Welcome. I'm calling to order this meeting of the Arlington Select Board on Monday, November 21st, 2022. I am select board chair, Leonard Diggins, and I will now confirm that all members and persons anticipated on the agenda are present and can hear me. Members, when I call your name, please respond in the affirmative. John Hurd? Yes. Steve DeCorsi? Yes. Eric Helmuth? Yes. And select board vice chair, Thayam Mahan will not be joining us tonight. Staff, when I call your name, please respond in the affirmative. Sandy Poehler? Yes. Doug Heim? Yes. Ashley Meyer? Yes. Tonight's meeting of the Arlington Select Board is being conducted in a hybrid format consistent with Chapter 107 of the Acts of 2022, signed into law on July 17, 2022, which further extends certain COVID-19 measures regarding remote participation until March 31, 2023. Before we begin, please note the following. First, this meeting is being conducted via Zoom. It is being recorded and is also being simultaneously broadcast on ACMI. Second, persons wishing to join the meeting by Zoom may find information on how to do so on the town's website. Persons participating by Zoom are reminded that you may be visible to others and that if you wish to participate, you are asked to provide your full name in the interest of developing a record of the meeting. Third, all participants are advised that people may be listening who do not provide comment, and those persons are not required to identify themselves. Both Zoom participants and persons watching on ACMI can follow the posted agenda materials also found on the town's website using those in the platform. And finally, each vote tonight will be taken by roll call. So let's see how much of the town's business we can get done this evening. And we will now turn to item number two on this agenda, which is the consent agenda, which includes meetings of the meeting, minutes of the meeting for October 24, 2022, and a request for a special one-day beer and wine license on November 26th at Robinson Memorial Town Hall for a private event by Patrick Curran. Move approval. Second. So on a motion to approve by Mr. Corsi and second by Mr. Hurd. Discussion? All right. Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hurd? Yes. Mr. Corsi? Yes. Mr. Helman? Yes. Mr. Diggins? Yes. All right. Now we move on to a public hearing. The first item at this point essentially will be included as a page in the discussion and vote on the property tax classification tax rate. And so we'll turn to Mary Stanley Connor and chair of the board of assessors. Good evening, Mr. Chairman, members of the board of selectmen and Mr. Tom Manager. On behalf, I'm here on behalf of the board of assessors and with me I'd like to introduce the other members of the board of assessors. Mr. Zagata, Gordon Jamison, the vice chair of the board of assessors. And we have Mr. Mann who will actually, the director of assessments who will actually present the classification information to you to make a determination. But before I do so, I just want to say that Mr. Mann who is the new director of the board of assessors has done a very good job this year. There are three other members in the department. As the select board may very well know, the board of assessors, that department, the assessing department is one of the smallest group of employees with one of the biggest tasks and important tasks on behalf of this town. And they do it efficiently. And they do it every year. We have never had a late classification hearing or a late tax bill go out in this town. I also want to thank my colleagues on the board of assessors. Mr. Zagata is, as you know, an appraiser and he brings that to the board of assessors. Mr. Jamison is very well versed in finance and in the workings of town government. He brings that and I'm an attorney. So it's a very well balanced board of assessors I would suggest to you. And I'd like to introduce Mr. Mann who will present to you the classification report. So Dana. Thank you, Mary. Good evening. Sorry, I'm just going to ask you to point the microphone up to you. Thank you. Appreciate it. It helps ACMI. Thanks. And good evening, staff. The purpose of this hearing is for the board of assessors to provide information to the board of selectmen regarding the tax rate options that are available to the town under the classification, under property tax classification. There will be votes to determine the share of the levy to be borne by each class of property. You all have a booklet. The booklet is numbered these days, which is different from the past. Hopefully that makes it easier for you all. We can start on page one, which is essentially an overview of the information that goes into the tax rate. So we start with the previous year's tax levy limit of 130,000, 879,853. We add to that the proposition 2.5 rate amount of $3,271,996. We add to that amount the new growth for 2023 in the amount of $1,205,059. That creates a levy limit of $135,356,908. Moving along, the levy limit is then added, or I should say the school debt exclusion, which is outside of proposition 2.5 voted at town meeting. The amount is $13,848,434, and that gives us a maximum total to be raised of $149,205,342. So to calculate the tax rate, we take the amount to be raised of $149,169,849, and we divide that by the total taxable assessed value of $13,306,855,407. Multiplied by $1,000, we get the tax rate of $11.21. The excess levy is $35,493. And please feel free to stop me as we go along. I'm happy to answer any questions. So beginning on page 2, and also continued on page 3 and 4, is what is allowed for in terms of a shift in tax levy from the commercial, industrial, and personal property, actually the other way around, from the residential and open space classes to the commercial, industrial, and personal property classes. So on page 2, you can see that the current make-up or percentage of the classes in column D, we have the residential class at 94.5277%. The commercial entities, including the industrial and personal property, make up 5.4723%. The DOR has then provided for us calculations to determine what's called a residential factor, a minimum residential factor. We are only allowed to move that shift by a certain amount. And if you turn to page 4, the percentage amount of the shift can be no more than 8.2085%. Now what does that mean? On page 5, we have some more informative information. So the top line, is everyone there? Page 5, the top line or 100% on the left side would equate to the CIP percentage that we talked about of 5.4723%. The residential and open space year would be 94.5277%. This would be a factor of one, meaning no shift. That would create an interest rate of 11.21% for all classes. I'm sorry, thank you tax rate. If we were to shift 5% of that available amount to be shifted, we can see in the next column that the CIP share would go up to 5.7459%. The residential and open space share would go to 94.2541%. The tax rate for the commercial, industrial and personal property would go to $11.77. Correspondingly, the residential and open space tax rate would go down $0.03 to $11.18. Now in terms of taxes, what that would mean is the CIP, commercial, industrial and personal property, their taxes would increase $280. While the residential and open space tax amount would go down $16.22. So we see that there's a difference based on the ratio of commercial to residential property. And I have taken the liberty of running those numbers in 5% increments up to the maximum allowable that 8.2085%. So we can see in the last example, or the maximum amount of shift, the tax rate for the commercial, industrial and personal property would be $16.82. The residential rate would be $10.89. And the tax amount, the increase for commercial, industrial and personal property would be $2,803. And the residential and open space would have a discount of $162. Any questions regarding tax rate shift? So within the classification options that are available, spelled out by the DOR, the first is the residential exemption. This would allow for a shift within the residential class up to 35% of the average residential value from lower-valued properties and moving that burden to higher-valued properties. So up above, there's a chart there. We start on the left-hand side. We see the residential average assessment is $849,335. That's all residential property, including zero-lots land. And we have a total number of parcels of 14,810 in the residential class. So the top line would represent no residential exemption. So we see that the residential assessment total is $12,578,000. I'm sorry, $578,665,911. The levy for the residential class is $141,6,845. The tax rate would be $11.21. As we apply the discount, so the second line represents a 20% reduction for the residential exemption. We've estimated the eligible accounts at $13,047. We multiply 20% of that residential average assessment by the total eligible accounts, and we get a total value exempted. That's $2,216,254,749. So that would be discounted or reduced from the total residential value to get a new total residential value of $10,362,411,162. The levy stays the