Hi everyone, welcome to coming out of COVID creatively with Matthew Felix. My name is Taryn Edwards and I am one of the librarians here at the Mechanics Institute of San Francisco. This event was produced in collaboration with the San Francisco Writers Conference. Together we strive to provide high quality learning experiences for writers at low cost or even free like tonight. I'd like to thank those of you who elected to support this event by paying a little something to attend. It really, really let's underline that really does go a long way to help us do more in these challenging times. For those of you who are unfamiliar with mechanics, we are an independent membership organization that houses a wonderful library. We're the oldest design to serve the general public in California. We're also a cultural event center and a world renowned chess club that is the oldest in the United States. Right now, most of our activities are still virtual but the Institute has reopened five days a week. I encourage you to consider becoming a member with us. It's $120 a year and with that you help support our contribution to the literary and cultural world of the San Francisco Bay Area including more events like this one. Our speaker tonight is Matthew Felix, who is an author, a podcaster and an Mechanics Institute member. He is also the program director and host of the San Francisco Writers Conference podcast. And he's going to talk to us tonight about how to reconnect with our creativity in this world and we hope that we are indeed seeing the tail end of the pandemic. So now's the time to seize the day. Matthew has generously shared his knowledge with us several times already for the Mechanics Institute's audience. His videos are available on our YouTube channel. And he also has a couple of or several wonderful published works including his debut novel, A Voice Beyond Reason. And let's see, he also has several travel related titles including With Open Arms, which won four Solis Awards, and his latest book, Porcelain Travels, which also has some nice videos connected to it on YouTube, was a forward Indy's humor book of the year award finalist. So let's see the way it's going to work tonight is Matthew's going to share and talk for a bit. And I encourage you to go ahead and use the chat space so that we can get to your questions at the end of the show. So if you have a question that you'd like us to address, put that in the chat space and we will call on you later to to ask Matthew directly. And otherwise, are we ready to roll Matthew. We're ready to roll. Let's roll. Let's do it. No time like the present. Thank you. Thanks for having me and thanks to all of you for being here tonight really really appreciate it. And I just want to say a quick word or two about how this talk sort of sort of came to be. As I mentioned, I'm a member of the San Francisco Writers Conference, and also I do their podcast and also a member of the Mechanics Institute, and the two groups got together as we were starting to see the end of the light at the end of the tunnel or hopefully with regards to the pandemic, and just to talk about programming. And the theme that kept coming up over and over again was that a lot of creatives felt really stuck during COVID. And so we decided to sort of, or I mean I didn't really decide but I was involved in the conversations about doing some programming to address that. Well, after that meeting, I was thinking and I thought, you know, we have different different programs different talks that are going to sort of address that idea that notion that issue from different angles, but we didn't have one talk that was really just going to hit it head on. And so I sort of reflected on my own creative processes and what I do when I get stuck and how I stay inspired. And that's basically what this talk is is just some of my own reflections and some of what I do to get unstuck and to stay inspired and hopefully to continue to be creative. So that's what I'm going to share with you tonight. I think it bears mentioning that for some people the pandemic was was actually good for their creativity right not not all of us got stuck. All of a sudden, from one day to the next we couldn't necessarily you know we couldn't go out we couldn't go to the movies we couldn't go to the baseball game we couldn't go to the theater couldn't meet up with friends. So all of a sudden a lot of the activities that we might have been doing outside the house, obviously we couldn't do anymore. And so some people for some people that was actually sort of a blessing in disguise right they were able to channel that time that they might have been spending out and about doing other things into their creative pursuits. For others, it was the opposite right the pandemic sort of upended their their worlds, maybe you know and leaving them with little or maybe no time for their creative pursuits maybe all of a sudden they had kids at home, which they didn't have prior to the pandemic as far as during, you know during the day, maybe given what was going on in the world, they were really suffering from a lot of anxiety or even depression, giving all that again was going on during the pandemic. Maybe they or someone they love got or even died from covert. Right. I mean so there was no shortage of reasons that we might have become disengaged from our creativity and our creative pursuits. The question now as we hopefully again move out of coven and it's it's still obviously touch and go particularly depending on on where we're talking about. But as we hopefully continue to move out of coven the question then becomes how do we reengage how do we get reinspired how do we, how do we pick up our creative pursuits again. Now I always say that the biggest challenge for me with regards to creativity it's not inspiration. I mean inspiration is obviously key and I am going to talk quite a bit about inspiration and again how to get and stay inspired. But for me there are two fundamental things that have to be in place before I can even kind of worry about doing anything with the inspiration, and that's time and space. And again, during the pandemic, having the time having the space might have become a really big issue. I mentioned, you might have suddenly have had had kids at home. Well, a lot of people had to homeschool those kids or at least help the kids with the school work that ordinarily they would have been doing the responsibilities that the teachers might have had ordinarily in the classroom. I have some friends who are professors. Well, as you know, all of a sudden the professors had this tremendous amount of additional work to be done so that they could pivot and start teaching online. So those are two just two really obvious examples of ways in which all of a sudden because of the pandemic time that a lot of us might have had to dedicate to our pursuits was suddenly had to be earmarked for other activities and we didn't really have a choice about it. It's the same with space in my apartment, usually during the day it's pretty quiet with COVID that all changed dramatically this this building where I am right now in my apartment, it's basically got tissue paper walls. So all of a sudden, whereas ordinarily my neighbors are out in the office during the day and I'm here doing my thing being creative being productive doing whatever it is I might be doing. All of a sudden I'm hearing the zoom calls upstairs. I'm hearing the conference calls from downstairs and I'm hearing my neighbors next door. So this space were ordinarily again I could be productive. Suddenly I couldn't at least not as much I'm going to put your plugs in and you know I did what I could, but I sort of felt trapped. And it was not much worse, because ordinarily I would just go to a cafe, or I would go to the mechanics Institute library there are lots of spaces out and about where I can work with the white noise. Well I was denied those we were denied those places right those sorts of options when when working at home or just being at home or wherever we normally work suddenly wasn't wasn't available to us. So whatever your particular situation is as we're coming out of coven. Those are the that's the first question I would ask myself the first two questions I would ask myself is am I set up with the time and the space with which to resume or jump into my creative pursuits. Some of us were lucky and things that more or less sort of gone back to how they were before the pandemic and so far as these issues are concerned at least for others, maybe there's been some permanent sort of ongoing change and maybe you're going to keep working from home, maybe that room that you used to write in or paint in or do whatever creative pursuit you do. Maybe that's now become your home office for your for your day to day job and it's not maybe the place where you can create so maybe there are changes with regards to the time or the space that you need to figure out okay how as we move out of coven, am I going to set myself up so that I have those two foundational elements to to reengage with my creativity. Now, I can already hear someone saying maybe all of you saying or lots of you saying because I know I say it, but I just don't have the time I just don't have the time. Well, I would argue that it's not about having the time. It's about making the time. When I was working the nine to five. All of my friends knew not to contact me on Sundays. I turned my cell phone off. I didn't look at my email. I didn't make any plans. And the reason for that was, if I didn't have one for me day and doesn't have to be a full day but for me if I didn't have one day if I didn't have that time prioritized and roped off and protected from all the other obligations and things that I even wanted to do any sort of interactions. If I didn't prioritize that time. I wasn't going to be creative. I wasn't going to work. In my case, I wasn't going to work on my novel. So, if you can't make the time, your, your creative endeavors, they're not going to happen. So, so again, it's sort of not a choice. Now, maybe you've only got 10 minutes a day or 15 minutes a day maybe you've got a whole hour or a whole, a whole you know Sunday like I was just talking about how much time you can make is of course going to vary depending upon your obligations and things, but you have to make it and it's got to be sacred space sacred time that you, you really hold on to and protect that from obligations and distractions, if you want to be creative and that being said, as I already admitted, I'm sure that my friends have heard me say even even very very recently even as I get ready to talk about this issue that I just don't have time. I'm sure I've said that very recently. Now, but what I've noticed is that if I want something bad enough with regards to my creative pursuits, I make the time again it comes back to that notion of making the time. I had to prepare for this talk. It took me several hours to prepare for this talk but for me it was important enough. This is a form of creative expression that I really enjoy that I that I that I want to be involved in I'm grateful for the opportunity. So I made the time. I did to San Francisco writer com writers conference podcast episodes this month, each of which takes 10 or 15 hours. And again, I made the time because I love doing the interviews. It's, I get so much out of it I enjoy making the connections with the authors and and being able to share what I learn about their work and the themes we talk about with others.  