Welcome, everybody, both those joining us in person here in our beautiful headquarters at 31 Gly Street and those joining us online for this special Lowy Institute event with the commander of the US Indo-Pacific Command Admiral John C. Aquilino. I'm Michael Fully Love, the executive director of the Lowy Institute. Let me recognize our Deputy Chairman Stephen Lowy, Board Member Glenn Stevens, a number of senior American and Australian officers. I'd also like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land on which the Institute stands, the Gadigal of the Eora Nation, I pay my respects to their elders. Ladies and gentlemen, after the Second World War, the US military divided the world up into a series of combatant commands and the largest of these commands and the most important from Australia's point of view, based at Camp H. M. Smith in Honolulu, is US Indo-Pacific Command or Indo-Pakom, as it's known in the business. And we're privileged today to hear from Indo-Pakom's Command-Hom's Commander Admiral Aquilino. As commander of Indo-Pakom, Admiral Aquilino is responsible for all US military activities in this region, covering 36 countries from India to Kiribati, 14 time zones and half of the world's population. He has some 375,000 service members under his command. He's Washington's point man in the region, helping to manage not just key relationships with America's allies and friends, but also its relations with China. His remit includes some of the world's flash points from the Taiwan Strait to the South China Sea to the DMZ. The Admiral has a lot on his plate. And from now on, Chris, whenever my job is feeling big to me, I'm going to remind myself of the dimensions of your job. So Indo-Pakom is one of the most consequential command positions in the world. And it's a command position that historically has been important for Australia because of our alliance relationship with the United States. Of course, we're an island nation surrounded by a vast moat formed by the Southern Pacific and Indian Oceans. And given that geography, we might have been an isolationist country. But in fact, we have never sought to remain aloof from world affairs. We have always seen ourselves as a country with global interests. And we've always maintained a significant connection with the leading naval power of the day, first the United Kingdom and then the United States. Our alliance with the United States has only become more important in recent years with the resurrection of the Quad and the establishment of AUKUS. So for all these reasons, Admiral, it's a great privilege to have you here with us this evening, the third Indo-Pakom commander that I've been lucky enough to host at Bly Street. Ladies and gentlemen, Admiral Aquilino graduated from the US Naval Academy in Annapolis in 1984, and he earned his wings as a naval aviator in 1986. He's a graduate of the Navy Fighter Weapon School, which you might be more, which might be more familiar to you as Top Gun. He's been deployed on operations in Europe, Afghanistan and Iraq and served as commander of carrier strike group two aboard USS George H.W. Bush. He served in a number of important staff roles. In 2018, he was appointed commander of the US Pacific Fleet. And in April, 2021, he was appointed Indo-Pakom commander. He is also currently the US Navy's old goat, which means he is the longest serving graduate of the US Naval Academy on active duty. I don't know whether he would appreciate me mentioning that item on his CV, but I believe it's true. Admiral Aquilino, thank you for visiting the Lowey Institute. Please join me on stage. Thank you. Please. So we have almost an hour with the Admiral. I'm going to pop some questions to him for about half an hour, 40 minutes, and then I'm going to give you an opportunity to ask him some questions too. So please get your questions ready. Admiral, before I get into the substantive questions, we'd like to learn a little bit about you. You're from Long Island in New York. Tell us a bit about your family background. What took you into the United States Navy? Michael, thanks. If you don't mind though, I would also like to recognize the traditional owners of the land and their elders here. It's always wonderful to be back in Australia to see friends and partners for at least my last decade of operations here. I'd like to thank Mr. Lowey and the board. Thank you for having me. This institute is incredible and it serves both Australia well as well as the partnerships, so thanks. Michael, thank you. So again, I'm the son of an Italian family, 100%. My dad had a ready-mix concrete business, of which that's where I started as a worker, and I worked with him my whole life. I drove my first concrete truck at seven years old, my first front-end loader at seven and a half. So I'm a blue-collar guy, but I learned incredible work ethic from my dad, and boy, my mom. There's no doubt who drove the family, I can tell you. That said, my uncle was a Navy man. He graduated from Wilkes College in Pennsylvania, as did my father. And he was a destroyer captain. He retired as a Navy captain, and he took me out on a ship one day, and I think I was kind of sold. Now, that said, ship driving was interesting, but flying airplanes is what I always wanted to do. So I'd just been incredibly lucky during my time to have the support of a ton of friends, family, and mentors just to get me where I am today. This is not anything that happens by itself. And for all the things you described on the expansive nature of what Indo-Paycom is responsible for, the key aspect of what you said was the 375,000 soldiers, sailors, airmen, marines, coast guardmen, guardians that work tirelessly every day to prevent conflict, to support our allies and partners, and to deliver a free-out and open Indo-Pacific for all of the nations in the region. That's what we do every day. All right, before we get to that, I want to ask you, you earned your wings as a pilot, I think, in the same year the Top Gun came out, which must have been quite a moment, like graduating from Oxford when Brideshead revisited as published. What you said you always wanted to be a pilot. You didn't want to drive ships. What did you love about being a naval aviator? Well, it's almost indescribable until you do it. So the incredible freedom, the power, the camaraderie, the people, every single thing about it was enticing. And I just always categorize it this way. These are 600-knot people in a 600-knot world. And operating at that pace and speed is what's needed to be successful and survive in this day and age. All right, you mentioned the most important thing you do is to command and to look after and to serve alongside all these amazing service members. But tell us a bit more about just the dimensions of your job, because it's such an interesting job.  You're traveling around the region. You're moving constantly. Tell us about a day in the life of the Indo-Pacom commander. Well, again, a day in the life of an Indo-Pacom commander. Hell, I don't know if I've had one day the same out of three years. But I can tell you the broad sets of things that we execute in the headquarters every day. First and foremost, it's to be able to operate freely in accordance with international law throughout the region to demonstrate what right looks like and to ensure we can enable prosperity for all nations and to operate safely to deliver those objectives of deterrence. And the secretary gave me two missions. As it gave me a lot of missions, I usually focus on the main two. Number one is to prevent conflict in this region. And number two is if I fail at mission one to be prepared to fight and win. And those are not separate missions. The ability to be able to be prepared to fight and win is the strength that delivers the deterrence needed to prevent the conflict. So number one is to make sure we're executing that role. Number two is to integrate and synchronize with our allies and partners because we are stronger together. Despite 375,000 people or whatever the number is, the strength of what happens in this region is all of our alliances, our friendships, and our partnerships with the entire region, whether that be militarily or economically, those capabilities dwarf any competitor. And each and every day, any potential adversary needs to see that this globalized world and the linkage of the like-minded nations is a problem that they will have should there be actions unilaterally to take action detrimental to the rest of the nations in the United States and the region. So I spend a lot of time either on the phone, on email, or in the airplane out to visit my partners. We are on text together, right? This is number one. I'm an analog guy in a digital world, but I know how to send text. And all the chiefs of defense are on my speed dial and they're on mine. So the coordination, the collaboration, the conversations, the linkages are critically important and not always about the war-fighting aspect. This region is prone to disasters. Last week alone, I sent three notes to my partners and said, hey, how you doing? You need any help, whether it be the earthquake that occurred south of Okinawa and northeast of Taiwan, whether it be similar type actions. There were fires in the Philippines during our last exercise that we helped support. Mission one there is to, hey, if somebody needs help, shoot me a note and we're coming. We're here to save lives. We're here to help you protect your citizen and citizens. So that's in the job jar. Third, managing and synchronizing with the secretary who's my boss and ensuring that I'm aligned and carrying out his direction in order to meet the United States National Defense Strategy. So those are what I would say are the three big bins. And all of them happen every day, sometimes multiple times. All right. Let's talk about, you mentioned the special source for the United States in the region, in a way, is your partnerships and your alliances. Let me take you through some of those alliances. Because we have certainly observed that in the last few years, the Washington has consolidated its alliances with a number of allies in the region, whether it's AUKUS or bringing Japan and South Korea together. We know that Prime Minister Kishida is probably about to arrive in Washington for an important bilateral visit. So tell us a bit about Japan. There's been significant expansion of the self-defense force in recent years. How important is that? And what sort of announcements do you expect from Washington in terms of the bilateral relationship between US and Japan? Well, I'm going to leave the announcements to President Biden as a part of that state visit for what he might decide to coordinate and synchronize with Prime Minister Kishida. But to your original point, though, while it's clearly in the United States national defense strategy to be able to strengthen and pull together allies and partners, it's also critically important for all the nations in the region. And I'll give you this example. I talked about getting together with the chiefs of defense. And we do that every year once a year in person. And then we get together two or three times a year virtually so that we can stay connected, we can understand what problems each other are facing, and we can figure out where we can be helpful for each other. But as a part of that, we always identify at least three things that we're going to agree. As a set of chiefs of defense and leadership in the area, that we're going to go after to make this place better, this region better. And one of the first ones actually came from General Campbell. And it is the only one that has maintained the number one position for three years. And that is that we will continue to work together more mini and multilaterally to be able to maintain peace, stability, and to be able to operate safely throughout the region. That's a commitment from all of the nation's leaderships because it's the number one most important thing. So based on the fact that it is important to all, we have expanded, as you articulated, Michael, a lot of the engagements and interactions. I'll just give you some examples. Talisman Sabre previously was a bilateral United States Australian high-end exercise that we did every other year. Well, I think there's 12 or 14 