Why women should do only fans? Women should do only fans because they can earn a lot of money. I think their family will be absolutely fine if they sit down and have that discussion beforehand. What if they're not okay with it? Then cut them loose.  Yeah, maybe not yet.   No, put the picture of the number that I was saying over my mouth. Marty just said our address. No, we need to hide that. Otherwise, I'll give out your addresses. You don't even know where I live, bro. Yes, I do. That's a facade. That's a facade address. Do you remember that guy? Nothing but a facade.   We got a jam-packed episode. We got a lying segment. We got Matt's dream diary. The great debate returns. Bamboo's all his back. And the voicemail segment we've shortened down a little bit. And guess what? How famous are we segment? We're going to do it fortnightly. So you'll see that again next week.  That's how crazy it's going to be, bro. Speaking of shitting ourselves, it was Matt Brown's birthday over the weekend.  I'm 37.  Dude, we did some dangerous shit in between the watching of the U.S. today. That was a cool, chilled day. Yeah, I must admit, I like days like that. It was me, Michael, Matt James. We all just came here, watched the UFC, got a bit high, and then we went and played outside a little bit. And the fights were really good. Yeah, and James nearly killed himself by shooting. Oh, my God. It was literally a meter away from hitting him. Not even that. Like I was standing right there half a foot from James. It was terrifying. Oh, he couldn't see. Yeah. That's why I was like this. I was like, oh, my God, we nearly lost the friend. But the tree did stop it from going, reaching like maximum velocity. Stupidly, that was an actual arrow. I didn't take the tip off. So it would have just gone straight through him. Yeah. Sorry about that. That's okay. How was your birthday? What did you get and what happened to you? No, I had a good birthday. I'll start with work.  She like went above and beyond for my birthday.  You did nothing. You cut that out. No, because I don't want that on there. Molly chambers. But no, she went above and beyond. And she can't have that on there. Leave the laughter in though. Yeah, leave the laughing. We really can't have that. Because she watches. Yeah. They have a shoulder. Molly. Molly Meldrum. And everyone at Wholesome were above and beyond they decorated my desk and they got me a little card. They have the same sense of humor on their own. Does everyone at your work, just to be clear.  They printed off photos. I saw that.   And it'll be a picture of me on the set. And yeah, you can just tell that they're like, not sure what's going on there. Matt Brown is on 9,900 followers, by the way, guys. So if you want to get these, and he's been stressing me, pulling me aside Marty, I'm so close, please, can you please? Please just help me, help me, help me, please, help me. So guys, let's get Matt to 10K and follow him at Matt Brown, 1111, four number ones, all right.  Because man, they've been relying on that. Would you say at wholesome, they are quite wholesome? No. Oh, okay. And also, would you take one of the ones out from your Instagram tag if you could? So it's three is a better number than four. No, I want four ones over three. There you go. It's either no ones or four. Four's too famous now.   All 9,900 of them. So yeah, Matt, he's burnt down the weekend. And now we just played a bit of golf, didn't we? Oh, man, played some bad, bad golf. Yeah, I played really, really badly too. It was off-puttingly bad. It was like not at a level where I just wasn't enjoying it. So I just had to have a couple of holes off every now and then. But the wee cookies were nice. He just kind of chilled and it was really nice course, Pine Rivers. So you just kind of lie there and watch the highness, you know? Yeah, shout out to Troy from Pine Rivers, legend.  Troy had a couple of yarns, didn't he? One or two or three or four or five or six or seven or eight or nine or ten yarns. We've got two hours free at the golf simulator. Yeah, he's given us two hours free at the golf simulator. Hour of chat, hour of golf. Exactly right, mate.  And here we are.  Three website videos, trolley curling, bloody. Oh, my God. The like trying to solve world first.  Yeah, that was a different one. That was so funny. What was the third one?  No, no, no, that wasn't last week. Locky was here to film and it was, um, what do we film? Oh, what about the heckers checkers?   I think it's hard to tell when you stoned out of your mind. Also, one amazing thing we're doing. We are doing a $50,000 giveaway on our website. OK, this is not like $50,000. This is the biggest giveaway we've ever done. All the money you website members give us. We're very grateful for and we're going to give some of it back to one person. All you have to do is be signed up to the website to be in the running. So Matt's not currently, you can't win. You can't win 50 grand if you ever had 50 grand in your life. That is life changing. Yeah, that is where like you could buy a house. We thought about we thought about this, right? And we're like, let's let's make it an amount of money. This is a big gamble. We aren't like Michael. Michael is we went back and forth on this. OK, this is this was not an easy decision. $50,000 is still a lot of money to us. OK, but that's what we're doing. We're going to give it back to one of our website members. So if you want to sign up and be in the running for it, all you got to do is just be signed up. Even if you're in the 21 day free trial when the winner is announced, you are still in the running.  Sorry, what would you do? Basketball cards. No, that'd be towards a house. Really? Yeah. It's a deposit for a house. So basically we are buying you a house. That's what we do here. Half of Bitcoin. No, that's sorry. I'm sorry. I guess we're giving you half of Bitcoin. Yeah. But what would you do? If you saw most of that, say it again. Please don't. A little bit. That cookie hit far too early. I put it towards a house. What sort of house? One with a roof. Wow. But doesn't leak. That'd be cool. So can I sign up and win that technically? Yeah, you could. But to be honest, like I thought about this. I imagine if because we have this program that picks it. Yeah. So imagine if you know the email that I'm signed up with to our website. Imagine if that one. And then we look at if I if I genuinely paid myself. Look, everyone, I win the money. That reminds me of a draw we did once. Oh, yeah. And you were picking out the name, saying it before it came out.  We did a giveaway. It was so cringe. We did we had and all the names individually written on little pieces of paper. There's thousands of them in this spinning thing. And as we're putting the names in, I just picked one out and read it. This person is going to win. Throw it in. We just spin the thing, spin the thing, pull it out.   It's like one in a two thousand chance. Yeah, dude.  It looked like we'd rigged it at a charity event. And so we had to we had to rip that up and do the whole thing again. And I didn't know that we did. We did give it to that guy a lot about that. I'm pretty sure that we're like, oh, let's just see. And we picked out another one and it was him again. He had multiple in there. Really? Yeah. I made. No, I made that up. OK, thank you. So what a boring end to that story. I'm just lying. Speaking about lying, let's get into the sponsors. Oh, yes. Now this they're doing a one time offer. You're promoting your health and you're also they're going to give away fifty thousand dollars. Who is a G1? Really? I haven't heard about this. That's a lie. All right, everyone, listen up.  Yeah. Well, there's probably a good chance that they won't take an age one. Am I right?  There you go. Proofs in the pudding. So if you are like if you are living and you want to stay living, go to age one. OK, use our discount code fully actual. That gives you this health powder with seventy five vital nutrients and minerals in it that you cannot get from a diet. Baby, how are you going to get you from a diet? Baby, that's it.  I just can't get free travel pack, baby. G1. It's a subscription. It rocks up your front door every month. They have one a day, baby.  Yes. Hey, yeah. Look at all of us. Also, $50,000 giveaway from them. Maybe that might Michael might be confusing that with the $50,000 we're giving away. So that it's all a bit of confusion there. But it's the link in our buyer. OK, click the link in the description.  There's so many people. The word about age one spreading around like a virus, bro.  I have it two times a day now. That's too much. You could die. I'm just kidding, everyone. Well, do you have cold sores twice a day? No, no, age one before boxing and then before a workout. I don't think you're meant to have more than two doses. I read the packet like you can. I swear, it's definitely. I have to start having 10. Yeah, I'll start having 10 packets a day. I'll say what happens. Anyway, there you go, guys.   That should be the tagline.   Dude, even like bread vegetables, pesticide. Dude, look at like bread now. Like I saw this the other day, too. You know, if you buy blackberries, fully put me off berries in general. Now you buy blackberries, non-organic ones. And if you juice those blackberries, you could use that juice to spray the next crop of blackberries as pesticides. That's how much they absorb the pesticides.  Yeah, I don't. Well, I'll never help you. I've had so many back. Dude, so have I. So have I, but I'll stop now. I hope from that's OK. Yeah, I know. But like it's like trip. Yeah, it's OK. I did hear from James's mum if you if you dilute them in baking soda and water, that it's the best way to get rid of it.  It is. I know. And then they taste like cake, bro. It is a lot of work, but cake is good.  Look after yourself. Yeah.     We've spoken about this at length, how you can start to look after yourself.   The link is in the description. Oh, it's too expensive. OK, we'll have 20 percent off. How's that for the actual 20 20 percent off? I've sliced that off for you.  It'd be a substantial amount. So one fifth of the price is gone. And that's on us. We'll take that. We'll take that cost and we'll eat it. So get on manscape.com.  OK, I'm sure there's something in there for you as you reach your thirties, you know, his head start to grow.  Now, I think for that, you show it in your nose. Oh, God, so nice. It's clear for Coke, too. Now you can do the cocaine without any obstruction, just a smooth gliding as the rack sticks to your nose walls and absorbs into your soft tissue straight into the bloodstream and straight into your brain to deliver maximum dopamine surge. You can also shave your balls out fear of cutting.   Ah, and it's all it's all good, man. Well, yeah, the cocaine does help. But if you have a thing about this, if you if you shave your balls, sex is way better. You got nowhere to.  Man, I don't. Oh, man, you're right, bro.   Yeah, they're weird. They go like, yeah, real curly. And they're hard like tree roots. And all the sweat from sport starts to stick to it. So you get like compact dead skin cells in the base of your body.  Yeah. And not dreadlock.   That never happened to anyone. That's never happened to anyone.  