Letters 12 to 14 of the SILF. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Recorded by Céline Mejour. The SILF by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. Letter 12. To Miss Grenville. Louisa, my dearest girl. Who do you think I have met with? No other than Lady Melford. I saw her this day in the drawing room. I instantly recognized her ladyship and catching her eye made my obeisance to her. She returned my salute in a manner which seemed to say, I don't know you but I wish to recollect you. As often as I looked up I found I engaged her attention. When their majesties were withdrawn I was sitting in one of the windows with Lady Anne Parker and some other folks about me. I then saw Lady Melford moving towards me. I rose and pressed her to take my place. You are very obliging, said she. I will if you please accept part of it as I wish informed to it is that is so polite as to pay such civility to an old woman. Lady Anne, finding we were entering on conversation wished me a good day and went off. I am perfectly well acquainted with your features, said her ladyship. But I cannot call to my memory what is your name. Have you then quite forgot Julia Grenville to whom you were so kind when she was on a visit with your grandfather at L? Julia Grenville, I so it is. But my dear, how came I to meet you in the drawing room at St. James whom I thought still an inmate of the mountains?  My father, I replied, is still in his favorite retreat. My sister resides with him. I have been in town some time and am at present an inhabitant of it. To whose protection could your father confide you, my dear? To the best protector in the world, madam, I answered smiling to an husband. A husband? She repeated quite astonished. What, child, are you married? And who, my dear, is this husband that your father could part with you, too? That gentleman in the blue and silver velvet across the room, Sir William Stanley, does your ladyship know him? By name and character only, she answered, you are very young, my dear, to be thus initiated in the world. Has Sir William any relations? Female ones, I mean, who are fit companions for you? This is a dangerous place for young inexperienced girls to be left to their own guidance. I mentioned the ladies to whom I had been introduced. I don't know them, said Lady Milford. No doubt they are women of character as they are the friends of your husband. I am, however, glad to see you and hope you are happily married. My meeting you here is owing to having attended a lady who was introduced. I came to town from D for that purpose. I asked her ladyship if she would permit me to wait on her while she remained in town. She obligingly said she took it very kind in a young person showing so much attention to her and should always be glad of my company. The Council of Lady Milford may be of service to me. I am extremely happy to have seen her. I remember with pleasure the month I passed at L. I reproach myself for not writing to Jenny Milford. I doubt she thinks me ungrateful or that the busy scenes in which I am immersed have obliterated all former fond remembrances. I will soon convince her that the gay insignificant crowd cannot wear away the impression which her kindness stamped on my heart in early childhood. Your letter is just brought to my hands. Yes, my dear Louisa, I have not a doubt but that while I deserve it I shall be the immediate care of heaven. Join your prayers to mine, and they will when offered with heartfelt sincerity be heard. I have nothing to apprehend from Lady Bessford. Such kind of women can never seduce me. She shoes herself too openly, and the discovery of her character gives me no other concern than as it too evidently manifests in my eyes the extreme carelessness of Sir William. I own there I am in some degree peaked. But if he is indifferent about my morals and well-doing in life it will more absolutely become my business to take care of myself. An arduous task for a young girl surrounded with so many incitements to quit the straight paths, and so many examples of those that do. As to the economy of my family, I fear it is but badly managed. However, I do not know how to interfere as we have a housekeeper who is empowered to give all orders, etc. If Wynn is desirous of returning, I shall not exert my voice to oppose her inclinations. Though I own, I shall be very sorry to lose the only domestic in my family in whom I can place the least confidence, or who is attached to me from any other motive than interest. I will never, notwithstanding my repugnance to her leaving me, offer any objections which may influence her conduct. But I do not think with you her morals will be in any danger, as she in general keeps either in my apartments or in the housekeepers. I do not know how Griffith manages. I should be concerned that he should be ill-used by the rest of the servants. His dialect, and to them singular manners, may excite their boisterous mirth. And I know, though he is a worthy creature, yet he has all the harassability of his countrymen, and therefore they may take a pleasure in thwarting and teasing the poor Cambro-Britain. But of this I am not likely to be informed as being so wholly out of my sphere. I could hardly help smiling at that part of your letter wherein you say you think the husband the proper person to attend his wife to public places. How different are your ideas from those of the people of this town, or at least to their practice? A woman who would not blush at being convicted in a little affair of gallantry would be ready to sink with confusion should she receive these tendre from a husband in public, which when offered by any other man is accepted with pleasure and complacency. Sir William never goes with me to any of these fashionable movements. It is true we often meet, but very seldom join, as we are in general in separate parties. Whom God hath joined to let no man put asunder is a part of the ceremony. But here it is the business of everyone to endeavor to put a man and wife asunder, fashion not making it decent to appear together. These etiquettes, though so absolutely necessary in polite life, are by no means reconcilable to reason or to my wishes. But my voice would be too weak to be heard against the general cry, or, being heard, I should be thought too insignificant to be attended to. Conscience makes cowards of us all, some poet says, and your Julia says fashion makes fools of us all, but she only whispers this to the dear bosom of her friend. Oh, my Louisa, that you were with me. It is with this wish I end all my letters. Mentally so, if I do not openly thus express myself. Absence seems to increase my affection. One reason is, because I cannot find anyone to supply me the loss I sustain in you. Out of the hundreds I visit, not one with whom I can form a friendly attachment. My attachment to Sir William, which was strong enough to tear me from your arms, is not sufficient to suppress the gushing tear, or hush, the rising sigh, when I sit and reflect on what I once possessed and what I so much want at this moment. Adieu, my dear Louisa, continue your tender attention to the best of fathers, and love me always. Julia Stanley. Letter 13 To the same. I spent a whole morning with Lady Melford more to my satisfaction than any one I have passed since I left you. But this treat cannot be repeated. Her ladyship leaves town this day. She was so good as to say she was sorry her stay was so short and wished to have had more time with me. I can truly join with her. Her conversation was friendly and parental. She cautioned me against falling into the levities of the sex, which unhappily she observed were now become so prevalent, and further told me how cautious I ought to be of my female acquaintance since the reputation of a young woman rises and falls in proportion to the merit of her associates. I judged she had Lady Bessford in her mind. I answered I thought myself unhappy in not having you with me, and likewise possessing so little penetration that I could not discover who were or who were not proper companions. That relying on the experience of Sir William, I had left the choice of them to him, trusting he would not introduce those whose characters and morals were reprehensible. But whether it proceeded from my ignorance or from the mode of the times, I could not admire the sentiments of either of the ladies with whom I was more intimately connected but wished to have the opinion of one whose judgment was more matured than mine. Lady Melford replied the circle of her acquaintance was rather confined, and that her short residences at a time in town left her an incompetent judge. But, my dear, she added, the virtuous principles instilled into you by your excellent father, joined to the innate goodness of your heart, must guide you through the warfare of life. Never for one moment listen to the seductive voice of folly, whether its advocate be man or a woman. If a man is profuse in flattery, believe him an insidious betrayer who only watches a favorable moment to ruin your peace of mind forever. Suffer no one to lessen your husband and your esteem. No one will attempt it but from sinister views. Disappoint all such either by grave remonstrances or lively sallies. Perhaps some will officially bring you informations of the supposed infidelity of your husband in hopes they may induce you to take a fashionable revenge. Labor to convince such how you detest all informers. Speak of your confidence in him. And that nothing shall persuade you but that he acts as he ought. But since the heart of man naturally loves variety and from the depravity of the age indulgences which I call criminal are allowed to them, Sir William may not pay that strict obedience to his part of the marriage contract as he ought. Remember, my dear, his conduct can never exculpate any breach in yours.  By such behavior I doubt not you will be happy as you will deserve to be so. Ah, my dear Louisa, what a loss shall I have in this venerable monitress. I will treasure up her excellent advice and hope to reap the benefit of it. If I dislike Lady Besford, I think I have more reason to be displeased with Lady Anne Parker. She has more artifice and is consequently a more dangerous companion. She has more than once given hints of the freedoms which Sir William allows in himself. The other night at the opera she pointed out one of the dancers and assured me, Sir William was much envied for having subdued the virtue of that girl. That, she continued, was her vis-à-vis that you admired this morning. She lives in great taste. I suppose her allowance is superb. It is quite the tone to keep opera girls, though perhaps the men who support them never pay them a visit. I therefore concluded this affair was one of that sort. Such creatures can never deprive me of my husband's heart and I should be very weak to be uneasy about such connections. Last night, however, a circumstance happened which I own touched my heart more sensibly. Lady Anne insisted on my accompanying her to the opera. Sir William dined out, and as our party was sudden, knew not of my intention of being there. Towards the end of the opera I observed my husband in one of the upper boxes with a very elegant-looking woman dressed in the gentilist taste to whom he appeared very assiduous. There is Sir William, said I. Yes, said Lady Anne, but I dare say he did not expect to see you here. Possibly not, I answered. A little female curiosity urged me to ask if she knew who that lady was. She smiled and answered. She believed she did. A very favorite air being then singing I dropped the conversation, though I could not help now and then stealing a look at my husband. I was convinced he must see and know me as my situation in the house was very conspicuous, but I thought he seemed industriously to avoid meeting my eyes. The opera being ended we adjourned to the coffee room, and having missed Sir William a little time before, naturally expected to see him there as it is customary for all the company to assemble there previous to their going to their carriages. A great number of people soon joined us. Berenton Housen had just handed me a glass of borschat and was chatting in an agreeable manner when Lord Bidolf came up. Lady Stanley, said he with an air of surprise. I thought I saw you this moment in Sir William's chariot. I little expected the happiness of meeting you here. You saw Sir William, my lord, I believe, said Lady Anne, but as to the lady you are mistaken, though I should have supposed you might have recognized your old friend Lucy Gardner. They were together in one of the boxes. Sly wretch, he thought we did not see him.  