Hi, everyone, and welcome back to our blog from the Kamasutra to 2020, where we look at your questions, your concerns, even your worries around all things to do with sex and sexuality. So, unfortunately, we don't have Dr. Anrita Madan Behl with us today due to medical reasons, but I do have an amazingly wonderful guest for you all today, the one, the only Ranbir Alabadia. Now, Ranbir is a very special person.  But the reason that he's on this podcast with us today is two reasons. One is that he is very, very high up on my list of favorite young people. The other is that he is amazingly connected to the youth of India. And I think that his point of view today will be extremely helpful. So Ranbir, I would like to invite you onto this podcast to bring your perspective to add to the advice that the Kamasutra has to give. Welcome. Ma'am, thank you so much for having me on the show. Thank you so much for the kind introduction. You're one of my favorite people in general. So I'm glad to be a part of anything you're creating, honestly and honor. Okay. So this is an amazingly good mutual admiration society. I like the way it started. But Ranbir, almost all of your amazing followers, I mean, Ranbir, for everybody out there who doesn't know this, Ranbir has a following of about three million. So he really doesn't need any kind of introduction, but just in case there are a few people out there who don't know who Ranbir is, he's also known as Bear Biceps. Now I have to ask you, why Bear Biceps? I think back in the day, the idea was to create a fitness-based channel. Like we'd only talk about fitness. And the idea I wanted to promote back then is that you can balance out fitness with partying. Little did I know that my life would unfold in a very different way where I don't drink any alcohol anymore. I'm not into bodybuilding anymore. But the name stuck around it, it's just one of those names. So that's why Bear Biceps. Okay. Well, it's strange that you should say that and also quite cool because the Kamasutra has a lot to say about physical fitness, about exercise. They actually say that it makes you really sexy. And as a matter of fact, I mean, I'm going to tell you a little bit more about this in a while. But there are entire routines of exercise that were laid out for men and women. And some of the most graphic literature in Sanskrit, I mean, none of our literature is very graphic. It's not obscene in any way. But the most graphic ones always follow an exercise routine. I'm going to tell you more about that later. But tell me, how does this actually fit in with your ideas of fitness, of sexual health generally? I mean, I feel like as a guy, you really start seeing your body change somewhere in your mid-20s. You start seeing a change when you're 11 years old, but you start seeing the effects of fitness along with sexual health only in your mid-20s, where you also contrast your life against guys who've not really taken care of their bodies. I see a lot of that happening around me. A lot of my friends who are chain smokers or they are still into binge drinking in the mid-20s and who don't take care of the health. You know, I'm even seeing people who are dealing with issues like erectile dysfunction, someone else is dealing with some psychological sexual issues. And I feel like that's the gift of fitness, especially for a man that your body works fine. I believe that your hormones are in place. So your testosterone is always feeling good. And I do believe that, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, ma'am, you'd know better than me, but I feel like sexual health is also linked to your mental health in a lot of ways.  And the core of all that, I feel is physical fitness. And just speaking about physical fitness, I feel every human, not just men, but generally people should embrace it in order to blow off steam. I was listening to a podcast of Jerry Sciencefeld and he said that any of life's problems can be solved with a combination of weight training and meditation. So that's something I believe in as well. I agree with you entirely. I believe, I mean, I'm now 58. So, you know, you get to that age where the body starts to give up on you and so many things fall apart. But I actually believe that 85 percent of our issues can be redeemed. They can be dealt with through physical exercise. It's so good for you. And yes, there is that whole issue of how it impacts our mental health and so on. But actually, you mentioned the point of erectile dysfunction. So we do know in the Kam Shastras, they say that for pure pleasure, for pleasure to really reach its height, you have to have an extremely good blood flow to the genitals, to the sexual organs. And that is what, I guess, creates the creates a good direction, a strong direction and so on. And certainly, and it also it's the same for women as well. So the fact that you mentioned that exercise might be related to erectile dysfunction, I think it's definitely related to it. I'm not saying that that's always the case because you can exercise too much and go over the, you know, over the brink and the other side. But by and large, I think it it does make a lot of difference. So if you were actually telling people how to sort this problem out, what advice would you give them? What would you tell them to do in the way of physical fitness, of exercise?  But over the years, I figured that fitness has a different definition for everyone and the goal is to be consistent with one kind of physical activity. So whether you like dance, whether you like sport, whether you like just really long walks, marathon running, or weight training, most guys end up liking weight training because the results of weight training are the same as what society has told you to do all your life. As in what society keeps highlighting Anil Shorzanegar's body or a WWF wrestler's body, WWE wrestler's body or a footballer's body and weight training results in that. And I also feel for a lot of men as far as I understand the psychology of men, I feel like it does generally benefit from the process of weight training because guys need that little external stress on their body. And I've trained a lot of women as well. I've worked as a physical fitness trainer, where I have to go to people's houses, trained men, trained women. But I always felt like guys responded better because the way a man's mind is built, you do need that external little bit of stress to just humble you up. Women, it's a little different. I feel women kind of enjoy being in a state of flow even in the exercise. Guys need to be kind of slapped down. So obviously, I mean, because I really enjoy my own weight training. That's what I nudge, especially men towards. OK, so yes, you're right. Men do men do react to the visuals of weight training, better of physical training and weights to add up, they bulk up the muscles and so on. I should tell you that just before the second lockdown, this third lockdown, actually, we've just entered our third lockdown in the UK. I took up boxing. And it was amazingly good. I mean, it made me feel fantastic, but I don't want to bulk up. What am I going to do? How do I stop myself from bulking up? I don't think that's what I want to look like. So, you know, there is this kind of image or this thought that a lot of women have generally that exercise does make you bulk up. But that's only true if you back up exercise with a huge amount of excess calories.  