My desk is a little bit messy today. Today's video is about an art hop I'm doing over with Peg Robinson. She has a YouTube channel that I will link in the description below. I'm doing an art hop with a number of ladies actually and all of their videos will be linked below. At least I think at this moment that's how it's going to work. The art hop as you notice in the title is the theme is primitive, a hashtag art hop primitive. And so I'm going to do a cute little piece I think of primitive art and I just wanted to come on camera first to explain what I was doing before I just I'll speed through the process but I have I guess by accident found myself creating memorial pieces of art in clay or resin mostly for friends and family whose pets have passed. I also do memorial watercolor pet portraits again this all happened sort of by happenstance and I was working on some samples for my sister whose dog is passing and when at some point she already knows she wants me to do some memorial pieces and I won't go into the long explanation of it but she has a collection of heart rocks that means something to her and her dog and she said can we make something like that out of his ashes with maybe resin or clay. I said of course we can. So this was the sample that I came up with actually oops and this had some things in it in the clay to simulate ashes also some glitter and a bunch of different kinds of polymer clay including some translucent clay it's coated with some gloss glaze it's all female I believe and so I have this sample piece now I'm thinking okay she loved it so we're going to make one for her and when the time is right in the meantime I think I want to do more to this sample and create a little piece of primitive art with it. I have a variety of things on my desk including some distressed copper some distressed cheese cloth string a piece of muslin various charms and beads and craziness some of my decorated sticks some of my painted feathers some of my dead canvas patches so I think we're going to create a little piece of art with this that could either be hung on the wall I have an all little altar table here in my art room I could put it there I do I want to do more of this little primitive piece unfinished raw just like it looks like it got pulled from nature yeah alright so let's do that I'm going to speed forward through my process and I'll be right back okay guys what do you think I love it I could picture it just it has to dry now I used e6000 which you really need to let set for 12 to 24 hours to dry completely I used this glue because there's lots of different layers of things non porous things heavy things on this piece of little piece of art and I really want it to stick so I used e6000 it's really the best glue for this kind of thing but how much do you love this I could totally see it on a little piece of distressed wood or I'm getting the you know I really want a knot or something right there on the front of the heart so let's do that while we're talking I could see it on a little piece of distressed wood or on the front I have a journal cover that's maybe made out of a really old distressed book boards front and back book boards my friend Jerry Bellini who has recycled parts for art Etsy shop sells that kind of thing I could see it just laying on a table like this because it's just the kind of piece that you want to look at and touch and pick up and that's another reason why you want to use a glue like e6000 because if people are going to be picking it up and touching it you don't want stuff to fall out so I'm going to just I want a little knot on the front of that string so I'm just going to take some more of this string that I had I tied it in a knot like a few times I'm going to unravel the ends so they're like unraveled yeah yeah I like that and so I'm going to just glue that on the front you definitely if you're going to do a memorial piece of clay with your pet's ashes or something in it dried flowers from a funeral this is definitely something that you could make and decorate it after the heart part is made with things that you remind you of them maybe a piece of cloth from if it's for a human a piece of cloth from one of their clothing or I'm going to shove some more glue down here or you could use if it's a pet you could use their dog collar their blanket a toy something like that just show some more glue down here so we can make sure it stays pokey tool now this does glue does dry clear so no worries in that regard so there we go I love it I love it I love it do where we still on camera let's see there we go I use some of the painted feathers I've been making the sticks wrapped in embroidery floss the faux jewel beetle wings which are made out of fake fingernails painted with black nail polish first and then you use some sort of iridescent nail polish on it that I got this one but it's called by born pretty I don't know what the color is but it's this metallic it looks just like the jewel beetle wings I make these kind of little embellishments if you've been following me on Instagram or Twitter or anything like that then you've seen these and kind of probably wondered okay that's cute and I'll what the heck she's going to do with it this is the kind of thing you do with it these cute little pieces of primitive art I just love them so that's it I hope this gives you some ideas of what you can do please check out the video description here for the other video links and channel links don't forget to also look at my link list that's down there if you click on the one link it'll take you to a list of all the places you can find me all over the Internet my Etsy store my website all that stuff my happy mail address is down there and everything else so check out the video description please like share and subscribe and above all don't forget to go out and do something nice for yourself because you deserve it and I'll see you later bye guys


Hi everyone, today we aren't cooking. We are making salad. So today's recipe is a nice delicious refreshing salad. It's too hot to cook so let's put together a nice meal that we can have for lunch or dinner. This is going to have some strawberries in it, some apples. We're going to do some goat cheese.  I like to throw in tons of things because it makes it very interesting salad. Lots of textures and flavors going on and I love that. And we're going to dress this salad with a nice lime dressing that I think you're going to love. So I'm rockin' Robin and I'm going to show you how to do it right after this. Time for our chef joke. What did the salad dressing say to the tomato? Don't look, I'm dressing. Alright so let's start by going over our ingredients for our lime dressing. So we've got our olive oil here. I'm using a nice extra virgin olive oil. We have some garlic powder, some ground coriander, fresh lime juice, always use fresh, and date paste. Now I want to talk about the date paste for a second. Now with the date paste I like to use that. It's a, if you've seen my videos you know that I love to use date paste in a lot of different recipes. It's a great sweetener, better than using sugar in my opinion because it has a lot of vitamins and minerals and fiber in it. So and it has a very nice, caramel-like flavor that I think goes really well in a lot of recipes. We'll need some Dijon mustard and some salt. Alright so we'll start mixing up our dressing. I'm going to start with my olive oil. I'm going to place about a quarter of a cup into my bowl here.  Yes I'm using my fingers but my fingers are clean. And you can get the written recipe for this down below this video in the description. So click down there where it says show more if you're on a computer and if you're on an iPhone I think it's a little triangle on the right side below the video. So click that and you'll see that along with all kinds of other information down there. Next goes our date paste. I'm going to put them, these are going to be heaping tablespoons and you can adjust the sweetness to your liking of course. That's a half a teaspoon of garlic powder and a half a teaspoon of ground coriander. And then we need to add our limes to this so we want to give them a nice little roll on the counter to kind of loosen up those juices in the cells and then it'll come out a lot quicker and easier. Alright so we'll just cut this in half and we need about a quarter of a cup of this as well. So I'll just place in my juicer here and I like to measure it out into my cup. We'll just place that right in here in our bowl. I'm going to add a pinch of salt, take a whisk and whisk it up. Alright so now it's just a matter of putting our salad together. I can't wait I'm starving to eat this. We're going to use some herb, I've got some herb salad mix here that I'm going to toss in a bowl and we're just going to chop all these things up and I'll show you as we go. I'll just be adding them to the bowl and then it'll be time to dress it and then eat it. Now I like to add mushrooms to my salad but I like them with the super super fine dice because of the texture thing. I'm one of those kind of people that doesn't like the texture of them but I like the flavor and they're healthy for you. So I'm just going to chop them up super fine and I won't even hardly know they're there. I've got some artichoke hearts over here that I'm going to chop a little bit smaller and I get cabbage over here. So place some of those greens into a bowl. Alright so here goes the mushrooms. We've got the artichoke hearts. Toss those in. And here goes our shredded cabbage. Alright I've got a few chopped beets. I just happen to have these leftovers in my fridge. So these are already cooked. I got these at Trader Joe's. They come back in packed. Perfect. You just take them out and chop them up and they're good to go. I like to add pumpkin seeds. I picked these up. This is sprouted pumpkin seeds from Costco. These are delicious and they are jam-packed with protein and magnesium and zinc and potassium.  They're lightly salted. I'm going to toss those in. I'll add in some hemp hearts. Again another good protein source. So I'll put a sprinkle of that in. Alright I'm still adding some fruit to this on apple and some strawberries. I've got some nice organic strawberries here that I'm just going to slice up and put those in. I'm leaving the apple till last because it oxidizes. You could sprinkle a little bit of the dressing on it because it's got some acidity from the lime in it and that would keep it from turning brown. That's an option but I just decided not to do that right now. My apple is organic. I'm going to leave the peeling on it. You can take it off if you want. So you want to cut this up into just bite-sized pieces. And I'll place that in there. Last thing I have is some goat cheese crumbles that I just like a little bit of that in there. Everything here of course is optional. Add what you like. Take out what you don't and have a great salad. Alright time to dress this salad and then I like to give it a little toss. Mix everything together. There's so much good stuff in here guys. This is one healthy salad. It will fill you up.   Alright it's taste test time. Oh my goodness. Big bite. So many good flavors going on. Man I love that. Just everything in there. The dressing's got a little tang to it and a little bit of sweetness which I like. Super delicious right. That's what I always say. You got to try this so good. Might you be interested in another salad dressing recipe or even another salad recipe? Well I've got you covered. I've got a very popular balsamic vinaigrette that I'm going to leave a link for right here in this right over there. Go ahead and click that. It'll take you to it. It is a delicious recipe. I think you'll love it. And yeah thanks for watching today. I really appreciate it. Don't forget to subscribe. Leave me a comment and help me share my channel by smashing the like button. That really does help. So thanks again. We'll see you next week.


Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Astley of johnathanastley.com, and I'm so excited to be doing this live stream for you today. Our topic, he's moving slow, the five signs he's into you. Now really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the Subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new videos. And if any time during this video, the content resonates with you, please do me a favor and hit that Like button so I can be seen in the YouTube algorithms. Lastly, or not lastly, one of the things I wanna share with you is my coaching is what I call Heart-Centered Radical Honesty. It's direct, a little tough love and a lot of heart. And occasionally I use expletives to enhance the sentence. And if that's not your cup of tea, couple F-bombs every now and again, then I highly suggest logging off right now. And lastly, I'm up here to share my perspective, my opinions, I don't consider myself an expert, I am a coach, but I don't consider myself an expert. So I'm here to say these are just my opinions, take it for what it's worth. And if it resonates with you great, and if it doesn't, then that's okay too. All right, let's jump into the topic. He's moving slow, those five signs that he's into you. All right, so I wanna, when I thought about this title, or actually, I'll be candid with you. I took this title from another contemporary of mine. In fact, many of the titles that I choose are from other contemporaries, or I often do come up with my own as well. What I'm here to share though, is that the way people approach relationships is different. Every person approaches a relationship at a different pace. So there's not one size fits all. Some men come on strong, some men go slow, some men are romantic, some men are chivalrous, some men are clueless, some men are arrogant, some men are conceited, some men are narcissist, and some, and most men, however, are good guys. They're just bad daters, as I always say. And what I mean to say is men and women alike can be very bad at the dating process, because the reality is, is most human beings do a weak job of actually getting to know another human being. I'm gonna repeat that, most human beings do a weak job of actually getting to know another human being. In fact, it takes about 100 hours of face to face time to get to stage one of getting to know another human being. Think about that, that's 100 hours of face to face time just to get to stage one of getting to know another human being. That can take anywhere from six weeks to three months if you're seeing each other on a regular basis. And for those folks that are doing the long distance, they're counting on the telephone to create connection. And I'm here to say ladies, men do not bond through the telephone. We don't bond through the telephone. We bond through physical activities with you. So you're probably thinking, well, Jonathan, what does this have to do with men who go slow? Well, I know many of you have experienced men who come on strong, they come on strong. That coming on strong is oftentimes based on lust or limerence. I'm gonna repeat that, lust or limerence. And by the way, Google limerence, limerence simply means extreme infatuation, extreme infatuation that's driven biologically speaking. It's driven by chemistry. It's driven by chemicals being released in the brain, mostly dopamine that says to, that triggers the body to say, hunt, chase, hunt, chase, pursue, hunt, chase. So ladies, when you hear that men are on the hunt, men are in pursuit, men love the chase, it's usually the biological aspect of what's going on inside of them that's driven by lust or limerence or basically they wanna sleep with you, okay? So that's the come on strong. Then there's an other men that are very passive in the relationship process. Now, some men are passive in that they're not overly romantic and some men are passive because they're taking their time to actually get to know you in that 100 hour context that I was talking about a few moments ago. So you might be wondering, well, God, did this guy really like me? And you might be wondering, what are the signs that he really likes you? And that's what I'm about to share with you today, those five signs. So I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses. This is my notes for today. And by the way on Instagram, that's my notes. By the way, I'm recording this on Instagram right over there. So one of the signs, by the way, I wanna repeat this one thing. Oftentimes men are considered slow because they're not overly romantic. I'm gonna repeat that men are considered slow because they're not overly romantic.  So let me just bear with me for a second because I remember after the first bachelorette that was on, you know, the bachelor and bachelorette, there was Trista and Ryan. And I will never forget watching that episode of God that could have been 20 years ago now, or not quite 20 years ago, but at least a decade and a half ago. I remember Ryan wrote poetry to Trista. And I used to write poetry myself. And I remembered shortly after my divorce and I was dating, if I was felt that I liked a woman, I would actually write a poem for her.  It was actually coming from a needy place inside me, that needy place to make someone to want to like me. Because when somebody is doing what I'm gonna say, romantic gestures to a total stranger, it's oftentimes to get a person to like them. So I'm bringing this up because remember we talked about men are come on strong, men are passive, but also oftentimes men who are not romantic are considered passive. And guys like myself that was overly romantic, that was actually coming from a needy place, that need to get you to like me. So I went off in a tangent, but I want you to get a sense of what I was talking about there. So now let's get into those five signs he's into you. And I think the first one is hugely important. And it says here, he clearly expresses, he seeks an exclusive relationship. He clearly expresses he seeks an exclusive relationship. Now I know a lot of you women have experienced men who state in the early stages of dating that they're seeking a relationship. But here's the thing about a relationship is oftentimes the relationship that they're seeking is could be what I call is friends with benefits, but you just don't know about it. What I mean is you're actually just a friend with benefit to him, but you're not aware of that. Or you're in a casual relationship or you're in what's known as a situation ship, okay? Situation ship, casual relationship, friends with benefits, you just don't know about it. Those are relationships that are ambiguous. They're ambiguous. And while some of them might include monogamy and exclusivity, or excuse me, yes, monogamy and exclusivity in the sense that they're not actively dating other people, it's ambiguous to the direction of a fully committed relationship that leads to either moving in together or getting married. I'm gonna repeat that. A fully committed relationship that either leads to moving in together or getting married or some sort of partnership between the two of them. So when a man right off the bat clearly states he seeks an exclusive, fully committed relationship with some sort of long-term direction, that's a great sign that he's into you, okay?  That he sees you something more than casual or more than a situation ship. And situation ships are simply two people that spend time together that have no clue whether or not they're in a relationship or not. And I gotta tell you, a lot of women are experiencing this today. In fact, I spoke to a woman yesterday who communicated to me that she's been in an eight-year Friends with Benefits relationship, an eight-year Friends with Benefits relationship. This is a woman that started in her early 40s with this guy. She's in her late 40s right now. And this relationship isn't going anywhere. And he actually now pulled away completely from even the Friends with Benefits relationship. And she didn't go out and date anyone during this period of time. And that's most likely, I didn't dig deep enough, I didn't get the chance to dig deep enough, is that she was always hoping something would change. Something would change, something would change. Ladies, magic fairy dust doesn't change the outcome of your relationship. Intentionality changes the outcome of a relationship by being intentional from the very beginning. So a man who states clearly, he seeks an exclusive committed relationship with some sort of long-term potential to it is a great sign that he's into you. Okay, number two. Oh, you rarely go 48 hours without hearing from him. I repeat that, you rarely go 48 hours without hearing from him.  I can tell you, I've spoken to women that expect two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 check-ins throughout the day. Otherwise they're losing their mind because he must be off with somebody else. Folks, we're suckling on the nipple of dependency. We're literally suckling on the nipple of, I need you to like me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to like me so I can feel good about myself. I need you to like me so I can feel good about myself. This is the dilemma many of us and myself and they're included. Remember when I talked about doing romantic things before I even know someone? That's an example of wanting someone to like me before I even knew them. This is why I'm such a big proponent of self-love in everybody's life. And if you're not familiar with this, I've written a book called What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway? There's a link below to get a copy of my book. It's a book of personal development, self-help and spiritual work. So you don't need someone to love you so you don't need someone to love you for you to be happy within yourself. And the man who's into you is still gonna check in on a regular basis.  And hopefully it's a two-lane street. You're checking in with him. He checks in with you. It's not fully his responsibility to be the constant reaching out because I will tell you this ladies, men aren't necessarily designed to be the ones who reach out. I can tell you amongst my male friends, I mean, we hardly ever talk to one another. It's usually kind of a rarity when we get on the phone and call each other unless there's something going on. We don't check in with each other on a regular basis. That's not a male thing to do for say with other men. And even in relationship, it's not something that we were designed to do on an incessant basis, except for when we are on the hunt for sex, when we're pursuing sex, when we're on the hunt for sex, we'll check in with you a hundred times a day until we've gotten that conquest in. And then we go back to our old patterning of kind of being in our own world. However, a guy who's really into you, he's gonna check in with you on a regular basis. Okay, number three.  