Manscaped fully actual 20 for 20 percent off. That's never happened to anyone. It's also for women out there with huge, huge tits. Hairy one for a huge breasted lady. All jump on manscaped. No, I think. Man, I think they do. I think they do cater to all tit sizes, but huge, massive breasts. Hairy ones. Yeah, they are preferred. So anyway, there you go. Look, that's that's manscaped for you. So also for women. Let's move on. Let's have a quick bomb break, actually.   And we'll be right back with the lying segment. Matt's dream diary in the great debate. That's right, Michael, which means it's time for the lying segment, everybody. A segment that we don't plan beforehand. We're going to discuss now which friend we're going to call and who we're going to lie to, Emile. I'll do James. We'll say we're going to cancel bamboozled for today and he's just finished preparing. And I can't I can't I couldn't even I couldn't even bear to hear his response to that. It would break my heart so much.  I know we're calling Ryan and light of Ryan. What could we say to Ryan? Tell him that we're not doing the podcast. Let's I've got it. Let's tell him, hey, dude, just let you know you can have an early mark today. No, we don't know that you get to leave like two an hour and a half before he normally wait. But then we say, sorry, mate, we're just lying and you've got to stay for the rest of the day and we see his reaction. Let's call him. Oh, man, this is hard. I'm torn or torn in harm. What about you? You say, hey, what are you doing tonight? There's a worms tournament on in the city. He would know that's a lie. OK, but like I like where you go. Oh, we could do. No, that's too mean. I can't lie about worms stuff. Worm stuff is very important. Oh, I was going to say, imagine if I said, hey, we're all I just heard what he said. What about you? What about look, we haven't you say, trading cards are dumb.  You don't. You've never been top ten at something in the world. That's fair. That's fair.  Hey, what are you saying? I'm not. No, no, you're getting up there. Are you going to? You're going to marry. He doesn't take skill. It's just buy, see if you get a good thing. Buy, see if you get it. Yours and take skill either. Mate, let's look at our board. If I spent as many hours of you have on there, easy. No, no, there's no skill to it. My yeah, you're our match play even. I'll give you $50. I'll give you $50. I'll let you. I won't train for a year and you can play all year and catch up and then I'll play you and I guarantee I'll be your worms. I will beat you. Oh, you can't play for a year. You wouldn't be able to do that. Yeah. No, that's my whole point. I want him to shake hands.  OK, look, I'd pay 50 K. And worms is very important. Look, we're off topic. We need to think of someone alive.  Yeah, I guess so trusty, right? He's going to probably be editing or looking at this like through. It's like, like, I think back in like, remember when we were coaching, if someone said, you can go home early, dude, I would be just immediately filled with such joy. That's what I mean. It's like it's the it's the greater risk. Like, oh, it's the sacrifice in any joke. Someone has to be sacrificed. If you call it, OK, I'll do it. I'm sorry, Ryan. Watch your feet. They didn't just I'm sorry. He's going to know it's a play. I'm I'm thinking he's going to. All right, he's going to know it's a lie. All right, guys. So what we're doing and why wouldn't you just walk out there and tell him? Yeah, exactly. What's the reason? We'll just say we're we're just we're just planning the podcast. Well, it turns out like you can go home early today. We won't be. But don't make it sound like he's fired or anything. We won't be needing you anymore. We could lie and say, oh, my God, no way. I'm afraid we're going to let you go. Oh, I can't even do that to you, right. But we're going to make it out that you think that you're going home early right now and you're not. I'm sorry. Yeah, maybe we can just say maybe just call him back. I like we're finishing up early today. Yeah, we're just OK. Yeah, that's good. Here we go. We're finishing up early. Here we go. Hey, dude. Hey, dude, how's it going? Yeah, good. We're just finishing up now, dude. And we just got to do the prank call. But I reckon if you want, man, you're sweet to have an early mark today. Oh, really? Yeah, fully, dude. All right, sweet. Oh, my God. You're here to fight. He sounded so important. Like you guys only just started. You're here to fight. I couldn't lie for too long with you, dude. I felt too mean. I felt too mean. Seeing Michael's face.  But yeah, dude, we still got time here. I'm sorry. But, yeah, for a moment, did you think you were going home? Yeah, I did a bit of it. It sort of sounds like I'm in a microphone right now. Oh, true. So you sort of. But there you go. Sorry to didn't thank you. Yeah, sorry. No, no, that's OK. See you, dude. We'll let you get back to work. Yeah, you get back to work. Oh, watching Michael's face as each line came out. He was struggling. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, dude, like, yeah, it was just it was hard to do. This is fucked. You know, watching you lie to Ryan, you struggled knowing that you couldn't lie to James like you're like, no, I couldn't do that.  Oh, I don't know.  No, there is no excuse. No, you're right. I want to talk to you. I'm a lesser friend. No, I want to talk to you about these. I have had that thought. Like, why why is it funnier to me when when certain friends get hurt?   But James is just such a shining beacon of like hope and joy and positivity that I don't know. I don't know. It just it hurts me to see something so pure. Something bad happened to something. You should have that attitude to all human beings. No, because none of us. None of us are anywhere near as pure as James and you know that. Oh, yeah. Well, I agree. But that's my reason you should still hurt him. Have you seen Aquaman? He's like that. Yeah. He's like one of the Aquaman, the the entourage version. Yeah. Anyway.   OK, that's how special and rare this is.  If you want a chance to win 50 grand, we have to have biggest ever giveaway on the website. We're going to do a sign up. If you sign up as a regular member, you're one entry into winning. If you sign up as a premium member, you get 10 entries. 10 10 entries as to win the 50 K.   That is life check. That's a whole new life. That's like a whole new world work. That's the most money that's ever been given away ever. And it's hard for us to like this is risky for us. Like if this doesn't pay off, we're it's going to take like months and months to recoup these losses.   But we want to see one of you guys.  So it's our way of giving back, paying it forward if you be. And also, we're going to fly you out here and you're going to live with Matt for three months. You don't have to do that last bit. But if you want to, you can. It's probably a lie, guys. I would watch out for that one. But the 50 K is not a lie. Really, really want to come and live here with me. If she I guess, you know, it'd be painful. It'd be higher. Would you have someone live here? Would you have? Yes, the winner live here for three months if we paid you two grand. Yeah. What do you get? We should just get the peak. The most obnoxious and personal. And I'll tell you why I said yes, because you've stipulated no rules.  Boom, self high five.  Yeah, that was pretty, that was pretty, pretty. All right, anyway, on to Matt's dream diary. This is where Matt writes down the dreams that he has. They're so confusing and strange. He doesn't get them. He doesn't get it.  And they're weird and scary and Matt's worried. His girlfriend's crying. He's got a girlfriend now. It's sexy. One night in Bangkok and the world's your sexy dreams. All right, this is Matt's most recent dream. It was time for my weekly appointment with my therapist named Grotch. I was keen and anxious to tell her about my latest dreams. Grotch was also always great at analysing my dreams and relating them to the huge number of mental illnesses and conditions I have. I'd known her for years and consider one of the few people in my life I could actually trust Grotch saved my life. Dr. Grotch, we'll see you now, Matt, said the receptionist. Thank you. I smiled nervously and went into Grotch's office. Morning, Dr. Grotch. Please, Matt, just call me Grotch. Sorry, Grotch. Dr. Grotch just comes to naturally just Grotch for you. Dr. Grotch for other patients, but Grotch just for you. Grotch, it is Grotch. Grotch had a way of making me feel comfortable and at home. I felt safe telling Grotch anything. So anyway, Matt, what's been on your mind? Yeah, well, as you know, my dreams have been very incredibly vivid and real, but also terrifying and confusing lately. And I've noticed a pattern in the last few. Matt, that's actually good news. If there's a pattern, that means it's easier to identify a cause. So what is the trigger in your dreams lately? Well, to be honest, it's kind of strange. Grotch lowers her no pattern pen and leans forward. Matt, it's me, Grotch. You can tell me anything. I felt silly for even hesitating. I knew Grotch would understand. OK, well, I've been having these nightmares where it's like a normal dream. But then I end up always having Down syndrome. Even if having Down syndrome isn't relevant to the storyline. Like a few weeks ago, I was a cockroach and for no reason at all at the end of the dream, I find that I have Down syndrome. I glance up and see Grotch. She looks a bit different. She's biting her bottom lip and she was going red in the face. Grotch, are you OK? Grotch nods, but doesn't speak.  And yeah, there was another dream where I where I had Down syndrome as a baby and so my mother rejected me. I look up in shock. Grotch was fighting back laughter. What do you want? You think this is funny? Grotch, Grotch burst out laughing. She laughed hysterically and was rolling around her chair as she struggled to breathe. I'd never seen anyone laugh so hard. I was heartbroken. How can Grotch of all people be reacting like this? She's openly laughing at me. Grotch, please help me understand what this means. Grotch's body is still spasmed with laughter, but she managed to point to a table in the corner of the room. I couldn't see anything obvious, so I stand and walk toward what she's pointing at. There's nothing on the table except a small handheld mirror. I pick it up. Surely this can't be what she's pointing at. Is it this Grotch? Grotch still doubled over in laughter and isn't even trying to muffle her laughter. She was laughing loudly and uncontrollably. She's laughing so hard, she still can't talk, but she nods at my question. I look at her confused and then I turn and look at the handheld mirror. I see my reflection.  No, it can't be.  I touch at my face to see if it's real and it is. Everything on my face has just kind of moved in a bit closer together and I had a full blown down syndrome. I look up at Grotch and she's laughing even louder now. I look back down at my down syndrome reflection and feel myself start to shake with panic and despair. Why? Why is this happening to me, Grotch? Click and then I wake up from my nightmare.  That was way too real. Why do I keep dreaming about having down syndrome? And why was it a wet dream? Oh, man. I knew where it was going and I got excited. Oh, Grotch.  