Hey Virgo, welcome back to the channel. This is Kelly from House of Virgo doing your love reading for this time period that you're listening into November 2022. So yeah, let's get into this reading. Please do like, share, and subscribe if you enjoy my channel and my readings and personal reading links and all other links in the description box below. Okay? So just be mindful some of the messages may or may not resonate. Take a fit, leave the rest. Hi everybody in the chat. All right you guys. So I already started your reading and I had to stop it because my cards, my deck was sticking together. So again, and I have used all of your tips and tricks and yeah, well honestly it didn't work so I'm gonna figure something out. I'm gonna use a witch's tarot deck tonight. So anyway, the cards that came out photograph healing heart and heart with a key. So I feel like someone is looking at your pictures or they are seeing you in their mind's eye and reminiscing, being nostalgic, missing you and this energy feels to me with the healing heart card that it is incentivizing someone to heal. Heal their heartbreaks. Okay? Heal their pain to free themselves from toxic behavior and addictions. Okay? And if that resonates for you, well that might be your message. Okay? Heart with a key. I feel like there is somebody here and is this somebody that you are romantically connected with or is it a friend? We shall see but it is a romance. Love reading. Heart with a key. This feels to me like this person wants to connect with you. Okay? Wants to get together. Wants to welcome the love that you offer to them. All right? Now the three cards that fell out with the tarot. You have the ten of cups, the six of cups and the lovers. So there is an energy here of making a decision to reconcile and live happily ever after. This and I know that sounds so cliche to say but this feels like an energy of somebody who is ready, willing, able and motivated to come into union with you. Okay? After healing, any type of an addiction or heartbreak or toxic behavior. Okay? Definitely. All right? So I feel like, okay, that's your reading. See you later. I feel like there's a big change that's being made. This lovers feels to me like twin souls coming into union, being open and vulnerable and connecting. Gemini energy there. And I know you guys, Gemini has been in these readings like nobody's business. I don't understand what's going on but Gemini all over the map keeps showing up. So I know some of you are like, I don't want the Gemini back. That's fine. It doesn't have to be a Gemini. It's an energy of communication. Okay? It is mercury rolled with the lovers. It's talking. It's getting together. It's being open and vulnerable and transparent with one another, being truthful, speaking from the heart. Okay? So somebody also may want to reconcile a marriage, not get that divorce. Be a family again. Bring the children back together again. Let's see what else is going on here. All right. Okay. Five of pentacles. So there's definitely an energy here. This person is in this position and or going into this position in November where they are really weighing their options. In other words, is it better to just be in a stark cold environment and not have to worry about a relationship or is it better to come into union with you? Because I feel like right now this person is standing out there all by themselves in the cold. It's barren. It's a wasteland. There's no love. There's only freezing cold snow. There's barely any fruit on this tree. And I feel like this person has not provided the fruits of their labors. They have not provided good fruit. Okay? Perhaps in the past or just in general. So I feel like somebody here is taking whatever fruit they have provided and they are basically weighing out, is this enough? This is making a decision here. Has what is what I offer to a love relationship enough? Was it enough? Okay. Was I only, I feel like, so this person is holding two pentacles and there are five pentacles here. I feel like this person was offering, how can I say this? To collaborate, but it may have felt to you or it may feel to you like this is more of like a work partnership or colleagues or friends and no romance. Okay. And why? Because I think this person may have been weighing their options to see. And I hate to say this, but it has nothing to do with their feelings for you. It feels more along the lines of, is this the right person for me? Is their compatibility? I feel like chemistry is there for sure. And I do feel like there is an attraction and there is love, but it boiled down to this person. Are we compatible? Can this work? And I feel like this person is coming to terms with yes, this can work, despite any obstacles, despite any feelings of, I guess I want to say a poverty mindset of isolation or financial loss or a sense of feeling like not well enough to be in a relationship, the sun here is a positive. That's a yes, that's success. So overall, it feels like this person is coming to terms with, you know, I really do love Virgo or will come to terms with that in November. Virgo is my other half. Virgo is my person. And yes, I know I'm ready to make this work. Okay, but we're going to take a look at you to Virgo and see what your energy is. We also have a Leo on the table. So see what's going on with you. I feel like it, it might feel good for some of you to know that somebody really does love you and they want to try to make this work. But I don't know, I just kind of get the sense that some of you might be on the fence about it at this point. Okay, got the star query synergy. Okay, and there's you, male or female energy, quita pedagals. Right now, Virgo, it seems like you're healing.  