What's the right amount of volume to build the most amount of muscle watch this our next caller is Steven from North Carolina, Steven What's happening? How can we help you? Hey, how's it going guys good? Congratulations on all your hard work. It's really paying off helping a lot of people. So we appreciate it I'm just gonna go ahead and read this question off because I don't want to sound like a blabbering idiot But it mainly revolves around muscle and strength and And hypertrophy and the amount of volume that's prescribed in max anabolic So you hear all these other guys like Lane Orton and Brad Schoenfeld and Mike Israel tell preach for days and days about how volume is The key for size and strength gains and they all seem to talk about around a 15 to 20 sets per week for any given muscle But when I'm doing maps anabolic, it seems like the most volume you're ever doing for any one body part in particular Is 12 sets and that's assuming that you're doing three days a week And then in some phases like phase one only has like four sets of pull-ups for the lats But um anyways, I ran maps anabolic as written about a year or so back and didn't really see any significant strength gains or size gains Caveat is I was either at maintenance for most of the time or even cutting towards the end of it So I'm not sure if that has something to do with it With all that being said though, I've been lifting and eating really well for Over a year now, and I haven't really seen any size or strength gains significantly Doing any sort of program. So I've kind of come to the conclusion that I probably need to do some sort of legitimate slow and steady bulk in order To gain strength and size at this point but at the end of the day, I'm a little worried that Doing so with a program like maps anabolic I won't have enough volume and that just worries me. I don't want to get fat On my first time really trying to bulk Okay. All right, so there's a couple of things you added in the question that you wrote into do you mind if I go through them? Yeah, go for it. Yeah, so you said you you realize you have a little bit of body dysmorphia Yeah, potentially. Yes. Okay. Now that can make That can make being objective a little bit challenging. Okay. Now you mentioned not a lot of strength gains But you were also cutting your calories. That's common. It's really hard to make strength gains when your calories are low Especially an experienced lifter. Yeah, especially as far as volume is concerned. Okay Here's a deal with with volume and here's the challenge that I have with the science-based Fitness communicators, although they're far better than the typical Fitness influencer. They are all about the data and they tend to miss out the context of individual variants because they themselves Often don't train lots of everyday people or if they do train people There's a bit of a bias because I'll train just bodybuilders or high, you know performing athletes Volume definitely contributes to hypertrophy, but it's got to be the right volume. What does that mean? Well, it's very different from person to person. So that 15 to 20 sets per week That's true for a lot of people. It's not true for everybody for a lot of people That's too much volume and the context that you have to look at is your lifestyle The stress that you have your diet your sleep and of course your genetics all play a role and also Let's say you did follow a program that let's say was at 18 sets per week per body part And you were doing great and you did that for years Sometimes dropping volume gets you better gains when you're stuck to something for so long And the same as couldn't be true in the opposite where you maybe do low volume and then increase the volume Intensity and frequency and all that stuff these all play a role and also don't forget with maps and a ball like this trigger sessions So trigger sessions are a way to add lots of extra volume You could do up to three of those a day on your off days So, you know, essentially what I'm saying is this there's a lot of individual variants You're gonna have to play with things a little a little while, but I'm gonna be quite honest with you the vast majority of people that I've worked with 15 sets is around the top Per week per body part what most people can can take the people that handle more than that tend to be more advanced with better athletic or muscle building Genetics most people are anywhere between 9 to 12 sets in my experience and again the context being a normal life And maybe some stress and not everything else being totally perfect But the other part I want to focus on is the body dysmorphia side.  I would say I would recommend you go So, you know, I have a few things to contribute to this one I actually do agree with Lane and Greg and show and field who you're talking about like as far as volume If you've listened to show long enough You've heard me talk about when I competed one of the single most important things that I tracked To make sure that I was progressing show over show was of volume and how I manipulated that so But there's a piece that's missing in this conversation that if also if you've been listening for a long time You've heard me say many times which is my goal is always to do the least amount of work to elicit the most amount of change So what I don't like about the messaging that Lane is saying and Greg and these guys is we're all assuming That everybody is at the same place like what Sal is alluding to and what I have found in my experience is most people Respond very well to less very few people are Consistently training day in day out months and months out year in year out. We're good diet. Good sleep, right? And so by me when I start these people off I actually want to do as little as possible to get them to start to see some sort of change that way I have lots of room to increase volume over time So when I first started to get ready for competing so I competed for two years consistently I got ready a year before that so three years of being very very focused on Building right and that first year my routine looked very similar to anabolic and it was a very slow process of just trying to build My metabolism up get stronger pack on some muscle and what's cool is if you're following maps Consecutively we wrote them in order with purpose right so it goes maps anabolic Maps performance maps aesthetic and then you would move to something like split You know for somebody who's more body body part focus like a competitor and all of those we scale volume in it for you So anabolic is designed to be the lesser volume program in comparison to performance Aesthetic and then split and then the pinnacle would be PED So yeah, you do want to add volume if you want to keep ice So what they're saying is not not true But the starting point is really important and finding that for a client is Important that you don't go right to the end if you try if I try to start When not my journey if I started in PED type of volume I might have seen great results for the first month or two because of how much volumes in it But then I would have nowhere to go and scale and I would even argue you would have over-trained I would have I would have and I mean to add to this Steven to look look Let's just think about this think this out for a second Okay, adding volume year after year is the way that you get your body to continue to change Okay, that obviously there's something there's a bit of a flaw there because What are you gonna do five in five years or ten years into training 85 sets per week per body part? It's not always that way. So you can get up to a certain volume You get back down on the volume increase the intensity change the exercise all of a sudden get Well, this is what it this is what it looked like for me. It went anabolic performance Aesthetic split PED for two shows back to anabolic Reset myself again, like it's and get what's awesome is after I train that long that consistently scale volume over time Man when I got back to anabolic and gave myself that adequate rest and brought the volume down I got really strong So, you know that that's the one thing I don't like about when guys, you know preach this message all the time It's like we're all assuming that you know the millions of people we're all talking to are in the exact same place And again, I'll always hammer this home The goal is to do as little as possible to elicit the most amount of change So I have more tools in my tool belt or toolbox to manipulate later on and yes Adding volume and manipulating volume is one of the single most important things To adding and building size over time But where you start is so important and then the last the last thing I want to say Is related to the comment about anabolic 100 percent the reason why you didn't see much from that Is because you're in a maintenance to a deficit on a program where it's about building your metabolism and building strength Running in a maintenance or or in a deficit. You gotta feed the body. Yeah Is is I mean the fact that you just maintained would be a success. So by running that in a bulk Um or at least maintenance surplus is going to be where you want to be in order to see some strength gains in muscle Muscle building. Did you do the trigger sessions religiously? I did. Yeah, three a day. Yeah And sorry, you did three a day on your off days No, I did one a day typically do three a day Huge difference huge difference if you do three a day versus one a day and make sure you're just you're just trying to get a pump That's all you're trying to do Gotcha the other um kind of question I had with regards to that is that just seems to be kind of conflicting with The you know when you want to get better at a lift do it more frequently Um advice that you guys often give that's right So I'm wondering how you would incorporate the more frequency into like random lifts like the All right, so either pull-ups or bench press like just do a couple sets at like 70 for like half as many reps as you can do Yeah, I think on the trigger session days Think of it this way think of it this way, right? So if you have you have volume and frequency and intensity Okay, so the more you train the more often you train the longer you train the less you can train intensely So if you want to practice a lift every single day You're