This episode was prerecorded as part of a live continuing education webinar. On-demand CEUs are still available for this presentation through all CEUs. Register at allceus.com slash counselor toolbox. So I'd like to welcome you to human growth and development addressing and preventing stuck points. And today is part one of two. We're going to be looking at infancy through adolescence today. And then on Monday, we're going to pick up with early adulthood lead adolescence through old age. And one of the things I really want you to think about during this is, you know, the clients we're working with a lot of us work with adults and not so much with children. But things that happen in childhood, things that fail to occur in childhood development developmental things that may not have happened. Don't have to continue to negatively influence people in, in their adulthood. We can help them kind of reparent themselves, if you will. So we're going to talk about ways that we can help parents prevent these problems, but also help parents or help adults who are experiencing issues sort of address those issues to mitigate problems because we can't change the past. We can't give them the warden June Cleaver childhood. And so what can we do to help them improve the next moment and live a rich and meaningful life. We're going to identify the major psychosocial milestones for each age group. And we're going to talk a lot more about the psychosocial stuff than the biological, but we're going to hit on the biological just a smidge. So you kind of can put everything into perspective and think of your, your children, your grandchildren, you know, the kid down the street, or maybe your clients in terms of what they're going through. Learn about things that may thwart development, identify protective factors for healthy development and conceptualize behaviors as goal driven in order to better understand their purpose and provide appropriate redirection. So when we're looking at youth who are engaging in maybe early sexual behaviors, you know, let's look at that as goal driven. What is the function of that? And it may be to get acceptance and to compensate for, if you will, low self esteem. It may be for a variety of other reasons, but we want to look at that instead of saying this is a bad behavior. We want to say this is a functional behavior. How is it functioning and what, what went wrong? What do we need to help this person do to live a, a life that's probably going to be less fraught with problematic behaviors. So infancy milestones.  And the answer is a big gigantic, yes it does. Between zero and one, children master the use of their hands, start crawling, respond to familiar words, discover voices. They rely on parents for comfort to meet their basic needs. Now this is a really important point. Children, babies have five different cries. And each one means something a little bit different. I'm hungry. I'm cold. My diaper's wet. And you begin to learn that with your own child what that sounds like.  And this is the way the child starts learning to communicate and trust his own needs.  They don't know what hunger is, but they get this feeling.  The problem comes in when the parent is unable or unwilling. Generally it's unable to differentiate the child's needs and stuff. So response to everything with a pacifier or a bottle or just puts them in their bed and you know, cry it out. Then the child's like, you know, this isn't helping me meet my needs. I can't trust myself to be able to communicate to you and I can't trust you to meet my needs and make the pain or discomfort go away. So infancy is a real big issue and Erickson referred to it as the period of trust versus mistrust. The child starts developing a secure attachment to the caregiver and this is the period where those initial relationships off of which all future relationships are likely going to be based. This is when they start to be developed. This is the first secure attachment. So in order for an attachment to be secure, there has to be compassionate, consistent meeting of the child's needs. This is also when a child learns to trust in his or herself to properly interpret signals and get their needs met and a little bit of self-efficacy here. You know, obviously they're infants, they're not really thinking whether I can or I can't. But a child who regularly, an infant who regularly fails to get their needs met will start feeling hopeless and helpless. And from a Piagetan perspective, object permanence develops and this is another big one. Now think about kids whose parents are psychologically unavailable, but they just, they withdraw into their room. You know, they're not even physically present. For a child of this age, when somebody disappears, you can't see them anymore, they're gone forever. You know, that concept of you can put a toy under the blanket and the child won't realize the toy's still there until they're a little bit older. Same thing applies for humans. So when we put kids down for their nap and we walk out the door in the child's mind, we've gone to never, neverland. We've gone away. So when children cry or call out or whatever, and we consistently respond and come back through that door, they may not realize that we haven't gone away and come back, but they start developing a confidence that we're going to be able to be there to meet their needs. Towards the end of this period, object permanence develops, they realize that, hey, mom doesn't actually go away, she's going to come back. They may not, you know, again, still really conceptualize where you go, but they're confident that you're going to come back. They're able to figure out the things that go below a blanket come back.  It doesn't mean when something disappears, it's gone forever. Attachment is the quality of a relationship with the caregiver characterized by trust, safety and security. The quality of the infant parent attachment is a powerful predictor of child's later social and emotional outcome. So this infancy period is so crucial. And unfortunately, this is also when we've got postpartum depression. This is also when we've got a lot of other things that may distract. We've got parents who just don't understand because kids don't come with instruction manuals. They don't understand how to meet kids' needs. When I worked in community mental health, one of the units that I ran was a mother baby unit. And I remember when I first took over the unit, one of my first changes from the way it had been run was to insist, insist that the parents, the mothers not put their child in the swing in front of the TV eight hours a day. Yes, they were in therapy, they were doing group and stuff. But we needed to allow the children to be on the floor to explore, to play, to use their muscles. And I didn't want them with an electronic babysitter. I wanted them interacting with their parents and teaching the parents how to be consistently responsive to that child's needs. Because a lot of these women never experienced that themselves. So they didn't even have that to go with to know how to interact with the child in a way that that was going to produce a secure relationship. So there was a lot of frustration and angst when they learned that they weren't going to be able to use the swings as much. Secure attachment or attachment in general, attachment style is determined by the caregiver's response to the infant. When the infant's attachment system, their threat response system basically is activated when they're hungry, when they're scared, when they're sleepy. When something is needed because they can't propel themselves, they can't put themselves to bed, they can't get food, they can't change the diapers. So when they have a need and they send out one of those five cries, does the caregiver respond appropriately and compassionately? Beginning at about six months old, infants come to anticipate caregivers responses to their distress and shape their behaviors accordingly. So if a caregiver has not been responsive, the child is less likely to be consolable or to even cry out. They may just be like, you know, whatever this caregiver is not going to respond. So, you know, it doesn't matter what I do. So the children start developing strategies for dealing with distress in the presence of that caregiver. So even at six months old, children are starting to learn how to shape their behavior in response to the people and the environment. A sensitive, responsive loving caregiver is going to produce a secure attachment.  They're not sensitive to the different types of needs.  Or an inconsistent caregiver who sometimes is there when they're emotionally available or when they're sober, and sometimes just kind of sits on the couch and looks at the kid like, I can't do it. And that can produce an insecure attachment that can produce a child who doesn't know how to trust another person for safety and security and doesn't know how to trust themselves or their own instincts. Attachment continues through childhood, but formative attachment relationships are those developed in infancy. So why are we so concerned secure attachment helps children learn basic trust, which serves as the basis for all future emotional relationships. This helps them develop fulfilling intimate relationships later on in life and maintain emotional balance when they feel like they're scared. And they know that they if they cry out because they're scared, they're going to have someone come and comfort them. It's a lot easier to deal with the stress than if they get scared and they're like, I know nobody's there to help me and I'm just flopping out here in the wind. It helps them feel confident and good about themselves. Like I said, even early on, when children voice their needs, even if it's in the form of one of those five cries, and they get their needs met, it gives them a sense of, self-efficacy. They enjoy being with others. They can rebound from disappointment and loss because again, remember secure attachments when the child, when something happens, the child gets upset.  