All right Good morning everyone or good evening depending on your time zone I'm Liam Newman. I'm and I'm here to help us kick off the Jenkins Java 10 plus hackathon I'm not I'm I'm not I'm just here to help out Oleg and then a chef is actually the one leading this Hackathon for this week and I'll just hand this off to him. Oh Oh Wait, wait before I do this every time before before I hand this off we are doing chat and you can ask questions and stuff like that on the Jenkins hack house IRC channel Jenkins hashtag Jenkins dash hack house all one word or also on the Jenkins CI Jenkins IRC channel Also on the call at this point is Nikola and Dennis Yeah, do you see my slides? Yes, I can okay Hi everybody, and thanks line for the introduction. I'll just provide some information about the logistics about the current status of Java 10 and about Things we are going to do this week So it will be a short presentation and then we will switch here to the discussion and to Classy Google Doc Climbing. So that's the plan Why did we meet this week Actually, we just want to have some fun and to explore compatibility Issues with Java 10 and learn and hopefully fix some of them but the main objective is those shake experience and To just work together. So have a kind of community bonding And everybody is welcome to join. So if you haven't yet registered the hackathon at the resilient you can go and Just use This form to apply and if you're interested to know more about the hackathon recently we have posted the blog post about it So it's here Okay, I think it's a Java online hackathon. It describes all the things in detail, but yeah Sorry about that Yeah, but actually we can Work on any matters including exploratory testing just hiking the stuff Etc. Yeah, I should turn off all my charts somehow Yeah, it's always a channel. Yeah, so the main idea that this is an open session It will last for five days starting from today till Friday during the session this hackathon we will have for daily sync up calls We will have chats referenced by Lyam And we also have a Google Doc for all kinds of sync up You can just go through to this link Regarding ground opening we will have it at 4 p.m. UTC today So now it's a morning sync up session between people who start hacking earlier But at 4 p.m. UTC join and they will be mob leads so they will be more participants Etc. Okay Regarding channels, we have Jenkins hack house in FC. It's our standard channel for all kinds of hackathons and You're welcome to join there. Yeah, if you don't like RC, we also have Gitterchat Jenkins. Yeah Jenkins It's my main Jenkins Gitterchat. It's not an official channel, but we can we'll be also using it for sync ups Then if you have any questions that you have Distributed office in Jenkins. I have hang out. So it this is a channel which is open 24-7 but yeah, it doesn't mean that We have People are there all the time there will be also other meetings in Jenkins community there So feel free to open and hopefully if you have any questions and yeah, as I said, we have Hangouts on there like this presentation. So some participants see in YouTube some participants I see there in handouts and if you want to sub Subscribe we have posted all links in Jenkins online meter So you may see that there are links for every session if you don't want if you just want to Listen to statuses and maybe to join regarding the hangouts of air links. We will be posting them in Jenkins Gitter channel and also in RC hack house Unfortunately, there is no opportunity to create these links in advance. So every time we will be creating them Or maybe 10 minutes before the meeting starts Yeah, so that's the current phone. So yeah, so for participants We'll be posting them in those channels, right? Okay, so If You're still there the first question would be about how to run Jenkins with Java 10 and 11 and You know to address for this question. We have created a blog post It has been published yesterday. So we provide so all guidelines how to run Jenkins in Docker and without Docker and so we have created test images including Images for JDK 10 and JDK 11. You may see that the other development breakers. So This image points to a branch of Jenkins core We have created these branches in order to pick up delivery of changes and we have also Continuous delivery established. So every time we integrate changes to these branches. So these images will be updated If you want to have classic images that are also available here And yeah, it's also possible to run Jenkins without Docker So for example, if you want to test them or on Windows or if you want to just In the evaluation of your whatever custom platform or this config management, you can use all styles You just need to set some flags for example enable future Java is enabled Available starting from Jenkins 2.127. It's a recent weekly release and you also need to enable Java models In order to get it right, but this command actually Jenkins runs on Java 10 For Java 11, it's a bit more tricky because you also need to download several JAR files and the command line is also more complex because you need to Add pass to modules then class passes But if you configure that Jenkins also runs on Java 11 If you use Docker, you don't need to set up the things because everything is already packaged in images so simpler commands like that will work and These images are fully compatible with standard Jenkins Docker images So you can just use this documentation and you can set up everything including Volumes including plugins, txt for plugin installation or system group scripts So everything from these guidelines should work out of the box Okay so More information about the current status We did some testing and prep work as you may have noticed in updates and Pretty much functionality is already available. So freestyle jobs works Agents work including classic general p1s docker get another docker We also tested some Foundation plugins like folders a job they say maybe an integration also security plugins work like matrix south and the role strategy Then I have tested configuration as code plugin If you want to use it for preconfigurations, it works well and also script console and groovy hooks So they also start on groovy 2.4. Even this is a Java 11 so We've got All basic functionality working Some beats do not work. So for example now pipeline just crashes immediately on Java 10 or 11 So if you can see the testing pipeline with the current images Please do not spend time on them so far. We will be focusing on getting it working. But yeah so far It's not not available. We also know that for some cases Plugins cannot be installed use Java 11. So for example get client plug-in The version in a main update center doesn't work So you would need to use Experimental update center in order to get it running as well as entire gets that Okay I've wasted to hear To my development server, I will fix it later Okay, so here's a guidelines so you can just configure Update center in our one stop and then you will get everything running when you Install a better version from there the same for configuration as code plugin. You can use this experimental update center We also have a lot of illegal reflective access warnings when we run Jenkins It doesn't cause filters in current Java 10 or 11 beats But we still want to clean them up and there are some other minor beats For example where you cannot use jcasc exported for now, but yeah We hope to improve their things So accepting pipeline all other issues can be worked around for now But yeah, this is the current state So if you wonder what to do on day one So first advice is to split into teams to find the errors you are interested in and to start working on this service Then it's possible to start doing exploratory testing for example for Linux windows So you can also play this packaging for example, you can improve the docker packages You can Work on other platforms if you want to create packages for deban for whatever it's also possible And yet it's possible to clean up reflective access or to just run your ID And do some static analysis for java 10 compatibility and the report issues And if you're interested we have also created a bunch of issues during initial analysis So for example for java 10 compatibility Here's an epic you may see that there are a lot of issues there And yeah, you can pick any of these issues assign it to yourself and start working on that Same for java 11 It's Explored less than java 10, but there are already some issues And if you work and if you Discover more issues, please report them to these epics use java 10 or java 11 as And java 10 hackathon And also remove the assign you so that if a company has default assign you anybody From hackathon participants can pick it up If you test the reflective access, please set up this flag so that we get stack traces when the issue happens It's really important for Diagnostics by developers Okay, uh, that's what I wanted to share. Um, as I said, we have Jenkins hot house and Guitar channels As sync up, so please feel free to join these channels and ask any questions there And now I'm going to switch to Google doc so that we can do less official part Of the opening session So, who do we still have online? Uh, I'm still here and I believe nicole is still here Yeah Yeah, so maybe we could start from some introductions so that uh, we can identify our goals for the Hackathon and yeah, maybe talk a bit about teams We will spend more time about that on the evening. But if we set up our main objectives Then, uh, yeah, we can start from there Okay, so for example, I can Let me talk about my own. So, yeah I'm one of Jenkins core contributors and for this hackathon, one of my main objective is to just keep things running Yeah, I mean all kinds of reviews Uh If needed Releases if needed Yeah, and maybe some touches for Jenkins core, um, in order to get pipeline running, for example Okay, now That's it from me and I'm also I will be also off from Uh AMUTC to 11 Uh, all other time I will be available All right in the hangouts So if you need any help with getting things integrated they're just Uh, I'll connect to hangouts, uh, and I will help you Okay, let's see it from me Yeah, I'm just scrolling down to the dock and to figure out where I Where you are versus there we are. No, no, no, there we are. Irreductions. Got it So my name is Liam Newman. I am a technical evangelist