I would like to remind his lordship that we poor men and especially the married ones ought to be careful how we conduct ourselves. But my dear Lady Stanley, how have you been entertained? Was not Rothzene exquisite? Can you ask how her ladyship has been amused when you have just informed her her cat Ospozo was seen with a favorite sultana? Pshaw, said his lordship, there is nothing in that to la mode de François. The conduct of her husband cannot discompose a lady of sense. What says the lovely Lady Stanley? I answer, I replied very seriously, Sir William has an undoubted right to act as he pleases. I never have or ever intend to prescribe rules to him, sufficient, I think, to conduct self. Bravo, cried Lord Bidolf, spoke like a heroine, and I hope my dear Lady Stanley will act as she pleases too. I do when I can, I answered. Then turning to Lady Anne, not to break in on your amusement, I continued, will you give me leave to wait on you to Brookstreet? You know you have promised to sup with me. Most cheerfully, said she, but will you not ask the beau to attend us? Lord Bidolf said he was most unfortunately engaged to Lady D. Blank's route. The Baron refused as if he wished to be entreated. Lady Anne would take no denial, and when I assured him his company would give me pleasure he consented. I was handed to the coach by his lordship who took that opportunity of condemning Sir William's want of taste, and lavishing the utmost in coniums on your Julia, with whom they passed as nothing. If Sir William is unfaithful, Lord Bidolf is not the man to reconcile me to the sex. I feel his motives in two glaring colors. No, the soft timidity of Tonhausen, which, while it indicates the profoundest respect, still betrays the utmost tenderness. He it is alone who could restore the character of mankind and raise it again in my estimation. But what have I said? Dear Louisa, I blushed having discovered to you that I am, past all doubt, the object of the Baron's tender sentiments. Ah, can I mistake those glances, which modest reserve and deference urge him to correct? Yet fear me not. I am married. My vows are registered in the Book of Heaven, and as by their irreversible decree I am bound to honor and obey my husband, so will I strive to love him and him alone, though I have long since ceased to be the object of his. Of what consequence, however, is that? I am indissolubly united to him. He was the man of my choice, to say he was the first man I almost ever saw, and to plead my youth and inexperience. Oh, what does that avail? Nor does his neglect justify the least on my part. For man the lawless libertine may rove. But this is a strange digression. The Baron accompanied us to supper. During our repast, Lady Anne made a thousand sallies to divert us. My mind, however, seemed that night infected by the demon of despair. I could not be cheerful, and yet I am sure I was not jealous of this Lucy Gardner. Melancholy was contagious. Taunhausen caught it. I observed him sometimes even suppressed sigh. Lady Anne was determined to dissipate the gloom which enveloped us, and began drawing, with her satirical pen, the characters of her acquaintance. Baron, said she, did you not observe Lord P. Blank with his round unthinking face, how assiduous he was to Miss W. Blank, complimenting her on the brilliancy of her complexion, though he knows she wore more rouge than almost any woman of quality, extolling her forest of hair, when most likely he saw it this morning brought in a band box, and celebrating the pearly whiteness of her teeth when he was present at their transplanting. But he is not a slave to propriety or even common sense. No dear creature, he has a soul above it. But did you not take notice of Lady L. Blank, how she augurled Captain F. when her booby lord turned his head aside?  The most glaring proofs will not convince him of his wife's infidelity. Captain F. said he to me yesterday at court, Captain F. I assure you Lady Anne is a great favorite with me. It is a family partiality, said I. Lady L. seems to have no aversion to him. Ah, there you mistake, fair lady. I want my lady to have the same affection for him I have. He has done all he can to please her, and yet she does not seem satisfied with him. Unconscionable cried I. Why, then, she is never to be satisfied. Why, so I say. But it proceeds from the violence of her attachment to me. Oh, Lady Anne, she is the most virtuous and discreetest lady. I should be the happiest man in the world if she would but shoo a little more consideration to my friend. I think it a pity he does not know his happiness, as I have not the least doubt of F. and her ladyship having a pretty good understanding together. Thus was the thoughtless creature running on unheeded by either of us when her harangue was interrupted by an alarming accident happening to me. I had sat some time leaning my head on my hand, though God knows, paying very little attention to Lady Anne's sketches, when some of the superfluous ornaments of my headdress coming rather too near the candle caught fire, and the whole farrego of ribbons, lace, and gougas were instantly in flames. I shrieked out in the utmost error and should have been a very great sufferer, perhaps been burnt to death, had not the Baron had the presence of mind to roll my head, flames and all, up in my shawl, which fortunately hung on the back of my chair, and by such precaution preserved that capital.  My fright, however, proved more than the damage sustained. When the flames were extinguished, I thought Lady Anne would have expired with mirth, owing to the disastrous figure I made with my singed feathers, etc. The whimsical distress of the heroin of the election ball presented itself to her imagination, and the pale face of the affrighted Baron during the conflagration heightened the picture.  Excuse me, dear Don Housen, the danger is over now. I must indulge my risible faculties. I will most readily join with your ladyship," answered the Baron, as my joy is in proportion to what were my apprehensions. But I must condemn a fashion which is so injurious to the safety of the ladies. The accident, however, disconcerted me not a little and made me quite unfit for company. They saw the chagrin painted on my features and soon took leave of me. I retired to my dressing-room and sent for wind to inspect the almost-ruinated fabric, but such is the construction nowadays that a head might burn for an hour without damaging the genuine part of it. A lucky circumstance. I sustained but little damage. In short, nothing which Monsieur Carras could not remedy in a few hours. My company staying late in this event besides retarded my retiring to rest till near three in the morning. I had not left my dressing-room when Sir William entered. Good God! Not gone to bed yet, Julia. I hope you did not sit up for me. You know that as a piece of ceremony I would choose to dispense with, as it always carries a tacit reproach under an appearance of tender solicitude. I fancied I saw in his countenance a consciousness that he deserved reproach and a determination to begin first to find fault. I was vexed and answered, you might have waited for the reproach at least before you prejudged my conduct, nor can you have any apprehensions that I should make such, having never taken that liberty. Neither do you do me justice in supposing me capable of the meanness you insinuate on finding me up at this late hour. That circumstance is owing to an accident by which I might have been a great sufferer, and which, though you so unkindly accuse me of being improperly prying and curious, I will, if you permit me, relate to you in order to justify myself. He certainly expected I should ask some questions which would be disagreeable to him, and therefore finding me totally silent on that head, his features became more relaxed. He inquired, with some tenderness, what alarming accident I hinted at. I informed him of every circumstance. My account put him into good humor, and we laughed over the drawl scene very heartily. Observing, however, I was quite disebye. My dear girl! cried he, throwing his arm round me. I doubt you will catch cold, not withstanding you so lately represented a burning mountain. Come, continued he, will you go to bed? While he spoke he pressed me to his bosom, and expressed in his voice and manner more warmth of affection than he had discovered since I forsook the mountains. He kissed me several times with rapture, and his eyes dwelt on me with an ardour I have long been unused to behold. The adventure at the opera returned to my imagination. These caresses thought I have been bestowed on one whose prostituted charms are more admired than mine. I sighed. Why do you sigh, Julia? asked my husband. I know not, I answered. I ought not to sigh in the very moment I am receiving proofs of your affection. But I have not lately received such proofs, and therefore perhaps I sighed.  Foolish to fancy I do not love you, and a good girl, not to ask impertinent questions. That is, your tongue is silent, but you have wicked eyes, Julia, that seek to look into my inmost thoughts. Then I will shut them, said I, affecting to laugh, but added in a more serious tone. I will see no further than you would wish me. To please you I will be blind, insensible and blind. But as you are not deaf, I will tell you what you well know, that I was at the opera, and with a lady, too. Do not, however, be jealous, my dear. The woman I was with was perfectly indifferent to me. I met her by accident, but I had a mind to see what effect such a piece of flirtation would have on you. I am not displeased with your behavior, nor would I have you so with mine. I will in all my best obey you, said I. Then go to bed, said he. To bed my love, and I will follow thee. You will not scruple to pronounce this a reasonable long letter, my dear Louisa, for a modern fine lady. Ah, shield me from that character. Would to heaven Sir William was no more of the modern fine gentleman in his heart. I could be happy with him. Yes, Louisa, was I indeed the object of his affections, not merely so of his fashions which I fear I am, I could indeed be happy with him. My person still invites his caresses, but for the softer sentiments of the soul, that ineffable tenderness which depends not on the tincture of the skin. Of that, alas, he has no idea. Of a love-tuary in love he professes not that delicacy which refines all its joys. His is all passion. Sentiment is left out of the catalogue. Adieu, Julia Stanley. Letter 14. To the same. I hope my dearest Louisa will not be too much alarmed at a whole fortnight's silence. Ah, Louisa, the event which occasioned it may be productive of very fatal consequences to me. Yet I will not despair. No, I will trust in a good God and the virtuous education I have had. They will arm me to subdue inclinations irreversible fate has rendered improper. But to the point. Two or three nights after I wrote my last I went to the play. Lady Anne, Colonel Montague and a Miss Finch were the party. Happily the after-piece represented was one obtruded on the public by an author obnoxious to some of them and there were two parties formed, one to condemn the other to support. Wholly unacquainted with a thing of this kind I soon began to be alarmed at the clamour which rang from every part of the house. The glass chandeliers first fell a victim to a hot-headed wretch in the pit and part of the shattered fragments was thrown into my lap. My fears increased to the highest degree. Men seemed to interest themselves about me. Colonel Montague, being an admirer of Miss Finch, his attention was paid to her. The ladies were ordered out of the house. I was ready enough to obey the summons and was rushing out when my passage was stopped by a concourse of people in the lobby. The women screaming, men swearing, all together I thought I should die with terror.  I cried with uplifted hands. One regarded me. And I might have stood screaming in concert with the rest till this time had not the Baron most seasonably come to my assistance. He broke through the crowd with incredible force and flew to me.  