you're going to maybe have one day where it's decent intensity the rest of the time. It's it's literally Yeah, but don't forget sal this this if again going back to what I said Right now I mean I'm sticking to the goal is to build and put muscle and size and strength on right now Um, you know getting good at a lift. Okay. Yes that that matters But we're talking about the vault the conversation right now is about volume and properly scaling that And right now I want to follow maps anabolic to a t because in performance You're going to get more volume and practice and an aesthetic you're going to get even more volume and practice And so I think the message for me is that or for you for me is that Follow it to a t Follow up the right program right after it let the let us do the programming for you Where we scale the volume in and trust the process and do it in a maintenance to bulk so you can actually build While you do it Sounds good. All right. Thank you guys. Thanks for calling appreciate it. Thanks, David. All right. Take care You know, I want to say this about studies because you're gonna you can pull up lots of studies on exercise Like how what's the best rip range? What are the best set? You know range total volume and intensity And there's a couple things that you want to consider when you look at studies one is that studies are typically 12 to 16 weeks long so Whatever works best in a 12 to 16 week period doesn't necessarily mean that that's going to work best long term The body does tend to lose its I guess the the how it adapts or reacts to a stimulus Once it's used to that stimulus or changing things up Makes a big difference and then here's the other part that's really important If you read the studies and nobody ever does this Look at the participants. It's almost always 10 to 15 college aged males Okay, so let's let's think of the context here They're young men. So they have typically good testosterone levels. They're probably prime age to build recover They probably don't have a lot of stress. They're in college. They have enough time to obviously enroll in a study They don't have kids. They're not, you know, worried about all that stuff. So that context Matter so 15 to 20 sets for college aged males in a 12 week period That may be true for a majority of those people if you're a 35 year old or 45 year old male or you're a guy with lots of stress or You know, you're a woman or whatever like it changes things quite a bit And like I said, if I took all the clients that I trained and I considered all of them Uh 15 to 20 sets is too much for most people per way It's usually about 9 to 12 is what I would get out of consistent clients to be optimal Hey, if you enjoyed that clip, you can find the full episode here or you can find other clips over here And be sure to subscribe


I don't think it's a good idea to start experimenting with meth when we're babysitting are we live man yeah we are episode number 12, the mighty Michael foley ashore podcast. here in michael's basement it's been a wild man. how much would it cost for you to try meth to try meth? How much would we have to pay you to do meth? How much of it? How much do I have to do? Just one hit.  Like a dollar hit.  No, but like a decent hit. Why? Just because it's science. How much are you offering? No. Yeah, no. Tell us how much. No, this is a... You tell us what you're offering. You tell us what you're... It's fair. How much would you do meth for? Oh, it's so disgusting to me. I don't know, like a grand? You would try meth for a grand. Really? We're okay. On your holidays, when you have holidays from clang-clang-clang, you have to fucking... If we give you a grand, you will do meth. On the boys' trip, you'll do meth.  Oh, no!  You said you'd do it for a grand. Yeah, of course I would. I'm just saying it's not very... Anyway... Let us know if you would like to see meth on meth. It's not very, very. It is very, very. If you'd like to see meth on meth. I would love to see meth on meth. That's a very good idea. Yeah, we're going to try that. Anyway... I'm scared what it'll do to me. It's not.  Become super brown. No, you'll love it. Dude, yeah, it is. It's pretty fun. I'll have all of you. I reckon on the boys' trip, you do it and then you get to stay awake. You get to enjoy the whole boys' trip. There's no sleeping. We should all do meth on the boys' trip. That's what he was leading to, is that we all get on meth. Let's do... It makes boys' trip. And if the purist one does it... If we all do meth... We'll have a meth day. If you all do meth. If we all do meth. Will you do it for free? No. But there's days for your clank-clunk work not to know that it's in your system. I don't want to do it. Okay. So that's why the money option will bring me in. Meth day on the boys' trip. You do it for a grand. That's a thousand dollar offer for any friend. That's pretty good. If they want to do meth. Everyone should be able to pay their mate if they have the money to do meth. Let's see how good your self-control is, mate.  We should pay him ten grand and see if we can get him hooked. We call him meth, Matt. Or just meth. Or brownie meth. Oh, dude.  Maybe not. We won't get you hooked, Matt. But I would love. I reckon we should have a meth day at the next boys' trip. We'll think about it. Comment. Let us know if you think we should do meth on the next boys' trip. And if Matt should do meth, especially for a thousand dollars.  We had a bit of a mate's wedding on the weekend. Didn't we, Matt Brown? We did. Emile's was very lovely. I wasn't invited. No, you weren't invited. No. It's like the second wedding I haven't been allowed to go to. The funny thing was, one of the girls were there, goes, oh, I heard Marty from Marty and Michael's coming. Oh yeah, he is. And then they went, oh, I heard he's the better one of the two to invite. And I said, oh, to be honest, I think it's the other way around. I think Michael would actually quite decent. It depends. If you got me like proper plastered, it could be like. Yeah, you might not have had enough respect for Emile. It would have just been a wedding that I'm allowed to destroy. No, no, no, I understand. It was small and intimate. Like you would have, it would have been fun. Yeah, it was only like 27 people or something. Yeah, it was quite nice. Quite intimate. But anyway, it was a very fun night.   On the lips? On the lips. Oh man, that's funny. Very funny. With tongue? Nah, I tried. Okay, nothing. Sorry. Yeah, well, guess what? What? It's my birthday. It's been my birthday. Oh yeah, right now. Oh yeah. This is my last week as a 31 year old man. Michael's birthday is on Saturday. We're going to go and have a bit of a party party.  I wonder what it's like. I haven't put the deposit down for it yet. So it might not happen.  I want to do that. And I don't know if you've seen on social media. You know how Michael had a fuckload of rats? Well, remember that?  You might remember. I was like, fuck, it'd be funny to get the rats from inside, from outside to inside.   Because we realized it was right after the floods that they left. I haven't heard them since the floods.  So I went and bought 100.  But you weren't even that scared. Well, they were sort of like, I knew they were pet rats. It was scary seeing these weird little creatures. But then I realized, oh, they're pet ones. Because they're all white. They weren't vicious like that one. They were real slow. Like they were cute. And then one bit me and freaked me out. But like, yeah, I'm not into, I must say I did want to keep one. But instead we let them out back. We freed them. We drove to a secluded part of, it was some forest and just released them. But I guarantee they would have been, they're probably all dead now. They stood out so much because they're white. Do you think that all the ones that were in the house originally have been eaten by a giant python? Yeah, maybe. I don't think so. Yeah, I reckon because usually they get... But there were a lot, man. It was like, seriously, we saw 10 that time going across the beam. And I've seen like, oh, probably five other occasions in the garage they were always hanging out. They come out of the bins and jump at me. The snake would be gone now. But I was wondering, because usually when you have a lot of rats in a place, usually you'll find that the snake will show up at some point and eat a few of them. I think that's an urban legend. That's a myth con. Sorry. Sorry about that, hey. But anyway, it's going to be a wild episode. No peer box this week. But what are we having instead? Do we have no peer box? Oh, we got Nicky. We've got your back this week. Yeah, German segment back this week. We're going to start with Nicky's game. A slightly different German game.  We've got a bachelor brown. We've got a black book entry. We've got Michael's written a Bible entry. Pulled out. We've got a prank call. What did we say for the prank call? What are we doing? I reckon we call up a hotel again.  Sleep in the room because he has anxiety when he goes in public. And the pig's the only thing that stops him from being anxious. And the pig actually identifies as a dog. Or a wife, yeah.    So this is actually my sister's one. But remember I told you the story that that there was another Matt Brown in year 12 and my sister was in year 12. You replaced that Brown. And my photo got put in his spot so. Let's have a look here. Try and cover up my sister's name. You get double. Look at Matt Brown.    Hold it up. Hold it up to the camera but cover my sister's name when you do it. I wonder if that's working. Matt. Matt Brown. It honestly looks like you when you're in high school. How old were you there? I was 14 I think. It doesn't look anything like Matt. If you're listening on Spotify and stuff what would you describe it as? It looks like a pineapple. It looks kind of like a pineapple. You know the cartoon movie 101 Dalmatians? No. The husband of the wife. But instead of that hair it's just like spiked up hair. Did anyone watch Around the Twist? Bronson. Yep yep yep.  That's a compliment.  There you go. Also guys don't forget we got let's do our sponsors.  