The British Empire was at its height at the turn of the 20th century and commanded near universal support domestically. Anti-colonialism as a movement wouldn't gain strength for several decades, while the strongest voices for it, in both Britain and elsewhere, were generally disconnected. Not so says Priya Garapal in her book Insurgent Empire, Anti-colonial Resistance and British Descent. According to her, changing opinion about Britain's colonies at home and far away was far more than simply connected. In fact, it was often mutually constitutive and in dialogue. Priya, welcome to Navarra Media. Thank you, thanks for having me. I always get worried about those introductions saying the complete opposite of what somebody else has written about because then they might get angry. I think that was fine. Good. It was a real pleasure reading this book.  It's 450 pages of extensive, often sort of, you know, the data collection's phenomenal. It must have taken a really long time to compile. It took about six years from, well, five and a half years from start to finish. So, yes, a lot of time. And if you had to explain it to somebody and sort of as an elevator picture of 30 seconds, what would it be? It's a kind of a counter history of empire done through the question of resistance to empire and descent in Britain around the question of empire. So, it's really offering a kind of snapshot of the history of empire, but not from the point of view of agreement and hegemony and consensus, but from the point of view of descent and resistance and opposition to the empire. You start the book off with a few episodes of rebellion effectively. The first is what we call the Indian mutiny, but I think you refer to it a few times as, arguably, India's first war of national liberation. I don't know what the precise words are. No, I don't. I refer to it as having been referred to in India as the first war of independence. In fact, I think that that's an exaggeration and I think that that's probably very retrospective, but it was certainly one of the most significant early uprisings. But your point is it wasn't just purely constitutive of sort of military descent. It was a broader uprising across multiple states, across multiple classes. Can you sort of outline the importance of the Indian mutiny in 1857 and the impact it had on changing attitudes to empire in Britain? So, the most important thing to say about the 1857 uprising, as I would call it, is that it was more than a mutiny. It begins as a sepoy mutiny or a mutiny of foot soldiers in the British Indian Army, but it very quickly spreads into the civilian population and it spreads across large swathes of northern and central India. So, its importance is that it's not just soldierly rebellion as it was presented in Britain, but it actually became something like a white-scale war. And it's important, so I think lies in the fact that it was violent, but it also met with tremendous repression and that with a tremendous counterinsurgency. And it was one of the first major 19th century crises of rule for the British Empire. And as we know, of course, it ended the rule of the East India Company in India and the Crown took over rule and that's the kind of formal inauguration of the British Raj in India. It's important, I think, for dissenters because although there was a great deal of support for the Imperial Administration in India, there was a great deal of condemnation of what was described as the savagery of the rebels. There were also people, most famously, the Chartist Ernest Jones and the positivist Richard Congrief and a few others who actually took the opportunity to offer solidarity to those who were rebelling against the Empire as opposed to throwing their weight behind the Crown, behind the Empire. So I kind of regard it as an early moment of fomenting a degree of dissent in Britain around the question of Empire and you do get people coming out and saying that ordinary British people should identify with the rebelling Indians and not with the Crown and not with the Empire itself. How was that received by the sort of broader British public? The idea that somebody like Ernest Jones could say actually what these people are doing in South Asia is entirely legitimate. Well, what we know, I mean, what we know from the archives is that there were public meetings and there were a broadsheet and pamphlets which were kind of raising the issue of who was doing what in India and for whose benefit the Empire was. People were wrong to suggest that there was widespread dissent in Britain. For me, that moment is important because I think it signals the beginning of a tradition in Britain of dissent around the Empire. So it's not as though Ernest Jones has a huge following, it's not as though Richard Congreve has a huge following, but these are people who are trying to create ideological alternatives and political alternatives in the British public sphere. We know, for instance, that Ernest Jones attended public meetings along with British MPs criticising British rule in India, criticising the actions undertaken during the ferocious insurgency. So for me, the importance is not that it created widespread dissent around the Empire, but that it signals an early moment in a tradition of dissenting around the Empire in Britain. And the reason I think that's important is we're often told, oh, back in the day, everybody thought Empire was in India, back in the day, nobody had a problem with ferocious repression of insurgency. And I'm pointing out that that is simply not true, that for those who were often dissident bent, those who were often critical bent, there were people who were critical of the British Empire and what was being done in the name of British people in India and in other parts of the British Empire. And to what extent did people like Ernest Jones or Congreve try and show lines of continuity between the Indian uprising in 1857 and, for instance, the revolutions of 1848? Obviously, this was a very turbulent, politically volatile moment in Europe as well. Often, as I was reading what you've written, I think, goodness, of course, there's a great deal of kind of shared grievance here, antagonisms, change in media consumption habits and so on, global communications patterns. But I never viewed the Indian mutiny as something which was within a broader context of European uprisings. Was that something that they also tried to articulate? Yes, they did. I mean, as you say, 1848 is an important moment. 1857 is coming really at a time when the Tartist movement is running out of steam. And Ernest Jones is trying to revive the fortunes of dissident working class movements in Britain. And one of the interesting things about how he looks at the Indian uprising is that he looks at it as an inspirational moment. And instead of saying what we often hear people say that, you know, the Indians took inspiration from Britain, he actually reverses the lines of influence. And he kind of tries to, you know, inspire and chide his working class leadership. And look, the Indians are challenging capitalist exploitation. The Indians are challenging the exploitation and unjust taxation on peasants and workers. And we should be learning from them, because let us recall that the same people who are profiting from empire and the same people who are doing the oppression and the bloodshed in India are the same people who are oppressing the working classes in Britain. So he's trying to kind of revive the flagging fortunes. Because by 1857, the radical movements in Europe are on the flagging end. They're kind of running out of steam. They've been co-opted. They've been diffused. The energies are now moving in the direction of kind of liberal individualism and a certain kind of liberal hegemony. And he's trying to use the example of the Indian revolt as a kind of radical resource, a radical alternative, which might inspire people in Britain, you know, rather than the other way around. And speaking of there being an influence of ideas in Europe from, in this instance, India in South Asia, there was a significant influence exerted by Ernest Jones writing on the Indian uprising on Karl Marx and his understanding of colonialism and its relationship to capitalism. Can you briefly explain how that operated? Well, one thing that happens, I mean, there is, I think, some disagreement about the extent to which Marx might have been influenced by Jones. By 1857, Marx and Jones are no longer close. They're no longer friends. That said, the academic theory drapeau has argued that Marx's dispatches on 1857, which were serialized in the New York Tribune, were significantly influenced by Ernest Jones' take on the uprising. I'm not entirely certain that that is the case. What is striking, I think, about Marx's engagement with the uprising, as opposed to Jones. Marx is clearly excited by the possibilities of what is happening in India. He clearly sees it as significant, but he doesn't engage with it with these quite the same sense of the agency of the oppressed in India as Jones does. Jones is extremely clear that what is happening in India is very significant for working class movements in Britain and in Europe, and that it has to have a certain kind of inspirational significance. Marx is a little bit more, I would say, not detached, but he's not necessarily seeing it as having direct implications for working class movements in Europe or in Britain. He is less, I think, engaged with anti-colonialism per se at this moment than he would be later on in his career. That said, we do know that Marx and Engels were both invested in Charterism. They engaged with it. They were reading the people's paper. I think it's a question of speculation. To what extent did Jones in fact influence Marx, but my preliminary sense is that Marx's dispatches on the Indian rebellion are different in tone and tenor from Jones' much more direct and much more enthusiastic engagement. There's a second episode some years after the Indian uprising you talk about which is the Moran Bay rebellion at the centre of that gentleman called George William Gordon. Can you talk a little bit about that rebellion, Mr Gordon himself, what happened to him and the kind of consequence that had politically in Britain? So the 1865 Moran Bay uprising was less than 10 years after the Indian rebellion. The Indian rebellion, let us remember, had traumatic implications for the British public sphere. On the one hand there was the dissidents that I talk about, but there was also a great deal of self-pity, of a sense of empire under attack, a sense of British righteousness in India imperiled. When the Moran Bay rebellion happens in 1865, the British mainstream press is very quick to seize on the resonances between what happens in Moran Bay and what happens in India. But what happens in Moran Bay is of course on a much smaller scale, both geographically and in terms of time. Now this is a very, very different kind of rebellion from what happens in India. The Indian one is still quite inchoate and there are different interests playing and not necessarily all coherent in the Indian scene. In Moran Bay it's a very specific kind of rebellion. What we have are freed slaves. So if you think about emancipation, full emancipation takes place in 1838 and 25 years on, nearly 30 years on, those who are freed slaves and those who are descended from freed slaves find themselves in an economically very shabby and very precarious situation because although they've been emancipated from slavery, they have not been offered any way of really carving out a meaningful freedom for themselves. So in a sense what they're coming to a realization of is that emancipation has been a kind of freedom in name only and you have the planter class continuing of course and also continuing with the help of indentured labor. This is something we don't talk about in Britain very much. When slavery was entered, not only were slave owners compensated, they were given an alternative source of labor from India and China in the form of indentured labor. Freed Black communities were basically left to their own devices. Sorry, were you going to ask a question? Yeah, just for our audience because often they probably hear the term indentured labor so frequently, but can you just briefly explain the difference between indentured labor and slavery? Well indentured labor is technically free labor.  