But it is actually harder for women to put on a huge amount of size just because of the way the hormonal system is built. Again, this is me coming from the world of physical fitness and biology. And this is what I've studied and seen over the years. But I'll tell you what, I also nudge a lot of women towards some form of strength training, which could be boxing, because boxing also involves working your central nervous system. You know, when you're throwing a punch, it could be yoga. It could be weight training, of course, because for women after the age of 25, your bone density, your muscle mass, all of it starts going down. For guys that happens a lot later, that happens at age 40. But for women, it happens a lot earlier. So if you do feel like you're bulking up, probably just reduce the intensity of training and just kind of watch your caloric intake. Well, this is the physical trainer and me waking up. But that's that's honestly what I figured over the years. Now, it's been a while since I've trained people and this always works like a charm. Wonderful. I'll keep that in mind. So, Ranveer, as you know, this particular program was started. This podcast was started a while ago with me and Anvita, who is a psychosexual therapist, to deal with a lot of the questions and the worries that a lot of young people were in India were writing in about, because it seems to me that as the years go forward, none of the taboos have dropped. None of the issues of sin and guilt that we have around sex and sexuality have stopped. And for some reason, there's even fewer places today to go to for advice. And so people were starting to write in and the emails were starting to grow. And we found that we needed an outlet somewhere where we could actually advise young people and everybody generally, but more the young people so that they could lead a slightly healthier life around their sexuality. We could answer a few more questions. Now, ideally, what I want to know from you is you being in your mid-twenties and, as I said, very connected with the youth of the country. What do you think are the things that are most concerning at the moment for young people? So, ma'am, I honestly want to bring up a point I missed out in one of your previous questions. And this is something I've spoken to a lot of my guy friends about. So this happens to both men and women. A lot of people might have a lot of body image issues, especially when it comes to, you know, it's because of what's the word for it, unreal body standards, I think that's what they call it. Basically, you see film posters, you see posters of bodybuilders, you know, bikini models and you believe that your body is supposed to be a certain way. So if they end up trying to go and make love with someone, the underlying thought isn't, okay, let me enjoy this process or this experience. The thought is, oh my God, what's she thinking of my body? Are my moods looking bad? Is my stomach looking bad? And the same thing happens for not all women.  I don't know. No, that's not true. At least the ones I know, you know, that closely have been pretty secure. But generally speaking, my whole generation, I feel there's too many body image issues. So I've seen that exercise kind of fixes that for you because no city dwelling human, at least, and no Indian really expects a bodybuilder style body off of their partner or, you know, visible ab muscles and all that. People just expect you to be relatively fit, but this is something that the youth fails to understand or just generally Indians failed to understand.  So if you were going to deal with, let's say you were put out there and told, OK, Ranveer, you have one thing that you can fix for the people when it comes to sexuality or one thing that you can actually convince them to think differently about. Is this the one thing that you would pick?  Like you kind of look forward to your own masturbation sessions rather than the actual sexual experience.    These two points that probably highlight. I think that you're really right about the porn particularly. I find that it's so unreal. We say this constantly when Anna and I do these talks. We say it constantly because it's a huge industry, multimillion dollar industry where they've got the best photoshopping equipment. So nothing is real, not the way that your body looks, not the way that the sexual organs look, not even the way that you come. I mean, everything is photoshopped. So of course, nothing is real. But we do tend to base most of our images on what we see in pornography. And I think what's really sad for me is to me and I think to most women, the whole idea of love making is far beyond that one sexual act. You know, there's so much more to it. There's that whole seduction. There's that whole idea of pleasure, what comes before, what comes after. With pornography, it's so cut and dried that you don't understand, you know, that there is so much more to it.  You know, you get on and you've got to race to the finish. You know, you're on an express train. And we keep saying to people that, you know, there are stations along the way, you can get off anywhere. But yeah, coming back to this point that you made about how people view their own body image and, you know, you said earlier about erectile dysfunction and so on and so forth. You know, exercise actually plays a huge part in the way that we look at our own bodies as well. And unfortunately, women are most women are equally uncertain about their bodies. It's just something that it's been put upon us ever since advertising started. So with the Kamasutra, they actually talk about certain types of exercise where it's not just an exercise.   And interestingly, in all the ancient Sanskrit plays, in every single play, there is one particular point where the woman, where the heroine plays with the ball and she is irresistible at that point. And it always follows a really big seduction scene of some kind. So it's really fascinating that along the way we got into this corporate culture, which was all about sitting down behind a desk and working and we lost that idea of exercising and we lost the fact that it can have such a huge positive impact on us. Now, we can always revisit this point later. I think what I'd like to ask you about, you know, whenever I do a talk and the one question I always get asked is about monogamy. Somewhere, somebody, some anthropologist somewhere wrote down that monogamy is not natural to human beings. It's a point that gets picked up by everybody. Most people don't understand what they say. It's just become an excuse to sleep around or to have multiple partners and so on. Tell me, what do the young people think about this whole idea of monogamy not being natural or this idea that's been put into their head? So, ma'am, when it comes to monogamy, I feel you've got to kind of take a step back and just kind of gauge the whole mindset of the generation in general. And this generation, because of that amount of information, has kind of developed a spectrum of opinions. So you have people who