Good morning, radiant church. Good to see you this morning. Would you stand with us as we enter into worship? Father, here we are, your people. We come to worship, to praise your name. We say we love you in this place. On the sanctuary, we're worshiping Jesus' affection almost in like walking up the altar and just laying it at the feet of Jesus at the altar. And so we're just gonna sing this simple chorus one more time, but I want us to imagine in your mind's eye just putting your affection into this basket, putting your heart, your emotions, your dreams, your hopes, your plans, your future, putting it in this and offering it afresh to the Lord. And maybe you've given the Lord something before and let's give it to Him again. Let's give Him even the things that we are and our weakness, where we've fallen short this week. Offer that to the Lord as well. Can we just sing this together in church? Let's just even hold out your hands like you're giving the Lord a gift. Here's the time. Let's just lift up our hands all over the room and let's worship Him. Jesus, you're so worthy at this very moment. Around the throne of God, there is a worship service that is taking place that started even before the creation of the world. Revelation chapter four gives us this picture of the saints and the angels and the elders and the four living creatures that are beholding the one who is on the throne saying glory, honor, dominion, and might, and majesty belongs to him. And you know, it's one thing to know that that's taking place, that the Lord is being worshiped in another time in another place in another dimension. But when we worship as the saints of God, when we worship here right now, even though we can't see it, our worship is actually ascending into that very throne room. And it's mixing with the chorus of the saints who've gone on before us with the uncountable angels and with the living creatures. And Jesus is very aware of our worship this morning. It's one thing for us to say, yeah, I'm singing about God, but no, at this very moment, you can't see Him, but it's as if right now we have joined the chorus of worship that has gone on for ages. All over this room, let's just lift up our hands. And maybe that's brand new for you. And you say, I don't really, what does that mean? Well, lifting up our hands is a physical expression of us setting our hearts and our affections and our worship on the one who is on the throne. It's a universal expression of worship. And Lord Jesus today, we declare that you alone are worthy.  You still bear the marks in your hands for the price of our redemption. And we are grateful for the blood of Jesus that has made a new and a living way for us to come boldly before the throne of grace. And we come today seated in heavenly places in Christ Jesus. We are those who were far away from God, but we've been brought near. We were slaves, but now we're sons. We were lost, but now we were found. We were dead, but now we are alive. And it's all because of you. Worthy are you, Lamb of God, to receive glory and honor and dominion and majesty and glory. Worthy are you. Holy, powerful are you, Jesus. And we pray right now, Lord, that you would receive all the glory and the honor. All the glory and the honor. Come on with your own words right now. Tell Him, worthy are you, Jesus. I worship you, Jesus. Come on, you tell Him, Jesus. Worthy, worthy, worthy is the Lamb. Worthy, worthy is the Lamb. And Lord, now we come before you in this moment. And we add our prayers and our worship to the bowls of heaven as intercessors. In church, I want you to join with me right now as we pray over the nations of the earth. Jesus said, my house will be called a house of prayer for all nations. And today we're praying for the nation of Russia.  A nation that right now, Lord, is experiencing the open doors for the gospel to move. And we're praying right now, Lord, that you would redeem a people from the nation of Russia and the surrounding nations that out of all the different ethnic groups and out of all the different time zones that Lord, you would move with might and you would move in strength in your church, in Russia. And we say, let your kingdom come in Russia as it is in heaven. And in the very same way, Lord, we're inviting you by the power of your Holy Spirit here this morning. Come and be enthroned on the praises of your people. Lord, give us eyes to see and ears to hear what you are doing and saying to us in this hour and in this moment. And Lord, we give you all the praise and the glory and the honor for it. In Jesus' name, amen and amen. Come on, can we lift up an applause to the Lord, to the one who's on the throne? Worship you, Jesus. We love you. Isn't it good to be in the house of the Lord this morning? Rainy day out there, but I'll tell you what, it's great in here. It's awesome. And we're so glad that you are here this morning. Would you do this? Would you turn around to two or three people? If you don't know them, introduce yourself, welcome them and tell them that you are glad that they are here this morning. Well, good morning, radiant. It is so good to see everybody this morning. Hey, isn't our parking lot a beautiful, beautiful thing? I mean, we wanted to go with a retro look here, so we just decided, hey, skip the pavement, just go with mud. It's beautiful. Actually, we just want to take a moment and we just want to thank all of you for your patience and your grace as we are redoing the parking lot. I know that this has been an extended period of time this summer. It's why we did it in summer. It's because we really needed to do some work on it. And when it is done here in about three weeks, it is going to be a beautiful parking lot, so smooth. It's not going to look like Tokyo. It's not going to look like Nagasaki. You know, after it's been bombed out, it's going to be smooth. It's going to be great. And we're all going to love it. And, but we just wanted to give you an update that it is being worked on. Sometimes you don't see the progress on it, but that's because we have them pack it down on the weekends so that we can actually drive on it. But they have been working so hard at it. And you might say, well, why does it, why so much work on it? Well, underneath, we had all the wrong materials from the first time they did the parking lot. And back in 2006, and so we had to go back, dig it all up, do it right. And this time we know that it's being done right. And it's going to be a long lasting parking lot. And we're going to thank Jesus for it every time we drive over it. Amen. So in the meantime, just consider driving and having to parking in the mud and walking in the grass. Just consider that persecution for Jesus. This is as if you were a missionary in another place.   We're so glad that you're here with us. We would love to have an opportunity to say hello to you in person or get to know the fact that you were here today. And you can do that for us in one of two ways. You can either, I don't know, do we have a QR code? We used to have a QR code. I went away for the summer and they got rid of the QR code.  If you would take that connect card out and fill that out for us sometime during the service and then stop by guest central on your way out, that would be great. And you can drop that card off. We have a gift that we would love to give to you. And there will be some people back there who would love to introduce radiant to you and answer any questions that you might have about who we are, what we believe, how to get involved, those kinds of things. And so we're honored that you are here today. We hope that you feel right at home. I'm gonna invite the ushers if they would to come forward right now. And we are going to receive our tithes and our offerings. We're gonna give back our tithes. And you know, the Bible says in 2 Corinthians that God loves a joyful giver. In fact, it literally says a hilarious giver, a giver that is filled with joy when he gives. So can we do this this morning? As we're about ready to give, can we just put our hands together and clap for the opportunity that we have to give back to God? Amen. Amen.  And so do not be mocked, God will not be mocked. Whatsoever a man sows that shall he also reap. And you can't out give God. We just wanna thank you for your generosity and advance. You can give online at radiant.church slash give or you can give here in a minute when the buckets go by or we have receptacles in the back. But we just wanna thank you in advance for your generosity. Let's pray and give to the Lord. Father, we bring to you our very best and our first and what a joy it is for us to give to you. And we pray that as we give and as our heart is turned towards you with our finances and put our trust in you that Lord you would open the windows of heaven and pour out blessing upon our jobs, our family, our finances, our households, even in the midst of what in the natural looks like difficult times, we trust in the Lord our God because you are unmoved by what's taking place in the earth. Your word is true, your promises are true. And we testify to the fact that God, you are faithful. Bless every gift and every giver in Jesus' name. Amen.  Whether you're in person or online, here are a few things that you need to know. A lot of great things are happening here at Radiant. Here are a few ways you can get involved right now. To check out all that's going on, head over to our website at radiant.church. You can also follow us on social media. If you would like to give today, you can visit our website, use our mobile app or drop an envelope into any of our offering boxes at any location. There are so many opportunities to grow, get plugged in and be encouraged here at Radiant. Head over to Get Central today for more information and a gift from us. We're so glad you've joined us today. Thanks for being here. Hi, Radiant. My name is Zach Dillon and I'm the next generation pastor here at Radiant Church. And I wanna invite you to be a part of our Seek and Send Seven Days of Family Prayer this August. And we believe here at Radiant Church that God is building a generation who will seek Him with their whole hearts. And a part of this vision looks like hundreds of altars of prayer, worship and discipleship in families and homes around our city.  