And I feel like you are very focused on stabilizing yourself. You may not even have it in your mind to be ready or to be willing. Right? Why? Because you had some kind of a heartbreak or there might have been betrayal or arguments or a separation or a divorce. Okay, maybe some depression. Some of you, I feel like are on the mend at this point, you're still healing your heart. Even if it's a new love coming in, some of you are kind of like, I don't know if this is something I'm ready for. I want it, but I don't know if I can do it. So it feels like Virgo, you might not be motivated to get into something too quickly at this time as you're focusing on, like I said, your healing. That star energy is, you know, it's a real strong sign of getting your hope back. Some of you are waiting for a miracle. You're trying to get that inner clarity. Okay. And regaining your faith. And I feel like that's good, right? Because what good would you be in a relationship with anyone if you weren't stabilized, if you weren't over somebody else or, you know, whether this is someone new or a past relationship returning, you know, Virgo, you, I feel like for you, your message, you're saying to yourself is perhaps I can't, I can't start fresh until I've cleaned the slate within my heart. This residual leftover, maybe some pain, emotional pain. Okay. But night of cups, you do, you do eventually want to have that, you may even eventually want to have that with this person. Okay. But you don't want someone who comes in with that night. If they're going to do the night of cups where they're going to come in and make an offer and then follow through. Yes, that's what you want.  Okay. Are they going to follow through though? Um, I think they will. But I also feel like that's what you're going to be looking for. And that's what you want here, making that connection, a mutual understanding between each other, coming in with that love offer and getting on the same page. Okay. That is where you're at at this time in your life. And I feel like Virgo, some of you, you're not taking less than, uh, less, less than that. You're not even interested in a friends with benefits. You're not interested in just friendship. You are wanting to make that soul to soul love connection. That two of cups is that soul to soul, mutual understanding, romantic love, partnership, proposal, and, or even marriage. Okay. So, you know, I don't feel like you're blocking yourself though. I feel like you're open if love comes in, but I don't see you rushing to make that happen or to secure that at this time. You're very focused on your healing and, and cleaning up whatever baggage of the past. Okay. Three of pentacles. That's what that person left you. Right. You're not looking for to be in a romantic relationship here with someone, um, where it just feels like you are like you work together, like you're just partners. You know, you're looking for romance. You want love, affection, hugs, and kisses. Listen, Virgo, I do feel, um, that this person either, if they're new coming in, there is going to be a love connection made. Okay. And whether that's new or old, I do feel like the love that this person has for you is much deeper. Um, it could be a Taurus. It could be, um, another Virgo or a Capricorn. I feel like they do have very, very deep love for you. It's more than just romantic love. I mean, it's deep. It's like coals burning deep. Okay. Um, and or they will come, you know, going forward for you. Okay. Yeah.  I know and some of you, or at least you will be when you connect with this person. You know, you guys, sometimes I feel like these messages are exactly the same. I really do. And I feel for you because I know some of you are like, when is this going to happen? When is this going to happen? And you know, all I can really say is divine timing. Okay. Um, I feel like somebody here, if you already have a connection with this person, or you met them sometime around September, that's when this person has come to terms, um, a month ago that you are the one for them. Now, why? Maybe there was some absence. Um, obviously there is because this person, I feel like missing you. What is it going to take though?  Um, let's take a look here and see. All right. Yeah. This person wants to win. Win your heart. They must be very competitive. They could be competitive in a lot of ways. You know, that six represents loyalty and responsibility. This person feels responsible. Um, if you knew them in the past for causing any distress or not treating you, um, not infusing love into the connection, but it feels, you know, it's so I'm not going to say that it's ego with the six of wands in the upright. I do feel like if it was in the reverse, um, I do feel like this person, it would be like lack of confidence and their ego would cause them to come back, but I'm not feeling that at all. I feel like this person wants you to see them as a winner. There is an energy that perhaps you don't see that in this person. Some of you might have even called this person a loser, which I hope you didn't do that, but you know, you're human. Sometimes that happens.  They agree, you know, and I feel like they don't want to be in that. They don't want to be viewed that way. They don't want you to think that way about them, okay? They want to be the I need a hero. They want to, they want to be your hero. They want to be your hero, heroine, heroine, so don't we say it? Uh, heroette. I don't even know. I'm making up words here. Whatever. It's my channel. I'll do whatever the heck I want, right? So, ace of pentacles. Yeah. There is an opportunity here definitely to come into union, but Virgo, just because the opportunity comes doesn't mean it's for you. Your, I don't want to get into too much of a deep psychological thing, but I, I just feel like you're not settling, you know, and I don't feel like you feel like, it just feels like you know you're worth. You know what I mean? Like, and if you're not in that position yet, you're getting there. You know what I mean? Like, that's what that star is.  I know that's not the lyrics, but I'm making it up. So, the world page of cups and the page of pentacles. Yeah, Virgo, you are, the ties are turning for you. You are on a new path and I feel like you're just kind of starting over with the page of cups, you know, kind of like there's definitely communication. If you make the change, I do feel like you're going to get some kind of communication through the internet, you know, or through your phone, like maybe a text. Whenever I see the page, I always feel like pages. There's some kind of offer or a communication of someone telling you their ideas and plans, or what they want to do. Okay. Libran energy here. You also have Scorpio energy with the world. And I said the other signs for that. So, I feel like somebody wants to do right, you know, they want to balance things out. Okay. So, I mean, hey, it's good for them, right, because they want to do that, but I don't know. Some of you do want that to happen and others, some of you may decide not to go through with a divorce because of this, you know, because of what this person comes in and says with this vulnerability and opening up and being transparent. Some of you may find out that this person is actually going through with a divorce as well. And for others, this