Hi everyone, I'm Joe for jasperjasebrakes.com coming at you with a brand new release here on a Wednesday, 2022 Panini Immaculate Football is here. Three box, half case, pick your team number two. Another half case break from a fresh case, load it up on jasperjasebrakes.com if you want to check that out.  Joe Christian, last bond mojo, Cincinnati Bengals, and there's everybody else. Thanks everyone for getting in. We pulled some teams out for a R&B, a random number block randomizer, which we did in a different video, but there are the results. So it's a serial number break just for those teams right there. This next to me, over here, here are the three boxes of Immaculate NFL. Are you ready for some football? We'll use this blank card right there to hide the hits a little bit. We're going to lead off with your Super Bowl champ, Patrick Mahomes. Chiefs, that's going to go to Sean Robinson in the Chief, 48 out of 99. We've got Eric Izuknama, 23 out of 99. Clearly Immaculate, I kind of like that look. Signs of autographs, EZE. This is going to go to the Dolphins, that'll be for Robert. And Miami, more clearly Immaculate, 77 out of 99, that is TJ Watt. Patrick Evans with the Steelers, that's a cool look. I dig this. I think they've done this in previous years. Ooh, and a one of one, Mac Jones.  There you go, Patriots, that's going to be for Logan. They got a new offensive coordinator out there, try to unlock Mac Jones. Nice, Logan. And all aboard the Big Hit Express, whoo-hoo. We've got Reach for the Sky, 64 out of 99, Sky, more Rookie Eye Black autograph. I like the Eye Black, the silver ink right there, nice RPA. That's going to go to the Chiefs, Sean Robinson with that one, caught a touchdown in the Super Bowl. Again, nice. Two-color patch and auto, Damian Pierce, 86 out of 99. That's for the Texans. Texans are our number block team, so if you're not familiar with it, we go by that digit right there. So it's 86 out of 99, we'll go to number six, and that's going to be for Ivan. No, Logan, you got them in, yeah, your order that you placed a few days ago, pick your team two. So a happy accident. All right, next box. Remember, another half case break, load it up, jaspyscasebreaks.com. Get your team before someone else does. All right, we've got Rashad Bateman, 80 out of 99 for Ed and the Ravens. What's going to happen with his teammate, Lamar Jackson? Where does he end up? Ravens work at a deal. My guess is that the Ravens would work at some sort of deal, right? There's clearly Immaculate, Commanders, 39 out of 99, Brian Robinson, Jr. That's going to go to Jeff and the Commanders. And you got Ken Anderson, three out of 10, Ken Anderson. That will be for Joe, last spot in Mojo since San Diego Bengals, Joe Christian. And we've got a Hall of Famer, Cliff Harris, 37 out of 49, Dallas, Ed Peay with the Cowboys. A couple more here, we've got Matt Corral, 14 out of 25, Rookie Eye Black, but with Gold Inc. On there, I think maybe the lower number is a little Gold Inc there, nice patch, nice auto. Panthers, Jeremy with Carolina. What's Carolina going to do with their quarterbacks? Are they going to roll with this guy? Maybe draft a QB. And we've got a Christian Watson, dual relic and autograph, nice RPA, 12 out of 25 for the Pac, go Pac, go. Ale Fonzo with Green Bay. Green Bay figuring out what they're going to do at the quarterback situation. I think they should just roll with Jordan Love, see what they got in them. Give them a full season, give them a full camp, you know, with no one breathing down his neck, you know, get a good veteran quarterback in the room if Aaron Rodgers ends up leaving. You know, worse that happens, you know that Jordan Love's not the guy. Maybe you get a good draft spot for the following year, and that didn't go from there. Or Rodgers might end up staying, but I don't know. With Jets officials flying to California, I think owner too, maybe Jets owner as well, going to California, it sounds like, sounds like they're going to really try to hammer out a deal. All right, third and final box, 23 out of 99 Tyreek Hill, Dolphins, Robert, Logan, he's just being a drama queen, he'll be back, Logan says, Logan's a Packers guy, that's his assessment. But I feel like you wouldn't even let, you wouldn't even let it get to a point where other teams could talk to him. Or maybe that's what he wants, maybe he just wants to get shown a little bit of love, get a little attention, and then he'd be like, no, Green Bay's the place for me. Here's RG3, Joe Thysman, Doug Williams, nice triple relic here, nice trio, 19 out of 49 for Jeff and the Commanders. All of them are Redskins back in the day. Next one is clearly authentic, that is Sauce Gardner, 31 out of 99 for the Jets, that's for Adam Cupperman, there's your defensive rookie, oh the year.  And we've got more Vikings, Immaculate Records, Justin Jefferson, you've got a bit of the past there, Donald, and now the present, nice Justin Jefferson, 16 out of 49, the Viking going to make a move at quarterback, I might have to start thinking about that at some point. And the last one here is nice, rookie, patch, autograph, Chris Olave, 64 out of 99, had a pretty nice season with James Winston and Andy Dalton throwing to him, you've got to say, I mean, there are cars in upgrade there, right? So let's see how Chris Olave does, Matt Smith with the Saints, and there you go gang, I'm Joe for JasperJasperKaceBrakes.com, that was Pick Your Team 2, Pick Your Team 3, half case from a fresh case in the store now, JasperJasperKaceBrakes.com, I'm Joe, I'll see you next time for the next one, bye-bye.


Immediately he knew this was going to be a long day. As if moving construction material up a hill wasn't hard enough, now he had to deal with an entitled woman who refused to move her car. He thought about calling the police, but that would take precious time away from his work. Then, as the woman continued to dismiss and condescend him, this man genius had a brilliant idea. That woman was about to regret ever parking there. It's not like he had asked for all that trouble. He had gotten hired as a foreman for a new house build, something he'd done many times before. But this project was different. The house they were building was on top of a hill, and the only way to get there was by walking up a 250 feet foot path. Naturally, this complicated their work especially when it came to bringing up materials. Thankfully, there was a saving grace. Two parking spots on the street at the bottom of the hill had been reserved for the construction site. Two official no parking signs had been installed to deter anyone who may want to leave their car there. Unfortunately, the signs didn't stop everyone from parking illegally. There was an elementary school half a block from the bottom of the hill, and the foreman soon found that parents often made use of those parking spots. But that didn't face him much until one day. Whenever he saw a parent parked in one of his reserved spots, he didn't say anything as long as there wasn't a truck needing to park or a scheduled delivery. And when there was, he politely asked them to move, and they did so immediately. Most of the time, at least. On the day in question, the foreman received a call from a lumber delivery driver letting him know he was on his way. So he went to verify the parking spots were available, and that's when he saw it. An idling car was parked in one of the reserved spots, and he saw there was a woman sitting in the driver's seat. The foreman assumed she was there waiting for her kid to come out of school. He walked up to her window and cordially asked her to move her car. Scoffing, the woman replied, I'll just be a few minutes, and your truck isn't here, take a chill pill dude. And, as the foreman processed the rude remark, the lumber truck arrived. The foreman thought that, now that the truck had arrived, the woman would move her car and let them park.  When he waved at her to get her attention, she rolled it down halfway and shouted, What? This time with a stronger tone of voice, the foreman told her the truck needed the space to park. And that's when she said something that left him speechless. Can't you guys just unload around me? Jesus, it's not that hard, said the woman dismissively. The foreman was astounded by her rudeness, but her remark gave him an idea. He went over to the truck driver and told him to park his truck parallel to the woman's car, and as close to it as possible. The driver smiled, understanding what the foreman had in mind. This woman was about to get a taste of her own medicine. Behind the woman's car was the construction worker's Porte Potti, and next to the two reserved parking spots was another parked car. The lumber truck was now blocking her side, effectively boxing her in next to the curb. The woman did not notice though, as she was too busy pretending to ignore the construction workers she had just forced to park in the middle of the street. But there was one more thing the foreman needed to do. The foreman called the police parking enforcement office to let them know of the issue. At this point in time, I wasn't trying to get her in trouble. I just wanted a record of why we were blocking part of the street so we don't get in trouble with the city, he wrote. The officer told him she would be there in 30 minutes, but she just wasn't quick enough.  The woman tried to exit her car to greet her son, but the door wouldn't open all the way. By this time, the foreman fully expected the woman to finally understand the predicament she had gotten herself into and try to rectify it. But instead, she had the gall to glare at him as if this was somehow his fault. Her ineffectual rage would have been comical, if it wasn't for what she did next. Now, she was fuming. She awkwardly clambered over to the passenger's seat and stumbled out. After she loaded the kid in the back of her car, she went over to the foreman and driver, who were holding back their smiles. It seemed as if the woman had only just realized that the workers weren't going to back down. She looked at the scene angrily.  Now, she was livid. I'm in a big hurry, you need to move your truck right now so I can go, she barked. But the truck driver had a comeback that left her shaking. Mam in order to unload the lumber on the truck, we had to unstrap it, and per our company policy, I'm not allowed to move the truck with any unsecured load on it, replied the truck driver, trying not to laugh. But neither the foreman nor the driver could have foreseen the spectacle that was about to unfold. Enraged, the woman screamed obscenities at the truck driver. I have somewhere to be, she bellowed. But, unbeknownst to her, the traffic officer who took the foreman's call had arrived and parked behind the truck. The foreman, remaining utterly calm, while the woman yelled at him, replied sweetly. But his caustic reply made the woman see red. The foreman, smiling, told the woman, can't you just pull out around it? It's not that hard. The furious woman cursed him out and stormed back to her car, again clambering in through the passenger's seat. As the officer walked up to the foreman and the driver, the woman slammed her car in reverse and stepped on the gas. She spun her wheels before backing up into the porté potty behind her, knocking it over with a crash. But she wasn't done. She then charged forward, in an attempt to drive over the sidewalk. The three onlookers couldn't believe what they were seeing. Their smiles turned to confusion as she mounted the curb. What was she doing? The woman's attempt to escape her parking jail failed when her car got stuck halfway down the curb. But her misfortune didn't end there. The officer calmly walked over to her and told her to get out of the car. Once she was out, she was handcuffed and made to sit on the curb as the officer called for backup.  Knowing she was in deep trouble, the woman tried to spin the situation in her favor. She lied to the officer, saying the foreman hadn't asked her to move, and had instead told her she could stay in that parking spot. But the officer wasn't having it. She told the woman she had received the foreman's initial call, when she refused to move, and knew exactly what was going on. The woman was doomed. While myself and the driver are giving a report to the second officer, my guys finish moving the remainder of the lumber, and the driver finishes his statement, and takes off to go back to the yard, the foreman recalled. By the end of the ordeal, she was arrested, charged with reckless driving, destruction of property, the porta potty, and driving on a suspended license. Her car was towed and her son's grandmother was forced to come and pick him up while the woman was taken to jail. I never expected her to actually heed my advice to just pull out around it. But I think next time she'll probably think twice about parking in a tow away zone, if she ever gets a license again, concluded the foreman.