Some ways we're gonna be doing this is we're having family focused prayer meetings all throughout the week. We're gonna have daily focuses, a family kickoff service where we have a family seek night on August 21st. We also have altar boxes that we're gonna be sending home with family starting August 14th. And these boxes have different days that have resources and materials for you to engage your kids and your family in focused prayer for the week as we consecrate ourselves and prepare for the new school year. It's gonna be a powerful, powerful week as we prepare to go into the new school year and I wanna invite all of you to be a part of it. You can find out more details at radiant.church.cconsent. We're really excited about our C-Consent for families and these boxes are gonna be such a gift to families. Oftentimes, when you're trying to do devotions with your family, you don't know where to start. This is gonna make it very simple. We just wanna encourage every family to jump in and to take advantage of this as we prepare to send our kids back to school this year. This morning, we wanna say hello first of all to Portage and to those who are online as well with us today. This is a very special weekend because we have our dear friends and global partners of Radiant Church, Pastor Rick and Denise Renner are here all the way from Moscow, Russia. And... Rick is really an apostolic leader that God has sent to that part of the world, the minister in the former Soviet Union and beyond and is a prolific writer, teacher. He's been a mentor to me for many, many years. Him and Denise have just been so kind and encouraging to Jane and I. We've had the privilege of being over there twice with him. He's one of my favorite Bible teachers of all time.  Welcome to the platform, Rick Renner as he comes to share the word. Good morning. Hey, man, you may be seated. Well, it is wonderful to be here and you are so blessed in this church to have pastors Lee and Jane.  And even though I live in Russia, I'm online all the time watching what you're doing in this church. And I really believe this is one of the best churches in the United States. And pastor Lee, I love you. Jane, we love you. We're so thankful for who you are and for what you represent to the kingdom of God. And thank you for letting me speak in your pulpit today. You really don't need me because you do a great job. But thank you for allowing me to speak in your pulpit. But do you have your Bibles? Some kind of a Bible? Let me see what you have today. Do you have real Bibles? Wow, that's more real Bibles than I've seen in church in a long time. Good job. Well, open your Bibles to 2 Timothy chapter one. And today I'm gonna do part one in the first service then I'm gonna continue in the second service. But Father, we thank you for today. We thank you for the word of God.  You're the one that authored this book and you're really the only one that has the authority to teach it. And so today I look to you as the great teacher. And I ask you to speak through me that you would illumine my mind, that you would enable us to hear the word of God. And that we would be changed when we leave this place today. And we thank you for this in Jesus' name. And everybody said amen. So open your Bible to 2 Timothy chapter one and we're going to begin in verse one. And when you come to 2 Timothy chapter one, verse one, Paul writes, Paul an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God then notice these two words. And if you have an ink pen or a pencil, underline these two words in verse one. According to the promise of life, which is in Christ Jesus. And when you read this in the original Greek text of the New Testament, the words according to is the Greek word kata. It's spelled K-A-T-A. It carries the idea of a downward force. In fact, this downward force is so strong, you could say that it is something that is dominating, it's conquering, it is subjugating. So you could actually translate the verse. An apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God being dominated, subjugated, conquered by the promise of life, which is in Christ Jesus. And it was very important that Paul began this book with the promise of life. Because at that particular moment, the church was surrounded by death. And here is what had happened. The emperor Nero had been ruling the Roman Empire for some time. In the first five years that he was the emperor of the Roman Empire, they were called the golden years. They were basically good years. And during that time, he was under the care of his mother. He was under the care of his teachers. He was submitted to authority. But after about five years of being submitted to authority, he began to say to himself, why should I be submitted to others when I am Nero, the emperor of the Roman Empire?  And during this time, Nero began to develop a type of madness and began to declare that he was God in the flesh and demanded that the entire Roman Empire would fall to its knees and would worship him. There were two groups in the empire that refused to comply. And these have always been the two groups that have refused to comply. And these were the Jews and a new group which were called Christians. Well, about the year 63, Nero decided that he needed to build for himself a new residence in the very heart of Rome. And so he went to the Roman Senate and he said to the Senate, I'm seeking your permission to tear down this ancient section of Rome so that I can build my new palace. And he'd actually designed a palace that would comprise more than 300 acres. Now, maybe you've seen a big house, but you have never seen a house that is 300 acres. And the Roman Senate said, no, we will not let you do this. And he was so offended by the Roman Senate that he went out to his villa on the outskirts of Rome, called his servants to him and said to them, I'm here so nobody will connect me with what about us is about to take place in the city of Rome. And he gave them the command to go into the stadium on Saturday when no one was there and to start a fire.   And by the time the fire was finished ravaging the city of Rome, Rome not only had been burnt but its slave population had lost all of their homes because the slaves which were two thirds of the city of Rome lived in those shanties that were made of wood hay and stubble. And just in a moment, all of their residences went up in a puff of smoke but Nero was thrilled because now the area where he wanted to build his house had been raised to the ground and he began construction on his palace which was called the Golden Palace. Again it was 300 acres, it was completely veneered in ivory and on top of the ivory it was veneered with gold and that's why it was called the Golden Palace. But rumors began to circulate throughout the city of Rome that Nero had given the order for the great fire. And he was summoned to the Roman Senate where he was going to be tried and possibly executed and while he was en route to the Senate he concocted a scheme about who he would blame for this fire. And when he stood in front of the Senate he said to the senators, how could you think that I Nero would burn down my beloved city? I know who has burned this down, my spies have brought me information. And the senator said, tell us Nero who is behind the fire? He said this new sect in town which we've all become aware of called Christians. They are the ones who have burned down the city of Rome and they said well give us proof, give us evidence of what they have done. And he brought five allegations against the Christians in the city of Rome. Number one, he said Christians are lawbreakers. And in a particular way he was right because back in those days you could not meet privately like we're meeting today unless you had the approval of the emperor and because Nero didn't like Christians every time they met they were violating the law but they had to decide whose law they were going to obey and they were to comply with man's law as long as it did not violate God's law but God's law said, forsake not the assembly of yourselves together. So because they decided to congregate as a church every time they met to worship they indeed were breaking the law. Number two, he said not only are they lawbreakers who are holding underground illegal meetings in their underground illegal meetings they're talking about the subversion of the government. They're talking about another king and they're talking about another kingdom. Well they were talking about King Jesus and they were talking about the kingdom of God but the way that Nero projected this was they were planning the subversion of the government the overthrow of the empire and the introduction of a new king and a new kingdom. He said not only that, not only are they lawbreakers not only are they subvernors of government but number three in their illegal underground meetings where they're planning the subversion of the government they are also practicing something called a love feast. Well the love feast was practiced by the early churches when they got together and they shared a meal they had communion. It was a time of Christian fellowship but you have to understand this was a pagan who was speaking and in fact Nero was such a pagan that while he ruled the Roman Empire he was married to two men at the same time. And by the time he was finished describing the love feasts was the Christians were having in their illegal underground meetings he had concocted this to sound like they were practicing the wildest orgies that could be imagined and a deviant called Christians deviants. He said not only that in their illegal underground meetings where they're planning the overthrow of the empire and practicing orgies on a scale like we cannot imagine they are also practicing cannibalism. And they said what? He said yes, Jesus of Nazareth the leader of their sect said except you eat my flesh and drink my blood you'll have no part in me. And on the basis of those words of Jesus he leveled a charge of cannibalism against the early church that stuck so strongly after that the church had to fire rumors of cannibalism for 200 years. And finally he said last of all I don't know why you would think that I Nero have burnt down the city of Rome when these Christians have been standing on our street corners preaching that one day in the future a great judgment was coming when the world was going to be tried with fire. And they were giving us the clue that they were going to burn down the city of Rome. And by the time that Nero was finished with these five allegations he had been so persuasive that in one moment the tables were completely turned on early Christianity. Now up until that time there had been persecution you can read about it in the book of Acts but the persecution in the book of Acts is not a governmental persecution it is a religious persecution. But after the fire of 64 suddenly the very first governmental persecution began against the church because of the five allegations which Nero brought against the news which was all fake news. Not a word of it was true which means fake news is nothing new it's been around for a long time. But because people tend to believe fake news they began to round up Christians in the largest cities of the Roman Empire. First they began to round up Christians in the city of Rome. The second largest city in the Roman Empire was Alexandria so then they began to purge in the city of Alexandria gathering up all the Christians. The third largest city in the Roman Empire was the city of Antioch. Then they moved to Antioch they began to round up the Christians in Antioch and finally Ephesus was the fourth largest city in the Roman Empire. So in Ephesus they began to round up the Christians And Christians have not been arrested on the basis of faith. They were not persecuted as Christians.  