I don't know what's going on here, Matt, but yeah, I think maybe talk to someone. It's like the dream's kind of like your subconscious telling you you need to talk to someone about this. Zoom in on Matt's face right now and see if you can tell what he's thinking because I can. He's nervous. He's thinking about how how others will perceive this. He's scared about his dream out there being out there in the real world, knowing that people will judge him for the thoughts that he's having. And he's scared. He's dead scared. He doesn't even want to make a sound right now. Anyway, let's move on. The great debate between me. This is the great debate. Yeah, that's good. All right, guys, as you know, a quick bomb break before this, I just need a quick. That's all to look at himself in the mirror because he's worried that he's got down syndrome.  Oh, and we're back. And like we played the jingle of the song before, this is the great debate. This is where I give the boys a very controversial topic. And one will argue for that argument and one must argue against that argument. Do we have a controversy? Do we have controversy last time we did? Yeah, by by the. Yeah, yes, but don't measure our views because it's not our views. It's our skills at debating because we might get the pro and we're con and we might be at the con and we're actually pro. Yeah, so guys, just important to remember, if you're triggered easily or offended easily, this is not the segment for you. Skip ahead. This isn't the world for you. The boys are trying to win a debate here. These are not their actual opinions on these subjects. OK, remember that. Do not take this out of context. These boys are just want to win. They don't care about the things that they say. It's they don't think it. All right. We're very. Man, it didn't really actually sound anything like this song. I hear in my hand, I have the arguments for and against them.   All right. So paper says rock to see who gets to pick which hand. This is paper rock. I was both paper. It's so.  How are you? I don't really give me much advantage, does it? No, not really. Which hand you want this one? I got what I wanted. Do you know what's in this? So the argument, we don't know what the argument is. To be able to get exactly. All right. So Michael is against this argument. And that is all these arguments. I already know. I already know it's bad because of Marty's little four.  Today's discussion is women. Should all do only fans? All women? Yes. All women should do only fans. Oh, sorry. So your four only fans, Michael's against only fans. So it makes sense, everyone. So all women should do. Oh, sorry. Sorry. You're saying women should your it's good that women do only fans. So it doesn't all women have to. Yeah, sorry. Women should let me rephrase women should be that it should be completely fine and not taboo for any woman to want to do only fans. And Michael's arguing against that. All right. The four gets to go first. So Matt, I'll give you your minute and a half. Starting in three, two, one. You give me like 30 seconds to prepare. Yeah, that's right, baby. Two minutes. That's the aim of the game. Maybe. All right. Come on. This this is your bread and butter. You know, it's not. It is. You love only fans. How many you subscribe to 15, 16? Never. Come on. A 20 seconds gone. No, don't start me again. We haven't started yet. Start me again. How do you? OK, are you ready? This is not how the rules are meant to be played.   Three, two, one, go. Why women should do only fans? Women should do only fans because they can earn a lot of money doing only fans. Are there any cons to doing in your opinion? Now, there may be what some people would call cons, but I don't think so. I think if they have a mature, you know, mindset towards every con that comes up them, I think they'll be fine. What about their family? I think their family will be absolutely fine if they sit down and have that discussion beforehand. What if they're not OK with it? What if their father, her father, cut them loose?  Your body is your body and you should do it with it whatever you want. And if only fans is the way that you're going to make a living and make a lot of money so you can support yourself and maybe your family as well, I think it is all your choice. So you're saying that they should support the family as well? If they're 100 percent, do you think it affects their family if they do only fans? No. Why? Because, like I said, if you sit down and have that conversation, explain why you're doing it and the benefit and the benefits that you get from it, it shouldn't affect them. Financial benefit. Yeah, the financial benefit vastly outweighs the effects that it has. What if they have a son and the son, the friend brings a picture of the son of the mum naked to school and says, hey, look at this. This is not she's going to sit him down. Don't worry, son.  And time three, two, one, begin. OK, first point. With only fans, I'm pretty sure as a company, they would take, let's say, 20, possibly 30 percent. If they're a really bad company, like certain companies, I know they might take 50 percent. Now, as a person using that platform, preferably I would say women use it. Now, you could either be smart and make one third to half of your money more and start your own website and do whatever you need be on that website, as opposed to using the platform only fans where, look, I think you should maybe try and make more money and post elsewhere. So you're saying only fans is a bad business decision, but there's nothing wrong morally with doing only fans. Look, I'm saying I'm not saying I'm for. I'm saying don't use it. Well, the argument was not to use only fans and I don't think they should be using only fans. OK, well, what about the good shit? Why do you think ethically it's wrong? OK, ethically. Look, well, look, I'm just going to say if there were three angels in front of me, I'm not saying you're not an angel if you don't use if you if you are the angel that does only fans. But if there was another angel that was a doctor and another angel that was a lawyer that did good shit, I'd definitely hang out and say that those well, it's more fulfilling. It's more fulfilling with those those sort of angels. So you're saying only fans is not fulfilling. It's definitely not as fulfilling as, say, saving a life. Or helping a lot like they could physically create life. If you don't use protection anyway. How I expected better, Michael, I expected better. That was disgusting. I made an argument and I sold it. I said, do not use only fans. And I also said hit my clock and shut him up three to one. You got a minute. Well, your first argument of percentages that should take 20 percent.  You said 30. I said 20 to 30. So I was right. You said 30. Anyway, we can go back. I was right. Anyway, look it up maybe before you make that argument. I went 20 to 30 to possibly talking extra 10 seconds. Go. Also, fulfillment. Are you telling me you are not getting fulfilled making that content?  I only a fool would think that you are not getting. It's like getting another 10 seconds. Take a point anyway. So you're saying it is fulfilling. It's filling or fulfilling? It's both. So you're saying it's fulfilling? Yes, indeed. All right. Anything else? How can you elaborate on that for me? No, Michael, Michael, I will take a point if you speak. How can you not three times? He's provoking conversation. He is. I said he's wasting my time. But you could waste your time by signing up to an only fans now. So you're saying it's a waste of time? No, I'm saying you could waste your time by signing up to only fans. Yeah, I'll let you know what I've won.  You're in such a strong position to your life. I thought I was in such a strong position. I could just go with whatever I want. I could just have one stab. I could just have a bat. Whatever I want. It's good to do only fans, but it's a waste of time.  OK, last one. What do you got? Here we are, Michael. Three, two, one, go. All right. Going to a person that chose the lawyer path. You just sold your own case out, buddy. Case in point. Sorry, I'm very confused. Can you explain that? OK, I was trying to say that as a woman who's decided to become a lawyer, my lawyer just told me, called me up and said, you just lost that court case, brother. Why? I don't know.  So your argument for why women shouldn't do only fans is because your lawyer has called you and said that there's no case. That's what I think I was getting at, dude. Turn anything down, you got 20 seconds. OK, you helped me out with your argument and my argument was right. How? Because the lawyer said, the lawyer called me up. No, look, basically. No, is that he's done? That's got to be 20 seconds. Don't make more money. Start your own. Wait, wait, Michael. OK, so Michael's rebuttal was that his lawyer called in and said that there's no case or something and that's why girls shouldn't do only fans. Yeah, it doesn't really make sense, does it? Look, look, that was a... No, I put it there.  OK, that was both very shit, but Michael's was just slightly shitter because his rebuttal had nothing to do with anything.  You've you've he's passed you the 40 and you've knocked on.  Knocked on. I thought it would be a good, like, you know, when you're trying to explain something by saying a metaphor. Yeah, good metaphor. But now that that none of us understood that. So there you go, guys. So let me let us know in the comments do you think only fans is good or bad? Yeah, seriously, bro. And why are you there? Sign up to that.  Sign up to our only fans, which is our own website, the university of Michael dot com. Yeah, we've I think we've plugged that enough. Sorry. But yeah, go on. Next sign up. The next clown. All right, guys, we're going to have and yet another bomb break. Sorry about all the bomb breaks. Good because we need to get bamboos. All right, we need James to help set up bamboozled. So we will be right back with bamboozled. Maybe go and check if you've got down syndrome, Brown. Brown syndrome down. Down syndrome, Brown. Maybe that's a good shirt. Brown. Brown syndrome. Is that a good shirt? Brown. All right, my Brown hit it. It's bamboozled. Oh, yeah. Ready, three, two, one. No, no, not me. No, not again. Please. Yeah. I'm so confused. I can't see.  Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Check it.  Not me. Not me. Not me. Oh, I still got to learn it properly. That's very good. We have James here, who's hello, James. He's set up bamboozled. Sorry. And what do we got? I don't even need to introduce it to you because I made like a video.  I'm going to inject one of these three lollies with this hot sauce. If you're a website member, you would have seen Michael have a very small amount of this hot sauce the other day and nearly die.   So I'm literally pushing the middle of this lollie out. I'm going to fill that with hot sauce and then I'll plug it back up with the same white stuff.  No, not me. Not me. Not me.  Oh, my God. No, I'm sorry. But it has to entertain the rings. Okay, there's only 33% chance, okay? If you're optimistic about this. Look, I can't do this.   Just have a bite of it and then just see what happens. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, James is taking over.  Man, this is real hard. Best part is I've literally... Oh, sorry. I've literally forgotten which one it is. I've done that good a job.  