Please like and comment and subscribe. By the way before we get into this please like comment and subscribe. Let me just get the... Why are you saying like comment and subscribe do you want to tell everyone I have a fully actual TikTok. I had guys before we jump into the sponsors we do have a TikTok dedicated to this podcast where we just post little snippets. So it's Marty, Michael, fully actual. On TikToks are gone. If you're on TikTok go and give it a follow.  And if you've got any suggestions for TikTok's little snippets from the podcast feel free to send them on through. We'll be doing that. We'll be posting a lot more reels on the fully actual Instagram as well. NordVPN. Do you have a VPN? What? You don't?         Seriously. And that's straight from the heart strings. No, I backed that.  It doesn't even make your internet slower. All right. Same speed. What have you got to lose? I'll tell you nothing. Do you know why?  That's basically free. On a two-year plan. A two-year plan. Only $3.35 each. Plus, plus, plus. If you use our discount code fully actual, you get a huge discount on top of that and a free bonus gift.  Plus an extra month free and there's a money back guarantee if you don't like it. Link is in the description or go to NordVPN.com slash fully actual. If you want all of that insane, it's like free basically. I think, yeah. I think they pay you. Yeah. It's pretty sure you make money. That's how cheap it is. So if you want to make money, get NordVPN. It's like solar power. 110% that. It's a small investment. Just think about it. If you want to watch any show from like like Thailand. Just you get a Thailand VPN.  Thailand shows a great. If you wanted to, you could go to India on your laptop. You actually go to India. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like traveling as a portal. Yeah. Right. It's traveling. You Google India and then do the street maps. And you're there. And you're there. You don't have to travel. And no one knows. And if you've got the VPN on, no one will know you there. No one will know you there. So I'm pretty sure you can't even be seen. Yeah. If you want to run from the government, you get a VPN. Feel any sort of criminal criminal activity. If you buying drugs from the dark web, use NordVPN. 100% that would help out. That would have helped us out so much. And use Bitcoin. Yeah. Anyway, NordVPN. Get it. Get it. Oh, Oh, our second sponsor. Everybody.   Black, wiry first. So thick.  We'll go to manscape.com. They got heaps of male grooming product. Some of the best shavers we've ever seen in our lives.  Do you understand me? Matt's pouring, always pours the shampoo on my legs, uses a bottle every time. Michael and I like to use the nose trimmer. Michael's balls have never been so clean shave and it's sickening. Yeah. Everything smells good for a manscaped. They got ball wipes. They got lip balm. They got deodorants. Just go to manscape.com and see. Now, I know what you're thinking. Thinking, yeah, what do I get out of this? Why would I go on there?   Get out discount code.  Look at it. Fully actual 20. Type it in. Now you're saving money.   And women can use it too.  Hey, while we're on the topic of shaving balls, I was shaving myself before the weekend. And I was like, your testicles. Yeah, everything. You were expecting. And I was trying to get, like, so I'd finished the manscape and it worked perfectly. Exactly how I wanted it to. And I wanted that little extra bit of shave. And so I was getting around like this top it, and like just at the top of like my dick, there was like the lightest of folds in the skin.   So, so don't get the shave. No, the shavers weren't good, but yeah, I used to razor. It worked a little too well. Oh, so it wasn't that way. Yeah, it was a manscape. Okay, there you go. I used a manscape thing. It was perfect. Except I used this razor afterwards. And I nicked myself. And yeah, it just wouldn't stop. I had to do the old shaver trick where you push something gone like a bit of paper on it. Paper. Why does he suddenly smell? All right. And our final sponsor, of course, is the University of Marker.   You will never see this content anywhere else. If you don't believe me, go and have a look. It's a 21 day free trial. So you can leave before you get charged. So if you don't believe me, go prove me wrong.     And right now there's probably in the experiment which kitchen utensils hurt the most. Oh, okay. And let me tell you, mate, it's surprising. The winner is surprising, isn't it? And of course the extended rat prank out right now. Yeah. And then the following week, I think we're going to figure out if humans can become cheaters. You guys asked everyone if they wanted to do vlogs or adventure vlogs. Ringworm of the ring. Well, we've got a fair few comments saying yes. One, there was one that said he wants more pain. Now we've got to figure out where to go vlog.  I think it's not much in Brisbane. It's like a fucking, there's an airport. There's like a few skyscrapers. Maybe you do it. Maybe you do it as like a thing maybe once a month. Yeah.   It's going to be like too boring.  Yeah, that's there. You can't do that. But what you can do, this is my idea. I reckon we go like, there's a plane wreckage in Brisbane.   That's why we want to go there.  Because it's a historical piece. Yeah. I'm worried about us putting that out there.   They don't bat an eyelid. Fuck.  Or at least smear some on. I'll check the books. But anyway, yeah. So we'll be doing some.   It's over 200 videos on there now. And it funds everything that we do.   Should I get? Is it time for? Break. All right. We're back. If you haven't so far, please. Don't forget to like, subscribe and comment and shit, man. Just lots of comments. But remember, everyone, before we get into on this day, just remember we have a competition. Do we say $2,000? $1,000 for the any, any comment that is put on any podcast of this season. Other way, other way, Michael, other way. Shit. Any comment that is put on any podcast from this season has the chance to win $1,000. The more you comment, the higher chance of winning. And that's across. If you don't even need to make sense, you can just write a comma. And that comment could win $1,000 at the end of the season. Oh my God. I just realized you could have comment of the week and you could pull it out as comment. Like of the year you could double win. Yeah. 100% you could have a double. It's a very small chance. That is $2,000. Highland likely. If that happens, we're all getting fully actual. Imagine if a Marty and Michael. That's two mates on meth. Imagine if Marty, a Marty and Michael comment, won the money.  It could happen and I will. It could actually happen. I'm not lying about anything. One of the time stamp comments wins. Yeah. Anything could happen. Literally, you don't know what's going to happen on this podcast. The other thing is so unexpected, man.  Yeah. There's piss here.  On this day.  No, we took that out within the hour. Sorry. Too much. On this day in 1992, Steven Seagull emerged from a silver cocoon hanging in the Amazon forest. No one knows exactly what Steven Seagull is, but he has been witnessed communicating with foxes and pigs. He has no family, probably. He has never had a wife either, I think. After thorough research, I personally believe that Steven Seagull is a mutated seed. And if we were to plant Steven Seagull, I believe an alien plant would grow. Really, man? It's true.   Or a seagull tree. Mutated seed. I met him once in Mongolia. Steven Seagull. Really? Is he the dude that does all the action films heaps? Long hair. He did action films at one point. He has long hair. That's how I remember him, too. Little ponytail. Yeah. I like him. I like him now after that. Yeah, that's impressive. That's really stand up.   That's journalism at its top fine. It's off tap. Steven Seagull is a mutated seed. Matt Brown figured that out.    Sorry, dude. Okay. All right. Book nine, chapter 12, verse nine from Imagine letting a strange man that you do not know enter your body without a DOM who didn't really go through a proper STI check.   If you don't, you only get Netflix and take away at home. The man seems to be friendly but has a lot of support, but he can also be quite forceful.  Just imagine a world where that could be because that world isn't really being much be.  Anyway. Sorry. What was going on there? I think, I don't know. I was like hammer drunk. That's how most Bibles are written.  He loved his wine. He loved his opiates too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They used to sleep in all day.  He was fucking, put up on that cross gun. He was passed out. He was smashed.  He woke up. That's exactly it.     Sorry.   All right. It is now time. For the most disgusting segment.  Oh, that's a little black. I don't think you can talk about me like that. This is pretty much a segment where we find an excerpt from Matthew's black diary here where he has detailed a very vivid description of every single girl that he's ever fucked. Well, girl, corpse, man, thing, whatever. Everything's in there. All of his haves. All right. Now I'm just going to pick one at random. I hope that Matt has personally written. Personally written all of them. No intervention, no help. He just went home, brought me this black book and said here. This is what I used to do.  He said here. Here. And he meant here is in H-E-A-R. Okay. Here we go. Here we go. Number 30. More on my back. Stop. That's what it says. That's what it says. It was a humid, sticky summer's day.  Sweat was flowing down my chest and would pool in my belly button. I scratched my scot with my long fingernails, picking fleas off as I went. I was admiring a festering patch of discharge, crusted onto the tip of my little brown. I would gently run my fingers over it and let the hard, crusty outer layer tickle my skin. Discharge had been oozing from my cockmouth for over two weeks and I knew something wasn't right. My little brown lazily flopped around on my belly and I could tell he was feeling quite sick.   I'd never been to a human doctor before and was quite nervous. I arrived and while in the waiting room, my little brown gargled with pain as the other patients shot me concerned glances. The doctor came in and saved my embarrassment. Mr. Brown? Follow me please. I scampered after the doctor like a frightened prawn. The doctor led me into a room and closed the door behind us. So what seems to be the problem, man?  Okay, very specific.  I slowly stam, still unsure of whether to trust this doctor.  