I congratulate all of you, especially the students and teachers for the new infrastructure at IIM Sambalpur. I thank the Honourable Prime Minister for taking time off his busy schedule to come here and grace the inauguration of this new campus. I hope learning here will be an enriching and exciting experience for all the students. IIMs are known for the quality of education they provide in a short span of time. IIM Sambalpur has made its mark by creating some of the best graduates. Today most of you secure jobs in corporate fields and have successful placements in the best companies in the world when you graduate from IIM. I urge each of you who have been made remarkable achievements in their careers to think of how they can contribute for their state, not only think of their school as alumni but to be alumni of the state and contribute by sharing their knowledge and vast success experience. The Honourable Prime Minister has set a new direction for India and we are on the path to become an economic powerhouse. This is a golden time for startups in India, which is a top performer in the country for promotion of startups. Our youth should be invested in using the innovative ideas for creating jobs. The energy, the brilliance and the innovative ability of our youngsters will definitely take our country to a future that will be a guiding light for the globe. Today you are hosting the first World Udhya Language Conference and are fortunate to have the Honourable Prime Minister who is a lover of Indian language, Languages with Asan Udhya. Thank you. Bandhe Udhkar Channel.


I don't think it's that deep. I don't think it's that deep. Sometimes, sometimes I don't think it's that deep. But some people, especially the way they try to make the joke sometimes, it's like, sometimes I don't know if there's a part of you that actually believes it or something like that. Not a man here who can sense me. I'm on the pier, Elohim with the energy. Black boy, tell me how you really feel? I just want to be with you. It's just annoying, to be honest, it's just annoying.  I'm just trying to walk to my next class. But problem, it's not really causing any harm to me. Doesn't really affect my mental, but it's just a nuisance, I guess, personally.  Well, at least that's, I feel like that's a lot. That's how my generation thinks personally. I don't think we really think that we're gonna get harmed because of racism, but we know it's still there. We know it's still there. Like we know if we walk into a dollar general with our hood on, people could look at us like, wear a hoodlum or whatever, but. So let's unpack that. I think that's a good place to be. What, why does that, why is that a thing slash what needs to happen? Or does something need to happen? Just mind your business. Just chill out, really. I mean, I don't really think anything needs to happen. I mean, like everyone, I feel like everyone's fine. Personally, I just think just chill out mind your business personally, that's the best way to go about it. But, yeah. Let me ask you the question in a different way. What are some potential consequences of the, what's that mean? And the people, when you walk into the dollar general or the piggly wiggly or whatever, what, like looking for, like when you're doing the hypotheticals, right? What are some potential consequences, positive or negative, that could come out of those things that are like jokes or just like mind your business? It's when they get too comfortable.  But like, I never did anything about it. And then like, it was Black History Month and we're watching this movie and class and like, I forgot what the movie was. But it was something, it was something about like, it was like about Black people and whatever. But he made some type of joke and then I was just like, yo, like, what are you doing? Like, what are you talking about right now? I literally said that in front of the whole class. I was like, what are you talking about right now? Like, why are you talking? Just listen to the movie. And then I was like, and then, yeah, I went on, he's just, was quiet for the rest of the movie. We'll watch the movie. And the teacher knew, he always made those type of jokes. So like, she didn't make me go out of class for anything because I feel like she was getting tired of it too. So yeah, I think about a certain point, people will start getting tired of the jokes and then maybe there could be violets in it. So yeah, that's what could happen, but.  And in jokes, I think it was a comedian who made the point that a joke in a lot of ways is a dog whistle. And a dog whistle is something that, it's literally a whistle that only dogs can hear because it's such a high frequency, right? So when you say something as a dog whistle, it means that certain people get it and other people might not. So when, for instance, Trump said, make America great again, it was a dog whistle to certain people in certain groups because they understood a great America is an America that looks like us, right? So with that being said, like there was a movie back in the day, I think early 20s, like way, way, way back in the day by a DW Griffith and it was called Birth of a Nation. And the only reason I'm bringing this movie up, the only reason it was significant is at the time, it was like, it was the damn superhero movie at of the time. Like they pulled out all the stops with the movie, it won a bunch of awards, they use all kinds of technology. But the movie highlighted the Ku Klux Klan and it almost painted them like the Avengers. And what were they avenging? They were avenging white dudes in blackface, stealing and harping white women or stealing from stores or doing all kinds of criminal stuff, right? And what they later realized or what intelligent black people later realized was movies are powerful. In that particular movie, established the idea of the black man in the imagination of America.  That means you're born criminal. And who is inherently and is predisposed to do the wrong thing and is a danger to society. Now, why I bring that movie up, even though it was way, way, way, way back is that unfortunately, white people, they chugged that Kool-Aid, the proverbial Kool-Aid where black people drank it too.  So a lot of those jokes are actually code for how they see you. And what's interesting is because of different things that happened historically, because people only talk about slavery because that happened way, way, way, way, way back. But they don't talk about Jim Crow. It wasn't that long ago. They don't talk about mass incarceration. It also wasn't that long ago, still happening today. They don't talk about redlining. And redlining was when they literally drew lines on maps and they said, black people can only live here and white people can only live here.  And if the popular depiction of the black person is the criminal, what do you think white people's imagination starts with when they look at you? It's a criminal. The reason that's dangerous, and the reason it's important you understand that is because those jokes come from a place that's older than the person saying it. Those jokes can also be weaponized.   So what's been your experience with white boys? When you're going through the world, noticing how they move versus black boys? They definitely move a lot more confident. They don't have to worry about much. Or this is just how I'm like, this is how I look at it. I feel like even in a lot of TV shows, that's how they portray it too. Like in this one show, All American, this light, he was a light-skinned guy, but he was in Beverly like all the other white people and all that. He didn't really have to go through any stuff people in the hood had to do with or whatever, blah, blah. And this one black guy, Spencer James, he was in the hood. He went to Beverly for football and he stayed with them and they were out at night and they were driving and he got pulled over by the cops and he was, when I say he, the light-skinned, yeah. He was all aggressive and all that. He thought he was white. Yeah, right. And that's not how the cop looked at him because he was light-skinned. So like, but then Spencer, he knew the situation. He knew what the cop was thinking. So he just complied. He just didn't say much, just complied and did what he had to do. But he just kept pushing it until he had to face the realism of what was actually going on until he literally put his head in his car for no reason and was about to go to jail. But then, yeah, the situation got handled and all that. So I think that's kind of like how white people go through life, kind of naive. I feel like if that was a white person in that situation and the black kid wasn't even in there, like the cop would have probably like said, yeah, you're good. You can go on your day, probably give them a ticket, maybe. But if it was a black guy, it probably would have escalated for hours for no reason. So white people do have to go through less. But I feel like black people feel like they're always having to have their guard up, though. Sometimes I've gotten pulled over. I just did what I had to do. I even joke with the cop. I feel like even black people, when they're getting pulled over, they're so offensive, they're so scared. That's interesting. So how do you feel about the whole conversation around, have you heard of critical race theory? Yeah, so critical race theory is they want to teach kids, they want to introduce to certain schools the real history, because a lot of our history is whitewashed, right? So really what happened, right? Particularly when it comes to race relations, Jim Crow, the whole nine. So part of the conversation is like a lot of people, people who tend to be white and Republican, are saying that it's gonna divide kids, right? And we don't want the white kids feeling bad because of what grandpa and grandma did. And then some of the black people are saying, just teach them the truth. So we don't repeat the same mistakes. So what do you understand by that? And what are your thoughts? As somebody who's in school? I think what they teach us is just like the bare minimum. I feel like we need to take more initiative and look at what actually happened more out of school. But most people aren't gonna do that. So that's why it's kind of the way that's how, that's why people know what they know because they don't really care. Honestly, they just don't really care. And a lot of black people don't really care too because they're like, as long as it's not affecting me, as long as I'm not really getting hurt by anything. And a lot of black people around my area at least aren't really getting hurt by it. So they don't really care.  