are very, very stuck on the concept of monogamy and they value it possibly even more than the older generations did. You have people who are trying to figure out their way, which is again a whole spectrum of, I don't know, opinions. And then you have people on one other end who are completely against the idea of monogamy. You know, they've possibly read a lot of books about evolutionary psychology. Then that whole school of thought that, you know, we're meant to have multiple sexual partners and all that. And you also, at the same time, I'll tell you one thing for sure. I believe that most young people I speak to generally have more of a spiritual element or a spiritual inclination than even their parents. They can be the same family. The parents aren't really that spiritual inclined, but the young person is. So either they completely have this idea of abstaining from sex, like completely, where they want to almost take up monkhood, or they look at a relationship from a very spiritual perspective of man and wife, a unique value or marriage, all that. So it's this buffet of opinions, honestly, on a personal level, I feel I'm like hyper romantic. I don't know. That's just a predetermined thing. I was born this way. So even I have this concept of like I really value monogamy. I stand on that part of the spectrum. But my mindset is not a reflection of like the whole youth mindset. But tell me something. So let's go with the people who you feel the youngsters who believe that monogamy is just a concept that's completely outdated and doesn't actually exist.  You know, usually there's a lot of casual sex that goes on in that part of the spectrum. That's what I have observed from my experiences. And they kind of I don't know. They kind of treat sex like how you treat going out to McDonald's. Like that's how I kind of look at it. Like they kind of look at it as, you know, whatever. We just we just have a good time. That's not my again. That's probably me being too stiff in my own head. But that's not how I look at it. There's this word called demisexual, which I believe it means that you only feel sexually attracted to someone when you also feel emotional love for them, like you feel an emotional connection with them. So these people kind of keep emotions out of their whole sexual experience. And that's how they look at it. A lot of them seem to be doing all right. A lot of them are unhappy for sure. Some of them are even somewhere in the heart looking for a stable relationship, even though they say that, you know, not something I believe in. And some of them kind of a lot of them grow out of it. I see I see that happening. I'm 27. I have friends who are like 32, 33. And I've seen them shift in their mindset over time. But they say that, oh, okay, you know, as I grew up, as I got out of my 20s, I realized that I probably want someone to settle down with.  But to go back to the other end of the spectrum, the people who totally believe in monogamy. I'd be interested to know what in the younger generation is the idea of monogamy. I mean, what is the, what's the line? Physical fidelity and emotional fidelity.   You don't hold hands with someone who's not your partner. That would be physical fidelity and emotional fidelity would be, you know, don't kind of, you don't need to have, you don't need to find emotional solace outside of your own relationship. So I read this one quote, which would make sense to a lot of young people at least. It says that the moment you hide text messages from someone else, the moment you hide it from your actual partner, your cheating has begun. So that's how a lot of young people look at it. But I feel trust, honesty, transparency, these are concepts that are valued by younger folks, especially the ones who really value monogamy. And trust me, there's a lot of people who value monogamy out there. Like it's not a small part of the spectrum. I feel, you know, I can talk very openly to you, but I can't have these conversations with other people from your generation. Like a lot of those other people have this pre-existing kind of outlook on our generation. But I feel, I feel what they don't know is that there's a lot of people who value monogamy, despite growing in a world full of divorces, despite coming from families where they've seen separation, divorce, fights. I also feel that while social media can be toxic, it can play a role in making you a better human being because you become more empathetic. You understand how other people's minds work. You understand how other people's emotions work. So you do become more romanticized as a human. And you know that that's part of the spectrum that does value monogamy. I'd go as far as saying it's about 40 to 50% of young people at least. It's interesting because again, as you get older, the ideas of that line change. So I know that what you're saying is that, you know, when you're younger, you're more spiritual, that your ideas are more grounded in certain types of spiritual thought towards somebody that you love. As you get older, a lot of things sag. And it's not only the boobs that sag, you know, unfortunately, your principal sag as well. It's not just the belly that sags. It's, yeah, a lot of things do change. And I find that this line of monogamy shifts. So tell me, what do you think about fantasizing? You said about emotional monogamy. What is your view on fantasies? Like if you fantasize about somebody else? I think that's all right. That seems all right to me right now. So I once dated a girl, I think this was when I was 16 or 17, who had a huge issue with me watching porn. Now, I was a teenager back then.  But she had an issue to the point where she would fight with me and break up with me if she ever found out I was watching porn. So I found that very, you know, awkward. But then I realized, okay, wait, there's actually a lot of girls who think that way, who don't like their partner who's watching porn. Lots of guys don't understand this. You need to have a lot of conversations with those girls to understand their mindset. So here, guys watch porn with the idea of, oh, okay, I'm stimulated by something visual. Let me stimulate myself by something new that's visual. They look at it as McDonald's one day or eating your fillet of fish, next day or eating your Maharaja Mac. That's how guys look at it. But women look at that same situation like, am I not good enough for you? Is my visual not good enough for you? And I'm dead sure there are vice versa versions of that. Like, where maybe something that women think is very normal is looked at by guys as, oh, how can you do that? For example, I know a lot of Indian guys, a lot of girls will clap for me when I say this because I've got a sister, I've got a mom, I've dated women. So I know that this is a very common issue in India. A lot of guys don't like their girlfriends showing too much cleavage, especially in this country or too much skin, where they'll actually go up to the girl and say, how can you wear that? Lots of Indian guys. And the guy mindset is I know how other guys think. If other guys see you dressed like this, I know how they will think. But for women, it's like, no, this is a part of my feminine beauty. So women are possibly not even doing