s of the gate, and desired them to signify my arrival to one of the Secretaries, and let him know, I there waited His Majesty's command. I had an answer in about an hour, that His Majesty, attended by the Royal Family, and great officers of the court, was coming out to receive me. I advanced a hundred yards. The Emperor and his train lighted from their horses, the Empress and ladies from their coaches, and I did not perceive there any fright or concern. I lay on the ground to kiss His Majesty's and the Empress's hands. I told His Majesty, that I was come according to my promise, and with the license of the Emperor and my Master, to have the honour of seeing so mighty a monarch, and to offer him any service in my power, consistent with my duty to my own Prince.  Neither could I reasonably conceive, that the Emperor would discover the secret, while I was out of his power, wherein, however, it soon appeared I was deceived. I shall not trouble the reader with the particular account of my reception at this court, which was suitable to the generosity of so great a Prince, nor of the difficulties I was in for want of a house and bed, being forced to lie on the ground wrapped in my coverlet. End of Chapter 7, Part 1 Part 1, Chapter 8 of Gulliver's Travels This is a LibriVox recording, all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Lizzie Driver Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift Part 1, Chapter 8 The Author by a Lucky Accident finds means to leave Blefescue, and, after some difficulties, returns safe to his native country. Three days after my arrival, walking out of curiosity to the northeast coast of the island, I observed, about half a league off in the sea, somewhat that they looked like a boat overturned. I pulled off my shoes and stockings, and, wailing two or three hundred yards, I found the object to approach nearer by force of the tide, and then plainly saw it to be a real boat, which I supposed might by some tempest have been driven from a ship. Whereupon I returned immediately towards the city, and desired his Imperial Majesty to lend me twenty of his tallest vessels he had left, after the loss of his fleet, and three thousand seamen under the command of his vice admiral. This fleet sailed round, while I went back the shortest way to the coast, where I first discovered the boat. I found the tide had driven it still nearer. The seamen were all provided with cordage, which I had beforehand twisted to a sufficient strength. When the ships came up, I stripped myself and waded till I came within a hundred yards off the boat, after which I was forced to swim till I got up to it. The seamen threw me the end of the cord, which I fastened to a hole in the four part of the boat, and to the other end to a man of war. But I found all my labour to little purpose, for, being out of my depth, I was not able to work. In this necessity I was forced to swim behind and push the boat forward, as often as I could with one of my hands, and the tide favouring me I advanced so far, that I could just hold up my chin and feel the ground. I rested two or three minutes, and then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea was no higher than my armpits. And now, the most labourous part being over, I took out my other cables, which were stowed in one of the ships, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to the nine vessels which attended me. The wind being favourable, the seamen towed, and I shoved, until we arrived within forty yards of the shore. And, waiting till the tide was out, I got dry to the boat, and by assistance of two thousand men, with ropes and engines, I made a shift to turn it on its bottom, and found it was but little damaged. I shall not trouble the reader with the difficulties I was under, by the help of certain paddles, which cost me ten days making, to get my boat to the Royal Port of Lefescue, where a mighty concourse of people appeared upon my arrival, full of wonder at the sight of so prodigious a vessel. I told the Emperor that my good fortune had thrown this boat in my way, to carry me to some place whence I might return into my native country, and begged his Majesty's orders for getting materials to fit it up, together with his license to depart, which, after some kind expostulations, he was pleased to grant. I did very much wonder, in all this time, not to have heard of any express, relating to me from our Emperor to the Court of Lefescue. But I was after what given privately to understand, that his Imperial Majesty, never imagining I had the least notice of his designs, believed I was only gone to Lefescue in performance of my promise, according to the license he had given me, which was well known at our court, and would return in a few days when this ceremony was ended. But he was at last in pain at my long absence, and, after consulting with the treasurer and the rest of that cable, a person of quality was dispatched, with the copy of the articles against me. This envoy had instructions to represent to the monarch of Lefescue, the great leniency of his master, who was content to punish me no farther than with the loss of my eyes. The title fled from justice, and if I did not return within two hours, I should be deprived of my title of Nardek, and declared a traitor. The envoy further added, that in order to maintain the peace and amnesty between both empires, his master expected that his brother of Lefescue would give orders to have me sent back to Lilliput, bound hand and foot, to be punished as a traitor. The emperor of Lefescue, having taken three days to consult, returned an answer consisting of many civilities and excuses. He said, that as for sending me bound, his brother knew it was impossible, that, although I had deprived him of his fleet, yet he owed great obligations to me, for many good offices I had done him in making the peace. That, however, both their majesties would soon be made easy, for I had found a prodigious vessel on the shore, able to carry me on the sea, which he had given orders to fit up, with my own assistance and direction, and he hoped in a few weeks, both empires would be freed from so insupportable an incumbrance. With this answer the envoy returned to Lilliput, and the monarch of Lefescue related to me all that had passed, offering me at the same time, but under the strictest confidence, his gracious protection, if I would continue in his service. Wherein, although I believed him sincere, yet I resolved never more to put any confidence in princes or ministers, where I could possibly avoid it. And therefore, with all due acknowledgments for his favourable intentions, I humbly begged to be excused. I told him, that since fortune, whether good or evil, had thrown a vessel in my way, I was resolved to venture myself on the ocean, rather than be an occasion of difference between two such mighty monarchs. Neither did I find the emperor at all displeased, and I discovered, by a certain accident, that he was very glad of my resolution, and so were most of his ministers. These considerations moved me to hasten my departure, somewhat sooner than I intended. To which the court, impatient to have me gone, very readily contributed. Five hundred workmen were employed to make two sails to my boat, according to my directions, by quilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen together. I was at the pains of making ropes and cables, by twisting ten, twenty or thirty of the thickest and strongest of theirs. A great stone that I happened to find, after a long search by the seashore, served me for an anchor. I had the tallow of three hundred cows for greasing my boat, and other uses. I was at incredible pains in cutting down some of the largest timber trees, for oars and masts, wherein I was, however, much assisted by his majesty's ship carpenters, who helped me in smoothing them after I'd done the rough work. In about a month, when all was prepared, I sent to receive his majesty's commands and to take my leave. The emperor and royal family came out of the palace.  So did the empress and young princes of the blood. His majesty presented me with fifty purses of two hundred sprugs apiece, together with his picture at full length, which I immediately put into one of my gloves, to keep it from being hurt. The ceremonies at my departure were too many to trouble the reader with at this time. I stored the boat with the carcasses of a hundred oxen and three hundred sheep, with bread and drink proportionable, and as much meat ready-dressed as four hundred cooks could provide. It took with me six cows and two bulls alive, with as many ewes and rams, intending to carry them into my own country and propagate the breed. And to feed them on board I had a good bundle of hay and a bag of corn. I would gladly have taken a dozen of the natives, but this was a thing the emperor would by no means permit. And besides, a diligent surgeon to my pockets, his majesty engaged my honour, not to carry away any of his subjects, although with their own consent and desire. Having thus repaired all things as well as I was able, I set sail on the twenty-fourth day of September, 1701, at six in the morning. And when I had gone about four leagues to the northward, the wind being at southeast, at six in the evening I described a small island, about half a league to the northwest. I advanced forward and cast anchor on the lee side of the island, which seemed to be uninhabited. I then took some refreshment and went to my rest. I slept well, and as I conjectured, at least six hours, for I found the day broke in two hours after I awaked. It was a clear night. I ate my breakfast before the sun was up, and heaving anchor, the wind being favourable, I steered the same course that I had done the day before, wherein I was directed by my pocket compass. My intention was to reach, if possible, one of those islands which I had reason to believe, later the north-east of Andi Amsland. I discovered nothing all that day, but upon the next, about three in the afternoon, when I had, by my computation, made twenty-four leagues from Lefiskew. I described a sail steering to the southeast. My course was due east. I hailed her, but could get no answer, yet I found I gained upon her, for the wind slackened. I made all the sail I could, and in half an hour she spied me, then hung out her ancient and discharged a gun. It is not easy to express the joy I was in upon the unexpected hope of once more seeing my beloved country, and the dear pledges I left in it. The ship slackened her sails, and I came up with her between five and six in the evening, September twenty-six. But my heart leaped within me to see her English colours. I put my cows and sheep into my coat pockets, and got on board with all my little cargo of provisions. The vessel was an English merchant man, returning from Japan, by the north and south seas. The captain, Mr John Biddle of Depford, a very civil man and an excellent sailor. We were now in the latitude of thirty degrees south. There were about fifty men in the ship, and here I met an old comrade of mine, one Peter Williams, who gave me a good character to the captain. This gentleman treated me with kindness, and desired I would let him know what place I had come from last, and whether I was bound. Which I did in a few words. But he thought I was raving, and that the dangers I underwent had disturbed my head. Whereupon I took my black heathen and sheep out of my pocket, which, after great astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity. I then showed him the gold given me by the Emperor of Blefescue, together with his Majesty's picture at full length, and some other rarities of that country. I gave him two purses of two hundred sprugs each, and promised, when we arrived in England, to make him a present of a cow and sheep big with young. I shall not trouble the reader with a particular count of this voyage, which was very prosperous for the most part. We arrived in the Downs on the thirteenth of April 1702. I had only one misfortune, that the rats on board carried away one of my sheep. I found her bones in a hole, picked clean from the flesh. The rest of my cattle had got safe for sure, and set them a gazing in a bowling green at Greenwich, where the fineness of the grass made them feed very heartily. Though I had always feared the contrary. Neither could I possibly have preserved them in so long a voyage, if the captain had not allowed me some of his best biscuit. Which, rubbed a powder, and mingled with water, was their constant food. The short time I continued in England, I made a considerable profit by showing my cattle to many persons of quality and others, and before it began my second voyage I sold them for six hundred pounds. Since my last return, I find the breed is considerably increased, especially the sheep, which I hope will prove much to the advantage of the woolen manufacturer, by the fineness of the fleeces. I stayed but two months with my wife and family, for my insatiable desire of seeing foreign countries would suffer me to continue low longer. I left fifteen hundred pounds with my wife, and fixed her a good house in Redriff. My remaining stock I carried with me, part in money and part in goods, in hopes to improve my fortunes. My eldest uncle John had left me an estate in land, near Epping, for about thirty pounds a year, and I had a long lease of the black bull in Fetalane, which yielded me as much more, so that I was not in any danger of leaving my family upon the parish. My son Johnny, named so after his uncle, was at the grammar school and a twardly child. My daughter Betty, who is now well married and has children, was then at her needlework. I took leave of my wife and boy and girl, with tears on both sides, and went on board the adventurer, a merchant ship of three hundred tons, bound for Surat, captain John Nicholas of Liverpool, commander. But my account of this voyage must be referred to the second part of my travels. Part two, chapter one, of Gulliver's travels. This is the LibriVox recording, all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Lizzie Driver. Gulliver's travels by Jonathan Swift. Part two, a voyage to Brobeden Nag. Chapter one. A great storm described. The long boat sent to fetch water. The author goes with it to discover the country. He is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's house. His reception, with several accidents that happened there. A description of the inhabitants. Having been condemned by nature and fortune, to active and restless life. In two months after my return, I again left my native country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day of June 1702. In the adventure. Captain John Nicholas, a Cornish man, commander, bound for Surat. We had a very prosperous gale till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where we landed for fresh water. But discovering a leak, we unshipped our goods and wintered there. For the captain, falling sick of an ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We then set sail, and had a good voyage, till we passed the Straits of Madagascar. But having got northward of that island, and to about five degrees south latitude, the winds, which in those seas are observed to blow a constant equal gale between the north and west, from the beginning of December to the beginning of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty days together. During which time we were driven a little to the east of the Malocca Islands, and about three degrees northwards of that line. As our captain found by an observation he took the second of May, at which time the winds ceased, and it was a perfect calm, were at I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man well experienced in the navigation of those seas, bid us all prepare against a storm, which accordingly happened the day following, for the southern wind, called the Southern Monsoon, began to set in. Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our spritz sail, and stood by two hands the foresail. But making foul weather, we looked the guns were all fast, and handed the mizzen. The ship lay very broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the sea, than trying or hulling. We reefed the foresail and set him, and hauled after the foresheet, the helm was harder weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore down-haul, but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard, and got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear of it. It was a very fierce storm, the sea broke strange and dangerous. We hauled off upon the lanyard of the whip-staff, and helped the man at the helm. We would not get down our top-mast, but let it stand, because she scuttled before the sea very well. And we knew that the top-mast being aloft, the ship was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea, seeing as we had sea room. When the storm was over we set foresail and mainsail, and brought the ship too. Then we set the mizzen, main top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was east-north-east, the wind was at south-west. We got to the starboard-taxer-board. We cast off our weather-braces and lifts. We set in the lee-braces, and hauled forward by the weather-bowings, and hauled them tight, and belayed them, and hauled over the mizzen-track to windward, and kept her full, and by as near as she would lie. During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind west-south-west, we were carried, by my computation, about five hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our provisions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all in good health, but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn more northerly, which might have brought us to the northwest part of Great Tartary, and into the frozen sea. On the sixteenth day of June, 1703, a boy on the top mast discovered land. On the seventeenth, we came in full view of a great island, or continent, for we knew not weather. On the south side, whereof, was a small neck of land jutting out into the sea, and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred tonnes. We cast anchor within a league of this creek, and our captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the longboat, with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make what discoveries I could. When we came to land, we saw no river or spring, nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men thereof wandered on the shore to find out some fresh water near the sea, and I walked alone about a mile on the other side, where I observed the country old baron and rocky. I now began to be weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned gently down towards the creek, and the sea being full in my view, I saw our men already got out into the boat, and rowing for life to the ship. I was going to holler after them, although it had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge creature walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could. He waited not much deeper than his knees, and he took prodigious strides, but our men had the start of him half a league, and, the sea thereabouts being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not able to overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I dourced not stay to see the issue of the adventure, but ran as fast as I could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill, which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully cultivated, but that which first surprised me was the length of the grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for hay, was about twenty feet high. I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it served the inhabitants' own as a footpath through a field of barley. Here I walked on for some time, but could see little on either side. It is now being near Harvest, and the corn rising at least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this field, which was fenced in with a hedge of at least one hundred twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make no computation of their altitude. There was a style to pass from this field into the next. It was four steps, and a stone to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible for me to climb this style, because every step was six feet high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the style, of the same size with him whom I saw in the sea, pursuing our boat. He appeared as tall as an ordinary spy as the people, and took about ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide myself in the corn. Whence I saw him at the top of the style looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard him calling in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking trumpet. But the noise was so high in the air, that at first I certainly thought it was thunder. Whereupon several monsters, like himself, came towards him with reaping hooks in their hands, each hook about the largeness of six sides. These people were not so well-clad as the first, whose servants or labourers they seemed to be. For, upon some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn in the field where I lay. I kept from them at great distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme difficulty, for the stalk to the corn was sometimes not above a foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze by body betwixt them. However, I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a part of the field where the corn had been laid by the rain and wind. Here it was impossible for me to advance a step, for the stalks were so interwoven that I could not reap through, and the beards of the fallen ear so strong and pointed, that they pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me, being quite dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and despair, I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless children, I lamented my own folly and mullfulness, in attempting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends and relations. In this terrible agitation of mind I could not forbear thinking of Illiput, whose inhabitants looked upon me as the great prodigy that ever appeared in the world. Where I was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform these other actions, which will be recorded forever in the chronicles of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them, although it tested my millions. I reflected what a mortification it had proved to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one single Illiputian would be among us, but this I conceived was to be the least of my misfortunes, for, as human creatures are observed to be more savage and cruel in proportion to their bulk, what could I expect but to be a morsel in the mouth of the first among these enormous barbarians that should happen to seize me. Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great, or little otherwise, than by comparison. It might have pleased fortune to have let the Illiputians find some nation where the people were as diminutive with respect to them as they were to me. And who knows, but that even this prodigious race of mortals might be equally overmatched in some distant part of the world, where have we yet no discovery. Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbid going on with these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching within ten yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend that with the next step I should be squashed to death under his foot, or cut in two with his reaping hook. And therefore, when he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could make me, whereupon the huge creature trod short, and looking round about under him for some time, at last aspired me as I lay on the ground. He considered a while, with the caution of one who endeavours, to lay hold on a small dangerous animal, in such a manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite him. As I myself was sometimes done with the weasel in England. At length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his forefinger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his eyes, that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed his meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much presence of mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least, as he held me in the air above sixty feet from the ground. Although he grievously pinched my sides, for fear I should slip through his fingers. All I ventured was to raise my eyes towards the sun, and place my hands together in a supplicating posture, and to speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the condition I was then in, for I apprehended every moment that he would dash me against the ground, as we usually do a little hateful animal, which we have a mind to destroy. But my good star would have it that he appeared pleased with my voice and gestures, and began to look upon me as a curiosity, much wondering to hear me pronounce articulate words, although he could not understand them. In the meantime I was not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head towards my sides, letting him know as well as I could, how cruelly I was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to apprehend my meaning, for lifting up the lepet of his coat, he put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his master, who was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had first seen in the field. The farmer having, as I suppose by their talk, received such an account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of small straw about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith lifted up the lepets of my coat, which it seems he thought to be some kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my hairs aside to take a better view of my face. He called his hands about him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned, whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon all fours, but I immediately got up, and walked slowly backwards and forward, to let the people see I had no intent to run away. They all sat down in a circle about me, the better to observe my motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low bow towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted up my hands and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could. I took a purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly presented it to him. He received it on the palm of his hand, then applied it close to his eyes to see what it was, and afterwards turned it several times with the point of a pin, which he took out of his sleeve, but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse, and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, besides twenty or thirty smaller coins.  He made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him several times, I thought it best to do. The farmer by this time was convinced I must be a rational creature. He spoke often to me, but to the sound of his voice pierced my ears, like that of a watermill, yet his words were articulate enough. I answered as loud as I could in several languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me, but all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other. He then sent his servants to their work, and, taking his handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do for it was not a buffer-foot in thickness. I thought it my part to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full length upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he lapped me up to the head for further security, and in this manner carried me home to his house. There he called his wife and showed me to her, but she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she had a while seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs her husband made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely tender of me. It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in dinner. It was only one substantial dish of meat, fit for the plain condition of a husbandman, in a dish of about four and twenty feet diameter. The company were, the farmer and his wife, three children and an old grandmother. When they were sat down, the farmer placed me at some distance from him on the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the edge, for fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave them exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small drum-cup, which held about two gallons, and filled it with a drink. I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both hands, and in a most respectful manner drank to her ladyship's health, expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which made the company laugh so heartily, that I was almost deafened with the noise. This liqueur tasted like a small cider, and was not unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher's side. But as I walked on the table, being in great surprise all the time, as the indulgent reed will easily conceive an excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up immediately, and observing the good people to be in much concern, I took my hat, which I held under my arm out of good manners, and waving it over my head, made three his ars, to show I had got no mischief by the fall. But advancing forwards towards my master, as I shall henceforth call him, his youngest son, who sat next to him, an arch-boy of about ten years old, took me up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled every limb. But his father snatched me from him, and at the same time gave him such a box to the left ear, as would have felled a European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be taken from the table. But being