Sometimes they do feel bad, but it's always just in class. They always feel bad in class. And then once they're out of class, it's like, they just forgot. It's like, they don't care anymore. And then they make the same jokes again. Just back to square one. But once we go through black history month again and they start, they have that one month of feeling bad and then it's back to normal. And sometimes they don't even feel bad. They just like, yeah, it happened. I didn't do it. I'm children. I'm good. So but you don't think it's a big enough problem to address. So like when you see people marching and when you see people protesting and all that stuff, what are your thoughts on that as it relates to some of, because what you're describing is called a microaggression. It is not aggressive, but it's the small little stuff. You know what I mean? So like what are your thoughts? Do you think it's OD? People are just too sensitive? Or is there something there? Oh no, we definitely need to talk about it. Like the protests, they're definitely like good. They're definitely there for a reason. Some people that are joining the protests, I don't really like know. I feel like the protests are there. Like people are starting those cause they've definitely went through stuff. They've seen it and all that. So they're like, we have to speak on this cause enough people haven't seen this and all that blah.  They don't really know what's actually going on. They're not really listening, but they're there to like support. Like swag. Yeah, yeah. So that's, I do think protests are definitely necessary. I mean, at least as long as you're doing it the right way and... Okay, so let's talk about that. Necessary for what and what is the right way? Right way without violence. I don't really think you need a protest with violence. I think violence usually comes in when it's other people that are against the protest come in and they try to harass the people. And then it's like, once you push people at a certain point they're gonna retaliate. So then you get that on footage and then it's like, oh, protests are bad, but like who started it? But I mean, what was the other question? Necessary for what? Necessary. I think it's necessary to understand. Like I feel like they're there to like show people like to try to make other people understand like this is still an issue. It's been a couple of years, but it's still an issue. And we need to try to address it because I don't feel like we're actually trying to like do anything about it. We're just like going along with like... So what are your understanding of the... What is your understanding of the issues? My understanding of the issues? Personally, I don't really know much about the issues.  Do you think you should? I definitely should. I definitely should, it's just the where I am. I don't really have to deal with much of that. So it's kind of just doing what I need to do and go to school, work, but I definitely go on social media and I see what's happening. So, you know, I see that it's not okay. Like I see there's still problems in the world, but I didn't take the initiative to actually look up what is going on for real. Do you think that's dangerous? Because it sounds like, it almost sounds like the kid you described in the show who's kind of oblivious, maybe not to the level of not knowing how to talk the cops, but oblivious as to what people are so pissed off about. Well, okay, I don't know why people are pissed off like so much, but like I understand like what's going on. Like the comprehension I have is like, I feel like it's enough to where I can move on with society. Like, why? Because you're saying two things. You're saying that I don't know why people are really upset, but I understand why they're upset. It doesn't make sense. You can't not know why they're upset and claim to understand it. Can you? Can you understand something you don't know? No, but I can see, like if you're watching the protests, like they're definitely, you see like the emotion in it and like it's serious and like what they're saying. So like, you know. So what are they saying? See, that's one of the critiques of your generation is that you're not plugged in. And I think it's more about the pageantry of protests than the real reason. And I think it's interesting, Martin Luther King's birthday pass recently. One of the things he said, he said, riots are the voice of the unheard. Meaning that when people have been deprived of a voice for so long, inevitably it leads to violence. Now this is a man who made his old brand about non-violence. But that's one of the things he said. When you take that initiative that you talked about to learn about the history, not only will it make you angry, right? But those things that you think are microaggressions, the, what's up my, it allows you to see it in a light that you might not have seen it before. So the question ends up being, do I prefer blissful ignorance or powerful consciousness? Because blissful ignorance, you could just go on and just, no, that is just jokes. Versus when you do your due diligence, you realize that it's deeper than that. It's a lot deeper than that. And not only is it deeper than that, but it's actually, it affects me directly. Because especially right now, one of the leading causes of death for people your age, people my age is homicide. And not necessarily homicide by cop, but also homicide by us.   You might start a problem that you don't actually want. Now the Gen Z issue is that a lot of y'all don't have the consciousness to understand the world around you. And particularly how you fit into that world around you.    You fit the description off top. Now, that could be very dangerous. That could be life-threatening. And as a black boy, it's important for you to understand how to move in that, how to swim with sharks. But if you don't know what a shark looks like, if you don't know how to swim, then you're gonna get eaten. And I think that's the reason why a lot of us are so critical of Gen Z because that goes back to your first point. Too many of you are oblivious, and dangerously oblivious. But what do you think is the reason that white people act towards you the way that they do when they first meet you?  You could be as specific as you want. So you said, why? Why do they act?  Why do you think that is? Because they know the stereotypes.  So they already have a little image in their head, but they're not gonna let that cloud them. So they come in a certain way, but they don't fully go like that.  What do you mean?  They shoot gangs, blah, blah, blah.  I don't even know. So you kind of got me slipping. Because honestly, when I'm like meeting with white people, honestly, they're really chilled, to be honest. They're actually not like that. They really don't come a certain way. They just, they're like, maybe you don't see it. Like if they did, you wouldn't see it. I really don't. I really don't think they come a certain way. They just are friendly, to be honest. They treat me like how they do with white people. Maybe that's not what every white person, but majority that I've met.  And I'm in the South. Yeah, and you're in the South. If you haven't met a white person, cause so the point I'm making is that there's certain things that you wouldn't notice until you have a certain consciousness. So for instance, if you ever met a certain white person and they say, you talk very well. No. See, I've never heard those like, all those like stuff that you've heard, you said you've heard or stuff like that. I've never really heard those like people.  That's interesting. I don't know. I've never heard. That's interesting. Yeah, I mean, stuff like you talk very well, which means that you expect me not to. Stuff that like you don't act like I thought you would. I've never heard that. You know what I'm saying? That's very interesting. Now what is your experience with black people, other black people? The ones who might be angry? They're more of like the people that come in with like a certain image, to be honest. But my experience with them is, they're always like, they're always like friendly with other black people. Of course, like they're never like a certain way. Like, oh, they actually feel more comfortable. Definitely feel more comfortable with other black people. With white people, they act a certain way. Like you kind of see it switch a little bit. Like when you're hanging out with them, like by yourself.  But... Why do you think they do that? Cause they know, like we're not, we don't, we know like what's happened. So they... Do you? Cause you just said you didn't. Yeah, okay.  I'm kind of oblivious to it, but a lot of people that I know that are like, that go to white people like in a certain way, they know like they've done their research and all that. So they are conscious of the fact that they may look at them a certain way. So they try to like act how they may want them to act. So that's kind of my experience with white people. So with the white boys who make the jokes, do you think it's a big problem or it's not a big problem or it's not that deep? Is it that deep or it's not that deep pretty much? I wish it would stop, but I don't think it's that deep. I don't, I don't think it's that deep. Sometimes, sometimes I don't think it's that deep. But some people, and it's like, especially like the way like they try to like make the joke sometimes, it's like sometimes I don't know if you're like, if there's a part of you that actually like believes it or something like that. Cause like some, some, this one kid at my school like took a picture with like, it was at a basketball game with like the two black kids on our basketball team with the ski mask on. Well, just just trying to like, I don't know. It was like, why though? But then again, they also would do that with their white friends.  