A Clockwork Orange's main message can be found within its title, taking something organic and natural and turning it into something mechanical, cold, and inhumane. Anthony Burgess, the author of the book on which the film is based, writes, A Clockwork Orange has the appearance of an organism, lovely with color and juice, but is in fact only a Clockwork toy to be wound up by God or the Devil or, since this is increasing or replacing both, the Almighty State. And this cuts to the roots of the story's message. The relationship between society and the individual, essentially what kind of a world allows for a child to turn into a monster.  Upon our introduction to Alex and his droogs, they are seen as the pure epitome of evil. They assault, rape, fight, steal, and make a night out of all these horrible events. They're enjoying them. At first glance, he appears to embody everything that is wrong with the world. However, as the film progresses, it starts to paint Alex in a less negative light. His actions may be wrong and reprehensible, but there's a certain likability to the character that allows us as the audience to connect with and ultimately feel sympathy for our protagonist. This is something that Burgess spoke about following the film's controversial release. He wrote an article discussing both his novel and the film. In particular, focusing on what makes Alex likable, despite his horrendous actions. First is his use of language. Alex speaks in a hybrid language primarily composed of English and Russian. Although this may seem like a small detail, it ends up telling us a lot about his character. He's cultured, he has an appreciation for the power of the spoken word, and in a dystopian future, the spoken word holds a lot of power. It also helps separate him from those around him. While Dim struggles to form a coherent sentence, Alex's combining language to show his mental superiority. If the world wasn't in such a poor condition, Alex would have all of the traits necessary to succeed. Burgess, in addition to being an author, was also a linguist and said one of the biggest reasons he wrote the book in the first place was to play around with combining English and Russian. It was just a small linguistic game in which I tried to mix English and Russian to make a new ideologue for my hero. Next Alex is a love of beauty, especially with his appreciation of Beethoven. He's an individual, and in a dull world of conformity, seeing someone be unique and have a passion for something helps us connect with him. He appreciates the good that is left in the world, which he finds in Beethoven's work. Oh, it was gorgeousness and gorgeousity made flesh. Compared to Wendy Carlos's score for the film, Beethoven's music is warm, alive, and humanistic, while Carlos's electronic score, although great and a perfect match to the film, feels mechanical, cold, and inhumane. Finally, Alex is aggressive. His acts are seen as wrong, but his care to do something is what draws us to him. This is a fundamental aspect of every well-written character. Pixar's first rule of storytelling is, you admire a character for trying more than for their success, and this on a much darker level applies to Alex. We care about him because he acts, and even though his actions may not be good, action is greater than inaction, and in a world stripped of humanity, Alex's actions are what makes him human. It was important to choose. If we want to choose evil, it's actually human. But we are not only drawn to Alex because of these three heroic traits. We also feel sympathy towards him because of the horrid conditions of his upbringing. Alex is in many ways a victim. That's exactly who I liked him, sir. He has parents that are uninterested in him or as well-being who are willing to replace him once the time comes. That's Jor. He, he lives here now. He rents your room. He has a very clear history of sexual abuse from Mr. Deltoid, his probation officer, somebody who is supposed to help him. Meanwhile, the world at large around him is just as bad. Police officers are corrupt. The police are fond of bringing our victims to the outskirts of this village. Politicians spend their nights in the milk bar, crime runs rampant, and humanity has devolved into the lowest common denominator. According to the film, Alex himself isn't bad. He was just raised in this horrific world. And because of that, he is a horrific person who is plainly evil. And yet because of him operating on this unconscious level makes you aware of things of your own personality, which you then identify with him. In fact, Burgess suggests he is better than those around him. He is a very clear understanding of the world and what he does. Most of those around him are just following orders, not acting on their own free will, while Alex is. According to Burgess, this is what makes him human. He writes the real meaning of the name Alexander, which is defender of men. Alex's actions are what makes him human.  The only thing is, Alex admits that he is evil. Everyone else tries to hide behind a veil of morality, pretending that they are good.  He is the defender of men because of his honesty. He doesn't try to hide what he really is. In fact, he embraces it. That was a real kick and good for laughs and lashings of the old, ultra-violent. Even though his actions may be humanistic, it doesn't mean they can operate in an effective society. Alex is justifiably jailed for his horrendous actions and then offered a choice, freedom for reformation or imprisonment to remain stationary. I don't care about the dangers, father. I just want to be good.  After the Ludovico technique goes wrong, he is stripped of both Beethoven and violence. It's worth pointing out that his love for both of these is still present. And the first thing that flashed into me, Gulliver, was that I'd like to have a right down there on the floor with the old in-out, real savage. However, he cannot indulge in either of his two passions. Society tries to cure violence by creating more of it. Alex's treatment is in many ways barbaric and it all adds to the cycles of violence that made him into what he is. He is now forced to walk around as a shell of his former self, stripped of everything that made him human. Although this may have worked out in an idealistic world, Alex isn't part of one. The violence that he caused still surrounds him, taking one person off the streets doesn't fix a systematic problem. He again falls victim to the violence of the world. It's more violence of the imagination of the mind. I think the film is very important because the statement it makes is about the freedom of human beings to choose. As the title suggests, people aren't mechanic. Human nature isn't flexible. We cannot be permanently changed. And after Alex's torment builds and builds, he is led to suicide. To blast off forever out of this wicked cruel world. When people are stripped down to nothing according to the film, there is no point in living. However, his will to live is stronger than the mechanical bindings. After waking up, he is cured. He can think about anything, do anything and listen to anything. I was cured, all right. By the end of the film, his humanity is restored. His individuality is brought back. His violent ways are free. Burgess describes the ending as a happy one. It's a human finding humanity in a world that has none. Men's original sin is a product of his own will. He willed it himself. And by curious paradox, this will is a rather glorious thing to possess. Hey everyone, I hope you enjoyed. What a dark and twisted movie that is executed perfectly in every sense of the word. But of course, you can expect nothing less than perfection from Kubrick. Anyway, this was episode 100 of the film dissection. Kind of crazy to think about. I wanted to thank everyone for your continued support. Whether this is the first video of mine you've seen or the 100th, I wanted to just say thank you. It really means the world to me and I don't have the chance to say it enough, but I just want you to know that I mean it when I do say it and I'm always so grateful that there are so many of you out there supporting me. It just really means so much. In case you're new here, make sure you hit that subscribe button. I have a new video coming out every Saturday. In case you missed it, I put a link to my last video on the Dark Knight trilogy and some of the philosophies associated with that. So be sure to check that video out if you're interested and I will see you next week. Thanks for watching.