I will guard you to your carriage. Others were equally anxious about their company and everyone striving to get out first increased the difficulty. Many ladies fainted in the passages which being closed became almost suffocating. Every moment our difficulties and my fears increased. I became almost insensible. The Baron most kindly supported me with one arm and with the other strove to make way. The men even pushed with rudeness by me. Tonhausen expostulated and raved by turns. At length he drew his sword which terrified me to such a degree as sinking to the earth and really gave myself up totally to despair. The efforts he made at last gained us a passage to the Great Door and without waiting to ask any questions he put me into a coach that happened to be near as to my carriage it was not to be found or probably some others had used the same freedom with that we had now with one unknown to us. As soon as we were seated Tonhausen expressed his joy in the strongest terms that we had really escaped any danger. I was so weak that he thought it necessary to support me in his arms and though I had no cause to complain of any freedom in his manner yet the warmth of his expression joined to my foregoing fright had such an effect on me that though I did not wholly lose my senses I thought I was dying. I never fainted in my life before. To my ignorance then must be imputed my fears and foolish behavior in consequence. Do you see me somewhere? cried I gasping. Do not let me die here. For God's sake do not let me die in the coach. My angel said the Baron do not give way to such imaginary terrors. I will let down the glasses. You will be better presently. But finding my head which I could no longer support drop on his shoulder and a cold damp do my face he gave a loose to his tenderness which viewed itself the tension to my welfare he pressed me almost frantic to his bosom called on me in the most endearing terms he thought me insensible he knew not I could hear the effusions of his heart oh Louisa you could have no idea how they sunk in mine among the rest these broken sentences were distinct oh my God what will become of me dearest most loved of women how is my heart distracted and shall I lose thee thus oh how shall I support thy loss too late found ever beloved of my soul thy Henry will die with thee picture to yourself my Louisa what were my sensations at this time I have no words to express them or if I could they would be unfit for me to express the sensations themselves ought not to have found a passage in my bosom I will drive them away Louisa I will not give them harbor I no longer knew what was become of me I became dead to all appearance the Baron in a state of distraction called to the coachman to stop anywhere where I could receive assistance fortunately we were nearer chemists Taunhausen carried me in his arms to a back room and by the application of drops etc I was restored to life I found the Baron kneeling at my feet and supporting me it was a long time before he could make me sensible where I was my situation in a strange place and the singularity of our appearance affected me extremely I burst into tears and entreated the Baron to get me a chair to convey me home a chair? Lady Stanley will not you then permit me to attend you home would you place yourself under the protection of two strangers rather than allow me that honour ah excuse me Baron I answered I hardly know what I said do as you please only let me go home and yet Louisa I felt a dread on going into the same carriage with him I thought myself extremely absurd and foolish yet I could not get the better of my apprehensions how vain they were never could any man behave with more delicate attention or more void of that kind of behaviour which might have justified my fears his despair had prompted the discovery of his sentiments he thought me incapable of hearing the secret of his soul and it was absurd to a degree for me by an unnecessary circumspection to let him see I had unhappily been a participator of his secret there was however an awkward in my conduct towards him I could not divest myself up I wished to be at home I even expressed my impatience to be alone he sighed but made no remonstrances against my childish behaviour though his pensive manner made it obvious he saw and felt it thank God at last we got home it would be rude said he after your ladieship has so frequently expressed your wish to be alone to obtrude any a moment longer than absolutely necessary but if you will allow me to remain in your drawing room till I hear you are a little recovered I shall esteem it a favour I have not a doubt of being much better I returned when I've had a little rest I am extremely indebted to you for the care you have taken I must repay it by desiring you to have some consideration for yourself rest will be salutary for both and I hope to return you a message this morning that I am not at all the worse for this disagreeable adventure adieu Baron take my advice he bowed and cast on me such a look he seemed to correct himself oh that look what was not expressed in it away away all such remonstrances the consequences however were not to end here I soon found other circumstances which I had not thought on in short my dear Louisa I must now discover to you a secret which I had determined to keep some time longer at least not even Sir William knew of it I intended to have surprised you all but this vile playhouse affair put an end to my hopes and very near to my life for two days my situation was very critical as soon as the danger was over I recovered a pace the Baron was at my door several times in the day to inquire after me and Wynn said who once saw him that he betrayed more anxiety than anyone beside yesterday was the first of my seeing any company the Baron's name was the first announced the sound threw me into a perturbation I labored to conceal Sir William presented him to me I received his compliment with an awkward confusion my embarrassment was imputed by my husband to the simple bashfulness of a country rustic a bashfulness he generally renders more insupportable by the ridiculous light he chooses to make me appear in rather than encouraging me in a better opinion of myself which sometimes he does me the honour of saying I ought to entertain the Baron had taken my hand in the most respectful manner I suffered him to lift it to his lips is it thus, said Sir William you thank your deliverer had I been in your place Julia should have received my champion with open arms at least have allowed him a salute but the Baron is a modest young man come I will set you the example saying which he caught me in his arms and kissed me I was extremely chagrined and felt my cheeks glow not only with shame but with anger you are too violent Sir William said I very gravely you have excessively disconcerted me I will allow I might have been too eager now you shall experience the difference between the ecstatic ardour of an enduring husband and the cool complacency of a friend nay nay continued he seeing a dissenting look you must reward the Baron or I shall think you either very prudish or angry with me was there ever such an considerate behaviour Taunhausen seemed fearful of offending yet not willing to lose so fair an opportunity oh Louisa as Sir William said I did experience a difference but Sir William is no adoring husband the Baron's lips trembled as they touched mine and I felt an emotion to which I was hitherto a stranger I was doomed however to receive still more shocks on the Baron saying he was happy to see me so well recovered after my fright and hoped I had found no disagreeable consequence no disagreeable consequence repeated Sir William with the most unfeeling air is the loss of a son and heir then nothing it may be repaired he continued laughing to be sure but I am extremely disappointed are you not enraged with your brother in La Louisa how indelicate I really could no longer support these mortifications though I knew I should mortally offend him I could not help leaving the room in tears nor would I return to it till summoned by the arrival of other company I did not recover my spirits the whole evening good God how different do men appear sometimes from themselves I am often induced to ask myself whether I really gave my hand to the man I now see in my husband ah how is he changed I reflect for hours together on the unaccountableness of his conduct how he is carried away by the giddy multitude he is swayed by every passion and the last is the ruling one is everything by starts and nothing long a time may come when he may see his folly I hope before it be too late to repair it why should such a man marry or why did fate lead him to our innocent retreat oh why did I foolishly mistake a rambling disposition and a transient liking for a permanent attachment but why do I run on thus dear Louisa you will think me far gone in a frenzy but believe me I will ever deserve your tender affection Julia Stanley End of Letters 12 through 14 Letter 15 of the Sylph This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Devorah Allen The Sylph by Georgiana Cavendish Duchess of Devonshire Letter 15 to Lady Stanley Good heavens! What a variety of emotions has your last letter excited in my breast Surely my Julia did not give it a second perusal I can make allowance for the expressions of gratitude which you in a manner lavish not bestow on the baron but oh beware my beloved sister that your gratitude becomes not too warm that sentiment so laudable when properly placed should it be an introduction to what my fears and tenderness apprehend would change to the most impious you already perceive a visible difference between him and your husband I assert no woman ought to make a comparison Tis dangerous, tis fatal Sir William was the man of your choice it is true you were young but still you ought to respect your choice as sacred you are still young and although you may have seen more of the world I doubt your sentiments are little mended by your experience the knowledge of the world at least so it appears to me is of no further use than to bring one acquainted with vice and to be less shocked at the idea of it is this then a knowledge to which we should wish to attain ah, believe me it had been better for you to have blushed unseen and lost your sweetness in the desert air than to have in the busy haunts of men hazarded the privation of that peace which goodness bosoms ever think what I suffer and constrained to treasure up my anxious fears in my own bosom I have no one to whom I can vent my griefs and indeed to whom could I impart the terrors which fill my soul when I reflect on the dangers by which my sister the darling of my affections is surrounded oh Julia, you know how fatally I have experienced the interest a beloved object has in the breast of a tender woman how ought we then to guard against the admission of a passion destructive to our repose even in its most innocent and harmless state while we are single but how much more should you keep a strict watch over every outlet of the heart lest it should fall a prey to the insidious enemy you respect his silence you pity his sufferings reprobate respect abjure pity they are both in your circumstances dangerous and a well-experienced writer has observed more women have been ruined by pity than have fallen a sacrifice to appetite and passion pity is a kindred virtue and from the innocence and complacency of her appearance we suspect no ill but dangers inexplicable lurk beneath the tear that trembles in her eye and without even knowing that we do so we make a fatal transfer to our utter and inevitable disadvantage from having the power of bestowing compassion we become objects of it from others though too frequently instead of receiving it we find ourselves loaded with the censure of the world we look into our own bosoms for consolation alas, it is flown with our innocence and in its room we feel the sharpest stings of self-reproof my Julia, my tears obliterate each mournful passage of my pen Luisa Grenville End of letter 15 Letter 16 and 17 of the Sylph This is a LibriVox recording All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org Recorded by Céline Major The Sylph by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire Letter 16 To Miss Grenville Enough, my dearest sister enough have you suffered through your unremitted tenderness to your Julia yet believe her while she vows to the dear bosom of friendship no action of her shall call a blush on your cheek Good God, what a wretch should I be if I could abuse such sisterly love if after such friendly admonitions enforced with so much