And they're right. They were tried as arsonists. They were killed with the charge of arsony.   If they were an arson, then you burned them with fire. And now Christians are being dipped in tar, tied around posts, set on fire, and all over the Roman Empire. At night, the streets are ablaze with the bodies of burning believers. And when you come to the book of 2 Timothy, Paul himself has been apprehended. His name was on the list of the most dangerous arsons among the Christians. And now he is incarcerated in the city of Rome and all over the city of Rome, the people are rejoicing because one of the so-called alleged chief arsons has been captured and is now imprisoned. Today, we have the internet, we have television, we have radio, we have newspapers. Back in those days, they had walls where the news was posted. And now people all over Rome are standing around the walls reading the news that this man, Paul, has been apprehended. And Paul is in jail, unable to defend himself or to speak a word in his own defense as the entire city of Rome is rejoicing that he has been arrested on the charge of arsenic. And while he is seated in prison, he receives a letter from his son in the faith, Timothy, who is the pastor of the church in Ephesus, which in the first century was the biggest church in the world. Some speculate that the church of Ephesus up until this moment had about 100,000 members. But now, not only are Christians dying in Rome and Alexandria and Antioch, now it has come to Ephesus and believers in Ephesus are dying for their faith and they're dying in miserable, wretched ways. And Timothy knows if the leadership of the city can find him, not only will they arrest him, but they will make his death terribly miserable in order to scare the other believers out of their faith and back into the old pagan temples. And Timothy knows that at any moment there can be a knock on his door and he may be next. And because Timothy is now seized with the spirit of fear. And we know that because Paul addresses it. In second Timothy chapter one, verse seven, we'll get there in just a moment. Timothy is seized with the spirit of fear. His emotions are gripping him. And in a moment of fear, he has pulled out a parchment. He has pulled out a pen and he has written a letter to Paul. And we know what he wrote to Paul because Paul's answer is second Timothy. And by reading second Timothy, we know that Timothy is a man that is hurt. He's hurt because people that he thought would always be faithful to him, they have walked out on him in this moment of trial. And now he's standing there alone, no longer having leaders on whom he can lead. He is wounded because of this.  And so now from his place, he has written a letter to Paul and has must have said something like this, Paul. I don't know if you can possibly understand what I'm feeling. Now just remember, where is Paul? He is in prison suffering as an arsonist in the worst prison in the city of Rome. And Timothy is writing to him asking for help, saying, Paul, you may not be able to understand how I feel and isn't it amazing how we always think that our situation is worse than someone else's. And now Timothy thinking that his situation is the worst of all, writes to Paul and says, Paul, I'm so wounded, I am so hurt. And second Timothy is Paul's response. And in fact, when you go further in second Timothy chapter one, listen to what he says to Timothy in verse 15. This thou knowest, that all they which are in Asia be turned away from me, of whom are Fakilus and Hermogenes. That is one of the most stunning scriptures in the entire New Testament because 90% of Paul's ministry had been done in Asia. That is where he had lived his life. That is where his most successful ministry was. And now in his moment of trial, all the believers in Asia have turned away from him. In fact, if you go over to chapter four, Paul describes what happened to him when he was taken to his first trial before Nero. When you come to second Timothy chapter four, verse 16, Paul says, at my first answer, that word answers the Greek word epilogue, it's the word for a defense or a trial. At my first trial, no man stood with me. But all men, forsook me. That word forsook means to forsake in a circle. It pictures Paul standing encircled by his friends. And when he needs someone to stand forward in his defense, he begins to go around the circle asking, will you stand with me? This one walks away. Will you stand with me? Will you stand with me? Will you stand with me? Will you stand with me? Will you stand with me? By the time Paul had worked the entire circle and come all the way around, he was standing there by himself. He says, all men, forsook me. And then he adds, I pray God that it not be laid to their charge, not withstanding. The Lord stood with me. The Greek says, the Lord stepped forward in my defense and strengthened me. And here we find the truth that if nobody else will stand with you, the Lord will step forward in your defense. Somebody say amen. But let's go back to 2 Timothy chapter one, back to verse one. Paul, an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God according to the Greek word cata, being conquered, dominated, subjugated by the promise of life. Paul is choosing to apprehend life and not be dominated by the bad news all around him. Then he says in verse two, to Timothy, my dearly beloved son, grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus, our Lord. Well, in verse two, you find something that is not ordinary for Paul. Normally when Paul writes his letters, his salutations say grace and peace be unto you. And by the way, do you know why he always says grace and peace be unto you? Because in the Hebrew world, when one Jew would greet another Jew, what would they say? Shalom, peace. In the Greek world, do you know what they said one to another? Grace. Greeks greeted Greeks with the word grace. Jews greeted Jews with the word peace, shalom. And by saying grace and peace in one brilliant statement, he was able to wrap his arms around the entire world, pagans and Jews alike. To those of you that are Greek, I say grace. To those of you that are Jews, I say peace. But then he adds another word in the middle. He adds the word mercy. And this word mercy is only used two times in Paul's salutations here. And in the book of Titus. And in both cases, he's writing to a young man in the faith who is overwhelmed. Titus was overwhelmed because Paul had left him on the Isle of Crete. There was no one worse than Cretians. In fact, in the book of Titus, Paul does something which today would be culturally and politically incorrect. He says, Cretians are lazy, glutton and liars. That's what he says about them. And he's talking about his church on the Isle of Crete. And then he says to Titus, by the way, I didn't finish my ministry there. I left a lot of things undone. And I left you there to set in order all the things that I didn't finish. And Titus had the job of working with lazy, glutton and liars. And he needed to know that God didn't just have grace and peace for him, but God had a little extra mercy for him. And now when he writes to Timothy, he tucks a little mercy between the grace and the peace. Which means when we're going through hard times, not only does God extend to us grace and peace, but God understands and God tucks mercy between the grace and the peace. There's a special measure of mercy for anybody that's going through any kind of a hard time. And then Paul says in verse four, greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy what? Tears, scholars say. When Paul unwrapped the parchment to read Timothy's letter, he could see the stains from Timothy's tears that had fallen on the parchment as Timothy was writing. He could see Timothy's tears. And he knew from what Timothy had written that Timothy was taken with the spirit of fear. So then when you come to verse five, Paul does something very unusual. He says, when I call to remembrance, the unfamed faith that is in thee, which dwells first on thy grandmother Lois and thy mother Eunice. And I'm persuaded that in thee also, and Pastor Lee later remind me to tell you something about the verse, very interesting. But notice he says, when I call to remembrance, the unfamed faith, unfamed faith, what does that mean, unfamed faith? The unfamed faith which dwells first in their grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, obviously Paul knows Timothy's entire family.  And he says, I know the unfamed faith that is in thee, which dwelt, that word dwelt is a form of the Greek word, oikas is the word for a house, a faith which has taken up residency in your grandmother. It wasn't just something she mentally ascended to, it lived in her, it thrived in her, faith made its home inside her, and your mother Eunice, and I'm persuaded, this same faith is alive, it is thriving, it is dwelling, it's taken residency in you as well. But what is an unfamed faith? Well, it comes from the word feigned, and the Greek word for feigned, describes something that is bogus, something that is phony, or something that is insincere. It is the very word in Greek which Jesus used when he addressed the scribes and the Pharisees and called them hypocrites, it is the very same word. And the Greek word that is used is exactly the word which was used by actors on a Greek or Roman stage. They wore masks to pretend to be who they were not. And it was believed at that time, I think it still might be true today, that there was nobody lower in the terms of morals than an actor, because an actor would do anything, say anything, put on any face for the applause of the crowd. If he didn't believe it, he'd say it anyway, and therefore actors were bogus, they were fake, they were phony, they were insincere. And every time Jesus called scribes and Pharisees hypocrites, you could literally translate it, I know who you guys are.  