I've made that I squished the ends on all of them because otherwise it would have been too easy to tell which was which. I'm very, very, very sad. There's a 67% chance you're not going to get it. That's not high to me. Who would like to go first? I will go first. I will go second. Wait, are you going first? I am scared. Wait, wait, wait, wait, should we all just... Oh, hang on, how do we do this? Be quiet at the same time because you're just... Yeah, because we're all just not... Wait, because we're all going to go for the same ones. We should all pick. You can either put one finger in, two finger in, or three finger. This is one, two, three. Let's see if we all just decide ourselves. Three, two, one. Three, two, one. We all chose two. That's so ridiculous.  I'll pick one. I want two. I don't want three. I have a feeling I'll take three, then.  Let's just get crazy. Wait, we're going one at a time, so one gets to go first, right? No, no, no, are we all eat together? And look at each other. They're going to be the glory.  I should have put chili in all three. Oh, that would have been the prank. That would have been great. That would have ended the podcast. OK, here we go. Ready on three. Oh, one, two, three, three. You got to eat it.   Is it that bad? Yeah, that's right. I do have memories. Make sure you do it in the mic. People need to hear your pain.  Did you know what happened there? Now, wait, mate, put your phone who do you reckon had it? Three, two, one, point, two. You think you had it was bamboozled?  I have a confession. I realized when I grabbed mine that I had it. So then I went to offer mats and I swapped them myself. Bang, you were bamboozled. Not only once, but twice.   So I would have had that. No, sorry. Which one did I grab originally? The second one. Yeah. Yeah, the second one was fucked. Why did you want the second one then? When we said, well, which one do you want? I didn't know. I only knew when I. I knew when I grabbed.   We've been so going to be trying to hold it together for a while. Oh, my God. Yeah, no, when I went to grab mine, when I was getting it, that's when I saw it was fucked.  It just looked a bit different and a bit felt moist. Yeah, I could not tell.  If that. Oh, I can hear it. Yeah, that was fucked. Jesus going, you've been bamboozled, baby.  If it's one of us, we would have at least tried to hold it together, but it's very that is like insanely hot.  You but it's basically liquid pepper spray for your mouth. It's fucked. Matt's going to be gone for a while. Yeah, he's out. He looked and he had a couple bites of it. And it was soaked on his tongue, a nibble of it. Man, imagine swallowing that. I was considering doing like a tablet.   But anyway, so that is bamboozled, guys.    So it's like, please leave lots of comments and lots of likes. All right, please. While Matt's not here, let's agree to this. If this podcast gets 700 likes, we both next week or after this comes out. So in two weeks, we both slap him on the thigh. On the knees and don't tell him why. No, not because he might have fucked knees, but on the thigh, on the thigh, each of us, we can't explain why. Yeah, if this podcast gets 700 likes, just while he's out, he's out like at the front with a hose in his mouth, pretty sure. Yeah. So in two weeks, so you hear this, right? And if this gets 700 in two weeks time, then slap it, he slap. Make that. So yeah, during the podcast, you'll do one and then I'll do one. And we can't explain it. But he's just like, OK, are you OK? Are you all right? He's got a spit towel. He's got a spit towel now.  What? What? What? What did you feel immediately? What did you feel? It was like, you know, when you bite into apples, no, like fire.  Oh, you know what? What food has that put that in there like that? I don't know.  She like all my lips are fucked. Like, how did he do that? I realized I could not tell the difference. No, I could. I saw something was up with that one, so I quickly grabbed his one. I'll give it to you anyway. Let's move on, right? Let's move on to a segment that we are doing fortnightly moving forwards. OK, let's do the voicemail segment, everybody. Hit it, Brown. Hit it, Brown. Come on, Brown. Hit it, Brown. Come on, Brown. Ringing.  The phone. All right. So this is a segment where you guys call zero four six six six zero two three oh three. Yeah, that's right.   As long as they're not too long winded, we might be able to play some. OK, so we thank you for all of the stories we've been getting. Some are like four minutes long, so we can't play them. All right, we've noticed the retention drops a bit during this segment. So we've got to try and shorten it up a bit. So please continue to send those through. Know that we will hear them, but they can only make it onto the podcast if they're a little bit shorter, isn't that right, Flayda? OK, do you want me to hook this up to the Bluetooth? Oh, Ringing. Are you OK, Matt?  His other lips. What are you doing?  Now, look, this is just someone's theory about what Matt's journal could actually be. He's dream diary. Oh, this is cool. Yeah, I think I've figured out Matt's dream journal. I don't think it's a dream journal. I think the Psychopath has a quick personality and at night it turns into his alter ego. And that journal is just a diary that is alter ego right about the things that Matt does during the day. I don't think Matt even sleeps. He's always awake between him and his alter ego.  That's just always awake. And his alter ego has down syndrome. Well, the boy's trip, he didn't sleep. So, there you go. He just sits on a couch like that. No TV on, nothing, no lights are on. He just sits exactly like that. He's awake all night. Chilly.  Then he just gets up and goes to work anyway. Now, this one is from the archives of fully actual back in the early days. You should remember and we all should know this is one of the OGs. We all love him, but there was a man. I'm not going to tell you the name yet. There's a man and this is the origin of that man and he has gone missing for a while, but he's back. And this is his message. Hello, everyone. This is Donut Films, also known as the man who sent my foot skin to your podcast about three years ago. This is your arm too. I've been a lot of other things, but I just want to come on here and tell everyone the truth and confirm some things. So, three years back, Matthew Brown started a rumor saying that I sent in my semen. That is completely false. I have never sent any cum. That was someone else, not me.  A lot of you were wondering why I stopped watching the podcast for a while. I think everyone in my school was bullying me. You know, when I first heard about it, I was pretty sick. As the years go by, I started maturing and realised this is a bit of a weird fuck. It's a bit of a freak. I kind of ruined my social life.  But yeah, I never sent in that cum.   Hang on, hang on, hang on.  You need to take account of that and apologise. Hang on. Donut Films. There have always been fans of you Donut Films. Dude, I've been fan. I love Donut Films. You have made a lie about the boy.  Will you allow me to reciprocate? Let's move on. Prank all time. I'm cute. Firstly, Donut Films is one to do a prank. So, I'm taking this with a grain of salt. What about Pepper? You think he's lying about it? I think he could be lying.  And trust me, I will hole hardly right now. I don't remember saying that, but he did not send Seaman in. And the whole podcast community loves Donut Films. He's a legend around these parts. Donut Films is one of the best like fans we've had. Some of the things he's said. He single-handedly kept the PO Box section. The segment alive in seasons.  He's built worlds.  And you should say that to them.  And if anyone replies, punch them in the face. Instagram and tell them to direct their hate towards Matt.   Send them to Matt and say that Matt wants to fight you. He wants to fight you every weekend. And Donut Films, I want an update.  If he's over 18, would you date him? Yeah, if he's over 18, we'll go on a date. There you go. Now, look, moving on. He is a relic. Thank you, Donut Films. But we're going to move on now to something that's been happening in the last few weeks. Should anger everyone. And mainly a guy. And if you're still with her, Bailey, after what she's done, then that's your own fault. But we have got update messages from Bailey himself. So, we've been trying to call Bailey and be in contact with him each week because he's got some bender stories to tell us. But his girlfriend gets in the way. The only way we're going to speak to you, Bailey, is through Emily. It has to be that way. I'm sorry. It's the only way we're going to talk to you.  Emily's a good girlfriend. And if you're just a mathematician by now, you know that it's been happening on Mondays, you should be with her. Or she should be over it. You should have said, Emily, come over to my house right now and she should be there. You should have rearranged your Mondays. Have it so that all the calls that go to her will be your phone or something like that. That's more tech. I like that. That's more reasonable. That is helpful.  All I want to do is tell my bender stories. He sent that. And then the next day, okay, he sent user missing out, Martin and Michael. And then this is on Tuesday, last day after he said, you've called Emily and she has let us all down. I'm back on this number.   And I don't love her.  Okay, lost control. I was angry because I want to hear your stories, Bailey. Bailey, we want to hear your stories, man, but we can only do it via Emily's phone number. So let's give her a buzz and see what happens. Well, we don't have his number. No, we're calling Emily. We do have his number. Right there. He texted us. We haven't saved it yet though. Prepare yourself, Emily. All right. Yeah, look, I've saved Emily's number. Yeah, Emily Bailey's girlfriend. Yeah, there we go. It's like the only number we have saved. Oh, it's a long unbelievable. She's probably not going to answer this way. This will be the person you're calling is not available. Well, let's leave a message. Please leave a short message and it will be sent as an audio message.  You've gone.   How could you do this? Which call you again week by week, Emily, and you keep letting us down. You couldn't even answer the phone. Yeah, Emily, you let us down. You should apologize. And we are too. I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm sorry. Now we call back. Indeed. No, I reckon that's it. She's had her chance, man. Yeah, we give her too much. You only get one shot. You only get one shot a week with us. Do you know what I mean? I think I just feel like she has to know, dude. The person you are calling is not available. There you go again, guys. Emily still has no answer the phone and she will not meet our demands selfishly. Selfishly. I just feel for Bailey in this entire situation.  She's sexually abusing her boyfriend by doing this. Imagine if they're still together. That's madness. We've just broken up a marriage. No, we've helped. We've pulled out the faults in it and we've saved his life.  She's out of new faults.  I don't even know how she walks. Yeah. Hopefully they have split up and Bailey sent us a message so we got your number. We'll give you a buzz. We've also got a new WhatsApp number for those people wanting to leave messages internationally. We've seen your comments, guys. And if you want to call the number, it's plus six one is the Australian code, but if you just want to send us a WhatsApp message, our WhatsApp number will be in the description.   