it for guy attention. They're doing it for themselves. They want to look beautiful. But that's not something guys can understand. I don't even remember what the question was, but this is nice how it's making, how we're doing this experiment with the mind. No, I do agree with you what you just said. And let me clap for you also on that one, definitely. I was saying that we talked about where you draw the line for fantasies. So do you actually, sorry, where you draw the line for monogamy? So, you know, in our old Hindu mythologies, where the woman goes out and she thinks of another man and immediately her purity has disappeared. Those are the stories we have come down the generations with. Okay, now I was saying, what do you think about fantasy? Because I've had people come to me and say, if you are with somebody, you're making love, but you're fantasizing about somebody else, that is wrong as well. Other people say, well, you know, fantasy is a really important part of me staying fresh in my sexual relationship. And it's okay if I fantasize about somebody else because I am physically faithful to one person. So where do you, where do you, and where do a larger number of the young people stand on the idea of fantasizing about somebody else when you are with another person? And I'll tell you why I'm asking this. I have three children who are all 30 downwards. And I understand from looking at them and all their friends and talking to them, that they have very black and white ideas of monogamy, of fidelity, very black and white. It's either good or bad. And as you get older, those ideas shift, they become more fluid. So where do you stand on fantasizing about somebody else when you're with somebody else? So on a very personal level, I feel like I'm the kind of person who becomes very emotionally vested in to the other person. So even if I've ever had sex with someone who I'm dating, there is a huge element of love, even if I've dated for a very long time. But that's just me. I also feel I'm someone who reflects whatever the other person's ideas and models are. And I'm not really dated someone who's discussed fantasizing outside of the relationship with me. I do understand your concept of sagging and gray areas in the spectrum, because that's how a lot of young kids would look at alcohol. You look at drinking alcohol when you're growing up as really bad. And once you grow up, you realize, okay, there's a gray spectrum as well, where you shouldn't become an alcoholic, but once in a while, it's okay. So I'm guessing that the same thing happens with sexuality. I've never really thought of that. If you ask me at age 27, I would probably say that it's bad, you shouldn't, but that's again, because I've never experienced it happening. I have had someone cheat on me and that really destroyed me. Don't mind saying that, I've said it on a lot of podcasts, because I didn't see it coming, despite it seeming like a very emotionally fuel, love-fueled relationship. So I guess as I'm growing up, even I'm understanding how these things work. I don't have a clear answer for you right now, ma'am. The thing is that sometimes these things happen where you step out of line or out of the drawn line. And even though it's not a good thing, it shouldn't be treated as the worst thing in the world. I don't know whether that's a good thing to say for people, on a podcast where young people are going to be watching, but I do think that there's a certain amount of perspective that has to be reached, a certain balance. Yeah, I think in the modern world, there are so many other factors that go into a relationship more than before. I feel earlier relationships were a lot simpler. Now, again, it's the whole social media effect, it's the information age effect. It could simply be the effect of people switching careers. The first generation that's going to have to switch so many careers. So because we live in these unprecedented phases of humanity, I think what you're saying is correct. But again, on a personal level, I'm a huge supporter of monogamy. You know, when you're dating someone, you have your first talk, you have your first conversation about what your expectations are. So I'm the kind of person who always says, just please be 100% honest with me. Try not to cheat or do anything along those lines. And usually what I've always seen is all the girls have dated and I have dated a lot of girls in my teenage and even now, like after college and all that. Most girls are in that same mindset of, yeah, I completely agree with you. Let's be transparent and honest with each other. And you know what I'll tell you, this is the other good effect of social media. You've got a lot of relationship infotainment as well. Like, you know, this podcast, we're going to educate a lot of people on a lot of things. It's going to help build other people's EQs. Therefore couples are having these conversations. So a lot of people are in that zone where they treat their relationship as something they can work on. And therefore I believe that monogamy is going to become the trend a lot. Like people assume that the next generation will stop getting married that early. But what I've been observing is that a lot of people want to get married. I think about marriage thought, like where I think that, you know, there's too much rapidity in my life. There's too much speed happening on me. And I probably just need that emotional anchor in my life. And that's not just me, all my friends, the guys, the girls, consciously talk a lot about marriage, consciously talk a lot about fidelity. So I personally feel that monogamy part of the spectrum is going to keep growing. So okay, let's take for instance, people in a relationship determined to be monogamous, determined to be faithful to each other, all good intentions in the world. We all get to a certain point in our relationship where things become a little bit boring. Now I want to say this from somebody who talks about relationships and talks about the idea of karma, of love, that it takes a great deal of effort to actually maintain a monogamous relationship, to keep it exciting and good. So that it's a desire, it's a voluntary notion rather than something that is put upon you because you don't have an out. What would you think of as the path for monogamy? I mean, if you were laying out a set of rules for yourself in a relationship, how would you maintain monogamy? And give yourself enough time to think that going forward, there are going to be things that eventually become boring. I think a lot of communication, a lot of shared experiences, I feel a lot of people look for their fun experiences outside of their relationship. And my fun experiences, I don't mean sexual experiences, I just mean anything. I want to go hang out with my boys instead of my wife. And then I've also seen marriages where men say things like, no, my wife is my best friend, as the other always hang out with her. So I feel if you find your best friend, you know how Shah Rukh Khan says, pyaar dosti hai, something along those lines, that's my guess when it comes to monogamous relationships, that you end up enjoying the company of that person so much that their natural state of being, their natural outlook on life