Well, that's a disappointment for them. They're probably not really hurt, but if a parent goes over and comforts them and encourages them to try again, it helps them start learning how to rebound from disappointment and loss. And they learn how to share their feelings and seek support. At one, at six months, they're not coming up to you going, I am feeling really upset today. They're cranky. They are irritable. They are sad. They are sullen. They are withdrawn. Whatever the, however the child is acting, if the parent is sensitive to it and is able to try to meet that child's needs and figure out what's going on, which can be a guessing game sometimes. But it still helps the child know that they, if they share their feelings, know that there's somebody there that will give them support. So we really want to look at in adult relationships or in adults who didn't have secure attachment growing up. How do we help them? We want to help them become mindful of what are your needs. When you're an infant, maybe those needs weren't met. Maybe you were told that your needs didn't matter, even as an older child. So now let's start being mindful. Let's start paying attention to what your needs are. And let's look at why those needs are important. Why is it important to take care of yourself when you're exhausted? Why is it important to take care of yourself when you need comfort and support? You know, is that weakness or is that being strong, knowing that it's okay to ask for comfort, comforting and support from others? So we want to help people really start looking at what they were supposed to develop in this initial secure relationship and develop that secure relationship with their own internal parent. Their own internal self that says it's okay to be sad right now. So yes, they've got to sometimes do some reparenting and play split roles. But ideally, once they start learning how to reparent themselves and do all this stuff that ideally a parent would have done, they can start communicating that to others. When they need a hug, they can say they need a hug. When they're exhausted, they can identify, you know what? I'm really tired today. I just can't do that. They can start setting boundaries and getting their needs met in healthy appropriate ways. More effects of secure attachment. People who are securely attached explore the environment with feelings of safety and security, which leads to healthy intellectual and social development. So people who don't have this may be really timid. They may not go for promotions. They may not interview for jobs that may be a little bit outside their scope. They may be afraid to reach out and try to make friends with people because they're afraid of rejection. So if they're not secure, children who have a secure relationship have a base to go back to. You know, if they go out there and they have a failure, it is not pleasant, but they know they can go back to home base where there's comfort and security and kind of regroup and figure out what to do next. If they didn't have that, then they're out there, they have a failure or an unpleasant event and they're just kind of like flopping in the wind. So we want to encourage people as adults again to encourage themselves to explore the environment to be willing to be open to relationships and encourage them to look at the successes they've had and learn how to accept failure and nurture themselves. The secure attachment helps people develop the ability to control their behavior resulting in effective management of impulses and emotions. If you're getting your needs met as they come up instead of stuffing them all down until you're just like one big pit of neediness, then you're going to have more energy to deal with life on life's terms. So if you're getting enough sleep, if you're eating well, if you're taking care of yourself, if you've got positive relationships, if you are, when you have something go wrong and you need help, you ask for assistance instead of, you know, carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. It's going to be easier to manage impulses and emotions when something bad happens because you've got that energy freed up. You're not still trying to juggle 16 things from last week that you haven't dealt with yet. So living mindfully, living true to oneself is really important to encourage in clients. Secure attachments create a foundation for the development of identity, which includes a sense of capability, self-worth, and a balance between dependence and independence. Now each one of those characteristics can be an entire session or group in and of itself, but that self-efficacy is really important. The ability to control one's own body and get one's needs met, those are the basic developmental tasks of infancy and early childhood. Self-worth is being loved and being able to be loved for what you need. If you've got a rejecting parent or caregiver, then the child may start to feel that they are not worthy of love.  The child may start to experience a lowering of self-worth because the parent doesn't even want to be around them. And develop that balance between dependence and independence. Dependence relies on you being able to trust somebody else, being dependent on their health and those sorts of things. Interdependence is what we talk about in our groups. Dependence, independence, and interdependence is kind of the middle of the continuum. So we talk about what independence means and how to be independent, make decisions, etc. But how we also need other people to be supportive, to be our cheerleaders. Because we were kind of created to be affiliative, if that's a word, when we weren't created to live in isolation. Culturally, it's going to vary. Some cultures are very interdependent. And some cultures focus more on independence, but to the best of my knowledge, there's no culture that is completely independent, where people are just supposed to grow up, move out, and live by themselves forever. Secure attachments establish a moral framework that leads to empathy, compassion, and conscience. So we can start helping people develop empathy for others at this point. Generate a core set of beliefs and provide a defense against stress and trauma. Stuck points, if the child doesn't have basic food, shelter, safety, love needs met, they may never be able to trust others. Well, I won't say never because they can address that in their own therapy and personal development as they go. But lack of getting those needs met will cause an inability to trust self or others. Reliance on others will be required to tell them what they need because if they can't trust themselves, then they're just like, they're looking for others for validation, for direction. There's a lot of dependence that's created. They may lack a sense of worthiness for basics and not feel like they're worth asking for help, feel like they're worth taking care of themselves. They may have discomfort with and or a craving for attention. So they may be uncomfortable getting a lot of attention, but at the same time, there's a part of them that really wants to be loved. And they can express irritability and anxiety. So what do we need to do? We want to encourage them and as clinicians, whatever role you want to put yourself in here, we want to model consistency. We want to encourage them to be consistent with themselves. We want to model care and understanding and ensuring basic needs are met. So we want to go over with the clients and ensure that they are paying attention to their needs. Compassion, being calm and accepting of the child's emotions and needs. Well, okay, that's what a parent can do as clinicians. We can be calm and accepting of the adult emotions and needs and we can teach them to be calm and accepting of their own emotions and needs instead of saying, I shouldn't feel this way or I shouldn't need this. Say, it is what it is. What's the next step. And providing compassionate redirection, add don't just subtract, especially with infants. If we're talking about prevention, when you tell an infant, no, when you take something away from them, when you won't let them do something. Okay, but what do they do because they don't have this big repertoire of behaviors. So we don't always want to just take away something. So if you're not going to do this, what else can you do? If you're not supposed to be climbing on the TV and taking down mommy's knick-knacks, what can you do?  So they have something to play with and they can explore, but it's something safe. When we're talking about adults, when they start doing something that is harmful to themselves, whether it's drinking or binge eating or whatever it is they're doing. Encourage them to look at that. And if they decide that that's not a helpful behavior. Okay, what are you going to do instead? What need is that behavior meeting? You know, it's goal-driven. Is it helping you address stress, loneliness, low self-esteem? What need is it meeting? And how can you do it in a way that's more helpful and meaningful to you? Toddlers, work on autonomy versus shame and doubt. This is our potty training period. They develop personal control over physical skills and their body. This is when, I mean, think back to toddlers. They want to start dressing themselves. They want to start, well, sometimes they want to start potty training and they learn that word no. And they like that word no, especially when they're saying it, not so much when it's being said to them. Through age seven, they think symbolically about things. So when they play, they can use little dolls and now they can see this little doll as mom instead of just little dolly. And they can pretend play so they can think more symbolically and begin to understand the concept of past and future. You know, think about when grandma came the last time. Now she's going to come like that again next week. So they can start conceptualizing on a timeline and they continue to develop secure attachments. During this period, overly permissive or overly strict parents can kind of thwart development if the child doesn't learn how to. Toilet train as effect as quickly as parents want to child's children can develop shame if they make a mistake and they have an accident in their pants. They can feel too much pressure. I mean, think back to Freud and animal retentiveness and all that other stuff. So we know that there's something that goes on here. I like to look at the more, more along the Ericksonian level where they're establishing competence over their over their own body. This is also the age when they start becoming picky, picky or eaters and what they don't want to eat. And as parents, you know, we can't necessarily tell them, well, you don't have to eat any of that. You can have Cheerios for every meal. Well, that doesn't work. That's not a healthy diet. So it's important even with a two and three year old that we set some limits to make sure they stay healthy and keep doing positive health behaviors. But also to allow them a little bit of wiggle room and this is where we can, we can start negotiating with them a little bit. They have to eat a certain amount of vegetables to get their, to get their dessert or whatever it is. And we want to encourage children by providing praise for exploration and experimentation. If they try a bite of something that they've never tried before, provide copious praise. Even if it's something that they should like anyway, you know, it's still something new. So we want to make sure that they get that if they try doing something new. Physically, maybe throwing a ball or whatever they're doing, providing praise, even if they don't do it great. If they try, if they're exploring, that's what we want to encourage at this point because they've got to start trying things before they can figure out what they like and what they're good at. If they don't experience this and overly permissive parents, the children may kind of run rampant and, and become like I said, they may eat Cheerios every day. And, you know, might not engage in health, helpful behavior, so they don't learn what they need to in order to be healthy, overly strict parents. They can start feeling ashamed if they don't do things perfectly, but they also may not learn to think for themselves. They may continue to rely on parents to tell them what to do, when to do it and how to do it. So what happens if they don't have a perfect toddler hood? They can, more than always, develop low self-esteem and a need for external validation and a lack of motivation. If parents are overly permissive and not don't provide a lot of reward and encouragement, or if they are overly strict and very stifling, both of these can have an effect on motivation. So what do we want to do? We want to encourage the child to explore and experiment.  