here, uh working at cloudbees For the Jenkins project. I am also here to help keep things running And communicate and coordinate I'm more of an observer. I'll probably help, uh, testing and also general discussions Uh answering questions when Oleg isn't around which is as far as I can tell never Um, I don't think you sleep Oleg. I I'm just wondering Yes, I I know what I know you It's it's just it's just one eye closed and then still with the keyboard. Yeah Anyways, uh, but when Oleg, uh goes into hibernation for his one hour. Anyways, anyways, um, I will uh also be around, uh, sort of Uh, when he's not, um What else my objectives for this are mostly to to, uh, smooth the road and and see how the uh community interacts and See how far we get. I'm really interested to see, uh, it's it's interesting to me that the The basic Jenkins is already running and and and at least Partly functional and and that that uh that we've gotten this far already. Uh, so Yeah Right, so, um, so I'm senior engineer at uh at cloud bct office. Uh, and for sure I want to keep Jenkins running on all version of Of new java platform. Uh, also interested to understand the the architecture impact, uh, of this change made on java in the recent release And uh and how we can work around in a general manner So as you know, all legacy Jenkins framework used to rely on various hacks So that's a very interesting challenge for a pure engineering point of view um I planned to uh help as much as possible on the darker aspects of things And all I got already reported me some issue with the contribution as code plugin, uh, which I'm contributing to so I probably will start trying to diagnose this one And uh happy to help in any place I can so I'm in a central open time In terms of time zone and availability So Nicola and me are based in europe. Uh, lime is based in united states, uh, west coast so we have uh Good time zone coverage not that good time zone overlap, but yeah, it's how online hackathons work So we will try to expand our communications by possible So let's have I'll take this I'll take this moment to mention that we have the link to this, uh, the doc that you're You're seeing right now in the description to the the video So if you're uh wanting to join in, uh, you can do that Oh man, uh, if you want to look at that later on, that's where you would go to find this So Okay Okay, so jump out. Uh, would you like to introduce yourself? Okay Hello, hello, yes, we can Okay Yeah, um, yeah, hello. This is jump out. Um, I'm an embedded software engineering Okay, I am an embedded software engineering in, uh, torino Unfortunately, it's a little bit of echo in my in my microphone. I will probably switch to chat later on Mm-hmm But we're not hearing an echo. It seems to be okay Yeah, what's for me? Well Anyway, uh, I've been I've been mainly in Jenkins, uh, user more than developer I have an experience using Jenkins for the software development for the last five years Mm-hmm And mainly on using Jenkins on docker. I have also created a small project which I have on my g-tab Which is called easy Jenkins for the purpose of bootstrapping Jenkins On a on the configuration we have been using in our company It's easy that's Jenkins, but I I will add them to the link Yeah, you can just propose changes to the document and yeah, I will Not to be filled but it fulfills our use cases. So I keep making it that evolved Mm-hmm Yeah, yeah, sure Yeah, what are plans for the hackathon? Stop for the my pitch the my interest in the hackathon is looking at the integration Yeah, the idea is I will be mainly an observer Hopefully I will have some hours there in during my work day and I will be Liking to try some docker integration Especially with Kubernetes which are being exploring so far Mm-hmm Okay, it would be interesting. We haven't test Kubernetes so far So it will be great to see the results But I hope to learn first of all and hopefully give back something back Depending on my experience Okay, thank you for the introduction Um, yeah, as I said later today, we will have an opening session For us Europe so we'll have more participants there And yeah, if you haven't participated in this session, please feel free to join the next one Okay, so regarding teams Um, I guess it doesn't make much sense to split two teams now because we have only a few people online But yeah, we can do it on the emailing session And for now we can just sync up on what everybody is going to do Um, so in my case So for day one, I will try to get Pipeline running So it means that there are some core updates required for that Uh also bytecode transformer Yeah, so this is my plan. I don't expect to succeed, but yeah I will try to at least move forward and when Uh, united states wake up where we have sam van or we also have devin nuschbaum who will Be likely working on pipeline as well according to former Responses, so yeah, we will keep it as a major effort So this is my plan for today and I guess nicole and john pauler could sync up regarding the docker stuff so Yeah, and i guess you're going to bite anyway. Yeah, I'll I'll I'll see you guys in a few hours In your evening, yeah And for the next session what uh mark weight will also be on to talk about what we uh We accomplished the during the last hackathon in uh after jenkins world in 27 The 2017 yeah Right Okay, uh So I guess that's it for today. So I will stop screen sharing for now If you are interested we still have uh channels available. So as I said Jenkins jenkins also head house You may see that there are not so many people here, but I feel free to jump in and we will have discussions there Um, and yeah, as I said in the beginning if you haven't registered yet. He's uh sign up link. So please sign up we want to have some Rewards for participants. Maybe a lime has Better working for that. Uh, but uh, this sign up form is one of the information sources we will be using for that Um, so I believe the technical term is swag um, right Oh goodies Oh goodies. Yes goodies. Definitely. That's it There's those those are technical terms. Um, and we'll be discussing now. Yeah, how to what what those goodies will be As we go along Okay, so hi vincent By the way, if you want to introduce yourself, you can also Yeah, i'm vincent. Um, so uh, I work here as a engineering cloud base Uh, mostly on the cloud stuff. Um So, yeah, I'll be looking.  I see what's works and what doesn't Okay, cool. Oh, yeah, uh, so one thing I would add, uh, is that uh Everyone will have the ability to comment on the on the dock at least If you want to add your, uh chat handle or other way that we can identify you That rather than just first name that'd be great. Um, but it's completely up to you. It's not required right Okay, um, so I guess That's it, uh For now Yeah, so thanks everybody who participated or watched this video Uh, yeah, we'll see you soon. Yeah, I see you here. I mean jenki's house on Gitter All right Okay That's it from me Oh, thanks Okay, I'm stopping the screen share session Out of the matrix. Yay Okay Is there a way of getting the links of the documents you just edited? Uh, it's actually it's actually in the description of the video Uh, okay. Now I got it. Yeah. Anyway, I will send a link in the chat. I've seen your question Gitter. Okay Never mind. Thank you. No, that's great Okay, so that's it Let's see, uh, how it flies and yep, I hope that uh, we will get pipeline bits and other packaging things Working so that we can test more stuff But yeah, even now everything except in pipeline is ready for Tasting so yeah, I think it's a good start for today. Yeah All right, thanks Okay So I guess that's it with the broadcast I will stop it. Yeah, okay


I'm in Budapest, Hungary, and not by chance. My name is Sam Vaknin, and I'm the author of Balignan's Self-Love. Narcissism is a resident, and I'm also a professor of psychology. And today we are going to discuss two new components in how we all become who we are. Now you know the very famous age-old debate about nature versus nurture, about your biology, your genetics as determining factors, versus your upbringing, your family background, peer interactions, role models, society at large via the process of socialization, in short, your environment. What determines who you become? The hereditary load that you're born with? Or what others do to you and to this hereditary load? In other words, are you born with a predisposition to become someone? Or are you totally shaped by external forces? There's some nature versus nurture, but two new factors are emerging as even more important than nurture, as even more important than the environment. One of them is chance or randomness, and the other one is generational trauma. You know, scholars of personality disorders, myself included, we tend to attribute personality disorders and other mental health issues to abuse in early childhood. It's as if you were born a kind of clay and you were sculpted and shaped and formed by torsion and forces outside your control as a child. But new studies are disputing all of this. They actually imply that the two of the three most important things in your life are genetics, your biology. In the second place, randomness or chance, we'll discuss it in a minute. And in the third place, trauma handed out from one generation to the next, intergenerational trauma, which starts usually as a generational trauma. So collective trauma actually, not only individual trauma. Somewhere between randomness and generational trauma is the place of the environment, for example, abuse in early childhood. Now this much more nuanced view of human development and growth would account for the fact that people are exposed as children to the same set of parents and the same types of abusive behavior or the same types of neglect and abandonment and physical abuse and verbal abuse and sexual abuse and so on and so forth and only a small minority of them develop mental illness. It seems that other factors are at play. And so let's delve right in and start with the issue of chance. Latest research in Harvard University and elsewhere on everything but including flies and rats and humans ultimately. This latest research suggests that we are overlooking a very critical part, a very critical piece of the jigsaw puzzle that each one of us is. And that third factor is pure chance. Random molecular fluctuations in developing brain cells, especially in utero and in the