nations competing, or now participating, not competing, but participating. Balakutan with the Philippines, previously bilateral with the United States, and the Philippines, now multilateral, operating at the high end. Cobra Gold with Thailand, the same. Trilaterally with the Republic of Korea, Japan, and the United States, we operate and we exercise persistently. You mentioned AUKUS. The Quad nations get together. While the Quad is not a military agreement, it is a economic diplomatic agreement. But the Quad nations operate together in Malabar and other events around the globe. So this theme has been recognized by all of the nations as it applies to the importance and delivering the stability and peace in the region. So it just makes sense, and I believe it's been effective, and I think it will continue to grow. We have RIMPAC coming up this year, Super Garuda Shield with Indonesia. Again, the examples are just continuous. But it is a strength for all of the like-minded nations to be able to come together. All right, so on Japan, how would you characterize Japan's strategic posture, changes in the SDF in recent years? How important are they? Well, I think Japan is only one example of what you've seen in the region as it applies to the strengthening of military capability. I would love to think that's because of my charming personality, but I'm a realist and it's not, right? This is about the threat. So the threats that exist in this region for Indo-Pakum and the rest of the nations as identified in my national defense strategy certainly is the PRC, goes without saying, but also 1,700 miles of Russian coastline and based on the Russian's illegal, illegitimate invasion of Ukraine, that's a problem in this theater as well. Third is the DPRK and the increased UN Security Council resolution violations in the forms of long-range missile activity, the movement forward of their nuclear capability, all those things are concerning for the region. And if that's not enough, violent extremism is still around and it's in this theater. The Philippines and the southern Philippines, they have a real problem that my partner is going after there as well. So with that lineup, four of the five threats identified in the United States National Security Strategy are in this theater. And when you talk about what's happened over the last year with regard to the synchronization of some of those nations, right, the no limits relationship between the PRC and Russia, that's a problem we haven't had before. Russian and DPRK cooperation sharing weapons and breaking sanctions and supporting that economy, that's a problem and not because they're supporting the economy but because the support, financial support to the DPRK is going to increase missile development and weapons development not to feed the people in the DPRK. So those sets of cooperation and the linkages are really a new world and a concern for me. All right, talk to us a bit about the Philippines, if you will. I wanna come back to China and Russia but I just wanna stay on the allies for a bit. As you know, we hosted President Marcos in Melbourne last month and he made the point that the Philippines was on the front line of international efforts to preserve, defend and uphold the rules-based international order that you mentioned. What have been your impressions about how the Philippines approach to the questions of sovereignty have changed under President Marcos? I think what I see here is a real, first, the leadership of President Marcos as it applied to the challenges and the dangers that are being placed on his force by the PRC. I commend the actions he's taken as well as my counterparts in the entire national security apparatus in the Philippines. Number one, exposing the bad behavior that is a unilateral action by a strong nation to impress their will and goals on another nation in the region. If you were to think about that, it sounds a little like Russia and Ukraine. So it is incredibly, I'm very, very concerned about the direction it's going. The last two resupplies, there were six Coast government on the Philippine resupply vessels that were injured. And the illegal- You're talking about resupplying Sierra Madre on Second Thomas Shaw, yeah. The illegal claim of everything inside of the self-proclaimed nine or 10-dash line as Chinese sovereign territorial waters has no basis in international law and it has been decreed by the 2016 tribunal that it in fact, the Chinese have no legal claim. So all of the nations in the region have the right to operate and gain the resources that are allowed to them inside of their exclusive economic zone. The Philippines are no different. And these actions are dangerous, illegal and they are destabilizing the region. Is Second Thomas Shaw the most dangerous flashpoint in your area of command? Yeah, I'm very concerned about what's happening at Second Thomas Shaw. And because, I mean, that's self-explanatory. We have actions, physical actions from the PRC, as you've seen on the video, of two Coast Guard ships and what they call a fishing vessel but is actually a part of the military militia controlled by the CCP to prevent the resupply of those forces on the Sierra Madre. And like I said, six sailors hurt. So what's next and how far are they willing to go in that area? And that's the one that's most exposed and seen but those actions are similar. Around the rest of the region, the Japanese have a problem with Chinese aggressive behavior in the vicinity of the Senkaku Islands. Malaysia has issues at Laconia Shoals. Indonesia has issues at Natuna Island and the Vietnamese have a broad set of concerns. And lastly, we see the same behavior on the Indian border. So this is not isolated. This is about the PRC trying to gain territorial space unilaterally through force. All right, let me ask you to talk a bit more as a military commander about China's strategic posture in the region at the moment because politically, of course, the relationship between Australia and China after a very difficult period has warmed up and that period of sort of attempted economic coercion has come to an end. We've had visits by the foreign minister, the Chinese Premier, is due to come later this year. It's been reported, I think, that the PLA Air Force has toned down some of its risky and coercive interceptions. I don't know if you agree with that since last year. But of course, it was earlier this year that a Chinese warship endangered Australian divers on board HMAS Tawumba. So you are painting a picture of consistency in a way in Chinese behavior. Is that true? How would you characterize it? Is it aggressive? Is it forward leaning? How would you describe it? Yeah, it certainly has been aggressive and you've named many of the examples. I do see a bit of optimism. So since President Biden spoke with President Xi, we, other than Tawumba, which happened, I think, the day after, but not one dangerous intercept or concerning maritime interaction since that point. That is an incredibly positive movement in the relationship. And number one, we have to keep that. I am concerned about increased aggressive action and the potential for an accident. That would put everything in a different place than we are today. So I'm encouraged by that. But I'm concerned that that is a tool in the toolkit of the PRC for when they are unhappy and when they are not achieving their strategic objectives. The stabilization of the relationship, I think as you articulated, we have both seen it. That is desirable for all the nations in the region, for that to be stabilized, but let's not lose sight onto why. The reenergize, or to be able to reenergize the Chinese economy is the number one priority. And for them to take that on and to focus there, the stabilization of the military sphere is a requirement. So I'm concerned that it's temporary. I am hopeful that it will continue, but I do believe it is a tool that will be used again at the time and place of their choosing. All right, let me ask you about the Korean Peninsula. You've got, I think, about 20,000 personnel deployed in ROK. We saw recently that Kim Jong-un say that unification is no longer possible and that the South is the primary enemy of the North. What does that tell us about the Kim family regime's long-term intentions towards South Korea? I'm not sure. So the United States maintains a minimum of 28,500 forces to be able to manage and to support the Republic of Korea and to deliver on our commitment towards peace and stability for the Republic of Korea and be prepared if there were actions. As I look at what Kim Jong-un is interested in, number one, he's interested in staying in power, the number one priority. We've seen a lot of rhetoric over the years. We've seen that rhetoric in a variety of different ways. General Paul O'Kammer is the unified commander at U.S. Forces Korea and he manages this with his Republic of Korea counterparts every day. The strength of the United States forces on Korea, the Republic of Korea military forces, the synchronization, the ability to be ready to fight tonight if needed, that's a pretty powerful deterrent and again, I don't believe. I do believe Kim Jong-un is rational and he understands he can't win against that force and that's the deterrence that makes sense. What about Taiwan, which has sort of been overshadowed a bit by second Thomas Scholl recently. There's often discussion about a PLA Navy blockade of the island in the event of a conflict. Does the Chinese Navy have the capacity to do that? Would that be considered an active war by the United States? Michael, that's gonna be a policy discussion and I'm not a policy maker. What I will say is I am concerned about the actions that I've seen. It's critically important to note that the United States policy as it applies to Taiwan has not changed. That has been told to President Xi by President Biden. It's been told by Secretary of Defense Austin to his counterpart previously. It's been told by me in every public event that I have done. The United States policy has not changed. Now it's worth highlighting what the United States policy is and the United States believes in a peaceful resolution of this issue to the satisfaction of people on both sides of the straits, free of coercion and what I'm watching at this point is increased coercion which is why I'm concerned. The United States does not seek an independent Taiwan. We are not executing any provocations. So again, I say it every place I go so that there should be no room for interpretation any other way. And like I said, the secretary has tasked me to operate in this region to deliver deterrent effects to prevent conflict, not to provoke it. All right, you mentioned Russia earlier when you were talking about threats that you have to consider in the Indo-Pakom area. I remember at the time of Russia's brutal invasion of Ukraine a couple of years ago that a lot of Asian analysts were worried that a forceful American response would turn America's head away from the Indo-Pacific. I must say I took the other view which is to say that all these theaters are connected and that it would be very bad for stability in Asia if Russia were to be able to successfully invade and defeat Ukraine. What was your view at the time? And do you think that the incredible effort that Washington has put into supporting and supplying Ukraine, has that affected the level of attention that you've got in Washington as Indo-Pakom commander? Yeah, Michael, so the answer is no. That said, I am not seeking attention in Washington. Let's just be clear. That said, I'm here to do the job that the secretary has tasked. So when the invasion occurred, right, the immediate actions was for me to get in touch with General Cavoli and say, what do you need? What do you need me to do over here? And let's make sure that we're synchronized such that my actions over here, number one, don't escalate and cause you a problem. And then number two, if you have actions you need me to take at the time and place of your choosing that we are postured and ready to do that. So that's what happened in the immediate aftermath. Those coordination and synchronization still happened today. On top of that, I'm with you. This is a globalized world, whether we like it or not, and it's almost unbreakable as we've