I make the time. I have a friend who will tell you that what he wants more than anything else is to prioritize and to pursue a particular passion in which he not only has tremendous expertise, but he already has a certain renown. And yet every time I talk with him and I don't even actually try anymore every time I used to try to talk to him about what he could do to prioritize that and make that more of a focus. He would tell me he didn't have time. And yet every time someone would ask him to be on a podcast, ask him to do a workshop, ask him to make some sort of appearance. He found the time he made the time. So again, I'm not criticizing or faulting him because I do the same thing I'm just trying to underscore and illustrate how sometimes we have to ask ourselves, do I not have the time, or am I not making it. If I'm not making the time, if that's really what's going on, then I might need to look a little more deeply and sort of under under the surface for any other any any underlying issues or obstacles that might really be preventing me from from engaging with my creativity. Maybe rather than not having the time. I no longer have the interest. If I started, let's say I started a novel three years ago, four years ago, and I didn't touch it during COVID. And maybe I haven't even touched it since as we've started to emerge from COVID. Well, maybe I'm no longer that into the project. And maybe more importantly, that's okay. You know, we often get, and maybe I need to move on to a project that does inspire me. We often get hung up on this notion that because I've spent the time and the energy and oftentimes the money on some creative endeavor, then I need to see it through to the end. And I am all for seeing things through to the end. I'm not I'm certainly not taking issue with that. But sometimes, sometimes that project that we thought was going to be that my first novel, for example, it's not actually going to be my first novel, it's going to be my first attempt at writing a novel, so that I learn what I need to learn. And this is in fact what happened to me to go on and write what turns out to be my first novel that I actually publish. My first novel what I thought was going to be my first novel I just went all over the place right it just went all over the place. And I eventually realized this isn't going to happen. And, and I resisted letting it go of course because of all the I put several years or a few years into that first attempt. But I realized that it wasn't a waste these sunk costs weren't, you know, they're gone I'm never going to recuperate that time and the energy but that's okay because I learned how to structure I learned how to structure my plot I learned about character development I learned a lot of the skills that I needed because I made so many mistakes I learned from those mistakes, and that's what that project was about. And letting it go wasn't some sort of failure, letting it go was recognizing what that project actually was to me so and and cutting the cord to free myself to move on to my next project that was calling that I did in fact finish I did finish the novel that followed that first attempt. So ask yourself, if you're not reengaging with that project you keep saying you're going to finish you keep saying you're going to finish but you're not actually finishing it. It's purpose and it's time to let it go. And if it is, then I hope you'll give yourself permission to do that. So again, you can move on to what is really calling and really inspiring you now. Now maybe the issue isn't that you haven't finished something that you started, but rather that you haven't started that project that you keep saying you're going to start that you're going to get to. If we keep talking about it, but we're not actually doing it. Then we might need to ask ourselves whether whether we're truly committed to it. This is an excerpt from my current work in progress which I just mentioned which is called have fun falling where I talk about this specific issue. So this is just a quick excerpt from this my forthcoming book. We can and do spend a seemingly endless amount of time, our entire lives even talking about what we're going to do. If we say it enough, if we proclaim it loudly over and over to ourselves into others. Eventually we convince ourselves that we mean it. We start to believe it. We accept it as truth. Yet nothing happens. Saying we're going to do something, change jobs, make a move, lose weight, write a novel means little saying we're going to do something is to defer an action to some vague future. Our lies in the present telling ourselves otherwise is dubious self deception. It's diluting ourselves into thinking or into believing we have made a decision we haven't actually made. In our delusion we find self serving refuge, the disingenuous satisfaction of having accomplished something without any effort, uncertainty or risk, when in fact we've accomplished nothing at all. Nothing changes until we decide and take action. We take action in the now, then and only then doors open. And so if the doors aren't opening for you. If your project's not getting off the ground, and you keep saying you're going to do it but you're not actually doing it. I would suggest that you ask yourself if you're really committed to to to the project if you really decided that you are in fact going. This is something you want to do and that you're going to do it and that you're going to commit to actually getting it off the ground. If not, you know if you have committed but nothing's happening then then then what needs to change. What's stopping you again as Aristotle said, action is the key to happiness, and it only takes one action to get the ball rolling. Something else that could be preventing you from re engaging with a project or getting one off the ground is it's it's it's very very familiar. This is not going to be surprising to any of you. In the artist's way, Julia Cameron says quote, most of the time when we are blocked in an area of our life. It is because we feel safer that way.  I have been working on a book for years for maybe four I don't know at this point maybe five years. And I whenever whenever people ask me know how's it going. I often say it's going pretty well I'm almost there but I haven't quite had the time lately, like I said I'm guilty of that as well. I haven't quite had the time to finish it. A few months ago, during the pandemic, I was going through some files, and I noticed that and I had actually forgotten this so I don't know maybe I just blocked it out. But I noticed that I had finished a query letter months ago, maybe or was it a year ago anyway it's quite a while ago. You know it was it was more than a year ago I had finished this query letter. And yet I hadn't done any querying. And it wasn't because I didn't have time during I had plenty of time to start the querying process. I finished it. Well, I reread the draft, and I realized not only was it very close to being done but it had been again it had been done for quite a while like finding that query letter suggested. I hadn't finished it because of some things in the current draft that I wasn't sure if or how I wanted to share with the world. So rather than moving forward and addressing those issues and figuring out and just deciding okay yeah I do want to leave that in the book, or no I don't I want to take that out, but I am going to leave that part in but maybe I need to change it a little bit instead of doing that. I didn't face my fears I didn't acknowledge that that was really what was going on. And so instead I just said well I don't have time and that's why the query letter didn't get sent out, and the book just got sort of stopped in its tracks and I had plenty of other things to distract me right. So, often we need to stop and we need to look at that deeper truth now. So if you're stuck creatively, then you know I would ask yourselves, you know, is it is it fear is there some fear that maybe I hadn't acknowledged that is actually holding me up. So if we name our fears identify our fears, then we can face them then we can address them and that is what I did. I did go back to the draft I did look at the sections I wasn't so sure about. And I did. I don't think I took anything out but I did sort of rewrite some parts so that I felt comfortable then sharing what I was going to share with the world. That book is now with some beta readers I'm getting feedback on it. I still haven't finished it but identifying that fear realizing it wasn't about time. There was there was more going on helped me get over that hurdle and and and get the project moving again. The other thing I should say before I move on for fear is from fear is fear can take many many forms right. My fear was rather specific but we can be afraid of success. We can also be afraid of even finishing. That was something that I encountered when I did finish my first novel. I, as I was getting to the end I realized I was sort of dragging my feet or dragging my claws, you know down the side of the wall. I was sort of resisting finishing the book, even though I'd been working on it for 10 years which seems counter intuitive and maybe even a little crazy. But there was a part of me that was sort of like well wait what am I going to do when this part, something that this this thing that has been so central to my life, day in day out is no longer there. And what's going to happen afterwards what what sort of void is going to open up. So point being that's just another example of the form that fear can take and how it can also. You can also not necessarily readily identify readily identify sometimes that that's what it is. So those are some obstacles to re engaging with our creativity things that might come between us and re engaging or starting a project sort of at that high level. But let's say I don't have any of those issues or I've worked through them and I actually am engaged I'm in my project and I'm, I'm doing whatever you know again I'm creating I'm in the process. Let's talk about some things relative to that process to the creative process that we can do to avoid blocks and to stay inspired. Well, first off, you know just because we seem to be again fingers crossed coming out of this pandemic doesn't mean that we're suddenly that we've suddenly resolved any lingering issues any any feelings any with the anxiety that we might have felt during the pandemic itself right, we might still be depressed, we might be grieving, if we lost someone we might be grieving if if by things that we lost and so far as you know my favorite restaurant closed one of my favorite cafes closed we might be grieving and on a lesser level, things that changed in our day to day life that we really cherished that are no longer around thanks to the coven thanks to the pandemic. We're not having dealt with the pandemic I mean that's also just life right, we get stressed we deal with anxiety we get depressed we get preoccupied that's just part of life.  