womb. And these random fluctuations can influence the brain's wiring and they can have lifelong consequences. And so chance is starting with mutations and genetic material but even more importantly effects on the brain. For example, we know that hormonal imbalance in the womb leads to the emergence of homosexuality later in life. That's a totally random thing. It has nothing to do with nurture. It has nothing to do with genetics. It has nothing to do with your biology. It has nothing to do with events around you which are totally chaotic and stochastic and which could and do affect major dimensions of your personality and of your identity. And this ties very intimately with the question of mental illness such as depression or anxiety or even schizophrenia, psychotic disorder or bipolar disorder. We don't have good treatments for these diseases because we don't understand them well. And many things we thought we knew were recently exposed as wrong. We have drugs but these drugs don't help everyone and even when they do work, we don't know why they work. We don't know what mechanisms are at play. The level of ignorance in neuroscience and psychopharmacology is astounding. Had people known how little we know, they would have run for the hills. They would have been terrified. For example, antidepressants. I have a video dedicated to this. For 40 years we've been told that serotonin in the brain causes depression or actually fluctuations in serotonin and depression, the inability to reabsorb serotonin. And then in July, a meta-analysis of several dozen studies showed that although they do help some users, the common idea that it has something to do with a chemical imbalance, a lack of serotonin in the brain, is almost certainly completely wrong. And so if they do help some people, the most likely explanation is that it is a placebo effect. We don't know. We don't know a lot. We classify and identify mental illness in a very questionable way. We cannot yet diagnose mental health conditions as clinical entities. We cannot administer a blood test. We cannot do a brain scan. We cannot analyze DNA. Don't believe any of the nonsensical hype spewed out by self-interested and fame-seeking or celebrity-seeking scientists. None of it is true. The research is flimsy, dubious, questionable, badly designed. Doctors ask people about symptoms, severity and frequency. And then they try to match this with lists, for example, in the diagnostic and statistical manual. And of course, it doesn't work. Different doctors diagnose you with different disorders. Our current way of understanding mental health and mental illness is deficient. Plato called it carving nature at its joints. That's nearly what we're doing. It's been almost a decade since the head of the US National Institute of Mental Health, Thomas Insel, a courageous man, said that it was time to overall psychiatry or discard it. Instead of existing symptom-based diagnosis, Insel argued that we need to start understanding the root causes of mental illness based on, for example, a genetic basis or the way they affect the brain. In other words, we need to get a hell of a lot more serious about all this. And progress on the genetic front hasn't been good. The news are not good. We're still unable to identify any particular individual mutations that predispose people to any mental health condition, for example, depression or even schizophrenia. These genetic tests that would help with early diagnosis and treatment or even provide prevention, these genetic tests are a very long way off, if ever. So we're not making good progress. We're not getting there. And it seems that one of the reasons is chance. The fact that a lot of this is determined randomly, stochastically, chaotically, unpredictably, arbitrarily, capriciously in the womb.  And throughout life, you're still exposed to all kinds of random events. Pollution, air pollution has been recently linked to anxiety, stress, and so on. A stressful environment, which is essentially random, none of your making, also affects you. So the studies are flawed not only because of poor research methods, not only because of problems in replication and frankly in the scientific publication system, because in science, when you reach negative results, forget about it, no one will publish your work. Only when you reach positive results. So there is a massive crisis with science, especially pseudosciences such as psychology. Early studies are in all likelihood very wrong. And we are not embarking on large-scale research to show or to test the likelihood of developing common mental illnesses such as even depression. It is very likely that mental illnesses such as anxiety and depression, and let alone personality disorders, are somehow caused by hundreds, if not thousands of genetic variations and mutations. Each one of them contributing an incremental tiny effect. How are we going to map all this? The headlines that scream, we found the gene that predisposes you to gambling or to shopaholism. This is con artistry. Even if the person interviewed is a neuroscientist, it's a bad scientist and in all likelihood a bad person. It's a narcissist or a psychopath. So we are losing trust in science because there is all pervasive ubiquitous dishonesty baked into the process. The same genes seem to be implicated in several different conditions, for instance. We know that the same genes are implicated in schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.  And now we are beginning to realize that randomness and chance plays such a crucial role in all this. Even much more important than abuse in early childhood or your upbringing or your parents or your peers. Much more crucial than all this is have you been exposed to a toxic cocktail in your mother's womb? That you've been smoking, drinking? Did she have a hormonal imbalance? A faulty transmission mechanism in the womb? Were you born, were you conceived with an identical twin who prayed on you? A condition described in the literature. This is all random. And so we need to get rid of the paradigm that it's either nature or nurture. And if we study genetics and we study, you know, pharmacology, we're going to solve this. Or if we study early childhood abuse, we're going to solve this. These things are not working. They've been tried for well over 100 years. It's not working. Hello, it's not working. We need to get off the high horse. We need to eat humble pie. And we need to admit that there is a lot we don't know. Actually, we don't know anything. I mentioned that hundreds of genetic variants push the developing brain into various states. Some of these states are vulnerable. And something tips the brain to develop a predisposition for this or that mental health condition. That something is very often randomness. And so it's a new view of mental illness development. And it's hard to stomach. It's hard to fathom. And it's hard to accept because it requires scientists to be humble, requires them to develop humility, requires them to admit the limitations of their craft and trade. And scientists are venglorious and grandiose. The vast majority of them. They believe that science has all the answers and well up to a point. But not beyond it. Not beyond it. And this is the crucial insight of the latest research. There is a lot that we don't know. But there is also a lot we can never know. We can never gauge or quantify or predict random, random developments or random processes in the womb. Never ever in principle. So this something else that is in the environment is out of our hands and inaccessible to our minds. If the mother has an infection during pregnancy, or she's had some traumatic experience, or she's a drug abuser or an alcoholic, et cetera, et cetera, she introduces into the game so many variables and parameters that no supercomputer can ever put together.  Random events that affect your growing brain after your bone are more crucial, far more crucial than any abuse you may have suffered. So we are beginning to reconceive of what's happening. The way our brains turn out is this seems to be the critical trajectory, critical path. And we need to begin to investigate this and make this a priority over the studies of trauma and over the studies of genetics. So chance, randomness is the first component. But there is another one much neglected, rarely mentioned trauma, generational trauma, not individual trauma, collective trauma. And we have been handed a golden opportunity by the God of history, COVID-19. COVID-19 is the largest collective trauma in the past 100 years, at least. And so it's a unique prism, it's a unique lens through which we can observe effects on mental illness in longitudinal studies across decades. The youth, the young of today have been so adversely scarred, wounded and affected by the pandemic that this is not going away. The youth of today is damaged for life, is broken for life, and is going to hand over this trauma to their ever decreasing number of children. We need to observe this process because it introduces the missing link in understanding the etiology of mental illness, why people become mentally ill. We know about nature, we know about nurture, we know about randomness, and now we need to add the missing link, the last component in the picture, and that would be generational trauma. So let us have a closer look at COVID. During the pandemic, according to recent studies, during the pandemic, there has been a shift in the personalities of everyone affected, including the personalities of adults. Now this sounds like a bland statement. Of course, a pandemic or any collective trauma would have an effect on all people, but personalities are supposed to be immutable, they're supposed to be unchangeable throughout the lifespan. They're fixed entities, they're core identities, and yet the personalities of adults exposed to this pandemic have changed, actually, have been in flux. Adults became less extroverted, less open, less agreeable, and less conscientious during the pandemic. The results were published in a journal article in PLOS-1. It's an archive, an online archive of studies. And so the study shows that the degree of change in personalities was roughly equivalent to a decade's worth of impact. So the blow of COVID transformed people so dramatically, it's as if they've aged 10 years in two, but adults were spared the worst.  