Let me repeat that. So let's say he's got a busy life and you've got a busy life. Men who are not serious about a relationship, men who are not into you, are usually reaching out to you at, they're reaching out to you at his beck and call, right? In other words, it's on his timeline, his time schedule, when he wants to see you. When a man is into you, he makes time for you, when it's convenient at your schedule, as well as his own schedule. I'm gonna repeat that. He makes time for you at his own schedule and when it fits in with your schedule as well, because not everybody have identical schedules with one another. And so a man who's into you is making effort based on your schedule and not always at his beck and call, okay? Oh, number four, and I shared this in the title. This is the most important one. Number four is he genuinely appreciates talking and being with you. I'll repeat that. He genuinely appreciates talking and being with you. In other words, he feels good when you're together. He feels good when you're together. This past weekend was my birthday and I got to spend it with my best friend and his girlfriend. In fact, he took me to the Hollywood Bowl. I'm kind of lucky my best friend has the front box at the Hollywood Bowl. I mean, total privilege there. I mean, ballet, parking, cut through lines, meal service, the whole nine yards. I mean, thank you, Jeff, for that. And I was watching him and his girlfriend together and I'll be candid with you. I've known this man for over 35 years and I don't think I've ever seen him this happy in relationship. He's genuinely happy with his partner and to watch the two of them talk, you can just see how much he's into her because he genuinely feels good when he's with her. He genuinely feels good talking with her. Men who are into seek communication not from that needy place of I've got to dump all my problems and I just want you to listen place but from that place of curiosity, from that place of excitement, from that place of enthusiasm. When a man is into you, he enjoys talking with you. And while he may be perceived going slow, it's because he's not necessarily driven by lust. He's not necessarily driven by limerence nor is he driven by romance. He's actually driven by the desire of wanting to get to truly know you as another human being. Let me just say this. I throw men and women under the bus regularly. That's because for my world, I believe 80% of the human population or at least here in the United States anyway, the single population I should say is emotionally immature or emotionally stunted at best. Let me repeat that. 80%, this is just my perception of human beings, men and women like are emotionally immature or emotionally stunted at best. And what that means is they're not very good communicators of their emotions nor do they know how to navigate their inner world with a sense of peace. This is why I'm a big proponent of everybody reading the book, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. This is chapter one and chapter two is learning how to talk to the voices in your head because what I'm here to say going back to feeling good, those men that feel good is that a lot of men don't feel good within themselves. So how can they even feel good with a partner? If a man or woman isn't operating from a place of self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love, it makes it more challenging to be in a relationship and the less they love on themselves, the harder it is to be in relationship with another human being. And so I'm here to say, just to go back to my friend, when a guy is genuinely happy with his partner, he wants to be with her. Doesn't matter the pace of what the two are going at, because as I said before, the pace oftentimes is you might have an expectation of the pace here and his operating capacity is here and that's still a great place to go at because it's not a pace based on sex, it's not a pace based on neediness and it's not based on making you, making him try to make you like him. Is that making sense? Is this sinking in? If it is, please hit that like button and let me know. Okay, and the fifth and final way to tell if he's into you, he includes you in his outside life. I'm gonna repeat that, he includes you in his outside life. That includes his work, that includes his hobbies, that includes his kids, that includes his friends. You know, I'll be candid with you. I got an application for coaching the other day from a woman who's been in a year and a half relationship and I was floored to hear that she had never been to his home and only met his kids once and it was like a drive-by within a year and a half. I mean, really, really, this is a man you're in relationship with and you've never been to his home and you've never really met his kids. Now, my first reaction might be that he's still married. That's why I wasn't invited to her home but to the fact that he introduced to the kids, I mean, I'm assuming that he probably is divorced and he can have a variety of reasons why he didn't invite her to her home but a man who's into you will include you in his outside life, his work, his kids, his home, his hobbies and certainly his friends. And this woman has never met his friends, I mean, again, met the kids once and never been to the home. And to me, okay, I can understand why that might not happen in the first 90 days of dating.  I'm gonna repeat that. And I know this is kind of vulgar.  And men who are into you, even the guys who go slow will invite you into his life in some way, shape or form, which includes work and I don't mean going to his work but I'm saying including you and what's happening in his work life, what's happening with his children, what's happening with his family, certainly his friends, and certainly his home, okay? Back most men are lazy. They want you to come to their home versus going to your home. But a man who's in you is going to do both, okay? So those are the five signs he's into you even if he's moving slow and I'm just gonna repeat them really quickly. Number one, he clearly expresses that he wants an exclusive relationship. Number two, you rarely ever go more than 48 hours without hearing from him. Number three, if your schedule's a little off, he makes time for you at your schedule and not just at his beck and call.  And number five, he includes you in his outside life. All right, I just shared with you a bunch of content here. I hope it resonated with you. Please hit that like button. We're gonna, because we're on the live stream right now on YouTube, we're gonna take questions from the audience in the live chat. Just as a reminder, if you have a question, post the word question and then write the question thereafter. Also, you can purchase a super sticker and super chat for those that are live on the live stream right now. All the funds from the super stickers and super chats go to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Connor. Those who know me know my son Connor passed away a few years ago. And in his honor, in the honor of Connor, I've started a scholarship fund to defray the cost of personal development for those who can't afford full-blown personal development and they need some support in covering some of the costs. So purchase a super sticker, super chat and that also lets me know that I have provided good content for you as well. All right, so a question came in before I started here and I wanted to lean into it today. So I hope you find value in it. And the question is, I'm gonna post it in the comment section. Then we're gonna take questions from the audience. And the question is, Jonathan, why does it seem like I like men more than they like me? Jonathan, why does it seem I like men or seem like I like men more than they like me? And I think this is a great question and I pondered on this quite a bit for before I was preparing for this. And it occurs to me that this is a common narrative in the dating, mating, and relating process. And this is actually something I heard in a movie called The Ghost of Girlfriend's Past, The Ghost of Girlfriend's Past, which is Matthew McConaughey plays a player for his character as a player. And he's talking to his uncle, Michael Douglas, who's the quintessential player on the planet. And at one point, Michael Douglas is giving advice to a young Matthew McConaughey in the movie. And he says, the person who cares the least has the most power. I'm gonna repeat that. The person who cares the least has the most power. And I thought about that and that was really a fascinating comment to say, but in some level, there's truth to it. The person who cares the least, the person who's the least romantic, the person who makes the least effort in relationship oftentimes has the power because the other person is wanting the other person to care more, to make more effort, to be more romantic. So they're doing things to try and coerce the other person. What's the word I'm thinking of?  No, take that back.  Brain fogged right now. And so liking them. And this is oftentimes I witness women who give their power away to another human being. Let me repeat that. Women give their power away to men oftentimes. Now, in some ways, you're set up for this because the whole dating dance, the mating dance is been predicated throughout history that men are the leaders of the relationship. In fact, throughout history, it's always been a one-up, one-down dynamic, meaning men are literally, not figuratively, literally on top of women. In other words, they are in charge of the relationship. So literally throughout history, you've been indoctrinated with this understanding in relationship that men are in charge, they get to do whatever they want, and women have to follow. So I think on some level, you've just been indoctrinated with giving your power away to men. And that includes caring more than they care for you. This is why, by the way, my coffee mug says do all things with love, do all things with love, which is apropos with what I'm about to share right now. Because folks, I really want to encourage for the person who wrote in, reading the book If the Buddha Dated, If the Buddha Dated. This is a great book to lean into a non-gender specific way of approaching relationship but really approaching a relationship from a heart-centered space of not giving your power away to another human being by retaining your sovereignty so you can actually evaluate the relationship based on how much investment he's making into the relationship. Let me repeat, you're evaluating the relationship based on his investment. So for those who follow my work know, I like to use the analogy of two cars traveling down a road relatively at the same speed. That's a relationship in a two-lane street. In other words, a two-lane street. In other words, you're traveling at relatively the same pace. But if your pace is much ahead of his and he's dragging back, and again, this isn't about moving slowly, it's about how much his effort is. He's not demonstrating he wants an exclusive relationship. He doesn't necessarily feel like he's having enjoyment when he's with you. He doesn't check in with you regularly, okay? Just what I named, just to repeat those five things. He expresses exclusivity.  He schedules time at your schedule and not necessarily always his schedule. He appreciates talking with you and finally he includes you in his outside life. Men who care less don't do those things in relationship and men who genuinely care genuinely into you will make that kind of effort. And so when you're in a relationship where you care about him more than he cares about you, I highly recommend having a serious conversation within the relationship and to determine if it even makes sense to be together. Ladies, if you follow my work, you know, and I repeatedly talk about the book Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman. Eight Dates by Doctors John and Julie Gottman.  