actually helps you achieve your own goals. And I'm not just talking about career goals. So everyone has their own goals, men have their own goals, women have their own goals. Your job in a relationship is to help the other person achieve their goals. You have to make them get the most out of themselves. And if your natural state of being, if you don't have to put any effort in that direction, just who you are as a person. For example, I know I'm a very optimistic human being, but the optimism sometimes, it makes me overthink about things. So I tend to get a little bit hyper. Now, if I'm with someone who's a lot calmer than I am, but maybe who's not the most optimistic person, therefore we balance each other out very naturally. Like she'll bring the calm to my life, well, I'll give her some of those times. So that's just what I guess, and that's what I'm saying to having experienced relationships with myself, that your natural state of being needs to match like a jigsaw piece. Okay, so I love the idea of the fact that we have a whole younger generation growing up with this idea that monogamy is a good idea. I just want to give my little bit of advice to the younger people who would like to follow in this path, and that is that as you grow older, you will grow in different ways. So what you are at age 27, you will not be at age 47, and what you are at 47, you will not be at age 67 and so on. So you will grow in two separate ways, and you will come to a point where you're not going to be able to fit together like two pieces in a jigsaw. And that's where the entire idea of building your communication becomes so important. You mentioned that communication is what you rely on. You'll find that that's what you rely on a great deal. And that's where it will boil down to eventually. You know, the Kamasutra actually really, really does, the Kamasutra really does believe in monogamy. It actually says that the best lovemaking is always with somebody that you've been with for a very long time. I find a lot of people in different age groups will say, oh, the chemistry has died out. This is not for me anymore. I need to be with somebody else. The Kamasutra says that when you feel that that chemistry has died out and there's a comfort factor that has set in, that's when you have the best lovemaking because you have to try a little bit harder for the arousal to come. And when you have to try a little bit harder, you experience every level of that arousal.  Remember this point. Come back to your partner because, trust me, there is no better sex. According to the Kamasutra and they knew what they were talking about. I mean, that's something I agree with. Not that I know much about the Kamasutra as compared to you, but again, romantic dude who believes in old school love. I hope that you're always going to be romantic and that you will not be disillusioned in any way because that would be very sad. I like the fact that you think the way that you do. And I'm hoping that a lot of other people also find a way to think like that because on a very personal level, I think it gives you a great deal of joy. Yeah, 100%. I also feel that the nature of my job is creative and creativity comes out of that same emotional pool that love comes out of. So that pool has to be kind of old school. At least that's how my creativity is as well.  So that's probably why I believe in monogamy. Wonderful. So when we just close it off, I want to know the two things that we touched upon more than everything else. One was this whole idea of erectile dysfunction being connected in some way to exercise and the other was the idea of monogamy and balancing out a relationship with romance and a personal life. If you have to give out one piece of advice to all of your listeners, what would that be? So with erectile dysfunction, other than weight training or exercise, I have figured the power of raw food. So this is a conversation Mam and myself were having, I think yesterday or day before when we did a pre-podcast conversation, where we were talking about the power of raw food and how it just changes your stamina, levels, your clarity, your outlook, obviously your skin health, your health of your hair, all that. Raw food will really change your, get into a habit of consuming it. Ayurveda says that you should consume it when the sun is out, first thing in the morning before you consume anything else. And that's something I've been doing. I break my intermittent fasting style diet with a lot of raw food and I've seen the difference it's made. Whether it's in the gym, on the football field or anywhere else, there's just a different kind of mindset you have with it. So that's one piece of advice I'd like to give. And the second is probably when it comes to fidelity, monogamy. I just feel that go back to what every ancient text in the world says, whether that's the Bible, the Quran, the Gita or any other ancient text, they always say that treat others as you treat yourself. And when you're in a relationship, someone else has like kind of handed their heart in your hand. So even while you may not take monogamy that seriously or fidelity that seriously, maybe for the other person and that person's past experiences, infidelity is not something they would be okay with. Infidelity is not something that they would take lightly. Maybe it'll hurt them for the rest of their life. So don't play around with someone's trust. That's what I'd probably say. I love how you said it. Thank you for that because I know that I talk a lot about what the Kamasutra says and about what other ancient texts say, but maybe it's all in the language that you use. And I'm hoping that you, as a younger person, saying it the way that you have, will actually reach a lot of the people who have written into us over the months about these two issues. And I certainly hope that this is going to lead to a better life for everybody. I mean, right now we could do with anything that makes our life better with the problems that are hanging over our head. But there is going to be life beyond this virus. There are going to be relationships beyond this virus. And we need to know how to nurture those and cherish those. So here's two very, very successful relationships in the future for everybody. Ranbir, I can't thank you enough for being with us today. You've been an absolute delight. You always are. I have to interject and say that I look forward to every conversation with you because there's always some new learnings. Just when I think that, okay, so now I've learned everything Ma'am had to like or teach. I learn something new every time. So I just, whenever I speak to you, my first thought is okay. This is what I'm going to be adding something to my mind today. You're very sweet. You can see everybody listening in. We have a mutual admiration society. So as always, do comment, like, subscribe. If you have any questions, the email address is info.seema.onent at gmail.com. If you have any specific questions for Dr. Anvita Madan Behal, she is on anvitamadanbehal.com and Ranbir Alabadia is on the Ranbir show where you can write to him about any of his viewpoints. We look forward to seeing you again next week. As always, Ma'am, this was an honor and a pleasure. Thank you.


