Hi everyone, Joe for jaspyscasebreaks.com. Happy Saturday coming at you with the last break of our night 2020 Panini Donnery's Optic football team all edition All 20 boxes of the team all edition right there So there you go all card ship a lot of great stuff in here. We're looking for so team all is like a big e-commerce site in China Basically Asia edition. We're looking for the red star parallels So those are the special basically rookies red top-tier rookies red star parallels That's what we're looking for. I think the autographs are are fewer and far between big. Thanks everybody here. We finally did it Thanks to everyone who bought their spot straight up congrats again to the winners of these spots and all 32 teams are in good luck This is a 2020 version six and two eight times her names and teams one two three four five six Seven and eighth and final time after eight. We got Jesse down to Phil Six into two eight times for the teams. Good luck one two three four five six Seven and eighth and final time after eight.  We'll keep the video running. We'll keep it a short trade window Denver Maybe Arizona Arizona Denver, maybe maybe not If you're watching if you're rewatching this video, obviously you can fast forward through the trade window part All right trade window going once trade window going twice No, thanks is mark. Okay, or no, thanks is Hank. All right TWC trade window close. Let's print and let's rip AJ Pollock with a single to a nice got Dodgers Padres on in the TV in the background. This has been a pretty good series First few games in San Diego. I think the Dodgers took two out of three Now this one's a four game series Padres has taken the first two but the Dodgers with a slim lead 5-4 the bottom of the seventh But a lead off lead off single is nice Right It's the Asia edition made in the USA. I could say printed it here sent it over there and then after a certain amount of time They've got the Exclusivity I think for X amount of time and then it comes back here And that's why we are able to get it now. All right, so here's all Ten box in the first row ten boxes in the bottom row Final printout right here Wait, did Muncie hit a home run or are you guessing a home run Terry? I got one and two on Muncie right now Not see home run would be nice All right, Julian Okwara to 75 is your first autograph for the Lions That'll be for Kevin Hull and so that nice Tom Brady right here So that is your red star parallel right here, and that's pretty nice That's an exclusive Hank. Hank got randomized the Buccaneers with a spot. He bought straight up I'm gonna clave on chasing rookie. Hollow. We got Deandre Hopkins red star and a rated rookie Red star here cam acres. See the rookies are the ones we're looking for for these exclusive parallels Phil Klein with the Rams Joe Mixon Josh Allen and Jeff Gladney rated rookie Ben DiNucci back here Nice go AJ. Oh No, the red red stars are not numbered. I Think it's just an exclusive parallel to this set Cam Newton, Cortland Sutton and T Higgins red star Bengals Matt Lieber and Vikings by the way was David Razer with the Jeff Gladney Cam acres Rams that'll be Phil Klein once again We got Daryl Taylor 16 out of 60 First handful of box two autographs Seahawks Matthew Shearer 16 out of 60 on that one Jake Luton Devon Bush and John Hightower and a Joe Burrell rated rookie card for Matt Lieber and the Bengals There's a John. There's a rookie red star for the Eagles Kobe Kobe Chan with that one and a Patrick Mahomes red star and a Kishan Vaughn right here, too Oh, no, we have to both sides obviously have to confirm the trade mark Hank said no, thanks And then I closed the trade window if the trade is official then it'll appear on that sheet All right, Kishan Vaughn for the Buccaneers and Hank and the Patrick Mahomes red star that goes to Kyle Cook and the Chiefs For that has some nice value on the secondary market, too AJ Dylan rated rookie hollow JJ Watt and Julie Noquara and Brian Edwards My homies Patrick Mahomes is nice And there's the hollow AJ Dylan and the next one The other gross mottos hollow TJ Watt and a Clyde Edwards II layer rated rookies red star So another one for the Chiefs another one for Kyle Cook. Oh double play Oh safe Safe off the back off the back KJ Osborne to 99 Rookie autograph for David Razer and the Minnesota Vikings Van Jefferson Rated rookie hollow for the Rams filled Bobby Wagner and Cesar Ruiz red stars Antonio Gibson and the 10th box KJ Hamler rated rookie red star parallel KJ Hamler right there as well another 10 boxes. Yeah, he was definitely he was definitely out Let's open up the last 10 boxes all at once here No runs in the eighth OBS some insurance runs for the Dodgers would be nice In the next frame Twitter would melt down Terry if they didn't overturn that call Twitter would just be like what? Why don't we even have replay if the guys in New York can't I didn't realize that that all-state current I was an actual that's an actual song Pet Shop Boys, I think All right last 10. Good luck Darnell Mooney, there's a Justin Jefferson rated rookie card there David Razer. He had a great rookie campaign I like this photo right here Darnell Mooney stay loose It's kind of a speedy dude. He's got to keep those legs loose big playmaker right here for the Bears That's gonna be for Oliver. There's another Brady. There's Davante Adams Josh Uchi I wonder what do you think that red star Brady goes for? I know there's some value in these base cards Definitely the hollows But the red star Brady if we look that up. I'm curious now.  So you're using this chooster and chase young red stars We got a Tom Brady red stars sold for Someone sold that can't be right 2021 optic team all football Tom Brady red star super short print It's the same picture. I have there $475 Canadian that's the same same. It's not like a variation or anything like that. Wow so what's someone What's 475 Canadian to US dollars? Is that three 350? This is Terry. Is that the conversion? To American dollars There's CD lamb rated rookie red stars. Wow. Well, there you go Hank. That sale was on Friday the 23rd So I was a very recent sale There you go, man Tom Brady first time in his buccaneers uniform another Super Bowl under his belt There's Chase Claypool plus the red stars exclusive parallel. Yeah, now it's 350 bucks That's for the Steelers. That'll be for Kevin Hall Quintez Cephas. Yeah. Hey, no, I mean, it's good It's good to look these up just so we just so we all have an idea of what pricing can be on some of this Sometimes people just go in go into it somewhat blind. Oh, nice strike out for Matrado sometimes people just join a break just to join a break and not really realize like how big a card could be Especially if it's a non rookie card, you know There's Tyler Johnson and people were sleeping on this break. That's another buccaneer for Hank So all I'm sure all of those buccaneers Super Bowl chance all those red star parallels will add up All right, a few more to go Rated rookie hollow chase young T. Y. Hilton and Jordan Brooks Red stars Did you look up the Mahomes Terry saying the Mahomes red stars going for a few hundred bucks to chiefs That's for Kyle Cook. Nice Nick Chubb and my boy Brian Edwards Feel like he could have a big season this year for my Raiders Steve Birch with the Raiders got the Raiders with the spot that he won Sometimes receivers take a little bit of time To kind of ease into the league yet some injuries to He's a pretty big target Good catch radius. I want to say we got you know, Benjamin 41 out of 75 Tried to trade couldn't trade mojo for mark and the Cardinals 41 out of 75 Cardinals autograph rookie autograph. There's lights Kamara action Julio Jones and Grant del pit All right, so we didn't see any of the big quarterbacks unfortunately or the big rookie quarterbacks I should say but we did see the Mahomes. We did see the Tom Brady got a few autographs out of this case So pretty nice stuff. I'm sure we'll try to try to get some more of this. So next time you see it I've got a feeling that it's probably gonna move a lot faster than this one did now that people have an idea of Now we have an idea of what we can pull out of here We did go we did get a Joe Burrow rated I was hoping for like a red stars Justin Herbert or Burrow or two or something like that Not bad though. Not bad. Not bad. And there you go. There you have it ladies and gentlemen I'm Joe for Jasper's case breaks calm. That was a full case break of 2020 Panini Donner's optic football team all addition 20 boxes of some really nice stuff random team break number one I'm Joe for Jasper's case breaks calm. Thanks for watching. Thanks for breaking with us. I'll see you next time for the next break


as the commander of the Air National Guard Readiness Center. He ensures the mission readiness of over 108,000 military and civilian personnel in 9 twins in 175 geographically separated units throughout the 50 states of the District of Columbia, Puerto Rico, Guam, and the Virgin Islands. And catching this pitch is National's victory chat since his role. Major General McDonald, when you are brave, it's your pitch. Record wildfires and storms, civil unrest, and other homeland purchases. National Guard soldiers and airmen answered at every call for help, whether at home or overseas. As the combat reserve of the Army and the Air Force, we are trained and equipped to fight our nation's wars.