same. That's the important part. The levy does not change. That would indicate a tax rate or change the tax rate to $13.61. And you see I've laid out some variations in the percentage. So the breakeven point, meaning the value of the home that would see neither an increase nor a decrease is $963,287, which is approximately $40,000 over the average single-family home, just to give you some reference there. However, it would leave approximately 17% of the remaining parcels to shoulder the additional weight of the discount, because the levy does not change. And obviously, most homes in Ireland in our own are occupied. Along with that, I would note that we see a lot more trusts, ownership trusts that may impact this eligibility. So you may have a resident who qualifies as being a homeowner who lives in Ireland. However, if they were to put their home in a trust and did not have both a beneficial and an ownership interest, that trust would not qualify, something to consider. Any questions on the residential exemption? This may not be the kind of question you can answer, and that's fine. Would the 70% mean shouldering an extra burden, would they most likely be houses that were purchased more recently? So they would be higher... I'm sorry. They would be higher-value homes, which would include more recent purchases, because values have been going up. So yes. All right, thanks. Okay. So on page 7 is the history of tax rates in Arlington. And we can see that historically, the town has chosen a single tax rate. If there had been a shift here, it would be noted. Okay. On page 8, if there's no questions, I'll move along. What we have here is the actual classification report. This comes right out of the DOR website after we enter the totals from our camera system. And so it shows you the values in each class of property. Does anyone have any questions on the... I'm sorry, I don't have a very good description, because this comes out of the DOR. But on the left-hand side of the property types, and just to the right of that, we have the parcel counts within that classification, and we have the values. And at the bottom we have totals for the major classes. The next page, page 9. Yes, page 9. This is the tax-based levy growth. So this describes where the growth came from within the classifications within the categories. It also indicates the amount of abatements by class. So you can see the total residential abatement amount, and there was a significant abatement in the 111 class, which is the apartment class. And then we have a total. We have the commercial abatement numbers and the total. And we have the growth and we have the total. And so you can see that the growth total amount, that $1,205,059 is in the lower right-hand corner. And on page 10, this is what we call the comparison report. So this provides some good information year over year. So we see that in the 101 class, which is the single-family class, we have a count, a parcel count of 8,008. That's down one from the previous year. And you can see the assessment, the assessed value in that category is up 8% for a total assessment of $7,306,385,400. And here we have, to the far right in that column, we have the previous year average single-family assessment of $844,658. And moving down through the classes, we see there's some personal property. We do see some growth. We see a reduction in the 501 class of personal property, which would be sole proprietorships and partnerships, relatively smaller personal property accounts, where we did lose some parcels. But overall, in the personal property category, we end up up almost 10%. Just you can see from the commercial and industrial that those are negatives. Just for ACMI, they won't... The commercial and industrial numbers are negative. We found that the values in Arlington are in the residential properties. And the commercial and industrial have not kept anywhere in their pace with the increases in values. Thanks. Okay. So moving down to the major classes, in terms of percentage increase or decrease, we see the residential class is up 6.55%. And this is in value. And yes, we have some declines in commercial and industrial. And there's that 10.93% growth in personal property. And we can see up above that, that the majority of that is in utility classes of personal property. And so we have grand totals. We have the 15,865 parcels in town. Any questions on... Okay. Moving along. The tax rate component page... I believe that's page 11. This compares essentially the levy components from year to year. So we can see how the tax rate was built here. We start with a base levy of $9.83 per thousand. We add to that the 2.5% or 25 cents. And we add... This year I do want to point out that there's no water and sewer debt exclusion, which would add to the levy. We see the school debt exclusion. And we see the cost of that $1.04 on the tax rate. And that all adds up to the $11.21. Below that we have the actual numbers. So the levy increase percentage, I think is an important number. We see that in the middle of the page at 3.31%. Okay. Total taxable assessed value down towards the bottom of the page. We see that the total value of the town has increased to $13,306,855,407. Now here is where we have the average single family home. And we compare that year over year. So the new assessed value of the single family home is $912,385. And that is an increase in taxes of $582 year over year. And the last page, page 12, indicates given all that, when compared to our, to other towns in our vicinity, we see that the tax rate is still significantly lower than Belmont, Winchester, and Lexington. And I apologize. I was not yet able to collect their information for this year. This document resides on the assessor's web page, and it'll be updated. Any questions? Thank you for this. Thank you for the excellent preparation of this. And thank you all for your work and to your staff as well. As you say, as the chair said, it's not a big department, but it sure carries punches way above its weight in the importance of what you're doing. Can you remind me, and perhaps those watching, if I see that we demonstrate that we've had a single tax rate in prior years, is the same true for the residential exemption? Yes, we have not had a residential exemption voted for. So any further questions? So what I would ask the board to vote is what's called a factor of one, which would mean no shift, would mean no residential exemption. We technically have the option of what's called an open space discount, but we have no properties classified as open space, so that's new. There is a small business exemption that would allow for up to 10% reduced from businesses that have less than 10 employees, and the property is valued at $101 million or less. However, one of the issues we find with that is the discount would go to the property owner and not the small business. So I would ask a vote of a factor of one excluding a residential exemption, excluding the small business discount, excluding the open space discount. Do you want to see if this is public comment before we take a motion? Yeah, because it is definitely a hearing that I appreciate that. No, thanks for that. I just want to confirm. The Board of Assessors takes no position on classification. We just present, I think Mr. Mann is looking just for the vote, we take no position on classification. It is your decision. No, what your vote is going to be so that we can submit to DOR. I appreciate that. We always take into account your wise counsel. Yes, yes. So yeah, and so I may have some questions, but why don't we go to the public to see if there are any questions or comments? At this time there are no hands raised. Okay, great. Thank you. So that's Mr. Heard. Thank you for the presentation and all the work. With the amount of properties and what not that you have to go through to put this together, my brain doesn't even want to grasp the amount of work that it takes to put this together. I always find this to be our yearly reminder why we can't have residential exemption and why we can't have a split tax rate just because that 95% residential number just makes it incredibly unfeasible but it's also good to look at the numbers that we have as we're coming up on some tough decisions about what we do about our tax rate in the next year or two. And to show, again, we talked about this in our last meeting, that the only really way to absorb some of the impact of overrides from year to year under proposition two and a half is to find a way to create new growth. The only place that we have room for new growth in this town is in the residential area. So just food for thought as we come up on some projects or proposals that will come before not necessarily this board but other town committees as it's particularly in the realm of affordable housing. So, let's see if I can get this right. I make a motion to adopt a factor of one which would include both the residential and commercial and industrial. Which would not include? Well, so I'm saying at $11.21 as suggested. So every tax rate set at $11.21 without a residential exemption and without a