person, let's go get hitched. Let's go to Vegas, you know, that kind of quick and fast. Let's just go before the judge, you know, let's take it to the courts and let's get hitched. I know that may not be romantic, but it does feel kind of like a change and spontaneous behavior from this person. There you go. The chariot. It's telling you go. Don't waste any more time. I don't know if this is go for it or leave the situation, but whatever the situation is, don't waste any more of your time on frivolous pursuits. Just do it. Go after what you want. Blockages are definitely going to be removed during this time period and I kind of feel like you guys, you know which path you want to go. If somebody is coming in with that offer for you, don't ponder it for too long. Take a risk. Just do it. Just do it. Okay. And if for others, like don't be on the fence, state your case as if you're in the court of law. State your case. Say exactly what you expect. Say exactly what it is that you want and that you're seeking. If you do the, well I'm not sure, the universe is going to give you someone who's not sure. If you do the, well let's see how it goes. The universe is going to come in and just give you a very broad range of paths. Be specific and exact with people, places, and things, and spirit and and say exactly what you want. That's how blockages are being removed because then you don't waste time on details and frivolity. You get right to the heart of the matter.  You manifest. You see it through. And I'm not talking about manifesting a person. I'm talking about manifesting your desires. The things that are best for you. Okay.  I understand that love comes in, love goes out, and some of you have been in an off and on, can't find anybody, whatever. But when you're focused on yourself, you attract the good that's in you. Okay. Rather than focusing on what you don't have, when you focus on what you don't have, you're never going to be satisfied because you don't have it. But if you focus on what you do have, you will feel the abundance. Do you understand what I mean? And not compare yourself to what other people have. They're sure there's people your age who already have children and you don't. There's people your age who have been married and you haven't been. It's not a sprint. It's a marathon and everything is in divine timing. And your timing has nothing to do with somebody else's timing. And once you accept that that's where you are in your life, you know, you have the power to make those decisions. Okay.  Well, underneath God and the forces and supernatural powers that be. Okay. So I feel like, you know Virgo for you, it might be and don't shoot the messenger, but it might be time for you to get off the fence and make a solid hard core decision. Right? Because some of you are sitting and some of you I know might be just waiting for someone to make a move, but you know what? Some of you are waiting for closure, but you know what? You got to give it to yourself. You have to be the one to set the standard for yourself, what you will and won't accept in your life. Right? You have free will. You can do whatever you want and you have to be clear and honest with yourself. That way you'll be clear and honest with other people. So you have year of the ox showing up here. I feel like the tiger shows up a lot, so here it is again. Year of the dragon, year of the snake, year of the horse, year of the rabbit, year of the goat, year of the rooster. So this could be you, could be your person, could be both of you, could be neither. Just take the message as it resonates. Let me get a couple of love romance angels to see what other messages there are here for you. The overall message though, when I'm picking up, is despite whether someone's coming in to give you that love or not, you have to decide. It's up to you to decide if you want this or not. You can't be in a position and say, well this person gave me all this love and then they took it away, right? Maybe they do, but you have sovereignty.  No one can make you do anything unless you give them the power to do that. And then it's still your decision because you're giving them the power.   Okay, romantic feelings. So your feelings are real and worth exploring and I think that that's something that you need to do is identify how you feel about a person, about the relationship, your feelings and your affection for someone. Make sure it's true. Make sure you're being true and honest to yourself about how you feel about another person. I feel like whoever this other person is, they are exploring how they feel, which is a lot of the reason why the Love Offer is coming in here to you. It might have a little bit of yesterday's reading as well. Worth waiting for. Divine timing. And this is what I was saying. I feel like everybody's always in a rush to get to the end. I know I used to be that way. Just wanted to secure it. Just wanted to get to the rather than enjoying the journey, just wanted to get to the end result as fast as possible. And I'm telling you, that is just not a life to live. Enjoying the journey, enjoying and trusting in the process, taking the scenic route is the way to go. Let me see here. Codependency. Addictions are affecting romantic life. So there is, like I was saying in the very beginning, somebody here is healing some addictions or toxic behavior that has had an effect on you and may cause codependency in you. And this person definitely codependency. It could have a lot of the reason why if you were involved with this person before, why there was a lot of in and out on and off back and forth energy. That's codependent toxic. Codependency is toxic. Okay. All right. So I feel like I'm going to do just a couple of charms and then I'm going to move on from your reading. Tomorrow, I think I'll do like an extended. I'll see how that goes. I'm going to do the Celtic Cross. Let me get a couple of charms. Oh gosh, hold on you guys. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, okay. So Black Swan. Beautiful. So I'm feeling like black sheep. Somebody feels like a black sheep of the family. That could be you. This could be another person. Somebody here feels like the odd one out. Somebody feels weird. They feel uncomfortable. They feel awkward. They feel like they're not good enough. They feel like they're different and they're not part of. Somebody just kind of feels like they're not like a misfit. I just heard the word misfit. Somebody feels like a misfit. And I feel like that's, I don't know who that is. A misfit when it comes to love. I feel like someone keeps misfiring or they keep missing the mark. It's like they want love so much but they deny it. There's a lot of self-sabotaging that happens mostly because somebody doesn't feel like they deserve it. Wow. This is the first time I ever got this charm. I have a pumpkin sitting in a pumpkin patch.  