Discharge splattering and spraying from its end. Oh my god. I don't believe I've ever seen anything like this before. I'm gonna have to check your prostate and take some blood. I was unsure what checking my prostate meant but turned around and bent over onto the examination table as instructed. I watched him put the gloves on and then apply lubricant to his finger. Alright, you might feel a bit of pressure here, he said. This can't be happening. Is this doctor attempting to have me after I showed him my festering disease little brown? Surely this man wasn't a doctor. I'd never heard of such treatments.  I was stunned. Frozen with fear as his finger fiddled around and worked a twilight on my colon. My mind was racing but then I looked down and see that my little brown looks healthier. He is rock hard and seemingly enjoying this man's finger. The discharge had stopped and it was swollen and throbbing like it usually does.  I realised that this may be how human doctors treat my particular ailment. Maybe having cue was my stinky discharge. I suddenly became more relaxed and started enjoying the experience.  I felt the doctor try and pull his hand out but I gripped his wrist with my ring muscles and just like a snake, I began swallowing this doctor's arm. What's going on? The doctor shouted.  He was on his knees desperately trying to pull his arm free. What are you? Help! Help me! I turned my head 180 degrees so I could look him in the eyes. I am Matt Brown.  My little brown is swaying from side to side. He gets to bury itself in this doctor. I jump on top of the doctor and grab his head on either side. I lower my face so it's an inch from his.  Just like those chameleon lizards. He seems to be scared which was strange I thought. He must be excited to give me my treatment.   The doctor's arms are flailing around and his eyes were wide open. I couldn't understand what he was saying as I still had his tongue wrapped up in mine. I assumed he was enjoying it and continued.  I start rolling my hips, falls in back while still filling his entire mouth with my tongue. The doctor was kicking and pushing ferociously. He must really have been loving this. We roll around on the floor knocking over chairs and equipment.  I grind bang harder and heavier. My little brown had drilled its way through the doctor's collar and was now sitting in his stomach. The doctor had tears running from his shocked face. I still couldn't make out what he was saying but through his muffled screams, but I was getting close to climax.   Greasy black men's power flung from my little brown deep into the doctor's body when he maintained eye contact. As I filled and soon my men's began gushing from his eyes, ears and mouth as his body was full.  Men's was still bubbling and steaming from the doctor's orifices as he lay on the floor. He was dead. He couldn't handle my men's. Strange that this is how the doctor chose to treat me yet couldn't handle it himself. His treatment did seem to work though and my little brown looked completely back to normal. This doctor sacrificed his life so that I could have a healthy little brown. Thank you kind doctor.  I pounded backwards home and was glad that my human doctor experience was so wonderful. I no longer fear doctors. He pencil dove? He penguin dove. Oh my God. I prefer pencil but that is good.  You love doctors. That's why you love doctors now. You love going on the doctors just because you might get a prostate check which you Matt thinks is sex. Matt thinks the doctor was doing that on purpose initiating sex. But no Matt, that's just him checking prostate and you killed him for that. Oh no. You killed him for no reason. He was panicking and he couldn't talk to you because you had his tongue wrapped around him.  Oh my God. He couldn't scream properly. Flailing his arms and legs.  Yeah, sorry about that. And that's not right.  That is so intense. Guys, if you can't support us in any other way, right, please just like... If we've put a little small on that dial, please like, subscribe, and don't forget to comment anything.   Please go ahead and do that. And if you're on Spotify, give us a five-star rating. It's so easy. Just search for us and then you click on the stars and go five-star done. Remember? I'm so good with it. Far too ringed, mate.  Really? He killed a man. Yeah, you killed a man. I lost Markle to giggles.  It's so intense. Dude. You've murdered someone. Oh. Speaking of murdering people, Matt murdering people, it's time for us, one of our favourite segments. It's time for Michael and I to step into Matt Brown's life. It's not one of our favourite.  It's time for Bachelor Brown Brown Brown. Bachelor Brown Brown Brown. He's right behind you. He's always behind you. Please turn around before it's too late. He's right behind you. Oh, my God. Matt Brown's right behind you. And this is a segment where Michael and I hand-select. The neighbours will be like, wow. Females to have a phone date with Matt Brown, okay? Hand-pick them. And just to help Matt on the right path, we know what he needs to look for in a girl. Matt has no idea. There he sits. All alone on a toilet. Grown man.   And completely single. Actually, one of the funniest things that wedding was, nearly every single person was in a couple and that was the ongoing thing.  Like, you know what I mean? Where's your girlfriend? Yeah, so are you seeing anyone? She's in the trunk of my car. Wow, we did see Matt, like dance with someone. Yeah, man. Yeah, she was my partner in the, cause I was part of the wedding party, everyone. And she was my partner for the wedding party. She was really good. Connor, I trust you. Of course. Connor's going to love that. Of course you'll leave it. But do you think that you think we might be cancelled? Yeah. I don't know. It's sort of promoting clank clunk. What's clank clunk? Giggle, giggle, giggle. Clank clunk clunk. All right, let's get this over with because it's not fun to me. All right, this is a segment way.  You wait till you hear how bad Matt is at this. I'm already sweating. Yeah, exactly. What's her name? Shaza? Shaza. Yup. Shaza. Shaza. Dude. Matt. Don't start your Judgy McPants. You're called Matt.  Giggle, giggle, giggle. Giggle, giggle, giggle. All right, here we go. Here we go, here we go, here we go, here we go. Hello. Hello, Sharon. This is Marty and Michael here and you are on the Marty and Michael fully actual podcast and I have a very excited but timid Matt Brown next to me. He's been stressing about talking to you. He's a really nice guy.  Check if it's her yet? She haven't even given her a chance to speak. Giggle, giggle, giggle. Could be the wrong number. Hello, is this Sharon? Shaza, yup. Yes, I thought it might have been Matt. I thought it might have been.  Go, Matt. Come on. Think of something. Ah. That's good. Come on. Come on, Matt. Oh, my God. Tell her what you do. Dude, ask her something. This is so embarrassing. Can you stop for a sec? Shaza, do you have anything you'd like to ask Matt to try and break the ice? His hands are literally shaking. He's bleeding right now. Yeah. I do have a question. So it's, say, the Sunday. Now, if you were to meet my mother, what would you get her some other day?  That's so relevant.  Hang on. Stop it. Get a one of these. Sit down. Sit down. I don't know your mother, so I would be very smart and I'd buy her flowers. What would you say to her?  She'd punch you. She'd get punched in the face. She'd set me up. She'd set me up. So what would your mom do if Matt gave her a dozen of the freshest red roses? She'd be so polite about it. She is the sweetest human. Oh, there you go, Matt. See, all mothers are sweet. Matt, calm down. Okay, you're talking to Shaza. You're not having to go to a mom. He's swelled up a bit, man. He got a bit excited. Shaza, I'm threesome. Can you calm down? Shaza, I notice you have a... Is it a Kiwi accent? I do, yeah. So we're about to... You're in New Zealand? Oh, here we go. Where are you from? I'm from Orton, but I've only been back in New Zealand for about 18 months now. Oh, okay.  So were you in Australia before that? No. So I've seen the last four years in Canada before that, in Peru and Bolivia. And before that, I actually lived in Peru. You're in Peru and Bolivia? Ask her if she's ever married. I went there once. Ask her if she likes anyone from the podcast. Do you like anyone from the podcast? This is Maria Michael. Ask her if she likes anyone from the podcast. More than a friend. Do you?  Do you like anyone on the podcast more than a friend? Oh, definitely you. Okay. Please. Shaza, what do you do when you're not working? What would you do for fun? I try and spend as much time as I can with my family and friends since I've been away for so long. Okay, that's good. Where have they been? No, me. I was travelling. She was travelling. Ask her if she'd consider going out with someone from the podcast. Before I ask her that question, hey, when you were in Bolivia, Shaza, did you go to, is it Route 36 or 26? It's neither. I'm curious. Where's the cocaine store? Shaza? Oh, right. I was just in La Paz for a little bit more time in Peru. Okay. Yeah, I know. I wrote my name on the wall there anyway. Shaza, do you ever come? Do you come to Australia a bit or not much? I am planning to go there in September for a friend's wedding. Where is the wedding at? It's in Perth. You are willing to go to Perth? Pick you up on the way. You always said you go to Perth. You said that you did want to go there. I do want to go to Perth. Do you get a plus one to this wedding, Shaz? No, you can't invite myself to a wedding. That's out of control. You are not inviting yourself. I am inviting you. Do you have a plus one to this wedding, Shaz? Sure, I could get a plus one to the wedding. Oh, that Matthew Brown is going to another wedding. Hang on. Shaza, when we get off the phone here, do you have Instagram? Would you mind adding mattbrown1111 on Instagram? It's four ones. I actually just bought this phone call. Oh, she already does. That's perfect. Maybe you guys can have a conversation. And I seriously think that Michael and I would be happy to pay for the costs of the travel. But if you can get a plus one to that wedding, we would really love to send Matt Brown with you. Oh, no. No. Yeah, dude, we're going on an excursion. No. You're going on an excursion. It's just a fun date. What a better a fun date than a wedding, baby. Yeah, weddings are... I also... ...coming up in February in New Zealand. See, she's moved pretty well. You can go to New Zealand. Yes. See, this is perfect. All right, well, look. This sounds like it could be very promising. Yeah, look. Send us the details of whatever the travel costs are. No. Michael and I will fix that. No. And then we'll just book that in. And then you guys can go on a wonderful date to a wedding you're lucky boy. Hey. I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky.  