The very offender who just killed somebody at Imafidon Street The street after Akpata Junshon at Ego This is the lady who just killed somebody just now Calling for backup and trying to radio the police officers for rescue Over Thank you What's your name? So what's your name? Gift Gift? What tribe are you? You are from Deta Where do you live? Mother has talked to me Where do you live? Okay thank you So what are you here? You came to fighting in this house? Alright thanks for staying with us Now some people can be difficult to deal with Others can be a nightmare High conflict people they call them HCPs Thrive on conflict and unfortunately your normal Natural defensive responses to aggressive behavior Can actually make things even worse As the case that we just saw in the video This is one out of many stories we read all here these days Now can conflict be better managed? The answer is definitely yes However why do we still have cases of death When there is a conflict amongst partners Now that's the conversation for today please Let's hear what you have to say Remember you can join the conversation Send us an SMS or whatsapp to<PHONE_NUMBER>3 You can also tweet at us at WeishawAfrica1 With a hashtag Weishaw Alright so before we go into the conversation I just wanted to quickly read what Linda Ikeji Had posted about this particular story And for me I found it really troubling That from the allegation It was alleged that this woman was having an affair And of course the partner or the spouse came and met her And I think there was a tussle That's what was said There was a tussle and eventually I mean There was a stabbing and a death right So the woman allegedly stabs a man to death in a do-state She claims he fought her after finding her with another person A delta woman identifies simply as gift Has been apprehended for allegedly stabbing The man to death in ego Local government area of a do-state And in the video scene She claimed that the disease of course he came to fight her Now you see I am from a do-state And I want to give a bit of context Because it seems like Growing up Every time there was a fight In a do-state When we left Kaduna state for holidays And we wanted to go and visit our grandpa Whenever there is a fight in a do-state I mean the next thing you see people It was a very rude culture shock for me The next thing you see people they will pick up bottles And be smashing it on people's heads Like they will smash it on somebody's head For the life of me I couldn't understand Why people would fight to that point of violence Because I was coming from a place Where we were very reserved and conservative And you not get to a place where it seems like Any little aggravation Is either you screaming on top of your voice Or you are picking up bottles Or you are picking up knives and all of that These are things that people are commonly used to In that area So it is possible that this kind of a fight Would have just been that kind of a fight That didn't think that it would get to the point of death But death has occurred Somebody is dead and somebody has been arrested That's why I am wondering and I am asking Really how do we begin to manage conflict Do we always have to get to this point The other day I think it was yesterday I saw a video Of a young man that saw his girlfriend in a club And he went with a big brick Smashing a Range Rover I can't remember what Is it the latest Range Rover vehicle That he had bought for her as a gift He smashed every single glass there So the windscreen, the side doors Everything he smashed the headlamps The rear lights he smashed everything So that is a reaction to That okay there was an aggravation Or there was an agitation And that is his way of reacting But you see the way he had picked up that brick To smash everything If he had the opportunity to smash her head He would have done it So why do we have to get to that point When it comes to conflict That we always have to go The violent way I mean a lot of times First of all most of the time This type of things happen right It happens when these individuals Do not know how to handle themselves First of all conflict is a part of Is a part of life Is a part of relationship It is actually important for People in relationships to fight Is normal But it's how you are able to Come out of it And you are able to Find a resolution That is what makes it better A lot of people have anger management They have issues with their anger They have to go for anger management Because a lot of times You blow things out of proportion Just take it for a few minutes By stepping away from this problem To avoid you being too violent To actually cause a destruction Conflict is something that It can be caused by stress It can also be caused by different things But because you know that It is something you cannot control The most important things For the individual to walk away That's just the best thing Because sometimes on result conflict Is what will cause resentment That you will see the person The person you have to be beaten And you will be more angry Right But at the end of the day You really cannot be in A relationship with someone And not have issues But it is how you are able to Come out of it Is how you are able to Suck out this issue That really helps you become better And in situations whereby You are not able to solve it You take some time off Because it is by This woman now I'm sure that at this point Because the video that I watched She was still looking angry Like her face wasn't remorseful It wasn't as if Oh my God, that wasn't the shock Of oh I've done something bad It's more of I mean It's look at her face now It's just as if she was like Oh well he deserved it He got what he deserved Because she kept saying He came to fight me He came to fight me Then you came back to fight him And another location And decided to stab him In the course of the fight For Alera If you look at the video For what you've said I mean she looks exhausted Look at her close all time There was a real fight There was a real torso Right Like I keep wondering Why I would get to that point Of provocation Right Even though I see Like see I've said it several times That there is no man born Under the surface of this earth Like by a woman Make me carry knife Or do anything You understand Even if I Even if I meet that man On top of another woman Like it's not inside of me It's not there I'm sorry I cannot Yes I am sorry I cannot suspend my senses Suspend my life Just because Yes I love hard I love passionately I can be very extremely jealous If I want to be Right I can be really really protective Of my territory But you see When I get to that point Where you have not respected The love that I've given to you And I get to the point Where I find you With another woman I'm sorry I'm not going to lose my senses And begin to act Abnormal Or begin to act irrational Because now Yes true There is a case of a death What happens to you as a person You are gone Right You're going to jail Your life is completely gone Right Yes Completely gone So all that pleasure Or whatever it is To gain You have lost everything You know So for me I still don't understand Because this is not This is not one case This is not two Just go on social media Go on social media This is the multiple This is the multiple case Of different individuals In different parts of the world You know Taking laws into their own hands First of all This thing you said A few seconds ago regarding You not doing any of these things It's just because You have your individual That is able to identify Your strengths And your weaknesses You're able to You know your worth And you know what you deserve Because one thing That a lot of people do not understand Is that When you decide to be In a relationship Either if it's a family Thus a platonic relationship If it's a work relationship Or a romantic relationship The fact that you've chosen To be with another individual You should be prepared to understand That the both of you Would have conflicting goals You would have conflicting motives You would have needs and wants That are very different From the other person's own Right? You guys don't have different personalities You have different backgrounds You have different upbringings So why would you think that By cohabiting Or by being with somebody You're thinking that it's going to be perfect It's not going to be perfect And that's the reason Where a lot of times People actually You know put things in place I mean I have seen couples That they talk about Before the problem comes They've actually discussed To say okay you know what How do we resolve issues How do we settle some things And if you think about it They will be even Address and approach This type of conflict Is important Because communication Is one of the most important Ways of resolving conflicts If you're not able to Speak with your partner Or speak with your loved one To let them understand How you feel Because at the end of the day The person behaving The way the person is behaving Is not really Sometimes it's not Okay to blame the person For hurting you For instance You hurt me There's every possibility That to that person He or she did not hurt you He or she was basically Maybe doing what he felt Was right or wrong However the person's action Was what hurt you Right And in that situation You have to find love yourself To be able to respect yourself Enough to walk away From something that doesn't serve you Instead of staying And allowing anger To build up to the extent That you're not able to control yourself And then you're committing murder Because at the end of the day The lady claims Go ahead Sorry Go ahead At the end of the day Yeah I said at the end of the day They say I would have cried this year Of course Which means that When you've been doing that thing At some point you'd be like Oh my God Because I'm sure when they say When this man goes to court And the judge gives his verdict She's going to definitely Regret that action Because you're going to That is a life imprisonment Or I mean That is death by penalty Because you took somebody else's life That's murder You know I was going to say that Does it matter the kind of provocation Or the kind of crime It doesn't matter No no no Because some people would say that Is it a crime of passion or whatever Because I think she was claiming Something around self-defense Right Yes That he was the one that came To attack her first That's what she was saying That he didn't attack me And he didn't attack me And hurt me first And hurt me for the place where He tried to fight me Say that you and you Come around to fight me And then The squabble ended up Becoming so serious That it ended up Becoming a death A death situation Which is really crazy But I mean At the end of the day What we are trying to do Is we are trying to see How we can Pass this information to people For them to understand That you can control your anger You can control yourself At the end of the day Who is important to you it's you so if you're in a relationship when you're in a situation that is not serving you you do not have to wait because anger is something that builds up it's so evil and so crazy that one tiny thing if you do not address it it begins to grow and begins to grow to become so big dad the other day when you're even trying to settle this matter you'll be wanting like way too is this this thing that made me angry like this that was almost you know tearing the place down so sometimes you just go to sit down and just think and sit down and just take something take a bath in order for you to not just do something that is going to you know make you get worse there are different types of conflict and at the end of the day it's always important that we learn and we're able to identify this you know these triggers just so that it's either you take yourself away from the situation or you look for a way to ensure that this individual that you're with does not you know trigger you or push you to become to become worse than it already is because at the end of the day you're the one that will suffer the problems at the end of the day absolutely well i just want to ask a question i beg is there anything new under the sun haven't we seen like you know day there is a time people have been cheating since the beginning of time people have been betraying each other since the beginning of time people have been hurting each other right but the truth is there are consequences to every action and whatever the consequence is you have to just like what Christians and muslims and religious you know believers they believe that there's heaven and there's hell and if you don't do right you go to hell right so that's how life is supposed to be handled because there's always the good and the bad so if you