And also a very beautiful little cross. Wow. So, you know, the fall, definitely November. And they're also just telling me with this black swan, different is beautiful. Different is unique. Different is the strange, the special, which makes someone unique. Different is the many markings, the battle scars. Someone who is not a carbon, a cookie cutter copy of everybody else. There's a uniqueness to someone here. And is that you Virgo or is it this person? I feel like when someone feels like they're not part of a team or they're left out in the cold or they feel abandoned, there's a tendency to really believe that. But I feel like in a situation like that, it's so important to look to turn inward and look at all those great special qualities. Yeah, we're not all made the same. It's an illusion to think that we are all exactly the same. Exactly the same. It's our differences that make us so beautiful and that make us unique and special. I feel like you see that also Virgo in the ones that you love, the people that you fall for. I feel like you tend to fall for people who are unique, maybe artistic, special, different, maybe even a little weird and awkward. But I feel like you wouldn't have it any other way Virgo because you are a realist. You see beyond the veil, not many people do. You're not interested in keeping up with the Joneses so to speak or you want different because you feel that way, you feel unique and you feel special as well. But it's not in like a narcissistic way. It's just you fly under the radar a lot of the time. And I don't, I feel like spirit is just pushing these words out. These are not things that I would normally say to people when I talk to people, but I feel like you fly under the radar because you don't want to be tagged or labeled as being exactly like everybody else. You want to be known yet unknown. Does that make sense? You are the, you are the one that rushes in to save someone when they fall on the side of the street. And then as soon as they are up and feeling better, you just walk away. You don't want credit. You don't want thanks and congratulations, awards or ceremonies. You're just there to do the angels work. You're just there to serve. That's the sign of Virgo. But you're also keenly aware that you can only help those who are willing to help themselves. Otherwise, co-dependency kicks in and then you're doing it for them. People need to stand on their own two feet and you're always going to be there to help people get up, but you won't walk for them. And if you've been doing that, I see like you're healing from that. So this reading, I'm taking a break. This was, this was something. I'm going to leave it there. Okay. I'm going to leave it there. And I feel like for you Virgo, make your decision when love walks in the store. Okay. Make your decision. Is this person capable of meaning me halfway? That's really the question. Are they motivated? Are they willing? And are they capable? Forget the love because love is love. But can they do it? That's where the decision is being made. And if you turn around and say, no, I don't think this person has all three of those, not exactly in that order, despite how much you and this person love each other, you have to meet halfway. You have to come together to make something happen, to make the magic happen. And if somebody is not capable for various reasons, if they're not willing and they're not motivated, then cut your losses Virgo because you still have you. You still have that healing. Okay. Stay in faith. But I do feel like October, November is going to be a significant time for a decision for you to make because you are going to be presented with an offer. Okay. And they just said, if you're planning on carving your pumpkin, carve a heart in the pumpkin, put a heart in the pumpkin. That's what they're saying. I don't know why. That's kind of cute. Maybe something if you have children or grandchildren to do that with them. All right. I'm going to leave you reading there. I hope that was, I don't even know what I hope that was. I hope it helped. How about that? So I will see you guys tomorrow. Have a fantastic evening and yeah.


And Stephen welcome to a mere approved showman. How you doing brother? I'm wonderful. How are you? I'm good I'm good.   This isn't me saying You know, it's not me saying I'm set in stone Like this is the end all to be all but for the most part, this is spectrum How I how I genetically behave based on my genetics and my upbringing, you know I'm gonna go in and change my genes with like, you know, DNA gene testing. We're not quite there yet in the future We probably will be where you can alter your genes But that's still that's just the the hardware you so that then alter the software to behave with the hardware so the reason that I have you on is I want to kind of dive in deep and educate people on What you do is like, what's the science behind it? What you do and how can people benefit from gaining this knowledge because for me personally, it's been it Invalidated everything that I was kind of having a hunch about Okay. Um, yeah, so Here's the deal.  I call it the dark side of the moon if I'm passive So we measure The levels of consistency in your four primary emotions, which are anger, optimism, patience and fear and as you said earlier They're captured in the moment that you take the assessment now. There's core behaviors Which is unconscious it's largely unconscious to us So if in a simple disc Set up you're looking at Questions and you're looking at words and you're saying out of these four words Which one is most like me and then out of these four words? Which ones are least like me? So when you're saying oh, I'm least like that That doesn't mean you don't have that emotion.  