afraid the boy might owe me a spite, and well remembering how mischievous all children among us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens and puppy dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son might be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his seat again, whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which my master took, and made him stroke me gently with it. In the midst of dinner, my mistress's favourite cat leapt into her lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen stocking-weavers at work, and turning my head, I found it proceeded from the pairing of that animal, who seemed to be three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of her head, and one of her paws, while her mistress was feeding and stroking her. The fierceness of this creature's countenance altogether discomposed me, though I stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet off, and although my mistress held her fast, for fierce she might give a spring, and seize me in her talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took not the least notice of me, when my master placed me within three yards of her. And as I have always been told, and found true by experience in my travels, that flying or discovering fear before a fierce animal is a certain way to make it pursue or attack you. So I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, to show no manner of concern. I walked with Intreperty five or six times before the very head of the cat, and came within half a yard of her, whereupon she drew herself back as if she were more afraid of me. I had less apprehension concerning the dogs. Whereof three or four came into the room, as it is usual in a farmer's house, one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the mastiff, but not so large. When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child of a year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a squall that you might have heard from London Bridge to Chelsea, after the usual oratory of infants to get me for a plaything. The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up and put me towards the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and got my head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that the urchin was frightened and let me drop. And I should infallibly have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron under me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which was a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child's waist, but all in vain, so that she was forced to apply the last remedy by giving it suck. I must confess to no object ever disgusted me so much to the sight of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk, shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the dog so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing could appear more nauseous. For I had a near sight of her, she sitting down the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of our English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but through a magnifying glass, where we find, by experiment, that the smoothest and whitest skins look rough and coarse and ill-coloured. I remember when I was at Elliput, the complexion of those diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world, and talking upon the subject with the person of learning there, who was an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared much fairer and smoother, when he looked on me from the ground, than it did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand, and brought him close. Which he confessed was at first a very shocking sight. He said, he could discover great holes in my skin, that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than the bristles of a bore, and my complexion made up several colours altogether disagreeable. Although I must beg leave to save myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country, and very little sunburned by all my travels. On the other side, discoursing of the ladies of that emperor's court, he used to tell me, one had freckles, another too wide a mouth, a third too large a nose. Nothing of which I was able to distinguish. I confess this reflection was obvious enough. Which, however, I could not forbear, lest the reader might think, those vast creatures were actually deformed. For I must do them the justice to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the features of my master's countenance, although he was but a farmer, when I beheld him from the height of sixty feet, appeared very well proportioned. And dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers, and, as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife strict charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and disposed to sleep, which my mistress perceiving she put me on her own bed, and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but larger and coarser than the mainsail of a man of war. I slept about two hours, and jumped I was at home, with my wife and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked, and found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about to her household affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down. I durst not presumed to call, and if I had, it would have been in vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the room where I lay to the kitchen, where the family kept. While I was under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtain, and ran, smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them came up almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and drew out my hanger to defend myself. These horrible animals had the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of them held his forefeet at my collar. But I had the good fortune to rip up his belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell down at my feet, and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his escape. But not without one good wound on the back, which I gave him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him. After this exploit I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were the size of a large mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and fierce, so that if I had taken off my belt before I went to sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured. I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be two yards long, wanting an inch. But it went against my stomach to drag the carcass of the bed, where it lay still bleeding. I observed it yet had some life, but with a strong slash across the neck I thoroughly dispatched it. Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing we all bloody ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead rat, smiling and making other signs to show I was not hurt, where she was extremely rejoiced, calling to the maid to take up the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the window. Then she set me on a table, where I showed her my hangar all bloody, and wiping it on the lapet of my coat, returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one thing which another could not do for me, and therefore endeavoured to make my mistress understand, that I desired to be set down on the floor, which after she had done my bashfulness would not suffer me to express myself farther, thereby pointing to the door and bowing several times. The good woman, with much difficulty, at last perceived what I would be at, and taking me up again in her hand, walked into the garden where she set me down. I went on one side about two hundred yards, and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of nature. I hoped the gentle reader would excuse me for dwelling on these and the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may appear to grovelling vulgar minds, it would certainly help a philosopher to enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply them to the benefit of public as well as private life, which was my sole design in presenting this and other accounts of my travels to the world. Wherein I had been chiefly studious of truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning or of style. But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an impression on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to paper, I did not admit one material circumstance. However, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages of less moment, which were my first copy, for fear of being censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often, perhaps not without justice, accused. CHAPTER II A description of the farmer's daughter. The author carried to a market-town, and then to the metropolis, the particulars of his journey. My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of towardly parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and skillful in dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to fit up the baby's cradle for me against night. The cradle was put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon a hanging shelf, for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the time I stayed with those people, though made more convenient by degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my once known. This young girl was so handy that after I had once or twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress and undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she would let me do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and some other linen of as fine a cloth as could be got, which indeed was coarser than sackcloth, and these she constantly washed for me with her own hands. She was likewise my schoolmistress, to teach me the language. When I pointed to anything, she told me the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was able to call for whatever I had in mind to. She was very good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for her age. She gave me the name of Grill-Drig, which the family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word imports what the Latins call anunculus, the Italians, Homo cheltino, and the English mannequin. To her I chiefly owe my preservation in that country. We never parted while I was there. I called her my glum-dell glitch, or little nurse, and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I admitted this honourable mention of her care and affection towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent but unhappy instrument of a disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear. It now began to be known, and talked of in the neighbourhood, that my master had found a strange animal in the field, about to the bigness of a splack-knuck, but exactly shaped in every part like a human creature, which it likewise imitated in all its actions, seemed to speak in a little language of its own, had already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a complexion fairer than a nobleman's daughter of three years old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into the truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed upon a table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hangar, put it up again, made my reverence to my master's guest, asked him in his own language how he did, and told him he was welcome, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This man, who was old and incited, put on his spectacles to behold me better, at which I could not forbear laughing very heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon shining into a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the cause of my mirth, bore my company in laughing, at which the old fellow was full enough to be angry, and out of countenance. He had the character of a great miser, and to my misfortune he well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my master, to show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town, which was half an hour's riding, and two and twenty miles from our house. I guessed there was some mischief when I observed my master and his friend whispering together, sometimes pointing at me, and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood some of their words. But the next morning Glumdau Klitsch, my little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some mischief would happen to me, from rude, vulgar folks, who might squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a public spectacle to the meanest of the people. She said her papa and mama had promised that Gryldrig should be hers. But now she found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fact, sold it to a butcher. For my own part I may truly affirm that I was less concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which never left me, that I should one day recover my liberty. And as to the ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, and that such misfortune could never be charged upon me as a reproach, if ever I should return to England. Since the king of Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the same distress. My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a box the next market day to the neighbouring town, and took along with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion behind him. The box was close on every side, with little door for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air. The girl had been so careful as to put the quilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to lie down on it. However, I was terribly shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but of half an hour, for the horse went about forty feet at every step, and trotted so high that the agitation was equal to the rising and falling of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent. Our journey was somewhat farther than from London to St. Albans. My master alighted an inn, which he used to frequent, and after consulting a while with the innkeeper, I made some necessary preparations. He hired the galtrod, or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange creature to be seen at the sign of the green eagle. Not so big as a spluck-knuck, an animal in that country very finely shaped about six feet long, and in every part of the body resembling a human creature, could speak several words, and perform a hundred diverting tricks. I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn, which might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse stood on a low stool close to the table to take care of me, and direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about on the table as the girl commanded. She asked me questions, as far as she knew my understanding of the language reached, and I answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times to the company, paid my humble respects, said they were welcome, and used some other speeches I had been taught. I