If you can have some more comments, we'll read some more comments after this first interview. He's the CEO. He goes by the name CEO and he's the CEO of VP. Safi Kabisa, welcome. It's your first time here. But you've been in the music industry for quite a long time. Yes, from that time I recorded my first song because it's like eight years now. Like eight years in the industry. I'm just going to start with this. What have you learned so far from the industry? Because it's been changing. We've been playing old school music all day. But now kuna pia gengitone nene kwa kiraizu. On the lyric content. So what have you learned from all those years in the industry? The lesson you now get, kume kwa na revolution kwa industry. There used to be those days in the back. I was a huge fan of nonene. I was a huge fan of joakali ken rezea wa seote. And then you find that during that period sana sana, ilikuwa wa sewa lu kuna tegemea sana TV na radio, dio mzikiya ko ifikiye wa sana, ifikiye maa sesu konje. But then this revolution mekampaka last year kuana yo time wa toki complain maa naija and what. So I'm a boy. Like a music. So I'm a boy when yo mekampaka ethics. Like my friend Rezyu say maa, nika moa lifiniya reset but in the industry. Waka find a new avenue. Yes, YouTube was there, but una pata musei palemita ani hakiwa getu ilikuwa hard sana in the YouTube kuna kutafuta. But then waka kama na content na bamba wa se wa muta. Wana bonga lu gaya, una cheki. So in a video musei atafute ataka ni kakumi bipale kaba nusikiya se henda atafute o boys pale. So kuna kata space wa mefunguwa, kuna kare set button wa lifaniya waka faniya uma inapenda imu ziki sana. So which is somehow a good theme. We might differ about content na lu gaya but then that's the language they know. Ion de vitu wana interact na umta anizon de vitu wana sayema na izon de vitu in a bamba wa se. Ndi wana wakona ma fans. Kama inge kuwa appealing ko wa se. Angi kuwa na gonga miita kuwa YouTube pale. So kuna yu avenue ame leta richa I think is a good thing. So basically gangiton and every gangiton artist out there ame open up that avenue. Ya kwenyasha people you can search for music online. So hopefully entertain as a streaming platforms as well. In oto anza kupata revenue. With regard to revenue you've been in the industry for eight years. People are complaining. It's not just about you know ati play kei kwa sababu wato na play too much Niger. Also another conversation in the industry na artist wanda nsebaga doi kuapi. What do you think about that? About doi waze kaw julika ni ni had kumek Kujulika na jana? Yes kaw julika ni ni had kumek any revenue because kuna streaming revenue online sindio. Kuna kumek doi through his channels, YouTube and downloads na skiza na izo vitu zote. Kuna royalties from kuchese wangoma kua media stations and then kuna shows and then kuna merchandise. So unapata izo vitu zote zikopek doi kujulika na. If more people know you then they will download your music. They will watch your music. Ako woseti kuna mchwa mefungia pesa mahali. Ni artist lazimo aji kakamua. Ya ina bidi kujikakamua lakini piya badu adat kuna piya watu kakanyaga ki asi lakini ina bidi wos kumek. Bidi na oniki. Bidi iski. Atome na kanyaga ita fika point ya ni uta panika katsunami uta pitanaya ita bidi aku aku ita maku aku funguli avenues sababu atawana wasewa na kudimanda nje. So bidi na kutengeneza at least ground power. Vitu zi sikue different kua ground kuna julika na zana kwa ni ni kua ground ni different. Kua ground ni different. Kuka underground wasewa ta kusaka. Wasewa ta kutafuta. Kwa woseti neneza false image online. Kwanza fanyikazi on the ground alafu do build up your PR vizuri online. So uki wa fosi online make sure kua ground PR aku neneza itu asho wu jaze sio ni celeb kua instant neneza zingine lakini uki itu asho kua promota apatiku. Mekupata. Spaking of hard work na kudzeka kamawa you also have a bachelor's in music and you, a music teacher. Let's talk about that for a minute. What do you teach exactly in instrument how many vocals. Everything across the board I do I train instruments. I teach music theory. I do choral training. All that. Everything basically in music sababu. In terms of vocals We've had a hard situation Mke mwadi kwa mwadi mwadi mwadi kwa mwadi. Ngimia na waizigi e mwadi. There is a nice way to tell someone. Let's say I'm with you and you are training me. I am there la la la la. But then, you're like eh have to make three sessions. Unazana hi ambia,zi. Unazana kumusho maze. Ta utia huwa ina itaji kazi za hindi ari. Okay. Almost everyone can sing, but it depends on what you are singing. First you should know your voice. Kutuene stylega, niya songi. Kwa, unahcha kimsekami hamizi, aza kwenwa kwamakama ya Kris Brown, Soutya kwa hevezi. May voice kuna... Nauxainbama mo nanaf��ikan. I know my voice. Kenoha ni naisainba only R&D, lafu wala ni naisainba only African. True, it can be all the way. A laf kuna pio we nneizei in back troops. Across? Kuna we nya kuna vocal range poor, kuna we ni sautya wa kulitya wiko pua ngeza, kua ngeza vari, but most people na pata, kuna specific voice, kuna sautya ku we ni neneza blende nha specific But�o ni ni kawku e lisi weni Chris Brown na kikuza affanya gengeto na tom boy. Eeeh, puwa. Anna za pito na kina epic kwa chat. Ujue tu stile ya a ko, ujue tu stile ya a ko? Ujue tu voise ya ako in afitu api. Yes, you see force. No, it's nice, it's now back to your career. I've been in the industry for eight years. I've been in a few collaborations, but I don't know if I can make it. In a come? In a come. Futuring, Ken Rezi. Yes. I