looked at the global economic supply chains and everything else. Right, there's no more isolationists. But what you have seen is the importance of this region being articulated both in the Middle East and the EU and in Africa with my other counterparts. Two thirds of the global economy flows through the water space over here. Two thirds of the people are here. So that integration and interrelationships are critical. The EU and the UK understand it. I went to Europe and spoke at a conference two years ago to make that exact point when Minister Wallace asked me to come and speak for the exact reason you described. General Cavoli was in Japan and Korea three weeks ago to be able to ensure he was talking to the leadership there as it applies to his responsibility as strategic ally commander Europe. So we are having those conversations. We are telling the story or the synchronization that has to be linked between leaders in the United States military. And I'd argue that the rest of the United States forms of national power are also doing that. I was in the Philippines with Secretary Romondo a few weeks ago but before that she was in Europe. So all forms of national power synchronized to include the joint force aligned with our allies and partners to prevent conflict. That's Secretary Austin's definition of integrated deterrence. And through the military arm those are the actions that we've been trying to deliver. What about synchronization to use your term between the PRC and Russia? So over the weekend it was widely reported that Secretary Blinken had briefed US allies in Europe that China was stepping up its support for Moscow in its war with Ukraine including by providing geospatial intelligence for Russian forces. What, are you seeing that that no limits partnership is becoming closer and closer? Yeah, first when those two leaders speak we should listen because they normally tell us what they're thinking about. Specifically President Xi said this is a relationship that the world hasn't seen in 100 years. I took note of that, everybody else should. The actions you're describing, Michael, are becoming increased I believe to deliver a message to all, right? So authoritarian nations coming together to deliver their message and their view of what the international world order should look like, how the rules should be written, that is the most concerning thing as they come together. In the military space they're operating more together both in the maritime and the airspace. They are certainly supporting each other as has been articulated. So those are concerning and again I'd argue going in the wrong direction. All right, let me come a little closer to our shores to the Southwest Pacific. In April 2022 China and Solomon Islands signed a security agreement, but then shortly after the inking of that agreement, Beijing was rebuffed in its attempt to get the whole region to sign an overarching regional security agreement. How would you characterize China's efforts to further its interests with the Pacific Island countries? And how would it change the strategic calculus for the United States and for Australia if China were to construct a military base in one of those countries? So the strategy that I see them using is based on three pillars, right? So the Global Security Initiative, the Global Civilization Initiative and the Global Development Initiative. Those are the pillars that they've laid out. None of them have any depth or real specificity to them. They are articulated through the lens of win-win cooperation and the peaceful actions throughout the region, right? That's the rhetoric and the narrative. That's not the actions we see. So that's their approach through what has previously been referred to as Belt and Road and through what I think will kind of morph into this Global Development slash Civilization Initiative. What we've seen is economic coercion and the Pacific Islands are a prime target. I wanna thank General Campbell and Air Marshal Short from New Zealand, my counterparts here. General Campbell's leadership specifically in the Pacific Islands has been incredible and he has been a counsel and a guidance for me as we work to the delivery of support from our nations. And it's worth highlighting that Solomon Islands specifically that the Australians have provided billions of dollars in development to the Solomon Islands. The commitment and the history goes back a long way but General Campbell's leadership in the area has worked to synchronize our efforts to be able to provide capabilities and assistance to the Solomon Islands. We have an initiative to provide and upgrade the Federal Fishing Association so that they can understand maritime domain awareness. We have worked to present some national security impacts based on expected actions or results of climate change whether it be rising sea level, increased severity of storms, drought. All those things are potentially existential to the Pacific Islands and we work together to ensure we can help and support those islands, maintain their sovereignty, maintain their livelihood and to maintain their linkage and ability to have a voice in the rules-based order. So all that gets to the point that an increased military presence in that region is a direct threat to Australia as it applies to homeland defense. And it doesn't put the United States in a good position either. All right, let's come to Australia. I wanna ask you a few questions about AUKUS and then I'm gonna go to the audience and give them an opportunity to ask you some questions. What do you say to those critics in Australia of AUKUS who say that the United States may not live up to its side of the bargain? That given that submarine production is already running behind schedule, for example, we may not be able to acquire the Virginia class boats on time. Yeah, I wouldn't even have that conversation with anyone. The United States commitment is ironclad to the Australian and UK agreement that we've made. It is. The actions that, let me just tell you what's been going on since the agreement has occurred. All right, we have Australian sailors that have graduated from Nuke School and are now sitting in the prototype, learning to get their final qualifications for running a nuclear reactor. Those numbers of bodies in those schools are increasing at an exponential rate. Australians have been in US shipyards to understand how to do nuclear maintenance and synchronize efforts as it applies to submarine maintenance. We have training systems getting ready to come over. We have deployed Virginia class submarines to Australia. We have Australian service members and maintainers in Guam, looking and learning on how we do operations forward. We're gonna send both a submarine out as a pilot deployment from Sterling with the tender such that we will sync the operational aspect and the maintenance aspect to build our expertise and identify what's needed as you build out infrastructure. So in two years, we have delivered a ton and we will continue till we deliver a boat in 32. The commitment is ironclad. And it is needed, right? A very bold and brave decision by the leadership. It is a generation capability. That's number one, it's needed because of the threat. So I certainly admire the leadership for making a call and our commitment will deliver it. How do you envisage these boats operating in the future? You might have seen that Deputy Secretary Campbell over the weekend said the Orcus boats could be used in cross-strait circumstances, for example, which was a reference to Taiwan contingencies. Do you agree with that? Well, I think that will be Australia's call and how they decide to utilize their operational units when and if the time comes. That said, we coordinate in almost every day out here. We are interoperable beyond any other nations. So those are policy decisions on what they decide to do, but that capability certainly has the ability to operate anywhere they want to deliver any mission that Australia would choose. Let me ask you about Jorkus. There's a lot of speculation that Japan might join Orcus and this morning the three Defense Ministers released a statement saying they're considering cooperation with Japan on pillar two projects. What would that mean? I think it gets to the multilateral discussion that we started with, or Michael. The importance of having the broad set of like-minded nations being able to share high-end technologies to deliver warfighting capability, those things deliver deterrence. The synchronization of Japan, Australia, and the United States was evident in the most recent keen-edge exercise that we did. Previously, a bilateral US-Japan exercise, my counterpart in the government of Japan invited Australia to participate, and it was an incredible event. It pulled together those three nations in a way that we haven't seen in a long time. So the trend is going in the right direction. We'll see if the policy team decides that they will pull in Japan, that won't be my decision, but I'm certainly supportive of the capabilities shared with Australia and Japan and the United Kingdom. There are capabilities that we need to deliver the defense required as a part of the mutual defense treaties, right? Integrated air and missile defense or networked missile defense comes to mind. There are space capabilities that I think contribute to that that would be effective. There are cyber capabilities. So the list of those capabilities would be beneficial for Japan, if that's so chosen. There's a bit of Orcus envy, I think, around at the moment. You might have seen that Justin Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister said he'd been speaking to counterparts about Canadian participation in Orcus, and he was musing about whether perhaps Canada needed nuclear-powered boats to patrol the Canadian Arctic. So, I mean, we might have Caucasus coming down the pike. Is that realistic, though, do you think? Could you imagine Canada investing in and acquiring and operating a fleet of nuclear-powered submarines? Yeah, I think that's a better question for Canada. What I would say is, as the threat keeps delivering more concern to the rest of the nations, I think every nation out there is looking at what are those capabilities they need to, number one, defend their nation. And then, number two, how to best do it tied to allies and partners. So, again, you have to say that. No comment on Caucasus. You gotta save that for General Wayne Air and for the Canadian leadership, as well as the policy makers in the United States. Okay, I'm gonna, please put up your hand if you'd like to put a question to the admiral. I'm gonna sneak one in that we've received online from someone you probably know, Dimitri Sevastopolou from the FT. And Dimitri asks, what about second Thomas Scholl, what more can the US do to increase deterrence in that area? I think what you just witnessed through a multilateral lens is what we think Wright looks like. So if you were unaware, we executed a combined patrol of the Australians, the Philippines, the Japanese and the United States in the region to demonstrate the ability to operate safely and effectively in the region in accordance with the international rules that exist. So the rule of law is important. I think those types of events and things are exactly what we need to do to demonstrate that strength amongst the like-minded allies and partners and that we will continue to operate anywhere international law allows. All right, yes, this gentleman had his hand up first. If you could just wait for a microphone, if you could tell us your name and if you could ask a short question for the admiral, please. Thank you, Admiral. Tim called, may be retired. The question of military bases in China's military bases in Solomon Islands and other islands, could they be rather Coast Guard, China Coast Guard bases so that China Coast Guard, which is the largest in the world could deploy their Coast Guard ships to the region, the close-in region, and operate in a quasi-constabulary situation rather than gray PLA in-holes? Yeah, that's exactly the model we see, right? The articulation of the PRC is that everything inside the nine-dash line is Chinese sovereign territory and they are using their Coast Guard to enforce what they believe is their coast. So