We should do math. Do the math at the wedding together. Oh, she's laughing. Math and Matt can come out. We'll give you a grand. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Shaza, I've never done math. He said he would for a grand. He said he would for the next boys' trip. They're trying to get me to do it. And I don't want it. You are doing it for the next boys' trip.  So you guys are pretty much together now. No. I reckon that's that. You guys are gone. You guys are now together. That's actually serious. It's actually a serious relationship. Agreed? Okay. We found you a girlfriend. Shaza, it's been really good chatting to you. Thank you for your time, Shaz. And we wish you and Matt all the best. And yeah, like I said, just flip me the bill for the extra travel costs and Michael and I'll fix it.  Stop telling. Stop saying you're going to fly me places and fly people. Happy chatting to Matt Brown. And we wish you guys all the best. We really do. He's got a golden, golden heart in the very center surrounded by hot mints and lust sperm. But in the very center, it's a golden heart. Isn't it, Matt Brown? It just sounds so romantic. Pardon? It just sounds so romantic. Yeah, exactly. And what a beautiful first date we've set up for you guys. You're welcome. All right, Sharon. Have a lovely day. We love you. Matt Brown especially loves you very much more than a friend. And he can't wait to see you at the wedding. See you, Shaza. Love you. See you. Thanks, Shaza. Bye, Shaz. Bye. Bye. You have a girlfriend now. Dude, you have the best date lined up.   Bosley. It's amazing. That's incredible. I just got a bit of sweat dripping down there. Yeah, I like to put it on there. La, la, la, la, la, la. Weeks. That's promising, man. Are you talking to the one from last week? Oh, so two updates.  Yes, two updates. Before we continue with our great Shaza is, and we're going to fly me to different parts of the world. So, yes, last week I had some good. This man, she's coming to live with you. Shada, she's very nice. She's coming. We got him a roommate and now a wedding date. Don't say it because I think she would actually fly here. Yeah, we're serious. And I'm not. What do you mean, Matt? Anyway, anyway, last week, last week we pointed out that Alexi bailed on us. Yeah. Well, she came back with a vengeance. Oh. What happened? Nothing, nothing. She, because I said she just disappeared. I didn't know what happened. And then, boom, she reappeared and sent me some chats. And we've been talking. Send you some chats. Like what? Are you guys floating? Yeah. Oh, I think so. So you've seen her now? She's very, yeah. She's very flirty. It's hard to. She's top three. To be honest, I think trying to call a top three right now is really difficult. Yeah. He doesn't want to, he doesn't want to show his hand yet. I get it. I get it. He wants to keep. Let's write him down.  Hang on, hang on, hang on. No, Michael, we'll do it later. It's going to be a task. Okay. Oh, wow. We really go talk it through. Oh, yeah. She's automatically. Look, Matt, how can you be upset with this? You've got, a roommate if you want it there. You've got a date in Perth if you want it there. You've got girls flirting with you on the ground.    Remember? Yes. All in the space of 12 weeks. It is only a matter of time. You'll be married in our, I reckon, two weeks. Give us another 12 weeks and you should have a wife hanging off your sores. Oh, just sorry. Oh, oh, oh. Oh. Oh. Anyway, moving, moving right along. And that's a cow, which means it's time for a question of comment of the week where we have a shit board where we cut out with scissors and glue onto a board. If you win comment of the week, any comment can win comment of the week. We just quickly scroll through and just pick one at complete random. They're all the previous winners all of the people on that board are in the running to win a thousand another thousand dollars at The end of the year. Okay, so if you get put on this board, you'll have a one-in-thirty-nine chance of winning a thousand dollars at The end of the year. I like those odds cunt Stand by stand by that's solid odds We've picked another comment is so that's a separate competition to just a random comment that's gonna win a thousand dollars So we have common of the week and random comic. There are two competitions. You can both win a thousand dollars He's a grown man Yeah, what Matt said you're very stoned in your delivery of things so I need to be straight with it sometimes Okay, all right We've already done them. Yeah, I just like spraying. It's like cooling. Yeah, I could've got stuff I wonder if people pick up like the difference between the start the bomb break and then the rest of it All right, let's move on all right comment of the week Do we have the comment over the way you sent it to me? What is it Matt what is it Matt what is it Matt what is it Matt all right comment of the week went to Chris Cullen? Yes? And the comment is Matt's dad Greg Oh Chris Cullen so Chris Cullen you're going on the board and you're in the run running to win Well, you're in the rain to win two sets of thousand, but one of them is very good.  No one in thirty nine if you're in the comment I know but he just said another thousand. I don't know what he's talking about two thousand one thousand to two different people in the comments That's two thousand dollars. Yeah, I'm sure odds to one in twenty four point five chance of winning. Yeah, that's right Wow two mates on math you can get if you win two All right, that's was off to some by the way. That's coming in It's not as firm when I do yours Yeah, he's very relaxed and with Matt Brown. It's more like Because he's on a toilet Anyway, you got to be serious about it. All right. Here we go. So these are the questions now these are the questions now Your question or you we read the questions with the most likes, okay?   Not sure where they're from and I can't say the last name is omegragic omegragic Yasco omegragic Question for the podcast. How is Matt Brown going to die? We've said this I don't know we did our deaths. I was a motorcycle accident. What was my was I think some sort of complications with an infection on your test Oh, I don't think that was it. I don't want that one either. Oh, I think that that's how you'll go to be honest I don't like it testicle infection. How would yours be? We said a massive Yeah, we all got I retract that now, I believe my heart is fine blood pressure is doing good Lifestyle still not not as healthy as it can be and I'm still I don't feel my heart beating as much anymore I'm not measuring it because it just freaks me out. What is it now kidney failure?  It's in control, but I get it and now It's in control next question is from Matt dog 99 question for the pockers. What does the term king hit mean? He's obviously not from Australia a king here is a slang term for Just punching someone in the head as hard as you can I think another country to call it a cheap shot. Have you ever been king hit Matt? It doesn't need to be as I think that's a common misconception I could be in a fight with someone that they could be facing me and then I king hit them still It's just as hard. It's like a haymaker that I thought the king hit is when you when you hit someone and they're unaware that they're About to get clean that's a coward punch. Yeah, that's a coward.  What is a king or a legend swing? Heroes punch God yeah, well I'm happy to hear people's opinions on that because I thought it was when you hit him from within. Yeah We've been coward-punched. Oh man. Oh, yeah My tooth goes through my lip once with a coward punch.  I'm pretty sure that I was knocked unconscious Yeah, well, that's what happens.  Yeah, that's really bad again. Yeah, we've been king at heart Yeah, the time in Paris same thing tooth went through the lip. It's so annoying. I've had two three piercing I don't think I've ever been king. I've had twice I've heard the footsteps of someone coming at me and I've ducked and got out of the way But I've never been king hit though How much would it cost for you to let us like someone Brown gets king hit on man, would you how much more would you hit?  We'll do it later. Um, all right next question is from toxic plays Marty Michael, why do farts smell worse in the shower? It's a great like sort of we actually have a new idea Yeah, about that.   It'd be good if we had some golly.  Well as a rice smile on his face, is it getting there how much do this with your fingers show I'm not showing you anything please all I'm gonna tell you is I Have attempted to start it out of curiosity of what would happen to it you test it out to test it out and I couldn't resist like I couldn't resist the golly bottle smelling it just to check after like I can't remember how long and It is quite fucked. It's just dry on the sides. Yeah, it is over you may know it doesn't go dry When you're gonna go like golly, it's yeah, it's it's Not much just don't you worry about how much okay, I can't do I can't do this I can't do this because if I do this everyone's gonna know what masturbating a lot All right, everyone already know just know that it's not a good time. No, you love on it You're getting paid to do your favorite pastime How many loads it is can you keep yes, I know Don't stress. I know how many it is and I will continue whoever can guess it gets a thousand Thousands with the episode before with a reveal will get you guys guess whoever gets it correctly You know you get you have those um though at work, they'll do guess how many smarties are in the job That was a bit out of control yuck they're on my leg My next question is from ringworm D 001 Is there any warning or text calls that go out to the neighbors before a video or a podcast so you don't scare the shit out of them No, not in the neighbors here.  