are willing to stick to the bad then you know that there is always a consequence because first of all taking a life is like i'm not a lawyer but i know i feel like it's one of the biggest crime ever because you cannot even give a life like it is only god that gives life but you choose to take it because you feel like you can or just because of the anger that just allows you to lose control so so i was going to ask that is this a deeper problem of what we find around us culturally as Nigerians where there is a problem instead of you to sit down and communicate and express what that problem is you know you rather choose the side of violence you know to resolve that thing because now i mean as i mentioned earlier this is something that is commonplace in a dual state my my father would tell you that you know when he wanted to get married to my mother oh they said in that family if it is for cheating they don't cheat if it but are you ready to for the war because when the war starts you know now fight basboos and all of them my father said the problem do you understand like so it's i'm thinking is this a cultural thing right because but then again there was another woman that was provoked to the point where she killed her husband in canoes state i remember or in the north one of the northern states so is this is this a deep-seated cultural problem that we have not learned and understood how to manage conflict all best that we know how to do is when there is a conflict we just retaliate or we react as opposed to responding because you see i like what you said that when there is a situation if you just take two steps backward and look at that situation there's every likelihood that you'll be rational in your response and that is how response are what we see these days are reactions so something happens and this thing goes beyond even relationship with our government everything is reaction right something happens instead of you as a person to handle the situation you would rather go the route of um just clamping back fighting back and all of that as opposed to you taking a step back looking at the situation processing it and then responding to the situation because when you respond to a situation there's every possibility that it's going to go smoothly you are not going to act irrationally you will not go back and look back and regret it so there's a strategy that i adopt whenever i'm upset i keep quiet you know i keep quiet not because i do not have a lot of things that i'm really really wanting to lash out and say but i have learned that the words that comes out of my mouth i can't take it back so when there is a situation my strategy is i keep quiet and i step back and i observe i get to the point where i am calm enough to express the hurt or the pain then you then find me talk about it you know some people might not be patient enough to do that but you see that is a discipline that i have learned over the time i was not always like that right yeah i have learned that discipline over time how to calmly respond to situations well i don't know how people do these things these days you know what but hey i i still feel like you know we have a deep-seated cultural problem that we need to start exactly learning and relearning part of the world so so what i've observed is that in this part of the world the i mean your you individuals do not are not encouraged to express themselves individuals are not encouraged to be vulnerable individuals you know you know the way you go to school and you learn mathematics you learn english you learn there are there are ways to learn relationship because you don't know we all we all move go into relationship even if it's just regular friends right platonic friends we don't actually know how to treat each other but most of the time if you're exposed to you know being able to converse with people you're exposed to being able to i mean you're you're being enabled in in an environment that you're able to express yourself and able to you know be able to you can you can shift certain things aside and just focus on what it is because at the end of the day in families you will hear that oh my mother never told me she loved me my mother always did this or my father always did that and that is from the childhood from childhood traumas that did not grow up to become whoever they are because in their community they did not know what it meant to be assertive they don't know what it means to calm down or to go to a therapist or to go to a a counselor when something is not working right in the relationship because sometimes it's just the heads on heads on we want we have to fight you have conflict of interest you have difference in personalities you have difference in standard and expectations i mean the lack of communication and this and difference in communication style also also affects relationships because a for instance the husband prefers to okay let's let me give an example the wife has a bad day and maybe the husband did something to annoy her and then he comes back from work let's say around 10 p.m facing legal traffic and immediately he enters the house she's like and honey this is what you did to me and she she starts to bombard him without things at that moment you don't know what is in that person's head and most of the time if you are not assertive they are assertive enough to be to understand yourself and your individuality you might end up flipping because it's two sides of the coin it's not just one side like there's one person and then the other person so that's why a lot of times it's always good to have conversations with the person you are in a relationship with in order for you to understand the best way to handle situations if not you will be able to in fact this it came to me going to be worse than this no well let's go on a break right i want us to continue this conversation and hopefully find solutions there were some points that you made i'd like to reiterate that we'll take a break we'll be right back all right thanks for staying with us now if you're just tuning in we're discussing conflict management and relationship and we're of course spotting the red flags now please let's hear what you have to say remember you can join the conversation send us an sms or whatsapp to the rate one 803-4663 you can also tweet at us at waste show africa one with the hashtag waste show all right so um before we went on a break alero i mean there were some really salient points that you made and this is what i always say to people i have learned you know based on experience and the number of years that have been in a in a was called a committed relationship i have learned that um first of all the biggest mistake you make going into any relationship is that line where they say the two shall become one right so automatically the person just believes that we are one and you expect the person to just be like you know there and it's not nothing no it doesn't work that way so i think some of these lines that we take in terms of marital vows should be re re evaluated and you know some should be completely expunged right because you see the reason i'm saying this and i'm saying it is all sense of what's called um responsibility is that you see when you come into a relationship even a friendship i was talking to a friend of mine i just finished her project and i was saying to her that i am sure the time you were contracting us to do this this project for you i am sure you didn't have 100 trust in us she said of course i said yes but what has happened today that we have delivered the project now the trust has been built do you get so but you see a marriage or a committed relationship is something that you just go in immediately and you expect the other person so again this is why when certain things happen you're not able to comprehend it and you're not able to uh mozikot understand it and you're not able to access it properly you just find yourself acting irrational because you you have too many high expectations from this person so when you enter a relationship treat each other as strangers right treat each other as strangers then over time as you begin to grow in that relationship or the partnership or the friendship you then begin to understand everybody okay this is what this person like that not that you just from day one you just expect the person to just automatically just be there for you and you are there for the person it doesn't work that way because when things like that happen right that is where you start to have i was he called um so many emotions that wells up on your inside and if there's a slight disappointment you then find that you are not able to take that disappointment and it ends up it ends up in things like this and you made mention of something around you know vulnerability right that people are not encouraged to be vulnerable you know they don't show any sign of weakness and this goes both ways i have seen girls that have been raised that no if they punch you punch them back i mean i remember many years ago that i was i was in i was in bell in secondary school i just entered maybe jesus one or something before then if my oldest sister slapped me i slapped her back or she hit me i hit her back so i just decided you know what one day at least i've given my life to god you know one day she just came and the usual thing there was a there was a small squabble and she hit me and i just held my hands and i was looking at her like she was really expecting the fight and do you know that that was the last day there was anything of physical confrontation and mind you i have never fought in public like say somebody outside this was only within my house and i still did not find it comfortable doing that so when she hit me that day i just held myself and i was looking at her and that was the even by herself she didn't realize that i don't think this is the best route to solving any problem and that was the end of anything called fight or conflict amongst the both of us so now it is an issue we face it head on with big big english do you understand so i'm just saying that people are not people are not ready you know to just take a step back and understand that these things are beyond what you have been taught because i can imagine where this lady is coming from do you understand if i don't state i'm just thinking how are my people behave you know there's a lot of aggression that happens you know and it is it's a function of even you are joking said you go pick bottle you they laugh you go pick bottle do you understand so at the end of the day if we really think about this day let's let's even let's i don't know if it is supposed to for us to to move away from the i mean get somebody is dead right but you know how Nigeria is some men quick to hit women when it comes to conflict so there's very possibility that this man has been hitting this woman countless times that she couldn't take it anyone she's like you know what whatever wants to happen to the next happen but there's no excuse for any action because of course for every action there's a reaction so the man must have actually you know pushed her today because i am very certain mostly rural areas men actually find it very busy to just want to hit everyone i remember very well my very first driving school the man the person teaching me how to drive the driver i was you know when you're driving learning how to drive for the first time now you've been making mistakes you're scared and all that this guy said he was going to slap me oh i thought he was joking my friend day he said i will slap you now better be able that huh from where to be a we say i said the woman woman woman is woman is be a there will be time to correct them now i was like wow this is this is this is the mentality of most men in this part of the country right or even in this part of the world because a lot of time they feel like violence is the answer for which to hit women so it's possible that this woman was pushed nobody that doesn't excuse for it but it's also to boil down to you know your background and things you have been exposed to because these people are not exposed to what is vulnerability they don't even understand what that means they don't see when people that are learning there are so many learned people at the moment that do not even express affection or or even encourage you know openness in their home so these children will grow up and become something else in the future and then you start to wonder how did it happen where did we go wrong in so many ways it's something that has to be invited and in a human being from when they are young i wanted to discuss i wanted to quickly discuss um go ahead you know a couple of a couple of resolutions you know just to see how the things that how people can actually