They will return to India or wherever as they choose, but in point of fact the wages are so pitiful and the living conditions are so bad that almost none of them is really able to earn enough money to pay their passage back let alone make make money from the endeavor. So what you have is technically free labor who have come to the Caribbean on their own device, off their own volition as opposed to slaves, but in fact find themselves in conditions which are not significantly economically different from that of slavery. I mean it is very important to stress that these are not slave. They have come there because they've signed documents saying they will come to the Caribbean and work foundations, but their conditions in fact end up being extremely poor which is why we have large communities of Indian and Chinese descent in the Caribbean islands today because they are the descendants of indentured labor who were not able to go back despite having thought that they would come back, make money, pay off their passage and return to their villages in due course. So you just briefly identified there this kind of what was quite explicitly overtly talked about as a continuation of a kind of not slavery but servitude by people in the West Indies from the 1830s through to the 1860s. They quite explicitly say without land they aren't free in a meaningful sense. This then culminates in this rebellion, the Morant Bay Rebellion and it's led by quite a remarkable gentleman isn't it? He's a mixed businessman, politician. Can you explain a little bit about the story of George William Gordon? I only heard him two days ago and I thought we're having this conversation about statues. My god we should have one to George William Gordon. Yes and of course they have statues to him in Jamaica itself. George William Gordon is an interesting figure. I'm not entirely sure that I would describe him as a leader but he was clearly an inspiration to those who rebelled. Now the short version of the rebellion is that these are descendants of freed slaves or freed slaves themselves in some cases demanding that their freedom be made meaningful and that they have the right to form small plots of land where they can be genuinely free and the most important thing I think about the rebellion is that they do not want to work as wage laborers on plantation. It is a kind of early and unambiguous refusal of mercantile capitalism. It is a refusal of work as a condition of freedom. What these rebels want is the right to just basically be self-sufficient to look after their own plots of land to make enough vegetables or products to sell to feed themselves and to make money for their families. They do not want to work for planters and wage labor is a condition that they explicitly compare to slavery which I think is very very interesting. Having undergone slavery they see nothing emancipatory about becoming wage labor. So the rebellion is really about the conditions in which the so-called freed slaves find themselves. George William Gordon is important because he's a kind of in-between figure. He is what was then known as a colored man.  He was educated. He had a white wife and he was a politician and a businessman. So this made him a kind of dangerous figure because on the one hand he wasn't a slave or descended directly from slaves. He was not destitute. He was not poor but he was also educated which meant that he had a voice in the Jamaican legislature that the ordinary rebels, the ordinary black peasantry did not. But what was also interesting about him is that where he might have thrown his lot behind the white owning classes because he belonged to the owning classes he in fact threw his lot behind the black peasantry and he practiced a form of Christianity which was practiced largely by black peasantry and he was very very explicit in throwing his political and cultural allegiances behind the black peasantry. So he became a kind of, I would say a kind of figure around whom organizing took place rather than someone who was necessarily a leader although he did address meetings, although he did help write petitions and he did participate in discussions around how the British crown should be petitioned. So he is a kind of very articulate figure who is not white but also not wholly black and therefore deeply threatening to the white colonial regime in Jamaica. And the consequence of this is that when the rebellion does take place and of course it is brutally crushed like every other rebellion he is arrested even though he was nowhere on scene he is at home he is sick with some kind of flu but he is arrested taken to Moranpe and after a very short and shambolic military trial a court martial he is hanged and his hanging when news reaches England of his hanging it creates enormous unease and it creates a huge controversy that came to be known as the Jamaica affair or the governor air controversy and it resulted in governor air being recalled from Jamaica brought back to England put on trial to a private prosecution because he wasn't prosecuted by the government and so we have the the Jamaica committee which consists of kind of various liberal figures of the day who are very uneasy about Gordon's execution were very uneasy about what happens in Jamaica in the name of the British people and decide that they will make an example of air and that controversy I talk about it in the book as an exemplary moment of the emergence of fault lines around empire those who are incredibly uneasy at what is being done in the name of the British people in the name of the empire yeah the people who are involved in the the Jamaica committee is kind of like a who's who at the time of of British liberalism you've got John Bright who I believe was the MP for Birmingham quite a critical figure in the second reform act you've got Charles Darwin John Stuart Mill Thomas Huxley Thomas Hughes Herbert Spencer I mean these are these are huge names in British public life going to bat from mixed race man who was they view as being illegally executed by by a very senior official I mean most people now if you were to say to the average person in the street this happened in the 1860s they probably wouldn't think that happened was that was that a surprise that such big names took that step was it a kind of break with the cultural status quo because these were people with serious cultural capital like I say going to bat for somebody thousands of miles away that they'd never met yes and it created a great deal of upset within the kind of British establishment because it actually broke friendships so on the one hand you have people like John Stuart Mill and John Bright on the side of Gordon who want to see air prosecuted on the other side you have people like Tinson the poet and Ruskin you know regarded as a great public intellectual who form what is known as the air committee who pay for air to defend himself who are furious with their friends with their liberal friends for going to bat for George Gordon one important thing is that it is not just the British establishment that or one side of the British establishment that is going to bat for Gordon what is really interesting and this is talked about I think a lot less in relation to the controversy in Britain there are working class meetings around what has happened to Gordon and you have different working class groups and newspapers like Reynolds newspaper and the beehive which also organize public meetings which are also attended by kind of liberal MPs radical MPs who also condemn what is happening what has happened in Jamaica in relation to George Gordon and what is interesting to me there is that where the liberals are not explicitly necessarily addressing race the working class meetings explicitly address the question of race and you have at various points and I detail this in the chapter you at various points you have people who are addressing the meeting saying you know the black man and the white working class man are oppressed by the same people and don't think that just because something happened to a black man far away in Jamaica they won't do it to you here just because you're white and I find it really interesting that there is a call a very explicit call to transracial solidarity because working people will be oppressed by the same formation whether in Jamaica or whether in Britain so where the liberals are often talking in very mealy-mouthed constitutional terms working class meetings are much more explicit about talking about oppression about talking about the consequences of letting the owning classes in Britain get away with the murder of of of George Gordon and of the consequences of not saying anything just because it was a man of color who was killed and not a white man and I found and I think that what's what's happening here is that with the with people like John Stuart Mill there is a slow process of trying to contain what happened and trying to address it through constitutional means whereas the working class meetings are as you might expect much more agitational and much more angry about what has happened in Jamaica in the name of of British people British working people yeah a lot of the a lot of the material that you sort of engage with in that part of the book for me it's probably the best part of the book because I was sort of multiple times out loud going wow that's incredible that's you know it's just inspiring and there were again quite explicit statements saying well the fact we have these colonies these possessions overseas isn't good for working people here because it means that you know our wages are effectively depressed which was again a quite remarkable thing to be articulating 150 years ago and Reynolds news I mean you've said that in the case of the sort of responses to the Indian mutiny and so on with the chart is that these weren't huge influences but Reynolds news and in the 1860s 1870s that had a a readership of a couple of hundred thousand I mean this was this was a this was now becoming a serious part of the national conversation wasn't it yes it was I mean I think more so than we give credit for I think quite often the literature that I look at in the book it's the kind of thing that's dismissed by mainstream historians as marginal but I think marginal is what you make marginal and I don't think that newspapers like Reynolds in its heyday the people's paper or even the beehive which is a trades union journal are to be dismissed as negligible I think what has happened is that they've been pushed out of frame of national but they are as you just said they're absolutely part of the national discussion and what it teaches us above all else as you just pointed out is that ideas which we would consider very contemporary have actually been around in the British public sphere for well over a century and and in fact things that we might think now were articulated as early as 1857 yeah particularly relevant in a context of Black Lives Matter and caused a transracial solidarity we're going to fast forward well multiple decades and again this is something which is really not well known in British history the first we would say BAME MP in British Parliament was a gentleman called I hope I don't kill his first name here Sapurji Sacklatt-Vala I knew this the second bit now