It's been announced that Disney Plus is coming to switch actually and a lot of other things Yeah, and PlayStation 4 and Xbox and PC and Roku's and I think Amazon Fire TV is an whole lot that are trying to port it everywhere, right Big news though that it comes a switch because switch doesn't have many streaming services, right? In fact, Hulu is it when it comes to on-demand traditional on-demand and even then Hulu has a live TV aspect so it's also like a live TV thing you can do on on But maybe you know now you think about it. Maybe that's why we have Disney Plus because Disney owns 60% of Hulu. Yeah, so obviously that would make sense They they must be working together. Yeah, I suppose. Yeah, that would make sense. Um, I mean, it's weird too because literally Nintendo announced not too long ago. They have a fourth theme park being built with Universal So it's like they're building theme parks with Universal But they're letting Disney streaming services and nobody else is by the way, we finally let everyone is out with nobody else There's no Amazon. There's no Netflix. Yeah, I'm still no crime. She roll still really confused. We have a YouTube on those and Hulu and now the other Disney one Disney Plus. Yeah, whenever it launches They didn't give it an outstanding release date. Basically, Disney did a kind of a little a little presentation today for Disney Plus And they didn't say when it's coming to just that's coming before the end of the year They said within the year which we assume that means within this year or maybe it means a year after the thing comes out I don't know it'll have every single Disney and Pixar movie I don't know why they had to say and Pixar because Pixar is owned by Disney So I whatever but I think that's because they want to differentiate because it did say all rated our movies would go to Hulu which they only touched on a few others. So that's like where the rated our movies would come from So I think maybe they're just maybe pick maybe think Pixar is such a big deal that it's worth mentioning on it so much a lot of their You know more modern Classic movies are Disney Pixar. Sure. So I mean it it makes the most sense to just all of them Most of them. That's why I said most of them. Most of the ones that people think are good, right? Yeah, there's a lot of Disney movies that come out right but the ones that people like Toy Story coming out like Yeah, that people Pixar I got some Pixar everyone Disney was frozen done by Pixar. I don't think frozen. No, I think frozen was back to their old traditional way You don't think of frozen Disney. Oh My gosh, I'm literally I don't even know this man. We grew up on Disney this man. I Can't believe he needs to Google this right now. Maybe you should Disney this I I'm gonna let the dead air go because I'm in shock. I'm in such shock right now. I'm just dead air in this Yeah, it was only one of the biggest Disney movies to ever come out in the past decade because I know it's the biggest hit They have had for some other reason. I don't know why I had dream works stuck in my head Yeah, it was the biggest animated film they had ever had since like Toy Story one Well, it was yeah, and that is that was straight Disney it wasn't that yeah It wasn't yeah, and that was why it was a big deal because it was a return to their musicals Which they hadn't really been doing right? They don't think basically they stopped ones Pixar came back. Okay. Yeah, we're not doing this anymore like why? Everyone loved nobody stopped loving musicals. Yeah, right. Yeah, I don't know like hello You guys had high school musical and that was awesome Proved that people like musicals. Yeah, like Lion King Everyone likes the news like why did you stop? I don't know don't get me wrong the Pixar stuff is great But you couldn't did both and now you are doing both. Yes. That's awesome. Yes Anyways So yeah, I'm obviously excited For those of you out there that might not care so much about the animated stuff cuz you know Maybe that's more towards your kids or more towards like your you know what you grew up with It's everything so you're talking Star Wars is gonna be on here Yeah, those are all PG-13 and under Marvel's gonna be on here all PG-13 and under They also said they're gonna have at least five new movies in the first year Like exclusive to the service. We don't know what those movies are We're super similar in a Netflix style make something Some of them. I think we do know what that I think there's a couple Marvel movies. They're making that are Non-traditional there's like also gonna be like a show like one show is gonna be about Loki or something like that Interesting. I don't know be cool. There's some stuff. You gotta pay attention to you The the final season of the Clone Wars is gonna be on there. I so I thought they were also doing shows too Yes, yes movies. I'm always is a show. No, no fine. I thought it was five movies and five. Yes. Yes Okay, yes, so I was just saying some of the ones that I remember they announced we're gonna be there So and they'll just expand upon that over time like Netflix said they're they're projecting something bike by 2023-2024 that they'll have something like 94 million people that's their estimates They don't know obviously but they assume that like that's the appeal and that two-thirds of the audience will be overseas. I mean, I Mean and that's not you know Should be surprised the two-thirds of the audience overseas because Hulu isn't overseas Hulu is literally North America exclusive Yeah, I don't know so man. Who knows maybe Disney will be the key to unlocking that overseas, too I don't know maybe there's a lot of copyright laws to work around especially when you've rated our stuff And maybe that's why they keep it off here. Hey, we don't got worry about PG-13 another whole world Right. Yeah for sure. So yeah, I think that's I honestly we've known that the Disney service was gonna come come for a while This is why things like we're getting canceled on Netflix like the Marvel shows that upset some people But yeah, and what sucks is the those specific actors for those characters can never play again So it would have to be whenever the contract expires for those IPs They have to reboot them so that sucks that they couldn't work out something with Netflix to get those characters Because that would have been a big and you know I don't even know if there would have been any money Netflix where it took for that because you know Oh, yeah audience that could go over. Oh, yeah, if you're like, oh, by the way all these shows that we bought and paid for Disney gave us billions and now they have them all. Oh, that's cool Well, we just lost 30 million of our audience right Disney plus. Yeah, which they probably will lose anyway as soon as they're rebooted But yeah, assuming they're good. Yeah, I mean they're good like as the Netflix has a reputation of making good show Now the thing is there's enough money to hire writers away so I Think if you are a writer like a professional script writer out there I think there has to be more jobs now and there's ever been. Oh, yeah I wouldn't spread. I mean it was used to just be Hollywood. Yeah, you need to be on cable TV or writing movies. Yeah Occasionally you can get lucky you don't get a job writing some stuff for Broadway, but that was always on the lesser And now it's like no Everywhere is making exclusive shows and movies. So like there's more jobs than ever. Mm-hmm. So yeah I guess it's maybe a good field to get into now But as journalism goes away if you could pull one of the comes fictional writing right right if you could pull in one of the the producers and or big-time writers of those Netflix shows and kind of get the same feel I don't know, but I don't think they want to do that because remember this is called Disney plus I think the first thing they're going to do is take one of their own big-name people and have them work on possibly Yeah, because they as awesome as Netflix is Netflix has kind of an edge to it, right? They did with their content feels HBO like Yeah, and HBO movies HBO shows are some of the best around. I mean heck game of thrones We had the final season Episode one just landed yesterday by the time. This is public and That's you know, that that's a massive Like way more expensive than just an individual movie to make a whole season a game of thrones but it pulls in such a huge audience and That's what I was a Netflix shows and that's why so many of them can afford big budgets And I don't know that Disney wants to go that far. We'll see Yeah, but Disney art because I remember Disney has Like they had the Disney Channel and Disney Junior.  