Well, yeah, and they're all cool. They're all lovely people. Yeah, they're all fine Well, they count to Next question is from your face Um You guys have explained before what you think your parents would think about what you do, but um How do you think your parents would describe what you do for a living to someone else? I think mom's told me I think she just says that I I'm a business owner or something or she or Just that I make videos or something like that.  Yeah, I don't know. I think they yeah, I have to ask them They work in the media industry The meat industry, yeah, the media industry Yeah One of those two I think that they would say that Oh, yeah, he's a butcher. He was in the meat industry. He's a butcher. I have no understanding of what we do I Just listen to one. I'll I'm fine prank call about his pigs and just assume that that's what we do The butcher Next question Next question is from clo clo Question for the pod how disgusted or weeded out on a scale of zero to ten Were your girlfriends with the podcast last week PS Bosley is the coolest dude They were fine with it. Yeah, they thought that monthly that held back like 10% and I it's probably right But some people reacted really positively that you and the prank call was one of my favorites Like Rhonda is the best to listen to But yeah, no that yeah, they don't mind they look this happens at home to come Question for the podcast Matt what's the story on your dad getting stabbed in the face was that not prepared?  He was also Being robbed. Yeah, those 7-eleven was getting robbed. Oh, it wasn't just a random attack No, I walked in there The guy walked in there and was wanted to you know make a scene to make sure he got the cash Did he get the cash and he say you got the cash your dad doesn't even have a scar there though No, it's healed up pretty good. He was it was pretty sliced open when it first happened I wish I could have a photo. Did you get a big payout? I don't know. I don't know probably ever call your name You're dad by his name Greg No, it's always times.  Yeah, I'll do that next time I see him. I would love to see that. What do you want me to say?  No on meth The meth would probably make it easier 100% a wood. Oh, wow Wood Um, next question is from from a Romano Peterson I think Would you ever consider doing another series similar to which sport is the scariest? Yes Yeah, look, we want to do a Marty vs. Michael series. I don't know when yet We're working hard to get a backlog of videos.     Well, I reckon two weeks you have a wife two weeks. I'm gonna be married. That's very Very optimistic.  Yeah, sorry you ready? Sorry. Sorry When to see if he goes off again, I'm good Next question I'll sorry last question is from Ed boy con What are what are your guilty pleasures?  I love some treat. Oh Man, it is addictive. I had half a packet of pastels Pastel lollies like sugar coated lollies.  No, that was Sunday.  Yeah, no, you have it like it's a meal and you've learned that habit through your childhood.  I've been eating pretty badly. Hey my back sore from this toilet I Lean back. Yeah, no that hurts. It's cuz my goes into my back.  Get a pillow. Yeah, you get a pillow to put there But you got toilet cover you could put there a lot of things. I got it. All right. Well, we might as well have a Such a good way and we're back look at Bosley everyone see such a perfect animal I got a pillow. Look at his lilies. It's a bit darker than the rest of him Unbelievable. I love it when you like He's nine now nine years old Brown. He fully sighs. He can sign that and I guess Yeah, if we're being too loud or something you'll do that Sign leave if he hasn't had dinner.  Yeah, how are we doing this one now? I don't know if you guys remember but when we first started the German segment It was me reading a German sentence and then giving Michael a few options to choose which what it means Okay, I guess so it's pretty much German or gibberish But it's all German. You have to guess what it means. We'll do we'll do three. Okay. We'll give it a chance We'll do back to it. Thank you Nikki for doing this again Sorry Oh All right Did I explain what we're doing already? I Can't remember. Yeah, what are we doing? I'm very confused. Are you just gonna read it out? Michael's gonna guess. Yeah, so I read out and you can guess to yeah, yeah, yeah, you guess to brown town Not good at this number one Diaz back from fence up Diaz back from fence up Now that could either mean Number one. She's she is away from the window or number two. Nobody cares about her anymore I'm gonna go. Nobody cares about her anymore Okay in the first one because Michael is correct one no muscle one it is it means She's away from the window Let's take the hand me. I'll make a pile for the used ones. We get confused.  I'm struggling from Bosley That could either mean for that. I lay my hands in fire or I promise I swear I reckon it's the first one. Yeah, lay my hands in fire. That was demonic. You're both correct to one to Michael That last word Have you done three yet? It's been a long time. Sorry. This is the third one now So Which could either mean I give up or I throw the towel I throw the towel. Oh Yeah, cuz all is towel of course It's shot. Come on. You don't know that. Yep. You were both correct Michael wins three two All right, and now that is the German segment ever. How did you get paid you go playing along at home everyone? Did you guess three out of three? Let me let us know on the ground. That is good interaction with fans You know us. Do you want to do a punishment? Okay Yeah, well, I will have some thanks.    Yeah, I made it worse though Sorry that will maybe the doctor's okay with you killing him. He was only he wanted to die There's only a doctor. I thought it's only a man The spirit of his hit was not that bad. So you're fine. He only killed just a man It's all right. Show me the mark. Show me the marks. Show me the marks I'm that brown as a little red. Well, I hit him hard with the wooden spoon Now we are moving right along no PR box this week We don't have anything sent in if you do want to send us anything Remember send it to peer box two five six taken four zero one eight Queensland Australia send us whatever you want Send us your body parts and this crazy shit They send us stuff to eat send us stuff to apply to our skin Baby, we'll send me a podcast send me a girl send Matt parts of a girlfriend. I'll put her together You know what I'm saying. Yeah, we should get a mannequin and then whatever you send in at the end of the season Whatever's on the mannequin is your now. That's like a requiefton. We build like a That was my envision for the PR box at the beginning of the season. We're getting what's his name armad The mannequin. Yeah Oh, what was his name? I can't remember. Hey, Mish. Chesna Chesna we build him we put him here and whatever people send in we add to the mannequin I can't know. That's you're there. Why because people are gonna send in parts of themselves We've already got pretty much a person Cubes to put on it Put all over it. We got teeth. Have we got teeth?   We're gonna build a new we have fingernails. Yeah, can we? No, I reckon we're doing it. We have to anyway The t box is gonna be coming and the mannequin goes where the fully actual sign is it goes where that whole bookshelf is so we Can take that out the mannequin goes there if people start smelling us parts of themselves. We will Put it on the mannequin. Okay, where is the mannequin?  We have to dress it in something so some interesting clothes. Anyway. Yeah, I got either Hamish I was like, um Yeah, it's gone Alberto.  Oh, yeah, true All right, prank call time everybody.  We like calling hotels now cuz they're always open Crazy, right?   It's my service pig. I need it with me. I suffer from anxiety I Don't fine. I don't find I have a pick sorry maybe 50 kilo pick and say that the pig Is a dog. No. No. Yeah, and it is an actual dog. I could talk Sam team. Yeah The same thing same exact animal I'm excited Womp, yeah All right, here we go.  We could pre-record Rhonda and then just play her throughout. Oh Yes, let's do that Confusing the listeners those wandering at home. That's Matt Brown playing He's playing. All right, everybody. Here we go. Stay with it. Remember, they'll be able to hear you if you talk into Oh, hello, my name Arnold fine. I need to book a room for maybe two or three night over weekend What date are you looking at? Maybe Friday a Saturday and I not know about Sunday yet. I find out but definitely Friday Saturday No, I just a Google Hotel and you show up at the top there travel to Brisbane need place to stay So what's your phone number this is? Okay? telephone number 04 0 9 04 1 5 5 6 And what was your name my name Arnold fine Arnold AR and or D So you're looking for Friday Saturday night Friday Saturday night. Yes this week this week You understand that you write that down. This week Yeah, not next week this week for sick six may seven may understand Okay, okay. Okay. I just I just make a show So the room rate will be 159 for the night. Would that be okay? Okay? Do you have? cheaper room and what mit Mini bar and such thing does included or extra No, no, we don't have we got a mini bar from the reception. Okay, and that will be extra. Yeah, okay. Okay, so I come I get a mini bar from reception Okay, yeah You want me to book the room for you? Arnold fine. My name Arnold fine Arnold what Arnold fine my name Arnold fine My sir name F uh-huh II and and E Arnold fine. I Okay, I have a question you allow a Service animal in room or not? Do you have the Certificate with you? Yes, I have a service Certificate with me and Yes, I have if you have the service dog with you.  