Lux presents Hollywood the Lux Radio Theatre brings you Alice Faye Ray Milland and Robert Preston in Alexander's Ragtime Band. Ladies and gentlemen your producer Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen the real history of our time isn't all in the textbooks some of it's in the song books and if you look under the name of Irving Berlin you will find songs that represent a whole chapter in the American saga. That history has never been told but it's been whistled and sung on the broadways and byways of America for more than 30 years. The first Irving Berlin song hit paved the way for the Jazz Age was the granddaddy of swing and gives the title to tonight's play Alexander's Ragtime Band. This is the story of a singer a songwriter and an orchestra leader who started as a professional trio and became an emotional triangle. It begins in the days before the world war and as it comes down the years you'll hear those Irving Berlin songs that are linked with the memories of our own time. As the singer in this cavalcade of melody Alice Faye has the same part she played in the picture. In fact playing singers of the more glamorous kind seems to be a very special talent with this young lady the most recent evidence being her success in Darryl Zanuck's 20th Century Fox production Lillian Russell. The second member of our dramatic triangle is Ray Merland as the orchestra leader the Alexander of Alexander's Ragtime Band. It's a perfect part for Ray and I think you'll like what he does with it. In the role of the songwriter we've cast Robert Preston now one of Paramount's brightest stars but when I first met him just in the tendon to the parking lot. As an actor Bob had his first big chance in my production Union Pacific and has gone from there to a starring role in my next picture Northwest Mounted Police so you can see what I think of it. We've set the stage for a fine performance here and if you'd like to do the same just star Lux Flakes in your home. Millions have done that already and their applause for Lux Flakes comes back to us all the time. Now our stage is set for Alexander's Ragtime Band and the curtain rises on the first act starring Alice Fay Estella Kirby Robert Preston as Charlie Dwyer and Ray Merland as Alexander first known as Rod Grant. San Francisco the Barbary Coast 1913. The man with the belligerent voice is a beefy gentleman known as Dirty Eddie proprietor of Dirty Eddie's Cafe Pride of the Coast. The gentleman reclining on the sidewalk committed an unforgivable sin. He sang a sour note while entertaining Eddie's select clientele composed mostly of thugs from the waterfront. As Eddie stands glowering in the swinging doors the girl comes from the street stepping carefully over the fallen tenor. Is that a coming out party? The bum sings off key I should have killed him. Oh you must be kind of hard to please tonight. Maybe I shouldn't have come. What do you want sister? Well I wouldn't be fresh air in this cute little cottage. Come on inside what's on your mind sister? They tell me you're going in for music. Well here I am. Yeah what do you play? I don't play. I sing and good. I've been up at Lefty's for three months. Maybe you're so good why aren't you there now? Lefty got fresh and I quit. I know I'll be safe here though. Yeah you'll be safe here. Sure like in a volcano. Sense of humor huh? Listen I'm gonna knock you right out of your seat tonight mister. I've got a song here that's dynamite brand new nobody on the barbie coast ever heard anything like it.  No a friend of mine said it to me from New York. That's why you hear it. Let's see the music. Alexander's reg time band never heard of it. I told you it was new. Let me sing it will you please. Okay stick around a while I'll tell you when. Thanks. Hey Stella. Stell. Well for crying out like snapper. Are you still? Well am I glad to see you. Sit down will you.  Say did you ever learn long division. No I never even learned short division but I'm doing all I want out of it. Hey snapper Russia says we're all set.  Stella this is Charlie Dwyer the best piano player in Frisco. Hello Miss Kirby. Hello. Say do you fellas play here? No not yet we're just trying to get the job. We're gonna play for Eddie right now. Yeah well I'm singing for him later. Meet you out on the sidewalk Mr. Dwyer. How many of you are there? Oh just five counting Rod. Rod Grant he's a leader. Grant? Yeah. I don't think I know him. No nobody knows any of us that's a whole trouble. But Rod's got some pretty good ideas we get a break soon maybe. All right Charlie come on snapper ready to start. Oh excuse me. Oh that's all right. Oh this is Stella Kirby Rod. Rod Grant. Hello. How you doing. Now look Charlie in that last part I want the piano soft understand. And you too snapper you're coming in too strong I want everything soft and dreamy. Okay Rod. Now one more thing. Well I'll leave you gentlemen to your knitting. Well I'm sorry Miss Kirby. Don't mind me. See you around snapper. Nice girl isn't she. Charlie keep your mind on your business. All right you guys get started. All set Miss ready. Well go ahead and you better be good too see. Don't worry about that. Now I'll leave the worry into you guys. Go on now one thanks Mr. Ready. All right boys. Hey Rod. Rod wait wait. The music. What about the music. Well it. It's gone. It's gone. But you had it Charlie I saw it. Well I must have left it on the street car. But you couldn't do that. Well I did. Well what do we do now. Say are you guys going to play or not. Yes sir right away. Hey Rod look look here's the music you hear on the chair. Let me see it. Alexander's ragtime band. What's that. What's it look like Rod. It looks like that. I don't know what it looks like. We've got to play something. So come on. All right boys. OK Rod that's it our Charlie. Yeah. Hey look right if they start throwing bottles on me trying to ferry. Hey what is this stuff. Oh come on David just do your best we're in a spot let's go. Hey Rod I don't get it. What kind of rhythm is this. I don't know. I'm a crazy guy on murderous for this. Please please don't interrupt us now. Please Miss Kirby. Hey hey fellas. I got it. Just loosen up a little bit. Hit it. Come on. Come on and here. Come on and here. Alexander's ragtime band. Come on and here. Let you want to go to war. Just band water. Come on along. Come on along. Let me take you by the hand. I'll choose a man. And if you care to. I'm sorry Miss Kirby but. I don't believe that sorry stuff on me. The minute my back was turned trying to set yourself in here with my stuff. I didn't know that was your song I just write kids that's dynamite you're in sister who's in the whole bunch. Don't hook me up with this outfit. I came here to get a job for myself not for this crowd it was my music and my singing to put them over they don't know how to play their right. I suppose just because you can stand up here and shout you know everything about music I fight it out among yourselves but it's all of you and nothing. A beer for Mr. Alexander's ragtime band on the house. Hey my name is Alexander it's Roger Graham it's Alexander to me from now on so I don't know music. Maybe I don't know the track they play up and snob here but I know what they like down here and that's more than you'll ever know and if you think that I'm going to work with you take it easy take it easy what give you the idea to even have you in my band in your band give me my music now wait a minute this is a situation let's try and figure it out I've got it all figured out I don't want anything to do with you is that plain fancy pants always a pleasure to meet a lady good night Miss Kirby good night you now wait wait be a little reasonable reasonable what do you take me for a half what don't pay any attention to Roddy which is shooting off his mouth are you stick with us for a while we all need the job I wouldn't stay here if it was the last job on earth I've seen all I wanted that pain in the neck then you won't stick I told you no you know Miss Kirby I got an idea I can talk you into it we're still a Kirby just wanted to see how you look it's a pretty important opening for us well this dress will do it ought to cost me my last time don't think it's a little flashy dear what do you mean what all those feathers you shouldn't hide your beautiful throat under feathers take them off well now and I know wait a minute and those phony flowers you don't need them it's just like gilling the lily hey hey give me give me I'm afraid you'll have to take off that jewelry too why you too buy force not get out of here I wear what I like you're not dressing for your sale of friends now I'm trying to build a band that is class and distinction and I'm beginning tonight well let me tell you something I know how to dress and you were nobody else is going to tell me what to wear do you understand well you're not going out there looking like a comic Valentine and stop shouting suits me to hey Alex that pickle face owner sort of fit out there we better hop to it you ready Stella I'm not going on our stellar cut out all let her do what you want I don't want a woman with a band anyway oh here we go again what a sapphire was never let you talk me into this I knew how it would end with that conceded Stella I'm surprised that you he didn't mean anything but we just a little excited new place couple of new boys oh you can't let us down now there you go sticking up for him look what he did to my feathers I should have slapped his ears down well you can do that tomorrow you're gonna sing now sing I'll see him dead first all right then don't sing for Alex sing for me hmm please Stella now you're talking come on all right but you're just taking advantage of my good nature that's a girl just remember the three musketeers all for one yeah and that one's a pain in the neck yeah all right now come on outside what for I want you to get acquainted with Alex what are you talking about hurry up Charlie hey just a second Alex I want you to meet Miss Kirby what say what is this Miss Kirby this is Alex oh