moving eloquence your Julia should degenerate from her birth and forget those lessons of virtue early inculcated by the best of fathers if after all these she should suffer herself to be immersed in the vortex of fallen vice what would she not deserve? Oh, rest assured my dearest dear Louisa be satisfied your sister cannot be so vile remember the same blood flows through our veins one parent's stock we sprang from nurtured by one hand listening at the same time to the same voice of reason learning the same pious lesson why then these apprehensions of my degeneracy trust me Louisa I will not deceive you and God grant I may never deceive myself the wisest of men has said the heart of man is deceitful above all things I however will strictly examine mine I will search into it narrowly at present the search is not painful I have nothing to reproach myself with I have I hope discharged my failure land fraternal duties my matrimonial ones are in violate I have studied the temper of Sir William in hopes I should discover a rule for my actions but how can I form a system from one so variable as he is would to heaven he was more uniform or that he would suffer himself to be guided by his own understanding and not by the whim or caprice of others so much inferior to himself all this I have repeated frequently to you together with my wish to leave London and the objects with which I am daily surrounded does such a wish look as if I was improperly attached to the world or any particular person in it you are too severe my love but when I reflect that your rigidity proceeds from your unrivaled attachment I kiss the rod of my chastisement I long to fold my dear lecturer in my arms and convince her that one whose heart is filled with the affection that glows in mine can find no room for any sentiment incompatible with virtue of which she is the express image adieu Julia Stanley letter 17 to Miss Grenville if thy Julia falls my beloved sister how great will be her condemnation with such supports and I hope I may add with an inward rectitude of mind I think she can never deviate from the right path you see my Louisa that not you alone are interested in my well-doing I have a secret nay I may say celestial friend and monitor a friend it certainly is though unknown all who give good counsel must be my true and sincere friends from whom I have received it I know not but it shall be my study to merit the favour of this earthly or heavenly conductor through the intricate mazes of life I will no longer keep you in ignorance of my meaning but without delay will copy for you a letter I received this morning the original I have too much veneration for depart with even to you who are dear to me than almost all the world beside the letter I cannot help anticipating the surprise your ladieship will be under from receiving a letter from an unknown hand nor will the signature contribute to develop the cloud behind which I choose to conceal myself my motives I hope will extenuate the boldness of my task and I rely likewise on the amiable qualities you so eminently possess to pardon the temerity of anyone who shall presume to criticize the conduct of one of the most lovely of God's works I feel for you as a man a friend or to some up all a guardian angel I see you on the brink of a steep precipice I shudder at the danger which you are not sensible of you will wonder at my motive and the interest I take in your concerns it is from my knowledge of the goodness of your heart were you less amiable than you are you would be below my solicitude I might be charmed with you as a woman but I should not venerate you nay should possibly enchant it as everyone must be with your personal attractions join with those who seek to seduce you to their own purposes the sentiments I profess for you are such as a tender father would feel such as your own excellent father cherishes but they are accompanied by a warmth which can only be equal to by their purity such sentiment shall I ever experience while you continue to deserve them and every service and my power shall be exerted in your favor I have long wished for an opportunity of expressing to you the tender care I take in your conduct through life I now so sensibly feel the necessity of apprising you of the dangers which surround you that I waive all forms and thus abruptly introduce myself to your acquaintance unknown indeed to you but knowing you well reading your thoughts and seeing the secret motives of all your actions yes Julia I have watched you through life nay start not I have never seen any action of yours but what had virtue for its guide but to remain pure and uncontaminated in this vortex of vice requires the utmost strength and exertion of virtue to avoid vice it is necessary to know its color and complexion and in this age how many various shapes it assumes my task shall be to point them out to you to show you the traps the snares and pitfalls which the unwary too frequently sink into to lead you by the hand through those intricate paths beset with quicksands and numberless dangers to direct your eyes to such objects as you may with safety contemplate induce you to shut them forever against such as may by their dire fascination entice you to evil to conduct you to those endless joys hereafter which are to be the reward of the virtuous and to have myself the inevitable delight of partaking them with you where no rival shall interrupt my felicity I am a Rosicrucian by principle I need hardly tell you they are a sect of philosophers who by a life of virtue and self-denial have obtained an heavenly intercourse with aerial beings as my internal knowledge of you to use the expression is in consequence of my connection with the Sylphiad tribe I have assumed the title of my familiar counselor this however is but as a preface to what I mean to say to you I have hinted I knew you well when I thus expressed myself it should be understood I spoke in the person of the self I shall occasionally do as it will be writing with more perspicuity in the first instance and as he is employed by me I may without the appearance of robbery safely appropriate to myself the knowledge he gains every human being has a guardian angel my skill has discovered yours my power has made him obedient to my will I have a right to avail myself of the intelligences he gains and by him I have learned everything that has passed since your birth what your future fortune is to be even he cannot tell his view is circumscribed to a small point of time he can only tell what will be the consequence of taking this or that step but your free agency prevents his impelling you to act otherwise than as you see fit I move upon a more enlarged sphere he tells me what will happen and as I see the remote as well as immediate consequence I shall from time to time give you my advice advice however one asked is seldom adhered to but when given voluntarily the receiver has no obligation to follow it I shall in a moment discover how this is received by you and your deviation from the rules I shall prescribe will be a hint for me to withdraw my counsel where it is not acceptable all that then will remain for me will be to deplore your too early initiation in a vicious world where to escape unhurt or uncontaminated is next to a miracle I said I should soon discover whether my advice would be taken in the friendly part it is offered I shall perceive it the next time I have the happiness of beholding you and I see you every day I am never one moment absent from you an idea and in my mind's eye I see you each moment only while I conceal myself from you can I be of service to you press not then to discover who I am but be convinced nay I shall take every opportunity to convince you that I am the most sincere and disinterested of your friends I am a friend to your soul my Julia and I flatter myself mine is congenial with yours I told you you were surrounded with dangers the greatest perhaps comes from the quarter least suspected and for that very reason because where no harm is expected no guard is kept against such a man as Lord Bidolf a watchful sentinel is planted at every avenue I caution you not against him there you are secure no temptation lies in that path no precipice lurks beneath those footsteps you never can fall unless your heart takes part with the tempter and I am morally certain a man of Lord Bidolf's cast can never touch yours and yet it is of him you see most apprehensive ask yourself is it not because he has the character of a man of intrigue do you not feel within your own breast a repugnant to the assiduities he at all times takes pains to show you without doubt Lord Bidolf has designs upon you and few men approach you without oh Julia it is difficult for the most virtuous to behold you daily and suppress those feelings your charms excite in a breast in your to two frequent indulgence and vicious courses your beauty will be a consuming fire but in a soul whose delight is moral rectitude it will be a cherishing flame that animates not destroys but how few the latter and how are you to distinguish the insidious betrayer from the open violator to you they are equally culpable but only one can be fatal ask your own heart the criterion by which I would have you judge ask your own heart which is entitled to your detestation most the man who boldly attacks you and by his threats plainly tells you he is a robber or the one who wonder the semblance of imploring your charity deprives you of your most valued property will it admit of a doubt make the application examine yourself and I can sure you examine your acquaintance but be cautious whom you trust never make any of your male visitors the confidant of anything which passes between yourself and husband this can never be done without a manifest breach of modest decorum have I not said enough for the present yet let me add thus much to secure to myself your confidence I wish you to place an unlimited one in me continue to do so while I continue to merit it and by this rule you shall judge of my merit the moment you discover that I urge you to anything improper or take advantage of myself assumed office and insolently prescribe when I should only point out or that I should seem to degrade others in your eyes and particularly your husband believe me to be an imposter and treat me as such disregard my sinister counsel and consign me to that scorn and derision I shall so much deserve but while virtue inspires my pen afford me your attention and may that God whom I attest to prove my truth ever be indulgent to you and forever and ever protect you so praise yourself who can it be my Louisa who takes this friendly interest in my welfare it cannot be Lady Malford the address bespeaks it to be a man but what man is the question one to sees me every day it cannot be the Baron for he seems to say Tonhousen is a more dangerous person than Lord Bidolf but why do I perplex myself with guessing of what consequences it who is my friend since I am convinced he is sincere yes thou friendly monitor I will be directed by thee I shall now act with more confidence as myself tells me he will watch over and apprise me of every danger I hope this task will not be a difficult one for though ignorant I am not obstinate on the contrary even sir William whom I do not suspect of flattery allows me to be extremely docile I am my beloved Louisa most affectionately yours Julia Stanley End of Letters 16 and 17 Duchess of Devonshire Letter 18 to Lady Stanley You who are ever so good so tender and indulgent the apprehensions of your friends yet indeed my dear you are reprehensible in many passages of your letters particularly the last you say you cannot suspect Sir William of Flattery would you wish him to be a flatterer did you think him such when he swore your charms had kindled the brightest flames in his bosom no Julia you gave him credit then for all he said but allowing him to be changed are you quite the same no with all the tenderness of my affection I cannot but think you are altered since your departure from the veil of innocent simplicity it is the knowledge of the world which has deprived you of those native charms above all others why are you not resolute with Sir William to leave London our acquiescence in matters which are hurtful both to our principles and constitution is a weakness obedience to the will of those who seek to seduce us from the right road is no longer a virtue but a reprehensible participation of our leaders faults be