In fact, those who hire me for coaching, and by the way, there's a link to a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. My job, my expertise is to help you pre-qualify your prospect. In other words, determine the true compatibility between two people, learning how to ask the right questions to determine compatibility and how to vet for emotional maturity. Because if you follow my work, you are familiar with the relationship iceberg, the relationship iceberg. I'm gonna put a little bit closer on the screen and the relationship iceberg goes like this. This is the top above the water line is attraction and the tip of the iceberg is chemistry. What's below the iceberg is shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. And as you start checking these boxes, the water line of attraction starts going down. But sadly, in many cases, many of you don't share the same values, many of you don't have lifestyles or blendable. And lastly, as I said before, 80% of the population is emotionally immature or emotionally stunted at best. And this is men and women alike. So what's the most important theme of what I share just now? It starts with self-love folks. Again, my book, What the Heck is Self-Love Anyway is such an important tool to lean into loving on oneself. This isn't feminine, feminine. I'm going off on a tangent here because I get off on the whole concept of masculine feminine energy because I know many of you have been indoctrinated.   You know what's magical is self-empowerment, self-reliance, self-discipline, self-respect. I shared earlier about a woman who's been in a year and a half relationship with a man who's never been to his home. What kind of self-respect is that for you? I'm sorry to judge that. I mean, well, I'm not sorry to judge it, but if that sounds judgy, my apologies.  I gotta tell you something. There are a lot of scam artists out there. There's a lot of flaky people out there. It's important to vet this person. I mean, we should be doing background checks and have police investigative, not detective investigations or background investigations on people because nowadays, when you're meeting total strangers, especially off the internet folks, it's a scary place if you do not know somebody that knows this person, it's a scary place to be for men and women alike and mostly women. So I'm here to encourage vetting much better jobs so you don't find yourself in a situation where you care about him more than he cares about you and he has all the power in relationship.  Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know. I wanna thank that person who called in for that question or wrote in that question. Thanks a bunch. All right, let's take a look at what we have here. Really quickly, I saw a super sticker a moment ago that I wanna thank the person and it all sadly, it disappeared. So bear with me everyone. I'm just, oh my God, we have a lot of questions. All right, bump, bump, bump, bump, bump. Question from Gina. And the question is, hi, Jonathan. How can I tell the difference between love bombing and someone who is just very affectionate and open by nature? How can you do that? That's a great question because I have a habit, I know from my own personal experience, I have a habit of being a bit demonstrative and effusive when chemistry is running amok. So to me, being excited and enthusiastic is a very common thing. Remember I shared earlier about limerence? Limerence means extreme infatuation. And it's very common for men to be expressive when they have extreme infatuation. I think love bombing is more trying to convince you to like them versus the vocalization that they like you. Let me repeat that love bombing is an attempt to get you to like them versus just vocalizing they like you. I think what's most important to differentiate the two is to learn your own self, to learn your own self, to actually really pay attention to how you're feeling when this person is giving this affection towards you. Now here's the problem with this. A lot of you women are emotionally stunted and emotionally immature. So any attention from a guy feels wonderful. So if you're suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself, there's almost no way to determine the difference because you're feeding off of the energy of the love bombing or the infatuation from a place of lack within yourself. Let me repeat that you're feeding off of it from a lack within yourself because a woman who's truly or a man who's truly in their self love, they can tell the difference between love bombing and genuine infatuation or genuine like because one doesn't feel good and the other does. Let me repeat that when a person is loving on themself they can differentiate between the people that are love bombing versus the ones who are not love bombing and that's my interpretation of the answer. That's my perception, my answer to your question based on my experience. And that is when it doesn't feel right, it's usually love bombing and when it feels good, it's typically just genuine infatuation for those women who are actually loving on themselves from a place of strength and confidence and not from a place of neediness. Does that resonate with you? I hope it does. All right, I wanna quickly thank Liana Pollux for the $20 super sticker. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. That just made my day and that goes into the scholarship fund for Connor or for those that are seeking personal development but it's in his name. All right, our next question from Nicole. Question, I always wondered the moment you're thinking about this guy you like if he's also thinking about you too. Ooh, that's an interesting one. So that's where two people are actually connected with one another. And I've actually done some work in that area. I've done something where I would say to myself, God, it's been so long. I said, to my basic self connecting to my higher self. So let me say that. I believe we have a basic self and a higher self, okay? And what I would do is invite myself my basic self to connect with my higher self. And then I would say to my higher self, I would like you to connect with universal energy. That's where everybody's higher self are hanging out with one another. So I'd simply say, and I would say, I'll use Nicole. I'd say to my basic self, to my higher self, I request a connection. And then my higher self, I request a connection to source energy. And I would say to source energy, I would like to connect to my partner, Nicole. I would literally, I've done this before. And I share this with you with the intent from an energetic perspective to actually send a signal to my partner, to see if they would reach out to me. And what's weird is, I mean, this has happened a number of times. I've actually gotten a text message, a phone call, or some sort of indication from the person I was dating. They reached out to me because I sent them a message, an energetic message. By the way, that's true wireless connectivity. When you can connect with your higher self and to someone else's higher self. So now in reverse, is this happening? In other words, is it happening without this request to connect with higher self? I do believe people that are truly connected with one another oftentimes can feel each other's energy. I am a true believer we can actually feel another's energy. I've been in relationship with, my most significant relationship after my divorce, we were together six years on and off. I could be on the phone with her and literally within 10 seconds, based on maybe five words coming out of her mouth, I could feel the energy from her. The more familiar we get with another human being, the actual more empathy we have for another human being and empathy to me is not only feeling someone else's feelings, it's also caring about someone else's feelings. And most importantly, it's caring for your own feelings. Let me repeat that genuine empathy is actually caring about your own feelings and not compromising your feelings.  When I wrote my book, what the heck is self love anyway? Chapter one is speak your truth, do it with kindness. And I can tell you, I witnessed women over and over again that do not speak up in relationship because they're afraid of scaring the guy away. And I'm here to say, just as in my book chapter nine, if it's sincere and from the heart, you can't say the wrong thing to the right person. So folks, I wanna encourage you that you don't need a wireless connection to connect with your guy. You can actually pick up the phone and connect with your guy. However, if you wanna send an energetic signal to your guy or girl, then maybe take your basic self, connect to your higher self, ask your higher self to connect to source energy and ask source energy to do the work and see what happens. So Nicole, I'd like to suggest that you give that a chance and see what happens. Please let me know. Great question, thank you so much. All right, our next question, Monique says, question, a male friend who's in a relationship says, it's over between them. He likes to come for a visit and just talk, totally platonic. I'm not attracted to him. Is it acceptable in your opinion? Is it acceptable in your opinion? Well, you know what? I wouldn't, you don't need to ask for my opinion. What you should do is look inward and ask yourself, how do you feel about this situation again, from a place of empowerment and not from a place of need. So it might simply mean that he is seeking female energy, not feminine energy, female energy for someone to talk to because men have a hard time talking to other men about their feelings. So he's most likely coming at you from a platonic space. Now, oftentimes when someone's broken up with someone and they reach out to another female, they would like that female energy, but they would also like that female vagina.  So this is where boundaries are hugely important. If you do not want to pursue a romantic relationship with them, I would highly encourage to have healthy boundaries. However, I will tell you his reasoning behind it. He would like female energy to talk about what's happened for him, which doesn't benefit or serve you any. And most likely he wants to prepare himself to get inside your vagina. That's not always the case, but that does happen a lot. And that's just my perception on it. Ultimately, you have to decide to do what's most important for yourself. Always choose how do you feel first about a situation before you ever seek advice from someone else. Ask yourself, how do you feel about this situation? That's my invitation for you in this particular case. I hope that helps. If it does, please hit that like button, let me know. All right, let's keep going. Let's keep swimming. Let's keep swimming. Let's keep swimming. Vivian says, Jonathan, hello, I missed you lately. Have been too busy to see your big hugs. Thank you so much, big hugs back to you. Oh, someone says happy birthday to me. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that. It was on August 1st. Thank you so much. Kim says, I cannot believe people are so boring as to wanna debate politics on a date. I'd be out the door fast. I'm in agreement. If you two are not aligned on politics, that usually means you're not aligned on your values. And if you're not aligned on your values, how well of two partners can you be with one another? Now, for those that have extreme ideologies, that's what I'm talking about. Not those that are close to the vest. But I do believe politics is actually a good conversation to have because it does give you insight into a person's values. And so how people feel about certain things gives you a great amount of, you know, here's the thing. It used to be, a lot of dating advice would be, if a guy was, you know, gave a stingy tip on a date, that means he's cheap. Okay, first off, that doesn't mean he's cheap. Okay, by the way, if someone paid for a date, that shows generosity. So to judge how much they gave on a tip. But you wanna know, if you really wanna get to know another human being, talk about politics, talk about religion, because that gives you insight into two of the most important subjects that's in the world today. I'm gonna repeat that. Those are two of the most important subjects in the world today. What's happening, politics is just a reflection of what's happening in the world. And religion is a reflection of what's happening in the world. So I'm here to say they are actually important conversations to have, it's a lot better than seeing if a guy just was a little stingy on by 5% on a tip. Anyway, that's my suggestion, Kim, thanks for the question. I really appreciate that. All right, let's keep swimming. Let's keep, oh, Becca writes, question. If you have two, wait, if you two have sex on the third date without being said to be exclusive, and then he said he's going with the flow, is that a bad sign? If two people have sex on the third date without it being exclusive, or the words, it's exclusive, and then he said it's going with the flow, is that a bad sign? So I have a rule of thumb when it comes to sex, and this is my rule of thumb. Write this down, the acronym is CARES. Here, let me write it down for you. Hold on a second, C-A-R-E-S, CARES. There it is on the YouTube screen, there it's on the Instagram screen. All right, CARES. The C stands for do not have sex until you feel comfortable, comfortable, comfortable.  You should never be careful of alcohol consumption that might lower your boundaries. So be in a state of feeling comfortable. The A stands for be aware of the consequences. If you bond easily to a man, having a base, a man, especially on a third date, if you bond really quickly, be aware of the consequences, because here's the thing. First off, having sex once doesn't require exclusivity.  The R stands for real intentions. Learn his real intentions, okay? And that would mean are you seeking a fully committed relationship that's going somewhere or are you just going with the flow? The E stands for exclusivity. Ladies, I'm gonna tell you something. I'm very upfront in the dating process. I tell women very early on, if we're dating and we are intimate together, I'd like to be exclusive. How do you operate?   And the S in cares, C-A-R-E-S, the S stands for safety. Now, that could mean wearing a condom, that could mean getting STD tests, okay? But make sure you're safe. Just like comfortable, it's safety as well as comfortable.   Like I said before, the person who cares the least or the person who makes the least effort is the one who retains the power in relationship and that's unhealthy power in relationship and I'm not a big proponent of unhealthy power in a relationship. Can I please get an amen? I feel like a preacher. Thank you so much for that question. Becca, that was a great question. All right, bump, bump, bump, I'm swimming, I'm swimming. All right, question. If you're willing to travel to meet this guy you like, would he take the relationship to the next level which I'm willing to relocate? So I'm gonna share a very sad story I read on the news the other day. There was a woman who'd been communicating with a man I believe on Instagram for two months. She traveled to Arizona to go visit him. I believe she lived in Colorado or someplace farther away. And on their first date, they went hiking. He abandoned her during the hike and she died. Folks, she was meeting a total stranger, okay? Folks, I'm here to, I'm sorry to be very blunt here but when you're investing time in a total stranger, I think it's hugely important to find out as much information and if you're going to travel to another area to be with someone or at least another state or in California, I mean, it could take a plane ride to get to the other part of the state. But not but and I'm here to say that that person. Now, to the extent that women are more apt to pretzel themselves and re-accommodate themselves for the guy. Let me repeat that. Women are more apt to pretzel themselves and redesign their entire life for a guy and that's not healthy either. Folks, I'm not a big proponent of this. Now, that's not to say that you can't, I mean this, by the way, there have been plenty of people throughout history that have had long distance relationship and the woman oftentimes is the one who's making the bigger compromise in this area and it's worked out. It certainly can happen. But it's not necessarily a guarantee that he likes you more because he's doing it because quite frankly, he's lazy in the process because he wants it at his terms and not necessarily at your terms. When a guy genuinely likes you, he's looking at alternate ways other than making it all about you coming to him, he's finding alternate ways to make the relationship work. So it's not a one-sided type of arrangement. And in this particular case, Nicole, I'm not sure how I advise you other than to say I would wanna certainly vet the motherfucker as much as you can and please excuse my terminology about motherfucker but I would wanna vet that person as much as I can. By the way, wouldn't it be, I'm gonna go off on a tangent here. Folks, wouldn't it be great if you could call the ex-spouse of some guy you're dating to find out about the person? Wouldn't that, well, not a preliminary frame that. I said it, wouldn't that be great? Wouldn't that be interesting to actually find out about a person by calling or speaking to their friends, family and their ex-relationships? By the way, since I was in a relationship with someone, actually I'm gonna say this out loud. I was in a significant relationship with someone and I am more than happy to give her telephone number to anyone I'm dating if they want to check me out because I'd like to think she would give me rape reviews even though our relationship didn't work out. Not sure my ex-wife would say that but I think she'd be kind and generous. But for the most part, my suggestion in this particular case and I know I went off on a tangent, be careful pretzeling your life for another human being because oftentimes it doesn't work out the way you think. Remember, a relationship is a two lane street, not you compromising a significant about your life and I recognize that you might have the capacity relocate and that's certainly fine. I would just do it with a lot more caution because sadly what we just found out the other day about this woman who traveled to Arizona is I don't want anyone to ever experience that in their life. Oh my God, it broke my heart to read that. So thank you for allowing me to share, Nicole. I really appreciate that question. Thank you so much. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Kelly writes, I had a friend with benefits with a Leo born today. I just had commitment issues. I liked him, but he was white and I was young though he though, but we talked for six years. I moved away and told him wrong time. Well, thank you for sharing that. By the way, men and women are just his app to having a friends with benefits relationship and being absolutely okay with it. I don't judge friends with benefits relationships. I'm only here to say is typically one person sees it as friends with benefits and the other person wants something more and if you're wanting more it rarely ever, ever, ever, ever works out. At least in my experience that's the case. All right, if you have a question purchase a super sticker, super chat or post the word question and write the question there after. And it looks like we're getting some amens on my previous comment, amen. And amen, thank you so much. KK says, I dare you guys say happy birthday. He might get distracted. Thank you so much. And my birthday was six days ago. So thank you so much. August 1st, I am a Leo. All right, if you have a question post the word question or purchase a super sticker, super chat. Okay, Montel Willis writes question. Can men and women truly be friends or does sex always get in the way? Why is it always a pissing contest? Can men and women truly be friends? First off, the answer is absolutely men and women can be friends. Now, can former couples who are in relationship shift their relationship from romantic to something else? I think so under a few circumstances. First and foremost is that they each have contained their sexual desire for one another. In other words, they have contained it.  Number one, number two, I think it's very important not to engage in a lot of emotional conversations with one another. What happens with emotional conversations is something called emotional sex. And since I previously referenced my ex-girlfriend, I wanna talk about her. She wrote a book, Dr. Sherry Myers wrote a book called Chatting or Cheating, chatting or cheating. And one of the things she discusses is something called emotional sex. So if two people are friends and they're talking on an emotional level on a regular basis, that creates emotional sex, not intercourse sex, but a intimate relationship with someone and it makes it very difficult to actually be open to emotional conversations with your partner if you're filtering a lot of your emotional conversation with this friend or ex-lover.  Then to that extent, the conversations tend to be more surface level. And I'm okay with friendships on a surface level. When I say I'm okay with that, I mean everybody should do what they want.  I'm here to say that when we split up, one of the things we agreed was we were gonna discontinue a lot of emotional conversations with one another because that would lead to emotional sex. In other words, emotional conversations are very intimate conversations that can heighten our sexuality for another person.  So that's my approach to that question. Can men and women be friends? Yes, they can be. I have lots of female friends and some of them are ex-lovers. And it's with the understanding that we do not desire each other sexually anymore and that we do not engage in incessant, emotional or intimate conversations with one another, and I think that's a more healthier way to approach it. All right, Montel, thank you so much, great question. I wanna thank Danielle for your super sticker of 99 cents, thank you so much, I appreciate that. All right, let's see what we have here in the way of questions, questions, questions. Regent says, Jonathan, the picture behind you with your book looks very adorable. So folks, that's the picture of me in my book, what the heck is self-love? Anyway, I know on Instagram you can't see that, but thank you so much. I do change these pictures on a regular basis. They're from a company called Mixtiles, M-I-X-T tiles, M-I-X tiles, Mixtiles. I bought about a hundred of these and I changed these pictures up for every video. All right, you know what? I think this would be a good time. This is the time of the live stream that you can ask me personal questions. We're gonna wrap up this live stream soon and from this point forward, these are all any personal questions you have of me. So long as they're not crossing a boundary for me, I'm gonna do my best to answer these personal questions. Where's my hair off? There's that right here. And if you have a personal questions, post it in the chat box and I'm gonna do my best to respond. All right, Karina says, how do we navigate the dating world with all the red pill garbage that's rampant in the dating scene? My invitation, don't read it.  