get back over here. Are you done? And I'm just, I'm listening to this. And I'm like, is this me over there? I'm like, it was weird to me. I'm like, is this me?  You can't do this.  These kids are seven. You don't know a job like this, you're going to be fired. You're going to be living under a bridge. And I'm just like, it's me over there. It's me.  You need to look, and I'm just like, I'm like, this is great. And the mom comes out, and it was even perfect because it was such a great example. The mom comes out, she doesn't know if they're doing a good job or a bad job. She comes out, you guys are doing great. Just hurry and finish up and we'll go get some ice cream. And he's like, and the dad's like, he's like, honey, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get him to finish up here. And we, yeah, that's great, but he's, he's trying to like, organize the job and get him done. And here the mom comes in, she's good cop, right? She's coming in and just, oh, you guys are doing great. She doesn't know if they're doing great. But this is the different roles that God has designed. It was perfect. It was perfect. Those boys need that. I'm thinking to myself, these boys have a chance. That's what I'm thinking to myself.  As long as they are under that dad, they're going to be fine. And there's their mom. We'll talk about the moms next week. There's their mom just positively reinforcing them and just kind of being that, you know, the dad will tear them down a little bit, for sure.  It's perfect. It's perfect. But here's the point I'm trying to get at. Turn to Ephesians chapter 5 and we'll get off at this point. Here's the point I'm trying to get at. These boys are going to grow up to be men. And if they're going to grow up to be hard men that can endure hardness, that needs to be taught from a young age.  And regardless of what your feelings are, you're like, well, you know, I was kind of raised soft. Well, don't raise your kids soft. You know, cut that out on this generation going forward. So that's the first thing. That's the second thing. We're to look like men. We're to act like men. Like I said, we're to raise our children to endure hardness. Men are to be hard. They're to provide for their family. This is a difficult thing to do. Providing for a family, paying bills, trying to keep everything above water, you know, doing a family budget, worrying about finances. This is your job, the Bible says. This is your job. Turn to Ephesians chapter 5. Looking deeper into this, the man is the head of the household. So we see a man is to look like a man. A man is to act like a man. A man is to actually be a biblical man, is to be a hard man, a tough man, a person that is strong, the Bible says, again and again in his faith that leads his family with strength, raises his children with strength. Look at Ephesians chapter 5. Look at verse number 22. We're going to focus on verse 22 through 24 next week mainly, but this is really not popular today. Let me just say that. Wives, submit yourself under your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife. Even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body. Therefore, as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wise be subject unto their husbands in most things. No, in everything the Bible says. Now look at verse number 25. So the husband, this is how important it is, husbands, that you get this correct. Because if you don't get this correct, everybody goes down with you. That's the difference between the husband and the wife. The husband's the head, so if the head fails, the whole thing falls apart. Look at verse 25. The Bible says, husbands, now it gives detail so the husbands are all now, the men are all like, yeah, I'm in charge. But the Bible gives you specific direction on how to be in charge. So yes, you're in charge in everything. Your wife is to submit to you in everything. The Bible is very clear about that. Look at verse 25 though. So how do we do that? What does that mean? Husbands, love your wives. How? I love my wife. I love my wife. I'll tell her that right now. I love you. No, but look at it. Look what it says. It tells us how to do it. Even as Christ also loved the church, how did he do that? And gave himself for it. Look at the next verse. That he might sanctify and cleanse it through the washing of water by the word. That he might present it to himself, a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing. But that it should be holy and without blemish. This is, you can apply this to the spiritual leadership of your home. You know, you are to spiritually lead your home so it can be pure. It can be without blemish. It's your responsibility to spiritually guard your home, to spiritually lead your home and everyone in it. Look at verse 28 though. It says, so ought men to love their wives, look at this, as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. So let me point out a couple things here. The Bible says that, yes, the husband is in charge of the home. For sure. There's some complicated things in the Bible. This is not one of them. It is very clear. The husband is to be head of the household, head of the family, head of his wife. But it says he is to do it in a sacrificial way. In verse number 25, the man is to sacrifice for her. How? How? As Christ sacrificed for us. Look Christ, up to what? Christ gave everything for us. There was nothing held back. So what the Bible says is that by being in charge, you tell me if you still want to be in charge after this sermon. The Bible says being in charge says that you will be a sacrificial leader up to and including your own life. I mean, it says it in another way. It says her body is to be like your body. So think about it this way. Like if a car is like barreling down on you, are you just going to be like stand there and let the car hit you? No, you're going to jump out of the way.  