don't know if I can make it. Ken Rezi? And he disappeared? Yeah, Rezi is the one who has a lot of ideas, but I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. So... You are ready? Yes. I embrace myself? Yes, I am ready. I want to make it. Rezi is the one who has a lot of ideas, but I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it since high school. And because of that, I don't know if I can make it. I don't know if I can make it. I want to make it. Make it. If you remember back at home, So, adikunad using boys wango flani akani onye shamaze, wei nye wu me kuatru to your dream. Nini msa ini apple, nika se ma story eka inrezi ni ni ni ni. So, wene, limpada ni kumchapia wene mi nifanoa kina, ya, wene nili kusho bidi. Misa kiwa na bidi ya kuhu. Ina bidi sa zingini anaku, anaku piga kajekumali anawaaza, kisha unasongo ki handa na ongezea bidi. So, ya li checki yo effort nini mtu mi amangoma zango, zileze ko YouTube, aka checki epe aka onaka zinadu, aka se ma... ai nango riku dungo omas, aka ngu siya po vasmo jamu otosa. Kali sana, kali sana. Now, in terms of content creation, before we premiere in a confitering, I can raise you by CEO. There's another song you did. I found it really interesting. Coconut. Oh. Ya, ya, uli kwa shumoga. Kuna bila umiji, nice atta kwa yo video. Kuliko kuna ndaji yasiku. Okay. Kuna checki mi, first of all, mufanya ngaumana, venye na feel. So, yo time ni ka get to, kuliko na ma story to. So, mi ni kanga li iki itu. Sinaiza at least, ya nika ni nice to, venye tu na sema li ni nice to, nika muwani, nika ni... Opa chiki. Mziki ni kujibamba. And then, as much as Pia ni kumashil, the first reason, kwa ni kukwamziki ni kujibamba. Ya, ni kujibamba. Kuhafan on it, ya. Ya, kuhafan. So, now in terms of that content creation, and that vibe creation as well. Onona, iniki tu ina laksa izi kwa, the gangaton. Ndi owa na tufanya big service, by putting Kenyan music back in the market. But now, you know, in terms of dirty lyrics, let's just be honest. Are they, aotaki kukwa more creative, na kujibamba na music, na na naji? I think ina nda, sana piyana edge, edge amse. Ndakuru di shabak, una kumuka weka mu, leo ni kukwa keja, weka, mizongu mazili kuwaji. Una tiki edge amse, kuna edge flanim sea kiwa, kuna asatene wea, ana fikiria. Nezode vitu zina, zina mnais, na iikua appealing to watu edge grupe ake. As you grow, uta notice, when you wata grow, wata achata na kuhimbais. Ya. I think part of it is growth. So creativity, ina nda na na eio line, vitu na fikiria, sana na vitu zina, na iis. Eio stage ya life, e nyewa. Mwale mu, you're very insightful. I never thought about it like that. Umeku wikiria, reishke. I just thought ni, omitutu ame boy gana, zitu kuwani kezi. Reishke zizu, relix. Ok, kuna wile, akinana ni no, ilkua na tizi, chini sana. Ya, iilkua na tizi, reishke zizu, reishke zizu, reishke zizu, reishke. Ya. Iipera kuwanara champion, matches trainer, chini, часть Coach и rollsk Io. Ya. Rekso fiikqRT mi na zo, wile upreig se, alzia kleto, wile upreig se, aikano niud Crushegi za pandiya Tift. ya na ua na sigana, kuna wumeto, kuna finha zapinha, ama ua ii naa tak odi, aikana na angirra. You need to persuade people of other languages to distribute tickets. This is MY name. The torpedo audience jump. On the other hand, Kwa 30 each one of you cannot relate to their contents. Laki ini, hindi lugaja una, hile makitiya woo, infaktu onea whese sana kwa yo, koa targeti ya wana dai. A undi, a undi in goma waze apa na. Nia vidzana ya un taga do. Ja yadazkize rumba. Ha ha ha ha ha haa haa. Ye Buddha, Buddha, Buddha. Ulauna wa rumba kwa yarni piwa na tuwana kwa isaiki tuchiele. If you really don't relate with it, then you're not the target. I like that, and on that note we're about to premiere your song, Fitchering Creek, I can raise it in a come. But we also had a question for the day before we conclude. Why do you think most of the Kenyan youth are unemployed? I think mostly we're well down to system and cover. I think we're well down to system and cover. So we find out that the problem is that most of the youth can't make it. There's a unit of purpose, and I lay with struggles. If you're lucky, you can make it, you can find a hassle. We can't say we're well down to system, but we're well down to system. So mostly system, we check it, and I advise that the situation will be bad, or even better, bad things will be the case, for the youth to go to the market, and if they had provided you with an opportunity, then you can't live in that state because you can just go to the market. So I hope you're watching this, so jobs can be the problem. Infact these are people who also have businesses. So I think the system we will be in is that that when the cost is high, Ukiwa na biz, tu seime una uza maiai, umeya mua sasa wewe ni hasla kabisa, wezi ka home, okamua uuse tipa leke kibanda uze maiai na maa smoki. Una cheki wasewengi wana pita, wona wana ini market, kumbe awa se wana tembe awa kienda kibaruwa, juwana save fair, wata toa pido ya kubai maiai na maa smoki. Una gate, kamakuna do ina circulet pwa kwa ekonomi, ina kwa hard ata kufanya business na wana cheki wena toa na frustret zile business kubwa.  Hala kwa wana wana uuse waka lezi, misia meji tuma kata futa capitala kachu kualon ma deni anzi shebe asyara, ekonomi na nyonga bizi ake kisha na baki bila, na baki na deni kishuna muita lezi. Sipwa ukimeki amu kifani kiwa elewa strugglesa wasewengine. Yes. Shaskia, shaskia. Nakombiwa, nakombiwa mualimwa. I told you he's the CEO, he's very insightful, love you p. Now this is his brand new song featuring Ken Rizi in Nakomb.