separate tax rate for commercial, industrial, and personal property. And again, thank you for the presentation. It's, interestingly, you look forward to this meeting every year. I don't know why, but it feels like this information that usually Mr. Jameson's on the other side of the Zoom screen, but to have you here in person. But again, thank you for the presentation. And that's it. Thank you, Mr. Chairman. I'll second Mr. Herd's motion and want to thank that it's nice to have all of the board, members of the Board of Assessors here this evening. Thank you for coming to the hearing. Thank you, Mr. Mann, for the presentation. I find this report and the information in it to really be fascinating how it ties in to what we're doing as a community in terms of how important tax lobby growth is and what a high percentage it is for the community and how important the role of the assessors when you consider board of assessors and the director of assessing. When you consider how much value and that exercise that needs to take place every year. Just have a few comments and maybe a couple questions. But one of the things, and thank you for taking the time, Mr. Mann, too, for going through this. I think it's helpful for the public. And this is going to be, I believe, on the assessors website, as you said. As you mentioned, we're not shifting any debt this year for the first time to the, from water and soar on to the real estate tax. And at page 11 of your analysis, the tax rate components, you can see what that effect was. Back in fiscal 2019, that was 58 cents on the, 58 cents of the total tax rate. And at the time, what we said is we know there was going to be more debt coming on for the schools because of the high school in Minuteman and that by taking the debt off water and soar and sending it back to the water and soar bills, we can absorb the school debt. And you can see that 58 cents is now gone. Happy to say we won't have a vote to shift any debt to zero. The school debt exclusion has gone from 43 cents to a dollar four. That's a 61 cent increase. It almost is a direct wash over this time period. And that's exactly what we had talked about doing and was recommended to us to do so. I'm pleased that we were able to do that with recommendations from the town manager and from various parties. The other thing I would say when you look at the number of exempt parcels, and this is always something with water and soar, I believe the number of exempt parcels have increased from 857 to 861 between fiscal 2022 and 2023. And that was always one area. The exempt organizations pay water bills. They don't pay real estate taxes. So by bringing it back to them, they are paying for water and soar and still getting the exemption for taxes. Another comment and then a couple of questions. The LA-13 information is helpful in terms of what the growth was in the community in this past year, according to your report, which I imagine has already been submitted to DOR. There's $105 million in new growth across the community. And maybe as we go forward, there's a lot of projects. That number goes up. That's great, but we don't tell you what to do on that. It's your job to determine it every year, but that's where you really see that $1.2 million that is generated by new growth. That's outside of Proposition 2.5. It becomes part of the base next year. So growth is a good thing for communities if it's responsible. One question for you, and this is maybe more assessment administration, but I've received a few inquiries lately in terms of tax deferral for people who may qualify. Do you have any information on the number of property owners that may be seeking that tax deferral option? Yes, I do. The number is relatively small. The number is 16 properties that have entered into agreement to defer taxes. So it is a yearly application. Those properties do have to reapply each year, but we do have two new applications this year that we've processed. All right. Thank you. I say a couple. I might have one or two more comments, but I really get into this stuff. Looking at the tax rate table, also pleased to see this looks like the ninth year in a row that our tax rate is going down, which suggests that values, we're going to get the 2.5% increase, but the values continue to increase and that offsets or allows the rate to come down a little bit. So yes, as values increase, the tax rate will go down and we've had a significant period of residential values raising quite rapidly. All right. And I think that's all I have. I appreciate the time you took this evening and just for the public's benefit. We talk about this every year. There's a lot of information that we receive, but this again, this separation of duties, if you will, we're here tonight as you asked us and as Mr. Herd made the motion, we set the policy in terms of the rate and who bears the burden of the taxes and that's really the extent of our job, your evaluation, exemptions, abatements, treasurer's collection, and that's our role here. So thank you again for the time. Very nice job. Thanks. And then you can stay. I just have some curiosity questions. So you compared us to three other communities. Why those three? You know, it's historical. These three properties go back at least a dozen years in this booklet. So I don't think it was a matter of selection but a matter of continuation. I just know two things. One, these are the towns that are adjacent to us and our towns as opposed to the two cities that are adjacent to us. We also do a comparison of these tax rates with the so-called town manager 12 that you've seen and we publish that every year in March in the town manager's financial plan so you can see how we compare to the communities that we look at in terms of collective bargaining and so forth, but in terms of purely property issues, it's just looking at this plot of earth and other towns around us, how do these compare? Yeah, and I ask because I mean, the rates mean, and by that I actually mean, the average mean that the property owners of Payne are so different. I was just wondering if there was anything that popped out that made them different. And here's a technical kind of wonky question. That average, is it the mean, median? So no, that would be the average of all of the property in the residential class, what their actual tax amount would be. So it's essentially the average single-family home multiplied by the tax rate. Got it, thanks. And here's the real curiosity question. So there are these several categories for personal property and I think I know what that is. But just if you could give me like an example of what would be personal property and one or two of those categories, it would confirm whether or not I know what it, whether what I'm thinking is right. Sure. So as I mentioned, the 501 class is sole proprietorships and partnerships. The 502 is business corporations. The 503 are manufacturing properties. And then we get into the utilities, which can be pipes, underground pipes, and poles, telegraph poles. And then 508, we have cellular technology. Great, got it. And so it was more than what I thought, so I'm glad I asked that. And lastly, so you explained to us your rationale, because after all, it is our decision. But I think it would help me once again for those who are listening or will listen at some point in time and for us as a reminder as to why we have in the past and will this time also not do a split with respect to businesses and residents? I'm sorry, I didn't hear the question. Why we will not do a split? I mean, split rates for businesses? So we are going to have a single rate for everyone, and if you could just give a quick summary of why that's a good practice or why we've done it in the past and why we're going to continue to do it. Sure. So the DOR created these options because there are all sorts of towns with different classification rates or ratios. So in certain cities, the ratio of commercial property to residential property is almost 50-50. In those cities and towns, it might make more sense to have a split rate where the city has a significant base of commercial entities and is not actively trying to recruit businesses to the city. So it's a matter of the percentage and whether the town is seeking to attract businesses or not. And also you have certain... So it's based on home ownership and whether the property is your primary residence. So we have certain towns, like down the Cape, where you have a large percentage of non-owner occupied properties, which can absorb... I'm sorry, actually that would be the residential exemption. No, I wanted that too. Thank you. I thought maybe you just kind of silently segue it over to that. Thank you. That was helpful. Yes, Mr. Chairman. Mr. Chair, if I can just be clear on one thing, just to make sure that in the interest of what you're saying for the people watching, this is ultimately the policy of the select board. It's your decision. It's a strange thing because these folks are such experts in everything about this. But technically speaking, to the extent that there is a split or there's not a split, it's really a function