I would suggest asking yourself, you know, have I looked at sort of my overall well being any bigger picture issues that might have resulted from the pandemic that maybe I haven't faced head on and that maybe I need to deal with again anxiety stress grief. Physically, you know, there's a lot of us, I have no idea who I'm talking about but might have put on 10 or 20 the coven 10 or 20 or 30 right so there's the physical aspect as well because as we know, our physical mental spiritual and mental health it's all connected. Right. So are there things again that resulting from the pandemic that you haven't yet necessarily addressed the gyms are open again, you know, do you need to get back to the gym. Things just to kind of address your overall well being because again that's that's just like time and space that underlies it all right.  I think most of us know that fortunately or unfortunately because it does sound somewhat fun I guess sometimes the reality is we're going to be more, you know, our most creative our most focused our most productive when our overall well being when we're taking care of ourselves physically emotionally spiritually mentally. So in addition to that high level, you know wire physical and mental health is important. It's also very specifically important to our creativity, because we've got to be able to clear our minds to be our most creative, right we've got to be able to get out of our heads. It's hard to do if I'm really worried, if I'm really distracted if I'm really depressed. It's hard to clear my mind so that I can let inspiration come in, so that I can go with the flow so that I can open up to that inspiration to my creative self. This includes of course the rational mind. So one I was talking more sort of emotionally for your preoccupied but it's also the rational mind if we're constantly, if we're constantly just processing constantly trying to figure things out constantly in that sort of mind mindset. Then that also gets in the way of being able to be open to an attuned to that inspiration that we need in order to be creative. And also that part of our mind that's telling us what we need to do what we should do what we have to do. All of that gets in the way. And so it's really really essential, at least for me to be able to clear my mind so that I can really let that create to get into that creative flow. So how do we do that. The best ways of getting out of our heads is to get into our bodies, right. Courtney and Miriam Webster, the word inspiration, quote, comes from the Latin inspiratus, the past participle of inspirale, which is to breathe into to breathe into, or to inspire. In English, the word inspiration has had the meaning quote, the drawing of air into the lungs, i.e. related obviously to respiration point being getting inspired. It's not just an intellectual notion. It has roots in getting into our body bringing something into our bodies in this case a creative life force, right. It's why we talk about creating from our hearts it's why we talk about going with our guts right particularly when we're being creative why did I paint that way because I just felt it. I didn't think it my rational mind didn't tell me to paint that my rational mind didn't tell me to write that sentence I was just in the flow and it was just happening. What was just happening and I was in the flow because I was able to clear my mind I was able to get into my body. Nothing helps us to get into our bodies better, better than breathing, then again, inspiration. If I'm not meditating regularly, then I get disconnected with my creativity. For me, that is and it's also a sign that again I'm not making the time if I'm not taking the time to meditate. Again, there's an issue there's a fundamental issue there that I probably also need to look at. But for me, focusing on my breath using meditation to get grounded, get centered clear my head so that I can open to inspiration and get back into that creative flow. It's essential. Now I'm not telling you to meditate because for many of you, the idea of sitting in silence for 10 or 20 or 30 minutes it's just it's never going to happen, although I do recommend you try if you haven't already. But that doesn't mean whether you meditate or not whether you do some other form of paying attention to your breath, your breath, regardless is essential. That doesn't mean you can't even if you're not meditating that you can't stop and take a deep breath when you're stuck, right when you're working on that paragraph it's not coming through when that painting is not working when the choreography that you're trying to figure out it's not happening. I mean what do we do. We stop and we take a breath. And there's a reason for that we recognize the value of reconnecting. We go and we get some fresh air we take a walk around the block we go in into into nature. I mean there's nothing that helps to get me unstuck better more easily more quickly than taking a walk in the woods than taking a walk in nature. It forces me not only to breathe, but it forces me just just that movement right it gets me into my body because I'm moving I'm physically active. It gets me out of my head and into my body and anything that does that anything that does that. If I'm stuck, it's going to help me to get unstuck. If I'm not stuck, it's just going to help to nurture that relationship with inspiration and with with that creative flow. None of these will be big surprises I can do breathing exercises maybe meditation seems too weird but I can just sit and stop and just just kind of realize okay I'm stressed out. I've got too much going on up here and just be aware of my breath for a little bit. I can work out. I can dance I can sit in the hot tub. I can do anything anything that quiets my mind and gets me into the body is going to help remove the blocks and keep me inspired. Now there's another instance where we're getting stuck in our heads can be detrimental to our creativity. In our results oriented society. The focus is not only on what but how much we produce right, but we can't produce output without input. We can't complete our creative endeavors whether writing music art without again that input without that creative that creative fuel. A car doesn't run without gas, and we don't paint we don't write we don't produce music without that inspiration without whatever it is that fuels us creatively. Unfortunately, my tendency is to forget that. And my tendency is to just work myself into the ground and that's not a good thing that's not how it's supposed to work. And I hope one day I will learn this lesson and not have to learn it again but what happens oftentimes and I assume I'm not alone is that I get so focused on that end goal. You know I can see the end I'm almost to the end of this chapter I'm almost to the end of my word count for the day I'm almost whatever it is and I push myself when we're in reality, I'm running on fumes. And so then I hit a wall, because I have nothing left to give. So many of us tried to do this we run on empty you know maybe maybe I've only got an hour, because I've got all these responsibilities and there's so much going on and I've, I've allotted this sacred hour and I want to make the most of it, most of it. But maybe my day there was just too much going on in my day and I don't have anything left to give in which case I need to acknowledge that. But I also need to figure out what input do I need, and how do I get it so that I can get back to being creative so I can get inspired again. Well as I already talked about particularly as we're coming out of the pandemic. And I just want to underscore this again I need to have that foundation I need to have slept enough the night before. So again I'm also horrible at. I need to be watching my diet and my exercise I need to be taking care of my overall well being like we've already talked about. But in addition I need to be make I need to be making sure that I'm getting that inspiration that I'm bringing in that fuel that I need in order to create. And what that is, is going to it's going to vary between what that is for me and what that is for you, right, it's it's very very unique. But what do we say when we're stuck, we say we're uninspired, and so we need to get re inspired so how do we do that. Reading, hiking, Netflix, taking a trip, hopefully time with friends. Again I don't really need to delineate the options all that matters because they're of course they're infinite. But you know what works for you what inspires you and that you make the time to continue to intake that inspiration. Now I just mentioned it all that matters is that you know what works for you and that might seem obvious and you might say well of course I know what inspires me. I have been told so many times by by friends. Well Matthew it's easy for you because you know what you're passionate about I don't know what my passions are yet. So, I don't know if you are all who are all of you here tonight are already artists and writers and musicians maybe you do know in that case, but for a lot of people particularly particularly if you're just getting started out. You might not know, am I going to be a writer am I going to focus on painting I didn't know initially how I got started was I went to a mountain in the south of Spain and I just tried a whole bunch of different things I tried poetry I tried pros. I got crayons and colored pencils I tried the visual arts I wasn't sure at first and then I did settle on writing so you don't always know. The point is to figure out what it is and make sure you're getting that inspiration just like you're getting food or water, you need that creative fuel. In the artist way Julie Cameron again recommends making artists dates with ourselves to ensure that we're getting that input that we need and she calls it stocking the creative well. So what can you do to make sure if you're not already and if you are more power to you but if you're not. What can you do to make sure that your creative reservoirs are full. The time we get in the time we spend getting inspired is probably going to be in many cases if not most