I'm David Brown, CEO and co-founder of BroadBit Batteries, and I'm here to talk to you today about revolutionary battery technology We're commercializing based on common cheap raw materials First a few words about the market This is today about a 60 to 70 billion dollar market for rechargeable batteries But that's expected to grow in the next decade to decade and a half to more than a trillion Due to for instance electric vehicles and grid stabilization due to renewable energies That is being driven a lot by regulation and the big news recently was that Germany was going to outlaw internal combustion engines by 2030 But other nations are actually outlawing that sooner even 2025 But existing batteries today can't meet those needs. They're far too expensive. They're far too slow to charge They're of limited capacity. They're too short-lived and have to be replaced too often They're too heavy and reduced performance of vehicles They're dangerous and explode and they're resource limited because they're based on rare earth metals like lithium and cobalt In short, they're too high-cost too low performance and of limited scalability What BroadBit has done is invented a revolutionary battery Technology based on a brand-new innovation. We use salt table salt sodium chloride to store energy It's the first battery in the world that does that and it's actually extremely high performance Better than the best lithium ion on the market today. The other main ingredients are equally cheap essentially. We make batteries out of dirt In addition to their cheapness due to the abundant materials we have unprecedented performance I have here a graph of the competing batteries for instance LCO batteries are what's used in Tesla the world's best batteries We're better than them in the lab already We also have simple manufacturing our batteries are non flammable and robust They can survive a wider temperature range and these are third-party verified for instance by Fraunhofer Institute in Germany and a number of customers That adds up to extremely high performance extremely low cost 50% the cost per kilowatt hour of existing lithium-ion batteries There are competitors out there There are people making lithium-ion batteries better But at extremely high cost and there are people doing Alterior chemistries with cheaper raw materials, but always at lower performance Broad bit is the only company that can both improve performance and lower cost That means that there are brand new markets open for batteries that didn't exist before We are for instance exhibiting here at the Airbus booth one of our partners to make electric airplanes This is sufficiently close costs to finally replace to allow a grid storage for grid stabilization And to replace the hundred and fifty year old lead acid battery in cars Our go-to-market plan is to start with niche products for instance onboard units Aftermarket products and cars on interoperable power supplies and drones and then moving on to the first trillion-dollar market Which is electric vehicles and then the second multi trillion-dollar market, which is grid storage our business is simple we Control our magic sauce, which is the battery components and sell those on to assembly by third parties Thank you, David and give it up for David And please now the jury the questions Have you tested at scale or are you still in the lab? We are what's the largest battery you've made we can make batteries 18650 standard batteries I have one in my pocket here that you can play with So this is what we're making now. These are made by hand at the moment But by the end of next year will be producing about a hundred and fifty thousand a year of those the next year We'll be producing multi-million Questions, so have you ever basically showed this battery to some of the large producers like Tesla or anybody on the market like Feedback, let's say the only marketing we've done is occasional pitches like this And we are in contact with virtually every major automotive and battery manufacturer in the world and they have found us We have not found them Okay, so what was the feedback from this kind of large corporations? They need it sell it to us so Cool, so what's the plan now in the next six to nine months? Where do you want to be then? Yeah, so we're finishing up R&D. We're now at about 200 cycles for our battery So we have to reach about 500 cycles before we go to market as a reference a year ago We were at 10 cycles so we think in a few months will be able to reach the 500 We're already sourcing our manufacturing equipment for our components Those will be installed middle to late next year and we'll start producing at the end of next year First production will be in Finland next production. Who knows where? What was the team like so we have all experience entrepreneurs all experience engineers and scientists Myself I have this is my sixth startup company. I've raised and managed about 40 million euros I have about 250 patents to my name. Andres Kovacs is our CTO. This is his second startup He's already had one exit company a la Sarella. This is also his second startup and David Lloyd The Finland's best electrochemist Can you talk a bit more about the business model? So you said you kind of let others assemble assembled the battery why that is that yeah So our secret sauce is in the in the battery components in the chemistry The assembly can be done by third parties with existing lithium ion equipment So there's no reason for us at this point to invest in that That's actually the most cost it cost intensive part of the of the production process is the assembly So that take that's a 50 to 100 million factory million minimum We can build our component factory for about 5 million So the final so the final product do you sell it to clients or is them so we sell both ways We can either sell using white label manufacturers and sell under our brand or sell components to sell under existing brands So what would you say is the core innovation here? What what what makes this special? I mean salt and coal is everywhere. Yes. What did you do to make that a battery? We figured out how to make a battery out of it Tell me more so the basic concept is we started with the periodic table and crossed off every element that was expensive hard to get Toxic or dangerous and what was left we thought about how to make a battery from that And what's the core invention the core invention is the use of sodium chloride on the cathode side And metallic sodium on the anode side both of which are extremely high energy density and and also the use of a New electrolyte that has very high electromobility about five to seven times more than lithium ion So I will probably just rephrase this question a little bit So what stops other producers like in I know that guys in China from doing the same type of battery now That's a know-how so we have one patent granted We have about another 20 inventions in the pipeline and we have some key know-how that we will not put in patents That we keep to ourselves and the business model is we make the special sauce ourselves. We don't license that out And we license out the assembly and the other processes that are less Liable to be stolen. All right. That's it for the question. Thank you so much David. Thank you


Welcome everyone to the Being Human podcast. This is Scott St. Marie here. Thanks a lot for joining. This can be such a source of discontent, of unhappiness, of rumination, of really putting yourself down and igniting that inner critic. Because the audience for this channel, we have a lot of tools within us and I think a lot of us strive and we really try hard to be better. So it's not necessarily that you need to try harder because I think I know a lot of you and I've heard from a lot of you, not just in the comments but emails and people who've joined Patreon and things like that. And as I've mentioned before, if being hard on yourself worked, it would have worked by now. You know what I'm saying? So you think you don't have life figured out and it's causing you some stress. It's causing you some anxiousness. It's causing you maybe to feel a little ungrounded, a little unsure, like you're in empty space. Can we unpack this together for a little bit? Would that be all right? Let's unpack it. Because I know you've said this to yourself before because I have because every single human being has. I just don't got it together. I just don't have this whole thing figured out. Who does? Name me. Can you do me a favor? Name me one person that you know in your mind that has it all figured out. They've got the job maybe, they've got the family, the success, they've got the money, they have their own purpose, they have faith, whatever it is. Who has it 100% figured out? Maybe you came up with a name. Have you ever sat down with that person and been honest and said, well, how you doing? If they offered you any humility and grace, they'd probably be like, well, I got some things figured out. I know what I'm doing some of the time, but there's other things I'm guessing at. There's other things I'm not sure what's going to happen. There's other parts where I'm totally uncertain, the unknowns right there, and I'm just doing my best. I'm just seeing what happens here in this part. In my experience, what happens when I feel like I don't have things figured out? It's one or two things in my life that maybe aren't going well, that maybe I don't have things decided, that maybe I'm unsure about the outcome of certain things. And I take those and it creates a whole umbrella over me in a cloud that's like, Scott has nothing figured out. And it's this whatever accent that was. Scott has nothing figured out. And it's dark umbrella. And I'm like, but it was just a few things I'm not certain of. But now my whole life is just, nope, nothing's going well. You got nothing figured out. Absolutely nothing. So what is figuring out actually me? When do you use those words? Let's unpack this whole thing. I got time. Do you have some time? Let's unpack it together. What are you in a rush for? If you're like looking to escape this podcast, cool, cool, cool, but what are you in a rush for to figure something else out to look for a different solution to figure out the thing that you're challenged with? Let's break this apart because this is probably, these are two words that you've probably used a lot figured out. I got to figure it out. They have it figured out. She has it all figured out. He has it really figured out here. We use it usually when we're trying to solve a problem. We're confronted with like a challenge. And I got to figure this thing out. I got to figure this out. And then when we do, oh my gosh, I figured it out x equals 3.7. Sorry to bring up some traumatic memories from high school algebra.  Oh my gosh. Instead of learning useful things, we're solving for x for 70 minutes a day. Let's change the curriculum world. Why? Okay. Anyways, you had it figured out. And to be honest, it felt good when you figured out that equation though. It felt good. Or oh my gosh, I figured it out. We're redoing the kitchen. The stove is going to go on the east wall because that's where the gas hookup is. Okay. Cool. Oh, I figured it out. If I take the 511 bus, it's going to go to the subway. And then I'll be right at the dentist's office. Oh, I figured it out. If I put on the loose pants when I jog, it's not going to chafe against the thighs. And I'm not going to get blisters in the groin. These are challenges that we face, small or big. And when we figure stuff out, it feels kind of good. Okay.  