It's both. To a lot of black kids, especially the young ones, blackness is a joke. Blackness is something to be played with. It's a costume, right? And that is one of the issues I'm trying to get you to understand it's a, it's a joke to them. And it's a joke that in a way insinuates that your life is a joke. Y'all are just characters that we can play. And cause one of the big things that happens is in colleges, some fraternities and sororities do like blackface parties, right? So white kids, just like you said, didn't own slaves. Didn't, you know, necessarily lynch anybody, but they not only benefit from a benefit from a legacy of that. Like their great grandfather did lynch somebody, right? But their grandfather sometimes, they are also playing with that. Like imagine you saw Jimmy, right? And you know that Jimmy's grandfather killed your grandfather. And you've heard the story of how it happened.  Or is it not that deep? No, it definitely wouldn't. It is that deep is the point I'm making. Because a lot of these things we're talking about weren't that long ago. Slavery was a long time ago, but the fallout of slavery and everything that came out of it was not that long ago, right? You know, people, people you've heard of Emmett Till, right? Emmett Till? Yeah. Emmett Till could have still been alive today. He was just, he'd been an old guy, but he'd been alive, right? When you see a lot of the pictures, like the black and white pictures of protesters and being hosed by, hosed and the dog sicked on them. And with the people in the cafeteria spitting on them and stuff like that. If you do the math, those people are like in their 60s, 70s, 80s, they're alive. So the point I'm trying to get you to understand is, it is that deep. They know those people. We live in South Carolina. Some of these kids, the wassummon kid, his uncle's in the KKK.  So it is that deep.  He just, you know, just watching TV and that's why he is like that. But it's informed by centuries of history. And to not know that history but claim to understand it is dangerous.  Because there's a lot of context you miss.  That if you don't know better, it's just, So, because, you know, when you study history and the thing that I appreciate about history so much is that you realize that time is cyclical to cycle. And that's why it's so important. If you don't learn from your mistakes, you're bound to repeat them, right? And as a country, America hasn't learned from its mistakes. And they're breeding the same personality in these white kids that leads to supremacy. So what I'm asking you to do as a black boy, as a black young person is think further, what can that, what's up my become? What if that kid becomes a judge?  What if that kid is the school teacher for your kid? That was something my kid could become your kid's school teacher. It's deep. It's really deep.


Okay. Good morning, everyone. Welcome to a new week. Let's begin this time with a word of prayer. Maybe one of us can lead us. Abidans, would it be okay for you to lead us in prayer? Yes, Master Seor. Master, am I audible? Yes, yes, you are. Thank you. So let's pray. Our gracious Heavenly Father, we thank you for this beautiful time. We thank you for this beautiful morning, Lord Jesus. We come into your throne, Father God, and we praise you. We honor you. We lift our hands, our heart, and to give you praise and glory. This time, Father God, we submit all the students and the pastors to your mighty hand, Jesus.  We give you all the glory and honor to you, Father God. We submit this time to your mighty hand, and we ask this prayer in Jesus' mighty name. Amen. Thank you, Master. Amen. Thank you, Abidans. Alright, so this morning we come to our last section in this study. I know that we've been covering a lot of content from the beginning of this course. But we come to section 3, which is the workplace and you. So we are in chapter 18. You're tracking along on your notes. In chapter 18, we have a couple of more chapters and we should be able to complete it in another two or three more sessions. So let's get into chapter 18, career growth. Right now, professionally, we all will want to grow in life, right? Even if you look at ministry, none of us want to keep doing the same thing. Like, you know, say for example, you just joined the ministry as a small group leader or, you know, you're in a position that is just a beginner's role. Even ministry, it is very important that we desire to grow professionally, right? And of course, in the workplace, we all desire, right? Career growth is something that we all need. And so career growth is also dependent on career development, meaning our gifts, our grace, our calling, our abilities needs to also develop, right? Now, for example, if I say I want to grow in my career, but I don't do anything about it, right? And I'm just, you know, doing the normal regular things that I'm doing, then what happens is it just becomes visual thinking, meaning, okay, hey, I want to be this, but I'm not doing anything about it, right? So for example, let's look at it in a ministry way, right? So, for example, some, you know, God has called one of us to be a pastor. Right now, you're just volunteering in the sound and setup team, right? God has called you to be a pastor. And we know that one day you're going to plant a church and you're going to leave people in the ministry. Now, what must we do? We know that it's, you know, okay, monitoring an audio team, and we know that the responsibilities are higher as a pastor. So what must we do? Of course, it's, we know that we have to spend time in God's word. We have to pray, really dig into God's word because we have to prepare servants. We have to be able to minister to people. We have to begin to flow the gifts of the spirit. There's so much that we need to do. We need to study and that goes on happening. So, so the same way in career growth, whatever it is, ministry workplace, if we want to grow, we must also develop ourselves and our gifts in our abilities and in whatever resources we have. We must develop ourselves. So in this chapter, we look at insights relating to career growth and what does the Bible teach us on principles of career growth, right? So let's look at that chapter 80 in the first point. You can enjoy the rewards of your work. That's what we need Psalms 128, 1 to 4. Psalms 128 versus 1 to 4. Yes, good. Psalms 128, 1 to 4. Psalm 128 versus 1 to 4. Happy are those who obey the Lord, who live by His commandment. Your work will be provided for your needs. You will be happy and prosperous.  Your children will be like young olive trees around your table. A man who obeys the Lord will surely be blessed like this. Amen. Amen. Thank you. So the Bible teaches us that and promises us in the scriptures that whenever we work hard, whenever we put our hearts to the responsibilities of the work that God has given us, we can enjoy the fruit of the rewards of our work. Now some of us maybe just housewives at home. It's all right because when we are putting our efforts in raising up our children, we will enjoy the rewards of our work. Now in the mind of this family who come to our church, they have two young boys. They should be about 10 and 12 years old. Those two boys are so mature in Christ. They're so mature in the way they talk. They're so well mannered in the day and age that they see their children are so rough and they talk back to their parents. But these two boys are so mature in Christ. They're so well mannered. They say their thank yous, welcome. I remember whenever we preach on Sunday, they make notes. They have their own Bible. They make notes. They have their own Bible study time. So I went up to their parents and I said, how did you raise up your children? What did you do to them? They're so well mannered. They're so not for good for the Lord and such a young age. What did you do?  We would wake up in the morning. The first thing I would do is I would tell them, this is what you must do. You should sit. You should pray. And she would teach them how to pray. And then she would also play these before getting them ready to school. She would play these five minute cartoon devotionals. This was from the time they were five years old. Cartoon devotionals where they would watch it. And then the first thing that goes into their mind is the scriptures. So the whole day they'd school, they'd finish school, they'd come back. Again, the mother sits with them and asks them what are the things that happened in school? And after that, they have a small Bible study time. They spend time in singing songs. And she's just a housewife. That's her life. That's what she's going to do. But one of the things that I realized is, she is enjoying the fruit of her hard work. And her children are so wonderful. I keep telling them, what you have done from the time you were six years old, from the child who was six years old to now, we can see it in their life. And so Bible promises us, the scriptures promise us that when we work hard, when we give food, and we work on an honorable way, we can enjoy the fruit, the rewards of our work. Especially when it comes to the workplace, professionally it means developing our skills, developing our knowledge, our expertise. And that's how we can have career growth in our life. And when we do grow in our careers, God expects us to enjoy the rewards of