of the select board's jurisdiction. I just want to make sure that it's clear for everybody. Yeah. Can I... Yes, yes. I guess to make it feasible, so people at home understand, say if we went to a split tax rate and you took the midpoint of 125%, that would mean that the tax increase on $500,000 of commercial property would be $1,401. And the taxpayers, the residential taxpayers would see a decrease in $81,000. What would that do to what little commercial tax base we have here in Arlington, which is mostly small businesses? Would people want to see that burden shifted? Ultimately, they would pay for it and increase costs and expenses. So there's that component to it when you put it into the reality of it. That page six, page five, gives you the reality of the impact it would have. And I just want to say one other thing is, you know, you people have thanked us, but the values in this town continue to rise because the town is well run by the board of selectmen, the town manager, and town meeting. That is the reality of why we see these increases here. So, you know, people in this town should be grateful for your management of this town because their properties continue to expand at a very rapid rate compared to other communities. I mean, some of the communities that are listed on this comparison sheet ride through them on snowy days and see what the snow removal is like and ride through the town of Arlington and see what a wonderful job the Public Works Department does in this town. So I think we should thank you people as well for that. I guess you're welcome. Thank you. So, all right. That's it for me, you know. And so there is no way I'm going to repeat back that. I don't even remember what I said. On emotion by Mr. Heard and a second by Mr. Corsi. Mr. Heim. I'm sorry. Is there any further comments from any members of the board? Yes. I'm sorry. Yes. Mr. Corsi. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Okay. So we're moving on to item number five, Board of Commissioners Trust Funds. I mean, it's an appointment of Angela Olzulski. And I'm sorry if I mispronounced your last name. Hi. Hi. Angela. How you doing? Sorry. I got invited to join as a panelist. So we're discussing your appointment. So would you like to tell us a little bit about yourself? Sure. I think I know most everybody. So I've served on a lot of committees in town. I've been on the finance committee and capital planning. I chair ATED. And I was interested in serving on the trust fund commissioners. And I also have a background in investment management too. So I thought that would be helpful. And I'd just like to make another contribution to the town. All right. Well, thank you very much. You know, so. Okay. I heard Mr. Hurd. I'm going to go with him for the motion. And I saw Mr. Corsi. I didn't raise my hand. You know. Moving pro. Second. And so comments, questions. Yes. So since I had the privilege of working with Ms. in my capacity as the CBA committee chair, ladies in the capital planning, I was became well acquainted with your good work there and read it off all the different things that you've done for the town. And we are indeed fortunate that you are ready for more. So thank you for your service and for your new commitment here. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah. Yes. Once again, I'll just reiterate my appreciation. So thank you. I'm looking forward to your service here. So on a motion. Mr. Hurd and second by Mr. Corsi. Mr. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Thank you. All right. Thank you. Take care. And so the next appointment is to the zoning board of Hills and alternate member to a voting member, Bennett. Holy. Yep. Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi. That pronounced your last name correctly. Bank at Holy. Yep. Okay. Thank you. So I want to tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah. My name is Frank head and I'm currently serving as an associate member at the LinkedIn zoning board and been up to the service as server as a zoning board member registered architect. Worked in mass, you know, in Maryland and then Massachusetts here currently since past eight years. So we're 16 years of experience as a registered architect. So wanted to serve the community by being a board member and try to collaborate, you know, guidelines and other things associated. So that was the reason why I joined and happy to serve. All right. Thank you. So I turn. Mr. Heard. I'll move approval and just thank you for continuing your service. I know when me and Mr. Of course, he had our phone conversation with you, which was probably eight, six months to a year back. Yeah. I told you at that time that you couldn't vote and you still said that's okay. I still want to serve and be involved and get to know the board. I'm happy that you now can be involved and vote. So thank you for continuing to serve. Oh, thank you. Thank you, Mr. Cameron. Yeah. Second, Mr. Heard's motion and that's to see Mr. Holy. We did the interviews by phone. So it's nice to see you. Yes. Now it makes more sense to see everyone. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. And we were very impressed at the time. We really appreciate your commitment to the, to the ZDA and I'm happy to support the full membership. Thank you. All right. So, yes, I mean, I remember me when we voted you as an associate member because, you know, I saw that building, you know, in, in Quincy. Oh, yeah. You know, and, and I was just thinking, can we have one of them? You know, so, so is that, is that a triangular building? The one in the, which building, the chestnut place? Yeah. Yeah. No, it was recently done. Yeah. No, it's a rectangular shape building, but yes. 16. So that's, right. Okay. It almost looks like it's a triangular. So, okay. All right. It's still fine. It's still fine. I mean, it's, it's a beautiful building. And I see spent a lot of time in Baltimore. What brought you up to Boston, the Boston area? Oh, mostly I, it was a good opportunity with Perkins that's where I started when I moved here and then moved on to another firm called the architectural team. But it was just an international firm. I thought I should try out. So just one of those things packed up my suitcase and moved here. My wife happens to be in bio. So I never thought anything could go wrong there as well. So she's doing well and before they're doing well. Thanks. Thankfully. Oh, great. Well, thanks for settling in Arlington and being. Yes. The ZBA you, you have some big shoes to fell. I mean, apparently. I know. Was a big contributor. Yeah, I'm learning from Chris. And there's so much to learn. Yeah. Yeah. It has been such a delight to learn all those new things. Yeah. That's a great team. And I think we're going to be sending some interesting things your way. So, so on motion by Mr. Heard and second by Mrs. Of course he Mr. Heard. Yes. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Have a good night everyone. So on to open forum. Except in unusual circumstances, any matter presented for consideration of the board show now to be acted upon nor a decision made the night of the presentation in accordance with the policy on the which the open forum was established. It should be noted that there is a three minute time limit to present a concern or request. Anyone in the queue. All right. All right. So moving on to traffic rules and orders. So future select board meetings. So this behind isn't here. But I think it's kind of obvious to me the dates that we should probably set for January and February. And the reason I would like to do those sooner rather than later is that I know that the school committee is going to want to meet with us. Probably sometime in January. So he had to be good for us to have our date settled so that we can kind of work around that as opposed to me saying, I think I know what it's going to be.  