just because to be honest the type of things that we experience in in in relationship if only we are able to think of a better way it will it will get up to this if the woman has actually thought about a resolution it wouldn't have gotten to the point whereby she's actually you know feeling feeling another human being the person that i would say is be respectful the first thing is to respect yourself because if you do not respect yourself as an individual when somebody is treating you in a way that you do not like you would want to you probably be enduring and acting like it's okay but if not but before you know the moment you continue to endure a time will come you will just you know blow you will burst out and then you will not lose control so the first thing is to respect yourself the second thing is through your word widely because to to prevent conflict you have to be considerate of what you are saying to the other person before you utter words out think about the consequences because honestly there's some consequences that can aggravate you know situations to make it violent which we actually are trying to avoid to prevent conflict is actually be quick to apologize it's not going to take anything from you even if you feel like at this at this moment you are the one that is right just for peace to reign and for for the fact that you are considerate to the other person you have to understand that it will pass and then the both of you can now sit down and sort out the issues you know one on one if you are not able to do any of that ask for help there's too many um mg alls that actually help people you should know you know seek help guess guess it's psychology so it's like so i that can handle you allero i was going to ask you what's the worst thing that a man can do to you that would just drive you up the wall what's the worst like personally right yeah um but this is a very difficult question and the reason is because from from from when i was young i was lucky enough to have a father that taught me how to express myself i will walk away and i love myself too much to allow anybody to thank you all that and the way i will treat myself so that's the reason why i'm able to understand that some people don't have that upgrade and it's our duty to try as much as we can to iterate and keep you know communicating this system how we can help others i will walk away thank you you know i was going to say too and people think that when you say those things you do not love the person no like i genuinely love people deeply i genuinely love people deeply but you see if if my love for you would be rubbish to the point where i begin to have so much hatred for you or i begin to resent you or i begin to not even the feeling or the thoughts of harming you i'm not doing myself any good because you have to be so heavy to be so heavy to what the point you have to be so heavy that you wouldn't even i mean you can't even do other things i remember though the time a friend of mine we had a fight like it was an argument that honestly and in that moment so that seems the person has done the worst thing in the world and luckily for us it was the network that caught the call that we didn't we couldn't connect to each other in that moment where we know having the heated conversation and the next day we just nothing happened and the one we remember they're like come on we're so angry we were actually angry yesterday we're like yes we're angry we're laughing about it all more from god for patience because you'll have to take it thing back it's okay we understand you're human you'll be angry anger is a normal thing but it is left for you to check yourself to be self aware to be self conscious to understand your your your attitude when you know how you're reacting to things just so that you don't do things you know and end up in trouble because that's what absolutely let's take some comments okay i have um i have a couple of comments here um greetings be to ladies of ways please what are the at the advantages and disadvantages of the new note at the game cost of producing the or the cost of producing the notes very but the investors using cost of stop other imminent issues facing the country at the moment bensin i mean bensin this your question is very valid right but i mean from from the from the details that we got i think uva uva can also help in providing more context to that from the details we got they are just trying to avoid the circulation of fake currencies and you know try to avoid a couple of issues that have been happening in the country just to ensure that the naira is being you know secured well can you just help us more like i'm not going to help you we are bringing in an expert on friday so we should tune in on friday okay bensin please thanks to you though on friday we'll have an express that'll be able to give us more details on this absolutely let me quickly read um another comment um the more emotional you are the less logical you are the less logical you are the worse you communicate always take the time to relax and calm down before you try to resolve a conflict when you try to resolve a conflict and become upset you will do something you regret this is for mobe kelezi mobe kelezi thank you so much and it's just the truth take take some time back and just relax think about it because you love this person because most of the time oh i feel lost is that the type of anger you feel is as heavy as the type of love you have for the person oh yes because we don't love the person you will not be that angry so you just like i love you this much let me just relax because this anger is too strong so you calm down yeah so and again people begin need to start to practice the act of self love right yes because if you love yourself enough you will not do anything to jeopardize your future or your life or your happiness or your joy right so if i'm if i love myself enough no matter how upset i am with the other party i will not kill that person not because the person is not deserving of the death is because i love myself too much you understand yeah too much too much to put myself in a messy situation where i then eventually completely ruin my life do you understand my point practice self love once you give yourself enough love there are some actions that you will not find yourself so when i talk to my kids right i don't tell them do not do this do not do bad thing do not i don't give them all that lecture what i say to them is this is your vision this is your goal this is where we are going right does this action or the action you're about to take does it fit into that goal that future that you have if the answer is no by yourself you will recalibrate your mind and you just step back away from those bad habits right i don't need to tell you what to do or what not to do your vision your future the love that you have for yourself and the the goals you have for your life will tell you i do not want to end up in jail so i mean that is how i treat my kids so i tell them whatever it is that you're doing think through it if it is worth it then go ahead if it is not worth it you know what to do right so i mean that's how i approach life and that's how i approach relationships you know because and guess what it is the people that you love the most that hurt you the most so when you already understand that principle why don't you learn how to come no matter how bitter no matter how pain i've i've gotten so much pain to the point that you know i my heart begins to palpitate just by thinking about the person i told myself do you want this for yourself if you die uncle won't the person continue their life so i just i mean at some point at some point you just have to you have to grow some balls and just say you know what i love you but i love you from afar right whatever it is that you're doing you're hurting me i don't want to get to that point where i begin to lose the idea of hurting you right so let me take a comment yeah okay it says anger management is key for everyone who has said it or keeping quiet and cool in the face of provocation or walking away is necessary at the heat of squabble you may be provoked to the extent of to the extent of committing murder apart from committing murder says something that can never be erased even after reconciliation so this is my take thank you and that's what i said when i'm upset i do not even speak i keep quiet when you see me when you see me when you see me quiet know that i am very very livid and the reason i am quiet is not because i do not have things to say it's just i don't want to say something i cannot i cannot take back because words are like eggs once you say it is gone it's broken you can't piece it together so i'm very careful what i say so if i don't want to say something i cannot take back i do not just say it at all i mean people should just learn that actor is a lot of see that thing is painful in itself being patient being quiet in the midst of a conflict it is the most difficult and the most painful thing to do but when you begin to train your mind right you then realize that everything just becomes easy now it's so easy from any if you like insult me from next day i know get your time i know the answer anyway i'm serious that's what you feel that's how you feel that's okay i remove myself from the equation it's not that deep it's not that deep all right so let me take another comment good evening my beautiful sisters or what are you saying conflict management in relations is spotting the rec flags our actions must fit in into our goals according to sister what it has been it has to be worth it sister what why is a beautiful lady like you stayed alone in the studio all by yourself where are all the ladies please let me ask all of them Daniel hello our way to have fun we don't know whether it is few that cost it or it is flooding or whatever it is they're tangled for virtual participation but hey alea if you had like a final thoughts to put together and piece this together let us quickly touch on spotting the red flags how do we begin to do that okay i mean there are a couple of red flags that we we need to pay attention to and this and the funny thing we red flags that if you don't observe you will never know you will miss it so one of the rest i will actually list a couple of red flags and i'll explain a couple of them just quickly before our time runs out um some people have abusive behavior and like it might be abusive with words or or be you know physically but when you notice that somebody has been abusive you have to just start a red flag you should just look for a way to run away that's why it is like the biggest one of them all that people don't even realize it when they are doing it to them that's why it basically is just about what you have seen you do not see it how you feel you're not feeling it your head you think you're thinking it's in your head the person will make you feel like if you are actually you know just imagining everything sometimes these people these individuals try to isolate you from other people most of the time mostly in relationship oh you come and live with me with your family and come and stay with her take care of you that when the person is not staying with you the person will cut out cut make the individual cut all ties with every other person that's a very good sign to run away from smothering is another thing the person just wants you to be around the person all the time you are around me all the time that's a red flag because you are supposed to be your own individual you are supposed to have your own sense and be by yourself and be having another person around you should just compliment you basically then maybe the person is always rude or the person is always snooping around checking your phones checking your things just you know trying to look for problems or if the person actually has anger issues because that's another red flag why you notice that somebody had anger issues you should actually run away or even a narcissist people that believe that they are all that that just see themselves as everything and if you don't choose them like it's like a second for the problem so most of the time this red flag is a thing that you need to pay attention to and if you do not pay attention to this you are actually going to spot if you even realize that you have gotten too deep because you love this person so much and the person is showing you know abusive and negative characters that you will just think that oh he will change but you need to pay attention to red flag so that you actually end up saving your life and also saving the life of the next person because anger can make you do worse than you can imagine absolutely i was just going to add to that you know that um invest in personal growth and