Some countries don't want to take the position that paternity fraud needs to be stopped. France passed a law saying that men could not get a paternity test without permission of the child's mother. What? Does that make sense to anybody? She's the person who had the affair. She's the person who lied to the guy. She's the person who had multiple other potential candidates. Is she going to agree to a paternity test that will expose the truth? Nope. Is the guy risk going to jail to get legally admissible evidence that he could then use to sue her? I don't tell people what to do when there's law that's against them, but I tell them, I says, you know, we as men, we tend to be pretty good at risk assessment calculators. What will it cost you to pay her for another 15 years of ever increasing payments cause she's not gonna be happy with the current amount if you start making more money? Then you need to make a quality informed decision. Do you want to remain trapped?


I was one of the early directors of the Cinnamon Institute of India. At that time, the two Poonawala brothers, their wives and Dr. Jal Mehta, who was the vice chairman, the chairman of course was Dr. Cyrus Poonawala, and I, we were six initial directors of the Cinnamon Institute, an association which I treasure and I have great admiration for Dr. Cyrus Poonawala, who is fortunately both a commerce graduate and has done a PhD in medicine. So that gives him that dual advantage, which has made the Cinnamon Institute and him one of the most successful in the world. As you know, the Cinnamon Institute can proudly say that one out of every two children in the world are vaccinated by it. And what is special about the Cinnamon Institute is there's a certain philanthropy behind it because their pricing is excellent. So when you price the best product at practically the cheapest price, you're virtually forcing every other large company in the world who wants to compete. So this humanitarian service is unique. I was toying with the idea of going to Poonawala for a day, getting vaccinated and coming back. But as it happened, my sister who lives here and my brother-in-law had come here a few days ago and they were for another consultation. But Dr. Naik told them that since you are here, why don't you get vaccinated? And they did and they were so happy with the way everything was done here and the facilities that were offered for the vaccination that they talked me into not going to Poonawala and saying it's as good as anything here and that is how I happened to come here. And I can't tell you how pleased I was from the minute I entered because first of all, when I got the vaccination, I didn't even know. I happened to ask the lady that vaccinated me, are you a doctor or a magician?  And the facilities here, the people I've interacted with, the friendliness, the time that's been devoted, the whole generosity of the movement has been quite unique and an experience that I will never forget.


Are your lights out? After a major storm, it's our job to get them back on as quickly and safely as possible. But before we can do that, hazards like downed trees, fallen lines, and other damage have to be dealt with first. Once it's safe to do so, a crew member will get on site to study the cause of your outage. Once we know what we need to fix it, a crew carrying the right tools will be dispatched to get you back to streaming, working, learning, and living. We hope you have our word.


This is one of the cool things about ClickUp is that you can have a task in multiple locations. So let me close out of this. I'm gonna select this, and this is some of the things that you can do. You can set watchers, set signes, set status, set tags, invert to subtasks, and move to multiple S. So this is what we're gonna do is we're gonna go into the sprint folder, and sprint one, and we're gonna actually add it. So this is also a paid feature. I'm discovering this all. So it's actually a paid feature to have it in multiple lists now. So if I go in here and try to add it to another list, it is a paid feature. So fortunately, it looks like you can only move it to the sprint. So maybe sprints aren't as useful as they once were on the free version. They do also have these other functionalities as well. So let me just show you these. So they do have whiteboard. So what a whiteboard looks like is a test whiteboard, create one. And so you can do these different templates. So say we wanna use a flow chart. So you can illustrate what things look like, zoom out, move things around. I get really weird looking in a website. All these different functionalities all within it. So a great way to probably visualize things. Maybe you're in a meeting and wanna share ideas at a sticky note, at text. So all this great functionality right within. And then you see it, it's now a whiteboard for everything. And you can probably do that on the individual lists folder. I believe whiteboards is also like, you get to use it a couple of times before it becomes a paid feature. So it's something to keep in mind.