And that's okay. And this is where children really start learning that failure is a learning opportunity. Failure is maybe a learning opportunity. It's not the way to do it or not something you ever want to do again. But it's a learning opportunity and it doesn't mean anything negative about them. We want to praise the child for working with children, for trying, even if they fail. And if it's an adult, encourage them to give themselves kudos for giving it the old school try, even if they fail. You know, I'm almost 50 and I still don't know how to ride a two wheel bike. But I've gotten on and I've tried before and it's been pretty disastrous, but at least I tried. And now I've just decided that it's not that important to my future goals to learn how to ride a two wheeler. But it's important to be able to look at things like that. And I mean, a lot of people are like, you don't know how to ride a bike. I'm like, nope, never had one. So we all have different things that we've explored, experimented, tried, had access to. And it's important that people know that they're not going to be perfect and that they're loved for who they are, not for what they can or can't do. So our unconditional positive regard really starts coming in. Infancy, toddler hood and early childhood really rogerian in terms of parenting. We want to provide that support, encouragement and positive redirection and unconditional positive regard for the person. And if they didn't get that, then we need to teach them how to do that now. Preschool is the initiative versus guilt stage, according to Erickson where they start to certain control and power over the environment. Too much disapproval can result in guilt. So this is when they're going to school, they're trying to make friends, they're trying to do new things. And they're testing limits, four to six year olds test limits. And we have to set limits. But there's also a place for approval. We want to make sure that we're providing approval for things they do well. And ideally not resorting to just the no because I said so. When we provide disapproval explaining to them why that's not okay. It's not okay because it's not safe. It's not just not okay. So they can understand that you're not disapproving of them. You're trying to protect them in some way. Preschoolers live in a magical world where inanimate objects are alive and dreams are real. So it can be a challenge to differentiate in this group truth versus fiction. When you start asking them, you know, who broke the lamp or tell me about what happened at school today. You can get some children who are very fantasy oriented. So needing to bring it back down. I remember at this age, my son had, he thought he had, well, he, he wished he had poof up powers. And he would tell me that if he had poof up powers, he would poof up and he was really into Star Wars at this point. And a millennium Falcon and he would poof up this and poof up that. And this was, you know, his creativity. And I would regularly remind him that poof up powers weren't real. Just for my own sanity. But, you know, I think most children are pretty clear. But there's, you know, we want to check in with them periodically to make sure that they remember, you know, not everything you see on TV is actually safe to do. They have trouble distinguishing between appearances and reality. So the parenting challenge at this point is helping them realize that even things that look safe may be very dangerous. So helping them learn safe versus danger. And again, truth versus fiction, take them to a magic show and they see a woman just disappear into thin air. Is that truth or is that fiction? And helping them differentiate what's actually happening. They can focus on one aspect of a situation, centration, but struggle to see other vantage points. So what they see their way is the only way. And I think we can all think back two times when we've kind of felt that way. And we've worked with clients whose main form of thinking was this way. The highway or the highway, I'm right about everything and I can't see anybody else's perspective. So the parenting challenge here is to encourage children to find their voice, to be able to articulate and state what their perspective is, but not be a bully and be able to hear other people's perspectives and learn, learn or take in from them and maybe say, oh, yeah, I see what you're talking about. And this will help them make better choices in terms of interpersonal skills. Children at this age typically love to play make believe. So with the parents, sometimes it's a challenge to find our make belief. I had a really hard time finding my make believe when I was, you know, had young children at home, because that's just not what we do on a day to day basis. So having the tea parties and playing the fairy princess and those things just and children pick up on that if you're not engaged in it. So try to find your make believe, but if you can't, then redirect, you know, what else can we do that the child likes and try to understand what children are communicating. Through their play. And a lot of times it is exactly what the manifest content appears to be.  But sometimes, you know, if a child is displaying aggressive tendencies in their, in their play, we may want to investigate what that means. Preschoolers love to ask questions to both learn facts as well as to interact with others. So some of the parenting challenges at this age are do not get impatient with the mommy why is the sky blue. Why is the dog black. Why are why does six different color kittens come from one mama cat. I don't genetics pundit squares, but not getting impatient with their curiosity. The nice thing is now that we've got Google and Alexa, we can look it up. Whereas back in the olden days, we just had to say, I don't know, next time we go to the library, we can check that out. Help children learn how to answer their own questions. Help them learn how to look it up in a book or figure out where the answer is and learn to self regulate in mutual conversations so they don't dominate a conversation or likewise. So they're not just sitting there going, uh-huh, uh-huh, and not carrying on their own end. So these are things preschool children learn if preschool children were withdrawn for some reason or overly aggressive and kind of bullish. They may not have learned effective interpersonal skills so we can help adults start to learn those preschoolers use everyday objects in conventional and unconventional purposes. So we want to honor their creativity in the right time and the right place. You know, you may find that they're using your, uh, your best pasta pot as a hat as they're walking down having a parade. Um, but we also want to get outside the box and encourage them if they want to have a fort, but it's 12 degrees outside. How can you build a fort in the house? Let's get it outside the box. Is it couch cushions? Do we have an old box somewhere? Um, what can you do? They're also little scientists trying to see what will happen, such as, wow, what will happen if I drop my ball of Play-Doh into the aquarium? Let's check it out and they don't have a stop between. I wonder if I should do this. It's just like, oh, I'd be curious to find out. So they make test rules and boundaries. So parenting challenges here can include cleaning the aquarium and being consistent when children try things, developing rules. You know, before you try something, why don't you ask for mommy's help or call me because I'd love to see what would happen. That way we can always intervene if we need to, um, to help children stay safe. But we also still want to encourage that exploration. Children at this stage crave structure. So if they don't have structure, they may act out in order to get boundaries and limits placed upon them. They may act out for other reasons. So again, we want to ask in this situation with this child, what does this behavior mean? But we need, as parents, to provide structure and consistency and steadfastness with adults. They'll, you know, as adults, they're running their own lives. They are going to set the amount of structure that's comfortable for them. But you want to encourage them to be true to themselves in how much structure they need. Some people don't need much, but some people start to get really stressed if they don't have a lot of structure. So encouraging them to figure out what do they need in order to have the highest quality of life. The AJA uses the term pre-operational to describe the reasoning patterns typical of children in this age group. They're easily fooled by appearances. So it's up to us as parents to remind them that appearances can be deceiving and not everything happens the way you expect. As if you're working with an adult, this is where you start introducing dialectical thinking, the both and. Can it appear to be a wonderful thing and be not a good choice for you? Yes, it can. So encouraging people to think dialectically. Preschool children often have difficulty putting into words how they feel or what's going on inside. So parents need to pay attention to nonverbal and verbal cues and help children label their feelings. If they're angry or if you think they're angry, seems like you're really angry right now. And teach children to check in with themselves periodically. How are they doing? How are they feeling? Are they sleepy? Are they overwhelmed? Are they overstimulated as my son used to stay? And what do they need to do about it? And, you know, a lot of times when my son was this age, I would ask him, what do you need to do about it? And if he didn't know, then I could provide information or suggestions. But I wanted him to start thinking about, okay, when I feel this way, what do I need to do? Children begin using strategies for remembering, but they often use inappropriate and ineffective strategies. So as parents, it's important for us to continue to differentiate truth from fiction and identify intentional lying from ineffective recall. Now they probably remember if they broke the lamp, but they may not remember if they brushed their teeth. Interferences overly strict in meshed parents and in meshed parents and lack of encouragement to take risks. So the manifestations are a low self-esteem, need for external validation, difficulty making or maintaining friends, and being unclear about what they like, want, and feel because they've never had that really encouraged. They've never been encouraged to explore that. So we want to encourage the child or the adult who's reparenting, encourage them to explore and experiment, figure out what interests them, encourage them to praise themselves or praise the child for trying even if they fail, reassure the person that they're loved for who they are, that unconditional positive regard, and encourage children to develop friendships with a variety of people. So thinking about what we've talked about so far, what other things can we do to help people become mindful, live authentically, and improve their self-esteem? That's really what early childhood is about. And I mean, there's also development of coping skills. Okay, so moving on to middle childhood, well early childhood, seven to 12 years. Industry versus inferiority. And Erickson's stages, the way he labeled them, didn't necessarily always make it to me, but this is when the child is coping with new academic and social development and is developing a sense of confidence and efficacy. Is he industrious? Is he able to do what he sets his mind to? Is he able to make a change, make a difference in his or her little aspect of the world? Cognitively, thinking becomes less egocentric. They start becoming more able to take other people's perspectives and begin to realize that their thoughts and feelings are unique. So let's ask what other people think. And it's the beginning of logical thought, A plus B equals C, and they're starting to see consequences. If I do this, then this is going to happen. Age eight is a milestone across cultures and children are perceived by adults as having attained a new level of competence at this age and are often permitted to be on their own more often. So the parenting challenge here is creating a safe, stable environment for youth to fledge. Now these dimensions were created many, many, many, many years ago. So these ages slide up and down a little bit depending on the state of the world and things. But age eight is typically a milestone where kids are allowed to spend more time on their own without parental direct oversight. I'm not saying leaving