It's prank call time. Yup. It's time for the prank call, prank call prank. It's time for the prank or we don't have a button, Matt. Sing, sing, sing. Your time is there for us to waste. Pick up your phone. It's prank call time. And this prank call is brought to you by our friends at Joe Fortune, guys. A really cool online. Thanks, Joe. Go and check his socials. He's doing heaps of giveaways at Joe Fortune. Go and have a look. And thank you for sponsoring us. And guys, just remember to please send us your email. If you've got an addictive personality, maybe give this one a miss, okay? Am I right or what? Thank you, Joe. Welcome to psychology. If this is an emergency. Hey, Georgia. So my name is Margaret. I haven't really ever done any kind of therapy before. So I'm not really sure what the process is, but I guess I'll just kind of get into it. So my son, he has quite a few learning disabilities. He's just turned into a teenager, so he's getting quite strong. He's really filled out. And I guess, yeah, he's becoming quite hard to handle at the moment. And even in public, I'm left feeling quite embarrassed and just sort of quite angry at the situations that he kind of puts me in. So are you feeling a little bit of shame around these feelings? I don't know if that makes sense or... Of course it does, yeah, absolutely. You are not alone in that feeling. Yeah, so I'm feeling really shameful and then I kind of feel guilt as well because there are occasions when I just can't keep it together and I kind of lash out at him. Not in public, but I kind of lash out at him and it just gets too much. I just clip him. A little clip out of the head. And then later on when I've calmed down I feel myself like I'm literally shaking. I don't really have anyone to talk to out of fear of judgement. So it's just becoming a bit too much if you can sort of see what I'm saying. Yeah, that's a lot on your plate. That's quite a bit. Well actually it can definitely have some time Yeah, he's been doing this thing recently. He kind of pretends he's a bear.  So it's just kind of coming to be able to deal with that. Just coming home after a long day's work it's just becoming a bit too much. So I really feel like I need some kind of way to help me curb my rage when it really gets me to that level. Yeah, sure. No, I can understand that. Unfortunately at the moment Margaret, I don't have anyone to recommend the books are currently closed with psychologists here. Oh, I'm sorry. I was under the impression that you were actually Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed right now. Are you not one of the working psychologists there? No, no, no. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. I've literally never called a psychologist before. So I just thought you kind of call and start chatting once they answer. Yeah, so I've gone and really embarrassed myself. Yeah, it's not good. That's okay. But I can definitely put you on a wait list if you'd like if we have a psychologist debate below the next couple of weeks. I've heard that before. Just how long of a wait is this going to be? Am I going to have to wait weeks? Or is it going to be a month? I'm not sure at this stage, but just bringing someone on board now. So it will just depend on their schedule and when they're able to start with us. But probably within the next four to eight weeks I would imagine. Okay, great. So when can I sort of get a confirmation of exactly when, what date, I can book in to see someone? I can get confirmation when they're starting with us. Okay, great. Is this the best number for us to reach you on? Yeah, that'd be perfect. Can you just read that back to me then? Yeah, 0466. 0602. Yeah. 303. Yeah, that's the one. Yeah, that's perfect. Thank you. So you guys will just give me a buzz when you think you've found an available swat with one of your therapists Okay, great. Yeah, usually within the next couple of weeks for short. Okay, great.  No problem at all. We'll be in touch soon, Margaret. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Take care. Bye. Bye. Dude! That is so rough. Oh, my God!  She's gonna tell that therapist.  She's amazing.  All right, so there you go, guys. Margaret might be going to therapy. We should do online therapy.  Let us know in the comments if you think that we should go ahead and do some online therapy. Or is they gonna say do it? Yeah, but there might be like, they're the ones who are gonna also be like if we've crossed that line. We don't know where the line is anymore. Is that bad? We pay the therapist, obviously, what they would usually get paid.  You're acting like it's an emergency service is like triple O. And we're stimulating the economy. That's not true. I didn't think about that. We're giving away 50 grand on our website. All you gotta do is sign up. Platinum members, you have a 10 entries. You get 10 entries for being a Platinum member. Regular members get one, okay?   That's right. You mentioned that earlier. Yeah, I know. I forgot to. Anyway, guys, please give us a 5-star review on Spotify, please. Because we're still not at 3K.  Are we at 3K? We might be. Should we check?  Don't ever say that. Imagine. No, no.  Matt's gonna rethink. That's a good idea. We're still at 2.9. We're going out with 2.9. That's hectic, boss.  Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe, please. A lot of you aren't subscribed. Do you listen? Please just smash that subscribe button, bro. Smash it, bro. Seriously, it helps us, bro, more than you realize, bro.  Have the best day in the world Where the best? And you've been given the best. Buy the best. Where the best? Sell 5-5. Where the best? Breast! T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T Breast!


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نحن في العالم الذي يتبع على مدينة مدينة فيها كما تقلقنا مع مدينة أولاً أردنا ما أريد أو أولاً مدينة لا تقلقنا أو مدينة نحن نذهب في أصدقاءهم ونحن مدينة ونحن فيها مدينة ونحن فيها نحن في مدينة ربيع الأول ونحن في مدينة ربيع الأول نتذكر أن مدينة لا تقلقنا مدينة لا تقلقنا مدينة لا تقلقنا مدينة لا تقلقنا ونحن في مدينة ربيع الأول نتذكر the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم ونحن نتذكره as a historical figure أو as a leader أو as a reformer like we remember historical figures and leaders and reformers we just remember them and say a few nice words about them and then we move on and live in our lives when we remember the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم we remember nubua we remember prophethood we remember isala we remember messengership we remember and celebrate الوحي والإلهي divine revelation we remember and celebrate human perfection in as much as a humanly possible the perfection of a human character as embodied in our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم we remember his seerah we remember his guidance we remember his character we remember and bring to our mind the feeling of the favor of Allah سبحانه وتعالى on us the bounty of Allah سبحانه وتعالى on us and the nima of Allah سبحانه وتعالى on us he is نعمة من الله بها علينا الله سبحانه وتعالى says in the Quran لقد مننا الله على المؤمنين إذ بعس فيهم رسولا من أنفسهم يطلو عليهم آياته ويزكيهم ويعلمهم الكتاب والحكمة وإن كانوا من قبلوا لفي ضلال مبين الله certainly favored the believers when he sent them a messenger from among themselves he sent them someone who is one of their own who recites his signs unto them and purify them and teaches them the book and wisdom while before time they were indeed astray they were indeed in manifest error in this manner Allah سبحانه وتعالى يتبعون the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم as a minna as a divine favor upon the believers and he said certainly God has favored the believers with this divine favor someone that comes to us and delivers a message يطلو عليهم آياته recite the signs unto them as is no addition no subtraction knowledge is transmitted as is no addition no subtraction and this has permeated Islamic knowledge when we quote people we quote them as is we do not add we do not subtract we do not put words in their mouths نقل المعرفة كما هي we don't twist the words we quote people accurately we transmit knowledge accurately we teach our children accurately we speak with each other in an accurate and precise manner no exaggeration no addition no subtraction وَاَيُو ذَكِّيهِنْ وَاَيُو عَلِّمُهُمْ they go hand in hand we don't wait on someone until someone has a PhD and working on Wall Street and we tell him come let's purify ourselves now it's too late but this divine favor is a special favor because it's a favor that has a before and has an after there's a time before the favor and there's a state and a time after the favor before the favor وَاِنْكَانُوْ مِنْ قَبْلُوْ لَفِيضَ لَالِنْ مُبِينَ prior to the favor they were in manifest error we were all in misguidance and after the favor we became guided it's a divine favor that transforms people from misguidance and to guidance and take them from misguidance and to guidance take them from error and ambiguity and to clarity لقد مننا الله على المؤمنين certainly الله سبحانه وتعالى has favored the believers the prophet is a divine favor that Allah gave to us and he is a favor that transmits the message delivers the message conveys the message as is and recites the scriptures so that we can recite as he recites when we move our tongue and we pronounce آ that's how the prophet moved his mouse when we open our mouse vertically to pronounce آ that's how we opened it we emulate him in his inhaling and exhaling when we say او المؤمن when we say او المؤمن الموستقين that's exactly how he opened his mouse عليه الصلاة والسلام when we say اي that's the exact اي he used to say there are people who are able to see the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and be with him and we are people who are with the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم by following his guidance and by reciting the Quran and the same way he used to recite exactly the same way because unlike other languages our language has been preserved we know for certainty when we recite the Quran in a particular way that's exactly how he recited عليه الصلاة والسلام him along with his companions in the same way and he delivered the scriptures as is and he explains and interprets the scriptures to his community when we say او ويطبق النص he is ينقل النص يتل النص يبلغ النص يفسر النص ويطبق النص and he practices the scriptures as it should be practiced along with his companions along with his community عليه الصلاة والسلام it's like the شريعة of Allah has been embodied in him he is a walking شريعة he is a walking روليشن صلى الله عليه وسلم he is a walking كرآن his character with the Quran كان خلقه الكرآن صلى الله عليه وسلم he is the تطبيق he is the application he is the application إسلام applied is the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم روليشن applied is the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم if you want to embody the names of الله سبحانه وتعالى in us الله is رحمان we want to show mercy الله is كريم we want to show karan الله is just we want to show justice if you want to practice the names of Allah سبحانه وتعالى in our life who do we turn to we turn to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم because we see that he practiced the Quran and he practiced the names of الله سبحانه وتعالى in the best manner possible صلى الله عليه وسلم so to the point that he was called الإنسان الكامل the perfect human being human perfection wherever you look at him from any angle you see perfection صلى الله عليه وسلم and he is also a mercy وما أرسلناك إلا رحمة للعالمين and we sent you not save as a mercy unto all people not only unto all people للعالمين unto all