Most young adults grew moodier, more emotional, disregulated and more sensitive to stress. The researchers in the study analyzed survey results from 7100 adults from January 2021 to February 2022 and compared these responses to earlier responses at the beginning of the pandemic, March to December 2020, and to responses in earlier years. So they had responses before the pandemic, responses in the early phase of the pandemic and responses after the pandemic, so to speak, or in the late phase of the pandemic. And the scholars, the researchers, they use what they call the Big Five Trades. Big Five Trades is one way of evaluating personalities. So we score people according to their levels of neuroticism, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness. During the early phase of the pandemic, 2020, the responses were consistent with the responses before the pandemic emerged. So people remained stable in the first two or three months, but then they fell apart. They were transformed beyond belief within months. The collective stress of the pandemic simply broke people to pieces and put them together in new ways. The disposition has changed pretty dramatically. And this goes to prove that the very construct of personality is very problematic and in all likelihood counterfactual, something that I've been saying for decades. Ideas such as individual, self, personality, these are late 19th century and early 20th century German ideas. They do not reflect reality. They are rigid. They are hierarchical. There's no such thing in reality. Personalities can change as we age. We do develop new habits, of course, like exercising. As people get older, they become all in all less neurotic, less extroverted and open, but more agreeable and more conscientious. So this is the normal development. Yet the pandemic reversed all this. Instead of becoming more agreeable and conscientious, there were declines in extroversion, in openness, but also in agreeableness and conscientiousness. Adults under 30 saw an increase in neuroticism in that period. So it seems that personalities were molded like so much clay by the global generational trauma. One of the researchers, Sutin from Florida State University said, becoming more mature is declining in neuroticism and increasing in agreeableness and conscientiousness. Yet we see the opposite for younger adults in the second year of the pandemic. People under age 65, there was no significant personality change relative to pre-pandemic use. So this is the only group where the personality hasn't changed. And Dr. Rodica Damian, Damian, associate professor of social psychology at the University of Houston, she wasn't involved in the research, but she said, the older you get, the more of a sense of identity you have, the more entrenched you are in your social roles. You know more who you are, so things are going to affect you less in some ways. It is important to point out that the observed personality changes in the study stemmed from the pandemic, but there were other social and political events which happened during this time period and prior to this time period. There was an election, there was a riot, there were major shootings, protests all over the world and so on and so forth. But a lot of it was the pandemic. It seems that COVID was one of the major stressors hitting everyone. That was the main thing that kept people home. So what happened to these people? Will these personality changes last somehow? In the past, in research we have done, we found no association between exposure to, for example, natural disasters and personality changes. One study suggested that New Zealand residents were relatively stable after the Christchurch earthquakes. But the COVID pandemic has not been a single pinpointed natural disaster. It's been an ongoing threat to life, limb and property. It has lasted more than two and a half years, it's still ongoing. So it seems that protracted or prolonged generational trauma does change the personality. And it remains to be seen if it will be lifelong, but I bet that it would be. I bet that it would be because studies of Holocaust survivors have demonstrated that their personalities were altered for life. Same with people who had lived through the First World War, the Second World War and the Spanish flu. So here we are with another factor which determines our identity life-long. We mentioned nature, we mentioned nurture, we mentioned chance and now we have generational trauma. Coronavirus pandemic, wrote the authors, has affected the entire globe and nearly every aspect of life. Early on in the pandemic, says Sootin, there was this emphasis on coming together and working together and supporting each other. And this may have made people feel more emotionally stable. That's something that kind of fell apart in the second year. Personalities don't change overnight, that's all that I'm saying. But I am saying that personalities are rivers, they're not ponds. They flow, they flow, they're in flux, they change. It's a kind of epigenetic thing, kind of, they're handed over. The trauma is handed over from one generation to the next. Suddenly says Damien, another scholar, suddenly your self-image has changed, your sense of identity has changed because you have just not gone to a party for so long that you're not sure if you can do it anymore. So we don't know whether adults will revert to old form but it seems that these changes are lifelong. Now, these are adults. When it comes to the young, it's a mega disaster, mega disaster. Rates of suicide are picking, climbing, rates of anxiety and depression are off the charts. They are less extroverted, more neurotic, way more moody and suicidal, totally dysfunctional in many areas of life. This is a generational trauma that's not going away. Many of them are angry and resentful for having lost critical years of their lives. They're undereducated. This is not going away. They're going to hand this over to their children. The transmission mechanisms are well known. Sutin says, I'm worried about young adults since their scores indicate that they could be at a higher risk of mental health struggles, unhealthy exercise or eating habits, or heightened challenges at school or work. Neuroticism is a very consistent predictor of mental health outcomes like depression and anxiety. And conscientiousness, which declined among the young, is very important for educational and work outcomes, as well as relationships and physical health. So, the most dramatic shifts in personality happened between the ages of 18 and 25, and these people were exposed the most, actually. At an age range where they should have taken on new responsibilities and they should have shifted their lifestyle. When they go to college or find their first jobs, at that age range, they were paralyzed at home, cowering, furious, frustrated, angry, falling apart. Damien says, if the changes in personality that they experience have some kind of snowball effect because it's a critical developmental period, then they might still see disadvantages later on. And, of course, I'm adding, hand over the trauma. So, the article is titled, Differential Personality Change, earlier and later in the coronavirus pandemic. In a longitudinal sample of adults in the United States, the authors are Suthin, Stefan and others. And it was published, as I said, in PLOS-1, which is a repository of academic papers. It was published in September 28, 2022. I'll read to you the abstract, as is my habit. Five-factor model personality traits, neuroticism, extroversion, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness are thought to be relatively impervious to environmental demands in adulthood. The coronavirus pandemic is an unprecedented opportunity to examine whether personality change during a stressful global event. Surprisingly, two previous studies found that neuroticism decreased early in the pandemic, whereas there was less evidence for change in the other four traits during this period. The present research used longitudinal assessments of personality from the Understanding America study to examine personality changes relatively earlier and later in the pandemic compared to pre-pandemic levels. Replicating the two previous studies, neuroticism declined very slightly in 2020 compared to pre-pandemic levels. There were not changes in the other four traits. But when personality was measured in 2021 and 2022, there was no significant change in neuroticism compared to pre-pandemic levels, but there were significant small declines in extroversion, openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness. The changes were about one-tenth of a standard deviation, which is equivalent to about one decade of normative personality change. These changes were moderated by age and ethnicity, but not by race and education. Strikingly, younger adults showed disrupted maturity in that they increased in neuroticism and declined in agreeableness and conscientiousness. Current evidence suggests the slight decrease in neuroticism early in the pandemic was short-lived and detrimental changes in other traits emerged over time. If these changes are enduring, this evidence suggests population-wide stressful events can slightly bend the trajectory of personality, especially in younger adults. An excellent study and the introduction of this study is a great introduction to personality, five-factor model, previous studies about personality changes and so on and so forth. So I recommend that you go and find the study and read at the very least the introduction. It's a great piece of work. To sum up, it seems that we are far less stable across a lifespan than we have thought. It seems that we are shaped and formed, mostly in the womb, where genetics and random events on a molecular level play an enormous role in determining who we are later on in life by shaping our brains. And then much later, environmental influences, nurture, education, abuse, early childhood adverse experiences, all these come into play, but they actually play a minor role. The major role is reserved to chance, randomness, and genetics. And generational traumas can affect everyone, regardless of biological, social, family background. It seems the generational trauma is a trump card, sorry for the pun, and a way to affect whole populations and alter their personalities in enduring ways. This is a totally new way of looking at psychology, personality psychology, and mental health.