The Bible says, and it says just a couple verses later that you were as one flesh to kind of back that up. The Bible says that when it comes down to somebody being threatened or somebody being, you know, put in a situation where it's life or death, it's you that dives. That's what the Bible was saying here. You're like, oh man, you know, you look at these young men that want to get married and you still want to get married. I thought I was just going to be in charge. That's what it means. It means that it's you. The kids just read a story or Jacob just read a story, this historical story about this ship. I think this ship was in the 1840s. It was called the SS Arctic. And this ship, it actually was like, it had like 400 plus people on board. It had 400 people on board. It was sailing on the ocean somewhere outside of the Netherlands. And it collided in the fog with another ship. And it got a hole punched in its hole. And this SS Arctic was sinking. There was 400 people on board. Only 88 people survived. Only 88 people survived. You say, what's the big deal with this story? There's lots of shipwreck stories.  Try to make you not want to ever go on the ocean. But there's so many shipwreck stories, but this was a unique shipwreck story. There was 400 people on board, only 88 survived. And all of the people that died were women and children. There was not a single woman and child, let me say this differently. There was not a single woman or child that survived. Because all the men, mostly crew members, stole all the lifeboats and took off on their own. This is the opposite of what the Bible teaches.  Have you ever heard of the idea that captain goes down with the ship? This is the philosophy we're talking about in Ephesians chapter five. I mean, it's a maritime tradition. I mean, it was made famous by Edward Smith, I think, from the Titanic, where, you know, the ship sank and the captain, he died with the ship. You know, because the idea is that unless every single soul on the ship can get off, the idea is the captain will be the last one to leave. The captain will be the last one in the lifeboat. This is a biblical tradition. This is Bible-based. Unless every single person on that vessel can get into a lifeboat and the captain can be the last foot that steps off onto a lifeboat, the captain dies. This is Ephesians chapter five. This is the leadership that a husband is supposed to have. It is a sacrificial leadership. And you say, you know, I just don't know. You say maybe somebody listening to this is not married. But look, even before you're married, this is something you should think about as a man. This is something you should think about as a man because if you say, and this is something you should think about as a married man, as a married man. If I get in a situation where I have to, you know, put myself in front of something, look, it's a natural thing to a normal man, in my opinion. But it is something that you should think about, you know, are you willing to defend your family? Are you willing to sacrifice? I mean, look, time, resources, anything up to and including your life for your family. Are you willing to do that? And if you're some single guy and you're like a young guy listening to this and you say, you know, I don't know. I don't know if I can do that. Then here's the thing. You should stay single. You should not get married because you will not be able to live up to this type of leadership. Often think about this when it comes to like, my wife and I will talk a lot and when we see things we'll be like, yeah, common courtesy is dead. Whenever I see like, you know, a man, like here's a big one that just irritates me.   But those, I mean, I think to myself, maybe I'm being extreme, but I always think to myself because this is common courtesy. You know, you'll see things where you'll see a man budget trying to get in front of a line in front of it. It doesn't matter who.  But often I think like, those are going to be the first guys into the lifeboats right there. Those are going to be the guys that steal the lifeboats from the women and children.  Don't do that to anybody because you wouldn't fit into the biblical requirement of God, what God expects of this role. Turn to Proverbs chapter 20. Turn to Proverbs chapter, look, it's a big responsibility. I get it. If you're listening to this, you're like, this is a big responsibility. Whether you're married hearing this, whether you're single hearing this, this is a big responsibility. It's huge. Everything rises and falls on leadership. Look at Proverbs chapter 20. What's the next one? What's the next one?  You should lead your home in a sacrificial way. You should be a sacrificial leader. This is what Jesus was.  And that may take, it will take sacrifice. When there's not enough food, you don't eat. When there's not enough of anything, you are the last one. You don't get it. Proverbs chapter 20, look at verse number six. Proverbs chapter 20 verse number six. Here's the next one. A man should be faithful. A biblical man, a characteristic of a biblical man should be faithful. Now this is a really sad verse in the Bible. This is a really sad verse in the Bible. Look at Proverbs 20 verse number six. It says, most men will proclaim everyone his own goodness. This is what you see, most men. But a faithful man who can find, that's a sad verse. That's a sad verse in the Bible. Why? Because the Bible says that most men, the vast majority of men will tell you how great they are. But a faithful man can't find one. Ecclesiastes chapter 7 verse 28, Solomon says it's one in a thousand. Solomon says one in a thousand are a good man, basically is what he's saying in that verse. Look, it is the vast minority of men that fit this bill in Proverbs chapter 20 verse number six. So if you're listening to this sermon and you're like, I don't fit, most men don't. Most men don't. What does it mean? Be faithful. It means