I believe we've met before sure but forget it you're meeting for the first time right now I take those chips off your shoulders it's not polite now what do you say we got to be good tonight what does he say well I guess Charlie's right you and I have entirely different points of view Miss Kirby but we both grown up and I don't see why with a little common sense we can't work together listen you're out to set the world on fire you're all hopped up with the idea that you've got something to give and you're gonna do it or bust well that's your business but don't try to make it my business all I'm trying to do is earn a living all I want is a job and this job's as good as another as long as I can pay my own way and as long as you leave me alone but listen you've got a great voice and a great future too if you don't need to realize your possibilities and try to make something up listen I'm doing all right I am what I am and I'm not gonna let you make me over into something else just to fit your plans I guess I have been unreasonable only seeing my side of it but all this means a lot to me music having my own band and whether we like it or not we seem to be tied up together we couldn't get this job without you and you probably couldn't get it without us but doesn't it seem sensible to try and meet each other halfway okay there you are you see how easy it is yeah but something tells me I'm sticking my head in a noose Alexander's ragtime band now on their fifth week of the cliff house how do you like it jolly well it's a long way from the Barbary Coast yeah and it's only the first step we just beginning hello Stella hey rehearsals not to three I know but I thought I'd get over a little early say you look swell isn't that another outfit yes I'm afraid it's too loud is it jolly no I think it's great I wonder I wonder if you'll realize how much you've changed in the last few months what do you mean change just because I pay more for my clothes and let my hair go natural that may be part of it oh I see you mean I'm getting to be a lady more refined and agreeable well you're wrong I'm just trying to save myself a lot of arguments oh sure it burns you up to get prettier every day I suppose we're just about break your heart if anybody told you you were blasting me into the most beautiful the most charming I'd call him a liar to his face all right I'm a liar say what's that you're playing oh just a little hit tune I've been working on you mean you wrote it you that's right you like it like it great it's marvelous hey take it easy no I'm the lovely just imagine you having I wrote it for you Stella if it's any good that's why thank Charlie I love to sing it sure I'll speak to Alex maybe we can work it into the ladies and gentlemen our next numbers being sung tonight for the first time written by one of the boys in the band Charlie Dwyer we have met the world may know the sentimental story it is from the tale of boy lost in imitation marvelous I never knew you could sing like that didn't you you ought to listen some time I was listening tonight I had a feeling that Stella you weren't singing that song but somebody will you I mean somebody in particular maybe that's what I thought I'm afraid to ask who you don't have to be you probably know you can see them enough imagine you and me like this what happened Alex don't ask me I guess the roof fell in on us the minute I started to sing that song look up here that's for tonight and that's for all the times I want to break your neck and this is for all the times I wanted to slap your ears down oh Alex do you suppose we've been in love with each other all of this time for me and over the girl who wears feathers not in your life well you were no Christmas bargain yourself darling don't you understand I'm an artist like pig million like oh oh just a Greek who took a hunk of Marvel and molded it and polished it into a beautiful woman and then you fell in love with it oh so you've just fallen in love with your own stature that's it no no no you fell in love with me the first time you ever saw me feathers and everything I guess you're right this is the real thing isn't it the realest thing that's ever happened when you decide to come back Charlie I sorry Charlie listen I don't say a word don't apologize don't explain I know all about it you see I was there when it happened what you were where I pour out my heart in a song to a dame and she takes it and pours out her heart to the boss well it was a good song Charlie and if you if you hadn't written it the lady and I might have gone on through life just slugging each other well when's the wedding hard don't be so practical he's just started courting me sure we just business partners no well then I guess it's all right to talk business Charles Dillingham's in town Dillingham the big producer himself I read it in the paper Alex this is the break you've been waiting for where's the telephone get me a phone he's got to hear us what do you say oh Alex it's wonderful he wants me to go to New York New York he's gonna make me a star oh darling isn't it the most wonderful thing you've ever heard everything you wanted for me yes but but what about the band well he says he can't use the band now but he'll find a place for you later oh isn't it marvelous can you believe it and you're going well of course I'm going I see well what did you expect me to do turn it down if it's the biggest break I'll ever get well at least you might have talked to me about it first I'll just go ahead and say yes without even thinking of me this isn't going to make any difference with us we can still be together you can come on to New York to and get a job I know Dillingham will find a spot for you that'll be great but you've told me over and over again that I could make something of myself if I tried and now just because it's happened you you're all burned up now it serves me right expecting anything from you of all the selfish little tin horn sports you're jealous because he wants me and not you and all that molding and polishing you weren't doing that for me you were doing it for yourself because you thought it would help you get ahead and now that it's backfired and help me you're yelling murder don't go on go on here go with him don't think I won't do the same thing if you had Alex don't let her go like that you're going telling you're wrong before it's too late also you're starting with her again I'm wrong and she's right sure you don't own Stella you can't order her around she has a right to decide for herself she doesn't know the band of thing we're liable to be stuck here the rest of our lives is that the way you feel about it yes I do why you're sticking around why don't you clear out too all right that's a good idea well maestro when does alexander's ragtime band hit Broadway doesn't what isn't any alexander's ragtime band in just a moment we raise the curtain on act two of alexander's ragtime band with Alice Fay Rameland and Robert Preston well it's June again and that means graduation time in school parties for millions of young people all over the country it was graduation time a year or so ago for Mary Coppersmith a charming girl down in Mobile Alabama her mother Mrs. A. J. Coppersmith wrote us for one of the last big school dances I made Mary a lovely sheer printed evening dress with the skirt measuring eight or ten yards round it seemed a little impractical but Mary just had to have it at the dance like to go out in the garden for a while Mary I'd love to beautiful tonight well let's take a turn around the that'd be grand I want one last look at it in the moonlight watch your dress it's awfully dusty here mother just look at the bottom of my skirt it's horribly dirty oh honey with all the red clay ground into it I'm afraid the dress is ruined what are we going to do I've got to have something for the garden party and open house at school we certainly can't afford to get you another dress could you possibly wash this I don't know oh mother please try I'll tell you what I'll try washing it in Lux Flakes they're so gentle I did just that I dipped the dress up and down in lukewarm luck suds and then rinsed it carefully every bit of the soil came out and the dress looked as lovely as ever that one experience saved us nearly $10 naturally I think Lux is simply wonderful and so do millions of other women they're more enthusiastic than ever now because of new quick Lux it's a wonderfully fast in water as cool as your hand it dissolves three times as fast as any of ten other leading soaps tested it's the quick easy care for everything safe and water alone and thrifty care too you know why because new quick Lux goes further gives more suds ounce for ounce even in hard water than any of the other soaps tested and of course it has the same marvelous Lux purity that you've always known the famous safety that has made Lux the leading care for fine fabrics the country over when you place your order tomorrow get the thrifty big box of new quick Lux it comes in the same familiar package costs you no more will keep your nice things washable silks rayons cartons and woolens new looking longer now our producer mr. DeMille act two of Alexander's ragtime band starring Alice Fay is still a Kirby Ray Milan does Alexander and Robert Preston as Charlie Dwyer it's January in 1919 the world is just beginning to relax after the horrors of the war on Broadway on a cold gusty morning Alex makes his ways slowly toward the Globe Theater he's still in uniform but the old jauntiness is gone his face is tired and gray and he leans heavily on a cane in the lobby he stands for a moment reading the playbill Charles Dillingham presents stellar Kirby in come one come all then he turns slowly and limps toward the stage entrance everybody on stage please we'll run through that last scene almost Kirby will you stand by please right here anybody got a cigarette if I want to mine well it's Alex when the word come outside I saw your name out front I thought I'd just drop in and when did you get back a couple of days