he was not born in Britain he came here a little bit later in life he was elected as an MP for Bassie North I believe the first time in 1922 gets re-elected in 24 and stays till 29 so a reasonably long parliamentary career for somebody who for most of it was a member of the Communist Party can you sort of talk about this gentleman because a bit like you were talking about with George he had the ability to kind of speak to two audiences simultaneously when he said us he wasn't just referring to the British electorate the people that voted him put him into Westminster but also for people in South Asia yeah Sapurji Sacklatt-Vala is in fact believe it or not the third Indian MP there were two before him one was another by Naorogi who was a liberal and sorry he was the second and the first was Baunagri who was a Tory Sacklatt-Vala was the third he was also the third Parsee MP Yes it is interesting that the early sort of Asian politicians are all Indian Parsees the important thing about Sapurji Sacklatt-Vala is that he comes from a wealthy industrialist family in India but he is himself a poor relation so he didn't grow up with a whole lot of money but he has close connections with the Tata family and the interesting thing is that I believe that the descendants some of the descendants of the Sacklatt-Vala family some of Sapurji Sacklatt-Vala's descendants still work for the Tata so there is a kind of an odd connection to the industrialist family but this is if you like the radical and more less wealthy wing of that family Sacklatt-Vala comes to Britain under circumstances we're not entirely clear about we are led to believe that he might have been a bit too agitational for his family's comfort and so he gets shuffled off to Britain but he was also quite not well so he comes to Britain for medical treatment he meets an English woman he marries her they settle down they have a family he initially gets involved with the independent labour party it's a formation not very many people in Britain know about today but it was an independent formation that eventually merged into the labour party as we currently know it Sacklatt-Vala begins as an independent labour party member he gets increasingly involved in trade union activism and workers groups particularly international you know groups for international workers he then I think joins the communist party in 1919 and stands initially as a labour MP and then of course when labour pushes the communists out he then stands separately as a communist candidate now the thing about Sacklatt-Vala that is interesting is and I talk about him largely in these terms is that he's a kind of interpreter between India and Britain but he is an interpreter of kind of radical movements and he's trying to kind of in his own terms get the British working classes and the Indian working classes to forge common cause and it is quite remarkable to read his interventions in parliament they are they are fiery they are incredibly upfront and frank about the workings of the establishment not just in Britain but also the nationalist movement of India which has a very very strong Indian middle class and industrialist base so he's very critical and this is what makes him an interesting figure he's critical both of British colonialism and aspects of Indian nationalism even though he sees himself in one sense an Indian nationalist so I find his kind of his ability to look in two directions and try to make the two sides to each other particularly interesting and did he provoke a particularly reactionary response Sacklatt-Vala because you know this is a this is an Indian man representing primarily you know white seat yeah but it seems I mean it's kind of again it's one of those remarkable things we just talked about you know the the committee that was responding to the Moran Bay rebellion and so on I mean this seems in many ways even more remarkable you know if you told the average person 100 years ago a person born in India was elected as an MP by on almost universally wirelectric they they simply wouldn't have believed you was there was there any sort of racialized kickback or do we have to actually look to more sort of recent decades to find that there is certainly some racialized kickback we certainly have evidence of kind of racialized comments in parliament coming as you might imagine largely from the Tory benches there's this snide remarks there are thinly veiled racist smears I have seen letters in his papers which are preserved in the British Library which we would compare to you know present day hate mail that MPs black MPs and MPs of color get so it's not entirely absent but equally I think we should as you just said note that it is not true that 100 years ago everybody was okay with racism or that everybody was racist he was as you say elected in a award with significant numbers of white people although it you know you did have he was assisted for instance by Arnold Ward who was a black politician so there were also immigrant communities and communities of color in in battle see but what you do see is evidence that it isn't always the case that there was back in the day unrelenting racism which would have made it impossible for a black or Asian person to be an MP in Britain I don't actually see any evidence that's a club Wallace position was significantly different from what MPs of color today have to deal with which is a mixture of a white voter base and you know predictable hate mail you do not get a picture of unrelenting racism I've seen letters from white constituents which are deeply grateful which regard him as a wonderful constituency MP so again I think the picture you know 100 years ago is as complex and and diverse as we see it today I think as well what really presses the home for me is the fact he was a communist yeah you know again it's just a completely sort of dissenting politics the status quo a person of color and and you know the reaction like you say wasn't that different to what we see today for actually quite vanilla social democratic politicians in many ways you think if somebody with that who was that politically conspicuous was on the scene today as an MP you know if anything I think it perhaps get worse treatment or I'm not familiar with the the correspondence he was receiving I mean one thing of course it is worth noting is that we are talking the 1920s when you know the Bolshevik revolutions still has it's it's still covered in in glory and it still has a kind of very profound effect across different political formations but you also start to see of course the Labour Party's anti-communism kick in very quickly Saklat Mala even when he's serving as an as a as a Labour MP will frequently turn around and make critical comments about his own ventures about about his fellow Labour MPs but you do see that the discussion of working class rights the discussion of revolutionary action the discussion of socialism as an idea actually is in a way less tainted and less easily dismissed and sneered at than it is today it still has in a sense the the glory of the heady days of of 1918 1917 1918 and and that I think Saklat Mala is able to parlay in in good ways at least in the early part of his career I'd like to talk a little bit again moving these are many many decades ahead Labour MPs who really situate themselves in opposition to Britain's continued presence in in Kenya in the 1950s I mean the historic one for me is obviously Barbara Castle can you can you talk a little bit about the responses to what was at the time called the MAM uprising after after really 1950 all the way through to 1960 I think Kenya gets independence from 1963 what was that like because obviously it was a very very bloody uprising it wasn't as bad as as the French and Algeria but you know we know perhaps more than a million people were arbitrarily detained perhaps more than a hundred thousand people died the numbers are very uncertain because it turns out a British colonial office destroyed them in 1963 so for a Labour MP to be championing a cause which was as violent I mean there's no other word for it on both sides obviously the repression was far worse from the British that was a very brave decision to make for a Labour MP in the 1950s wasn't it yes I mean you know what we have in Labour and I think we will recognise this formation in the present day as well you have Labour MPs who situate themselves in a critical side in an oppositional side of the Labour Party and the two names that spring out in relation to Kenya are Barbara Castle as you mentioned and Fenna Brockway. Fenna Brockway like Sakalatvala was a member of the independent Labour Party before it merged into the Labour Party and Brockway is very interesting because he's not a communist he is not really what we might regard as a radical he is he's definitely left of centre he's definitely to the left of the Labour Party's centre now Brockway and Barbara Castle along with a number of dissident MPs in the Labour Party situates themselves as critics of what is going on in Kenya. Brockway had long-term ties with different African leaders he was of course close to Nehru and Gandhi but he was also friends with Nukrumah and Kenyatta and what you start to see in the immediate post-war period is after India gains independence in 1947 Brockway turns his attention to what is happening in East Africa or what becomes present day Kenya and Uganda and Tanzania. In the case of the Mao Mao movement what is important I think when it comes to both Brockway and Castle neither of them will ambitiously throw in their lot with the insurgency they will never say for instance that the Mao Mao are justified or that the Mao Mao were not violent they repeatedly will talk about the brutalities and even use the word savagery in relation to Mao Mao but they will really as a consequence of travel in Kenya Brockway makes two visits to Kenya Castle of course is sent there by the mirror newspaper to investigate what is going on in the British detention camps now while neither of them will ambitiously throw in their lot with the insurgency both are very very clear that the ferocious counterinsurgency that takes place during the emergency years in the early 1950s was unacceptable and that what was being done in Britain's name and using Mao Mao as an excuse was unacceptable and this again strikes me as incredibly brave because even today you will get people are talking about Mao Mao but not really saying very much about both the really deeply oppressive nature of the white settler presence in Kenya the fact that Kenyan rebels across the political spectrum whether they were Mao Mao or whether they consider themselves more moderate very few people will say they had just cause and Brockway does say they have just cause that what is being done in Kenya is unacceptable and what was being done in the name of the counterinsurgency was also unacceptable Barbara Castle is quite amazing she goes there not as an as a parliamentary MP but she goes there as a journalist sent there paid for by the mirror and she undertakes a series of investigative reports which come back and cause controversy back in Britain because she does report on the naked racism and the brutal violence of the counterinsurgency the jailing the torture the detentions the punitive tactics and this then results in the Kenya situation becoming a big source of conflict in parliament and reading those parliamentary debates are really fascinating because you do have the emergence of parliamentary criticism of British imperial rule in Kenya and that is coming at the instigation of people like Brockway Castle and their allies in the labour party with Barbara Castle you have quite clear articulations of of Britain's colonial apparatus in Kenya is similar to that of Nazi Germany I mean she says that those are her those are her words a few