The arrival doesn't happen. It does in little moments, moment to moment when we're present. You arrive here, right? You arrive in the moment. Any spiritual guru or meditation teacher, right? It's like, let's come on back and arrive in your seat right now. Where did you go? Your head was out in space, comparing, ruminating, thinking about the future, the past. Arrive back here. Figuring out is the arrival as time goes on. It's not figuring out the ultimate purpose, the ultimate thing. Even if you haven't figured out what you want to do with your life, how many of you have thought about that? What am I going to do with my life?  No offense. I'm talking to myself there too. That's not a useful question at all. First of all, when we talk about figuring life out, a lot of people usually equate that to what am I going to do for work? And let me just tell you, work cannot fulfill every human need, every human desire. Not a chance. It doesn't matter how much you love your work. It's not going to complete or fulfill anything, and it shouldn't. So what am I going to do and figure out what to do for work? That's one part of your life. It's a one part. I do presentations to high school students.   I got to figure this out in six months because I got to apply for my future. I got to apply for what I'm going to do the next 60 years. The figuring out comes in stages, phases where we're hit with challenges, and we just need to figure out one thing at a time, maybe two, maybe three. Sometimes it comes at us in waves. Sometimes it's just bite-side. The thing we need to be gentle with here is not to put pressure on yourself, to have to have all of the answers. Nobody has all of the answers. The closest answer I've been able to come up with about this whole thing is, how can I be with the unknown a little easier? A little gentler? How can I be with the unknown with a little more kindness? Sometimes that's the answer for me, is be compassionate with the unknowing, with the uncertainty. Because there's no way we can know everything. There's no way we can figure out everything all at once. It's by living. It's just by going through day to day that you begin to figure things out as you experience more. That's all it is. It's not an equation that you can do. X equals this, I figured it out. That's in the classroom that's on the chalkboard. That's not in life. And sometimes I wish it was. I wish I could just solve an equation and the thoughts would be done. The ruminating would be done. Life would be easier. I know, I wish that sometimes for sure. That's not the way it goes. Unfortunately, unfortunately. Sometimes we just have to sit with ourselves and realize, oh my gosh, am I ever comparing to other people? Thinking they have it all figured out. But I know nothing about them. Think about it. Think about how we keep score, right? Comparising sometimes is just how we keep score in life, right? Like, they're doing this. I'm doing this. Oh, it looks like they're here. I'm down here. I'm up here. They're down there. The mind loves to compare.  Sure, you can keep score, but what an unfair advantage for them.  What happens outside of work, outside of the personals, you know, nothing about what's going on, even to your best friend. We can only come so closest to relate.  What an unfair game? Nobody has it figured out. Nobody does. I'm telling you, the more people you meet, from the presentations I've done all around North America, from the virtual ones to the in-person ones to talking to kids, to high school students, to university students, to CEOs, corporations, people my age, workers, in tech, and in finance, and in the arts, it actually brings me peace to know that we're all just doing things a little sporadically, doing the best we can with the tools that we have at this moment.  You can't. This brings me actually to something that I really want to talk about here. That's actually been helpful to me in these times of not being able to figure things out. Because sometimes I don't have it figured out. A lot of us, a lot of the doers on this channel are like, well, I better come up with a game plan. Instagram told me I need some rules for life here, so I better order my life, my morning routine, matcha latte, exercise at 6am, gratitude journals, yoga for three hours, then I'll do the work, then I'll have coffee after I wake up, get some sunlight. Oh, I heard that's good for the dopamine levels. I heard that's good for serotonin. Oh my goodness, we're driving ourselves into more rumination to be so strict with routine in our schedules and what is good for us and it puts us in the absolute center. And when we are the center, we overthink. When we are the absolute center of the universe, what's anxiety other than that? I've used this app called Aura. Oh my gosh. And it's the sponsor for this video, Amazing Meditation app. Amazing Meditation app. I was using it the other day. Okay. Over 7 million people have used this app. You should see the reviews on the Apple store. Go check it out and I'm giving you a personal review. They're so kind to have given me access to this app to try it out a few months back. I use it for sleep. I know a lot of you use the meditation apps for sleep. You have to try some of these. There's CBT, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques on here. There's breath work exercises. There's four minute gratitude practices. There's coaches on here. It's like your Apple Music or Spotify, but for meditation. And sometimes when I... I'm going to say the word can't. When I can't sit and practice meditation on my own, I need somebody else to carry me straight up. I need another voice to carry me through that. I can't focus on my own. Sometimes I can't focus on the breath. I need somebody else to instruct, to lead me through and to guide me. That's why I use the Aura app. What you can do is today, you can try it for free. You can try it for free. The links in the description, the first 500 people actually get a discount of 25%. It's only five bucks a month after your free trial for thousands and thousands of meditations from amazing people all over the world. I can't recommend it more. Please, please, please take advantage. The links in the comment as well, the first comment as you scroll down. And then it's in the description. Please give it a try. And I just like to thank Aura for sponsoring this video. It means a lot because when we're after the sense, listen here, this is the most important part of the podcast now, because it finally just came to me. There's a lot of babbling and I hope it's maybe calm you down a bit because I don't have it all figured out, man. I don't. You think I got it figured out? Life figured out? I'm doing a podcast in Toronto. I speak to people about mental health mindfulness. I get the imposter syndrome. Who am I to speak about this stuff? I still deal with depression and anxiety. Oh my. Now I'm doing my masters of science and neuroscience. I don't know where it's going to lead me. I don't have, I don't have the outcome. And when we think we needed to have it all figured out, we're always looking for the outcome. Listen, listen, listen, listen, listen, sit down, sit down for a second and listen closely when you're trying to figure stuff out. You're focusing on what it will give you in the future because if I haven't figured out now, my future's secure and when my future's secure, I can finally be present and be at peace. So what you're really looking for is a sense of peace when you think about, I got to figure it out. To get that sense of peace, my friends, I promise you, you don't have to have it all figured out. You don't because nobody does and peace is still possible with the unknown. The future is always unknown to a degree. Of course it is. Who predicted what would happen in 2020? Did you predict I would just say this word? Chicken fingers. You had no idea that was coming. Okay. So we're always dealing with a little bit of unknown unpredictability in the future. The whole point here is to sit and to realize I'm going to put together what I can with what's challenging me, what's unsettling me, what maybe I can figure out and solve, figure out in the moment. But then it's kind of like, let it be. Let it go a little bit. Let the stream carry you for a while just like I let a voice carry me through meditation. Let the wind carry you for a little while. Let a stream carry you for a little while. Be a little bit on the stream. Be a leaf. Let it take you a bit. We've been trying to fight against the current for so long and that's where a lot of depression and anxiety can come from the feelings that I need to be in control. I need to be in control. I get to choose the pace. I get to choose the pace. What would happen? Just let it come. If you just let the stream carry you for a little bit and see what happens. And see what happens. So I'm taking my master's degree, right? I'm paying all this money to study and I love what I'm studying and I'm going to be so happy to be sharing what I'm learning about mental illness, mental health, the biological mechanisms, the psychological mechanisms that are happening and give you even more tips absolutely free on this beautiful platform. I can't wait. But as far as what that will do for me in two years from now when I get that degree, I don't know. Can you just let the moment be enough for you right now? In this moment right now when you're listening to this wherever you are, if you're looking at me, if you're listening on your headphones on the podcast, if you're sitting down in this very moment where you are right now, what needs to be figured out? Now I see you got your mind going again. No, no, no. In this moment where your feet are on the floor, when you're sitting down listening to my voice right now, look at me in the eyes and tell me I'll take off my glasses. Now I look weird. Look at my eyes right here. What needs to change in this very moment right now for you to be at peace? No, right now.  What needs to change? There you go. There you go. Be easy with yourself, my friend. You don't need it all figured out. You really don't. I don't. Nobody does. Join the party. Join the club of us. Just taking one step at a time and seeing how it goes. Ease the pressure on yourself. And when we ease the pressure, what's pressure? Pressure is the limited space we give ourselves, right? We got a sponge, all the holes and stuff. What happens when you push down SpongeBob? I can't do a SpongeBob voice. Squished, but oh, when we relieve the pressure, SpongeBob can be its wacky cool self. Take off the pressure. Give yourself some space, my friend. You don't need to have it all figured out. One step at a time. I'll tell you one step at a time. Breathe. Be here. Do the best you can. You want to repeat that with me? I'm going to breathe. I'm going to do the best I can. And that's enough. Oh, say it one more time. I'm going to breathe. I'm going to do the best I can. And that's going to be enough. One more time, though you didn't believe it, but you're just going to breathe. I'm going to do the best I can and that's going to be enough. One more, I'm going to breathe. I'm going to do the best I can. And that's going to be enough. I hope to see you very soon. Thanks for listening all the way through. You got this, my friend. Figured it out? Psssh. I hope you don't. If you got it figured out, man, that'd be boring. I wouldn't even want to talk to you if you had it all figured out. That's boring stuff. That's boring. Keep yourself guessing a little bit. Stay on your toes, but not so much, where you're peeking over everything and too caught up in the future. Ground yourself, chill out a little bit, man. I'll see y'all soon. Take care.