our work. So we could even be parents who are looking after children. The more effort we put on our children, the more we will see they are working, walking in the ways of the Lord. Second point, promotion comes from the Lord. We didn't touch upon this topic, but let's read Psalms 75, 6 to 7. Psalms 75, 6 to 7. I just read that. For exaltation comes neither from the east, nor from the west, nor from the south. But God is the judge. He puts down one and exalts another. Again, first Peter chapter 5 verse 6. Humble yourselves then under God's mighty hand so that he will lift you up in his good time. Now, this is very important to understand that promotion comes from the Lord. It is the Lord who will open the right doors. It is the Lord who will recognize our hard work and our faithfulness both in the workplace and ministry. It is the Lord who opens up the doors for us. Now, what we must do? We must be yielded to what God is doing in our lives. Now, just because we say, the wrong thing to do is to say, God is the one who brings promotion to my life. Promotion comes from the Lord. So I will sit and I will pray and worship God and go through this fasting prayer and everything and wait on the Lord for a promotion. Now, that's not how it works. We know that faith and works go together. You have faith that, God is going to give me the promotion but I also need to work hard for it. But now the wrong understanding will be and I've given you plenty of examples as well where we can say, God is going to give me promotion but then we don't work hard for it. And we just sit and wait. So waiting time is not idle time. It's preparing. And we'll see that later on as well. So let me be assured of this. Maybe people in your office or people in the ministry have not recognized your hard work or if you've worked really hard on a certain project or even in ministry work really hard and you believe that you're going to get a promotion but for some reason it does not come your way. You do not lose hope. You don't lose faith in God. Continue to trust God. It's very hard but we do understand but when you continue to trust God and say, God, I know the promotion comes from and you will open the right door. And as His children we can always trust Him. I'm sure we've heard of this. Many of them have said this to me. Thank God Pastor, I didn't take this project because I was really waiting for this but I didn't take this project because I got something better few months later or a year later. I got something much better than this. And so remember that when promotion comes it comes from the Lord and He knows how to give it, when to give it and through what opportunity to give it. So we continue to trust God. The next point is excellence will be rewarded. Now the Bible teaches a lot about excellence. Daniel had the spirit of excellence and everything that Daniel did was excellent. Remember that verse, the king's helpers they were looking for a way to find some fault in Daniel but they could not find a fault because he had an excellent spirit. Everything that Daniel did he did with excellence. There was no holes in any work that he had done. So but they only knew that they will get this van Daniel out of this position or in a way to condemn him is only through his God. There's no other way because in his work he's perfect. Everything he's done well. Now picture this. They haven't done the wrong. They haven't captivated him but God used Daniel in such a way that he saw about three kings. Three kings. And the first king what Daniel we know that Daniel 1 and 2 he interprets the prince and the second king comes he interprets the writing on the wall and then the third king the rise the Persian king comes and he says I want Daniel to continue to do the administration at Babylon. So we see that Daniel was a man of excellence. Let's see what Proverbs chapter 23 and was sorry Proverbs 22 and 29 says. Yes, could one of us please read this Proverbs 22 and verse 29. All right. Yes. Do you see a man who exerted his work he will stand before kings he will not stand before a normal man. Thank you. Thank you. Excellence is doing an exceptional job in everything that is going to sign to you. Now as believers you and I must always try for excellence. We must never come to a place of saying of average work. Right. It should never be like okay I'm happy that I that this is okay. This is an average is all right. No. We must strive for excellence because God has put in us the spirit of excellence. We must strive for it. We must say God help me to be the best in what I'm doing. Even in ministry if we are studying preaching there handling a church strive for excellence. We may be just 20, 30 people in the church strive for excellence. Even though we are just 20, 30 people we want to strive for excellence. You know the way we lead our people we do worship team we may not have very good musicians but we strive to get better as a worship team. We strive to get better as a preacher as a pastor. We continue to develop your skills. Right. Now one of the things that as pastors we forget is we focus on the world which is number one priority and we also forget that we must also learn like for example if it's English you have to develop your English vocabulary you know the sentence construction your words we teach the way we minister to people there are so many things that we can learn. Right. So as pastors it doesn't come to an end or ministry leaders you may be leading a small group in a house say okay this is what God is calling for us but strive for excellence in a way that you say okay I want to develop myself in such a way that whoever comes here with whatever problem they have they're all giving a wisdom to handle those situations handle these people what will happen? What will people come up to you and say I want to divorce what are you going to say? How what scriptures are going to use? How are you going to minister to them or what if a family comes and says my son who is 17 years old wants to commit suicide how do I minister to them? You know these are all things that we must learn and we can develop ourselves it's not only you know it's not only about preaching on Sundays or preaching on Bible studies it's still out of excellence that we can have we can develop and grow ourselves right there's also this you know many many times people who lost their loved ones they're going through bereavement and especially at times when it is a Christian family we had a family here in bank law who are believers wonderful believers right they've been serving in the church continually but all of a sudden this elderly couple they had two sons and the younger son who was about maybe 15 years old all of a sudden committed suicide and they had so many questions in their mind why did this happen? why did he take such a drastic step? why didn't we go wrong? and they will come up to us and ask us what did we do? why did we go wrong? why did the Lord allow this to happen? you know the spirit of excellence is being able to also we have the spirit of wisdom also to give the right answers to you to know how to minister to these people the spirit of excellence also is something that we must have and we say God we thank you for all that you've done and I know that you're going to you know bless the ministry sometimes you know when the church is small or the ministry is small it's all like let it happen let's see when it grows big we can do this and I myself have sometimes felt that way but I can't go on not to my attention even though we're small we need to be good in what we do we need to be excellent in what we do so as believers strive for excellence in your studies in your workplace in worship strive for excellence if you're you know housewife strive for excellence in raising up your children each one of us can strive for that let's go to the next point wisdom opens doors and I love this word wisdom is something we can have a lot of knowledge about many things that are happening around us but wisdom is the right use of knowledge applying the knowledge in the right way let's read Proverbs chapter 12 and verse 8 Proverbs chapter 12 verse 8 yes any one of us can read that Proverbs 12 and verse 8 amen we'll be commented according to this wisdom but people above us have to read this mic yes thank you Henry so we all know what wisdom is wisdom is the ability not only about gaining knowledge it's not only about understanding but putting that skill into use where we solve problems we create opportunities we envision, we innovate we come up with ideas and that is what wisdom is when you look at so many of them we studied about Nehemiah God gave him the vision and then he was able to use the wisdom that God gave him to come up with strategies to fulfill the purpose that he had in his life in Daniel you can look at David you can look at Joseph all of these men walk in such wonderful wisdom right and wisdom is not just gaining knowledge it's the ability to make the right decisions to solve problems in the right way to envision things in the future now another important aspect of the wisdom is the point of looking after children we need wisdom to come to a time when children ask us such wonderful questions and nobody don't know what to say times I have a 6 year old boy and he was asking me why is there the father, son and the holy spirit why can't they just be one Trinity the father loves this son and he said but how did the son and the father be together and then how did they come into this world so they have some deep questions and you and I need the wisdom of God not only in the workplace but even at home I love what in the book of Proverbs it says wisdom is like pearls around your neck a lot of tyrants leaders they have wonderful great knowledge great understanding they were so learned but they fall because they didn't walk into wisdom right even in ministry when you look at people they may have gone up the ladder become very famous in the