All right, let's see what we have here. Emmy says, question, how soon after a break up to date? My friend timing off, but now is good. Each person is different about the timing of when to, I think a significant marriage, you should take a good two year break to really find out who you are for yourself, okay? Most significant relationships, if they're a year or longer, I would say three to six months, take a break from actively dating or being connected to another human being and that there's separation between you and the previous partner. There is separation between you and that previous partner and that's a healthier way to approach it or at least that's my invitation. All right, hope that answered your question. Thank you so much, Emmy. I wanna thank Sal Gray who, oh, she wrote a question. Okay, so bear with me. I'm gonna find this question. All right, tall Saul, okay, question. I started a necessary custody case so the father won't steal away my children to the reservation. What are your recommendations to keep up self love and keep me from turning cold and bitter? Ooh, that's a tough one. So whenever we have conflict with another human being recognize that each person has their own point of view on how to approach things. And oftentimes when there's custody battles there's one person that feels they're right and the other person's there feel right. I'm a big proponent of daily personal development, self-help and spiritual work. Like I talk about in my book, what the heck is self love? Anyway, I would recommend 15 to 30 minutes a day with books like Return to Love from Marianne Williamson, Return to Love from Marianne Williamson. The book's The Untethered Soul like I spoke about before, The Untethered Soul and investing 15 to 30 minutes a day in some sort of personal development, self-help and spiritual work to maintain your sovereignty and inner peace because the reality is contention isn't gonna go away. What you can do on your own time is do your best to love on yourself which will create inner peace. And when you're feeling a sense of inner peace you're gonna feel a lot better about the process. And lastly, Michael Singer also wrote a book called The Surrender Experiment, The Surrender Experiment. Why I recommend this book, Sal, is that it's all about understanding acceptance.   All right, thank you so much. All right, if you have a personal question to me like Lillian just wrote, do you ever come to Florida? I haven't been to Florida in a decade but I do have several clients there and a few friends and my hope is to go visit them. Hopefully I go visit them with a girlfriend. That would be my ideal situation. So that's my intent to visit Florida when ideally when I have a great partner in my life or certainly when I wanna visit those friends and I hope to actually come out there in the next year. So to answer your question, that's the answer to that. Question, Nicola writes, what are your thoughts on speed dating? So my thoughts on speed dating is it's rare that two people actually ever connect at a speed dating event. However, I mean I'm not suggesting it doesn't happen but it's rare that you're gonna meet your life partner at a speed dating event. What the speed dating event does is help you with your people skills, with your people skills. You know, it's interesting, I came across my book or not my book, a copy of the book, Dale Carnegie's how to win and influence people, how to win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie. And why I'm bringing this up is this is a great book to start reading from a dating perspective. I just found it in my bookshelf the other day and I thought, oh, I'm gonna shoot some videos based on the concepts of this book. So speed dating is a great place to practice your interpersonal, your people skills. So when you feel uncomfortable because that's what speed dating oftentimes feels like, that's a great place to do some practicing, all right? So I hope that helps. Great question there, Nicole, thank you so much. Folks, if you have a personal question of me, post it there and I'm gonna do my best to respond. All right.  Well, very simply, I shoot them on my balcony. I live in Redondo Beach, folks. And I live literally over the water or at the marina and I have a nice balcony where I live and I shoot my Sunday videos, my calmer, more relaxed videos on Sunday. I should watch, I shoot the videos prior to Sunday but those are the ones I post on Sunday. So that's where I shoot them. My balcony is right over there. So thank you so much. Lynn S says, for the cheesehead, she gave me $5. Thank you so much for that's my son, Colin and I. We were in Amsterdam, the cheese capital of the world I think and we put on these cheeseheads and thank you so much for that one. Nicola writes, Jonathan, when are you coming to England? I don't know. I was in Paris with Colin. And matter of fact, when we were in Amsterdam, we were supposed to go to England but we didn't make it. So hopefully when I'm in a significant relationship we get to travel the world together. That would be my hope. So thank you so much for that question. Again, if you have a personal question for me, post it and I'm gonna do my best to respond. Oh, this is a great question. Emmy writes, do you ever get frustrated with us? Do you ever get frustrated with us? If I'm in full transparency, yeah, I get frustrated with a lot of things. Partially because it's my judgment. I'll be candid, it's a judgment to get frustrated. Where my most frustration lies is when someone, when someone who doesn't agree with what I have to say, they attack me as a person and not my ideas. In fact, I don't even like the idea of attacking someone's ideas. And certainly I don't appreciate when someone attacks me as a person. Those of you know I've been criticized as being a narcissist. I've recently, some woman posted, Jonathan, you just posted about your birthday.  And I'm like, look it. I was sharing with my audience. It was my birthday. I was feeling happy. And did I appreciate the love I got from all of you? Thank you for the love and kindness.  I'm a big proponent. If you don't like what someone says, share an alternate point of view from a place of kindness, not from a place of confrontation. Because confrontation is one of the reasons why most relationships are struggling to get. This is why I'm a big proponent of everybody reading the book, Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg. This will teach us, it teaches people how to communicate in a less violent way. So to the extent I get frustrated, that's the predominant reason why. All right, thank you for that question, Emmy. Question, where do you live? I thought it was Florida. No, I live in Redondo Beach, California, just south of LAX airport. All right. Deep diver, oops, not deep diver, excuse me. Bear with me. Suzanne writes, what are you drinking in that cup of yours? The cup says, do all things with love. This was actually a gift from my ex-girlfriend. And I'm actually just drinking crystal light. No cocktail for me right now. So that's what's in my cup, thanks so much. I'm being attacked for not taking the vaccine even without understanding why. Folks, I understand why many people are reluctant to take the vaccine. In fact, you know what occurs to me? When I took the vaccine, there was this long laundry list of warning, warning, warning, warning, warning. You had to initial, initial, initial, initial.  There was a lot of warning signs. You could basically grow a third toe, it's not a third toe, you can grow an extra six toe. You could have horns coming out. And that's not what it said, I'm being tongue-in-cheek. But there's some legitimate reasons why a person may be reluctant to do it. And to judge the other person for that reluctancy to me is a closed-minded way of thinking. And under the guise that it's all, you're helping humanity. I'm of the opinion everybody has a right to navigate their life the way they wish for themselves. And to judge another person for that is to me another form of judgment. And I'm not a big proponent of that. So that's my two cents on that. And again, I don't judge people who have taken the vaccine. I don't judge people who haven't taken the vaccine. That's the way I operate anyway. So I hope that answers your question. Sal writes, personal question, do you ever get the opportunity to have a birthday celebration with your son? Actually, this last birthday I was with my son.  They're sitting on my desk right there. And Colin is generous as well. But my birthday is a tough day for me because it's all the milestones that are tough days for me. Connor's birthday, Connor's mother's day, Connor's mom's birthday, Connor's brother's birthday, the day he passed away. And my birthday are all within 70 days of each other.  And so it's very tough time for me. And many people go through this at various different times in your life. Sometimes the holidays make you feel that way. Sometimes it's the loss of other people in our lives. In my particular case, it's hard to fully appreciate my birthday without my son, Connor. So I hope I answered your question. Thank you for asking. And yes, I do get to spend it with my other son, Colin. In fact, we were at the Hollywood Bowl last week for my last weekend for my birthday. So thank you so much. Deep Diver says, thank you so much. Kelly, excuse me, writes, thank you so much. This journey is self-love to unconditional love. Love, love, love. I wish you nothing but love, light and forever. Thank you so much. I really appreciate that, Kelly. And Deep Diver wrote something, personal question. Personal question, what is the insecurity most struggle with? And what are your most, what are you most confident about yourself? What are your insecurities? I think one of my insecurities is the most common insecurity of all most folks is I'm not good enough, I'm not lovable and I'm not likable. In fact, when a person is single and they haven't met their life partner and you've gone on date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date after date I'm being tongue-in-cheek here. But when you go on a lot of dates and it doesn't go anywhere, that can affect your self-esteem. I think what makes me confident within myself because I have been labeled feminine by a lot of men is that I'm very in touch with my feelings, which is not feminine, it's not masculine. To be in touch with your feelings and to continually work on navigating your feelings from a healthy place is to me not masculine or feminine, it's empowerment, empowerment. And I feel very empowered that I can be an incredibly great partner to a person. I do know this about myself.   I read the books that I think are more, have more value than watching the Kardashians or some sort of reality TV show on a regular basis. So I'm a big proponent of personal development, self-help and spiritual work.  I'm talking about my intellectual and emotional stimulation by a woman.  And what turns me on is a woman that has an inquisitive mind. In fact, I was just speaking to a male friend of mine where we had this deep dive discussion on death today and we had a deep dive discussion on duality and irony. And we were going down all these rabbit holes, talking about irony and duality and death. And we talked for almost an hour. I was walking the beach and he was doing the same. And we were just having these in depth. And it was a male friend of mine.  