So Mr. chair to look like the night and the 23rd might be good options for January. Yes, exactly what I was thinking. And February. Probably the sixth and the 27th unless you prefer the 13th and the 27th. Or we could do a Wednesday if we needed to. Any preferences between the sixth and 22nd or the 13th and 27th. Is there any, how much downside is there if we do the six 27th to having a three week gap instead of a two month rule. Is there any way to, this may have been your flow of word business. Oh, I said the 22nd. I misspoke me. I was saying the 27th. That would be a Wednesday. No, I don't want to say. Yeah. So I was. No. No. Yeah. No, I misspoke me. So, so I'm 27. I'm fine. She was asking me what would be the consequences of a three I think with our new zoom option in the events something requires us we can notice a meeting but yeah you should be fine yeah and that's what I was thinking too is that if it does get the things to start seem like they're piling up we can just end on the meeting pretty quickly you know so okay yeah let's do six in 27 because what that does is that me allows us to fall back to the 13th you know so because otherwise we then you know have the the three-week gap already built in so so we have a two-week yeah so okay you know so they take care of January and probably in March I mean I'm thinking that we'll probably meet more frequently early on just to blow through the assuming we'll have another like 90 in 20 resolutions so all right you know so it takes care of that and a quick follow-up on Veterans Memorial Park so so there was a comment in open forum in about the that that we should have me have public comment because it should have been so I talked with some console and he informed me that there was no need for that to be a hearing because it was just a proposal me for us to approve so that mr. Chung will go out and seek funding you know we can always accept public comment whatever we want you know and and the I'm inclined to do it more often than not me but certainly wasn't a requirement me so if I didn't say something correctly or if you want to enhance what I said mr. Heim no I guess the for the context we're talking about trees and to the extent that there's a public shade tree and I'm not saying I don't know there was one but the extent there are public shade trees you have to have a process for taking down the public shade trees so folks just know that if there's any public shade trees including ones taken by the town we have a process for doing that I'm not sure that any of the ones involved in this case were public shade trees but if they are there still has to still have to follow the entire process including noticing the trees removal or potential removal on tree a preliminary hearing which is for the tree committee and then any necessary further hearing before the slack thank you you know so that takes care of that you know and and I'm gonna thinking whether I should back up to 7 because we did the future meetings for January and February me but I did want to talk about the meetings for December is that a hand up so I had a while ago suggested that we start doing all remote in December January February essentially meteorological winter you know and so I asked folks to consider that you know I actually meant to bring it up at the last meeting you know I did not you know so I just want to see how people feel about that you know and and so my inclination is a I think I think again how about cake and eat it to at least me and that is if folks want to come you know I'm fine with with being remote you know and everyone else here me and I kind of want to try it to be honest you know the other thing is that we can we can play it by ear you know and to that I would ask Mr. Hine me at what point we would need to decide me where a meeting is going to be located because let's say by the time the agenda gets posted be it's very clear that there's a high probability or decent probability that the weather is going to be awful on the day of meeting you know then we could just decide to do that remotely but if we have more time to make that decision then that would be even better so Mr. Hine so generally speaking you've got 48 hours that you have for posting any meeting to sort of set what the location of that meeting is if there's an emergency or conditions that might allow you to shift the meeting's location rather than cancel the meeting that's a new option available that wasn't there before that's really about a shortening the time frame rather than expanding so I think as long as the board determines where it wants to be either a virtual virtual space in in-person or in a hybrid format before you post your agenda that's really all you need to do I don't think there's the legislature is currently considering some different options for rendering the remote meeting possibility as a more permanent status quo or a permanent option I'm not very clear I know Mr. Poole was talking to department heads about that this morning I'm not very clear exactly what the parameters of that are going to be like whether it's just going to be affording more latitude and flexibility or it's going to resemble a continuation I will say that as most of you recall unfortunately these legislative decisions have not necessarily been made well in advance they've oftentimes been made at the 11th hour when we've been you know because I think there's a lot of complications that go into it there maybe other people have more insight than I do with respect to that but it hasn't we haven't gotten a lot of lead time on those but it may be the legislature because they're considering a more permanent change as the head of the game on this I'm just not sure right you know so I'm not sure what more to say at this point you know other than to ask my colleagues if they want to say anything say to your purposes Mr. Hart I mean I'd much prefer to be in here I think my thoughts on remote meetings is well documented but I certainly understand I mean the people have different opinions on this I think our meetings run smoother especially during war and article season I mean I'd like to at some point have the discussion about along people to come in and really let our meetings run smoother but I certainly am fine if we kind of continue on the tracks that we are I mean I think this board has existed for many many years and a cold climate has somehow managed to put their meetings together so I think we could figure it out but I don't like sitting in my basement staring at the computer I'd much rather be looking at your fine faces in this room so from the other Mr. Hurd I feel similarly in that I think I find better experience here as we've been doing it I've appreciated the flexibility one for health reasons I need to be remote the hybrid format served us well and so for me I'm pretty happy with the status quo I think we would we have the technology flexibility to account for whether or dramatic change in the public health situation thank you Mr. Chairman yeah I agree with my colleagues I I think again subteach individual member if you are in a situation where you can't make the meeting you have the flexibility but I mean I think as a board I think the meetings run much better when we're here in person and and I think it also sends a message to the public to we're coming in to do the town's business here again individual members and maybe a meeting that you can't make it but you can make it remotely and it's nice now to have that flexibility and I think it's up to individual members but I mean I think if we're taking a vote as to whether you'd prefer prefer to be here or have a remote meeting I would much prefer to be here at the meeting all right well you know so I hope well I like I said I have to do the experiment of me running you remotely I just have to get up yes Mr. Hunt so I'm sorry Mr. just one wrinkle is that typically if you're having an in-person meeting the and and a minority of members are participating remotely someone who's in person would run the meeting just so that's something that maybe we can discuss some more in terms of the parameters so typically the person who's leading the meeting you're in a hybrid context under the way that the open meeting law has worked previously with respect to remote participation you would hand that off to your vice chair if there's a quorum of folks in person we've been operating under the emergency rules which are a little different but I just want to give the board the heads up that that's something that may or may not be tweaked or changed over time so I'd be happy to discuss it more so wait so are you saying that that's not possible for me to run it remotely or that we don't know so typically under the law you would if there's a quorum of folks in person right the person who is remote would not run the meeting remotely under the suspension of the rules everything's kind of like fair game so it may be possible for you to run it remotely even though you're the member who's not in attendance if that's what you're sort of suggesting for the interim period yeah but I'm not sure that that will last but I guess what you're talking about is a pilot this winter so oh yeah I mean because I'm assuming that I mean who knows what's gonna happen after March yeah who knows yeah so all right well well let's let's let's look into that because we know first off I mean I just want the challenge of doing it I think I think it'll be easier actually for sure because for me I mean I understand how people feel but for me I find that the virtual is easier for me because I can see everyone I mean I can I can actually read the room better you know on the screen because I can see everyone at once as opposed to being in the middle and kind of swiveling back and forth and having people pointing to me that someone has their hand up you know and and the convenience that just can't beat that you know and so I just get so much more done when I can stay at the lab and then hop into a meeting and then after the meeting go back and do some more work and then and then head home so so to the extent I can do that you know I will you know because I think it's great me for folks because I think we can have our we can do it all I mean it's all people are here want to be here me and I will be remote when I want to be remote because I mean it's not not saying that I'll do