them home alone, just spending time independently. They acquire the logical reasoning associated with concrete operations. Unfortunately, in life, not all things are logical. So sometimes we have to work with children to help them think dialectically and accept the fact that this is illogical but is still true. Children begin to use advanced strategies when they learn new material. They gain much from teachers who help them cultivate useful strategies for learning. So identify your child's temperament. If you're an adult, identify your own temperament and learn how you most effectively learn through hearing, through seeing, through doing, and try to arrange your environment that way. So you have, you're meeting your needs in the most effective way. So I've mentioned it before, effective teaching, effective learning by Alice Fairhurst is a great tool to use to help learn how to educate or interact with people of different temperaments, especially if you're a supervisor or a teacher or even a counselor. They're able to be fairly logical and organized when working on problems with concrete objects, but that abstract stuff, not so well. So this is where manipulatives are usually really helpful. They have difficulty dealing with abstractions, hypothetical situations and multiple variables. So it's helpful for parents to work with children on conceptualizing hypotheticals, the what if. You're going over to Sam's this weekend to go swim in the pool. And so what do you need to bring with you your swimsuit sunscreen, but what if it starts to rain, hypothetically, you get over there and it starts to rain or the pool is broken. What are you going to do, and do you need to bring something else with you. And teaching children how to organize and solve multi variable problems. And so you're going to your grandparents house and this is generally where we start with multi very variable problems.  So what different types of clothes do you need to bring with you. Helping them kind of conceptualize and organize perspective taking skills increase. And as parents, we can help children continue to take another perspective. And ask them, you know, how do you think Johnny felt when you took his chair from him or how do you think you would feel if Johnny took your chair from you. You know, sometimes you got to turn it back around to help them really grasp that empathy concept, but empathy is coming out. School age children acquire a relatively stable and comprehensive understanding of self. So we can help them appreciate their physical character characteristics, some are going to be taller, some are going to be shorter, you know, appreciate who they are, and, you know, kind of fight the mass media support children and exploring their values and reactions to things. Sometimes their reactions will be right on par with yours, sometimes they will be different. So encouraging them to share with you their values and reactions, and how they arrived at those. So you can discuss them openly and encourage them to make educated decisions. And, you know, sometimes they have a very, you know, spot on informed point of view and it's like, okay, cool. And you can agree to disagree or you may change your point of view. Children acquire a set of standards and expectations with respect to dealing with others. The formation of friendships and close affiliations with peers is a hallmark of this period. So this is middle school time we're talking about. As parents, we can help children to find a realistic and healthy set of standards and expectations to live by and to deal with others by. People aren't going to be perfect. Nobody is going to keep every promise that they make, most likely. So encouraging them to look at that and also encouraging them to take other perspectives. You know, if their best friend was supposed to come over this weekend and cancel at the last minute, does it mean that their best friend isn't their best friend anymore? Or does it mean that their best friend had something else going on they had to go do? So encouraging them, you know, like I've always, like I've said many times before, give me three other explanations for why this might have happened besides it being about you. And identify in yourself what standards and expectations you model for your child. So if you want children to grow up to be responsible, dependable people, then we need to model that ourselves. There's a new appreciation of authority and interest in understanding and abiding by the rules. So our challenge is to have an explanation for every rule and not fall back on the because I said so. And pick your battles. And I'm learning this over and over and over again, and even into teenage years. Pick your battles because there are going to be plenty to come. Which ones are necessary in order to help the child continue to develop? There's a reciprocal relationship between cognitive development and social interaction and interpersonal effectiveness. So if you have a child that's lagging in one of these areas, if they're cognitively lagging for some reason, intellectually at school, you know, struggling, or socially, interpersonally, if they are lagging in their ability to communicate feelings or develop relationships, we need to address because they found that there's a reciprocal interaction in these areas. Interferences, lack of consistent support and encouragement, even with failure, and lack of successes. I mean, we can give support and encouragement, but we also need to make sure that we help set children up for successes where they can look back and go, I did that, not just go out, skin and knee, come back, try again. If they don't have these successes and they don't have consistent support, they may have low self-esteem and lack motivation. So we want to encourage the child to develop skills in areas in which he can excel. You know, not just those areas, but when they try something and they seem to be good at it, encourage them to explore that. So they start knowing that they're good at some things, and there are going to be other things that come up like algebra or calculus that they may not be good at. But then they can look and say, well, I'm not good at this, but I am good at these things. Praise children for trying even if and when they fail, and reassure that children are loved for who they are. Again, want to do this with adults too. In adolescence, we're really developing identity at this point, and it's confusing, and it is chaotic. Successes lead to the development of a sense of self and personal identity. So what they're successful at, they're going, okay, I can do that, so I'm a good cook. I am a, you know, I can do this, I can do that. So these are starting to be the roles that I can take on. Failures provide an opportunity for learning coping skills and compassion.  So developing self-compassion when they experience failure. During this time, youth are developing the ability to think about abstract concepts and logically test hypotheses. Sometimes it's, if I sneak out my bedroom window, are my parents going to catch me? And that's, you know, it's adolescent thinking 101, but they're going to test limits and they're going to test hypotheses. Can I pass this test if I don't study for it? I'm sure most adolescents try that one. Interferences in the development of identity and a strong self-esteem. Lack of support for individual wants needs and goals. Youth during this period will go through phases. Most youth go through phases where their parents are just kind of cringing going, oh my gosh. I know both of my children went through phases like that where I was kind of grit in my teeth because it was their independence showing wasn't what I would have chosen. But, you know, wanted them to work through it and decide whether that was something they were going to embrace or move on, because it wasn't harmful to them. So I needed to support them for being an individual. Lack of stable, consistent, positive relationship. So it's important during this period, not only with the parents, but that they also have friendships that are stable, consistent and positive. And it doesn't have to be 17 friendships. It can be one or two. And those one or two are going to have hiccups. So stable is kind of relative, you know, but somebody that they can consider a confidant. We want to make sure that they have successes in things that they do. And they get educations about and opportunities to develop coping life and interpersonal effectiveness skills. Most of you know that I homeschool both of my children.  And as K-12 and online schooling becomes much more prominent, it's going to become more important to remind parents that children need to get out and experience, have the ability to experience other teens and other youth and develop their interpersonal effectiveness skills as mobile devices and texting have taken over. People have lost a lot of interpersonal skills. They don't know how to look at one another eye to eye and have a conversation as much anymore. They become very anxious. Social anxiety is going way up right now. So it's important, you know, culturally right now. What I'm what I'm saying is it's important to make sure that you have face to face opportunities for interaction and are able, even if it's on social media, they have it opportunities to develop coping and life skills to deal with stuff they see that they don't like stuff that's triggering. Okay, it's triggering. How do you deal with it? Manifestations still low self-esteem and lack of motivation. So what do we do? Encourage the person to develop skills and areas in which he can excel. Provide support when the child's world seems chaotic. Now, if you're working with an adult who didn't develop a secure identity in early adolescent or in adolescents, we want to encourage them to figure out where could you get support? Where can you fall back to? Where is your safe home base when life seems a little bit chaotic? Who can you rely on? And as clinicians, we may be part of that support network initially, but we want to encourage them to reach out to other people and develop a support net. And I encourage people to have three or four people in their life that they can rely on and sometimes they can't rely on them for the same things. But they need to have support. Identify and help people learn how to identify and set smart goals. Specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time limited. Smart goals will set them up for success, which will set them up for increased self-esteem and self-efficacy. But a lot of people really stink at goal setting. Have them start out telling you how to do something they know how to do, like bake a cake or rebuild an engine or change the oil in your car. That's a goal. And then have them tell you step by step how to get there and then say, okay, now let's do that with something else that you want to do, like get your degree. What's the first thing you need to do? And help them see that it's not as complicated as they may be making it. Remind them that they are loved for who they are, not for what they do. For being good, honest, helpful people, those values that they find so important, that's who they are. It doesn't have anything to do with what they can do, whether they can bake, whether they can drive, whether they can sing the national anthem.  