The second key pillar, getting goods to market. What's that about? Well, it's about our natural port advantage right here. We are on the west coast of Canada, and that's why we say Canada starts here. Our great ports in Prince Rupert, in Vancouver, Stuart, British Columbia, Kitimat, all create unique opportunities. And then when you overlay that with the airports like Prince George, like Cranbrook, like Clona, like Victoria, like YVR, like Canloops, all of the key airports, we've got a natural advantage, and particularly into the Asia Pacific. So we need to build on that. We need to make sure that our infrastructure is smart, that it's in the right place, and that we have the capacity and that there's no weak links in the chain. And that's why we're so focused on making sure that we have the right competitive infrastructure in place.


Hello, and welcome back into the coaches corner. I'm joined now with Graham Miller, the women's soccer head coach, Stevenson University. And coach, take me through some of your thoughts from last week. Yeah, I think it was an interesting week. We came off that tough loss to Gettysburg and St. Mary's the week before.  So we went with a little bit of a formation change. And we were really excited about the two games that we had last week. And they were both tough. We started with Catholic. And Catholics, they were 3-0 coming into the game. They're regionally ranked. So we knew it was going to be a tough game. And we just thought it's low. Down 2-0 at the half. But we figured some things out at the half. And really, it was a great effort in the second half. We ended up losing that game 2-1. But it wasn't for lack of trying. We hit the crossbar. A goalkeeper made a save in the last minute. And I was proud of the way the girls responded after a poor first half. They really came out. And they're starting to click a little bit better, which is good. So it was a tough one to take, because I thought we could have won it, or at least tied it up. It was good that we definitely could see a good performance. And you use a little bit of a short memory. Kind of freaking about the game move on to Frostburg State and get a good result 2-1 against them, with a lot of great scoring chances and more finishing. Yeah. And that was the thing. We talked about it last week in the coaches corner that we did have to have a short memory after that rough performance against St. Mary's. And they really did. And even at halftime of the Catholic game, they really settled down and get into a rhythm for the second half. And we outshot them. And then Frostburg came in on Friday with a one day rest. And we were excited for it. And the girls really put the last three losses behind them and came out on fire. And it's the first game since our first game that we outshot the other team, 21 to 11. So very impressed with the way they came out. And yeah, you're right. We had a lot of chances. And it was good to get that win. And now looking forward to this week, Salisbury coming in, of course, on Wednesday. And then you talked about getting on top, scoring early. How important is it going to be to do that or at least have the shot advantage in this Salisbury game? Yeah, and that's the big thing with the Frostburg game is we came out with intensity. We came out with passion. And we had a great start. I mean, we had so many shots in the opening period. And to go in at halftime with the lead was the girls felt good about it. And we're going to have to do that again. Salisbury is a very good team. They don't lose too many games. They're actually their first loss on Saturday. Just came to Catholic in overtime, 3-2. So they're going to be a tough team. And then we've lost to them the last three years. So we need to start fast. And we need to get a goal if we can early. And then that'll help us settle down. And being back at home again, it's going to be great to be there on Wednesday. And home again on Saturday with Haverford coming in. Yeah, and Haverford, they've only lost one game so far. And their one loss was Arcadia, or Mac Conference, full Arcadia, who are 8-0, I think, right now, 8 or 9-0 right now. And we're receiving votes last week. I'm sure they're going to be ranked this week, since they just beat number 14, Mitch Ricordia. So Haverford obviously has a good start to the season. And we lost to them 1-0 last year. So another big game for us on Saturday. And then randling out this home stand before moving out onto the road and into conference play. How important are these last few home games going to be for you with that crowd out there? Well, that's it. We've got to get on a roll before conference play. We haven't done that. I'm hoping that that win on Friday will help kick-start us in these last three games at home before we get into the conference. And with changing things up, we're just trying to get in a rhythm. We're trying to gel a little bit better. And I'm just excited to see what we can do on Wednesday first. Great. And good luck, Coach, on Wednesday with Salisbury. Thanks, Joe. He's Graham Miller. I'm Joe Wamba. And this has been the Coach's Corner.


I'm sorry, you can see I'm very passionate about it. Rests for drugs were more important than other stuff because it was seen as such as this big, huge problem. Why me? I know people that have had a lot more traumatic upbringing than me that aren't paramedic substance users. So we should say thank you to Neil Woods, shouldn't we, off the bat, who's put us in touch? Yeah, sure. Did a podcast for our friends at home with Neil the other day. Neil worked prolifically, if that's the right word, in the undercover substance misuse area. And at the end of our podcast, Neil said you should speak to Suzanne. And that's what we're going to do. So I tuned in the other night, Suzanne, to your launch of Leap Scotland. Feel free to correct me if I get the terminology wrong. So Leap is the Law Enforcement Action Partnership. And my understanding is it's a conglomerate, if that's the right word, or a partnership of former police professionals who have recognised that the UK drugs policy is failing. Am I right there? Yeah, yeah, sure. I mean, it's an international organisation, and it was started in the USA originally as Law Enforcement Against Prohibition, which is like a nice snappy sort of, you get what it says on the tin. But in order to, because of how much drug policy is integral into people's everyday lives, even though they don't realise it, to sort of open up working with other organisations and being approached in some ways by their organisations, it's been changed to Law Enforcement Action Partnership because the prohibition bit, people then think, oh, it's really, really political, it's sort of anti. And whilst we are against the prohibition of drugs, it's so much broader than that. You know, it seeps into everybody's lives, everybody, even if they don't realise it. And so, yes, predominantly sort of ex-Law Enforcement, criminal justice, prison, probation, and obviously what we would like is more Law Enforcement to speak out or actually in the job, but that in itself is very problematic due to stigma and the police culture. Ignorance, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. You know, in fear, you know, I'd say even changing drug policy at governmental level is driven by fear. Fear, people don't like change. What's the alternative? You know, drugs are dangerous. We can't do anything about it. And it's not, you know, what Law Enforcement Action Partnership do is, as Law Enforcement, we want to speak out to everybody of why we fundamentally need to change drug policies, you know, internationally, but based, you know, in the UK as well. Yes, let's come on onto that, Suzanne. Um, we can also look at how, as a country, we've been misled to get addiction confused with substance use, which is just too completely, you know, one is a mental health disorder or a learned psychological condition, depending on your, you know, which camp, which camp you sit in. And of course, the other one is a recreational pastime and the powers that be are very good at confusing the issue to make people think that if you take a drug, your whole life is going to fall apart. And of course, we, you know, very unhelpful across the board also creates massive amount of stigma, not just for people who want to smoke a spiff on their weekend, but also for those that fall foul of the mental health condition addiction. But can we talk about your, how did you get into the police?  No, not at all. I, um, I originally graduated as a peer teacher physical degree in physical education, and I taught secondary school years, 11 to 18 sport for a couple of years. I sort of joke a bit that I was in a particularly rough school in Newcastle, and I decided that actually becoming a police officer, I might be able to do more. Not as simple as that. It was just that teaching really wasn't for me. I wasn't comfortable doing it. And actually, my brother in law had just joined and I thought, oh, actually, that sounds quite appealing. That sounds as though I'd I'd achieve more, I think, you know, I could do some good, you know, police communities, keep it safe. And so I ended up applying to Northumbria, which is quite they have a strict application process at the time. And I got in. And that's really where my sort of police career started. I ended up in, so I'm based in Newcastle, Pontein. I was in Northumbria Police Service and most people, well, the UK, you know, I was based in Biker, you know, Biker Grove, but so Biker and Walker, which is the East End of Newcastle, which is where I did my two years probation. And then from there went on to I got particularly interested in drugs for various reasons. But actually it was in the 90s, you know, and it was dance culture, the raves and all the scaremongering around ecstasy.  But also it, it, what's the word I'm looking for? They were they were seen as more important. The arrests for drugs were more important than other stuff because it was seen as such as this big, huge problem. And because of the increase in crime related to it, you know, a lot of services did this. They created a special operations and I joined at CID and they did special operations, particularly around drugs. So, you know, the classic, you arrest someone, the possession of drug. You're not really interested in that, particularly, but where did they get the drug from? You know, if you help us out, we'll help you out. You know, we'll give you a course, you know, that sort of bribery, getting more information to get the bigger, bigger fish was what led to sort of the the operations that I worked on, collecting information, targeting people and carrying out operations. And with that, obviously the huge amount of money that was put into drug squads. You know, at the time when I was in the police, you know, I did believe I was doing the right thing. I thought drugs were dangerous and the people that I were involved with, obviously, the criminality involved in it and the crime involved in it, I thought I was doing the right thing. And I didn't sort of start thinking about it till many years later, you know, of that revolving door, because actually if I'd thought about it, it would have been, this is never ending. You know, this, you know, but sort of for ticking boxes and very much on results and arrests and drug arrests, you know, as many operations as we could put together, we would get arrests related to drugs. So there was a never ending supply of that.  