development personal transformation i think where i am today is because i spent a lot of money a lot of time i dedicated a lot of time going in for different kinds of trainings trainings on mind programming trainings on personal belief systems and everything just deconstructing my stroke my my my foundation and rebuilding something new right so i mean if you learn the act of personal personal growth and personal transformation you are constantly improving on yourself you know as a human being there is absolutely no way you be caught in this trap of you know i mean look at the other couple that was viral all over social media that the lady set the house ablaze that if you only took alive that's another abusive relation so that's what i'm saying to you that you know you you get to the point you're not even thinking again you've lost your senses are completely gone you lost your senses so i mean you must invest in personal growth and development anybody that is not growing you are not learning something new and you are not growing you are a danger to yourself and you are a danger to the world and i was going to add this final thought that what you cannot take as a person 20 years down the line do not start to accommodate it today because guess what the partner does not change the person does not change right you know so that behavior it only grows it it broadens and it begins to now it now becomes an irritant to you so whatever it is you cannot stomach you cannot tolerate now do not i mean i mean 20 years down the line do not start to stomach it now because guess what those are the things that eventually agitates you to the point when you begin to commit crime you know in the name of oh it was love that made me do it so please let's also avoid this some of these things are avoidable some of this death are avoidable and we can truly rise above this but thank you so much allero i think we've had a fantastic conversation thank you to everyone for sending the messages we're hoping that people would do better we're hoping that we're going to see less of these issues around killings of spouses or of partners please we need to start to talk to ourselves now before we go and show you follow us all over social medias at waste your africa you can interact with us further drop a comment and more importantly follow all our engagements on social media like share and invite your families and friends to watch and follow the conversation now if you missed our quote for the day here it is again a strong relationship requires choosing to love each other is a choice either in those moments when you struggle to like even sorry even in those moments where you struggle to like each other i mean the choice of being with someone is a choice right so even when you are angry you still choose right to just love each other so that is a sense that yes you are ready for a relationship but if you are if you are not there emotionally do not go into one we'll see you guys tomorrow at 8 p.m. our ladies night out as we bring another great conversation to your screen enjoy


When I finish my studies, I will become a pilot in the future. Kumana wanjerezin kumuzaara, atita aniga aine, mga nubaba betaba na magoe. Kwa unka mukura kweye, akati nebizubu birya ubya manu. Tani kakwe ganasare ya jumara ya tani kapurain male. Kwa kwa iti umu chakatan, kwa ya da kumutamu boarding. Na ono ya atunji irobu zibu. Ushemiruri ya marakwa anga umutiri kabasa kupuwa naba na balibati ya kubaraz. Ngubarabati na kubarasa kujenan kechi zibu tibu tibu akunaji. Echi ba atungu. The school authority had beaten their ability. It was also acknowledged that this child had suffered a lot of trauma. And she had a lot of psychological unrest. And for this, some pecuniary payments were made to this child. It was a great compensation. Children with albinism should not be isolated and should be treated like other children. Advocate for the realization of reasonable accommodations as provided for under the CRPD. And also for persons with albinism in particular, empowering them to advance their own rights in partnership with other interested actors. And for sunscreens, for example, and sensitizing the people on what a person with albinism is trying to find and dissipate myths and misconceptions about albinism. And also ensure that the right to health is respected. We celebrated that we are part of the disability act. It didn't come easy. It came with support from partners like UN Human Rights and other partners that it supports, like the Equoponence Commission and many others. Through them, we have really got doors open to us. Government has endorsed it as its own paper. So for us, we know that we are going to be planned for by the government, so that is one huge milestone that we have.


وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال و أقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي و لا أتأولوا الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على أبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته نبدأ بالنسبة always with the praise of Allah and we begin by asking Allah to exalt the mentioned grand peace to our messenger محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions in this episode in شاء الله تعالى we're going to be talking about homeschooling and to begin with I just want to make it clear to everybody that this lecture is not only for the parents who are thinking about homeschooling their children in fact the lessons from homeschooling are so valuable generally speaking in the tarubia of your children that actually they are applicable to a wide range of people and nearly everybody inshallah can take a benefit from taking some time out to learn how homeschooling works the advantages of it and also some of the potential pitfalls or errors people might fall into and how we can address those and some of the misconceptions that people might have and the reason I believe this is applicable to absolutely everybody or almost everybody is because as a parent you are as we've heard so many times مسولون you are responsible for your child's education your مسول and therefore having the ability to supplement their education at home even if it's not a full-time thing even if it's not a permanent thing having the ability to learn how to use the tools and the skills of homeschooling to teach your children Islam at home for example where Islam Islamic teaching isn't available in a wider context for example or isn't available there aren't for example madaris or schools for Islamic teaching that you can send your children to so ultimately there are many benefits in this for everybody and I don't want to restrict this to a very small number of people and say this is an episode specifically for those parents who are homeschooling their children in fact really this is an episode for everybody to give consideration to the value of homeschooling and what it can teach us in terms of the tarubia of our children and the way that we educate our children will everyone watching this video go on to homeschool their child or their children I think it's almost guaranteed to say that they won't and Allah عز و جل is best because it's not easy for everybody to do although homeschooling is a strange one it's a one where you sometimes the things you think might be difficult are easier than you think and perhaps some of the things you might not have thought about might present some difficulties and Allah عز و جل makes easy for whoever he wills سبحانه وتعالى so really this episode is about النصيحة so I wanted to start with the hadith the hadith is reported by a Muslim in his Sahih from the hadith تميم ابن أوسن الداري رضي الله عنه that he said that the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said الدين النصيحة this religion is النصيحة and النصيحة it can mean being behaving in a sincere manner towards someone behaving in a sincere way towards someone that's what النصيحة is sometimes people trying to say as giving advice and that's that's part of it giving advice is part of it but only the it has a wider context because the hadith talks about giving نصيحة to Allah and to his book and to his messenger so here we need something a little bit more why a little wider in scope than just the words of just to offer words of advice so الدين النصيحة this religion is about acting and behaving in a sincere manner and you know behaving as though you sincerely are you are sincere and you sincerely want good this religion is النصيحة قلنا لمن تميم الداري he said that we said to the messenger of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم to whom should this نصيحة be who should we behave in this way towards قال لله ولي كتابه ولي رسوله ولي أئمة المسلمين وعمتهم he said towards Allah and his book and his messenger and towards the leaders of the Muslims and the general people so this religion it is based around النصيحة acting in a sincere way and behaving sincerely and from those that have a right for our sincerity and for us to behave sincerely towards them and to be نصيح someone who wants good for them are the ordinary Muslims the people who are the regular Muslims all over the world every Muslim regardless of whether they have a status in society or whether they don't regardless of whether they have a position of authority or they don't the عمة المسلمين the regular general Muslims all over the world they have a right that we are sincere towards them and part of behaving sincerely is to offer words of advice الله عز وجل سيده العصر إن الإنسان لا في خصر إلا الذين آمنوا وعملوا الصالحات وتواصلوا بالحق وتواصلوا بالصبر by Allah عز وجل صورة by العصر by time indeed mankind is in a state of loss except those who believe and do good deeds and advise one another to the truth and advise one another to have patience so this episode even though we are going to mention some evidences from the Quran and the sunnah for various points that we want to clarify but ultimately what this is really about is my نصيحة to you as parents or as future parents my نصيحة as it relates to your children's education and my نصيحة as it relates to homeschooling your children wherever possible and I'd already mentioned what I believe to be the dangers of the modern schooling system that we have today and I believe those dangers are present regardless of whether those schools are Islamic schools or not regardless of whether they are teaching curricula that are in accordance with Islam or not those dangers remain there and the need for education, worldly education also remains we don't take away from that so I'm not saying that all of the schools are equal and nobody should ever understand that from me whatever quote me and say to me that Mohammed Tim Sayyed makes no difference if you send your child to an Islamic school or an Islamic school that's not what I'm saying the schools are different they are of many different levels some of them are very very good and some of them are very very bad but ultimately all of them have significant flaws and dangers for our children those dangers can come from the curriculum itself which propagates all kinds of things whether it is some of them propagate atheism some of them propagate religious concepts that are foreign to Islam some of them propagate the equality of all religions some of them propagate rebellion and by that I mean rebellion against authority of all kinds be it parents be it you know question everything don't accept what you're given be you know break from the people be different and so on and often this can cause a person to the negative effects upon them in terms of their Islam where they start to reject the authority of those that Allah has given authority over them like rebellion against their parents and so on and all of these things can be things that are stalked and fueled by curricula that are designed and made by non-Muslims at the very least the minimum you can say is that they didn't consider Islam when they wrote them and some of them were shealteen shealteen devils and they wrote these curricula for the purpose of misguiding our children away from the path of Allah and that is not something which is difficult to imagine so we say that the best of the non-Muslim curricula the best you can say about them is that they didn't give consideration to Islam but as for among the worst of them are those who it's not difficult to see when you look at the content of that curricula and when you see the schools and the ethos of the people that are propagating it that it was designed for a deliberate purpose to take the people away from the path of Allah Subhan Allah and likewise if the curriculum is sound the second problem that you have and bearing in mind with the curriculum we have another problem is that the Muslim countries many times in many situations have adopted the standards of the non-Muslim curricula