I wasn't saying I wasn't saying like movies. I was saying for like the shows, but even that like I Don't know. I guess it's just wait and see because we don't know we haven't never done. I mean, we don't know I'm just excited to get all of my You know childhood. Yeah in one spot pretty much by the way guys. It's only 699 a month. Oh, yeah, that's right Disney. Yeah Decided to price this super competitive It's basically cheaper than getting HBO and also if you do the yearly Yeah, it's even cheaper. It's like five five eighty three or something for like for like 70 bucks a year It's an insanely good deal if you like Disney's content Yeah, and you want it available everywhere without having to pop in DVDs and movies There's no reason not to have this especially if you love Marvel and Star Wars everywhere It'll be interesting all the new movies will get added to it after a short period of time Like, you know, hit the movie theaters and then like and game and games probably gonna be their day one. Yeah possibly so Yeah, I mean it'd be interesting to see if they do like the download stuff like they are they're letting you download it Nice, they know they announced that from day one You'll be able to download everything you won't have to cuz it won't be fantastic Netflix lets you do it if you had a certain subscription level But they didn't let you do it right away at Disney's like now We're doing it or you're having a buffering problem. Just download it. Yeah come back in like a half hour. Yeah Um, I mean that'd be because that'd be awesome You know you will going back going to E3 and stuff, you know, if there's no good movies on the plane Well, I don't it's not gonna watch it's not gonna watch for you No, I know but I bet you won't be to the entity, but actually yeah Yeah, if you want to travel in somewhere and they don't know but here's the things we always fly Delta I know they got and they have like literally movies that are still in theaters. Yeah, pretty close. Yeah, so I know So like unless I've literally seen everything in theaters. I'd rather watch that than something. I get it I get it, but it is better than hotel room. I mean heck sometimes they have Disney's For how much you pay for flights a better be yeah, right? Actually flights are they've come down they used to be way more expensive and then they came down probably because they're just trying To get more people to fly So yeah, I mean I come into switches a big deal because which doesn't have a lot of streaming services But because which has Hulu, it's probably not as surprising It is it is interesting how our Nintendo successfully working with Disney and Universal at the same time, right? But again, it's on different avenues I mean Universal's doing movies and theme parks for them and there's like hey look Universal doesn't have streaming services So why do we care? Right? So maybe that's maybe the additional Right exactly and maybe that's exactly maybe that's why Netflix isn't there Maybe because there is some universal stuff on Netflix. Maybe yeah We never thought about that now now we think we'll have two Disney streaming services But nothing for anybody else besides YouTube. That's a bipartisan, you know, right and there's not oh I suppose there is movies on there. There is but they're but they're yeah, it's different, right? So I don't know I think it's interesting And the fact that it's that before it even comes out. It's already announced for switches just kind of like, huh? I never would have thought that, you know a Non-existent streaming service would come to the switch before Netflix. I Mean, I honestly think as I said, there's something going on There's something about this deal with Hulu that is preventing these things from coming That we're not getting Netflix not getting I I wonder if there was a backdoor Chuck Checkup by Disney. We're like, hey look, we know you work with you know, like whatever we don't care. We want we want Streaming services that are about modern-day movies and stuff and shows exclusive to us And then that's probably need YouTube right away either and then Nintendo kind of a hey Like we put we put our internal directs on YouTube stuff. I mean, right and then it's like yeah It's a YouTube side. We put some on YouTube, too, right? So we should be able to watch our latest trailers go to YouTube, right? Yeah, yeah so so That's how maybe how YouTube got around it and you wonder if twitch might be able to get around it But then if twitch comes Amazon's gonna want to bring Amazon Prime in Disney's like hell. No, yeah How long before this?  Yeah, one's surprised me You get on Amazon. We can't even buy it anymore on Amazon. You have to go to Disney really won't surprise me Which they did say that we're gonna offer services to buy it though, right? Except for the fact that if you've already bought the thing so well, yeah, yeah, they usually don't they usually don't pull it back You've already bought it, right, but uh Okay, I lost my question It's okay. I Just think it's crazy that we're getting it. I think it's good news for I mean any any additional streaming service at this point For switch owners is good news We don't have anything else coming nothing else announced so cool Right, I thought of my question so why is it then that it the whole back-and-forth between Nintendo and Netflix?  Yeah, I think it's no one wants to burn bridges Because you know even if there wasn't a backroom deal because I'm still speculating But even if there wasn't like if there wasn't then something's going on with contract negotiations And no one wants to say anything if there was a backdoor deal then neither company with the same name because it might make the other company look bad and You know that might sour future relations on future, you know because the contract will probably wouldn't be forever So you're right and the thing is Disney plus is on everything So I don't really know why they would be like oh, but on switch, you know You can't have like why every other thing you're on has Netflix and everything so right it's weird Yeah, I don't know what's going on with streaming services. All I know is we have another one to add to the list at the end of the year I mean fantastic Cool and it's cheap Yeah, I mean Collectively if you want to watch more than Disney then you have another streaming service another streaming service by the time you're actually paying More than you ever paid for cable so I understand Some people are getting sick of these streaming services because there's getting so many of them that by the time you have everything You actually want to watch you are already spending like a hundred bucks a month. I get it. Yeah, trust me I have Hulu which includes my streaming TV and that's like 40 bucks a month I have Netflix which is well to keep up in the price. It's like 15 bucks a month now So now I'm up to 55 add this in here. I'm up 60 and I can have internet and cable from charter for 60 So, yeah No, granted. I don't get all the content like a half a year And and and this is on top of the fact that through Amazon I'm paying for HBO stars and now Nickelodeon because Hulu doesn't have Nickelodeon and Hulu is addicted to SpongeBob. Thank God. It's like a dollar a month. So it's not a huge deal. But still Anyways, yeah


I Ready for the intro mom Intro to the video. Yes, let me finish this Santa Monica, right? Hello everyone welcome back to my channel.  If you really want her to love you comment missy down below in the comments down below Or yeah, our mouth revamping her Instagram this weekend, so I'll also have that linked down below My mom is in town visiting me I drink a lot of caffeine and not enough food, and I'm very jittery Anyways, we are back with another highly requested video You guys love my mom and my dad in the videos my parents are divorced though So don't you guys worry my mom flies out Sunday afternoon. My dad flies in Sunday night Sounds just about right so he'll be back as well We didn't I didn't plan out anything for this video at all your favorite thing about me Let's pause for a minute. Let me think about this. Let's pause for a minute everyone I need to get in the van. People are so rude here. Okay. Anyways, mom. Do you have anything?   Do you want to drive my car beach?  Sure We're ST which was poorly playing cuz you can't really see it But my limited edition shirts are available for the month of June. Check them out link down below So there's no backup camera in this car.  Do a chai latte with coconut milk. I do that to actually Terrifying very terrifying. You really do end up being your parents guys. I've really been fighting in my whole life But it just happens Wow, I'm trying to think of any lingo that's been Do you know what bet means bet bet? No, like alright, but no, I mean like that Favorite thing about me probably your drive your ambition Maybe there's more it's me than just how I want to work mom everyone says this I gotta go deeper Yeah, you have to think of something on your care and compassion for others. Thank you. That's why I want people to say My childhood, okay, don't know this song which there's literally no other you would know this song Jojo you and it would play Jojo for us every day number more like in seeing I Take it to see Justin Timberlake didn't go what a mistake, you know, I was in pain to miss Yeah, you have to be in severe pain like borderline hospitalized ridiculous Oh, not how bad Justin Timberlake is so hot I don't know how he does but he does it so congrats to him What's your favorite things our favorite thing to do in Texas my favorite thing to do just in general though I'm a real homebody is just hang out at home It's really what we do like we entertain a lot. Yeah, I mean people over a lot. That's pretty much it favorite thing about each other You're very forgiving Listen, this is why I say this to Jojo all the time. I have like in my mind I have like like I'm split 5050 like half of me wants to like live on a farm In a town of 50 people where everyone knows everyone and you walk everywhere and you just know everyone Everyone's super close tighten it no cell phones I would love that the other half of me wants to like have five houses and like build an empire and do all this other stuff But I wish if I didn't have the drive that I have I genuinely would live the first life Like I really would still love to do that, but some people that's just what they want and I don't blame them It makes sense. He used to not make sense to me I used to really not understand it but now I really understand that it sounds amazing So you need to just you have the five houses you live the empower, but you also build your empire But then you also have a house in this little place where you can just go Yeah, take a few weeks off and just yeah, and I need them to not have like internet So they have no idea and I just go and they think that I just like have a house there or something Or I'll tell Tim.  Can we just go? You've always said that though.  Oh, no, I wasn't mistreated, but I it's still really one of the books She broke my heart about that and my mom broke my heart that she never let me go see What was Prince's made purple rain? Very surreal your first child to be 21 really gonna legally drink with you Joy trying to make my backyard like a little oasis She bought a boot up obsessed with them. She's very yeah, like I see him out the window from my family room And I'm like look at my food. I love him. She's like, I can't wait to you come home and see my new backyard I know I'll be on and I planted um Yasmin the stuff that we kept walking by and smelling this morning She's like never been like this before in her life like we this has never been a thing I don't know where this is coming from. I don't know where it came from either. I don't know.  We're not gonna you're not you're gonna edit that out Well, that's a compliment. Okay.  Oh my gosh guys guys This is funny warning flags warning flags thirsty being desperate for something down in the DM short for plans in their social media or text for an oncoming sexual hookup down in I Want to die? Netflix and chill making out or sex NIFOC Literally, I've never heard this one before in my life Nate it's acronym for naked in front of their computer Nine is short for a parent is watching guys. No one does this You should really watch Cody's text. Okay, so that is it for our drive with me. I hope you guys enjoyed I'm awesome vlogging check out the vlogs in this channel check out the limited edition merch That will be linked down below. Hope you guys enjoyed this video and I'll see you soon And I'll have my mom's Instagram link down below