cases time away from our projects right I can't take a walk in the woods without setting my book aside, for example. And so the temptation can be then to think of that time is not only unproductive but even counterproductive. Well again I'm so close to the end of my to the end of this chapter I really I really shouldn't take that time I'll take a hike tomorrow I'll. I'll read that book that was inspiring me later whatever the case might be we we tend to think of time away from our projects as unproductive and even counterproductive. Why should I take a hike when I haven't finished my word count that I set for myself. In reality, time away from our projects is absolutely essential to our projects and to our creativity. Because if we're just going going going at a certain point we cease to be able to see the forest for the trees right we cease to have those fresh eyes. We get so into it, and maybe even the rational mind kicks in right and it's and it's more about just I've got to meet this goal I have to do this I must do this. Our guts might be saying our hearts might be saying, well you know what I think we're done for the day. We don't really have a lot more inspiration here and yeah I can you can force it. But really, maybe maybe it's okay to call it a day or even a weekend, maybe, maybe you've been going nonstop for the past month. That time away can be extremely beneficial not only just for your overall well being again, but specifically for your project because then we return to our projects with fresh eyes. And I'm really not just talking about a hike, I'm talking about a weekend or a week or a month, you know, I have a client who she's so close to finishing her book. And she was like you know I if I can just do this this this and this and I could just tell what she really needed to do was nothing, because she wasn't going to see she wasn't at a place where she was going to be able to revisit her draft with fresh eyes and that's really really important and the end product is going to be so much better if we take the time to do that sort of thing to take time away. Often what's blocking us wasn't something that we had to figure out. It's something that we need to give time and space to work itself out, because that's the other thing of taking time away, oftentimes I'm stuck for whatever reason. And I try to figure it out again the rational mind comes into play right I'm trying to figure this out I'm trying to figure this out. When I take the weekend off, if I've been really working and, and what I really need is that time away so many times and I'm sure most of you have experienced this at some point, you come back and the problem just dissipates, because it worked itself out but she it's only going to work itself out if you allow the time and space for that to happen. Sometimes we step away and we turn our attention to another project, another story another painting another whatever that we're working on. But at others we just realize again, we need to rest. Maybe you need to let yourself sleep in maybe you need to to just spend a day napping. I mean I think there's there's again this this work ethic that we have that we need to keep going keep going keep going and sometimes we just need to sleep. So I would encourage you to sleep. When it comes to creativity, doing nothing can actually be doing a lot. So once we're re engaged with our creativity and once we're re inspired. There's something essential to ensuring that we stay this way, stay that way. And this might be the most important part of my talk, I think it probably actually is. We have to stop everything every time we get a flash of inspiration we've got to stop everything. If I'm talking to you I've got to excuse myself if I've got I've got to grab the nearest pen and if there's no paper around I've got to grab that napkin or I've got to pick up my iPhone and I've got to record that title that that image that I want to paint later those dance moves for the choreography that I'm doing, you have to stop in the moment and honor that flash of inspiration and grab it because it's fleeting. We think we think I'll remember that later and then sometimes we do just as often if not more often than not we don't. It's just like with our dreams. I have a very active dream life sometimes I'll write down three or five there's been a few times in my life where I've written down double digit separate dreams when I've woken up. Now that doesn't always happen thank God because I don't have I don't have two hours every morning to write down my dreams but it's the same idea. When I start thinking about my day, if I go into that part of my mind, then the dreams just vanish, and chances are I'm never going to see them again I'm not going to have the recall, and I also know this because so many times, because I often go back and review my dreams. So many times are dreams that I don't even remember writing down. And so circling back, it's the same with those flashes of inspiration. We have to honor them in the moment and you've just got to grab them and hold on to them and just apologize to your friends apologize to the delivery person whatever it is, grab hold of that inspiration. inspiration is like a guest.  And I don't let you in, then you're probably not going to come back.  And it's the same thing with inspiration, you we've got to honor inspiration like a guest. It's this it's also like a faucet. The more I turn that faucet the more the water is coming out it's the same with into it not intuition, although actually intuition's very related it is actually the same with intuition as well but inspiration. The more I'm connecting to my inspiration the more again I'm honoring it the more I'm receiving it as it's coming to me the more it comes. To the previous metaphor, the like a guest the guest comes back, but we have to honor it we have to really make it a priority. If we do that, then not only do we encounter fewer blocks but when we do encounter blocks, they're easier to get beyond my experience. Now this is probably where silencing the inner critic comes into play right we're all familiar with this we all know the inner critic really really well. The inner critic has a role. We don't hate the inner critic, although sometimes he or she shows up at the wrong time right. So this is, this is you know in bird by bird and Lamott talks about shitty first drafts. The inner critic has no business hanging out while we're doing our first drafts and when I say first draft again using a writing metaphor, but it could be the first sketch that I do for my painting, whatever sort of creativity it doesn't matter it's just iteration of your creative endeavor, just let it be shitty. Excuse my French, just let it be messy and smelly and just get all over the place, the inner critic has no place being there at that point in the game. We have to be able to take risks and make mistakes and experiment, and we can't do that if we're already editing and censoring and and and doubting. Well that's the first draft but what I'm arguing is that it's the same for those flashes of inspiration that when the ins when we get hit with that that title that image whatever it is that resolution to the to the issue we had with our current project. Don't censor it don't edit it don't say I don't think that's so good just see where it takes you. And eventually that flash of inspiration, it's going to get you to the city first draft, and then the shitty first draft is going to become a slightly better and a slightly better until it ends up becoming a polished a polished product, and that's where the inner critic is going to be helpful, showing you what needs to change and what doesn't that sort of thing. But if you don't want to be blocked, then don't put up blocks to the inspiration to your creativity. They're going to try inner critic to come back later. They have a purpose. Speaking of inspiration, something else to consider particularly as we move out of the pandemic, one thing that I'm really excited about. And I just did an entire episode of the San Francisco Writers Conference podcast devoted to this is community. We can now I mean it's great that we're doing this online, and I think we're going to continue to do a lot of stuff online because it allows people from all of the world to attend these sorts of events and I love that aspect to it. But I'm also really excited as I suspect many of you are to be able to get out and see people face to face and engage in community activities face to face. So, using writers as an example because this is just an easy one whether it's a writer's group, whether it's a literary event, whatever it is. It helps us to stay motivated and inspired. You know when I was in a writing group I knew that every two weeks I had a deadline. So it kept me going. When I go to Babylon salon which is a literary series that I really like. inevitably when that when that event is done, I just want to run to my laptop and start writing again it's I'm always so inspired. So, participating in communities whether online or now, hopefully also in person can be a great way to get unblocked to stay inspired and to stay motivated, particularly as we come out of coven and get to see people face to face again. So, let's wrap up with the idea of, excuse me. There are a lot of people who will tell you how you should do this. Again, this being painting, music, art, writing. There are so many people tell you how you should do it they have the way and you should do that. Stephen King says writers need to be reading constantly. Lots of writers say you have to write every day. Lots of writing organizations say you know word count, you got to write a certain amount of words per day or per week or whatever it is and that's how you become a writer through that through that practice. Well, personally, I don't read half as much as I would love to. I wish I could read so much more I do read obviously but just not as much as I would like to. I don't write every day, and I don't use word count goals. I have all that. I have published three books. I have one a few awards and my fourth book like I already talked about. It's, it's starting to take shape. So, I'm not taking issue with any of those tactics, right. That's not that's not the point reading is great. Like I said, I love reading, writing every day would be ideal. And I think that word counts goals can be really really helpful to a lot of people because yeah you see at the end you've reached that that that word count goal and you have something tangible that shows that you've been at it you have something to show for it. So I get it. My point is simply that what works for Stephen King, what works for someone in your writing group works for me might not work for you. My point is, I would argue that each of you each of us has a much better chance of staying unblocked and inspired and creative and productive and