This is a success. This shows how good we are. Not really thinking about, you know, the supply and demand angle of actually, it doesn't matter how many times I do this, how many X, Y and Z people in the area I arrest, there is always somebody else to replace that. There's already somebody else to arrest. It's never ending. So, you know, like I said, so that, you know, I got into doing, I mean, nowhere near as in depth as Neil did in undercover operatives, but I did do quite a few undercover operative operations, too many operations in that sentence, which again, some people criticize because I know how, you know, PTSD and how it has affected people that have done that in depth. But my sort of involvement of it, it was quite, it was exciting. I found it exciting.  And this particular club, I think was closed down three or four times within the history that I know in the area. So, but again, like you're saying, it wasn't until actually I got into recovery that I actually started thinking about what did I actually do? What is law enforcement's involvement here? And that was more to do with the people that I see. So I got into recovery through mutual aid groups. It's a 12-set program. It works for me. But what I did find was, well, it doesn't, it doesn't for a lot of people. And one of the biggest issues I find, particularly when it's to do with drugs, as in illicit drugs, you know, alcohol as a drug, is the criminalization of people that even when they have gone through the, I can't even put into words the hidden, you know, of problematic substance use. I mean, 24 seven. You get your life together.   Criminalization, having a criminal record for drugs stops you. It cuts your chances down. You know, I can't, there's no studies I don't think. I know it's done a bit, it hugely impacts you. Because again, it's one of these things that people don't know, and I was speaking to people the other day about it, of once you have a drug related record, that never gets taken off.  Why is that? You know, why is that when something you do when you're 20, and you know, you get arrested and cautioned, stays on your record for the rest of your life. It's, you know, and that's just one little craziness of the whole drug policy scenario. But like you're saying, problematic substance use, getting into recovery, the criminalization, it's very impactful. Impact is not even the right word to use for it. You know, it's devastating for people. So I'm just conscious, Suzanne, we're kind of covering a lot of ground. Yes. Can we just take it piece by piece? So PE teacher, that makes me smile because about five years ago now, our PE teacher from school died. He was called Ashley, hello to anyone that might have known him. It was a wonderful chat. He had two fixed places in life. One was the football field. Where I don't think he ran further than five meters that way or five meters that way. For the 40 years he was at the school, the other place was at the bar in the pub. Every single night, cigarette in ham without fail. I don't know if this passes this day and age, but yeah, I just, I find stuff like this fascinating. When you've got a job like that, for example, if you've been out raving the night before or that week, you don't have to rock up and run around a football pitch or be doing anything that's like, or maybe you do, maybe it's like an easier than being in the classroom or something, but it just seems like quite a demanding profession to be a PE teacher. You've constantly got to be dressed in the fizz rig and out there supervising some sport. Yeah, I mean, for me, my problematic use of alcohol and drugs didn't come till very much later. I mean, I recognise now my addictive behaviours so I was very much addicted to exercise. So for me, it was very, my first addictions of choice, if you like, was food and exercise and they were very much intertwined. And I was very good at work and play and I had that line of, so during the week I worked, did what I needed to do as a PE teacher, but then at the weekend, I would play quite hard as well but managed to get it all together for a thumb-up, thumb-and-a-day morning. My husband's actually from Middlesbrough so I was very much involved in, people remember tall trees, the Kirk, the sugar shack, very big sort of dance scene clubs. So because that was sort of out of my teaching area, I could let my hair down and be a completely different person too. Monday morning, right, we are doing hockey or gymnastics or cross-country or that. So I was very good at, I was disciplined. There was a line, there was a line, a moral line and I didn't cross it at that time anyway. The lines got crossed a lot later on. Yeah, well, so what's the kind of brief then when you're in the station and you've got to go in a, do you have to dye your hair or? No, I mean, luckily, I look very different on a night out than I do in the uniform and the rest. So people don't, even like people that I work with when we started going out on a night out they wouldn't recognise me. So that was a really good advantage. I was good at playing that part because I was into the dance scene and I didn't do drugs regularly then. I sort of knew my topic if you like. So I knew how to mix in and also it is a lot easier. Well, I found it as a female to start chatting to a bloke who's on your list, you've got the photograph, that's him, to work your way around, to be certainly, whatever tactic that you use to start a conversation with them. So that bit I sort of found quite easy and like I said, I liked pretending to be somebody else because I never wanted to be me anyway, so.  God, it was a while ago. No, it doesn't, they did. That might be because maybe they were a bit more off their head than I was sort of acting.  Oh, OK. Yeah, because for people listening and I should just point out here for friends listening, we're talking this for the purposes of education, you know. As a veteran, we're in a veteran suicide epidemic.  Drink, as you'll hear me say every time, is the worst drug, right? My two, two of my best friends drank themselves to death. It's a horrible, it's a horrible chemical. But, you know, we need to shed light in this area. If we do what our previous generations did, which is just sweep all this under the carpet, right? All we're doing is condemning our children to just further misery and further lack of education, further restricting that their opportunities in life because they're getting sold a narrative that's just not true or maybe bits of it are true, but it's really unhelpful. You know, when you start suffering with addiction, you need to recognise it and you need to recognise it quick. You might not be able to do anything about it, which was my case.  Took me on a ride for 30 years, right? I'm OK with that, right? But what wasn't helpful is I had to do it all on my own because of all the no one from the previous generation had anything constructive to help me with. Society had nothing, you know, there was like one. I think there was one drug service, Suzanne, you know, and and basically all they tried to do was just prescribe you on to something else. There was no depth of understanding. So again, for our friends listening, we're talking about this for the purpose of education. We don't recommend anyone lives to the life that the way that I have or Suzanne has, as always say, you live your life, I'll live mine and then we'll be fine, won't we? So sorry, Suzanne, just gone on another rant there. But no, but it is it's really important. And that's, you know, I would love to see harm reduction, proper drugs education in in schools.  It's and, you know, one of the things that really annoys me is like, oh, you can't do that because that's normalising drug, drug taking. And it's just like we need to get real that taking drugs is normal. It has been throughout history, ancient Greeks. There's always been an element of drug taking of whatever that is throughout history. What we need to do now is make it safe. Or like, you know, I'd say to kids, no, don't if, you know, if you've got choice, don't. But the reality is that they do. So if they are going to do that, here's how to be as safe as possible. And because of prohibition, you know, they don't know what they're taking. You know, all of that.  You know, they do not. It's a bit like, you know, the same, you know, from problematic substance use and, you know, 24 set, end up with 24 seven drinker. You know, people don't realise the depths that I went. Maybe you went to to get what we needed and where we did it. That we have kids in school. I'm not saying every school, every school will have an issue with drugs, whether they know that or not, it is everywhere. And there's always a drug dealer at the school gates. There's kids take selling them in the toilets, wherever that is happening. And we need we're never going to stop that. But how can we make it as safe as possible?  My kids know so much more than I. We've kind of in this area, Suzanne, you've only got your hands tied behind your back a bit, haven't you?   And that is, you know, that is seeping into the into the UK as well.   It's important, you know, the people that need to be locked up are locked up.  You know, it's something like 67% of the male population in prison are there related to problematic substance use related crimes. It's they need treatment, help, not criminalize and put in a cage where they're just left. The left. Yes. Let's let's just peel back again. So when you're in the club as an undercover officer, did you have any, you know, did anyone ever call you out? Were there any sort of frightening times we put? Oh, my God, we need to get out of here quick. No, I was I was pretty lucky, you know, we would. There are various operations where I was where I was sent on my own, which I think were the more scary ones. And they were sort of the ones where we've got information on such and such. I would say that drove a taxi, lives here, he's dealing from here, where I'd have to go and call what called cold call. So, you know, you get mic'd up and then you literally just sent off to go and call on the door and get information and enough evidence to be able to arrest and charge in. I mean, I, you know, it was relatively new, although no undercover buying had been gone for a while because of the influx of the rave scene and the drugs. It was, I can't remember what I was going to say. It was getting more, more common. And, you know, like I said before, you know, I find I found the challenge quite exciting and but to be honest, looking back now, what I did, I wouldn't do that today because it'd be very unsafe. So I found myself in a situation where I am in a toilet with a couple of guys getting some coke and sort of trying to pretend to take it but not take it and then get out again.   