The next speaker is a close friend and a co-coach with him at the Social Man. He's been there since its founding, his name is Nick Sparks, and he's a returning speaker to the 2011 convention.  Thank you for coming. Thank you, man. I appreciate it. Give another obligatory round of applause for Anthony for, I mean, this seriously is an amazing event. And I appreciate being asked to come back here. I definitely appreciate it a lot. So thank you guys for having me. Also congratulations to yourself, of course, as I'm sure you've heard more than once. Not every single person actually has the courage to stand up and make a change in their life. Everybody's got issues. Everybody's got problems, but very few people actually do something about it. So awesome on one hand. Also another reason to be, you know, congratulate yourselves is that this has been going on for what now? Like five hours so far today, multiple hours yesterday, yeah, six hours perhaps. I don't know if I could pay attention or focus on anything for that long. So the simple fact that you're able to do that deserves its own round of applause as well. It's interesting though. Kind of like an analogy I would use is actually listening to a woman as Fran was talking about up here earlier. It can be difficult sometimes, just like it's difficult to actually focus on hour after hour after hour after hour of guys talking. Why? Because well, in this case, you're tired.   It can be hard to actually listen and pay attention in that case without thinking a million different thoughts at the same time. So it can draw a little analogy between what you're doing right now, the actual focusing skills it takes, and talking to a girl. It's not really part of my speech, but I just thought of that. So why am I here? What am I doing standing here? I'm not going to talk about who I am. I mean, who really cares, honestly? Well, it started about 27 years ago when my mother gave birth to me. No, nobody really cares. I want to talk about why I'm here, though, because that's the important part. That's what actually matters. What am I doing here? Why am I standing in front of you? Exactly. I don't know. I mean, the obvious thought is that I'm standing here because you guys want to learn to get better at talking to girls. It's the obvious one. However, that's not why I'm here. I mean, yes, I'm a dating coach for a living. It's what I do, but that's really at the root of it, not why I'm here. It may be a symptom of why I'm actually standing here, why you guys are all sitting in the room right here, but it's not why I'm standing up here. The reason why I'm up here and the reason why you guys are all sitting in those seats right now is that, bear with me, because I'm going to explain myself, is that we are living in a society that's been dominated by fear. Sounds a little kooky. Let me explain myself.  We live in a society. We live in a world, country, culture, whatever you want that's been dominated by fear. Why do I say that? Why do I make such a broad, sweeping, general statement like that? Reason being is that, look at dating in our culture.  How should it be? If there wasn't any fear involved, what would happen? You'd be out someplace, maybe at a coffee shop, maybe at a bar, maybe walking down the street. You see a girl that you're attracted to. You see a girl that you like.  I'd like to get to know you more. And the girl thinks to herself for a second, either, yeah, you seem all right, too. I'd like to get to know you better. And you guys start talking and get to know each other better and decide if you want to make babies or not. Or she decides, I don't feel the same way. No offense, maybe, you know, I've got a lot on my mind. It's just not a good time for me. It's just not going to work out. And you say, I completely understand. No harm, no foul. And you just simply walk down to the next girl that you see that tickles your interest, say the same thing to her. And she decides, makes the decision. Easy, simple, the way it should be. Almost too easy. Why can't it be that way? Why? Because there's fear everywhere. When you're walking up, your mind is racing. Oh my god. So what should I say? What is she going to reject me? Is she not going to reject me? What is she going to think about this right now? Is anybody else going to see me get rejected? You're trying to make a conversation happen. And it's like, OK, what do I say? What do I say? What do I say? How do I do this? I want to do this, but I'm not sure. I'm going to get rejected here. And you're not the only one feeling fear.  She's got to be worrying the entire time, too. Is this guy a douchebag? Is this guy an asshole? Is this guy going to break my heart the way the last guy did?  I don't know. Somebody might think that. Maybe not. Maybe it's just me.  How do I look? Do I look prettier than other girls here? Does my hair look OK today?  Fear. Everywhere. And you all know exactly what I'm talking about, because you've all felt it. You wouldn't be sitting right here if you didn't feel it, especially in relation to women. It's that feeling in your chest. Kind of creeps up. It feels really shitty. Fear, anxiety, doubt. And it sets off negative thoughts. It sets off self-defeating thoughts and actions. Happens to everybody. It happens all the time. It happens when you're trying to talk to a girl. Happens maybe at work, maybe at school, all over your life. You have pressure on something. You get that shitty feeling. And what happens? We've developed in our society a ton of ways of dealing with it, of making it go away, of avoiding it. What do we do? I don't know. We have another drink. Maybe we smoke. Maybe we go on our computer and just watch mindless things to avoid doing something that we don't really want to do. I really like the blue screen Anthony. What are you doing? Either way, we maybe pull out our phone and just stare at our phone. Do we really need to check our phone? But no, why? Because it's easier. It's comfortable.   There's a million different things you could be doing.  It feels like you want to get this far away from it as possible. And it's everywhere in our lives. We've got a million ways to avoid it. We've got no real way to stand up to it. It's just there. It's something we deal with every single day.  That's why I'm here. That's why I'm standing in front of you guys right now. Because it's my job, beyond all other things, to teach you to break through it, to stand up to it, to overcome it when it happens in your life in relation to women. And coincidentally, as you gain confidence from that, it affects every other part of your life where this has happened. It's a skill. It's a talent. And what's the root of this? How do I do it at the very core? What's the magic? I say a couple of magic words, and it's gone. No. The way that I do this is basically based on a very simple foundational principle. And of course, there's more specifics. And I'm going to get into more specifics. But it's based on something very simple. It's based on the fact that when you feel like crap, your body goes through a very significant, very powerful physiological change. It's eeks out of every pore of your body. Every single muscle in your body is a slave to this feeling. And when you feel great, when you're feeling on top of the world, when you are feeling amazing, your entire body, your entire physiology, is affected by it.  That's why you've each had times when sometimes you're just on. You can't explain it, but you can go up and talk to any girl you want to. Everything's just rolling. You get in the zone. Women are loving you. Things are going great. Maybe it was in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. Maybe it was a night when you drank a little bit too much, but you can't put your finger on exactly what was going on, but you were just feeling it and you were amazing. You all have the potential inside of you. It's you at your core. It's not a figment of your imagination that was doing that. That's who you are.  That's why we have expressions out there like, he's really coming out of his shell.  He's really opening up. That's what those expressions mean. Quite literally. And this physiological change that occurs is very significant because everyone else around you is aware of it. Maybe they're not thinking. They're not thinking about the stuff the way I do. They're not conscious of every little shift that happens, but they can feel it. Especially women are very, very intuitive, as we all know. They can tell from a mile away how you're feeling and unfortunately, feelings are contagious. Nobody wants to feel shitty, right? I mean, that's pretty universal. Nobody likes feeling shitty. So when you're feeling shitty, when you're feeling anxious, your body is giving off all the signs that you're feeling anxious.     