assured your husband will listen to your persuasive arguments exert all your eloquence and heaven I beseech thee grant success to the undertaking of the dearest of all creatures to Luisa Grenville End of letter 18 by Georgiana Cavendish Duchess of Devonshire letter 19 to Miss Grenville ah my dear Luisa you are single and know not the trifling influence a woman has over her husband in this part of the world had I the eloquence of Demosthenes or Cicero it would fail Sir William is wedded I was going to say to the pleasures of this bewitching place I corrected myself in the instant for was he wedded most probably he would be as tired of it as he is of his wife if I was to be resolute in my determination to leave London I must go by myself and not withstanding such a circumstance might accord with his wishes I do not choose to begin the separation all the determination I can make is to strive to act so as to deserve a better fate than has fallen my lot and beset as I am on all sides I shall have some little merit in so doing but you my love ought not to blame me so severely as you do indeed Luisa if you knew the sights I hourly receive from my husband and the conviction which I have of his infidelity you would not criticize my expression so harshly I could add many more things which would justify me in the eye of the world were I less cautious than I am but his failings would not extenuate any on my side would you believe that any man who wished to preserve the virtue of his wife would introduce her to the acquaintance and protection of a woman with whom he had had an intrigue what an opinion one must have in future of such a man I am indebted for this piece of intelligence to Lord Bidolf I am grateful for the information though I despise the motive which induced him yes Luisa Lady Anne Parker is even more infamous than Lady Bessford nay Lord Bidolf offered to convince me they still had their private assignations my pride I own it was more wounded than my love from this discovery as it served to confirm me in my idea that Sir William never had a proper regard for me but that he married me merely because he could obtain me on no other terms yet although I was sensibly panged with this news I endeavored to conceal my emotions from the disagreeable prying eyes of my informer I affected to disbelieve his assertions and ridiculed his ill policy in striving to found his merit on such base and detestable grounds he had too much effronterie to be chagrined with my railery I therefore assumed a more serious heir and plainly told him no man would dare to endeavor to convince a woman of the infidelity of her husband but from the basest and most injurious motives and as such was entitled to my utmost contempt that from my soul I despised both the information and informer and should give him proofs of it if ever he should again have the confidence to repeat his private histories to the destruction of the peace and harmony of families to extenuate his fault he poured forth a most elaborate speech abounding with flattery and was proceeding to convince me of his adoration but I broke off the discourse by assuring him I saw through this scheme from the first but the man who sought to steal my heart from my husband must pursue a very different course from that he had followed as it was very unlikely I should withdraw my affections from one unworthy subject to place them on another infinitely worse he attempted a justification which I would not allow him opportunity of going on with as I left the room abruptly however his lordship opened my eyes respecting the conduct of Lady Anne I have mentioned in a former letter that she used to give hints about my husband I am convinced it was her jealousy which prompted her to give me from time to time little anecdotes of Sir Williams amours but ought I to pardon him for introducing me to such a woman? oh Louisa am I to blame if I no longer respect such a man yesterday I had a most convincing proof that there are a sort of people who have all the influence over the heart of a man which a virtuous wife ought to have but seldom has by some accident a hook of Sir Williams waistcoat caught hold of the trimming of my sleeve he had just received a message and being in a hurry to disengage himself lifted up the flap of the waistcoat eagerly and snatched it away by which means two or three papers dropped out of the pocket he seemed not to know it but flew out of the room leaving them on the ground I picked them up but I take heaven to witness without the least intention or thought of seeing the contents when one being open and seeing my name written in a female hand and the signature of Lucy Gardner my curiosity was excited to the greatest degree yet I had a severe conflict first with myself but femaleism prevailed and I examined the contents which were as follows for I wrote them down is it thus Sir William you repay my tenderness in your favor go thou basest of all wretches am I to be made continually a sacrifice to every new face that strikes thy inconstant heart if I was contented to share you with a wife and calmly acquiesced do not imagine I shall rest in peace till you have given up Lady Anne how have you sworn you would see her no more how have you falsified your oath you spent several hours tatatate with her yesterday deny it not I could tear myself to pieces when I reflect that I left Bidolf who adored me whose whole soul was devoted to me to be slighted thus by you oh that lady Stanley knew of your baseness yet she is only your wife her virtue may console her for the infidelity of her husband but I have sacrificed everything and how am I repaid either be mine alone or never again approach Lucy Gardner the other papers were of little consequence I deliberated some time what I should do with this precious morceau at last I resolved to burn it and give the remainder with as much composure as possible to Sir William's valet to restore to his master I fancied he would hardly challenge me about the billet as he is the most careless man in the universe you will perceive there is another case for Lord Bidolf seeking to depreciate my husband he has private revenge to gratify for the loss of his mistress oh what wretches are these men is the whole world composed of such no even in this valley of vice I see some exceptions some who do honor to the species to which they belong but I must not whisper to myself their perfections and it is less dangerous for me to dwell upon the vices of the one than the virtues of the other and here Julia Stanley letter 20 to Miss Grenville to keep my mind constantly employed upon different objects and prevent my thoughts attaching themselves to improper ones I have lately attended the card tables from being an indifferent spectator of the various fashionable games I became an actor in them and at length play proved very agreeable as I was a nutter novice at the games of skill those of chance presented themselves as the best at first I risked only trifles but by little and little my party encroached upon the rules I had laid down and I could no longer avoid playing their steak but I have done with play forever it is no longer the innocent amusement I thought it and I must find out some other method of spending my time since this might in the end be destructive the other night at a party we made up a set at Bragg which was my favorite game after various vicissitudes I lost every shelling I had in my pocket and being a broken merchant sat silently by the table everybody was profuse in the offers of accommodating me with cash but I refused to accept their contribution Lord Bidolf whom you know to be justly my aversion was very earnest but I was equally peremptory however some time after I could not resist the entreaty of Berenton Hausen who in the gentlest manner entreated me to make use of his purse for the evening with great difficulty he prevailed on me to borrow ten guineas and was once more set up fortune now took a favorable turn and when the party broke up I had repaid the Baron replaced my original stock and brought off ninety-five guineas flushed with success and more attached than ever to the game I invited the set to meet the day after the next at my house I even counted the hours till the time arrived rest departed from my eyelids and I felt all the eagerness of expectation about twelve o'clock of the day my company were to meet I received a packet which I instantly knew to be from my ever watchful self I will give you the transcript to Lady Stanley I should be unworthy the character I have assumed if my pen was to lie dormant while I am sensible of the unhappy predilection which your ladyship has discovered for gaming play under proper restrictions which however in this licentious town can never take place may not be altogether prejudicial to the morals of those who engage in it for trifling sums your ladyship finds it not practicable always to follow your own inclinations even in that particular the triumphant joy which sparkled in your eyes when success crowned your endeavors plainly indicated you took no common satisfaction in the game you being a party so deeply interested could not discover the same appearances of joy and triumph in the countenances of some of those you played with nor had you made the observation could you have guessed the cause it has been said by those who will say anything to carry on an argument which cannot be supported by reason that cards prevent company falling upon topics of scandal it is a scandal to human nature that it should want such a resource from so hateful and detested a vice but be it so it can only be so while the some played for is of too trifling a concern to excite the anxiety which avaricious minds experience and everyone is more or less avaricious who gives up his time to cards if your ladyship could search into the causes of the unhappiness which prevails in too many families in this metropolis you would find the source to be gaming either on the one side or the other whatever appears licentious or vicious in men in your sex becomes so in a tenfold degree the passionate exclamation the half uttered implication and the gloomy pallidness of the losing gamester ill accords with the female delicacy but the evil rest not here when a woman has been drawn in to lose large sums and her allowance can defray even if she can submit to let her tradespeople suffer from her extravagant folly it most commonly happens that they part with their honor to discharge the account at least they are always suspected would not the consideration of being obnoxious to such suspicion be sufficient to deter any woman of virtue from running the hazard you made a firm resolution of not borrowing from the purses of any of the gentlemen who wish to serve you you for some time kept that resolution but to remember it lasted no longer than when one particular person made the offer was it your wish to oblige him or did the desire of gaming operate in that instant more powerful than in any other whatever was your motive the party immediately began to form hopes of you hopes which being founded in your weakness you may be certain were not to your advantage to make a more forcible impression on your mind your ladyship must allow me to lay before you a piece of private history in which a noble family of this town was deeply involved the circumstances are indubitable facts their names I shall conceal under fictitious ones a few years since Lord and Lady D with a happiest of pairs in each other love had been the sole motive of their union and love presided over every hour of their lives their pleasures were mutual and neither knew an enjoyment in which the other did not partake by an unhappy miss chance Lady D had an attachment to cards which yet however she only looked on as the amusement of an idle hour her person was beautiful and as such made her an object of desire in the eyes of Lord L her virtue and affection for her husband would have been sufficient to have damped the hopes of a man less acquainted with the weakness of human nature than Lord L had he paid her a more than ordinary attention he would have awakened her suspicions and put her on her guard he therefore pursued another method he availed himself of her love of play and would now and then seemingly by accident engage her in a party of PK which was her favorite game he contrived to lose trifling sums to increase her inclination for play too fatally he succeeded her predilection gathered strength every