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Holidays, you know, everybody loves them and they're fun, but a long time ago I decided the only thing I was doing is looking forward to the weekend and holidays I was doing something wrong. So now I don't even want to know what day it is


Today we're in 2 Corinthians chapter 1. We're going to be looking at verses 8 through 14 as we have just begun a new study here in 2 Corinthians. So I'll begin reading at verse 8. I'll read to verse 11. Give a couple of thoughts as a context to build and then we'll move into our study. 2 Corinthians chapter 1 beginning at verse 8, reading to verse 11. Paul writes, For we do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life. Yes, we have the sentence of death in ourselves and that we should not trust in ourselves but in God who raises the dead, who delivered us from so great a death and does deliver us in whom we trust that he will still deliver us. You also helping together in prayer for us that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many. Now Paul has been writing and remember with me in his introduction here in chapter 1 of 2 Corinthians that Paul had just told the Corinthians that it is God who comforts us in all he said of our in all our tribulation. In verse 4 he said who comforts us in all our tribulation that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God for as the sufferings of Christ abound in us so our consolation also abounds through Christ. So Paul had just told the Corinthians that God comforts us in all our tribulation and he refers to this as the sufferings of Christ. Now when he speaks concerning that in verse 5 as the sufferings of Christ abound in us. When he speaks concerning the sufferings of Christ one would have to ask the question what exactly would he be referring to when he says sufferings of Christ. It isn't just that we suffer as believers on behalf of the Lord Jesus Christ and it certainly doesn't mean that we are adding to his redemption through any suffering that we endure as believers. What he's saying is Christians have joined him in what is referred to often as the fellowship of suffering. You see difficulties, tribulation, afflictions are simply part of the Christian life and Jesus suffered and so will those who follow him. It just follows that if our master suffered then we too or being conformed into his image will also suffer. Paul made it very clear in Philippians 1.29 that it has been granted to you he said on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him but also to suffer for him. It's not only an act of grace for us to believe it is also an act of grace for us to endure affliction and it's for the Lord that you do this it's along with the Lord that you do this. He said in Philippians 3.10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of his suffering being conformed to his death. You see that's just being part that's just part of being a follower of Jesus Christ. To follow Jesus is to be put in the position of experiencing hardship because Jesus our wounded healer went through hardship and therefore those who follow him will also. When he was writing to the Colossians in chapter 124 he said I now rejoice in my sufferings for you and fill up in my flesh what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ for the sake of his body which is the church. He's simply saying that I still have some afflictions to go through before my race to glory is complete. There are things that I'll continue to endure until I see the Lord Jesus face to face and so going through hardship is not something that should surprise us. There are people who think that when they get saved that that's going to be an end to the struggles of their life that they're no longer going to have a hard time that it's going to be an easy road from that day on. I believe that when I first got saved I believe that now that I'm saved I'm not going to have difficulty anymore it's all done with it's all done away with and that was true for the first three or four days and then after that I started discovering that the road to heaven is very often paved with thorns.  Jesus on one occasion in Matthew 7 was speaking concerning people who built their house one built on sand the other built on a solid rock. The storms hit both of those houses. One remained because it was built on a rock the other folded because it was built on sinking sand. The interesting thing about that parable or that story is the fact that difficulties come not just to unbelievers but they come to believers also. But we understand that the difficulties that we go through and the afflictions that we go through are not without purpose that that God uses those things in our lives. In 1 Peter 4 verses 12 and 13 the apostle says beloved do not think it's strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you as though some strange thing happened to you but rejoice to the extent that you partake of Christ's suffering that when his glory is revealed you may also be glad with exceeding joy. You see it's the road to glory when you go through these strange trials. We know that we're not alone in this because sometimes we can feel like we've been isolated and we're the only ones who are going through these kinds of things but Peter later on in the same letter in 1 Peter chapter 5 verses 8 and 9 said like this he said be sober be vigilant because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion sinking whom he may devour resist him steadfast in the faith knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world so you're not alone. Sometimes what the enemy wants to do is isolate us to make us think that we're the only people in the world going through these kinds of things and the apostle Peter was making it very clear no you're not alone these are the kinds of things that believers go through and so as you go through these things they are not without purpose because according to verse 6 if we're afflicted it is for your consolation and salvation which is effective for enduring the same sufferings which we also suffer or if we are comforted it is for your consolation and salvation so Paul's patient endurance is a testimony hang in there hang in there and learn hang in there and grow because according to verse 7 our hope for you is steadfast because we know that as you are partakers of the sufferings so also you will partake of the consolation so one you may go through suffering but you will be consoled but two what you go through equips you to help others who are going to be going through the same thing and that's what the Lord does our hope in the Lord is steadfast because the depth of consolation will balance the depth of suffering and so when you go through tough times there's basically two things that happen one is it teaches you to encourage other people because you get this understanding experience does that for you I wonder how many of you moms in this room when your baby cries if you when your baby would cry or if you're a new mom when your baby cries do you like to let the baby cry and if your mama like Marie Marie is the kind of mom would spend if the baby began to cry she immediately would go to want to see what's wrong and then she'd want to pick the baby up and then she'd want to hold it now I came from a background where I thought well you got to let the kid cry you know sometimes they cry sometimes you know kids cry you know it's let them cry we used to say let them cry it out that's before they heard the words I'll give you something to cry about no this is when they're real small and and any mom or any dad for that matter in this room knows that yeah there are sometimes the baby will cry sometimes they're hungry they cry sometimes when they're very small sometimes because they're in pain they'll cry sometimes because they're afraid those are the three basic reasons small babies will cry they're hungry they're in pain or they're afraid something scared them that's the general sometimes they're hurt and so as a mom you hear the baby crying and your first response is going to be I wonder if they're okay I wonder if they're hungry I wonder if they're in pain and wonder if something scared them and if they cry for a little while not too long you go and you pick them up but I have been with people when one of the babies is crying and someone who's never had a baby never been a mom or a dad has turned to the mom and has said to the mom just let them cry it out they'll be okay and and I smile at them and I think shut up what do you know you don't have a baby you've never had one you don't know what it feels like as a mom or a dad to love some little bundle of joy so much that just to see them cry bothers you you don't know that feeling yet so it's always wise to keep your advice to yourself you may think well they're spoiling that kid then don't spoil yours you know and that's cool with me don't spoil yours but don't tell me how to spoil mine and so there's that attitude we can have but what happens is I had the same mentality I thought well let them cry it out then I had our babies then we have our grandchildren and then something inside of me has changed suddenly I want to make sure they're okay because I've gained experience over time and I've learned how to comfort those who are in need and I can also help young parents in that because Maria and I have been there and we can say understand it completely you know yeah sometimes you want to just let them maybe they're just kind of kind of just fussy you know and they're not wanting to go to bed understood understood but maybe maybe you need to pick them up sometimes maybe they just need some mama time so we understand those kinds of things that's kind of how it works isn't it you you go through something and you learn through that you gain experience and then you're able to help others to go through that that's how it works because experience that you've gained very often is just a great teacher when you go through pain in the things of the Lord and you begin to grow and you're understanding it's not just for you it's not so you can just basically hoard that experience to yourself when you've gone through something some form of affliction perhaps some suffering some persecution or whatever it's it's there not simply to establish within you a stronger faith in Christ it's not there just to purge you of areas of weakness perhaps or a lack of faith but it's also there to help you to be a comfort to other people and you comfort other people you give consolation because you've received consolation the consolation you've received is what you give to somebody else and so Paul has been speaking concerning that because when we go through these times and and we endure it's an encouragement for other people and and it encourages us as we go through and so Paul's been speaking concerning this and he moves in to verse eight now to continue it by saying for we do not want you to be ignorant that word ignorant is just a word that means without understanding or without knowledge it's one of those words that you don't use to americans very often because