We want to be able to model this and reinforce it. When clients use them and encourage opportunities for the development of interpersonal skills, whether it's, you know, if you're working with a client, encouraging them to go out on social outings, having support groups or various different types of, you know, peer led support groups, maybe hosted at your facility. In order to encourage people to develop relationships and interact and develop those interpersonal skills. So, preventative protective factors include parental involvement. So if the parent wasn't involved and you've gotten an adult who, you know, is struggling because they didn't accomplish some of these tasks, how can they do that? Well, they need to tap into their inner parent. And, you know, a lot of people back in the 70s and stuff talked about the inner child. Well, you've got an inner parent too. Think about it, you know, remember Bugs Bunny's Angel and Devil on the shoulder. Encourage the person to tap into their inner parent and tell themselves what they wish they would have had a parent telling them when they were growing up. You know, what do you wish a parent would have done for you when this happened? You know, what do you wish if you had a parent here right now, what do you wish they would do for you? Parental consistency. Again, if we're working with parents, encouraging them to take the time, if they're going to set a rule, they need to enforce it consistently. Otherwise, the child will learn ways to manipulate it. So being consistent also tells the child that, you know, you're worth the attention and the effort. For the adult, encouraging them to be consistent with themselves. And they're going to make mistakes sometimes and they're going to fall back into self-defeating patterns. But be consistent in their compassion for themselves, picking themselves back up and going, okay, let's learn from this and move on. Connection to positive adults and peers. So it's important, you know, regardless of the age to have positive relationships and ideally get involved in community organizations. It can be volunteering, it can be church, it can be whatever. But so there's a connection to the community. It can be helping out at work if you really enjoy your job and you want to be there on your time off. So you have a sense of connection and meaning in some of the things that you do. Develop a positive view of self and future. So looking at identifying those things that are important in your life and those people that are important in your life. And where do you see yourself a year, five years from now? What does it look like? How do you see yourself as a happy person five years from now? And people need exposure to and development of coping skills. You know, to this day when I'm working on different presentations, I occasionally come across a new approach that I'd never heard of before. And I'm like, oh, well, that sounds cool. I mean, mindfulness has been around for a long time, but has really only come to the mainstream over the past 10 years or so, I think. And this is something that is so helpful with a lot of our clients. So encouraging adults to even go and explore what are some new ways that might be out there that can help me deal with anxiety, depression, social anxiety, etc. Develop interpersonal effectiveness skills. Most of us have some very few of us have perfect interpersonal effectiveness skills. There's always ways we can learn to interact and interface with other people so we can develop more empathy and be more understanding and open. And life skills, including goal setting and time management. These are things that unfortunately aren't taught in a lot of schools and a lot of people just don't know how to do them. So these will help reduce stress and anxiety and a lot of our clients. Behaviors represent the person's best attempt to meet a need, such as love to prevent rejection and isolation or security or control of self, the environment or the situation in order to prevent rejection, failure and loss of control. Identifying the need and alternatives to meet that same need often helps people eliminate inappropriate or harmful behaviors. Are there any questions? Hi everybody, have an awesome, amazing weekend and I will see you on Tuesday for part two. And part two is really cool in some ways because we're not talking about parenting as much. We're talking about the clients that we see for the most part and I learned some really interesting things that, you know, some on the more depressing side, but some really interesting things that spurred some creative intervention juices spinning around in my head. So hopefully we can have fun with that presentation on Tuesday. If you enjoy this podcast, please like and subscribe either in your podcast player or on YouTube. You can attend and participate in our live webinars with Dr. Snipes by subscribing at allceus.com slash counselor toolbox. This episode has been brought to you in part by allceus.com providing 24-7 multimedia continuing education and pre-certification training to counselors, therapists and nurses since 2006.


How would you describe going five and one on a trip that going into a lot of people saw might be season defining for you guys? Good, I guess, you know, I wish it was, I wish it was six, you know, you really didn't do what we came to do. But, you know, we went out there, we played some tough opponents and some big, meaningful games. You know, it wasn't, wasn't a postseason game, but it definitely had the atmosphere and the feel and everything goes into a postseason game.  And what kind of a boost do you feel that your home run in the first inning gave you guys?  And I know he got out on the same thing with Rizzle, you know, just going up there and, you know, an aggressive mindset.  And I think it kind of, you know, just kind of pumped everybody up in the dugout. It got me excited, you know, kind of sitting there watching. And, you know, I think it kind of all starts with those two guys. And then what are your thoughts going home for a three game series against the Rizzle and a chance to clinch tomorrow?  We've got to keep going.  And, you know, we want that home for the manager. Brian, hope you have the next question. Aaron, that first home run went to a part of this ballpark that not many balls go. How do you rank that one just in terms of the long home runs you've hit over the years?  So, you know, when I made contact with that one, I didn't know if I hit it too high and it wasn't going to go out. So I kind of really didn't enjoy it too much, you know, so I'll have to check the replay.


Okay, well, we have the full board. So, or just about full board. So I'm gonna call the meeting to order. This is a regular schedule meeting of the down to Berlin Development and View Board. We have one application tonight, which is connected circles LLC. It's for a change of use. We have several representatives from the applicant. I'm gonna ask everyone that intends to give testimony before this board tonight to please raise your right hand. I swear to tell the truth. Raise your hand. This is if you tend to give testimony. So raise your right hand. Do you swear to tell the truth? Nothing but truth that matters before this board tonight. I do. I love you. Chris, I suit your hand as an air. It is. Thank you. Who is going to start the presentation for the application? Chris. Chris. Yes. Chris, I think you're on. Okay. Yeah. So connected circles, these folks can speak better to exactly their mission and their purpose than I can. But in essence, they're an educational facility, outfit working for with kids who need a little bit different approach in the typical public school setting. They're intending to occupy the space formally of the, I went by several names, I guess, but it was a significant daycare in the facility. Had previously had 50 students and 10 educators in the daycare facility. It was a project that we worked with, that we at Chase and Chase worked with, with Bernie Shannette on both the sewers disposal and the, what is a public water supply system with those count numbers for the whole daycare back several years ago. But essentially they're going to occupy the same space and have a very, very similar mission. And after looking at the definitions, the distinction between a daycare and an educational facility in the ordinance, there's not much. So I think it's safe to say that from the purposes of a conditional use review for the either, either or daycare or education facility being a conditional use in the zone, not a permitted use that relative to conditional use or use criteria, the impacts are very similar to the point of being indistinguishable. Because the numbers are much lower here with 10 students and 14 educators, the impacts are reduced. Simple as that, the traffic, although we haven't generated any specific counts of what should be anticipated for the 50 student daycares, it should be fairly apparent to the board that the numbers here with 10 kids and 14 teachers is going to be much lower from a traffic standpoint than what was previously being operated on a facility. I don't know if the board would like, if you'd like to go through, Craig Chase provided some written testimony addressing the conditional use criteria. I don't know if you want me to go back through that here. Chris, let me stop you. Just see if any of the board members have any comments or questions at this time based on your overview. Nothing else. I actually have a question. This is Richard. I thought I understood this to be a preschool project, but you're also going to be serving older kids. And I'm sorry for not being up on my notes. Can I speak to our program a little bit more? Your name again. Okay, this is Kelly, Kelly Bushy. Hi, Richard. Fun to hear your voice on the other end of the line. Hi, Kelly. Our mission of our school, right? Our mission statement is that we provide a community where all are seen, nurtured and encouraged to embrace lifelong learning. We serve 12 students. We are approved by the State Board of Education as an approved independent school. And we are the ages of our students range from age 12 to age 22. So no, we are not serving preschool students. Okay, I guess I misunderstood. So that's good to hear your voice, Kelly. Thanks. Thank you. Should we have another person to join us? Michelle Delaney, can you? Yes. Say who you are and what relationship you have to this application? Yes, hi, thank you. Michelle Delaney, I am Chair of the Board for Connected Circles. That's an independent board, governance board? Yes, it is. I'm sorry, I did not hear what you said. This is Michelle Delaney and I am Chair of the Board for Connected Circles, which is an independent board. Okay, thank you. Any other questions by board members? Comment, comment, yeah, Carla? Me?  No, no, I don't have a question. All right. Tom, do you have anything? I'm sorry, I have another question. Richard, go ahead. And again, I don't know if this is a purview of our board. Please stop me if it's not, but my interest is what the relationship of this school will be since it will be in our backyard with a new school in Montpelio who serves another population that I think is going to be similar. And the connected with that is what is their relationship to the public schools that are feeding the school. Richard, let me answer that. I think that's a good question. However, I do think that's outside of the purview of our bylaws. That's fine. And let's just skip it. Perhaps you have to answer that, but it's really not within our bylaws. Yeah, I appreciate that. That's why I prefaced my statement. So please move on. Okay, Chris, we have a pretty good set of narrative here. If you paraphrase your narrative, I'd appreciate that. So we just sort of move on. Okay. If you just bear with me a moment because I was not the author of that narrative. Well, that's why I thought I'd ask you to do that. Yeah, you did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So as we've, as prior narrative, we've already touched on the first part of the narrative being an explanation of what Connected Circle is. The building's been used for daycare that once served the Central Vermont Hospital and then other private childcare services. The daycares were permitted for 50 children with 10 employees and the Connected Circle schools will serve the 12 students with 14 employees. We have the site plan. We've got 25 parking spaces identified. There's actually opportunities for more than that, but that was more than adequate for the project and easily demonstrated. There's lighting, there is lighting. There is some lighting provided in the parking lot existing. And along, and then the buildings and those points have been identified on the site plans. And there is a sign. The sign has simply been replaced with one of like size and same location, like size, like appearance to the sign was there for the daycare. So on the front end, there's really very, there are no changes unless the board sees something that's deficient. There's no changes proposed to the site layout. And addressing that, and I presume, Bob, you were talking about going through the actual conditional use criteria. Well, yeah, I mean, we have the narrative, but yeah, just you don't need to go through them all or just paraphrase what you have. I just, I wanna get it on the record. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as far as the capacity for the existing community facilities, they're really in utilities. As far as the utilities go, the proposal in front of the board represents a reduction in intensity of use. Although those utilities, say for the Green Mountain Power Connection are all private on-site utilities anyway. Again, the reduction intensity, reduction in traffic, that the impacts are less. There's no changes because the impacts are less. There's no changes required to the existing wastewater and potable water supply permits. And again, there's really no changes to the status quo. Relative to the traffic, again, that this proposal represents a reduction in daily traffic numbers. Simply, I would presume that a 50-child daycare would have something on the order of, well, at least 102-way trips to pick up kids, say nothing about educators at the facility. And this is definitely will be a reduction to that. The character of the area, since there really are no exterior changes, there aren't going to be any real, they're not any exterior changes and very little change in the type of use, the intent and a reduction in the intensity of use. The site is not isolated per se, but it's not exactly on top of other uses, other properties that could be impacted by this use. And we don't see any potential for any reduction in the value of adjacent properties or the ability of the adjacent properties to do further development. As far as the natural resources go, since we're not proposing any site changes and everything that is in place as duly permitted, we don't see any way to identify any negative impacts on any natural resources. Energy conservation, again, the intensity use is going down. One would expect that that reduced intensity of use would result in less energy used, not that any specific additional conservation measures are proposed here, but again, the reduction in intensity of use comes with less energy. And we don't know of any other regulation here in the town of Berlin has put forth that would have a problem that would be negatively impacted by this proposal. Again, a reduction in the intensity of use. Our site plan has demonstrated the traffic flows and there's more than ample room for snow removal. We have limited signage and limited lighting is already present on the property and no changes are proposed. And in closing, we think that what's proposed here is very much in keeping what was already there and conforms with the conditional use standards put forth by the ordinance. Okay, questions by members of the board. Tom, any questions? No, sir. I see Chip Lague has joined us. Chip, did you have an interest in this application? Oh, it's my mic on. Yes. Oh, perfect. No, it just was listening as a joiner. I've talked with the folks there and just happened to log on. No issue. I do have a question for you, Chris. It has to do with the conformance with the regulations. One of the regulations that the applicant has to conform with are the site plan regulations. And I think the only site plan regulation that concerns me a little bit is access and egress. So I don't know what the intention is in terms of access and egress for a vehicle traffic. Is that one-way traffic, two-way traffic? I'm not sure what's intended here. And obviously, the other thing that concerns me a little bit, and again, this is an existing facility. It's been there in place for a while. So I'm not proposing to change a lot, but the driveways do not meet the state standards. Yeah, I mean, you mean relative to the transition from the edge of the road up into the drives? Correct. It does not need B71B standards. Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, and I don't have an answer for that. The intent is to use it the way it has been used with the, and there are traffic direction arrows, although in the color printed, they don't show up that well. Ingress up the slope on the paved portion nearest the building, egress along the gravel portion, side of the loop, back down to airport road. As far as conformance with those regulations, with the state standards, it's my understanding that V-Trans has jurisdiction over airport road. Is that true, Tom, of that portion of airport road? It certainly is up by the airport. I believe it is, Chris. Yeah, the transition is relatively close there, but I believe that is still their section. Yeah, so, and I don't know the permit history of those drives. And I think I would argue that we don't, there isn't a substantial change of use here that would require a new permit, assuming the old permits are in place. And I'm not sure, I know that V-Trans process has been a little bit in flux with the letter of intent and everything, but if the board thinks we need to go back to V-Trans to recodify something, we can certainly do that. Again, I do not know the permit history. Yeah, let me ask the representatives from the applicant. Are you using both driveways now? We are, yep. There was a period of time it was, Oh, Kelly, Bushie, yes. We are using it as it's intended. Shortly after the flood in July, the exit side was closed because of a big washout, but the property owners repaired that driveway. And since it's been repaired, we are using the full loop. Okay, are there signs indicating that they're one way? No. No. I realize there's limited number of users, but I just, I thought maybe, do you have any conflicts with that? I mean, do you have people going the wrong way? Not usually, no. The people that come in are the same people day after day, right? We have transports that bring kids in from their sending schools, so they're the same consistent people in our staff. So once they get the groove of it, it's all good. That was my only concern.  When you go to Google map, by the way, it does show the other ones, the one first furtherly, easterly driveway being closed. That's what Google map shows.  Tom and I talked about this earlier in the day, and I did run up by put eyes on it myself. It certainly is open now. Yeah. I guess, from my perspective, it's not a big deal. It does not meet standards. On the other hand, it's been like this a long time, and there's not a lot of traffic through there. And most of the traffic is traffic worth familiar with the site. Does anybody have a concern about that? Traffic access and egress? Nope. Okay, I'm the only one that's... Excuse me, Bob. So if they propose an expansion of the facility with additional students, would they have to come in your opinion, come into conformance with the road standards and the lighting standards as well? Yeah, I certainly think if there's a proposed expansion somewhere down the road, I think we would be looking at that, especially if site plan approval was specifically required. This is a situation where it's conditional use approval, which is predicated upon the fact that you supposedly meet all the site plan standards. But again, site plan standards have provisions for accepting some transition from just existing use to the current standards, in other words, for pre-existing uses. So I only mentioned it. I don't know that I expect any action on it. I think it's something you should be looking at carefully, though. You do should consider perhaps a sign saying entrance only, exit only, just in case you end up having conflicts. Okay. That's a recommendation, period. Anyone else have any comments on this application? Any questions for the members for the applicant? Hearing none. Does anyone want to hear any more testimony? If not, I'm looking for a motion to close the hearing. So moved. I hear Polly, second by John. All those in favor of that motion, is there a discussion of that motion? Aye. Yes, Polly. No, I was voting. Okay. All those in favor of that motion, please say no by saying aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. And it's unanimous, this hearing is closed and we will be issuing our findings in the near future. Typically finding, I appreciate all your attendance. Excuse me, Bob, I just want to inform the applicant, typically findings come out within a week, depending on what the board determines. And if a permit's issued, it'll be shortly after that. Then with this type of permit, there's a 30 day cure period. You're not really doing anything. So, so it should be relatively quick. Okay, sounds good. Okay. Well, thank you all very much for your attendance. Thank you. We have one other item on our agenda tonight. And that is the approval of the minutes of our last meeting. Thank you, folks. Thanks, Chris. Night all, it's the meeting of January 2nd. We have minutes of that meeting. It was a brief meeting. Because do I have a motion to approve those minutes? I will make the motion to approve those minutes. Are you Richard? Seconded by John. Discussion of that motion. All those in favor of that motion, please say no by saying aye. Aye. Or raise your hands. Thank you. We have approved the minutes of the meeting of January 2nd. Thank you very much. Tom? Yes, sir. Anything else come before the board tonight? Well, do you get a delivery or no? Let me ask the board members, do you feel we need to go into a little recession? Nope. I got two no's. No. I got three no's. I would say we're not going to deliberate. Are you making a decision now? I'm good with that. I'm good. No, I still want to see the text of the findings, the facts, and the, before we say yes and no. Does the applicant need some indication of where we're going? I apprised them of the timing and they were not anxious about the timing. They've been operating this way for a year, Tom. I fully appreciate that. That's why they're coming in the conformance. I'm wondering about that. So they are already doing it. That's what I gathered, but yeah. What are you looking for, Tom? I'm not following you. Well, I typically like to give an applicant some sort of heads up on the future of an application. And it's typically what this board does in deliberative session. Does anyone see an issue with this application that says nobody wants to deliberate it? No, no issue. I would presume there are no issues. Right. And I think it's safe to assume barring any text issues that it will be approved. Thank you. I would like to do, I personally would like to see something in the text that reflects my concerns about their access egress. Okay. Yes, thank you. Okay. There being no other business before this board tonight. I would maintain a motion to adjourn. So moved. Seconded. No, actually your second, Bolly. First by John. Seconded. Seconded. Seconded by Bolly. Seconded. All those in favor of the motion, please say before everybody say aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. Aye. And we are adjourned. Good night, everyone.