trustworthy. It means trustworthy. It means someone that can be, look, and look, I understand that this applies to men and women. But please, every man within the sound of my voice, please listen to me. Please listen to me. This applies to men and women being faithful, being trustworthy. This faithfulness in Proverbs chapter 20 in verse number six will make you or break you in your life. And guess what? It'll make or break your family. It'll make or break your wife. It'll make or break your children. Are you somebody that can be relied on? Are you somebody, like, look, when you say something as a man, does it mean anything? This is what this is talking about. This will define you, look, good or bad. It'll define you as a man. Think about the announcements that I go through every single service. And I say, Sunday morning service, 1030, Sunday evening service, 5 p.m. Wednesday evening Bible study, 7 p.m. What if I went through those announcements every single, every single service? And then I showed up to 90% of the services. I got the majority of them. Every single person that you know in a leadership position has this right. That wouldn't work at all. If you came to church and you're like, I wonder if Pastor Jared's going to show up today. Wouldn't that be great if the pastor showed up? This place would crumble. This place would fail. Now think about your families. Think about being a faithful man. This will define you as a man. Proverbs 20 verse number six will define you. It'll define your work. It'll define your career. When your boss tells you something, when he tells you something the first time, does he know it will be done? You know what? Showing up late to work is a failure here. It is a failure of Proverbs. You will not be looked at as a faithful person if you're late to work. Yeah, the Bible gets down to that kind of detail. Can you be relied on? One thing I always told the kids. One thing I always told the kids, we'd be working on stuff and I'd send them out to get a tool. I'd send them to get a tool and they'd come back 20 minutes later and they'd say I couldn't find it. I'd say don't you ever come back here without the tool? Every single one of my boys have heard me say this a thousand times.  I said don't you ever come back without the tool? Well I couldn't find it. What am I supposed to do? Let me find you looking.  Don't you ever come back without the tool? Why? Because then you'll just be seen as somebody that can't get it done. You'll be seen as somebody that's not reliable. You say that's hard. That's the way they need to be raised. If they're going to be successful, if they're going to be able to stand up. It's a tool. If they're going to be able to stand up for their Christian faith, they're going to need that strength. They're going to need that hardness. These small lessons are what build men and that's what you have to understand. Talking about faithfulness. How about to your family? How about to your wife? You're leading your wife. Does your wife, can she count on you? Can she count on you? Turn to Matthew chapter 5. Does she have comfort in your leadership? Guess what? I don't know everything about your marriage but I know this. You're going to go through hard times in your marriage. You're going to go through hard times in your life. You're going to go hard. I don't know if that's financial. I don't know if that's emotional. Maybe your wife's going through something. Maybe you're going through something. You're going to go through hard times in your marriage. If you're married to somebody for decades, you're going to go through difficult times. Does your wife have comfort in your leadership? Does she know when things are going hard, when there's threats against your family, whatever, does she know my husband has this under control? Does she have that faithfulness in you? Does she have that faith in you? If she doesn't, it's because you're not a faithful man. It's because you're not a trustworthy person. Because when you say you're going to do something or you have these responsibilities, you don't follow through on things. That's why people don't have trust in you. Go to Matthew chapter 5. Look at verse number 27. Jesus, these are red words in your red letter Bible. Jesus says, you have heard that it was said by them of old time, thou shalt not commit adultery.  I got that. I got that. That's an easy one. But then look what Jesus says in verse number 28. But I say unto you, these who ever looked on to woman till lust after earth committed adultery with their already in his heart. Look, this is where men are under serious attack today.  Look, the Bible never defines half naked or naked. The Bible says if these parts of your body are uncovered, you're naked. There's naked people everywhere. There's all kinds of smut that's just readily available to every man. The Bible says that you should be faithful to your wife. You should not be even looking upon these things.    You should sacrifice your fleshly desires for her. She should be yours. You should be hers. And this, look, this will, this is being a faithful husband. This is being a faithful husband. It's not just being a man of your word. Go back to Proverbs 20. I should have told you to keep your place there. Proverbs 20 and verse number six. It's not just being trustworthy. It's not just being, but, but that is a part of trustworthiness. Imagine the wife who has to worry about her husband just like, just looking at everything he shouldn't be looking at. It's not, you will not be known as a faithful leader. It will affect your marriage. It will affect your wife. She will lose faith in you and she needs, look, she needs that comfort that you will not only take care of her. You will not only provide for her, but you will be faithful to her even in what your eyes see. Look at verse number seven. It's interesting that verse number seven is right after verse number six. We're