We need no notice here service a peak very similar to dog same size Surface peak is for mental health and He bent over for me a pick thing up and bring me my drink etc. Yeah, my service pick. I have certificate I have Oh, yeah, of course I email the service certificate. Yes Yeah, if you can do that, then I can get back to you with the Booking, you know, okay when I come on Friday, please have a ball of water for the peak And separate towel for the peak. I have shower with a pick. Okay, so make sure Understand Okay, okay, I have certificate what the big problem peak dog Same thing that the same animal Exactly the same animal I already say I happily do the detailer and a little the Discrimination against surface pick surface pick very common Where I from the peak most intelligent Animal even even more than a human even more than human sometimes on my peak. He fixed my car He sees a very intelligent creature a little bit of pool and to hear on dawn the trample through the pool and take it Through the heart does not matter. He'll pay a peak. He saw this pick. He's a sauce pick and he very helpful Now, I will try to look out for you. So thank you. Thank you Okay, let me find the pen here flicking around Okay, okay, I have pen okay what your email Cheeky, I have my pen. Okay, I sent through my paper at a paper from Country in Eastern Europe, so I show you the paper from there my country and Everything okay, but after I show you the papers. I still need a special Ball for pick to eat and Extra towel are very important. Are you write that down? My wife is sick. She cannot come beat me You understand my wife. She's sick at home and the service pick is kind of My portable wife. I take her with me.  I have service talking over no worries, huh?  Oh, yeah, Matt Brown one one one one four ones shit one one one one one chase it Sorry Yeah, anyway guys don't forget like subscribe comment if you had a giggle to give us five star on Spotify Check out our Instagram and tiktok to yeah Let's do all the things that we've said and I can't wait to get out of here and see you all again next week We are best. We are the Matt said it. I love my mom.  Yeah I love my dad. He got stabbed in the face. Oh, that's right. Oh, sorry. You also got attacked by chainsaw. Anyway We'll talk about that next week. See you guys


The 78th session of the United Nations General Assembly opens at the multilateral organization's headquarters in New York City. No single global crisis will dominate this session because the people of the world have seen no resolution to the war in Ukraine, a COVID-19 widespread economic instability and rising inequality, and the clear and present challenge of human-induced climate change. So what is on the agenda and what can we expect from this biggest of meetings of world leaders? And over the weekend, top officials from China and the United States held a quiet round of meetings in Malta. What are the key takeaways from the latest diplomatic efforts to cool tensions between the world's two largest economies? Salam, you're watching The Daily Debrief coming to you from the People's Dispatch Studios here in New Delhi. Before we get into the show, we take this opportunity to ask you to subscribe to our YouTube channel. The great debate at the United Nations General Assembly in New York this year is set to be more fragmented and polarized than ever before. The ongoing war in Ukraine, the lingering political and economic impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly on the global south, the strengthening of regional blocks like the BRICS, the Shanghai Cooperation Organization, and most recently the G77 plus China grouping, floods, fires and rising global temperatures that have already had devastating impact on vast swaths of the planet, nations reeling under debt and without the fiscal space to maneuver out of it. And of course, the economic power of China all form part of the patchwork background for this year's meeting. We are also at the midpoint towards the achievement of the Sustainable Development Goals set in 2015 and largely ignored by the United States and its Western allies. All this has led to loud calls for restructuring both international financial architecture and reform multilateral bodies like the UN Security Council, backed as we reported this week by the current Secretary General of the Organization Antonio Guterres himself. With all this as a little bit of context, let's go over to Abdul now to see if he can boil down what the most critical of these issues that might come up in New York this week are. Abdul, as I was saying in the brief intro that I gave earlier, there's a lot going on in the world today and I think we've asked you to join us this afternoon to maybe try to simplify it for us in a way that we can digest as an audience. What exactly are the most critical aspects that you think might be discussed at the General Assembly this time around? Well, the UN General Assembly annual meet of course discusses all the major problems in the world. That should be that is that has been the practice and this time also is not going to be any different, of course. So, and everyone knows that at this moment the world is primarily obsessed with two major issues. Of course, one is the war in Ukraine and its larger implications across the globe, particularly on the third world countries, the countries of the global south, what we call it or the developing world, particularly its economic aspects. So, if you see the other summits or the meetings which has happened before, the multilateral meetings like G-77, before that G-20 and BRICS and so on and so forth, all of them had a discussion in and around this war in Ukraine. And this time also it is going to be raised by particularly, of course, different set of countries from different perspectives. So, that will be one. In fact, the document which is going to be adopted on Monday before the summit officially starts on Tuesday will also be focused around this issue. But this is not the only issue which the UN summit is going to discuss. There are, of course, major issues raised by the global south in particular about the rising concerns related to debt of the large number of countries, dozens of countries in the global south are on the verge of financially collapsing, primarily because of the kind of debt they have been subjected to, the kind of conditionalities they have been subjected to and particularly by the international monetary organizations, financial organizations dominated by the west. So, that is one major concern from the global south point of view. Of course, the climate issue is also going to be discussed very, you can say meticulously at this time and this is also part of the document as I said before, which will be adopted on Monday. So, UN General Secretary has raised the issue of all these issues in a document which was released earlier, much before the annual summit has started. And it seems that there is, by and large, there is a kind of consensus about at least addressing the issue in this official, you can say agenda document which is going to be adopted on Monday. This meeting is also going to discuss the, particularly from the third world perspective, the countries from the global south and particularly the countries, you can say in the West Asia and in some of the African countries, where there has been a growing feeling about UN being non-representative, UN being not bothered about the concerns of, which are basically related to these countries, particularly, for example, Iran, Syria, and other countries which basically have been subjected to consistent violation of UN charter. So, for example, Israel has attacked Syria on many occasions, Syria has had filed complaints in the United Nations, but on none of those occasions in United Nations Security Council has taken any notice of it. So, Iranians have also complained about how Israelis and the US have been basically violating, attempting to violate the regional peace or the Iran's basically security issues, national issues. And there has been attempt to, you can say, demolish the groups or the international organizations like IAEA, there is an attempt to influence it by the Western countries and the UN has not taken the issue seriously. So, these kind of issues from the African countries, as everyone knows, that there has been recent set of coups in part of Africa and the role the Western countries have played, of course, violates the basic UN charter. And most of the UN issues has failed to address the issues. So, to just to kind of sum it up, apart from the global issues which are, it seems there is a consensus between the West and the South about the financial implications of the Ukrainian war, the climate crisis, the debt. Apart from that, there are also going to be issues raised by the countries which think that UN has not been true to its mandate and there has been many compromises in the last. So, these issues, of course, are nothing new, but they are raised every year, but at least whenever they are raised, there seems to be some kind of political backing behind it. And given the fact that at this moment in the global politics, there seems to be a kind of clear cut division where the West has stopped kind of even voicing, even paying the lip service, which is usually plays a piece about the concerns of the global south early in earlier occasions. It seems there is a complete polarization at the global level and even among the permanent members of the Security Council. And that may play a major role in this summit as well. Last week or over the weekend, Abdul, we were talking about the G77 plus China grouping, which of course it is, it's called the G77, but it represents now over 80% of the world's population, 130 plus countries. Will we see some kind of consensus from these countries, which again primarily represent the global south like you were mentioning on issues like the Sustainable Development Goals, the targets that were set for 2030 when are halfway there. How do you see that aspect because the SDGs are something that as an agenda point have been highlighted by the UN Secretary General as well. Well, that is going to be the central issue of discussion. Of course, as I said before, the document which is going to be adopted on Monday is based around the reports prepared by the UN General Secretary and other UN institutions which basically claim the sustainable development goals which were adopted in 2015 have basically whatever the targets were, the 17 major goals and around 140 subgoals targets which needed to be achieved before 2030 to address the issues of poverty, hunger, illiteracy, inequality, climate concerns and so on and so forth. None of those issues are on target. In fact, only the report, the UN General Secretary report claims that only 15% of the 140 targets are on track and that too may derail any time if the world does