So What's your question Like a bird's-eye view of the method methodology of what you do Okay, like a Cole's notes is like, okay, like I'm coming towards you I've heard about you through friends like what do you do like? How does it benefit me as an end user? Well, you know, I I run you through three separate tools a behavioral Which is based on your primary emotional consistencies a motivational which is seven motivational elements And then the integration of those in other words What type of environment is going to be pleasing to your brain? Like if I'm out of control in an environment, I'm not in control. I'm gonna feel brain tension Which isn't because I'm a control freak It's because I'm not able to be in charge of my own space and I don't feel good when that happens And so it's a measure of what we value when it comes to these seven elements and then we measure the axiology which is Meaning I Just had a gentleman Yesterday, I talked with son of an entrepreneur and if I said his name you would know who it was He needed a score below 30 to be really good in good shape he was a hundred and fifty four It was the worst Axiological profile I've ever seen So this individual lives in an alternate reality because he cannot see the world at all Well, I find out he's not working and every time he tries to work he either quits or gets fired So what does he do he games eight hours a day? Usually in the evening and into the night and he's on Twitter and he wants to make money doing this which I know you can But that's I said that's your alternate world That's the world you live in but when you go outside of your home. That's not the world you see And he doesn't get it. He doesn't understand the world So, you know, I'm recommending mdma therapy and some other things To help him along But it's fixable but it's arduous But he was almost he was shaken up. He said for the first time in my life I'm talking to a person who doesn't think I'm a lazy bum And he was smart. He was smart That's exactly where it is. So like People who are listening what's what steve does Is As he mentioned, there's there's a lot of mathematics behind this and stats and a lot of like years and years of research for many many many very intelligent people where you go through a process of Questionnaire process like a lot of Let's summarize as a survey a real deep dive serve and it's long It's not like simple check check check It it takes a while for you to complete this serve and you can't rush it Like you have to think about the questions and be honest um And based on this deep dive survey Coupled that with the mathematical statistic pattern on the back end you get two types of Behaviors you have innate behavior Which is let's say your naturalistic behavior as a human without you being in any circumstance This is how you kind of behave in a certain spectrum Then you kind of have I think you called it like what was an artificial behavior? What was the second one? Adapted behavior adaptive behavior.  You're out on the street.  No point to be here. But what do they do? Would you please not do that? Weak comes by the sociopathic monster does it again Yeah, please not do that again and again and again. They don't set boundaries. They don't they don't do this So in shared space they fail they fail in shared space Um, or they can just leave. Oh, yeah, they could you know, um So this is where we get into what our brains need versus what they want but let me ask you a question In general, would you like to see a more natural overlay between the natural and the adaptive behavior? Or no I don't understand you what you what you're getting at with that you have a score of a natural behavior, right? Then you have a score of the adaptive behavior. Yes Would you like him to have a similar pattern? Oh Okay, um That's not going to happen A lot and the reason being is now when it comes to entrepreneurial people who have nobody managing them But themselves that pattern will remain similar. Got you or it will become more Um, uh consistent it'll get stronger, which means they stretch out Um, when I see a subordinate with similar profiles on adaptive versus natural it means they're not being managed Or they're doing exactly what their brain is wired to do And so they can operate out of their natural set of emotions and it works for them in shared space So there's shared space and then there's Separate space so we live in separate existence or shared existence Um, if you were the only person on the planet, you wouldn't be putting stuffed animals in the back window of your car We only do that so other people can see them We don't hang dice from the mirror when we're the only person on earth It's in the way But we do it so people can say oh they get dice hanging from the mirror Like almost everything we do is in response to another human being. Yeah social signaling. Yeah, and and and Bumper stickers, you know all this stuff. I'm trying to let people know You know, uh, I have certain ideals or what whatever the case and if people don't approve of them I get hurt or I get angry or I get independent or whatever's going to happen But when you understand yourself fully Then you can pick and choose the environments.  I would say the number is between 70 and 75 percent um When it comes that kind of seems I'm I'm kind of viewing the lens of the work that you do from an evolutionary aspect Mm-hmm, right.  And you look within the tribes you have certain archetypical type of people There's even like interesting studies on like why certain why tribes had sociopaths Like they were actually used for certain like in wartime measures You know, there's a saying they need a wartime leader and a peacetime leader. Now the psychology is completely different, right? Yes. Yes Uh, and so like you look at these dynamics within a tribe You have let's say different types of leaders and different type of like totem pole, uh, let's say hierarchy It kind of makes sense to where a group would follow. Let's say the Uh closed group politicians of the day, you know And so now we're in a much more stickier situation where we're not in 100 and you know, 150 type of Dumbart number tribes where in this global society Interactions are much more complex much more dynamic. It's a compound effect and You know, oh and e wilson, you know the famous biologist states We have paleolithic emotions medieval institutions and godlike technologies. We're still chimps But yet we have this technology that's Feeding into us and we have society that's kind of trying to struggle with the fact that we haven't really upgraded our software in the last million years Yeah, yeah, so I've been reading about that. Um There's a great book out there by uh, michael schermer Called the believing brain. Oh, that's the fb. Is that the that's the hoped conspiracy guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so why do people believe weird things? um, and it's it's a powerful read and