talking about how in verse number six it's talking about how, you know, every man, look see in verse number six is such a great verse because it says every man like proclaims how good he is. So like you have all these men who are basically living in a false reality. They're basically like, they think they're great and they're not because there's, there's no faithful man. There's like a faithful man who can find, but look if you are a faithful man, look at verse number seven. We see this word integrity used here. The just man walketh in his integrity. Now we're getting the, the opposite. It's like, there's no faithful man. What's the opposite of that? The just man walks in integrity. The Bible says, but look at this blessing. Look at this. You say, why deny myself? Why do all this? Look at this huge promise. The man who is faithful, the man who decides, you know what? I'm going to be that minority. I'm going to be a faithful man. I'm going to be a sacrificial leader. I am going to deny myself in all these areas. My kids come first. My wife comes first.  Anything and everything up to and including watching my kids get into a lifeboat. My wife getting into a lifeboat, waving goodbye up into including my life. I will be that type of leader. Look what the Bible says. In verse number seven, his children are blessed after him. The man who does this will have blessed children. Do you need more motivation than that? I'll often ask people out soul winning after they get saved. I'll ask people that question, like, do you care about your kids? I spent the last 30 minutes telling them about how their works don't matter to get themselves to heaven and how, you know, what they do in their life and how good they are is not going to get them to heaven. But then I'll say, hey, here's where your works do matter. Do you care about your children? I've never ever had one person ever that had kids say, I don't care about my children. Walk in integrity. And the Bible says your children will be blessed after you. What do you need? Now, what does that imply about the man with no integrity? What does that imply about the man that is not a faithful man? If the man who is faithful has his children blessed after him, what does that imply about the man that's not? Which is why, which you now wondering why we see so many kids going in the wrong direction today? Majority of men are not faithful. Why are all these kids gone wrong? Because a majority of men are not faithful. That's why. That's it. The Bible is very simple, folks. The Bible has all the answers. You may not like the answer, but the Bible has all the answers. Now look, folks, this isn't a comprehensive list. I just wanted to spark some biblical thought in the men this morning. Let me just say this last thing. These biblical characteristics, in order to be successful at these biblical characteristics in your life, I just read a book on, I wouldn't recommend the book, but I just read a book on something called ownership. The book was called Extreme Ownership. And I don't recommend the book. I don't even know why I read it. It came across my feet on Audible, so I figured I'd read this book. But it was, I mean, the principles in the book are biblical. The principles are just like, as a leader, you must own your biblical role. You must take ownership of that. You know what's the opposite? What do you mean ownership? Here's the opposite of ownership. The opposite of ownership is excuses. The opposite of ownership is blaming other people. I, my marriage didn't work. My marriage didn't work because my wife was wicked. My marriage didn't work because this and that and this and that. Every single divorce here, listen to this one. Every single divorce is the man's fault. Why? The ship sank. He's the captain. At the very least, he married the wrong person.  That's, that's the bottom line. I'm not saying that there's not fault on the other side of that equation, but this whole idea like, it was, it was my wife and my kids that were all messed up. No, it was your fault. You're in charge. You're the leader. You must embrace this. You must own it. You must embrace these characteristics. They're uncomfortable. They're hard. They're difficult. They're not, it's not, look, if it was easy, everybody would do it. If it was easy, everybody'd be doing it right out there. If it was easy to be a faithful man, there'd be a faithful man everywhere, but it's not easy and everybody wants to take the easy road. You know what's easy?  That's easy. But to be a faithful man takes strength. It takes hardness. To look different than everybody else around you takes strength, takes hardness. To make sure that your family is not, you know, part of wickedness, to make sure wickedness doesn't come into your home, to run a biblical, scriptural family takes strength. And you are the leader. Own it. It's a big responsibility. It's a big responsibility. So look, men and women are to be different. They're to have different roles and these roles complement each other. I hope you see that with next week's sermon, you know, particularly in the family, particularly in the family with the raising of children. That guy in that backyard was a perfect example of this, right? It's protection of the family unit. It's protection of the church. Men are to lead the church as well. Next week we'll focus on the ladies. So the men got beat up today. Go a little easier on the ladies because they're ladies and those roles are different. All right. But look, the roles are different. Everything we're being taught on this today. Look, I'm not going to say everything we're being taught on this today is a lie because it is, but it's everything we're being taught on it today.  It would be funny if it wasn't if they weren't serious about these things. But it's absolutely crazy. So we'll talk about characteristics of a biblical woman next. Let's bow our heads and have a word of