Are you feeling all right? However, when you're feeling great and your whole body is wreaking that, maybe it's when you're around your very best friends and you're having a great time and you're comfortable.  You can be yourself around and your whole body is radiating that. You're feeling good, feelings being contagious. Everybody wants to feel good.  So here's the linchpin of it all. Is that if it were the case that whenever you're feeling shitty, you always radiate shittiness. Oh, Erica. Whenever you're feeling great, you're always radiating these positive energy. Then my advice to you today right now would be simple. I would simply say, well, when you feel good, go out and talk to people. When you feel crappy, lock yourself in the house. Don't talk to anyone. Thank you guys. It's been my pleasure to be here today. Unfortunately, that would be awful advice. Wouldn't be very good advice at all. And luckily, there's something that we can do about this little dynamic. There's something that we can do to turn it on its head, so to speak. Your physiology will always follow your feelings except for one situation where it doesn't. There's one time and one time only where your physiology will not follow your feelings. And that one time and one time only is when you consciously focus on your physiology. On your physiology. A mentor of mine gave me very wise words one time.  Probably some of the most profound words I've ever heard in my life. And it resonates through everything. You don't feel like going to the gym. You don't feel like working out. You feel tired. I don't feel like working out. So you don't work out and you feel even crappier.   I'm going to do it anyway. I swore too much last year. I didn't wanna do it again this year. I'm gonna do it anyway. So you go to the gym, you work out, you get your blood flowing, the endorphins start going, and all of a sudden what happens? You feel great afterwards. Man, I always feel amazing after my workout. I should do it more.  And the same thing can happen with that physiology that we talked about.   However, just like I can focus on pointing my finger, retracting my finger, raising my right leg with poor balance, lowering my right leg, I can always control my physiology. You can always take action. I mean, that's the secret to life. Free will, the greatest gift we could ever have. We could always control our actions. And so what are some of those actions? What are some of those differences that happen between when we're feeling amazing and when we're feeling closed off?  Very first thing that happens is our heart starts to beat faster. Makes sense? As our heart beats faster, it causes our breathing to be affected by it. We start breathing quicker and we start breathing a lot more shallow. We basically breathe only as deeply as it'll take to keep us alive. Quick, show slow, quick, shallow breaths. Because we're breathing quicker and shallower, we start talking more quickly. And because not a lot of air is passing over our vocal cords, our voice becomes very weak. Comes from our throat. And as the air is rushing over faster, we speak a little bit higher. Now anybody would tell you, of course, that talking like that is always really sexy to women, obviously. Everybody knows that, if you've been studying those stuff. Erica knows.   And all of your muscles go very, very tense. Your shoulders get pulled forward and up slightly. It puts a lot of pressure on your chest and on your neck, which is why people who are stressed out a lot often need massages and carry a lot of tension in their shoulders and in their neck. Your back arches forward ever so slightly. And it's not just the upper body that grows tight as well, but your lower body.  You become kind of like a statue of Mr. Burns from The Simpsons. I mean, the cartoonist did a good job of drawing what the most uncomfortable body posture could possibly look like. That's not even the most dramatic change that happens though.  First it starts with the eyes. Because your thoughts are going a million miles a minute, your eyes are darting around all over the place.  It's like you're looking at a million things, but you're really not looking at anything. It's like I'm looking at all of you, but I'm really not seeing, I couldn't tell you a single thing about any one of you right now, they're just darting. And the most dramatic thing happens is that my face just starts to lack all expression. It just becomes dead. It becomes a mask. It's like I'm not even there. And if you've ever seen a newspaper where it said man, murder is 15 people, and they show a picture of the guy's face, it looks empty. It looks soulless. It looks lifeless. You know anyone who's ever been addicted to hardcore drugs, heroin, crystal meth? Crack cocaine. Then it's what their face looks like. They're not even there. It's like their body's here, but their soul isn't even present. And so I'm not saying that when you feel like this, that you look like a mass murderer or a crackhead, but I'm saying you look a lot closer to this than when you're feeling good. And the signals you're giving off to people, I mean people tell me that, oh Nick's just a good looking guy, that's why it gets girls. But if I looked like this when I was trying to talk to girls, do you think any women in the world would be attracted to me? Probably not. Or maybe a couple, but I don't really want them. So now what happens when you're feeling good? Exactly the opposite. Your heart starts beating more slowly. As your heart starts beating more slowly, you start taking deeper, slower breaths. Oh, thank God.  As you're taking those deeper, slower breaths, it affects your voice. You start speaking more slowly. Start speaking a little bit more deeply. And because you have more air rushing out over your vocal cords, you don't even have to try to yell, but you start speaking with more strength, more power, more volume.    Your back straightens. Releasing all that tension from your chest and your neck. Your lower body loosens up too. And this is important because your hips are really where your sexuality's at. If your hips are tight, I mean eye contact is number one, of course. But if your hips are tight, a woman's not gonna be feeling any sexuality. You look at the video I did last year where I demonstrated physical escalation and my hips were very much on a swivel. I mean, I like to rub my crotch against girls quite a bit when I talk to them. And it all comes from having nice, smooth hips. I like to lead with my hips when I'm moving, when I'm feeling nice and sexy.  So your weight shifts nicely and slowly from one foot to the other. Not quickly, but just kind of like warm honey. Moving nice and smoothly back and forth. Oh yeah.  Your mind slows down so your eyes start to focus on one thing at a time. You take in everything, every little detail. You pay attention. It's like Sherlock Holmes when he surveys a room. Takes in every little detail of what's happening around him. And most dramatically is in the expression in your face. All of a sudden, your face booms with expression. Doesn't matter what you're talking about. You're not talking about it with your words. You're talking about it with your entire body so that somebody who couldn't even hear your words can feel what you're saying. If you're not communicating like that, you're not communicating. And so you can always control these things. You can always control your physical body at any second she wants to. And I'll tell you the three most common times in relations to women. And I see this time and time again from working with guys. The three most common areas where a guy freezes up and tenses up. And he's not even aware of it. I have to watch it and tell him about it. Yo, you're closed. Open yourself up. Three most common times when he's going to approach a girl those first five seconds, when he's trying to make a conversation happen, what do I say, what do I say, what do I say? And when a girl is showing them that they like him and he knows deep down that he has to escalate, oh, God, what do I do? What do I do? I talked about last year, you just have to do it. It's those three times when a guy freezes up unbeknownst to him. And the second that his body goes tight, the second that he gets to look in his eyes, cat food in the trunk, she is going to immediately drop her attention. She is going to immediately lose all interest period. So that's the biggest part. That's the 20% that does 80% of the work. If you're doing that, you're going to have a lot of success with women period. If you're just controlling your body, making sure when you're talking to them, you're looking at them focused, open, communication, it's going to get there. I mean, luckily, that's not our only advice either, but it's the big part of it. So with that in mind, with that as being the most important thing to always focus on, I want to talk about some of my best stuff for getting through some of those rough spots, some of the biggest things out there. Let's start with the approach. Let's start with the first area that really causes guys to freeze up and tense up and get nervous. Going up and saying hi goes up. Usually, a guy will keep a little too much of a distance. Hey, hey, keep a nice distance. So what's the most important thing about approaching? If there's one skill that I would say is most important to approaching, what would that be? Beyond a shadow of a doubt, I would say that it is observation. Observation. And not just for the use of situational openers. Not just to be able to say, oh, you have a dragon on your shirt. How cool is that? Are those silly bands? I love those. By the way, OK, quick tip. Get some silly bands if you don't have them. Seriously. They're amazing, first of all. Girls love them.  Yeah, I know. And oh, what do you have? I don't know. What do you have? Oh, my god. It's the easiest way to start a conversation with girls.  