decades earlier you have again quite explicit comparisons made by people like George Padmore Padmore CLR James and so on about the kind of apparatus that's being used in Ethiopia by the Italians Britain and its colonies what's then used by the Germans in the Second World War that they basically see these as on a on a on a spectrum you know of of colonial kind of settler violence and white supremacist violence what why have we lost that tradition I mean if you were to go out if you were to go on the television or you know good morning Britain and talk to Piers Morgan and you say well actually you know a parliamentarian quite quite senior one actually at the time quite explicitly drew connections between you know Nazi Germany and our behaviour in Kenya 10 15 years later you'd be shouted down why do you think we've lost sight of that yes I mean you don't have to even look at good morning Britain I think on channel four a few weeks ago someone raised I forget who the speaker was but someone raised the relationship between fascism and colonialism very quickly shot down by the presenter it's not something you can say in in the British public sphere at all today that is of course a consequence of the very successful binary between bad fascists that is Germany and Italy and the good allies whose colonial track record we don't talk about in the 1930s and going into the period in the late 1940s early 90s this is not at all unusual on colonial left people like fennel brockway who edits the new leader which is a kind of independent labour party newspaper are regularly hosting writers like clr james and george padmore and george padmore writes I would say probably 10 articles all talking about the links between fascist techniques in europe and colonial techniques in africa and he's you know and he will meticulously draw out comparisons between detention camps punitive regimes racist laws you know etc etc so actually we do have a moment in Britain in the 30s 40s when these comparisons were not outlandish where in fact thinking about colonialism thinking about fascism not making necessarily a stark binary between the good allies and the bad axis was not taken for granted so when Barbara Castle goes to Kenya and sees what is operative there the comparison with concentration camps i think comes quite naturally to her what are you seeing you're seeing a racialized population put into barbed wire camps in terrible conditions and dying in very large numbers either they're executed or they die of starvation or torture so for her that comparison i think was kind of self-evident in a way that for us now because now we are not engaging with the terrain of history we are now squarely in the terrain of mythology and that mythology insists that we keep this kind of good bad binary going and frankly don't talk about the empire so yeah i mean the kind of fascism and colonialism and the relationship between the two would have been something very very natural for critics of the empire to talk about in the in the 40s to what extent do you think that that could change obviously with the kind of political moment which surrounds black lives matter and to what extent do you think it's possible to begin to articulate the connections between colonialism and fascism and how they're constituted historically through hatred of the other but particularly hatred of sort of the non-european or the non-white and it seems like it could be relatively easy to do because you know i was i was reading a little bit about the sort of the extent the attempted extermination of the herero tribe by by imperial Germany in the early 1900s and again it's it's it's just so obviously a sort of an antecedent kind of technological military political moment to what they then try with the final solution in Europe between 1930 and 1945 that it again it's kind of seems kind of implausible to not draw that connection do you do you think we now have an opportunity to do that and i saw you tweet the other day i think you said i want to leave britain and the book is actually sort of like an incomium to the history of british descent and it's actually quite optimistic in its own way so i found that an interesting point point to make what do you think the chances of of of taking the present political moment and injecting it with that historical knowledge okay well there are two separate questions i mean let me just kind of contextualize my tweet i mean it was a moment of exasperation and i i think no but it for me it's quite uh poignant because my home country uh india does have a fascist regime uh in uh in power people don't see the connections but in fact to anybody who has been studying india for the and indian history for the last 70 years understands quite clearly that we have descendants of explicitly fascist formations in power in india today so if i left britain my choice would be to go back to a place where fascists are in power um so yes that that that tweet raises the question of where would one go in in in the present conjuncture which is grim you know whichever direction you look here do we have an opportunity now in britain yes we have an opportunity and yes i wrote the book as an incomium to a different kind of thought tradition a different kind of access but i'm afraid we're going to need a lot more honesty in public discourse in britain which is deeply dishonest we are going to need much more courage across the political spectrum you engage with the complexities of empire and its relationship to fascism i should say here that i i would you know despite having talked about the connections they are uh nazi germany and the british empire are very very specific historical formations that have their own specific operations uh what was interesting to me about people like james and pat morris that they were fiercely anti fascist they gave no quarter to italy or germany um and they were absolutely behind anti fascist organizing but they nonetheless drew the connections between fascism and some of the operations of the phish empire it isn't like they were giving quarter to fascists by making these comparisons i think today there is perhaps more fear that if we talk about the connections then we're somehow giving fascism a free pass and i would say that no one doesn't give fascism a free pass but nor does one allow imperialism and its descendants a free pass i think that that conversation is being opened up by blm um i'm a bit nervous that we will go back to kind of simplistic uh standpoints uh rather than have the difficult discussion and i do i do think that in in in the 1930s and 40s more difficult discussions were happening certainly in progressive and liberal quarters than we seem to be prepared to have now i hope it's an opportunity i think it's been given to us in a sense uh it's that the the door has been opened but i think we have to grab it and we have to grab it in a sustained way um because we are in it for the long haul if we want to change the conversation this is the final question um to what extent do you think colonialism explains a number of aspects of of contemporary british culture uh one example of this is um you know that i remember the whole shoot to kill argument around terrorism and again that was that was a you know that was a sequence of words used in regards to mama uprising or the malayan emergency shoot to kill um are we immersed in terms of british culture we are really still immersed in the legacy of colonialism here in british yeah yeah there's no there's no doubt about that so even our discussions about policing um when you had uh you know lots of brits and lots of kind of very right on britzing where you can't compare us to america uh the point is well actually we can not only because uh you know there are uh there are policing uh there's police violence here in britain in the present day because policing and counterinsurgency as we know it and of course the two things are completely wrapped up in the colonial context policing was counterinsurgency counterinsurgency was policing our british policing is deeply tied up with colonial policing and until we kind of reckon with that legacy in which it is in fact perfectly normal to profile uh black people and brown people and muslims and you know muslims or you know whatever religion uh might might be targeted in in a particular colony um you know profiling surveillance uh shoot to kill detention uh you know versions of torture or physical uh uh you know um violence these are all coming to us very directly from the colonial context and until we engage with that legacy uh there is probably not going to be much uh radical change even with multiculturalism you you raise this in the book you know the idea that you negotiate community relations with particular elevated individuals who are representative of obviously much larger heterogeneous heterogeneous bodies uh you know that's how blair and new labor did you know multicultural um sort of formation social sort of the building of social bonds again that comes out of sort of colonial era as well doesn't it it absolutely does i mean i do think that you know uh one would want to in one sense defend multiculturalism from the right-wing attack of it but on the other hand it is also true that multiculturalism has become a bit of simplistic affair where you appoint chiefs um and then you rush off and you talk to the chiefs uh about you know what a community wants i mean one example of this is that when it comes to dealing with British Indians specifically British Hindus uh successive British governments blair as well as the Tories today engage with the most retrograde uh most uh let us say um hardline Hindu leaders who for instance have stopped caste legislation from coming to the table in on in parliament and what do they say they say well if you allow caste legislation against caste equality to come to the table then you will be hurting the sentiments of British Hindus uh and what that means is that you know power within the communities so for instance caste power within which is very ferocious very powerful within British Indian communities uh that just gets pushed out of the frame because it's been decided that uh these retrograde leaders can speak for the communities and i think we have to be very attentive to that uh when we talk about uh you know colonialism and decolonisation Priya those are fantastic interview i enjoyed your book very much um it's out in all good book shops now they're open again i mean i probably would suggest people buy it on the Verso website that's pretty the best place right that's probably yes yes and no not amazon definitely not definitely not okay thanks for joining us thank you bye