But now he says to Timothy, you have an unfamed faith, which means Timothy is there's nothing bogus about your faith. There's nothing phony or pretend about your faith. Your faith is a real faith, it is a sincere faith, it is an unbendable, unbreakable faith, the same faith which lived in your grandmother, it lived in your mother, and I'm persuaded that it's in you too. Now wait, Timothy has just written a letter and it said, Paul, please help me. I'm dealing with fear. I don't know if I'm gonna make it. Please encourage me. And notice how Paul encourages him. He says, when I remember the unbendable, unbreakable real faith that lived in your grandmother and your mother, he begins walking Timothy through his past. Timothy is facing a terrible situation. And when you look at whatever you're facing right now, it seems huge, it looms over you.  But in fact, it's not. You just have a problem of a bad memory. If you'll turn around and look at your past, you have walked through equally dangerous things in your past and you have walked through every one of them just fine. You didn't know how you were gonna pay your bills. You didn't know what you were going to do about your health. You didn't know how you were gonna deal with your family, but God walked you through every one of those. And now Paul basically says, Timothy, Timothy, Timothy, Timothy, you're forgetting some things you should never forget. Your grandmother had a real faith that was unbendable and unbreakable.  She passed it to your mother. She had an unfamed, unbendable, unbreakable real faith. And now she passed it on to you. And Timothy, if you just stop and remember, God has always walked you and your family through the roughest of times. And the reason we fear the present is because we forget the past. We're just forgetting the past. I don't know what you're facing in your life right now. It may seem huge, but if you'll turn around and look at your past, you will recall moments in your past when you did not think you were going to make it, when you didn't know how you were going to pay your bills, when you didn't know what you were going to do with your kids or the conflict with your siblings, and on and on and on and on and on and in every one of those events, you wondered how you would get through it, but you got through every one of them and here you are today. You're doing fine.  God has supplied so much food. Most of us could stand to lose a few pounds. We thought we wouldn't eat. I think we're eating fine. God has absolutely been faithful. You're just afraid of the present because you're forgetting the past. And this is why the book of Psalms tells us over and over and over, never forget the works of the Lord. Reflect on the works of the Lord. And when you get to verse six, Paul then adds, wherefore, I put you in remembrance that thou stir up the gift of God which is in you by the putting on of my hands.  But what do you do if there's no one to lay hands on you? What if you can't find a friend and you're in a bad moment? What do you do if you're a Paul and you're in prison and there's no one to strengthen you and no one to console you? What do you do? Well, Paul tells us what to do in verse six. He says, wherefore, I put the in remembrance and the Greek says it different in a very important way. The Greek says, wherefore, in light of what I just said to you, in light of the fact that real faith, unbendable, unbreakable faith is a part of your family heritage. You saw it in your grandmother, you saw it in your mother, you have a history with God's faithfulness, God walking you through everything. Wherefore, in light of that history in your life, the Greek literally says, I'm reminding you of these things that by your remembering them, you might start the gift of God that is in you. And here we find that God is placed in each of our hands, a divine poker that we can use ourselves to stir up the gift of God that is in us. And it is the power of memory. If he had said fast, some people would say, well, I can't physically fast, I have a problem, I'm a diabetic, I can't skip meals. If he had said memorize the scripture, some people would have rightly said, I just don't have the ability to remember like that. But we all have the ability to remember.  When Denise and I, our family first moved to the former Soviet Union, at that time it wasn't former, it was still the Soviet Union. We burned coal for heat in our house. One winter, our little son, Paul, who was eight years old, carried six tons of coal into the house, two buckets at a time. And you know, you've got to really work on that fire if you want that fire to keep burning. You've got to just keep stirring those coals all the time. You can't just sit and hope that they're going to keep burning by themselves because if you don't keep working those coals eventually the coal becomes hard. It begins to get black. It begins to burn out. You've got to work those coals, break up those coals, put more coal into the fire all the time. If you want to have a fire all day long, you've got to be working all day long at that furnace. And you have to do it with a poker. And now Paul says, hey Timothy, you need to reach inside you.  Stir yourself up. I'm reminding you of all of these things that by your remembering them, by your remembering them, you will stir up the gift of God that is in them. In the past two years, this scripture became very, very relevant to me because I went through a situation in Russia which I can't even describe. A situation so serious that when Denise and I and our sons sat at the table filled with lawyers, the entire room filled with lawyers to discuss my situation that I did not create and I had nothing to do with, but now I found myself in the middle of something more serious than I could ever, ever state. And then they began to describe what was going to happen to me. It felt like all the oxygen had just been sucked out of the room. I looked across the table to my attorney. And I said, what are the chances of this being reversed? He held up his big hands and made a zero. He said, zero. What has happened to you has never been reversed for one person in 30 years. It will not be reversed for you either. My team who are all men of faith were absolutely silent. After about four hours of meeting, we all got up shook hands, didn't know what to do. The attorneys didn't know what to do. Here I am caught in a situation. I didn't create a situation that by myself I cannot fix. We got in the car to go home. One of my associates was driving. I was sitting on the right. Denise was in the back seat crying because what we had just heard was just horrible. I tried to speak to the man who was driving. He just looked at me and said, I can't speak. I can't speak. So I'm sitting in the front seat by myself. Nobody will talk to me. So I said, well, okay, I'll start talking to myself. And you know what I did? I began walking through my past. All the times we didn't think we'd have money for a project God asked us to do, but supernaturally the money came. All the times that it looked like the mafia in the past had entrapped us, but they did not. I began walking myself through every one of those events just like Paul says, remember these things.   This mountain did look so big after all. It was no different than anything else.  And I will tell you friends, what happened to me was reversed. It was reversed. The first in 30 years. The first in 30 years. But what if I had allowed a spirit of fear to take me instead of my faith? A spirit of fear would have had me packing my bags. I would have been gone. But you know, there's one thing about faith. Faith stands still. Faith knows where it is supposed to be. Faith knows what is its promise. Faith knows what God has said. And real faith does not budge. And faith is connected to endurance. The word endurance in Greek is the word hupomene. The word hupo means to be under. The word menom means to stand. You compound the two words together. We translate it as the word patience. It's really the word endurance, hupomene. It's a picture of a man who hupo is under a heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy load. But men, oh, he's resolved. I'm not moving. I'm not budging. I'm not flinching. This is my spot.  I refuse to surrender. I'm never moving. I'm never budging. I'm never flinching. This is my spot. I'm determined to maintain what has been promised to me. And faith and patience work together. We read that in Hebrews chapter six, verse 12. They work together. They're twins. You have to have both. But wait, when you look at verse seven, Paul says, Timothy, Timothy, Timothy. Look at verse seven. God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love. And a sound mind. Notice he calls fear a spirit. And fear is spiritual. It is a spiritual force. You can feel fear when it comes in the room. How many of you know that? How many of you have ever watched a horror movie that you later regretted that you watched? And while you were watching the horror movie, you felt a presence come into the room. Fear is a spiritual force. And the word fear that is used here is the Greek word dolius. It describes someone that is moving in retreat. They're moving backward into a mode of insulation or they're moving backward into a mode of self-preservation. This is the opposite of faith. Faith stands still or faith is moving forward. Very often the word faith is used in the date of case. It describes something always moving forward. I say faith is like a bullet that's been shot out of a gun. Once it's been shot, you can't pull it back because faith is always moving forward. This is why in Hebrews chapter 10, the writer of Hebrews says, we are not of them that draw back. Faith never draws back. It never moves backward. And if you're moving backward, then you're not moving in faith because faith is always taking new territory. Faith is always making an advance but now Timothy who is the pastor of the church of Ephesus and is to be the example for everyone else is himself backing up into a mode of self-preservation because he's afraid of what's going to happen to him. He is now moving in a spirit of cowardice. And Paul says, Timothy, God did not give you a spirit of fear but of what? Power and of love and of a sound mind. The word power is the word dunamis. Everybody say dunamis. And everybody thinks they know what dunamis means. Most people say it means dynamic power and that is true. But that really misses the point because the word dunamis is the very Greek word which was used by the Greeks and by the Romans to describe the full might of an advancing army.  