ago that's wonderful all right oh sure did you get up to the front off and on but but you didn't get hit no no scratch and then why are you all you mean the cane well that's just little fat I picked up on the other side without my walking stick I'd feel a little bit undressed I tried to see you before you left Alex you did I didn't know you were doing that show for the armor here in New York I was there the last night I went backstage you'd gone it's too bad we didn't get together still I wanted to tell you how sorry I was well for everything will you forgive me of course I will I've never stopped loving you Alex oh let's get out of here I just can't stand here just talking I want to put my arms around you and tell you that Alex you don't know what it's been like wanting you every second you've never been out of my mind I don't care what's happened and either do you we belong to each other Alex don't you know no what Charlie and I had been married for more than a year sorry I thought you knew no I didn't miss Stella Mr. Dillingham has an idea that hey hello Charlie Alex how are you oh fine you just got back that's right just got brown to say hello I'm glad you did Alex sorry I wasn't with you over there my I never got further than hoboken well I see you did the songs for set Stella's new show well congratulations thanks blame it on Stella she cracked the whip well it's been great seeing you two again I can't you stay and have lunch with us no no sorry I got a couple of fellas waiting to see me goodbye Stella bye so long Charlie so long he's changed a lot hasn't he in some ways Alex here's the setup we round up some of the boys maybe snapper maybe yet if we can find him and you and me and we put Alexander's ragtime band right back on the map what do you say have another drink Dave no listen will you Jerry here has swell pipes haven't you Jerry sure the agents are fighting over who gets me they're all willing to give me up to the other guy I'll cut it out she's swell Alex honest she can do the vocals and we'll be back in the running bigger and better than ever oh what's the hurry hey what do you mean what's the hurry we gotta get jobs we gotta eat don't why hey listen what is this the bank grows getting thin our time enough to worry when it's gone drink this Davy say are you crazy sure you mind Jerry certainly not I'm a little cracked myself you see she understands she knows we heroes have to have a little time to adjust ourselves cut that out the boys aren't going to sit around and wait for the mood to hit you they're going to get other jobs and then where will we be I'll bite where oh listen listen Alex I need a job and I promised Jerry that she'd get a job with you Davy let him alone can't you see he doesn't want to talk business business what's that you know the thing you do to take your mind off your drinking Jerry you're a very understanding girl I wish I was raring to go but unfortunately I'm not forget it it's all the same to me just out of step I guess you'll catch sure when like Davy says when the mood hits you almost home honey do you want to go somewhere for a drink thanks Charlie I'd rather not okay by me so you like you tonight Stella and so did I guess the show's in for a run yeah another year at least a year that's a long grind isn't it what's the matter Stella you're not yourself at all anymore I'm sorry just tired I guess forget it come on darling you can put the car up Jim yes who's that hey it's snapper are you Charlie are you still why are you all son of a gun never of all people look Charlie a baby car she's a father he's certainly great to see you folks what are you doing here in New York and out with a baby this time it's nice oh nothing how are you both anyway gee you look great same to you and let's have a look at the baby no don't touch a carrot Charlie I mean well I I wouldn't disturb him now oh it's a hint well no no no it ain't oh a girl oh swell snapper well to tell you the truth folks it it ain't either it's a it's six bottles of Scotch what a bootlegger how old is it snapper about six hours right out of the bathtub you too you too sure doing all right ain't you huh caught your show Stella you're certainly come a long way right up on top and the music's all right too Charlie thanks never don't forget snapper you had a hand at all of it way back in the beginning it's funny ain't it you and Charlie on Broadway and Alex down at Greenwich Village Alex down in the village sure him and Davey got a swell band down at Scarby's I got on the job happened to run in when they were broke anytime you want to come down just use my name thanks never well I got to beat it now I got to put the kid to bed never been great seeing you fellas yeah well so long I guess he's doing all right the end of a great musician it's funny about Alex too I mean him and Davey together again down in the village I thought they'd gone back to San Francisco so did I say what do you say we drop in and see him sometime for old time's sake I'd rather not those old times are over what's these are trying to rake them up again never works sometimes it does how do you mean Stella you're not too tired to talk for a minute are you what's on your mind well I've I've been doing a lot of thinking lately making up a lot of speeches about life and marriage and fate you know very profound stuff but it all seems very silly now that I'm sitting here with you like this somehow it doesn't go with you you're too honest and direct what is it all right here goes what do you say we call this marriage off yeah a market up to experience a grand adventure while it lasted but I don't let's spoil it by beginning to pretend a lot of things we don't feel you're still in love with Alex aren't you yes I suppose so I thought it was over I guess you just can't turn those things on and off yeah of course not you that's what I'm getting at but but no there aren't any butts about it I'm a lucky guy to have had you as long as I had I'm grateful for every minute of it but I want you to be happy I guess I never should have married you I honestly didn't realize what I was doing down in my heart I guess I belong to Alex I always have sure I know that now I guess I should have known it all along well you go on to get a divorce then you too can make a life for yourselves a real life no not a word people talk too much anyhow he's a pride of Greenwich Village hello snapper yeah did you come to see Alex yes I did he be through in a while then we're having our own private party party sure yeah come on over here we got a table all set for us oh but look snapper I just wanted to see Alex I didn't want to hone in on a private party come on come on say the boys will fall all over each other when they see you still hey is that stellar Kirby hello Davey oh say are you terrific you look like you were born on Fifth Avenue oh you look pretty swell yourself how are you anyhow never better say where's Charlie I ain't seen him in years oh he's out of town Davey oh that's a shame you know he's the only one of the old gang not here hey Alex Alex look what I found hey stellar Kirby everybody our own little personal gift to Broadway just like all home week a maestro hello Stella hello Alex just in time for the celebration sit down oh this is Jerry Allen Mrs. Dwyer how do you do how do you do how's jolly oh fine thanks I didn't mean to bust you know and you're like this well I'm glad you did you see we're leaving right after you finish up leaving yeah sure we're on our way to Europe Stella how do you like it Europe you mean the band yeah one of those horses who's hit us finally we landed the contract that's wonderful but it's rather sudden isn't it well you see they needed a band in a hurry and we were lucky hey lucky nothing we've got the hardest band in New York and yada here Jerry sing you're with a band yes I am she took your place I tried to anyway Jerry is great one of the best hey Alex Alex is a couple of friends of mine over there want to meet you give him a break will you okay excuse me Stella don't be long Alex I'm sorry I missed hearing you sing Jerry thank you I enjoyed your show very much how long have you been with the band ever since it started again I was one of the charter members then you must have met Alex soon after he came back from the war yes he was still in sort of a days from it I stepped in and helped him snap out of it that was very fortunate for him for me too you see Alex and I are going to be married well I'm really very happy for you thanks all right boys it's gonna work come on Jerry already oh Miss Kirby would you sing this one if you don't mind I love it I know yeah why not Stella sort of goodbye Jesse just for luck I'll make an announcement well Stella and guess I haven't much of a chance I mean I won't have much of a chance to say goodbye to you later so say it now Alex goodbye goodbye and good luck to you over there good luck to you we have a great celebrity with us tonight Miss Stella Kirby we bring you back three of Alexander's ragtime band with Alice Fey Ray Milan and Robert Preston during this short intermission here's Libby Collins with more news from the fashion front what is it tonight Libby fingertip fashions mr. Roy rings on her fingers and bells on her toes rings on her fingers is right mr. Roy great big ones a ring with one huge stone is the smartest thing this season and topaz and aquacolor stones the most popular they're inexpensive and very striking looking white beads combined with crystal are especially good for bracelets they're really lovely they're so cool and fragile that means hands have to look cool and fragile too don't they certainly do rough red hands are out of fashion anytime whether a woman wears rings or not we'll have to do something about that the best place to start is in the kitchen when you're doing the dishes now don't use harsh soaps that roughen your hands instead try new quick luxe it's a wonderfully mild and pure it helps your hands stay soft and dainty and feminine a test of five leading soaps including luxe proved that