Hi, my name is Nina Lacour and I am the author of The Apartment House on Poppy Hill illustrated by Sonia Albert. This is a book about a nine-year-old named Ella who lives in this big pink apartment house here in San Francisco. Ella spends her days helping out her neighbors, introducing the new people who just moved into the building, and trying to solve the mystery of the mysterious Robinsons who have lived upstairs on top of her head for her entire life, but who she has never actually seen or even met. This is also the first book in a series and so I'm very excited to follow Ella and all of her neighbors through new adventures and big questions about life. You can get The Apartment House on Poppy Hill through the San Francisco Library or your local independent bookstore. We have so many of them here in San Francisco and I really hope that you enjoy the series.


Well, in the years Armist Brooks has been teaching English at Madison High School, her principle of Good Conklin has made his own appraisal of her worth. Now, whenever a position of responsibility is open at Madison, Miss Brooks is the first name that pops into Mr. Conklin's mind. That's so he can pop it right out again. Oddly enough though, he did put me in charge of Madison's Christmas drive for second-hand clothing. I discussed my new duties with my landlady over breakfast last Friday. But Connie, Christmas is only ten days off. Why did Mr. Conklin wait until now to start his clothing drive? Well, I guess he couldn't make up his mind about one important item, Mrs. Davis. What's that? Whether he should organize the teachers to get clothes for the needy, or organize the needy to get clothes for the teacher. But it is a good cause. What are you donating, Connie? I'm giving an old dress of mine, Mrs. Davis. But you're the head of the drive. Is one dressed enough? I was going to give two, but I remembered a Board of Education rule that says a teacher can't appear in public in a slip. Well, I'd better get ready to leave now. Walter Denton's picking me up soon. Oh, before you go, Connie, do you still plan on doing your Christmas shopping this afternoon? Yes, indeed, Mrs. Davis. I've got the twenty-five dollars I saved up this year right in this envelope. Good. I made out a little Christmas list of my own. I figured that with you being downtown anyway, and me having so many things to do around the house, you wouldn't mind making a few simple purchases for me. I'd be glad to, Mrs. Davis. What do you want me to get? I've got the names and the presents, all itemized, Connie. And here's twenty-five dollars I've saved up. How many presents do you want me to get? Just for the immediate family. My sister Angela, my brother Victor, a couple of cousins. It only comes to twelve gifts altogether. Are you sure you don't mind doing my shopping for me, Connie? Not at all, Mrs. Davis. I just have one problem. What's that? Who will I get to do mine? It was very nice of you to secure those old clothes from your friends and neighbors, Walter. You must have put quite a lot of effort into this drive. For sweet charity in you, I'd bust a gut. The word is burst. I like my contribution, Mrs. Brooks. It's lovely, Walter. Some old lady will be delighted with this lace shawl. That's my old sweatshirt. I guess the moths took a taste of it. The moths left a taste of it. But I appreciate your interest in this drive, and if there's ever anything I can do to reciprocate. Well, there is, Mrs. Brooks. Since I heard you were going shopping today anyway, I can't think of anyone I'd rather have select presents for Harriet and my mother. And while you're there, you can get my father's present, too. Why, Walter, you're implying that I know men and their desires. Do you know men? Oh, Mrs. Brooks, when it comes to men, no one even comes near you. Don't rub it in. Mrs. Brooks, take this $5 bill and put it in your bag. All right, Walter. Oh, dear, I forgot my bag. I'll just put it in this envelope with the other money. I'm sure grateful for this favor, Mrs. Brooks. I know you wouldn't do this for just anybody. You're right. This year, I'm doing it for just everybody. You do first year English. Mrs. Brooks, I've got something for you. Well, it took you long enough to find it out. Oh! Oh, you mean these clothes? Yes. I brought some things in for the drive. Something of mine in a suit of Mr. Conklin's. He asked me to bring it in before your first class starts. Oh, we've got minutes yet, Mr. Martin. Just put them down with the rest of the things. I wish I could have given more to the Christmas drive than I did, Mrs. Brooks. I think you made a splash. You do? Some shivering derelict will be tickled with those tennis shorts. Those are slacks, Mrs. Brooks. Just the way they're folded. I'd like to have given a suit like this one Mr. Conklin donated. It still has plenty of wear in it. It does seem to be in pretty good shape. I'll say it does. Why with a little fixing here and there? A few alterations? A good cleaning and pressing?  He'd really like it. By the way, where's your jacket? Well, this bundle was pretty heavy, so I left it in the lab. I can work better this way, Mrs. Brooks, if you'll forgive my shirt sleeves. Now, can I help you sort these clothes? Oh, no thanks, Mr. Boyne. They'll do that at the mission. They're sending a truck for the stuff around lunchtime. At least I hope it gets here by then. I don't want to get tied up this afternoon. I have a lot of Christmas shopping to do. Oh, I see. Mrs. Brooks, come on. Can I ask you something? I've got to clean up my lab today, and, well, if you're going to be downtown anyway, well, it would be simpler than to leave the selection of my parents' gifts to you. Your parents' gifts? Yes, and my aunt, Maddie, Uncle Fred, and my nephews. Here's my list, Mrs. Brooks, and here's $20. As the kids say, you're a living doll. I'm a dead duck. All right, Mr. Boyne, I'll just slip your money. Mr. Boyne, I'll just slip your money into this envelope with Mrs. Davis', Walder's, and mine. Well, Walder and Mrs. Davis have money in there, too? Yes, they've also subscribed to the Brooks shopping service. Now, I've got to get over to the home economics room. The kids in there were supposed to collect some stuff for the drive. Oh, I'll give you a hand, Mrs. Brooks. I'll take it. Oh, first I'd better put this envelope in my desk. Oh, dear, it's locked, and I left the key at home in my bag. Would you mind putting the envelope in your trouser pocket, Mr. Boyne? Well, this is a trifle embarrassing, Mrs. Brooks, but I'm afraid I've got holes in all my pockets. I'm still a bachelor, you know. I know, I know. I mean, that easily remedies, Mr. Boyne. Of course it is. While we're in the home economics room, you can sew up the pockets. That's not what I had in mind, but it's the start. Meanwhile, I'll just put this envelope and open the breast pocket of Mr. Compton's suit on top of this pile. It'll be safe here for a few minutes. It's safer than carrying it around, I guess. All set. Come on, Mr. Boyne, we're off to get domestic. I hope they've got a nice batch of stuff in there. Mr. Compton accepts it. There's no sign of Mrs. Brooks. Now, I guess the people from the mission got here sooner than she expected. Ah, come on, let's haul this stuff out to their truck. Okay, but, Walter, don't you think we should consult Mrs. Brooks before we take it? Why bother her about it? Besides, we're saving her the trouble of carrying this stuff out herself. Well, if you think so, Walter, believe me, when Mrs. Brooks finds out what we've done for her, she'll thank us till she's blue in the face. We're back to my room and discover the absence of Mr. Compton's suit containing $75, belonging to Walter, Mrs. Davis, Mr. Boynton, and me. I was fit, as the old expression goes, to be tied. The suit itself wasn't worth anywhere near $75. In fact, no suit of Mr. Compton's is worth that much money, even with him in it. But my problem now was getting it back. And in my first free period, I headed to the biology lab to consult Mr. Boynton. Good morning, Mrs. Brooks. Oh, it's you, Mr. Compton. You startled me. Really? But I addressed you in quite a well-modulated tone. I guess that's what startled me. I didn't see you come out of your office, sir. Well, Mrs. Brooks, I just stepped out here to congratulate you on vindicating my confidence in you. That's very nice, Mr. Compton. It didn't take me long to select the right person to head this Christmas drive, Mrs. Brooks. The moment the idea of old clothes hit me, I thought of you. I was a natural all right. Of course, I gave other members of the faculty my careful consideration, too. But