Ridiculously easy. Anyway, anyway, beside the point, beside the point. Number one is observation. Not just for situational openers, but because a girl will be telling you subconsciously whether she wants you to approach her or not. How does she do that? What are the signals? It's really obvious when you think about all the stuff that I just went over. Because this being more open, being more closed, physiology, it doesn't just apply to you and to me and to you and you and you. It doesn't just apply to the guy sitting in this room.   Everybody's got fears, anxieties, doubts. Women, maybe even more so with men.  And so you can look at any woman out there, any woman you see tonight. You can look at her. And you can look at exactly the stuff that we just went over.  How loud is she speaking? How much animation does she have in her body? How much is she focussely looking around versus how much is she just closing herself off and looking away, keeping to her friends, keeping to the bar?  Maybe she has just had a really bad week at work. Maybe she has gotten to a fight with her friend.  Maybe things just rolled out of the wrong side of the bed. If she's sending off those signals and you try to talk to her, now unless you're feeling incredible, unless you're on top of the world and feeling amazing, open as possible, she's probably going to give you a negative reaction.  You don't want to deal with anything. You want to be kept to yourself.  I'm good. Leave me alone. You don't want to deal with that. And just like you're going to see tonight, when there's girls who are feeling good, who are feeling open, who are signaling to everyone in the world, even though they don't even realize they're doing it, that they feel amazing, looking around, smiling, moving around, doing that like loud girl laugh that girls sometimes do. And we're like, why is she laughing so loudly and obnoxiously? She's signaling to every single guy, hey, I feel good. I feel sexy. Come talk to me, please. And if you go and talk to that girl, as long as you're not just reeking of closeness and discomfort and, I don't know, a stack of, I don't know, as long as you're not just radiating that you're very, very close, she is going to give you a positive response. She is going to light up a little story just to highlight this. I was working with some guys, Bar in New York City, and corner of the bar, there were three girls, by far the most attractive girls at the bar, hands down. Every other guy there saw them. Every other guy there noticed them. One of my guys says, man, I want to go talk to those girls. So we observed them for a little bit, observation.  They were all circled tight together, frowns on their faces. And I said, not yet. Not yet. Because the thing about all of this is that if a girl is closed to start out, she's not going to stay that way. Some girls are.  But most girls, most people, what happens? They spend a little bit of time at the bar. They start having fun with their friends. They start to loosen up a little bit. Maybe she has another drink. Maybe a song comes on that she really likes. Maybe she starts getting, talking to some good friends, and they have some laughs. People will open up over time. You just give them a couple minutes, depending on the circumstances. So this guy said, I want to go approach them. I said, not yet. Not yet. And sure enough, we watched some other guy saw the exact same girl, just like all the rest of the guys did. He used the one guy who had the balls to approach him first. So he walked up, and I said, give him 15 seconds. Girls will be rejecting him. Sure enough, about 12 seconds later, he was walking away with his head down. The girls were closing in the ranks. And every other guy saw that. And I mean, no harm, no foul to that guy.  Props to him. Cheers to him. All the respect in the world. But all the other guys were watching, and I'm like, I'm not going to go talk to those girls.  But me and my guys continue to observe. We continue to keep an eye on them. And sure enough, because those guys, because that one guy went and talked to them, they started to loosen up a little bit. Maybe they said to themselves, you know what? We came out to the bar to have fun. Maybe we shouldn't be so stiff. Maybe we should have a little bit more fun. Maybe that guy kicked something loose inside of them. And they started to smile more. They started to laugh more. They started to turn out more. They started to look around a little bit more. So I said to my guy, OK, now, go. Perfect. Talk to him now. And he went up, made sure that we'd already gone over, open, close. I made sure he was expressive, eyeing, moving the body around nice and loosely. He went up and go and talked to them, simple line. I think it was something just like, guys look like you're having a great time. I had to come say hi. Nothing to it. And sure enough, the girls blew wide open. They were all laughing. They were all touching him. They were all like, you know, he was part of the circle. And every other guy in there was looking at him like, oh my god, this guy is some kind of master. This guy is, oh my, I want to learn from him. He is, he knows something that I don't. He, what is he doing? What did he say? No secret to it. No secret to it. Observation, paying attention, not just having the gear spin a million miles an hour up here. Focused, watching, observing. Most important thing when it comes to opening, by far. Five minutes, really?  OK, really, really quickly, I want to give you something for conversation, something for that, you're in a conversation, things are going, that'll change your life and every conversation you'll ever have. I don't say that lightly. Conversations, even as Fran was talking about earlier, they always tend to happen where the guy talks way too much. Way too much. Girls love to talk, right? We all know that. We've all heard it before. Girls love to talk. Why is it that we seem to be dominating the conversation a lot when we're talking? Well, because we're nervous. Well, because we don't want to lose the conversation. We're afraid that if we keep quiet for too long that things are going to drop. What? Oh, that was a question?  Oh, I'll slow down, then. What's that? I don't know what you were trying to say, but you said five minutes. Oh, yeah, yeah, I was like, hold on. Questions at the end. I'll save a couple of minutes. Oh, jeez. It happens. It was fun. All right. What am I supposed to do with this, Anthony? What am I? OK, so we're a conversation. Change your life. Guys talk way too much when it comes to conversation. So they're afraid that if they stop talking, if there's any silence, the girl's going to lose interest. So they have to keep her attention. That is some of the most self-destructive thinking that you can possibly be doing. You really should not be talking that much. It's the truth. Girls really do like to talk. So what's a technique that you can keep in mind to swing things back in your favor? Everything that I teach, all the techniques, I use they're simple as possible. They're very, very, very simple. And why? Because when you're nervous, when you're going haywire, I want to give you just a simple objective that you can focus on, concentrate on, and do that's going to have the most positive result. Why? Because everything that I teach is very simple. But at the same time, it's very difficult. Why is it very difficult? Because you're actually looking that fear. You're looking that anxiety. You're looking that doubt right in the eye. And you're stepping through it. You're not trying to circumvent it. You're not trying to look around it. You're overcoming it. So the simple thing to focus on when you're in those situations, you're talking, and you just want to do one thing, I like to call it the buffer. It's beautiful. Why? How do most conversations go that a lot of guys have? A lot of guys that I work with, how do their conversations go while they start the conversation? Because that's what a guy does. He says something, and then she says something. And then he says something, and then she says something. And then he says something, and then she says something. And then he says something. Maybe she doesn't always say something. So he says something again. And then she says something, and then he says something. She says something, and he says something. Back forth, back forth. And sometimes, if there's a silence, he'll say something to try to get her back into it. Has this happened to anyone? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? How would my conversations look? And especially in those first five or 10 minutes when you're not sure.  But it's always in a time when you don't really know each other, and you want her to be more into you, and you're not sure how it's going to go yet, and you're trying probably way too hard. How do my conversations look at that time? Well, of course. I say something first. I'm the guy. More often than that, unless I'm wearing silly bands, and she starts a conversation with me. I say something first, and then, of course, she's going to say something. More often than not, she's going to respond. And then I pause. Silence is your most powerful verbal weapon. I know that doesn't exactly make sense on a literal level, because silence isn't verbal. But silence is your most powerful verbal weapon. Because when there's silences in the conversation, if you rush to fill those, you're trying too hard, period. She will lose interest, because at that moment, you are trying way too hard. And for what? You don't know this girl. She feels awkward in her dress. She's having a bad hair day. Why are you trying so hard? She's not up on this pedestal.   So when there's that silence there, if you rush to fill that gap, trying way too hard. If all of a sudden, she fills that gap, all of a sudden, things are starting to work the way they're supposed to. All of a sudden, you can get a smile on your face. When a girl says, so, and goes to continue the conversation at that silence, I'm like, ding, OK. She's interested in me. This is clear sailing from now. I can have fun. I can enjoy this conversation. I get to know this person. So she says something. I pause. And this is a good time to actually think about what she's saying. Most guys are thinking about what she's saying as she's saying it, so they can come up with a clever line right off the bat. Most guys want to have that witty response as soon as she's done talking.  