they're absolutely linked. That said, there's no separation between whether it be the military militia in the form of fishing vessels, the Chinese Coast Guard or their gray hulls. They are all commanded and controlled by the military. All right, who else would like to ask a question? Yes, madam? Hello, Admiral. Thank you for taking the question. I am Ludica from Japanese media, Nikkei. My question is on the Darwin port. The Australian government last year found it was not necessary to cancel the lease of the port by a Chinese-owned company while the US military is planning to build the US Air Force Mission Planning and Appalachian Center. Would you have any concerns about the current contract agreement? Arrangement, thank you. It's a great opportunity to make news in Australia. Well, number one, I don't have any concerns because anything that has to happen will have the government of Australia's approval. The United States doesn't do anything in Australia without the coordination of government of Australia approval. So the sovereignty of Australia is of critical importance to the United States and it's our commitment. The United States only comes to Australia when Australia approves. That said, there are many places that we come to, whether it be a port call in Sterling by a nuclear-powered submarine, whether it be a B-2 bomber, and I stood on the ground at Amberley about a year and a half ago when we did a B-2 detachment to Australia. It's important that the United States and Australia can operate together from Australia. Should we have to execute our responsibilities under our mutual defense treaty? But not one detachment or one US service member comes to Australia without the Australian leadership approval. Sovereignty of the nations in the region is the critical component of why the international rules matter. All nations get a choice. And I always say large or small nations, we don't care, every nation gets an equal voice, and we certainly work towards the peaceful resolution of any disagreements. But don't lose sight of the fact that what we believe in is freedom for our people, sovereignty of our nations, and the ability to have an equal voice as we work through disagreements. All right, yes? Michael Bohm. Thank you. Michael Bohm, has the changed leadership in Indonesia changed any of the strategic atmospheric? Well, I sent President-elect Prabowo a congratulatory note last week. He's certainly not in the seat yet, so I think the answer to your question is it remains to be seen. I think there are a lot of common values that the like-minded nations in the region have with Indonesia, and I think there's opportunity there for us to work more closely together. Two years ago, we initiated Garuda Shield as a multinational, multi-domain, multi-service exercise, and I flew there at the time. It was with General Andika. That exercise has continued and grown. So, again, this goes to the chief's agreement with more multilateral set of actions because we're stronger when we're together. So I think the potential certainly exists. We'll see what happens. We do have common values. Another big Asian democracy that is increasingly important in the region is India, and although it remains, it's not a US ally, of course. It remains a non-aligned country. It's come back into the Quad. What are your observations of India as a strategic actor under Prime Minister Modi? I think what India has seen is they have a country on their border that is providing some concerns for them as it applies to the ability to maintain their sovereignty on the line of actual control. I think you read last year or last week in the media that the Chinese have renamed 30 areas across the Indian border. To the point before, this is an approach that we've seen. We're gonna rename and claim it, and then at some point in the future, we'll dictate it as history, revisionist history, but history nonetheless, and they'll erase the history of where the line of actual control really is. So I think India has similar concerns as it applies to nations in the region. And they are continuing to work more with the allies and partners. I mentioned Malabar before. That exercise has also been increased, and we'll continue to work together. I think we have to take a long view. I think we need to ensure we understand that we're actually working towards the same goal, which is a peaceful, stable, and a free and open Indo-Pacific. And by working together, we can deliver that. We're almost out of time, but does anyone else wanna sneak a question in? Yes, I'll go to this gentleman here. Thank you. Michael, you're okay. Firstly, yeah, thanks so much for your time. It's been incredibly interesting. I think probably everyone's thinking the same. You talked about your two missions that Secretary Austin has set you. So firstly, to prevent conflict in the region, secondly, if that goes wrong, to be ready to fight and win in the region. What's your take on America's willingness to fight a conflict far from home, and you've seen recently the likes of Speaker Johnson holding up support for the likes of Ukraine. Is America ready for a conflict? And also, how do you navigate potential changing administrations in the way that you prepare for mission to, if it should arise? Yeah, so we've been changing administrations for 200 and whatever the number of years is. As are all nations in the region, have changed leadership. I think what we can count on is, number one, we'll go ahead and execute whatever the election delivers. That said, from the United States in the military, we swear an oath to a constitution, not to an individual, and we follow the legal orders of those in charge. If somebody is doubting, the United States will to fight if tasked, that's a bad call. All right, that would be a drastic miscalculation. That's a very strong statement, I'm just letting that settle. We've got a couple of minutes. I wanna ask you, we just heard from that gentleman, he mentioned again Ukraine. Can I ask you a question as a naval officer? What lessons do you think we should take from how Ukraine has been successful, even though it hardly has a navy to speak of in terms of taking out major Russian naval assets? What should the US Navy, other navies take from the new technologies, drones, and so on? Does it change the game? Yeah, I don't think it changes the game. I think what we're seeing is innovative ways to deliver effects when needed. You know, I don't think anything that I've seen there has surprised me. I don't think anything really has surprised General Cavoli either. I think what we ought to learn, however, is it could happen anywhere, right? Two years ago, I'll bet you most in the audience would have said there is no way Russia will invade Ukraine. So irrational decisions are made when we all expect everyone to act rationally. We ought to be aware of that, all right? I'm deathly aware of it, which is why I haven't slept in three years. That's foundational. Number two, we should expect changes in innovation. The responsibilities, however, for commanders haven't changed. So number one is to protect your force. Number two, to deliver effects to achieve your objectives. And we have to be able to do all of those. In this region, we have to be prepared to do them together, hence the interoperability, the exercising, and the practice. And we have to have confidence that we don't have any spin-up time, all right? This is about ships coming together instantaneously and being able to deliver combat effectiveness without a month of work-up and training. And that's the target General Campbell and I continue to work towards with Australia and the United States, which is high-end training in everything we do. It's not about showing up and being able to talk on the radio. It's about delivering high-end war-fighting effects anytime, anywhere, instantaneously. Admiral, I'm a bit alarmed to hear that you haven't slept for three years, but I'm relieved that in a month or so you're gonna be able to catch up on your sleep when Admiral Samuel Paparro takes over as Indo-Paycom commander. What will you do next? Is there any chance of you pulling a Maverick and going back to Top Gun School to train the next generation of naval aviators? I don't think that's in the cards. I am gonna go back, however, in two weeks and I'm gonna speak to the graduating class. Whether or not they let me get in an airplane for a last flight remains to be seen. We're trying to make that happen, but I will tell you I got a call from the dock who voiced some concerns, but. Anyway, we'll see what happens there. I'm incredibly proud of what the entire joint force does, so the Top Gun is the Navy's fighter weapon school. The Air Force has theirs at Nellis Air Force Base. The Army goes through the training centers to be able to learn, train, and operate at the high end. The Marine Corps and the Navy coordinate as a part of the ARGMU's training cycles. And then all of the allies and partners go to each other's schools and places to share and to become, to have a deep understanding of how we get better together. So Top Gun's one example, but it is brought across the joint force. It is linked with our allies and partners, and those training events happen all the time. So I'm just incredibly proud of what the United States can generate in the form of military power. How and what we can do when we talk about the synchronization of that military power through all domains, undersea, on the sea, above the sea, in space and cyberspace. And then the fact that we can do all of that with our allies and partners, that's why we're unbeatable. Well, ladies and gentlemen, we're out of time. I think you'll agree it's been a rare treat to hear from Admiral Aquilino this evening. Thank you, Admiral. We wish you all the best, Chris, in whatever happens in a month's time. We certainly hope the dock signs off on you going up in the air, but we hope you get back on the deck. Thank you for coming to Blyth Street. Thank you for taking our questions. We wish you fair wins in following seas. Thank you, Michael. Thanks, everybody.


Hey, this is one of them gangs, baby.  How you doing? What up? Good we are. Come on, let's f***ing ball. Focus on three. One, two, three. Go! Time to go up. Let's go. Oh, yeah. We need another drive just like that. Oh, yeah. Touchdown. Corderole around the left edge at the five-stiff arm. Touchdown. Bears did it, sweet. We right here beside each other, too. You know they listen. They're going to flip it all the way back. Wide open Zaccheus, 35-40. We're going to f***ing get it. Shame. Huntley, left side. Touchdown Atlanta.