Surprise, I'm back. It's been a while, and I apologize. But I thought, we probably have seen enough of Paul's face for a while, so I thought I'd just swoop in and do a video of my own for a change. So here I am. And I thought I'd show you simple HTTP2 server. It's a tool that I've written a long time ago for a Udacity course I did about HTTP and HTTP2. I should probably put the link down here, or in the description, you'll probably find a link to the Udacity course there. And it's a tool that you just download and start, and it serves the current directory over HTTP2. So it's very similar to Python's simple HTTP2 server, to Python's simple HTTP server, but my server does HTTP2. And it needed a new tool because HTTP2 by design is always encrypted and always needs a TLS certificate. And because generating these certificates is really annoying and really time consuming, I just build it straight into the tool. So it does it right away for you, and you just start it, and it spins up, and there you go with the HTTP2. And I wrote it in Go because Go was very early with support on HTTP2 and because I just love Go. But back when I wrote it, they didn't have support for push. And that was one of the big things that I wanted to play around with. So what I did is I basically grabbed the code from the Senate library, put it in my project, and monkey patched support for push in there. But now just a few weeks ago, Go 1.8 came out. And while there's loads of improvements there in terms of performance and garbage collection, but also they now have native support for push.  And I used the opportunity when I was working on the tool anyway to basically do a whole refactor to just split the code up. It was really messy, really grown, and make nice little files and modules, and make it more accessible for all of you out there who may want to contribute to this tool because you want a feature or something. So now the code is hopefully much more modular and much more readable. And I thought I'd just dive in and explain a little bit on how it now works. So before I had a so-called push manifest, and this push manifest was just a way for you to define which resources are supposed to be pushed when a certain request comes in. And Eric Bidelman and I kind of came up with that. And we kind of wanted to make an industry standard. But it turns out that most people already had a solution, and those were HTTP link headers. So now I kind of threw away this manifest idea and went back to basically allowing you to specify headers, because that's something that people wanted to have anyway, because sometimes you want to experiment with caching headers, or you need to set custom headers for whatever reason, when you do server work, for example. So I added that and sketched up a little config because sometimes you wanted to do single-page applications where you need to do rewrites. And I sketched out a config. And in the end, I kind of realized what I had was pretty much the same as Firebase has on their static hosting. So I decided to basically just adopt the entire Firebase config, which is pretty cool, because while Firebase does have a tool to allow your offline development for the static hosting, they don't support HTTP2 or push. And so with simple HTTP2 server, you can kind of do that now. I mean, it's not 100% high fidelity the implementation that I wrote, but so far, it's worked with every project that I have on Firebase. And I thought that's pretty cool. So yeah, after that, I basically just got implementing, and that's what I want to kind of talk about. So if you want to start by getting the code, you would have to go on to GitHub. It is in the Google Chrome org in the wrapper called Simple HTTP Server, who would have thought. And the read me has, hopefully, all the information you need, how to get it, how to install it, but also, obviously, it has the code. And so the entry point to the code, the main function, literally the main function, is in Simple HTTP2 server.go. And it's, in a way, straightforward. It's just a lot of manual config because I'm doing some tricky stuff, which I'm going to explain later. But I do flag parsing, set up the server, and then I have one function which is going to be called for every request that comes in. And this function gets pretty similar to Express, actually, gets a response object where you put in your response and your headers in the response, and the request object that has all the request data. And I basically wrote a function called process with config that takes both these objects and just mangles them according to the config. So if the request matches a rewrite rule, it will just rewrite the request. If the request matches a header rule, it will add these headers to the response, and then just returns. And what you get back is you figure out if you have to redirect it because then you stop, or otherwise, you will push the resources if there's any link headers. Or you will grab the files from the file system that you need and just push them out to the client. And I have one bit. I used the Gzip implementation from the New York Times. They have a Go implementation for Gzip, not for Gzip, but for an HTTP-compatible version of Gzip, where as long as I'm sure that the contents of the file are text-based, I'm going to run it through Gzip. And I think a lot of local development tools are missing out on this feature, because in production, you almost always want to have Gzip enabled, especially for CSS, because there's so much wins if you enable Gzip for CSS. And in local development, you kind of miss out on these gains, and so you might spend time optimizing things that don't need optimizing. So with simple, if you serve, you always have Gzip enabled for local development, which I think is pretty important. And if it is Gzip, then I just put it up the files. And that's basically the whole request-response cycle. So I've been mentioning push, but I said I removed the push manifest. So how does it work now? So most CDNs use a link header, the HTTP link header. And if it has a rel equals preload, the CDNs like Cloudflare or Akamai will turn this header into an additional push. So if you look into the readmate further down, you will have an example with a header down here where I say the key is link. So I'm specifying a link header. And the value is the file that I want to push in angle brackets. And then I say rel preload, because only rel preload will be pushed. There's also prefetch, which will actually make the browser download and parse the entire file. So preload is a little different. And usually, it's also a good idea to specify what this file is, if it's an image or a script, because the browser might prioritize how much bandwidth to allocate to that push. But that's soft that this tool allows you to play around with an experiment. So this is now how you do pushes. And another thing I want to touch on which I thought was, I felt a little bit smart after doing it, but then it turns out a lot of people do that already. But still, I totally thought I came up with it, is the hijack HTTP listener that I wrote. If you look into the hpbsdetect.go, what I'm doing here is, for web server, usually you open a listener on like port 8080 or some port that listens for incoming connections, and then it gives a connection. And usually, that connection is handed to the web server. And the web server reads from the connection, does the HTTP protocol parsing, all that kind of shenanigans, and sends back a response via that connection. This hijack listener basically is a wedge in between the web server and the listener. Because the problem is that if you bind an HTTPS web server, which HTTP2 practically is, to port 8080, and you type localhost colon 8080 in your browser, the browser will attempt to connect using HTTP plain text. And it's just going to fail, because the browser sends a plain text request, but the server is trying to do a TL as handshake, and it's just going to fail miserably, and it's going to close the connection. So what I'm doing here, basically, is I'm taking the connection before it gets to the server implementation, and checking if the first byte on the connection is the number 22. It's a check I'm doing right here. If it's the number 22, I can be really sure that it is an HTTPS connection, because the first byte of the TL as handshake is byte 22. So if that happens, then I say, I'm fine. Continue. Go to the web server. If it's not, however, I have basically just ignore whatever the server is that the client is sending me and just dump a redirect response to the browser. So the browser knows, oh, I have to reconnect via HTTPS, and now it will be an encrypted connection. So now, even if you forget to type an HTTPS, it will redirect you, and you won't even notice. So it always works, which I thought is super helpful, because I didn't have that before, and it was super annoying. So this is a really neat little trick that I found, and I thought it was kind of cool. I guess we could talk a little bit about the Firebase config. Basically, in Go, you usually take any kind of JSON file by defining a struct, and that's what I did here. So I just wrote down what the JSON looks like as a struct, and the Go JSON parser just will fill in the fields for me. So it's super easy in Go to read JSON files. And then I just take, as I said, with a process function, take, response, and request, and go through all these rules and do whenever I find something that matches this request. The only problem here is that Firebase shows not an art format, but the way you define patterns to limit rules to only to certain requests, they use globbing. So I expect reg access, usually, but they use globbing. And globbing is what you usually use on shells. So if you type something like star.js, it means every file that ends in .js. You probably have encountered this. And these are extended globs, which add a few more capabilities to this so-called globbing. So while star only matches files on the current directory, star star means all the files in this directory and all other directories below this. You have a syntax to group multiple file endings. But the problem is that this is kind of a very note specific syntax, and there is no package for it and go. So I had no choice but to write my own. And I thought, I'm not going to explain how it works. But what I'm doing is I'm taking the glob string and using simple string replace functions to turn the glob into a rex. And I'm going to leave it as, let's call it an exercise for the reader to read this code and understand it and explain why there is a pig emoji in the middle. So enjoy that. But basically what it allows me to do is to compile these extended globs and turn it into rexes. And then I can use the old rex matching functions to see if a request should be mangled with this rule or not. So I thought, that's kind of like in need little detail. And something I want to touch on in the end is that in the repo, you find all the instructions on how to install it on your system.  If you don't have go installed, you can find binaries in the release section, which I link to here. So you just click there. And you'll see for every release, I upload binaries for macOS, Linux, and Windows. So whatever system you're on, you should be fine. I also have Linux on binary. So you can use it on your Raspberry Pi if you are into that. I have it running at home on my Raspberry Pi, which is kind of cool. I also added a brew formula, which makes it really easy if you're on macOS to just tap into the brew keg. I think they call it. And install it by that and keep up to date, because automatically updates with brew. And also recently, I added a Docker file, which I thought was pretty neat, because you don't need to have anything installed on your system except Docker and can serve the current directory via simple HTTP2 using the Docker image. And then if you wanted to, you could even push the Docker image to Google Cloud Platform and share it with a colleague. However, I just want to mention simple HTTP2 server is not a production-ready web server. It's meant for local development. So I didn't do any profiling performance optimizations. I didn't even think about security. I think by default, it's completely course-enabled. So it just opens up everything to the world. Don't use it in production. It's for local development. But if you want to fix something up, then I feel much more comfortable now inviting you into this repo, because now the code is actually more approachable. So if you want to do that, feel free to go to the repo. I'll put links to all of this in the description. So you can just click and go there, maybe start. That would be nice. Also, if you like this video and want more of those, you should probably subscribe, because then you'll get notified about new videos. And I think that's it for this video. And it hurts me to say, but I guess the next video is going to be Paul again. Well, stick around if you want to see that. See you next time.