took up a thimble filled with liqueur, which Glumdal Klitsch had given me for a cup, and drank their health. I drew out my hangar, and flourished with it after the manner of fences in England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which I exercised as a pike, having learned the art of my youth. I was that day shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over again the same properties, till I was half dead with weariness and vexation. For those who had seen me made such wonderful reports that the people were ready to break down the doors to come in. My master, for his own interest, would not suffer anyone to touch me except my nurse, and to prevent danger, benches were set round the table at a distance as to put me out of everybody's reach. However, an unlucky schoolboy aimed a hazelnut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me, otherwise it came with so much violence that it would have infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as a small pumpkin. But I had the satisfaction to see the young rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room. My master gave public notice that he would show me again the next market day, and in the meantime he would prepare a covenant vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do, for I was so tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs or speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my strength, and that I might have no rest at home, or the neighbouring gentleman from a hundred miles round, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my master's own house. There could not be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children, for the country is very populous. And my master demanded the rate of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were only to a single family. So that for some time I had put little ease every day of the week, except Wednesday, which is their Sabbath, although I were not carried to the town. My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be, resolved to carry me to the most considerable cities of the kingdom. Having therefore provided himself with all the things necessary for a long journey, and set out his affairs at home, he took leave of his wife, and upon the seventeenth of August, 1703, about two months after my arrival, we set out for the metropolis, situated near the middle of that empire, and about three thousand miles' distance from our house. My master made his daughter a glum-dell-clitch right behind him. She carried me on her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it on all sides with the softest cloth she could get, well quilted underneath, furnished it with her baby's bed, provided me with linen and other necessaries, and made everything as convenient as she could. We had no other company but a boy of the house, who rode after us with the luggage. My master's design was to show me in all the towns by the way, and to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles to any village, or person of quality's house, where he might expect custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or eight score miles a day. For glum-dell-clitch, on purpose to spare me, complained she was tired of the trotting of the horse. She often took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give me air, and show me the country, but always held me fast by a leading string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and deeper than the Nile, or the Ganges, and there was hardly a river let so small as the Thames at London Bridge. We were ten weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large towns beside many villages and private families. On the twenty-sixth day of October we arrived at the Metropolis, called in their language, Laubrolgrud, or Pride of the Universe. My master took a lodging in the principal street of the city, not far from the Royal Palace, and put out bills in the usual form, containing an exact description of my person and parts. He hired a large room between three and four hundred feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon which I was to act my part, and palisade owed it round three feet from the edge, and as many high to prevent my falling over. I was shown ten times a day to the wonder and satisfaction of all people. I could now speak the language tolerably well, and perfectly understood every word that was spoken to me. Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, and could make a shift to explain a sentence here and there, for Glendale Clitch had been my instructor while we were at home, and a leisure-hours during our journey. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much larger than a Sampson's Atlas. It was a common treatise for the use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion. Out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words. The author sent forth a court. The queen buys him off his master, the farmer, and presents him to the king. He disputes with his majesty's great scholars. An apartment at court provided for the author. He is in high favour with the queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. He quarrels with the queen's dwarf. The frequent labours I underwent every day, made in a few weeks a very considerable change in my health. The more my master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost my stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning, and resolving with himself, a sardral, or gentleman usher, came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately thither, for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange things of my beauty, behaviour and good sense. Her majesty, and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of kissing her imperial foot. But this gracious princess held out a little finger towards me, after I was set on the table, which I embraced in both my arms, and put at the tip of it with the utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general questions about my country and my travels, when she answered as distinctly in as few words as I could. She asked whether I could be content to live at court. I bowed down to the board of the table, and humbly answered that I was my master's slave, but if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my life to her majesty's service. So then she asked my master whether he was willing to sell me at a good price. He, who apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were ordered to him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of eight hundred Moidors, but allowing for the proportion of all things between that country and Europe, and the high price of gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas would be in England. I then said to the queen, since I was now her majesty's most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the favour, glum-tail-clitch, who would always tend me with so much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might be admitted into her service, and continued to be my nurse and instructor. Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the farmer's consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and saying he had left me in a good service. To which I replied not a word, only making a slight bow. The queen observed my coldness, and when the farmer was gone out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell her majesty, that I owed no other obligation to my late master, than his not dashing out to the brains of a poor, harmless creature, found by chance in his fields. Which obligation was amply recompensed, by the gain he had made in shelling me through half the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the life I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of ten times my strength, that my health was much impaired by the continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the day, and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger, her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was out of all fear of being ill treated under the protection of so great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the creation, so I hoped my late master's apprehensions would appear to be groundless, for I had already found my spirits revived by the influence of her most august presence. This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great improprieties and hesitation. The latter part was altogether framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned some phrases from Glomdalclitch, while she was carrying me to court. The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in speaking, was however surprised at so much wit and good sense in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand and carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet. His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance, not well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen, after a cold manner, how long it was since she grew fond of black-knuck. For such it seems he took me to be, as I lay upon my breast on her majesty's right hand. But this princess, who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my feet upon the screw-toir, and commanded me to give his majesty an account of myself, which I did in a very few words. And Glomdalclitch, who attended at the cabinet door, and could not endure I should be out of his sight, being admitted, confirmed all that had passed from my arrival at a father's house. The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy and particularly mathematics. Yet, when he observed my shape exactly, and saw me walk erect before I began to speak, conceived I might be a piece of clockwork, which is, in that country, arrived to a very great perfection, contrived by some ingenious artist. To when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He was by no means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted between Glomdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination he put several other questions to me, and still received rational answers. No otherwise defective than by a foreign accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer's house, and did not suit the polite style of a court. His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in their weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country. These gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular laws of nature, because I was not framed with the capacity of preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which they viewed with great exactness, that I was a coniferous animal. Yet most quadrupeds, being an overmatch for me, and field mice with some others too nimble, they could not imagine how I should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and other insects, which they offered by my learned arguments to enceive that I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth, but this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my limbs to be perfect and finished, and that I had lived several years as it was manifest from my beard, the stumps were of they plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would not allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all degrees of comparison. For the Queen's favourite dwarf, the smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high. After much debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only rel plumb skull calf, which is interpreted literally, less as naturally, a determination exactly agreeable to the modern philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old evasion of occult cases, whereby the followers of Aristotle endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable advancement of human knowledge. After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a word or two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his majesty, but I came from a country which abounded with several millions of both sexes, and of my own stature, where the animals, trees, and houses were all in proportion, and whereby, by consequence, I might be able to defend myself and to find sustenance, as any of his majesty's subjects could do here, which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen's arguments. To this they only replied, with a smile or contempt, saying, that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson. The king, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, who, by good fortune, was not yet gone out of town. Having therefore first examined him privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl, his majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular care should be taken of me, and was of opinion that Glomdal Klitsch should still continue in her office of tending me, because he observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient apartment was provided for her at court. She had a sort of governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to dress her, and two other servants from menial offices. But the care of me was wholly appointed to herself. Queen commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might serve me for a bed-chamber, after the model that Glomdal Klitsch and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist, and according to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a wooden chamber of sixteen feet square and twelve feet high, with sash windows, a door, and two closets like a London bed-chamber. The board that made the ceiling was to be lifted up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by her majesty's upholsterer, which Glomdal Klitsch took out every day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at night, locked up the roof over me.  