americans get upset if you say man what are you ignorant because they see it as an insult i i learned that the hard way i you know i've read the bible a long time and the word ignorant means without knowledge that's what it means so i was speaking to somebody this was over 30 years ago now but i was speaking to somebody one time and i said they said well something or other and i said well that's because you're ignorant but i didn't mean it i didn't mean it like you know in a slam i didn't mean that they said oh well you know they got all upset i said well you know what lighten up okay you're stupid no i didn't say that either i said i'm sorry the word doesn't mean what i didn't intend i had to apologize i said i didn't mean it in an insulting fashion forgive me the word ignorant simply means without knowledge or to be uninstructed and it's a good bible word and paul uses it we don't want you to be ignorant we don't want you to be without instruction brothers and sisters brethren of our trouble which came to us in asia that we were burdened beyond measure above strength so that we despaired even of life and so he begins to share with them about some unnamed trouble he says we don't want to be ignorant brethren of our trouble which came to us in asia and this he doesn't mention exactly what it is but there are those who believe that what he's referring to is something that had taken place that is recorded in acts 19 where he had entered into the city of of Ephesus and while he was there there was a man by the name of Demetrius who was a silversmith and he made his money by crafting small shrines that were dedicated to the goddess diana and when Demetrius saw paul and the ministry that that was associated with christianity these people were preaching about christ and the one god Demetrius got upset because he said that this paul has been going throughout the province and has been turning people away from diana he said it's it's a fact that we make a lot of money in this particular craft that we have and he's undermining saying that diana and things fashioned with our hands are not true gods because paul actually stirred up people by saying things that they didn't want to hear isn't that amazing i mean he actually said things that were true concerning god and how to be right with god that people didn't want to hear and they actually got so mad or riot ensued and they wanted to do them great harm and and they were so upset over this and it may be that uh that that event that had taken place in Ephesus that paul is speaking about an uproar because of his his impact on idolatry especially as said the worship of diana but what's interesting i want you to see this is how he says we do not want you to be ignorant brethren of our trouble which came to us in asia and by the way asia as we associate the name asia very often you'll see asia and you think in terms of the of china or japan that's not asia that's this is asia as is in reference to to uh the region of the world where israel inhabits that that actually was called at that time asia and so he's not speaking concerning china japan or the far east he's speaking about his particular region but he says we were burdened beyond measure above strength so that we disparate even of life i want you to note this there was a toll and i'm going to share a little bit about this there was a toll that paul actually had place on him he said we were burdened beyond measure notice that we were burdened above strength we went through incredible stress above human strength and it even caused us to despair of life when he says despair that speaks of that which has no escape there's no exit from oppression now the carinthians were unaware of this stress they knew that he had gone through incredible events but they could not understand his personal cost he's saying you are aware of my affliction but you're ignorant of the cost that i have paid you can be aware of some things but unless you have paid the price like paul did you cannot understand what he's gone through some things we have we have a quick response to once again we want to bring a word of comfort to somebody and sometimes we overstep our bounds when my mom had her husband of 53 years died suddenly somebody approached my mom over 12 years ago and said to my mom i understand how you feel my mom was not the kind of woman that would let you get away with that she just wasn't and my mom said in response really have you lost your husband and the answer came immediately no i haven't so my mom's immediate response was then you don't know how i feel and and that's simply true we may theoretically think i know because well i've lost something you know my cat died i understand how you feel about losing your husband no loss has it affects us differently and we have to be careful we have to be careful that we don't over extend our boundaries and over identifying with people and paul is simply saying here what i've gone through created such incredible stress it is something you wouldn't even be able to understand is what he's saying because you haven't gone through it you you haven't experienced those kinds of things and so in ministry which is what paul is referring to there are those who have they basically and i'm going to say this in an honest fashion i'm my mother's son i'm going to say this in an in an honest fashion and it may not make sense at this moment but i can tell you that a lot of times well-meaning people say just the absolute wrong thing they just say the wrong thing jobe goes through some tremendous pain and nobody could understand and he has his comforters who come and are seated next to him and for several days they say nothing which was the best thing they could have done because when they began to open their mouth it was a mess they began to blame him they began to say surely you have some hidden sin because god doesn't allow things like this to actually fall upon the righteous that you should lose your family and that you should lose your land and that you should lose your your wealth and and everything surely you have sinned in some great fashion and they go on and on and on you've read the book of jobe and they're arguing with jobe and jobe keeps on saying i haven't done those things i am not guilty as charged the best thing they could have done for this righteous man was just to have wept with him there are times you need to weep for those who weep you don't need words you don't need to try and find the words sometimes the best comfort that you can give to somebody is just to cry with them just to look them in the eye and cry with them and to say i don't understand i have the habit of doing that because in the past i have made the mistake of saying i understand when i didn't and then they challenged me on that and the lord says you don't understand that you haven't been there so let them weep let them grieve love them and encourage them and help them i've learned that i remember doing a funeral this young woman's father had died and and she i had walked up to her and i'd said how are you doing and she says oh i'm doing fine pastor i'm doing great and then a little while later just before i go out to give the message i walked up and i said again and how are you now and she started swearing and it was just a moment before that she was saying i'm fine and the lord said to me a long time ago these people are feeling all kinds of emotion and so don't try and and direct them into the proper area try to just allow them to be what they're at and allow them to feel what they're feeling and encourage them to come out of that through the love of christ paul is speaking and he's saying listen you are aware that there are things that happened i wouldn't have the ignorant of these things how we despaired even of life and sometimes if a man like paul actually admits to despairing there will be somebody out there to try and tell him paul where's your faith you shouldn't feel that way you shouldn't go through those things you shouldn't experience a sorrow don't you believe in heaven don't you believe in a god who is in control of all things and very often that kind of advice comes from somebody who is really not going through gone through too much in their life yet very often that's what it is now he's saying you're aware of my affliction but you also are ignorant of the cost that i've paid and again obviously that's normal how could somebody know all the details of somebody else's life spiritual unawareness or immaturity may sometimes blind people to the costs that are paid by others but paul is making it clear he says i have remained faithful in my ministry to jesus and i've remained strong in my concern and love for you yes he says we don't want you to be ignorant brethren of our trouble which came to us in asia that we were burdened beyond measure above strength so that we despaired even of life yes we had the sentence of death in ourselves that we should not trust in ourselves but in god who raises the dead now when he says yes we had the sentence of death that word sentence speaks of a judicial sentence it's an official verdict with no hope of reprieve he said we came to the place of no human hope we were completely without strength and could not save ourselves but at the point where i was without strength and incapable of saving myself god stepped in he's saying and came to my rescue and the point is that we should not trust in ourselves but god who raises the dead now god raises the dead therefore he's able to rescue me from death's grip i was despairing of life but god is able to rescue me it says in psalm 116 verses 8 and 9 for you oh lord have delivered my soul from death my eyes from tears my feet from stumbling that i may walk before the lord in the land of the living so he's saying do not trust in your own abilities trust in his now that's the heart of the christian faith trust in the lord with all your heart and lean on into thine own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path trust in the lord that's the heart of our christian faith holding fast to him trusting in the lord knowing that he is in control like jesus said in john 15 five i am the vine you are the branches he who abides in me and i in him bears much fruit for without me you can do nothing now without me you can do nothing but paul says in philippians 4 13 i can do all things through christ to strengthen me so on the one hand without him i can do nothing but on the other hand but with him i can do all things and that's how it works notice in chapter 3 verse 5 how he says not that we are sufficient of ourselves to think of anything as being from ourselves but our sufficiency is from god notice what he says in chapter 4 verse 7 we have this treasure in earth and vessels that the excellence of the power may be of god and not of us and so the lord god gives you strength and ability to go beyond what you think your complete capabilities are god is able to be there and strengthen you so that you can go through what you think you can't go through again recent events my sister rebecca had to take care of so much of the arrangements