every meeting remotely through February because as I mentioned when I first brought this up I think it would be good in February me to start discussing bringing people back into the room you know for March when we will do the hearings for the articles you know and so it's definitely come back then and have people here given the conditions you know so so so that's where we are but if it doesn't work out being and I need to be here well you wouldn't be the first time I don't get what I want you know and certainly I'm happy to have this discussion with you all because I know the chair can do what the chair wants me but as I told Mrs. behind what I want to do is find out what other people want to do and try to maximize you know happiness so all right you know so we've taken care of that you know and on to correspondence received you know so we have nine concerns regarding a crosswalk at Park Ave and Oakland Ave by Barbara Thornton you know motion to receive and refer to attack second that on a motion by Mr. Helmets and a second by Mr. on a motion by Mr. Hurd and a second by Mr. Helmets. Mr. Hurd, Mr. Corsi, Mr. Helmets, Mr. Diggins, Mr. Folt. All right great so we now go to this business Ms. Maher. No new business thank you. Mr. Heim. No new business thank you, Mr. Corsi. Thank you Mr. Chairman. A few things first first I would like to extend condolences to Mrs. Mahan on her mother passed away since our last meeting and wake in funeral was last week's our condolences today and in her family second thing I'd like to bring up I am the as you know the liaison to the council on aging and I attended a meeting last week and there were some interesting really had interesting discussion on a number of issues but one of the thing I'd like to follow up with Mr. Pooler on and I asked the question this evening of Mr. Man about how many individuals use the tax deferral program he said 16 to 18 and there's a relationship on that's on property tax deferral for people who qualify there's also a senior circuit breaker that's available to people but if you elect the deferral you don't qualify for the circuit breaker even though you might hit the income limits and there was some discussion about if there's any way that perhaps we could through the town talk to our legislative delegation to see if there is a way to try to harmonize it too so that you're not electing one at the expense of the other because under the deferral program you are obligated to pay the tax and usually on a transfer but I think it's something that would require it might require home rule might I don't know exactly what it would require but I thought it was a really good idea and something that we should perhaps look into the other thing that that came up and this may be more for the community is with the increases that we're seeing now in fuel costs and home heating and the strain on people with fixed incomes is much much greater and they are finding that the number of requests that they're receiving for fuel assistance help is way up compared to the other years so again this is something that I think I'll follow up with mr. pooler in this banjo no there are programs that are available both through the council on aging with the town with some charitable organizations but I think it's it's something worth looking into because I think this is going to be a particularly challenging year thank you and lastly just want to wish everybody happy Thanksgiving thank you mr. Horsey thank you I'll echo mr. DeCorsi's comments about Mrs. Mahan's mother condolences to her and her family if you saw me on my phone I wasn't being rude texting while you're talking I was on to verify the date that I'm about to say I'm happy to say past a couple of years I've had a lot of people reach out to me and like in Arlington to the Ebenezer Scrooge of the neighboring towns for holiday celebrations and holiday lightings so this year we have a beautification committee that has come and is going to have that put together a plan for holiday lighting throughout Arlington Center and whatnot and we have the return of first lights which is going to be on December 1st in Woodmore Park rain date of Friday December second but we have a lighting of the park performance by the Arlington High School honors orchestra in performance by Arlington High School magical singers so it should be a fun event and certainly fun for kids of all ages and a good night to come and patronize some of the Arlington businesses it's done in coordinate coordination with Arlington tourism and economic development committee and down to chamber commerce as well as a number of sponsors so it should be a good event and hopefully spread some holiday cheer in Arlington that we haven't had in the past couple of years looking forward to that thank you Mr. Howard thank you Mr. Chair I also extend my condolences to our friend Diane and I know this is a difficult time and their thoughts are with her father and the rest of the family last night my husband Jordan and I were honored to attend the Arlington vigil observing the transgender day of remembrance it was sponsored by the Townes Rainbow Commission the Human Rights Commission and the Disability Commission and generously hosted in the lawn of first Paris Universal Universe Unitarian Universalist Church in light of the horrifying event in Colorado Springs this weekend I'd like to read a slightly expanded version of my remarks from last night so last night I said so tonight just four hours from now LGBTQ people and their allies in Colorado Springs were planning to observe transgender day of remembrance at the club Q nightclub instead they are reeling from a violent deadly attack in that vibrant diverse and friendly space an attack that injured and killed members of the queer community their friends and allies amid a fresh round of rage and grief it is hard to know what to feel and think and it's even harder to know what to say but words matter speaking our truth matters living our truth matters more than ever in moments like this that shake us we don't know much yet about the twisted mind of the shooter but we know what is happening around this country the rights and visibility of the LGBT community are the latest political wedge in the culture wars politicians and pundits are spreading lies in fear about us to score cheap political points to gain power to deflect the blame for social and economic problems onto innocent people who just want to live their lives our lives words matter the words of these morally bankrupt individuals have fanned the flames of fear and hate fueling a rise in threats and violence against members of this community especially transgender people and their families including right here in eastern Massachusetts so we mourn and honor the memory of those who have lost their life to this violence but we also honor and celebrate the resilience of the amazing Arlington residents who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex, allies and more people who are so much more than that acronym and to that community I say this the town of Arlington is committed to seeing you supporting you and protecting you we stand with you against the hate and lies we honor the courage it takes to speak and to live the simple truth about who you are and we will do our very best to make Arlington a safe and welcoming place thank you thank you sir Thomas you know it's great you know and very touching very well and Arlington is a very welcoming place you know and so we'll continue to be such mean and try to be even more so and so thank you and and my my new business is really I'm pretty just kind of simple you know and so if you want to let you know that we are gonna have an update being on the town manager search you know next meeting you know making good progress on that and last time I had said and I want to kind of understand the our tree our posture towards trees meaning for us to start maybe thinking about doing something a little more substantial with the Arlington tree committee and I had a preliminary conversation with Mr. Helmets you know last week and and so I think I'm gonna want to move forward with that a little bit more I had a little conversation with Mr. Poole today also so so I think I'm going to have a real item on the agenda next meeting and so in preparation for that if you want to read the tree management plan on the Arlington tree org site if you go to our website and go to Arlington tree committee then there's a link to their site that has the tree plan that'll be a good starting point you know so that's pretty much it for me and so I'm just going to end with the land acknowledgement you know normally I just do this once a month you know but since it is just before Thanksgiving I think it's a little more appropriate the meeting thinking about the land acknowledgement and so we acknowledge that the town Arlington is located on the ancestral lands of the Massachusetts tribe the tribe of indigenous peoples from whom the colony province and commonwealth have taken their names we pay our respects to the ancestral bloodline of the Massachusetts tribe and their descendants who still inhabit historic Massachusetts territories today so on that I'll take a motion to adjourn to move second by Mr. Mr. Heard and the second by Mr. Corsi. Mr. Heard. Yes. Mr. Corsi. Yes. Mr. Helman. Yes. Mr. Dickens. Yes. Thank you.