worlds صلى الله عليه وسلم he is a mercy the prophet عليه وسلم was never harsh was never in a state of revenge or vengeance whenever he is able he forgives he never hits anyone unless it's in the battlefield when people become Muslims he honors the most honorable people among them and keep them as leaders leading their community but we need to ask a question when is a mercy a mercy what does it mean to be a mercy when do we call a mercy a mercy a mercy is a mercy إذا كانت شافية كافية واتت في الوقت if I'm in need of mercy and the mercy comes a year later it's too late if I'm in need of mercy and the mercy came a year earlier I didn't need it then if I need a thousand dollar and you give me five dollars that's not mercy mercy has to be fulfilling has to fulfill all the needs of those who are seeking the mercy and a mercy is a mercy when it comes at the right time at the right moment in the right place and provides people with things that they're thirsty for they're hungry for it the Prophet ﷺ came at a time when everything was upside down when an earthquake hits it turns things upside down physically when the Prophet ﷺ came there was an earthquake but not a physical earthquake it said an earthquake that turned everything upside down that turned values upside down that turned life upside down that turned honesty and integrity upside down right became wrong and wrong became right an inversion of reality as we start seeing today an inversion of reality around us and everything the trust and integrity was gone character traits were taken to extreme were taken to the extremes either too little or too much there was no balance Allah ﷻ sent him at that time to restore everything into where they should be he is the minna of Allah ﷻ upon us he is the favor and bounty of Allah ﷻ upon us he is a mercy from Allah ﷻ and Allah ﷻ he is a fadal he is a favor and integrity he is a favor and grace from Allah ﷻ and Allah ﷻ commanded us to rejoice in the fadal of Allah and in the rahmah of Allah قل بفضل الله و برحمته فبذالك فل يفرح say in the bounty of Allah and His mercy in that let them rejoice when we remember Him we are rejoicing in all of that it is better than that which they amass it is better than anything we can collect when we rejoice and celebrate the Prophet ﷺ and remember Him we are rejoicing the fadal of Allah we are rejoicing the mercy of Allah we are rejoicing in in in in in in in revelation we are rejoicing in a human perfection after the battle of Hunayn the Ansar came to the Prophet ﷺ and he called for them why? because there was some of the Ansar said they saw and witnessed that the Prophet ﷺ started distributing the spoils of war amongst people people from far away and he was giving them and giving them and giving them and some of the young some of the youth amongst the Ansar said when things are tough we defend and we think when things are easy others are given the Prophet ﷺ called the elders of the Ansar and he asked him what is it what is it that I'm hearing he says they said they said this what you heard o messenger of Allah is something that young people who still have their teeth still to come out have said this as for the elders as for those who have experience in life they have never said this those who have little experience in life they do not appreciate the favor they do not appreciate they may not appreciate and be grateful to the favor that they see and witness every day but the elders of the Ansar they know they know how bitter war is they know how bitter the conflict between the Aus and Khazraj was they lived all that difficult time and then they witnessed that the Prophet ﷺ brought everything together brought all of them together they experienced misguidance and they witnessed guidance but those who have little experience may not see that the Prophet ﷺ told them three things and those three things summarized his mission as well as we read as we heard the ayah summarizing his missions يطلع عليهم آياتي ويزكيهم ويعلمهم to rejoice in the Prophet ﷺ is to rejoice in his person to rejoice in his أخلاق in his character to rejoice in his guidance and to rejoice in his message and mission and he told them يام عشرة الأنصار ألم تكونوا ضلالا فهداكم الله بي weren't you misguided and Allah ﷺ guided you through me as the first thing his message his mission takes people from misguidance and to guidance ألم تكونوا عالة فأغناكم الله بي you were in need and you weren't self-sufficient and Allah ﷺ made you self-sufficient through me that's the second aspect of his mission it empowers people to become self-sufficient and to become not in need of anyone else to depend on themselves and to cultivate everything they need in order to do everything and to take care of their own affairs and then he said ألم تكونوا متفريقين فألّف الله بينا قوليبكم ألم تكونوا متفريقين فألّف الله بين قوليبكم weren't you all in complete disarray disagreeing with each other and then Allah ﷺ brought you together through me تأليف القلوب do you know how hard is it to bring people together do you know how hard is it to make two people agree on something when we see hearts coming together this is only from Allah that's why we say أصول الإجماع is from Allah because as Imam Jouhain he says الإجماع is طرابط القلوب when hearts come together when the mushtaid imams agree on something this is not a human it cannot be human it's not a human factor it's Allah ﷺ guiding them as well assisting them with توفيق the essence of his message is هداية وغينا ووحدة is guidance self sufficiency and coming together many things can be said about the Prophet ﷺ we have a duty toward him a duty to remember him a duty to praise him duty to say صلوات أبطانه صلى الله عليه وسلم we have a duty also to to behave in the way he behaves many people today they read about Islam and they feel comfortable they look at some of our actions and they feel that's not what I read we can be a source of guidance we can be a source of misguidance we can be a source of comforting people and bringing them to Islam or we can be a source of pushing pushing people away from Islam if we believe that the Prophet is a favor the Prophet is a mercy the Prophet's message can do all this we need to share this message with others by behaving in the same way the Prophet ﷺ would have behaved صلى الله عليه وسلم أقول هذا القول وأستغفر الله الحمد لله الحمدا كثيرا كما أمر وأشدوا الله إلا الله وحده ولا شريك له وأشدوا أن سيدنا ونبينا ربيا محمدا عبده ورسوله صلى الله عليه وسلم وعلى آله وصحبه كلما تمتع تعينهم بنظر وعاتعزنهم بخبر عباد الله اتقوا الله فيما أمر وانتهوا عمانها عنه وزجر وأخرج حب الدنيا من قلوبكم فإنه إذا استولى أسر وعلموا أن الله عز وجل أمركم بأمر عميم بدأ فيه بنفسه وسن بملائكة قدسه فقال عز من قائل عليما إن الله وملائكته يصلون على النبي يا أيها الذين آمنوا صلوا عليه وسلموا تسليما اللهم فصلوا وسلم وبارك على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله سيدنا محمد صلاة وسلاما دائما متلازمين إلى يوم الدين ورضي الله عن الخلفاء راشدين أبي بكر وعمر وعوسمان وعلي وعن سائر الصحابة والقرابة والتابعين ومن تبيعهم بإحسان إلى يوم الدين اللهم انصر الإسلام والمسلمين وأعلى يا مولان كلمة الإيمان والحق والدين اللهم من أراد بالإسلام والمسلمين خيرا فوفقوا لكل خير ومن أراد بالإسلام والمسلمين غير ذلك فخزه أخذ عزيزا مقتدر تولى المسلمين في هذه البلدة وسائر بلاد الإسلام بعين عنايتك وبأتمر عايتك وأبدل عسرنا يا مولان يسرى عاجلا غير آجلا يا رب العالمين وفارج الكرب عن المكربين ونفس الهم عن المهمومين وردنا إلى دينك ردا جميلا كريما يا أكرم الأكرمين اغفر للمسلمين والمسلمات والمؤمنين والمؤمنات الأحياء منهم والأموات إنك يا مولان سميع قريب مجير الدعوات عباد الله إن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان كريما يريدوا قم لعلكم تذكرون وأقم الصلاة


After a recent video where I looked at creating blobby shapes using border radius, I got a tweet that was asking me about how we can create this type of effect with like these edged corners with a border because it's not so hard if there's no border involved. It seemed like an interesting challenge so I dove in to see what I could do with it and I'm pretty happy with the end result which you can see on the screen right now and if you think this looks cool and you want to see how I did it well stick around you're in the right place. Hello my front-end friends thank you so much for coming to join me for yet another video and if you're new here here at my channel I help you learn how you can fall in love with CSS and today we're going to be doing that by creating that button effect and we're going to be starting with not very much. We have a nice blank screen or blank button to be dealing with with no styling on it whatsoever. Just have a button centered on the screen and we're going to build the whole thing out from here. Now one thing I have done is just throwing a really big font size on here but we've also made this responsive so it will adapt to the screen less so for like realistic situation but more to make sure that all of this can scale and can work as well and it's not just this one thing that can work in this one situation I'm giving we want it to be adaptable and everything along the way. So the first thing we're going to do is let's go into here and select our button which is where all the work is going to happen or all the magic is going to happen and there's a few things we're going to set off the start with some custom properties and these are going to be locally scoped properties not in the route if you'd prefer to have them there it wouldn't make a huge difference. Let's start by choosing a background color and for this one I'm just going to use white because it works well but you could set any background color for your button you want and it makes it easy to change because it's going to be a custom property here and you'll see why this is important as we go through. I'm also going to choose a border color and yeah I'm going to use a linear gradient gradient and I usually go with this so to bottom right and we're going to do a red to blue so that's nothing too complicated right there and you know what while we're doing this we can we can shrink that down so you can see all the code and so we don't have to side scroll it all another one we're going to throw on here is going to be my border width and for now I'm going to start with a 0.5 m we could even like change this m away to something else but technically you could go away from m and use pixels or use other things but as I said you know my font size because it can adjust and scale and everything and so using m here is pretty important to making sure all of this is adaptable and can scale and the last thing we have our border width we're going to have our edge size I don't know a better term to give that if you can think of a better name let me know or you know you could always switch this out in your own code but this is like how cut the corner is going to be basically once we're done doing that and with those custom properties set we can come in and start actually styling up our button so the first thing I'm going to do is a display often on buttons I use inline flex but in this case I'm going to use inline grid just because it's going to let us save a couple of lines of code in a little bit and basically it just means it's a grid item but it's inline so if you had multiple buttons they won't stack on top of each other they'll go next to one another let's come in here with some padding and once again I'm going to use m for my padding here and we'll do 1.5 m these numbers could change maybe these could even be custom properties