reveal your secrets. Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the Procrastinator's podcast, a podcast about internet people talking about stuff. I'm the best guy ever and we're joined today by Munchie Wears Tiny Hats. Don't let my mom know I'm here. I'm sneaking out, I went to the, we're in the back of a Barnes and Nobles where they sell the porn. Don't let my mom know or she'll know that I have carnal sins and that she will kick me out of my saternity home. Yes, excellent. Hippocrite is here. I haven't eaten in hours and I have a burger in front of me and if I make a noise, I'm sorry. Okay, good. Tom Oliver is joining us. You're not supposed to know I'm here. It's a secret. Gee. Hats. Oh, well now the cat's out of the bag. And Munchie Jones. Jon Tron just put up a new video. Ah! Ah! One week ago. Impressive shrieking. Didn't that guy start to write it?  Today our topic of discussion is, it's apropos that you mentioned Barnes and Noble because we're reviewing The Secret, the world-famous book that everyone loves that taught the world to love again, to feel, to be a real guy. I thought it was The Secret. Like ooze and slime come out of it. Secreting ooze. Yes, yes, that too, it's all these things. When you said secret, the first thing I thought of was like secreting anal juices and I don't know why. Oh, I know why. All my juices are there besides poop.  That's one of my secrets. I know. Got a lot to learn. Well, there you go. Okay, you know what? Let's all scrap that. The secret topic of the episode. I forgot Hippo was eating. Yeah, I was just gonna say.  This is what you get. I'm talking to eating bags. So yeah, we're talking about secrets, everybody. We're talking about secrets. That's the real secret of this episode. And here is the Urban Dictionary definition of secret. Here it is. Can't tell ya.  That's it, that's the whole thing. Okay, here's definition number two. Information you tell someone when you spelled with just the letter you, when you want it to become public knowledge by morning. That's perfect because that's every story I have to tell about this topic. Oh, that's good, that's good. Yes, that is good. I like this. Secret, oh, it's strong enough for a man made for a woman. These are all great.  So he's the real PCP man. He's the main success of the PCP, yeah. Yeah, we owe them everything.  What secrets do you have, Munchy? I'm paranoid, just to start out. I might be the most paranoid PCP member next to you, Nate. I am very paranoid, I know you're- That's a tall order. Yeah, yeah, you're more paranoid than I am, but needless to say I'm still, whenever I look at someone, I instantly just assume they want to kill me and therefore I have to assert my dominance and hold, I have to have emotional power over them to ensure that they want to talk to me, therefore, it's in their best interest not to kill me. I know just how you feel. I don't trust anyone. I don't trust anyone at any time and I need to know that I have leverage over them in some way, even if it's just social, you know? Yeah, that sounds good, man. Yeah, yeah. So I don't really have a lot of secrets per se, but I love just knowledge. I have knowledge and smarts and wisdom that I keep inside my brain.  I would say to you, prying to my brain. Yeah. I don't like it when people know things. Even, common, I don't like it when textbooks are out. I don't like it when people are learning. So basically, you're against non-secrets. You think all information should be contained in the form of secrets as in no one should have access to it. I'm against education and learning as a concept. I'm against self-betterment in any sort of way. The fake news advocate. Oh, you're the number one champion of fake news in the world after Hillary Clinton, of course. Of course. Incredible. Well, let me get some hand sanitizer. One not secrets. I love hand sanitizer. You guys don't have to be my friend to know that.  Okay, good. Is anyone else have any secret story? I mean, Mom, you were implying that you had a couple stories about secrets. What do you got for us? Well, last episode during the incest discussion, we all heard the great tale of how I got cucked by my best friend and his sister. And that was supposed to be a big secret that she confessed to me and made me promise I would not tell anybody. And as Urban Dictionary, let us all know. The next morning was when I pretty much let everybody know because here's the thing about secrets. I would like to think that I'm pretty trustworthy. I would like to think if somebody gave me a secret, they didn't want me to tell anybody. I would stay true to that. However, and I think this is a rule that should apply to everybody. If the secret somebody is confessing to you is something that like completely fucks you over.   That's the front page of Facebook tomorrow morning, my friend. You know, I forget the name of it, but that reminds me of this great episode of The Boondocks where like the two, I forgot the name of the two white guys who are played by like Samuel Jackson and another guy. Yeah, like it's great, it's great.   Like no one's gonna, what's it called? Snitch it, no snitch it. That's sort of the word I'm looking for.   And then I believe actually, okay, so they don't do anything necessarily bad to him, but at the end of the episode, so they're just in general ruining the neighborhood, which has a minor impact on Riley's life, which kind of sucks. But then at the end of the episode, they just steal his bike and like ride off with it.  And then the cops will walk up and they're like, son, does something happen here? Is there anything you'd like to tell us?  He's like clenching his fist and just screaming at the injustice of it.     Yeah, it was a great episode.  I'm curious to see if you guys agree with this sort of philosophy of the morality of secrets in that if the secret you're holding makes your life worse by not confessing it, do you have a right to confess it? If it will improve the quality of your life by... I mean, I guess if it comes down to like, if you break the promise, what happens to your life? Do people not trust you? Or is it just the person that told you the secret doesn't trust you with knowledge? Cause like, you gotta weigh the options of what will happen to you. If your life will become so much better by confessing that it doesn't matter if people think you might not be trustworthy, then of course, like I don't see the point in having a pride about being trustworthy if your life is shit because of it. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. That was Riley's problem, you know?  Yeah, I think that the two are kind of discreet factors, but there's a context for everything and there's a limit to how much you should like hold any one position like that. Like truth is really not always the best policy.  Well, sometimes she does. Well, sometimes. Again, it depends on the context.  I think she knows that one. But here's the context, like if you're going out for a night on the town with your lady and she says to you like, do I look fat?   So white light.  I need to know for this competition. I don't wanna get humiliated up there. If you lie and plakie her until a night, no. Yeah, exactly.   That's like, see, that's the two different ways to treat that particular example, you know? Yeah. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it's wrong, per se, you know, ever. Well, okay, wrong.  I guess lying and secrets are two different things incidentally. Yeah, I was gonna say. Yeah, well, yeah, well, okay, but they're kind of linked to you. They're kind of the same thing, so. They're linked, they're linked. Well, there's the secrets that you keep. Trustworthiness. The secrets that you keep for other people and then there are secrets that you just know and that are, you know, nobody confided and you just know something and you don't know whether to tell anyone. And when you do, they now have your secret, I guess. We all have a secret. We all have a secret. It's like having the knowledge that you know that Osama bin Laden isn't the leader of the Taliban. Like everyone wants to pretend that he is, but you don't want to tell the government because you know that if they find out the truth that you are actually the leader of the Taliban, they're calling after you next. It's a situation like that. To that point about how I am the leader of ISIS, you know, it's like, it's, I do think that those are two discrete factors to a monkey's point there.  You know, he's an unstable kind of guy. He's like, I'm sorry, father. I don't want to do it, et cetera, et cetera. Like, first of all, I don't care about religion at all.  But in terms of like the social standing there about how these guys like come here just to confess, like frankly, the whole confession thing to me, I guess I'm going on a little bit of a tangent, but like the confession thing is sort of the way that like these guys get to like ease the burden of the sins that they've done. And I don't want them to be eased of their burden. I want them to be crushed under the weight of the crimes they've committed because they deserve it. At least, I guess not every single time, but you know, with stuff like this. But in any case, yeah, like if the priest decides that it's, he really needs to like come forward, that like really does help the world.  Just a negative consequence in other ways. So you really gotta weigh it. Nate, do you think that there's a delicate balance between justice and secrecy, or do you think justice should always be more important than like keeping an oath? You know, it's tough. Since we live in the real world and not a fantasy world where you can like always expect perfect justice all the time, I think sometimes it is appropriate to conceal things that might help people. If it would cause other problems, you know? Like if you tell someone that like, fuck, I don't know. Like if someone's got amnesia and they used to be a murderer and like they, now that like they had amnesia they woke up, they're in a new place and they're just like a new person and they're a really good person or something. Like does it make sense to then like sentence this person for the crimes that they committed before? Like I know that's a crazy example, but that's the sort of idea. But wouldn't it bring like peace to the families? Cause now they know who killed their person and like all that stuff. Well, that's true. But again, like you're weighing a family's satisfaction at a man, you know, being locked up versus like now there's a guy who in this one example who isn't causing any problems who you're going to lock up because of, you know a situation that's basically been resolved on his and no one else is going to be hurt. And you know, it kind of comes down to the whole idea of like, what is the purpose of it? You're assuming that there's going to be no like resurgence of memories where he's not going to. I am assuming that that's true.  Like it's very, like you know everything about the situation. Yeah, by that same logic, like we just need some murder who didn't lose his memory but still decides, you know what? I killed that one guy. I got it out of my system. Now I'm just going to be an upstanding gentleman and like for the rest of his life he never does anything. Well, hang on. Okay, there's actually a cool example of this. There was a guy recently who, fuck, what did he do? I don't know. He had done something and he was sentenced to like, I think like 20 years or something. Maybe less than that. And when he was a kid, he committed some crime, got sentenced, whatever. And so like, so there's a thing when you get sentenced, if you're on bail, like you get sent like a note to like bring yourself to jail, like report to jail now.      And the thing is, he really turned his life around and became a great guy. So like, did he pay the price of like, you know, committing the crime that he did legitimately commit? I mean, according to the law, no, but in the grander scheme of things, the suffering that he went through of like living life on the edge all the time and being so afraid of fucking anything up and getting his name like in the legal books and that way, that's a punishment end of its own. Talk about a secret, secret life. And it's funny, he didn't even tell like his wife and kids. So like later on when they actually, like the paperwork did get sorted and they came for him, that was, he was like, honey, there's something I need to tell you. Card him out the door. Incidentally, in that case, they let the guy go because like it was such a clear case that he had just, he had served his sentence basically by making himself a real nigga. And what's worse, being in prison or having a family, I think he's paying for his crimes. Yeah. You got a ball and chain on you either way. Yeah, you're fucked. Yeah. Tom, tell me all your secrets, all of them. I want the whole shebang, I want the ball. All of my secrets. We got all night, baby. I don't know, I don't really, do I have any secrets if I do, they're so innocuous. I don't remember what they are. Tell me this, Tom, you never liked my little pony. You just did it for that oculus rift money. Yeah, I actually have like seven oculus rifts I have one for every day of the week. Oh my God.   I even have an HTC Vive for the weekends, it's fantastic.  He played us. Has anybody had an experience where you shared a secret and that person was not trustworthy? Yes. Good question. I don't know if I have. Munchie, what do you got, buddy? Yes, when I was in fifth grade, there was some sort of a school dance of some sort where all the little babies would touch their flabby meat against one another and would be a disgusting display for only the depraved and twisted to have any sort of illicit reaction to. Anyway, I went there with my friend, Rocky.   Yeah, okay. I just wanna jump out a window so I can get away from the sound.  I'm fucking, I'm going on a bender, bro.  