uh in in the way human beings do things is We need things to believe in we need A certain environmental atmospheres For us to feel good and safe Uh, uh, you know, my dear mom bless her heart. Uh, she's passed now But um, my mom love her to death. She was the best mom in the world, but my mom was a passive woman Um, my dad is still with us and he's a sociopath um, and uh, my mom didn't want To be emotionally abused she needed to be emotionally abused And I had this conversation over and over and over with my mom And no matter how much I was able to point out mom. Here's what you did. Here's what dad did And here's how many times he's cheated on you and it's in the hundreds um, and and and all these different things And she would be looking at me and I could see in her face It's not clicking She's not getting it and finally we moved her to california to live with my sister and all she did for the rest of Her life, which was about almost 10 years in california is worry about my dad Who's driving the car at 78 years of age? Through trailer parks looking for horse While my mom's in california lost the home everything because of him and she's worried about him So what is that? um, you can't fix that um, she's she's got stuff going on in there That she just needs to be placed in a situation where that can work for her But she would know a good situation behaviorally if it walked in with a red hat on um, she just would he would he say part of that behavior that your mom and funny thing this kind of Seems similar to my parents situation as well um Would you say this would be Possible or the reason why your mother behaves this way is because The setting that she grew up in like her household dynamics between her mother and yeah, my mom was abused by her mother Yes, and so was the sisters and uh two aunts my mother's two sisters, which are no longer with us Ended up both being lesbians Because of this Interesting. Um, that's a whole horrific story. It's it's not it no one would watch the movie um But anyway, um So they're developed in my mom a need To have a situation or circumstance that worked against her for her to feel Normal. Yes in the world um And You know now my mom was religious She was a christian it worked for my mom to the degree that anything could work for her So she filtered everything through That religious lens Which caused her to be very so you're either you either make things happen imagine things happening hope things happen or doubt things happen So my mom ended up in the hope category, which means she her her greatest emotion that she relied on was patience So that's the people that put up with a bad deal like forever Uh, so she was a 98 out of 100 on patience um, and so She always hoped things would work out. She hoped things would change and christianity is graced upon the great is based on the great hope Yeah, um So we with patience, you know, you know st paul If he actually wrote this, uh, he says he talks about you know living by faith So therefore we with patience wait for it. So all my mom learned to do was wait for better days And that stimulated her brain and felt good. So although she's living in emotional poverty and confusion with my father um, she would Lean into this hope for better days um, and because she was hopeful instead of regretful Um, it felt good for her because when she was young and being abused she was hoping it would stop And then when it did hope was the hero And so she lived out of a sense of hope to be able to dislodge my mom from that was Nearly impossible to do and I can't count the talks I've had with her before she passed Um, and then there became a time where you know what the one bible verse. I appreciate is Uh comfort the feeble minded. That's what that's all it says comfort them tuck him into bed Give him a sippy cup because they're ain't going anywhere So there are people that their minds are so Distorted and they've gone through such horrendous circumstances at times That certain things that are their enemies end up their friends You know, I was in a situation 11 Eight eight years ago and I ended up seeing somebody again and suit some counseling for whatever And I remember coming to the conclusion that I liked being a victim Like I embraced the victimhood It really worked in with my greater story Have even beat up when I was a kid and all these different things And I remember looking at the the counselor and saying, you know what? I know my problem is I love being a victim and he busted out laughing Is like no one's ever said that I said, but it's true. I realized what it is. I said the only problem is I'm getting tired of it Yeah, and he was like, well, that's great. So I worked on that for years And I had my axiology done a while back and I had very terrible self-esteem When I got my axiology score back just a cup less a week ago. I did it again And it's hard to cheat that you can't really cheat it because you don't know what what you're doing You don't know how it's going to come out. Even I can't really cheat it I got to focus to cheat on it and I didn't focus. I just did it And my self-esteem was 60 positive 100 clarity. I have turned that aircraft carrier around I completely turned it around and it took Seven years of hard work and Saying things I would normally not say and just going into going no, this is insanity I'm going to do this and I just kept working it and working it and working it It's like chiseling out as new statue of yourself. It takes a long time Um, but I was persistent and I kept doing it and I have turned that ship around Now the clients that come to you or like in general like let's say, you know, I did the report with you kind of a month or two ago And there's always with everybody there's room to improve depending on what you want to focus on Of course, right? You can't do and also you can't be focusing on everything. You should focus on certain aspects, right? Yes what You know, let's kind of make a dummy case here. Like, you know, we'll call her Michelle Michelle comes there She does the axiology reporting. We look at all her analysis. We do a deep dive.    