That's how it is in movies sometimes. So we think that's how we should talk. It's not the guys that she wets herself over talks. Guys that she wets herself over in a good way, of course. They actually pause. They reflect upon. They think about for a second. And then after I'm done pausing for a second, I don't say what I'm going to say just yet. Oh, no. Here's the part that changes everything. I buffer. So beautiful. What is a buffer? A buffer is a statement that builds a little bit more anticipation for what you're going to say next, but that also could prompt her to talk more. It's beautiful. It's amazing. So what are some examples of buffers that I use? The one I use constantly, the one that I use all the time, is really, really, really, really. You ever hear me talk to a girl? I will say, really, no less than 1,000 times. I kid you not. My girlfriend got pissed at me one time, actually, because we share a bed. And this was like early in the morning. I was still sleeping. She had woken up. And apparently, I was flirting in my sleep. I was buffering in my sleep, apparently, because she looks over and she told me the story. I just had this big smile on my face. And I was just like, really? That is so interesting.   It's the best. I say really 1,000 times, really? That is so interesting, I might say. Or I might say, is that right? Is that right? Is that so? Really? You don't say. You know what's funny about that? You know what is so interesting about that? Really? I can't believe you would say that. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Now, hold on for a second. Buffers, they're magical. And why are they so magical? One, it builds up anticipation for whatever you're going to say next. You throw out a buffer, and all of a sudden she's like, what's so interesting? What's so funny? Really what? Tell me. I want to know. Please, do not leave me hanging like this. And the other thing is, oftentimes, it gives her that prompt to do what she has been dying to do the entire time, which is talk more. So oftentimes, I don't have to say anything. She'll say something, I'll pause. I'll buffer, really? And she'll be like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Go on for more. And I'll say, is that right? And she'll be like, yeah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'll say now, wait a minute. And she'll be like, what, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You should never, ever, ever run out of things to say. One, because you're not rushing to say everything that you have in one bolt. And two, I mean, for every one thing a woman says, you have things that click in your head that they remind you of that you could say in response. But if you just throw out a little buffer, really? Pause again. You have to pause again after the buffer. And then she starts talking again. All of a sudden, you've got a million more things that you could say based off that new slew of stuff that she just threw at you. And you can say anything off of that thing that she just threw out. Or you can say anything off of the first thing she just threw out. And maybe you buffer again. And she throws out another like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And you've got a whole new slew of material that you can talk about, that you can vibe off of, that you can use if you're paying attention, if you're listening. Buffers. They're the most beautiful thing in the world. And if you concentrate, focus. You do them anyway. Everything that I teach, it's intuitive. It's all the shit that you do when you're just hanging out with your friends, when you're relaxed, when you're not worried about what to say, when you're not trying to impress her, when you're not thinking about what you should do. It's what you do naturally. And if you focus on taking the actions that you do when you're feeling good, your feelings will follow. Just like when they say, when you're feeling anxious, just take some deep breaths. I didn't make that up, that's for sure. But everything else that I have is kind of based off that exact same principle. Buffer, focus on it. And girls are just talking, talking, talking. You're like, is this really this easy? Really? You should be talking to the minimum of the time, every time. If you're not, you're doing something wrong. Now once again, once she starts opening up and starts, you guys start laughing and you guys start having a good time together and you're not thinking about shit, then, I mean, you do whatever you want. Don't worry about anything. But in that interim, that pre-things when things are a little rocky, buffer. How much time do I have left? 15, I thought that was six. 15, 20, okay, what do I want to talk about? I'll talk about painting a picture. Painting a picture. Another conversation technique. That's really the part where a lot of guys get caught the most. A lot of guys can approach, sometimes get good responses. I mean, a lot of times when guys have girls that are laughing, looking at them, basically throwing themselves at them, like it's nervous, you have to escalate. You have to do some of this stuff physically that I talked about last time. You have to take action there. You have to pound on the keys. But, I mean, getting good at that escalation part, when you have girls that are lighting up and you're having a good time with, I mean, that can be tricky. That can be some fear to fight through, but that's a labor of love. That's the most fun you'll ever have. But consistently getting there time and time again so that you have those opportunities to ask. That can be the part where a lot of guys get caught up. So, on top of buffering, what do you do while you're pausing and while you're buffering to give yourself a little extra time to give yourself more ammunition, whatever you wanna call it? What you're doing and what you do naturally when you're just having a conversation is you're doing what we like to call painting a picture. What painting a picture is, is when a girl says something, when you're feeling nervous and you're thinking about what to say, oftentimes you just focus on the words and you're thinking, okay, what can I say to that? What can I say to that?  For example, she says, I'm from Chicago.  And you start thinking like, okay, Chicago, you start trying to do like an association, Chicago. Oh, Chicago style, hot dogs, Windy City, Cubs fan, The Bears, oh, like Michigan, the beach out there, Wicker Park, I lived in Chicago for a brief stint, so I've got a little more Chicago ammunition. But your brain starts looking for these topical things that the words like remind you of. It's what you do when you're nervous and you're struggling to think of something to say. What we like to say to do is paint the picture. And what that means is that you basically take whatever she said and you imagine, you paint the picture of her doing it, of your entire life's past experience involved with your own self doing these things. For example, I know it's a little abstract. For example, a girl says, I went to Mexico. Four words. So if you're trying to struggle to think of something to say based off those four words, you don't have much to go off of. You go, your mind is racing. Let's see, Mexico, beaches, I don't know, what are some other things, what are some other topical things that you think of when you think of Mexico? What's that? Cabo? Tequila. Yeah, easy. It's the way guys think. It's the way guys relate to each other. Topical things. Oh yeah, see that baseball game last night? Why not, we're dudes. Nothing wrong with that. If you want to relate to the woman, if you want to talk to her, you have to speak personally. You have to make it personal. You have to start painting the picture. So when a girl says to me, I went to Mexico, I'm painting a picture of her experience and I'm recalling my past life experience with something similar. My train of thought is going to go something like this. My train of thought is going to be, oh, well, was this a spur of the moment decision that you made?  Did you pack at the last minute like I always do? Or did you plan your trip a couple months in advance? Was your flight delayed? Like flights happen to be delayed quite a bit now. How long was the flight again? Cause I'm not even sure how long that flight to Mexico. It's probably pretty rocky. Did you watch some movies on the plane? Did you just sleep? Or were you so excited that you couldn't sleep? Did you have a shot of tequila when you hit international waters? When you landed, did I lose your luggage? Or was your luggage actually all there in one piece? You're a girl so you probably overpacked quite a bit, didn't you? That's what girls do, it happens. No problem with that, you have to look pretty. I respect that. Did they have a mariachi band playing in the airport when you got off?  And not to be stereotypical, but that's the only song I could think of. What was your trip like? Was it were you just laying on the beach the whole time? Were you going out, getting hammered every single night? Were you trekking through the jungle, climbing waterfalls and zip lining and hiking and looking at monkeys swinging through trees? What type of girl are you? Discovering old ancient Aztec ruins or maybe a combination of all of them. How long were you there for? At the end of your trip, were you anxious to get back? Were you homesick? Were you tired?  