motivated. If we find our own processes and we do that of course by by experimenting. I am never going to be one of those writers I admire them. I'm never going to be one of those writers who gets up at 6am before the work day and writes for a little while I've tried it it literally makes me feel nauseous my body is not made for that. Instead half of the writing that I do gets done between 11pm and two or 3am I am a night owl I am one of those people who physiologically that I'm just incredibly productive at those at those hours which is one of the reasons I'm so glad I don't do the nine to five anymore. I need my own schedule, but I'm extremely productive no one's emailing there's no place to be it's quiet so that's what works for me and a lot of you. The idea of working from 11 to 3am is not going to work for you right so the point is again is to find our own process find what works for us. So, as we hopefully continue to move out of coven. I hope you will set yourself up to have the time and space to be creative if you're not already set up for that. I hope you'll take an honest look at projects that might have served their purpose and take definitive action on ones that you've been putting off, including facing any fears that might be getting in the way. I hope that rather than working yourself into the ground, you'll see the value and occasionally taking time away from your projects, and that you won't let your inner critic get the better of you, instead allowing yourself to take the risks and experiment and make mistakes. I encourage you to take care of your overall well being so that you can approach your creative endeavors with a clear mind, thereby allowing you to open to inspiration. And when inspiration shows up. I hope you'll receive it like a welcome guest honoring it so that it comes back again and again and again. Lastly, I hope you'll seek support from other creatives and that rather than simply following someone else's process you'll find one that works for you, one that enables you to come out of coven creatively. Thank you. Thank you so much I'm inspired already. Good that was the hope that was the point. Does anyone have any questions just like raise your hand or no one's put anything in the chat space, although I guess no it looks like Nancy. I see some stuff there. Nancy has a question Nancy do you want to ask Matthew directly you can unmute yourself. Yeah, hi. Hi Nancy. Hi Matthew thank you you have some good suggestions. I guess I'm just dealing with I'm bored to tears with myself I'm so lethargic. I, I'm retired, I sunk into coven, and just, I'm just going to say existed I'm not saying this is a good way to get through coven. But I can do an amazing amount of nothing. And, and I'm looking at that now, like this is why I'm here today is how can I get myself out of this leather G. And you had some suggestions. Thank you for moving forward I think the art you know I do have the artist way might be a good time to pull it out. I mean, if you have any other other suggestions addressing just a lot of G how to get yourself moving, although you had other good suggestions so if you don't have anything else I totally get it. Well I mean the two things that come to mind that I did already say but I'll just underscore them the just off the top of my head the two things that come out. I just three things come to mind.   Part of that might be what I just got done talking about with which is also regards to community right you came here tonight, because you know you knew that being with other people was going to help you to kind of get back on track and start flowing again and hopefully start the process of getting you reengaged. But then the third thing would be that expression that I said because it's always about this action is the key to happiness do one thing. Do one thing that's going to get you out of that lethargy. Again, this is this is the first thing so maybe for you it's doing the second thing. Okay, but off the top of my head those are kind of the three things I would do it sounds like figure out something that inspires you outside of the house. Join up with some other people, and whatever it is just take that next step because as you take one when we take one step again the doors. There's a cascading effect. So that's, that's what I would recommend off the top of my head. Yeah, I have a I have a little project that I, you know, I keep going. Well, who would want that. Just in terms of getting me moving. I guess it's good to move forward with something. Well my my my quick response to that and then we can go to somebody else but my, my quick response to that would be, it doesn't matter who would want that. Do you want to do that. Right. I if I wrote my novel because I'm hoping that you know it's it's going to be a bestseller in my happiness and my satisfaction with my creative endeavor is is is dependent on that then I might be setting myself up for for for disappointment. So I think, and I hope that's the case I'm still hoping to have a New York Times bestseller it's not that I don't want that, but I have learned that it has to be at least for me about I'm doing this whatever form of creativity is I'm doing it because I love it because I have to do it because I want to do it for me. And usually inevitably it is going to resonate with somebody else but even if it doesn't just theoretically, if you're doing it for you, then that's not that's not a problem. And so I would start there. Don't think about how it's going to resonate with someone else just are you enjoying it are you inspired by it if so keep going ahead and and again be surprised at what doors open as a result of that. Thank you. I appreciate that I have I have some friends who are quite so encouraging so I will try to keep your words in mind. Then I would also then, then I would add. Be careful who you're who you're getting sure who you're asking for feedback they might love you and they might have your best and your best intentions or your best, your best whatever that word is at heart. And if they're telling you I know just just drop it. I would I would question who you're who you're looking to for that sort of support. Okay. Thank you. Yep. Hi. Diane LaBeau. Okay, go ahead. Hey, well thanks Matthew that was a great talk is my sound okay. Your sound is amazing. Well, Matt, I just finished my book and had my first launch you can see it behind me there, dancing on the wine dark sea, and Matthew really helped me get it finished and is we're out in the world with it now marketing it. So everything he said is true. It's interesting. I'm a tremendous procrastinator. It took me decades to finish this travel memoir, as all my friends know and they're cheering because they don't have to hear about that it's not done anymore. Thanks Kate, and thank those of you who are at my launch. I feel well. First of all, the, the, the pandemic was actually good for me. It wasn't that different than the way I live all my life. I'm always in libraries or my study. And then I get together with writers, or friends now and again. So that was not that much of a hardship. And now in a way it's a transition because now I don't have the schedule to get my writing done every day. I'm free of anxiety to a great extent, but I'm learning a whole new process of the marketing thing, which is kind of overwhelming. So I'm trying not to be overwhelmed by that, but I'm also enjoying taking a break, and people ask what my next book will be. And am I supposed to feel anxiety about I don't know, I just, I feel really happy. I don't have an anxiety list at the moment. That is an enviable position to be in. I would just enjoy that as much as possible. And yeah, you just launched your new book. So the, you don't have to figure out what your next one is yet. Yeah. If you're happy, that's the goal. Right. So if you're organically compelled later on to take on another project, then your gut your heart will tell you that later for now just be happy and focus on this most recent victory and getting it out into the world. Well, Matthew, you're a wise person and I appreciate and so many of us appreciate your words of wisdom, including Aristotle's. Thank you. Thanks. You had a comment in support of Nancy, did you want to talk for a second about what what's inspired you recently. You're muted. Okay, I'm unmuted. First of all, congratulations, Diane LeBeau, I'm so excited about your book and I wish I'd been there in person but I did see the clips. And I think what you just mentioned about Matthew and how important he was in, you know, really helping you finish the manuscript and get it off off the desk and published is so important. What happened to me was during the pandemic. I think I did go through what Nancy is describing this lethargy, and it was very, very deep. And I think, you know, again, my mind body was so preoccupied with the grief of seeing the city empty. And my son, far away in South America, trapped, and we all felt trapped. And I couldn't really disengage from those anxieties and come back at the same time I was trying to promote my book which had launched in June of last year. So, I think what what really connected with me and this might sound a little weird, but when the Black Lives Matter movement came through San Francisco, I enrolled in a class on white supremacy. And that caused me to go deep within myself to really investigate white privilege with an online group. Once I began doing that, it, it again inspired me to begin looking more closely more closely at my own life and seeing it through that lens of white privilege. And then that led me to another class, which was called memoir fusion to look at the ways history and other aspects, different contexts connect to one's individual life. I know Diane looks at that in your memoir, but to do a personal memoir and see how it intersects with other groups further inspired me to think about that and begin writing. Those were the points of inspiration I never would have imagined would occur that came out of the pandemic, and just hit me right in the eyes and began a whole new process of self reflection, and therefore a new expression that led to writing. So, those are ways to look at how community, even if it's online. And now in person can really enrich who we are, and how we are inspired. So, I love that Matthew, everyone's process is unique. But I love thank you for sharing that because I love that, you know, you did get into a funk like we all did. And yet you also you were open enough all the same and maybe it took a while maybe it wasn't overnight but you were you were in tune enough to that inner voice to that that, you know that that inner voice that that feeling in your guts saying there's something here I want to explore there's something here. Maybe you didn't know what it was initially, but you again you took that action. And then doors open now you're in your