Anyway, so I just fucking, I'm just walking with them and he's like, fucking, I love Wii sports. I'm like, dude, I know. Anyway. That was the big secret. Oh no, you spilled the beans. No, no, then I forget what happens. And I was just like, dude, what if like girls weren't awful? And he was like, dude, I'm gonna go tell that girl right now that you are. Oh no. And then I was like, what? That doesn't make any sense. And he went and did it. And then I was just like, I don't know who you are. And she was like, it's okay if you love me. I understand, I'm beautiful.     I just wanted to eat what I came to the dance floor. I wanted to eat the gummy worms. Did you guys ever have, I think they're called like dirt cups or whatever, they're chocolate pudding with Oreo crumble on the top. There's a gummy worms in them. Oh yeah. It's no secret, those are the best things ever.  Ha ha, slam dunk. All of you. All of you for the slam dunk, dude. Yeah, okay, good. Good, good. And I've forgipped them immediately because I had no other friends. Oh you did. Ha ha ha, that's the way to do it. Give, tell me your secret. Okay, gladly. Actually, hang on. I just gotta take a bite of this burger. It's been sitting here this whole time. I'm really hungry actually. Now's your chance.  Don't worry about us. Okay, good. My secret is one slime of the worm and I broke them. Keep it going. I'm just, excuse me, but. It's juicy.  You buried the body there?  Oh no. I'm sorry, hippo.   Oh yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's basically what happened.  Hey! Look out down below. Here it comes, banana slam, a conga bongo, the hero. Yeah, that's my secret. That was a bombshell. I've got a story of the time a friend betrayed me and did not keep a secret. It was third grade, I was eight years old. I had this friend named Hunter and I lived out in the country. So whenever I went to go stay the night at Hunter's house, I could finally be out in the suburbs, baby. We could raise some hell in a place where there's actually people and I'm not just alone in the middle of nowhere. And Hunter has this checkbook of blank checks. I don't know where he got it because he's eight. But we thought, you know what would be funny as hell? What if we filled out one of these checks for a million dollars and we went to our friend Will's house and we put it in his mailbox? That would be the funniest thing of all time. And thinking back, I don't know why we thought it would be funny, I have no idea, no idea. So we do it.  So we're like, oh man, what a big secret. Oh man, we did this big prank, we put a check in his mailbox, we're gonna get in so much trouble, we're gonna get arrested if they find out. The next day at school, the next day at school.  I don't like it.  So it's like her name dash husband's last name. Disgusting, I hate it.  One or the other.     And she says, Jimmy, Jimmy, come here. I'm like, uh-oh, uh-oh, that's not good. They're gonna interview us one at a time, that's not good. So she sits me down. I'm alone in the room with her and she says, classic. So did you and your friend Hunter, do you guys do anything yesterday? I'm like, no, no, I don't know what you're talking about. And she says, you know, I heard this rumor that you might have put something in someone's mailbox. I'm like, uh-oh, red alert. What are we gonna do? I gotta make up some sort of crazy lie. But at the same time, Hunter is also going to be interviewed and if he doesn't have the same crazy lie as me, then we're fucked, we're fucked. That's the classic divide and conquer interrogation technique. Absolutely. So I say, oh, that was just a joke. We made up a joke that we did that. We didn't actually do that. It was just a joke.  So she takes me back to the classroom and says, hey Hunter, can you come with me? And I said, in front of everybody, there's 20 other kids, two teachers in the room, and I say, hey Hunter, yeah, she wants to ask us about that joke we told. Remember that joke? Nice. Yeah. I thought I was super conspicuous about it. Like, hey, you know, that joke would tell her about it. About five minutes later, Hunter's back and she calls me out again, uh-oh. Fuck. And of course, she's more mad that I lied to her than that we put something in someone's mailbox because as it turns out, we're not in trouble for that. So I don't know why she even called us out in the first place. So that's the time Hunter betrayed me. He couldn't keep the secret and he didn't know what a joke was.    Because like, she didn't know about, I mean, the mailbox thing wasn't possible, right?  I don't get it. You didn't get in trouble for the mailbox stuff. Like, I have no idea what the point of it was, but it was over 15, about 15 years ago, so maybe I'm missing a detail in my memory, but I just remember that part.  Oh, of course. And it was me every time. I was going to go to the office every other month in elementary school. Calm down, Mark Simpson. I remember one time, if we want to tell stories about how we got in trouble in elementary school. I definitely do. The first time I got sent to the principal's office was because when I was five, so this is like kindergarten, recess is over and we're all lining up to go back inside. And I don't know what came over me, but for some reason, there's this girl named Lauren who I kind of liked.  And I have no idea, like, what came over me, why I would even say that. I don't actually want to see this little girl with pants off. You're just getting straight to the act. You're getting down to business. Yes, no. In your instance, yeah. Next thing I know, I'm in the principal's office, but luckily this principal was the type of guy who would say, so what'd you do?   So at least the principal was a cool guy. That's good.   Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky.  He was like a fucking, he was like a super hall monitor. Instead of like a hall monitor, he was a world monitor. He monitored every action to every system. That's it. And a hero. Yeah, yeah. So I'm picturing him as the all-seeing eye of Sauron. Yeah, yeah. And looking about the hallways, yeah, okay. Yeah, exactly. But with the badge on.  And whenever I said, and then we got into a fight he would just say, dude, look at the badge, bro. Look at the badge. Look at the badge, dude. Look at it. Respect it. Yeah, respect the badge.   I don't care if the parents are divorced, Rocky.  Me too, dude.  And as we've established, he loves Wii Sports. Yeah, he loves it. He can't take this kind of embarrassment, right? In front of his whole family and clan, he needs to redeem himself.  And so he gets Sean to interrogate me. And Sean comes over and he kicks me aside and he's like, dude, I heard a rumor. Is it true you're a thief? Is it true that you've broken the law? Those are serious aspersions we've heard about. Jesus Christ. And I know I'm innocent, so I just say, what do you think?  Are you like spit on his badge? You spit on his badge?   And he gives me a great turn of phrase. Okay, all right. That's what the policeman says at the end of the thrilling action movie where he's been intellectually dueling with a cold-hearted criminal, which is you in this case. Fuck, what was it again? What was the line? You're reckless, but I believe you. Yes, yes. The moment when respect was forged for a lifetime. Yes. Brothers in arms.  And then I walk back and I'm smiling graces. I'm smiling wisely, knowing that my superior erotic life has gotten me out of yet another jam. Yeah.   So he walks out and I hear, like I don't know about this during the time, but then like I meet with Sean after school and he just says, I told him, I told him that I found out the truth and that he can't hide the truth from the world monitor himself. He actually, by the way, he called himself the world monitor, by the way. That wasn't me making up. He really did? He called himself the world monitor. Yeah.  He wants control of everything. It's his better, his ill nature got ahold of him, his senses. Anyway, so Rocky was shamed from the entire class and Sean just said he was untrustworthy. But after school, Rocky said, I don't have anyone play Wii sports with me. Can you please come over now? I was like, okay. But I have to have a Smarties. I have to have a Smarties. I need to have one of your Smarties. And he gave me one of their Smarties and I played Wii sports and I beat him again. He yelled at me and told me to leave the room. It was a good time. What a journey. Real quick here, also in middle school, I was known for picking people up. That was like what I did.  And so I would pick people up. And the people lined up for like 10 people would line up for me to pick them up and just set them back down.  Anyway, so this fucking- Maybe they actually just wanted a hug. Yeah, maybe.  Ah, Jesus. Always causing problems, the goddamn disabled.   Apologize already. Anyway.  I need to know it's like to feel young again.   And so I lift him up and he immediately, he's like spying cracks. Like he gets the wind taken out of him.    Was this a kid or an actual old man? No, this is a child. What's the difference between a child who's that weak and an old man? There is none. They're basically the same thing, OK. Anyway, so I get in trouble for him wanting me to pick him up and providing that service for him. There's no justice. There's no justice. I did what he wanted me to do and I got fucking- And the worst thing is, I went to tell the principle that it was like end of lunchtime. So I just went to class. And then I was like some sort of computer science class or some of that effect. And we were just in the computer lab. And I heard people looking around me.   I was like, no, it's not true!  It's not true. I'm a good boy. And then I went to the principle's office and he was like, and I walked into his office and he was like looking through the Venetian blinds. Everything was dark and he was just like missing. What did you do? And I just like started, I was like, I provided the service he wanted. I provided the service he wanted. I'm a good guy. I'm a good vendor. I'm a good host. And he was just like, it's not good enough. And so he sent it to me to detention. It was a scary time. That was a big secret, guys. It was a big secret. Yeah, good secret. Good secret. When I think of secrets, a lot of the times I think of gossip. Because that's usually like, it's never been said, hey, here's a secret, blah, blah, blah, this and that. It's usually like, oh, I heard from one person, a friend of a person, that they're going through this. Did you hear this? Yeah, it's like, you're not really supposed to bring it up unless you want to be a gossipy person. And I don't know. I don't really feel like I have any secrets that I remember holding or getting given. Because despite being the kid that never said anything and was known for not doing any words out of my mouth, nobody thought, ah, this guy I can confide in, I guess nobody had anything to say, or at least not to me. And I never had anything I cared to say to anyone else. Because it's like, a lot of the time, it's gossip. It's like, why would you tell someone else about this thing? Because you want to feel the rush of it going behind someone's back, I guess. And I don't get that. I don't feel that. So I never had a secrets. I think gossiping gives people a sense of empowerment. When they're sharing new information with someone, that's a gift they get to give out. And they get to watch the person give them credit for being the one who shared that. Something like that, anyway. I would say I am the duality of man and personified if I do say so myself. Dr. Munchy and Mr. Hat. Yeah, exactly. I am gossipy, I think. But if you tell me to not say something, then I will not. I get off on being loyal.    I'm going to fucking, ah, ah, ah. I'm like that.  What do you think about that, huh? I'll be like, everyone's going to know about this guy fucking. Why did you tell Ben's secret? He trusted you. I guess I'm gossipy like normal, like a normal human level.  Like, you know. Not that bad. Not that bad.  I just thought you might like to know. I want to be part of this conversation. I've got to say something. But like, I don't know. Like I don't. I'm just like discussing things. And like, I'm gossiping in the sense that if there's a problem, if someone's like working through a problem, it's not like a secret.    