Oh, so if you've got a supply of cocaine, you must have other stuff, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So I did put myself in and that was my choice. You know, that was silly. It was naive, but again, driven by, oh, let's get, let's get the bigger fish. This will lead to the bigger fish, which led me to do an unsafe practice, which, you know, I would not do today. I don't know whether, to be honest, I don't think you'd be allowed to do it today. You know, I'd like to think there's a lot more backup and support for under corruptives than there was, you know, we did make some of it up as we went along because it hadn't been really done before. Yes. And did you have any? What you'd referred to as successes, were there any big, big busts? I mean, yes, we did. I mean, it was the work that we did from the operation is then sort of put into the intelligence pool to gather more operation and sort of one of the bigger ones. And I can't remember the names of people because there's so many of them is we got to a certain level, but we actually had to stop because it was an operation that was being led by Interpol, sort of the bigger guys, if you like. And that led to a huge kingpin being arrested somewhere in Europe, whatever. You know, but part of the work that we did was put towards that. But I mean, I look back on it. It's again, it's the politics within within as well, that sort of you know, we couldn't then arrest these guys that were causing issues with drugs in our area because we had Interpol looking at the next bigger guys in the area. And then when it got to them, you know, you see it on the telly and it's not quite as dramatic and all that, but it's sort of like, OK, if you give us this so the bigger guys, you give us this information on this bigger guy, we will then protect you. You'll get less sentence or or even you'll get a new identity in another country, you know, that the people. What I'm trying to say is so the people. The big, big organized crime gangs that the leaders or whatever it is, they never actually get. The right sentence, they they they don't actually pay for their crime. It is always the poor guy or woman on some. Estate, high, you know, high in employment. Those though they're the ones that are paying the price for. The bigger organized crime that, you know, it's depressing. It makes me depressed thinking about it because it's mad, isn't it? To think so ineffective. It's so ineffective. It's like, you know, if it was any business, you know, if if you if you looked at law enforcement solely to do with drugs as a business, it would never have got past its first five years. And here we are, you know, 50 years later from the misuse of drugs at 1971, putting more money in, more resources. I mean, the police, you know what, as well, I have to say, you know, the police are good at catching drug dealers and we were good at it. But the problem being is it's an endless supply. So we have to think smarter and it's not that we don't have the money. It's because the money that we do have is misspent in the wrong places. I think, I mean, it is, isn't it?  It's all all pretty, pretty gray. And I sort of try, you know, for me personally, what somebody chooses to put in their body on a Friday, Saturday night or ever is is up to them. It's their personal choice. And, you know, this is where we come in just a bit, bit, bit, bit of the mis, misuse, using substances, misuse of substances. And for me, if you put something into your body out of your choice to pleasure seat, because that's what human body, you know, we're wide for that pleasure seeking time out does not cause any negative consequences to anybody else. It's sort of like fill your boots. It's when, you know, misuse comes in for me is when they're there. There are negative consequences to your use of a certain drug.  I've got a minging hangover. I won't do that again until next time.  There's a very, very blurred bit of when did I step over that line? My own moral line.  And the only thing that they knew is that I, I needed, I needed to switch off again and reach for whatever was around at seven o'clock in the morning, nine o'clock, whenever, you know, and that's what people find quite hard to get the head around of like, well, come on. And, and it's like, problematic substance use, I would, you know, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. It is the, it's, it's, I can't even describe and it is and I appreciate it's hard for people to get their head around. Oh, you know, this thing is willpower. Just don't do it. And it's like, if I could not just not do it. Don't you think I would?  She can't, she can't even stop doing it for her kids.  It's like, I need help. I don't need more stigmatization and to be felt even shitter than I do. And people, they don't, I don't, I don't know, do they need to get it? It's that compassion and empathy people need to, to try and apply because. So going back to your story, Suzanne, did you, I'm guessing what, did you start as a social?  And I could look back and I've done a lot of work on myself and out of my own interests, you know, the whole argument, is it nature, nurture, trauma, you know, for me? And I wanted the other answers because it was just like, I wanted to know why, why me? The answer is why not me, but also that it doesn't actually matter what I know. I know what's fundamentally was wrong with me and I know what to do about it today.   I was brought up in the countryside, hated it. Um, I said, the isolation always, you know, always for as long as I first can remember, I always felt different.  And if people actually really knew me, they wouldn't like me. And, and, you know, it was age 15, 16. When I first started to drink, getting drunk. And for me, it was just like, this is the answer. I can have this and I can be this person. I'm not really sure who that person, you know, what I thought people would want to see want to be. So, you know, I was that loud outgoing dancing.  I'll, I'll try that. Let's do this. And it just ticked all my boxes. It made me feel comfortable in my own skin. And, you know, and I managed to do that for a long, long time.   It was like, I'll have that, but I need all that. I need to get drunk. I don't, I don't do, I don't do middle ground. It's all or nothing. And so if, so if I couldn't have anything, A, I probably wouldn't have gone out. Um, I wouldn't bother. But when I went out, had it, it was just, yeah, like I'd come home. I was, again, it was pretending. It wasn't really me. It wasn't, it was me being uncomfortable in my own skin, trying to fit in, being what I thought people wanted me to be and all those, you know, social pressures growing up and, and so for me, like the illicit drugs were not an issue. They weren't my substance of choice.  You know, I'm actually quite fortunate that my drug use didn't get more problematic because I wouldn't, I wouldn't have needed to leave the house at all now and it would be cheaper.  Now, like, you know, like you're saying, you could get probably 20, 15 of them, um, and, and disease is ordering a pizza, which is just crazy. It's crazy. And, you know, and that line, that line, like I said before, it's a bit blurry, but I just, you know, um, mental health issues. Um, you know, obviously, like I said, you know, my, my first addictive behavior came out in eating. So I was bulimic for about 12 years, combined with an exercise addiction. Once I'd sort of got over those, dealt with those, the alcohol came in and, and, and, um, because of my low self-worth and because I was a mother and I had children and to the outside world, I felt a complete failure that, you know, once I, you know, and that moral, that moral boundary that we have, right? Okay, I'm never going to drink drive. You know, I hated drink drivers in the police. It was like, yes, get them off the streets. I was never going to do that. I did it. I got away with it. I'd crossed that boundary. It was so almost like I've let myself down in my own moral grab, moral levels. Well, I've done that. Well, it doesn't matter. I'll do it again. And then I did get caught and, and then once I'd got caught, the shame, the guilt, the remorse that just got worse and worse and worse that I just couldn't face myself, let alone anybody else that led me to, I just wanted to, to numb out. I didn't want a single ounce of reality. I couldn't deal with it. I could not deal with it. Um, and obviously, you know, having kids and all of that just crushed me.  I just couldn't see and, and, and the help. Just it was, yeah, I was just crushed and I didn't, I couldn't see a way out anymore. At what point did this start to conflict with your work then? Well, luckily, luckily for me, I actually, I left the police force and I wasn't using problematically then at all. And I actually went back to university. I went and did a degree in fashion marketing. And it was really when I started my degrees, well, I was pregnant with my first child.  I just got married.  You know, I was managing to get up, I was managing to look after the kids, the whole rest of it. And. And I really, I suppose, you know, just like had a breakdown at, you know, after finishing that degree. And then I started going back to work again. I started to go back into teaching because that was the easiest thing to do to get some money in with young kids. And this was the frustration of not being able to do what I wanted to do. Too scared to do it, living in fear. I don't know what I'm doing. It's all too much.   It is really hard. You know, I love my kids and but it's hard. I find it hard. I'm not a natural mother. But I'm a much better mother now. Than than I ever was due to get into recovery and 12 sets and all the rest of it. But just I suppose and I think that's something people don't get. All the external stuff that people seem to be able to.  I wonder what their life's like. And I'm like struggling and I can't cope. And it's all too much.  You know, I didn't get how to live. I did. I didn't seem to have that book. Everyone, everyone. I know it's not everyone else because you realise that it isn't so many of a struggling and that's part of the problem because we're all out there struggling and it's getting better that people are talking out about it.  You know, just because we're female doesn't mean that we're naturally capable of looking after. Kids. Yeah. Hindsight and, you know, a lot of reading and studying, you know, I have changed my view on a lot of things. And, you know, for me, I understand myself better than I ever have done or ever did. And I understand.   So I try to say problematic substance use. But I know that I have to be very wary of substances that. So, for example, I've got an issue with my back taking back medication. You know, I'm actually quite lucky that the stuff that I can take when I need to take it doesn't affect me because if it affects my head, it's that addictive. Ooh, what would two do? What would three do? So I know that I need to leave.  I smoke cigarettes, you know. I'm not drug-free abstinence drinking green stuff every morning and, you know, doing my yoga practice. And I shouldn't say that, actually, because that's a bit disturbing. Whatever works for you works for you. Now, for me, abstinence-based program is the only thing that worked for me. And I do think that if you have an issue, being abstinence from that particular substance for a little while would be very beneficial to look at. So you take the drug away, you're left with yourself. You know, say it's an inside job.  If that's what you want to think about it, that's up to you. For me, I didn't have an issue with God. I'm a more spiritual person. It works for some people. It's like, I think it works for some people. It doesn't work for others. And I'm, you know, I'm, I'm sort of like, I can get a bit jealous, actually, when, you know, I've traveled to a lot of conferences about product substance use, recovery, doing self-discovery stuff of where someone has put their substance of choice down, whatever it be. But then they can, so like say they put alcohol down and they can occasionally have a spliff. You know, I'm like, how do you do that? Because my head would, I could probably do that. But then I'd want to do it again. And then the next day, the next day, you know, I understand. But I, you know, I know that. Exactly like you're saying. Some people can put that down. Absence for a while, get to themselves. And then they may find that actually they can have a spliff. They can do whatever they want to do. And, and, you know, for me, you know, there are negatives to it.   