industry many people calling them doing very well but they have fallen in small things why because they didn't act in wisdom so we must remember that in our gifts and talents all that is good but when we use it the right way wisdom will open the mind to us God's people will recognize wisdom always remember this gifts and callings are very easily easily recognized you are a worship leader they will know he is gifted as a worship leader or he is gifted as a preacher or he is gifted as a teacher so you can recognize it but wisdom is something that is it is God who will open the right doors at the right time in the right way God will open those now the mistake we do is sometimes we are going to pray for something and then if somebody else gets an opportunity and you believe that that's your opportunity we get angry that is mine I should have got that how can he get it how can she get this and we react in a negative way wisdom God is in control of everything and understanding that this is not how I must react I need to know how to walk I need to know that I am God's child I should walk honourable and integral and God will open the right doors will open the right doors this one reminding of this there is this young boy from church right and he always keeps serving in the church very faithful in church right but he hardly speaks even to me he hardly speaks he is very soft he doesn't talk much hardly speaks and that's his nature right but he is there for anything in the church to serve he is there he doesn't really talk much and a couple of meetings the first few times I met him immediately I knew that this boy is a boy probably about 21-22 years old but I realised that this boy at such a young age has so much of wisdom I just knew it and I told him that God has given me this wonderful wisdom use it to grow up in your world he is studying as an aeronautical engineer and he just graduated right now he is in Dubai and he got a good job in Dubai and good airline aeronautical engineering and he just messaged me and he said I got a job and my children are 7-8 years experience only they would get but I got that job the responsibilities are high now he was so glad I told him this is because the wisdom of God was upon me and God has opened that door to me we know that aeronautical engineering is a niche market it's not many openings it's not very easy to get it remember the wisdom of God will open many doors sometimes our foolishness can close those doors so we must work with wisdom let's go to the next point a sincere heart and gracious lips will get you noticed Proverbs chapter 22 and verse 11 let's read that Proverbs 22 and 11 Proverbs 22 verse 11 he who loves purity of heart and has grace on his lips the king will be his friend Amen he who loves purity of heart a sincere heart will have and has grace on his lips the king will be his friend a sincere heart and gracious lips will get you noticed we may have a lot of you know professionally we may have a lot of knowledge but what if we are a lot of people who are professionally very knowledgeable but when they speak they are so rude and arrogant they act like they know everything and they demean and put down other people do you think you want to work with a boss like that or suppose always rude and shouting and etiquette oh you will want to you will be trending to go to office but the bible says that a sincere heart and gracious lips will not go unnoticed God will make sure that those of us who work with a sincere heart God will notice he will put it into people's heart people will notice and see that hey this man this person will do a good job in this position right he is a sincere worker one thing we know that whatever he does he works sincerely now false allegations may be put upon us but when we are people who with sincere heart and gracious lips the law will stand for us remember that the enemy may bring accusations against us but when we walk in these two attributes these are godly attributes sincere heart being true to God being true to the people that you work and gracious lips knowing what to speak how to speak in love and kindness and humility with integrity all of these things will not go unnoticed people will watch it is better to have sincere heart and gracious lips than to have a law of knowledge and understanding and be a good person next point the more you are given the more you have to deliver let us read Luke chapter 12 verse 48 Luke 12 and verse 48 let us read any one of us Luke chapter 12 Luke 12 was at age 48 but the servant he does not know what is an act of knowledge yet that is something which he deserves a whipping will be punished with a light whipping much is required for the person to whom much is given much more is required for the person to whom much more is given thank you now we know this the more you are given the more we have to deliver now as we go up the ladder the more responsibilities the more we have to deliver now if we want to grow in our work or in our ministry and if we are not doing we look at it at the first point if we are not doing anything about it then it is just wishful thinking we are just thinking I wish I could be a pastor I wish I could be a preacher I wish I could be a worship leader and if we are not doing anything about it then it is just wishful thinking right so the same way the more that is given to you the more opportunities that come your way the more you have to deliver right now for example you may be a small group leader so you know okay there are 10 people in your small group you need to nurture them empower them be there for them counsel them you are like a pastor to them those 10 people now all of a sudden there is an opportunity and they say you are a small group leader you have been here for 5 years now there is a church you are like a pastor to the church you know okay the position is a little bit higher we have to deliver the more that is given we have to deliver we know okay I cannot do the same things what I was doing I am a small group leader I need to spend more time reading the word I need to spend more time praying I need to spend more time understanding the scriptures asking God for revelations I need to be able to minister to the right people how to go about outreaches and talk about so many things that work in the church how do I evangelize what are the sectors different places that I can evangelize the youth the college students the families there are so many things now I cannot say I am used to only these 10 people for 5 years I lead a small group so I am more comfortable with that now and more is given to you we have to deliver we have to see that God you are giving me more how much more I should deliver it is not only about wanting it bigger positions higher roles but also being able to learn to prepare develop skills abilities I remember this in 2012 I auditioned for the worship team in church and so I used to go to the locations which are smaller churches we have different locations so I prepare myself and I go and all of a sudden an opportunity started coming to lead the worship at the main church this is the main church the big big church they have got the recording happening the live streams to all across the world so I knew that I need to develop myself it is no more leading in front of 20, 20 people but a lot of people now it is not like I am not giving my best for the 20, 30 people but I realised that when bigger opportunities come away the more we must be prepared the more we must develop and we must be able to deliver more than what we expected of us and the same thing goes with the workplace and the ministry whatever it is we have to when more is given to us we need to deliver it on time, deliver in the right way right now just because it is ministry one of the things that is what we see around us we take it from granted ministry knows grace and favour and God's blessing is that we must not think of it that way actually it should be the other way around when we have a volunteer meetings I keep telling our volunteers but we keep retraining us even though we are at a church you know the more we give we give in the sense the more we volunteer the more responsibilities that come we must deliver in excellence more than what we do in our regular workplace because you are doing it for God it should be much more and so it is very important to teach our children teach our people our church our team members the workplace teach them the responsibilities are higher the stakes get higher sometimes we go higher the decisions that we make can impact many people the decisions we make the stakes get higher and we go up higher more is expected of you sometimes we look at a position and we say wow I wish I can get this position I wish I could be an assistant manager I wish I could be a CEO it is wonderful but the CEO will have sleepless nights many times because the stakes are so high any decision he makes he will need to think 10 times should I make this or no should I do this or no because it is going to affect the entire company but the same way in ministry as a leader maybe if you are in a post order role any decision you make you will need to remember that it is going to affect the entire church and secondly also our lifestyle the way we live is not to affect the entire church remember this reading we produce our own kinds as a leader if we are leaders who are gossiping always murmuring always saying what will happen the people in that church will have the same kind of attitude suddenly you will see a lot of gossip and anger we could fight amongst each other division, hatred all that will be there because we produce our own kind what are the people who are loving we know how to care for people we are teachable we recognize our mistakes and we open to connection we will see a church that way and so remember mistakes get higher the higher up you go be patient as you transition through employment now we will not read that verse but