second class that's a result of the first class and you've you've undergone this entire sort of exploration that that you never you never necessarily even saw coming. And again to your point to the point that we've talked about a few times already community played a huge role in that as well. So but again it started because you decided to take that class you heard that voice inside you saying wait there's something here you need to explore you honored that you took an action, and, and it really paid off so yeah thank you for sharing that. Yeah, I'm always struck myself about how the people that I hang out with if they are passionate about their, their projects, then some of that passion always kind of rubs off on me. So it's infectious it's absolutely infectious, which is just I love that aspect of it right it's really sort of it's sort of magical in that sense I can't. I can't listen to Kate sharing her experience without getting without getting excited myself and and inspired and never mind Iance experience which I know intimately but yeah we can it is infectious and that's why community is so important that's why I did do that that entire episode on the San Francisco writers conference podcast, because I didn't have community when I was starting out for so long I was one of those writers like so many who was in the turret for 10 years just kind of doing it by myself I tried to find community I wasn't successful, and, and I ended up finding it and then once I found it I realized what I'd been missing and how valuable it was so. Right. Um, let's see Jane has a comment about you know appreciating your self care tips. Jane did you have anything you wanted to add. Nothing else really just thank you is a really great session. I especially appreciated how you talked about people have to follow their individual path, because you're sitting in session after session sometimes it seems like people sometimes teachers say I've got the answer you do this you do this you do this, and you know, I try it. You know, I agree I think that I have to find my own system my own hours, my own way of putting it together. Yep. Thank you Jane. You know another example of this that came to mind as I was preparing my notes today but they were already etched enough and stone that I didn't add it was just that idea of outlining right again using a writer's example because that's that's what I do. So many people so many teachers will say you've got to have an outline you've got to have an outline now an outline can be really beneficial. But for me it was sort of middle ground and I have also I kind of I have a loose outline is what I mean by middle ground, but then I've also talked with authors recently some very very successful authors who just don't use outlines at all, which again just underscores that some people say it's absolutely necessary. Some very successful authors don't even bother. And then for me, there's there's middle ground and I assume there's lots of middle ground for other people but I, there is not just one way and that's the beauty and mystery of creativity right that's that's why it's so exciting it's not our rational mind that we're talking about here. It's not a series of steps. This is how you do it and you get to the end. We have a place for that that's you know the reason and logic have a have a have a place, but the fun and the excitement and the enchantment and the inspiration of creativity is that it's not anything's possible, including how we do it, and that's that's exciting to me. Great. Well, does anyone else have any questions or comments. Personally, I'm looking forward to the San Francisco Writers Conference starting up or being hosted again in person in February, President's Day weekend, and myself getting super charged. You will see me there, you will see me there and again live in in person that's the exciting thing. Right. It actually because last year didn't happen at all even virtually so. So again, knock on wood barring any strange variants or other other surprises yeah really excited that it's going to happen in 2022 live in person at the, what is the highest downtown right. You know, it just struck me. Something that you and I have done Matthew and I became friends over the pandemic, and two times now we've gone for walks because that's what you do during the pandemic is go for walks and hash out issues that we've had with our projects professional and personal and each time it's been really helpful. Yeah, for me at least I don't know about you Matthew depends to talk about the open air. So, anyway, when you are struggling with something sometimes it helps to just get out of your comfort zone get out of your living room or wherever it is you normally work on your project. It's just someone that you might not normally talk to about your project, and just breathe fresh air and hear what that person's take is on on the issue that you might be having. Sometimes it really is as simple as a change of scenery, right, especially when we've been stuck at home for a year. And that change of scenery might just be a walk around the block or even better. If it's a walk around the block with with a friend that you can bounce ideas off and help. But but yeah I mean it's really really important, especially if you're feeling that lethargy if you're just feeling kind of enclosed. Good news is you can get out now so get out even if it's just a trip around the block, even better if it's further afield. It's really really helps just to clear everything if we can change, get it get a change of scenery, especially after the past year. Exactly. Alright, well I want to thank you Matthew for as always for sharing your, your knowledge and experience and thank everyone for joining us because, you know, I think that the exchange of ideas we've, we've had today has definitely added to the presentation. Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. That's the point. Yes. The exchange of ideas. Alright well thanks again and I hope you all have a nice evening and stay safe. Thank you very much. Thanks. Thank you. Bye bye. Bye.


So we're going to jump straight in with you trying a question yourself. If you aren't sure, watch part one first. Find the equation of the line that passes through the points 2, 10 and 5, 1. Pause the video, work out the answer and click play when you're ready to jump. Did you get y equals negative 3x plus 16? If you got it right and you want to skip the explanation, click here. Otherwise, keep watching. So we start by finding the gradient. I'm going to use that really easy little equation with 2, 10 as my ones and 5, 1 as my twos. So we get 1 minus 10 divided by 5 minus 2, which gives us negative 9 divided by 3. So our gradient is negative 3. Now using the y equals mx plus c format with the gradient m as negative 3, we have y equals negative 3x plus c. So to find the missing y intercept, the c, we just substitute in either 2, 10 or 5, 1. It doesn't matter, just choose one of them. I'm going to use 5, 1, so when x is 5, y is 1. So 1 equals negative 3 multiplied by 5 plus c. So 1 equals negative 15 plus c, a little bit of rearranging, add 15 to both sides, c equals 16. So the gradient m was negative 3 and the y intercept c is 16, which means the equation of the line is y equals negative 3x plus 16. So that is all there is for finding the equation of a straight line through 2 points. We use the y equals mx plus c equation and for the gradient m, we've got that really easy little equation. And then to find the y intercept, you just use a set of coordinates from the question. And that's how you find the equation of a straight line through 2 points.


Hey, what's up everybody? So this video is in honor of Shane Dawson releasing his new video tomorrow. So if you just came for the video, I'm going to be reading from a chapter of my upcoming book called Canceled, which is examining cancel culture as a whole. So in this chapter, we're gonna talk about people who can never be canceled like Shane Dawson, Jeffree Star, Tanimojo, and even Keemstar. So if you just came for that, fast forward to the timestamp that's down below on the bottom of this screen, but for everybody else who is following me, subscribers and everything like that, give me just a minute, I just want to give you some updates real quick. All right, so yeah, as many of you know who have been following me on social media or you've been watching the little trailers and everything, I have been working my butt off on this new book called Canceled and I was inspired to write it after speaking to some people at VidCon. And yeah, so like I said, Shane Dawson is releasing his new video tomorrow, so real quick update.  I'm like, okay, well maybe he'll release it on Wednesday. Sometimes he releases stuff like during the middle of the week or whatever, but he announced that he is releasing it tomorrow, Friday, which is the same launch date as the book and the book is free, by the way, if I didn't mention that earlier, it's absolutely free.  So I'm going to push back the release date until Monday. Okay, so bear with me, I wanted to give you guys this video, so you got some more stuff, but yeah, for those of you who have been following, I've released a couple preview chapters. There's been a lot of people talking and just to clear up some confusion, this book isn't just about me. As somebody who has examined a lot of different stories over the last couple of years, this book is mainly examining cancel culture as a whole. So not only will I be sharing my story and my experience, but I will be examining many other different cancel culture experiences that I've witnessed over this time and it's not just going to be talking about YouTubers, I'm also going to talk about some more mainstream people as well. So real quick, like I said, this book is absolutely free. There's a suggested donation of $5, so I just wanted to take a moment for everybody who's donated so far, like I really, really appreciate you. I wanted to thank you so, so much. And like I mentioned, like mainly the first hundred bucks of the money that's donated will be going to my editor, Zach, so he can edit the audio version of this book. All right, but anyways, I wanted to thank all of you, sorry for the delay, make sure you're following me on Instagram and Twitter. I'll be giving you more updates, but as of now, the book will be released on Monday, but there's a couple of few preview chapters up over on the website. So this video is going to be a little bit different. I hope you enjoy it, and I'll see y'all soon. While examining cancel culture, I've observed something that's absolutely fascinating, which is cancel culture immunity. They're creators who we're going to discuss like Shane Dawson, Jeffree Star, Keemstar, and Tana Mojo, who are immune from being canceled. I'm extremely analytical, and I try to understand why some people get canceled and others don't. While I don't have peer reviewed scientific studies to turn to for these answers, I have some theories that I'll be explaining in this chapter. Before we move forward, I want to make it very clear that I personally don't believe that any of these creators should be canceled. My goal is for us to further examine why there isn't much rhyme or reason to cancel culture or the hate mob. Aside from Shane Dawson, every person on this list has done or been accused of things far worse than others who have been canceled for much less. I truly believe that this is based on the psychology of expectancy theory. I'll be revisiting some of the ideas I discussed in a video I did in January of 2019, titled, Why Jeffree Star, Trisha Paytas, and Tana Mojo Get a Free Pass. While I don't believe any of these creators should be canceled, the justification cancel culture uses is that people need to be held accountable and justice needs to be served. In many of these stories we're about to discuss, neither of those things really happened. If anything, these creators got a slap on the wrist compared to others who had lesser crimes but their heads were put on the chopping block. We'll start by discussing Tana Mojo. I believe Tana Mojo is safe from being canceled because of her brand. Expectancy Theory teaches us that we expect different things from different people based on what we know about them. When it comes to Tana Mojo, people don't expect that much from her.  