because they felt that they had to do that or that was necessary to have that standard and so they have adopted also many of the negative things within those things as well on top of that you have the issue of the schools themselves so let's just imagine the curriculum is good and pure and correct but not the ethos of all of the schools some of the schools their ethos is to encourage anti-islamic activity and I'm talking about in Muslim countries when I've seen this with my own eyes where the encouragement constantly from the teachers from the school the ethos of the school is to take the people away from the path of Allah let's just imagine the curriculum is fine and the school is fine the ethos of the school has good Islamic values and encouragement to obedience to Allah and developing Imam and so on and the curriculum is sound then on top of that you have the problem of all of those other children that come together from those different households and not all of them have the same values and you have the problem also of the teachers as well and that's not to be critical of the teachers but not all teachers have one good for their children or for their students some of their teachers they come with ulterior motives and they come sometimes from other religions and again people might say well what's the harm if there is a Christian person teaching my child mathematics but ultimately anyone who has actually been involved in that situation and seen it they will see that the persons it will come out there is no escape from it the persons belief it will come out even if they are teaching you the alphabet or they're teaching you mathematics or they're teaching you science ultimately there will come out it will come out there is no escape from it and it has to happen and this is something that you can see clearly and again will the child pick up on that maybe not will it be obvious perhaps not will it be in a way that harms the child perhaps not but these dangers still remain and even if all of the teachers are fine and the schools ethos is strong and the management is strong and the curriculum is strong then after that you have the other children who come from households that don't all share the same values that you as a parent share so that the other child is saying that or my child you know my mom lets me watch TV my mom lets me listen to music lets me watch movies we're going to the cinema we're going to go to the concert we're going to do this and that and the other and so on so I play with my female cousins and male cousins mixing together and whatever and these are from at the end of the day Muslim families we're not saying they're not Muslim Muslim families but they just don't have the same standards you have and then your child comes home and says why can't I do these things they have this phone and they watch these movies and they do this and they do that and they don't have to study Islam and they don't have to memorize Quran and they don't have to this is still a danger now someone may say and this is a valid point they may say but Mohammed Tim these dangers exist in homeschooling environments as well and you can't wrap your children up in cotton wool and say that they'll never be exposed to a child who will say that to them and I say to you that is true but the percentage and the amount of exposure is there is no comparison between them there is no comparison Subhan Allah a class of 30 children of which half of them are saying this every day for 5 hours a day to your child versus one-off situation in a week in a month where your child comes across someone like that there's no comparison between these two things there's no way you can compare these two things as being equal لا يستون عن الله they're not equal in the sight of Allah nor should they be equal in your eyes to say that to say that the exposure to the Haram that the child would get because your child will be exposed to the Haram at some point yes that's true all of us are tested Allah has created this life for us to be tested الذي خالق الموت والحياة ليبلوكم أيوكم أحسان وعمل you're going to be tested in this life no doubt however whatever you can do to protect your children and there's no doubt that the control that you have over the environment as a homeschooling parent is way way more it is multitudes more than the control that you have when you send your child to school however we understand that homeschooling doesn't necessarily work for everyone so let's explore a little bit about what it is and what are some of the ways that we can approach it the first thing I want to establish is that homeschooling is about flexibility so take out of your mind this idea that you have to make a carbon copy of your child's school and set it up at home for example your child goes to school has five lessons a day with five different teachers the lessons start at 9am and they finish at 3pm and there is a one hour lunch break in the middle and so on and so forth the more you're trying to copy that and paste it it won't work it will be difficult for you and you're actually giving up many of the blessings and benefits from homeschooling so I believe first of all even homeschooling as a definition take out of your mind this idea that homeschooling is about replacing the school one for one homeschooling is about flexibility and that's why I believe it's beneficial for all the parents because you can part-time homeschool your children you could send them to school for a year if you thought that was needed because there is a need we're not denying about the need for education you might be in a country where the child has to take the exams in school for a year or two years in school you could part-time it might be the fact that you're happy with the school in terms of the world the education but you would like to homeschool your children on the Islamic side of things it might be the fact you want to supplement your children's world the education because you might have put them in a school where the academic level is not quite as good in order to have a better Islamic environment and may Allah bless you in that that's an excellent choice is to sometimes compromise somewhat the academic level of the school in order to perhaps give your child a better environment as it relates to Islam but then you might want to supplement it and so on it may be that you work full-time or both parents may work full-time and you may have to restructure it around different timings and things like that ultimately this whole idea of rigid timings and rigid methods is something it works for a school and I'm not here to tell schools how to how to run their schools you know they have experts for that but you are giving up the advantages of homeschooling if you don't embrace that flexibility however I'm going to bring a counterbalance to this flexibility doesn't mean a lack of discipline just having flexibility doesn't mean you don't have discipline and I believe it's really important that you and your children if you decide to homeschool them even if you only decide to homeschool them on the weekend even if you only decide to homeschool them one evening in a week to supplement some kind of education whatever it might be that you want to do to try things out to have a goal that it has to come with a degree of seriousness and adab and discipline manners and the way that the children are taught to behave this is also really really important so for example if you allow the children to just get out of bed and you know in their sleeping clothes just sort of come in and lounge around and you know sort of like pick up a book and put down a book and then go out for a while it ultimately if that's the whole model of how you homeschool the children it is going to cause difficulties because it's going to lead to a lack of discipline and a lack of a work ethic and a lack of adab a lack of manners and etiquettes and these things are all things that Islam gave great importance to for example it's narrated with regard to the sittings of Imam Ahmed that there were around 5,000 or more people used to come to the sittings 500 of them used to write hadith and the rest of them used to learn manners and behavior from the Imam رحمه الله تعالى they used to learn how to behave and used to learn manners so it is important that we have the kind of manners and discipline from that but here is where we can draw upon a rich Islamic history and Islamic material that exist to teach our children and one of the most amazing things you can do with homeschooling is to fuse the benefits that you take from your Islamic education and those that you have from the worldly sciences as well and this is how really I believe this is how it should be my advice and this is how it should be is that this whole concept of secular education we should just take it and throw it out this whole idea of secular education that we separate the Islamic etiquettes and knowledge and manners and the way that we learn and we separate the things that we do in our learning for the worldly life and we never allow any of the two to cross this is secularism this comes from secularism it doesn't come from Islam rather in Islam we want to take those benefits for example what's to say that we can't teach our children the adab the etiquettes of studying from the Islamic sources where they're far stronger and far more robust and far more have far more life far more modesty and far more benefit in them and then encourage our children to apply the etiquettes of learning and studying in Islam the culture of hith you know as another example the culture of memorizing and we've spoken about it how important it is to memorize and we encourage our children to apply that to the worldly sciences in an appropriate way because not everything is going to be the same no doubt the person who teaches you mathematics is not the same as the person who teaches you Quran however there are also ways to connect the two take for example the the material that our children read when they learn English for example take as an example the the examples that our children do in mathematics and in sciences and so on why can't we find ways to tie this to Islam let alone topics like history which overlap in the first place even though generally most of the western curricula have completely erased Islam entirely from history as though it didn't exist but the opportunities for you as a homeschooling parent to reintegrate the worldly teaching and the Islamic teaching and that doesn't mean that we place the two on a level and it doesn't mean we use the same methods for both or that we consider each one of them to be the same but just to find ways to overlap ways to integrate the two and ways to provide a strong Islamic identity to our children even when they're studying worldly sciences move away from this complete separation of the two and like we said Islam has a fantastic tradition of studying and learning and respect for the teacher manners and etiquettes that subhan Allah your child could benefit from immensely as it relates to their regular education and taking it seriously as well so that I believe is also an important part of the benefits of what you can achieve this flexibility and the ability to integrate things you know how many times have you said I just wish that my child would be able to study Islam a bit more you know they have maths and English and science and history and geography and you know all of these things but you know even in some of the Islamic schools the Islamic component of teaching is very small the thing is as a homeschooling parent you have the flexibility to choose you can increase it you can teach Islam two-thirds of the time and you can teach the worldly sciences one-third of the time or more or less or however you want because it ultimately it is your decision how you formulate that education and also flexibility goes even further than that flexibility goes even further than that it even goes to the extent where you change things around depending on the child and depending on the different times of the year when you're busy or the different times when you're not who said that you have to have school holidays from June until September or something like that there's no rule that says a homeschooling parent has to do that a parent who's a home educator has to do that there's no rule for that you can adapt things there may be times according to the seasons where for example in the winter we might have in some places long nights and short days and so you may want to change things around you can change things around according to your children and how they feel and that you don't have to stick to one particular method or one particular standard as long as you still maintain a degree of a degree of etiquettes and discipline