what I want to say is at season sometimes people may lose their jobs or sometimes people may quit because they just want to take a break for some time so that is all right but for people who have lost their jobs and looking out for a new job and this whole transition period can be very stressful or it could be very eager to know what is happening sometimes we may not get an answer God we don't speak directly to us but remember one thing be patient and trust in the Lord because the Lord is the one who opens the doors the Lord is the one who will break the right door in place now the mistake we make is during these times of unemployment and waiting it does not mean we just sit around and do nothing we can always develop our skills we can always develop in the talents and gifts that God has given us and we wait around and we wait in expectancy knowing that God at the right time you will open the right door so waiting is not an idle time always remember sometimes they say right now Paul waited for 17 years David waited for 17 years but he was not idle they were not sitting and doing nothing preparing themselves Joseph he was preparing himself David was preparing himself even though he was running away from Saul but he was preparing himself God was preparing him so the waiting time or the transition time could be a time of difficulty or you may say God help me through the season but trust in the Lord know that God is working on your behalf and during that waiting time just continue to develop yourself continue to know and whatever God has called you for look ahead as you step into a new job so if there are new opportunities that come your way look ahead with expectancy be joyful I remember I was in Bangor this opportunity came and I was so excited thank you for the opportunity I really want to do well I want to build a strong church here in Bangor give me strategies give me plans for any ideas give me wisdom to handle this I have never been in a past already home I need your wisdom now all of a sudden I remember we came to the church with no past experience of course I was a member here so the work times we were helping and mentoring people teaching them as well but I don't know all of a sudden we had these elderly couples who are well advanced in their age they would come and pour out their hearts to us to see the problems they are going through the challenges we went through we would sit and listen to them think oh God give me the wisdom what do I say to them how do I encourage them when you have a youth who come up with all kinds of things one youth came up to me and said pastor I remember speaking to this youth and I said I will see you next Sunday he said no past I doubt you will see he said what happened he said I think this week I am going to come directly open he just told me that two weeks in the past I don't know I said to myself oh God help me what do I say to this boy I mean he looked serious about it he was there with no smile on his face and he looked serious how do I deal with this problem so you know even through all of that when we look at new opportunities we can always look with expectancy future be teachable but be excited about what God is giving you God is giving you in the workplace God is giving you a promotion don't say oh God promotion now the work is going to be more the money is good but the work I have to work double the hours I have to stay back now we wanted the promotion after getting the promotion that's not right same thing in ministry if you say God one day I want to be a pastor one day I want to travel in the world preach in the gospel God gives us the opportunity we say oh traveling in our flight 20 hours in the train is it okay I can just do the ministry here oh master in care so many people have to sit everyone's troubles and challenges and then I get stressed or there's no blessings and look ahead what God has to do with expectancy joy even though it may be a huge task ahead of you like what Joshua said I'm going to go and take my mountain doctor Caleb were very keen they were old well and advanced in their years now doctor and Caleb didn't say oh how are we going to go just please how are we going to defeat them I wish thought can send us angels and doing Caleb said I feel like I am as young as when I was 40 years old so I am ready to go he was so expected Joshua and Caleb said let's go that is our land that is what God has promised I am ready I may be 18 but I am not old I feel young God has given me the strength and you see that expectancy it is so beautiful to read that passage and they went in and occupied the territory right and so look ahead for the new task God has put ahead this is the last point even as we courageous as we move from employment to entrepreneur there will be times when you've been working with the company and you've been working for probably 10-12 years then all of a sudden you feel led in your heart to start your own business or to start your own company be encouraged tell me stay strong during the time yes we need to plan we need to prepare I need to say okay I need to see financially am I able to start off the business am I able to look up to my family am I saved enough for education for children's education so you look at all those practical aspects but even as we transition be ready to take it out be ready to trust in the Lord sometimes it's not easy when you think of it you say okay but now I may not get my monthly income so how am I going to deal with this be courageous at those times say God I know that if you have called me you will make a way for me so from employment to entrepreneurship if you look at it you know ministry related way the people who have been serving in the ministry for many years and suddenly God tells you go and start this church go and start your own ministry so prepare and be courageous and trust God to go and start he will make ways he will provide and remember that in career growth ministry growth both of it both of them trust and grow and it's wonderful God wants us to grow never be satisfied in the place that we are in develop ourselves and this is close in prayer one of us please close in prayer maybe say any one of us please close in prayer no spray our Father in heaven we bless you we glorify you we thank you Lord for your son who you have used to instruct us in your word in building capacity Lord in being the best that God has called us to be Lord in leaving out excellence in all that we do we pray oh Lord that this words that we've heard oh Lord this words that we mean church we pray that Lord you will give us the grace Lord to become them and to do them all to your glory Lord we call you the rest of the classes we'll be having we pray for wisdom we pray for understanding for all that will be taught thanks be to your holy name Lord I pray Lord that your son Lord who you've used to order us strengthen him and continue to use him for great great great works ahead thank you everlasting Father for in Jesus name we have prayed amen amen thank you so much sorry we don't have time for questions maybe we can look at it tomorrow have a great day ahead we catch it tomorrow God bless thank you pastor


Good afternoon.  Today is February 12th, and it is the 707th day officially of the pandemic. And today is also gonna be a full moon, a nice day or rather a nice night for walking on the beach, which I would certainly recommend. I'm Ken Burtness in Haliva on the North Shore. Hi, and I'm Deanna Honaker, I'm an IAEA, and today we're gonna talk about our trail of anger and guilt potentially resulting from. Our numbers are going down, we're doing better, yet we're still in the middle of our overwhelm and our very intense feelings about living in a pandemic. Ken, I think you have the numbers. Yeah, New York Times reporting on Hawaii and shows us our total cases coming in are down 68%. Now that's comparing today's, not today's, but yesterday's February 15th, cases with our two week average, so down 68%. Now our hospitalizations are down 44%, and our deaths are up 18%. Now, all these statistics need to be taken with a grain of salt. For instance, being up 15%, excuse me, 18% on the deaths, that includes five deaths that we saw yesterday in February 15th. But if you look at since the pandemic began, we've lost 1,259 people from Hawaii in a small state like ours that is not insignificant. So yes, the numbers are going down, deaths are going up, but the deaths are going up little by little because of our population. But the other ones, these statistics are not hard and fast for a number of reasons that I mentioned last week. And one of the things you have to realize about the hospital admissions and most of the experts today say that that's more important than the total case numbers. Because of the Omicron variant being less nasty to us than the other variants like Delta. But what you have to take into consideration is those 707 days, and the days before then, before it was officially declared, the number of people in the hospitals working and being overloaded and overstressed by the pandemic and the number of people coming in the hospitals has taken its toll. So while we're doing better than most states, as far as our hospitalizations and our hospitals being able to continue to handle them, we're paying the price.  