This is it right here What then? Okay, so at that point they have a decision to make um, so there's this first stage which is It's revelation or a realization and it creates inspiration in the moment Um, uh, but I think the problem with people is they move they get a revelation They get all excited their emotions start flowing. They get inspired So revelation inspiration always follows revelation And then what they do is they go move into institutionalization. So they look for a A specific way of going through this working path Yeah fixing it and That becomes formalization. So now they're formalizing it and then it turns into crystallization, which means It's like being martin luther in the olden days. They're going. Oh my god And he nails the 95 thesis on the catholic doors, you know the church is now today all these years later You got lutherans. Yep, and there's no inspiration. There's no change. There's no excitement. There's no nothing. It's completely crystallized Right, so you have to get a fresh revelation of who you are why you're here if you can come up with one um And then realize i'm doing this for me and the way i'm going to do it is not going to be formalized It's not going to be institutionalized.  See how he viewed it. Yeah He completely changed the way he he's justifying not verifying And I said stop it's it's on one of my podcasts.  Here's what you do Thank you. I really appreciate you doing that. This is my year to learn that I'm worth it. Mm-hmm.  Yeah, that's your problem. It's bad to need help Yeah, right. These are the dominant types Um, and so I can I can relate man By putting them in situations Where it's it's what I call exposing the film in the olden days when I was young cameras had film inside and you open the back In the sunlight it's it's ruined, right? That's what you have to do to your brain.  I got to solicit a confession So when you start saying these things and pulling people in so they're knowing where you're at What you're doing what's going on you start to change your synapses The way you how do people sit and text with their thumb a million miles an hour without getting wrong sentences They've created neural networks around it We got to create neural networks around loving ourselves and being happy with who we are instead of competing and comparing and all these other things Which is killing us So all of our motivations are illicit. They're wrong Uh, and so I get people to just Change and it's always through a process of doing different things. I had a woman. She was a former miss america Um, and she had a handicap so she was former miss america with with a handicap um in that world and thought she was A nobody Was losing her home like all these different things and she's talking about her diary I said no more diaries screw the diary. You're gonna write a desirate No more diaries. It's desirate And she's like, what's the desirate?  She ended up getting her house back and all these different things It's an incredible story Um, I'm gonna have to actually put her on the podcast I haven't even thought about it But the point I'm making is so freaking powerful You got to just change the way you think because you are what you think And we don't realize what we're thinking But when I give you a full on analysis on how you think how you feel The emotions you're relying on for doing things in the world are not doing them all these your axiology How you find meaning in the world? Are you living in an alternate universe? Are you living on planet earth because some people are in an alternate world? Because you got to have balance between your world and your inner self and outer self And if you don't you would make up a world for yourself to live in And when I have all that out there, they know exactly what the problem is every single time And then what do you want to do now? And then not everybody goes forward from that point on Of course when I'm working with companies and things like that We're looking at different hires and stuff like that. You can't get into all that But I look at a graph go. Ah, I'm probably cheating on their mate. Just just like that just looking at it You know what I mean? It's scary, you know And so, you know, I've had people that have Went through me in order to get a job with a company 10 years ago and are still friends with me and they didn't even get the job They become friends simply because they were so moved And blown away by learning so much about themselves through a hiring process And some have signed up for work and so on so forth, but But the hiring process I I want to kind of touch base on the company. It's like, what's the What's the genesis of how do companies utilize this for their success? Well companies that work with me Every hire goes through the portal. They call it being scissorized Um, they got a trademark. You got a trademark that man. Yeah. Well, we're working on it They go through this process. Um, and then I look at this and then then we talk Okay, a lot of your hiring out there There's all these things available online where you take a test And then it comes back and says at the bottom there's a circle and it says 79 like 79 chances person is going to work out That's insanity. There's too many variables to do that. You can't do that, right? Um, so what I do is I run them through a battery Um, now these things are automated So it's very quick to get the numbers and you can talk to me in 10 minutes. I'll tell you their life story Um, and so I'll say here's what you like. Here's the atmosphere. Here's who they're working with Here's who they're working for here's what they're doing and here's how this brain's gonna fit into that It ain't ain't gonna work and here's why So what my the company's learned to do is steve just do this or that That's it up or down They've learned because when I've said this is likely to happen I had one company cost them 700 thousand dollars because they said I'm we're gonna hire them anyway Yeah, um and different things.   