And yet sadly, most human beings talk at a surface level. In fact, I find most women talk at me and not with me. I repeat that they talk at me and not with me. And I believe because most women are guarded, bitter and jaded as they age in this dating process. And that's a judgment on my part, but that's what I keep witnessing over and over and over again. So what is my strength in relation? What I think I'm most confident is I'm gonna show up as at least vulnerable, authentic and transparent, more so than most men. And that is not feminine energy. That is empowered energy. Bum, bum, bum. And that's my answer to your question, Deep Diver. Thank you so much. All right. Kelly says, nope, that's all right. That was the Deep Diver one. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. I saw a question here, bear with me. Oh, Tim writes, what do your bracelets mean? The black one looks like... Okay, so folks, here's my bracelets. The first one is the Chakra Stones, but I call them the Infinity Stones because I'm a big Marvel comics fan. The next one says, if you can see, it says, here. Let me, I'm gonna show on Instagram first. And here it says, I'm enough. And the blue bracelet says Connor. Connor, 1999, 2018. It says, Connor rests with love. Now, the blue bracelet was a gift. So I wanna tell you the quick story on the blue bracelet. So about two, no, about three weeks after Connor passed away, I hear the knock on my door and there's a package on the ground. And I open it up and it's a box of a hundred of these blue bracelets. And there's no name or address from it. It's just a hundred of these blue bracelets. So I started to wear one. I gave a couple to my son and my ex-wife and I started to give it to friends. And then I posted a picture about a month or so after Connor passed away with these bracelets on. And on Facebook is where I posted it. And I saw a message that said, oh, great, you got them. And I'm like, oh my God, Carolyn, you're the one who sent them. She was so sweet. This is someone I met at the Hoffman process, the Hoffman process. This is a book I talk about frequently. If you're not familiar with the book, the Hoffman process, I highly recommend it. I did this live, an eight day event. And she was one of the sweet women that was at the Hoffman process and she purchased a hundred of those for me. I am down to my last 10. I've given away so many. So thanks 10 for that question. And those are my bracelets that I wear. The infinity stones, I'm enough and then Connor. All right, personal question says, what books and genres or movies do you enjoy? I am a big fan of sci-fi and I'm a big fan of anything that's Game of Thrones related. I'm a fan of The Witcher. I'm a fan of Game of Thrones. I'm currently watching Cursed. I'm a big fan of historical pieces of Marco Polo Versailles on Netflix or a couple of things. The tutors, I love the tutor. So I like anything historical and I love anything sci-fi, just binge watch Altered Carbon, anything sci-fi I love. And certainly I'm a Marvel action figure, a Marvel fan as well. So those are my top. Oh, and of course the notebook, Serendipity and Princess Bride. Oh, and then there's Shawshank Redemption. These are just some of my favorite movies. So thank you so much for asking. All right, Todd says, keep up the good work, big brother. Signing off date night. Hey Todd, have a great date tonight. Thank you so much. I wish you luck tonight. All right, Patriot Lady says, you're so honest, love the cares acronym. Love asking what does commitment look like to you and how will you know if you're ready? Great questions I recommend asking. And again, if you need some love and support, check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. We're just gonna keep going. Cause I have no, look at it's Friday night and I have no plans tonight. My best bud is at the Hollywood Bowl with his girlfriend and his children. So I'm solo tonight. I'll probably go to the beach a little bit later. All right, let's see. Trendsetter says, I wear some of the same chakra stone braces. Do you remember the significance of the stones? No, I do not. But I'm sure they're out there, the chakra stones. All right, deep diver writes question. How do you handle a great mental connection with a man who doesn't want marriage? We click on all three levels, but he isn't in the marriage. He keeps coming back to me because of connection. So great connection is one thing. Being in a relationship is another thing. I'm a big proponent, folks. If you want to be in romantic relationship with someone and you want to have regular sex with them and you want to have companionship, connection and sex, then read the book eight dates to determine if you want a fully committed relationship with someone. That to me is what is, unless you want casual, then seek casual. If you want fully committed, then express yourself. That's what you want and only choose people who want the same thing. That's my invitation for you. So great question. All right, this will be my last personal question. Weegeans has personal question. How do you turn off the fear of being judged in public or criticism with the passion of your work? Whoa, so that's a great question because folks, I do have a fear.  Oh my God, there's the Vaxxers and the anti-Vaxxers and the Democrats and the Republicans and this and that. Listen, I struggle with it at times because in some ways I struggle on a lot of different levels because I'm under a microscope and believe me, this is a challenge for me, especially for a person who's dyslexic like myself who oftentimes says one, when it's thinking one thing and his mouth says another thing. You know what? Forgiveness, forgiveness, forgiveness. Forgiveness means simply forgiving love. Forgiving love, I say to myself frequently, I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you. For those who know this, it's called the Hawaiian forgiveness prayer also known as the hapono, pono, pono, pono. And I say it to myself every morning when I wake up and every night I go to bed and regularly throughout the day as a way to give myself an injection of love and that's my only way to navigate, oftentimes sticking my foot in my mouth which I do on a regular basis. And I think that'd be a great place to end for today. So folks, I wanna thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for allowing me to enter your life for a few, for an hour or so and share this content, just as a reminder, he's moving slow, the five things to demonstrate he's into you. Number one, he clearly expresses he seeks an exclusive relationship with you. Number two, you rarely ever go 48 hours without hearing from him.   And lastly, he includes you in his outside life, his work, his hobbies, his kids and his friends. That's how you know a guy's into you even if he's going a little bit slow. I hope you found value in this content and if you did, please hit that like button. Please share this with your friends. Send this link to 10 friends. And if you all did that, you'll help me get to 100,000 subscribers. Please purchase a super sticker, super chat. If you felt there was value in this, that would show me that you care. And again, those proceeds go to a scholarship fund in the name of Connor. And I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic hug of self love, hug of self love, gigantic bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now, bye-bye, bye-bye.


Okay, so the last of the Warner Mamelis lab group is Dr. Ryder. He comes from us by way of Pennsylvania and the Rochester School of Medicine. And we'll be presenting on a sulcus fixed lens that they've been testing to dabberize. Thanks. All right, can you hear me? All right, today I'm going to be talking about a new piggyback IOL that we did a study on in pseudophagic dabberize. And again, we have a research grant from MediContor, the maker of this IOL that was using the study lens. And so I'm first going to talk about why we use piggyback, otherwise known as supplementary IOLs, go into the history of piggyback lenses and then talk about the study that we did with the new MediContor lens. So a patient that already has a primary IOL, you can add a piggyback lens in to add multifocal or toric function to that primary IOL. A more common indication is to do with post-cataract surprises. As my fellow fellow John touched on, you can have some options for post-cataract surgery or fractal surprise. The easiest is glasses or contacts, but most patients want to be spectacle free. You can do PRK or Lasik. And that is more refractive fine tuning. You can use like 0.1, you can get within 0.1 or 0.2 diopters of your goal refraction. It's usually more expensive than out of pocket.  And you can get within about half a diopter of your goal of refraction with that. As far as lens exchange versus piggyback, lens exchange is a more technical surgery, depending on the study that you look at. You can have up to 50% zonular dehiscence, about 8% chance of capsular rupture back into the vitreous. Whereas with piggyback, it's a lot simpler of surgery. And the one state I could find that was head to head with piggyback versus lens exchange. Better outcomes are reported in piggyback implantation with 92% of eyes getting within that goal refraction and just 82% with lens exchange. So the first time piggyback was placed was in 1993 with a patient that needed a 46 diopter lens, which isn't available. So Dr. Gaten chose to put two lenses into the bag to achieve the 46 diopters. In that case, I'm Michael Famos. The patient actually had good vision like a year, a year and a half out. And this was done two lenses in the bag throughout the 90s. But a complication of having two IOLs in the bag is inter lenticular pacification. So it's pretty much the same phenomenon as PCO. You have the lens on the picture on the right, the equatorial capsule cells can grow posterior to the primary IOL to cause PCO. Or if you have two IOLs in the bag, they can be funneled between the two IOLs and cause hyperplasia between that and cause a pacification. In addition, the piggyback lens in the bag can push the primary IOL posterior and cause a hyperopic shift with that. And so in the early 2000s, instead of putting two IOLs in the bag, they started placing the piggyback into the sulcus. But the lenses they were putting into the sulcus were originally engineered to be in the bag and that caused the complication. So on the left you can see this is in Acrosoft. So this was designed to be in the bag. So it has very sharp optic edges to prevent PCO. It has a very textured sidewall and that's to prevent the positive dysphotopsies you can get at night when you have a bleak light coming in and reflecting off of the optic sidewall coming back on your retina. So what happens when you put a textured sidewall and a sharp optic edge into the sulcus, it can chafe up against the iris and cause deposition of IPE cells as you can see on the picture on your right, causing pigment dispersion syndrome and even worse that can lead to pigmentary dispersion glaucoma if that ends up in your canal flim. So how do we avoid the ILO which was when we had two lenses in the bag and how do we avoid pigmentary dispersion syndrome which is caused by the optic rubbing up against the iris. So between 2007 up to the present a couple of lenses have been put on the market specifically engineered for piggyback implantation into the sulcus. And they're designed with round optic edges and thin haptics to avoid that chafing that something