There's no negative, you know, then it's like, and then they're so hard on themselves. Like, exactly like you're saying, it's like, hang on a minute.  In three months, you haven't had anything. And this happened.  That time is not wasted.  So, you know, it is achievable. But, you know, let's look at what actually was going on there for you.  So, you know, I'm very open. It's like, recovery is... Are we saying that the 12-step programme does recognise lapses and relapses? Yeah. I mean, yeah.  But for me, and the friends that I have within, you know, the mutual aid group, you know, we have similar, that's why we're friends because we have similar thinking about it, of like, you recognise it. But, you know, for me, I've said, you know, see it for what it is. You know, it's not all that time is down the drain and it's wasted. It's like, so what can we maybe... You know, it's like, say, what can we learn from that? You know, what is it that you didn't do? Was it that maybe you... You didn't ring, like, for me, like, I didn't ring my sponsor in and talk it through.  And the whole world's falling apart when actually... It's, you know, I dropped a glass. You know, something frivolous is like that, but it's like, it's never about the glass, you know, it's like the hair that broke the camel's back. It's never about that. It's like all this other stuff that I can recognise that I was building up to.  I just want to numb, you know, in this pandemic. Oh, my God, I, you know, it's not that I just stop wanting to use a drink. It's just, I know the negative consequences. It wouldn't work out like it does for other people. Yeah. Can I, I just want to clarify here for everybody, I'm not knocking the 12-step, that's not what I'm trying to highlight where it became problematic when I was a substance misuse specialist, right?    I think there's a great lesson to be learned there, that someone that maybe people perceive has got it all. Personally, for me, and this is not a personal attack against Russell Brand, not in any way what's informed, but like, it's someone that has that much contempt for their life experiences and basically themself. It's, I just don't see anything good from it, Suzanne, you know?  I haven't done anything wrong, ever, right? And the reason I say that is, you just got to meet my little boy, right? He's the most perfect child, right? He was ever born in history, right?  We're going to give him to Chris Rule, right? That is how perfect my life has played out and that people think they can come in, you know, people like Russell Brand think that I should have changed my life and that I wouldn't now have my little boy. It's just, it's such a weird way of thinking, you know? It's, we're just a process of, you know, we're a product of the process, aren't we? Yeah, and it is, yeah, I'm a product of my parents and their parents, their parents and I, you know, luckily now with social, you know, which must have been out there, you know, I really like Gabon Mate's work on trauma and the link between trauma and problematic substance use. You know, but we have to remember it, it's like, you know, the why me. I know people that have had a lot more traumatic upbringing than me that aren't problematic substance users. You know, they've managed to work it out and get through life and deal with life without having to resort to the lengths that I went to.  My childhood trauma, you know, it's not a competition and I can feel, my trauma, I can feel as much as someone next to me who has been through a lot worse, as much if not more than them. And the problem is, you know, we've all suffered from trauma and what we try to do is numb that pain, numb that emotional pain. So, you know, so, you know, it's like you're saying it gets into a competition of, well, I trump you with your, you know, that experience with my domestic violence experience or whatever, it's the individual and we're just, we're all people that are in extreme emotional pain and the solution that we had for that, you know, alcohol and the drugs stopped working. And now, because I understand myself more and, you know, I'm the problem because I kept putting this stuff into me trying to get a different result and actually it's coming to terms with and the one thing I always wanted was to be comfortable in my own skin, which sounds a bit ridiculous, but, you know, that's all I wanted and for most of the time today I am and that's, you know, that's priceless and I don't have to use a substance to do that. It's, you know, it's down that self-esteem, self-worth.  I deserve a life as much as the person next to me, which is when we're in it, we feel that we don't and everyone else is deserving and it's not, we all deserve a decent life. Let's talk about the valuable work of Leap then. What is, what would be Leap's main aim or aims are and how successful are they being with them? Right, you know, so the end goal, you know, the, you know, to win the Oscar would be a fully regulated market of all drugs throughout the world. You know, that's the big aim. It would be a great aim to have a regulated market for all drugs in the UK because what we aim to do is to, you know, recognise that the drug policies that we have in place have created more negative consequences and harms to individuals and countries than they were ever intended to, that they're not fit for purpose and what we need to do is we need fundamental change in our drug policies to negate these negative consequences and to help the people that need to be helped and to have an efficient police service again, you know, efficient law enforcement so the police can go out and get the baddies, as we like to say, you know, the real baddies and recognise, I think, it's that people use drugs, people will always use drugs so let's have a policy in place that's fit for purpose, one that protects those that need protecting and gives the individuals the right to put something into the body that they choose to do without negative consequences.  How does it fit then with, say, Parliament? I mean, have you made any inroads there? Yeah, you know, in 2016 we actually launched the Leap UK in Westminster and each year we do sort of an activist day in June or we have done with a campaign called Anyone's Child, people that have been impacted, you know, their sons, daughters, impacted by drug policies that are in place and we are well received by politicians behind closed doors most of the time because they agree with us, you know, on a one-to-one basis, they agree, they need updating, oh, they're not okay, they're not too sure about the fully regulated market but they recognise the need that the policies need changing and then this is when, you know, the fear comes in because they're in a position of power, they don't want to step outside their party line and they want to win votes so that's when they start sort of drawing back a bit of, like, I agree with you, Suzanne, you're right but I can't do anything and then that's when I start to get a bit annoyed with them because they can and unfortunately this is the bit where, you know, when we speak to the general public, you know, they agree, most of them agree, you know, once they've heard both sides of the story and well, how, you know, well, how on earth are you going to regulate heroin? How on earth are you going to do this? You once explained the system, it's like, what can I do? And this is where it'd be like, I know it's a bit of a bore lake we need politicians, this needs to be changed, this is government, governmental level, the Home Office, what we need to do is we need to get the politicians on side and that's where you need to write a letter to your MP to ask to meet, to ask what you're going to, what you're doing about drug, you know, drug reform. You know, because drug related deaths, the highest in Western Europe, that's crazy.    Oh!   It's, yeah, and the things that, you know, especially, like you're saying, alcohol is the most dangerous causes, the most costs to the NHS and all the rest of it. And, you know, but with drug related deaths, it is, and like a lot of alcohol related, these are preventable, the preventable deaths, you know, purely through peer support in the lock zone. But, you know, it's... Yeah, I said, you know, I wouldn't wish it on anybody.  And, yeah, I get lost for words with it because, again, it's just that, you know, I always say to people as well, it's like, if you're listening to this, if you listen to this, that everybody will know somebody that has been affected by problematic substance use and they sort of give you a look, it's like, okay, you might not actually know that fact about them, but your dad's friend, your mum's sister, your cousin, whatever, will have someone in their family or themselves suffering from problematic substance use. It's that entrenched in our society. And, again, with the stigma, you don't hear about it because it's, you know, don't tell anybody the shame and the guilt and, again, that's, you know, like mental health is getting much better at being talked about. The links between mental health and problematic substance use is, I personally don't know anybody that's sort of in recovery or in rooms that have had a problem, an issue with substance of some sort that does not have a mental health, negative mental health. It's just like, you get the package and, you know, I've just never ever seen it with some negative mental health involved. Yes, can we look at some countries where different things have worked? I mean, people often quote Portugal, don't they? You can say they've got no drug law or that's my understanding. Yeah, so it is, again, this always comes out in debates and arguments of, you know, when we talk about legal regulation, how are we going to do it? What can we do? There are solutions that can be put into place by governments that would drastically reduce and help, you know, drug-related deaths and criminalisation of people that don't need criminalised. So one of the examples that always comes up is Portugal. So Portugal, they decriminalised the possession of all drugs for personal use in 2001, you know, so it's been quite a while. And you know what, it's for the purposes that they brought that law in, there was a massive opiate death, heroin crisis, looking at, so basically looking at the population, we have all these people dying, these people that are dying, they need help, treatment, support and the other people that are choosing to use drugs, they just sort of need maybe a bit of education, a bit of guidance and maybe a bit of support. So what they did is they said, right, what we're going to do is we're going to decriminalise possession.  Do you need help with this or is this just your personal use? And they're given sort of like a ticket fine and sent to what they call a dissuasion court, which is where there is, again, is it a problem? Again, an opportunity for you to ask for help and if you need help, you get it, you know, imagine that. And if it's not, then, you know, a bit of education, time, place, setting, where you're doing it, what you're taking, all the rest of it, and then you sent basically to get on with it. So what, but what they did do is they ring fenced a huge amount of money for their health system to reinvigorate their health system. So the people that need the help and treatment can get it.  