Like, how do I get this person to be happy? Kind of like a view of it. Actually, wait, I figured out why I'm thinking. I figured out why I can't think of any secrets. It's because I don't think of them. When I think of a secret, I think of something you want to tell people. And I don't care about anything that I'm told. If somebody says something to me, I won't ever say it to anyone else, really. And if they expressly say, please don't tell anyone, I'll be like, yeah, yeah, of course. And it won't even feel like a secret. It won't feel like it's just waiting to be unleashed on people. Like it's not even part of my brain anymore. It's just sort of like, oh yeah, I guess I know that. Calling something a secret can kind of give it a red flag in your memory and it'll make you kind of want to talk about it. So yeah, sometimes you're better off.  Hey! Hippo, I'm trying to eat over here. Let's discuss in brief. So this has been coming up a couple of times. So are we all in agreement that honesty is not always the best policy? Does anyone feel differently from that? I would say it's usually the best, but there are times when you like lying is just better. Only as it deals in absolutes. I like being honest and being known as someone who just, like if I say something, I want people to know that that's what I mean. Yeah. Unless I'm obviously doing it in a silly voice and it's a joke.  I would rather just be a person who says it. You're talking about women.  That's my secret.  In fairness, men do it too. Oh yeah, yeah, of course. It's not really a secret after the fetish episode. Yeah. I want to know what you think. I also like being like honest, like known as like, oh, if I say this, then it's like real. It's like, like, I do like having to not specify like, this isn't a joke, by the way. This is a real thing that I truly do believe. But I never believe anything anyone says to me almost ever. I always have to like, I have to be like up really. Is that really? And then like five, like five round, more rounds and I'll be like, maybe I believe you possibly. So basically you'll believe things the more times that they're insisted upon by the person as long as they don't change the story or crack under the psychological pressure of your interrogation. I like to believe that everyone is a real and that everything they say is completely true unless otherwise specified. Cause especially on the internet, thinking any other way is confusing and time consuming. Just think about like, oh, are they real? Are they saying that for real? No, they're completely true because they haven't said, by the way, I'm lying yet. I think you have to take the opposite approach online. I think you should assume everybody is lying until proven honest. I basically agree with that. It's funnier if I just think everyone's real. Well, you know, even, even not even just online but in all aspects of life, I was gonna say that I don't think there's a single person in the world. I mean, it depends what you mean by truth, but like I think that everyone is constantly wearing like different masks and they're presenting themselves differently to different people. And that doesn't, you know, like in a situation like here recording the PCP, I'm behave a certain way and then, you know, in a different situation, I might act differently if I'm with a different crowd or like when I'm at work, you know, when I'm at work, that's me. Is it me keeping a secret that I don't present myself at work the same way I do on here? I think, I don't know. With things like that, it's like, I don't think so. I think everybody knows you have to have a professional attitude when you're at work. I don't think you've, I think everybody you know at work, that's not really them.  Sure. And I don't know, I don't really think there's a moral issue with most secrets, unless there's, you know, some important thing attached to this. If we're talking about like masks and shit, I feel like the masks you wear the most often is the true you, but it doesn't really matter too much whether you're true all the time. I don't think there's a true you, but okay. Well like all of the different masks are you, but like you can only see a couple of them at a time. If you want to say as a matter of convenience, like when you like go home, okay, so when you're at work, you're like doing a job, you're interacting with people, that's you acting a certain way.  But here's a question though, if you spend like, let's just say your job is incredibly intense and you spend 16 hours a day at work with your game face on, and then you only spend eight hours a day at home, does that mean the true you is now the work you based on the percentage that's been now? I don't know, I just threw that idea out there. Is it your resting position? Maybe it's your resting position. I think it's the true you. If you have to, if you're at any point, if you're filtering your thought and actions through like what you believe is socially acceptable in that situation, I don't think that's your true self. Your true self is when like, I'm just gonna do what I want and I'm not worried about consequences or judgments.  Yeah, but then everybody would be a rapist. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But the fact that I have never, well okay, that's not going to be personally, but like people, yeah, it's not a secret podcast. It is, that's true.  It'd be sure nice to pocket that and just walk out.  Yeah, you know. If they're charging $10, you have a moral obligation to steal that candy. Yeah, that's true, that's true. Okay, okay. I would describe your quote unquote true self like this. Imagine a nice roll or ball of slime and gel and sort of, you know. Don't kind of tell me twice. I have mine here before me, yes. Yeah, yeah. Would it be green? It can be whatever color you think most represents your soul. So in your case, it would be a putrid yellow. Oh, oh no. Possibly have a blood clots in it and sins. Oh no. How am I eating him? Anyway, okay, so you have that nice slime layer. Then you get like, for every context, it's like a new cheese grater you have. It has different sized holes and the shape of the holes are different. Sometimes a really big hole so a lot of slime gets through and sometimes only a little bit of slime gets through. And then when you grate that slime, the residue that comes out, the slime that gets out of it is the bits of you that are still within your mask. But the mask is the cheese grater. You know what I'm saying? There's always gonna be parts of you. It just depends on each context, how much comes out of you. But it all is still you. Oh, so wait, so wait.  And he gets you too. Would that be like knowing the true self? Is that what it means to be gay? To have a soulmate? Yeah, something like that.   I would just like to say that YouTuber, Monkey Jones, has definitely never worn a mask. That's A. Never ever. I mean, he's taken it off so far. But it's like so long ago that the pain doesn't even really get to him anymore. No. Yeah, it's not even painful at all. Pain without love. Pain can't get enough. Pain. Exactly. But I like it rough. And I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all. You know, it's interesting that... I wrote that. That's my excuse. You're right. That's, I don't know, that self-censorship kind of thing. It's not really self-censorship, I guess. It's just the stuff. Like the fact that I'm not saying all kinds of like racial expletives, you know, I could if I wanted to. Nega. I could say, yeah, there you go. There you go.  We get it. It's fine. That's a whole lot of it. Me. Charlottesville. Charlottesville. What's that? And Hillary's not actually there. It's just cardboard, don't worry. What? That's not true. I don't know what you mean. I'm here, folks. I just want to announce me and my betrothal to a big fairy tale fan, a creator of Minecraft, founder of every website in the world, especially neopets.com. Hillary Clinton is here, I love her. And here she is with a quick message to everyone. Hello, everyone, my name is Hillary Clinton. Is that Jeff Booth? I love you. Yeah, all right, that's it. She's gone, she's gone. I'm not 50 points ahead, I don't get it. Dude, did you guys hear that she just came out with a book and audio book narrated by herself called What Happened? And it's about the election. I do actually want to read that. Was that, is there a question mark at the end of that title? Is she asking the question, what happened? Is it saying, oh, is it a declaration or a question? We'll have to look into that. Hillary doesn't have questions, only answers. I have to assume that she's acknowledging all of the reasons why she lost because a lot of it was on her back. I mean, if she's just blaming Trump the whole time, then that's not an honest answer.  What's that? Yeah, I mean, honestly, I think there's no way that this person will not, like, she's definitely gonna dive into all the excuses, the word, like, what's her goal? It's her goal to be like, you know what, it's time to do some self-discovery, you know what? It's time to look inside. That's what I would hope for. That's what I'd hope for, but I hope that the book, like chapter one should be called I'm Unlikable, but it's gonna be called Patriarchy.  In my head, for some reason, it is a bright pink with fluffy pink fluff on the outside, and a little pen, and it's just a diary, but with Hillary's face on every page. And you can write it.  It's in the Diary of the Wimpy Kid format, but with Hillary instead of fuckin' Greg. Yeah. Dude, that should be your next thing, monkey. Yeah, I'll do a Diary of a Losing Candidate.  How was she not supposed to get like it? You know? She was just overwhelming. Yeah, yeah. I believe I tried to vote for Jill Stein and failed in doing so, and so I believe that was my attempt. Should we move on to questions, folks? Let's do it. Let's do it. Yeah. That was a fun aside. Oh, it's Jeb Bush. If anyone doesn't further comments, feel free to. It's Jeb Bush, the guy I was thinking of, I was thinking Jeff Thu every time. Every time. Every time. They're the same. It's the same person. But his name is Jeb Bush. But his name is not the son of Jeb, I thought they were like completely different. Oh, no. So, someone should make like the chart where it's all fuckin' yellow, and Jeb is like doing a power pose, once I have that with Jeff, and the PCP subscribers, or something like that. That's a good idea. Okay. Oh, I love Jeff. Just note here, tell me all of your secrets, guys, and come PM me, tell me how many people you've touched in such a way. As Jeb touched the nation during the 2016 election. Yeah. Good idea. Okay, let's see. I'm going to Twitter to get some questions, and we've also got some, I think. I shall get some from the data. Wait, wait, before I do questions, I have a secret. One time, I touched a girl's hand, and I was like, no! I touched it, and it prolonged exposure. No! Did you ask permission first? Because I'm afraid I've got some boys in blue who are going to need a report to your domicile. She grabbed my hand, she was a, she was a, She raped you then, she didn't ask for consent. All right, well. I, I, she's in jail now, don't worry about it. Okay, oh, okay, just as has been said. That monster is locked up. That woman's name was Hillary Clinton, that's why she wasn't available for, yeah, uh-huh, mm-hmm. It was all my fault. It's my, it's my fault, Trump won. Yeah, exactly. Well done. Mo, Mozilla Fiddick can ask, what is the most powerful bug in all caps? Sizer, scissor, whatever you want to call it. A beetle, possibly, maybe, um. Scissor could just vour a pincer. Oh, oh, gosh. He would just use aerial ace and win. Exactly. Recently, I was in France, and in France, they have hornets. There was these hornets, and they, yeah, but it's, it's weird. They're sort of like bigger wasps with long thick thighs, right, that just dangle down next to them, but they're so stupid, they just hit walls and can't stand on anything.  They're actually adorable. I love, I love hornets. What I would say to a scary hornet is like, dude, B-drill isn't even competitive.  You don't have any good moves. He has like one speed. Have you seen Mega B-drill though? He's like the coolest motherfucker in all of them. He looks retarded, Mega's are bad, Mega's are bad, all of them are horrible. B-drill is Gurren Lagoon. Oh, Jesus Christ. The closest to Gurren Lagoon is without a doubt, scissor.  