not refocus its attention on the sustainable development goals. So, the fact that the only 15% goals are on target indicates that the majority of the countries in the world have failed to do what they committed when they adopted the SDGs in 2015. So, the report says for example that the SDG says that there will be no poverty by 2030 but the actual figures will be that more than 575 million people will be living under the poverty line by 2030 if the current pace of addressing poverty continues. It also says that around 80 to 84 million children will be out of the schooling system, it means they will not get any education which was basically there was a goal that there will be complete literacy, everyone will be in school by 2030. It says that if the current pace continues, the men with women equality which is one of the central objectives of the SDGs will take another 280 years, more than almost 300 years to be achieved materially. Of course, we are not talking about the notional concept of equality, this is the material equality you're talking about, even that is almost 300 years away if this pace continues. So, that shows that all these figures and facts basically show that SDGs have not been taken as seriously as required and that is going to be the focus of the discussion from Tuesday onwards when the world leaders are sitting and discussing the global issues in the UN summit. If we can briefly take another minute or so to just sum up, presumably a lot of this ignoring or not taking seriously enough of the SDGs is also influenced by the positions taken by the countries of the global north and the west in that sense seems to be at least, maybe we are in an echo chamber I don't know but it seems like the west is on a bit of a back foot today as it was even compared to maybe a year ago. How do you view the kind of debate progressing and are there any, can there be any realistic expectations of structural reform like even the UN Secretary General himself very clearly is saying? Well, that is one difficult question to answer, given the fact that the west in particular has adopted basically prioritized geopolitical issues or geo-strategic issues over the basic humanitarian issues which are the goal of this disease in the last few years, it seems that the west is not very serious about it. So if you see the number of countries, particularly the poorer countries being sanctioned by the west in particular, shows itself that these are the countries where the majority of the poor live, these are the countries where the hunger and other issues are there and it is the west basically prevents these countries from achieving, even moving towards that by imposing unilateral sanctions, not approved by UN but imposed by particular individual countries like US and European Union. These are the, and the number of wars they have waged in the last few years and the kind of destructive policies they have promoted. Apart from that, the reversals on the basic commitments to international regime like WTO and climate commitments, they talk about Paris commitments but they fail to provide the basic economic aid which is required to carry forward those goals. So all these things, if you see club them together, it seems that the rest, as I said before, has prioritized geo-strategic and geopolitical goals over the humanitarian needs of the world and that basically is the basic reason, one of the basic reasons which defeats the entire objective of this disease and derails it from its real actual path. Alright, thanks very much Abdul for setting the stage for what should be an interesting week in New York City at the United Nations General Assembly and of course we will hopefully have you back on the shore to kind of sum up if there are any real developments that emerge out of this meeting. In the latest attempt to ease a tense relationship, the National Security Advisor to the President of the United States, Jake Sullivan met with Chinese Foreign Minister Wang Yi who is an important figure both in the Chinese Communist Party as well as the Chinese Government. Session to place in Malta and could perhaps set the tone for a meeting, a future meeting between Presidents Xi Jinping and Joe Biden later on in the year. A White House readout on the meeting said several key issues were discussed including of course peace and stability across the Taiwan Strait. Despite hopes to the contrary, China-US relations have nosedived under the Biden administration and we go across now to Anish to put all of this into some kind of context for us. Anish, we were talking previously to Abdul Rahman about the UN General Assembly and was slightly to happen there as well as on the sidelines. In a sort of similar context, particularly the economic power that China wields today is a crucial aspect in global politics. Given the recent meeting between the US National Security Advisor and the Chinese in Malta, how do you view sort of the scenario at present? Were there any positive developments from the meeting that you would care to talk about in terms of what the two biggest economies in the world are doing and whether this sort of escalation from the United States of all kinds of pressure on China is likely to continue or will we see a potential cooling of relations? Well, the one, the meeting with Wang Yi by the National Security Advisor is not really, you know, it's not lacking substance, obviously there was a lot to be talked about, but the outcomes are quite easy because we are not very sure what it can actually lead to. There are no commitments, obviously, but there were very clear statements being made, especially from the Chinese side who told the US basically that there is a red line when it comes to Taiwan and the US cannot cross it. And that was pretty much at the heart of the discussions there and the fact that the foreign minister is meeting the National Security Advisor and not his counterpart also shows that this was more of a defense security kind of meeting. And so definitely recent kind of overtures that you've seen on the military front, especially across the Taiwan Strait and also, you know, in the general vicinity of Taiwan, not just from China side, but definitely from the US and Taiwan side, especially Taiwan, which has started dragging in a lot of other foreign players in Japan and Philippines and, you know, also people that do not have any kind of claims to the island who has a different kind of history, it's not the kind of history that requires, you know, is positive in many ways. And definitely provoking the Chinese side to conduct joint military drills, increasing naval operations in the region. And even, you know, the menu was by Air Force military from both sides have actually created a situation that is quite tense and we have talked about this, you know, Taiwan being turned into a sort of flashpoint between two great powers and that is definitely what the Chinese also wants to avoid. And we are seeing that the Chinese wants to make very clear that there is a proper China policy that is not something that just China, but also the government in Taiwan, the constitution in Taiwan, which also serves the Republic of China also and which the United States has endorsed in the 1970s, and that those pretty much the entire world divides by and there is literally no question about South China, but definitely the US has been pandering to a lot of decisions and that is not something that Chinese will stand by. We were also talking about the sort of growing pressures on the West in many ways, countries of the global South kind of coming together, whether it's regional organizations or groupings like the G77 plus. In the China-US context, it's not a good thing for the rest of us that these two great powers as you mentioned are not getting along. Do you see, given the General Assembly is also meeting and so many multilateral meetings are taking place, do you see the opinions of other nations, whether it's from Asia or allies of the United States coming into play in these conversations? And sort of working towards what is for maybe a larger good? Well, it's very difficult to say because even as we speak, the United Nations General Assembly is pretty much becoming a battleground of sorts. We are seeing the landscape being platformed by the West a lot. We are seeing the Ukraine issue being raged up quite heavily and there is definitely a certain level of other, you know, obviously certain other issues that the United States is trying to raise, which are not, especially the recent input in summit and that is definitely not going down well with not just Russia or North Korea, but also China, because a large part of that is also targeted at the Chinese influence in the region or its allies in the region. And that is definitely going to have its own impact and that's pretty much why we see the Chinese vice president and not the president or the foreign minister being part of the assembly. And that clearly shows that the Chinese and even with the meeting with Lincoln that is happening right now on the sidelines of the General Assembly, we clearly seeing a certain level of wariness. Obviously, China wants to talk, wants to see diplomatic channels and options available at all times at every given chance, but it really does not trust the Americans to go through with a lot of their promises. We have seen in the past that that has been, you know, a lot of promises being made or even commitments being made by the US has been met with other sorts of provocations, which kind of contravene the spirit of those comments in the recent, you know, in the previous set of summits. So that is not something the Chinese is not aware of it, pretty much is aware of it and is quite wary of whatever the US has to offer at this point. All right, Anish, we'll leave it there for now. Thanks very much for that update. And with that, we bring to a close this episode of the daily debrief and begin our week's coverage of the news beyond the headlines. As always, we take this opportunity to invite you to head to our website peoplesdispatch.org for details on these stories and all of the other work we do. Don't also forget to give us a follow on the social media platform of your choice. We'll be back same time, same place tomorrow. Until then, thanks as always for watching. Stay safe. Goodbye.