Or could you have stayed another week? Did you never want to come back? Were you thinking about moving there? Trip back, was it all right? Did you sleep back on the plane? When you got back where you refreshed, excited to go face the day and face your life or did you need a vacation from your vacation? What was your favorite part of the trip? If you could go back there, would you do it exactly the same again or would you change some things? Painting a picture. And here's what the principle is based off of, is that you guys all have lived at least what? Who's the youngest guy here? 18, anyone who's 18 here? Anyone who's 19 here? Okay, you guys have all lived at least 19 years on this planet, 21 tonight, but you guys have all lived at least 19 years on this planet. You have a wealth of experience to draw from, living in our generation, in our part of the world, in some part of the world, on planet Earth. And it's logical that her being a human being on this planet, in our culture of sorts, has had pretty similar experiences growing up as you did. I used to love Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Say By The Bell when I was growing up.  I can take a wild guess. So anything she says, if I scroll through my back history of experience with it, I can probably have at least one thing that she can relate to. Sometimes I won't. Sometimes she could say something that I have no experience with. I'm completely clueless with. And when that happens, I now have an awesome opportunity for her to teach me something with genuine curiosity. I don't know anything about that. You have to tell me all about it. You're gonna be my resident expert for, I don't know, whatever she's talking about. And if I say something, if she, whatever she says, reminds me of something in my life experience and she's never heard of it before, I'm like, what? How have you never heard of blank?  They're the greatest band in the world. Are you kidding? What's wrong with you? What planet did you grow up on?  And because it's genuine, because it came from you actually listening and pausing and thinking and buffering, giving yourself some more time to buffering again, maybe she might say something which can bring through another million things that you could possibly think of, should never run out of things to say it. Everything you say will be pertinent, will be valuable, will make her really light up and excited because very few guys actually do listen, it's scary. I wanna give an example of how great, of how universally this can be used. And the example I like to use is taking the most boring possible thing that a girl could possibly say to you and show that even with that, if you paint the picture, you've still got a million, not a million things, but you've still got quite a good many things that you could say. And I've heard this one time and time again. If there's one thing I've heard that a girl could say that is more blah, like she's just saying that, she doesn't give two shits, it's if I were to say, so what are you guys up to tonight? Cause I usually like to start with boring interview questions. What are you guys up to tonight? Because girls are expecting it, it's the way that people usually communicate, it's the way that the man of her dreams that she's always imagined is gonna talk to her. But the difference is instead of every other guy that just goes down the list, oh, that's cool, what do you do? Oh, that's cool, where are you from? Oh, that's cool. I'm actually gonna listen, I'm gonna, my response to whatever her response would be is gonna be different than anything she's ever heard before in that situation. That's where I get their attention. So one of my favorites is what are you guys up to tonight? And the most common boring response that you will probably ever get is, oh, we're just hanging out, oh, we're just chilling, not much really, just hanging out, right? Could there be a more boring response that a girl could possibly give you to a question? Probably not. So I wanna paint the picture with this because I believe that if we take the most boring example and show that there's still a million things you can say that anything that a woman could possibly say, you could have a million things to say, never running out, especially with the pausing, buffering, pausing, you have to do that, that's unbelievable. So we're just hanging out, we're just chilling. Anybody wanna shout out something right here? When you can think back about you and your friends just hanging out, just chilling, your own life experience with this thing that she said, what it calls to mind, what it reminds you of, what are some possible things that pop up? Anybody, just shout it out. Out at the bar specifically, yes, I definitely do that with friends, but when you're out at a bar maybe, out at a drinking location with some friends, what does that night look like? Unwinding from a hard day of work, what'd you say? Ordering shots, great, what else? Beer pong, nice, why not? I invented that game, I'm not sure if you were aware of that but it's a long story. Anybody else? What are you and your friends, you're hanging out, what does the night look like?  What else?  What else would you do with your friends? What do you guys all hear for? I mean, aside from the reason I gave you, what did you all think you were here for? Women, you go out to pick up girls, crazy, what else? Hard day at work, maybe a friend's in town who you haven't seen in a while, maybe, I don't know, maybe it's Friday night and that's what you do on Friday night, maybe, there's an occasion when somebody's birthday get together for that, right?  Five minutes? So these, right here, are all amazing things that she can fully relate to that are going to, I mean, as boring as that question is, these are all things that she can fully relate to that all make excellent responses that are gonna be unlike anything else she's heard that night, I can promise you, because most guys here, oh, chilling, oh, that's cool. If you say really, are you guys all from around here?  Guys all work together?  Are you on vacation? Is one of you just in town visiting?  Oh, there's no beer pong tables here, but if you're a house party, maybe, some bars, definitely have them. Taking a quieter night, just having a couple drinks, just relaxing, celebrating anything.  Baby, they're just out, you know what?    Oh, we're crazy too. Anything that you could possibly think of from your own experience, easily relatable.  The only barriers that you ever have to cross, the only tests that you ever have to pass, the only things you ever have to overcome, they're not coming from her, she's just wondering why she's still single and why she can't find a guy.  It's so much more fun, it's the way it's supposed to be, it's enjoyable. Guys are supposed to have fun going out and talking to girls, it's not supposed to be work, it's not supposed to be this traumatic heart, oh, I gotta go and do this again, I gotta focus, I gotta push myself. No, you can't wait to go out and do it because it's the most enjoyable experience you'll ever have in your life.  I'd like to open up, I still have a minute, I'd like to answer a question or two, do I have a? Perfect, perfect, perfect. What's that? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we've gotta start our boot camp up for the weekend, of course, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll be definitely down for a question or two afterwards. Question, you had a question over there, I know. Peter, come on. You can shout, I think we can all hear you. What's that? Yeah. Did any guys go to try to approach them? What were the responses they got from those girls? Weird, some people never open up. Sometimes girls just want to be hanging out with girls. Sometimes I go out with friends and I don't want to be bothered. It happens. There's a million girls in the world. It's one of the nice things about there is that there's always more girls.     And the other key point that I want to, why this is so important of paying attention to those who's open and who's closed, I'm glad you brought this up, is because when I start out, I mean, I'm usually feeling a little creaky. I'm usually feeling a little stiff at the beginning of the night. And so I want to make sure that the first girls I approach are going to be more open themselves, are more loose themselves. Why? Because feelings are contagious. And if I'm feeling a little stiff at first, I'm gonna go talk to some girls who I know are gonna give me a positive response, who are gonna give me a solid response back. And so I start talking to them. I start getting looser. I go talk to some other girls who are fairly open. And as I'm showing my socialness, other girls are gonna start to give me positive signs because they all want to talk to the guy that's being social, which you know by now. And so I'm gonna start talking to the girls that are giving the most open signals first. The first one, two, three, even four approaches I do in the night are going to be with the most open girls for the sheer purpose of getting myself looser. Because once I start rolling, once I get my social momentum going, that feeling of being in the zone, it's something by following those steps.  You can control that. And so once I start getting rolling and once I start feeling great, then I'll go talk to any girl I want to.   There's a middle, I'm feeling so amazing, just rolls right off the shoulder and I go talk to the next girl and have an amazing conversation with her. I'm glad you brought that up. Good question. Very important though, yes. You gotta wrap up. Gotta wrap up? Yeah, that's the time. All right, well thank you guys for your time. Once again, I appreciate it. Thank you.


I'm on record as Crusader being my very favorite application. However, I'm pretty sure that there's a close second and that is MPV. Now, I know what you're thinking, Matt, MPV just plays videos. Well, that's true, but it does it so well. I mean, it just is an absolute marvel of development that I can't help but love it. So there are just a few features and the biggest one that I want to talk about is the remembering feature. So if you set a line, which I'll paste in the video description, if you set a line in your MPV configuration file, it will remember the position of the video that you last left off on. So if you watch movies, if you have to stop midway through and close MPV and come back, it'll remember your spot. But that's not even it.  It's really freaking cool. So yeah, MPV, it's just, it's a fantastic application and you should definitely give it a try.