We don't have a 24-7 rehab in the northeast of England. We don't have one. And for some people, I'm sure, like you're aware, is that's actually what they need. They need taken out of the environment they're in and put into another environment where they cared for and they can look after themselves and people can look after them.  So I've gone off the top slightly of Portugal. So, you know, decriminalisation is doable and I would like to see that in the UK. So basically, 90% of people that use drugs that do so without negative consequences can carry on and do that without the fear of criminalisation. The 10% that do have problems, it would be nice and issues that they would get the help and treatment that they need rather than stick in a prison cell. Is that much different to here though?  Or do they still give you a caution and that's problematic? This is a slight issue. In the UK, obviously, England and Wales, the police services and then Scotland's difference, Scotland Police is separate. And obviously, we have all these different areas that make up police services, like North Yorkshire, South Yorkshire, Northumbria, Cumbria, and they're all run by the chief constable. And really, it goes on what policies the police in their area see they should prioritise. So in some areas, you will... So like, for example, Durham, it's a very small police service. A diversion scheme called Checkpoint, which is if you're arrested with drug possession, you can be diverted to health care professionals and treatment rather than down the criminal avenue. The chief constable, Mike Barton, who was great, who was very pro-drug reform, very dissuaded his police officers. Like he said, you're on the street. I do not want to see you bringing in people arrested for a tiny amount of cannabis for their personal use. I'm not interested. Let them get on with it. But you still get other police services whereby they don't necessarily dissuade them or actively dissuade the arrests. I don't want to say encourage, because I can't speak for them. But there's disparities between police services. In one area, you could get arrested for a small amount of cannabis. And in others, you may not. In some areas, you may get cautioned. In others, you may get charged. And again, that's the problem, is there isn't any... There isn't like a baseline that everybody sticks to. And then, in London, you're eight times more likely to be stopped and searched if you're black and ethnic minority. There's those massive disparities that still continue. And again, go back in history, and it's on false... Yeah, okay.   You know, I'd like to think it's a lot better than it was. But, you know, it's like being in the services, you are indoctrinated. You know, you're either in it or you're not. So either... You know, for me, I was one of the very... There wasn't that many female police officers at the time.  I had to man up. I had to become one of the boys. You know, I had to be in there in the fights and arresting people to be accepted. And, you know, that culture... I'd like to think it's not as bad as it was when I was in. I think it is better in some areas, because, you know, I quite easily believe that in some it's not. Yeah, got you. What can we say for people then, Suzanne, maybe law enforcement officers that are watching this, if they want to get involved or they have stories to tell, if they'd like to support LEAP, what should they be doing? Yeah, so the easiest thing to do is go to the website, www.ukleap, so that's ukleap.org. That would take you to the UK website. And it would bring up, you know, it's also interesting to go on to the LEAP USA as well.  And what I'd say is if you do that and you've got a letter back and you go, oh my God, I don't know what I'm going to say or what I'm going to do with the politician, you know, there's contacts on the LEAP website that I'd say, just send an email, I'm happy to talk to anybody about what to say to your politician. And it's not facts and figures, it's the human stories that the important ones, you know, because who remembers facts and figures? And do you know what? Even if you think regulation, absolutely no way, read about it, you know, look at sort of what's going on in the world. You know, Canada, the police chiefs have just backed decriminalisation of personal use of all drugs. You know, you have Colorado where you have the legalised and regulated market of cannabis. There's all these places that are implementing and changing their drug policies to be fit for purpose. And you know, and it's like when we talk about Portugal and, you know, that's 2001, people have no idea to go to Portugal and have no idea that it's been decriminalised. You know, the sky hasn't fallen in. We haven't got people lying around, gouching out everywhere, you know, it doesn't happen because most people are responsible adults and behave accordingly. Yes, and goes back to what we've said at the beginning that just because you decriminalised everything, you know, maybe you made it like you could go to the co-op and get substances over the counter from the pharmacy for free. It doesn't mean everyone's going to go and do that. And secondly, the vast majority of those who do are not going to let that affect their weekly life.  The government have decriminalised substances. So I'm going to go out and get myself a massive problem, lose my family, lose my, because people won't be predisposed to not everyone's predisposed to addiction.  People, you know, childhood, adverse childhood experiences are generally the driver behind addiction, you know? And again, it is, it's, you know, that was like cannabis is a gateway drug.  We need strict regulation on alcohol, you know, minimum pricing.  You're all these things. It's, it's for kids under the age of 18 to get an illicit drug is very simple and no one asks for their ID. No one cares whether from what they're doing, how they're taking all the rest of it. There's too much money in it for them. They are very happy to be selling anything to any kid, whatever age, if they get the money, they don't care. And what would you rather have?  And to a degree, that's coming true anyway because the dark web is very self-regulated. People might be surprised to hear that, but it's just buying substances on the dark net. It's like going on eBay.  So it has to be the top quality stuff as advertised, you know, delivered promptly. And if it's not on these sites, it's so untold, you raise a dispute, you know, and that person then has got three days to answer it. I was really surprised, you know, again, I'm always open to learning new things and having my mind changed if... And it was a guy called Dr. X who's based in Spain who does a lot of the dark net sort of research and it was a talk on the dark net as harm reduction. And I was like, I want a minute. And exactly that, that what is happening now is you've got a supplier of this substance and then the reviews on it and the person's appliance saying, this is how much you take. These are, if you're looking for these effects, this is what it is.  And it really was harm reduction, so the person that buys the substance gets the best possible experience, which is what you want, what they want from it. They get the best possible substance. It's an environment and that sounds a bit like, you know, I think that would be a hard pill for a lot of people to swallow like the dark net to do harm reduction. But it's like, yeah, but also they have to do this because of the, again, the whole legality of drugs. So this is, you know, and this is information that again, harm reduction for students that are out there, this is what they need. They need to do what they want to do. If they choose to do it, I say, I'm not encouraging it. I would say, no, don't, but if you're going to do it, how can you do it as safe as possible? And always, always, if anything is not quite right, you ring an ambulance straight away. You know, that's, you know, I'm not encouraging drug use. It's just, I personally, I had some great top experiences taking drugs. The rest of it didn't really quite work out for me, but I wouldn't change those experiences. I think like you said earlier, people, places, the feel, you know, amazing experiences that have led me to where I am today. You know, for me, I now live in abstinence based life. That's just how I, I need to live, you know, but that's okay. You know, that's not like, oh, feel sorry for me. It's just, you know what, I had some great times and I've still got those. But you know, today I lead an abstinence based, I say abstinence based coffee, cigarette, you know, blah, blah, but I am not a guru. You're still working on those? Yeah, always working, always working on there. It would be all right if it wasn't for everybody else. So if somebody else could be the problem. On that note, I'm going to thank you ever so much. Fascinating, fascinating chat. Thank you for your work that you're doing in this area. It really is legendary. People don't, the word hero just gets banded around in society now. And as a veteran, I can tell you how just misused it is. It's just become so facile to use that. But the work you're doing actually is the hero work, you know, it's what's going to save, ultimately save lives. It's going to enlighten people as to the reality of what, what substance use is, what the dangers are, what, what, you know, all this kind of stuff that, that we just don't really know much about. And then when people do realize that, oh, actually, I'm one of the ones susceptible to addiction. And I'm starting to see, they'll be able to relate their experience to this kind of stuff that we're saying. So it doesn't just, like for me, come as a bolt out the blue. It wasn't even like a, but it's so in, it's so. What's the word surreptitian, you know, it's so slow. What's happening to him before you know it, you're in this world that you don't even know how you got there. And nobody around you went back 25 years. No one around me could go, Chris, this is what's happening.  Right. So, so Suzanne, thank you. Thank you. Like anything else, Chris? Just going to shout out. I'm like saying, I'm happy to talk and, you know, it isn't, it's that thing like, you know, it's that slow drip in the bathroom, isn't it? With, with primary substance use before you, well the ceiling falls in and it's like, how the hell did that happen? Yes. You know, like saying for me, abstinence basis is the way for me, but you know, recovery is having a better life than you did before, whatever that looks like, you know, whatever works for you, great. Yeah. Well, all the rest of it is experimenting, isn't it? And you experiment to get the perfect life. And then the irony is once you get to the perfect life, you realize you don't need any of that stuff. In fact, all that stuff does is just take you down off the natural high and make life bloody hard work. I know. Yes. I'm going to put the links for Leap below our video and, and so people can, can find you. Great. Massive thank you again. Thank you for your time as well, Chris. No problem. Just, just stay on the line, Suzanne, so I can thank you properly to our friends at home. Massive love to you all. Please look after yourselves. If you can like and subscribe. That would be wonderful. And we will see you next time.