This is bordering on being a little bit of a social taboo, I'm not really quite sure how this situation has built up to the point where you can't actually, ac yn ymdegwyd yn y ffordd cyntaf, yn y ffordd cyntaf yng Nghymru, yn y ffordd cyntaf yng Nghymru, yn ymdegwyd yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd, yn ymdegwyd. Mae'n ddwy o'r cyntaf yn y Llywodraeth a'r ysgrifennu, sydd wedi'u gwirioneddau o'r ddiweddau sydd yn gwybod i'r ddiweddau o'r ddym ni'n ei wneud o'r ddod. Yn ymddangos y gallwn i'r ddod, mae'n gwybod o ddod yn yr unigolion. Mae'r ddod, mae'n diweddau i'n mynd i ddod, mae'n tyfnol y cwybod o'r ddod, mae'n ddod yn yr unigolion. Mae'n ddod o bobl, yw bobl yn ymarhyn, yw bobl yn y gallu gobl. Yng Nghymru yn ymdegwyd. So, narciss are typically described as being male, and therefore narcissistic abuse is something that men do to women. And then when you look online on the forums, on the, you know, in the cyber sphere of psychology, whether this is Facebook or Instagram or wherever you look, you will see it's mainly when narcissism is raised, it will mainly be female participants talking about men. Now, I've been in this field since 2012, and the vast majority of my client base has been female. Most of the people who come to my seminars, it's women, probably to 80 to 90%. Occasionally, and I really don't know why this is the case because the research doesn't back this. As an aside, just so you know, there's very, very few, there are some but very, very few gay people showing up and talking about this. Relative to the number of women who are talking about experiencing this in heterosexual relationships with men.  It's usually men, I get very, very few women, very, very few women coming to me and saying, oh, I've got problems with my girlfriend and it looks like this. Some men have come through, but very, very few. My point about this is that the filter through which this particular psychological order is perceived currently is highly gendered and it's skewed in an odd way. Now, in the literature, very infrequently, will women be labelled as NPD? Usually, they will get a different diagnosis, though this is changing. And diagnosing NPDs is a whole other tricky thing anyway because why isn't NPD going to show up to therapy to be diagnosed? If they are offered a questionnaire, why would they answer it honestly? They're very easy to trick, by the way, the questionnaires for psychopathy and narcissism. They're available freely online, many of them, and you can trick them if you just do the questionnaire and imagine that you want to be seen as a psychopath, you will be. If you want to not be seen as a psychopath, then you won't be, and similarly for narcissism. Usually, women get a diagnosis of BPD, histrionic, or less frequently, antisocial personality disorder, which from now on I'm going to refer to as psychopathy, to avoid confusion and people hear antisocial and they think, oh, that's somebody who's self-isolating. But actually it means somebody who anytime they're in contact with another human being, the contact is exploitative, it's poisonous, it's toxic in some way, and that's why it's called antisocial. So I'll just say psychopath, we all understand what a psychopath is. Histrionic would usually be sort of determined as an extremely infantile, vain, reaction seeking, and hypersexualised modality of functioning. BPD would typically be emotionally labile, self-destructive, fragile, also very reaction seeking, sometimes hypersexualised infantile and vain as well, what else is typically borderline. There's a lot of push-pull in the relational style, push-pull relational style.  I'm going to enter your space and accelerate the intimacy of our relationship if you accelerate and increase the intimacy of the relationship I feel smothered and pulled away. Why are you so indifferent to me? I'm coming towards you. Why are you pulling towards me? Oh, you're smothering me. That's push-pull. So you never really know where you are. The classic view on the internet, and I think it's partly based on the psychological world as well, unfortunately it shouldn't be this way, is a very cosmopolitan magazine, Oprah Winfrey chat show view of narcissistic psychopathic men. So the classic view of narcissistic psychopathic men is, in my opinion, a very dangerous because it gives people the wrong impression of what it looks like and very simplistic trope. It's a culture-bound trope, and it is American Psycho. I was going to say by Chuck Palin Hurrick, by Brett Easton Ellis, American Psycho. So your Patrick Bateman, as portrayed by Christian Bale, successful, wealthy, powerful and predatory. So I'm not going to write all that down because there's too many words. Successful, wealthy, powerful, predatory, alpha male. A guy who is an alpha in his own environment. So why is this problematic? And why is this this, just this, which is the tip of the iceberg, by the way, on this issue? Why is this problematic? This is problematic for two reasons. These tropes, these ideas are kind of archetypal. So what we can see here are culture-bound archetypes. It's never comfortable when a non-American talks about American culture, especially when he's talking predominantly to Americans. But in my humble opinion, these tropes, not this trope, this trope is an American trope, this archetype of the narcissistic psychopath. You know, I like the fact that American Psycho was played by Christian Bale because then we also get the overtones of his character in Batman. The Christopher Nolan version of Batman, that Bruce Wayne, right the way, you know, the guy riding around in a tuxedo in the red sports car. It's a trope. It's this silly idea of what the ultimate wealthy alpha male looks like. Let's deal with the problems of this trope first. So emotionally labile, infantile, self-destructive, vain, reaction-seeking, hypersexualized, using a lot of push-pull in their relational style. And fragility. There is something, so there is the proper material on borderline personality disorder. And then there's Richie's hypothesis, my hypothesis of how borderline personality disorder plays out. As I'm talking, if I remember, I'll distinguish between the two because I know some of you have studied psychology. So I'll try not to blur my own personal hypotheses with what's in the literature. The push-pull relational style, that's something that I focus on. That's when I see this, I start thinking borderline. The reason why this I think happens is because of emotional ability. And I think that actually what you have with many borderlines is a counter-dependent personality type. Meaning that love is something that even though they crave it, they're terrified of it at the same time. We'll come back to that. This, as an archetype, is a trope. There are many women out there who believe that this is how to behave. That this is actually just what femininity is. There's been a bunch of memes, if you look, if you want to know where people are up to in terms of what they generally think at a culture-wide level, it's good to look at memes. It's good to follow memes on Facebook and on Instagram. There's been a bunch of memes that have come out in the last four or five years that are frequently attributed to Marilyn Monroe. A lot of them are misquotes. They're quotes that she never said that didn't come from her, that other people have ascribed to her. But you'll notice that it is this idea of talking around protecting the notion of womanhood with being infantile, vain, reaction-seeking and sometimes self-destructive and drawing a complex equivalent, drawing an equality and equality, not inequality between femininity and self-destructiveness. That's a problem with drawing an equivalence between being infantile, cute, childlike, pouting, manipulative and femininity. That's a problem because I think that this has become internalised and that femininity has become equalised with a very toxic notion of what femininity is. All of these things... As a man. Learn more at the link below or visit 21university.com This coming together, right? When I get a client who comes to me and they say, I don't know whether I have PTSD, complex PTSD or whether I actually have borderline and many people who are diagnosed with borderline and histrionic personality disorder are misdiagnosed because the cluster of traits between complex post-traumatic stress disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder overlaps very, very heavily and so they get misdiagnosed. What I tell them to look out for when it's a personality disorder to me and all of these, by the way, incidentally I use the American definitions which is the diagnostic and statistical manual which I find to be the most useful. So the abusive exploitative personality types in the DSM and the American DSM are called cluster B and I use this instead of the World Health Organization or the other options because I find it the best and most useful definition. This is not in the DSM. This is my humble opinion. When you're trying to figure out whether somebody actually has a personality disorder or whether it's just a traumatised infantile response to something that occurred to them in childhood because these are the kinds of things that happen when people are sexually abused, all of them.  