it wasn't long before I said to myself, I was good, Mrs. Brooks is your man. Isn't it funny? That's how Mr. Boynton feels about me, too. But, Mr. Compton, there's something I've got to do. Of course, of course. I couldn't keep you from your work for the world, especially such charitable work, Mrs. Brooks. If more of us could realize what genuine satisfaction the spirit of giving evokes, the world would be a brighter place. Well, I'm brightening my little corner like mad. This is a great thing we're doing, Mrs. Brooks, giving to our fellow man. This is the true Christmas feeling. And we must all give, give, give until it hurts. It hurts. It hurts. Please, Mr. Compton, if you'll excuse me. I wouldn't think of detaining you another minute. Oh, before you go, how did you like my contribution to the drive? Wonderful, Mr. Compton. It's a very nice suit. I'll say it was nice. It had several years wear in it. That suit always held something for me. It's loaded for me. That's what I've got to find out about, Mr. Compton. You see, I left something in the pocket, and, well, I've just got to get back that suit. Oh, but you can't do that, Mrs. Brooks. Once I've made a donation, I never take it back. How would it look to the folks at the mission? But there's no way for them to tell your suit from any of the others. No, but there is. My name is stenciled into the lining. Not that I wanted anyone to know I was giving. You just didn't want anyone not to know. Oh, Daddy, there's a cloak for you in your office. Will you get it? I'll call in the back, Harriet. But it's Mother. She said it's urgent. With your Mother, it's always urgent. Probably wants me to bring home a paper. You'd better talk to her, Mr. Compton. I'm going in to see Mr. Boynton about our predicament. Very well, Mrs. Brooks. But remember, it is better to give than to receive. That may be, Mr. Compton, but if I may show off my background in English literature, there's another famous parable which goes, as good as it is to give, it's better to get back that which ain't yours to give. Oh, what a fuss to make over a few dollars. Some people are just mercenary, I guess. Hello? Yes, Martha, what is it? Have I had your necklace repaired yet? I don't remember you're giving it to me. What? You put it in the pocket of my blue suit when it's denied? Martha, was that my brown-dyed blue suit? It was, but I donated that to the Christmas clothing drive today, and that necklace had a genuine opal in it. Oh, I've got to get it back. No, I'm not excited. No, don't give me that baloney about charity. I'll get that suit back if I have to rip the mission apart with my bare hands.  I was just cleaning up the lab, Miss Brooks. What's the trouble? Mr. Conklin's suit has been picked up and delivered to the mission. Well, that's nothing to get excited about. It's supposed to go there, isn't it? Yes, but the money is still in it. I don't know what to do. Now take it easy, Miss Brooks. What money is still in it? The shopping money. Mine, Mrs. Davis's, Walters, and yours. Mr. Boynham! I must have tripped over this stool. What time are they going to distribute this clothing, Miss Brooks? This afternoon. We've got to get down to that mission and get the suit back. Well, are you sure you could identify Mr. Conklin's suit? With the things I've spilled on it, if I can't identify it, it'll identify me. How are we going to go about getting it? Well, we'll simply park outside the mission and watch every person who leaves the premises. In that way, we're bound to see who walks out with Mr. Conklin's suit on. The rest is up to you. What do I do? Pick his pocket while he waits for a bus? Now, please, Miss Brooks, we'll devise some sort of a scheme on the way downtown. Meanwhile, let's be calm about it. Isn't the end of the world, even if we fail to recover the money? Heaven for fend? Amen. That afternoon, a little after three, Mr. Boynham and I were stationed at the mission window waiting to catch a glimpse of Mr. Conklin's suit. Miss Brooks, have you seen Mr. Conklin's suit yet? No, but I spotted the dress I donated, and I've been following its progress. What's happened to it? It's been rejected three times. Hey, isn't that Mr. Conklin's suit heading for the door? Alone? Oh, you mean on the man with the glasses? Yes, I think it is. You'd better get on the other side of the door. Now, don't worry, Miss Brooks. I'll do my part. They'll get it back. Good luck. Oh, pardon me, my good man. Yeah? May I speak with you for just a moment? Yeah. It's about that suit you've got on. Are you quite satisfied with it? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, but look at the way it fits.  What do you want me to do? Go around in my underwear? Yeah. I mean, of course not. And maybe you could get a better one. There's no reason why you shouldn't do every bit as well as this man coming toward us now. I'm sure he got his suit in the mission. Pardon me, bud, but did you get that suit at the counter inside? Yeah. It's contagious. You say that's a mission suit you've got on. Sure. I just got it. Boy, were you jibbed. You mean to say you wouldn't like to look like he does? If I wanted to look like he does, I wouldn't have turned in the suit they're burning. Well, I didn't want to mention this, but I guess I'll have to. Do you know who wore that suit before you? As recently as last Wednesday? Who? I don't want to come right out and say, but, well, the fellow had his hands crossed on his chest with the lily in them. A stiff, huh? Let's just say he wasn't very active. Don't you think you ought to trade that suit in for another one? After all, its last owner might not like the idea of your wearing it. He might come back after it. Oh, well, only I don't believe in that kind of stuff. Miss Brooks, Mr. Boyden, I, uh, I've got to talk to you at once. Mr. Compton, what are you doing here? Well, I've, um, I've had a change of heart about my donation. I'd like to get it back. Boy, what an Indian giver. I don't believe I know you, my good man. Ferguson is the name Cosmo Ferguson. Oh, how do you do? Mr. Compton, why do you want your suit back? Because of something that my wife put into the... Ferguson? Ferguson, you're wearing my suit. What do you mean, your suit? What happened to have worn that garment as recently as last Wednesday? Oh, it's the stiff. What's that? This lady said the suit was on a dead guy last Wednesday.  Now, uh, look, I've just got to have that suit back. It has a sentimental attraction for me, and I'll be a good fellow and return it. Nothing doing. I was handed this suit and told it was mine to keep. Wait, wait, wait. I'll get you another suit. Please, Mr. Ferguson, be reasonable. No. Oh, come on, Cosmo. You don't want that old suit? Of course you don't. Give it here. Take your hands off of me, pompous, or there'll be trouble. That's the idea. You and him fight, and I'll hold your coat. I am not going to fight. I'm just going. No, no, no. Wait, I'll give you $5 for that suit. I'm staying. I'll give you $6 for it. Miss Brooks, why are you bidding for this suit? It's got a sentimental attraction for me, too. I've spilled more on that suit than any of your others. Good. I'll give you $10. $12. $18. $19. Gee, and I always thought they just sang songs at Mission. Now, just a minute. I'll give you $25 and the suit I've got on for that one. All right. It's a deal. Let's go inside and change. Well, we can do that later. Let's change coats immediately. Okay. You know, I might parlay this Mission business into a clothing factory. Hello, Miss Brooks. Hi, everybody. Walter. Well, I'm all through helping out in the Mission. How do you like the way I handle things? You were divine, Walter, but I can't talk to you right now. There's a matter of $75 I've got to recover. Mr. Conklin, now that you've changed coats, would you mind looking through the pockets, please? That's just what I am doing, Miss Brooks. I'd better find... It's not here. It was in the inside-breath pocket, Mr. Conklin. It was not. It was in the side pocket. No. No, you're both wrong. Harriet and I went through the pockets before we turned it into the Mission people. We found Mrs. Conklin's necklace and all our shopping money, Miss Brooks. What? Ferguson, give me back that coat. Not a chance. I'm getting out of here. You people are all bad. But my $25, my new coat, Ferguson, wait! Cosmo! We'll make another deal, Cosmo! When after that bomb? You tell him, Miss Brooks. Well, all I can say is, it's definitely better to give than to get, especially where Cosmo's going to get it. Other than tonight's cast, Morgan, Dick Cranow, Bob Rockwell, Gloria McMillan, and Parley Bear.