The music video actually starts off with her waking up late, smoking a blunt in bed, next to a nightstand covered in prescription drugs that most likely aren't prescribed to her. By the way, just as a quick note, my girlfriend's friend informed us that this song sounds a lot better when played at 1.25 speed. You're welcome. So Tana rose to fame with a genre that was popular on YouTube at the time called story time videos. In these videos, Tana would share stories about the outrageous situations she'd get into that involve promiscuous sex, underage drinking, and a whole lot of illegal drug use. I think it's also important to note that not only is Tana's primary demographic children, but she's also fully aware of this fact. I'm not here to knock Tana for promoting these things to her young audience either. I come from the belief system that it's the parent's responsibility to know what their kids are watching. Cancel culture has tried to come after Tana multiple times, but it has failed each time. One of the first times was when a creator by the name of I-Dubs made her the victim of his content cop series. If anything should logically end a career, it's when a content cop is made about someone. In this video, he showed without an ounce of doubt that Tana lies constantly and exaggerates her stories quite a bit. Worst of all, she made claims that I-Dubs is a racist, but the content cop showed multiple times in which Tana dropped the N-word with the hard R. Between then and now, much more has happened. Everybody remembers Logan Paul filming a dead body in Japan, but nobody discusses that Tana Mojo did the exact same thing. While her and her friend were having one of their famous wacky days, they went into a bathroom at the beach and there lay a man either dead from a drug overdose or about to die from an overdose. This story is talked about so little, whenever I bring it up, people leave comments that I'm somehow mistaking her with Logan Paul. One of the first videos I made about Tana was talking about her substance abuse. As a recovering prescription drug addict who knows how easily kids are influenced, I had a responsibility to let the viewers know that this wasn't okay. I didn't focus on the fact that she smokes weed because I don't have a problem with other people smoking weed. The issues that I brought up involve her bragging about her illegal prescription drug abuse with drugs like Adderall and Xanax. I even included a clip of Tana driving high on Xanax without a license, which led to her crashing the car while her and her friends laughed about it. Finally, in June of 2018, because of a grudge against VidCon, Tana decided she was gonna throw her own convention called TanaCon. This convention was thrown out of spite and held on the same days as VidCon for cheaper and right down the street. Thousands of people showed up for this event and many traveled from different parts of the country and some traveled from different parts of the world. Unfortunately, due to poor planning and not understanding the massive project of throwing a convention, it failed miserably. Thousands of people were waiting outside in the sun, getting sunburns for hours on end and the event was canceled on the first day. This was one of the biggest disasters the YouTube community has ever seen. Luckily, Tana's friends with Shane Dawson, who ended up doing a small documentary after the event failed. At the end of it, Tana was able to pass all the blame to the CEO of the company she hired to put on the event. Many people got refunds, but there were thousands of people who lost a ton of money traveling to this event that flopped.  It's a year later and since then, Tana has gained millions of subscribers and even got her own MTV show. Compared to the other stories we discussed in this book, are you confused yet? It's now time to cleanse our palate after discussing the hot mess that is Tana Mojo by discussing someone else who is immune to cancel culture, which is Shane Dawson.  Shane Dawson has done an incredible job of building a brand that involves being there for his friends, being completely authentic, and doing his best to support other creators. He's one of the original creators on the platform who has built one of the most loyal audiences out there. Unfortunately, when you become that famous, it's sure to attract cancel culture. Shane Dawson has been very open about his struggles with mental health. He's discussed his body image issues, his depression and anxiety, as well as his problems with confidence. Much like others who struggle with confidence issues, Shane originally built his brand, trying to be loved and get attention in any way he could. When he started on the platform, he made sketches and eventually started a podcast as well.  Another rule of cancel culture is to dig through someone's past until you find something that can get the mob riled up. This has been the bane of Shane's existence. Back in the day, Shane used a lot of edgy humor because he felt it would make people like him. Because of this, people have brought up old sketches he's done where he did blackface while playing different characters and people even tried to create the narrative that he was a racist. Shane's edgy humor also spilled over to his podcast, Shane and Friends. By the way, I can't imagine the life of people who actually sort through old, hour long podcasts just to try to find some dirt on someone that might get that person canceled.  Now, if you wanna see what it's like to have a loyal audience, go find the videos people made around this time. Although Shane was greatly affected by these accusations, thousands if not millions of people ran to his defense. Most recently, one of the cancel culture detectives with too much time on their hands found another clip from Shane's podcast in which he made a joke about dry humping his cat and then ejaculating on it. Honestly, I don't see how anyone with any sense of logic could not see how this was clearly a joke. Much like comedians who are constantly being attacked, people use that clip to try to say that Shane abuses animals sexually. It was one of the most ridiculous things that happened in cancel culture in a long time, but the hate mob doesn't care. When they want to attack, they hold onto their narrative with a kung fu grip and refuse to let go. I haven't even listed all of the attempts cancel culture has made on Shane.  He messes up just like the rest of us, but he doesn't seem to have a malicious bone in his body. I personally believe cancel culture can never take down Shane because of the loyalty he's built over the last decade. The other thing that he has going for him is that every large creator who matters will always have his back no matter what. In my personal opinion, I believe a lot of creators, both large and small, kiss Shane's butt because having him endorse you is as powerful as being on the list of Oprah's favorite things. And I'm sure Shane knows this as well, and that's why he keeps his friend group really small. Next, let's talk about Jeffree Star. Before we do, I think it's important to note that everyone on this list is in Shane Dawson's circle in some way. So is Shane Dawson causation as to why these other creators can't be canceled? I personally don't think so, but I think there's a very strong correlation. Remember, Shane Dawson is the golden child of YouTube. It's easy to see how people in the community believe that if Shane Dawson hangs out with these people, they can't be all that bad. I assume that the idea is that despite the massive screw-ups of people like Tanimojo and Jeffree Star, there must be something really good about them if Shane Dawson hangs out with them. So Jeffree Star is a multi-millionaire. He's a cutthroat businessman who has built a makeup empire. He's known for having humble beginnings and being self-made. Now he enjoys all of the finer things in life, like his mansion, expensive cars, and a closet that is worth more than you and I will probably make in an entire lifetime. Jeffree has given the world more than enough reasons to cancel him, but like Tana, his brand keeps him safe. Originally, Jeffree grew popular on Myspace. He also had a successful music career during the pop punk emo days of the early 2000s.  In Shane's series with him, he opened up a lot about his past and how his depression fueled his anger. We were able to empathize with Jeffree in that series, but did it excuse his behavior? On more than one occasion, people have accused Jeffree of being racist. So I'm actually half-black and I personally don't think he is, but the n-word was a go-to for him for a long time when he was pissed off. There are many old clips of Jeffree Star being called homosexual slurs, and then he retaliates by calling people racial slurs. Aside from that, people make other claims about Jeffree being racist, but I personally don't believe those claims hold much water. One reason Jeffree can't be canceled is because anyone who has tried to speak out against Jeffree or even acts petty towards him has had it blow up in their face. It's honestly like watching Wiley Coyote go after the Road Runner.  This is the same thing that happened to people like Manny Mua, Laura Lee, and Thomas Halbert when they tried to go after Jeffree. Whenever someone goes after Jeffree, he sits in his mansion on social media platforms like Snapchat and Instagram, drinking Red Bull from a straw and laughing at the failed attempts to take him down. He is completely self-aware of the power he has in this community. After the James Charles incident, I'm now convinced there's nothing anyone could do to cancel Jeffree Star.  