Okay, well whatever. Uh, here we go, question. I got one at Jade Murrow, our old friend. What are y'all's opinion on love songs? Gay. Love songs, what a good one. My favorite one is the George Harrison something. Something in the way she moves. That's a good love song. The rest are bad. The rest are bad.  Not only is that song great, I believe it was- Charlie Ray Jebson with Call Me Maybe, great love song. Some world famous- I actually do like that song.  Oh no, I love song, I love songs, that is. Wake me up, when September ends. That's the guy from Green Day wrote that because his dad, I was really hot in the year before. Yeah, that's not a love song. It's like about some guy who died. No, it's about his dad. It's about daddy. Wake me up inside. Wake me up, can't wake up inside, oh Jesus. Wake me up, when pedophilia is legal. And also incest, I love my dad. He's a question, he's a question. He never thought of the song. It was, I was just gonna, I can't think of a good song, but it was, I was gonna say about Gibbs. Some famous love song singer said that George Harrison song, something of the way she moves, was the best love song ever written. Oh, Frank Sinatra, I think it was Frank Sinatra. What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Reg's girlfriend in the PCP patient lounge asks, how do you be productive?  Jesus Christ. Yeah, you gotta remove obstacles from your life that Olympia would be doing. I have a video watched by me about Van Harmon, who was talking about this very thing. How do you be productive? How do you, he said that the whole idea of like having deadlines and forcing yourself to do it is okay, it gets the job done, but it's not good for growing yourself at being able to do stuff.  Dan Harmon has followed that. I like Dan Harmon. He explains a few episodes of the latest season of Rick and Morty. Oh, I don't know what he's doing. Jesus, burn. Okay, here's a question. At the Vajita asks. Hey, that's a jest joke, he stole that. That's true, there's underscores here. What part of your everyday routine is the worst? What part of your routine routine is the worst? Without a doubt, it's waking up.  Waking up inside. At the means, man.  I said literally 10 alarms for myself every morning because I cannot answer without it. I mean, I know you have a job so you have to but I would advise against alarms because I've never, I've got rid of alarms and I've learned to just wake up at the right time is way better. I feel so much better. I wish I could do that. I can't trust myself though. If I could like guarantee that I went to bed by a certain time, I'd try that but yeah. I'm just abusing my body every day that I like forcing it to go away by an alarm. It's not good for you, it's not good. It's the most terrible way to begin getting up is to get shook from my job. Shaken up by a loud noise.  Let's hit that $5,000 per month market.  I, yeah, I'm hurting myself. Alarms are cool. I will wake up at any time I want, it'll be great. Alarms are cool because then you can set your own custom alarm clock sound and then you can like go to your friend at the bar and you can be like, what's your alarm sound? And you just say, my dad screaming at me? Ha ha ha ha, look at my scars. Also alarms make you hate whatever the alarm is. I have PTSD for the default alarm sound from my phone.   Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna die just thinking about it.  Hippo, that's what it's like for me, but even worse because my alarm clock sound is a song from Homestuck. So whenever I'm listening to this biography, I just get that sound and I just fucking. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, so you're making a big mistake. You never put a song you actually like as your alarm sound, you can't do it. It's not legal. Can't be done. Well, you know, it's all about cause and effect and duality and union and new age beliefs. Right, you know, I used to do that. I used to use anime songs as my alarm clocks, but then I start to dislike anime and I'm like, I can't go down this road. I can't, this is too much of a risk. I love anime, I'll die. I'll lose all identity if I keep this up. Malady from the PCP Patreon line asked, would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death? You have to pick one.  I would, that's true. I would much rather know the cause than the date. I do not want to know the date. That fucks you up in all kinds of ways. Yeah, cause could happen anytime. If I know the cause, I can train and be ready. Yeah, yeah. Well, to die. Assuming that it's always true. Ready to die. I've been ready to die for years. I don't know what you're talking about.  And then it's obviously because a train crashes into you. Like, you can't avoid it, but if you do any planning, it's gonna be in vain. Any planning at all, the date wouldn't be too bad. Cause like, yeah, you'd just be like scared of knives for the rest of your life or whatever. But if I know the date, I know like, okay, well I have 80 years now to get all these projects done, I guess I better start doing them.  You know, that's a tight schedule.  Yeah, yeah, that's true.  So at least I can spend those five years being productive rather than being scared of trains or whatever it was. Maybe I would go with time.  So we already know there's like a rough date when none of us are gonna be alive. Oh, you don't know about that. You should speak for yourself. You should speak for yourself. Yeah, yeah, I will say. All of us are planning to be alive. I'm gonna download myself to the vapor net. I'm gonna build a copy of your cell phone account. I agree, actually. I actually agree. I'm gonna build a robot, and the robot is gonna be a good robot. I'm gonna put my camera away. I don't think that consciousness is real. And I think we're basically seeing like individual frames strung together like a film that's constantly playing. So it gives us the illusion of a sense of self and a sense of like continuity to our consciousness that is in fact moment to moment.  Can we go to the next question? Wait, wait, wait, wait.   Dude, dude, I have a tangent. Anti-implelectual. Tangentially related to what you were saying. Cause I was just thinking, I was thinking earlier in the week about like robots being like the literal, the next evolution of humans. Not humans with robotic parts, but like literal just robots. We make them and they live much longer than we can. So they're literally our children.  But they're not going to be like us preserved. They're just gonna be new people. Yeah, they're just gonna be gatherers. So I wanna build a robot daughter and I'm gonna call her risk and she's gonna be unbeatable. She's gonna live forever in the universe and it's gonna be like, yeah, you know. I mean, you should do an episode on transhumanism. That's a great idea. It's a great idea. Can there be robot pedophilia? Okay, it depends what you mean. You gotta define your terms. Cause like, can a man look at a baby looking robot with lust in his heart and be called a pedophile? I say yes.  I say no. So that's, you know.   Exactly. If you got a robot, you could just turn that crank to make the hole whatever size you want. You know what I mean? Doesn't even matter. I've imagined like an old steampunk like a big old crank. You gotta like cranking over the vagina.  Finally! That makes sense. That makes sense. By the way, what's the name of that? What's the name of that ship? Okay, well, okay. That's about it. That's iconic. The friend of that ship. There's a name, Sisyphus. No, that's not it. Okay, so like if you take a ship and it's out sailing and it gets damaged and you repair a piece and you keep doing that as you keep going and eventually every single piece has been replaced by something. So it is in fact no longer. And you may as well have. Well, okay. So it's like, it's still called like the same thing as it was. There's a name for this, but I forget what it is. It's Sisyphus. It's not, Sisyphus is like the hill that the guy puts the rock up. That's the Sisyphian thing or whatever. It's got some other name that I can't remember. But the point I'm getting at is like, it is theoretically possible that a human being can in fact just become a robot in a sense.  And then you, okay, you live like that for a while. Or ready, you're dead. And why, so, well, that's the question. Like at what point do you become a robot? And if there is no clear point where it happens. I think you could maybe replace every single piece and just then be a robot. So you know what, you know what I'm gonna do?  Yeah.  Whoa, real? That's just, it doesn't happen anymore. Sign me up. And my future robot self will have so much fun. Oh, you'll have such hilarity in his future. Oh Christ. Okay. I'm so goodies, I like to think really hard. That's what you sound like me. Oh my God. Yeah, I don't know if we're doing the PCP or day two of Philosophy 101 at my community college. Yeah, who knows, man? I don't know, that was related to something in some way, I think, okay. No, it wasn't, let's move on. Yes, okay, here's one.   That's what I would do.  Yeah, of course I did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great, it was great. Okay, so I pissed on his house? Yeah, you know. That's awesome.  Yeah, you know.  Victor is here. Yeah, I love Vincent, he's my favorite Digi Bros character. It's okay, monkey, he had an umbrella. Oh, thank goodness. I don't know how you got taller than Victor, but good job. He just has a very powerful stream. It can arc quite high, you know. That's his secret power, that's his cutie mark.   Where did they hold this competition? That's what I would call it. Make no hells.  Oh, look it up. All right, there's no more good questions on the Twitter. Wait, wait, here's an incredible question.  Well, Jesus Christ, why don't you just go give us a Patreon dollar or two, and you can get into a Discord chat. He's right, folks, go to patreon.com slash the procrastinators, give it dollar, and you'll be in the patron exclusive chat club where all of us actually go and hang out and talk. We actually hang out there, and it's not, we're not just in there just to hang out. It's a good place. We keep up the rabble. We keep up the poor folks. Yes, we keep out the sheep, the weak-minded people. We can't sell out a dollar. Sheepover is a good person. Sheepover is a good person because she's in that fan chat, I think, or maybe she's not. No, no, she's not. She's a bad person. She's bad, like all the other sheep. She's worthless in every way. Yeah, okay, and you can also get yourself some shirts from the links in the description. Go buy PCP merch, people. And also, don't forget, the $5 patrons get the exclusive monthly bonus PCP episode. Whoa! We're about to record it later today. We're about to record. Which we spoiler what it is. Death Note versus Death Note. Thank you. Yes, that's what it is, guys. That's, it's Death Note v. Death Note. It's the clash of the Titans. Who could possibly come out on top of these intellectual juggernauts? Go ahead. Nobody has ever made a video comparing the new movie to the anime. We're the first ones to do it, and if you wanna hear how it goes, go putz that $5, baby! That's what you gotta do, folks. Just to wet your whistle audience, I have listened to, I may have downloaded the wrong file. I may have tormented the wrong file to listen to this movie. And it may be in a foreign language that I do not understand without subtitles. So if you wanna see me try and piece together the plot from just looking at people's mouths move, then head on over there. There you go, folks. You can't miss it, people. It's gonna be an event of the summer. All right, we're done. Thanks for listening, everybody.  And go listen to the Tom and Monkey Suicide Purge. Best podcast ever made! That's right. That's right. Too hot for YouTube monetization, everybody. Yep, that's right. Was it actually demonetized? Yeah, it's not fit. It got demonetized. Yes!  That's how you know we're legit.  That's true, that's true. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We will see you next time. Everybody say goodbye. Bye!  Buy our products, buy our shirts, buy our merch. Jesus, yeah, yeah. It's supposed to be worth it.