The room was quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who carried me, and to break the force of a jolt when I went in a coach. I desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming in. The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest it ever was seen among them, but I have known a larger at the gate of the gentleman's house in England. I made a shift to keep the key in my pocket of my own, fearing Glomdal Klitsch might lose it. The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be gotten, to make me clothes not much thicker than an English blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the Persian and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent habit. The queen became so fond of my company that she could not die without me. I had a table placed upon the same, at which her majesty ate, just as her left elbow, and a chair to sit on. Glomdal Klitsch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver dishes and plates and other necessaries, which, in proportion to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have seen in a London toy shop, for the furniture of a baby house. These my nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them herself. No person dined with the queen but the two princesses royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the younger at that time thirteen and a month. He managed to use to put a bit of meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself, and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature. For the queen, who had indeed but a weak stomach, took up, at one mouthful, as much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would crunch the wings of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey, and put a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hog's head at her draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set straight upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other instruments were all in the same proportion. I remember when Glumdahl Klitsch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the tables at court, where ten or a dozen of these enormous knives and forks were lifted up together. I thought I had never till then beheld so terrible a sight. It is the custom that every Wednesday, which, as I have observed, is their Sabbath, the king and queen, with the royal issue of both sexes, thine together in the apartment of his majesty, to whom I now became a great favourite. And at these times my little chair and table were placed at his left hand, before one of the salt-sellers. This prince took a pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners, religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe, wherein I gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was so clear, at his judgment so exact, that he made very wise reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess, that after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our schisms in religion, and parties in the state. The prejudices of his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking me up in his right hand and stroking me gently with the other, after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me whether I was a wig or tory. Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind him with a white staff, near as tall as the main mast of the royal sovereign, he observed, how contemptible a thing was human grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as I, and yet, said he, I dare engage these creatures have their titles and distinctions of honour. They contrive little nests and boroughs that they call houses and cities. They make a figure in dress and equipage, they love, they fight, they dispute, they cheat, they betray. And thus he continued on. While my colour came and went several times, with indignation to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue, piety, honour and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so contemptuously treated. But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no. For after having been accustomed several months to the sight and converse of these people, and observed every object upon which I cast my eyes to be of proportional magnitude, the horror I had at first conceived from their bulk and aspect was so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English laws and ladies in their finery and birthday clothes, acting their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting and bowing and prattling, to say the truth I should have been strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his grandees did at me. Neither indeed could I forbear smiling at myself, when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a looking-glass, by which both our persons appeared before me in full view, and there could be nothing more ridiculous than the comparison, so that I really began to imagine myself dwindled many degrees below my usual size. Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen's dwarf, who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that country, for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high, became so insolent at seeing a creature so much beneath him, that he would always effect to swagger and look big as he passed by me in the queen's anti-chamber, while I was standing on some table, talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness, against which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother, challenging him to wrestle, and such reputees as are usually in the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious little cub was so nettered with something I had said to him, that raising himself upon the frame of her majesty's chair, he took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears, and if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very hard with me. For glum-dow-clitch, in that instant, happened to be at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a fright that she wanted presence of mind to assist me, but my little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had swallowed above a court of cream. I was put to bed, however I received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes, which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipped, and as a further punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream, into which he had thrown me. Neither was he ever restored to favour, for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality, so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction, but I could not tell to what extremity such a malicious urchin might have carried his resentment. He had before served me a scurvy trick, which shent the queen a laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed, and would have immediately casheared him, if I had not been so generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow bone upon her plate, and after knocking out the marrow, placed the bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before. The dwarf, watching his opportunity, while Glumdale Clitch was gone to the sideboard, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my leg together wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where I stuck for some time and made a very ridiculous figure. I believe it was near a minute before anyone knew what was become of me, for I thought it below me to cry out, but as princes seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scolded, only my stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping. I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my fearfulness, and she used to ask me whether the people of my country were as great a coward as myself. The occasion was this. The kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer, and these odious insects, each of them as big as a dunstable lark, hardly gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual humming and buzzing about my nears. They would sometimes alight upon my vitals, and leave their loathsome excrement or spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not the natives of that country, whose large objects were not so acute as mine in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon my nose or forehead, where they stang me to the quick, smelling very offensively, and I could easily trace that vicious matter, which our naturalists tell us enable those creatures to walk with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much adieu to defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common practice of the dwarf to catch a number of these insects in his hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under my nose, on purpose, to frighten me, and divert the queen. My remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife as they flew in the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired. I remember one morning, when Glumdowclitch had set me in a box, upon a window as she usually did in fair days to give me air. For I dares to not venture to let the box be hung on a nail out of the window, as we do with cages in England. After I had lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps, allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming louder than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my cake and carried it piecemeal away. Others flew about to my head and face, confounding me with the noise, and put them in the utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to rise and draw my hangar and attack them in the air. I dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently shot my window. These insects were as large as partridges. I took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all, and having since shown them with some other curiosities in several parts of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to Gresson College, and kept the fourth for myself. End of Chapter 3 Part 2 Part 2 Chapter 4 of Gulliver's Travels This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recording by Lizzie Driver Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift Part 2 Avoid to Brobeden Nag Chapter 4 The country described a proposal for correcting modern maps, the king's palace, and some account of the metropolis, the author's way of travelling, the chief temple described. I now intend to give the reader a short description of this country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not, above 2,000 miles, round Labral Grud, the metropolis, for the queen, whom I always attended, never went farther when she was accompanying the king in his progress, and there stayed till his majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent of this prince's dominions reached about 6,000 miles in length, and from three to five in breadth. Once, I cannot but conclude that our geographers of Europe are in a great error by supposing nothing but to see between Japan and California, for it was ever my opinion that there must be a balance of earth to counterpose the great continent of Tartary, and therefore they ought to correct their maps and charts, by joining this vast tract of land to the northwest part of America. Wherein I shall be ready to lend them my assistance. The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the northeast, by a ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether impossible, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops. Neither do most of the learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three other sides it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one seaport in the whole kingdom, and those parts of the coasts into which the rivers issue are so full of pointed rocks, and the sea generally is so rough, that there is no venturing with the smallest of their boats. So that these people are wholly excluded from any commerce with the rest of the world, but the large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with excellent fish, for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea fish are on the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not worth catching. Whereby it is manifest that nature, in the production of plants and animals of so extraordinarily a bulk, is wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then they take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks, which the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders, and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to Lerbrilgrud. I saw one of them in a dish at the king's table, which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of it, for I think indeed the bigness disgusted him, although I have seen one so much larger in Greenland. The country is well inhabited, for it contains 51 cities, near a hundred walled towns, and a great number of villages. To satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to describe Lerbrilgrud. This city stands upon almost two equal parts on each side of the river that passes through. It contains above 80,000 houses and about 600,000 inhabitants. It is, in length, three glomglongs, which make about 54 English miles, and two and a half in breadth, as I measured it myself in the royal map made by the king's order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me, and extended a hundred feet. I paced the diameter and circumference several times barefoot, and computing by the scale measured it pretty exactly. The king's palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of buildings about seven miles round. The chief rooms are generally 240 feet high, and broad and long in proportion. The coach was allowed to glom down Clitch and me, wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town, or go among the shops. And I was always of the party, carried in my box, although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets. I reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster Hall, but not altogether so high. However, I cannot be very exact. One day the governess ordered our coachman to stop at several shops, where the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle that every European eye beheld. There was a woman with a cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of holes, in two or three of which I could easily have crept and covered my whole body. There was a fellow with a wien in his neck, larger than five wool-packs, and another with a couple of wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful sight of all was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could see distinctly the limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much better than those of a European louse through a microscope, and their snouts, with which they rooted like swine. They were the first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough to dissect one of them, if I had had proper instruments, which I unluckily left behind me in the ship. Although, indeed, the sight was so nauseous that it perfectly turned my stomach. Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the queen ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve feet square and ten high, for the convenience of travelling, because the other was somewhat too large for Glumdahl Klitsch's lap, and cumbersome in the coach. It was made by the same artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This travelling closet was an exact square, with a window in the middle of three of the squares, and each window was latticed with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong staples were fixed, through which the person that carried me, when I had a mind to be on horseback, put eleven belts, and buckled it about his waist. This was always the office of some grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady, or minister of state in the court. When Glumdahl Klitsch happened to be out of order. For I soon began to be known and esteemed among the greatest officers. I suppose more upon account of their majesty's favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys, when I was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would buckle on my box, and place it on a cushion before him. And there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides, from my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field bed at a hammock hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table neatly screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the agitation of the horse or the coach. And having been long used to sea voyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent, did not much discompose me. Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my travelling closet. Which Glumdahl Klitsch held in her lap in a kind of open sedan, after the fashion of the country, worn by four men and attended by two others in the Queen's livery. The people, who had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd about the sedan. And the girl was complacent enough to make the bearer stop, and take me in a hand, that I might be more conveniently seen. I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly the tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I may truly say I came back disappointed, for the height is not above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the highest pinnacle top. Which, allowing for the difference between the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter for admiration. Nor at all equal in proportion, if I rightly remember, to Salisbury's people. But not to detract from a nation to which during my life, I shall acknowledge myself extremely obliged. It must be allowed, that whatever this famous tower once in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength, for the walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn stone, whereof each is about forty feet square, and adorned on all sides with statues of gods and emperors cut in marble, larger than life, placed in several niches. I measured a little finger which had fallen down from one of these statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found it exactly four feet and an inch in length. Lundell Clitch wrapped it up in a handkerchief, and carried it home in a pocket, to keep among other trinkets of which the girl was very fond, as children at her age usually are. The king's kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at top, and about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so wide, by ten paces, as a cupola at St. Paul's, for I measured the latter on purpose after my return. But if I should describe the kitchen great, the prodigious pots and kettles, the joints of meat turning on the spits, with many other particulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed. At least a severe critic would be apt to think I enlarge to little, as travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censor I fear I have run too much into the other extreme. And that of this treatise should happen to be translated into the language of Brobding nag, which is the general name of that kingdom, and transmitted thither. The king and his people would have reason to complain that I'd done them an injury, by a false and diminutive representation, as Majesty Seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his stables. They are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high. But when he goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a military guard of five hundred horses. Which indeed, I thought, was the most splendid sight that could ever be beheld. Till I saw part of his army in battler, whereof I shall find another occasion to speak. End of Chapter Four, Part Two Part Two, Chapter Five, of Gulliver's travels This is a LibriVox recording, or LibriVox recordings are in the public domain, for more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Lizzy Driver Gulliver's travels by Jonathan Swift Part Two, A Voyaged Brobding Nag Chapter Five Several adventures that happened to the author The execution of a criminal The author shows his skill in navigation I should have lived happily enough in that country, if my littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous and troublesome accidents, some of which I shall venture to relate. Glumdell Clitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it and hold me in a hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those gardens, and my nurse, having set me down, he and I being close together, near some dwarf apple trees, I must need show my wit, by a silly illusion between him and the trees, which happened to hold in their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious rogue, watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of them, shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples, each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling about my ears. One of them hit me on the back as I chanced to stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face. But I received no other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I had given the provocation. Another day Glumdell Clitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her governess. In the meantime there suddenly felt such a violent shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it struck to the ground. And when I was down the hail-stones gave me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I'd been pelted with tennis-balls. However, I made a shift to creep on all fours, and sheltered myself by lying flat on my face on the lee side of a border of lemon thine. But so bruised from head to foot that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this at all to be wondered at, because nature in that country, observing the same proportion through all her operations, a hail-stone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in Europe. Which I can assert upon experience, having been so curious as to weigh and measure them. But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a secure place, which I often entreated her to do that I might enjoy my own thoughts, and having left my box at home to avoid the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While she was absent and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay. The dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taken me in his mouth and straight to his master wagging his tail, and set me gently on the ground. My good fortune he had been so well taught that I was carried between his teeth without the least hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener who knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible fright. He gently took me up in both hands and asked me how I did. But I was so amazed and out of breath that I could not speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself and he carried me safe to my little nurse, who by this time had returned to the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did not appear nor answer when she called. She severely reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing was hushed up and never known at court, for the girl was afraid of the queen's anger. And truly, as to myself, I thought it would not be for my reputation, that such a story should go about. This accident absolutely determined Glumdelklitsch never to trust me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed from her some little unlucky adventures, that happened in those times while as left by myself.  Another time, walking to the top of a fresh molehill, I fell to my neck and the hole, through which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie, not worth remembering, to excuse myself from spoiling my clothes. I likewise brought my right shin against the shell of a snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone and thinking on poor England. I cannot tell whether I was more pleased or mortified, to observe in these solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a yard's distance, looking for worms and other food, with as much indifference and security as if no creature at all were near them. I remember a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of my hand with his bill, a bit of cake that Glumdowclitch had just given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of these birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach, and then they would hop back, unconcerned, to hunt for worms or snails, as they did before. But one day I took a thick cudgel, and threw it with all my strength, so luckily at a linnet, that I knocked him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However the bird, who had only been stunned, recovering himself, gave me so many boxes with his wings on both sides of my head and body, though I held him at arm's length, and was out of reach of his claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go. But I was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the bird's neck, and I had in the next day for dinner by the queen's command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be somewhat larger than an English swan. The maids of honour often invited Glumdowclitch to their apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They would often strip me naked from toe to toe, and lay me at full length in their bosons. Wherewith I was much disgusted, because, to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins. Which I do not mention or intend to the disadvantage of those excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect. But I can see that my sense was more acute in proportion to my littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more disagreeable to their lovers or to each other than people of the same quality are with us in England. And after all, I found the natural smell was much more supportable than when they used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I cannot forget that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput took the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me.  But I suppose his faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was to that of this people. Upon this point I cannot forbid doing justice to the queen my mistress, and glum darkly to my nurse, whose persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England. That which gave him most uneateness among these maids of honour, where my nurse carried me to visit them, was to see them use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had no sort of consequence.  Which I am sure to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from giving me any other emotions than those of horror and disgust. Their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously coloured when I saw them near, with a mould here and there as broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than pack-threads, to say nothing farther concerning the rest of their persons. Neither did they at all scruple when I was by, to discharge what they had drunk to the quantity of at least two hogs-heads, in a vessel that held above three tonnes. The handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride one of her nipples with many other tricks, wherein the reader would excuse me for not being over-particular. But I was so much displeased that I entreated Glumdale Clitch to contrive some excuse for not seeing that young lady any more. One day a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse's governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It was of a man who had murdered one of that gentleman's intimate acquaintance. Glumdale Clitch was prevailed on to be one of the company, very much against her inclination, for she was naturally tender-hearted. And, as for myself, although I abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to see something that I thought must be extraordinary.  The veins and archery spouted up with such a prodigious quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the great jet-deur at Versailles was not equal to it for the time it lasted. And the head, when it fell on the scaffold floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I was at least half an English mile distant. The queen, who often used to hear me talk for my sieve-origes, and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and whether a little exercise or rowing might not be convenient for my health. I answered that I understood both very well. For although my proper employment had been to be a surgeon or a doctor, to the ship, yet often upon a pinch I was forced to work like a common mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in their country, where the smallest worry was equal to a first-rate man of war among us. And such a boat as I could manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty said, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it, and she would provide a place for me to sail in. The fellow was an ingenious workman, and by my instructions in ten days finished a pleasure boat with all its tackling, able conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished the queen was so delighted that she ran with it in her lap to the king, who ordered it to be put into a system full of water with me in it, by way of a trial. I could not manage my two skulls or little oars for one to room, but the queen had before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to make a wooden trowel of three hundred feet long, fifty broad, and eight deep, which, being well pitched to prevent leaking, was placed on the floor along the wall in the outer room of the palace. It had a cork near the bottom to let out the water when it began to grow stale, and two servants could easily fill it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who thought themselves well entertained with my skill and agility. Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only to steer, while the ladies gave me a girl with their fans. And when they were weary some of their pages would blow my sail forward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done, Glumdalglitch always carried back my boat into a closet, and hung it on a nail to dry. In this exercise I once met an accident, which I would have liked to have cost me my life. For one of the pages, having put my boat into the trowel, the governess who attended Glumdalglitch very officially lifted me up to place me in the boat. But I happened to slip through her fingers, and should have infallibly fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking pin that stopped in the good woman's stomacher. The head of the pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches. And thus I was held by the middle in the air till Glumdalglitch ran to my relief. An hour time one of the servants, whose office it was to fill my trowel every third day with fresh water, was so careless as to let a huge frog, not perceiving it, slip out of his pail. The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, and then, sensing a resting place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on one side that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was got in it hopped at once half the length of my boat, and then over my head, backward and forward, dubbing my face and clothes with its odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired Glumdalglitch to let me deal with it alone. I banded a good while with one of my skulls, and at last forced it to leap out of the boat. But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom was from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the kitchen. Glumdalglitch had locked me up in a closet, while she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather, being very warm, the closet window was left open, as well as the windows in the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived, because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the closet window, and skip about from one side to the other. All right, although I was very much alarmed, yet I ventured to look out, but not staring from my seat. And then I saw this frolux of animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last he came to my box, which he seemed to view with great pleasure and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I retreated to the far corner of my room, or box. But the monkey, looking in at every side, put me in such a fright that I wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping, grinning, and chattering, he at last despised me, and reaching one of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a mouse. Although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length seized the lapette of my coat, which, being made of that country silk, was very thick and strong, and dragged me out. He took me in his right forefoot and held me as a nurse as a child she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of creature do with a kitten in Europe. And when I offered to struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent to submit. I have good reason to believe that he took me for a young of one of his own species, by his often stroking my face very gently with his other paw. In these diversions he was interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody was opening it, or when he suddenly leaped up to the window at which he had come in, and thence upon the leads the gutter, walking upon three legs, and hold me in the fourth till he climbed up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard Glumdal Klitsch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me out. The poor girl was almost distracted. That quarter of the palace was all in an uproar, the servants ran for ladders. The monkey was seen by hundreds in the court sitting upon the ridge of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his four paws, and feeding me with the other. By cramming into my mouth, some vitals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his chaps, and patting me when I would not eat. Were at many of the rabble below could not forbear laughing. Neither do I think they justly ought to be blamed, for without question the sight was ridiculous enough to everybody but myself. Some were the people threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down. But this was strictly forbidden, or else, very probably my brains had been dashed out. The ladders were now applied and mounted by several men, which the monkey observing and finding himself almost encompassed, not being able to make enough speed with his three legs, let me drop on a ridged tile and made his escape. Here I sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own giddiness and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the eaves. But an honest lad, one of my nurse's footmen, climbed up and put me into his breech's pocket, brought me down safe.   Yet I was so weak and bruised in the sides with the squeezes given by this odious animal, that I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and all the court sent every day to inquire after my health. And Her Majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The monkey was killed in an ornament that no such animal should be kept about the palace. When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal upon this adventure. He asked me what my thoughts and speculations were while I lay in the monkey's paw, how I liked the vitals he gave me, his manner of feeding, and whether the fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach. He desired to know what I would have done upon such an occasion in my own country. I told His Majesty that in Europe we had no monkeys, except such as were bought for curiosity from other places, and so small that I could deal with a dozen of them together if they presumed to attack me. And as of that monstrous animal with whom I am so lately engaged, it was indeed as large as an elephant. If my fears had suffered me to think so far as to make use of my hangar, looking fiercely and clapping my hand on the hilt as I spoke, when he poked his paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a wound as would have made him glad to withdraw it, with more haste than he put it in. This I delivered in a firm tone. Like a person who was jealous, lest his courage should be called in question. However, my speech produced nothing else beside a loud laughter, which all the respect due to His Majesty from those about Him could not make them contain. As made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my behaviour very frequent in England since my return. Were a little contemptible violette, without the least title to birth, person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with importance and put himself upon a foot with the greatest persons of the kingdom. I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous story, and Glumdow Clitch, although she loved me to excess, yet was art enough to inform the Queen whenever I committed any folly that she thought would be diverting to Her Majesty. The girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to take the air about an hour's distance, or thirty miles from town. They lighted out of the coach near a small footpath in a field, and Glumdow Clitch, setting down my travelling-box, I went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I must need to try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took a run, but unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in the middle up to my knees. I waded through with some difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could with his handkerchief, for I was filthy-beam-ered. And my nurse confined me to my box till we returned home. Where the Queen was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen spreaded about the court, so that all the mirth for some days was at my expense. Gulliver's Travels by Jonathan Swift Part II Avoid to Brobeding Nag Chapter VI Several contrivances of the author to please the King and Queen. He shows his skill in music. The King inquires into the State of England, which the author relates to him. The King's observations thereon. I used to attend the King's levy once or twice a week, and had often seen him under the barber's hand, which indeed was at first very terrible to behold, for the razor was almost twice as long as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the custom of the country, was only shaved twice a week. I once prevailed on the barber to give me some of the suds or lather, of which I picked fifty or forty of the strongest stumps of hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distances, with a smaller needle as I could get from Glumdale Clitch. I fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and slopping them with my knife towards the points, that I made a very tolerable comb, which was a seasonal supply, my own being so much broken in the teeth, that it was almost useless. Neither did I know any artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to make me another. And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent many of my leisure hours. I desired the Queen's woman to save for me the comings of her majesty's hair. Whereof, in good time, I got a good quantity, and consulted with my friend the cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs for me. I directed him to make two chair frames, no larger than those I had in my box, and to bore little holes with a fine awl, round those parts where I designed the backs and seats. Through these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just after the manner of cane-chairs in England. When they were finished I made a present of them to her majesty, who kept them in her cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed they were the wonder of everyone that beheld them. The Queen would have me sit upon one of these chairs.  Of these hairs, as I had always a mechanical genius, I likewise made a neat little purse, about five feet long, with her majesty's name deciphered in gold letters, which I gave to Glumdowclitch by the Queen's consent, to say the truth it was more for show than use, being not of strength to bear the weight of the larger coins. And therefore she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are fond of. The King, who delighted in music, had frequent concert at court, at which I was sometimes carried, and sat in my box on a table to hear them. But the noise was so great that I could hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I could. Then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the window curtains, after which I found their music not disagreeable. I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet. Glumdowclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended twice a week to teach her. I called it a spinet because it somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the same manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain the King and Queen with an English tune upon this instrument. But this appeared extremely difficult, for the spinet was near sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that, with my arms extended, I could not reach to above five keys, and to press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I contrived was this. I prepared two round sticks, about the bigness of common cudgels. They were thicker at one end than the other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse's skin, that by wrapping on them I might neither damage the tops of the keys, nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the bench. I ran side long upon it, that way in this, as fast as I could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made a shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their majesties. But it was the most violent exercise I ever underwent, and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor consequently played the bass and travel together, as other artists do, which was a great disadvantage to my performance. The king, who as I before observed, was a prince of excellent understanding, would frequently order that I should be brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet. He would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box, and sit down within three yards' distance upon the top of the cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day took the freedom to tell his majesty, that the contempt he discovered towards Europe and the rest of the world did not seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mine that he was master of, that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of the body. On the contrary, we observed in our country that the tallest persons were usually the least provided with it, that among other animals, bees and ants has the reputation of more industry, art, and sagacity, the many of the larger kinds, and that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might live to do his majesty some signal service. The king heard me with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of me than he ever had before. He desired I would give him as exact an account of the government of England as I possibly could, because, as funder's princes commonly are of their own customs, the so he conjected of other monarchs by my former discourses, he should be glad to hear of anything that might deserve imitation. Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then wished for the tongue of Dymosthanes or Cicero, that might have enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country in a style equal to its merits and felicity. I began my discourse by informing his majesty that our dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty kingdoms under one sovereign. Besides our plantations in America, I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil and the temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the constitution of an English parliament, partially made up of an illustrious body called the House of Peers, persons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I described as extraordinary care always taken of their education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being councillors both to the king and kingdom, to have a share in the legislator, to be member of the highest court of duty-cater, whence there can be no appeal, and to be champions, always ready for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour, conduct and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue, from which their posterity whenever once known to degenerate. To these were joined several holy persons, as part of that assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business is to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole nation, by the prince and his wisest councillors, among such of the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their irredition, who were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people, that the other part of the parliament consisted of an assembly called the House of Commons, who were all principal gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country, to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe, to whom, in conjecture with the prince, the whole legislator is committed. I then descended to the courts of justice, over which the judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the law, presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties of men, as well as for the punishment of vice and protection of innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury, the valor and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many millions there might be of each religious sect, or political party among us. I did not emit even our sports and pastimes, or any other particular which I thought might redoubt to the honour of my country. And I finished all with a brief historical account of affairs and events in England, for