hundreds of women took the test dipping one hand in luxe suds the other in suds from another soap they did this for 20 minutes three times a day for weeks under conditions similar to home dishwashing when their hands were examined scientists conducting the tests found the luxe hands were still smooth and soft the other hands rough and red and ugly looking think of that one hand test when you're buying soap for your dishes and ask for new quick luxe it comes in the same familiar box at no extra cost it's fast it's thrifty and it's so gentle it'll help keep your hands soft smooth and lovely looking we pause now for station identification this is the Columbia broadcasting system curtain rises on the third act of Alexander's ragtime band six months of past and Alexander's ragtime band in England and on the continent has gone from one success to another but the months have been empty ones for Stella her heart is no longer in her work alone on the darkened stage of the Globe theater she sits at the piano idly picking out a tune hey take it easy what do you say no use going on like this you know as well as I do I haven't been delivering what you're crazy you've just been off your feed you'll snap out of it all right no it's more than that there's no use messing things up for everybody I just can't give so I'm bowing out Stella do you realize what you're doing what this means to you do you know you're throwing away everything you've worked for all your life yes I know but I'm an old hand at throwing things away sorry Mac okay I guess you know what you're doing I'd better tell Mr. Dillingham because I don't mind walking they say that London fog makes your cheeks rosy but I'm afraid it makes you wet too I'm sorry Jerry we'll get a can come on I was just kidding I wanted to see if you still remembered how to talk I guess I'm not very good company these days what's on your mind Alex the band's doing swell you've got a chance to go back to New York if you want on that radio deal we're sitting on top of the world what more do you want are you gonna take that program maybe Jerry what I was just thinking let's get married are you on that subject again well why not a couple of months ago was all set let's take the plunge now tonight you don't really want to marry me you're just trying to avoid the bachelor tax don't you think we get along of course we would and why not because you are in love with me Alex I used to think you were but I was wrong you mean an awful lot to me Jerry I know I do but that's not enough to marry on I'm not complaining Alex and I'm not asking for a thing just remember that you think too straight for me Jerry but you're a swell person thanks let's go shall we that fog is leaking through my shoes played by Alexander's rag time with us again next week at the same time Alexander may be heard nightly in the tropics room of the Drake Hotel in New York this is Darren Howard speaking and good night trying to see before the show but you were pretty busy Charlie is great to see you come on I want to speak to you oh swell have you been doing oh so so say I hear you're doing all right yeah I've been pretty lucky what's all this about a concert at Carnegie Hall well it's not settled yet but I've got an idea people might go for the modern stuff yeah sure why not yeah say you've been writing anything Charlie oh little I got a number I thought you might like to hear I'll be glad to I'll plug it at the hotel thanks I'll bring it in tomorrow Stella I don't know what I haven't heard from her in a long time she disappeared right after the divorce divorce you and Stella divorced yeah just didn't pan out I knew she wasn't in show business but I I thought you two are leading a quiet life someplace raising a family not Stella things got a little tough for me and she walked down now I should have expected it what are you talking about Stella wouldn't walk out on anybody she did on me you're a liar Charlie Stella's as well as girl I ever knew if she walked out on you she had a good reason so you're still in love with it well what of it well that's all I wanted to know she's still in love with you you weren't gonna sock me were you and she didn't walk out how you know her better than that we just busted up that's all Charlie I've got to find it sure but where I tried for months somebody saw in Chicago singing in some dive by the time I got there she'd gone she's changed her name dropped right out of the picture folks are pretty little vocalist miss Lily Lamont you say I wanted to ask you Stella Kirby singing here no no no Lily Lamont I changed my name before the personality seen Alex no you're going to his concert tonight aren't you no I don't think so you ought to go Stella this is a pretty big night for him he kind of like to know you were sitting out there he doesn't need me no well he's been looking high and low for you that's all yes why don't you go and see him no no let him keep thinking of me the way I was oh you're crazy Stella you're coming with me I got a box no thanks finish up here tonight and I'm catching a train at 11 oh look still still I gotta make a telephone call I'll be right back you're going to call Alex Alex no no certainly not sit tight I'll only be a minute yeah I will oh Joe Joe what's your mother Joe when when that fella comes back tell him I couldn't wait will you where do you want to go now lady I don't care I still got an hour to kill before my train leaves just drive around okay how about the park doesn't matter like some music kind of helps the past the time away that guy sure got it who's that coming from Carnegie Hall Alexander's right time band I was a matter lady don't you like it want me to turn it off well stop we ought to stop so we can appreciate it oh that's where it comes from that's Carnegie Hall over there but I didn't ask to go to Carnegie Hall I know you didn't might as well be standing still as cruising around all right the magic can't be inside and hear it right turn it off now we've got to listen to one play Alexander's ragtime band we can't go without that I don't want to hear it turn it off I tell you why don't you want to hear it because I can't gentlemen we're going to play Alexander's ragtime band for two reasons one because I consider it the first and best of all swing songs second because this particular song means more to me than any other piece of music hearing it may take you back playing it takes me back so if you'll forgive me I'd like to play this song not only for you but especially for the one person with whom I associated did you hear that Miss Kirby how did you know my name I heard you sing many a time and you remembered me sure he was great you ought to be in there miss Kirby go on why don't you go ahead just wanted to watch a minute I'm Stella Kirby oh miss Kirby well of course miss Kirby come right over here you can see fine from here miss Kirby I'm so forget it look out there he sees your Stella he wants you out there no I can't go ahead go on out there this is your number Stella Stella come out here no no no I go on I tell you go on how to girl Stella come on Stella sing sing darling sing give Alexander's ragtime band with Alice Fay Ray Merland and Robert Preston mr. DeMille returns with our stars in just a moment while we're waiting we have time for a song about well about something that women all over the country using their homes every day and that is speedy new quick looks listen to the song of bubbly luck sir millions of bubbles so speedy luck bubbles will bubble your troubles away life is a song with bubbly luck sir fluffy white bubbles these 50 bucks bubbles will bubble your troubles away here's new quick looks turn on the water here come the bubbles you've hardly begun when your work is all down hold life is a song with bubbly luck sir millions of bubbles those speedy luck bubbles are ever so gentle you say that song tells how new quick looks flakes helps you they're fast they're thrifty and so gentle kind to hands and kind to washable colors and fabrics to ask for the generous large box of new quick looks flakes tomorrow it's in the same familiar package and cost you no more here's mr. DeMille with our stars tonight we welcome three new stars to these footlights as Alice Fay Ray Milan and Robert Preston take their first curtain call in the Lux Radio Theater thank you mr. DeMille I think we all had a good time here this week doing Alexander's ragtime band and the three strangers we found our way around without any trouble what I hear Alice has been finding a way around most of the United States in the last few weeks just part of it Bob I went to Pittsburgh for the premiere of Lillian Russell and then on to New York for the first showing there this you like best Pittsburgh in New York I used to live in New York but I always wanted to try personally I think these trips around the country when a picture opens are one of Hollywood's greatest inventions I made one with mr. DeMille last year and you've got to make another one this year Bob a good stiff gallop for Northwest Mountain police if I can only stick with you long enough boss I may see the world yet well we're taking a little trip in the Lux Radio Theater next Monday night Bob a trip across the Pacific in the play till we meet again who's going to be in it mr. DeMille our stars will be Merle Oberon George Brent and Pat O'Brien in the same parts they played on the Warner Brothers screen production of till we meet again it's the drama of two people who fall in love the first time they meet and the barrier that stands between them each has a strange secret a secret they dare not tell and which leads to some of the best drama of the year Merle Oberon George Brent and Pat O'Brien well that's three pretty strong reasons for listening so mr. DeMille goodnight goodnight goodnight goodnight our sponsors the makers of Lux Flakes joined me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Lux Radio Theater presents Merle Oberon George Brent and Pat O'Brien in till we meet again this is Cecil B. DeMille saying goodnight to you from Hollywood heard in tonight's play with Hal K. Dawson the snapper Nancy Leitch is Jerry Wally mayor is Davey do Merle as manager Warren Ash as Eddie and Earl Ross Fred Shields Walter White Dick Ryan lowest Collier and James Eagles Irving Berlin's latest musical show Louisiana Purchase has already brought the applause of critics and public alike Robert Preston is now on the screen in the Paramount Technicolor production Typhoon in which he co-stars with Dorothy Lamour Ray Milland will soon be seen in the same studio's Technicolor picture untamed our music was directed by Lewis Silvers and your announcer has been Melville Roick heard tonight for the title song from the picture Alexander's ragtime band and say say it with music from the music box review of 1921 this is the Columbia broadcasting system