miss movie tie-in games. Spider-Man used to have so many of these. Spider-Man 1, Spider-Man 2, Spider-Man 3, the amazing Spider-Man 1 and 2. While not all certainly phenomenal, I've still spent hours of time in these games as a Spider-Man fan and I really enjoy each and every single one of them and owe a huge part of my childhood to them. Okay I didn't actually play this one. Part of me really misses getting a new video game to coincide with the release of a new movie. I mean could you imagine Spider-Man into the Spider-Verse the video game? Okay well maybe don't name it that because it's long as sh...  If you ask me there's a couple ways you could do it. They could go the route that any of the old Raimi games did by basically emulating some of the main beats from the movie while also adding completely new parts of the game with old characters that we've never seen in this universe before. Spider-Man 1 the game covers almost all of the Spider-Man and Green Goblin subplot and even adds more into it by having you stop traps set up by the goblin to save the city. It also adds new villains that we've never seen in the Raimi universe before. You fight vulture in this massive scaling clock tower. You fight the scorpion in this underground parking garage. You could even fight shocker in the subway. Even the Xbox version of this game got an exclusive level where you're hunted by Craven.  Fucking. X-Cocks. Spider-Man 2 and 3 would take a similar approach. Pretty much adapting some of the story while also adding new characters that we've never seen before into these games. A spider-verse tie-in game could totally go that route. If I was in charge I would make it so that you start the game as a maxed out Spider-Man. Then just like in the movie you go into the collider and find Miles Morales who was bitten by a spider earlier that day which of course he tells you through the origin story retelling format that the end of the spider-verse movies are known for but of course just from Miles's perspective and what he's been through in the past 24 hours.  From there you could just pretty much run through an entire version of the spider-verse movie just split up into different levels so it feels like a video game. Of course you could always add some open world sections where you can do a bunch of other things like all the other Spider-Man tie-in games have done but I could totally see into the spider-verse just straight up being copy and pasted into a video game. I think this would be an idea that could actually work if money was put into it you know corporations don't like fun they like money. You don't even have to do the first movie either. You could totally take the Tasm games route with across the spider-verse. In the Tasm 1 game it acts as a complete continuation of the plot of Tasm 1. In fact there are even returning characters from the previous movie that even show up. You've got the lizard who even fights with you during certain levels.  I actually have a really deep fascination in this game. The aesthetic of Tasm 1 was something that I felt was really abandoned when it came to the sequel but when you go back and look at this movie tie-in game it really feels like a time capsule. Something that sort of captured a lot of the major elements of Tasm 1 before they were thrown out in Tasm 2 and honestly going through that little treasure trove of a video game sounds like an interesting idea to me. Who knows I may do a retrospective. I don't know. Guys guys I keep look let's be real I can't do a retrospective series covering Spider-Man games. I can't. You know who is I you know who I'm talking about he already did it he already did it okay and we can be original in our own ways. I'm not a rip-off I swear. Tasm 2 the video game kind of takes a similar route that the reigning movie games did and where it's sort of just really loosely bases the plot of the movie on its storyline. Gwen doesn't actually even show up in the game not even once. She's only mentioned in text boxes and nothing else but it's weird because you're also witnessing Harry Osborn become the Green Goblin. What? Okay but it also adds Craven and Carnage. No Venom though no no Venom he's not here for some reason I don't it's just Carnage and you could totally take a similar route that the Tasm games did with and across the Spider-Verse video game. If across the Spider-Verse took this path I'd really like to see it do some sort of rise the ranks kind of thing kind of like Psychonauts. It's this video game where you level up and gain more experience within this society of people who do things sort of similar to how you do. I could totally imagine this being put into a video game where the setting is a society filled with spider-powered super heroes who all live similar lives. You'd spend the whole game sparring with other spider people maybe even recruiting them to come along with you on these adventures into other dimensions where you stop anomalies but the whole time you play as Gwen. To me that makes the most sense because Miles would be a fitting candidate for the main character this game but if we really want to focus on the spider society part of it Miles doesn't really come into play with the spider society until like way later on in the plot line. It makes much more sense to make Gwen the main character of this game so that Gwen can be the one who rises throughout the ranks just like she does in the movie. And I think this would be one of those movie tie-in games that could sort of fill in the gaps in the story's plot line. You could sort of imagine what Gwen was doing when she wasn't trying to get into contact with Miles back on his home universe.  I'd love to see a game that sort of just lets you explore around all these different versions of New York of course in small settings because making all those different versions of New York would be insane but I still think it'd be fun to interact with these semi-linear New Yorkish levels fighting you know outlandish versions of Spider-Man villains with the Spider-Man people you already know and love and eventually as you play the game you start to discover how important Miles Morales really is to the origins of all these anomalies you've been fighting eventually leading to the plot of Across the Spider Boots.  Movie tie-in games really just don't get made anymore. I feel like Spider-Man was one of the lucky ones who got movie tie-in games up until 2014. I don't know when movie tie-in games died but I feel like they died way way way before 2014. I just think it really stinks that this phenomenon couldn't continue on with the Spider-Man movies. The idea of a movie tie-in game coming out that completely captures the soul of the movie you just watched to coincide with that release.  If you watch Spider-Man 2, guess what motherfucker? I have it on the GameCube at home.  If you want more Spider-Man 1, I mean this with the utmost sincerity. Go play the video game. If you really wanted more Spider-Man 2, I swear to God I cannot recommend this to you enough. Go emulate the video game. You like Tasm 1?  Go play the video game. You like Tasm 2? You like Spider-Man 3?  Every single one of these games for better or for worse has the soul of the movie it was based off of running inside of it and that's just a really magical thing.  Okay confession time?  You know what I would do? I would get Spider-Man PS4 open and then I would play through the whole campaign while only using the MCU suits to make it like oh this is just Tom Holland I'm just it's Tom Holland guys it doesn't sound like Yuri Lowenthal.


I'm back.  We are still undergoing Things with the house our bathroom is not done It is not done with that being said what I have been doing Since I've been on break. I've actually been a recording I just didn't want to feel obligated to release stuff because again We have things going on the house family work, etc So I have enough footage to where I can release stuff for the entire month of April and not Technically have to be rushing to get any content out for you guys So I'm officially back for now And the footage that you're gonna see in this particular video is from all of March I wanted to show you guys what's been going on now our tub is supposed to be here this Friday, which is the 29th They should resume construction for the first week of April So by the time you guys get used to seeing some videos I should start picking up vlogging again like every two weeks and then again It will be every weekly like I used to be so yes.  It is thick And miss Earlette was right. She said that I should be back at my land By the end of May or so. She's absolutely right. My hair is getting long and I'm loving the health Health over and left. I've always said that I have so many great ideas so many collab ideas coming up I'm really excited to be coming back. I needed the rest I Have some exciting news that I kind of want to share but I'm not sure girl. I'll go ahead and share I wrote a book. I wrote a children's book I already always had these ideas for writing children's book and I wrote this book in 30 minutes or less And I feel like if something comes that easy to you and it's something you'd like to do it may be your calling and so I read the book to JB. He loved it because it's that age bracket. Okay, I read the book to my husband My husband is very hard to please girl Unless I'm talking I shouldn't say that but he's someone who isn't easily Impressed so I read the book to him yesterday and he was like that's really that's ready to go to a publisher That's what he's serious. He's like, yeah, that's that's a really good book. It's short get straight to the point He's like you really need to look into finding an illustrator, etc So that is a project I'm working on I have a couple of friends who are actually published authors and all types of genres and so I'm really excited about that. I just want to take my time I'm I'm I'm a little afraid because it took me all this time to write the book I've had the idea for almost a year and like I said, it took me only 30 minutes to actually write it So I'm going to rewrite it this weekend type it up and then reach out to a friend for advice on Forming an illustrator whether or not I want to approach a publishing company or self-publish Which I probably will I don't know. Yeah, I don't know getting to children's books is Yeah, I've done a lot of research in it and it's it's very intimidating for me because it's a new atmosphere So y'all pray for me in that to where I can really step fear And just do it. You only have one life, right? That is something I want to encourage you guys You only have one life tomorrow is not guaranteed I mean I've heard I've heard so many people who have suddenly died and people who've had near-death experiences And there's gonna be plenty of more people who are gonna die this year But the fact of the matter is is that we only have one life Is there's anything that you want to do in this life? Do it go out on a limb and do it don't allow fear or your circumstances to hold you back and change your attitude I Another testimony many many testimony those you've been following me for a while I've been wanting to get a promotion at my job And I've seen people left and right get promoted who quite frankly at the time I didn't feel like not necessarily that they didn't deserve it But it was a almost self pity why me I've been here for six year I am this me the subject matter expert these people are coming to me.  I have to change my attitude and my mindset about I can't be worried about why the hell they got it promoted as opposed to me Let me up my game do what I need to do So my manager and director approached me a couple of weeks ago two weeks now and basically said You've been nominated for a promotion, which is so hard to get nowadays With my company it literally the entire department You have to compete for a promotion and only three people my department has about My department has about a hundred people. It's so three to four people a year is promoted and I've been nominated I think I'm gonna get it Christine because I'm gonna get it Christine's my friend and co-worker So I am already thanking God for this promotion But I guess my point is is that I had to change for that blessing to come down, okay?  I think it's a whisper sometimes a guidance that you know Why why should I give you this when you're not even doing you didn't even given a hundred percent of your job Yeah, you worried about what other people are doing Give a hundred percent and maybe it's so once I started to change my attitude Honestly, I didn't even think it would come this fast, but it's always on God time and it God's time And it's the perfect timing. Okay, so I'm saying it's gonna come. So anyway, I'm claiming it I'm still changing my attitude and even if I don't get it. I still will have an attitude of Thanksgiving So that's something that's I'm gonna encourage you guys. So I hope you guys enjoyed this vlog It is real life girl.  