as it relates to to studying now one of the ways I was mentioning and I did allude to it earlier as it relates to maintaining discipline is that you just encourage the children to take it as something as being different from the normal home life and this is one of the real genuine things a lot of parents mention a lot of difficulties that parents have is they say that we find that our children run right at home they run around they play around and they're children they have fun with each other they play games and when we tell them to study at home they can't do it because for them the school is a different place and their behavior is different and the home is a different place I think first of all there's a number of issues or advice I would offer in that regard I think first of all it's probably not an ideal element of Tarbia to have our children see that the home has no limits at all and that they can or jump off anything or run around anyway I think that in terms of the Tarbia we need to adjust that to make even though children should definitely have their time to play and enjoy themselves and they should be allowed to make mistakes and we've heard about the Hadith of Anas the prophets I think they used to have a go at him about the things that he did that were not related to the religion but it's also important that we emphasize this etiquette and adab and manners and how about our children in a balance in that way not that when they enter the house we lock the door and say run right and when they go out we tell them you have to be really well-mannered because ultimately what that can do is that actually it actually encourages the children to misbehave around their parents not to respect their parents and so on and then it encourages them that when they go into that school environment they suddenly behave until they get home also one of the things we can do to change this mentality is to make homeschooling something distinct for our children and that's something that I personally do when it comes to homeschooling time it's not like you get up in your sleep clothes and you lounge around it is that you come to school you get ready for school it doesn't have to be a uniform as such although you could adopt an Islamic dress uniform why not if you wanted to if you thought that was beneficial because the uniform is still the identity one could say like you have to wear your Islamic clothing or you have to wear something at least you have to wear some nice clothing and you sit down maybe you transform the room even if you have a small room even if you have one room you put things away toys go away games go away and then what do you do you bring out the desk the table or if they sat on the floor like what they're resting on to write maybe the teacher would sit on a chair or would sit at the front and they would respect that this is a different situation now this is a different environment and that is going to take time parents should not think that that's going to be an instant in one moment my child is just going to switch but helping them to feel a bit more like school having for example a cupboard or some a drawer which is full of school supplies take your textbooks take your your school bags or whatever it might be or your boxes from the cupboard and you take your pens and paper out and you sit down and you prepare for school okay school is finished now you can put your things away you can bring out your toys and your games and you can play that kind of thing can help the children to maintain that little bit of discipline so it is about flexibility that's a major major part of the homeschooling of the benefits of homeschooling is that aspect and also from the major benefits is that we we want to try to encourage that those and those etiquettes and manners that are a part of a part of Islam and here I would like to sort of bring in a point which I believe is really important and that is just because you homeschool your children doesn't mean that your children would never go to quote unquote school of some kind in fact is the opposite I wouldn't recommend that at all if your children have a chance to attend Islamic lectures or your children have the ability to perhaps attend an Islamic events or gatherings or even to attend conferences like workshops that are organized for children there is no harm in this because you as a parent have far greater control you know for example there may be a science and technology workshop where the children are going to get together and they're going to learn about some of the sciences in a practical way and you can go and have a look as a parent and decide if that environment is going to be suitable for your child or whether there's going to be some some harm going on there and if you feel that it's suitable for your child there's no reason why you can't send your child to that for a few hours or something like that there's no reason and definitely as it relates to the Islamic lectures classes مدارس even for example I know parents at homeschool their children and their children go to a تحفيذ مدرس a school for the memorization of the Quran but that is you know that is in that aspect but the rest of their education they receive at home so this is also something which is very beneficial for you as a parent and I wanted just to give you a bit of inspiration because sometimes you might think well from the point of نصيح this is a نصيح session giving you some advice and so on you might feel like well do we have something to back this up so I'm going to quote to you from إمام مالك رحمه الله the great إمام مالك and he said كانت أمي تلبيسوني أثياب وتعمموني he said my mom my mother she used to put my clothes on me and she used to make me wear put my turban on me when I was a small boy وتقول يا بني إأتي مجلس ربيعة فتعلم من سمته وأدبه قبل أن تتعلم من فقه وحديثه she said that go to the gathering of ربيعة and learn from him his behaviour and his manners before you learn from him his فق and his حديث سبحان الله she sent out her son she got him dressed she put on his turban like we said you know this issue of you know the etiquas and discipline she got him ready she sent him out and she said الهجمه ربيعدانه ربيع ابن عبي عبد الرحمن و here I want to respond to a شبر و I'm going to call it a شبر because I believe it's a شبر that people have They say that homeschooling causes your child to be underdeveloped socially و أعتقد أن هذه ... في كل حالة ، هذا أستطيع أنني أتخيل أن أستطيع أن أستخدم برطل إنه مقابل إنه مقابل ، إنه مقابل بالطبع لأن الصالحة الصالحة لن تردد أبوهم لتعلم أداب و لتعلم بحايفية من الغلمان أو الصبيان من صغير وخير يقومون أبوهم لتعلم بحايفية من الغلمان هذا is where the children learn manners from and social skills from من المساعدة من الجلسة المجالية من الغلمان هذا is where they learned it from لأنني لا أرى أنه من لدائم صالحة الصالحة في أي طريق that you think that your children should learn behaviour from children like them اللهم unless it is in within the context of the Islamic gatherings and the Islamic schools so they see the children who are sitting nicely and they learn from them and so on This is possible but this idea that homeschooling deprives your children of social skills This is It doesn't stand up to scrutiny in any way at all And it doesn't stand up to scrutiny either from the point of looking at the children themselves You see children who are homeschooled with the best of manners So this idea that if I don't send my children to school They're not going to get social skills I don't think this stands up to scrutiny There are some areas where there might be There may be need for that social development And this can be solved very simply through two aspects Number one, as we said one area where I've mentioned before A little tricky is group work If you have just one child who you are teaching And they need to do work that is traditionally Or that is the teacher The curriculum instructs it to be done as a group And they're only one person So here very simple To sign up or to register with other homeschooling parents Other home educators And to work together to teach For the children to work in groups With people who are similar to them And likewise When we say homeschooling Who said that this means that there are no social gatherings And this is also a misconception That people have about this That homeschooling means there should be no social gatherings Take our children to as many social gatherings As we would like as parents But we are going to choose those social gatherings Like the mother of Al-Imam Malik Chose the gathering of أبي عبد الرحمن For him to go to To learn That's where I want you to learn your social skills I want you to go there and sit there There will be other children there That you can learn from You can sit from You can make friends with You can talk to There will be adults there as well That you can learn from You go there and you sit But you're going to be in an environment That I think is going to be net positive It's going to bring more of a benefit to you Even if you're just learning Adab Behaviour and mannerisms It's an idea that I think this idea of social deprivation I think it comes primarily First of all A lot of times it comes from the non-Muslims But even if it didn't It comes from a misconception That homeschooling means Your children don't socialise That's not the case It means that you as a parent Have greater control Over and decision making In where and how your children socialise So it could be that we go to the Masjid Or it could be that we go to Another homeschooling forum With children of similar In a similar situation Or it could be that we Socialise within our families And our family structure And this is of course Another major way We're talking about tarbih At the end of the day It's another major way In which children learn From the family gatherings That take place within the family And their relatives Mixing with their relatives And so on Seeing how their parents behave These are all from the means Of developing the children In terms of their social skills So I don't think there is any Evidence or any Delil either in terms of theoretical Or even empirical evidence To suggest that children Who are homeschooled Are socially inept Or socially unable to To manage the world Large In fact the opposite appears to be true That because they learn And feel important behaviour And important etiquettes And because their parents choose For them the best places To learn those etiquettes from Generally speaking They're far more able To mix with people In a positive way To take part in group work And so on And often more confident To do so And that the part of that Is also that we develop These characteristics These achlak within our children In terms of things like Reliance upon Allah And then reliance upon the self The child develops the ability To work by themselves Seeking the help of Allah And working by themselves Independence And all of these things benefit When it comes to going into Like for example the world of work Or it could be a university And they have to Engage with other people Often they're the ones Who have the role of You know leadership And the ones who take The first step forward Because of the confidence They have in their own ability And because their parents Have not restricted them From meeting people For the last 15 years That we've locked the door And never let our children Meet anybody But we'd be more Careful about who they meet And more careful About who they mix with This is the first part Of my advice As it relates to homeschooling Any shot allowed To add that there will be A second part Where we're going to talk about Things like qualifications And how do you navigate The different ways That the child would get A qualification And get recognized And then also talk about The actual day-to-day mechanics Of how to teach the children That different ages This is coming up In the next episode And Allah is with you all His best Wassalaatu was-salaam Ala nabinah Muhammad Wa'ala alaihi was-sahbihi ajma'ih Assalamu alaikum If you're enjoying these videos And you'd like to keep up to date With all of the courses We're going to be running Make sure you head over To amauathome.com


We do testing every day of the week. Weekends, it's kind of short hours, but we do symptomatic testing, we do pre-procedural testing, providing that admin support helping the both of the women stay informed. I'm making a call. I'm working for a very important person. All of them. All of them. Two more, huh? Right. They'll usually get assigned something from the pharmacy to a little med bar. Yeah. I'll take the picture of it. Yeah. Here's mine. That one's a great one. Yeah. It's kind of unfortunate, but this is where a lot of learning gets done. And for those of us who have been here for a while...