that's a cheap laugh. And welcome to The Fix, the only show that unites the hard right and the soft left in unanimous scorn. As ever, we'll be covering some of the news stories that have caught our beady collective eye over the last couple of days and seeing as it's Valentine's Day in a couple of days, I'm joined by Navarro Media romance correspondent Joanna Romero to talk about love, sex and the radical potential of neither. And just like we did a couple of weeks ago, we are going to be running and ask me anything. So get stuck into the comments, ask us questions about romance, about sex, present us with your troubles and let us answer your queries with all the sensitivity that Navarro Media is famous for. A wealth of experience really. On your side, I'm a nun. So Joanna, why don't you kick us off? What new story has caught your eye? Well, this is perhaps not very romantic, Ash, but it certainly has created some meltdowns on Twitter over the last 24 hours after it came to the fore that attendees to the upcoming Young Labour Equalities Conference, what a mouthful, must be not only under the age of 27, Young Labour, but exclusively from minority groups, which is to say that only women, black and Asian and other minority ethnic, LGBT and disabled people can attend. Now, because among other things, these people are electing their representatives, the voices to be for the coming year to help organize their identity-based sort of events. It seems to be that a lot of the alt-right has felt a bit in conservative opinions have felt very offended by this.  And, I mean, we had conservative MP James Cleverly suggesting that at a conference specifically focusing on electing and representatives of oppressed groups, you can't be a straight white man and be passionate about diversity, whatever that's supposed to mean, as long as you're in the Labour Party, it seems, or right-barred assistant editor and chief troll Jack Montgomery tweeting the Met Police and the Equality and Human Rights Commission on whether it was lawful to excluding or of excluding straight white men from these events. Now, honestly, Ash, I have to ask you to explain this kind of outreach to me because, I mean, I just feel like we went into a vortex and the alt-right is a little bit sudden, even more idiotic than I thought they were, so... I mean, this is a safe space for straight white men. We are joined by Captain Jean-Luc Picard and we hold him in great esteem here, so this is a safe space. I mean, look, another day, another indignity for the straight white man. And I know that I've covered this extensively before when Ben Bradley MP, the other Tory eugenicist, got a bee in his bonnet about the West Midlands Labour Conference, which offered a discounted rate for Black and Asian minority ethnic attendees. But I think that this is worth thinking about carefully because pushing a culture wars narrative that the left is intent on demonizing straight white men is becoming more and more central to conservative communication strategy. And let's be real, they're leaning hardest on the white bit of that formulation. They don't really care about the straight or the male so much because I've yet to see them kick off about the existence of gay bars or the women's institute or the Tory's own women-to-win schemes. The real beef is the idea that white people might not be welcome in all spaces. And this next bit is just for the white people now, so viewers of colour go make a cuppa or listen to D'Angelo. I understand the pushback. I understand that lots of white people feel annoyed by the idea that they benefit somehow from their whiteness or that the presence of white people automatically means the presence of racism. I really understand that. But with all love and all kindness, this really isn't about you. Look, literally half of my family are white, ditto my circle of friends and roughly the same proportion of the Navarra media crew, and I still need spaces which are just people of colour to talk about what it's like to live under racism and for us to make decisions about ourselves without having to do a class in fuckries 101. And it doesn't matter how woke a white person is on race, developing a friendship or a relationship of any kind where one person experiences an oppression on the basis of their identity and the other person doesn't, it's always a journey. There's conflict, there's misunderstandings and there's sometimes even despair. And that process is definitely worth it and personally it's brought a lot of joy into my life but it is work. When I got strip searched at an airport and my white friends didn't, explaining how that made me feel and the reasons behind what went down was work. Or when I'm with my white stepdad and I can detect hostility and he thinks that everything's just fine, that's work.  And doing that all the time is exhausting and sometimes as people of colour we just want a base level of understanding from the get-go. We don't always want to do all that talking and take all the time to make ourselves legible to white people. Sometimes our priority isn't to be understood by you, it's to understand ourselves.  Sounds so simple. Sounds so obvious. I mean why do you think that the Tories are going so hard on these quite, I mean no offence, piddly little conferences that previously people wouldn't really care about? I mean I don't know what you think about it but I suspect that there is a serious fear now that you know people are a bit more in tuned with the fact that there is oppression going on, surprise, surprise, you know some people don't have all the privilege, you know, some people do and then the rest of us don't.  I mean do you think it's because they've lost the economic arguments, they're having to make these culture wars ones? Yeah, I mean I personally can't see why else they would really cling at straws at this point and have a go at young labour equality's conference. I mean then you saw it across the media as well, you know it's not just people on Twitter I think it should be said. The Times picked it up and ran with it. Evening Standard did as well, Big Peace as well and so on and so forth. So I just, you know, it boggles the mind. How effective do you think it's going to be? I suspect it won't be very effective because it's such a ridiculous argument. I mean as you pointed out just now there are so many forms in which we keep it as a safe space to a certain identity while all of a sudden a equality's conference should be the bastion for, you know, all access to everyone including the incredibly privileged white straight male and probably I suspect from a lot of certainly from the conservative tweets these are upper middle class white straight male as well. I think James Tevely must be said. Fine.  But yeah, so that's true, yeah. I perhaps doesn't fit the whole view. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like so shocked with Times with these things because it's nobody would say particularly if you find yourself and you point out this question around race, you know, I think it's predominant here because again if this was a women's only space nobody would probably have flinched on it and all of a sudden they're making a big issue about white men cannot be included in a discussion around diversity. I mean the thing is no one's saying that they can't it's just that this one space isn't for you. I mean there are all manner of events and panels and films and documentaries and books and reading lists that white people can access to learn about racism. This is just one conference. One conference. I mean it's also so facetious in the sense that you know like white men can be gay as you went out, can be disabled. I mean there's so many you know can be trans there's so many elements of that in which it's not necessarily white males barred at the door. So yeah it's just it clearly is a conference that probably it only excludes those who ultimately speak every single day above every other voice and so so that the you know there's a bit of silence from that corner of the room. Well tell you what there is a reason to be cheerful. There is. Because actually it's all going to be fine because last week a discovery was made that has meant that racism is ended forever. Can we roll the clip? This is what people look like in Western Europe and Britain 10,000 years ago. Not what we would have expected. So a team mapping ancient DNA at the Natural History Museum presented evidence that the Cheddar Man, a 10,000 year old mummified boatwalk skeleton, the remains of one of the first settlers of Britain. Whereas I always thought that Cheddar Man always sounded a bit like your weed plug but okay. Had dark to black skin, black curly hair and blue eyes rather than fair skin and light hair. That's you know for the most part been assumed in scientific circles up till now. So Joe talk me through some of the reactions to this. It's interesting because it's kind of connected to what we're talking before in terms of race for sure because I think the first thing we can take away from this is that the Cheddar Man has until now been depicted as this sort of white bearded rather scruffy looking dude. Jeremy Corbyn? Well clearly not. Jeremy Corbyn is not our forefather it turns out. Shocker. Just our political father. Great guidance. Basically this whole story is more of an indicative of the way in which British identity is really constructed on sort of you know a rhetoric around whiteness rather than actual scientific fact you know if we've been thinking about the Cheddar Man up until this point till the N.A. had to be traced as a white dude. Why is that?  