you could play around with but by using m here it just means that everything is scaling around with my button which is what I want just like my border width and just like this edge size are going to do I often get questions about when I'm using rems or when I'm using ems rems are what I use most of the time especially for font sizes and for set values that I need but if I need something to be able to scale with a font size so my padding is going to scale with the font size of my button for example here that's when I'm going to use m instead if you're on clear width units in which unit to pick in what situation I have a video that is dedicated just to that so there should be a card popping up and I'll link it down in the description as well let's put a border of zero on here we're going to need a border but we're not going to use an actual border so we'll do a border there we need a background color so we can come in with our background color and actually what I would suggest I was going to do I usually say don't use the shorthand and actually use the long hand for things like background in this case though I'd actually say to use the shorthand because then let's just come in and do our background color and it comes in but it's white so we can't see it but say I came in here and I did red a single value would still work but if you did come in here with a linear gradient gradient black white whatever it's it's also going to work so it just makes this background color here a little bit more versatile maybe even here we just say background then we'll switch that out on the fly and then let's do here and we can put this back to white and that was where some of the fun stuff starts um you know what actually for now let's start with this being a different color I'm going to just do a number we'll just do a three three three we won't really be able to see the text but that's okay because I do want to come in with a clip path on here and we won't be able to see the clip path until we have it now clip paths are a little bit funky and they can be really hard to create on your own so for that reason I really recommend using this clippy cliff path generator uh and in this case we can go over to the bevel one here and it gives us the bevel now if you wanted to actually do four corners like this you can take exactly what we're doing here and level it up a little bit um but what I'm going to do is actually going to delete a point there I can click on this one delete that point there and sort of get this shape going on and I'm just going to come down here and copy that I think when we click here it copies it anyway but we'll copy that and we're going to bring that down here for our clip path and what we're going to do is you can see it's sort of giving us the right shape that we want the issue with it right now is that it's all based on percentages which it then it like the shape of the corner really depends so if I do click me right now you're going to see that it's going to stretch that top part out and it gets even longer or if we just have the word click it swishes it a little bit more because it's percentage based usually a big fan of percentages for these things but in this case uh instead of using this I would do a 0.5 m and over here where my 80 percent is we would have another 0.5 m um and you can sort of see things are coming together a little bit uh actually I think I broke that one but we'll fix that in a second but that's why here is this edge size variable so on this polygon that we have right here we can make this a little bit more readable and I'm going to explain a little bit of how this actually works but one way you can do it and code pen I'm a little worried that prettier might kick in here uh when we save at one point but we can go a while without saving so but basically what we have here is a whole bunch of values this first value is the first point that's going to be on our corner right here so we're taking the first first corner we're going to this point that's right here I'm actually saying go over by 0.5 so it's taken here and it's moved it over to 0.5 and then we have the zero percent here is how far away from the top it is so if I did put like 1 m here it's actually going to move that point down and then we want that to actually be at zero so it stays stuck to the top this next point is at 100 so go all the way to the left side 100 of the way over and then go zero down so it's going to be stuck right there and then here this is actually where I made a mistake because we're 0.5 down I actually want to be all the way down and just moved up a little bit and I think that's where the original was at 80 percent but we can overcome that problem um and we can tell it to be that far so to be able to to do this and to make it work where we can just modify that one custom property for our edge size we can come in and for this one it's nice and easy I can do my var and I can just write edge size and anywhere that had 20 percent we can use that same value so I can take that and also plug it in right here now the interesting ones are these ones that were at 80 percent because what for these 80 percent ones what we're going to do is we're actually going to have to wrap them inside a calc we can say 100 percent minus edge size and so it means it's going 100 percent of the way down and then we're moving back up that edge size variable that we created right here and so now I can actually just take this whole calc and I can copy and paste it right here and now look at that it looks pretty good and it has the shape that we want one thing that's a little bit weird is this point here is actually this one right here and then the last point over here is the one that's over here because we're you know we're going this way around but because we start in the top right I actually think it's a little bit easier this one here is the first point and luckily we can just do that and switch them around and just make sure there's a comma there and so now what it's doing is it's taking the first point and it's moving it down and then it's taking the second point and this is now the second point three four five six and if you want you know you can come in here and add comments and say like left one for this one and you might be a little bit strange to put in comments for these but I'm telling you now it can actually be really useful because this is going to get more complex soon so I'm just going to do this really fast so I'm just going to go through and add comments to this really fast and I'll see you in just one second all right so there we go we can see that that's there my comments are here that just make it a little easier if I do need to make adjustments now where things get more interesting is this next step where we're going to come and create a new selector and this is where sort of the magic happens I guess we're going to say button we're going to do our before and after we're going to be using these for different things but let's come in and do both because both are going to need to be a content both of them are also going to position of absolute absolute and both of them are going to need an inset of zero if you haven't seen inset of zero before it's the same as saying top bottom left and right all of zero you can use it like a shorthand like margins as well where you can put out multiple values all at the same time now what we'll do is let's come on my button for only and we're going to give this a background and just like before I would suggest doing this as the shorthand background and not the longhand so you can do this as a gradient or you can just do it as a solid color if you prefer and this is where we're going to use our border color and you can see there it is my gradient is coming in right there awesome you know kind of cool right and it's covering my text so covering my text obviously presents us with a problem and I'm going to do a z index of negative two for a very specific reason and there's one more thing with this negative two and because we're throwing a z index on here whenever I use that indexes with pseudo elements I always like coming and doing an isolation uh on the the parent here um and actually we probably hmm maybe because of this is grid it's working I could be wrong on that because one thing I never did on here which I thought I would have had to have done is a position of relative we're going to throw it on here just to be safe anyway um oh there actually okay so see how the colors changed before I did my position relative that pseudo element was actually filling up the entire viewport but because we have a clip path on there we don't see the entire thing the position relative now means that inset zero is actually for the button itself so we're pulled in a little bit that makes a bit more sense now and at the same time you could do a z index on here which will create a new stacking context I'm actually just going to do an isolation of isolate if you've never seen this before all it's doing is creating a new stacking context with no other side effects and the nice thing with that is the stacking context means this negative two is relative or it's encapsulated within this button rather than being a z index on the entire page like you would normally expect um so yeah we're creating a stacking context we're limiting the negative numbers or positive numbers whatever to what's inside that button so in a way things are scoped to my button now rather than being z indexed anywhere on the page that we want which is a good thing um so there that that's what will eventually be our border and you're going well Kevin how do we turn that into a border good question this is where the fun comes in where we use a the after that we have right here and this after is going to have a background and what this one is going to be is my var background and you can see it's taken that background color that we'd originally set once again it's covering the text so let's throw a z index on here of negative one and that's why this i put it negative two because i wanted to make sure this one could go on top of the other one um and actually with all of this the background being set here is a little bit less important and what i'm going to do though is set this back maybe we'll do a light gray just so we can see that it's different from this background color over here uh and eventually we can put that to whatever we want and where this is where the magic happens but also where things can get a little bit complex but we're going to keep it really simple at the start and then i'll build on top of it that makes it a little bit better more usable i guess is the best way to explain so what we're going to do is i'm actually going to take this entire clip path right here copy it all we're going to bring that clip path onto the after here we're going to make a small change a few small changes to it um right now it's lining up exactly so we can see it's hiding it's it's the shape of my button because it's using the same clip path but say i came on this uh one percent zero percent i should say and i made this one m and just for fun let's make this i can see a change already uh and i make this a one m you can see you know we've moved a point down and it sort of changed how things are happening so the idea is what i want to do is we're creating like a fake border by using these two layered pseudo elements one on top of the other so we're actually going to come