like an Acrosoft lens would cause. So on the left you can see it's very sharp IOL optic edges and on the right that's a sulca flex lens, very soft and undulating edge. So if you had to choose one of those to rub up against your iris you'd want the rounder one obviously. And these piggyback sulcus IOLs also have posterior haptic angulation. So as you can see in the picture on the right it kind of vaults the optic posterior and that's again just to avoid any possible rubbing up against the iris. And they also have a, the piggyback lenses have a concave posterior surface as opposed to a convex-convex configuration which IOS usually have. So you can see on the right the red is outlining a piggyback lens which has that concave surface and that's just to increase the interlenticular lens distance to avoid the optic-optic rubbing. And in general piggyback lenses are larger than normal IOLs, around 14 millimeters in diameter, overall diameter with the haptics. Your sulcus is like 11 millimeters and the optic is 6.5 to 7 millimeters. To compare the sulcus flex is 13, which is on the bigger end of IOLs, and about 6 millimeter optic. So none of these are FDA-approved but at least on the European and worldwide market there are three piggyback lenses currently used, the Rayner, sulcus flex, the Aspira, and the first Q first add-on. So if you notice the first Q has this kind of square optic design which is theorized to prevent pupillary capture and that's our current study lens also has that design. So now I'm going to talk about the study that we did on 12 cadaver eyes which had primary IOLs already in place premortem. So this is our study lens, again it has that same kind of square design as the first Q, first add-on. It's a one-piece hydrophilic acrylic. It has the same large dimensions as the other 3D IOLs in the market and it has these four flexible loop haptics that configure into different sizes of sulci. So we did a Miyaki Apple technique which is cutting coronally the eye, placing some glass and gluing the eye to it. It just allows for easy video photography from the posterior view which we don't usually get to see in eyes. We did a pre-op OCT, then we removed the cornea and the inner iris leaving the peripheral iris to simulate pupillary dilation. We then inserted the add-on lens and did post-op OCT and anterior and posterior photographs. And we were looking to see if the IOL was centered, if there was any tilt in the IOL, as well as assess the inter lenticular space between the primary and piggyback IOL. And so don't get lost in this table, but this is just to show that we specifically chose eyes from our library of eyes that we have in our lab of different axial lengths with different primary IOL materials, representing acrylic, PUMMA, silicone, etc. and different amounts of some rings ring just to kind of replicate any possible clinical scenario that our study lens could find. So as you can see, different amounts of some rings ring and primary IOLs and these are the actual eyes we used. And so what did we find? So I'm comparing what we found in this study to what we did in a previous study three years ago with the sulcoflex analogous study. So in all 12 eyes the lens has never touched, there's always a positive inter lenticular distance between point 3 and point 1.2 with the metacontor compared with the sulcoflex, which also always had some kind of inter lenticular distance but was a little closer. Three years ago with the study of the sulcoflex, we found a correlation between the amount of some rings ring and the amount of inter lenticular distance. So the more some rings ring was present, the more it kind of vaulted that piggyback more anterior. We found a weak association up to moderate but that trend didn't continue this year with the metacontor with severe summer rings ring. So we didn't find that same association. Also with the sulcoflex study, we found that with thicker primary IOLs like silicone, there was a smaller inter lenticular distance just because it occupied more of that space. We did not find such an association this year with the metacontor. As far as tilt, we found four cases of tilt. One was due to an area of localized summer rings ring, which I'll talk about, and three cases due to zonular dehiscence. Subjectively, all 12 eyes had that piggyback lens well centered as per Miyake view and OCT. So I'm going to talk about the two cases of tilt that we found. So this is I number three had a localized couple of clock hours of inferior summer rings ring as you can see. And I kind of overlaid a ghost image of the study IOL, which in reality is anterior to all these structures. There's a posterior view of the eye. So those loop haptics would actually be anterior to the slayer processes and the summer rings ring. So when Dr. Manlis put this IOL in that inferior haptic was overlying the summer rings ring and with my animation here, it kind of vaulted the inferior haptic anteriorly causing some tilt on OCT. As you can see on the left, there's just less distance on the left between the two IOLs than on the right. So Dr. Manlis then rotated 90 degrees so that each of the loop haptics were kind of straddling that localized summer rings ring. As you can see on the left, that resolved the tilt. This is before and after on the left and right of the tilt before and after that rotation to straddle the summer rings ring. We also had some cases of zonular dehiscence causing cases of tilt as you can see here on OCT. The piggyback relative to the primary. Again, the piggyback is on the top and primary below that. This is an anterior view now of the eye. As you can see, these loop haptics should be anterior to, in other words, closer to the camera than the ciliary processes, but they slipped posterior to the ciliary process due to compromised zonules there. And in eye number eight, you can see on an anterior view that gap between the bag, which is visualized with the summer rings ring and the ciliary processes. There's about four clock hours, three clock hours of zonular dehiscence. And indeed, in that eye, we did find a tilt when we implanted the study IOL. And on anterior view, again, we found one of the haptics slipping posterior to the ciliary processes due to weak zonules. This is kind of hard to see. This is an posterior view, and you can see the outline of a loop haptic there. So some of the take-home points from the study just outlines the importance for the preoperative exam when you have a patient that you're going to plan a piggyback lens into. If you can identify any isolated areas of summer rings ring, then interoperatively, you can plan to straddle the tabs. If your lens has four tabs to straddle or if it has two, again, just to rotate 90 degrees to avoid any possible tilt. And although very difficult attempt to identify any zonular dehiscence preoperatively, so you don't misplace a tab posterior to the ciliary processes. But in general, this Metacontor study lens centers well. It fits into a variety of different sizes of eyes with different amounts of summer rings ring with different primary IOL types. It always has a positive interlinticular distance and has minimal tilt in the absence of zonular dehiscence and isolated summer rings ring, at least. Thank you, and I'll take any questions.


Everyone likes going back to their hometown and playing and I'm definitely lucky and excited to do that. I think two positive but very disappointing results. Everyone in the team obviously wants to grab those three points and there were two chances where we could have done that but necessarily I don't think it's a back step in any way and there's definitely areas to improve on and look forward towards the next games and hopefully grab three points. I think and look, Wellington's always been a bit of a tough team for us. What's the things that you guys are going to be playing to do going forward in this next game? I think definitely one of the biggest things was just being more positive. It's not like we're not without our chances in our last two games but we'd have to have more chances to go forward, have shots on goals and hopefully put it in the back of the net.


Well, howdy there you're watching episode 41 of the Daily Decrypt independent members at LTB network I am your host Amanda and today's episode is brought to you by new bits Can home-based mining be re-incentivized for the average person? Will there one day come a time when we hear about the booming Decentralization of mining as opposed to the inverse The company bit heat seems to be betting on it as they're currently building the first prototype of a Bitcoin miner Which pays for its own cost and its electricity usage by doubling as a water heater Bitheat co-founder Julian Stahl has published a progress report about the device Asking interested community members to take a short survey and or provide him with feedback as they continue in this early development stage The number of Bitcoin users who are dissatisfied with the development going into the core reference client is growing Alternative reference clients offered by the likes of Bitcoin XT and Bitcoin Unlimited are gaining traction in places like Reddit The push to use alternative reference clients reached perhaps a new high over the weekend as a Bitcoin core developer Pushed a generally unpopular patch to the upcoming core client You can learn more about the patch in an essay by open bizarre developer Chris Pacia also linked below Last week the Daily Decrypt put out a little survey seeking an alternative to a reportedly defunct Wordpress Bitcoin tips widget. We got a solid answer from Favv blogger at smartcoins.pw Who reports that he has been happy with his mycelium gear payments widget? This widget generates new Bitcoin addresses for each new visitor to your website It's free to use open source and the coins are never held by mycelium, but always go straight to you And it is not I repeat not too late for you to enter the anti-war haiku contest It's no secret that the monopolization of money makes funding unpopular things like war Easier than they would be otherwise So a desire for peace is just one reason why so many people like cryptocurrency so damn much Express your desire for peace by sending a haiku to anti-war haiku at antiwar.com to match the Syllabic structure of a haiku the top three winners will be awarded point five point seven and Point five Bitcoin respectively You can enter as many haikus as you like until the deadline of midnight December 16th And you're encouraged to share them on your social media profiles with this hashtag to spread the word Do you wear your love for crypto on your sleeve? I mean literally do you wear your love for cryptocurrency on your sleeve? Because if you don't but you want to I just found this store called crypto threads and they make custom crypto t-shirts So right now in their store are Bitcoin Dash and unobtainium shirts And if you are looking to get shirts made hosted shipped and sold for your fans on behalf of your favorite community Send your design files and your desired profit margin if any over to the folks at crypto threads To get your gear sold there Today's episode has been brought to you by new bits a cryptocurrency Which has maintained almost an exact US dollar value since it was launched in 2014 Some people like to ride the crypto volatility wave while others pine for stability And if you find yourself in the latter group visit new bits comm to learn more Remember to share this episode with a friend. Good. Bye