for my mom's home going going in and and on a couple of occasions when i was with her and we were about to perform some some ministry when we were about to bury my mom as we were walking together my sister put her hands over her face and she began to shake her head as she was walking with me and we're just about to to do the burial and and she started saying i can't do this i can't do this i can't do this i wonder how many of you have ever been there i can't do this i can't do this and she just began to repeat that i can't do this and i stood next to her as we're walking and i said yes you can't and you will yes you can and you will because we can do all things through christ who strengthens us we can do this we will make it through we will get through we can do this how can i say that because it been there she's been there too i'm simply reminding her god has been there god is still there don't forget don't forget what i'm saying now may apply to some in this room and some of you have yet to experience it but you will you will be in that place one day where you say you're throwing your hands up in the end you're saying i cannot do this but god's word says i can without him i can do nothing but with him i can do all things because he strengthens me and i can make it through and not only make it through but i can come through it on the other side with victory and joy as more than a conqueror because i'm going to keep my eyes on the lord paul was making it very clear that though he was going through tough times he knew that the lord was strengthening him and was teaching him not to trust in his own strength he says in verse 10 who delivered us from so great a death and does deliver us in whom we trust that he will still deliver us he says who delivered who delivers and will deliver past present future he's saying god has been faithful god is now faithful and god will continue to be faithful in the future the psalmist in psalm 344 says i sought the lord he answered me he delivered me from all my fears psalm 56 13 for you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling that i may walk before god in the light of life second peter 2 9 the lord knows how to rescue godly men from trials and to hold the unrighteous for the day of judgment while continuing their punishment god is able because god is faithful he's been faithful in the past he's faithful now he will remain faithful in the future hold fast to the lord don't let go don't let the enemy whisper in your ear that you're not going to make it it's a done deal if you've got a relationship with jesus christ he's already got that work you have been justified and you have been glorified in him it's a done deal it's already done in god's mind he's already completed the work that he began he'll continue it as long as we're alive but in his mind it's a done deal it's complete and what i need to do and what you need to do is simply get in the flow of what his spirit wants to do and to trust him every step of the way why because he will never allow us to be destroyed or defeated it may appear at one moment it may seem like we're not going to make it through but that's not true we will make it through why because my god is with me he doesn't forsake me he never leaves me he brings me through he walks with me every step of the way that's how it works that's how it works amen that's how it works and it does work that way god is a good god and he never never ceases his work in our lives and verse 11 he says you also helping together in prayer for us that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the gift granted to us through many well paul is simply saying we need continued prayer support we need your prayers one of the things that the church sometimes fails to understand is the power of prayer i've heard people say in the past you know prayer works and prayer doesn't work god works you know it's not my prayer it's my god and i take my needs my supplications my desires whatever they may be and i cast them at his feet and i say father i'm going to trust you and and i know that with you then all things are possible and so all he's basically saying is continue to keep us in prayer because as i'm opening up and sharing with you concerning this trouble how we were burdened in all and how we had the sentence of death we were despairing even of life i want you to know that god came through because god has in the past god does in the present and god will continue into the future but he does all of this because it's his will plus because you've been praying for us so continue please to lift us in prayer now he goes on in verse 12 for our boasting is this the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of god and more abundantly toward you for we are not writing any other things to you than what you read or understand now i trust you will understand even to the end as also you have understood us in part that we are your boast as you also are ours in the day of the lord jesus now notice with being verse 12 how he says our boasting is this the testimony of our conscience you need to remember in our introduction how i pointed out that second Corinthians is paul's most open-hearted letter and that in second Corinthians the apostle paul was actually responding to 21 separate accusations that had lodged against him and so what he's about to do right now is answer accusations because they were saying things about him remember infiltrators had entered into the Corinthian church false teachers who are beginning to influence the sheep and the way that they were doing that is they were calling into question paul's character his word even his his looks they were calling into question the mighty apostle paul and comparing themselves with him the Corinthians had forgotten who their spiritual father is that's why he had said though you may have 10 000 instructors yet you have but one father i begot you in the gospel that's why he reminds them of his relationship with them because these infiltrators have entered in people who didn't love the sheep and they're doing what they can to undermine the ministry of the apostle paul do infiltrators still exist absolutely have we had people enter into this congregation to do that yes often many times what have they done sometimes they've left their tracks on the on the church pews and our people at the end had gone through cleaning up as they do and they've found these tracks that have been left there for you sometimes they've come onto the church grounds and during church services they've gone to the cars and they've put their tracks on each and every car that they could get to that's one of the reasons why we have guys out there on sunday mornings it's not because you can't find a parking space well some of you can't but it's not all of you it's because it's because we've had people who come on to the campus in order to bring their false doctrines we've had people out in the bookstore debating and trying to draw people to themselves do they do that to this day absolutely how do they go about it they don't always speak of doctrine what they like to do is call into question other things in the in the life of paul they were calling into question other things related to him and so what we have a chance to see here is some of the charges because in verses 12 and 13 he's going answer two of their charges now one charge is found in verse 12 i want you to see this he says our boasting is this the testimony of our conscience that we conducted ourselves in the world in simplicity and godly sincerity not with fleshly wisdom but by the grace of god and more abundantly to you he is now defending himself from the charge that he's been taking advantage of the Corinthians that he's a hypocrite and that he uses fleshly wisdom a second charge is found in verse 13 when he writes for we are not writing any other things to you than what you read or understand now i trust you will understand even to the end the second charge is that he's not transparent that he uses innuendo and because he's using innuendo you can't trust him because he doesn't speak straight because he's not telling you the complete truth so he begins by saying in verse 12 our boasting is this the testimony of our conscience now when he speaks of the testimony of his conscience that word conscience is that which distinguishes between what is morally good and morally bad for paul keeping his conscience clean was of utmost importance he said in acts 24 16 i strive always to keep my conscience clear before god and man you see the accusation that he acted holy but wasn't sincere and was using fleshly wisdom and tactics was something he had to deal with so how did he keep his conscience clear and how can we also have clean consciences you see in ministry you cannot you cannot preach with power if you don't have a clean conscience you can't if i was out there and i was i was whatever if i were drinking you know i was out there drinking i could say you know what i passed 21 a long time ago but i if i was out there social drinking and all i couldn't come up here and tell you guys you know what stay away from things in the flesh i couldn't do that if i was playing with the internet and looking at porn sites i could never come up here and say to you you live a sexually moral and pure life if i was going out on my wife or lusting after other women i could never stand up here and teach a series on marriage if i didn't love my children do the best that i could to try and raise them in the ways of the lord i couldn't stand up and teach a a message concerning raising kids to love jesus you have to have a clean conscience you can't be the kind of person who does one thing in secret and then preaches something otherwise i knew of a pastor who on saturday night was doing coke he was taking money from the church buying cocaine and then on sunday was preaching when confronted he said you know what he said after repenting i just sensed the power of god in my ministry and so i i yeah i do the cocaine on saturday but i feel so bad on sunday that god annoys me and and that's true i'm telling you a true story and and and when confronted this is sin you're robbing the church you're involved in drugs he didn't see it he didn't see it you cannot preach messages you don't live now do you always live to the fullest of that message no we all sin and fall short of the glory of god we all do i i i want to live every message to the utmost do i i do my best am i perfect yes no am i perfect 99.9 no but am i a hypocrite a hypocrite is someone who willfully wears a mask to appear something that they're not i don't know very many hypocrites i don't even know if i know any because there are very few of them who actually put a mask on to pretend there's something different there are many though who don't live up to the gospel myself included does that disqualify you no then what qualifies you to do your best before the lord to have a clean conscience and paul said that's what he did he says i strive always to keep my conscience clear before god and man now how did he keep his conscience clear and how can we have