You have the full might of an advancing army inside you. So why are you in retreat? But there's something else. The word dunamis was the word used in the first century when this was being written to describe a force of nature. For example, the word dunamis would describe a hurricane. It could describe a tornado or the word dunamis was used to describe the activity of earthquakes. And by using this word dunamis, Paul was saying, Timothy, you have in you the equivalent of a spiritual hurricane to blow things out of the way. You have within you the force of a tornado. You have within you the might of an earthquake to shake things up. This is what God has given you. And then he adds end of love. The word love that is used here is the Greek word agape. Everybody say agape. The word agape and the word grace are the two most difficult words to translate in the New Testament. They're very difficult to translate. The word agape is what I call high level love. Most Christians have never really come to know agape. Most function in phileo, which is what I call low level love. Phileo is friendship love. It is reciprocal love. Phileo is I'm gonna love you as long as you love me back. I'm gonna patch you as long as you pat me on the back. I'll keep scratching your back as long as you keep scratching mine. But the day comes that you don't scratch me back, I'm out of here. Even marriages usually function in phileo love. That's why so many marriages end up in divorce because they feel disappointed and they're back out of the relationship. It's low level love. But agape love, agape love, which is the love of God. High level love is love that has no strings attached. It has no expectations. This is the word which we find in John 3.16, for God so loved, he simply loved the world. At a moment when the world was not even looking for him, he came unto his own and they received him not. But Paul says, God has given to you the highest level of love and a sound mind. A sound mind. He was operating in an irrational mind. When you don't have a sound mind, it just throws open the door for the spirit of fear to create on the movie screen of your mind all the things that are gonna happen to you, everything that everybody is saying about you. When in fact, nobody's even talking about you. But in your mind, you're imagining all these things. But if you have a spirit of fear, how do you shuck it? How do you walk out of it? Well, we've seen today the power of memory. You need to stir yourself up, but there's something else. There's something else. And that's what we're gonna see in the next service. But I want you to put your hands on your heart and I wanna pray for you. Father, we think that you have not given to one of us a spirit of fear, not one of us. But you have given us power, you've given us love and you've given us a sound mind and each person in this room has a record of your faithfulness. And we ask you to forgive us for being forgetful and help us to turn around and remember every faithful thing you've done in our life and to face whatever we're looking at now with faith and with courage, believing it's gonna fall as well. And we thank you for this Father in Jesus' name. Amen, amen. Wasn't that a great word? Wow. Come on, how many needed a word of encouragement like that this morning? Come on, let's stand up on our feet this morning. Tell you what, we need to be encouraged to both be faithful and to be people of endurance and to remember the goodness of God. Let's just take a minute. How many of you just right now, real quick, can remember at least one moment in your life where God showed himself miraculously faithful to make a way that everything seemed impossible? Just raise your hand and hold it up. I want you to look around at all the hands. Not only can you remember your moment but look at the hundreds of other moments that God has done that. How many of you know if he was faithful then, he will be faithful today and on into the future because he's just that good? Amen, thank you so much, Rick. And by the way, this morning as you walk out at both of our locations, Rick has resources. He literally has written more books than anybody I know. He writes books when he's asleep in autopilot. He like wakes up and there's a whole book just waiting there. He and I will text occasionally and he's given me the privilege of previewing many of the books that he's written and he writes two or three books at a time. Here's what I love about his books. They're just rich in the word and they just cause me to grow and to love the Bible more and more and more and to love Jesus more and more. So I encourage you, there are no better places that you can invest your finances than in books and teaching that is gonna encourage and strengthen your spirit. So stop by there on your way out. I wanna invite our prayer team to make their way down to the front if they would here. And as we dismiss this morning, here's what I know as I know that in this room, you may not be facing situations that Timothy was facing 2000 years ago, but I know this, many of us are facing circumstances and situations where we feel overwhelmed, we feel alone and we're in a place where we need Jesus to make himself very real to us and to stand with us just like he stood with Paul. And the promise is that Jesus has given to all of us is I will never leave you and I will never forsake you. One of the ways that God steps into our situations with us is when we take a step of faith and we pray together. Other people's faith strengthens us. There's healing when we pray for one another through the laying on of hands, through asking and inviting someone to pray with us, through praying the prayer of faith. And this morning, if you find yourself in the midst of a battle, in the midst of a storm, in the need for God to show himself strong, we're just gonna invite you before you leave to come and receive prayer. Our prayer team, ministry team, they've been praying for you. They are anointed by God. They have been trained and they are filled with faith to pray with you about whatever circumstance that you're facing. So let's just, before we dismiss, let's bow our heads right now. Let's take a deep breath in and remind our hearts. Like the writer of the Psalms says, bless the Lord, oh my soul and all that is within me, bless his holy name and forget not all of his benefits. Lord, today we choose to remember all of your benefits. If you redeem our lives from the pit, how you place a crown upon our heads, how you bless us with life everlasting, Lord that you promise to never leave us or forsake us. Lord, fill us with faith and courage today. And as we walk out the doors of this building today, help us to be people that shine the light of hope that's only found in Jesus, the giver of the promise of life. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen, everybody, you're dismissed. Come forward if you'd like to receive prayer this morning.


Today's episode is sponsored by The Dark Room. Well, I guess it's time for another one. Another edition of Gas Station Hopping and Me Struggling With My Demons, which are mostly photography related. Road Trips. They're good for your soul. But what if you don't have a soul? Well then, I guess listening to music about death is a good alternative. Enter Lord Huron, one of my favorite bands.  I'm not really much of a concert goer myself, but they were performing in Denver in a couple of days and I wanted to be there for that.  More on that in a couple minutes once we cover some photography f*** ups that I made. Don't act like this whole thing is a bad idea. You've probably done something similar yourself, driven hundreds of miles to see your favorite performer live. We've all done it. It's not that big a deal. For this mission east, I packed up some photography gear. After all, that's what we do here. And basic survival supplies for the road ahead, sorry. Road ahead. Anyway, after kissing my roommate goodbye and a solid fist bump from my dog, I got ready to go. I had four days to get to Denver from LA and for a lot of it, I'd be alone on the Honda, which I faithfully nicknamed Rusty because all of our aftermarket bolts were pretty rusted out from riding through a hurricane last year. Getting out of LA was the same as it always is.  But eventually I escaped from under cloud cover and made it out to the desert just in time to visit meth Jurassic Park. Since it was my very first stop on a long trip, it was also time to figure out what on my bike would be broken already. This time my custom hand built with love windshield support that I've been trying to solve for a year was basically in shambles. Just like any typical version two of something, this one was far less effective than that version one, so I'd just have to ditch it entirely. Anyway, whatever, I figured I'd load up the Nikon F2 and get to shooting. I wanted to try something different, so I put in rolly infrared black and white and used an R72 filter on the lens, which blocks all visible light and only lets infrared light through the first photo of the trip. Notoriously always bad. And this one is definitely no exception. It always takes a minute or two to get in the zone. Oh, Riley auto parts. Before this trip began, I developed a strategy so good that World War Two generals would have to change their pants. Hear me out. Roli infrared looks really, really cool when you shoot it and only capture infrared light.  But here's the kicker.   It's super versatile in theory. But man, oh man, was I up catastrophically and I didn't even know it yet. OK, this image is it actually is worse than it looks. Why? Well, let's start with the obvious fact that a visible light blocking filter on a TTL camera will block out any and all bits of light that we humans can see. That's right. The viewfinder was blacked out pretty much the whole time. And I was kind of just guesstimating every shot I took. And I think it kind of shows. I don't know how I didn't think about this ahead of time, but that isn't even the worst of it. If you zoom in, which God forbid you do under any circumstances, you'd realize that they are slightly out of focus. Why? Well, the gist is infrared light focuses on a different plane than visible light. Yeah, it's pretty trippy stuff. It's also day one stuff. Literally, babies know this and I don't. Basically, when you set focus, you're then supposed to twist your focus forward to the red infrared notch to account for this infrared focus shift. Not all lenses have the notch. And to be fair, if you stop down to like F8 or F11, this isn't really a problem most of the time. Anyway, I was wide open the whole time because you basically have to shoot this film at ISO six if you're trying to only capture infrared light. Anyway, for better or definitely certainly worse, these images all display only infrared light, which is kind of a surreal look for the desert on gas. I decided to pull over in this little remote desert town to find someone and siphon their tank when they weren't looking. Lo and behold, it was a cool little area with many abandoned buildings and I got distracted by my deep overwhelming passion for photography. There was someone else that pulled up in the same area as me, Jack, an older gentleman who was visiting because he said he used to be a trucker and he would eat here often because the people were great, maybe as recently as 1998. Hey, that rhymed. I'm a poet and I didn't even know that I was one.   