That's not real science. Anyway yeah no no not according to most. Anyway the point is that I think people have been thinking of the Cheddar Man as this white dude because of British chauvinism you know it tells Britain what they should be. White constantly all the time. And for a country in which the rhetoric is and this question of like British values and you know what being British is so often even if unspokenly linked to whiteness and indeed to white supremacy this is one of those like hilarious and delicious plot twists you know you can see the BNP members crawling around their houses in you know raging. So what have these reactions been like? Well I think the first reaction that we've seen is really a question of just proof that the British society is still incredibly racist sorry. And you know there's there's more subtle comments from Piers Morgan making these connections between Lord Sugar, Stan and and the Cheddar Man's obviously darker skin but then you have like full blown racism like I think there's someone blocked of Twitter after photoshopping a picture of the Prince Harry and Meghan Markle engagement pictures yeah replacing Meghan Markle a mixed race American with an image of the reconstructed Cheddar Man. So you know that's been that sort of full blown in your face horrendousness. And if you're asking me whether racism is yet dead and buried I'm sorry to like ruin a few guys but I don't think so.  And you know and actually the silver lining in a sense although this might sound like a bit naff. I mean there's definitely a reason to celebrate this discovery because in a time in which anti-immigrant sentiment and again white supremacist rhetoric has been seemingly increasing all the time certainly on you know national media there's been a lot of people giving spaces to very very horrendous opinions. The Cheddar Man. Not just Navarro not just Navarro media for sure definitely not Navarro media come on we're great. Anyway it just kind of comes to prove Cheddar Man just comes to prove once again that actually this country is based on diversity on the work of people who are not white who have traveled around and you know much like any other country you know the people actually made it and you know the reason why we're here is because of people who are not necessarily the ones that are represented or representative of our you know leadership structures or mainstream media and so forth so you know dark-skinned blue-eyed blue-eyed ancestors I mean like. I mean you know what because there are enough South Asians from where I grew up who are like putting context on the right to look just like Cheddar Man. Basically just want to be the you know the original British exactly exactly I mean so here's the interesting thing right so Cheddar Man is an ancestor for one in ten white Britons in this country and what does this tell us I don't why do you still turn so badly I mean why well not me no but I mean these these white people going on about you know like how how can it be that the original Britain is a is a black man I mean the thing is and I think that even the terminology that we use is out of date right because what this shows us is that race as a socially constructed technology of governance where we assign cultural meaning and group belonging to phenotypic indicators like skin color, hair color, hair texture, eye color is relatively modern it's relatively new so this is the you know the stuff of centuries rather than millennia and to be honest we didn't have to go as far back as the Cheddar Man. I love saying Cheddar Man so much like sounds like my future husband like a man made of Cheddar. Call me Boo. The great thing we don't have to go as far back as Cheddar Man so have you heard of Septimius Severus before yeah so he was a Roman emperor who was just bopsing about Hadrian's wall back around second century AD and who was born in North Africa the images of him showing with you know dark somewhat curly hair so you know we don't know what he'd look like if he'd looked like someone we would now label as black or if he'd looked maybe more like you know Margrebi or something but it just shows us that this link of phenotype to power position relatively new and me and Karemnizhen Jolu discussed this on the invention of whiteness it's a Navarra FM podcast that we did a couple of years ago and to be quite honest with you it's one of the pieces of work for Navarra that I'm proudest of and what we do is we sort of trace the beginnings of how people come to think of culture as being hereditary transmitted and it becomes this taxonomy of race right back to the kind of you know 15th century we look at Ottoman expansion we look at the transatlantic slave trade we look at the Spanish conquest of the Americas and we also look at a bit earlier than that the expulsion of the Jews the expulsion of the Mariscos and we look at the free conquest of Al-Andalus so if you're interested in how race becomes socially constructed which isn't the same as not real has very real social effects listen to this podcast I was just going to ask I mean ultimately doesn't this just prove again that white identity is premised very much on whitewashing a series of really important characters I mean you could even talk about Jesus Christ at this point part fiction part real whatever but 100% Palestinian but exactly you know or you know St. George and so on so forth I mean all these characters that clearly were not necessarily the blonde blue-eyed white men literally white knights and then who just been appropriated literally I mean those things that whiteness has to be read retrospectively back on to history right so if we think about it as the product of a particular historical time period you have to read it back and I think what the Chetaman discovery does do and I think that this is something which I don't think necessarily means that race relations if you can say that the race relations in this country necessarily changes that much but it shifts our idea of what the universal backdrop is right because even in 2017 2018 we're thinking that whiteness is the universal backdrop and then anything else is a deviance from that whereas this is just completely inverted that in a way that I think is quite interesting so we are about to go to a little break and when we come back you better have loads of really uncomfortable questions for us because otherwise we're just going to be talking about our own sex lives and that's even worse so see you right back over the last 10 years things have really changed but for all the darkness every cause has an effect for all the talk of change the present moment is really one of crisis a crisis of democratic representation of identity a climate crisis of a failing economic model which isn't working for most people we can't have a media that's beholden to advertisers or the political ambitions of oligarchs which is why in 2013 we founded navara media unlike corporate media we are funded by our subscribers there's no tax avoiders there's no oil money and there's no lords what we're creating is media for you which quite simply you make possible looking to race 40 000 pounds that will allow us to not only keep on paying our contributors but give them a little bit more as well as keep our studio and take our fantastic navara events nationwide to help us get there go to support dot navara media dot com and give a one-off donation or even better sign up for a subscription we've already achieved so much but the truth is we've barely started okay so now that valentine's day that delight of social constructed climates of romance is just around the corner um i thought we needed to say something about it on avara i mean come on we just had you and aran bistani talking about dating tips just the other day so this is the week to do it really come on um but i personally actually hate the damn thing i write about sex all the time and i'm happy to talk about my sex life uh but i hate valentine's day with a vengeance because invariably i mean i'm horrible romantic and invariably every single valentine's day there i am waiting for my valentine's card nothing comes no flowers or nothing it's so sad anyway so the way i've found uh to circumvent that is to actually talk about the last remaining bastion of subversiveness when it comes to dating which is sex really effectively and even that has been very often co-opted by um capitalist system uh and you know what's most shocking at it's recently i've been writing an article for an avara which should be dropping on the website any minute now and uh and i explore the fact that i've realized recently that no matter where if you're a woman no matter where you turn in terms of your sex life you're uh you're uh screwed over and by by the system which means that on the one hand you're told constantly that you're meant to be this virginal you know sort of Madonna type if you want to use the the old Freudian trope of the Madonna versus the whore um on the other if you know if you're really being encouraged by uh western media and if you're in charge of your sexuality more often than not you are depicted and you engage with other people in their sexuality not just self-love um you're sort of encouraged to be a bit of a man-eater and the problem with that whilst it gives you or you as a woman or any woman a bit more space um and it uh avoids a prudish moors that our society still sort of applies on to us all the time it kind of ends up mimicking a lot of that you know capitalist accumulation and and commodity fetishization you're effectively accumulating dick um so at least that's how i feel uh so so yeah so it's this