Here's your host, Jeff Frick. Hi, Jeff Frick here with theCUBE. We are in downtown Seattle. For really, it's been quite a week here. We've had LinuxCon appear this week in OpenStack Seattle and really a lot going on in Seattle. So we wanted to come up, give you a taste of what's going on. We're taking a little field trip to Blue Box Group. Recently acquired by IBM, Jesse Proudman, a many-time CUBE alumni, winner of CUBE Mountainous last March and we just saw him up in Vancouver as well. So we're psyched to come down and come to the office and our next guest is Jill Djibinski, the technical community evangelist. So welcome. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. So it's got to be tough to be an evangelist when you've got Jesse kind of out there leading the charge. Well, if anyone can compete with Jesse for attention, it's probably me. Very good. So talk a little bit about the role of an evangelist. This is a very exciting time in cloud computing. We're kind of in the ground zero of cloud computing really started by Amazon and popularized by AWS and what they've done there and obviously Microsoft Azure is they're rebuilding the company, arguably Satya around cloud. And then you guys are doing an open stack and now you're part of IBM. So talk about the kind of how cloud is evolving in terms of from an evangelist point of view. What's your message changing from? Yeah, so one really cool thing about my role is that it's different than a lot of other evangelists. So I would say I work, I've known Jesse for years. And finally, when they got acquired by IBM, he reached out to me. He's been trying to recruit me into Bluebox for a while now, but he finally convinced me to do so with the opportunity that I was given for this technical community evangelist. And basically what that means to us, it's like a dual role. So I grew up in my career as a technical recruiter and a recruiting manager. So I know the ins and outs of those types of things. So my job is to help build teams but from a cultural perspective to be well known in the community, to travel to conferences, to blog, to speak at conferences, to know the who's who, to be friends with all of those people and to get the right people into Bluebox. While also letting them know in the community know how awesome Bluebox is and what great culture we have and how you should be treating your employees quite frankly. It's a cool story. You're a technical evangelist by title but if you look at your background, do you have your psychology and sociology and organizational psychology? But it's important because as you just said, it's really about people and teams and I think it's illustrative to say you can get involved in the technology industry and not necessarily be a technologist. Yep, completely. I'm very fortunate that when I started tech recruiting years back at Rockspace that I was really open arms accepted into this community. And I think that it's just because I'm like a sarcastic weirdo like a lot of other people in tech. So they're like, come on in. And so I just became this well known recruiter which doesn't happen. I mean that in itself is like a conundrum and so got to know people and really have been accepted and have flourished. It's been awesome. Yeah. And so, and now, you know, we talk often about people processing tech, people processing tech and tech is always kind of the driver, the catalyst that pulls everything together but really it's the people in the process that's the difficult part in terms of changing behavior, changing how people operate, getting people to do things. So talk about how you use that in your recruiting to help build these big teams. Definitely. So I always say that I'm like an advocate for my candidates instead of just like a seat filler. Obviously recruiting is about building teams but it's about building the right teams with the right people who have, you know, the right attitude and the right technical capabilities of course. But I treat everyone with love and respect. So love is something that's very important to me and it's kind of a weird thing to say in tech because I think we can be a little bit like coldish on the culture piece. And I don't know if that's because it's the majority of the people involved are men and that's like a stereotypical man thing. But I'm known for love and giving lots of hugs. And you know, I think that being able to speak to the community and let them know that when they work at Blue Box, you know, the company that I'm at now, they're going to be treated with respect. They're gonna be able to work on cool stuff. I just wrote a blog post about this.  They get to work with people that they respect and they get paid competitively or fairly. A lot of the people that, I mean, there's definitely people that are gonna wanna be paid that above and beyond, cause that's tech. But for the teams that I want to build out those three core pieces are really there. And of course there's things to add on top of that to make your company a really great place. But those are kind of like the core values. And I let them know from the get go that they are, they're not just a number to me. I'm friends with probably everyone I've ever hired. I know a lot of my hires kids. I babysat some of my hires kids. So it's a family tech. We all should be one big family whether we work at one company or another and be supportive of each other. That's like human nature as it should be. And that's what I'm here to give back. Right. So what about the change though now? The challenge organizationally when you go from kind of a small cool nimble startup with Jesse Alfront and doing cool stuff with the car and everything else. To now you're part of IBM. So that's good and bad in terms of the recruiting and where people wanna work. So how's that impacting your evangelism and your ability to bring people in? What are the concerns or issues that people are making that kind of a trade off? Of course. And so the last company I was at was DigitalOcean which is a very cool startup. And it was a great place to work. And I built out a great recruiting team there and passed the baton. But it's very different here at Bluebox because it's like some of the things that you said and there's a good and a bad. So with IBM we're back to 100%. They're letting us stay as we want to be and that's not just something they're saying and not doing. They're really letting us do that. Of course like from an HR perspective we're feeling some of like the paperwork and processes of a large company. So that's not as fun. But it is what it is. They're a 400,000 person company. So yeah. But I think that it's good things. I think that where we've come as technical community though in general is that people are starting to tire of the startup lifestyle where the expectation is that your work is your life. And it comes to a point in life where that's not always what you want to do. You still want to be super passionate about your job and excited but you're allowed to do things outside of work. And that's what fulfills you as a human being. And so being able to give people that as opposed to just pool tables and beer on tap which actually we have both here. So it's a little bit of a mixed bag but you can also have hobbies outside of work and that's what I'm able to give people. So that's why I really felt excited to come to Blue Box because I was able to do the mix. Okay. And then you're at Rackspace before. So you've been involved in open source projects. So how does, you know and I think it's really interesting in open source about how people get so much personal fulfillment in being a contributor and being leading an effort. How has that impacted your recruiting effort and how does that play out in terms of a company? And I always go back to this. You know, if you have people contributing to open source and they're getting a lot of their personal mojo from that at the same time they got work to do for the company. How do you sort that out? How do you manage to kind of cover both sides of that? Yeah, it's an interesting dynamic. And of course with developers too a lot of their outside of work hobbies are their inside of work hobbies but just on a project basis on their own. But yeah, so I mean we definitely want to hire people who are supportive of open source. Obviously we run our open sack and that's our bread and butter our biggest open source project that we contribute to and support. But we want people who want to give back to the community because if we weren't giving back in general then we wouldn't be where we are today. I mean, that's why blue box is blue box. That's why rack space is rack space. So it can be a bit of a double-edged sword though because we want people to do that but then it is like at rack space what we used to do is they would say you could have like 20% of your time to contribute to open source projects at work. And then it becomes 20%. So for some roles, it became, I mean that sounds amazing. That's a big number, it's one day a week. But then it gets a little bit tricky because like how do you draw the line in the sand? Like when hours in the day are those 20% and maybe some teams are getting to do it more than others. So I think that here we don't have anything like that but we are very supportive and actually IBM sent us an email the other day to say that like if you are contributing to open source projects you can earn up to like $500 just for contributing inside or outside of work. And so like outside of open stack, you know?  Yeah, other things just because the community is super important. So last thing, you're obviously a woman, vibrant, a lot of energy, talk about crazy men culture of engineering that you've been successful in. So I wonder if you can share for people, you know, kind of your journey to go from psychology and sociology and really to build a successful career in tech and specifically if you can kind of couch your thoughts and your answers for someone who's just in college, just getting out of college, kind of getting started on their journey and trying to figure out, you know, can I get involved in this huge engine that's driving so much of demand for talent even if I'm not a coder?  I remember my early days at Rackspace when I was going to a lot of conferences and I got put on the spot a lot by men at conferences and I remember specifically being at LinuxCon, it was in San Diego years ago. I was in a group discussion with a couple coworkers and a couple people who didn't work at Rackspace and this guy was just like grilling me to see if I knew, if I was like up to snuff on tech, which I wasn't because I was new. I am not a coder like you said. And so it's really like getting past that point to acceptance.  There's absolutely no doubt that you will but you have to be tough in tech and it kind of sucks that it's like that but it is what it is now. And so I have a lot of friends who are female engineers and who are very accepting of me being in tech and not being an engineer. You know, we all have each other's back and we all go through a lot of stuff but it's getting a lot better. And I think that it's just that never give up attitude no matter what. So and be yourself, be yourself because that's how I found that the most people have accepted me. Like when I stopped trying to pretend that like I was fitting in in these circles because I was a techie. Like, I mean, I am in some aspects but not in the coding aspect. I take a couple of classes but they don't always go very well. But when I started just being a human and finding other reasons why we would get along and started connecting with people on a human level and that's when I really like, my career really took off. So I think that that's really important. Don't try to be someone that you're not. Right. Be yourself and don't give up. Yeah, for sure. And go. And tips and smile. Got a beautiful smile. Smile a lot, yeah. I love that you're perfect for an evangelist. You got to follow Jesse's. It's not an easy spot. Yeah, that's very true. Well, Jill, thanks for taking a few minutes out of your day. Really appreciate it. Yeah, thank you so much again for having me, my pleasure. So I'm Jeff Frick. We are on the ground in Seattle, Washington at Blue Box headquarters. You're watching theCUBE. Thanks for watching.