Jeffree Star, with his millions of followers, backed her claims and even said he had evidence. He claimed James Charles was a danger to society and we later find out that he had accused James of sexually molesting or raping straight men. Not only that, in the heat of his anger, Jeffree publicly attacked James's little brother on Twitter as well. Before James Charles was able to clear his name, most of us in the community began to realize that this situation was being blown way out of proportion. People even started accusing Jeffree of lying, but Jeffree claimed he had enough evidence to bury James Charles. With the allegations Jeffree was making about James, anything short of video evidence of James committing these serious crimes wouldn't do well for Jeffree. He decided to stand his ground by continuing to say he had evidence to prove it and he announced that he was going to release all of it in a video. Millions of people sat in anticipation waiting for Jeffree's video. Even people who have nothing to do with the beauty community were intrigued by this story and were waiting to see what Jeffree exposed, but it ended up being the biggest tease of 2019 that left millions of people with metaphorical blue balls. Jeffree released his video and claimed that he had since calmed down and decided he was gonna take the high road. He let everyone know that he wasn't going to release any evidence about James, but he still stands by everything he says. So real quick, let me summarize this for you. Jeffree Starr claimed that James Charles was a danger to society and he had evidence of this, but he wasn't going to release the information because he wanted this to be over. He wasn't just making the standard beauty community accusations of someone being a bad friend. Jeffree was claiming that James Charles was doing things that should lock him up for a very long time. I want you to imagine someone saying how much evidence they have against someone like Harvey Weinstein and then saying, nevermind, with this situation, I honestly believe that Jeffree wised up and realized that he didn't have anything except for rumors and if he made a move, it would be slander. Jeffree Starr loves his money and if Jeffree slandered James Charles, he'd either get the hellsuit out of him or he'd have to settle with James for millions of dollars. Nobody with a shred of decency in their body would make these claims and then allow someone who is as big of a danger as he claimed James to be to keep roaming the streets. So yeah, I now believe Jeffree Starr will never be canceled. I can't imagine one scenario that Jeffree could possibly get into where he'd get canceled. Even with the James Charles situation, he barely faced any consequences. He lost some subscribers and quickly gained them back. YouTube continues to reward him by putting him on their trending page with every video he uploads. The saddest part is that even if Jeffree was held accountable for what he did and lost millions of subscribers or YouTube didn't promote his videos, it wouldn't even matter. Jeffree Starr would still be a millionaire who can do whatever he wants without the fear of being canceled. As someone who has been canceled for much less than anything Jeffree has done, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't envious. Lastly, we come to Keemstar. There isn't much to say about Keemstar. He's a cocky YouTuber who has openly gloated about how he can't be canceled even though he's given the internet plenty of reasons to do so. Much like Jeffree Starr, since day one, Keemstar has built his entire brand around being an A-hole. Like Shane Dawson, many YouTubers suck up to Keemstar but for a different reason. To this day, I honestly couldn't tell you why they do either. He runs the TMZ of YouTube called Drama Alert so maybe people are afraid of him. I'm really not sure. It could be the eighth wonder of the world. Like Tana, Idubs made a content cop on Keemstar that got over 27 million views. Not only would you think that the content cop would have destroyed Keemstar's career, but there were many things not even included in the video that happened before as well as later on that should have ruined him. Their clips of Keemstar also dropping the N word with a hard R. And by the way, real quick side note, this is an interesting pattern that I'm just now noticing in this chapter. Keemstar also falsely accused an elderly man of being a pedophile to his massive audience. He even encouraged the doxing of a YouTuber he didn't like named Just Destiny. If you don't know what doxing is, it's when you release someone's private information like their address, phone number, or place of employment. Doxing is usually a death sentence on YouTube, but Keemstar had no problem admitting to it and saying nobody could do a damn thing about it. Finally, there's the worst accusation which I don't agree with at all. Keemstar and I have a history. I've openly condemned the way he talks about mental illness. If there's anyone on social media who has perpetuated the stigma, it's Keemstar. About a month prior to writing this chapter, another YouTuber and influencer named Desmond Etika Amofa sadly took his own life and many tried to blame Keemstar. Even with all of the bad blood between Keemstar and I, I denounced the people who made this claim because it wasn't fair to put the blame on Keem. But it's a serious narrative that was created about Keemstar that still did not cancel him. Real quick side note, this isn't actually in the book, but I just wanna add this. It really doesn't seem like Keemstar has actually learned anything from that scenario because now he's been on social media, poking and prodding at Trisha Paytas, making fun of her potentially being mentally ill. So as we come to the end of this chapter, I want you to reflect on it. Maybe even bookmark this chapter. Compare it to the other stories in this book of people who have been canceled, including myself. Ask yourself, who had worse offenses compared to the people in this chapter? See if you can find any patterns of why some people can never be canceled. I'm seriously interested in your thoughts. Do you think it's because of their brand and expectancy theory? Or do you think it's something else? Feel free to email me, tweet at me, or DM me with your thoughts because this is something that's absolutely fascinating. But yeah, that's the end of the video. That's the end of this chapter. Thank you so much for listening. And yeah, make sure that you follow me on social media at The Rewired Soul. The book canceled is free or will be free and it will be out on Monday. Okay, so make sure you follow me on social media for all of the updates. Thanks for watching. Enjoy the new Shane Dawson film and I'll see you next time.


Welcome back to the Yankees postseason preview everybody. I'm Michael Kay along with David Cohn and Paul O'Neill It was certainly not a normal season just a 60 game season because of what's happening around the world But it was a 60 game season that Major League Baseball was able to get in and we'll start with you David What surprised you about the Yankees performance during the 60 game season? Well, there's so many ups and downs I think just the the the Jekyll and Hyde nature of their team Really surprised me now part of that is the injuries and they've had a lot of injuries to contend with and you can almost Look at the streaks that they've had and and and sink them up with the injuries there and judge at the top of that list So yeah, I mean the injuries again next man up part two And then just the wild swings between winning 10 in a row and then you know going 5 and 15 prior to that Yeah, pretty amazing They started out 16 and 6 Paul and then as as David mentioned 5 and 15 and you scratched your head and they didn't exactly finish strong either So what Yankee team is going to this postseason and what do you worry about the most watching them during the 60 game slate?  They're one of the hotter teams in baseball Does that show up next week or do the Yankees show up and be the better team that they are? So, you know a lot of questions we can sit and try to figure it all out But until Tuesday night, you're not gonna know anything. Well, the


I would like to emphasize, in summer in Vilnius, at the NATO summit, the clear invitation to membership for Ukraine is needed, and the security guarantees on the way to NATO membership are needed. In fall, on our accession to the EU, clear positive decision is needed, and we are also preparing for peace summit, which will guide the world majority to implement the joint peace formula, and it is a global need, the time has come, and the doubts must vanish. Last year, we showed not matter anymore. We cannot accept that our citizens, our people, our businesses, that we have no certainty. And I think those who are helping, those who understand that every step in air defense enforcement is literally saving lives. And the speed of forming these two collisions, the collisions of Petro and collision on modern jets, is literally accelerating peace. And Russia tries to live a frozen war on the territory of its neighbors if it fails to swallow the entire neighboring country. For example, why? For example, why is the Russian contingent still in Transnistria? The Kremlin only needs it to unfreeze the attack on Moldova one day. How long will Europe tolerate this? This question is already more than 30 years old, and it is worth answering. There should be no place for any frozen and or hot war on our continent.


A lot of people use visualization to achieve more of their goals. However, I feel like most people don't use visualization as effectively as they could. So most of the time, people visualize the end result. They see themselves in the new home that they would like to have. They see themselves driving that new car, or they see themselves having written the book. What I think is even more productive and effective is to visualize yourself happily doing the actions that will likely lead you to the achievement of the goal. So instead of just seeing yourself having written the book, see yourself enjoying the scene of the writing that you're doing. I mean, imagine the scene. Visualize yourself doing the writing and see your smile. See yourself in flow that the ideas are coming through. That is what you should be visualizing as well as of course seeing yourself having done it so that you believe you can do it. But seeing yourself doing it in my experience is so much more productive. So that's what I encourage you to do. Think about a project that you so wish you could accomplish and see yourself having done it so that you know it's possible.