sort of horrendous uh a discovery really for me that no matter where i turn as a woman my sexuality or my sex life is fucked up by capitalism and co-opted and restricted and construed um and so there's really only one way to escape it which is to burn it with fire abolish capitalism once and for all and the patriarchy as an artifact of capitalism on that so that's why that's why i escape and that's the date activity to burn it all down and abolish capitalism but you know you mentioned um being prudish and repressed i think our view is a bit prudish and repressed because we've only had one question so far so get on it send them in i want to know your business and tell you what well we kill a little bit of time i'm gonna be a little bit sincere for a minute if i can be a bit sincere for a minute go for it so i gather around the hearth children because this doesn't happen very often because when you're not in a relationship valentine's day can feel very bleak it can feel very alienating and it's difficult but romance is not the be all and the end all of love and i like to think of love as the modality in which solidarity is lived there's a terrific love poem by assata chicour who writes that love is contraband in hell because love is an acid that eats away bars and this wasn't just an artful metaphor for her when she and her family were being surveilled harassed or having the breaks of their car cut or threatening letters sent by law enforcement she wrote that their attempts to destroy family unity to make people afraid to even have a relationship with her didn't work she wrote we survived it we resisted together we struggled together and that has made us all of us much more serious about who we are and about our love for each other and i think when you stop a charter flight from taking off and deporting asylum seekers that's love when you protest against deaths in police custody that's love joining a picket line is love canvassing your neighborhood is love and any act of resistance where you choose not to hate those who the far right tell you to hate is love and in a much less lofty sense it's okay to feel nervous about being single as well loneliness is as much a part of the human condition as love is and it's only through being honest with yourself that it's possible to find any kind of comfort but really confronting your fear of being alone is one of the best things you can do i think especially if you're a woman independence i wouldn't give it up even for antony joshua now and i think as women we're so used to pouring in love and time into a romantic relationship or the possibility of one and you can risk losing yourself and i know that i did and so i guess what i'm saying is that with or without a partner you are enough whatever you're feeling that's cool go for dinner with your honey stay at home have a wank smoke a spliff or go out and get wavy with the mandem it's all good at the end of the day it's just Wednesday happy valentine's day scumbags i think i'm gonna cry a little bit that was beautiful that was the most beautiful i mean like just i do weddings bar mitzvahs wakes if you need a bit of speechifying i'm not sure how many questions we've got we definitely have um one oh okay all right go on hit me so we've got uh from mark richardson i'm terrible with people and can't get a date well mark what can we advise them to the camera right so i don't know what could be terrible with people mean well yeah precisely it depends like are you terrible with people that you feel shy or are you terrible with people that i don't know you piss on their leg when you see them like straight away because then don't do that that's um off the ding um i mean some people might be into that though you don't you have to shame me now you would have to ask you know i'm really bad for kink shaming but they can't get a date how do you ask people on dates mark i mean we need more information here to be able to advise you is this the question of like not knowing what kind of icebreaker to use uh okay what good icebreakers well you know what like god i can't believe i'm actually giving this sort of advice i mean i tend to do things like good when i when it's at the bar like old school time which rarely happens nowadays really um ask someone uh for a drink i saw this from a horrendous uh confession here i actually read about this by some sort of i know self-help advisor when it comes to romance was it jordan pete is it no it's matthew hussey i think anyway um and he's suggesting i try this on actually works so um you talk to someone at the bar when you first go to get a drink that you fancy if you fancy them and then you kind of leave it at that and then at the end of the evening or whatever you go back to it and it kind of feels like you've built a report because it wasn't right straight in your face and to be fair if you're in a straight dynamic and you're a man and you want to approach a woman without getting her to run for the hills because to be honest that's very often the reaction i have when any man approaches me in a situation that is already you know sensorially overwhelming as a pub or club or something it's actually a really easy approach to to talk to someone very briefly at the beginning and then maybe at the end and remember if she still leaves it's not you it's just she's not interested and you should definitely not insist you know what you know what i think um is helpful advice maybe i'm not sure is what i find really really attractive like as a quality and i know it when i see it even though it can manifest itself in different ways in different guys is money oh no not just money um when when a man is honesty i like it as well as money is um when a man is really like settled and secure in himself so sometimes that can manifest in a guy sometimes being a bit reserved because he doesn't feel that he has to like dominate every space or sometimes they can be really enthusiastic but i think people can detect in authenticity straight away so mark if you feel that you're terrible with people and that means that you feel you're just like going through personas like it's i don't know a deck of cards or something stop doing that like have a real careful think about the kind of person you are and just let it out and people will see it and they'll appreciate that people really like a sense of solidness in who you are and failing that get rich yeah i can't argue with the rich one kind of helps i'm reaching reaching 30 and suddenly realizing that a bit of cash is helpful mark says that he doesn't piss on people's legs which is great oh from francis smith oh go on this one for you for me it's Joanna free on valentine's day oh goodness uh i i'm actually not sorry sorry i'm not but that said it's the sort of gallantines thing that i'm doing so francis is a man or a woman i can't uh it's francis with an i so i think i think francis is a man um so sorry you're not another another exclusive realm safe space just for women i'm so busy oh okay catarina anis i've just found out that the guy i like is an evangelical christian should i avoid like the plague even though he is otherwise woke and i've already named our future children what would you do i i have an interesting experience this summer i met a man who was very good looking uh marvelous kisser and um but he was a big catholic uh so he had reincarnated like like close to it except that he was like woke in a sense that he also didn't want to ascribe a gender to god so god could be a woman i i don't want to out him too much here but anyway and i thought you know what i was raised a catholic and i i flooded like the plague so more often than not my knee jerk reaction is uh this man is a christian of some description i'm not into that i've had enough of that for 15 years in my life um but i thought you know what he seems really cool um and he's so good looking i'm gonna give it a one spin um and then i never did because turns out that his religiousness really impinged on his views on me and my open sexuality uh and how of an emancipated woman i am and uh and so it ended up actually ruining things quite a lot so so set out catarina first uh maybe uh maybe your bae is great um but it might happen that his religious views end up tinging a lot of his other views um and you know what you know what i think if you've already picked out some children's names then there's a shame to put them to waste so what you say to your man catarina is you go in the name of the father the son and the holy spirit i beseech you leave your genetic material on the table and go and then you tell him to go yeah i mean if he's very good looking for sure for sure i mean you know what it's i'm still really in the fact that i didn't give them an a spin at the end to be fair so a spin yeah like i wanted to you know try it out a spin like when we were kissing how does one spin i know what i mean i'm using the euphemism oh okay so there's no actual spinning involved well that might be can that be it could be anyway the point i was making is that like you know when we're making out i could feel things and i'm like i really want to try this out and then i never did so so definitely catarina give it a go if you feel like it's worth it you know what i've actually um when i've like met guys who are much better muslims than me because i'm a really really terrible muslim is that i've sometimes felt like you know what i'm gonna leave this one for a la like i don't want to corrupt you so i'm just gonna leave you in the arms of god where i found you and hopefully that will be enough to get me into heaven when you know there's someone with like a checklist of all the bad things i've done you're checking all the bases i mean there might be god there might not be a god but in any case you're you know i mean i i'm almost certain that there is a god because one time um i found a 20 pound note on the floor ooh another question we've got two questions okay tell us we've got one which is a very specific one lauren crawford there's someone i fancy