So all of these things have to be taken into consideration plus the fact, like Diana says, that we've been up and down this coronavirus mountain a number of times and who knows when we're gonna start climbing that mountain again. So all those need to be taken into consideration. So Diana, I know you've been facing all this up and down thing in your dealing with your patients and your clients. Can you tell us a little bit more about that? Sure. I think the word that comes to me the most when I think of my patients or my clients as a group is just the feeling of overwhelm. This is exhausting. This has turned into a marathon. We were hoping it was gonna be a sprint. And I know Ken, you and I have talked about recently, like pretty soon we're gonna be saying, and this is year three of the coronavirus pandemic. It's long. And this kind of leads to what we wanted to discuss today about the subject of anger and how we get there and noticing that, yeah, it does stem from overwhelm. It does stem from inconvenience and stress over a long, long period of time and it has a cumulatory effect on us. And that maybe we're turning into people that we don't even recognize or our families don't recognize because the intensity of it. So one of the places that I wanted to start was just the awareness of our anger. That's our first step into taking care of ourselves and taking care of people around us. How do we get to that place of awareness? We don't want it to be, when our child looks frightened at us or people are like, hey, what's going on? Like we've passed that point of we're into our anger. Our anger has consumed us. So I know one of the first places that I'd like to start with my clients when we talk about anger, as far as awareness is where do you start feeling it in your body? Yes, we're gonna get angry and we're gonna go, oh my goodness, I did it again, but that's the beginning, right? Okay, I need to start paying attention. And I'm a big fan of preventative measures and it's the first thing that we notice in ourselves, what are your physical symptoms of, oh, I'm getting stressed to the point of potentially becoming angry, rapid heart rate, breathing, am I shutting down? I have a client whose palms of his hand get tingly, right? Like he's starting to let him know that, I'm starting to feel it. And so yeah, awareness is a really huge part of preventing our anger. So Ken, I know we were gonna talk about our maladaptive responses.  Yeah, the trouble with maladaptive responses like anger is that we can tell our clients, we can give them some ideas of what to do to how to deal with that, but that's so easy to say and so hard to deal with. One of the things with anger that I always told the people who came to me and also my students who I teach is that when anger hits, when we start being aware of it, like Deanna says, we need to go into something like, for instance, a relaxation mode. We start to slow our breathing down, we start to untense our muscles, we start to relax and slowly but surely the anger fades away at this beneficent feeling and good feeling and oh yeah. And that works, it works well, but it is very hard not only to do the first time, but to continue. I call it Murphy's law. And Murphy's law, you start off and everything goes wrong. Well, there's an inverse relationship between anger and the ability to relax. So you're teaching your clients or our people how to relax and they say, oh yeah, I feel good. The easiest time to do that is when you're already relaxed. So I'm feeling pretty relaxed now and it's easy for me to go into it.  And I wouldn't even think about it and I'd maintain that anger. So the angrier you get, the harder it is to relax. And that's one of the things that is very, very difficult for the clients and for the therapist. Drives both of us crazy. So Ken, I'm gonna jump in here because some of the things that I use with my clients, planning and practice. Yeah, absolutely. Those two things, exactly like you said, we need to talk about anger in the future or potential anger before it's happened. So if anybody, I'm a big yoga fan, if anybody practices yoga, we call it a practice. We don't get to a finish line. We're just constantly starting over again. So I do practice with my clients. We practice breathing. How does that feel, right? Because I can't just say, yeah, leave my office and then go practice your breathing. No, let's do it together. Let's see how that feels together. Do we feel better? Really monitor ourselves, have a practice.  Before I start my engine in my car, I'm gonna do three deep breaths, right? So that it becomes part of their lives and that tool is active so that when they do need it, it's right there, like, oh yeah, I know how to do this. I just did this two hours ago. I can take that deep breath. And that was kind of a way of also saying the planning. We have to think about it. What are the things that we know have high potential for helping us get to anger, right? Like are there preventative measures? I know people that they go to work super, super early because they just don't wanna deal with traffic. And that's okay, that plan works and they have their phone with them and they catch up on the news and the work parking lot and they don't have that feeling. So that part of that planning, not letting anger, take us over. And we know where the danger spots are. Like you're saying traffic.  So we have to make, we have to do something about that, like going into work early, like you're saying. The interesting thing is talking about preparing for those stressful spots. One of the things I do before I go on air here with ThinkDecAway is I take three or four deep breaths before Max or Eric says, okay, you're on. And I go, yeah, okay, I'm ready. And I have clients that give me that feedback. I had to go talk to my boss but I did it before I went into that meeting. There was something uncomfortable. I took my three deep breaths and it really worked. So, again, a lot of times where you have to experiment with ourselves and find out like, this is helpful to me.  That's another I will share with you as well. I see parents and they have children that are nervous or stressed out as well. And breathing can be a family practice. It can be anytime we sit down together or it's time to do our breathing. There was a viral TikTok video not too long ago of a five-year-old brother telling his little three-year-old brother to breathe, breathe, you're gonna be okay, breathe like we breathe. So, obviously a family that's using these tools and they're certainly more effective when mom and dad are doing it too. So, why not breathe as a family? Absolutely, and the thing about practice is you need to keep doing it like you're saying because only by keeping doing it does it become a habit. And when it becomes a habit, it starts becoming automatic and we anticipate, we can anticipate a lot of our stressful moments. And if we're in the habit of checking that stressful moment before it gets big and dealing with it at the very beginning and having the habit of doing that as a response, then we're in business. But that takes a lot of practice before something becomes habit. And it's great that we do it together. I mean, both therapists and client and family members, that's a terrific way to practice and make it become a habit, make it become something that you can call on because it's so easy to forget when you get angry. Yeah, and I think it's even about when I'm with friends or just me even hearing people that I don't even, I don't know who they are, but I'm certainly listening and I hear people say, we'll just take a deep breath, you'll be all right. So, it is entering our awareness that this is a really easy tool to have access to. Some people get a little resentful of it, but that's because they haven't been practicing. Yeah, absolutely. Now, when things get away from us, when the relaxation doesn't work are the other techniques that we have, then we're liable to do something that, maladaptive behaviors that you're talking about. And maladaptive behaviors, they ruin things for us in life. And that's when it becomes very, very key. If these maladaptive behaviors, if this anger, for instance, is affecting your work, if it's affecting your relationship with your family, if it's affecting your relationships with your friends, these are things that can be devastating. And it's been so easy to fall into this trap during the coronavirus.  And when you do that, you're liable to say or do something that is not you, like you were saying, Deanna, and it affects your self-confidence, it affects your self-image, and you keep saying to yourself afterwards, when it's a little too late, this is not me. This is not who I am. And what have I done? And the people who are most likely to do it, like we talked about last week, are the people we're closest to, they're the easiest targets, and the people who are there for us, and we're making it very difficult for them. And I know that's been the case in a lot of your family therapy cases, Deanna. Yeah, and just a little bit more maladaptive behaviors, just to be more, you know, put a finer point on it. You know, it can be anything from yelling, when we didn't mean to yell at someone that we care about, to those larger maladaptive behaviors of checking out with alcohol, or some other type of mind-bending substance, that yeah, a lot of people have adopted some behaviors that again, like you said, they don't recognize themselves. And what we go into quite quickly is we see ourselves having these behaviors and we feel guilty and we feel shameful about them. So what do we do with that? That's the next piece, right?  But how do we move through that?  That's always a good place to start. You know, if we hurt someone's feelings, you know, how do we make it right? How do we acknowledge that, you know, that was my bad? You know, I own that. But then internally, you know, how do we handle that guilt and that shame? And Ken, what were you gonna say? No, I was just gonna say that that's, again, the hard part of it.  I wouldn't say that out loud to people that we've screwed up. We don't like to say that. We like to blame other people.  