Like my entire generation. I don't think these shots are bad. I just know that they could have been better technically. For these dimmer interiors, I took off the R72 and shot normally at 400. After all, that was the strategy all along, right? Well, it turns out that they're OK. The strategy was a success, kind of. It's kind of like my own personal Normandy Beach. Yeah, sure, it worked, but at what cost? Let's get to this gas station, 30 minutes. Cruising across the deep desert was certainly something. It's just a straight shot, honestly. I think the people who built the road probably threw in one little S curve to keep it interesting for the drivers. Anyway, a couple of miles down the road of the California border, I stopped in Salami, Arizona at this motel that was literally in the middle of nowhere. I honestly thought that it was abandoned when I first pulled up. But it wasn't. I was just their first customer in probably like a month. Thinking that other people would definitely show up later and that I wouldn't die out here alone at this derelict motel. I unloaded my pack and called it. For I had just done about 300 miles in the desert heat and I was out of energy for the day. So, yeah, the interior here was cool. It was hunting themed and seeing as how we were deep in the desert, far away from anywhere that I can imagine there being live game. I started to wonder what they hunt out here. After realizing it's people, which I am one of, I settled in and made my peace with the fact I wasn't going to sleep tonight. Cool little hotel room. Definitely has a theme. That theme is hunting. You guys aren't going to believe this. New Live Laugh Love dropped. It's Live Laugh Love version two. Live Laugh 300 miles, 95 degrees, crosswinds. But I made it and I'm exhausted. Oh, there's a fly in here. Very interesting hotel. I think I would feel a little bit better if there was literally anyone else here. Wow, this must be the only place Google doesn't actually tell you the sunset. Oh, it's because I spelled it wrong. 730. OK, so that's in like two hours. You know what? Let's take this opportunity and load up some color film. This year, I brought my Minolta Freedom Zoom Explorer EX in place of my contacts T2. The T2 lens is fixed at 38 millimeters, which can be a bit tight sometimes. This Minolta actually has a 28 to 70 on it, and it's pretty sharp. So it seemed to be a better overall camera for who knows what I'll find out on the road. Anyway, with the sun going down and the sounds of human hunting parties rallying in the distance, I, a frightened little film photography drifter who could disappear easily, grab my weapon of choice, the Minolta, and shot some abandoned shacks that were literally right next door. This first shot is the best of the set that evening, but that isn't really saying much. I do like the cactus shadow on the building. The lighting and colors aren't half bad either. Kodak gold can be kind of hit or miss. Sometimes there's a reason it's a cheaper and more discount film than the likes of Portra. I think the difference really lies in the cast of colors in the shadows. If I was being honest with myself, I wasn't really that hungry. It was really more of like a necessity thing. I went over there and the lady was really nice. She told me they were closing in 15 minutes, so I wasn't going to be that guy. There's nothing really around. So I guess I'm just going to starve as I can eat tums if I get hungry. Not as fun as you might think. It's better to have someone to like go through the experience with you, even if it sucks. Why am I alone right now? Is it because I burned all my bridges with my friends? Yep. The real reason that I'm doing this trip is because last year we did a cross country trip on our motorcycles. Me and my buddy Tim and Tim's bike broke down south of Minneapolis. He just had to leave it there over the winter. This year we were planning on just going to get it. But I told him I didn't want to go all the way to Minneapolis again, like from LA. No, thanks. I've done it. Basically, I'm going to be by myself the first couple of days because Tim is in Minnesota and he and I are kind of converging in Denver where the concert is. And then we just head back from Denver. But I thought I was going to enjoy being alone. I don't know, maybe I'll get used to it.  Things that I like about this hotel room, the interior design is inspired by Duck Dynasty, probably. Things that I do not like about this hotel. I am still the only person here. Anyway, it was time to, as Walt Whitman once famously wrote, get the f*** out of there. So I packed up the bike and headed north towards the Grand Canyon. Eventually I took a little break in Ash Fork, which is along Route 66, I believe. Caleb and I actually came here a couple of years ago and shot it a little bit. It doesn't really change too much since then, but after talking to some people in town, it sounds like land developers are starting to move in and build the place up, which means this abandoned motel probably won't be there for too much longer. So I was glad I can capture it on infrared film, even if it is a little bit soft. Anyway, just outside the canyon or random desert gaping hole in the earth, whatever you want to call it, I had some time to kill before sunset, which means Margarita time a the park into the Grand Canyon for sunset.  It's currently going to take about an hour to get there, even though I'm only going like eight miles. And that's just because it's a Mario Day weekend. One eternity later. Have an awesome weekend. Hopefully it calms down for you guys a little bit, Ash. Find out normally would, but we can't keep up with you guys. Once I finally made it to the Grand Canyon zone, make out point all by myself, just like in middle school, high school, the senior trip, prom and college. I soon remembered that I'm out of shape and I wouldn't actually be able to get down the trail to the point that I was trying to get to. But the light was very inspiring, and I went for a walk anyway with the gold and the minolta, especially because the trail had a Moscow mule open bar at the end of it, at least based on my own interpretation of the sign. After placing my expensive video camera precariously on the edge of a cliff so that I got the angle of me squatting down to take a huge shot. I took some photos that weren't really anything special. Climbing back up to the trailhead start was where the real magic was. The light was starting to get pretty good, and there were a lot of people around to be my unwilling participants in my photographs like this girl. This photo is incredible. Definitely a portfolio shot, and I knew it as soon as I popped it open in Lightroom. The lighting, the colors and the sense of mood gained from the image are incredible. Don't get me started on those brown tones either. It just takes all the boxes on my portfolio checklist.  Honestly, the rest of the photos that day kind of pale in comparison to that last one. But you know what they say, comparison is the thief of joy. And I haven't felt joy since before I started shooting film. It really isn't enough for me to just take a photo of a beautiful view. If that were the case, the Grand Canyon would be the perfect vista and I'd be flying through roles here. A scenic view doesn't make an impactful photograph most of the time, at least to me. There are definitely exceptions. Ansel Adams seems to have figured it out. But I think for my work, I need some sort of subject. This shot really isn't anything great, but at least the subject here is this boulder centered in frame. And that's something. Anyway, photography philosophy over for now, as the hydrogen lamp in the sky began its short leave. Wendy's, uh, unfortunately was closed. It's like literally right next door. So I went to this place next door to Wendy's. It didn't really have, like, good reviews, but I gotta say, honestly, that was pretty f***ing delicious. I took one single photo here and honestly, I thought it would have turned out better. It's just kind of an informational overload of a photo. It's too busy. I do like the dark separation of the layers, which is all thanks to the miracle of infrared light, but otherwise, this is a photo I'll probably never show again. Anyway, I left that spot and rode with my e-brake on for like 15 feet in front of another motorcyclist, which was great for my ego. But eventually I left the park and accessed the wide open canyon desert roads ahead. Eventually I made it to Kayanta and managed to find another hotel with virtually no one staying at it. But before I could take a huge trauma dump from the desert heat and settle into the air-conditioned room, I realized Monument Valley was gonna close the entry gate in about 45 minutes. So I did what I was advised against and hit the turbo on Ole Rusty, like that one scene from the famous documentary Men in Black. Anyway, after totally pretending like I wouldn't get stuck out there because I'm built different, I arrived at scenic Monument Valley where the lighting was good, but not yet perfect. I popped off some infrared shots and the occasional shots on gold that are fine. This shot has colors that look like butthole, but the concept was really good. I think if I turned off the flash, it would have worked a lot better. Ultimately I decided to be in my best interest to wait it out for a couple hours until sunset, which with the miracle of editing can happen almost instantaneously. This shot is good. The colors are nice and warm and I love the reflection of this guy to kind of add another layer to the image. I fired off some more shots with flash inside the visitor building, but I'm not a fan. I just can't seem to get the point and shoot flash look down.  