I'm gonna be upset, but then we're gonna simmer down towards the end So thank you guys for your patience. I should have another vlog here And a couple of more weeks bear with me y'all It is stressful and there's a lot going on and when people coming in and out of your house all those spirits So like I said, I will be back. There will be hair related videos in between yours. So thank you guys again Take care. So this is what the bathroom looks like now. Now. We had our countertops redone New sinks and stuff done last year, you know When you have a house, especially when it gets into 10 years and over you have to do things to keep that house up One of the other things that I definitely want to do with this bathroom Is to do a trim the bathrooms in general to do a trim and change out the actual these are so old You know change these out. Okay, whatever the shower is old. This is dated and yeah We're getting new shower head and everything is going to be redone So I'm going to buy some decorative towels to go here and I'm thinking about switching out the rugs I don't know if I want to do that or not because the bed The bedroom is green. Okay, the bedroom is green for now because I do switch it out y'all You have to excuse you see here anything. I did not clean. Okay first. I'm actually came coming on showing you guys So, yeah, my hair is in twist This is how I've been wearing my hair the house is being painted and we wanted to get this done though first And then get it painted but my husband is like you may want to see because by the way, I also did hire a house player because you guys It's about to be the Springtime and JV. It's already sneezing. I am sneezing We have hardwood floors and porcelain floors, which are very hard to clean I'm gonna be honest. I probably have time to clean the hardwood floors once a month and that is not enough It's just not so I didn't hire someone.   I'm about to tell y'all the stuff that's been going on around the house. I Am so frustrated.   We're gonna get into that He wouldn't go ahead and get a new shower, but while he's while we in it. We last we'll get a new whirlpool at the time I was like Hmm, okay, but you know the priority is still painting so But now he he decided that now we need to go ahead and get a new shower whirlpool And then we'll paint the house because you want to do the painting afterwards once everything's it put it I support my husband And I'm like, okay, whatever. We'll go ahead and get it done He went ahead. We talked to you talked it over. We purchased towel. We purchased a whirlpool jacuzzi tub I know my hair looks crazy y'all He he found a guy Ran everything by the guy and he was like cool. That's that's what you need. That's what you got great Monday they come by they were scheduled to be here at 10 o'clock. They show up at 11 30 They do demolition. Let me show y'all what that looks like now This is what the bathroom was so polite so they took out This shower and they took out The tub all right So you see this face. Okay, you see the space right you see this right here This is technically where this shower is gonna go now They can they can tear out this towel Sorry the tub and it could go out this way you see this wood panel right here You can take that out if you don't have enough room, but you see the space right here to you see come around.  He goes to work at one This is 12 30. He's like take your time. They didn't even show up. I said, excuse me.   So, you know, you can my wife is here. So like cool. Yeah The guy comes over he's looking at it, right? He's looking at he's like, okay So what do you want to explain to him what we're looking for? Right, so then he's like, okay. So what type of towel you have? I'm like, well, we have you know the towel that so and so told us to get he's like, okay Do you have shower towel? I'm like No, we have this towel that I'm assuming you can use for the shower floor Excuse me in the shower floor towel He's like, no, you have to have shower floor towel 12 by 12 to put on the floor You can't use the towel on that you have certain towel you can but the towel we got is long Okay, you can't use that towel for the floor. I Called the manager and I'm like, um We don't have shower towel.  No worry. Did he say this? I said, okay That's fine. So that night we looked around to figure out what we wanted and the next morning I was like, okay, I'm just gonna go at this point.  No, they didn't and I'm on my way to work. It's one o'clock now He's like, okay, I'm having to contact you One o'clock one thirty the guy finally text message me. I'm on my way. I'll be there by two Two o'clock two thirty get a text message. I'm not to come in the morning Which is now to this morning this morning. I'm like Who sigh? Helpful you got a wolf side this one cuz I'm like this this is utter foolery This morning they come the plumbers are here. They are early. They're right on time Yeah, they're they're here like 805 that's on time. That's good. That's cool The p.m. Says I'm on my way. This is what this was at eight 815 or so. I'm on my way. I'll be there shortly 930 he comes y'all 930 he gets here. He gets here at 930 The plumber is looking at this area.  Let me back up cuz I didn't let me back up some more while the Project manager excuse me was here the first time he came. I said can you come look at this whirlpool because I don't think it's gonna fit here I'm looking at it and I'm sure y'all the whirlpool looks like now I said, I don't think it's gonna fit here So he's looking at it. He's like, well, let's go measure you want you want me to measure to make you feel better I see y'all measuring and make me feel better because it's all about my feelings, right? So he measures it 42 inches come over here measure it. He said it'll fit. It'll be a tight fit But it'll fit. I'm like, okay, cool plumbers come this morning. He's looking at it Francis go. It's like that thing in whirlpool is not gonna fit over here. Excuse me y'all either is not gonna fit I'm like Am I husband is here at this point? So this this this could have been a I told you so a moment, but miss Jackson's not like that I'm not gonna do that because this is frustrating right whirlpool doesn't fit So we're like, okay, um We need to get another whirlpool then we need to get a pull He's like, yeah, so I will take this I can I can take it to the home depot for you guys to return it I'll need someone to bring a card or something. Oh, yeah Can y'all see me because I don't have my clothes on sorry So I say I'll come with you good with the debit card and all then let me see my husband like this debit card Just in case he comes So it looks like the whirlpool isn't gonna work. So I'll take it back.  It's one of those three wall showers really big I didn't see the picture till yesterday when my husband said it sent it to me Okay, and so the guy's like that's not gonna be able to fit That that what you order is not gonna be able to fit in this area He's like who ordered this my husband said I did he's like who approved.  I Had to walk back in here and get out because so at this point They're telling us the whirlpool won't work The shower won't work. We have to get some additional towel The only good thing about it I Will say is that since the shower excuse me the whirlpool was more expensive than what we have to get So we're gonna save like a hundred dollars, but the custom glass is gonna be an additional $600 700 the towel was an additional I paid like 180 for it. Hmm I am over it. So when I snapped at the guy the pink the project manager I snapped because I told him I said, you know what we have done multiple projects in the house And I would have to honestly say this has been the worst.  There's no no no communication going on between you and Travis. That's his name on a drop Travis there's no communication between you and Travis apparently and It's not right. So the guy would agree with me. He's like, yeah, this happens a lot. I said, you know what? You may not want to tell that to a client where the work still needs to be done.  So let me show y'all the whirlpool.  So you see this Come here. Let me move this out the way. Do you see this? Do y'all see it? All right. So do y'all see this? Now you saw the area that I showed you, right?  This big-ass tub. The man who proved it, right? Right? This is the towel that we picked out to go on the wall and This is the stone that I picked out to go on the shower floor and I asked him if he could do a border and he said yeah, y'all Hey, you guys it is May I don't know girl Google supposed to be paying me today. So it's a 21st I'm just gonna come on cuz there's some stuff going on this week. So might as well fill y'all in Those people talking a lot of selling in my window Did you hear those people JB? JB is home with me because yesterday I gotta start. I'm so sorry baby yesterday I thought he was oh, that's my neighbor Joan I thought he was pretending to be sick cuz he didn't want to go to school. So yesterday He's like in the morning. He's basically like My throat hurts. I'm like, okay, let's go gurgle gurgle with some salt water And then he says something like I don't want to go to school. I don't feel good I'm like nice try JB. What you going to school? So I told him I said the only way that you're not going to go to school is when you have a fever 15 minutes later He's like, can you check to see if I have a temperature? I'm like child you going to school. So he's acting like it's normal self, you know And I take him to school when I pick him up. He was real quiet. I'm like, oh, what's going on?  JB was very tired today and sleepy Sad face and I took his temperature and sure enough he had a temperature of 101 poor things So I gave him some medicine. He immediately fell asleep when he got home. He woke up eight With the bed and slept a long time. So took his temperature Yeah, you got on blue that that's the chart the color chart So he got on blue, but he said he was falling asleep sitting down and the teacher made him stand. Oh My god, they have a third grade teacher helping them and she's a little strict the other one I really like a lot But anyway, you know, that's not my mind things. So, you know case in point.  We got a new treadmill. Thank god. We got a new treadmill my husband purchased a new treadmill We're gonna have someone coming over today to put it together, which is why I'm out early Today was supposed to be a half day for JB. Tomorrow is definitely half day He's gonna go tomorrow if he's feeling good tomorrow's a half day And at this point during the springtime in early summer, I am busy doing family Was sick um Last time for like Like oh for a long good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Everyone. It's friday. It's friday And I'm ready to swing So, yeah, I know I'm rambling. It's friday kind of got some work to do this morning, but y'all One of my goals is to really Be careful with the amount of money I spend Um, and I'm kind of debating more than I should do this I already spent 40 dollars this morning on amazon, but it was stuff. I needed I bought a ipod case ipad case ipod an ipad case for my um ipad that's coming in today And I got some sweet almond oil Some erasable pants and some washi. Okay. Yeah, those two things I didn't need but I try to stick a budget like I Kind of want to go to hobby lobby. I think hobby lobby is having a 40% off sale on their paper studio items hobby lobby is a good 20 minutes away for the next I think I said a week we're gonna be fat for the next two weeks because I have been working out y'all I'm going to the gym twice this week and today later on I will run My goal is to I downloaded the couch to 5k app on my phone and I'm going to be using that to run I'm also going to be doing hit on the treadmill. I know I'm going back in between when I'm you know, this conversation Um, but yeah, that's my goal is to do hit on the treadmill And also you have to incorporate weights. I don't see how people don't understand And I've come to realization that you just cannot go and do cardio alone to try to lose weight You have to incorporate Some type of weight resistance or strength training. I should say um Yeah, I have 12 pounds to lose before I hit my goal y'all my mini goal so I spent 44 dollars this morning like I said, and so my budget for hobby lobby is 25 I'm going to try not to go over 100 dollars today you guys and that's going to be it for a while And you know what after today? I want to cut it up But what if I need it for emergency? Maybe I should freeze it. Have you heard of that people? People I've said that people actually put in the credit card in a bag pouring water over and freezing it girl That's just too much downward.  