But it's very hard for us to accept that responsibility. But one of the things that helps us is that if we do that, that cues the other person or the other people who were saying that to, to also deal with their regrettable behavior and in turn come back to us and say, sure, and I'm sorry about this, you know, and that's a way of coming together. It's that's a rapprochement, you know, if that's so, so very critical. The other thing that I would add to your, you know, the maladaptive behavior, we think of maladaptive behavior is one, this, two, this, three, this. No behavior is also very maladaptive. I have a number of people who are paralyzed, not doing anything because everything seems, all the options seem closed. There doesn't seem to be any choices for them. And that's one of the important things, I think, to communicate to people and to yourself, I still have choices. We may be living in a coronavirus pandemic, but I still have choices of what I can do within that situation and I can do this and exploring what you can do and exploring what all of us can do with our friends and our family and our workplace to make things better. I think it's a big part of dealing with all this maladaptive behavior. I agree. And I think we talked in our first show about being creative. And yeah, if you're really suffering from depression, that it gets really hard to be creative if you're depressed, which makes it even more important for you to reach out and to connect with others because maybe you don't have the energy or just the space to be creative and problem solve, but people that care about you do and that you can work together. And, you know, maybe there's this thing that I really miss doing and somebody else is doing in a different way. I have a group that we usually do artwork together and now we do it in our homes, but we work together, you know, some of the ladies are quite elderly and there's no way that we could be together to do this artwork, but everyone sets aside some time. We spend that time together. Is it our preferred way of doing it? No, but for now it's okay. And that's what you're talking about, Ken. You like talking about we have choices. We can choose not to do any artwork at all or we can be okay with the way we're gonna do it right now for now. Yeah, for now. Yeah, and like you say, I think the key is to be creative about it. I'm in a number of family and relative and friend Zoom groups. And as we get used to it, we discover new ways to relate to each other. New ways to communicate, new ways to show each other, whether it's through art or music or, you know, and those are wonderful ways to do it.  And again, that's hard to do, but if we encourage each other, I think that that's really the key there. I really like that we're talking about doing things together because I think some, I've been on those very uncomfortable family calls where we get all the cousins and the aunts and uncles together. And there's 10 people up on our Zoom call and no one knows what to say. And everything's already on social media, Facebook. We know what's happening, but there's, you know, games that we can play. Some companies have come up with some really fun interactive games that you can play on your TV and your computer at the same time. You know, like I mentioned, doing artwork together. I have a grand niece that I read her stories because she lives in Maryland and I live in Hawaii. And there's not a whole lot to talk to, to a two year old about, but I can read a story to her. So yeah, having an activity has certainly broadened my connections with people, not just the, okay, we're all on the screen. We're all looking at each other. What are we gonna say? What are we gonna do next? Yeah, and I'm in a cousin Zoom group and it's been terrific. I can't even say how great I feel about this because these were cousins that have spread all over. I have a cousin in Alaska. I've got a cousin in Brooklyn. I've got lots of cousins in between. And we were separated early on. Our parents, you know, my parents went West. Other parents went East. Other parents went to, you know, in other places. And so for the last 30 or 40 years, my cousins have been holiday card friends. You know, I'd contact them once a year on holidays, sending a Christmas card, a holiday card to them and sort of sharing that one time. And all of a sudden, everybody's down with coronavirus and we're Zooming. And we've been Zooming now for over a year and a half in this Zooming with people that I don't only hadn't had contact with for a long time, I really didn't know. And what we've done, and the wonderful thing about it is we've shared memories. It's not only in certain things that you can do like games and art, but you can fill in. I mean, there were so many things that I look back upon and so many things I missed. I missed being with certain people. I missed doing certain things. And now I have a chance to share with people that I care about and they're filling in all these things that I missed or that I didn't have a chance to do. And it is just, I come out of those Zooms and I'm high. You know, it's a wonderful high memories. And, you know, you have a lot of them, but other people can fill in and make them so much richer and you can understand them so much better. It's just great. I appreciate that, you know, some of the, we have to be delicate about the subject, but you know, some of the positives that have come out of the coronavirus that, you know, that you can look back and say, you know, if the pandemic hadn't hit, I'd still be just getting that once a year Christmas card and it has added something to your life. Absolutely. And, you know, sit in a moment of gratitude for that. You know, not moving too quickly into the, but oh, here's all the bad things that have happened. It's okay to sit in a moment of gratitude and thankfulness that some good things have happened. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, it gives us a chance to do some good things. I know we're, I see the five minute thing. So we're coming toward the end, but I just wanted to get this in. One of the things that I really encourage people to do is the coronavirus has made us very narcissistic, very self-focused. We've got so many problems that we're dealing with. It becomes me, me, me. And I try to get them to reach out to other people and help other people. Because if you help other people, you feel so much better about yourself. And most of us are not feeling the best about ourselves because we're not able to do the things we're good at or we're used to doing. And reaching out to another person to help another person increases our self-confidence, our self-image. And we just feel good about it. And feeling good is so, so important during this time of the pandemic and the coronavirus. And I'm sure you've run into that too with your clients, Diana. Yeah, absolutely. And I think, you know, what you're saying there is about connection. And we know that human beings are made to be connected and that why not connect over a positive, right? That's in a negative. We can connect through our anger. We can connect through our frustration, but why not choose something positive? And again, you know, by filling our lives with these happy moments, we're less likely to be on that path of irritation or, you know, borderlining on becoming overwhelmed if we've got these good moments that we're either looking forward to or can carry with us for sure. Yeah. You know, we haven't had much of a chance to move from anger into guilt and shame, which oftentimes follow anger. We've spoken a little bit about it today, but we'll cover this more thoroughly in our next session, which by the way will be in two weeks on the 2nd of March. It'll be the same time, same day and everything. And Diana and I will be back and we'll get into that because that is so difficult. That, you know, how we deal with that. And, you know, we're talking a little bit about the beginnings of that, which is reaching out, making new things happen and helping other people. But we'll get more into that in detail on March 2nd. Yeah. And I know we have an email address that we can put up here on the screen that if anybody has any questions or wants us to address anything in particular, I don't see it right. There it is. Yeah. Please feel free to write to us and we'd be very happy to, you know, address any subject or, you know, aspect of the program. Yeah. And it really helps us out a lot because we want to make this program not just a lecture program, but a program that stays up with what's happening. That's why we're tracking this very closely in the changes in the coronavirus. But it also gives us a chance to reach out to you and find out what your questions are. Too many times experts think they know what everybody is thinking.  Well, we don't have the answers. You have the questions and we'll find some answers for you. Some ideas, some suggestions that may be helpful. So you would be, like we've talked about before helping each other, you would be helping us by giving us some questions. There you go. We look forward to that. All right. Thank you everyone and much Aloha. Yes. And thanks to the Think Tech staff, to Max and Eric and that and Jay and everybody. And thank you for coming in and listening and we'll look forward to seeing you in two weeks. Aloha. Aloha.


All right, is fruit okay on keto? This is a tough one for people. People are like, it's all natural, it's organic, it's this, it's that. The reality is, is a lot of fruit has a lot of sugar in it and it's affecting you to get into ketosis, especially fat loss is your goal. I do have some rules. If you're already leaned out, if you're leaning out well and you're transforming well, there is some fruits that you can have in moderation. Some berries, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, blueberries, because they don't have as much carbs and sugars in them. But be careful of fruit. It's really, really, really tricky because people will have this perception that it's good for them and it may be in some sorts, but from a ketogenic perspective, it maximized fat loss, fruit can really mess people up. So I would tell you this, if you're really active and you're really lean, you can get away with a little bit more, but if you're not, I would lean towards the less side of it and if you're gonna add any kind of fruits in, berries are where you start.