in and do a lot of this with a custom property but just to make it a little bit more readable to start with i'm going to come in and put in a few set values here uh so here if i do the point two five you can see it's moved that point over a little bit and then we can do my remember that was this one here so we've just moved it that way then i'm going to come to the second side here so we've moved it over uh let's just do the zero yeah so we'll come to this top one and we want to move it down so i can you move that down by point two five look we're getting that like edge right here then we want to come over to this corner so my top right corner this zero can get moved down a little bit better right now the problem with a hundred percent is that means it's all the way at the end so we're going to come in here with another calc and this will be that minus my point two five m so there we go then here so anywhere we had a hundred percent now i can come in and switch that over for um this and when i say anywhere i include these 100 that are already within calcs now because this is already in a calc you can you don't have to do another calc we can just do a minus point two five m and it's going to work then over here we can do the same thing minus point two five m then over here we can throw in our other calc and over here we can throw in our other calc and i forgot this last one right there and that should give us a border that goes all the way around except i obviously messed something up we forgot a closing no where did i make a mistake ah here we don't want that oh we did want that it was a hundred minus point one two five there we go and now you'll notice it's not perfect but it gives us that idea of having this border that's sort of cut out of everything the issue that sort of comes up is the thickness of this like this one's actually too thick this one's too thin and it took me a while to figure this next part out and you might be going Kevin this is a lot of setup and it is it is quite a bit of setup and you can see at least it's responsive but the nice thing is because we are going to be setting this and switching a lot of this out for custom properties it means that we don't ever have to come and look at this again we can we're going to be able to control absolutely everything just with these four values right here so don't worry too much if it looks really complex at this point and it's going to get more complex but the use of it is very simple and what i'm going to do in a one way to simplify it is and this is where these comments are going to help because these are going to be long with the custom properties we're going to take this guy off of here and this is where we're going to use my var border width instead now as i said before i think my border width was a bit too big so these numbers are going to be kind of big so let's come up and actually change this border width will be a we'll try 0.25 and we can play with it from there there we're going to have my border width and then we're going to have my edge size here and the reason this is an issue is because we don't want these to actually line up the inner edge needs to be different from the outer edge this part took me some playing around with but what ended up working well for me i'm going to do a calc around this i'm going to say edge size plus var border and you can see that's actually like moved it down a little bit like that and then i'm going to do a x 0.25 and it sort of just brings it back it's making like this border width like you could even wrap all of this like that because we're doing order of operations so basically i just need my border width to be a smaller number to make this actually work i had to play around with this number and then i found something that seemed to work really well at a lot of different sizes i wish i had a better answer for you but it's basically let's go to our edge size but then suck it back a little bit and here let's just we'll switch out a few more of these so anywhere i had my edge size i'm going to put this and then anywhere i had my 0.25 we can say it's my border width and again this starts getting to look really messy but see how this corner now we've done these first two and see how like the lining up of them is a little bit different and just to show you actually like if i bring these down to a 0.125 it see how it adjusts the thickness there a little bit and if i bring them up to like a 0.5 the the thickness here is going to adapt and actually the 0.5 looks pretty nice we'll stick with 0.5 maybe um so it's all about just like trying to match the width all the way around and i found this happened to work well because again if i didn't include this it just it led to these parts being thicker than the up and down parts um and which is normal so anyway at times 0.5 seemed to get me to where i wanted to so we'll stick with that um all right so as i said things get a little bit complicated so that's again why i'm putting one value per line rather than stringing everything together so here so let's caught me my var border width and that was anywhere i had the 0.25 so now on our top right we don't really have much to change except we just wanted to bring in the this value and this one to be our border width so that stays consistent then we get down to here where things get a little bit more complicated again cal that should be okay and again we'll leave this on two lines just to be more consistent so here we have the first corner which is here and then that other one which is down below and this is where we need to get in with this funky guy here in a few spots uh and even though i've played with this you can see i'm i'm still trying to wrap my head around exactly where to place these things um but it's anywhere i have this edge size i'm going to replace it with what we have there because that's what got that to be closer to what we wanted and then here i think all we have to do is bring in my border width there this part we want it to move so it's in the right spot like left to right but it needs to go down more which means um so that should be oh i have the minus 2 5 here which i think is mucking it up so that should pull it down there we go um you'll notice i do have nested calyx here it shouldn't cause any problems and i find it just easier to copy and paste um okay so that this one's in the right spot so this one needs to go over a little bit so let's a look at these two what i should have done is maybe copy and paste the things a little faster but here we have this one which probably is the same thing let's try huh it was okay good so that one's in the right spot now uh again here we have a 0.25 so the 0.25 we always want to switch that out for our border width um and then here we probably can't just do that can we maybe we can i think maybe we can get away with that on that corner it worked okay so again a lot of work a little bit complicated you can check out the code that's linked in this video if you just want to copy and paste it but what's nice about that now is here if i change this all of them are going to update if i make it a 0.125 everything updates and that weird calculation with the 0.5 is what's enabling it to actually just be something that you know it seems to work at like well 15 is going to be too big but even if we make it like even as it's getting thicker things line up pretty nicely uh or as things get really small things still line up really nicely so it happened to just be the right calculation on there um and then the edge size of course we can also change this so i can make this a really small uh edge if we wanted to or we can come in and make that a a whoa is one going to be too big one even works on that and they're both m's so everything can scale nicely as well which is perfect now one thing that i do want to change still and we're not done yet is to have some sort of hover effect on here so actually i think we can change this back to a white um and then what we're going to do is let's come down that's my after so my this is where the fun continues button hover and we could do a button focus um and on both of these actually we can do a or you know what let's do this the more fun way button where hover focus after uh so the where is the same as what i had before basically but we can do it like this modern css is fun um and we want to change the clip path and this is where we get to play with the clip path more so let's come here and just do transition of clip path and we'll do 500 milliseconds for now so what do we want to do so this is where these comments are really going to help us out because we don't want to touch the right side we only want to change the left side so the left side remember the first value is i don't remember the first but let's just put a number here and see where it moves to it was already one what's two oh we need we need to hover kevin so we're moving that way which is exactly what we want to do so here we actually want to go all the way over right or almost we'll have to change this in a second but we want to shoot all the way over to that side so let's say i do that there and i do that i think it'd be this one then 100 when i hover now those will both shoot all the way over to the other side so we get like that swiping animation that comes in the only thing is we can't do 100 percent we're going to do a calc of minus our edge size 100 minus our edge sides we don't get that weird overlap that's going on you can see like when we have an overlap it's kind of awkward so we should be able to use that here and here oh no not edge size border width sorry border width and border width that would make more sense so now when it moves it moves all the way over and now we can just do that again for my bottom left value that's over here where this one become the exact same thing let's copy take that first value put it over and so now all of them should slide on over uh we do get one issue you can see it's actually going to the wrong spot i want bottom right two this i'm just going to copy this i want these two the bottom right two and the bottom left should be in the exact same place so that makes that a little easier and then we just need to take that top the top right actually now the problem is the top right we need it to actually line up down here it's not it's stopping here because we're just we moved it all the way over but we also need to move it down oh i think actually we want it to be the same as this point right here bottom right one we want it to line up with bottom right one so top left one can be the same that should there we go it's scoots on across right into there uh and since we're already here we can say that my button wear hover focus um has a color of white and again that that could be a custom property just so we can actually read our text you can come all the way up to here on the original button do a transition of color over maybe a little bit faster of a time and there we go and if you enjoyed this video and you'd like to see more where i go into tips and tricks and fun things you can do with css i put a little custom playlist together here that i think you'd really enjoy and with that i'd like to say a very big thank you to my supporters of awesome over on patreon dan johnny patrick simon and tim as well as all my other patrons for their monthly support and of course until next time don't forget to make your corner the internet just a little bit more awesome