about a hundred years past. This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of several hours. Then to the king heard of the whole with great attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me. When I had put an end to these long discourses, his majesty, in a sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts, queries and objections upon every article. He asked, what methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of a young nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken to supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct? What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be created new lords? Whether the humour of the prince, a sum of money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had in the laws of their country, and how they came by it? So as to enable them to decide the properties of their fellow subjects in the last resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice, partialities, or want, that a bribe or some other sinister view could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords I spoke of, were always promoted to that rank upon account of their knowledge of religious matters, and the sanctity of their lives, had never been compliers with the times, while they were common priests, or slavish prostitute chaplains to some noblemen, whose opinions then continued civilly to follow, after they had admitted into the assembly? He then desired to know, what arts were practised in electing those whom I called commoners? Whether a stranger, with a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose him, before their own landlord? Or the most considerable gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass that people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly, which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? Because this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not be always sincere. And he desired to know, whether such zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves for the charge and trouble they were at by sacrificing the public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in conjunction with a corrupted ministry. He multiplied his questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I think it is not prudent or convenient to repeat. Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his majesty desired to be satisfied in several points. And this I was better able to do, having been formally almost ruined by a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs. He asked, what time was usually spent in determining between right and wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocators and orators had liberty to plead in cases, manifestly known to be unjust, vexatious or oppressive. Whether party, in religion or politics, were observed to be any weight in the scale of justice. Whether those pleading orators were persons educated in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial, national, and other local customs. Whether they, or their judges, had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the liberty of interpreting and glossing upon it their pleasure. Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary opinions. Whether they were rich or a poor corporation. Whether they received any, pecuniary, reward for pleading or delivering their opinions. And particularly whether they were ever admitted as members in the lower senate. He fell next upon the management of our treasury and said, he thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our taxes at about five or six million a year, and when I came to mention the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more than double, for the notes he had taken were very particular in this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be deceived in his calculations. But if, what I told him were true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its estate, like a private person. He asked me, who were our creditors, and where we found money to pay them. He wanted to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars, that certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richer than our kings. He asked, what business we had out of our own islands, unless upon the score of trade or treaty, or to defend the coasts with our fleet. Above all, he was amazed to hear me talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace and among a free people. He said, if we were governed by our own consent in the persons of our representatives, he could not imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were afraid, and would hear my opinion, whether a private man's house might not be better defended by himself, his children, and his family, than by half a dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more by cutting their throats. He laughed at my odd kind of arithmetic, as he was pleased to call it, in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a computation driven by our people, by a computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion and politics. He said, he knew no reason why those, who entertain opinions predicial to the public, should be obliged to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was weakness not to enforce the second, for a man may be allowed to keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for cordials. He observed, that among the divisions of our nobility and gentry, I had mentioned gaming. He desired to know at what age this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid down, how much of their time it employed, whether it ever went so high as to affect their fortune, where the mean, vicious people, by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at greater riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence, as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them from the improvement of their minds and force them, by the losses they received, to learn and practice that infamous dexterity upon others. He was perfectly astonished with the historical account given him of our affairs during the last century. Protesting, it was only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres, revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects of avarice, fiction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness, hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition could produce. His majesty, in another audience, was at pains to recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken, compared to the questions he had made with the answers I had given. Then, taking me into his hands and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words, which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in. My little friend Gildrick, you have made a most admirable upon your country. You have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator, that it was best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interests and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from all you have said, how any one perfection is required towards the procurement of any one station among you. Much less, that men are ennobled on account of their virtue, that priests are advanced for their piety or learning, soldiers for their conduct or valor, judges for their integrity, senators for the love of their country, or counsellors for their wisdom. As for yourself, continue to the king, who have spent the greatest part of your life in travelling. I am well disposed to hope you may hithero have escaped many vices of your country. But, by what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I have with much pains rung and exhorted from you, I cannot but conclude the bulk of your natives, to be the most pernicious race of little odious vermin, that nature ever suffered to crawl upon the surface of the earth. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The author's love of his country. He makes a proposal of much advantage to the king, which is rejected. The king's great ignorance in politics. The learning of that country very imperfect and confined. The laws and military affairs and parties in the state. Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to discover my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule. And I was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and beloved country was so ingestly treated. I am as heartily sorry as any of my readers can possibly be, that such an occasion was given. But this prince happened to be so curious and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not consist either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him what satisfaction I was able. Yet, thus much I may be allowed to say in my own vindication. That I artfully eluded many of his questions, and gave to every point a more favourable turn by many degrees, than the strictness of truth would allow. For I have always borne that laudable partiality to my own country, which Dionysus Halicannassus, with so much justice, recommends to an historian. I would hide the frailties and deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch, although it unfortunately failed a success. But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives wholly secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore be altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that most prevail in other nations. The want of which knowledge will ever produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of thinking, for which we, and the polite countries of Europe, are wholly exempt. And it would be hard, indeed, if so remote to prince's notions of virtue and vice, were to be offered as a standard for all mankind. To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a passage, which will hardly obtain belief, in hopes to ingratiate myself further into his majesty's favour. I told him of an invention discovered between three and four hundred years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap of which the smallest spark of fire falling would kindle the whole in a moment. Although it were as big as a mountain, they make it all fly up in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater than thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into a hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its bigness, would drive a ball of iron or lead, with such violence and speed, as nothing was able to sustain its force. That the largest balls thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of an army at once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink down ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the sea. And when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and raking, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all waste before them. That we often put this powder into large hollow balls of iron, and discharged them by an engine, into some city we were besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side, dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the ingredients very well, which were cheap and common. I understood the manner of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how to make those tubes, of a size proportional to all other things in his majesty's kingdom. And the largest need not be above a hundred feet long. Twenty or thirty of which tubes, charged with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would batter down the walls of the strongest town in his dominions in a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever it should pretend to dispute his absolute commands. This I humbly offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of acknowledgement in turn for so many marks that I had received, of his royal favour and protection. The king was struck with horror at the description I had given of those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made. He was amazed how so impotent and groveling an insect as I, these were his expressions, could entertain such inhuman ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved at the scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as the common effects of those destructive machines. Whereof, he said, some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the first contriver. As for himself he protested, that although few things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy to such a secret. Which he commanded me, as I valued my life, never to mention any more. A strange effect of narrow principles and views, that the prince possessed of irrequality, which procures veneration, love, and esteem, of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound learning, endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by his subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof in Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put into his hands, that would have made him absolute master of the lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people. Neither do I say this, with the least intention to detract from the many virtues of that excellent king, whose character I am sensible, will on this account be very much lessened in the opinion of an English reader. But I take this defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced politics into a science, as the more acute wits of Europe have done. For I remember very well, in a discourse one day with the king, when I happened to say, that there were several thousand books among us written upon the art of government. It gave him, directly contrary to my intention, a very mean opinion of our understandings. He professed both to abominate, and despise all mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state, where an enemy or some rival nation were not in the case. He confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds, to common sense and reason, to justice and leniency, to the speedy determination of civil and criminal causes. With some other obvious topics, which are not worth considering, and he gave it for his opinion, that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground, where any one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together. The learning of this people is very defective, consisting only of morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they must be allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly applied to what may be useful in life, to the improvement of agriculture, and all mechanical arts, so that among us, it would be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entreaties, abstractions, and transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception into their heads. No law in that country must exceed in words the number of letters in their alphabet, which consists only of two and twenty, but indeed few of them extend even to that length. They are expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one inte