The underexposed shadow fall-off look on film is actually kind of growing on me, like an STD. Shadows totally dominate. Painting. I thought it was a picture of like, like COVID. I was like, what the f***? Why would they? It's just a picture of a flower. The only place in this town that isn't a McDonald's that has food is like a gas station. And it closed at 9 and I got there at 9.08. So I'm just going to starve tonight. Maybe I'll go to McDonald's tomorrow for breakfast. Monument value is really cool and I pretty much just camped out there until the sunset light started getting dramatic. I didn't really have much to do, but this guy, Marcus, came up to me. Marcus, if you're watching, thanks for being my buddy for like an hour or two. We got to chatting about Leica and so on and so forth. He had seen my videos. The Kodak Gold was finished. A good match for the desert, but for now I was on to other biomes. Of the 36 exposure roll of gold, I got 20 keepers and one portfolio shot. Monument where Utah, Nebraska, Colorado and Gotham City all unite at one corner. I was in the area and I always wanted to do that thing where I call someone while I'm standing in all four states. It's a classic joke that always kills. So I called Monica and told her to guess where I was to which she replied and I'm paraphrasing.  I know you're trying to be funny, but it isn't cute. Made it into Colorado and the scenery was already starting to get a little greener as I began to head up into the mountains towards Ure. Somewhere along the way I stopped at this. I don't know what it was.  I could definitely relate. After all, I had McDankies for breakfast and my time to leak was vastly approaching as well. But before I blew a McGrittle sized hole in my pants, I had nothing in my milota which needed to change. Now being in green and lush Colorado, I figured it was time for a Fuji stock that handles the color green quite elegantly. So I opted for Superior 200, the OG formula, not the Kodak gold Fuji 200 bulls***. Somebody sent me an entire bag of original formula Fuji Superior, which like original formula for Loco is quite hard to find nowadays to my understanding. Thank you. You know who you are. Or maybe you don't. I mean, do any of us really know who we are? I shot the mine on a myriad of different stocks here for comparison which is a convenient excuse for me when I'm being indecisive.  Which one looks the best? Tough call. But yeah, probably the superior. Riding through the mountains was absolutely breathtaking. Scenic vistas everywhere.  What's the best way to shoot this? Anyways, this jeep pulled up to steal my totally original never-before-seen shot. I rode away in fear that it might be someone more talented than me. Eventually, I made it to Ure, a tiny little town in the mountains that some of our film photography elite beautifully shot earlier this year. And yeah, I don't know what these guys were up to, but damn did I want to get a beer with them. Hotel room is pretty dope. It smells really good in here. Well, not anymore after, never mind. I'm gonna go get beer and food and kind of walk around town a little bit. Probably bring the point and shoot. Yeah. There isn't really sunset light in Ure. I mean, technically there is, but it's all on the mountaintops because the town kind of sits in this valley. So shooting was kind of fun. But speaking of busting, I called Caleb that evening because I had the story of a lifetime ready to go. At first I thought it was a rock. This thing splattered. It was huge. I don't know how big this bug was.  But then I looked at it closer and I was like, wait, this isn't a bug. This is bird sh** and somehow it landed on my knee while I was going 60 miles an hour. The next morning it was time to get going early. And I figured just about everyone was ready to go to the 7.30 a.m. wake-up. Today was the day I'd be cruising the million dollar highway, a famous road up in the mountains known for how boring it is. But first I stopped at a scenic overlook of Ure to eat my gourmet hotel breakfast. But that wouldn't hold me over as I soon whipped out my infrared film of both varieties and power squatted to assert my dominance. Look at the lighting on that thing. It's killer. Bike doesn't fall over. While I was having maybe the best day over and decided to put in some effort for my photography along the edge of a cliff next to a highway. And honestly I thought this shot was going to be it. You know what I'm talking about. The one. The one that defines a career. The one that everyone has hung up in their homes. The one that dethrones the toilet shot. But it wasn't. It was out of focus as we already covered and overall the composition wasn't really sitting right with me.  It's never worth it. Sadly. That was it for the Rolly Infred. So now it's safe and you can stop squinting because the next role will actually be in focus. Of the 36 exposure Rolly Infred I got a lot of shots for sure. None of them were really keepers and none were portfolio shots because technically they're all f**ked up looking. I got a hot pocket that exploded in the microwave. One thing that you think is going to happen a lot when you buy a motorcycle is that you'll have a lot more streets and you'll have a lot more people. I think the quest in New Mexico was great to ride through very scenic just about up until Albuquerque. But it was a long ride regardless and I was definitely excited to see some familiar faces. My buddy Brendan who you might remember from last year's thing or the thing before that or the thing before that just bought his first house and moved in with his brother Tim like a month or so before I got there. We'll put it in the back later unless you want to put it What about the bike? Yeah baby. After waking up totally sober and ready to do some charity work or something because I definitely felt like a million dollars we started to pack up our bikes for the road ahead. That's right I'd be joining Brendan and Tim for my first ever threesome and Brendan was busy getting his arms ready. Eventually we decided to take heed of the words that Taco Bell's been preaching all these years and live moss so we headed north from there toward the Colorado border making only a few crucial gas stops out amongst the crosswind with riders of the storm drumming along in our heads amongst the rain and yes even lightning so fast that my camera shutter didn't pick it up we eventually made it to the one and only Las Vegas New Mexico are you guys milkshake shamy thing after something like 280 miles we eventually made it to Rat Town or whatever it's called a smallish town on the border and the air smells so good oh yeah if you guys catch some whips of it pretty much the whole future Inside the hotel room things maintained relatively straight forward between all of us polite and well mannered young citizens let's see what we got here at least until we saw the haunted painting that would be watching us sleep that evening look at these two both missing souls eyebrows with nothing left to live for I mean with some more black and white luckily I had some Ilford fp4 with me that was given to me by my friend and former lover beeley a local legend it was expired like our relationship but not by much so I rated it at 100 ISO just to be safe somehow throughout my illustrious career I've never shot fp4 so I was definitely kind of excited to see what all the hype was about as it definitely seems to be sort of a cult favorite in the community I was also excited ordering excursion yeah who would do that psychopath you know what man we gotta just fight so this shot is I mean it's good right very moody and the flash did fire might be one of the best so far I love the detail of the lamp inside today's just been one of those days you know until it's too late what are you doing with all that lotion in there how's it looking captain the next day was the concert and the day when I met Tim the guy whose bike broke down outside of Minneapolis which I'm sure that he loves every time we bring that up before all the partying we would do we had many miles to cover first so we woke up early and hit the road after some complimentary breakfast fools grow the church bells ring I took a little walk just to see the ship's coming in eventually we made it to Denver and I split off from Tim and Brendan while they went to there I couldn't think of anything better to do so I got a tattoo of the very wise and powerful philosophy that I had heard earlier in the journey that like a demon I just couldn't shake from my head afterwards it was time to reunite with everyone including Tim who had just traveled long and far from Minneapolis with his original bike we literally just pulled up I saw you guys get off the highway did you I was like f**k I'm at a red light you guys stuck in that rain? no no yeah we got rained on oh really? you got a cute little gas man that's the shot right there anyway Tim was back on his bulls**t already so we decided to get drunk in the room as it was looking more and more like the concert tonight might get rained out after striking that perfect balance of blacked out and nothing else we headed down to Red Rocks for some cardio that we didn't know we'd be getting after we all threw up in the stairwell Huron took the stage and it was a magical time had by all from what I don't remember the sun roams up right above the highway holding the sky away it's like the day that you young the next morning we awoke to find someone, not us had trashed our hotel room Rockstar style believe it or not today was the day we were heading back west so we set our sights on a familiar place at least to me Euray which would be a long day for sure but riding in a group before it definitely makes it go quicker I'm still stuck with these douches at the gas station I picked up some thicker gloves because my hands were freezing their balls off which ended up being a solid investment because we were going up higher into the mountains during a light snow storm which was admittedly not the best conditions for riding a motorcycle the front view here of my GoPro is basically just about as much as I could see out of my helmet at any given time seeing as how I just got my motorcycle license last year and I've now dealt with 110 plus degree heat a hurricane and now snow I can't imagine what else I could possibly run into going forward I mean I guess God's ill is always a possibility yo that was some crazy man visibility was pretty low that being said the photography gods decided to bless us all with a cool little moment of some grass fed motorcycles crossing into view I like these shots they're pretty moody overall and capture what I feel like a very American spirit speaking of America we eventually came across some more construction as they were rebuilding some mountain roads this was about as far as Tim and Brendan were going to go as they had to make their way back to Albedo Crackey so the other Tim and I were back at it again with each other as we'd slowly make our way to LA over the next couple of days after settling into the hotel and Tim already making me uncomfortable we planned for the rest of the trip ahead the next morning it