clean consciences well here he says that he lived in simplicity and godly sincerity so the word simplicity means without selfishness or pretense or hypocrisy it's like what we're called to in psalm 51 6 where it says surely you desire truth in the inner parts you teach me wisdom in the inmost place it's what it says in joshua 24 14 now therefore fear the lord serve him in sincerity and in truth put away the gods which your father served on the other side of the river and in egypt serve the lord so he says i serve god with simplicity without selfishness without pretense without hypocrisy and he serves god with godly sincerity godly sincerity speaks of a perfect openness with purity of motive this can sound self-serving forgive me if it sounds that way to you when i grew up as a little boy my dad more than once told me david you wear your heart on your sleeve and that's not a good thing you need to shut up is what he was saying you need to stop being open-hearted because what you see from this pulpit is how i've always been but as a little boy to where i am now i've always been this is who i am this is the way it is you like me that's good you don't like me then i'll pray for you that you will but if you choose not to that's your choice that's just the way it is why because i've always felt that sincerity and openness is very important i really do because and i can tell you this and might as well go a little further and some will think this is self-serving but i'll tell you my my kids are the same way my my mom was that way i always knew where i stood with my mom and you would too if you knew her you would know and my kids always know where they stand with me to this day and they're all adults they're not babies anymore they know where they stand with me because i've always had an openness and i want it to be a godly sincerity i want it to be real i want you in this church to be able to come to a church pastored by a man who's willing to say this is who i am this is what goes on this is how it works my grandson Josiah is going to turn 10 he's going to turn 10 years old on sunday and when my daughter Corinne conceived him my daughter Corinne wasn't married and as her father of course a man who did his best to raise her to love the lord and fear god and do what is right right it broke my heart it broke my heart when she came in and said to me daddy i don't know what to say i'm pregnant and i wept and i sought counsel from pastors who've been in the ministry a long time and i said my my daughter is pregnant she's unmarried what is your counsel i had more than one say to me david your church doesn't need to know your private life your church doesn't need to know it's between you your daughter your family and jesus some of you were with me 10 years ago and you'll know exactly what i did i had more than one say keep it to yourself am i the kind of person who can do that i'm not so what did i do i came out on a sunday i gave a bible study and i shared an announcement with my church i've become a grandfather my daughter conceived out of wedlock she repented god has restored her we have forgiven her her and we've welcomed her into the grace of god and i had my wife bring my infant at that time grandson josiah out and i held him in front of everybody who was here and i said this is my grandson i love him he's mine opened open open people left the church how can i go to a church with a pastor who has sinful children i can tell you i will not tell you stories i can tell you i can tell you some of the painful things we've heard over the years that hurt terribly i can tell you but i would rather have godly sincerity and openness what you see is what you get than to hide and by the way why would i hide my grandson whom i love with every beat of my heart why would i hide him god forgave his mama why won't i i did i did from the moment i told my daughter when she said daddy i'm pregnant forgive me first thing i said to her is where did i fail well what did i do wrong help me know secondly she said daddy you didn't fail i chose to sin i said i must have done something wrong what did i do wrong secondly i said this to her i said baby there is nothing you can ever do that would make me not love you i love you and i'll love your baby and we have every moment i knew she had that little one in her womb to this very day he is my heart because that's the grace of god and that's what believers are supposed to do and yet i had people who are saying things about me and my family you wouldn't believe how the church devours one another how painful you know sheep are not dangerous but they still bite what you see is what you get i want to be and again it sounds self-serving if you're a visitor here i don't always talk about myself sometimes i ask people to come up and talk about me on my behalf but i see this as an open letter and i want to have an open heart with you what is the key how can you continue to minister simplicity godly sincerity and he's dealing with that because they're saying that he uses in your window they're saying he's a hypocrite he says not with fleshly wisdom in other words i don't allow carnal thinking that is not concerned with god's glory that is really grounded in the flesh it speaks of profit pleasure worldly honor it's based on devising plans to promote churches or causes not the cause of jesus i don't do my ministry that way you see when a pastor relies on fleshly wisdom there'll be a lack of spiritual life in the body there's going to be a basic ignorance of the ways of the lord and the church is going to end up carnal somebody once said people have various ideas about spiritual formation and usually they revolve around some kind of legalism or some kind of program those things have nothing to do with spiritual formation being with jesus being formed into his image that's the key thing the moment we center on programs were doomed to failure a pastor cannot rely on fleshly wisdom they have to rely on the direction of the spirit and that's what paul is saying he does he doesn't use fleshly wisdom it's by the grace of god and more abundantly toward you than any ministers and he says in verse 13 we're not writing any other things to you than what you read or understand no i trust you will understand even to the end it's also you have understood us in part that we are your boast as you also are ours in the day of the lord jesus there's no innuendo my speech is straight there's no hidden meaning i'm not writing with worldly cunning i'm not evasive in how i minister to you i tell you the truth is what he's saying he's not a paper tiger and he doesn't put on one thing with them in order to get something from them again seeing that this is a book that speaks of personal things for a minister the most important thing for them to do is give the word of god in an uncompromising fashion with no apology it's god's word and it's what god has called us to be obedient to so for a minister to to not be straightforward is really a weakness and he's making it very clear i don't write with innuendo i'm not hinting to you i personally don't like it when people hint i don't like it when marie and i got together and got married my wife my wife would sometimes hint she would say it would be nice if and and i would say yeah it would be you know i'd be nice i'm so thirsty it'd be nice if i had some water i'd say yeah probably would be when you get yourself some get me some too i mean what so very early in our relationship she can tell you this very early in our relationship this is what i told her some of you may think it's mean but then again i'm kind of a straight talking person and so i said marie listen if you want something ask me just be direct but if you hint i guarantee you i'm not going to go for it i guarantee you because i don't like it when people hint and i have to tell you i'm just telling you i mean you may someday you see me if you hint to me i'll just smile at you yeah it would be wouldn't it wouldn't it be nice yeah it would but what marie has learned is if you want it ask for it if you want me to do something ask me to but if you say boy look at the trash has been piling up for a while i'll say yeah it has huh too bad the kids moved out they're going to throw it away for you so i really feel it important and paul's saying this that when you speak you need to speak clearly without innuendo it needs to be clear it needs to be straight my philosophy is this and i take it from scripture if somebody doesn't like me i want them to be able to clearly say why why not one of those kind of eggs i just don't like them i want them to be able to say i don't like them because he's this this this and this i want it to be very clear and so what i learned to do a long time ago guys is just say it clearly just say it clearly this is what god's word says let's do it this is what god's word says let's obey it this is what god's word says it's what we're supposed to practice and if you do that there are those who will listen saying i want to do what god says there are others who will say oh how harsh or how judgmental or where's his tolerance or where's the love and they'll find every reason and excuse to continue in their sin that they can find because when they're convicted they do one of two things either they repent or they run but you can't do both simultaneously and the holy spirit brings conviction the wisest thing to do is repent because if you run somewhere else don't think that god won't show up over there he does and when he shows up over there he'll say the same thing and then when he says it again then you run someplace else and then when you run there he shows up there because he loves you so much he doesn't let you get away with it have you noticed that he doesn't let you get away with it he doesn't let you run he is his spirit has been called the hound of heaven and he pursues you until he corners you so i learned a long time ago busted okay jesus what do you want what do you want me to do and that comes from just reading the word and i i've always appreciated the ministers who do not use in your window we just say it straight this is what it says let's do it i appreciate those ministers because i know where i stand with them and i know where i stand with the lord and that to me is very important so paul's making it very clear that he tells them the truth and ultimately and i'll close it with this he says i trust that you'll understand even to the end as also you have understood us in part that we are your boast as you also are ours in the day of the lord jesus christ you are our boast and we boast about you in other words we're going to be proud of each other on judgment day we're going to stand before the lord together knowing what god had done and we will rejoice because as i ministered the word to you and you were right with the lord you blessed my heart to cause me to continue giving the word of god so that you could continue to be strong in jesus christ and the day comes when we're together before jesus we'll glory together what god has done with us and through us and for us and that's the hope of every pastor