Okay Yes, all right. Why dot dot dot dot dot or I don't know. What do you think? Here's the problems and here's the challenges You're likely gonna receive and they're like, you know what? I think that's gonna work for us I think those problems are gonna work for us great hire them hire her whatever it is um, and so That's why they stay with me for years and years and years um because it works um now we're not perfect Um, but I can't even think of somebody that didn't work out and if somebody doesn't work out It's usually because they're being mismanaged. Yeah, because the manager's a dork Um or good issues You know, I had a I had a company they had a manager um This company is really up and coming. I mean they are Up and coming. It's huge during the news a lot right now. Okay, but they had an individual and I'm like sociopath Um red flag, you know, they didn't do anything about it Ended up being a huge lawsuit On this person and they had to litigate in the whole deal and I called it And they should have let the person go I tell people never delay the inevitable Inevitably this is going to go sideways. So you want to deal with it now? Yeah, your profit ended as fast as possible sideways. Yeah Does that happen every single time? No But most of the time No, it's very important too. It's like You know people forget like when you're hiring somebody the upfront capital cost and deployment cost and opportunity cost is massive for a company, especially if you're hiring a top a player that's Cost you hefty hefty within within salary and stock options, right? Yes So you can't you know can't lightly be hiring people and also dynamics too. It's like you may have And you mentioned the manager you may have a really well suited candidate But that candidate can't really thrive in the environment You know the problems in companies are rarely skill rarely education. Yeah rarely any of these things It's always behavior It's always comes it always comes down to behavior. I have a company I'm so glad I did this and it wasn't even my idea, but I started consulting with a company in 2000 and Maybe 15 later end of 2015. They just were a startup. They they originated in 2014 So I negotiated stock options for consulting So I consulted them strong for a year and then half speed the next year And then now not a lot if anything But I got my stocks And so that was 2015 six and 18. So four oh 16. I think 2016. So 17 18 19 three years in They just were evaluated over 30 million And they just got some investment money and now they're going to go no holds bar They're going to be challenging some big companies Um, and I'm think I said to my wife the other day that might have been the best decision The upside man, this this is how arnold arnold and uh, arnold schwarznecker made most of his money on that crazy deal with uh Him and danny devido what it's called twins Yes So they said I think they said no salary because it was too expensive the studio didn't want to do it Because they don't want to take a risk on arnold for being in a first comedy because like, yo, you're an action star You know, right, right, right? So arnold's like listen, listen, I've talked to denny, uh, devido. We'll take zero salary, which is like, okay But we're taking upside of equity and ip on the back end. Yes Yeah, so that's kind of like a case study in hollywood and the studio execs to this day said we're never making that deal again Yeah, and then i'm thinking of these other companies. I worked with another company for four years and they sold for 630 million Wow And now, uh, they were purchased and they brought me in again um And they're they just went public Under the new regime regime meaning a good word not a bad word there And uh, they're worth up to 2 billion now And uh, they just brought me in for for this year for more consulting um And uh helping them build their people so they invest highly in people And in being a good person at work being somebody that other people want to work with and for And that's where they spend their money and It's it's it's proving to be a very good strategy um for them yeah, like I tend to do what what I want people to take away from this episode is Listen the reason you behave the way you behave is based on many dynamics in your life right, there's no There's no there's not one thing you can point out.  Everybody doesn't matter who you are And instead of playing the blaming game. I like to say play play the detective game You know, there's there's patterns within your behavior now this it's not about saying this behavior is good or bad It's just a fact. That's that's how you behave. And you know, what what steven does is we can identify Uh, let's call it a blueprint like you're building a house We can identify a blueprint of your psychological map both innate and and adaptive And based on this blueprint, we can create an a strategy now. We know how you behave, right? There's not it's not mystical It's not saying oh You know because of x y and z is like no, you know now now we've kind of identified now. We can create a proper plan of attack Uh to start I'm gonna say yeah rewiring your belief systems, but start Start creating then proper environments and situations that your natural innate behavior can thrive it You know, a lot of people are like the pinball in a pinball machine Once they shoot out into the world They're only responding to bumpers that push them off or lead them into a right direction But they are not steering that car Um, and I try to help people no matter what your behavioral orientation is to end up in charge of your own life Um, you know, if you don't like the job quit If you don't have a job start looking You know, don't just hope something happens or doubt something happens or imagine it happening You got to make it happen. You got to putting things in place in order to build a process of development to where by the time This time around next year shows up. I'm in a better position than I'm in right now um And uh, like I said 75 percent or so people are passive about 17 percent of assertive 7 percent are aggressive and 3 percent are passive aggressive Hmm. Um, and based upon those numbers, uh, the aggressive people are running the planet Make sense. They're running all the politics. Um, and everybody else is acquiescing You know, and that's why every country goes south after three to 400 years Yeah, it's cyclical Yeah, because human behavior never changes. It's a one predictable thing in the world And but it doesn't have to be that way You can take control of your life and at least get yourself in a situation where you know yourself really well And you start predicting what you're likely going to do in a situation and at that point you can make a different decision Yeah, if you can't if you don't know what's going on exactly and I think we'll leave it at that I think that's a beautiful way to end the episode. Uh, steven Once again, thanks for coming on and sharing what you do if people want to know more about this and get in touch with you Maybe take the uh the uh profiling. What's the best resource for them? behavioral resource group dot com That's where to go or you can just google steven sissler That's okay. I will also leave this this will be both on itunes and podcasts I'll leave that in show notes and if you're watching this on youtube The link to steven's company is below this as well and steven. Once again, thanks for coming on and sharing your wisdom Thanks, amir