day and having been very unsuccessful for some hours at PK Lord L proposed a change of the game a proposal which Lady D could not object to as having won so much of his money he produced a pair of dice luck still ran against him a generous motive induced Lady D to offer him his revenge the next evening at her own house in the morning preceding the destined evening her lord signified his dislike of gaming with dice and instant some families to whom it had proved destructive he late however with good fortune and looking on herself engaged in honor to give Lord L a chance of recovering his losses she listened not to the hints of her husband nor did they recur to her thoughts till too late to be of any service to her the time so ardently expected by Lord L now arrived the devoted time which was to put the long destined victim into the power of her insidious betrayer fortune which had hitherto favored Lady D now deserted her in a short time her adversary reimbursed himself and won considerably besides adversity only rendered her more desperate she hazarded still larger stakes every throw however was against her and no otherwise good it be since his dice were loaded in which he had the dexterity to change unobserved by her he lent her money only to win it back from her in short in a few hours she found herself stripped of all the cash she had in possession and two thousand five hundred pounds in debt the disapprobation which her husband had expressed towards dice playing and her total inability to discharge this vast demand without his knowledge contributed to make her distress very great she freely informed Lord L she must be his debtor for some time as she could not think of appointing Lord D with her imprudence he offered to accept a part of her jewels till it should be convenient to her to pay the whole or if she liked it better to play it off to the first she said she could not consent as her husband would miss them and to the last she would by no means agree since she suffered too much already in her own mind from the imprudent part she had acted by risking so much more than she ought to have done he then approaching her took her hand in his and assuming the utmost tenderness in his air proceeded to inform her it was in her power amply to repay the debt without the knowledge of her husband and confer the highest obligations upon himself she earnestly begged an explanation since there was nothing she would not submit to rather than incur the censure of so excellent a husband without further preface Lord L threw himself on his knees before her and said if her heart could not suggest the restitution which the most ardent of lovers might expect and hope for he must take the liberty of informing her that bestowing on him the delightful privilege of an husband was the only means of securing her from the resentment of one at first she seemed thunderstruck and unable to articulate a sentence when she recovered the use of speech she asked him what he had seen in her conduct to induce him to believe that she would not submit to any ill consequences which might arise from the just resentment of her husband rather than not shoe her detestation of such an infamous proposal leave me added she leave me in perfect astonishment at such insolence of behavior he immediately rose with a very different aspect and holding a paper in his hand to which she had signed her name and acknowledgement of the debt then madam said he with the utmost sang froix I shall tomorrow morning take the liberty of waiting on Lord D with this stay my lord is it possible you can be so cruel and hard a creditor I consent to make over to you my annual allowance till the whole is discharged no madam cried he shaking his head I cannot consent to any such subterfuges when you have it in your power to pay this moment would to heaven I had answered she oh that you have most abundantly said he consider the hours we have been take a take together few people will believe we have spent all the time at play your reputation then will suffer and believe me while I attest heaven to witness either you must discharge the debt by blessing me with a possession of your charms or Lord D shall be made acquainted with every circumstance reflect continued he two thousand five hundred pounds is no small sum either for your husband to pay or me to receive come madam it grows late in a little time you will not have it in your power to avail yourself of the alternative your husband will soon return and then you may wish in vain that you had yielded to my love rather than have subjected yourself to my resentment she condescended to beg of him on her knees for a longer time for consideration but he was inexorable and at last she fatally consented to her own undoing the next moment the horror of her situation and the sacrifice she had made rushed on her tortured imagination give me the fatal paper cried she ringing her hands in the utmost agony give me that paper for which I have parted with my peace forever and leave me oh never let me in future behold you what do I say I'll rather let my eyes close the never-lasting darkness they are now unworthy to behold the face of heaven and do you really imagine madam all beautiful as you are the lifeless half distracted body you gave to my arms a recompense for five and twenty hundred pounds have you agreed to your bargain is it with tears sighs and reluctant struggles you meet your husband's caresses be mine as you are his and the bond is void otherwise I am not such a spendthrift as to throw away thousands for a little less than a rape oh thou most hateful and perfidious of all monsters too dearly have I earned my release do not then do not withhold my right hush madam hush cried he with the most provoking coolness your raving will but expose you to the ridicule of your domestics you are at present under too great an agitation of spirits to attend to the calm dictates of reason I will wait till your ladyship is in a more even temper when I receive your commands I will attend them and hope the time will soon arrive when you will be better disposed to listen to a tender lover who adores you rather than to seek to irritate a man who has you and his power saying which he broke from her leaving her in a state of mind of which you madam I sincerely hope will never be able to form the slightest idea with what a weight of woe she stole up into her bedchamber unable to bear the eye of her domestic how fallen in her own esteem and still bending under the penalty of her bond as neither prayers nor tears and nothing else was she able to offer could obtain the release from the inexorable and cruel Lord El how was her anguish increased when she heard the sound of her Lord's footstep how did she pray for instant death to prevent any conversation she faint sleep which now was banished from her eyelids guilt had driven the idea of rest from her bosom the morning brought no comfort on its wings to her the light was painful she still continued in bed she framed the resolution of writing to the destroyer of her repose she rose for that purpose her letter was couched in terms that would have pierced the bosom of the most obdurate savage all the favor she entreated was to spare the best of husbands and the most amiable and beloved of men the anguish of knowing how horrid a return she had made in one fatal moment for the years of felicity she had tasted with him again offered her alimony or even her jewels to obtain the return of her bond she did not wish for life death was now her only hope but she could not support the idea of her husband's being acquainted with her infamy what advantage could he Lord L proposed to himself from the possession of her person since tears size and the same reluctance would still accompany every repetition of her crime as her heart guilty as it now was and unworthy as she had rendered herself of his love was and ever must be her husband's only in short she urged everything likely to soften him in her favor but this fatal and circumstantial disclosure of her guilt and misfortunes was destined to be conveyed by another messenger than she designed Lord D having that evening expected someone to call on him on his return inquired if anyone had been there he was answered only Lord L did he stay yes till after eleven without thinking of any particularity in this he went up to bed discovered his wife was not asleep to pretend to be so alarmed him he heard her frequently sigh and when she thought him sunk in that peaceful slumber she had forfeited her distress increased his anxiety however at length gave way to fatigue but with the morning his doubts and fears returned yet how far from guessing the true cause he saw a letter delivered to a servant with some caution whom he followed and insisted on knowing for whom it was intended the servant ignorant of the contents and that at all suspicious he was doing an improper thing gave it to his lordship revenge lent him wings and he flew to the base destroyer of his conjugal happiness you may suppose what followed in an hour Lord D was brought home a lifeless corpse distraction seized the unhappy wife and the infamous cause of this dreadful calamity fled his country he was too hardened however in guilt to feel much remorse from this catastrophe and made no scruple of relating the circumstances of it to you madam I surely need make no comment nor do I need say any more to deter you from so pernicious of practice as gaming suspect a lord L in everyone who would induce you to play and remember they are the worst seducers and the most destructive enemies who seek to gain your heart by ruining your principles adieu madam your ever watchful angel will still hover over you and may that God who formed both you and me enable me to give you good counsel and dispose your heart to follow it your faithful self Lady Stanley in continuation alas my Louisa what would become of your Julia without this respectable monitor would to heaven I knew who he was or how I might consult him upon some particular circumstances I examined the features of my guests and hopes to discover my secret friend but my senses are perplexed and bewildered in the fruitless search it is certainly a weakness but absolutely my anxiety to obtain this knowledge has an effect on my health and spirits my thoughts and whole attention rests solely on this subject I call it a weakness because I ought to remain satisfied with the advantages which accrue to me from his correspondence without being inquisitively curious who it may be yet I wish to ask some questions I am uneasy and perhaps in some instances myself would solve my doubts not that I think him and dude with a preternatural knowledge yet I hardly know what to think neither however I bless and praise the goodness of God that has raised me up a friend in a place where I may turn my eyes around and see myself deprived of every other even my protector he who has sworn before God and man but you Louisa will represent my indiscreet expressions in my own bosom then shall the sad repository be adieu Julia Stanley letter 21 to Miss Grenville as you have entertained an idea that Sir William could not be proof against any occasional exertion of my eloquence I will give you a sketch of a matrimonial tate-a-tate though it may tend to subvert your opinion of both parties yesterday morning I was sitting in my dressing room when Sir William who had not been home all night entered it he looked as if he had not been in bed his hair disordered and upon the whole as forlorn a figure as you ever beheld I was going to say but you can form very little idea of these rakes of fashion after a night spent as they usually spend it to my inquiry after his health he made a very slight or rather peevish answer and flung himself into a chair with both hands in his waistcoat pockets and his eyes fixed on the fire before which he had placed himself as he seemed in an ill humor and I was unconscious of having given him cause I was regardless of the consequences and pursued my employment which was looking over and settling some accounts relative to my own expenses he continued his posture in the strictest silence for near a quarter of an hour a silence I did not feel within myself the least inclination to break through at last he burst forth into this pretty soliloquy damn it sure there never was a more unfortunate dog than I am everything goes against me and then to be so situated to unpromising as the opening sounded I thought it