It's highly likely that they'll be addicted to the act of sex, the physical sensations of sex but more that their ego is intrinsically linked to them having value as a sexually desirable object. It's a break in the self-perception in the area of sexuality and if I'm not a sexually desirable object, I'm not anything at all. It's not that I'm not lovable, it's that I cease to exist. I drop out of existence if I'm not a sexual object. If somebody actually embraces that and they've had a traumatic break with reality you can see why clinging desperately to being a sexually desirable object becomes such a thing and can become such a hysterical attachment because without that it's death. If I'm not sexually desirable, I don't exist and in the unconscious, nonexistence is equated with death. What I look for is entitlement and exploitation. I would say that if somebody demonstrates all of these but doesn't have the entitlement and isn't neurotically compelled to exploit then this would be post-traumatic stress or complex post-traumatic stress and it's fixable, it's healable. This is somebody who is emotionally immature because trauma freezes and they will have experienced trauma at a certain age and it's frozen in their development, it's frozen in their maturity. They're emotionally immature, they're emotionally completely illiterate, they don't want to deal with any of their own feelings so they're trapped in a cycle of projecting outward because they can't deal with their own feelings so they become emotionally illiterate. Illiterate, oh my god. What happens when the person who's trying to spell illiterate can't spell illiterate? Illiterate. They become emotionally illiterate. What they're going to do is they're going to keep projecting outwards. Illiterate, there we go, we've got there in the end. Which leads to projection. Projection is, most people know this but I'm going to say it just in case, projection is I do not want to accept a part of myself or a feeling in myself because I find it unacceptable to my self image but it is there, so in order to deal with it I'm going to project it outward and frequently it will be projected onto my intimate partner. Now, if there is entitlement and exploitation and all of this and all of this I think you're talking about a full blown personality disorder that is in the cluster B. The chances of that being responsive to therapeutic intervention or negotiation or any kind of adult to adult communication is nil. I personally don't think that that can happen if we've gone there. So I don't think that what we're dealing with actually is a huge tidal wave of people becoming narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, etc. I don't think that's what's happening but I do think it's nearly as bad as that because if your cultural coordinates are all of this is my right all of this is what makes me attractive and sexy and interesting then the strategies that I use in life and in relationships will be based on this. So that's why that trope is dangerous. Why is this trope dangerous? The trope of Patrick Bateman, capitalist's wet dream is, what did I say, successful? Success, wealth, power and his predatory. Patrick Bateman or Christopher Nolan's Bruce Wayne Christopher Nolan chose to make Bruce Wayne a laughable character, a dope a billionaire playboy in his external perception of him. Why is this a dangerous trope? Who else does this sound like? Or what was the most popular piece of pornography that was consumed by most women in the western world in the last five years? Fifty shades of grey. Who does this sound like? Christian Grey. Why is this a problem? Because you've got women probably, probably likely overdiagnosing through the cyberspace through the cybersphere, men in their lives as actually having a full blown pathological personality disorder that is narcissistic and psychopathic that says that men are like Patrick Bateman that's successful, they're wealthy, they're powerful their predatory, their alpha males who drive around in red sports cars and bang everything that they can get their hands on. So they would also be hypersexual and highly promiscuous. Promiscuous and unfealing because they are psychopaths, right? But also I want this. So this is bad and desirable all at the same time. This alpha male is the ultimate goal and he is my worst enemy all in one. Now why is that then an issue? Because if I am highly emotionally labile extremely entitled and have a push-pull relational style the chances are high because of my emotional mobility my perceptions will be skewed. This is not... I don't think this is talked about all that much in the literature but I doubt there will be many psychologists who disagree with me that if somebody is very emotionally dysregulated they have very poor internal boundaries very low impulse control and their emotions are going up and down all the time that their perceptions are going to become warped over time. And then they'll start projecting parts of themselves that they don't want outward. Parts of themselves that are bad and desirable because good goals don't want Patrick Bateman or Christian Gray that's only bad goals would want that. That's bad. I'm not allowed to want that. I'm not allowed to want what it is that I truly want. There's something wrong with this. So what happens is projection. And I think what we've got is an epidemic of women diagnosing men as being the thing that they really really should not want because of desire. So I don't want to get too psychobabbly on you but what this would mean is if you have somebody with a very very fragile sense of self who possibly has been sexually abused now sexual abuse to be clear in childhood it might be actual physical sexual abuse of varying degrees and varying levels that we don't need to get into here but it can also be a boundary breaking unwarranted level of sexually flavoured attention from the wrong source that also is abuse. If a mother or a father is looking at a little girl or a little boy looking at talking to talking about them in a way that is inappropriate that is boundary breaking and it causes huge problems in the personality when they grow up. It's really tricky because that person can't actually then say well I was sexually abused they can only say it was kind of icky for me growing up one would look at me funny when I was not wearing clothes and they can't quite figure out what it is that's gone wrong but we're told well unless you are actually physically assaulted it's not an assault, it creates problems. I suspect a very very large number of people are walking round with this as an issue because of boundary broken hyper sexualised attention in childhood that was completely inappropriate. When the entitlement and the exploitation creeps in the emotional liability creeps in what can start to happen is if you look at a guy imagine that you're a girl who has this going on inside and you look at a guy and you like him and you start to feel desire for him but you're projecting as well you start to project bad attributes onto him bad and desirable because it's the same. This idea people say it's outdated the ultimate man is a bad boy the most desirable man is always going to be a bad boy it's not outdated it'll never be outdated it's biological because bad in this context is only bad in a I didn't write it down. Some psychologists are calling this a culture bound syndrome when I say some, there are many many very well respected psychologists who are saying we need to stop calling narcissism a personality disorder it isn't, we need to stop calling broadline, histrionic, psychopathy a personality disorder they're saying they're not personality disorders they're responses to trauma it's a coping mechanism to deal with a hostile environment from childhood not a personality disorder there's also many people are saying it's entirely culture bound these terms that would mean the disorder only has meaning in the culture in which it's found it has meaning in the United Kingdom somebody has a narcissistic personality disorder that has meaning but in other countries and other environments it might not have the same meaning it might not have the same implications that might just be the way you are the way you're supposed to be bad in this context what would bad be? bad may only be bad in a certain cultural environment once certain cultural coordinates have changed so what I suspect the reason why bad and desirable in the idea of the bad boys come in is because bad implies taboo so what's a taboo? what is it you're not allowed to do that's so bad that guys like this or girls who think that guys are like this well maybe they're not what is it that they're doing that is so bad that is so attractive