Um, yeah, I know I'm doing the absolute most What I want to give y'all a heads up on I know this is super early girl My mama is having her 60th birthday party next February when I tell you I am so excited She's a planner like me. I this is where I get it from. She's already planning her birthday quite a girl And when I tell y'all my family they do get together like this They will have when someone has a big birthday and when I come from a large family Which is why I didn't want a lot of kids girl. My mama's the youngest of 13.  I'm not even exaggerating on one family First cousins.   He scared me There's easily close to 300 cousins Like seriously, there's first second third fourth cousins at least 300 cousins. Hey, baby Hi sweetheart How do you feel? How you feel, baby You could be home with mommy today, okay?  I mean he got up. He got up pretty late for him He was up by 6 30 y'all saw him and he started acting bad Acting crazy.  So I got him together.  I'm like, it's half a day. It's half a day. You'll be done in four hours. I don't want to go to school I want to stay here with you. I'm like the devil has a lot. So y'all he is so spoiled I know it's it's our own fault. My husband and I both spoiled especially my husband. My husband is worse than I am We both argue who's worse, but I think we're equally as bad. Um I ended up ordering him a toy.  I know y'all. I know I know but jb's a good child.  I'm like, I'm not doing that Not doing that. So right now with the gasoline station ain't pumping no gas. Um Child I caught my best friend this morning. She said she'll call me because she's getting her hair cut I got my best friend this morning to try to get someone to help me With my spending problem. Y'all I've been spending so much money like just this morning alone. I spent a hundred dollars online shopping I'm here at the gasoline station. I'm gonna take my time What time is it? I'll probably go to the dollar tree. I'll take y'all with me. I'll probably go to the dollar tree I literally I shopped so much that people know me at these places like the lady at the dollar tree know Like the two ladies at the dollar tree. They know me They know me by first name Like little places around here They know me by my first name because I go into these places on a weekly basis and I spend money it So anyway, so the point is I caught my best friend Love y'all know who she is you you seen videos with her So I'm like, I think I have a problem. I'm like spending money. I've already spent a hundred dollars today. She's like that's all I'm like, yeah, but that's money.  I said no my point is is that I've been trying to work on savings and I just feel like it's not helping Look where I went at early this morning. I didn't even eat all of it. I ate half my food Half my food had a sip of two of this sweet tea. I'll probably pour most of it out actually I am because I don't need this sugar When I get home and I need to hurry up and get home my manager's emailing me about something that You know, I'm not gonna pour this out. I just got this.    This is a large y'all Let me pour this out. I just need a little sip I mostly drink water nowadays. Sorry y'all. I've only only got like five hours of sleep last night. Oh, it's dark y'all. Hold on I only got like how can we do this?  There we go.   I'm sorry. It's a stimulant And it increases anxiety stress It pushes you it puts you in the um, what are you called a fight or flight mode? Um, and it gives you a false sense of energy Yeah, no, so It wasn't really hard for me to stop drinking coffee to be quite honest because I only stored it once I had a child I was never a coffee drinker um But then I started drinking it and I would probably drink a cup A cup only like a cup or half a cup a day and that's it So yeah, anyway, yeah, I'm right outside of hobby lobby.  This is what I'm going to be using to edit my video. I'm gonna Baby Y'all I know This is what I'm going to be using to edit my videos on because my mac is dead. I'm really nervous though So I'm going to keep my mac Technically I sold my mac back to mac, but I have another 15 days to send it in So I'm going to give it five or six days to edit my videos on this iPad And if it's a a goat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, then um Oh, I feel like I got a sneeze then I will send in the mac and get me a keyboard for this Let me show y'all what I purchased speaking of at hobby lobby, and then we're gonna go we're gonna go, but I'm hungry Nothing let me show you what purchase look Let me show y'all Isn't this cute y'all Nothing we'll see when you get to the store, okay Isn't this cute and then I got these stickers, but let me show y'all Some other decoration I got when we have this house together. It's gonna be another month y'all I'm I'm recording here videos like I said, but I won't officially be active until Damn near May and that's just me me being honest. Um I don't want to do my she room until we have the house painted because I'm gonna have to end up taking everything down That's not that's just a waste. So let me show y'all. I've been slowly collecting stuff in this back room And I think I'm good. I have enough decoration. Um I purchased this cute cute cup That I'm going to put my pins in markers. Isn't this cute and it says all you need is love And lipstick Cute cute cute and then I got these decorative Um, I got a teal color and white. I guess I could turn the camera around but whatever A teal and white isn't as cute that I can hang somewhere on the wall But yeah, everything's coming together and it'll be so so cute. Um I'm this close to changing the color of our house To like a light gray, but yeah, I think that gray color so played out I really do the only reason sorry the only reason why I was thinking about is that I was looking at houses in texas Don't ask I was looking at houses in texas the interior and a lot of them were painted this light gray and it was so pretty, but I think I'll get bored with that. So we're gonna stick to the khaki and let me go ahead and get some clothes on I don't know what we're gonna eat Come on sweetheart this way We are now in bed baffin beyond because They got get three get two free. I mean by three get two free I ordered a pizza from jungle baby And jabby stop it Yeah, I haven't been in bed baffin beyond in a while, but I need some body stuff like to smell good for my husband. Yeah Yeah Everyone there looks great A wedding dress. Oh my gosh. Look at these wedding dresses. What is this? Uh, cantonetta. No, these are wedding. It's a wedding boutique Oh god, that's pretty I hope they have that cell here. Come on, baby Larva Vivian Yeah, I'm surprised I haven't gotten a call about my debit card as much money I've spent today Oh, look at that cute purse. Oh, look at that cute spring purse It's the most Girl, I'm port myself a glass of wine. Let me show y'all what I got I originally was gonna get the buy three get two free, but that stuff was 12 dollars each I don't think so. So instead I got these little minis that were three for 12 I think it's cute I have not shopped at bed baffin beyond and so long y'all This is cute So this is what I'm going to be using to upload my Videos to this. So I'm going to play around with this ipad tonight And if all goes well, the mac will go away and I can get me a keyboard and girl What's my credit card like seriously? I'm about to chop up this credit card. I know I got my money on I harassed home depot today and our tub Finally shipped out Finally shipped out so it should be here next week I text message the p. Hold on baby. I text message the p.m. And he's like cool So as soon as we get it they will start construction construction will take a week So y'all we should Pray in to god I need to I really need to pray about this that we should have our bathroom all situated by The end of sorry by the second week of april And then we can start doing the household painting and hopefully they'll be done by the beginning of may I'm cutting up your That baby they haven't even processed the order these kids don't know anything about time do they So you guys it is saturday the day after friday, of course, we just got finished going to fries picked up some more groceries Yeah, I got my toy He's all spoiled We have a birthday party that we have to go to later on It's from like it's a weird hour from two thirty to five typically birthday parties are earlier I don't know. I guess it depends We're only gonna stay there till four but what i'm gonna have to do. I normally start cooking Baby, I normally start cooking around three thirty because y'all know I cook girl I cook from scratch and I cook, you know, whatever So what i'm gonna do is i'm going to start cooking before we leave not everything but Like half of the stuff so that um I don't have to rush and get everything down. We're not gonna be there till five We will probably leave at four so that we can get back by four thirty. Um What time is it? It is early. It's seven thirty. Call it greens Um, oh, thank you, baby, even though you don't eat my food It's so sweet But you where you do cook um good cookies and good pancakes. I do cook he go It's so sweet. I do cook good cookies and pancakes. Yes, I do So, um, I'm gonna get my nails done. I probably around 10 a you guys I'll probably explain this later on which is you and I I'm gonna have to return this iPad. I am so frustrated. I spent most of last night You know um In front of the nail shop they opened early. I did not know they opened at nine o'clock I don't know my teeny on time. They tell me that I'm gonna let them know that I did not know they opened at nine o'clock And they should have told me Um, it's nine forty. I'm gonna I'm here early to get my nails done But what I was trying to say before my trial was driving me crazy is that I would not be able to use that iPad. I have it here Ready to go back to amazon The mac that I have you guys I'm only had this mac for four years and about three months ago. Yes three months ago Certain keys have stopped working and I've tried to do everything. I looked them on and apparently It's common with this particular mac So I was like, okay screw it. Let me go ahead. I got me a little um Bonus and so I'm like, well, let me take that bonus and buy myself an iPad Got the iPad last night like I showed y'all Immediately got on. I don't know. I went to Best Buy to get a usb, which was like 40 a usb s to sd car specifically for apple or mac Transfer everything over from my phone which girl now Yeah, I was like, what the hell it's going on. So all you do if you have an apple phone You just you know touch the phone to the iPad and everything sink sink down I was like, what in the alumni day hell is going on? You didn't have to do any type of transfer It just does it by itself as long as you as long as both devices are on right Cool. So I use my husband's iPad. I use his iPad Um to help him create a movie through iMovie and it was really really simple Why when I got on mine and I looked it up and like what the hell this doesn't look anything like my husband's The tools are totally different specific iMovie. Excuse me. It doesn't have anything It has your basics very basics So long story short girl, I cleaned that damn iPad and it's here ready to go back to amazon The good thing about that is because I spent so much money yesterday Between today and yesterday I have spent $400 But because of that, um, I had to I'm having to return a lot of stuff I don't I no longer need the usb card. I no longer need my ipad case Um, I also returned some other stuff and so what's the point? Um, this thing was like Almost nine everything together was almost $900. So whenever I get that money back What I'm going to do is pay um Towards my credit card for the stuff I spent this weekend Toward it will look like I only spent like $100 instead of four. All right, y'all We are on our way to the birthday party. Let me show you my hair. Let me get in the light Come to the light. Yes Girl, my hair is growing you guys. You grant it is stretched, but it really is growing. Let me get in front of the Yes, yes, see I think that I would I thought that I would it would take to me Well, yeah in my may I would be at my length again because it is growing extremely fast Yeah, so all right you guys we're gonna go ahead and go to this point I'm gonna leave my camera here. That is it for this vlog. Thank you so much for watching. Take care