would be better to bear apart in the conversation if it is not impertinent sir William said I may I beg to know what occasions the distress you seem to express or at least inform me if it is in my power to be of service to you no no you can be of no use to me though continued he you are in part the cause I the cause for God's sake how cried I all astonishment why if your father had not taken advantage of my cursed infatuation for you I should not have been distressed in pecuniary matters by making so large a settlement a cursed infatuation do you call it sure that is a harsh expression oh how wretched would my poor father feel could he imagine the affection which he fancied his unhappy daughter had inspired you with would be styled by yourself and to her face a cursed infatuation thank you Louisa I was not pained to the soul too sure I was I could not prevent tears from gushing forth sir William saw the effect his cruel speech had on me he started from his seat and took my hand in his a little resentment and a thousand other reasons urged me to withdraw it from his touch give me your hand Julia cried he drawing his chair close to mine and looking at my averted face give me your hand my dear and pardon the rashness of my expressions I did not mean to use such words I recall them my love it was I would have doubled and troubled the settlement to have gained you I would buy heavens my Julia do not run from me in disgust come come you shall forgive me a thoughtless expression uttered in haste but seriously repented of you cannot deny your sentiments sir William nor can I easily forget them what my settlement is as I never wish to outlive you so I never wish to know how ample it was large I might suppose it to be from the conviction that you never pay any regard to consequences to obtain your desires let them be what they will I was the whim of the day and if you have paid too dearly for the trifling gratification I am sorry for it heartily sorry for it indeed sir William you found me in the lap of innocence and in the arms of an indulgent parent happy peaceful and serene would to heaven you had left me there I could not proceed my tears prevented my utterance Shah cried sir William clapping his fingers together and throwing his elbow over the chair which turned his face near me how ridiculous this is why Julia I am deceived in you I did not think you had so much resentment in your composition you ought to make some allowance for the derangement of my affairs my hands are tied by making a larger settlement than my present fortune would admit and I cannot raise money on my estate because I have no child and it is entailed on my uncle who is the greatest curmudgeon alive reflect on all these obstacles to my release from some present exigencies and do not be so hard-hearted and inexorable to the prayers and entreaties of your husband during the latter part of this speech he put his arm around my waist and drew me almost on his knees striving by a thousand little caresses to make me pardon and smile on him but Louisa caresses which I now know came not from the heart lose the usual effect on me yet I would not be as he said inexorable I therefore told him I would no longer think of anything he would wish me to forget with the utmost appearance of tenderness he took my handkerchief and dried my eyes laying his cheek close to mine and pressing my hands with warmth insured acting over the same farce as once induced me to believe I had created the most permanent flame in his bosom I could not bear the reflection that he should suffer from his former attachment to me and I had hopes that my generosity might rouse him from his lethargy and save him from the ruin which was likely to involve him I told him I would with the greatest cheerfulness relinquish any part of my settlement if by that means he could be extricated from his present and future difficulties why to be sure a part of it would set me to rights as to the present but as for the future I cannot look into futurity Julia I wish you could Sir William and reflect in time reflect oh that is so outre I hate reflection reflection cost poor D blank or his life the other day he like me could not bear reflection I tremble to hear you thus lightly speak of that horrid event the more so as I too much fear the same fatal predilection has occasioned your distress but may the cheerfulness with which I resign my future dependence awaken in you a sense of your present situation and secure you from fresh difficulties well said my little monitors why you are quite an orator too but you shall find I can follow your lead and be just at least if not so generous as yourself I would not for the world except the whole of your jointure I do not want it and if I had as much I could raise on it perhaps I might not be much richer for it riches make to themselves wings and fly away Julia there is a sentence for you did you think your rattle-pated husband had ever read the book of books from whence that sentence is drawn I really had little patience to hear him run on in this ludicrous and trifling manner what an argument of his insensibility to stop him I told him I thought we had better not lose time but have the writings prepared which would enable me to do my duty as an obedient wife and enable him to pay his debts like a man of honor and integrity and then he need not fear his treasure flying away since it would be laid up where neither thieves could break through or rust destroy the writings are preparing to dispose of an estate which was settled on me it brings in at present 500 a year which I find is but a quarter of my jointure ah would to heaven he would take all provided it would make a change in his sentiments but that I despair of without the interposition of a miracle you never saw such an alteration as an hour made on him so alert and brisk and apishly fond I mean effectively so for Louisa a man of Sir William's cast never could love sincerely never could experience that genuine sentimental passion which selfish joy disdaining seeks alone to bless the dearer object of its soul no his passions are turbulent the madness of the moment eager to please himself regardless of the satisfaction of the object and yet I thought he loved I likewise thought I loved oh Louisa how was I deceived but I checked my pen pardon me and if possible excuse your sister Julia Stanley End of Letters 19 through 21 Letter 22 of the Sylph This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org Recording by Larry Wilson The Sylph by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire Letter 22 Colonel Montague What are we to make of this divine and destructive beauty, this Lady Stanley? Did you not observe with what eager avidity she became a votary to the gaming table and bragged away with the best of us? You must. You was witness to the glow of animation that rained despotic over every lovely feature when she had got a pair of royal braggers in her snowy fingers but I am confoundedly bit. She condescended to borrow of that pattern of Germanic virtue Marentonhausen. Perhaps you will say why did not you endeavor to be the little premium? No, I thought I played a better game. It was better to be the second linter. Besides, I only wanted to excite her in a passion for play and, or I much deceived, never woman entered into it with more zeal. But what a turn to our affairs.  I could hardly close my eyes from the pleasing expectations I had formed of gratifying the wishes of my heart in both those interesting passions of love and revenge. Palpitating with hopes and fears I descended from my chariot at the appointed hour. The party where assembled and my devoted victim looked as beautiful as an angel of light. Her countenance wore a solemnity which added to her charms by giving an irresistible and persuasive softness to her features. I scrutinized the lineaments of her lovely face and I assure you she lost nothing by the strict examination. God's what a transporting creature she has, and what an insensible brute is Stanley. But I recall my words as to the last. He was distractedly in love with her before he had her, and perhaps, if she was my wife, I should be as indifferent about her as he is, or as I am about the numberless women of all ranks and conditions with whom I have trifled away the dull hours. While I was in the contemplation, anticipating future joys, I was struck all of a heap. As the country girl say, by hearing Lady Stanley say, It is in vain I have made a firm resolution never to play again. My resolution is the result of my own reflections on the uneasiness which those bits of painted paper have already given me. It is altogether fruitless to urge me, for from the determination I have made I shall never recede. My former winnings are in the sweepstake pool at the commerce table which you will extremely oblige me to sit down to. But for me I play no more. I shall have a pleasure in seeing you play, but I own I feel myself too much discomposed with ill fortune, and I am not unreasonable enough to be pleased with the misfortunes of others. I have armed my mind against the shafts of ridicule that I see pointed at me. But while I leave others the full liberty of following their own schemes of diversion, I dare say none will refuse me the same privilege. We all stared in astonishment, but the devil a one offered to say a word except against sitting down to divide her property. There we entered into a general protest. So we sat down, at least I can answer for myself, to an insipid game. Lady Stanley was marked down as a fine pigeon by some of our ladies, and as a delicious mousseau by the men. The gentle baron seemed all aghast.  Perhaps he has formed hopes that his soft size and respectful behavior may have touched the lovely Julia's heart. He felt himself flattered, no doubt, at her giving him the preference in borrowing from his purse. Well then his hopes are derange, as well as mine. But courage, Milord, I shall play another game now, and per adventure as safe a one, if not more so than what I planned before. I will not, however, anticipate a pleasure, which needs no addition, should I succeed, or add to my mortification, should I fail, by expatiating on it at present. Adieu, dear Montague, excuse my boring you with these trifles, for to a man in love everything is trifling except the trifle that possesses his heart, and to one which is not under the guidance of the soft deity, that is the greatest trifle to use a hibernicism of all. I am yours most cordially, Bidolf. End of letter twenty-two. Recorded by Céline Mejore. The Silph, by Georgiana Cavendish, Duchess of Devonshire. Letter twenty-three. To Miss Grenville. Well, my dear Louisa, the important point I related the particulars of in my last is quite settled, and Sir William has been able to satisfy some rapacious creditors. Would to heaven I could tell you the butcher, baker, etc. were in the list? No, my sister, the creditors are a vile set of gamblers, or in the language of the polite world, black legs. Thus is the purpose of my heart entirely frustrated and the laudably industrious tradesman defrauded of his due. But how long will they remain satisfied with being repeatedly put by with empty promises which are never kept? Good God, how is this to end? I give myself up to the most gloomy reflections and see no point of time when we shall be extricated from the cruel dilemmas in which Sir William's imprudence has involved us. I vainly fancied I should gain some advantages, at least raise myself in his opinion from my generosity. But I find on the contrary, he only laughed at me for being such a simpleton to suppose the sale of five hundred a year would set him to rights. It is plain I have got no credit for my condescension for he has not spent one day at home since and his temper when I do see him seems more uncertain than ever. Oh, Louisa! And do all young women give up their families, their hand and virgin affections to be thus recompensed? But why do I let fall these expressions? Alas, they fall with my tears and I can no more suppress the one than the other. I ought, however, and I indeed do endeavor against both. I seek to arm my soul to support the evils with which I see myself surrounded. I beseech heaven to afford me strength for I too plainly see I am deprived of all other resources. I forgot to caution you, my dear sister, against acquainting my father that I have given up part of my jointure.  