was time to head into Utah million dollar highway was right there and we couldn't let it go without one last sample it was beautiful and in focus this time anyway with lightning looming out in the distance we trekked forward through Utah hopping from one gas station to another and shooting some superior that I didn't really think turned out that good speaking of gas there is a notorious 100 or so mile stretch in Utah where there is none of it and we didn't really realize it until after the fact Tim was fine and still is fine if you catch my drift but his bike was good too for the mileage mine was cutting it pretty close so I had to use the spare fuel canister which luckily I had already filled up but nonetheless it was an absolutely breathtaking ride through some insanely wild looking geography which I failed in school which isn't really that important I guess for now just take a look at these butts eventually we made it through and wheeled into the first gas station we could find I had probably like 5 to 10 more miles in my tank because ol Rusty is a big ol thirst trap right? thirst trap is anyway we checked into our hotel and Tim was already almost naked again after falling asleep staring at each other the next morning we set our sights on Vegas which would mean crossing the desert and dealing with the heat once again but knowing we'd end up in the sleaziest city on earth it was a quick ride this feels shorter though I think we're going like a hundred bro eventually we made it to Vegas for the next two nights and sadly if you kind of think about it it kind of felt like home away from home say bitch I love you that night after eating White Castle something long dormant awoken me diarrhea and a will to finish off the superior in the minolta these shots are fine the colors on them are popping for sure but I think I could have done them better to be honest this one is probably the best the next morning the sun was peeking through the hotel window and I shot this which is really good slightly motion blurry if you look up close because fp4 is 125 ISO hotel room but I still really like it despite the fact that Tim bundled the pills together to loosely resemble a woman and was making out with them all night which believe me it was hard to sleep through while I didn't get any footage of it that evening we did head out to shoot some more stills out there but this time on black and white where we came across another film photographer my favorite part of this image you ask is perfect framing by Tim anyway all hangovers and stickiness must come to an end and it was time to leave Vegas doing an imitation of a man who's feeling good I can talk a lot like someone who's not misunderstood as a drunk in every graveyard as a ghost in every bar I'm definitely gonna get back on the bike soon and see more of what's out there I'm itching to do it or just itching in general I don't know I was just in Vegas looking back at all this footage threw me into an emotional whirlwind it was so beautiful out there and I miss it it got me yearning for the next one which by the time you see this will be in about two weeks but let's not jump ahead in a couple weeks I'll also be going to Fotopia in Hamburg, Germany so if that's something you're interested in doing with me then the link is in the description but before we wrap up the video for good and we never speak of any of this ever again I'd like to thank today's sponsor the Dark Room if you've ever wondered who develops the film for all my videos then look no further than the Dark Room a professional lab trusted by many big names in the film photography industry to deliver clean design results for any variety of film stocks if you've ever been concerned about getting your film developed not only easily but done the right way by a team that houses decades of industry experience then the Dark Room is the lab for you with a team of professionals using dip and dunk processors paired with the high quality Nuritsu film scanners that algorithmically deliver the film look you can count on them to get the job done and the colors you want to see out of your work don't have time to run down to the nearest lab and wait in line with the Dark Room you just fill out an online form write your order number down drop your roles in the free mailer in your nearest mailbox the rest is taken care of from that point on all you have to do is wait for your scans to come in or your negatives to be returned to you I personally love how easy it is to track my shipment from start to finish and getting the email that my order is uploaded and ready to be viewed makes any day a lot better and that's why I've been using the Dark Room for four or five years now if you have an order of film ready to go head over to thedarkroom.com to get started or simply download the Dark Room app today anyway the photos were great and the overall trip was definitely worth it for the amount of ass that was grinded off my ass cheeks on the bike that long these shots are my favorite but I really think the superior was a standout performer here especially the green stuff in Colorado if I were to change one thing about the trip obviously it would be getting my act together when it came to shooting the infrared stuff I mean a lot of these would have turned out great if I wasn't being so naive but what's the point in dwelling in the past overall the rolly infrared strategy it kind of worked but it also kind of cursed me I now understand what Oppenheimer was going through when he developed the atom bomb what DJ Khaled was going through


A narcissist is an expert at manipulating, lying, and assaulting others with cruel verbal attacks. When you first meet them, they can appear charming. But in reality, they're wholly focused on pleasing themselves by winning the adoration of others. Soon, their masks come off and what shines through are their intense feelings of entitlement and superiority. When they don't get their way, true colors will show. With that said, here are seven things that narcissists absolutely hate. Being told no. Narcissists feel that their wants and feelings are more important than other people's. They hate being told no, regardless of what it is they want you to do. Let's say you're dating a man who likes when women wear dresses every day. You say no to that.  When a narcissist hears no, they respond with anger and will pull out all the stops to get you to do what they want. Bill Eddy from the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego found that when you tell a narcissist no in standard ground, they will become combative and verbally abusive. But you have the right to say no if you don't want to do something no matter how much they hate to hear it. Criticism. Have you ever criticized a narcissist? If so, you have probably felt the sting of their backlash. They hate any form of criticism because it leaves them feeling like they're looked down on. Even if your critical opinions were minor, like not liking the design of their shirt or disagreeing on a movie, they cannot handle criticism. Robert S. Horton from the Department of Psychology at Wabash College found that their anger is more intense when they feel that the person criticizing them holds a higher status than they do. They always feel a need to be reassured that they are the smartest, best-looking, and most talented of everyone. So when you criticize a narcissist, they will become angry. Losing control. Losing control is one of the biggest things that narcissists hate. They need to control everything from the topic of conversation to your life choices. Have you ever been in a relationship or had a friend or family member who was always correcting your decisions and telling you how to feel and act? These narcissists want to control every aspect of your life, and this is all under the guise of just giving their opinion. They don't stop until they're in full control over you. A paper by Sarah Barkley and psychologist Dr. Vera Sarah Pauley explained that a narcissist cannot accept when they lose domination over your life and are no longer in control of your emotions. The more you resist, the angrier they become. After all, they have to be in control and hate to lose it. Others being happy. Narcissists are inherently unhappy and insecure, so they hate to see others happy with their own lives. This can manifest in different ways. When they see others succeeding and reaching personal goals, their insecurity causes them to lash out, sometimes even behind their back.  Researchers at New York University found that insecurity is a driving factor behind narcissism, which is the reason they hate to see others happy. Called out.  Psychologists at the Iowara Health and Medical Research Institute and School of Psychology did a study with 436 participants who were in relationships with people or had relatives that were diagnosed with narcissism. They found that one of the top narcissistic traits was an over-inflated sense of importance. They think they're smarter and superior to everyone else, which includes telling a string of lies about their life. When you correct them on their tall tales, they become angry and will verbally attack you to belittle and criticize your intelligence. Feeling vulnerable. They hate feeling vulnerable and weak, especially if they think others are laughing at them or looking down on them. A study published in Personality and Individual Differences showed that though they enjoy laughing at others, they become furious and insensitive, ordering on cruel to get back at others.  Psychologist Seth Meyers explains that narcissists believe they are deserving of adoration and attention and that others should acknowledge them as extra special and superior. They hate to see someone else become the focus of attention and steal their limelight. A feeling that extends to everyone around them. If a friend or coworker receives accolades from others, they will try to belittle their achievement. This all comes down to the narcissists' need to be the center of attention at all times and how much they hate to lose that feeling. Dealing with narcissistic people can be a challenge, but understanding the behaviors and triggers can help you navigate those interactions more effectively. If you found this video to be helpful, please give it a thumbs up and consider subscribing to our channel for more insightful content. And don't forget to hit the notification bell to stay updated on our latest posts. If you have any experiences or insights on dealing with narcissistic individuals, please share them in the comments below. Your input can help others who may be struggling in similar situations. Thank you for tuning in, and we'll see you in the next video.