at my local momentum group all they ever want to do is talk about the labor party dot dot dot i like that i love political pillow talk um i mean i kind of there's only so much labor party talk that i can handle whether in navara or on a date so if basically you want to move things on to um like more productive territory than the labor party which is basically like are you gonna bang though you can just ask are you gonna bang though all what you can do is i'm all about plausible deniable dates like plausibly deniable dates so i'm like oh yo do you want to come do this thing and it's like an activity yeah but it's not like oh let's like canvas or like whatever it's like it's kind of fun but related to the activity that you're already doing socials momentum social no don't go to momentum social i mean like go to an exhibition or something i've done it it worked for me everything works for you it's not true i'm still single which which actually got to dig through what you were saying before just like i should not define myself on my relationship someone asked you out on this i know i'm sorry francis i'm so sorry anyway i just think like take him on like a plausibly deniable date exhibitions are really good and then you go for a drink afterwards and then you just see how it goes and then when it gets so like you know closing time or something then you're like are we gonna bang and then if he's like uh no you're like oh obviously i was joking and then if he's like oh we could bang then you'd be like yeah we bang i see that's another tip i have i do that often i go on a date or a semi date whatever and then if nothing happens because for some reason i couldn't get there but i felt there was still potential i text them afterwards going oh it's such a shame i thought we're gonna kiss and then if they say uh no i didn't get them i was like i'm so tipsy uh and then one from james hardy have either of you ever seen aron bastani in the buff um he's like my big brother so when he was skinny dipping on brighton beach it was intensely traumatic for me and i wiped it from my memory um okay what have we got here we've got from the fixer's own michael walker best app to find a valentine's date question mark our shout outs for partners on twitter socially acceptable best app to find a valentine's date i reckon go for twitter actually michael i always say no to people ask me out on twitter no you've got to do um what you've got to do is like a little bit of banter and then what then the key to get someone to do a dm slide i've worked this out yeah is um you trail off on the like verbal banter and you just do a gif so the flirty one where reanna is like failing to wink that's like really good and then someone jumps in your dms and then michael i'm sure you can take up from there our shout outs for a partner on twitter socially acceptable um no not specific ones where it's like i am lonely and my ankles are behind my ears um that's probably a bit too much but if you're like oh what what people say in tonight also like plausible deniability again key also like you know like a low-key uh thirst trap is always welcome i mean it's part and parcel of being a millennial no a low-key thirst trap yeah like a high-key thirst trap you do when you do a good ones as well but then the thing is that i don't do anything as someone slides into my dms and then like i'm too afraid um we've got one from hannah shake men keep dumping me because i am spooky what's a girl to do girlfriend you're not spooky you're just being a strong woman i'm sure like men bail all the freaking time well it depends like maybe she's got like a mouth full of pigeons blood or something which is cool where do you get these ideas from ash she said she used the word spooky well spooky could be just like you know her being really real i get dumped all the time by men who just can't handle how you know fierce and outspoken i am and how many other dicks i've seen before them to be fair and i'm okay with that you know what i get dumped when men realise that their wallet's missing i've never tried that i should really start as well i'm broke i'm like this dominoes ain't paying for itself yeah like i'm a freelance writer now i really need to start stealing some men's wallets but you know what hannah hannah i reckon you just go out with a man who's just as spooky as you because look if you're if you're basically a warlock my love why are you going out with man who looks like abacrombie and fit your model if you don't need that find someone as spooky as you there's actually oh my god a friend of mine went home with a guy because she's like a bit gothy and she's very sweet looking she's like a bit gothy she went home with a guy and it turned out that he lived like above a morgue and she was quite into it yeah yeah would you be into that i i personally i don't know if i would or not although i do like it's a bit of spook on the side but i i do know someone who was caught um having sex in a graveyard yeah because uh their partner had a heart attack a bit older and she had to call an ambulance this is this is back in the back in the homeland back in portugal of course of course and it was a small village as well so apparently it became a big deal um those are two good stories oh i have loads of these yeah and i i'm only ashamed that it didn't happen to me like why is it not me have you ever injured anyone during sex uh i've injured myself once i've also gone for an injured anyway but a keen trooper i am uh i don't know if i've ever injured anyone uh i'm sure at once like elbowed or something or need someone in the midst of passion but that was as bad as it got um yeah i hate i um i elbowed someone in the nose and i i bet you were hoping that i would say like oh i broke their dick one day yeah i want to hear something like really salty i haven't heard any really good injury stories actually no i had another friend this is one of the school she broke her collarbone um when she lost her virginity because like you know they're trying to move and then she fell off her collarbone okay so like where was he doing it that the collarbone was okay they fell off the bed they fell off the bed um but it healed and it didn't put her off for life um we have another query uh oh from Gary McQuiggan elbows are sexy he's our videographer so you know you didn't have to send me that bro um Emma Wery my friend is obsessed with a guy but i think he might be a Scientologist how can i get her out no that's definitely like no that's okay no but she needs the concrete advice how does she get her friend out of it i mean what is the friend seeing in the Scientologist what is the attraction again is it because like he has an amazing booty or or is it because of his views there's always a better booty there's always a better that's absolutely true i agree but emma you go for a two pronged attack my friend what you do is prong number one you don't slag off this guy at all definitely because that's just going to drive her closer towards him you're just like oh my god i'm really excited for you he sounds really great and healthy and not spooky at all da da da right so you take out any elements of like drama or forbidden whatever and then you locate a more intriguing better hung better bootied man and you just you move them into the same room and you shut the door yeah that sounds like a task and a half that's how i get my friends over someone that i don't like did that work it always works why don't you find me someone you know what i have a hundred percent success rate i serve two of my friends and now they're married i set up another two of my friends oh no i introduced them i'm taking too much credit this is an advertisement for ash sarkar's uh you know and like they live together they've been together for five years so i've got a hundred percent success rate don't start a business girlfriend honestly i'm terrible at it i'm your type my type uh bearded intellectual scruffy i mean like i'll show you i have a collage of all the men i slept with if you're in it um oh uh chris skein how do i how do i meet girls who are into fully automated luxury communism well that one's easy chris you come to any one of navara media's events but also don't act up and be a creep because then we'll kick you out come be respectful do you those moves that giana was telling you about and then you'll meet some nice girls be chill falk but um don't be a creep about it yeah was i helpful be chill i think actually on that note like i think for people who feel that you know i'm not meeting the right person and all the people i meet are wrong like just go to the things you like and meet people like the same things more often than not that's how it works really well but you know what i don't even do that i go to cool things i meet nice people and then i don't sleep with any of them um and that my friends is the source of all my power but i'm afraid we're running out of time before i can go into the virtues of living like a nun we will be here same time same place but next week um we've been the fix and you've been excellent bye bye


Can you tell me please, since you returned back to Moldova, how getting a degree in the US might help you get a job back in your home country? Well, the thing is, there was a difference. When I came back to the US, into Moldova, I didn't actually start to hunt for jobs. Other people started to hunt me to work for their companies. I mean, that's not always true, but I felt that people were trying to approach me and to offer me a job or something. It really helps you because it helps you to stand out, especially in the field of consulting or law or communications or business, because there's a huge competition in Moldova here on these jobs. The fact that you studied in the US, it helps you stand out, and I felt that. People started to recommend me, and that was the main difference and that was the main advantage. It's just they know that the US is based on the practical knowledge the employers here, and because they know that, they know