You know I have pledged my honor to you, I will never by my own conduct accumulate the distresses this fatal union has brought on me. Though every vow on his part is broken through, yet I will remember I am his wife and what is more, your sister. Would you believe it?  To this tender and husband-like speech I return to no other answer than that. My conscience should be the rule and guide of my actions and that I was certain would never lead me to disgrace him. I left the room as I found some difficulty in stifling the resentment which rose at his indignant treatment. But I shall grow callous in time. I have so far conquered my weakness as never to let a teardrop in his presence. Those indications of self-sorrow have no effect on him unless indeed he had any point to gain by it and then he would feign a tenderness foreign to his nature but which might induct the ignorant, uninstructed fool to yield up everything to him. Perhaps he knows it not, but I might have instructors enough. But he has taught me sufficient of evil, thank God, to make me despise them all. From my unhappy connections with one I learned to hate and to test the whole race of rakes. I might add of both sexes. I trembled to think what I might have been had I not been blessed with a virtuous education and had the best of patterns in my beloved sister. Thus I was early initiated in virtue and let me be grateful to my kind self whose knowledge of human nature has enabled him to be so serviceable to me. He is a sort of second conscience to me. What would the self say? I whisper to myself, would he approve? I flatter myself that insignificant as I am I am yet the care of heaven. And while I depend on that merciful providence and its vice-gerence I shall not fall into those dreadful pits that are open on every side but to strengthen my reliances let me have the prayers of my dear Louisa. For every support is necessary for her faithful Julia. Letter 24 To the same I have repeatedly mentioned to my Louisa how earnestly I wish to have more frequent communications with myself. A thought struck me the other day of the practicability of affecting such a scheme. I knew I was safe from detection as no one on earth yourself accepted new of his agency in my affairs. I therefore addressed an advertisement to my invisible friend which I sent to the St. James Chronicle couched in this concise manner. To the self Grateful for the friendly admonition the receiver of the self's favor is desirous of having the power of expressing it more largely than is possible through this channel. If still entitled to protection begs to be informed how a private letter may reach his hand I have not leisure nor inclination to make a long digression or would tell you the St. James is a newspaper which is the fashionable vehicle of intelligence and from the circumstance alone of its admission into all families and meeting all eyes I chose it to convey my wishes to the self. The next evening I had the satisfaction of finding those wishes answered and the further pleasure, as you will see by the enclosed copy, of being assured of his approbation of the step I have taken and now for a little of family affairs. You know I have a certain allowance of what is called pin money. My quarter having been due for some time I thought I might as well have it in my own possession not that I am poor for I assure you on the contrary I have generally a quarter in hand though I am not in debt. I sent wind to Harris's the steward from my stipend. She returned with his duty to me a quainting-meat was not in his power at present to honour my note not having any cash in hand. Surprised at his inability of furnishing a hundred and fifty pounds I desired to speak with him when he gave me so melancholy a detail of his master's circumstances as makes me dread the consequences. He is surrounded with Jew brokers for in this Christian land Jews are the money negotiators and such wretches as you would tremble to behold are admitted into the private recesses of the great and caressed as their better angels. These infernal agents procure their money for which they pay fifty a hundred and sometimes two hundred percent. Am I wrong in styling them infernal? Do they not make the silly people who trust in them pay very dear for the means of accomplishing their own destruction? Like those miserable beings they used to call witches who were said to sell their souls to the devil for everlasting to have the power of doing temporary mischief upon earth. These now form the bosom associates of my husband. Ah, wonder not the image of thy sister is banished hence. Rather rejoice with me that he pays that reverence to virtue and decency as to distinguish me from that dreadful herd of which his chief companions are composed. I go very little from home. In truth I have no creature to go with. I avoid Lord Bidolf because I hate him. And dare I whisper it to my Louisa? I estrange myself from the Baron lest I should be too partial to the numerous good qualities I cannot but see and yet which it would be dangerous to contemplate too often. Oh Louisa, why are there not many such men? His merit would not so forcibly strike me if I could find anyone in the circle of my acquaintance who could come in competition with him. For, be assured, it is not the tincture of the skin which I admire. Not because fairest, but best. But where shall a married woman find excuse to seek for and admire merit in any other than her husband? I will banish this too, too amiable man from my thoughts. As myself says such men, under the circumstances I am in, are infinitely more dangerous than a Bidolf. Yet can one fall by the hand of virtue? Alas, this is deceitful sophistry. If I give myself up to temptation, how dare I flatter myself I shall be delivered from evil? Could two men be more opposite than what Sir William appeared at Woodley Vale and what he now is? For too surely that was appearance. This, reality. Think of him then sitting in your library, reading by turns with my dear father some instructive and amusing author, while we listen to their joint comments. What lively sallies we discovered in him, and how we all united in approving the natural flow of good spirits chastened as we thought with the principles of virtue. See him now. But my pen refuses to draw the pain-inspiring portrait. Alas, it would be but a copy of what I have so repeatedly traced in my frequent letters. A copy from which we should turn with disgust bordering on contempt. This we should do, where the character unknown or indifferent to us. But how must that woman feel? Who sees in the picture the well-known features of a man whom she is bound by her vows to love, honour and obey?  I will not, however, tax that tenderness too much. I will not dwell on the melancholy theme. But I lose sight of my purpose in thus contrasting Sir William to himself. I meant to infer from the total change which seems to have taken place in him that other men may be the same, could the same opportunity of developing their characters present itself. Thus, though the baron wears this semblance of an angel, yet it may be assumed. What will not men do to carry a favourite point? He saw the open and avowed principles of libertinism in Lord Bidolf disgusted me from the first. He therefore may conceal the same invidious intention unto the seducing form of every virtue. The simile of the robber and the beggar in the self's first letter occurs to my recollection. Yet perhaps I am injuring the baron by my suspicion. He may have had virtue enough to suppress those feelings in my favour, which my situation should certainly destroy in a virtuous breast. Nay, I believe I may make myself wholly easy on that head. He has, for some time, paid great attention to Miss Finch, who I find has totally broke with Colonel Montague. Certainly, if we should pay any deference to appearance, she will make a much better election by choosing Baron Taunhausen than the Colonel. She has lately, Miss Finch I should say, has lately spent more time with me than any other lady, for my two first companions I have taken an opportunity of civility dropping. I took care to be from home whenever they called by accident and always to have some prior engagement when they proposed meeting by design. Miss Finch is by much the least reprehensible character I have met with. But, as Lady Bessford once said, one can form no opinion of what a woman is while she is single. She must keep within the rules of decorum. The single state is not a state of freedom. Only the married ladies have that privilege. But as far as one can judge there is no danger in the acquaintance of Miss Finch. I own I like her for having refused Colonel Montague and yet, oh human nature, upon looking over what I have written, I have expressed myself disrespectfully on the supposition that she saw Taunhausen with the same eyes as a certain foolish creature that shall be nameless. End of Letters 23 and 24. Letter 25 of the Sylph. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Sylph by Georgiana Cavendish Duchess of Devonshire. Letter 25. Enclosed in the foregoing to Lady Stanley. The satisfaction of a benevolent heart will ever be its own recompense. For not its own reward as you have sweetly assured me by the advertisement that blessed my eyes last night. I beheld with pleasure that my admonitions have not lost their intended effect. I should have been most cruelly disappointed and have given up my knowledge of the human heart as imperfect had I found you incorrigible to my advice.  Your renunciation of your favorite gain and cards in general give every reason to justify my sentiments of you.  And since I dare hope to receive from you is a just and implicit observance of my dictates while they are influenced by virtue of which none but you can properly judge. Since to none but yourself they are addressed doubts. I am convinced may arise in your mind concerning this invisible agency as far as is necessary. I will satisfy those doubts, but to be forever concealed from your knowledge as to identity. In a good sense we'll see too clearly the necessity out to need any illustration from my pen. If I admired you before, how much has that admiration increased from the cheerful acquiescence you have paid to my injunctions. Go on then, my beloved charge, pursue the road of virtue and be assured, however rugged the path and tedious the way you will one day arrive at the goal and find her in her own form how lovely. I had almost said, as lovely as yourself, perhaps you will think this last expression to warm and favoring more of that man than the Rosa Crucian philosopher, but be not alarmed by the most rigid observance of virtue. It is we attain this superiority over the rest of mankind, and only by this course can we maintain it. We are not however divested of our sensibilities. I believe, as they have not been vitiated by contamination, they are more tremblingly alive than other mortals usually are. In the human character I could be of no use to you, in the silphiad of the utmost. Look on me then only in the light of a preter natural being, and if my sentiments should sometimes flow in a more earthly style, yet take my word as a silk, they shall never be such as shall corrupt your heart. As regarded from the corruptions of mortals is my soul view in the lectures I have given, or shall from time to time give you. I saw and admired the laudable motive which induced you to give up part of your settlement with heaven for your sake. You were attended with the happy consequences you flattered yourself with seeing. Alas, all the produce of that is squandered after the rest. Beware how you are prevailed on to resign any more. No question not, you will have application made you very soon for the remainder or at least part of it, but take this advice of your true and disinterested friend. The time may come and from the unhappy propensities of civilian I must fear it will not belong, ere it does come when both he and you may have no other resource than what your jointure affords you. By this ill placed benevolence you will deprive yourself of the means of supporting him when all other means will have totally failed that this be your plea to resist his importunities. When you shall be disposed to make me the repository of your confidential thoughts, you may direct to AB at Anderton's coffee house. I rely on your prudence to take note measures to discover me. May you be as happy as you deserve or in one word as I wish you your careful sills. End of letter 25.